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#thing is i fear there won't be a conversation in the first place.
finalrestingplace · 2 years
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logged in to fb to do my yearly "deactivate in time for my birthday so that i don't get the attention", didn't get sweats and heart racing palpitations from logging in to fb.
i still have a phobia of that site and of talking to my friends online. they've been worrying. i don't want them to worry. i want them back. i'm just relieved they've still stuck around and not deserted me for my poor choices (not communicating online because of my phobia)
i'm going to tell them soon where else to get a hold of me it's the right time
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griffonsgrove · 3 months
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Hiiii!!! See your doing writing requests for Hazbin, Its my hyperfixation so I am in need of more content 👀 so I'd like to request maybe Vox general or NSFW headcanon ( either one is good lol-) with a afab reader maybe? This is my first time requesting something like this so sorry if I'm a little nervous or bad at requesting. I think this is how people are supposed to request? XD
General Dating Headcanons | Vox
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a/n: You're totally alright dear! You said everything just fine! As I've stated before, I got early access to the first two episodes, and it's been so interesting to analyze vox's character! I hope I can do him justice!! He's starting to grow on me now. I'm gonna stick with a gn!reader just because these are general headcanons and I want them to be suited for anyone!
fandom: Hazbin Hotel
wordcount: 1299
cw: SPOILERS FOR HAZBIN HOTEL, swearing, vulgar content, stalking, death and mentions of death/murder., toxic/absuive relationships.
(PLATONIC):
Vox’s got eyes EVERYWHERE in hell. There is no escaping his line of sight unless you go completely off the grid. Which is pretty difficult to do when the entirety of pentagram city is covered head to toe in VoxTech.
However, if you don't pose a threat to him, he really doesn't give a shit about you otherwise, and won’t pay that much attention to your life.
When you first fell into hell, you were mostly confused as to how you wound up here in the first place. That quickly subsided into fear as you noticed the large variety of demons and sinners casually walking down the sidewalk like it was an average tuesday. 
You’ll never forget the sight of seeing a demon gnaw off the arm of another and swallow it whole, like it was an all-you-can-eat buffet. 
You wander aimlessly down the streets, keeping to yourself and being very cautious of those around you. Your clothes were in tatters, and you didn't have any form of money whatsoever, what were you to do??
You had two options: Somehow find a job in this new horrific realm, or, die.
You didn't care too much for the latter.
This is how you stumble across one of the largest studios/clubs in hell, owned by probably the most feared overlords in pentagram city. The V’s. 
You get hired to be nothing more than a waiter/waitress, to serve the patrons of the club, mostly serving them their drinks.
You weren't too fond of the work uniform either. It left nothing to the imagination, and exposed alot of skin, far too much to your liking. The job actually paid somewhat decently though and it was enough to be able to sustain a living. You were quick to rent out the nearest apartment.
One day, while you’re out on the main floor, making your rounds, your eyes briefly lock with the TV demon across a sea of sinners. Call it cheesy, but it was almost like a spark went off the moment he laid eyes on you. Which is something that doesn't happen often with the tech-savvy overlord. Who were you??
He lazily beckons you over with a claw, to which you obediently follow, although it doesn't hide the sheer nervousness written all over your face, He gives you his drink order in that sultry, velvet voice of his, eyeing you up. You gulp slightly and are quick to bring him his order. He thought you were so cute trembling for him.
He begins to stalk observe you closer after that. If you have any electronic devices he’ll watch you through your screens, trying to get a glimpse into what your life was like outside of work. The things you enjoyed doing in your free time, favorite shows, foods etc.
He def goes through your search history.
He would start showing up more in the sections you worked at, oftentimes minding his business, but occasionally striking up a conversation with you.
You did have to admit he was quite the charmer, his smooth voice was hypnotic to you.
OBSESSIVE TENDENCIES. If he notices some creep won't leave you alone while you're working, he’ll take care of them personally, it’s never a pretty sight afterwards. He cant have anyone taking what's his.
You're oblivious to his stalking and possessiveness, you don't think much of it, maybe that's because he puts on a friendly face when you’re around him.
But after some time of getting to know you, He’s the one that eventually asks you out on a “date”. You’re skeptical at first, but decide to accept his offer. And also partially because you were afraid of what would happen if you said no.
(ROMANTIC):
Ngl it’s kind of a situationship in the beginning.
Vox is a busy man, it’s constant work maintaining the studios (especially valentinos temper) and managing the entirety of hell's technology. So, he may ghost you at first.
That being said, He will still keep an eye on you. He often watches through your phone while you sleep, just to make sure you’re safe. Hell is a dangerous place after all.
Speaking of, you’re now under the protection of the V’s, so that’s a plus! You never have to worry about another demon laying a finger on you. They usually never get close enough to anyways.
He very easily gets jealous. He won't show it on the outside because he has an image to uphold, but you can tell every time from that crazed look in his eyes.
Vox is a possessive lover; he wants to keep you all to himself. If he could, he’d keep you locked up by his side all day.
CONTROLLING. He HAS to know where you’re at, at all times, and who you’re going to be with (lest you face one of his tantrums). Also dictates what you wear, He likes to dress you up to his liking, like you’re his own personal doll.
Insecure much?
Say goodbye to privacy btw. He constantly has you in the back of his mind and a watchful eye on you. It can be kind of suffocating at times. The two of you have gotten into a few arguments because of this.
Valentino gets jealous of you too. How dare you take his boy-toy away from him? He’s often giving you the stink eye and will threaten you behind vox’s back. You’re too scared to tell Vox, because you don't want to face Val’s wrath.
You know briefly of his and Val’s “relationship” it all had seemed very one-sided and completely unhealthy.
You're often having to calm Vox down. The man has a very short temper and is easily provoked. 
Imagine you pressing little kisses to his screen after he found out about Alastor’s return. He remains stoic, but secretly enjoys your affection.
Some of the pet names he loves to call you include; Doll, Dear, Darling, Sweetheart, Babe.
Pretty old-fashioned ik, but he's a classy man alright?
He tends to be pretty touchy, always having a clawed hand on the small of your back, or an arm wrapped around your waist. It’s more of a possessive trait of his, to keep what's his close.
He loves having you sprawled on his lap while he’s in his screen room, you stay nuzzled into his side, often taking naps while he does broadcasts.
He TOTALLY spoils you btw. He’s one of the most powerful overlords in hell, ofc he has the money to show it. Whatever dingy apartment you had before, forget about it bc this man has you living in a penthouse suite in one of the most expensive apartment buildings. He sees you looking at something in a store or online?? Boom, it’s yours now.
He loves buying you clothes, as I’ve said before, you're his “doll” and he loves playing dress up with you.
And if you buy him something?? He’s taken by surprise at first, he’s never really been on the receiving end of that affection, so whatever it is you give him he’ll cherish it.
If you ever have someone bothering you, or want to get rid of, you just say the word babe. He’ll be feeding them to his sharks >:)
The man is emotionally constipated, ok?? All he’s ever known from relationships is what he shared with Val (and trust me that was a train wreck). He’s rough around the edges, short-tempered and isn't always easy to get along with, and he’s incredibly possessive which can be suffocating to deal with at times. This probably stems from him not wanting to actually be alone, He doesn't want you to slip out of his grasp, so he keeps a tight leash on you. But underneath all these flaws, he really does love you and care about you. At the end of the day, He just wants someone that will stay.
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atinystraynstay · 1 month
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Pretty Boy Rock - Yoon Jeonghan
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Synopsis: Every girl in your office swooned over Yoon Jeonghan besides you. Yet, Jeonghan always liked a challenge.
Pairing: Colleague!Yoon Jeonghan x fem. reader
Genre: "I won't fall for you because everyone else does" girl meets the "I get whoever I want" boy
Inspired by @aaniag - thanks for tagging me in this post ♡ this is only the second one so we still have a long way to go!
First Encounters Mini Series: #1: #2: #3: #4: Wonwoo #5: Jeonghan #6: #7: #8: Dino
Word Count: 2k
Friday afternoon, 12:25pm
"Did you see what Jeonghan is wearing today?" "Girl, how could I not notice? My attention was all over his slacks." "The front or the back?"
Oh god. Give me a fucking break.
If there was one thing you hated, it was gossip around the office. Especially when it came in the form of girls basically drooling over one of your colleagues, Yoon Jeonghan. And of all places, they decided to take their little thirst fest into the break room.
"You know, there is something that I noticed," you said, popping into the conversation.
Immediately, heads snapped towards your direction. You were a bit taken back by the abrupt movement, fearing that their own heads would fall off. Either because they didn't realize you were in the room or they were interested in what you out of all people had to say. You were one of the few survivors of the trance Jeonghan seemed to place over your female colleagues. And if you had something to say regarding the matter, they surely were interested.
You couldn't help but smile slightly as you set down your silverware. The element of surprise had to be on your side here. You just had come in to enjoy your salad, but why not enjoy a show?
All the women leaned in, anticipating for what you might have to say. Your eyes glanced from side to side, as if you were scooping the scene to make sure there were no unwanted listeners. Getting the hint, the women leaned further in to hear the secret you were about to spill.
Time to go in the for the kill. In the loudest voice you could possible muster, you said the following:
"The way you talk about Jeonghan is quite disgusting. You hate when the men in the office talk about your skirts or how tight your blouses, but here you are drooling over Jeonghan in just a pair of pants? Pathetic. Close your mouths, ladies, or you might flood the office."
The small group gasped at you, eyes glaring at you but also glancing around to make sure nobody had looked in their direction. Their faces red in embarrassment as you smirked triumphantly.
Being the polite person you are, you bowed your head gently to pardon yourself. Gathering all the trash from your lunch, you threw it away and was about to make your exit.
"You're just upset that you're not Jeonghan's type," one of the woman muttered.
You couldn't help but laugh at their claim. You turned towards the group who seemed to be mustering all the courage they could to stand up to you. At the same time, you raised an eyebrow and had your hands on your hips. Do they really think their words will hurt you?
"Oh no! What will I ever do?" You said dramatically. "At least I don't live in some delusion where me and my friends are all after the same guy? I mean, he can only pick one of you. Or worse, he picks none of you."
Their eyes widened and mouths dropped at your words. Don't mess with the bull or you might get the horns. They seemed to be trying to come up with another comeback, but all you could do was walk away. Not worth wasting your breath on them.
You began to make your way back to your cubicle. You still had a few reports you needed to get done with before you could close out for the weekend. It wasn't that you hated your job. If anything, you kind of liked the routine it put you in. You even were beginning to be handed more responsibilities like leading presentations and joining brainstorming sessions for different marketing campaigns.
You definitely didn't have the time to be oogling over the looks of Yoon Jeonghan.
As you settled back at your dress, you let out a sigh. As invested as you were in the work you were doing, you couldn't help but feel as if time was dragging now that it was towards the later part of the day. Just 3 more hours.
"Well look who it is," a voice called out.
The hairs on the back of your neck rose a bit. You recognized that voice anywhere. Your attention was locked on the computer monitor in front of you, thinking that if you ignore the interruption it would just go away naturally. That was until you felt like something was looming over.
With a narrow gaze, you looked up to see the devil himself - Yoon Jeonghan. His arms rested against the top of your cubicle wall. You realy thought you had been silent enough to get back to work without alerting the beast. But by judging by the smirk curled on his lips, you knew he had been waiting for you. The black tie was loose around his neck with the sleeves of his white button up were rolled up to his forearms.
"Missed you, darling." "What can I do to help you, Mr. Yoon?" You did your best to keep a montone voice.
You didn't want to give any sort of impression you could be into what is happening.
"Mr. Yoon? What is with the formalies, y/n?" He gasped. "Well, I'm here to do my job and not entertain whatever this is," you explained.
"Is it actually that harmful for a man to be friendly?" "But what's the catch?" "Go out with me."
Your eyes widened and you nearly laughed. He frowned at your reaction but still stood his ground. There was no need to give any indicator that his ego had deflated a bit. He was not used to someone being so upfront with their rejection, normally accustomed to a shy "I don't know." But you were different. There was a reason he did this little waltz with you.
You and Jeonghan have been working together since you joined the company last year. He was technically someone in your department that could have been a mentor, but you were quickly swayed away by his flirtatious manner. Seeing that you were not dropping on your knees, begging for his attention, Jeonghan saw the challenge and knew he could beat it. There was a way to get into your heart, no matter how icy and impenetrable you wanted to come across.
He would crack the code, one way or another.
"I don't think it's a joke, doll. We're two attractive people. Come on. One meal couldn't hurt you." "Jeonghan, being in the same room as you is sometimes insufferable. How do I even know you don't want to go out with me because someone else was busy, hmm? I mean, weren't you just coupled up with the receptionist?" "Couldn't be fit into her Google Calendar."
You rolled your eyes at his response before dropping your gaze back down to your computer. You pretended to be typing away at one of the numerous documents you had pulled open, hoping it was enough for Jeonghan to get the hint.
However, he could tell you weren't budging quite yet. He also picked up on your little act as your screen was completely black. The brightness from the screen wasn't reflecting onto your face whatsoever. Still, he found you absolutely adorable.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. This is unprofessional of me, y/n. I'll leave you be."
Fucking finally.
Monday morning, 8:59am
Ding
Your heels clicked along the tile flooring of your office. It poured during your commute into work, which caused you to be stuck behind more traffic than usual. You didn't always mind, but it just put you in a foul mood. Especially since you had to sacrifice your Monday morning coffee run. It was ritual for you, and now the whole week felt like it was just off balance.
"Woah y/n. Your bad mood seems to have brought the bad weather," a voice called out to you.
Your gaze narrowed in the direction the voice came from. Your hair was slightly damped as you had to run into the front of the building from your parking spot because of course you didn't think it was going to run and didn't bring an umbrella with you.
Looking over, you noticed it was one of the girls from the break room on Friday. You rolled your eyes to refrain yourself from sticking up your middle finger. You just offered a polite smile before marching to your desk. As you moved, you heard her and her friends giggling at you. This is why you despised any sort of office relationship.
"Hey, y/n. You okay?" Jeonghan called out.
You were about to enter your cubicle when you saw Jeonghan overlooking your cubicle again. Your jacket rested on the back of your chair. it would be a miracle if it dried at all before the end of the day. You were also grateful you had a pair of flats you could change into in attempt to save your soaked shoes too. Plus, it as a good excuse to slip out of heels. You didn't mind wearing them but always valued comfort over appearance.
"Yeah," you murmured.
Usually, you would expect a snide comment from Jeonghan. Or a flirty attempt in righting the situation. But there was nothing. It cause you to freeze and look up to see what was going on. Jeonghan was only staring at you with almost a friendly smile on his face. Not a smirk but a smile.
You wanted to question it, but as you were calming down from your hectic morning, something else caught your attention. An iced coffee was sitting on your desk with a winky face on it. What the fuck?
You opened your mouth to question it but looked at Jeonghan instead. In response, he winked at you before slipping behind the wall that divided the two of you.
Standing there, you felt something unusual throughout your body. You felt warm and tingly, especially in your stomach. Your heart was doing somersaults. It was comparable to in cartoons when the heart leaps out of the character's chest. You stared at the coffee, specifically at the marker drawn winky face staring back at you.
Jeonghan did this? For me?
Your eyes couldn't help but wonder to see if this was a prank or if there was a hidden camera. Jeonghan still wasn't lurking in his usual spot. You also noticed that nobody else had an iced coffee on their desk awaiting for them. A blush overtook your cheeks, but you quickly sat down before anyone noticed.
Reaching forward, you moved the plastic container towards you to see it was from the local coffee shop you frequent. It was the place you went every Monday morning, the place you had to skip out on today or else you would be late. But what struck you was that he got your exact order.
Your blush intensified. You kept your head ducked as you took a sip out of the delicious drink. There was no denying the smile on your face wasn't just because of the coffee but because of Yoon Jeonghan.
And on the other side of the wall, Jeonghan was smirking to himself. He got his computer turned on before going to make himself a cup of coffee from the break room. He didn't often frequent coffee shops as they often didn't have decaf coffee. When he walked into the place around the corner from your office building, he asked the woman behind the corner if you had been in yet. Saying no and noting how odd it was, Jeonghan seized the opportuntiy. He asked for your usual order and requested a winky face drawn on it.
"Are you her boyfriend? She's mentioned there's a guy she's interested in at her place of work."
That's all the encouragement Jeonghan needed to go through with his plan. He shook his head but smiled at the barista. "No, not yet. I'm hoping this catches her attention."
And by the looks of your blushing face, he was close to winning you over. He always gets what he wants, and he certainly had his eyes locked on you.
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getosbigballsack · 2 months
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#rebellious boyfriend Gojo vs Pregnancy hormones:***
You both were about to have a baby at such a young age, barely eighteen, and you're already pregnant with his child. It wasn't a mistake. You've both made that part very clear when you had this conversation with both your parents.
Luckily for you both, your parents were supportive, though they were disappointed. They ensure that you and your boyfriend have all the emotional and mental support. A little apartment, just so you both could have a bit of privacy for yourselves and financial aid in the meantime while you both finished off your final year in high school and college.
But let's not divert from the main storyline at hand here.
Now, this piece is called sexy time featuring rebellious boyfriend Gojo Satoru and pregnant Nerdy Shy Reader-chan.
Only a few weeks away from graduation, and two months more until you can finally deliver your sweet baby. Things were going smoothly for you and Satoru. The students in the school are yet to find out that you're pregnant due to the fact that your uniform was a bit larger than you were and also because your pregnant belly was really small for seven month.
Today was a very special day. Your boyfriend had just received his acceptance letter from the university you both planned to attend to. Also, it's been a while since you were intimate with your boyfriend because he fears that he'll hurt the baby.
You know he doesn't really understand how horny your pregnancy has made you. It's simply the reason your parent bought the apartment in the first place. They knew how high a pregnant woman sex drive can be.
With all that said, you both decided to shower together. Unbeknownst to him, you wanted sex and he was going to have sex with you whether he wants to or not.
...
He watched you, eyes half lidded as he stared down at you fully on your knees in the bathroom on the wet cold shower tile with his throbbing dick in your hand. Your eyes batting up at him so beautifully, he swore you took what little breath he had left in that moment. "Baby girl the Doctor said not..."
"Fuck the doctor, I'm horny Satoru. Don't you wanna do it with me?" You asked him, lips pouting so cutely as you continued to stroke his throbbing hot cock.
"Of- of course, but I- I fuck! I just don't wanna hurt the baby. We're seven months pregnant Y/N. I can't risk anything happening to our baby," he said to you, fighting to urge to moan out. It's been a while since you held his cock like this as you stare up at him with you big beautiful eyes, pouting lips while on your knees.
It's a precious sight to see. Your naked and heavily pregnant body on your knees with the tip of your boyfriend's cock in your mouth. "Just a taste, Satoru. I promise I won't swallow anything," you said, and he shook his head no.
"Fine have it your way then," and with that said, you squeezed his cock before taking the entire length in your mouth, and a moment if sloppily sucking his cock like your life depended on it. Slurping and gurgling, spit bubbles forming at the corner of your mouth and drooling down your chin.
Its have been a while since you had sexy time like this and with the way how you were just staring up at your boyfriend as you practically swallowed his cock,that's all it took before he yanked you up by your arm and braced you against the shower glass.
"Let's go to the bedroom and I'll give you a proper fuck."
And you smiled, knowing that your boyfriend has finally gave in to you.
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creation-help · 6 months
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A special kind of intimacy between characters
[Not restricted to romantic dynamics!]
- I tear bread into smaller pieces to feed them to you, as if I am Jesus, or a mother bird. You may view me as a savior but I would kill for you
- Being there for the other person when they're sick - In a gross, disgusting way. Holding them unwaveringly through the wretched and repulsive, unflinchingly. Don't apologise, just survive. I'd do it again.
- You're scary, but I'm scarier. You don't know that yet, but I hope you won't fear me when you do.
- You're scary, and thank God for that. I'm more than happy to close my eyes when you use it on others. I am a coward.
- One character knowing exactly what the other one would really like to ask for, but is too self conscious or selfless to. Thus, they do it and provide, without the other person needing to outright request it. The self conscious character always makes sure the other one knows it's not obligated and they're always free to decline, and the other one nods firmly, knowing that, and still doing it.
- Sitting next to each other at the end of the world. Because it won't be okay. But they've accepted that
- "You destroyed the thing I love and I can't forgive you for it." "I can't forgive myself either." "I still can't hate you despite that." "I can."
- "Please hate me" "No."
- One character understanding when the other is in too low of a state to act like a decent person currently, and so they don't step over those lines that they'd normally tolerate. The first character holds the other one responsible for things later nonetheless, when they're able to actually carry it
- Two characters sharing the negative perceptions and opinions they've had of each other over the years. This can either lead to a realization that, respectfully, out of deep understanding of each other, they decide to not stay in touch with each other again from now on. Or, it can lead to a realization that thanks to this understanding they now have, they're more ready to become closer and have managed to clear the air with this conversation
- Characters of notably different ages talk and reflect on time that has passed between them. They feel a connection over how different their circumstances were. The younger one audibly wishes they could've done or changed something significant, to which the older character pointedly and gently tells them it wasn't their place to. Let us old crooks handle the tough things. (It wasn't your fault you spent formative years like this. I'm sorry you had to)
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luvyeni · 11 months
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JAEMIN AND BUNNY READER???????
DUMB BUNNY , SLY FOX; NA JAEMIN
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pairings. foxhybrid!jaemin x bunnyhybrid!reader
wc. 2.7k
warnings. oral (m.receiving), unprotected sex, breeding kink, scenting, mentions of marking, name calling (dumb bunny, cumslut, slut)
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enjoy <3 ! also i know his representative animal is a bunny , pretend he's a fox ...
everyone knew jaemin was a real sly fox , of course you'd fall for his resisting charms.
na jaemin was such a cunning fox , at least that was what all the other girls in your university said. you've never actually held a conversation with him , you anxiety was too high to even come close to the fox hybrid , let alone have a conversation with him , you however were pretty close with his friends , a hamster hybrid named jisung , and a bichon dog hybrid named chenle. you aren't sure how those three became friends — breeds like you guys , the prey hybrids , normally stayed to yourselves , never to mingle with the predator hybrids , like jaemin.
"you guys coming over tonight?" you , chenle and jisung sat at the lunch table outside. "i told you we can't , jaemin is throwing a party , and hyuck is forcing everyone to show up." donghyuck , a bear hybrid , although he could be considered as a predator breed , he was harmless , well to you of course. "you guys don't even enjoy those parties , why go?" you pouted , you were excited to watch the film you'd been dying to watch. "because he's holding his ps5 hostage , and he won't give it back unless he shows up." chenle said. "and jisung is forcing me." the younger boy grumbled , still pissed off.
"and if he doesn't give it back i'm gonna- gonna what." hyuck sat down at the table. "what are you gonna do little mouse." jisung glared at the older boy. "im not a mouse , im a a hamster." he corrected. "same thing." jisung was about to correct him again , when jeno , a friendly samoyed hybrid spoke up. "just ignore him , he's just bitter that the girl he liked said no to going out with him , but said yes to coming to jaemin's party." the bear whined. "he's cock blocking me."
"is it really cock blocking when she never really wanted you in the first place?" you asked , making the dog next to you laugh. "she has a point." he scoffed. "well what does she know , she's just a bunny." you rolled your eyes. "i'm a bunny not dumb." your ears twitched. "and she does have a point." jaemin walked over , his scent immediately filling your sensitive nostrils. "i can't cock block you if she never wanted to fuck you in the first place." everyone laughed at the boy. "fuck all of you." he scoffed , pouting to himself.
jaemin sat down next to you , eyeing your figure up and down. you felt his stare , shying away from him , eyes in your lap. "you're not gonna look at me." he said , his voice husky. "i mean you are staring into her soul , i'd be a bit freaked out too." chenle said , the fox did nothing but smirk. "are you scared little bunny , am i scaring you?" he could smell the fear dripping off of you , and it was such a turn on. "no-no , im fine." you curse at yourself for stuttering.
"good , don't want to scare a pretty little thing like you away." your face heats up at the compliment. "stay away from her you sly fox , she doesn't need negativity in her life." chenle said. "calm down puppy , i just wanted to ask her if she's coming to my party — you are coming right?" you wanted to say no , you had so much studying to do , plus the smells always heightened your senses — but with the way he was looking at you , it was almost like he was controlling you to say yes , so you did.
"really? you're going to his party?" jisung said , he knew you despised parties , so this was new. "yeah." you said. "is that a problem?" jaemin turn to the hamster. "no , i guess not." he shrugged. "good." he turned back to you. "i guess i'll see you later little bunny." you nodded , the nickname definitely sent shivers down your spine. he got up , smiling down at you being taking his leave along with haechan and jeno.
"it doesn't take much to get you going does it?" chenle shook his head. "just a few stares , and a pretty smile , and you're ready to bare his children." his wasn't wrong , jaemin did have you feeling some sort of way. "don't be so dramatic." you replied. "i've asked you 3 times to come party with me and jisung , and you've denied all 3 times claiming your nose would be too sensitive, but god forbid jaemin asks , and you automatically say yes." you rolled your eyes , nose twitching. "it might be fun." you say.
"just be careful." jisung spoke up. "i know you've heard the rumors about him." of course you have, jaemin was known around the school , he loved to to prey on smaller girl hybrids , and then ghost them after getting what he wanted. "he's also know to be extremely rough in bed , like hana from my business class told me there is this look in his eye when he- okay we don't need to hear the rest." jisung interrupted. "just be careful y/n , you know how fox hybrids are." you nodded. "i will , i promise."
you thought about what jisung said , while getting ready for the party. there was no reason you should have to be that careful , i mean it wasn't like you knew jaemin that well , he wouldn't actually try and hook up with you? right? you could only think about it , you remember overhearing a conversation between two of your classmates. "he is huge , like i could barely walk the next morning." "you're kidding?" "no , i had to call out of class the next morning." "no way."
you pushed your thighs together , was he really big? how would he feel inside you? would he be rough. "that's enough!" you told yourself , your underwear already becoming wet at thought. "he probably was just messing around , you probably won't even encounter him tonight." you told yourself , finishing getting ready. chenle and jisung let themselves in , waiting for you in your living room.
"i'm ready." you slipped on your heels , spinning. "how do i look?" you asked , you really wished you shouldn't have. "like you're ready to be fucked by jaemin." chenle said. "i'm not asking you , what do think sungie?" he nodded. "you look good , now lets go so i can get my ps5 back." you scoffed , "why am i friends with you two." you grabbed your purse. "because who else would befriend a bunny?" chenle pushed you out the door.
you guys pulled up to the party , after about 5 minutes you finally found a good parking spot , getting out the car and making your way to the house. "the music is so loud." your sensitive ears twitch , your nostrils flooded with the scent of different bodily fuilds, weed and alcohol. "the smells here are awful." you scrunched your face up , the three of you made your way through the house. "you wanted to come , now deal with it."
you guys finally mad it to the kitchen , where you were greeted by renjun another fox hybrid , be was much more calmer than jaemin , and mark , another bunny hybrid like you. "y/n , they finally got you out of the house." mark pulled you into a friendly hug. "it wasn't us." chenle said. "it was jaemin." renjun turned to you. "since when did you know jaemin , you barely speak to me , let alone any other prey hybrids." you shrugged , not wanting to talk about it. "you know jaemin man , he has his way." mark said.
"let's get you three a drink." mark took you guys to the alcohol. "what do you guys want?" you looked around. "not too much little bunny." his husky voice filled your ears. "don't want you to get too crazy , especially with all these predator hybrids around." his scent wrapping around you like a hug. "look it's the man of the hour , where have you been." mark said. "probably fucking his third cat hybrid of the night." renjun sipped on his drink. "no i wasn't." he said , looking you directly in the eyes. "i was waiting for someone important to show up." your face once again heated up , was he talking about you?
"w-who?" jaemin smirked , you were so cute. your big round eyes , the way you looked up at him , ears constantly twitching in nervousness. and that dress — god that dress , he just wanted to rip it off , he wondered if your bushy little tail was sensitive , he knew bunny hybrids were sometimes really sensitive , maybe he could get you cum just by pulling- "jaemin." he quickly snapped out out if it , clearing his throat. "you alright bro , you spaced out?" mark said. "i'm fine , how about you guys go enjoy the party , y/n you want to stay here with me , i'll make you another drink?" you were speechless , earlier today you hardly knew jaemin , now he's asking you to stay with him.
"y/n ?" jisung said. "i'll be fine." you smiled. "yeah , sung don't worry , i'll take good of her." your body shivered , as he grabbed your shoulder. "haechan is over there , if you're wondering , your game is upstairs in his room." jisung got the hint. "i bet you he's played it , i'm gonna kill him, y/n if you need me call me." he quickly walked away. "well im not about to sit here and watch you two eye fuck all night , mark let's go." chenle pulled the boy away , renjun not even bothering to say anything , just walking away , leaving you all alone with the fox.
"you look really good." he poured you a drink. "take a sip." he put it to your lips. "drink it." you opened your mouth , letting the liquid flow down your throat. "good little bunny." you felt your panties getting even wetter. "th-thank you." not sure what you were even thanking him for. "did you get all pretty for me?" he took a sip of the drink , you bit your lip , nodding shyly. "don't act so shy now little bunny , you wanted my attention now you have it." he was now up on you , his pelvis pressed against your backside.
he dipped his head into your neck , you sweet scent making him want more , he wanted to ruin you , make you only want him , to only think of him. "you smell so fucking good little bunny." his sharp teeth grazing the vein of your neck. "i could just eat you up." now that should have made you scared seeing as he was a natrual born predator. but you could not help the gush of arousal that flooded your panties , or your fuzzy white tail twitching. "i can smell you little bunny , i know you want me." he whispered in your ear.
"can you feel how much i want you?" you bit your lip , trying not to whimper in the middle of his kitchen , in front of all these people , while he basically dry humped you , and he didn't feel small at all and he wasn't he fully hard. "don't you want to feel it inside you , come on let's go upstairs." he sat the drink down , grabbing your hand , you followed him , all the way up to his room.
"i've been waiting for this all day since i saw you , i knew i needed to have you." you guys barely made it to his room , before he started undressing you. "i could fucking smell you this afternoon at the lunch table , i wanted to sink my teeth into you right then and there." he purred , touching your tail , your whimpered , your tail twitching. "i knew it was sensitive , cute little tail."
"yo-you really are a sly fox." he laugh was deep , he kissed your neck , letting your dress fall to the ground. "am i , or are you just dumb little bunny who wanted to be fucked." you moaned. "oh?" he quirked his eyebrow. "you like that , being called a dumb little bunny who needs to be filled with a cock." he looked into your big eyes , the way they were glazed over. "you're so gone bunny." it was almost laughable at how quick he could get you like this.
"i don't give for free , you gotta do something for me." he took his pants off , sitting down on his bed. "get on your knees little bunny , crawl to me." you obey , sinking down on all fours , crawling to him. he watched you with low eyes , fishing his cock out , jerking himself off. he was huge , your mouth was salivating at the thought. "look at you , look how brightly your eyes lit up at my cock , come on my dumb little bunny , wrap your little hands around my cock."
you wrapped your hands around him , your hands barely touched as you jerked him off. "fu-fuck your little hands can barely jerk me off , lets see how much you can take in your mouth , put it in." he groaned , your relaxed your jaw before taking him , trying to fit as much as you could before you began to gag. "mmh~ fuck , little bunny i know you can take more , relax that throat." he coached you through , and slowly began to take him all the way. "i knew you could do it , my dumb little bunny just needed someone to teach her how to take cock." you gagged and gurgled around his cock , that didn't stop him though , he just pushed your head down. "oh fuck , fuck im gonna cum little bunny , gonna take it for me , be a good little cumslut." you moaned around his length , nodding. "sh-shit , take it , take my cum." your nose twitched against his pelvis , as his cum flooded your mouth , some of it dripping out. "fu-fuck such a mess." he lightly slapped your cheeks.
"messy bunny." he wiped your lips , pushing the cum past your lips. "come on be a good bunny , and sit on my cock." he sat back against the headboard , allowing you crawl on the bed , into his lap. "look at you so ready to ride my cock , go a head , sit on it." he slapped your ass , you yelped. "j-jaemin." you hovered above his cock , letting him stretch you out , as you slowly worked yourself on him. "b-big." you moaned , he bit his lip , your pussy was choking his cock , he's been with many girls , but none of them had him about to cum prematurely.
"sh-shit little bunny you better start fucking moving , before i take over and really spilt you open." he growled , grabbing your throat. "move." you tried to go faster , but your legs were burning just by you taking him. "i-i can't." you moaned , clenching around him , setting something off inside him. "such a dumb little bunny , can't do a simple thing right, gotta have someone do it for you." he planted his feet , fucking up into you. "oh my god!" you screamed.
he showed now mercy as he roughly hit your cervix, like he completely forgot about his party going on downstairs , the only thing on his mind was filling you up with his cum , his need to breed you , turn you into his braindead slut was strong. "j-jaemin too much." he laughed , straight up laughed in your face. "too much? dumb little bunny can't take my cock." he hit that spongy spot , that made your eyes roll back.
"that's it bunny , no need to think , i'll do that for you , just take my cock" he pulled at your tail. "wa-wait , m'gonna cum if you do that." you whined , he ignored your warning , repeating his actions. "i want you to , i want you to cum , let everyone here know who's making you feel like this." on his command you came , your cunt spasming around him.
"fuck , such a slut , letting a bad fox like me fuck you , gonna let me breed you little bunny , fill your pussy with my cum." he bounced you on his cock , chasing his orgasm. "pl-please , i want it." you moaned , he thrusted up into , his warm seed filling your waiting womb. "sh-shit." he pressed his nose against your neck. "sh-shit if you don't get off im gonna mark you right here." you clenched around him. "fuck little bunny , you really want me to fuck you dumb." he chuckled. "we have to go back to the party." he held you in his lap.
"i don't care about that party , i need to fill you up again , make sure my scent stays on you for days."
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drvscarlett · 20 days
Text
About You Pt4
Sebastian Vettel x Webber!Reader
Summary: Everyone knows about the history of Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber. But there's a well kept story within the paddock about Sebastian Vettel and another Webber. This is that story.
About You Series 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
A/N: took me a while to update but here it is! Let me know your thoughts about this
Taglist: @spideybv28@randomcuboidshape @mehrmonga @casperlikej @cliosunshine @honethatty12 @randomgirlnumber-13 @sugyomama @ririyulife @skywalker1dream @vicurious28 @cristianovettel
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2010, Bahrain International Circuit
Seb: Hey, did you already leave? Can we talk? Seb: Happy holidays Y/N, I hope you are spending time with the family Seb: Its a new year, I hope you get a better year. Seb: Aren't you going to pre-season testing? Seb: Hope to see you in Bahrain
Y/N sighed as she read the messages over and over again. It's quite an asshole move to leave Sebastian on read but Y/N couldn't bring herself to reply to the messages because she was hurt by their last conversation. The heavy feeling is even more aggravated because all she ever wanted was to hear a simple sorry from Sebastian.
Unfortunately, that's the only message that Sebastian hasn't sent.
"Are you still not talking with Sebastian?"Mark enters the room.
Mark knew that Sebastian and Y/N had a fallout after Abu Dhabi. At first, he was a bit clueless about what's happening but with Y/N constantly shutting herself in her room and Mark getting a glimpse of the one-sided conversation-it was difficult to ignore it.
The whole thing became even more hard to ignore when Sebastian resulted to texting Mark over the winter break to check on Y/N. Mark tried to ask Sebastian about what happened but Sebastian said that he just said some things that can make a friend feel hurt.
Bullshit, that's what Mark said in his mind. He knew that her sister won't be moping and act like this if its something as simple as that.
"I don't wanna talk about him" she grumbled.
"You know that you have to talk to him eventually"Mark ever the rational "He is our co-worker and we have to be professional in work."
It's something that Y/N knows. She knows that she will not place her professionalism in jeopardy but as much as she could she would delay talking to Sebastian. Her fear is that if she ends up forgiving Sebastian, without him asking for it, then this situation might repeat again.
"I won't let work interfere with Seb"Y/N assured.
There was a silence between the two Webbers. It was a comfortable silence where they seem to be using their siblings communication signals to determine if they should push the topic or not.
"He got pole position today, it might give Red Bull a fight for championship don't you think" Mark offered "Maybe you can talk to him like congratulate him for a conversation starter"
"I'm well-aware Mark, I have been watching the qualifying"
She was actually debating whether she would say a simple congrats knowing how proud Sebastian is with his pole. If this was last year, she would have been there at the parc femme. However, things aren't easy like that.
"You can talk to me about anything okay?" Mark reminded. Maybe at the back of Mark's head, he feels like there are more to this than just a petty friendship fight. But he didn't want to push her sister to being annoyed with his constant questions.
"I promise I will when the time is right."
"You know maybe if Sebastian loses the race then maybe you should see it as a sign to talk to him"Mark joked a bit to lighten the mood
"That's mean"Y/N playfully punched her brother "That's never going to happen he is on pole"
"Why not if he does not get a podium finish then you will talk to him"
"Are you seriously jinxing your team Mark?"Y/N laughed
"Okay, that's a deal"
"I tell you that its never gonna happen"Y/N assured.
And its like the universe played a cruel joke on Y/N, Sebastian did not have a podium finish. He still finished 4th but knowing Sebastian, the German driver is obviously frustrated.
Mark did not finish well but he has this knowing smirk on his face as he nudged his sister's ribs. Y/N resisted the urge to slap him at the back of his head since they were in front of a lot of Red Bull sponsors.
"Go on and talk to him" Mark whispered"I promise to behave here"
Y/N took a detour to the catering and grabbed an orange. She immediately went to Sebastian's driver room where she saw Britta exiting.
"Y/N, what are you doing here?" she quizzed the younger Webber "I thought you and Seb weren't in speaking terms"
"Well I think with what happened today then I have to check up on him"Y/N replies.
Britta could just hug Y/N because she knows that Sebastian was really in a terrible mood after losing out the podium. It would mean a lot for Y/N to speak to Sebastian before Britta could bring him back for media duties.
"I'll stall the media for a bit, I'm giving you 10 minutes okay?" BrItta informed
"Thanks B"
Y/N felt nervous whether how to start a conversation with Sebastian. She fiddles with the orange in her hand as she walked in the room to seek the German driver.
"Seb?"
Sitting in the corner of the room, Sebastian looked up. His eyes were red, obviously from crying, and his hair was in complete disarray.
"Y/N?" Sebastian was confused "You're here?"
"I figure you need an orange"
In essence, Y/N didn't want to brush things off like that. She didn't want to appear out of the blue and be friends with Sebastian again. But the moment that Sebastian hugged her, it all melted away. She thought of nothing else as she missed this.
Sebastian too was thinking of the same thing. He wanted to apologize in person and he wanted to do it right now. However, he didn't want to ruin the moment. He just got her back.
Somehow its both of their fault that they brush off things like that.
2010, Albert Park
Sebastian, Mark, and Y/N arrived in Australia a couple of days before the race so as tradition goes Sebastian was once again a guest to Webber's family dinners. Sebastian feels at home with the family and even helped with the dinner preparations.
"Where's Y/N" Mr. Webber asked
"Y/N went to the market to buy some lemons that mum needs" Mark informed "She should have been here an hour ago"
"Should I give her a call?" Sebastian asked
Like a perfect cue, the door opens revealing Y/N.
"I'm sorry I'm late, I got a little bit of a car problem and its a good thing that I got someone to help me. "Y/N greeted "I hope you don't mind setting up another plate for dinner"
Of course, no one minded. The table was big enough to add guests. Sebastian was bringing the plates to the dining room when he was surprised to see Jenson Button standing there.
"What are you doing here" Sebastian was quick to ask
"Jenson is the one that helped me fix my car, thank God for drivers right?" Y/N replies
This annoyed Sebastian greatly but he knows that he cannot let his emotions get the best of him. He remembered how he acted the last time in Abu Dhabi and he surely doesn't want a repeat of that. It's just so annoying that Jenson Button is always at the scene of the crime when it comes to Y/N.
"Jenson?" Mark was also confused "You are in Australia early"
"Got an early flight, I was touring around and then I saw Y/N" Jenson smiles.
Knowing the previous history of Y/N and Jenson, Mark was also very skeptical. The seating arrangement ended up with Y/N between Mark and Sebastian while Jenson is sitting across Sebastian.
Dinner went on great, the dishes were great, but Sebastian could not shake this horrible feeling in his stomach. He hated how Jenson was mingling well and joking around with the whole family. Jenson had a way with Mrs. Webber, complimenting her food and the homey space decorations.
Still, Sebastian tried to push the green monster of envy away.
"Jenson, didn't you date my daughter Y/N before?" Mr. Webber remembered
"DAD"Y/N and Mark immediately hissed
"What, I'm just curious that's all" the eldest Webber defended
Jenson had a boyish smirk gracing his face and Sebastian wanted to punch that smirk on his face. He knew that if he didn't punch Jenson then Mark would.
"Well we went on a date for one time but that's it were good friends" Jenson explained
"But why Y/N, Jenson seems like a good lad plus he is a world champion" Mrs Webber butted in.
She seems to have grown fond of the British driver in such a short span of time. Her fondness is a stark contrast to the irritation that Sebastian has been feeling.
"Me and Jense are cool as friends, right?" Y/N cleared out
"Well if you wanna go on a date again, I wouldn't mind"Jensen jokingly stated.
Jealousy is a disease that Sebastian Vettel is inflicted with. Maybe its because Jenson already has two things that he really wanted which is a championship and a date with the girl he really liked. But whatever Sebastian was feeling, he kept it at bay for the sake of peace.
Anyways, he can run over Jenson on track.
2010, Sepang International Circuit
Y/N has to say that this is a very difficult start of the season for Red Bull. Mark and Sebastian went on winning poles yet they haven't won during the actual races. To say that she was ecstatic to see the Red Bull P1-P2 for today's race is not enough to describe how she is feeling.
Looking up at the podium and seeing the two drivers smiling at each other, Y/N took that opportunity to snap a photo of them. She prayed for more weekends like this as both drivers deserve this kind of victories.
Once the celebration ended, she went back to the motorhome to get her things and to meet up with the two drivers. However, she saw a group of Red Bull crew huddled up in a corner.
It was not her business to eavesdrop but hearing her brother's name being mentioned, she stayed hidden to hear what they have to say.
"Mark is an unfortunate case, he could have won today" one of them voiced out "He was at fault for losing his pole advantage a while ago"
"True and Vettel is obviously a better driver, look at him creating history and he just started last year"another mechanic agreed.
"I heard from Helmut that Vettel will be there championship bet"
"What happens to Mark then?"
"He will settle being a second driver and defending Sebastian obviously"
"Do you think Mark would agree?"
"If I were Mark, I would look for another team. There is no chance for a championship here if my teammate is obviously better than me"
All the highs that she has been feeling a while ago has faded into nothingness. Y/N felt herself conflicted with the situation ahead. If what they are saying is true then Y/N would be the one that will be in the middle of that battlefield.
This is Mark's dream for so long to win a championship. He have done his best to improve himself, she has seen the sleepless nights he had and how hard he tries to get a podium win every single race.
On the other hand, Y/N has also seen Sebastian's tears whenever he failed to finish or deliver. She knows that Sebastian lives and breathe racing for as long as he can remember. He wanted a championship badly as well.
It is just unfair that one of them has to compromise for the team. There shouldn't be a first driver or second driver but Y/N understands that every team had this. She felt miserable as she remembered hearing what happened to Rubens when he was the second driver to Michael Schumacher. She didn't want anyone to feel that way, ever.
"Y/N! Hello earth to Y/N"
In her deep thoughts, she haven't noticed that Mark and Sebastian was in front of her. Both were still in their race gear and the champagne smell wafts through the air.
"Oh, I didn't see you there Mark and Seb" Y/N emphasized loudly on their last name so that those gossip crew would be aware that the two are around.
"You're acting weird, we have been calling you for a long time already." Mark confusedly stated.
"Never mind about that, I just got a lot of things going on" Y/N assured
"Hey Nico invited us for dinner, let's celebrate?" Sebastian asked
"Sure, sure"
The two Red Bull drivers are laughing and joking around as they walked around with Y/N. Y/N tried to smile and join them but there was something that has been bugging her head.
In the end, she will put that conversation she heard of in the back of her head. She prays that it never happens because if she will be forced to choose sides, she didn't want to do that.
2010, Monte Carlo Circuit
Sebastian remembered how last year, Y/N has been a bit sick during Monaco so she was unable to do a yacht trip. Mark kept on sending her photos. It was meant to be a good gesture and to let her know that he misses her but it only made Y/N a lot more upset. She ended up texting Sebastian and whining about how that stupid stomach bug made her miss out this golden opportunity.
Yacht trips and the lavish life of Monaco is certainly not Sebastian's style. This is why it is common that he would be the last person to go to Monaco and the first one to leave. So just imagine everyone's surprise when he was in Monaco 3 days early for race week and he was going around looking for yacht trips.
It comes even more of a surprise when Y/N Webber has also been spotted in Monaco quite early for the race. No Mark Webber in sight though which raises everyone's eyebrows.
"So care to explain to me what are we doing?" Y/N asked.
She was dying of curiosity ever since Sebastian asked her to come early to Monaco. It was rare that Sebastian was so secretive because he will normally blabber everything to her.
"I'm not telling you until we get there" comes Sebastian's teasing comment.
"Oh c'mon I flew all over the world to see you"
"It's worth it, I promise"
Sebastian drove around Monaco and finally reaching the docks. He can feel that Y/N has the gears in her head already turning. There was an excited look on her face when she realized what they are about to do.
"Sebastian Vettel, tell me you did not!"Y/N tried to control her excitement "Are we really going on a yacht trip?"
"Well its your birthday week so I figure you might need a tour around Monaco on a yacht"Sebastian's nonchalant answer caused Y/N to scream.
It was a dream come true for Y/N. She had been dreaming of going around Monaco on a yacht for so long but her duties as Mark's assistants coupled by several unfortunate events prevented her from doing that dream.
Sebastian led her to the yacht and the two set off for an entire day of the yacht experience. Y/N wouldn't know but Sebastian specifically learned how to yacht for this purpose and this purpose only. He also called Mrs. Webber to ask for Y/N's favorite dishes so he has them prepared for lunch and dinner.
The whole day was spent floating around Monaco. They took a swim at one point and now they are lounging at the front while waiting for the sun to set.
"This is really a lot of effort Seb, thank you" Y/N began "I really appreciate this whole day"
If only Sebastian could tell her that he should be the one thanking her. Seeing her happy makes him extremely happy.
"It's nothing much" that's how Sebastian managed to answer
Y/N rolls her eyes, she sees right through that lie. Maybe for Sebastian this is nothing much but for her who doesn't earn as much as an F1 driver then this is really a lot.
"Oh before I forget, I still have one gift left" Sebastian said "Here you go"
It was a small black box with a gold ribbon. There was a scrawl on it in Sebastian's handwriting saying happy birthday Y/N. It made the girl raise her eyebrows.
"Seb I can't accept this, this seems really pricey"
Y/N got that right. Sebastian spent a long time looking for this gift since he customized it and it took a while for it to be created. But of course, Sebastian won't admit to that.
"Just take it" Seb pushed the gift back to her.
"I'm scared to open it" she whines
"Okay what if you don't open it and then I'll just hand it to you" Sebastian suggested "That way then you can't give it back"
"Got it, should I close my eyes to prepare myself"
"Go ahead"
Its so cliche for the two of them as it looks like it was taken from a movie scene. Sebastian unwrapped the gift and took the necklace out of the velvet pouch. It shimmers against the setting sun as he placed the necklace gently on her hand.
"You can open your eyes now" Sebastian said
Y/N lets out a soft gasp upon opening her eyes. It was a silver chained blue diamond necklace. There was some eerie similarities with the heart of the ocean necklace from titanic but this one is like the less flashier version. Sebastian have heard multiple stories back in the Webber household how Y/N absolutely loved Titanic as a little kid and Sebastian couldn't think of anything more iconic as gifting her a very own version of the heart of the ocean.
"Seb, you're making me cry. This is too beautiful" Y/N muttered in awe.
"I always see you fiddling with your necklace when you are nervous especially when someone crashed or its a wet race" Sebastian explained "I hope this can help assure you that everything will be alright"
Y/N felt speechless and she could feel the utter care that was placed in this gift. So what she does next is remove the necklace hanging on her neck.
"What's this?" it was now his turn to be puzzled.
"Well I can't wear this necklace and that at the same time" Y/N reasoned "So I'm giving you my necklace. Its my star sign, taurus which is represented by a bull so red bull"
Sebastian looked at the necklace in his hand. He felt very grateful and it seems like a charm for him to carry to his races.
"Thank you"
There was so much more that Sebastian wanted to say but he couldn't ruin this moment. He was happy to make her happy even if its just a friend.
Soon, he tells himself.
If he wins in Monaco then he would gather all his courage to ask her out. He will give everything for this race this weekend so he can finally stop this dilly-dallying. He gives out a silent wish to the universe that they make his wish come true.
News flash, Sebastian didn't win the Monaco GP 2010.
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yanderes-galore · 1 month
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May I request yandere Gojo Satoru with Civillian! Darling? Thank you for your hard work! ^^
I can try, sure! First time writing Gojo and things may be off as I'm not that far into the series yet (I got distracted by other series... oops-). Hope you enjoy though :)
Yandere! Satoru Gojo with Civilian! Darling
Pairing: Romantic/Platonic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Manipulation, Stalking, Clingy behavior mentioned, Fear of loss, Dubious companionship/relationship.
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Gojo most likely wouldn't get involved with civilians often.
He constantly surrounds himself with Jujutsu Sorcerers and strength.
He doesn't typically stick around the weak often.
However... Gojo may like someone who doesn't always expect something from him as a Sorcerer all the time.
Gojo is a complex character with all sorts of emotions.
Yet, I feel Gojo would never show his true emotions to a civilian darling.
He can't fully relate to you, always having high expectations and strength ever since he was young.
The closest one he could relate to was Geto.
Gojo is a very lonely person due to being unable to make close emotional connections... even with allies.
He doesn't like people close to him.
Which is why it's odd when Gojo shows such an interest in a mere civilian.
He's a man who has seen and faced death, one who feels the world is being held up by him.
Yet you are someone completely unaware of the dangers of Curses... so devoid of the stresses he has.
Gojo can't relate to you but he feels a need for you.
It's not like he can train you or teach you about Curses... you don't have it in you.
Yet there's something about the way you speak to him in such a casual manner that drives him... crazy?
He no doubt met you by chance, buying something for his students before coming across you.
Gojo would probably feel a need to protect a civilian darling.
You're so oblivious... conversing with him as though he's just another person on the street.
Gojo has the usual goofy personality, coming off as playful with you.
Your laugh sounds heavenly and you just seem so...
Vulnerable.
The thought actually hurts him a bit.
Vulnerability... something he despises.
Vulnerability is a curse he used to endure... back when...
Gojo tries not to think of such a thought when speaking with you.
It would take time for Gojo to get used to you.
What disturbs him is how easy you could be harmed.
He's scared to get close to you as you could be targeted.
He doesn't want to lose anyone else...
Yet he can't keep himself away from you.
Fighting his obsession and logical thinking, Gojo may eventually come to one conclusion.
If he can't part from you... and he doesn't want you hurt... he will just keep you from leaving his sight.
This leaves to Gojo stalking you, always seeming near you, and perhaps even appearing clingy at times.
It's hard to get Gojo attached in the first place, if you do then he's intense.
This is the reason he didn't want to be close.
He was scared to get attached and lose you.
But... can't fix that now, right?
The good thing is Gojo will keep you safe, right?
He's untouchable by most... so if you were threatened he could easily defend you.
Associating with such a man is a dangerous game.
You poor thing did it without trying.
Now Gojo doesn't plan to leave you alone, you're in too deep.
He'll be your friend, or something more depending on how you feel about him...
Most importantly he'll be a guardian... your protector...
He won't mess up protecting the one he cares about this time.
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yandereaffections · 11 months
Note
Great to see you back! Could I request general yandere headcanons for Wally Darling? Can be either platonic or romantic. Thank you
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The neighborhood has never seen Wally so fixated on a person before, not I'm such a similar way to how he treats items he admires like apples and painting. Whether you're apart of the town or someone who just managed to get lost enough to find themselves in this colorful place, you will feel his eyes on you whenever eye contact is accidentally made, trying to get more of your direct gaze.
Despite how it might seem with how Wally lurks around every corner, eyes never blinking with a natural if not nervous smile on his face, he is in no way a threat. You've been introduced to him via a friendly neighborhood welcome wagon for your first day living here, all of the nine residents were awfully kind yet wally was rather reserved. Everyone can tell his curiosity peeked during that gathering, Julie and Barnaby tried their best to encourage him to simply join them in a conversation with you but even then the only thing that came out his fleece mouth were a couple of awkward "Ha"'s and a few head nods. That was the day he felt the joy of holding your gaze, seeing the beauty in your eyes and never wanting to break it.
Wally may not be able to move his feet in your direction with the intent of introducing himself, out of fear that he won't be able to speak the words in his head and end up walking up to someone so gorgeous just to stare them down. However if it's you that comes up to him with a polite smile asking why he's been following you around, all the limitations in his head release it's hold on him
The moment Wally retreats into Home after stringing together words that used to struggle to leave his throat, apologizing to his newest neighbor and properly introducing himself, he can feel his heart beat against his chest while letting himself lean slack against Homes front door. The floorboards lift his arm chair in the center of the living room repeatedly, Home insisting Wally sit down as his cheeks turn red thinking of how your expression switched so quickly to a smile when he finally spoke to you.
With a hand pressed along the side of his face Wally sinks into his iconic chair, being to share all the details of his interaction with you to Home who's curtains sway every so often in response clearly as excited in wallys progression in relationship with their new favorite person
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purpleberiii · 2 months
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"My dear soulmate"
☆Prompt: In which the Adjutant refuses to acknowledge the soul mate mark shared by you and her. After the mark was removed, Adjutant realised that she needed you but it was too late.
☆Warnings: Angst, Slight comfort at the end with another sinner, reader being a sinner.
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It wasn't planned nor was it expected. The hardworking, strict Adjutant bearing a mark similar to that of a dangerous sinner. One whom she depised with all her heart; though sometimes her heart tells her things she doesn't like to hear.
If she could have a chance to pick another soulmate she would but god not you. Anyone but you. Why did she despise you this much? WS it because you are a sinner? Or is it because she cannot be seen with such a person?
Either way, Nightingale made it her duty to turn you down everytime you attempted to talk to her. Poor you just wanted to connect to your soulmate but she had different plans.
Your personality was kind, gentle and caring; things that a sinner wasn't expected to have. Such personality could only be owned by angels and not demons like you.
Everyone inside the Bureau knew about the mark and despite the fear Nightingale had that they would judge her, they didn't. She heard numerous times from different persons that a soulmate is the most wonderful thing, to which she'd only scoffed and walk away.
Every morning when the Adjutant comes to your cell, you'd sit by peacefully with a smile on your face, trying to start up a conversation, offering compliments everytime you saw her. On Valentines, you even went out of your way to buy tons of chocolates and flowers, even a big Teddy bear.
She of course, threw it all away, and unbeknownst to her, you witnessed the way she kicked open the bin and poured every chocolate and flowers, but she didn't throw away the Teddy. Though she acted heartless, in the back of her mind thought it was cute but her neglecting out weighed her acceptance.
She found herself doing things that she didn't even realise, she never thought she'd acted that way. Even the Chief at some point told her that she's disappointed with the way she acted and to have her beloved Cheif being disappointed, it was like a nightmare.
She blamed you. Though she didn't have a valid reason, she did. And through her hate, she sent you on an expedition, one that she was well aware of that it was dangerous to an extent that even the Chief was prohibited from going. Part of her wanted to cancel your mission but the other part still sent you.
When you came back all bloodied and barely making it to the doors of the Bureau, Nightingale watched it horror as an oxygen mask was hurriedly placed and you were quickly rushed to the hospital. In a state of shock, she sat motionless in her office of an hour until the Chief came in, an angry expression written on her face.
"You knew it was dangerous! Why did you send her?!"
"..." No words came out of her mouth.
"I'm very disappointed in you! Be it whether you're the leader of the Nineth Agency or my Adjutant, my sinners' health comes first and I won't tolerate anyone who jeopardises that. You're suspended for a month Nightingale and until you can get your mind set straight, I suggest you don't contact me or y/n."
Those words hit the Adjutant like a knife and in a slow and steady motion she packed up her things and left. Whispers could be heard from everyone as she passed by.
In that same night, she had a strange voice talk to her in her sleep. Though the voice was gentle, an unhinged tone it portrayed. "You defied the rules of fate for you had neglected the one true mate given to yourself. You will be free from her, but you shall never find another one who will treat you the same."
In a daze of fear she woke up, sweating and trembling. The atmosphere felt heavy and she huddled up in her covers and weeped.
While you were in the hospital, laying unconscious on the bed with machines hooked around you, a strange voice spoke you to as well. "My child, you have been neglected by your one true mate. Fate had not planned that for you but, you shall be free of your mark and of the pain and agony you felt with your previous mate. You will now be free to choose whomever you wish to be with." A hand stroked your head and you were awakened by the touch. It felt like an angel had touched you.
You woke up to find Hamel by your bed side, a gentle yet concerned look on her face. "You're finally awake. How are you feeling?" You stared at Hamel in a daze and felt a burning sensation. As you looked, you saw your mark being faded away slowly and Nightingale's face flashed once more in your mind. Thus the relationship between you and Hamel began.
When Nightingale returned to work, she immediately looked for you. She spotted you in the hallway, making your way back to your cell. She made it in time to grab your hand and throw her body into your arms, sobbing loudly. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please forgive me! Please..."
You just pushed her off you and she slid down the floor, tears pouring out of her eyes like a waterfall. When her eyes met the sight of your hugging Hamel, she knew she was done for. She didn't see the mark on you but her marked was still present.
It was her punishment from Fate. As the mark will still be present, she will be without a mate for all of her life and if she falls in love, the person shall never return her love.
"My dear soulmate. I'm sorry..."
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adventuringblind · 2 months
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Monsters in my Mind
Max Verstappen x Reader
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Summary: Sometimes those thoughts won't leave, the ones you don't want... The ones that can be dangerous. All it takes is one person to help make them go away.
Warnings: Intrusive thoughts, referenced/implied self-harm, violent thoughts, impulsive behaviors, panic attacks, non-sexual dominance as a form of coping, dom/sub undertones
Notes: My thoughts are self stabby as of late. Pardon me as I write this for myself to keep my head and hands busy.
Side Note: Consider feeding my praise kink maybe...?
Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi
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The head is a strange place. One's conscious is usually meant to help them make the right decisions and not engage in acts that could hurt them or others. Her head, however, is the opposite of that.
It's a dark twisted place where thoughts that aren't her own find refuge. They want to bathe her in the ecstasy of things that shouldn't feel good. daydreams about things that could repulse any typical human being.
Sometimes they are so strong and her bodies reactions are so out of control, that she has to find relief somewhere. The knife against her skin takes the edge off. Is it normal to moan at the sting and feel satisfied looking at her red stained thighs? She does, until the realization settles in and the guilt won't let her think.
The thoughts laugh at her for giving in so easily. They scrutinize the fact she gets off on the pain.
She walks around in fear of herself. The anxiety and exhaustion from constantly fighting herself are visible on her body. She's tired, and everyone knows it. It's why they don't come near her. Always to caught up in her own head to realize people are trying converse.
It's not like her job requires to much discussion with people. Puzzles keep her brain busy and Ferrari keeps her busy with all the strategy mishaps they throw at her. They throw her a problem, she solves it, plans for next time, and they fuck it up again by not using the solution.
Sometimes she thinks about throwing herself in front of an F1 car going full speed. That voice in her head screams at her anytime she's close to the live track.
Then there is Max. His voice sends the thoughts running and it makes her want to cling to him. She wants him to never stop talking about anything and everything.
Today had been particularly difficult with the of the driver switch coming at the end of the season. Carlos and Charles are the first drivers she's worked with and they all got along great. She doesn't want it to change. That means more unknowns.
The wind graces her cheeks and kisses her finger tips as she sits on the balcony of their apartment. Everything is to much right now and her thoughts won't quiet.
She was in Maranello when the news came out. Her head became so loud with the fear of change and worry for her friend. Enough to be sent home for the day - alone, and nothing to help her head aside from the burning desire to just end it all.
Max had made arraignments for her to spend some time with him in the Milton-Keynes. She was still alone for periods of time. Enough to have to settle herself somehow.
The color red makes something in her relax. Specifically when it's flowing out of her own body.
Now Max is with her and she's stuck in her own head. The never ending maze of twisted thoughts keeps her from moving. The fear of giving in has been looming over her head for longer then normal. It feels like she's losing something, always has been with this team, but change feels far worse then staying with them.
Max hasn't pushed her to do much aside from at least stay in his presence. Occasionally attempting to get her out of her own head with movies and games. He's even spent hours at a time just talking to her about anything and everything.
He opens the door to the balcony, but she doesn't look at him. Not until he holds his hand out for her to take. An action she does without hesitation. No thoughts are needed for this, just following Max's lead.
He leads her over to the couch and arranges them so she can sit tucked into his lap. A grounding hand runs up and down the lenght of her spine. "I've been doing some research about how we might be able to get your head to quiet down."
"I'll do anything, jus' want it to stop." Her voice sounds dry and cracked from how hard she's screamed and cried through the last few days.
"Do you trust me?"
"More then I trust anyone."
She finds herself slipping off the couch and onto her knees, in-between Max's legs with her head resting against his thigh. His touch doesn't leave her skin. "You're doing so good for me. Listen to my voice and focus on taking big breathes for me. Can you do that for me?"
She hums in response. The continual stroke of Max's fingers against her face and sound of his voice already helping immensely.
"That's it, just breathe for me. I've got you; you don't have to fight the thoughts alone. I'm right here with you, keeping them away, never leaving your side." Max grabs one of her hands with his free one. her fingers lay between his. Her favorite puzzle with how easy the pieces fit together.
"You're here with me; I've got you. Those scary thoughts aren't your own. The are unwanted and uninvited, but most importantly, they don't define you. You are brave, loved, beautiful without gaping wounds. You're not crazy or psychotic. You are yourself, with your highs and your lows."
Her body has never felt like this. Her entire being wants to give itself over to Max. His breathes guiding her own, his gentle yet firm hold on her keeping her where he wants.
She lets herself fall under his spell. If Max can take the control away from her, make her complaint and relaxed like this, then he can have her thoughts too.
"That's it, such a good girl, let me think for you. I won't leave you to fight or flounder on your own."
She follows Max's directions, lets him guide her in this place of trust and letting go of things. He's turning her brain off and letting her float without any kind of worries except what Max is telling her to do.
Until all she can think of is him. The calm the comes with his presence and the way his voice falls over her like a soft blanket. Max is all she knows, occupying every crevice of her mind and leaving no room for anything else to creep in.
"How're you feeling, geliefd?" There is a lightness to his tone that makes her swoon.
She hums against his leg. "Warm, fuzzy, head empty."
"Then you stay here as long as you need, okay? I'll keep you safe."
And she does.
She falls into the warm embrace of Max's words. She lets him protect her and keep the dark ugly thoughts away.
With Max, her head is quiet. The voices can't come though. When they do, he's there to fight them back.
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viburnt · 4 months
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Divorcing Izuku Midoriya Headcanons
I'm on a creative rush, and this may make zero sense because I'm tired lmao. Anyways, have some angst <3
Tagging the babes: @doumadono @shonen-brainrot @trickster-kat @angelshimaa (babe, you've missed some very angsty posts) @xhieru @mimisxs @dabislittlemouse
Content Warning: Divorce, emotional abuse and manipulation, mention of baby-trapping, alcohol.
• As I said in my last post, divorcing Izuku is a nightmare. Think about the most energy-draining and mental health deteriorating process, and multiply it for a minimum of 6 months. Izuku won't make things easy for you at all, trying to drag and prolong the whole ordeal just to keep you close. I've divided this set of headcanons by key moments/topics to keep some order. I hope you enjoy them, I'm pouring my heart on these (also pay attention to detail because I'm working on something hehe).
Denial and confusion: the first days after you serve him papers
• Izuku genuinely doesn't understand why you want to leave, refusing to accept the fact that you're not happy being by his side. He's given you all there is to give: a comfortable house, nice clothes, expensive cars, etc. So when you serve him papers, Izuku's first reaction is confusion followed by fear. In that head of his, he's made everything a good husband has to do! So why? Why would you not be happy?
• If you were smart enough and planned your movements with care, you should be able to go through your divorce without depending financially on Izuku or having to live in the same place. You'd have to deal with his incessant calls and texts, often having to block unknown numbers to avoid hearing his whines, but it'd be less difficult. If you weren't thoughtful about the situation and proceeded without the right steps, oh, you're in for a treat: there's nowhere you can go besides the house you shared with him, no place where you can be at peace. You're at Izuku's mercy, like it or not, but that's another story.
• In addition to his denial, Izuku starts to (unconsciously) guilt trip you. Phrases like "Sorry for not being enough," and "I know I'm very pathetic" become frequent. It pains your heart to hear those things because you know Izuku loves you, you are just not compatible at all. You try to let him see it's not about being enough, it's more about effort; with much patience, you set things clear to avoid any misunderstandings, but Izuku just doesn't get it.
• "Haven't I done this or that for you? Didn't I buy you all these things? Am I not enough?" "Izuku, I didn't ask you for any of this, all I wanted was my husband..." Conversations like this occur during this phase, and they can only be held through the phone (when he is sober and not yelling/hollering how much of a mistake a divorce would be). He tries to gauge sympathy from you, telling you that his job is important but that he loves you so much!
• He becomes an empty shell of the bright ray of sunshine the public knew. It goes unnoticed by many, but the people who work around him can tell. It is then when he starts telling others about his marital situation, and you end up seeing faces you've met once or twice during galas or hero events. You "accidentally" stumble across your husband's colleagues, like Ochako, who try to convince you to give him a second chance. "I- I know we don't know each other a lot but please, consider it. Izuku is a great guy a-and I'm sure you guys could fix any problem!" It is embarrassing for you because no one wants people to know their issues.
• What's so ironic about the moment when you serve him papers is that he receives them at his office, the very root of all the problems in your marriage. It was the place where he had spent anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine's... those four walls witnessed the beginning and the end of your relationship. Izuku has a mental breakdown when he finally reads the documents but, hey, he was still pro-hero Deku, right?
Negotiations and lawyers: The first weeks and months
• If having to deal with Izuku's colleagues trying to change your mind wasn't enough, be ready for your soon-to-be ex trying to negotiate. Midoriya suggests couple's therapy to talk this through, and for a split of second, it almost sounds like a good idea! But then you remember all those times when Izuku had promised you he'd be there for you and failed. It didn't seem plausible after that... Besides, all things considered, it'd be hard to find a therapist who could see your side of the story. Who would dare to tell someone as charming and popular as Izuku that he failed as a husband?
• Once therapy is off the table, Izuku brings up children. It may be considered a low blow, especially if one of your dreams was to form a family with him, so his offer felt cruel. "W-we can have kids! Wouldn't you want that? We can be a big family, with one- No, two babies!" "Ouch, it takes a divorce for you to even think about it, huh? That's uh, slightly concerning. Besides, a kid needs a father too... I'm not planning on being a single mom in this marriage" Now, Izuku strikes me as the kind that would try to . to stay. I'm sorry if it sounds terrible, but considering how sometimes he acts on impulse, he really could try it.
• Izuku also tries to be at home more often; he "cooks" (it's takeout disguised as home meals), brings you coffee to the bed, and calls you all kinds of sappy nicknames... It saddens you, why couldn't he care like that before? Of course, this point only applies if you still live with him during this whole process. If you don't, he starts frequenting the places where he guessed could find you: cafeterias, plazas, shops...
• Finding a lawyer for you was a hard task, especially because everyone sees you as a "dumb" woman who is trying to divorce Japan's number one hero. Not to mention they were very expensive, and Izuku was certainly not giving you money for that. You tell Izuku that mediations need to happen to progress with the divorce, but he never shows up to the meetings. There's always an excuse for that man! No matter how much you plea, he refuses to sign the paper. Izuku also becomes very mean towards you, outright berating you for not understanding him. It's gruesome to see him turn into such a monster during these months.
• As an additional point for this part, Izuku hires a private investigator to follow you around. He feels bad for thinking of it, but the idea that you could be seeing someone else while you're trying to divorce him eats him alive.
Last resort: Mediatic battle
• The media is very quick to pick up your marriage's fall down. Time after time you visited your lawyer's office for them to put two and two together, and Izuku takes that to his advantage. Sensationalist articles had already been happening, a lot of them being cruel and demeaning towards you. Titles like "Is she a cheater?" "No amount of success gives you the girl!" And "Pro-hero Deku will be looking for a new wife soon" started popping up. You have to take down any social platform to avoid being targeted.
• It is when Izuku gives a public declaration that things get worse. "I'm sorry, my wife is just not happy with me anymore. Please respect her wish! Don't harass her, I failed as a husband." It may seem like a hearty and sorrowful declaration from the outside, but Izuku picked word by word to gain sympathy and pressure you into changing your mind. People in the street call you "heartless", and the stress simply keeps growing for you.
• To put it in simple words, you were David against Goliath, except Goliath was a glorified person who had all the resources and support of the people. You were nothing but a tiny mouse squeaking to be set free of a relationship that was suffocating you.
The aftermath: Supposing you haven't given up and he signed the divorce papers
• If you somehow manage to divorce him after all these problems, congratulations. You survived 5% of the drama that awaits you! Now you won't be able to date someone without people snapping photos for entertainment news or judging you for leaving "such a great man". Izuku will still try to convince you to go back to him, playing his "sad lover" role in front of the cameras so well! He'll try to send expensive gifts and tell you to keep the house, he'll call you drunk in the middle of the night, and if you're not careful enough, he may try to gaslight you into thinking nothing wrong was happening in your marriage.
• One particular thing I must mention is that Izuku only signed the papers after you yelled at him at one of the legal mediations, hot embarrassment tears falling from your tired eyes as you begged him to let you go.
• Anyways, the list could go on, but those are the main points of divorcing Izuku :')
"Please, just sign the papers..." You said through the phone, your voice tired of pleading to someone who simply refused to hear you. "I will, I will! I'm just a little under the snow with work. Can you reschedule?" Izuku said, apologizing for not being there for you. Excusing himself for failing you, but refusing to let go. "You know how many articles I've seen with my face saying how much of bitch I am for visiting my lawyer's office?"
Izuku's silence was deafening, you could only hear him sigh slightly, perhaps feeling bad for putting you in such a position. "I don't want this divorce."
"But I do, so don't make things more difficult for me, please." He heard you say, biting his lip to hold back the tears. Izuku was glad you couldn't see him, sitting alone in his office with a half-empty bottle of wine you'd gifted him for his birthday. "Do you remember what day is today?" He asked.
"I don't know, Monday? I haven't slept lately." You answered unamused. "It's our anniversary... we married 5 years ago, on this very day." His words came out as a slow slur, his breath hitching as he crumbled through the phone. "I miss you a lot, please-"
"I'll see you on Wednesday, if you're not there I swear to God..."
...
"Mr. Midoriya?" Your lawyer called, her voice bringing your anxious husband back to reality. "Ah, sorry, it's me. Is... is she in there?" He asked, pointing at her office. She just looked at him with little sympathy and nodded. "On time, as always. Maybe you should avoid keeping her waiting, that's the least you could considering how many times we've had these conversations."
"There's no way I can fix this, is there?" Izuku asked as if the lawyer cared. "Wanna do something nice for her? Divorce her."
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sickuma · 10 months
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SILLAGE — a Simon Riley fic. 1/2
❱ This is the au i wrote on tiktok captioned "he realized he wanted to stay too late" this will have two parts! I've been making a lot of ghost fics lately LMAO and I'm sorry if the plots are consistently angst, it's what I like doing the most. This one though is a little heavier than most of what I've written, definitely has some personal linking to it with my experience :)
ꜝ? Warning. . this is a heavy angst fic, mentions of suicide and acts of committing, if that is something that triggers bad emotions, please exit the fic.
paring is Ghost x Reader this is unedited! mistakes such as spelling and grammatical errors are to be expected !
! if you are going through something heavy right now, please seek someone you trust and you are able to talk to about your emotions, nobody should have to go through their troubles alone, you're loved<3 My messages are open if you need a stranger to listen :)
Part 2 (^_^;)
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SILLAGE — (n.) The scent that lingers in air, the trail left in water, the impression made in space after something or someone has been and gone; the trace of someones perfume.
"The deployment takes place soon."
He mumbles, without turning to face you. Occupied by packing up the things he'll need for this mission and more,
He was packing everything.
"Do not wait for me [name]."
"What does that mean?" You ask, a look of indifference plastered on your face. It wasn't necessarily the first time this conversation has been held. 
Though it is the first time you're not opposing. For the entirety of that 7 months you're together, fights happened, arguments would sprung. Yet you find yourselves back into each other's arms within a week,
It was a tiring cycle. Something you knew was unhealthy for the both of you, especially with your deteriorating well-being which he has no waking idea about. You've never brought light to it.
It was an ugly part of you, something you despised.
Something you won't ever show him yourself.
With a short sigh, he stood straight, hands propped on his forehead indicating his rising stress. "I can't, we can't."
"I can't let this go on longer.
You kept quiet, awaiting for him to speak more, to tell more of his worries you're evidently familiar with. It was something you've grown aware of,
His fear of abandoning you,
His fear of dying on the field while you wait aimlessly for him.
"This is for the better [name]." Cowardly, is what you would have described this. But you are in no place to be speaking of such as you're also deep into your own hell of mental instability.
For a lot of times this argument has happened, it was the first time you are not tearing up. Asking him to stop spewing nonsense and convincing him to stay.
Why did you keep doing that? You wondered. Now you finally have the answer. 
It's the fear,
Fear of your darkness once he's far from you, far from your heart. He was completely unaware of how he'd changed you temporarily, how your sleeping heart awoke with just the sound of his voice.
For the longest time you have not felt anything close to what he made you feel; for the first time you are able to feel. And the thought of that suddenly being taken away from you made your body tremble.
But this time you stood firmly,
He was right. This can't go on forever,
You two may have different reasons for saying such but what mutual fact was that it was true. Staying with each other will only drive you to madness.
With his fear of attachment, and your fear of abandonment. It was bound to fail.
You were already planning on cutting ties even before he brought this up once again; you knew you can't stay. Not any longer,
Not when this void plagued you like a curse.
The air was thick and dire, your lack of response threw him over the edge. It was unpleasant. He had expected you to do the same, to react the same, to stop him.
To fight for him like you always have,
But you're no longer capable of doing that. If you can't fight for your own will to live, how does he expect you to fight for this wilting relationship?
You hated it. Feeling helpless.
But you're certain it's the right thing, tonight, you'll finally do it. Like you always planned.
"I see."
Simon felt conflicted, your short answers and your lack of expression, it gave him a strange gut feeling. This sudden gut decision to stay and make sure everything's okay,
He can't.
He needs to go, one way or another. He's doing this in regards to you, and the safety of your feelings.
If only he'd know you're incapable of feeling, without him you can't. Your gaze followed his walking figure as he brought his things at the door,
Turning to you with a pinched expression, though he was shocked to see you looking at him with a smile.
"Be safe."
You spoke ever so gently, with that slight smile he adored but for some reason it felt odd to see it. It troubled him, he shrugged it off, not wanting to drag this moment longer,
Afraid he'll give in and pull you into his arms.
He kept staring, as if he didn't wish to walk out the door. If he does, it means permanently, his heart was against that. "Can I hug you?"
"One last time?"
He was taken aback, stunned at your sudden request. And for a lot of reasons it hurt him, to hurt you in such a way you end up smiling in acceptance, asking him for one final hug.
With an anxious swallow, he dropped the bags and slowly drew closer to you. Pulling you close, perhaps too eagerly? Too desperately. But he didn't care. 
If its the final time he gets to have you in his embrace, he'll make the most of it. 
He lets the moment linger, with your hands clutching his shirt, he took you in. Taking your scent, the calm thumps of your heart, he needs all he can get.
With his eyes closed, he carefully rubs the back of your head when he suddenly felt warm on his chest,
It was tears,
Your tears. You were crying silently.
"[name]—" 
You interrupt him with a chuckle, pulling away from the hug to wipe your tears. 
"Sorry, it escaped." You humoured, wiping them away.
Right at that moment he felt his heart shatter, he felt cruel. On the other hand you felt fulfilled, with the final hug you wanted,
You can finally do it.
"I love you Si." You smiled once again, looking up at his towering figure. Though his expression remained stoic, almost softening as his thoughts dwelled with what his heart wants.
He shook his head, closing his eyes shut as he turned around to take his things. Twisting the knob in the process, stopping to spare you one last glance.
"I—" he almost said it but he stopped himself, he didn't want to make it any harder for himself, no matter how badly he wanted to say it.
"Goodbye [name]."
Those were the last words he spoke to you, as the sound of the door closing erupts in your ears. Leaving you in the eerie room you dreaded,
It's as if you could still feel his embrace.
Once you're sure he's far enough, it's when you started the preparation. Sitting down indifferently to write a few notes; letters to those few you held close.
One final regard of what you were too cowardly to say in person, a goodbye.
And so, you wrote.
To Simon,
My Simon.
If you're reading this, I am gone.
Whether or not you find this letter, I can only hope you know how much I've loved you. That even without reading this, you're still aware of how much you made me feel.
Thank you, truly.
For the longest time I have struggled to feel, most times it would just be devoid of yearning; my yearn to view life as something worth living for. To no avail I never got that, the idea to keep living never shone bright to me, of course, until you showed up and brighten up my space with your own special way,
It took us quite a few to get along, we really did.
But when it happened, it was ethereal. Things felt right, for the first time I was able to feel,
For the first time I had this sudden urge to keep living, to keep living for you. To see you, to hear your voice, to be beside you. I'm afraid I've grown dependent on that,
As someone who has never felt love nor care, I had no sense of value for myself. Yet you looked at me, you told me you love me and believe me I was ecstatic.
I depended on you, you were my source of happiness and I owe you for every bit of happiness I've gotten from this unfortunate life so when we're apart i find myself remembering just how miserable i am, how my family is, how i am as a person and how hard it is for me to feel.
Without you I can't feel anything.
But that was unhealthy,
I was merely distracted. The void never left, it was there temporarily filled with what I convinced myself was a will to live. I'm sorry. I really am, I wish I could have been better. I wish I could have been stronger,
Braver, to see your achievements even if we're not together anymore. My heart remains yours. It's not your fault, it never will be. I'm sure that you know If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. 
I know I lack the ability to feel, but with you, I never lied. I never faked anything. My love for you is here and it's the only feeling I am able to recognize, I know that night you walked out of the door saying we are better off apart, for the safety of my feelings and for the sake of your growing attachment. I cried but I cried because I agreed.
I'm sorry for surrendering to my weakness,
But I can't keep it together; not any longer. I can only hope that you'll be glad to know that maybe I'm somewhere free from the void of my emotions. I'm somewhere better, freely able to feel. Please be proud, with you I felt so much and that will never change. It's me your [name] :) always will be.
Goodluck to the strongest lieutenant! Remember to keep him happy and healthy, take care of the person I cherish the most, okay? Wherever I am, I am somewhere carrying the short-lived love we had. Treasuring it forever,
Stay frosty yeah? Don't be like me. 
Until next time, lieutenant :)
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nogenderbee · 3 months
Text
♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕊𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖 𝕚𝕟 𝕤𝕝𝕖𝕖𝕡 ₊˚ˑ༄
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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ anon request: Could I request the demon brothers with a lover who says strange things in their sleep? Like, they're just napping and all of a sudden, they say "potato fairy".
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Yeah! Absolutely!
I'm sorry some are really short but hopefully it's at least not forced so I still hope you'll like it!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff, TW: slight mentions of guts in Asmo's part (just skip the dialogue)
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✧ Lucifer is probably one of the rare demons who doesn't make big deal out of your habit
✧ it's just like snoring but... talking. And it just happens to be a bit stupid. He's seen worse things
✧ he'll move you to some private space when you fall asleep in public so you can rest there, without worrying layer about anyone hearing your mumbles
✧ he's usually not even paying attention to what you're saying in your sleep and just gets lost in his work
✧ even if he hears what you're saying, he's not gonna tease you about it, unless you really want to hear about things you've said
"It wasn't really anything out of the ordinary. Again, talking and flying fruits. I didn't listen to your descriptions. Sorry dear, but I had work to finish."
✧ overally, it's like he doesn't even notice that trait of yours
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✧ you scared the living out of Mammon the first time you did that
✧ he didn't knew you talk in your sleep in the first place so imagine fear on his face when you didn't answered simple questions
"MC, what do you mean...?"
"flying piggies..."
"WHERE-?!"
✧ literally believes you every time for some reason...
✧ don't you dare spooking him with ghosts or so because he'll end up clinging onto your pretending to just be "warming you up because you were shaking" ignoring the fact it's him who's shaking
✧ you'd think it'd get better with time, and yes it does a bit?
✧ when he's in front of someone and you start talking stupid things, he'll just explain how it's your habit, but he'll still have quick and sly look around his surroundings just in case...
✧ you're making this man lovkey paranoid a bit, especially if he's after horror movie... then it's even worse!
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✧ Levi sometimes doesn't even realize you've felt asleep to be honest
✧ he's sometimes so lost in his game or anime, he responds automatically without thinking about it
✧ it's just a habit when he's too focused on his things to just get rid of somebody
✧ it's honestly even funnier when he realizes what you two are talking about and stops everything he's doing to have a lag
"We can conquer the marshmallow kingdom later."
"But teddy bears..."
"Teddybears can wai- hold on... What...?"
✧ he's not letting anyone else hear you to save you the emberassment, so any time you fall asleep in public, he'll try to take you to his or your room, or anywhere private so you can rest
✧ he mostly doesn't even remember stories you've told him unless they really broke his mind so it's rare when you get to hear about things you've said in your sleep
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✧ Satan simply finds it funny
✧ people who talk in their sleep, sometimes tend to respond and he'll use it to have laugh of the year
"bugs with crowns..."
"Oh really? Why do they have crowns, MC?"
"They beated up Lucifer, then Diavolo..."
✧ the stories you've come up with in your sleep are truly worth writing down and you bet he does just that and reads them to you once you're awake
✧ he's not trying to be mean, he simply can't resist making you a bit pouty and blushy with your habit
✧ though he'll skip this part when others are around and won't mess with you, that's for his ears and eyes only~
✧ weirdly, you fell asleep around him more often after he've discovered your habit
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@miya-akane - come get your cat lover!
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✧ Asmo, similar to Satan, likes to have a chuckle thanks to your little habit
✧ though he's not as mean about it and has more casual conversation, eventually chuckling more from cuteness of your words rather than the fact he finds it funny
✧ sometimes tho, he may get dramatic with it
✧ try to say something stupid about self-care and he'll have an argument with your sleepy self
"I put jellyfish jam on my face and now I'm dazzling..~"
"You- YOU PUT JELLYFISH GUTS ON YOUR FACE?! Oh no, no! Listen closely, MC, you can't..."
✧ when you wake up, he doesn't let you go untill you two have your skin-care night/morning
✧ he won't be afraid to let you nap in public, after all your mumbling is cute!
✧ speaking of which, he doesn't mind telling others he's close to about what you said last night but he'll stop if you feel uncomfortable with that
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@vodka-glrl - come get your pretty princess~
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✧ Beel is another rare demon who doesn't make big deal out of it!
✧ he talks in his sleep too, and so does Belphie. He began ignoring sleep talking for quite a while now
✧ don't ask him what you've said because poor boy doesn't even remember
✧ he won't really touch or move you when you're asleep but he might sit down next to you and be like your little body guard
✧ if you ask him to tho, he'll move you to more private place when he catches you asleep somewhere public, he wants to make sure you're comfortable after all!
✧ but if you don't mind, he'll just let you rest like you are
"and then... bathtub elve came out..."
"Do they-"
"Oh yeah, they talk in their sleep. Anyway, are we going to that restaurant or not?"
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✧ Belphie also talks in his sleep and believe me, it's sometimes even stupider than things you're saying
✧ like, if you two actually talk with each other in your sleep, stupidest and most creative stories happen
✧ ask someone Beel to record it for you and you'll have a good laugh
"bee's need our help..."
"they can burn on candy sun..."
"but lolipops will melt too..."
"just spill it on Lucifer... heh..~"
✧ even if Lucifer overhears any of your stories, he can't do anything because you're just talking in your sleep and not insulting him consciously or are you
✧ when he sees you sleeping in public, he just joins you
✧ even if you tell him to move you somewhere private, it "slips his mind as he's too tired" and you end up waking up in the same place but with Belphie next to you
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@miya-akane - come get your sleepyhead!
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lizzieisright · 3 months
Text
Trust exercises
Abby, your friend, helps you with some of your therapy homework (just fluff, no smut)
-/-/-/-/-/-
It doesn't happen often, but sometimes before your scheduled meetings (since two adults need to schedule hangouts) you go to therapy, which means you come to Abby's place after therapy.
Sometimes you're happy, sometimes you're sad, sometimes you don't come at all, and Abby understands.
When she first met you, she thought you were the most kind, sunny human being - you were so nice to her, and Abby couldn't help but try to spend more time with you. You gladly let her and soon you two were practically inseparable - Abby trusted you, shared her worries and fears, even the stupid ones, and you supported her through it all. You were soft and kind to her, and you told her the stories of your past which made her cry. This is why Abby didn't notice that you didn't share anything from your present, not anything deeper than a complaint about work.
Abby knew you were in therapy - who wasn't in this economy? - and she thought you were so nice because you were healing. But during one of your shared evenings in Abby's apartment you both got drunk, very drunk, and you spilled something.
"Do you know why I'm in therapy?"
"Because your childhood sucked and your parents can eat shit for that?"
"Well, yeah." You laugh. "I have like, major trust issues."
"You?" Abby stared at you, even though she saw two of you by now. "Really?"
"Yeah." You nodded and even if Abby was super drunk, she noticed how your voice was strained.
"Fuck." Abby sighed, not really having a better response in this state of mind. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"So I can regret it later? No."
It stuck with Abby later, and she couldn't let it slide, so she talked to you about it. You were very reluctant about sharing what are your triggers, but the fact that you told her some things was already groundbreaking. (I won't ever ask for any help and I hate when people baby me, you told her, and it meant that when she bought you coffee you got literally offended - which led to another "you need to tell me if I hurt you because it's unfair" conversation, which led back to "If I could trust you, I would")
So Abby started getting more gentle with you - it rarely worked, but you always reassured her she wasn't the problem, which broke her heart even more.
But slowly, even through you shot her some weird looks when she took care of you in any way, you started to accept it. You started talking to her little by little, and Abby was happy - even if it was "holy fuck I cried me eyes out last night, kill me please" message. You shared some of your feelings, and Abby couldn't help the protectiveness she felt about you. You were so nice and kind to everyone and you were so lonely and broken inside it made Abby angry at anyone who made you feel like this. So she tried to give you everything she was able to.
One day you came from therapy, eyes red and puffy, your face empty and you just asked if Abby could cuddle you. Abby felt like she won life this day - won a glimpse of your trust.
So today you came after therapy as well, grumpy as fuck, which looked cute on you - Abby couldn't help her adoring gaze when she looked at you, even if you gave her a weird look now and then. It wasn't agressive, but Abby knew you struggled to accept she loved you for who you are, even though that was something you desperately needed.
"I have fucking homework." You told her and Abby laughed: you hated when your therapist gave you homework, since it was embarassing and you wanted to throw up.
"What is it?" Abby asked as she heated some food for you: which was also a struggle for you, accepting her care, but you were trying your best. These small things were just a trial before bigger things, and you promised to at least handle this for now.
"Fuckin' trust exercises." You sighed and rolled your eyes, but Abby saw through you: you wanted to do it, wanted to see there was someone you could trust. "You know this shit when you fall back and someone catches you? Disgusting."
Abby laughed and placed the plate in front of you, nodding when you said thank you.
"It's scary."
"It fuckin' is. And I don't want to do it." You grumped and Abby waited. "I mean I do, but I'll hate every second of it. Anyway, the point of this is, will you do it with me?"
Abby saw how it physically disgusted you to say it, and she knew it was your reaction to being vulnerable, so she just smiled: you hated being vulnerable, but she couldn't express how much it meant to her that you chose her to be vulnerable with.
"Of course."
"You don't have to, obviously-" Here you go again, Abby thought.
"I want to. I don't go to gym for nothing, I won't let you fall." Abby flexed her biceps and you got flustered.
You both knew you liked each other, and you flirted all the time, but Abby didn't rush you: you couldn't handle her heating the food for you, you were not ready to be in a relationship by any means. So Abby was waiting for you, calm and sure one day she will get to kiss you and you will accept her love.
"Thank you."
"And don't you fucking dare to do something nice for me in return, I'll kill you."
"...Fine."
You look so uncomfortable with the whole idea, but Abby knows you'll push through anyway - you are a masochist like that. So you stand in the middle of her living room, Abby is relaxed and just waits for you to go through your conflicting emotions.
"I'll catch you, I promise."
"I know that. It's not what worries me." You tell her as you fidget with your fingers. "It's so fucking scary."
"Well, you're not here alone. I'll hold you after."
You struggle again with accepting this, but you don't reject her - every time when this happens Abby feels proud and happy: you are trying to trust her.
"Okay, can we like. Start with smaller distance? I don't think I'll be able to do the whole metre."
"Of course."
You stand awkwardly with your back to Abby, barely twenty centimeters away from her - if Abby leans down, she will be able to put her head on your shoulder. So this is not even the fall exercise, you're going to lean on her.
"Holy fuck." You curse. "Okay."
You're so tense and anxious even like this, and Abby stretches her arms by your sides, letting you see she is supporting you. So you slowly lean back until you feel your back touch Abby's front. She is solid and warm, and she hugs you, holds you, and it's almost too much, and you want to cry. Abby is safe and Abby loves you and really, it's too much.
"I've got you." Abby tells somewhere in your hair and you break. You sob quietly and move away: it's unbearable. "Too much?"
You nod, not ready to talk and embarrass yourself.
"Do you want me to be quiet?"
You shake your hand yes and no, and Abby understands.
"Okay. Want to try again?"
You nod again and go a little further: if Abby doesn't catch you, you will fall, but not painfully. Again, her arms are stretched out and you take a deep breath before letting yourself fall back - the air gets stuck in your lungs from a millisecondary fear, but then you feel solid warm Abby who chuckles into your ear, but keeps quiet, even though she wants to tell you how proud of you she is - and you feel saved. It's strange, but the relief you feel is visceral and you want to cling to Abby's arms around you.
"Okay." You sigh, the anxiety leaves your body as adrenalin gets replaced with dopamin. "Okay, I get it."
"m?"
"Like. I'm so scared when I fall, but because you catch me, I instantly feel safe. What kind of pavlovian shit is this?"
"Are you suggesting we train you into trusting me by doing this every day?"
"It might work. I wanna do it again."
And then you get giddy and giggle when Abby catches you for the seventh time, the dopamin doing its job. Abby is happy to help, especially since she gets to hold you and be there for you and lets you see you are safe with her. It's a long way down the road, but eventually you'll get there, and you will trust her.
Abby can't wait.
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literaryavenger · 4 months
Text
Broken - bonus part
Summary: It's been a year since Bucky moved in and now it's his turn to help you, only problem is you won't let him.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: No use of Y/N. Language. A lot of fluff. Eating disorder. Angst.
Word Count: 7.8K
A/N: I made this bonus part to explore more about the eating disorder that was hinted in the first couple of chapters. I had plans to incorporated in the story when I was planning on making it longer, but with how it went it didn't feel like there was a place for it. I'd like to thank @ordelixx for giving me the idea for this additional part. Hope you enjoy it, I'm always open to more ideas so feel free to spam in my inbox or messages, know I always appreciate it! also sorry it took me so long to finish this but I started it and then kind of lost inspiration :(
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
Masterlist
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It’s been a year since Bucky arrived at the tower and about 11 months since his hearing.
As conditioned by his pardon he’s been going to therapy, he’s been training with the team and has been doing more and more missions, on probation, but still he’s been doing better than ever.
Even Tony had to admit that the more time he spent with Bucky the more the super soldier grew on him.
If a few months ago he begrudgingly spent time with the super soldier at your request, if anything to spend time with you too since you’re still inseparable, now Tony actively seeks him out; wanting to study his new vibranium arm, testing his gadgets since he got hurt less easily than the others. Or sometimes simply to talk about things like astronomy after Tony found out about Bucky’s interest in the subject.
They’ve even had a few conversations on Howard and his friendship with the sergeant back in the 40s.
You're proud of all the progress Bucky’s made, and you appreciate the fact that getting more comfortable in the 21st century and becoming more confident didn’t make him pull away from you.
It's a fear you had, that maybe Bucky stuck to you because you were the first person after Steve that made him feel safe, that the more people he got familiar with the more he was gonna pull away from you, not needing you as much anymore.
But, to your delight, Bucky’s still as touchy and clingy towards you as ever, if anything he's grown even more affectionate.
He never lets a day go by without telling you how much he loves you and appreciates you, kissing you any chance he gets and holding you tight every night in the room the two of you have been officially sharing the last few weeks since you’ve all moved to the new Avengers Compound upstate.
You love Bucky’s attention and you’re just as affectionate towards him as he is towards you. Everything was going great.
Until it wasn’t.
You’re on your way to your room, looking forward to seeing Bucky after a full morning of mission reports with Steve and then training with Natasha.
She obviously kicked your ass and you're exhausted, wanting nothing more than to be in his warm embrace for the rest of the day.
Thankfully, it’s friday afternoon and you have no new missions which means your weekend is wide open.
You stop on your tracks when you hear your name being mentioned in a conversation right around the corner.
You recognize one of the voices as Sharon Carter, one of the agents of Shield that lives and works at the compound the Avengers now reside in.
You don’t know why you stop to listen in on the conversation, you’re not really one to eavesdrop, but something about her tone makes your legs refuse to move towards her direction. Which just so happens to be the way towards the Avengers only part of the building.
Your stomach drops when you hear the other girl’s next sentence.
"And can you believe she got Sergeant Barnes to date her?" Sharon groans before answering.
"Of course she did, he was all broken and vulnerable and she was like the first person he met at the tower. He obviously got attached to the first person that was nice to him, otherwise how do you think a girl like her could ever have a chance with him?" she says matter-of-factly. 
"You’re right, I mean he’s probably still with her just out of habit. He’s too nice to hurt her feelings." the other girl says, giggling.
"Exactly." Sharon agrees, laughing with her friend. "I mean, he’d never go for her if he met her today. He’d probably be flirting his way through the actually pretty girls that live around here, like you and me."
You can hear their laughter growing louder as they get closer to where you are frozen on your spot and feel yourself starting to panic.
You can’t face them right now, the only thing on your mind is finding a place to hide in.
You see a door behind you and you sprint to it, reaching it, running inside and closing the door softly in record time. You press your ear up against it and can hear the muffled laughter and some more comments on you and Bucky.
When they’re finally far enough that you can’t hear them, you let yourself relax, pressing your back against the door and looking into the dark closet you’re hiding in while you let their words really sink in, your brain working overtime to make sure you didn’t misheard or misinterpreted anything.
Once you’re sure you indeed heard everything correctly, tears start to form in your eyes.
Is that really what people think? That Bucky’s just with you because he pities you?
You’ve always known Bucky was beautiful, definitely the hottest guy you’ve ever seen in your life, and you’ve always known he was out of your league.
You know you’re by no means thin, but you also don’t consider yourself fat, especially not after all the work that it took you to get to a place where you have a healthy relationship with your body.
Yes, you still have your doubts and insecurities, but that’s just in your head.
Although here you are, hiding in a supply closet, tears streaming down your face, because there are actual people outside of your head that see your flaws too.
One thing is to wonder about this stuff in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep, the voices in your head taking over, but to hear those same thoughts coming out of someone else’s mouth hit you hard.
You don’t even know how long you stay hidden, but at some point you snap out of it and dry your tears, opening the door and making the way to your room.
It feels like only a second passes and then you’re opening the door of yours and Bucky’s room. You make a beeline for the bathroom, barely acknowledging your boyfriend when he greets you as you lock the bathroom door behind you.
Bucky’s eyebrows furrow at your cold shoulder, immediately getting worried. He gets up from the bed and knocks on the door of the bathroom calling out for you. "Everything okay?"
You can hear the concern in his voice and it only makes you feel worse as you find yourself wondering if he’s actually worried or just that good at pretending.
You look at your reflection in the mirror and all of a sudden you feel nauseous but you barely have time to realize it’s not just in your head when you’re suddenly throwing up in the toilet.
Bucky’s more worried than ever as he hears you be sick from the other side of the door. "Doll, I need you to talk to me or I will break down the door."
He knows it may not be the ideal thing to say, but his concern outweighs his rational thinking when you stop making sounds as he still hasn't heard your voice and is worried you might’ve passed out.
"I’m okay." your voice is quiet, but at least you’re conscious. 
"Can you open the door for me, doll?" He can hear you sigh and shuffle a bit, probably getting up. Then he hears the faucet of the sink being turned on as you splash some water on your face.
He’s a little calmer now, patiently waiting for you and he lets out a little breath of relief when he hears the lock click.
You open it reluctantly, trying your best to look normal, but Bucky can see right through you.
"What’s wrong, baby?" he brings his hands to your cheeks and you can’t help but lean into them for a second before you grab his wrists and gently lower his hands, his face more worried than before.
"I’m fine, Bucky." you say, your voice almost emotionless.
"You were just throwing up. You’re not fine." it takes all of him not to reach for you again, not wanting to cross your boundaries.
"It’s nothing. Maybe I’m just sick. I’ll take a shower, it’ll make me feel better." You don’t give him time to respond as you close the door and lock it again, starting the shower.
Bucky feels like he can barely breathe, your behavior making him more worried than he’s been since the 40s and he had to take care of sickly little Steve.
Youìve never acted like this with him, when you were sick or even grumpy from your period you usually became clingy and wanted him around even more than you usually do. But he gives you the benefit of the doubt.
If you were sick this wasn’t the moment to think about himself. He has to take care of you first and he can ask more later you when you're feeling better.
With new resolve he heads towards the kitchen, determined to get everything you might need to make you feel better.
You stay in the shower for over an hour, trying to avoid Bucky as much as you can, but you know you had to get out and face him eventually.
When you come out of the bathroom you find him sitting in the desk chair, the desk full of things you’re pretty sure weren’t there when you entered the room.
Bucky's on his feet and coming towards you in a second, your favorite pair of pajamas in his hand.
"Are you feeling better?" he asks you softly, worry still present on his features.
You can’t bring yourself to look at him, taking the clothes and changing as fast as you can, a small ‘I’m fine’ leaving your lips. 
"What's all of this?" you ask, stepping around him and walking towards the desk.
"Oh, I just brought you some things to make you feel better." He can't help himself as he wraps his arms around you from behind while you look through the things he brought you.
He got you all sorts of pain meds, your favorite snacks and drinks, your heating pad and your favorite comfort book.
You want to cry at the sight, but part of you can't help but doubt Bucky, even with how sweet he’s being.
You snap out of it when you feel Bucky give you a kiss on the shoulder and, suddenly, it all feels fake and it’s too much for you. 
You place your hands on his and move his arms away from you, then start heading towards the bed.
"I’m not hungry. I just want to sleep for a bit." That's all you say as you lay down and turn your back on him, tears threatening to fall down again.
You hear him sigh behind you. Then he moves around and you feel him lay a kiss on your head before he walks out the room shutting the lights on his way, wanting to give you the space you clearly want.
You aren't sure if you're glad you can cry yourself to sleep freely or worried that him walking out solidifies the voices in your head that are telling you that maybe Bucky really doesn’t love you.
When you wake up the next morning Bucky’s arms were wrapped around you from behind.
Usually being in his hold makes you feel safe but right now all you can concentrate on is the feeling of his hands on your belly and how disgusted he would be if he woke up and realized the position you were in, no matter how many times you've been like this.
You slip away from his embrace and go to change into work out clothes. You went to sleep pretty early yesterday so it was still early in the morning when you woke up.
You aren’t expecting to meet anyone yet but, once again, you're proven wrong by the shuffling coming from the kitchen as you make your way to grab a bottle of water.
You approach carefully without making a sound and when you peak around the corner you see Steve, probably back from a morning run, in front of the counter with his back to you and a water bottle in his hand.
You try to move as quietly as possible, even with enhanced hearing your skills have gotten so good you're able to sneak around the super soldiers when needed.
You decide to use the stairs to get to the gym, the door leading to them squeaking lightly. Steve turns around at the sound but seems to decide it was nothing as he shrugs and makes his way to his room.
You’ve been at the gym for a couple of hours, stopping only to grab water from the mini fridge, when the door opens and you hear Bucky’s voice.
"Hey doll, I’ve been looking for you everywhere." His voice sounds genuinely concerned. You have to give him props on his acting skills.
"Yeah, couldn’t sleep." You say without looking at him, barely stopping your punching of the bag in front of you.
"I thought you were sick." he’s slowly getting closer, you’d almost think he was trying to corner a scared animal.
"Clearly I feel better." you shrug, trying to end this conversation as fast as possible.
You feel his hand on your shoulder and finally stop, taking a deep breath before turning to face him.
His face looks more worried than you’ve ever seen it and it almost makes you forget your own concerns about the reality of your relationship.
Almost. 
"Maybe you should go visit Bruce, make sure everything’s okay." his eyes never leave your face and you try your best to hide any emotion but it’s always been too easy for him to read you so you shrug his hand from your shoulder, trying to put a little distance between you.
He looks genuinely hurt, but, again, what would you expect from a trained assassin? Pretending comes as naturally to him as breathing. 
"I’m fine, Bucky." you turn back to the bag and resume your punching. You’re so lost in your own thoughts you don’t even notice him walking out of the gym.
You work out some more before deciding it’s enough and go back to your room, thankful for the first time that Bucky’s not there.
After you shower and change again you find yourself with nothing to do and, for once, you wish you had paperwork to keep you occupied and give you an excuse to avoid everybody.
You grab your purse and make your way out, mumbling something about having errands to run in the city when you come across some people in the living room, basically running out of there so fast you can’t even tell who’s actually there watching tv.
You spend the whole day running around the city, not really having a destination but when the sun starts coming down you decide to head back.
When you enter the living room you can see everyone sitting at the kitchen table.
"Finally, you’re here! We can eat now." Sam shouts happily and you know you can’t escape this.
"Sorry, didn’t realize you were waiting on me." You say quietly while sitting down in the only free chair that’s unfortunately next to Bucky.
"It’s okay, koala bear." Steve smiles from your other side. "Bucky said you weren’t feeling great, so Wanda made your favorite."
You try to look excited while smiling and thanking Wanda as she and Vision place the food on the table. If she notices something is off, she doesn't say anything, just giving you a smile of her own in return.
"Where were you all day?" Tony asks you.
"The city." you simply say, trying to sound as casual as possible while making no attempt to look at him, or make eye contact with anyone else for that matter.
But Tony seems satisfied with your answer, taking your lack of conversation for tiredness and going back to talking to Clint.
You manage to avoid all conversations with nods and hums and you can feel Bucky’s gaze on you almost as it burns but you can’t find it in yourself to look back at him.
When you feel his hand coming to rest on top of yours on the table you feel like something inside you snaps and you get up abruptly, making everybody stop as they give you confused looks.
"Excuse me, I still don’t feel well. I think I’m gonna go to my room and rest." and, without giving anyone the chance to say anything, you walk away.
There’s a second of silence before the team seems to dismiss your behavior as grumpiness from feeling sick, after all the rare times that you do get sick you get very irritable.
Bucky seems to be the only one to notice your untouched food. 
After less than five minutes the door to your room opens and Bucky comes in, finding you sitting on the bed staring at nothing while being clearly lost in your head.
He makes his way to you and kneels down in front of you.
"What’s going on, doll?" He tries his luck again, putting a hand on your knee. He hopes that giving space all day allowed you to come around and now you’ll talk to him.
You prove him wrong by getting up, not even sparing him a glance, and making your way to the closet to try and busy yourself so you won’t have to look at him.
"Nothing." You offer nothing more and Bucky starts getting frustrated with you. 
"What is wrong with you today?" He knows something’s wrong. He knows you better than anyone, and he’s trying to be patient with you but you’ve never acted this cold towards him and it scares him.
"Nothing is wrong." You know you’re pushing it. You know you’re doing nothing to alleviate his worries, but you can’t help the feeling that he’s the one in the wrong.
He’s the one out of line, he’s the one that betrayed your trust and hurt you and toyed with your feelings and lied to you about his own. You had every right to be short with him.
Right?
"Something is obviously wrong, why won’t you just talk to me?!" He almost whines and you roll your eyes, your own unjustified irritation coming out.
"Oh, for the love of God, just give it a rest!" you almost yell, and the surprise you find in yourself is nothing compared to the one on Bucky’s face.
"What?" he’s almost whispering and the hurt in his voice for some reason just infuriates you more.
"Stop treating me like I’m made of glass! Not everyone is as needy as you, you know. I’m a grown ass adult and I don’t need you!" You can’t stop shouting, knowing full well you don’t mean a word you’re saying. But you want to hurt him as much as you’re hurting, as wrong as that is.
"Don’t you think I know that you don’t need me?!" He’s yelling too now, and you know you pushed the right button "I know damn well how strong you are, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still worry about you!"
"I don’t need you to worry about me!"
"Well, that’s too damn bad for you, because I love you and I want you to be okay!" God, even shouting he’s still being nice to you.
"Well, that’s too damn bad for you, because it’s none of your business if I’m okay!" Not the best response, but at this point you honestly have no idea of even control of what’s coming out of your mouth anymore.
"God, why are you being such a child about this?!" Bucky barely understands what’s going on right.
The two of you have never fought before, not so much as an argument, and now here you are in a yelling match that started because he's concerned about you.
"Oh boo freaking hoo, poor Bucky having to deal with a child! If you don’t like me just say so!"
"What the hell are you talking about?!" He’s beyond confused now.
"If you don’t want this," you gesture between the two of you "just leave! Go and find someone you actually like! Don’t stay with me just because you feel like you have to!"
"When did I ever say that? Are you out of your mind?!"
"Yes, I’m crazy! Now just leave me the fuck alone!" you yell at the top of your lungs and Bucky seems to freeze in his spot.
Assuming this is over, you turn around and climb into bed, your back to Bucky once again.
When you hear him sigh and start moving you feel like you’re reliving yesterday, except this time you don’t expect him to kiss you but just leave.
He turns off the lights, but you frown when you don’t hear the door, instead you feel the bed dip behind you. You tense up when Bucky’s arms wrap around you from behind, bringing you closer to him with your back pressed against his chest.
"I will choose you over everyone. Even on the days where we don’t understand each other." He whispers in your ear after a moment of silence and you can’t do anything to stop the tears that start coming out as you feel Bucky holding you tighter without saying another word.
You want to believe him, you really do. But Sharon’s voice in your head is like a net, not allowing you to fall fully into Bucky, not being able to accept that someone like him truly loves you.
So you start spending your days by yourself, avoiding people as much as possible.
Everytime you're in a room with someone all you can think about is how they're probably judging you, making just want to run away and hide.
But isolating yourself does nothing to ease your worries as you now spend all your time overthinking and hating on yourself.
You start pulling away from Bucky too and it's killing him.
You still won't talk to him, everytime you're together you pretend that everything's fine.
You put on a smile he knows is fake, really doing the bare minimum to keep a conversation going and when he touches you he always gets the feeling that you wanted nothing more than to slap his hands away.
But you always try to be discreet as you inch away from him with any excuse that comes to mind.
It's the change in your relationship with Bucky that starts to clue the team in on your behavior.
As much as they have fun giving you shit for it, they all admire your closeness and were happy that you found each other.
So they start paying more attention to you. Everybody can see something's wrong, but if you wouldn’t talk to Bucky about it, really what chance do they have?
It doesn't stop them from worrying though, seeing how you seem to waste away.
You spend too much time in the gym, losing weight at an alarming rate and not getting enough sleep to function, sometimes resulting in you falling asleep during meetings or on the mat at the gym.
But you refuse to let Bruce look at you. You refuse any help really, your temper shorter than ever as you end up snapping at people more often than not.
You try to keep it together, but it's obviously not working. The only thing you manage to do is avoiding meals without anyone noticing.
After weeks on end of this, the team decides to do something to try and cheer you up, taking the opportunity of your birthday coming up.
Steve manages to convince Tony to have a small party, just the team and agents of Shield, instead of one of his big parties full of strangers.
They're careful when they approach you with the subject, having taken to walking on eggshells around you. You can’t help feeling bad for the way you’ve been treating them, so you decide to be cool about the party, even knowing deep down you’ll regret it.
Natasha and Wanda offer to go shopping with you for a new dress for the occasion, but you decline their invitation.
You know they're trying to be nice, but just the thought of going from store to store, seeing all those beautiful, skinny women trying on pretty dresses you’d never be able to fit into, together with the two gorgeous redheads, it sounds like hell to you.
Which is why you ask the team to have a more informal dress code than usual, allowing you to dress as comfortable as you can be at the moment with loose fitting pants and a large hoodie.
You arrive at the party in the ballroom of the compound that Tony just had to have and are thankful to see everyone dress casually, most of the girls not even wearing dresses.
But you still try not to linger too long on their looks, not wanting to feel worse than you already do about your own appearance.
Arms wrap around your body and you hear Bucky wish you a happy birthday.
You give him a few seconds before you wiggle away from the embrace and turn around. You give Bucky your best fake smile and thank him before kissing him quickly on the cheek and walking away towards the bar to get some water.
You don't need to be getting drunk and throwing up more than you already do every time your stomach forces you to eat anything.
You spend the whole night going from person to person, trying not to talk to anyone too long and making sure to always keep moving to avoid too many questions.
You know it's only a matter of time before they start coming. Even Fury is present, worried about you ever since he had to take you off missions for passing out on the field.
Soon came the moment you’d been dreading most: Wanda comes toward you with your favorite cake with candles lit and everybody starts singing.
You know that with being the center of attention you won't be able to get away with not eating and the team would piece things together if you try, having already gone through this years ago.
Honestly, you're a little disappointed nobody had figured it out yet, but not entirely surprised as you told yourself everyone just didn’t care enough.
And why should they when you look the way you do?
Everyone cheers as you blow on the candles, fake smile still going strong. The cake is cut and everyone is enjoying Wanda’s culinary talent. You even manage to eat yours and keep it down without looking disgusted with yourself.
Everything was going great.
You're behind the bar now taking another water bottle from the mini fridge when you accidentally knock over a glass full of straws that was thankfully made of plastic so it didn’t break.
While you're picking up straws you hear footsteps getting close to the bar that hid your kneeling figure and stop what you're doing when you hear Sharon talking about you. Again.
"And did you see how she’s dressed to her own party? No wonder Bucky’s been staying as far away as possible all night." she's basically whispering, but it's still loud enough for you to hear.
"I know, he’s probably ashamed of her. Wouldn’t surprise me if he dumped her tonight." the two girls giggle the sound seems to snap you out of your trance.
You get up so fast you scare Sharon and the other girl, their startled squeals drawing the attention of the rest of the party as everybody prepares for any danger.
But there is no danger, all everybody can see is two mortified looking agents and you with tears in your eyes that you don't even feel starting to fall.
The whole team is worried sick, everybody getting closer to the bar, but Bucky is the one that's at your side before you can even think about blinking the tears away.
"What’s wrong, baby?" he looks so worried, almost like he himself is about to cry at the mere thought of you being in pain.
But that can't be it, that's not what you're seeing.
He's probably just embarrassed you're being overly emotional for no apparent reason, and that look in his eyes is him getting ready to break up with you right here and now.
At that thought you can literally feel the cake you just ate coming back up and all you can do is run as fast as you could towards the nearest bathroom with a very concerned Bucky running after you after silently agreeing with Steve with a single look that he’ll be the one to check on you.
You make it to the toilet just in time to unload, barely registering two hands taking your hair and holding it away from your face.
You finish vomiting and clean your mouth with some toilet paper before throwing it in and flushing it, shuffling your body backwards until your back hits the tub and you close your eyes while resting your head back against it.
You feel your hair falling back down on your shoulders and can make out the sound of the faucet running for a few seconds before you feel a wet towel gently brushing your cheeks and mouth.
You open your eyes and are met with Bucky kneeling in front of you, seemingly examining every inch of your face to try and understand what’s going on.
Before he can ask you for what felt like the thousandth time though, you can't hold yourself back anymore.
"Please don’t leave me." your voice is weak enough already from all the vomiting and the sobs that start coming in certainly don't help.
Tears start to fall like waterfalls but you don't let any of that stop you from going on. "I know I said I didn’t need you, but I do. I need you so much more than you could ever know."
Bucky wraps his arms around you and he's more than relieved when you don't pull away for the first time in weeks.
Instead, you cling to him as you keep pleading with him not to leave you in between broken sobs while he moves you to sit curling on his lap.
Bucky’s heart breaks for you and he wonders if this was how you felt everytime you comforted him, feeling even more in awe of you now that he knows how hard it was to see the person you love like this.
All he wants is to make you feel better and take away all your pain, but he had no idea how.
When you show no signs of calming down after several minutes he decides to try to talk you down, hoping not to make things worse.
"Doll, I need you to calm down." he tries to pull away just enough to look you in the eyes, but you just hug him tighter, almost terrified that he's just gonna get up and leave forever if you let go and you start getting more agitated by the second. 
!Baby, please try to take deep breaths." he's trying really hard not to panic himself now. "I’m not leaving, I promise. I’m staying right here with you, but you need to calm down, please."
Maybe it's because he's basically begging you, maybe it's because of the panic and concern you think you can hear in his voice or maybe it's his grip getting impossibly tight on you that grounds you, but your brain seems to clear just enough to give your body the command and you start trying to take deep breaths.
When you loosen your hold on Bucky he grabs one of your hands and puts it on his chest right over his heart, the steady beating giving you something to concentrate on as you try your best to copy his breathing. 
It takes a few more minutes but you calm down, tears still falling silently down your cheeks while Bucky rubs your back with his metal hand, his other warm hand still over yours on his chest.
"I’m sorry I’m such a mess…" Your voice sounds foreign to your own ears, quiet, full of sadness and desperation.
This isn’t you.
This isn’t the confident, strong woman that kicked ass and defended Bucky even to your own family from day one.
What happened to you?
Unbeknownst to you, Bucky's asking himself the same question.
What happened to the sweet, bright girl that offered him a hug after five seconds of knowing him? The girl that calmed him down from a panic attack and kept him company through the night even after knowing about his past?
The girl that let him hang onto her like a koala and allowed him to let it all out? The girl that was patient with him, understanding and never once judged him, no matter how broken she’d seen him?
He really can't think of anything that could've happened to break you this much, to bring you to basically have a meltdown on a bathroom floor.
But whatever it was he needs to know now, and he's more determined than ever to find out.
"Doll, you’re not a mess. You’re hurting, I can see it. We all can. And I know you’re strong, but everybody needs help once in a while. Whatever’s been happening, you don’t have to go through it alone. Just like you didn’t let me go through anything alone. You were always there for me, you’re always there for everybody." he pauses and you take the moment to spiral further.
This is the only reason why he’s still with you. You were there for him, you cared and comforted him. So he feels the need to stay with you because Bucky’s loyal, no matter what his feelings actually are.
But he’s gonna fall in love one day with someone, and what is that gonna mean for you? He’s gonna leave you to be with the person he actually wants, loyalty or not. Your fall down the rabbit hole is stopped by Bucky’s voice.
"Please let me be there for you. This is killing me, watching you do this to yourself. Please tell me what’s going on, baby, because you’re scaring me so fucking much. Please." he finishes in a whisper.
Before you can even properly process his words, you feel a tear that's not yours fall on your cheek, making your eyes widen and you look up to see Bucky already looking down at you with tears rolling down his cheeks.
Your hand goes up to his face automatically and you feel him lean into it. You sit up straighter on his lap, leaning in to rest your forehead against his and closing your eyes while willing yourself to stop the tears long enough so you can talk.
Bucky doesn't push you, finding comfort in your touch after having missed it for what, in his opinion, is too damn long.
"I’m sorry… I just…" you don't even know how to start to explain it.
Bucky can see you're having a hard time finding the words, so he tries to help by saying "You don’t need to rush it, doll. I don’t want to push you to talk about something you clearly don’t want to... But I’ve just been so worried. You’ve been pushing everyone away, and you don’t sleep and stay at the gym until you almost pass out. You think that I don’t hear you throwing up, but I do. And, even with all your oversized clothes, I can see how much weight you’ve been losing. It’s killing me, baby, I hate to see you like this. I just want to know why." he kisses the side of your head and you're on the verge of tears again.
Trying hard to hold them back, you force yourself to speak. "I heard some people talking about me…" you start, your voice still quiet, and you go on to tell him everything.
The conversation you overheard, the insecurities that it brought to the surface, the issues you had in the past and the struggle you’ve been having the last few weeks.
By the end of it Bucky he doesn't know what to feel. He's enraged, worried sick, sad at how miserable you’ve been. Just to name a few.
But more than anything he's heartbroken at how much you’ve been questioning your relationship with him and his love for you. He's devastated to think that everytime he told you how much he loves you, you doubted him and convinced yourself he was lying.
And the worst part is he has no idea how to change your mind.
Is there anything he can say that you won’t doubt? Anything he can do to show you how much you mean to him? Probably not, but he has to try and make you understand.
Your eyes are still closed, not daring to see the disappointment in Bucky’s face.
"Baby, look at me." he says firmly but gently enough to not make you think he was in any way mad at you.
He waits patiently until you look at him which, after taking a deep breath, you do and only then he continues while taking your face in his hands "There are so many things I want to tell you right now... but I’ll start with I love you, doll. I love you so much it actually hurts. Maybe we got close because you were nice and patient with me, but that’s not why I love you. I love you because you’re kind and smart and strong and dedicated. You can kick ass like no one else and you’re still the sweetest person I’ve ever met. And I’m almost 100, I’ve met a lot of people." he smiles when he finally gets you to giggle, the first real laugh he’s heard from you in weeks.
"You’re compassionate and understanding and loyal and beautiful beyond compare. I fell in love with you because of who you are, not what you look like. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re pretty, I think you’re gorgeous and I love your body. I love everything about you. Every. Single. Thing." he punctuates every word with a kiss to each of your cheeks and then your nose, making you giggle more. "You think I’d ever leave you? I could never even consider being with someone else. God, you were never even supposed to mean this much to me! I was never supposed to fall so hard... But you know what? I did and that’s the truth, and that’s what keeps me holding on because it hurts like hell to let you go."
You're obviously in tears, not being able to look away from Bucky’s eyes even if you wanted because of his hold on your face, not that you're trying that hard to get away.
You have no words to describe the way you feel, not even being sure if you fully believe him. The look on his face, though, makes you want to believe. Makes you want to tell all the voices in your head to fuck off until the only one left is Bucky’s saying all the things he just said, over and over again.
But can you really let go of them that easily?
"You don’t have to carry this by yourself, doll." Bucky can see your internal struggle. "Lean on me. Let me help you make this easier."
There's nothing but sincerity in his eyes, he can't possibly be that good of an actor to be faking it, right?
So you decide to trust him.
You trust him with your life, why can’t you believe that he really loves you? 
You can. You do.
You will...
"Okay…" You’re basically whispering, still a little worried he’s just pretending and is gonna rip the rug from under you any second now. "I love you, so much. And I want to believe you love me… but it may take me a little while to accept that completely. I’m sorry…"
"You don’t need to apologize, baby. It doesn’t matter how much time it takes, I’m here for all of it. I want nothing more than to help you feel better, starting with helping you love yourself as much as I love you." he wipes your tears with his thumbs before he gives you a soft kiss on the lips. "And not worrying what jealous, unimportant, random people think of you. You’re beautiful inside AND out, don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise. Not even this." He taps the side of your head.
You wrap your arms around his neck and hug him tightly, neither one of you needing to say more at the moment. After a few minutes like this, you’re both done crying and you let go just enough to look at each other.
"Can we go to our room?" you ask him and he nods, letting you get off his lap and then getting up with you.
He doesn’t let you get too far from him while you go to the sink to try and make yourself look decent as he follows you so closely you might think you’re glued to each other.
Your eyes meet in the mirror and he smiles at you, wrapping his arms around your waist, he gives you a kiss on the shoulder before resting his head on it.
You successfully wash off all the makeup you put on for the party, your efforts now ruined by all the crying.
"You’re so pretty." Bucky tells you, his eyes never leaving yours and you smile a real smile this time, turning your head to give him a kiss on the cheek that makes him smile even more.
You get out of the bathroom and you tense up seeing everybody still at the party, your breath hitching in your throat as embarrassment crawls up on you.
You can see the team’s worried looks and the last thing you want right now is to go through the last 40 minutes all over again, in front of everybody.
You just want to go to your room and cuddle up with Bucky, but the super soldier had other plans.
"Can I have everybody’s attention?" you look at him with a frown, but he simply smiled at you and keeps going once the whole room is looking at you two. "It’s been brought to my attention that some of you have some misconceptions about our relationship."
You didn’t tell Bucky who you heard the conversation from, only that it was two agents just in case he might think it was someone on the team, and it almost looks like he's scanning every agent’s face to try and figure out who it was, but he continues nonetheless.
"I’d just like to make it clear for everyone that not only I love this woman more than life itself, but I, and everyone who knows her for that matter, think she’s the best, most caring person I’ve ever met. Not to mention the most attractive, in my ever so humble opinion." he wraps his metal arm around your waist and brings you closer as your face gets redder, and you can see the team chuckling and grinning at Bucky’s possessiveness and your flustered form. "And it’s also absolutely none of your business what happens in our relationship. But, since you’re all here I might as well give you something real to gossip about."
To say you're confused is an understatement. You turn back to him when Bucky’s arm disappear from around you just in time to see him reach into his back pocket, pulling out a ring box and getting down on one knee.
You hear gasps around the room, your own being muffled by your hand in front of your mouth as your eyes grow wide.
"Bucky..." It's barely a whisper to begin with, your hand almost not letting it escape at all.
"Baby, I meant every single thing I’ve said today. I love you so much. I’ve been carrying this around for a couple of months, looking for the right time to do this. But when you started pushing me away I thought maybe you were changing your mind about me. I was terrified and decided to wait, but I realize now if I had done this when I first wanted to, the last few weeks probably wouldn’t have happened. I could’ve saved you so much pain... I don’t know if this is the right time, but I do know that I’ve been ready for a while and right now I honestly can’t think of a better way to show you just how much you really mean to me. So…" he opens the box to reveal a rose gold ring with one big diamond at the center and two smaller ones on each side of it, then he takes your free hand on his. "Doll, will you marry me?"
He can feel you trembling, tears forming in your eyes once more as the whole room seems to hold their breath.
"Yes!" you're finally able to get out and Bucky feels like he can breathe again, happiness spreading throughout his whole body.
You basically throw yourself on him and he catches you with ease, getting up on his feet while you wraps your legs around his waist like a koala.
There's a chorus of cheers, the team immediately gathering around you to congratulate you both.
It feels like too little time when you finally detach from Bucky as he gently put you on the ground before slipping the ring on your finger and kissing it, his eyes never leaving yours, silently telling you he belongs to you and only you.
You’re about to lean in for a kiss when two strong arms pick you up making you squeal, Steve’s laughter in your ear as he says something about finally having a sister-in-law and making everybody laugh.
After a good 15 minutes of hugs left and right, Bucky intervenes.
"Okay, okay, can you please not smother my future wife?" your heart skips a beat when he says that and you're sure you're smiling like an idiot as he makes his way through the team to get to you.
"You know, he actually asked me for my blessing. I told you he cares very much about you." Tony whispers to you while he passes, giving you one last squeeze and a wink before everybody gives you and Bucky a moment.
He wraps his arms around your waist and finally kisses you.
When you pull away you both have big, goofy grins, never wanting this moment to end.
There's no separating you, and now everybody knows it.
Requested taglist: @aesthetic0cherryblossom @buchi91 @sapphirebarnes
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