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#this is EASILY the most self indulgent thing ive ever posted. so much so that i worked THIS HARD and still considered not posting it
cloudysfluffs · 7 months
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tickling your human host is SO unfair
(ns//fw and/or fetish blogs please dni🙏🙏)
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piggybonez · 9 months
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How did you get into the scene/decora subculture?? :>>
hi!! i think i discovered decora fashion by watching the YouTuber cybr grl, (check them out if u dont know them they are amazing and so informative about jfashion in general and also just a really sweet and fun YouTuber all around. ive learned a lot from their videos and they make me really happy to watch bc they’re a super kind and positive person ^.^) but i have a hard time pinning down exactly where or how it started? before i knew it i was just trying to hunt down as many pictures i could of people wearing this fashion and i began cultivating a style of my own around it as well. before getting into decora/scene i was definitely an emo/punk and i wore basically all black all the time. (band tees and ripped jeans mostly like an incredibly basic broke bitch style if u will) most of my wardrobe is still black right now so im trying to get more color into it. it’s funny how my style and interest in fashion took a complete 360 that way.
what i love about fashion is that it is completely your own to play with, and i like to challenge myself to take inspiration from all my fashion interests and put them together as my own unique style. (im a big fan of trad goth as well shout out to the goth subculture) as far as scene fashion goes i still haven’t gotten the chance to build a very scene style wardrobe but i do my best with what i have. scene/decora in particular are really fun and interesting and exciting to me because i feel like my middle school self would have appreciated it the most and would’ve wanted to dress that way then but it’s not until i got older that i ever had access to that knowledge or the ability to pursue a style of my own. i feel like when ur plus size and poor and even disabled it can be really hard to dress in a way that you like. fatphobia makes it really inaccessible and difficult to elevate ur style not to mention how much clothes cost EVEN AT THE THRIFT STORE‼️
but anyways, i just really love the 2000s scene/emo era and i know for a fact if i had the ability i would’ve been one of Those Kids. i hung out with those kids and i definitely didn’t look normal bc i was an undiagnosed autistic “girl” with a mohawk and i looked punk as fuck but i only ever wore what was given to me so i never had a sense of style or a sense of self until after i got away from my parents. now i just love to use my tumblr blog and also my pinterest as a way to appreciate these styles and indulge in the interests and passions i didn’t have the opportunity to appreciate before. i feel like growing up with trauma makes it really hard for u to develop ur own personality outside of survival, but that’s why my tumblr is my safe space and every rb of a weirdo with teased hair and accessories all over heals my inner child. im sure this is a much longer post than u were expecting but i love talking about these things so thank u for asking this question!!!!
also didn’t mention this before but another reason why i love decora is because it’s so incredibly unique to each person, NO ONE does decora like me because i use the materials around me to create my style! i love that decora can be casual or over the top (ott), and i also love that i can prioritize my comfort while wearing it. (baggy shirts, comfortable jeans, crocs, tennis shoes, whatever) sometimes it can be majorly uncomfortable to wear especially bc summer is so hot and because i get overstimulated super easily by all the accessories (for example wearing kandi is not easy for me sometimes) but i suffer through and i make do and i cant wait to be a fashion icon one day :p
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I posted 163 times in 2022
That's 151 more posts than 2021!
12 posts created (7%)
151 posts reblogged (93%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@sarah-sandwich
@the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see
@shipskicksandgiggles
@thoughts-of-a-trying-tree
@innovationoftransspider-man
I tagged 103 of my posts in 2022
Only 37% of my posts had no tags
#fic rec - 36 posts
#parkner - 25 posts
#omelet fic - 16 posts
#the tree speaks - 15 posts
#marvel - 11 posts
#transferred tags → - 8 posts
#spiderman - 7 posts
#spiderlad - 5 posts
#harley keener - 3 posts
#peter parker - 3 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#omg.............. i will write these................... i will........................... number six will make me scream i will write these
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
commitment to a fic is when you change your emoji colors for the characters and forget to change them back
3 notes - Posted February 21, 2022
#4
lmao okay this is such a me thing to do but anyway
remember the announcement i was talking about? yk, the one i never spoke of again? yeah so..... i have an ao3 account!! super exciting, i can leave kudos twice (more if i try hard enough) and its been lovely overall, but ive moved all the fics that i like there (a grand total of four out of... more than four) and from here on out, all my fics will be published there a little earlier than theyre posted here, which some of yall may already know bc i linked it on marry me (teehee check it out lolsies) and its in my bio but!! i fuckin forgor!!! to announce the announcement!!
toodloo, i just wanted to make sure everyone knew!
3 notes - Posted January 5, 2022
#3
writing is just ooh a new fic idea ooh a new fic idea ooh a new fic idea ooh a new fic idea ooh a new fic idea ooh a new fic idea ooh a new fic idea ooh a new fic idea ooh a new fic idea ooh a new fic idea ooh a new-
8 notes - Posted January 18, 2022
#2
liability
word count: 836
warning(s): lots of angst, hurt with comfort, relationship issues, cursing, an argument
Read on AO3
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Songs were something that could get caught in Harley's head easily, but conversations never stayed. They were too fleeting, too quick, and he was too spontaneous for them to ever even make sense, much less be remembered.
When he and Peter started dating, he tried desperately to hoard every word, to keep every cadence in his mind, because one thing he could remember were the lessons he learned and one he could never forget was that everyone left. He didn't want Peter to leave but that wasn't something he could control, so at the very least, he could make the memories stay.
And then Peter started leaving and leaving and leaving and coming back and leaving and every time he did, he would always remember another lesson he learned too young, the lesson that you have to leave before you get left.
It's like a song, that one cynical dance of words playing in his mind over and over, a background track to an argument he should've seen coming.
What the fuck are you doing to yourself? Can't you stop? For me?
It's not that easy.
You don't have to do everything you can do just because you can! Take a goddamn break, won't you?
I can't take a goddamn break, Jesus. Do you even hear yourself?
I don't think I'm asking for too much here. Oh, but he was, he was, he was.
You have to leave before you get left.
No, of course you don't.
See the full post
29 notes - Posted February 28, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
marry me
word count: 2712
warning(s): references to fics i've never written, cursing, dialogue heavy, and my brand of self-indulgence (also the word uwu is said. im so sorry)
Read on AO3
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"Peach, toss me the wrench, would you?" Clang! "Thanks, and also the—" Clang! "Oh, yep, that's better actually." Bzzzzzzzt. "Perfect, marry me." Thwack! "I meant thank you!"
'*'*'*'
"Harleyyyy! HAAARLEEEEEYYYY!"
"What? Where's the invasion?" Slap!
"Pick your stupid fuckin' socks up! Tits and their respective gods, I have to do everything around here and there ain't no pay in New York Cit-ay."
"You could always marry me for tax benefits if you're that worried—"
"And pick your stuff up for the rest of my life? I would rather eat my shirt. Better not see anything in the lab!"
"Mhm."
"..."
"…"
Wham! "Harley Fuckin' Keener, why did you leave YOUR socks on MY stuff? Stop laughing!"
'*'*'*'
See the full post
62 notes - Posted January 4, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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astrobydalia · 3 years
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💫New Year Observations🌟
Hope you’re having a great new year guys! Currently working on a post about physical appearance!
Credit: Tumblr blog @astrobydalia
🌟 Anything that touches Uranus in your chart in a harmonious aspect are the things you’re willing to be experimental about. Hard aspects (conjunction to a lesser extent) can make you a bit reluctant
💫 Scorpio placements are not taken aback by sexual topics AT ALL but they can really dislike it when people talk about sex in a very vulgar and nonchalant way or they simply won’t partake in that type of talk
🌟 The worst thing you can do when it comes to scorpio placements is trying to cross their boundaries (lying to them is a close second). When it comes to boundaries, Scorpios just won’t budge so if they don’t wanna say something or they don’t wanna do something don’t insist, don’t try to convince them (much less manipulate them) bc they WON’T. For Scorpios “no” it’s not just a full sentence, it’s a STATEMENT
💫 Juno in the 4th or conjunct the IC in the solar return chart can point to getting married in a privet ceremony, while Juno in the 10th house it’s quite the opposite (this is only if the overall solar return indicates marriage taking place of course)
🌟 Sagittarius personal placements really do be lucky AF but they don’t see it or just take it for granted. People often ask them how are they so lucky but they don’t see it as a big deal🤷🏽‍♀️
💫 You’d think this is Sagittarius but pisces personal placements giggle very often, it’s so easy to make them laugh
🌟 Nodal conjunctions in synastry (personal planets in TIGHT conjunction to the nodes) is an incredibly binding aspect and makes for a very significant relationship in your life. However the reason it is this way is because this relationship serves an important purpose, once said purpose is done so is the relationship (specially with the North node) and usually the lesson is mainly aimed at the node person tho the planet person can also be significantly changed by this relationship. Therefore, the relationship will last however long it takes for the purpose to be completed; could be a couple of years, a life time, who knows.
💫 I’ve noticed Sagittarius placements can be very irritable and have anger issues (you’d think Aries would be like this but nah) specially when combined with fire or air moon/mars
🌟 People with Juno in Libra or in the 7th will look to marry the love of their life and their soulmate. This of course doesn’t mean you won’t marry your soulmate if you don’t have this bc Juno IS your soulmate. The sign Juno is placed in signifies the type of soulmate you want. People with Juno in Libra want that Disney movie type of soulmate 
💫 Following the last point, people with Juno in Aquarius will marry their best friend. They’ll be friends with their spouse first rather than have a movie romance with them like Juno in Libra people
🌟 I’ve noticed that people with Jupiter, Mars or Venus in the 8th can come off as very slutty to people bc they are sexually open and self-indulgent
💫 People with moon, Vertex or Juno in the 7th house are the type of people who are always in a relationship
🌟 Vigo placements can come off as competitive bc they just LOOOVVEE proving people WRONG!
💫 I’ve noticed that the most repeated placements for people who are vegan/vegetarian are water risings, taurus placements, 6th house, 8th house, 11th house and 12th house placements
🌟 It’s no secret that Scorpio mercuries can cut with their words but I really think that Virgo placements can easily rival Scorpio mercuries when it comes to this like SERIOUSLY. Virgo placements can be extremely judgmental, they will throw facts and criticism regardless of how it sounds and could have a “well that was offensive but it was the truth so🤷🏽‍♀️” type of mentality. And I think no body talks about this but VIRGO PLACEMENTS CAN BE VERY DETACHED specially when they trying to prove a POINT. I have legit witnessed and experienced virgo placements making people cry with how cut-throat and judgmental they can be seriously don’t underestimate virgos
💫 Common rulerships in the charts of celebrities (hope this isn’t confusing lol): 
Ruler of the 10th in the 10th or the 11th house 
Ruler of the 11th in the 10th or 11th house 
Ruler of the 11th or 10th in the 8th, 9th and 1st house 
Also less frequent ruler of the 11th or 10th in the 2nd house 
Ruler of the ASC in the 1st, 2nd, 8th and 12th houses
🌟 Capricorn, Aries, Scorpio, Aquarius, Leo mars people really dislike being interrupted once they set their attention into something
💫 I have a theory that the house where you have Neptune indicates the type of movies and shows you like
🌟 Fire moons are honestly hit and miss. They are all incredibly likable people but they can be very self-centered/selfish once you get to know them. I wouldn’t call Aries moons selfish per se I’d call them reckless, check my aries moon post for more. Surprisingly, I’ve seen Sagittarius moons being more narcissistic and entitled than Leo moons. Leo moons can have a lot of ego but can have lots of insecurities deep down and be put down way too easily and they are the most generous out of all the fire moons. Leo moons are extremely giving and genuine but many times they are way too preoccupied with being liked, prised and recognized (which can make them selfish). Sagittarius moons tho are the type to actually believe they are the SHIT or low-key believe they are better or above anything else, when underdeveloped they can be obnoxious, arrogant and overbearing. When developed they are the most generous and the best friends ever but they are definitely the most entitled too
💫 12th house synastry is way more karmic and can be more intense and uncomfortable than 8th house synastry, even if it’s just subconsciously. Basically 12th house synastry is what people think 8th house synastry is, except there’s no sexual factor here (unless planets say otherwise) and there’s 0 sense of control in either party (you’re not sure what’s going on) which might drive y’all crazy
🌟 People with Mars-Neptune aspects can actually be into pain bc it gives them a sense of escape. I’ve seen this aspect in people who get sexually turned on by pain or in people who cut themselves or self-harm
Credit: Tumblr blog @astrobydalia
MORE OBSERVATIONS:
Observations pt. I 
Observations pt. II  
Observations pt. III Relationship edition (most popular) 
Observations pt. IV Spooky edition
Observations pt. V
Observations pt. VI LGBT edition
Observations pt. VII Chiron edition 
Observations pt.VIII
Observations pt. IX Aries moons 
Observations pt. X
Observations pt. XI
Observations pt. XII Scorpio Risings
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thebarbaricbeast · 3 years
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astro notes mini cause im in the middle of a zoom meeting....part 3
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Aries in a Virgo degree especially in the inner planets could get easily irritated or mad
mercury in Scorpio have long term memory mercury in Gemini have short term memory.....just an observation
aquarius placements are bad bitches they probably started planning their business at 12 years old. and they are so excited to move out of the house lol they just want their independence...
moon in the 3rd house culture is deciding to wake up because the any electronic is on, the smell of food, guests over, just stimulation. if there is no stimulation or uniqueness from the day before they probably wont get out of bed same with mars/moon in Gemini, Aquarius moon, mars/moon in Sagittarius and mars/moon in libra
Lilith is the moon's errors and inaccuracy in its orbit which creates this dark feminine energy opposite the moon which is the divine receptive and submissive feminine. Lilith rebels against being submissive and receptive and dependable. the moon's faults are very unpredictable and are not foreseeable or calculated by observers this is what make Lilith so unpredictable and hard to maintain. the moon and Lilith naturally makes a square but if the moon and Lilith are in signs that makes an easy aspect this will smoothen the square. if there is a square and opposition on top of that then it will create an arena where the devil and god are at war meaning the dark feminine is at war with the "angelic" and divine feminine. This becomes the most powerful aspect Lilith can have. im gonna stop there lol this post is getting too long.....
having libra placement with some impulsive placements is very hard to maintain. libra is naturally passive aggressive but a aspect like "moon aspect pluto or moon to the mars" can have outbursts of outrage that no one saw coming
woman with harsh venus-jupiter aspect can be extremely frugal with money or extremely careless meaning they could buy the whole mall lol
venus in Sagittarius usually listen to an extreme of something for example extreme rap or rock if aspecting the moon they could skip songs alot
saggittarians with alot of pluto aspects or scorpio placements could have a "dont fuck with my freedom" vibe
i think taurus are the best actors. they have the ability to fabricate intense energy to act or perform
Pluto in the 12th house people could impact people for generations its like all people who are born will have a fundamental understanding on this person..ex: marilyn monroe
Lilith Aries/Aquarius culture is wearing red to a funeral
vesta is another feminine asteroid i like to think of it as mars and venus together with some Neptune........its a feminine spiritual flame that allows your to acquire goals.she relates to spiritual practices,work and devotion
Vesta being involved with Pluto could be seen in witchcraft or could be this edgy type of feminine
Scorpio risings with Jupiter aspects could be very intimidating they usually have a long nose...
i see alot of taurus that are veryyyyyy edgy like emo clothing and black and red orrrr ......just very simple clothing lol
mercury in aspect to asteroid sappho is a person that is very very good with their words they can lure people in with just a breath from their lips
sappho in aspect to Lilith is more of a captivating sexual nature.very sexually creative and if in hard aspect it could create someone that is excessively self indulgent in expressing their sexually or has trouble expressing their sexual side or it can be using their attraction to absorb negative things they could use to manipulate people(the opposite sex) to get what they want
moon in hard aspect with the ascendant are incredibly good at lying
they say Capricorn,scorpio,leo, and aries are more favorable placements for the midheaven although it willl do well i think Aquarius,libra,pisces and saggitaurius are very great too. aquarius relates to Independence, ideas, communities, and humans this is very good for a person that makes huge impact on the world. libra relates to justice, peace, relationships, and love/romance. i have never seen a libra mc native who was not welll liked unless there are harsh aspects affecting it. these people can really be anyone they want to be ..as president they could restore justice and peace and they could be huge business owners since libra is a cardinal sign which are known as the executives. everybody is attracted to these people and ive seen it could succeed in doctors too. pisces mcs are just amazing they help so much and they help the underdogs they are what keeps our communities alive. Sagittarius are the best leaders preferably in the midheaven they can lead nations and teach and inspire tons of people. they strive for knowledge and expand horizons and lands. they could expand countries as leaders and they could restore education. virgos mc are one of my faves too they are opposite pisces mc who are more inclined in the arts. they see the more practical approach in helping people. no matter what they have in their birth charts this placement will compel them to serve the world.
fortune conjunct jupiter in the birth chart is very important. it is a strong indicator of some type of success in life but the person has to go through long journeys to arrive there and pick up great knowlege.
lilith square the ascendant people might have strange marks or scars on their body that they never knew were there from time to time
mars square the ascendant might have had an ingury to remember as a child Pluto conjunct the ascendant in Sagittarius too
moon in a fire sign really crave a partner that is patient, understanding and really good with money.
i think Lilith in libra is the most dangerous Lilith sign because they are frighteningly charming. what they tend to is make people fall in love with them then impose them in a very manipulative way to express their undying love for them.if they feel that the love is not enough they leave the person in search for another men/woman or continue to manipulate the person into doing so. they do this to make themselves feel better because of an experience they will face or have faced in their life they feel the need for a partner to love them and if they dont feel its enough they will leave...unless they actually like this person but it happens......very manipulative in relationships. this would probably be the most unbalanced libra placement.
moon harsh aspect juno either attracts very emotional partners or partners that are emotionally absent....might be on their phones during dates alot lol
pluto harsh aspect to juno attract partners that want to control them...very jealous and protective
scorpio in the 4th house people are veryyyyy protective and they might be parents who teach their kids "the hard way"...they might have seaky children and children who are distant or children that are very clingy ...they know everything their child is thinking at all times...
every water moon hated going to school as a child( like kindergarten or pre-k) cause they didn't want their mommy to leave..probably frequent calls because they wanted "mommy" to come pick them up or really hates leaving their mom and entering school alone.
pluto in the 5th house people probably lost their virginity at a young age or just done something.....not good as a child...like steal a car etc
venus in the 8th/scorpio might be tempted to be exotic dancers lol or leo/libra in the 8th
sun in the 8th house people have the potential to be really really funny and entertaining. they probably have so much to say and are born with a natural confidence...they give me like god(but underworld) vibes and they are not afraid to put someone in their place. they would probably be involved in drama or just not care at all. (in school)......they have anger issues lol
child i just have to say that Sagittarius guys can be jerks....but not all of them but most of them lol
if you ever meet a immature scorpio you should probably run they will ruin your life...veryyyyy manipulative and they can be liars...verrry jealous........"if i cant have you know one can vibe" in a relationship.
scorpio risings can do weird thing with their bodies like with their tongues or fingers etc
venus square the ascendant people probably have this one feature that they really hate on their body.....
moon in water signs people tend to lie alot when it comes to situations with emotional pressure especially if this is in a air degree.
ive noticed that alot of people are jealous of leo risings
jupiter in the 1st house people love attention. they shower in it and they can do reckless things in in the middle of the spotlight
people with moon in Sagittarius probably had a mother that let the dad take charge or gave the kid space to explore life. Sagittarius moons probably went through alot.
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yostresswritinggirl · 3 years
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@butterfly-mochi​ Rewrote this freaking thing thrice because it keeps getting deleted wth tumblr agjvahkfajkvk- I enjoyed writing it a lot tho and since I’m too weak to the characters I ended up writing for all of them (except for Sucrose, im sorry bb huhu, I ran out of brain power). This is my first time writing for so many of them in one go so please excuse me for any mistakes or blandness ywy thank you for letting me write for my baby Ganyu too hhhhh
Universe Reversal 2
Genshin Impact Character Reader and Modern Players with Zhongli, Childe & Ganyu (how they simp for you) (event masterlist / Part 1 / Part 3)
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Zhongli the F2P
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The most relatable out of the bunch because this man is still broke and can only rely on the primogems he can farm. And he had a LOT. The one thing he doesn’t have a lot on, however, is his luck.
So how did he manage to pull you?: Well after exhausting all his primogem on your banner with nothing but weapons and other characters, he has lost his resolve. But by some weird luck, there was a character bug that was fixed and in his email was the almighty consolation primogem. Enough for ONE pull. And by the Gods he FINALLY got you.
He’d nonchalantly post his screenshot of pulling you using a single acquaint fate in his friend group without any words and everyone else just loses their shit. “You got them in one pull?!” “Yeah” A riot.
This was partnered with the fact that not only is Zhongli an F2P player, but also barely has any five star characters.
He looks calm and apathetic over the news, but behind the screen he’s exhausted and relieved, silently livid.
He has no primogems left to squeeze for a constellation so you’re instead pampered with the best weapon suitable for you (because that’s all he keeps getting).
Zhongles spends most of his time farming for materials to quickly level you up, unlocking all your stories and voiceline, but he fucked up on your build (his artifacts are messy).
He follows communities, forums and videos regarding your character to know all the things he needs to perfect your build. You can barely make a dent against normal mobs, so he knew he was doing something VERY wrong.
Is the type of person to keep refreshing the page for new content, very updated.
Ask him a question about your character and he’s gonna bring you the word vomit that is his research. He’s not gonna stop- probably accidentally developed a copypasta for you.
Also follows your VA in both Tiktok and Twitter to indulge in every bit of content. He also has that screenshot of his pull saved and locked.
On his birthday, a friend of his gifted him a chibi plushie of you and he has treasured it ever since, treating and handling it like its a figurine.
“It is merely pure luck and grace from the gacha gods that I got this character, and I will make sure that they know I am very grateful for this fortune.”
Favorite Voiceline: Birthday Message
Childe The Whaler
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This lucky wealthy bastard with no remorse for his money whales for EVERY character. He’s making a collection, which is to get all the characters, especially the five stars. So when your banner finally popped up, he’s gonna square up and trigger a whole ass meteor shower.
How he pulled you: Money. His luck with this games are actually not the best so he always compensates with money, he got you halfway through the first failed pity, almost giving him a heart attack that he might actually break the bank just to get you.
And then he pulls more to raise your constellation lol.
The first thing he does is look over your character info and read through it all; constellation infos, your base stats, artifact compatibility.
At the end when he’s maximized everything, he would then focus on playing around with your character *coughs climbing noises coughs*
He thought you’d just be another part of his collection but playing with your character was very enjoyable and in-line with his playstyle- oops 100 screenshots with the Kamera-
Any and all merchandise that he fancies would be his, and he’s definitely flexing it to the other sweetie nerds who call themselves simps. He’s fighting for the simping title, and he’s currently neck and neck with this fanartist in Pixiv.
Speaking of that fanartist, he definitely commissioned an expensive and detailed portrait of you, full rights and everything. No one else was allowed to use it but him.
Was also the first one with the audacity to call out your VA to create an account on Tiktok to create more content with your voice. He was successful.
His obssession also comes in the form of self-indulgent contents, and had been keeping track of the ship wars happening. During conventions, he cosplays as the character shipped with you the most (or the character he thinks should end up with you).
Silently scrutinizing those who cosplay you, only ever taking pictures with/of the best looking one, sorry haha
Definitely flaunts that you are his waifu/husbando and will fight for best girl/best boy during debates or polls. Has mobilized the community to vote for you once. He’s very persuasive.
“Hm? Why I’m just the best collector in the game, and I am more than happy to let everyone know that I am their number one fan haha, everyone who claims otherwise is definitely wrong!”
Favorite Voiceline: More About (Y/N) I-IV, (Y/N)’s Hobbies...
Ganyu the Employed
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Ganyu, our dearest overworker, is one of the players in the older stage who actually has a job but still plays Genshin for their past times. The gorgeous sceneries and the music is her main focus in playing the game, not much of a try-hard but still decent in the combat mechanics.
How she pulled you: You came home within 50 pulls! And you appeared again after another 10 pull! Ganyu was so SHOOKT and so distressed because oh goodness, what does she do? She doesn’t know anything much about you!
Will rewatch your three trailers to try and understand your skills better, ended up saving the soundtracks from them because that was such a nice trailer music! Tnbee gains a new follower!
Ganyu will take a while before she can properly play or build you up because she’s so busy with work, she only ever plays when she feels fully done with her work.
During her break she plays with your character while multi-tasking on eating, earphones plugged in and sight on the phone as she farms materials and artifacts for you.
The moment she gets more help from her player friends tho, holy shit, you just ended up being so OP. She had so many good artifacts and weapons for you because she didn’t know what they were for before.
She loves how you’re so easy to use and can easily solo the enemies and even the boss fights. A huge breather, because now Ganyu can cheese the battles that takes a while, to give her more time to focus on the storyline and lores.
Since Ganyu plays for the story and aesthetic, she’ll find you almost always in her team. Still very proud of her pull, she makes the best screenshots of your fights or in the best angle through exploration.
Treasures you so much she starts talking to her phone- “Ah, no, please don’t fall.” “There’s violetgrass up there, let’s try and get it”
Blushes everytime you produce a sound when climbing, doesn’t change you anyways tho
Hums to your trailer music while working, and if permitted, would have the song on repeat while she buries herself in work. She finds it really refreshing and the time she spends in work miraculously flies by fast when she gets lost in the sound.
At one point, when she was given a day-off or if the convention was on her free time, she attends to look for cosplayers of you and take a picture. No one rejects her because she’s so adorable and cute when asking shyly.
Had brought a decent amount of merchandise, preferably the functional/practical ones like a phone cover, mug or keychain. Also has an earphones clamp with your little chibi self as the holder.
When asked, she would shyly announce that she likes your character the most.
“Their character theme and music really soothes me during work, it feels nice to have them, and I have not once regretted ever pulling for them. They are the best.”
Favorite Voicelines: Good Night/Afternoon..., About Us, Something To Share..., Interesting Things...
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so enjoyable...
@moaa @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @dandelion-dreams @snackgod @rxsalinee
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If ur still doing that ask game uh 002 metadede ship wishlist :D
mario WAHOO noise great job starting self-indulgent hours anon (thank you)
002 | Send me a ship and I will tell you:
When I started shipping them:
i had to check my archives for this. apparently the first metadede post i reblogged was january 2020, but looking at that post i think i shipped them even a bit before that. i do very clearly remember however, when i first joined the fandom and saw that ship, that i thought it was weird and that i thought shipping kirby characters/circles in general was kinda weird. hahahahaha oh my gosh look at me now
My thoughts:
they're idiots 💖 they make each other lose braincells and feed each others bad ideas. more than that, they know that they dont have to act a certain way in front of each other. they dont need to impress or feel like they need to set an certain example, so they can really relax and have fun. adult to adult friendship 🤝
What makes me happy about them:
okay okay repeating myself a lot around here but hey two sole adults with a long history. hating each other but then being forced to get to know each other and then LEARNING TO RESPECT AND ESTABLISH MUTUAL TRUST. im so weak for enemies to friends i cant get over it 🤦‍♂️
What makes me sad about them:
hmmm nothing? i loooove drama between these two lmao so very little could make me sad about them. unless in canon they said explicitly they dont trust each other that would be sad 👎
Things done in fanfic that annoys me:
i don't actually read that much fanfic, i think the metadedes ive read were just oneshots/otherwise really short and im gonna be honest i dont remember what happens in most of them. trying my best though, im gonna answer this with i think conflicts are solved too easily. its like one snuggle later and everythings okay. to be fair most metadede centered fics are fluff/comfort so whatever you know, i dont go in expecting that stuff from it
Things I look for in fanfic:
as said before i dont read much fanfic, especially long fanfic. i like short oneshots :) but if i did read long fanfic 👇 see below
My wishlist:
*deep breath* i want more metadede content where they drive in the enemies to friends to lovers. i want them to be the biggest mess ever and argue all the time and be petty and kick each others asses before they understand each other. the kf2 novel was pretty fun in that regard. this might be an unpopular opinion but as i said before just hhrhrhghg when theres stuggle it makes the end result more rewarding. the boys gotta work for their happy end
Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:
meta with whoever honestly, theres a ton of candidates out there. metagala or metaroach esp though. and dedede i guess with queen ripple. i dont ship those two but i hc that dedede had a crush on her for a while
My happily ever after for them:
kinda thought about this before and its a bittersweet answer. not cause i love sad stuff and drama in my ship this time surprisingly.
meta loves doing his own thing. taking some stuff from the novels (i think puppet princess in this case) he likes living freely, that's why he doesn't serve under anyone or take orders. he travels the universe a lot for one reason or another, and i think he can't live without exploring and adventuring. compared with dedede who likes being grounded in one place to protect everyone and cant leave dreamland, their lifestyles are incompatible. i cant imagine them settling down together like couples usually would. best case scenario i have is meta is only out some parts of the year, so he visits and lives in dreamland as much as he can, and he calls dedede often when he cant. bit of a long distance relationship :')
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starglow-xx · 3 years
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retrouvaille
nakajima atsushi x f!reader
fandom: bungou stray dogs
content: hurt comfort, fluff
warning! : mentions of abuse
type of work: one-shot
synopsis: he left the orphanage, and that meant he had to leave you too; fortunately, this time, it seems like the universe was on your side
a/n: this is kinda self indulgent bc ive been feeling kinda down lately...?? and this has been sitting in my drafts for a while now and i havent posted in a while so killing three birds w/ one stone ig
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the word retrouvaille is a french noun...
The moment you stepped foot into the armed detective agency, heterochromia eyes met your (e/c) ones.
You notice several agents talking and walking over to assist you, but you drown them out only having focus on the gray haired male ten feet away from you.
Said male takes a small step forward with uncertainty and disbelief laced in his voice.
“(y-y/n)...?” 
At the sound of your name, your eyes immediately begin to water and with pure relief in your voice, you softly sob his name; the name of the boy who comforted you when you were both still in that wretched place.
“Atsushi...”
With all hesitation gone, Atsushi runs over to you shoving through his surprised and confused coworkers and wraps his arms tightly around you.
The force of the hug causes the both of you to stumble and harshly crash to the ground beneath you.
But the two of you didn’t care.
In his arms was a person Atsushi thought he’d never be able to see again.
In his arms was the same girl who snuck him food from the kitchens, the girl who stole medical supplies from the infirmary to treat his wounds, to take care of him when he was sick, and the girl who received punishment after punishment for insisting on staying with him inside his damn cell.
You gave him happiness in place where he should’ve never been able to receive it.
As if he ever felt like he deserved it in the first place.
You’re too good for him, but yet you still chose him.
You, his sweet and kind, his so very kind, and so very beautiful girlfriend, chose him, the cursed, good for nothing orphan.
The orphanage staff treated you considerably better before the two of you were acquainted, so Atsushi knew he was the problem. That he was the reason why tears would fall onto your beautiful face, why bruises and scars would litter your arms and legs, and why the staff would call you awful, degrading nicknames about you and or your virtue.
He had always thought that he wasn’t good for you, that he didn’t deserve you, that you could do better, but you stayed by his side regardless of his fears and insecurities, and provided him the strength and comfort he had always been deprived of.
And to his very surprise, he found that you found your own strength and comfort in him.
So he knew that you must of cried for weeks after he was kicked out, that you must’ve been devastated to wake up one morning only to learn that he was gone without a trace.
There wasn’t a single day that he never thought of you.
Atsushi wanted to go back for you, he really did; he wanted to storm into the orphanage with members of the armed detective agency, his new family, right at his tail before eventually reuniting with you.
But he didn’t do that.
Ultimately, he chose to leave you out of the mess that came with his job knowing that you would be eventually targeted and used against him if anyone found out about what he had with you.
So he kept quiet.
No mafioso, government agent, foreign organization, nor agency member had a clue about your connection with him, much less your existence.
He told himself that when things have calmed down by a considerable amount, he would go back and get you, with or without the agency backing him up.
Unfortunately, he knew that time of peace was far from the present.
But to see you, in your beautiful glory, standing at the threshold of the agency? 
His original plan to keep you away from Yokohoma flew out the damn window. 
At the sight of you, his heart did backflips and his legs almost gave out. 
Ignoring the jelly feeling in his legs and the loud pounding of his heart, he raced around the desks and his coworkers—nearly fully crashing into Dazai in the process—to once more engulf you into his arms.
As for you?
When you saw him, you felt like you were going to pass out.
Your legs grew weak, your entire body was shaking, and tears started to fall down your face.
He was here.
He was safe and he was alive.
You mourned his abrupt disappearance from the orphanage and spent most of your time worrying about his well being.
The staff thought you were pathetic, that you sulked and cried over someone who they thought should disappear off the face of the earth.
They could insult and beat you all you want, but you drew the line when it came to Atsushi.
Finally having enough of everything, you planned your escape.
You were patient; you never jumped the gun nor gave anything away. You planned everything to the very last, minute detail, and after a few more months of abuse and waiting, you put your plan into action and left in the dead of night.
Thankfully, a kind old couple took you after you had collapsed in the streets. You worked job after job after job to return everything they had spent on your behalf even after they had told you not to worry about it.
And after another few weeks, you finally caught wind of your lost boyfriend tracking him down to Yokohoma through an old newspaper article.
Knowing your boyfriend, and yourself, you knew that tears would easily escape both of your eyes due to the long duration of your separation, but you weren’t expecting to find yourself crashing onto the floors of the armed detective agency curtesy of Atsushi. 
But, you wouldn’t have it any other way because in your arms was the boy who gave you comfort during the most darkest days in the orphanage, the boy who laid you in his lap or on his stomach stroking your hair so you would fall asleep, and the boy who often threw himself in front of you so you would remain unharmed.
You choked on your sobs as you tightened your own hold on him and they gradually grew louder as you buried your face into the shoulder of his white button up.
Through his own choked sobs and teary eyes, Atsushi gently maneuvered the two of you so that you would be lying on his stomach—a familiar position the two of you would lay in back in the orphanage.
He gently stroked his fingers through your hair and softly rubbed your back as he whispered the familiar sweet nothings into your ears.
“It’s okay, I’ve got you.”
“I’m okay, you’re okay, we’re okay...”
“I’m here, just let it all out..”
Overwhelmed with your emotions, his sweet words only started to make you cry more.
You’ve missed him so much.
Your tears easily soaked his both his shirt and his neck, and you tried to speak only for you to choke up. Atsushi simply just started to shush you—as you would to a baby—and placed a kiss to your forehead as he continued to comfortingly stroke your hair and rub your back.
With the both of you off into your own little world, a world consisting only of the two of you, reactions and looks from the Armed Detective Agency went unnoticed.
It didn’t take long for them to realize the kind of relationship you and Atsushi had.
But what surprised them was Atsushi’s behavior.
The young adult they knew tended to be unsure of everything, including himself, and stammered whenever he was nervous.
But the young adult currently in front of them had this new aura of maturity; he didn’t hesitate to touch you or to comfort you, and for the first time they’ve seen in a while, he was sure of himself; he wasn’t nervous at all.
With the amount of comfortability Atsushi had around you, and the tender, loving care he showered you in, it was clear that you certainly were someone special to their tiger.
Your sobs slowly turned to small hiccups, and Atsushi’s face turned to one of pure tranquility and content, having his lover back in his arms.
Although having calmed down, what Atsushi said to you next made you want to start bawling all over again.
“I’m sorry I left you, and I promise I didn’t forget about you,” he whispered softly, “I thought of you every day. I still do. The thought of being able to see you again is what kept me going.”
You buried yourself further into his shoulder as you gripped his white button up in your hands.
“And thanks to the armed detective agency, I’m stronger now. I won’t let anybody hurt you, not anymore. That, I promise you.”
Actually taking a look up from you, Atsushi ended up locking eyes with Dazai, who had a gentle look on his face.
His senior only closed his eyes, tilted his head down softly, and lightly chuckled before opening his brown eyes once more, giving Atsushi a look of approval.
The gray haired teen’s eyes widened slightly as he looked around the room only to be met with similar looks of approval and gentleness from his seniors and coworkers.
He felt his eyes tear up again, but instead let out a relieved sigh as he tightened his hold on you slightly.
“Hey Atsushi...” you softly murmured.
Equally as soft, he answered, “Yes (y/n)?”
“...I love you...”
Your lover smiled before placing another kiss onto your forehead.
“I love you too (y/n)”
At last, the girl he loved was back in his arms, and the boy you loved was back within your reach.
And neither of you were ever going to let each other go again.
and it means, the joy of meeting or finding someone again after a long separation, a rediscovery
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as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3
writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason
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notchesandbullets · 3 years
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Saving Her (Ojiro Mashirao x Wolf!Reader)
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A/N: dedicated to the anon who wanted me to write a oneshot about ojiro giving the reader a gift, this fanfic is for you 💖💖 this is incredibly self-indulgent and ive been working on it for over a month now. its almost done but i’ll post what i have so far, i hope you like it!!
Contains reluctant Aizawa to soft Dadzawa, annoying brother Shinsou, pure Eri-chan, bakugou's notorious cursing, sweet and innocent fluff between reader-chan and Ojiro. First friend Ojiro to best friend and then lover. Featuring the rest of Class 1-A and them acting like hooligans.
Part 1: Crashing into Ojiro, Room Competition, meeting Class 1-A and Aizawa, who has some bad news for you when you’re discovered.
Word Count: 7k 
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The sun was setting, casting a golden glow over the busy city of Musutafu.
Ojiro had planned on taking Tokoyami with him, but his friend was still in the middle of unpacking as he was leaving.
He was on the way back to the dorms from the grocery store with a bag of ingredients and sweets as per Sato's request. It was a bit longer of a walking distance since he was so used to coming from his house and would take some getting used to, now that Heights Alliance was his home.
The streets weren't any busier than usual, but when he saw something flicker out of the corner of his eyes off to the side, he couldn't help but feel as though something was wrong.
Maybe it was his hero blood or something stronger but he didn't waste any time diving into action.
As he rounded the corner, his eyes widened as someone crashed into him, nearly toppling him over. He caught his balance just in time, steadying the person that had collided into his chest but not before he saw it.
Blood matting down your hair had his heart dropping in horror. You were trembling in his arms, positively terrified and it didn't take long to figure out what the cause of your stress was when two more figures slinked out of the shadows.
Ojiro acted quickly, using his tail to whisk the two of you higher until you were out of sight. He curled his arms tightly but carefully around your waist, making sure that you wouldn't fall.
Thanks to Ectoplasm's guidance, he had refined his skills and learned how to be unpredictable.
It wasn't until you two were safely on top of the nearest roof did he loosen his grip. Leaning over the edge cautiously, he watched the strangers bolt off in opposite directions, presumably to look for you. He was pretty sure they didn't see him take you away but he wasn't completely certain. Pulling back, he released you from his hold. But he didn't take any offense to the way you practically flew from his touch.
He could see it in your eyes. Fear as deep as yours shouldn't ever be allowed to get that far, for anyone.
You hugged your trembling body with your arms, desperately willing the anxiety to die down so that you could think straight. All you could think about was running. Far, far away where no one could get to you.
"Ah... sorry to take you away so suddenly like that, but it looked like you seemed to be in trouble." Ojiro apologized.
His sheepish tone made you finally break out of your thoughts and for a moment, the two of you didn't say anything, both of you enamored with the other as you got a proper look.
He didn't think he had ever seen anyone as beautiful as you before. Round orbs blinking up at him curiously, your fuzzy ears perched on top of your head perked up as you met his gaze, bushy tail twitching behind you.
As for you, your mouth dried at the sight of your savior. His golden hair and kind smile made your heart skip a beat for reasons unknown to you. You couldn't stop your tail from thumping excitedly against the rooftop when you saw his tail.
It was much bigger and looked much stronger than yours was and you couldn't stop from bounding over to it eagerly, stretching out a tentative hand to touch it.
But you halted at the last second and recoiled, expecting to be punished for your behavior.
Ojiro frowned, taking notice of your trepidation and offered you an encouraging smile. "It's okay, you can touch it if you'd like."
He lifted his tail slightly, inviting your curiosity forth and a bit nervously, you reached out your hand once again. A wide smile split your features as you felt the soft, short fur underneath, your other hand going up to pet your ears, as if to compare the softness.
Ojiro couldn't help but match your smile at that, finding it adorable. Tucking his legs underneath him so that you could still play with his tail, he breached the topic sensitively.
"What's your name?" He asked quietly. "Who were those guys that were after you?"
At first, you seized up and for a minute there, he was worried he went about asking you the wrong way. But a deep sigh left your lungs and testing the waters, you timidly introduced yourself and began to explain in a concise way, your current situation.
You honestly weren't entirely sure how you got there.
But one bad thing after another landed you in a pretty rough neighborhood notorious for Quirk Traffickers. They looked for people with unique abilities that would sell well on the black market. People paid a lot of money to own those they deemed exotic, particularly kids and teens with quirks that had an effect on their physical appearance.
You were no exception, having been cursed with an extremely rare wolf quirk. All it ever brought you was trouble.
You had heard that quirks were hereditary but yours definitely wasn't. You don't know which ancestor it came from when it appeared out of the blue.
Tiny fangs, fluffy ears and a tail emerged one day. But your excitement of discovering it was short-lived when you were abandoned by your parents the very next day. They had found it disgusting.
Young and innocent, you wandered the streets, not sure what you were supposed to do. That's when they caught you.
You bounced from one owner to another, never staying in one place for very long. You had been brought back to their base of operations in Japan, your last master less than satisfied with you since all you did was hide out of fear of everyone, lashing out when he tried to approach you.
You may or may not have bitten a guest when they tried to touch your ears.
Back in your homeland, that's when you saw your opening.
You didn't know what propelled your legs to start running from the men but pretty soon you were out of breath and out of options. Alone in the alleyway, but not for long, you frantically scanned for an escape route.
And that's when you crashed into him.
A shadow fell over Ojiro's face as he heard you explain your past, hands balling into fists at his sides. He wouldn't stand behind while someone was tormenting you. No hero would allow something like this to continue.
Coming to his decision instantly, he stood up, extending a hand out to you.
"Y/N, will you come with me?" He asked, gaze unwavering. "I think I know where you'll be safe, at least for now."
You paused, skeptical. "I-I... I don't know."
He squatted down beside you, patting your head gently. If there was more time, he would've been more patient but he couldn't help but feel uneasy the longer you guys stayed out in the open. Even if you were out of sight, a rooftop wasn't a permanent place for you to hide out in.
Your eyes went wide but you didn't shrink away. You didn't know why. Anytime someone reached for your head, they always had this glint in their eyes, but this time, he looked desperate.
Desperate for you to believe him.
"You must have a hard time trusting people after all you've been through." Ojiro empathized before urgency seeped into his tone. "I really don't want to leave you alone. My sensei might be able to help you but only if you come with me."
You still didn't look entirely convinced but he didn't blame you.
"If you don't like what he says, then you don't have to listen." Ojiro reassured you easily. "No one's going to force you to do anything. You can make your own choice but let me at least give you more options."
That was what finally made you drop your guard, still wary but choosing to trust him for now. After all, he did save you earlier.
You put your hand in his, cheeks warming as he squeezed it slightly.
"Okay."
The two of you traveled to Heights Alliance, the dormitory for Class 1-A of UA High School. He immediately found his teacher, Aizawa, and told him of your circumstances. The man's rough and rugged appearance caused fear to flash through you but only for an instant.
He concealed it well but he seemed kind. Not outwardly like Ojiro, but it was enough to reassure you for now.
All throughout Ojiro's explanation, you hid behind his broad back, shivering at the way his tail curled around your waist to keep you close to him.
It was weird. It didn't feel restricting like you expected it to, it almost felt protective. You kind of liked it. You giggled as the furry tip of his tail tickled your nose playfully and you batted at it, eyes shining as you momentarily forgot where you were.
Aizawa was silent as his student finished explaining why he had a wolf girl attached to his side, scratching the back of his neck as he racked his brain to come up with a solution that wouldn't land you back in that same place again but also without compromising the safety of his students.
Since you were an orphan and a minor, the police would most likely take you to an orphanage, in which case the people looking for you would certainly find you. Aizawa called Principal Nezu and got permission from him to house you at the dorms until the threat hanging over your head was dealt with by the authorities.
You blinked when he asked you if you wanted to stay with them for the time being while they ironed out all the details and see what could be done for a more permanent residence but accepted his offer with a shy and grateful smile.
Then was the matter of actually carrying it out.
The two wanted to settle you in a room of your own but your ears flattened against your head in distress at the suggestion so they quickly dropped that idea.
Aizawa ran a hand tiredly through his hair, unsure of how to resolve this when you clearly were in danger but didn't want to be left alone. The less people that knew of your whereabouts the better and even though he knew Yaoyorozu would probably do a good job looking after you, you clung to Ojiro's side like glue.
You seemed the most comfortable with him and he figured they could use that for now.
Needless to say, Ojiro was surprised when Aizawa suggested he take care of you until the man could figure out a way to accommodate you without you having an anxiety attack but he readily agreed with a slight blush on his face.
He just wanted you to be safe and happy and he was stunned that his sensei trusted him enough to be responsible for you.
Aizawa promptly handed him a small first-aid kit to take care of the blood smeared on your forehead after ensuring that it wasn't anything serious. It was just a slight nick, shallow enough not to need any stitches since it would heal relatively quickly. He told him to clean it before it got infected and his student nodded seriously.
"You can count on me, Aizawa-sensei!!" Ojiro said, bowing respectfully to thank him for all he had done before leaving.
With Ojiro guiding the way, the two of you snuck through the back door and up into his room for you to get settled in. The other students in his class were bustling around the common floor, moving all their things into their respective rooms, hoping to get it done before dark.
It was loud and chaotic, or maybe that was just your sensitive ears picking up on it more. Curiosity peaked, you peeked around the corner after you ensured you were out of their sight, gaze falling on the activity going on below from the second floor.
Ojiro softly pointed each one of them out, telling you their names as they talked over each other.
"I can't believe we get to live together!!" Ashido exclaimed happily, doing a little dance in front of Hagakure and Uraraka. "This is so exciting!!"
"I can't believe my parents agreed to it!!" The invisible girl commented, undoubtedly puffing out her cheeks.
The red-haired and yellow-haired boys who were wrestling in the corner paused for a second to join in on the girls' conversation.
"Did you have a hard time convincing them?" Kirishima asked, only to be smacked upside the head by Kaminari. "Ow, what the heck man?!"
"Why are you asking such a dumb question?" The electric boy retorted, kicking up his feet and smirking. "She could've always just snuck out of the house if they said no. You know, invisibility quirk and all."
He leaped up with a yelp as something shocked him from behind, whirling around to glare at Jirou, who was twirling her earphone jack around a finger nonchalantly.
She sighed, retracting the other one from where she had send an electric pulse through him. "What an idiot."
Kaminari gripped his hair, nearly tearing it out in frustration. "That's what I'm saying!!"
Sero, who was passing by with a box full of his things, stopped and raised an eyebrow. "You know she's talking about you, right?"
"That's not true!!" Kaminari shouted incredulously.
"It's true." Jirou retorted flatly.
The others in the vicinity burst into laughter and you couldn't help but giggle a bit along with them, muffling the sound behind your hand in fear that they would catch you spying on them.
Ojiro's tail twined around your waist gently, steering you towards the elevators. "C'mon, this way."
That contraption alone was the most nerve-wracking thing you've experienced so far. Luckily, the ride wasn't long but that was the only upside. Your tail swished nervously behind you and you didn't relax until the door to his room on the third floor softly clicked closed behind you.
Ojiro breathed a sigh of relief, glancing up at you. You had made it without being spotted by anyone. Thankfully.
He didn't have many things, so moving in wasn't a problem for him and it didn't take too long. He was one of the first ones to finish, along with Shoji, and helped Sato unpack his things until his friend noticed he needed some more ingredients for the cake he wanted to make later on.
The plastic bag crinkled as he took out the snacks he had found while he was getting Sato more flour and sugar. Your nose twitched cutely and he had to refrain from poking your cheek, lest he scare you off.
Your tail was less frazzled now and he took it as a sign that you were getting accustomed to your surroundings.
His eyes softened as you took in his room, pawing at the neat collection of books on his desk before your attention flitted up to the high shelving above your head.
This time, Ojiro couldn't contain his fond smile as he reached over you to grab what you were longingly looking at.
Your eyes went wide as his chest pressed against your back, he easily reached it since he was taller than you. A small giraffe plushie landed in your hands not long after.
He tilted his head, eyes crinkling at the edges as he smiled at you. "Cute, right?"
His little sister, Holly, gave it to him as a going-away present when he moved into the dorms. He missed her so much already but the presence of this little stuffed giraffe soothed his heart.
You held it so gently, as if you were scared you would destroy it.
"Yeah..." You trailed off quietly and he beamed.
It was his first time hearing your voice so unrestrained and free from the fear that gripped you earlier but nothing could have prepared him for how pure and precious it was. He ruffled your hair gently, being mindful of your fluffy ears and looking out for any signs you were uncomfortable with the affectionate gesture.
But his heart skipped a beat when you closed your eyes at his touch, clearly enjoying it and even going so far as to butt your head against his hand in a silent plea for more pets.
You flushed when he chuckled, obliging you for a minute longer until you were like putty in his hands.
The both of you jumped when a loud crash came from downstairs, accompanied by a flurry of enraged shouting and colorful insults even through the many floors. Ojiro casted a worried glance at you but all his concern melted away when a little giggle left your lips.
Relieved that you didn't seem to be too shaken by the noise, he offered the snacks he bought earlier, taking the package and ripping it open for you when you fumbled with it.
Thanking him quietly, you nibbled on the food gratefully. The flavors exploded in your mouth and you positively beamed, radiating the same pure energy you emitted earlier when you had spoken to him.
Ojiro maneuvered around you, finding what he was looking for pretty quickly.
You looked up curiously when he came back, shifting your weight on your knees, unsure of why he was holding a water bottle in your field of vision.
"I need to treat your cut, is that okay?" He asked, unscrewing the cap and pouring a little bit on the cloth he got from the first-aid kit. He didn't want to startle you, so he narrated what he was doing.
You nodded, setting down your half-eaten cookie carefully and brushed back your tangled hair as much as you could so that it wasn't in the way.
Your breath caught in your throat when he moved closer to you. He angled your chin up, gazing into your eyes as he wiped the blood away first to assess the damage done.
"It's going to sting a little bit." He murmured, preparing the antibiotic.
Squeezing your eyes shut, you gripped onto the lapels of his blazer, practically ripping it as your claws came out when he dabbed the cut. You whimpered in pain, tears leaking out of the corner of your eyes at how much it hurt.
Ojiro faltered, your whimper sending a spike straight through his heart and he hastened, not wanting you to be in pain any longer. But he was thorough, well aware that if he didn't do a good job now, there was a chance you would have to endure it again. As soon as he disinfected it, he applied a couple butterfly closures to aid the healing process.
It wasn't bleeding anymore and he sighed in relief.
You panted heavily when he was finally done. Rubbing your eyes furiously, you blinked through your blurry vision, frantically scanning the room as his warmth suddenly disappeared.
"Y/N-chan?"
The voice was close by but not close enough. Your breathing started to pick up, hands clammy and tail fluffed out. An obvious sign you were stressed.
"Y/N-chan!!"
This time, it was a lot closer and you sank back, relieved beyond belief as the familiar sensation of his tail encircling your waist returned.
You stammered out his name, blindly reaching for him.
"Where did you go?" Your whispered, fingers trembling uncontrollably as he pulled you into his chest.
"Just had to put away the bandages." He reassured you, concerned with how quickly you were to losing it. "Are you okay?"
Your ears flopped back and forth at how vigorously you nodded, as if you needed to convince him like your life depended on it and his mouth twisted into a small frown.
"You don't have to do that." He said, going to pet you once more, smiling in relief as your tail finally stopped lashing behind you.
"... 'm sorry." You mumbled sadly, clutching onto the front of his jacket.
"It's okay." Ojiro replied, stroking your hair to calm you down. "You didn't do anything wrong."
Just how much pain had you endured?
This time when he stood up, you were okay. Somehow comforted that he wasn't going to go anywhere anytime soon, you polished off your snack as he got something else from the closet.
"Here."
You perked up at the sight of the blue hoodie in his outstretched hand.
Ojiro laughed at your expression of awe as you accepted it and ran your fingers over the material. "You seemed cold so how about you hang onto this for now?"
It was one of his lounging hoodies that he didn't wear too often but it was rather warm and would hopefully stop you from shivering. That tattered dress you were wearing looked like it was about to go any second. He didn't want to know how weak your immune system was to be freezing cold in the middle of August.
You beamed happily, bowing repeatedly. "Thank you, Ojiro-san!!"
It had gotten stuck over your head when you tried to pull it down though and with a muffled squeak that gained his attention, he tugged down the hem, smiling when your ears and flushed face popped through.
Just when I thought she couldn't get any cuter... He thought to himself as you began to run around the room, climbing on anything and everything once he told you that he didn't mind.
His clothes swallowed your smaller frame and he found it incredibly endearing with the way you would flap your arms around, claiming you had sweater paws. It fell just above your knees, keeping it modest.
He steered you away from the balcony for now, wanting you to stay where he could keep an eye on you.
After a few more hours of you getting adjusted, you had tuckered yourself out and curled up into a ball on the floor at the foot of his bed.
Ojiro frowned once he noticed you taking a nap on the hard surface, abandoning his studying at his desk to take you in his arms and placing you in his bed.
You stirred, heavy eyelids struggling to open as you croaked out, "W-What? Ojiro-san, what's going on??"
"You can't sleep on the floor, Y/N-chan." He chided lightly. "It's not good for your back."
Sleepy haze diminishing, you bolted upright, nearly smacking him in the face when you realized where he had put you.
"I can't sleep in your bed!!" You burst out incredulously.
Ojiro hushed you, worriedly glancing at the door as if his friends would come barging in without any warning but luckily they didn't. He didn't put it past them but this was one time where he didn't want them to do that.
He tried to ease you back down but you wouldn't obey.
"Don't worry, the sheets are new." He reassured.
His eyebrow furrowed when you shook your head violently from side to side, wondering what you were so worked up about. You tried to climb out and he let you but didn't let you go too far.
"What's wrong?" He asked quickly, the possibility that he had offended you coming to light. "I didn't mean to—"
"I'm not allowed to!!" You suddenly blurted out.
He did a double take and you looked over his shoulder, your eyes darting everywhere else besides him.
Crouching down to your level, he soothed you gently. "Hey, it's okay. What do you mean you're not allowed to?"
You absentmindedly picked at the wound closures on your forehead, swallowing thickly when he took your hand in his to prevent you from messing with the bandages.
"Y/N-chan?" He prompted.
Your mutter was so quiet he had to strain himself to hear you right and when he did, he asked you to repeat it because by All Might was his blood boiling if he heard you correctly.
You gulped, intimidated by the brazen anger in his eyes, fiddling with the hem of his hoodie.
"They said we're animals and called us dirty. We're not supposed to sleep where humans do." With each word, you got quieter until his face was right in front of yours. "They were right... weren't they?"
Squeaking as you got engulfed in a hug, you tensed up and he broke it, apologizing profusely.
"I'm sorry, I just," He ran a hand through his hair, conflicted. "They couldn't be more wrong."
He didn't touch you but he didn't need to for you to feel his warm presence extending out towards you and covering you in the most love you've experienced since your parents left.
"You might have an animal quirk but you're human just like the rest of us and don't deserve to be treated any less than that by anyone." He emphasized, then pounded a fist to his chest. "From now on, I'll look out for you and show you what it's like to be treated like an equal, as a friend, if you'll let me."
Ojiro held out his hand. "Deal?"
You sniffled, unbelievably moved by his kindness after only knowing you for less than a day. "Deal."
You sealed it with a handshake and he gestured to the rumpled bed behind him.
Waving his hand grandly, he proclaimed, "Your napping space awaits."
He internally winced at how corny that sounded but hearing your laughter ring in the air more than made up for it. As he helped you settle beneath the covers, he reassured you constantly but patiently that you really were allowed to sleep in a bed and no, you weren't bothering him or being a burden.
After that, you couldn't fall asleep right away and he really didn't want to study anymore so the two of you talked.
He told you about his family, how he got into UA, stuttering nervously a couple of times only to shoot you a grateful smile when you didn't judge or make fun of him. He told you about his little sister, a cute, precious little girl who was growing up faster than he liked to admit. Retelling and entertaining you with stories of his classmates and their adventures, his tail flicked up excitedly when you started to chime in with experiences of your own.
Things you could remember from your past. Foods you liked, hobbies you had, friends you liked to play with, and he listened attentively through it all. When you started to drift off, you sleepily mumbled offhandedly how you liked it when he patted your head or rubbed your ears.
And you especially liked it when he would hug you with his tail.
Ojiro just smiled softly, tucking the blanket around you before brushing the hair away from your face. You looked so peaceful. He got to his feet and stretched his arms over his head, jaw dropping in surprise when his gaze landed on the bag discarded on the floor. He had completely forgotten about that.
Shaking your shoulder to rouse you from your tranquil state, he whispered apologies when you finally opened your eyes.
"I'm so sorry I woke you up but I have to go to Sato-kun's room really quick to give him the flour and sugar I bought earlier, okay?" He rushed out, tripping over his words to get it out faster so that you could go back to sleep.
"Can't I go with you?" You mumbled, still half asleep.
Ojiro shook his head, remembering what Aizawa said about exposure. Sure, he trusted his classmates but there was a big difference between what he wanted and what was logical. Your chances were better off with the less that people knew you of your whereabouts so he refused, even though it nearly broke his heart when you trained your wide orbs on him.
Pushing out your bottom lip slightly, tears collected at the corner of your eyes. "You don't want me there?"
He was quick to kneel down by your side, unable to stop himself from pressing his forehead to your temple in a desperate attempt to make the sadness in your voice fade away.
"No, no, princess, it's not that at all." The pet name slipped out faster than he could stop it but he didn't even stop. "You're safer here for right now. And I'll only be gone for a minute."
He rubbed the back of your hand with his thumb. "Okay?"
You mustered up a wobbly smile for him. "Okay..."
He wanted to text Sato to come to his room to pick it up so that he wouldn't have to leave you but that would stir up questions, especially since he wouldn't allow his friend inside and that would undoubtedly create a mayhem within his peers at what he was hiding. For aspiring heroes, they were still teenagers after all. And they loved to bug each other like it, too.
Ojiro sighed as he forced himself to detach from you, tucking the blanket securely around you before he stepped quietly out the door.
For once in his life, he kind of wished he wasn't living with his classmates.
After he left, you tried to quell the anxiety and insecurities. Twisting and turning, your mind raced, spiraling out of control. He didn't abandon you, he was just returning something to his friend. He would be back soon. He promised you.
But as the minutes ticked by, it felt like hours and you couldn't wait any longer. Throwing off the covers, your legs shook as you stepped towards the door. However, you froze in place and your ears twitched, picking up the sounds faster than the average human which normally would've given you an advantage but you couldn't move in time.
The door flew open with a bang, slamming into the wall and making you jump nearly five feet into the air. On the other side stood the girl with pink hair and skin that you had seen earlier, along with the electric boy and a few others you didn't recognize.
You shrunk back as the group exploded into chaos, directing questions towards you faster than you could process or fend off on your own. Your panic rose as they flooded in, clutching your hands tightly to your chest at the overwhelming amount of people in the cramped space.
Then, your eyes widened as someone shouted frantically for them to move, shouldering his way through until he came to you. You willed your feet to move but they wouldn't obey no matter how hard you tried, your body still frozen in fear. It didn't matter though because he reached you within seconds.
"Guys, seriously, back off!!" Ojiro shouted above the clamor, his tail pulling you close and tucked you under his arm. "You're scaring her!!"
At the strain in his usually light tone, his friends started to quiet down one by one and he turned his full attention on you.
"You okay?" He murmured, cradling your jaw and inspecting your face for any hint that you might've been hurt.
You didn't say anything, just threw your arms around him and brushed your nose against the crook of his neck, scenting him. His warm scent eased you and brought you back down bit by bit until your feet were planted firmly on the ground.
Even though he had no clue what you were doing, it was making the tension wound in your body disappear fast so he didn't have any issues with it. But his breath hitched as a soft rumble emitted from the back of your throat in contentment, squeezing you once before letting you go. He didn't detach his tail from you though, using it as a wall to keep his overeager friends from coming too close.
Ojiro let you do what you needed in that moment and in the minutes that followed, his friends began peppering you with questions. He let you keep your face nuzzled into his chest as you shyly answered them but he answered for you whenever you hesitated so that you wouldn't be put in an uncomfortable position of refusing them.
He had already seen what you were like when something that was normal for them went against what was ingrained into you and his arms curled around you tighter in an effort to protect you.
You were thankful for him taking most of the pressure off of you, timidly straying from his side when he encouraged you to talk to the girls a little bit more. You warmed up to them much faster than the rest, your eyes brightening up excitedly when they told you there was a girl among their friend group who had a frog quirk.
He sighed as Yaoyorozu and Ashido led you away from the boys with the rest of the girls in tow to go to a space where the environment would be better for you. Feeling bad that the secret had gotten out already, he winced as he thought of the penalty he would face once he told Aizawa.
Kaminari smirked, leaning against the doorframe after you exited. "Man, where have you been hiding her?"
Ojiro shot him a look that told him to keep quiet, not in the mood for playing around. "That's not funny."
"C'mon man, we're just teasing." Kirishima added on, not picking up on the tense energy of the room. "You could've at least told us you had a girlfriend, she's really cute."
"If not a little shy." Sero grinned, elbowing him in the ribs teasingly. "Don't worry, it's not like we're going to steal her away or anything."
"You should not have a girl in your room, Ojiro!!" Iida declared, chopping his hands in the air to emphasize his point despite the inconsiderate snickering occurring on the other side of the room by the three of them. "It is not appropriate!!"
Shoji, Sato and Koda all elected to remain silent, studying their friend's shadowed expression as their other classmates relentlessly teased him.
Forehead creasing in annoyance at the continuous jabs, Ojiro blurted out, "Guys, stop!! It's not something to joke about!!"
He sank to the floor, head in his hands and for the first time since they burst in, the guys finally took notice of the way his shoulders shook and how anxiety seemed to roll off of him in waves.
"She's in real danger." Ojiro told them quietly. "There are bad people looking for her so you guys can't talk about her, alright?"
"Please." He begged, not caring how desperate he sounded.
All he wanted was for you to be safe. All he wanted was for you to live the life you had been robbed of without having to look over your shoulder to see if someone was following you or not.
Shoji uncrossed his duplicate arms, stance broadening. "We won't."
"Yeah," Kirishima inserted, rubbing the back of his neck, ashamed of his behavior earlier. "Sorry man, had no idea."
Scattered apologies followed his and reluctantly, Ojiro raised his head, mouth set in a determined line. He didn't answer too many questions about your situation, wanting to keep as much of it as he could private until he knew how you felt about telling them and stood up. Now that damage control had been dealt with, all that was left was to tell Aizawa.
Piece of cake.
Back with the girls, you were dragged back to the elevators to get to the girls' side. Since Jirou's was the closest, you guys went there. Your expression filled with awe at the many instruments that hung on the walls, wanting to touch them but you didn't want to get in trouble so you kept your hands stiffly by your sides.
Ashido enthusiastically led you to the plushiest spot on the floor and for a second, you were reminded of the little stuffed giraffe Ojiro let you play with when he caught you looking at it. A smile tugged at the corner of your lips and you jumped when the girls squealed.
"Who are you thinking about?" Ashido pried, eyes glimmering with mischief. "It's Ojiro-kun, isn't it?!"
Your mouth opened and closed, unable to form a response to that. You covered your ears when she shrieked excitedly, taking your silence as your answer and dancing around the room.
"Mina-chan, calm down, you're a little too loud." Yaoyorozu told her gently before reaching over to pat your shoulder. "Where did you come from?"
Mouth parting in shock at how blatant she was being, you twiddled with the strings of Ojiro's hoodie. "Um, well, they told me that my breed is mixed so I don't sell as well as a purebred but I'm fast and—"
"Oh goodness no!!" Ashido interrupted, eyes widened in horror and if you looked around you would've seen all the other girls wearing that exact same expression. "That's not what she meant!!"
Tilting your head to the side clueless, you frowned. "It's not?"
"No!!" Yaoyorozu exclaimed, horrified by what you had to have been through to respond like that on instinct. "I meant how did you get in the dormitory, in Ojiro-san's room nonetheless!!"
"Ah, well... that, um... I—" You cut off your stammering with a frustrated sigh. "I'm not sure how much I'm allowed to tell you."
"That's okay." Uraraka reassured you easily.
Her energy reminded you of Ojiro.
"Is it true that you're in danger?" Jirou spoke up for the first time since the gang of girls invaded her room.
Your jaw dropped in shock but your expression cleared when she waved her earjacks around pointedly. That must've been how she could hear and judging by the timing of her question, you concluded that Ojiro must have been the one talking about your circumstances. And since you didn't feel like he would knowingly put you into danger, you told them what you told him.
Their expressions crumbled before you, losing all semblance of their happy-go-lucky personalities as disbelief took over.
Yaoyorozu's eyes filled with tears. "You had to endure all of that alone?"
"That's horrible!!" Ashido cried out.
"I'm so sorry!!" Uraraka and Hagakure shouted simultaneously.
"I can't imagine what that must've been like." Jirou said, her eyes sad. "You're here now though, so Aizawa-sensei must've given you permission."
You nodded, knees tucked under you as you gripped the hem of the blue sweatshirt. "Yes, but it was only supposed to be a temporary solution and no one else was supposed to find out."
Hesitating, you gulped. "If... If this gets out, I—"
"Don't worry, Y/N-chan!!" Ashido exclaimed, shooting to her feet and pumping her fist in the air. "We'll definitely protect you."
Jirou nodded, fueled by her friend. "Yeah!!"
"You can count on us!!" Hagakure jumped up beside her.
"They won't be able to touch you anymore now that you've got us!!" Yaoyorozu declared determinedly.
"Let's go!!" Uraraka cheered. "Plus Ultra!!"
You burst into sobs at their overwhelming support despite only having just met them and the girls crowded around you in the best group hug you've ever received.
After that emotional roller coaster, they were going to bring you back to Ojiro's room since that's where you wanted to stay for the night but they heard your stomach growling and collectively decided to feed you with whatever they could find in the kitchen.
Yaoyorozu was pretty sure there was some leftover pizza that the guys had bought earlier that day.
Your protests fell on deaf ears as Ashido and Uraraka dragged you all the way there, Jirou trailing behind as Yaoyorozu and Hagakure ran ahead.
"You don't want your own room?" Jirou questioned when they finally released you.
You shook your head. "I... I don't really like being alone and Ojiro-san is my first friend I've had in a long time, so I... I trust him."
She nodded understandingly. "I get it."
"That is soooo cute!!" Hagakure swooned, balancing several boxes of various packaged Japanese snacks in her arms.
You blushed beet red, flushing further when the girls cooed at how cute you were. Pulling the collar of the hoodie up to hide your smile, you pleaded for them to stop embarrassing you. Tea kettle whistling on the stove as Yaoyorozu prepared some jasmine tea, Uraraka brought out the pizza box she had just found from the industrial-sized fridge, handing it to you after heating it up.
"Isn't this someone's food?" You questioned, not touching it. You didn't want to eat it if it belonged to someone.
Jirou pushed it towards you encouragingly with her earphone jack, smirking. "Trust me, Kaminari won't miss it."
You decided to take her word for it.
You had barely finished half a slice when the front door opened and the chilly night air blew inside. Turning around, you hopped off of the stool you were perched on and ran to Ojiro, who had an extremely exhausted Aizawa in tow.
Ojiro caught you easily, wrapping his tail around you out of instinct. It was getting to be a habit by now.
"Are you okay?" He asked as he checked you over.
You giggled, prying his hands away from their dutiful inspection. "I'm okay."
He breathed a sigh of relief but the two of you stiffened when Aizawa cleared his throat from behind him.
"As much as I don't want to interrupt whatever that is," He droned monotonously. "This has gotten a lot more serious."
You shared a worried look with Ojiro and gasped when his tail tightened around your waist ever so slightly.
"You can't stay here." Aizawa told you, fixating his eyes on the students who moved to object, more flooding in as their sensei's voice carried clearly. "You need to come with me, I'll find you a place to stay for the night."
Taglist: @katsukis-sad-angel​
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raleighcarrera · 3 years
Text
falling
platinum | raleigh carrera x mc (cadence dorian)
a little while ago i posted about the idea of a soulmate au where the first words raleigh & cadence say to each other are tattooed on them their whole lives, and this... is that. (for @platinumweekend ❤️)
tags: @choicesarehard ; @empressazura; @emomoustache ; @natesewell ; @zigtheeortega ; @pixeljazzy ; @brycemaloliver ; @grigori-girl ; @dulceghernandez ; @bitchloveskcbaseball ; @withbeautyandrage 
~10.5k words | T
i.
the words appear in looping script on his thirteenth birthday, right on time. they curve along the inside of his bicep, innocently punctuated. what’s your name?
“you got lucky,” one of his older cousins tells him, later, when everyone in his family comes by for cake and to ooh and aah over his new tattoo, “you’ll be able to hide that with a shirt or a jacket easily.”
but raleigh sleeps shirtless every night for the next two years, even when it’s cold, so that the words are the last thing he sees with his head pillowed on his arm before he falls asleep, dreaming of the nameless, faceless person who will one day say them, wondering what their voice might sound like when they do.
ii.
she has a more difficult go of it.
being a thirteen year old girl would be miserable enough without the added pressure of the words that practically feel broadcast across her forehead, most of the time. everyone at school teases her constantly and ruthlessly: say something funny, cadence. go on. tell us a joke!
so it’s difficult not to resent the two words scrawled lazily across her collarbone and the person attached to them, especially in the mornings before school when she’s angrily rearranging her neckline and jewelry in the mirror while the bus idles outside.
very funny. she isn’t, really. she’s plenty of things -- determined and passionate and sensitive, definitely, but... no one’s ever found her particularly funny, before.
and no one seems to understand just how much the expectation of having to be funny, one day, is weighing on her, not even her parents, when she finally works up the courage to squeak out, “but how am i supposed to know what i should say?”
her mom laughs indulgently, like she’s already said something funny. her stomach sinks further.
“oh, sweetheart,” she tells her, “don’t worry, it won’t matter. you just will.”
iii.
people ask him about it. a lot.
it gets difficult to keep it a secret as things change around him, but raleigh’s careful to avoid slip-ups and paparazzi photos and he doesn’t say a word about it in interviews, even when he’s asked directly. he’s never seen without short sleeves on, at the very least, and he doesn’t even tell blair and cameron about it.
he sort of wishes he had, though, because as his life turns upside down and he adapts to a new country with a new set of rules and an industry that makes his head spin most of the time it starts to feel more and more confusing, those three words -- what’s your name?
everywhere he goes, thousands of girls blocking the street scream it at him. so how is it possible that whoever’s waiting to meet him doesn’t already know it?
and what does that mean for how the rest of his life is going to turn out? 
what if all of this -- the fame and the money and the notoriety -- is fleeting, and he’s only a few short years from being completely washed up and irrelevant? what if the day he’s meant to meet his person is so far away that he’ll be completely out of the spotlight, by then, with sunset skatepark playing reunion tours and him having spent most of his life alone?
it’s a lot of pressure, for someone who’s already working their way through such a serious adjustment, and most of the time it’s dizzying, thinking about the fact that there’s someone out there who’s supposed to be perfect for him, when everyone he meets seems determined to forget every word they know other than yes, so they can suck up to him as much as possible.
his teenage years fly by in a whirlwind of mistakes and regrets. there’s things he would’ve never dreamed would come his way, like world tours and more money than he can count and so many girls who know everything about him before they even sit down to dinner, but there’s more than that, too.
there’s all the ways the industry weakens his trust until it’s gone, all the people who try to use him for what he can do for them, all the times he stumbles until he finally learns to distance himself by cultivating a persona, by leaning into all the expectations of raleigh carrera and creating something so outlandish it doesn’t hurt as much when disaster follows him around because it’s supposed to.
he watches everything that surrounds him turn fake and plastic and puts his energy only into his music, coasting on the rest. the days are less exciting than when he first joined the band at fifteen; he’s a solo artist, now, and most of the time, he’s just trying to get through.
but chaos continues to follow him and eventually his notoriety is inescapable. his first solo album is self-titled and he somehow manages to get a trademark on the word raleigh, as if the name is now more his than anything that ever belonged to the state of north carolina, and part of him sort of expects the words stamped on his arm to change, once he hits one-hundred million followers on his social channels.
they never do, though, and when he’s alone, and the veneer he’s built up for everyone else fades away, he can’t help but to be fascinated by this person who just wants an answer to the question no one else would ever dare ask him.
iv.
college isn’t exactly the fresh start she was hoping it’d be.
she was a loser in high school and things don’t get much better for her even now that she’s with ‘her people’ at a performing arts university she can barely afford, even with two part-time jobs. 
shane is across the country at a proper state school with parties and a social life and lots of friends who aren’t her, and she’s failing her improv class, proving that she isn’t actually very funny at all. 
boys continue to not notice her and patrons in bars continue to turn away from her one-woman performance, her old acoustic guitar the only constant in a life that feels utterly, unbelievably pointless, most of the time.
it’s like she’s drifting through the days, putting her time in at college in the hopes that it’ll fortify her for what’s next -- her big break, the discovery that’ll get her out of that shitty small town she’s been trying to escape her entire life. she writes hundreds of songs about how lost she feels and hates every single one, dreaming of a time when things might be different and she doesn’t have to second-guess every single one of her decisions.
she doesn’t have much of a love life and tries not to think about that, either.
the person on the other side of those two words stuck on her collarbone is probably looking for someone self-confident, who knows who they are and is comfortable with that. they’re probably expecting to meet someone who has their life together, who, at the very least, has a plan.
they’re probably not expecting a talentless nobody screwup like her, someone who tries as hard as she can yet never seems to make anything work.
things don’t turn around after graduation, either. sure, she manages to find an apartment in a building that’s nice enough and uses the last of her savings on the deposit and trying to furnish it, but it’s only a few weeks of trying and failing to secure a regular paying gig performing before she’s back at smoothie star again, begging for her old job back.
and there’s nothing that makes her feel more like a failure than working the same shifts she had in high school. 
as she hums along to the radio on a random tuesday afternoon when the store is dead and there’s nothing to blend, she wonders what mr.-or-mrs. very funny would think if they walked in and saw her here -- twenty-three years old and flat broke, with a dead-end job and a one-bedroom apartment all she has to show for her very expensive and very useless bachelor’s degree.
that, and a notebook full of half-finished songs about relationships she could only ever dream about and an escape from the miserable small town she lives in that feels farther away with every day that passes.
she can’t imagine they’d be very impressed.
v.
raleigh’s life gets monotonous very quickly. the music takes a backseat to the scandals and for a while there’s a predictable pattern of cause trouble, clean up image, rinse and repeat.
there are girls in between the cycles to help him pass the time. some he likes well enough and some he despises, but for the most part his management gives their recommendations and he agrees and makes awkward conversation for an hour or two over brunch until it’s time to go trash something again.
things get particularly bad after one minor cruise ship hijacking incident. 
but in his defense, no one ever told him that breaking into the harbor and joy riding was a first-degree felony, worsened by the fact that he’d just so happened to crash the boat into the pier while he was trying to dock it. 
at least he’d been sober.
though a monumental fuck up like this felt sort of inevitable; everyone who knew him probably figured it was only a matter of time before he went too far. how could he not when he was always chasing the next high?
still, the image rehab tour that follows is far from what he’d call enjoyable. he has to cut off all his hair and play nice at industry parties and waste time standing around being seen at charity events he winds up just cutting checks for instead of helping out at.
on top of the miserable community service comes the pr bullshit his team so loves -- dozens of tv appearances back-to-back where he’s herded around all day like cattle, in and out of green rooms with crappy coffee and bad catering.
he has no idea that showing up to be a judge on one in a million is going to change his life. hungover and running late, he barely even makes it to the taping of the semi-finals, slinking inside the concert hall in middle-of-nowhere, usa with a headache and some choice words for whoever thought this was the best way to clean up his image.
fortunately, raleigh manages to make his way inside virtually unnoticed. his phone is buzzing angrily in his pocket -- undoubtedly his manager trying to encourage him to hair and makeup or some other absurdity -- but he ignores it in favor of ducking back behind the line near the auditorium doors, only barely catching the last few words of some catty confrontation between two contestants as he goes.
as one of the girls stomps away, he sees the other’s shoulders slump from behind. “guess i’m not making any friends,” she mutters.
it’s clearly said to no one -- not even to herself, really -- yet for some reason, he can’t stop himself from responding. “where i come from, that’s a good thing.”
the girl’s shoulders straighten, but she still doesn’t turn around. “i’m not trying to succeed at the cost of others.”
raleigh smirks, leaning back against the wall beside his guitar case. “you do realize you’re at a competition show, right?”
“of course, but...” her hair ruffles with what sounds like a huff. she’s still not facing him, staring off at where the other girl she’d been talking to had run away. “that doesn’t mean i’m not rooting for everyone here to share their music with the world.”
“what a sweet sentiment,” raleigh drawls sarcastically, almost feeling a little bad for her and her naivety. this poor girl is going to be eaten alive. “it won’t last.”
her body tenses, her shoulders tightening again. he can almost see smoke start to pour from her ears before she spins suddenly on her heel to face him. 
whatever sharp retort had been on the tip of her tongue gets swallowed with a blink as soon as their eyes meet. something like electricity crackles in the space between them, strengthening the invisible pull he’d felt when he first stopped behind her. instead, she only asks, “what’s your name?”
vi.
the man in front of her snorts. “very funny.”
a smile tugs at her lips. “very funny, that’s a weird name.” this is unlike her -- the quick comeback, the flirting. usually being face-to-face with a guy as good looking as the one talking to her now made her want to wither away and die, but something about the stranger standing before her sets her instantly at ease. “so, are you gonna tell me, or not?”
now it’s his turn to blink at her. a hand lifts to rub at his jaw. “huh. you really don’t know who i am, do you?”
cadence’s eyes narrow as she assess him. there is something vaguely familiar about that crooked grin, she’s sure of it. 
at the very least, it’s an excuse to stare at him, and she does, moving her eyes slowly over the tattoos poking out over his jacket collar, the line of stubble on his sharp jaw, the glint of mischief in his eyes.
her helpless gaping is interrupted by a sudden shrill scream. “oh. my. god! is that raleigh carrera?!”
everything clicks at once. as a wild group of girls corner him, she realizes where she’s seen that smile before -- on just about every tabloid cover known to man, plastered all over convenience stores and the internet with headlines about his latest bender. in fact, she’s pretty sure he was just in the news for something similar -- crashing a yacht or something else ridiculous like that, something that only someone as rich as raleigh carrera could have accomplished. 
then she realizes what he’d said to her, as soon as she’d turned to look him in the eyes. very funny. 
her heart stops. all she can do is stare wide-eyed at him as he dispels the girls clamoring for a selfie, snapping back to the present when he waves one large hand in front of her face. 
“sorry -- what?”
“i said, what’s your name? it only seems fair, now that you know mine, and all.”
“cadence,” she answers numbly, “i’m -- um, i’m used to your hair being longer.”
“cadence,” raleigh repeats, smiling at her, “so you do know who i am.”
“what do the magazines call you again? r&b’s time bomb? puerto rico’s hottest export? you’re kind of notorious.” she blinks at him, then admits, “i’ve heard your songs.”
“seen the tabloid covers too, eh?” the expression on his face suggests he’s almost proud of them.
this is surreal.
“didn’t you crash a yacht or something?” she asks, brain whirring into overdrive as she tries to process what’s happening. he doesn’t seem to have realized it yet, which gives her a moment to gather her thoughts, something that feels impossible when she can’t push the way he’d scoffed very funny out of her mind. 
“or something. insurance paid out a couple million in property damage, but...” raleigh trails off, brow suddenly furrowing. he stares at her silently for a beat too long, then slowly turns a dull red. “hey, what’d you say earlier, again?”
cadence wets her dry lips, trying not to panic. stay calm, she silently coaches herself. raleigh carrera is not your long-awaited soulmate and you are not doing this in line to audition for one in a million. “i said -- what’s your name? and then you said...”
oh god, this is happening. her teeth dig into her bottom lip as she fidgets with the neckline of her top, tugging it to the side so raleigh can see the two words on her collarbone. 
“very funny,” he mutters, “oh, jesus fucking christ. you can’t be serious.”
“me?” she demands, “you’re the one who --”
“next up,” calls a voice suddenly, cutting sharply through their argument, “contestant #9,276.”
her blood runs cold as she realizes that’s the number she’s wearing pinned to her shirt. she can feel herself start to sweat; how the fuck is she supposed to perform like this? she wants to throw up. why did this have to happen to her now? this was her shot -- her one fucking chance --
“hey, easy.” there’s suddenly two strong hands on either side of her shoulders, and she startles as raleigh stares at her from up close, closer than he was just a moment ago. “relax, okay? you’re gonna be fine. you’ve got this.”
“but --” she starts, then realizes her mind is racing too quickly to even articulate what she wants to say. she settles for shaking her head, eyes wide and panicked. “i can’t just -- oh my god, i’m going to throw up.”
“here,” raleigh directs, “take my guitar. prince gave it to me as a birthday present.”
prince?! she mouths hysterically to herself, as he flips the latch on his case open and pulls out the instrument. “how is this supposed to help me?”
“just trust me,” he says, giving her a gentle nudge towards the auditorium, “now go.”
she does, stumbling forward with the most expensive piece of equipment she’s ever held in her hands in her life alongside her, drawing in a deep breath as she makes her way onto the stage.
she can do this.
everything else will have to come after.
vii.
the thing is -- she’s talented. exceptionally so. 
he can tell she’s a little nervous, but maybe that’s just because he’s used to looking out for that sort of thing; he could probably recognize it more easily than the average person would. it probably has nothing to do with who they are, how he notices the nuances in her body language...
her belt is impressive. her voice is stunning, clear and uniquely melodic. his guitar looks spectacular in her hands, and cadence plays it like she’s been practicing on it her entire life. 
he tries his best to look nonchalant, feet kicked up onto the seat in front of him, but when she locks eyes with him from the stage he knows he hasn’t succeeded. raleigh’s breath catches, and he stares back at her, transfixed by the way her dainty hands cradle the neck of the guitar and strum the strings, how her lips purse around the long, emotional high note at the end of the song’s chorus.
she’s really very pretty. 
he’d probably be lying to himself if he said it doesn’t make him a little bit jealous and uncomfortable, watching how she and avery fawn over each other when she’s finished. he’s probably a much better suited match for her, clean cut and pristine as he is. 
he wonders if she’s disappointed that it’s him -- that it’s now, when she’s clearly on the cusp of something great all on her own.
it’s a lot to think about, and so he dips out of the auditorium before she finishes up, rushing outside with his heart pounding. it’s not until he’s halfway through the crumpled pack of cigarettes in his jacket pocket that raleigh starts to relax even an iota, and of course that’s when the stage door he’d left propped swings open wide and cadence’s sneakers hit the asphalt beside his boots.
“uh, you can’t just leave me with this thing,” she says, apropos of nothing, and as he stares at her he realizes she’s talking about his guitar, which she’s holding in one hand like it’s a dead fish. “this costs more than everything in my apartment combined, i’m sure.”
he shakes his head at her, laughing as his fingers flick ash from the cigarette he’s holding. “no way -- you should keep it. you two looked perfect together.”
she hesitates, looking down at the instrument again. he can see in her eyes that she’s torn; it’s obvious she knows the right thing to do is to refuse a generous gift from a stranger, but she wants to keep it, and already his mind is racing as he considers what else he could give her that would excite her like that -- a private flight, a tour of his penthouse, a million dollars. 
“are you sure?” cadence asks, without looking at him, and the hesitancy in her voice makes him realize how unsure she really is. she’s the one who’s wondering if he’s disappointed in her.
he licks his suddenly dry lips and drops what’s left of his cigarette to the ground, finding he doesn’t actually need the rest of it, anymore. “positive.”
viii.
they don’t actually get to spend a lot of time together, while she’s filming. she has to focus and it seems like she’s always busy, somehow -- not that she sees raleigh very often in the first place.
the days are spent rehearsing with avery and cramming in as much mentoring as possible, and when she can pull herself away from fiona’s lessons on image to get home at a reasonable hour she collapses into bed pretty much immediately, out like a light from the whirlwind of the day and hardly even aware enough to dream.
but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t think about him. she does, especially on the rare occasions she manages to catch a glimpse of raleigh walking around in the studio, or on one memorable evening she stays late in the auditorium to bang on the piano keys of the beautiful, enviable baby grand on set and startles to find him leaning in the doorway, watching her play.
it’s all a blur and wildly difficult to process; just when she thinks she has a grip on things she remembers the private moments she’s had with raleigh and her emotions tumble to pieces again as she lets the weight of the implications of what’s going on between them crush her completely.
one moment sticks out on her as being particularly worrisome, insofar as how it bodes for the rest of her life. 
it feels like something significant from the moment raleigh offers to help her warm up; they’ve hardly had a moment alone together in days and she still has absolutely no idea how she’s supposed to talk to him or what she should say, but for some reason the conversation flows easily and she hardly has to think about the (no doubt incredibly stupid-sounding) words coming out of her mouth.
“you’re going to kill it,” raleigh says finally, once they’ve worked through all the exercises in his arsenal, “you really don’t need my help.”
never in her wildest dreams did she ever imagine someone like him would say something like that to her. “you think?”
“i know it,” he answers confidently, shrugging his shoulders like it’s that simple. “and you should, too.”
there’s a moment of silence where they just stand there staring at each other, ignoring the restless murmuring of the crowd outside that’s waiting for him to slip into his seat at the judge’s table. she’s effortlessly lost in raleigh’s eyes, so fixated on the intensity of his gaze that she doesn’t realize he’s leaning in closer until it’s too late.
“insurance policy,” he mutters, before he kisses her, hands cupping her face gently. 
for a split second, she stands frozen, shocked totally still. then, her brain reboots enough to propel her into motion, and cadence gets with the program enough to wind her arms around raleigh’s waist and pull him closer and kiss him back, until her heart’s lurched up into the throat she’d just been warming up, pounding relentlessly.
they make out until the roar of the crowd is deafening -- until it’s impossible not to acknowledge it any longer. 
of course raleigh’s a life-ruiningly good kisser. why wouldn’t he be? why should any of this be easy?
it’s only a few simple touches, but raleigh’s mouth leaves her dizzy and lightheaded when she’s supposed to be concentrating on performing, and, independently of the way she’s blinking at him in stupid shock, cadence already knows she’ll never be able to kiss anyone else ever again without thinking about him.
“i have to get out there,” she gasps between desperate presses of their lips against each other, grasping ineffectively at his clothes while his fingers tug her hair out of shape.
“be late,” he suggests, “it always works for me.” 
but she’s not him. she’s not like him -- they have nothing in common. they come from different worlds; they’re two completely opposite people.
and yet every minute with raleigh is like coming up for air after being underwater for years, like the knots of guilt and shame and awkward embarrassment she’s carried around for her entire life without understanding why she has them are slowly starting to undo themselves, unlaced by his careful fingers.
they make it out there. eventually.
before she knows it, confetti’s raining down from the ceiling and falling all over her, and she locks eyes with raleigh from across the room to find his lips pulled into a genuinely affectionate grin -- lips that she’d just kissed for the first time a fucking hour ago and, seriously, what is her life now -- his eyes bright and excited. 
things just keep getting weirder and weirder, but the way they’re beaming at each other like idiots in a room full of thousands, broadcast on national television, too, makes her think things might be pretty great, too.
ix.
it sort of takes them a long time to getting around to talking about it -- the soulmate thing.
it’s not that he doesn’t try. he does, but she’s got a lot going on, these days: a big move and a new record deal and days filled with songwriting and nights out being seen. he’s still on his image cleanup tour, while she’s at it, so his fake smile stays fixed on his face throughout another boring week of restaurant openings and charity events and talkshow appearances before he finally gets the chance to spend some time with her again.
they text here and there, but nothing pans out until the stars align and they manage to slip out of the back door of a nightclub unnoticed together after a night of dancing too close for the comfort of her publicist while avery and the others cause a commotion at the front entrance to distract the press.
she goes back to his penthouse with him. he can’t remember the last time he brought a girl back to his apartment just to talk, and especially not one who spent the better part of the evening in a sparkly minidress grinding against him. 
but here they are.
“so -- how’s the city treating you?” raleigh asks, pouring them both a drink he doesn’t want from the bar cart in the corner of the room for something to do with his hands.
cadence shrugs from where she’s perched on the edge of his sofa, tugging at the hem of her dress. “good, i guess. it’s honestly all kind of overwhelming.”
“yeah,” he nods, passing her one of the glasses in his hands and taking a seat on the ottoman in front of her, close enough to see her face in perfect clarity but still maintaining a distance that he hopes is respectful. “i know what you mean. when i first came here after joining sunset skatepark everything felt so... huge.”
“totally,” cadence answers quickly, nodding in a way that’s almost aggressive. “i mean, there’s so much pressure to deliver an album right away, but i want it to be perfect, and the studio is so different from, like, writing songs in my room at home, and i... i guess i feel kind of homesick, but -- not for my hometown. i hated that place.” there’s hesitancy in her gaze when she asks, “do you know what i mean?”
“yeah,” raleigh says again stupidly, because the truth is -- he knows exactly what she means. cadence has just articulated something he could never quite put into words better than he’d even thought the sentiments to himself. “it’s like... nostalgia for something you don’t even want.”
“exactly,” she breathes emphatically, and then they’re kissing again, and she’s in his lap on the ottoman and he definitely brought her here to talk, for sure, but is it really so terrible if they get a little sidetracked on the way to their destination?
well -- they wind up making out for hours. so, there’s that.
it’s not part of the plan but it’s a hell of a side quest, memorizing the shape and feel of her with his hands while her lips pull every last bit of breath from his lungs, until he’s lightheaded and dizzy in a way no other girl has ever made him, before. it’s to the point where when he finally finds it within himself to push her away, he’s uncharacteristically nervous -- something that’s never happened to him before, not even on the night he lost his virginity.
“i really did ask you over to talk,” he says, voice hoarse.
cadence licks her lips and then beams at him, eyes sparkling. “i know.” she shuffles delicately back onto the couch, lingering in his lap for only a moment before pulling away entirely. he stuffs his hands under his thighs to stop himself from reaching out for her again. “sorry i haven’t been around more.”
“you don’t have to apologize.” raleigh shakes his head. “i should be apologizing to you, i feel like... i should be the one who’s around, to help you with all of this. or at least -- i want to be. i don’t know if i’ll be any good at it.” 
he blinks, surprised by his own honesty. he hadn’t meant to say all of that, but the words came up before he was cognizant of them and now they’re out there, and there’s no taking them back -- especially with the way she’s looking at him, all soft and sweet and happy.
“well, you don’t have to be good at it,” cadence murmurs, reaching out for his wrists and tugging his hands free so she can interlock their fingers effortlessly. they fit together like puzzle pieces. “you just have to be you.”
x.
her budding relationship with one of the biggest names in r&b doesn’t have much time to bud at all before it’s rudely plucked from the plant and stepped on.
she finds herself blinking at fiona in confusion as the words take some time to process. “you want me to do what?”
xi.
raleigh balks at his manager, shaking his head emphatically. “no,” he spits out, “absolutely not.”
xii.
“cadence, it’s not a big deal,” fiona tells her, very nearly rolling her eyes. “everyone does it. you go on a few dates, play up the relationship for some photos, social media eats it up -- boom, you’re a star.”
“i don’t know,” she answers hesitantly, mind drifting back to the photographers that have already been following her around, screaming about avery when she ducks into the car with him. things with raleigh are... new, and complicated, and do they really need to add public scrutiny into the mix as well? “i just don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“it’s a great idea,” fiona sighs, shaking her head. “all our focus groups agree. the label thinks it’s best, what with your single taking so long to put out.” she opens her mouth to protest -- it’s not like she’s dragging her feet on purpose -- but barely has a second to get a word out before fiona continues, “besides, raleigh does this all the time.”
her teeth bite at her bottom lip uncertainly. “he does?”
“of course. chantal clearwater? she was a pictagram model when they met, and now she’s opening shows at paris fashion week. it’s just business.”
it’s not, though. it could never be just anything, for reasons no one else knows about except the two of them, for reasons she’ll never tell. “well... what did raleigh say about it?”
xiii.
“i said no, frank.” he’s annoyed, now, and his manager knows it, raleigh’s arms folded across his chest and his eyes set into a glare. “n. o. no.”
“and i hear you, but is it really the end of the world? she’s exactly what we’re going for, and i know you already get along --”
“which is exactly why i don’t want to do this. so pick someone else. anyone else.” he’s not going to let his label turn her into one of the girls he has to be seen with for fake photos and mutually beneficial positive press. 
for so many years, he’s watched people fake feelings and use each other -- willingly participated in the using himself, too, more times than he can count. he never cared about any of it before.
but being with cadence doesn’t feel fake, and he doesn’t ever want it to. and he knows that if he agrees to this, everything he enjoys about spending time with her will disappear in favor of the ugly, plastic decay that’s eaten away at so many of his personal and professional relationships before. organic, genuine time with her will become strolls near celebrity hotspots, angling just right to help the cameras get the perfect shot. he’ll show up to support her at shows because her publicist called him, and their time together will become some manufactured narrative meant to push their labels’ agenda, until six months down the line they don’t even recognize themselves or what might’ve been if they’d done things a different way.
“look, there isn’t anyone else. her team’s already agreed to it, and i’ve got brunch set up for sunday. all you have to do is play nice for two fucking months, raleigh. is that so impossible for you?”
yes. already he feels a deep-seated desire to go somewhere and break something, to tear through the flower beds in central park with his motorcycle and wink at the cameras when they catch up to him.
instead, he storms out of the office he’s in, and into the sunlight, tugging the hood on his jacket up and melting into the crowd on the corner so he can be as anonymous as possible when he picks up his phone and calls cadence.
“hey raleigh,” she chirps as soon as she picks up, sounding far too cheerful for someone who’s likely had an equally as miserable early morning meeting on a friday. “guessing you heard the news?”
“can’t i just call you to say hi?” he grumbles, ducking his head as he strolls through the intersection with the mob of people crowded along fifth ave, turning down the next side street so he’s alone again, with no one following, just like that. 
“well, you can,” she teases, and some of the anger he’s carrying around with him fades, dissipating into nothing and evaporating like smoke. “but you’re not.”
“no, i’m not,” he agrees with a sigh, shaking his head. “you sound surprisingly cool with it, though.”
“should i not be?” cadence laughs, but he can detect a thread of nervousness in her tone. “i already want to hang out with you. we have the same friends and work in the same industry. we’re... probably going to go on dates anyway, so... how hard can this be?”
god. she has absolutely no idea. part of him thinks it’d be cruel to burst her bubble, but he should warn her, shouldn’t he? 
she sounds so optimistic about it, though. it’s hard to feel anything but hopeful when her voice turns up like that at the end. in the back of his mind, there’s a voice that’s not his suggesting maybe this time, things will be different. 
surely he knows better than to think something as ridiculous as that, though, right? 
“well, i guess it’ll be interesting, at least,” he muses, slowing his steps by the entrance to the subway. 
he’s going to lose his signal just as soon as he heads underground, and he’s not quite ready for that, yet.
xiv.
time with raleigh flies by. 
it doesn’t feel like they’re fake-dating -- they do everything she hopes he’d want to do with her anyway, like go out to eat at fancy restaurants and take walks through the park and bounce melodies for songs off of each other, facetiming late at night from their apartments or on the days he visits her and micah in the studio. 
he’s by her side for the release of her first single, and her first music video, and through it all, raleigh plays the role of the doting partner perfectly, holding her purse on the red carpet and feeding her paella at a strategically-placed outdoor table and fetching her coffee order when she’s too busy to stop writing for even just five minutes.
in the blink of an eye, it’s time to put out her album -- just like that. 
raleigh’s perfectly charming through that process, too. he shows up on time, says all the right things, and keeps a drink in her hand all evening long, so that when she’s finally done making the rounds and can enjoy herself after the entertainment and the networking and the schmoozing she’s giggly and touchy, doing her best to steal him away from the crowd.
“what were your other relationships like?” she asks, half expecting him to brush her off, though he’s always indulged her before. they’ve never really gotten this personal. “fake or... otherwise.”
“they’ve all been fake,” he shrugs, “and i can say with confidence that you’re the best one i’ve ever had.”
“really?” cadence smiles, chin propped up on her hand as she leans over the bar. “be honest. what did you really think, when you realized it was me?”
“what?” he asks, pushing the empty rocks glass in his hands around on the bar top, “you mean this thing?” he gestures at his arm, covered in expensive, custom tom ford, and the tattoo laying innocently beneath it.
“uh huh,” she confirms, “‘cause i was totally like oh shit.”
raleigh laughs, loud and wild, the sound swallowed up by the noise of the party around them. no one nearby is paying them even an ounce of attention, and it’s fun, to be anonymous at her own party, invisible to everyone in the room except for him. “i can imagine. i wouldn’t want to be stuck with me either.”
cadence shakes her head -- that’s not what she’d meant. but before she can protest, he rolls his glass between his palms and thoughtfully continues, “i guess i was a little surprised. it felt like i’d been waiting forever to meet you, so part of me was like, fuck, we’re doing this now? and i never thought it’d be someone so...”
“boring?” she suggests, eyebrows arching when raleigh’s expression immediately twists into one of disagreement, his nose scrunching up with distaste.
“no,” he huffs, “so... good, i guess.” she stares at him as he reaches for one of the waiting tequila shots on the bar, pulling it away from the line he’d set up for the crowd he’d been with before she’d tugged him to the side to talk, leaving the drinks untouched. raleigh knocks the shot back -- no salt, no lime. he’s had twice as many drinks as she has, and she’s definitely feeling them -- she has no idea how he’s even still upright, no worse for wear other than a few slurred words here and there. “but you just are. it’s like every song i’ve ever written was about you, and i just didn’t know it yet.”
the noise of the party fades in favor of the pounding of her heart, loud like a kick drum in her ears. she bites her lip and stares at him, watching as raleigh shakes his head at himself, dazed. “you okay?” she asks quietly, leaning in a little across the bar. 
raleigh’s quiet for so long she has to wonder whether or not he actually heard her. just as she clears her throat and opens her mouth to repeat herself even louder, he nods, reaching across the bar and squeezing her hand before dragging her back over to the line of tequila shots waiting for them to enjoy.
the night is a blur after that, and there’s patches of the evening that are fuzzy in her memory the next morning, but she knows she’ll never forget the gentle kiss goodnight raleigh gives her when he helps her stumble into the car back to her apartment at dawn.
xv. 
things go really well, until they don’t. 
they have a blissful six months together with more fun than he’s ever had with anyone. slowly, he learns every single thing about cadence and returns her openness with honesty of his own -- honesty that feels strange and unfamiliar but weirdly thrilling, in a way, made easier every time one of his stories pulls a laugh or smile from her. 
it seems unnatural, having a honeymoon period that goes on for so long. in the entire time they’re dating, he doesn’t destroy a single thing -- doesn’t even want to, which is the weirdest part of it all. 
there are some moments that catch him completely off guard. more than a few times, he hardly even recognizes himself, she turns him into such a different person. 
he doesn’t hate it, though -- just the opposite, in fact. raleigh realizes he’s really starting to like the carefree, far from jaded person he is when he’s with her, though it only hits him for real when he’s watching her storm away from him on liberty island, eyes fixed on the angry sway of her hips.
he stews on it on the long ride back to his penthouse; the game had, admittedly, been starting to wear on him. but he’d gone along with it because it was supposed to benefit her -- he’d agreed to the stupid public breakup and following the rules and not seeing cadence in public for the foreseeable future because it was what she wanted, and -- frankly, it felt like a stupid fucking decision.
not that it lasts long. he starts texting her just as soon as he’s done washing electralite out of his hair and doesn’t make it more than twenty minutes when they first see each other again at the moda gala before he’s sneaking off with her, ducking under the velvet rope that demarcates the planetarium as ‘off limits’ with her hand tucked neatly in his.
“maybe this is better,” cadence muses between sips of her drink, her eyes on one of the stupid glass exhibits he couldn’t possibly care less about. “now we can just be together -- no pressure. our relationship is ours again.”
their relationship. is that what this is? they’ve spent a lot of time talking about who they are and what they like and don’t like, kissing and touching and holding hands. throughout it all, he’s done his best not to buy into the ‘soulmate’ bullshit too heavily, but over the last few months it’s been hard to deny that there’s a reason he was meant to meet her, that she’s been changing him from the inside out.
“what’s on your mind?” she asks, turning towards him with an open look of genuine curiosity on her face, like she really wants to know. 
“it’s nothing,” raleigh answers at first, reflexively, like he has so many times before. no one has ever really wanted to know. but cadence’s eyebrows arch, and she waits, patiently silent, and then the words tumble out of him. “it’s just that -- my whole life, i’ve watched other people use each other. so many people are just interested in the concept of celebrity status. so i played the game. never trusting anyone.” 
he shrugs. a hand lifts to rub his jaw, and he looks back to meet her gaze just in time to see the little smile playing at her lips, like she already knows what he’s about to say. “but it’s different, with you. you make me not want to be that person anymore. when i’m with you, it’s the only time i feel anything real.”
“raleigh,” she murmurs, her expression flickering before her face does something that cracks his chest wide open. her eyes go all shiny and sparkly and her cheeks crease with a grin, and the way she laughs is so ridiculously joyful the hand he has stuffed in his pocket curls into a fist to stop him from doing something stupid. “i feel the same way. i just... this whole thing, i know it doesn’t always -- work out, but... with you i really want it to. i’ve never felt this way before about anyone, and i think...” 
there’s a pause as her lips purse thoughtfully, and then she says the words that make it impossible for him to do anything but close the distance between them and kiss her over and over again: “i think even without this tattoo it’d be you, anytime, anywhere.”
xvi.
being raleigh carrera’s (real, confirmed, 100%-authentic) girlfriend feels almost too good to be true.
raleigh is... everything she never knew she wanted in a boyfriend, wrapped up into one tall, dark and handsome package, with a loud, goofy laugh and a deep, sexy voice that sends a shiver down her spine whenever his mouth so much as lingers near her ear for too long. 
it turns out that, despite their differing status in the industry and her initial assumptions that they came from two completely different worlds, they’re actually on the same page about pretty much everything. she finds that the pressure of the word she’d held in such high regard for so long -- soulmate -- disappears entirely where he’s concerned because being with raleigh is just fun. 
there’s motorcycle rides and boat trips and hours up late talking about everything and nothing; facetime calls with his mom and shopping trips where the stores are kept open late for them so they can shop alone, in an empty boutique, like every teen movie she’d ever watched growing up.
there’s late nights in the studio and either of their apartments where they both noodle around on their guitars and improvise half-hearted duets, content to just work in the same orbit as each other for as long as possible.
raleigh’s texting one night on the couch in her living room when she plucks out the melody to who i’ll be on her old acoustic, sitting on the floor in front of the tv.
he looks up before the first verse is over. “what’s that one? it sounds good.”
“oh -- just a song i wrote in college,” cadence hums, already downplaying it as she lifts her shoulder in a shrug. “i got stuck, never finished it. ellis made me sell the progress for some other writer to finish.”
he frowns, pushing up onto his elbow. his phone is tossed carelessly somewhere among the couch cushions. “why?”
“because i was taking too long with the odyssey,” she sighs. “it was kind of my only option. it’s weird, though -- thinking about someone singing something that was so personal to me.”
“play me what you had so far,” he says, and so she does, hesitating for only a second before strumming the chords, singing the lines she had slowly. 
when she’s done, she looks up to find that raleigh’s slid to the edge of the couch, elbows on his knees as he leans in as close as he can get with the coffee table in his way. “okay -- that was beautiful. you should finish it.”
she shakes her head, setting her guitar down. “i can’t. they already sold it. and even if i wanted to... i don’t know how it ends.”
raleigh’s legs spread in invitation and she stands to walk around to the couch, slipping into his lap and leaning back against his chest. his hands are tender as he rubs them across her shoulders, sliding up her back before one lifts to brush a lock of hair back behind her ear, his pointer finger pushing her glasses up her nose affectionately. “maybe one day you can write something else with the same theme,” he suggests, and she tries her best to smile even though it feels like a dream lost, somehow -- a ridiculous thought, given that she pretty much has everything she ever wanted, but the way she feels all the same.
“maybe,” she sighs, the kiss he drops to her forehead a bandaid on a wound that’s been doing its best to heal for what feels like her entire life.
xvii.
he’s never brought a date to the vinyls before. 
there’s been plenty of after parties he’s stumbled out of with a girl on his arm, sure, but cadence is the first person to sit by his side during the ceremony, and he’s surprised by how much he likes having her next to him.
then again, he’s self aware enough to realize he’d like being pretty much anywhere, with her.
still -- the awards are a lot less boring with her around to kiss and stroke his hair and make snide commentary about the rest of the attendees with, and when she squeezes his hand goodbye to rush backstage and get ready for her performance he misses her instantly.
what happens next makes him endlessly regretful of the fact that he’s not backstage with her.
he rushes around just as soon as he can, pushing his way through security and frantically scrambling technical assistants to find her exactly where he thought he might, between ellis knight and fiona, looking lost with her head in her hands.
she seems equal parts broken and pissed in a way that tugs at his heartstrings and makes him a little bit proud. raleigh shoves through the crowd to get to her and slips an arm around her waist. he’s only caught the tail end of the conversation they’re all having, but he knows enough to know that “you can’t bench her. that’s bull.”
ultimately, though, it doesn’t matter how much they stomp their feet. she’s under contract, their hands are tied, and he walks away seething at the unfairness of it all, this shitty industry that’s turned on her when all she ever wanted to do was make music.
she cries in the car back to her apartment to pack her things. there’s no way he’s letting her go home to iowa or idaho or indiana without him, and he barks at his team over the phone until they agree to move his appearances around so he can make that happen, his free hand clasped tightly in hers until he physically has to let her go so she can unlock her front door with trembling fingers.
cadence tosses clothes haphazardly onto the bed and he silently and precisely moves to folds each piece for her, until she gives up and sinks down onto the edge of the mattress, defeated. 
wide eyes filled with tears lock onto his, and he watches her bottom lip wobble before she says, “you really don’t have to do this. come with me, i mean. i know i messed up, and -- you have so much else going on. i don’t expect you to --”
“i’m coming,” he states firmly, setting the sweatpants in his hand down and stepping closer to her, sitting beside cadence on her bed. “what happened tonight was fucked up, cadence -- it shouldn’t have happened at all. i’m not going to let you go through this alone.”
“but --”
“but nothing,” he says, and before the words have even left his mouth she’s falling into his arms with a soft sound of gratitude, mashing her face into his chest as she sniffles.
“thank you,” cadence mumbles, sounding so unsure of herself it makes him wonder if she’s ever had anyone show up for her when it mattered most before, or if that’s yet another thing they unfortunately have in common. 
xviii.
raleigh tries his best to cheer her up, but it’s still hard, feeling like she’s let the entire world down. her fans. herself.
there’s something embarrassing about showing raleigh her apartment back home and the person she was before she met him -- all the places she felt most uncertain and where she experienced some her worst self-doubt, the room that still has the smoothie star apron hung up in the closet.
but there’s also something exciting, about being totally off the grid with him. no one knows they’re here and there’s no paparazzi waiting to snap photos of them -- especially given the fact that they don’t leave her building for the first three days she spends moping around while raleigh orders all the takeout he can get his hands on.
it sort of reminds her of when they first met, and there was nothing to do but learn about each other, though now there’s a familiarity to him she relies on, a unique raleigh-ness that feels more like home than this shitty apartment ever did.
still, she struggles, and the weight of the world doesn’t let up until zadie shows up with her fanmail and avery does his best to make her smile with a beach trip and some fancy new toys and a day in the sun with a drink in her hand.
eventually it’s just her and raleigh again, out by the fire after everyone else has gone to bed. her stomach is full of s’mores and her cheeks hurt from smiling for the first time in weeks, and it’s a shock when she realizes she feels content, even after everything that’s happened -- almost as though things will all work out for the better no matter what happens next.
“oh my god,” she gasps suddenly, cutting off what raleigh had been saying as her eyes light up and she hastens to stand. “i’ve gotta -- i need to -- oh my god.”
just like that, she knows how her song ends.
recording it is a process, but raleigh calls in some favors and gets them studio time and agrees to be featured on the song even though she knows he’s still working through a sound change that he feels unsure about.
but it means a lot to her, having him crammed in the booth at her side, singing into the same mic. they sound almost unbelievably good together, too, raleigh’s harmonies on the words that finally resolve that lost feeling she’s been harboring her entire life making something deep within her wriggle up happily, wagging its proverbial tail.
the fact that raleigh remains by her side throughout the entire fight with her label, the long nights of despair agonizing over what her next move is going to be and even the moment where they decide to break into indio, of all places, means more to her than she can ever say. she feels markedly less nervous about the entire thing every time she turns her head to the side and sees him, right there next to her -- right where he’s been this entire time -- smiling encouragingly and squeezing her hand hard in his.
though it’s not until they’re up at the top of the ferris wheel that she realizes how precious what she has really is. it’s not until he looks her dead in the eye and says, with that same soft earnestness he’s awarded her since they first met at the one in a million auditions that feel quite literally like a hundred years ago, “cadence, everything you want is on the other side of fear. and i want you to have everything you want,” that she truly understands that’s what between them is special and rare.
not because of any tattoos, or any preconceived destiny. not because of who they are and their status and the fact that people take pictures of them when they’re out in public together.
but because of this -- all these real moments of genuine connection they’ve been fortunate enough to share since fate threw them into each other’s paths.
“raleigh, i love you.” the words are said easily, not a moment’s hesitation behind them. 
just before she crosses over in the cart to kiss him until they’re both breathless, raleigh gifts her the brightest smile he has and says, “i love you, too.”
xix.
the night is a blur from the moment he first takes the stage with his old bandmates to when he finally finds himself alone with cadence in a rundown old motel a few miles out from the festival in the desert.
he can’t recall ever being so happy, so of course he doesn’t remember every agonizing detail of the evening, though he does know he doesn’t feel the need to have a single beer with cadence around, twirling barefoot in the grass and giggling when she leads him up to the room they’ve borrowed.
afterwards, when they’re sitting on the roof together in the blanket they dragged off the bed, he reflects on the wild year they’ve had with her in his arms, fingertips tracing the delicate very funny scrawled across cadence’s collarbone.
he feels... free. completely liberated. like there’s absolutely nothing and no one that can get to him, now, like he’s untouchable, like he doesn’t care about a single thing that happens after today and how perfect things have been. 
“i think i’m actually freer than i’ve ever been,” he muses, where his lips are pressed into her hair, “i can take my sound in any direction i want.”
“i’m so happy for you, raleigh,” cadence returns genuinely, tilting her head back so he can see her upside-down smile. 
his arms tighten around her. “i’m so excited for what you’re gonna be doing, too. i’m excited for us.”
“yeah,” she sighs, “who knows what’s next, right? now that ellis let me out of my deal...”
he can hear the thread of worry undercutting the words. he shakes his head, hands rubbing up and down her arms. “you can worry about that tomorrow. for tonight, just enjoy the comeback. what you did out there was amazing.”
“what we did,” she corrects, and he blinks up the stars as he realizes she’s right -- they’re a we now. he’s part of a we again, after being on his own for so long.
the phrases bounce around in his head, unfamiliar and foreign. me and my girlfriend, he thinks to himself, cadence and i. we’re going to be late. we’ll be away that weekend. we just started watching that show. we, we, we. 
“what we did was amazing,” raleigh amends, the words slow to come out but feeling right all the same. “whatever we do next will be amazing.”
“absolutely,” cadence confirms, with conviction, like it’s something she believes wholeheartedly.
and though he has no idea what to expect or what it might be, a large part of him is inclined to agree with her -- she’s been right about everything else so far.
xx.
one year later, she’s finishing a set in berlin, the last stop on a sprawling european tour that had taken she, avery, micah and raleigh across the continent for dozens of performances to sold-out crowds of thousands screaming her lyrics back to her. 
if her contract with overknight had been a dream come true, signing to wilshere records is heaven incarnate. cadence’s trip through the u.k. with her new label is proof enough, and the chance to meet new fans with new stories to share that she could connect with is one she’s taken to with enthusiasm, the experience made all the sweeter by the fact that her favorite people get to be by her side throughout it all.
berlin’s crowd is one of the best, and she fully expects to end the tour on a high note, head banging to the last few notes of ‘knockout’ before raleigh’s planned entrance for the last song of the night, so they can sing the duet that’s closed out every show they’ve had on the tour together. 
when he struts out with his guitar, waving and grinning at the crowd, she can’t stop herself from smiling stupidly at him, just like she does every time she sees him join her on stage, every time she realizes that this is their life, that this is something they do every night, now.
though her grin falters when raleigh pauses in front of his microphone and asks, “berlin, do you mind if i talk a little bit before i start the song? no? cool, because i’ve got an important question to ask.”
her eyes widen. cadence’s mouth drops open and doesn’t close throughout the entire speech raleigh gives her, even though thousands of people in the crowd are filming every moment of her gaping like an idiot, snapping close-ups of her shocked face.
the arena practically vibrates with screams when he drops to his knee, popping the box in his hand open so she can see the giant diamond ring nestled inside of it. 
“so?” raleigh asks, and cadence can just barely hear him in her in-ears with the way her heart is beating frantically up into her throat, as wild as the crowd’s raging around them and then some. “whaddya say, babe? will you marry me?”
as if the answer could ever be anything but yes. she nods, laughing as she launches herself into his arm for a kiss that’s too grand to be given on stage, though that’s hardly going to stop her -- not tonight, at least. tonight, she’s okay with the whole world watching their every move, just one more time.
“oh, i don’t know if it’s going to fit,” raleigh jokes as the ring slides easily onto her left hand, amping up the theatrics for the fans still watching them avidly, even up in the cheap seats.
cadence rolls her eyes playfully at him. “very funny,” she praises, and the grin he offers her in return is so loving -- so knowing, with the secret that only the two of them share and every weird piece of their history included in it -- that it takes everything she has to shove him away so they can perform instead of dragging him down to the floor to kiss him over and over again.
clumsily, she flubs a few notes of love who i’ll be on her guitar. from across the stage, between the bridge and the chorus, raleigh jeers, “someone hasn’t learned to play with the extra weight on their left hand, yet, i see,” and when she flips him off while belting out the last lines of the verse, his raucous laughter is all the harmony the final few bars of the song needs. 
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anakinthetrashking · 4 years
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BnHA One-Shot Fic Recs (pt1)
Making some fic-rec posts has been on my to-do list for a while and I’m finally doing it, yay! Currently I have 6 word doc pages full of just BnHA recs. So I’m splitting them up by length and completion, so first up is (part one of) one-shots! Let’s go!!!
Lets start with some classic Izuku and DadMight!
Pictures, Posters and Tender Beauty by ProPinkist (tumblr: @dazais-guardian-angel ) Rating: G    Category: Gen   ~4,400 words Summary: Izuku has virtually every All Might-themed item out there, and prides himself on all of it, as Toshinori is well aware. However, somehow, the boy still decided that there was something vital missing. This is fluffy and very cute. No one truly appreciates All Might as much as Izuku does, but 1A comes close. All Might deserves all the love, and this fic truly provides!!!
Dear Mr. All Might by QuizzicalCrow (tumblr: @quizzicalcrow​ ) Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~5,000 words Summary: As the #1 hero for decades, All Might has collected a lot of fan mail over the years. Toshinori tracks down a series of letters that only now, years later, does he appreciate for their significance.  I always love the thought of All Might looking through his fan mail, even if he can’t get to all of it. This was a wonderful glimpse into that AND it was made to be so, so personal and sweet. Go have some heart-healing fluff.
Growing Pains by LordofLies (tumblr: @theangelofchildren ) Rating: G   Category: Gen    ~5,900 words Summary: Izuku finds himself changed by his encounter with the Hero Killer, but changes of a more physical kind are in store for him as he begins to truly accept One for All as his own. Once, he would have been thrilled to look more like All Might, but now those connections are as much a source of anxiety as they are of pride.Or, Izuku wakes up one morning and sees the world through different eyes. Izuku having anxiety and Toshi being there to help him through it and calm him down? Sign me UP. Its also a pretty cool take on how One for All is able to change things about it’s holder. Could this happen in cannon? Who knows.... Regardless, it was a great read!
I’ll Carry You Home by Renesvetta Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~2,700 words Summary: While training with All Might, it wasn’t uncommon for Izuku to be so exhausted at the end of the day that he unwittingly fell asleep without regard for where he was. It consequently became part of All Might’s routine to help his young protégé home. During that time, Izuku may have let loose more than one sleepy confession towards his mentor.  Yes, it is as adorable as it sounds. Its tagged with “self indulgent Dad Might fluff” which is both accurate and appreciated. In other words: Superb you funky little writer!
Simple Gifts by QuizzicalCrow Rating: G    Category: Gen   ~6,700 words Summary: One year ago, Izuku received the greatest gift he could ever imagine. Now he’s determined to return the favor for the one responsible for it all with a gift of his own.  First off, I love the idea of Izuku and Toshi quietly celebrating the anniversary of passing on OfA from All Might to Izuku. Even just taking the day to hang out with each other. It’s a really precious idea. But there’s not just fluff! Izuku finds himself in a fight, again. (cool villain quirk, too!) I love all of the small details that are in this fic (and in Crow’s other works, too!) anyway its exciting AND very heartwarming, so go read it!!!
Affectionate by Sevi007 (tumblr: @sevi007 ) Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~2,600 words Summary: Toshinori starts to show affection very easily around his students. The  reactions he gets for that are not quite the ones he had anticipated - well, not all of them, at least.  Toshi is LOVED, APPRECIATED, and 1A feels like HOME. how many times can i say “cute” and “heartwarming” on this post?? bc these are some amazing writers, whom I adore, and their writing makes my heart WARM. AND. FUZZY. i mean, even just the first few paragraphs of this one just, really sets the scene of what i like to believe the 1A dorm is (on a good day, lol). its a really nice read, so go treat yo’ self by reading it.
paint me in trust by dinomight Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~6,400 words Summary: The first mark Izuku gets is a slight brush of green across his temple. It’s the soft touch of a mother holding her son for the first time. Inko has one to match, the same shade of green staining the tips of her fingers. Hers is more noticeable; Izuku’s tends to blend into his hairline. He loves it anyways. He has to. It’s the only soulmate mark he has. (Or: how Izuku goes from just green to a rainbow, UA-style.)  Ok, so this fic sort of plays off the idea of soulmates, and does not fit in with soulmates in the usual form of the trope. First off its completely platonic. Its categorized as Gen and sticks to that. Also it doesn’t seem to be as obligatory and permanent as you would think it would be. It seems to be more of the universe telling you who has the possibility of being important in your life. I really really loved this, it was so adorable and gives you that sweet, sweet Izuku angst, before healing your heart with the power of friendship and found family!!!
The Die Has Been Cast by ChiwiTheKiwi (tumblr: @chiwithekiwi​ ) Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~5,400 words Summary: “There’s something about that kid you aren’t telling me, isn’t there?”When no answer meets him, Shouta tries again.“You know something about Midoriya’s quirk that you haven’t shared with me. Is that right?”(Or: A canon "What If" surrounding the latest manga events and focusing on Aizawa finally making a connection.) First off, this fic has spoilers for the manga, so dont read unless you’re past chp212! I loooooooove OfA reveal fics, especially when it’s Aizawa that finds out. He deserves to know!!! its kind of important!!!! This fic chooses a great moment to work off of, and does a great job with Aizawa’s character. I really enjoyed it and couldn’t keep myself from going back and reading it just now LOL
These last two are actually two-shots, but it makes it an even 10! also Izuku and dadmight, so we can continue the theme here...
Some Unspoken Thing by LittleKy Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~7,900 words (2chps) Green, Toshinori has always thought, is the color of life anew.(Or: It's time for Yagi Toshinori to finally accept that he has a son, now, in all but blood. It's time for Midoriya Hisashi to accept that as well.) YES ALL MIGHT! ADMIT THAT IZUKU IS YOUR SON! great portrayal of the characters and really hits the nail on the head for DadMight. and Izuku in this story is just the smallest green floof that you wish to give a hug. NEVER MIND ALL MIGHT, YOU TOOK TOO LONG SO IZUKU IS MY SON NOW AND IM NOT GIVING HIM BACK ( no but seriously i want to hug this fic its so cute TTuTT )
LAST BUT NOT LEAST! I See You by BirdAntlers (tumblr: @aarymk )
Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~15,400 words (2chps) Midoriya Izuku is a quirkless child, blind from birth. Yagi Toshinori is the most powerful man in the world, loved by millions. They could not be more different, and yet their loneliness is the same.   (From a pair of AU posts on Tumblr that got way out of hand; I wanted to put it here because it turned into more of a fic than a "what-if." Basically a vessel for me to vomit as much Dadmight as I can.) Hey, you! Yeah! You! Do you want to cry? Do you want to start sobbing in a public space?? Do you just want to be destroyed with words and be left there kneeling at the feet of a writer who has torn out your heart and stomped on it before they gently wipe the tears from your face? Yeah?? y oU Wan NA D IE??? READ THIS AND GET REKT.  you’ll thank me later
(under the cut is just me rambling, i kept all the important stuff up here, ur welcome)
Now that the actual recs are over I can rant here- look i really tried to slim my recs down, but i have almost 300 bnha fics bookmarked,some of them are “to read” or theyre in progress, etc but i managed to get this list sorta slimmed down? a little?(to only 58!!!) but as i was gathering this post together it felt like i dont have very many Dadmight recs on that list??? but i havent rechecked all the other fics i was just going through the oneshots. i... kinda read a lot more fics with AIzawa in it instead. it be that way. DadMight content is SO GOOD. but my fav is aizawa im sorryyyyy anyway i have another SEVENteeN oneshots to put in rec posts and that does NOT include the mulitchapter and friikin series and stuff... and like i said this is aaaaaaallllllllllllllll BnHA. batfam fic posts will come after, and then star wars, and then maybe star trek? we’ll see. i have a very specific taste in ST fics and that is Tarsus IV whump. which. i have not read in a while. when they say “that trope came from ST” for sooooooo many tropes, you WISH other fandoms had tarsus as a trope, holy crap it is TOP TIER angst fodder. if you love to write/read whump, angst, and h/c i would HIGHLY recommend that you take a bit of time and explore the content and stories there. heck maybe i will make a ficrec post for just tarsus angst. ok.
my INTENTION is to edit these posts later with little links to the other fic rec lists so that itll be easier to find. but., its me, so itll either happen in painful detail or not at all
asdjkdgh its 2:30am and i need to sleep and not be rambling incoherently again I WILL SAVE THIS AS A DRAFT. 
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mrfutureboy · 3 years
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I would like to know when you started drawing and where your passion for fanart started 😊
Oh FUCK dude i did not see this i’m so fucking sorry this is so late 😭 damn you, tumblr, for not fucking notifying me!! Anyway buckle up this is gonna be much longer than you asked for <3
Honestly ive kinda been drawing all my life! I hope that doesnt sound dumb cuz obviously almost everyone drew pictures when they were kids, but i know that it’s been a consistent hobby for me since i was little. By the time i was in 3rd grade I was hoarding notebooks to draw in. Cuz that’s something fun about me: i had a real huge habit of drawing in things that werent sketchbooks. Through middle school and beyond I did buy/receive sketchbooks, but I started out with various kinds of notebooks. One I had from like 2nd grade was like a hardcover, stationary-type notebook that I drew cats in lol, and I have 2 velvet lisa frank notebooks from 3rd grade. In high school and college I had a really bad habit of drawing in the margins on my notes and on handouts the teacher/professor would give. Those classes where the prof just prints out all the notes beforehand and gives them to you to follow along? Oh man, I spent so many classes barely listening while I drew on them! I also used to draw on my physics homework and tests and sometimes I even got extra credit for them (thank you jeff :D). I actually have a folder of various drawings I’ve kept from that 8yr time period and a lot of them are on classwork 😂
Obviously, I’ve been doing a lot of digital art lately, which I’m sure is what u were more curious about rather than the shit about drawing on my homework. I got a surface pro as a graduation gift in 2016 bc prior to that i had a wacom tablet and a janky ass laptop, so the gift was kinda a 2-in-1: i can do schoolwork AND art easily! i like digital art a lot and honestly im still learning new things abt it every time i draw. I use Leonardo currently (i’ll skip that story) but I started out doing digital art on sketchfu WITHOUT the wacom tablet in maaaaybe 2012??? 2011??? does anyone on this site remember sketchfu? Honestly couldnt even tell u how i found that site hahah the internet was just full of wonders back in the day. RIP sketchfu. Once i got the tablet tho some time later i used sketchfu still (i think) but also gimp and krita i believe.
Oh i suppose I should mention that i took art all four years of highschool and also minored in it in college! So it’s something i did academically as well as for fun. I keep thinking about going to art school for realsies but idk. I’m already $$$ in debt from my first degree i dont feel like adding to that 😅😓
Ok now for the second part of your question: I’ve also pretty much always done fan art! Ive never really been one for OC’s, EXCEPT for the self-insert superhero double life “comics” i wrote about a poodle named Sassy when i was in third grade. And then the knock off “comics” i wrote at a later time which honestly it was weird that i did a knock off of my own thing rather than just adding them to the original or making it a spin off with at least one of the og characters. Cuz it wasnt a spin off!! But anyway there wasnt really much to any of these characters; i just needed vessels to get my weird ideas out.
So anyway yeah most of what ive ever drawn has been fan art or self portraits, because its just easier for me to take characters that already exist and bend them to my will (artistically). Well excluding art assignments in school i guess because i would usually have to draw something specific and therefore not something self indulgent. But yeah ive drawn for lots of fandoms like the earliest i remember is warrior cats. Then theres things like pokemon and warriors and random other books i read thru middle school (i used to read a LOT but now im practically illiterate); spn, sherlock, and marvel through high school; and then marvel and bttf thru the end of hs and beyond. Idk i also have always loved looking at other peoples fan art and so im like “shit i wanna do that too!”. Tho i will say marvel was my biggest fandom and the one i had the longest interest in, so that was probably where the passion REALLY came from cuz I was drawing marvel stuff for such a long time (tho not posting shdjsk u have to trust me), but ive been doing fan art forever :)
(Of course, a lot of the fan art i was making prior to recently was drawn in lined notebooks or on homework sheets or what have you, and I wasn’t posting really any of it, but i was still making it and a good chunk of it still exists. Oh i should also mention most of it was with pencils or ballpoint pens like i wasnt doing anything too fancy. There was some digital art in the highschool-college time frame but it also really wasnt…much. Honestly i barely posted any of it here but I know some of it’s on deviantart)
I cant pinpoint the exact time I started getting more “serious” about my art in general, but i know the first pandemic lockdown gave me more free time and i was less stressed about schoolwork so i just kinda had a good outlet. (Tho i will say that prior, I had been in a life drawing club for a short while, and i had also been working on a personal sketchbook project that had me pretty ~inspired~ to do art. Also i watched twin peaks around this time and it inspired a lot of Feelings and i was making funky collages and other art pieced that were sometimes related to that. Some of those are on deviantart)
Honestly I think the Big thing with my digital art was coincidentally getting back into BTTF the summer of the 35th anniversary bc the fandom here was THRIVING and i was like “oh shit wait i want to contribute!” But as i kept drawing i kept wanting to improve and that leads us to right now where im constantly trying new things (whether subtle or obvious) and challenging myself to do full body drawings with different poses, and doing screencap redraws and what have you for various reasons (backgrounds, proportions, pose, etc)
So yeah :) Basically I’ve been doing fan art forever (I didnt even get into all the mediums ive tried but that’s another conversation bc this is already so long and convoluted) and it’s kinda coincidental that ive suddenly really gotten back into it and have improved dramatically in such a short time. Thank you so much @rovermcfly for the ask and again im really sorry you had to wait so long for a response! Stupid tumblr
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inkdemonapologist · 4 years
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(So sorry for repeated asks) You've explored Sammy and Susie's relationship before, and I can easily imagine the crushing feeling of knowing you destroyed a good friendship for the good of an awful romance (I've watched this happen, alas :/). In your portrayal, Henry, Jack, and Susie are the only two people we've seen him remotely polite or honest to, and she's the only one he seemed genuinely sweet towards and comfortable with. Is this accurate? How does this affect him later?
(omg no I LOVE ALL UR ASKS, NO APOLOGIES NECESSARY these are always a delight, I am just quite slow and shy to answer xD IVE NEVER BEEN IN A FANDOM where people asked questions about my self-indulgent headcanons so this is a wild experience honestly xD)
Anyway at this point we've gone fully into headcanon territory I think!! I WAS ORIGINALLY GONNA ADD thoughts on how things would carry over to Escape AU but this post is already..... long..... so for now here’s just some headcanon thoughts on Sammy’s relationship with his closest coworkers!!
Susie and Sammy were for sure mutually impressed with each other but I don’t think Sammy was more comfortable with her than the others; I feel the tricky bit is the idea that being genuinely sweet towards = "being the most comfortable," rather than "doing his very best to present the most heteronormative response one would expect from someone with with positive feelings for a girl." I think Sammy is in general not a sweet person -- not to say that he can't be sweet, but that his most authentic expression of positive feelings is probably not going to look traditionally, sweetly romantic. I don't think the way he acted towards Susie was fake, exactly -- he really did like her a lot! But it was put on, trying to sustain her romantic feelings when he didn't share them.
I imagine Sammy and Henry were friends! Henry is a bit of a sheep in the way he lets people boss him around and apologises for others, but he's a sensible sheep who is good at his craft and Sammy respected him well enough. I think the two of them were kindred spirits as creators -- both kind of incapable of phoning it in or doing a half-effort job and horrifically overworked as a result. Joey's poor management skills were probably a point of like, mUTUAL FRUSTRATED BONDING -- until Henry left, and a confused Sammy had to reconcile the fact that he didn't have the guts to leave by deciding that he's just tougher than Henry, that he can take the demands of the industry that Henry couldn't.
Jack complements Sammy well and I kind of see him as the happy ending Sammy could have had if he'd not been so caught up with Joey and the Ink. Jack is grounding and cheerful, but -- crucially -- not in a grating or loud way, and evens out the intense music director. They both love music, respect each other’s work and value each other’s input. I do think it's telling that despite Sammy's reputation, Jack doesn't mind complaining about his music when he's not feeling it; I like the idea that he's quite comfortable with Sammy, one of the few people who isn't afraid of him, and Sammy in turn trusts Jack as someone who understands him better than most. Unfortunately, Jack's also a bit of a sheep who will put up with a lot of shit (literally), so Sammy kind of takes him for granted; he doesn't really open up to Jack so much as allow Jack to be closer than he allows most people.
(In comparison to the other two, I don’t think Sammy would see Susie as a sheep, at least not before the machine -- she may be naive, but she has a fierceness to her and isn't helpless. I like the idea that Sammy was genuinely taken with her strange combination of optimism and ruthless determination, and that this is one reason he found her so striking... and part of why being pushed to help Joey destroy her dreams really crushed Sammy, too, in a lot of ways).
I also feel like the person who might be missing from this list is, weirdly... Joey. Sammy’s seen him as an idealistic idiot from the beginning, but his worldview actually overlaps Sammy's a great deal, and they both must've appreciated having someone they could be open with in that way; unlike Henry, Sammy wouldn't have been put off by Joey's idea that some people are clueless actors who need to be given direction by the man with the vision -- Sammy agrees with that, he calls those people "sheep," and he's more blunt about it than Joey. Joey's excited to find both talent and ruthlessness in Sammy and would immediately treat him as Special, a Favourite who’s a cut above the rest; for all his cynicism Sammy is desperate for validation and would fall hard for Joey’s praise. Add to that the fact that Joey desired him without Sammy ever having to admit his own feelings and their initial relationship must've been, well, a dream come true. It’d quickly become apparent that Joey can’t follow through on most of his promises, but unfortunately, once Sammy is in with anyone he has a tough time backing out; ironically, he fits into his own “sheep” category quite neatly.
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penumbra-rp · 5 years
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Congratulations Akanksha, you have been accepted for the role of Bellatrix Black!
Her gaze flicked towards the interviewer, and the thin veneer of a post wave feminist boss slid over her skin “— I think it’s really important for me to be seen in this position. It’s rather odd that the fashion industry is catered towards women and yet most executives, and even designers, in the top fashion houses are…men.”
Admin Ash: Akanksha, I absolutely adored that Bellatrix was the feminist force of nature that the fashion world wasn’t ready for but she forced them to accept. You said that Bellatrix was a woman better suited to battle, wearing her skin like armor and possessing the keen readiness to obliterate obstacles in her path in whatever form they took. And as you go through the stages of her life, you can see that she’s in a consistent fight, grappling with numerous battles -- with her mother to take on less upper-class societal norms, with her father to be taken seriously as a business woman, with her volatile nature as it needed to be subdued without the proper outlet to put it. But now that the Death Eaters have given her that outlet, I’m beyond ready to see Bellatrix tap into her nastier self. 
Please check out our checklist for joining Penumbra. 
01. Out of Character
NAME: Akanksha
AGE: 23
YOUR BIRTHDAY: 10/31/1995
PRONOUNS: she/her/hers
TIMEZONE: EST
02. In Character
CHARACTER: Bellatrix Black
CHARACTER’S PRONOUNS: she/her/hers
FACECLAIM: Crystal Reed
CHARACTER’S BIRTHDAY: April 14th, 1988
PERSONALITY:
(+) EFFICIENT – Electricity followed the path of least resistance and Bellatrix was the same way; she saw her solutions in straight lines. Obstacles were removed not circumvented. In the business world, this garnered her praise – she had an uncanny ability to cut through bureaucratic paperwork. In the other matters, this trait was especially welcome. Deliveries were made quickly and discreetly. And those who interfered were eliminated at once, with little time spent contemplating the morality of it all.
(+) INTELLIGENT – Perhaps if knowledge wasn’t such a means to an end, she would have spent more time in academia. Nonetheless, Bellatrix actively sought to learn more, to know more. From languages to stocks, she kept an attentive eye on new trends. Developing a vast and in-depth repertoire of skills was what kept her far and ahead from anyone else, and she aimed to keep it that way.
(+) PROTECTIVE – Bellatrix protected what was hers. She’d learned at the foot of her father, strict but unhesitating when crushing those who would do his family harm. Those outside her family must work much harder to be considered one of hers. But once they’ve earned their place in her shadow, she will do whatever necessary to protect them and more often than not, their mistakes.
(-) VOLATILE – Bellatrix has always struggled to hide what she’s felt. This issue is greatly compounded by her mercurial nature. She went from calm to furious in a breath, and settled just as quickly. This made her rather unpredictable; some days she’d let a mistake pass and others she’d use it as an excuse to indulge in her more violent tendencies.
(-) CRUEL — Perhaps the most offensive aspect of Bellatrix was her particular brand of violence. She didn’t simply eliminate her obstacles, she obliterated them. For any perceived slight, her retaliation was ten-fold. She was quite simply mean, and rarely for good reason. Bellatrix enjoyed being cruel; it slaked some tormented creature inside her that she’d never been able to articulate.
(-) DOGMATIC — At the end of the day, you were either with her or against her, and she would interact with you accordingly. No one could truly be neutral in Bellatrix’s eyes. Her black and white worldview fed into her narcissistic notion that only she knew best. The only complicated relationships she had were those with her sisters; the differences between them were obvious, but there were striking similarities as well. Beyond them, Bellatrix didn’t allow herself the murkiness of gray areas.
BRIEF BULLET POINT BIO:
NAME – Bellatrix was born in the middle of a thunderstorm, screaming from birth. They named her for a constellation, as the Blacks had always done. They named her for a warrior, and it meant something when the Black family gave their daughter a title like that. Bellatrix was born with turmoil inside her, one that would haunt her for the rest of her life. Her skin would always feel stretched tight, like armor, and the first time her mother dressed her up for fun, make-up making a little girl seem older, she knew that femininity would only ever be war paint for her.
MIRROR – It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be a girl. She had no problem with her body, the budding curves, the slimmer face. It was all the expectations that came along with it. She fought her mother because she didn’t want to wear dresses. She fought her father because she wanted to be involved in the family business, not married off. She fought her sisters because maybe if Andromeda stopped being so difficult, maybe if Narcissa stopped being so perfect, maybe then her parents would turn their attention away and she could finally breathe. She wanted to shriek so loud her mirror would crack, and maybe then the jagged reflection would look more right to her than the dark haired, red lipped princess who stared back.
ACADEMIA – She somehow scored the highest marks in her class but very nearly didn’t graduate from secondary school due to the sheer number of transgressions. Her father’s lethal charm, both carrot and stick at once, ensured her graduation and there was something in his eye that told her he was proud of her. On the cusp of adulthood, she finally managed to prove to her father that her mind, her hands were worth far more at House of Black than as a negotiating piece. Bellatrix studied the right courses, spent her summers interning at the fashion house, and graduated from the Slytherin School of Social Science poised to take over.
CAREER – The moment she was initiated into the Death Eaters, the clawing, hungry thing inside her settled. Or rather, it was appeased with the promise of danger, with the deadly games and trades, with the scent of blood. Executive Director of House of Black itched less when it was meant to be a cover and not her reality. She did her job well, better even, once she had an outlet for the tendencies that made her blood simmer beneath her skin until she burned from the inside. For that had always been the struggle of a starry warrior – Bellatrix was fearless and bright, but she was at her best in battle.
OPINION – While Bellatrix appreciated the privileges associated with The Sacred 28, the gendered aspects of the culture grated on her. Being raised in that culture allowed her to slip in, seemingly one of them, but her family always knew better. Only the youngest Black had thrived in those spaces. She preferred The Death Eaters mostly because it was the first place she had been able to be her complete self. For the first time, she hadn’t had to shave off the distasteful pieces of herself to be seen as appropriate. The Death Eaters had provided her a true sanctuary, and Bellatrix would be damned before she let some upstart activists ruin that.
INTERVIEW:
i. How do you feel about your current occupation?
— Bellatrix didn’t bother smiling; she hadn’t been pleased about the interview in the first place. In fact, she distinctly remembered telling her youngest sister that as Marketing Director, Bellatrix expected Cissy to head off any and all journalists. She didn’t have the time or, quite frankly, the temperament. “I enjoy my work, if that’s what you’re asking,” she said, dark eyes still focused on the contract she was reviewing. “It’s a very high energy environment, which suits me particularly well. And—“ her gaze flicked towards the interviewer, and the thin veneer of a post wave feminist boss slid over her skin “— I think it’s really important for me to be seen in this position. It’s rather odd that the fashion industry is catered towards women and yet most executives, and even designers, in the top fashion houses are…men.” Her nose wrinkled in distaste. “There’s legacy and family here, yes, but House of Black continues to be trendsetting in more ways than fashion, and for that simple reason I could never consider a position anywhere else. I love this company and my job.” She smiled then, more bared teeth than grin — she’d never been able to truly hide the predator in her — and the unspoken for now became clear.
ii. What song would you say describes yourself?
— Bellatrix tilted her head in consideration. Lips curving into a smile that was relatively softer, more knife edge than blatant fangs, she turned back to her computer. Neatly manicured nails (she never bothered with fancy colors sticking to nude or black) tapped her keyboard with ease and accuracy. A click, and a thrumming beat began to fill the office followed by a rich female voice. We wear red so they don’t see us bleed… “Trouble by Valerie Broussard.” She didn’t offer any further explanation.
iii. Does reputation matter to you?
— She leaned back, chair tilting and arms folded across her torso. There was a quickness to her movements, something a little faster, slicker than Narcissa’s stunning grace or Andromeda’s serene gentleness. “Of course it matters, how could it not – businesses are built on reputations; but deals only come through when you have the knowledge, the skill, the competence to back your reputation.” She observes the interviewer for a moment. “I know I match up to my reputation.” Her quick up-and-down gaze seals her assessment and the interviewer can sense her judgement easily; they don’t even have a reputation, none that she’s heard of, so she doubted they had the competency either.
iv. What is your relationship with your parents like?
— It was the first time in the interview that Bellatrix was caught off guard. Everything in her felt jagged for a moment – being off-tilt was uncomfortable for a woman who prided herself on her preparation. But she was a Black. So Bellatrix straightened her spine, shoulders back, chin up, dark eyes even. “I suspect you’re asking due to the nepotism here.” She didn’t mince words, or care to lie. “Family always comes first; that’s how I was raised. My relationship with my parents is complicated and definitely improved once it became a more adult relationship, like anyone else. But I also know, that they will always have my back, and I will always have theirs.” A more honest answer would have been too nuanced for her to articulate to someone who knew her well, let alone an absolute stranger. Her family had been both cage and sanctuary, and her parents had always held the keys to the lock.
v. What languages can you speak?
— Unlike Andromeda, who only spoke a few languages because she didn’t study them further, unlike Narcissa, who pretended she only knew a couple, Bellatrix boasted her five languages with an arched brow and a smug tilt of her chin. “French, Italian, Russian, Japanese,” she listed, each word emphasized with another pointed finger. She added her thumb and gave a cheeky wave. “And of course, English.” There were a few more she could fumble her way through, strictly for business needs, but Bellatrix wasn’t the sort of woman to advertise in which ways she was mediocre. She was the best because to her, there was no other way to be.
vi. If your home was on fire and you could only save one item, what would you choose?
— The question felt rather silly to Bellatrix. She didn’t feel attachment to items, her loyalty was to her family. And even then, the material objects that mattered to her most was almost always kept close to her. “My work bag,” she answered with an artless shrug, angled to gesture the sleek black leather bag. “I keep my laptop, wallet and phone in it – in this digital age, my most valued possessions are all kept safe in cloud storage.” Besides, family heirlooms were more her sisters’ realm.
vii. Which Hogwarts University faculty did you study at? The Gryffindor School of Applied Science, the Ravenclaw School of Humanities, the Slytherin School of Social Science, or the Hufflepuff School of Art?
– Her patience was beginning to thin, each inane question causing her jaw to set. “I believe this is information you can find with a quick search,” her voice was dangerously saccharine, and the nervous stutter she received in response pleased her. “This time, I’ll save you the work.” Don’t let there be a next time, she said, not through words, but through the hardness of her gaze, the line of her neck the slope of her nose. “I completed an accelerated course of study to graduate with both my undergrad and master’s in International Commerce. From Slytherin.” What a quick search wouldn’t tell the interviewer was that in those five years, she very nearly also completed an Industrial Operations Engineering degree from Gryffindor. She’d liked applied sciences well enough, but not enough to fight her father on it.
vix. What is your social media username?
— “Another thing you can easily search, so this time I’ll let you handle it,” Bellatrix responded dismissively. “If you have any other questions, please email my assistant. Had I known what a waste of time this would be, I would have had you do that in the first place.” Her voice was cool and matter-of-fact, and before the interviewer had even stood, Bellatrix had turned back to her work. Fortunately for the interviewer, her username was easily found on her business card;@BellatrixBlack printed in neat font above icons for Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. It was clear upon further research that Bellatrix didn’t run her social media – they were highly curated business accounts. And no amount of research would reveal her extremely private personal tag that she only used for Snapchat & FlooNet: @bellatrixie.
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narraboths · 5 years
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@whythinktoomuch​ was kind enough to tag me in a 2018 fic roundup post, and i am awake enough to make it, albeit with a few things omitted and most likely with a lot of rambling, so:
my only published fic of this past year was there is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin aka Kingdom AU, my sweet, ugly firstborn at 10,985 words with its lonely first chapter; a very re-formed SC take on the movie Kingdom of Heaven.
my favorite fic is, in many ways, Kingdom, since this is the first time i’ve 1) actually written a substantial amount of a coherent text (i think my drafts probably tally up to 60k, four times of what my MA thesis is currently at) 2) dedicated time and energy to actually deliver on a not entirely half-assed piece of creative writing. another baby in the works is [redacted] whom i dearly love, a joint enterprise with @mooosicaldreamz that’s at about 30k rn and currently making me rethink my decision not to do a history degree.
hardest fic is literally everything i ever write since it does not at all come easily to me and i am a very sturdily mediocre writer when it comes to non-scholarly work. i’m getting better with practice and all, but i dont have a lot of confidence in it, and i very easily lose interest and motivation.
do you plan on taking prompts in 2019? i only function well as a prompter lol.
what was the best thing about 2018? gathering the strength to put something out was p good! but i do just love all the writers whom let me pick their brains and yell at them about their awesome stuff, yall know who you are. also just self-indulgently banging out all the fucking period AUs that i want. they might be sitting in my drafts until the end of time but if i want to dedicate my time and resources to writing something where Kara is a cross-dressing Austro-Hungarian military officer noone can actually stop me
what was the worst thing about 2018? Kingdom is a fucker to birth and continue to work on and ive scrapped and reworked and rewrote SO MUCH in it (and it certainly shows in the reception lol) & like. i swear i update @ all three of you actually invested in it.
Goals for 2019:
publish the rest of Kingdom
i dont make promises to myself or my nonexistent avid readership cause this will be a very challenging yr for me when it comes to my studies but i hope to get back to writing Some more! it’s rly wild to me that ive gone almost a yr without publishing a single fic and im sure thats quite a lot due to S3 killing all my creative intent lmao.  
specifically not talk about what @whythinktoomuch wanted but extend it from 2k to 10k including ******* ****** ***** ***** :)
tagging @pippytmi @bossbeth & anyone else whom would like to do it!
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