#this is my best drawing in months and I can’t even post it on Instagram because my parents follow me there

[idolomantises]

I think I’m gonna discuss this once and hopefully never have to bring it up again. Originally I wanted to talk about it on Twitter but people are very disrespectful when it comes to mental health so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Basically, I haven’t been doing so great, mentally. Nothing bad has happened to me, I’m safe and surrounded by people I care about, and it’s been like that for months. I just, I haven’t been feeling good.

For people who do follow me on accounts like Twitter and Instagram, you may have noticed I haven’t posted anything new since January. I was struggling to feel motivated to make something for my main accounts despite having countless ideas I’d love to work on. I feel better now and do plan on getting something done in March, but that sudden lack of motivation is pretty rare for me. Art is not only my job but a big hobby for me, I just love drawing. I did get some nsfw art done at least.

I don’t know what really prompted my mental health decline, I’ve been getting a few worried messages and fanart because someone insulted my art. But that didn’t hurt me at all, it actually boosted my account and patreon.

I guess I just… got sad?

I have a really bad tendency to suppress and even ignore my trauma and feelings of guilt. And I guess one day I really sat with my thoughts and I just, lost it I guess. I have so much traumatic memories and sudden and intense feelings of self loathing, something I’ve never felt in almost a decade, that it got overwhelming. I couldn’t reassure myself, I couldn’t really talk to anyone about it because how do you confront things that happened years ago? You feel almost irrational. It’s just memories that haunt you, it’s nothing physical or tangible and yet it’s a crushing feeling of anxiety, self hatred and resentment.

I was crying almost every day, and crying so much that my eyes kept hurting long after I was done, and I could barely see my own screen. I’ve had paranoid thoughts about myself and others, thoughts I can’t get into because they’re so deeply irrational. I was feeling suicidal urges and thoughts of self harm. I don’t see myself doing it, but it’s so frequent and overwhelming it’s like I’m already planning my suicide note.

I was talking to my therapist about it, that I was starting to hate being alive. That I hated living. That I could spend the next 50 years of my life with no more conflict or trauma and I’d still be in intense misery and turmoil. They’re feelings I couldn’t really bring myself to tell friends about because what could they say? How do you calm yourself down and reassure yourself. I can’t even talk about my trauma verbally without crying. And it’s funny because sometimes minor irks started to affect me negatively. I was feeling anxious about what to draw because I didn’t want to do deal with homophobic backlash.

I went to a therapist, I talked to friends, Ive been working out more and eating better, I did everything I should do to improve my mental health and all of a sudden a single night just sitting in my room destroyed everything I was slowly building up over the past 5 years.

It’s been really difficult for me. I think also, I just felt so much guilt over not being the best person I could be. I decided to lessen my online usage, not just for my mental health but because I really wanted to work on being a better person. I want to stop hating myself and letting my trauma push me down and I want to do just be better and do better as a person. A lot of people have been very forgiving and kind to me but I don’t feel like it’s enough and I want to do more and I want to feel better about myself. I want to give everything I can to people around me. I’ve been going to therapy a lot more lately and things are getting better for me, but it’s been a very slow process.

I just want to repeat that nothing serious has happened to me. Nobody attacked me in a way that negatively affected my health. A lot of people, friends and strangers have been really nice to me these past few months. I just was doing a lot of self reflecting and unintentionally forced myself to confront a lot of my trauma. I’m saying trauma a lot. I don’t want to get into depth about what I endured because it’s my business but people who do know me know how bad things were for me. I don’t want to feel like that again. I want to feel better, and I want to do better.

Sorry for the long read. That’s just how I feel.

#txt #suicide tw #self harm tw #I was very hesitant to discuss this because whenever I talk about mental health it leans into #one side. who are super well meaning but feel obligated to make sure that I’m okay. like I’m their responsibility when I’m just a stranger #online and my thoughts and feelings should never make someone feel like they have to ‘protect’ me #and another side who sees me purposefully be vague about some of the things I discuss like trauma and regret #and just construct their own narrative and get mad at me for it #at this point I’m just too tired to care about the potential backlash of the latter #if you read all this and think I’m saying I did nothing wrong and everyone is bad except for me that’s your fantasy you get to live in #I just want to be honest about my thoughts and feelings

[driedupeyeballs]

OH MY GOD???? I already love them sm

I literally edited a new profile for them for this cuz the old one was outdated BUT YEAH IDK IF THIS WAS AN INVITE TO INFODUMP ABT MY JAMIAZU FANKID BUT IM USING IT AS ONE

Btw I can only wish to achieve your level of snake knowledge I thought my reptile hyperfixation went deep but yours is deeper I wanna know your ways

But that isn’t relavent YEAH HERES MY JAMIAZU FANKID HI TUMBLR *lets them out like you would a spider under a cup*

So I have a shit ton of Twst fankids btw! They kinda swim around in my brain but only a few ppl I know have gotten the info dumps lmao

Skye was the first one I made I think (actually it might’ve been Rico (florid) but eh oh well who’s counting)

But yes this is Skye Ashengrotto!

They’re my older Jamiazu kid, I do have two. The younger one is my octo boy Akram :) he’s funny I wanna pinch his cheeks but he’s not the point here

So Skye! It feels weird publically infodumping abt my OCs like wtf am I even supposed to put here

They’re a half mer, which do work a lil different than normal mers in my lore. Half mers can transform without a potion but it’s still a long and generally painful process, esp going from mer to human. I kind of switch between calling them a snake mer and a naga but there’s lore there- Nagas exist in my lore outside of sea snake mers, there are also fully terrestrial Nagas. So the terrestrial nagas wouldn’t be considered snake mers but the sea snake nagas would be a type of mer while also still being a naga ITS CONFUSING DONT ASK (actually do. Ask everything so I can roll more of my fankids out like marbles)

Skye was created by a spell, I haven’t quite worked the details out 😔 but Jamil is part gorgon in my lore which is why they have the hair snakes which isn’t a typical naga trait. And to elaborate on the hair snakes: they are alive, the one w the bigger stripes is Flora and the smaller stripes is Jett. Skye can communicate w them telepathically and their eyes glow which is kinda neat. They’re kind of Skye’s version of floatsam and jetsam (unless u count Rico (florid) and Lilac (treyjade) which is like their ver of the twins- IDK ITS COMPLICATED)

idk what else to put here so LETS THROW SOME FHARACTER DYNAMICS YEAH and also mentioning some of my other fankids! They all have profiles (except my Malleus kid I’m sorry Aihan I can’t think of a design for you) but I’m probably gonna save those for another post-

So jamiazu in my lore live in the Shaftlands in a beachfront place and also live pretty close to Treyjade, however Florid live in the Queendom. The octatrio and their spouses is a close group so they’re essentially a big family. My treyjade kids are Maren (older) and Lilac, then my Florid kids are Rico (older) and the twins Mary and Eliza.

Skye saw Lilac more as a kid cuz they lived so close together but also saw Rico a lot when flrd would visit or they’d go to visit them. Rico is an agent of chaos and Lilac is Skye’s 2nd in command so their dynamic on a surface level is pretty similar to the octatrio, but there’s still a lot of differences once u get into the meat of it. Tho Lilac and Rico are Skye’s best friends and basically like siblings to them.

Outside of jamiazu Skye is particularly close with Jade, they share a love of tea :) he’s their cool but also slightly unsettling uncle

THEN THERES SHENZI- Shenzi is my younger kaliruggie kid and I am not gonna get into her here bcuz she rlly needs her own post w all her trauma but good lord these two do not like each other. Shenzi’s really nice but she’s not quite as nice as Kalim so after about 5 months of trying and failing to befriend Skye in their freshman year she just gave up and now their relationship is nothing but hostile (which was not helped when Shenzi and lilac started dating)

Speaking of that tho- so my idikei kids :) Ember (named after the pokemon attack) is the older one and he’s basically that “Jock idia can’t hurt you he’s not real Jock idia:” thing as a person he has the Fire hair n shit but he plays basketball and is heavily extroverted but no one gives a shit abt Ember this is NOT ABT HIM this is abt his sister! Her name is Zelda because you know Idia would name his daughter Zelda- she got all of Idia’s social anxiety lmao. She’s extremely shy and there’s a total of like 4 people in the school she can actually talk to without melting into a small stain on the floor. She’s an Skye are both in board games club and sometime in early freshman year she falls on her ass and knocks over a bunch of stuff which Skye happens to witness and cue the most awkward interaction known to man bcuz Skye can’t talk to pretty girls and Zelda can’t talk to ANYONE but they end up walking to the mirror hall together afterwards which becomes a routine. Except they’re both awkward as fuck take like almost two fucking years to get together bcuz neither of them are gonna do anything abt it BUT THEYRE VERY CUTE!! I love them

Also my ashengrotto siblings are very wholesome I need to write some stuff w them- Akram is a little shit and he loves pissing Skye off but at the end of the day he admires them and Skye loves their brother a lot :)

Anyway good lord I’ve yapped too much okay OH YEAH Skye has a Russian blue cat named Mariana who they just fucking found on the side of the road and thought it was a mouse so for like 2 years Azul thought Skye was gonna eat the cat

OK HERES RHE ACTUAL PROFILE these aren’t as chaotic as the other ones all the other ones are more meme than profile ALSO RHEIR UNIQUE MAGIC DOESNR HAVE A NAME AT THE MOMENT IF ANHONE HAS AN IDEA FOR ONE PLS SHARE I HABE NO THOUGHTS

(If you recognize my art style from instagram no you don’t also THEY DO HABE EYES I JUST DONT DRAW THEM CUZ MY STYLES WEIRD)

But yeah I love them I hope they explode (affectionate)

#Skye ashengrotto #they have a tag now I guess #twst ocs #fankids #twisted wonderland #jamiazu #shaking as I post this #wHY IS SHARINF UR OCS SO NERVERACKING I WAS LIKE THIS WHEN I FIRST POSTED MY YUU OC TOO #maybe that’s just me #ash-OCs

[elydraws]

𝒀𝒂𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒐 👹 ヤマト • son of Kaidou 🐉

“What will that survival even mean?! Only a return to slavery, counting down the days to death!!

Surrender is not the same as salvation!!”

⛩⛩⛩

One of the best #op “minor” characters for me🌱

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I know it’s like ages from my last post but life is pretty much harder in these last months and my self-criticism is not helping at all.

I don’t like half of my drawings and I can’t even finish them without throwing them away in the trash. So I’m pretty happy with this one, at least I like it, and is one of the works that I finally completed.

Like always what I’m missing is practice and time to do that 🥲

I leave this drawing here, hoping that you guys can forgive me and that you’ll like it like the last reel I posted on IG that has reached almost 300k views! Thank you so much for the support!

If you want more of this content check my Instagram: ely8draws

#one piece #op #yamato #straw hat luffy #kaidou #wano arc #oda eiichiro #anime dayly #anime #manga spoilers #manga #character art #my art #digital aritst #digital art #illustration #op yamato #one piece yamato

[herssian]

For unpopular artists like me, how do I start? I began drawing around February, but I haven't been able to gain followers yet. How should I promote my artwork in order to gain recognition?

consistently post your work on multiple platforms but if it's too draining to keep up for a sliver of recognition, if that, drop said platform and move to greener pastures (hahah nooo don't directly mention instagram aha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). said greener pastures like tumblr, twitter, deviantart, artstation, are not that green either, yet we are but hungry cows stuck to preordained fields and there's only so much we can do lest we starve

have a healthy balance between drawing popular things and things you love. if the two coincide, you've hit the jackpot. if you don't want to draw what's hot and scalding this month, draw what you love. yes, even exclusively. but draw it

original art won't get immediate attention unless you have a stroke of luck. HOWEVER, original art makes the world go round so if you have it, draw it, post it, talk about it. some of us enjoy original content even if we don’t understand it

engage with other creators but don't do it as a means to get something in return. follow, like, comment on the works you truly enjoy and inspire you--do not use other artists as a means to get their attention and then rinse and repeat in hopes you'll gain an audience this way. it's super shitty to do to someone and have done to you (which will, eventually, happen to you but you can block, ignore, call their mother so she can shame them)

“where’s the bullet point addressing the skill level and talent” it doesn’t matter

“but if i’m good--” it doesn’t

actually

matter

lol

the better your art gets will get more recognition, yes, but it’s not a given. your doodle might garner more attention than all of your Louvre-deserving pieces combined. people want entertainment--fully rendered pores may or may not strike someone’s fancy. you can’t do anything about it but keep working on your craft and better yourself despite the possible numbers or lack thereof. it’s an advantage to your arsenal as an artist to be better at what you do, both if you plan on going professional or not

the internet isn’t fair to artists. it was ever so slightly, narrowly, barely, microscopically more a decade ago but it’s even worse now because in truth we have no dedicated place to share our art. you might be the most creative, talented, resourceful creator on the web, and you may or may not still flop horribly. AND YET, keep drawing and sharing. i cannot stress this enough

don’t be a dick to people even if you get popular :(

i sincerely wish you the best of luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ฅ⁍̴̀◊⁍̴́)و ̑̑

#asks #anonymous #/ long post

[sugarplanet]

"Did I Draw That?" Critiquing Your Old Art and Tracking Your Growth

You’ve probably had that feeling before where nothing you’re drawing is quite up to snuff or you can’t seem to make anything you’re particularly proud of. Art blocks and creative ruts are a plague to most artists and sometimes it feels like you’ll be sick with them forever. As someone who can find it hard to draw or post when I’ve lost any sense of motivation because “my art isn’t good enough, I don’t have any followers,” I’ve made myself work harder on redirecting towards more productive means of self-critique and analysis to keep me from self-destructing over my craft. One way I go about self-analysis or finding inspiration again is by comparing myself to myself instead of to artists that are years ahead or behind me so I can see how I’ve been taking to the efforts I’ve made to improve while, where I want to improve more, and get reacquainted with my art in a more personal sense instead of looking at numbers of likes or views on post next to other people’s art.

I found an exercise I did back in 2021 where I was practicing some lighting and paint stoke techniques free hand, really experimenting with the most innocuous thing I could think of at the time; a lady holding a cat. I did the first piece on a whim, making things a little flat, and then actively revisited the piece a couple months later with some sharper brushes, a more expressive subject, and greater contrast in color and value. I even added a simple background to make things a little more interesting. I did like some things in both pieces (the color palate and understated texture I got in the first piece and the greater energy in the later piece) but I know there was plenty of room for improvement (mainly the anatomy and the blobbiness of the cats). Looking at the pieces, I tried to find the mindset I had when I worked on them and think about my approach; as flawed as they were, I liked them a little still and wanted to try one more time to see if I could make something out of it.

This piece feels more disciplined than the others with a background and stronger anatomy but does employ some of the spirit of the first two in the painterly approach.

It’s nice being able to look fondly back on your own art, but it can be a little worrying at times liking your old art while also combating feelings of dissatisfaction with your current output. There’s a belief that one mark of improvement is being able to look back on your own work and reflexively gag over how wonky the quality is. With that logic, you liking your old work at all must mean that you either haven’t improved at all or you can’t see how you’ve improved. To counteract that kind of downward spiral-inducing line of thought, understand that part of becoming a better (and happier) artist is being able to see your skill and improvement while also being able to spot your shortcomings and improving them without fixating them. I wasn’t always able to look at my own art objectively and redo an older concept or update a piece so easily but understanding the value in all of your work, even the super dated and wonky stuff, does a service to your craft (not to mention your self-esteem.)

If you feel like your work isn’t up to snuff or if the dredges of stagnation are biting at your toes, try sifting through your portfolio or sketches or psd files of over stuffed canvases with hundreds of layers (I’m not the only one that does that, right?) and see what you’ve found since before you first discovered that new brush set or around a time when you were last energetic in your work or even something from this time last year. It’s best to see if you have any files separate from social media like twitter or instagrams so you aren’t judging your work based on arbitrary popularity or clickability; look at it without bias and be fair to yourself. Is there something you found that you liked or really don’t like at all anymore? Could you see how to improve on it if you’re sure you can do better? I’d suggest a character design or portrait that you like in a way but can instantly think up a few ideas on how to make it a lot better. All the progress you’ve made is going to shine through each new detail and correction; you’ll take good care to treat something so important well!

#journal #my art #self help #self improvement #redraw #art critique #cats #cat portrairs #digital art #clip studio paint #art tips #brblog

[keef-a-corn]

This is just me venting

Shoutout to that one person from Instagram that absolutley ruined me ✌️😚

Like thanks babe, I needed to be taken down a peg

Now I thrive with the sheer amount of anxiety I get when it comes to sharing and chatting

Love the way you made me scared to share posts I found that are over a couple months old, or how I get really nervous telling stories that involve anyone outside of the person I’m chatting with.

Love the way you ruined my New Year’s Eve a couple of years ago, making me break down and cry for about an hour because when you told me about an experience I had aligned it with ADHD traits (after being very open about the fact that I have ADHD) and not only did you get mad at me for even implying you have ADHD, but you made me feel extremely insecure about having it myself.

Let’s not forget the way you lashed out at me when I asked you a question about an artwork (it was ‘where’s [X] standing?’ Because the scaling and everything looked incredibly off and I just wanted to understand what was happening)

How about when I got too nervous to share an experience with a creator because I was young, they were older than me, they had more friends, we had been in an argument for about a year, and I couldn’t physiologically take it anymore, then we resolved the issue and you deadass got mad at me.

Oh wait, no.. it was also earlier than that, when you called them something like toxic and I told you that I had never considered them like that before (as in it never clicked for me that they were toxic) and you stopped talking to me and when you did it was just to tell me off- as if I wasn’t the victim in the situation and wasn’t the one that couldn’t recognise how greatly this person had affected me.

The endless uncalled for venting?

OH! How about that time I showed you a drawing and instead of giving any praise or feedback you didn’t mention the drawing and instead asked why I still made Gacha Content, so I gave you a full list on why I do it and your reply was something like ‘Nevermind’ and I asked you why you asked and you still haven’t told me to this day.

What about when I helped you find disgusting CountryHuman art and artists to report, then a few days later you message me saying we can’t be friends anymore if I still like countryhumans, not even just informing me that you don’t like it and giving me the option to leave the fandom or stop being your friend.

Reminiscing on when I got super excited and nervous because I messaged and artist I adored, then we got to chatting and it was super exciting for me, so you actively searched for any reason to hate that artist, and when you found one, I had suggested I can simply ask them to edit the post and remove it, so that it wouldn’t be a hassle, but you kept saying not to bother.

I messaged them anyway, suggesting to remove it and they were more than happy to do so because they’re a normal fucking person who recognised that maybe it wasn’t the best decision, then you got mad at me??

How about when you were super judgemental of my ship [this was countryhumans btw] between Australia and Germany, while you shipped America and Australia. Then my reasoning of just enjoying the places and knowing that there’s peace between them was never enough??

I could never come to you with dramas from my life because you’d either ignore me the whole day, or you’d try to one up me.

Anytime I said anything that upset you, you wouldn’t talk to me for, minimum, an hour, which would leave me stressing and apologising.

These all greatly affected me because now I:

Rarely share and promote posts that are older than a few months, seeing it as me embarrassing myself (I want to get past this, because I know sharing and enhancing with posts are important on platforms)

Get nervous discussing ADHD with people who aren’t diagnosed and feel like I have to purely mention the good things, rather than the everything.

Think I criticise too harshly and feel like no one can use my critics and that they’re useless.

Fortunately I don’t get into a lot of creator drama, but if I do, it takes a while to get support.

Now I get nervous to vent at all. Never wanting to put pressure on being listened to.

I just.. I think about that regularly…

Now I get scared to tell people I’m NOT in a fandom anymore. Never told my ex partner I didn’t like Countryhumans anymore.

Now I get nervous reaching out to creators at all (praise my moots) and have to rely on people coming to me instead.

I managed to get past that one and now have a perspective of ‘if it’s not illegal, go off’

Once again, greatly affected the way I open up to others, even my therapist.

Now I have an incredibly weird relationship with apologising, as it’s lost all it’s meaning.

As I said

Thank you

So much.

I loved experiencing that as apart of being a minor on the internet.

#vent #personal vent #this is just #something I had to make public #they live in my head rent free #and I just.. #can’t #they’re a huge contributor to who I am today #them among many #but I never really recognised them as #being bad #for me

[josiebelladonna]

god as my witness, i didn’t want to do this.

but it seems like the world has drastically shifted in the last two months and hatred has swept through everywhere like the coronavirus, and i cannot risk being around people who perpetuate that hatred combined with fearmongering and it’s always done without even realizing it or knowing it. antisemitism is a form of racism, as the jews are levantine and not white, and the fact that swaths of people on here do not see this, understand it, or even question it is flooring to me especially when so many have the fucking balls to preach to the diaspora that they know their culture better than them (that is some real big brother shit, let me tell you).

now, full disclosure: i’ve been critical of israel in the past, just because i didn’t like how they were collectively punishing palestine for h*mas, and yet i’ve always been careful to differentiate the israeli government with the people as well as the rest of the diaspora (and fyi, a huge number of jews and israelis are on my side with this) because people are not their governments—and lo and behold, israel is letting netanyahu and herzog have it as we speak. i’ve always said that i wouldn’t be the artist i am today without the jews as my first big illustrative project with my cartoons was based on a Holocaust survivor story.

and as i’ve done more and more reading into israel, as i’ve been crossing paths with more and more jews and israelis over on threads and instagram, as i remember my brother visiting there back in 2018 and he and his wife absolutely loved it, i realize that the hate and the pro-palestine crowd really has no basis or substance: i get rude comments from that side all the time and they’re always like schoolyard bullies, or they try and flip the script and call me a zionist even though i’m not jewish and i can’t believe that’s an actual slur now because all it is is “the jews should be safe and coexist with their neighbors peacefully”: it’s not fascism, and it’s not “pro-genocide”, it’s about letting the most marginalized people on earth live.

now, do i feel palestine deserves better? absolutely. abso-fucking-lutely, and like i said, there are a lot of jews and israelis (25% of that population is arabic, hence why i say that) on my side with this, and way more than you think, too. they’re all indigenous to that land and this is a conflict that is very old and a little tiresome at this point, and apparently both sides are tired of it. i try not to take sides here for this reason: i’d rather listen to people talk and be supportive.

it’s all anyone can do. it’s imperative to bring in the word “and” here and i don’t understand why that’s so bloody hard, either.

i should also mention that “free palestine” is not only a genocidal statement against the jews and the israelis, but once you realize that h*mas are backed by iran and russia, known hostile powers, you should understand that palestine itself actually has nothing to do with it and this is a conflict that doesn’t involve us. the chant is pointless at best and an excuse to be antisemitic at worst.

kicking cal to the curb hurt, to be honest. always loved them, always got a kick out of them; but when i see them actively participating in blood libel against the jews and then turning around and saying “happy hanukkah”… no, i’m sorry. i can’t. i can’t. hypocrisy is where i draw the line. if you actively post that godforsaken “from the river to the sea” chant and then have the gall to wish all a hanukkah sameach, it’s closet antisemitism. i have to stand with the jews.

dora… i was starting to lose interest a while back, before all this happened, mainly because i was just starting to lose interest in the goth subculture—once a very cool community that i found deep interest in because i’ve always had this darkness in me has become not only just another meme but a bastion of pretension and you guessed it, hate. dora is like one of many former friends of mine, in that she got so belligerent and militant about her beliefs and that makes for a hostile environment. writing hamfisted lyrics and putting “this machine kills fascists” on your synthesizer makes you come off as so corny and edgy and like you have an anger problem more than you’re standing for something (when i was at my heaviest, i had mood swings, too; i get it). and once i realize that she’s older than me, it just gets sad, and uncomfortable and not in a good way, either. it’s on par with bikini kill screaming about palestine and subjecting themselves to potential charity fraud while israeli women and men were quite literally assaulted on october 7 and are grappling with the trauma.

feminism is such a hollow parody of itself now, and these two are just two cases of that, and i have a feeling i’m going to be doing this more. i’m going to start banning people but i don’t care if my follower count drops like a rock, though. it has a number of times, it can do it again. and it’s going to be painful for me, but i need to stand by what i believe in, and i need to clean house before 2024 starts—i’m probably going to be on main here less next year, anyway, just because of lifestyle changes and i have a lot of art and writing including kinktober all year on the horizon for my side blogs, but i need some clarity.

by the way, is anyone else totally weirded out by the sheer amount of lgbtq+ people who are pro-palestine? tel aviv is one of the most lgbtq-friendly cities on earth, and yet being that way in either gaza or the west bank will either get you jailed or killed (it gets even weirder when i realize the region not only birthed judaism but christianity as well; islam didn’t come about until some 500 years later and it came from persia—al-aqsa in jerusalem built on top of the temple mount is enough for me to understand that none of you see the forest for the trees). i genuinely feel like i’m living in a david lynch film or that we all died with bowie, prince, and leonard cohen in 2016 and we’re living in actual hell when i think about all of this.

“pro-genocide”… where do you people get off.

#sigh #we all need to turn a page at some point #personal #text

[creatiview]

[ad_1] This year seems like a good year for a great trip. On The Times’s Food desk, where I’m an editor and also write a weekly newsletter about New York City restaurants, we’re already scouting for the year’s best restaurants, and I’m guessing many of you are planning trips with food in mind, too.Trying to figure out what reservations you need and what’s worth a line can be overwhelming, but don’t fret. I asked two of my colleagues, Priya Krishna and Brett Anderson, and we have tips for how to choose where to eat when you’re on the road — or even in your own backyard.Ask the localsTraveling to a new place can be nerve-racking, but don’t be afraid to ask for recommendations from the barista at that coffee shop near your hotel or your tour guide. Often, locals won’t send you to the restaurants that show up on every best-of list but instead to their beloved haunts.“My first move is to mine my contacts for locals to hit up for advice or contacts who might be able to introduce me to locals,” Brett told me. Both he and Priya look to local newspapers and websites, though, increasingly, vigorous local food scene coverage can be hard to find. “Local news is much more helpful in larger cities,” Brett added.Use maps featuresIn October, I went to Paris and felt as if I were drowning in choice. Thank goodness for Instagram’s Saved Places feature. Use it as a way to save restaurants you’re interested in visiting. Just click the address in a restaurant’s Instagram bio, and that should send you to a page with its location, tagged posts and other items, including a small bookmark. Click that bookmark to add it to your Saved Places.To find that list, open Instagram’s sandwich bar (located in the top right corner of your profile page) and click on the bookmark icon next to Saved. A similar feature is available on Google Maps.You can also use Instagram to see which restaurants are frequently tagged in a city. That may mean they’re trendy, but I find that a medium amount of tags (about 1,000 or so) usually denotes local adoration.Priya uses Instagram in a slightly different way when scouting. “I like to check the Instagram pages of chefs in the area that I respect,” she told me. Then she looks at who they follow or where they go to eat regularly. For instance, it was through the Instagram of Donald Hawk, the chef at Valentine in Phoenix, that she found Kabob Grill N’ Go, one of her favorite restaurants of 2022.When to book reservationsIf you simply must go to a popular restaurant, set a reminder about one month ahead of time to start looking for a table. For instance, here in New York City, many so-called hot restaurants take reservations no more than three weeks ahead.New reservations tend to go online around 10 a.m. on platforms like Resy. And if you plum forget to make a reservation — hey, it happens! — cancellations usually roll in around 24 hours before the scheduled dining time. (A chef told me last year that about 25 percent of reservations at his popular restaurant were canceled on the day of.) And don’t be afraid to walk down a popular restaurant stretch and pop into a place where the menu really draws you in. As Brett put it, “I am moved by menus that make me hungry.” Follow your hunger, and you (probably) can’t go wrong.For moreTHE WEEK IN CULTURESecretary of State Antony Blinken canceled a trip to Beijing over what the Pentagon described as a Chinese “intelligence-gathering balloon” flying above the U.S.Lawmakers were concerned about the balloon because of a recent classified report that outlined American adversaries’ potential use of advanced spy technology.U.S. employers added 517,000 jobs last month, an unexpected burst of hiring that dropped the unemployment rate to its lowest in more than a half-century.The Northeast is waking up to dangerously cold temperatures, with wind chills falling below zero degrees in some places.U.S. officials’ concerns that Russia will launch a nuclear weapon have eased up since tense moments last fall.

A jury found Elon Musk not liable for Tesla investors’ losses after he tweeted about the company in 2018.CULTURE CALENDAR🍿 “Magic Mike’s Last Dance” (Friday): Steven Soderbergh remains one of the most interesting American film directors around. In just the past four years, he has released a Covid-era thriller (“Kimi”), a period neo-noir crime film (“No Sudden Move”), a light Meryl Streep drama (“Let Them All Talk”), a quirky semi-comedy about the Panama Papers (“The Laundromat”) and a movie about a sports agent that he filmed on an iPhone (“High Flying Bird”). Now, he returns with the third installment in a series that kicked off with the 2012 film “Magic Mike.” Salma Hayek joins Channing Tatum in this one. There’s something for everyone.📚 “Big Swiss” (Tuesday): A woman has a job transcribing a sex therapist’s recorded sessions. While listening to some of those conversations — among the most intimate one can imagine — she starts to fall in love with one particular patient, a tall blonde woman whom she labels with the nickname that gives the book its title. Then, she runs into her in real life. (If this summary intrigues you, read this Vulture profile of the author, Jen Beagin.)RECIPE OF THE WEEKWafflesWhen did you last pull out your waffle iron? If you can’t remember, then it’s high time for a brunch of crisp, golden waffles, slathered in butter and maple syrup. This straightforward recipe has everything you want in a waffle — the crunchy edges, that airy texture, those little square pockets just waiting to be filled with syrup. Whip up a batch this weekend, then freeze any leftovers, which are easy to reheat in the toaster. Your future self will be very grateful to find them on Monday morning, when such a deluxe breakfast is usually off the table.A selection of New York Times recipes is available to all readers. Please consider a Cooking subscription for full access.Elegant and understated: Dress like a designer.Time off: Taking short breaks helps your brain refocus.Loneliness: Retirees lose millions of dollars a year to romance scams. Here’s how to protect loved ones.Better workout secret: Caffeine can help you lift more weight and run faster.ADVICE FROM WIRECUTTERThe art of de-pilling sweatersNothing spoils a cozy outfit like fuzz balls marring a sweater, but a little effort and a couple of Wirecutter-approved tools can help revive even the worst offenders in your winter wardrobe. When de-pilling synthetic fabrics, use a motorized tool. Go slowly, and lay your garment on a flat surface to avoid snips and snags. For delicate natural fibers like wool and cashmere, Wirecutter experts recommend using a more gentle metal sweater comb. Gently glide the comb’s teeth over pilled areas while pulling the fabric taut. Lift any lingering fluff with a sticky lint roller, then confidently step out in your like-new knits. — Zoe VanderweideGAME OF THE WEEKENDNo. 1 South Carolina vs. No. 5 Connecticut, women’s college basketball: When UConn announced that Paige Bueckers, the former national player of the year, would miss this season because of a knee injury, all eyes fell on Azzi Fudd, one of the game’s brightest young stars. Then Fudd hurt her knee, too. “So much for having two of the generational players, right?” Geno Auriemma, UConn’s longtime coach, told The Times. Injuries have so depleted UConn’s roster that the team had to postpone a game last month. And yet, the Huskies keep winning; the team is now 21-2, despite sometimes having only seven players in the lineup. Noon Eastern tomorrow on Fox.Related: Women’s basketball has seen a rash of injuries this season.NOW TIME TO PLAY [ad_2] Source link

[skimmilk11]

just some good friends with their cat idk

#and they were roommates #my art #artists on tumblr #wlw art #illustration #digital art #sapphic #this is my best drawing in months and I can’t even post it on Instagram because my parents follow me there

[lovemeian]

seijoh 5 inky thoughts—

not me headcanoning crap just because i have so many thoughts on men with tattoos, like. yes, sir. you’re right. you’re absolutely valid and right.

iwa calls you ‘doll’ + issei calls you ‘pretty girl/boy’ + tani’s an absolute sweetheart <3

masterlist.

tattoo artist!oikawa— an absolute flirt. biggest revenue of their shop is his instagram and wild thirst trap posts of his artists & piercers. has on sense of personal space or ‘privacy’ when it comes to them; they’re flexed arms + serious expression is free real estate. always booked to the brim months in advance, likes doing colourful works; dainty but intricate pieces are his speciality. talks you through the pain, very chatty, very flirty. it’s kinda hard not be attracted to him while your in his chair because he’s charisma is just wild. king of terms of endearments and praises— “breathe through your nose, pretty baby, you’re doing so well for me.” and like, he smells sweet and soft? like fresh laundry? and sandalwood and lavenver? and he’s so close that if you don’t end up simping for the man, i applaud your self control. & if you both vibe well and are comfortable with each other, mans might actually kiss your hand and end it with a wink.

tattoo artist & piercer!iwaizumi— mate, if your mouth doesn’t water the minute you come for your appointment idek what’s up. i just. see this black muscle shirt, sweatpants, and his face curled in concentration when he’s bent over you like sir, how rude for my poor heart. his arms flexing to control the machine, and he’s so close, he smells like fresh shower and musky body spray that mingles with sweat soon because its hours later, and he flexes and smiles at you, half apologetic about his state. but! also kind of baby powder??? if that makes sense??? and despite his very gruff stature, his voice is very calm and low like, if you’re scared and it’s your first time getting tattoo or pierced— “it’s okay, look at me. just look at me. you’ll be okay.” won’t call you pet names unless like, it’s sessions later and he’s gotten closer to you that he greets you with a smirk and a, “so what’s it this time, doll?” WOOF. his work is prided more on the critical details. takes lesser bookings because he does a lot of big or intricate pieces. incredibly patient and bonds well with his clients that if you’re down to be friends, the best (sexiest) friend to have.

piercer!makki— likes getting tattoos than giving them, but he’s an absolute joy to have as a piercer. will test your mood and make jokes to ease into the scariness of it all. breezy flirter, it’s just how he is. very casual with it, that even uses the most obnoxious petnames like ‘aye, honey bun, what’s up?’ ANNOYING but adorable. if he’s concentrating, then you’ll see his pierced tongue and if he catches you looking, man is winking, going, “like what you see, huh? can’t blame ‘ya.” annoying, but super cute— that’s his entire brand deal. will take so, so much care in telling you how to deal with aftercare so you don’t get it infected. likes recurring customers and is just so at eased that you just. . . relax right back. unconsciously draws circles on your skin while he hums while he works. he smells like coffee. just. fresh brew. and some fruity, minty candy that he’ll probably offer you if you’re too panicked. distracts you when the piercing’s about to go, like, will do one-liners like an idiot to keep you distracted.

tattoo artist!issei— ah. the sexiest tattoo artist you’ll probably meet. ngl, very intimidating even before you’re booking lol, his slots are at the oddest fucking hours that people wonder if his ass is an actual vampire from oikawa’s rude photos— sexy tol man in black clothes and so many silver accessories and smirks? to having a slot at 12am?? are you okay sir?? but his office is nice, superiorly wipe-cleaned from top to bottom, some moody rock song or croony jazz one, playing in the background. his odd hours are usually easier for him, because he’s a night owl. despite it, theres a long list of clients wanting to booked, always need to be months in advanced because he takes the fewest slots. he does more intricate, thick pieces. from pattern tattoos to really big ones. every single tattoo is worked on damn near for hours because he likes jotting as littlest of the details as possible. issei smells like body spray, gum, and kind of the really fresh humidifier smell shshsh, and lightly of smoke and leather. he can do long stretches of silence, sometimes humming along to the music, but will chat with you if ya wanna. he’s just more. lowkey. will call you ‘pretty girl/boy’. if a session gets really late, he’ll probably walk you to the station/bus stop? if you’re ok with it.

piercer!kyotani— poor bby, he looks intimidating, but he’s so soft and patient. it doesn’t help that some people piss him off— makki or oikawa — so you may sometimes hear him shouting, half growling when he slaps on latex gloves. and he looks so serious, listening to how/where you want your piercing, and the minute he speaks— answering any questions or the like, his voice is low and calm, and you can see how patient and knowledgeable about it he is. he would make you choose the songs to play, not back-biting on how much it might hurt, and to tell him immediately if anything feels wrong/too painful. his aftercare notes after are bulleted pointed, and telling you his number/social media is always free in case you have more questions or how the healing is doing. he’s the most concerned about his clients, asking for updates, and feeling satisfied from another satisfied customer. he’s actually such a sweetheart, best piercer this block of the gang.

made by lavi <3

taglist: @asaitashi​, @jadasz​, @encrytpta​, @kenmaslov3r​, @wuyaiscrow​, @sakusasimpbot​, @omiikeii​, @jesssobs​, @uhhkims​, @iworshipyelena​, @fiona782​,

#seijoh #oikawa headcanons #haikyuu x reader #oikawa toru x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #haikyuu scenarios #hanamaki takihiro x reader #matsukawa issei x reader #iwaizumi headcanons #kyotani kentaro x reader #haikyuu headcanons #kyotani imagines #makki headcanons #issei headcanon #lvmn.shorts #lovemeian. #mine.

[rainbowsnsunnies]

Bullet Journal - Beginner Tips and my first bujo

A couple of days ago, I asked for tips from the tumblr bujo community for first-timers and little hacks that help with the overwhelm a newbie feels while starting their first bullet journal (the passive pressure to make your bullet journal eye-catching is unreal!). As always, the studyblr community and the bujo community here was super helpful and they gave me some amazing tips and advices. I thought of compiling it into a post for later reference and as a basic guide for someone who is just starting out and could do with some extra tips.

Don’t blindly follow spreads, customise them to fit your OWN needs, there’s no one-size-fits-all

Your first bujo will almost never look like the ones you see on Studyblr/Pinterest. Accept it, you’re just starting on the journey. You’ll get better with time

MAKE SPREADS THAT YOU ARE ACTUALLY GOING TO USE (this was repeated quite a few times, so I wanted to highlight this), the more spreads you abandon (like unnecessary habit trackers, or daily spreads when you really don’t have much day to day), the less likely you are to continue with the journal.

Have a pen you like and keep it along with the bujo always, this helps jot down quick notes and increases the chances of you using the journal

Don’t be afraid of changing things and spreads every now and then to suit your needs at the moment, it helps you find your style and keeps things fresh. This is also why it is necessary to not make too many months at once, you may not like the spread later and then you’ll be demotivated. Take it one month at a time.

You absolutely do NOT have to make it super artsy, make is as plain and minimal or as colourful and artsy as you like. Again, suit it to YOUR needs, don’t just ditto someone else’s spreads (unless it exactly suits your needs)

Feel free to get creative with washi tape/stickers if you like (Amazon is your best friend for stickers)

Pick one spread at a time and then keep adding one or two each month as you continue using the bullet journal so you don’t feel overwhelmed

Remember that functionality>>aesthetics, if its pretty but not useful to you, its not really an efficient planning system for you. If you just want to use it as a way to channel your inner artist and creativity, by all means, do it. But if your main purpose is to get organized and use it for planning, functionality should be your priority (bujo is supposed to make your life easier, not a task that you dread)

If you have the time, note down what you want to actually use the bullet journal for and what spreads will be useful to you. You can find loads of inspiration and help on Pinterest, Tumblr, Youtube, even Instagram! Don’t be shy to take some notes 🙂

Don’t over commit to ALWAYS have an aesthetic bujo. Some months you might find the time to decorate it, some months you might not. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t make it aesthetic consistently

(Thank you to @baugloophows @boot-prints @dixeyray @obsidian-rain @ptowzapotato @mersari89 @dungeonsandfierceorangecats @lunarstudiesblog @nexusnai @space-clown-bitch-boi @smokee78 @abigmothinalittleworld @seekcoffeeandfindhappiness for the advices :) )

Here is my first bullet journal, if you want to see

I am using my old diary that a previous employer gifted me for my bullet journal since I'm just starting and don't want to spend a fortune in getting a new one (I went online to get a new one, and not gonna lie, for a community that claims to be super flexible and cheap and fit-your-own-needs, its kinda expensive, I'm sure there are cheaper planners at Target. But again, the system in itself does not ask you get a brand new expensive journal, even an old school notebook will do)

Now, I'm not an artist and in no way, am capable of sketching or doodling or drawing but since I had the time and energy to do it right now, I tried making an artsy cover page. It is inspired by lootengstudio on youtube. I really liked the idea of including butterflies since it symbolizes transformation and I am kind of undergoing a major transformation currently.

(like I said, I'm no artist, but I tried)

The second page I made was a monthly cover page, again, I tried to make one inspired by Pinterest but I'm quite sure I did not imitate it well enough (I mean its a penguin of its own kind and puts God's own creation to shame, hahaha)

The next spread I made is a 6 months or half yearly goals plan. I used to have yearly goals earlier and it has never worked out well for me since I tend to put off everything till the end of the year and then cram everything in the months of November-December and end up getting nothing done. So I'm hoping breaking the year in 2 will help me achieve more, but we will see how it goes. I'm not adding a picture of the spread here since it is quite personal.

Next, I drew a schedule page. As I'm studying from home these days, it does get quite hard to separate study time from rest times. So I broke down the day into hourly blocks and kind of, time-blocked my day (for the week). I'll repeat this spread every week, depending on how different my commitments are each week. (not sharing it again for personal reasons but here is an image from Pinterest so you can get an idea)

Is your bullet journal even a bullet journal if you don't have a habit tracker, haha. The next spread I made is a habit tracker, pretty basic with squares for each habit. Only thing I did different that I haven't really seen in any of the spreads online, is that I've put a countdown for 'strikes', that is the times I miss a particular habit. I've put 3 strikes, meaning I can mark a habit as done even if I have not for 3 times, since my days get super hectic somedays and I genuinely cannot find the time to do everything that day (like say I have an essay due and if I haven't been able to work on it, I may skip my night skin care routine and instead use the time to work on my essay) and it doesn't really mean I avoided or neglected the habit, its just that it was impossible to do it that day. So I have allowed myself 3 strikes (in total, and not 3 strikes for a single habit) after which, I'll leave the habit unmarked. (again, not sharing it for personal reasons, again, a picture from Pinterest so you can get a basic idea :) )

The last spread is a weekly/daily spread. Weight loss is a major goal of mine this year, so I want to track my weight and other parameters at the start of each week. I've included a little record of the numbers (and a 'eat take-out food' coupon to ensure I eat home made food most days of the week). I usually have a lot to do day-to-day, so I've made daily spreads. Its pretty basic, just a to-do list incorporated in the bujo.

I hope this post inspires you to start your own bullet journal and is helpful in beginning your journey.

Good luck!

#studyblr #100 days of productivity #uniblr #lawblr #student #productivity #accountingblr #bullet journal #bujogram #bujolife #bujoideas #bujoblr #bujocommunity #bujo aesthetic #bullet journal inspiration #bullet journal 2022 #bullet journal setup #bullet journal community #bullet journal ideas #bujo #bujo spread #planner

[achillieus]

let you down. (sebastian stan x reader)

summary: it's a universal truth but it's worth repeating; feelings eat us raw. or just an actor and a girl falling in and out of love over the course of three months.

(this was inspired by sebastian's visit to greece for his movie, monday, and is based on that, so that means in the story we’re in 2018. also i have this posted on ao3 too but while i’m writing the last parts i thought of posting it here too)

pairing: sebastian stan x reader

warnings: alcohol, sexual references, implied depression, don’t kill me because of the ending, sebastian and reader are the definition of right person wrong time, it's kinda slowburn because i love the yearning, also this part has some funny moments but overall it’s a big SOB

part: 6/6 (there will also be an epilogue)

(other parts)   (masterlist)

This is how it ends: broken hearts from crashed dreams.

Sebastian holds you until his muscles ache and your lungs burn from the feeling of too little oxygen. It is cold and dark, almost midnight, too dark, a starless night.

No more stars for you and I.

“Here,” Voice hoarse, eyes heavy-lid and itching from almost crying. He gives you one of the rings he wore in the movie. “I want you to keep this.”

Keep it close to your heart. Forget me not.

He takes a breath and a step back, tries to regain all the strength he still has, steady feet and shoulders fixed. He digs his nails into his palms, red marks in his skin, air catching in his throat, he’s on the verge of falling but he stays standing.

He remembers tears glistening down his cheeks, maybe they were yours not his, and the cold autumn wind hitting his face and he remembers feeling like he’s dying.

And then he closes the door of Argyris’ car and looks at you.

And his heart stretches and stretches and stretches and then somehow splits in half.

/

It goes like this:

There’s a ghost that lives in your apartment from now on. In the living room. Sitting on the couch. And it has steel blue eyes and a familiar heart. And it whispers a love story, half-finished, and you cannot make it stop.

The ghost touches your collarbone and he’s gone but there’s a ring in a golden chain around your neck and a white shirt forgotten in your laundry. And it smells like him. The clinging scent of his aftershave sticking to your pores. Eucalyptus. And no matter how hard you try to wash it off, it still lingers.

How could I ever forget someone like you?

The ghost lives here, but the place is empty, so empty. And it’s hard not to cry.

/

Sebastian calls and texts a lot.

He tells you he’s tired but excited because he started filming a new movie. It’s very indie and experimental, I can’t wait for you to see it. He tells you he’s missing his days in Greece like hell and that one night he dreamt of you. Didn’t want to wake up. What he doesn’t tell you is that he’s coming back in a month, Argyris needs him for some extra scenes. It’s nearly killing him but he doesn’t tell you. He wants to surprise you, see the pure light in your eyes when they’ll meet his.

/

You try sexting. It doesn’t go very well.

23:50, sebastian: if you were here in my bed right now what would you be doing

06:51, you: probably falling asleep hahaha

06:51, you: oh fuck was i supposed to sext back

06:51, you: sorry seb i just woke up and i have a class in an hour, love you <3

23:52, sebastian: fuck timezones

/

(three weeks and 10 seconds later)

“I can’t believe she doesn’t know you’re here,” Argyris shakes his head as he’s driving home from the airport, “If I were her, I’d kill you.”

“Good thing I didn’t fall in love with you.”

Sebastian laughs and looks out of the car window. The stars. There are so many stars tonight. He holds his breath; he’s finally feeling whole again. His heart isn’t split in two anymore.

/

You don’t know how long you stand there at your door, staring at him, but it feels like a century before he grins, almost laughs, takes your hands in his and you start considering that perhaps this isn’t a hallucination. Perhaps it’s real.

“Surprise?”

Something inside of you bursts, your organs twitch. You can’t think, you can’t speak, but you can move. You don’t lose any more time, you take a step forward, attach your bodies, your face buried in his neck, your fingers clutching into the rough fabric of his jacket. You breathe him in like an antidote.

“How?”

“Does it matter?”

“No.”

You kiss him and it’s like poetry, like art, like honey and you can’t separate yourself from him, not even hours later.

/

(looking back, these were the golden days)

You pretending to be mad at him for not telling you he was coming back and him pressing his lips on your skin, drawing patterns on your naked shoulder. A feathery touch.

Sebastian always touches you like you’re something made of gold and porcelain, something cherished that constantly needs to be treasured. And nobody has done that before. And you love him for it.

You try to decorate your Christmas tree together. He messes with the lights for a while, eventually gives up and goes on to eat too many reindeer shaped cookies.

He massages your muscles when you write a boring essay for college.

You go with him when he has to shoot a “driving a motorcycle naked in the centre of Athens” scene and you bite the inside of your cheeks to stop smiling like an idiot.

He gives you a dress he bought for you in New York.  

“You didn’t have to.”

“I know, but I wanted to.”

He calls you sweetheart in the mornings, still half asleep and later joins you in the shower.

“Why are you so hot?”

“Climate change”

“Oh, shut up”

It’s tender and it’s soft and it’s human.

And that’s the saddest part.

/

Soon you realize that him leaving two months ago was merely a rehearsal and you still haven’t said your actual goodbyes. Your chest starts to feel as if it’s full of crushed glass.

And it’s ridiculous because you fell in love with Sebastian sometime between the first ten days you spent together.

Who falls in love in ten days?  

Ridiculous or not, you know you are in love with him just as you know that sooner or later, whatever he is feeling will fade and wither. Maybe it’ll be in a week, maybe it’ll be in a month, maybe in a year if you’re lucky. But there will definitely come a day when he will step out of a gala or a party or a fancy gym in New York with a beautiful model in his arms and two paparazzi’s following him around.

What will you be then?

A past small cameo in his life. A side character. Will he remember your name?

He is your whole world.

(a bottle of cheap prosecco helps you decide that)

He is your whole world.

And yet, there will come a day when he won’t even remember your name.

/

It was difficult. No, it was the most difficult thing you’ve ever done. Telling him how you think it’d be better if you didn’t talk after he leaves.

“I don’t agree with this.”

“Seb, it’s for the best.”

Your body doesn’t feel strong enough to carry your heart. And you’re certain it will only get worse once he’s away. The world around you will melt. You’ll obsess over a phone screen and his messages. You’ll start chasing ghosts again. You can’t handle that.

“Why?” He says urgently and his fingers dance over the flesh of your palms.

“Because this”, you motion your hand between the two of you, “is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever had in my life and I don’t want it to become ugly.”

He nods, he understands.

“I love you, you know,” he says smiling and tugs you closer to him, “And I may not be here to show you but I think I’ll love you for a long time.”

Your hand grips his waist right to the bones and something flares in your eyes, something wild that wrenches you around.

“I know, I’ll love you the same.”

“Maybe we’ll meet again.”

“Only if I’m the luckiest girl on the planet.”

He laughs and you look at him, fully aware he’ll be ripped out of your life like a page from a cheap leather notebook. And when you kiss for the last time, there’s a hole forming in your soul.

And just because endings don’t leave visible scars to one’s body and soul, that doesn’t mean the scars don’t exist. You know they do, because you feel the aching pain of every single one of them.

/

(every night when you close your eyes you see him)

(every night you look at the stars and think of him)

/

A month passes and Argyris asks you if you miss him.

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

“He said the exact same thing.”

You tell him not to mention Sebastian again.

Two months pass and you need to stop stalking his instagram profile.

Three months pass and you almost text him.

Four months pass and you go to watch Endgame with some friends and you cry. You cry when Black Widow sacrifices herself and when Iron Man smiles at his wife while dying, and when Bucky Barnes appears on screen.

The others don’t understand and you don’t blame them.

Five months pass and Argyris’ girlfriend wants you to meet someone. A charming boy your age with blonde hair and a lip piercing.

And he's cute but you compare him to Sebastian even before he has the chance to say his name. His eyes are not the right shade of blue and he doesn’t look at you like you’re made of the world’s finest jewel.

And he doesn’t know any constellation names.

And then more than a year passes in a second and you learn to not look for him. Not anymore.

/

It’s early March 2020 and despite the rising fear of the upcoming pandemic, you’re doing well. Scars are starting to fade. And after spending two weeks in Prague, your best friend being there with an exchange program, Sebastian Stan is the farthest thing from your mind.

Until he literally comes crashing into you. At the airport.

No, it can’t be him.

You have your suitcase on one hand and a bottle of antiseptic gel on the other. He has two bodyguards on his sides and a black hoodie on.  And while half of his face is hidden behind a mask, you can see his eyes perfectly. A frozen lake in December. You would know those eyes in your deathbed, at the end of the world.

Your vision gets blurry and suddenly you feel cold.

He won’t recognize me, he can’t.

But then he looks at you and every memory you had buried inside of you resurfaces.

He motions to his guards to wait for him and he starts walking towards you. You breathe slowly, one breath at a time. He takes his mask off and you hesitate to take yours, not sure if you truly want him to see you.

You exchange the typical and very awkward hi, how are you, i’m glad you’re doing okay and then he smiles and it feels comfortable. Familiar.

It’s the whiff of another time that you always kept around. A reminder that you were once loved by a god.

“What are you doing here?”

“Filming Falcon and the Winter Soldier”

If you hadn’t unfollowed him on instagram, you’d known.

“Ah yes I heard about that, congrats.”

He nods a thank you.

“And you? In Prague?”

“I was at a friend.”

He looks conflicted, hurt, turns his gaze to his shoes on the grey cement. You want to say something, but you feel like throwing up.

And then he laughs.

“I was right.”

You’re confused, he notices.

“Back in Greece,” he swallows, “I told you this would happen.”

“It would have been an airport, different gates for each of us, but same waiting hall. Or a Greek island, where we’d both be for the summer.”

“I would have found you.”

You remember and you cannot help but smile. He was right. He found you.

“I didn’t believe you then.”

I barely believe you now.

He touches your hair. And his touch is like a knife. And you want to cry. Magnolias under your tongue. A love long lost is whispering in your ears until it hurts to listen. He’s like a magnetic field and you feel yourself drowning in him.

“I bet they’ll ask me a hundred questions about you later.” He says and looks at the two men waiting for him.

“And what will you tell them?”

“That you’re most probably the love of my life.”

Don’t cry, don’t cry.

“There’s no way we’d meet here if you’re not.”

“Sebastian,” His name sounds like a prayer coming out of your lips and you're ready to tell him you love him and you can swear he looks like he’s ready to faint, “I-”

The guards yell his name. And it's the same feeling people have just before a car crash.

“I’m sorry, I have to go.”

One last look.

Don’t cry, don’t cry.

You repeat it over and over again. But you fail.

“No, don't cry” He smiles, one last smile, “Just look at the stars and wait for us to meet again, because we will.”

He caresses the back of your palm for a second and you think your ribcage is shattering but it’s only your heart drumming frantically. Pushing your fragile bones to break. 

You want to stop him, wrap your arms around his torso, never let him go. Not again. But you don’t.

You just watch him leave, one more time, your knees weak, your head heavy and dizzy. For the split of a moment he turns and glances at you but then he’s nowhere to be seen.

Perhaps it was all in your imagination. Perhaps it was nothing but a wonder.

You get into your plane and you silently sob.

/

And then it’s summer.

And you overhear he was seen with a girl, the day before your vacation starts and you find a picture of them together a week later, a pretty blonde girl clinging to his side with a colorful bikini somewhere in Spain. And he’s smiling. And you feel so ashamed. And so stupid.

They say time heals all wounds but they must be wrong because you can’t forget how he used to smile at you or how he used to call you the love of his life.

Was he joking when he said you'll meet again? You bet if you asked him now, he wouldn't even remember saying it.

I’ll love you for a long time.

So long for nothing.

/

i really appreciate feedback, it motivates me tons and also tell me if you’d like to be tagged :) also i’m really sorry if you asked me to tag you and i didn’t  but i lost a lot of asks and the urls of the people that sent them :( 

tagging: @lharrietg @awkward117 @dannaloureen @broccoligf @cutestfangirlvevo @caitdaniels @arymb @buckybarnesishot310 @roguesthetic @itsaliceheree @sara-1705 @dorothea-hwldr @freshfreakoaftrash @drinkfantasy @christinamcdonnell ​@partypoison00 ​ @90ssantiago

#sebastianstan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagine #letyoudown #monday the movie #sebastian stan angst #sebastian stan x you #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader

[richincolor]

The weather is warming up in my little corner of the world, so here are three books I hope I can take to the park and read in the upcoming months!

Queen of the Tiles by Hanna Alkaf Salaam Reads/Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers

CATALYST 13 points noun: a person or thing that precipitates an event or change

When Najwa Bakri walks into her first Scrabble competition since her best friend’s death, it’s with the intention to heal and move on with her life. Perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to choose the very same competition where said best friend, Trina Low, died. It might be even though Najwa’s trying to change, she’s not ready to give up Trina just yet.

But the same can’t be said for all the other competitors. With Trina, the Scrabble Queen herself, gone, the throne is empty, and her friends are eager to be the next reigning champion. All’s fair in love and Scrabble, but all bets are off when Trina’s formerly inactive Instagram starts posting again, with cryptic messages suggesting that maybe Trina’s death wasn’t as straightforward as everyone thought. And maybe someone at the competition had something to do with it.

As secrets are revealed and the true colors of her friends are shown, it’s up to Najwa to find out who’s behind these mysterious posts—not just to save Trina’s memory, but to save herself. -- Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Café Con Lychee by Emery Lee Quill Tree Books

Sometimes bitter rivalries can brew something sweet

Theo Mori wants to escape. Leaving Vermont for college means getting away from working at his parents’ Asian American café and dealing with their archrivals’ hopeless son Gabi who’s lost the soccer team more games than Theo can count.

Gabi Moreno is miserably stuck in the closet. Forced to play soccer to hide his love for dance and iced out by Theo, the only openly gay guy at school, Gabi’s only reprieve is his parents’ Puerto Rican bakery and his plans to take over after graduation.

But the town’s new fusion café changes everything. Between the Mori’s struggling shop and the Moreno’s plan to sell their bakery in the face of the competition, both boys find their dreams in jeopardy. Then Theo has an idea—sell photo-worthy food covertly at school to offset their losses. When he sprains his wrist and Gabi gets roped in to help, they realize they need to work together to save their parents’ shops but will the new feelings rising between them be enough to send their future plans up in smoke? -- Cover image and summary via Goodreads

The Lesbiana's Guide to Catholic School by Sonora Reyes Balzer & Bray

Seventeen-year-old Yamilet Flores prefers drawing attention for her killer eyeliner, not for being the new kid at a mostly white, very rich, Catholic school. But at least here no one knows she's gay, and Yami intends to keep it that way. After being outed by her crush and ex-best friend, she could use the fresh start.

At Slayton Catholic, Yami has new priorities: make her mom proud, keep her brother out of trouble, and most importantly, don't fall in love. Granted, she's never been great at any of those things, but that’s a problem for Future Yami.

The thing is, it’s hard to fake being straight when Bo, the only openly queer girl at school, is so annoyingly perfect. And smart. And talented. And cute. Either way, Yami isn’t going to make the same mistake again. If word got back to her mom, she could face a lot worse than rejection. So she’ll have to start asking, WWSGD: What would a straight girl do?

Told in a captivating voice that is by turns hilarious, vulnerable, and searingly honest, The Lesbiana’s Guide to Catholic School explores the joys and heartaches of living your full truth out loud. -- Cover image and summary via Goodreads

#queen of the tiles #cafe con lychee #the lesbiana's guide to catholic school #weneeddiversebooks #young adult books

[angelkurenai]

Imagine Pedro being teased and questioned about how close he is with you, Gal’s adopted sister, and trying his best to hide the fact that you are actually dating.

“So, Gal, I am going to direct this question mostly at you but of course anyone can get to answer. I actually wanted to know your opinion about it.” Conan said, as Gal herself nodded her head with a smile.

“Oh, please, with pleasure.”

“There have been several photos, and I do not mean just from paps or professionals. Even you on your personal instagram posted a few. Which, to say the least, broke the internet as we all saw.”

“Yeah uh truth is my instagram wasn't working for several hours afterwards and I thought it was just me but then I kept asking others and got the same reply from everyone! Turns out, we caused a blackout of sorts.” Gal laughed, admitting to it before looking away in embarrassment while the rest of the cast nodded their heads as if almost giving her a a playful glare, even through the screen of the computer.

“And the reason behind that, who would have thought, a couple photos!” Jimmy nodded his head “Your sister, your adopted sister (Y/n), came to visit you on the set of Wonder Woman 1984. It was, for lack of better words, a historic moment not just for instagram who crashed because of the popularity of the photos but also for comic book fans worldwide. It was the closest we could get to a Marvel and DC crossover.”

“You say that because she was in her costume in some of them yeah?” Gal asked with a bright smile, always loving to talk about her little sister as Conan nodded his head “Yes, it was (Y/n)'s idea and everyone knows it, I can never say no to my little sister. Plus, she was right; we had so much fun fooling around in our costumes! I had more fun than I've ever had on a set of a movie before. And, yes, I almost always enjoy the movies I'm in, but this one- this one was truly something else! We- almost everyone, I think, played along as we acted as our characters and filmed some scenes just for laughs. I really really hope they make it into the bloopers somehow.”

“So you're planning on taking down youtube next, I see. I see.” the host nodded his head with playfully narrowed eyes, seeming all suspicious and making everyone laugh.

“No, no I swear! I don't want to!” she said in between laughter “We all had so much fun and an amazing time on set and in front of the cameras, playing superheroes that it would be incredible for the fans to see! It's- Really, it is kind of an unofficial crossover that should make it to the internet at least!”

“I'll have to-” Patty spoke up “I'll have to give it to Gal, she is right. (Y/n) had this amazing idea and creative at the same time because she had a small plot in her mind and lines and everything concerning the set. We all did a small setup and filmed it and, honestly, it came out to be real good!”

“Patty is no even exaggerating and Gal is certainly right. We had so much fun filming that small crossover, and (Y/n)'s ideas were brilliant! Fans will definitely love it!” Kristen said in addition.

“She truly is an incredibly talented, smart and creative person, besides an absolute darling. So kind to everyone and sweet, we all couldn't get enough of her. And-” Patty raised a finger “I will say it here once more because Gal has heard it before: the fastest we've filmed a scene in this movie. And it was all thanks to how professional she was, it was truly incredible!”

“Well, I can't ever deny it, my little sister is the biggest star there is! Oscars or other awards aside, she proves how great she is on every set on her own!”

“And you are definitely her biggest fan, as we all can clearly tell.” Conan pointed out with a small laugh “Speaking of, I think we do have someone who could only be described as your main rival on that sweet stop of being your sister's number one fan. Someone who hasn't been shy about expressing his admiration about (Y/n) but who has yet to utter a word.” Conan looked back up from his papers and said someone almost felt his heart jump in fear and nervousness, hoping that at least nobody noticed that he was indeed being silent for a reason “Pedro, you're being uncharacteristically quiet about this one, especially for something that caused Instagram to crash within thirty minutes of the photos being uploaded. I'm not- I'm not used to this from you. Come on, talk to me. Say what's on your mind.”

“This is oddly- I'm getting strange deja vu vibes here. Must be cause of that one time I visited a therapist. Long story short, it was only one session for me and about hm at least 25 for him. I heard he's still going to a therapist now.” he shrugged casually, earning laughter from everyone. He chuckled slightly himself, glancing over the screen of his computer while trying his best to keep anything from showing on his face even more so his smile, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I mean-” he cleared his throat “Ah man, what else can I say? The ladies have spoken, and they've said exactly what- I believe anyone that gets the opportunity to work with (Y/n) or watch her movies would agree she is one of a kind.” he shrugged softly with an adorable smile “Besides, it feels like anything I say is just going to be used against me, so I- I better keep on silently observing. That does seem like it's the safest option here.”

Pedro's laugh was more of a nervous if not awkward one, but he was pretty confident it was just no different to how he would usually laugh away questions he didn't want to answer in interviews. Most celebrities did the same, he wouldn't be the first nor the last, so he didn't expect Conan to insist any further. He didn't want to push his luck, he had been really successful (if not blessed after all these close calls) with all these online interviews to not have everything revealed by accident, so now especially with the current topic, he didn't feel like messing things up. He loved this privacy, he didn't want to lose it not yet, he wanted you and this all to himself for now. And he wanted the story of how you met, of how over that one month and a half on set he felt himself fall in love with you.

And yet... Yet, he was probably a weak man, a man who couldn't help but indulge even if he knew it could probably get him in trouble. You were worth it, though, you were worth all of it and as you were his weakest spot and so indulge he did. He slowly chewed on his lower lip and he so subtly looked over the screen of his computer.

His eyes fell on you, still splayed on his bed, book in one hand and steaming mug on the nightstand – your nightstand on your side of the bed, the thought of which made his heart flutter inside his chest – hair slightly messy, that oversized Mandalorian shirt on, which you'd gotten all excited amongst many many more fandom related toys a couple months ago and couldn't wait for him to see. A shirt which had, inevitably, ended up being taken off you barely ten minutes later starting from him stealing kisses and leading to the two of you making love till the very morning in between endless giggles. The pup you'd gotten – the both of you – not so long ago made a small noise drawing your attention for a short moment as you kept petting him, the both of you too tired to do anything else after an exhausting day of playing. Pedro couldn't complain, although he'd been a part of it he had mostly spent time filming everything even if you hadn't been the one to ask him to, he couldn't help it.

It was something that the both of you decided on and although you hadn't said it out loud, you both knew and at least Pedro hoped, that it was the next step, a very important one, in your relationship besides you moving in with him. To be responsible for another living being together was, if not a test, at least a way to see how well you could cooperate. And, if he could say so himself, you had been doing great so far.

“Good morning, darling. Here for morning kisses? Yes? Come up here.” your giggles were able to warm him more than the sunlight coming through the window “Ooooh someone really loves mommy, don't you?”

And then your words set his entire being alight. Or more specifically that one particular word.

“Well-” he stretched a bit, his arms finding your waist again to bring you closer and cuddle with you “Who doesn't love mommy in this house?” he couldn't help it as his smile turned into a lovestruck grin “Morning, mi amor.”

“Good morning, darling.” you pecked his lips “And don't worry, mommy loves daddy back, enough to make up for the rest of the world.”

As if reading his mind, you chose to look up from your book at him, smiling as you held his gaze for a good few seconds. So much love was evident, even in those few seconds, he could almost feel his own heart burst. Yet another reason for him to control his reactions from showing just how much on high on happiness and love he was. You shook your head, eyes wide as you heard Conan speak again, you playfully mouthed to him “Focus!”

As subtly as possible he tried to clear his throat and taking the mug of coffee that was beside his computer, he took a sip and decided to focus on it as much as he could. Until the subject changed, at least.

“...Wise man. I feel you, so don't worry I'll leave you to it.” if only he knew the big sigh of relief Pedro tried to hold back as Conan continued “It's the tactic I follow 99% of the time when I'm out with my wife, just smile and wave kind of thing. Alright-” he nodded his head in thought “Alright, well, let me ask you all something else. You keep saying in front of the cameras and talking about this small crossover, but I assume she must have been around for longer than that, yes?”

“Yes, yes she was there for at least a month, a month and a half I think. She was on vacation, after being done with filming, and she decided that before heading home that she'd come by and visit us. It was meant to be for a short period of time. She loved the place... the people, perhaps, how could I know for sure?” she shrugged not looking innocent in the least bit, earning a few laughs.

“Anyway-” she cleared her throat “And you see before she knew it, before we all did, one week turned into two turned into three and so on. It-” she chuckled “She was around on set and with us on all those beautiful locations we were in. And while we were all working and walking around with purpose and the need to finish this scene with so much pressure on- on our shoulders and she was just sitting around with a iced coffee or tea on her hand, sunglasses on and phone on the other hand looking she didn't have a single care in the world. It kind of made everyone a little bit jealous to be honest.”

“A little? Cause I sense that there's more than you're letting on, Gal. Come on, spill the tea.”

“Alright more than a little.” she laugh “I mean, it wasn't all the time, of course. Just the first couple days mostly but you can imagine how it was. It seemed like she did it on purpose sometimes.”

“Twistin' the knife even deeper, that's what she's best at. Oh I know!” Conan nodded his head “I'm actually afraid to invite her on the show because I fear how bad she'll roast me. Andy-” he laughed “Andy is the only one who has the most fun during those interviews.”

“I know right? Boy you tell me!” Gal exclaimed “That little shit. I adore her to no end but I really had the hardest of time when she was around. She just had to make comments on everything she could, especially when I was acting. I couldn't stop laughing sometimes, but nobody got mad at her. It was always my fault somehow!”

“I mean she's just so sweet, how could we be mad at her?” Patty added.

“She messed up so many of my scenes!” Gal pretended to be angry but her smile gave it away “But it's true, I couldn't even be mad at her. I don't get to see her that often, because of the work we both do, so I would give anything to have my sister with me like that every other chance I got. Even if I got all the blame for it, there's nothing I wouldn't do for her, you understand.”

“Aw that's- that's incredibly sweet, actually. It's- that's the exact opposite of me and my brother so no I can't really understand to be honest, but alright.” Conan laughed “Well, then, you really got your chance this time, right? You had the opportunity to spend all this time with her. When you were not working of course.”

“I...” Gal trailed off, her smile turning into a mischievous one but the rest of her expression trying to remain innocent, and failing at it because she truly wasn't even trying “Well, I would say yes. And I would agree with you. And I would even ramble about the wonderful two months I spent with my sister... If that had been the case. If I had really seen her for more than a week total, then yeah I would say that.”

“Wha- P-Pardon me?” Conan blinked in surprise “Didn't you j-just say your sister was with you on set for about two months? Or have I been in a parallel universe all this time and I just now came back to our reality?”

“Oh no it's very much our reality but I also did mean what I said. My sister was on set, and I did see her quiet often. But did I spend almost all of my free time with her? Did she spend hers with me? Nope. And that-” again with a far-from-innocent shrug “That is probably the only question I can answer. What she did? Did she have fun?... Who she was with? I wish I knew. What I know is I wasn't the one closest to her on set.”

“So you're telling me, (Y/n) was on set full of people she didn't really know, and you, her sister, barely spent any time with her? I'm gonna assume the rest of you didn't spend more time with her compared to Gal, right?” he asked and got nods from everyone, well, everyone who had their eyes on their screen and therefore looking at Conan, because there was still one that would avoid eye-contact even through the screen “Well, then, who was closest to her on set, if not you?”

“She, well-” Gal paused, smile all too sweet as she added “There could be someone...”

Said someone who couldn't even look up from his mug of coffee, as if it was the most interesting thing in the entire world, and didn't dare say a word for fearing of messing things up; even if his silence spoke volumes as it was. A silence which was... even more intense than before. Even more... real. Probably because it wasn't just in his head, probably because it wasn't just from his part.

Blinking several times, he slowly raised his head to look up from his mug and at the screen of his computer. Only to be met with the eyes of the rest of the group staring at... well, they were staring at the screen of their own computers but for some reason – a reason which he knew all too well – he felt like all eyes were suddenly on him. And they probably were. Because Gal was being nice about it but almost everyone had noticed how much time you had spent with Pedro during those almost two months. You had just met back then so they didn't imply anything back then but now... now they could just as well do so.

“I-” he laughed and he hated how nervous he sounded “Is it time to talk about my character?” he asked almost shyly, nearly praying on the inside that they would say yes and let him change the subject “Well, Max Lord is a guy who-”

“Are you trying to change the subject there, Pedro? One can wonder why.” Conan narrowed his eyes “Come on, don't be shy. Share your opinion here, or maybe your personal experience. Since I am assuming you do have one?”

“Yes, Pedro, why don't you share your opinion with us?” Gal raised an eyebrow, small smirk on her lips “You've been particularly interested in that drink the past couple minutes apparently.”

“I-” Pedro paused, before shaking his head with a laugh “This is going to be a long interview. I can tell.”

#pedro #pedro pascal #pedro x reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro imagine #pedro pascal imagine #pedro fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro one shot #pedro pascal one shot #wonder woman 1984 #maxwell lord #imagine #x reader #fanfiction #one shot #star wars #the mandalorian #din djarin #maxwell lord imagine #maxwell lord x reader #the mandalorian imagine #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin imagine #din djarin x reader #ww84 #interview #may the 4th

[heartbreakgrill]

Love Song; Corbyn Besson

description: yeah just some good ol’ friends to lovers 😋

Your face clenched up as the nurse swabbed your nose. The urge to sneeze came over when she tugged it out, and you quickly pulled up your mask. After a round of watery eyes and the oddest facial expression, the sneeze subsided.

“Thank you,” you told her, a laugh dancing at the edge of you tone.

Her eyes crinkled, showing the smile beneath her mask. “You’re welcome. It’ll just be a minute.”

You stood from the chair, plopping down beside Zach on the couch. He was playing on his phone, but looked up when he noticed your presence.

“Hurts, doesn’t it?” He watched your hand rub at your nose over the mask.

“Uh, yeah,” you chuckled.

Zach went back to his phone and you unlocked your own, crossing a leg over the other. Soon, his name was called and he snapped off his mask. Negative.

Daniel replaced Zach in the seat beside you. You bid him hello and he said, “Hey. How are you today?”

“Was doing fine before I had to have a stick in my nose,” you giggled.

Daniel laughed as well. “Yeah, but whatever we have to do to get to celebrate.”

“New normal,” you nodded.

“Y/N!” The other nurse called out from her clipboard.

You flashed your eyebrows at Daniel and stood from the couch. Slipping your phone into your butt pocket, you walked over to the table.

“You are negative, my dear. We’re having everyone who has already been tested to stay in the kitchen.”

You took the packet of your information from the nurse, thanked them again, and joined Zach, Corbyn, and Christian in the kitchen. You slipped the pink mask in your jean jacket pocket as you took the empty bar stool next to Christian.

“Hey, guys,” you greeted.

Corbyn perked up at the sound of your voice, peaking up from his phone. He was directly across from you, leaning his chin against the ball of his palm. You glanced around at the boys, meeting his eyes over the top of his phone.

“Hey, Y/N, when did you get here?” Christian spoke, drawing your eyes away from Corbyn.

You cleared your throat and folded your hands in your lap. They were clammy now, budding heat throughout your face. His eyes.

“Like ten minutes ago. I said I was here in the group chat,” you reminded Christian.

He shrugged, “I don’t really pay attention.”

“Rip,” you laughed.

Zach and Christian went back to their conversation about the album, the only valid topic of interest for the night ahead.

You glanced back over at Corbyn, who had shifted so he could pretend like he hadn’t blushed at your presence. You sat there for a moment, contemplating saying anything at all. Ultimately you settled on tugging out your phone again.

You leaned on the counter, scrolling through people’s Instagram stories. You swiped past Why Don’t We’s shared page and fell on Corbyn’s. It was a selfie, one he took mere moments before you sat down. You flushed red, eyes gently lifting to take in how he looked right now.

His eyes.

You forced an awkward smile at the awkward eye contact, feeling...awkward.

You looked back down at your phone. It seems everyone of the boy’s friends and family members had posted about the album. Except you. You felt slightly guilty, voicing your concerns to the boys before you. Jonah and Daniel had since joined you guys in the kitchen, talking with Christian and Zach.

“No worries, Y/N. I mean, you’re here,” Jonah shrugged it off.

Zach added, “Yeah, but if you wanna post something go ahead.

“Why don’t we just take a selfie or something?” Daniel suggested, tipping his water bottle towards the phone in your hand.

“Oh, yeah. That’s good. I know it doesn’t matter, but I really want you guys to get number 1 on the charts,” you grinned sheepishly.

Jack appeared beside you, slinging on arm around your shoulder. You noticed Corbyn shift again, gulping and eyeing Jack’s arm.

“Oh, we will, Y/N, we will,” he winked at you.

You laughed loudly at his expression. “I believe in you, Jack Avery.”

He squeezed your shoulder. Everybody moved to stand around you, Corbyn ending up too far away. You tried to see where it was he was standing, just because you felt comfortable being able to see him, seeing you. But you couldn’t.

You were attempting to hold the phone out far enough to get everyone in frame, but your arm wasn’t long enough. Everybody laughed at your struggle. Jonah took the phone from you and angled it at the group. He snapped the photo and everyone dispersed.

Jonah ended up in the seat across from you, Zach next to him where he had been. Daniel, Jack, and Christian decided to start pouring drinks, since it was nearing 11 pm. Corbyn stood there for a minute, contemplating running off the edge of the world.

He settled in the seat beside you which drew your attention from your phone. You had been captioning the Instagram post, struggling to come up with something interesting.

“Hey, Corbyn,” you weakly smiled.

He smiled. “Hey.” His voice made your knees weak.

You flashed the screen at him, pushing down the red blush willing itself to paint your face. “What do you think I should caption it?”

“I don’t know,” he let out a breathy laugh, “uh, maybe a joke. Like, track 4 was written about me.”

You shared a laugh with him, happy nothing felt stuffed of weird energy for even a mere few minutes of conversation.

“That would be really funny, but probably cause some drama. How about, like, ‘dibs on Love Song?’ Because I genuinely feel like that ones gonna be so good.”

Corbyn gulped, “I wrote that one with Daniel.”

“Oh,” you breathed. “Then, I call it.”

Red cheeks all around.

You quickly posted it. Soon, the room was engulfed with music, the 3 singles the boys had released filling the air. There was a single camera on the band, standing around the kitchen island you had once been sitting at.

You stood to the side with Anna and Kay, a glass of champagne in your hand. You had since abandoned your Jean jacket, revealing the flowery, thin strapped corset that left your midrif out in the open. You felt really hot, be it because of the outfit, your sparse interactions with Corbyn, or the alcohol beginning to take hold of your bones.

See, there was something there with Corbyn, something nobody really even knew about. In fact, you didn’t even know if Corbyn himself remembered.

You had been good friends with the entire band since they moved to LA, attending concerts when you weren’t in school and hanging out constantly. Of course, as any pathetic pining story went, you’d been in love with Corbyn since you’d met him, but his heart had always belonged to Christina.

When you discovered they broke up, you felt elated for half a second. Then, he called you in tears.

“I know we’re not expectionally close, but I need somebody. The guys, they just don’t understand.l

Since that moment, you guys had been attached at the hip. Quarantine had been boring at first, terrifying, even. But, then you’d begun to spend every waking moment with Corbyn. You were the one who suggested he dye his hair black, had helped him do it. you’d gone with him when the tattoo shops opened again and helped him pick which one looked best. You’d helped them move into their new house, helped Corbyn decorate his new space. Hell, you’d even suggested a song lyric or two when laying on Corbyn’s bed, listening to him across the room on his guitar.

And then, on your birthday a few months ago, you had gotten exceptionally drunk to drown the sorrows of lusting after your best friend. When the clock struck midnight, Corbyn had already hauled down a taxi from the bar, slung your arm around his neck, cradling your waist as he tried to get you inside.

Out of nowhere, the sky began pouring buckets of rain. You fell against his chest, laughing hysterically at the ironically cliche moment. Corbyn somehow nuzzled his nose into your neck, giggling along with your drunken haze.

You pulled back gently, the closeness emitting a fierce confidence in your gut which enabled you to lean up and kiss him. He kissed you back, but when he remembered how drunk you were, he tugged away.

“I can’t do this,” he urged, but you mistook his respect for consent as rejection.

You mumbled, “But I’m in love with you.”

You didn’t remember for a few days after, what had happened that night. All you knew was you had woken up in Corbyn’s bed, his clothes on you, a headache in your head, and your dress soaking wet over the bathtub.

Then, a few days later, when you were perched on Corbyn’s bed, watching an episode of Big Mouth, he made a joke about how, “in love you are with,” him. Your eyes widened, breath hitched, and a memory pulled itself from your brain. You suddenly stood up, his arm dropping to the comforter since it had been around your shoulders.

You made some excuse about homework, though you both knew you had finished your finals the night prior. Since then, neither of you had really spoken at all.

You clenched the champagne glass between your fingers, turning them white from frustration. You felt a hand on your shoulder, turning towards Anna.

“Everything okay?” She glanced between your eyes, noticing the tears welled up there.

You sniffled and blinked the tears away. One dribbled down your cheek. You quickly wiped it away. Anna’s bottom lip jutted out in a pitiful expression and she pulled you into a hug. You wanted to collapse into her, sobbing your way through the album’s release. But, you squeezed your face shut and grabbed the composure that was running away from you.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” you tugged back and set your glass on the table beside you. You quickly strode to the bathroom, shutting it behind you.

You wiped under your eyes with a wet cloth, salvaging your eye makeup. Your eyes were still red, though, red and pupils blown up in a sad countenance.

There was a knock on the door and you tensed up. Daniel’s voice came from the other side of the door, soft and sweet.

“Y/N? Can I come in?”

You already knew he had seen you crying on Anna, and probably watched you storm away as quietly as one could when they were this upset. You were taking him away from his night and that made you feel just horrible.

“Yeah,” your voice was weak.

Daniel gently opened the door. He didn’t try to hug you or tell it was going to be okay. Instead, he cradled your face in his head, pushing the hair back from your cheeks.

“I know. You don’t have to explain or try to push me away. I just know. All I can give is the fact that we wrote these songs about our lives. These songs are personal.”

You met his eyes, swimming in the undemanding answers he was laying in front of you. “What do you mean?”

He gave a warm smile, “Corbyn got really good at songwriting. Just listen.”

You hugged Daniel quickly before shutting off the light. He slung his arm around your shoulders, guiding you back to the kitchen. Everyone counted down for midnight and soon enough, the new songs were blasting through the kitchen.

You anticipated Love Song through the entirety of Be Myself, barely paying any attention to the song that you knew Daniel wrote exclusively by himself. Soon, Daniel’s voice was dancing through the speakers in an upbeat rhythm, singing the literal love song.

Right after, Corbyn’s voice came again.

“You came out of nowhere like a hurricane.”

You perked up, holding yourself together with your arms. Daniel caught your eyes and nodded firmly. Your eyes flickered across the room and met Corbyn‘s. He’d been watching you for a while, you settled. Though his band mates and friends were dancing around the kitchen, he was solemnly drinking his own champagne. His hair was damp from the bottle Jonah had cracked open at midnight.

“Pulled me in and kissed me in the rain. And I fell for you.”

Your breath caught in your throat. You found his eyes again, your face bright red. An overwhelming grin came over you. Corbyn smiled in response, a dry chuckle shaking his shoulders. He shook his head, finally relieved.

You set down your glass again, tapping Anna on the shoulder. “I’ll be back, k?”

She squeezed your shoulder again, still feeling sympathetic. You looked to Corbyn and nodded towards the back door.

You slipped outside, taking a seat on one of the pool chairs. It was dark outside, only the light from the kitchen washing through the glass sliding doors.

You heard the doors open and close again, looking up from your shoes. You stood up, breathing in deeply. Corbyn stopped in front of you, fingers squeezing each other.

You nervously smiled up at him. “So...” you ached, “so, um, I guess I really did call track 4.”

Corbyn laughed, his hands coming around to your back. He pushed you into his chest, yours going up around his neck.

“Yeah,” his face drew back, “and it was about you.”

You grinned, pursing your lips to try and push it down. But, you were tired of pushing it all down, so you let your lips widen before landing themselves on Corbyn’s.

“You could be the one, girl you’re driving me crazy.”

#corbyn besson #corbyn besson x reader #corbyn besson imagine #Corbyn besson x y/n #Corbyn Besson imagines #why don’t we fluff #why don’t we x reader #why don’t we imagine #why don’t we #why don’t we x y/n

[charlies-gillespie]

private relationship | charlie gillespie (part 1)

PART TWO

paring: fem!reader x charlie gillespie

summary: reader and Charlie have been in a very private relationship. none of their fans know that they’re together, until a slip up at a very public event changes everything for the pair

requested: no

length: long

rating: PG (borderline PG-13 tho for some nsfw jokes)

warnings: a dirty joke or two, a few sexual innuendos throughout, drinking

!! MY GIF - give creds if used !!

authors note: “mon amour” means “my love” in french. it’ll probably be used a lot throughout the imagine

another author’s note: would y’all want a part two, but with smut?

MASTERLIST

“Charlie!” you call. Your voice echoes through your apartment. “Can you come here for a second?”

You need help zipping your dress. Charlie was the first to get to your apartment. He’s been waiting for Owen, Madison, Jeremy, Jadah, and Savannah, and Sacha to get here so your group can go to the release party together. It’s a formal event so you had to wear a dress and heels. It wasn’t your first choice, especially the heels part.

Charlie appears in the doorway and says, “Yea- woah.” You see him in your mirror. His eyes are on you. He looks good in his suit that he’s wearing. His jacket and pants are black, his button-up beneath the jacket is white, but he wears a silver tie to compliment the color of your pale pink dress since he can’t match your dress.

A smile forms on your lips and you ask, “Can you come zip up my dress, please?” Charlie nods and walks into your bedroom. You watch him as he slowly zips up your dress.

The dress is a long, baby pink dress with satin fabric. The skirt is a little poofy from the waist down. The top hugs your chest, pushing your breasts up a little bit so they look a little bigger than they actually are. A sparkly silver belt sits on your waist to add some sparkle to the dress. The sleeves are off your shoulders, and there are hidden pockets in the skirt.

Your boyfriend admires you in the mirror. You’re fully dressed now. Your hair is loosely curled and you have a natural makeup look painted on your face. The light color of the dress compliments your tan skin.

“You look stunning, mon amour,” Charlie sighs. “Absolutely stunning.”

You lean your head back a bit, resting it against Charlie’s shoulder. “You clean up very nicely, Charlie,” you say. “I like that you matched me without actually matching me.”

He laughs and says, “I might’ve had Mads and Jadah help me with that little detail. I wanted to match you but it would draw suspicion to us.”

When you and Charlie started dating almost nine months ago, both of you agreed to keep it on the very low. No social media posts unless hanging out in a group setting, no tagging each other in stories if you were alone together, and only going as far as following each other on social media since you’ve worked on the same show together. The fans don’t even know that you’re friends with each other at this point. Only your closest friends that are going with you to the event tonight know that you and Charlie are together.

Kenny Ortega also knows since he’s technically your boss and you’re both co-workers. He also might have found you making out with Charlie after the two of you got carried away when cuddling on Julie’s bed after a few hours of shooting scenes. You couldn’t lie to him after that.

Tonight is a very public event. Pictures will be taken, journalists will be wanting every juicy detail, and fans have been invited to the event so if there’s even a little be of suspicion, it won’t take very long to go public. It’s the release night party for Julie and the Phantoms season two. Everyone’s been invited to watch the first few episodes of the new season.

You feel Charlie kiss your bare shoulder and you giggle softly. “I’m sure everyone will be getting here soon so we should go wait out in the living room,” you tell your boyfriend.

“I wish I was able to touch you tonight,” he says. “It’s your big Netflix debut, Y/N. I wish I was able to hug you and show you how proud I am of you.”

A little sigh leaves your body and you say, “You can hug me. I’m sure a friendly hug won’t hurt, as long as you hug other people too. As for showing me that you’re proud of me, you can do that later when we’re alone.” You send him a playful wink so he gets what you mean.

Charlie’s jaw drops and he blinks at you. “I-you, um,” your boyfriend stammers. “Okay, yeah. I’m going to show you just how proud I am of you later, baby.”

You turn and face Charlie. “I look forward to it, Charlie,” you tell him, leaning up. He smiles and lightly pecks your lips.

Someone knocks on the door and you click out of the room in your silver heels to answer the door. Owen and Jeremy stand at the door. Jer’s wife, Carolynn, stands beside him.

“Hi, Y/N,” Owen greets you. “You look very pretty. I saw Charlie’s car in the parking garage so where is that loser?”

You laugh and say, “Probably still in my bedroom. Go get him. I think I shocked him or something with my words.” Owen pushes past you. Jeremy follows him, leaving you and Carolynn alone.

Carolynn smiles and says, “I love that color on you, Y/N. It suits you.”

“Thank you,” you say, shooting her a little smile. You’ve grown close to Carolynn since she’s married to Jeremy and you’ve spent a lot of time hanging out with the guys in a group.

You let Carolynn walk in before closing the door behind her. Faintly, you hear Owen say, “Bro, what’s going on with you? Your face is red.”

Charlie responds with, “I am so having sex tonight, dude.”

Both you and Carolynn laugh in the living room as Carolynn asks, “I don’t want to know what that’s about, do I?”

As you sit, you say, “Charlie said he wishes he could touch me tonight at the party so he could show me how proud he was of me. I told him he can show me how proud he is of me later when we’re alone.”

Carolynn says, “Ah, okay. That makes sense. Congratulations, by the way. Making your big Netflix debut tonight. How’s it feel?”

“I’m excited, but very nervous,” you admit. “The first season did so well and won so many awards that I’m scared that I’m going to come in and ruin the whole show and that people won’t like my character.”

She says, “You play the nice daughter of the villain of the show. Everyone will probably love you when they realize that your character wants to help the Phantoms instead of siding with Caleb. Don’t tell Jer and the guys but I think you have one of the best songs of the season so I think the fans will definitely love that.”

You smile as there is another knock on the door. Charlie, Owen, and Jeremy come into the living room as you answer the door.

Savannah stands in the doorway with Mads, Sacha, and Jadah. “I had to pick up the kiddos,” Sav says. “Ooh, Y/N. You look beautiful.”

“Thank you,” you say, smiling. “We’re just waiting for the limo to get here. I think we have a half hour or so before it gets here.”

Kenny is sending a limo to your apartment for the nine of you. When you decided to go as a group so you and Charlie could go together, Kenny pitched in and helped like the wonderful human being he is.

Owen decides to go live with Jeremy on his Instagram account for a few minutes. Carolynn talks with Savannah, Sacha, and Jadah while you find yourself talking with Charlie and Madison.

Mads says, “Kenny is giving us the opportunity to sing on stage together tonight. He told me that we can pick whatever song from either season. He thinks the fans would want to hear Perfect Harmony or Stand Tall since those were massive after season one dropped.”

Charlie nods and says, “Stand Tall would be good since all of us can get in on that number. I can talk to Jeremy and Owen about it when they get off live.”

You smile at the two of them and say, “That’s exciting. The fans will be so excited for this little surprise.”

“We can thank Kenny when it goes really well,” Mads says with a laugh. “He’s always got these great ideas. I don’t know how he comes up with them.”

Both you and Charlie laugh as your phone rings. You answer it, speaking to the limo driver. After a moment, you hang up the phone and announce, “Limo is here. Let’s head on out.”

Everyone gets their things together, Owen gets off Instagram live, and you all head down two floors to pile into the limo.

The drive from your apartment to the Laglyan Complex on North Vine Street is close to forty minutes. It was close to six when you left and it’s almost seven when you arrive to the venue for tonight’s event.

There is a red carpet laid out across the front of the building to the door. There is a lot of press here and a lot of cameras flashing. Cheyenne Jackson and Booboo Stewart are together on the carpet. You spot Kenny with one of the assistant directors.

When the press spots the limo, they begin to mumble to each other as they try to figure out who is in the car. Owen and Jeremy get out first. The press begin to snap pictures of the guys. Madison gets out with Jadah. Carolynn, Sacha, and Savannah. Sacha pairs up with Savannah while Mads, Jadah and Carolynn walk the carpet together until Carolynn finds her way to her husband.

Charlie helps you out of the car. The journalists call Charlie’s name as you close the door behind you. “Go,” you order him. “I’ll be okay. You’re the star of the show.” He smiles and sends you a wink since his back is turned toward the cameras. He walks off and your eyes follow him. Cheyenne walks over.

“Look at you, Y/N,” he says. “You look wonderful.”

You smile and say, “Thank you, Cheyenne. You look nice tonight. I love the suit.” He wears a shirt similar to his Julie and the Phantoms character, Caleb Covington. You play his daughter on the show.

Cheyenne holds his arm out for you and you hook your elbow with his. The cameras snap away at you and Cheyenne since the two of you play a father-daughter duo. Booboo comes and joins you and Cheyenne as the ‘Hollywood Ghost Club Crew’, as Booboo dubbed the three of you. The band is getting pictures together. Savannah, Sacha, and Jadah are getting their pictures taken together. Carolynn is getting her pictures done.

The journalists call out questions to the cast. They ask Madi which season was her favorite, which she replies with, “Y’all really going to make me choose? I can’t do that.”

Owen is asked whether or not we’ll get a Willex kiss in the future, which Owen replies with, “We’ll just have to see, won’t we?”

All the journalists laugh. One of them calls out, “Y/N, what was it like joining a show that already had a pretty large fan base and a successful first season?”

“It was nerve wracking at first,” you admit. “But the cast welcomed me with open arms and I’ve made some very, very close friends.” You shoot a smile to the cameras.

A second journalist calls out to everyone, “Are there any secret romances on set that no one knows about?”

Most of the cast, including you and Charlie, laughs. Owen answers with, “Now it wouldn’t be a secret if we told everyone. But no, there aren’t any secret romances. That I know of at least.”

After a few more pictures and questions, we all head inside. The main room as a bunch of tables set up and a little stage with Madi’s piano, Charlie’s guitars, Jeremy’s bass, and Owen’s drums. There are a few fans that were exclusively invited that are scattered around. They start getting excited when they see you walk in with everyone.

You find your table. You’re sitting with Owen, Charlie, Jeremy, Carolynn, Cheyenne, Booboo, and Savannah. This is the “adult” table, you guess. Mads, Jadah, and Sacha sit with Kenny and a few of the younger cast members at another table.

You’re sitting between Charlie and Owen. Someone needs to sit between them or they’ll be at each other all night. That’s your argument if someone is suspicious of you and Charlie.

Suddenly, you feel someone’s fingers lace with yours under the cloth that’s on the table. You glance over at Charlie and he has a little smile on his face as he talks with Jeremy. You turn and say to Owen softly, “Did Charlie really say that he’s having sex tonight?”

Owen laughs a bit and nods. “He thinks he is anyway,” the blond says. “Is he?”

“If he can behave himself then yes,” you say. Owen chuckles.

You feel Charlie squeeze your hand. You know he heard so you smile.

After small conversation with everyone at the table, you get up and get a drink. You walk to the bar, asking for a martini. While you wait, you’re approached by a guy dressed in a nice button-up shirt and dress pants. His hair is in a neat bun behind his head. “Hi,” he says. “I’m Austin.”

“Y/N,” you say.

“I couldn’t notice you came over here alone,” he says.

The bartender gives you your drink and you say, “I just came over to grab a drink. I was going to go back to my table after I grabbed it.”

Austin pulls out his wallet and hands the bartender a twenty dollar bill. “Let me at least pay for it,” he says.

You smile a bit and say, “Thank you. I must be headed back to the table with my friends now. I appreciate the drink, though.”

He blocks your way and you look up at him. “How about a dance in return for the drink?” Austin suggests.

Feeling more and more uncomfortable, you say, “Maybe later. I need to get back to my friends.”

Austin asks, “What’s the rush? It’s not like you have a boyfriend or anything. I follow your social media accounts and you never post a guy.”

You begin to say, “Actually, I-” before Charlie walks up. You let out a soft sigh of relief.

“Everything okay here?” Charlie asks. “You were taking a while to come get a drink so I thought that I’d come check.”

The stranger says, “All good here. I was just offering Y/N a dance here since I paid for her drink.”

Charlie looks down at you and blinks before you say, “I didn’t ask him to pay for it. He took out a twenty and offered.” Austin looks between you and your secret boyfriend.

Then Charlie says, “If you offered yourself then Y/N isn’t obligated to dance with you just because you paid for her drink.”

Austin says, “Well, I’ll just ask again later.” The man walks away and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

Your boyfriend moves and stands in front of you. He asks, “Are you okay?”

You nod and say, “Yeah, thank you. It was just uncomfortable. I didn’t know how to get out of it.”

Charlie reaches up to cup your face in his hands but he stops before he can touch your face. You look up at him before you lean forward, putting your face in Charlie’s hands. Your eyes flutter closed and you smile.

“Y/N,” Charlie says. “People are looking.”

With a sigh, you say, “I just need you to touch me, Charlie. I want you.”

He runs his thumbs over your cheekbones and you can hear pictures being taken. You put your drink on the bar counter and step closer to Charlie.

Your eyes open and you find Charlie looking down at you. He says, “You know what this means for us, right?”

You nod and say, “Our on-the-low relationship isn’t as on the low now. I don’t mind that anymore because I’m tired of guys coming up and trying to flirt with me while I have a boyfriend.”

Charlie chuckles a bit as he says, “I hope that means I can kiss you now. It’s all I’ve wanted to do tonight.”

“Yeah,” you sigh.

With no hesitation, Charlie leans down and crashes his lips to yours. You press your body against his, grabbing his jacket and holding him close to you. You kiss Charlie back just as hard as he kissed you. Your eyes are closed again but you can see flashes behind your eyes. You pull back from the kiss and stare up at Charlie.

Both of you smile at each other as Charlie says, “You better be ready for what happens after this.”

You push Charlie’s hair away form his face and say, “What happens after this is you get on that stage tonight, you kill it, we go back to your place because it’s closer, and you get all the sex you want.”

Charlie’s face turns a little red and he says, “I will never get used to you saying something sexual to me. I hope you know that.”

“You better, Mr. Gillespie,” you tell him. “I’m not the innocent girl that you met a year and a half ago.”

He laughs and says, “Trust me. I know you’re not the innocent girl that I met last year. You’ve proven that several times at this point.”

With a smile on your face, you take Charlie’s hand in yours before grabbing your drink and walking back to the table with your friends. When you get back to the table, you scoot closer to Charlie and rest your head on his shoulder. Owen looks over and says, “Woah, being affectionate in public. This isn’t the best idea.”

You say, “It’s okay, Owen. Everything is okay.”

Owen looks confused as you look up at Charlie. Charlie looks at his best friend and says, “I kissed her. At the the bar when I went to check on her. Cameras saw so that’s going to be a huge thing in the morning.”

Jeremy says, “Well, congratulations on making your relationship public, I guess.”

The table laughs. Owen looks at you, Charlie, Jeremy, and Carolynn before he says, “I need a relationship. I feel so single right now.”

Charlie says, “You’d actually have to talk to people to get a girlfriend, Owen.”

“Haha,” Owen says, sticking his tongue out at Charlie. You laugh.

***

At nine, Madi, Charlie, Owen, and Jeremy all leave to get ready. They decided on Stand Tall for the number they’re going to perform. It’s almost 9:30 when Kenny gets on the mic on stage. “Hello, everyone,” he says. “Today, Netflix released season two of Julie and the Phantoms. To celebrate, I offered our band the chance to perform a song of their choice. So, let’s all welcome Madison Reyes, Charlie Gillespie, Jeremy Shada, and Owen Patrick Joyner to the stage for their performance of whatever song they chose.”

The crowd cheers as everyone walks onto the stage, taking their place. You and Carolynn get a front row seat while you both watch your guys perform. You notice Charlie took off his jacket and his tie. He also cut off the sleeves, but that doesn’t surprise you. The top few buttons of his white button-up are unbuttoned, showing off his chest a bit.

Mads begins to play the first few keys to the song.

Don't blink No, I don't want to miss it One thing, and it’s back to the beginning Cause everything is rushing in fast Keep going on, never look back

You smile and watch Madi sing. She’s insanely talented and you’re so glad that the world was able to hear her voice.

The guys nod their heads to the beat while they wait for their signal to begin playing. Once they get their cues, they begin to play one by one.

Right now, I'm loving every minute Hands down, can't let myself forgеt it, no Cause everything is rushing in fast Keep holding on, nеver look back

Charlie plays like he’s flickering on and off stage like he does on the show. You smile and admire your boyfriend. You know how talented he is, especially those fingers of his, but he never ceases to amaze you how talented he is.

And it’s one, two, three, four times That I'll try for one more night Light a fire in my eyes I'm going out of my mind

You smile wide when Charlie sings his line at the end of the pre-chorus. Then he begins to sing his part of the song and you dance with Carolynn. The crowd sings and dances behind you two.

The four of them finish the song and smile. The crowd cheers and you smile, looking at Charlie. He has the biggest smile on his face, which is covered in a layer of sweat. His hair is damp with sweat too. Charlie bows with his closest friends before putting his guitar on the stand. He jumps off the stage and comes over to you.

“I told you that you’d kill it,” you tell him when he gets to you.

Charlie laughs and says, “Oh, hush.” He pulls you into a soft kiss. You smile and kiss him back, making your relationship with him completely public. The people around you cheer a bit as Charlie pulls away.

You look up at him and say, “You’re going to have so much fun being able to hugs me and kiss me in public now, aren’t you?”

He smiles and stares down at you. Charlie says, “Maybe I’ll be having too much fun now.”

As you brush some of the hair away from Charlie’s eyes, you say, “Please try to keep the PDA to a minimum, Charlie. You do have a lot of younger fans. Save most of it for when we’re alone.”

“Like how we will be tonight?” Charlie asks, eyes hopeful.

You laugh and say, “Just like how we will be tonight.” Then an idea pops into your idea. “This dress is getting really hot. I might need to take it off soon.”

Charlie gets what you’re trying to say so he replies with, “Let’s go.”

He takes your hand and hops over the barricade. You smile as he leads you through the crowd of people. Charlie calls you an Uber so you can both go back to his place tonight.

#charlie gillespie imagine #charlie gillespie imagines #charlie gillespie x oc #charlie gillespie x reader #charlie gillespie x y/n #julie and the phantoms imagines #jatp imagines #jatp imagine #fluff imagines #imagines #imagine #fluff