#this literally consumed my mind for an hour as i messed around with it

[padfootdaredmetoo]

Hi! Omg I just found your page yesterday and I'm OBSESSED!!! and I was hoping I could request a Thomas shelby/reader where the reader is a Harry Potter witch who has left the magical world for the muggle world, and ended up in Birmingham. Since she has no real muggle education or connections she's struggling and ends up bartending at the Garrison instead of Grace in season 1.

I just love the idea of a (literally) magical girl charming all the peaky boys and being an equal to Tommy, if you want maybe include The Big Reveal about her magic?

Love your writing!

Dear Anon,

This was such a fun request! The timeline is a total mess as the Marauders are my fav crew. Hopefully, it doesn't bother you. Thank you for waiting.

Enjoy XOXO

Warnings: romance - no explicit content, however Peaky Blinders does contain themes only acceptable for adults. Please consume content responsibly.

_____

The pain was consuming as you looked at Remus on the train platform. Years of running into his and your friend's arms every September, and now you are saying goodbye. 

Harry was ripped away from the two of you to live where your love couldn't reach him. 

The funeral ended, and Sirius was hauled off. It was glaringly clear that you couldn't find a place in the wizarding world after the war had ended. You’d suffered great losses and all that was left was you and Remus. 

He’d secured a position helping Dumbledore and you had faith he would be alright. You had job options pouring in from the ministry, even teaching positions from Hogwarts. Every time you think of either, your stomach twists. 

Last time you were at either of those places you were there with them. Going back made you feel like it would somehow become real. Any time you interacted with this world the more the pain would become real. It was agonizing. Hogwarts was your home. 

This leads to you drinking heavily to manage the remaining hours on shift at the Three Broomsticks. Every time the bell would ring on the door you felt like you would see James or Sirius. Marlene or Lily. Someone. 

You stumbled home flopping onto your bed, the thought of calling Remus crossed your hazy mind. Knowing he would worry enough to come over prevented you. He had enough going on this close to the full moon. Stumbling to grab a glass of water you sat next to the toilet knowing what was going to happen. It was just a matter of time. 

Many memories flooded your mind of Sirius holding your hair back, and James laughing at you for being a lightweight. Nights piled onto the kitchen floor, falling asleep anywhere only to wake up on some soft surface with a friend close by. 

Now your apartment is empty. Everything stayed in boxes so it couldn't creep up on you. You grabbed the newspaper off the top of the shelf. It was a muggle one and you were grateful for the stationary photos and straight lines of print. Somewhere along the way, you saw an ad for a muggle bartender. It wasn't too far away, and most importantly you’d never been to Birmingham. No reason for it to hurt. 

You smiled content with your logic. 

You thought about it and decided it was meant to be, who put that newspaper in your bathroom? You had no idea but it seemed like an excellent plan 

One call later you had an interview secured. You picked a nice deep plum-colored dress from a muggle shop in the city. 

Job and new apartment confirmed, now you were saying goodbye. 

___________

You rested your damp cheek on the scratchy tweed jacket he was wearing. 

“After my next project is done I’ll pop by for a visit, yeah?” He mumbled in a heavy voice. Whether you stayed or not there was no way for the two of you to be together. He’d be traveling ten months out of the year. 

“Yeah.” You confirmed hating how your voice wobbled. Pulling out of his comforting embrace you felt the cold autumn wind wrap around your body, taking his warmth far away. 

“Take care of yourself, Moony.” you brushed the tears away. 

“Same goes for you.” He kissed the top of your forehead before the bell rang. You stepped onto the train and sunk into your seat. Watched him wave until the fog obscured his slender frame. You pulled out an indented stone from your pocket. You, Lily, and the boys all had matching ones. When you rubbed it they all started to glow. As far as you knew they were buried with them. You silently prayed that wherever they were they could feel your love. You couldn’t even think of Sirius. 

The train ride didn't take long. Honestly, you probably could have apparated, but for some reason, all the best things in your life had started with train rides, why stop the tradition now?

You doubted this would be one of those good times in your life, but James would want you to be strong, Lily would have wanted you to take care of yourself. They wouldn't want to see you deteriorating, drowning in memories. 

_____________________

Your first shift wasn’t too hard. You were from a muggle family and tended to do most of these types of things by hand anyway. Pouring drinks, smiling at people that didn't know you, engulfed in the warmth of the pub, glowing lights keeping the dark fog outside at bay. You weren't happy, but you felt at peace with things.

These people had just had their own war, you could feel them trying to move on just like you were. One of the older men at the pub caught that look in your eye, giving you a hearty pat on the shoulder. 

“You’ll find your way, love.” He started with glossy eyes. You only nodded, giving him a sad smile, but it was enough. The warmth was interrupted by a group of men arriving. The mood shifted and people quieted down. 

They wore nice clothes, and distinct hats, clearly some type of gang. Memories of purebloods and death eaters caused the muscles in your shoulder to tense up as they approached. 

“Bottle in the snug '' A man called out before moving into the enclosed booth. You assumed he meant whiskey and opened the little passage from behind the bar. Happy you didn't have to go directly into the room. 

You watched as all sorts of strange company moved in and out of the snug. Wondering who those men were, and why they seemed to command the mood of the small pub. 

Eventually, it was closing time. One shift accomplished, no drinks and no tears. 

The place appeared empty except for the man still sitting in the enclosed booth. 

“Sir, we are closing. I’ll have to ask you to leave” You said in a sweet voice, trying to figure out what you found so peculiar about the man. His bright blue eyes looked up from the stack of papers he said sprawled out on the table. 

“It’s alright I’ll lock up.” He said staring at you, your face flushed in confusion. “Thomas Shelby” He stuck his hand out standing up. You introduced yourself by shaking his hand. 

“I own the place.” He clarified. 

“I apologize I only met Harry the other day -” 

“It’s alright. Stay for a drink?” There was a twinkle in his eyes that pulled you in. Looking at the bottle of whiskey your stomach twisted painfully. 

“I - I don’t really drink right now” 

“With child?” He sat down motioning for you to take a seat regardless. 

“No, it just doesn't look good on me at the moment.” You tried to give a polite smile, but it fell short. He hummed looking you over. 

“From Scotland?” 

You nodded in response, wanting to avoid thinking about home.  

“Why this pub?” 

“It was hiring.” You answered easily. 

“This part of Birmingham isn't the best, love.” He gave you a look of warning. “Best to keep to yourself, and come directly to me if you're in trouble.” 

His words were icy, but you’d experienced just about every type of horror the world had to offer. 

“Trust me sir, you don't have to worry about me.” 

“Is that so?” He wanted more information from you, his head cocked to the side. You only nodded. 

“Well, I’ll walk you home nonetheless.” You paused not sure if you wanted to give away where you lived. “You're just up the street, yeah?” 

“That would be nice thank you.” You had your wand on you, so there wasn't a real threat to the situation. 

“In the city on your own then?” He asked as you stepped out into the crisp air. 

“Yes, a fresh start was called for.” 

“Care to elaborate?” 

“Because you want to know or because it's a requirement you vet me?” 

“Sounds like this isn't your first time?” He said sharply, a visible distrust washing over his features. 

“Maybe all cities have a Thomas Shelby.” You sighed in defeat. “I lost my father in the war, my mother passed away soon after, I was involved in things I won’t talk about. Lost my closest friends. I won’t stay there, but if the position is no longer open I can move on to the next city.” You said sharply, you didn't have time for games, and judging by how tired he looked in the street light neither did he. 

He stopped, turning to face you. 

“I’m sorry.” He had the most consuming flicker of empathy in his eyes. 

“I’m sure you got your fair share. I'm sorry as well.” You murmured slightly breathless. His eyes were pricing, and suddenly you were desperate to know more about this strange man. 

“Now what exactly do you do?” You needed to know before your thoughts got carried away. 

“The same thing the rest of the Thomas Shelbys do.” He placed a hand on your low back as you resumed your walk home. “Peaky Blinders, that’s my organization. The pub is ours as well as that Betting shop over there.” 

“What are you up against?” you asked wanting to know what blood dirtied his hands regularly. 

“People that wish they were Thomas Shelbys” 

“So you keep things gang-related then?” 

“As opposed to?” 

“Innocent folks, daughters going missing - that sort of thing” You shrugged. 

“No.” He responded seriously. You nodded considering things.

“This is me” You nodded to the building. 

“You need anything you can come to me.” He said darkly, suddenly you wondered what he meant by anything, a flush covered your cheeks.

“I’ll be sure to seek you out.” You said as calmly as possible.

“I look forward to walking you home again tomorrow.” He gave you a nod and he started walking down the steps. Opening and closing the door to the stairwell you could see through the window that he’d stayed to make sure you were in the door before leaving. 

You climbed the stairs to your flat, wondering if you’d just got mixed up in another bout of nonsense. 

_____________________________________

He was there at the end of every shift to walk you home. Which soon escalated to showing up at the beginning of your shift with your favorite pastries and tea. 

People treated you a little nicer, not from a place of warmth but moreover a place of fearful respect.

Tommy belonged to a big family, you’d met Arthur, John, and Polly so far, but you had heard of his sister Ada and little brother Finn. 

These days were long and you were often very tired. Too tired to remember or think about things making this the perfect escape. Tommy was around you frequently flirting in his own way. Other men would be warned with a single look, and you figured that meant he was interested. Perhaps he was waiting on you to make a move?

Slowly you began to trust him, enough to let him court you properly when he asked. You and he shared the same type of inner void. It was nicer to be with someone that understood it, and wasn't always trying to change it. 

You looked at him sitting in the firelight. His mind lost in the flames, there was a blanket of snow covering the ground and Christmas was inching closer. He quickly caught you staring, responding by pressing a kiss to your lips. Suddenly the yard fell away as his warm hands clasped your cheeks. 

He deepened the kiss leaving you amazed at how it warmed your body from the cold wind. Charlie and Curly suddenly found something very fascinating in the barn that needed attending to. 

The moon was bright in the sky, lighting up the whole city by reflecting on the snow. You felt the familiar feeling of need seep out of your bones. His grip on you was so inviting, your body relaxed further against him.

He pulled away, pressing a kiss to your forehead. This was where you both always left things and guilt started to bubble up in your stomach. You wanted to take things further, but you always got in your own way. 

You tried to date at school, but after your last attempt spread rumors about you throughout the school - you’d stopped. You thought back to the boys terrorizing anyone involved. It was never worth the risk, then you were swept up in a war with no time for anything. 

Tommy on the other hand struck you as the type of guy who had regularly indulged in acts of passion. You’d wanted to get it off your chest for a long time now. The fear of him getting tired or bored constantly weighing on you. 

Remus was coming and you thought it better to wait for his opinion and see what he thought of Thomas. You rested your head against his shoulder taking a deep breath. 

________________________________

You had talked to Polly about this day. All week you’d been dreading it, a dark cloud of reality hanging over your head. You were grateful she had told you to stay in, to look after yourself for the day. She’d even sent you home with some dinner and muffins, her kindness lifting your spirits slightly. 

It was Lily’s birthday. 

She’d slept next to you for seven years. She was a friend from the start despite you both drifting off slightly to rival friend groups. But when Severus had hurt her you’d been the one to break his nose the old fashion way. James pulled you off of him, it was his concern for your well-being and safety that made her see him in a different way. You pulled the covers over your face and prayed that these memories would leave you to rest for a while longer.  

A knock sounded at the door close to noon. You assumed Tommy had come to check on you. The thought of his presence was enough to pull you out of your bed. 

Grabbing your house coat you opened the door. Remus’s towering figure stood over you and you let out a shout of excitement before pulling him into a tight embrace. He smelt like cinnamon and cardamom. 

You eventually let him go and took in the worn-out features of his face. Suddenly the urge to fix him took over as you got him to sit down in the kitchen.  

“Tea and breakfast.” You stated as you put the kettle on by hand before realizing you didn't have to do things the muggle way. Suddenly things were flying around the kitchen as you got the eggs on the stove. 

“Go on, tell me everything.” You encouraged him, he looked so tired it broke your heart. You made a mental note to pick him up some clothes and stitch his coat before he left.

“Not much I can say really.” He lit a cigarette and leaned into the seat. “Want to hear about all this though.” he waved his hand gesturing to your small flat. 

“Well, I like the pub. It’s mostly easy work.” You nodded not sure how to bring up Tommy. 

“Any friends?” 

“Yeah, well, about that -” You could already tell that your face had given you away. He let out a loud laugh at your embarrassment. 

“So my boss is kind of this crime lord - gangster type. I may have fallen in with his family…. Well - and perhaps fallen for him.” You poured him a mug of hot tea. 

“A gangster? Thought you ran away for a simple life?” 

“It's all guns and money - not really a threat to me. But bloody hell Remus I have no idea what I’m doing.”  You ran your hands through your hair in frustration.

“What’s he like then?” He put his cigarette out.

“He’s - very handsome. Kind to me, very attentive. He’s - well, he was in their war so he’s a bit like us now, you know. He’s very sad.” you spoke in a hectic manner fluttering about the kitchen trying to find things. 

“But you're also very sad.” He stated simply. 

“Right! So much in common.” You said sarcastically. There was another knock at the door.

“It’s open!’ you called out preoccupied with lighting a cigarette. Remus gestured to the kitchen with his hands, eyes wide. 

“Fuck” you hissed suddenly stopping all magic. Needing to tend to the eggs you dropped a cigarette into the sink diving to catch the spatula. 

“Tommy!” You said suddenly, shocked to see him. He took in the situation and gave off a colder-than-usual aura. 

“This is my best friend Remus!” You watched as they introduced each other and shook hands. 

“Lily’s -” You paused and swallowed hard. “Lily’s birthday would have been today.” You told him, before whipping around to start frantically making breakfast. 

“Are you hungry, love?” 

“No,  I’m alright.” He said watching you. Suddenly you realized you were still in your nightgown and housecoat. Remus didn't care, many summers spent skinny dipping, he’d seen more of you than most - but Tommy. 

That’s got to be where all the tension was coming from. You couldn't leave the stove on to go change so you just gave him a cup of tea. 

You and Remus started telling stories about school, ones that didn't immediately make you upset. You watched him relax as he realized he was learning more about you with Remus there. 

They both talked for a while as you got dressed, you were happy to see that everything seemed to be cleared up. Tommy gave you a kiss at the door before leaving to handle some things. 

Leaving you and Remus to gossip. 

“You're picking a rough path,” Remus said, letting out a deep sigh.

“Don’t think I ever thought I would go any other way. You and I were always caught up in trouble. It just finds us everywhere we go.” 

“Well, he’s definitely got stuff rattling around in his head. But he cares for you.” 

“You think so?” You asked. 

“Yeah.” 

“What if I mess it up?” 

“Remus? - I want to um… take things - all the way?” Your face pinched up in discomfort at your choice of words. “But I uh never - ya know” you shrugged and he laughed again.

“Just take it slow, do what feels right,” Remus said, trying to contain his obvious amusement. 

“Then he better be kind to you or I’ll kill him.” He said the same way James would have. 

“Mooney!” 

He only shrugged. 

__________________________________________

Tommy seemed slightly put off by Remus’s visit. Something that was very apparent to you. 

“Tommy?” You entered his office at the betting shop later that evening. He hummed looking up from his papers. “Is everything alright?” 

“Yes” He answered tightly. 

“Is it about Remus?” You pushed and he gave you a flat expression that answered your question. 

“Look, if you’d rather go home. I wouldn't hold it against you.” He said bluntly, his eyes colder than ever.

“I-” 

“Don’t lie” His words bit into you.

“I don’t tell lies.” You said sharply getting up and slamming his office door. You knew there was a temper in him that scared you. Sure you could handle yourself physically as long as you had your wand. But he was too close to you now. He didn’t need to use force to hurt you, he could just open his mouth. 

The fact that you could hear Lily’s laughter floating all around you the whole day did not help. 

The night passed and you laid in bed wishing Remus had spent the night like you offered. Memories crept in and the thought of facing Tommy at work the next morning made you grab the bottle of whiskey from above the fridge. 

You’d just opened the bottle when there was another knock at the door. You opened the door in your slip uncaring of who was on the other side. You would love to fight someone right about now. 

Tommy was there initially looking at your face then you watched his expression shift as he took in your appearance. You moved away from the door going back to the whiskey in the kitchen. 

He came towards you grabbing onto your chin.

“You better not even start!” You snapped at him. “I pay the rent on this place! If men want to show up unannounced at strange hours they can deal with this!” You gestured to your body. “If people don’t like it, then don't come over! How bout that” Part of you wanted him to react. Slap you down so you could leave. Hide away from whatever was starting between the two of you before it took its pound of flesh. 

“What do you want from this eh?” His eyes held nothing but passion and caution was getting pushed to the back of your mind. “You don’t have me over in your apartment. I don't see you like this, but he does? What am I to think?” 

“He’s my best friend, we - we know each other very well” He let out a cold laugh but you continued. “He’s the only family I have left. He’s it.” Your eyes narrowed as you got even angrier pushing his hand away. “You haven't seen me like this because - I - I've never - dated or been - I've never had sex.” You took a breath. “I don't know what I’m doing. I wanted his advice. Make sure he likes you, I don't have anyone else to run these things by - I don't have anyone left -'' Soon the items in the room were starting to float, your mind was always on the edge now trying to process everything that even something this small would push you over the edge.

You closed your eyes and tried to take a deep breath. Everything in the apartment settled eventually and you wondered if you kept your eyes closed long enough you wouldn't have to watch him run away. He pressed himself against you crushing you in his arms. His cheek pressed to the top of your head. He pulled you closer when you knew every bone in his body was telling him to run. 

“I’m a witch.” You blurted out, knowing it would get you in trouble, however, according to Remus they were still cleaning up such a mess that it was not uncommon for these types of things to go unnoticed. 

“What kind?” He whispered. 

“Erm - not an evil one?” You pulled away to look up at him more confused than ever. Eventually, you both ended up at the dinner table. You poured him a hearty glass of whiskey and was impressed that more than anything he just seemed curious. 

You told him about who you were honest and he took it in a glass of whiskey at a time.

“Things got pretty bad for you lot, for a while anyway?” 

You nodded wondering how he would know about any of it. 

“Polly’s cousins were like you. Past few years she had to stop writing because it wasn't safe. Mentioned stuff about a war and whatnot.” 

“Her cousins? How much do you know?” You asked. 

“Not as much as what you told me, but that side of the family has lots of this type of stuff.” He shrugged, lighting another cigarette. 

“So you don't - mind?” 

“No” he almost smiled. “If anything it means we don't have to tone down the usual family stuff.” 

You’d often wondered about Polly, her way of seeing things that others didn’t. 

“Well, whatever it is I doubt it will put me off.” You said honestly. “S’long as you don't take things too far with business.” 

He scoffed “I’m sure you’ll find a way to keep me in line.” 

You both stared at each other for a long moment. 

“I like Remus, Just not when you're practically naked.” He said changing the subject. He stood up and moved to your side holding his hand out. 

“I’m far from naked.” You accepted his hand and stood. 

“I disagree.” His gaze was heavy and it made you feel desperate. His hand found your low back and you let him guide you towards your bedroom. The thought of sleep sounded very appealing after everything that had gone on that day but his presence was electric. 

He lead you to the bed and pulled your quilt over you, before you could ask he slipped off his shoes and dressed down to his undershirt. You made space for him and he laid next to you. Your body was tight with anticipation, unsure of what was going on. Thinking back to what your friends had said over the years that was generally not a good thing. You rolled onto your side, ready to ask him what this was all about, but before you could ask he pulled you against his chest. 

“I’m sorry about your friend.” He whispered. 

“I told you a lot today, but I’ll tell you what happened - wh-” Your chest got tight. 

“When your ready love.” He said easily. 

“Thank you.” 

He held you in his arms and you relaxed into a safety you had never known before. 

“Did you want to um -” You took a breath and tried to explain what you really wanted to ask. “Stay the night?” 

“You’ll never feel pressure from me, love.” He kissed the top of your head. “Just rest.” 

____________________________________________________

Polly’s family was very magical and you knew some of her relatives. Now that the war was over you were able to reconnect them. 

Tommy loved it when people were around forcing you to be normal. A maid in the kitchen meant you had to struggle to reach the top shelf, meaning he would have to get it for you. Your huff of irritation was enough to bring a smile to his lips. 

He married you right away, hating the thought of things being uncertain. He knew that his place was next to you so there was no point wasting time. 

One night Remus got a bit of evidence that Peter may have been at fault, this lead to the both of you taking over the study for weeks putting everything together. You both managed to clear his name. 

Sirius being a mess but deciding to take it out on Tommy because he didn't think he was good enough for you. 

You were thoroughly bothered by the fact that you couldn't see Harry. After enough pestering, you managed to take custody of him proving you raised him in a muggle community. Something that wasn't hard with your current setup. You were initially worried that Tommy would reject the idea of raising a child that wasn't his own. You felt sick the night you broke down and asked him, only to be surprised by his own difficult feelings of knowing a child was being mistreated. Out of respect for you and your friends, he had no problem accepting the boy into the family.

Lol just thinking about Harry going up against all this stuff with background Shelby commentary & events.

#tommy shelby #thomas shelby #tommy shelby imagine #thomas shelby imagine #tommy shelby x reader #shelby family #Peaky blinders #peaky blinders imagine #Thomas Shelby x reader #Harry Potter #Harry Potter cross over #Marauders era #Peaky blinders x harry potter

[polyklok]

smut D, I, K, M, O, P, U & X for my favorite swede skwisgaar plzz<3333

D- Dirty Secret

Skwisgaar wants you to take control so badly. He knows how amazing he is at sex and the reputation he has to uphold in the bedroom, so he’s sort of ashamed of how desperately he wants to be tied up and used as his brain turns to mush with pleasure. He’s sick of being the expert in the situation, he sometimes just doesn’t want to think while he fucks.

He might eventually admit this to you, in a half-joking-but-not-really way while he desperately blushes of embarrassment. You should totally give in to him, he’s gonna be so pretty while he’s fucked out of his mind and willing to do anything to make you keep going.

I- Intimacy

He’s wonderful at making you feel special and loved during the deed. He touches all the right places, says all the right things, makes you feel good in all the right ways. And that’s without even trying! To him, your body is the same as his guitar; he has all the quirks on it’s form memorized and knows how to use them perfectly.

If he does put in the effort, he’s also very good at creating the perfect environment to make you lose yourself during sex. The smells, music, and textures he picks out are all hypnotic.

K- Kink

Anything you’re into, Skwisgaar is into. He’s willing to try out and indulge in anything you want just to make sure you get your pleasure; he already knows he’s gonna enjoy it either way. That being said, he does have some favorites;

Teasing/orgasm control, bondage, sensation play, exhibitionism, humiliation, GMilfs, begging, overstimulation, body worship, crying, and the list goes on.

M- Motivation

Literally anything and everything. This man gets so bricked up from the dumbest things. It’s very common that he misinterprets regular things you do as teasing or flirtation. “No, Skwisgaar, I was not trying to bite that apple in a seductive way!”

It’s hard to determine what is “motivation” to him because he’s never not down to mess around with you. You really don’t have to try and convince him, it’ll be the other way around more often than not.

That being said…he does sort of have a thing for playing hard to get. For the majority of his life, he’s had access to all the women he can dream of. So if you brush him off, act oblivious, or straight up deny him, it’ll spark a little flame of determination. He’s gonna be more flirtatious and sensual with you. The longer you hold back, the better he’ll make it feel when you finally give in.

O- Oral

Hoo, boy you’re gonna need to prepare yourself. He could make you come all over his mouth within minutes, shaking and moaning with one of the most intense orgasms you’ve ever had in your life. OR, and more likely, he’s gonna gently tease the hell out of you until you’re desperately begging him for release, slowly building the pressure until your insides fucking explode. It’s a win-win either way.

He actually doesn’t like receiving all that much. He’ll accept a blowjob from you, and will always pay you back, he’s definitely a fan of 69 but he won’t ask for one. If he was younger, definitely, but he thinks he’s a bit checked-out oral wise. Although, his favorite scenario to get oral in is the previously mentioned ‘fucked out of his mind’ version of Skwisgaar, where you edge the hell out of him. He definitely likes that.

P- Pace

Slow, sensual, and desperate. He’s definitely able to be quick and rough if you so please, be he prefers multi-hour sessions where both of you are complete enraptured in each other. This is the difference between his ‘fucking’ and his ‘love-making’; he used to have multiple girls a day, in and out the door every time he a few hours to spare. Now, his entire mind is consumed by the thought of you and clouded by how you feel and he wants to make it last.

U- Unfair

I’m gonna copy and paste this one from another ask because I think I’ve gotten my point across at things point;

Oh My God, he is such a little shit to you. He’s very good at determining at when you’re getting close to finishing and then pulling away at the very last second. He’s gonna grope at you and mutter absolute filth in your ear in public before walking away with the smuggest grin. He’ll act oblivious when you’re incredibly desperate and practically begging the pants off of him. But he’ll never leave you hanging too long; after all, he’s horny as well. It’s gonna be annoying for a while but so worth it when he finally gives into you.

Here’s a secret; Skwisgaar loves being teased. He gets so weak for it. He’ll be incredibly obnoxious, whining and pleading, but he’s really into it. Please hold him back, please make him work for an orgasm, please have him beg in order to touch you. He craves that feeling so badly.

X- X-ray

7 inches fully erect, but considerably thin with a large head. He’s uncircumcised. It sticks out straight again when he’s hard, no curves. A little bit veiny and like…no hairs. He’s very clean shaven.

Also copy n pasted I’ve been writing so much man. It’s a love/hate thing.

#dethklok #metalocalypse #polyklok is real #dethklok headcanon #metalocaypse headcanon #skwisgaar skwigelf #request filled #metalocalypse x reader #metalocalypse skwisgaar

[mishafletcher]

hi, and welcome to the 'frequently asked questions about cooking is terrible' post! some of these are scattered in other places around my blog, but i figured i'd collect them for ease of reading. if you want to read the promo post about the book, you can go here.

as always, purchase links are collected here, or you can go directly to the amazon listing.

is cooking actually terrible/how can you say you hate cooking/cooking is an art form and you're disrespecting it see, the thing here is that i'm actually a good cook! i've cooked for a living before, i'll happily pull together a meal for fifty with twenty-four hour notice, and i love a cooking project. i love cooking for community. what i fucking hate, though, is having to somehow produce food for myself, and then consume it, multiple times a day, every day, for apparently the entire rest of my life.

some people love cooking, and i genuinely admire you. sometimes i don't mind it or even enjoy it, and on those nights, i don't need this book. sometimes i'm too tired or in too much pain or too busy playing a video game or too depressed, though, and the idea of spending thirty minutes making food i don't care about makes me want to walk into the sea, and on those days, yeah, cooking is terrible.

is this book vegetarian friendly? yes! there are a handful of recipes where the point of it is meat, but probably 90% of the book is either vegetarian or has options to make it vegetarian. i was a vegetarian for about a decade, and still tend not to cook a ton of meat because the cost of messing it up is so high. there are a number of recipes that call for things like 'chunks of chicken or tofu', but tofu is cheap and delicious, so i'm just as likely to use that as i am chicken.

is this book vegan friendly? maybe. if you're comfortable with things like vegan cheese and plant-based yogurt, the answer is probably yes. the biggest issue for vegans will be dairy, but there are a lot of good vegan dairy replacements out there.

is this book friendly for [basically any other dietary restrictions]? yes again! everything is designed to be pretty flexible. if you're comfortable with the basics how to substitute things for your specific needs, you should be fine with this. (by 'basics of how to substitute', i mean 'tamari instead of soy sauce' or 'gluten-free noodles' or 'sunflower seed butter instead of peanut butter' level of substitutions.) i have severe food allergies, so am very much on board the substitutions train.

is this book useful for people with chronic pain and/or mental health issues? you are very literally the target audience, because i, too, am a disabled person with chronic pain and adhd and other assorted mental health issues. when i started writing this book, it wasn't a book—it was a text file that i could read over when my brain wasn't working well enough to provide me with instructions for complex tasks such as 'make sandwich'.

is this useful for people living in [almost literally anywhere in the world]? unless you live in a place where you can't buy staple foods like rice, beans, and vegetables, it's probably useful. i've personally bought everything mentioned in the cookbook at stores in the us and australia, and have also checked availability at tesco and rewe. there are sometimes minor differences in what things are called, and occasionally one thing or the other is entirely unavailable, but probably 99% of ingredients can be easily purchased in most supermarkets.

do i need to have fancy appliances for this to be useful? hard no. there is zero slow cooker, instant pot, stand mixer, or even rice cooker content in this.

i assume that you have a knife, a bowl, and a source of heat. some things are easier (or nicer) if you also have a $20 immersion blender (mine's from kmart), but that's as fancy as we're getting. i wanted to keep the barrier to food as low as possible.

is it easy to modify recipes in this? yes, and a bunch of recipes are either lists of suggestions (sandwiches! rice toppings!) or have variations listed.

what kind of recipes are in this book? there's a range of them.

stuff that needs no cooking at all—sandwiches, dips, smoothies, salads, etc.

bowls of stuff: pasta, rice, soups you can make in ten to fifteen minutes, oats, etc. using ready-cooked rice or pasta is 100% fine by me, so this focuses pretty heavily on quick and easy toppings.

stuff you cook while you watch netflix, like 'throw this into the oven and then ignore it for an hour'. more importantly, lists of ideas for how to use the things you cooked.

baking and desserts, none of which require more than about five minutes of hands-on work.

if this list is insufficiently convincing, i've also put up a couple example recipes here.

which storefront/format is best? honestly and truly, on my end, it doesn't matter that much—after various fees and things come out, it's within about 50c of each other for ebooks, and maybe a dollar for physical books. amazon currently nets me slightly more than other retailers, but that's changed in the past and will likely change again.

on your end, amazon is probably the cheapest way to get a print copy (and—in the interest of full disclosure—is slightly more money for me, as well). amazon's printing costs are significantly less than anyone else's are, so the book is cheaper there.

why are there so many price points? this is partly because publishing at this point is several business models in a trenchcoat, and partly because retailers can set their own prices and discounts. if you see very low prices, especially at big vendors like amazon, they've decided it's worth it to sell the book at a loss. i have no idea why, but i get the same royalties from it.

if you see very high price points—like $40+ for the paperback version—it's because the vendor is using a traditional-publishing business model and pricing accordingly. please do not buy this book for forty dollars. anywhere in north america and europe, the paperback should be between 10 and 20 of the local currency (dollar, pound, or euro); australians might see it as high as $22 because it costs more to have things printed here.

i want to reiterate: please do not buy this book for many tens of dollars. one, maybe two tens, fine. but forty is as many as four tens, and that's terrible.

is there a print version of this book? i used to get this a lot, and then there was an amazon-only paperback version and i got it less, and now there's a paperback version that you should be able to buy anywhere you buy books.

worth noting is that the available print versions are not spiral bound. if you would like a spiral bound copy and you feel strongly enough about this that you'd like to have it printed and bound yourself, the digital versions (most usefully the pdf from gumroad) have an explicit 'please feel free to print or have this printed' release.

and again—because i get called out for this not infrequently—purchase links are collected here, or you can go directly to the amazon listing.

#cooking is terrible

[victorian-nymph]

I mentioned a while ago reading De’s biography at my university’s library but I have not mentioned the especially silly tale of what happened for me to do that.

Anyway so to set our scene it's earlier this year and I’m fully hyperfixating on star trek, in addition, my infatuation with Deforest Kelley means I consuming almost every piece of his filmography I can get my grubby little hands on. I see various Tumblr posts referencing parts of From sawdust to stardust, most of which are straight-up unhinged and I am intent on getting my hands on this book. However, I have no income of my own (I am a full time student I should clarify and my parents do not mind this), I have a monthly allowance but the book costs about a quarter of that allowance which would leave a noticeable dent and likely be an issue later on. I could ask my parents to buy it for me but that would mean having to explain to them why I want the book and I think if I told my parents that of the Star Trek cast I was most attracted the middle aged man they would question my mental health.

So I must look for other avenues to read this and I find it, the university I attend has the book held in a special collection in the library, success. But a problem emerges; the rare and special books collection are not allowed to be taken out of the library, therefore, I have to haul my ass to my uni in the middle of the holidays, me being a bad liar I don't know an excuse I can use to go to my library in the middle of January, so I tell my parents I am going to have lunch with my best friend in the same area, which I will be but later in the day, so I ask my father to drop me off at my usual bus stop that takes me to my uni at around ten-thirty.

The second problem emerges when my father does ONE wrong turn means I miss the bus, he for some reason decides to try and catch up to it even though it mostly goes down side streets he gives up and drops me off on the main road that goes to the city and my uni, on me missing the bus he inquires when I will be meeting my best friend and I say "eleven-thirty" you know, like a liar and he's like "oh you have plenty of time" I do catch this mystery bus and I get to my university's library at around eleven-thirty which would be a success if not for me having to walk a while from the bus stop to get to the library, in heels. But I arrive there nonetheless.

The third problem emerges realising I have not been to my university in almost six months due to quarantine and I have no idea how the rare books collections works, I do not want to tell front desk I rented out this biography so I just look around the hold section not seeing the book filed under my last name thus I have to ask the staff and due to covid restrictions they have some complications with the issue and I'm talking to the librarian through a screen anyway but eventually I'm told "you have to go downstairs actually there's a special room where the collection is held." and so my silly journey comes to it's end, I am given the book half suspecting in my social anxiety induced state the receptionist is thinking "lmao old man fucker alert" and I sit down to read it for the next two hours and then I legitimately go to see my best friend for lunch.

Was this worth it? Should I just have asked my parents to buy it for me and avoid that mess? Maybe but now I have a slightly comical tale of how I lied to my parents not to sneak out to a party or go on a date but to literally go to the goddamn library.

#hope you enjoyed this ridiculous and somewhat pathetic tale of the worlds silliest lie to a parent #not to sneak out to date someone but to read the life's details of a man who died before I was born #but when I watch the campy show from the sixties I am violently infatuated with the cameras memory of him #I sometimes think if I do this silly shit for celebrity crushes #I can't imagine how i'll behave for real love interests #anyway #penelope rambles #deforest kelley

[fleur-de-femme]

From the Circadian Rhythm, Time Lives in our Cell Tissue

After many days, I am back. It has taken me a while, but I am finally coming back to my senses. If it wasn’t for the lexapro, I would have freaked out over how fast and numbingly mindless these past three days were. One could ask me what I did just 24 hrs ago and I would just shrug. I’m trying not to overthink and consider it as a sign to relax my body and take things at ease.

Self-awareness Time!

My body tends to move in cycles, there is a calm period as I am experiencing as of right now that lasts a couple of days. A grasp for knowledge is all I care about. Nothing infiltrates my mind except for the microbiology of our brain or the quantum physics of our reality or psychological factors of our appearance as para-social creatures. This is my favorite period. An actual anticipation for the future, the planning, the getting my shit together from the hot mess that I have experienced in the past week. I get so excited that I start taking on everything at once, and this where the danger lies...

Can I do this photoshoot? Yes! Can I go to a museum with person A and then get dinner with person B an hour later? Of course? Can I do my job, travel for a week, while simanteanousouly trying to balance my 3 budding hobbies? No problem!!

I exceed limitation in every sort of a sense, flying through the my days without a care in the world, like I no longer feel fear, just a rush to my goals and success: my only desire.

My mind races so fast, that I don’t even remember what sleep is (In this moment I realize that this sort of sounds like BPD lol). I am THAT bitch, everyone around me wants to be me, consume my energy. I am living life to the max.

Then one day I feel a twinge of fatigue, so subtle that I think of it as an inconvenience, not as a warning, but more so as a test. I keep burning through the days.

I begin to snap more, get more quiet, become slower in my pace. I don’t understand why this is happening? I’m getting some amount of sleep and nourishment why can I not get back to my peak? I continue to ignore these feelings. Please one more hour! One more day! I promise I will rest then!

Nope. The circadian rhythm waits for no one. I crash. HARD. Not into a deer or a car, I would say, but right off the curb into the forest at the dead at night. I feel and see nothing but black, my existence becomes numb and I can’t even find the strength to reach out my arm for support.

Slowly, I make my way out of the destroyed car and up the hill as dawn creaks through the reflective horizon and lagging trees.

---

It is a hard pattern to break. I tend to always ignore my body, and I do it to an extent where I just go completely blind and deaf, I am not truly here. It’s so funny because I always forget that I am just a biological being. Why do I believe that I have the power of a God when I am merely flesh, bones, and have a literal nicotine addiction. I don’t know what comes over me, maybe it’s just capitalism or it really is BPD, but I’m coming to face myself in a mirror that I am not the epitome of my reality or human experience but just a by-product of the physical world’s experience.

I cannot live without you or her or him, I am not even an I. Just an it of a that. Maybe I am not explaining this realization to the best of my abilities, but the more I read of Kant, the better these excerpts will make more sense. He said “the only world we can know is the world created by the innate structure of our minds and thus reality as it is in itself is unknowable”. The way I see it, I am chasing and chasing and exerting myself to unhealthy measures for a physical realm that has no measures; no end but self-implosion. Evolution is a mere reference, not to a more perfect being but to a better understanding of the physical world. We think that we are heading into the right direction, but there is no right without left, no good without harm. There is always a sacrifice.

It is truly hard to conceptualize that our consciousness is only a reflection of the patterns of our world; my mind is a biological database, that had millions of years to gather and sync data. These flowers across from me are incredibly beautiful in my highly filtered sense of sweet fragrances and colorful visuals, tuning in to the sole guidance of our kind-fear of death. I have wondered what the world would be like without the constraints of our fearful perception, but I guess it would just look like nothing in the limited definition of what I believe nothing is (which is very terrifying). 

Thinking of my mind as a projector or even a tea bag strainer is something that I can’t actually wrap my brain around. How does a relative feel like a relative when their absolute is the relative? Kant would probably just shake my head at me, and say “that’s the whole point”.

This is the peak of my limited time here in the biological sense. After these next couple of years, my brain will begin to deteriorate, my hips grow stiff, and eye sight become weak. I try to not think of it as an actuality, and I think that is what saves me from the worry. But my constant restlessness to learn and do everything may be an indication that my brain is telling me that my time here has an end.

[perfectimperfectionblog]

Get Your Shit Together

For those of you who know me, you know that organisation and structure are the key ingredients as to how I live my life. Albeit this does come from many years of living life with borderline OCD, coupled with a perfectionist mentality, which was a bitch to kick tbh! Some of the tendencies still rear their ugly heads from time to time, but I believe I’ve mastered the art of balance for the most part. 

For those of you who don’t know me, hello. I’m here to help you get your shit together by the way of implementing some strategies to live a more organised, less chaotic, life to the point where people will resent you for being an ‘over achiever’. Or like, gosh...! How are you always sah organised?! But who are we kidding, they’re just jealous am I right? 🤪 Ok here is what you need to know...

1). You will mess up! 

The caveat to this is that you can’t use it as an ongoing excuse. Use it more than once and shame on you! It takes 21 days to form a new habit, or break an old one... and 90 days to turn said habit into a lifestyle where it becomes second nature to you. It’s going to take a lot of patience and discipline to get it right, and even then you won’t 100% of the time. You need to become friends with imperfection and failure, at least at first... and remember that any structure is better than no structure at all!

2). YOU actually have to want it. 

If someone else is hassling you to be more ‘organised’ but you could care less, then nothing you do will work because you don’t truly want it. You know that age old saying - you can do anything you put your mind to? This is true, not to mention proven time and time again. You can’t however do anything you don’t want to do because you will find every reason not to. So whether you’re in the pre contemplation stage, or the contemplation stage, have a think about who you are making these changes for and no answer other than ‘yourself’ will be feasible. 

3). Preparation is key! 

If you fail to prepare, then you’re prepared to fail. In order to begin any new regimen you need to actually plan it until it becomes second nature. So whether you are a Google Calendar person or an old school pen to paper person - find what works for you and get planning! Buy pretty stationary if that’s what you need to do to get yourself in the right mindset, after all we are visual beings and when something is aesthetically pleasing it certainly helps!  

Segway...

I am going to do a deep dive into what my day to day looks like so that we can really grasp what a life of organisation entails. 

📌 In my home, everything has a place.

📌 My house is always neat and tidy (if you maintain it, it will literally take no more than 45 mins once a week to keep it this way). 

📌 I make my bed every morning. 

📌 I clear out my closets and draws every Season - anything that no longer serves me goes to good will, or if it’s damaged - ah buh bye! In the bin for you.

📌 I clean as I go when I am preparing food. 

📌 I set aside a day to do my bigger house chores like washing, grocery shopping, meal prep and changing sheets. (It’s important to actually set this day aside once a week because it can be time consuming). I know you feel there’s much more enticing things you can do with your day... but make it fun! I love a good ‘housecleaning’ playlist! 

📌 I keep my workspace free of clutter. 

📌 I wake up and go to bed at the same time every day (with the exception of a special occasion, holiday or night out). 

📌 I withdraw from any screen time at least a half hour before bed.

📌 I meditate for at least 10 minutes every day. 

📌 I move my body every single day - even if it’s walking around the block on my lunch break, I will get it done! 

📌 I plan my meals every day. it’s so important to know what meals and snacks you are reaching for to avoid those exy Uber eats bills.... oh, and your waistline will thank you. 

These are a few of my non negotiables but I have a more extensive routine that works for me and honestly, it does change from time to time when I feel as though something else will benefit my routine, or perhaps there’s something I feel no longer serves my routine. Trial and error is key! 

4). Know what routine works for you.

Mine looks a little like this... 

Wake at 5am. Make a Lemongrass and Ginger Tea. Meditate for 10 mins. Complete my French Lesson. Write my daily affirmation. Wash my face / get ready for work. Make my bed. Pack my bags for my day (could be a gym bag depending what am doing and sometimes I will do this the night before), pack my meals for the day. Do my workout. Coffee at my fav cafe. Work. Come home. Shower. Dinner / dishes. Evening at my leisure. Wash face. Gratitude journal. Book. Bed by 9pm. 

On a weekend I usually substitute work for a book with my daily coffee, followed by a very long walk and podcast with my fur baby before my social life kicks in and I utilise my spare time catching up with my friends. On a Saturday morning I also write a list of what I want to achieve over the weekend. This list usually entails about 10 actionable items, but I never aim for 100% because as I’m about to express, you want to leave space in your routine for spontaneity. 80% is a good measure. 

5). Say yes to life. 

Now you might think there’s absolutely no room for two of my favourite S words... serendipity and spontaneity, but oh contraire mon frere. You need to be open to saying ‘yes’ to life, even if your daily routine might not look as though it allows for it. If an opportunity arises or you are invited to do something, but you hesitate because you feel it might hurt your routine, one day will not make an impactful difference. You need to live your life too and just as one cheat meal won’t make you fat, one day away from your routine won’t ruin your progress - so long as you come back to it the very next day. You can’t make your routine so rigid that you wind up hating your life, that defeats the whole entire purpose. Routine and structure is meant to make your life easier - not boring! 

6). Tomorrow you will thank you.

For instance, packing my work or gym bags the evening before means I’m not stretched for time the next morning. When I am stretched for time, I almost always forget something! Making sure my dishes are done means that when I get home from a long day I’m not completely kicking myself about having to wash dishes just to use dishes. WAY too much effort and this almost always results in a $30 Uber Eats bill! The same goes for meal prep! When you have your meals planned and prepped the ease throughout your entire work week is like no other. I am always thankful on any given day for prepared Natalie when all I need to do is hit reheat on the microwave at lunch! Leaves more time for a walk, a podcast, a scroll of the gram, a phone call with a friend - SO much better use of my time! 

7). Discipline is key. 

Like any change in behaviour, new habit, change of lifestyle - discipline is paramount. Try not to sacrifice what you want (long term) for what you want (right now). So sure, reaching for that second piece of cake or detouring via the drive through on your way home come a Friday night might provide that short term serotonin boost... But it will almost always have you kicking yourself afterward because you’ve just undone the progress you’ve made - especially if this becomes the habit. Until your structure and organisation becomes a lifestyle, you need to make discipline your best friend. Your future self will be kissing your ass! 

‘The secret to change is focusing all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but building the new’. - Socrates!

Good luck! x 

[ja3hwa]

What Ateez would love to see their s/o dressed up in [Spicy ver.]

Genre: Suggestive, Fluffy, Romance

Type: Ateez x Reader [Most are Gender neutral but some have descriptions of the Female anatomy]

Warning: Hint of BDSM, mention of owner dynamics, Swearing, Dom and Sub dynamic, the boys are completely in love with y/n, Let me know if I missed anything.

Note: Thank you @anoooon13 for sending me an amazing request yet again. I tried doing dot points instead of a reaction type layout. I hope you enjoy the read.

[MAKE SURE TO REBLOG AND COMMENT FEEDBACK♡]

Hongjoong : Straps and Leather

The king of straps.

This man will die the minute he sees you wearing anything that has straps on it

Bonus if it's red or black

This man would tie you up with the straps if he wished or you were being bratty

If you are going out to an event, he wouldn't be able to keep his hands off you.

He loves the feeling of leather, and the tightness of it.

This man loves to be on top but let's face it, you have from wrapped around your finger.

"Fuck, I want to feel every part of you."

SeongHwa : Knee-high socks and one of his shirts

Oh boy if you want Seonghwa to lose it, all you gotta do is wear knee-high socks.

If you pair it with nothing but one of his hoodies/shirts, wow this man will be on his knees for you.

This man is a Pleasure Dom, with a corporation kink, so white is a must.

The socks have to be the pretty white ones with lace on the top or even a little bow.

If they have those little cat paws on the bottom, you win.

He would try to pair This outfit with maybe a kitty tail that pokes out the bottom of the hoodie and some matching ears.

"Damn kitty, you look so innocent, so perfect."

Yunho : Cosplay/Roleplay (Maid/Cat-Hybrid/Bunny/)

It wasn't an obsession, It was a craving.

The fluffy cotton, the pastel colours, cute tails and ears.

His heart will stop if he sees you in anything like this.

The first time he caught you in cosplay, it was because you were dressed up for Comic-con.

He didn't mean for his blood to go south, leaving his brain a mess.

But the way the outfit fitted you, he couldn't help but let his mind wander.

"Let's ditch the convention. I'd rather do something more fun with this sexy outfit."

Yeosang : Cute Pink, Frilly and Collared

This boy is sadistic, Charming and a fucking Hard dom with owner tendencies.

He adores seeing you in anything fluffy, cute and Pink.

Bonus point when you let him put collars on you.

When you're out, going to events or such, something he loves to see is you wearing the choker he got you.

He would buy you the most frilly and poofy thing he could find.

Like Seonghwa he lives for the innocent look.

"Don't you dare take those off, I wanna see you come undone while wearing this adorable outfit."

San : Fishnets, Skirts and Button-ups

You can't tell me twice, this man is an ass man and skirts mean three things.

1. A perfect view of under ass cheek.

2. Easy Access.

3. Thighs, Thighs, Thighs.

Any types of fishnets, squeezing your pretty thighs.

Topping off with one of his button-ups.

Woah are you trying to kill him?

"Fuck baby, Come here and let me touch my ass."

He would praise, degrade, punish, do anything!

You're his, and when you're dressed like that, you're in for a long night.

Mingi : His clothes or Nothing

Oh boy, there is no changing this man's mind.

There is no escaping the whining giant when all he wants is you to wear his clothes.

His shirt tucked into some jeans while you go with him to dance practice.

His hoodie consuming your figure when you lay on the dorm couch with him.

Or when he spots you in absolutely nothing but his big t-shirt on.

This man will go wild, bending at your will.

"Damn baby, I can see your beautiful cheeks sticking out of my shirt. Please let me see more of you, Please baby."

Wooyoung : Velvet, Tight, and Soft

This man might be cheeky and charismatic but he melts the minute he sees you in anything velvet.

He would just sit for hours, cuddling you, petting you.

Yes literally petting the velvet on your dress or nightie.

The soft texture would make him mesmerized for hours.

Now don't get me wrong, Wooyoung has intrusive thoughts whenever you wear such outfits.

But let's face it, this boy just wants cuddles and the fact you're so soft too makes it even better.

"God, You're so soft, So hugable, so fucking sexy."

Jongho : Nightgowns, Silk and Sheer

Let's face it, out of all the members, Jongho is the most composed.

He has a poker face when it comes to anything to do with turns ons.

But when you put on any of your nightgowns, especially the silk one, His composer goes out the window.

The soft silk on your skin, the sheer fabric that laces around the edging and the vibrant colour complementing your tone.

You were perfect in his eyes, and he would melt at the sight.

"Wow, How did I get so lucky?"

-

Ateez Masterlist

Navigation

Tag List : @yunhofingers @softforqiankun @violetwinters @kpopmademygradesgodown @lmhmh01 @strangertides @purrhwa @1stray-kids-cb @joti17 @jess-1404

#kpop #kpop smut #kpop reactions #kpop fluff #ateez #ateez scenarios #ateez smut #ateez imagines #ateez reaction #ateez reactions #ateez fanfic #ateez fluff #ateez scenario #ateez x reader #kpop scenarios

[silverstonesainz-archive]

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬

summary: not every chapter ends in happily every after pairing: ex!andrei x fem!reader, bff!sebastian x fem!reader word count: 6.4k warning(s): lots of cussing, not proofread, probs improper use of finnish terms (s/o google translate), there is also literally no plot note: this was originally supposed to be traitor for the sour series, but then i went in a diff direction and had this fic just sitting in my docs. so then i wrote an extra 5k words. pls this was the longest piece i've written and i'm about 98% sure this made no sense lmfao. regardless, i hope you like it.

translations 1. kaipaan sinua - i miss you 2. syödä - eat 3. kirottu - damn 4. älä ole - don't be

⊱ ────── ༺❀༻ ────── ⊰

“Please Y/n,” Sebastian begs over the phone, “It’s opening night, you have to come.”

“Actually Sepe,” You mumble, turning over in your bed, “I don’t. And I shouldn’t. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

The room is dim, only sunlight peeking through the slats of your blinds giving you the ability to see around your room. Not that you even want to anyway, considering the mess that has piled up in your room. Your usual manic cleaning episode has yet to wash over you, and in your current emotional state you do not have the willpower to get up and do something about the mess otherwise.

“You have to get out of your house, Y/n. You need to breathe in some fresh air, it’ll help you feel better.”

“Wouldn’t exactly say that the arena counts as fresh air.” You retort, pulling the phone away from your ear and turning the call on speaker. You rest your phone on the pillow beside you, waiting for Sebastian’s response.  Your eyes focus on the cups and mugs sitting on your night stand, mind wondering what leftover concoctions are sitting in them.

“Better than your room. Bet it’s messy as shit right now.”

“Shut up. I’m in a rut.”

“A rut” is an extreme understatement. This is more than a little obstacle that is easily fixed with a homemade meal and some tender love and care. It takes more than a friend’s encouragement to get fresh air. There isn’t anything, to your knowledge, that could pull out of the darkness you had landed in. Heartbreak has gotten the best of you, eating you up from the inside out as you stare at the shards of your glass heart sitting before you. It’s the type of sadness that seems to have consumed all of you in the last two weeks. Every move you make brings you to tears, makes it harder to breathe. Your sorrow controls you, and there’s only one person to blame: Andrei.

On a normal day, the boy on the other end of the line could easily manage to entice you out of bed and into whatever adventure he had planned. And more often than not, watching your favorite team on the ice would be enough to distract you from your anxieties, even if it’s for just two hours. But these days haven’t been normal, and the idea of leaving the safety of your home makes you feel sick. Sebastian is your best friend, and he’s stepped up and assumed the position of being your person while you fall apart. The night Andrei decided to call it quits, he was the first person you called. He sat on the phone with you for two hours as you cried on your bathroom floor, despite being on the other side of the country and playing a game in the morning. You cried and cried until your tears wore you down. Sebastian is your rock, the only person you could truly trust in these times. He is the only one who truly listened to your grief, listened as you poured your heart out and asked the world why everything happened the way it did.

Yes your girlfriends made sure to check up on you, they tried to be there for you, but it’s not the same. They meant well, trying to lift your head up by saying that Andrei ‘ain’t shit’ and calling him all kinds of names, but that wasn’t what you wanted to hear. Andrei being the bad guy never settled right in your mind. Despite the state he left you in, you never thought poorly of him.

“Kaipaan sinua,” Sebastian’s soft voice breaks you from your thoughts, “Please. Come.”

There is desperation in his voice, something you don’t hear from the prideful young man often. So you concede, reluctantly. “Fine. But I’m leaving immediately after the game.”

“That’s fine. I’ll pick you up before, and then we’ll leave right after. You’re the best, Y/n.”

You bid goodbyes and then he hangs up. You turn on your back, rolling over onto your stomach. Opening night is only three days away and it isn’t nearly enough time to prepare yourself for the fact that you will inevitably see Andrei. Bile rises to your throat, nerves and anxiety enticing it out of you. You run to the bathroom, spewing the very little you had in your stomach. The throw up burns as it comes up. Your chest heaves up and down as panic begins to take over as you sit on the floor of your bathroom, body damp with sweat as moments of the last two weeks play over in your mind. You think of the night he decided to end it, the sullen look in his deep brown eyes as he sits across from you on the couch.

“I don’t think this relationship is good for us anymore.”

You were taken aback by the statement. Sure, your relationship hit a couple of bumps in the final two months but nothing that would make you think that the relationship was no longer worth it. You barely heard his reasons, the way he spoke about the both of you being too young to be tied down. You vaguely remember the mention of wanting to focus on his career and that he didn’t need any distractions. Your heart aches at the memory of you reaching out to him and how quickly he swiped his hand from your grasp. There isn’t anything left in your stomach, but you feel the need to throw up again.

“Please, Andrei! Don’t do this. We can work through this.”

The sound of agony in your voice as you begged him brings tears to your eyes. You bargained and begged until he stopped you. The ghost of his hands around yours sends a shiver down your spine, reminding you of his dull tone as he tells you that he is breaking up with you.

“Maybe in the future, we will be better for each other.”

The break-up has been on repeat in the back of your mind, trying to understand what is the real reason he decided to call it quits so abruptly. Was it for his career? That he was too young to be tied down? You flipped between the two, thinking about which made the most sense but neither did. And when you push his reasons back, his promise of maybe is at the forefront of your mind. You hold on to that maybe, hold on to the possibility that at the end of all this hurt and heartache, you’ll both find your way back to each other. What’s meant to be, will be. You love Andrei with every piece of you. He is your person, the only one you could ever picture a future with. No past love can ever compare to him and all things you shared together. You are convinced that because of that, he is meant for you. It’s the only thing that makes sense.

You flush the toilet before pushing yourself off the floor. Your eyes meet your reflection, heart sinking at the sight. Dull eyes, pale skin, and the obvious weight loss is enough to send you back into another round of tears. You don’t recognize the person staring back at you. That stupid, broken look mocks you and it makes you want to scream. The pad of your thumb swipes your cheeks, collecting the wet from your tears. You straighten your shoulders, looking at yourself one more time.

God, you think, I hate this.

༺❀༻

Thursday rolls around faster than you'd like. Sebastian is at your door just before three, a smoothie and sandwich in hand. He stands at your door, clad in maroon pants and a plaid jacket to match. And in typical Sebastian fashion, a red beanie covers his undoubtedly disheveled hair to tie his look together. His eyes are bright when you open the door, a proud smile on his lips.

“You look good.” He compliments, stepping into your home. “Now here, eat before we go.”

“No, I’m fine. I ate.”

“A slice of bread doesn’t count. C’mon, it’s your favorite.” You don’t budge and he gives you a hard stare, “Syödä.”

“I don’t know what that means, but it’s still no.”

After much back and forth, Sebastian manages to convince you to drink the smoothie and he’d eat the sandwich. The car ride is quiet, only the sound of the radio and your quiet gulps of your smoothie. Nerves begin to get to you, your leg bumping up and down and your thumb back under your teeth. You were minutes from the PNC arena, minutes from very possibly running into your ex-boyfriend. Today may very well be the first time you see him since that terrible night. You know that Sebastian will do good on his promise, but it’s not like he can babysit you throughout the night.

As if he can read your mind, Sebastian looks over at you as he parks. His hand wraps around yours, giving it a light squeeze. “Hey. It’s gonna be alright. I got you a seat kinda in the middle. Just close enough to see us, but we won’t be able to see you. Figured you didn’t want to sit with the other girls… all things considered.”

You smile, “Thanks Sepe.”

He is quick to get out of his car, running over to your side to open yours for you. You thank him again and you give one last hug before making your way through the arena. Your hands are shaking and the arena is suddenly warm despite the low temperatures. You show your ticket and are let into the arena to find your seat. You tug on your hat, pulling it low so that no one would recognize you, on the off chance they did know who you are.

𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚒𝚗 𝚘𝚛 𝚒 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗

Your fingers shake as you type out the text, doing anything to avoid looking around the arena and therefore any and all reminders of your ex. Your seat was decent, a great view of the ice and both goal posts. You were just six rows behind the bench, and every seat ahead of you was filled.

𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚎 ;)

You slip your phone back into your purse, eyes back on the ice as the music blares through the speakers. The Islanders were already on the ice, shooting pucks around and skating around. It’s only a matter of time before the Canes do the same. You briefly consider getting up to grab a snack when they do, but you know that it would be a waste. Stadium snacks aren’t exactly your jive, the prices being the most off-putting thing about it. Six dollars for a half filled box of cookie dough? Absolutely not.

The lights begin to dim and your heart begins to speed up. Panic travels up your throat, your stomach doing backflips. The crowd roars with excitement as their favorite team skates onto the ice, drowning out your thoughts and anxieties. You can’t focus, so you look up. And boy, was that a mistake. There he is, all clad in red with the logo spread across his chest. The red helmet is bright against his pale skin, a few strands of his brown hair poking out and onto his forehead. There he is, your favorite boy.

The first period flies by, nothing too crazy happens. You watch as Sebastian, Andrei, and Tuevo skate back and forth, slapping the puck around and trying to score goals. You try your best to focus on the number 20, and well pretty much any number other than thirty seven. But it was hard, considering that he did manage to score two goals in the second period. It’s hard to ignore his existence when it is quite literally being shoved in your face. The man to your right was psyched, asking you if you saw the goal Svech just hit? And much to your dismay, you did. You watched the way he twists his body, stick scraping the ice as he knocks the puck into the net through Sorokin’s legs.

Canes win, three to nothing. Excitement buzzes in the arena, fans talking about Svech’s goals and what an amazing season he’s bound to have. You couldn’t have walked out quick enough, squeezing through fans and walking all the way to the back lot, right by Sebastian’s car. The boys begin to pour out of the stadium and you hang your head low, leaning against Sebastian’s car. You didn’t know how to face any of them, unsure if they even knew about you and Andrei. And if they do, you’d hate to look pathetic to his team mates. Voices are loud, some of them you recognize, but then you hear a peculiar accent that drowns out all the noise around you.

“What’d you think about the game?”

“It was good! I understand that you scored, but you’ll have to teach me all the other rules.”

The high pitched voice is what forces you to look up. And in a moment, your whole world shatters. There he is, looking down at some girl the same way he used to look at you. You know that sparkle in his eyes, the smile big enough that his dimples indent his cheeks. You know that look anywhere because he used to look at you the same way. Tears blur your vision but you blink quickly, refusing to look away. Maybe that was a mistake, maybe you should’ve turned when you had the chance, walked away, called an uber, something. In an instant, you were forced to face the reality that you had to let go of all the maybes, all the possibilities that kept you afloat. And there he is leaning into some new girl, lips pressing into hers.

Shock is understatement, your whole body is frozen for a split second more before panic ensues. Your phone in your hand drops, the device clattering on the ground. Andrei’s head shoots up, eyes finding yours. You barely register your name falling from his lips in a panic, the way he nudges that girl to the side as he comes up to you. Your heart is beating into your ears, the city around you suddenly hot. The world moves in slow motion the closer he moves towards you and it isn’t until he is right in front of your face do you snap back into reality.

“You… you’re a fucking liar.” Is all you manage, voice barely above a whisper.

“Y/n, please let me explain. It isn’t what it looks like.”

For the first time in two weeks, you laugh. You laugh a real laugh, one that comes from deep in your belly as you double over at your harsh reality. “It isn’t what it looks like? What do you take me for, stupid?”

“No, no of course not.”

“So she’s the real reason why you left?” His gaze moves away from you and you crane your neck so that he is forced to look at you, “All that talk about focusing on yourself, too young to be tied down, all that bullshit to hide your new pretty girl?”

“This isn’t how I wanted you to find out, I was going to tell you.”

“No you weren’t,” You spit, “Stop lying to me, I’m sick and tired of being tugged around and led on. Let’s call it what it is, you left me. You probably cheated too, all things considered.”

“Y/n, no–”

“No? No?!”

You don’t even see Sebastian running over, struggling to keep his duffle slung over his shoulder and his beanie atop of his head. He did his best to beat his teammate out of the showers, even engaging in a lengthy conversation as he changed back into his suit. How Drei beat him out of there, Seb would never know. Sebastian felt sick to his stomach when he saw this new girl, how comfortable Andrei was with her, a drastic comparison to how you struggled to leave home. He never understood it, but it wasn’t his business. Sebastian is quick to wrap his arm around your torso, pulling you against him and effectively further from Andrei. Your smaller hands push against his arm, but your attempts to break free fail.

“Y/n, let’s go.” Seb’s voice is soft but firm, his hold on you growing tighter.

“You,” You point your index finger at Andrei accusingly, “You allowed me to sit and cry and blame myself for this break up, all because you chose to lie. You are a shitty person Andrei, and I hope you’re able to live with that.”

You finally managed to pry Sebastian’s hold from you, stomping away from the boy who broke your heart. You ignore the desperate calls for you, the pleas for a moment of your time so that he could explain himself. But you refuse to listen. Seb's car clicks unlock, and you swing the door open and shut in one swift, fluid movement. Your best friend pulls away from the arena as you dissolve into yet another fit of tears. Three weeks, three long weeks of soaking in Andrei’s lies, defending every single one he told you. After three long fucking weeks, Andrei Svechnikov has finally vilified himself to you.

Sebastian sits in his seat, hands clutching the wheel tightly as his mind flicks through anything and everything he could possibly say to console you. Your sobs burn his ears, and just two blocks short of your apartment he finally pulls over to hold you. His arms, strained against his jacket, pull you against his chest. You accept the embrace, crying into his chest as your hand grasps his dress shirt tightly. The sweet gesture pushes you over the edge, muted sobs turning into wails of frustration. Your lungs burn as you struggle to keep up with breathing. Seb’s lips press a soft kiss against your hair, gentle shhhhs soothing you. Neither of you can tell how long you sat there, parked in front of a closed supermarket. Whether it was 2 minutes or 20, there was no distinction.

“Did… did you know?”

Your question slices through the silence in the car. Sebastian’s arms recede from your body, hands resting on his lap. His eyes cast downwards before they flick up to you, “Yeah.”

“Were you gonna tell me?”

The hurt in your voice pierces his heart, but he wouldn’t dare lie. “Eventually. I didn’t think it was something you should’ve heard from me.”

You nod, accepting his response. “I wanna go home.”

“Y/n I—“

“Sepe. Please. I want to be in bed, elbow deep in a bucket of whatever ice cream I have left in my fridge. I just… I want to be alone.”

“I’m sorry.” Sebastian’s apology catches you off guard. There is genuine fear and concern in his eyes, wide and trained on you. “I should’ve told you, or warned you. But I didn’t know—“

“Sepe,” You cut him off, hand cupping his cheek and your thumb softly caressing his cheek, “Stop it. I’m not mad at you, I just… I need to be alone right now. Okay?”

Seb leans into your touch absentmindedly. “We’re okay?”

You nod, “We’re okay.”

There is a shift in the air, a change both of you feel but neither want to acknowledge. So instead, you lean back into your chair while Sebastian shifts the car into drive. The last two blocks were quiet, only the air conditioning buzzing softly. When he finally pulls up to the front of the building, your eyes meet his brown ones.

“Thanks for coming to the game, even if the night ended the way it did.”

“Anything for you.”

Sebastian leans over the center console, arms once again finding its way around your smaller frame. You hug him back, face buried in his shoulder. You inhale deeply, savoring his musky scent. His hand rubs your back softly, and you feel his lips press against the top of your head. After what felt like a minute (but realistically it was probably way longer than that), you lift your head. Truth be told, you didn’t realize how close his face was yours. You didn’t want to acknowledge how fast your heart was thumping beneath your ribs or the fact you could feel his beating just as hard. You didn’t want to bring up how his hand is resting dangerously low on your back, or how much you like the feeling.

“Sebastian…” Your voice is barely above a whisper, but it didn’t matter.

Your best friend presses his lips against yours. His movements are slow, gentle, sweet. For the briefest of seconds, your world stopped exploding. It was like a scene from a movie, the fire and shrapnel frozen in time, just you and Sebastian moving in time. But then the universe clicked play, and the harsh reality around you came crashing down. The fire continued to burn everything in its path. Your broken heart and the familiar brown eyes flash in your mind and you jolt away from Sebastian. It was as if the touch you both shared turned to acid, melting your flesh away.

Sebastian’s face drains in color, lips trembling as realization comes crashing down on him as well. “Y/n…”

No words could explain why he did what he did. Why he thought now, of all times, would be the most appropriate time to kiss you. It would never be appropriate, he knew how you felt about him. He was supposed to be your best friend, your person.

“No, no it’s fine.” You try to play it off, but your wavering voice gives you away, “I um… I’ll see you soon. Drive safe. Bye.”

Your movements are frantic, quick, giving him no space to get a word in. There is a soft bye that manages to roll off Sebastian’s tongue, but it’s met with his car door being slammed shut. He stays parked, watching as you fumble with your keys and push your way into the building. He rips off his beanie, forehead resting against the wheel as his lips tingle and yearn for your own.

“Kirottu.”

The lights in your apartment flick on and Seb puts his car in drive. He doesn’t play any music, his thoughts loud and rampant enough to keep him company. That singular moment plays over and over, and lights his body on fire. His index finger runs over his bottom lip at the memory of you, and he can’t help but let a smile curve onto his lips.

You kissed him back.

༺❀༻

It had been about a week since opening night, and since then the Canes have been on the road. There has been very minimal communication between you and Sebastian, just texts of him asking if you’re breathing and if you’ve been eating more than ice cream. You are quick to respond with a yes, hiding the fact that the only thing of substance that you’ve been eating is bread. In return, you ask him how the games have been even though you know that they’ve been killing it. Living in North Carolina, there was no way to avoid Sebastian or Andrei so you simply had to push through the flushed feeling when seeing your best friend and the seething rage when you see your ex.

𝙱𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚒𝚗 𝚁𝚊𝚕𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑 𝚝𝚗. 𝚆𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚠.

Seb’s texts come in one after the other, your back to back ringtone shaking you from your thoughts. You watch as the grey text bubble pops up and disappears several times before finally deciding to reply.

𝙾𝚏 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎. 𝙻𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚑 𝚖𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚎?

𝚈𝚎𝚜. 𝙸’𝚕𝚕 𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚞𝚙 𝚊𝚝 𝟷𝟷:𝟹𝟶.

You reply with a quick, okay and set your phone aside. You’d be lying if you said Sebastian kissing you hasn’t occupied your mind. Truth be told that night you lied awake, tossed and turned at the memory of Seb’s lips on yours. You haven’t quite stopped thinking about it.

Tomorrow came quicker than you expected and you were ready for lunch by 9:45. And so with just under two hours to spare before Sebastian would come pick you up, you pace your apartment and make a poor attempt to clean up. You were thankful that you managed to clean up your apartment during the week, only a couple of dishes in your sink and misplaced clothes left to put away. Before you know it, your phone is chiming as Seb sends you updates of his arrival. And the punctual sucker he is, is knocking on your door at 11:29. You swing the door open, Sebastian in a simple black polo and jeans. Daisies are clutched in his left hand.

“Sepe?” You raise a brow at him, taking the gift as he extends them towards you.

“What? Can’t bring my best friend a gift?”

You ignore your heart dropping as you roll your eyes at his comment, “Not without a catch, no.”

Sebastian chuckles, following you into your apartment as you go to find a vase for the flowers. “True. If I remember correctly, I scored the last three games and the Canes are on a win streak. If anything, you should be giving me flowers.”

You giggle, dropping the flowers in a clear vase before you turn and hand it over to him, “Take it back then.”

“No, these don’t count.” He laughs, taking the vase and placing it on the counter behind you. You laugh along, shoving his shoulder lightly.

“Where are you taking me to lunch Sepe?”

“Figured we could get some Italian. There’s a really good restaurant I went with Turbo one time, I think you’ll like it.”

And he was right. The restaurant did not disappoint, a cute little family restaurant just outside of Raleigh. It felt homey, with its 80s inspired decor and the lively music playing softly in the background. You and Sebastian are seated towards the back of the restaurant, his back to the door.

“You aren’t wrong. This is a very cute place. How’d you find it again?”

“Ah,” Sebastian sets his water glass down, a goofy smile on his lips, “We have Turbo to thank. He took a failed tinder date here.”

You both burst into a fit of soft laughter. The rest of lunch kept up the same energy, just a lot of teasing and light-hearted conversation. To the untrained eye, and to really anyone who didn’t know you two, you looked liked you were on a date. You shake away the thought, trying to focus on Sebastian’s third roadie story. You watch as his eyes light up, how much more prominent his cheekbones becomes when he smiles really wide. It was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore the flutters in your tummy as he laughed, or when he said your name. You struggled to hide your flushed cheeks when he said you looked nice, and that he was happy to see you like your old self.

The ride home was not nearly as loud, but you both managed to keep up a very biased conversation about who will end up in the Stanley Cup Finals. The drive was much shorter than you’d like, and as Sebastian pulls up to the front of your buildings, you knew you didn’t want the day to end.

“Wanna come upstairs? I’m pretty sure I still have an unopened pint of strawberry ice cream.”

His smile is soft as he nods, “Sure.”

Sebastian parks in the guest spot and you both make a quiet walk up to your home. The air is light, but quiet. Just stifled laughter as you both purposely bump into the other. You unlock the door, allowing Sebastian to enter before you.

“Y/n…” Sebastian calls your name just as you lock your door, “We should probably talk about what happened that night.”

You drop your keys on your coffee table, nibbling on your bottom lip as you nod, “Yeah. We should.”

You both sit on the couch, the air suddenly thick and hard to breathe in. Neither of you speak up for a minute, afraid of the outcome of the conversation. Afraid of unrequited feelings, or a broken friendship. You look up from your lap, meeting Sebastian’s eyes and you watch as his shoulders relax.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you then. It was a mistake for me to have done that when you were so… so vulnerable. I’m sorry.”

“No… no it’s fine.” You shake your head, “Don’t apologize. It’d be unfair, considering I did kiss back.” You feel your cheeks heat up.

“Yeah…” He chuckles, scratching the back of his neck. “But Y/n, I hope you know that just because I am apologizing, it doesn’t mean that I regret it.”

“What do you mean?”

Unbeknownst to you, Sebastian was doing everything he could to keep his lunch down. Nerves threatened to push his food up his throat in place of the words he kept to himself for such a long time. The Finnish boy spent the better part of his roadie in thought of you. He thought of every outcome of this conversation, every possible response. And at the end of it all he considered if it was all worth bringing up. If it was fair to you for him to spill his heart into your lap while you were trying to recover your own. But then he considers that after you guys had shared a kiss, he didn’t know where he stood in your life. With just a touch, he lost all sense of boundaries. He had to know if he had a chance, or if he was swimming in empty hope. That choosing to push it in the past and to never speak of it, held bigger risks and was more of a disservice to the both of you.

Sebastian swallows hard. “I’ve… I’ve always felt something for you. It took me such a long time to figure out, and when I did, you were so happy with Andrei. And you are always going to be my best friend, but I need you to know that I care about you, more than a best friend normally would. That kiss, was more than impulse. It’s something my heart has been begging for.”

His words render you speechless, mind blank as you tried to think of every way to respond to his confession. You never considered any feelings that were beyond platonic, for Sebastian. The possibility of you and him never really crossed your mind until he kissed you. And how could you ignore the warm feeling in your chest, the comfortability in his arms while your lips are pressed against his? How can you deny that even in the slightest, you felt something for Sebastian? Those stupid butterflies had been bothering you ever since. He was soft, gentle, and you swore you felt safe as he held you.

“I don’t want to lose you,” Sebastian begins again, “If there is anything I truly want in my life, it’s for you to always be in it.”

You smile, reaching out for his hand. Like a magnet, his hand is quick to find yours, his fingers weaving between yours. You look down, admiring the way they fit. “Sepe…” You look up at him, “I don’t ever want to lose you either.”

Andrei’s stupid brown eyes appeared in you mind and you were forced to face your reality. Guilt consumed you, even if it didn’t need to. You were single, you were available, but you couldn’t help but feel bad for kissing Sebastian. They’re teammates, co-workers– fuck, they’re friends. It made you uncomfortable at the notion of quite possibly moving on with a friend of your ex, even more so your best friend. And at the end of it all, in the mess you found yourself in, you knew that you needed Sebastian as your friend, now more than anything.

“I’ll always care about you, will always root for you, even if at the end of all of this you don’t want me the way I want you.”

Your heart ached at his words, tears welling up in your eyes. “Oh Sepe,”

“Don’t cry.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You could never.” He shakes his head, squeezing your hand.

“I will always care about you Sepe, and even I can’t deny the warmth in my heart when you kissed me. But… I can’t.”

You look up at him sadly, and he knew. His smile was not his widest, eyes not his brightest, and yet he still pulled you close. He held you as you both cried into each other, broken that timing was not on either of your sides. Once again, the universe gave Sebastian a cold no.

Sebastian held you until you were both out of tears. Even then, when the room was filled with sniffling and shallow breathing, neither of you made the effort to move. It wasn’t until Sebastian’s phone rang did you guys decide to move.

“I have to go,” He says softly, voice hoarse. “But I will see you soon. Okay?”

You nod, standing with him and walking him to the door. “I’m so sorry Sebastian.”

He clicks his tongue, shaking his head as he slings his arm over your shoulder to pull you close one more time. A force of habit, he presses a kiss to your temple and you lean into the touch, “Älä ole. I’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.”

You nod, smiling. You watch as he walks off, calling back to let you know that he’ll see you sometime within the week, before he disappears to another city. The apartment is quiet, strawberry ice cream long forgotten.

The days following moved like normal, and you did your best to ignore the burning in your chest as Seb’s words and your curt rejection replays over in over in your mind. You can’t erase the pained smiled he put on for you, a decoy to the misery he was truly feeling. You wished that things were different, that you were in a better place to accept what he so badly wanted to give you. But that’s just not how things work.

You were washing dishes one Saturday morning when there was a knock on your door. You dry your hands, unlocking your phone to see if there was any text from Seb, but your notifications are void of his name. The knock comes again, louder and quicker.

“I’m coming, hold on.” You call out. Tossing the towel on your counter, you walk up to your front door, pulling it open.

“Y/n…”

Your blood boils at the sight of Andrei standing in your doorway. “No.” You swing the door shut, but he is quick to slam his hand against it, stopping it from moving further.

“Y/n please. Can we talk?”

“No. You need to leave.”

“Not until we talk.”

You stop pushing against Andrei’s force on your door, letting it fall open. Tears begin to well up in your eyes, brows tense as you look at him in disbelief. “Talk about what, Andrei? What is there left to talk about?”

“I just want to explain myself, explain what you saw last week.” Andrei pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, nibbling on the chapped skin.

“I don’t need it.” You shake your head, “Just go Andrei.”

Just as you turn away to close your door, his voice stops you. “Well I do!” There is desperation, a flicker of weakness in his tone that forces you to turn and face his glossy brown eyes and downturned lips. “You’re right. I’m a shitty fucking person, but Y/n I can’t live like that. I can’t live with myself, with this guilt.”

You couldn’t help the scoff that bubbled from your throat. “It’s really not my fucking problem. You made your bed, best you lie in it too.”

Your grip on the door is firm, ready to shut it. But Andrei’s meek voice rings again. It’s scratchy, broken up by sniffling and stutters as he tries to find a way to express his sorrow. Nothing coherent ever really rolls off his tongue, just strings of pleases and sorrys.

“Andrei, stop.” You finally release your hold on your door, stepping out of your home and standing right in front of him, “Go home.”

“You didn’t deserve it Y/n,” The admission is the first full sentence Andrei manages to make.

“I didn’t,” You agree, “I deserve more than you ever gave me. Deserved the truth, deserved every ounce of respect from you. And now, I deserve to be left alone and the chance to heal from what you’ve done.” Andrei nods, tears and shame keeping him from speaking. A sigh escapes you, arms crossing over your chest. “If you’re looking for forgiveness, you aren’t going to find it here. I don’t know if you ever will. The best thing that we both can do is move on.”

“You’re a better person than I’ll ever be Y/n,” Andrei’s smile is weak, defeated. His hand brushes under his cheeks, wiping away his tears. “C-can I hug you? One last time?”

Your nerves lit on fire at the question, and your body reacts before your mind could comprehend the question. You accept his invitation, arms around his neck while his arms are around your torso. And unlike every other time, this hug marked the end. It was quiet, just the boy’s shaky breathing filling the air between you as he held you against him tight.

“I only wish the best for you. All you deserve and more.” He whispers.

“Thank you.” You pull away, and your vision is blurry. “Goodbye Andrei.”

“Goodbye Y/n.”

You watch as he turns on his heel, walking away from you without ever turning back. When he is out of your view, you return to the safe confines of your home, shut your door, and fall apart. You clutched your chest, the bravery and courage leaving your body as you sobbed. This was really and truly it for you and the boy you perceived to be the love of your life. No more drowning in delusions of him being you ‘right person wrong time.’ No more waiting for your anger and hurt to dissipate so that you can welcome him back into your life. No more gambles with the universe, or playing the waiting game for your prayers to be answered.

That very moment in the hallway in your apartment complex closed a chapter in your life that you struggled to write an ending for. And for the first time in a month, you felt free.

⊱ ────── ༺❀༻ ────── ⊰

tagging @sebbyaho bc you were literally the only person to say finish this and so i did. ily.

#sebastian aho #sebastian aho x reader #sebastian aho fanfiction #sebastian aho imagine #carolina hurricanes #nhl fanfiction #nhl fic #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #sebastian aho fic #sebastian Aho x you #nhl x reader #nhl x you #andrei svechnikov #andrei svechnikov imagine #andrei svechnikov x reader #andrei svechnikov fic #andrei svechnikov imagines #andrei svechnikov x you #andrei svechnikov fanfiction #andrei svechnikov angst #carolina hurricanes imagine #canes imagine #canes lb #nhl hockey #nhl writing #hockey works #svech #svechy #sebby aho

[milkovichs]

okay, so i only just got into reading shameless fic during this past year (despite having watched the show since 2011 lmao) but i’ve managed to binge-read so many gallavich fics recently that i thought i’d share some of my favorites here! not all the fics listed are complete—those that aren’t finished are labelled (wip)!

— cooperative gameplay by grayola – explicit / 421.8k words

At nineteen years old, Ian Gallagher’s stuck. Stuck in a minimum-wage job he hates. Stuck in the same boring routine–sleep, wake, work, take your meds, Ian!, try not to lose it day after day after day. But after his little brother introduces him to MICK MILK, a frustratingly hot horror gamer he watches on YouTube, Ian’s life will never be the same.

[my notes: this fic is a fucking masterpiece! i started reading it around the time chapter five was posted, and oh my god let me tell you, waiting for each new update was glorious torture. the story starts with ian becoming a fanboy of the youtuber mickmilk, until their first meeting at a gamer convention goes horribly awry—flipping everything on its head and changing the course of both of their lives forever. @gallavichy truly never fails, this fic is gorgeous and evocative, and the characters are so well-written and fleshed out. anyway, i’m so sad this fic is finished and i already miss these boys so much. guess it’s time for another re-read!]

— like real people do by grayola – explicit / 213.7k words

At the age of 26, Mickey Milkovich gets his first apartment, his first wifi connection, and his first kiss. How he gets from wifi to kissing is a complicated story. (In which Mickey is socially anxious, Ian is a frustratingly lovable escort working through an app, Mickey downloads said app, and the rest is history.)

[my notes: this was my first introduction to @gallavichy’s incredible fics, plus one of the first fics i ever read for this fandom, and i have literally never looked back. essentially, mickey meets ian through an app, and subsequently falls in love. i’m typically not super into online dating aus, however this fic is so beautiful and tender, i pretty much consumed the whole thing in a day! also, there’s a sequel currently being written that retells the story from ian’s pov, and it’s fucking fantastic.]

— how i’m imaginin’ you by beebabycastiel – explicit / 135.4k words

Recently released from prison on a manslaughter charge, Mickey Milkovich isn’t looking for anything messy. He’s had enough messes for a life time with prison, his piece of shit dad, and his drugged-up brothers. He just wants to work forty hours per week to keep his PO off his back and make sure his little sister doesn’t have another breakdown. Keeping his new life as tidy as possible should be easy. Except there’s an annoying red-haired dancer at the club he works at who keeps talking to him, and nothing about Ian Gallagher is tidy.

[my notes: i love the way this author writes ian and his relationship with both mandy (their friendship is so sweet literally besties) and mickey (do i even need to explain it? they’re soulmates). this mickey is fresh off a stint in prison (for reasons that are slowly uncovered throughout the fic that i refuse to spoil!) and is living with mandy while working as a bouncer for the club ian dances at. and from ian & mickey’s very first meeting the sexual tension is just like. insanely fucking palpable. and the slow burn that follows! holy shit. you’ve gotta read this one for the description of their first kiss alone!]

— furlough by loftec – explicit / 34.1k words

Ian looks like he’s trying to figure him out, eyes searching and brows furrowed, he’s practically shaking and Mickey thinks he might be holding himself back for his sake, waiting for Mickey to give him permission to reach out, to feel, to touch. Mickey’s mind is fucking screaming for him to do it, but his body is still stupidly withdrawn. 1449 days since Ian last touched him. (Or: twenty-four hours of Mickey Milkovich getting some of the things he deserves.)

[my notes: okay so this fic. wow. it was published after 6x01 aired, so it continues the storyline where mickey gets locked up, but diverges from canon in that he never breaks out and escapes to mexico like he does in season seven. the fic begins with mickey having already completed four years of his sentence, however, mickey is granted a furlough which allows him to be released under supervision for twenty-four hours in order to attend terry’s funeral. it’s absolutely heart-wrenching, but with an incredibly bittersweet, yet hopeful ending.]

— someone to hold me up by westernredcedar – explicit / 37.3k words

Just beside the shattered front window is a man, lying flat on his back, a pool of blood growing from his left side. Ian shouts to Sue. The man’s been shot. More than once. It’s Terry Milkovich.

[my notes: whenever a fic explores an au post season six regarding mickey’s stay in prison (like “furlough”) i’m just. dead on sight. anyway, in this au, mickey only spends about a year and a half in prison before he’s released, but he doesn’t contact ian once he’s out, and the two don’t run into each other for another year and a half. ian’s been working as an emt, and his rig is the first to respond to a call involving terry milkovich as the victim of a drive-by shooting (love that for us!)—this leads to ian finally discovering that mickey’s been released. it’s been three years since the last time the boys saw each other and the pain! oh my god the pain. overall, this is a gorgeous story focusing on forgiveness and growth and a love that lasts a lifetime.]

— love is a ballfield by and_i_take_it – explicit / 158.7k words (wip)

Ian and Mickey are teammates on a Triple-A baseball club where they bond over their similar life circumstances. Neither of them want to chance ruining their shot at the major leagues so they attempt to keep their feelings for one another at bay. Until, of course, they can’t.

[my notes: this fic is absolutely iconic. it has amazing characterization, and the intense sexual tension between our boys is so perfectly done, it captures their incredible chemistry from canon and channels it into an au about baseball, of all things. admittedly, i know next to nothing about baseball, but the descriptions about the game/team somehow managed to get me to care for the sport (fictionally, at least). definitely give this one a read, even if you just want to imagine ian & mickey being sexy in locker rooms.]

— things beyond mistake by grayola – explicit / 130.5k words (wip)

In the 90s and early 00s, they were distant neighbors on a long, dirt road out in the middle of vaguely Georgia farmland. Ian and Mickey: two poor, closeted Southern kids with similar financial situations but very different families, harboring secret crushes that felt illegal and that manifested themselves as sharp words, punches, and self-loathing. In 2021, Ian, a high school teacher in need of a fresh start, returns to his childhood home after nearly 20 years to find himself once more sharing a lonely dirt road with Mickey, the boy he once knew and the man he’s desperate to get to know.

[my notes: this fic is so unique and breathtaking i honestly don’t know how to even describe it. once again, @gallavichy​ has rendered me speechless with her amazing gift for storytelling and prose. as it says in the description, the fic starts with ian & mickey growing up as neighbors in rural georgia until ian’s family moves, and then they don’t see one another for seventeen (17!) whole years. even just the premise destroys me because i’m such an emotional bitch when it comes to the passage of time, but couple that with a beautiful and tender story of two grown men in their mid-thirties reconnecting with their childhood crushes in their hometown? not to mention all the super compelling side characters and intricate backstories! holy shit. i don’t know how it’s possible, but i have a feeling that this fic is gonna destroy me even more than “cooperative gameplay” already has, which is just. wow. gray is truly unmatched.]

— intro to quantum dating by spoonfulstar – mature / 454.8k words (wip)

This isn’t what Ian expected of college. The movies had lied to him. (Or: another College AU.)

[my notes: i’m kind of obsessed with the dialogue in this fic? every conversation honestly feels like it could be taken straight from the show’s script, it captures the characters’ voices so well. i adore how low-stakes the plot of this fic is—sometimes you really just want to read about these boys falling in love and exploring their lives together! this fic serves the perfect blend of college fuckery and soft, tender moments between the boys (when they take a break from being their canon snarky, asshole selves, that is). also, as someone who’s super into linguistics as a field of study, having that be ian’s major was such a cool surprise!]

— since we’re alone by buffymilkovich & lethargicmick – explicit / 246.4k words (wip)

When Mickey Milkovich first got to the University of Michigan he had two goals; play hockey and get drafted into the NHL. But by his junior year, he’s at risk of losing his full ride scholarship because of his slipping grades. Enter Ian Gallagher, an ambitious and fiery redhead who takes his job as Mickey’s tutor way too seriously and seems determined on making his life a living hell. (Or: a college AU where Mickey is a hockey player and Ian is studious as fuck. They are everything the other one hates. Or so they think...)

[my notes: what is this? another sports-driven fic, you say? apparently i’m into sports now—seeing as “love is a ballfield” and “since we’re alone” somehow managed to get me interested in both baseball and hockey... i suspect witchcraft. anyway! i love a good enemies (more like annoyances lmao) to lovers trope, so this fic hits all the boxes for me. throw in jock!mickey & nerd!ian, a little bit of oblivious pining, plus a titillating journey to self-acceptance, and i’m good to go! truly, this fic is so lovely and beautifully written, i can’t wait for the rest!]

— muse by toraten – explicit / 35.6k words

Mickey thinks he’s hot, maybe the hottest guy in here tonight, but there is something about the glitter splattered across his perfectly smooth chest and the shaved legs that irks him. He’s wearing tight black bike shorts that make up for a lot, if he hasn’t stuffed the front with a sock or something, but the perfectly preened look just isn’t for Mickey. And yet, this particular dancer has already locked eyes with him now, and he’s looking at Mickey like he’s trying to make a point.

[my notes: this fic is so gorgeous i kind of can’t get over it. mickey’s an interior designer (groomzilla-era mickey! i miss you!) who runs into ian—a dancer at a gay club that turns tricks on the side in order to pay for his education. despite the fic being from mickey’s pov, not only does it explore mickey’s own emotional hang-ups, it also manages to deal with ian’s self-worth issues regarding his bipolar disorder & his experiences with sex work (both implied underage and in the present) super well. it’s left somewhat open ended, but it’s so beautifully done that it’s clear everything will work out. that’s just the power of love, babes!]

— ian gallagher and all of his mistakes by toraten – explicit / 218.4k words (wip)

Sometimes, on his early shifts when he starts at six a.m. and the guy comes in at six thirty, like a whirlwind with a dirt streaked face or a bloody lip or a black eye, but ordering his coffee like he doesn’t look like he just got into a car crash, Ian thinks he hallucinates him. This little guy can’t actually exist out there in the world, right? He’s not actually part of society, is he? Surely, this angry asshole only exists in Ian’s diseased mind? (Or: in which everything is about the same, except that Ian Gallagher and Mickey Milkovich meet each other a little later in life—a little more mature, a little more stable—and manage to make a million mistakes anyway.)

[my notes: okay firstly, just as a heads-up, this fic hasn’t been updated for a little more than a year, so i’m not entirely sure whether it’s been fully abandoned or not. however, considering it’s basically a slice-of-life fic, i think the story could very easily be considered complete as it is (even if the author decides not to write anything else)—as of the latest chapter, ian & mickey have been together and happy for multiple years. either way, you should seriously give this fic a read! the dialogue, characterization, and laid-back plot of this fic are super reminiscent of “intro to quantum dating” (which i adore, of course), and who knows? maybe seeing all of the kudos/comments left on their fic will motivate the author to finish it!]

— let the bodies do the talkin’ by captain_jowl – explicit / 75.1k words (wip)

After combing the greater Chicago area, Mickey comes to the conclusion that trying to find a good fuck is a big pain in the ass, and not in a good way. And now this Gallagher guy, who looks like he cries during sex, keeps showing up at his work and making eyes at him. There’s absolutely no way that soft-looking motherfucker can handle Mickey.

[my notes: because of the description, i didn’t go into this fic expecting much plot-wise besides burning hot smut, and i ended up getting all that and more! not only are the sex scenes exquisitely written, but the emotional depth of the characters is fantastic. i especially love how the author represents mickey’s newly found comfort in his sexuality, and ian’s self-worth issues (regarding the objectification of his body). i can’t wait to see how it all works out!]

— gotta get you into my life by thrillingdetectivetales – explicit / 8.6k words

‘wyd firecrotch.’

Short and to the point in standard Mickey Milkovich fashion. Ian bit back a smile and tapped out: ‘babysitting, y?’ It wasn’t strictly accurate, but Ian figured it was close enough. He tucked his phone into his hand but didn’t bother putting it away. A few seconds later, it chimed with a reply. ‘4 real?’ Ian smirked and rolled his eyes. ‘ya.’

‘fuck that shit,’ Mickey sent back, so fast that Ian didn’t even have time to flip his phone closed before it was chirping again, three times in quick succession. ‘i’m outside. brought a joint. ur welcome.’

[my notes: i’m an absolute sucker for ian & mickey’s season one/two dynamic because there’s simply so much real estate to work with. this fic is a perfect example of that; it explores, through ian’s eyes, the obvious magnetism they feel toward each other—mickey literally goes out of his way to spend time with ian despite his canon, put-upon uninterested demeanor. not to mention the sex is really hot lmao. we love to see a repressed mickey finally getting dicked down right!]

— proof by pink_ink – explicit / 10.7k words

Ian and Mickey are reunited in Season Two.

[my notes: literally what did i just say—i love me some season two dynamic! this fits right into canon, somehow perfectly capturing the feeling of mickey’s tiny little look at ian after he says “whatever, liking what i like don’t make me a bitch” in 2.02, and condensing that specific energy into a fic. however, because it follows canon, you know bad times are coming their way, so the ending with mickey getting locked up lends the rest of a fic such a bittersweet feeling; that particular, aching brand of angst stemming from the fact that, unfortunately, these happy summer days don’t last forever. it’s honestly really beautifully done.]

— that ‘redhead babyface/fuck-u-up’ duality by whatthebodygraspsnot – explicit / 90.7k words (wip)

The absolute last thing Mickey expects when he goes to the bar is to get badgered into doing softcore porn, but the money sounds good. And this redhead won’t leave him the fuck alone until he agrees. And maybe partnering up with him for a couple POV shots wouldn’t be the worst thing on the planet. (Mickey’s smart enough to recognize a slippery slope when he wants to. But he’s gotta want to. And tonight the slippery slope is wearing body glitter and short-shorts.)

[my notes: truthfully, i’m not really into reading anything involving the porn industry in fics, which is why i typically steer clear of any aus about the boys as pornstars or whatever, but this is a such a refreshing take on the concept! it starts off with ian doing solo cam-work, then spotting mickey in a bar and deciding he would be the perfect partner for a scene. i think the fact that the boys aren’t having sex on a film-set surrounded by a crew (and that they are ultimately in charge of their experience together) is why this fic works so well for me—not to mention the gorgeous writing and constantly building emotional tension between the two as they begin to catch feelings. @whatthebodygraspsnot is an amazing author! i mean, the use of metaphor alone!]

— elevator music by gallavichsecurity – explicit / 68.6k words (wip)

He’s late, he’s covered in coffee, and he’s trapped in an elevator with the biggest asshole he’s ever met in his life. (Fifteen minutes ago, Ian Gallagher slept through his alarm—and things have only gotten worse since then.)

[my notes: this fic is the perfect meet-ugly! ian is clumsy and frantic, mickey is grumpy and stressed, there’s some spilled coffee and a stuck elevator and nothing about this moment is ideal for first impressions. at the same time, ian’s growing obsessed with running around chicago, on a quest to find particular street-murals, and mickey is begrudgingly becoming endeared to the pushy, redheaded emt living next door. i love the unfolding of this story, and i can’t wait for ian to discover the identity of the artist responsible for ian’s new favorite past-time.]

— apartment 4a by skiesbelow – explicit / 55.2k words (wip)

Two years after his diagnosis, Ian is finally stable, but feeling a little lost. When the chaos of the Gallagher home gets to be too much, he decides to move out. He answers a roommate ad, and gets more than he bargained for.

[my notes: i’m obsessed with ian’s immediate infatuation with mickey in this fic, it’s super reminiscent of his season one energy—heart-eyes for fucking days (even when mickey acts cold and indifferent toward him). i can already tell their push-and-pull is gonna frustrate the shit out of me (in the best possible way), which just means that all of the loving moments to come will be made even sweeter for it!]

— shut the door and let go by lyricallyharley – explicit / 8.2k words

“Was I just invited to a sleepover?”

“Fuck you, is what you were invited to.”

[my notes: i simply die for any fic focusing on the night before the dreaded events of 3x666, and this fic is just wonderful. i love seeing mickey finally embracing ian’s tenderness for the first time (and any story that headcanons ian as mickey’s first kiss gets an a+ from me.) also, not me reading this and straight up refusing to think about what’s to come in the morning. that shit doesn’t belong here, the gallavich sleepover is sacred ground.]

— a little bit of tender mercy by beebabycastiel – explicit / 34.4k words (wip)

“My neighbor keeps using my address to get their embarrassing packages delivered” AU. (Or: a story about healing, learning to trust, falling in love, and mail fraud.

[my notes: this fic has me asking so many questions right off the bat: why is mickey using ian’s address? what is he getting delivered? what is embarrassing about it? i’m so intrigued. as always, i adore me some cat-dad!mickey, and ian behaving all caring and attentive toward a skittish mickey (who’s clearly going through a hard time). it’s pretty early in the fic yet, but i’m loving it so far!]

#shameless #gallavich #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #otp: come here #fic rec #text #leila.txt #make sure you leave kudos!

[m3dardas]

GIRLS INTERRUPTED II.

minors do not interact 18+ only

caitlyn kiramman x fem!reader

warnings: SMUT, tribbing, fingering, some dirty talk, nipple play.

blurb: caitlyn follows through with her promise to make up for her mother’s intrusion.

author’s note: all i needed was one person to want a part 2. it was definitely a secret desire of mine to finish what cait started ;) and where the hell can i find good screen caps ???

Initially, you didn’t mind waiting until she got back. But, the shame started to set in.

Not a single soul wants to be caught in the act by someone’s mother. And it had to have happened before, because Caitlyn was just okay with her tits hanging out in front of her very own mother.

You just felt bad — like you disrespected Cassandra Kiramman. A literal Councilor.

She didn’t even care to address you. Which definitely damaged your ego. Your parents may not have been a councilor, but they were well respected by many of them. Could your actions have ruined that? Ugh, your thoughts were consuming you, while you were under her soft silk sheets.

It’s been nearly and hour, and Caitlyn hasn’t came back yet. So, you decided to get up and put your clothes back on. Maybe, the two do you could finish this another time — or never. You were embarrassed, and just wanted to go home at this point. Not even go back to the event. Your hair was too much of a mess anyway.

You zipped up the side, brushing your hands down your figure. Sighing, you sat on the edge of her bed, to put the strapped heels back on that you kicked off. You ran your hands over the spot the two of you were, on top of her covers.

Her beautiful face above yours, curling her fingers inside of you. Hips rutting against your bare thigh. Fuck. You wanted to stay and wait it out, but what if her mom came back instead of her. That would only lead to more embarrassment.

You’d be the first girl to leave her room without finishing, and it’s not even her fault. Or maybe it is — she should’ve locked the door.

To be nice, you made up her bed. Setting up her pillows as nicely as they were. Your scrunched your eyebrows, looking around her large room. “Where the hell is my purse?” You hopped off of her bed, ducking looking under her things. With her hands in yours, you stumbled into her room with a purse, but you tossed it somewhere in a fit of desire.

Your heels clicked against her shiny wooden floors, as you rushingly looked for your purse. It was big enough to fit your lip gloss and identification, but it should’ve been an easy find. Bunching up the skirt of your dress, you squatted, peering under her bed.

And there it was.

Laying in the middle of the floor, under her bed. Caitlyn’s bed was huge, so you were going to have to dive under it just to grab it. With a sigh, you got onto your stomach, sliding partly beneath her bed. You grunted, reaching for the bag — your fingers grazing the soft handle. “Ugh.” You groaned, pushing yourself under the bed some more.

Your fingers latched around the handle, causing a grin to pull onto your lips. Finally.

However, your smile was stricken from you, at the feeling of a gentle kick to the side of your thigh. You gasped, glancing over your shoulder to see the painted toes of the woman you were just under.

“Whatcha’ doing under there?” She questions, tapping her heeled foot.

“My purse- I’m getting my purse.” You stuttered, pushing yourself from under her bed. Almost hitting your head on the post holding up her large mattress. The sound of your heart thumping crowded your ears, as you met her royal eyes.

You placed the purse in your lap, leaning on your hands while you looked up at her tall figure. Her arms were crossed under her chest, a look of amusement on her features. “Gone so soon?” She wonders, offering you a hand.

With an apologetic smile, you take it, hopping to your feet. There was a bit of surprise in her almond eyes, seeing as you were evidently about to leave. “Y-Yeah... I mean, getting caught by your mom...”

“Yeah, I know, it ruins the whole thing... I guess I can thank your purse for prolonging your stay.” Caitlyn chuckled, glancing at the small bag between your fingers. Her hand still stays within yours, delicately holding your fingers. “We must’ve kicked it under the bed by accident when we...” You breathily laughed, slightly swinging your hand with hers.

“Uhm, my parents are probably looking for me, so... I should go.” You slip your fingers from hers, starting towards her large eloquent doors. A part of you really wanted to stay, but you’d probably look at her doors the whole time. Placing your fingers on the door handle, you pause biting your lip.

You heard heeled steps behind you, slowly approaching your turned frame. Breaths becoming more labored as you heard the taller young woman gaining. Her cool hands slid onto your hips, massaging the clothes flesh. Her breath hot on the muscles between your neck and shoulder.

“But... Do you want to go?” She inquires, opening her lips to plot wet kisses along your skin. Your breathing became shallow, eyebrows furrowing as you tried not to succumb to her power. Come on, you’re stronger than this. You thought, as you were sinking against her body.

You chuckled, “Of course, I don’t want to go — but y-your mother knows. It shouldn’t be long before my parents f-find out.” Your words came out sharp. One of your hands placing over hers, and your eyes fluttering shut.

Caitlyn continues to place enticing kisses along your skin, her hands drifting up the curves of your body. “My mother is many things...” Her warm lips dot against your skin. “But she is not a narc.”

“Are you sure?” You breathed heavily, lightly moaning at her touch. “I cannot threaten my parents’ reputation... Gods.” Her hand squeezes one of your breasts through the fabric of the dress. Your neck falls back onto her, exposing more skin for her to cater to.

Her fingers hook into the top of your strapless gown, yanking it down. Your breasts popped from the restraint of the padded top, a gasp falling from your mouth. “Positive.” The kisses shes littering across your skin becomes more feverish. Her hands immediately grabbing at the flesh of your sensitive mounds.

One of her hands reached down to lock the door, causing a naughty smile growing on your lips. “No more interruptions, eh?” You dropped your bag onto the floor, raising your eyebrows.

“No more interruptions, darling.”

Caitlyn pivoted you around to meet your lips. He hand cradling the joint of your jaw, fingers brushing through the back of your hair. Her lips tangling with yours, messily and sloppily. Nothing but desire seeping through the pores of the both of you.

Her fingers pinching at your erect nipples, pulling lustrous gasps out of you. You backed her into the mattress behind her, hands pulling at the top of her own dress. But the straps kept her chest from being exposed almost too well.

The edge of the mattress hits the back of her legs, forcing her to sit. She scoots back a little bit, allowing you to seat yourself atop of her thighs. Your fingers work at peeling her skinny straps down her toned arms — her helping out, by taking out each arm.

You’d probably never admit this out loud, but Caitlyn had amazing tits. It was such a boyish thing for you to think of, but it was true. And you wanted — no needed to see them again.

So you yanked down the top of her dress, a bit more intense than how she did yours. You pull away to watch as they drop slightly over the cloth of the dress that covered her abdomen. “Fuck,” You swore, hands reaching up to cup her soft mounds. Caitlyn met your eyes, her bottom lip falling between her gapped teeth.

You always thought her little gap was so cute — and it didn’t get enough credit.

Breathily, you attacked the skin of her neck, grinding yourself against her. Raspy moans falling from her lips. Her slender hands trailed up your legs, hiking end of your dress up your thighs. You nipped at the thin skin, flicking one of her nipples with your hand. “How about we finish where we left of, yeah?” Caitlyn whispered, breathing heavily in your ear.

You barely had time to react before she slid your frilly panties to the side, sliding her fingers between your lower lips. Your lips disconnected from her skin, emitting a sharp inhale. Arms wrapping around her neck at the intrusion of her fingers delving into your cunt.

The stretch felt sickeningly good, especially once she began curling her long phalanges inside of you. “Caitlyn... Oh, Gods.” You muttered in her ear, rolling your hips against her. Trying get friction from the flatness of her palm — to stimulate your clit.

“Just like that... Ride my fingers, y/n.” Caitlyn purred, breathing against your skin.

She pronounced your name smoothly, need leaking from her voice. You released stressed out moans, trying to chase that feeling you felt only an hour ago. Her fingers scraped at your walls slowly, sending you into a frenzy.

“More, more,” You tiredly begged, your hips rutting against her fingers. If you kept it up, you were sure you were going to break them — but she wouldn’t mind much. The blue-haired added a third finger, pushing a lewd whine out of you.

You stuff your face into her neck, to muffle the loud sounds that were threatening to peel out of you. Hands gripping her shoulders as you feel the muscles of your abdomen clenching. Caitlyn sighed at the feeling of your walls squeezing her fingers.

She curled and she curled, keeping her pace steady.

“Look at me,” The blue-haired commanded, lightly gripping your hair to pull your head back. “Such a beauty...” Caitlyn hums, plotting a single hot kiss on your collarbone, looking back up at you. Her fingers working under the skirt of your gown.

You breathed heavily, an ‘O’ forming on your lips. Her other hands still had a grip on your roots, pulling ever so slightly. “Yes, please...” You whined with a tiny voice, the coils beginning to break inside of your pelvis.

Her royal blues watched as the roll of your hips began to stagger, your breathing hitching. Her own lips releasing a faint desired sigh at the final clench of your pussy around her fingers.

A loud, and built up cry emits from your mouth, pulling your body close to Caitlyn’s. You shoved your chest into her face, your body quaking through your high. Her fingers worked slowly inside of you, still. “C-Cait... Fuck, I can’t.” You shuddered, falling limp onto her shoulder.

You snuck a hand between your legs to pull her hand from inside of you, but her fingers kept working. You looked up, eyes meeting her with your lip between your teeth. “Caitlyn,” You mewled with furrowed eyebrows, running your hands through her roots, slightly tugging. Her irises were challenging, seductively peering at you.

“I said I was going to make it up to you, baby.” She licked your jaw, kissing behind it.

Caitlyn pulled out her fingers, flipping you onto the bed. Already in a daze, you went wherever she directed. The fabric of your skirt, bunching at your hips revealing you underwear that was stuck around your labia. She hopped off the bed, tearing off her gown — as well as her underwear.

With glazed eyes, you ogled her slender and toned silhouette. She climbed back onto the comfortable mattress harboring a cocky smirk on her lips. “Like what you see, y/n?”

“Mhm.” You nod, your hands laying above your head, tiredly.

Her hands reach to the side of your dress, that was folded under your tits. She unzipped it, pulling it down your body. You lifted your ass, allowing her to free you completely. Her lips attacked your stomach, kissing along your rib cage — leading to the elastic of your frilled panties.

Her long fingers tugged them down your legs slowly, causing an ache to increase in your pussy once more. Caitlyn left you clenching in pleasure, just after she’d already made you come. The sensitivity had subsided just as she pulled out of you.

You spread your legs as her hands ran over your inner thighs. “You look so fucking enticing all spread out for me.” Her accent rung in your ears, forcing a sensual breath from you. You wiggled your glistening pussy at her, urging her to do something.

And that’s exactly what she intended to do.

She guided one of you legs over her shoulder, placing on of hers over you hip. Her lips grazed the skin of the inside of your thigh, as she tried to find the perfect spot where your clits met. Your bottom lip fell between your teeth for the thousandth time tonight, anticipating the jolt of pleasure.

Caitlyn rolled her hips lightly, breathing heavily searching for the spot. Your anticipation and excitement increased, watching her naked body over yours. Your hands reaching up the roundness of her hips. And then, your clits touched, sending short lived clenches.

Both you and her moaned at the same time, echoing off of her high strung walls. “Please, fuck me, Cait..” You wantonly moaned, gripping at her hips.

The rolling of her hips found a steady rhythm, her breathing loud and airy. Her tits jumped with movement, causing your cunt to clench around nothing. The arm hooked around your leg got tighter, as she leaned forward to hover over you. “You f-feel so good.” Caitlyn purred next to your ear, her lips loosely against your cheek.

You clits brushed against each other, mixing your juices together for slip. The sounds coming from the enforcer reminded you of a group of angels. They were thin and feathered — blowing cool air against your ear. “Fuck, yes.” She moaned, rutting her hips faster against yours.

You mewled and moaned, short nails raking down her shoulder blades. Another hand gripping at her deep blue roots. Caitlyn had whined louder, sobbing in your ear from the build up nearing its release. Shutting your eyes tight, you felt the warmness of another orgasm beginning to wash over you. “Oh, Caitl- ah!” You choked as the refreshing wave of release washes over you.

Tears prickled your eyes as you cried out for the second time, pulling her hair roughly. Which only brought forth her own orgasm. She screamed, latching her mouth onto your shoulder to suppress the sounds. Her body convulsing atop of yours, trying to ride hers out.

“T-That was so good, Caitlyn... You were so good to me.” Your fingers raked through her hair, as she breathed against your damp skin. She dropped your leg, removing hers from being hook atop of yours.

The blue-haired laid between your legs, delivering lazy kisses leading up your neck. “I told you I’d make it up to you.” Her hand slid up your body, cradling your jaw to push your lips against hers. Caitlyn breathed into the kiss, inhaling you like her own personal brand of oxygen. “And you definitely did, love.”

You turned her on her side, wrapping your leg around her waist. Her lips moved desperately against yours, expelling a need that you couldn’t quite understand — at least coming from her. It was longing, like she never wanted to stop. But she did, pulling away to gaze into your eyes with dilated pupils.

“I bet you’re glad you decided to stay.”

“Good thing for that purse, huh?”

And you barely shed one glance at her door, just her.

#arcane imagines #caitlyn kiramman smut #caitlyn kiramman arcane #caitlyn kiramman x reader #arcane smut #caitlyn kiramman league of legends

[katsbaku]

tranquility

pairing: bakugou x f!reader

warnings: 18+!, angsty?, unprotected sex, domestic?, size kink (barely), bakugou has silent sweet thoughts, creampie, small aftercare

wc: 1.5k

this was the closest you’ve been to him in weeks.

his skin was hot on yours, almost burning right through you. his eyes were piercing into yours, panting heavy with soft, hesitant reassuring eyes. a glowing red that sent shock waves through your body just looking into them. bakugou wasn’t known for being verbally expressive, he only really knew how to show he cared through small memories. like when he scoffs as he holds the door open for you. like when he cooks you breakfast and dinner every single day, even when he’s too tired and you insist he sleeps. like when he kisses you deeply every time he gets the chance, never leaving a lingering a peck. like when he whispers a soft goodnight, blushing as he kisses the back of your hand. like when he says ‘i love you’ before leaving in a rush.

you sigh when you feel his kisses trail down your neck, nipping lightly and making you whine. one of his hands skim across your side, the other resting beside your head, trying to hold himself up. your noises were making him dizzy, drunk off of you. he was currently sheathed inside of you completely, his pelvis pressed against your ass as he tries to calm himself down from the overwhelming feeling. he felt like he was going to pass out.

“so tight for me,” his voice rumbles deep, settling deep into your bones and making a way for home. the sound you make as he twitches inside you makes him feel fuzzy, drinking you in even further and falling trap into you. “feel full?” he leans back to take a look at your face.

your glossy eyes reach for him, enrapturing him, “yes, so good. so f-full.” you gasp out a moan when he roughly grinds his hips into you, stimulating your clit.

he smirks lazily, watching you start to squirm and feeling your nails dig into his back, trying to tug at him closer. bakugou rests down on one elbow, his face now nose-to-nose with yours. it feels so good. his cock is hitting right against your soft, spongy spot inside of you. he pulls his hips back slowly, before ramming himself quickly back inside you.

“f-fuck! katsu..” your eyes roll back, a sight that always makes bakugou’s ego even bigger. your pussy was so warm and tight, engulfing him whole and swallowing him into a wet heaven.

“mmm, you like my fat cock, don’t you?” he punctuates his words by speeding up his thrusts, “too big for you, fuck..” he huffs, his hips stuttering when you clench too tight around him, “can barely take me, huh?”

you nod your head quickly, not really trusting your voice. bakugou doesn’t really care much right now, not when you feel so damn good. your moans were ringing around the room, echoing and sounding a sweet symphony in his mind. god, he could fuck you for hours if you’d let him.

“so pretty when you’re full of me,” he leans down to growl in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. he could feel your hand shakily trailing up into his hair, tugging and pulling with every thrust back inside. he chuckles, “cock fucking you up?”

you bite onto his shoulder, letting out a loud whimper that makes him hiss. bakugou buries his face into the crook of your neck, intoxicated by the sweet smell of you and the thin layer of sweat that clings to the both of you. he can’t seem to get enough of you, no matter how much he tries to pull away.

it feels so good to be so close to you, to be inside you and to feel your walls flutter around him with every thrust. “gonna make you cum,” he groans, “gonna make you cum all over my cock, wanna see you fall apart. feel you fall apart.”

he adores the way you squirm and moan, letting out soft curses and broken syllables of his name. you could feel the veins of his cock pulsate, bringing you closer and closer to the edge with every push and pull of his dick. he’s stretching you out wide, breaking you apart one by one all while putting you back together. you struggle to keep you composure when you feel a sharp hiss fall from his mouth, his hefty groans rolling straight to your ears and consuming you.

“sucking me back in each time,” he huffs, licking a stripe along your neck and leaving a sloppy kiss, “your tight little cunt fucking loves being stuffed, huh?”

“yes! oh god, yes.. k-katsu, i’m so close.” your voice trails off into a pretty moan, making his dick twitch inside of you again. he has you wrapped around his finger, willing to do absolutely anything for him at any time. little do you know, you have him the same way. he’ll never admit it, though.

“yeah?” he pulls back to take a look at your pretty face. your eyebrows were drawn together, eyes squinted and trying to stay open but falling closed each and every time. “gonna cum on this cock? make a pretty mess?” his thrusts turn rapid, his thumb quickly pressing hot circles into your clit and making you buck up towards him, “you can do it, baby. cum all over me, make me proud. don’t you wanna make me proud?” he tilts his head, watching you open your eyes as you nod. “good baby.”

so rare, it was so rare for him to praise you like that. to make you feel a fresh flood of warmth to consume you and leave you to keep falling. bakugou can’t stop from capturing one of your hands in his, your other hand still clutching tightly onto his soft blonde hair. you feel his larger hand encase yours, making your heart flutter. your stomach twists almost painfully at a particular push of his hips, letting out a cry.

“k-katsu! cumming, gonna cum.” you sound so whiny, so desperate for your release that he can’t ever seem to want to deny you. he’ll never deny you, never leave you out to dry.

“go on, cum, baby. you can cum. soak my cock.” he leans his head down you kiss you, tasting the way he feels on your tongue. when he feels your walls clamp around him, a long string of moans escaping you, he pulls away to watch you. you look so gorgeous, completely ruined and sweating but still so fucking beautiful that it makes him almost want to go frozen and remember this forever.

“gonna fill you with my cum. make you mine forever.” he slows his pressure on your clit before completely pulling his hand away, but never stops his thrusts until he’s cumming inside you, really filling you up. it feels so good, so fucking good that you swore you came a second time. you whine when he slumps against you, completely exhausted and still completely inside of you.

you giggle, still holding his hand and soothing his hair with your other hand, “thank you, ‘suki.”

he groans, head buried in your neck as he places a sloppy kiss there. he wants to say ‘anything for you’, but doesn’t. “yeah, yeah... shitty woman.” he huffs quietly, but holds your hand tighter and squeezes. he never wants to leave you. never wants to not be by your side.

when he finally pulls away from you, wincing at the flutter of your walls as he pulls out, he admires his work on you. he wants to call you pretty, tell you how breathtaking you look, show you that you’re quite literally glowing. but he doesn’t, and he silently remembers the way your lips pull into a dopy smile. he smiles back, a different yet fond look gracing his face.

he cleans you up in silence, except for the few soft hisses you make when he touches you because you’re still so sensitive. he cleans you diligently before laying beside you and rushingly pulling you back into his side. his arms are strong and warm, safe and sound. he’s your home, and you so desperately missed being in his arms like this.

“don’t leave me again,” you say softly, turning to face him. he takes in your angelic features, convinced that you were truly his guardian angel.

“never.” leaving your side for weeks was hard on him, and he never wanted to separate from you ever again. being called into work constantly meant doing late shifts, never making enough time for the both of you, and going to bed late just to not be there in the morning, making you wake up to empty sheets the same you fell asleep. he could only imagine how hard it was on you. he hated the thought alone.

the sight of you snuggling into him made his heart speed up, and there’s no doubt you could hear it, if not feel it. “i love you, katsuki.”

bakugou tugs you closer, and even though he has a hard time expressing himself, he can’t stop the words from leaving his mouth as he means it with his whole entire being. “i love you, too, idiot.”

so endearing, you think to yourself.

he would always be so endearing to you, even when he calls you an idiot in a soft, loving way.

#bakugou smut #bakugou #bakugo katsuki #katsuki smut #mha #mha smut #mha bakugou #bakugou x reader #bakugo smut #bakugo #bakugou fluff #bakugou angst #bnha #bnha smut #bnha bakugou katsuki #bnha bakugou #bakugou blurb #bakugou drabble #bakugou timestamp #bakugou headcanons #bakugou imagine #bakugou fic #bakugou katsuki smut #mha x reader

[babyboibucky]

Kinda Like It When You Lie

Pairing: Destroyer!Chris x Reader

Summary: You discover the reason why Chris has been lying to you about his whereabouts.

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: le smut, le angst, le toxicity but a sorta happy ending I guess???

A/N: I tagged everyone in my Everything Bucky tag list because why not lmfao okay but no, I’m not sure how often I will be writing fics for Seb’s other characters so I won’t be having a separate tag list for that yet. If this isn’t something you’re not interested in, feel free to ignore skskks

I am dedicating this piece to @lookiamtrying​ who got so pissed off that her mans Chris got a lower vote count than Mickey (prior to the release of Monday) when I did my character fic survey lmfao ilysm, Mina!!! This was also inspired by FLETCHER’s If You’re Gonna Lie

MAIN MASTERLIST

Chris kissed you as if it was his last day on earth. It made your insides twist in a blissful way, the kind of kiss that literally took your breath away and made your head spin. You could feel your lungs burning up from the lack of oxygen and yet you didn’t want to pull away.

All you could focus on was how his lips moved against yours, how his tongue danced around your mouth as if he owned you. And in that moment, he really did.

You got lost in Chris— his taste, his rough palms against the smooth expanse of your skin, his weight on top of you as he pressed you down against the cheap motel bed.

It wasn’t until you tried to touch Chris that you realized he had restrained your wrists with something cold and hard. Pulling away from his fervent kiss, you glanced up and saw that he had both of your wrists handcuffed against the headboard.

Tugging at your wrists, you let out a chuckle. “What’re ya, a cop?” you asked.

Chris breathed out through his nose, “Kinda.” he rasped out before taking your bottom lip in between his teeth, tugging at it before sliding his tongue back into your mouth.

You moaned into the kiss and opened up your legs to fully accommodate Chris’ huge build, his pelvis thrusting against your clothed core making you whine against his lips.

“You gonna arrest me or somethin’?” you asked playfully, tilting your neck to the side as you allowed Chris to nip at your skin, his thick beard scratching you much to your delight.

He pulled back to look at your eyes, “Only for stealin’ my heart, darling.”

-

What you thought was a one-night stand turned into something more. Not that you were complaining, in fact, you’d quickly fallen head over heels for Chris. How could you not when he was the most honest man you’d met in your entire life?

After that first night, Chris told you everything about him and his job. An FBI agent who needed to go undercover as a drug dealer in order to infiltrate a huge drug syndicate. He had been undercover for a while now and it was consuming, he said. That’s how you found him drinking alone at the bar you worked at.

“You planning to consume our entire stock of beers or what?”

Chris let out a breathy chuckle as you placed two more bottles of beer on his table. The man had been in the bar for hours now, drowning his miseries away since his arrival. You noticed him as soon as he sauntered into the bar— all beard and tattooed muscles on display with the denim vest he wore.

“I’m sorry.” he huffed out and you were surprised at how soft spoken he was despite his tough exterior. “Work’s been stressing me out, is all.” He explained with a firm smile.

You couldn’t help but return the gesture, “Thought you were stressin’ over your girl.” You smirked.

Chris narrowed his eyes at you, tongue darting out to lick his lower lip. “Got no girl to come home to.” He said, voice an octave lower and a little bit rougher.

You bit your lip and shrugged, “Man like you can easily find a solution to that.” You said and winked before heading back behind the bar, swaying your hips a little more than the usual.

By the time you reached the bar, you looked back at Chris and caught him staring with a certain look in his eyes.

The same look he would give you whenever you get mad at him for coming home late. The look that always won you over no matter what.

-

“You said you’d be home by eight, Chris. That was four hours ago.”

Chris rubbed his face and dropped his keys on the tray by the front door. You watched him with suspecting eyes as he trudged towards you, eyes tired yet apologetic.

“‘m sorry, sweetheart. Went out with the guys, you know how it is.” he said and tried to reach out to you but you were quick to step back.

“Could’ve texted me, y’know? I made dinner, your favorite. Got cold and decided to throw it in the bin when you didn’t show up.” you said, shaking your head in disappointment and turned around to retreat back into the bedroom.

Chris caught you and gripped your waist in his strong hands, preventing you from further walking away. He pulled your back against his chest, nuzzling his face into your neck as he whispered apologies into your ear.

“I’m sorry, babe. Let me make it up to you, huh?” he murmured roughly into your ear. “Wanna make you feel good, make you forget my sins.” he teased, earning a soft chuckle from you.

He sucked the skin beneath your earlobe, making your knees weak and your core throb. Chris gently turned you around to face him until your eyes met his-- dark and still apologetic, you wondered why because you’d already forgiven him the moment his hands touched your skin.

Your question was immediately forgotten when Chris kissed you, tongue quickly finding its way into your mouth. His kisses were always so urgent, so hungry and feral.

He always kissed you as if it was the last time.

Clothes strewn everywhere, raspy grunts and high pitched moans, sweaty bodies moving against each other. Every single time you and Chris argued, it always ended the same way, with you giving in to his sweet words and hot touches.

A hand on your nape kept your cheek pressed down onto the mattress as Chris pounded you from behind. Laying flat on your stomach, you could feel every ridge and every vein of his cock as it dragged against your walls. Gripping the sheets tightly, your knuckles turned white as you slightly lifted your ass up earning a harsh spank from Chris.

“You fuckin’ like it when I fuck you rough?” he growled, spanking your ass again before squeezing it into his large hand.

You whimpered at the cold sensation of the rings on Chris’ fingers, wanting it to mark your skin as soon as he was done with you. You moaned when Chris pulled back until only the tip of his hard cock remained in your tight pussy. Tears gathered in the corner of your eyes when he pushed your nape further into the mattress at the same time he slammed back in with such force that made you elicit a sound akin to a wail.

“Right there, Chris!” you wantonly pleaded, your drool soaking the sheets beneath you.

“I got you, baby. Gonna fuck you so good you’d forget what you were mad about.”

And forget you did, not just once, not twice. Not even thrice. Every single time Chris came home to you smelling like someone else’s perfume when he claimed to be out with his friends, you always ended up willingly forgetting about it. Chris had you wrapped around his finger and you knew it.

You knew he was lying about his whereabouts and the thing was, you chose to believe in it.

Because with each lie that slipped past his lips, came the sweetest apology followed by a promise to make you feel good and Chris always delivered.

You’d rather hear Chris’ lies than to hear his goodbye just so you can have him in your bed again and again and again.

-

The last lie you tolerated was when he forgot about your anniversary and came home the next day, all moody and grumpy. He went straight to the bathroom, mumbling about how he was tired from work and you didn’t know whether he was lying again or not.

You’d believed too many of his lies by now that you couldn’t even determine which ones were the truth and which ones weren’t.

“Happy anniversary to us, Chris. In case you forgot.” you said as soon as he got out of the shower.

Chris’ face fell, eyes refusing to meet yours from shame. He should be ashamed and so should you, because you’ve tolerated his lies for a year now and no matter how much you wanted to confront him, you always ended up forgiving him.

“Fuck.” he cursed. “I’m sorry, it’s just that...the buy bust operation was last night and it slipped my mind.” he said.

And there it was again, the look in his eyes that turned you into a moaning mess beneath him as soon as his lips found yours. Whenever Chris would lie, it always seemed to be so fucking worth it. Because he always fucked you senseless until you were stupid for him, enough to let him get away with his pathetic excuses.

But not tonight, because as Chris bent you in half with his cock slipping in and out of your wet cunt, you promised that this will be the last time you’d enjoy the aftermath of his lies.

“Come on, baby. Give me one more. Want this pussy to milk my cock dry, c’mon pretty girl.” he urged, slipping a hand in between your sweaty bodies, his thumb swiping at your clit until stars exploded behind your eyes.

His name was chanted out like a prayer, your lips red and swollen from being kissed and bitten. A few more hard thrusts and you felt Chris spill his seed into you, warm ropes of his cum painting your walls. He carefully slipped your legs off from his shoulders before laying down on top of you, pressing open-mouthed kisses on your chest as the both of you caught on your breaths.

“Where were you last night?” you asked, voice barely above a whisper.

Chris turned his head to you, trying to read your face but you kept your gaze on the ceiling. Tears escaped your eyes as you laid on the bed, blinking them away when they wouldn’t stop spilling.

“I want the truth, Chris.” you added, wiping your tears with the back of your hand.

The bed moved when Chris sat up, reaching for your face and turning it to wards him. Your lips were trembling, fighting back your sob. Chris closed his eyes and shook his head.

“I’m sorry.” he said.

“I don’t want your apology, Chris. I want the truth, please.” you begged.

“I can’t stay with you anymore.” he said.

You frowned and sat up, bringing the sheets up to cover your naked body. “Who’s she?” you asked. “I know you’ve been seein’ someone behind my back, I want to know. Who is she? ‘nother FBI agent? Or someone you met while you were undercover?” you were more of mad than hurt now, all your suppressed emotions finally resurfacing and begging to be released.

Chris swallowed and refused to meet your gaze, “It’s...it’s not like that.” he said.

“The fuck you mean, Chris?” you asked.

There was silence for a brief moment, as if Chris was gathering up all the courage he had left in him. And then he looked at you with the same guilty, apologetic eyes again. But it was different now because you knew that there wouldn’t be anymore lies which meant no more sweet talk and no more Chris in your bed until the next morning.

“I never cheated on you.” he huffed out. “I’ve always been...with Erin.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You were a part of my undercover. The leader of the drug syndicate I was trying to infiltrate frequented the bar you worked at. Needed to get as much as information as I can and I easily got that when we started—”

Your hand trembled after landing a solid slap on Chris’ face. Your heart ached, your vision spun and suddenly, nothing made any sense to you anymore. All this time, you thought that was Chris was being unfaithful to you when in truth, he was cheating…with you.

Now you finally understood why he always kissed you as if it was the last time, why he looked at you with those apologetic eyes whenever he came home late, whenever he lied.

Chris told you the entire truth, that he was at the bar during an operation and not after. He manipulated you into believing that everything he told you were real, that he was a good and an honest man, that Erin was nothing but a partner at work.

“When you said you love me, was that a lie too?” you asked, voice breaking because this was too much. Everything was too much.

Chris held your face in between his hands, rubbing his thumbs across your cheeks, “No. No, that wasn’t a lie. I do, I love you. As soon as the operation was done, I couldn’t say goodbye. I always said I’d tell you the truth but I couldn’t. I wish I hadn’t met you like this.” he reassured.

You pushed him away and covered your face with your hands, unable to believe that for an entire year, you’d dedicated your life and your love to someone who had been using you.

“Does she know about me?” you asked.

Chris nodded, “She does.”

You scoffed, “She fuckin’ pities me, doesn’t she? Probably told you to take your time, ‘cause the truth will fuckin’ ruin me.” you said and chuckled bitterly.

“You used me, Chris. Fuckin’ used me and made me a goddamn fool. Is Chris even your real name? Who the fuck are you?” you asked.

“I lied about everything except for two things. My name and when I said I love you.”

You shook your head, wiping away your tears. You’ve finally woken up, brought yourself back to consciousness and decided to accept that Chris was never honest and that not once did he become yours.

“Liar.”

-

Picking up the pieces of your broken trust was very much like working with the shards of a broken mirror. At times you came out unscathed but for the most part, you were left wounded and bleeding and in pain.

Putting all the broken pieces back together was definitely not easy and it took you years to do so. No matter how careful you were though, the mirror was never completed. There were ugly cracks and everywhere that you couldn’t hide and there was a missing piece. But that’s alright, because you tried to put yourself back together and you weren’t perfect but at least you did your best.

The bar you started working for was quite new, which explained how busy it was even on a slow Wednesday. It wasn’t as big as the old bar you used to work at, but this was newer and catered to a more classy crowd.

No rough bikers, no FBI agents going undercover, no funny businesses.

“Two bottles of beer for table seven.” your manager called out, “Thought it’d be slow today, boy was I wrong.” she commented to which you chuckled.

Taking out two ice-cold bottles from the fridge, you weaved through the crowd and tables until you reached your destination. Placing the bottles on top of the table, you asked the customer if he wanted to order something to go with his drinks.

Taking out your notepad, you finally looked up and was met with a pair of familiar blue eyes. You almost didn’t recognize Chris if it weren’t for those eyes. He was no longer sporting a buzz cut and had longer locks, his beard had grown out but was well-trimmed. His tattooed arms weren’t in full display and instead of the usual denim outfits he wore, he was merely clad in a plaid, maroon button down shirt.

“Hi.”

You couldn’t help but scoff, “Let me guess, you’re undercover and your target is a frequent customer here.” you said.

Chris laughed mirthlessly and shook his head, “I quit from that job years ago.” he said, much to your surprise.

“You stressin’ over your girl?” you asked.

“Got no girl to come home to...anymore.” Chris replied, those damn apologetic eyes making your knees weak once again.

You rolled your eyes at him and placed your notepad back in your apron, “If you’ve nothin’ else to order, then enjoy your beer. I guess.” you said and turned around but was quickly tugged back when Chris grabbed at your wrist.

Scowling at him, you eyed his hand and then back up at his eyes. They didn’t look apologetic though, you realized, he was giving you the same look but something was different.

You just didn’t know what changed.

“I did love you.” he said. “And I still do and I want to come home to you again.” he quickly added, tightening his grip around your wrist as if he was afraid to let you go.

Surprisingly, there was not an ounce of anger left in your heart. It had been a complete three years since the incident. He left you feeling used and broken but you managed to fix yourself. Not completely, but enough to find it in your heart to forgive Chris for what he did.

“I want to believe you, I really do. But it’s hard for me to do that now.” you explained.

Chris nodded in understanding, “I know but I want to start over again. Make things right, if you’d let me. No lies this time, just me and my truth.” he said, his thumb rubbing soft circles against the inside of your wrist.

Honesty. Pure and genuine honesty— that’s what changed in the way Chris looked at you. There wasn’t any guilt in there anymore, no hidden agendas and whatnot.

Just the truth and the missing piece you never knew you needed to complete your mirror.

-

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@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14 @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3 @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm @charminivy @amelia-song-pond @iamvalentinaconstanza @mcubqrnes @im-squished @tcc-gizmachine @sipsteacasually @prettyintopeerpressure​ @weloveyasmin @est19xxshit @bloodhon3yx @dressed-in-prada​ @lizette50​ @thatfangirl42​ @sunflowerbunny2​ @unmagically​ @okiegirl24​ @sugarpunch-princess​ @enlyume​ @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp​ @lyoongx​ @just-deka​ @nobody-will​ @jaziona92 @elisebuitron​ @dpaccione​ @suvikamahes98blr​ @buckybarneshairpullingkink​ @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x​ @nani-kenobi @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @belladonnabarnes​ @iloveangstposts​ @weenersoldierr​ @asemistablehundredyearoldman​ @reidbuck​ @lizzarooni​ @girlfriday007​ @bonkywobble​ @lost-in-the-stars03​ @its-yasbxtch​ @whoth3hellisbucky​

#bbb writes #oneshots: destroyer!chris #destroyer!chris #destroyer!chris x reader #destroyer!chris x you #destroyer!chris angst #destroyer!chris smut #sebastian stan

[ekaterinatepes]

Nothing but the Best

Author’s note: it’s getting interesting here ;) enter prince charming Sugu-kun to save the day.

IX.

https://youtu.be/uhoiqVPmURE

Satoru was afraid of making a move, least he tipped you over the edge and made you bolt; he didn’t want that. Swallowing hard he looked into your eyes… God… he had missed your beautiful E/C eyes so much. Waking up every morning without you by his side, without you kissing him awake cause he was going to be late for work… again. Your absence had left a literal infinite void in his heart that he was unable to fill.

“I know I don’t deserve anything from you Y/N, but I love you and I cannot give up on us… We said forever when we got married. And I want that… with you” speaking from the heart was not something Satoru ever did. He always preferred to cover any emotions with inappropriate jokes and double entendres. But he knew he couldn’t play his stupid games, not with you and most certainly not now.

You pulled away in that moment, as if his touch was burning you. He allowed it, doing his utmost effort not to pull you back in. His hands itched resting at his sides, missing the warmth of your body.

|||

It was you and me, it seemed to last forever

The way you taste and I still remember… the sounds we made.

|||

“It would have been nice if you felt that way before you decided to ruin this marriage. Where were those promises of forever when you fucked someone else?” You asked piercing his eyes with yours. He cowered under your glare. Satoru had never been on the receiving end of your wrath and now he understood why most people chose (wisely) to not mess with you. Every single one of your words was chosen carefully to cause the most damage. At the same time… what hurt the most was that you were right.

“Leave and don’t ever come back… you and I… are through…” Satoru noticed how you avoided calling him by his name, he hated it. As if uttering his name would leave a bad taste in your mouth “Y/N…” he whispered pleadingly when you took another step away. But this time he didn’t have the courage to stop you as you disappeared inside your apartment and locked the door behind you.

|||

I bet you wish you had me back! Another chance to gain it, just like that. The best you ever had.

|||

Satoru was fucked.

—————

The next morning Suguru’s plane landed. JFK international airport was as busy and chaotic as one would expect. After collecting his luggage he made his way to a cab giving the driver your current address.

He hadn’t been able to sleep a wink during the trip, his mind swarmed with all the possibilities of what could be happening right now. Satoru didn’t play fair and of course… you loved (probably still love) the lucky bastard.

With a sigh he decided to focus instead on the city going by through the cab’s windows. It wasn’t the first time he was in New York and his mind was much more occupied torturing him instead of appreciating the landscape.

After 40 minutes, Geto stood before a very nice and modern building located in the upper east side called Hawthorn Park. You sure knew how to live in luxury. He approached the doorman and let him know his name and that he was here to see Miss Ekaterina Petrova to which the kind looking old man responded by using his intercom to contact you. Geto was soon granted access and guided to the elevator.

The elevator doors opened on the 21st floor, he walked to the door of your apartment which was already open and you were waiting for him. His smile fell once he noticed you have been crying “oh Kitten” dropping his luggage on the spot he surrounded your body in his arms “I’m so sorry…” one didn’t need to be a genius to know Satoru had found you.

You both moved inside your apartment. Settling on the spacious couch you buried your face on Suguru’s lap as you cried. He stroked your now darker strands of h/c hair without a word exchanged. He knew you needed to let it all out. After what seemed an eternity you sat back up. Suguru gently dried your eyes.

“He was here last night…” you whispered in a raw and scratchy voice, result of your endless hours of distress before his arrival “he told me he loved me, that he left Sookie” scoff “and hear this… he left her because the baby wasn’t his!” Talk about karma at its best. Suguru already knew that but he was surprised to hear Satoru had come clean about it to you “He probably thought I would fall for that! But I didn’t” you added firmly.

Suguru was proud of you. He knew how hard it was for you to resist Satoru but you stood tall and proud when it mattered the most. “What do you want to do now?” Where you planning on moving again?

-

“I’m not leaving…” you said looking into Suguru’s liquid amber gaze. You couldn’t help but notice once again he had such pretty eyes, like a cat. You’ve always liked them, specially when they looked at you with such tenderness. You have missed him dearly during all this time.

“I can’t keep running away from him; I mean… it’s obvious he won’t stop and I… I am tired of molding my life to adapt to his whims. I’m staying here whatever happens. Sugu… I got the part for the Swan Lake!” You added remembering you haven’t talked to him during the last week and so he didn’t know about your latest accomplishment.

Geto’s eyes enlarged before a huge smile split his handsome face and his massive frame engulfed you in a tight hug. Of course he knew everything about ballet, he was your best friend after all. This was huge! Probably as big as making it in the ballet world meant “I’m so proud of you Kitten!” He said excitedly kissing your temple. Maybe not everything was as bad as he thought.

You were upset, it was true. But then again you were not prepared last night. Satoru had taken you by surprise. Now… you knew he was here and more or less knew what to expect from your soon to be ex-husband.

“Thank you Sugu…” you stopped and pulled back just slightly to look into his eyes from your height. He was a very tall man compared to you “I missed you” you said with a bright smile to which Geto replied with one of his own before pulling you in again for another hug “I missed you too Kitten” stroking your back softly Suguru decided he was happy to be here… with you.

-

https://youtu.be/3oSXqLgoSq4

|||

She's given up, been holding on for way too long

She's had enough

He's coming home again

But it's too late 'cause she won't stay with him

|||

The sunshine hitting his face was what woke him up. With a grunt Satoru rolled over on his side only to fall unceremoniously from the couch where he had passed out last night. The last thing he remembered was warping back to his hotel after you left him on the roof. The memory of you, turning your back on him and walking away squeezed his heart in a painful grasp.

Alcohol was never something he was attracted to, he liked to keep his brain constantly alert and stimulated. It served a purpose of course, it kept his infinity barrier on at all times, even when he was asleep. But last night he hit rock bottom. He didn’t care anymore…

As soon as he got back to the hotel, hopelessness made a home in his chest, sitting heavy on his heart. Walking to the fully stocked bar placed on the corner of his suite he opened a bottle of whiskey. He started slow since most everything was too bitter for his taste, so he went through the process of trying every single bottle until he found something to his liking.

Two hours and about fifteen different shots of everything he decided to settle for a bottle of Amaretto, some fancy Italian liquor made of apricot kernels. It was sweet.

Everything else after that was blur. Moving his sore body from the floor he forced himself to go to the bathroom. Maybe a hot shower would help ease his misery. Peeling off his clothes the smell of booze clinging on them made Gojo cringe. He decided to brush his teeth before showering. Looking in the mirror he couldn’t recognize the man starring back at him. He was a mess.

|||

Are we just ghosts out in the night?

Are we just waiting for a light that doesn't shine?

Are we just faking or is this real?

'Cause I don't know how to feel

Are we just ghosts now, you and I?

|||

Last night he had been so desperate, so hopeless and broken hearted. That’s when it hit him… his wife didn’t hurt him, she didn’t cheat on him (unlike himself), she didn’t do anything to him and yet he was feeling as if the world was collapsing around him. He lied, cheated and fucked up everything for them both.

Guilt…

Unadulterated, burning and suffocating guilt was consuming him. He felt bad before but it wasn’t until last night that he grasped the concept that Y/N didn’t owe him anything at all and that HE didn’t deserve it anyways.

The plan originally had been to get back in your good graces by doing penitence, submitting to your every whim and desire by becoming your devoted slave for as long as you would have it. He never even considered the possibility that his wife DID NOT WANT to forgive him in the first place.

He thought you left to give him a lesson, that you would eventually come back to him after he had a taste of what it was like to lose you.

But even after you both shared such a searing kiss, so passionate that every cell in his body was humming, aflame with desire you still managed to walk away from him as if it meant nothing to you.

What good did it do to him to be the strongest when he couldn’t even protect his wife… from himself.

After showering, changing clothes and ordering every sweet pastry and desert from the room service menu Gojo stopped to rethink his strategy.

What?…

Did you think he was going to stop there?

Absolutely no, love!

If anything, your rejection had only fueled his need to get you back.

“Time for plan B” sighing he pulled out his phone it rang a couple times before someone answered “good morning Mrs. Mazzo, this is Gojo Satoru. I’m going to need you to forward to me Miss Petrova’s rehearsal schedule…”

—

“This is really good!” You hummed happily after swallowing a bite of your steak. Suguru sat across from you at Keens Steakhouse, with a grin he watched as you indulged yourself in what you called your ‘cheat meal’ of the month. Being a professional ballerina was a tough and demanding commitment that controlled every aspect of your life, from how you train to what you eat. Despite it all, Geto knew you always found a happy balance that worked just fine for you.

Seeing your big smile made his heart jump in his chest, you were as beautiful and alluring as the day he met you. If only he had told you he liked you before Satoru did. This question kept him up at night, playing all sorts of scenarios in his mind. If he had taken the first step… would things have been different? Would you have ended up together? Married? Shaking his head he tried to focus on what you were actually saying. Deviating his thoughts to that kind of scenarios was dangerous. He also didn’t want to push it when he was perfectly aware you were still healing; he wasn’t a low life piece of shit to take advantage of your vulnerability.

But when you smiles at him as if he was the only thing in your world, when you held his hand across the table, playing with his finger, his throat felt dry and tight.

“What do you think Sugu?” Your curious and expecting eyes caught him like a deer in the headlights “I’m sorry Kitten, I was distracted. Could you repeat that please?” He asked with an affable smile.

You chuckled and stroke his hand softly “you look tired, did you sleep at all in the plane?” He shook his head “no, I didn’t. I never can, it’s uncomfortable” he hid on purpose the true reason why he hadn’t been able to sleep “come on Sugu! Let’s go back home! I bet you are tired” you said offering him a sweet smile.

After paying your bill you walked the few blocks back home. Suguru of course would be staying with you in the spare room of your penthouse. Holding hands while you talked to him about the activities the city had to offer, your schedule and how you intended to fit the time to do some tourism with him. “You don’t have to bother Kitten, I know you are busy enough with your job, I will be fine” he insisted.

You stopped on your tracks and stood in front of him, pouting, making him chuckle. You looked every bit the kitten he knew you to be, all bothered and moody “no! I want to spend time with you too you know! I haven’t seen you in so long! I’m not going to waste this chance!” You insisted to which Suguru threw his hands up in the air “I surrender Kitten! Do with me as you will” you giggled and then blushed. “Uh… eh… ok! I will!” He took your hand again and you both resumed your walk.

-

Satoru warped to the roof top of the building adjacent to yours, the lights were out in your apartment and he couldn’t sense your presence inside. You left? Where did you go?

Before a second though he warped inside your apartment but he saw all your stuff was still there, maybe you went out for groceries or something?

After a few minutes sitting on your couch he decided to wait for you on the street so he could see when you got home.

(Almost an hour later)

Oh… he wasn’t ready for what he saw.

“That mother fu….” Satoru grinds his teeth watching you walk down the street holding onto Suguru’s hand while talking distractedly. From his hiding spot in front of your building he closed his hands in a tight fist.

Well, this complicated things… a lot more.

————-> Chapter 10

———————————-

@sleepyamaya

@cloudsinthecosmos

@jxvajxy

@satoruhooraaa

@my-reality-is-in-my-head

@dok-ja

@jscarlet06

@fiona782

@thatsharklovingwoman

@heichoustheoryofcleanliness

@syynnaaah

@shaylove418

@coldvillainess

@vampgguk

@sukuna1stwife

#jjk #jjk Gojo #Gojo Satoru #gojo #Satoru #jujutsu geto #jujutsu gojo #geto x reader #gojo x reader #gojo angst #gojo x you #gojo saturo x reader #geto smut #geto x y/n #geto suguru #jjk suguru #getou suguru x y/n #Youtube

[cower-before-power]

Naked Attraction

Summary: A typical day in your art class turn into anything but when you’re introduced to your nude model for the week- a devastatingly gorgeous man named Levi.

Pairing: Modern AU Levi Ackerman x F!Reader

TW: Nudity, swearing, suggestive content, age gap (reader is 20, Levi is 30), dick jokes, reader is thirsty and lewds Levi hard, perhaps poorly written stuff about art and drawing because I literally know nothing haha

(minors please do not interact, just to be safe)

Link to A03 here

A/N: Hello all! This is my entry for @ghost-party’s Meet Cute Collab with my darling husband Levi. I’ve never written for him before so I was a little nervous haha, I hope I did him justice! Thank you to everyone who reads, likes, comments, and reblogs- you are all wonderful and I appreciate your support! I hope you enjoy, my sweet potatoes!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Morning,” Jean greets you with a crooked smile and a steaming cup of coffee. It’s the good stuff from the café by his apartment, your favourite thing to help your brain shift into creative mode. “You’re later than usual.”

You grab the cup from him, sighing as you feel the warmth bleed into your hands. “Overslept. Barely had time to get dressed and brush my teeth.”

Jean’s eyes rove over you as you sink into your chair, humming to yourself as you sip on your drink. “I can see. Do you know you’re wearing two different shoes? And I think your sweater is on inside out. Why do you still even have that ugly thing anyways?”

“Thank you for your comments,” you roll your eyes. “I know I look like a hot mess and I don’t need any words from you, Mr. I Asked The Nude Model Out And Got Shot Down.”

Jean’s ears turn red, and he shoots you a dirty look before busying himself with arranging his pencils. “Shut up.”

You snicker to yourself as you set up your own area. Last week’s model had been a soft, pretty brunette that had instantly made Jean all starry-eyed, like a teenage boy with his first crush. It was generally considered a bit taboo to ask out the nude models, but he’d thrown that aside and gone for the kill after she’d slid back into her clothes. She’d laughed and patted his cheek like he was a naughty child asking for candy before dinner. Then proceeded to walk out and climb onto the back of her boyfriend’s motorcycle (but not before making out with said boyfriend for a good 5 minutes, minimum).

Jean had been left with red cheeks and no date, and you’d been left with great blackmail material.

“I wonder who will be our victim today,” you decide to take mercy on your poor friend and change the subject. “Most likely a guy, since we had a woman last week.”

“We’ll know in about 5 minutes,” Jean looks up at the clock on the wall. “Old Cueball is never late.”

Sure enough, in exactly 5 minutes your very bald and very punctual professor casually strolls through the door. A short man in a green coat is following him, presumably your newest subject. You crane your neck, trying to get a better look at his face, but all you can see is dark hair falling like a curtain over pale skin.

“Good morning class,” Professor Pyxis greets you, tossing his briefcase down on his desk with his usual nonchalant air. “I see you are all ready, so let’s get right to it.” He gestures to the person beside him. “This is Mr. Levi Ackerman. He’s your model for the week.”

The class murmurs in curiosity as the mentioned Levi Ackerman turns to face the room.

You swear your heart actually skips a beat.

Steel gray eyes observe the room from a face that practically begs to be immortalized through art. Every line is hard and strong, covered in clear skin that looks like it would slide under your fingers like the smoothest silk. Your eyes drink in his features greedily, from the regal bridge of his nose to the proud edge of his jaw. You decide your favorite thing though, is his cheeks. They are utterly cherubic, round and full and dusted ever so lightly with the lightest shade of pink.

He’s possibly the prettiest man you have ever seen.

“Hey, I know him,” Jean whispers, cutting off your entranced thoughts. “That’s Mikasa’s distant cousin, the one I told you she found on Ancestry.com last year. I’ve met him once, he’s got a stick so far up his butt, he’d need surgery to remove it. Never would have pegged him for the type to do this sort of thing.”

You vaguely remember a previous conversation involving Jean’s childhood friend and some long lost relatives.

“He doesn’t look that uptight,” you muse, too busy admiring the way his lips glint temptingly under the fluorescents to really process Jean’s words. “He’s beautiful, like something out of a Renaissance painting.”

Jean opens his mouth to reply, but Pyxis begins to speak.

“As usual, draw whichever side of him is facing you, all angles will be graded equally,” your professor plops himself down in his chair, already scrolling through his phone to find the playlist for the day. “Completed drawings to be submitted to me by the end of class on Friday. Please remember be respectful and courteous to our guest. Mr. Ackerman, whenever you’re ready.”

The man nods to your professor, already slipping out of his coat as he steps up onto the platform in the center of the room. You watch, mesmerized, as he proceeds to shed himself of his clothes. It’s rigid and methodical (he folds his clothes like he’s worked his whole life in a department store), but somehow oddly endearing. Every inch of his body that is revealed is consumed eagerly by your shameless stare, and you sincerely hope you don’t start drooling. By the time he carefully removes his final items, you feel like you are vibrating in your seat.

Holy fucking shit, he’s built like a god. Like Michelangelo himself carved him out of a block of the most pristine marble. You trace your gaze down the column of his throat, over the strong shoulders and sinewy arms, the impressive set of abs, the thighs that look like they could crush your head and you’d be nothing but happy about it. It takes a minute before you’re able to make yourself look between his thighs, and when you finally do, you have to looks away immediately. Good grief, even that is stupidly handsome. You can’t help but wonder if it would feel as nice as it looks.

Your face heats from your lewd thoughts, and you grip your pencil so hard it almost snaps. Beside you, Jean snickers.

“You okay over there? It looks like you’re about to explode.”

“Can it,” you hiss, glad that the ambient music Pyxis chose will probably keep your conversation private. “I can’t help it that I’m looking at the most gorgeous dick attached to the most gorgeous man I think I’ve ever seen.”

“You haven’t seen mine.”

“I don’t own a microscope.”

“Ooooh, see if I buy you coffee tomorrow, bitch.”

You stick your tongue out at him before turning back to your easel. As you move, you catch the gaze of Levi, his expression unreadable. Warmth creeps up the back of you neck, and you duck behind your sketchpad in embarrassment. You seriously hope he didn’t hear you, he’d probably report you to Pyxis for being creepy. You decide to lock all your stupid horny thoughts deep within the recesses of your mind, and take a few deep breaths to clear your head.

It works, and as you touch pencil to paper, the desire to create overflows inside of you.

Unsurprisingly, you become utterly engrossed in your work, your pencil sweeping over the pad with almost a mind of it’s own. Levi is the perfect model; you swear he’s not even breathing as he majestically hold his pose without even a quiver. The contours of his body spring to life on the page, and you can’t stop the joyful smile that blooms on your lips as you work. It’s times like these, when everything is so perfect, that you truly realize just how much you love making art.

Before you know it, Pyxis announces class is over, and you’ll resume with Levi tomorrow. The man of the hour begins to re-dress as your fellow classmates pack up their supplies and file out. You absent mindedly wave to Jean, who is practically sprinting out the door so he can make his next class all the way across campus. You’re still engrossed in your drawing, staring at it with critical eyes. It good, one of the best starts you’ve had all year, but now that the high of creating has worn off, you can see where you need to improve.

“You’re very good.”

You gasp and jump, whirling around to find Levi standing behind you, eyes fixed on your sketch. How did he even get there? You hadn’t seen him or heard him.

“Oh, uh, Mr Ackerman!” You squeak, your heart racing like you’ve just run a marathon.  “T-that’s very nice, I mean, thank- thank you very much!”

“It’s Levi,” your muse says, seemingly unbothered by your stammering. “Yours is going to be the best one here.”

You blink stupidly at his bold statement. “Did you look at all of them?”

“No,” Levi’s voice is firm, a tone that brokers no argument. “But you had the most joy on your face while you worked. That much passion doesn’t churn out stuff that looks like shit.”

“Oh, that’s only because you are such a great model,” you gush, insides turning warm at his praise. “You stayed so still and you looked so damn regal and you’re just so pretty and-” Your eyes go wide as you realize the absolute words vomit leaving your mouth, mortification slithering up your spine.

“I’m pretty?” Levi raises an eyebrow. “You think I’m pretty?”

“No!” You shout, and the man’s other eyebrow joins the first. “No wait, yes! I mean, fuck, I mean you are probably the most handsome man I’ve ever seen!”

Levi’s eyebrows have now practically become one with his hairline. You wring your hands, wishing the floor would just open up and swallow you. “I-well- come on, people must tell you how good looking you are! I can’t be the first.”

“No, but you certainly are the most enthusiastic about it,” Levi deadpans.

Oh, someone just put you out of your misery now.

“I’m sorry,” you offer, cringing internally at your complete ineptitude to hold a conversation with an attractive man. “I....get carried away sometimes.”

“It’s fine,” Levi’s stoic expression softens just a little. “It’s kind of nice to hear, actually. Usually I’m told I’m good looking, but ‘far too short’.”

“That’s bullshit.” you say vehemently, honestly shocked people would deny this man his godhood over something as trivial as height. “Who cares if you’re shorter? It doesn’t detract from you. What’s that phrase again? Good things come in small packages? Well, not that you’re small, I’m not saying that, I just meant-”

“Yes, you did seem to find my package....good,” Levi interrupts, and you swear you see the corners of his lips twitch upwards.

Your eyes widen in horror as your brain replays your hushed conversation with Jean. “You heard that?!”

“I’m told I have exceptionally good hearing.”

“Oh fuck me,” you groan, burying your face in your hands. “I am literally so, so, sorry. That was completely out of line. I have no excuse other than it’s clearly been too long since I’ve gotten some, but that’s no reason to make you uncomfortable. Please, if there’s anything I can do to to make it up to you, I’ll do it!”

“Have tea with me.””

Your head shoots up, surprise coloring your features. “What?”

“Tch, you heard me,” Levi tuts, reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out his phone. “I haven’t got free time till Saturday-stupid Shitty Glasses wanting to trade shifts-but if you want to go out, give me your number and we can work out the details.”

You stare at him with your mouth open, unsure if this is really happening or you’re vividly daydreaming again.

“Umm, are you sure?” You ask, wondering if you should pinch yourself to see if you are indeed imagining things. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m wearing two different shoes and my sweater is inside out. Believe me when I say these sorts of fashion statements happen more often than not. Plus, I practically salivated over you like some sort of horny middle aged suburban housewife who hasn’t been laid in years.” You pause to take a breath, once again unable to stop the words from spewing forth like a fountain. “And I’m so awkward! I mean, are you comfortable in this conversation? And I can’t stop talking once I’ve gotten going, and I say the weirdest shit, and, and-”

“I like you,” he says simply, as if he’s just declared something as obvious as 1+1=2. “I couldn’t give a flying fuck about all the stuff you just said, you’re just... you, and I like it. So, do you want to go on a date or not?”

“O-oh,” you suddenly feel shy, your tummy filling with butterflies at the look of sincerity on his handsome face. You’d never met anyone quite like Levi Ackerman before, and you weren’t about to pass up the opportunity to get to know the man behind the drool-worthy muscles.  “Uh, yes, please, I would like that. Very much.”

An almost relieved expression crosses Levi’s face, and he hands you his phone to type in your number. You notice the time as you do so, and sigh sadly as you hand him his device back.

“Well I better go,” you say reluctantly, suddenly fervently wishing it was Saturday already. “I’ve got another class in 15 minutes.”

“I’ll walk you there,” Levi says briskly, slipping his phone back into his coat. “To make sure you get there safely. Someone might murder you on account of their eyes being assaulted by that garish sweater. ” The corners of his lips twitch upwards once again, and you grow warm all over, from both his gentle teasing and the knowledge he isn’t quite ready to say goodbye yet either.

“Excuse me, I thought you said you didn’t give a ‘flying fuck’ about my attire,” you huff, but you’re grinning as you quickly pack up your bag.

“I don’t care it’s inside out, but you have to know that is the ugliest fucking color know to man,” Levi says, holding out his hand. Your brain malfunctions slightly for a moment, until you realize he’s offering to carry your bag for you. The butterflies inside you whip themselves into a frenzy as you pass him your stuff, your hand just grazing over his. Handsome, funny, honest, and sweet? How is this guy even real?

“I’ll have you know, this sweater is an absolute delight. When it’s inside right,” you stick up your nose, but unable to stop he laugh that slips past your lips.

Levi rolls his eyes in an almost playful manner. “Doubtful .”

You’re not sure where it comes from, but a sudden rush of confidence fills you. “If you’re so offended by it, maybe you should just rip it off of me.”

The tips of Levi’s ears turn a delightful shade of pink. You’re sure your own skin is hot enough to cook an egg on.

“Wear it Saturday then,” Levi’s ears may be flushed, but his eyes flash with something that makes your spine tingle. The insinuation of his words has your gut clenching and your mind whispering fervent prayers to please please please make Saturday get here faster, I don’t ask for much, please!

“Only if you wear your modeling outfit,” you manage to say, trying your best to sound coy when you feel like you might combust into a pile of lust and giddiness. “I’ve never seen someone wear it so well, and I want a closer look.”

If possible, Levi’s eyes grow even darker, and you just know Saturday is going to be one of the best damn days of your entire life.

“Deal.”

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Taglist: @clovertitan @millenialfanfictionaddiction @stigandr-the-cat @axoxtxhxh @bowandcurtsey​ @chaotic-nick​ @manjiroarchiviste​

#meet cute collab #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman fic #levi ackerman imagine #levi x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin x reader

[luminari-mc]

My Human, My Sunshine - Part 1

Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort.

Pairing: GN!MC x Mammon

Word count: 5194

Summary: Mammon finds himself lost in the human world. Meanwhile, MC can't get ahold of Solomon, their phone dead silent.

Warnings: N/A

A/N: My first writing piece for Obey Me! It's kind of a long one so I recommend you grab a snack or two during it. While this part is occupied by a good amount of text messages between Mammon and someone else, I'm already thinking of writing a part 2 which will have way more dialogue. In the meantime, please enjoy this little scenario I came up with after listening to a song that set me in an angsty mood. :)

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Wet. Cold. Exhausted. And completely lost.

Mammon felt all of those, and yet, his legs kept on marching into the dead of night, his jacket covering his head despite being too drenched to protect him from the rain anymore. Each time a droplet of water came rolling on his cheek, his wrist would come to brush it off, and Mammon would let out an annoyed groan. If only there were any shops open, but the city was definitely asleep. He was thankful for the crashing sound of the rain on the ground around him, along with the smell of the wet asphalt keeping himself awake, otherwise, he surely would have gone crazy by now. The demon had even lost count of how many hours he had been wandering through the streets, how many mailboxes he had checked, how few passersby he had come across, only to receive negative answers to his questions.

And so Mammon kept on walking, not sure where to go next. But he felt sure of one thing: he wouldn't stop moving until he had found what he was looking for. Be there rain, or no rain. Lost or not.

"Tch, the human world's weather really sucks..."

As he walked on the pavement, his brow furrowed from the lack of new clues as to where his destination was supposed to be. His eyes caught sight of a bakery he had already walked by earlier during the day, its gentle light piercing the darkness that had been accompanying him for far too long now. Mammon's brow furrowed slightly at the sight- he knew he had gone in circles time and time again, but seeing it confirmed once more rubbed him the wrong way. Despite that, he decided to walk towards it, and took shelter under the entrance's porch. Surely the owners wouldn't mind him checking his phone for a few minutes, right? Right.

Pinching between his fingers the precious D.D.D. he had tucked under his shirt to protect it from the rain, Mammon looked at the map again. His stomach dropped for the upteenth time upon seeing the address still showing in his search bar, the letters and numbers taunting him. A knot formed in his throat as he tried his best not to scream at his screen.

"It wasn't there, you idiot..."

His mouth formed into an angry pout. Mammon looked into the list of potential addresses he had made throughout the day, and all had been crossed out. He felt his jaw clench- not only was he left with no addresses, no other clues, no humans to help him, but also that stupid rain surely would keep on falling for the rest of the night.

He was truly cursed.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do now?!" Mammon groaned, his free hand reaching upward to grab at his hair in frustration.

Yes... that was a good question. What was he supposed to do? It wasn't like he could ask help from any of his brothers, or from the angels. It had already been a miracle a witch he knew accepted to snuck him into the human world without anyone knowing, but there was no way he'd get any more help from her without offering his own life in exchange. And contacting Solomon was absolutely out of the question, for his own obvious reasons that he still was suspicious of the guy.

For the longest time in a while, Mammon felt alone. More alone than he had ever been before. He had promised himself to go on this search on his own, stupidly thinking that it'd be over by the end of the day, and look where that got him. Lost in the human world, on the verge of catching some nasty human virus from all this rain that had poured on him, and without anyone by his side.

The grip on his phone tightened, the hand holding it shaking slightly as the anger was starting to consume the demon. Even Mammon's patience had its limits, and he was starting to reach it.

"Dammit, where the hell are ya-"

A pathetic yelp escaped his mouth as he looked in fear at his phone, which had buzzed for a very short second in his palm. Wait, was it a notification? But from who? He had taken all the necessary precautions before leaving, so who was still able to reach his number?

His mind ran through all possibilities as he quickly checked his screen, the name of the sender making him open his eyes wide.

Leviathan: Mammon!!

Leviathan: Where are you???

Leviathan: You promised me you'd play this new game with me after coming home from RAD, don't tell me you forgot?? It's been HOURS.

Leviathan: Also the others say they can't reach your DDD and Lucifer is seriously pissed!

Leviathan: And I know you didn't break your DDD, that wouldn't explain why I can send texts now and the others still can't. Even though mine didn't work before.

Leviathan: But do you know how much time and effort it took me to find a way to bypass a blocked number?? Well guess what, the same amount of hours since you broke your promise!

Leviathan: You're reading this, right? Then send something! Anything!

Mammon backed even more into the porch of the shop, his eyes stuck to the screen of his phone. All of the blood rushing to his head suddenly made him forget he was cold in the first place. Of course Levi would be the first to find a way to contact him.

The demon's chest rose as he breathed in heavily, his hands slowly wrapping around the phone. It took him a hot minute to get ahold of his trembling fingers so as to not make any typos, his mind debating whether responding was a good idea or not, even as he hit the send button.

Mammon: Sorry Levi, gonna have to postpone the gaming session.

Mammon: I got business elsewhere and I'm not sure when I'll come back home, if ever.

Leviathan: Ew stop sounding so gloomy, you're almost starting to sound like me and tbh it would be kinda creepy.

Leviathan: That still doesn't tell me where you are! I know it's like a common thing for you to get into shady stuff on a regular basis but even Lucifer seems concerned, and weirdly enough he's not even trying to hide it???

Leviathan: He's been pacing back and forth in the common room for 20 minutes and won't let go of his phone it's starting to creep me out.

Leviathan: Hey huh, if you really were in big trouble you'd let us know, right? Like, even by typing a secret message to let us know that you got kidnapped or whatever?

Leviathan: Nevermind, I really don't see why you'd even get kidnapped, so it HAS to be that you chose to disappear by yourself.

Leviathan: But anyway! It's been 2 months now since everyone's been acting weird and I've seen and heard you enough to CLEARLY see that you're getting worse but finding trouble with witches or whatever won't help you feel better. And yes I know you've been faking being fine the entire time!! Don't think you can fool me!!

Leviathan: Believe me and the hundreds of figurines I bought!! I thought they'd help and it's somehow doing nothing, I feel like the worst fraud of an otaku EVER!!! How can I call myself an otaku when I can't even find joy anymore in the things that make an otaku what he is??

Leviathan: It's like I'm losing my identity! Wait no screw that, it's not just me, we've all been losing it!!

The three dots of a message being typed disappeared and reappeared, and Mammon couldn't do anything but watch the messages of his brother pop up one after another on his screen. A sense of guilt surfaced inside of him, and it only made him frown. It's not as if he hadn't thought about asking Levi for help, before getting himself into this mess... but for both of their sakes, he had decided that it had to be him coming here, and only him.

But suddenly, just as he expected his brother to send another message, the three dots disappeared, and didn't come back right away. Mammon's focus on his phone increased at the unexplained absence of new texts from Levi, and he waited, expecting him to continue the chain of messages he had started. But nothing followed.

It wasn't in Levi's habits to suddenly stop texting in the middle of a flood of texts. The demon gripped his phone tighter, worry beginning to grow within his mind. Was it because they were in different worlds that their phones couldn't reach properly? Or worse- had Lucifer found him out?

His heart almost skipped a beat as the three dots reappeared under his eyes, before letting another message pop up.

Leviathan: wait

Leviathan: waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait

Leviathan: OMG NO WAY

Leviathan: MAMMON TELL ME YOU'RE KIDDING

Mammon: I literally haven't said anything?

Leviathan: YOU PERFECTLY KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT

Leviathan: DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE IN THE HUMAN WORLD RN??

Shit.

How did he even find out?! Well... he could only assume that it wouldn't take a genius to figure out where Mammon could have gone if not anywhere in the Devildom, but still, why did Levi have to type it out? His plan was supposed to be flawless after all.

Mammon: Sorry bro, I can't say where I am.

Mammon: I know Lucifer's bound to check all of your DDDs sooner or later and that's only gonna help him find me.

Mammon: And like I said, I have something to do, so I can't come back.

Leviathan: Wait! I'll delete all of our messages, and I'll even destroy my DDD if it means you tell me why you're there

Leviathan: Actually no don't even answer, there can only be one reason you took that kind of risk

Leviathan: Is it... because of MC?

Upon reading their name again, Mammon felt his stomach sink. The eyes of the Avatar of Greed closed almost instantly as if to avoid reading it, the damp air whistling through his teeth as he breathed in deeply. Of course Levi would figure that out too. Any of his brothers could have.

The demon leaned his head against the wall behind him, his eyes opening and staring into nothing as he contemplated telling Levi about his plan. It wasn't as if he had any backup plans considering the situation he was in, after all. And Levi had the advantage of being at home, and having access to technology and magic that could improve his search further. But the thought of Lucifer figuring everything out still haunted him, making the hair on his skin stand straight.

And yet... At this point, he had nothing else to lose.

Mammon: Ya gotta promise not to tell anyone about this.

Leviathan: Who do you take me for? I'm not a snitch!

Leviathan: Especially if it's about MC.

Leviathan: But huh... what about Lucifer? You know that if when he finds out you went to the human world, he's going to kill you.

Mammon: Fuck Lucifer.

Mammon: I'm tired of hearin' him say he's "taking care of it". He clearly knows something but won't tell any of us and I'm tired of not getting any news from MC since they left the Devildom 2 months ago.

Mammon: And what's with his excuse about them not havin' their DDD anymore to contact us? I call that a load of bullshit.

Mammon: Something weird happened and Lucifer's too stuck-up to let us know what it is.

Mammon: So I'm done waiting around to see when they'll come back, or IF they'll even come back. So I'm going to get them myself.

Mammon: Problem is, I went to MC's place, and they weren't there. Their neighbor told me that they moved out a while ago with, get this, "a guy with white hair".

Leviathan: ??????? Solomon?????

Mammon: I'd bet my Demonio and all the things I possess that it's him.

Mammon: Not only Lucifer's in on this secret thing about MC, but Solomon too. I've already booked him an appointment with my fists if he did anythin' to them.

Mammon: Hell, even Diavolo and Barbatos seem to be in it too, which sucks even bigger time.

Mammon: So that means it's just us 6 who don't know shit. I wasn't about to play nice and dumb for Lucifer any longer.

Leviathan: Mammon

Leviathan: I never thought I'd ever write something like that to YOU

Leviathan: but

Leviathan: you sound super cool rn!! That just makes me wish I could have gone too!!

Leviathan: Pleasepleaseplease let me help!!! I'm also worried about MC and I miss having them here. The atmosphere at the house has sucked ever since we realized we couldn't text or call them anymore and I huh... kinda miss seeing them around the others too.

For a split second, Mammon considered taking a screenshot of Levi's last message to sell it as "the proof that the Avatar of Envy can control his jealousy!", but now wasn't the time for that. He had Levi's approval for helping him find the whereabouts of MC, and that's all he needed at the moment. He hadn't even noticed his lips turning into a small grin upon reading his brother offering his support.

Mammon: Alright Levi listen.

Mammon: All I'm tryin' right now is to find where MC might be.

Mammon: I don't think they left the place I'm at, but I ain't about to search at every damn house there is here. Would take too much time anyway.

Mammon: So can ya use your shut-in powers and figure somethin' out? Like I don't know, catch their human phone's signal or whatever through hacking?

Leviathan: Lol? I'll let you know it's not because I spend my entire days in my room that I know how to find a human phone!

Leviathan: I know how to hack yeah, but I don't know how to hack human technology! Not that I maybe tried once or twice and it resulted in failure each time.

Leviathan: But huh... I could try?

Leviathan: Let me ask Satan if we could use magic too.

Mammon: Satan? Levi, are you stupid? Last thing we want is to get more people to know about what I'm doing.

Leviathan: Oh huh yeaaaah, about that.

Leviathan: I should have told you sooner, but when I stopped answering earlier it's because Satan caught me texting you.

Leviathan: But he actually knew you had left to the human world! So we don't have to worry! He's on our side... obviously.

Mammon: Then the two of you get on it.

Mammon: And don't catch Lucifer's attention.

Leviathan: Yeah!

Leviathan: I'll let you know when we've found something.

Leviathan: BRB!

And then just like earlier, Levi's texts stopped appearing on his screen. A sigh left Mammon's lips as he closed his eyes, and the demon allowed his body to slide against the wall behind him until he was sitting on the ground. As he stretched out his sore body, the second-born finally realized that after two whole months of not getting to hear MC's voice, seeing their smile, getting to touch them... he had gotten closer to finding them, all thanks to his brothers. He had let Lucifer's intimidation get the best of him throughout all this time, but not anymore. No matter whether his older brother would catch wind of where he was, and what he was doing, Mammon would never stop trying to bring back MC where they belonged. With him, in the Devildom, back with the family they had found and grown to love.

Closing the messaging app with his thumb, the picture of MC he had set as his D.D.D. background seemed to radiate like the sun. How dared them all try to separate his human from their first man? From the one who'd they come to whenever they had a nightmare and couldn't fall asleep? The demon who'd hug them as tight as possible in their bed after a long day at RAD? The one who'd had the chance to fall asleep with them, getting the absolute honor of seeing their face so close to his, and who'd protect their dreams from any bad thoughts and scary nightmares?

The anxiety that Mammon had worn on his face all day slowly disappeared, and a small smile was placed upon it instead as his eyes met MC's in the picture.

"I'm almost there. Ya just gotta be patient a little more."

I'll find ya.

Time went on as Mammon waited for any news of Levi and Satan's research. The rain showed no sign of clearing soon, and the demon was starting to doze off after spending his entire day without taking a single break. He could have almost fallen asleep if it hadn't been for the owner of the bakery opening the door to close his shop and asking him to sit somewhere else. So Mammon moved from one spot to another, and took shelter near another store instead.

After what seemed like an eternity of waiting on the stone steps he had sat on, his phone's screen flashed a bright light as a new notification from Levi appeared from the top. Quickly passing his wrist on his tired eyes, Mammon tapped on the new message at the speed of light. The contents made him gasp, and for a second, he had almost forgotten how to breathe, as his now wide-open eyes were glued on the content of the message.

A full-on address, along with a picture of the place.

Mammon instantly stood up at the sight of the picture, the memories of his day resurfacing in a flash. He remembered very clearly seeing this particular building sometime during his search- its height had been making it stand out very easily amongst the other buildings in the city. Nobody couldn't mistake it with anything else.

Mammon: This is it?

Leviathan: Yeah, we placed down a map and confirmed it was there.

Leviathan: Satan actually found a book in his room with a spell that can help find a person's specific item with just some of their DNA.

Leviathan: So we went to MC's room and found some hair that Satan used for the spell, along with his phone so it could narrow down the list of MC's items.

Leviathan: I didn't think Satan's room could look even more of a mess, but he spent 10 minutes shoveling through his collection and now you can't even see the floor or his bed anymore lol

Leviathan: Anyway now that you got what you wanted, go and check if MC is there!

Mammon felt his legs move on their own as he flipped his jacket above his head and stepped under the rain again, a confident grin now brightly adorning his face as he typed on his phone to reply.

Mammon: Thanks Levi. I'll owe ya one.

Leviathan: Find MC and bring them back. Then you can consider us even.

Mammon nodded, a newfound hope filling his entire body and mind. After confirming that Levi had ceased texting him, the demon turned the phone off. He opened his hand to drop it on the wet floor, and let his right foot crash down upon it, the object almost breaking in half. Mammon promptly gathered in his hand the shattered item, now completely unusable, and threw it down a nearby sewer before letting his excitement take the best of him and sprint further in the direction of the building from the picture. At least, now Lucifer wouldn't be able to track him down with it if Levi and Satan got caught.

The more distance he covered, the more Mammon could swear he was about to take on his demon form at any moment. The thoughts of MC began to fill his head even more, as if they were the one pushing him to find them, to get to them as soon as possible. For the first time in 2 months, Mammon felt truly alive.

"Almost there. The Great Mammon's coming for ya, MC!!" he let out in the form of an encouragement to himself, his legs having found their energy again as his form was engulfed further into the city.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Anxiously pacing around the room, their head low and their phone in their hands, MC was growing more and more impatient. They were supposed to receive an update from Solomon about three hours earlier in the form of a phone call, but no matter the amount of messages they'd spent in the hopes of the wizard finally answering them, all they received was a dreadful silence. Grabbing a nearby chair, they let their body fall onto the seat as their fingers typed yet another message. They couldn't really understand how they had come to grow so persistent when it came to getting Solomon to reply to them, but having no other person to talk to ever since they left the Devildom 2 months prior would do that to anyone, they assumed.

'Solomon, sorry, I know I'm sending a lot of texts, but you said you'd visit today and I'm starting to be worried and... honestly a bit lonely. I thought going out today would help, but I just sat in the park for an hour before going back home and not doing much of the day.'

'You were supposed to meet with other wizards today, right? I hope nothing bad happened. But in case you're alright, all I'm asking is just one reply to at least get some sort of human connection. Not that I had a lot of it in the past few months.'

They felt their throat tighten upon writing their last sentence, feeling the frustration spilling out of their own words right back into their face. But who could blame them?

2 months without seeing, hearing, or even texting their friends back in the Devildom. 2 months without receiving a single visit from Luke or Simeon. 2 months spent exclusively with the company of Solomon, who had been acting strange ever since and had made them move out of their home under the excuse that it was to "train them at magic in a more private setting". But more importantly... those had been 2 months without having Mammon around, and MC would lie if they said they hadn't spent several nights crying themself to sleep, wondering how the demon was dealing with their absence.

The memories of their latest departure from the Devildom played in their head like a movie as they placed a hand on their forehead. Everything had seemed alright at the time, with them getting to say their usual goodbyes to the brothers, wishing to see them again once the new year at RAD would start, foolishly thinking that they'd get to spend their time hearing their voices on a daily basis once they were back in the human world. And before they could understand, their DDD had been taken from them, Solomon had been more present in their life than ever before, and for a reason they still couldn't grasp, it was as if the brothers had vanished from their life completely. No news whatsoever. Complete radio silence.

Just thinking back to this period, and how they could have probably caught that something was up as soon as Diavolo asked for their DDD after the brothers had left... it just made them want to puke.

But nothing could make them want to do so as much as the long-awaited reply of Solomon appearing on their screen.

'Hi MC. I'm deeply sorry I couldn't get ahold of you throughout the day. I won't be able to visit you today, since my services are still required here. Besides, it's getting late. I recommend you go have a good night's sleep as soon as possible.'

'If everything goes smoothly, I should be able to come back tomorrow. Then, we'll be able to go walk wherever you want. How does that sound?'

'I need to be going, but I shall wish you a good night. Take care, MC.'

And just as quickly as he had answered, Solomon went silent again. Leaving them in this apartment they had grown to hate, this prison cell he had put them in. A place where no fun could be found for them. MC didn't even bother sending anything else after that.

Their head sunk even lower, until their forehead slowly met with the hard surface of the dinner table. The phone faceplanted onto the wood as MC's hands turned into hard fists, a deep groan shaking the walls of their throat. It was hard not to let the tears escape their eyes, but instead, they opted to punch the table several times as hard as they could, until they felt their anger diminish.

How long was Solomon going to act ignorant towards them? How long was he going to ignore their pleas to get news from the Devildom, anything that would let them know why they couldn't contact the brothers, Diavolo and Barbatos? Even if the lords had been in some sort of trouble... they'd still find time to talk to their human, right? There was no way Mammon, the one they loved, wouldn't try to reach them one way or another... right?

Him who had been so clingy in such an adorable way every time they'd be at the House of Lamentation, he who had revealed to them that there wasn't a single day where his thoughts wouldn't drift to them no matter how hard he tried...

No. No amount of important duties would explain why Mammon of all demons, would ignore them like that.

They missed his antics. His entire being. The warmth he'd bring them each time he'd hold their hand before tucking his face into their neck like a pouting child, desperately trying to sneak one or two kisses in there, in the hopes he'd get to hear that sweet giggle of them. It wasn't for nothing that Lucifer had come to name them the chaotic duo of the House of Lamentation. They were two parts of a whole.

And yet, the world had dared to separate them. And MC was tired, oh so tired of not having their other half near them. The only feeling they had left, was one of pure desperation to see their greedy demon.

"I'm not asking for much... even a single word would do." MC replied to no one as they turned their head to rest their cheek onto the table. They closed their eyes, the anger slowly being replaced by a profound exhaustion. Could they really do nothing but act normal around Solomon, and accept that this was now their new life? No demons, no angels, just... humans around them?

Before they could slap the thought away, a loud banging coming from the entrance door made them straighten in their seat, their head turning towards the hallway in a panic. Their heart pounded inside their chest as the banging seemed to go on forever, until they used the back of their chair to push themself up, their legs shaking.

"S...Solomon?" They asked, way too silently for anyone to hear, and fully knowing that the person behind the door couldn't be the wizard.

As if they were waiting for an answer, MC stood there, their hand grasped onto the chair. The banging was insistent, demanding, angry. At this time of night, there were few reasons they could think why someone would mistreat their door in such a way, and MC wasn't sure they wanted to find the reason for it.

That is, until the person behind the door finally let their voice be heard.

"Oi, MC! Ya can hear me right?! Come on, open the door!"

It didn't take long for MC to let the familiar voice enter their ears, and it took less time for them to nearly stumble over the chair as their legs moved in a hurry to lead them towards the door as quickly as possible. Their hands messily trying to open the locks on the door, they were sure their mind had just played a trick on them, and the person outside was going to leave them completely disappointed, but they didn't care. This voice they could only remember so well despite the time since they had last heard it, was simply inviting them to open the door, to check for themselves whether it was true, or just a nasty joke played by their brain.

But as the last lock was undone, and the door was swung open, MC couldn't do anything but just stand there, their mouth agape.

Mammon kept on drawing breaths, his wet hair stuck to his forehead and drops of rain falling from his clothes onto the floor below, so much so that it had started to create a small puddle underneath him. As if the person who opened the door wasn't the one he expected, the demon took a step back, letting his eyes wander up and down on the human he had in front of him, almost in an attempt to check if it was really them. He too, couldn't stop his mouth from hanging open at the sight.

The two of them just stood there for a few seconds, taken by so many emotions at once that they weren't sure what to do. But right as Mammon took a step forward, his mouth opening some more to let out words that he so desperately had wanted to say for so long now, MC's face contorted into one of pure sadness before they rushed towards him. Mammon greedily welcomed them into his arms as they jumped and wrapped their arms around his shoulders, and their legs around his waist. They buried their face into his neck, the warmth of their tears mixing with the rain on his skin.

His embrace only tightened even more as they mumbled his name amidst broken sobs, the sound ever so close to his ear that even though he had his eyes firmly closed, he might have cried on the spot too. But he had found them. He had them in his arms again. After what had seemed like a million years, finally, they were back where they belonged, and he was back with his human.

Almost as if they were about to be pulled away from him, Mammon placed a hand on the back of their head, wanting to protect their entire being from harm no matter the cost. He still wasn't sure why it had taken so long for him to reunite with them despite the obstacles, but at the present moment, nothing else could matter.

The lord had finally found them, and he wasn't about to let anyone interfer between their happiness once more.

"I ain't letting you go." He whispered through gritted teeth, his head lowering into their shoulder. "Ever again."

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me mc #obey me mammon #obey me writing #obey me angst #obey me solomon #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #beel #mc x mammon #obey me barbatos #obey me diavolo #obey me swd #shall we date obey me #obey me fanfic #obey me fandom #obey me one master to rule them all #om mammon #obey me levi #om levi #om lucifer #om swd #om shall we date #obey me scenarios #obey me fic #om satan #vel's writing #mhms

[laketaj24]

Serotonin II

Author’s Note: Here it is! I am taking requests, and the taglist is open, drop your name under this fic or on this list if you are interested! This does have a prior part but can be read as a standalone.

Pairing: Colson Baker x Reader

Warning: Smut, breeding kink

Inspo Song: Bad Things

Part I

My MASTERLIST

Colson: Busy?

Y/N: Why would I be busy?

Colson: For sure ain’t been answering my texts 🥱

Y/N: You need something, Col?

Colson: You know you only call me Col when you’re half asleep or whimpering my name when you about to cum. Let me come over.

Tongue-tied, his messages left you baffled. They were a smooth variation of sexting mixed with pleading. Every message included a very Colson apology but a rebuttal that followed and reminded you why you couldn’t fall back in the same routine with him. It was easy to picture yourself back with him, nestled against his lean frame - listening to his voice as it rumbled against his chest as he rambled on. You saw it clear as day, but the truth of the matter was he didn’t do what you required to have you back in his life. Fucking you in the bathroom of some club like a whore, giving your body a fix, but your heart and mind still felt that hesitation when it came to Mr. Baker.

“Are you listening?” Dana asked, holding up the soy powder milk for your nephew.

“I heard you clear as day.”

“You sure you didn’t just daydream the entire I talked about not feeding Jaylen after seven?” Dana placed the soy milk on the table and glanced down at her newborn. “If you’re not up to it, I can stay. I hate going out of town so soon after having him.” She tapped her soon on the back a few times and exhaled.

“We will be fine.”

“You say this, but I don’t believe you.”

“Why?”

“You’re head has been shot ever since you broke up with the delinquent.” She rolled her eyes. “And what pisses me off is Tyla loves him!” She whispered and turned her attention to the seven-year-old parked in front of the tv. “I mean worships him.”

“I know. Colson is good with kids.”

“Because he’s childish.” She added. “He’s basically a six variant of one.”

“You can’t say one thing nice?”

“His music isn’t shitty,” Dana added. “I will be back at eight for the both of them, and I swear not to do this again, just my boss needs me, and their dad is busy.” She lied. “So- I love you, sis. Call Eric!” Dana kissed your cheek and sprinted out the door without another word.

Eric, you hadn’t seen him since you left the club a week ago, and you barely responded to his texts. The ride home was awkward; the entire time, he talked about how much he enjoyed the night. And the only thing you could think about was getting bent over in the bathroom by your ex. Good date.

Auntie duty had started. Diapers, Tiktok, YouTube, and some weird pig cartoon lay ahead of you for the next nine hours. Jaylen slept peacefully in his playpen, unbothered by his mother's lack while Tyla consumed her tv.

Colson: I got food open the door.

Y/N: What door?

Colson: Your apartment door. It’s Chipotle.

Fuck, you were hungry.

Y/N: Leave the food on the porch.

Colson: I’m not a god damn door dash.

The abrupt knocking startled Jaylen, soo you took him in your arms and walked to the door, “Stay in the living room Tyla.”

“K,” She answered, not even looking up from her phone.

You opened the door revealing Colson in his pink hoodie and gray joggers. He held bags of food in his hand and garnished a big smile on his face, “You look good with a baby.”

“Why are you here?”

“You wouldn’t come to see me or invite me over, so invited myself over. Can I come in?”

“No.” Jaylen stirred in your arms, his plump little legs kicked, and you sighed. “I am busy today. That’s why I didn’t invite you over. I have to keep my nieces and nephews, and every time you are over here, you either curse too much or we end up fucking.”

“Watch your mouth.” He teased.

“How were you texting with all that in your hands?” You stared at him.

“You know I got talented hands.”

“Colson!”

Why? You grimaced inwardly before looking at your overly excited niece, she loved Colson, and you hated to admit, he might be an asshole sometimes, but he loved kids. He was a wonder with them. You slapped your face, disappointed there was not a way to hide the massive man at your door. “He can’t stay.” You answered before the question left your lips.

“Why? Please!” Tyla pouted her pink lips and threw her arms up in defeat. “We never see him anymore.”

“That’s your aunt’s fault,” Colson added fuel to the fire. “I won’t stay long.” He pushed through, entering your apartment to greet Tyla with a hug at her level and a sly wink to you. Kids were the way to your heart – and his, but he would not win you over with this bullshit today. Not at all. “You hungry, Tyla?”

“Yeah, ten minutes, and you’re out.”

“Damn.”

“Tiktok?’ she held up her phone and the ring light from her purple book bag. “Please.”

“Word, what are we learning?” He raised his brows to you and proceeded to make himself comfortable on the couch; she was ecstatic, immediately standing to do a dance and drag you over to learn it too. Tiktok had become the bane of your existence, but for Tyla and her half a million followers, she was golden.

One hour later and you were tired, you’d perfected the dance, and Colson had convinced her to let him skip the dancing and just be—it was all he had to do though, she’d get one million views just because of who he was, and now everyone would know you were with him. Your heart dropped a little thinking about the exposure while she edited the video next to both of you.

“Why is Uncle Colson never around?” Tyla never looked up from her phone; she just continued her mission of posting that sixty-second video and ruining your life.

“He’s not your uncle.” You corrected.

“That’s your aunt’s fault too.” He added.

“Don’t start with me.” The harsh whisper came out as a warning, waking baby Jaylen from his nap and making Colson chuckle in amusement.

“I like him; I want him in the family.”

“I want a million dollars.”

“I can give you that.” He said.

“And a loyal boyfriend who doesn’t text insta-sluts in his spare time.”

“Don’t use sluts in front of her damn; your mouth is outrageous Y/N.”

The narrowing of your eyes made him burst into laughter again. He was damn good at annoying you like he had it mastered.

The day passed quickly with him making eyes at you, caring for Jaylen while she styled Colson’s hair in four ponytails atop his head, garnished with bows, and she even attempted to give him edges. He didn’t care; as long as she was happy, he was good.

“You look a mess.”

“It’s cool.” Colson snapped a picture. “Been waiting forever to see if ponytail was for me or not; it’s a no.” He sat back on the couch while Tyla disappeared to your room for god knows what else. “You look good with babies, you know?”

“You’ve said that.”

“I meant it; you’re good with them too.” He sighed. “I thought about kids with us, like every damn day.”

“Funny.” You shrugged, and she appeared with your bright pink polish. “What’re you doing, Tyla?”

“Painting his nails.” She plopped down in front of him, and without hesitation, he held his hand out for her. “We did blue last time.”

“Yep.” He exhaled. “Don’t you want this?”

He didn’t have to elaborate; you knew what he was talking about, but a family was the last thing from your mind, no matter how perfect the scenario looked right now. “Do you?”

Colson smacked his lips. “We can talk later.”

“You leaving when they do.” You reiterated.

The door opened thirty minutes later without a knock or doorbell; Dana never announced herself. “I see he found his way back in.” Her mouth dropped as soon as her eyes met him. “Tyla just had her way today, didn’t she.” She laughed. “Oh god, she gave this man braids.”

“Your daughter is talented.” He laughed. “Might be a new look.”

“Ridiculous.” She held her laughter. “Ty, get up and come on, love; we have a long drive.” She took Jaylen from your chest and gave you a look. “How long is he staying?”

“Not long, sis, drive safe.”

“I will. Colson, you leave in ten minutes, or I’m sending our brother over.” She pointed to him.

“I’m not scared of Michael; send him.” Why did his arrogance only make you want him more? He looked to Dana, who, like him, was not bothered.

“I hate him.” She mumbled as she left. “I just fucking hate him.”

“It’s mutual!” Colson laughed as the door shut. “You’re gonna stay over there the whole time?”

“Aint no reason for me to be over there for real.” You thought of three reasons to stay where you were, the drop in his voice, the tension in this room that could be cut with a knife, and when he was alone with you, your willpower was nonexistent. “You have five minutes.”

“We aren’t going to talk about this, are we? You like being evasive and shit? That you’re new persona?”

“I have no new persona. This is me not playing into all the bullshit you bring when you’re with me. This is a wall.”

“I’m about to knock that wall over.” He smirked.

“Stay on your couch.” You warned.

Colson held his hands up, acting defenseless, “I wasn’t moving from this spot.”

“My sister hates you, you know that? She literally said that I would be better off leaving Cali before staying here with your toxic ass.” You found yourself pointing at him and wanting to knock that smile from his face. Colson liked to see you get feisty with him; he called that foreplay, and here you were dancing to the beat of his drum, pissed.

“How am I toxic? I stopped all that shit for you, every ounce of it.”

“Stop lying.”

Colson grinned at you, unwavering in his position and impressed that you were persistent in yours; your usual fights lasted about one day. You’d take him back, and everything went back to how it was before, but that changed nothing; you wanted him to change. “I am not lying to you. Come here.”

You walked over to him, taking his hand and allowing him to pull you down in his lap. Facing him, you admired all the little cuts he’d earned over the years in senseless fights or accidents. Your fingers traced over them before you cupped his face. What the fuck were you doing? Why were the two of you akin to magnets? Drawing one another in half of the time and then at the flip of a side hating one another? You placed your lips on him, parting his lips with your tongue and then flicking playfully over his teeth before he caught your bottom lip with his teeth and tugged. The slight pressure made you moan against him. He cradled your neck with one hand, not allowing you to escape him. Colson deepened the kiss, adding pressure and taking what little breath you had away. “I fucking miss you, Y/N.” He rasped.

"Don't talk.”You murmured back.

Colson didn’t listen; he never listened.  “You were good with them today.”

You growled, grinding your hips on him. “Shut up, Colson.”

“I want to talk to you, I want you back Y/N, shit. Like I am trying, I canceled recording sessions, appearances, and other shit all this month so we can figure this out. I don’t want to-,”

You stopped him from talking, gripping his cock through the sweats with one hand and kissing him to shut up.

“Stop.” In one fluid motion, your hands were by your side, and your eyes were on his, “We’re talking; I was not fucking other women. But I was entertaining them, and it’s no excuse. I know you’re hurt; I’m sorry. Like real talk, no joke – I apologize.”

“How do I know it won’t happen again?’

“I'll delete all this shit for you,” He admitted. “Fuck a platform.”

“You’re so dramatic.”

“I’m dead ass right now. Fuck it all. I just want you.”

“If it happens again, I am never taking you back, ever.”

“It won’t.” He whispered, loosening the grip on your hands.

You took advantage of the notion, moving your hand down to his cock, rubbing the hilt through his sweats again.

“Nah,” He gripped your hair, pulling you back, so your eyes met him. “It’s my turn now.” He pushed aside your shorts in seconds, and his fingers plunged into your pussy, curling for a moment and then spinning out of you. He placed his fingers on your lips, “Open up.” You didn’t hesitate to take his fingers, licking your own juices from them, and he tapped your face sending a slight pleasurable sting. “How you taste?”

“Ready.” You pulled him from the sweats feeling him jump at your cool hands, and stood up, wriggling out of the shorts before hovering back over him again.

Colson playfully tosses you on your couch, draping one leg to the ground. “Let me taste.” He whispered as he descended between your legs. Colson’s fingers brushed your swollen clit, before his lips latched on, sucking. You bowed from the couch, the moans and scratched to his shoulders done nothing but encourage. He lapped up your juices before diving his tongue into you and swirling around. You gasped, surprised and pleased as he worked.

“Col-“ You gripped his shoulders, lifting yourself from laying down, and he took full advantage, pulling you onto his face and fucking you with his tongue. Your body coiled, the jolts of pleasure popped around your body, and then you came. The white-hot energy surged through your body, and you panted, shaking, almost collapsing back on the couch. He caught you peppering the wet kisses from your pussy to your mouth.

“You good?”

“Better than.” You whispered, breathing heavily. “ Shit.”

“We’re not done.” Of course, you weren’t; his cock throbbed against his leg, waiting to ruin your life, and here you were still out of breath. Colson gently pulled you from the couch, sitting you in his lap, and he started once again with the kisses. You could taste yourself on his lips, and for some reason, that just made you wetter for him. He took advantage of stroking himself before he lowered you down on him. You took every inch, mouth slightly open and hair swinging the entire time. You pressed your breast against his chest, savoring the warm feeling of his cock inside of you, and then you started moving on him. Your muscles clenched around, gripping him with each stroke. Your clit rubbed against his pelvic bone; you took that added pleasure in stride biting your lip as it intensified every time your skin met.

Colson’s eyes were hooked on you, his fingers dug in your ass, guiding you up and down on his cock, urging you to keep going, and there was no way in hell you were going to stop. You could feel it building once again, this time bigger. “Hold it.” He whispered, knowing you were about once more. “Not yet.”

“Ah,” Impatience grew over you; you slowed your ride, winding your hips slowly, your eyes closed as you took over, fucking up into you, guiding your body to take more. “I can’t.” You whined as you fought to hold the orgasm back.

“Yeah, you can.” He slammed into you harder, knocking the breath from you, your toes curled, and you screamed as you shook against him. “I wanna feel that pussy shake around me when I cum; hold it.” He slapped your clit with three fingers, and your breath hitched. “Hold it.” His hand travels up your shirt to your bare stomach, and he kisses you once more. “Y/N.”  His hips rocked slowly, but then he started to fuck you quicker, the tip of his dick hitting your g-spot each time. You were a screaming mess, biting down on his shoulder. That done the trick he spasms against you growling. His warm cum triggered you. You came, sinking down and taking all of it. “Shit, you cheated.”

“You would’ve lasted forever.” You smiled lazily.

“Is that a complaint or a compliment?”

“Both.”

You wince, sliding off him, “right.” He rolled his eyes. “Now we gotta eat reheated Chipotle.” he stood up, fixing his pants. “Can I stay?”

“I guess.” You pulled the blanket over you, snuggling into your favorite place on the couch. He heads into the kitchen, and you reach for your phone, wondering what threat your sister had for you.

Meg: Are you still coming tonight?

This was not your phone; of course, it wasn’t. You unlocked the phone, clicking her name to look at the messages. But there is only red as Colson makes his way back into the living room. You throw the phone across the room, hitting the wall, and he stares at you. “What the fuck?”

“Take you and that Chipotle and get out.”

“Damn, what the Chipotle do?”

  A/N: One more part coming. I’ll drop it next week, I think! Thank yall for reading! Let me know what you think!!

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