#to go destroy a family so he can fuck a woman he ALREADY HAD CLOSURE WITH

[lavenderpanic]

It's so insane because every time I watch CATWS I'm like... Steve Rogers would literally prefer to die at Bucky's hands than go on living without him. Steve would rather die than admit that he really truly lost Bucky. He wants to look into Bucky's eyes as Bucky kills him because at the very least, it's Bucky. He knows for certain he's gonna spend his final moments with Bucky, whether that's a peaceful death decades from now, hand in hand, or right now, as Bucky beats him lifeless.

#but no yeah it's totally in character for him to go fuck off to the 1940s #to go destroy a family so he can fuck a woman he ALREADY HAD CLOSURE WITH #bucky barnes #steve rogers #stucky #catws #stevebucky #captain america #captain america the winter soldier #winter soldier

[adsosfraser]

The Stone’s Toll - Chapter Ten

Read on AO3

“We can’t stay here.” 

 “No, we can’t.” Jamie pulled his wife onto his bare chest. “And wee Hamish has sent a letter, requesting his cousin’s aide. Though he was vague on which, I’m sure he wasna comfortable writing Jamie Fraser on something the English could see.” 

 “So we go to Leoch with Fergus?” 

“I willna put ye in danger, the travel there will be treacherous now wi’ the English on our throats everywhere.” 

 “Well, I’m certainly not leaving you, James Fraser. Have you forgotten I’m wanted too? We go together. And, with us gone, Lallybroch will be safer, we’ll be safer for a while. But…” 

 “What is it Sassenach?” 

 “I know you and the sea aren’t close friends, but ports shouldn’t be as monitored as they were right after Culloden. The islands will be safer, Charles even fled to the Isle of Skye to go to France. In the future, some islands are even able to retain some of their culture, their tartan. We can always go there, it would be safer while we wait… for a pardon.” 

 “A pardon?” He was shocked. 

 “Yes. When I returned I placed three letters in the post at Inverness. Copies of historical letters I assume. They may give us the freedom we want.” 

 A sharp breath escaped his lips and he slumped back on the chair. “Christ, a pardon. You know how well that went the last time.” 

 “But this time there’s no more war, we’re done with that horror.” 

 “Aye, we’ll seek Hamish, then if we canna stay, we’ll bide on one of the wee islands.”

 “What’s this about ye up and leaving Jamie Fraser! And dinna think I’m not cross wi’ ye too Claire!”

 “Jenny,” Claire took her hand, “you know it isn’t safe for us to stay here. We got lucky the last time.” 

 “And I’ll no’ have my wife sleeping in a cave.”

 “Well, ye two eejits could at least wait ‘til yer goddaughter is christened! Ye dinna ha’ to leave wi’ yer tails tucked between yer legs so soon.” 

 “Goddaughter.” Her heart warmed and she squeezed Jenny’s arm.

 “I ken yer already her aunt, but ye’d make a fine goddaughter to the lass. I suppose that would make yer daft husband her godfather. Puir lass.” She feigned pity for the tiny girl in her arms. “Would the both o’ ye wait, jes’ one more day?” 

 Claire looked back at Jamie but already knew their answer. “Of course.” 

 The ceremony was brief, the priest wasn’t prepared to perform it so soon. Caitlin gurgled up at Claire in her arms. The holy water was sprinkled over her tiny forehead in the small kirk near Lallybroch. Other than the slight cry from the chill of water, Caitlin was a perfect baby. The Frasers and Murrays all joined back together to Lallybroch to celebrate. They enjoyed a small stew of rabbit and potato, the most filling one in weeks. Father Ross had the death certificate for Fergus ready to sign, but on seeing the boy alive and healthy, he walked towards the fire in the Great Room. 

 “Wait,” Claire shouted to his back. “Don’t burn it. Jenny, will you sign that?” 

 “He’s clearly no’ deid Claire, are ye off yer heid?” 

 “No, it’s just, it’s important that the document isn’t destroyed. I can’t explain how.” 

 “Verra weel.” She plucked it out of the Father’s hands and went off to the study. She mumbled, knowing long ago not to question her sister's strange nature. 

 Claire had ripped through the fabric of her dresses and the contents of her leather bag to pull out every piece of gold, silver, and jewellery that was left during the hours waiting for Father Ross. It was little less than three years’ salary in her time, but now it would support Lallybroch for years to come. She dumped it all out on the dining and the jewels, gold, and silver scattered and clattered against the wood surface. She had put away some for her and Jamie of course, enough to be comfortable on their journey, but even with the small dent into the funds on the table, it was still an astounding sum. Jamie spied her wedding ring on a chain within the pile and raised a brow to her, but she shrugged her shoulders in reply. 

 “A christening gift.” 

 Everyone at the table stared dumbfounded at the treasure disorganised on the table. A ‘Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ’ was supplied by her son. 

 “How Claire?” Ian piped up. 

 “I didn’t steal it if that’s what you're asking.”

 “Well, how on earth did ye find so much?” Jenny yelled, exasperated. 

 “It was my inheritance from my parents and uncle. And the man whose advances I turned down…gave some of it to me.” 

 “Jesus, Mary, and Bride, ye’ve been hiding this away all this time?” 

 “No, I’ve just recently acquired it myself. But now, it can be put to good use instead of rotting in some bank. Take it, Jenny, use it to save Lallybroch from the famine, clearances, and drought to come.”

 Jenny planted a sloppy kiss onto Claire’s cheek and handed Caitlin over to Ian. She grabbed her arms and began jumping excitedly. Claire even thought she heard a squeal from the small woman. Displays of affection from the woman were rare, and Claire felt so happy and touched that she included her in it. 

 “Claire ye have no idea how this will help us.” 

 “I have some idea.” 

 Their packing was done, and the horses were all lined up for the journey. Jenny embraced Claire, and she was reminded of the parting before Culloden all over again. 

 “Ye come back to us sister,” she raised her voice to a shout so Jamie could hear, “I dinna care much if this oaf does.” 

 “I love ye too Janet.” He pulled her from Claire into a giant hug. 

 “Och, ye ken I love ye too, a bràithair. Now, try to come back to us as quick as ye can. Lallybroch will be missing her Laird.”  

 A plant along the trail made Claire pause. It was a forget me not, and though it was only the beginning of March, it was blooming brilliantly against the grass of the glen. It couldn’t have been a coincidence that they were so close to the standing stones when she found it. She knew they needed to go back together, for closure. So she jumped off her horse and scooped her hands into the dirt. 

 “Jamie I want to go to Craigh na Dun before we stop into Inverness.” 

 Jamie pulled back on the reins of his horse and stalled in the middle of the path before Claire. He looked down at his wife and the flowers in her hands.

 “If you don’t want to that’s fine, I just wanted to plant these there, and we might never get another chance to do so.” 

 “Aye, we’ll go.”

 He dismounted his horse in one swift move. Carefully, Jamie helped Claire back up to her horse without crushing the delicate flowers in the process. Jamie passed the reins of his own horse to his son and climbed up behind his wife on her mare. 

 “Fergus, be a good lad and find a place to shelter in Inverness. Something not too in the open, or conspicuous either.” Jamie pulled out the bag of coins and tossed it to him. 

 “Oui, milord. I shall not fail you.” 

 Milord and papa, milady and maman, had become as interchangeable to Fergus as Jamie’s Sassenach, mo gràidh, mo nighean donn, and the countless other affectionate names he could come up with for his wife. 

 “Now off wi’ ye son, we’ll be shortly after.” 

 They held tight to each other, not able to bear even a second of lost connection. Fog clung to the air surrounding the tall monoliths and blocked the vision to the moor below. 

 “I wish I could punch it. But it won’t even let me do that.” 

 “How about this one to the side. Not too much danger of falling in fer yer wee hand.”

 She pulled slightly apart from him for the first time since they created the hi together. Her arm trembled as she reached out to lightly touch the stone closest to the centre one. Though it had become an unwitting victim of its brother’s actions, it would have to do. Lining up her arm, she delivered the first blow that jolted from the cold surface to the bones of her arm and shoulders 

 “Fuck you!” She screamed a gut-wrenching cry as she slammed her fist into the rock. “Fuck you! Fuck!”

 Her breath hitched and Jamie gathered her once again in his arms. He kissed her skinned knuckles. Giving her a few minutes to calm her racing heart and heaving lungs, Jamie cradled her tight to his chest, one arm under her knees and the other supporting her back. How many more tears would she cry, for something that was only the size of a blueberry? She knew she’d never lose the feeling of grief, but it would become more manageable most days. With her husband there to bear it with her, she knew it would be a certainty. 

 “I’m ready.” She patted his chest. “Are you?” 

 “Aye.” 

 “Do you want to punch it too?” 

 “No, that bastard stone’s taken too much from us. I won’t give it the satisfaction of flesh and blood from my hands as weel.” 

 She wanted to reach out and cradle the voice she had once heard to her chest, protect her against the violence of the stones. But it seemed it was her daughter instead who protected her. Digging the small hole into the ground by the outer stones, she smiled tearfully. Jamie’s strong hands were right beside hers, guiding the dirt away. Together they scooped the small plant into their hands, a mismatch of Jamie’s on top of Claire’s and then Claire’s on top of Jamie’s. They patted the dirt mound and encased the stems in the nutrients. With the task finished, Claire fell into Jamie’s lap and began to weep. She stroked his shirt with dirtied hands and left stains on the white linen. He rubbed the fabric on her back and Claire felt the moisture fall onto her hair and slowly down to her scalp. She offered him her sgian dubh and he etched into the centre stone with sharp angles, leaving the blade there as a gift.  Baby Fraser.  Claire’s hand trembled in his grip and she was almost consoled by the fact that she could feel his shaking too; he didn’t hide how it affected him as well. “I trust yer grandsire and grandmam are keeping ye out o’ trouble  a leannan . I love you. Tell Faith I love her too, and I ken she protects ye up there, but jes’ because she’s older doesna mean ye canna protect her as weel. Jes’ like I do fer yer auntie. Ye mind what yer family says, and we’ll meet again soon enough.” 

 Claire knelt down and gently cradled the small flower in her hand. “I love you, my baby girl. We love you so much.” 

 Jamie ripped off a strip from his sark and wrapped it around her bloodied knuckles with a kiss. They stayed to talk to the stone for a while. Jamie laughed with Claire after sharing an incident from his boyhood about a goat, some string, a bucket of shite, and his sister. Claire pulled out the photos from within her pockets and shared her child-self to their daughters, and the interesting marvels of the future. Jamie was proud he recognised the ‘airyplane’ from when Claire brought out the black and white pictures in the cave. He was bewildered of course at first, cursing the strange magic, but once he saw the brilliant smile of his Sassenach he knew the depiction couldn’t hold any evil. He especially liked seeing her as a bairn, with pigtails and a pink frilly dress and how the photos showed the change from cute baby to mature woman. She set one into the plastic wrap, a photo of her, her parents, and her uncle and buried it beneath the earth. 

 “Your family is with you always, my darling girl.” 

 With one last glance, they rode back to Inverness holding each other on the saddle. 

 Their short stay in Inverness was that: short. After the first night of full bellies and a warm fire, the innkeeper alerted the travellers to the presence of redcoats fifteen miles away. It gave them time to prepare themselves, instead of another hasty retreat to Leoch. 

 It was not nearly as strong of a fortress as it had once been. 

 Claire was put to use straight away, mending flesh and bone. Jamie was spirited away as well to advise his cousin in the Laird’s Tower. The only bright spot was the wonderful Mrs. Fitz. Fergus spent much of his time messing around the surgery and playing with the medicines, much to Claire’s annoyance. No matter how many times he insisted it would not happen again, his nimble little fingers were constantly filching items off of shelves and tables. So she sent him off to the kitchens.

 The ledgers had become impossible, and Leoch was close to ruin from partially funding the Jacobite cause. They felt the sharp absence of those who had fought bravely alongside them. None were left. Most of the men residing in the lands were either too old, too young, or too crippled to fight. There was talk of taking up a deal with the British, to leave Leoch and settle somewhere comfortable in America. Hamish was inclined to that option more and more each day. The Lairdship was not an easy thing for a twelve-year-old, let alone under such stress of a post-war climate. So, it was decided that the MacKenzies would sell Leoch to the British for land somewhere deep in Virginia. As much as it pained them to leave their culture and homeland in the hands of those bastards, they had no other choice. The lands produced nothing, the woodlands sparse, and their supplies pilfered by roaming soldiers. Claire felt guilty for the small amount of gold tucked into her dresses, but she told herself the amount she was left with couldn’t save them all. They stayed in constant communication with Jenny through letters and informed her of their impending move. Jenny wrote back to her cousins,  Alexander and Elizabeth Malcolm , just as often, if not more eager to know they were safe. 

 In the blistering heat of the summer, Claire, Jamie, and Fergus travelled in the safety of the band of MacKenzies. Virtually no redcoats bothered them on their way, patriot to king and country as the Laird most certainly was in their eyes. 

 At Ullapool, they said their last goodbyes as they split to different destinations. Jamie couldn’t possibly survive a month-long journey across the water. They purchased passage on the  Serendipity  and waited. 

 Jamie wretched off the side of the gangway as the ship made port. Stornoway, and from there they would hopefully find somewhere to settle down. A croft, north of Stornoway soon came to their attention. Most of their money went to purchase the land outright, they weren't too keen to rent one out as other crofters did, knowing the clearances would hit Scotland hard. So, Alexander Malcolm, his wife, and his son, began to build a home out of the small abandoned cottage. They hoped it would be temporary but would be fine if it wasn’t, for they had all they needed already: each other.

#jamie fraser #jamie x claire #craigh na dun #outlander fanfiction #fergus fraser #hamish mackenzie #castle leoch #stornoway #ullapool #adsofraser writing #canon divergence #jenny murray #ian murray #claire beauchamp #outlander fanfic

[t-lostinworlds]

The Choices We Make (Tom Holland) [2]

A/N: First off, i would like to say thank you so much for all the love and support on part 1, it truly means the world to me <3 second, i am so sorry for the long wait but here we are! thank you for your patience you kind angels! Hope you guys like this as much as the first aha! x

Pairing: Tom Holland x Fem!Reader

Summary: Tom realises what you two had and everything that he wasted. He realises he needed to fight for you and that he can’t lose you for good. But will he be able to make things right and have you back in his arms again or will it be too late?

Warnings: heart wrenching angst, a lot of crying from both persons, a bit of fluff but it’s flashbacks and typos?

Word Count: 14.4k+

Masterlist in Bio

NOTE: Flashbacks are in Italics

-:-:-:-:-

Where does Tom start?

Well, he can start with the fact that he's miserable. The fact that he's a disgusting piece of shit who deserves nothing but to be miserable, no less, maybe more.

You were so good to him, too good. You treated him more than he deserved. Even after what he did, even after he betrayed you, never did you treat him any less of man when in fact, he deserves to be treated like shit.

With a heart as kind as yours, when you showed him nothing but pure love, how could he have done what he did? A question so heavy as Tom asks himself as to why, but only ends up empty, it only ends up unanswered.

This makes him feel even more stupid. A downright disgrace given that he's ruined something so precious and special all for nothing, not even for something remotely worth it.

He could say he did it for sex, which is really rotten no matter the circumstance, doesn't make things better even by the littlest bit. But even then, it still wasn't worth it. He threw away so much just for sex? What a shallow reason to destroy such a beautiful relationship isn't it?

Quite frankly, nothing he will ever say will make things better. Not a single reason would justify the way he broke such a kind heart that gave him nothing but blissful happiness, gave him the truest forms of love.

The damage has already been done, he's already destroyed everything, hearts and trusts turned to nothing but fractured pieces.

Just how could he? How could he have done that to you?

You didn't deserve any of it.

All the times he's ignored you, made you feel unwanted. The countless times he's pushed you away and hurt you with his angry words. Hell, just the fact that he's made you feel like you weren't enough was a crime in itself.

Tom has been with you for three years, three fucking years, and during that time you had always been enough, more than enough. But that's the thing, realization and regret always comes last, always comes when it's too late.

You only realize just how much something is worth until you lose it.

It's been hours since you left, and Tom feels so utterly lost.

You we're his true north and now that you're gone, he was lost. Lost on where he'll go from here, lost on what to do, lost on who he's become.

A part of him knew he should've chased after you, but then what? He doesn't know what more he could say. He was still in deep doubt if he was fixing things or breaking it further if he continued to run his mouth. He at least needs to get his mind straight, get himself together or he'll say something that will make things even worse than it already is.

Tom sulked in bed right after everything, right after he heard that front door shut. He let himself drown in his tears and his regretful thoughts, both overwhelming him to the point that he passed out without even realizing.

Now, here he was, fully awake but still in bed. The sun was on its highest but Tom had no clue what time it was. With a broken phone, there was no way of telling unless he moves to grab a watch. But he doesn't really feel like moving. He just wants to rot in bed — or in hell as he rightfully deserves — and do absolutely nothing.

The whole house was eerily quiet and very cold, and he doesn't want to explore its state when he knows how it was coated with so much warmth before, your warmth. Was this how it felt for you when he doesn't come home? If so, then Tom feels even more of a shitty person than he already is.

But the world won't stop its course just to wait for him now won't it? So despite it all, Tom willed himself to get up and out of bed with a heavy heart, pushed himself to at least do the next right thing, whatever it may be.

Feet dragging against the tiled floor, Tom reached the living room with a broken sigh. His bloodshot eyes landed on the number of frames on top of the fireplace, photos upon photos of you and him, his frown deepening as the pain squeezed at his heart.

He walked over and took one in his hand, the one where Tom had an arm wrapped around your waist as he rests his head on your shoulder, eyes crinkling at the corners as both of you smiled wide and bright, the calming view of the Grand Canal just behind you as you explore the wondrous city of Venice.

The photo was taken by Harry during the shooting of Spider-Man: Far From Home, where you traveled with him and supported him from the first day to the very last.

It was such an innocent picture, mundane even, but so many memories came flooding inside Tom's mind with one simple look. And slowly but surely he was reminded how it used to be, how happy you both were just being together. Tom was reminded how special, how real it was, what you two had.

It doesn't even end with just the pictures, the whole house was a constant reminder too all the things he's wasted, all the beautiful things that made him feel nothing but pride and joy, utter euphoria to have such a wonderful woman in his life.

The whole house that was littered with all things you, from every room to every hall, from your precious laughter to the gorgeous sounds of pleasure that once bounced off the very same walls. Tom can still hear it, replaying inside his head loud and taunting to not let him forget each blissful memory that composed of you and him.

But now it's tainted by his blatant mistake, spoiled by his scandalous choices and he will never be able to forgive himself for that.

With a sharp intake of breath, Tom wiped the tears that slipped down his cheek with the back of his hand. He brought the frame up to his shirt to rid of the droplets that coated the glass, returning it back gently, carefully in sheer fear that he'll break it if he wasn't cautious enough.

Tom knows he owes you countless amounts of apologies, and at least a proper closure. He wasn't going to let last night be the end of it all, he knows he needs to talk to you. He needs to answer whatever question you have, and tell you what he truly feels. He just knows that the demons in your head are relentless. In whatever way he can, he needs to appease your mind with nothing but honesty so that it won't eat you up from the inside out.

He won't be able to live with himself even more if he just leaves you to blame yourself for his choices. And he's not going to stop until it sticks with you that this was nowhere near your fault. This was all on him, and he has to make sure you understand that loud and clear.

So right after he's bought a new phone, he drove towards the only place he knows where you'll be.

***

"Come on guys, open up," Tom tried again, knuckles rapping at the wooden door for the tenth time.

He's been outside the twins' house for roughly fifteen minutes now, and it's either no one was home or they were ignoring him. He figured it was the latter for obvious reasons, and he was proven right when he heard rushed footsteps on the other side when he gave the door another knock.

"Go away Tom, I genuinely don't want to deal with you right now," Harry fumed, boiling anger evident in his tone, a dead giveaway that he was well aware of what had happened.

Did Tom really expect his brothers to be calm about it? No, not even by a little. If he fucks up, they're the first ones to put him back in his place. And now—well, now he fucked up very badly.

Too add to that, the boys care about you a lot. It's been such a heartwarming thing for Tom to see you grow close with them, to see them accept you as part of the family. He understands why they're angry at him and they have every right to be.

"I know she's in there. Just open up, please," Tom sighed, palm flat against the surface as he waits for the lock to click open. Harry scoffed at that, voice muffled due to the door that's still in the way. "She is, but what gave you the idea that she wants to see you?"

That stung, but Tom also can't say he was surprised. Hell, he can't even look at himself without grimacing, so he wasn't expecting any less from you. He wasn't expecting things to go smoothly at all with the weight of his actions.

"Look, I get why you're mad at me. But Harry please, I just need to talk to her," he begged, but still to no avail as his brother growled in response. "What part of 'she doesn't want to see you' do you not fucking get?"

Tom was running out of patience, especially now with his emotions all over the place as with his mind. It was crowded in his head, very loud and obnoxious, just pushing and poking until he felt his anger bubble slowly. And before he could stop himself and take a deep breath to stay calm, his voice boomed,

"Just let me in damn it!" Tom's fists hit the door harshly, his emotions overpowering him to the point where he's becoming rash with his actions. He wasn't frustrated at his brother by all means, he was frustrated at himself. After all, there was no other person to blame why everything in his life has gone to absolute shit.

"Oh go and fuck off!" Harry barked, just fuming at the fact that Tom had the audacity to show his face at his house and give him attitude.

"I'm your fucking brother!" Tom knew that was a bullshit come back but he tried it anyway, he'd try anything at this point, growing desperate with each passing second.

He just really needs to see you. He needs some sense of familiarity, someone to ground him back, someone who's going to tame his mind before he losses it completely. That someone has always been you, his sense of peace, his rock.

"Ah yes! Please do remind me Tom because that's the only thing stopping me from going out there to break your fucking teeth you asshole!" It was obvious that both brothers were now feeding off of each other's emotions, voices loud as they go back and forth, and it was only a matter of time before one explodes which well then make things take an awful turn.

"Jeez Harry, calm down for a second yeah?" Sam's voice interrupted before things start to escalate further. What Tom heard next was fairly inaudible, but he can picture the twins arguing, just hearing the exchange of muffled voices. Then a few seconds later —much to his surprise — Sam opened the door.

Tom met his brother's eyes, a breath of relief coming out of him. "Thank you Sa—"

"Don't thank me, this wasn't my decision," Sam said solemnly with a stoic look on his face, a dissatisfied tone in his voice that Tom was quick to catch. "She's waiting for you in the garden," his brother added, stepping out of the way to let Tom in. He locked with Harry's angry eyes on the way, Tom's frown deepening as he tries to say something, to basically apologise for yelling when he has no right to.

"Harry I—"

"Just fucking walk," his brother sneered, tone ice cold. All Tom could do was nod as he pressed his lips into a thin line, walking pass the twins with his head hanging low in shame. Though never did he miss — nor will he forget — Harry's death glare and Sam's disappointed gaze as he made his way towards the back door.

***

The loud bang on the front door and the yelling was what you woke u—no, the fact that the loud voice belonged to Tom was what woke you up.

You don't know how long you've been asleep for, and to be honest, you could still need a bit more.

Last night was still clear as day inside your head. Everything that had happened you remembered as detailed as it can possibly get, from you reading that text message to then running out the house and calling Harry to come pick you up. You knew fully well you weren't in the right state of mind to drive, and you were glad that he didn't mind at all.

Sam came with him, both sporting their worried looks once they pulled over and saw your state. Though they didn't ask any questions once you got inside the passenger's seat, neither pushed to give you air to breath, them only knowing that Tom did something terribly wrong by the way you were crying on the phone.

The three of you just drove around the city for a while, windows down with the music blaring to try and get your mind off of it as much as they can. Both ordered pizza and opted on eating in the car that was parked near the River Thames, looking out into the gorgeous view of the Tower Bridge as it shines its lights in the night. You talked about anything and everything but the elephant in the room—well, car.

You only poured everything out to them when you got back to their house. Full on balling on the couch as you try and form a coherent sentence on what just happened. First they were surprised, unable to believe that their brother could do such a thing. Then you saw the anger cross their features little by little, more so with Harry than Sam. You've traveled with Harry quite a lot, you were a little closer with the boy due to the time spent together, but not by much of course.

They offered you the guest room right after, said that you can stay for as long as you need to. They both were real sweethearts about it, and you owe them a lot for keeping you sane for those couple of hours. You couldn't stomach to imagine what you could've done if they weren’t there.

You thought you'd just let them handle Tom, to not come out of the room until he's gone. You have no idea what more you could say or do if you see him again face to face, especially when everything that has happened was only in a span of under twenty-four hours. You were still overwhelmed, a complete mess both physically and emotionally.

But when you heard just how angry Harry was and how Tom was close to reaching there as well, you couldn't just sit still and let the problem grow even bigger. You can't let yourself be the reason that would cause a tear in their relationship with each other. Because by the end of everything, they're still brothers no matter what.

So slowly, you got out of bed, treaded into the living room where you found Sam sat on the sofa. His leg was bouncing anxiously as he listens to his brothers argue, clearly torn on what was the right thing to do. You walked up to him with a small smile, surprise crossing his features once he saw you awake.

He quickly said that he'd try and talk to Tom and make him leave, assuming that you are uncomfortable with him around but you only shook your head no. You told him it's okay to let his older brother in and that you'll just wait in the back garden for whatever it is he wanted to talk about.

Although relunctant, Sam didn't question your decision further. He just pulled you in for a warm embrace before flashing you a reassuring smile and then walking towards the front door.

Once sat on the wooden bench that was right on the back porch, you kept your gaze steady on the greenery in front of you, back facing the house as you tried to clear your head as much as you can. Basically to organized your thoughts and emotions. The cold evening breeze was helping to calm your nerves, your eyes following the gentle sway of the trees and the soft rustle of the bushes, the hum of the wind invading your ears in the most soothing way. It was a serene sight, so comforting, and slowly you felt yourself relax.

But the moment of peace was soon cut short, your eyes screwing shut once you heard the sliding door open and then close. His footsteps were light but the sound was already deafening for you, as if the rest of the world turned mute for you can only hear his shoes hitting the pavement, just ringing in your ears as you waited in anticipation.

Tom sat down beside you with a hold of his breath, heart aching once he saw your tear-stained cheeks, once he noticed how you kept your eyes tightly closed, purely refusing to look at him for even a split second.

His fingers started to fidget as nerves started to consume him. The action was also in a way to stop himself from reaching over to take your hand, to just feel your skin on his, because oh how much he's miss it, how much he's miss you.

He wasted a month of not holding you, of not getting to truly touch you, and he so badly wanted to pull you closer to him now, to make up with the time lost. But Tom wasn't going to push his luck, not going to over step boundaries because he wasn't in the place to make such decisions, not anymore. He knows that there were so little of both left that if he gets too near, he might end up pushing you farther away. He wasn't going to risk it.

On the way here, he's thought about all the things he was going to say to you. He repeated his speech over and over inside his head even though his words were a jumbled mess. It was something at least, a start. But now that he was seating here with you just a couple inches away, Tom's mind has gone blank. With the hundreds of words he's planned on saying, his lips could only let go of one.

"Y/N..."

You could pinpoint so many things with just the simple call of your name. The guilt, the longing, the regret, even the adoration, it was all there. Having known him for a while, you have gotten good at reading him, even if it's only from his voice, from the highs and lows to the different tones. But that was before, now, you weren't so sure if you actually ever knew him at all.

"What are you doing here Tom?" you asked softly, eyes opening with a sigh but still avoiding his at all costs. Tom ran an anxious hand through his hair, leaning forward to rest his forearms on his knees as he kept his gaze trained on your beautiful face, smile gone and glow dimmed out, but still so beautiful in his eyes nonetheless.

With a deep breath, he spoke, "I-I came here to apologise, for everything. I know it won't do much but I'm not going stop saying how sorry I am. What I did was so fucked up and I am so sorry darling, I really am," Tom paused and waited for you to get a chance to respond. But when you kept looking forward, when you didn't even move a single muscle, he sighed before adding. "And I just need you to know that this is all on me, none of this is your fault, please keep that in mind Y/N. You did absolutely nothing wrong."

You nodded with a shaky breath, and as you gathered all the strength you could muster, slowly you turned to face him.

The look in your eyes only did nothing but sharpen the pain in Tom's chest. Your once joyful orbs were now bloodshot and full of hurt, all because of him. The more he stared into them, the guiltier he got. The weight of what he's done so evident in your gaze, reminding him of all the promises he broke, reminding him just how much he's broke you.

"Do you have feelings for her?" you asked after a few moments of silence, bottom lip trembling despite trying your best for it not to. Tom shook his head with a deep frown, "No, I don't."

He knew where this was heading. You were going to ask him the questions that's been nagging inside your brain, and Tom was going to answer each one with the truth, no second guessing, just pure honesty.

You shifted in your seat, clearing out the lump that formed in your throat before speaking. "Was she better than me in bed?" you trailed off.

Tom couldn't help but wince at the fact that you've thought about it. He felt so disgusted at himself for such an awful deed, so revolted for putting that image inside your brain.

"No. She doesn't compare to you. I'm so so late on realising this but she doesn't make me feel things the way only you can," he answered truthfully, but you looked away.

You just couldn't hold his gaze. To stare at those brown eyes you once called home, those eyes that used to make you feel safe, it's just a sharp stab at your heart knowing that those same eyes betrayed you. It took everything in your power to not break down, unable to think further about everything without bursting into endless tears, unable to believe the words that were coming out of his mouth.

Tom saw this, he saw it in the way you looked at him for that split second, how you just don't trust him anymore. And oh does it hurt, but what did he expect?

You picked at your fingers nails as you kept your head low, trying your hardest to hold yourself together, concealing everything in. But you were grasping onto broken pieces, your heart and mind all fractured, too fragile. The harder you try to keep them as one whole piece, the deeper the cuts you inflict on yourself.

And the picture of him with another woman, touching her in a way that he used to touch you, it feels so vile, an agonizing torture for your already broken heart, and you don't know how much more of the pain you can handle. You don't know how much more you can endure before everything finally falls apart and becomes too damaged to put back together.

But what if that was the right thing to do? What if it was needed to let everything fall apart, to loosen your grip on the broken pieces of yourself for the wounds to heal, for you to be able to start anew? Maybe all you need is for everything to break down completely so you can build them back up, stronger and better.

"She's more beautiful than me isn't she? Has a better body? More talented? She's simply just better than me?" you croaked, trying your best to keep it together. But you were almost there, almost at the point of just letting the whole thing go, to let every emotion come flooding out, the bad and the ugly.

"Fuck no," Tom protested, rubbing a palm across his face in anger, entirely directed at him for planting that thought inside your head in the very first place. He hates seeing you like this, so hurt and full of doubt for no other reason than because of what he did. Tom wanted nothing more than to take away your pain, to take it in himself. He's the one who deserves to suffer, not you, never you.

With a deep breath, Tom tried to keep his emotions steady, gaze still set on you — despite it not being returned since you kept looking forward — his voice soft as he continued, "I know my words don't have any weight for you right now but believe me when I say that you will always be the most beautiful woman I've ever met, both on the outside and the inside, from your heart, to your mind and your soul. You are a gorgeous, wonderful and amazing woman Y/N. Please don't doubt that because of the stupid mistake I did."

The moment you locked eyes with him again, Tom's breath got caught in his throat. Your eyes coated with question, utter distress and seething anger, but the pain, God the pain, Tom can feel it sharp and deep in his bones.

Tears fell from your eyes as tried your best to keep your voice steady, but you just couldn't, with the all the different emotions boiling deep inside, you just couldn't.

"Then why Tom? Why?" you sobbed, Tom's heart shattering at the agonizing sound.

He sat straighter, eyes turning glossy but it never left yours, brown orbs boring into your own. "I-I wish I could give you a good enough reason why I did it but I really don't know. All I know is that I was stupid and it was a huge mistake. I realise that now, a little too late but I did. I took what we had for granted—I took you for granted, and I will always regret it until I die."

"You're just saying the things I want to hear." You shook your head with a soft whimper, breaking his gaze as you shut your eyes, enabling more tears run down and coat your cheeks.

"No darling, look at me," Tom croaked, taking the risk as he reached over to take both your hands in his, and you let him, no flinching, you let him touch you. His heart beat rapidly against his chest as he gave it a squeeze, a silent way of asking you to look at him.

A shaky breath came out of you at the feeling of his warm skin, your tear-filled eyes meeting his own once again, seeing nothing but transparency as he spoke, "I haven't lied to you from the minute I sat here. It's hard to believe, I know. But I swear on Tessa's life I'm telling you the truth, every single word I've said."

Tom moved closer, fingers nervously fiddling with yours as he tried his best to keep his tears at bay. "I-I really do want you back. I want you to come back home, I want to hold you in my arms again but after everything I've done to you, I understand why that won't ever happen. And y-you deserve someone better, so much better than m-me," he choke back a sob, bottom lip trembling at his last sentence.

"You hurt me Tom, so bad," you whimpered, voice laced with so much agony, no more holding everything in as the strong façade you've been putting on crumbles.

To see you break down in front of him, your hands shaking in his grasp, nothing but utter pain coating the dips and valleys of your face, that was all it took for Tom to crack. His tears now streamed down his face, falling freely one after the other as his emotions came crashing through like a tidal wave.

"I-I know darling, I know and I'm s-so fucking sorry," he spluttered, feeling his throat close up as he tried to blink away the tears, to rid of his blurry vision so he can see you. He just wants to see you, cherish every second since he has no idea if there would be a next time after this.

Then delicately, Tom lifted your hand up to his lips, kissing your palm sweetly, all adoringly before he placed it flat against his warm and damp cheek, leaning into your touch with a shaky breath. "I'm so sorry angel," he whispered, voice filled with pure regret and guilt.

You remained silent, still looking into his eyes but you kept still, not knowing where you'll go from here. But then Tom lets out a nervous sigh. "And I want you to know that I—" he cut himself off as cleared out his throat, eyes staring deep into your own before he spoke with absolute sincerity,

"I love you."

Your lower lip quivered with a soft cry, eyes closing as shook your head at him. "That's the first time you've said that to me since you came back home," you said, breath unsteady as you replay those three words inside your head.

Eight letters tied together giving you an overwhelming feeling. That's what it does when you haven't heard those words escape his lips in a long time. And oh how you missed it, you missed hearing him say it, but what did it cause for you to hear it again? Too much, way too much to the point that you were unsure if the words hold the same true meaning as before, doubtful if it meant anything at all or if he just casually threw it in there for the sake of it.

Tom nodded regretfully, letting go of your hand as he went to hold your face, thumb caressing your cheek tenderly, your eyes opening at the feeling of his skin on yours. "And I wish I could've said it to you more often because I truly love you Y/N. If I could go back and change everything, I would in a heartbeat. If I could go back in time I'd tell you over and over just how much you mean to me, how important you are in my life. I'd tell you every hour of every day just how much I love you."

With a sharp intake of breath, Tom leaned forward until his forehead was now resting against yours. His proximity was intoxicating, the tips of your noses were almost brushing and you thought it would be too much, but it wasn't. You welcomed it, the feeling of being so close to him because after everything, his eyes still have the hold against you, Tom will always have a hold against you.

"I love you so much darling and I fucking hate myself for not showing you that enough, because you deserve nothing more than to know that you are loved, to feel that you are loved. And I am so sorry for failing you at both." he whispered, and with one look into his eyes, you knew he was being genuine, his voice was trembling but still, you can hear it, feel it inside you that he was being honest.

But was that enough to make you feel reassured? Was that all enough for everything to go back to the way it used to be?

No, it wasn't. It wasn't enough to let your heart win over your brain.

"I just need space to think, I'm sorry," you muttered softly as you pulled your face away from his grasp, letting out a small sniffle before crossing your arms over your chest in a defensive stance, to hold yourself in a way. Tom felt his whole chest ache, but he didn't protest. He lets you go despite not wanting to.

"No, it's okay love and I completely understand. I wasn't expecting you to just jump back in my arms when I came here. I just really needed to say all of these to you." Tom shot you a small, broken smile before he lowered his head, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck.

Silence hung in the air for a few hellish seconds, turning awkward, deafening with each tick. And when you didn't say another word, Tom took that as a sign, took it upon himself to draw a conclusion.

"Uhm—yeah, I-I think this is my cue to leave," he muttered under his breath and stood up from his place, giving you one last glance to see you only spare him a nod, eyes looking anywhere but at him. With a defeated sigh, he started to walk away, but before he could reach the door, your voice stopped him.

"Tom wait—"

He immediately spun around with hopeful eyes to see you on your feet, already facing him with a small frown. Tom was ready, eager to run to you, to hear the words he so desperately need, to kiss you with all that he has as you take him back. But just as how quick he built that hope up, it was slapped away in an instant when you spoke again.

"Can you pack my stuff up for me please? I-I can't—I don't think I can go back at the house," you breathed out, eyes meeting his as you shifted from one foot to the other. "Just my clothes and toiletries, you can throw the other stuff away."

Tom's heart sunk into the pit of his stomach. The thought of you unable to go back to the house, your home, it was heartrending but there was no other person to blame for that. He searched your eyes, tried to read any hesitation on your face, because he can't accept it. He can't bear to fathom the thought of getting rid of each trace of you in the house. Tom won't be able to handle it because it feels like the final nail on the coffin, after it's done then there's nothing more to go back to.

But when he saw nothing, when he saw that you do in fact mean it, that it is what you want, he forced a tight-lipped smile. "Anything you need love."

You nodded somberly, "Just leave it in the front porch and I'll get it once you're done."

No more words were said after that, Tom unable to slip in a response as you turned your back on him. And with a gloomy sigh, he pulled the door open and went back inside the house.

The moment he reached the living room, the twins both stood up from their places on the couch, both sporting worried looks as they watched their older brother walk with his head hanging low.

"Uhm, thank you for looking after her and I'm really sorry," Tom said as met his brother's eyes. The boys saw a glimpse of what happened outside, and by the look on Tom's face, they knew that their brother deeply regrets what he's done. If anything, he needs them more now, and what harm will it do when they cut him some slack? Tom was already beating himself up black and blue, he doesn't need more of it from everyone else, especially the ones he truly cares about.

Sam was the first to approach him, a sympathetic smile plastered on the lad's lips as he gave him a comforting hug, a loving pat on the back before moving out of the way. Harry came into view next, hand rubbing at the back of his neck guiltily as he said, "I'm sorry for being an asshole earlier." Tom shook his head at him with a faint smile. "It's fine Harry. I deserved it."

His brother tilted his head to the side with a sad smile, moving closer to pull Tom in for a warm embrace. "Take care of yourself," Harry muttered. Tom lets out a shaky breath as he gave his brother a squeeze.

"I'll try."

***

It was so hard packing your stuff up. The fuller your bags got, the heavier Tom's heart grew. And it took him so long to get it done because he just needed to take a breather in between, the ache in his heart overwhelming him to the point that he can't stop his tears from free flowing.

On a slightly brighter note, he does have a sweet girl to comfort him, a precious staffy who'd lay her head on his lap whenever she hears him stifle out a few tears.

Tessa was supposed to stay with his parents for a couple more days, but Tom couldn't endure being alone in the house. So, he cut her little vacation short and stopped by at their house on his way home right after you two had the talk. Tom told them what had happened, disappointed looks unavoidable but they still gave him a much needed comfort and a few heartfelt advice, and for that he was grateful.

He drove home and went straight to bed right after, tried to get some sleep but struggled to say the least. But after a few doses of alcohol and a couple more tears, exhaustion took over him eventually.

Now it was midday, the rays of the sun shining through the bedroom windows, wrapping the space with warmth but Tom wasn't mirroring the mood, the clear blue sky unable to lift his spirits up.

He was sat on the floor of your shared closet, eyes trained on the already empty shelves. He stared at it for a couple seconds before his gaze fell right beside him where your suitcase was situated, now filled and entirely full.

Tom blew out his cheeks as he reached over to zip it up, the sound unpleasant to his ears, unbearable that his eyes screwed shut to keep the tears in. His head was already pounding; he figured crying some more wasn't going to help.

After a few calming breaths, he felt something nudge at his arm, lids shooting open to see Tessa with a stuffed animal in her mouth. "What have you got there?" Tom asked sweetly as he took the toy from her grasp, heart aching once he saw what it was.

He looked back at Tessa with a small smile. She's a clever girl but Tom just knows the dog was properly confused as to why he was packing her mummy's stuff up.

It pained him to think about it, that he would have to try and explain to her why you'd be no longer around. Tessa loves you quite a lot, absolutely attached that the pup tends to look for you first each time she's back in the house, a jab at Tom's ego but he adores it nonetheless. Hell, she explored each room when they got back last night, a soft whine coming out her once she didn't find you. And now to come and reflect that you two were going to be separated all because of him, it's just an addition to the guilt that was already filling him up to the brim.

Tom pulled her close to his side lovingly, placing a soft kiss on her forehead as he whispered on her skin with every ounce of remorse,

"I'm so sorry princess."

***

As he sat on the steps of the front porch, Tom's heart and mind were running a hundred miles per second. Your packed up things were sat on his left while Tessa laid flat by his right. The sweet girl still had no clue why they were outside, just sitting and doing absolutely nothing. But Tom was in much need of some company, and she's always happy to give him that.

He'd sent you the text few minutes ago, saying that it was all done and ready to be picked up. It did cross his mind that he wasn't going to do it, that he'll just keep your stuff here so you won't be able to leave, but that's just downright cruel, selfish and disgusting, so he quickly shut the thought down. Now he was left to wait anxiously, fingers picking at the fabric of the stuffed animal that Tessa lent him earlier.

It wasn't long after when a familiar car pulled up into the driveway, his heart hammering even more at the sight of the vehicle. Tom stood from his place with a shaky breath, dread slowly seeping through his skin at the mere thought that it genuinely was happening. That you were really leaving and it wasn't just his mind playing tricks on him.

Tessa perked up when you and Harry came out of the vehicle, the pup not wasting any time as she bolted straight towards your direction. You crouched down to greet her with open arms, a small giggle escaping your lips when Tessa showered you with her kisses.

Tom's heart stuttered at the sight, a feeling of adoration spreading in his chest, but only lasting for a split second as it was quick to be replaced by one with grief. His heart felt like it was getting torn out of his chest at that thought that he might not be able to see this wholesome interaction ever again.

You walked over to the front porch with an unreadable look on your face, Tessa trailing right behind sporting a wide smile as she kept her gaze on you, tail at an all-time wag, still oblivious to what was happening.

"Hey," was all that Tom managed to get out, his heart warming a little at the sight of you, but ached the moment he noticed your puffy face, bloodshot eyes meeting his as you flashed him a faint smile. "I'm taking my car on the way back, so uhm, I think I left the keys inside," you explained, fingers nervously fiddling at the hem of your hoodie.

Tom frowned at that, but he already knew you weren't stepping inside anytime soon. You did ask him to pack your stuff up for that sole reason. To add to that, he also kind of expected that you were going to say that too, so he fished your car key from his pocket and handed it to you.

"I saw it laying on the counter so yeah," Tom trailed off, eyes still set on you as you took the key from him with a slight frown, and when he saw this he panicked. "Fuck, this looks I'm kicking you out or that I'm looking forward to you leaving and came prepared. I'm not. I figured that you would take your car too that's why I have the keys prepared, not because I want you to go, because I really don't want you to go," he rambled before he could even stop himself.

You stared at him for a full second or two, contemplating on what to say — or if you should even say anything at all — but with much thought, not wanting to say the wrong words, you opted on staying silent as you only nodded at him with a hum.

"I think this is everything," Tom cleared his throat to fill up the silence, cheeks all warm and red as he gestured towards your bags. "If I forgot something just let me know," he offered shyly.

You were about to move, to take your things and get this over and done with but before you could even do so, Tom spoke again. "And uhm, I don't know if you wanted to keep him but—" Tom revealed a very familiar stuffed panda from behind him, holding it out for you to take—or not—with a nervous smile.

Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of the toy, frown unconsciously deepening as you took it from his hands.

It was the stuffed panda he won for you during your first date at a carnival. You remember it vividly, his grin wide and proud, eyebrows wriggling as he offered you it with a curtsy. Such a memorable night filled with hearty laughs, screams from terrifying rides, clouds of cotton candy and a handful of friendly competitions. The night then ended with him dropping you back home, and as cliché as it can be, with a sweet goodnight kiss at the front of your door, leaving you both smiling like idiots as he drove away.

After that night you had a feeling that there was something special about this boy. And months down the line, you realised you were right as he was quick to snatch your heart without much effort.

You'll always cherish that day, the simpler times as some would say, and the very panda you held in your hands now was a huge reminder of that. Was there any harm in keeping it? You're not sure. The memory does fill you up with genuine happiness, but then the pain follows soon after as you're reminded that it was once like that. The thought that the memories wouldn't be added with more, it hurts, deeply.

But as you looked at the toy again, you don't have the heart to throw it away. You don't have the strength to give it back either, so you held it closer to your chest as you looked back up to see Tom already staring at you in a certain way, a slight gloss coating his brown orbs.

That's when you knew he thought about the same thing too, remembered that same night, that same exact memory. You both held each other's gaze with such intensity, a slight hint of longing in each other's eyes. There were still so many words left unsaid, you both saw that. But neither of you spoke, neither of you dared to move a muscle.

The tension in the air only grew from there, almost turning awkward. That until Tessa nudged at your leg, making you break eye contact with the man in front of you to look at the pup with a curios yet sad smile. You were unsure if you're going to see her precious face again, and gosh it stings. She's your baby too and in no way do you want to leave her, but sometimes the right decisions requires a bit of sacrifice.

"Spend some time with her. Harry and I will take care of your stuff," Tom spoke as he gave you a reassuring smile, already knowing what's going through your head with just a simple look in your eyes.

You gave him a thankful nod, your own lips curving up and Tom felt his heart melt. It was small, didn't reach your ears by all means, but it's genuine, the warmest smile you've given him since everything that has happened.

With one last look at you, Tom took as much of the bags he can carry and made his way towards Harry, who was leaning on his car with his phone in hand. When the lad heard Tom approach, he smiled, helping him set the bags on the floor before pulling him in for a warm hug.

"You look like shit by the way," Harry joked as pulled away and went to open the boot of the car. Tom scoffed playfully at that. "Thanks bro, feel like it too."

Harry tilted his head at his older brother, hand coming up to give his shoulder a squeeze, making Tom meet his eyes. The brothers shared a smile, Harry not needing to say anything for Tom already knew what he was trying to say, that Harry is there for him, as he always is.

"How is she?" Tom asked softly, continuing the task at hand of loading your things in the car. "Still the same," Harry sighed sadly.

The older brother lowered his head with a deep exhale, just utter guilt filling him up from head to toe. His eyes were now staring at the last bag set on the ground, tears welling up again as reality starts to creep on him.

"Hey, she's a strong girl. She'll be okay. You both will be," Harry reassured and all Tom could do was nod. He wasn't sure if was going to be okay after all of this, his future blurry without you in it. But a brave face he can manage, taking in a deep breath as he placed your last a bag in the boot.

He looked back at the front porch to see you sat on the top step, both hands cupping Tessa's face as your lips moved. Tom could make out the glisten on your cheek, the light of the sun reflecting against it, chest heaving in a way that's had your hands slightly shake. He watched you pull Tessa in for a hug, your eyes screwed shut as you placed a loving kiss on top of her head, the pup giving you one big lick on the cheek once you pulled away, her way of returning the gesture.

Tom's heart took at big swing at the sight, a shaky breath coming out of him as he kept his eyes steady on his two favorite girls, bidding their goodbyes despite not wanting to, but having no choice because of the horrible things that he's done.

He caught his sniffle with a clear of his throat, quickly wiping away the tear that managed to slip with the back of his hand as you stood from your place and made your way towards them. Tessa was following you still, demeanor now different as she looked at your figure with a tilt of her head, almost with a frown.

She was definitely still a bit confused, but Tom has a feeling that she knows what was going to happen, and he will definitely have to hold onto her when you... when you leave.

"Everything ready?" you asked, voice a bit hoarse with the obvious tear lines on your cheek but neither boys said anything about it. "Yeah, good to go," Harry answered when his brother stayed quiet. Tom's eyes elsewhere just so he won't become a balling mess yet again.

"Okay, uhm thanks Tom." His head shot up at the mention of his name, flashing you a forced smile with a curt nod to match.

He tried keep at it his silence as he watched you walk to your car, just knowing his emotions would betray him the moment he opens his mouth. Plus, he genuinely doesn't want to make things harder for you again for putting more things in your head to think about. But the moment you opened the door to your car, he couldn't stop himself, he knew he needed to say something.

"Y/N wait—" Tom called out, walking closer towards you, though when you turned back around to face him, he hesitated. He contemplated if it was worth a shot, if he should at least try and ask. But when he took in your frown up to your glossy eyes, the glow and joy on your skin all faded, he inhaled a sharp breath.

"Take care of yourself," said Tom instead, not the same words that were stuck on the tip of his tongue, not the words that his brain wanted to scream into the open.

"You too," you mumbled, quickly getting inside your car, making Tom miss the expression that crossed your face. The car door slamming shut followed by the silent roar of the engine, drowned out the shaky breath you let out, eyes never meeting his again.

There was a simple question not asked. A question that could make things turn around, make this day have a better outcome, but Tom didn't dare to spit it out. He held himself back thinking that it was for the best.

He crouched down to take a strong hold of Tessa's collar as the two cars backed out of the driveway. The pups heartbreaking whines filled Tom's ears, the sound making his tears run down his cheeks, unable to keep them at bay any longer.

There were still words were left unsaid, but there was nothing more he can do with them now as Tom watched your car disappear down the street, eyes steady on the vehicle until the only thing left to see was the skid marks of the tires of your car on the pavement, a reminder that you were once here but may never return again.

***

A week has passed and Tom wasn't feeling any better. If anything, his life just turned shittier with each day gone without you in it.

The house was a complete mess, more so his bedroom with all the crap that's lying around. Said crap ranging from bottles of alcohol – some empty, some half-full – the broken glasses he has yet to pick up, dirty and clean clothes mixed up on the floor, up to the random food wrappers that decorated the area.

Hell, he hasn't even taken a shower in days, that's the state he was in right now. Tom also had to ask his mum to pick Tessa up a couple days ago, given the fact that he can't even take care of himself. Plus, he didn't want to stress the poor girl with him constantly being down in the dumps and more.

Long story short, he was a broken mess, both physically and emotionally. And the light at the end of the tunnel seems too far away where Tom doesn't even believe if it's there to begin with.

But despite wanting to rot in bed for maybe another week or two, to drown in his self-pity basically, he received a few emails that were too important for him to simply shove aside.

So, an hour-long, hot shower and a fresh set of clothes later — and a few pain relievers to help with his headache — Tom made his way outside his room only to look for his computer. Once he found it just on top of the coffee table, he held it in his hands and went straight back to the bedroom.

He couldn't bear to stay outside with the sun shining all bright, especially with it accompanied with the clear blue sky. The beautiful day just makes him feel bad about everything, makes him feel worse about himself. Tom felt more comfortable staying inside the bedroom where the curtains were all closed, the space dark and gloomy to match his mood.

Plopping back down on the bed with his back resting against the headboard, he placed the computer on his lap, taking in a tired breath before turning it on. Much to his surprise, he stared right at a photo of Tessa and him, confusion filling him up at the sight of the lock screen because that wasn't what he set it as. His lock screen was of you and Tessa, not him.

Sure enough when he tilted the laptop up, there he saw your initials written on the bottom surface. A frown made its way onto his lips as he realised that he might have given you his computer instead.

You two have the same computer and the only way to tell which one was who's without seeing the contents, was by the initials on the bottom. And just as cheesy as it can get, you were the one who wrote his initials while he wrote yours. Kind of like an autograph, hence why Tom was staring right at his handwriting, as if it wasn't obvious enough that this was in fact your computer.

At the time you both thought it was just cute and silly, a simple gesture for couples in love. Never did it cross Tom's mind that day that looking at it would bring hurt. But now it does, the gesture turned into remembrance, a mere memory of what it used to be.

He was a mess when he packed your things up. It wasn't unlikely that he missed to check which computer he gave to you. But what confused him was that a week has passed yet you hadn't contacted him, nor did you ask the twins to fetch it for you if you still can't bear to see him again.

It could've been that you haven't noticed yet or could've been something else. Tom has no way of knowing as he hasn't spoken to you since. He does know you're still staying at the twins' house courtesy to Harry, but that's about it.

He was about to reach for his phone to contact said lad but he accidentally pressed on the keys, screen now showing your desktop. Tom frowned with a shaky breath, a picture of you two on the beach glaring right at him. But what caught Tom's attention more was a certain folder, the name too long that he had to click it to show the rest.

B-ideas (If by any chance you're Tom please do not open this folder you're gonna break my heart if you do bub)

That only perked his curiosity even more. And given that he's already broke your heart due to something far worse, he double-clicked it to open. What more could he lose?

Tom felt a sharp stab at his chest as he scrolled through countless amounts of photos of different kinds of cakes, certain venues, and lovely decorations.

B-ideas... Birthday ideas.

He screwed his eyes shut, hand going up to pinch the bridge in utter frustration. First it was your relationship with Tessa, even his family for that matter, and now his birthday. What else did he ruin? Well, aside from the obvious anyway. How many times will he have to be reminded about all the things that are affected due to his mistake? Not enough apparently.

You always loved to plan his birthdays for him. He adored how you always get so excited to ask him a few things or when you keep it a secret as much as possible for it to be a surprise. You've made him the happiest boy every birthday. You make him feel even more special and he was glad to have you by his side each time. But now, he's ruined it by a long shot and his birthdays will never be the same.

As he reached the bottom, Tom found another folder within the folder named: For Slideshow (Gift)

Tom dared to open it as well, the pain in his heart only magnifying at the sight of old photos and videos of you and him. There were a few from all around the world — during the whole press tour to be specific — but most of it was just here in London or right at this very home.

You always went the sentimental route when it comes to his gifts. 'You can buy anything you want now,' as you've said. And despite him telling you that he won't care where you got it from – whether it from Tesco's or whatever – as long as you're the one giving it, then he will cherish that gift with all his heart. But of course, you just had to go the extra mile by making sure it was handmade by you. Whether it's a handwritten letter, a collage, or whatever cute thing it may be, you have never failed to make him emotional with each one, a tear or two shed every birthday.

It looked like you were going for a video compilation this year judging by the name of the folder and the contents of said folder—well, what you were supposed to do but it's not happening now, is it?

It was such a trip down memory lane, just photos upon videos, mostly candid, some intentional jump-scares and a few cheesy yet funny ones sprinkled here and there. The one video that caught his eye first though was the one where it had you and him kissing on the thumbnail.

Tom recognized it right off the bat. He remembers that day clearly to this moment. It was from the set where Harry filmed Roses for Lily, where you and Tom helped with all the little things. And his assumption was proven right when he pressed play...

"And that's a wrap everyone!" Cheers erupted around the field followed by applause as Sam and Sophie took a playful bow.

"Connect it to the speaker and play it on my cue," Tom whispered against Harry's ear, confusion crossing the younger lad's face before Tom jerked his head towards you. Harry shook his head at his brother but took his phone anyway, getting so used to his cheesy ass antics.

This wasn't your greatest week regarding work and school, even more so today. So, Tom thought head lift your spirits up in the cheesiest yet sweet way he can managed.

You were talking with Nikki when Tom suddenly came up to the both of you with an expression that you didn't quite read, hands behind his back as he stood with immense posture.

You narrowed your eyes at him. "Oh no, what are you up to?" you asked suspiciously.

"Will you do me the honour of granting me this dance mi lady?" Tom offered his hand with a curtsy, voice sporting the most posh accent he can muster with a cheeky smile plastered on those pink lips.

You shook your head with laughter at your boy. You turned to look at the woman who you were having a conversation with, only to see her give you two thumbs up with a wide smile, and with that, your gaze landed back on Tom sporting a smile of your own.

"Pleasure is all mine kind sir." You mimicked his accent and took his hand, fits of giggles coming out of you as Tom dragged you towards the front of the bench, the view of the field endless behind you.

He interlaced his fingers with yours as his other hand took home on your waist while yours rested on his shoulder, just like a proper ballroom dance. "We don't even have music you dork," you pointed out the obvious, to which Tom only grinned all proud.

"Says who?" He shot Harry a nod and not long after the soft tune of 'The Way You Look Tonight' by Frank Sinatra filled your ears.

You threw your head back as you let out a loud yet hearty laugh. "You're a huge cheese ball aren't you?" you teased.

"Oh please, you love it," Tom flashed you a knowing smirk as he then starts to swing to the tempo of the music. He guided you with gently care as he spins you out and then pulls you back in again, his background in dancing making it easy for him to lead the dance.

And you always admire this talent of his, adored it with all your heart as you break out to random dances – may it be silly or slow – around the house whenever to whatever music. It was not new to you so you can easily follow his rhythm having dance with him before. Plus, the steps were simple enough for you to catch. And having known each other for a long while, it was easy for the two of you to move in sync.

But then he started to sing, and that caught you off guard.

"Yes, you're lovely, with your smile so warm; and your cheeks so soft; there is nothing for me but to love you; and the way you look tonight."

You can't stop your grin from growing at his sweet voice, heart warm as you stared right into those beautiful brown orbs. Tom doesn't sing much often, not seriously anyway. But when he does, it makes your heart melt ten times over and then some, because the boy can definitely sing.

"Am I wooing you darling?" Tom cooed with a wriggle of his eyebrows, earning yet another laugh from you. And with him being all cheeky with his timing, you didn't get to respond as he continued to sing,

"And that laugh that wrinkles your nose; Touches my foolish heart," Tom sang with a cheeky wink, the smile on your lips ever growing that your cheeks we're starting to hurt, but you could care less.

"Lovely, never, never change; keep that breathless charm; won't you please arrange it? 'Cause I love you; just the way you look tonight,"

He kept singing, not for but to you, dedicating each word, meaning each note that the smile on your lips was impossible to wipe off. Not to mention the simple yet lovely dance, bodies swaying sweetly to the music, it was just like a scene from a movie.

Tom twirled you around courteously, pulling you back closer to him that had both your arms resting over his shoulders. He wrapped his own arms around your form, noses delicately touching as you two mirrored each other's eyes, nothing but the look of love coating them.

And when you nudged his nose adorably, Tom chuckled, the corners of his eyes crinkling, leaning closer until his lips captured yours in a charming kiss. A kiss so blissful that your hearts were filled with nothing but warmth, spreading from head to toe as you kept dancing to the slowly fading music.

Both of you were unaware that Harry recorded the whole thing, making the little dance, the sweet gesture as pure and raw as it can be. Just two couples in love, cherishing each other's company, adoring one another with everything that they have...

Tom lets out a strangled breath as the video stops, trembling fingers hovering over the space bar as he stared at the still of you, warmly wrapped in his arms, absolutely content, delighted and purely in love.

Next thing he knew, Tom found himself watching videos upon videos of you and him, endless clips that showed just how happy you two were, how happy you made him. Each video showed him the way you use to glow, smile bright as day while your eyes were filled with nothing but pure adoration, a blissful expression on your face and oh how stunning it looks on you. Pure happiness suited you so much and Tom took that away. He took away your shine; he snuffed out that radiance you always bring whenever you're in the room.

He only decided to stop when Tom felt his chest tighten harshly, breath turning uneven as his eyes started to burn. He was about to close the laptop, to set it aside and give himself a breather, but then he saw another one with a thumbnail that has only you in it. Despite being too emotional, despite deciding that the torture was enough, his curiosity was stronger. So, he played it...

"...right, is this recording? Yup, it is, okay."

You sat back on the chair after you adjusted the camera – which Harry kindly let you borrow – on the little desk you had in yours and Tom's shared bedroom. "It's a little too early to make a video message since your birthday is months away but I've got nothing better to do so," you trailed off, adjusting your hair before sitting up and smiling at the lens.

"To the man of my dreams, my knight in shining armour, to my handsome prince," you paused with a scrunched of your nose. "Oh gosh too cheesy. Okay, reel it back, whew, okay, Thomas, spider-boy—well, more like spider-baby..." You let out a laugh at that, shaking your head at yourself before taking in a deep breath and looking back straight at the camera.

"To the absolute love of my life, Tom, happy birthday. Oh now, where do I start? Well, I can start with how proud I am of you. The fact that you've achieved so much in so little time? I couldn't be any prouder. You're the most hardworking man I know, it's not really a surprise how you got to where you are today. But despite all the accolades, the awards you've won — and soon to win — there's always one award, well two actually that's far more important than the rest. First one is you-being-such-an-incredible-human award. You, Tom have the kindest most compassionate heart I've ever had the pleasure of seeing. I could list so many great things but then we'd be here all day, just ask me it later and I'll send it to you in post," you giggled. "But trust when I say that you are a true hero, even without the mask."

"And well, the second award, oh gosh, it's the best-boyfriend award. Forgive my cheesiness — although you do like it — but it is in fact true. You, Thomas, you make me the happiest girl ever. I—oh no here comes the water works," you joked, fanning your eyes in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. And when you felt like you can hold it together, you continued,

"I feel so lucky to have you in my life. You've always been there for me through the good, the bad and the ugly. I don't think I could've made it pass things without you Tom and for that thank you. Thank you for sticking with me through thick and thin. For being my shoulder to cry on when I really need one, for being such a great listener and for being my rock. Thank you for helping me through the hardest times bub," you paused to take a deep breath, eyes glossy but with a proud smile on your lips nonetheless.

"...granted our relationship isn't perfect, we've had our disagreements and petty fights but I wouldn't trade it for anything else. I wouldn't trade you for the world, Tom. I am happy to be with you, so content with what we have. We've laughed together, cried together, we've grown together, and as promised, we're going to be there for each other, always." you let out a soft giggle to try and clear the lump in your throat, blinking rapidly to keep it in, though it already obvious in your eyes that you weren't going to be successful.

"And lastly... I love you so much Tom. My heart could literally exploded with just how much, and I just want you to know that whatever it takes, whatever challenge life will hurl at us, whatever happens in the future, I will always, truly, with all that I am, lov—"

"Darling? Where are you?" Tom's voiced echoed down the hallway, halting your words as you turned your head towards the door. With a sweet laugh, you look back to the camera. "You and your impeccable timing Thomas."

You quickly wiped the tears that managed to escape your eyes, making sure you don't look suspicious to not ruin the plans of surprise.

"Sweetheart?" Tom called out again.

"Bedroom babe!" you answered, taking in deep breaths before reaching for the camera. "I'll finish this later I guess. I'll see you—well in a couple seconds but future you sometime soon, love you!"

And with a blow of a kiss, you turned the camera off...

The whole bedroom turned eerily quiet as the screen turned pitch black. Almost quiet aside from the soft tap, tap, tap – the sound of Tom's tears hitting the computer keys, one after the other.

Tom stifled out a whimper as he screwed his eyes shut, hand coming up to tug at his hair in anger, sorrow, regret, hurt. You were good to him, you were everything to him and more. How could he waste that? He lost someone so rare, someone who's out of this world from beauty to heart. No one could ever replace you, nobody will ever come close to how much of an amazing person you are, how special and lucky you made him feel.

He had everything, and he threw that away.

As he tried to catch his breath, he reached for his phone, dialing the number of the only person who'd give him comfort but without all the bullshit.

"Hey Harrison, I know you’re probably still disappointed with me right now too but I just really need someone to talk to..."

***

"...and then I found this folder of hers that has all these ideas for my birthday. It even had old photos and videos of us but what struck me the most was her video message and I just—" Tom stopped to catch his breath, wiping away the tears on his face before he looked up a Harrison with a soft sob, "I ruined so much."

"You did," the lad answered bluntly, no sugar coating, no bullshitting. He wasn't going to say the words that his friend wanted to hear, if he kept doing that then how will he learn?

Tom buried his face in his hand in shame, sniffing loudly before lifting his head up again, face all puffy as he met his best friend's eyes with his bloodshot ones. "I miss her so much Haz, and I really want to fix things between us, to have her back. But I don't have a chance anymore."

Harrison frowned at that. He knows the full scope of the situation, but he doesn't recall you saying those exact words, well, as what Tom has explained to him anyway. "Did she say you don't have a chance anymore or did you just put words into her mouth?"

You didn't. You haven't told him those exact words, but your actions were an enough sign right? Tom leaned back on the couch, hand running through his hair with an exasperated sigh. "She told me to pack up her things, I think that's a clear message that it's over," he grumbled.

Harrison shook his head at his friend disapprovingly, "Tom, she has been fighting for your relationship for more than a month and you're already giving up in a week? After what you've done, I think you need to fight harder than that mate. Put more effort in, you owe at least that to her."

Tom frowned at his words, guilt growing more intense as the gears started to turn in his head. Did he really give up that easily? Could he have done so much better? If he asked you to sta—

But then the nagging voice was quick to shut down his questions. A certain reason why he feels like he can do nothing about it grew louder in his mind, said reason he felt the need to speak out loud.

"She deserves someone better than me Haz. I broke her heart and I—" Tom rubbed the nape of his neck. "I don't think I deserve another chance," he concluded in defeat.

Harrison sighed, placing a comforting hand on Tom's shoulder before he began. "Okay look, there are only two paths you can choose regarding this. Path one, you can mop around, drown in your pity party and just give up with everything like a fucking wuss. Or path two, you can get off your ass, thrive to be better, right your wrongs and be the man that she deserves. You have to fight for her if you truly want her back Tom. It's just a matter of choice," Harrison finished as he shot him a knowing look.

"I think you've been so busy telling yourself that everything is too late, but what if it's not yet? You think it's too late, but is it actually too late for her? What if she just needs more persuasion? What if she just needs a proper reassurance that you're going to make things right? For you to truly show her that you do in fact still love her? All I'm saying here Tom is that you won't know the answer to these questions unless you ask them, unless you give them a try. We don't get what we want easily, you have to work hard for it." Harrison added.

Tom stared at his best friend in pure shock and amusement given that he's never heard him sound so wise with advise before. They usually do stupid shit together, and when it comes to relationships, they both can be as equally as clueless.

But nevertheless, Tom felt like his eyes got opened, a new perspective settling in his mind and he will be forever grateful at Harrison for that.

"Fuck you're right." Tom didn't waste any more time as he got up from his place and went to go get his keys. Harrison sat there bewildered, calling out to Tom again when he saw him go towards the front door, "Where are you going?"

Tom turned to his friend with a small yet hopeful smile, the most he's felt in a while, "I'm getting her back."

***

Sam looked at his brother in complete surprise once he pulled the door open, "Tom what are yo—" the lad cut himself off once he saw Tom's face, clear in his expression who he was looking for.

"She didn't tell you," the twin muttered with a frown, his sudden change in demeanor making Tom worry. "Didn't tell me what Sam?" he asked cautiously. Tom thought he already prepared for the worst, thought that he can handle any sort of rejection, but when his brother spoke again, all the color drained out his whole body.

"Harry drove her to Heathrow thirty minutes ago."

It took a few seconds for Sam's statement to finally sink in. And when it did, Tom cursed as he quickly turned on his heel and ran, heart pounding, head spinning.

"Tom, wait!"

Sam didn't get a chance to stop him as he was already back inside his car, engine roaring as he veered into the road at top speed. He was driving dangerously, Tom was aware of that, but he can't let you step even a toe in that plane. If he does, then it will really be too late.

***

"Come on Harry, pick up, pick up, come on lad pick u—Harry! Which terminal?" Tom asked in haste, fingers drumming against the wheel impatiently.

"Huh? Terminal?"

"Bro, I beg, just tell me which terminal you dropped her off, please." Tom heard Harry sigh on the other line, his anxiousness growing with each silent second, and when his brother gave him the information, he felt the tears prick at the back of his eyes.

"Terminal 2... She's off to Abu Dhabi."

***

Tom's lungs were gasping for air, both from him running as fast as he can, and from the fear that was overwhelming him to every bone. Fear that he might not catch you on time.

The crowded airport wasn't helping his anxious state at all, his eyes quick to dart around as he tries his best to look for you. He asked around, looking like a lunatic as he shows your picture to random strangers. He even asked at the desk just to narrow where you could've gone, to make it easier to find you in this huge haystack. And when he hadn't had much luck, Tom was quick to assume that you already got pass security.

It may had been dumb, but everything he's done at this point has been dumb, what's the worst thing that could happen if he tried to get pass the guards?

But before he could even attempt and sneak his way in, a large, tall man blocked his way. "Boarding pass?"

Tom shook his head, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, mind an utter mess that it was hard for him to think straight, "I-I don't have... it's an emergency please I–"

"Sir, you're not allowed inside if you don't have a ticket," the security reprimanded, hand held up as he stops Tom's chances of slipping by. He's an idiot really, thinking that he can talk his way through, but he tried it anyway, begged in desperation just so he can find you before you get on that plane. "Please just let me through, it will be quick, I just need to—"

"Tom?"

Never had he ever turned around so quick in his life, relief washing over him once he saw you standing there, bottle of water with a receipt in hand, confusion written all over your face at the sight of him.

Tom just ran straight towards you, his burly body almost knocking you out of balance as he buried his face on the crook of your neck, arms engulfing you tightly, like he's holding onto you for dear life. Tom's whole body shaking as he balled his eyes out, a stuttering mess when he tried to speak to say the least.

"N-no, p-please don't leave me, I-I can't—I can't do this without you, p-please don't leave," Tom sobbed against your skin, his hold around you vise-like but just enough for it not to hurt. He's just downright scared to loosen his grip for you might vanish into thin air if he does.

You tried to pull him off of you but a useless effort as he is much stronger than you. And the harder you try, the firmer his grip on you becomes, muttering his protest over and over of him not wanting to let go. You sighed, "Tom, look at me, bub..."

Tom lets out a whimper at the nickname, pulling away just slightly until he was able to rest his forehead against yours, his warm tears dropping on your cheek and your heart stung at the feeling.

"Breathe for me," you whispered, cupping his face with both hands. Your thumb caressed his cheek tenderly, wiping away the tears that ran down them as much as you could. Tom did as told, attempting to steady his breathing, the warmth in your eyes helping him by a mile.

When he finally got a hold of himself, he took one deep breath before speaking. "I should've asked you before you could even leave the house, should've chased after you. I should've fought harder for you. I wanted to ask you this before you got into your car and I didn't, which was a mistake," he trailed off, clearing out his throat as he gave you a gentle squeeze.

"I should've at least tried and asked you stay. I hope it's not too late but now I'm asking, begging you to stay. I want you to stay with me, please?" Tom pleaded, ready to be on his knees but you stopped him, he didn't need to be. Your fingers traced his jaw delicately, heart aching at the sight of broken man in front of you, but you've already made a decision. It was hard sticking to it now with him here, but you just had to remind yourself that this was for your own sake. You've already thought this through and it was final.

"I—I can't," you paused as the number of your flight echoed through the speakers. You turned back to Tom with a soft whisper, "You know I can't."

"At least you could've said goodbye?" he squeaked, voice breaking at the fact that your mind was already set, and when that happens, even before your worlds got flipped upside-down, it takes so much to change it.

"I couldn't, because I know for a fact if given the time, you might actually change my mind. Hell, just seeing you right now, it's already making me doubt my decision. But I need this Tom, I need to do this for myself. I've realized that my world revolved too much around you, and I don't regret it at all but I need to find my own path, grow as my own person."

Tom nodded dejectedly, eyes shut tightly because he knows he would have to let you go in a couple minutes. He needs more time, he wants more time with you. But when he heard your flight getting called again, Tom knew there was not much he can do about it.

"But when are you coming back?" he asked, voice frail but full of dread. And Tom felt his heart shatter some more when you looked away, his frown deep and sorrowful as he muttered, "You're not planning to."

You shook your head with a close of your eyes. "No. I am... I just don't know when," and it was true. You were going away for quite some time but you have a life here in London as well. It would be too hard to stay away. But as of now, you don't think you'll be back anytime soon.

As you open your eyes to look at those brown orbs again, you knew he understood.

He always does. Tom is quick at that when it comes to you. Not needing a whole lot of words to know what you mean, one look in the eyes will suffice. Tom couldn't say much more either, so he lets his action speak for itself instead.

He pressed his lips against yours, the gesture catching you off-guard but only for a split second as you melted in his arms not long after. Tears slipped pass your eyes at the feeling, the feeling of his lips you've missed dearly, and Tom was the same. He missed how your lips fit perfectly with his, he missed how warm it feels, tender and soft.

It was a bittersweet kiss with the sense of goodbye laced in it, but it was beautiful nonetheless, special in a way as two hearts melt into one once more. Neither of you wanted to pull away. You just wanted to be stuck in the moment on repeat, destroy the buttons so that it plays on a never-ending loop. But when you heard your name through the speakers, you had no choice but to pull away.

As you stared into each other's eyes, both of you knew there was one more thing left to say, and as you did, as you spoke with nothing but sincerity, your hearts were filled with nothing but pure—

"I love you Y/N."

"And I love you Tom."

And with that he lets you go, hands going limp at his sides as he watches you gather your things and walk towards security. Before you could disappear out of sight, you spared him one last look over your shoulder, a smile written on your lips, one that was genuine, filled with adoration and... love.

It was a look that would always be burned in Tom's memory, but hopefully it won't be the last. Hopefully, with every choice made from here on out, if it's destined, then you'll find your way back to each other.

-:-:-:-:-

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[zalrb]

hmm maybe you could just rank them according to your personal preference?? i think it would be a little different from the other one right

Sure! I’m sticking to canon ships.

1. Stelena

I have an entire masterlist dedicated to why Stelena is number 1.

2. Forwood

Oh, Forwood:

Caroline and Tyler were fundamentally altered because of their supernatural conditions and that shift was the basis of their relationship. Becoming a vampire empowered Caroline, she had a sense of strength that she never had, she was confident and centred, she became everything she wasn’t in season 1,

which allowed her to be emotional support for Tyler

who, because of the werewolf curse, became everything he wasn’t in season 1 too: humble and vulnerable and grateful for assistance

and that allowed him to actually take the emotional support from Caroline

so they actually grew together through this time, complementing each other and seeing different sides of their personalities, surprising each other even though they’d known each other since childhood.

And also no one gives Tyler credit for being a loving, whipped boyfriend

and like

and just look at them

I don’t care what anyone says, this is such a cute exchange

3. Stebekah/Steferine

I put them together because which one I prefer more depends on the day. I like Stebekah because they’re dark and there was a lot of potential there:

I think that Katherine unfairly gets credit for the second half of a Dark Stefan ship. Every time Stefan has been rebellious or dark and has had a woman at his side, it’s been Rebekah such as in the 20s:

And such as season 4. When Stefan was just tired of all the Delena and   Defan and triangle bullshit and was like fuck it, I’m doing something   for me, I don’t care if it’s a bad decision, he went to Rebekah for some  crazy sex with a crazy ass vampire: 

So I think Rebekah has insight into the depraved, dark, deviant Stefan because she relishes it with him

I like Steferine a) because of Dobsley chemistry b) because I find their dynamic interesting

[Steferine is] the one ship that the show portrays the baggage and the hurt and the sort of inescapability of certain connection quite well although it’s not emphasized so I wonder if they actually portrayed it well on purpose? But anyway.

The reason why I think it’s done well is  because I think the relationship contradicts the idea that loving someone is always good, Katherine’s “love”/obsession with Stefan in fact  continuously destroys him and hurts him […] She  is more in love with the idea of Stefan loving her than she actually is  with Stefan. That’s why she hijacks Elena’s body in season 5 and  attempts to seduce him because  let’s think about that. Katherine hijacked the body of a woman she  hates and tries to seduce Stefan as that woman, a woman whose break up with him was a trigger for his PTSD, a woman who was in a relationship  with his brother and she doesn’t think or care about how seducing him as this woman would fuck with his head:

It’s also why in season 2 she threatens to kill Elena while Stefan watches because it doesn’t matter if he’s scarred or hurt, what matters is owning him:

And Stefan knows that about Katherine and yet Katherine knows Stefan’s psychology, she knows how his mind works, she knows which ways to get through to him:

and that creates a lot of tension for Stefan and you see it because it’s like, “you legit ruined my life though, like you completely fucked with my head, fucked with my life, I hate you, like I legit hate you”

and yet, AND YET, I can’t help but be of comfort when you’re in need

and as much as I hate you, when you’re around there’s just, there’s this thing (because Stefan always looks like he’s a half-step away from having hate sex with her)

At the same time, Stefan is never able to let Katherine in completely

And  he also experiences catharsis by being able to torture her in season 2  then kill her in season 5 and despite dying with her, killing her again  in season 8, he gets to continuously avenge himself which other victims  on TVD don’t get to do

4. Beremy

Here is the thing about Beremy and my opinion on them is definitely framed by the fact that I now know that the only other relationship Bonnie is really in is with Enzo and I think Bonenzo is bullshit, but the thing about Beremy is that Jeremy goes hard for her (especially in season 2) and I don’t think that’s quite acknowledged.

I definitely think that Kat deserved a better screen partner because Steve didn’t really have much of a presence onscreen

but I do think his lack of presence is also why a lot of good and cute Beremy scenes go unnoticed.

and I don’t think their chemistry was bad, like it’s not Grahamwood chemistry, it’s not Somergraham chemistry but it’s not like Steroline flat or Delena cringey, it’s decent:

like their first kiss is a good first kiss

and I’ve also said that they’re at their best when they do angst, that’s where they live. It’s not Stelena angst or Forwood angst but it’s pretty good angst

The way Enzo is supposed to love Bonnie, I think we actually see with Bonnie and Jeremy

Jeremy is this puny pre-hunter human but he goes into the tomb for the moonstone so Bonnie won’t have to use her magic.

In 2x18 when it was all don’t tell Elena that Bonnie will die trying to take down Klaus, Jeremy essentially chose Bonnie by telling Stefan what was going to happen.

Like look at the way he smiles here:

but the writers really fucked this over: And here’s the thing about that. I can understand the fact that Jeremy never really got closure from Anna and that seeing your girlfriend get dragged out, screaming, by cops and knowing that your uncle killed her would be traumatic. But it’s like JP wanted to humiliate Bonnie with this triangle because first of all, Bonnie is the only character who’s been cheated on and not only are the overall stakes of the show super low for the consequence of Bonnie using her magic to be Jeremy being able to see his ex-girlfriends, it’s a petty way to punish Bonnie. Moreover, it’s not just that Jeremy kissed Anna, it’s not even just that he’d been talking to her and essentially having an emotional affair with her, it’s that he degrades his relationship to Bonnie for Anna and when Bonnie finds out, Jeremy legit couldn’t give a fuck and he does nothing to get her back and he’s just never apologetic about it, not toward Bonnie anyway and then it just gets to the fact that Jeremy has a tendency to only care about the women he dates when they’re about to die and it’s just, I understand why the whole Anna situation keeps people from shipping them or giving Beremy the time of day.

5. Maroline

OK Maroline gets a lot of flack and it’s not that I don’t understand why and it’s not like they didn’t have issues but 1) their coming together was organic and on a show like TVD, having two people come together organically is actually pretty rare, it’s basically Stelena, Forwood and Maroline. I enjoyed the fact that despite being opposites, they found emotional common ground, they bonded over the fact that they were both lonely and they both felt isolated and they were both desperately seeking someone to love them

and their respective stories support this interaction

it’s not just something that’s said to be said, we see Matt’s life, we see him have no parents, we see him to the best of his ability try and keep tabs on Vicki, who is dead but he thinks she bailed, we see Elena fall in love with someone else right in front of him, we see Caroline’s abusive relationship with Damon, we see her insecurities from Day One in the pilot but their bond didn’t just stay at them wanting company, they actually had fun spending time together, they actually liked each other

and I liked that it was no pretense, I liked that it was Family Guy and junk food. You know, Klaroline ha the champagne and the ball gowns, Forwood would just “be” a lot, you know, they were the enjoying each other’s silence kind of ship, Steroline as a couple .... but Matt and Caroline, like, hung out and I liked that.

2) They were super realistic for a teenage relationship and I respect that. Like this is so high school

I remember being 16 and doing things to “test” my boyfriend or the guy that I liked, I remember my guy friends being reluctant to express liking a girl because of what their friends would say, I remember being a teenager and just doing teenage things, which is what Maroline did,

I don’t fault them for that, and yes, in season 1, Matt would be like, we’re not going to last etc.

and I don’t blame people for being put off by that, I wasn’t because it’s pretty 16/17-year old boy but you also see how that doesn’t seem to be what he actually thinks

and we see that expand in season 2

which is why the infamous Mattlena hug scene in 1x17 had me, like, the writing is just contradicting itself now because in 1x16, we have this out where Matt  explain being over Elena and seeing her as a friend and at peace with the fact that she loves Stefan because he’s into Caroline so having Caroline look in on them again was like, we’ve already covered this especially since it’s not consistent after 1x17 either.

Like the whole thing is that she can be exasperating --- and people forget that Caroline actually can be exasperating, she made an offhand classist remark about Bonnie liking the bus boy, which Matt overheard, she was dealing with vampirism and Tyler’s transformation but Matt didn’t know anything about that so she just came across to him as hot and cold, he didn’t have context --- but he loved her anyway

With regards to when he finds out she’s a vampire, I like how people are more pressed about Matt being involved in trying to take her down when he has no frame of reference for vampires other than the fact that one killed his sister and they’re not like, wow Liz, that’s your daughter, but I also like how as they ‘grow up’ and become entrenched in the Supernatural, despite the fact that Matt consistently says he wants nothing to do with it, both of them look out for each other

6. Klaroline

I’m pretty indifferent to Klaroline, I don’t have strong feelings about them but I have maintained that they are better than Delena

Even Klaroline does a better job with that dynamic and those kinds of arguments than Delena because you see Caroline be like “I can’t do this, why the fuck am I even here?” every time they’re together  

the dynamic DE was supposed to have better, the “fiery” “passionate” thing works for them because they know how to argue and because they play up the conflict

I’ve also maintained they have good chemistry: and yet their chemistry begins winning me over in the scene and I think what really sells it is that Candice reacts to the phone call in a way I’ve only seen Caroline react to Klaus and it’s this sort of… she catches her breath/is stunned

I have a vid that’s basically just of their gazes because they’re always charged, they have a very seductive chemistry and it suits their dynamic because the more Caroline interacts with Klaus, the more she’s drawn to him and that shows with the kind of chemistry they have where, as someone who is quite indifferent to their dynamic, the more they interact onscreen the more I want them to remain onscreen, I start off unimpressed (much like Caroline) and move toward being engaged (again like Caroline) and like I said, they do their dynamic well too, Caroline’s annoyed-but-charmed and Klaus’ arrogant-but-charming

(although their physical chemistry is not great) I just don’t think they have any real narrative.

7. Simara

This is purely about Dobsley chemistry: I have spoken about Silas and Amara quite a bit actually, but honestly, mostly in relation to the chemistry between Paul and Nina because I think that the SIlas and Amara storyline is textually weak and it felt rushed, there isn’t much nuance so I don’t find their story particularly tragic because we didn’t spend enough time on it but I still find them tragic because of how Paul and Nina played the tragedy.

Like it was a storyline that just let Paul and Nina do their magic onscreen,

they didn’t have to try to undercut it with dialogue or anything so I appreciate Simara because I love seeing Nina and Paul working together but in terms of the content, I’m like I don’t really care.

Last: Delena/Bonenzo/Steroline

You can look at the masterlists!

#stelena #forwood #maroline #beremy #stebekah #steferine #simara #the vampire diaries #tvd

[sanktagenyas]

ok so i finally watched those last three episodes. i said buckle up it’s time to suffer and by the saints did i ever suffer. i just knew the darklina scenes were gonna be rough to watch. it was already rough reading the scenes as they were written in book one. i mean the darkling just shines with his intelligence in that chapter, doesn’t he? threaten the man she loves? well the other man she loves? check! tell her she betrayed you when the reality is you’ve been telling half truths all along and didn’t trust her to make her choices? check! 

buddy this isn’t how you apologize. in the show itself it’s pretty much the same back and forth that leads nowhere. you lied to me! you ran off because my mother told you i’m not who i say i am without giving me a chance to explain! you’ve been lying or bending the truth since we met! YOU TURNED YOUR BACK ON YOUR COUNTRY!

by that point i was just like chill the fuck out man you’re about to decimate many many countrymen and you know it. i loved that the stop they made was all about him getting revenge on the man who attempted on alina’s life, that was very unhinged of him and i was HERE for that shit but everyone else in that port? every other woman and child and man on that port? not all of them played a hand and he just went ahead and had them slaughtered without batting an eye. and it’s not like he has some kind of safeguard for grishas does he? how does he know there’s no grisha wherever he’s expanding the fold? some could be in hiding because they fled, because they didn’t want to serve the king. oh well he doesn’t really care about those people does he? we all saw how he spoke about those deserters to arken.

also he could NOT handle alina’s harsh truths about how his own actions are harming grisha close to him even though he claims that every choice he’s made was to protect them and empower them. when she brought up genya i was like yes you better look down you motherfucker! you did this to her, you delivered to her abuser over and over. 

we saw his backstory, some of it and he acted out of grief and rage. he toyed with magic he did not understand and of course he didn’t intend this but his reaction to the fold once it was all said and done was definitely foreshadowing what he was to become. i created something he said defiantly. you created something you don’t have control over. and now he’s done it again somehow, he’s got brand new creatures following him at the end.

i actually felt for young aleksander for losing the woman he loved but the arrogance and the recklessness he showed there is still the same arrogance he has now. he thinks he has thought his plan through but that’s just working off the assumption that no one opposes him ever otherwise he went ahead and put a target on grisha’s backs. he definitely put a target on alina’s back although i know that was never the plan. the fact that when he has a perfectly good remedy to the fold, a chance to actually fix his mistakes once and for all he turns its back and decides to make it ten times worse, chooses ruling via fear over hope is jusr a sign of how far he’s gone. and he didn’t waver once not even when alina was pleading with him that he could have made her his equal, that they could have stayed together and made ravka safe together if only he gave her a choice, he was still manipulative and lied to her face.

at this point i just don’t think his love for her outweighs his belief that he knows what’s best for ravka, what’s the best way to protect grisha. because he doesn’t care about anyone who isn’t grisha at all. he was persecuted like so many others. he won a war for a king centuries and that king turned on him. i’m sure he’s looking at the current one knowing that once grisha have exhausted their uses that king will turn on him too. the fold is just a different kind of war and if he wins that one for the king the darkling already knows what the outcome will be. 

so to summarize this whole darkling commentary here i understand where he is coming from, i understand the fear and the rage and the desperation. it’s not working out for him though. he’s feared but he’s alone. for every ivan there’s a zoya. for every man who’s blindly loyal to him there’ll be someone rising up to oppose him eventually. and if it’s not his own people it’ll be non grisha folks. he has the second army working for him still, but he is alone. and that’s no one’s fault but his own because alina was willing to work with him. 

speaking of alina i loved every second of her rising up to oppose him telling him she never needed him. she may have fallen in love with him but she never actually needed him to be powerful, she only needed to free herself of the restraints she’d put on her powers out of fear. i also thought that the way she freed herself of his control made more sense than it did in the books. 

i have hope for darklina still despite all that’s happened despite how positively full of rage ans resentment she is because she still loves him, she still listened when he pleaded with her that they needed each other if they wanted to deal with the fold. of course there’s the slight issue of him lying directly and manipulating her to do his bidding and of course the fact that he took her power from her. the only thing that was her and he perverted it for his own gain. i think it just might take more than a year for her to forgive him i’m afraid. i don’t necessarily see a path to redemption right now but reconciliation? alina can be merciful, she can be forgiving. i think all it would really take is just one selfless act, one show of good faith. if he keeps pursuing her and mal and keep trying to rob her of her agency however i don’t see them ever having any kind of closure.

i don’t think i need to expand much more on my thoughts on malina. i’m not feeling what the show wants me to feel. i’m not seeing them as these soulmates that belong together. to me they’d be better of as best friends. the darkling didn’t make her strong he tried to steal her strength for his own use but mal doesn’t make her strong either, she relies too much on him. mal actually was pretty damn resourceful when left on his own. i unfortunately couldn’t say the same for alina. co-dependant love is not better than toxic love and darklina’s toxicity (most of it) comes from the lies and from the darkling repeatedly choosing for alina. he’s not brave enough to just tell her what he intends to do and let her decide whether to align herself with him so he lies and he deceives instead. not much he can do to undo it now but he could help actually destroy the fold if he wanted to. i don’t know if he’ll ever come around to it though.

the darkling visiting mal with the sole purpose to rub it in his face that alina and he are immortal and so eventually mal will die and then he could just swoop in was just peak comedy. the way he delivered that line too you’d think he was talking to an insect not another human being. it was brilliant. mal echoing that same line but ending it with “the past will do it for me” was pretty good, nice quip i’ll give mal that but also terribly ironic when you see the ending.

team crows remains the highlight for me. kaz and inej and their unspoken love for each other is just killing me. i can tell there are personal traumas there that i don’t know about (gotta read those damn books and quick) what with kaz not being able to help tend to her wounds and the fact that there were moments were i could see there was maybe a kiss about to happen or an embrace (at the end when kaz let alina go free and made a deal not to rat her out) and it just didn’t happen. there’s a story there about kaz and his distaste for being touched/touching others. jesper is just here to look pretty, shoot shit and be the most charming person in any crowd. i’m in love. also someone give him his goat back for the love of god.

nina and mathias were entertaining for sure. with all that banter and all these jabs i should have really seen them falling for one another coming. i felt like it was perhaps a bit rushed but i guess there’s nothing like almost freezing to death together to make you reconsider your views. you know the whole saving of lives thing can really bond you. the waffle date was adorable. was not expecting nina to just brand herself a traitor for him and she’s damn lucky fyedor came on that mission because i’m pretty sure ivan wouldn’t even have offered to keep her name out of the report. she and mathias ended their story both heartbroken and separated. i really hate that he thinks this was all intentional. really hope she’ll join the crows on their next con job. and i also cannot wait to see the look on heleen’s face when kaz buys inej’s freedom.

i was not at all expecting zoya to turn against the darkling. that’s what happens when you turned down one of your fuck buddies, aleksander they get bitter and then they leave you to be eaten alive by volcras. ok but in all seriousness she did the right thing and i hope she finds her family even if they’re not alive so she can say her goodbyes. 

oh and completely unrelated but since i talked about heights of comedy before i really need more sassy! darkling in my life. he is everything. that quip about his speech. the way he said adorable like he was gagging on the word. him just letting david be his dorkiest self and raise his hand before speaking, that little put upon sigh. i love sassy! darkling almost as much as jealous and petty darkling which is saying a lot. just more of that. it humanizes him, i’m tired of villains who are forever stoic and stone face. 

i think i about covered everyone and everything that happened in those remaining episodes. all in all shadow and bone is an amazing adaptation, really faithful to the first book. they made some changes to the characters which in turn changed some dynamics (alina actually admitted she wanted to be with the darkling. out loud. to his face. book!alina would never and book!darkling would never cry in front of her.) but it made for surprising viewing. it also made me become even more attached to some characters (the darkling let’s be real) which made me care more which is why i was livid when they started making a lot of terrible no good choices.

i was just really blown away by this show and the way the grishaverse was brought to life and above all major props to the actors who all just seemed to be born to play their respective roles. 

#shadow and bone spoilers #sab spoilers #darklina #alina starkov #aleksander morozova #inej ghafa #nina zenik #mathias helvar #jesper fahey #kaz brekker #zoya nazyalensky

[deans-haunted-baby]

Curious. What do you mean by Dust till Dawn going against it's Characters? I know I have my own feelings, or confusion, with how they left Kate's story.

From Dusk Till Dawn effectively character assassinated every single character in the very last episode including Kate Fuller. No one is acting like themselves in that series finale it's like some deranged fanfic writer came aboard and hijacked the show while no one was looking. If you thought 15x18 & 15x19 of Supernatural were bad and believe me they really are; those episodes are minorly salvageable against the slaughterhouse that Dusk 3x10 was. It utterly contradicts and ignores everything the show put forward in all 3 seasons. I will never watch that episode again.

I'll first explain what that piece of shit did to the show's lead protagonists, the Gecko brothers. Regardless of how you or anyone else feels about Supernatural's series finale; that show was a saint to Sam and Dean's storyline beginning to end compared to how From Dusk Till Dawn definitively butchered Richie and Seth. I'm sad saying this because Zane Holtz and DJ Controna are outstanding as these characters. I freaking love their chemistry man, it's a great rival to J2! They're the badass dark clones of the Winchesters.  Their arc starts out fascinatingly complex because they went from cold-blooded criminals/bad guys and meanwhile during their escape over the Mexican border with this hostage family the audience is told pretty quick by Professor Aiden Tanner that the Geckos are destined to become these foresworn warriors The Mayan Hero Twins in an ancient prophecy (based on real Mesoamerican lore) who battle the Underworld. So right away the show is telling us ahead where Seth and Richie are suppose to end up in their journey and when you introduce a storyline this big I expect a satisfying payoff.

At the end of season 1, Richie Gecko is *SPOILER ALERT* transformed into a culebra (snake-vampire) while Seth Gecko remains human symbolizing their night and day Hero Twin counterparts from the legend. And they're separated in the first half of season 2 where both try to navigate this new supernatural world they've stumbled on individually. What they find, no different than the Winchesters, is that neither can function properly without the other making their destiny all the more valid. That season is practically constructed like their swan song to the criminal lifestyle since the brothers are meant to become more than crooks; and since Richie's a vampire they can't ever go back to basics. Their adopted father aka uncle Eddie actually says the line "this is my swan song" in 2x07 to Seth and Richie in reference to their final heist together which is not a coincidence. That's the writers telling us that the Gecko Brothers' role in the show is going to shift from anti-heroes to heroes very soon. Eddie and Kate Fuller's fates in S2 act as the primary catalysts for this transition taking shape in the finale.

Going into season 3 it's business as usual for the boys until the prophecy of the twins officially rips a hole in the damn universe via demon queen Amaru. Who's now possessing Kate. Throughout that season Seth and Richie embark on a journey of heroism; find themselves battling monsters, actually saving civilians and dealing with their own personal demons (guilt and remorse over past sins). That year is presented as their redemption arc and final phase into their new role. No one ever tells them about their destiny (despite most of the other characters knowing) but we as the audience are already aware as we watch the brothers in action. The best episode is without a doubt 3x06 the crown jewel of From Dusk Till Dawn because it's about overcoming the darkness inside. And who best represents that than Richie; the show's most important central character whom began the series as a deadly clairvoyant criminal into the tortured vampire hero struggling with his own humanity. Now I won't spoil the whole episode for anyone who hasn't seen it or the show in general but it's an incredible moment of character development for both the Gecko brothers. Not only does it cement their powerful bond it's the episode that defines who these two are once and for all. The ones who lead the battle between good and evil; keep the balance of light and darkness. One day I plan to do an entire analysis of that episode because it's so fucking brilliant and shot so incredibly eerie at the same time 😁

You want to know what 3x10 does to these characters? It shits all over their entire storyline and pisses away THREE FUCKING SEASONS of character development. Just flushes it all down the toilet rendering everything they've ever done up to that point completely pointless! Their destiny which is the WHOLE POINT OF THE SHOW is suddenly dropped last minute and the Geckos hit reset on their former criminal escapades; dragging Kate along with them. I hate that finale with the fire of a thousand suns for what it does to Richie and Seth 😡

Moving on to Carlos Madrigal. He is the best villain character in the history of show villains hands down. I can actually say that without blinking. Wilmer Valderama is phenomenal, he steals the show as Carlos. He's is so freaking awesome, evil and badass! I just want to keep seeing this man tear things apart while being the sexy asshole he is 😈For all intents and purposes I don't want to spoil his whole storyline on the show for those following me in case they're interested. But what I will say is 3x10 destroys this character; so don't watch it if you want to keep the memory of who he was alive. I'm actually depressed over what was done to him as much as I feel sorry for Wilmer having to perform that shitty script. It's laughable in a very bad way. Gotta hand it to the writers and showrunners of FDTD they certainly knew how to humiliate their best characters in this series. Carlos basically goes from charismatic yet lethal Hannibal Lecter to a very captain obvious Gandolf caricature. Yah you heard that right, it's really fucking sad.

Next we have Freddie Gonzalez; the audience's avatar into the series. This character is connected to everyone on the show for a reason because of the crucial part he plays in this universe. The "Peacekeeper" destined to police the line between the supernatural world from the human world. In the beginning he's a Texas deputy on a quest to avenge the murder of his father figure/partner Earl McGraw via the Gecko Brothers. But once he steps in that territory of monsters there's no going back. And FDTD repeatedly tells him and the audience this in the first 2 seasons. But then 3x10 pulls the ultimate fuckery by giving him the most cliched, nonsensical hallmark ending effectively cancelling out his entire purpose in the series. He instantly forgets that he ever cared about Kate, watching her bleed out on the ground, then leaves the Geckos high and dry rushing his family (who isn't injured) to the hospital. And he stays there while the battle continues 😣

Kate and Scott Fuller OMG words cannot describe my anger over what was done to them so I'll make it fast. I'll begin with Kate the bright light and heart of the series. Her arc in the first two seasons is excellent. It's emotionally driven because she begins as an ordinary girl in broken yet seemingly-happy family to a young woman finding her way around the supernatural world maintaining her faith and moral compos while trying to help her brother after he's *SPOILER ALERT* been turned into a vampire; paralleling the Geckos's situation. Scott being only a 16 year old kid, like Richie, struggles immensely after his transformation; searching for meaning as a cursed individual and coping with his duality. He was already different to begin with so being a vampire adds some interesting layers to his character.

Btw Kate plays a vital role in Richie and Seth's lives, though in my opinion is more strongly connected to Richie. The show even goes as far as developing the early glimpses of a romantic arc between Kate and Richie (seeing as they kiss twice) with angst at the end of season 2 that is never resolved. You want to know why it wasn't? Not only does season 3 mute Kate's voice and agency but 3x10 ruins her character and demolishes her whole arc with Richie (who spent all of season 3 trying to save her) at the last second due to fan pressure of those who shipped her with Seth. They don't exchange one word nor barely look at one another it's like seasons 1&2 never happened. This is the biggest fuck you to fans of these characters I've ever witnessed in a series and they did my boys Adam and Michael so dirty in Supernatural. Poor Scott whom the show enjoyed kicking around all season barely gets a thing to do in that series finale either than listening to his sister and Seth gab about prom lol. Yah you heard me I'm not making this shit up I swear. Then he gets abandoned by Kate while she goes off to be a bank robber with the character assassinated versions of Seth and Richie. How extraordinary 😖

Santanico Pandemonium is really the only character in the series who manages to get out unscathed. HOWEVER her arc is handled very poorly beginning to end. They set up an arc between her and Seth that also goes absolutely nowhere. Give her zero closure with Richie whom she sired, dated and used in S2. And randomly throw her in a scene with Kate that makes no fucking sense after these two had nothing to do with one another all series. On top of that Santanico is barely in season 3 so by the time the show wraps her arc feels incomplete.

Other characters go missing that no one notices, the new bad guy whom they've set up at the end is just left hanging. And Richie Gecko, you know the show’s other lead, is horribly sidelined after 3x06 to make way for the Seth Gecko solo show. When I say FDTD series finale is bad I mean it's really fucking terrible and blasphemous.

#from dusk till dawn: the series #from dusk till dawn #richie gecko #seth gecko #kate fuller #carlos madrigal #fdtd #scott fuller #kichie #richiekate #seth x richie #freddie gonzalez #Santanico Pandemonium #anti fdtd 3x10 #the Gecko brothers

[mcrrisons]

wooo hi friends!! s here FINALLY dropping this intro, you’ll now know that i’m late to everything O:) i have insane muse for this type of character so i’m sooo excited to be here! any questions lmk but now ........... *rubs hands together like a fly* let’s get to plotting

@mapleviewstarters​

『 travis fimmel. fourty-six. cismale. he/him. 』 oh heavens, is that WELLS MORRISON from CHESTNUT DRIVE i see roaming around mapleview? minnie may’s always calling them -BELLIGERENT & -CONTRITE. i happen to think they’re not that bad! they���re a pretty cool at COLLECTING UNEMPLOYMENT and every time i’ve seen them, they’ve always been +CAPTIVATING & +OPEN-MINDED. i hope i see them around again! 

TW: ALCOHOLISM, DEATH, ABUSE

GETTING TO KNOW WELLS

full name: wells irving morrison

age / birthdate / sign: 45 / november 18, 1974 / scorpio

gender / pronouns: cismale / he/him

orientation: hetero

height: 6′2″

hair color: dirty blond, some gray growing in

tattoos: a lot of drunken tats over the years, either cheap ones or ones that his buddies did for him for free. most of the actual WANTED ones covered up some scars he chose to ignore

drinks / smokes / drugs: big yes to all, no one left behind - but alcohol and cigarettes daily as those are more acceptable and easier to get

occupation: although collecting unemployment from the government, he often has plenty of odd jobs to make money under the books. 

residence: mapleview, born and raised. still lives in the same plot of houses his great great bought / built years ago.

alignment: chaotic evil (but he tries his best............ ok)

parents: hank (deceased) & caroline morrison 

siblings: 2 brothers (jeremiah & tucker) and 1 sister (addison) that he KNOWS of

children: lane morrison (intro here), and probably a few others but that’s for future plots!!

WHAT’S HIS STORY ?

wells’ blood runs thick through this town to a long line of morrisons, and they sure as hell make SURE everyone knows it. rumors have flown around about the morrison family for generations, eyes roll when they enter a space (at least in wells’ experience) & they own a reputation of chaos. scaring away newcomers just by being themselves. and of course, like it was in his dna, wells’ actions would align with those that preceded him.

he grew up on a plot of land bought many moons ago by his great great ... grandfather / uncle /  (the story changes every time he hears it) w/ a few trailer-like one story homes with broken screen doors & random “antiques” in the yard aka things that people in fair lane were throwing out that everyone THOUGHT would be needed one day. (still lives here btw!!!)

growing up around family was FINE but it reminded him of his destination - what he was going to end up like anyway, DESPITE being kinda smart in school & having larger dreams. the family was scrappy, deceitful; wells learned at an early age how to manipulate people to get what he wanted. he was taught how to STEAL, lie, charm, and how to get by with what they had.

wells spent most of his childhood at his uncle’s home, just a few minute walk away on the plot bc his own home wasn’t ideal. he looked up to the guy A LOT, but hasn’t spoken since he left mapleview for bigger and better things when wells was just 15.

his father, a returned drafted vietnam vet, took out the anger of what he witnessed / how he was treated / how life was UNFAIR out on his family, and often times physically. he wasn’t involved in wells’ life all too much, only when he needed something or wanted to let off some steam. 

his mother was a caring & loving woman, also mapleview grown (the two had been high school sweethearts), but loyal to a FAULT, always choosing her husband to back. 

screams, crashes, fights, fires - you name it. needless to say, that plot of morrison homes never had it quiet, easy. cops knew everyone by first and last name and could drive the route from the station to the morrison’s home with their eyes closed.

wells’ father DIED when he was 19 (although wells hadn’t considered him alive for a while) & no one knew HOW so there was never any closure for him, his mother, his fam... all his death provided was another source for the rumor mill surrounding the morrisons. was it a bad bar fight ? did he have a bad fall ? wrong pills ? some say his mother was a killer but he knew better than that.

wells’ mother is still live & somewhat well, living with his brother in a house about 20 minutes away. at her old age, it’s hard for her to do things on her own and it was decided that wells - the youngest of his generation - wouldn’t be able to care after her, let alone care for himself. she’s been there for about 10 years now and still complains every minute.

ok back to our boy. somehow wells managed to destroy every good thing that ever came his way. self-destructive due to self-hatred and REGRET which never got better as he got older and continued to well, destroy things. a slippery slope, for sure.

alongside his uncle, always dreaming of getting out of this small town, wells was good ENOUGH at school and that was his way. but of course it didn’t happen: 1. he fell into fulfilling prophecy of his predecessors, 2. he had not a PENNY to his name to leave (i.e. gambling addiction), 3. he had a child in his early twenties, 4. he tried to fight the admissions counselor at the nearby community college

having some sort of love in his life. didn’t happen: 1. he pushed/pushes everyone that dare get too close (mostly selfishly), 2. couldn’t change his addictive personality (i.e. alcoholism), 3. began to resemble his father, 4. has 0 emotional intelligence and cannot touch feelings/emotions

to get a job and be a normal person in society. didn’t happen bc: 1. has a narcissist complex, 2. would steal from the cash register, 3. would hit on customers, 4. doesn’t understand paying “taxes”

more to add here

BASICALLY, he’s lived a life. he acts as though his life is already over, there’s nothing to lose, nothing to gain and this is just how it will be for the rest of his time on earth. he’s despondent and lives far too much in the PAST, blaming himself for everything that came his way (but ok he’s not too far off tbh).

although MANY a regret linger in his mind before sleep, his largest regret is losing his family - the love of his life who LEFT the two high and dry just after about a year together and his son who moved out at just 16. the mother of his child was the only person he remembers that saw him for more than rumors, his facade and became a good influence to him - but OF COURSE he fucked that one up and she left. he blames himself big time, but would never show that. only hatred her way aloud. 

his son, lane, left while still a boy just like himself, and it HURT to think that the apple hardly fell from the tree above, not able to be a good father. never TAUGHT how to be one. manipulative to a fault, wells would always say the younger was never appreciative, never UNDERSTOOD... and he’d convince himself that his son hated him as much as he hates himself. he’ll also say he’s the only reason he’s still alive. LOVE / HATE seems to blur so often for the old man here. always did.

the only constant throughout his life has been alcohol. the morrison’s start off early of course, and wells was drinking/etc on his own by the time he was 12. UNLESS you count the bourbon his father would feed him to sleep as a baby. what started off as social and partying as he grew older, became something much more ugly. his body didn’t just crave it, it NEEDED it to function by the time he was in his early twenties. it was easier to hide it then, all young and into a good time but it wouldn’t just last for weekends. he’d need a drink to get by mentally, and physically and became fully dependent. a depressant to match his mental illness.

WHO IS HE ?

he has a DEEP southern accent with a hard RASP that sounds as though he smokes a pack a day (because he does). 

despite graduating high school (i KNOW, believe it), he doesn’t have a vocabulary too wide and will use larger words incorrectly all the time.

can have a bit of an old grumpy man aesthetic, easily belligerent, even though he’s only in his 40s and can be charming as hell too (that smile!!!! ok!!! knows how to manipulate.)

he doesn’t trust the government at ALL and is a bit of a conspiracy theorist, despite collecting money from the government each week for unemployment. he refuses to pay taxes so only does jobs under the books. will go on a tangent about how the government is creating diseases, hiding aliens; eat the rich, etc... he also doesn’t trust cops at all, despite being picked up and taken home by them at least once a week.

grew up on rock and roll! had a band in the 80s where he could’ve SWORN they’d be rich and famous. long hair, tight pants, acting out - wannabe motley crue.

drives (ILLEGALLY) an old ford from the 70′s that somehow still works, after losing his license years ago from too many DWIs. 

i assume all of the town knows him as the town DRUNK. maybe it used to be funny back in the day, but now it’s just really SAD. he’s a nuisance. 

WHO DOES HE KNOW ?

y/c HIRED him for some odd jobs, must be under the table.

HIGH SCHOOL BUDDIES who also stayed around mapleview. they can be friendly, enemies now, distanced, a lot to do here.

a BROTHER / step (which i might submit to the main :))

a ONE-NIGHT stand

a GOOD INFLUENCE who tries their best to get him working towards something better. fair warning, this would 9.99/10 times not work.

where wells is the BAD INFLUENCE to y/c, convincing them to drink a ton, giving horrible advice when they’re in their most vulnerable state.

a STORE OWNER that has banned wells from entering their establishment due to a prior mishap.

a DEALER of all things wells shouldn’t, but does.

THE HILLS by the weeknd - a plot where these two are hooking up or together but only in secret. whether that’s because they’re in different socioeconomic classes, have a bad history, the other is cheating... they have to hide.

WHITE KNUCKLES - they’ve previously had a bar fight, are known enemies. could’ve been something said about his family, his past.

#°。°。°。𝒾𝓃𝓉𝓇𝑜. °。°。°。 #tw alcoholism #tw abuse #tw death #ugh yes his icon rn is a dumpster but i'll change it as soon as i open up photoshop and make a new pretty dash icon #but for now #it just Makes Sense :)

[sunlightdances]

At Peace (Steve Rogers x Reader One Shot)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader Rating/genre: Romance, a bit of angst. PG for a single swear word. Summary: Sort of Endgame compliant (we’re rewriting a scene and keeping some folks alive). When Steve and Tony go to Camp Lehigh to get the Tesseract, they’re almost caught. Steve turns to the one person he thinks can help them get out unscathed, and finally closes the one remaining door to his past so he can move on in the future. Author’s Note: No Endgame hate here, please! I didn’t hate the ending for Steve, but didn’t love it either. This is my take on what could have happened with the addition of a reader insert. I came up with this idea in the shower and wrote it in 2 hours so pls be nice if it sucks!!!!

“You know,” Tony muses on Steve’s right, “You’re not normally the one with the stupid ideas. It’s a nice change, honestly.”

Steve rolls his eyes, but the pair keep walking, eyes downcast, hats pulled low over their foreheads. Yes, this is probably the worst idea and it’s sure to screw the whole plan. But what else do they have to lose?

“That woman from the elevator is already onto us, so this is our best shot.”

“It’s our best shot to get arrested, yes.”

Steve stops short, jaw clenching hard. “Do you have a better idea?”

Tony sighs. “I guess not. Come on, let’s go meet your woman--”

Steve stops short again, his tone icy. “Don’t--” He shuts his eyes. “Please, Tony, for once in your life, leave the talking to me.” There’s a sad undertone to his voice, a kind of desperation that Tony doesn’t hear often, so he nods, leaving the jokes behind.

Steve finds the office door he’s looking for, and takes a deep breath before opening it and shoving Tony inside, locking the door behind the both of them.

Peggy stands, affronted. “Excuse me, this is a private office--” She stops as Steve steps into the light, her eyes widening for half a second before they narrow.

Steve isn’t sure which Peggy to expect. He doesn’t think she’s going to break down and cry, but he’s also not entirely sure she’s not going to shoot him either. Tony takes a large step back when she glances down and grabs the first thing she can threaten them with - a letter opener.

“Tell me who you are, right now.” Her voice is stern, though a little shaky.

“Peggy, put it down.”

“If you think--”

“It’s me, Peg. It’s Steve.”

He sees her shoulders sag, though she doesn’t drop her guard. “You’re dead.”

“Not anymore,” Tony mutters, and Steve elbows him hard in the ribs.

“I know this is hard to believe, but I can prove it,” Steve says, taking a small step forward, heart tightening when she takes an imperceptible step backward. “That last conversation we had, when I was in the plane. I told you I’d meet you at the Stork Club. That we’d have the band play something slow so I wouldn’t step on your feet.” He smiles softly. “Remember?”

“Of course I remember, you idiot.” She says, voice choked, a single tear making its way down her cheek, despite the letter opener she’s still brandishing.

“I don’t have a lot of time, but I need your help,” Steve says as he gets a step closer, close enough to gently grasp her wrist and lower it.

“Steve.” She says on a sob, and then she’s in his arms.

.

.

.

“Let me get this straight. You need to steal the cube and something from Hank Pym’s lab?” Peggy asks incredulously.

Tony snorts. “After everything you’ve heard, and that’s the part you’re not sure about?”

She gives Tony a look. “Mr. Stark, you may be your father’s son, but you’ll have to forgive me if I don’t find your jokes all that hilarious at the moment.”

Steve bites back a smile. “I know we’re asking a lot,” he says, serious once more, “but the entire world is at stake. Please, we have to get out of here unseen. If we fail at this--”

“We’re not going to.” Tony says, firm. “There’s no other option.” He meets Steve’s eyes. “Whatever it takes, remember?”

Steve swallows. All the arguments and years lost between him and Tony evaporate. Just like that, they’re brothers in arms once more. “Whatever it takes,” he murmurs.

Meeting Peggy’s gaze, she looks between the two, and Steve thinks he sees in the moment when it clicks for her how serious this is. “First of all, stop talking about the future in front of me. I’ve read enough novels to know that isn’t a good idea, and the two of you don’t need to get in any more trouble, clearly.”

“So you’ll help?”

She fidgets. “Yes. I’ll help you. I’ll schedule a meeting with Howard and Hank so they won’t be near their labs when you go down. I can’t do much about security, so you’ll have to be quick and stay out of sight.”

Steve nods, “Thank you.”

.

.

.

It’s not until over an hour later, after some sneaking around, some nearly getting caught, and Peggy having to save their asses yet again, that he gets a minute alone with her.

“I just wanted to-- I have to go back, but I couldn’t leave without telling you something.”

“Steve, don’t.”

“No, it’s-- it’s nothing that’s going to change anything.” Steve smiles. “I just want you to know-- I loved you, Peg. Still do, really.” He takes a deep breath. “Probably always will.”

“Steve,” it’s a warning, but there’s old feelings there that he can hear in her voice. “Then I need you to know -- I’m happy, Steve. You saved my life. You saved all of our lives. And I miss you terribly. Underneath it all, you were my closest friend.” Another tear slips out. “And I love you too, Steve. But you have to know that I’m happy. I found someone, and I have a career that I love… you did exactly what you were supposed to do. You saved the world.”

Steve’s eyes are a little glassy, but he hardens his resolve. “I have someone, now. In my time.” He shrugs. “I think, anyway. It’s been-- what we’re going through right now has been hard. I haven’t had the guts to have the conversation with her yet.”

Peggy smiles. “Still have no idea how to talk to women?”

Steve rolls his eyes, but chuckles. “I guess not.”

“You should be happy, Steve.” Peggy’s voice is soft.

Steve’s mind drifts to you, how happy you already make him, even if you don’t realize how much. He has so much he needs to talk to you about, but he has to keep you alive first. He has to keep himself and his family alive.

“Thanks, Peggy.” He says, and pulls her into his arms one last time.

.

.

.

They did it.

They actually fucking did it.

Steve has never been more tired in his entire life. He’s exhausted, and every single bone in his body hurts. He’s on his knees next to Tony who is barely hanging on, and has to take a minute to let it all sink in.

They won.

There’s voices all around him, frantic, asking about the cradle, and if the medical bay survived the explosion, and Steve has to fight to get back into Captain mode and save his friend’s life.

On his right, Natasha limps forward, her cheek bleeding, but a bittersweet smile on her face. “You did it,” she whispers, and Steve shakes his head.

“We did.”

He and Scott and Rhodey get Tony somewhere safe, and Bruce manages to stabilize him, despite knowing he’s going to lose functionality in a lot of his arm.

“I’ll just get one to match Tin Man, it’s fine,” Tony mumbles, and that’s when they all know he’s going to be okay. Leaving Pepper and Peter with Tony, Steve sets off to find the one person he had to force himself not to look for during the fight.

Some of the Wakandans are setting up a triage area in parts of the compound, and he passes through them as he scans the crowd until he spots you.

You’re there with Sam, his arm slung around your waist, yours over his shoulder, keeping all your weight off one leg. His breath leaves him when your eyes meet his, and he’s moving before he can even comprehend what he’s doing.

Your name escapes on a breath when he’s close enough, and then you’re letting go of Sam, almost collapsing into Steve’s arms.

“Steve,” you say, “You’re alive.”

“So are you,” he says, your face pressing into the side of his neck as you embrace. Steve shudders, thinking how close it could have been to losing you forever.

He finally has closure with Peggy, but he almost didn’t have it with you. He can’t make that mistake again.

He meets Sam’s eyes and nods, holding you to his side as he tries to give a half-hug to his friend, his heart overflowing with relief.

“Bucky?” He stutters, grief eating at him when he doesn’t see his oldest friend anywhere amongst the crowd.

“He was helping people get inside,” you say quietly, “He’s probably in there.”

Steve’s eyes fall closed at one more confirmation that so far everyone he loves is in one piece. “Of course he is,” he laughs quietly, “he’s just hoping there’s nurses there.”

“I heard that,” a gruff voice says behind him, and then there it is, the final piece of his family clicking into place.

The residences are part of the only bit of the compound that wasn’t destroyed by the explosion. Steve hasn’t been to his room in months - only when he would come by to check on Nat, and when they started work on time travel.

It’s a little strange for him to be in here now, but his focus isn’t on that. You were exhausted and after being told (none too gently) by Pepper that there wasn’t anything else for him to do now, he carried you back here.

He can’t seem to let you out of his sight.

He’s bone tired too, and the prospect of a nap with you is too much to resist. He carries you bridal style through the dark living area and kitchen until he reaches his bedroom, the sheets tucked neatly into the corners, army style.

You stir in his arms slightly, but otherwise stay asleep. He sets you down and gets you situated before straightening, his eyes committing every bit of this scene to memory. You have stitches on your cheekbone and dark circles under your eyes, and Steve curses himself for not checking in with you more, making sure you were okay…

He shakes his head and tries to quiet his thoughts. A shower first, and then he’s going to join you, propriety be damned.

His own body is tired, the serum working overtime to heal the cuts and bruises scattered across his arms and torso. His left hand is likely broken, he thinks, remembering it shaking when he tried to take off his broken shield.

He’ll worry about it in the morning. Right now he has more important things to sort out.

He’s only gone for fifteen minutes, but it’s enough for you to be awake when he comes back to the bedroom, and there’s a minute where you both stop and stare at each other, time suspended.

“Hey,” you say, and he crosses the room to sit at the edge of the bed.

“Hi.”

“Long day,” you sigh, winking at him.

“The longest.” He agrees, moving a little closer until you’re shoulder to shoulder.

“I can’t believe we actually pulled it off.”

Steve shakes his head. “I know. I’m-- You have no idea how relieved I was to see you.” He hears Peggy’s voice in his head telling him to finally have this conversation. He can’t put it off anymore. He’s done wasting time.

“Me too, Steve.”

He reaches for your hand, lacing your fingers together. “I hope I’m not getting this all wrong. I-- I’ve been meaning to thank you.”

Your hand shakes a little in his. “Thank me?”

He smiles, nods. “Yeah. Thank you for… for giving me something else to fight for. Something that I never thought I’d have.”

“Steve…”

“Wait, just-- before you say anything, let me get this out.” He tells you everything, about how the trip back in time was with Scott and Tony, and how he had to go back even further and about Peggy. “She basically told me to quit moping and just tell you how I feel.”

You laugh, but it’s a little watery. Steve plows on, “I fell in love with you years ago, and I should have told you from the start. Either one of us could have died today, and I can’t let any more time go by without you knowing how much I care about you.”

Your throat is too tight to say anything, but you pull him close, arms around his torso, soaking up his warmth.

“I’m sorry I’ve been distant,” he says quietly, lips brushing against your neck where his face is pressed. “The last few months… you didn’t deserve that.”

“You were focused on trying to save the world,” you scoff. “As excuses go, that’s a pretty good one.”

Steve pulls back a little so he can meet your eyes. “I don’t know what the future holds for me, but as long as you’re here, I think I can handle it.” He smiles, that crooked smile you’ve grown so fond of. “I’m done trying to make up for the mistakes of the past. I’m ready to move on.”

“Me too, Steve.” You whisper. “I love you.”

Steve knows there’s more to do - he has to help his family and the rest of the world adjust to their new lives post-Thanos, but knowing he finally has all the broken pieces of his life safe, alive, and by his side for the process? It’s more than he could have hoped for.

Going to sleep that night with you in his arms, he finally feels at peace.

#steve rogers x reader #steve x reader #marvel fanfiction

[inwardphae]

Not my Steve (please share!)

Alright, it took me three days to digest Avengers: Endgame enough to be able to write this rant and it’s SOLELY about Steve Rogers. Please, read and share if you agree ‘cause I believe that there are things that Marvel should be made aware of. 

Thanks for the help, love you all xx Obviously, spoilers from now on.

First thing I wanna say is that I loved the movie, I found it a great homage and the rightful conclusion after 11 years of movies, and the right conclusion for so many characters with their specific arc and personal development (never been a fan of Tony Stark, but I truly appreciated his arch in the movie). Except for Steve Rogers. Here’s why.

I found Steve splendid and so well made throughout the whole movie, him trying to help others to move on but at the same time being unable to do it himself exactly because Steve is Steve, because of what he represents. I LOVED the fact that they let him hold Mjolnir -honestly, it was long overdue.  (There’s a bit of a debate about whether or not he should have been able to call the lightning: we know that both Mjolnir and Stormbreaker are catalysts that help Thor direction his own lightning, and in that sense Steve shouldn’t be able to do it. But it’s also true that in the first Thor Odin said “Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor”.)

But let’s get to the true problem, the absolute bullshit, the denial of 10 years of work on the character: THE ENDING. There are literally tons of reasons why this conclusion doesn’t work, let’s start from the more obvious ones. And please, note that I’m saying all this not because I personally ship Stucky -I doubt that any Stucky shipper in their right mind would have expected for it to become canon, honestly-, I’m saying his because I’m a person with eyes and that’s enough to realize that there’s something terribly wrong with this choice. Regardless of whatever I wanted or hoped for Steve in this movie.

I find this conclusion an utter and complete disservice to a character who’s had his arc and a specific characterisation: it negates all the efforts, the pain, all the space in the world that Steve managed to carve out for himself in the 21st century. It’s a disservice to Peggy who loses her autonomy as a character, who loses her personal history -we know from TWS that she was married, with kids at least a niece that we know of, she lived her life. It’s a disservice to her own words “none of us can go back, sometimes the only thing we can do is start over”- WHICH, just to remind everyone, was also a quote used in one of the Endgame teasers. I’m saying all this despite the fact that I personally appreciated Peggy very much and despite having loved Peggy and Steve together at the times of TFA. And moreover, after all the pain, the family that Steve managed to create for himself, the battles he fought, what does Steve do? He goes back? He goes back instead of going forward? Steve, “the kid from Brooklyn too dumb not to run away from a fight”, Steve fucking Rogers RUNS AWAY and goes back to the past? Steve denies himself, abandons everyone and goes to the past? No way, no fucking way. I swear I’ve never seen so much OOC in one scene.

There’s also the problem of the potential huge plot hole. There are two options: let’s break it down.

Option 1: Steve goes back to the 1950s, marries Peggy and, as suggested by the timetravel theory used in the whole movie, he creates an alternative timeline to the main one where they live together. And where he (presumably, I hope) goes to save Bucky to prevent 70 years of torture, brainwashing and conditioning, and to prevent the reconstruction of Hydra. Then again, presumably after Peggy’s death in this alternative timeline, he travels through the quantic realm again and gets back to the main timeline where he meets Sam and Bucky. Problems with this option? Well, it doesn’t contradict the timetravel theory of the movie, but there’s still the problem of the other Steve in the alternative timeline, who’s currently frozen in the Arctic. What happens to him?

Option 2: Steve goes back to the 1950s, marries Peggy, he doesn’t create a different timeline and simply lives his life to the point that he meets with Sam and Bucky in 2023, as it seems to be suggested by the fact that Steve is already there, sitting on the bench, when Bucky spots him. He doesn’t get there through the portal. Problems with this option? TONS. First of all, it contradicts the whole timetravel theory of the movie (see above), it implies that at some point Old Steve and Young Steve must have coexisted, and especially it implies that Steve radically changed the past. If he marries Peggy, Peggy doesn’t marry her husband, and the whole future should change. Does it mean that Steve has been Peggy’s husband all along, like in a time loop? Then does it mean that he kissed his own nephew? Sharon *coughs* Carter? As you can see, there are HUGE problems with this option.

But let’s move on from these incongruences for the moment and let’s get to the other utter bullshit: BUCKY BARNES (how handsome was Sebastian Stan in the three seconds that he was on camera by the way?). Now, whether one believes that between Steve and Bucky there’s a romantic interest or just a platonic, brotherly love, it doesn’t really matter. Bucky and Steve’s dynamic has been the focus of the whole Captain America trilogy, and there’s no denying that. Steve, when he tries to distract his double in the 2012 timeline, says “Bucky’s alive”, and honestly that’s the most honest moment dedicated to their relationship, and Bucky wasn’t even there! They drowned us for a whole trilogy with “I’m with you till the end of the line” moments, and the only thing that they leave us with, and the very end, it’s a come back from the first movie with “Don’t do anything stupid until you get back” and the famous reply “How could I? You’re taking all the stupid with you”, and THAT’S IT? Steve goes to live his life and all the best to everyone? Not even a word once he comes back as Old Steve, he’s just there to pass the shield to Sam?  Bucky, the best friend of a lifetime? Bucky for whom Steve fights against the Avengers? Bucky for whom he’s ready to die, Bucky for whom he’d sacrifice himself thousands of times? Bucky for whom he stormed into a Hydra base without proper training and without even knowing if his friend was alive? Bucky for whom he gave up the shield not once, but twice? No way. No fucking way.

This is not about appreciating Bucky and Steve and their dynamic or not, this is about the absurd choice of denying the entire arc of two characters that occupied the space of a whole trilogy. But why?

And come on, Steve’s at least a hundred years old, probably about to die, and they don’t even exchange a few words? I could have handled something like “Hey pal, we made it to the end of the line", I could have lived with that. But not this way. Some part of me tries to think that if anything, at least Steve got to come home from the war. He lived his life. But it’s so terribly wrong, and Steve would never deny himself and his choices, and not because he can’t live without a war, but because he’s always been true to himself. And he would never leave Bucky behind to go back in time and live a life with a woman that -let’s be honest- he knew for two years back in the 40s and with whom he’s already got closure after her death in CA:CW. He moved on. And so did Peggy, to be perfectly honest. Let’s all remind ourselves how utterly destroyed Steve was after Bucky’s ‘death’ and how much he blamed himself: his guilt is literally what moves the two following movies. But the Russos decided to ignore this.

It’s such a horrible thing to do and it’s so unfair that I feel like I want to cry again. And in all of this, Steve didn’t even die, he’s not dead but he doesn’t even get a closure that works for his character. He’s still there, but he’s not really there anymore, is he? And for all those who keep saying how nice is that he got to dance with Peggy, sure it’s nice. But then you really don’t know Steve Rogers at all.

In conclusion, I loved the movie and I’m totally happy with it as a farewell to the MCU as we know it, as a farewell to characters like Tony and Natasha. The only discordant note, sadly, is Steve and his dynamic with Bucky. I don’t know if the Russos did it cause the shipping fandom made them uncomfortable, and honestly, I don’t even want to know. It’s just something that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive Marvel for. And they need to know.

#notmysteve

#notmysteve #not my steve rogers #avengers 4 #Avengers #avengers: endgame #MCU #Marvel Comics #Marvel Studios #marvel cinematic universe #Marvel MCU #Steve Rogers #Bucky Barnes #stucky #steve x bucky #Chris Evans #Sebastian Stan #spoilers #spoiler #endgame #marvel #marvel endgame #bucky needs a hug #bucky barnes needs a hug

[letromantorchwicklive]

One Thing Analysis

Kill for kill Eye for eye Blood for blood It’s time to die Retribution tastes so sweet

- We've got her clear, unbridled rage peaking through. Neo's on a mission and it's sole purpose is to kill. Not just that, it's a justified hunt. It's fucking retribution. What happened was unjust and wrong, cruel and shouldn't have happened. She doesn't know what else to do, the only thing that's helping her right now is this.

Gone's the light That he gave Now revenge is all I crave Retaliation soon complete

-A good reference to Roman's namesake and insight to just how much he mattered to her. Remnant is consistently referenced both visually and verbally as a world full of darkness. The darkness is given form through the Grimm and Neo's talking about the only light she's had to survive this darkness. Plus! She's admitting to her desperation for revenge and how it drives her. The tag line of "retaliation soon complete" is also showing, very clearly, that she knows her target or targets (I say target, singular tbh) and is closing in. She can touch the end goal, she's almost there. So close she can taste it.

I was nowhere I had no one I felt nothing Lost without a voice and on my own Then the candle's flame Brought a brand new name But now you've stolen everything and I'm all alone

- Neo has now, canonly, had an incredibly lonely life. Either metaphorically (like, poor family life) or literally (STREET RAT STREET RAT). She's felt all alone, choosing to feel nothing rather than constant pain. Pain and suffering, of course, attracting Grimm. She's also canonly mute! Something I know a lot of people have been on the fence about, but lacking a proper way to communicate would easily have isolated her further throughout her life. Roman was the first person to show her genuine positive attention. "Candle's flame" meaning both light and warmth into her life for the first time in- well, ever. "Brand new name" could also be metaphorical. She could be talking about being named, his name, or him bringing new meaning and life to the one she already possessed. Now, the love they shared for one another (in however you see it- excluding Father&Daughter it’s not canon guys they were both adults) is gone and she's been thrust back into the cold dark world Roman helped her to escape in the first place.

I had one thing And you've taken it from me A single light A single friend But you've made that end

- This is pretty straight forward. Neo had one thing in her whole life that mattered- Roman. He was the single most important thing to her to ever exist and she's livid. Not only did she love him and he love her, they were best friends. Equals. Partners. Neo's also staring down at the single person she blames, Cinder. These words blame one person and one person only. This song is introduced at first sight of Cinder, aimed only at Cinder. The wording calls for attack on one person. When Cinder redirects all blame for Roman's death to Ruby, it doesn't pick back up. It's quiet- Neo's thinking. She's making a new game plan, one taking into account Maiden Powers.

There was one thing To help escape the misery And now it's all disarrayed You took my whole life away You've sent me back to nothing Now you'll pay Pay

- A lot of this is straight forward, like the last verse. Roman meant everything to her, he was all she had and the only thing to make her happy. Not happy again, happy period, because she had been so absolutely fucking miserable by herself. Look at Weiss- who grew up alone and miserable aside from her sister. Look at Ren and Nora- who had only each other. Roman and Neo weren’t necessarily the big bad guys we were shown- they were doing their jobs. So many of these little tidbits in the song are alluding to direct correlations in the main cast of heroes, just if they were in a different place and different time. She’s also screaming (repeatedly, might I add) that her whole life is literally in shambles. Nothing makes sense anymore, there’s no structure, no Roman.  Neo says it herself, “You took my whole life away.” Again, this is directed singularly. She’s reinforcing her singular target- Cinder and she will pay.

Life for life Death for death Tit for tat Just one last breath Absolution's nowhere near

- I mentioned it before in my analysis over Cinder and Neo’s brawl, but man is Neo out for fucking blood. This is archaic law, in our world. I mean this literally- Hammurabi’s Code were the first historically proven, written and widely known set of laws. He’s the reason we have the “eye for an eye” saying and Neo is only accepting this kind of justice. As long as Cinder is alive, breathing and even remotely well, Cinder isn’t going to be free of her guilt. The only way that she could ever atone for being the cause of Roman’s death is with her own.

Cue the scene Now it's time Reparation for your crime And judgment day is finally here

- Neo’s become Judge, Jury and Executioner. Will Cinder rise to a good afterlife? That’s none of her business, her business is sending Cinder to wherever she belongs. Neo’s so fucking ready to finish this, to get some closure

I have waited for this meeting For this moment Dreamed about the day I'd make you crawl

- Neo wants more than Cinder’s death. Neo wants begging, pleading, desperation and fear from her. This is probably the only thing that’s kept her going since the Fall of Beacon after finding Roman’s body. This rage is absolutely what fueled her survival through the Grimm infested waste lands that are unoccupied areas of Remnant. Neo wants to make Cinder taste the hell she  put them through and to face the same end that so forced upon Roman after it all.

What a sweet release When you rest in peace Vengeance- Justice- Finally mine And I'll watch you fall

- RIP Cinder, there’s no escaping any of this for you. Neo’s determined, this is the only thing she can focus on, the only thing that brings even the slightest hint of relief in her life without Roman.

I had one thing And you've taken it from me A single light A single friend But you've made that end There was one thing To help escape the misery And now it's all disarrayed You took my whole life away You've sent me back to nothing Now you'll pay

- We’ve returned to the chorus, even angrier this time. Out of everything to receive repetition in this song, this makes the most sense. It’s displaying her grief and rage eloquently while showcasing her determination. Neo’s always been shown as incredibly capable, handling herself well and almost always with a level head. It seems Roman was the key to that- they had a security within each other that kept them both level headed. The thoughts “Roman’s alive” and “Neo’s alive” must have been their calming mantras. Sure, Roman would have instances of frustration, but when it came to battle he was always calm and collected. Even more so when fighting along side Neo, but the moment when his mantra of “Neo is alive” can no longer be taken as fact, or could be in serious jeopardy, his collected demeanor is out the window. This fight against Cinder is has Neo struggling to remain level headed. She’s becoming impatient, itching to finally finish off Cinder, bored that it’s not more fun and still enraged that this woman is so selfish as to not realize why she’s grieving in the first place. Neo’s mantra is gone, and it can never come back.

You destroyed my life After years of suffering Finally had a place to go to But not anymore And now it's war And there won't be peace ’til I get What I came for

- Cinder is responsible, and Neo won’t let her back out of it by throwing the blame onto Ruby like there’s nothing she did wrong. Neo spent untold number of years alone, scared, sad and found solace in Roman. They probably found solace in each other, home was where ever the other was. Someone to trust no matter what, years spent together and full of love and respect. His death ripped that away, so now it’s fucking war. Neo vs Cinder, the fight to the death and she’s not going to fall for some scapegoat in the form of a 15 year old little girl. Neo had been in Ruby’s position before, fighting for your life and the life of the people person who mattered more than anything to you and terrified of not succeeding. No, Neo knows that the grown woman who refuses to accept any form of blame is responsible. That doesn’t mean she wont bide her time until the perfect opportunity strikes. Oh no, Neo is not on Cinder’s side. She’s on Roman’s side and even his death won’t change that.

I had one thing And you've taken it from me A single light A single friend But you've made that end There was one thing To help escape the misery And now it's all disarrayed You took my whole life away You've sent me back to nothing Now you'll pay (Now you'll) Pay

💖💖💖 -Mod Neo

#rwby #neopolitan #neo politan #cinder fall #roman torchwick #mod neo #sorry this took literally forever guys #also sorry if you think of roman and neo as father and daughter but shes literally a grown woman #and also like i swear theyre in the same age bracket #but any way here you all go!!

[taesbetch]

03 | Den Of Hybrids

Pairing: BTS  x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Summary: Taking care of six hybrids can be a pain in the ass but when a stray needs y/ns help, y/n brings him home to his new family. Follow Y/n as she tries to help Taehyung (The new hybrid in town) fit in and continue to keep the other six alive along with other troubles that life brings.

Word Count: 2.1k

Previous |  Next

Previously...

“Do you wanna tell me about it?” you answered as you dropped your hand from his head. Even though you couldn’t give him the life advice a professional could you knew that you could provide closure and if that was all he wanted, then that was fine.

“i…I think I do”

You watched taehyung carefully as he nervously tried to communicate his feelings. Though his eyes were calm his hands were shaky, clearly, this wasn’t a topic he wanted to dive into but the need to move on and bond with you was stronger than his fear of the past.

“You don’t have to tell me today if you don’t want to” You said as your eyes shifted to the other boys.

“No…I want to, I’m just not really sure where to start” He said his voice wavering a little at his statement.

you waited patiently for the boy to talk, trying to not let your silence pressure him.

“I was born into a hybrid slave service, I was one of the lucky ones that were groomed to be bought for my looks. Usually, people who buy hybrids for show are not the best” he chuckled lightly. “maybe I had done something wrong but after my first owner put me in a few competitions and bragged to her friends’ things went downhill from there. Her boyfriend w-would try and make me into a fighter so he could make money off me at hybrid fights but…I’m not really cut out for things like that” he explained.

You nodded your head along with his story, your heart twisting at the thought out the slim boy next to you being forced into hybrid fighting.

“I’m sorry” You whispered as you watched him shudder at the memories.

“Its okay, this is the first time I’ve been in a happy home. I didn’t know humans were capable of such kindness” He answered with a smile, looking at the other boys who pranced around happily with no care in the world.

“y/n?” Taehyung asked as he turned his head towards you.

“yea?”

“can I stay with you forever?” He asked nervously, one ear flat against his head one perked up.

You let out a confused scoff before nodding your head excitedly “I thought we established that already” You laughed as you pulled him in for a bear hug.

This was something that you never quite understood from your hybrids in the past, before realising that the trauma of their previous owners leaving and abandoning them had moved into the new relationship you were quite baffled at the constant asking of their permanent stay. To you, your actions should have been enough, but it seemed as if they needed the words to leave your mouth, almost as if it wasn’t true until you vocalised it.

You sat on your computer, typing away as you tried to contact Namjoons mating partner. The sun was still bright and cheery, but you felt your energy slipping from you as your computer reminded you of your books due date.

Letting out a huff you pushed your chair away letting your mind slip to the copious amounts of comments from your family destroy your self-confidence. When you first told your family you were writing a book the disagreement with your idea was as clear as day. The family you had been so disconnected from had swooped back into your life as soon as your book did well, now, it felt like the survival of your poorer cousins was on your shoulder. Due to you earning your grandma’s legacy you felt bad for the rest of the gang. Some of your cousins weren’t even that bad. Even though they never talked to you unless it was for money you stilled loved them…well, maybe not all of them. Aunt May was the bane of your existence. You had fallen into her grip, you were young and naïve and didn’t understand that you had given the woman parental guardianship. She had tried multiple times to take your money and leave you, but the court was smarter than that. Even when you turned eighteen since the woman was the head of your family you always tried your best to impress her.

Your hybrids knew how much you yearned to be accepted and loved within your family. Though you knew how horrible they were, your heart couldn’t help it. They were the closest thing you had to your parents.

“Y/n are you okay?”

You looked over to your door, watching as jin looked at you worriedly.

“Hey jin, I'm okay; maybe just a little stressed” you chuckled. Jin hummed as he sat on your bed, his hands clamped together his mouth gaped almost as if he had something to say.

“Jin are you okay?” You asked as you moved forward in your chair.

“I was... I was just wondering if I would be allowed to go on a date next week?” He asked sheepishly. You gasped excitedly, letting out a small squeal as you shook your hands happily.

“a date!!” You exclaimed as the boy blushed a bright red.

“I don’t want to talk about it! Can I go or not!” He yelled flopping himself back on the bed in embarrassment.

“Oh, come on! Let me in on the details! Are you not gonna tell me anything!!!” you yelled back as you scooted your chair closer to the eldest? “How did you meet, online?” you asked thinking about how jin managed to get a date when he was primarily with you and the boys. 

“yes we met online…but anyway, can you please sign the forms that allow me to go out without you?” he asked before pouting.

“Of course, ill sign them, did you print them or am I gonna have to do it?” You asked your attitude seeping through towards the end. He smiled cheekily before zooming out the room.

“CAN YOU DO IT, THANKS” He shouted on the way down the stairs.

Shaking your head, you went back to work, reminding yourself that you really needed to get that finished. Just as it seemed like you were on a role, your fingers were stopped at the screeching of jungkook.

“Y/N SHES HERE EARLY!”

--

Your heart dropped into your stomach as you walked into your living room to see aunt may sitting on your couch, two days earlier than she mentioned in the card. Her wrinkle skin although prominent was pushed to the side by her bright pink rich people clothes. Her eyes were still beady and held the same glare they always did.

“My dear y/n” She smiled as you walked towards her, eyes wide with surprise.

You heard the panicked shuffle of Namjoon behind you as he ran upstairs to join the rest of the hybrids in hiding.

“you’re early,” You said awkwardly as you gave her a timid hug.

“Yes well…I thought I would help my lovely y/n earlier” She smiled as she motioned for you to take a seat.

“Help me?” You asked, fear surging through your body as when aunt may ‘helped’ it was usually for her own benefit.

“Yes well, since you are a family provider, I have filed to take your hybrids away for two weeks while you work, this way you can get it done efficiently” She stated, her lips curling up into a smirk.

“WHAT!” You shouted in shock “H-how! No, you can’t!”

“Yes, I can. See you. y/n are providing shelter for some of us, meaning that we can file to hold your hybrids for a certain period of time. Maybe ill give them back earlier, but only if you finish quickly” She shrugged.

Fucking bitch. You glared at your aunt as she pulled out a yellow notice letter out of her bag.

“Aun-“

“No, its finale, I will take the hybrids while you finish your book, here is the paperwork from the police I will take them tomorrow morning,” she said cutting you off, not letting you speak.

“You got the police involved?” You scoffed as you read the highlighted area, it says if you didn’t give them to her then the police could come and take them by force.

“well you wouldn’t have just handed me the boys” she chuckled

“You were supposed to give me this three days ago!” You said realising that the date from today and the date of notice were out of whack.

“Yes, but that would have given you time to dispute it and we can’t have that” Aunt may sighed. You shook your head as you watched her cockily place her bag on her lap.

“Aun-“

“Y/N! BE A GOOD CHILD AND DO AS I SAY” She yelled, the veins in her neck popping out in angry.

You shut your mouth, feeling like a small child against your aunt as she pulled down her fancy jacket.

“alright…then ill be off, have the muts ready” she stated as she headed for the door, her heels clicking against the floorboards. You sat in shock, hating yourself for needing approval from your family and ending up in this situation. She was right since you made money for your family, they could file a family crisis report. Basically, what a family crisis report is, is when the main breadwinner has something distracting them that keeps them from making their money – the family can get the government involved to remove said distraction.

“We aren’t actually going to live with her right?”

You jumped as you saw all seven hybrids standing behind you, worry and sadness plastered on their faces. They all started panicking with the confirmation from your facial expression.

 “how long are we gonna have to stay with her?!” hoseok exclaimed

“It says two week-“you started but was stopped by shouts from the group

“TWO WEEKS!” jin yelled his face red with rage.

“BUT! I’ll go in tomorrow and get it sorted so at most, three days” you said trying to calm them down. You watched as they looked at you sadly, clearly not happy with the situation.

“That’s still so much!” yoongi whined, his ears flat against his head.

“Better than two weeks” Namjoon huffed as he plopped down next to you, taking a look at the notice letter.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why she’s doing this but…if you guys just stick together it’ll be fine okay? I’ll get you home as soon as possible” you said sighing as the hybrids pouted and sulked. Your heart ached but they were going to have to go for a little while, the consequences of them not going was simply too much.

--

 You stood at the door with your hybrids lined up, their bags in hands. All of you hadn’t managed to get a wink of sleep, of course, this was understandable you were getting separated. Every single one of the had insisted on sleeping in your bedroom, the cries of the boys filling the room throughout the night.

“Namjoon, take care of everyone. Remember to take your vitamins” You stated as you dusted some dust off of his shoulder, not even bothering to hide the fact that your eyes were welling up with tears. You gave him a tight hug as he sniffed back his own tears. Moving along the line your heart broke as jin turned his head away from you, tears streaming down his face as he pouted.

“Jin…you know I can’t do anything right now” You sighed as you tugged at his folded arms. Jin whined before pulling you into a tight hug “Please hurry and bring us back”. You nodded your head as your eyes squinted, trying to hold back your ugly sob. Moving on you tried to comfort a very panicked jimin.

“jimin you’re coming back okay? Namjoon is gonna take care of you and everything’s gonna be okay” You said but you feared it fell on deaf ears as he didn’t respond, instead he gripped your shirt tightly as you tried to move away from him. A silent plea to stop this from happening. you watched in amazement as yoongi pulled jimins hand away from your shirt and pulled you into his arms instead. Even the coldest of the seven was tearing up.

“Y/n” jungkook cried, his eyes red and puffy from all the crying he had been doing. “Be good okay jungkook” You cried, knowing your bunny would get yelled at the most, his antics and energy would be too much for aunt may to handle.

As you hugged jungkook you watched taehyung drop his head, tears dropping to the floor. You moved over to taehyung who started whimpering as you hugged him.

“Don’t forget you said forever” He cried as he tugged you back into a hug as you tried to pull away.

You nodded your head as your aunt started ushering them out the door.

“I’ll call you! please take care of yourselves!” You exclaimed as they were out the door all too quickly for your liking.

“aunt may! I put shifting schedules and medication needs in a notebook its-“You started but you got cut off when she pushed back inside the house.

“Yes! Okay, well see you later, get to work!” She shouted as she slammed the door in your face, leaving you in a silent house with just your regrets and tears.

#bts hybrid au #bts hybrid fanfic #bts stories #taehyung hybrid au #jungkook hybrid au #jimin hybrid au #yoongi hybrid au #namjoon hybrid au #seokjin hybrid au #hoseok hybrid au #taehyung fanfiction #jungkook fanfiction #jimin fanfiction #yoongi fanfiction #jin fanfiction #namjoon fanfiction #kpop hybrid au #bts v #jungkook series #jimin series #taehyung series #taehyung fluff #jungkook fluff #jimin fluff #yoongi fluff #hoseok fluff #jin fluff #namjoon fluff

[starkendgame]

okay so i saw endgame twice last weekend

there’s spoilers ahead y’all so i suggest scrolling on by if u haven’t watched

anyways

here are my thoughts and they’re all over the place so

- first hawkeye scene was already so sad also do i sense a kate bishop??

- tony teaching nebula how to play paper flick football was the so cute i love their dynamic

- also seeing how caring nebula was during that time oh man i am soft

- okay but how did carol just happen to come across tony and nebula’s ship???? like there’s a whole universe,,, and she just found it??

- “i lost the kid” had me ready to cry so fast

- rocket responding to being called a build-a-bear with “maybe i am” snsksjkd

- tony’s snap at cap was so valid and i think he needed to let all that out and cap really needed to hear that

- also i like that they gave him credit for his warning that the world needed a suit of armor because it shows some dummies that he created ultron with good intentions

- support group cap is a good concept and also kinda sad bc we know sam was also a support group leader

- this is an unpopular opinion and people will definitely disagree with me but carols new haircut was not doing things for her

- nat crying over clint made me big sad especially the second time around

- honestly i really liked nat in this movie more than others, her character really shows some depth

- i swear i’m going to get 3000 tattooed on me somewhere that shit HURTED

- on that note morgan stark is the most adorable little girl i’ve ever seen and dad!tony deserved to be a concept for more than 5 years (or 5 minutes from an audience point of view)

- like if you didn’t hear “define lunch or be desintagrated” and immediately melt ur a liar

- scott running around the vanished memorial in panic is :(

- okay cassie looks way to old for just a 5 year time jump im sorry someone had to say it

- hulk/banner is so fucking weird it’s so uncomfortable but also it didn’t bother me to the extent where i wanted it changed bc it was pretty funny

- also him giving scott tacos had me rolling

- thor bod is okay and i think shitting on him for it is mean we all acknowledged that he’d been through a lot after infinity war

- “shit”

- tony inventing time travel super casually? iconic.

- tony also creating a gauntlet in a hot second even though thanos had to fatty go to nidavellir and use some special ass metal to get his? even more iconic.

- all the domestic scenes where the avengers just sit around trying to figure out where to make their jumps and nat with her little notepad and bruce going “shut the front door” all of it was so good

- alright here’s the tea the thor we know and love would not just ignore loki when he went back in time he’d have exactly the same reaction as when his mother showed up

- their whole relationship that was built in ragnarok just fucking died and i refuse to accept that

- also seeing loki made me very happy and very sad i miss that dramatic little bitch

- also i love frigga

- america’s ass

- literally imagine checking out ur own ass and being like “damn,,” while ur friends also do the same

- “i can do this all day” “yeah i know” was solid fucking comedy even he’s tired of it

- “hail hydra” was also so good that bitch really took full advantage of being from the future he was so proud of himself

- i feel like nebula perhaps could have warned nat and clint about vormir but idk

- nat is so fucking important and deserved better, no memorial? no funeral? really?

- honestly and this is a problematic opinion but i wish it was clint and not nat because marvel wasnt doing enough with his character anyways and nat was such an integral part of the team in so many ways and it’s kind of terrible that i think this bc clint has a family but nat was honestly the heart of the team

- but she did so good and i’m proud of her she really died a hero’s death and she needs recognition

- the broken shield like how it was in tony’s vision is rough

- cap lifting mjolnir??????? Wack

- shuri yesssss i really hope she has a bigger role later in the avengers but im upset tony didn’t get to meet her he would’ve loved her :(

- the scene when everyone came back and it was just everyone in one place was such an experience like man the goosebumps

- also seeing peter for the first time back made my heart swell i love that boy

- tony and pepper iron couple is everything i needed thank you

- tony and petey reunion <3

- but also i felt like peters lines during their reunion were a just the slightest bit odd but that’s just the script not toms acting

- scott looking at hope when she calls steve “cap”

- the fact that cap called peter “queens” is really cute and overlooked also pepper calling him “kid” like tony does

- the girl team up WHEW chile can i tell u i was smiling so big that shit had me SHOOK at first but then it occurred to me how unlikely it is that they would all end up in the same spot and that was completely there just to make fans have the exact reaction we’re all having and so they could score brownie points i’m sorry i had to say it

- okoye is hands down the most badass woman out there no powers no armor no shield no suit no fancy tech she’s just out there kicking ass with her spear and i appreciate her

- also this might be dumb but if carol is the strongest of all of them, why couldn’t she use the gauntlet and perhaps survive

- also it’s just stupid that they acted that carol was going to be such a big part of the movie but she was there for maybe 2 hot seconds

- seeing that crusty purple small dick grape finally get dusted was all kinds of satisfying

- “we won mr stark” “i’m sorry tony” and “you can rest now” fucking destroyed me thanks

- i’m going to fucking miss tony so much i’ve cried so much

- he’s literally been my favorite superhero for 11 years Fuck

- proof that tony stark has a heart also destroyed me bitch i am GRIEVING

- who’s gonna make the abnoxious sarcastic witty comments now Bitch the mcu lost so much with the death of tony stark

- also i really hope they show peter having some issues after all this i think it’s only realistic there’s a lot of trauma he went through

- harleyyyyyyy :)

- cheeseburgers :(

- also speaking of harley can he pick up the genius invention slack in the future i think that’d be so good

- queen brunnhilde <3 ur gonna do great

- where’s gamora?? also her timeline has got to be super fucked up now

- is thor gonna be in guardians 3??

- also it’s a bit upsetting that even with the snap that brought everyone back, half thor’s people are still dead bc they died before the snap

- ned and petey reunion <3

- caps ending has me a little conflicted because yes it’s nice that he got his happy life and everything but i am gonna be one of those people who thinks it’s a bit out of character

- also if i’m being honest, tony and caps endings should’ve been switched i feel like, tony really needed to be able to have his happy ending and stop blaming himself and living with that guilt i think he deserved that closure and also having that character on standby for future movies seems super useful to push some plots forward?

- and with cap his whole thing was that he really wasn’t supposed to live past that plane crash and i felt like if his character was gonna go out it would be the way that tonys did bc i mean the man stood up in front of a whole freakin army before he knew help was coming

- that aside i think bucky should’ve gotten the shield, mostly because i think that’s only fair but also sam already has falcon, but all bucky has is the winter soldier and that has all types of bad shit attached to it so idk i think to make him captain would’ve been better

- i do think bucky knew what cap was gonna do he literally said “i’m gonna miss you” before he left even though he was supposed to have been back in 5 seconds his time and he didn’t look freaked out at all when he didn’t also he told sam to go ahead and talk to steve that bitch Knew

- also the sun didn’t fucking shine and i’m pissed they completely fucking desreguarded his entire monologue in that scene

- if tony and nat don’t get big ass memorial statues im going to sue

- also i hope peter and morgan have a cute sibling relationship please it’s what we need

- the sound of the first iron man suit being built at the end really got me and it was only 2 seconds of Sound

- but i wish we got an actual end credit scene like scenes with tony and morgan or something that teases far from home or some homage to the A6 idk it was underwhelming to not have a scene

- also i can’t watch any marvel movies now without being REALLY sad so there’s that i’m a little bit of a disaster

- i think overall this movie overlooked a lot of development that went on before hand and in that sense i think it lost a lot, but in terms of how the story went down i think it was good there was just a few things i wish they added (thor and loki ahem ahem) and honestly the movie should’ve been longer w an interlude but it was good + worth the watch i’m just a huge emotional wreck

- (also a side note: i’ve seen some people questioning why others are so upset over these fictional characters and it’s because yes we have attachments to the characters but also the actors, and after the characters die the actors won’t be in any more of these movies and we won’t see any more of their content or interaction with the rest of the cast and that shit is sad we’re gonna miss them so there are some tears)

#endgame spoilers #avengers endgame spoilers #avengers #endgame #A4 #spoilers #tony stark #captain america #iron man #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #black widow #my babies :’(((( #marvel

[heartavenged]

THINGS I LOVED ABOUT AVENGERS ENDGAME

SPOILERS.

Based on the amazing post by @saieras (21 things I loved about endgame), anything pushed by blockquotes (the little line on the left), and some of the titles, come directly from said post --DISCLAIMER -- and means I agree completely.

1. THE FIRST 20 MINUTES

Expectations? Chuck them out the window. They weren’t kidding when they said all promotional material came from the first 20 mins!!! I loved how they got right into the thick of things, cameras blazing, completely no nonsense. And CAROL omg. Also I did NOT expect Thanos’ death to be, Just Like That.

CAROL, again.

2. THE TIME JUMP

Very, very smart move. I liked everything about the time jump. It lets us view the event with a lens of a world shattered, a world that has had the chance to come to its senses and reel from the catastrophe.

3. TONY CONFRONTS STEVE

I have firmly been Team Iron Man since Civil War, and Tony is my favourite character (I am not okay), so suffice to say that I loved how, even weakened with malnourishment, he got in Steve’s face, and everything he said.

4. THE LANGS

Just. Every joke he made. Fantastic.But also I did not expect to shed my first tear at his and Cassie’s reunion. That was great.

5. DOMESTIC TONY

Tony and Morgan. Such a real, cute father-daughter relationship. ‘Mommy send me to rescue you’ and ‘Love you three thousand’ filled my heart with joy.

6. INTERN

Tony and Peter’s photo (...)  AND THAT PHOTO WAS HIS. In HIS HOUSE. FRAMED. I REALLY wish we got more but that moment was very powerful. Still, I was unsatisfied. I wanted Tony to cry. I wanted Morgan to also know about Peter. Basically I want more canonical proof of Irondad Spiderson. Like, listen, this is the one loss that haunts Tony to this day. Peter’s death was the kind of pain that made Tony terrified of going again, for fear of losing Morgan

7. THE NYC SCENE

ALL of it. From Tony the security guard, to him talking shit about his own deodorant, to him giving himself a cardiac arrest to cause a diversion and being like this is fine, nothing to see here. And Hulk vs stairs. And STEEB. OMG STEEB. “Hail Hydra.“ “I’ve got visuals on Loki.” “I can do this all da–“ “Yeah. I know. I know.“

“Bucky… Is… ALIVE“

And butt jokes. So many Steve buttjokes. I don’t ship stony, but that is the closest y’all will get to a stony suggestive scene.

ALSO LOKI just yeeting himself outta there. That’s ma boi!

8. FRIGGA AND THOR

Nuff said. Mama Frigga is the best.

9. TONY AND HOWARD

It’s really great how adorable Tony was throughout this scene. And… while Howard was NOT redeemed, it’s nice to know he did love his son. And it’s great that Tony got some closure.

10. PEGGY AND STEVE

Out of the Big Three’s scenes with their “significant past people”, this one was the least impactful for me, as they didn’t even talk, BUT in retrospect it set the scene for later perfectly.

Also because I don’t much care for Steve.

11. GAMORA

This is GREAT and showcases her character very well, who she really is despite who Thanos raised her to be.

True, the minute she realizes Thanos’ plan is to wipe out half the universe, she is so clearly appalled (I don’t think she really knew what he planned for after he gathered all stones), and immediately starts to reconsider her position on the whole thing.

12. CLINT AND NATASHA

Their friendship was on full display during this film. Their scenes. And how it was all platonic. The entire audience knew, as soon as they landed on Vormir, that one of them wasn’t going to make it.

- I knew it would be Natasha , though, Clint and his family, and Natasha and her whole “I need redemption, I’m still trying to be a better person” -

Back to the Vormir scene: it was amazing, and heartbreaking, the lengths they were willing to go to make sure they were the sacrifice, like, how they were willing to injure if it meant the other were alive at the end. Clint and Natasha were never my favourites (except around Avengers), but I will forever applaud Scarlett Johansson and Jeremy Renner for their outstanding performance.

13. THE BIG THREE FIGHT THANOS

Thor’s lightning and Tony’s Iron Man tech combining to kick purple ass, all of three of them holding the titan back while the others tried to crawl out of the rubble. Still, the “big three fight” was mainly focused on Steve, in my opinion.

Like previously stated, I’m not a greeeat Steve fan, but even I have to admit that Mjölnir zapping to his hand at that precise moment was awesome. I cheered right along with everyone else. Which also justifies Thor grabbing it along from the past and possibly, maybe, most likely, leaving his past-self without it?

Anyways, cue tears at each shard of the shield.

14. THE ENTRANCE OF THE HEROES

If I was crying before, the moment that Sam hails Steve, and Shuri, Okoye and T’Challa walk through that first portal I was outright sobbing.

Words don’t do justice to the emotion I felt at seeing ALL my heroes assemble for the last time. At each new face I cried harder. They didn’t forget anyone and that made me so fucking happy. 

I felt as if I could climb into the screen and fight alongside them, I felt powerful enough and fired up enough to do it too. And that’s the magic of that scene, thank you cast and crew. Thank you MARVEL for the incredible build up, I thought it was worth it.

15. PETER AND TONY

How Peter goes straight for Tony and cute rambling mode is already turned on, but Tony can’t even speak, and just falls into the hug in a parallel of their “hug” in Infinity War.

“Oh, this is nice!”

The moment is essencial since Peter, and not really any of the other tens of trillions* that vanished in the snap, is the reason Tony embarks in the time travel venture, even when it could’ve cost him so much. So it validates his choice, besides his being, you know, a true hero.

16. CAROL’S ENTRANCE

I missed her in this movie. I mean, I thought she would be in almost every shot, but maybe that was just because I think she’s fantastic. Her entrance, tho.

“What are they shooting at?” “Something just entered the atmosphere”

And then blast! Singlehandedly destroying the mothership (Thanos’ looks so fucking offended and we can see any conviction of victory waning from his expression), and kicking some ass. Way to establish dominance early on girl!

I mean, I played with the idea of Infinity-War-Thor being equal to Carol, (and maybe, maybe, he could’ve come a close) but now? She’s so clearly in another level... No words except: goddess.

17. PETER IN THE BATTLE + CAROL

Instant kill mode

So proud of him. The way he flips in, and is instantly like Woah this is a Big Fight!!

“Hey Peter Parker. Got something for me?”

CAROL. CArol listen. You are his mom now. That’s how it works with that damn kid. (...) It be like that sometimes.

I don’t think Carol would ever be around enough for anything close to parental relationship (plus, May is Peter’s mom), but that boy will worship the hero-shit out of Captain Marvel.

18. MARVEL’S HEROINES

If my crying had eased a bit from the general assemble moment, I fucking cracked again here. They are so tough, and powerful, and beautiful.

As a woman, it was so damn empowering and important to see all of them up there, together, each with their own background and their own strengths. I love how we had all kinds of women - warriors, mothers, princesses, generals, wives, captains, businesswomen, scientists, girlfriends, assasins, friends, witches - and all of them fighters.

I also can’t wait for the gifset and the final still - it’s gonna be my background for about everything.

Also RESCUE. OMG. PEPP. And the battlefield fighting side by side with Tony.

19. TONY’S SEND OFF

His death. I was glad Pepper was the last one there, to tell him it’s okay, they’ll be fine, he can let go.

AND PETER. Peter was there, trying to talk to him, sobbing and breaking down. This is what I wanted, going in, if Tony were to die. And this is what I got. You just know this is going to haunt him in FFH.

And Tony himself. His immense sacrifice, the moment he knew what he had to do, the moment Strange held up that finger. One way. UGH.

Of course I knew Natasha wouldn’d be the only one to die, but damn, I’m still feeling the hole his amazing fictional character left/ is going to leave in my life. Literally the only one (Peter was of course safe with Far From Home around the corner) I didn’t want to die. I loved him before my heart was inflated with Stark-family feels.

The lake house was so peaceful and I loved how it showed that after all his trouble, his PTSD, Tony had found a home and a family (even if somethings haunted him).

The picture, and how devastated Peter is can only mean that between Homecoming and Infinity War they grew closer, which had always been what I wanted. But I wanted to see it! Fanfiction will have to continued to lull my pain, I guess.

Speaking of fanfiction, Harley being at the funeral is all the proof my little fanheart needs to claim they’ve not only been in contact through the years, but had a mentor/parental relationship as well.

The question for me now is: how well do the boys know each other?

20. AND FINALLY, TONY. RDJ.

Thank you. Beyond all words, Thank you.

This has been one hell of a ride.

FOREVER IRON MAN

#avengers endgame #endgame spoilers #MCU

[vvakarians]

Closure

An ending to a relationship in my D&D Campaign and the end of a relationship in my friend group. Under the cut.

Never had Bell needed to set foot in Blackthorn Prison, a veritable fortress to keep the most hated of the dead behind impenetrable walls. It’s exactly what every single one of the prisoners deserved. A cold, hard view to keep them company while the rest of eternity passed them by without even a second glance. This was their torture. Somewhere in the back of Bell’s mind he wished that it was harsher; he wished that the temperature could be felt to a sharper degree, the hardness of the walls and the absence of light dialed up to an intolerable level. At the very least it was a comfort that this is where Davorin had ended up. It was perhaps less than what he deserved but it was something. Ielia had written to him that the paladin would be put into more fitting conditions soon, Bell was just impatient. Rightfully so.

His prosthetic landed with a crack against the stone and he silently winced at the sound. Normally it wouldn’t have been much of an issue but the circumstances under which he had gotten it was...complicated in this situation. It harbored memories that Bell would have rather left under lock and key. While he strode past long dead criminals and evil spirits, Bell tried to shove down all thoughts of that night. Those moments did him no good to remember, not now. New pain fueled him and he wanted to wait for Davorin’s sniveling face to rear up before he let him have it with the old.

Thankfully, the hiss of some half rotted creature drew him from his stupor and he snarled at it, slamming down his heel on the hand that had lashed out from the bars. There was a whimper and an angry screech in reply as it shrank back into it’s cell, two golden eyes peering at him from the darkness. Nothing but pity and a quiet annoyance roiled in Bellamy’s gut for the thing, it had brought this on itself. A waste of skin now, perhaps that’s what would become of Davorin. He had been so prideful, so vain; that was fitting of such a man. As he walked away, Bellamy found himself wishing Ielia would enact that punishment. Or something equally as damning and painful. Something that befit a selfish traitor.

Confidence surged through Bell as he rounded the corner and spotted a familiar silhouette slumped over on the bench in a cell. Stripped of his plate armor, weapons, and shield, Davorin looked insignificant. Even the horrific burn scars where his tattoos had been seemed like a small thing compared to what he had been before. Dressed in just a plain undershirt and his trousers, he looked fittingly pathetic.  It was refreshing to Bellamy as he remembered that he towered over this man both literally and figuratively.  The man didn’t even raise himself until Bell was inches from the door to his cell, no doubt the familiar clack of his prosthetic telling who his company was before he saw the face. An icy pit of anger welled up inside of Bell as he watched Davorin slowly look up, sadness creeping over the once handsome features of the paladin.

“Bell--”

“It’s Lord Kaldwin to you. My first name is reserved for people who actually care”, Bell spat back before Davorin could even finish his sentence, gaining a shocked expression from the other man.

“Really? Already writing me off, just like that?”

“Don’t see why not, seeing as you made the snap decision to just fucking leave like you did. Real nice touch by the way, leaving your shit for me and your daughters to pick up. Or did you forget that you had a family?”

Those grey blue eyes Bell had found comfort in once narrowed at him, full of frustration and a hint of malice now. He hadn’t taken care of himself even in death, the other man noted that his beard had gotten scragglier and there were deep lines where there hadn’t been in life. Maybe, just maybe, his isolation was getting the better of him.

“Why are you here?”, Davorin mumbled, his voice streaked with pain.

“Closure. Ielia told me I was free to come ask all the questions I wanted. Seeing as I was the person closest to you, I think that’s a free trade off don’t you?”

“Then ask. Don’t dance around me with your bullshit”

The smallest pang of guilt pierced through Bell’s mask of confidence but he swallowed it expertly, keeping his head high.

“Fine. What happened? We both know that you shouldn’t be here unless you died, Davorin”

There was a derisive chuckle and Bell watched while the paladin pulled away his undershirt slightly, revealing his broad chest. Where there should be a smooth --albeit hairy-- expanse of muscle on the left side, there was a giant, gaping hole. The edges were still torn, still healing over. It would take centuries for that to completely close., if it ever did.

“Shar took what she wanted. Watched her crumple it into dust before I faded away if you want to really know, it was quite painful”

Bell scoffed, feeling his anger return in waves, “A fitting end, don’t you think? You did metaphorically rip out a few people’s hearts. Mine included”

Uncomfortable silence filled the wing as Davorin leaned back and settled in, watching Bell stand there for a moment. Panic gripped him slightly while he waited for an answer, a comment, anything. This was a little more than unnerving. The other man’s voice nearly gave him a start as it echoed amongst the stone walls, quiet and almost too sad to bear.

“I thought you said you’d never hate me”

Those simple words were enough to enrage Bell and he surged forward to slam into the bars of Davorin’s cell, his cane clattering to the floor with a tremendous sound. His knuckles gripped the metal with white knuckles while he fought back the urge to spit curses in every language he knew. Instead, he decided on the quiet, terrifying anger.

“You broke that trust years before I uttered those words, Davorin! It was one thing to not remember you had a daughter, or that you were practically married to an evil deity of secrets! Amnesia is a bitch and I realize that. What you failed to let me know was that you let that deity fuck with my memories! Memories, by the way, that were of you attempting to kill me! This was before you had any inclination of becoming a revenant, you settled into the security that I wouldn’t remember any of that! It’s not even you attempting to kill me that takes the cake, it’s the fact you would lie to me like that!”

Shock and terror filled the human’s features and he scrambled to get up, to walk forward and meet Bellamy at the door. But the other man took a step backwards shakily, letting go of the bars right as Davorin’s fingers brushed against his. Rage was boiling within the aasimar and he was about to throw inflict wounds onto a dead man just for the hell of it.

“Bell, I didn’t know about that when I found you again! Look at me and tell me that you think I would do that now”

A scoff escaped Bellamy as he shook his head in disbelief, tears welling up at the corners of his eyes, “It doesn’t matter if you wouldn’t do that now. Our trust is broken. I can’t even tell you if I know you wouldn’t anyway, it doesn’t erase the fact you did it once. That was enough to ruin everything. And it’s only part of the problem”

“What on earth have I done besides that?”

For a moment the words caught in Bellamy’s throat, the pain choking him and leaving him without air. His fists clenched at his sides painfully, nails digging into the meat of his palms. He couldn’t just walk away, he couldn’t. With hot tears running down his cheeks, leaving molten trails of gold on his skin he let his voice ring out in the prison.

“You broke your promise that you wouldn’t leave again”

Davorin’s eyes blew wide with a surge of sorrow, a shattered sound filling his sound as he let his hands fall away from the bars. The blue in his gaze was completely whisked away into grey while he sat back down onto his bench and let his face fall into his large hands. There was nothing but pure hatred and numbness at Bell’s fingertips as he scooped up his cane, leaning on it heavily while he waited for something. Anything. It felt as if years passed by as he stood there, wiping away shining tears that stained his skin. This time he did start when Davorin’s thick Imenian accent reached his ears.

“I’m sorry, Bellamy. I had no intention of harming you, nor Rosette and Nadya”

“I don’t want your apology, Davorin. It’s impossible to swallow when you did harm us. You left a six year old girl wondering why her father left her behind, and a woman looking for comfort wondering why she keeps losing people. Your brother thinks it’s his fault that you turned out like this, and Divines know what the hell Anya thinks! We haven’t even found her yet. The part for me was that...I had no warning. I had to go through so many stages of grief in a handful of seconds”, a bitter laugh echoed along the halls as Bell took a breath, “Even worse than that was I had planned on proposing to you after we destroyed my father. I think I can definitively say that I dodged a pretty large fucking bullet there. The man I fell in love with wasn’t ever real. The Davorin Sokolov I know wouldn’t have done any of that, but perhaps I had fabricated him”

Another bout of silence fell upon the two, and Bell had finally gathered the courage to turn around, to just leave. Until the other man spoke again, softly this time, almost incoherent through his tears.

“I love you, Bell”

With a shock, even to himself, Bellamy smiled at Davorin through his own tears and laughed without any of the bitterness from before.

“We both made mistakes, it seems. Proved fatal for you”

“What..what are you going to do now?”

Bellamy cleared his throat and adjusted his grip on the head of the cane, his leg had started to ache. But he could still walk away.

“Why would I tell you?”

#bellamy kaldwin #my boy is no longer with his ex LMAO #he has a bf now thank goodness but that was a whole trainwreck #i'm not friends with the person who played dav anymore #and this will be the last time i write about him #mal writes

[asheternal]

I just realized something, if the relics coming together summon back the gods to judge the world doesn’t that makes Ozpin even more of an asshole for not telling everyone that detail considering the current Faunus/human relationship is nowhere near in harmony? I could kinda understand not telling everyone before Beacons fall but now that everyone’s aware of Salem I feel as if RWBY, JNR and Qrow should’ve been notified.

If I know anything from Wicked/ Wizard of Oz, it’s not to trust the wizard at all.

I think it’s 100% justified to be wary of him, as his own selfishness kinda led to the whole situation via lying/omitting his duty simply to be with the woman he loved- who he was warned about. A woman who acted on her own selfishness, but not out of ill intent.

 This whole philosophy of life and death is greatly influenced by eastern spiritualism I believe, given the symbolism and weight given to balance. It’s hard to empathize with if you’re from predominantly western culture/religious backgrounds, as it’s seen as taboo to be at peace with death as a concept. Though there are exceptions to everything. I believe this quote from Jacob’s Ladder (if you’re interested in a western take on these concepts and don’t mind good ol’ 90s horror, watch it. It’s worth it I promise!) summarizes the concept the gods of RWBY try to convey:

“Eckhart saw Hell too. He said: The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won't let go of life, your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they're not punishing you, he said. They're freeing your soul. So the way he sees it, if you're frightened of dying and... and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.“

 THOUGH to Oz’s defense, he returned to her AFTER she did her experiments and could have easily.. lied about it. Both of them work on some degree of selfishness and have a dysfunctional (I mean, clearly) relationship if they can’t yknow, communicate major details as shown in Salem snapping when he finally let it slip.

 A lot of people see it as “hets destroy the world” but I think on a non-meme level (it’s a meme, a joke.. at least I hope so, if not I’ll try to give some insight into psychology as best as I can) it’s a story about how two people miscomunicating can ruin not only their lives but others linked to them (kids, social groups, family, etc.) and how one can stop that.

 Just.. don’t lie or omit things about yourself that have a key aspect to who you are/what you’ve been through. It’s hard to do that, especially as a possible abuse victim/person who is hurt, but over time ease into it.

 This theme can be seen in two major couples of RWBY- Taiyang and Raven and Blake and Yang, though I’d argue our good bee duo has learned to mutually overcome that through their own journeys. Raven also sort of in her own way had to face that last volume when confronting Yang, hence why she’s lurking around Tai. I think she’s not there to garner sympathy or heal their bond, but to apologize for everything. If she had communicated with Tai, I’m mildly sure he’d understand her need to leave him and Yang, but also possibly arrange for her to visit once in a while. Though their story is still missing details, so I can’t be sure.

All in all, there’s no real good/bad to the story of RWBY on a myth level. Both sides KIND OF FUCKED UP A LOT and did shitty things, though the key with Ozpin is he kind of brands himself the “good guy” who does what’s right. He repeats his same errors time and time again by not being honest with his companions, I think what symbolizes that this cycle is THE cycle he and Salem make amends is that he was forced to stop lying in one way or another.

 We cannot destroy Salem, but we can possibly get light and dark their closure, even if only slightly. RWBY already has it’s true evil in it’s other bad guys who will be the kill/capture or fail situations, Salem cannot and will not be that situation.

#v6 spoilers #theorycrafting #Anonymous

[boneandfur]

Closure [5]

Chapter Five ~ The Bodyguard (Drake)

Song: Runaways, The Killers

Words: 1765

Catch up:  Masterlist

Tag list: @drakewalkerwhipped @mfackenthal @alicars @youwontlikewherewewillgo @ninamckenzie22 @theroyalweisme @hopefulmoonobject @pbchoicesobsessed @topsyturvy-dream @viktoriapetit

Summary: Drake's obsession with Lilly has already destroyed three marriages. Why he stays at court is anyone's guess. But tonight is a night for intrigue and dark secrets -- and some people will do anything to discover them...

"Are you Aunty Vannah's big brother?" Big bwuvver. 

Drake looks down at Sophy. She's been brushing, braiding and decorating  the grey pony's mane for half an hour, clearly in little girl heaven. "Yeah, Short Stuff. I'm her big brother. Guess that makes me your uncle in law." 

Sophy screws her face up thoughtfully. "Why?" 

"Because -- never mind. Just call me Uncle Drake, kid." It's uncanny, but this little girl could pass for the miniature version of Liam's mother. She has that Rys look about her too. For a long time he'd thought she was his daughter too, but now, meeting her face to face at last, he's not so sure. Hell, the entire foundation he built his life on cracked when he met Lilly that night in New York City. What's one more? 

"Tell me about yourself, kid. What's your favorite color?" 

Sophy frowns at him. "Silver, silly! But Mummy made me wear this. I don't like it." She has a temper. It would be painfully adorable if Drake were a sentimental man (he isn't). "Is Aunty Vannah here? I miss Percy." For a long moment he thinks she might cry, but she composes herself admirably. She is strangely self-possessed for a mere seven year old. 

Percival. Drake's nephew is a mischevious, dark haired child of four, about to start école maternelle in the autumn. He has a stuffed hippo he takes everywhere with him. Drake has always found it to be an odd attachment, but now he is beginning to wonder, a suspicion creeping into his mind. Savannah has never shared why she left Bertrand a second time, throwing herself into her career as a freelance columnist in Paris. Bartie and Percy look as alike as cheese and chalk. Bartie looks like Drake and Savannah's side of the family, and Percy... Drake runs a hand across his face. Percival Maxwell Beaumont. 

"Yeah, maybe. Do you want me to ask her?" Savannah covers the European nobility beat. It is her connections to the Cordonian court that got her the job in the first place, without a university degree she would have been doing menial work. He has to acknowledge -- grudgingly, but still -- that their royal patronage has come in handy. For two kids who grew up on the fringes of the Cordonian court, they couldn't have done better. 

Whether or not they could have done worse remains to be seen. Sometimes, Drake thinks he's already had a lifetime of courtly intrigue twice over. No wonder Savannah ran twice. 

"Please," Sophy says, batting her lashes. She looks so much Lilly in that instant that it rocks Drake to his core. 

Are you coming tonight? he texts Savannah.

Yes, I'm just pulling in. Nervous. It's been awhile. Why, is my big brother worried for me?

Lilly's here. 

He can almost see her grimace on the other end. Fuck. Thanks for warning me. 

What's the problem? LOL

You of all people should know the answer to that, Drake!! >:(

Does it have to do with my nephews?? Because you might want to brace yourself, their fathers are here too. With that, he silences his phone. He's no Cupid, but maybe at least one couple can walk away happy this night. 

At that thought, his gaze falls on Jack. He's feeding an apple to his pony, talking in a soft voice to it as he looks deeply into its eyes. Drake's heart leaps in his chest. 

When Olivia had first broken the news of her pregnancy to him, he'd run away -- straight into Lilly's arms. Lilly had stoked his greatest fears about Olivia's fidelity as they drank whiskey together, and then she had kissed him. He'd fallen into her familiar arms, drunk on the scent of her arousal, wanting nothing except to forget the world with his cock buried in Lilly. And he had -- Oh, God, he had. And every time he tried to end it, there was always another (small, helpless) reason he could never cut the ropes that bound them together. 

I can't leave him, Lilly would sob, so wretched that he hated both her and himself. Who else would have me? 

He would. How many times had he begged her to run away with him, to the ends of the earth and beyond? But she always had an excuse, always had some unarguable reason to stay with Maxwell. Irresponsible Maxwell, frittering away their fortunes in the casinos of the Cote d' Ore. 

As for proud Olivia, she had become Liam's mistress in truth, and it was easier to believe that Jack was Liam's son, rather than take the responsibility for abandoning his own child. Yet he'd stayed at court, never able to stray far, never able to forget Olivia despite his failed marriages, despite his obsession with Lilly.

His lust for Lilly has already ruined three marriages. She is his downfall, his greatest addiction. When he fucks her, it feels both wrong and right. She always claimed Beaumont didn't know how to please her, that he couldn't make her come. But it's painfully obvious to anyone with eyes that Maxwell is still in love with the woman. Maybe he never got the memo. 

Well, he certainly has now. 

Drake's glad these children aren't in the ballroom. Jack is one thing -- with Olivia for a mother, he always lands on his feet. Just what was Lilly thinking, bringing Sophy along? 

She's just like me, Drake, Lilly told him once. She needs to learn how to be strong. When I was her age, my childhood was already over, and I didn't even know it. She needs to be prepared. Pull one stick out, and the whole structure collapses. You think your life is hard? You've had it easy. 

Lilly never would explain further, but her words chilled Drake to the core. My childhood was already over... Lilly never shared anything about her past with him. It was as if she'd arrived in Cordonia newly brought alive from clay by the gods, as though she'd had no life before this one. 

And there are not many records on her either. Bastien has shared the background check with Drake, and back then he hadn't cared, but now he wonders. He has so many questions for Lilly. Whoever she is. 

Nothing beyond a registration for a social security number some twenty three years before, and a slew of hospital records. After fourteen, there is nothing. Radio silence. She claims she went to university, but where? Under what name? In this day and age it's nearly unthinkable that a person can fly under the radar for so long. 

"I thought you'd be in here." Savannah hugs Drake, setting down her clutch, a black and gold Prada. She is wearing a press badge and is dressed like a Parisian, all black clothes and an air of elegance despite the shadows under her eyes. She looks at Jack and Sophy, then back at Drake, but says nothing. Little ruffles Savannah these days. 

"Aunty Vannah!" Sophy squeals, flinging herself into Savannah's arms. "Did you bring Percy?" 

"I did not," Savannah says in a soft voice. "He is asleep, I have a nice girl watching after him and Bartie at the hotel. This is a party for grown-ups, Sophy."

Sophy frowns, stamping her foot. "Mummy said it was a party for me."

Savannah's eyes meet Drake's over Sophy's head. Her mouth is pressed in a thin, unforgiving line. "Where is Lilly?"

"Dancing with Liam." The hurt those words would once bring has faded to a mere echo. "A solid power play by House Beaumont. Their star is rising. Olivia is... unpredictable. Hana wants her out." 

Savannah smiles, stroking his cheek. "My big brother, who hates all nobles, talking about courtly intrigue?" 

Drake stiffens. Sophy has joined Jack on the other side of the ring, their heads bent together, whispering. He turns his attention back to Savannah. "They're not nobles. They're my friends."

"Even Olivia?" she teases him lightly. "I remember there was a time when you were head over heels for her. And she -- well, she's always been in love with you." 

Drake remembers -- a screaming match and then a scorching kiss, Olivia in his arms until the sun rose, waking in surprise to find her in his arms, curled up against him like she had always belonged there. Yes, Olivia. He sighs. "I never thought I'd fuck this life up so bad, Vannah."

She laughs, and he's glad to hear it. Savannah has had little enough joy in her life besides her children, since she went away. "You didn't fuck your life up, Drake." 

"No, but I --"

"Here." Savannah passes him a Polaroid photo from her purse. "Gemma, Talia, Annelyse and Valentina." Four little girls with his mother's eyes stare up at him from the glossy paper. "Do you think their lives would be any easier if they lived with you?"

"How can you ask me that?" Drake chokes, overcome with emotion. "They'd be my little girls and they'd live --"

"Here at the palace, while their mother fucked the king? Or a hand to mouth life on the run?" Savannah shakes her head. "And what about Sophy and Sei? Would you take their mother from them as well?" 

Drake clenches his jaw. "Why did you show me this, if you were only going to break my heart again? Are you a monster?" 

"Of course not," Savannah whispers. Her eyes glitter in the lantern's light, and he can see that she is crying. "I want to help you."

"Well, you have a funny way of showing it."

"Listen to me, Drake. Maxwell is the only father those girls know. You don't know how much he loves them. He'd give anything to keep them safe." 

"What are you implying?" Drake demands. "Blackmail?" 

"One star falls and another rises. Such is the way of the court. With their star on the rise, House Beaumont will want to sweep everything shady about Lilly under the rug. I've already made the  arrangements with Bertrand. The girls will live with me in Paris, except..." she turns her head, her eyes going wide in shock. "Sophy? Sophy!" 

Drake feels his heart sink like a stone. "Jack!" He shouts, his heart in his throat. "This isn't time for games, Jackson Nevrakis! Come out right now!" 

But the children do not answer. Sophy and Jack have vanished, as if they've never been. Only a scrap of green fabric flutters sadly on the edge of the corral, twisting and turning in the wind. 

==

Ecole maternelle - kindergarten

Let me know if you would like to be added to the tag list. Sorry if I forgot anyone!

#drake walker #the royal romance #the royal romance fic #angst #drake x mc #drake x olivia implied #maxwell x savannah implied