#we're crying in the club tonight guys

[pedroscurls]

Always Been You (Part 1).

Character(s): no-outbreak!Joel Miller x fem!Reader Summary: You and Joel meet for the first time under unusual circumstances. Word count: 5,359 Author's Note: Hope you guys enjoyed the first part! We're in for a ride with this story. It's going to be a no-outbreak, AU story of Joel Miller. We will be starting this story off with Joel still in his late 20s (which makes Sarah about 6). Warning: None. SERIES MASTERLIST

Several of your friends were in your apartment, trying to coax you out of the bathroom with comforting and encouraging words of reassurance. 

“Come on, babe,” one of them said, gently knocking on the door. “Going out and having some fun will get your mind off of everything.”

“Plus!” Someone chimed in. “The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.” 

You smiled at that, slowly opening the door. Your hair was slightly wavy, makeup light and natural, but your dress clung to your curves in the best way possible; a little black dress, stopping just right above your knee with a front thigh high slit on the left side of your dress. It also had an asymmetrical neckline, the thin straps of your dress resting on one shoulder. 

“You are hot,” your friend grinned. “We’re going to find you someone to go home with tonight.”

You let out a sigh. Part of you wanted to stay home, to put on some sweats and an oversized hoodie and just cry yourself to sleep. It had been a couple of weeks since finding out that your long term boyfriend of four years had been cheating on you. To make the situation worse, he had been cheating on you for several months, his excuse of work events and trips turning out to be him seeing the other woman. 

“Come on, get out of that pretty little head of yours.” Your friend said. “You closed your coffee shop for the night. It’s time you take care of yourself for once.”

“And what if I don’t meet anyone?” You answered with a pout.

“Looking like that? I’d be surprised if you don’t. Now, let’s go.” She ushered you and the rest of your friend group out of your apartment. Once you all stepped outside, the warm air engulfed you and you looked around for a moment before following your friends down the street. 

Your coffee shop was in downtown, so it was a walking distance from all the clubs and bars. You were lucky, really, to be able to have a business and an apartment so close to everything that you didn’t need a car, which saved you a lot of expenses. You had been working a lot since finding out that your boyfriend cheated on you; it was a good distraction from the reality that you had to deal with. Still, though, whenever you were alone, the pain and heartbreak always came back with a vengeance. Some nights it felt like you couldn’t even sleep, your mind racing in all sorts of places; while other nights, you cried yourself to sleep with the help of being so exhausted from overworking yourself. 

Tonight was the only night that your friends managed to convince you to go out and have some fun. You didn’t make it easy on them, but once they managed to convince you, it took every ounce in you not to cancel. 

Once you followed them into one of the most popular clubs in downtown, you tried to quiet your mind as the loud music blared in your ears. It was already crowded and you squeezed yourself between groups of people just to get to the bar to order a drink. 

Your group of friends were more outgoing than you, obviously unafraid to start a conversation with a stranger. You, on the other hand, had always been more reserved, more quiet, and more to yourself. It was an equal balance though. They brought you out of your shell and you humbled them. Tonight, though, they had one goal in mind: to help you get over your ex-boyfriend, Robert. 

Quickly, they handed you two shots of tequila back to back, which you downed almost instantly without hesitation. You figured that if you didn’t get to go home with someone, at least you’d be drunk and able to forget (at least temporarily) about the pain and heartbreak you felt every second of the day. Even after two shots of tequila, you ordered a Long Island Iced Tea, already knowing that it would do the trick to get you to loosen up and to get you out of your thoughts. 

“Anyone catch your interest, babe?” Your friend asked, scanning the club for any potential suitors. 

“Nope,” you replied, downing the rest of your drink before ordering another one. “I’m just gonna get drunk, dance, and have fun with you guys!” 

Your group of friends looked between each other, telling the bartender to give you a glass of water instead. “You need to pace yourself. The night just started.”

“You guys said to let loose, so… I’m letting loose.” You replied, but taking the glass of water. You knew that if you drank too much too fast, the night wouldn’t end well. “But since I love y’all, I’m gonna listen.” 

One of your other friends let out a quiet giggle and motioned to one of the booths away from the bar. “We’ll grab you another drink, but let’s head over to that booth.” 

After you all placed another order of drinks, the four of you walked to the booth, bodies swaying to the music as you maneuvered the crowded area. Once seated though, you let out a sigh and leaned back against the plushiness of the seat, running a hand through your hair as you looked around. No one caught your interest yet and while you knew it was a stupid idea to even think about having meaningless sex with a stranger, you couldn’t help but wonder if it would actually help you get over Robert. 

“You doing okay?” Your friend asked, the other two already on the dance floor with two other men. 

You looked over at her and nodded. “I’m fine. That guy has been checking you out since we got here.”

“I know,” she blushed. “I just don’t want to leave you alone.”

“I’ll be fine,” you replied, taking a sip of your water. “Go have fun. This night isn’t just about me.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes,” you smiled. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here.” 

“Okay, if we get lost and separated, meet back at your coffee shop?” 

You nodded. “Always.” 

She leaned in and gave you a hug before standing from the booth to walk towards the man that had been ogling her from afar. You watched her immediately take his hand to bring him to the dance floor; you envied your group of friends. They were so comfortable with their sexuality, so comfortable with taking control, and always so confident. You had to wonder why they hung out with you when you were obviously the complete opposite. 

Deciding to ditch your half-filled glass of water, you reached for your Long Island Iced Tea that you ordered before sitting at the booth. Taking a long swig, you allowed the contents of the different amounts of liquor to sting your throat, going down easily. You bit your lower lip and stood from the booth, holding onto the back of the seat for balance as you used your free hand to flatten out your dress. You looked up and noticed several men with their eyes raking your frame, but none of them caught your interest. It was too obvious and it was too desperate. 

You grabbed your drink and began walking towards the bar, already halfway finished with your Long Island. You noticed that there was no space at the counter of the bar for you to order yourself another drink. With a heavy sigh, you walked past the crowd and squeezed yourself between two men who looked to be in deep conversation. 

“Um, hi, yeah, can I get another refill? Thanks,” you told the bartender, already downing your second Long Island and placing the now empty glass on the bar. 

Once the bartender took your order, you let out a sigh and leaned against the counter, only now realizing that the two men you squeezed yourself between were staring at you. 

“Manners would be nice, y’know,” one man said. 

“Oh, come on, be friendly, Joel.” The other said. 

You looked over at this man named Joel, taking note of his features. His shoulders were broad and he was so much taller than you that you had to tilt your head slightly upwards just to get a good look at him. His eyes were a deep shade of brown and he was staring down at you as if he was waiting for some kind of apology. 

“Yeah, Joel, be friendly,” you teased.

The other man snickered from behind you, gently tapping your shoulder. “My apologies on behalf of my older brother. It’s been a while since he’s been out so it seems like he forgot his manners. I’m Tommy.”

You looked over at Tommy and smiled. He had this boyish look to him; he was also very broad, but a bit shorter than Joel. They both shared the same color of the deep brown eyes, but your attention and interest was focused on Joel. 

“Nice to meet you, Tommy,” you said with a smile, telling him your name. Then, you turned to face Joel, narrowing your eyes at him. Still, he had this look on his face as if he was annoyed by your presence, or rather, annoyed that he was here. “And it’s nice to meet you, Joel.” 

“Uh huh,” he grumbled. 

The bartender handed you another Long Island Iced Tea, which you happily took from him. You bit at the tip of the straw and took a step back from the counter to let your eyes rake over both Tommy and Joel and noticed that both men were doing the same to you. Tommy’s gaze was obvious; it was clear that he found you attractive. Joel, on the other hand, had a dark gaze as he let his eyes run across from your frame from top to bottom. You couldn’t read him like you could the other men in this club. You watched as he brought his bottle of beer to his lips when his eyes met the slit of your dress, eyes focused on the exposure of your thigh. 

But when Joel’s eyes met yours, there was no hint of attraction or desire. It was as if the gaze in his eyes was void of any emotion, almost like he was masking what he was feeling. 

“Are you here alone?” Tommy asked. 

You shook your head and pointed to your group of friends who were gyrating with other men on the dance floor. “Nope, came with friends.”

“And you’re the only one not dancing? You sound like you’re having fun,” Joel quipped.

“Oh, I’m having a blast,” you said, bringing your drink to your lips and downing it almost halfway. Tommy was impressed. But Joel was concerned and momentarily, in a quick second, you saw the concern flash across his features. 

“What the hell you drinkin’ anyway?” Joel asked.

“Long Island,” you grinned.

Tommy laughed. “You lookin’ to get drunk real fast, aren’t ya?” 

“That’s the plan, isn’t it?” you replied, glancing over at Joel before looking over at Tommy. 

“Have you had any water?” Joel asked, causing your attention to turn onto him. “I’m just sayin’... Long Islands are usually–”

“I know,” you interrupted. “Besides, it ain’t my first time.” 

“Hmmm,” Joel replied. “Well, it was nice meeting ya. You take care now and–”

“Do you want to dance?” you interrupted him, biting your lower lip in anticipation. 

Tommy looked between you and Joel, grinning to himself. He winked over at his older brother, giving him a thumbs up. “I think he’d love to.”

“Tommy–”

“But if you don’t want to, that’s okay too.” You replied, bringing your glass to your lips before Joel’s hand reached out gently to rest on your wrist. His touch was electrifying and you looked up at him to see the subtle surprise in his features; he must have felt it too. 

“I’ll dance with ya,” he said. “But only if you don’t finish that drink. Seems like you already had enough.” 

You blushed, clearing your throat and nodding in agreement. This man barely knew you and yet, he sounded so concerned over your wellbeing. Maybe you would be able to get over Robert… At least with the help of Joel. 

“Tommy, I’ll be back and–”

“Don’t worry about me, Joel. You go have fun.” 

“But–”

“But nothin’, hermano. If we split up, I’ll just meet you back at home.” 

Joel cleared his throat, getting the hint of the subtle insinuation that this might lead to something else other than just a dance. “Okay, you be safe. If you need anythin’, you call me. Y’understand?” 

“Yes, sir,” Tommy teased. “Now go, have fun.”

You looked up at him in a gaze that captured Joel almost instantly. He had a very tough exterior, but deep down, Joel yearned for an intimate connection, especially after becoming a dad at such a young age. When you reached for his hand, Joel eagerly allowed you to take his hand in your own.

“Lead the way, darlin’.” 

You felt butterflies in your stomach at his words and when you finally got to the dance floor, you released his hand to face him, resting both of your own instead on his broad chest. Joel bit his lower lip, reaching down to rest his hands on your hips as you stepped closer to him, inches separating both your bodies. 

You both swayed to the music, eyes still staring intently at one another as the lights flashed in the club. It seemed like everyone around you seemed to disappear and the only person that was in focus was Joel. You wondered if it was the alcohol that was making you feel like this, or if you were genuinely interested and attracted to him. 

“You’re a real southern gentleman, aren’t you?” you whispered into his ear, trying to make your voice loud enough so that he could hear it over the music. 

Joel let out a quiet chuckle. “I was always taught to treat a lady with respect, so sure.” 

“Lucky me,” you smiled, pulling back to look up at him. “You don’t have a girlfriend?”

Joel cleared his throat. “Nope, no time for one.” 

“Why’s that?” you asked curiously.

Joel shrugged, not wanting to tell you – a woman he just met – that he was a father to a six year-old girl. It was already tough enough to tell the women he had been interested in before that he had a daughter and being only in his late twenties (twenty-eight to be exact), it was hard to find a woman who wanted to be in a serious relationship with him at this age. 

“Just busy,” he answered instead.

“You’re mysterious,” you replied. “I like it.”

“And you?” Joel asked. “No boyfriend? Kind of hard to believe that you’re single.”

You cleared your throat. “As of two weeks ago, I’m single.” 

“Ah, I’m sorry.” 

“It’s whatever. Wanna grab another drink?” You pulled away from him, not bothering to wait for him as you walked back to the bar to order a shot of tequila instead. Joel sighed to himself and followed you, watching as you downed the shot with ease. His hand rested on the middle of your back, looking down at you with soft eyes. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to–”

“It’s not your fault. I’m just trying to forget.” You interrupted, glancing around the club for your group of friends, but not being able to find them. Instead, you looked up at Joel and leaned up to press your lips against his. Joel widened his eyes and moved his hands to rest on your hips, pulling you away before your lips could connect with his. 

“You’re drunk,” he said. 

“So?”

“So, I’m not taking advantage of you or letting you make a stupid decision because you’re drunk. Where are your friends? You should probably get home.” 

“They left,” you said, feeling rejected and embarrassed. You turned around to order yourself another drink before Joel shook his head and gently took your hand, pulling you away from the bar and outside of the club. Once outside and underneath a street light, Joel caught a better glimpse of you, what you looked like, and what you were wearing. 

You were absolutely stunning. 

But deep down, Joel could see the pain in your eyes. 

“I’m gonna take you home, how’s that?” Joel said. 

“I don’t want to go home.” You sighed, beginning to walk away from him and away from the club. 

Joel cursed under his breath and walked over to you, trying to catch up with your strides. “Hey, hey…” he rested a hand on your lower back, now away from the loud music and the crowd of people. “Let me take you home.” 

“I don’t want to go home,” you repeated. You looked up at him, tears stinging your eyes. “I don’t want to be alone.”

Joel bit the inside of his cheek, truly at a loss for words. He didn’t know what to do. You barely knew him and he barely knew you. He wasn’t the type of person to just go home with someone he just met. 

But there was something about you that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Joel found comfort in your presence and even if you both got off on the wrong foot and he was being a bit grumpy when he met you, Joel found the walls he normally put up around new people slowly come down with you around. 

He said your name quietly, watching as you stared up at him with eyes filled with sadness and heartbreak. “How about– How about we get some food then?” 

“I’m not your problem,” you sighed. “I can handle myself. I’ll be fine.”

“I ain’t lettin’ you walk around downtown on a Friday night dressed like that by yourself,” Joel replied. “We’re getting somethin’ to eat.” 

“Dressed like what?” you asked. 

Joel narrowed his eyes. “You know exactly how you look, don’t play coy with me, darlin’.” He moved to rest a hand on your lower back, raising his free hand in the air to flag down a cab. Once the car pulled up to the curb, he opened the door for you and allowed you to slide inside first before he climbed into the car. 

“Cozy Corner diner,” Joel said. “It’s about ten minutes from here.” 

The cab driver nodded and pulled away from the curb, driving towards the diner that Joel mentioned. You sighed quietly to yourself and leaned against Joel’s frame absent-mindedly, your eyes falling shut. Joel bit his lower lip and looked down at you, gently moving an arm to wrap around your shoulders and allowing you to snuggle closer to him. 

“Cozy Corner, huh?” you whispered. 

“They have the best milkshakes,” Joel said. He wanted to tell you that he and his daughter, Sarah, were regulars at the diner; it was something that he and Sarah looked forward to every Sunday morning. He didn’t know what it was about you that made him want to open up and lower the walls he surrounded himself with, but he was yearning to spend more time with you, to get to know more about you.

After about ten minutes, the cab pulled up to the diner and Joel paid the man before climbing out of the car and helping you to your feet. You stumbled out of the cab, your hands bracing on his shoulders as you leaned into his broad frame. Joel looked down at you, hands resting on your hips as inches separated your lips.

“I got you, darlin’,” he whispered. 

You looked up at him and bit your lower lip before trying to lean in to kiss him again before he pulled away. Once more, you reddened with embarrassment and didn’t bother waiting for him as you walked towards the entrance of the diner. 

“Wait up,” Joel called out. He let out a sigh and walked over to you; he was attracted to you, but it was obvious that you were not in the right headspace for anything to happen. “Hold on,” he sighed. 

“Listen, if you’re not attracted to me or whatever, stop being–”

“What?” Joel interrupted. “I told you. I don’t want to take advantage of you and–”

“I’m the one that’s tried to kiss you twice already and both times, you pulled away. It’s fine.” 

You opened the door to the diner before Joel gently took your hand and pulled you into him. He cupped your cheek, running his thumb across your soft skin as he stared at you with clear desire and want in his eyes. 

“You’re absolutely beautiful, darlin’, but you ain’t in the right state for anything to happen between us. Believe it or not, I’m not that type of guy.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” you whispered, leaning into his touch. “I don’t know why you’re being so nice to me.”

“Let’s just say I can relate to the pain you’re feelin’,” he pulled away and opened the door, allowing you to step inside. “How about we get some milkshakes and drown in our feelings?” 

You smiled, tears stinging your eyes. “Milkshakes sound great.” 

“Yeah, let’s get you sobered up, darlin’.” 

You were both immediately seated at a booth and you were already on your second glass of water to help even out the amount of alcohol you had earlier that night. Joel had been so patient with you, which was a complete turnaround from when you first both met. 

You excused yourself to go to the bathroom, the second glass of water hitting your system. Joel was seated at the booth, waiting for you when the waitress came by and flashed him a wink.

“About time you got a date, handsome,” she laughed.

“Oh, it ain’t a date, Penny,” Joel cleared his throat. “I was out with Tommy tonight and–”

“It’s alright, darlin’,” she smiled. “You deserve a night out to yourself.”

“It ain’t like that,” he sighed. “She’s just–”

“Well, whatever it is, she’s beautiful, Joel.” 

“She is, isn’t she?” Joel smiled. “Anyway, can we get two milkshake swirls?” 

“Coming right up, sweetheart.”

After a few minutes, Joel saw you walk back towards the booth. He let his eyes rake over your frame, taking note of the dress that clung to your curves, the thigh high slit that exposed your leg. 

“You okay?” Joel asked, seeing you slide in across from him. He noticed your eyes were slightly red and you were wiping away some fallen tears. 

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine.” 

Joel sighed, looking around the diner and seeing Penny flash him another wink. He nodded in her direction before turning his attention back onto you. 

“I ordered us some milkshakes. You want anythin’ else?” 

“Maybe a burger and some fries?”

Joel smiled. This was new. The women he went out with were always more conscious with what they were eating in front of him. “Got it.” He raised his hand and Penny walked over to them, flashing you the kindest and welcoming smile you ever seen. Her presence brought a sense of comfort and you looked up at her to return her smile with one of your own.

“Can we get two burgers and an order of large fries, Penny?” 

“Anything for you, handsome.” Penny smiled. 

You looked between the waitress and Joel, taking note of the familiarity between them both. 

“I come here often,” Joel said.

“Every Sunday,” Penny grinned. “One of my favorite customers.”

“Ah,” Joel chuckled. “You’re only sayin’ that because I leave a big tip.” 

“Well, yes,” she smiled. “And also because you and your little girl always brighten up my Sunday morning.” 

Little girl. You arched a brow in his direction and saw Penny leave the table to give your food orders to the kitchen. Joel cleared his throat, looking over at you and noticing the curiosity in your features.

“I have a daughter,” Joel blurted out.

Your brows arched upwards in surprise, tilting your head. “You’re a dad?” 

“Had her young,” he sighed. “Sorry, that’s not somethin’ I usually tell to someone I just met.” 

“Why’s that?” 

Joel shrugged. “I’m a twenty-eight year old single dad with a six year-old daughter. Not plenty of women my age are looking to be in a serious relationship with someone who already has a kid.” 

“Seems like you’re attracting the wrong kind of women then,” you said. “What’s her name? Your daughter, I mean.” 

Joel smiled, feeling an odd sense of relief fill the pit of his stomach. Maybe you were right. Maybe the women he had been with in the last few years were just the wrong kind of people. But here you were, a complete stranger with your own emotional baggage, eager to learn more about him and his daughter. 

“Her name’s Sarah,” he replied. “She’s an amazing kid.” 

You smiled. “Do you have any pictures? I mean, if that’s okay. You don’t have to–”

Joel took his wallet out and pulled out a small polaroid of a photo of Sarah on her most recent birthday. Her brown curls shaped her face and her smile matched Joel’s, with more obvious dimples on both sides of her cheeks. 

“She’s got your eyes,” you pointed out. “And your smile.” 

Joel’s heart filled with pride and he smiled, gently taking the photo and placing it back into his wallet. “Thanks.” 

“And her mom?” You asked.

Joel cleared his throat. “Don’t like talkin’ about it, but let’s say she’s not in the picture.”

You bit your lower lip. “Sorry.” 

“Not your fault, darlin’. What about you?” 

“What about me?” 

“Seems like the person who broke your heart is still lingerin’...” 

“We were together for four years,” you whispered, biting your lower lip as you felt tears begin to pool at your eyes. “Found out he had been cheating on me for several months.” 

“Shit,” Joel whispered. “M’sorry.” 

“Is it something about me?” You asked yourself, looking down at the table. “Was I not enough?” You were mainly talking aloud, not directly asking Joel to answer any of these questions. It had been something that haunted and plagued your thoughts ever since you found out. 

“Oh, darlin’, I–” 

Joel was interrupted when Penny came by to the booth, setting the milkshakes and food on the table. You quickly reached up to wipe at your eyes, clearing your throat. What were you thinking? You barely knew Joel and he didn’t need to hear anything about your failed relationship; he certainly didn’t need to hear you feeling sorry for yourself either. 

“This looks amazing,” you told Penny, looking up at her with a small smile. “Thank you.”

Penny’s eyes softened instantly at the sight of you and she reached over to rest a comforting hand on your shoulder. “Whatever you need, sweetheart, just call my name and I’ll be right over here. You’ve got good company with this one too,” she winked, motioning over to Joel. 

“Thank you, Penny,” you whispered, biting your lower lip. 

Joel let a small smile line his lips before nodding his thanks to Penny. The older woman left the both of you to tend to her other patrons and Joel was about to say something before you interrupted him.

“I’m sorry,” you said with a sigh. “We shouldn’t be talking about what’s wrong with me and what went wrong in my relationship.” 

“The guy has no idea what he’s missing,” Joel shrugged. “You seem like a great girl.” 

“You barely know me.” 

“Very true,” Joel nodded. “But you seem like the type of girl who’d stick by her partner no matter how hard it gets. That’s hard to come by in people these days…” 

You dropped your eyes to the table, reaching over to grab a single fry to lift to your lips. Joel’s assumption about you was correct; you always had been the type of person to stick by your friends or boyfriends, even if it didn’t benefit you, even if the majority of the time, you were taken advantage of. 

“M’sorry…” Joel sighed. “I didn’t mean to overstep. I just–”

“No, it’s okay,” you interrupted. “Guess things happen for a reason, or whatever.” 

Joel snickered. “Things happen for a reason? You really believe that?” He grabbed his burger and lifted it to his lips, taking a large bite as he stared at you. 

You shrugged. “I don’t know,” you answered honestly. “Still trying to figure out why all of this happened.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t try to figure it out,” Joel proposed. He watched you take a bite of your burger, letting a prideful smile line his lips when he heard you let out a sigh of contentment. 

“You know, my friends told me that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”

Joel was mid-bite, almost choking on his food as he looked at you with wide eyes. “And that’s… Is that why you–”

“Calm down, Joel,” you giggled. “I’m not that type of girl.”

“Yet, you tried to kiss me twice.”

“And you rejected me. Twice.” 

Joel narrowed his eyes, his gaze lowering to your lips briefly. “Like I said, you were drunk.”

“Exactly,” you quipped. “Drunk, heartbroken me is not really me.” 

Joel furrowed his brows in confusion. “That makes no sense at all.” 

“Makes sense to me.” 

You smiled at him and continued to eat. Joel was completely taken aback by you and how easy it was to just talk to you. At the beginning of the night, Tommy had to practically drag Joel out of the house after the babysitter stopped by to look after Sarah. The entire drive to the club, Joel was grumpy. He didn’t want to be out when he could have spent it with Sarah, but Tommy was right. Joel needed a break and while the night started out rough, he was glad that he came out because if he didn’t, he wouldn’t have met you. 

A couple of hours pass and you and Joel finish your food and milkshakes, sharing stories from your lives. It was well past midnight and Joel’s phone started to ring. He excused himself for a moment and stood from the booth, walking outside to take the call. 

You leaned back against the booth, obviously very full and now completely sober. The more you talked with Joel, the better you felt. Since coming to the diner and spending more time with Joel, you realized that Robert hadn’t crossed your mind. It felt nice to gain back control over your life. It also helped that you were attracted to Joel and the fact that he was a father just made him more endearing; you were tired of dating men that were too immature for you. You were only a few years younger than Joel, but he had been more mature than most of the guys you had ever been with.

After a few minutes, Joel stepped back inside the diner and slid back into the booth across from you. 

“Sorry about that,” he said. “It was just Tommy checking in to make sure I was okay.” 

“Gotta head home?” you asked.

Joel shook his head. “He’s looking after Sarah, so…” 

“Do you want to come back home with me?” you asked hesitantly. “I’m sober and I promise that I won’t try to kiss you again.”

Joel bit his lower lip. Now that you were sober, it was all that Joel could think about. How your lips would feel against his own, your body pressed into his. But aside from the desire he felt for you, he found your presence to be even more comforting and he certainly didn’t want this night to end either. 

“Will that be okay?” He asked. “I don’t want to impose and–”

“Do you like coffee?” you interrupted him.

Joel nodded. “Can’t leave the house without it every morning.”

You smiled, standing from the booth. Joel followed your movements, setting down enough money (plus a big tip for Penny) on the table. 

“Come on then.” 

“Where we goin’?” 

“You’ll see.”

---

next.

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal character #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfic #joel miller #the last of us #tlou #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fanfic #tlou fanfic #tlou fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #no-outbreak!joel miller #joel miller au #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x f!reader (you) #story: always been you #joel miller x fem!reader

[itsmealaiah]

Torn into pieces

A/n: Thank you so much to @ilovehueningbahiyyih for this request ❤️ 🫶 love you 😘

2023 Bill x fem reader

Synopsis: after a breakup with your boyfriend of two years, you get drunk trying to forget at the twin's birthday party, to which Bill ends up having to take care of you.

(Angst)

warnings/ tags: none really, just intoxication

Your POV:

"You're a bitch!" He screamed at me. "Why can't I just ever have a night out without you fucking harassing me?!" I trembled as he neared closer to me, throwing his hands up in pure, unbridled rage. I was sobbing, tears running down my face as he continued his incessant shouting.

"I'm leaving, we're done," He remarked, walking away from me. I gasped in shock. "No! Please! I need you!" I clutched onto him, to which he pushed me off. "Get off, I never want to see you again" He opened the door, slamming it shut once he left. I was crying, screaming, throwing everything around in sight. 

That was nearly two months ago, and my pitiful ass still hadn't gotten over it. I tried everything, retreats, therapy, long, late-night talks with friends, and even apologizing to him through multiple texts and calls, which probably didn't help in my case.

Tonight though, I was going to try my best. Bill, one of my closest friends since I met him by accident in twenty-fourteen, was throwing a huge party for him and his twin brother's birthday party. I had to look presentable, even though I felt like complete and utter shit on the inside.

I hadn't told Bill, nor had I planned on telling him at all. I didn't have the heart to tell him another relationship failed, all because of me. I was perusing through the fancy clothing I had, trying to find something that was good enough for a party such as this. 

"Yes!" I exclaimed, taking one of the dresses off the rack. It was a beautiful, elegant silky green short dress that hugged and showed my curves, leaving positively nothing to the imagination. I was surprised I even had such a gorgeous item.

(for reference 😍)

I rushed to grab my keys, phone, a hair tie in case I needed it, and the twins' gift. I opened my car door, starting the engine. Thrill, a tiny bit of fear, and joy were coursing through my veins. 

I pulled up the directions on my GPS that Bill gave me, and pulled out of my driveway. It was their thirty-fourth birthday, and I was so happy for them. Maybe this night by itself would be enough for me finally to forget.

I know my ex had most likely already forgotten long ago. I arrived at the party, turning off my car. I had a huge smile plastered across my face, carrying the gift in my petite hands. I walked into the venue, greeted by loud music, the smell of sweat, and a huge whiff of alcohol. They always knew how to throw a bash, though.

I placed my gift at the table where all the others were and made a beeline for the bar. I just wanted to drink, not socialize, and go home. "Hey, can I get a Cuban breeze?" I queried, looking straight at the bartender. "Coming right up miss" He answered. "Thanks," I noticed someone approaching me. It looked like.. Bill? "Hey, you came! Thought you were gonna be a no-show" 

He laughed, nudging me in the side gently. I chuckled. "Made a special appearance just for you Billy" I tapped his nose. "Happy thirty-fourth." I hugged him. "Thank you" I pulled away and saw him with a huge grin on his face.

"So, did you guys do anything big and extravagant today? Go to a club, get McDonalds, nails done, anything?" He pondered for a second before he said anything. "Ooh!" He spoke up. "I did get my nails done" He beamed and I gasped. "Let me see! I bet they look just as fabulous as you"

"Oh stop, you're gonna make me blush" He held out his hand for me to see the nailwork. As expected, they look simply stunning. "You need to refer me to your nail tech, they look incredible." I gushed, admiring them. "Thank you y/n" He beamed, taking his hand back. "So, what's the plan for tonight?" I asked, noticing my drink was ready.

I grabbed it and took a sip. "Well," He began. "Mingle with the guests for a little, have some drinks, later on, make a toast, and finally have the cake I've been waiting for all day long" He answered with a huge grin on his face. "Sounds like a great plan" I declared. "I gotta go talk with some more guests, it was great seeing you!" He shouted walking away.

I downed the rest of my drink, ordering more. I needed to get blackout drunk, it would get my mind off of him. 

slight time skip

I was about to pass out, I had consumed an ungodly amount of drinks in the past hour. My head felt weak, and my legs were on the verge of giving out as I stepped outside the venue, trying to reach my car. My eyeline of sight went black.

Bill's POV:

It was almost time for me to make the special toast I had been waiting for all night. I was over the moon, until I saw a shaky figure walking out. They looked to be shitfaced entirely, and I became concerned. They managed to get outside, taking a few paces before passing out. "Oh God" I muttered to myself, rushing over to help them.

Pushing my way through the extensive sea of people was not an easy feat. Some forced me to pull them apart as they were so caught up in each other. I finally reached the person who fell, immediately noticing that it was y/n. "Holy shit" I gasped, trying to wake her up. I gently slapped her face. "hey hey hey, wake up" I said worriedly, beginning to try and shake her awake. 

Her eyes began to flutter open, and she woke up. I sighed with relief. "You okay?" I asked, holding her in my arms. "I'm so sorry" She whined, burying herself into my chest. "For what?" I questioned, confused. "For getting this drunk" I frowned. "Oh honey it's okay, we all do stupid things sometimes, no need to get upset," I reassured her soothingly, softly rubbing her back. 

"Do you know where your car is?" I stood up, pulling her with me. She shook her head. "That's okay. Do you have your keys?" She held her hand up, the keys in her palm. "That's good," I said, taking them and pressing the unlock button. A car beeped in the distance, and I held her under my arm, walking her there. 

She stumbled a few times, to which I had to hold her with a firm grip. I finally got to her car, opening the door for her, and placing her in the passenger seat. She fell asleep almost instantly, leaving me to my own devices. I started the drive back to her apartment, I knew the way by heart. I was going to have to call Tom and tell him I was spending the night at y/n's place, but I needed her passcode, and she was in a state of shittiness. 

I reached the apartment complex, parked the car, and shut it off. I walked around her side, unbuckling her seatbelt. Her legs wrapped around my waist, her face nuzzling into my neck. I sighed and wobbled up the stairs leading to the small apartment. Luckily, her key to the place was on the chain for her car keys. I fumbled with them for a second, getting the door open.

I laid her body on the couch, going to the kitchen to grab water and some Advil. "Hey you're awake, I got you some medicine and a drink," I said, walking over to her. She mumbled a small 'thanks'. I nodded. "I can sleep on the couch if you want, there's really no point in me going back to the party," I stated. "Yeah that's okay," She said, getting up. "Can I ask why you got so drunk?" 

Y/n's POV:

I froze, trying to come up with a half-decent lie. "Well?" He demanded, voice more stern now. I began to fiddle with my fingers, turning so my back was facing him. "I just wanted to get drunk" I blurted out. "That's not the reason, and you know it" I sighed. "Fine, it was because of my boyfriend, happy?" I was angry now, he had no reason to force something out of me that caused me an immense amount of trouble.

"Don't be like that" He scoffed. "Oh please, you asked and I answered. I don't need your shit Bill" I hissed. "Fuck you," He remarked. "I have done nothing but help your sorry ass, and this is how you treat me? Pitiful." Tears began to cloud my eyes. "I'm staying here until the morning, then I'll get out of your life." He uttered. "Bill, wait I didn't mean that-" He cut me off. "No, I'm pretty sure you did, so I'm doing you a favor. Night" He uttered, flopping onto my couch.

I huffed, walking to my room. I felt a tear slip down my face as I curled into my bed. I got too pissed off, and I hurt Bill in the process. It was the alcohol talking, my head was currently still pounding even after I swallowed the pills. I had made him upset on his birthday, of all days. 

I loved our friendship, and I'm certain he did too. So I wasn't going to let it die. "Bill?" I called out, walking to the couch. "What?" He murmured. "I'm sorry, I was mad, I shouldn't have said those things to you. I really appreciate you always taking care of me, and making sure I'm safe." I explained. He smiled softly. "Thank you, but what happened with your boyfriend?" He asked, eyebrows furrowing.

"He wouldn't tell me where he was, said I was a bitch for saying something, and that I should leave him alone. Haven't seen em' since." I shrugged. He looked somber. "Aw y/n, that sucks, but he probably wasn't good enough for you" He teased and laughed. I joined, a faint smile pulling at the edges of my mouth.

"Yeah, you're right." I walked over to the kitchen. "But since I pulled you away from your party, how about we have a little toast to ourselves?" I grabbed two glasses and Bill quickly rose from the couch. "Yay!" He exclaimed, rushing over. I poured some champagne in both of them. "To our friendship." I raised my glass. "To new relationships" He did the same, and kissed my lips. 

A/n: I'm so sorry yall I pulled this out of nowhere, I've been exhausted these past few days.

#bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz fanfic #bill kaulitz #tokio hotel x you #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel #tom kaulitz #tom kaulitz imagines #itsmealaiah

[cupidsdiskk]

call me

pairing: bakugo x reader

warnings: smut, cursing.

"shoto, i'm going out with the girls. i'll be back tonight." you say as you put on your earrings. "kay babe. be safe." he says, walking over to you and giving you a kiss on your forehead. you hear a honk come from the driveway. "ooh! must be mina. bye babe love you." you rush out the house, getting into the car. "took ya long enough! now, are you ready to party?" mina says as you get in the backseat next to momo. in the front is jiro, sitting next to mina. "hell yeah! like there's no tomorrow." you retort. you guys get to the club, getting in line. "ooh i'm so excited, i haven't been out in forever because shoto doesn't want me going without him." you giggle excitedly. "well, today you forget about him. because we're gonna be so drunk until our asses fall off." jiro laughs. as you walk into the club, loud music bursts in your ears. your instantly filled with excitement as momo rushes you towards the bar. "4 shots, please!" mina asks the bartender. they hand you your drinks as you all down them, instantly darting for the dance floor. you dance alone, getting separated from your group. you make eye contact with a certain blonde haired guy. you tease him as you dance sexily, he gives you a smirk. as he walks over, you feel your heart race. *oh god, what am i doing..* you think in your mind. "well. what's a girl like you doing here all by yourself?" he asks you. "i'm not alone, i came with a group." you say, smirking. "oh yeah? well, i don't see them. i guess it's just you and me now." he says lowly as you blush. you hold eye contact with him for a few seconds, but what seems like forever. "I'm Bakugo." he suddenly says. "Y/N." "what a fitting name for someone as pretty as you. what do you say we get out of here?" he asks. you hesitate, thinking of shoto at home. "oh come on, i don't bite," he leans toward your ear "unless you want me to." you suddenly feel heavy, your breathing unsteady. you take his hand in yours. "let's go, then."

you arrive at his apartment, watching as he opens his apartment door. as soon as you two walk inside, he grabs you and pins you against the wall. "i'm gonna make you scream my name so you won't forget it." he whispers lowly in your ear. he attacks your neck with kisses, leaving marks everywhere. he finally finds your sweet spot, knowing because of how responsive you are. his hands travel down your body, lifting up your dress as you moan from the lost touch on your neck. "such a little slut, huh." he smirks, looking down at your body. you look to the side, embarrassed. "now, now. don't be shy, i'm gonna make you feel so good tonight." his hands travel your body, lifting you up against the wall. you wrap your legs around him, grabbing hold of his hair. he puts his hands on your ass as he carries you to his room, dropping you on his bed. he crawls on top of you, putting his head between your legs. he makes eye contact with you as he slowly pulls your panties off. he inserts one finger inside of you, making you gasp. he moves his finger around slowly, adding another one. you moan as his fingers thrust inside of you. "b-bakugo.." "yes, dear? i want you to say what you want from me." he smirks up at you, adding another finger as he unhinges your bra, playing with your nipples. "bakugo.. i-" he sucks on your left boob as he plays with the other one, his three fingers thrusting faster inside of you. *overstimulation..* "say it." he demands. "f-fuck me. please.." you moan out, gasping for air. he removes his fingers, licking your juices off. "all 'ya had to do was ask." he smirks on top of you. he grabs a condom from the counter and rips it open with your mouth. you watch as he aligns himself, after finally shoving it in. you cry out in pain, you feel your walls stretching around his length. "shh.. it's okay." he says, moving slowly. as he notices when you start to enjoy it, he moves faster. his thrusts start increasing as you grip the sheets, moaning out his name. "bakugo!! f-fuck!" you feel yourself coming closer. "fuck.. y/n.." you hear him grunt lowly. hearing this brought you closer to the edge. his thrusts got more sloppily the closer you both got. finally, you both cum at the same time, moaning messes. he stays on top of you for about 5 more seconds, panting before dropping on your side, tossing the condom on the floor. "fuck.. you feel great." he breathily says, turning his head to face you. "i could say the same." you look at him, smiling. suddenly, you get a phone call. it's from shoto. hey where are you? it's 11 already. he asks. "oh um, i'm at mina's right now." you say as bakugo starts kissing your neck. ok. what time are you coming home? you try to bite back your moans as bakugo's hands travel down your stomach, reaching for your sensitive spot. "i-i don't know. maybe like 30 minutes." okay. do you want me to pick you up? you gasp as bakugo inserts two fingers into you, forgetting everything around you. you try your best to bite back your moans as bakugos finger rub through your juices. hello? y/n? "h-hi shoto. sorry mina just told me the craziest thing right now. i-i gotta go. bye." you say as you hang up the phone. by- you feel bakugos hot breath against your ear. "so. my names mina now, huh?" you moan as bakugo inserts another finger, plunging it inside of you. "oh well. i guess you won't be screaming my name, then." bakugo whispers into your ear as you feel yourself coming closer to the edge. "bakugo.. i-" you mutter out. "i know darlin', cum for me." you feel bakugos fingers going deeper and faster into you, and that sends you over. you do exactly as bakugo says, cumming all over his fingers. "well. i guess you better get home to your boyfriend." bakugo says, reaching over to grab your clothes. "oh yeah." you say as you slip on your dress. you feel arms wrap around your waist. "now, darlin'. a pretty girl like you should be in my contacts." you smile as you put your number into his phone. "call me, darlin'." you say walking out. meanwhile, bakugo felt heat rise to his cheeks. he would definitely be calling you.

#fanfic #smut #bakugo katuski x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugo #bakugo katsuki #katsuki x reader #bakugo x reader smut #bakugo x y/n #bakugo x y/n smut #fypツ #mha x reader #mha #mha smut #my hero academia #katsuki bakugo fic #fanfiction #bnha #todoroki x y/n

[anonymityisfunwriter]

Hits Different

"I trace the evidence, make it make some sense, why the wound is still bleedin', you were the one that I loved, don't need another metaphor, it's simple enough..."

Part of Inspired by Taylor Swift Series 'You're Losing Me' Chapter List Part 1

“I love you!”

“No, I love you!” you slur, leaning across the table to emphasize your point to Wanda.

“No, no, I love you," she furiously shakes her head, slurring back to you. "And you know what? If you and Bucky can’t figure this out, then - then love is a lie.”

Nat cringes at Wanda's bold statement, trying to grab her hand to pull her away from the conversation, “Wanda-“

Wanda drunkenly shoos away Nat's hand, slamming her glass down on the table so hard you're shocked it doesn't break in her hand, “No, it’s a lie! They are perfect for each other, Nat. Love is a lie!”

You fervently nod, your intoxicated mind wholeheartedly agreeing with Wanda, “Love is a lie!”

"You are both in long term, loving relationships, and you're both very, very drunk right now," Nat reasons, though it clearly goes in one ear and out the other.

Wanda leans over the table, grabbing your hands across the table, "You and Bucky are perfect together-"

"We're supposed to be getting her mind off of Bucky, not reminding her about him," Nat pointedly remarks, widening her eyes at Wanda, who doesn't seem to notice her faux pas.

"Bucky," you whimper, it was the first time you'd tasted his name in over a month. You so carefully avoided saying his name in your separation, saying it seems to open the floodgates, "I miss him."

Nat's mouth twists to the side, she gently coos, "I know you do, but -"

"We used to dance to this song all the time," you shout over the music, steamrolling over Nat's attempt to console you. You point to the speaker above you, "This was our song."

"You used to dance together?" Wanda blubbers. She turns to Natasha with wide, desperate eyes, "Nat, they used to dance together!"

Nat remorsefully sighs, regretting the moment she decided that she would stay at least mostly sober tonight, "I know, but right now, they-"

"We don't dance together anymore. He doesn't love me anymore," you brokenly whisper, tears welling in your eyes. 

"That's not true!" Nat insists. "Please don't cry. If you cry, Wanda -"

"Love is a lie," Wanda sniffles, mascara tears welling under her eyes. 

Nat groans, rubbing her temples. Even in the dim bar light, you can see the exasperation in her eyes as clear as day. 

You understand Nat's frustration with you. You never don't cry anymore. These days it seems like you're always crying, at every bar, at every club. This isn't the first time you've absolutely demolished the upbeat atmosphere of a night out with your sadness. 

It was contagious, and you wouldn't be surprised if you soon stopped receiving invitations.

He made a permanent mess of you. 

"I should get another drink," you announce, harshly planting your hands on the table. 

Natasha grips your hand, keeping you from taking off, "Not a chance, unless that drink is water."

You squeeze her hand, pulling her close to you, "I'll get custody of you guys, right? I know you have to work with him and you knew him first, but you're my friends too, right?"

"Of course we're your friends," Nat promises. 

"Maybe I can get you guys on the weekend," you mutter.

"I don't think we need to worry about custody agreements just yet, alright?" Nat tries to assuage your concerns, she drops your hand, giving your shoulder a comforting squeeze, "If I'm being honest, I still think you can work things out. He loves you."

"I thought that too," you softly cry. You wipe away the tears, your face heating up with a terrible combination of alcohol, misery, and embarrassment. "I need some air."

"I'll go with you," Nat tells you, stopping you before you can leave. 

"What about Wanda?" you ask, stumbling as you stand up from the both you'd occupied all night. Nat looks down at Wanda, Wanda's head slumped against Nat's shoulder, still crying her eyes out. "I just need air. I'll be fine. Pinkie promise."

"If you're not back in 5 minutes, I'm going to come find you."

"Scout's honor!" you exclaim. 

"You were never a Girl Scout," Natasha yells after you. 

You weave your way through the crowds of people. No one seems to notice how desperately you want to escape this bar, and tonight, you're not above pushing and shoving. 

When you finally make your way outside, you notice that the cool night does nothing to soothe the ache in your heart and the knotted feeling in the pit of your stomach. You prop yourself up against the brick wall and take the deepest breath you possibly can. 

"Tough night?" the bouncer asks. 

"Tough month," you admit, wrapping your arms around yourself to protect yourself from the frosty night. 

"Whoever he is, he's an idiot," the bouncer offers. "Doesn't know what he lost."

You sniffle, wiping away the tears on your cheeks, "Thank you, Mr. Bouncer."

You didn't believe the bouncer.

Not when you could still see it so clearly in your mind. 

Bucky, just like you, knew exactly what he'd lost.

There is no washing your hands of something that was still staining every inch of your skin, like a wine stained dress you couldn't wear anymore.

You'd memorized every aspect of Bucky. There was not a part of him you didn't know. Just like there wasn't a single part of you that he hadn't touched. You think of the little wrinkles in the corner of his eyes, the scruff he'd always wake with, the slope of his nose, you knew every piece of him. And you knew it by heart. 

It all appears in flashes, little snippets of memories that you never wanted to let go of. And you think of him, of the way he used to look at you, the way he used to hold you, of what you shared - and you picture him sharing that with someone else.

You're not quite sure if it's the copious amounts of liquor in your veins or the image of the love of your life finding a new, better, greater love. Waves of nausea wash over you so quickly that it overwhelms you.

You clap a hand over your mouth, biting back the bile burning in your esophagus.

It's no use as you rush forward to the curb, throwing up all over the street. Each time you picture him in love with other girls is another dry heave on the street. 

"I'm gonna go grab your friends," the bouncer says, though you barely hear him as you remain doubled over the curb. 

"Thank you," you hear Nat say only a minute or so later, jogging out to the curb. She grabs your hair with one hand, rubbing soft, soothing circles over your spine with the other, "I think now's a good time to call it a night."

"I'm sorry," you whimper. "I didn't mean to ruin the night."

"You didn't," Nat states, though even in your drunken state, you can tell she's lying. "I promise it's fine. We understand."

You look up at her hopefully, tears freely flowing down your cheeks, "You do?"

"We do." She stands up, flagging down a taxi cab driving down the street. "We just need to get you home and in bed."

"Okay," you sniffle as the taxi pulls up. "Home sounds good."

She unsubtly ushers you into the taxi, "Come on, let's get you in the cab."

"Wait, I left my jacket inside!" you abruptly exclaim, popping back out of the cab.

Nat sighs, clearly a little frustrated with dealing with you and Wanda. She stops you from getting out with a firm hand on your shoulder, "I'll go grab it. You stay here while I go get Wanda, alright?"

You obediently nod, "Okay."

She turns back with a threatening expression like she can see the scheming lurking in your eyes, "I mean it! No running off."

"I wouldn't dream of it," you drunkenly promise. "Cross my heart!"

Nat narrows her eyes at you, trying to determine the sincerity in your eyes. She sticks out an admonishing finger, "I'll be right back."

You keep nodding as she backs away from the curb, not breaking eye contact with you until she reaches the door. You shut the car door the moment that Nat enters the bar. "Can we go now?"

The taxi driver looks back at you with a vaguely concerned expression, though you get the sense that it's less for your safety and more for the fact that you're drunk in his backseat, "What about your friends?"

"I'll text them on the way."

He purses his lips in clear displeasure, debating if this ride was worth the cab fare.

"Can you just take me home?" you quietly plead with the taxi driver. "Please?"

The driver sighs in concession after a moment, "You wanna tell me where home is?"

You prattle off your address. He looks back at you one last time, he sighs, nods, and drives off, "Just don't throw up in my back seat."

"I wouldn't dream of it," you mutter. 

You lean your head against the window of the cab, watching as the streets pass you by. Each flickering street light, each traffic light, every intersection is just a little bit closer to where your heart still resided. 

By the time the cab comes to a stop in front of your old apartment, some of your intoxication has faded.

Just not sober enough to stop you from doing something stupid.

You pay the driver, collect your things, and hop out of the cab. 

You stumble your way into the apartment building, up the elevator, down the hall.

After fussing with the keys in your bag, it takes you far longer than you'd care to admit to get the door unlocked. 

You fling open the door, stumbling into the dark apartment. 

"Hello?" you call into the darkness. 

No response.

"Hello?" you over-enunciate. 

No response again.

You stumble on, your hand clumsily feeling for the light switch against the wall. You victoriously chuckle when the room is finally illuminated. 

What you find is not something that you're ready to bear witness to. 

There is no life here. No warmth. No light. Everything you once loved is gone. He is gone. Everything is exactly as you left it, and yet, it is all gone. 

The room is sobering. Both mentally and physically. And you're not ready to be sober just yet.

You stumble around to the liquor cabinet, skipping over the bottles of wine and champagne and straight to Bucky's expensive bottle of whiskey.

You know it's stupid. You know it's a decision you will regret when you wake up with the worst hangover of your life.

You know that, but in this moment, you swear you can feel sobriety slowing creeping up on you, and you can't bring yourself to face this emotional gravesite with a clear head. 

Not bothering with a glass, you put the bottle of Bucky's whiskey up to your lips. You take a long pull of a liquor you don't even like, and continue wandering through your home. 

It vaguely occurs to you that this isn't really your home anymore. You hadn't lived here since you'd left a month ago. You'd only been brave enough to sneak in once to get more clothes under the absolute certainty that Bucky was away on a mission. 

Even though you had a key, even though you'd picked out every piece of furniture, even with your name on the lease, this wasn't your home anymore. 

You shakily suck in a breath, trying to keep the tears at bay. 

You drag your leadened feet through the apartment, trailing your fingertips over the cool class of pictures frames filled with better days. You keep rummaging through the apartment, hoping to trace the evidence back to where things went wrong.

It didn't make sense. 

When did it go wrong? When was love not enough? And when did you stop dancing with him?

You loved dancing with him. You'd always believed in fairytales in secret. You treated it as your most sacred wish, your most secret desire. Before him, you'd let that wish go, you'd given up. And when you found him, you were certain that this was your fairytale ending. You couldn't believe you'd found someone so perfect, someone who made you believe again.

You loved him so much. He was all you wanted. And it still wasn't enough.

He was it for you, you were sure. There would be no one else. No one else could compare. You'd already given your heart away with no intention of ever asking for it back. 

If he wasn't the one for you, why did it hurt this much? Why did freedom taste this bitter? 

You look out on the window sill filled with your houseplants, it fills you with an irrational joy that he hadn't let them die. 

You trailed through the artifacts of a great, life altering love, a love meant for the ages. A love that died young. 

You stop at Bucky's old baseball cap, remembering all the times he wore it early in your relationship to avoid being recognized in public. Compared to now, those days were so easy.

It was so bright, so full of love. You'd jumped without ever looking down. This was it, this is what awaited you in the pit of heartbreak.

You wipe away the tears, the hat still firmly in your grasp. You can't pull yourself together enough to recognize that you were crying over a hat.

Instead, you allow him to make a mess of you again. You slump down in the center of the floor, hat in one hand, bottle of whiskey in the other. 

You clutch the hat to your chest, choked sobs rack through your entire body. You hold the hat like it's the last piece of him you still have - mostly because it is the last piece of him you have.  

Before you can descend any further into your emotional breakdown, you hear a key turning in the door down the hallway. 

You lean your head against the wall, looking to the empty hallway. 

Is that his key in the door?

You were the only two that had keys to this apartment. It was a choice you made together. This was your place, not for anyone else. No one else would ever know this sanctuary like the two of you did.

Is it him?

You reconcile that maybe he gave the key to Steve, who gave it to Nat, who was here to take you away.

You didn't want to be taken away. 

"Baby?" You hear his voice echo from the door. Heavy footsteps thump down the empty hallway. "Doll? Baby, are you here? Can you please- "

His voice stops when he sees you slumped against the wall, bottle beside you, his old baseball hat in hand. You blink. Once. Twice. Three times, entirely convinced that this is a mirage after being deprived of your great love for so long. 

He stands before you for a moment. A lull in the mirage, you tell yourself. His wide, heartbroken eyes hold you captive, becoming more real with every step towards you. 

You don't say anything as he kneels before you. His ocean blue eyes are just as you remember. His familiar scent eases the pain for a moment. You swear you can feel the warmth rolling off of him. You can't help the softness that appears in your bloodshot, puffy eyes. 

"Hey," he whispers. He can't stop himself, his hand grazes your cheek, almost checking if this is real. "You were crying."

It was all one hell of a mirage.

You smile at him, a sense of ease and relief settles over you.

You wonder if it'll be okay now. If everything would finally be okay. 

He gently cradles you in his arms, lifting you up in one fluid motion. He knows he could've slung an arm around his shoulder instead of holding you in such an intimate way, but this feels right.

It feels right to have you back in his arms one last time. 

This time he knows it's the last time, he's sure you're not going to give him another chance, this time, he can cherish it, memorize the feeling of your warmth, of your touch. It gives him something to hold onto for the rest of his life. If he can't hold on to you, he'll hold onto the memory of you. 

"You used to believe in good. You used to believe in me," you softly cry into his chest.

Your breath dances across his collarbone, he memorizes that feeling too.

He gently kisses the top of your head, murmuring softly, "I still do. Always have, always will."

Part 3

AnonymityIsFun Masterlist Inspired By Taylor Swift

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated 💛

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#anonymityisfunwriter #anonymityisfun #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x female reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes one shot #bucky angst #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #reader insert #x reader #inspired by taylor swift #taylor swift #hits different #hits different taylor swift #bucky #bucky fic #bucky fluff #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes au #bucky x you

[author0405]

Long fanfic!

Tsukishima Kei x childhood rival! reader

Fluff & angst!

AN: Tsukishima and you had constant fights and Yams is just glad you both go to different schools or there'll be no more good terms.

It was another day at school of Fukurodani high you were at student council club while Kaori was looking for you everywhere when she found you.

"Y/N! Hey, you busy?"

"Hi Kaori! No, not at all, why?"

You asked her which she smiled at you as you both left the student council club.

As you both arrived back to the gym when Akaashi was getting fedup but sighed when he saw you rushing in with Kaori.

"Uh what's going on? Guys? What happened?"

"Well Y/N we're uh sorry to interrupt you with what you were doing at the student council club."

Konoha said to you which you understood very well and smiled.

"sigh remember we have a match with Karasuno the next day so we all must get a lot of sleep tonight."

You told them all as they nodded and smiled at you.

When everyone went home at 6p.m. knowing they'll have to get a lot of rest for tomorrow's match with Karasuno.

"So how was school today?"

Your mother asked you which you looked up from your phone with a slight smile that you have to tell your mom about the match.

"School was alright, but Fukurodani has a match tomorrow so I'm not sure when I'll be home."

"Hmm, I see. It's alright darling, just text me when you leave from Miyagi to be back in Tokyo."

Your mother said as you went to bed at 8:45p.m. it was rather early that you went to bed to sleep.

But before you could you sent Akaashi a quick message to say goodnight to him even if he didn't reply.

Timeskip: the next morning at Karasuno

When Fukurodani was getting ready for the match and same goes for Karasuno you saw that Kageyama wasn't there and wanted to ask but saw your rival Tsukishima.

"Y/N? Over here girl! Come, we're staring with the team."

Kaori said as she saw how the two managers said hi to you three managers even though you're a second year and the other two are third years.

When the match ended with Fukurodani who won the match with Karasuno that Fukurodani was cheering and they were happy about this.

As Karasuno was sulking and crying tears when you made eye contact with Tsukishima your childhood rival but when both teams weren't looking you both left.

"Tsukishima, what do you want?"

"Shush."

Tsukishima said as he held you against his chest real close when he heard Hinata and Yachi enter the bathrooms.

When the two of you looked through the stall then you both saw Hinata pushed against the counter and Yachi kissing him with tongue.

"Tsu-"

"Just be quiet, we can't let them know we're here."

You wanted to reply on that but soon you both saw their clothes were off and Yachi was fucked on Hinata badly.

Both of you were staring at each other as Tsukishima held onto your hand tightly and looked you in the eyes.

"What are we going to do about this? I need to pee."

"Oh gosh, they should've thought of fucking somewhere else other than the public bathrooms."

"Mmh, now I have to hold my pee in."

"Shh, just take it easy. And sit. Don't say a word about it."

Tsukishima said in a whispered voice to you as you felt the need to pee and it was urgent when you heard a couple of the Karasuno boys enter the bathroom which Hinata and Yachi finished got dressed and left.

"Okay, you still need to pee?"

He asked you which you were standing like you need to pee desperately and he just looked at you in disgust in someway.

But as the other boys left then you accidentally squatted down to take a piss but it went in your panty without him knowing.

"What are you doing?"

"Uh nothing, it's noth-"

Then he pushed you against the wall looking at you and accidentally started to kiss your lips deepening the kiss from usual.

As he kissed your lips you looked at him so confused and blushed.

#tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader #x y/n

[soccer-love]

Here is my idea for klara buhl reader and klara are together except reader plays for Frankfurt and signs for bayern to be with klara but klara dosent find out till she see reader at at training. There is my idea

Surprise 

Klara Bühl x reader

"I don't want to leave you." Klara whispers against my shoulder, her arms so tight wrapped around me, like I'm the only thing saving her from drowning.

"I know and I don't want to let you go, but we have to." I say, before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Nooooo."

"Come on, I know you miss your team." I say, holding back my laughter, she sounds like a five year old, trying to convince her parents to let her stay up late.

We've been a couple for over a year now and I'm still completely in love with her. The only hard thing is that I'm playing for Eintracht Frankfurt while she plays for Bayern Munich. So we spent a lot of time apart from each other.

"But I'm gonna miss you." she whines, tightening her grip on me.

"Okay, Klara seriously. I love you and I already miss you like crazy but if you're not going now, you will miss your train and then Syd and Lina will kill me for distracting you from training....again." I say, softly pushing her away from me.

I look at the watch on my wrist, only five minutes left till her train arrives.

The sad look in her beautiful green eyes makes me want to pull her back into my arms and never let go of her again.

I cup her cheek with my hand, before kissing her.

She wraps her arms around my shoulders, pulling me closer.

"I love you, to the moon and back." I whisper as we brake apart as the train stopping next to us.

"I love you to the sun and back." she says, pressing one last kiss onto my lips.

"Hey, Klara." I say, as she grabs her suitcase.

"Yeah." she looks up, giving me a big smile.

"Go and score some goals." I use our usual line, we say when someone leaves to play with their club.

"I will score them for you." she flirts, before going into the train.

Through the windows I watch her going to her seat and as the train leaves, she waves at me.

-----

"You look like shit." Laura says as I enter the locker room, dropping my bag town next to her.

"Well that's probably because I just had to watch my girlfriend leave and today is my last training with you." I say while starting to chance into my train cloths.

"You're literally going to see her again in two days and about the other ting, you're right that is sad." Laura answers, giving me a smile.

"You still haven't told her that you signed a contract with Bayern?" Sara asks from Lauras other side and I nod.

"Yeah and I will not to tell her, it's going to be a surprise." I explain, of curse I thought about telling her, knowing that she would be so excited about the fact that we're going to play for the same team, but then this idea came to my mind about just not telling her and surprising her.

The train is good, even though it makes me sad, knowing that this is my last train with most of them. Of curse some of them are playing in the national team with me, but not everyone.

At the end, our trainer team hugs me and gives me the best wishes for my future even though we're meeting again tonight since my team decided to throw a big party as a goodbye.

Géry picks me up at eight and while we drive to, wherever they decide to do the party but just didn't tell me, I get a text from Klara saying that she got home and misses me already.

I response with "Glad to hear that, miss you too ❤️" before putting my phone away.

As it turns out they rented one of my favorite bars and they invited literally everyone I know in Frankfurt.

"Thank you guys." I say, hugging my teammates like its my last on earth.

The evening is full with laughter, talking about old memories and I can't help but cry a little as the first people start to leave.

This club made a huge difference in my live, all the people I've meet, the games I played, things I've learned here and the fact that this was my first big club I singed a contract with.

At like two in the morning and many cries and hugs later, I get back to my apartment.

I decided to drive to Munich, around noon and my closest friends from the team said they would come by to say goodbye, which they really do what makes me almost cry again.

"You have to go now or I'm going to start cry." Tanja directs as, before pulling me into a hug.

She singed with Frankfurt only one year before me and were still here together.

"Jesus, by the way you act, it looks like your moving to the moon." Laura says leaning against my car next to us. "Munich is literally just 300 kilometers away from here, fours hours by car, three hours by train and one by plain."

"Oh go and annoy someone else with the fact that you know things like that." Tanja jokes, shooting a fake angry look at Laura.

"Drive safe." Laura says as I get into the car and I know that its kind of her way to say goodbye.

Its around 6pm when I arrive in Munich, I would've loved to stay with Klara but since I want to surprise her, I had to search for a different option.

I already meet my new team mates, the trainer and medical team a couple of weeks ago, when I was here to sing the contract. And I told them about my plan, surprisingly everyone was okay with it and some of them offered to help.

Like Caro Simon let me stay with her for the first night and also offered to give me a ride to the campus so Klara wouldn't see my car.

Lina and Syd distracted Klara before trying, so they would be to late and I could get chanced in the locker room with everyone else.

Most of my new team mates, took their phones with them outside to film Klaras reaction. Even the trainer team was excited, to see it.

A circle formed on the edge of the pitch as we we're waiting for Lina and Syd arrive together with Klara. And I could feel myself getting more and more excited.

"It's not my fault." Klara says as they stop next to us, not even noticing me.

I see the rest of the team holding back there laughter and the big smile on Lauras face makes it obvious that somethings up.

"What?" Klara asks, as she notices that everybody is looking at her but nobody says a single word.

"Do I have something on my face?" with the beck of her hand she rubs over her cheek, confused about probably everything.

I notice Sarah next to me, biting her lip, still holding back her laughter.

"Okay, can someone please tell me what's going on? I feel like I missed something important."

"Well don't you notice something different?" Maxi asks.

Klara looks around, past me and I almost think she didn't recognize me, but then she looks at me again.

"What are you doing here?" she asks, probably even more confused than before.

"May I introduce you to Y/N, I have no idea if you have a middle name, Y/L/N, star-striker of the german womens national team and Eintracht Frankfurt, your girlfriend and our new team mate." Lina says, pointing at me, like she had to show Klara that she really meant me.

Klara looks at me for a second, before running towards me and almost knocking me over as she hugs me.

The first one to burst into laughing is Laura, but I barely notice it, because I'm way to focused on my girlfriend right now.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asks, looking at me with her beautiful green eyes, gosh is there anyone more beautiful than her?

"I wanted to surprise you." I explain.

Klara opens her mouth to say something but then notices the laughing people around us and turns away from me, towards Lina and Syd.

"Wait you knew about this?"

"Of curse everyone knew, or why'd you think Laura is looking like she's about to die." Lina answers and she's right.

Laura is laying on the grass, gasping for air while crying because of laughing.

"I'm good, I'm good." she laughs as Giulia leans over her, checking if she's okay.

"You should see your face right now." Georgia adds while taking a photo of this moment.

"I hate you, all of you." she says while looking at our team mates, making them laugh only harder.

She then turns around to me.

"Not you, I love you."

#klara bühl #klara bühl x reader #giulia gwinn #sydney lohmann #linamagull #eintracht Frankfurt frauen #fc bayern frauen #woso x reader #woso imagine #dfbfrauenteam #fcbfrauen #fcbfrauen x reader

[resi4skz]

Is it that time again? Yes it is. Here's another drabble I wrote. Lemme know if you want a part 2 :p

Pairing: ChanxReader

Title: Miroh Club

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that we should," he takes a deep breath before looking in my eyes, "break up."

I blink at my boyfriend, Ben. "Where is this coming from?"

"Y/N, I can't keep doing this anymore."

"Do what exactly?"

"This!" He gestures between us two. "I can't keep on pretending that there is anything between us anymore. It's getting too tiring. I can't deal with you and your friends anymore."

So this was about him. This was always about him, my best friend since we were in diapers. Chan was the one person I won't let go, regardless of who I dated. "Okay."

Ben links in surprise. "Okay?"

"Yeah." I start to gather my things to put in my bag.

"So that's it?"

I look at him, zipping my bag. "Yup." I sling the bag over my shoulder.

"You're not even going to fight for us?"

I laugh. "You're funny, Ben. The minute my friends or anyone I care for came between us, it was always you that wanted me to leave them. It was always YOU." I point to him and walk to his apartment door. "I can't believe I wasted a year on you."

As the door closes, I half expected him to come running after me but that moment never came. I shoot a quick text to Chan.

Y/n: Where are you?

C: just finished gym so heading home, whats up?

Y/n: Can i come over?

C: yeah. Everything okay?

I don't even bother replying to him. I quickly reach my car, start the ignition and drive. I don't know why I was a crying mess by the time I parked in his driveway. And as I stood in front of the door, I rang the doorbell. But it wasn't who I was expecting to be standing behind it.

"Oh, hey!" Han, one of the roomates and very close friend of Chan. "I was just leaving to spend the weekend at Luna's."

Oh did I mention he's also dating my other best friend/roommate?

"Hannie, you know she loves coffee right?"

"Yeah?" He blinks at me, confused.

"And you know she loves sweet treats, right?"

"Are you saying I should stop by a bakery on the way?" He asks.

"That would be a wise choice," I give him a small smile as he grabs his keys and sprints to his car. I hear the engine revving as I see Chan walking towards me.

"Did Han leave?"

"Yeah."

He then looks at me, his eyes softening. "Babygirl, come here." He holds out his arms, and fresh tears fall down my cheeks as I wrap my arms around his back, sobbing into his chest. "It's okay. Let it out."

"I don't even know why I'm crying."

"Your feelings are valid," he gently pats my back. "Tell me all about it."

So I do. I tell him how Ben broke up with me for having friends that are boys. And how he was jealous of Chan. "Me?" Chan asks, munching on potato chips as we sat in the living room watching Harry Potter.

"Yeah," I scoff, reaching for a can of soda. "It's not like I'm not the only woman in the world to have so many guy friends. He didn't like how I always shared everything with you. I can't help it that we've been friends since we were in diapers."

"Where do you even find this dude?"

"Ugh," I groan. "I deleted tinder. No more dating apps."

He laughs. "Hey, in all fairness, it's his loss."

"Meh, he wasn't really my type anyway," I stated.

"And yet you dated him for 1 whole year." He laughs when I playfully hit his arm. "Hey, would you wanna hang out with the boys and I tonight? We're going to Miroh club."

I gasp. "How on earth did you manage to get in? It's impossible to even get in line."

He chuckles, as Harry finally spits out the golden snitch on the screen. "I have my ways."

----------------------------------------------------------

"Holy shit," I stare in awe as Chan and I walk inside Miroh club. It's already getting filled with people, and with the music echoing inside, there's a reason why this club is so popular. A lot of famous artists are known to visit it but tonight it's just the boys, who I see from afar and wave at Luna, who's currently sitting on Han's lap. That woman is whipped and Han is no better. But I'm happy for them.

"I'll grab you a drink and meet you there," Chan states and disappears in the crowd as I walk over to the VIP lounge. Jesus, how did Chan do this? "Hey," I say to Luna and the boys.

"Hey, you," Luna says, hopping off of Han's lap and sitting beside me. "I heard about you and Ben."

I wave my hand. "He's not important."

"Well, how about him?" She asks, gesturing towards Chan.

I whip my head towards him, chatting with someone. "Girl, be for real. He's my best friend."

"So? He's had a thing for you all these years."

"Wait, what?" I snap my head at her.

"Oh," she laughs, covering her mouth. "You didn't know? Why do you think he took his morning classes and studied his ass off so he could hang out with you at night? Why do you think you're the only one that knows the password to his laptop? And why do you think that girl is about to give him his number?"

I snap my back towards him again. The girl that Luna was talking was currently leaning against the bar, touching his arm. Sudden fury and rage flowed through my veins and I didn't know why. "And by the looks of it, I'd say you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous."

"Mmhmm, sure you're not." She elbows me. "Tell me, are you thinking about punching that girl?"

"No." Lie.

"Okay. Are you thinking about what if he takes her number and they start dating, he wouldn't have time for you like he does now?"

"No." More lies.

"Are you thinking of stomping your way there and.....kissing him?"

"What? No!" But every fibre of my being, I wanted to walk over to him and drag him out the bar and.....

"Girl, stop denying your feelings and go get him before it's too late."

I wasn't going to lie to myself. I did have a tiny crush in high school but it soon died when we became college students. Then once we graduated and landed pretty nice jobs, I made myself busy running my bakery with Luna. "Oh, there they go on the dance floor."

I blink back to reality and watch as Chan and girl he was talking to make their way to the dance floor. The girl immediately starts dancing really close to him, seductively as he reciprocates the moves. Closing my eyes, I try to control the jealousy I was feeling but open them again to see her grinding her hips against him.

Marching my way to them, my heels clicking against the floor. My mission was to rip her hands off him. "Get your hands off him." The music was too loud for them to even acknowledge me.

Okay. This is how she wants to play? Fine. I can play that game too. I grab her arm and pry it off him. She staggers back, looking at me. "What the fuck?!"

"Back off," I yell and I grab his hand, making our way through the crowd towards the exit. I caught a glimpse of Luna swaying her hips against Han. Okay that's an image I won't be able to forget for a long time.

Once outside, the cool crisp night air feels refreshing as he yanks his arm back when we're about half a block away. "Y/N, what the fuck?"

"Did you really have to pick her?"

"Y/N, she came on to me!"

I scoff. "Didn't look like it from where I was standing."

He blinks before laughing. "By any chance," he takes a step closer to me, "are you jealous?"

My cheeks heat and scoff. "In your dreams, pal."

He laughs as he takes another step forward till we're face to face. "It's okay to be jealous sometimes."

"I told you," I snarled through my teeth as I glanced up at him. "I'm not jealous."

Then he cups my cheeks and leans in, glancing up to my eyes. "Not even now?" He whispers.

From being this close to him, I could smell his vanilla scent, going up my nostrils and igniting a fire within me. "No."

He then leans much closer till our lips are almost touching. "Now?"

My body acts faster than my mind. "Shut up and kiss me." I wrap my arms around his neck, bring him down on my lips as his arms slide around my waist. Fuck me, he even tastes divine. Why I never told him about my feelings back then is beyond me. He turns my whole body and backs me up till my back hits a brick wall. He moans into the kiss, his hands cupping my ass cheeks and giving them a tight squeeze.

"Fuck, Y/N. What took you so long?" He breathes against my mouth.

I giggle, threading my hand through his black hair. "Is it wrong to say that I want to ditch the party and have a party of our own at your place?"

He growls at my request and attacks my jaw and neck with butterflies kisses. "Chan, please. There are people around."

"I don't give a fuck."

I gasp at his choice of words coming out of his mouth. "Then," I groan as he sucked and licked at a certain spot on my neck, which would turn into purple soon. "Take me home. Because I want you, Chan."

He slowly back up, his lips swollen and his eyes filled with lust. "Fuck. We're going home."

"Which one?"

"Mine," he growls the word as his brown eyes stared into mine, the heat travelling between my legs. "Because when you scream my name, it's going to be on my bed."

#bang chan #chris bang #christopher bang #stray kids bang chan #bang chan fanfic #stray kids #fanfic #oneshot

[suhfics]

Hide and Seek

Pairing: Jeno x reader

Word count: 8.6k

Contains: dumb shit that the characters did, a bit of humor, endless college parties, cigarettes, alcohol, brief mention of addiction, angst, fluff(?), Jaehyun Kun Hendery Jisung and Chenle cameo, mostly 00-line with Mark, i think that's all.

a/n: I finally finished this omygod i swear it took me so many months because if not for the writer's block, the characters just add and add and add scenes! This is longer than I originally planned and I hope I did it justice. and I rlly hope the ending is okay because I suck at writing endings. In no way am I promoting smoking, but if you do smoke pls do it moderately! There will be inaccuracies so pls do forgive me for that. Anw hope u enjoy this one as much as I enjoyed writing it!

It took you exactly 4 months, 23 days, 19 hours, and 58 seconds to realize that you have moved on from your recent ex. You're precisely sure because you had a tracker. And a journal.. and a jar full of paper cranes that you have folded everyday whilst thinking about how you miss the guy. 

But today is the third day you ditched folding cranes, and there are also three pages in your heartbreak journal that are still empty. 

Your stopwatch has finally stopped and you are very determined to celebrate it with your best friends. And so you called up Renjun, can't wait to declare that you are finally done crying for a boy you used to know. 

"We're actually at Seb's! You should come!" He was practically screaming into the phone, trying to drown out the loud background noise from the club and Haechan's noisy ass bickering with someone. It's probably Jaemin. Not a surprise. 

"Is that Mark I hear?" You asked right after you heard a series of laughter, too familiar and too funny not to notice. 

"Yeah!! We met them here!! Enough talking and come over here already!!" Renjun /was/ shouting. Was it that loud there? 

That question was answered by Haechan screaming "MARK LEEEEE!" 

Yep. Definitely loud over there. 

"Be right there!" You answered enthusiastically before hanging up. 

You wore the sexiest party dress you have because you felt like going wild tonight. Pairing it with a comfy yet cute heels because you know you'd be hitting the dance floor. Completing the look with a clean makeup 'cause you didn't want mascara and foundation dripping down your face later. 

The night was still young when you arrived at Seb's. People were already dancing, others just chilling in their own booths. And your people were easy to spot because they had a blue haired Mark. 

"Y/N! Finally!! God what took you so long?!" Haechan's drunken noisy ass clinged onto you for dear life. Half dragging you towards their booth while you try to carry a fourth of his weight. 

Renjun gives you a shot of vodka, "Presenting, the newly reformed woman of the year! Y/N! A round of applause everyone!" He was even raising his own shot glass before drinking it, bottoms up. And every single one of them followed. 

Renjun and Haechan were your best friends since high school. You took a different course in college, hence their new friends. Mark, Jaemin, and Jeno. They all took the same course and just clicked. You hangout with them but not as often as they do with each other. But it wasn't a problem. You have your own circle as well where Renjun and Haechan can join too from time to time. 

You sat next to Mark then started teasing him with the blue hair. "Last time I saw you, you were blonde!" 

"Well you don't see me often! You should have seen it in green!" 

The drinks were overflowing, your company taking shots after shots of whatever was offered on the table. Renjun's at another booth, mingling with... you don't know who. You, Haechan, Mark, and Jaemin were on the dancefloor dancing the night away. And Jeno offered to stay in your booth— Jeno! Right! You should probably accompany the guy. Seize the opportunity to get closer with him because he's very much quiet. The guy basically just smiles at everything anyone says. 

You left the dancefloor to go to your booth where Jeno is, but saw only Renjun and another person making out on the couch. Jeno was nowhere in sight. 

You decided not to bother the two and tried to find Jeno in the crowd. 

Hmm... black hair, undercut, tall, and what was he wearing again? Ah! Leather jacket and a white shirt underneath. 

Yet Jeno was nowhere to be seen inside. So you decided to expand the search. Actually, you have a choice to just stay put in your booth. Jeno's a big boy, he knows how to find his way back. But maybe it's the alcohol in your system that pushed you to find the lost pup. 

Luckily for you, the lost pup was just outside the backdoor, in an alley. A cigarette in between two fingers. 

"There you are!" You pushed with your body to fully open the heavy backdoor. "I've been looking for you!" 

And like a criminal caught in the act, he threw away the cigarette. Stepping on it to fully extinguish the stick. "You were?" 

"Why'd you stop? Afraid I'll snitch you? Hmm?" You teased. Your friends didn't know Jeno smoked. It's just that one time, after a party, you caught him taking a hit. And he begged you not to tell the nosy bunch. That was the last time you had a five-sentence conversation with him. 

"You can smoke though. I don't really mind." You gestured for him to continue. 

"Is this a test?" He joked. His face morphed into showing that famous eye smile of his. It was pure contrast to his black leather jacket and ripped jeans. His fit screamed violence while his face whispered kindness. It was utter confusion on your part. 

"Oh yes, definitely. Take that hit and I'll tell Haechan about it." He laughed at your retort. "You'll never hear the end of it, Mr. Lee." You snickered. 

"What a snitch." He narrowed his eyes on you yet still keeping that smile on his face. Then proceeding to put another cigarette in between his lips. "You don't mind, do you?" He asks. 

"No, I don't," you said while kicking a few small rocks around your feet. "I do mind getting second hand lung disease though," You teased and he acted offended at that. Even putting his hand on his chest. 

"I'm feeling very guilty right now," he said. Slack-jawed. 

You elbowed his side, "I'm kidding! Go on. I don't mind at all." The two of you shared a laugh before he continued to light the one in his mouth. 

It was the first time again after a few months that Jeno Lee laughed with you. The first being the one when you caught him smoking in Haechan's garden. 

"Jeno Lee," you called. He immediately turned to you, putting the cigarette in between his fingers. 

Actually, you didn't have anything to say. You just tested out how his name rolled out of your mouth. And honestly? You liked it. 

Jeno Lee... maybe it's the surname. 

What if it's Haechan who is also a Lee? Heachan Lee... Mark Lee? 

Nope. It's not in the surname. It's the whole 'Jeno Lee'. 

Jeno Lee. 

"Y/N?" Jeno nudges you. And you realized that you've just recited his whole ass name three times in your head. Now you have to say something because you've just called out Jeno Lee's name— aand there it is again. 

"Oh! Nothing. I was just thinking about what smoking feels like..." You made it up. Of course, why would you say you spaced out because you liked his name? 

He hummed. And then brought the cigarette in between his fingers near you. "Wanna try?" 

He had that look on his face that was very much enticing to try out whatever it is he asks you to do. 

But the thing is... you actually want to try it out. 

Ohh, Haechan's going to scold you for this. 

You nodded and hesitantly put the death stick in between your lips. And not even a complete inhale, you coughed and coughed and you felt like it would never end. Jeno Lee—that devil in disguise—was just laughing at you coughing out batches of translucent smoke. 

"I'm never gonna put that hideous thing in my mouth again," you said in finality while you were coughing and he was laughing. 

And that was the start of you hanging out with Jeno Lee every free time. Odd that despite the differences of your courses, you almost had the same schedule of vacancies as him. Sometimes, Mark and Jaemin join you both but more often than not, it was only you and Jeno. And his small pack of unlit cig. 

It was your little secret with Jeno. Just like how you keep Haechan's big fat crush on this guy from lit class 101, and Renjun making out with the TA from his summer class. Obviously these secrets outdo Jeno's but... still, secrets are secrets. And you like keeping them. 

Your hangouts are mostly just Jeno smoking while you either do your plates or read. You don't actually mind the second hand smoke, you just feel like you should be there whenever he takes out the cig. When Jaemin is around and Jeno can't smoke, he just helps you study. 

Today, he's doing both. 

A set of flashcards in hand and an unlit stick in between his fingers, Jeno decided to help you study because he noticed the dark circles under your eyes. 

"Are they that noticeable?" You panicked. You've already covered them with concealer and a full coverage foundation but he still saw them! Maybe you should change makeup brands... 

"Not really, I just have keen eyes." 

You rolled your eyes at him. "Yeah, sure. You can't even read that signage anymore. Just go get glasses, Mr. Lee." You pointed to the 'do not enter' signage that was just a few meters away from you. 

"Lucky you I'm wearing contacts today." It made you look into his eyes to see the brown colored contacts he usually wears when he's the designated driver... 

and there were.. shivers? 

You just made a face and started clearing up the table you both were occupying. The exam you were studying for will start in a few, and Jeno staring at you with eyes smiling was either motivation or distraction. You just... weren't sure. Maybe next time you should be asking Renjun to quiz you. 

"Oh we're done?" Jeno asked. It was the simplest question, yet it took you five good seconds to answer. 

"Yep." You were sure you had a panic stricken face. It was the first time you felt flushed in front of this guy. THIS guy! 

You saw how his face turned from happy to confused. And he just looked like a lost puppy again. 

"Professor Randall doesn't accept late people during exams. I wouldn't want to waste my hard worked eye bags right?" You tried to crack a joke to hide the nervousness in you. 

Nervous? Because of THIS guy? Nah, it's just the exams. Yeah it is. Yeah... it is. 

"I'm taking these. Stop ruining your lungs!" you grabbed the easiest thing to get just to cover up the fact that your face was actually heating up and turning red, it was his box of cigarettes. 

And then you left Jeno with his cigarettes in hand, exactly 60 minutes and 21 seconds before your supposed exam. 

Running late you say?

--- 

There was no point in shushing Haechan. He was unapologetically noisy. Sometimes you'd think it's his sole purpose in life. 

"I call dibs on shotgun!" He exclaimed and then proceeded to chant "Shotgun. Shotgun. Shotgun. Shotgun." 

"Designated driver gets to decide who's shotgun. Right, Jeno? I'll pay for your food tonight, my friend." Renjun puts an arm around Jeno's shoulders.  

Next thing you knew, you were sandwiched between Renjun and Haechan who were endlessly bickering. Jaemin was right next to the car door, remaining unbothered. And the shotgun seat? Taken by a black haired Mark. 

Just how is his hair still growing? 

Anyway, Mark was the one who knew the location, earning him the spot. 

"But I have waze!" Haechan reasoned, but you all knew nothing's changing Jeno Lee's mind. 

In all honesty, you were kind of... bummed? You liked shotgun. Jeno knew that. As he's not a heavy drinker, he always presents himself as the designated driver. And you yourself do not like getting wasted so much, you'd blackout. So whenever you guys went home after clubbing, you were always at the right hand. Well, it's not like he's got a choice when everyone except you was drunk dead. 

But you deemed it not big of a deal. 

After all, you've been trying to limit your interactions with Jeno. 

You wonder if he notices it though?

As expected, Haechan was the life of the party. He's basically friends with everyone. Even the super seniors Johnny and Yuta are friends with him. Those three clashing would make one hell of a night. 

Tonight's party was at Taeyong Lee's house. Only Mark knows the location because he's been there one too many times. Taeyong helps him out with things you couldn't understand... anyway! Johnny is here too. You're already sure tonight's gonna be a blast. 

And you're not shotgun (though that depends). 

You can get wild! 

---- 

At 2 AM, your vision was spinning. 

Drunkenness and sleep was getting you. And it was your interaction with Jaemin that got Jeno standing from his seat. 

You and Jaemin were talking... with indistinct noises. In Jeno's ears, it was like the Sims talking. It got weirder when Hendery from another college joined the conversation. Suddenly, the three of you were like speaking your own foreign language! 

"Oh! It's Jenolee!" You exclaimed, pointing at his face when he went to where you were. 

"Jenononono we don't talk about Jenoooo!" Jaemin was singin in the tune of that one Disney song. 

"Riiight, I think we should go," Jeno calmly said to the both of you and Jaemin who are basically under his supervision. But the latter turns around and clings on a junior he knows. 

"Jisungieee, my Jisungieee~" 

and that's one less responsibility for Jeno, he thinks. Jisung is Jaemin's younger cousin and they are quite close. And whenever Jaemin clings to him drunk, that's gonna last for the rest of the night. 

"Okay... you, woman. We gotta go." He talked to you like you were still on the right mind. Well sike, you're not! 

Because if you were, you wouldn't be clinging onto Jeno like a hungry koala. 

And in Jeno's mind, he was thanking the heavens he didn't skip any gym day. He carried you like a rice sack, but you weren't actually heavy. It's just that you were trying to— 

"We gotta go. She's out," He told Renjun when he met him out on the lawn. Mark and Haechan were there as well, they were playing some game with Johnny and the others. Jeno just hit three birds with one, much to his relief. 

"Go bring her home, we can manage!" Haechan was the one to answer, he seemed like he was still enjoying himself. 

Jeno looks at Renjun and Mark who were also still laughing from whatever they were doing, they just nodded at him before redirecting their attention to their game.

So Jeno leaves 14 minutes past two. With a sober mind, and a completely drunk girl. 

---

You woke up with your body blanketed by a musky black leather jacket, in a parked car, seatbelt still on. The window on your side was open. 

And the guy outside the car, seated on the side of the hood, was Jeno. A cigarette between his lips as usual, and the cold air brushing his hair away from his eyes. 

At some point, you just wanted to stay there and stare as he blew out white smoke. But you shouldn't, you knew you shouldn't. 

Yet you still did. 

Just 45 seconds. 45 seconds will do. 

In the 43rd second, Jeno tilts his head and looks at you. Dammit. 

Panic flowed through your veins, pushing blood up to your face. So you yawn in an exaggerated way, covering your face in the process, and Jeno laughs. 

"You're awake, your grace." He throws away the cig and crushes it with his vans. 

You chuckled at his greeting and leaned on the window sill, your chin over your arms. "Indeed, my lord. Although I feel like I am still dreaming. Are you sure you aren't an angel?" You imitated an English accent to play the part. 

You've been obsessed with this certain series on Netflix nowadays and have been doing short skits with your other friends using the accent. You are actually surprised to hear Jeno doing it. They didn't find your English accent amusing, Haechan said. 

Maybe that was only Haechan's opinion. 

Jeno chuckles and shakes his head and you laugh. He just can't take a compliment. 

"Where are the others?" You asked. The backseat was empty and you were seated at the shotgun. The last thing you remember was you taking a swig of a drink concocted by Mark. It was... it should explain how you ended up here. 

You think you should really stop taking drinks made by Mark... like, seriously.

Because every time you do, the world around you spins like a ferris wheel. 

"They said they could handle themselves, and that I should take you home," he says. 

"but we're not home..." 

"Last time we brought you home wasted, you got grounded for a week... your grace," he snickered. "And besides, you told me you didn't want to go home yet." 

"I did?" And he nodded. "Okay... but did I... say anything more...?" 

"You did." He answered. 

You waited for him to continue talking but he just put the stick in between his lips, leaving it unlit. 

"...and?" You raised a brow. You were expecting he'd tell you what you apparently said before you went out. 

Jeno just shrugged. 

"Huh?" You tapped the car door from the outside. "Hey. Mister. Why aren't you talking?" 

And still, he just shrugged. So you threw his leather jacket at him but he caught it while laughing. 

"I'm kidding! You immediately fell asleep." The unlit cig was just stuck in between his teeth. 

Relief washed over you. You were worried you might've said something about trying to avoid him just because... 

"Why aren't you lighting that?" You gestured to the cig between his teeth. 

"I just... don't want to." 

The silence between you highlighted the birds chirping and the soft blowing wind. The skies were slowly turning bright with the first few moments of sunrise. 

"Jeno Lee..." You let his name roll out from your tongue like the first time. And he looked at you just like then. 

"Y/N," he imitated the way you spoke. 

The two of you just looked at each other with the intent of testing who will laugh first. 

Or maybe that's what he thought. 

You were just staring at him as the emerging sun illuminates the side of his face. You would've taken a photo if your phone wasn't dead. 

As cliché as it was, you could look at his face forever. 

So you chose to look away. 

"Let's go home, my mother's gonna kill me." 

"Yeah.." Jeno squints. Because of the sunlight or not? You aren't sure. "Let's get you home."

You've figured that the best course of action in dealing with this fiasco inside your head (or maybe your heart) is to avoid Jeno Lee at all cost. Of course, your almost identical vacancy schedule with him wasn't of any help, but who cares if you just lie your way out of it? 

So for the remaining days before summer break, you've given a ton of excuses just to not see Jeno. The worst part? You weren't sure why you were doing this. 

It's just that... something shifted that day. Beneath the blossom tree, right in Jeno's eyes. 

And then the sunrise. 

And the leather jacket. 

And the drive home. 

I should know better than this, you thought. I've been through this. 

You've liked people in the past, loved even. 

The big jar of paper cranes in your room was proof of this, and it's been 2 months since you stopped. Certain you were done with the boy. 

You are sure you are completely over the guy, but how did you know you loved him then? 

How did you— 

"Y/N." A voice cuts through your thoughts. 

Familiar. 

"Jaehyun," Ah. "I didn't see you there..." 

It's been exactly 6 months 13 days and... you lost track of the time from when you last saw him. 

You were just walking out the campus, making your way to a café nearby to study (and to avoid places you and Jeno always went to). And here you were, face to face once again with somebody you used to know so well. 

Jung Jaehyun. 

Ironic how you were just thinking about how you're moved on, and then... life. 

"How have you been?" He initiates the conversation. 

"Good." 

... 

Awkward. 

"Uh.. I was.. about to get coffee, wanna come?" You asked out of politeness. 

Jung Jaehyun looked at you like he was shocked you even offered. He'd probably decline anyway. 

"I mean, if you don't want to—" 

"I guess coffee won't hurt." Oh. 

And then the next thing was you seated in front of your ex, awkwardly sipping coffee. Like it happened for the first time. 

"You look good," you started. It was sincere, he actually looked fine. He had his hair parted in a different way, and his built has improved in comparison to before. 

He looked well. You hoped you were the same in his eyes, afterall you believe yourself well and happy now. 

"You too, y/n," he answered. 

In your mind was a series of memories of you and Jaehyun, spending two springs in each other's company. How you felt happy and content. 

And how the both of you slowly broke each other into millions of tiny pieces. 

You were the one who broke up with him. It happened when you had a lot of love to give while he had a space too little to fill. Incompatible, you were. 

So you decided to cut the thread. It was for the best. Because you knew that if you stayed any longer, it would take everything for you to heal. 

"Y/N..." he called and you looked him in the eye. "This might be a little too late but.." He licked his lips. A mannerism whenever he's nervous. "You know I loved you right?" 

It was like a punch in the gut, sucking out all the air in your lungs. Even your voice was gone and your tongue dry. 

"I just thought I didn't tell you enough." He'd look at anything except your eyes. "I loved you." 

"Jaehyun..." 

"And I'm sorry. I could've done so much more, I—" 

"Jaehyun, stop." You've finally found your voice and he finally looked you in the eye. All you saw was pain and somehow, it felt like torture. 

But you're done loving this man. Saying that in your head suddenly puts you at ease. 

"You know how I felt about you, Jae.." You lightly held his hand that was on top of the table and gave him a small yet genuine smile. "It hurt. But all is done, and I'm okay now." 

His eyes showed different hues of brown as the ray of setting sun hit them. There's no denying the beauty in them, but all you had in mind were those brown contact lenses and a mole near the eye. 

A smile formed on your lips at that thought but you tried to suppress it. 

"In fact, I'm very... content." You gave his hand a light squeeze. "We're good, Jae." 

Soon, the black leather jacket and the cigarette between one's lips flooded your mind. This time, the smile was unconcealable. 

"..We're good." 

One last squeeze 

and then you let go of Jung Jaehyun's hand. 

--- 

Certainty hit you like a truck. 

You liked Jeno Lee. You just realized that you've been liking him for quite a while yet this made you more determined to avoid the guy. 

In the short time of two months where you hung out with Jeno, you've formed a bond that you didn't want to break nor to risk breaking. He is your friends' friend who also became your close friend in the long run. If you took the risk and tried it out, will you be able to handle the consequences? 

The answer was so simple yet so complicated. So, your personal mission to avoid Jeno Lee continued. 

But apparently, you've miscalculated things because in front of your door was Renjun and Haechan, both looking like parents who are ready for severe scolding. 

"You little liar..." 

"Sneaky little bitch..." 

They both had their eyes narrowed at you despite the fact that you didn't know what you did. The last time you saw these two was when they hung out with you the day after the last party. The three of you nursing hangovers, lounging around your room. 

"Huh?" You were confused as to what these two were up to. Haechan began to tap his foot, crossed arms. And Renjun began shaking his head like he was so disappointed. 

"You know I'd rather you tell me what I did than this cryptic head-shaking and foot-tapping." 

"You know what you di—" 

"So you're back with that guy now?" Haechan cuts Renjun's speech. The latter hits him hard on the chest. 

"Ouch!" 

"What are you talking about?" Who's back with who? 

"A little birdy told us you were spotted with Jung Jaehyun in a café near campus." Renjun walked into your house while talking, and then Haechan followed in so you got to close the door. 

This information made you raise a brow. 

"And holding hands?? What's the point of me throwing out your love letters back then?" Haechan added, casually lounging on your parents' couch. 

They continued rambling about how you used to cry for Jaehyun and that they didn't want that to happen again. They were loud, too loud. And you had to defend yourself, because after all, it wasn't the truth. 

"Okay stop." You spoke with a firm voice and that made them look at you. 

"First of all, I'm not back with the guy." A pause. "We're done and we're good. I merely offered him coffee and he accepted." You defended. 

But the two rascals were just looking at you sketchily. So you continued. Telling in full detail what really happened, that he told you he loved you. Why you held his hand. What happened after. And that it was your full and final closure. 

"So... you aren't back with him?" Haechan asked once again and it made you groan out of frustration. 

"Ugh no! I'm not that much of a fool!" 

"Oh poor little birdy..." You heard Renjun whisper. 

"Who's that little birdy of yours anyway?" You asked in an irritated tone. 

"Lee Jeno." Haechan—who apparently found his way to the kitchen, eating your leftover chips—casually said. 

The name took five full seconds to register in your brain. Lee Jeno. 

Jeno Lee. 

Oh gods.

Remember when you used to avoid all the places you went to with Jeno? Well now you're doing the exact opposite of that. You even searched through all of the smoking areas around campus, hoping you'll spot him right there having his daily dose of nicotine. 

But Jeno Lee was nowhere to be found. 

You've asked Jaemin and Mark... Haechan and Renjun.. even that guy in his physics class that he'd mentioned to you once. All their answers varied everyday so you didn't know where to start. 

Jaemin says he's probably in the gym. So you went there, but apparently he was done with his session. Mark didn't have any idea on his whereabouts. Haech and Renjun both just asked you why and teased you non-stop (it didn't help at all!). 

Now it's been forty-seven days since you last saw even a smoke out of Jeno Lee's lips. And slowly, you've been filling up a small jar with paper stars. It eventually became a calming activity for you. 

You still haven't stopped looking for Jeno. Everyday was a different place of where he could be. You figured he'll eventually pop up like he used to. 

Today you returned to the picnic table under the shade of the blossom tree. 

While walking towards it, you noticed that it was occupied. A black piece of clothing on the table, and a man in white shirt and tattered jeans... and blonde hair? 

Is this finally him? 

"Jeno?" You called and he easily confirmed by turning his head to face you. 

You never thought you'd go slack jawed for a man but this... this was an exemption. 

He had his hair up and styled. His physique was exceptional as before. A cig slowly burning between his lips. But his face, it wasn't the same as the ones that greeted you every vacant time. It was stoic. A hundred thousand times different from his famous smiling eyes. 

"Hey." He spoke. 

"Hey.." 

You walked closer, scared that taking a step nearer would chase him away. You silently prayed to the gods for him to stay. 

But guess your prayers didn't reach the heavens. 

Throwing the cig away, he gathered the other things he had on the table and wore his leather jacket, preparing to leave. 

You weren't letting this chance go. 

"Jeno, stop." But he didn't. "Please." This time you pleaded, trying to convince yourself you weren't gonna cry. 

"You're avoiding me." You added. 

He scoffed before turning to you. "Well what can I say? I learned from the best." His words reeked sarcasm but you still saw through the pain in his eyes. You knew damn well he was talking about you. 

"I'm sorry. Let's talk. Please?" Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. 

"I don't want any misunderstanding, y/n. Please." He sounded defeated. "Just... be happy." Then he turns away. 

"It's not wha—" You tried to explain but the distance between you and him took your voice away. 

It's not what you think, Jeno.. 

-- 

Day 71 from when you first realized your feelings for Jeno. Exactly twenty-four days since he turned his back on you underneath the blossom tree. 

You have filled two small jars with small paper stars to the brim and have started filling up the third. 

Everything's back to normal. And by normal, it meant the time before you found Jeno behind the club hiding his vice. 

For consolation, Jeno never avoided you again. He was always there, present during night outs, still the designated driver, still the one who remains sober. You thought that after your last encounter, he'd never want to see you again but here he is. Always in your presence without acknowledging you. 

You felt that it was better if he had avoided you completely rather than seeing him everyday, laughing at Haechan's jokes but never meeting your eyes. 

But then again, you like Jeno Lee. Seeing him physically is a hundred times better than just thinking about him 24/7 (while in fact you do that as well). Also, why did he have to be so hot in his blonde hair?! Your honor, this is torture. 

He'd talk to you... at times. Mostly about passing food. Or a drink... It was very civil. Like you and him did not have a shared short lifetime of nicotine and quizzes.

Day 79, you passed by him in the hallway. You waved hi, he gave you a smile, then walked away. 

Day 86. Vacant time before a major exam, you were reviewing on the picnic table under the blossom tree. You weren't gonna lie, you were expecting him to be there to help you. But what is to expect if there were no unwritten promises? 

By the 91st day, your third jar has been filled halfway. 

Haechan had already scolded you for using too much paper. Renjun, on the other hand, knows what the meaning of this habit of yours is. 

"That's what you call self soothing, Donghyuck. You don't know that because you always had your mommy to soothe you." 

"Hey you can't use mama's boy card on me when in fact my mom likes you more than me!" 

"Damn right she does! I'm like the most perfectest son she could have!" 

Haechan scoffs and mumbles "most" and "perfectest" under his breath. You laughed at the use of words as well. 

The two rascals are in your bedroom again, saying they are your pretty little angels who will apparently comfort you after you barely passed that one major exam. 

Guess their bantering became your comfort afterall. 

"Don't you two have anything better to do?" You asked in the middle of your star folding. 

Renjun crossed his arms. "Actually, we're supposed to be at a party right now. But you should ask Haechan why..." he had his eyes squinted at the latter. And Haechan was avoiding eye contact, playing with the stars you have already folded. 

You squint your eyes as well. "What is it, Haech?" 

"Yeah, Donghyuck, tell her why we won't go to Kun ge's house party..." Renjun added, emphasizing Haechan's real name like it had something to do with it. 

"Kun? Like... that cute senior? You were invited and you're not coming??" 

"I kissed his brother okay? I have to save face!" Your jaw dropped at his confession. 

"The guy from lit?" You asked. 

"The guy from lit!" Renjun exclaimed. 

You dramatically threw your half folded origami and stood up with conviction. Going straight to your closet, you grabbed a party dress. 

"What are you doing?" Haechan's voice was filled with fear and Renjun was laughing so loud, even holding his stomach. 

There are so many things you live for. Embarrassing any of your two friends was one of them. 

"We're going to the party!" 

Pre-game at Renjun's before driving to the party, surely there's only one of you who isn't very willing to come. But Haechan had no choice, he'd be missing out on a night of his life if he didn't. When you arrived, the party was at its peak. People were drunk, bodies clung to one another... you even saw Kun taking out what looks like another bottle of Cuervo. It would've been fun to get sloshed but you presented to be the designated driver of the night since you are the plus one. 

"I'm gonna get drinks!" Renjun half yelled over the loud music before leaving your side. 

"And I'm gonna puke!" Haechan pulled away from you but you didn't let him go. You know he's just gonna escape from you. 

"Not on my watch!" You laughed and searched through the area where Kun's brother could be. And just at the right moment, you spotted him near the fireplace. They were playing what seemed like a game of spin the bottle because they were in a messy circle. 

"There he is." You mumbled proudly, much to Haechan's chagrin. 

You pulled Haechan towards the group. Some of the players were already leaving (possibly to party more outside), so you took their seats. Not realizing that there was a still-blond-Jeno Lee right in front of the seat you've just taken. And when your gazes aligned, his was already leaving yours. 

So you did the same and just pulled Haechan down to sit beside you. 

Apparently they were playing truth or dare. Just a moment ago, Jisung (who you just noticed) actually dared to drink two small shots of what seemed to be vinegar. 

As the night progressed, the wilder each dare became. Two players were already dared to do body shots, others had to do lap dances. Jeno had to be on the receiving end (which really pissed you off, by the way). Haechan, on your side, was shaking his foot. 

"Next dare!" Chenle started picking out a piece of paper from a fish bowl. "Liplocking for five seconds!" And the crowd roared. Because knowing these people, five seconds will probably turn to ten. Fifteen even. 

"I'm gonna pass out." Haechan whispers in your ear when the tip of the bottle pointed to him. On the other end of the bottle was Kun's brother. The lit 101 guy. You didn't know the name. 

"You've been blessed by the gods!" A cheer from you got the other people cheering as well. Ten seconds of simple kissing would be hot, but ten seconds of Haechan french kissing his big fat crush would be hella spicy! 

"You aren't safe, I'm telling you!" Lit 101 guy was already crawling towards Haechan since he was in fact sitting on the floor like the rest of you. Undoubtedly he ain't sober anymore, a good explanation as to why he's unashamed in doing the dare. 

Haechan had a tight grip on your arm while the other guy's face was already close to him. It was a frontrow seat of them doing edges and you weren't gonna lie, you're loving it. 

Not until you caught a glimpse of Jeno's eyes on your lips. And then on your eyes. And then back at your lips again. 

Suddenly the two people in front of you were already locking lips, yet your mind was wondering how that felt... with Jeno in mind. 

Heachan loosened his grip on your arm and it started caressing the cheeks of the other. They stopped kissing and for a hot second they whispered into each other's ears. The next thing you know, the seat beside you is vacated and then replaced by another player. People around you cheered, yet your mind was too occupied by the blonde guy in front. 

Your mission here is done. You tried to convince yourself. You should go. 

And go, you did. You excused yourself from the game, your seat immediately taken by another. Your friend is about to have the night of his life, meanwhile, the other is nowhere to be found. You had drunk a few shots from the game and you're in between tipsy and downright drunk, your friends are gonna need to find another ride home. You've fully accepted that you are indeed lightweight. But that's more fun right? 

No. 

Because why did you have to be so weak when tipsy? If it wasn't the case, a guy wouldn't be holding your wrist right now. 

"Where are you going?" Worry evident in his voice. But you wouldn't figure that out. 

"Away from your presence, my lord." You let out small drunken giggles. It was the first time again that you've used this way of speaking. 

"You're drunk." 

"And you're not?" 

"Let's get you home." 

"It isn't even past two!" 

"Come on..." 

You broke away from his grip and proceeded walking somewhere away from Jeno. But somehow he surpassed you and blocked your way. You tried to get away through the opposite but he somehow blocked it too. Now you're cornered on the wall and your mind just realized that you're in a quiet hallway upstairs. Alone together. 

"Jeno, stop." 

"Stop what?" 

"You can't do this. Stop doing this." 

"What can't I do?" He went closer. "Tell me, y/n.." and closer. "What am I not permitted to do?" 

His eyes were on yours. Burning intensely. Piercing through your skin; like gravity pulling you in. The alcohol in your system seemed to be already flushed out by the browns and blacks of his eyes and by the pinks and reds of his lips. This is torture, your honor. 

You looked away. And then threw a punch on his chest. Then another. And another, and another, and another. And he was just letting you do so. 

"You cannot avoid me like that and then return like nothing happened at all!" a punch. 

"You cannot leave me like that! Like I meant nothing— like we meant nothing!" Another. 

"You just had to listen! But you chose not to, Jeno Lee! You chose to walk away—" a kiss. 

Jeno Lee's lips were suddenly on yours. Soft. Gentle. It was...new. A movement was all it took for you to know it was true. 

It was happening. Jeno fucking Lee is kissing you as if he didn't tell you to be happy with another guy. You responded back, lips moving against another. His arm snaked around your waist and pulled you closer to him. Your body molded into his, arched towards his stomach. Your hands found their way to his hair and raked through it, feeling how soft it was even though you figured it went through a cruel bleaching process. And in between your kisses, you heard him groan. 

You heard and felt his groan and it sent shivers down your spine. If he wasn't holding your waist, you probably were on your knees. In just a moment of weakness, his tongue found its way in. 

You felt like floating. You've had a lot of good hookups, but no one ever kissed you the way this boy did. You never want to stop. You just want to have his lips on yours forever. 

But you had to break away to breathe. 

The both of you panted to catch your breaths. His forehead was on yours and his gaze still on your lips. 

You couldn't explain but he looked...confused and angry and desperate all at the same time. 

"Fuck..." He whispered, still catching his breath. 

"Why..." you started, trying to catch your own breath. "...why'd you do that?" 

He turned his head away from you, his arms still caging you in. Until he let them down, whispering more curses under his breath. 

"Jeno—" 

He walked away too fast but you were suddenly in the right mind to catch up. He headed towards the garden while you were just behind him, people were bumping into you so you had to double time when the amount of drunk humans subsided. 

"Lee Jeno, stop walking away from me!" 

Yet he didn't stop, even getting in his car. But you were fast enough to enter the passenger's seat. 

"You're not getting away this time." You said while buckling the seatbelt. He was just looking at you, confusion and anger(?) in his eyes. 

"You brought your own car." He pointed out. 

"I'm too drunk to drive. Now why did you kiss me?" 

"I'm too drunk to answer your question." He revved the engine. 

"And yet you're starting your car!" 

"I can drive." 

"Then you can answer my question too." 

Yet you received no more answers. 

Jeno just buckled his own seat belt then started driving. Around the block, and then the village gates. Silence ensued between the two of you, no one dared to talk with the height of emotions the both of you had. 

He stopped the car near a gasoline station's convenience store, went out of the car and into the store, leaving you still holding on to the buckled seat belt as if he will try to drop you off anytime soon. 

He returned with two cans of warm coffee on hand. 

"What..." 

"You want us to talk right?"  

"Well yeah—" 

"I'm not doing that while we're not completely sober." He flicked the can open then gave it to you. Doing the same for his can. 

You hesitated to drink but you figured that it wasn't so you to be doing serious talks with an alcohol cloudy mind. 

So in a parked car at a gasoline station, two people were sitting in silence. Sipping their coffee, waiting to be sober enough to discuss actualities and emotional dilemmas. 

"Are you not going to smoke?" You asked, wondering why he hasn't taken out a stick like he always did when he was with you. 

"Besides the fact that we're in a gasoline station, I'm actually trying to stop smoking..." 

"And why is that?" Looking back, you realized that the last time you saw a glimpse of smoke out of his mouth was when you finally found him after days of searching. 

"Someone said... I should stop ruining my lungs." You turned to him and saw the usual glow of his eyes. It was the eyes that you used to know, you're glad to see them again. 

"Well..." You swallowed. "That someone influenced you well then." Jealousy drips down the tone of your voice. You had told him more than once to quit the vice yet he continued to do so. This someone probably holds a special place in his life for him to follow so easily. It made you question, had you ever held a place in his life? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe you had a small stool reserved in his life full of grand dining chairs. 

"Yeah.." 

"And your hair?" 

"Mark did it. It sucks I know..." He chuckled while ruffling his hair. 

"No, it looks nice! Like really nice." It's so nice that every girl turns their heads when you're around and I'm annoyed every freaking time. 

"It does?" He looked at you in wonder if you were really telling the truth. Instead of answering, you were caught in a trance with how he looked so...so... 

Deja vu. 

Your mind suddenly showed you an unfamiliar memory of you in this exact same car with your hands cradling the face of a black-haired Jeno. 

"What are you doing, miss drunken gir—" 

"Holy shit!" You blurted out. 

"What, what happened?" Jeno also panicked. 

"Did I... did I ever kiss you before?" 

Jeno blinked. 

You blinked. 

Once, twice, thrice... 

"Tell me... what did I do that night? After Lee Taeyong's party?" 

You saw his adam's apple bob up and down, his jaw clenched as well and he looked away from you. 

"So... you just remembered." 

"Tell me what I did!" You demanded while hitting his arms in the process. 

"Okay, okay..." He grabbed your hands that were still hitting him and held onto them to stop you from further physical (but light) abuse. 

"That night, you were so drunk that you kept clinging onto my neck. And you... you..." 

"What?" 

"Let's just say that you tried leaving marks." He scratched his nape in embarrassment. "So I had to carry you like a sack. And I couldn't bring you home because I wouldn't want to be the reason you are grounded. So I brought you somewhere you could get sober. You were sleeping, I was sure of it. But suddenly you were awake and... kissed me and things were escalating quickly and then boom... in dreamland you went." 

"I fell asleep while making out with you?!" 

"Kind...of?" 

"What the fuck is wrong with me, seriously?" 

The self loathing was so present in the moment. How could you ever fall asleep while kissing a Jeno Lee! 

"You also said something that time..." 

You looked at him and he was still avoiding your eyes like it was him who did something embarrassing. 

[From here on out, all italicized words will be Jeno's side of the story starting from Taeyong's party]

"I think.... I think..." A hiccup escaped your lips. "I think I like you."  

Jeno looked at you to see if you were awake again but you had your eyes closed already. Was it a dream of yours? Do you think the kiss was just a dream? Were you aware that you were saying these things to him? 

They say drunk words are sober thoughts. Jeno used to believe that. But right now, your drunk words were too much of a fantasy for him. How could you say that so easily when he himself couldn't find the courage to do so for months? 

When you woke up (once again) that day, fully sober. He had expected you wouldn't remember anything in an instant. So he decided to leave the drama for tomorrow. You and him had all the time in the world to talk about it so why rush? 

He brought you home, came back to Taeyong's house to fetch the others, went home himself, and rested. He had to gather up all of his strength to face you the next day. For sure at that time, you already remember. 

But on the next day, you weren't there at the picnic table under the blossom tree. He tried asking your other friends, they all said you were busy. He tried again on the next day but it was still the same. 

Days passed. Weeks. He couldn't get a hold of you. His calls to you were always declined. If not declined, it reached voicemail. His texts left with no replies. His chats left unread. 

Were you avoiding him? But why? 

He assumingly answered the 'why' when he saw you in that cafe with the guy you told him stories about. 'Jaehyun' was it? Of course, you weren't the type to ghost a friend. You always had a valid reason for everything. 

Jeno then decides to spend the days trying to forget that night. Suppressing his own feelings by lifting weights and avoiding even a bit of your shadow. 

He heard from people that you were looking for him and for a moment, he almost succumbed to the thought of it. But he believed he shouldn't see you. Not when you were probably back with the guy you used to like and he was there with existing nicotine-originated feelings for you. 

He chose to be kind to himself. Because that's what he should do right? 

Not until one day when he chose to relive his moments with you and you found him. 

Why...why did you look so sad? 

He knew he had to go right away. He couldn't promise he could keep his arms to himself. 

And go he did. 

And later on realizing that it was a dumb decision because seeing your eyes again brought life into his system. Like they were the fuel to his fire. 

Jeno decided he won't avoid you the way he did ever again. No scratch that— Jeno knows he couldn't avoid you ever again after seeing you like that. He had to make sure you were always okay. But he didn't know how to approach you. 

So he just became present everywhere you went. Like he used to be. Except he was just there and you were out of his reach and the nicotine withdrawal has been very tough that he wanted to tell you about it but he just...can't. 

The next thing he knew, he was kissing you in a silent hallway. His arms snaked around your waist while your hands raked through his hair. It was like the first time, except this was better. So much better. 

But the taste of the mixed vodka from your lips brought him back to his cloudy senses. 

You were drunk. Not 'drunk' drunk like before but you weren't sober. And he has seen this all before, he didn't like what happened next. 

Besides, you didn't deserve intimacy initiated by alcohol and lack of nicotine. 

So, he tried to run away like every dumb and coward person would do. 

Because why would he tell you 

"I like you. And you deserve to know that... at least while I'm in the right state of mind." Jeno finally confessed. 

You were once again slack-jawed from everything he told you. 

"But if you actually did get back with him.. then just brush it off. It's okay, I promise." He finally looked into your eyes like he was trying to prove that he would be okay. Like he hadn't just told you how your stupid decisions in life caused yourself unnecessary torture. 

And what? He still thinks you're back with Jeong Jaehyun? 

With no thoughts, head empty, you unbuckle your seatbelt and reach for his face and kiss his lips. 

It was the sweetest, the realest, and the softest kiss you ever had. 

And literally, it's your first time kissing him with a sober mind. 

At exactly 3 months, 2 days, and 3 hours from the day you first realized that you liked this boy, you finally get to stop folding those paper stars. 

No more silly games of hide and seek. No more dumb decisions. 

The taste of coffee lingered on your lips when you pulled away and it made you laugh. 

"Funny, we both taste like coffee.." You bit your lip to suppress a smile. 

"Then maybe caffeine will be my new addiction." He said before pulling you in once again, savoring your lips. 

This time with no more inhibitions.

#nct fanfic #NCT #nct scenarios #jeno imagines #jeno x you #nct jeno #nct x reader #00 line #angst #nct angst #nct drabbles #nct fluff #jeno #nct jeno x reader #nct dream #nct dream drabbles #lee jeno #jeno lee #jeno fluff #jeno angst #nct dream angst #nct dream fanfic #jeno fanfic #jeno drabble #nct college au

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; MIDNIGHTS by Taylor Swift (Part III)

HITS DIFFERENT

"You made a mess of me."

"They say that if it's right, you know."

"Each bar plays our song."

"Nothing has ever felt so wrong."

"Love is a lie."

"It hits different this time."

"Moving on was always easy for me to do."

"It hits different 'cause it's you."

"Rip the band-aid off."

"Skip town likе an asshole outlaw."

"Freedom felt like summеr then on the coast."

"The sun burns my heart and the sand hurts my feelings."

"I never don't cry at the bar."

"My sadness is contagious."

"I slur your name 'til someone puts me in a car."

"I stopped receiving invitations."

"I find the artifacts, cried over a hat, cursed the space that I needed."

"I trace the evidence."

"Make it make some sense."

"Why the wound is still bleeding?"

"You were the one that I loved."

"It's simple enough."

"This is why they shouldn't kill off the main guy."

"Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief."

"You once believed in me."

"I held you for a while."

"Bet I could still melt your world."

"I heard your key turn in the door down the hallway."

"Is that your key in the door?"

"Is it okay?"

"Is it you?"

"Have they come to take me away?"

THE GREAT WAR

"My knuckles were bruised like violets."

"Cursed you as I sleep-talked."

"Maybe it was egos swinging."

"Maybe it was her."

"Flashes of the battle come back to me in a blur."

"All that bloodshed, crimson clover."

"Sweet dream was over."

"My hand was the one you reached for all throughout the Great War."

"I vowed not to cry anymore."

"Drank my poison all alone."

"You said I have to trust more freely."

"You were playing with fire."

"Maybe it's the past that's talking."

"I justified it."

"The bombs were closer."

"I vowed not to fight anymore."

"It turned into something bigger."

"Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed."

"Soldier down on that icy ground."

"That was the night I nearly lost you."

"I really thought I'd lost you."

"We can plant a memory garden."

"Say a solemn prayer."

"There's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair."

"We will never go back."

"The worst was over."

"We're burned for better."

"I vow I will always be yours."

BIGGER THAN THE WHOLE SKY

"No words appear before me in the aftermath."

"Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness."

"It's all over now."

"You were bigger than the whole sky."

"You were more than just a short time."

"I've got a lot to pine about."

"I've got a lot to live without."

"Did some force take you bеcause I didn't pray?"

"Every single thing to come has turned into ashes."

"It's not meant to be."

"I'm never gonna meet what could've been."

PARIS

"Your ex-friend's sister met someone at a club and he kissed her."

"Turns out, it was that guy you hooked up with ages ago."

"Some wannabe Z-lister."

"All the outfits were terrible."

"Did you see the photos?"

"No, I didn't, but thanks, though."

"I'm so in love that I might stop breathing."

"No, I didn't see the news."

"We were somewhere else."

"I was taken by the view."

"Privacy sign on the door and on my page and on the whole world."

"Romance is not dead if you keep it just yours."

"Levitate above all the messes made."

"Sip quiet by my side in the shade."

"Not the kind that's thrown."

"I wanna brainwash you into loving me forever."

"I wanna transport you to somewhere the culture's clever."

"Confess my truth in swooping, sloping, cursive letters."

"Let the only flashing lights be the tower at midnight."

HIGH INFIDELITY

"I didn't know you were keeping count."

"High infidelity."

"Put on your records and regret me."

"I bent the truth too far tonight."

"Your picket fence is sharp as knives."

"Do you really wanna know where I was?"

"Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes?"

"Dragged my feet right down the aisle."

"I'd pay if you'd just know me."

"Seemed like the right thing at the time."

"You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love."

"The slowest way is never loving them enough."

"Do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?"

"It's never enough."

"You were keeping count?"

GLITCH

"We were supposed to be just friends."

"You don't live in my part of town."

"But maybe I'll see you out some weekend."

"I think there's been a glitch."

"I'm not even sorry."

"It must be counterfeit."

"I was supposed to sweat you out."

"In search of glorious happenings of happenstance on someone else's playground."

"It's been two-thousand one-hundred ninety days of our love blackout."

"Our love is blacking out."

"The system's breaking down."

"I'd go back to wanting dudes who give nothing."

"I thought we had no chance."

"That's romance."

WOULD'VE, COULD'VE, SHOULD'VE

"If you would've blinked, then I would've looked away at the first glance."

"If you tasted poison, you could've spit me out at the first chance."

"If I was some paint, did it splatter on a promising grown man?"

"If I was a child, did it matter if you got to wash your hands?"

"All I used to do was pray."

"I damn sure never would've danced with the devil at nineteen."

"The God's honest truth is that the pain was heaven."

"Now that I'm grown, I'm scared of ghosts."

"Memories feel like weapons."

"Now that I know, I wish you'd left me wondering."

"If you never touched me, I would've gone along with the righteous."

"If I never blushed, then they could've never whispered about this."

"If you never saved me from boredom, I could've gone on as I was."

"Lord, you made me feel important."

"You tried to erase us."

"You're a crisis of my faith."

"If I'd only played it safe."

"God rest my soul."

"I miss who I used to be."

"I regret you all the time."

"I can't let this go."

"I fight with you in my sleep."

"The wound won't close."

"I keep on waiting for a sign."

"If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?"

"Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts."

"Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first."

DEAR READER

"If it feels like a trap, you're already in one."

"Pick somewhere and just run."

"Burn all the files."

"Desert all your past lives."

"If you don't recognize yourself, that means you did it right."

"Never take advice from someone who's falling apart."

"Bend when you can."

"Snap when you have to."

"You don't have to answer just 'cause they asked you."

"The greatest of luxuries is your secrets."

"When you aim at the devil, make sure you don't miss."

"I prefer hiding in plain sight."

"These desperate prayers of a cursed man."

"But darling, darling, please..."

"You wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking."

I was walking to a house, not a home, all alone."

"My friends found friends who care"

"No one sees when you lose when you're playing solitaire."

"You should find another guiding light."

#rp sentence starters #rp sentence meme #rp sentence prompts #sentence starters #sentence meme #sentence prompts #lyric sentence starters #lyric starters #music starters #rp meme #rp memes #rp prompts #ask meme #*mystarters #*midnights

[gaysullengirl]

𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞, 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫. 𝐯𝐢𝐩𝐞𝐫

❝ do you get deja vu, when she's with you? ❞

- deja vu, olivia rodrigo

Isabelle wore a wine red dress that was tight fitting on top and had a short flowy skirt- which concealed her gun easily.

She ordered some water's while Emily found a table, when she walked back she noticed Viper talking to Emily.

Isabelle walked to the table "Hi, Viper" Isabelle said flirtatiously, if Isabelle was an expert in anything it was playing men just like a violin.

"You promised if we met you on your turf, you'd show us something special." Emily smiled.

"Yeah, Viper, who gets pushed and who gets pulled tonight?" Isabelle asked and his eyes widened.

"Here let me show you." He spoke, attempting to re-gain his confidence, "You see, eye contact is a very powerful gauge."

"It's why you tend to look away from someone you're attracted to, because you know instinctively what a dead giveaway it is, but your brain goes there anyway, images, fantasies."

Isabelle laughed, "Don't flatter yourself."

"The eyes don't lie, they dilate, it's a chemical response, we can't control it."

After Isabelle's eyes didn't dilate whatsoever he moved to Emily, "Come on, do it, are you scared your eyes might dilate?" he teased.

"No, Paul, I'm baffled, I cannot figure out what the unsub could have learned from you." Emily said.

"What do you mean? He took my look, my words, everything that makes me successful to the opposite sex." He defended himself.

"Really? Because that guy can get beautiful women into his apartment." Emily provoked him even more.

"I wouldn't even let you on my facebook." Isabelle  deadpans. 

Emily Smiled, "Oh you have facebook? I'll follow you."

"Thanks-" Viper cut Isabelle off.

"Hey, hey, hey! I gave him-" "Shh" Isabelle cut him off. "Why'd you interrupt me? can you not stand the attention being on someone else for a second?"

"We've been watching all the women in the club and not one of them has looked at you, so who do you really go home with, Paul?" Isabelle asked in an innocent tone.

"Or- or do you go home alone?" Emily frowned, faking sadness.

"That was really good, ladies, that was really good, don't you think I know why you're here?" he asked.

"One of my students copies my moves, and you're here to get inside my mind, don't you see? I confronted my queen bee a long time ago." He raised his voice.

"What's a queen bee?" Isabelle furrowed her brows.

"You are." He exclaimed, pointing a finger at her.

"Every student who's ever taken my class has had one in his life, and the first exercise my students have to complete is to confront their queen bee."

"It could be the girl who cheated on you, the prom date who stood you up, you find them and you squash them." Emily and Isabelle shared a look before they walked toward the club's exit.

Isabelle saw Spencer talking to a bartender, she noticed him point to the women's ear and she grabbed a piece of paper from her hair.

Isabelle was pissed to say the least, not only was he flirting on the job but he was also using the same tactic he had used with her.

"Hey Em, I have to go to the bathroom really quick." she walked into the bathroom urgently.

Isabelle silently begged herself not to cry, she knew everyone would assume she's weak if she started crying. 

Isabelle took a few deep breaths and left the bathroom, her and Emily exit the club to find Hotch, Rossi, Morgan, and Reid waiting for them.

Isabelle brushed passed Spencer, purposefully knocking her shoulder against his.

"What was that for?"

"You're fine, if it really hurts maybe you should go get your girlfriend to comfort you" Isabelle spit angrily and kept walking.

"Girlfriend?"

"Really Spencer? flirting on a case?" Isabelle turned to face him.

"You were too" he argued, Isabelle scoffed "Because that's what I was assigned to do."

"No, I could tell you actually like him, you we're actually flirting." He elaborated.

Isabelle just stared at him, 'is he being for real?' was all she could thin, "Spencer that was fake flirting."

"Really? cause it seemed real." He admitted, sounding hurt.

"God! you're such a hypocrite, are you hearing yourself? You're upset because I was 'flirting' with viper while you're giving a random bartender your number? with the same tactic you used on me might I add. Come on Spencer you have an eidetic memory and you're seriously forgetting how we met?" She shouted.

Spencer's eyes started to water, "No, but i'm still a little blurry on how we broke up,  you said you wanted to break up then the next day you're gone, I mean did I even mean anything to you?"

Isabelle didn't want to have this conversation with him—ever, but especially not in front of her new coworkers, so she turned around and started walking toward the suv.  

"Go fuck your self, Isa!" He shouted.

If anyone dared to speak to Isabelle the way Spencer was she would turn around punch them, shoot them, then bury them six feet under and never be caught, but since it was Spencer she didn't.

Isabelle just quietly got in the suv.

authors note!

thank you sm for reading!! <33

#jade’s works ⋆·˚ ༘ * #criminal minds #fanfic #fbi #fbi agent #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fandom #spencer reid series #alexa demie

[whowantslovergirl]

bad idea right?

Topper Thornton x reader (reader is female with she/her pronouns)

warnings: cursing, um just y/n being a dumb bitch tbh, this is obviously inspired by the song 😫, slightly suggestive, bold words are the lyrics, this in your pov, HOPE YOU ENJOY MY LOVERSS 🤍

outer banks masterlist

Summary: Y/n knows it bad that she keeps going to Topper but omg look at him!!!!

posted: February 28,2024

Me and Topper broke up a couple months ago. We were the golden couple and I was way better than Sarah (in my opinion) I didn’t have cold feelings toward Sarah but I didn’t think she was the best person. Sorry getting off topic but I miss Topper and I have this bad habit of going back to him. I know it’s a bad idea but guys look at him!

______

“Come on you have to come! Yes Topper might be there but it doesn’t matter.” My friend Bianca said trying to convince me to go to this party.

Of course I wanted to go but he’s going to be there. I am not going.

_____

I went.

I saw him and he saw me but I quickly went the other way before anything happened. I mean I haven't heard from you in a couple of months. And you just expect me to just hop back into your arms. Yes I want to do something about it but I'm out right now, and I'm all fucked up, wayyy too fucked up and I don’t wanna go back that road.

______

I have been here for a couple of hours and Topper still haven’t left. He never stays this long. After dancing for a while I got a little tired so I went to get a drink. And fucking Topper is also getting drinks. I try to ignore him and do what I have to do but that obviously didn’t work.

“Hey Y/n.”

Fuck.

“Hey Top.” I avoid eye contact. “How you doing?” He sounds nervous. “I’m doing good, what about you?” He shrugs. “I been alright better now I’m with you.” You just roll your eyes.

Once you’re done with the drinks you leave or at least try too. He grabs my arm not enough to hurt but his grip is pretty tight. We make eye contact and I can feel myself getting lost in his eyes again. And I know we're done, I know we're through.

But, God, when I look at you

“Come over N/n.” Only he calls me that and it still has the same effect on me. And I hate that. I should probably, probably not. “I don’t know Top.” He cuts me off. “Please N/n, I just wanna see you.”

“I’ll think about it. I will text you later.” Then I walk away to tell Bianca what the fuck just happened.

______

Seein' you tonight, it's a bad idea, right?

“It’s a bad idea right?”

“Um yes?! Y/n you spent months crying and now he says two words and you’re at his feet?! Stand on business!”

“I am! But he seemed pretty sincere.”

“Fuck being sincere. Y/n don’t do stupid shit.”

“Ok! I’ll text him no.”

“Good now I’m going to dance. Text him no.”

She left and once she’s out of sight. I text him.

n/n 🩷

im coming over

Seein' you tonight, fuck it, it's fine

______

I went over and we fucked like really fucked. He dropped me off and right now we’re pulling up to my house. “Bye Top.” “Bye N/n.” We kissed for a little bit then I finally left the car.

Bianca’s going to pissed.

______

“What the fuck?!”

“I didn’t mean too! It just happened.”

“Y/n.”

“Yes, I know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect? I only see him as a friend.”

That was the biggest lie I ever said.

“You are such a liar! So friends fuck now? Wow! I did not know that!” I can tell she’s being sarcastic.

“And you’re wearing his shirt!” I looked down and I am indeed wearing his shirt. “My clothes were dirty he was just being nice.”

“You’re so delusional I can’t.”

“It wasn’t my fault! I just tripped and fell into his bed.”

“You are terrible Y/n! Don’t let it happen again.”

She knows it’s gonna happen again.

______

“No she definitely had sex with him.” Me, Bianca and some other friends were just gossiping about people we don’t like at the country club. Then I got a text from no other than Topper. “Hey I gotta go to the bathroom real quick.” I say while walking towards the bathroom to answer his text.

top 🩷

Can you come over tonight n/n??

n/n 🩷

yea I’ll be there ml <3

As I’m walking back I’m smiling. I’m so excited to see him.

______

On my way to Topper and I told my friends I was asleep, but I never said where or in whose sheets.

I’m finally here it felt like it was forever since I’ve seen him and I pull up to your place, on the second floor. And you're standin', smiling at the door.

“Hey N/n. I missed you.” We hugged and stayed there for a while. “Top it’s only been 24 hours.” I said while laughing and he slowly joined in. “24 hours too long.” He said while pulling away and looking into my eyes. And I'm sure I've seen much hotter men, but I really can't remember when.

______

There was another party and everyone was there. Even Topper. I was dancing with Bianca and I can feel eyes on us, I turn and see Topper smiling at me and he sent a little wave. I waved back then he made a come here motion. I nodded and he went to a secluded spot. “Hey Bianca I’m getting something to drink, you want anything?” She shook her head and continued dancing.

I started to follow him and couldn’t find him anywhere. Then I felt arms around me. “Oh my god! Get off you weirdo!” You try to pull him off then he started laughing. You turned around and saw Topper. You slapped his arm. “You’re an asshole.”

“Hey I’m very sorry, just wanted to scare you.” He started to hug me and I hugged him back. “Can you come over tonight?”

I should probably, probably not

“Um ok.” You smiled and gave him a kiss and you both walked back to the party.

This can’t be a good idea. I’m slowly starting to see why we broke up in the first place. He’s getting possessive again. Seein' you tonight, it's a bad idea, right?

______

Seein’ you tonight, fuck it, it’s fine

Whatever I’m bored anyway.

______

It happened again. I fucked Topper and it was better than other times and yes, I know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect?

______

“Y/n…..”

“I only see him as a friend” Again that is the biggest lie I ever said.

“Y/n I’m only saying this because I’m your friend but you’re becoming old y/n, making excuses defending him when he treated you like shit.”

“And before you said but we. Yea you guys were cute together but everyone slowly saw what was going on behind closed doors.”

Bianca is a really good friend and I understand what she’s saying and I appreciate what she’s saying but I only see him as a friend, I just tripped and fell into his bed.

Right?

______

Then it was excuse after excuse.

“We’re just fuck buddies.”

“I ended it anyway.”

“I just tripped and fell into his bed you know?”

______

I’m getting really fucking tired of Topper. Right now he’s yelling about something and I’m just zoning him out.

“Are you even listening Y/n?! Do you not understand how this would make someone upset?!”

“Why are you yelling at me? I can't hear my thoughts Topper.”

“I’m not yelling, It’s just-.” Before he could finish I just left. I can hear him screaming behind me but I really couldn’t care less.

But I know it’s gonna be the same thing anyway and the same excuse.

‘I just tripped and fell into his bed’

An: AGHHHHHSHEIDND ngl i lowkey cooked on this but HOPED YOU ENJOYED MY LOVERSSSS 🤍🤍🤍🤍

#my lovers on top #outer banks x reader #spotify #olivia rodrigo #this song is so real #topper thornton #topper thorton x reader #enjoyyyy

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

Guts Prompt List

100 prompts for Guts by Olivia Rodrigo, practice good reblog karma and send a prompt or two to the person you reblog this from

I forgive and I forget

I know my age and I act like it

Got what you can't resist, I’m a perfect all-American bitch

I know my place and this is it

I don't get angry when I'm pissed, I'm the eternal optimist

All the time, I'm grateful all the time

I'm sexy and I'm kind, I'm pretty when I cry

Haven't heard from you in a couple of months, but I'm out right now and I'm all fucked up

And I know we're done, I know we're through, but, God, when I look at you

I should probably, probably not

Seeing you tonight, it’s a bad idea, right?

Seeing you tonight, fuck it, it's fine

Yes, I know that he's my ex but can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend, the biggest lie I ever said

I just tripped and fell into his bed

And I told my friends I was asleep but I never said where or in whose sheets

And I'm sure I've seen much hotter men but I really can't remember when

Hate to give the satisfaction asking how you're doing now

How's the castle built off people you pretend to care about

I see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when I close my eyes

Six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise

I loved you truly, you gotta laugh at the stupidity

Cause I've made some real big mistakes but you make the worst one look fine

I used to think I was smart but you made me look so naïve

Bloodsucker, famefucker, bleeding me dry like a goddamn vampire

Every girl I ever talked to told me you were bad, bad news

Oh, what a mesmerizing, paralyzing, fucked up little thrill

Went for me and not her cause girls your age know better

You said it was true love but wouldn't that be hard?

You can't love anyone cause that would mean you had a heart

Aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of Hell?

It's like you're made of angel dust

Yeah, I despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you

And I don't think I get along with anyone

I'm on the outside of the greatest inside joke

Feels like my skin doesn't fit right over my bones

The party's done, and I'm no fun, I know, I know

I broke a glass, I tripped and fell, I told secrets I shouldn't tell

I laughed at the wrong time, sat with the wrong guy

Everythin' I do is tragic

Want it, so I got it, did it, so it's done

Another thing I ruined, I used to do for fun

Another day pretendin' I'm older than I am

Another perfect moment that doesn't feel like mine

Well, sometimes I feel like I don't wanna be where I am

Push away all the people who know me the best

I'm so tired of bein' the girl that I am

And I'm playin' the victim so well in my head

And I tell someone I love them just as a distraction

They tell me that they love me like I'm some tourist attraction

I got the things I wanted, it's just not what I imagined

Master manipulator, god, you're so good at what you do

Come for me like a savior and I'd put myself through hell for you

And now you got me thinking two plus two equals five and I'm the love of your life

You built a giant castle with walls so high, I couldn't see

The way it all unraveled and all the things you did to me

Said I was too young, I was too soft

Can't take a joke, can't get you off

I know I'm half responsible and that makes me feel horrible

I know I could've stopped it all, God, why didn't I stop it all?

I met a guy in the summer and I left him in the spring

Another song, another club, another bar, another dance

So I miss him some nights when I'm feeling depressed

Do I love him? Do I hate him? I guess it's up and down

I wanna get him back, I wanna make him really jealous, wanna make him feel bad

Cause then again, I really miss him and it makes me real sad

Oh, I want sweet revenge and I want him again, I want to get him back

So I write him all these letters, then I throw them in the trash

But I am my father's daughter, so maybe I could fix him

I wanna key his car, I wanna make him lunch, I wanna break his heart, then be the one to stitch it up

He's gonna love me and hate me at the same time

I told my friends you were the one after I'd known you like a month

God, love's fucking embarrassing

And I consoled you while you cried over your ex-girlfriend's new guy

I'm plannin' out my wedding with some guy I'm never marryin'

I'm givin' up, I'm givin' up but I keep comin' back for more

One phone call from you and my entire world was changed

Trust that you betrayed, confusion that still lingers

My undying love, now I hold it like a grudge

And I hear your voice every time that I think I'm not enough

And I try to be tough, but I wanna scream how could anybody do the things you did so easily?

And I say I don't care, I say that I'm fine but you know I can't let it go

It takes strength to forgive, but I don't feel strong, it takes strength to forgive, but I'm not quite sure I'm there yet

The arguments that I have won against you in my head

 I fantasize about a time you're a little fucking sorry

You built me up to watch me fall

I started to skip lunch, stopped eatin' cake on birthdays

There's always something in the mirror that I think looks wrong

When pretty isn't pretty enough, what do you do?

You can win the battle but you'll never win the war, fix the things you hated and you'd still feel so insecure

It's in my phone, it's in my head, it's in the boys I bring to bed

I chased some dumb ideal my whole fucking life

And none of it matters and none of it ends, you just feel like shit over and over again

When am I gonna stop being wise beyond my years and just start being wise?

When am I gonna stop being a pretty young thing to guys?

When am I gonna stop being great for my age and just start being good?

Got your whole life ahead of you, you're only nineteen, but I fear that they already got all the best parts of me

And I'm sorry that I couldn't always be your teenage dream

Will I spend all the rest of my years wishing I could go back?

They all say that it gets better, it gets better, but what if I don't?

#ask game #my ask game #prompts #my prompts #prompt list #olivia rodrigo prompt list

[fullstcp]

"Confetti" by Little Mix Sentence Starters

BREAK UP SONG

"This is not a second chance."

"This is not a new romance, not tonight."

"This is for all the nights I cried for you."

"I was hoping you could be the one that could love me right."

"I'll be good all by myself."

"I'll find a way to dance without you."

"In the middle of the crowd I'll forget all the pain inside."

"Ain't no more tears."

"Ain't gonna cry."

"I'll do anything to get you off my mind."

"I'm gonna dance under the lights."

"I ain't even gonna call ya."

"The best thing I ever did was to let you go."

"Did you think you were the only one who could save me?"

"I ain't gonna take you back like I did before."

"I don't wanna turn back time."

"What's another lonely night?"

"I'm good without you."

"For all the tears that I cried, I'll sing it louder tonight."

"Let it play on and on and on."

"It's just another break up song."

HOLIDAY

"I swear you put the sun up in my sky."

"It's like the middle of July."

"I've been looking for this feeling, looking all my life."

"You feel like a holiday."

"We're just dancing the night away."

"No one else in the world could ever come close to you, baby."

"That's why I'm so glad I made you mine."

"You know that I want it."

SWEET MELODY

"In a whole 'nother life, there was this boy/girl that I knew."

"We were young and silly fools."

"He/she/they was/were in a band, wrote love songs about me."

"Every time we'd go dancing, I'd see his/her/their straying eyes."

"Gave him/her/them too many chances."

"He/she/they played me, made me believe it was real love."

"When he/she/they came along, that's when I lost a groove."

CONFETTI

"We wanna celebrate like we in the club everyday."

"Got all my friends here with me."

"I don't need you."

"I don't need your stress up on me."

"Baby, we're done, c'est la vie."

"Should've left your ass from time ago."

"Didn't love me then, but now I do."

"I used to sit at home and cry for you."

"Ain't blocking my blessings anymore."

"Never be the girl/guy/person I was before."

"I'ma let the good things in my life rain down."

"You're missing me, but I'm finally free."

"I got what I need."

"I ain't got no worry on my mind."

"You're just a memory."

"I'm gonna live my life."

"Can't kill my vibe."

"I'm doing so much better."

"I'm so good tonight."

HAPPINESS

"You messed with my heart too long, that was a big mistake."

"Got a smile on my face, love my reflection."

"I swear I'm never gonna lose me again."

"I was searching for happiness."

"I was using you to fill up my loneliness."

"Realized from the moment I set you free, I found the love in me."

"You can't rain on my happiness."

"Sometimes tears fall, I must confess."

"But now, I'm standing right where I'm meant to be."

"Brand new evolution of me ever since I let you go."

"Remember, I was mine before I was yours."

"I'm stronger without you."

NOT A POP SONG

"They look for picture perfect."

"Don't look deeper than the surface."

"That's just life, it never plays fair."

"Works for you, but that isn't me."

"If I'm a guilty pleasure, I want this life forever."

"Said we'll make it if we fake it."

NOTHING BUT MY FEELINGS

"I'm laying here in nothing but my feelings."

"You should probably come through if you know what's good for you."

"I know we will never work out."

"You ain't even gotta worry."

"Cause I want you."

"You should come and see me."

"Kinda tipsy but I'll wait up."

GLOVES UP

"Sweat on the carpet, blood on the walls."

"Nothing can stop me, stop the applause."

"They thought I was over, down on the floor."

"Ain't tapping out, see me coming for more."

"Ain't throwing the towel in or running away."

"Can't nobody tell me nothing."

"Just know, I'm gonna be starting something."

"I got m eyes on the prize."

"I'll fight 'til the day that I die."

"I'm gunning for gold."

"I've been breaking the mould."

"We'll rewrite the history pages, believe that."

"Make sure they don't forget."

A MESS (HAPPY 4 U)

"No bad blood, but we don't speak."

"I saw you holding hands on New Bond Street."

"And you know I'd be lying if I said I don't feel nothing at all."

"I've been trying to be the bigger person, but it's hard when I've been feeling so small."

"I'm still a mess, since you left."

"If I can't be happy with you, I'll be happy for you."

"No hard feelings."

"Love's looking good on you."

"If you're happy, I'm happy for you."

"Don't wanna be sour, but it's bittersweet."

"Ain't got time for being emotional."

MY LOVE WON'T LET YOU DOWN

"Your heart's given all that it had, but they say they don't love you back."

"The party's over and your friends are all gone."

"You're wondering where it all went wrong."

"I'll come running when you call out my name."

"It'll always be this way."

"I'll be there with you no matter what you're going through."

"I'll be there with you anytime that you need me to."

"Trust me, my love won't let you down."

"I know you've been losing the fight."

"You've been knocked down a million times."

"You don't know what to do."

"That's when I'll be right next to you."

"Tell me all of the fears in your head."

RENDEZVOUS

"I need your attention."

"Lately you've been slipping."

"Why do you make me miss you?"

"I guess that's my issue."

"Don't you need your fix too?"

"If you need a ride, I could be right outside."

"Nothing that I won't do."

"I ain't tryna fall in love with you."

"Come see me face to face."

"I want you every day."

"Tell me if you're still awake."

IF YOU WANT MY LOVE

"Sick and tired of your same mistakes."

"You never give me what I want."

"Get yourself together."

"You say you want me, but it's too late."

"I'ma keep it moving."

"I ain't waiting around forever."

"Whatever you're doing, it ain't enough."

"Everything you're doing right now's so basic."

"Make me feel like I'm the type of shit that you treasure."

"I know you got potential to show me that you're special."

"There's only one way to make your wish come true."

"You gotta work before I let you go."

BREATHE

"My baby don't love me no more."

"Never had this feeling before."

"Don't wanna face the truth that I'm still missing you."

"Now I can't erase your number."

"Kinda hate it that I love ya."

"I'm trying to let you go."

"How do I breathe when you're not with me?"

"How do I sleep in the space you leave?"

"Swear that my heart don't beat when you're gone."

"Every night I'm calling your name."

"Do you remember or are you replacing me?"

"If I call you, will you pick up?"

"Guess I'm drowning in the liquor."

"I thought that I was sick of you."

"Show me what to do."

#rp memes #rp starters #rp prompts #rp lyric meme #lyric prompts #lyric starters #sentence starters #roleplay starters #roleplay prompts #not the old me. 2.0 me. no it's all of meme combined (ask meme) #when there was me and queue (queue)

[wonderlandleighleigh]

Having sad girl hours — Lenny comforting midge over something?

Her shoulders shake as she clings to him, crying into his shirt silently, and Lenny holds her close, rubbing her back in slow circles.

Things had gone very wrong that night.

A gambling dispute in the basement of the Button Club had turned ugly and spilled upstairs into the club proper. Guns had been drawn and in an effort to shield Midge from one asshole's terrible aim, Lenny'd found himself the recipient of a bullet graze in the arm that had sliced through both jacket and shirt.

Stings like hell.

He'll get it looked at once Midge has calmed down.

One of the guys had been shot dead, though, and Lenny is angling them so Midge can't see the body on the floor. There's a short of list of things he feels like he needs to protect her from. That's on it.

"Are you okay?" Joel demands, rushing over. "Is she okay?"

"We're both fine," Lenny tells him. "You call the cops?"

"Yeah, they're on their way," Joel says, glancing back at the body. "Fuck. Jesus Christ."

"Yeah," Lenny agrees. "I'd say that's a fair assessment of the situation."

"Is Joel okay?" Midge sniffles out, her head still buried in against Lenny.

"You good?" Lenny asks the other man.

Joel nods. "Yeah. Midge? You wanna come up for air and talk to me?"

"He's good," Lenny tells her. He looks back to Joel. "How about she stays where she is so she doesn't have to glimpse what's on the floor."

Joel swallows and nods. "Yeah. That's- yeah."

"Where's Mei?" Lenny asks. "Was she here for this?"

"She's at home studying, she didn't come tonight," Joel says. "I called her already, she's on her way."

Lenny nods and strokes Midge's hair. "Okay."

"You better go head her off so she doesn't see what's on the floor either," Lenny warns him. "I know she's training to be a doctor, but I feel that this might be different."

Joel nods. "Yeah. Yeah."

As he stumbles off, Lenny sighs and holds Midge closer.

#fic #au #tmmm #Midge/Lenny #Midge x Lenny

[r0-boat]

GUYS I- hhhhh

Had a nap and and I had a dream and this is how it went:

I'm met Emmet at this really fancy gentlemen's club

( I don't know what a gentleman's club is they said that's just what they called it)

I was in some pretty fancy expensive attire emmet was in a suit and tie

Apparently I was a famous model and Emmet was also really famous, so we're both walking the gentlemen's club my arm around his as we get into a limo.

He said you were going to his place and the driver starts driving.

And the whole time he's just looking at me. Like looking. Pretty much eye fucking me the whole time occasionally starting small talk until we arrive.

We don't stay long inside of the living room until emmet gides me to the master bedroom.

There was a CAMERA , and ingo already on the bed his tie undone sipping a glass of wine.

Then emmet who was rubbing my sides leans in and Whispers " I hope this won't be too much for you? Before we start, are you camera shy?"

That must have shook me so bad because I woke up then and there fbfj and I'm crying because I wish I was asleep for a lot longer.

I'm praying that tonight I'll have the same dream again.

sleeping in full 8 hours tonight👉👈

#ro.chatting #smut #ingo.thirst #emmet.thirst

[x3kristax3]

⚠️TW: sucide, drug reference, sexual content

A part of me 2/3

First| Next

He reaches for me but i move away "that night i blacked out i dont remember much expect i drank 2 big bottles of Jack. Jessy had to call an ambulance by the time she came home and i woke up to my stomach being pumped out" i say lifting the shirt up showing the scare "shes not joking Jake if she hadn't came home when she did i would of die because thats the night i wanted it all to end. If i couldnt have you i didn't want to be here anymore" i say crying

"Please don't say that" he says

"Oh i said it in voicemails and texts to you multiple times that night i thought for certain it would change something in your heart and nothing so i tried what Jessy doesnt know is i also took some pills that night. Thats another big reason they had to pump me like they did"

Jake pulls me close fighting me fighting him until i just melt in his lap "I'm so sorry i wasn't there" 

"Sorry only means things if you can prove it. Jessy taught me that, that night. She said she would never leave me when i'm going through my downs of missing you and she proved it. She moved plans and switched days with girls at work to stay by me and when she couldn't she paid for Dan to come out and spend that time with me." I sit up and look at him and see he's heartbroken as he runs his fingers through my hair "this wasn't how you imagined tonight is it?" I say wiping a tear away from my face

"Not at all. When i saw you at the club and dancing with that guy i almost wanted to punch him right away. It made me feel like i was gonna lose you forever if i didn't do something right there to let you know" he says

Without even thinking i lean into him and kiss him then i pull away and look away and bite my bottom lip. He grabs my chin making me look at him "fuck i missed that kiss and that look" he says kisses me this time deep and i crawl into his lap

As i do theres a knock on his door " i know your in there" yells Jessy

I sigh "shes relentless"

"How did she find you?" He asks

"My location when we have girls nights we get updates of any new pings to eachother phone"  i sigh

"I just want time alone with you" he says as she pounds on the door

" shes not gonna go until she sees me" i say i say getting up and he does too and we go to the door. I stand just in front of him as he opens the door

"Jessy go home. I want to stay here tonight" i say

"I tried to keep her home" says cloe

"Its okay" i say i look at Jake "can they come in for a moment?"

"As long as she doesn't go crazy bestie on me again"

I look at Jessy "can you promise him that?"

"I can try" she says. We move from the door cloe and hannah both say Hi to him

Jessy pokes his chest "you enter her life again i dont want to see you disappear again" she says

"Everything is safe. Ive even stopped hacking until i knew i was safe to find her" he says

"What?!" I say looking surpised at Jake

"Yeah we hadn't got to that yet but didn't you notice I don't have all the screens always going?"

"No i hadn't…. Not gonna lie those other moments we had since alone again i hadnt really looked around"

"Krista why are you in his clothes?" Says hannah

"I showered after that guy at the club"

"I still dont trust you to not break her heart again. After losing Richy, i can't lose her like that…. Did she tell you she flatlined twice on us that night!?" Jessy says

"No she didn't" says Jake

" i was about to lose my best friend because you left her and she couldn't handle it after trying everything to get you back" she says tears in her eyes

I hug her "Jessy i think thats enough we will talk tomorrow when were all 100% sober okay?"

"Only if he comes to the apartment" She says

I look over at Jake 

" okay i will i will bring her home tomorrow and we can talk this all through" he says

Hannah and cloe manage to get her out and once they are gone. Jake pins me against the wall again looking down at me and he sees me melt as his slides his leg between mine.

"Oh we're gonna do this again?" I say with a smirk

"Yep i still have to get you back" he says bringing his mouth close to mine and acting like hes gonna kiss me but as i lean up he moves back "now where were we?" He says with that devilish smirk that sends chills down my spin as he takes a hand and runs it under his shirt that im wearing while his other hand holds one of mine above my head

I turn my head "jesus you haven't forgotten what drives me insane" i say and my legs go weak and im sitting on his thigh 

"No jesus here just this devil tonight and i sure haven't." He moves closer to my ear and whispers in it "since the night i left i thought about this moment. Only thing that kept me sane without you" he says as he kisses my neck.I take a big gulp trying to fight the urge " just give in" he says and as he does a soft moan escapes my mouth

"Good girl" he says as i feel his breath on my neck and his hands going along my back.

I move closer to him "please jake" i say turning my head towards him again and i look into his eyes and he smiles

"Was there anyone else since i left" he asks

"No." I say knowing what he's asking

He kisses me deep and i moan into his mouth as i lose any control i had. He pulls away and lets my hand go and i pull my shirt off but he stops it just above my head as he grabs it pinning it like that " its cute you thought you had any kind of control here" he says  as he moves me and hooks the shirt on a coat rack and walks away.

With his back still turned i manage to get my hands free and i wrap an arm around his chest. Feeling his muscles as i lean into his back "with you i know i don't. Id do anything for you" i say

As i say and do that he grabs my arm thats around him pulls me around to his front "you know there are certain things i won't let you do for me" he says while looking in my eyes

"Anything that can result in you losing me forever" i say

He kisses me deep again this time both hands on my waist as my hands run up and down his arms and chest. He starts moving us towards the couch me walking backwards and we get to the arms and i fall backwards onto cushions. I let out a whimper cause he steps back and is looking down at me.  I get up on my elbows and say "please stop teasing me"

" but you know i enjoy it" he says running his hands up my legs to short waistband and slowly moves them down. He does that and I fall back and let out a frustrated whimper. Once the shorts are off he grabs my hips and pulls me up to the sitting on the arm rest at this point im naked. He grabs my chin and pulls my head up so im looking at him "I'm gonna stop here. Im going to bed" he says kissing me again and walks away. 

I go to follow him and he turns around in the bedroom door frame. " you take 1 step in here and mr. Nice guy is gone until we wake up" he says stepping back once

I take a step in so im right against him "maybe i don't want mr. Nice guy tonight" i say with a smile

He grabs my waist picking me up and tosses me on the bed as he strips down to just boxers and i see a new tattoo on his thigh. I sit up and run my fingers across it and smile

"Why you smiling?" He asks

" you got that in my handwriting" i say

" yep the only paper i could find before i had to leave that you wrote me said those words on it and incase i couldn't find you id have it forever"

I go to get up to kiss him but he push me back as his hands run between my thighs for the first time all night and my legs instantly spread. Without even looking at Jake i know he's smiling. He lets his fingers slowly trace every inch of my body that it hasn't yet and my body instantly arches.

He starts kissing my calves up my thighs then back down the other leg. I feel his breathing on my skin. I let out a moan "i thought no more nice guy?" I say getting frustrated trying to push him futher

He crawls on top of me and my breathing getting shallow. "I know what you want and im gonna make you work for it tonight" he says this time kissing my chest.

My hand goes behind his head and the other one grabs the bedding as my body arches as he does that and i take in a deep breathe "Jake please" i beg

As i beg he slides a hand between my thighs and feels the warmth and wetness and he looks at me and smiles "someone is enjoying this" he says

" someone else is too" is i run my hand on his bulge

"Honestly the moment i knew you were following me out of the club hes been there" 

"You knew you had me in the palm of your hand" i say as i lean up to kiss him

As i do he kisses me deep and slides a finger in me. I moan instantly into his mouth as my body aches towards him

He pulls away from the kiss and bites his bottom lip "that's the moan i was looking for" he says as he just slides his finger out and slides his boxers off and slides in. 

********

I finally wake up and its almost noon. I look over at jake side and he's not there i get up throwing on the shorts from last night and as im about to walk into the living room i hear jakes voice and someone's else. I go into his closet and finds another shirt to throw on and walks out. His visitor looks at me then looks at Jake "really dude i thought your heart was on your old girl?"

"That is her" jake says as he walks into the kitchen and i follow

"Who's that?" I ask

"One of my hacker buddies who helped me get out of that life" he says handing me a cup of coffee "i figured after last night you needed to sleep" as he looks down at me

"Well i mean unless you were gonna wake me up the way i like" i say with a smile and i kiss his cheek

"God how i missed this with you. Mornings like this" he says running his hand through my hair. As he does his buddy comes walking in

"Its nice to meet you Krista" he says "but ill let you two be you probably have alot to catch up on cause i know how he feels about you" he says as he heads back out

"Krista stay here for a moment" jake says kissing me then heads out with his buddy 

"Hey man dont say anything in the community. Im really trying to walk away from that life and i know she still enters the chats" jake says

"Dude she was only getting into those chats to look for you. I told you when you walked away from her that if you didnt win her back once it was cleared up youd lost your mind. Obviously you never lost her heart" he says as he leaves

Jake walks back into the kitchen and i look at him as i lean against the counter drinking my coffee "you know when you had my call Jessy last night, you almost lost me."

He walks uo to me "i know thats why i wasn't letting you get too far away from me because i didn't want that to happen." He says running his hand along that scar again "im sorry i left you alone to the point you thought that was your only choice"

"Because i couldnt find you even in the hacker chats i thought you died. It felt like that mine all over again" i say.I hear my phone go off "its probably Jessy we should head there before she calls the cops" i roll my eyes

"Let me get dressed" he says

I grab my clothes from the night before and head into the bathroom. In there i see an outfit i swore i had lost and i open the door "jake what is this?" I ask

He comes out dressed in black jeans and a black shirt "when i left i grabbed that for if this moment happened so this morning i put them in there for you so you didnt have to wear those clothes again" he says

I close the door and throw them on. It was one of my favorite shirts he had bought me and a pair of leggings. I walk out and i catch him staring at me. "What?" I say with a smirk

"Just like i remember… but here catch" he says tossing me a bike helmet

"Really?" I say

"Yeah were riding over on my bike" he says

#duskwood #duskwoodlover #duskwood fanfiction #fanfic #writing #mc x jake