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moljh · 3 months

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Can't Fix Him

Eddie Munson x Reader (fem)

Inspired by the prompt: 'I can't fix him but I can fuck him'

Fluff, smut, etc

The music was loud. You could feel the vibrations of the base coursing through your body before you had even entered the house. Tina's annual Halloween party was known for being the biggest and best thing in town on this night. She was lucky that her uncle worked in the mayor's office and had connections within the police department, otherwise you were sure the party would've been shut down from noise complaints. It was also a good thing that her lavish house was situated at the end of a sprawling drive, so as to keep the drunk teenagers away from the rest of the roaming children in the streets.

Coming to the front door, your friends didn't bother knocking on the door as it would have been pointless. Walking inside you were immediately hit with the abrasive smell of weed and alcohol in the air. You weren't shocked by the presence of either, but you were surprised at how despite the open back doors how strong the smell remained.

The four of you had your way over to the punch, where you each filled your cup and took a swig of the mystery liquid. A familiar burning flowed down your throat and warmth filled your stomach. It was just what you wanted on a cool night as this and especially after a brutal week at school.

"I'm going to see if I can find Simon" one of your friends declared, venturing off into the crowd to find the boy she had been seeing but refused to say it was officially considered dating

That left the three of you and soon the other two headed off to the bathroom together leaving you on your lonesome. You didn't mind it though, gave you a moment to survey the crowd and gather who was there. In the centre of it all were couples pressed against each other dancing along to the music, while their bodies became sweatier and sweatier.

Having the urge for a cigarette, you decided to do the right thing by Tina and headed out back for a smoke. Winding your way through the people filling the house, you managed to find a chair near the back of the house that wasn't too crowded. You could hear the chanting in the distance and someone was obviously winning some sort of drinking game and you made a mental note to head over that way afterwards to see what all the fuss was about.

Sitting down you began rummaging in your pocket for you pack of smokes and lighter.

"Fuck," you muttered under your breath as you realised you had left your lighter in your bag at home

You sat there for a moment, disgruntled in the situation as the unlit cigarette hung from your lips sadly.

"Need some help there?" a voice behind you asked and you spun around to face who had spoken

From the shrouded darkness a few feet in front of you they stepped out like some sort of supervillain and into the light. They had something else between their lips but you could tell from the smell that it wasn't tobacco.

"What's Eddie Munson doing at Tina's party?" you asked smugly He chuckled at your question "How else are those basketball idiots meant to get high?" he retorted "Touché" you said, "can I get that light then?" you asked, gesturing to the still unlit cigarette "What do I get if I do?" Eddie sarcastically questioned back "You get to say for the first time that you made a girls night" you shot back

Leaning forward, he slowly extended his arm and used his lighter to light your cigarette. It was in that moment, as Eddie 'The Freak' Munson was so close to you, with only the dim light from the distance and his lighter that you noticed how handsome he actually was. Hidden underneath the bravado and mane of hair, was an attractive face.

"Definitely not the first time a girl has told me that" he cockily remarked, pulling away

The two of you remained there, content in the silence as he worked his way through the joint and you the cigarette.

"So I know why you came in the first place, but why have you stayed then?" you asked him, though he seemed confused by your question "I mean, I doubt anyone here is exactly welcoming to you" you tried to put in the best possible way, without outright saying that people hated him and thought he was a total freak "Well they're smoking my weed, I may as well drink their booze" "I mean, technically I think it's Rick's weed," you said, shooting him a knowing look "You got me there y/n" he replied and you were surprised he knew your name

You weren't sure how much time had passed, but as you came to the butt of your smoke, you dropped it to the ground and used the tip if your boot to stamp it out. Standing up you looked back to where a crowd was formed on the back lawn and noticed your friends at the edge keeping a watchful eye on you.

"Thanks for the light Munson," you said "Any time y/l/n" Eddie said as you walked away

It took you all of five seconds to walk across the lawn and back into the music and heat of everyone.

"Were you just talking to Eddie Munson?" your friends collectively asked as you rejoined the group "Yeah," you replied nonchalantly "and?" "He's such a freak though" Melanie remarked "He wasn't that bad, you know up close he's actually pretty good looking" "Actually if you look at old photos y/n's not wrong" Andrea chimed in "Yeah, just give it all a bit of a trim and fix him up a bit…" Taylor added "he mightn't be all that bad" "I mightn't be able to fix him in a night…" you began, thinking about what you were about to say next "but I might be able to fuck him"

The three of them let out a shocked gasp at your declaration. Each of you had your own conquests, but your interest in Eddie went against your usual type.

"Oh my god y/n, you can't be serious?" Andrea said Taylor laughed before she spoke "I think it's iconic really, you have to" "And then immediately tell us" Melanie added "I think I'm just tipsy enough that this seems like a good idea" you declared to your friends

You appreciated that they didn't judge you or run off to gossip about your idea. You gave them all a quick goodbye and brief hug before making you way back over to the edge of the house where you'd last seem Eddie.

He wasn't where you had left him all of five minutes ago, so you walked down the side of the house to see if he had made his way to the front. You stood there for a moment, clearly out of place standing by yourself looking around for him. You knew if it took you long enough to find him, you'd lose your confidence and back out of the impulsive decision you were making.

That's when a van pulled up in front of you and the window rolled down to reveal just the guy you'd been looking for.

"You alright?" he asked, seemingly with genuine concern "Feel like giving me a ride?" you softly asked "Sure," he said "jump in"

Getting inside the van you were grateful to see that it was far cleaner inside than expected. Hopping into the passenger seat you began giving Eddie vague directions towards your house, with little intention of actually taking him there. Driving along the bare backroads you began fiddling with your necklace, when you felt the clasp open and it slip from your neck.

"Oh shit," you muttered leaning forward, trying to locate it in the darkness "You right?" Eddie asked, still driving and keeping his eyes on the road "I just dropped my necklace…" you said "do you have a flashlight or something back there that I could use to find it?" "Umm…" he seemed to trail off in thought, trying to go through the van's inventory "there should be one, let me just pull over and check"

Stopping in a spot just off the road, he turned and looked haphazardly behind him for the flashlight, but with no success. Huffing, you undid your seatbelt and climbed over into the back to look for it. Although you were genuinely trying to locate it, you became more aware that Eddie was getting a nice view of your ass as your remained bent over in the back looking for the light.

"I have no clue where this thing is," you declared "can you help me?" "Oh um, yeah, sure…" he replied, "just give me a second"

You heard the ignition turn off and the van move as he climbed over the back to where you were. The two of you continued to look for a few more seconds until you sighed and turned around in supposed defeat.

"It might be a lost cause" you said, adjusting your seat and coincidentally moving closer to where Eddie was "I think so…" he replied, seemingly doing the same movement as you "so…" he awkwardly said, as if to avoid the silence "So what?" you innocently said, looking up at him with flirtatious eyes

You both sat there for a moment, leaning ever so slightly closer to the other, unsure who was going to make the first move. You slowly moved your hand from the floor of the van and along his denim covered thigh. He let out a slight moan at the action which signaled to you that he was happy with your decision.

Continuing the movement of your curious fingers, you grazed them up his firm chest and towards the back of his neck. You carefully ran your fingers through his curls and finally settled on his cheek.

"You're going to need to stop doing that" he gruffly said, shooting you a knowing look "Stop what?" you said with a wide-eyed innocence as if you truly didn't know what you were doing to him "you mean this?" you remarked, moving your other hand up and pausing at the cold clasp of his belt buckle "you want me to stop then?" "Well not know" he said

From there few words were spoken. Eddie wrapped his rough hand around the back of your neck and pulled you into him. His lips were soft and welcoming as he kissed you. You moved with him as he kissed you deeper and held you closer. Moving his hand into your hair he grasped the base of your hair tightly, causing you to let out a soft moan, seeing his chance he gently bit down on your bottom lip and slowly moved his mouth down your neck.

You needed to better position yourself, so you placed your hand flat against his chest and pulled back for a moment. He seemed surprised as you lifted your leg over him and proceeded to straddle him. This time you took charge, peppering kisses along his jaw and down his neck towards his exposed nape. Moving back up you lightly nipped his earlobe making him needily groan.

You could feel his fingers playing with the hem of your shirt, and you helped him by pulling it off swiftly. His eyes expanded as he came face to face with your boobs within a bright red lace bra.

"Oh my god you're so gorgeous" he said, cupping your breasts and squeezing them slightly making you grin "This needs to come off now" you informed him referring to his shirt, which is quickly obliged

He didn't waste long removing your bra and throwing it across the van. He brought his lips to your nipples and ran his tongue around them, making you throw your head back in pleasure. Eddie continued this for a bit longer and you anticipated a hickey in the morning.

"My turn" you told him, pushing him down onto his back

He lay there still, as you inched slowly further down. Teasing him, you took your time with his belt, making his squirm as you could already see how hard he was underneath the constraints of the denim. Finally allowing him free, you pulled down his trousers and boxers with them to reveal his impressive length.

He was longer and girthier than you had anticipated, not insanely big but big enough to make you audibly gasp. Running your hand over it, you smirked as he let out a soft moan at your movements. Seductively looking up at him, you made eye contact as you ran your tongue from the base to the tip of his cock. You could feel him throbbing and he couldn't stop letting out moans of pleasure as you continued to wrap your mouth around him.

"Holy shit y/n, just like that" he gasped as you felt him hit the back of your throat and he grabbed ahold of your head and pushed you down further causing you to gag.

Coming back up for air, he looked at you with pure sex in his eyes and leant down, placing a soft kiss to your lips.

"Think it's your turn now," he whispered into your ear and suddenly flipped you over, so now he was on top of you

He pulled your own jeans down quickly and practically ripped your panties off when he came to them. You could feel that you were already wet at that thought of him and shuddered as he ran his fingers over your clit.

"You're so wet" he chuckled, slowly moving his fingers around, slipping one between your folds "Just for you" you muttered, eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of him touching you You felt his hot breath against your ear as he said "what do you want me to do to you?"

His words made you squirm.

"I want you to fuck me until I can't walk" you said without even thinking "Oh that was a given sweetheart" was all he said before going down on you

His tongue moved with expertise. You'd never had someone move the way he did. Flicking his tongue over your clit he inserted two fingers inside of you and moved them in just the right way. Arching your back he pinned you down, preventing you from moving away from his mouth. It came over you before you could even realise and your body shook with pleasure against his tongue and around his fingers.

"I need you inside of me" you said, desperate to feel him

You could hear him rustling around for a moment and then come back to you, quickly putting a condom on. You were glad that he had come prepared because in the heat of it all you had completely forgot.

You gasped in pleasure as you felt him press the tip of his cock against your opening. You gripped his bare back and ran your nails down it. He held there for a second and then thrusted the rest of his length within you. You couldn't help but let out a cry as he filled you up completely.

"Are you ok?" he immediately asked upon hearing you "Yes!" you exclaimed, overcome with pleasure "keep going"

He began to thrust in and out of you, making you shuddering beneath him. As he moved you rotated your hips with him, causing him to moan as well. You stayed like that for a while, consumed within each other until his pace began to slow.

"Are you going to cum for me?" you asked, wanting him to say yes "I'm so close" he breathily said against your lips as he pulled you back in "Good" you said

He get pumping into you and suddenly quickened again, slamming into you making your walls tighten. Your breath began to shorten and you dug your fingers into his back again, as his breaths faltered too and you felt yourself approaching the edge once again. Eddie let out a few final moans and you felt yourself contract around him as you came simultaneously.

"Fuck" he gasped as he finally came and collapsed in exhaustion next to you "Wow" was all you said, staring up in disbelief at the ceiling of the van

You half expected him to get straight up and drive you home, but he rolled onto his side and pulled you towards him once again. Kissing you this time it felt less desperate and hungry, more sincere and soft.

"Is that how you expected tonight to go?" you asked, chuckling lightly "Let's just say I didn't think offering a light to y/n y/l/n would end up with me having the best sex of my life in the back of my van" he declared "Damn," you remarked "best sex of your life eh? Think I deserve a medal or something for that" "Trust me," Eddie said, wrapping his hand around the back of your neck once more "you can ask for more than just that"

#stranger things #y/n #eddie x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie stranger things #stranger things eddie #eddie #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson smut #smut #stranger things smut #female reader #reader smut

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yongility · 2 months

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NEO TV # I LIKE ME BETTER WHEN I'M WITH YOU. (jaehyun x reader) 2/?

genre: angst, suggestive, gang au, rich kid au, enemies to lovers (kinda), a lil of fluffy stuff. slowburn, series.

warnings: drug use mentions, gangs, fights, use of weapons, adult language, illegal activities, cheating (not on the main couple), toxic family environment, addictions, manipulation, insecurities, illegal street racing, death mentions. jeno is jaehyun's younger brother, angst, smut and if I slip something my bad haha.

word count: +10k? (I really went all for this chapter)

a/n: I'm a sucker for cliche stuff so as soon as this fic popped in my mind I had to write it down, english isn't my first language tho.

I’m sorry if this is too long TT, but this is kinda a slowburn? it might contain a lot of parts so wait for part 3! One of the reasons this is long af it’s because I would like to show you how Jaehyun and (Y/N)'s life is before they get together! So pls pls don’t skip anything I hope you like it!

if you want to be in the taglist, just lemme know;) enjoy!

Jung Jaehyun was an idiot.

But he was a clever idiot, and anyone who knew him would know that.

That's why within Neo Zone, his boss had the trust he had in him. Jaehyun was his best guy, or at least that's what he proclaimed enthusiastically every time the boy handed him a new payment for the merchandise he had to sell in his area.

None of his guys were as good negotiators as Jung Jaehyun.

He didn't know if it was because of the particular and convincing way he spoke or if it was because of the bad boy appearance he had, which made people pay him everything they owed him with just a bad look from him. Jaehyun didn't consider himself good at many things, but he was definitely good with numbers, maybe because since the initiation of his gang almost eight years ago, his only job was to maintain the sale - and sometimes purchase - of merchandise. So the numbers always, always had to be exact unless he wanted his boss to get angry and face consequences.

Because despite being a good worker, Jaehyun had faced consequences on multiple occasions.

His scars around his body were not a deco. They didn't have the purpose of scaring away anyone who stood in front of him. They had a slightly different origin than most people thought. Yes, some were the result of a street fight that possibly took place in one of the underground races. Perhaps from a fight against another dealer who tried to sell in his area, but many of them were caused during his early years in the business, where being a kid with little knowledge of how to handle the merchandise he carried with him, things would go wrong and he had to be punished by his own boss and the elders of the gang.

As he often heard during those years, he learned the easy way or the hard way.

Jaehyun's initiation into the gang was different from what other teenagers in Neo Zone had experienced.

In his own defense, he never believed that his initiation had been extreme compared to the experiences he had heard about, however, Jaehyun had to join the gang at the age of eleven.

Normally initiations took place between fourteen and fifteen years old, but there was an exception with the boy. Families in Neo Zone had to have at least one active member in the gang - commonly the man was that member - and it didn't matter if it was the grandfather, father, or son. There always had to be one if they wanted to continue with the safety of their family.

Because being active ensured you the protection that Lee Sooman could offer your family.

So when Jaehyun's father was brutally killed in what they called a clash in a raid. The next member of the Jung family had to take his place, and being Jaehyun the oldest brother and becoming the man of the house, he had to answer for the protection of his family, at his young age of eleven. The boy's duties initially did not involve business as such, since he was still inexperienced in the matter, but Lee Sooman took him under his wing and managed to get Jaehyun to accompany him wherever he was to start acquiring the knowledge he expected to have thanks to the experiences he had with his new boss.

But there was a time when Jaehyun had other aspirations.

There was a time when Jaehyun appreciated getting up to go to school to learn, not to keep his business running. There was a time when the boy could approach his mother while she cooked, sing together, and dance with his little brother happily.

There was a time when Jaehyun loved to sing, and all those little things that brightened his life even a little were damaged by the businesses he was starting to manage.

Because by now, Jaehyun wouldn't just be a dealer.

Lee Sooman expected a lot from him.

And he hated that he did.

If only he could escape from that zone, he would do it as soon as the first opportunity arose, but things weren't as easy as he thought.

And he knew that more than anyone else.

In the end, the only reason for his mere existence currently and the only reason he endured all he had to endure was for his family, which meant everything to him. It was all he had, it was all that drove him to continue, and it was all that gave him the strength to get up every day.

And because he was the man of the house, right?

And he had to take care and protect his family even if he didn't do it with his own life.

But maintaining that title wasn't easy, especially having a rebellious teenager as a brother and having to take care of all the bills that ran through his house.

If only his brother could make things easier for him. If only his brother would listen to him once in his life... because if there was one person who didn't listen to Jaehyun, if there was one person he found difficult to intimidate, it wouldn't be anyone other than Jeno.

And amidst all his complications, there would be no greater one than trying to make a teenager listen to him.

The streets of Neo Zone are not safe at any time of the day, but of course, they would be even more dangerous when the sun set. Jaehyun, as much as he wanted, would never understand why fate gave them that life, if only... if only they had been more fortunate and even just grown up in Kosmo*, his life would be so different.

Jaehyun hated walking the streets of Neo Zone, especially if it wasn't for business, but there he was, walking through the dark alleys that were barely illuminated by the reflection of the moon that had recently filled. His steps were short but firm, as his personality used to be. His leather jacket covered him well from the cold breeze he could feel in his bones, and the rings on his fingers helped him stay focused as he ran his thumb over them. In the distance, within an alley, he could see a pair of cigarette tails being lit as smoke emanated from the mouth of the person consuming it. Jaehyun took a deep breath as he disapproved and approached the group of boys more and more.

Immediately he could recognize him, that blue hair couldn't go unnoticed even if he wanted, what a bad choice his brother had made.

Once he found himself at the entrance of the alley, he grabbed a stick from what once seemed to be a baseball bat and, taking advantage of the distraction of those boys, he made it hit against the garbage container next to him, causing the boys to jump in fright and change their gaze towards him.

Meanwhile Jeno maintained eye contact.

"Let's go," Jaehyun snapped without hesitation.

Jeno's friends and his own brother ignored him and continued with their business, Jeno taking a drag of his joint and exhaling the smoke from his lungs with a cynical side smile. His friends let out a laugh that made Jaehyun's blood boil, and he hit the garbage container again - "I said let's go, Jeno."

His brother huffed as he rolled his eyes: "Go bother someone else, Jaehyun."

The boy clenched his jaw and, dropping the stick from his hands forcefully, he then approached the group of boys and seeing the determination with which Jaehyun walked, the boys stepped back a few centimeters, Jeno stood up and held his gaze firmly on his brother's.

When Jaehyun reached him, he snatched the joint from his lips and threw it to the ground to then step on it. He raised his gaze again and looked at the boys, who were behind his brother with a bit of panic in their eyes.

"What are you looking at? Get out of here if you don't want me to wipe that scared puppy look off your faces and give you real reasons to be scared," he snapped brusquely. The boys simply shrank in their place, not moving an inch - "Haven't you heard me? Get lost!"

This time, the group of young vandals hurriedly left the alley, leaving both boys facing each other, staring directly into each other's eyes and without saying a single word. Only annoyance could be felt emanating from each of their bodies.

"What the hell are you doing, Jaehyun? Can't you go bother somewhere else?" asked Jeno, exasperated.

"You didn't go to the school," his older brother replied with no expression on his face.

Jeno let out an incredulous laugh and shook his head amusedly - "Is that why you're here? To make a scene because I didn't go to the school?"

"I put all my damn effort so you can attend that school, and the least you can do is not skip," he said while pointing a finger at his chest and pushing him forcefully - "And what do you do all damn day, huh? This?" - he pointed at the joint that was now shattered under his foot - "Hanging out with those boys and wasting your life like this?"

"You're no better," Jeno retorted.

Jeno had had his initiation into the gang not long ago. Two years ago, when he turned fourteen, and since then, Jaehyun had managed and had done everything possible to keep his boss from involving him in any business, and to be able to maintain that, his workload had increased, since now he had to do what Jeno would have to do, because definitely being a dealer with no future was not something Jaehyun wanted for his brother. He knew Jeno was smart. He knew Jeno had the potential to be someone in life.

To have a future away from Neo Zone.

Not like him.

And the last thing he wanted was to see his brother being an addict in the alleys of Neo Zone.

"I just care about you," Jaehyun said quietly.

Jeno looked at him with his eyes reddened by the substance he had just ingested and clenched his jaw after hearing that.

"You care about me? You do the same fucking thing every day. And let me tell you that you're not just an addict, you're a damn dealer. Congratulations, you bring money to the table! But at what cost? You talk about caring? You ruin other people's lives," Jeno spat as he lightly pushed him.

Jaehyun wished he could say that those words didn't hurt him, but it was impossible. After all, they came from the mouth of his little brother, who was one of the lights of his life.

"Jeno, we're not going to argue about this," Jaehyun said as he felt his rings and ran his thumb over them "but this is not what I want for you, you have more future than those boys you hang out with, Jeno. You have more future than me. It's just that you don't want to see it... this... this is not what I want for you. I don't want you to spend the rest of your life on these damn streets looking for pleasure in some damn drugs and I don't want to see you overdose. For now, it's weed, but if you don't know how to control yourself and don't know how to handle it, it won't be just that. You're not a child, Jeno, and you should know that your actions have consequences."

"Why do you talk as if you were a saint, Jaehyun!?"

"Because I damn know what I'm talking about !" the older one exclaimed, about to explode and giving him a stern look - "Jeno, you need to understand that this is not what I want for you."

"If this is not what you want for me, why don't you do something better than getting into my damn life? Why don't you start with yourself, huh? How do you expect this not to be part of me if you have mom and me in this shitty place?"

"I'm trying, Jeno... I..."

"Trying? How? By selling more kilos every day? That doesn't help at all, Jaehyun! Why don't you do something else? Why didn't you get us out of here when you could?" he questioned as he approached him again until they were face to face. Both with a firm gaze, without hesitating and without flinching.

"Oh, I know," Jeno muttered - "you don't do shit because you're afraid of ending up like poor Sicheng, right?" - he blurted out.

And that was the last straw.

By inertia and upon hearing that name, Jaehyun's arm lifted and went to punch his younger brother's cheek, causing the area to immediately turn red and Jeno's face to move to the side. The blue-haired boy brought his hand to his cheek and slowly returned his gaze to his brother, finding a bit of regret in his eyes.

"Don't ever mention Winwin like that again," Jaehyun requested without moving.

"Fuck you."

Jeno lightly pushed Jaehyun and walked briskly out of the alley they were in.

And then Jaehyun found himself alone with regret running through his body.

If only things were simpler.

_____________________________________________

"Did you go to Neo Zone!?" Jungwoo's exclamation made (Y/N) jump in her place and quickly approach him to cover his mouth with her own hands while giving him a stern look.

"Shut up, Woo, my mother can hear you!" she retorted almost in a whisper but agitatedly. Then she removed her hand from the boy's mouth and sat down next to him on the bed.

"Are you crazy? What were you doing there on a Friday night?" he asked, accusing her. They remained silent for a few seconds, then Jungwoo jumped on the bed and looked at her in surprise.

"Who are you fucking and why didn't you tell me anything!?”

(Y/N) widened her eyes and quickly shook her head.

"None of that! God, Jungwoo, you're an idiot," she lightly tapped his head with the palm of her hand.

"I'm not seeing anyone."

The boy rubbed his head with a small pout and then looked at her curiously.

"So?"

"It was for Daeho," the girl declared.

Jungwoo rolled his eyes dramatically and stood up from the bed to stand right in front of her, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Now, what trouble did that idiot get himself into?"

With a heavy sigh, the girl looked at her hands and slightly shrunk in her place. "A big one, Jungwoo. You should have seen how he came home on Friday."

"What happened?"

"Well, what do you think happened? The idiot bought drugs and didn't pay on time. And to make matters worse, he decided to buy them from Jaehyun and made him go to Neo Zone. Apparently, his boss got angry about the debt, and believe me, he was very angry."

"And what have they done to Daeho?" he questioned her again, this time with concern in his voice.

"They beat him up, Jungwoo. He's covered in bruises and they've split his lip and eyebrow," she explained frustratedly.

"Was it Jaehyun?"

"Huh?"

"Did Jaehyun beat him up?"

"No. No, Jaehyun was with me when that happened," she commented while sighing. "But I don't know what to do, Jungwoo. I'm really worried about Daeho. I'm afraid something like that might happen again and it'll end up worse."

Jungwoo looked at her in silence for a few seconds and then sat back down beside her, taking her hands in his and giving her a slight squeeze as a show of support.

"(Y/N), I know it's not my business and you're worried about your cousin, but Daeho is not a child anymore. You can't go through life trying to fix his mistakes. He knows what he's doing, and he should know the consequences behind it," he explained gently. She took a deep breath and cleared her throat, trying to dispel the knot that threatened to form.

"I know, Jungwoo, it's just that..." she paused to take a breath, "I'm all Daeho has. I'm the only person who genuinely cares about him. The least I can do is be there for him," she bit her lip.

"And there's nothing wrong with that, really. But you can't always be by his side, hoping he won't get into trouble. Daeho needs help, yes, but he needs it from a professional before his drug problem becomes a serious one," Jungwoo affirmed, letting go of her hands and putting his arm around her shoulders to give her a slight hug.

"Do you think I haven't mentioned that to him? He doesn't want to listen."

"There's not much you can do on your own, (Y/N)."

It was then that the girl preferred not to say anything and just accept the hug her friend was giving her; because she knew that as soon as she mentioned that she had made a deal with Jung Jaehyun so that he wouldn't sell anything to his cousin again, Jungwoo would surely go crazy.

So now she not only had to hide this from Daeho but also from her best friend.

It couldn't be that difficult, right?

___________________________________________

If there was another place Jaehyun hated besides Neo Zone, it would be the principal's office. He wouldn't have enough fingers and toes to count the number of times he found himself in that same position, sitting in a leather chair, with Principal Kim in front of him giving him a disapproving look.

"I can't do much this time, Jaehyun" the principal spoke and removed his glasses from his face to pinch the bridge of his nose with his fingers, "if you don't improve your grades, I'll have to expel you. I don't have any other excuse not to do it."

"But you have to do something" Jaehyun retorted, raising one of his eyebrows and crossing his arms, causing the principal to clear his throat and rest his glasses on his desk.

"Jaehyun, I can't keep covering up everything you do and don't improve even a little. The teachers don't want you here anymore, and if you don't raise your average, there's nothing I can do.

The boy sighed heavily and bit his lower lip. Then, the image of a Hwang came to his mind, and he smiled slightly.

"Don't worry, Principal Kim. For the next evaluations, you'll see my average clean," he explained with a smile.

"I'd like to know how will you do that?" the principal asked, incredulous.

"Studying, Principal Kim. How else would I do it?"

The principal chuckled and shook his head.

"You're warned, Jung. Now, leave my office and go study."

Without saying anything else, the boy got up from his seat and calmly left the principal's office, crossing the hallway until he reached the courtyard of his high school. He looked around, getting a couple of glances from some of his classmates, who surely weren't used to seeing him leave that office once again and as soon as his eyes located a person,

Jaehyun smiled.

He put his hands in the pockets of his jacket and walked towards the silhouette sitting under a tree, with at least five books around her and taking notes from each of them, and in which she must have been very concentrated not to feel the presence of the boy a few steps away from her. Hwang let out a heavy sigh and then cursed under her breath, dropping one of her books to the ground abruptly.

"Having a hard time, angel?" he teased while leaning against the tree behind her.

The girl quickly lifted her gaze to then look at him with annoyance and closed one of her books abruptly.

"Don't bother me Jaehyun. I have no interest in having a small talk with you right now," she said, rolling her eyes. "How do you expect me to finish all your assignments and mine before the week ends?" she asked, frustrated.

"Speaking of that, I expect a good grade on those assignments. The principal has already talked to me about kicking me out if I don't meet the average this evaluation," he said, shrugging.

"If only you bothered to study from time to time, you wouldn't have these problems," she retorted reading her notes.

"Why would I do that when I have you, sweet cheeks? Business are business, besides, I've been keeping my word" he said proudly. "How long has Daeho been clean?"

(Y/N) fell silent, thinking of a response, and answered, "almost two weeks, I believe so."

"Do you think it'll last much longer?' he asked again, and she shrugged.

"I hope so, he promised," she muttered without looking him in the eye. Jaehyun sighed and moved to sit next to her, an action that confused the girl, but she didn't comment, she simply let herself go.

A consumer's promises were the worst, and they both knew it. Despite the fact that Daeho didn't consider himself merely an addict... he was. In recent weeks, he was more often in a state of euphoria than sober, and the fact that his parents had been away for over a month was a perfect excuse to do so. Hwang feared for him and feared a lot. What Daeho saw as something harmless kept her in constant unease, because she knew that Daeho wouldn't stay clean for much longer, and there wouldn't be anything else she could do.

"At least you're the only dealer he trusts to buy from," she scoffed, shaking her head.

Jaehyun laughed softly. "You know that as soon as he feels the need, he won't only come to me. Abstinence tends to be difficult for a consumer."

"I know.'

"And what will you do? Offer more money?'

"I don't know, Jaehyun," she replied with a tired tone. "I don't know what to do with Daeho, I don't want him to end being a mess."

To the eyes of an outsider, that scenario could seem a bit funny; Hwang (Y/N) and Jung Jaehyun in the same place without wanting to pull each other's hair out, but if there was something that had caused that conversation in Neo Zone two weeks ago, it was that Jaehyun had managed to empathize at least a little with the girl. At the end of the day, all they both wanted was the best for their families.

They weren't so different in that sense, however, they didn't share anything else. They were simply acquaintances with a common purpose and nothing more.

"The evaluations are coming up, you know what that means?' he asked suddenly.

"What? do I have to do twice your assignments?" she replied with another question, and Jaehyun shook his head with a half-smile.

"Johnny's parties are also coming up, and it's something you should keep Daeho away from. You know his parties are not the healthiest and most innocent thing out there."

Johnny Suh was well known in high school for two reasons; first, because he was the son of one of the best real estate sellers in the city, making him one of the wealthiest kids in high school, and second, because of the study groups he organized near each midterms on one of his properties.

The study group that was nothing more than a facade for the big parties they really have. Every two months, students eagerly awaited that party because with Johnny Suh organizing them, how could not be the best? When it came to those parties, Johnny spared no expense, he would take one of his parents' properties, buy tons of alcohol, invite the dealers from Neo Zone, and didn't care if you were from the south or north, you were welcomed all the same because according to his own words: the more people attended, the better the fun.

And yes, it was something (Y/N) should be worried about, because Daeho could never miss one of those parties. Johnny Suh was within his circle of friends, so he wouldn't dare to let down one of his great friends, how could he?

"Cat got your tongue?" Jaehyun's voice caught her attention and she turned to look at him while exhaling deeply.

"No, Jaehyun, and I'm not in the mood for this."

"Oh, relax, angel" he spoke, raising his hands in defense "I was just mentioning Johnny's party, you know Daeho wouldn't miss it" Jaehyun continued trying to rile her up.

"Great timing for my uncles to return" she muttered, angrily gathering her things and putting them in her bag. She stood up abruptly and Jaehyun followed her.

"Hey, calm down, what's wrong?"

"Daeho's parents are coming back during midterms week and they'll surely having him running around here and there, enough reason for him to go to that damn party" she spat, starting to walk away from him with Jaehyun behind her "and as soon as Daeho stops being clean, I'll break our deal" she threatened, turning around to face him.

"You can't do it if I haven't done anything, you made the deal, you keep it" he said defensively. It wasn't the time for him to risk it and not deliver those high grades to Principal Kim.

"Yes, I can and I will, Jaehyun."

"We made a deal, you can't back down now. I'm already losing money because I'm not selling anything to Daeho".

"I can still write you a check down" (Y/N) said.

"I think I made myself clear when I told you that I didn't want your money".

Ding.

Before the boy could reproach and start an argument with (Y/N), his phone rang in his jacket and he took it out of his pocket to turn on the screen and read the text his friend had left him.

“Yukhei:

come to the garage, something happened.

10:30 am

Don't ask, just come.

10:30 am

I don't even know what happened

but they're furious.

10:31 am”

Jaehyun looked up at the sky, cursing under his breath and closing his eyes. He returned his gaze to the girl, who was now looking at him with confusion, and pointed at her with his index finger.

"I expect my assignments by the end of the week" he commented, turning around to walk away from the place and leaving a frustrated (Y/N) behind.

"Hey! Jung Jaehyun!" she called out loudly "You can't just leave me like this! Hey!”.

_____________________________________________

When he reached the garages, Jaehyun got out of his car, slamming the door shut, immediately drawing Lucas's attention. Lucas was sitting there smoking a joint, one leg propped against the wall and one hand in his pants pocket. Jaehyun approached his friend and took the cigarette from his lips, then took a drag himself.

"What the hell happened now?" he asked, exhaling smoke from his lungs and raising an eyebrow at Lucas. His friend sighed and straightened up.

"Jeno".

With the joint between his lips, Jaehyun's eyes widened, he tossed it to the ground, stomping on it, and quickly took a step forward, only to be stopped by his friend, who placed a hand on his chest. He looked at Lucas, not understanding and showing no expression, then listened to him speak.

"Before you go in there and cause a scene. I don't know what happened. Cheol Uk wouldn't tell me shit, he barely said something had happened with Jeno and they're waiting for you inside" the dark haired guy explained, lightly tapping his friend's chest.

Jaehyun's chest swelled after the deep drag he took. He closed his eyes for a moment and brought his fingers to the bridge of his nose, squeezing it slightly.

"Do you know if he's okay?" he asked, opening his eyes and met with a grimace on Lucas's face.

"Honestly, I don't know".

One of the garage doors opened, causing both boys to turn their heads towards it and seeing Cheol Uk coming out of it, nodding towards Jaehyun to enter, so the guy began walking towards there with Lucas behind him, who was immediately stopped by the guard who put his hand on the boy's chest: "I've been told that only Jaehyun can enter."

Jaehyun turned his head to give Lucas an affirmative look, who breathed deeply and stayed in his place. Jaehyun walked through the garage door, which closed seconds later, and headed towards where his boss was supposed to be.

His head was spinning, and only his brother's name ran through it. What the hell had he done this time?

He didn't even know if he was okay or where he could be, and that was eating him up anxiously.

Despite everything that could come out of Jeno's mouth and his rebellious behavior, as an older brother, Jaehyun worried a lot. Jeno was an important part of his life, and as soon as something happened to him, he wouldn't know what to do. He began playing with the ring on his hand as he continued his way, managing to hear a couple of shouts that he knew well, came from his boss; he clenched his jaw, he was right behind Lee Sooman's back, who, feeling a presence, turned halfway, face to face with the boy.

He approached dangerously. Jaehyun held his breath and suddenly, a burning sensation ran through his cheek, feeling his boss's palm hit him. Jaehyun didn't flinch, didn't complain, and simply did nothing.

He knew it was better that way..

He stayed in his place, straightened his posture, and continued to look ahead, but without making eye contact with Lee Sooman.

"Do you know what your brother's little joke has cost us?" the man asked with annoyance.

"No sir".

"A lot. Your brother is an idiot, he couldn't do something as simple as what I sent him to".

Jaehyun's body tensed, and this time, he made eye contact with his boss.

"What... do you mean you sent him to do something" unintentionally, the tone of his own voice rose, catching his boss's attention "I thought we had a deal, boss."

"Are you talking to me about deals, Jaehyun? Look, the kid came to me asking for a job, and I really admire your whole facade of wanting to feel like the responsible older brother who doesn't want anything to happen to his brother and blah, blah, blah" his boss spoke mockingly "but the boy isn't five years old, Jaehyun. It's time for him to be a grown-up, isn't it? Turn him into one, just like I did with you, right? Look at the man you are, boy".

He felt the falseness in his words, and the sound of his laughter irritated his ears, but again, he said nothing, he knew he shouldn't, and simply stayed in his place to continue listening to him.

"But Jeno and his idiot friends go and screw it up, and now it cost me money and a possible fight. Aish, they can't do anything right if you don't teach them" he muttered the latter.

The boy's brow furrowed and followed his boss's silhouette as he walked to his desk.

"A fight?"

"Yes, I sent them to leave some stuff at the train station, and they ran into Yellow Wood's guys, they stabbed one of the boys. Ah! Park will surely want to do the same" Lee Sooman sighed as he brought his hands to cover his face "and if that's not enough, the Yellow Wood guys stole the stuff, and believe me, they weren't just a few wones worth in drugs. There were a lot.

"Sir..."

"Don't try to cover for your brother, Jaehyun. He made a mistake, a big one, and now, who will pay for it? I'm sure Jeno won't."

"Excuse my brother, sir. I... will talk to him, for sure..."

"A talk won't solve my problem. I need my money, or what? Where do you expect me to get paid from? How do I pay my guys for their work? If there's no drugs, there's no money, and you know it, Jung."

"Sir, please let me do something. I... don't have the money right now. I'm paying for his medicine and..."

"Oh, Jaehyun, don't give me the same old story. Those damn medicines don't matter to me. I've helped you enough with that boy, and I know the whole story inside out and upside down."

Jaehyun's fist clenched at his sides, and he closed his

eyes for a moment, avoiding exploding right there.

"I'm sorry, sir. What do you want me to do?"

"You'll take double of the stuff on Friday when you pick it up. You'll have the weekend to sell it and deliver it to me by Monday, and let's see if you can teach that idiot brother of yours how to handle the business properly once and for all."

The boy's eyes widened, double of the stuff in one weekend? He had been struggling to make ends meet with his normal portion, and now he had to sell double in three damn days. If Jeno was okay right now, he surely wouldn't be after the scolding Jaehyun was going to give him.

"But sir, the business has been slow these days, and..."

"I don't care, Jaehyun. I don't give two shit about how you get that money, but I want all my stuff sold by next Monday, understood? If you don't deliver the money, there will be repercussions, and no, they won't be on you, Jaehyun. It's been Jeno with all this bullshit."

Without saying anything, he nodded. He supposed he would have to ask Johnny for a favor at his party; it was the only place he thought he could sell at least half of what he owed. As for the other half... he would figure out what to do with it later.

He watched as his boss pointed to the door with his hand, and Jaehyun obediently turned around to leave the place. The blood was rushing through his body, and he clenched his fists tighter and tighter as he moved.

His brother was such an idiot.

Not only had they lost the stuff, but they had also stabbed one of the Yellow Wood boys, and he knew they would come back looking to do the same. What guaranteed him that one of these days his brother wouldn't come back with a wound like that? He let out a sigh as he opened the garage door. He saw Lucas quickly approaching him, but he didn't pay the slightest attention to him because he was too busy storming towards his car with fury in his eyes.

His friend tried to stop him, but he couldn't, so he simply followed him. Both got into the car. Lucas heard the slam Jaehyun had given. He started the car without answering the questions the guy in the passenger seat was asking and drove off at speed towards his house. Lucas kept calling him, but it was in vain because Jaehyun could only think about how bad the conversation he had to have with his brother would go. The older boy's knuckles could be seen white from gripping the steering wheel, and he could hear him cursing every now and then. Lucas gave up and sighed as he leaned back in his seat; it was pointless to try to talk to Jaehyun when he was behaving like that, so he simply wouldn't bother anymore.

A few moments later, they were in front of the boy's house, where the older one quickly got out of the car, and Lucas continued his steps behind him.

"Jaehyun! What the fuck happened!?" Lucas shouted at his back, and again, he didn't receive an answer.

He aggressively entered the house, slightly alarming his mother, who was in the kitchen and, seeing the way her son had entered, left things and approached him.

"Where's Jeno?" he asked without preamble.

"What happened?" she asked, concerned.

"Where's Jeno?" he repeated, clenching his jaw.

"In his room" she didn't even finish speaking when Jaehyun was already walking towards the door, she turned worriedly to see the boy beside her and spoke: "Yukhei, what happened?"

Jaehyun opened the bedroom door with a bang and found Jeno sitting on his bed, with a bruise under his eye and his lip slightly open. The older brother exhaled deeply and approached his brother, who was already standing up and naturally, defensive.

"What the fuck do you think you did, Jeno? Huh?

"Stay out of my damn life, Jaehyun. I'm sick of it" Jeno spat as he walked towards him.

"Oh, are you sick of it?" Jaehyun asked "Wow, the little boy is tired of me only wanting what’s best for him" he said, feigning a pout "Do you know the stupid thing you and your friends did?" he questioned again as Jeno pushed him slightly with his shoulder and walked out of the room. Arriving in the living room, where Lucas was trying to distract their mother —"Not only did you lose the drugs, Jeno. You stabbed someone from Yellow Wood, do you think that's something funny to do?"

"What? Drugs?" Mrs. Jung asked confused.

"Shut up, Jaehyun" the younger one spoke through his teeth.

The boy looked at his mom and then at his friend, scoffed, and denied as he once again approached his brother: "Jeno went to Sooman to ask for a job" he confessed as his mother exclaimed in surprise "and now I have to answer for the stupid things your son did".

"Stop treating me like a damn kid!" Jeno exclaimed as he pushed him slightly, managing to anger the older one a little more.

"You want me to stop? Huh?"

"Jaehyun, Jeno. Enough" their mom intervened from her place, causing Jaehyun to turn to look at her and shake his head.

"No, Mom. Jeno doesn't want to be treated like a kid anymore? Fine. Does he want to ruin his life? Fine. If the boy is old enough to make decisions for himself and get into things he has no fucking idea about; let him. I don't give a shit anymore. I already have enough responsibility for this house as it is for him to come and add more".

Silence fell in the living room, with Jaehyun and Jeno staring directly at each other. With their mother leaning on Lucas, who was supporting her, and Jaehyun could only catch between his ears, the boys' accelerated breaths in front of them.

"You have no idea what you're getting into, Jeno. Do you think it's easy to go out there with that stuff and sell it like chocolates? What are you going to do when you don't meet the quota? Huh? Will you take responsibility and face the consequences? Ah, right. You're not a child anymore, and you don't need me. So if something happens... Don't you dare come running to me, because if you have the balls to get into this shit. You'll have the balls to solve your problems. Once you enter in this shitty hole, there's no way out" he ended slowly as Jeno widened his nostrils. He turned around and left the house with a bang, making his mother jump in her place, and with tears shining in her eyes, she moved away from Lucas to approach her older son.

"Jaehyun... "she murmured as her son enveloped her in his arms and hid his head in her chest "he's still my baby" she sobbed.

Jaehyun looked at his friend, who only gave him a sad smile and lightly patted his back, silently demonstrating the support he would always provide.

"I know, Mom. Jeno will be okay" he replied in a whisper as he stroked her hair and planted a kiss on the top of her head "I promise you that someday I'll get you out of here, even if I have to stay behind"

His mother raised her head to look into her son's eyes, and a tear rolled down her cheek: "Jaehyun, I can't take this anymore. You're my children, I don't want to see you both ruined, I can't" the boy choked up and once again caressed her hair.

"I'll get you out of here, someday I'll be able to do it, including him. I'll get all four of us out of here, I promise you".

His mom nodded with another tear running down her face and pressed her lips slightly. Jaehyun moved away from her and moved towards Lucas, to nod his head indicating that he should accompany him out of the house. Both boys walked in silence towards the door, where they were stopped after hearing the words that came out of Mrs. Jung's mouth.

"Don't end up like your father, Jaehyun."

The weight those words carried was something the boy couldn't believe.

Because that was something he wasn't sure he could promise.

______________________________________________

Once her uncles set foot in the city, it would be total chaos. It was something that (Y/N) knew, something she was aware of, which was why she simply hated the thought of it happening for two simple reasons: first, because then she would have to be even more attentive to her cousin and his possible impending collapse due to the pressure his parents put on him as soon as they arrived in the city.

And second, because their arrival meant a family dinner at her house; which had no other result than to talk once again about the future that awaited both of them and the vast comparisons their mothers loved to make between them, creating an endless discord: to see which family had more than the other, or to allude to who had a better present and future than the other.

At her ripe eighteen years, (T/N) never managed to understand the dynamics of her family. Were all families like hers? She didn't understand why her father and uncle had this constant competition between them; as brothers, it was the last thing they should have. Did money eventually turn you into such a person? Was it something that Daeho and she would become when they were responsible for the companies? She couldn't wrap her head around that scenario, the last thing she would want is for there to be some kind of conflict between them when they both needed each other, both had each other's backs, and both were the support for each other.

What a great family environment existed in that residence.

And if she could add a third reason: it was that she hated having to behave like the perfect daughter everyone expected her to be.

Coincidentally and to her own misfortune, the dinner at her parents' house was on the same night as Johnny Suh's party.

One more concern to her list.

With the faint reflections of the moon on her room and the gentle breeze coming through her large window, she gave one last careful look in her mirror, observing her figure wrapped in a black dress that ended just above her knee, a white and fluffy sweater that covered her from the coolness of the night, and her platform boots that complemented the style of the rest of her outfit.

She sighed... approached her dresser, picking up the first pair of earrings she saw to put them on her ears and let out another sigh. She never understood the formality of dinners at home, in the end, it was just her parents, her two uncles, Daeho, and herself who would end up sitting at the long dining table, but what she did know was that if she dared to come down with any outfit that didn't please her mother enough... she would instantly make her go back to change her clothes to something more suitable for her... or for them rather. Because according to her mother; you never know who the next person you might meet is.

Yes, even in her own home.

Where there wouldn't be more than six people.

She had tried multiple times to get in touch with Daeho since early in the morning, as soon as she had found out that her uncles' flight had arrived, however, he didn't answer her calls or text messages; which was enough to make (Y/N) nervously bite her nails. Something that had her tired, she was tired of living like this, worrying about everyone but herself, but if she didn't worry about her cousin the way she did, who would?

She was well aware that Daeho was not a child of five years to be in charge of, but sometimes she felt like he was. With the little attention he received from his parents and all the attachment and emotional dependence he had developed towards his cousin, (Y/N) had no choice but to fulfill that role, but... how much more would it consume of her?

She was grateful to have Kim Jungwoo in her life; the only sincere friend who had crossed her path. False friendships that could arise around her were no surprise to the girl: status was everything. If you wanted people to see you well, recognize you for something, and not sideline you, you had to hang out with people of your same level. (Y/N) tried to remember all those times she tried to create friendships, but ones that were sincere, each of those times ended in a failed attempt when she realized that people didn't really care about her but the great dollar sign that pursued her as if it were an ornament.

What a fake life.

That's why the affection she had for Jungwoo was immense. The only person who gave herself the opportunity to get to know her without judging her, the only person with whom she didn't have to maintain a whole facade.

She hated pretending; everyone thought she was perfect, that her life was perfect, the presentation she always carried was perfect, they even thought her family was perfect; she had spent the last few years of her life trying to keep up appearances, continuing with the facade that her parents and uncles had created and if Daeho screwed up, it all fell on her, because she was the one who had to fix it, because she was the one who had to assure everyone that everything was fine in her family... because if she let her guard down and showed her reality; the dream world that the Hwang family had invested so much in pretending would come crashing down like a freshly kicked sandcastle.

And so, seconds turned into minutes and minutes into hours and when she least expected it, she found herself uncomfortably seated between her mother and Daeho, with a plate of food that, for the moment, didn't look appetizing at all and with her leg bouncing slightly from the anxiety emanating from feeling the tense atmosphere she was wrapped in.

Her mind was elsewhere. The last thing her ears had captured was the conversation her uncle had created about his recent trip to New York, where he had signed a couple of agreements and where... she couldn't remember anything else.

It reminded her a lot of her childhood, where they would both sit for hours beside their parents listening to them talk about business, money, agreements, and a thousand things that at her age they wouldn't understand but that according to their parents, getting involved from an early age in the world they lived in would help them shape their future.

In a way, she felt like her childhood had been stolen. Instead of being able to go out to the huge yard of her house to play like any normal child, she had to stay inside to attend one of her mother's arranged classes for her. Instead of listening to a story that her father had to tell her before going to sleep, she found herself with the stories he told her about "how he became the successful businessman he was and how she had to do the same" or the times when they always wanted to include her in the adult world when she was barely in elementary school.

But she never complained... at least she had a family and a roof over her head, she convinced herself of the luck she had of being born into the family she had... a total privilege.

When she lifted her eyes from the fixed point they had been pinned to, she could notice out of the corner of her eye how Daeho simply limited himself to eating in silence, nodding from time to time and feigning a smile here and there, moving his cutlery slightly and taking small bites of his food.

At least she wasn't the only anxious person at the table.

Her gaze lifted when her name came out of her mother's mouth, who was watching her expectantly with a smirk: “Isn't that right, sweetheart?” her mother inquired.

“Hmm, excuse me?” she questioned with a small voice as the adults' gazes were fixed on her.

“Oh, sweetheart, it's disrespectful not to pay attention to the matters discussed at the table” her mother gave her a fake smile that simply made the girl change her gaze to her hands resting on her lap and tilt her head in apology, causing her mother to let out a snort that was only heard by her “Your uncles and we have been talking about the fact that Daeho and you are about to graduate, we believe it's time to start looking at which universities you'll get into” her mother explained, staring at her intently “although, personally, your father and I have had this whole life plan we created for you since you were seven, remember we talked about studying abroad?

“Oh! We also want our Dae to study abroad! We had thought about Oxford! Isn't that right, honey?”Daeho's mother spoke with enthusiasm addressing her husband, who only smiled as he nodded.

(Y/N) and Daeho shared glances for a couple of seconds, precipitating what was to come, and smiled sadly at each other.

“Umh, mom? I don't think this is something we should discuss right now... there's still a little time before we graduate. I don't think it's a... necessary topic right now...”

The girl was interrupted by a gasp from her mother, who looked slightly offended and placed a hand on her chest, shaking her head from side to side.

“You say there's still time? (Y/N), you graduate in a year, do you think that's little time? We should start looking at universities, especially if we want to send you abroad.”

Taking a breath in surprise, she spoke: “Mom, abroad?” the girl let out a sigh “I don't think it's necessary, I mean... Seoul has incredible universities and curriculums, it's not necessary to go far from home...”

“Seoul?” her mother asked incredulously “Do you think I, your mother, will send you to some mediocre university in Seoul? You must be crazy if you think you'll end up at any of those universities” she continued with contempt “You, miss, will get into an Ivy League university, like your father and uncle did and there’s no other way.”

The table fell into a small silence, where only the looks of Mrs. Hwang and (Y/N) were shared intensely, when slightly the voice of Daeho's mother was heard:

“Well, we also have to see if she's capable of passing the exams first, don't we?” she said quietly before delicately wiping her lips with the cloth napkin on her lap.

The gaze of (Y/N)'s mother abruptly changed to the other woman, who only smiled sideways in a mocking tone and feeling her cousin's body tense beside her, the girl's anxiety shot up a thousand miles per hour anticipating what was to come.

“What did you just say?”

“I think you heard me right, sweetheart. We must see if my niece really has the ability to pass exams as important as those of the Ivy League, because believe me, dear” she changed her view to the girl “it's not just going, sitting down, and looking pretty as you've done all these years.

It felt like a punch… right into her face.

Was it really like that? Did her appearance speak more than the effort she had put into her work for so long?

Was that how they really perceived her?

She knew she had much more to offer... why were they reducing her to just that? She was dedicated, she was responsible... wasn't all her effort worth it?

Wasn't it enough?

“I think you're the least qualified person to talk about children, Eunji” (Y/N)'s mother attacked “Daeho is no delicate flower, the disaster he is when you don't pay attention to him...”

The eyes of the mentioned boy widened and immediately (Y/N) dropped her hands on her table and got up from her seat.

“Mom! Stop this” the girl exclaimed.

“Do you think I'm going to let this woman come to my house to talk about you and my family like that, when we welcomed her with open arms?” her mother reproached, standing in front of her.

“You don't have any right to talk about mine either” now Eunji joined the conversation.

“Oh, come on, Eunji, stop being so blind and realize the kind of son you have.”

Daeho didn't need to be there anymore, which was why he fleetingly got up from his seat and without saying more, left the house with more haste than his cousin had ever seen. (Y/N) dropped her cloth napkin on the table with noticeable annoyance to try to go after her cousin, it was when her mother took her by the arm, squeezing firmly.

“Don't you dare set foot outside this house.”

She didn't know if it was the anger running through her veins or the tiredness of always wanting to do what her mother thought was right; but she didn't need to think twice when without looking back she went out the large door of her house, taking the keys to her car on the way. Her throat felt weird, she didn't want to waste a single tear. She shouldn't. With her hands slightly trembling and biting her lip, she took her cell phone and pressed a couple of numbers on it, waiting for the other line to answer.

With heavy breaths and sitting in the driver's seat of her car, she listened to the rings her phone produced and when she finally heard a response, she spoke quickly:

“Jungwoo, I'm sorry for calling late, but there’s a party we need to go”.

_____________________________________________

The scenario in which Jung Jaehyun found himself was not unfamiliar to him. His ears had been ringing from a few meters away before he arrived at one of the Suh residences; with Wong Lucas by his side and stepping out of his own car: a BMW M2, a car that he had won from a rich kid in one of his many bets a few months ago, thanks to his luck and his driving skills.

And since then, it had become his favorite car. Luckily, he could occasionally take it to his friend Taeyong's workshop to make some adjustments and add a couple of details to make the car even better.

Entering the mansion, he could see some familiar faces a few meters away from him. Some greeted him warmly as their dealer was just entering, while others tried to avoid him like the plague. Either way, Jaehyun didn't care how they looked at him.

He came with a single purpose in mind.

It was incredible to see how much someone like Johnny Suh could invest in one of his parties: it was crazy to see how he splurged everything for a simple night. However, that was his perfect hook for his businesses, and if he had to give double the money to Sooman by Monday, he had to get started right away.

Without exchanging a single word with Lucas and lightly taking him by the arm, he brought him closer to the wall; from his pocket, he took out a couple of small bags and immediately handed them to his friend, who only nodded, understanding everything and putting what Jaehyun had given him into the pockets of his jacket. They hugged with a quick pat on the back, and again, without saying anything, they separated.

Observing the environment cautiously, Jaehyun went into the luxurious house, trying to blend in with the people there. His ears were still ringing, and the smell of marijuana reached his nose. He inhaled subtly and relaxed his posture when Johnny Suh's figure stood in front of him.

"Jung Jaehyun!" the guy exclaimed, opening his arms. "Welcome to the Suh residence, my favorite dealer. What do you have for me this wonderful night?" he asked curiously while waving his hands.

Jaehyun put his hand in his pocket and carefully showed him the contents he had there, causing Johnny to smile ecstatically.

"Half or an ounce?" Jaehyun asked, putting the small bag back into his jacket.

"An ounce, my friend."

Friend, surely.

"You know how much it is," Jaehyun said as he took out the small bag again and placed it in the guy's hand, receiving a 50,000 won bill in his other hand in return. "Dude, I don't have any change with me," he warned.

"What are you talking about, Jae? Keep the change and enjoy the night. The drinks are by the kitchen, take whatever you want, and if you happen to go up to any of the rooms, don't forget to lock it," he patted his chest with a wink from his eye and left his sight without saying more.

Even with a bit of evident surprise on his face, he tucked the bill into his wallet and continued on his way; it would be a long night, so why not have a little fun while selling all his stuff?

He didn't know at what exact moment his first drink of the night ended, nor did he know at what moment he found himself among a circle of people who had bought at least a quarter of what he needed to sell, nor did he know at what moment his hand ended up on the waist of a girl who was looking at him while batting her eyelashes at him.

He knew better than anyone that it wasn't time to get drunk, especially with the heavy merchandise he was carrying with him, but how good it felt the slight dizziness that passed through his head, the weed made him momentarily forget everything. When he was younger, he had sworn he wouldn't fall into alcohol so easily, but it was a temptation that was hard to resist, and eventually, weed also helped. For a moment, he could be himself and forget everything at home, in his neighborhood, at work.

But how hard it was when all that effect wore off and he became simply Jaehyun again, the number one dealer of Neo Zone.

His eyes momentarily diverted from the girl in front of him, watching as at the back of the room there was a Yellow Wood guy; one of the gang his brother had gotten into trouble with, selling a package similar to the ones he was selling to none other than Hwang Daeho.

He didn't know what had come over him because clearly it wasn't his problem, but slowly he left the small group he was in, hearing behind him how the girl he had spent the whole night with called him while he ignored her, heading towards the two young men.

"Hey, Chris," Jaehyun greeted with a serious expression. "Don't worry, I'll take care of this guy."

"Oh, Jung, don't get involved when I'm finishing a deal," the mentioned one responded as he pocketed the bills Daeho had given me. "Don't think we've forgotten about the little show your brother and his friends put on a couple of months ago on the train tracks."

He clenched his jaw and could feel Daeho tense beside him. "It's not like I'm going to forget that you're dealing and doing business in Neo Zone territory either, go back to your city and sell there," the tattooed guy explained as he dangerously approached him.

"Look, Jung, the last thing I want tonight is a fight, so stop getting in my way," Chris replied as he walked away from the guys.

When they were alone, Jaehyun stood in front of Daeho and stretching out his hand, he spoke: "Give me what he sold you."

It wasn't his problem, so why was he doing this? He hadn't sold him anything, so he hadn't broken any deal.

Was alcohol playing tricks on him, making (Y/N)'s face appear in his mind? Daeho looked at him without understanding what he was asking for, and that was enough for Jaehyun to let out a heavy sigh to repeat: "Give me any crap that idiot sold you."

"Look, Jaehyun, I don't know what's going on, and if this has to do with buying from someone outside your area, I'm sorry, but dude, you haven't wanted to sell me anything in the last few weeks, and I can't go a single damn day without getting something else," Daeho explained, putting the package away in his bag and refusing to comply with what Jaehyun had just asked.

"I don't give a damn that you can't keep your damn body clean, but apparently, your cousin does care, so give me that," he demanded again.

"What does (Y/N) have to do with all this? Are you fucking her or something?" asked the boy in front of him with annoyance, and now that he paid attention, his eyes were slightly bloodshot.

He didn't have time to deal with a junkie right now.

"Go ahead, champ. Go keep putting that crap into your body, I don't want you crossing paths with me all night," Jaehyun requested, touching the bridge of his nose, feeling Daehyuk getting closer to him.

That guy had courage out of nowhere.

And that's what a substance can do for you.

"I remind you that you're no better than me, you consume it and sell it."

Daeho stepped away from him, leaving him alone and causing him to clench his fist. He was tired, tired of remembering every minute of his life how messed up it was. Did he have another option? No, he didn't have any other option, right now, it was either to sell all that heaviness in the pockets of his jacket or risk ending up on Monday with a beaten body and having to hide it from his mother.

The night was still young, and he had to end up with those empty pockets. He just hoped Lucas was doing his part correctly.

____________________________________________

Jungwoo was next to (Y/N); it had been a while since he and his friend went out partying, and although clearly, she wasn't there to have fun, she wanted to make the most of the night.

The girl next to him scanned the room for any sign of her cousin, but there was no trace of him. The familiar faces of her classmates ran through her mind, and she was starting to feel overwhelmed.

"(Y/N), I know you're worried about your cousin and all that," heard her best friend's voice above the music, "but I also know you need to have some fun. Why don't we do that? It's been a while since we've been to a party; we should make the most of it, and then later, you can kick Daeho's ass."

"I don't know, Woo."

"Look, the same pressure Daeho says he feels is the same pressure your parents put on you, and after the scene they made today at dinner? Don't you think you deserve a break?"

Jungwoo approached the table where a couple of drinks were, quickly preparing a paloma for his friend and handing it to her after finishing it.

"Let's enjoy the night, break away from your home, and be yourself. Not the girl your parents expect you to be, not the girl your business expects you to be. Just the teenager you are now, just that." The girl, although not very convinced, nodded and then took a sip of her drink, feeling that Jungwoo had put more alcohol than soda in it. The boy laughed at his friend's reaction and hugged her by the shoulders.

"Alright, let's have fun tonight."

(Y/N) had never been a big fan of alcohol, especially beer. If she occasionally enjoyed a drink, it was usually some kind of elegant wine that her father had in the mini wine cellar at home; some kind of Cabernet Sauvignon or Pinot Grigio... however, tonight, the acidity that ran down her throat every time she took a sip of her commercial beer was a feeling of ecstasy.

She didn't know if it was because Jungwoo's words were really resonating in the back of her head, where she remembered that, right now, what she needed to do was relax and distance herself from her family. Because she deserved it. So she wasn't sure when she lost sight of her best friend during the night, maybe it was sometime around eleven or twelve at night when Jungwoo left her side; nor was she sure when her head started to feel light after the third beer, but she was sure she was starting to lose count.

Normally, it was always Jungwoo and (Y/N), stuck side by side and never separating, which is why, at that moment, it was strange to see the girl around classmates, with whom she rarely engaged in conversation, but she truly didn't care in the state she was in, because she was having a good time, and especially because a nice guy, whom she didn't recognize, was making her laugh like she hadn't in a long time.

Her phone felt heavy in the small bag she was carrying, especially because she was aware of the numerous calls and messages she had been ignoring from her mother since she had arrived at the Suh residence, and although she knew she should answer those calls, she firmly believed that she didn't want to deal with her and her father.

For now, she just wanted to be a girl having fun and forgetting about everything else.

The image of Daeho had been temporarily erased from her mind a while ago, but at some point in her night, the doubt of whether Jung Jaehyun had attended the party had arisen.

Still, she couldn't see him.

Amidst all the numbness her mind was going through, she didn't notice when subtly the guy she had been talking to for an hour moved her away from the group of people they were with. Chris, she remembered his name, had a slight grip on her waist; something she hadn't paid the slightest attention to.

"Why are we moving away?" (Y/N) asked in a sleepy voice, letting herself be guided by the steps the guy took.

"Oh, I just thought it would be good if we moved away a bit to talk more. You know, we can get to know each other a little better," the guy responded, causing the girl to overlook the hint of malice that came out of his mouth.

"But we were fine with the others," she dragged her words as she tried to move away from Chris's grip on her body. "Where's Jungwoo?" she asked when her inner alarm went off.

"He must be around here somewhere, don't worry; we'll look for him later," he replied as he gently brought his lips to the girl's ear and then moved them to her jawline. "Let's have a good time for now."

A light kiss was planted there, and it was then that her senses returned coldly, and all the dizziness she had previously experienced disappeared slightly; putting her hands on the guy's chest to push him away abruptly.

"No, I don't want to look for him later. I want to go with Jungwoo now," the girl demanded after her failed attempt to push him away.

"Calm down, Hwang. You've been practically all over me all night; it's not time to start playing hard to get, is it?"

"What are you talking about, idiot?" she questioned sharply and tried to push him again; she looked into his eyes with anger and could see in them the way they were droopy, slightly bloodshot, and that's when she could gather who this guy was and what he did with his lif “let go of me now or...”

"Or what? Stop pretending to be a fucking innocent; it doesn't suit you," he said as he, again, brought his mouth to the girl's neck.

And surprised by the strength she found in that moment, with a strong push and after struggling, she was able to push him far enough to release a punch that went straight to his jaw.

"You damn bitch," the guy spat, letting go of her and grabbing her face.

"That would be the last time you touch me, and get that if a girl says no, it's because she means no."

"You'll regret it, you fucking bitch."

With her heart pounding in her chest and her mind still accompanied by a slight dizziness, she began to move away from the guy and the dark hallway she was in. It was difficult to walk when her legs felt shaky from the scene she had been involved in; she scolded herself mentally for drinking the amount of alcohol she had drunk, knowing well her low tolerance to it.

She looked for Jungwoo with her eyes, and it was difficult to find him when her vision was blurry. She wanted to get out of there. She wanted to do it now.

What an idiot Chris had been. She hated it when men looked for things that weren't there. She had never hinted that she wanted anything, nor that she wanted to get away from the group. She felt dirty to remember where his hands had been. How his fingerprints felt on her skin and how she wanted to hit him again in his stupid face.

She felt something strange in her chest, she didn't know how to explain it; it was a combination of anger and vulnerability she was experiencing. The slight distress she felt there could be noticed on her face, surrounded by so many people under the effects of who knows what substance, feeling her body reacting slowly and not knowing where the hell Jungwoo had gone.

When she felt a hand on her arm, stopping her steps, she feared it was Chris, who had gone after her. And with her breath caught in her throat, she turned around to find a pair of eyes that took her by surprise.

"Hey, are you okay, Angel?"

She thought it was the first time she was glad to see Jaehyun.

It wasn't weird seeing Jaehyun in Johnny's house, she knew he's use to come to this parties at the end his presence was required if her classmates wanted to have a good time. What it was weird to her a that in the last two weeks he has seen Jaehyun more often that her own cousin, that always seemed to have an excuse to avoid her.

She didn’t know if it was of the dizziness she was feeling or what, but Jung Jaehyun looked good. All dressed up in black leather, with his neck tattoo decorating his body and his pulled hair back. She must be really fucked up if she was thinking in how hot Jaehyun looked.

But that wasn’t the case right now, she needed someone because she couldn’t trust herself in that state.

And right now, among all the people inside the residence and adding that Jungwoo was nowhere to be found, Jaehyun was the only person she could rely on.

Could she really?

She thought there wasn't much difference between Chris and Jaehyun. In the end, they both did the same thing. Sure, in different areas, but their lives revolved around similar things; situations, people, experiences.

"I... I don't know where Jungwoo is," she clumsily said.

In her voice, Jaehyun could notice the slight clumsiness in tone, realizing that the girl had been drinking, approaching her delicately, now he could see the expression of concern on her face.

"And then that idiot of Chris," she continued with a disgusted face, and upon hearing the mention, Jaehyun defensively turned to look at her.

"Has Chris approached you? Was it something about Daeho?" he asked quickly.

(Y/N) nervously bit her lip to avoid the boy's gaze and again put her gaze on the hall where they were.

Where the hell was Jungwoo?

"Shit," the girl blurted out when she realized, "Chris sold something to Daeho, didn't he?" Seeing the expression on the boy's face, she knew the answer. "Damn it, I'm so sick of this," she said as she put her hands on her head. Her breathing quickened, and she felt her hands trembling. "What the hell do I have to do for Daeho to stop this nonsense? I came here to find him, and then Jungwoo thought it would be a good idea to have fun," she spoke quickly, causing Jaehyun to only catch a few words. "I'm sick of my mom and my aunt arguing about which family is better, then Jungwoo disappears, and the stupid of Chris tries something with me”.

"What? Has he done something to you?" Jaehyun asked, surprised.

"What's the point of having this damn deal with you?" she ignored the boy's words and continued, "I know you told me that Daeho would find another dealer as soon as he wanted to use again, but I had hoped he wouldn't. Now I'm overwhelmed with my tasks and yours, that damn report I have to submit in four days, and my mind is stuck. I don't know what else to do to keep everything at one hundred percent, when I'm not even at five percent," she confessed without thinking, and when she realized what she had done, she lowered her gaze. "Sorry, I know you're not someone who cares about this."

She turned around without letting the boy say anything, and after walking a bit, she heard behind her:

"Come on, I'll take you home."

Her brow furrowed, and she turned to face the boy, confused, she asked, "Huh?"

"It seems like you've been drinking a bit too much, and Jungwoo is nowhere to be found, I'll take you home, even if your car is parked around, I don't think it's wise to drive like this."

"What about you?"

"I stopped drinking two hours ago," the boy replied simply, "let's go."

When Jaehyun started walking, (Y/N)'s steps became almost automatic; without thinking about where she was going or with whom, they only followed the silhouette of the boy in front of her without a word.

Perhaps a few seconds later, when she noticed she was in front of Jaehyun's BMW, her mind questioned what she was doing.

She hadn't made wise decisions tonight.

With her hand hesitating on the door handle, debating her actions and whether she should get into the car or not, with her senses heightened knowing it was Jung Jaehyun who, presumably, would take her home, and with the same, already inside the car, waiting for her to react and finally make up her mind; her body trembled.

The music from the residence still echoed in her ears, yet above it, she could hear Jaehyun calling her from inside... and then, without further thought; she got into the car.

The car, to her surprise, looked clean; the scent she could perceive from it was odd... like a combination of marijuana and vanilla, in smoky tones... and now that she thought about it of the few times she managed to be close to Jaehyun, that was the same smell she perceived, and she couldn't help but think it was a pleasant smell. Odd but pleasant.

Jaehyun knew where the Hwang residence was, he had been close once when he had to make some deliveries in that area; that's why he didn't need to ask the girl for any directions, besides he didn't feel like having a chat, especially with someone he doubted was in their right mind.

The first few minutes were silent, she could hear (Y/N)'s soft breathing above the sounds of his own car, and he hoped the rest of the journey would be like that; until she decided to speak: “do you use as well?”

Jaehyun was taken back for the sudden question and the he shook his head. “Sometimes I smoke weed, but that the only thing I use. I don’t like other shit, I might not be the greatest person but I appreciate my body” he said jockingly. It was weird seeing Jaehyun joking with her. “But really, weed is the only thing I like.”

“Doesn’t make you an addict?” she questions again.

“Don’t think so” he answers. “I don’t do it often. Only when I’m really stressed about something, I can control myself” he says and she stayed quiet for a couple of minutes.

“What's next for you?" She asked out of sudden again, making Jaehyun furrow his eyebrows while he kept looking at the road.

"What do you mean?" Jaehyun asked without looking at her.

"It's the last year of school, do you know what's next for you?" (Y/N) asked again this time she stop looking at the window and she put his gaze in him.

Jaehyun scoffed "Do you really want to know?"

Did he really wanted to answer?

This is the longest talk they have ever had.

"I mean... I guess so"

The boy hated thinking about future. And now he hated even more because some preppy girl had to ask about it.

"I don't know" he said. "I don't think about future a lot if I'm honest" he didn't know why he answer though. He could just not say nothing if he wanted to.

"But you should" (Y/N) commented. "College is just around corner and there's a lot of options you should look up".

Jaehyun let out a laughter that left (Y/N) confused. Was he laughing at her? She tilted her head, she didn't know what was so funny.

"College isn't an option for me" he said as he stopped in a red light and then he moved his head so he could look at her. He didn't know why he was telling all of this. "There's no next for me after high school"

"You can't be serious" she mumbled. "There most be and option that can suit you"

"You don't know shit" he said and that alone made (Y/N) move in her sit a little bit uncomfortable.

"No, I might not but if you say that there's no other option for you... then I'm sorry, Jaehyun, I think I have to end the deal with you."

When Jaehyun abruptly stopped the car, he was glad that there was a red light at the traffic signal.

"What?"

"I'm tired of trying to help Daeho when he doesn't want to be helped," she confessed without even looking at him, "and... I think it's time to focus on me. It's too much work. Yours... mine... if I want to keep good grades, my assignments alone are enough, and if you don't have an interest in making something good for you, then I'll stop helping you out as well".

Jaehyun shook his head: "No, but I need your help. I can't fail. I can't be kicked out of school."

"I don't understand, Jaehyun," she said, changing her gaze from the street to the boy's eyes, "I don't understand why all this fuss about not being able to be kicked out of school if it’s because you don't want to ruin your business, not because you genuinely want to be better in your school life. You said it yourself, college isn't an option for you so, if this is only about your work I don't want to be involved or have any influence in something that is not legal".

Jaehyun's hands tensed on the steering wheel.

"You don't need to understand," he said as he moved forward at the green light, "they can't kick me out of school," he repeated firmly.

"Well, I'm sorry, Jaehyun. I made the decision. I appreciate the weeks when you didn't sell anything to Daeho, but even so, he finds a way to consume. It's not your fault. And I finally realized it's not my fault either. I also appreciate you taking me home, but after tonight, you'll go your way and I'll go mine."

"So you're okay with me being kicked out?" He asked with a side smile.

"We're not friends, Jaehyun" she stated. "We were just helping each other out. But if my cousin doesn't want to be helped, I don't need your help neither. I’m sorry if you needed mine but I can’t keep up with this anymore. Being involved with you was dangerous enough and I think it’s for the better"

It hadn't been long since the damn deal had taken place, but inside Jaehyun, he liked having an occasional interaction with the girl, especially if it was to annoy her... he found it funny every time she wrinkled her nose when she was upset with him or the way she tenderly rolled her eyes after he made a silly comment on purpose.

He might got used to her a little.

"I knew you rich kids weren’t faithful to your word" he said. "I guess I can't force you to anything," Jaehyun let out a sigh.

Another fifteen minutes passed in complete silence, with some discomfort on both sides. (Y/N) looking anywhere out of the windows but not putting her gaze on Jaehyun, and the boy was focused on the wheel.

Anyone who saw the scene would laugh to see two people as different as Hwang (Y/N) and Jung Jaehyun in the same car.

She was sure Jungwoo would laugh if he saw them.

Of course, after she kicked him a few times for leaving her.

She didn't notice precisely when they were entering her residence; it wasn't until the car stopped abruptly, and she could see through the window the immense house in front of them.

It was more appealing to stay in that car with the dealer than to deal with her mother.

"I guess it's time for me to go," (T/N) said, grabbing the car handle, "Thank you... Jaehyun... for bringing me, and I'm sorry I can't help you with your work anymore... but I can't do it."

The boy smiled slightly and adjusted his jacket as he shook his head.

"Take care, Angel," Jaehyun said and then said no more.

Jaehyun hadn't been a bad guy to her during the time they had agreed on the deal, however... for her own good; she hoped they wouldn't cross paths again, like it was before the start of the deal.

Jung Jaehyun was a dealer from the Neo Zone, and she had an image to uphold, that's why it was better for each to take their place.

But what was that she felt when she got out of the car and saw Jaehyun leave without even looking at her one last time?

a/n: taglist is open! thank you for reading! wait 4 the next chapter!

there’s a mention of Winwin, what could have happened to him?:0 idk, you might found in the next chapter, who knows?;)) I hope you liking this so far, sorry but I’m more into longer chapter than short ones. Love ya! Oh I’m also posting a Taeyong au later so check it out!

taglist: @gojoscumslut @bluedbliss s @dear-97 @girlwholoveslpreppyattire @hana-off-icial

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starlightnorris · 10 months

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unanswered questions - charles leclerc

synopsis: the one where you run into your first love and there's a ton of unanswered question and a whole lot of feelings there.

word count: 1k

read part two

they say you never truly get over your first love. you believed them for a while, the first year or so after charles broke up with you, you were a mess. everything reminded you of him, from the places you used to go together, to the simplicity of seeing a car on the street. and it shouldn’t have hurt so bad, you were just teenagers, young love is always bound to crash and burn, but that first year was brutal.

but eventually you got over it. you moved to new york city to go to university, at some point meeting the person you wanted to spend your life with. it was funny, just how quickly your perception of everything changed. one day, it was you and charles together, only teenagers, but making small comments about the future. and you had believed that the two of you would end up together, but people change, plans change, and eventually, you move on.

there wasn’t a moment that you could identify that “ruined” your relationship with charles. it was just two people moving on from something that was once so real. it was weird to think about it now, you were 25 and that was nearly a decade ago. but there was always that nagging thought in the back of your mind that kept saying that if it could happen with charles, it could happen with justin. there didn’t have to be a big moment, one day he would just come to you and say that he didn’t feel the same anymore.

justin was lovely. talking about the future with him genuinely made you excited, but there was still a part of you that wondered what charles was like now. sure, you saw him on tv, and you still kept up with races, something your boyfriend took notice in. but he just thought you loved formula one, he didn’t know about the Ferrari driver who had once held your heart in his hands. but you didn’t know the charles of today. he seemed different, but he also seemed like the same boy you were in love with all those years ago. but that didn’t matter now, you’d moved on, even if your heart still yearned to know him.

---

“i think we should go out tonight,” justin says one day. it’s a friday, the two of you are already off work, both having left earlier than normal. “there’s a new restaurant i’ve been wanting to try.”

“yeah, that would be great,” you say, a soft smile on your face as he walks over to press a kiss to your forehead before the two of you start to get ready for the night.

you’re walking hand in hand down the street, a slight breeze in the air as you take in the area around you. moving from monaco to new york city was a big difference for you, being a place that was so small to a city that was constantly filled with so many people. but you loved it here, you loved to anonymity of being in the big city. monte carlo was too small, and when you were dating charles, people took notice of the two of you as it was becoming more clear that he was fully on his way to formula one.

but you didn’t want to think about that today. you were here with justin and as if he could hear your thoughts, he looks down at you, a soft smile playing on his lips as he looks at you. you could get lost in that smile and the way his gaze is so soft as he looks at you, so much love and adoration in the look. and it only takes you running into someone to take your eyes away from him.

justin makes sure to steady you and you mutter a “shit, i’m so sorry,” before looking up to see who you ran into. and you know that moment in the romance movies where two people look at each other and everything around them stops.

that’s exactly what happened when you saw charles in front of you. everything around you seemed to stop. you were in new york city, a place that was constantly busy and alive, and all you could do was stare at the man in front of you. you’d imagined what he’d look like if you saw him up close again, were there any marks on his skin that you couldn’t see through a screen? were his eyes soft in the same way that they were when you were teenagers?

“holy shit, you’re charles leclerc,” you hear justin say from beside you, but your eyes still rest on charles, and you can tell from the look on his face that he knows exactly who you are. it takes him a moment to tear his eyes from you before they move to your boyfriend and then down to where the two of you are holding hands and you catch a flicker of something… regret, maybe? but no, he broke up with you. he had full control in that situation, he doesn’t deserve to have any regrets.

“uh, yeah,” charles mutters, his eyes snapping back up to your boyfriend. “yeah, i am.”

they chat for a moment, but you don’t hear a single word, especially when his eyes keep moving to where you are standing, a lifetime of questions swirling in his eyes. “it was nice to meet you both,” charles says after a bit, and his eyes linger on you for a moment too long, and you want him to say something. you want to take the time to talk about almost a decade of distance between you, but he gives you a small smile, continuing to walk in the direction that he was heading.

“that was so cool,” justin says, a starstruck look on his face as he looks back at you. “i can’t believe we just ran into him.”

“yeah,” you say, but your heart’s not in it. instead, you’re thinking about years of unanswered questions with charles. you’re thinking about all the things you never got to say, and you’re thinking about why the hell your heart is beating so fast for a man you don’t even really know.

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #formula 1 #formula one #f1 imagine

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pagannatural · 3 months

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1.20

Dead Man’s Blood

-Dean offers to drive to ny so that Sam can see Sarah (the art dealer) again and Sam shuts that shit down right away. Dean only encourages Sam to have Dean-sanctioned relationships and sex. Dean’s Freudian nonsense is that he likes to pressure Sam into being involved with women, be certain that he’s the reason Sam is doing it, and then convince himself it’s good for Sam. I don’t think there’s anything malicious in this pattern, I think Dean is just operating at a high level of cognitive dissonance and avoids question his own motivations and feelings.

-Dean manhandles Sam away from John, de-escalating, then things escalate again and Sam and John grab at each other and it looks like they’re going to fight so Dean changes tactics. He forces them apart and puts himself physically in front of Sam, telling John to back off. First he tries to get Sam away, then he stands in front of him to protect him and waits until John walks away.

And now seems like a good time to talk about the fact that John was probably violent when they were kids. They don’t seem particularly scared of him, and they seem all to genuinely love each other and be able to find moments of ease and humor, so it was probably more a violence born of dysfunction than systematic abuse. There’s enough evidence for this that it’s safe to assume. For example, John says “I stopped being your father and I became your drill sergeant,” and he’s a vet, so he probably means that pretty literally and that in itself is a brutal way to treat children. In season 6, when Dean is explicitly trying not be become his father but falling more and more into re-enacting John’s behaviors, he slaps Ben across the face to try getting him out of shock. In s7 teenage Sam says that his dad has a temper and you wouldn’t want to see him after he’s been drinking. And then of course there’s this scene.

Neither Sam nor John see Dean’s diffusion of the situation as unusual. He’s done it before. Dean’s primary order is to look after Sammy. So I can’t really see him letting John get escalated with Sam, especially with how comfortable Sam is with Dean protecting him.

As codependent as Dean is with John, it seems like Sam is the subject on which he challenges him. He doesn’t have to break from his role as John’s surrogate co-parent and partner or as Sam’s (everything, but first and foremost) protector to do this, so it’s not really even him breaking rank. Dean follows John’s orders because he wants to keep Sam safe in the first place, so it makes perfect sense that this is normal for him. His motivations revolve around Sam.

-Sam, pacing, waiting for Dean to return from the morgue: “it shouldn’t be taking this long, I should go help.” Sam worrying about Dean part 497.

-John uses the vampire’s mate as a hostage because they mate for life. Immediately after this, a vampire uses Sam as a hostage to make Dean back off. It takes one to know one.

-When John kills the vampire Sam stumbles into Dean, who catches him. Dean holds onto Sam until the vampire dies, which takes a moment. Maybe even after that.

-John tells the boys they disobeyed a direct order and Sam says yes sir and Dean says “but we saved your ass.”

Sam can’t believe Dean said that. He looks afraid of what John will do.

Dean showed Sam that he can stand up to their dad too, and not just when it comes to de-escalating situations where Sam is involved- he stands up for himself.

This is important because it’s Dean breaking away from John and coming into his own. Sam has come to understand and even appreciate Dean’s obedience to John, but he still couldn’t choose to be with Dean rather than living a normal life when Dean was following John without question. Now Sam can believe in Dean’s ability to break the pattern Sam couldn’t live with. They’re a team.

#samdean #supernatural #spn meta #wincest #spn 1x20

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ashleyh713fanfics · 4 months

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Dazai X Odasaku!Sister "Timeless" P1

Hello! I've been writing for awhile but this is the first time writing bsd. I gave Oda's sister a name but I'll do a version with y/n if that's more your speed. Synopsis: After Odasaku's death Dazai searches for a way to fulfill his last request but doesn't know where to start. That is until he meets Odasaku's mysterious little sister. Warnings: Usual bsd warnings. Murder, talks of death and suicide, Dazai being a sociopath. Part 1/3

Osamu Dazai was not a good man.

In fact, it would be absurd to even call him an average man. No, it seemed the fifteen year old boy knew just what kind of evil laid in every single cell of his body. It had always been that way, corrupting him for his entire life and there was no stopping it.

So the mafia executive had just accepted it, falling in line as the youngest person to ever command a fleet with absolutely no mercy. That’s just the way things were, and there was no changing them. Although, it wasn’t like the boy wanted change either.

The chaos, the destruction, the death, it was all he had known.

Hearing his newest victim's scream seemingly brought him out of his own philosophical thought though, causing the boy to lower his eyes and focus back in on the chained man in front of him.

Quite honestly, he had forgotten what the guy was being captured and tortured for but Dazai hardly cared, knowing his orders were only to silence him permanently.

Blood began to pour down the victim's face then, watching as the teenage boy reached for the gun on his belt only for the guy to start to scream and shout in his face. “Think about what you're doing, boy! If you kill me you’re going to regret it.”

Dazai only turned his head though, a crazed look in his eye as he cocked the ammunition. “You should have thought about that before double crossing the port mafia.”

Taking a step forward, the boy then pointed the barrel towards the man only for his anger to turn into pure fear, his cries turning into silence as he fully looked in the eyes of his executioner.

And what he saw was absolutely nothing, just a soulless boy with no remorse for his actions in the slightest. “Your eyes hold no feeling, Someday that will be your downfall, someday you will regret the blood you spill so easily.”

For a moment, the bandaged boy paused, curiosity taking up his features as he spoke through the darkness. “And why is that?”

The prisoner then pulled against his chains, lunging for the kid to no avail as his face contorted in insanity in order for him to reply. “Because one day, there won't be a stranger on the other side of that gun. What will you do then?”

Before he could finish, Dazai’s finger pulled the trigger, piercing the enemy five times straight as his lips curled into a bloodthirsty and terrifying smile.

And in his head, the boy replied to his outrages question as the blood began to soak his feet silently. The same thing I always do, because I don't see anyone but strangers.

The man's lifeless body slumped against the chains a moment later as Dazai let off ten more shots into his cold dead muscles as he twitched at the impact. The move was inhumane and psychotic but that was always Dazai’s way of doing things.

He didn’t become a port mafia executive without spilling blood after all.

After a moment, the barrel of his gun clicked him back to reality, all the bullets emptied in order for the boy to simply put the weapon back onto his belt and leave the room in silence.

He felt no remorse for the stranger, or for the brutal way he had ended his life. He never did. Everything had become such second nature to him over time.

Well, there was one person that knew him better than the rest. He was the person that he trusted over all else, almost like a family he never had. The words were still heavy on his mind even now.

Oda Sakunosuke

And whether Dazai liked it or not, he knew that Odasaku was the only one that kept him from going over the deep end into insanity. He kept the fifteen year old boy together and kept him human.

But now he was dead, so there was no one left to hold back the darkness.

So instead Dazai allowed it to fully swallow him whole.

Just then, his phone began to ring inside his pocket before the boy finally put his gun away and answered the call with a low murmur. “Mori, what do I owe the pleasure?”

HIs boss’s voice was immediate, echoing through the darkness. “Ah Dazai, how’s my favorite executive doing? What’s the report?”

Staring at the unmoving body, Dazai then sighed to himself before turning away from the sight in order to scrape some of his blood off his shoes. “The target has been eliminated just like you asked.”

Mori only hummed at that, satisfied with the report. “Very good. Just as expected from the famous demon prodigy. I thought you could use a job after everything that’s happened. You know, to clear your mind from Odasaku’s tragic death last week.”

At the sound of Oda’s name, the boy couldn’t help but tighten his hold on the phone as unwanted memories flooded into him without permission.

Because try as he may, Dazai couldn’t help but continue to hear his dear friend's words in the back of his head. Oda told him to become a good man but that was easier said than done. And though he wanted to fulfill his last wish, the boy had no idea what the mere concept of good was.

For you see, his blood was port mafia black through and through whether he liked it or not. It wasn’t a light switch he could flick in his mind. No, Dazai knew that he had been permanently tainted since he was a child, and there was no reversing that.

He was no longer a fifteen year old kid but rather the demon prodigy.

And demons couldn’t be cleansed into angels. They just couldn’t.

But because of that, the boy felt a gnawing guilt at the bottom of his stomach at all times of the day. It’s like it was punishing him for ignoring his old friend's request. But quite honestly, he knew he deserved it.

Oda was wrong after all, he couldn’t become a good person.

He didn’t even know what good was.

Dazai then felt his mind snap back into place just as he heard Mori finish one of his usual rambles as the boy narrowed his eyes. The boss totally brought up Odasaku because he knew it would garner a reaction from him.

But he wasn’t going to allow that. No, he was too prideful to show his flaws.

Because of that, the boy then forced a smile to his lips before speaking plainly. “Is there anything else you need from me, boss?”

The title came out slightly demeaning, Dazai using the term boss with a twinge of mocking vigor to get under his skin. The boy loved to do that, walking the fine line between respect and disrespect.

“Not partially. I just wanted to see how you were doing. He was your friend after all.” Mori’s sharp dark laugher filled up the space as the boy physically flinched at the world friend.

But once again, Dazai refused to give him satisfaction, the boy simply smiling to myself before turning his head to the side in reply. “I’m great. Thanks.”

Then Dazai simply hung up the phone, the empty space echoing with a long dial tone as he dropped his bandaged arm down to his side as the sunken dead look in his eyes stared at the empty walls for what seemed like forever.

He wanted to see how he was doing?

Of course he wasn’t doing okay.

--------

Dazai had tried to go back to his room at the port mafia but the longer the night got, the more his tired anxious eyes refused to shut. And when they did, he saw Odasaku’s life slip from his fingers, just like it had a week ago.

The boy cursed Mori for bringing up such fragile memories so casually, his body tossing and turning with a groan before finally giving up in order to wander the night streets aimlessly as the cold winter air hit his face.

Although he said that though, the boy quickly found himself wandering into a very familiar place, his hands reaching into his pocket in order to pull out a small silver key and push it into the lock.

The door swung open sadly, allowing the kid to step inside before finally feeling the weight of reality crash down all around him. This was Oda’s place, the apartment where Dazai had found himself many times over the years whenever the mafia felt a little too suffocating.

It was also the place they would go sometimes after having a few too many drinks at Bar Lupin.

Glancing over to the empty living room he pictured a memory of the past as he imagined the ghostly silhouettes of himself, Ango and Oda as they drank around the table and laughed as the men showed him some new card game.

And as cold as Dazai’s heart was now, he missed those times. Why did he take such a thing for granted? Why didn’t he cherish those nights more? He could never get them back no matter how hard he tried.

In fact, the boy had come here tonight in search of something familiar, for something that reminded him of that safe comforting feeling he always had with his old friends. But now, it was cold and empty, just like how the boy felt on the inside.

He couldn’t find Odasaku’s presence anywhere, not even in this place.

Sighing to himself, the boy then walked over to the liquor cabinet in the corner before taking out two glasses and filling them up with whiskey.

Then Dazai lowered his eyes before placing one of the drinks on the table where Oda used to sit before moving over to the other side with a sigh.

Staring at the empty, cruel space across from him, the boy then took a sip of his whiskey as an unwanted wave of emotion coursed through his throat. “Odasaku..”

Suddenly, the entrance to his friend’s apartment started to jiggle and move, like someone was on the other side, as Dazai felt his defenses awaken immediately.

It sounded like someone was trying to break in. But who? Oda told him the only people that knew this place were him and Ango.

Quickly taking out his gun, the boy then narrowed his eyes before slipping out of slight just as the door flew open a moment later. Whoever was trying to steal from his old friend was going to pay for sure.

Dazai then listened carefully as a pair of shoes moved across the wooden floors, the movement halting as the stranger seemingly stopped to stare at the two strange whiskey glasses on the table.

He couldn’t see very much from the angle he was in, only that the stranger was wearing a large black hoodie, the fabric covering up the entirety of their frame and hiding their identity completely.

They then leaned down to touch one of the glasses as the boy quickly cocked his gun in order to place the barrel of his gun onto the back of their temple as the stranger froze.

And when he spoke, it was lethally calm. “Who are you? What are you doing here?”

The stranger was quiet as he watched their hands reach towards their jacket pocket only for the Dazai to assume it was a gun and take action. No, he wasn’t an idiot. Like this guy could pull a fast one on him.

Because of that, Dazai’s face immediately hardened before reaching forward in order to grab the intruder's arm, his fingers wrapping around the surprisingly slim surface before kicking their legs out from under them as they fell backwards onto the ground.

The boy hardly noticed them give a small squeak of surprise at the move.

Pushing the barrel of the gun towards the stranger, the boy added slowly. “You have one chance. Tell me why you’re here.”

The person underneath him tried to squirm but Dazai didn’t let them free, tightening his hold on the trigger before narrowing his eyes. If they didn’t want to tell them who they were then he could just examine the corpse later.

Yet that’s when they heard the intruder speak, soft and quiet, barely above a whisper. And call him crazy but they sounded feminine. “I’m looking for someone.”

Not understanding, he dug deeper. “Who?”

The girl was quiet then, her voice trailing away only for his gun to push even deeper to her temple in warning. No, he wouldn’t allow her to stay silent after dishonoring his old friend's old place.

A moment later she spoke again, except this time the boy was in no way prepared for her answer. “My big brother.”

And try as he may, the demon prodigy paused at that, his hand frozen on the gun as he couldn’t help but turn his head to the side. What the hell was she talking about? Why would her big brother be at Oda’s old place?

Although that’s when a crazy possibility popped into his head before the boy brushed it away immediately. No, that was ridiculous. There was no way.

Scoffing at the idea, Dazai frowned. “Your what?”

The stranger then seemingly sighed to herself before lifting her hand up as his defenses slammed back up in case she tried to try something funny. “He stopped answering my letters a week ago so I thought something might have happened to him. I hopped the first flight I could get and followed the return address on his envelopes.”

Then he watched her reach into her pocket only for his hand to push it back with a lot of anxiety. He didn’t trust this girl, she could’ve been lying, screwing him over. “Nice try but I wouldn’t try anything if I were you. I’m not in the best mood right now.”

Stopping immediately, the intruder’s hand grew tense and rigid against his fingers and for a moment the boy thought she was going to fight back or use some unknown ability on him.

Not that it would matter though considering his ability canceled out everyone else’s. She didn’t stand a chance, especially while he was holding her. No, Dazai would win. It was a guarantee.

Yet it seemed like the girl wasn’t as dumb as he once anticipated, her hand unmoving as she allowed the boy to hold her captive. “Then grab it yourself and see I’m not lying.”

Grab it himself? No, why would he do that? That would just give her the opportunity to stab him or inject him with some kind of poison or something.

Yet the alternative of having her retrieve whatever it is she was trying some him was equally dangerous. No, he couldn’t allow her that kind of freedom.

Because of that the boy narrowed his eyes before hastily reaching his hand out in order to shove it inside the girl’s small pocket on the front side of her drawstring sweatshirt only to pull out a folded envelope just like she had described.

Lifting up the white paper to his face, the boy then recognized the very same address they were at right now, Oda’s address, the one that no one was supposed to know except him and Ango. It was suspicious and strange but she also seemed to be telling the truth.

Just then, Dazai’s face started to grow insanely pale, shaking away the thought before crumbling the empty envelope in his fingers with a scared mutter. “What is your name?”

Her response was immediate, causing the fifteen year old boy’s eyes to widen and his world to come crashing down around him. “Asagao Oda.”

Suddenly, it felt hard to breathe, to think as the boy’s lips slipped out a breathy gasp in reply. No, it couldn’t be. She was fucking with him. There was no way, there was no way he wouldn’t have known about that. Oda was his best friend and he never mentioned this.

Shaking his head in denial, Dazai’s hand began to shake on his gun, his teeth gritting together as he shoved the barrel further into her hidden temple. “Now I know you’re lying. How about you try again?”

The stranger could see this also though, her body moving once again in order to prop herself up onto her elbows and put her hands out in some kind of defense. “I know it’s probably hard to believe but I am..I’m....

Yet the moment Dazai saw movement, his crazed eyes snapped down to the girl before reaching forward in order to grasp onto the top of her hood with a furious shout.” Bullshit, who are you?!”

How dare she deceive him by telling such crazy lies. She would pay for that, for soiling Oda’s honor. He just had to know who she really was first.

Pulling the black fabric down a moment later, Dazai’s gun wasted no time, slamming the barrel into her chest as the girl fell off balance and back onto the floor with a breathy gasp. Now to see who this witch really was.

Yet the moment he adjusted his eyes, Dazai found the very same deep crimson hair he knew for years, pouring down around the sides of the hooded jacket as he stared down at her deep blue cavendish eyes that he had looked into so many times before.

Oh my god, she was a spitting image of his old friend, Odasaku.

But how could that be?

He watched her groan at the sudden force, her eyes squinting behind a pair of large round glasses that took up the majority of her face before opening them again and looking at the gun pointed at her chest.

And though she was so close to death, the girl didn’t dare move, her eyes locking back to the boy’s before Dazai felt his voice break with utter shock.

In that moment, for a split second, the boy didn’t feel like a mafia executive but rather just a confused fifteen year old boy, his voice incredibly small. “It can't be..Odasaku had a little sister..?”

Because if this was true, why didn’t Odasaku mention her, why didn’t he tell him about her? He thought they were friends. But was that wrong? What else did he hold back from the boy?

Yet the moment Oda’s name slipped from his lips, the girl's eyes widened before lifting her hands up to his black jacket in order to utterly ignore the gun that was pressed to her chest. “Wait, you know my brother? Where is he? Please tell me..”

She sounded desperate, the action causing Dazai’s finger to float above the trigger before those horrible memories of his best friend's death flashed through him once more. If she really was his sister, then he knew she’d never find him.

Because of that, the boy told the truth, his voice dull and cruel. “He’s dead.”

And then he waited, he waited for the girl to cry, to scream, to plead with him for something that was already determined and carried out. That’s what the normal response would be, that’s what everyone else did when someone died.

Well, not Dazai but literally everyone else.

Instead, the girl who claimed to be Odasaku’s sister only stayed silent, fingers not moving from his jacket in order for her to close her eyes with something that Dazai read as disappointment before she muttered sadly. “Oh, I see. I hoped that wasn’t the case.”

Pausing for a moment, Asagao then added softly. “How did he go?”

Flashes of that day began to play in his head once more before the boy decided to give her the truth, knowing it wouldn’t matter either way. “He was murdered. I saw it myself.”

Once again, the large rimmed glasses girl only remained silent, like she was thinking something to herself before Asagao replied back sadly. “That must have been very hard on you. I’m sorry..”

And for a moment, Dazai paused. Why was she saying that? Wasn’t she Odasaku’s sister? Surely she sould’ve been the one more broken up about this information. It was like she didn’t even care.

No, that wasn’t right. It was more complex than that. She looked sad enough, but it seemed like she couldn’t make some kind of connection in her brain. In fact, the strange girl showed more emotion towards a total stranger than herself. How strange.

Because of that, the boy turned his head in curiosity. “Why do you say that?”

Asagao only smiled though, the tips of her mouth not quite reaching her eyes as she glanced over to the two glasses of whiskey next to them. “Because if I know one thing, it’s that anyone that pours a drink for the dead truly valued their life.”

Sighing to herself, the girl then looked back to the gun that was holding her hostage before nodding. “Either way, thank you for telling me, and for being there with him in his last moments. I’m grateful to you for that. At least now I know he was truly loved by someone.”

Grateful? Now that was a new one. Usually his enemies weren’t grateful for the torture they received. And Dazai would be lying if he said he wasn't fascinated by the different and strange response.

So much so, a sadistic smile spread across his face without meaning to. “Should you really be thanking me when I have a gun pressed to your chest?”

The girl then paused before glancing back down towards the gun in order to lift her fingers up and press the barrel further into her chest with a sad smile that Dazai couldn’t decipher.

And when she spoke, it brimmed with so much honest passion. “Now that I found out how much you treasured my brother, I wouldn’t mind dying if it’s you that pulls the trigger. Then maybe I could finally feel close to him..”

Pausing slightly at her honest declaration, the boy processed her words with interest and confusion. No one had ever said that to him before. No one had wanted him to be their executioner before. How strange

And it was no secret that Dazai didn’t think much about life, calling it meaningless and pointless. Hell, he had tried to die hundreds of times in order to finally painlessly drift away from such mediocrity.

But staring at the girl that somehow wore his best friend's face, he couldn’t help but be intrigued by her. She didn’t seem scared of death like others. Her face wore a sense of peace and calm he had never seen before from a victim of his.

No, that’s not right. She was scared of death, of course she was, but somehow this stranger found comfort in him pulling the trigger. And for a moment he wanted to ask why, to figure out the methods and inner workings of the girl who claimed to be Odasaku’s sister.

Yet the moment his fingers graced the trigger once more, the door next to them seemingly slammed open in order for another voice to enter the space.

And this time, they sounded stressed. “What do you think you’re doing?!”

Then all at once, both Dazai and Asagao turned in unison only to find a very familiar frazzled man staring back at them, the girl speaking first. “A-Ango?”

Ango only narrowed his eyes though, the man gazing at the very strange and suggestive position the two were in before shaking his head in disbelief. Dazai was practically straddling the poor girl right now with his thighs and without context things did look slightly odd.

If the gun wasn’t there the man surely would’ve thought something else was going on.

Dazai didn’t seem to care about that though, his head turning in confusion at the strange girl. Wait, she just said his old friend's name. That meant.. “You know him?”

Asa didn’t have time to reply though, Ango quickly pointed to the red haired female before speaking with exasperation. “You..what are you doing here?”

The man then gave Dazai a look, causing the boy to sigh and finally let his captive go in order to put the gun back in his hollister. Ango didn’t seem on edge by her which meant that she wasn’t a threat, currently..

Feeling her lips curve up into a goofy smile, Asa then simply leaped from the floor in order to race towards Ango with her arms open wide as she beamed. “Ango! What a surprise, I guess this our first time meeting. How awkward, am I right? Ha ha ha. Small world. That’s crazy, really.”

The man only sighed though, already expecting her moves before placing a hand on her face and pushing her back lightly in order to stop the assault. “I knew you’d come here. Good thing I had the government track your movements just in case. Looks like I got here just in time.”

Frowning at the rejection, Asa then pouted her lips before rubbing the spot where his hand was just moments prior. “Well that’s a little invasive..”

Ango didn’t feel as carefree though, the man immediately putting a hand to his temple in the sign of a headache. “Obviously it was needed. Did you not listen to your brother’s instructions? He said for you to stay out of Yokohama, to not go looking for him. Or did you forget that?”

Dazai then watched the girl pause before dropping her hand in order to awkwardly laugh in a fake cutesy manner. “I may have chosen to admit that part from my memory. Oops?”

Shrugging her shoulders in reply, Ango only shook his head, obviously over her antics. “Oops? That’s all you have to say? Seriously Asagao, what would Oda say..?”

Yet at the sound of Oda’s name, Dazai felt his head perk up. Even Ango was mentioning Oda and her together. That could only mean one thing. The things she was claiming were true, weren’t they?

Not wanting to believe it, the boy called out. “Ango, was she telling the truth? Is she really..”

Although before he could finish, Ango simply put a hand up, not wanting to deal with such a revelation for some reason. “Dazai, please..”

The way he was shutting him down was strange, almost like the man didn’t want Dazai to put together the facts that Odasaku had a little sister and that she was standing before them. But why? Why was Ango, a traitor, allowed to know and not him?

Something was off about all of this.

Just then, his thoughts got interrupted as Asa gasped loudly, her eyes turning towards the boy in excited disbelief. “Wait, Dazai? As in Osamu Dazai? No way, for real?!”

And before he could process it, the girl was up in his face, her blue eyes piercing his through her circular frames in order to look at him like some sort of rare museum artwork she had just found.

Speaking happily, the girl beamed. “Oh wow. I can’t believe it, brother wrote about you in his letters. I feel like I already know you…”

She then reached her fingers out to touch him, causing the boy to counter only for Ango to do so for him, his voice firm. “Asagao!”

Then Odasaku’s sister’s face lit up with some kind of realization before taking a step back with a sort of bashful smile. “Ah, right. Personal space. Sorry, my bad. I got excited. I just wanted to take a good look at you. I guess most people would think that’s rude though. My bad. You probably think I’m some sort of freak now. Ah, well that’s nothing new really.

Putting her hands up in defense, Asa then backtracked. Well she tried, but Dazai could still see the giddy glee in her face, almost like she was trying to suppress it. “I'm just really happy to meet you, that’s all. I just know we can be good friends. Oh! I know, what if..”

Ango only stopped her again though, almost like he was afraid of what she was going to say next. “Asagao…”

Turning her head, the girl hummed in confusion, obviously not seeing anything wrong. “Hmm?”

The government official only frowned though, his hands moving up to hover over her mouth with an exhausted sigh. “Stop talking.”

Asa didn’t seem offended though, her brow turning down in understanding before nodding with an apologetic smile. “Right, sorry. Overdoing it. Got it.”

Shaking his head in exasperation, the government official then turned away from her before pointing to the very curious mafioso that was watching. “Dazai, I need to see you outside. And you..”

Asa pointed to herself at that, turning her head innocently. “Me?”

Nodding once, the man continued roughly. “Yes you. You better not move a muscle cause when I come back I’m sending you right back home.”

Dazai then watched her lips open with pure shock in order for her voice to come out in a whine of protest. “Whaaa? Come on Ango. That’s not fair. I just..”

Ango only cut her off though, his tone serious. “It’s not up for debate. Your brother is gone and I promised him that you would never get involved in this. I’m not going against his wishes and neither will you. Now pack your bags and get ready. We leave tonight.”

Then before she could protest, the man pushed Dazai out of the small apartment door, the boy looking back at the strange new girl only to watch her eyes flash to his in some sort of unexplainable longing before the door covered the sight.

And call him crazy but it looked like she didn’t want him to go.

How strange, he had never seen that kind of response from someone before. Usually they were glad to be rid of the demon, of the boy that had plagued their life. If anything, Asa should’ve been thankful that the guy that had threatened her just moments ago was leaving.

But somehow she wasn’t, and that intrigued him a lethally dangerous amount.

-------------

The cold crisp air hit him immediately, the feeling soaking into his bones and yet Dazai couldn’t focus on anything but the closed door just inches from his face. So much so, his fucked up mind started to run in all different directions without permission.

And he’d be lying to say he wasn’t desperate to know what was going on behind Odasaku’s sister's eyes. He wanted to pick at her brain, to pry it open and see for himself the strange puzzle he had just discovered.

He had a lot of toys but she was something different. It made him want to play around with her more often, to see what other interesting and amusing expressions she could make besides the ones tonight.

Feeling his gaze focus more sadistically in thought, the boy suddenly took out his thoughts by his ex friend’s voice, a sense of warning in his tone. “Dazai, don’t even think about it.”

The mafioso then closed his eyes before finally letting go of the thought in order to turn towards Ango innocently. “Whatever do you mean?”

He only glared though, already knowing the naive tone was an act. “Don’t start. I know you better than anyone. You’re thinking about going back in there and manipulating Oda’s sister for something, aren’t you?”

He wasn’t wrong. The boy had wanted something from her, but it was only to figure out more about her. Did that include messing around and being a little underhanded? Well, how else would he do it? That was his signature.

Yet at the sound of Oda’s name, Dazai paused. No, he could decide all that later. Right now he needed answers. “Ango, what’s going on? Odasaku never said anything about having a little sister. How do you know her? Why didn’t he tell me?”

The information felt like a sting, coursing up the boy’s entire throat. He thought Odasaku and him were best friends. He thought they were close, that they knew everything about each other. But now it was obvious that he was keeping secrets this entire time.

But why, what was the reason?

Ango only sighed though, his fingers moving to his glasses in order to push them up. “It’s a long story, Dazai. I’ve actually never met her before. Oda simply put me on the phone once when he was drunk. None of that matters though. You need to forget you’ve ever seen her. No one is supposed to know she exists . She wasn’t ever even supposed to be in Yokohama.”

Pausing, the boy frowned. “Why?”

His old friend then shook his head in order to speak sadly. “Because Oda knew about the kind of people in his life, he knew what they could do to her. That's why he sent her away, so she could be safe. And regardless of what happened between us I still will fulfill his wish. He was my best friend.”

At the sound of his explanation, Dazai couldn’t help but scoff. Best friend? Yeah right, he didn’t have the right to say such a thing anymore. Not after what happened. “Says the man that betrayed us and the port mafia.”

He then watched Ango flitch in order to dip his head in shame. Dazai still hadn’t forgiven him for the betrayal after all. This government official snuck into the port mafia as a spy and he was just supposed to trust everything he said?

No, those bonds were already broken.

Ango then paused before finally speaking again, his fingers balling into a tight fist of emotion. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, Dazai. But those nights at Bar Lupin meant something to me. You both meant something to me. That’s why I’m here in the first place. She needs to stay out of this.”

Although that’s when his eyes flicked up in order to lock eyes with the young executive. “And that means she also needs to stay away from you.”

He looked so serious, so odd that Dazai couldn’t help twist his lips into a cruel tight lipped smile. The way Ango was glaring at him, it looked like he was viewing the boy as evil incarnate.

And though he wasn’t wrong, the boy remained silent. What a scary expression.

Noticing his silence, Ango continued. “You asked why Oda never mentioned her to you. It’s because destruction and corruption follows you everywhere, Dazai. He knew how black your soul is and what you could do to her if given the chance. The demon prodigy has no place out of the darkness, and I'm sure you know that also.”

Dazai then felt his lips fall open with understanding, a low pain in his chest as he was hit with the reality. Was that really why Odasaku never mentioned his sister, because he was scared of his best friend destroying her?

Ango mentioned him sending her away in order to be out of reach of the dangerous people. Did that include him also? Was Odasaku scared of the boy, of his twisted personality that much? Dazai didn’t know, and that scared him.

But then again, it made sense.

He was a demon, that fact was very well known.

Perhaps Odasaku was right. If he did get his hands on Asagao then she would surely become tainted and destroyed like everyone else in his life. He was a poison, and his best friend was just trying to keep his little sister from ingesting it.

Feeling a hand on his shoulder, the boy then looked up from his unraveling thoughts in order to find Ango’s serious and unwavering stare. “ So I’m telling this now, Dazai. Walk away. Don’t get involved.”

Then the man simply let his hand fall before putting his hand on the doorknob with a sad mutter under his breath. “Let the last piece of Odasaku be untainted, for you and me both.”

Just like that, Ango was gone, leaving Dazai alone in the darkness as it swallowed him whole once more, the familiar black covering his entire silhouette.

And for once, Osamu Dazai didn’t argue with his ex-friends command.

Almost like he knew that he was right, that Odasaku’s sister shouldn’t ever go near him.

----------

Ango felt the bright lights hit his eyes as he made his way into the small apartment in order to squint and walk around the living room with a heavy weighted sigh of exhaustion. This night was far too stressful. Ah well, at least it is over now.

Yet the moment he entered the space, the man was only met with silence, causing his ears to ring with fear. “Asagao?”

Frowning, Ango then moved over to the small table in the corner only to find a tiny yellow sticky note on the surface as the black colored ink mocked him all at once.

Ango, If you wanna bring me back then you gotta catch me first >:D

Crumbling the paper between his fingers, the man then looked up only to find that the fifth story window was open, the sharp breeze stunning him into silence. No, it couldn’t be.

She was gone.

“Asagao!”

-----

Part 2:

Part 3:

(Just an intro to the three part short story I have.)

#bsd dark era #bsd dazai #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai osamu #fanfic #fanfiction #dazaixodasaku!sister #dazai x fem reader #dazai x y/n #dazai x you #dazai x reader #bsd writing #oda sakunosuke #bsd odasaku #this is the first time I'm writing bsd so be kind #ao3 fanfic

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msfantasy-anime · 1 year

Text

Paybacks a Bitch

ExBoyfriend!Katsuki Bakugo x ExGirlfriend!Reader

Summary: Katsuki and Y/n have been dating throughout middle-school, Katsuki gives a brutal break-up on graduation day. The two meet again as adults

Warnings: Angst, break-up drama, regrets

Masterlist - Tip Jar

“So what if I didn’t get into UA?! That doesn’t mean we have to break-up!” Lip trembling, Katsuki pulls away from your grasp as teary blobs cascade down your red splotchy cheeks.

“You don’t get it. If that quirk-less loser Deku got in, then you should’ve too. You must be incredibly pathetic not to get in. I can’t have a girlfriend holding me back from my goals.” A sob escapes your lips as his ferocious words slam deep daggers into your heart.

“How can you say that?! We’ve been together for years and now-“

“And now I have finally opened my eyes to see you for who you truely were. A pathetic looser who’s holding me back. You’ve been an anchor in my life for long enough.” Overwhelmed with the Katsuki’s brutal words your tears turn off, you look blankly into his face. The face of the boy you had once gone, now scowling at you as if you were a nuisance. As if you were just some stranger causing irritation and ruining his day.

This wasn’t your Katsuki, this was a beastly teenage boy who had no love left for you. After all the time and effort spent in maintaining a relationship with this egotistical fool. But now that you think of it… why did you love Katsuki? Long ago were the days when he was kind, long were the days that he ensured your happiness came first. When was the last time he took you on a date? When did he last make you smile? When was the last time you smiled?

Sudden relief washes over you at the realisation that you were no longer bound to his mood-swings. His overbearing jealously that ruined your plans. His controlling nature dominating what you wore and who you talked to.

You can start a new, High School was just around the corner.

There was no need to waste your time any further.

There was no need to waste another breath explaining yourself.

You looked upon Katsuki’s emotionaless face, there was no need to waste another wasted moment with him.

———————————————————————————

“Y/n!” A voice calls, looking over your shoulder you see Midoriya holding a beer in one hand and waving ecstatically with the other.

“No fricking way! Your in charge of the tongs- I’ll be back.” You pass your friend the tongs to continue flipping the thin meat whilst you rush over to greet your old classmate.

“Izu! It’s good to see you!” You pull him into a bear hug which he gingerly returns.

“This is amazing! Look Kacchan- it’s Y/n!” You look to the person sitting across from Midoriya to see non-other than Katsuki Bakugo staring at you with his mouth open. You give a small wave from where you stood, knowing that he was never one for mushy greetings.

“Wow- I’d never thought that I’d see Suki drinking beer and eating barbecue with Izu.” Your signature grin spreading across your face. Midoriya pulls a chair out for you to sit.

“Since when did you call the nerd Izu?” Lips curl at the pathetic nickname given to his rival. His stomach turns seeing you look off the the side the way you did when you wanted to avoid a question. Irritation bubbles in his stomach as Midoriya changes the subject quickly.

“So what’s happening with you?!” His excitement was always infectious, it was a quality you had always admired.

“I had a lay-over in Japan, so I thought I’d catch up with some old friends, but I’m heading back to Australia for a bit. I have a new office opening in Sydney.” Midoriya hums excitedly grabbing your hand he gives it a light squeeze. Katsuki glares at your clenching palm.

“This is the 2nd agency you’ve opened right?! I’ve been following your accomplishments in the hero announcements!” Giggling, you shyly wave off Midoriyas’ kind words.

Katsuki hated this.

He hated how familiar you were both acting.

He hated how he didn’t know anything about you anymore and he hated that this damn nerd knew more about you.

He hated that you seem to be casting your full attention on the green grape across from him.

He hated how he was once your whole life and now is no longer privy to your life.

Katsuki had sworn that you were an anchor to his life. He discarded you thinking that you would hold him back, or drag him down.

Instead your travelling the world, building hero agencies and raking in millions in the process.

You achieved everything you’d hoped.

He achieved his goals- but at what cost?

You were Middle-Schoolers, you wouldn’t have lasted together anyway right?

“It was good to catch up with you both- but I can see my friends are needing help keeping up with the barbecue.” Katsuki gripped your wrist as you stood and blurted out a question that shocked your very ears.

“Do you ever miss me?” You shrug awkwardly, you churned words through your head to string together a kind sentence, but this is Katsuki, he appreciates bluntness.

“Romantically? I don’t. We were kids when we were together, I haven’t seen you since we were 15 years old. I honestly barely remember those times.” Your departure left Katsuki feeling cold.

You barely remember being with him? He remembered you vividly. He struggles to be with anyone else because of his stupidity, his ego ruined a good relationship.

That is a regret he’ll just have to live with.

#bnha imagine #mha imagine #bnha x reader #mha x reader #Katsuki Bakugo x Reader #Katsuki x reader #bakugo x reader #Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight x reader #Dynamight x reader #Kacchan x reader #katchan x reader #ExBoyfriend!Katsuki Bakugo x ExGirlfriend!Reader

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ceruleanchillin · 4 months

Note

which of the biker au boys if most likely so settle any club disputes in the ring? Who’s training who, who is shadow boxing in the corner, and who is the one to watch out for if any of the other club members get them in the ring?

Also, just like general punk biker Soap? Gahhhh that gives me brainrot in the best way

Konig probably. Going by Konig’s voice lines, I think he’s characterized as a little sadistic, and the table would put that to use.

Konig is the SGT at Arms, so he’s generally used for disciplinary measures (when needed) as it is, but the ring is especially his domain. Whoever is stupid enough to go opposite him…well..that’s their fault.

Ghost is probably the one who trains everyone, keeps them sharp. I think they all can handle themselves pretty well, but I’m sure he stays on top of that for every one. Besides Konig, I think he’s the most brutal, he just has more restraint. As VP (and as just Simon) he makes it his personal mission to see that every one of his guys gets home, so he needs them to be on their toes.

Shadow boxing would probably be Gaz. I see him as the least likely to enter the ring (though he 100% has, every member has), but the most into sharpening his hand-to-hand skills. He’s probably more concerned about making sure he’s ready when somebody tests him, than blowing off steam. Though if he gets mad enough, he’s not above it.

The one to watch out for is Konig, and then I would say Ghost, but I think Price is the one most people get shocked by.

They either assume things because of his age (which isn’t old but..), or they think he’s gotten more comfortable with a gun than with his hands. He was fighting in pubs before he should’ve legally been in them, he’s not one to sleep on.

Anytime his boys get out of line, he's taking them to the ring for the equivalent of an adult spanking. Not a fun time being on his shit list.

He also enjoys it way more than he lets on, almost as much as Konig and Ghost.

—------------------------------

We love punk biker!soap here. He’s rocking the shaggy mullet mohawk in this AU. It’s a pain in the ass with the helmet, but it’s worth it, it’s going nowhere.

Let’s talk piercings: He’s got your standard industrial bar through one ear, 3 studs on the same ear, two on the other, and his nipples used to be pierced from a dare when he was a teenager.

He can be convinced to get them again ;).

He also has an adventurous…southern piercing. Moving on.

Even if you’re not into Punk music, you appreciate your boyfriend’s love for the genre. He has the most infectious joy about his interests.

His dorm wall is covered in tickets and passes that he’s acquired around several countries. Every time he lands in a new location, he befriends the underground scene.

Most of his friends outside of the club are in bands, or the general scene.

Caught an elbow to the forehead in a mosh pit when he got distracted by how pretty you are, and the fact that you were willing to brave a pit with him.

Didn’t know he was bleeding until it ran over one eye.

“Oh my god!” You gasped.

“How it goes sometimes hen! Cannae get mad, just gotta roll with it!” He pulled you to the edge of the crowd. “‘sides, I’m good long as I can see ya. Even with one eye .”

He's obsessed with you.

#kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #cod x reader #cod #john price #john soap mactavish x reader #john soap mactavish #call of duty x reader #call of duty #cod mw2 #soap x reader #soap mactavish #biker!141

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gatitties · 2 years

Text

Big brother

─Luffy, Law & Kid x sister!reader (platonic)

─Summary: Some headcannons about Luffy, Law and Kid with a younger sister

─Warnings: none

Luffy

He feels so special to be someone's older brother, he will be proud of each of the things you do, however silly, simple or even if they are poorly done, he will smile at you giving a thumbs up in approval.

Needless to say, he's pretty protective around you, like, he knows you're safe and you know how to fend for yourself, but he'll always be there to let others know that they'll have to deal with him if they do anything to you.

He doesn't really care who you decide to pair up with unless that person makes you cry.

Very, very clingy, he loves to sleep cuddling with you because he says you are a perfect pillow. Lots of unexpected hugs because it's always a good time for a hug.

There is no discussion, he will not let you stay on your home island, you are being part of his crew whether you like it or not, because he wants to live adventures by your side.

An accomplice in his food thefts directly or indirectly, he always gets you involved in his discussions with Nami, he uses you as carte blanche to get out of Nami's blows unscathed because she wouldn't hit you, she knew when you got into trouble and most of the time you were just dragged.

You got your first wanted poster (because of him) and he hung it next to his, Ace and Sabo's.

Law

Well, you weren't really his biological sister, but he treated you like one, he met you after Corazon's death. You were only a few years younger than him but you helped him when he came to your island, he was a tough nut to crack, but he needed someone's help to survive and you opened the doors of your house to him, well, those of the orphanage.

He found himself more attached to you during those teenage years because you were the only person who took care of him when he passed out from exhaustion after so many hours studying medicine.

Then, years later, he asked you to be part of his crew, you had no connection to the island, so you accepted.

Now, he's not the cuddly type, you'll just get a hug from time to time, maybe when you're sick.

You don't get special treatment, at least not in the eyes of the crew, behind closed doors Law can be more open with you, be prepared for nights talking about his concerns.

Say goodbye to having some kind of simple and fleeting romance, this man will glare at anyone who seems to have the slightest interest in you, first of all he has to do his research on that person.

Very afraid of losing you, considering you family, he doesn't want you to suffer the same fate as Corazon, so the 'Doflamingo topic' is completely out of your hands.

He keeps you hidden from all danger so you won't get a bounty on your head, at least not so soon, the last thing he wants is unwanted attention towards you.

Eustass Kid

Being related to Kid implies being related to Killer equally, the only difference is that you and Kid shared the same blood, but the three of you were basically raised together.

Unlike them, you weren't a fan of fights, but you had to get involved in them because of them, at least you learned how to punch.

Kid is a proud asshole and he can't let his image and ego get spoiled by someone weak, so put on a tough stance because even if you're not as brutal as them, you'll have to look it.

Facing the public, he is totally closed to any type of contact, the rude boys don't give hugs. You've had so many arguments with him because of it, sometimes you think he just doesn't love you because it's hard to show his love for you.

Killer always solves these fights between you two, he knows that you love each other but if you have something alike it's that you're just as stubborn, neither will give their arm to ask for an apology. He is the voice of reason for both of you.

Anyway, say goodbye to anyone who tries to conquer you, he will scratch out the eyes of anyone who wants to try to make a move with you, he is not going through those things, he knows how most relationships end and the least he needs is to see you cry for any useless bitch.

This leads to more fights because he's not even willing to negotiate if you can go out with someone he's been watching for a while for doing something suspicious.

The redheaded idiot cares about you, but none of that will come out, unless you're dying, because if he lives to see you dying he'll be on his knees crying like a fucking baby.

#one piece #one piece x reader #eustass kid #trafalgar law #luffy #xreader #sister reader #platonic #luffy x reader #kid x reader #law x reader #siblings #law te quiero mucho #kid te quiero mucho #luffy te quiero mucho #fem reader

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vintagemulti · 2 years

Text

rainfall (part four)

parings: bradley “rooster” bradshaw x pilot!reader

desc: this was the mission someone wasn’t coming back from; you were sure of it. you just hoped to god it wasn’t the man you loved.

warnings: swearing, angst, alcohol, sad bradley bc that is a warning itself, two oblivious idiots it’s painful, self-loathing/mental health struggles

a/n: ellie going back to her roots and doing a filler chapter for chapter four😵‍💫 i only plan on this being like 6/7 parts btw, this won’t be a long as my other series (which u should 100% read if you’re into moonknight) but i’ll see how ur goes. disclaimer that i know nothing about the navy or planes. also reblogs to wayyyyy more than likes so…

series masterlist

masterlist

if you didn’t understand the rules of american football before, it was no exaggeration to say that you were completely lost now. what could you say? you were never into sports as a child.

all you managed to gather was this - bradley was on your team, pass to him. don’t let someone take the ball and if someone has the ball; take it from them.

both of those things, at once. god, this was brutal.

it was too hot, too muggy - even though you were only wearing shorts and a sports bra, you still felt like you needed to strip and dive into an ice cold pool. maverick was crazy for making you do this in this heat; did he want you all to get heatstroke?

“are we ready to play?” he yelled from the opposite team’s side, whistle hanging from his lips.

“ready… go!”

and the game began - the boys instantly crashing int each other, because apparently none of them were taught that it’s just a game and that no, it’s not actually that deep.

but you wouldn’t try to tell them that, not now, anyways.

“rainfall, here!” fanboy called, throwing the ball straight to you.

catching it, you froze. who did you throw it to again? oh, yeah, bradley.

“rooster,” you called, aiming at him and throwing.

pheonix laughed from beside you, her memory of your god awful football skills serving her well. really - there was a million other sports you could play, but american football really, truly, was not one.

payback came into your field of view, charging at you full force. it took you a whole second to decide that no, it was not worth trying to defend it, and you should just get out of the goddamn way.

you stood back for a moment - watching everyone around you smiling and completely immersed in the game, even maverick was playing; his duties surrounding the mission completely slipping his mind.

and it was in that exact moment that you felt completely, utterly, wholly useless.

it didn’t happen a lot - the feeling you had. sure, you’d struggled with depression in your teenage years, but it was something you’d gotten help for - you were better.

but in a job like this, where you were so used to having control over everything, the moments where you felt useless and unwanted hit harder than ever.

so you did what your therapist had told you to do all those years ago - walk away. you walked away from the group, none of them even noticing your absence.

well, that’s what you thought.

bradley watched you leave, not even taking a look back at your teammates, his face falling with every step you took. he knew about your mental health struggles, and he couldn’t help but feel guilty - had he cause this?

his actions, everything that happened last night; was this is fault?

he knew that it would take forever to explain things to you, even longer for you to forgive him. but fuck - in that moment, as you got further and further away from the group, bradley wished that he hadn’t done anything last night.

the ball was thrown to him, but he didn’t care. you were his priority; you’d always been his priority, always would be. nothing could ever change that.

“rooster!” payback called, hands up in confusion as bradley completely missed the ball.

picking it up from where it had fallen beside him, bradley gave it a half-assed toss, not even checking his aim; he didn’t care where it landed.

maverick had stopped to look at him now, already half knowing what had changed bradley’s mood so quickly. the younger boy was stood completely still, eyes fixed on where you had been only a few minutes before.

“bradley,” maverick called to him, making him turn. “just go to her.”

it was like he had been waiting for someone to tell him, just needing those four words to be set into action, letting him move.

and so bradley turned back around, setting off in your footsteps. a walk turned into a jog, his eyes scanning all over for you, the only sign being your footsteps left on the sand.

it was colder inside. the short walk from the beach to the hard deck had cooled you down, just a little. but you couldn’t help the burning feeling in your gut, travelling up through your throat and reaching your eyes.

you stared into your own eyes, watching them get redder and clouding over with tears, not even trying to stop them before they fell, only adding to the mascara streaks down your face.

god, why were you like this? why did you have to be so goddamn sensitive about everything? it wasn’t like bradley cared - he was perfectly happy with carrie, or whatever the hell her name was.

you let yourself fall against the bathroom wall, slowly losing sight of yourself in the mirror as you slid down.

it took everything you had in you not to claw at your own skin, peel the flesh off until you were nothing but a puddle of blood and bones on the floor. but then again - what would that solve?

after spending most of your teenage years going through phases like this, you knew the feeling would pass in a day or so. but in that moment, if felt like it would last forever. the guilt of fucking someone else and secretly wishing it was bradley; bradley, the man who would never love you how you loved him.

bradley, the man who - unknown to you - had just walked into the hard deck.

letting your head hit against the wall, you closed your eyes. this part was the worst - the longing, the knowing that if bradley was there he would be able to fix everything. if only he looked at you the way you looked at him.

if only he didn’t want other girls; didn’t look at their asses when they walked past and for once, just once stared at you like that.

the funny thing was - he did. he constantly stared at you. when you weren’t looking.

“did y/n come in here?” bradley asked, looking around the bar for you but only seeing one, sad looking, glass sitting on the bar.

“she’s in the bathroom,” penny smiled over a crate of beer. “i thought you’d come looking.”

luckily for you, you hadn’t heard them speaking, if you had - what would you have done anyway? would you have wipes your tears, stood up and ran out the door? or would you have stayed exactly where you were, that selfish part inside you glad that bradley had finally come to save you?

speaking of which; he approached the door, getting as close to is as possible without pressing his ear against it, listening for any sign of you behind the door. a sign, which came in the form of a small, hitched breath; something that came out as more of a gasp.

“y/n?” he almost whispered, knuckles tapping against the door.

you froze. no - it couldn’t be, could it? had he really come running after you? fuck. fuck - no, it couldn’t be.

“y/n, you in there?” bradley repeated, your suspicions being completely confirmed - it was him.

“i’ll-” you started, voice betraying you with a crack. “i’ll just be a second.”

but bradley knew you far better than that.

“let me in, sugar,” the pet name had you choking back a sob, biting into your hand to stop the noise coming out. “please.”

it took you a moment to decide whether you’d let him in or not. a full moment - but the selfish side of you won. the little voice in the back of your head that sounded a little bit like pheonix; mumbling how you’d always had a chance with bradley.

the lock clicked, and bradley slowly turned the handle, not quite knowing what to expect on the other side.

what he did see, though, almost spilt his heart down the middle.

you were stood a few steps away, eyes, red and puffy, fixed firmly on the floor, you head tilted down - in a half-assed attempt to hide the mascara trails that ran down your cheeks. the way you were standing, like an insecure little girl, arms folded over your chest, hugging yourself.

any anger you thought bradley was holding towards you completely faded away.

“oh, sugar,” he stepped forward, almost scooping you into his arms. “what? what is it, darlin’?”

you felt so completely enveloped in him, it was completely blissful. his scent; the smell of beach water mixed with a spray of his cologne, his feel, everything - he had you completely covered in him.

“i can’t-” words failed you. “not here- i can’t.”

“alright,” bradley hummed, you could feel the vibration of his voice in his chest. “alright, sweets, i’ll take you home.”

bradley’s house was exactly the same as the last time you were there. even down to the jackets hanging on the back of the front door, everything was the same. after all - it had only been, what? a six months, since you’d been here? in his house?

he led you to his couch, sitting you down so gently you half thought he expected you to shatter.

but he didn’t - not really. you’d been friends with bradley long enough for him to know exactly what to do in this situation, how to handle you at your most vulnerable.

“alright, sugar, do you wanna talk to me?” bradley asked, sitting down next to you, hand wrapping around your shoulders.

“i just-” you took a breath. you just what? how in the hell were you meant to be honest with him and keep your oldest secret? “it’s nothing, really.”

maybe saying nothing at all would do the trick.

“it’s clearly not nothing,” his tone was so soft; like his voice was laced with bubble wrap to make sure he didn’t come across the wrong way. “y/n, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t-”

“i slept with hangman.”

the words came out quicker than you could have stopped them, tumbling out of your mouth and leaving you no room to even try to catch them.

“i know.”

“what?” you looked at him. “how?”

“i saw you,” bradley swallowed like the words were bitter on his tongue. “when i was driving cassie home.”

cassie - you’d almost forgot her name. but it still stung to hear him say it; say it like she was someone to him.

“oh, right.” you couldn’t hide the bitter tone.

“why do you feel bad for that, sugar? did he- did hangman do something? did he take advantage of you? i swear to god - i’ll kill him if-”

“no,” you almost laughed, placing a hand on his chest. “no, bradley, he didn’t. i just- i feel bad because… it wasn’t him i wanted to sleep with.”

bradley furrowed his eyebrows. “what do you mean?”

now you were fucked. you’d said too much - how did you get out of this hole you’d dug for yourself? “it doesn’t matter, really, i just feel like i used him, you know?”

“who would you rather be having sex with?”

the question took you completely by surprise. you’d spoke about sex with bradley before, it wasn’t a topic you’d ever shied away from - but how in the hell did you dodge this question?

“i-” your mind went blank. “i didn’t mean it like that, i mean- i was kinda mad, you know? i don’t like fucking like that, like a stress reliever. i dunno, it makes me feel like i’m using them.”

“why were you mad?”

you couldn’t lie this time. “‘cause you treated me like shit all last night.”

bradley hung his head, nodding. “i’m sorry. y/n, i mean that. i’d had one too many to drink and i was in a bad mood, i- i shouldn’t have taken it out on you. i really am sorry.”

smiling, you relaxed slightly. communication was always important to you - and this was one friendship you refused to lose after one fight.

“bradley?” he looked back up at you. “why didn’t you tell me about cassie?”

“well,” he laughed lightly. “i didn’t think it was that important, you know? i doubt you’d really care, honestly.”

“what?” you looked at him, slightly shocked. “bradley, of course i care! i’m your best friend, i’m like- the person who would care about this stuff the most.”

he looked at you for a moment. “y/n- who do you think cassie is to me?“

“she’s-” you furrowed your eyebrows. “she’s your girlfriend, right? or something close?”

“oh my god,” bradley laughed. “oh my god.”

you stared at him, totally confused. it felt like some inside joke you weren’t in on.

“y/n,” he smirked. “she’s my cousin.”

it was hilarious. absolutely fucking laughable. god - it was divine comedy at its peak. your mouth fell into an ‘O’ shape, slowly nodding. bradley’s giggles sounded from beside you, clearly he was finding this funny.

you were completely relieved. totally, selfishly, one hundred percent relieved. so you laughed too. laughed at yourself; how you’d gotten so upset over something you had no idea about.

whether a second or five minutes passed, you weren’t sure. the sound of bradley’s laugh, so completely drowned in happiness, it was music to your ears. a drug you were so totally addicted to, you’d cut off your own leg if it meant you could hear his boyish giggles.

god, you were in love with him.

and bradley was thinking the exact same thing about you.

once you’d finally stopped laughing, quiet came over you, a familiar kind of comfortable quiet, embracing the two of you and enveloping the room with a hum that settled in both of your souls.

or maybe that was a slightly rom-com version of saying; it went quiet.

meeting bradley’s eyes in the quiet, you couldn’t help but stare into them.

his eyes, god his eyes. you loved everything about him but his god damn eyes. they were like whisky, filling up the glass of his iris until it was just about overflowing. they were like jack daniels at the end of a bad day, a little distillery in the scottish highlands turning out the best thing you’d every tasted.

and by god - you would drink whisky every day if it felt like his eyes.

the world around you seemed to stop spinning as you stared into his irises, the couch you were sitting on melting into you until it felt like you were pure mass.

it must have been a genetic impulse. to lean in, to let gravity pull you towards him. you moved your gaze from his eyes to his lips, suddenly imagining what it would feel like to have them on yours.

there couldn’t have been more than a few inches between your faces now, an electric heat in between the two of you as your breath combined, fanning onto each other’s faces.

“y/n,” bradley whispered, the words hitting your ears and snapping you from your chance.

the way he whispered your name woke you up. fuck - what on god’s earth were you thinking? you were his best friend. nothing else. don’t be stupid, y/n. he doesn’t want you.

you pulled back quicker than bradley realised, his eyes still on the spot your lips had been milliseconds before.

clearing your throat, you felt the air around you turn awkward for the first time in years.

“takeout and a movie?” you proposed, hoping to god it would put a bandaid on whatever wound you’d just opened between you two.

“of course,” bradley smiled like nothing even happened. did anything even happen just then, or did you imagine it? “i’ll order.”

nodding, you watched him stand up and walk to where his phone was. you took a hand to your lips, swearing that when you touched the flesh you felt electric shocks.

fuck - you hoped bradley would forget that ever happened. bradley on the other hand; hoped he’d never forget that happened.

“good morning aviators,” it wasn’t maverick’s voice this time. “we have some news for you.”

the admiral eyed all of you, making sure he had everyone’s attention before continuing; “your mission date has been moved forward by ten days.”

“oh, shit,” hangman mumbled from beside you.

“this means that you have under a week to complete your training-”

“but sir,” payback piped up. “none of us except rainfall have completed the route yet, and even she fainted.”

“which is exactly why you’re going to be working double as hard, starting today. i’ll now hand over to your teacher.”

and with that he was gone.

“alright,” maverick walked to where the admiral stood a few seconds prior. “same route, in teams of four planes this time. i’ll give you an order, and please-” he looked at you. “no passing out.”

a few people sniggered, leaving you rolling your eyes. you were at ten point three g’s - what the hell were you supposed to do? and you’d lost at least a cup of blood. like they would stay conscious in that situation.

“alright, team one; yale as your team leader, fritz as your wingman, omaha and harvard in dagger two, halo and coyote in dagger three.”

the six of them stood up, walking to the door and waiting to be dismissed. maverick waved them off, chatting amongst themselves as they walked down the corridor.

“do you think any of them can manage it?” hangman asked you, watching the door close behind them.

you hummed; “maybe. yale’s a good pilot.”

“better than you?” he raised an eyebrow.

scoffing, you turned to him. “better than you? than any of us? we’re all the best of the best, jake. don’t be bitter.”

“hey, come on,” he raised his hands in defence. “i was just asking. you know, giving you something to think about.”

“have you been listening to like, anything, maverick said?” you smirked. “we don’t think up there. stop trying to sabotage me.”

“oh, yeah,” you were glad he got the joke. “that’s definitely what i’m trying to do.”

laughing, you turned away from him, looking at bradley. he seemed a million miles away, staring out of the window into the big wide ocean. you wondered where his mind was, but judging from the way he stared at the water, you knew what he was thinking about already.

his dad’s anniversary was coming up.

as it turns out, yale must not have been a good enough pilot, because none of the group managed to complete the route on time. not a single plane would have made it back if this had been a real mission.

“alright, next group is all of you guys. i want rainfall as a team leader, pheonix and bob as your wingman. fanboy and payback in dagger three, rooster and hangman in dagger four.”

without having to turn around, you could picture both bradley and jake’s faces. god, it was a sight to behold. they really were like two spoiled little kids.

did it surprise you to be made team leader? no. you’d been the only person who’d completed the course, and if you hadn’t passed out everything would have went completely ideally.

praying you wouldn’t pass out again this time, you followed the rest of your team out to the planes.

you could still hear hangman and bradley behind you, muttering insults at each other like little children who never learned the meaning of teamwork. it made you smile, knowing that no matter what happened, those task would always hate each other.

yes, it was a strange thing to be smiling about, but it was the sense of stability, a hatred that had been there since they met each other all those years ago and would most likely still be there until the day they died.

not that they really hated each other. you knew that, it was all an act deep down. bradley respected hangman, hangman respected bradley. they just didn’t like to show it.

it went in a blur - from being given your safety briefing to taking off, it felt like you had blinked and you were a thousand feet in the air.

“rainfall, proceed to the coordinates on your dash. everyone else, follow her.” maverick said over the radio; he was supervising the flight.

“got it,” you mumbled back, turning to follow the directions in front of you.

it was the same place you’d gone the last time for this training, you noticed. the same big, open desert, surrounded by forest, spanning what seemed to be hundreds of miles.

“alright, everyone in place?”

checking your controls once more, you nodded to yourself; “i’m good, mav.”

“we’re good.” fanboy replied.

“all good here.” pheonix said.

“yeah, us too.” hangman agreed.

“good. your time starts… now!”

you sped up instantly, pushed back in your chair from the force. pheonix was behind you, a shocked noise coming from her when she realised just how fast you were going.

g-force pushed against you, everything twist and turn you took pressing down on your lungs, like an elephant was standing on top of you.

“thirty seconds in, im about a quarter of the way there.” you stated.

“christ, rainfall, you’re fast.” pheonix answered. “i can’t even see you.”

laughing lightly, you turned to look behind you, pheonix and bob not even appearing in the distance.

“then get faster.” you said.

“speaking of faster,” fanboy groaned. “slow down, hangman, you’re up my ass.”

“you should’ve put pheonix behind you, fan, maybe then you two would be going at the right pace.” hangman answered, cocky tone dripping through the radio.

“that’s a minute, i’m half way there. pheonix, you gotta hurry up. i need that laser on time.”

as you said it, the pair of them appeared behind you, gaining speed with every turn they took.

“happy?” pheonix asked.

“very. like christmas.” you laughed.

the rest of the route was like a second nature to you, each curve coming to you almost naturally. it was here that your nose had started bleeding before, leading to you passing out.

you prayed the pressure wasn’t too much this time; you could not afford another accident. you’d never be put on the mission if you passed out again.

“alright, pheonix, you ready?” you asked, taking a quick look behind you to see where she was.

“always, rainfall.”

pulling up, you felt the g-force push you back, just slightly. this was nothing compared to what was coming.

“alright bob, get that laser ready.” you said, eyes fixed on the target.

“shit- there’s something wrong with this laser, it won’t catch.” he replied, hint of urgency in his voice.

“are you fucking kidding me!?” you yelled back, target getting even closer. there wasn’t enough time.

“i’m sorry, i’m trying everything to-”

“forget it, i’ll drop blind!”

trying to aim without a laser was hard - harder when time was running out. fuck, this shot would have to do.

“bombs away!” you yelled, already hundreds of feet away.

“bullseye!” bob called over the radio, making you let out a relived sigh.

and then you had to pull up. pull up - against the force that pushed you back, so much that you thought you’d go falling through the entire plane and put onto the ground.

you were pulling seven g’s now. seven point five. eight. fuck, your vision was blurring at the edges. your breathing was slow, rigid, like the oxygen wasn’t really getting to you at all.

everything felt light. like you were floating. you could feel your hands, tingly and shaky and slipping off of your controls. you couldn’t form any thoughts, just the overwhelming feeling of calm.

the world was quiet, dull. the ringing in your ears was the only sound audible to you, and even then it didn’t bother you. the bliss of unconsciousness was just about to overtake you and-

“get that fucking laser ready, rooster!” fanboy yelled.

and you were awake again, hands gripping your controls and pushing you forward, levelling yourself after pulling up.

“you alright, rainfall?” maverick asked over the radio, scratchiness scraping against your ears.

“all good,” you mumbled, voice slightly weak. “still awake.”

“i’ve got a lock, i’ve got a lock!” rooster cried, clearly having fun trying to work a laser.

“alright, bombs away!” payback yelled.

both you and pheonix were level now, watching the two of them pull up from a few hundred feet away. you could hear their groans over the radio, bradley taking a few gasps follow by a strained ‘fuck’.

that should not have been as attractive to you as it was.

they were almost there now, twenty seconds more or less and they’d be fine. they just had to stay awake.

which is far easier said than done, clearly, because fanboy seemed to go quiet over the radio, payback getting louder in his calls to his wingman.

“fanboy, you alright?” maverick asked.

and then you saw it - the plane losing balance, turning nose to the ground and falling. fanboy passed out.

“fuck, he’s in g-lock!” payback yelled, voice laced with fear. “fuck, wake up, man!”

“shit,” maverick mumbled, his own plane coming into your view. “let’s hope this works again.”

maverick lined himself up with the other plane, clearly trying to get a dial tone to wake fanboy up. it worked for you, right?

“come on, give me tone, give me tone.” he mumbled.

you felt completely powerless, all you could do was watch. two pilots could die right now, and all you’d be able to do was stare as they went down.

“oh, fuck- oh shit!” fanboy finally yelled, pulling up straight away.

“christ,” you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding in, leaning back in your seat.

fanboy came level with the rest of you, clearly shaken up. payback was still yelling at him, something about almost getting both of them killed.

“shit, birds!” maverick interrupted them both, making you turn around in your seat.

about twenty birds were coming straight for you, making you break right straight away. but pheonix didn’t think so fast; you saw a bird fly straight into one of her engines, instantly causing a fire.

“right engine is out!” bob yelled.

“disconnecting power and restarting,” pheonix blurted. “fuck, it didn’t go out.”

you could see them, much like fanboy and payback just minutes before, on a downward spiral - fast. pheonix was an amazing pilot, you had no doubts about that; but there was no way she can pull this back.

and you heard just as much, over the radio; her desperate attempts to keep in the air, downed out by mavericks begs for her to just eject.

she must have tried absolutely everything else, because after a particularly desperate plea from maverick, you saw both pheonix and bob eject.

you watched, mouth half open and breaths shaky. the thought you’d pushed to the back of your mind reading it’s head once more;

this was the mission someone wasn’t coming back from.

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kaldurahms-lover · 1 year

Text

Cardigan

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem Reader (version of jason isn’t mentioned but i wrote it with his original storyline death from Batman: A Death In The Family, not a later, retconned version)

Warnings: angst but also fluff, reader is a famous singer, use of Y/N, pet names (baby, sweetheart, princess, lmk if i missed any), swearing, makes references to other songs (Lover by Taylor Swift, Lucky People by Waterparks, and Favorite Record by Fall Out Boy), i reread this like 8 times but i couldve missed things so don't flame me if theres any fuck ups in there lmao

Word Count: 4,175

A/N: (yes i know cardigan is part of the teenage love triangle songs, yes i made it into somewhat fluff because i fucking wanted to, whats it to you? I was just listening to cardigan (by taylor swift if you were unaware) in the shower and had this beautiful idea of like what if rather than it being about getting cheated on, i make it about the reader experiencing Jason’s death (and resurrection)? also i color coded the dialogue which is something i normally don't do soooo fun little touch i guess.)

IMPORTANT NOTE: Italics mean it’s a flashback, bold and bigger means it's a song lyric, regular text means it's happening in real time. (with very obvious exceptions) Cool? Cool. also, real quick, THE FLASHBACKS ARE NOT IN PERFECT CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER!!!!

“HELLO GOTHAM CITY!” The crowd roared in excitement. Y/N was excited too, it was her first show in Gotham in a long time. This was her first tour in a long time. Of course, she let the public think that it was just because she was a teenager focusing on school, not because when she was 16 her first love the love of her life had been brutally murdered…

“It’s really nice to be playing a hometown show, and since this is my first one in forever, how about I play you something brand new?” Screams erupted in the audience, people pulling out their phones to get the first recording of a brand new song.

“This one means a lot to me, it’s about someone very special to me, and how he came back to me when I needed him most. This is a quieter one so I'm gonna need you all to listen, and please don’t judge me if I cry during this. Alright, this one’s called ‘cardigan’ everybody!”

Rows and rows of people buzzed with excitement as the music began to play.

Vintage tee, brand new phone

Y/N and Jason walked in, strutting about as if they were models in the new vintage tees Y/N had bought for them at the thrift store just days before. They strolled about the mall, eventually making the stop to get Jason a new phone, he had dropped his from a rooftop on patrol the night before. Oops.

“Jay, baby, you can’t just use Bruce’s credit card without asking all the time” Y/N smiled, knowing Jason wasn’t going to listen to her

“Says who? Besides, I told him I was taking it. If he didn’t want to pay for me to get a new phone, he should’ve given me a secure pocket in the suit for it like I asked.” Jason shrugged. He wasn’t atrociously rebellious at all times, but he knew Bruce had more than enough money for him to get a new phone, and to treat his girlfriend, and best friend, when he wanted to. “Plus, if I didn’t take his card, I wouldn’t be able to spoil you, would I?” He wrapped an arm around her waist, pressing a kiss to her temple as they walked out of the store.

High heels on cobblestone

Y/N’s heels clicked loudly against the cobblestone walkway as she made her way to the entrance of the Wayne gala, arm linked with Jason’s.

“Are you sure I look alright? I’ve never worn a dress this fancy Jason. Should I even be at a Wayne gala I mean–” Jason cut her off.

“Sweetheart you look perfect. And if anyone tells you otherwise I will personally ask Bruce to kick them out.”

“Jay you can’t do that.”

“According to who? I have adopted Wayne privilege and you’re the one who’s Bruce’s favorite”

“I am not Bruce’s favorite!”

“Yes you are princess.”

He dragged her into the gala, excited to spend a night with her, and after that, her first Wayne gala was nothing but history, as she attended every single one at her lover’s side.

When you are young they assume you know nothing

“That boy is a delinquent Y/N! I doubt you even know anything about him, has he even told you how he came to meet Mr Wayne?” Y/N’s father shouted. He’d never liked Jason, despite him being Y/N’s best friend for years before things ever became romantic. She used to be able to avoid it, but when her mom moved out of state for work and Y/N wanted to stay in Gotham… well this was her only option.

“Yes dad, I know how he met Bruce! You realize I knew him long before he was adopted by Bruce Wayne right? That I didn’t just go for him because he was rich? You assume because I’m young that I know nothing!”

“Clearly you don’t know anything if you would choose to be with a boy who is a thief! He tried to steal Mr. Wayne’s tires!”

“He was trying to steal them because he was living on the streets and needed money to fucking eat, Dad! Clearly you’re the one who knows nothing here!”

She stormed out of the house, furiously texting Jason and trying to will away the angry tears.

Sequined smile, black lipstick

Y/N grinned at Jason, her black lipstick fresh as they prepared to go to a party. Bruce had cleared Jason of Robin duty for the weekend and they’d decided to take time to enjoy being normal teenagers.

“What do you think?” She asked, still smiling

“I think… I’m really tempted to kiss that lipstick right off of you”

“Come do it then.”

Sensual politics

“Do you ever think about sensual politics?” Y/N looked up at Jason, her head in his lap as he read a book.

“What the fuck do you mean ‘sensual politics’?”

“Like the politics of being flirtatious or like building a relationship with someone, but like also kind of a play on sexual politics and people’s perception of the difference’s between men and women and the politics of it, you know? Like they’re both very different things but you can name them the same thing”

“And you’re calling that sensual politics?”

“Yes, what about it?”

“I wish I could understand what’s going on in that brain of yours, you’re such a nerd princess”

When you are young they assume you know nothing

“Jaybird if you hurt her I hope you know I’ll have to break your legs” Dick shrugged as if this was common knowledge.

“I won’t hurt her, Dickwad. She’s the best thing to happen to me.”

“Okay, but you’re young and stupid, anything could happen.”

“Just because you knew nothing when you were young doesn’t mean I’m stupid.”

But I knew you

Years ago, Y/n was 11 and Jason was 10. Y/N was on her way home from the school when she saw someone she recognized.

“Hey! You’re the boy from the library! You showed me my favorite book!”

Jason flushed, unaware that she’d remember him, or that she’d take the recommendation he’d once given her seriously

“Yeah uh, hi. My names Jason, Jason Todd.” He stuck his hand out to shake.

She placed her hand in his and shook. "Y/N."

Dancin' in your Levi's

Y/N and Jason slow danced in her room, her record player spinning some old collection she’d snagged from Wayne manor.

“I was unaware that Levi’s were ballroom attire Monsieur.”

“And I was unaware your bedroom counted as a ballroom Mademoiselle”

Drunk under a streetlight, I

“Jason you’re drunk.”

“No I’m notttt. Please Y/N pleeeeaaassseee be my girlfriend.”

“You’re drunk Jay, if you weren’t then you’d remember I already am.” She laughed, watching her lover shoot up in excitement

“Really? That’s so cool!”

I knew you

"Y/N what do you think? Do you think he'd like this for his birthday?"

"Why are you asking me? You're his brother!"

"Yeah but you know him better than anyone else"

Hand under my sweatshirt

"Jason Peter Todd get your cold ass hands out from under my sweatshirt!"

"What do you mean princess?" He dragged his freezing cold hands further up her back

"Eek!"

Baby, kiss it better, I

Y/N carefully finished wrapping the bandages around Jason's waist.

"I can't believe you got stabbed!"

"Kiss it better?"

"Dork." She pressed a kiss to his bandages, before making her way up to his lips.

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan

Under someone's bed

You put me on and said I was your favorite

“What’s got you down princess?” Jason quirked an eyebrow, the moment Y/N entered the manor there was an unhappy energy on her, like she was faking her smile. He knew her all too well. “Come here”. He opened his arms to her, gesturing that she should come lay with him on the excessively large couch (rich people bro) and she happily obliged, latching onto his side like a koala with her head on his chest.

“It’s just… I don’t know, sometimes I feel like an old cardigan, under someone’s bed. Just… forgotten.”

“I could never forget you. Sometimes people lose things that are important to them. If you’re an old cardigan then I’m finding you and putting you on because the whole time you were my favorite.” He pressed a kiss to her hair.

“How poetic” She could feel his chest shake as he laughed.

“What can I say? I’m a man of literature. Speaking of which! Do you want to watch Pride and Prejudice?”

“Again?”

“Yes, AgAiN”

Y/N looked up at her boyfriend, beaming. “Always.”

A friend to all is a friend to none

“You can’t keep acting like nothing is going on Jason. You love her, so why are you friends with someone like the asshole who ruined her reputation?”

“Dammit Dick, I didn’t even know that he was the one who did that until a week ago!”

“And you’ve hung out with him twice since then! A friend to all is a friend to none, Jaybird.”

Chase two girls, lose the one

Surely all of Gotham had heard them arguing from their favorite spot on the roof of the library.

“Jason I understand that you want to go meet your birth mother, but why does that mean you have to not be in touch for an undetermined amount of time? I don’t understand why finding her means leaving me!” Y/N hadn’t meant to shout. She wasn’t actually mad at him. She understood why he wanted to go, but that didn’t make him leaving hurt any less. Why should she have to lose contact with him, let him run off to another continent without any knowledge of if he was okay?

“Sweetheart I’m not leaving you, I’m just trying to find my mom…”

“Yeah, at the expense of me! Jay I will never prevent you from doing something this important to you but that will not change the fact that this hurts me. That I’ll be lying awake at night not knowing if you’re okay or if you’re even going to want me when you come home! Not even being able to ask Bruce if you’re okay because you plan on doing this without his knowledge! For fucks sake Jason do you realize how that would feel?”

“God dammit Y/N why can’t you just be happy for me?”

“Because you’re LEAVING ME. You know what, go ahead and go Jason. You’re choosing to chase two girls and you’ve lost this one.” She made her way down, trying not to let her hands shake from all the emotional turmoil, at least not until she was on the ground again. There was no way she would know how much she’d regret saying that to him.

When you are young, they assume you know nothing

“It’s your first heartbreak Y/N, you’ll get over it. It was teenage puppy love, something was bound to happen.” Her father had no clue. It had been days and she hadn’t heard from Jason. Last she checked with Alfred, Bruce had followed him out to the middle east somewhere.

“This was, this is so much more than that. You’re doing it again, assuming that because I’m young I must know nothing.”

“Clearly you don’t know anything.”

But I knew you

“When were you gonna tell me that you being a literature nerd was knowledge Dick wasn’t supposed to get his hands on?” Y/N gave him a look. The look that says ‘i didn't know this was a secret so you can't be upset i spilled’

“Shit princess please don’t tell me you told him… he’ll never let me live it down!”

“Oops?” She shrugged. He started to say something else but she kissed him before the words could escape. “It’s alright Jay, it makes you a romantic. And it means I know you better than him.”

Jason smiled. “I guess you’re right…”

Playing hide-and-seek and

“Do you wanna play hide and seek?”

“Sweetheart aren’t we too old for that?”

“Who said that? Come onnn"

“Y/N.”

“Hm?”

“You know I can’t say no to you.”

Giving me your weekends, I

“You know we don’t have to spend every weekend together right? You can hang out with your friends or your family if you want.”

“Why would I do that when I could give you all my weekends?”

I knew you

"How did you know to tell Bruce I wanted adjustments on the Robin bike?"

"Because I'm just cool like that. And i know you. Now come on let's take it for a spin!"

Your heartbeat on the High Line

Y/N pressed the side of her head to Jason's chest as a stranger took their photo on the High Line. The trip to New York had been spontaneous, something they'd decided to do for spring break.

After taking her phone back from the kind stranger and thanking them, Y/N turned to her dear boyfriend.

"I could hear your heartbeat you know."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, you'd think it was our first date or something." Y/n grinned.

"Because you make me feel... I don't know, like Pip if Estella was actually good for him?"

"Did you just reference Great Expectations at me as a way of expressing your feelings?"

"Maybe?"

"Kiss me."

Once in twenty lifetimes, I

Y/N often thought of how her mother had once told her that true teenage love like the one she had with Jason only came once in 20 lifetimes. Although, in retrospect maybe it's twice in two lifetimes, or once in one, for the partner who didn't die.

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan

Under someone's bed

You put me on and said I was your favorite

"Would I still be your favorite person if I was a worm?"

"Well no cause you wouldn't be a person anymore, but you'd be my favorite worm-"

"You know what? I'll take it."

"You'll always be my favorite."

To kiss in cars

"Jason Todd you are a menace to society."

"What? How?"

"You brought me out to Bruce's Rolls-Royce to make out."

"So?"

and downtown bars

"Who would've thought the boy wonder had a fake ID?"

"Maybe his girlfriend who's cousin made it for him"

"What? Which one?"

Jason smirked at her, knowing it was going to eat her alive not knowing yes im projecting how nosy i am onto the y/n "Sorry princess, that stays a secret"

Was all we needed

You drew stars around my scars

"Jason it's just an old scar from scraping my knee a little too deep, it's no big deal!"

He continued drawing small stars around any scars he found on her, gently dragging the red marker along her skin. "I didn't say it was!"

But now I'm bleedin'

When Jason hadn’t come back, Y/N had done one of the only things she promised him she would never do: taking up vigilantism. She told Bruce it was only temporary. She told herself it was only temporary. But the longer she was in the game the more attached to it she became.

"FUCK!" Y/N yelped as she sat on her bathroom counter, pressing a damp rag to her wound, carefully wiping it off. "God dammit, I used to be patching up Jason's stab wounds, not getting stabbed..." She picked up her phone, dialing the only number she cared to call anymore.

"Yeah, Dick? Can you come over real quick? Need you to make sure this stab wound doesn't kill me..."

The audible "WHAT" echoed throughout the bathroom, despite the phone not being on speaker.

'Cause I knew you

"How'd you know I'd be here?"

Y/N found Jason at their spot on the roof of the library after Dick informed her that he'd had a particularly rough argument with Bruce.

"Because I know you better than anyone else."

Steppin' on the last train

Jason dragged Y/N towards the last train of the night, what they never knew would be their final date before everything went astray.

"Come on! The last train is the best one!"

Marked me like a bloodstain, I

The image of Jason, dead, being carried away by Bruce was forever marked in Y/N's head. He was dead. There was nothing else to say.

I knew you

Speaking at Jason's small memorial was never something Y/N saw herself doing.

"I uh- I really don't know what to say. You all always said I knew him better than anyone else, and I just wish I could've known the way to prevent this."

Tried to change the ending

Y/N tried so hard to change the ending of her story. Make it so she wasn't just the girl who lost herself in grief. But until unless she saw Jason again, nothing was going to happen.

Peter losing Wendy, I

As she sat there writing 'Cardigan' it occurred to her that Peter losing Wendy was a choice, and her losing Jason never was, but it fit. Their love was a magic only to be found in Neverland.

I knew you

"Hey Red, do I know you from somewhere in civilian life? You seem familiar..."

"No way, too new in town, sorry."

She knew she knew him. She just couldn't place why...

Leavin' like a father

Even though she'd told him just to go, Jason still stopped by Y/N's house before he left to find his mother.

"Please don't leave me Jay." She cupped his cheeks, pressing his forehead to hers as tears streamed down her face

"Don't cry baby, I'll be back before you know it."

Running like water, I

Of course, Y/N hadn't known the identity of the Red Hood the first time she'd spotted him. All she had time to think was wondering why such a large man, with guns nonetheless, ran from her like she was out to get him.

And when you are young, they assume you know nothing

"Why do people love to assume that because I'm young I must know nothing about love or heartbreak?" Y/N had asked one day. No one answered. No one knew, they only knew that they were all too aware of just how much she truly knew about both of those things.

But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss

"I want a blue jay on my forearm. Full color. Can you do that?"

Y/N had walked into the tattoo parlor like she owned the place. She needed a way to let him permanently linger. The kiss of a needle in her skin the only way to physically represent him.

I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs

"What if I had made him stay?!"

"Y/N there's nothing you could've done that would change things."

"But what if—"

"There was nothing any of us could do."

The smell of smoke would hang around this long

"Thought you told me that you quit smoking years ago Red."

"Yeah, well, old habits die hard."

"Rough day huh?"

"Yeah. Girlfriend from before all this almost saw me in the library today. She doesn't know about me."

"About you being a vigilante?"

"She thinks I'm dead."

"You know, maybe I'll do this and be totally mistaken and realize im delusional, but I swear to whatever fucking god is listening if i tear off that domino mask and Jason Todd is under there I will be pushing you off this rooftop."

"If I've been hanging out with Y/N this whole time I'm throwing myself off."

'Cause I knew everything when I was young

Y/N was playing a show in Los Angeles, touring at age 15 was insane, but then again, she never thought anyone would listen to her music.

"Alright everyone, I may be young, but I also consider myself to be quite versed in romance, who knows, maybe it's my lovely boyfriend, or the fact that I'm a hopeless romantic, but either way, this one's called Favorite Record!"

Even at a young age, she'd known everything she needed to about love, because it encased her every moment she spent with her favorite person.

I knew I'd curse you for the longest time

She sat at Jason's grave in the Wayne family plot for more hours than she could count, swearing at his headstone

"God dammit! Why didn't you come home? Why didn't you come back to me?" Sobs wracked her body. "I was waiting for you to come home."

Chasin' shadows in the grocery line

Every once in a while Y/N would see someone and think someone was him. Maybe it was her brain's sick way of coping. She reached towards the stranger in front of her.

"Excuse me-"

But when he turned around Jason was gone. It was just another high school boy who had vaguely reminiscent hair.

I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired

A knock came on Y/N's bedroom window. She opened it warily before the Red Hood came clinking in.

"Thrill of letting me think you were dead over?"

"Y/N please-"

"Did you sit and watch as I grieved? Stand by while I lost my mind because I thought I'd lost you?"

"Sweetheart just let me explain–"

"Don't fucking 'sweetheart' me. Get out. Get out of my fucking room."

And you'd be standin' in my front porch light

"Get off my damn porch Jason." He was standing in civilian clothes, shuffling his feet nervously as if he was a little kid again.

"Not until you let me explain!"

"Fine. You get to come in for five minutes. See if you can explain to me how there is any way you can justify this."

And I knew you'd come back to me

Y/N sat with her jaw slack in shock after hearing Jason's story. How saying he died wasn't even a lie, how he'd been brought back, the madness he'd experienced, the resentment for nobody killing the Joker. (she flat out told him she would've if she thought she could do it without getting herself killed in the process)

"i'm such a fucking asshole."

"No you aren't"

"No you went through this whole traumatic experience and I've just been a dick to you!"

"And it's been totally justified! You should've been the first person to find out I was back. Honestly I'm surprised Dick or Bruce didn't tell you..."

"I'm going to ignore the urge to castrate both of them and just be happy you came back to me."

You'd come back to me

"I'll always come back to you."

And you'd come back to me

"Make sure you come back in one piece?" They were on the same mission, much to Jason's dismay, but they had to be split up.

"When have I ever not come back to you?"

"...."

"Don't answer that."

And you'd come back

They'd made it out of that atrocious mission. It all worked out in the end but it certainly had taken longer than they planned.

"hey, you came back in one piece, just like I asked."

"I always do, just for you."

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan

Under someone's bed

You put me on and said I was your favorite

Y/N heard Jason coming in. His duffel bag clunked loudly against their closet floor, and she assumed he changed out of his gear at a safehouse before returning to their apartment. She flipped over the edge of the blanket, making room for him to crawl in bed with her. Once sufficiently comfortable behind her, arms wrapped tightly around her waist, Jason spoke.

"Hey Y/N?"

She turned around in his arms so she could face him. "Uh oh, you didn't call me any kind of pet name, just my name, whats up?"

"Nothing I just... I just wanted to let you know you're still my favorite."

The tears were flowing freely by then. The audience screamed, cheering at the sweet song. “My favorite person didn’t get to be around for a while, but… he came back to me, and that’s all that matters. Now that's enough crying, I’ve got some much more fun songs, ARE YOU READY GOTHAM CITY!?” And with that, the show went on.

Hours later, Y/N made her way backstage, where she was immediately enveloped by the arms of a mystery man. She wasn’t scared though, she knew who it was. Her arms wrapped around his neck as he spun her around.

He sat her down gently, beaming. “You wrote a song about me?” “Jay… baby a lot of my songs are about you.”

“What?”

“I’m going to ignore the fact that you managed to not know that even though I’ve told you before.”

“I just assumed you weren’t serious!”

“... You really think that Lover or Lucky People or Favorite Record, could have possibly been about anyone else?”

“And if I just like hearing you say it?”

“Then I’ll tell you forever.” When their lips met, it was a promise, one that this, this feeling in this moment, was real, and that it wouldn’t ever go away, because they knew everything when they were young.

#jason todd #jason todd x reader #the red hood #red hood x reader #jason todd imagine #jason todd fluff #jason todd angst #red hood angst #oh how i love this man #need to marry him NOW

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