eaapseudonym18 - Tumblr blog

eaapseudonym18 · 2 months

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eaapseudonym18 · 4 months

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eaapseudonym18 · 5 months

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eaapseudonym18 · 7 months

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eaapseudonym18 · 7 months

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28/9/23

Door’s locked; Keys swayed; Bag’s packed; Fled away; I walk down the stairs I’ll never ascend on. I walk down to my street I’ll never come back to. My heart has been admitted in the hospital since 2 years, 5 months, 5 days, 20 hours, 21 minutes. Now, that I’m running away, leaving all my wretched love diseases behind. Maybe one day I’ll come back to this city, to your house, knocking your door. Before it’s too late, i should leave or my eyes will get cold. Later i was released from the hospital, i packed all my feelings in a bag, to escape this cage of haunt. I took a bath, maybe one last time i cleansed my smudge, but i left the apartment dusty, lacerated, I had to……because once it was touched. Before leaving, i stared at the ceiling once again with a hundred thoughts “maybe you know who i am”. I couldn’t stop crying over the painting on the walls, you drew when you were sober enough to fall. It’s impossible to get you off my mind. I’ve understood when you never said “you’re mine”. I think about a hundred thoughts and you are ninety nine. I moved to city where I’m never known. It’s so quite here even the sun’s sore. I never get drunk though i trip, I can’t stand straight. I flew overseas to watch the rain dance, it’s snow showering. I flew overseas to let my brain buy some peace, it’s shattering over your memories and our first kiss. I don’t intend to return but already bought a ticket before. If I don’t intend to be the one, would you try me once more? If i unpack all my bags, you’d find nothing but sorrows. If i get the keys back would you come back home from shallows? There’s no IF so I’ll keep the doors opened, incase you miss me and wanna say “Hello”. When I’ll come back home to stay, would you walk by my house on your way? When you’ll come on the door, before entering i’ll look in your eyes, instead of rolling . Please say “You’re mine”. I’ll gently pull you by your chubby waist, enforcing your elegant, suavely exquisite face. I’ll look into your eyes whilst keeping your forehead on mine and I’ll whisper “My Life”. زارا

eAa/.pseudonym_18

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eaapseudonym18 · 7 months

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Crepuscular rays

Crystal clouds ain’t soothing anymore, Coruscation of thunders serenes the pain i wore

Underneath rainy sky untethered birds restraints high, Alienation of hearts forages solace to unabashedly cry.

Given the name of love, i often ask affliction to smile, Excruciation of wounds again begins to bleed in style.

Seclusion strikes upon the underground veil, Unheard voices smites as waves to forsake my prevail.

Crystal clouds ain’t soothing anymore, Dusky, Eeyorish showers are like pulchritudinous shore.

eAa/.pseudonym_18

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eaapseudonym18 · 8 months

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Monday, 12:03 PM 5th September 2016,

I feel like a star without light Drained like a plant with no air I know that this feelings not right You keep showing you no longer care Why can't you let me dissolve Fade away into the sea I don't want you growing old And regretting that you'd chosen me It's best if we just turn away Forgive me for all that I've done You have no reason to stay Life’s not meant for some Even storm confers a second chance Why can’t i have one?

How can air be so heavy How can silence be so loud Unsaid words are so clear They form weightless clouds No matter how hard I shut my ears Powerful thunder tells me all my fears The tiniest needle slices my skin, Is this blood dripping from your scarf’s pin? My wisdom is built upon words unsaid and the memories of you I keep in my head But nature can't be cheated on. So are you really gone? “Donec venias in retro domum suam” eAa/.pseudonym_18. زارا

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eaapseudonym18 · 8 months

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Curse Convalescing

I’m no more who i was, Now revamped to who i never thought of.

The evanescence of my poetries are here, Whilst the belligerent writing is relentlessly near.

I am no one but a man who’d rather to be a writer, so an inadvertent lover I become.

Once my proclivity clench an alchemy, The world fell in love with you through Essa’s poetry.

I convene my breath as to see my misery coming, I convene my breath as to hear my melancholia screaming.

My blighted scar starts to burn, The curse of solitary once again returns…

eAa/.pseudonym_18

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eaapseudonym18 · 9 months

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For you My devotion has always been infinite as this open sky.

eAa/.pseudonym_18

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eaapseudonym18 · 10 months

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Unheralded Colloquy

There once was a girl who loved me from her core, Her eyes spoke her decency, I’ve never heard before.

There once was a girl, little oblivious but beguiling my world. She could cast spells of her own, likewise i fell in love with her hair curl.

There once was a girl with blonde skin and brunette hair, Her smile smoked the world, causing inception of love in my heart

There once was a girl who i loved from my core, My eyes spoke my loyalty, she never heard before.

eAa/.pseudonym_18

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eaapseudonym18 · 11 months

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Late Last Night

I go for a drive, i sit in woods, There’s lightning with blood in my path, What it’d be if “could” have been replaced with “should”.

I go for a bath, i cry in my own arms, There’s a ocean sunk in my heart, What it’d be if i let you in, would you scuttle or swim and bath?

I go for a run, i stop to pant but forsooth to laugh, There’s a misery coming behind, What it’d be if i get caught, would it let me live or cut me from the middle of half?

I go to bed, i serenade to sleep, There’s a lot to scream yet i choose to speak, What it’d be if i start to scream? Would you hold me or let me be weak?

eAa/.pseudonym_18

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eaapseudonym18 · 1 year

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2nd year, 25th day.

It took a little time to where you wanted. It took a little time to get free. It took a little time to be honest. It took a little time to be mean. I took a little lover but then we parted. It took a little time to get over this BUT from time to time I get heavy hearted. Thinking of how you used to kiss. Do you really wanna know about these lines on my face? Each and every one is testimony of all the mistakes i’ve made. I sit here in my apartment once again. I open my book to see your picture. I open my phone to see your old text back. I now don’t open my window anymore to see new azured blue sky. I acknowledged love, when you came to me. Everything I had became yours. Everything I AM is yours. You took me for a ride even though we weren’t same. You held my hand in yours. Knowing you would leave it. It took me a while to acknowledged what you did and what did you say. I saw your florescent smile. They were same when you came. As when you said goodbye and my name. I left by my demons at the door. To wipe my soul to make it yours. I’m caged, when I came out of my room to our hall. I sigh and closed my room’s door to cry on my old shattered wall. I cried and cried then heard the music in the air. Would you still be mine if the heart wouldn’t be shared? Remember kissing me through the cobblestone then whispering those 3 words in the middle of the night through telephone. Now you say love is burning thing. I cannot seek, you cannot hide. Your secret is a secret i will never find. I don’t know where to go, I don’t know where to find. All the secret I just wanna go and put them aside. You weren’t blind, I was just missing. Vows that were made, you remember but to forget. Anything and everything and all the things we said. I haven’t seen you in a while, did you lose your weight? All the broken has its pattern and yours is here to stay. Your only weakness is my sadness. You know that deep inside your soul. It’s not better, it’s only worse and I don’t know where to go. Your little pearled eyes they’re escaping, escaping from my glance. Take a step and come back, this is our only chance. I’m caged again. This time you just stand there in the glass looking at me. My heart is torrefied. Don’t let me bleed. Believe me or come and see.

eAa/.pseudonym_18

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eaapseudonym18 · 1 year

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entr’acte

I sit at my door step lingering for you, To endure my loiter i behold outside my house There’s an excellently shaped out world just as new.

I sit at my door step to transcend my restraint, Penance for becoming a lover but mistaken So to beguile my sentence I’m writer once again.

I sit at my door step thirsting to hear my doorbell, Ting-Tong it goes but it was no one but my debacle An uninvited welcome of misery it was spelled.

I sit at my door step counting days as stars, Day-1 was when it injured the most Now its been 745 days and still it torments as unwilted scar.

I sit on my door step waiting for you……

eAa/.pseudonym_18

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eaapseudonym18 · 1 year

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Home Sick

I’ve been sitting in a silence for a while, Once on a couch, twice by a window side.

I’ve been prevailing morose in a room for a while, Once on a wall, twice by an aisle.

I’ve been keeping quite after a covetous smile, Once i wrote, twice awhile.

I’ve been dawdling in my poetry for a while, Once in a night, twice in a daylight.

I’d end my poetry…now that I don’t have words to inscribe, Once i could bleed ink, twice i could make it write.

eAa/.pseudonym_18

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eaapseudonym18 · 1 year

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Covetous Traffic

i see you in the cities i travel to in local markets, restaurants and shopping malls decorated in their culture to fulfil your dreams reading books, wandering the streets, climbing walls but without you! hypnotizing my soul to enchant me further with your mischievous eyes, delicate smile, calming voice i longingly steal a glimpse but with no choice your smile fade, I’m startled again and you vanish into the city noise.

eAa/.pseudonym_18

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eaapseudonym18 · 1 year

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Dusky Adieu

Today i sat beside the shore to once again hear your fiercely howl, While sun kissed me its goodbye it reminiscence the last day of your soul.

Today i sat beside the shore as dead from the social world, lively within their heart to trounce yours more Forbye charismatically spry in deputy to your hole.

Today i sat beside the shore to awe your filthy swore, As i yet keep my heart open whilst you closed yours door.

Today i sat beside the shore to uncork my credence’s corpse, Since i privy your malice aforethought. Yet i acceded you to have me explored.

eAa/.pseudonym_18

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eaapseudonym18 · 1 year

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Cacoethes Smirk

Nothing is real as it seems Questioning nothing but everything When love turns to fire I hate but i wear my belligerent smile When truth turns to lies You love but to witness me die. I can run or I can walk But i can never fly to get a rise So i can’t run, i can’t walk When the war is in my heart. How can i stand to fight when i myself is drowning apart Kingdom that i earned has turned to dust All that i love, killed and took em’ away as i was the coldest dirty mud blood.

eAa/.pseudonym_18

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