#...candy? mixed candy? is there supposed to be a specific name? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

prettyboykatsuki · 3 years

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eat your heart out | s. hitoshi

➳ tags ;; 18+ mdni, femdom, escort!shinso, sugar mommy / client reader, fem!reader, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, porn with plot, mutual masturbation, sub!shinso, kinda bratty shinso, reader is rich n powerful, facesitting, unprotected sex / creampies, shinso is a lil insecure, wine / alcohol (both parties r mostly sober), heavy praise kink lol, no titles, mouth-spitting (u spit wine into shinso mouf)

➳ wc ;; 10.2k (i’ve lost my mind ..)

➳ a/n ;; inspired by the song ‘the hills’ by the weeknd. sorry it’s a little late!

➳ plot ;; shinso hitoshi is an escort and you are his favorite client. the weird thing about it is that well.. you’ve never actually slept with him before. after spending a day with you and the influence of a little alcohol - he can’t help but wonder why.

The elevator plays a familiar tune

It’s always a Frank Sinatra song in this hotel, on the eastern end of Kyoto. It’s a big building, reaching the heavens despite it’s almost unholy architecture. All glass, bulletproof windows that surround the lowest floor like a skeleton, and floors of hotel rooms stacked on top of each other like Jenga. Despite the time - somewhere after midnight but a little ways before dawn, every single room is lit up with familiar yellow lights. The city never sleeps, he supposes.

It’s always busy, the luxury hotel boasts more than just rooms and suites but a casino in the basement and a buffet somewhere towards the back. With all of the work under his belt, he still feels like he has to catch his breath when he enters here. The receptionist's desk is made of a stained, glossy cherry wood and hosts a big chandelier over the top of it. There’s a petite woman working at the front desk - she looks unusually relaxed.

A lingering scent of dark liquor is always the most obvious thing, mixed in with expensive cologne and cheap perfume. He watches older men with women half their age seated in their lap. The women in these places are always beautiful, no matter how much they cut corners for their job. All types of bodies in all types of clothes with little underneath them. The only difference between an escort and a prostitute is the material of their outfit, really.

They have hungry gazes when he enters the foyer. Like animals maybe, raring to go at the sight of him. Dressed in an expensive dress-shirt, slacks, and a blazer hung lazily over his shoulder. He can understand the confusion.

He doesn’t have the heart to explain they’re of the same profession so he normally gives them a soft wave and a wink - whatever gets them to smile quicker. And after that they giggle and go back to entertaining whatever rich man has bought their attention for the night.

He thinks he’s been in this field for too long for this to make him sick but he can’t help but wince a little every time. His stomach churns with something wide and vague, something that leaves a bitter feeling in his mouth.

He drapes himself over the receptionist desk with a lazy grin.

“Hello, here for a room under the last name L/N?”

The woman at the desk has her eyes widen at the sight of him. He doesn’t consider himself all that interesting looking but he knows he’s handsome. She blushes as she types something into her computer swiftly.

“Name and ID?”

He slips his wallet out from his back pocket before reciting his name back to her. A few more brief moments of waiting and slips him a slim and all black keycard. She can’t bring her eyes to look at him again.

“Y-you’re on the 7th floor,”

He gives her a quick smile, patting the desk with his palms and snatching some candy out of the little bowl.

“Thank you,”

He turns on his heel, popping a mint into his mouth before throwing away the wrapper in an overly glamorous trash can near the elevator. He presses the little button and waits - pleased to see that no one else would be accompanying him.

He slips himself into the empty elevator and immediately presses the button for the 7th floor. It’s Frank Sinatra - specifically ‘I’ve Got A Crush On You’, playing at almost full volume. The melody is soft and light. He hums it under his breath as the doors start to close in front of him, getting a final glance at the foyer before they do.

This whole place is surrounded by mirrors, so he steps back and checks his appearance. He looks a little more disheveled than he really wants too, given he was just with another client. His beard is scratchy per the request of his last one and he really hasn’t gotten a lot of sleep. His body is physically spent and he’s worn out beyond belief from last night.

The money in his pocket prevents him from being upset but he wishes he could look a little better for you. The thought of it has him blushing, skin faintly pink as he pokes and prods at his appearance. Straightening his slacks, fixing his button down.

He knows it’s entirely unnecessary. Acting brand new with you really makes no sense at all. You’re his longest client, and his favorite one of all of his regulars. It’d probably be an understatement to call you special but he knows it’s true.

It’s silly to think about it too hard, but he can’t really control it. His stomach turns and flips but before it can too long - the elevators pry themselves open. He’s greeted by a seemingly never-ending hallway. The floor is draped in a lush carpet, velvety red and the walls have the most expensive and white-gold wall-papers. He’s been in this exact position a million times, it’s always the same room and the same place. The same hotel.

Everything about it is exceptionally familiar to him but the nervous feeling in his belly is unrelenting. Unforgiving, really. He steps out of the elevator and walks into the main hallway - looking both ways only to find it devoid of any life. The air is stale and ice cold in his lungs as he walks towards the door.

727 sits pretty on the front, plastered on a cream-colored piece of wood and hung up. He knocks on the dark grey door 3 times, and taps his foot anxiously. There’s some shuffling on the other side and when the door swings open.

He’s seen this, done this, experienced this a million times before. But no matter how many times he looks at you - he feels like the air is being knocked out of his lungs. With his breath snatched from right beyond his ribs, he gives a soft and wide-eyed stare.

You answer the door with a lazy smile - nude lipstick softly smeared and dark eye-shadow partly smudged. It’s how you do your makeup when you’re going to parties, he’s come to realize. You must’ve just gotten here, the way you’re still dressed in your clothes. It’s a pantsuit - all black with a low-dip on your chest. It reaches a bit past the floor so it bunches at your slippered feet. He stumbles back, his heart hammering upon laying lavender eyes on you.

“Hey, stranger,” ― you greet, hanging off the doorframe ― “Nice of you to finally make it,”

Shinso gives you a sheepish smile as you move out the way for him to enter, shutting the door softly behind him. He can feel your eyes on his figure as you lean on the wall and watch him slip off his dress shoes and put on slippers. You take pleasure in watching him and he knows that, can tell as much.

If he didn’t feel so nervous around you - he might’ve been smug about it.

“Sorry I’m late,” ― he replies, slipping his blazer onto a chair before turning to face you ― “Finding an Uber this late on a Thursday night was rough,”

You shake your head as if telling him not to worry about it. You lock the door behind you as you step to him. Shinso is taller than you by a few inches, enough that you have to reach your hand up. You cup his face with your palm and he relaxes into it without so much as a second though.

That funny feeling stirs inside of him again, chewing on his lower lip as you greet him with such affection.

“No worries, Shin,” ― your voice is remarkably low ― “Are you alright?”

He knows this isn’t really about his mental state as much as it’s literal. You always ask him that out of instinct. He thinks you have a sixth sense about when he’s been with a client or maybe the exhaustion is just that obvious. He isn’t sure he wants to find out which one it is. He blinks at you, skin pink, almost nuzzling into your hands. That hungry feeling returns with no subtly as he nods.

“She was gentle with me,” ― he tells you, unsure of how to be in front of you, like always ― “I’m fine,”

You pat his cheek before removing yourself from him. And the affection and warmth is gone too quickly for his liking - he’s hoping he’ll get lucky tonight and that you’ll ask him to come lay with you for a while.

“Have you eaten anything?”

As if on cue, his stomach rumbles faintly causing you to break out into giggles as he blushes even harder. Without missing a beat, you hand him a book for room service and sit next on the edge of the bed, patting the spot beside you.

“Come here and tell me what you wanna eat, yeah?” ― you lean back, shaking out a crick in your neck ― “I’ll order it for you while you’re in the shower,”

He gives you a confused look but sits next to you anyways, flipping through the menu as he balances it on his leg and yours.

“I don’t have any clothes,”

You chuckle a little, patting his knees.

“I bought you some,”

A strange feeling settles inside of his heart upon your words. He squirms a little in his seat, scratching the back of his neck before clicking his teeth.

“Tsk, you didn’t have to -”

“Do that for you. Just tell me to bring clothes next time,” ― you finish for him, laughing lightly ― “Spare me the lecture, Shin - I’ve heard it a million times already,”

He glares at you playfully before sighing, dropping his head onto your shoulder. His head feels light, skin tingly.

“Whatever,” ― he huffs ― “..Thanks, though,”

This makes you laugh again and Shinso ignores the way his whole body reacts to the sound. The little pleasantry shouldn’t have this much of an effect on him. He hopes and prays you can’t hear the way his heart sounds.

“Yeah, yeah - you’re welcome. Now pick something out and go shower,”

You already know what he wants to eat but you watch with content as he goes through the menu anyways. It’s always the same - fried chicken and some form of potatoes and sometimes he’ll let him get dessert. Most of the time, you order it for him even though he never asks and it seems like today is one of those days.

He points out the same thing, like you had predicted before grabbing the bag of clothes and heading to the shower. You don’t look at him twice when he leaves, grabbing the remote and immediately getting comfortable in the wide, queen bed.

The bathroom is a nice reprieve to cool Shinso’s nerves.

It’s huge, this bathroom. Meant for a couple - given the way there’s a heart-shaped bathtub, rose-petals, and a large bottle of bubble-bath soap sitting on the counter, wrapped in ribbon. The ceilings are high and it’s well-lit like you could see every detail - but there’s a little knob to dim the lights too.

He stares at himself in the big, oval mirror. He can almost tell how flustered he is as he stares at himself for a long while. Silky purple locks now droop with the heaviness of the day, and his eyebags are worse than usual. It’d be polite to call him haggard and he finds himself embarrassed to look at his reflection.

Really, he just finds himself embarrassed to exist in your presence. For as long as this exchange has gone on, Shinso always ends up at his wits end. He checks his appearance with urgency and can’t help but zone out as he thinks about every single thing he’s done since he arrived with an ever increasing amount of scrutiny.

He decides promptly that these are thoughts that belong in the shower so he sighs and turns away from the mirror - stripping himself of his clothes. He unbuttons the white dress shirt and shrugs it off his shoulders, undoing his belt and ungracefully tugging his pants and boxer briefs down in one fell swoop. The sudden feeling of cold air all over his body makes him shiver.

He turns again to examine his figure. His body is muscular in its own right but he’s mostly lean muscle. His torso is thin and his stomach is flat but nothing about him is all that defined other than his upper arms. His forearms are thick and veiny.

His entire body could be described as an acquired taste he thinks. Even bare naked, he doesn’t think he’s all that bad to look at. He’s exceptionally well-kept thanks to his job - hair above his dick trimmed nicely. He’s clean everywhere. There’s nothing.. wrong with him physically he doesn’t think.

Shaking his head, he opens the glass shower door, turns the water as hot as it can go, and steps inside.

With a clean loofah hanging dry on the wall, he squirts some hotel shower gel into it and starts to scrub over every inch of skin. He showered before coming but he still feels grimy, so it’s a nice feeling. The hot water relaxes his muscles as he lets his thoughts drift again.

If he wasn’t entirely spent, he’d also probably have his dick in his hand. There’s a routine to all of this and that’s normally part of it but his body is at peak exhaustion right now. His eyes already feel heavy and he can only hope he doesn’t pass out in the shower.

Despite all that, his head is only filled with thoughts of you, the same thing he always thinks when he ends up here..

Why haven’t you had sex with him yet?

It’s funny, isn’t it?

For most escorts he knows, the part about having sex can be the worst part of the job. Even for high-end escorts like Hitoshi himself - ultimately your body is a product more than your work is a service. You’re being paid to be whatever your client wants and it changes all the time, varies from client to client.

He has it a little easier because he’s a male escort, and most of his regulars have been mostly women in their 40’s and 50’s with a lot of money who are looking for the ‘boyfriend’ experience. It’s really a stroke of luck, all things considered. All of the women in his field have to deal with old men who have a nasty reputation of being disgusting, no pun intended. Having heard even half of the things some of his friends have said about it - he knows it to be true too.

Some people don’t mind the sex part since they don’t really think that being an escort is more than that. A true professional knows that escorting is having to play a little bit of every role - the therapist, the partner, the temptress. High-end callboys and girls are responsible for being more than just a thing to fuck and take out their stress and the better you are at your job, the easier it is to find regulars.

Other people find it degrading but most people just consider it an often annoying part of the job. You are a fantasy on legs - and you get quite handsome tips for being filthier than you ever really plan on being at the start. The sex isn’t always to your liking. It’s too rough or too much and most of your clients aren’t exactly looking to be giving partners.

It’s easier than being on the street corner (safer, too) but he’d argue the mental strain is a lot more exhausting. He feels like he’s playing a role and it’s not one he always enjoys. A lot of his regulars are nice women- most of them lonely with husbands who rarely ever come home. Some of them are downright bad people.

But beggars can’t be choosers so Shinso does what he does best and slinks into whatever role they want him to play. Some nights he’s a mean and callous secret affair - he pulls hair and clashes teeth and lets them scratch his back up.

Other nights he’s a sweet and endearing lover, he holds them and whispers sweet nothings and listens to them complain about their problems like he cares.

Almost all of the time though, it ends in sex. It’s not particularly meaningful or particularly good sex. The whole act has essentially lost its meaning for him, especially in a casual way.

Sex is just sex. Part of the job. And he can have it with his eyes closed but it doesn’t really feel like anything. Mostly, he wants it to be over so he can go home and get some sleep. The whole field of work is exhausting on his spirit.

But it pays rent, and it’s food on the table - and he’s really not in any place to question it when it ends up being so important. He avoids thinking about it too hard when he can because there’s not really any reason to do so.

He finds it.. odd though. That despite knowing all of this, he gets this horrible discomfort at the fact you don’t seem to wanna sleep with him.

Shinso’s self-worth has never been all that high, but he can say with certainty he’s good at his job. He’s handsome enough to catch eyes everywhere he goes. He’s strong, always smells good, is witty and intelligent. Good in bed. He’s good on paper.

Maybe it’s because you knew him when he wasn’t any of those things. After all, you were his longest regular. He wasn’t as put-together about this whole ordeal, so nervous around everything that so much as breathed in his direction. He’d gone to a party that night to look for clients in the ballroom of a place just down the street from this very hotel.

You took him up on his services but didn’t sleep with him. You didn’t even kiss him or touch him. Instead, you sat in a hotel room together and drank the entire night. Shinso confessed to you his life story - why he’s here and how he’d never done this before. He expected you to take him on his offer and at least ask for some oral or something. But you didn’t. You simply shook your head at him and told him that wasn’t necessary.

Then you let him talk to you some more. You told him about yourself - you’re head of a big company and child of a powerful man. You have more money than you know what to do with so you came to this event. Apparently, you weren’t expecting much but you found him handsome and that’s why you’re here now.

He still remembers blushing at your words as you took another sip. The light flush in your skin as you giggled at his still shy demeanor.

You’re older than Shinso by three years. He was 22 and you were 25. It’s been three years since then and Shinso’s grown up a lot, he thinks. Maybe you won't sleep with him because you know all this is an act or maybe you never found him attractive to begin with.

He knows it shouldn’t matter. No matter what you do, you pay Shinso almost three times his rent every single time he’s with you. You do it once a month, just on time - and you never do anything more than talk. If you’re tipsy enough or tired enough, you’ll let him lay on your chest as you vent but never anything farther than that. Not once have you crossed the boundary with him of intimacy like that.

You’re just a client and this is just a simple relationship, an exchange of words for money. He knows that better than anyone.

But he can’t help but feel.. shitty about it . He can’t help but wonder what's wrong with him if you don’t want him in a physical way. Maybe it’s because you know about all his baggage so intimately you can’t bring yourself to sleep with him out of pity.

He knows it shouldn’t matter but it does. It matters so much to him he hardly knows what to do with himself over the fact you won’t sleep with him and you’ve never even shown any interest.

Romantic relationships in this field are something of a complete anomaly. It might work if you're dating your pimp or madam, maybe if you’re both escorts even - but with the way things tended to be, it was hard. Shinso had 0 expectations of a love life for however long he was at this job.

But if there are words to describe this never ending longing better than “love”, he’d be hard-pressed to find it.

It’s really a whole pain in this ass to admit it to even himself, in his head. Romantic feelings? For a client? He’s out of his damn mind.

But you treat him so.. kindly. So differently from everyone else. You always call him ‘Shin’ with a honeyed tone, and you let him sleep when he comes over if he’s too tired. You feed him and buy him clothes and play with his hair sometimes. You talk to him like he’s a person and maybe he’s just… unused to tenderness.

But even if that is the case, it’s been years and you have an iron-tight grip on his heart.

And from how things have been going and how he continues to feel - it doesn’t seem like you have any plans of letting go anytime soon.

When Shinso exits the bathroom, he finds you lying on your back watching some reruns of Love Island playing on the TV. You’ve undressed and wiped off your makeup - now in pajamas and settled in the sheets. When you notice him, you eagerly shift to the other side and pat it for him to lay down which he does without a second thought. You’ve got a bottle of wine and two glasses waiting - unusual since you rarely drink with him.

He plops himself down besides you, turning to face you as you do the same.

“Is there a special date I’ve missed or something? What’s all this for?”

He gestures his head to the wine on the other side. You give him a soft shrug.

“Ah, sorta. Not sure if you wanna hear about it though,” ― you look at him sheepishly, yawning ― “Nothing very interesting to you,”

He wants to say everything about you is interesting to him but that’s entirely too corny. So he flicks you softly, shaking his head.

“Shut up and tell me,” but there’s no bite to it. You turn to lay on your back, laying to look at the ceiling. You lightly trace the patterns with your fingers, shutting your eyes.

“Did I.. ever mention I was engaged?”

His heart falls into his stomach, blinking rapidly before staring at you. He lays on his back now too, voice gone quiet. Unsure of how to respond, he stops. He can feel his heart clench, forcing a reply.

“Uh.. no, I don’t think so,”

You chuckle a little.

“He uh.. we weren’t serious,” ― you explain clumsily, lips pressed into a thin line like it stresses you out to think of the details ― “He really liked me and our marriage was mostly PR but I was lonely. I thought I might grow to like him,”

The flickering ember of hope in his heart is enough to push him, aching to know more.

“Did you?”

You shake your head and laugh, letting your neck crane over to look at him.

“I didn’t. Something came up and suddenly, I had different priorities,”

He just barely masks the relief in his expression, coughing lightly and trying to distract from his reaction.

“Well then uh, what’s wrong?”

You turn over to face him with not much to say. You reach over and tuck some loose hair behind his ear before retracting your hand. The small bit of affection is enough to send him reeling.

“Not wrong really. He got re-engaged today and it feels weird since I haven’t really made much progress in my life,”

He rolls his eyes at you.

“Oh yeah, opening your own company is pretty boring,”

You frown at him before sighing, scratching your scalp.

“I guess so but uh.. it’s not what I want, really”

He seems confused by your reply. You wonder if he knows just how dense he really is at times, brows furrowed in confusion.

“What do you want then?”

You giggle a little and shake your head.

“Something I can’t really have,” you say with a shrug.

He gasps aloud sarcastically.

“There’s something like that out there? Seriously?”

He’s expecting a typically witty response like the ones he normally gets from you. A rolling of eyes and a gentle shove as you tell him to pipe down or something along those lines. What he isn’t expecting is the way your eyes go lidded, smile curved up - blinking endlessly. The mellowness in your gaze as you nod.

“The funny thing is, it's so close to me sometimes. Almost like.. I could have it if I just... reached for it,”

Your sincerity strikes a chord in him, and he finds himself responding again without thinking twice..

“What’s stopping you?”

You give him a shrug.

“It’s not really my place to reach for it, I guess,” ― you explain, half-heartedly, just tired from thinking of it ― “It’s whatever, really,”

He can tell you want to stop talking about it but he can’t help but be curious. Still, he swallows whatever questions he has and lets you lay like that for a while. Observing you comes naturally to him these days, silently but probably not all that subtle.

A silence stretches between the two of you like how a cat moves in the summer sun. A comfortable exhaustion, where neither of you can find it in yourselves to move from your spot. It's unlikely you'll drink tonight. You yawn a little, heavy eyelids as you look at him.

“Hey, Shin,”

He hums, tiredly.

“Do you wanna spend tomorrow with me, too?”

He isn’t really sure if he heard you correctly until he opens his eyes to your expression. You’ve caught your lower lip between your teeth, nervously waiting for his reply. Shinso’s eyes widen as he stares at you, completely dumbfounded.

“A-are you sure? Aren’t you normally uh.. pretty busy during the weekdays?”

“Yeah but I took some time off since everythings been going well. It’s been a while since I’ve taken a break,” you explain

“And you wanna spend that time off with me…? I heard that correctly?”

You laugh at it though you know his question is genuine. You nod.

“You did, actually. It’s okay if you’re busy - I just thought it might be a good change of pace and I’ll still pay you. I need to go run some errands but we could make a day of it,” ― your give him a soft smile ― “No pressure,”

He blinks at you, dumbfounded.

“No I.. that would be cool. I’d like that,” he chokes out, heart stuttering.

You smile at him.

“Good,” ― you lean over, pressing a kiss to his temple before getting up to dim the lights ― “You look exhausted so get some sleep in,”

“R-right,”

He feels your weight as you slip into bed again, still facing him but closing your eyes.

“Night, Shinso”

“..Night,”

How did things end up like this?

With a hand on his thigh, and the spike of warmth in his chest - that’s all he can think to ask himself.

After last night, he’d woken up to find an empty bed and a paper-note crinkled up on the bedside table. It told him to get dressed and whenever you came back - the two of you would go out. You had a list of errands you needed to run and all Shinso had to do was go with you.

And he was ready to do that - he showered, got dressed, and when you arrived, accompanied you all day to do whatever tasks you needed.

Your first stop was the bank to deposit a check and take out a hefty sum of cash - half of which you handed to Shinso with a not so subtle wink.

After that - you went to your office to drop off some paperwork, with Shinso in tow and then to the Shopping Centre where you bought him an excessive amount of clothes and a brand-new watch he absolutely didn’t need. You even made him give you a little show, telling him to come out of the dressing room so he could see him in each outfit.

If that wasn’t embarrassing enough, you’d paid for both of his meals after having breakfast. You’d spent the whole day together and you’d essentially sugared him the whole time.

It wasn’t like Shinso minded . But as a pining escort, having your attention like this all day was doing terrible things to his heart. The never-ending yearning only seemed to swell up further and every gentle touch - a hand on his knee or you holding his arm, only served to make it worse.

He was torn between wanting the day to end and never wanting it too but he knew it’d be terrible for him if it continued on.

You asked him if he’d like to drink with you tonight since you couldn't last night and Shinso had said yes like the love-sick fuck he is. So you get back to the hotel room, order an expensive few bottles of wine, and pour him a few drinks. He could sleep the night and leave the next morning with cash in hand and all new items and that would be that.

Shinso knows you rarely drink and given the fact you’re choosing to spend so much time with him, he’s certain you’re going through something. And he’s fine with accompanying you through it, comfortable giving you whatever you need.

But it’s oh-so bad for his heart. It’s bad to watch you drink and see your cheeks get flushed and glow in the dim lights. It’s bad to feel your hand creep-up on his thigh as the drinks loosen you and you get comfortable.

And it’s hard for him to shut himself up when he wants you so badly anyways. When you’re so close but so far all at once and he’s losing track of his sense of dignity or pride as you drink another sip, and rub your thumb into the meat of his thigh and he’s looking at you with so much longing .

You take a sip from your glass, stem between your fingers when your voice startles him out of his trance.

“You’ve been staring at me for a while now, y’know,” ― you tell him, tapping his leg ― “If you have something you wanna say, just say it. No judgement,”

He gives you a strained look. Chewing the inside of his lip, he leans forward with his elbows on the table, cautiously moving so nothing spills. His eyes focus on the cork, fiddling with it to calm his nerves.

It goes dead silent, like everything in the entire world has stopped. Not a single car on the street or life of any kind. Just you and him, alone in this hotel room.

“Why haven’t you..” ― he trails off, wincing at his own vulgar words ― “Why won’t you.. sleep with me?

Upon hearing his question, you freeze. Worried he’s upset you, he immediately goes to correct himself. Tell you that you don’t have to answer, he’s just being stupid but instead of getting angry, you laugh.

It’s a chuckle at first but it tapers off into full-blown giggles and eventually you put the glass down just to laugh. He’s not sure if he should be offended or not by it so he sits and waits for you to catch your breath.

You lean back in your chair, hands splayed on the table as you observe all the rings on your fingers. Silver and diamonds, manicured nails and all. You tap them on the table, sighing before shrugging.

“Well, not like I have any reason not to tell you,” ― you say sighing ― “Try not to think too hard about it I guess,”

“What is it?”

“Ah well, there’s two reasons,”

He squints.

“..Okay? What are they?”

You smile at him, cracking your knuckles before resting them on the table again.

“Well, firstly - I like you” ― you say casually, all too easily for him to even process. His eyes widen the size of saucers, shock punching him in the gut ― “And I felt like sleeping with you like this.. under these circumstances would make me like the rest of your clientele so there’s that,’

What the fuck .

“Wh-whats the other reason?”

You smile.

“I’m into some pretty weird stuff,” you say with a shrug.

He stares at you.. hard and for a long time as you sit and sip wine casually. Like you didn’t just drop a complete bomb on him. Like you didn’t just casually confess your feelings for him like you were reciting the weather.

“The first reason again.. can you say it again..? Slower maybe?”

You turn to face him, cocking your head to one side.

“That I like you?”

“What the actual fuck ”

You frown.

“I told you you didn’t have to think about it too hard,”

“That is not the problem”

“Then what is..?”

“That I like you back! Obviously!” he snaps, frustrated. You stare at him wide-eyed before falling into giggles at his flustered and irritated expression. He gapes before shutting his mouth, dropping his head on the table with a groan.

“Shit, I wasn’t supposed to - fuck me ,”

You laugh again, patting his back sympathetically.

“Take your time,”

He rolls his eyes at you.

“Why am I just now learning this? Like..? Isn’t this something I should know? Since when and why?”

You laugh a little harder at his distress.

“Uh.. I don’t know? Since we first met?”

He stares at you.

“ That long? ”

You nod softly.

“Why didn’t you… why are we just finding this out?”

“Remember last night when I was talking about something being out of my reach,”

He gapes at you.

“.. You were talking about me?”

“Yeah… I might’ve just been some client to you. Your job is hard enough and I didn’t want me having feelings for you adding any pressure so I just left it alone,” ― you explain to him awkwardly ― “Too far out of my reach, you know,”

“Oh, what the fuck,”

It grows quiet for a while as Shinso sits in the strange reality that you.. like him . He tries his best to swallow the relieved lump in his throat, shaking his head of any second thoughts.

“Okay well...we don’t have time to unpack all of that right so I’m not going to,” ― he says decidedly ― “But that second part..I doubt it’s that bad. I’m an escort, I’m sure I can handle it,”

You raise an eyebrow at him.

“Hm.. you must really wanna sleep with me huh”

He flushes.

“Gimme a break here,”

You let out another soft laugh.

“Sorry sorry, it was like.. right there. It’s not that it’s weird uh.. maybe a little.. unconventional? Even for you,”

He shakes his head.

“Highly doubt it. I’ve done it all. If it’s anything like spanking, choking, biting, hair-pulling, bondage - the whole nine yards and then some,” he explains. You hum.

“Well.. I guess it technically counts as all of that,”

“See, I told you -”

“The thing is.. I don’t really want you to do all that to me,”

He stops dead in his tracks.

“...What?”

“I uh.. don’t really sub like that. Not often, anyways. I’m into what you said - spanking, choking, biting, hair-pulling, bondage - all of that and then some but like… not for me,”

He pauses. Why is his dick doing that?

“..Oh. I see,”

You wave him off a bit.

“We don’t have to do anything like that, if you don’t want to. But that’s why I was hesitating,”

“I never said..” ― he trails off, flushing ― “I’m fine with it. I trust you I just.. don’t have experience subbing, honestly,”

Your eyes widen as a familiar heat finds you. You stare at him, trying to mask your excitement.

“We really don’t have too,”

“I want to. I’ll tell you if I want to stop so,”

You give him a soft stare before chuckling. Rising to your feet, you give him your hand for him to grab. He stumbles to stand as you drag him to the bed where he finds himself seated on the edge.

You force him down, hands on his shoulders. Wordlessly, you draw your hands up his clothed chest, stopping at his face. He rests his cheek in your palm and lets you drag your thumb across his bottom lip. Everything shifts in less than a breath, in the blink of an eye and suddenly he’s looking at you more intensely than he ever has before. The reality of having sex with you, touching you - for the first time suffocates him

“Fuck,” he swears, under his breath.

“Open your mouth, Shinso,”

You leave him there for a moment, grabbing the bottle of wine and taking a swig. You slide your palms down to his neck, tilting his chin back.

He does, eyes absently tracing your face. He leans back onto his palms, mouth open. He can feel your fingers curling around the sides of his neck, pressing softly as you lean over him and spit the wine into his mouth. It’s warm from how you’ve kept it between your lips. He lets it spill, the rich liquid spilling from the corners of his lips down to his chest.

“Now swallow, yeah?”

He does, one large gulp that leaves him gasping for air with an ache between his legs he doesn’t know how to handle. His eyes flutter open and he looks at you as you pat his cheek.

“You listen well, yknow that?”

He gives you a hazy nod as you laugh, setting the bottle of wine aside again before returning to him.

“Do you know about the green light system?”

He nods. You smile.

“Can you repeat it to me?”

“Green for go, yellow for slow down, red for stop,” he recites back to you. You settle your hands around his throat, humming.

“Smart and handsome, huh?”

He laughs a little at that, dropping his head forward.

“You’re gonna kill me,”

Your grin widens.

“But you’ll have fun at least,”

He can’t disagree with that. His whole body feels like it’s lit up. Fiery heat lays claim to every inch of his body, years and years of desire welled up inside him. He feels like he’ll melt at any touch. Keening, he sighs under his breath.

“It’d be nice if we got to the fun part faster,”

You raise your eyebrows, grinning.

“Someone’s bratty,”

You think he’s gonna fold but he doesn’t. He looks up at you, arms wrapped around your waist. He tugs you towards him, face buried in your torso.

“You’ll have to fix that on your own,” ― he takes a deep inhale of your perfume. You smell like sunlight ― “I’ve waited for so long, you don’t even know,”

“Are you asking me to go easy on you?” you ask, partially genuine. He shakes his head, tilting his head up to look at you.

“The opposite, actually,”

You can’t help but laugh at him again, you run your fingers through his hair - tugging it back until he’s looking at you again. You lean down this time, getting in his face.

“You should learn to be more careful, Shinso,”

“Hitoshi,” he corrects, mouth slick with a sleazy smile. You tug at his hair harder and he lets out a moan.

“You should really learn to be more careful, Hitoshi,”

“ Fuck ,”

You release him from your grasp stepping back. He can feel his heart in his ears as you stares at you with a Cheshire cat grin.

“Strip,”

“Why should I?” he challenges.

You raise a brow at him and shrug. He watches as you step out of your own clothes, how your fingers undo your blouse buttons one by one. His mouth goes dry, licking his lips as he settles on his ass to watch you undress. He watches the loose fabric fall to the floor gracefully - eyes soaking up the sight of your chest.

A pretty lace bra barely holds them from sight, he can see every single detail. His cock twitches. You don’t stop there, looping your fingers into hooks of your pants and shrugging them off. Your body is perfect - so much better to look at than he could’ve ever imagined. Every curve or stretch mark or hair sits so pretty on your skin he can barely breathe.

He’s aching to jump across and touch you but after you undress, you deposit your clothes to the back of a chair across the bed before sitting down. With your legs spread - he gets an almost perfect view of your cunt behind thin and lace fabric.

“You wanna touch me, right?”

“Y-yeah,”

“Then get naked and sit on the bed,”

He swears he sees stars. The way your voice dips, gets heavy and powerful. He nods a little, stumbles when he stands.

“What’re you gonna do?”

You grin, leaning back in your chair. You hand one hand brushing against your chest. Slender fingers rolling the nipple between thumb and forefinger as the other hand smooths down your navel to sit between your legs. He feels his knees buckle as you sigh, going beneath the snap of your waist band. You draw a ragged breath in as you play with yourself and Shinso watches you like he’s got hearts in his eyes.

“I’m gonna watch,” ― you pant ― “Give me a good show and I’ll reward you, Hitoshi,”

Shinso is decidedly out of his element here. He’s not accustomed to this treatment, all of this attention. It’s clear you’re asking him to present yourself to him - but Shinso’s never been the one doing this. He’s normally in your shoes.

But the way your eyes drink him in, lustful and wanting, makes him want to try. So he stands and he strips, both hands grabbing either side of his shirt and slowly peeling it off of his torso. When the cool air hits the bare skin - he shivers. He rubs the back of his neck and splays his hands across his body as reaches down to his pants. He watches you while you watch him, basking in this mutual voyeurism of the act.

He feels himself get impossibly hard underneath your eyes. He takes off his pants first, tight skinny jeans that drag off his thighs and steps out of them - leaving him to only his boxers. He hesitates, embarrassed to continue, but swallows his pride. When you stop ready to question him, he starts. Slender fingers dip into his waist-band and he wiggles his hips to take them off extra slow for you.

He’s a sight to see in your eyes - his body is pale and pretty, nipples flushed against strong chest and thick thighs. He’s toned and lean, body pure sinew - with dark purple carpet to match the drapes. His cock is pretty too, not big but curved left with the tip pink. It smacks against his stomach when he takes it off. Wet with precum that drools onto his skin.

You throw your head back when you see him naked.

“Fuck, you’re pretty Hitoshi,”

He blinks at you.

“Pretty?”

You nod, still touching your clit. Still staring at him like you’re going to eat him alive. A raspy moan leaves your lips.

“Wanna see you jerk off,” ― you manage to say through a series of moans ― “Bet you look so fucking good when you do it. Sit on the bed and show me,”

This is embarrassing . Shinso is humiliated, but more than anything he’s humiliated by the way he listens . He lets himself do it. He spits into his palm unceremoniously His hand wraps around his cock, fingers around the base when he gives it a long and slow stroke. He remembers the last time he got off but he’s sure it didn’t feel like this.

He can feel it in his whole body - the tenseness in his muscles and how his chest rises but never seems to fall completely. Short, ragged breaths leaving his lips. His throat stumbles on his breaths like he can barely get them to come out. It feels so good, he can feel it everywhere. Blood pulsating under his skin - it’s hot in his veins and he strokes himself off with enthusiasm. He’s never done this before but he understands why people do.

The feeling he gets watching you watch him sends chills up his spine. The desire that lingers, connects you two like a web. You want him just as badly as he wants you and there’s proof in the way your moans mix together. Soft pants with his slow groans.

He can feel himself get close - in his throat. He throws his head back when he moans.

“G-gonna cum if I don’t stop, hngh shit ,”

You laugh at him, instead of telling him to stop - you laugh.

“You’ll stop when I tell you to stop,”― you assert, spreading your legs even wider ― “Don’t you wanna cum inside me, baby? Think that would feel better, yeah?”

“F-fuck, yeah, god,” ― he bites the inside of his cheek, slowing down as he feels it. The soft strokes make him whine ― “Want to fuck you so bad,”

“Are you close?,”

“ Please,”

“How close?”

“S-so close, gonna cum soon if I don’t - haah , shit,” ― he takes a ragged breath, slowing as best he can “Don’t stop. If I don’t - ,”

You can feel how close he is. With a breathy laugh, you sit up.

“Stop, Hitoshi,”

He gasps, immediately removing his hands. Stumbling back onto the bed, he grips the sheets trying to catch his breath. The come down is miserable, you must know. You give him a soft look of sympathy as you approach him.

“You did good,” you praise, lifting your knee and placing it beside his thigh. “Bet you’re real sensitive right now, aren’t you ‘toshi?”

“Want a reward?”

He nods. You press your pointer and index finger to his lips and watch him open his mouth. His mouth is hot and your fingers rub against his wet tongue. He closes his lips on instinct, a deep groan leaving him when he realizes. what you’re doing.

“I was gonna tie you up, y’know? With a little tie but you behaved so well for me just now. You think you’ve earned a reward?”

He looks at you with misty eyes, cock pulsing with desire. You’ve broken him down thoroughly. The empty look in his eyes and the way he sucks on your fingers. He works his tongue on each ridge on your knuckle all the back to the tips.

“What is it you wanna do, Hitoshi?” ― you ask curiously ― “Do you know?”

You pull back, watching drool drip down the sides of his mouth and down his neck. He has his hands on either side of him, fists clench. Like he can’t decide what he wants to do more.

“Wanna feel you so fucking bad,” ― he says with finality, eyes pleading ― “Please let me feel you,”

“What do you wanna feel, baby? Just wanna feel me up or you wanna feel your cock inside me..?”

He shudders.

“All of you.. god - all of you,”

“That so… think you can behave for me then? Can you be a good boy so I can give you what you want”

He nods but you shake your head, holding his face in your hands.

“Good boys have good manners,” ― you inform, staring at his eyes with adoration ― “Tell me that you’ll be a good boy for me,”

He can feel his cock twitch almost like he’ll cum untouched. The way you hold his gaze doesn’t let him look at anything but you. All he can see or smell or think is you.

“I-I’ll be... a g..good boy for you,” ― he stutters, never having said something so.. submissive. It feels awkward but you smile, grow soft so he tries again, a little firmer ― “I’ll be a good boy for you..promise”

He probably doesn’t realize himself but he gets a soft look in his eyes when you compliment him. It would make sense for him to have a praise kink but you almost feel guilty exploiting it when he doesn’t even know.

“You’re such a good boy for me aren’t you, Hitoshi? Got such a handsome face,” you’re still looking straight at him. He squirms, body doing something unfamiliar.

“W-wait,” ― he squirms, backing up a little ― “Shit.. wait it’s..

Instead of pushing him, you pull back.

“Get up on the bed baby,”

And he does, scooting back towards the headboard with his back leaning into pillows. You crawl towards him, straddling him. Both of your knees are on either side of his thigh and your bodies are pressed so closely together.

Your hands rest at the base of his throat, before sliding around to his face. He can feel your core, wet and warm - hovering just above his naked torso. You lean forward, warm breath on his lips. You smell so good to him, breath sweet with alcohol. Everything about is so attractive and his heart is racing all over again.

It’s the first time he’s ever kissed you. He lets you take the lead on it. The way your bodies meld into each other and the gentle touch of your hands. Nothing can distract him from the kiss. Your lips are so soft. They taste sour and sweet and you kiss him feverish. Each time you pull back to kiss him again, you do it a little deeper and a little longer until it aches to stop.

You kiss him with tongue, and you lead. He follows. You let it drag across his lower lip, let your teeth tug and bite wherever you please. It sets off something feverish inside of him. Shinso moans as your clothed cunt drags onto his cock slowly, the light sensation making him shiver.

Heat splinters off inside of him, something slick dragging along his cock has him choking on his breath.

You let yourself pull away from his lips, moving to pepper kiss down his jaw all the way to pale neck. He can feel the sharpness of your teeth dig into the skin, mouth lapping over the marks before sucking them into bruises. A deep purple to match the rest of him - littered from his throat all the way down to his chest as you scoot down to get a taste of the rest of him.

“You’re so cute, Hitoshi” ― you greet, hands on his waist ― “Such a pretty boy,”

He whimpers when he hears your voice.

“Is there anything you want?”

“C-can I… I wanna uhm.. eat you out, maybe? If that’s alright”

You sit back up to look at him. He looks like it took everything out of him just to ask. You give him a quick kiss on the mouth before nodding.

“How do you want me?”

“Sitting on my face, please?”

“You even know to say please huh,” ― you chuckle, moving over so he can lay back. He follows with your instruction ― “You must really want it,”

“Y-Yeah, I do,”

“Then I’ll give it to you,”

Shinso lays flat on his back and watches you from the corner of his eyes as you slide off your panties. The only word his hazy mind can think of to describe you is pretty. Your pussy is pretty too - it’s slick and rests between your thighs, clenching around nothing. Shinso watches with great interest as you make your way over to him - with one knee on one side of his head. You spread yourself right over his face and he moans.

The heat of your cunt is a welcome invitation. He really can’t think of any way to describe it other than it smells like you, hot and heavy and thick in his lungs. He reaches his hands up and wraps around your thighs, dragging you closer to him. You're facing the wall - hand on the headboard to steady yourself. The other one threading through his locks.

“Go on baby,” ― you tease, settling some of your weight until your pussy is on his tongue ― “Enjoy yourself,”

He has a catty remark somewhere in him but right now he’s too desperate to care. Wet tongue drags between your folds, burying himself in your cunt as deep as he can. His nose bumps against your clit, resting against your mound as he laps at your clit with great effort. A full body shiver runs through you and above he hears the shuffle of fabric, the unclasping of your bra as it falls to the floor.

You lean back this time, hands splayed behind you. Shinso prepares himself for what's coming by digging his fingers into your thighs a little further. He moans into, mouth sucking and slurping at your pussy as you find your pace to grind against his mouth. All the blood is rushing to his cock as he feels you. The swollen bundle of nerves pulsates on his tongue as your hips rock into an easy back and forth. You grip at his hair, throwing your head back.

“Feels so fucking good, baby,” ― you moan, voice hoarse and heavy ― “Such a good boy letting me fuck your face like this, yeah?”

He groans against your cunt at the sound. It eggs him on, stretching his tongue out so you can get the most pleasure. His cock twitches haphazardly. He can feel every clench, every ridge in his mouth. You taste so fucking nice - arousal spilling down his cheeks and chin. He can’t breathe, can’t do anything but feel you.

You can feel him too. The way the pleasure builds in a steady crescendo as you continue rocking yourself on his face. Your thighs clench, muscles trembling - a bead of sweat dripping down your forehead and cheek.

“Haah, shit - gonna make me cum, gonna cum all over your pretty face baby,”

He whines into you like he wants it. When you reach your peak you almost scream, mouth fallen open as your pussy spasms. All you can see is white - pulsing white heat and sinful pleasure that leaves your breathing ragged and body rigid. It feels like falling into water, floating in it - completely weightless

You fall forward as it hits you in waves. Shinso can feel the rush of your orgasm, cum coating his tongue. He swallows it down with enthusiasm as you continue to ride out your high.

When you’ve ridden out your high, you dismount yourself from him - sitting on his chest. His face is flushed, dusted a bright pink across his nose. Saliva and cum make his skin shine in the lowlights. You scoot back then lean forward to meet his mouth in a lazy kiss. He moans, soft and easy.

“You did such a good job making me cum, Hitoshi,” ― you’re quick to praise, pressing a kiss to his nose ― “Sit up for me,”

And he does, propped up on his elbows. With a heavy mind, he sits back up like how he’d been before and watches as you crawl into his lap. His cock fucking hurts, the lack of attention making it hard for him to think straight. You place a hand on his chest and lift your ass up.

“I don’t know how long I can last,” he admits. You laugh a little.

“Don’t worry about it and enjoy yourself. Do whatever feels right,”

Shinso nods as he watches you reach between the two of you, gripping his cock and guiding it to your entrance. He’s mesmerized by it, lidded gaze staring at with such focus. As soon as the tip stretches you out, he’s a goner. It’s soft and wet and hot. An all encompassing and slick heat, like silk around his cock. His whole body falls forward in a shudder, cock pulsing. He wraps his arms around you, burying his face in your bare tits as you slide yourself down.

“O-ooh, fuck - please, please ”

“Feel good?,”

He’s too euphoric to get out a reply. Such great relief has him near tears, his body aching as he buries himself deep in your cunt. Even the slightest movement has him moaning, loud and shameless as the tip drags against your sensitive walls. The summery heat of your cunt has his voice trembling - his body shaking.

Taking the utmost mercy on him, you lift your hips until his cock almost slides out before slamming yourself back down. He cries out into your chest, as you ride him like your life depends on it. The constant motion - the slip of your pussy has him rutting his hips to fuck back into your rhythm.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck,”

You feel encouraged to egg him on with some praise, an unexpected second wave of pleasure building in your abdomen. You feel his mouth catch on one of your tits as you ride him - laughing.

“Such a good boy for me, Hitoshi. Fuck me so well, making me feel so good. You can cum inside me for being so good, f-fill me up so nice, yeah?”

He grunts.

“Fuck, yeah ,”

He gives up on trying to do anything but chase his orgasm. With a heavy grunt, he fucks himself into with little effort on his part. You let him because he sounds so desperate . Heady moans and whimpers that taper off into swears. You can feel how bad he wants it. His cock stretches you nicely but it’s how deep you can feel it that leaves you exceptionally hazy. You let him fuck into you with a smile.

Your own orgasm hits you a second time and you gasp, then laugh a little at just how good he’s making you feel. You can’t help but think you should’ve done this forever ago as a lazy orgasm has you shiver, pussy gripping Shinso like you never want him to leave.

You take your face in his hand and watch him drool all over your palms. He really is beautiful. His lower lip tucked between teeth, voice brokenly moaning as he approaches his own orgasm.

“Gonna cum for me, handsome? Makin’ such a pretty face. Wanna feel your cum deep inside, okay? Can you do that?”

“Y-yeah, hnggh yeah - please, please”

“Cum for me, Hitoshi. Be a good boy and cum for me,”

With one last thrust, Shinso throws his head back and cums so hard he sees stars in his vision. He can hear your voice distantly as his body spasms and releases all that he’s been holding in for so long. A sob hiccups in his chest as he rides his high out, pouring thick and hot loads of cum inside of you with fervor. He’s beautiful for you, really.

“Good boy, Hitoshi,” you coo, soft as he cries into your chest “Such a good boy f’r me,”

After a particularly long session of holding each other post orgasm, you’ve managed to drag Shinso into the bathroom. He’s exhausted and you’re not that surprised. Even resting in the warm, floral scented water - he’s not so much as spoken a word. He’s got his arms wrapped around you, face buried in your shoulders.

The ambience is nice. He finally got to use the couples bath items - candles lit with rose petals dancing in the hotel bathroom. It’s romantic, he has to admit. It makes Shinso think long and hard.

His voice is raspy after he speaks for the first time. It catches you by surprise but it’s soft and gentle.

“So.. you like me,” ― he starts, drawing his arms even tighter around your middle ― “...And I uh.. I like you back so. What does that…?,”

You chuckle at him, leaning your head back to look at him before smiling.

“It doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it too,” ― you say first, before flushing. It’s the first time in the evening you find yourself flustered ― “But I’d like to take care of you.. financially and otherwise,”

He blinks a little, blushing.

“W-would that.. like would that make me your.. uhm? Boyfriend or whatever,”

You register what he says before breaking out into another set of full-blown giggles. No matter how smart of how witty Shinso may be, he still manages to make your heart flutter with how cute he is. You nod.

“Yes, that would make you my boyfriend. And sugar baby, technically,” ― you explain to him, wrapping your hands around his. ― “We can work out the details in the morning,”

He’s quiet for a while before nuzzling into you closer.

“Cool,”

You raise an eyebrow, smiling.

“...Cool?”

He nods and smiles too. That's all he could ever ask to be.

“Cool,”

#prettyboy.thirsts #shinsou x reader #bnha x reader #shinsou x y/n #shinso x reader #shinsou x you #shinso x you #bnha x y/n #bnha x you #formal #writing tag #bnha smut #shinso smut

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transgenderteensurvivalguide · 3 years

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“Elliot Page doesn’t remember exactly how long he had been asking.

But he does remember the acute feeling of triumph when, around age 9, he was finally allowed to cut his hair short. “I felt like a boy,” Page says. “I wanted to be a boy. I would ask my mom if I could be someday.” Growing up in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Page visualized himself as a boy in imaginary games, freed from the discomfort of how other people saw him: as a girl. After the haircut, strangers finally started perceiving him the way he saw himself, and it felt both right and exciting.

The joy was short-lived. Months later, Page got his first break, landing a part as a daughter in a Canadian mining family in the TV movie Pit Pony. He wore a wig for the film, and when Pit Pony became a TV show, he grew his hair out again. “I became a professional actor at the age of 10,” Page says. And pursuing that passion came with a difficult compromise. “Of course I had to look a certain way.”

We are speaking in late February. It is the first interview Page, 34, has given since disclosing in December that he is transgender, in a heartfelt letter posted to Instagram, and he is crying before I have even uttered a question. “Sorry, I’m going to be emotional, but that’s cool, right?” he says, smiling through his tears.

It’s hard for him to talk about the days that led up to that disclosure. When I ask how he was feeling, he looks away, his neck exposed by a new short haircut. After a pause, he presses his hand to his heart and closes his eyes. “This feeling of true excitement and deep gratitude to have made it to this point in my life,” he says, “mixed with a lot of fear and anxiety.”

It’s not hard to understand why a trans person would be dealing with conflicting feelings in this moment. Increased social acceptance has led to more young people describing themselves as trans—1.8% of Gen Z compared with 0.2% of boomers, according to a recent Gallup poll—yet this has fueled conservatives who are stoking fears about a “transgender craze.” President Joe Biden has restored the right of transgender military members to serve openly, and in Hollywood, trans people have never had more meaningful time onscreen. Meanwhile, J.K. Rowling is leveraging her cultural capital to oppose transgender equality in the name of feminism, and lawmakers are arguing in the halls of Congress over the validity of gender identities. “Sex has become a political football in the culture wars,” says Chase Strangio, deputy director for transgender justice at the ACLU.

(Full article with photos continued under the “read more”)

And so Page—who charmed America as a precocious pregnant teenager in Juno, constructed dreamscapes in Inception and now stars in Netflix’s hit superhero show The Umbrella Academy, the third season of which he’s filming in Toronto—expected that his news would be met with both applause and vitriol. “What I was anticipating was a lot of support and love and a massive amount of hatred and transphobia,” says Page. “That’s essentially what happened.” What he did not anticipate was just how big this story would be. Page’s announcement, which made him one of the most famous out trans people in the world, started trending on Twitter in more than 20 countries. He gained more than 400,000 new followers on Instagram on that day alone. Thousands of articles were published. Likes and shares reached the millions. Right-wing podcasters readied their rhetoric about “women in men’s locker rooms.” Casting directors reached out to Page’s manager saying it would be an honor to cast Page in their next big movie.

So, it was a lot. Over the course of two conversations, Page will say that understanding himself in all the specifics remains a work in progress. Fathoming one’s gender, an identity innate and performed, personal and social, fixed and evolving, is complicated enough without being under a spotlight that never seems to turn off. But having arrived at a critical juncture, Page feels a deep sense of responsibility to share his truth. “Extremely influential people are spreading these myths and damaging rhetoric—every day you’re seeing our existence debated,” Page says. “Transgender people are so very real.”

That role in Pit Pony led to other productions and eventually, when Page was 16, to a film called Mouth to Mouth. Playing a young anarchist, Page had a chance to cut his hair again. This time, he shaved it off completely. The kids at his high school teased him, but in photos he has posted from that time on social media he looks at ease. Page’s head was still shaved when he mailed in an audition tape for the 2005 thriller Hard Candy. The people in charge of casting asked him to audition again in a wig. Soon, the hair was back.

Page’s tour de force performance in Hard Candy led, two years later, to Juno, a low-budget indie film that brought Page Oscar, BAFTA and Golden Globe nominations and sudden megafame. The actor, then 21, struggled with the stresses of that ascension. The endless primping, red carpets and magazine spreads were all agonizing reminders of the disconnect between how the world saw Page and who he knew himself to be. “I just never recognized myself,” Page says. “For a long time I could not even look at a photo of myself.” It was difficult to watch the movies too, especially ones in which he played more feminine roles.

Page loved making movies, but he also felt alienated by Hollywood and its standards. Alia Shawkat, a close friend and co-star in 2009’s Whip It,describes all the attention from Juno as scarring. “He had a really hard time with the press and expectations,” Shawkat says. “‘Put this on! And look this way! And this is sexy!’”

By the time he appeared in blockbusters like X-Men: The Last Stand and Inception, Page was suffering from depression, anxiety and panic attacks. He didn’t know, he says, “how to explain to people that even though [I was] an actor, just putting on a T-shirt cut for a woman would make me so unwell.” Shawkat recalls Page’s struggles with clothes. “I’d be like, ‘Hey, look at all these nice outfits you’re getting,’ and he would say, ‘It’s not me. It feels like a costume,’” she says. Page tried to convince himself that he was fine, that someone who was fortunate enough to have made it shouldn’t have complaints. But he felt exhausted by the work required to “just exist,” and thought more than once about quitting acting.

In 2014, Page came out as gay, despite feeling for years that “being out was impossible” given his career. (Gender identity and sexual orientation are, of course, distinct, but one queer identity can coexist with another.) In an emotional speech at a Human Rights Campaign conference, Page talked about being part of an industry “that places crushing standards” on actors and viewers alike. “There are pervasive stereotypes about masculinity and femininity that define how we’re all supposed to act, dress and speak,” Page went on. “And they serve no one.”

The actor started wearing suits on the red carpet. He found love, marrying choreographer Emma Portner in 2018. He asserted more agency in his career, producing his own films with LGBTQ leads like Freeheld and My Days of Mercy. And he made a masculine wardrobe a condition of taking roles. Yet the daily discord was becoming unbearable. “The difference in how I felt before coming out as gay to after was massive,” says Page. “But did the discomfort in my body ever go away? No, no, no, no.”

In part, it was the isolation forced by the pandemic that brought to a head Page’s wrestling with gender. (Page and Portner separated last summer, and the two divorced in early 2021. “We’ve remained close friends,” Page says.) “I had a lot of time on my own to really focus on things that I think, in so many ways, unconsciously, I was avoiding,” he says. He was inspired by trailblazing trans icons like Janet Mock and Laverne Cox, who found success in Hollywood while living authentically. Trans writers helped him understand his feelings; Page saw himself reflected in P. Carl’s memoir Becoming a Man. Eventually “shame and discomfort” gave way to revelation. “I was finally able to embrace being transgender,” Page says, “and letting myself fully become who I am.”

This led to a series of decisions. One was asking the world to call him by a different name, Elliot, which he says he’s always liked. Page has a tattoo that says E.P. PHONE HOME, a reference to a movie about a young boy with that name. “I loved E.T. when I was a kid and always wanted to look like the boys in the movies, right?” he says. The other decision was to use different pronouns—for the record, both he/him and they/them are fine. (When I ask if he has a preference on pronouns for the purposes of this story, Page says, “He/him is great.”)

A day before we first speak, Page will talk to his mom about this interview and she will tell him, “I’m just so proud of my son.” He grows emotional relating this and tries to explain that his mom, the daughter of a minister, who was born in the 1950s, was always trying to do what she thought was best for her child, even if that meant encouraging young Page to act like a girl. “She wants me to be who I am and supports me fully,” Page says. “It is a testament to how people really change.”

Another decision was to get top surgery. Page volunteers this information early in our conversation; at the time he posted his disclosure on Instagram, he was recovering in Toronto. Like many trans people, Page emphasizes being trans isn’t all about surgery. For some people, it’s unnecessary. For others, it’s unaffordable. For the wider world, the media’s focus on it has sensationalized transgender bodies, inviting invasive and inappropriate questions. But Page describes surgery as something that, for him, has made it possible to finally recognize himself when he looks in the mirror, providing catharsis he’s been waiting for since the “total hell” of puberty. “It has completely transformed my life,” he says. So much of his energy was spent on being uncomfortable in his body, he says. Now he has that energy back.

For the transgender community at large, visibility does not automatically lead to acceptance. Around the globe, transgender people deal disproportionately with violence and discrimination. Anti-trans hate crimes are on the rise in the U.K. along with increasingly transphobic rhetoric in newspapers and tabloids. In the U.S., in addition to the perennial challenges trans people face with issues like poverty and homelessness, a flurry of bills in state legislatures would make it a crime to provide transition-related medical care to trans youth. And crass old jokes are still in circulation. When Biden lifted the ban on open service for transgender troops, Saturday Night Live’s Michael Che did a bit on Weekend Update about the policy being called “don’t ask, don’t tuck.”

Page says coming out as trans was “selfish” on one level: “It’s for me. I want to live and be who I am.” But he also felt a moral imperative to do so, given the times. Human identity is complicated and mysterious, but politics insists on fitting everything into boxes. In today’s culture wars, simplistic beliefs about gender—e.g., chromosomes = destiny—are so widespread and so deep-seated that many people who hold those beliefs don’t feel compelled to consider whether they might be incomplete or prejudiced. On Feb. 24, after a passionate debate on legislation that would ban discrimination against LGBTQ people, Representative Marie Newman, an Illinois Democrat, proudly displayed the pride flag in support of her daughter, who is trans. Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, a Georgia Republican, responded by hanging a poster outside her office that read: There are TWO genders: MALE & FEMALE.

The next day Dr. Rachel Levine, who stands to become the first openly transgender federal official confirmed by the Senate, endured a tirade from Senator Rand Paul about “genital mutilation” during her confirmation hearing. My second conversation with Page happens shortly after this. He brings it up almost immediately, and seems both heartbroken and determined. He wants to emphasize that top surgery, for him, was “not only life-changing but lifesaving.” He implores people to educate themselves about trans lives, to learn how crucial medical care can be, to understand that lack of access to it is one of the many reasons that an estimated 41% of transgender people have attempted suicide, according to one survey.

Page has been in the political trenches for a while, having leaned into progressive activism after coming out as queer in 2014. For two seasons, he and best friend Ian Daniel filmed Gaycation, a Viceland series that explored LGBTQ culture around the world and, at one point, showed Page grilling Senator Ted Cruz at the Iowa State Fair about discrimination against queer people. In 2019, Page made a documentary called There’s Something in the Water, which explores environmental hardships experienced by communities of color in Nova Scotia, with $350,000 of his own money. That activism extends to his own industry: in 2017, he published a Facebook post that, among other things, accused director Brett Ratner of forcibly outing him as gay on the set of an X-Men movie. (A representative for Ratner did not respond to a request for comment.)

As a trans person who is white, wealthy and famous, Page has a unique kind of privilege, and with it an opportunity to advocate for those with less. According to the U.S. Trans Survey, a large-scale report from 2015, transgender people of color are more likely to experience unemployment, harassment by police and refusals of medical care. Nearly half of all Black respondents reported being denied equal treatment, verbally harassed and/or physically attacked in the past year. Trans people as a group fare much worse on such stats than the general population. “My privilege has allowed me to have resources to get through and to be where I am today,” Page says, “and of course I want to use that privilege and platform to help in the ways I can.”

Since his disclosure, Page has been mostly quiet on social media. One exception has been to tweet on behalf of the ACLU, which is in the midst of fighting anti-trans bills and laws around the country, including those that ban transgender girls and women from participating in sports. Mississippi Governor Tate Reeves says he will sign such a bill in the name of “protect[ing] young girls.” Page played competitive soccer and vividly recalls the agony of being told he would have to play on the girls’ team once he aged out of mixed-gender squads. After an appeal, Page was allowed to play with the boys for an additional year. Today, several bills list genitalia as a requirement for deciding who plays on which team. “I would have been in that position as a kid,” Page says. “It’s horrific.”

All this advocacy is unlikely to make life easier. “You can’t enter into certain spaces as a public trans person,” says the ACLU’s Strangio, “without being prepared to spend some percentage of your life being threatened and harassed.” Yet, while he seems overwhelmed at times, Page is also eager. Many of the political attacks on trans people—whether it is a mandate that bathroom use be determined by birth sex, a blanket ban on medical interventions for trans kids or the suggestion that trans men are simply wayward women beguiled by male privilege—carry the same subtext: that trans people are mistaken about who they are. “We know who we are,” Page says. “People cling to these firm ideas [about gender] because it makes people feel safe. But if we could just celebrate all the wonderful complexities of people, the world would be such a better place.”

Even if Page weren’t vocal, his public presence would communicate something powerful. That is in part because of what Paisley Currah, a professor of political science at Brooklyn College, calls “visibility gaps.” Historically, trans women have been more visible, in culture and in Hollywood, than trans men. There are many explanations: Our culture is obsessed with femininity. Men’s bodies are less policed and scrutinized. Patriarchal people tend to get more emotional about who is considered to be in the same category as their daughters. “And a lot of trans men don’t stand out as trans,” says Currah, who is a trans man himself. “I think we’ve taken up less of the public’s attention because masculinity is sort of the norm.”

During our interviews, Page will repeatedly refer to himself as a “transgender guy.” He also calls himself nonbinary and queer, but for him, transmasculinity is at the center of the conversation right now. “It’s a complicated journey,” he says, “and an ongoing process.”

While the visibility gap means that trans men have been spared some of the hate endured by trans women, it has also meant that people like Page have had fewer models. “There were no examples,” Page says of growing up in Halifax in the 1990s. There are many queer people who have felt “that how they feel deep inside isn’t a real thing because they never saw it reflected back to them,” says Tiq Milan, an activist, author and transgender man. Page offers a reflection: “They can see that and say, ‘You know what, that’s who I am too,’” Milan says. When there aren’t examples, he says, “people make monsters of us.”

For decades, that was something Hollywood did. As detailed in the 2020 Netflix documentary Disclosure, transgender people have been portrayed onscreen as villainous and deceitful, tragic subplots or the butt of jokes. In a sign of just how far the industry has come—spurred on by productions like Pose and trailblazers like Mock—Netflix offered to change the credits on The Umbrella Academy the same day that its star posted his statement on social media. Now when an episode ends, the first words viewers see are “Elliot Page.”

Today, there are many out trans and nonbinary actors, directors and producers. Storylines involving trans people are more common, more respectful. Sometimes that aspect of identity is even incidental, rather than the crux of a morality tale. And yet Hollywood can still seem a frightening place for LGBTQ people to come out. “It’s an industry that says, ‘Don’t do that,’” says director Silas Howard, who got his break on Amazon’s show Transparent, which made efforts to hire transgender crew members. “I wouldn’t have been hired if they didn’t have a trans initiative,” Howard says. “I’m always aware of that.”

So what will it mean for Page’s career? While Page has appeared in many projects, he also faced challenges landing female leads because he didn’t fit Hollywood’s narrow mold. Since Page’s Instagram post, his team is seeing more activity than they have in years. Many of the offers coming in—to direct, to produce, to act—are trans-related, but there are also some “dude roles.”

Downtime in quarantine helped Page accept his gender identity. “I was finally able to embrace being transgender,” he says.

Page was attracted to the role of Vanya in The Umbrella Academy because—in the first season, released in 2019—Vanya is crushed by self-loathing, believing herself to be the only ordinary sibling in an extraordinary family. The character can barely summon the courage to move through the world. “I related to how much Vanya was closed off,” Page says. Now on set filming the third season, co-workers have seen a change in the actor. “It seems like there’s a tremendous weight off his shoulders, a feeling of comfort,” says showrunner Steve Blackman. “There’s a lightness, a lot more smiling.” For Page, returning to set has been validating, if awkward at times. Yes, people accidentally use the wrong pronouns—“It’s going to be an adjustment,” Page says—but co-workers also see and acknowledge him.

The debate over whether cisgender people, who have repeatedly collected awards for playing trans characters, should continue to do so has largely been settled. However, trans actors have rarely been considered for cisgender parts. Whatever challenges might lie ahead, Page seems exuberant about playing a new spectrum of roles. “I’m really excited to act, now that I’m fully who I am, in this body,” Page says. “No matter the challenges and difficult moments of this, nothing amounts to getting to feel how I feel now.”

This includes having short hair again. During our interview, Page keeps rearranging strands on his forehead. It took a long time for him to return to the barber’s chair and ask to cut it short, but he got there. And how did that haircut feel?

Page tears up again, then smiles. “I just could not have enjoyed it more,” he says.”

#suicide m #transphobia m #Elliot Page #transgender #representation #celebrities #actors #tv #movies #rep #trans #transmasculine #nonbinary #queer #long post

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thewidowsghost · 2 years

Text

The Sky’s the Limit - Chapter 13

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Previously:

Simmons steps further into the storage closet, (Y/n)'s lanyard hanging from her arm.

. . .

Fitz steps up to the panel, catching sight of the knife holding the panel down.

. . .

Simmons finds the pancake mix, moving to leave when she sees a trail of red running down the wall beside the doorframe.

. . .

The words, WARD IS HYDRA, is carved into the panel and Fitz stares at the words in shock.

Fitz starts, hearing Simmons's scream.

3rd Person POV

Ward, using black spray-paint, covers up the SHIELD logos on the BUS and cars.

Ward looks over at Skye, who smiles sweetly - wishing Ward was (Y/n).

Skye stops typing when Ward turns away, pulling the USB out of the laptop.

Skye watches for Ward before moving over to what seems to be a medicine cabinet.

"Fitz keeps his candy under his bunk," Ward says from right behind Skye, and the dark haired woman jumps. "What are you up to?" Ward asks.

Skye laughs, "I was just looking for the SAT-phone to call the team, make sure everyone's all right, no one's blown up. Make sure (Y/n) and Coulson are all right." Skye throws in Coulson's name, hoping distract Ward from her true intention.

"I've got the phone," Ward says. "I just talked to Coulson a little while ago."

"You did?" Skye asks.

"Yeah, sorry," Ward says. "Should have told you. They're okay, but the sooner we get to the location, decrypt that drive . . ."

"The sooner we can rendezvous with the team," Skye smiles.

"Exactly," Ward says, his eyes gleaming.

"Seemed like a smart play at the time, geo-locking the drive," Skye says. "Didn't think it would backfire on us." Skye moves back to her computer.

"It hasn't backfired," Ward says, his eyes softening, walking over to Skye. "The drive is supposed to be impossible to crack." Skye begins typing on her keyboard, the keys making a clacking noise. "Pretty specific coordinates, though," Ward says, stepping away from Skye. "You could've picked anywhere in the world. Why a random diner in LA?"

Skye turns around, shrugging, "It was already built into my encryption. Never changed it. But it's fitting. It's where I met Mike Peterson. It's where this whole SHIELD roller coaster started. Plus, tactically, what do you look for in a jobsite?" she questions.

"Public place, lots of people, multiple exits," Ward replies, leaning against a lab table.

"Yep. Figured if I ever got in trouble, I'd be safe there," Skye says.

"Oh, you'll be plenty safe," Ward smiles, stepping closer to Skye, who takes a step back, her back pressing into the table.

Ward pulls a pistol from Skye's waistband. "This," he shakes the gun, "is not the answer." Ward pulls the magazine from the gun.

"What's the matter? A girl can't defend herself?" Skye questions.

"In this situation, the last thing we can afford is to get pinched on a concealed-weapons charge."

Skye's expression stays neutral for a moment before she smiles. "You're right. Again. Couldn't find any new rounds, anyway." She shrugs.

"Hey. We're gonna be okay," Ward smiles. "I promise," he stands up, moving over to Skye, "until this thing is over," he rests his hands on Skye's hips and she shifts uncomfortably, "I'm not gonna let you out of my sight."

. . .

"Skye just walked out of here hand in hand with someone she knows is a murderer," Coulson places a hand on Fitz's shoulder. "Because she's playing him - just like he played us. If I know Skye, she's got plan. And we're gonna find her before Ward figures out what that is."

"I -" Simmons's voice quavers, holding out (Y/n)'s broken lanyard, "I found this in the closet as well."

Coulson, his hands shaking, takes the lanyard. "We need to find Skye and (Y/n)."

. . .

Skye sighs, "I can't remember the last time I sat in a resturant."

"I know," Ward agrees. "It's been all tubes, tunnels, and plane food."

"Maybe," Skye chirps, "I'll get pie for dessert."

"Dessert?" Ward questions. "I was hoping we'd be done by the time I finished coffee."

"Do you have any idea how long it'll take to decrypt this drive?" Skye asks, the two of them walking down the sidewalk.

"For you?" Ward asks. "I figured ten minutes."

"Not even close," Skye replies. "The GPS will take a hot second to calibrate, but I'm working on a laptop. SO even at three cycles per byte, there are still terabytes of data -"

"Spare me the details," Ward interupts, and once again Skye wishes that (Y/n) is with her rather than Ward. (Y/n) always acted interested in what Skye was saying, even if she didn't completely understand what was happening. "Give me the time frame."

"An hour would be a miracle," Skye says.

"Coulson needs this yesterday," Ward says harshly.

"My laptop's not a time machine, Ward," Skye snaps, turning towards him before turning to walk into the diner. "That's the science."

. . .

"You're staring again," Skye says, glancing over her laptop at Ward, furrowing her eyebrows.

"I'm not allowed to do that?" Ward asks, lounging back in the booth.

Skye sighs, looking irritated. "I told you, it's a complicated hack." She turns the computer so Ward can see.

"You've mistaken my admiration for impatience," Ward replies.

"No, it's impatience," Skye grumbles.

"Okay, sorry," Ward raises his hands in surrender. "Didn't mean to stress you out."

"Maybe you should duck outside," Skye advises. "Try again on that SAT-phone just to make sure."

"No," Ward shakes his head. "We stick together and we stick to the plan. The sooner you decrypt this hard drive . . ."

"The sooner we get to them," Skye finishes. "I heard you twice the first time."

"Are you okay?" Ward asks as Skye fails to hack through a firewall. He reaches over, resting a hand on Skye's wrist.

"How can you tell, superspy?" Skye questions.

"Staying unnaturally still to keep from fidgeting," Ward begins, "maintaining eye contact to give the impression of confidence. What's wrong?" he asks.

Skye leans forward with a sigh. "The last this I was in this booth, I was sitting across from Mike Peterson - a good man, and now he's a murderer. And we are FBI's most wanted. It's just," Skye scoffs, "like any moment, something could go horribly wrong."

Ward softens. "Relax. You're doing great.

"Hiding what I'm thinking and feeling, it doesn't come as easy for me as it does for you."

"Well," Ward shifts slightly, "it comes with experience."

"Yeah, I guess it does," Skye sighs.

Two police officers walk into the diner, sitting down at the counter.

Word Count: 1214 words

#daisy johnson x fem reader #daisy johnson x reader #skye x fem reader #skye x reader

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i-want-all-the-cookies · 3 years

Text

So this is just a headcanon of what I think each Union member would probably smell like. Hope you guys like it, and let me know if you would want me to do the Eunjang guys as well, or any other side character.

************ *************************************

Donald Na- Donald would smell like clean linens or a fresh breeze. Now I know what you're thinking, 'What the heck is that even supposed to be or smell like?' I had the exact same thoughts when I was trying to find a nice candle to buy and came across these scents. But surprisingly when I took the lids off to get a whiff, they smelled kinda fresh and crisp. Nothing overpowering, very subtle, and possibly even close to an actual "clean" smell.

•Donald would prefer to have a neutral scent if at all possible. Nothing too flashy or potent and definitely nothing bad. He especially doesn't want to smell of dirt, sweat, or anything that could be associated with his childhood. He will find extreme satisfaction at staying clean, and smelling clean at all times.

•Which is why I also don't see him wearing any body sprays or colognes. He doesn't like other smells to linger on him. With the only true exception being your smell. But even then, he would prefer it on a piece of clothing that he could remove at will if needed. For anything else in his regular day to day life, it's just going to be his own scent. With the occasional situation where he would have to go and attend some type of function, possibly for business. In which case, he would splash on a little dab of high quality cologne for the event and then wash it off as soon as he gets home.

•There will be some moments throughout the day where you may catch a different scent on him. Those being when he's eating and when he's smoking. At those times you will be able to get a whiff of him smelling like warm bread, marinated bulgogi, or even cigarettes. But those moments won't last long, since he would go wash his hands as soon as he is finished. Going as far as even wiping his lips down with some water or a wet wipe after smoking, so that all the parts of him that came in contact with the object get wiped clean.

•Of course what this means for you, is that you will always get Donald at his most bare. So when you hug or hang out, you know that what you smell is not anything synthetic but his own authentic clean scent that you can enjoy.

____________

Jimmy Bae- Jimmy would have a warm woodsy scent. Nothing too strong or sharp, but definitely outdoorsy in nature. So when he picks you up in a big bear hug lifting your feet off the ground, either to feel you squirm as you try to set your feet back onto solid ground or to just hold you tighter so you won't scurry away, he will smell like a walk through the woods on a warm spring day. Where you are able to smell some of the foliage mixed in with warmed up tree bark that's been heated up from the sun.

•Part of this is because, unlike Donald, Jimmy likes to smell of something. So he will use scented body soap in the shower, and will even give himself a quick burst of some type of body spray (imagine something like Axe body spray) when he is finished showering or getting ready. And he prefers woodsy, natural scents over high perfumed ones.

•But of course this is Jimmy we're talking about, so he will also always have a subtle lingering smell of cigarettes. He won't be as meticulous at washing afterwards as Donald, but if there is a sink or washroom nearby he will go and at least wash his hands. Especially if you happen to be around. But if there isn't any in the area, then he will definitely not loose any sleep over it.

______________

Forrest Lee- Forrest will smell like cloves with a hint of cardamon. Since I see him as more of a tea drinker than a coffee drinker. And there is actually this black tea, that's made with added whole cloves and cardamon pods, that just makes everything smell soo good. And it taste absolutely yummy (kinda like how I imagine Forrest to taste...I mean, smell like 😉).

•The scent would be caused not only by Forrest's tea drinking habits, but also because of the body and hair products he uses. Forrest, like Jimmy, will use scented body wash. But unlike Jimmy, Forrest will also use lotion on his hands and body. So whenever he reaches out to hold onto your hand or he happens to touch a part of your body, it will always be with soft, firm hands. Of course that still wouldn't matter to those he decides to slap around, as to them, it would still feel like a damn bear was the one hitting them across the face.

•And since Forrest is also a smoker, so he will also have a lingering cigarette smell to him. Especially when he wears his leather jacket. Which is most of the time. Since the leather seems to pick up and hold onto the smokey scent more than regular clothing would. But that still doesn't stop him from offering you his jacket when he thinks you look cold. He will just hope that you dont mind the smell too much, and would probably try to "shake it out" (as if that would do anything lol) before handing it to you. But the plus side to that situation is that once you hand back his jacket, the leather would have picked up on some of your scent as well, and now HE gets to smell you for the rest of the day or night.

____________

Jake Ji- Ok Jake will absolutely smell like sweet candy. Cotton candy, those little sugar tabs, lollipops, you name it. If it smells like sugary candy then it smells like Jake. It's also good to mention that he probably has the biggest sweet tooth in the Union, Donald coming in as a close second, so he is constantly munching down on the latest ice cream flavor, new novelty hard candy with a fizzy center, or trying out the multiple flavor combinations of boba drinks.

•Jake also doesn't seem to care what he uses on his body, either in the shower or after when getting ready. So if there happens to be a strawberry scented shampoo in the shower when he's bathing, most likely belonging to his mom, then he's using it. If he's at your house and he feels like his hands are dry, then he will grab some of your sweet pea lotion, without a second thought to it. Might even decide to hug you right as you're applying some perfume or body spray, and get sprayed in the process. It's ok, it won't bother him at all, and now he gets to smell just like you anywhere he goes.

•But other than the impromptu spray you provide him, he isn't into any specific colognes or body sprays, so what you smell off of him is simply the stuff he uses on his skin. If you would like him to smell a certain way more than another, then gift him a body set in that scent, and he will without a doubt use it on himself from head to toe.

___________

Wolf Keum- Wolf is more of an enigma when it comes to scents. Because he could not give two shits about anything he puts on his body, such as body wash, sprays, or lotions. So everything that he does use is usually scentless. Which means that he has the most natural smell out of everyone.

•The bad news is that it easily gets overpowered by other things he does throughout the day. More so than anyone else, Wolf's scent changes as the day progresses.

•In the morning he will most likely smell heavily of coffee. Because this guy needs his coffee to be STRONG. Or at least powerful enough to keep him awake throughout the day or to cure off the previous night's hangover. Later in the afternoon it will shift to the lingering smell of cigarettes, as he seems to be one of the heavier smokers of the Union. And on some nights, he might even end up with the faint smell of whatever alcohol he was drinking at the local club or bar that he managed to get into. Then there is also all the random moments where he happens to even smell like you, especially after you both have hung out for a good length of time. 😏

•But even at the end of each night or after a very long day, it would still be possible to get a whiff of Wolf's own natural scent. At least to those who can get him to drop his guard, and who he would allow to get close enough to rest their nose into the crook of his neck. Where they would inhale the sweet scent of cookies. Cuz what else would one of the most ruthless guys in the Union smell like if not the warm, comforting smell of baked treats.

#WeakHero #Howtheysmell #DonaldNa #JimmyBae #ForrestLee #JakeJi #WolfKeum #YeongdeungpoDelinquentUnion #TheUnion #Smell #Scent #Webtoons #Fanfic #Headcanon #Howdoyoumakelinebreaks #Where'sthehorizontallinesat #IseriouslyspentmoretimetryingtofigurethatoutthanactuallywrittingthisandIhadtogiveupbeforeIlostmyshit #Tutorialneeded

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immaturityofthomasastruc · 3 years

Text

IOTA Reviews: Guiltrip

So, my week has been hell. In addition to working night and day on final essays for my classes, I've been really busy at work lately, and the second COVID vaccine shot really took a lot out of me this week. And that's not even getting into the bureaucratic nonsense that comes with applying for the MTEL which is slowly making me wonder if I actually want to teach in the first place.

But, despite all that, there was a single light of hope this week that almost made it all worth it.

STAR WARS: THE BAD BATCH, BABY!

OH MY GOD, THIS SHOW IS AMAZING! I ALWAYS LOVED THE CLONE-CENTRIC EPISODES OF THE CLONE WARS, AND NOW WE GET AN ENTIRE SHOW ABOUT AN ELITE TEAM OF THEM? KICKASS! AND IT TAKES PLACE AFTER ORDER 66 WITH GRAND MOFF TARKIN AS THE MAIN VILLAIN? SWEET MOTHER OF GEORGE LUCAS, I CAN'T WAIT! I DON'T EVEN CARE THAT THEY TRADED IN THE COOL SNIPER CLONE FOR SOME LITTLE GIRL CLONE, I ALREADY WANT TO SEE MORE THAN THE TWO EPISODES WE GOT SO FAR! GOD, I LOVE THIS SHOW!

Oh yeah, there was also a new episode of Miraculous Ladybug that aired on the same day too, I guess. It was pretty good. Hell of a lot better than the past three episodes I've sat through.

Let's get into the fifth (chronologically the eleventh) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Guiltrip

We start off in the middle of class where we see Marinette looking at Adrien lovingly.

Because the writers are still trying to push the Love Square on us as if they were trying to sell us some death sticks. And yes, expect a few Star Wars jokes in this review. This episode did premiere on May 4th after all.

Rose suddenly gets a headache, and asks to go to the nurse, saying that “Miss Dora” is back. While walking there with Marinette, she explains that it's a code name she gives when her head hurts and can tell Miss Bustier without letting everyone know. She probably felt a name like “Maya Grain” would just give it away.

At lunch, Juleka gets a text that really upsets her, so Marinette tries to cheer her up. Keyword being “tries”.

Okay, yes, this is referencing the previous scene, where Rose refers to a certain snack at the nurse's office she eats to recover her health whenever “Miss Dora” visits called “Mr. Coffee”, but it's just bad timing. I get Marinette has a habit of not reading the room, but why did she have to use the term “Miss Dora” when she knows what it's being used for? Sure, she doesn't know that Juleka knows, but did she really have to say “Miss Dora”? She couldn't have used any other name instead? It's like making a chemotherapy joke when you just found out someone close to you has cancer. Even putting the context aside, what is this joke's punchline supposed to be? That “Miss Dora” will visit Juleka if she eats her lunch? Even by the humor standards of this show, the joke fails spectacularly.

Marinette bumps into Adrien, and although she stutters a little with a little exaggerated body movement, she does manage to take things seriously so she can have an actual conversation with Adrien about Juleka, who wants to be alone. She explains that the text she got was from Rose, who was sent to the hospital because of her sickness, and the entire class finds out because Marinette texted everyone to come to check on Juleka.

Goddamn it, Marinette. I usually defend you for getting screwed over by the writing, but you really aren't on your A game today.

Juleka explains that Rose got this sickness when she was little, which naturally worried everyone else. To make things worse, Juleka also says Rose made her swear to not tell anyone about her to worry her. Everyone else swears to not let Rose know that they know, and the act of support is actually enough to drive away an Akuma targeted at Juleka.

Unfortunately, nobody ever said anything about being overly affectionate to Rose, so everyone in the class tries to do things for Rose like carry her bags, giving her a pillow to sit on in school, helping her take notes, letting her cut in line at lunch, and giving her apples.

All of this makes Juleka remorsefully tell Rose that she told everyone else, which worries her because she hates all the special treatment, so she goes to tell them all about her illness. While they seem to accept her, the next time she sneezes, they overreact like, uh... how can I make this joke in a tasteful way?

Rose says she's had enough with all the treatment, which makes Juleka feel guilty. In the bathroom, she gets akumatized into Reflekta (yet again) with a Sentimonster named Guiltrip. And then Reflekta immediately gets sucked into the Sentimonster, which will cause it to go out of control. Nice job, Shadowmoth.

While it might not look like much, this is easily my favorite Sentimonster by far. Granted, that's not saying much, given all we've gotten so far for Sentimonsters is bootleg Mothra, sentient candy, a robotic doll, a frog with a body count, yet another evil doppelganger, and an eye, but my point still stands. Rather than actually confront the heroes, it's basically a portal to another world where it can trap people in bubbles that represent their regrets and despair, and turn them into copies of Reflekta.

It's a really strong metaphor which reminds me of the villains from Kamen Rider Wizard, who tried to drive their victims to despair in order to turn them into monsters. Ironically, that show's main villain is also some asshole in white who was risking countless lives just to save someone close to him. In general, the area inside of Guiltrip is visually stunning, and easily the highlight of the episode. It's just so surreal, and it really sets the tone the episode's going for.

Ladybug and Cat Noir arrive on the scene, and also get sucked into the portal, seeing some of the victims before they also start to fall into despair. And I can't believe I'm saying this, but this is one of the few times where Angstdrien Depreste is thematically appropriate. Cat Noir points out that if they had simply defeated Shadowmoth by now, none of this would be happening, which is a good point. He even attempts to kill himself using his Cataclysm, but unlike RWBY, they don't try to glorify it.

This also leads to Rose managing to fight off Guiltrip's powers with her optimistic personality (so I guess you could say she's A New Hope for the heroes), inspiring Ladybug to compliment Cat Noir. While I'd normally be pissed that this is yet another way to boost his ego, it does fit in with the episode's theme of positive thinking. Well, with the exception of one line where she points out what her time as Ladybug would be like without Cat Noir...

BEING A SUPERHERO IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUN. Yes, there are certain benefits to being a superhero, but it is not a fun game you play when lives are on the line. Why are the writers so dedicated to validate Cat Noir's beliefs that being a hero is just a fun extracurricular activity? Has there ever been a superhero who shares a similar mentality and isn't treated like a complete jackass?

So Ladybug and Cat Noir break free of the bubbles, and after summoning her Lucky Charm, a pickaxe, Ladybug realizes she needs more positivity to break free from Guiltrip. As such, she pulls out the Pig Miraculous and gives it to Rose, who transforms into Pigella. Funny how she forgot her little headache condition when she bangs her head like a death metal singer while transforming.

The design is... wait, she's not wearing a skin-tight jumpsuit? She's actually wearing something different?

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Yeah, I really like the Pigella design. There's a good mix of pink and white, and the skirt really brings the whole thing together. It really reflects Rose's optimistic and bubbly personality.

So the three heroes find Reflekta, who has been consumed by tons of bubbles. Pigella uses her superpower, Gift, to show Reflekta what her heart wants the most right now. So it's basically a more specific version of the Fox Miraculous? In fact, what do pigs have to do with optimism?

Whatever reason, it works, which helps Reflekta to break free of Guiltrip's influence, letting Ladybug de-evilize her. But because we need to have a fight scene in this episode, the Reflekta clones start to attack the heroes, but Ladybug uses the pickaxe to climb out of Guiltrip and purify the Amok.

So Rose hands the Pig Miraculous back to Ladybug, and the episode ends with everyone treating Rose normally in class, realizing she isn't as delicate as she thinks she is.

So yeah, I really like this episode. Aside from a few stupid things Marinette said this episode, I honestly don't have a lot of problems with the episode here.

I also really like the lesson this episode is going for. It doesn't shame Rose for rejecting the help, and it doesn't shame the class for being to overprotective of Rose either. It tries to find a middle ground, which is an important lesson to learn, not just for dealing with a loved one who has an illness, but for disabled people and other kinds of situations where someone has a disadvantage. Even as much as I ragged on Marinette for the text, it's clear that she isn't the only one to blame. In fact, nobody really gets blamed for anything this episode. It's more of a misunderstanding, and both sides find a balance on how to treat Rose.

It's overall a really good episode, and the second best one so far this season. And you know what? This episode taught me the importance of staying positive, so with that in mind, maybe I shouldn't be dreading “Queen Banana” when it comes out this week.

Wait, what? It got pushed back two weeks? Oh, THANK GOD! Now I feel like dancing. And I know exactly what song to dance to...

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#immaturity of thomas astruc #iota #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug salt #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug #adrien agreste #cat noir #chat noir #rose lavillant #pigella #gabriel agreste #hawkmoth #hawk moth #shadowmoth #shadow moth #juleka couffaine #reflekta

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fanfic-archive · 3 years

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Meeting the Baron (3/7)

Chapter 3. Riga, Latvia

Summary: Next stop? Riga and Zemo’s Latvian flat. Zemo proves that breaking him out of prison wasn’t an all-bad idea, providing you with invaluable information and leads, but it’s not that surprising that the new Captain America had finally caught up with your ragtag group.

Part 1, Part 2

Word Count: 4695

The search for Karli took the four of you to Riga, Latvia. And, thankfully, Zemo had somewhere there for you all to stay. He really was proving himself useful, if nothing else he had funded everything for the three of you. Clothes, travel, lodging, it certainly made things easier.

Now, Zemo was guiding the there of you through the streets of Riga and towards his place where you would all be staying.

“I heard what became of Sokovia. Cannibalised by its neighbours before the land was even cleared of rubble, erased from the map” Zemo spoke up, making you a little curious. Of course, Sam and Bucky had explained what had happened to Sokovia but this was the first time that he was speaking of it. “I don’t suppose any of you bothered visiting the memorial?” he asked, the question pointed more towards Sam. “Of course not. Why would you?” he continued when Sam didn’t respond, sounding calm but you sensed the underlying annoyance. “We are here” he announced as you arrived outside his property.

“I’m gonna go on a walk” Bucky stopped, making you all turn back to him.

“You good?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, I’ll see you guys in a bit” Bucky just nodded before walking off in the opposite direction.

“I worry about him sometimes” you sighed to yourself.

“Yeah, me too” Sam patted your shoulder before the two of you followed Zemo inside.

Now, this was much closer to what you expected from the Baron when it came to housing. This safehouse, if you could call it that, was much nicer and more spacious than where you had stayed in Madripoor. The room was warmly lit, the sun coming through stain glass windows. The décor was much more of what you expected as well, the style and furniture a mix between traditional and modern. In summary, you liked the space, and if this was a safehouse of his, it was still much nicer than your apartment back home.

The three of you settled in, Sam sitting down to do some research, Zemo disappearing into the bathroom, and you making yourself a drink before falling down onto the couch. Here you were, on the run, tracking down a rebel group, but living in much better conditions.

Taking a sip from your glass, your attention turned to the opening bathroom doors, where Zemo stepped out. You couldn’t help but stare despite your better judgement, he was a sight to take in like this. Blue bathrobe, tied securely but revealing the top of his chest, letting you catch a glimpse of the silver chain that hung around his neck and just the right amount of chest hair.

As your gaze travelled up his body, finally landing on his face, you saw that he was already looking at you. Knowing you had been caught, you placed your glass down and stood up, walking over to Sam to see if he had found any information. Just anything to make it look like you hadn’t been checking him out, but Zemo had noticed. He didn’t say anything, just smirking to himself as he made himself a drink.

Thankfully, Bucky returned from his ‘walk’, closing the door behind him. “Well, the Wakandans are here. They want Zemo. Bought us some more time” Bucky informed you all, just adding another complication into the mess you had all found yourselves in.

“Were you followed?” Sam asked, standing as you both followed Bucky over to the kitchen.

“No” Bucky answered.

“How can you be so sure?” Zemo questioned, joining the four of you in the kitchen.

“Because I know when I’m being followed” Bucky shot him a glare.

“It was sweet of you to defend me at least” Zemo hummed, sipping from his drink.

“Hey, you shut it. No one’s defending you. You killed Nagel” Sam reminded him.

“Do we really have to litigate what may or may not have happened?” Zemo asked as if it meant nothing.

“There’s nothing to litigate. You straight shot the man” Sam couldn’t believe he was having this argument but you just smiled to yourself, knowing that Zemo was just trying to bother him. The Baron just shrugged, moving to stand on the opposite side of the kitchen island from you.

“Sam” Bucky got his attention, and you were about to listen to what he had to say but Zemo got your attention.

“Schatzi” the nickname made you turn to the Baron. You weren’t sure what the word translated to specifically, but you were sure it was a term of endearment of some kind, something that should have bothered you but didn’t even in the slightest.

“What?” you asked, turning your attention to him.

“Turkish Delight?” Zemo offered, completely throwing you off.

“Uh…” you weren’t sure how to answer that, this man repeatedly confused and surprised you. He just found out that the Wakandans were here for him and he was offering you candy?

Even though you didn’t really answer, he handed you one of the wrapped candies, placing it in your palm. “There. Irresistible” he smiled, looking you in the eye as he spoke. You had no idea why, it was just something about the way he said it, about the way that he looked at you, but it made heat rise to your cheeks and you just knew that he noticed. But neither of you commented, you just unwrapped the treat and ate it.

“Y/n” Bucky said your name to get your attention when he realised you hadn’t heard anything they had been talking about.

“Sorry, what?” you asked, looking back at Bucky and Sam.

“Did you hear what we were just talking about” Bucky asked.

“Uh no, I was…eating” you confused, blushing some more but this time from embarrassment.

“Karli bombed a GRC supply depot. There were eleven injured and three dead, and they’re threatening more attacks if their demands aren’t met” Bucky informed you.

“What? They haven’t done anything like that before” your eyes widened in shock.

“She’s getting worse” Zemo commented disapprovingly.

It was becoming even more important that you found Karli. Sam made the point that they would probably be holding a memorial for Donya and that the best way of finding Karli was to get some information on where it was being held.

And so, the four of you got ready and headed back out into Riga. Zemo lead the way, your own personal tour guide, to a refugee camp.

“Shame what’s become of this place” Zemo spoke as you stepped into the camp, looking around with a sense of familiarity but a little distain. “When I was young, we used to come here for fabulous dinners and parties. I knew nothing of the politics of the time, of course, but I remember it being beautiful” he told you, and his words did seem more directed towards you than the men you were with.

“It still has a certain beauty to it” you claimed, and you meant it. You couldn’t picture what it was like all those years ago but if you took away the pain that was happening here, you would find it rather beautiful.

“I envy you, being able to see it with fresh eyes” Zemo looked down at you, and he seemed sincere.

“I’m gonna take a look around upstairs. See what you can find out here” uninterested in the conversation, Sam took a step back from the group. “And keep an eye on him” he ordered the two of you.

“I’ll stay out of your way” Zemo assured Bucky, who just nodded before going to look around and see what he could find. “Liebling, would you mind accompanying me?” the Baron asked you.

“Sure…why?” you nodded, wondering what he was planning.

With a small smile, Zemo placed a hand on your back and led you over to where a group of children were playing. “Children usually have an easier time trusting women” he lent down towards your ear to explain.

Still wondering what he was up to, you walked with him, it was your job to keep an eye on him after all. He removed his hand from your back and pulled a wooden stool out in front of him, sitting down on a bench behind it. On top of the stool, he emptied out wrapped candies from a brown paper bag that he retrieved from a pocket in his coat. That had certainly gained the interest of the children.

“Turkish Delight” he informed the young girl who had stepped closer, “it was always my son’s favourite.”

The comment had made you glance at him, a feeling of sympathy settling in your chest. You knew what had happened to his family, Sam had explained his motives to you when he was explaining who Zemo was, but this was the first time he had spoken of either his son or his wife. He had only just mentioned Sokovia for the first time when you arrive in Riga, but you understood, you couldn’t imagine how painful the subject must be.

The girl came closer and took one of the Turkish Delights, waiting to see what the two of you wanted. “My old friend, Donya, passed away. Did you know her?” Zemo asked and she nodded. “I would like to pay my last respects. Do you know where her funeral will be?” again, she nodded.

Zemo smiled and pointed towards his ear, to which the girl hurried around to his side to whisper to him. Once the girl stepped away again, Zemo looked up at you and nodded, letting you know that he had the location.

“Thank you” you gave the girl a kind smile and gestured for her to take another Turkish Delight, and she did with a smile of her own.

Zemo stood, picking up a handful of sweets. “This is our little secret, okay?” he asked and all of the children nodded. In return, he handed them the remaining sweets for them to divide between themselves. “Liebling?” he offered you his arm and you couldn’t help but smile a little as you took it, letting him guide you back towards Bucky and Sam, who had returned.

Bucky gave you a questioning look as you approached but you just shrugged at him. “Cute kids” Zemo commented as the two of you walked past them.

It wasn’t until you all returned to the safehouse that Zemo revealed what he had learnt. You, Sam and Bucky sat on the couch while Zemo headed for the kitchen.

“That little girl. What did she tell you?” Bucky asked as Zemo approached you all with a tray of tea.

“The funeral is this afternoon” Zemo told you, placing the tray down.

“You know the Dora’s coming for you any minute. In fact, they’re probably lurking outside right now. Keep talking” Bucky reminded him but it sounded more like a threat.

“Leaving you to turn on me once we get to Karli. I prefer to keep my leverage” while it was irritating to the three of you, Zemo made sense. He was a wanted criminal, why would he give you all the information he had so that you didn’t need him anymore.

Bucky abruptly stood up, rounding the coffee table. He took the glass straight out of Zemo’s hand and threw it at the wall behind him, causing it to shatter. “You wanna see what someone can do with leverage?” he threated, trying to intimidate him.

“Bucky, calm down” you jumped up from your seat and got between the two men, your back to Zemo. “Don’t let him use this against you” you pleaded with Bucky, you knew he was better than threats of physical violence and you didn’t need him beating himself up about this later on.

“She’s right, man” Sam spoke calmly, and Bucky thankfully backed off. “Let me make a phone call” he gave Bucky one last look before leaving the room, and Bucky followed after him.

“Very sweet of you, thank you” Zemo smirked slightly as you turned to face him. You had defended him against your friend, and he suspected multiple motivations behind your actions.

“Don’t mention it” you sighed, shaking your head at him.

“Want some Cherry Blossom tea?” Zemo offered, as if the confrontation just never happened.

“That actually sounds pretty good” you confessed.

He smiled and gestured towards the remaining cups on the tray, you picked one up and took a seat on the couch, letting out a small sigh as you did so. Zemo picked up another cup before sitting beside you.

“I, uh…I’m sorry about your family…and your country, I can’t imagine what you went through” you spoke up after a moment of silence. You contemplated bringing up the subject but decided to give it a shot.

You knew that the others found it hard to sympathise with him after everything he put them through and you understood that, but it felt like something that had to be said. The Baron looked at you before looking back at his drink, and you noticed his hesitation about speaking. It was understandably painful for him and you were ready to drop the subject if needs be.

“Now, why should you apologise? You didn’t even know about it until recently” Zemo asked. It wasn’t the response you had expected but you weren’t too surprised, he had been acting unphased by nearly everything happening, he was just keeping up that act now.

“I…guess I just thought someone should” you admitted, and that answer made him think for a moment. “If you would like to talk about it, I’d listen” you offered, assuming he hadn’t had anyone to confide in for a long time, “or we can pretend I never mentioned it.”

He hesitated but finally spoke. “My father lived outside the city, I thought we would be safe there” Zemo started and instantly all of your attention was on him, you hadn’t really expected him to speak about it but now that he was, all you would do was listen. “My son was excited, he could see the Iron Man from the car window. I told my wife ‘Don’t worry, they’re fighting in the city. We’re miles from harm.’” You couldn’t imagine the guilt is must have felt for that. “When the dust cleared…and the screaming stopped…it took me two days until I found their bodies. My father…still holding my wife and son in his arms” the way he stared at the tea in his hands told you that he was reliving that moment, it was one of those things that just sticks with you. You can’t forget, you can only move forward. “And the Avengers? They went home…I admit, I let vengeance consume me, but my time alone provided plenty of opportunities for insight. Perhaps I have changed to an extent since my arrest, but I still stand by what I believe. Idols, superheroes, they are dangerous.”

You didn’t say anything, there was nothing to be said, so you just reached over and placed your hand on his, stroking your thumb back and forth in a comforting manner. Nothing could change the past, nothing could make it better, and you knew that he didn’t want or need to hear your condolences. You just wanted him to know that he wasn’t alone, he had formed an unlikely alliance here. Zemo looked down at where your hand sat atop his, the gesture was appreciated.

The sound of voices approaching caught your attention, you pulled your hand away from his just as Sam and Bucky came back into the room. Neither of the noticing.

“Ready?” Sam asked, not wanting to miss the memorial. You just nodded as you stood up.

The way you pulled your hand away when your friends entered the room suggested to Zemo that the gesture had meant a little more than simple sympathy. It was something you thought you should hide from your friends, and it made him all the more curious.

Once again, Zemo was leading the three of you through Riga. You were a little distracted, taking a moment to just look around and admire the unfamiliar streets. Cobblestone streets, old fashioned streetlamps, bright flowers decorating windows, it wasn’t what you were used too, and you loved it.

“Hey, Y/n, you with us?” Sam tapped your arm, bringing you back to reality.

“Yeah, sorry…just looking around” you told them honestly, with a small laugh.

“I take it you’re enjoying Riga?” Zemo asked rhetorically, glad that you were enjoying your visit.

“I definitely think I could take a vacation here” you nodded.

“When was the last time you had a vacation?” Bucky asked, knowing that wasn’t really something you had much opportunity for.

“Uh…since I was a child I guess, and I never left the States” you answered.

“Well, I’d be honoured to be your tour guide if we get the chance” Zemo offered with a smile.

“I’d like that” you returned the smile, definitely liking the sound of having Zemo show you more of the country, maybe even more of the world.

“Karli Morgenthau is too dangerous for you guys to be pulling this shit” a loud voice interrupted, making you look ahead to see John Walker approaching.

“How’d you find us now?” Bucky called to him.

“Come on, you think two Avengers can walk around Latvia without drawing attention?” Lemar asked and you couldn’t really argue with that, it wasn’t a miracle that they found you.

“No more keeping us in the dark” Walker told them. “You can start by telling us why you broke him out of prison” he pointed towards Zemo.

“He did that himself, technically” Bucky corrected him.

“This better be an unbelievable explana-” Walker began but was interrupted.

“Hey, take it easy before it gets weird” Sam stepped in when he noticed how agitated John was getting.

“And who’s this?” John asked, pointing towards you this time.

“A friend” you told him simply.

“Of who? Them or him?” he questioned you, gesturing towards Zemo, accusing you of being a partner in crime of the Baron.

“Them…but more him than you” you shrugged, but he didn’t seem pleased with your answer.

“I know where Karli is” Zemo told the soldiers, tired of the conversation, and began to pass John but was stopped by a hand against his chest.

“Where?” John demanded an answer.

“All we know is it’s a memorial” Sam answered when Zemo remained silent.

Seeing something up ahead, Zemo pushed John’s hand away and passed him anyway. “Liebling?” he looked back at you, encouraging you to follow, so you nodded and did.

When John realised that you were both walking away, John placed a hand on your shoulder to halt you. “Look, we’re kinda busy and don’t have time to argue, so get out the way, okay?” you gave him a sarcastic smile as you pushed his hand off of you.

“Do you know who I am? I’m Captain America” John was clearly angry with the way you responded to him, annoyed that you truly didn’t care about who he was.

“You’re a guy in a star-spangled suit, alright? Calm down” you scoffed at his arrogance before pushing past him to catch up with Zemo, missing the look of anger on John’s face.

The other four followed behind the two of you, John and Sam arguing about how to handle the situation with Karli. John planned on fighting no matter what, but Sam wanted to try to talk to Karli, which was the plan you agreed with.

“So, where exactly are we going?” you asked Zemo, ignoring the bickering that was happening behind you.

“My associate is just up ahead” Zemo announced, which seemed to get the attention of the others.

At the end of the road was the girl from the camp who had given you the location of the funeral. You all approached her, Zemo and you standing in front of the others since she better recognised the two of you.

“Hello, my friend” Zemo greeted her kindly. “This is for your family” he handed her a generous amount of money, making you smile. He didn’t have to offer her so much, but he did. “Can you show us the way?” he asked.

The girl nodded, gesturing for you all to follow her before walking ahead, and so you all did. She took you to where the memorial was being held before disappearing futher into the building, leaving you all to your business.

Once alone, John handcuffed Zemo to a boiler, telling Sam that he had ten minutes before you were doing things ‘his way’. Sam nodded to you and Bucky before following the path that the young girl had gone, going to find Karli, while the rest of you would wait.

Bucky stood in the doorway to prevent John from interfering too early, John sat against the wall looking agitated, Lemar sat on the ground beside him, and you stood by Zemo. All of you just waiting.

“No, no, no. This is a bad idea” John mumbled to himself as he started pacing.

“It hasn’t been ten minutes, John. Just sit tight” Bucky watched him carefully.

“Don’t do that. Don’t patronise me” John snapped.

“He’s not, we all just have to stay calm” you spoke up calmly, trying to talk the man down. Sam knew what he was doing.

“Who even are you?” John’s anger and frustration was peaking now as he walked over to you, beginning to get in your face.

Before John could get too close, Zemo had stepped out and got in between you both, his wrist still attached to the boiler. Looking between you both, John just scoffed, a comment forming on his tongue.

“Sam knows what he’s doing” Bucky assured the two men, getting John’s attention back on him. Instantly, the two men started arguing again.

“What are you thinking?” Zemo asked you quietly, keeping your attention on him.

“He’s antsy…” you commented, squinting at the back of the blonde’s head, “something’s going on with him.”

“What do you think it is?” he wanted to know what you thought.

“…performance issues” you half-joked, earning an eyebrow raise from Zemo. “I mean it, probably feels a little…emasculated. Plus, the pressure is probably getting to him. He thinks he’s Captain America, but he knows he’s not Steve Rogers” you explained yourself.

“Good observation” Zemo nodded in approval.

“Thanks. Do I get a Turkish Delight for my troubles?” you joked, smiling up at him.

“You can have whatever you like” Zemo promised you and it felt like a very real offer. For a moment, you just looked at each other, you trying to figure out exactly what he meant by that and him allowing you to do so.

“Ah, crap” you sighed, the moment ruined when you saw Bucky following John and Lemar further into the building.

“Impatient” Zemo chastised under his breath, equally annoyed about being interrupted.

“Alright, let’s get you out of these” you turned to the handcuffs, examining them.

“You know how to pick locks?” Zemo asked, digging into an inside pocket of his coat before holding a lockpick out for you. “Always prepared” he told you proudly when you gave him a questioning look.

“Of course I know how to pick a lock, who do you think I am?” you answered, taking the pick from him. “Honestly just surprised that you haven’t already picked it” you hummed, using the lockpick he had provided to open the cuffs.

“I was enjoying my time with you” the Baron smiled when you looked up at him, a little surprised by the comment, as the cuffs opened. Was he…flirting with you? So blatantly?

Once again, the moment was cut short by the sound of fighting and gunshots. “Come on” you handed him the lockpick back before the two of you headed further into the building.

You pulled your gun out of your holster, readying it in case you ran into trouble, but Zemo pulled out a gun of his own.

“Again, with the gun?” you looked at him in disbelief, where does he keep getting them from and why is nobody noticing?

“Will you allow me to keep it this time?” Zemo asked.

“Yes, whatever” you nodded, you weren’t going to unarm him in a dangerous situation, you could use the extra gun.

The building was like a maze, you had been following corridor after corridor and you still hadn’t come across anyone. Neither of you knew the building and so took it in turns to decide which turn to take.

The two of you were walking down the next corridor, passing the start of another when a gunshot rang out. Without hesitation, Zemo grabbed you and pulled you both away from the corridor’s entrance, pinning you to the wall beside it by your shoulders.

Your breathing was heavy as you processed what had happened, that Zemo had pulled you out of the way of potentially being shot. Now the two of you stood a little too close, his body shielding yours against the wall, chests falling and rising as your breathing steadied, wide eyes looking up at him.

You couldn’t have been there for long, just looking at each other, before his lips were suddenly on yours, his hands sliding up from your shoulders to cup your face. With an almost embarrassing lack of restraint, you returned the kiss with an equal passion. Your hands gripped his arms, holding each other close as an unspoken tension was slightly released.

It reminded you of that night in Madripoor, of the pull you felt towards him and the spark that he ignited within you. The difference right now was that there was no reason for the two of you two kiss, no act to keep up, nobody to convince, it was simply because you both wanted too.

Another gunshot pulled you both away from each other. Zemo took a step back as you raised your gun, stepping out from behind the corner to shoot the attacker, landing a non-fatal hit to the leg. Aiming to disable but not to kill. Zemo tapped your shoulder before you both hurried down the corridor, not having the time to linger on the moment you both just shared or address what it meant.

The two of you came to a room, your eyes widening when you saw Karli. Zemo didn’t even hesitate before shooting at her, he managed to hit her once but when he shot again, she jumped over a table and took cover.

“Zemo” you warned as he approached, knowing Sam wouldn’t be okay with him killing her.

As the two of you approached the table, he shot at the ground to keep her behind it, but got distracted by multiple small vials of a blue substance that had fallen to the floor.

“Is this what I think it is?” Zemo picked up a vial, examining it. It could only be one thing, the super soldier serum.

You flinched a little at the sound of glass shattering when he started destroying the vials, but you couldn’t say that you completely disagreed with the destruction of them. In the end, it was probably for the best.

While he was distracted, Karli quickly got up and ran for the stairs. You acted as quickly as you could and shot in her direction but missed and she escaped with another one of the Flag Smashers. Next thing you knew, Captain America’s shield was flying in front of your face, hitting Zemo in the side of the head and knocking him unconscious.

“Zemo” you gasped under your breath before kneeling down to check on him.

You carefully took his head in your hands and examined his face, he wasn’t bleeding. You checked his pulse and gently lay his head back down, he seemed alright for the most part. While you were fretting over the Baron, you didn’t see John picking up and pocketing a surviving vial, and then Sam, Bucky, and Lemar were running into the room.

You looked up at Sam and Bucky, and they just looked at you as if to ask ‘what the hell happened?’

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@viviace @hannahbal-the-fannibal @multiplums

(Just ask to be added!)

#Helmut Zemo x reader #Zemo x reader #Baron Zemo x reader #helmut zemo #zemo #baron zemo #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws

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riktorart · 3 years

Photo

“Welcome for the third, and (hopefully) final time to the auditorium, beloved students of Night Raven College! Yes, as many of you expect, this assembly is in regards to our ice cream fundraiser, which has yet to take off! However, now that I’ve recovered from my horrific injuries from last month’s assembly, I say it’s time for us to start anew, and introduce our new line of flavors!

… Why are you all groaning??? Truly you’ve not grown tired of ice cream already, have you?! … No, no, it can’t be… You all just must be far too excited to carry on! Very well! I shall introduce to you the newest flavors, and then you’ll be off! Making me… Err, the school, enough Madol to fix the chandelier that was broken (again) last week!

… Hm? Why aren’t we using the past flavors? … Well… You see there was a… Ah, would you look at the time! If we don’t start now, we’ll never finish! Vargas! Bring up the first cooler!!! NOW!!!

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Lemon Zestvolt- Don’t let his frown fool you, this sweet cream is actually quite sweet, with it’s mellow mix of lemon and lime that’ll make you smile! (... Though, it does take quite a while to actually get past the bitter aftertaste… And it’s surprisingly loud… And… It feels like it’s constantly judging my every move according to a standard that’s quite frankly unrealistic… And... You know what? We’re just going to move on for the sake of my self-confidence!)

Blue Berrygrotto- Despite it’s name, this treat’s name is quite deceiving! It’s not just blueberry, but in fact, a mix of eight different types of berries, all baked into a freshly warm pie and served a la Mode with a trustworthy smile~! (… Hm? What do you mean that sounds a bit much…? Ehrm, no matter!)

Even if it’s a bit… Wet, you won’t mind at all once you enjoy it’s wonderfully sophisticated taste! Ah and would you look at that! On sale for only 300 Madol! What a steal~! Make sure you stop by the cafeteria to buy a Blue Berrygrotto today!

Lion-Colored Kingsicle… Stick- … Well! There was a batch of ice cream in this cooler… And now it’s gone. We have no idea where it we- (... Oh, hold on, did we find them?) … Well! Turns out that as we speak, the original ice cream has been found tucked into obscure corners of the college where no person in their right mind would even think to look, or… On beds… (It seems the only reason they’ve been found is because they’ve begun to melt…)

… Well! We still have popsicle sticks available, so why not treat yourself with some? I’m sure at least one of you could find something to do with so many popsicle sticks!

(Warning: If you encounter this treat on your daily commute, simply back away slowly, and contact a trusted member of Night Raven College Staff to dispose of this treat. Do NOT engage. (Night Raven College is not liable for any injuries/death that may result in confrontation of this product.))

Coco’lover!- Ah, did you think this treat was simply coconut! Well, my delightful students, you are wrong! This ice cream is a delicate balance of coconut, and pistachios, a surprisingly friendly combo! … Well, that is as long as you like coconut… And pistachios… (On second thought, this combo wasn’t the best idea now, is it?)

… Ahem! I hear it pairs quite well with baked delights, so do keep that in mind!

Mortho Energy Drink… Sicle- Tell me children, would you like to stunt your growth by drinking unhealthy shots of pure caffeine? Well, I’m here to inform you that is a foolish idea! Why drink them, when you can eat them instead with an ice cream sponsored by Mortho™ Energy Drinks! Whether it’s for a late-night study session, or for an extra kick during finals, Good ol’ Mortho here will help to keep your poor body conscious against its will!

(... Also, please buy these as soon as possible. He’s beginning to miss one of our discontinued flavors, and will melt… (Night Raven College is not liable for injuries/death that may result from consumption of this product. If Mortho™ Energy Drink-Sickle commences Self-Destruction mode, toss it as far as possible, and duck for cover. To avoid such an occurrence from happening, do NOT insult any person with fire-like hair within the vicinity. It WILL hear you, and it WILL be upset.))

Catolate Diamikan- Do you need to take a… (Wait, what was that one site called…? Ah, yes!) MagiCam-worthy photo of yourself and friends? Well, fret no longer students, as this is the treat for you! A picture of you and Catolate’s smile is sure to be a hit! And if it’s not… Well, he’s flavored like white chocolate and oranges, so either way, you’re a winner!

(... Speaking of photos… Trien, why did you not like my “selfie” that I took earlier this afternoon? … Ah, you’re right! This isn’t the time for such trivialities! I shall simply discuss it with you later then!)

Mir-Lot- A treat based on the likeness of our beloved Magical Mirror itself! Doesn’t it look absolutely stunning, in all it’s glory? Ah, even this old bird can’t help but marvel at it’s timeless beauty… This treat is a nice, deep merlot-flavor, (non-alcoholic, of course!) that I’m sure more mature audiences will enjoy…

And even if you don’t… Well, you don’t want to hurt our beloved mirror’s feelings now, do you? You should buy one anyway, just so it knows for sure it’s appreciated~!

Berry Bad Cat- This… “Cute,” little feline’s filled with many surprises, and though most of them are a hassle… This surprise is actually quite pleasant! A bold blackberry taste, sprinkled with small popping candies that seem to light a spark along your taste buds… Why, it’s surprisingly easy to grow attached to it!

(… Wait, what do you mean my tongue has turned black?! Oh heavens, get me a mirror!!! And water!!!)

Ramshackle Special- Um… Well… This ice cream had no specific flavor. It was an amalgamation of every single flavor crafted so we could save funds and resources, and it was quite awful the majority of the time, so we’d lowered the price for 100 Madol, but… Before we even made the official announcement, someone snuck into my office and took every single one… Of course, they were at least kind enough to leave the funds for it all, but…

Oh, who cares about manners?! WHICH ONE OF YOU RELEASED FIREFLIES INTO MY OFFICE?! … Well, if no one will confess to the crime, then everyone will be punished for the crime! … Later, of course!

Now, like before, we have three special options that are just a tad bit above the rest in terms of flavor and appearances, so despite how kindhearted and generous I am… We will have to charge just a bit extra for these three. Surely you all understand~! These next treats are also quite limited, so if you desire to delight in one, make sure you buy them fast! Once they’re gone, they’re gone!!!

(Well… Not completely, but if people are under the illusion that there is no second chance, then they’re be far more likely to make impulsive purchases! Oh ho ho~ Dire, you clever, dapper man, you~ … Wait, did I say that out loud?)

… Anyway! Our first premium snack!

Rhymes Rosetarts- A delightful treat of sweet cherry tarts with cream and… Oh, is that actually a hint of roses I caught?! How interesting! I’d love nothing more than to dig in, yet… For some reason, I feel that even if my manners slip just a tad, that I’d be chastised… Ah, I suppose I will simply have to consume the treat carefully, lest my suspicions are confirmed true… Which they’re not!

(Night Raven College is not responsible for injuries/death resulting from consumption of this product. Make sure to review the rulebook supplied with each purchase before unwrapping this treat. Once it is free from it’s wrapper, it will always have it’s eyes on you…)

Varbucks™ Iced Protein Coffee- Are you fan of coffee? Or perhaps something sweet, but healthy? Well this treat i-”

“OI, DIRE! WHY AM I THE ONLY STAFF WHO’S ICE CREAM WAS AWFUL?!”

“A-ah! Professor Crewel! Well, err… I’ll… Get back to you on that, yes! So why don’t you have an ice cream and calm d-OWN NO, NO, NO!!! GET OFF THE STAGE I’M SORRY CREWEL PLEASE DON’T H-YAHHH!!!”

Apple Farmier- “... Well, I suppose since the Headmaster was forced to step away for “business,” I should wrap up this assembly. The final dessert available for purchase during our school fundraiser will be the... “Apple Farmier?” (... Crowley seems to have a knack for finding such strange names…)

The Apple Farmier is described to have an almost overly-sweet aroma of ripened apples, yet when bitten into, administers a horrific shock from it’s incredibly sour taste. Those who have tried it described an almost numbing sensation on their tongue, and one such person even lost consciousness as a result of it.”

“Meow.”

“(Hm? Quite right Lucious, thank you for the reminder.) If you purchase this treat, do be aware that our esteemed institution does not hold any accountability for any harm that comes upon you. Do consume the product at your own risk… As for the lot of you who’ve decided to fall asleep during the assembly, I shall see you in detention. In case you’re wondering, yes, I see you, and I will remember if you decide to “ditch.”

Now, you are dismissed. Vargas, please make sure the students return to class while I check upon the Headmaster’s condition… (And hopefully this will be the last of these tedious assemblies…)”

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Bonus

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Lionel Kingsbutter- “Have you ever sat down and thought, “Hm, there seems to be something missing in my life… Something… Hard, surprisingly sweet… And yet, something with a mean bite to match it’s bark?” Well, this treat has no bark, but it does have quite a bite! Smooth, delightful cookie butter than just melts upon your tongue, and plentiful chunks of crispy cookies! They’re a bit… Spicy… But strangely... Delicious! (... Water… I need water...! … Thank you, Trien.)

And if that’s not enough, why, just look at it’s adorable little ears, and i-YEOWCH!!! DID IT JUST BITE ME?! IT’S FROZEN CREAM, HOW DID IT DO THAT?! BAD KITTY, BAD KITTY! WHERE’S THE TRASH C-AAAAH IT’S LATCHED ONTO MY CLAWS!!! SOMEBODY, ANYBODY GET IT OFF!!! GYAAAAAAAH!!!”

#Twisted Wonderland #Leona Kingscholar #Sebek Zigvolt #Azul Ashengrotto #Trey Clover #Ortho Shroud #Cater Diamond #Grim Twisted Wonderland #Riddle Rosehearts #Ashton Vargas #Epel Felmier #Fan Art #Digital Art #Riktor's Art

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officialleehadan · 3 years

Text

Sinning Interview

Hello darlings! Today's story was brought to you by Stella! Thank you so much for all your support! Darling, what an interesting Prompt! I had almost forgotten this series!

Prompt: a continuation of Sinners.

Sinners

Seven Sins

House of Demons

+++

Adam did his best to straighten up and act like he was supposed to be there.

Technically, he supposed he was supposed to be there, but he didn’t feel the part.

He did look the part, at least. Thanks to Lust, Pride, and Envy working him over, each with their specific skill sets. Pride, of course had the money to do whatever she wanted. Presently, what she wanted was to make sure Adam landed a job that paid more than he ever dared to dream of. The yearly salary alone was more than he had made in all the rest of his life combined.

The company was one that Pride invested in, that Envy ran, and that Greed designed. It specialized in acquiring other companies and assets, which suited all of the Sins nicely.

They, however, were not in charge of hiring. Yes, they insisted that Adam got the interview, and they would certainly throw a tantrum if he didn’t get the job, but even so. It was up to him to get the job itself.

And this wasn’t a traditional interview.

“Miss Browning,” he said when the woman he was supposed to meet stepped off the elevator. She dressed nearly as well as Pride did, and walked confidently in heels that were so high she was nearly the same height as him. Her jewelry was simple, professional, and designer. Adam never would have known the difference a month ago, but that was before Pride and Envy raided Greed’s stash so they could teach him how to speak the complicated language of Brands. “Thank you for meeting with me today.”

“Please, call me Davina. When three of my best clients call me up to tell me about the rising star they’ve found,” Miss Browning said with a smile. Her candy-pink lipstick was flawless against her light skin, and her eyeliner was absolutely perfect. Her hand-shake was the kind of shake a woman cultivated when she wanted to send a warning to every man she met. She was the best of the best, and she wasn’t about to compromise. Adam could respect that. “I take them seriously. Madame Pride had a great deal to say about your ability to spot intriguing investment opportunities. Tell me more about that.”

Apparently, the interview had already started. Sloth warned him about that, in his own way. Well, okay, it was mostly complaints about how some of the others never took a single moment off, and how everyone they worked with was the same way. Adam was glad he had listened. He did his best to kick his brain in gear. Three years of crippling depression couldn’t be erased by a few months of coaching, and he still wasn’t firing on all gears.

“I’m an every-man,” he said to Davina and hoped she hadn’t noticed the way his hand clenched on his briefcase handle. “That’s how I met Madame Pride originally. We had an interesting discussion about a mutual interest shared by another of her associates.”

“Which one?” Davina asked. She held up a hand to direct him down a long, glass-walled hallway, one wall of which looked out on the grand Manhattan skyline from a staggering height. “I’m familiar with all of Madame Pride’s associates.”

“Sloth. We were talking e-sports. Madame Pride happened to join us and was interested in the potential business prospect.”

Wrath had coached him through hits part. Adam never would have thought that Wrath would be so good at interview prep, but it turned out that there was a lot of confidence required for someone who fought as much as Wrath did. Between hi and Lust, who knew how to catch and hold attention, Adam figured he was doing okay. That the discussion had happened after he moved in with the Sins was a topic he didn’t plan to bring up.

Davina, however, was looking at him with a great deal more speculation. Adam tried not to squirm under the weight of her regard.

“You’re the reason we’ve been buying up interest in game studios,” she said thoughtfully. “We haven’t begun seeing profit from those acquisitions, but they’re certainly promising.”

“I’m just a normal guy, with normal interests,” Adam told her, which was honest, but sounded humble. They entered a grand corner office with an even more impressive view than the hallway. “After that, I started talking with Wrath, and we got to talking about personal fitness and he brought Envy into that discussion, along with Greed.”

Rather than sit at the desk, Davina ushered him over to a small sitting area and took a seat, ankles crossed, everything in her posture screaming the kind of authority that Adam wished he had.

“You have an interesting eye for opportunities,” she said when he was seated, and she had pressed a button on the table that brought in a minion, armed with a full coffee service. “I’m sure you know this interview is largely a formality. I can’t easily turn you down with Madame Pride and Master Greed both requesting you by name.”

“I wanted to do it the honest way,” Adam said, which was also true, and hopefully would make him an ally of this powerful woman. Yes, he was the favorite of the owners, but they couldn’t do everything for him. He wasn’t a good enough person to refuse their endorsement, but he was at least going to tryand nail the interview. Even if it was just a formality. “I know I don’t’ have a lot of experience, but the Sins listen to me, and I think we could get a lot done with a… a more human perspective in the mix.”

Davina cracked the first smile he had seen from her that actually looked halfway real, and leaned forward. It did magnificent things to all of her, which was polished like the weapon it was. Adam felt entirely outclassed, but did his best to stand his ground. That, Gluttony told him, was a big part of getting more than your share of anything you wanted.

“I see why the Big Seven like you,” Davina said, calculating and clever. The words gave Adam hope. Maybe he wasn’t doing as badly as he thought he was. “What other ideas do you have for the future of our little acquisitions firm?”

+++

MASTERLIST

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lokigodofaces · 3 years

Text

thoughts on loki ep 2: the variant (spoilers)

under cut to not disturb your scrolling

Overall I enjoyed so that's good

Uh frick my mind blanked so sorry if things are completely out of order

I don't know, I expected the renaissance fair to be 2012 or 2021 or 2024 (Loki's time, our time, current time in the "sacred timeline"). So I was genuinely surprised when it was in 1985.

Ok, i really like the title card thing. And how the year scrolls around. It's a nice aesthetic touch there.

I wonder why the female Loki variant chooses her locations? Does she have a thing for renaissance fairs, French cathedrals, and Oklahoma?

1985 is when Back to the Future came out. And it's y'know, one of the most popular time travel movies ever. So I think they chose that year as a reference.

Again, not liking that the minutemen only have numbers, not names. It is giving me lots of Clone Wars vibes. If you don't know anything about Clone Wars, the clones are given number identifiers by the Kaminoans. Things like CT-7567. The clones would give themselves names (CT-7567, for example, names himself Rex). A really good sign throughout the series that someone is a sketchy person is if they call the clones by their numbers. The clones don't want to be known as numbers. They are people too, they deserve names, so they come up with all sorts of creative names (Rex, Fives, Cody, Tup, Hevy, Hardcase, Echo, Waxer, Boil, Wolffe, Jesse, Kix, Fox, Hunter, Wrecker, Crosshair, Omega, Tech, Matchstick, etc). The jedi respect this, and the only jedi that i can think of that called clones by their numbers is Krell, who fell to the dark side. the Kaminoans and other sketchy people all call them by their numbers and the clones don't like it. A big focus of the show is on the clone's agency (at the end, they all have brain chips that take away their agency and force them to kill jedi), and how the clones need to be respected. So for me to see in another series that people are only given numbers is bad. What's worse is that the minutemen are fine with this. They don't see it as dehumanizing or belittling. They are brainwashed into being okay with it. Which says a thing or two about the Time Keepers.

did. did the renaissance fair really have Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out for a Hero" for their renaissance themed fight? Is this normal? Was it normal in the '80's? We saw later that the female Loki can do electronic stuff. Did she rig it to play it? For the vibes?

Also the stuff before the song was about fighting for a princess, and in the end she kidnaps C-20.

Okay, btw, I'm just gonna say Lady Loki for a while because no one has explicitly said Sylvie yet, so I'm going to refer to di Martino as Loki until she or another calls her Sylvie. Cool? Cool.

I was thinking the "Holding Out for a Hero" fight would be the roomba fight or something. It is such a good song that has huge potential for this genre. Why did they use it in a lame fight as that one?

When Lady Loki did the spell on C-20, it looked similar to what Wanda and Agatha can do. As in, it had similar visuals.

Loki reading a random magazine he finds while sitting with his feet on the desk bored out of his mind because he has to learn sh*t is a MOOD.

What is Miss Minutes? She can jump around anywhere, and pop into computers. But she can't be just a projection. She took the effort to dodge Loki swatting at her, so that may mean she was corporeal. She also could be something similar to the Kree's Supreme Intelligence?

So, did Mobius give Loki the shirt, tie, and slacks, but really didn't give him the jacket until they had to call him in? What? That makes no sense? Did the TVA not have any jackets with the variant label? Did someone have to custom design a jacket for Loki?

What is up with this show giving me things I wanted to see only in holographic form? First we saw Coulson's death, and now Loki in his Jotun form in a holograph of another variant.

Okay, Loki being someone the TVA has to constantly deal with is very on brand. Loki is a creature of chaos, of course he's going to unknowingly rebel against the sacred timeline.

Also, headcanon that the Jotun Loki we see is king of Jotunheim because that would be epic.

Also, for personal reasons I choose to believe there is a Loki variant that defeated the Avengers and immediately went queer rights.

Loki's reaction to there being many Loki variants. He's seen what his life is supposed to be. I think he is even more upset that the TVA often deals with him, that there are so many things that could have been instead if it weren't for the TVA and the "sacred timeline."

Also, I totally think Mobius was waiting for another Loki to show up to help him defeat Lady Loki. They get them so often, it makes sense.

Loki explaining the difference between illusion projection and duplication was great. And very helpful to me personally understanding lore. Also, Mobius, get your crap together. If you're a Loki expert, figure this stuff out.

Loki calling the TVA out on propaganda, we love that.

The wolf quote is actually very nice, I quite like it.

Okay, the TVA doesn't even bury or cremate or do any sort of ritual for their fallen minutemen, they just reset the timeline. Which to me seems like another way to show how little the TVA actually care for their workers.

There are statues of the Time Keepers in Ravonna's office. The camera pays extra attention to it. Keep reading for more about Time Keepers and cinematography choices.

What. What sort of relationship does Ravonna and Mobius have? What is going on there? I am really confused.

Who is this "analyst on the side?" What is going on there?

Ravonna is MEGA SUS. Along with that, the Time Keepers are mega sus.

She signs R. Slayer. Yeah. Slayer. Not at all subtle, Marvel. Letting us know that she'll do the deed if needed.

Mobius you are sending me mixed signals. What do you want?

Okay, Mobius saying Loki was a "cold, scared boy" and an "ice runt" and stuff was totally a jab at Loki being Jotun.

Mobius saying Loki is insecure because of Lady Loki is...probably true.

With the elevator, the camera stops and focuses on the Time Keepers.

The Creation of the TVA, the beginning of time, the end of time, all classified. That is sus.

Loki almost crying over Ragnarok was good. Let him cry over the destruction of his home.

Loki being the one to discover something the TVA had no idea about after a day is on brand for Loki. And it shows how the TVA really are vulnerable.

Mobius: Really? In front of my salad?

No but the object lesson was well done and actually did help me understand what Loki was talking about.

Casey! Casey drinks grape juice! Imagine how confusing this is for Casey though. Loki is captured, threatens to gut you like a fish (whatever that means), and now he's dressed like an analysist, stealing your juice box. Does Loki get Casey more juice?

Honestly, Loki looking at everything logically and scientifically is fantastic. Adds to the science = magic thing Marvel's got going on, since Loki is a sorcerer.

Loki saying volcanoes are cool is fun. I agree. Volcanoes mean the planet is geologically active, which means we won't die. Also, there is a volcano named Loki on one of Jupiter's moons. I wonder if the creators knew that and put Loki in Pompeii because he is already linked with volcanoes.

Mobius telling Loki to start off small and Loki completely disregarding that felt very personal to me.

Loki being absolutely chaotic and telling everyone they were going to die while speaking perfect Latin was iconic. I want more of that content. Let the man be buckwild.

Again, Loki finding something out after a day that the TVA never knew about is on brand.

"Be free, my horned friends, be free!" I love that way too much.

Mobius being obsessed with jet skis wasn't something I expected, but I'm down for it. Heck, even Loki admitted they were cool.

The discussion on beliefs is going to lead to saying the Time Keepers are bullcrap. Hopefully.

Grapes and nuts are "candy" on Asgard. So, when Loki was eating grapes in Ragnarok, we can interpret that as him eating M&Ms. Second, this might add to something I've seen around here. I've seen things about a book somewhere with Loki saying chocolate fountains are mythical (which is really funny to me). So, I guess Asgard really doesn't have chocolate.

Oh my gosh, so many apocalypses between 2047 and 2051...hopefully none of those happen in real life.

Roxxcart is probably part of Roxxon, something that has been around in Iron Man movies.

Lady Loki got the shovel thing from Roxxcart that she left in Oklahoma! The minutemen said it was from the early third millenia, which is where we are now! 2050 also fits that category!

I saw something about the file saying Class 8 hurricane...there are only 5 classes...which means this is a crazy storm.

Does B-15 want Loki dead? This is a legitimate question, because I think she does. Dead or pruned.

Loki looking around at the storm, I love it. This could be him loving science, or him missing Thor, since Thor creates storms. Also, at this point Loki probably things Thor dies shortly after him in the sacred timeline, so Loki would be particularly sentimental about Thor.

I love Loki drying himself off and not anyone else. And B-15 yelling about his magic. And Loki's motions are so fluid, it's so aesthetically pleasing, I love it.

Dudes, I thought B-15 was going to try to prune Loki when they were alone.

Okay, was Lady Loki bsing about the azalea sale, or does Roxxcart actually do that? I want to know.

Wunmi Mosaku did a really good job as Lady Loki, I loved it.

Loki being annoyed at Lady Loki and saying he understood how Thor felt, does that insinuate Loki can do what Lady Loki was doing?

B-15 and C-20 were both very shaken after being possessed by Lady Loki. I wonder how that felt for them? We've had different explanations of mind control/brainwashing/similar from Clint, Bucky, Daisy, Mack, Fitz, and Monica in the MCU (including AoS). I wonder what is specific to Lady Loki's possession.

C-20 kept going on about something being real. What was that about?

C-20 revealed the location of the Time Keepers to Lady Loki!

Lady Loki not wanting to be called Loki could be a sign she is Sylvie.

There's something weird where Loki's voice echoed around while the camera focused on Lady Loki. Maybe she's telepathic?

Someone needs to keep a tracker on people telling Loki this isn't his story in a show literally about him.

But, that does add to themes for his life, and how everything was always about someone else in his life. He was always a supporting character for Thor, for Odin, for Thanos. Now, even in his own story, everyone insists he doesn't matter.

I was wondering what the reset charges would be used for. I wasn't expecting a massive bombing of the sacred timeline! Wow! That was unexpected and I loved it!

Okay, this isn't from me, this is from New Rockstars. But to list all the places mentioned on chronomonitors, either bombed or not: Knowhere, Barcelona, Niflheim, Dartford, Phong Nha, Lisbon, Vormir, Thorton, Cookeville, Asgard, Rome, Sakaar, Barichara, Porvoo, Ego, Titan, New York City, Tokyo, Hala, Kingsport, Xandar, Beijing, Madrid, Portland, Jotunheim. Bolded are other planets. Those are almost all the planets visited in the MCU. So fun easter eggs there!

I like Lady Loki's aesthetic. The fingerless gloves, the cloak, I love it. And YES SHE ISN'T SEXUALIZED. So many genderbent characters are excuses to sexualize women. But Lady Loki is just as covered as the male Lokis.

Lady Loki just...left the time door open for Loki to follow...for a really long time...I'm worried he's running into a trap.

What is Loki going to do now?

Theory time y'alls: Lady Loki bombed the sacred timeline to flush the minutemen out of the TVA, leaving it defenseless. And she's gonna go after the Time Keepers themselves. We know she gets into the TVA from trailer footage, and that's what I think we're gonna see next episode. I think she (like the Loki we are following) is upset over the lack of free will, and she plans to change that. That's why she wasn't interested in helping Loki "take over" the TVA, because she doesn't want to become the leader of a new TVA, she wants it destroyed.

Alright, back to the Time Keepers stuff. They keep focusing on the middle Time Keeper. Even in the end credits they have a weird cut to focus directly on his face. I'm not 100% on this, but I like this theory. That face is similar to Jonathan Major's, the actor confirmed to be Kang the Conqueror in Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. Kang is a well known time travelling villain in Marvel. Maybe he is Kang, and is using variant versions of himself (that's a Kang thing in the comics) to mess with the timeline, and no one expects that from him. Also, Renslayer was his S/O for a bit in the comics, and they keep framing her in front of that one Time Keeper's face. I feel like this would be a good way to set up Quantumania and to show how sus the Time Keepers are.

Also, Loki was absolutely adorable the entire episode. And he got to sleep! Yay for him!

Again, I enjoyed, and can't wait for next week!

#loki (2021)#loki (2021) spoilers #loki (2021) review #loki laufeyson #tva loki #dimartino loki #sylvie lushton #mobius m mobius #ravonna renslayer #hunter b 15 #hunter c 20 #miss minutes #time keepers #aaaaaaaa im excited for the next episode

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fallinnflower · 4 years

Text

worth it

hoshi x reader (university!au, strangers to lovers, fluff)

The first time you met Soonyoung was during the co-curricular fair during your first year of college. Soonyoung sat at a fold out table in the quad with three of his friends, music playing from a Bluetooth speaker and a big poster taped to the front of the table which simply read ‘DANCE CLUB,’ surrounded by hand-drawn emoticons. You thought it was a cute booth, and you thought he was a cute boy, but you nearly jumped out of your skin when he called out to get your attention.

You weren’t sure what clubs you were going to join, but you didn’t think you’d make for a good dancer — you’d only ever danced by yourself in your room, and one time at a school dance. But there was Soonyoung, calling out at ‘the girl in the blue cap,’ which you suddenly realized was you, imploring you to join. You attempted to conceal yourself in your jacket as you shook your head, mumbling an apology and waving as you wove your way deeper into the crowd, cheeks blazing.

You didn’t look back.

The next time you interacted with Soonyoung (beyond him smiling at you when you crossed paths, which you figured he did to everyone because he was just that friendly) was in a marketing class the two of you had together. You didn’t sit anywhere near Soonyoung, and for the first quarter of the semester nothing of consequence happened between you two.

Then there was the midterm assignment. Randomized partners, open-ended topic, all culminating in a twenty-five minute presentation given by the both of you.

You hated the waiting most of all. Sitting, listening to your professor call out what seemed to be everyone else’s name but your own, biting down on the inside of your cheek the longer you had to wait.

“Soonyoung and Y/N.” Your head snaps up, and suddenly Soonyoung is waving excitedly at you, motioning to the seat beside him with a big grin. With your heart beating a mile a minute you pack up your things and slip down the row to sit beside Soonyoung.

“Hi!” He greets. You manage a quiet reply, not sure why you feel so bashful in his bright presence. “Do you have any ideas for the project?”

“Um, well...” You pause, flipping a few pages back in your notebook. “We could always talk about social media’s impact on marketing… I know it’s simple, but maybe we could pick a specific platform and get some data about how marketing has developed there. Maybe Instagram?” You chance a look at Soonyoung out of the corner of your eye to find him still beaming at you, peering down into your notebook. His face is closer to yours than you expected, and his cheeks are bunched up in such an endearing way that you just want to pinch them. And just like that, as if you weren’t blushing enough as it is, you feel your cheeks heat up tenfold.

Suddenly, everyone starts packing up, and you close your notebook in a hurried manner,

“So, um, I’m free every afternoon—”

“How about tomorrow then? At 7 in the library?” You nod, caught off guard at how enthusiastic Soonyoung seems to be about this project. He’s never been active in class, and, to be honest, you were expecting him to drag his feet a bit more.

It’s 7:15, and you can’t keep yourself from biting at your lip, a mix of agitated and concerned that keeps you bouncing your knee as the minutes tick by. You’re close to just sending Soonyoung an email and ditching, but suddenly you catch sight of him jogging frantically between the shelves of books. You stand and wave to catch his attention, and he grins when he notices you, brushing his hair back from his face.

Upon closer inspection, you realize that his hair is damp, sticking up in a multitude of different directions.

“Hi, sorry,” he pants, somehow still looking chipper. “I let dance practice run late and I didn’t wanna come here all sweaty. But, I brought snacks to make up for it!” He drops a bag of gummy bears on the table between the two of you, eyes sparkling. You sink back into your seat, averting your gaze as a sense of guilt washes over you.

“The library has a no food policy,” you mumble, and all it takes is a glance to see that Soonyoung’s smile has dropped a bit.

“Oh.” There’s a pause, and all you can hear is the rhythmic clicking of other students' keyboards, until suddenly there’s a crinkling sound and the bag is once again in your vision.

“That’s fine, you just take them then! As an apology for me being late.”

When you look up, considering denying his offering, you can’t help but pause. His smile is as gummy as the candy he’s offering, his cheeks looking just as squishy and his eyes glittering with anticipation. You feel your heart skip a beat as you accept, slipping the bag into your backpack.

“Thanks, Soonyoung,” you whisper, and he laughs.

“You can call me Hoshi, if you want. All my friends do.” This, too, gives you pause, but you shake it off and return his smile — albeit shyly.

“Okay, Hoshi.” You turn back to your laptop, missing the way his ears turn red, and pull up the Google Doc and Slideshow you had made for the project.

“I went ahead and shared the project materials with you, did you get them?”

It’s then that you realize Hoshi isn’t the best with technology. He looks a little bit like a confused grandfather as he leans in towards his screen, eyebrows furrowed and mouth slightly ajar.

“Everything okay?” You ask, and he lets out a little whine.

“It won’t let me type anything.” You tilt your head, equally confused. You had given him editing access, hadn’t you?

“Let me see.” Hoshi not only turns his laptop to you, but moves to the seat beside you to see what you do. You let out a little laugh as soon as you realize what it is.

“Ah, you weren’t in editing mode.” You switch his system over, and Hoshi leans back in his seat with an embarrassed pout on his lips. To put it mildly, it’s adorable, and you’re not sure how you’re going to deal with looks like that if he’s always this bad with his laptop.

Despite that little obstacle, Hoshi is relatively prepared. He’d found a couple of sources that he had to dig around in his bookmarks to get to again, and he seemed genuinely interested in working hard. The two of you laid out the basics of your project, throwing little notes into the doc and talking through your points.

“I can make some infographics for the project,” you offer. “I can probably have them ready by this weekend.”

“Should we meet up on Sunday then?” He asks. “We can go to a coffee shop! My treat!”

“Oh, no, you don’t have to—”

“I want to,” he interrupts, dark eyes sincere as one of his hands comes to rest reassuringly over your own. “You’ve been really helpful, and I’m not very good with technology so you’re going to end up doing a lot more than you should have to, so I want to make it up to you.”

Well, you don’t know how you’re supposed to say no to that when he’s smiling so cutely at you and his hand is on yours — so you don’t. You just nod and agree, before you both pack up your things. Hoshi carries your bag for you until the two of you part ways at the quad, him heading down to the house he rents with a few of his friends and you back to the dorms.

Later that night, as you’re checking your emails one last time before bed, you’re surprised to find a notification that Hoshi had made a relatively recent change to your Doc. You click to open it and can’t help but giggle at what you find.

I forgot to give you my number at the library!! (***)-***-***!!! ヽ(´▽`)/

You can’t help but think the emoticon looks just a little bit like him, and you fall asleep with a smile still lingering on your face. Kwon Soonyoung, you think, what a guy.

Hoshi texts you throughout the week — at first, just to ask questions about various little tech issues and what you think of the sources he’s found; you simply laugh when he asks you what font you like for the slideshow, but your best friend (who’s peeking over your shoulder) has a slightly different reaction.

“Oh my god,” she says. “He’s just coming up with random shit now!”

“Huh?”

“He’s just finding reasons to text you,” she continues, exasperated. “Like, fonts, seriously? He just wants to talk to you!” You shake your head, texting Hoshi that you don’t have a preference.

“No, he’s just bad with computers, that’s all. Besides, we barely know each other.” Your friend huffs.

“You’re oblivious.”

But as time goes by, you can’t really deny that he seems to be texting you about almost nothing. But you also can’t deny that you’re enjoying talking to him, with his excessive emoticons and use of exclamation points. Even when he’s distracting you from class, his messages leave a smile on your face.

And Hoshi is the King of Distractions. In fact, the next time you have class together, Hoshi repeatedly catches your eyes just to point at his phone to get you to check yours. You wonder how he’s been doing so well in class if he’s always like this, and so you mime back that he should take notes.

He pouts. It’s unfairly cute. He points at the phone again and you finally give in, rolling your eyes before tapping the screen.

You give him the most withering look of disbelief you can manage, and he only beams back at you like it’s the best thing he’s ever done in his life. You roll your eyes, but as you turn away you happen to glance at your phone again just in time to see his message before your screen fades to black.

Dork, you type back with a smile on your face. He’s just too cute to ignore. When you happen to glance up from your phone again, Hoshi is pouting more prominently than you’ve ever seen before. You try not to think it’s cute, try to keep from smiling, but you just can’t help it. It seems you just can’t help anything when it comes to him, at this rate.

Sunday comes and you’re less prepared than you’d like to admit. After sleeping through your alarm, you’d barely managed to remember to grab your laptop and charger to show Hoshi the infographics you were meeting to talk about before running out the door with your moisturizer barely slapped on. To say you were self-conscious entering the cafe, slightly winded and with stray hairs falling into your face from where you had it pulled back, would be an understatement.

You’re quick to find Hoshi, who is staring at you with his lips slightly parted, expression unreadable. The apologies burst from your mouth like a flood, barely pausing for a breath as you explain your morning situation.

“But don’t worry,” you say, plopping down onto the seat and smiling brightly at him as your laptop boots up. “The infographics are done!” Hoshi stares at you for a moment, that same expression from before still on his face before he shakes his head slightly and replaces it with a familiar smile.

“I’m sure they’re awesome,” he says, pushing his chair back. “Want anything? My treat.” It takes you a moment to decide on a pastry to go with your coffee, but his smile never once fades — he doesn’t seem even the slightest bit impatient, even as he goes to stand in line. At some point, he turns his head to try and catch your eye, and when he does he scrunches up his nose and smiles; you giggle and do your best to mimic his expression, and when you do he’s quick to turn away, but not before you see his cheeks turning pink. You wonder if he’s feeling alright.

He returns a moment later with both your coffees and two chocolate croissants on a plate. You push your laptop so he can see it and begin operating the mouse with one hand, taking your croissant in the other.

As is your usual tendency, you fall so far into explaining your work that you forget anything else — which is why you’re shocked to see Hoshi staring so intently at you and not the screen when you finally finish your spiel with a hopeful, “So?” He blinks rapidly, turning a little red again, before nodding enthusiastically at you.

“They look great!” He chirps, then takes a long drink of his coffee. You sigh in relief and do the same, turning your laptop back to yourself.

“Um, Y/N?” You hear him ask, and you lift your gaze from your screen.

“Hm?” Hoshi looks very determined, and although you don’t understand why, you realize it’s a very good look on him, one that leaves you feeling flustered.

“You have some chocolate on your face.” You immediately feel yourself turn red, and begin looking to see where the napkins are.

“Where?”

You feel a light touch on your chin, and Hoshi is suddenly leaning across the table towards you. His eyes are focused intently on your lips and it only makes you more self-conscious; your breath stalls in your chest.

“There,” he intones, his voice low as his thumb gently glides along the corner of your mouth. His gaze flicks up to meet yours, and you feel your heart skip a beat as a smile spreads across his face, “Perfect.”

Maybe his touch lingers, or maybe you’re just imagining things, but either way Hoshi sits back in his seat and goes back to munching on his croissant with no more than a light laugh, leaving you light-headed. You duck your head slightly, staring at your keyboard as you feel your face continue to burn, and wonder if you might still be asleep and dreaming.

If you are, you consider, you don’t really want to wake up.

Your best friend hits you with a pillow when you tell her about your café meeting with Hoshi.

“Hey!” You snap, swatting the pillow away from your face. “What was that for?” Your friend lets out a long-suffering groan and falls dramatically back onto your bed.

“I’ve failed you!” She wails, clutching the pillow to her chest. “A hot boy flirts with you and you don’t even notice!”

“I don’t know,” you say, plucking at a loose thread on your blanket. “Maybe it was nothing. It’s Hoshi, be realistic.” At the sudden quietness of your tone your friend lifts her head and fixes you with a glare.

“What exactly are you trying to say, Y/N?” You shift awkwardly beneath her gaze.

“Just… just that Hoshi is kinda out of my league, okay?” You’re not usually the type to think about leagues, but Hoshi has always seemed sort of untouchable to you, a polar opposite. He shines as bright as his nickname would imply and you tend to prefer not being noticed because it makes you anxious. The thought of Hoshi liking you feels a bit like Aphrodite liking Hephaestus, and you just can’t shake that little cloud of self-consciousness away.

“Y/N,” your friend says sternly, sitting up and forcing you to meet her eyes. “There is no reason for Kwon Soonyoung not to like you, and there is no reason you should reject him if you like him, too.” You press your lips into a thin line, frustrated that she’s making sense. Sometimes you really just want to be irrational and take the risk.

And you have a feeling that having your heart broken by Kwon Soonyoung is one hell of a risk to run.

The project goes much more smoothly than you previously expected, especially considering Hoshi’s schedule is as crazy as it is. You know that his club has an event coming up, so you try your best to keep the workload light on his end — not because you think he can’t handle it, but because he definitely seems to be pushing himself to the limit. His normally bright eyes seem duller when you catch him off guard, and the bags under his eyes are significantly heavier than before. Luckily, you’re both almost done with the whole thing after that long session in the cafe.

That doesn’t stop Hoshi from asking you about it after class one day. You barely notice him bounding up to you until he taps you on your shoulder, his face lit up in that familiar grin.

“Hey,” he chirps. “When should we meet to finish the project?” You can’t help but smile at him, and you lightly wave it off.

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I can finish it up.” Suddenly, Hoshi stops in his tracks, gently pulling at your sleeve so that you do the same. His face is now set in a pout, which is undeniably cute but you swear you won’t fall for it this time.

“That’s not very fair,” he grumbles. You avert your gaze, nervously playing with some of your hair,

“Well, I mean, it’s just that you’re so busy—”

“And you aren’t?” He interrupts, and you look up at him.

“I don’t run a club with a showcase coming up,” you argue, and Hoshi huffs, entirely unconvinced. After a moment, however, his expression suddenly shifts to a smile.

“How about this,” he begins. “You come to the showcase, and then afterwards we can finish the project together!”

“Won’t you be tired?” He shakes his head immediately, the sparkle back in his eyes.

“I’d never be too tired for you.”

You nod without even thinking, and Hoshi is excitedly bounding off before you can even consider what his words might mean.

After telling your roommate about Hoshi’s ‘compromise,’ she screams at you for a few minutes about how oblivious you are before telling you she’s going to pick out your outfit for the showcase whether you want her to or not. By the time the showcase has actually rolled around, you realize you actually do want her to figure out your outfit because suddenly you feel like you have nothing to wear.

However, she dresses you pretty simply. She shoves you into a cold shoulder style sweater you rarely ever wear and what she knows are your favorite jeans. She points to various shades of eyeshadow and has you apply it and your lip tint yourself, and as you stand in front of the mirror looking basically the same as always, you can’t help but look at her in confusion.

“Are you sure about this?” You ask, and she playfully shoves your shoulder.

“He already likes you, idiot. How you dress doesn’t really matter, I just knew you were gonna overthink it so I chose for you.” You stick your tongue out at her, annoyed at how well she knows you but grateful, nonetheless, that she’s helped you out so much. She even agrees to go to the showcase with you for moral support, since she knows you aren’t really into crowds.

The downside is that she isn’t above elbowing her way through the crowd to make sure you’re directly in front of the stage, where you and Hoshi will have a very clear view of one another. She stands beside you, squished so close that your arms brush together, and as the stage goes dark and the crowd falls silent you find yourself grabbing at her hand out of nervousness. She laughs at your antics but gives your fingers a reassuring squeeze.

A spotlight falls upon the stage, where Hoshi and the other three boys in his unit are lying on the floor in a pile, somehow still managing to look elegant. You bite down hard onto your lip the moment the music starts, and even though Hoshi isn’t the first to move you can’t seem to take your eyes off of him. This is Hoshi, you realize, so much fiercer than the tired, goofy boy you see in class. Someone has done his makeup, the eyeshadow smoked out into a dramatic wing that contrasts his pristine white clothing.

And then suddenly you realize they’re singing. All four of them, and you swear Soonyoung’s gaze catches yours right as he begins the first chorus and you’re ready to die, you are, holy shit—

Your mind falls completely blank from then on, and you only come to again when the lights fall and the crowd erupts into applause. Your best friend yanks her hand out of your grasp to clap along with them, and you do so as well, blinking rapidly to clear your mind. She gives you a teasing look and you don’t bother to sass her; you don’t have the brain power to say anything at all.

A few more members of the dance club perform, but Hoshi doesn’t come on stage again until the fourth song. This time, he and the three other boys are dressed in all black, and you realize with sudden and extreme force that Soonyoung’s shirt is mesh. You think of all the times you’ve seen him in baggy sweaters and t-shirts, looking comfortable and cozy and overall like a great cuddler — you hadn’t ever considered he would have abs, even though you probably should have given his dancing regimen. You can feel your best friend’s elbow nudging your side, but you’re too laser-focused on Soonyoung to give her even a sliver of your attention.

You don’t think you’ve ever been mad that a person looks sexy before. First time for everything.

When the performance ends, you’re shocked to find Hoshi’s gaze locked with yours. A shiver runs down your spine at the intensity of his gaze, and although you know you’re blushing you can’t bring yourself to look away until the lights fall once more, plunging you into darkness. You can hardly hear the applause over the thundering of your heart in your ears, and as people begin gathering their belongings and moving to the back of the auditorium space, your best friend takes hold of your arm excitedly.

“Okay, we have to go backstage!”

That snaps you out of it.

“What? No!” You shake your head wildly, but your best friend merely continues to smile. “Most of the crew has no clue who we are, we can’t just walk backstage—”

“Well we can’t just leave after all that,” she retorts, smirking devilishly. You cover your cheeks with your hands, hoping to quell the raging blush.

“I hate you,” you grumble, squeezing your eyes shut. “Why can’t we just wait here, or—?”

“Y/N!” Your eyes snap open, and you find that your best friend is now gazing past you, towards the doors you know lead backstage.

“Oh my God,” you breathe, barely audible, but your anxious response goes ignored as your best friend waves to Hoshi excitedly.

“Hey Hoshi! Great job tonight, is Minghao back there still?” She’s standing before he even answers her question, and you’re pretty sure she would’ve walked away regardless of if Minghao was around or not. You curse yourself for forgetting that the two are lab partners. As she walks away, you take a deep, calming breath, and fix a smile to your face. When you turn, Soonyoung is already standing in front of you, dressed in a plain black shirt and sweats with just his familiar smile on his face.

“Hey,” he greets, beaming. You feel your heart skip a beat.

“Hi.” Why does your voice sound so small? “You did great, but I’m sure you know that already.” He laughs, eyes sparkling in excitement.

“I do, but it’s still nice to hear you say it,” he replies, looking extremely pleased as you feel the blush rising high on your cheeks once again. You find yourself rendered speechless, thinking of the intensity of his eyes when they met yours on stage. Thankfully, he’s the first to break the silence, smiling fondly down at you in your seat.

“I was gonna go for bubble tea. Do you wanna come with? My treat.” Looking up into his bright, smiling eyes, you wonder how you could ever say no.

“Sure, let me just text my roommate and let her know.”

The bubble tea place Hoshi takes you to is only a few minutes’ walk from campus, and the majority of that journey is passed in amicable silence. You keep sneaking glances at Hoshi, although each time you do it makes you flustered and you ought to be avoiding that kind of situation. True to his word, when you get to the shop he pays for both of your orders before you can say a thing. As you leave the shop, preferring to walk back towards campus while the weather is nice, you find yourself breaking the silence,

“If you keep treating me like this, I’ll never be able to repay you.” You look up at him with a pout, but he just responds with his usual good humor, gently nudging you with his elbow.

“Who said anything about repaying me?” He asks. “You deserve to be treated to things, anyways.” You let out a sigh as he sips on his drink, running a hand through your hair.

“But I feel bad. I’ve hardly done anything for you since we met.” Hoshi hums, glancing at you thoughtfully for a moment before replying.

“You could repay me by going on a date with me,” he says, so casually that you nearly choke on a tapioca pearl. Thankfully, you manage to wash it down with a sip of tea, though looking into Soonyoung’s serious, star-filled gaze makes you feel just as breathless as any coughing fit would have.

“I—” He waits patiently on your response, standing before you on the sidewalk, the gentle breeze ruffling his hair. “Wouldn’t you still be paying, then?”

For a moment, in the silence that falls after your response, you worry that you’ve ruined it all. And then, true to his nature, he breaks into laughter, running a hand through his hair. As his face tilts slightly towards the streetlight, you realize he’s blushing — just as nervous as you are — and can’t help but smile.

“Ah, that’s a good point,” he says, sighing. He fixes you with a playful grin, “But maybe I should just keep you in debt to me.” You laugh and playfully prod his shoulder, stepping closer to him.

“Or,” you reply, slowly looking up to meet his gaze, hoping your confidence holds. “Maybe, once we ace this project, I could take you on a date.” Somehow, his eyes seem to sparkle even brighter once he hears your response, and the smile that splits across his face is blinding.

“Deal,” he says, softly, gaze falling to your lips.

As you find the burst of confidence to close the gap between the two of you, you find yourself wondering if you’ll be able to wait until the project is finished to treat Soonyoung to that date. When he smiles against your lips, wrapping his arms around your waist and inadvertently pressing his cup of tea into your side, causing you to shiver and melt further into his embrace, you realize that the answer to that is no.

And you couldn’t be happier.

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