#I got t boy swag out the ass now

[are-we-really-doing-this]

If anyone was wondering how my hair adventures went, just know I look like this mf now:

#I’m not even mad #I got t boy swag out the ass now #also this is just how I dress #the resemblance is genuinely shocking

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

Slightly boring question, I know, but what LGBTQ+ headcanons do you have for the mercs (if any) , and for any of those, how do you think they realized?

LGBTQ+ Headcanons For The TF2 Mercs

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oh no anon this isn't boring at all, I love talking about queer shit, and TF2 so this is super fun for me!

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Uhhhh, light homophobia and transphobia??? I tried not to add any but a little bit of it!

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Demo is trans and gay. He was like twenty when he realized he was trans, like this dude was sitting in his home, and it just randomly clicked? Immediately thinks,

"Oh, that explains a lot." He had absolutely no clue what to do with that information, but he eventually figured out how to be comfortable in his own skin. As for him being gay, it was probably just the natural progression of things. He liked men before, and he liked men after. This man was so scared to tell his mom that she literally didn't care, she loves her son.

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Engie is pan and trans. Engie just always knew, like felt it in his bones knew. One of those kids who the moment they could talk just goes, "Oh yeah, I'm a boy now." His parents would just tell him he was a tomboy and that he'd grow out of it. Wrong! He only became comfortable with his identity when he was fifteen, only after years of internalized guilt and transphobia though. Uh, he definitely had to keep it a secret for a lot longer than that. He also just always knew he was pan. He always liked women and men, and he realized he didn't even care if the person he liked was both or neither. He just likes people!

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I think Heavy is bisexual,and like, he didn't even realize it until he met the other mercs. He just ignored the fact that he liked men. After all, every man around him seemed to only like women, so he just focused on women. (Well, not really, lmao) anyway! One night, all the mercs were talking about their escapades, and then some mercs brought up their experiences with men, and he just stared at them and was like,

"You, you can do that?" The team is just like,

"Yeah???"

"Oh."

(I've seen other people headcanon this and I love it and agree so much.)

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Medic is intersex and it just went unnoticed? Lack of proper medical care and a neglectful mother will do that to you. He's glad, though. Growing up, it was confusing for him, especially when he realized that his body was different, but he learned to love himself. He actually learned that he was intersex indirectly. He read some books on anatomy and realized he didn't look like the people in the book and that his body couldn't quite be defined as male or female. Would only be able to put a name to it years later. (I think he'd have Klinefelter syndrome) He's also gay! I think he just always knew, he just never had interest in women, but always chalked it up to being to busy with his work and studies to have time for dating, then he kissed a guy, and oh boy it clicked then. Once, he didn't have to worry as much about being harmed for his identity he became the silly guy you see now.

(His ass does not have a wife! He would call his husband his wife.)

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I want to trans Scout's gender so bad, but alas, it's funnier if he's cis with T-boy swag. BUT, this man is a queer. Bi disaster. He had a stroke when he first joined the other mercs. This man had to work through a lot of shit, all while pretending he isn't working with men who make him question his sexuality on a daily basis. I think at first he tries to convince himself that it's nothing or battles with extreme internalized homophobia and self hatred, and it takes him forever to accept the fact that it isn't weird or wrong to like both men and women. He's still just scared that even though he likes both, he's not good enough for either. (Oops, got angsty my bad.)

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Sniper is queer but just doesn't care too much about exploring his sexuality. He knows he has a preference for men but also has never considered being attracted to other genders, but also doesn't think he'd mind, and over all he just, doesn't know, and it's easier for him to just call himself queer and not have to figure it out. I don't think there was a defining moment, I think one day he just realized he wasn't attracted to just women anymore.

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"You can't just headcanon every shapeshifter as genderfluid!" Uh, yes, I can. So Spy is genderfluid. Spy dress might not be canon, but it's canon in my heart. He has no problem with being masculine one day and feminine the next. I think he realized on a mission one time (not with the other mercs) where he had to present fem for some reason, and he really liked it. He's also bi with a preference for women. He dealt with a lot of internalized homophobia like Scout did (like father like son and all that), but eventually came to terms with it when Scout came out actually. He realized that it probably wasn't that weird, especially when the other mercs chimed in with their sexualities.

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Soldier is pan, but he is also another case of "I want to trans his gender so bad, but it's funnier if he's cis." The comedic value of him not understanding being trans so he's supportive in the weirdest ways. Um, as for him being pan, he just doesn't care. He likes anyone who's a similar personality type to him, gender doesn't matter. It's all the same to him. I feel like it's another case that he always knew, dealt with internalized homophobia, and then the other mercs helped him work through it. (The team is very helpful when it comes to being queer, nothing else, though, lmao)

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Pyro is well, a whole bunch of identities, but I personally rock with, mtf trans agender, pan, and ace. So the mtf and agender part might seem kinda complicated, but I'll do my best to explain! I feel like Pyro was born male, but just always hated they're body and always wanted to have a female body, but then they realized that they wanted to have a feminine body, but no gender, so they did just that. Another case of them liking everyone, they just have a lot of love to give. Being ace, for Pyro, is no sexual attraction at all, just wanting to love a person, wanting romance, not anything more. They realized everything separately, being trans when they were around their teens, basically going through puberty and realizing how awful it felt for them to present as male, being agender years later when someone referred to them neutrally and they really liked it, and being pan when they forst started viewing people romantically, and ace when they got into a relationship.

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Not that it was asked but Miss Pauling is a lesbain btw

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Ah, these queers. UH Medic did everyone's surgeries, in case you we're wondering. He has so many uteruses lying around.

Some short and sweet hcs, uhhh, i have no idea what order im writing anything rn to be completely honest, I'm hoping I'll get through my flufftober asks, then some angst and some other asks but we'll see if I switch this up.

I had such a hard time writing this, I kept getting embarrassed at my writing style and thinking it was the worst thing ever written 😭

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 headcanons #team fortress headcanons #tf2 hcs #tf2 demoman #tf2 engineer #tf2 heavy #tf2 medic #tf2 scout #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #tf2 soldier #tf2 pyro #tf2 miss pauling

[samantha-rae-velcher]

"Happy Birthday, Sweetheart."

Swaggersouls x Fem reader

Requested by: The voices in my head

Warnings: Friends to Lovers! Birthday sex! Smut! Fluff! Swearing! Consumption of alcohol! Drugs (Reader consumption) - only marijuana! This is before Tobi had her transition!

A/n: 18+ MINORS DNI! If you don't like the warnings please don't read! Pls keep my comment section aggression free!

Summary: It's Y/n's birthday, and the misfits wanna take her somewhere nice. But Swagger! He has different plans! Swags is gonna make sure this is a birthday she wont ever forget.

Tag: @goldenstarofthunderclan ❤️ Girl imma get you hooked 🤣🤣

___

Swagger was sitting on his couch smoking a joint when his doorbell rang, he got up and walked over to the door and opened it, the rest of the misfits stood in front of him smiling.

"Hey, Boys." He greeted, slapping hands and bumping fists with all of them.

"Sit down over there." Fitz said, pointing over at Swags couch.

The group went into the living room and kicked back on the sofa and chairs. Mason took a swig of his beer, giving Swags a shit eating grin.

"It's 10 am. You're already drinking?" He asked.

Mason just took another sip.

"As you know." Tobi said. "It's Y/n's birthday. She's turning 29, we wanna bring her somewhere! Take her on a cruise or something."

Swags nodded, taking a hit from his joint.

Fitz looked over at Tobi, then at Mason.

"So...are you coming, Swagger?"

"Yeah, of course. When are we heading over to her place?"

"Right now, get your ass in the car." Tobi said.

___

Y/n smiled when she saw the RV drive up, the group came up to the door and was about to knock when she pulled it opened.

"Hey!" She yelled. "What's up!"

Tobi wrapped his arms around her, picking her up and bringing her into the house. They all gathered in the kitchen, leaving Swagger to close the door.

When he came into the room, he was ment with Y/n's embrace. He smiled and held her close, enjoying the warmth of her body, and the scent of her perfume. Y/n stepped back and admired what he was wearing. He had on black ripped jeans, his ski mask and chainmail, a black t-shirt and white jacket with red stripes from the shoulders to the end of the sleeves.

"Well, don't you look nice." She said.

Matt shoved a camera in her face, separating the two.

"Happy birthday, Cunt!" He yelled.

"Thank you, get that out of my face dick head."

Tobi walked up and tossed his arm over her.

"Pack your bags, we're going on a road trip."

"Where?" Y/n asked.

"You'll see! Go pack your shit!"

Tobi pushed her towards the stairs and shooed her away. Y/n rolled her eyes and smiled, walking up to her room.

Y/n was nearly finished packing when Swagger lightly knocked on her open door, she looked up and the smile that spread over her face just warmed his heart.

"Hey." He said.

"Coming to help me with my bags, good sir?"

"Yeah." Swags chuckled. "We don't have to go if you don't want to, we could just stay here and hang out."

"Me and you?" She asked. "Lemme guess, you wanna get me high?"

Y/n let out a cute giggle as she came closer to him.

"Doesn't have to be me and you. The others could come, just hang out....drink, smoke...have a good time."

Y/n wanted to kiss him so bad, Swags was so close. His eyes were captivating, so warm and caring.

"Swagger....I-"

She was interrupted by Mason and Fitz coming in and laying on her bed.

"What's going on in here!?" Macy asked. "You coming or what!?"

"Why don't we just hang out here? Order some pizza and have a fuckin party." Y/n said.

The guys looked at each other for a minute, then Mason went over to her door and shouted down the stairs.

"Plans have changed, Cunts! Swagger talked Y/n out of it."

"What!?" Tobi yelled back. "Well what the fuck are we gonna do then!?"

"Stay here and fuckin party!"

When Mason was finished screaming, he motioned with his head for her to fallow him downstairs. Y/n went for the door when she felt Swaggers hand slip from her waist, she never even realized he touched her.

___

Y/n sat on the couch next to Swags and Mason, they passed around a blunt and ate a big tray of french fries.

Y/n laid back against Swagger, he threw his arm around her and handed her a bottle of booze.

Mason pointed at the Tv and started screaming at the woman who was being a complete dumbass. Y/n could hear Swaggers heart beat as he brought her closer.

She snuggled her face into his neck, the soft fabric of his ski mask brushing against her nose. After a couple hours of eating and drinking and smoking, the group left yelling and hollering, making damn sure her neighbors couldn't sleep.

All but Swagger left, he stayed and turned off the tv. He cleaned up the livingroom and the kitchen while Y/n slept on the couch. Once the mess was clean, Swagger picked her up bridal style and hauled her ass the upstairs.

He kicked Y/n's door open and set her down in her bed, Swagger went over to her dresser and pulled out the night shirt that was long sleeve, knee length, and hugged her curves.

Swags pulled Y/n's shirt off over her head and removed her pants, her eyes slowly opened and she looked over at him, her gaze fell on the night shirt in his hand.

"Were you gonna change me?" She giggled.

"Well you were passed out, so yeah. Not like you could do it yourself."

Y/n sat up and put her arms straight up over her head, keeping her eyes locked with Swaggers. He took the opportunity to slip her night shirt over her head, pulling his ski mask down and capturing her lips in a passionate kiss when she was done adjusting her clothes.

Swags slid his tongue into her mouth, his taste invading her senses. He got on top of her in bed, pulling her leg up to rest on his hip. Swagger moved down and started sucking on her neck, leaving dark hickeys along her collarbone.

His hand came down to remove her panties, letting his fingers drift through her folds and massage her clit. Y/n's head fell back against the soft mattress as Swagger continued his attack on her neck, finding her sweet spot.

When he finally freed his throbbing cock from his trousers, he pushed in making Y/n cry out. Swagger began hard thrusts, holding her arms down at either side of her head.

The sound of his chainmail clinking went straight to her core, making Y/n clench around him pulling a soft moan from Swagger.

"Fuck." He said. "You're fuckin beautiful. Taking me so well, no protests. Such a good girl."

Y/n's back arched and the feeling of hot liquid hit his cock. He leaned down, pressing the side of his head to hers.

"Can't even last. Do I do this to you huh? Do I make you so fuckin aroused that you cum within the first 10 minutes?" He whispered in her ear, receiving a whine.

Swagger thrusted harder into her, and the sting of his hand landing a slap across her cheek made her eyes darken. The smirk that spread over his face was sinful, and had Y/n whimpering.

"There she is, there's Daddy's bad girl."

He flipped her onto her stomach, snaking his hand around her throat and pulling her up so she was on her knees and her back was against his chest. Swagger thrusted back into her, tightening his grip on her throat so she leaned her head back against his shoulder.

His other hand slid down her front at a torturous pace, his fingers found their way back to her clit and he rubbed fast circles making her cry.

"You like that? Is daddy gonna make you come again?"

"Y-yes, please don't stop." She begged.

Swaggers orgasm was almost at its peak, his legs started shaking and he quickened his abuse on her clit, he had Y/n's back arching again, she cried out his name and released over his cock, pushing him over the edge. Swagger leaned forward, holding her to him and keeping them up with the hand that was pressed into the mattress.

He rested his head against her back and moaned, collapsing and pulling Y/n down with him. She snuggled into his chest, while Swagger wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Happy birthday, Sweetheart."

THE END ❤️

I hope you enjoyed

Reblogs are welcome 🤗

#fyp #foryou #fanfic #foryoupage #x reader #smut #swaggersouls x you #swaggersouls x y/n #swaggersouls x fem reader #swaggersouls x reader #swaggersouls #swaggersouls smut

[goat-guy-tm]

Hey, how's it going? Yeah? Nice to know...anyways...*transes your mystreet characters and runs off*

Terrible bit aside here's a list of MYS characters who i think are trans in some way;

KC- I don't think I have to explain it because it's extremly popular among a lot of people, but KC definitely a hyper-fem trans woman trying to relive her childhood she never got as a young girl.

Laurence- trans man, no one dyes and cuts their hair like that and isn't trans, you can't convince me otherwise.

Emmalyn- trans woman, soft core lady, library ass aesthetic and she rocks the fuck out of it.

Kenmur- trans man, I've said it before, I'll say it again; dude has so much T-Boy swag it's unbearable. It's why they could only have him in one episode, it was too much swag.

Katelyn- demiflux, goes by he/she/they and loves masculine terms, but also uses femanine terms still and likes both, dresses more femanine but physically appears more masculine.

Travis- this is a neopronouns user (/pos). Don't ask what his gender is, even he doesn't know.

Zane- nonbinary he/they, very much a "i don't owe you andrgeny" person when someone tells them they look to masculine to be nonbinary.

Vylad- trans man, definitely had one of those "uwu soft, space trans boy" phases in middle school

Daniel- trans man, I have no reasoning, he just is, because I say so.

Kim- trans girl, definitely one who never corrected people when they misgendered her when she was younger because of her anxiety, but she does now.

Ein- trans man. I can't explain it, he just is (IN MY REWRITE PERCEPTION OF HIM, FUCK CANON EIN HE SUCKS)

Sylvana- nonbinary, didn't really know what it was until Aphmau told her about it and then had a "oh..I..kinda feel like that?" moment. Still uses femanine terms most times (ie. Lady, Ma'am, mother, ect.)

Eric- trans man, he just has t-man energy.

Garte- transman, another one I have no explination for, just hear me out-

Ziana- trans woman, was part of an all trans girls idol group back in highschool.

Derek- trans man, again, I can't explain it, he just is.

Okay, yeah that's about it. Hope ya enjoyed.

#aphmau mystreet #aphmau #aphmau headcanons #ein mystreet #aphmau emmalyn #aphmau katelyn #katelyn the firefist #travis mystreet #kim mystreet #laurence mystreet #zane mystreet #zane ro'meave #travis valkrum #Lauren zvahl #sylvana mystreet #eric mystreet #derek mystreet #aphmau vylad #vylad ro'meave #ziana ro'meave #ziana mystreet #daniel mystreet #kenmur mystreet #aphmau kc #kawaii chan #kc mystreet #trans headcanon #trans hc

[k3boardsmashhhhh]

Top ten black splatband characters because I said so 😈

1. Maya and Kitamura from ink theory. Maya reminds me of the rnb singer mya and she gives off mixed girl vibes like look at dem locs. same with Kitamura she’s def a darkskin girl!! she got her little fro out and she’s just so cute

2. Warabi mid-pair/j bro is so crazy and bro is so real for that. To me warabi is def Japanese, Brazilian, and Trinidadian I love Warabi too much they’re so 2012 scene kid mixed with swag era. Plus bro always serves cunt like what white gender-fluid DJ can do that?? Exactly none of those octohoes.🗣️🗣️🗣️

3. Kuze from Hightide era. Kuze is black man idc. I feel like he would be Guyanese he’s just so pretty n fashionable and fun love him so much (hightide era please come home… please.)

4. Mizole and Tsumabushi from Wet Floor. Both of them got black t-boy swagger that’s unexplainable. Mizole has albinism while this dude neil is brownskin and too prove my point even further they both of them got 4c hair too cmon now we all know they black asf

5.Harmony/Paruko from The chirpy chips/ABXY My boo boo stinkaling HARMONYYYYYY!!!! I love Paruko a lot she’s so sillayyy (her being transfem and a sapphic Autizzy real) they r getting hit with my negrofication beam her ass is lightskin period

6.Murasaki from SQSQ/Front roe. Tbh so many of the sea urchins with black spikes or locs reminds me of textured hair therefore being black as hell to me (such as Spyke and murch) plus just like Paul Murasaki was the og black kid swagger now my boy got older and still kept that swag I see him

7. Paul from SashiMori. If this goofy lil mf had a voice it will forever be Darwin from tawog ion make the rules I’m sorry. Paul is such a cutie patootie but he def gives off that black swaggy kid vibe but also dusty ass ipad kid. Bros turning 15?? In splat3 I believe so I hope I’m right and we can finally see what he looks like after all these years🙏🏽🙏🏽

8. Kikura from C-Side. They are black period… KIKURA IS BLACK!!11 (ily kikura muah)

9.Fin bottom and Blow bottom from Bottom Feeders. Fin respectfully is Afro Scottish while blow is Afro Irish!! They are so real and silly

10. Mizuta Ahato basically Dedf1sh. They made damn near every octoling DJ black so my favorite blasian stud had to be on this list period

If you read allat thank you🫶🏽

#my silly hcs #splatbands #splatoon #i am deranged #so much misspelling but idgaf

[skullstarz]

kirishima headcanons

hes cute asf so these are kirishima having a crush on u headcanons

word count: 785

alternative title: kirishima pls come out of my laptop and be my sharkie boy

first of all

gah DAYUM this man is fine n u KNOW IT 🤰

but what you don't know is that he's ready to give up everything FOR YOU

talk about a simp ass mf ￣ー￣

honestly wants to protect you with all his might but fuck you're so strong and skilled with your quirk and shit

either way, he's proud of you for being so cool

ofc he doesn't show it so softly

"dude!! that was so cool, i can't believe you took him down all by yourself!!! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ"

what he means: i'm really proud of you, but i was worried and i'm glad you're okay!

on GOD HE CALLS YOU PEBBLE THAT IS NO DISCUSSION

it's not really about your size cause i know he's the type to really love all of you, no matter what shape or size you come in

cause no matter what you're tiny in comparison to the MASS AMOUNTS OF LOVE HE HAS FOR YOU

that being said, you should totally call him boulder/rock whenever he calls you pebble

he's your personal hype man

thinks you're pretty mf swag no matter what you wear, cause he's blinded by love

and bro if you're SMART? THE CUTEST MF STUDY SESSIONS

will probably find any excuse to hang out with you/get you to hang out with him

if he's working out he'll push you to work out with him, not because of your weight, he just thinks the face you make when you're putting in effort is pretty adorable

him @ you: so cute (＞人＜;)

and if you dye your hair he will beg you to dye his hair for him

cause its 'so much more easy'

in reality, it's as close he can get to his DREAM

head in between your thighs

your hands running through his hair

you happily helping him do something that is in some ways a bit vulnerable to him, cause ofc, its his beloved hair

in NO way is he thinking sexually about you cause that really wouldn't be manly, would it

but he's for sure in heaven, rip kiri T-T fly high, angel

when it's time to confess to you, it's only definitely cause one of the girls accidentally outed you

probably uraraka LOL

knowing you like him too, he musters up the balls to ask you out, and it goes a lil like this

you were hanging out in your dorm room when kirishima finally decided it was time. dreadfully walking up to your room, he heard you laughing and hanging out with your best friend, [name]. he was || this close to chickening out, all determination draining from his body, but it was too late (cue dun DUN DUNNNN). your friend got a text, and quickly, they shuffled out of the room saying they forgot to turn in an assignment. on the way out they nodded at kirishima, and nervously he walked into your room.

sitting down next to you, he calls you pebble and puts a loose arm around you. "hey boulder" you smiled, not taking your eyes off of whatever you were watching. kirishima thanked the heavens you were distracted, as he was sweating so hard it seemed like he just came out of the shower. he pondered and pondered, before frustratedly huffing. "I can't do this" he said in an upset tone without even realizing he said it out loud, catching your attention. "what's up eiji?" your head tilted a bit, looking up at him as he mentally cursed up a storm.

he realized it was far too late to back out now, and he looked at you slightly panicked. it took him a while, but eventually he got it out. he worried afterwards, as your (head over heels) ass just stared in shock. was he really that worried over this?? isn't it SO OBVIOUS that you would practically DIE for this man?? you break out laughing and kirishima's heart sinks to his ass when you STUPIDLY SAY "are you kidding me???". he goes to get up when you grab him by the shoulder, squeezing out a "kiri-" before holding back another fit of giggles "i like you too! isn't it obvious?"

his heart? no longer in his ass. "REALLY?" "YEAH??? YOU WERE THAT WORRIED??" kirishima was fucking BEAMING dog aoyama's navel laser has NOTHING ON THOSE WHITE ASS CHOMPERS KIRI SHOWS OFF WITH HIS SMILE "i wasn't THAT worried" he said cutely, touching the back of his neck. you two quickly set up a date excitedly, and hung out for the rest of the evening sharing embarrassing moments you both experienced liking each other.

your friend who was kicked out: ٩(๑T^T๑)۶ wtf bitch

a/n: im rusty stfu LMAO

#bnha #mha #kirishima #eijirou #kirishima eijiro #kirishima x reader #headcanons #anime #fanfic #idk bruh #should i do #smaus #again #bnha kirishima #bnha x reader #bnha headcanons #wtv #miyamakes

[elvendara]

Sugar and Spice Day 3

July 14th

Rock concert (Rockstar/Fan)

“Five minutes till curtains up!” the man ran backstage shouting over the din. Saeran expected a knock on his door shortly and sure enough, it came. Without waiting for an answer, the man opened the door to let him know the time limit. Saeran locked eyes with him through the mirror and nodded.

Once the door was again closed, he stared at himself. He’d long ago bleached his hair white to differentiate himself from his twin. Saeyoung worked in the shadows, it wouldn’t do to have a famous brother who looked exactly like him. He also utilized colored lenses. It served two purposes, he didn’t need to wear glasses, in fact, his fans didn’t even know he needed them, and the mint green was a stark contrast to his regular, amber-colored eyes. The pink tips were a more recent addition, but he liked them.

Black eyeliner was expertly applied, years of practice making it almost effortless. He took a sponge and smudged it, giving himself that perfect edgy look. The earrings were already in, silver crosses dangling on each side of his face. Ironic really, considering he didn’t believe in God. The thick black silver studded collar was snuggly around his neck as was the matching cuff around his right wrist. He stood and grabbed his leather jacket, sliding it on and glancing into the full-length mirror he had been given in his dressing room. He was comfortable in this persona. The music had been a way for him to deal with his life. Writing down his anger, confusion, and loneliness was a way to get it out of him. It became bigger than him pretty quickly and he found that hiding behind rock stardom meant he didn’t have to answer any real questions about his true self. It worked. Except it kept him lonely and alone. He’d come to terms with spending the rest of his life that way. It was easier than imagining being real with someone. Who could ever love the real him anyway?

He smirked at his reflection as he laced up his biker boots. Time to bring the house down!

..

He was soaked in sweat but didn’t feel tired. In fact, he felt invigorated, like every time he finished a concert. Feeding off the audience was one of the biggest perks to his career. Someone handed him a towel and he wiped his face with it.

“Great show Saeran!” one of the concert coordinators told him. She held a tablet to her chest and had a handful of fans behind her. Five doe eyed girls and one shy looking boy. Well, now that he looked closer, he was definitely a man, close to his own age. He looked sheepish being with the teenaged groupies. “These are the VIP’s for tonight’s afterparty. Thought I’d introduce you before you change.”

“Nice! Great to meet you, I’m glad we’ll be hanging out tonight. Hope you have a good time. Congrats on winning the backstage passes.” He regurgitated. There wasn’t always an afterparty but there were some special guests, rich, who had paid for the whole thing, so he’d been pressed to oblige them with an appearance. He hated the politics of being famous, but he did love his fans. It was because of them that he could enjoy what he did. If it was up to him, he’d fill the party with fans and not rich entitled groupies. He knew he would spend the night fending off offers to ‘get to know each other better’ all night.

“Oh my GOD! It’s really you!”

“Wow! You’re so HOT!”

“Ahhh, my friends are never gonna believe this!”

The girls were just cookie cutter versions of every other girl he’d seen. He couldn’t blame them; it’s how they sold his image. The man looked embarrassed; he wouldn’t even look him in the eye. He took the chance to check him out. He appeared to be a tad shorter than himself, with blond hair and pink clips holding back his bangs. He wore one of his concert shirts and tight-fitting skinny jeans. His nails were painted alternating pink and black with the black ones having his band’s logo on it, a mint green eye. So he really was a fan. Cute too.

“Uh, well, like the lady said, I have to go get changed for the party, I’ll see you all there. And be sure to grab your swag bags before you leave, don’t let them rip you off there! There’s a CD with a snippet of some of our new songs.” He winked and walked off. There was a lot of oohing and ahhing as he left.

He took a quick shower and dressed in a ripped black T-shirt, black jeans and his biker boots, putting all his accessories back on and reapplying his eyeliner. Taking a deep breath, he turned and walked out to the convention center next to the arena. Of course he wasn’t alone, he had security that surrounded him and paparazzi snapping pics as he made his way to the party. They screamed questions at him that he didn’t answer, he smirked, the signature look the media had come to know him by. Surrounded by so many yet feeling so alone. Making it next door took longer than it should have because of the circus around him, but make it he did.

Once he was inside he was taken by the arm by the coordinator who had introduced him to the fans, he couldn’t remember her name but she seemed nice enough. At least she didn’t flirt with him like other women did and took her job seriously.

“You’re here, great, first you should go say hi to the Han family, they’re the ones footing the bill for this afterparty, then you can have a few minutes with the fans before talking to some reporters…”

“Whoah.” He stopped in his tracks and could swear she left skid marks with her heels she’d been going so fast. “I want more than just a few minutes with those fans, and who are all these people anyway?” He saw his bandmates and some of the roadies, but everyone else was a stranger.

“Nobody you need to worry about, uh, I’ll see what I can do with the schedule.” She seemed frazzled but clicked away on her tablet while heading off again. He assumed he should follow, so he did.

“Mr. Han, I appreciate you taking the time and effort for this function.” Saeran greeted the elderly man.

“Ah, of course of course, anything for my new bride!” he had his arm around a young woman who was clearly less than half his age. The rumors about C&R’s head were obviously true. Standing on his other side was a tall and elegant man who appeared to wish he was anywhere but here. He’d seen that face plastered on magazines of all sorts. The heir apparent, Director of C&R, Jumin Han. They nodded respectfully at each other, Saeran feeling sorry for the man and having to deal with his father’s escapades, but the old man seemed like a descent sort. After a few minutes of his ‘wife’ fawning all over him, making him feel uncomfortable, the coordinator pulled him away. He was thankful to her for saving him.

She escorted him towards a section in the back, past all the dancing and the loud music, that was closed off. The music was still loud but at least he could hear himself think. In the section the fans sat, eating and drinking snacks on the coffee table. They all stood up and rushed him. Well, the girls did, touching him and giggling. Where were their parents? They didn’t look old enough to be out. They sat him down and pressed against him. The blond man sat to the side in a chair and continued to sip his cola and eat the snacks, sneaking a look now and then. He wished he could just be alone with him and have a conversation. At least he wouldn’t try to crawl on his lap like these girls seemed to want to do. Well, maybe he wouldn’t mind if the blond tried that.

After about 30 minutes, which felt like a lifetime, the coordinator gathered up the girls and took them out. It was past midnight and he guessed he had been right about their age, couldn’t have minors out at all hours of the night. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. It felt like they had leached some of his life force out and he was drained.

“I guess that happens all the time to you huh?”

Saeran sat up abruptly, how could he have forgotten about the blond?

“Sorry, I’ll go if you want to be alone.” He stood and Saeran panicked.

“NO!” he stood, banging his knee on the coffee table, sending him on his ass back on the sofa. He grabbed at the knee, eyes scrunched, “Ow ow ow…”

“Let me see.” Suddenly there was a presence by him as the blond sat beside him, his fingers touching his knee. Because of the ripped jeans, it was easy to see his skin in that area. “Doesn’t look so bad, at least you didn’t break the skin. You’ll have a hell of a bruise though.” The blond raised his gaze to Saeran and he finally got to see the full view. Wow, those eyes knocked him out, was that color even natural? Maybe he was wearing amethyst-colored lenses like what he himself wore. His face was kind, a soft pink flush growing across his cheeks and bridge of his nose. It was adorable.

“Ah, that was really stupid of me. But…I’m glad you didn’t leave. We didn’t even get a chance to chat.” Saeran tried to regain his coolness but found he couldn’t seem to be bothered to try and act in front of this man. “Uh, what’s your name?”

“Yoosung. Don’t have to ask yours I guess.” He smiled, lighting up the entire room.

“Yoosung…I like it.”

“Thanks. I…uh…like you. I mean…I…your music…I…I…like your music…and…uh…I”

Saeran laughed and waved off Yoosung’s explanation.

“So you’re a fan huh? And what…a doctor?” he asked, placing his foot on the ground gently, still rubbing his knee.

“Not quite. But I am going to medical school. And yes, a BIG fan!” his eyes got large, as did his smile. “Your songs spoke to me when I was at a really low point. I don’t know, it felt like you knew what I was going through and understood my pain.” The smile faltered as his thoughts went back to those days. Saeran reached out and placed his hand on Yoosung’s, yes, he knew what it was like to be in pain, he could see it in his eyes.

Their eyes met, an understanding passing between them.

#my posts #fic #Yooran #Yoosung Kim #Saeran Choi #mysme #mystic messenger #Sugar and Spice #Day 3 #July 14th #OK #I know these are supposed to be Saeran as Spice #but damn if he isn't the sweetest baby boi! #He just wants to be loved!

[godzillasrighttoe]

Godzilla vs Kong through Incorrect Quotes I made up(SPOILERS AHEAD!!!)

This mostly consists of Kojira incorrect quotes, song lyrics, and out of pocket memes. I hope this makes GvK slanders stop slandering the movie just because Ren Serizawa died which is NOT a valid reason to hate the movie. He was obviously a villain and all villains get defeated somehow so...yeah GvK slanders are definitely gonna come after me for this. Also, keep in mind when I mention Ilene in this, I'm talking about Ilene Andrews and not Ilene Chen.

There's also a lot of swearing in this, so you've been warned.

(Opening scene)

*Kong throws a tree at the sky*

*The tree breaks the sky because it's actually just a hologram*

*Kong screams in anger*

Kong:AHHHHHHHHHH stressedt.

(Godzilla's attack on Pensacola, Florida)

*Fighter Jets attack Godzilla*

Godzilla:I BELONG TO NOBODY!!!HOPE IT DON'T BOTHER YOU!!!YOU CAN MIND YOUR BUISNESS!!!

(The aircraft battle)

*Kong punches Godzilla*

Godzilla:AHHHH!YOU SLAPPED ME YOU MONKEY!!!

(Second underwater battle)

Kong:Why are you attempting to drown me again?!?I obviously can't swim!!!

Godzilla:bruh

Kong: ...

Godzilla:I mean, really, it's same me. It's old me, you know, same shit.

(End of the Aircraft Battle)

Godzilla:Wait did I just win?

Kong:Yes, obviously!!!Now can you get the heck out???I need rest now!!!Got me bummed out!!!

Godzilla:Oh... so I did win...

*Godzilla swims away*

Godzilla:We got a number one victory royale!Yeah Fortnite, we bout to get down!10 kills on the board right now, just wiped out tomato town!

(Mechagodzilla vs Skullcrawler)

*Skullcrawler chases after Madison, Bernie, and Josh*

Skullcrawler:I NEED SOME CHEDDAR!

Madison:𝙄 𝘼 𝙄 𝙉 ' 𝙏 𝘾 𝙃 𝙐 𝘾 𝙆 𝙀 𝘾 𝙃 𝙀 𝙀 𝙎 𝙀 -

*Mechagodzilla picks up Skullcrawler*

Mechagodzilla: Give him to me!ᗩᗴᑌᘜᕼ!~

Everybody else in the room watching: ...

(A Hollow Earth scene)

Maya:Get the artifact!

Ilene:No!You can't just take stuff from the Hollow Earth like this!

Maya:Yes I can!I do what I please and you do what I ask!

*mfs from apex point guns at everyone against Maya*

Ilene:bruh

Kong:HAHAHAHA human die lol

*mfs from apex point a gun at Jia*

*Kong starts making angry chimpanzee noises cause he's an overprotective dad but in this situation it's necessary lol*

(Godzilla's arrival in Hong Kong)

*Godzilla shoots his beam into the Hollow Earth*

*Everything starts falling apart in the Hollow Earth*

Maya:Oh no!Everyone get to the HEAVs!

*Hellhawks start flying towards Kong*

Kong:I d o n ' t k n o w n o n e o f t h e s e h o e s -

(The battle in Hong Kong)

*Kong beating the ground to intimidate Godzilla*

Kong:Bring it on, motherfucker!

Godzilla:HOW ABOUT YOU LIFT YOUR FUCKIN KNUCKLES OFF THE GROUND, BITCH!GODDAMN NEANDERTHAL!!!

Kong:oh he fucked up

Mechagodzilla, from Victoria's Peak:Oop- you know what this means!

*Mechagodzilla starts playing Captain Hook by Megan Thee Stallion at full volume*

Kong:REAL MONKE BOI SHIT!

Godzilla:*ah's in Japanese*

(And if the beat live, you know lil ju made it!)

*Kong and Godzilla start battling it out*

(Towards the end of the battle where Kong starts losing)

Kong:Stop crawling towards me like that!!!

Godzilla:Mitsume au hitomi no ichiban fukai toko~(I feel closest to you when our eyes meet~)

Kong:ok

Godzilla:Watashi dake utsuru hi wo zutto matteru...(But I'm the only one waiting to be reflected in yours...)

Kong:Ok???

(After Godzilla won the battle🤪🤪🤪#TeamGodzilla)

Godzilla in his mind:Man, I can't believe I won that battle! Stupid Monkey!Also, who was playing that music last night?Eh, maybe it's not a big deal.

*Mechagodzilla breaks out of Victoria's Peak*

Mechagodzilla:*robot noises*SSKKSKSSKKSSKDAFAFSFSFAFAFAAXXDADXXXXXCXXXXXXCXCCXHJAHAHAHSHSHSBSBN

Godzilla:I don't know who got you speakin' italics, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗴𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗮 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝗳𝗳 𝗺𝗲

Mechagodzilla:🇸  🇺  🇧  🇯  🇺  🇬  🇦  🇹  🇮  🇴  🇳 

Godzilla:bruh my ears. Wait, are you a...MECHAGODZILLA?!?

Mechagodzilla:Yep!Back by popular demanddd! AHAAA!I'm basically you but WAYYY better.

Godzilla:You can't be better than me!I'm the King of the Monsters!No bitch can COMPAREEEEE, they all think I'm the BEST.

Mechagodzilla:Ew, why are you singing ppcocaine?

Godzilla:𝗜 𝘀𝗮𝗶𝗱 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝘂𝗽.

Mechagodzilla:Nah, I was just asking. I don't play that intimidation bullshit. 𝗜 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗴 𝘂 𝗻 𝘀 𝗵 𝗶 𝘁 𝗳𝗿. Throw a couple bands...

*Mechagodzilla gets his missiles ready and aims them at Godzilla*

Mechagodzilla:𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗴𝗼𝗻 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗲𝗹.

Godzilla:Square up then!

Mechagodzilla:Ight, bet!If you think I'm stealing swag, bitch, come and sue me!

*Mechagodzilla and Godzilla start battling it out and Mechagodzilla is already beating Godzilla's ass lol*

(Resurrection of Kong)

Jia:You have to stop hating on Godzilla!He was never supposed to be your enemy!That robot guy is the enemy!

*Kong looks at Mechagodzilla bullying and beating the shit out of Godzilla*

*Mechagodzilla kicks Godzilla down with a TON of force*

Mechagodzilla:i'M tHe PeTtY qUeEn! I nEeD yOu To HaVe To HaVe A sEaT!

Godzilla:Never!

Mechagodzilla:Fine then, but just know that in about 10 minutes you're gonna be DEAD. 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗮 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻 𝘄𝗶𝗳𝗲.

Godzilla:HEY!!! D-don't disrespect Mothra like that!

*Godzilla starts tearing up*

Mechagodzilla:bruh

Godzilla:H-how would you feel if I made fun of someone you loved who was d-dead?!?

Mechagodzilla:I wouldn't really care, I'm not a baby like you.

Godzilla:Wow!You actin' real fuckin' b-bold for an NPC, buddy.

Mechagodzilla:NPC stands for shut your stupid B I T C H B A B Y ass up.

Godzilla:T-that's the w-wrong fuckin l-letters, dawg...

*Godzilla starts thinking about Mothra more*

Godzilla:I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!

Mechagodzilla:As I expected.

*Godzilla starts crying*

Mechagodzilla:Oh...

Godzilla:WAAAAAHHHHHH!I miss her so much!!!I hate you!!!

Mechagodzilla:bruh

Godzilla:Go away!!You took it too far!!!

Mechagodzilla:I'm not doing shit until you stop crying over that 𝗽 𝘂 𝘀 𝘀 𝘆 𝗮 𝘀 𝘀 moth and fight me like the King of the Monsters.

(Back to Kong, I kinda got carried away with this battle lmao)

Kong in his mind:Damn, I'm really starting to feel bad for Godzilla. I can't blame him for breaking down. This robot guy is taking it too far with his insults. I'm gonna beat his ass!

Kong:Fine, I'll fight him.

(Godzilla and Kong vs Mechagodzilla)

*Mechagodzilla is literally about to kill Godzilla*

Mechagodzilla:SACRIFICE YOURSELF MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Godzilla:N-no...

*Kings walks over to the battle*

Kong:Hey, stinky!

*Mechagodzilla stops for a second*

Mechagodzilla:wtf-

*Godzilla looks at Kong*

Godzilla:Kong?!?

Godzilla in his mind:Why is he saving me?Didn't I beat his ass last night?Jesus Christ, you're so confusing!

Kong:You're taking it too far with those death threats and insults, man.

Mechagodzilla:bruh. You probably haven't even battled in a while. So get out of here, old man!

Kong:Bitch?!?How do you think I got here?I just got beat up by Godzilla last night!

Mechagodzilla:Wow, lmao. That shows that both of you guys are just weak as hell. So now, in about 15 minutes both of you will be DEAD. 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗮 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀.

*Kong shows signs of him being offended by Mechagodzilla's insult but then decides he's done with everyone making fun of his dead parents*

Kong:UGH!I'm sick and tired of everyone making fun of my dead parents!You're really gonna get it now.

*Kong looks at the guy filming the whole battle*

Kong:Cut the cameras.

The filmer:But Kong we-

Kong:𝗱𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗮𝘀𝘀

The filmer:ok...

*The filmer doesn't even do it lol*

(Kong defeats Mechagodzilla)

*Kong slices off Mechagodzilla's limbs one by one*

Mechagodzilla:AHHHHHH!YOU SLAPPED ME YOU MONKEY!!!

*Kong decapitates Mechagodzilla*

Mechagodzilla:bruh

Godzilla:Dude why did you even save me after everything I did to you last night?

Kong:To be honest, I did start to feel really bad for you. That robot guy is a bitch.

Mechagodzilla:bruh

Kong:So I saved you! Because you've got into this heart of mine. And I know it's true cause' darling, I...

Godzilla:?

Kong:dARLIN I'M STARTIN' TO FIIIIIIIIIND!YOU'RE THE ONE I NEED IN MY LIFE!

Godzilla:Maybe I am getting used to you. Ooh!And I'm lovin' every single thing about you!I'm getting used to you!And I could never get used to living withoooout youuuuuuuu!

*Godzilla and Kong hug each other*

Godzilla and Kong: AIN'T NO LIVIN' WITHOUT LOVING YOU!OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!~

#godzilla #kong #mechagodzilla #Skullcrawler #godzilla vs kong #kojira #holy shit #this is so long #couldn't really think of any context between the humans so this is mostly about the kaiju #lol #incorrect godzilla quotes #meme #source:a bunch of memes and songs

[stronghours]

THREE QUEENS OF DOMESTICITY

Ava’s husband Reuben, as Ava informed Domme Lux in the unfinished basement beforehand, had only contributed to the collaring ceremony through draping the gaping drywall with swags of lavender gauze and twinkle lights from Christmas, which blistered the fabric in a damp whimsy Lux hadn’t thought the man capable. But then, Ava said, she had never brought a boy into the household before, and she thought it was only fair to respect Reuben’s distance in the matter. Where he was, she didn’t say. Evey, one of the four usual girls, was already naked but for papery hospitality slippers and trying to tame the blank concrete with a shredded mop. She squeezed the handle to a thin, practical breast each time she lost hope. Her clavicle was tense with little red marks.

Ava sat on her own padded stool applying lotion to her arms as she held court with Lux, Celeste and other colleagues regarding the guest list and particulars. She possessed downy Marilyn Monroe skin and her expression was luminous, while Lux, simultaneously underdressed, clammy, and overheated (it was summer, high noon outside, but Halloweentown below) started to feel the depression sink in. She’d chosen to wear a sleeveless mock turtleneck cinched in via a skintight pencil skirt and knee-high chunk pumps, and it all looked charming enough to her when she texted a picture to Jules. Sexual language arts teacher or Lorelai Gilmore season 1-2? She’d typed. But Jules had been AWOL since Thursday and now Lux had no chaperone and no wisdom. Ava didn’t let it go unremarked.

“It’s June,” she informed, like Lux didn’t know. “So, he’s sucking up to his leather daddies and his drag queens, while the rest of us behave like grown-ups. Correct?”

Guests arrived. Lux decided on strategic retreat and glued her spine to a far swampy corner and gradually became happier to have interpreted the dress code on the conservative side. Ava sent out the invite via her personal newsletter, with the esoteric instruction to dress within the modes of business or pleasure and it became clear of the basement filling nobody had made a collective interpretation. Celeste, shivering underneath her partner’s bomber jacket had prevailed on a frail sundress and the man in front of Lux wore a boxy Uniqlo blazer on top and a polyester jockstrap that read PIG BOY in an eternal ring around the waist. His white ass loomed beneath her line of vision, a sobering reality check to Evey and the other girls kneeling like wraiths up front, their smudged outlines harkening more toward Salo than Ava would ever intend.

Candles were lit. Lux could not get rid of the haunted house excess bringing her mood down, even as Ava, up front on her dais and methodically strapping her bagged up new boy onto his striker frame, vamped in a costumy corset of sectional purple brocade (Jules) opera-length latex mittens (Jules) and slick black shoulder plate and hood of indeterminate material (no doubt made by an enemy of Jules), and if Jules himself would ever show up, as promised, Lux could decide what was worse: Ava mixing materials or mixing designers.

But what was worst above all, she already knew, was that three poems had already been read and Ava was reading one still. She read one stanza per one buckle. Her new boy, before being lowered into his body bag, had read one himself to clarify his submission. His face had been beaky and palling. He had flat blue eyes. She liked him much better totally hidden from view and wondered how a hardline heterosexual like Ava could entertain delicate styles in women but such insipid taste in dudes.

A ray of light split the room like a knife and vanished. A couple people moaned, blinded in one eye. The crowd to Lux’s left grunted and spat, ruffled, then parted. She didn’t notice Jules until he had a cold hand behind her neck. Even with walls on both her sides, he found a blind spot.

He stuck his tongue in her ear, knowing full well she couldn’t shout him down in this scenario. “What’s up sugar,” he said, barely acceptably hushed. “How many poems has it been?”

“And the moonrise over the hill,” Ava recited, yanking a new strap, “Rises in tune – to your mind upon my person – to your body upon my person – to your devotion to my person –”

“It’s been this one for a while,” Lux said. She grabbed him and squashed him to her side. You had to meet Jules nuisance per nuisance when he felt energetic, or he’d trample you to death. When he was overbearing, she preferred him coldhearted, and when he was frosty, she preferred him needy. It was wedding season, and he hadn’t had enough brides to wear him out. “What took you so long?”

“Stopped for food. I’ve been up for uh…thirty-six hours.”

PIG BOY’s head turned back fractionally, then he thought better of looking and faced front.

“Wedding?”

“Shereen Allure made the Miss Continental Elite lineup. She got her hooks in me. She needs an evening gown, an interview moment, talent outfit that’ll stay together through the twenty fucking backflips I know she’ll want to do – baby, sweetie, honey, let me just stone you a fucking leotard, but no, she wants everything to sweep the toes. Insanity.” Jules craned his head around PIG BOY’s shoulder, and, seeing the wild look on his face, she wormed her hand underneath his shirt and pinched his ribs before he could think of speaking above sotto voice.

“Work function,” she warned. “Work function!”

“I wouldn’t go to my boss’s wedding,” Jules said, but he shriveled back into her shoulder obediently. “Gross. What’s she wearing?”

“A couple things of yours.”

“Against medical advice.”

Ava’s boy was buckled in midway up his ribs. They had to last to the neck. Somebody close to the front of the house darted forward to re-light the tea candles extinguished in their little glasses, scattered among Ava’s stilts. Lux thought: Suck-up.

“Cocksucker,” Jules hissed into her neck.

Profound is your sacred neck –

Ava claimed.

And affectionate, my lips, on its nape –

The boy in the bag didn’t judder or wince or squirm or move an inch. If Lux hadn’t been around to watch him step inside it, she would have considered him a mannequin. More guests arrived, fashionably late, and she and Jules alternately jostled the roach hotel between her ankles as they bandied to stay upright. PIG BOY had enough of them and forced his way further into crowd.

“What’s his name, anyway?” Jules asked, of bag-boy.

“Shawn. Mark. Uh…Jake.”

“Fucking John Donne up there has a boner for a goddamn Cody.” Jules wiped his nose on her shoulder. “I can’t breathe down here. Come on, ta-ta.”

The basement door opened into a little cairn staircase and led them blinking into the lawn (a lawn!) a black walnut tree dripping with green baubles (a tree!). Jules assisted her over the porch railing (a porch!) and spanked the dust from the seat of her skirt. They entered the gleaming kitchen, already occupied by Ava and Rueben’s straightest friends who, thin-lipped, met their sangrias with unenthusiasm.

“One thing I will say for Ava,” said a woman wearing a mock turtleneck similar to Lux’s own, “She certainly has…flair.”

A man turned to Jules and asked, helplessly, how long these things lasted. The preliminaries, Jules asked, or the mingling, or the primary ceremony, or the potluck or the afterparty? And while he laid out the etiquette Lux stared at the dustless countertops and the seafoam green cabinets, smooth to the touch, and their silver handles and the tile floor and the padded breakfast nook with its stained glass overhead light and the jazzy track lights situated over the looming kitchen island. Lysol lingered underneath the tawny fumes of a candle labeled CARMEL TRUFFLE SUNDAE and the photo pasted to the candle, she was ashamed to say, made her hungry. A kitchen-aide, which Lux had seen featured in some of Ava’s private photoshoots, gleamed, an untouchable ruby atop a mounted wall cabinet.

Jules’s conversation partner said he had tried to muscle through the ceremony but one of Ava’s slaves (the man himself hedged, politely, and referred to her as Ava’s housemaid) had accidentally brushed him with her nude bosom and he thought, well, better safe than sorry and beat it to safer pastures. “I don’t want to get her in trouble,” he claimed. The sangria was doing nothing to free him from this downward spiral of nakedness.

The mock turtleneck woman held the pitcher out to Lux for a sniff. “It’s virgin,” she pronounced, disgusted.

Jules shifted his backpack into the nook. He removed a pair of purple Easy Spirit pumps, a wad of pantyhose cut off at the thigh, two rolls of duct tape, a greasy paper bag from a Vienna Sausage, a Ziplock of loose bronze eyelets, a lacy bridal bralette and ouvert panty set Lux thought she had permanently lost and finally a half-empty bottle of white rum, which he handed around.

“She and Reuben,” the mock turtleneck woman confided, tit for tat, “Had two cash bars at their wedding.”

“I get it’s a private residence,” the man continued, wide eyed, as he tilted the bottle drop by tiny drop into his cup. “But is the nudity like – mandatory?”

“Don’t be shy,” Jules suggested, happy in his eternal revolving door from Bitch to Hostess. “Really tip that bad boy in there.”

The man turned on Lux, aghast. “Mandatory nudity?”

“Jules,” she said. “Bathroom escort, please.”

The floors were fake grey wood and if they’d been in socks, they would have slipped and slid like newborn colts through a framed gauntlet of Ava and Reuben’s documented civilian life. On the right, a picture of Reuben T-posing against the horizon of the Grand Canyon. On the left, Ava’s Reiki Master III certificate from Sat Nam. A family reunion and matching T-shirts (Ava’s side of the family). A newlywed embrace at the foot of an anonymous waterfall in the Upper Peninsula. She’d seen all this before, well acquainted with the ground floor of Ava’s house, but now she wondered if Zach-Cody-Jake-Shawn, petrified below her feet, was feeling the weight of the roof on his chest like she felt.

Jules, on his own agenda, bypassed the bathroom door which was modestly shut and tugged her toward the staircase.

“Oh shush,” she warned preemptively. “We’re not allowed!” They’d never been upstairs before.

“What? They don’t have a bathroom up there?”

“She’ll know,” Lux said as they tiptoed upward. She imagined their footfalls pounding through the ceiling of the basement and Ava, coolly, directing her eyes toward the ceiling and right up Lux’s skirt.

“If you quit being so aware of her, she wouldn’t be aware of you,” Jules counseled.

Every door upstairs was closed, sanded and paper-smooth and plumbed correctly in their jambs. Her apartment had more in common with Ava’s basement. Melancholy prevented her from noticing Jules bypassing the obvious bathroom door where the shadow of a jailed cat paced and opening another. It was Ava’s and Rueben's bedroom.

“Uh-oh,” Jules said. “What an honest mistake.”

 “Stop, stop, stop,” she begged, dancing backward, but the arrested step of somebody entering the downstairs hallway had her shoving him inside. Jules grabbed her wrist before she could slam the door shut in panic and guided it closed himself, soundlessly.

“Somebody’s coming!” She hissed.

           “Nobody’s coming,” he said. “Not upstairs, at least.”

           Next door, the cat mewed piteously.

           The bedroom, to her surprise, held no accoutrements of Ava’s work at the club, not a stocking on the ground or a corset thrown over the back of a chair. The only suggestion of her taste for grandeur Lux recognized was the four-poster bed and the plum carpet. Even the makeup mirror standing up on the desk was just an electric plastic-framed Conair. The same kind Lux, at 14, had hidden underneath her bed.

Jules touched one of the bedposts. “You think she ever spread-eagles ol’ Rueben on these babies?”

Reuben worked in software. He had a crew cut, no distinguishing features, and upper veneers. When grouped together, he referred to all of Ava’s dommes as you kids. Alone, he called Lux Little Lady and Jules Hey, It’s My Man! Before thumping him with lethal force between the shoulder blades. Lux didn’t want to imagine Ava and Reuben fucking in the four-poster bed. But, on contemplation, she realized it was an impossible task.

She peeked into the master bathroom long enough to confirm Ava installed a whirlpool tub. Jules had already thrown open her closet and was sifting through hangers. He stood rumpled in his flip-flops and she was worried his hands would leave marks.      

“She’ll know someone was snooping.”

“Did she ever notice when you and Celeste moved everything in the dungeon three inches to the left on April Fools?”

Lux sat gingerly on the desk chair. The Conair makeup mirror was still lit, and she checked her hairline, her face, her cleavage (she’d been paranoid for two months that she was shrinking) in the mock turtleneck. In a silver stand-frame was a black-and-white of Ava alone, on her wedding day. She posed in black-and-white before a crumbling brick wall, body positioned forward but facing right, absurdly fresh, and nearly sweet-sixteen in a sweetheart neckline and ruffled cap sleeves.

 Jules loomed like a vulture over her shoulder and judged for himself. “Not what I would have picked for her,” He decided.

But Lux couldn’t look away from the picture. Ava, pre-Entrance, pre-homeowner, pre-stable-of-subs, pre-whirlpool tub. In the sterile silence of the bedroom, she had nothing to cloud her thoughts. “Ava always knew,” she announced. “Look at her expression. She knew all along.”

“Knew what?”

“That it was always going to work out. That she was always going to lock this down.”

“Lock what down?”

Lux tried to set the picture frame exactly where she’d left it but couldn’t quite recall. She pushed Jules away from her, annoyed, and tried a different a different route. “Do you think he really loves her?”            

“Reuben?”      

 “No, Zach – Jake – Shawn – whatshisname. In the basement.”

She felt Jules descend into sulky silence, that his magpie-plan of breaking and entering was not rendering hilarious fruit. She heard the bedsprings creak and two little claps as his sandals hit the floor.

“We make fun of her,” Lux insisted. “But she’s got the husband who loves her, and four full-timers cycling in and out of this beautiful house with a beautiful tree and green grass underneath and now this new kid. He wrote her a poem. She can inspire people to do things like that.”

Jules huffed.

Lux prodded: “Remember her interview in the Reader a few Prides ago? She said she owes it all to her Unapologetic Femininity. A successful woman constantly births this psychic potential in observing bodies.”

 “He wrote a shitty villanelle and climbed into a gimp bag in front of twenty-three perverts, so Ava’ll suffocate him with her titties for three years. That’s psychic potential?”

 “And what about Carmen, and Robin, and Deanna, and Evangeline?”

“What about Analise Petro? She split from the coven pretty fucking publicly.”

“Years ago. And she was immature. You and her were the same age.” At that time, Lux hadn’t made the decision if Jules, then a furious little boy-twink, would be nemesis or pal. She’d half-believed Jules poisoned Analise against Ava on purpose.

Jules, blissfully not thirty, ignored her. “Evey is my age,” he claimed.

“Carmen is thirty-six.” Lux, thirty-two, fretted, twisted her fingers. “Think of the responsibility. It’s all in her hands and she just…molds it.”

“Because of her essential femininity? You’re out of your mind.”

Downstairs, the sliding glass door to the backyard rattled. A few hoots of laughter drifted ghostly through the walls. Then the doors rattled twice, and silence seethed.

           “They change until they stay the same,” Jules said, too self-assured for someone sylphing on a strange bedspread with dirty feet. “And they’ll stay until they go away. Right about when Ava stops making them feel safe.”

“With –?”

“With her social nets and her two-story house and her dual income,” Jules said, sitting upright.  He was all the sudden blank-faced, voice poisonous, and she wondered automatically if his mother had been calling him late in the night. “With her sex gear she commissions from me. With the soothing atmosphere that Carmen interior designs, that Robin cleans, and the fucking homemade meals with the kitchen aide that only Deanna knows how to use. And you want me to think she’s this red-hot all-natural Madonna? You know better.”

Jules was rumpled beyond repair. He wore a tank top she’d gifted for his 27th birthday. It had ITALIAN FILLY printed on the front, and already the letters were starting to peel. He glared. Lux questioned the sincerity of his anger, if he only played it up because he noticed she was too sad to dig up anger herself, anger she felt all the time when she was perfectly alone, but she decided she was too pleased being noticed at all. Maybe in half an hour, she’d be happy enough to preen.

She got up and went to him on the bed and he sat up like a human being so she could clap his face in her hands. But he wasn’t done yet.

“She’s only a woman because she’s surrounded by one hundred sycophants who let her be one,” he sneered, and she felt the little muscles in his jaw. “Sisterhood is powerful!”

She slapped him on the mouth, but only a little bit. “What does that make me?” She asked, houseless, sycophant-less, suspicious her only sisters were biological.

“A woman who doesn’t need her yeast infections to remind her that she’s a woman.” He squirmed in her grip, for her enjoyment only, and his face reddened where it usually got red, close to the ears before it began to band his big nose. It was almost enough to make her forget she was only attracted to him when he was worn down to a nub of exhaustion. Usually, he was belly-up on the floor, with one arm thrown over his eyes, and one of his wrists in his carpal tunnel brace. Something about that brace lit her ass on fire. It made her want to pull down the blinds and eat him alive through his armpit. “Are we going to do something horrible to this bedspread or what?”

“Close your eyes.” He had an insane habit of kissing with his eyes open, and even she, the honorable first girl who’d ever fucked him, hadn’t trained him out of it. “Close your eyes,” he countered, and pulled the zipper on the back of her skirt so he could pull out her turtleneck out of her waist. It jammed. They struggled.

“Suck it in,” he ordered thoughtlessly, and the second she pulled in a deep breath she every inch of him sprang, alert, into a frenzy she couldn’t understand. He caught her around the waist and rolled them both off the bed and into the space between the wall and the gap where the bedclothes hung. She was just about to shriek at him when she heard bare feet pat-pat outside the bedroom door. Jules swept her under the bed (you could stack three bodies on top of each other, under there) and followed her himself just as the door opened.

Lux curled into a little ball. Jules elected to lay flat like a tapeworm.

A woman’s voice cooed. Lux waited. Doom squeezed her heart. But the voice wasn’t Ava’s.

“Sugar-pants, sugar-pants,” the voice caroled sweetly.

Then she saw the bare feet tip-tapping over the carpet, and she clocked the voice as Evangeline’s. She had freed the cat from the bathroom, and presumably held it in her arms, sweet-talking it. Lux dared to roll over to face Jules. He pinched his nose shut against a sneeze.

“I know baby, fluffy-baby,” Evey said. The desk chair scraped when she settled down into it. “You don’t like it in there. I know. I know. No huggle-wuggles for baby in there. You’re claustrophobic. So am I! Ugh!”

Evey gagged. She sobbed wretchedly for five whole minutes (Lux counted). The cat’s purr reached torrential volumes of pleasure. Near the end she reached for Jules’s hand, and they lay, foreheads together, too shy to look each other in the eye as Evey opened a drawer somewhere for tissues and was paralyzed by an attack of hiccups. Lux had to put all her muscle into not echoing her in sympathy.

Evey muttered to herself. “I’m claustrophobic, so I can’t let Her put me in the bag. If I can’t go in the bag, then I don’t get a poem.”

Click. Tap. Click. The drawer shutting. The lights of the makeup mirror turning off.

“I don’t get a poem,” Evey asserted. “I don’t get a poem.” And lower – “I’m not allowed to have a poem. I can’t have a poem. Or a tattoo.”

The cat gurgled.

Evey fled, down the hall, where a door slammed. Then, as if to fix the breach of discipline, the door opened again, and was closed so quietly Lux wasn’t sure it was closed at all.

She and Jules waited, then parted and unearthed themselves on either side of the bed. Jules zipped her skirt and together they patted down the bedspread. He had the faraway look in his eye he usually had when he was thinking about pattern-drafting and Lux replayed in her brain Evey’s Ugh! She wondered if one of her clients had ever gone home, away from her, looked in their bathroom mirror, stuck out their tongue and gone Ugh!

“Come on,” Jules said. The cat, abandoned again, eyed him from the desk chair. “Let’s go down and pay our respects to King Tut.”

And to the cat: “What the fuck are you looking at?”

If he’d acted smug at having his cynicism proven, she might have hit him for real. She’d hit him for real – which in their shared experience, meant purely out of anger – twice. The first time he’d deserved it. The second time he punished her, said she hit like a nelly fag and blocked her phone number for a month. Then he reemerged as swiftly as he’d removed himself, but pointedly, with an uncharacteristically physically proximate boyfriend who lasted exactly three months. She considered that his way of informing her she had been on probation.

“I’m lonely,” she said, because that was the problem.

“I’m literally right here, idiot.”

But when they reached the staircase the noise of the swelling party in the kitchen reached their ears. They decided to go down separately, for the sake of modesty, and Jules went first. He kissed her ear, conciliatory, and she watched the high yoke of his shoulders descend until she was alone again.

Who needed it, she thought, the fifteen-dollar candles and the floors constructed so they do not have to be waxed, the fleet of morose women and the sexless men? Years ago, she’d walked into Jules’s squalid, long-gone basement apartment with a frayed leather harness and been shocked at the sight of the missing Analise Petro sleeping on his futon. Split by her own precarious position in Ava’s club at the time, she’d whipped out her phone, as if to rat them both out then and there. Jules never even looked up from the dress form he was taping.

He asked: What do you give a cunt to convince her a community matter is a private matter?

He clipped off the tape with scissors longer than his hand.

A house!

Lux wanted a house. She wanted to jam her hooks into a hunk with big delts, and huge tits, and chain him up under the bed, somebody the opposite of Jules in every way, and she wanted to bake a successful quiche and she wanted, most of all, her and her sisters’ beloved childhood mutt Chessie, who had leapt off the family pontoon one 4th of July weekend on Indian Lake to his idiot death, to be revived and come trotting up the staircase and into her arms, panting with joy, not because he had been resurrected, but because he loved her best of all.

#the end! no moral #like 4000 words of overworked bitches being grim at parties im trying to ride this wave of suckage out #SAFEWORLD

[zodiacrant]

What are you doing in August?

(Zodiac text RPG game)

*First what will you be doing?*

Sun:-

Aries: Clubbing

Taurus: Having a gathering

Gemini: Sleepover

Cancer: Visiting friends

Leo: Birthday party

Virgo: Taking pictures

Libra: Going out

Scorpio: Cooking

Sagittarius: Family gathering

Capricorn: Watching Netflix

Aquarius: Joining a club

Pisces: Playing video games

*With who?*

9th house:-

Aries: My bitch

Taurus: My BFF

Gemini: Random drunk girl

Cancer: S/O

Leo: Tinder date

Virgo: My parents

Libra: My crush

Scorpio: My pet

Sagittarius: My second personality

Capricorn: My favorite family member

Aquarius: My neighbors

Pisces: A homeless person

*Where is it?*

10th house:-

Aries: An abandoned barn

Taurus: A 5 star resort

Gemini: Around the block

Cancer: Someone’s remodeled basement

Leo: A house party

Virgo: Broadway show

Libra: Your friend’s boyfriend new car

Scorpio: A mansion

Sagittarius: The beach

Capricorn: High-rise penthouse

Aquarius: A junkyard

Pisces: A sketchy club

*Time to get dressed*

Raising:-

Aries: Something bold but simple

Taurus: Something elegant but comfy

Gemini: Something oversized

Cancer: Something Sweet but unique

Leo: Something flashy but not too much

Virgo: Something dressy but practical for any event

Libra: Something trendy but with your own taste

Scorpio: Something Black but with pops of color

Sagittarius: Whatever is available

Capricorn: Jeans and a T-shirts

Aquarius: Something with a statement

Pisces: Pajamas

*Oh no!*

*As you were about to change you trip on your own feet*

Saturn:- What will you grab to balance?

Aries: My dildo

Taurus: My boobs

Gemini: My bag

Cancer: The bed

Leo: The dresser

Virgo: The closet

Libra: The mirror

Scorpio: My junk

Sagittarius: The door knob

Capricorn: The chair

Aquarius: The window

Pisces: My blanket

*Oh no!*

*You ain’t grabbing shit!*

*Now what?!*

Saturn:-

Aries: Push yourself to the back

Taurus: Look at yourself go down in the mirror

Gemini: Curse one last time before making contact with the ground

Cancer: Call for your mom

Leo: Protecting your face

Virgo: Cry on the way down

Libra: Save your phone

Scorpio: Falling with a graceful resting bitch face

Sagittarius: Screaming fuck

Capricorn: Bracing

Aquarius: About to take a shit

Pisces: About to fart

*Your attempts in saving yourself have failed*

*you slam into the floor*

*You’re feeling pain*

*What’s hurting?*

8th house:-

Aries: My face

Taurus: My mouth

Gemini: My eyes

Cancer: My chest

Leo: My stomach

Virgo: My arms

Libra: My ears

Scorpio: My junk

Sagittarius: My legs

Capricorn: My head

Aquarius: My back

Pisces: My feet

*You’re scream in pain*

*There’s a sound behind the door*

*As you wail, you hear someone’s voice*

*Who is it?*

4th house:-

Aries: My sibling

Taurus: My partner

Gemini: My young sibling

Cancer: My mother

Leo: My dad

Virgo: My grandmother

Libra: My friend

Scorpio: My step sister Rebecca ?!!

Sagittarius: My Teacher

Capricorn: My grandfather

Aquarius: My cat

Pisces: My dog

*The door opens*

*What are they doing?*

5th house:-

Aries: Shaking you

Taurus: Giving you CPR

Gemini: Slapping you to wake up

Cancer: Crying that you’re dead

Leo: Pulling on your hair and clothes

Virgo: Calling the police

Libra: Passed out on top of you

Scorpio: Hugging you as they cry

Sagittarius: Shouting so you’ll get up

Capricorn: Pouring water on your face

Aquarius: Screaming for help

Pisces: Pulling you outside for some reason

*You’re clearly awake*

*They’re not paying attention to you*

*You’re getting mad*

*What do you do?*

Mars:-

Aries: Square up on that bitch

Taurus: Kick that bitch in the crotch

Gemini: Slap that bitch

Cancer: Bite that bitch

Leo: Scratch that bitch

Virgo: Pull that bitch’s hair

Libra: Poke that bitch in the eye

Scorpio: Choke that bitch

Sagittarius: Punch that bitch in the stomach

Capricorn: Grab that bitch from the ear

Aquarius: Twist that bitch’s arm

Pisces: Push that bitch

*They got off of you*

*What will you do/say?*

3rd house:-

Aries: Curse that bitch out

Taurus: Scream at that bitch

Gemini: Push that bitch out of the room

Cancer: Scream cry at that bitch

Leo: Continues on beating that bitch’s ass out of the room

Virgo: Lectures that bitch

Libra: Aggressively explains what happened to that bitch

Scorpio: Drags that bitch out by the hair

Sagittarius: Frantically scream as the bitch runs out

Capricorn: *Death glare*

Aquarius: Throwing shit at that bitch

Pisces: stays a couple more minutes on the ground moaning

*Now with that over let’s go*

*A few hours later*

*You see someone checking you out*

*You take breath of courage*

*Or a shot*

*You start walking towards them*

*How do you walk there?*

Venus:-

Aries: with confidence, knowing you’ll get them

Taurus: On the outside you’re confident but on the inside you’re freaking out

Gemini: Taking short walks as you think of what to say

Cancer: Reluctant, you walk towards them, then you walk back, you stop yourself and then you walk back towards them

Leo: You walk with all your might, giving them the impression you’re not going towards them but you’re

Virgo: Walking slowly, as you’re reciting all the moves and things you should and shouldn’t say

Libra: Acting like the best to mask the terror on your face

Scorpio: You’re scared they’ll be like the last one

Sagittarius: Memorizing and thinking of catch lines to impress them

Capricorn: You’re walking feeling guarded, like you’re about to go to war

Aquarius: Unsure of whether it’s worth it or not

Pisces: Thinking about memes to talk about

*You get there*

*You introduce yourself *

*How do you introduce yourself?*

Mercury:-

Aries: You start up the conversation by straight up telling them that they have caught your attention

Taurus: You take time warming up, standing next to them. You wait about what to say and then they catch you off guard by making their first move

Gemini: Out of nervousness, you pull out your phone and act as if you’re doing something to buy yourself some time to think. You then attempt to say hello only to say jello! They laugh it off and ask if you’re speaking Spanish

Cancer: As you got there they turn to look at you and compliment you, as you give a blushing thanks

Leo: You’re making poses next to them as they’re attempting not to look at you, as you get bored and restless and about to scream what’s wrong with them, they give a simple hi

Virgo: You two look over at each other waiting for one to talk, as you’re about to say hello they also say hello, then you both say sorry at the same time and laugh

Libra: You give them your hair-flip, smile and wink technique, and they smirk at you and get a little closer. You start acting like you don’t know what’s up as they come closer to you and say a simple hi

Scorpio: You take a deep breath, get a drink, and walk over there ask them if there’s a problem by mistake, you slam your head on your forehead and as you stumble on your words they tell you it’s okay and introduce themselves

Sagittarius: You try to act cool, like you own the shit and fail miserably. This, however, gives you an advantage, as it happens that this person has a good sense of humor. You introduce yourselves as you laugh.

Capricorn: You try to play hard to get and appear like you’re all that, pretending you don’t see this person. As you notice by the corner of tour eye that they’re getting frustrated, you take a breath and turn around with a “WHAT!” that sounded like a fight more than a flirt. They get pissed off and start to walk away as you apologize and then they chuckle under their breath.

Aquarius: You try to find a subject to talk about, you take your time looking around, so you start a conversation about their drink that ended awkwardly. Then as you wait for them to talk, you say “I am…..” as they’re about to talk.

Pisces: You don’t trip after thinking about walking straight, you get a drink and as you turn you drink flies out of your hand and falls on the floor. As you apologize and try to clean the mess up, you slip and they catch you

*After the puke fest of unrealistic cliche romance meeting scenes*

*It’s a make believe game. Leave me alone*

*You start to get to know this person*

*What are they like?*

7th house:-

Aries: A biker, bad boy/girl vibe, leather and jeans, tattoos and a lot of attitude

Taurus: Charming, elegant, classy, has an old school Hollywood type of vibe, seems opulent

Gemini: Skater, jeans and a hoodie, laid back and easy going, looks like a lot of fun with a good amount of trouble

Cancer: Classic looks but so captivating, beautiful eyes with a matching smile, your notebook fantasy boy/girl

Leo: Dressed for the 10’s, flashy, confident, owns the room, mesmerizing you with those eyes, they got the moves

Virgo: Someone that knows what they want, very intelligent person with an eye for detail and beauty, the muse to your artistic self

Libra: Classic heartthrob that everybody wants, got style and a whole lot of swag, knows what to say to make your head spin, sweet kisses

Scorpio: Seductive, absorbs all the lights in the room, undresses you with your eyes, knows how to show you a an unforgettable night

Sagittarius: A little nerdy, has that next door boy/girl kind of charm, get what they like and love what they get, will show you the world

Capricorn: Strong personality but reserved, put together and clean, angel on the street and a devil in the sheets

Aquarius: Commands and shifts the room’s energy, the wild one, eccentric, marches to the beat of their own drums

Pisces: A big hippie, an artist with an eye that separates things and put them back together, such a weirdo but they’re cute, they see you as their muse

*You two are hitting things off*

*Gasp*

*Someone unexpected came through!*

*Who is it?*

12th house:-

Aries: Your hateful sister-in-law

Taurus: Your ex partner

Gemini: Your ex Best friend

Cancer: Janet Jackson??

Leo: Your rival

Virgo: Your elementary school bully

Libra: Your frenemy

Scorpio: Your enemy

Sagittarius: A date that you ghosted

Capricorn: Your annoying boss

Aquarius: Your sister’s asshole boyfriend

Pisces: Your drug dealer!

*You start to freak out*

*You look for your friend*

*You found them*

* You run out with them losing on the possibility of love*

*1 Hour later*

*You sigh as you go to bed*

*And order some food cause ain’t no relationship feels as good as food*

The end

#zodiacrant #zodiac #text game #text rpg #role play #zodiac text game #zodiac signs #signs #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricor #aquarius #pisce

[gotmetalkinginmysleep]

Hyung, Open the door

Genre: Smut with Yoongi / Tae / Jungkook x Female Reader (Y/N)

Warnings: Swearing, unprotected sex (be safe folks), a LOT of oral sex (female receiving), a slight Sir kink, pet names (if that’s really a warning), creampie (yeah, a big one), ass spanking, a little hair pulling, cum eating (both male and female), multiple orgasms, body marking, aftercare, the tiniest bit of fluff possible.

Summary: You’ve been keeping the boys awake with your moaning for months thanks to Yoongi. Tae and Jungkook want to find out why.

Reference: Dispatch Billboard Awards Picture.

Photo credit: Dispatch Korea but run through a filter to match my page.

Track most listened to while writing: Passionfruit by Drake.

Word count: 5820 words

*thud* *thud* *thud*

Jungkook furiously pounds at the door of Yoongi’s room, yet he doesn’t answer.

“Hyung, open the fucking door”

Hearing the commotion Tae stands in the hallway of the dorm in just his black sweatpants and an open red robe, “What’s going on Gguk-ah?” 

“He’s AT it again,” Jungkook screams with exasperation, “I can’t stand it. It’s keeping me awake.” Jungkook is tired and close to tears. Sharing a wall with Yoongi wasn’t the wisest of choices. He thought having the sleepy one next door wouldn’t cause him any torment. The trouble was you.

*thud* *thud* *thud*

“Yoongi-ssi, you had better open this fucking door”

Tae is watching Jungkook, stood in the hallway of the dorm in just his grey sweatpants which left nothing to the imagination, which is when Tae notices what the problem is. What Jungkook could hear through the walls wasn’t just keeping him awake, it was causing more pressing issues.

*thud* *thud* *thud*

“Gguk-ah, just come share my room. You can sleep there,” Tae says trying to pull Jungkook away.

“What the FUCK do you want?” Yoongi swung open the door, standing nude and proud. Very proud. 

“Dude, put it away!” Tae says covering his eyes from Yoongi’s bare and erect cock. If this tactic was supposed to scare his younger brothers away, it worked with Tae but not Jungkook.

“Hyung. What the fuck are you doing?” Jungkook pleads. 

“Umm, What do you think?!” standing with his swag expression.  

“Hyung. Every fucking night you’re making HER groan for hours. It’s causing me problems,” Jungkook directs his eyes to his crotch, “can you just stop?!” 

“So you’re here to cockblock me?!” Yoongi mocks. 

“No, I’m asking you to stop fucking for a bit so I can sleep!” says Jungkook.

“But I haven’t even gotten my cock wet yet!” Yoongi replies.

“I’m sorry. What?” Tae says, now a little braver than before but still trying not to look down at either of his brothers. 

“I said, I haven’t gotten my cock wet yet. As in I haven’t fucked her yet!” Yoongi explains. Tae and Jungkook look at each other as though to telepathically say the same thing, ‘WTF!’ “Hyung, What do you mean?” now a little more confused. 

“Hang on,” Yoongi sighs, letting the door slam as he walks back into his room. He’s gone for 2 minutes before opening the door again, this time with his sweatpants and hoodie on. “Come in,” he gestures to both Jungkook and Tae, who both slink inside to Yoongi’s room.

In the room, you’re wearing one of Yoongi’s favorite tees, something he must’ve thrown at you before opening the door. You’re sat on the bed, cross-legged but pulling the t-shirt to cover yourself, looking a little sheepish and flushed in the face. Your hardened nipples showing through the white tee. “Sure, you’re ok with this, kitten?” Yoongi asks you. You nod at him to imply you’re happy.  “Use your words, kitten! I need to hear them”. 

“Ye-yes, Sir. I’m ok with this” you say shyly.

Yoongi is a very possessive partner. Although he knows he could never truly own you, you were your own independent person after all, it still didn’t mean he wanted to know you’re exclusive to him. You are devoted to him of course. You love everything about him, his smile, his dark exterior but more that you know he’s a softie at heart and that he would do anything for you, as would you for him. When you were together, you were very vocal with Yoongi, but only in private, especially when he dominated you. But having 2 other very attractive men in the room is making you nervous, slightly exposed but excited, in a good way. Now you know they could hear you through the walls, it turned you on. Knowing that they were palming themselves listening to sounds you made from Yoongi inflicting his talents on you. It's making you incredibly excited, it pooling within you.

“Right boys, you want to know how I make her moan?” Yoongi asks, knowing they’d say yes but giving them the option to bail. 

“Well, it didn’t shuttle my cock,” Tae says looking at Jungkook waiting for him to answer. Jungkook stands there mouth agape. He’s been listening to you moaning through the wall for what feels like months. Hearing you climax over and over again, secretly wishing he could do that. Jungkook nods his head at Yoongi. 

Tae looks at them both shocked, “Um, we’re really doing this?”. 

“If you don’t want to, you know where the door is,” Yoongi suggests. Both younger guys are looking at you for permission, your eyes dark already with anticipation.

Yoongi had already been pleasuring you. You were already aching from being edged over and over. You were ready for release and this situation is incredibly tempting. You eye them up and down, bare-chested, toned and hard, well Jungkook is, Tae isn’t far behind. Imagining what they can do, all of them, including Yoongi applying his talents has your licking your lips at them. “Kitten, use your words,” Yoongi directs while removing his hoodie and throwing it on the chair. 

You kneel at the bottom of the bed, pulling the younger 2 towards you by their waistbands, looking up into their eyes watching them glaze over when you slur, “Yes. Sir”.

Yoongi separates both Tae and Jungkook, standing between them, while you look up at him, clawing at his sweatpants. He turns to both before looking back down at you, lifting his tee that clothed you by the hem over your head and throwing it behind him, not once breaking his fixation on you. “Watch. Then you get your turn,” he says while pushing you back onto the bed, completely nude and exposed for all 3 of them. Both Tae and Jungkook stand at the bottom of the bed, watching how Yoongi seems to already find your sensitive spots, eliciting moans and whimpers from your mouth. Tae is the first to move, removing his robe allowing it to fall to the floor. He wanders around to sit on the edge of the bed next to you, not once removing the show before him from his eyes.

Yoongi’s hands are brushing up the sides of your body, tingling your skin between the edge of tickling and satisfaction, making goosebumps on his path. His wet lips biting and pulling onto your earlobe before blowing onto the wet mark he’s made, sending a shiver down your spine and breathy moans leaving your throat. “She seems to like that Hyung,” Tae groans, “What else does she like?” as he leans in. 

“She. Likes. It. When. I. Kiss. Along. Here,” Yoongi says between kisses and nips at your jawline, making you roll your eyes into the back of your head from the sensation. “Also, when I do this,” his hands tracing up your collarbone to the nape of your neck and into your hair, you gasp, “wait,” then he gently pulls your hair making you dig your nails into his back and your legs twitch around him, “Aish! bitch.”  

Tae leans in, close to your ear, whispering in his lowest voice “Perhaps you’d like it if” Tae starts to move closer to the spot just behind your ear, “I. Kissed. Here.” His deep voice vibrating through the pauses as he places his soft lips on your neck, shaking your core. “Hyung, she likes my voice,” Tae points out to Yoongi, allowing him to continue his ministrations while Yoongi turns to Jungkook, who’s still shellshocked at the end of the bed. Well, not entirely shell shocked as his hand it down his sweatpants easing his frustration. Yoongi nods a signal for him to get involved making Jungkook walk around to the side of the bed and rest on it.

Your eyes meet his, he’s nervous but they’re lust filled. He wants this. You take hold of his hand, taking control a little to settle his nerves. You bring it to your lips, brushing each of his fingers on your moist bottom lip before taking his thumb in your mouth. Swirling your tongue around it before lightly sucking, making Jungkook suck air through his teeth. You watch him while you continue to lightly graze your teeth along his skin, licking the ‘wounds’ on your path, watching him getting more and more into this. He moves quickly, leaning in close to your ear whispering, “Do you want me to fuck you babygirl?” before he bites down on your ear, sucking your lobe into his mouth. The speed and roughness he elicits in his actions, makes you cry out, your stomach sucking in, your core firing up and your hips writhing on the bed, stopping Tae and Yoongi in their tracks. Yoongi and Tae both smirk at each other before Jungkook acknowledges they’re there, shrugging back.

Gripping hold of your hips, Yoongi marks his way down your body, nipping the skin between your belly button and your pussy, making your body tingle. Running his fingers delicately along the tops of your thighs, before he places the lightest kisses on your mound, still not touching where you want him to be. Tae’s still kissing and biting at the skin along your jaw, collarbone, and neck, placing them achingly slow while he narrates with his deep voice in your ear. “Would you like me to kiss here?”, while brushing his fingers across your lips, “Or do you want Jungkook to?” groaning at him through your half-lidded eyes.  “What would Yoongi think if we did? Naughty Gurrrrrrl, wanting us on your lips.” 

On hearing this, Yoongi, covers the pad of this thumb with his precum and smears it across your lips and your cheek, before looking at his younger brothers and challenging them, “She’s marked as mine. If you want her you’ve got to go through me first.”

Jungkook didn’t hesitate, stopping his work on your neck and collarbone to kiss your lips. He’s soft at first covering his lips with Yoongi’s precum. The sight is something to behold through your burning eyes, the stickiness still connecting between your lips and his, before he licks his lips tasting his brother. You can’t stand this teasing and you reach up to him pulling Jungkook into your mouth. “Fuck, you’re so wet y/n it's running down your thighs,” you hear Yoongi groan while he kisses your inner thighs, covering his lips with your wetness. Tae moves lower, kissing the valley between your breasts, covering every nerve ending before licking your hardened bud, making you hum in Jungkook’s mouth.

The sensation of having 3 men worship you this way is overwhelming. You felt hot. Your body covered in a sheen of sweat, your core tightened into a coil begging to be unravelled. There were kisses, licks, bites, sucks as well as gentle touches all over your body. But that’s when you felt it, Yoongi’s tongue flat on the slick on your pussy sending you wild, the sensation warm and welcomed. You arch your back so fast that you practically force Jungkook and Tae off you. They stop to watch him work, hands down their sweatpants already sticky from their precum.

Yoongi, begins slow and teasing, licking from your soaked lips all the way up to your clit, wrapping his lips around it before pulling slightly causing you drench is chin. Tae leans in to help you along, continuing his narration, “you like that baby?” making you nod through breathy pants. “Do you want to cum on his tongue?” 

You groan a “y-yes” between ragged breaths. 

“Perhaps we should see who you cum hardest for,” he challenges looking at Jungkook, who is always up for a competition. 

Yoongi looks up at you from between your thighs, groaning into your cunt from the fucked out sight in front of him, lifting only for a second to frankly say, “but she knows my tongue technology is superior.” The view below, seeing Yoongi looking up your body through his dishevelled brown locks, massacred by your hands running and pulling through them.

He continues his onslaught, fucking you with his tongue while he nuzzles your clit with his nose. His hands squeezing indents into your hips as he pulls you closer to him. Feeling you tighten around his tongue he knows you’re close. You’re too breathless to tell him, so he swaps his tongue for his fingers, easing them in 1 by 1 before he has 3 long digits curving to hit your spot, pumping at a steady pace. “You’ll want to watch this,” he says to his brothers, making them move to his view. Yoongi leans in to take your clit in his mouth, pants increasing with whimpers as he draws you to your high before you release all over his hand soaking the sheets beneath him. Groans are drawn out of the all the guys while Yoongi fingerfucks you through your orgasm, still latched onto your clit helping you through your comedown.

“Fuck, she cums hard Hyung,” Jungkook says while Yoongi crawls up the bed to your face, chin and lips still covered in you. 

“Yes, she does,” Yoongi agrees before planting a kiss on your lips, covering yours in your wetness. You open your eyes, still shut and coming down from your high. They’re still dark when they look up at Yoongi above you, licking your lips to taste yourself, to edge him on because you want more. “Fuuuuuu…” he says before closing in on another kiss, allowing you to delve deeper into his mouth, wrapping your tongue around his. You’re a little startled when you feel hands slide up the inside of your thighs, suddenly remembering you’re not alone.

“You’re so wet baby. Do you need me to clean you up?” Tae growls, looking up at you from between your thighs, his black hair parted allowing his eyes to peek through the strands. He’s waiting for your approval, while he gently runs his fingers along the tops of your thighs sending shivers up your body. Yoongi ignores him, needing to taste you more doing so by sinking his teeth into your swollen bottom lip and pulling. “Clean her up Hyung,” Jungkook says. Tae edges his fingers closer, being up close he can see how swollen you are and he needs to be gentle.

Starting with kisses on your thighs, he works up and across your mound, being careful not to touch your sensitive clit until you’re ready. He can hear you start to groan in Yoongi mouth, meaning he can finally taste you, placing the lightest kitten lick on your lips to cover his tongue in you. Jungkook moves closer, “How does she taste?”, Tae moves to allow Jungkook to taste for himself, placing his lips around your slit before pushing his tongue in shallowly, sucking you into his mouth. 

Tae, moves Jungkook out of the way, “She tastes so sweet. I need more”.

Jungkook, moves closer to your face allowing Tae to continue cleaning you up. Yoongi’s still on your lips, your hand down his sweatpants covering your hand in precum. “You taste like honey, babygirl,” Jungkook says, breaking your kiss with Yoongi and pulling your face to his, covering your lips and tongue in the wetness he’s not swallowed. 

“Let’s taste,” Yoongi pulls you to him desperate to taste you again. It’s messy, your lips are swollen from bites and kisses from 2 people but the taste of them has you ready for more. Your internal ache burning up again, causing you to gush on Tae’s chin, his tongue flicking on your clit.

“Gguk-ah, I need some help here,” Tae pulls on Jungkook’s leg to encourage him back down the bed. The 2 of them maneuvering to both clean you up. Jungkook lifts your right leg to an angle, sliding underneath, turning his head right getting a face full of your cunt, while Tae is reaching over your left leg to suck, pull and flick at your clit. Your upper body is busy with Yoongi, although you're becoming breathless again, the feeling of 3 tongues on your body is coiling you up once more.

Yoongi’s already kicked off his sweatpants, allowing easier access to him, his precum smeared over your hand as you pump his length. His kisses are still passionate and deep, making it difficult to breathe. You begin to groan in his throat, pulling away as the sensations are too much. “You close kitten?” he asks as he marks your neck, you’re nodding at him, unable to find your words. Yoongi pulls you up the bed away from Tae and Jungkook, he kneels between your legs and smears his precum over your clit, pumping and squeezing for more to dribble down onto your slit, mixing with your own juices as he lines himself up with your entrance.

He grabs your hips and pulls you up to straddle his lap, sliding you onto him. He stills for a minute while he lifts your body against him, you’re chest to chest when he plants a kiss on your lips. “You’re mine first kitten,” he tells you before he’s rolling your hips with his hands, making you gyrate on his lap. Your head thrown back from finally being full of him, pushing against the spot where you need him most, you’re peeking. Your breath is ragged while whimpers leave your throat, especially when he moves his hands to reach and touch your ass. “You want me in here kitten?”, he says as he places a finger on it to tease. You shake your head, focussed on the feeling coiling within you. “No? Do you want Tae or Jungkook instead?” he sounded slightly disappointed, as though you preferred his brothers to do that to you. You shake your head once more.

“What should they do then kitten? They’re waiting for you,” Yoongi asks, slowing slightly to keep you on the edge for a bit longer. You turn to them both, still sat at the end of the bed with their sweatpants on, their hands down them trying to ease the hardness. 

You turn to Yoongi, “I-I want t-them,” 

“Yes y/n, what do you want them to do?”, 

“I-I want,” pressure building up within causes you to stop, and Yoongi stops to stop you from going over the edge. 

“Use your words kitten,” He’s pressing for an answer as well as on your hips and neck. 

“I want them after you. I’m yours first Sir.” 

“Fuck y/n. You want them to fuck my cum into you?”. You nod to confirm, making Yoongi start rolling you on his cock again, “You’re so filthy. Wanting to be filled with me first. Them having to go through me to get to you. Allowing me to mark you as mine,” Yoongi turns to his brothers, “You heard her. Top drawer.” 

Making you mutter, “N-no. Without”. 

Yoongi’s eyes widen, a bit taken aback by your honesty, “You want to be filled with them too kitten?” Yoongi asks, causing a groan out of you and a roll of your shutting eyes.

Yoongi turns to his brothers for confirmation. Although this is what you want, he’s protecting you. He knows you’re on birth control but he doesn’t want to risk anything else. He is yours and you are his after all. 

Tae mouths “I’m clean” at Yoongi, knowing exactly what he’s getting at and hearing what you said. 

He looks at Jungkook who replies, “Not done it without before”. 

This draws a guttural groan out of your throat, your clenching around Yoongi, so close to release. “She likes the sound of that.” He lays you on your back, still kneeling so he’s got you tilted on his lap, pounding into your spot, making you tighten more and more by the second. “Fuck, you’re so tight y/n,” as he places his thumb on your exposed clit sending you over the edge. The coil releases, pulsating around Yoongi, “Fu-fuck” he curses as he finds his release too, spilling into you. The hot feeling of his cum filling you up causes groans from you. He stills not to overstimulate you before withdrawing, putting a pillow under you so you remain tilted on the bed, so not to a single spill a drop.

Yoongi watches you laying there, still breathing heavily, panting from your high, being teased for what felt like hours. You look exhausted and fucked out already, very little energy left and he could see your face wanting more. Your walls still pulsating from your high, the edge Yoongi pushed you over causing him to dribble from you and over your slit. “Careful kitten. Don’t spill any,” Yoongi says as he scoops up the white thread on his finger, presenting it to your mouth to taste him. You take his finger, wrapping your tongue around it to ensure you got every salty bit of him. He places a kiss on your lips before laying by your side, stroking your skin, turning to his brothers mouthing, “well?”.

Tae moves like a flash. You’ve never seen someone undress so quickly in your life. You blinked and he’s nude, his sweatpants pooled on the floor with the robe he dropped earlier, his cock angry, long and hard waiting for your touch, but he resists. “Baby, I’m going to take my time with you,” he growls as he crawls across the bed towards your face. 

He starts from lower stomach up your body, placing slow, light, kisses on your sweat sheened body, watching your face between the strands of black hair framing his dark eyes. He can see you're enjoying his touch, your eyes watching back, glazing over with lust and wanting. His touch becoming slower as he reaches the valley between your breasts, still heaving with heavy breathing, before his delicate fingers trace your skin, brushing up the sides of your body before cupping your breast in his hands. You gasp, as he brushes his thumb along the curvature and over your harden buds. He toys with you, swiping his thumb back and forth over your left when his kisses cover the right, taking your nipple in his mouth and wrapping his tongue around it. “Someone is sensitive,” he mocks between flicks of his tongue, causing heat to boil within you once more. He nips down on your breast, pulling at the nipple slightly between his lips, humming to send vibrations through your body.

Yoongi’s laying there by your side, watching Tae worship your body to make you want him inside. It’s hard for him to watch his brother do this to you, but the look on your face is ecstasy and he adores seeing you like this. He loves driving you to make those faces and sounds. He can’t resist putting kisses on your neck, tracing your ear with his lips, whispering “How often have you thought about this?”, you turn to face Yoongi and shake your head in response, “Pay attention to him kitten, he wants you… but remember, you’re mine,” before placing a kiss on your lips.

Tae is latched to your breast, his lips wrapped and sucking on it but his cock in his hand leaking precum all over his fingers and your mound, dribbling over your pussy. He lines himself up against your wet entrance, already filled with Yoongi, covered in Tae’s pre-cum and you’re already aching for more. Tae leans into your neck, towering over your sweat covered body placing kisses on your neck before whispering in your ear, “I want to feel you. I want you to cum for me. On me. Around me.” He catches your eyes, both of you dark, turned on and filled with lust. He moves closer, his strands of black hair touching your face as he leans in to kiss your lips, sliding into you as he does so. He’s hissing into your gaped mouth, your walls engulfing him as he bottoms out deep within you. You’re clenching around him already, mainly from sensitivity but he waits, continuing to kiss you until he feels you relax around him.

As soon as he feels you relax, Tae begins to grind into you painfully slow yet satisfyingly so. He’s doing as he promised. He wants to feel you, learn the what makes you hum, makes you hiss and groan, which he learns quickly. You feel full of him and you can feel Yoongi’s cum starting to dribble out of you, making Tae look down. “Fuck y/n. You’re leaking all over me,” before he leans back in to bite along your jaw, working down your neck, feeling you tighten around him. His angle adjusts and he’s hitting right where you need him. Every single slow press pushing you closer and closer, tighter and tighter around him. His rhythm is romantic, not in a loving way but like he’s making art. Considering each movement, whether with his hips, the glare from his eyes or his lips on your neck, it's all well timed like he knows what makes your body purr.

You begin to pant from feeling your core start to tighten, and Tae can feel it around him. “You getting tighter for me already baby?” his low voice having you in a whimpering mess. The vibrations from it shooting through you. You feel him grab your hand and place it on your lower stomach, placing his over the top pushing down slightly. “Push here y/n. You feel that?” you feel him moving inside you, and damn it's hot to feel it through yourself, making you clench tighter around him. “Do you like me fucking you baby?”, a groan pulls from your throat. “Keep your hands here. See if you can feel me cum” he tells you before he traces his hands up your sides, rolling your nipple with the one hand and cupping the other to meet his lips. His lips wrapped around your bud flicking his tongue back and forth, making your coil tighten to its brink. 

“I’m sooo close,” you purr. 

“I know Baby. I am too.” Tae growls with your nipple still in his mouth, and that’s when he does it. He clamps down on your nipple, sucking it into his mouth sending you throbbing over his cock. Tae isn’t far behind you and not only do you feel him spilling inside you, but you feel his throbbing cock through your stomach, where you still have your hand pressed.

He stills completely so you don’t lose any more of Yoongi and his cum from you until he falls away from you on the bed. Your back and ass still propped up with a pillow. “How was that Kitten?” Yoongi reminds you he’s here by stroking your hair. You nod at him, completely limp and fucked. “Good, because it’s Gguk’s turn now,” Yoongi reminds you. 

You shake your head, “Can’t,” you’re certain you can’t take anymore. 

You’re wasted and certain that any more will kill you, metaphorically speaking. “Kitten, he’s been so good waiting his turn. You’ve cum for me more times than this before,” Yoongi reminds you. Jungkook is sat on the end of the bed, wide-eyed. He still can’t believe this is happening, jerking himself off under his sweatpants, his abs tightening from the pressure of no release. Yoongi continues to stroke your hair, “Come on kitten, I know you can do this. I’ll help you.” You nod in agreement, although you’re sensitive.

Jungkook moves to you, not removing his sweatpants but climbs the bed. “Careful. I’m sensitive,” you tell him between deep breaths. 

“Sure Babygirl. I’ll be careful,” he affirms. He’s gentle in his approach, he wants to see you and talk to you before he does anything. He meets you face to face, brushing your hair with his fingers and you’re softening to his touch. “I’ve not done this before,” he says. 

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” brushing your hand through his hair, his eyes rolling from the touch as you tousle his locks. 

“No, I want to. I’ve been hearing you for months through that wall. It’s my turn to make you moan.” His doe eyes are dark and taking in your features. He looks at your lips then flicks up to your eyes, he’s staring at yours through his dark hair strands, sweat already beading on his brow, moistening his lips with his tongue as he leans in to kiss you. Tongues and teeth clashing, his actions are rougher than his words because he needs you.

His hands are gentle but his mouth is not. Jungkook’s stroking along your collarbone, your neck, holding your chin. His mouth is pressed tightly against yours, sighing into it as his tongue is wrapped around yours. He breaks to check you’re ok but your eyes tell it all, but he’s quick and turns your head, grazing the sensitive parts on your neck and jaw with his teeth. “You have no idea what your groans have done to me,” he murmurs in your ear before latching his lips around it and sucking. You gasp with pleasure. He’s quick but it’s working, he’s getting you wound up again. “I’m going to savour this,” he mutters, before working down your body.

His movements are precise like he’s thought about doing this to you over and over. He goes to mark you on your chest but stops before it can turn pink, licking the wound. He remembers you’re not his to mark, but your moans are currently all for him right now and he’s loving the way you sing them. He licks, nips and kisses his way lower, finding those sensitive areas of skin that almost flutter with his touch. He’s worshipping you and you're watching him do so. His eyes attentive to your face, watching for any flinch if he goes too far but from your stomach, he’s desperate to hear your moans for him.  There’s no sensitivity left, he’s building pleasure within you. He rolls his eyes closed when you run your fingers through his hair and pull at the strands slightly, dishevelling his sweaty locks. And that’s when he does it, he licks your inner thigh clean with one big stripe, already covered in you, Yoongi and Tae, his motions filling you with pleasure.

“Y/N, you’re so full,” Jungkook growls as he takes in your cum filled cunt. His tongue runs from the back to the front, scooping a load of cum from you before presenting it to your mouth. He doesn’t so much kiss you, he presses your lips with his until you open them to allow him in. Instead, he lets the cum from his tongue bead down with his saliva into your mouth, allowing you to taste Tae and Yoongi finally. You groan from his actions, they’re filthier than you thought considering he hasn’t done this before. “Look at you tasting my Hyungs after they filled you up”, he growls at you, sending you gushing. Then he’s gone. He’s latched to your clit, lips wrapped around it as he circles his tongue. He’s removing his sweatpants while he sends your insides coiling tighter for him, whimpers leaving from your lips. “Turn over for me Babygirl,” he says as he helps you over.

As you’re flipped ass up, head down, you feel a chest underneath you and hands threaded with yours, both Yoongi’s. “You’re beautiful like this Kitten,” which puts a smirk across your face. He starts stroking your cheek, watching you lovingly. He wants to watch your face as you cum. Jungkook strokes your back and ass cheeks before pumping himself, lining up with your entrance, cum already leaking out from both Tae and Yoongi, but now it’s about to be filled with his. Jungkook leans forward to kiss your shoulders and run his hands in your hair, balling some in his fist. “Sing for me Babygirl,” he whispers in your ear as he pushes into you, cum pushing out of you onto his skin and the bed. “Fuuuuu-,” you gasp out. Breathing heavy as Jungkook bottoms out in you. 

“Fuck you’re so wet,” Jungkook grunts. 

“Yeah, it’s different without,” Tae points out from the sidelines, a box smile spread across his face as he’s flaked out on the bed.

Jungkook stills for a moment, composing himself before he begins to move, and boy, he’s relentless. He begins pounding into you, slapping against you with every hip movement. His hands on your hips, his eyes fixed on watching his cock disappear within you and reappearing covered in cream. Some from you, some from his brothers. Yoongi starts to coax you through, watching you breathing heavy, whimpering and groaning. “I love watching your face when my tongue licks your cunt kitten,” your eyes snapping to Yoongi’s. You’re fixated on each other, no one else is in the room. “You always look like you’re in bliss. Just like now,” he continues while you let yourself listen to the pleasure burning within you, singing moans from deep inside you. “I love making you moan on my fingers. I love stretching you with my cock,” causing you to gasp. A slap ringing in the air from Jungkook’s hand on your ass cheek, the sting tightening the coil further. 

“Shit y/n you’re getting tight on me,” growls Jungkook between ragged breaths. So he does it again, slapping your ass thrusting you forward onto Yoongi’s lips, kissing you to help send you over the edge and cumming on Jungkook’s cock. 

Yoongi pulls away to watch your face, “but I love watching your face when you cum”. 

“Fuck Babygirl,” follows feeling Jungkook spill into you, filling you up for the 3rd time tonight as he fucks you through your orgasm.

“That’s my good girl,” Yoongi says as you collapse on his chest. Both Jungkook and Tae are starfished naked on Yoongi’s bed, falling asleep. Yoongi slides out from underneath you, grabbing his sweatpants and puts a tee on you. You’re so fucked out you can barely move, making a mess on the sheets. He scoops you up into his arms as he walks out of his room. “I’m going to your room,” Yoongi announces but it’s too late, his brothers are sound asleep.

Yoongi carries you bridal style out of his room and into Jungkook’s room next door, immediately going to the bathroom to preheat the shower. He doesn’t even remove his sweatpants or the tee covering your body. He carries you into the walk-in shower, both of you soaked from warm water seeping through your clothing to hit the skin underneath. Yoongi lowers himself to sit on the shower floor with you curled in his lap, your head on his shoulder while allows the water to rain on you both from above. “But most of all kitten, I love you,” he whispers while he smoothes your hair, embracing you until you fall asleep.

Read more on the Masterlist.

#btsmutclub #mygsnet #min yoongi #yoongi #bts suga #suga smut #suga #yoongi smut #smut #bts smut #one shot #kim taehyung #taehyung #tae #jeon jungkook #jungkook #gguk #kookie #V #bts v #bts jjk #bts kth #bts myg #bts yoongi #bts jungkook #bts kim taehyung #tongue technology #got me talking in my sleep #bts imagine #bts imagines

[kpophours]

a very necessary guide to SF9

so. let’s talk about these underrated kings. be prepared for rambling. I just love them too much. my favorite boys, 10/10 would recommend stanning them.

some basic information

9 members (5 vocals, 4 rappers, 9 dancers and 9 visuals just stating the facts)

SF9 stands for Sensational Feeling 9

debuted on October 5, 2016 with Fanfare (still a BOP)

currently under FNC Entertainment and actually their first male dance group

their official fandom name is Fantasy (such a good name, honestly) and the official color is Fantasia Hologram (aka the  p r e t t i e s t).

debuted after winning a survival show called Dance or Band (they participated as the dance team; the band team debuted as Honeyst in 2017)

7 mini albums so far with RPM being their latest comeback 

... now onto the members (buckle up)!

Youngbin

Kim Youngbin, born on November 23, 1993

LeaderBin aka the Dad™

very charismatic, be prepared for some really intense eye contact (two words: stage presence)

rapper (highest rapping voice out of the four of them)

D A N C E R (a former 1MILLION dance studio trainee), so he‘s obviously 1/3 of sf9′s extremely talented dance line

also 1/3 of hyung line

cutest eye-smile (so soft) + cutest giggle™

rocked his red hair and looks amazing with slightly curled hair (do not fight me on this)

is tattooed (very  p r e t t y)

threatens everyone’s bias at least once

gives amazing (and unnecessary long) pep talks together with Jaeyoon (just let the other boys sleep, please)

gazes so, so fondly at all his members in pretty much every video (no, I will NOT cry)

Jaeyoon is his roommate and secret wife.

Inseong

Kim Inseong, born on July 12, 1993

the oldest (not mentally) aka the Grandpa™

main vocal (those HIGH NOTES, damn). extremely steady voice.

unique beauty. looks a bit like a desert fox (according to himself and everyone with a pair of functioning eyes).

1/3 of extra line (see and hear three loud idiots in all their videos? yep, that’s him ft. Jaeyoon and Dawon)

also 2/3 of hyung line

v e r y intelligent and educated (holds a degree in Journalism and Communication) but also stupid

owner of an extremely cute smile 

t h i g h s  i am not weak or biased at all

SF9’s designated English speaker (used to live in London for a year)

amazing winking-ability, 10/10 will leave you weak-kneed

King of Lies. he’ll probably never pass a lie detector test. but it’s okay we still love him.

is left-handed and really good at drawing

married to Jaeyoon (it‘s complicated).

Jaeyoon

Lee Jaeyoon, born on August 9, 1994

3/3 of hyung line

honey voice (aka OST King)

d i m p l e s.

blindingly white teeth. the most beautiful smile (canines!).

very proud of his hips and butt (as he should be).

his actual name is Ethan

likes to work out and is  f i t (he ended all Fantasies during rpm promotions, so thanks for that)

King of girl group dances and in charge of sexy (Zumba) dances

a  fuc ki ng  tease (again, rip all Fantasies during the UNIXERSE rpm stage)

2/3 of extra line (shares one brain cell with Inseong and Dawon. they don’t use it very often.)

had a pink undercut during the Mamma Mia era and probably made people cry with his outstanding beauty. again, i’m not biased at all

seems a bit shy and quiet at first. don’t be fooled. he is loud and will come for you.

married to both Inseong and Youngbin.

Dawon

Lee Sanghyuk, born on July 24, 1995

oh boy... such a bundle of utter chaos.

e x t r a (3/3 of extra line and probably their President™)

hear something loud and annoying in the background? it’s probably (most definitely) Dawon (helped by the other 2/3 of extra line)

a unique and beautiful voice (he needs more lines or else I’ll throw hands) - rapping, singing, screaming, he can do it all.

a fucking tease 2.0 (seriously, he and Jaeyoon need to be stopped)

Bruce Lee impressions on point

has tattoos

such a meme-face but also so handsome, like H O W

looks amazing and so soft with curly hair must protect

had so many different hair styles during their Mamma Mia promotions, rip his hair (and rip to all new Fantasies trying to keep track lol)

actually very soft. cried when Inseong surprised them during their UNIXERSE concert (which our Grandpa couldn’t participate in due to an injury)

likes to bully Taeyang.

Zuho

Baek Juho, born on July 4, 1996

Mr. Deep Ass Voice™

“my nose is my swag“

such a good dancer, definitely underappreciated. 

looks intimidating at first, but is actually the softest (d u a l i t y)

the best cat dad (Huru has yet to accept his undying love for him though)

composes/produces own songs (@FNC: please, I’m b e g g i n g you to finally put Champagne on an album) and writes lyrics for a lot of sf9′s songs

didn‘t participate in most of their Enough promotions due to his (still ongoing) back problems (#FNCletZuhoRestChallenge2019)

a dork and meme and honestly just so, so cute and lovable

social butterfly (seriously, he‘s friends with literally e v e r y idol out there)

composed a (love) letter to Fantasy while driving a car with Hwiyoung, Taeyang and Dawon sleeping in the passenger and backseat yes I cried

a scaredy cat (ran away and left his members behind when he got scared by a staff member during their Trip with Fantasy)

Rowoon

Kim Seokwoo, born on August 7, 1996

yes he‘s a Tree™. is made up of 90% unnecessary long legs.

main vocal 2.0

1/2 of actor line

very handsome, I know (but he‘s so much more than just his good looks)

a devoted mom of 8

loves all Chanis and not-Chanis equally

almost had a mental breakdown because he managed to hit Chani’s face with a football which resulted in his precious maknae getting a nosebleed

always hugging and kissing and generally just smothering all members with his endless love and affection (especially Chani)

(t) h o t  and knows it (very shy with fanboys though)

has literally only one selfie angle he uses rigorously  

his One True Talent™ is staring sexily into the camera and doing nothing else because yes, he’s just that handsome

tries to be funny and fails most of the time, but he‘s cute so it’s okay.

Taeyang

Yoo Taeyang, born on February 28, 1997

undercover main vocal (has almost as many lines as Inseong and Rowoon)

best dancer, period. his entire body is probably made out of water. such. fluid. moves. - 2/3 of dance line, often in charge of choreographies.

also 1/3 of maknae line

speaks in ᵀᴵᴺʸ ᶠᴼᴺᵀ 

the literal Sun™, his smile has healing properties.

has great hair and pushes it back a lot during his dance moves

a flower boy (literally. wanted to become a florist before debuting as an idol)

looks a bit like Lee Dongwook aka The Reaper from Goblin

you think he‘s soft? uh, sure, yeah. but is also s a v a g e (the personification of that then perish meme)

has a... unique way of drying his hair (ask Dawon, he‘ll show you. even if you don’t want him to, Dawon will show you)

gets bullied by Dawon. bullies him back. very spot-on impressions of Mr. Extraness (as seen on their Weekly Idol episode)

soulmates and married to Hwiyoung, I don’t make the rules.

Hwiyoung

Kim Youngkyun, born May 11, 1999

rapper and Mr. Charismatic™

yes he is that guy from their Now or Never mv 

looks bad-ass but is a certified baby boy (2/3 of maknae line)

cute without trying and is actually a cat

has literally the best gummy smile which he used to hide behind his hands (but his hyungs encouraged him so much and now he smiles openly, I am not crying, you are)

grew up so suddenly and had long hair out of nowhere and left everyone sh o ok (should definitely be in a shampoo commercial)

composes songs. put one on SoundCloud just very recently. writes lyrics for a lot of sf9′s songs.

cried during their survival show when he got scolded for continuing to mess up the choreography and had to be hugged by Youngbin (who really is the best dad™)

King of the Cleopatra game thanks to his dolphin screams should probably be part of vocal line

pretended to not recognize his soulmate and roommate aka Taeyang when he had to guess his members from their hands while wearing a blindfold. Taeyang will probably never recover from this betrayal and is most definitely still whining about it.

Chani

Kang Chanhee, born on January 17, 2000

deep ass voice 2.0

d a n c e r (his little solo dance in Now or Never will forever be superior), 3/3 of dance line

Evil Maknae™ (3/3 of maknae line)

2/2 of actor line (yes he‘s that boy from Sky Castle)

speaks fluent duck

Taemin‘s Nº fanboy (literally knows his blood type, like... wow okay)

can‘t remember any of the members birthdays (he actually thought Youngbin was born in August when his birthday is literally in the middle of Winter. Leaderbin was hurt).

always looks like a smol bean, but everyone else is just ridiculously tall

had bright orange hair once only for about one second though lol

constantly smothered with love and hugs from Rowoon and pretends to hates it

has all his hyungs wrapped around his finger and knows it (they‘re all whipped for him, especially when he’s doing aegyo)

has a lot of hair aka (my favorite) coconut head (#freehisforehead2019)

looks expressionless and tired 24/7 (a whole mood and true gen z)

some videos to watch

all of their mv’s of course

literally every comeback stage

the suit versions of Now or Never and RPM

the ghost prank/horror version of Now or Never (I cried laughing) 

this really cute Dingo Music version of Enough 

basically all their dance practices, but especially K.O. (we all know they should have gone viral with that choreography)

their adorable pajama version of Different

them performing RPM on a treadmill (Chani is a mood™ and Inseong’s grandpa waddle is so cute)

these stunning acoustic versions of their songs brought to you by 2/3 of extra line + The Tree™

their kcon New York 2019 performance (+ their cover of Love Shot)

their reality show Trip with Fantasy 

them dancing to O Sole Mio ft. Ostriches

their episodes on Weekly Idol and Idol Room

their girl group cover dance battle on Weekly Idol (ft. Cross Gene)

Rowoon and Inseong on Masked Singer

Dawon on Weekly Idol as part of the Masked Idol segment

the Now or Never choreography ft. dance line and the 1MILLION dance crew

them covering BTS’ Boy in Luv + EXO’s Call Me Baby

the Idol Dance Cover Challenge of Love Shot (ft. Astro, The Boyz and CIX)

this interview (I mean, that title alone... lol)

those are just a few of my favorite videos - there’s so much more content out there, so you’ll definitely never starve, lol.

I could literally ramble on about these nine incredible men for hours on end. 

But this will be the end of my guide (it’s long enough already, lol).

Stan SF9 for (clear skin and good grades) nine hard-working and so, so talented individuals with amazing voices, incredible dance moves, outstanding visuals, chaotic energies and a lot of meme-worthiness.

You won’t regret it, I promise.

(Don’t worry, Rowoon(’s face) is okay).

[masterlist] | [requests] 

#sf9 #sf9 info #sf9 guide #guide to sf9 #Youngbin #Inseong #Jaeyon #Dawon #Zuho #Rowoon #Taeyang #Hwiyoung #Chani #Kim Youngbin #Kim Inseong #Lee Jaeyoon #Lee Sanghyuk #Baek Juho #Kim Seokwoo #Yoo Taeyang #Kim Youngkyun #Kang Chanhee #Fantasy #sf9 Fantasy #kpop guide #sensational feeling 9

[jobethdalloway]

OMG HAHAHAHAHHA a queer eye/R&I crossover. i'm dying please write this

I cannot stop thinking about the fab 5 like, watching the video at the end.

Jane opens the door, looking like a total boss in a black button-up and tie, and skinny jeans tucked into a hot-ass pair of boots. Her family, co-workers, and Maura come in and fawn over the redecorated apartment and her hair. Angela in particular can’t stop obsessing over the fact that Jane seems to have finally learned how to actually apply eyeliner.

Karamo: We’re all seeing this, right? Maura can’t keep her eyes off her. 

Tan: Did she just bite her lip? Oh, my God. She is biting her lip.

Jonathan: (smacking his knee for emphasis) HONEY, WE GET IT. WE. ARE. SEEING. WHAT YOU. ARE SEEING. WE STAN. SHE. IS. A. SNACK.

Antoni: A snack? No, a snack is like a little cutie.

Jonathan: A cutie, like a little clementine? OH MY GOD, WASN’T THAT HER MIDDLE NAME?! I am firing on so many levels right now.

Antoni: You are missing the point. The point is that she’s not a snack, she is like a full course meal. Drinks, dinner, dessert. The whole feast.

Jonathan: And Maura is FEASTING her eyes on that KUH-WEEN.

Jane pulls Maura aside at the party. “Hey, so…” and runs a hand through her hair.

Jonathan: YES QUEEN, THAT’S THE MONEY SHOT. LOVE THAT HAIR. 

Tan: Damn, her hair really is fantastic. What’d you give her to put in that? It looks so good. What was she saying about her styling before?

Jonathan: She said she washed it and just hoped for the best. But like, look at this Disney princess hair. Like it’s effortless, but she’s not trying too hard. She is serving me swag. She is serving me Law AND Order. She is also somehow serving me Baywatch Nights and I am living for it.

Karamo: Yeah, she is serving the swag, all right.

Bobby: Wait. Wait, wait, wait, are we all seeing this? Are we seeing this right now?

*the fab 5 loses their collective shit as Maura puts her hand in Jane’s*

Karamo: THIS IS IT, THIS IS OUR MOMENT

Bobby: I mean, it’s their moment, but-

Jonathan: LET US HAVE THIS, BOBERT.

Jane can’t fight a smile as she takes Maura’s other hand. “Hey, so, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since Casey left…”

Jonathan: (snapping his fingers) Soldier boy decided he would rather serve the patriarchy than serve YOU, honey!! So we left his sorry ass!

Antoni: He was like maybe a little hot, though? (Bobby slams 3 couch pillows into his face)

Maura nods as Jane nervously fumbles her way through asking her out.

Jonathan: (doing the splits on the couch/on top of Bobby and Karamo so he can be holding hands and/or touching legs with everyone else in the group) Omigod. Omigod if she says no, I am going to have to like repel down from the ceiling like Thomas Cruise in Mission Impossible and stage an intervention. I am shipping it so hard right now.

Karamo: She’s gonna say yes, look at that smile. She’s got an amazing smile.

“Jane, I’d really love that.”

Fab 5: awwwwww

Maura stands on her toes and pecks the corner of Jane’s mouth.

Fab 5: awwwOOOOHSH*********T AHHHHHHHH (Jonathan slowly rolls over, faceplanting onto the couch, then awkwardly falling onto the floor)

Bobby: Is this weird, though? Like, think about the pressure. If you knew reality TV cameras were gonna be filming you, how could you say no?

Tan: No, no, I distinctly remember Jane making a point of saying that Maura is physically incapable of lying.

Antoni: How is that possible?

Tan: I don’t know, she gets hives or something. But I talked to her myself, and trust me, the woman is honest to a fault. She spilled all the tea about Jane’s life without the air of one spilling tea. Just giving facts. She wants this date.

Karamo: You can see it in her beautiful face!

Jonathan: (from the floor) Yes, Dr. Isles, yaaaas. She is serving me L’Oreal commerical. She is serving me Gabrielle from Xena: Warrior Princess. She is serving me Serbian goddess. I can’t even, right now.

Jane: So this has been a pretty chill housewarming, I have to say. Got this kickass new place, I found wine I don’t hate, I think I’ve finally figured out how to find a style that actually works for me, and isn’t just ‘meh,’ and I asked my best friend and dream girl out on a date! And she said yes! Can you believe??

Jonathan: *SCREAMS*

Karamo: She quoted you!!!

Jonathan: YES, QUEEN!!!

#rizzles #i was like choking from laughter the whole time i wrote this bc i love them all so much #i have so many scenarios in my head #thank u anon this really cheered me up #queer eye

[dafukdidiwatch]

REVIEWING TIME TRAVELING BABIES

Right, so, I have now complete understanding (hopefully) over the progression of the Universes that have popped up. Alpha-Jegus->Karkat->John->Jane. I got that.

I also got that the Reset just changed the time/location the babies were originally going to. Pre-Reset, the babies would have gone into the past and grown up to the gang we all know and love. Post-Reset, they would have gone to a different dimension in different locations and turn into the Alpha-Verse.

So that means John (our boy john) was the one to create ALL the babies, and ALL 8 sets of both Alpha and Beta-verse.

And since each baby didn’t launch yet without a gift/present, let’s see where each of those things ended up.

JANE

She got the hat. In Beta-Verse, she didn’t really much wear the hat (seeing how most of the time she is a ghost).

But in Alpha-Verse, Jane uses the hat as a way of expressing her interest in Detectives. Mean that hat went through an explosive landing and time, but still has ink splots on from when Beta-Dad went through Skaia.

JAKE

He got the Guns.

in Beta-Verse, he grew up to be Harley, named after his dog. He had duel-Pistols, which he used to accidentally kill the Colonel. Baby Jade was messing with them, prompting Tavros to move the guns away from her, and killing Harley instead. 

In Alpha-Verse, Jake just has the guns and his weapon of choice are the guns.

DAVE

Dave got Maplehoof. He stole Rose’s birthday present.

In Beta-Verse, his baby ass killed her gift (the bastard) and Bro just made it into a leather bib for some fucking reason.

Alpha-Verse, yeah we haven’t really seen the original Maplehoof, just this tiny version of it. So my theory is that Maplehoof died again in Alpha-Verse, and Dave grew up, wanted to replicate that, and just used his vast wealth to create a tiny-ass version of Maplehoof, like what happened in Spy Kids 2.

ROXY

So this one is a bit easy. Mutant Mew-Mew was created by Rose, taken in game by Rose, and John ended up with her. Given to baby Roxy.

In Beta, this was probably the thing that inspired he to be a scientist, to find the secrets of the 4 eyed cat and study with her super secret science lab underground. And honestly? It is probably the same cat, so I guess it lives eternal, unless Beta-Roxy makes a new cat every so often.

In Alpha.....

I think we know her love of cats...and science

JOHN

John got a book, specifically, John got the book that his ghost-grandma signed.

So original history was John had a non-signed version of the book, took it with him, Ghost-Grandma wrote a message, dropped it down for John to find the book in the Ecto-room, and for baby John to crawl on it.

From there it killed grandma, but Beta-Dad found said book and kept it in his safe. Which John opened and has currently.

In Alpha-Verse, John crashed with the book. Was raised as a comedian pro, kept this book as an heirloom, which was passed down from generation to generation along with his body, until it was in Jane’s house all her life.

DIRK

God, GOD! Fuck this puppet, you are Fucking Eternal and I hate you.

So, if I get this fucking right.......Gamzee gave Dave nightmares and he got haunted by Cal. Dream-Cal was picked up by Cop-Guy, and floated his way to the Ecto-Room to be with Dirk.

In Beta-Verse, Cal went back in time to Dirk, where Dirk took, loved, cherish, used to raise/beat up Dave, used to fight Jack on Prospit, where Jack stole Cal, took with him when ransacking the Trolls, sent back in time to Aradia, re-suited in a green suit, for the Troll’s Black Queen to ecto-create a brand-new fucking Scratch (hate that guy still), and Gamzee currently has it.

Alpha-Verse, Dirk was raised with Cal. I have no idea why Alpha-Dave didn’t burn it when Dirk came crashing in, but whatever. Dirk loves the bastard, and I do not.

See, I got a theory. You know how poltergeist could fuck with people by like doing demonic whispering and leading them to the dark side in movies? Yeah, I 100% agree with Anti-Jegus that Cal is Bad Juju. Gamzee made it out of anger/rage, so it became evil. A fucking Swag-Bag of evil.

I 100% believe that Cal did like, secret evil dark whisperings of “you should go kill” “killing is fun, totally, all the cool kids do it.” Not to say Gamzee didn’t also just went nuts from withdrawl and just wanted to kill, but he had Cal encouraging it because Cal is t r a s h.

So, Cal is now loose in Alpha-Verse, and I am just Waiting for the next victim of Cal’s Bad Juju Dark Spirit Shit.

(SIDEBAR: please fund me on Patreon so I can get enough money to make my own Cal Effigy and just burn the bastard)

Finally, RABBIT

Yeah, THESE GUYS. The Rabbit has a Long Fucking History, doesn’t it?

Dave bought Con Air Rabbit. Gave it to John for his birthday.

John, in a moment of Con Air Purity, Gave that Rabbit to Rose.

Rose grew up with the rabbit, but it was torn. So with John’s gift of Knitting-Supplies, she reknitted it to send to John on the same Birthday.

(So John had 2 rabbits at the same time)

During the Same “Con Air Purity” Moment, John gave that Rabbit to Jade.

Jade grew up with that rabbit, and for months (somehow) kept sending it Back and Forth with Jake (again....somehow!) to improve it.

Resulting in Liv, John’s current Rabbit, who helped him deliver the Bomb to both Rose and Dave to kill (but actually create) The Green Sun.

The long Complex life of Beta-Rabbit.

And it changes in Apha-Verse.

So, Dave gives rabbit to John, who gives it to Baby Rose. In Alpha, rabbit just stays as a rabbit. Given to Roxy, who dresses it as a Wizard and given to Jane for her birthday.

With this rabbit, Dave->John->Beta Baby Rose-> John -> Baby Jade. Only this time, baby Jane goes to Alpha-Land, passed down to Jake, who dressed it up and gave to Jane for the same birthday.

Meaning that Lil Seb

Is just another Con Air Rabbit turned to Cyborg, only with more of a shortcut, than what happened with Liv.

#dafukblog #homestuck #act6 int2 #hs226 #analysis

[thebachelordiaries]

Judging the sh*t out of ‘The Bachelorette’ conestants

The first time I saw these men, I was rightfully disappointed. Their cast photos were so terrible that ABC took new pictures of them. That is unprecedented.

I would never wish for a person’s unemployment, but I hope that ABC photographer got a good severance package.

Luckily for everyone involved, none of these guys are actually that ugly. I mean, some of them still kind of are, but they will go home night one. The ugly ones are always eliminated first. It’s called Darwinism. 

Oppositely, some of these guys have trouble written all over them. [Clarification: good trouble] I’m talking about you, Mike and Tyler C. 

This season, we have not one, but two commercial airline pilots, a bad Nick Viall impersonator, some poor soul named Matt Donald, and a guy who refers to himself by his first, middle and last name. And no, his name isn’t John Wayne Gacy. 

I’m just mostly looking forward to one of them replacing Blake as the “most loved guy in Bachelor Nation.” He’s old news, and I’m over everyone being obsessed with him. I need some young bucks to join the mix.

Ok, let’s get to know these idiots: 

Brian, 30, Math Teacher

Brian + math puns = creepy.

Cam, 30, Software Sales

I just swiped left on Cam so fast I threw my phone out my building. I just know I will be pressing the mute button every time he comes on my screen.

Chasen, 27, Pilot

Do you know how to tell if a guy is a pilot right away? He’ll tell you.

Connor J., 28, Sales Manager

Connor is so boring that ABC described him as “the kind of guy your dad wants you to end up with.” I don’t read spoilers, but SPOILER ALERT: he’s going home night one.

Connor S., 24, Investment Analyst

I can look past the fact he’s one of those “i like to travel” guys. I can’t, however, look past the fact he was a college swimmer. Burn him at the stake. 

Daron, 25, IT Consultant

Daron is scared of spiders and likes a woman who can take charge. In short, he’s a little b*tch.

Devin, 27, Talent Manager

Devin is best friends with Wills so I guess I'll be nice to him. As they say: “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” 

Dustin, 30, Real Estate Broker

Personally, I’d rather eat the ashes of everyone I’ve ever loved than date someone who loves Tony Robbins.

Dylan, 24, Tech Entrepreneur

I’m pretty sure his occupation is code for “unemployed.”

Garrett, 27, Golf Pro

Garrett is from Birmingham, which is Hannah G.’s hometown. I’m assuming they know each other. All hot people who live in the same city flock together. It’s science. 

Grant, 30, Unemployed

From his bio: “Grant is the real-life ‘The Dude.’" Say no more, fam. I’m ready to kick him straight in the nuts, which sucks for him because he obviously has no health insurance.

Hunter, 24, Pro Surfer

YOU SURF. WE GET IT. NEXT.

Jed, 25, Singer/Songwriter

Jed is the bobble head, Kmart version of Thomas Rhett.

Joe, 30, The Box King

The “working man” from Chicago aesthetic ONLY works for attractive men with great smiles, aka Grocery Store Joe. The Box King needs to find a new slant.

Joey, 33, Finance Manager

Joey’s barber...you’re fired.

John Paul Jones, 24, Financial Analyst

Do you know the kind of people we reference using their first, middle and last names? Serial killers.

Jonathan, 27, Server

Jonathan is the perfect guy for you if you want someone who likes to masturbate in front of a full-length mirror.

Kevin, 27, Behavioral Health Specialist

Kevin has muscles. Kevin helps veterans. Kevin loves Harry Potter. Kevin “loves too hard.” Kevin has a small penis, probably.

Luke P., 24, Import/Export Manager

On a scale of 1-10 for having a punchable face, Luke is Ben Affleck.

Luke S., 29, Political Consultant

The highlight of Luke’s life is hitting on Em Rata and making her blush. Actually, that would be the highlight of my life too. 

Matt Donald, 26, Medical Device Salesman

His name is Matt Donald. He’s been through enough in life. I don’t feel like making it worse.

Matteo, 25, Management Consultant

Where to begin. I guess I’ll start with the fact he allegedly helped create 114 children as a sperm donor. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that’s not true. 

Matthew, 23, Car Bid Spotter

Matthew is in the family business of auctioning, but hopes to one day join his family’s winery business. What is the truth?

Mike, 31, Portfolio Manager

ABC just HAD to put that Mike has a lot of “swag” in his bio. He sounds like the perfect guy. Also this isn’t really a spoiler, but I saw his intro video and...his ass is pretty perfect too. Just sayin’.

Peter, 27, Pilot

Well, look what we have here: another pilot. Unfortunately, there can be only one. They must fight to the death.

Ryan, 25, Roller Boy

He was a roller boy. She said get a better hobby, boy.

Scott, 28, Software Sales Executive

“Scott is an admirer of Kris Jenner.” I mean, same. His picture still creeps me out, though.

Thomas, 27, International Pro Basketball Player

Ball is life.

Tyler C., 26, General Contractor

“Tyler LOVES to dance. He says his friends get embarrassed by how intense he gets on the dance floor, but he doesn't care.“ I love Tyler. He’s also like, the hotter version of Miles Teller. And I’m insanely attracted to Miles Teller, so I don’t know what to do with my feelings right now.

Tyler G. ,38, Psychology Graduate Student

Tyler follows a keto diet and likes to go to Soul Cycle. He’s essentially a 40-year-old trophy wife.

Prediction corner:

First impression rose: I already watched the first episode, so I’m skipping this one.

Final Rose: Garrett (Alabama birds flock together) 

My pick [for me]: Tyler C.

The Next Bachelor: Mike

This season’s villain: Luke. He has a very punchable face.

Most likely to get engaged on Bachelor In Paradise: John Paul Jones

#The bachelorette #alabama hannah #chris harrison #bachelorette contestants #abc #photo credit: ABC

[bts-trans]

[KOR/ENG LYRICS] 항상 (HANGSANG) by J-Hope Feat. Supreme Boi

Korean

항상 With my dawg, right 항상 With my thug, right 항상 With my dawg, right Smash on the street Smash on the street

When I’m cruisin’ down damn airport 내 친구들과 비행기 타고 Everyday i’m so turnt up with my boys Everyday i’m so turnt up with my dawg

항상 With my dawg, right 항상 With my thug, right 항상 With my dawg, right Smash on the street Smash on the street

우린 행복해 요즘에 누군 떼 버려 구찌 탭 누군 Kaws Toy 몇백 개 누군 살 집을 고민해 맞고 옳은 것만 우물 밖 보고 좋은 것만 떫은 이 판에 익은 것만 멋진 친구들과 멋진 것만

눈 뜨면 Red road (Walking Walking Walking) Top 셀럽들의 Call (Talking Talking Talking) 이 순간들은 다 항상 With my dawg 앞으로도 다 항상 With my thug 일곱 명에게 세상이 발맞춰 우린 같이 항상 항상 Turn up

항상 With my dawg, right 항상 With my thug, right 항상 With my dawg, right Smash on the street Smash on the street

When I’m cruisin’ down damn airport 내 친구들과 비행기 타고 Everyday i’m so turnt up with my boys Everyday i’m so turnt up with my dawg

항상 With my dawg, right 항상 With my thug, right 항상 With my dawg, right Smash on the street Smash on the street

Turn my swag, now I’m ballin on that worldwide Turn my swag, now my billin level hyped out 정상엔 나와 친구들이 와있지 Celebrate 파티해 매일같이 Hol up, 여긴 place of j-hope, man Hol up, 언제부터 여길 매입했어? 호발이형 killed them all the fake ass 나도 나도 나도 나도

눈뜰 때마다 매거진 1면에 오르네 차트 위에 전셋집을 얻은듯해 Haters better cop out Credit card chops like 가라데 챱챱 Me and my friend, 또 바꿔 트렌드세트 Hol up, man 이젠 너네가 뱁새 정상엔 나와 친구들이 와있지 BTS, ROCKBOTTOM yeah that’s my team

항상 With my dawg, right 항상 With my thug, right 항상 With my dawg, right Smash on the street Smash on the street

When I’m cruisin’ down damn airport 내 친구들과 비행기 타고 Everyday i’m so turnt up with my boys Everyday i’m so turnt up with my dawg

항상 With my dawg, right 항상 With my thug, right 항상 With my dawg, right Smash on the street Smash on the street

나만의 Rule로 내 Bro와 같이 나란히 걸어 데뷔 전부터 우리만 믿고 풍문은 거둬 모두 적이었고 우리 편은 아무도 없었어 그런 팀이 역전했어 이제 세계를 열어 Feel like 가라오케 불러 흔들어 Check it 전 세계가 원해 우린 18번 Make it 그저 꿈꾸는 대로 모두 현실이 됐지 이제 우리의 Turn 싹 다 쏴버려 Riches

정당성은 개 밥 밥 앞뒤 없이 왈 왈 개같이 당당 객기, 억지, 착각 부려대는 짬밥 그들에게 Pow Pow 우린 떳떳하게 앞 봐 이룬 기록, 상과 그들을 밟아 With ma Label 발판 With ma Fan 감사 With ma Team 항상

English

Always With my dawg, right Always With my thug, right Always With my dawg, right Smash on the street Smash on the street

When I’m cruisin’ down damn airport Riding on the airplane with my friends Everyday i’m so turnt up with my boys Everyday i’m so turnt up with my dawg

Always With my dawg, right Always With my thug, right Always With my dawg, right Smash on the street Smash on the street

Lately we’re happy One is tearing off the Gucci tab One has hundreds of Kaws Toys One is worrying over what house to live in Only correct and fitting things Only good things after seeing outside of the well* Only bitter things are cooked in this pan Only awesome things with awesome friends

When opening my eyes, Red road (Walking Walking Walking) Calls from the Top celebs (Talking Talking Talking) These moments are all Always With my dawg Even from now on all Always With my thug The world falls in step with seven people We’re together always always Turn up

Always With my dawg, right Always With my thug, right Always With my dawg, right Smash on the street Smash on the street

When I’m cruisin’ down damn airport Riding on the airplane with my friends Everyday i’m so turnt up with my boys Everyday i’m so turnt up with my dawg

Always With my dawg, right Always With my thug, right Always With my dawg, right Smash on the street Smash on the street

Turn my swag, now I’m balling on that worldwide Turn my swag, now my billin level hyped out At the peak, my friends and I are here Celebrate, partying, together everyday Hol up, this is the place of j-hope, man Hol up, since when did you purchase this? Hobalie-hyung** killed them all the fake ass Me too, me too, me too, me too

Whenever I open my eyes, appearing on the front cover of a magazine On the charts, like I got a rental house Haters better cop out Credit card chops like karate chop chop Me and my friend, again the trendsetting changes Hol up, man now you are the baepsae*** At the peak, my friends and I are here BTS, ROCKBOTTOM yeah that’s my team

Always With my dawg, right Always With my thug, right Always With my dawg, right Smash on the street Smash on the street

When I’m cruisin’ down damn airport Riding on the airplane with my friends Everyday i’m so turnt up with my boys Everyday i’m so turnt up with my dawg

Always With my dawg, right Always With my thug, right Always With my dawg, right Smash on the street Smash on the street

With my Rule and with my Bro We walk together side by side Even before debut we only believed in ourselves Put away the rumors Everything was an enemy On our side There was no one With that kind of team we turned the tables Now we open up the world Feel like karaoke Call out, shake Check it The entire world wants it Our 18th Make it Just like how we dreamed Everything became a reality Now it’s our Turn We shoot out everything, Riches

Justification is dog food food With no regard for order of things, bark bark Confident like a dog Bravado, against one’s will, misunderstanding Lording over the inexperienced To them, Pow Pow We honorably look forward Our achieved records and awards Step on them With ma Label, foothold With ma Fan, gratitude With ma Team Always

(T/N: *우물 밖/outside of the well= Referring to what is outside of the bubble a person is living in. **호발이형/Hobalie-hyung= One of J-Hope’s nicknames. ***뱁새/baepsae= Literally “crow-tit”; used to call someone who is ruining themselves by trying to copy/imitate others who are better than them.)

Trans cr; Soren / Spot Checker; Yein @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS

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