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bratzforchris · 15 days

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can you do one where chris has a gf who gets psychogenic fevers? thank you!

Masking

Summary: Autistic masking takes a lot out of you and leads to you running a psychogenic fever, but luckily for you, Chris is always right by your side to help you<3

Pairing: Chris x neurodivergentfem!reader

Warnings: Mentions of masking, autistic meltdown

Word Count: 1.5k

A/N: Thank you for the request! I actually experience psychogenic fevers myself (related to masking and burnout), so this was a very self-indulgent request :) For those of you that don't know, psychogenic fevers are stress related and psychosomatic. You can read this article for more info<3 Hate/ableism/etc will be blocked and deleted ♡ Enjoy!!

There were very few parts, if any, of your relationship with Chris that you didn’t like. Everything was absolutely perfect. Your boyfriend spoiled you rotten, taking great care to make sure you were okay physically, mentally, and emotionally, and always made sure to both accommodate and help you accommodate your disability. Chris never made you feel wrong, bad, or different for the way your brain worked. Quite the opposite, actually. However, there were things that even he couldn’t control for you.

Like today, for example. The morning had started off rather rocky, with Matt unintentionally finishing off the milk before you’d had your bowl of cereal. Frosted Flakes was one of your safe foods, and not being able to have them, along with getting out of your routine, had left you teary-eyed and anxious. The middle triplet had apologized profusely, and although you forgave him immediately, it still put you out of whack. Then, instead of your usual afternoon snuggle and stim time with Chris, you’d both been running around the house getting ready for the movie premiere the trio had been invited to this evening.

All of those events had led you to now, standing off in the corner of the ballroom that had been used for the afterparty, nursing a sweating glass of Sprite. You adored being Chris’ girlfriend, but sometimes all the things you had to attend as a plus one became exhausting, especially when you had to mask around all the people you didn’t know. You’d been suppressing your stimming all evening, as well as small talking with a variety of people without Chris by your side, and it was beginning to wear on you. You shivered, setting your drink down on a nearby tray and rubbing your arms, both as a stim and to warm yourself up. You supposed it was the thin, silky slip dress you had on, but for some reason you felt awfully cold.

In the wake of trying to warm yourself up, you hadn’t even noticed Chris appear by your side. “Hey ma,” he smiled, sipping his own drink. “I’ve barely seen you all night.”

You hummed softly, still trying to warm yourself up. “Is your jacket in the car?” You asked softly, wincing at the ache in your joints.

Chris studied you for a moment, assessing your quiet voice and shaking frame. “Are you okay? You’re not looking too good…” After being with you for nearly two years, your boyfriend could practically read you like a book, always being in tune with your moods and feelings. He also knew that you experienced psychogenic fevers, and that the lack of routine, as well as masking around a large group, probably wasn’t doing you any favors.

“I’m cold,” You mumbled. “I feel like I’m getting the flu or something but I don’t have a stuffy nose or anything.”

Had you been able to think more clearly, you would’ve realized that you were currently going through what was unfortunately a pretty common experience for you. You had started experiencing psychogenic fevers in high school, once the stress, combined with being neurodivergent, kicked in. They were usually low grade fevers and body aches that would come on during the night due to stress and anxiety and then be gone by the next morning, but they made you feel awful nonetheless.

Chris ran his thumb across your cheek softly, noting how you leaned into his touch like he was the last source of warmth on earth. “D’ya wanna go home, ma?” he asked gently. “You’ve got a fever, babe.”

You looked up at your boyfriend as tears collected on your lash line. “Oh…I guess I should’ve realized…” You mumbled, the thought of why you were feeling terrible finally kicking in. “We don’t have to go, though. I’ll be alright. Enjoy the party.” You tried to smile, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes.

“Sweetheart, there’s no way I’m gonna let you just sit here all stressed and burning up. This party’s shit, anyway. Stay here, ‘kay? I’m gonna go get Matt and Nick.”

You felt your heart swell as you watched Chris walk away. Despite his assurance, you knew how much your boyfriend loved parties, and the fact that he was willingly leaving one for you made you want to cry. You curled into yourself as much as possible on the small couch next to you while you waited for the triplets. All you wanted at this point was a hot bath and for Chris to hold you.

⊹ ࣪ ˖

The next thing you knew, Chris was gently shaking your shoulder, brushing your bangs off your forehead. “Ma, come on, honey. We’re going home.”

You sleepily blinked open your eyes, realizing you had fallen asleep in the time it had taken for Chris to find Matt and Nick. “Oh…I didn’t realize I had fallen asleep.”

Chris smiled softly, while Nick looked on worriedly. “Matt’s getting the car.” he explained at your confusion to only seeing two-thirds of the triplets.

Your boyfriend helped you up gently, leading you by the arm towards the exit while Nick shielded you from onlookers’ eyes protectively. Had Chris had his choice, he would’ve carried you, but he didn’t want to completely embarrass you, nor did he want photos of you not feeling well circling around social media. You shivered when the three of you stepped out into the cool night air, whimpering softly.

Chris helped you into the car, where Matt was idling at the curb. You immediately grabbed his hoodie from the front seat, pulling it over your shaking frame. “I’m cold.” You whispered.

Your boyfriend caressed you in a tight hug as well as he could with his own seatbelt, holding you close so that you could feel his body heat as Matt sped home. By the time the car had pulled up outside of your shared LA home, you were practically asleep, your aches and pains making you miserable. Chris gently shuffled you inside, leading you upstairs to the bedroom.

“Do you want a hot shower, ma?” he asked you softly, helping you remove your earrings and necklaces.

You shook your head, feeling too fatigued to do much else other than cuddle under the covers. Chris seemed to understand, continuing to help you undress with a soft smile on his face. In his eyes, you always looked like a goddess, no matter how sick or tired you felt. You sighed softly once you were dressed in a much more comfortable outfit that consisted of one of your boyfriend’s soft, big shirts and some cozy pajama pants.

The brunette kissed your forehead with a soft ‘be right back’ as you snuggled up under your soft duvet. You laid across Chris’ pillow while you waited, breathing in his soft, boyish scent. Before you knew it, your boyfriend returned with a handful of medical supplies in one arm and a warm, wet rag in the other. Chris used the washcloth to gently remove your makeup, pressing kisses to your fevered skin as he did so.

“Do you know what brought this on?” Chris whispered gently, sitting beside you.

He had a pretty good idea of what had brought on this stress-induced fever, but he wanted to give you a chance to voice your feelings first. You rolled over, sniffling softly and pressing your face into his thigh as you tried to voice your concerns. Despite being home and in bed, you still felt the stress of being out of your routine and masking wearing on you.

“Not right now? I’m too tired…” You mumbled, a sniffle escaping you.

“Okay, ma. That’s okay. Let’s take your temperature, okay?” Chris gently grabbed the thermometer off the nightstand, gently sticking it under your tongue while he caressed your cheek. “100.3 (37.9 C). Not too bad, but enough to make you pretty miserable, huh?”

You just nodded sadly as Chris passed you some Tylenol and a water bottle. You downed the medicine quickly, shuddering at the bitter taste in your mouth. Your boyfriend easily helped you lay back down, pulling you into his chest as he spooned you. Instead of focusing on the pain you felt, you snuggled into Chris, realizing that this was the routine you had been craving all day.

You and Chris would always spoon at night before you went to bed, talking about everything and nothing while huddled up under the weighted blanket that had been placed on the bed at your request. Tonight, Chris didn’t pressure you to speak. Instead, he mumbled little things about how strong and beautiful you were, how he hoped you felt better soon, and how much he adored you while he traced little shapes onto the soft skin of your arm.

Despite your pain, you felt yourself becoming less tense. You knew your fever probably wouldn’t go away until tomorrow morning, and that you would need lots of routine and special interest time to get yourself back to fully normal, but for now, you enjoyed the brunette's soft hold, relishing the way it made your body feel perfectly aligned after a day of overwhelm.

It was much easier for you to fall asleep than you had anticipated, the combination of Chris’ snuggles and the medicine working its magic lulling you to sleep. By the time you woke up the next morning, your temperature was back to normal and you made sure to shower your lovely boyfriend with affection for what a great nurse he had been.

tags ♡: @jake-and-johnnies-slut @chrissfavwh3re @suyqa @chrissturnswife @mbsbaby @herxysc-blog @lovingchrissposts @caffeinatedscorpio @spencereidenthusiast @crazychrisl0v3r @sturnioloxlver @whicked-hazlatwhore @blahbel668 @sturncakez @junnniiieee07 @biggesthat3r @sturniolowhore @patscorner @julesgrl @0strawberrysorbet0 @strombolilovr @matt444nixi @remussbitch @devthepoet1221 @mattyblover07 @loisnotaa @mollyquinnxoxo @graysturns @pepsicolapussy333 @ginswife @emmagirouard @athaliahxoxo @bitchydragonparadise @ilydeaky @soggyslugg169 @m00n-0n-paws @books0fever @stingerayyy2 @sunsetsturniolos @mimi-luvzyu @raysmayhem-72 @faygo-frog @oobleoob @billsslutt @aemrsy

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danses-with-dogmeat · 7 months

Text

Day 8 -- Legate Lanius

The (nsfw) details for Kinktober, Day 8 are just below the cut!

Minors, please don’t interact.

Breeding with Legate Lanius x F!Six

Ahem.......

Yeah, I'm so sorry. This is utter filth and depravity. It's everything wrong with the Legion and Lanius, it's awful, I don't know what possesses me with these horrible Legion guys, honestly, it just... Ugh.

I hope you like it though, it's definitely quite filthy, but I know there's at least a couple of you out there who are into that 👀 so this one's for you!

(just an FYI, if you liked my Vulpes kinktober work from last year, this is pretty similar.)

PLEASE read ALL of the Included on this one... it's a doozy and it's full of trigger warnings!

Here is the link to the Kinktober 2023 Event List so you can stay up-to-date, or re-visit these works as you please.

Included: Breeding, Master/Slave, noncon/marital rape, thoughts of suicide, abusive relationship, blow jobs, misogyny, legion bullshit, one (1) face slap, sexual slavery, regular slavery, mating press, size kink, large cock, penis in vagina sex, painful sex, cervix bullying, creampie, cockwarming, SUPER toxic man and relationship. Lil bit of Stockholm syndrome.

Words: 4.1k

Six thought back sometimes, to how different things might’ve been… Maybe if she’d listened to House, or Yes Man, if the NCR had been more wary, had been more prepared, if she’d gathered more allies, then maybe… Maybe things could be different than they are now, with the Legion in control.

It hadn’t surprised her all that much when the Legate had chosen her to be his wife.

Wife… odd how anyone could call her that, when the true nature of their relationship was as far from a happy marriage as two people could get. He must’ve chosen her for that reason, Six thought, as she let out another huff of air just before entering their tent, before opening the flaps and allowing the large sack of supplies to drop to the dusty ground below.

I’ll have to sweep in here before he returns. No matter how often I do it though… Dammit, but the sand always seems to come back in the span of five whole minutes. It was never-ending.

Lanius must’ve picked her just to make her suffer. To make her regret ever trying to stand up to The Legion, ever even attempting to resist him. It made Six's stomach churn as she thought back on his victory, to the night after, when bloodlust ran thick and hot in the air and The Legion staked its full, violent, unopposed claim on the Mojave.

She was glad she could only remember bits and pieces, her mind having blocked out the majority of it defensively.

“Wife.”

Lanius’s booming voice rang out behind her as Six unloaded the pack of supplies. How such a massive man managed to move so quietly, she’ll never know, but she's grown used to it. That, and many, many other aspects of her new reality.

“Master.” She turned and immediately kneeled before him. As was customary.

The Legion and their customs… they weren’t to be taken lightly. Six had realized that early on too. To disrespect their traditions is to disrespect Caesar himself, which-- as is known among all within the faction-- is unthinkable.

Resisting, as well, as Six had tried for so long… it was futile. Another form of disrespect that earned her more than a few permanent marks upon her skin, and as much as she'd like to think otherwise, it always amounted to nothing.

She never thought she'd come to regret fighting back against a man so villainous and detestable as Lanius was, but when it only ever meant pain and humiliation, when it meant a sort of suffering that her past self couldn't even comprehend... Six wondered how she ever thought her defiance could mean something.

If her time here had taught her anything, it was that it hadn't. Her struggles, her misery, her wounds both mental and physical, they didn't make her stronger, they only weakened her empathy, her resolve, and any chance she had to hope.

Escaping this hell maybe wasn’t completely out of the question, though. That sole belief was all that remained of her previous optimism, all that had survived the purge of her noble convictions.

If not... If there was no escape; however, then there was nothing for her at all. The only thing left to hope for was a swift death at the hands of those who captured her.

“Well?”

Six blinked up at her husband, her neck craning as she remained kneeling down in his broad shadow on the sandy floor. He didn’t like repeating himself, she knew, but unfortunately, this often happened.

“Lost in thought again, pet?”

“Yes, master.” Six hung her head as she spoke, showcasing her shame at her failure to attend to him, as was expected. As she knew.

“Hmph.” Lanius's grunt left him like a lead barrel from a cannon, making her flinch. “And what have I told you about that? Thinking… For a woman in your position. It’s dangerous.”

“I know. I’m sorry, master. I should focus on my duties.”

The words left her so easily now. Ones that used to feel like burning, heavy, molten steel as they were forced painfully out of her throat. But she’d been taught the lesson too many times now.

She would obey. She would be his perfect little slave, until the time came that he could trust her. She only hoped that came before–

“Well, if you’d been listening, you’d know what I require from you. What time it is.”

“Yes, master. Of course.” Her voice grew instinctually smaller. “I live to serve you.”

An appreciative hum left him, and though it shouldn’t have, his approval sent warmth to pool within Six’s belly.

“Here, then, wife.” He moved to take a heavy seat in the desk chair near their bed roll, and began to remove his mask.

Six was careful to look away as he did this.

As his wife, she was glad that he had decided not to blind her, like he had so many other slaves, to keep his face a secret from any and all eyes who may seek to question the story of his past. With Six though, he had simply told her to look away from his face. Always.

And she did... whenever he was awake to see, that is. Six had seen him now; though, more times than she could count, and she knew the truth of his past merely from the lack of scarring there. Yet, even still, she never broke the habit of averting her gaze. He need never know the truth of her disobedience.

Next, she heard the clinking of the decorative belt over Lanius's tunic as he removed it, and set it upon the desk beside him.

No armor today. She’d noted when he was gone this morning, knowing it meant he’d be back earlier than usual, that she would be subjected to his torments well before the sun went down.

Their marriage did have its... routines in that way, so maybe… Maybe it wasn’t a complete sham.

But she couldn’t think that way. Not if she ever wanted to get out of here with her mind intact.

Her body never would be, Six knew. Not with the marks upon her, the brand seared into her skin, not with everything Lanius has taken from her. But that didn’t mean that– one day– she couldn’t at least be partially free of him.

At least in her mind, one day she wouldn't have to consider his every move, fear the times his voice rang out, cringe under his cruel touch. There would be a day, she hoped, when his voice didn't rule in her head as it had out in the world now, for so long; suggesting, reprimanding, praising her only when she did exactly as he'd demanded, and scolding her harshly when she slipped up, berating her, when she spoke out-- or even thought of opposing him.

Six moved towards her husband now, not wanting to upset him with her lack of haste. She crawled on the still-sandy floor, feeling the roughness dig into her knees and the palms of her hands before she reached the space between his spread legs. It was there she settled on her knees, with her gaze drawn down to the floor, her hands folded neatly in her lap, and waited for his instruction.

Lanius stood up, not bothering to tell her to move back as his clothed crotch pressed to her face, and removed his tunic from over his head.

He was fully bare beneath it, but she refused to let her eyes wander over his large, muscular form, refused to let her gaze focus in on his broad member, where it was surely beginning to stand at attention between his huge thighs, where she could feel the undeniable heat coming off of his skin from right in front of her. Six was glad though, that now she knew him-- his form-- well enough not to have that fear spike through her at the mere thought of having someone so substantial inside her.

Lanius settled back in his chair, his meaty hands spilling over the sides of the armrests, and she knew the word he would speak before his mouth even opened.

“Begin.”

At that, Six leaned forward, feigning eagerness as her hands swiftly wrapped around the overwhelming girth of his manhood. Even half-hard, like he was, Lanius was more than well-endowed. It was like he'd been created specifically to instill pain in the bodies of those he was close to; to her, in particular.

There was more than one reason all of the other slaves were terrified of him, but this… this likely was the main one. This, or his infamous temper.

Both traits often reminded her how lucky she was to be the Legate's wife.

With one hand, it was impossible for Six's fingers to wrap fully around him, and even with two, it was startling how difficult it was to do so, but as she said before, the courier had grown used to it by now.

Her body had re-shaped itself to accommodate him, much like her mind had had to re-form with this new lifestyle.

It truly did put things in perspective.

Her mind continued to wander, as it often did, as she set her mouth upon him. Her tongue laved over the length of his shaft, working from base to tip as her hands followed suit, stroking rhythmically until she’d spread the moisture of her spit over the whole of him. Then, she directed his broad, darkening cockhead between her lips, and began to ease it inside. Lanius’s breath picked up from above her, and her eyes watched as his stomach swelled and deflated, as she worked him over with her obedient, worshipful lips and tongue.

He was often silent through most of their trysts, and Six didn’t much mind it. She figured he liked to hear her, but only a ‘tasteful amount’ as he’d once put it. He didn’t like when she squealed and whined like an inexperienced slave, it only got him mad.

God…

Thoughts like that reminded her that Lanius truly was the worst scum she’d ever had the displeasure to meet, and now… Now she was used to him. Now she heard his sighs, his hums of approval and they made her unwillingly giddy, now she obeyed him without question, she apologized for thinking, she let him debase her this way, without qualm or complaint.

I really am losing it.

A light smack against her cheek had Six jolting from the sudden pain.

“Stop thinking.” He growled down at her, and Six pulled her mouth away briefly as her hands continued stroking over him.

“Yes, master. I apologize.”

“Don’t care if you’re sorry, pet. Don’t let me catch you again.” The edge in his deep voice sent a chill through her body, and she nodded as she set her attentions back on his cock.

Six was more intentional this time, making efforts to run her tongue over him just the way she knew he enjoyed, sucking and hollowing her cheeks until they ached from the pressure. For a moment, she pulled her hands away, taking him as far down her throat as she could without gagging, and shimmied the top of her slave rags down to her waist, unveiling her breasts to his gaze.

Another hum of approval, and Six felt wetness pooling between her thighs.

She tried not to think about it.

Her hands returned to their work, running over the remaining half of his shaft she couldn’t fit down her throat; though, she tried. For him, Six always tried.

She had to.

Each forward bob of her head, and she took his massive cock a fraction deeper, and felt her eyes water as she began to gag with the movement.

Six was rewarded for her efforts, though, with a light buck of Lanius’s hips that jammed him into the very back wall of her esophagus. His generous way of appreciating her actions.

As her lips made it steadily further up his shaft , one hand tucked down between his legs, running over the inside of his meaty thigh and taking his heavy balls in-hand. They pulsed against her touch, hot and wanting as she methodically massaged them with careful, diligent fingers.

Another soft grunt told her he approved of that action as well.

She hated that she knew his preferences better than her own these days. Hated that she committed details-- like the sounds he made, the feeling of him, the signals of his body-- to memory in order to better please him.

I may not feel like his wife, but I'm most certainly his slave.

All she had to ask herself now was... which was worse?

Lanius soon reached full hardness form her efforts, his balls now twitching and tightening where her palm worked them over, his length stiff as a rock as he filled her throat to capacity over and over.

Tears pricked at Six's eyes, drool ran down her bulging neck and she felt that draining wetness drip down over her jostling breasts as their combined actions grew messier, less rhythmic, more aggressive.

“Off.” Lanius finally said, his voice only a bit strained, as one hand grasped at the fuzzy scalp of Six's buzzed head and pushed her back and suddenly off of him. She gagged again, at the rapid drag of his cock against the walls of her esophagus, but released him without preamble, and only a couple of coughs.

“Down. On the bedroll.”

His rough voice commanded as she tried to catch her breath, Six hadn't realized in the moment how much she’d had to hold it to keep him so deep in her throat-- how long she'd been holding her breath in order to bring him unwilling pleasure.

“H-how would you like me, master?” It came out as little more than a croak, and she heard what she could only guess was a prideful scoff at the sound of her struggle.

“What am I doing to you, pet?”

Six gulped, her blood running cold in her veins at his question.

“B-breeding me, master.”

And he had been trying, for the past two months. She’s been lucky so far, still able to keep thoughts of escape in her head without the added obstacle of pregnancy. But Lanius was growing impatient. Like any respectable man in the Legion, he craved male heirs, and if she couldn’t provide…

“Then you should know. Use those thoughts of yours to serve, slave.”

“Yes, master.”

Six didn’t allow herself to get too caught up in her worries. As it was, she already had enough fear coursing through her body at any given time. She couldn't give in to that possibility, couldn't lose even more of that last hope she clung to so desperately that it left blisters on her hands and lacerations in her muscles, fractures in her bones. She needed that last hope, or she surely would never be free again.

Six crawled over to the bedroll as Lanius stood up, his cock now shining with her spit and jutting proudly outward, as much as the hefty weight of it would allow.

She felt like it was threatening her, just with its mere presence in this tent, attached to the intimidating body and cruel mind of her husband.

Arranging herself onto her back, Six set her hands beneath her thighs, pulling them up and towards her chest in a traditional mating press.

In preparation.

Lanius grunted his approval of her position, at the ease in which she fell into it. After months of hardship and intense training, now she was almost docile.

It's what I need him to believe. Six told herself firmly as she relented to his every word without an ounce left of hesitation.

One of Lanius's large hands crept down to slot around his cock as he approached, giving it a few quick jerks as he settled onto his knees in front of her well-presented pussy.

“Wet for me?” He asked, almost cheekily. Obviously knowing the answer, since he was looking directly between her legs as he touched himself.

“Always, master.”

Six felt the broad tip of his cock nestle between her slickened folds as she continued avoiding his visage, staring up at the cloth ceiling of their shared tent instead, noting the way it gave with the breeze outside, the way the light of the setting sun seemed to set it ablaze.

If only.

“Good.” Lanius growled, interrupting her thoughts for the hundredth time, and with one immediate, unforgiving thrust, he slotted the whole of him inside her.

That too, was a habit of his.

Lanius was an impatient man, and he would never debase himself by easing politely into one of his slaves. They were meant for this treatment, it was their most important duty, a product of their nature. Their bodies had to take him, and Six’s most of all.

Still though, as accustomed as she was to having him inside her, filling her up to the brim so suddenly like this, she couldn't stifle her gasp at the painful intrusion. He gave her no time to adjust, either. Again, the issue of patience, of courtesy towards her; it drove him to set a fast and aggressive pace into her body right away, lest he be taken for soft, kind, or sympathetic.

God forbid. Six thought with a grimace, feeling tears wet her eyes again as he bruisingly reached the very back of her, and then pulled away until he’d fully left her. Already, she was sore and gaping from his attentions, but he paid her clenched jaw and pained expression no mind as he pressed back in to the hilt. Lanius always did this a few times first, tearing her walls open for him, shaping her entrance to his girth, pressing far enough inside to nudge her cervix painfully, to remind her where he was meant to pour his seed, where it was meant to stay and take root in her womb.

His womb. Her broken mind reminded her, even in the midst of his assault, for all of me belongs to him now.

Though it wasn’t true, Six knew it wasn’t true, that she was her own person… It felt like it just about now. With him pile-driving into her, forcing her body to yield to his will, forcing both pain and pleasure upon her traitorous physical form all at once.

It hurt, he always hurt inside her. He wasn’t the kind of man she could ever be truly used to. He was just so much larger, so rough and selfish; but what pained her even more was how she responded to him. Her body complied with his dominance over her, submitting to his will, growing wet from it, her own slick making it easier to pound into her and claim her as his every damn night. Any time he chose.

Strained little grunts left her with each savage lurch into her body and Six’s legs began to burn at the stretch of holding them up, but finally, she felt a small sense of relief as Lanius unbraced his arms and let his body lay fully overtop hers.

That meant he was a little closer, at least. He was finished pulling out of her completely now, instead opting to jam the entirety of his cock as far inside as it would go, straining the back wall of her cervix and making her feel like the end of him was in her throat. His heavy-laden balls pressed firmly to her ass, their fullness flexing as she felt his length twitch inside her, as she could see the distinct bulge of him pulsing and jutting out the skin of her belly.

Now that her husband was settled over her, his weight crushing her body into the hard ground below, his broad shoulders forcing her legs wide apart, and high up until her feet were well over her head, he shimmied his hips, ensuring his tip was nestled painfully against the very back of her, and began to thrust anew.

Lanius was hardly pulling out of her now, just cruelly jabbing his cockhead against the opening of her cervix over and over again, without respite.

With that, Six couldn’t help it. The pain was blinding, was aching to the point of intense nausea, and she began to shout aloud at the overwhelming feeling, the way the nerves lit up her spine and belly with immensely uncomfortable pressure. Without the conscious decision to do so, she began to struggle, but Lanius’s substantial body weight held her firmly down and in place as he continued his brutal assault.

“Since you seem u-unable to quicken from my seed," He grunted out, his voice heavy and deep with arousal. "This action is necessary, wife.”

Six only let out another yell in response, her throat already sore and straining after his earlier abuse, as he ruthlessly ground into her again.

“Siri assured me. Your body will yield." Lanius growled, as though her womb could hear him. As though he could intimidate that into submission, too. "It has no choice. I will barricade its final defenses, and hear me now, slave. It. Will. Yield.”

“Y-yes, master.” Uncontrollably, Six was beginning to sob now, the pain of his abuse making her sweat and writhe and flinch all at once as he took her, as he drove into her with the force of the siege weapon he was likening himself to.

“You are mine.” He punctuated the words with a series of wild thrusts, his pace growing more unsteady, more unbridled with every passing moment.

“My wife.” He thrust forward with a grunt, and Six saw black dotting her vision, felt like there wasn't enough air in the world to be able to fill her straining lungs.

“My slave.” He growled, and his cock gave a notable throb within her very depths.

“Mine!” Lanius roared through gritted teeth, his hips merely flexing rapidly now, no longer bothering to pull out at all. The head of his cock bullied her cervix relentlessly, forcing the miniscule opening as wide as physically possible with his fruitless hope of penetrating this last, unsullied orifice until; finally, his balls tightened against the swell of her ass, and he shouted out his explosive release.

Six still sobbed as she struggled to keep her legs up, allowing– encouraging, even– his body’s assault of her innermost place as it did as he demanded and yielded to him.

Warmth spread within her as her husband shuddered and twitched, pouring his spend against the mouth of her womb in forceful, overwhelming spurts. He filled her up easily, the size of him forcing some of his cum out to drizzle down the crack of her ass as he completely overloaded her depths with his claiming seed.

Finally, one last notable flex of his cock, one final buck of his hips into her, and the very last of his release emptied inside.

She actually felt heavier, as Lanius laid inside her, keeping his seed plugged within as he breathed heavily and came down from his high.

Six wasn’t sure if she came or not, she knew Siri recommended that as well, to increase odds of pregnancy, but most legionaries scoffed in her face at the notion. With Lanius, he wasn’t one to actively deny her-- women were meant to take pleasure in serving their masters, he believed-- but he would never go out of his way to pull one from her.

Either way though, her body felt like lifeless jelly beneath him. Her insides ached and protested at his persisting presence, at the continuing, aching pressure against her tired, defeated cervix, but at least… At least it was over now.

For now. Her mind corrected.

Obediently, Six held onto her thighs, remaining completely still as he laid above her and still within her, willing his cum to do it's duty within. Slowly, his substantial cock began to deflate, and the pressure against her walls eased a bit, allowing her to finally breathe properly.

“Your body,” Lanius panted out, making sure to keep his length still inside her as he sat up, bracing both hands on either side of her head. “It will yield to me. Do you understand?”

“Yes, master, I understand.” Six answered him quickly, her voice so weak now, it hardly came out as a squeak.

“Good. Because if it doesn’t, this,” He bucked his hips forward for emphasis, causing sparks to fly over her vision from the pain, “Will be your reality until it does. This, or something worse.”

Finally, her husband pulled out completely, leaving her gaping and sore beyond reason as he stood to grab a towel from the dresser.

“You understand?” Six vacantly heard him prompt as blackness threatened to overtake her vision.

“Yes, of course, master.” She managed out with an aching twinge in her chest, as she stayed still-- like he'd demanded-- and darkness overtook her. “I will yield to you, always.”

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brightside-of-the-upsidedown · 8 months

Text

youtube

This song makes me think if Steve lost his mom and when his dad remarried, they moved to Hawkins, and Steve became King Steve. Maybe someone finds the lyrics he drops.

Eight years old and he's kicking and screaming

"I'll only go to school if you give me a reason

The kids are really mean and I already know

All the things they're teaching"

Hopped in the car, mama let him play hooky

Missed the first hour just to get a cup of coffee

She's the only one who saw who he was

No one else could read him

Showing up late but he makes it to class

Just to stare out the window and the clock in the back

He daydreamed away to a sky so gray

Everything's simple, it's driving him mental

Wishing everyday that something would change

Instead his dad makes him play ball by the bay

And every time he cries, father rolls his eyes, saying

"Son it's all your fault, how come you never try?"

He does all that he should

Why is he misunderstood?

This is a story 'bout a broken boy

With his headphones in just to block out the noise

Of everyone around him telling him the way to go

So he walks the world alone

Wondering if it gets better

Or if he's always gonna feel empty forever

So he gets lost tryna find another way back home

As he walks the world alone

15 years and he's drowning his sorrows

Smoking weed, drinking cheap liquor out the bottle

With a bunch of fake friends 'cause he tried to fit in

But it wasn't working

Ran in with the law 'bout a dozen of times

Nothing too bad, just a few suburban crimes

Still he says to himself

"What are you doing, you don't deserve this

Don't you know nobody will ever understand

The person that you are, learn to hold your own hand

Get your shit together and lose the weight

You'll never be what you want, no, not with that face"

He started writing all of his thoughts on paper,

Realized music made life so much greater

A hundred pounds down, he looks so different now

As he plans his escape from a crooked hometown

He does all that he should

Why is he misunderstood?

This is a story 'bout a broken boy

With his headphones in just to block out the noise

Of everyone around him telling him the way to go

So he walks the world alone

Wondering if it gets better

Or if he's always gonna feel empty forever

So he gets lost tryna find another way back home

As he walks the world alo-o-o-o-o-o-one

Alo-o-o-o-o-o-one

Alo-o-o-o-o-o-ooone

21 years and he's on the right path

But sometimes he wonders if he grew up too fast

And missed out on the little things

All of the little things (haha, yeah right)

Who is he kidding? Surely not himself

But sometimes he wonders if there's somebody else

Who takes the same road but he'll never know

'Cause he walks the world alone

This is a story 'bout a broken boy

With his headphones in just to block out the noise

Of everyone around him telling him the way to go

So he walks the world alone

Wondering if it gets better

Or if he's always gonna feel empty forever

So he gets lost tryna find another way back home

As he walks the world alo-o-o-o-o-o-one

Alo-o-o-o-o-o-one (Does it get better? Does it get better?)

Alo-o-o-o-o-o-ooone

As he walks the world alo-o-o-o-o-o-one

Alo-o-o-o-o-o-one

Alo-o-o-o-o-o-ooone (So alone)

Yeah, he walks the world alone

#harle hums #steve harrington #harringrove #steddie #stranger things #metalsandwich #Youtube

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celiaelise · 3 months

Text

It just sucks bc I think my parents tried really, really hard not to fuck me up with their divorce. Like, aside from my mother's glaring mental issues, (which were the main reason for the split, and would have majorly impacted me no matter what) I think they both did everything as "right" as they possibly could.

They didn't ever argue in front of me. They worked out a custody agreement that didn't make me feel like I was being bounced around, and still both made time to see me and make sure I knew how important I was to them. They explained things to me so I understood as well as I possibly could. I don't think there's really anything they could have done better.

But the fact remains that it did fuck me up. Irrevocably and unquestionably.

I think it was mostly just that I was four years old! I didn't really understand what a marriage or a divorce was, just that my Daddy was leaving our house. I remember feeling shocked when he drove away, even though I'd known it was happening, and desperation, even though I knew I'd see him again within a few days. I ran and hid and cried, the most uninhibited I can ever remember being.

(My mom still blames him for hurting me like that, but I can't, not when I know I'd leave her, too.)

To this day, I don't argue with or disobey my father. A couple years ago I found myself getting annoyed with him, and literally thought, "wait, stop. I'm not allowed to get angry with him." (I've rarely been so shocked by my own thoughts.) I can't help but wonder if the block on those actions was put there because "he could leave us again".

(Even though I know it would tear him up to know it ever felt like he did. He grew up without a father and he never wanted that for me, he tried to make me understand he wasn't leaving me, never would, and I thought I understood, but I just couldn't. He said he wasn't leaving me, but I watched it happen.)

Anyway, for a while now, I've considered myself to have been born with my anxiety disorder, but today it occurred to me that I may not have displayed symptoms before they split. And...that's kind of fucking me up, tbh. And I don't feel like I can ask either of them if they noticed a change in my personality or behavior, because that feels like an accusation.

I guess it's jarring to consider that something that is such an integral part of me but also, like, my greatest obstacle could possibly have been avoided. Like, of course it's pointless to consider "what ifs", and I doubt I would've turned out much differently anyway, and, like I said, I'm not sure there's anything I would've had them do differently. But it still feels weird.

I think I'm envious of my brother, for having only been one year old, and not having understood the norm well enough to know that it had been disrupted.

#hiiii I'm very tired and apparently emo this evening!#my life #my family #fathers #divorce #children of divorce #my feelings #trauma #anxiety #by elise

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m-r-levine · 7 months

Text

On Interruptions of Flow

Blocks used to be just part of the normal cycles of work and rest and refilling the well, the rhythms of moving between projects. (I won’t deny the good feelings and brain juices from feedback on the work, but it was never the driving force. I treasure comments like a dragon treasures their hoarde, but the urge to write and the pleasure of storytelling are not primarily or even secondarily grounded in the reception of the work.)

In the last few years, that changed. I don’t know if this was a true cause or if it was just one little part of a whole system of events that led to my creative process breaking down, but.

In 2019, I dropped all my other projects to meet an absurd deadline for a zine piece, and then for various reasons, a month later I took that story to pieces to see if an actual novel length concept might be hidden in there**.

Meanwhile, some fairly major things were going on in my personal life, and the tremors were getting markedly worse.

Suddenly I didn’t have blocks of time or steadiness of hand to paint either, except for pushing through for a couple of excruciating outstanding commissions, and struggling to wrap up the second volume of the graphic novel. Yet even with a few of those deadlines dealt with I could no longer make words go on any other project. I tried everything in the toolbox to get the brain going again, especially after a side effect of quarantine gave back my former 3+ hours daily commute time.

Finishing the renovations on the old house ate almost everything I had to give, and my partner’s mental health struggles took the rest. I cannot begin to explain to you just how few spoons I have had between the boring job (which became much more intense with the effects of the pandemic) and Life™️.

Previously, writing and sketching helped me unwind and ground after a shift, or even during breaks. In the last few years though…

Words came slowly for La Mala Suerte, but opening any other story filled my brain with static noises. I could not string basic sentences together. I could not outline plot, I had no fragments of dialogue or vignettes fall into my head like before. When I ran out of backlog to post… Suddenly I had nothing.

Short stretches being dry like that are familiar enough, but days and weeks turned into months and years of desperately wanting to tell the stories and in the few moments of quiet I could steal away? Nothing. It’s an eerie feeling, having the vivid and even visceral scenes that are already written and outlined still looping in my head, screaming to get out, but the moment I try to write connective tissue? Right back to tv snow.

Unlike painting, my writing is accessible everywhere I go, even when it hurts to hold a pen - being able to get ‘lost’ in stories helped me through some incredibly hard times in the past, and losing that ability was devastating. The disappointment and yes, the shame of being adrift and wordless has been wretched. I have longed for the elation I used to find on the other side of a hard passage, the joy of solving the puzzle and freeing the spirit from the proverbial stone.

I still don’t entirely understand what happened in my brain that autumn of 2019… I just know that something changed, and we’re still not… entirely back from it. I am suspecting that Long Covid is now part of it - that was summer of ‘21 though, and I was already firmly lodged in The Block by then.

Maybe it was just one a longer but still normal drought and needing recovery time from intensely brain-heavy Life Events™️ until that extra layer was added? I truly don’t know. I don’t know if it matters either, except in that I am deeply afraid I will lose it again.

Anyway, that’s the ramble for the afternoon on the writing side. Hopefully the Boring Job leaves me some braincells to work on asks and stuff later.

* caveat: Except for the fact some truly wretched negative/judgy feedback can entirely poison the affected work for me and make it impossible to get forward motion(Obsidian Slipper is one such victim, I may talk about it more later.)

** hola Teca. 😒

#studiorat rambles #writeblr #writer problems #writing process

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openly-journaling · 2 years

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Bobby: 8/11/2022

Last night was absolutely horrible and caused me another split. It started out nice and everything for awhile.

We were playing genshin and ran into a couple. Eventually it got to talking about systems. Now I am not good at explaining things (I told them this and even said I could get them someone who could better explain these things) and I was being bombarded with questions I am not good at giving answers to so this got out of hand quickly.

Before the system talk I explained about how I met the person (who is currently my fiance now) when they was 17. We WERE NOT DATING AT THIS TIME.

A FEW MONTHS AFTERRRRRR she turned 18 our systems ended up dating each other. They decided to put words in my mouth and say I waited for her to turn 18. No??? That's just gross on so many levels like pedophilia with extra steps. I didn't even catch feelings for them until awhile after they turned 18.

Then they went on to attack me over endo systems and not just endo systems but being a system in general. Saying that because we're 23 and already at the amount of headmates we're at that we're absolutely delusional and don't exist and we should be in the mental hospital for this shit.

Then told us the person who diagnosed us should be imprisoned for not having forced us to take meds. We refuse because we DO NOT TRUST MEDICATION due to our own traumas with it and we've found so many ways to cope as we are.

And we're perfectly fine like that. Then they said we're clearly faking or something because something about controlling who fronts. We CANNOT always control who fronts especially in high stress situations.

And even just assuming that endos weren't real (I do believe endos are valid, just an example) or we're all delusional or something, it is NOT right for anyone to tell you what your experiences are like they know you and they know how you're supposed to work, even as a system.

They tried gaslighting us and interrupted us and raised their voice at us and then told us we were clearly being sketchy or something when we got the same way and worked to defend ourselves.

I ended up blocking them both and broke down crying afterwards and it caused me to split. I was already in such a depressive state of mind (note to my last post) and that didn't make it any easier.

I ALREADY question if we aren't delusional or real, I already question so much about things but it just.. hurt. Seriously what do people gain from putting others down and going this fucking far with it? It's hard enough being a system. And the age old "are we in any danger?" Question. Like wtf no??? Yeah some system mates have been quite horrible especially in their lives but that doesn't mean they'd act out HERE in the ways they used to.

When putting things through text it's easier to deal with because nobody is shutting you down or screaming in your face about how they're right and you're wrong. It's all in text but vc was just.. way different.

And yes we prefer to be up front about our system despite the risks like these. Though this is the first time something this bad has even happened to us. And it's making me WANT to be more cautious but there's a reason we're up front.

We're tired of losing old friends or fighting with people who have known us before we were a system that start refusing to believe or understand that we're a system. Yes there's still a time and a place to be up front about it and I will choose the honesty of the situation each time. So it's easier in most places to just bring it up so you KNOW who's going to stick around and support you and who will leave or get weirded out beforehand.

That way I don't get attached to someone who will just hurt and betray me later. I also don't want to be friends with people whom I can't even feel safe to speak openly and honestly with without judgement or fearing I'll do something wrong.

This is just genuinely not right and I'll never understand how people think it is or what they think they're accomplishing in bullying, harrasing and hurting others.

Like I don't even understand why Wrath likes doing it? Granted he ONLY does it WHEN and only when the attacks come to him first.

#tw; syscourse #syscourse #system #actually plural #plural #osdd system #mixed origin system #open journal #day 100 #obake speaks #split #discourse #did/osdd #plurality #endo safe

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woagitsasecret · 17 days

Text

Eight years old and he's kicking and screaming "I'll only go to school if you give me a reason The kids are really mean and I already know All the things they're teaching"

Hopped in the car, mama let him play hooky Missed the first hour just to get a cup of coffee She's the only one who saw who he was No one else could read him

Showing up late but he makes it to class Just to stare out the window and the clock in the back He daydreamed away to a sky so gray Everything's simple, it's driving him mental

Wishing everyday that something would change Instead his dad makes him play ball by the bay And every time he cries, Mother rolls her eyes, saying "Son it's all your fault, how come you never try?"

He does all that he shouldWhy is he misunderstood?

This is a story 'bout a broken boy With his headphones in just to block out the noise Of everyone around him telling him the way to go So he walks the world alone

Wondering if it gets better Or if he's always gonna feel empty forever So he gets lost tryna find another way back home As he walks the world alone

15 years and he's drowning his sorrows Smoking weed, drinking cheap liquor out the bottle With a bunch of fake friends 'cause he tried to fit in But it wasn't working

Ran in with the law 'bout a dozen of times Nothing too bad, just a few suburban crimes Still he says to himself "What are you doing, you don't deserve this

Don't you know nobody will ever understand The person that you are, learn to hold your own hand Get your shit together and lose the weight You'll never be what you want, no, not with that face"

He started writing all of his thoughts on paper, Realized music made life so much greater A hundred pounds down, he looks so different now As he plans his escape from a crooked hometown

He does all that he should Why is he misunderstood?

This is a story 'bout a broken boy With his headphones in just to block out the noise Of everyone around him telling him the way to go So he walks the world alone

Wondering if it gets better Or if he's always gonna feel empty forever So he gets lost tryna find another way back home As he walks the world alo-o-o-o-o-o-one Alo-o-o-o-o-o-one Alo-o-o-o-o-o-ooone

21 years and he's on the right path But sometimes he wonders if he grew up too fast And missed out on the little things All of the little things (haha, yeah right)

Who is he kidding? Surely not himself But sometimes he wonders if there's somebody else Who takes the same road but he'll never know 'Cause he walks the world alone

This is a story 'bout a broken boy With his headphones in just to block out the noise Of everyone around him telling him the way to go So he walks the world alone

Wondering if it gets better Or if he's always gonna feel empty forever So he gets lost tryna find another way back home As he walks the world alo-o-o-o-o-o-one Alo-o-o-o-o-o-one (Does it get better? Does it get better?) Alo-o-o-o-o-o-ooone

As he walks the world alo-o-o-o-o-o-one Alo-o-o-o-o-o-one Alo-o-o-o-o-o-ooone (So alone) Yeah, he walks the world alone

#... // lyrics #... // precious #... // grey

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that-sokovian-bastard · 2 years

Text

Partners in Crime - Jason Todd x Reader

Words: 2210 Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader Featuring: Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson Warnings: Crime-fighting, mentions killing, swearing Summary: You're working with Red Hood to clean up Gotham and make it safe. Batman and Nightwing don't like the way you are going about doing that. Author's Note: This takes place before Batman & Co know Jason is Red Hood and shortly after Red Hood showed up in Gotham, so you and Jason are about 20ish. Also, I listened to Partners in Crime by Set It Off many times while writing this and use one lyric so it's not super "based on" but definitely inspired by it!

Jason / Full Masterlist

---

"Batman is catching up!" You shouted to Red Hood as you two ran along the roof next to each other. "What's the plan?"

"Split up!" He yelled back and pointed for you to go to the right.

You shot him a confused look, even though he couldn't see it under your helmet. "Are you sure it's a wise idea?"

"He can only chase one of us," Red Hood reasoned. "Meet back at the apartment!"

You nodded, and both of you turned in opposite directions. This wasn't the first time you guys had a run-in with Batman, but it was the closest he managed to get to you. You thought you lost him and took a second to breathe on the roof, but as you were about to take off again, he jumped right in front of you.

Batman stared at you, and you were mentally planning how you would get out of this. "You don't want to do this, kid," He warned. Again, he couldn't see it, but you rolled your eyes, and you made it known even though you were blocked by your helmet.

You didn't say anything but instead charged at Batman to try to take him by surprise. You should've known you couldn't do that, but it was all your brain was coming up with. Bruce trained you; you know how he fights, but once he realizes it, he'll recognize how you fight, too.

Most of the fight was him dodging your hits and trying to get you to calm down so he could speak with you, but you weren't hearing any of it. You left Bruce's side when Jason died; now it's time for you to get back out there and help Red Hood.

Finally, after a few minutes more of dodging and throwing punches, Bruce was over it. He recognized the fighting style a bit and just wanted to talk with you and figure out what you and Red Hood wanted. He lunged at your helmet, hitting it hard but not hurting you. You groaned loudly as the helmet flew off your face and landed a few feet away from you near the edge of the building. Having it yanked off definitely would leave a bruise on your chin, but you were more worried about other things now.

Batman stopped moving and stared at you as you rubbed your chin, swearing under your breath about the ache. Bruce sighed, followed by your name. You looked at him, staring right back, not saying anything. It started to rain, and Bruce broke the silence. "What are you doing?"

You took a moment to respond, assessing your area without him noticing. He was distracted, finding out that the person working with Red Hood is you. "I'm doing what you didn't."

"What do you mean?" He asked, trying to get all he could get out of you.

Shaking your head, you leaned over, grabbed your helmet off the roof, and tucked it under your arm. "You won't get it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some business to attend to," You told him and leaned back off the roof, letting gravity take you. Timed perfectly, you used your grappling hook to catch yourself from the fall, and you vanished.

Bruce shouted your name and ran to the edge of the building. "Wait!" He said as he peered over, but you were nowhere to be seen.

You were stuck between smiling and scowling. On the one hand, your trick of getting out of Bruce's grasp was awesome, but on the other, Bruce now knows you're working with Red Hood.

Once you arrived at your apartment, Jason was already inside, waiting for you. "What took you so long?" He asked.

"Bruce caught up to me; we fought a bit, then he kicked my helmet off and figured out who I am," You gave him the rundown. "But it's okay, and I got out before he got anything from me."

"Well, that's both good and bad," Jason sighed. "You're okay, though, right?" He asked.

You nodded, not elaborating. "I'm surprised he went after you," He said.

"Yeah, I don't know. Maybe it was a mistake," You shrugged. "You see anything important?"

"Nightwing's in town."

As you took your jacket off, you looked at Jason to make sure he wasn't messing with you. "Really? Dick's here? Where did you see him?" You asked.

"Saw him when we first ran away from the encounter. I think he showed up to help Batman with those guys who nearly sold us out," Jason scoffed. "Fuckin' snitches."

You ignored his last statement. "Well, that's annoying. Hopefully he doesn't try to get involved."

Jason immediately stopped moving and shot you a ridiculous look. "It's Dick. He's going to get involved."

Shrugging, you let the conversation finish there and went to the bedroom to change out of your suit. Jason was still ranting about the snitches willing to rat out Red Hood, Batman following you guys, and Bruce finding out who you are. "Jay, calm down. It's probably best he followed me anyway. Because now, he's going to focus on me instead of you, right?" You tried to talk some sense into him. You convinced him to take some deep breaths, and finally, you guys were able to talk about how the rest of the night went.

On the other side of Gotham, Bruce returned to the Batcave, nearly blowing steam out his ears from being so angry. Dick was already there, enjoying some snacks with Alfred, worried when Bruce came in and huffed over to his computer. Once Dick managed to ask him what was wrong, Bruce said, "We know who Red Hood's accomplice is," And said your name, both Dick and Alfred understood why he was so mad.

Dick sighed, more disappointed than anything. "What do they think they're doing?" He asked, not expecting any response.

---

You followed Jason along the roofs. He got a tip about someone going after someone that works under him, and Red Hood wasn't about to let his guy die. He might have a different plan for the other one, though.

"Are you sure about this?" You asked him once you two got stopped and hid behind something on the roof. Someone was in the alley, but not the guy Jason was looking for; it was someone else.

"I think so. You stay up here, and I'll go down when things escalate. Then, if I need your help, you can follow. That way, we both don't get involved if we don't need to," He explained, and you nodded.

Right as the plan was formed, the guy Jason wanted to protect walked down the sidewalk. This was a planned attack, so it was good that someone tipped him off; that way, he could protect the guy and unleash some anger on the attacker. Red Hood jumped off the roof and ran after the attacker before he could even get a swing at Red Hood's guy, scaring him more than anything. But Jason didn't have much time before Batman jumped down between Red Hood and the attacker, causing both Red Hood's guy and the other man to run off instantly.

"Not you again," Red Hood mumbled. He quickly looked up at you and shouted, "Rendezvous!" And you didn't look back as you took off running. Now that Bruce knows who you are, things are more complicated.

You ran along the roofs to get back to the apartment, which was the same as the rendezvous point, knowing Jason would meet you there as soon as he got away from Batman. When you got only a few buildings away, Nightwing stood in front of you with his arms crossed.

You tried to turn, but he called your name to distract you. "Why are you doing this?" He asked.

Sighing, you looked up at him. "I'm doing what Bruce didn't."

He was confused. "What is that supposed to mean? You and Red Hood are hurting people."

"Us?" You scoffed. "If anything, Batman is!"

"How?" He asked, genuinely curious.

You were mad he didn't realize. He is the golden child, so why wouldn't he always blindly follow Batman? "If he manned up and took care of the issues instead of throwing them in Arkham so they can break out and cause more harm, then Gotham wouldn't have nearly as many criminals as we have now!" You shouted.

Dick stared at you, understanding what you meant when you said it. "We don't kill people. That's when we become just as bad as them."

"I don't need the lecture. Bruce gave it to me when I wanted to go after Joker. But if he killed Joker all those years ago, we wouldn't still be facing problems caused by Joker!" You said, frustrated. "If Bruce cared about Gotham, he would take care of Freeze, Riddler, Joker...all of them! If Joker were dead, Jason wouldn't have died!" You continued to rant, momentarily forgetting that you were on the way to meet up with Jason.

Sighing, Nightwing figured it out. "So that's what this is about. It's about Jason," He said, and you gestured vaguely in response. "How did you even get connected to Red Hood? We're worried about you."

"He found me," You said, not elaborating any further. "We will keep Gotham safe, unlike how you and Bruce think you're doing it. If they're gone, then there won't be any more issues, right?"

"You know that's not how it works," He tried to reason with you, but you didn't care. "I need to take you back to the Batcave. Please don't make this harder than it has to be," Dick said as he walked closer to you.

You backed up, looking back when your foot hit the edge. Then, you figured you could buy yourself some time. "Out of everyone, Dick, I thought you would get it," You crossed your arms. He stopped, waiting for you to say more. "I thought you would understand that there is only one way to solve everything. Do you even care that Joker killed Jason?"

"Of course I do," He snapped. "I miss him just as much as you do, but I can't change anything now. If we cross that line and start killing people, we will be just as bad as everyone in Arkham. There are other ways," He explained. "Now, come on, let's get to the Cave."

You shook your head, chuckling a little. "No. You'll never take us alive," You said and looked over your shoulder. Dick realized you were going to jump, and when he lunged toward you, you did exactly that and jumped off the building. Just like how you escaped Batman a few nights prior, using your grappling hook, you escaped into the darkness before Dick could even regain his balance.

"Dammit!" He swore to himself before trying to contact Batman to see where he was back.

You expected that you wouldn't beat Jason back to the apartment after your encounter with Nightwing, and you were right. It wasn't too long that Jason was waiting for you pacing around the kitchen. "There you are!" He said when he saw you make your way through the window. "What happened?"

"Dick tried to talk to me then take me back to the Batcave. I got out of there, but we talked. I thought he would be the one to understand," You sighed, then realized something was wrong with Jason's arm. "What happened there?" You pointed.

Jason removed his hand from his shoulder and showed you the slice where he was bleeding. You grabbed a towel off the counter and quickly put it on top of the cut. "What is this?" You asked as Jason winced while you tried to cover it.

"Got hit with a Batarang. He was trying to hit something, and I moved at the perfect time in the wrong direction, and he cut me. Luckily, I was able to get out of there quickly," He explained. "Doesn't hurt too bad, though. I haven't gotten to the first-aid stuff yet."

You stared at him when you realized what this meant. "Jason," You said seriously.

"What?"

"You got cut with a Batarang. He let you get away. Probably to make sure he could grab said Batarang..." You talked it out to him so he could realize the same thing.

Jason's jaw dropped. "Oh my god," He said.

"Bruce has your blood and is probably running tests on it right now," You looked down in defeat. "We've lost our element of surprise and mystery."

You looked back up when Jason clicked his tongue. "Well, at least he knows why I'm so pissed."

And just as you were helping clean up Jason's cut, Bruce was getting the test results that proved his thoughts about who Red Hood is. Nightwing came running in, ready to report what he found out from you. "I know who Red Hood is!" He shouted, not yet seeing the results on the computer.

"I do, too," Bruce said, making Dick confused, then gesturing to the computer.

"Damn, that was supposed to be my big news," Dick sighed.

Bruce ignored the joke, turned around, and headed back to the Batmobile. "We have a lot of work to do."

#jason todd #jason todd x reader #red hood x reader #dc #dcu #imagines #fanfiction #x reader #red hood #nightwing #batman #dc comics

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ignitedbynatsu · 3 years

Text

He Makes You Feel Insecure ~ Natsu

A/N: Woowie it has been a while hasn’t it 😅 Writers block can be a bitch but I think I have a few more ideas for the other boys. Let me know who you want me to write for next!!

warnings: insecurities (he makes you feel like you feel like your magic isn’t compatible, cursing

genre: angst to fluff

Other versions:

Gray ~ Laxus ~ Cobra/Erik ~ Bickslow ~ Gajeel ~ Jellal ~ Freed ~ Sting ~ Rogue

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Tension had been running high for Natsu when his fire attacks had been cancelled one after the other by the wind magic user, but when you were the one that accidentally nullified his attack with your water magic, that’s when he completely snapped.

You had taken note of the rising irritation in your boyfriend's behaviour, and you thought that he hadn’t noticed the attack coming his way so in the heat of the moment you decided to step in. As a result, your water extinguished his flames and you both could dodge his attack your opponent’s attack just in time.

“Natsu, I’m so sorry-“ “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

You were a bit taken back by his sudden tone as he had never yelled at you before. He took notice of your sudden state of shock, but that wasn’t enough to prevent the vicious word from coming from his mouth “Why the fuck did you think that was a good idea? Don’t you see that you’re a nuisance to me? All you do is fuck up my fire and get in my way. I don’t want your magic near me, can you get that through your thick skull?”

“Natsu!” Erza called out to the stressed fire dragon slayer “This is not the time nor the place”

“I won’t get in your way next time” You whispered before heading over to help Lucy with her opponent.

After a while, you overpowered your foes and were now on a train making your way back to Magnolia. You sat next to Lucy, while Carla and Wendy were seated in front of you. Natsu, Gray, Erza and Happy were seated in the boot next to yours.

“(Y/N)” Natsu whined “I’m dying, please help me” You usually summoned some water in the palm of your hand and let it softly swirl against his forehead. For some reason, it helped with the nauseous feeling, and you were about to give in until you realized his words from earlier. He wanted your magic nowhere near him. What if you somehow fucked up and splashed water all over him. You did not want to be yelled at again.

“Tell Natsu I’m asleep or something” You mumbled lowly, so only Lucy could hear, while you laid your head on her shoulder. She gave you a sad smile, knowing the outburst was still fresh on your mind. She complied, making Natsu groan in response but eventually gave up. He didn’t look too much in it as he knew how tired you could get from these jobs.

Once out of the train, you didn’t spare Natsu a second look. You walked in front of everyone, but Erza quickly caught up to walk next to you, while the other looked after the two Dragon Slayers that were still feeling a bit nauseous from the train ride “Are you okay?”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I be?” You asked.

Erza clicked her tongue as she looked at you from the corner of her eyes, absolutely not believing the lie that just fell from your tongue “Natsu was way out of line”

“He was just stressed, it can happen to the best of us” You shrugged it off, hoping that if you treated it lightly it wouldn’t weight down later in your mind.

“Still not an excuse to work it out on you” She pointed out.

“I know, thank you for caring, but really Erza, I promise I’m okay.” You gave her a small genuine smile which she returned.

You didn’t return to the guild as the others did, instead, you went home, telling the others you were too tired from the mission to deal with the shenanigans from Fairy Tail. Natsu offered to walk you home, but you kindly denied it, leaving him a bit confused. He realized he should probably give you some space since he lashed out at you. He made a mental note to apologize next thing in the morning when he’d see you.

“(Y/N)! Baby!” Natsu ran over to you and hugged you tightly while spinning you around making you squeal in surprise “put me down, Natsu”

“Only if you forgive me for what happened yesterday,” he said.

“I forgive you. You were stressed, I get it, it’s no big deal” You forgave him.

“I knew you’d understand, you’re the best” He kissed your cheek as he placed you back on your feet “anyway Happy and I found this job and-“

“I think I’m gonna take a day off, still feel a little tired from yesterday, you can go, though, have fun” you cut him off before he could fully explain the mission.

“Alright, make sure you take care of yourself today! I’ll be home as soon as I can, so we can cuddle” He kissed your forehead before turning to the Exceed “Let’s go Happy! Let’s go ask if Lucy wants to join”

That’s how the following weeks went. You always found an excuse to not join Natsu and Happy on the job. Sure you had forgiven him for his outburst since he was under a lot of stress. He shouldn’t have taken it out on you, but you also knew it could happen to the best of us when you’ve hit your limit. However, you couldn’t help but see some truth in his words.

Your magic was not compatible and made you doubt yourself. You associated yourself strongly with your magic, as every wizard did, so I made you think if you and Natsu were suited for each other. After all, that was one of the many reasons why Natsu and Gray shared such a peculiar friendship.

You had often heard of the saying that opposites attracted, but nothing could be further from the truth. The human race is a narcissistic species and wants nothing more than finding themselves in their significant others. Huge differences might be exciting and fun at first but are bound to break in the long run.

“(Y/N), you wanna go on a mission with us?” Natsu asked as you stood in front of the board with job applications.

“Can’t, I promised Gajeel I-“ You started to explain but cut yourself off when Natsu threw you over his shoulder “Natsu! Let me go! Natsu!”

“No we need to talk,” He said in a serious tone, making you stop struggling against his grip and let him take you outside, so you could talk in private.

“What do you wanna talk about?” You asked softly as you took notice of the sincere expression on his face.

“Why are you avoiding me?” He asked as his black orbs were searching for answers in your eyes.

“I am not” you deflected his question, but you breaking eye contact as soon as the words past your lips proved you were lying.

“Ever since that day I lashed out at you, you haven’t gone on a mission with me” He pressed.

“That’s not true” you denied once again which made him frown. Why were you dishonest with him?

“Okay, when was the last time we went on a job together?” He asked. Your silence was a clear answer and you both knew it. Your gaze averted to the ground, but he refused to let you shy away from him as he placed a finger under your chin to tilt your head back up until your eyes meet once again. His hand softly from underneath your chin to lay on your cheek “are you still upset with me?”

Your heart shattered at how vulnerable he was right now. His playful antics long replaced by guilt that had been slowly eating away at him for the past days. “No, of course not”

“Then please tell me what I did wrong. I can’t stand the thought of me deliberately hurting you. Please tell me what’s troubling you, so I can fix it” He pleaded.

“Do you-“ You paused to collect your thoughts “do you think we’re right for each other?”

“What do you mean?”

“That day you said my magic was a nuisance. It got me thinking and you were right. You have to evade my magic so often, and it's all because it isn’t compatible with one another. I just didn’t want to be more of a hinder than I already was, that’s why I started to join others on their jobs just so I wouldn’t mess up yours. I just sometimes wonder if my magic isn’t the only thing that isn’t compatible with you.” You frowned as you hear yourself your insecurities out loud.

“Hey, no, stop. What I said that day was completely out of line. I took my frustration and took them out on you and I shouldn’t have. I have no excuse for how I acted that day. You didn’t deserve it, and I’m sorry for making you feel bad. So what if we’re a little different. I thought you always liked a good challenge?” He apologized.

“Sure I like the thrill of our relationship, but it doesn’t take away from the fact our magic isn’t suitable for one another. I just think we’re setting ourselves up for failure. A challenge is fun for a little while but we both know that stability is what you need if you want a relationship to survive in the long run” You explained.

“Then we’ll defy those odds. I’ll show everyone and especially you that you don’t need something like psychology to prove if a relationship will work or not. Please let me prove to you how much I can love you and let me prove to you that I’ll eventually become that stability you crave.” He vowed. “I always thought you weren’t one to be quick on giving up when things get rough”

“I’m not, I just don’t want to put my heart out there if I know from the start it’ll only get broken” You uttered somberly.

“I promise you it won’t. I’ll love you with every fiber in my body until the day I die. I will never make you doubt yourself or our relationship again” He told you, sincerity audible in his voice.

You smiled softly at him as your arms sneaked around his waist while your head laid on his chest. His arms immediately reacted at your touch, shielding you away from the world as his lips planted a soft kiss on your head “I love you”

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jasmine-the-fox · 3 years

Text

She’s mine!

So this little salt fic was a request by Thiamati on ao3 so here we go with a jealous Damian Wayne!

Damian was sick of it, for a week now he has watched guys rush over to Marinette with gifts and asking her out on dates, and while she does turn them down... They don’t give up one bit.

He has been dating her for the last two years, she wasn’t ready to tell the public about there relationship so he respected it, but this summer she came to Gotham to patrol with his family and to train, when she came back she was different, her hair was now down instead of it’s usual pigtails style, her clothes were now a little bit more grown-up instead of the usual pink in her clothes, she gained muscles and her figure was more visible then before and she was now wearing make-up.

At first it was fine, guys noticed her and people would compliment her new look while Lila makes another lie about herself... Nothing new, but then guys began to leave her gifts in her locker, making her buy herself a lock for it, then guys left the gifts on her desk, and then guys would come up to her and ask her out... He hated it since Mari would tell him to calm down and let her handle it, he trusts her but he just hated watching those guys asking her out.

Alya Cesaire was annoying, she claimed that Mari was a slut and was paying these guys to ask her out... But they followed Adrien Agreste today and claimed she was lying and stupid... Also said she was jealous of Mari’s new look, he hated the model with the way he was so blind sided about things like Lila and her lies... He wished he could simply smack him in the face and yell at him to see a therapist and research what his actions do in life.

But that would make Marinette cry... And he didn’t want her to cry...

So he did nothing, simply watched from the lunch table he eats at with the people who were on Mari’s side: Chloe Bourgeois, Luka Couffaine, Juleka Couffaine, Kagami Tsurugi and Alix Kubdel, these people knew about his relationship with Marinette and also know Lila’s true colors... But each time they try to bring her lies to light, she fake cries, blames Marinette for there false claims and then claims she simply want’s them all to be friends right now making them be glared at.

He sometimes wonders what Adrien is doing, while he does go over to speak to Mari and asks her out (which he notices makes Alya get excited and pull out her phone to record) he get’s rejected quickly enough with the claim that she doesn’t see him that way (which as a result angers Alya as she stomps away) he would then watch the blonde walk away and then pull out his phone to do something on it for a bit and then leaves the area... Days later Mari get’s a package of two gorgeous dresses.

Which she donates to charity...

They dresses were in her old size so she couldn’t fit in them, not only that but they weren’t in her current taste... So donating them was the next best thing, it made him smile towards her kind heart, but then the gifts began to happen every day, she always got something in her old measurements and her old tastes which made no sense to her, then at school Adrien would look upset about something for a bit and then walks away, one day around her desk were a bunch of red roses and on her desk was a pink teddy bear holding a box that held a necklace of a heart shaped pink quarts.

She didn’t understand what was going on, after she left the roses behind, she handed the bear to Juleka to gift Rose as the girl was slowly listening to her girlfriend and her words, while to Aurore she handed the necklace to gift to Mireille, she had feelings for the girl and so Mari was certain that the gift would get her feelings through, now she was at her locker being yelled at by Alya about the gifts and Adrien... Sadly the girl wasn’t making much sense right now so Mari simply ignored her until Chloe walks in so they can head to her hotel.

But the gifts kept going... But with notes from Adrien this time...

They freak her out, each time she would leave her room or any room to be honest, there would be a gift from him with a note in his hand writing, she would always look around to try and find him, then she would ask him to leave her alone because she didn’t feel the same way, but he kept going so her friends began to reject him for her since he wasn’t listening... Damian was getting angry at the blonde because he was close to losing it at him right now, so then it happened, Mari was heading home when she felt like she was being watched, she pulled out her phone and recorded behind her and got a clear shot of Adrien, she then ran to the Couffaine house boat and then waited for the police to arrive.

Adrien was long gone, but they examined the video and confirmed it was real and not edited, so they went over and reported to Gabriel a restraining order on his son... Then showed him the video “We had it tested many times mister Agreste, your son stalked miss Dupain-Cheng and as a result demanded a restraining order on him” he was told, he nodded and the police left so he could yell at his son and show him the video.

Adrien was to stay at home for a week so they could speak with the police, Mari’s parents and the principal about a solution to have him keep going to school, be with his friends without breaking the restraining order “He will need to be at the back of the class while she is at the front to not break it” Sabine explained making them all nod in agreement, this made Adrien furious! He just wanted to date Marinette! And now he wasn’t allowed to speak to her!? It was so unfair, he texted Nino about this and since he didn’t know the full story he agreed with his friend and told the rest of the class.

This gave Lila her ammunition for her next lie...

She began to claim that Mari had been stalking Adrien and her so they don’t get together for work and things outside of school, and claimed that to protect herself she lied to the police (without knowing about the video she took) Alya who was furious went to the police and demanded proof about Mari’s reason behind the restraining order on Adrien, the officer at the time could tell that Alya was blinded by lies so her smirked and showed her the video “We had it tested many times and it was confirmed as 100% real and not edited” he said before letting her play it.

She didn’t know how many times she watched it (the officer saw her replay the video twelve times) but it was true, Adrien was the one stalking Mari... And she was so close at claiming that Mari lied and she was the one stalking Adrien AND Lila! All this time that Italian lied to them! She had to do something about this, she set the video down and thanked the officer for allowing her to watch it and then left in a rush to get back home, sure she had to watch the twins but she got them distracted with a movie as she did a ton of research on all of her post about Lila and the truth behind the liar.

As she worked she made a private group chat with the class (minus Mari and her friends, Lila and Adrien) and began sending them links about the truth behind each of Lila’s lies and the consequences behind if her claims had been true, she would send links every few seconds without allowing them the chance to reply with another of Lila’s lies... Once she was done she then began sending them links to stories that Lila was part of... All in the same pattern.

She would move, transfer to a new school, start lying her butt off about herself in class then someone would call out on her lies, Lila would cry and claim that person is bullying her and hurting her, the class attacks that student and then either the student ends there life, transfers to a new school or suddenly dies and Lila is gone before anyone can question her... The class never replied, sure it was confirmed they saw her post but no one was saying a thing, they were simply quiet.

Once she was done she told them to not tell Lila or Adrien as she believed the blonde knew she was a liar (but she didn’t have proof about it so she had to wait) she asked them to meet her at the school library the next day so they could talk, she then left the chat to focus on her sisters until her big sister arrived and takes over for her, she then goes to her room to try and reach out to Marinette, but she was blocked from contacting her, so she tried her friends... Same result, she then decided to try and use social media to reach out... Mari hadn’t blocked her there so she was able to get her to agree to see her in her room at the bakery that same day.

She quickly got there and went up to her friends room... And found her curled up on Damian’s lap... Explaining to her that they were dating, she didn’t ask question and decided to not tell anyone as it wasn’t her story to tell at all right now, instead she sat down as she listened to Mari tell her side of the story in everything connected to Lila and Adrien, Alya decided to simply record the audio and not film her... It would show Damian and she wanted to respect there relationship.

Mari did reveal that she wasn’t mentally ready for the media and tabloids to attack her yet, she explained that Damian’s family and her friends were helping her overcome it but it was a slow process for now, Alya nodded in understanding and promised to keep quiet, she got back home and replayed the audio a few times to work with it on revealing Lila Rossi and Adrien Agreste for the monster’s they truly are, the next day Lila laughed at Mari for lying to the police to gain attention, Caline sternly reprimanded Marinette for doing so and told her to go to the police station to apologize for lying about Adrien.

The blonde was going to go with her and was just about to take hold of her hand when Damian lost it, he flipped Adrien over his shoulder and yelled “DON’T TOUCH MY GIRLFRIEND YOU CRAZY STALKER!!” this made the school look at him in shock, Lila then began to cry and claim that he was dating her for the last two months “News flash Rossi: Damian Wayne has been dating Marinette for the last two years” Chloe laughed making the school glare at the liar as she trembled in fear and then ran back home to hide.

Alya smirked at this as she then claimed that she had proof about Lila being a liar and had compiled the evidence about Lila and Adrien straight from Marinette herself, everyone wanted to see this so Max asked them all to come to the library so he could set it up there, meanwhile Sabrina called her dad over to come watch this with a team, Damian apologized to Mari for revealing there relationship but she simply smiled and explained that they can reveal everything in Gotham “As long as i’m with you... I won’t be scared” she explained making him smile as they walked into the library.

Minutes later, Lila and Adrien were taken to the police station to be questioned for there actions, Gabriel refused to help his son as for Lila... Her mother at first wanted to help but after hearing what Lila did back at her old schools... She removed her diplomatic immunity on the spot and left the room to get back home while telling her daughter she was on her own.

The judge claimed them both unstable and dangerous, for now they were to be put into juvie and once they were adults they would be sentenced like adults... Lila didn’t go there though, she was taken back to Italy to be put in a mental prison for the unstable where she would be pumped with medication to keep her calm and loopy (she did try to attack the judge, stabbed one officer with a pen, bit another and then scratched a third one) Adrien who didn’t want to face the same fate as her agreed to his punishment and admitted to all the charges placed on him.

No one saw them after that, instead they focused all on apologizing to Mari and trying to fix there friendship with her... All the while she returned to Gotham with Damian to go on live TV to reveal there relationship, in the end her fears were for nothing, Gotham reporters respected her greatly since she was titled as Gotham’s sunshine since she made the criminals want to protect her instead of attack her... And Damian couldn’t mind it since they always took care of any tabloids or creeps from getting to close.

Guess being jealous pays off huh...

Hey guys! So if you didn’t get it when Damian was jealous let me explain it... Like I wrote around the start, Damian and Mari have been dating for two years... But in those two years they have never been public about there relationship... So it was a secret, meaning no one knew about it other then the people they tell... Meaning that the boys asking Mari out have no idea that she’s taken and Damian can’t stop them since it will reveal that there dating... Makes sense now?

#mlb fic #mlb salt #class salt #CrossOver #miraculous ladybug #batman #Damian Wayne #marixdamian #lila salt #lila gets exposed #adrien salt #Stalker!adrien #alya salt

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misselko · 3 years

Text

Got this idea from Dimitri’s conversation with Byleth before Fort Merceus battle with the Death Knight. Put some angst, fluff, and a pinch of smut spices into the dish and let it simmer down! At least, that’s what I want! But it turned out... different ;) Sorry not sorry

This one took me some days to write. I hope you enjoy it! Please feel free to give me some advice and ideas for my next fic! Your warm comments will be cherished very much 💕 Thankies!!

RECKLESS

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Mention of blood, violence, smut

Words: 3316

POST TIMESKIP

Empire will be the only remaining enemy and to move on to the Imperial Capital, Enbarr, capturing Fort Merceus is a must. Praised as the strongest defense with its fortified military installation in the Empire, seizing it won’t be an easy feat.

Liberating Arianrhod, calming down Holy Kingdom of Faerghus political issues, winning over the Leicester Alliance and gained their support. Getting a lead on Lady Rhea’s location. Although things were a rough go, but thinking back on it now, Blue Lions sure has really come a long way. Things have been wonderful in these past moons that it almost feels like dream too good to be true.

You don’t know why but you can’t shake your uneasy feelings and dread. War is raging and everyone knows there is a big battle on the horizon.

“We must not falter in our assault. The Death Knight is the enemy commander in Fort Merceus. He’s an unpredictable opponent. A dangerous one. Please proceed with caution, (Y/N).”

“I will, Dimitri. No need to worry.”

“I have not come this far just to lose you here. I’m serious. Do not be reckless out there.”

“Will you save me if I’m in trouble?”

“Of course, (Y/N). You were the heart of the Blue Lions, and the same holds true for the Kingdom Army.”

You smiled at his concern and hold his hands gently.

“I will do my best as well to support you, my Dimitri.” His cheeks turned into rosy blush at your words.

“Whoaa!! You’re getting pretty chummy, aren’t you, Your Highness? Go get a room!” Sylvain winks and got punched HARD, dragged away by Ingrid. You make mental notes on giving her a delicious roasted meat from that famous new shop in the town later as your gratitude. Serves him right!! ...But you wouldn’t trade them for anything in this world. Everything will be alright with them. Blue Lions are your precious family. It will be fine. Everything will be fine.

---

Capturing Fort Merceus is a daunting task. Endless enemies are approaching and relentless. Felix and Sylvain are working together cut through the snipers and mages. Ingrid and Ashe are doing their best to handle the pegasi knights. Dedue, Annette, Mercedes, and Flayn makes great combo on cutting through enemy reinforcements while providing healing to everyone. Slowly but sure, you and Dimitri managed to push Death Knight on the corner. But it doesn’t make things less difficult for both of you.

“You dare stand between me and my pleasure?”

The beginning of it was barely a bellow that grew steadily to a deafening roar, piercing the air and shaking the ground. Areadbhar crack in deafening clash against Death Knight’s Scythe of Sariel. They raised their weapons, waving them overhead.

“Yes. I dare stand against you, Death Knight!!”

Dimitri decides to face Death Knight head on as you tried your best to keep his back safe from the Imperial soldiers assaults. Keeping a close eye on him... just in case, following from a few meters back, cover his blind spots that way, look out for any potential danger. You could see them coming around, carefully and quietly trying to find their way to Dimitri.

Landing sharp blows, you bring the blade down on the head of another mage. Slashing your way through numerous enemies, you start to feel fatigued. Countless enemies lying dead behind. You looked around, among the sea of red and black, a swordmaster is sneaking his way behind Dimitri, ready to ambush him.

But you wouldn’t let it happen!

You were fully offensive, rapidly swinging your sword down on the swordmaster. You were able to deflect, parry, and block most of his attacks until his foot swept across your ankles, knocking you hard to the floor. The swordmaster stood above you, ready to press his sword into your chest to end your life. Fatigue made it harder for you to evade his deadly stab completely. Sound of a weapon piercing through flesh filled your ears, followed by an intense pain in your side. He pulled it back out with a triumphant smirk on his face. Despite the searing pain, you made it in time to grab your own weapon and thrust it up to his neck, your arms shaking as you tried to counter the weight of his attack. Grimace crossing your face as he fell, blood painting the earth a sick shade of red.

You sat up, wincing at the searing, burning hot pain on your side. The stab wound was way too deep. Your hands trembled, desperately attempting to put pressure on the wound as heavy flow of your blood is trickling through your fingers, colors your skin and clothes. The world had turned blurry, and your body felt weak. Ignoring the excruciating pain, you rush forward to help Dimitri. He has won against the Death Knight. But in his brief reverie, the Tempest King failed to notice two opposing snipers are approaching him, expression intent to kill, aiming their arrows at his back.

You acted on instinct, rushing forward, sprinting to intervene. To protect him.

‘We have been through so much together and he’d been through hell and back... I want to ease his pain. Knowing he’s safe... I can be at peace.’

You thought to yourself, launching forward. You barely has energy to stand up, but you tried to muster your last remaining strength to dove in before Dimitri. The arrows managed to easily make it’s way through your armor, landing in your chest and abdomen. ‘I have no regret when it came to protecting Dimitri.’

Your body slammed hard on the ground, careening across the battlefield. A sharp cry pained noise escaped you; that was all it took. Dimitri stiffened at the sound. It pulled him from the high of the battlefield down to reality in an instant.

“(Y/N)!!!”

He turned; filled with horror and rage. The fires blazing around him didn’t give off any heat. The battlefield around him turned black and white. His ears were ringing as if he’d been caught in an explosion. Dimitri went after the snipers and thrust them both at their hearts. After a quick glance to make sure no more surprise attacks happen, he kneels and pulling you into his chest. You looked so small, felt so limp that it sickened him. Broken and battered with littered scars and large wound on your side. Arrows jutting out of your chest, much too close to the heart, and another one lodged deep in your abdomen.

Dimitri watched as the blood pooled around you. Blood... there is so much blood. Your blood.

“Goddess... what were you- MERCEDES! FLAYN!! SOMEONE...HELP!!”

He pulled himself up, beside you, staring at your face. You were so pale. Oh, Goddess, you were dying. Were you already dead?

“I’m sorry.” There isn’t a reason to apologize, you aren’t sorry, but it still came out like the blood that is on Dimitri’s hands now.

“Don’t you dare apologize to me right now,” his voice choked off in his throat feels raw with emotions, barely able to hold back the sob which demands to escape, “not when you are like this. What were you thinking, (Y/N)? You have promised me to not be reckless.” He phrased it in a question, but both know why.

“Y-You... haven’t seen the... swordmaster... and those snipers. Y-You...were going to die...if they attack you. I want to protect you.... and I don’t regret my decision.“

You opened your mouth to speak but immediately coughed, feeling globs of blood on the corners of your lips. Dimitri gripped your hand, his hold so tight that it hurt, but you wouldn’t waste your breath on telling him. You could barely see Mercedes scurried over to your side as quickly as she could, Flayn follows behind her, leaving the Death Knight behind with tears running down her cheeks.

“Please stay awake for me a little longer, please.”

He choked out, pulling you closer if possible as it would keep you from leaving.

The chaos around you went mute as your eyes grow heavy. Maybe a quick nap would suffice.

“No...no, no, (Y/N)!! You can’t do this to me, you can’t-! Please, (Y/N), I can’t lose you too.....”

You felt like you were fading, and the sounds around you faded along with your hazy consciousness. You fell asleep.

---

Every second was filled with anxiety; you’d lost so much blood. The wounds were too deep to heal completely. There was little to no possibility of survival. Not after what you’d been through.

The days turned to one week, then two...then three. The physical wounds had healed, mostly repaired and faded to scars. There was potential for things to return to normal, and you may wake up sooner rather than later.

When you opened your eyes again, you found yourself in a dimly lit room, your upper body covered in bandages. The first thing you’re aware of is a dull throb radiating throughout your entire body. You were confused, and moved your head, unintentionally shifting your body and sending a wave of pain through your chest and stomach as you tried to get up. You closed your eyes tightly in response to the return of extreme pain, much worse than you had ever felt before. With much struggle, you sat on the edge of the bed shakily trying to stand up. The door creaked open and you looked up to find Dimitri peering inside.

”You’re awake,” he said, a look of surprise on his face. You tried to stand up and walk to him but failed, Dimitri ran in and caught you before you fell over. “I thought I was going to lose you, (Y/N),” he said, lifting you up effortlessly, settling you gently onto the bed and pulled up a chair.

As cautiously as you could, you managed to sit yourself up. You kept a careful eye on the young king, noting how dark the circles under his eyes have become and how hollow his cheeks have turned. The fact that rest had eluded him for however long you were unconscious was as plain as day.

“You nearly died because of me. I have no right to be... you of all people shouldn’t-!” He managed to say, his voice shaking as his fingers trembled.

His head shot up to look at you, cerulean blue eyes dampened by tears that pooled in them. Your eyes were open, though weakly, looking at him and his disturbed state. You sensed his worry, but also his relief as he hovers next to your bed, engulfing you in his embrace and squeezing you against his chest for all he was worth. He was mindful of your wound, but that wasn’t enough to keep him away. No, he needed you. He needed to be beside you, to feel you, to know you were there.

“I’m okay, Dimitri...” You whispered, resting a hand on his chest where his heart thundered. You closed your eyes against him, relishing the feel of his tender warmth.

You felt how hard and rapid his heart was beating, almost deafening. Your arms wrapped around his heaving back weakly, rubbing it soothingly. He pulled you closer in response—closer, closer, closer, until every inch of you was smothered by him. Hesitant, trembling fingers graced your tightly wound bandages and you felt something warm and wet splatter onto your exposed shoulder.

"I could not stand to lose you,” he spoke slowly, holding your hands so tight that it hurts.

“But I fear that I may if I tell you what is on my mind.”

His voice was as quiet as it could be and it made you frown your eyebrows in worry. You were happy to see him alive, that was your goal when you decided to protect him from the approaching enemies. However, seeing him so distraught and afraid twisted your insides uncomfortably. The way he held your hand so desperately, afraid to let go.

“Dimitri.” You call him quietly, which makes him look at you with those gorgeous eyes of him.

You move your hand to his cheeks, caressing his soft skin, trying to bring him even the tiniest amount of comfort. Leaning to give him a soft chaste kiss on his lips. He reciprocated by open-mouthed kiss you with such fervor. There’s an undercurrent of desperation in the way Dimitri kisses you, as if this is the last moment he’ll ever feel it. It’s almost as if it pains him to be this close to you. You were alive, yet he couldn’t help but doubt it. Perhaps it was once again due to the vicious noises he still heard, though faintly. However, he was glad that they allowed him this moment of happiness.

“I won’t leave you, Dimitri.” You promised between ragged breath, your chest heaving.

“We are so close to ending this. Please, promise me you’ll stay safe. Rest, for now, my beloved.” Leaning down, he pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead, holding your hand to his chest. “I promise, I will never let you be hurt for my sake again.” Covering you with a blanket and tucking you into bed to retire for the evening.

---

After your awakening, the Blue Lions and Professor began incorporating regular infirmary visits into their schedule. They showered you with kind, encouraging words and occasionally bore small gifts (flowers and snacks), always encourage you to get better soon. But your most frequent visitor of all was your beloved gentle king.

It was two weeks since you have gotten better. Mercedes promised to take care after your bandages this evening.

“Are you ready, (Y/N)?”

You met Mercedes’ warm gaze with your own. With a firm nod, you replied, “Ready as I’ll ever be, Mercedes.”

The healer moved closer to you, her skilled hands undoing the set of bandages for the last time. Dimitri averted his frantic eyes to the wall when the dressing loosened just enough for your breasts to peak through. A cold, unforgiving breeze whipped the newly exposed skin, jolting a shiver down your spine. Mercedes sighed, slowly traced the scars your chest and stomach.

“I’m sorry but we will never be able to remove the scars. The wounds all healed, but... the scars will never go away completely. I’m sorry (Y/N).”

Your eyes immediately flashed over to Dimitri’s stiffening frame.

“It’s okay. I will never regret such a thing.” You smiled, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear.

“Do you need anything else, (Y/N)?”

“No, I’m all good, Mercedes! Thank you for your help.”

“All right, then. Annette said that she needs my help with her baking this evening. We have to finish it before midnight! Should you need anything, please feel free to call me.” Mercedes gave you last smile before excusing herself politely from your quarter.

“Dimitri.”

His jaw clenched tautly; his eyes crunched into a pain-stricken wince. Refusing to look at your scar, a harsh reminder of his failure.

“Look at me.”

He stilled and won’t budge to look at you.

“I will never regret nor blame you for this. It was my decision and if it means saving you, I’ll gladly do it again in a heartbeat. Or... perhaps.... I can understand if you find that my... scars are disgusting, appalling, even....” you whisper softly, almost inaudible. Your surroundings whizzed right past you before you were unceremoniously slammed into your bed.

“DON’T SAY SUCH THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF!!” He growled “I will not allow you to throw your life away for me. If.. If something ever happen to you.. I’ll live a life worse than death itself, (Y/N).”

Not a moment later did you feel something warm and soft press against your lips. His mouth moved awkwardly yet full of affection. Hands planted on either side of your body, ridding any hope of escape from his ravishing kisses. Dimitri pressed his lips further into yours, swallowing your moans. His lips left yours to trail down around your neck, breasts, and stomach lovingly. “This wounds... I cannot lose you again, my beloved.” His body quivered. The King kissing the scars on your cleavage and abdomen, worshiping them reverently with tender touches, almost like touching a porcelain doll. Afraid to break you with his almost inhuman power. Biting and sucking wherever his heart desired until you were covered in nothing but love bites, leaving you a panting mess.

Dimitri held you in his arms, stroking your hair and mumbling whispers of ‘I’m sorry’. Bittersweet smile formed on his lips. He gazed at you, eyes lidded with desires and need, mixed with guilt and love. “(Y/N)... My beloved...” You pulled away slightly to look up at him and smiled.

“Dimitri...” You cupped his cheek in your hand, in which he immediately melted into.

“I love you, Dimitri.”

He blushed at your words, then it dawned on his realization. Suddenly becoming very aware of the... intimate position you were in. “Um, w-well...” As he came to his full senses he released his hands from you, as though from fire and stuttered, quickly pulling away from your panting form. He wasn’t making eye contact anymore, and you followed his gaze downwards on your body. Oh. Without the dreamlike stupor a d hazy feeling to distract you, you realized just how naked you are. Nightgown pooled beneath your waist. Feeling an onset of bashfulness, you also brought an arm up to cover as much of your chest as you could; despite what you had just done with him, the reality of the situation was catching up to you.

He flinched, breaking eye contact and rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Ah—Urghh!!! I’m sorry, (Y/N)!! I don’t know what came over me but.. but... P-Perhaps we should... stop... before it escalates any further...” The King unclasped his furred cloak hurriedly and put it over your naked body unceremoniously, hiding his flushed crimson face in his hands again, absolutely brutalized with shame.

“Er.. Be certain to rest for now. We may have undone some of your healing.” Then he said hurriedly, almost inaudibly. “When your strength returns to its fullest, we can pick up where we left off. I promise.”

“Fine...” You giggled, finding his attempt at being serious too adorable. The heat and passion was still very visible in his eyes, and it was obvious that anymore teasing on your end would send him over the edge.

“Thank you for this lovely evening, Dimitri.”

You pulled his hand to your lips and give each of his fingers soft kisses, gazing at him lovingly. Dimitri’s jaw and pants tightened, the poor king desperately clinging onto the last thread of sanity and reason which threatened to snap at any moment.

“Good night, my beloved (Y/N).” Casting one last glance at you and bashfully looking down when he caught your eye, the Blue Lions Leader left with a haste that was probably unbecoming of a gentleman, his long legs taking the steps to the second floor dormitory two at a time. He somehow, somehow managed to reach his room without incident or interruption, locking his door behind him, leaning back against it and covering his burning red face with his hands. His body felt like it was on fire; nerve endings alight with sensations he had long believed were dead.

The pit of his stomach tangled in knots when he thought of (Y/N). All he could think about was your pure unadultered love, beautiful (E/C) that is gazing at him affectionately. Goddess, he was such a sinner. It made him want to put his hands on you. All over you. Repeatedly. Savoring the taste of your lips as you moan into his mouth. Feeling your warmth and love. Unclothed. His mind is running wild. This frantic sensation in his blood, while half-forgotten, was not new. It will be another sleepless night for the poor king. And it’s all because of you.

#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #fire emblem three houses #dimitri fluff #fe dimitri x reader #dimitri smut #sfw #fluff #smut #dimitri angst

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harveywritings92 · 3 years

Text

BNHA scenario: you sleepwalk/sleep talk.

Summary: You have a tendency to talk or walk in your sleep, it never really bothered your boyfriend, if you wandered off in your sleep he'd just follow you to make you don't get harmed and take you back to bed, or if you talk in your he'd humor you as he found it hilarious! but tonight was different... this night you seemed to channeled something paranormal and it scares you boyfriend shitless.

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Shigaraki: It was around three am when Shigaraki was woken up by you sitting up in bed, he sighed tiredly assuming you were gonna stand up and walk around for couple minutes then wander back to bed, or you were gonna leave the room and he'll have to go make sure you don't hurt yourself and bring you back himself. After five minutes of you not moving Tomura turned around to look at you...

And was very confused you were obviously still asleep, but you were kind of glaring at something? Shigaraki curiously looked over his shoulder and surveyed his dark bedroom confused at what could be holding your attention and was more so stumped when you slowly lifted up your hand and pointed at the large antique mirror, he had set up near his computer; with this almost frustrated expression. "He won't stop starring..." you deadpanned causing your boyfriend to jump from you suddenly talking...

"W-who won't stop starring?"

"Him, the man in the mirror!

"There's no one in the mirror, y/n"

"The man with no face he's right there...."

You huffed annoyed before laying back down, while Tomura was sitting there looking between you and the mirror shitting brinks! *Wake the fuck up! you think you can just go back to sleep and just leave me on edge like this!* He mentally hissed the froze when he heard a weird scrapping noise coming from the mirror's direction, his red eyes slowly turned to look at the mirror and nearly pissed himself when he saw it the mirror was swaying on the wall right to left, only to stop he made a move like he was gonna get up and check.

"Oh fuck to the no..." he hissed before laying back down hugging you close, Shigaraki nearly smothered you to death with how tight he was holding onto you!

The next day you were confused when you came back to the base to find what looked like a box of glitter and rotten woodchips in the dumpster out back, you went to Shigaraki's room and found the mirror gone! in it's place was a random poster and a shelf filled with video-games, comic books and random liquor bottles, Also you noticed that Shigaraki seemed to be avoiding playing any horror videogames involving ghosts for a while; opting instead to play Animal crossing or Pokémon.

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{Note: Ayane is the default name for the Dabi's daughter reader in the dad scenarios]

Dabi: He was coming in late from a mission, he sat down on his bed taking his boots off and nearly shat himself when he saw a figure standing up in the corner of the room, he quickly turned the lights on to find you just standing there staring dead ahead, he let sigh expecting you to burst out laughing any second now. "Y/n you scared the crap out o-..." You weren't reacting. "Y/n? Fairy?" he stood up and waved his hand in front of your face and noticed your steady breathing, and realized you were sleeping...

Dabi was going to grab your hand when you caused him to jump back, your eyes snapped up to look at him then pointed at the hallway, just in time for Dabi hear giggling and saw what he though was his 2 year old daughter running passed the door. "Ayane?" he called out as he sat you down on the bed and went to get the kid before she hurt herself. "Firefly what are you doing out of-...what the hell?" Dabi trailed off when he saw Ayane peeking out from behind a door, a door that was deadbolted shut, there was no possible way for her to reach the locks let alone open it!

Before Dabi could take another step despite his instinct screaming at him not to, a faint voice whispered in his ear "You not supposed to follow when they call..." Dabi cussed and turned around to see you standing behind him still sleep walking! then you both heard the door "Ayane" was hiding behind slam shut then lock! Scaring the crap out of your husband and waking you and your daughter up, who started crying for you both as she could. "Touya? why am I in the hall-..." You husband didn't answer he just rushed to Ayane's room like bat out of hell!

"Put your shoes and coat on! we're getting the hell outta here!" he hissed at you while carrying Ayane, you did as you were told but kept asking what was going on? "Now!" he barked making you jump from shock, you've never seen him this shaken up before! "I knew this house was too cheap for a reason!" he growled as he strapped your daughter into her car seat, He told you what happened in the car after driving to a gas station a few blocks away, needless to say the three of you spent the night in a roadside motel and the next morning Dabi was looking for the landlord and some priests!

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Izuku: He was woken up by the feeling of being stared at... Izuku woke up and rolled over to see a woman standing over him! He yelped nearly pissed himself before he realized it was you! "Y/n? why are..." his eyes adjusted and he saw the glazed over look in your eyes and realized you were asleep! "What did you have another nightmare again?" he asked getting up holding his hand out to you, but you didn't budge...

His brows furrowed before deciding to try to take you back to your room and got up and went get the door but was shocked to it locked! but if he locked his door then how did you..." Izuku felt his blood go cold as he turned around ready for a fight! only to find...Nothing? but no... Your were just here! he saw you! hell, he felt his hand brush against yours when he got up! he checked his closet, under his bed under his desk, you really weren't there!

Izuku was rightly freaking out as he left his room and went to your room; He started knocking on your door as quietly as possible and waited a few seconds, before he heard you shuffling around as you opened the door rubbing the sleep from your eyes. "Izuku?...that's trippy." You yawned as your boyfriend looked at you confused. "w-what do you mean?" he stammered you were looking mighty creeped out!

"I just had a dream I was in your room and you were staring at me not saying anything, not matter how many times I called your name."

"*goes white as a sheet* h-huh.."

"What? what I say?"

"You...what- I just coming over here to tell you I saw the same thing! Except you were one staring! what the crap?!"

You both started freaking out about the whole situation, before Mr. Aizawa found you both out after curfew; giving you a real reason to be scared!

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Hawks: Hawks was up late finishing up reports when he saw his phone light up, Keigo checked and saw it was a photo of you sleeping... he hummed not really thinking about it, assuming you sent it sleepwalking, it wouldn't be the first time this occurred... and he was going to keep working when the blond froze. *if you were sleeping, who the hell took that photo?!* Something was wrong!? Keigo rushed out of his office and made it to your house out of breath.

Landing in your backyard he approached the back door he saw you cat Mr. Pants sitting outside refusing to go inside even when he saw Keigo, he very carefully opened the backdoor door and was about to hit the lights, when something in his head told him that was bad idea! that's when the smell hit him...Gas! the winged man cussed under his breath and made his way to your room, finding you passed out on the bed, phone resting on the nightstand, he grabbed you and ran out of the house; without even checking to see if someone else was there!

He laid you out on ground outside checking to see if you were breathing... to his relief you were! but barely! Keigo called the fire department and ambulance, while he feathers opened some of the windows in your house to air it out! the fire department determined that the cause for the gas leak was your new stove, one of the hoses wasn't properly installed.

Keigo asked if anyone else was in the house? The firemen looked at each other befuddled. "Sir, Your lady friend there was the only one in the house." the blonds brows furrowed as he looked down at his phone to look at the photo only to find it gone! in fact there was no history of you ever contacting him! Hawks thought he was going insane!

The next morning when he went to the hospital to check on you, he told you about the photo and asked who was at your house. "No one, It was just me and Mr. Pants!" you insisted but then remembered something. "Y-yeah I had a freaky dream, I thought I was sleepwalking around the house, but when I got to my room I saw myself passed out on my bed! I thought it was soo weird I grabbed my phone and...took...a" Hawks finished your sentence. " A picture." Both of you were pretty shaken up by this whole situation and decided not to say anything about it, unless someone brings up the topic of "creepiest thing that ever happened to you?" and the ghost selfie is your go to story!

#bnha fanfiction #bnha scenarios #bnha imagines #dabi x reader #shigaraki x reader #hawks x reader #izuku x reader #izuku midoriya #touya todoroki #keigo takami #shigaraki tomura #tenko shimura #tw: swearing

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ray-ray-writings · 3 years

Text

Catch Me If I Fall-Technoblade

This is a Technoblade x gn!reader in the dreamsmp

Check out my Masterlist here

What was supposed to be a simple mining trip goes horribly wrong when Y/N doesn’t pay attention to their surroundings.

Y/N’s POV

“Be careful” Techno warned, pressing a kiss to my forehead and then one to my lips. I couldn’t help the smile that graced my face, “Will do,” I responded softly, kissing my boyfriend once more before checking to make sure I had all I needed for my trip. Food, wood, torches, and my netherite pickaxe.

When Techno and I had moved out of L’Manberg, a lot of his things were taken before we could pack it up, including his many stacks of diamonds. Techno had a lot to do at our new snowy home, so I offered to go mining for us. Techno was hesitant at first, but after assuring him multiple times I would be fine, he agreed and made me an enchanted netherite pickaxe that had Efficiency V, Fortune III, Unbreaking III, and Mending on it so that it would let me mine faster and wouldn’t break in the middle of my trip.

“You have everything?” Techno asked softly. I nodded with a bright smile, “I do!” I chirped brightly. “Okay… I’ll see you in a few hours?” I hummed in confirmation, “I’ll see you in a few hours.” Techno leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against my lips, I immediately kissed back. A few moments passed before I forced myself to pull away, knowing I would never leave if I didn’t. “I love you so much” I murmured to the pink haired man. A soft blush fell on Techno’s cheeks. Techno pulled me in for a quick hug, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “I love you too, love. More than you’ll ever know.”

Techno released me from the hug causing me to let out a sigh. I took a few steps down into the mine before turning and waving to my boyfriend who remained at the tops of the steps. He immediately smiled softly and waved back. “Bye baby” “Bye love”. Another sigh escaped my lips as I turned back around and continued down the steps, further into the earth.

It didn’t take me too long to get to level 12. I immediately got to work on strip mining. I hit many patches of coal, redstone, iron, and many other ores, but no diamonds. I had been down in the mine for about an hour at this point and had yet to find what I actually came down here for. Which is why I was so excited when the next piece of stone I removed opened a hole to a ravine.

I slightly thanked whoever was above for this. This is the break I was looking for. I quickly removed the other piece of stone that blocked my path and immediately rushed into the ravine. I looked around, making sure to note where the lava was so that I didn’t accidentally walk into it or fall. I quickly decorated my opening with torches so I would be able to tell where I came from so I wouldn’t get lost. After only a few moments in the ravine, I found what I was looking for. “DIAMONDS!” I screeched in victory, rushing toward the patch embedded in the wall of the ravine.

I quickly mined the diamonds and watched with glee as they kept going. Once I was done with the patch, I had acquired 24 diamonds. I let out an excited squeal as I moved further down the ravine to search for more. Another patch came into view and I ran up to it with excitement. I was so absorbed in my excitement of finding diamonds, that I didn’t hear the drop behind me. Maybe had I heard the telltale sizzling of the creeper that had fallen behind, I wouldn’t have taken so much damage. But I didn’t. By the time I realized what was happening, it was too late. The creeper had exploded, sending me forward into the stone hole I had made. My face smashed off of the hard wall and much like the creeper, my back exploded in pain. I couldn’t help the scream that escaped my lips at the blast.

I took a few moments to take some deep breaths before slowly standing up and crawling out of the hole. My legs shook under my weight. “Oh fuck,” I breathed out, my eyes scanning the ravine. A lot of mobs had spawned. A lot of them were ignoring me, but due to the explosion, some had turned to look and found me. As fast as I could, which wasn’t very fast, I turned and limped back toward where I came from, my eyes scanning the wall for my torches.

The sound of footsteps hitting the ground sounded behind me as mobs dropped from above to chase me. My breath quickly as I slowly began to panic. Icy hot fear ran through me as I realized one fatal thing that I had forgotten on my journey. A sword. A bow. An axe. Literally any weapon to protect myself. I forgot it. I didn’t think that I would need it… I’m so dumb sometimes.

The groan of a zombie grew closer and closer. A sharp pain shot through my shoulder as something hit it. I let out a whimper as I turned around and found a zombie right behind me. I took a deep breath and punched the zombie as hard as I could, causing it to stumble back, giving me enough time to escape.

My eyes caught sight of the many torches that outlined my entrance to the ravine causing me to almost cry in relief. I whimpered as I limped faster toward my safe haven, but once again, a sharp pain shot through my shoulder. This pain though caused me to scream. I looked at my shoulder and found an arrow sticking through it, almost causing me to faint. I willed the thought away, knowing that if I did faint, I was a goner and would lose a life. I gritted my teeth and threw myself in the hole I created earlier, immediately turning around to block the path with cobblestone.

Once I knew I was safe, I allowed the tears that had built in my eyes to fall. Everything hurt so much. I had such a long walk back to the stairs out of the mine and then I would have to walk 50 blocks up and 50 blocks home. I placed down a single piece of cobble and took a seat to try and compose myself. I pulled out some of the food I had packed from my inventory.

As I ate, my hand brushed against my nose and when I pulled it away, blood coated my hand letting me know my nose was in fact bleeding from the impact of the wall. The food helped me feel a tiny, and I really mean tiny, bit better. I mentally assessed what was happening in my shoulder before deciding it would be best to leave the arrow in my shoulder so that I wouldn’t bleed out on my way back, no matter how uncomfortable it was. I also made sure to check my inventory and was happy to find the diamonds I had mined safe in my care. I had only found about 40 but there was no way I was spending more time down here to look for more.

After taking the time I needed to calm myself, I slowly stood up and began my long walk back to the stairs. The journey took me about an hour and a half. I had to take it really slow due to my injuries. But I made it to the stairs nonetheless. I almost cried staring up at them though. It took me another half an hour to climb the stairs that normally would have taken no longer than 10 minutes to climb.

By the time I reached the top of the stairs, I was exhausted. I couldn’t walk anymore, but I had to. The house was about 50 blocks away. For some reason we decided to keep the mine and the house separate and now I cursed that decision. I stared at the warm house and almost sobbed at the sight. “TECHNO!” I screamed as loud as I could. The pink headed man was on the front porch doing something. At the sound of my scream the man immediately dropped what he was doing and booked it toward the mine. “Y/N!” He yelled in return.

My legs quivered as he drew closer and when he was right in front of me, they gave out completely. Techno caught me and pulled me as close as he could to his chest, keeping in mind the arrow that was poking from my shoulder. “What happened?!” He questioned in a panic, his eyes scanning over my body. “Mobs.” I whimpered, clutching his shoulders tightly. “I told you to be careful, damnit” He hissed, scooping my legs into his arms and carrying me bridal style to the house. “I was,” I whimpered. My body must have sensed that I was now in a safe place because my vision went black and I completely collapsed into Techno’s arms.

*Small Time Skip*

My shoulder’s cold. That was the first thing I could think of when I came too. What’s on my shoulder? I let out a groan as my eyes fluttered open. I wasn’t in the mine or outside in the snow. I was in Techno and my shared bedroom. I slowly turned my head to look at my shoulder. The arrow had been removed and it was now wrapped in gauze and an ice pack sat on top of it. My throat was dry and my body ached, less than it did, but I was still sore. “Techno?” I croaked, hoping he could hear me.

I didn’t have to wait long. The door swung open within seconds and there stood my pink headed boyfriend. “Y/N” He breathed, rushing toward the side of my bed. He leaned down and pressed a sweet and careful kiss to my lips before kneeling down beside me, clutching my hand tightly. “You scared the hell out of me,” He murmured, pressing a kiss to the back of my hand. “I’m sorry,” I whispered back. Techno let out a small sigh before kissing my hand again. “Don’t be sorry love. It’s not your fault. I should have gone with you or sent you with better protection.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes lovingly, “It’s not your fault” I playfully mocked, bringing his hand to my mouth and kissing it. Techno chuckled deeply at my statement.

“How are you feeling?” He questioned, standing up slightly, his eyes glancing over my injuries. “Okay” I told him, “I’m a bit sore, but okay. I could use a glass of water,” I hinted. Techno chuckled and nodded, “On it,” He quickly left the room and returned with a glass of water. My boyfriend held the glass to my lips and helped me drink. Once I was done, he set the glass down on the nightstand. “Anything else?” he asked. I slowly extended my arms and made grabby hands. Techno laughed and got the hint, crawling in bed beside me. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around me, making sure that what he was doing wasn’t causing me any pain. Once he was sure I was okay, he pulled me close to his chest, pressing kisses on my head. I giggled at the feeling and allowed myself to relax in his arms.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” I whispered. Techno hummed, “Anytime love. I’ll always be there for you. Just try not to scare me like that again. When you fell… I just felt my heart stop. I don’t know what I would do if I lost you.” I nodded slowly into his chest, “I’m glad you were there to catch me when I fell. My legs just gave out. It took me so long to get back up from the mine and I was so tired…” “I’ll always be there to catch you when you fall. Just don’t make a habit of it.” The two of us shared a laugh about that. “I promise,” I murmured, letting out a yawn. “You’re tired, you should sleep more. I’ll still be here when you wake.” Techno murmured in my ear. I let out a tired hum and nodded. “Okay… I love you” “I love you too… so much”

There you have it! I really hope you enjoyed! If you did, be sure to leave a like!!

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neoculturetravesty · 3 years

Text

We met in online class - Part 6

Image adapted from here.

Pairing: Renjun x Reader Genre: College AU, romance, some fluff, lots of angst in this part Warnings: Strong language, descriptions of stress and anxiety, fist fight Word Count: 7.7k

A/N: Buckle up for some angst.

They say when it rains, it pours and Renjun was about to learn the true meaning of this expression.

Throughout his college life, Renjun had heard his share of praise from his professors who would tell him that he was gifted in a way not many artists were. But now that the career drives and job fairs had begun, Renjun learnt that at best, he was average. In the real world, he wasn’t ‘golden hands’ or gifted or anything like it--he was just one in a line of millions. Because in the bigger picture, Renjun’s competition was not just people in his school; he was competing with even better artists from even better universities that had even better skills and even better means. His design professor had very plainly told the class one day that out of all of them, maybe one or two would ‘make it’ in the real world, if they got lucky. So Renjun knew that if had to shut up anyone who ever doubted him, compete with the best and place anywhere solid by the time he graduated, he needed to land a stellar internship.

Not that his current internship was going any better. Renjun learnt that even small studios were a handful and that an internship basically meant being an errand boy. When he had taken on the job, he had fantasized about meeting exciting artists and maybe even helping the chief curate his best work yet. But more often than not, he found that he was sweeping the place down, and if he got lucky, he got to make a few calls to potential clients (who would yell at him before hanging up).

And of course, like any self-respecting college that thrived on the student body’s mental health deterioration, the professors weren’t going any easier on the projects, even with the impending exams.

On top of everything that was happening, Renjun had developed a constant tension in his neck and shoulders. Jaemin reckoned it was because Renjun was hunched over his paintings all the time as he followed the perfect lighting all over the apartment. You, on the other hand, reckoned it was because of all the stress.

“You’re just carrying a lot of anxiety on these gangster shoulders, Huang Renjun.” you had said as you kneaded your knuckles into his hurt one day as you brought him food. Lately, you had taken it upon yourself to make sure that Renjun was eating and staying hydrated through these pressure cooker times. Because when he was left to his own devices, eating would be pretty low on his priority list, simply because he did not have the time for meals. So you’d bring him a snack any time you saw him on campus, and when you didn’t see him, you’d get something delivered to him and if you couldn’t, you’d text him a reminder to eat. But as one would have it during end-of-semester madness, Renjun had received your food more than your company. Because truth be told, you were just as occupied.

Renjun hadn’t seen enough of you in what he was sure was now going to be a good two weeks running because you had way too much on your plate as well. Like Renjun, you too were swarmed by assignments and exams. But other than that, any time he did see you, you were ‘interview dressed’ for all the on-campus drives that were happening in your department. Renjun had come to wish you good luck on one of them and had seen how distracted you looked because apparently, you had pulled some all-nighters to prepare for this. Donghyuck had been the one to tell Renjun about this little bit.

Because when you weren’t studying or giving interviews or working on projects, you were preparing to throw an end-of-semester party with Donghyuck. He had to admit, there had been moments where Renjun had been irritated that Donghyuck would know more about what was happening in your life than did he. But then again, who was to blame for that?

Renjun knew it was no one’s fault but his own. Because that’s the dumb precedent he had set from the very beginning--that he wouldn’t get too close. He was paying that price for it because somewhere along the way, you had begun to confide in Donghyuck more than in Renjun, though this development was gradual and subconscious. He supposed that since you had met him, some part of you had learnt that she was walking into a wall anytime things got deep with Renjun. And there are only so many times that people were willing to walk into walls before they learnt their lesson.

Renjun knew that you were always ready to provide emotional support. But he also saw that when you were the one that needed it, you were subconsciously turning to Donghyuck rather than to him.

And because you weren’t doing so consciously, Renjun couldn’t even be upset with you. Who was he to be upset with you over it in the first place? He had spent all those weeks skillfully blocking you. So, just because he had changed his mind now didn’t mean that he could earn your vents right away. It would take some effort on his part and he acknowledged that.

But it wasn’t you hanging out with Donghyuck that bothered him. It was someone else.

Wong Hendery, it appeared, was always around you these days and for some reason, that really bothered Renjun. You had a lot of friends. You were just the kind of person who made friends wherever you went. His own friends were an example. Lately, any time he ran into his roommates in the living room or kitchen (since all of them were buried in work otherwise), they would inquire about you instead of him. You just made a lot of friends and that was a fact of life that Renjun lived with. And whilst so far, Renjun had been okay with all of them, he had no idea why seeing Wong Hendery around you made him feel some type of way.

And in the strangest turn of events, he had even found himself subtly voicing this to you a couple of times. It had bothered him even more that you had never taken him seriously any time he brought it up. You had either been distracted or disinterested whenever this came up. Or perhaps you had very tactfully been avoiding the subject. You weren’t exactly the scheming type, so Renjun was sure it wasn’t that. All he knew was that at the end of it, he would just end up feeling stupid, because, well… it was a stupid, baseless feeling to have, whatever this was.

All in all, Renjun couldn’t tell what matter it was from the pillage that kept his mood sour these days. His failure in the job fairs, his increasing workload, the impending exams, his lackluster internship, or something else. He recognized that a big part of it had to do with not seeing you enough. He wasn’t going to be the idiot that denied that anymore. Since the party at your parent’s house, he hadn’t had a moment with you where it was just the two of you and you could talk about… well, the two of you. Not seeing you enough was making him sour, he knew that. However, not seeing you enough combined with the fact that Wong Hendery was around you all the time was probably pretty up there as a reason for his bad moods.

The only upside in the end-of-semester times was that the damn virus seemed to be under control. Students could now more freely move about and a lot more cafes and parks had reopened. So, at the very least, Renjun could get a change of scenery whilst he painted or studied because he was getting tired of his apartment and the library and the damn studio.

Today, he had just grabbed his things and sent you a very persuasive text, because really, enough was enough. Yes, you were both very busy. Yes, you didn’t have any time today. But you could at least give him one study date out in the sun, and finally, for the first time in two weeks, he had felt that happiness in his chest when you told him you’d come.

The two of you sat by the river as Renjun sketched and made notes and you typed away on your laptop. Your hair was done up in a bun and you wore the campus hoodie and you didn’t even look up from your work when Renjun leaned over to feed you some rice. It had made Renjun smile. You looked like every boy’s fantasy of a college girlfriend but thinking about it also made his heart a tiny bit heavy. Because after all this time, the two of you still hadn’t had that conversation. Come to think of it, the two of you hadn’t even kissed ever since that afternoon in the strawberry fields. And maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t sat with you like this in a couple of weeks, or maybe it was seeing you share your time with other people. But Renjun felt that he had to address the some elephant in the room sooner rather than later. Because he didn’t want a some relationship any longer. He wanted more.

“No one’s going to be happier than me when this semester is over.” you mutter as you chew onto whatever Renjun had fed you.

“You and me both. Let’s celebrate our freedom together when it ends.” Renjun suggests as he sits up to stretch his neck.

“Done deal.” You look up from your laptop to give him a fist bump.

“Hey, I was thinking…” Renjun hesitates. “Let’s go somewhere together. After the semester is over.” He feels butterflies in his stomach even as he asks you that. And he knows why. Because this is the first time he’s asking you for a real date, where he wants to take you out for your company, no opportunistic strings attached. But also, he wants to take you away from everyone else where he would have all of your attention and he could finally tell you how he really feels.

You smile as you shuffle your notes. “Where do you wanna go?”

“Anywhere. We could go to the beach and go mudflat fishing. If that’s not your thing, we could go camping instead.”

You finally look at him and smile an undistracted, attentive smile. “I’d like that.”

Renjun looks at you softly as he returns your smile. “My exams end before yours. Let’s go right after your last exam.”

“Oh, I can’t go then.” You say, shaking your head quickly.

“Why?”

“Haechan and I are hosting the end-of-semester, remember?” you remind him and Renjun holds himself back before he could exhale over ‘Haechan and I’.

“Okay, how about the day after?” Renjun asks.

“I can’t go then, either. Hendery and I have to go visit the tower.” you tell him.

This time, Renjun can’t hold back. Because ‘Hendery and I’ was way, way worse than ‘Haechan and I’. Before he could stop himself, he finds himself commenting

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with Wong Hendery, huh?” he hadn’t meant for that hint of accusation to lace his tone, but it had come out that way.

“Ughhhh, tell me about it. He says he’d basically be happy never seeing me again once all of this is over.” you say as you steal his bowl of rice and begin stuffing your face. Renjun feels that irritation again because as always, you seem to be blowing this topic off. But for some reason, he doesn’t want to let it go today.

“I just don’t trust him.” Renjun says and he finds himself clenching his jaw a little.

You look at him from above the rice and smile amusedly. “Why though? He’s a cool dude.”

“I don’t know. There’s just something about him. I just… I don’t know, I guess it’s a guy’s instinct.” he says, and like anytime he has brought up this subject before, he’s feeling incredibly dumb.

You raise an eyebrow and look away from him. You don’t seem very impressed by the comment. “Nah, he’s super cool and all of that. You can meet him if you like.” you say in a tone that is way too nonchalant for Renjun’s liking.

He had met him before, of course. But he didn’t know Wong Hendery even if he did know Wong Hendery. So how could he tell you that the man was bad news based on just a feeling? ‘He’s using you! Why don’t you see that he’s using you!’ Renjun wanted to yell at you. But he says something else.

“Just, like… I don’t know. He just seems mysterious and unsharing.” Renjun tries to explain.

“So are you.”

There is a moment of silence as Renjun feels a sting and you look at him with no expression.

You were right.

Renjun hadn’t shared anything about himself with you. The things you knew about him was information you had probably collected through his friends. The only time he had really opened up to you was that one night in his room. Suddenly, more than irritation, he feels angry with himself.

What a stupid, stupid, stupid idea it had been to set those dumbass rules with you. How had he expected it would pan out? How did he think he could use you as a means to an end, but not learn anything about you or give away anything about himself? He hadn’t thought this through at all. Then again, he hadn’t expected for it to go on this long; and he most certainly hadn’t expected that he would end up falling for you.

“I just… I don’t trust him around you.” Renjun admits and this time, he has the decency to sound a little ashamed.

“I know how to take care of myself, Renjun.” you tell him quietly.

Renjun looks away because for the first time since he’s known you, you’ve spoken to him that way. He wants to scream and pull his hair because no. You don’t. You don’t know how to take care of yourself. How could he tell you that you weren’t the best judge of character? How could he tell you that you allowed people around you to take advantage of you?

‘It’s why you’re sitting here with me’ Renjun thinks with another sting. He knew Hendery was up to no good with you because he himself had been one of those people that used you for their own gain. He had used your kind heart and your willingness to see the good in people for his own stupid plan. The stupid, dumbass, flawed plan that he hadn’t thought through in the slightest. He had thought he had, because Renjun always assumed he was smarter than everyone in any room. That was probably his dumbest yet most defining trait; as kindheartedness was yours.

As if to add insult to injury, your phone rings and Wong Hendery’s name shines cockily onto your screen, mocking Renjun in all its glory.

“Hey, are you here?” you say as you pick up. You look around till you spot him and wave at him “Okay, coming!”

Renjun looks to where you had signaled and sees Hendery in his bigass car. He notices Renjun looking, waves at him and smiles.

Renjun’s eyes close and he takes in a deep breath as you begin collecting your things. He doesn’t know why he’s being this way. He had been jealous before; he was an openly bitter person, that much he knew about himself. He despised every other asshole that did better than him. But this was a kind of jealousy he had never really experienced before. He wanted to protect you, but he also wanted to keep you… because now, he could feel you slipping away from him.

“I’ll call you, okay? Make sure you eat dinner.” your voice sounds a little resigned and suddenly, Renjun feels his heart drop. It’s a strange feeling, but there it is in the pit of his stomach. Renjun realizes that the feeling really closely resembled fear. And it’s because you’re leaving like this.

Had this been your first fight? Maybe it had. It hadn’t felt like a fight, because Renjun has fought with a lot of people before, and this was nothing like that. There was no screaming, no gaslighting, no accusations. But it was the tone you had taken with him. Like you were disappointed. Like you expected better. You had never taken that tone with him before. So as you stand up to walk away, Renjun grabs your hand. He looks up from where he sits.

“Hey…” his heart is sinking, he has this awful feeling in his chest and now he no longer knows what to say to keep you. So he brings your knuckles to his lips and presses into them for a few moments before he looks back at you. “Are we good?” He wants to kiss you, he wants to take you in his arms and kiss you and know that nothing has changed. But he knows that Wong Hendery is sitting right there and he doesn’t want you to think that he’s putting on a show of jealous, testosterone fueled possession.

He watches as your face softens. You crouch so your face is levelled with his. You keep holding your bag that’s slung over your shoulder with one hand. With the other, you gently hold onto his cheek and lean in to press a soft kiss to his lips.

“We’re good.” you say and you smile and then you lift back up to turn around.

Renjun watches unmoving as you walk away from him and drive off with Wong Hendery. He keeps watching till the car makes a turn and disappears from view.

Though you had told him that you were good, that sinking feeling hasn’t left his chest. Because Renjun realizes that what you had done had felt a lot like a goodbye kiss.

Renjun doesn’t get time to dwell on his aching heart too much, because soon after, exams begin.

It is as if a lull had taken over the entire campus. Everyone around him had their heads down as they studied and slept and slept to study. Jeno and Jaemin had taken over the living room table as they crammed and kept each other awake through their all-nighters. Jisung would try to take some motivation from them but the boy had never been too fond of studying, so he’d end up asleep on the couch whilst Jeno and Jaemin took the floor. Even Donghyuck--who had insofar made it through college based on pure intelligence--could be seen bent over his notes in the library. For a week, each student on campus had a similar schedule; like someone had hit the pause button on everything else in life.

Perhaps it had been the exam stress. Perhaps it was everything that was happening culminating in Renjun’s mind, but that sinking feeling hadn’t completely dissipated from his chest. He had no way to explain what it was or why it was. But if Renjun had to describe it, it was as if a sixth sense was warning him. What the warning was about, he had no idea.

But as fate would have it, Renjun’s hardships were only beginning. Because right before his first exam, he had received a call from his mother.

He had picked up because this had been maybe her third phone call to him this entire year. But two minutes into the call, Renjun wished he hadn’t.

Questions were asked as if out of duty: if he was still in school, if he was still living with his friends, if he was looking for a job. And though Renjun hadn’t even asked for it--how she couldn’t send him money for the next couple of months because the Covid situation wasn’t doing any wonders for their restaurant. Although the conversation hadn’t even lasted a full 10 minutes, Renjun’s mind was fully fucked by the end of it. Why the fuck did she have to play with his head like this, just when he was about to go in for an exam?

He shouldn’t have been surprised. His mother had a way of sensing any time her son was emotionally strained, because she would always show up right on time to add to his burden. This is how it had been most of his life. She would appear usually when Renjun was at his lowest and remind him that he was a useless fucker that nobody cared about. And because she was his mother, she knew exactly what buttons to press to positively fuck him over.

Fuck this. None of it was fair. It wasn’t fair that she had called him after months and months. It wasn’t fair that she didn’t even want to know how he was doing. A global pandemic had turned the world upside down and she didn’t even want to know if her son was surviving through it. She just wanted to call to give him another reminder that she couldn’t take care of him. Fuck that. Fuck her. Fuck everything. Renjun didn’t need her or his father or anyone else ever again. Fuck all of it.

Renjun had hung up bitterly and that should’ve been the end of it. But for some reason, she had kept calling after that, which made Renjun throw his phone against a wall. Fuck that. She doesn’t get to call him to rub more salt to his wounds. He wasn’t going to give her that satisfaction.

It’s funny how when you’re truly feeling fucked, you tend to isolate yourself from the people who really care about you. And that’s what Renjun ended up doing following that phone call. Almost as if in self-sabotage, he started avoiding everyone and hid himself away. Because no way did anyone really need him, anyway. Renjun knew that even in his friend group, he was the one the others could do without.

Jeno and Jaemin had one another. They would babysit Jisung well enough, and when they didn’t, Jisung had Zhong Chenle. His housemates didn’t really need him, so hiding from them was easy. Lately, he had also stopped hanging out with Yangyang because he was afraid he’d run into Hendery. Lee Mark hadn’t really hung out with him ever since he joined the 127s. And Donghyuck… well, he had you.

So even you could do without him. You had been doing just fine without him these past couple of weeks. You had still been bringing him snacks, even after that study date. But Renjun wondered if that was because of your bad, kind habit rather than anything else. Truth be told, Renjun didn’t want your snacks anymore. Because each time he got them, it reminded him that he was nothing special to you. He wasn’t any different to you than Jaemin or Jeno or Donghyuck. He was just another guy that you were kind to out of habit. Fuck that. He didn’t need your kindness, or anyone else’s. He was fine on his own.

But on the night after his last exam, he finally picked up the phone he had thrown and read his messages through his cracked phone screen. Just to see if someone missed him. As expected, no one did. But there were some messages from you.

‘Hey shoulder gangster, remember to put on pain patches before you sleep!’

‘I ordered some chicken for you guys, eat well and study well.’

‘Hey, I tried calling you. I had gotten you coffee, but I couldn’t find you so now hyuckie is drinking it.’

‘Ayo. I hope your exam went well. Sending some Chinese food over, so eat before you study!’

‘Hey, Jaemin told me your phone is busted. Idk if you’re gonna see this message, but just wanted to know you’re doing well.’

‘I tried to see you before you went in for your exam but Jeno said you had already left.’

‘Hey… I hope you’re not still upset with me. I’m gonna stop bothering you so we can both study, but I’ll come see you soon.’

‘Okay, I guess i’ll see you after exam week? Meet soon.’

That was the last of it. After that, you hadn’t sent him anything at all. Even you had stopped reaching out to him.

It seemed that when it came down to it, no one would ever fight for Renjun. No one would want to find out why he was in hiding, or why he hadn’t replied. When worst came to worst, Renjun was always left to fend for himself. He was all alone in this world.

Jeno and Jaemin would always know what the other was feeling without having to use the words. Neither of them had to explain to the other what was on their mind. They just… knew. When one was in trouble, the other would come running. When one was down, the other would pick him up. Neither had to ask; the other would just sense it and be there. Jisung and Chenle had a similar connection.

But no one ever sensed Renjun’s heart. No one just knew when he was sad or upset or angry or in trouble. No one would pick him up because no one loved him enough to know his mind. No one had ever paid any real attention to him to know when he was struggling. No one had ever held his hand and taken him out of his despair. No one would even notice that he was in despair. Because he wasn’t anyone’s special anything.

He had been hiding away for an entire week and no one had even noticed his absence. No one had called in to check on him. Because no one really needed him. Not his friends, not his family. Not even you.

They say when it rains, it pours, and Renjun was about to learn the true meaning of this phrase. Because just when he is about to put his phone away, he receives a text from his mother.

‘Renjun, I didn’t want to tell you this way. But you’re not picking up my calls. Come see me. Your father and I are getting a divorce.’

Renjun had never really been a big drinker. He’d drink some with the boys every now and then. But that was it. But tonight was an exception. Tonight, it was okay to turn to the drink. Tonight, he wanted to forget.

After the kind of day he had had, he thought that even his demons could give him a break. He felt drained. Like his mind was slowly giving up and his body was doing all the heavy lifting. Putting one foot in front of the other. Making him breathe in and out. Keeping his heart beating. It would be doing his mind a favor, drinking. His mind needed numbing, then maybe his body could follow.

He walks into the bar a broken man. And he wonders if that’s how all men are when they walk into bars. Maybe that’s why men who walk into bars make such good punchlines for jokes. He certainly felt like one. Because the people that should love him seemed to treat him like one. Who was he to think any better of himself?

He had made peace with the fact that his parents never wanted him. He had accepted that they were happy to get rid of him. Then why did he still expect their love every single time? What was it that made him go running to them any time they asked? Why had he expected that somehow visiting them would fix everything?

Had he expected that they would sit him down and peacefully explain why they were parting ways? Of course, he hadn’t. Had he expected that his mother would cry and apologize for putting him through this? Of course, he hadn’t. Had he expected that his father would own up to his mistakes and call him his son? Of course, he hadn’t.

But he also hadn’t expected that neither of them would want anything to do with him after they parted ways. He hadn’t expected to be the collateral damage of a failed marriage that neither party was willing to own. He hadn’t expected to be summoned just so his parents could have a screaming match about whose son he’d be after they divorced. And that both would want to shift that burden to the other.

It suited them, Renjun thinks as he downs whatever the bartender had handed him. It would’ve been more unsettling to have made the trip to find something understanding and amiable. This was on-brand for them. This is how it had been since he was a child. They’d fight and Renjun would be collateral damage. This was the perfect ending to their twenty-one year old saga. Renjun had expected it.

So, why was he feeling like he had lost everything?

“Huang Renjun?” he hears a voice call out to him as if from miles away. Was he drowning? Then why did he feel like he couldn’t breathe? Why did the voices around him sound like they were coming from far away?

“Yoo Jimin.” Renjun finds himself automatically answering. He looks up and let’s his eyes focus and there he finds her. He smiles. Of course. Who else would’ve been the guest of honor in his pity party?

“What are you doing here?” she asks him and Renjun finds himself making a face.

“Drinking.” he says as he lifts up his shot glass.

“Did you follow me here?” she asks cryptically. Typical. Of course everything had to be about her.

“How would I know you’d be here?” Renjun says, looking away as he downs another shot.

“I told everyone at the party I was leaving to be here.” she says and her eyebrow is cocked as she comes closer.

“Party?”

“Haechan’s party? All your friends were there. Weren’t you there?” she asks cautiously.

Ah, yes, the party. The end-of-semester party. Here he was, drinking his pain away. And his friends, the people who should be concerned about him were partying. It was all very fitting he supposed. This perfectly fit into everything in his life at this moment. Including the fact the Yoo Jimin had been the one to find him when he was at his lowest.

“I didn’t feel like a party.” Renjun replies.

Jimin scoffs. “Typical. Of course Huang Renjun thinks he’s above a party everyone would enjoy.”

Renjun doesn’t answer. It’s an annoying remark and part of him wonders why it is irking him so. His heart was burdened by bigger things. Perhaps his mind thought that being annoyed at Yoo Jimin was an easier emotion to address. This was an emotion he understood. It was an emotion he could process right away. So he turns to her and finds her sitting on the stool next to him.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, because really. Why is she here, talking to him, sitting next to him?

“Oh, don’t worry, Renjun. I’m only waiting for someone.” she says, rolling her eyes and flipping her hair.

“You can wait for someone over there.” Renjun points to a place far away with his glass.

“Okay, you don’t have to be an asshole. I just came in to see why you were drinking alone while all your friends are at that party.” she says and now more than agitation, Renjun feels anger.

“Why do you care if I drink alone, anyway? You’re the one that broke up with me.” he spits out.

“Renjun, seriously, what is your problem? I’m only trying to be nice to you. You don’t have to come for me like that.” Jimin’s eyebrows are high on her forehead as she matches Renjun’s tone.

“Well, thanks a lot, Yoo Jimin. Thank you for your gift of empathy, but I don’t really need it. Not after everything you did to me.”

“Renjun! Seriously, what is it that I did to you? What did I do to you?” she raises her voice in agitation.

“Well, other than abandoning me? Pretending that you were happy with me then pulling the rug from under my feet and breaking up with me? Not even waiting a month before moving on?” Renjun spits venom right back. Who did she think she was, coming here and speaking to him like that?

“Jesus Christ, Renjun. Would you listen to yourself? Does it ever occur to you that you could’ve been the asshole in this relationship? That maybe I broke up with you because you were the jerk?” Jimin’s face is contoured as she yells at him. It’s good that the bar is relatively full, otherwise this could’ve been a scene.

“I was nothing but nice to you. I treated you so well and you treated me like dirt!” Renjun hisses.

“Renjun, that’s your problem! You only see the faults in others and never in yourself! But you’re not ready for that conversation, so let’s not have it!” she yells and turns away from him, crossing her arms over her chest.

“No, no, by all means, let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about all the times I mistreated you, please.” Renjun mocks. He was already too used to being gaslighted by his parents. Jimin could join that club. This was already the worst day of his life. It couldn’t possibly get any worse.

“Renjun, this! This right here. You never respected me. You never treated me like an equal. With you, I always felt like some stupid, airheaded trophy. I always felt like everything I wanted was superficial and shallow and not worth anything!”

“And whose fault is that.” Renjun laughs darkly.

“Renjun, you can’t even see what you’re doing! You just think you’re so much better than everyone else! You think everyone around you is a degenerate and that you’re the smartest person to ever walk this earth. I can’t believe I let you treat me that way for so long.” Jimin’s hands go from balling into fists to animatedly helping her point. “Renjun, I wanted to be a model for the longest time. But I didn’t, because of you! Because every time I’d post a picture on my Instagram, you’d tell me it was because I love getting validation from strangers. Every time an agent reached out to me, you’d tell me how showing off my looks wasn’t going to be a long lasting career. You just never respected me or my aspirations. Because all of them were so beneath Mr. Intellectual.”

Renjun turns away. He pours himself another shot and downs it. He didn’t want a lecture. Who was she to show up like this and give him a lecture unprovoked?

“If it weren’t for Jongin, I would’ve believed everything you ever said to me. That people would only like me for my looks. That what I wanted to do was superficial and shallow and that I would never amount to anything if I followed my heart.” she goes on and Renjun has had enough.

“Save it, Jimin. We’re broken up now, so what does it matter?” he doesn’t look at her. She could yell at him all she wanted. He wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of a reaction.

“I only came to you because I saw you drinking alone. And I know that’s not like you. I just wanted to see if you’re okay.” her voice has lowered significantly, but the agitation hasn’t left her tone. Renjun wonders if she has more to say, because he certainly doesn’t want to listen to any more.

“Well, that’s very kind of you, but I’m fine on my own.” he says coldly, still not looking at her.

Jimin sighs. “Renjun, when will you realize that the whole world isn’t out to get you? I know your family isn’t perfect. But you’ve got friends that care about you. You’ve got people around you that love you. If only you could stop being an asshole to them for one hot minute and see that.”

Renjun still doesn’t turn. Because she doesn’t know anything. She doesn’t know his life. She doesn’t know how alone he feels. She doesn’t know jackshit about what he goes through, what he has been going through. Who is she to comment on his life and stand there like that and lecture him? She didn’t know anything. Fuck her for making him feel like he was the asshole. The world was taking a giant dump on him, and she was making him feel like he was the asshole. Fuck that.

She grabs her purse and gets off the stool. “I’ve got to go now. I just hope you feel better. Whatever it is that you’re going through. Please don’t go through it alone, Renjun.” she says before she walks away.

Renjun feels a lump in his throat. How could he not go through it alone? Who was going to be by his side? No one. So what use were his tears? He wouldn’t let them fall. He swallows that lump away, and when it doesn’t work, he takes another shot. He didn’t want to be here anymore. He could just go home and sleep. Maybe that would work. The alcohol wasn’t numbing anything. It was just making him more bitter, but for more reasons than what he had come in with.

So he finds himself walking home. Putting one foot in front of the other. Breathing in and out. Keeping his heart beating.

He felt so alone. Was he the loneliest man in the world? He could bet money that he was. No one knew what he was going through. And that’s what made him feel most abandoned. But then again. Fuck that. He didn’t need anyone. What good were friends anyway? Friendships really meant nothing. Renjun finally realized that what he had were not friends, but connections. Because at the end of the day, that’s what this goddamn college life was all about. Making as many connections as you possibly could, so you could reap advantages from them later on life. All of his relationships were opportunistic. And realizing this was giving him the worst headache of his life. Like all the alcohol was thrumming in his head and blinding him.

He arrives at his doorstep, punches in his code, walks in and freezes at what he sees.

Jeno, Jaemin, Jisung, Donghyuck, Zhong Chenle and you were all in the living room, drinking and eating and laughing. None of them had even noticed that Renjun had walked in. Because they were all too busy bellowing together.

Suddenly, Renjun feels his blood boiling hot in his veins. How dare they. How dare they look like one big happy fucking family right in front of him. Renjun pushes back all emotions he’d been feeling and holds onto one: red hot burning anger. He heads in.

“Hey, hey! Look who’s finally back!” Donghyuck says mid-laughter as he finally notices him. “Come join us because Mark is passed out on your bed, by the way.” he laughs but his smile slowly fades as he watches Renjun’s expression.

“You okay, man?” Jeno asks slowly.

The others slowly start reading his energy as well because his demeanor has gotten everyone’s attention. Renjun wants to pick a fight. He wants to fight with all of them for not being there for him. But he looks around for an easy target. Someone he can direct all his ruthless anger towards. And his eyes zero in on you.

“What are you doing here?” Renjun asks you urgently. Like you’ve done something wrong.

“I just got you some food. We all thought we’d eat with you since you didn’t come to the party.” you say and you get up smiling and take Renjun’s wrist “Come, sit.”

But Renjun roughly snatches his hand away from your grip, making you look up suddenly. Your eyes are round, but you don’t look angry. You perhaps look shocked, but mostly concerned. And that makes Renjun want to hurt you more.

“You can’t just show up here unannounced. I didn’t invite you here.” Renjun spits at you.

“Hey man, easy. We invited her.” Donghyuck gets up and puts himself between the two of you.

“Well, this is not your house, either! You can’t just invite her without asking me.” Renjun scowls at the boy.

“Renjun, I just got you some food. I just wanted to make sure you had eaten.” you say gently, stepping up from behind Donghyuck to speak to him.

“Y/N, you are not my girlfriend. So stop acting like it.” Renjun snaps and he finally watches the hurt he wanted to see on your face. He also sees Jisung’s scared expression and Jaemin’s disappointed one.

“I…” you begin “... I know… I just… I came here with the guys… I…” you begin, but Renjun yells again.

“You need to leave. You can’t just show up whenever you want.” Renjun continues and takes a step forward but Donghyuck holds a protective arm in front of you. Whoop-dee fucking doo. Now his friends thought he was some sort of a savage.

“No, Y/N, you shouldn’t leave.” He says then turns to his friend. “Dude, what is your problem?” But Renjun keeps attacking you.

“These people are not your friends, okay? They are my friends. You’re crossing a line and you need to leave right now.” Renjun loves the reactions he’s getting. He loves that he has provoked every single person in the room. Because Jaemin has gotten up and taken your hand protectively whilst Jeno has joined Donghyuck in blocking you from his view.

“Hey, man. Easy.” Jeno warns. Jisung and Chenle watch this strange confrontation with worried looks on their faces, eyes darting between him and the others. Renjun can’t believe it. All his friends were protecting you. All of them. He was the fucking monster in this room, too.

“Renjun, I just… I just came here to see you.” you say, but there’s no accusation in your tone. Just annoying, tiresome understanding. He fucking hates it and all his friends can see that he does.

After everything he had been through, after all his life was putting him through, he was the asshole, he was the monster once again.

Well, then. If everyone thought him a monster, he should become it completely.

“Y/N.” Renjun laughs as he looks away. Then he looks at you with that sinister smile still on his face. “Y/N, the only reason I’ve kept you around for so long is because I wanted to get to your brother. So you can leave now.”

That did it.

Because Donghyuck’s eyes have closed as he stands in front of you and Jeno’s eyes have widened. Jaemin just looks shocked as he holds onto your hand. As do Jisung and Chenle. But you.

Your face has hardened. He doesn’t see shock or disappointment or the kind of reaction that would’ve given him full satisfaction. He sees your stone face as you finally say something with a hint of venom in your tone.

“Well, in that case, Renjun, you’ve been wasting your time. Because I got you a slot with my brother right after our first date.”

Renjun stands speechless.

He would’ve remained speechless if you hadn’t pushed past Jeno and him and headed straight for the door.

“Y/N!” Donghyuck calls out and goes after you. Renjun watches the others. Jaemin and Jisung have looked away and he sees nothing but pure disappointment on their faces. Jeno, on the other hand, is looking straight at him. Renjun looks back. Good. He wants everyone to hate him. This was exactly right.

He hears Donghyuck barge back into the apartment as the door bangs shut behind him.

“Dude what the fuck is wrong with you?!” He yells and Renjun finds himself shoving the boy, pushing him so he wasn’t in his space.

“What’s wrong with me? Please, Donghyuck. Don’t even pretend like you haven’t been using her the same way I’ve been. You’re not any better.” Renjun punctuates the last bit with another shove and Donghyuck grabs at his collar and roughly pulls him by it. Before it can escalate, Jeno and Jaemin rush forward to break the two of them apart. Jeno grabs onto Renjun, Jaemin onto Donghyuck, prying him off and creating some distance between the two. Jisung and Chenle look from the couch, mouths hanging open, visibly distressed.

“You didn’t have to do that, man. You didn’t have to be an asshole to her.” Donghyuck accuses as he tries to free himself from Jaemin’s grip and come face to face with Renjun again.

Renjun laughs bitterly. “Well, now that I have been, you can have her. Live your happy fucking life.” Renjun spits at him and he gets the reaction he was looking for because it makes Donghyuck lunge at him once again, making Jaemin tighten his grip and pull him back.

“What is wrong with you? You fucking asshole! Why do you think everyone’s out to get you? Stop acting like a little bitch and start acting like a man for once!” Donghyuck shouts and that does it.

Renjun feels his headache blinding him. And yet, he doesn’t know how he frees himself from Jeno��s grip. But before he knows it, he has balled his hand into a fist and aimed it straight for Donghyuck’s face.

#renjun fic #renjun angst #renjun fluff #ficscafe #kpopscape #neowritingsnet #dreamwritersnet #huang renjun #renjun #nct fic #nct fluff #nct angst #nct #nct dream #nct college au #renjun x reader #we met in online class

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julemmaes · 3 years

Text

Payback

Rowaelin Month, Day Five

A/N: Yall I'm dying. I didn't even wanna write today and I kinda forced myself to and I'm not proud of myself for this but I just wanted you to have something so yep. Tomorrow's will be a lot angstier and sadder than this one, so soak up the very light fluff I'm giving you till you can

Signing off, goodnight yall

Word count: 3,614

Aelin hated the underground car park reserved for the residents of her building. It was dark, so narrow that you had to do at least a hundred swerves to avoid taking any corner and scratching off half your car, and it was impossible to find a spot when everyone came home in the evening after hours and hours in the office and parked as they saw fit while still thinking about the thousands of pieces of paperwork that would be waiting for them at their desks only nine hours later, sometimes taking up more than two spots at once.

The only reason she still tried to park down there was that there was a flock of pigeons in the trees just outside their block of flats, on the main road, which had made a nasty habit of shitting on anything - or anyone, on some unpleasant occasion - that stopped for more than five minutes under the thick branches. A perfect hiding place for birds, that no one had thought to warn her about when she had moved in only a few months earlier.

She had deemed herself lucky the night before, when she had returned before anyone else and found the lot completely empty. She'd been so happy that she'd driven around a bit down there just for the hell of it. She'd pulled up next to the exit, thinking it would be easier to get out the next morning.

She hadn't anticipated the three assholes who had parked so as to block her path in every conceivable way.

She grunted, banging her fist against the steering wheel when she realised she still wasn't clear, and put the car into reverse for the twelfth time, before changing gear and driving three inches forward. And so on, and on, and on, until she managed to steer the face of the car towards the exit and let out a satisfied howl.

She started up the slope towards the road, taking her eyes off the driveway and distracting herself for a moment to choose which radio to listen to, when the car hit something and the dull sound of the bang echoed throughout her body, propelling her forward.

Aelin squealed, hitting the brakes hard enough to cause a high-pitched squeal, and soon the smell of burnt plastic filled her nostrils.

The car shut off and she pulled the handbrake vehemently, getting out of the car and trying to figure out which wall she had hit, already cursing every deity that had ever existed. She didn't have enough money to afford a repair, and she knew perfectly well that the dent would be there for months before she let any of her friends help her.

She wrinkled her brow, noticing how no side of the car was touching walls or columns.

"What the..."

And then she heard it, a grunt of pain.

She opened her eyes wide, running around the car and finding a man on the ground.

To the view of a head full of stark white hair, the fear she’d just ran over one of the oldies that lived on her floor stuck her. But then the person got up on their elbows and she let go of a sigh of relief.

But still, she had just runapartment someone over. She hurried his way.

"Oh, fuck." said Aelin, approaching the stranger. The man pulled himself up to sit, bringing a hand to his face, on his cheek, where a cut was bleeding profusely on his shirt.

"Holy shit." muttered the guy, looking up at her, "That hurt."

Aelin was frozen in time, her hands to her gaping mouth, looking for the right words.

When he tried to stand, swaying a little, she pushed through the fog in her mind and truly looked at him, searching other injuries, but not failing to notice his sheer handsomeness.

The man looked like he’d been made in heaven.

She shook her head, mentally reprimanding herself – now was not the time – and started talking.

“I’m so so so sorry. I didn’t see you there and- oh god, you’re bleeding. You need me to rush you to the hospital? Fuck, you think you broke something?” the words just kept flowing and flowing. “Where were you even going? Why didn’t you just got out of the main entrance? This fucking parking lot. I swear we have to call the landlord and have him put some lights down here. Your shirt,” she grimaced, eyeing the blood standing out on the white fabric. Aelin looked him in the eye, “I have a very similar one upstairs? You want me to go fetch it for you, I could-”

“Jesus Christ!” he yelled, putting his hands in between them, forcing her to step back, “Shut the fuck up!”

Aelin’s mouth closed shut and her eyebrows raised so high she felt her skin pull on her temples. She crossed her arms over her chest. Her eyes popping out.

This man. Sure, she’d just ran him over, but no one had ever talked to her like that.

“I’m fine.” he grumbled, “And I live in this building, I’ll go take my own shirt, thank you.” He took a deep breath, brushing off his trousers and bending to gather his stuff that had scattered around during his fall. When he lifted his head again, he gave her a tight smile and his piercing green eyes stared at her with an intensity that had Aelin’s toes curling in her shoes.

“Have a nice day.”

He then proceeded to walk away, leaving Aelin alone in the darkish driveway.

She looked around, hoping to see someone who could confirm that it had just been a figment of her imagination, but there was no one.

Getting back in her car, Aelin started the engine and drove up to the street, chewing on her lips, “What the fuck just happened?”

***

Aelin had thought all day about the mysterious man. She hadn’t been able to focus during her meetings and hadn’t even finished one of her projects. Something that she sure as fuck knew her boss would make her notice and work her ass off to make up for once word got to him.

Her day had started off so bad she knew it couldn’t get any worse, but she’d been wrong.

Her assistant had spilled coffee over her only finished drawing and herself. One of her coworkers had decided today was the perfect day to quit her job and pile her projects on Aelin’s desk. Then she’d gone out for lunch with some of her friends and it had started raining so heavily she’d been forced to stay in the office, only eye-eating the mouth-watering dishes her friends had posted on their instagram stories. They’d made it to the diner just before the sky cracked open.

And, the cherry on top, someone had keyed her car.

She’d been on the verge of tears when she’d spotted the red stains of her neighbor’s blood on the parking lot floor when she got back home, but she didn’t let any fall.

She had a date.

And she wouldn’t let all these little things get to her and ruin what could possibly be the best night of her life.

One of her life-long best friends had set her up on a blind date with one of her boyfriend’s best friends. She’d promised the man was the perfect match, someone Elide thought would keep her on her toes and match her overflowing personality.

Aelin had been hesitant at first when Elide hadn’t wanted to give her a name, or show her a picture, claiming she’d go all FBI style on him and ruin their first meeting, but she’d also promised Aelin she’d met the guy a few times and he’d been nothing but a gentleman.

And she had heard so much of him she felt like she’d known him her whole life.

Some of the things Elide had told her, she’d liked better if she’d found directly from him, but Aelin was a picky woman and she wasn’t risking another date with a creeper.

She pulled up in the restaurant’s parking lot where Elide had reserved the four of them a table and turned off her car, clutching the wheel. She took a deep breath. And another.

She was still a little worked up and all the pent-up emotions of the day were threatening to spill over the surface any minute, but she could make it past dinner and then have her little monthly breakdown in the peace and quiet of her apartment.

She fixed her lipstick, tightened up her ponytail and let two strands of hair cascade on the side of her face. She blew herself a kiss in the mirror, “You can do it.” she whispered as a short pet talk.

She got off the car, pulled out her phone to check if Elide was already inside and she was so focused on the screen she failed to notice someone backing up right in front of her until it was too late.

The car only bumped into her hip, but it was enough to make her lose her balance.

Aelin merely had time to register what was happening that she found herself lying in a puddle of rain and mud. She closed her eyes at the dull pain on the back of her head, but she knew for a fact the hit hadn’t been that bad.

She lifted her arms up, looking down at the wet spots on her dress, darkening by the second. Her seventy euros purse soaking up the water all around her.

The tension behind her eyes just increased when she heard the driver’s door open and someone step out of the car. She couldn’t have stopped the sobs even if she wanted to.

“Miss? Oh god, I’m so sorry. Are you alright?”

Strong arms circled her waist and pulled her up in a standing position. She brought her hands to her face, her body now racked by her crying as she tried to get a handle of herself.

“Miss?” the voice called again, now nearer. “Are you hurt? I didn’t-” the man talking stopped suddenly and Aelin looked up, not seeing anything through the tears. “You.”

And then it hit her.

That voice.

She knew that voice.

She ran her hand over her face, rubbing her eyes and staring right back at the man she had ran over that same morning.

Her mouth fell open.

He was looking at her with an amused expression and Aelin couldn’t find the words once again.

What was it with this man and his ability to take her ability to talk by just showing up?

He had a transparent band-aid on his cheek, his cut far less severe than she had thought, and his eyes were glistening with mirth. He was wearing a simple black pair of jeans and a dark green t-shirt, but he was even more handsome than in his work clothes.

Aelin was taking rushed, trembling breaths, and she was about to kill this man with her bare hands. Shred his skin off his bones and have him beg-

“I guess we’re even now, uh?”

His attempt of a joke flew over her head and she charged at him, a scream lodged in her throat.

His eyes widened and he took a step back when she flung her arm at him, trying to hit him. His hands closed around her wrists, blocking her from causing him more harm that she’d already done.

“You asshole!” she was screaming at the top of her lungs. “You ruined my dress!”

Aelin lifted a leg, more than convinced to kneel his balls, but he managed to block her blow again, infuriating her even more.

“I was about to meet the love of my life and ruined my fucking dress!”

He tried to push her away from him, still squeezing her wrists, and his brow furrowed.

“He’s everything I’ve ever dreamed of. He’s a pediatrician! He loves children! And he has a cute fucking dog my friend said I would love and cuddle the shit out of! Her name is Fleetfoot and she’s a golden retriever and Elide knows I fucking love goldens. And he’s from Orynth, just. Like. Me!” she got louder and louder with every word she spit out. “And he’s tall, and handsome and he’s the perfect match! And I deserved this one night!”

The man was now looking at her with a dumbfounded expression, his hold slightly loosening.

“I’m so done with this dating thing and I’d finally found him and you!” she shoved a finger in his chest, making him retreat a few steps. “You wanted your payback so bad you ran me over with your car!

“And now he’s gonna take one look at me and think I’m a fucking psycho! I bet my hair are the most disgusting thing he’s ever seen and my make up. Oh fuck, I must look like a panda.” Aelin started crying harder, laying her hands flat on the man’s torso, pushing her head to his chest. “I look like a fucking panda.”

She tried to speak again but her mind just couldn’t form any coherent thought, until she felt the man’s arms closing around her shoulders. He stepped closer, running his hand up and down her back, whispering something she couldn’t really hear over her crying.

Aelin didn’t know how much time she spent in the stranger’s embrace, but when the gravity of the scene she’d just made in front of him downed on her, she felt her body flare up in embarrassment.

That was her life now?

Having mental breakdowns in a dark parking lot after someone she’d ran over with her car had returned the gesture and then making them console her?

She detached herself from the man and for a second she thought she’d felt him hesitate before he took a step back. And another, leaving her standing her in her soaking wet dress and her puffy, surely-red eyes. He bent down, picking up her purse and handing it to her.

She lowered her gaze, not even daring looking at his shoes and closed her eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

The man made a sound of surprise, “Why would you be sorry?”

Aelin wished she could die on the spot. Evaporate out of existence.

“For hitting you. Or at least trying. And crying all over you.” she said and then grimaced. She ran a hand over her face. “I just had a very hard day and I wasn’t even sure I wanted to come, but this guy seriously seems like he could be the missing piece to whatever the fuck my puzzle-life is. I didn’t want to take a raincheck and have him thinking I’m not serious about this.”

A beat of silence, “I’m sure he would have understood.”

She shook her head, keeping on talking as if he hadn’t even been there, “And now I can’t go in like this.” she passed her hands on her dress, the tears building up again in her eyes. “Plus, Elide didn’t tell me what he looks like, cause she thinks he’s a real snack and wanted to see my face when I saw him for the first time.” she was bordering on pouting, “That means he’s gotta be smoking hot or I’ll be so pissed at her.”

The man snorted loudly, “A snack.” he hummed, “Maybe I should meet your friend and thank her.”

Aelin’s head snapped up, “Oh no, she’s taken.” she shook her head vehemently, “Like so freaking taken. I swear she and her boyfriend have been together for a whole of three months and they already act like a married couple.”

He nodded, a lopsided smile on his face, “I know the kind.”

She’d been so absorbed by her talking that she hadn’t noticed she’d stopped crying.

She breathed through her nose and clasped her hands together, before reaching one out towards him, “I think introductions are needed. I’m Aelin.” she offered a tentative smile.

His hand engulfed hers, shaking it with impressive gentleness. His smile grew even larger if possible and Aelin was starting to think she was about to het murdered.

But then he said his name and the world ceased existing around them.

Their hands still moving up and down between them.

She tilted her head forward, “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

He licked his lower lip, “I’m Rowan.”

Aelin closed her eyes, holding her breath.

She squeezed his hand before releasing it. She took a step back, wishing for the ground beneath her feet to crack open and just eat her whole.

“I’m gonna go kill myself now, if you’ll excuse me.”

His laugh reached her ears with painful speed.

Rowan.

She couldn’t believe it.

Well, she could. The man laughing his heart out at her expense was probably the most handsome person she’d ever seen in her entire life.

At least Elide hadn’t lied about that.

“A tad dramatic, if you ask me,” he said as his laugh died down. He pointed at the restaurant behind him, “You want me to go fetch the married couple so we can go back at the appartment and you can change? I’m not against you walking in there with this outfit at all,” he gave a pointed look, matched by a shit-eating grin that seemed to be etched in his lips, “I’m not gonna think you’re a psycho, not for this at least, and I’m ready to fight everyone who looks at you the wrong way. But you look like you could use the comfort of a warm house.”

Aelin looked up at him with a questioning look, trying to understand if this man she’d just tried to maul was seriously offering her options, letting her choose after everything that had gone down so far between the two of them. As if still giving her a chance.

Rowan arched a brow, looking around and glancing back at her, “Aelin?”

Oh, fuck.

She had been oh so not ready o hear her name from his lips.

She nodded and he smiled, leaning down a bit.

She could smell his cologne from here.

“Yes to what? Me calling Lorcan and Elide or getting inside even if you dripping wet?”

Holy fucking shit, this man shouldn’t have been allowed to say the words dripping wet.

She stilled herself.

What the hell was she thinking? She brought her hands to her face, “Please call them and let’s head home. I’m so fucking tired.” a yawn broke her sentence, as to prove her words, “And I’m freezing in this skimpy dress.”

Rowan rushed to her side, “Oh, god, sorry for not offering sooner, here,” he opened the trunk of his car and pulled out a huge blue sweater. Without even waiting for an answer he snatched her purse from her hands and shoved her head in his sweater.

Aelin felt better right away and gave him a big smile.

Rowan answered with one of his own and of course he had to be this perfect and more.

“I’m sorry for ruining your dress, I’ll make sure they wash it carefully when I take it to the laundry. If you’d let me.”

She nodded faintly, exhaling the panty-dropping smell of his sweater.

“And I’m hoping to see you wear it again once we finally get to go on a proper date.” he smirked, “I bet you looked amazing before I went and ran you over.”

Aelin chuckled, shaking her head, “You truly are a gentleman. Elide wasn’t exaggerating.”

Rowan’s demeanor changed completely and Aelin feared she’d said something wrong, but he averted his gaze as if he was embarassed.

“I’m sorry for this morning,” he said. Aelin almost tripped on her feet. He was sorry? “I shouldn’t have talked to you like that but I was just coming back from the hospital and Elide was right saying I work with kids, but I’m not a pediatrician, I’m a pediatric surgeon.”

His gaze grew dark as he looked over her shoulder, avoiding meeting her eyes at all costs.

“Yesterday night we lost a eight years old and I wasn’t really there when you hit me with your car. I didn’t mean to yell at you like I did, it was just-”

Rowan couldn’t finish his sentence that Aelin lunged for him, hugging him as tight as he’d held her a few minutes before, hoping she could relieve some of the pain that was surely clutching his heart. She felt him sag in her arms and hold her in turn.

She was glad she could offer some kind of support.

“It must be hard.” she whispered against his chest.

Rowan nodded, hitting her head with his chin, “It is, but it’s part of the job. The only way you can live with something like that in your baggage is knowing you did everything you could to save them.”

Aelin could feel the emotion lacing his every word and tightened her arms for a moment before freeing him of her embrace. He silently thanked her and told her he’d be right back with their friends.

The second he was gone she realized she couldn’t wait for when he’d be back and they could keep talking.

She’d never felt this way before. Not this fast at least.

Sure, she had loved all her exes, but this. This was different.

There was something there, a connection.

And while he walked back to her, Lorcan and Elide in tow, a bright smile on his handsome face, she couldn’t help but think she was ready to find out all about it.

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