#and now for my next act i will start screaming publicly about: just literally some fucking guy

[phoenixyfriend]

Fake Sith TCW Trio

I have another fucked up time-travel AU! Who’s surprised? (Nobody.)

So like. Have you guys read that one fic where Luke and his students go back in time and pretend to be Sith Lords and are super hammy about it? (Sith Lord Swell by AMournfulHowlInTheNight)

This AU has contributions by @atagotiak, @the-lunar-system, @purronronner, @gelpenss, @creepingthroughthistidalwave, and @thisarenotarealblog.

I want TCW trio (plus Rex and Cody) to go back to several years pre-TPM and, since the Council DEFINITELY won't believe them about the Sith being back... they'll force the issue.

Anakin is weirdly excited about things and building up their backstory.

Anakin: Okay so I can definitely be a Maul type, with the unhinged ranting and manic laughter, Obi-Wan can be the whole Refined Rich Guy type like Dooku, where you can't even tell he's evil until he starts talking about getting out the eyeball scoops, maybe toss in a bit of mad science stuff? Ahsoka could play up like Ventress OR, oh oh, she can be the Light Side Child we need to PROTECT who's publicly begging us to return to the Light after our big dramatic Falls where we murdered like eighty people to save her, and-- Obi-Wan: Why are you never this enthusiastic about actual undercover missions. Ahsoka: Did you just have all this ready to go, or...? Anakin: WE COULD GET YELLOW CONTACT LENSES FOR ME.

Obi-Wan: How's my evil laugh?

Anakin going “Okay.. so if any of us need to murder someone to sell the bit it should be me, I think I could handle it the best. Why? No reason.”

Obi-Wan: I'm not sure a complete Fall could come from protecting Ahsoka, really-- Anakin: No, no, it could.

Obi-Wan: Surely you’d hold back because you realize neither of us want that for you. Anakin: Uh. Sure. Definitely.

Obi-Wan points out that none of them can channel the dark side to Prove they're Sith and Anakin just goes "Okay, give me like two seconds to stew in my negativity and--right, you can stop staring in horror, please."

Anakin rambles on that they can TOTALLY make the galaxy a better place while playing at being Sith! He's got a whole LIST of slave empires to "take over" and disassemble!

Anakin has a whole excited spiel about how EVIL soldiers and assistants are minions, in this case partly because Cody and Rex are too good at what they do to be mooks. Cody could pull off evil minion very well. Facial scar? Looks good in black? Quietly competent and sarcastic?

He also pushes for Obi-Wan to lounge in a fancy throne with a glass of wine while Anakin stalks the shadows and Ahsoka hangs out on the window ledge. The disaster lineage is dramatic, okay, Anakin’s just leaning into it, he’d appreciate it if everyone stopped looking at him like that.

Qui-Gon, surprisingly, ends up a skeptic about all of this. Everyone is freaking out about the Sith and he’s like “y’know I’m not even sure they’re darksiders.”

Some Jedi, possibly Qui-Gon for his conspiracy board, gets in a real risky situation and one of the Fake Sith saves them, but also panics and kinda drops character for a bit.

Jedi: You saved me! Why’d you do that? Anakin: I uh... just wanted the pleasure of killing you myself?

"You saved me. Why?" "Mmmm. Jedi." [walks away]

Qui-Gon: [trying to figure out what is up with these people semi-competently (from his perspective) pretending to be Sith] Dooku: [trying to protect Qui-Gon from Sith influence]

The gang is the most successful at pretending to be Sith to Dooku. Sure, they’re not gonna punish him for something he hasn’t done, but it’s not hard to act menacing and angry around him.

(They really do have so much fun irritating the heck out of Dooku. He hasn’t Fallen yet, but they want to keep an eye out.)

At some point, future Obi-Wan definitely drops that little tidbit of "What, you didn't think the Banites were the only Sith running around did you? You... didn't even know about the Banites. How... disappointing."

They REGULARLY use Ahsoka as an excuse to be marginally less terrible. They claim that if Ahsoka pouts, they stop. ‘Soka also uses them as an excuse for why she’s a lil feral. (To be fair, that one is accurate. She was already a lil feral before but it’s not like they did anything to stop it.) Ahsoka gets her "breaking into people's offices" jollies by bugging Nute Gunray's office.

The Jedi keep trying to Rescue Ahsoka.

Rex and Cody end up in real beskar, there's a whole Thing with Mandalore and Jango and Satine.

Obi-Wan is CONSISTENTLY worried about Anakin Falling for real, which... hey, at least he knows to be worried about Anakin Falling. Step up from canon, really.

Anakin is WAY too into killing the Hutts but like. It does... technically sell the bit.

Obi-Wan: Sure, I’m not sad that they’re dead, especially because we’re not connected to the Republic, so we don’t need to worry about starting a war and all that. But. Anakin is disturbingly cheerful about this. Rex: Wasn't he a Hutt slave? Obi-Wan: Well yes, but-- Rex: I'd kill Nala Se if I could get away with it.

Cody and Rex are very supportive of Anakin's murderous intentions.

Obi-Wan does understand anger, even killing someone in anger. Like Maul (the first time at least) and D’nar and a few others. All the same, like... y’know. The level of bloodthirst from the others is a little off-putting.

At one point, Anakin accidentally addresses young Obi-Wan by name, despite never having met before, and to cover it up, he... panic-flirts. He panics, and so he flirts, with young Obi-Wan.

(He will later blame this on old Obi-Wan, because he had to pick up the habit of flirting with the enemy from somewhere.)

Anakin vaguely implies that he's a wee bit obsessed with young Obi, and that the padawan should "get used to being the target of a dark-sider's interests," because he’s scrambling for Ominous Shit and, well, future Obi-Wan was pretty frequently a fixation point for darksiders, right?

The second he gets out, he just starts screaming into a bucket while Rex pats him on the back.

For the next however many terrible months, possibly years, he has to keep up the act while having an ongoing meltdown about how That's My Dad As A Twenty-Something.

(It doesn't help that young Obi-Wan reflexively flirted back.)

Old Obi-Wan, meanwhile, is just very "you dug this hole yourself, padawan."

There is an argument at the beginning about Obi-Wan’s outfit. If he’s gonna be a Sith, he can’t just go around in beige, but he’s like “I like this and it’s comfy.” Sure, he’s changed clothes for undercover stuff, but that’s always been temporary, y’know? He likes his beige.

We have a number of options.

My first instinct? Beige linen three piece suit, like a southern lawyer. "Now I may just be a simple Outer Rim force adept--"

And, of course, you can TOTALLY make the beige sinister: he’s impersonating a Jedi! Jedi impersonation would also explain why nobody has a red saber.

“Sure is good that the Jedi don’t seem to realize most of the galaxy doesn’t know red sabers are different and bad.” “Shhhh, stop poking holes in our story where a Jedi might overhear.”

Like.... if you do enough doublethink, it works! How would a Sith hide? In plain sight. Also, it’s a GREAT way (if they were actually assholes) to try to slander the Jedi name.

(Anakin and Ahsoka still think he could stand to put a little more effort in. Add a splash of color, for pity's sake!)

Though tbh part of me is like “What if Old Obi wore, like... a split skirt suit...” Victorian womenswear inspired because he misses his robes, but he has to look Professional, and like he's MOCKING Jedi instead of BEING one, so he wears a vintage-y split skirt thing over his leggings. Ends up looking a lot like what Ventress had for a while, but Beige. I also keep wanting to put him regency menswear.

Anyway. Obi-Wan’s wardrobe aside...

Anakin builds up his Tatoo accent again. It helps him with the (mostly true) "slavery helped me fall" backstory.

Either Cody or Rex offhandedly mentions being made to serve them (the Fake Sith) and now the Jedi are somewhat concerned about brainwashing. Are these Mandos the victims here?

“No like. Literally made for this. In a lab.” This is even more horrifying. So...

On the one hand good! The Jedi should be scared about Sith! On the other hand... it makes the Jedi more determined to stop them, specifically. They keep on getting in the way, just, all the time, and they’re not investigating the actual Sith problem, which is decidedly not great since the Team doesn’t actually know who’s a real Sith right now, except Maul, and who even knows where that guy is.

Obi-Wan, at some point: Do you think we've succeeded at this ruse... a little TOO well? Anakin: I don't follow. Obi-Wan, gesturing at the truly obnoxious amount of wealth they've collected, including "trophies" of their kills: Really? Because I'm a little worried! Anakin, planning out a battle to take on Nar Shadda: ...I'm not.

"How many people do we realistically we need to take over Hutt Space? Apparently... five."

(Mostly because Anakin is ridiculously op.)

ANAKIN AND YOUNG OBI GET KIDNAPPED BY PIRATES TOGETHER. It's tradition.

Anakin: Okay, so, I need to get really angry about something to pass as a Sith... time to think about my WIFE and how I'll NEVER SEE HER AGAIN.

Since Anakin’s life never goes as planned... this does not work. Instead of getting properly angry, he makes himself sad. There are tears. There is wailing. There’s a distraught rant or two. Young Obi ends up awkwardly trying to comfort him.

“Oh no, this… Sith?? Is crying on me. What do I do???”

Later on, when the Council wants intel: "So... one of the Sith cried on me about his wife. I think she's dead? He wasn't very clear about it but it, uh... it sounded like it might have contributed to his Fall. Also the relationship was a little unhealthy? He basically worshiped the ground she walked on and kept ranting about how he would have given her the galaxy on a platinum platter of she'd only asked, but that might be new and inspired by the Dark."

One of the random Jedi is REALLY good at detecting the truth Through The Force, and asks Anakin how he Fell...

Anakin just. Tells the Tuskens story.

They don't get pinged as lying, but oh boy does old Obi have a LOT of questions for Anakin once they're in private.

There are other things happening to help sell the ruse. Some of them are necessary! Some of them are... not.

Obi-Wan: What's the best way to show we're rich and kind of evil, but like... classy about it? Anakin, immediately: I sit on the floor next to the throne, leaning against it, and you call me pet names while stroking my hair, and then when you need something killed I get to do it for you and then I go back to the floor and you thank me for the directed violence, and then you go back to Negotiations with criminals while I’m sitting there covered in blood. Obi-Wan: ...is there something you want to TELL us, or...?

"You're all going to get a glimpse of something normally kept hidden about me." "Anakin, you don't have to do that." "No, I'm gonna."

(Anakin has decided hes going to peel his kink tomato to sell this ruse, and the others are slightly uncomfortable with that.)

Anakin: Okay, I cannot keep flirting with you. Young Obi: Wait, what? But that's the best part of any time we run into you! Anakin: You look WAY too much like my Master did when I met him. Obi: O...kay? If someone looked like my master when HE was young, I'd-- Anakin: My Sith Master half-raised me. He's basically my dad. Obi: ... Anakin: What's that look for? Obi: I mean, you spend a lot of time lounging at his feet, and, like, given how much you hate slavery, I... kind of assumed it was a kink thing? Anakin, brightly: Oh no, I just have a LOT of trauma. And neuroses. Snips says they’re neuroses.

Young Obi is a little upset because he was actually getting REALLY into Flirting With The Enemy and was hoping it would go somewhere. He mopes to Qui-Gon about it. Qui-Gon isn't sure whether to be proud about Obi breaking rules, or worried over Obi-Wan falling for a Fake Sith.

(As Tia put it: "You enjoy making young Obi-Wan have a completely unrequited crush on Anakin, don’t you?")

Fortunately, one of those attractive Young Mando boys very kindly helped him tape up his ribs this one time, and has thus caught his eye...

I feel like having Cody date Young Obi would court an entirely different kind of (internet) drama because clone ages, but whatever.

Also please imagine an element of "so I'm dating the genetic identical of my boss... who's dating the man I'm a genetic identical of..."

(It's probably not actually Jangobi but man would that be funny and also stupid.)

Somehow Young Obi figures out that the "Sith Master" is a future him before he realizes that they're not actually dark. In his defense, Anakin was pretty convincing. Especially with the wife rant. It makes HIM more obsessed with Anakin, in a reversal of the implied earlier dynamic, which is all kinds of weird. Less romantic but like. Still weird.

"Future Me Scares Me" with Extra stupid. "Future Me Annoys Me." "Future Me acts like grandmaster Dooku, but more sass." "Future Me raised a really hot evil guy that refuses to bang Present Me." "Future Me might be a Sith, but I'm getting more and more convinced he's just fucking with us all." "Future Me is really rocking that beard, and I can't BELIEVE we figured out a way around the babyface."

"I’m kinda concerned about the whole evil thing, but I’m also glad that I know I’ll stay hot as I get older."

Quinlan approves of the priorities.

Also a lot of interactions with older Obi are very Anakin: [does/says something deeply unhinged] Obi-Wan: So, do you want to…. Talk about that? Maybe? Anakin: What’s there to talk about?? I’m fine, everything’s fine! Anyways how about those plans for tracking down Maul?

Anakin later, like way after the ruse is lifted, just blankly tells everyone that he did Fall, once, and Older Obi made him get therapy about it after the truth came out between the two of them a few months into the Fake Sith thing.

Where'd they find a therapist? I'm sure there's one SOMEWHERE around. Denon and Herdessa are close enough, and they've done enough "your criminal empire now belongs to me" that they can pay well. They make sure to find one that takes confidentiality real seriously.

It's all very "we need some more time to unpack all that."

Therapy helps get Anakin to figure out Sheev’s whole deal. They don't necessarily figure out he’s a Sith from it, but they figure out he’s sketchy and they need to look into that more. Obi-Wan probably already thought he was sketchy, but the whole active gaslighting campaign was a little surprising. They realize that he kinda benefited a lot from a lot of Sith plots and they still probably don’t think he’s a Sith but Obi-Wan is definitely starting to think he’s working with one.

"Okay, we're already bugging Gunray, should we bug Palpatine just to be safe?"

They get away with a lot of slicing because Anakin is a technical genius from twenty years in the future.

The reasons they're so good at Taking Over Hutt Space: 1. They know parts of the future. 2. They have superpowers and FAR less reason to not use them, now that their actions aren't going to reflect on the Republic. 3. They have Cody and Rex, who are two of the greatest military minds in the galaxy, and know EXACTLY how to wage a war that covers a solid third of the galaxy, starting from a position of relative weakness. 4. Anakin's charisma is scary high, and his knowledge of slave culture means they gain a lot of trust from the people they free, and they just... keep acquiring volunteers for the army they didn't plan to have. Obi-Wan doesn't know what to do. He thinks they might have started a cult?

In his defense, Dooku sort of started a cult, and Komari got kidnapped by a cult, brainwashed into joining it properly, and then took it over as head figure of said cult. It's practically tradition!

Comics Vader is the central figure of like three different cults, it was really just inevitable.

Anakin: Aw, don't worry master, it's not a cult, it's a revolution! Ahsoka: They're worshiping him, though. Anakin: ...it's still a revolution! Just... with some misunderstandings.

Also, if they got wind of people trying to keep people from being able to leave and other culty stuff like that, they’d probably put a stop to it pretty damn quick.

Names! Time for names. As per usual, it's easiest to keep track of Obi-Wan's alternate Older Self by just calling him Ben.

Darth Ben.

Ahsoka: You should be Darth Boring. Obi-Wan: I can still make you run laps, you know.

Anakin: The Force is telling me to call myself Darth Vader. Obi-Wan: ...why? Anakin: I dunno, but it sounds cool, I'll run with it.

Someone: Ben has all the answers; we shouldn’t question him, ever. Ben: One time I lost a planet, and a five-year-old found it for me.

More options: Going with the "evil word with the prefix 'in' chopped off" that we get with Sidious and Vader: Darth Surrectus (as in insurrection) Just random Latin words: Darth Temporus (time) Darth Commenticius (fake)

Anyway, back to Nonsense:

Maul goes after young Obi early, because the Fake Sith are really invested in this one random Padawan (Sidious is saying he might be a cousin of the false Sith Master? They do look similar enough) so someone needs to investigate. Naturally, Anakin shows up with some wild screeching to fight Maul, and when someone questions why he got involved it gets very "Kenobi is MINE!" and like. Okay. So.

Anakin means it in a very Sith "to toy with" and "to torture" way, or the ‘my chosen opponent!’ way, just the same kind of Obsession as Maul had with Obi-Wan in the original timeline. Unfortunately, Anakin’s a weird-ass person who flirts with Young Obi against his own better judgement, so there's some awkward "Like... your boyfriend?" from young Obi. Anakin just screeches in SOME emotion that nobody wants to interpret, and couldn't even if they wanted to, and starts whacking away at Maul again.

(Anakin hasn't explained the "you look exactly like my dad, sorry, it's just too weird" thing yet, and he is HAVING MANY REGRETS.)

There's definitely at least one instance where a person asks Anakin if he's planning on dating That One Jedi Twink, or at least banging out the tension. At that point in time, Anakin doesn't actually know who the fuck they're talking about, because "Obi-Wan + Twink = Does Not Compute" for dear, dense Ani, and instead he just ends up ranting about how he is LOYAL TO THE MEMORY OF HIS LATE WIFE, how DARE anyone so much as INSINUATE that he would TARNISH HER PERFECT MEMORY and UNWAVERING KINDNESS and WHOLESOME BEING, and the person who asked doesn't end up lightsabered but they do end up with a LOT to tell whoever they're reporting to.

Young Obi-Wan definitely hears Anakin mutter the phrase “something to discuss with my therapist later” a few times, and he’s a little bewildered because darksiders definitely don’t seem like the type of people to go to therapy. They’re the type of people to need therapy, sure, but not the type to go to therapy.

I think it would be very fun for Young Obi to continue sighing over Anakin (who's pretending to be fine with it and even flirting back because he's in too deep to stop and hasn't worked up the courage to explain the elephant in the room) while Anakin is covered in grease and infodumping while having a slightly manic hyperfocus on engine repairs while the two of them Somehow got stranded together in the middle of bumfuck nowhere (it's Plagueis's doing, he finds the interactions between THESE two in particular to be the most informative regarding the fake Sith).

Anakin, at some point while stranded with young Obi-Wan, and having actually started unpacking some stuff in therapy, though he’s def still got a ways to go: I’m pretty sure Ben cares about me. He acts like he cares, like he’ll do stuff like put extra blankets in my quarters in the spaceship because I get cold real easily or track down those droid parts I need for a project and he always has my back in a fight but y’know it’d be nice to hear him say he loves me once in a while. Especially because we kinda had a rough start and idk I don’t think he wanted me around at first.

And uh. Obi-Wan definitely relates to that a bit too much, y’know?

I want to say that Young Obi ends up mentioning All That to one of the clones or Ahsoka later, because they seem probably invested in Anakin's well-being, even if Ben is, well, a Sith, so Obi-Wan's a little worried the man's affection really is fake, but at least Ahsoka...

(Ironic, given what Anakin's actual eventual Sith would-be-Master was like.)

Young Obi mentions Anakin’s most recent rant to Ahsoka, and she just goes "Wait, is that why Skyguy likes to sit by the throne and get called pet names?" "Uh... I don't... know... but it sounds like all of you have a LOT to unpack there, Miss Apprentice."

Later on: "Master Kenobi, you need to tell Skyguy you love him 'cause apparently he's been having a lot of emotions about you not telling him you care and he's been talking to mini-you about it whenever they get stuck together and--"

Young Obi-Wan is just constantly the "Now we don't have time to unpack all of that" John Mulaney gif. Anakin in particular is a mess, and young Obi-Wan slowly goes from "I want to date that" to "I want to study that" about him.

Obi-Wan gets stuck somewhere with Ben, tries to small talk, gets on the topic of Vader, and spills the drama. He gets an awkward “Thank you for bringing that to my attention.”

It’s followed by a fairly frustrated “I try, but Anakin refuses to communicate his needs to me, and it feels like I’m always falling short.”

At least one member of the group is in therapy, probably all of them, but they’re still using young Obi as a sounding board for all this stuff. On the bright side, this is probably good for impressing the importance of good communication on Obi-Wan.

Good for Obi-Wan! And... whatever Padawan he eventually has.

As for baby Anakin, who is approximately age four, I want to go with "Anakin decides to be his own uncle, and Shmi just rolls with it because fuck it, she’s not a slave anymore, and a Fake Sith is a solid defense against anyone trying to re-enslave them."

[This is a backstory I've had them use before (see here and here).]

Seeing Big Ani and Little Ani in the same space might be what finally pings the "oh shit, that's future me" thing for Obi-Wan... you know, if he’s ever allowed close enough to see Little Ani in the first place.

Little Ani stays with the fake-Sith and is sorta jointly trained by all of them, and young Obi-Wan teaches little 'Soka at the Temple. Ani and 'Soka still end up friends somehow, but it is fairly different.

Every time little Ani addresses Old Obi as "Dad," it's just like ten kinds of awkward. The one time someone tried to explain that Ben wasn't his new dad, Shmi glared them down. She is of the opinion that, all the gods be damned, Ani deserves to refer to the most mature man in his life, who raised another him in another timeline already, as a father.

Ani doesn't NEED a father, Shmi herself is more than enough, but he does deserve to have this if he wants it.

An alternative conclusion to the time travel is uh. So the Mandalorians are genetically identical (give or take a hair gene) and really resemble Jango Fett, though whether anyone notices that is up in the air. Then the three ‘Sith’ (two fake Sith and their morality chain tag-along) have three younger, identical copies show up….

It could be really weird cloning shenanigans. Now, it makes no sense that they’d make clones, and stagger their production like that, and leave them as babies on various planets for Jedi to find. IDK what reasons Obi-Wan would come up with for that, but it’s a fun little detour before he gets to time travel.

There's a really painful moment (for the audience, who know about canon Vader) where someone tries to convince Ahsoka to leave the Sith and she's just like "no way, they'd never hurt me!” Then she clarifies that “someone has to keep them from doing stupid Sith shit whenever they get bored, you know?"

A bunch of Jedi probably think she’s delusional, but the few that have seen her get into trouble that is legitimately too much for her, which isn't often, have then seen Anakin show up like the devil himself to save her, and it's like. Oh. This is why she isn't scared of them hurting her.

We’ve discussed how Anakin does get concerningly in character with the fake Sith thing. However, Anakin and Ahsoka are, just once in a while, surprised by how Ben gets sometimes when playing the bad guy.

After all, he stabbed a dude with a fork and threatened to eat him during his time as Hardeen…

He has the same dramatic streak as all the rest of the lineage. He can be vindictive and creepy and scary as fuck.

HOWEVER:

Obi-Wan: I know I'm supposed to be playing at evil right now, but how do we feel about me making that evil a little... fruity? Ahsoka: Fruity, master? Anakin, who knows where this is going: [buries face in hands] Obi-Wan: You know, the... [limp wrist] Ahsoka: ... Obi-Wan: I mean, I'm already bisexual and well-groomed, I can play it up.

What’s the point of being evil if you can’t be flamboyant?

Anyway, I had to put in a lot of thought for what to do with Rex and Cody, because there's a solid place for them in terms of strategy, but it doesn't do much to give them independent narrative arcs, and 'young Obi-Wan has a crush' isn't much of an arc, you know?

So, basic info first: Cody, Rex, and Anakin all hold the rank of General in this AU because, like... who else is gonna. Ahsoka remains a commander because everyone declares her Baby, and also to keep up the "I'm a morality chain" ruse.

Cody maintains a very stern and unyielding public persona, but the second they're behind closed doors, he's roughhousing with his little brother.

Rex has some fun pretending to be a sadist whenever he and Anakin have to team up, because hamming it up as an evil bastard in front of Jedi is actually really fun... but usually, he's a competent fucking professional.

Because here's the thing: someone has to be.

They both kind of hate the army they've gotten, because these people don't even have proper trigger discipline, let alone any actual discipline.

This army? Tragic. They hate it. Give them the clones.

They have to be drill sergeants for months before they have anything worth sending onto the field.

I think that might be how/when they end up reaching out to Jango. Like, the first inroad is absolutely "we're your clones from the future and you were a Shit Dad so you owe us," but then they actually talk him around into letting the Fake Sith hire him. He brings along all the Mandalorians he can get to answer his calls, and on suggestion from Those Mando Twins, joins the army Ben doesn't even want.

Darth Boring doesn't want an army! Unfortunately, Cody thinks that's stupid as hell, and is overruling Ben so they can actually work on this 'cleaning up the galaxy of slavery' thing with actual resources.

Cody and Rex are super competent, and it shows in their horrified disdain for the state of their troops.

Rex: Fucking natborns. Anyone who isn't in the know: What's a natborn? Rex: [leaves without answering] People: WHAT'S A NATBORN???

(I'm assuming that the word smush is harder to parse in Basic.)

I think young Obi-Wan's new crush on Cody should also be unrequited. Cody's just like... bemused. Very "Okay, then, that sure is an Affection you've decided on."

Cody and Anakin both: Sorry, it’d just be too weird. Obi-Wan: Why would it be too weird? Cody and Anakin: Reasons.

Rex has to deal with the "whyyyyy" from both his brother and his (former?) General.

Young Obi-Wan just likes cute boys that fight good! Is that so wrong???

Ahsoka: So since we're not officially Jedi anymore-- Obi-Wan: We're still Je-- Ahsoka: Can we date? Can I date now? I want to date someone before we go back to the Code. It's a classic life experience for most teenage girls, and I want to Have That Experience before we're back at the Temple. Obi-Wan: You're not... you can date, Ahsoka, that's not actually banned by the Code. I mean, you'd have to keep it casual, but-- Ahsoka: I CAN DATE!!!

(Great priorities, Ahsoka.)

An idea I'm toying with is that one of the clones ends up Legally Engaged to Satine for political reasons, and young Obi-Wan is just like ???? because not only can he not date the hot boys, but one of said hot boys has become Mr. Steal Yo Girl.

Young Obi-Wan is suffering, and Quinlan is the worst friend ever because Quinlan is laughing at him.

There is obviously the question of

"How would Satine ever end up agreeing to that, given what their public personas are like and all that? She puts duty ahead of personal feelings but all indications are that it’s a terrible decision both ways." (as stated by Tia)

Which, yes, I forgot to actually say that I was imagining Jango had declared "those twins" his heirs after telling people they were his younger* cousins. Because reasons.

* Jango is about 27 when they land in the past, and I’m going to say the accelerated aging ended after hitting physically twenty because no, I don’t want to deal with that. As far as anyone knows, Cody and Rex are about five years younger than Jango. They’re less than year apart, which isn’t very visible, and most people assume they’re identical twins (except Rex’s hair), and that Cody just looks slightly older because of the scar.

Darth Boring had convinced Satine that the way to keeping Mandalore peaceful was to work with Jango (because Darth Boring, which is not his actual title but it is what Ahsoka insists on calling him in private, has a vested interest in keeping Mandalore and all interested parties calm), and he... maybe accidentally set up a political marriage between her and one of the clones.

It wasn't on purpose! Satine never married in his timeline, okay, he didn't expect her to ever get married here, either! He didn't even suggest it! This just happened!

(I want to say that Cody would be more competent at having a political marriage? But IDK.)

Do I do the Satine thing? It has potential, but also it's a bit of a cop-out. Do I have Cody be a diplomatic representative for their pseudo-Sith empire? He could be, but I think he'd hate it. Do I have Rex date one the Chaos Entities (Anakin or Ahsoka), or is that too repetitive with my other works? THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH GOING ON.

Part of me wants Quinlan to get a crush on Cody, and the crush gets bigger specifically in response to the fact that Cody refuses to take him seriously and/or just doesn't give him the time of day.

Based on their one interaction in TCW, they probably let get along ok. Cody maybe likes him back, buuuuuuut internally he's just a little "you were tolerable at almost-forty; early twenties you is obnoxious."

Just imagine the absolutely puppyish attempts at gaining approval and Impressing The Hot Mando General. Quinlan keeps having vague daydreams of seducing someone to the side of the Light. He really leans into the bodice ripper fantasies of saving someone evil with the power of love! (And also the power of really good sex.)

Bant looks at Quin and Obi and wants to throw them both into the nearest pond because they're idiots, but on this topic they are the same flavor of idiot. She considers calling up Reeft and Garen to help her knock some sense into them.

Quinlan: Can I volunteer to go undercover to the Sith? The Council: No. Quinlan: ...what if I-- The Council: No.

Tholme tries to get Qui-Gon to commiserate over their Padawans getting obsessed with Hot Sith Boys, but Qui-Gon just finds the whole thing funny. He knows from the chats he has with Ben that Anakin feels so completely, utterly, incredibly awkward about all of this.

(Ben continues to hold to "Anakin brought this on himself.")

(Ben also “kidnaps” Qui-Gon a lot.)

Also, hey, at least Quinlan isn’t actually into hot Sith boys! He’s into hot Sith minions which is... probably a step up. At least Cody’s not a Sith himself!

It's a step in some direction but Tholme has no idea which one.

(Quinlan sees Cody in dress uniform once and just keeps the mental image for Ages. It’s in his dreams. Sometimes said dreams overflow to Tholme via Force Mind Magic and Quinlan wakes up to someone smacking his face with a pillow.)

Arguably, Quin's also a lot more romantic about his crush than Obi-Wan is, in this case. Quinlan: I want to save him... Obi-Wan: Hey, hey, cute boy. Look at me. Let’s bang.

Cody: There are currently two future Jedi generals having some form of absurd romantic fixation in my direction. I don't know how to feel about this. Rex: Bed them. Cody: ...I'm not saying that's not eventually an option, but one of them is the younger Kenobi, and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that. Rex: Pat him on the head like a tooka and then bed his friend, it'll be funny.

I think the Quinlan thing and also general exasperation of leading an absolutely useless army can function pretty solidly as the basis for Cody, but I have another idea for Rex now.

Komari is currently brainwashed in a cult, yes? So.

I keep bouncing around back and forth on what to do with Rex, but part of me suddenly really likes the idea of, after Team Fake Sith finds and dissolves the cult (as one does), and takes Komari into custody (because she's dangerous and deeply unwell), Rex kind of ends up her touchstone to being a decent person. He’s not a morality chain, and it’s not really a redeemed-through-love thing, just This Is A Solid Dude who doesn't pity her or thinks she's irredeemable (however you choose to define such a thing), but actually relates to the kind of conditions living like that can involve, and just kind of...

I don’t know. I think Rex's arc in this AU could be very heavily grounded in something to the effect of "You're not the worst darksider I've met. You're not the only person who was in a cult. You're not even the only former Jedi I know that's committed awful, horrible crimes. My question is just this: What are you going to do moving forward?"

Later Anakin: Wait, who do we know that was in a cult? Rex: What did you think Kamino was?

(Rex isn't as chill as he'd like her to think, but he's trying, and she's fairly reliant on the Force to understand emotions, and is currently in nullifying cuffs, so he can bluff.)

Komari needs someone solid and dependable to rely on for at least conversation, and I think Rex needs to feel needed.

I’m not sure if it’d be romance or friendship, but I think there's a solid basis to work with, potentially.

Per Tia:

One thing about Rex and shipping is like. If you want to do Rexwalker again that's fine, but if you're worried about repetitiveness but still want to like. Ship him in a non-political-convenience way. Rexsoka here actually would be different than your other stuff.

I'm trying to figure out if I can make it work because Ahsoka thematically fits very much into a little sister shaped hole here? She feels younger than in other works, despite not actually being younger than she is in, say, Commander Buir. In those other fics, she has some time alone to function and prove herself independently of Anakin and Obi-Wan.

I usually pluck Ahsoka out at sixteen if I'm pulling her from TCW, so she's got most of her competence but hasn't gotten quite all the trauma yet. Commander Buir, in particular, also has baby-shaped Anakin for contrast.

That said, I can see a decent source of narrative conflict in her wanting to experiment with romance and all that, and Anakin trying to tell her she's too young.

A year into this whole time-travel mess, she wants to give the dating thing a shot, and it spirals into "You were only two years older than me when you got married!"

I think I could build a plot out of Ahsoka wanting to do these things, and Anakin as an audience insert not quite processing that she's old enough to make these decisions. If she's choosing to date Rex, whose age works out as being close to hers when one takes into account Kamino fuckery, and whom she trusts absolutely, it’s arguably extra weird for Anakin to be upset with it.

"Senator Amidala was five years older than you, and you married her when you were nineteen and had only really known her for a week! I can go on a date with a guy we both know is one of the most trustworthy people alive if I want, Skyguy!"

I can definitely see Ahsoka getting annoyed with Anakin being overbearing and controlling at some point before that unrelated to romance, too. It’s not exactly a new fault of his.

My god, just imagine someone snidely asking Anakin "where's your little shadow?" and Anakin, being Himself and also a Fake Sith, has an emotional breakdown about how Ahsoka yelled at him for micromanaging her and not trusting her to make her own decisions in life and so she got herself a multi-month solo mission from Ben that Anakin isn't allowed to know any details about, and--

It's another one of those "oh, you have PROBLEMS problems with your mental health" incidents for the Jedi to add to the file, because Anakin having emotionally charged rants about his issues at seemingly terrible times is how they get a lot of information.

Some of the rants are planned.

Many of them, actually.

They want the Jedi to know these things.

Just, well. Anakin.

He really is a little Like That.

On that note, I'm low-key imagining that Anakin gets put on mood stabilizers by the therapist in this context, and he's doing good! He's handling his issues! He's--been captured with Obi-Wan the Younger again and his medication was confiscated.

Anakin is... not great. He's a little out of practice managing his unmedicated self, and when adding withdrawal symptoms onto that... poor Anakin.

(Poor Obi-Wan.)

I think it would be best if Anakin makes a bunch of ominous blustery comments at their captors about how they won't like what's coming to them if they take his belongings (AKA the fanny pack that has his backup pills), and then Obi-Wan just gets to watch Anakin get more and more erratic, because like. Yes, Anakin is using the Force to compensate, but unfortunately he's mostly cut off, and the stress of the situation is pushing him away from depression and into the beginnings of a manic episode.

Anakin is aware of his issues to the point where he's mostly managing, and he keeps asking Obi-Wan "would it make sense for me to [slightly deranged, very impulsive action]," and Obi-Wan realizes he's being the morality sounding board for the Hot Sith because ??? reasons?????

Eventually, Anakin does flop back in bed and dramatically throws his arm over his eyes, and says he needs his meds back, he's absolutely going to lose it, and Obi-Wan tentatively asks what kind of medication. There are levels to worry about. Mild allergy medication is one thing, but heart medication that needs to be taken every four hours is another, you know? He wants to know how much panic is appropriate.

Anakin lets him know that it's Psychiatric In Nature. Obi-Wan suddenly realizes that he really, really, really doesn't want to know what a properly erratic, unmedicated Anakin is like.

(An unmedicated Anakin really isn't nearly as bad as Obi-Wan fears. Anakin's been dealing with this for a while, and knows what his issues are and some of how to deal with them. He'd need to be running on no sleep and higher levels of stress, or to have been drugged with something meant to increase his aggression, to really lose his shit and do something worthy of Vader. RotS levels of stress and sleep deprivation is required to pull RotS levels of manic paranoid delusion.)

Tia asked:

How long does it take the Jedi in general to catch on to how like. They have opportunities. But these Sith never seem to harm any Jedi. And it’s not just like, the past timeline parts of the disaster lineage. They probably get opportunities to hurt other Jedi. Ones that are less skilled at saber work. And more importantly ones that they don’t seem weirdly interested in."

I'm not sure, really. The Jedi don't spend as much time in the Outer Rim as they could, and that's where the Team operates, so actually running into them by accident is unlikely for anyone other than Shadows.

Fortunately, it's really easy to toy with Shadows with the excuse of "I want to see how long it takes before you Fall with us."

I do want like... okay. Here’s the mental image:

Qui-Gon calls them out on being Fake Sith pretty quickly, so Ben just sort of eyes him, dramatically, and orders out "Leave us" to all non-team people. The threat of torture is implied but not stated. He gestures with wine to keep in character. He definitely makes sure Young Obi-Wan is ushered out, so it's just five time travelers, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Ahsoka's immortal force birb.

"...so, what's the reason for the farce, Obi-Wan?" "How in all the hells did you figure it out so quickly?"

(Qui-Gon cheated a bit. He could feel the broken training bond that was never properly severed due to Traumatic Death Of A Master on Ben's end)

Ben didn't realize he'd feel it! Young Obi-Wan can't feel his older self or a training bond with Anakin or Ahsoka, so why could Qui-Gon?

IDK if there would be anything on the level of crying and hugging it out, but I think it would be very funny if, every time young Obi and Anakin are getting captured by pirates or something, Ben and Qui-Gon are just having a nice afternoon tea and checking their watches to see if their respective walking bundles of neuroses are done with their adventure yet.

The Council is So Done, because Qui-Gon continues to insist that they're Not That Bad, but every time anyone other than Qui-Gon brings up the friendship, Ben laughs and makes a comment about how absolutely gullible Master Jinn is.

Obi-Wan is skeptical of his own experiences with Anakin, at least, if only because he's skeptical about Anakin's everything.

"I don't know if Vader is telling me the truth. I don't know if he's telling himself the truth. I don't think he's a great source of information even when he thinks he's being honest."

Anakin could tell Obi-Wan the full and complete truth, and Obi-Wan would worriedly put a hand to his forehead and start doing tests for hallucinations and paranoid delusions. In his defense, this is a very reasonable assumption to make with an individual like Anakin. It's just also not accurate, this time. I don’t know if Anakin hallucinates in canon without a weird inciting incident like Force Nonsense or getting drugged by the enemy, but paranoid delusion is pretty much all of RotS.

"I’m your time-traveling padawan who’s pretending to be a Sith to catch some other Sith who’re going to start a galactic civil war and those Mandalorians you like are from a clone army based on a template of Jango Fett made to serve the Jedi (because that’s totally something he’d sign up for), and one of the Sith is your grandmaster but he doesn’t seem to have fallen yet, it’s probably fine," is hard to believe.

Honestly, even if he seemed stable before saying that, which he doesn’t, it’s all real far fetched. There's a lot going on and Obi-Wan wouldn't even begin to believe it without evidence.

I've had it in my head that he and Bant and Quinlan have been gossiping about the mess for months if not years about these idiots, and at one point it became common knowledge that Ben was a Kenobi, and Bant convinced them (since the two were among the most likely in the entire Order to encounter the Fake Sith) to get a DNA sample, probably hair or blood since that's easiest so they can figure out HOW these two are related, if they are, and then there's a whole big thing.

Bant: No, no, this must be contaminated, it's coming up as Obi-Wan! Are you sure you didn't accidentally grab some of your own hairs? I know it's a little long for most of your hair, but the braid-- Quinlan: Wait, they keep claiming stuff about cloning, right? Maybe someone's a clone? Check for artificial telomeres! Bant: ...okay, so, there aren't any artificial telomeres, but the ones from apparently-Ben are... a lot shorter... um... I don't know what to do with this. It's like I have two samples from the same person, twenty years apart. Quinlan: Obi-Wan, what's that face? Why are you-- Obi-Wan: Vader told me he was a time-traveler. I thought it was the fever talking, but...

That’s how he finds out that Ben is future-him before finding out about how he’s not evil!

"Master Jinn... I think... I think the Sith controlling the Outer Rim is me from the future." "Oh, you finally figured it out?" "I AM HAVING A CRISIS HERE."

Obi-Wan, after a few hours of dazed realization, runs screaming to Quinlan and Bant like 'GUYS GUYS THIS EXPLAINS WHY VADER KEPT SAYING IT WAS WEIRD AND THAT I LOOK LIKE HIS MASTER AND THAT IT WOULD BE LIKE DATING HIS DAD.'

You know, the important stuff.

I think Qui-Gon tells him that Ben isn't evil because, like, That Sure Is A Crisis Obi-Wan's Having. He could hold off for shits and giggles, sure, but Obi-Wan’s on the edge of something Really Concerning, mentally. Best help calm him down on at least one or two things.

Obi-Wan’s maybe still a little skeptical until he confronts them over it. Because their Sith act was real good and also like. Maybe Qui-Gon just wants to believe the best of his Padawan, y’know?

Quinlan runs into Ben before Obi-Wan does, after this whole mess, and gets to observe as money changes hands and people act like sore winners about bets made for When Does Obi-Wan Figure It Out.

Anakin was saying 'soon' because he really didn't think the fever-fueled rant would be discounted as easily as it was.

Cody was of the opinion that it would take at least a few more years since they're actually pretty damn good at this whole schtick.

Quinlan: Wow, he's... going to be really disappointed that you have such a low opinion of his intelligence. Cody, gesturing at Ben: Experience. Darth Ben: ಠ_ಠ

Cody just rattles off some of the Extremely Stupid Shit that Ben's done in their time working together.

Rex cheerily offers up "You didn't even realize General Skywalker was married, sir! And they weren't subtle!" "I knew they were together, I just didn--" "Everyone knew they were together, sir. Everyone."

(Rex had the lowest opinion of their deductive capabilities. He claims it would have taken until Baby Ahsoka showed up at the Jedi Temple.)

-Once Obi-Wan accepts that they're decent people after all- Obi-Wan: Wow, Anakin, you're real good at acting unhinged! Anakin: Haha. Yeah. Thanks?

#Obi Wan Kenobi #Anakin Skywalker #Ahsoka Tano #Captain Rex #Commander Cody #Disaster Lineage #time travel #Qui Gon Jinn #Jango Fett #Quinlan Vos #one sided codywan #one sided obikin #trust me it's very stupid #villain au #CodyQuin #Rexsoka #maybe? #Komari Vosa #Fake Sith AU #Phoenix Posts #kink mention #kinky power dynamics in non-sexual situations #Anakin's got a lot of neuroses and unfortunately he's making it everyone's problem #cult mention #This is 7.5k and only sort of organized #500 notes

[metalgeartwo1990]

if peak star wars is like, a train crash in slow motion, that also shows you EXACTLY how narrowly it misses things turning out okay, then thats jedi quest #9 the false peace by jude watson

#i feel like an insane person rn please dont mind me idk whats got me like this today #PLEASE we were so close PLEASE please please #tyro caladian i hope you're thotting it the fuck up in heaven. king #AAAAAARgh im insane im insane asylum im gonna kill u im insane im carazayyyy #liv.txt #GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR R GRRR BARk #i think no training is doing a number on me #live laugh love ig #and now for my next act i will start screaming publicly about: just literally some fucking guy #ALSO i found out what svivreni look like its GREAT i love it theyre 90 cm tall little ....furry guys. smile #smile!

[baeshijima]

𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫!𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫!𝐲/𝐧

MASTERLIST

now, childe as a general streamer,,, he’s a whale in every sense of the word 

…

poggers—

so childe as a streamer in general would be one word ;

✨chaotic✨

he would definitely be a variety streamer, but more so for games !!

especially pvp and/or pve games

competitive meta mf—

probably plays LoL, overwatch, apex legends, valorant and minecraft

don’t question the minecraft 

he likes mining but has a personal vendetta against the creepers bc once they blew up his mansion 

yes, a mansion

ask any of his community and they’ll tell u he spent a full-blown month and a half playing just minecraft to build it, only for it to go down just like that ;-; 

his chat loved it tho <//3

he’s played honkai too !! mainly for the pve and grinding bc he’s a whale but uh,,, shhh

his community,,, his community are just a bunch of trolls at this point i cant even lie

they just KEKW, SADGE & COPIUM spam everything and the newer viewers get intimidated until they realise he deserves them all HJGKJHF

especially when he starts getting annoyed by the game,,, his reactions are too good to pass up on gn

typically when he does mario kart streams 👩‍🦯 that shit’s wild when it happens oh my

when he falls in rainbow road 🤡 

and especially bc he has his webcam on, his viewers just see him internally dying or wanting to scream

also gets passive aggressive 

shit talks everything and everyone when in that mood <//3

for what’s left of his dignity i won’t disclose what happens

definitely gets jebaited a lot too <//3 unfortunately he’s too easy for his chat ;-;

another mf with a massive community except he has a lot of friends (sorry not sorry albedo)

ppl have a love-hate relationship with him tbh; u either love him or hate him

no inbetween

unless u show ur love through bullying him then go off ig

his discord server, twt + yt are also really big too !! also verified on insta 

also !!

he has lots of plushies :(( esp whale plushies from his community bc he’s the biggest whale they know <//3

but if u look at his setup, there’s a mini whale plushie on the top of his main monitor (he has 3), one big one (like,,, up to his chin) behind him, a smol on the top of his chair so u can see it above his head, and just more off screen HKJSDHL

they asked for a room tour once and half of it was just whale plushies

the rest were LED lights + shelves of merch & gifts from his community !!

he even has some fanmail (actual wholesome ones that aren’t cursed) pinned on a board too 🥺

also has an ensuite—

when he was eating on stream one time, his chat was sent into an absolute outrage

u know why?

bc he was eating noodles with a fork

bby ;-;

so sometimes he’ll get sent those beginner chopsticks with the finger guides to help him 👩‍🦯

he’s actually made sure to eat with them on stream tho bc he was sent one with a narwhal on top and he thinks it’s cute JHGJKH

nOW ONTO THIS MAN BEING WHIPPED FOR U AS A GENSHIN STREAMER !!!!

herkekle

now, his (also) AR56 ass has been playing since genshin first came out

an og if u will

this man,,, he’s been in love with u even before the game’s official release 🐥

not only were u in the promotional art and trailers, but he was also one of the beta testers so he got to try out ur character first hand in the early stages !!

and when i say he fell hard for u,

i mean it 

when the game wasn’t released publicly yet, he wasn’t allowed to disclose any information and ngl, it killed him that he couldn’t talk abt u :((

so all he could do was say this upcoming was really nice so far and subtly brag abt u to everyone JHGKJSDFHLK

when the official ads & promotional art were finally released 🥺🥺 when i tell u he immediately went live talking abt the game and u HKGJHFDK

he didn’t care that he streamed at an ungodly hour bc he’s been waiting for the reveal for so long he needs to let everyone know </3

he retweeted everything from their official twt straightaway, made a yt video based off his spontaneous stream promoting the game + pinged his entire server abt it

yes

his nearly 200k server all got pinged abt this one game bc he’s in love with a character from it

and he has no regrets abt it <33

the day the game was available for download, he stREAMED THE ENTIRE DOWNLOAD PROCESS

while he and his chat were waiting, they decided to watch the trailers and character showcases to get a feel for the game, and played some mario kart to pass the time !!

as soon as the game loaded, he threw mario kart behind him and went on 🐥

he typed his name (ajax) for the when he chose aether and literally everyone was appreciating the aesthetics HKJFS

but childe,,, he was waiting for it to be over so he could see u ;-;

he appreciated the aesthetics, fighting mechanics & voice acting a lot tho !!

now he had gotten through all the tutorials, got all the chests he could he was finally in mond

and there u were 🥺 after the dvalin encounter u arrived before kaeya did

and boy did he show u off sm to his viewers HKJHKLF

they knew he was down bad before but now?? they know it’s hopeless to save him and if he ever falls out of love that’s when the world ends

luckily that’ll never happen tho <33

but he took !! so many !! screenshots !!

oh, and did i mention he changed his wallpapers to u? and his twt + discord pfps are also some very aesthetic screenshots of u from that first scene ;-;

he just appreciates u sm okay 🥺

he even clutched his chest where his heart is and sunk down his chair when he heard u speak 😩

his chat just spammed his downbad + y/nlove + SHRIMP emotes and he accepted them all with grace <33

now when he unlocks the wishing feature,,, u already know he’s wishing for u as soon as possible

ur in the standard banner so ur always there which he appreciates but he would’ve wanted u to be limited so he can rub it in ppl’s faces ;-;

and since it was the first release rewards, he had tons of wishes right off the bat !!

he was gonna roll for venti after he gets u bc,,, well does he need a reason??

also he doesn’t do well with archer characters in general ;;; but if ur an archer then ur obv an exception sooo

bUT he got a 5 star in his first 20 pulls !!

tho it was diluc 👩‍🦯

while he was happy bc he got an incredibly meta character right off the bat,

he wasn’t interested in diluc,,, (even now his diluc is barely looked after, and only used for spiral abyss, *sweats*)

the next 5 star he got was around the 60 mark, and he got a weapon,,,

i mean,,, he got the weapon that was most suited for u so that’s smth at least (ˉ▽ˉ；)

after he used all his remaining primos and fates, he finally got u 🥺

he just went “fuck the storyline” and immediately put u in his party and just

admired u as a whole 

went through all the voice lines available, ur character story, ur idle animations (he had a heart attack from u and his chat clipped it) and took many, many screenshots 

his favourite voice lines would have to be the night + about us + (y/n)’s hobbies

and then he equipped u with ur weapon and damnnn did u look so good with it 😩

he changed u to be his avatar, with his signature as :

“(y/n)’s whale <3”

and now the whaling process begins 👩‍🦯

after at least £2k, he got u to c6, along with at least 1 copy of all the standard 5 stars,,

then he went for venti’s banner—

his chat were just too focused on how he’s gonna play u to even think of anything else tbh HKJAH

with ur kit, u were honestly seen to be a dps or even a sub dps if ppl don’t want u on the field all the time

so definitely a perfect character for mr meta strimmer tartaglia (his twitch name btw ;;; childe is just smth he prefers his community to call him as but they also call him ajax too HKJSD) here

so he went through the archon quests with u as his carry and i won’t lie, ur name card is smth he has printed and framed behind him after he got it 🥺

he later finds out ur part of the fatui in the liyue archon quest tho and has to fight u with,,,

well, u ;;;

he finds it hot tho so it’s okay—

i won’t lie tho, his zhongli after he got him is his second strongest after u

he just builds all his characters in the most broken way he can so he can show his viewers that everyone can be a dps in their own right, not just the ones meant to be since there’s no right or wrong in this game !!

but now ur weapon is r5, ur lvl 90 and u have lvl 20 5 star artifacts that make u the most broken (y/n) seen

ppl who co op with him are honestly baffled,,, especially when the feature of them being able to view other players’ character stats become available,,,

u with ur nearly 3k atk,,,

he’s hit over 600k with u tho and he’ll always flex that

no one can top him as a (y/n) main and that’s honestly just a fact at this point 😩

when he saw that the dating sim hangouts was official, his immediate and iconic response was simply ;

“so when will (y/n) become a dateable, huh 🤨”

to this day he’s still waiting to be able to date u in-game <//3

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact childe #genshin childe #childe #childe x reader #genshin childe x reader #genshin impact childe x reader #childe headcanons #childe scenarios #childe fluff #hsdkjfhklsdfs childe pls come hom on main ;-; #streaming dreams

[aliensunflower-fics]

Marinette The Perfect Daughter In Law: A Prompt

[ I've seen a few ‘everyone loves Marinette AU’s’ and a couple Marvel DC ‘all the mentors want THEIR kid to end up with Marinette AU’s’ and well frankly! I felt inspired! So I present to you my new prompt / AU thing! In which all the most powerful / rich / popular people in Paris decide to play matchmaker… ]

It starts when Adrien and Kagami have a less than AMICABLE break up according to their parents and the media anyway in reality it was a really REALLY dull break up. The pair have been ‘dating’ (using each other as an excuse to go out and experience normal teenage stuff) since they were 15. Now at 17 soon to be 18 the pair decided to publicly break up in order to pursue other people and interests. The problem is they never told their parents the truth so both Gabriel and Kagami’s mother Tomeo feel protective and concerned about what must surely be an upsetting first heartbreak for their child. And okay maybe both parents take that out on each other and both get a bit defensive and protective. And MAYBE it ends with Tomeo vowing to get revenge for her daughter. Enter, Marinette. Up and coming fashion designer for the rich and famous! She’s single, talented, and as far as Tomeo knows Gabriel is interested in the girl for her talent. So what better revenge could exist but having Marinette take an interest in Kagami!

Kagami has no idea why her mother suddenly has an interest in Marinette but she wont complain about having more time with her very cute designer friend. And all the outfits Tomeo is paying Marinette to make for Kagami is giving the young fencer plenty of up-close and personal moments with Marinette. And okay Marinette is VERY cute and Kagami wont question why she suddenly has all this tine with Marinette, eating ice cream with the girl and having brunch. But she knows shes absolutely head over heels when Marinette shows up at her fencing tournament gives her a luck charm and cheers her on wearing HER colors. Obviously Kagami wiped the floor with all the competition she cant be seen hesitating in front of Marinette!

On Tomeo’s side of things she makes sure that the paparazzi still lurking around after Kagami and Adrien’s breakup catch photos of what could easily be interpreted as dates between the girls. After all this is a revenge ploy but also Marinette is fantastic so Tomeo is 300% down with Kagami ‘bringing her into the family’ something she tells Kagami after the first paparazzi ‘date photos’ leak into the news. Kagami still has no idea this was an orchestrated affair and just thinks her mothers caught on to her feelings and is overjoyed that Marinette is approved of because after the cheek kiss Marinette gave her for winning the fencing tournament Kagami was preparing to fight her mother for the right to pursue the young designer seriously. After all she never hesitates! 

But Tomeo never realized Gabriel isnt the only one interested in Marinette. Audrey Bourgeouis has been keeping an eye on Marinette trying to find a way to get Marinette on to her side and away from Gabriel. So when she sees the photos of Kagami and Marinette she sees an opportunity. After all if Marinette isnt exclusively into men (and those photos of her flushed cheeks as Kagami cleans ice cream off her bottom lip are a clear indication shes not) then Audrey smells opportunity. After all Marinette was Chloe’s first crush! How cute would that be! The next day Marinette is being offered yet another opportunity to intern under Audrey this time with much looser restrictions. When Marinette accepts she suddenly finds herself working with Chloe… A LOT. The pair are modeling together, often paired together for shoots in perfect complementary clothes that screams ‘opposites attract’. Chloe is also helping manage Marinette’s brand and the two start to get along very well. The model photos and their business lunches are soon plastered alongside the Kagami and Marinette outings with parisian gossip blogs finding their interest picked by this potential love triangle.

Chloe for one, was confused at first. Sure she knew her mom was interested in Marinette but she never thought SHE would be working so closely with her first crush. And Chloe tries to ignore it, after all those are dead feelings! And Marinette woud never forgive her anyway so why even- Wait. Is that Marinette in a downright gorgeous golden dress? A-and she will be posing right next to Chloe for their shared shoot? Well… Chloe always thought herself deserving of royalty and damn if Marinette aint the princess of her dreams. Sorry Adriken’s you had your chance to get the girl, but now its winner keeps all and Marinette is the only prize shes interested in. For the record Alya is freaked out by Chloe being nice, but shes more weirded out by Chloe being protective and handsy and downright shamelessly flirty with Marinette. Audrey is pleased when she hears the news and is quick to give her daughter encouragement acting as if none of this was premeditated at ALL.

Oh but they have no idea that this is just the beginning. Because guess who's moved back into town. Adrien’s favorite cousin and aunty. And Felix’s mom is quite the busybody and dammit Felix needs friends! And maybe a cute girlfriend! And oh whos that pretty girl on the magazine cover? Marinette? The one her celebrity connections have nothing but praise for? Perfect! Shes invited to lunch with Felix and herself on friday to discuss movie costumes! And oh Audrey dear dont you think Marinette would look fabulous sandwiched between TWO blondes! Felix hasnt modeled in a while but come now. So suddenly Marinette is being spotted with Felix guiding him about paris and modeling with him AND Chloe under AUDREY’s brand NOT Gabriels.

Felix thought hed really hate Marinette; he tried to ignore her he really did. But shes funny, witty and sweet. Not to mention trustworthy, so a good candidate for a business partner. And thats it, but then he has to admit hes impressed when he rolls up to a photoshoot and Chloe! The definition of brat personified is acting… Bearable. Yes, somehow Marinette has done the impossible! She has tamed the beast known as Chloe. And yes fine he will admit shes drop dead gorgeous and how intelligent of her to learn all sides of the fashion industry and boost her rep with modelling! Soon hes spending more time with her, he tries to argue he needs a guide, that shes the most bearable person to be with! That she is just a friend- Oh god. No it cant be! He sounds like-! Like ADRIEN! And Chloe already told him about THAT mess! No! Absolutely not! He will not lead on Marinette like his idiot cousin! Marinette is a rare and beautiful woman! She could be his queen! And god he has to admit it much as he loathes too Marinette’s smile is enough to make him thank every non-existent god. He will win her heart, show her that she deserves better than his brain dead cousin! Felix is sure mother will approve of his decision to pursue the girl, now he just needs to do more shoots with Marinette...

And that's what finally gets Gabriel to snap. Because REALLY Felix!? Is there no loyalty to FAMILY. Not to mention he was totally drafting a potential contract for Marinette when Audrey snapped her up the witch! But its fine! Marinette has always been interested in Adrien! Surely she still is? Surely she's not been swayed by any of her new suitors! Right? Gabriel knows he can't mess with Audrey’s contract so he goes through Adrien, freeing up his sons schedule and telling him to spend time with Marinette to help her ‘adapt’ to the harsh world of fashion and modeling. He uses Adrien’s heroic nature to make it sound like hed be saving her from Chloe and Felix. And sure enough Adrien bites, using his friendship with Chloe to worm into fittings, meetings, and photo shoots. At first hes just there to make sure Chloe and Felix arent hurting sweet Marinette. But when he sees the blondes fighting for her attention, flirting with her, posing with her in some rather romantic settings. Suddenly hes less worried and more… Jealous? No! Not him! Hes concerned, confused, suspicious! Obviously he needs to spend more time with Mari- Wait! When did Kagami get here to take Marinette to lunch! And why are they all ignoring him!!!

Now Marinette is fully in the public's eye. Gossip blogs are being fed bits of info writing up each ‘candidates’ appeal as THE romantic partner to the Marinette Dupain-Cheng paris new darling, the girl with a heart of gold too oblivious to see the trail of hearts following her around! But there is still another contender yet to enter the game! Jaggeds been away on tour teaching Luka his up and coming protege all the tricks. And lets not lie Luka has his own fans now, enough to rival all the others. Jagged sees Luka as his own son, even calling him as much! Hell hes even adopted Luka and Juleka and when I say adopted I mean Jagged literally got shared custody of the kids when their real dad tried to start trouble once Luka started gaining fame. Luka and Juleka for one love their adopted father and his wonderful fiance Penny. But back to Jagged, being Jagged. 

The moment Jagged is back in Paris he's checking up on his favorite designer and hopefully future daughter in law! When… WHAT'S THIS?! All the other ritchies in Paris are playing his game! Trying to get Marinette married into THEIR families! Not rock and roll at all! He was here first! And so being Jagged he decides to make Luka’s stake in the race for Marinette’s heart clear! By spamming social media with photos of Marinette being cute with Luka, taking his measurements, going out with him, the pair babying Fang, the two passed out against each other after a long concert. And he has photos going back at least a year or two! Soon Luka’s fans pick up the hype starting a trending hashtag finding the pair cute! Jagged feels confident that hes won! When Audrey retaliates, and from there its a complete train wreck. Before long each pair has a hashtag filled with cute moments and arguing over whos dating the model / fashion designer! 

Meanwhile Adrien is drowning in denial as he goes through each hashtag seething about how many MORE photos everyone else has with Marinette, when HE is her very good friend and was here first! Felix, Chloe and Kagami on the other hand have declared open war after they tried to talk to each other about the hashtags reasonably only for it to devolve into “so you agree Marinette is best with me!” - “WHAT! No! Thats not what I said! Besides she clearly is best with me!” - “Ridiculous!” And so on. Poor Luka is having an entirely different reaction hiding in shame unsure how to face Marinette because he WAS going to ask her on a proper date now that she seems over Adrien, because even with everything she's the melody playing in his heart and he had a plan! But now his mom and sister are texting him and teasing him and apparently he has MORE competition! Who do these people think they are to deserve Marinette! No! Luka won't lose Jagged has been teaching him to be bold and confident! And Marinette is worth all of his efforts! Jagged REGRETS NOTHING even if Penny confiscated the tv remote!

Marinette meanwhile has no idea what's going on because the whole class made a dumb bet on when the designer would notice with one of the bet conditions being that no one could tip Marinette off and that they have to keep her away from Paparazzi so they dont spoil it either. And sense Alya is helping manage Marinette’s social media Marinette hasn't looked at it yet so she has NO idea what's happening. But her birthday is coming up next week and Chloe definitely didn't get dibs on planning a surprise party for her all so she could spoil the girl and RUB her GREAT relationship with Marinette into her competitions FACES! The competition however (and Adrien JustAfriend Agreste) have decided that they really aren't going down without a fight!

[ Wanna Support Me? Donate HERE! ]

[ Wanna Read More? Masterlist HERE! ]

#my fic #kagaminette #lukanette #adrienette #chlonette #chloenette #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #everyone loves marinette #kagami tsurugi #adrien agreste #felinette #felix graham de vanily #chloe sugar #chloe bourgeois #ml prompt

[ouyangzizhensdad]

Perhaps you'd like a an ask that's not discourse related? If so, then I wanted to ask you if you know what jin zixuan thought of jin guangyao?

Hi anon,

I appreciate your non-discourse-related ask 😉. Your question made me realise that the novel seems to explicitly avoid giving us any real sense of what Jin Zixuan thought of Jin Guangyao, or how he reacted to the ways other people treated JGY. It seems that JZX remained unaware at the time that Meng Yao came on his birthday--and literally got kicked out. At Phoenix Mountain, JZX stops being mentioned after JGY appears and while his mother mistreats him--he’s only brought back into the narration at the very end to scream at JYL. JZX is also absent the night that WWX goes to Jinlintai to confront the Jins about Qiongqi path and in the direct aftermath. But let’s dig for crumbs and make sense of gaps, and let’s see what we can infer from them.

We know that, originally, Jin Zixuan was the epitome of the proud Jin: “The ways of the Jin Sect were proud, and Jin Zixuan inherited every single drop of this. With his high standards, he had been unsatisfied with this engagement since a long time ago.“ We could wonder if the circumstances of JGY’s birth would have been something JZX would have judged him for. We know that he took offense to WWX’s persona, although it is not spelled out exactly what offended him specifically: “Because of this engagement, Jin Zixuan had no positive impressions of the YunmengJiang Sect, and had frowned upon Wei Wuxian’s behavior since some time ago.“ However, it’s unclear whether the circumstances of WWX’s birth influenced how he perceived his behaviour. All we know for sure is that two other Jin family members--his father and Jin Zixun--never forgot about it and brought it up. We also know that in the past, JZX felt comfortable ignoring people’s good will towards him if he felt he was motivated in his view of them, as he did with JYL in the past:

Jin-furen had brought him to Lotus Pier a couple of times. Neither Wei Wuxian nor Jiang Cheng liked to play with him; only Jiang Yanli wanted to feed him the food that she made. Jin Zixuan, however, didn’t really like to pay her any attention.

At the same time, we do know that JZX had a sense of righteousness, what with him standing up against Wen Chao at Dusk-Creek Mountain. Likewise, we see with the soup incident that at least when it comes to a low-level cultivator who is a servant, a good deed done towards him without trying to gain his gratitude is enough to earn his respect, and for JZX to take action to raise the standing of that person:

Cleverly, the woman never acknowledged anything, but instead denied it ambiguously, her cheeks flushed, making it sound as though she was the one who did it, but didn’t want Jin Zixuan to know how much trouble she went through. And thus, Jin Zixuan didn’t force her to admit it any longer. However, in action, he had began to respect the cultivator. He began to pay attention to her, even raising her from a servant to a guest cultivator.

JZX even tells JYL: “Don’t think that just because you come from a powerful sect that you can steal and trample other people’s feelings. Some people, even if they come from poor backgrounds, their character are much better than the former’s. Please watch your conduct.” This underlines that, regardless of his upbringing, and perhaps even views that he might have held at some point in his life, at this point JZX seemed to want to judge others based on their character rather than their background. Of course, we can wonder if that reserve of good will would have extended to his half-brother, especially one that could try to take his place as the heir. However, considering the circumstances, from JGY’s birth to JGS’s decision to give him a name that did not align him with the same generation as JZX, we can wonder if anyone ever perceived then JGY as someone who could potentially become the next sect leader, as seen in this exchange between WWX and JC:

Jiang Cheng smirked, “Don’t carry your sword, then. It doesn’t matter. But don’t provoke Jin Zixuan from now on. He’s Jin Guangshan’s only son, after all. The future leader of the LanlingJin Sect will be him. If you beat him up, what should I, the sect leader, do? Beat him up with you? Or punish you?”

Wei Wuxian, “Isn’t Jin Guangyao here now? Jin Guangyao seems so much better than him.”

Jiang Cheng finished wiping his sword. After he scrutinized it for a while, he finally put Sandu back into its sheath, “So what, if he’s better? No matter how much better he is, no matter how clever, he could only be a servant who greets the guests. That’s all there is to his life. He can’t compare with Jin Zixuan.”

At Phoenix Mountain, while we do not see JZX say anything out of line to JGY, he is present while his mother and Jin Zixun disrespect him: and we get no reaction written for him while that takes place--he’s mostly licking his wounded pride. We also know that this disrespect by his family towards JGY was the norm, so we have to assume that JZX would have been a witness to it in other situations. In the context of that specific scene, it’s difficult to to infer something concrete from that silence: is it agreement? complicity? a certain indifference to JGY’s situation? an unwillingness of rock the boat or to seem to publicly challenge his mother? or simply him just being too self-absorbed by his romantic woes?

The next scene that would have made for an interesting case study is the night WWX comes to confront the Jins about the camp at Qiongqi Path. However, JZX is absent that night. Conveniently, or as a means to maintain a sense of ambiguity between him and WWX, we thereby do not know how JZX feels about what happened. He is also absent during the aftermath:  “At midnight, in the Golden Pavilion on JinlinTai sat over fifty sect leaders from sects of all sizes. Jin Guangshan sat in the foremost seat. Jin Zixuan was away [...].” (interesting that CQL added JZX to that scene). Which means he is not there to react to the mistreatment of JGY by others or to react to the way JGY is clearly lying for the purposes of manipulating the general opinion on WWX and save the Jin’s reputation.

We also do not get to witness the conversation that leads JZX to come to Qiongqi Path to try to stop Jin Zixun. All we get is a sentence of dialogue from JZX explaining that he thought JGY looked strange which prompted JZX tp questioned him questions (we of course know that JGY was purposefully acting that way to get JZX to go to Qionqqi Path, so it’s hard to take that as a sign of clear familiarity between them that would have allowed JZX to read hidden emotions from him). Did JZX ask out of specific concern for or suspicions of JGY? We don’t know! It is interesting to note though that, in this scene, Jin Zixun refers to JGY as “A-Yao”, which the narration contextualises by telling us that Jin Zixun started calling him in a more intimate manner despite the original contemps he had held for him. However, when JZX mentions JGY to Jin Zixun, he calls him “Jin Guangyao” (for reference, Jin Zixun calls JZX “Zixuan”).

All in all, we get very little from looking at JZX. However, there is something to be said in the absence of any specific grievances expressed by JGY towards him in terms of framing how JZX may have acted towards him when they were both at Jinlintai. Indeed, when Jin Ling asks JGY why he arranged for his father to go to Qiongqi path, meeting his death, JGY mentions the unfairness of the situation of both sons, but never brings up anything JZX did specifically to him. And we know that JGY has a great memory which allows him to hold grudges.

Suddenly, Jin Ling screamed, “Why?!” He stood up from beside Jiang Cheng. Eyes red, he rushed toward Jin Guangyao as he shouted, “Why did you have to do this?!”

Nie Huaisang hurried to pull back Jin Ling, who seemed as though he wanted to fight with Jin Guangyao. Jin Guangyao returned the question, “Why?” He turned to Jin Ling, “A-Ling, then could you tell me why? Why is it that even if I face everyone with a smile, I might not even receive the lowest form of respect, while even though your father was extremely arrogant, people flocked to him? Could you tell me why we were born from the same person but your father could relax at home with the love of his life playing with his child, while I never even dared be alone for long with my wife, shivering out of fright at first glance of my son? And I was ordered to do such a thing by my father as if it was natural—to kill an extremely dangerous figure who could flip out and conjure up a bloody massacre with his corpses anytime!

“Why is it that even though we were born on the same day, Jin Guangshan could host a grand banquet for one son, and watch with his own eyes how his subordinate kicked his other son down Jinlintai, from the first stair to the last!”

He finally revealed the hatred hidden deep within him. It wasn’t directed at neither Jin Zixuan nor Wei Wuxian, but rather his own father.

As a result, we might infer that, at the very least, JZX never directly acted towards JGY in a way that reflected how JGS or Jin Zixun (at some point) treated him. At the same time, it’s difficult to suggest that he stood up for him when other people disrespected him, and we know that JZX’s mother disrespected JGY in lieu of directing her anger toward the real culprit, her awful husband. Little seems to suggest that they grew intimate after JGY came to Jinlintai. It’s really hard to divine, as a result, what JZX might have thought of JGY.

The most interesting thing to take away from this is that it seems absolutely deliberate on MXTX’s part to show us as little as possible in terms of interactions between JZX and JGY. We can speculate as to why that is: to separate JZX from the machinations of this sect? to avoid giving us more ammunition to guess that JGY was behind JZX’s death? to ensure that WWX remains ambiguous towards JZX? or just as a means to avoid having to figure out how to work this dynamic into already complicated scenes and character relationships? etc.

#mdzs meta #mdzs #jzx #jin zixuan #jgy #jin guangyao

[honeymoonjin]

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ot7 x reader || ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 11.1k || ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: smut - rated 18+

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ:

Sick of unsatisfying hookups, boring relationships or the company of your own hand? Apply today for the chance to be on bangasm.com’s very first reality show! Seven attractive young gentlemen will be vying for your choice of who is best in bed. All from different backgrounds, these men claim they’ll be able to rock your world, so don’t hesitate! Apply now!

Congratulations! You’ve been accepted as the Lady in the first season of The Gentlemen.

<- prev || masterlist || next ->

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: voyeurism, exhibitionism, filmed sex, unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), big dick namjoon serving us tripod realness, dom!joon, and when i say dom i mean both dominant AND domestic : ), impregnation kink, daddy kink, praise, dom!jimin, sub!reader in both of these scenes, lingerie kink (m wearing), copious teasing, very light spanking, french kissing, lapdance, the jimin scene is filthier than the tags give it credit for ngl, oral (m receiving), cum swallowing/eating, aftercare (as always) 

banner designer @jamaisjoons​ | thank you everyone in the sfhs server, you bring me so much joy, motivation and good ideas | AND finally thank you to the anon that suggested [redacted] jimin i legit replanned everything just to make that his prompt

DAY TWELVE

The mattresses in the room of bunk beds are surprisingly comfortable. The metal springs squeak a little if you move too much, but you wake up feeling well-rested.

“Not too bad, right?” Hoseok chirps, swinging out on the ladder and jumping down onto the floor with a thud. Using his laundry from the day before, he unceremoniously swaps his sleep shirt and boxers for some deep green skinny jeans and an orange sweater. Namjoon, more modest and distinctly more sleepy, grabs his clothes and stumbles back to his own room.

“The beds? Better than I was expecting for sure.”

Hoseok smiles warmly as you hop down the ladder and arrive on steady ground again, toes curling into the carpet. He fiddles quickly with a chunky watch, doing up the links. “Breakfast is downstairs if you want it.”

You throw him a teasing grin. “Not if you’re making it, thanks.”

He has the good graces to pretend to be offended, before tugging you into a playful side-hug, ignoring your squeak of surprise. “No, you cheeky fucker, Jungkook bought pancake mix. He texted me saying there’s plenty for everyone.”

“Jungkook making breakfast?” you ask dubiously, but the warm image of pancakes for breakfast makes your stomach growl. “Let me get dressed real quick and I’ll come down.”

Jungkook, it seems, is starting out the day cheerful as ever. He gives you a big grin when you, Namjoon and Hoseok come down for breakfast, and he makes sure to dish up the biggest pancakes for you, before taking the second biggest for himself.

Jin raises a teasing brow when you come down accompanied by the two men, Namjoon still with his hair ruffled up awkwardly from his slumber. “Long night?” he questions with a cheesy wink.

Hoseok catches on to the teasing nature, letting out a dramatic sigh. “Sadly, Namjoon wanted a rest day, so we didn’t enjoy any funny business.”

Jungkook watches the three of you closely, lips tightening just a little bit before he breaks out into a cheeky smile. “I think Y/n would have been too tired out to do anything more anyway.”

You choke on air, a forkful of pancakes blessedly not in your mouth yet. Beside you, Hoseok chuckles awkwardly. “Goodness, JK, we heard enough yesterday. The gym walls are not as thick as they should be.”

Instead of blushing like you are, Jungkook puffs his chest up. “I’ve never heard Y/n scream like that with any of you guys. Then again; I bet you haven’t made her squirt like I did.”

This time you aren’t so fortunate, coughing on a mouthful that you’d anxiously stuffed in to keep yourself occupied. You send Yoongi a grateful look as he slides you a glass of water.

“Jesus, Jungkook,” Jin grimaces, “we’re trying to eat breakfast.”

You keep your eyes down, confused by Jungkook’s behaviour and more than a little embarrassed.

When you hear Namjoon speak up, his voice is strangely tensed. “That’s really not appropriate.”

A heated pause. “This is literally a porn show,” Jungkook states defensively, “sex is the whole reason we’re here. I think everyone’s forgetting this is a competition about being the best in bed, I’m just- You know what, never mind, pretend I didn’t say anything.”

“You just what?” Namjoon questions. It’s unlike him to be argumentative, and you shift in your seat, taking another sip of the ice-cold water. “Did you really make us all pancakes just so you could gloat? Y/n is a person, not a video game, Jungkook. Have a little respect.”

Jungkook doesn’t respond, but when you glance up, the frustrated rolling of his eyes and furious stabbing of his fork in a pancake speaks volumes.

Yoongi pinches his brow. “Jin-hyung, can you pass the syrup? Thanks.”

Namjoon stares expectantly at the youngest Gentleman for a few moments, before letting out a light huff and returning to his food.

Silence continues for a moment or two before Taehyung pipes up, voice tiny in the oppressive tension. “How many people still have to do their prompts this week? I haven’t done mine yet.”

Yoongi sends him a lightly exasperated look. “Really?”

Taehyung gives a small shrug, glancing to the camboy sitting beside him. “I mean… I don’t think we need to be explicit but this show is about sex. I feel like it’s equally bad if we don’t talk about it at all, you know?”

“The kid’s right,” Jin allows with a wry grin. “I’ve done mine. Tuesday; though I suppose some of you saw.”

Jimin cocks his head, lost. “Saw? Uh, yes, I haven’t done my prompt yet. Actually, uh, if you guys wanna take part, stay in the lounge tonight. I need an audience.”

You send him an inquiring look. “What about me?”

Jimin lets out a short laugh. “Your participation is kind of mandatory. Please stay in the lounge too.”

You appreciate the slow brushes of conversation that ease the tension away. “Am I an audience member or a volunteer?” You grimace suddenly. “Wait, fuck, it isn’t like a circus act or something, right? You aren’t a magician?”

“Don’t worry, the show won’t be that kind of magic,” he promises.

You go to reply, but your attention is caught by the way Jungkook is openly glaring at Namjoon like he’s waiting for something. “Kook?” you question.

Jungkook’s eye twitches. “Why aren’t you saying anything now, Namjoon? So they get to talk about sex but I can’t?”

Jin sucks in harshly through his teeth, sending a look of alarm to the youngest. “Okay, break it up, that’s enough. Jungkook, any more smart comments and you can leave. We’ll talk privately if you need it.”

Jungkook lets out a bitter scoff, but Namjoon is already rising hastily, banging the edge of the table in his haste to get up. “I’ll go,” he urges, “you all can enjoy your breakfast in peace.”

Nobody seems to even breathe as the sounds of Namjoon’s footsteps fade away, a door upstairs shutting harshly.

Yoongi has his face bent, thumb and forefinger pressing to his forehead, like a headache is coming on. “What the fuck was that?” he muses tiredly.

Jungkook doesn’t answer, staring at his pancakes like he’s trying to make them burst into flames.

You bite your tongue harshly, unsettled by how tempers flared so quickly. Unsure of what to do, you stare at Jungkook for a moment. You don’t want it to seem like you’re picking a side, but he has five others around him, and Namjoon is upstairs alone. You slide your chair out, quieter than last time. “I’m just going to check on him. Jungkook; you’re fine, I’m not angry.”

He breaks out of his death stare at his breakfast to send you a look of bewilderment, but Yoongi is already clicking his tongue disapprovingly. “Well, I am,” the second eldest declares, and you rush upstairs before the scolding begins.

Namjoon answers, albeit reluctantly, when you knock on the door and call out to him. He’s well and truly awake and alert now, hair combed down sullenly, the purple looking more faded than ever against the rich blue of his long-sleeved t-shirt. “Are you okay?” he asks with a tired frown.

Your brows lift automatically. “That is the exact question I came up here to ask. Can I come in?”

His bedroom is even more tidy than usual, now that he hasn’t been sleeping there. You sit down on the edge of his bed, feeling an unsettling swirl of dread.

“I’m sorry about Jungkook,” is the first thing out of his mouth as he sits down beside you, shoulders hunched like he’s making himself as small as possible.

You shake your head slowly. “You shouldn’t apologise on other people’s behalf. He’ll say sorry if he wants to.”

Namjoon pauses for a moment. “Then I’m sorry about contributing to the uncomfortable atmosphere.”

Despite the situation, your mouth quirks into a grin and your eyes soften. “Forgiven. I’m more worried than angry, you know? About the both of you.”

Namjoon lets out a sigh, eyes dancing aimlessly around the room, no doubt pondering complex concepts at the speed of light like he usually was. “This is probably to be expected, right? Tension. I didn’t think I’d be the one involved, though.”

“Ah, it wouldn’t be a reality show without some drama,” you allow, scooting back on the bed so you can tuck your feet up, crossing your legs. “We’ve just gotta move past it, I guess.”

“Didn’t it make you uncomfortable?” Namjoon blurts suddenly, cringing at the volume of his voice. “Him talking about you so publicly like that?”

You run your tongue along the inside of your cheek. “It took me off guard for sure. I don’t know; I guess sex is kind of our currency in here, you know? Him being so, uh, bold about it out of nowhere is pretty weird, though.” You shrug it off. “Maybe he slept bad last night.”

Namjoon searches your face. “I’m too much of a prude, aren’t I? Things like that bother me, so why did I sign up for a porn show?”

You turn to face him, brows knitted in sympathy. “Just because others are more open doesn’t mean being modest is a bad thing. Don’t let Jungkook’s bad mood make you believe that you don’t belong on the show or that you need to change. Okay?”

The two of you share a tender moment of eye contact, before Namjoon laughs shyly and turns his head away. You grin at him. “What?”

“It’s stupid,” Namjoon deflects, “it’s not the time.”

“Not the time for what?” you press. “Tell me; I’m curious now.”

Namjoon’s eyes dart up, pausing briefly at your lips. “I just… I really wanted to kiss you.”

Your heart swells, but you keep your face open, your voice barely louder than a whisper. “Then you should kiss me.”

All the breath leaves his lungs in a rush, but before he can inhale again, he’s propelling himself forward, wide hands cradling your jaw steady so your lips can join, a little uncoordinated but perfect nonetheless.

The small whimper of surprise is muffled by his lips, but you quickly melt into him, hands clutching at the front of his shirt for stability.

You can taste the remnants of breakfast, the sweet stickiness of maple syrup on his lips. You deepen the kiss to seek out more of the flavour, breaths escaping your nose as you don’t dare part for a second. Namjoon seems equally enraptured, shy flicks of his tongue making your head spin.

You lean in until your wrists are pinned between his chest and yours, and then lean in more, wanting to be close. Like oxygen to fire, the more contact you get the more desperate you become, and when his hands lower to lift you easily onto his lap, grinding you unconsciously against his erection, you feel ablaze.

“I need to-nm-do my prompt,” Namjoon murmurs out, teeth catching on your tongue with how deeply you kiss.

You swallow, leaning back slightly to take a breath in. “We don’t have to now,” you assure, moving your hands up to stabilise yourself on his shoulders so that he cranes his neck up to chase your lips. “Or have you graduated from Hoseok’s School of Sexual Prowess already.”

You smile down at the way his eyes flutter shut with a crooked grin, delicate crescent moon lash line a deep brown against his tanned skin. His lips are flushed and swollen, and he swallows like a man parched before he speaks, blinking blearily up at you. “I prefer to learn on the job,” he quips hoarsely.

You grin, leaning down to nudge him slightly to the side with your nose, giving you a better angle to leave a trail of light kisses from the corner of his mouth to the top of his jaw, tugging on his earlobe just enough that you feel his dick twitch against you. “What’s it gonna be, then? Am I a naughty student? Slacking receptionist? Do I need to sign for a package, delivery boy?”

The chuckle Namjoon lets out is pained and reluctant. “Was that what you were hoping for? It’s a bit more romantic than that.”

“Romantic is good,” you assure, letting his arms on your hips hold you steady as you lean back and search his face. “Do I get any more clues? Tell me something.”

When he blinks up at you, there’s something open and earnest in his gaze, like he’s left behind that shy boy that blushes at any mention of sex. “Let me show you, love.”

He cradles your back and lays you down on his bed so delicately it takes your breath away. Without speaking, he presses his lips to yours again, and once again you feel unanchored in an ocean, kept floating by the pressure of his proximity. Slower than usual, you move against each other; his hands bracing him up by the pillow, your leg hitched up over his waist to keep him close. Between the soft cushioning of his bed and the solid heat of his body, you feel secure and safe, eyes closed so that he fills your other senses entirely.

The sweetness of the maple syrup on his tongue and lips has long since melted away, but it leaves behind his natural flavour, one you think you prefer more. Aftershave still clings to his cheeks, tingling your nostrils, but past it is the bright candylike scent of his orange blossom shampoo, and they mix dizzily as the ends of his hair brush your skin.

Need begins to pool between your legs, but it doesn’t drive you, instead staying muted in the background like the pleasant heat of a bubbling jacuzzi, hips rocking lazily without any true purpose as you focus on the shocks of pleasure when your tongues connect.

It’s impossible to tell how long the two of you stay like that, no urgency or haste, just enjoying the intimacy and closeness of shared breaths and swollen lips. When he trails a hand down to slip under your shirt, even his slightly calloused fingertips running up your side is enough to make you whimper, sensitised to every touch.

Namjoon groans when his palm covers your breast, gripping it and swiping a thumb over your stiffened peak, arousing even through the fabric of your bra, his mouth only leaving yours for the second it takes to push your shirt over and off, connecting again with a small grunt of need.

Though Namjoon’s body is hot like a furnace against you, the open air still causes you to shiver, arching your back so Namjoon can blindly locate the hooks on your bra, able to slip it off you in no time at all.

This time, when his teeth tug at your lip and you feel the uninhibited contact of his fingertip tracing a circle around your nipple, it’s like a spike of electricity straight to your core, igniting that spark of full-blown arousal. Namjoon’s lips quirk against yours when you let a moan catch in your throat.

When he shifts down, you’re expecting his mouth on your breast, or perhaps him to sit up to take his own clothes off, but he doesn’t go nearly that far. Instead he presses your jaw up, exposing your neck but laying kisses on the underside of your chin first.

Perhaps it’s that you weren’t expecting that touch, or perhaps such a unique place isn’t used to that type of attention, but his swollen lips caressing just below your jaw feels magical, eyelids fluttering as he sucks so, so gently.

His hand never leaves your breast, massaging the flesh, tracing where your regular skin pebbles into the dusky areola, nail dragging teasingly over the bud, and your mind is working itself into knots trying to process all the sensations he’s stirring in you.

If his first time was thrilling, this was nothing short of electric, neon bursts of colour behind your eyelids the only thing you can see. As his kisses slowly venture lower, dipping to the base of your neck, pulse throbbing against him, you picture your nerve endings like purple strands of electricity in a plasma ball, lighting up with every touch of his fingers, lips and tongue to your skin.

“Na-Namjoon,” you gasp out, swallowing to ease the dryness in your throat, “don’t tease, I need you.”

Namjoon shifts lower, but not low enough, chin resting on your chest as he looks up at you with a pleased smile, clearly satisfied with his improvement from last time. “But love, there’s no rush. We have the rest of our lives, remember? To have and to hold,” he rumbles lowly, pressing  two light kisses to the top of your heaving breasts, “til death do us part.”

Your eyes widen. “Oh.”

Namjoon’s lip twitches. “Oh,” he repeats playfully. Goosebumps break out on the tops of your arms at this sudden brazenness. He’d clearly been doing plenty of talking with Hoseok, and to see his hard work pay off in your pleasured reactions probably gave him a burst of confidence. “Are you going to be patient for me now, love? Let me savour you?”

Your breath catches in your throat, so you just nod shakily.

Satisfied with your response, Namjoon quirks a lip before using the very tip of his tongue to trail a circle around your nipple, just wide enough that the bud strains for his attention. Your fingers clutch his sides, annoyingly still clothed, as he moves to the other one, still giving your nipple a wide berth. “C-come on, Joonie,” you complain hoarsely, “I need more.”

When he looks up at you from below his lashes and sucks one nipple slowly into his mouth, tongue pressing it against his upper teeth, you hiss sharply, releasing the air in a breathy moan. Namjoon suckles at you gently, still languid but no longer avoiding your most sensitive areas, and the hand not propping him up begins rolling the other one between his fingers, making you shudder.

You’re so wet between your legs it’s growing uncomfortable, and so you cant your hips up towards him, hoping he gets the message. He tuts at you, but pulls off your nipple with a wet pop and sits up to undress further.

Namjoon shucks his own shirt without ceremony before his fingers find your waistband, and you let him slide off your pants and underwear as you lie back and enjoy the sight of his thick chest and smooth stomach, a trail of dark baby hairs disappearing past his jeans that you didn’t remember noticing the first time you slept with him.

He takes off those jeans, his boxers too, and joins you on the bed again, running a warm palm up your side. “I want to taste you,” he announces simply, carding a hand through his hair to keep it out of your face.

“Fuck, please.” You watch with wide eyes as he lies on his stomach, hands dipping under your thighs to lift and part them. The exposed air has you clenching instinctively, and you swear you can see his eyes dilate at the sight. “Namjoon,” you whine, back arching in impatience.

“Shh, love, I’ve got you,” he assures, peppering kisses from just below your knees, down your thighs until you can feel his breath on your core. “So beautiful.”

You can barely breathe, head propped up on the pillow to stare down the plains of your chest and stomach to the insanely attractive man between your legs. Though you’d grown fond of the kinkier, wild scenes - in fact, your dreams at night had taken a turn since joining the show - something about seeing Namjoon so at his element in this domestic atmosphere has you dripping.

Like he has all the time in the world, he locks eyes with you and blows a wave of slightly cool air over your folds. You breathe out a groan, sending him what you hope is a convincing-enough pleading gaze. He smiles placidly, licks his lips, ducks his head even further, and-

And blows another stream, this time narrowed and colder, directly over your clit. You shudder and buck instinctively in his grip, his hands on your thighs keeping you spread.

“Come on,” you gasp out, “Hoseok’s made you into a fucking demon!”

“Oh, trust me,” Namjoon murmurs, “Hoseok’s version was way kinkier than this. I’m trying to be romantic and sensual.”

You shift again, fruitlessly trying to wiggle your hips closer. “It would be really fucking romantic if you would actually put your mouth on my-ah!”

Just like you know Hoseok would (you don’t know whether to thank him or curse him for this), Namjoon strikes when you least expect it, and when you most need it.

Though his mouth is small, his tongue is no less nimble, darting deeply through your folds to collect your juices and using them to slurp harshly at your clit. You jerk, hand shooting down to latch in his hair, but he continues that constant, unyielding vacuum until you’re squirming hopelessly beneath him, finally pulling off with the slightest graze of teeth.

“Happy now?” he retorts, swollen lips glossy with your slick. His hands tighten on your thighs. “Hold them.”

Invigorated by his command, you rush to grasp the backs of your knees, keeping your legs up and spread for him. “Fuck, so good, Joonie, w-want more.”

Now with two hands freed, it’s no surprise when two fingers find their way into your wet heat, twisting inside you with every smooth thrust. His chin is smeared with your wetness when he lowers it to continue laving his tongue over your sensitive clit, but he groans sinfully into you, like he’s getting just as much pleasure from it as you are.

Once he really gets going, he’s merciless, his fingers so thick that you don’t even need a third one to really feel him filling you, hooking up to rub at your g-spot every now and again to hear the involuntary whimpers you give out.

You hold onto your own knees for dear life, writhing under him as a hot coil tightens inside you. “Fu-fuck, Joonie, I’m getting close.”

His mouth detaches from your clit for a bare moment, enough for him to pant out a groan and stare lustily up at you. “Don’t cum yet,” he instructs lowly, “you’re going to cum on my cock this time, love.”

You whine, biting your lip harshly to try and distract from the building pleasure. “Then you have to- have to stop, Joonie,” you shudder out reluctantly.

To your surprise, Namjoon is even more begrudging than you are, tugging out his fingers to chase a last few indulgent licks up your seam before he finally sits up to kneel, panting. “Are you ready for me?”

You feel yourself grow impossibly wetter at the sight of him grasping his length, slipping it through your folds to slick it up. “Yes, god yes, I need it, need your cock,” you garble.

Namjoon’s eyes flutter shut for a moment, before he presses his head to your entrance, sinking in barely an inch to test your reaction. “Can’t wait to fill you up, love,” he admits, abs clenching with the effort it takes to sink in slowly. “Fuck a baby into you, my perfect girl.”

Your heart races at his words, clenching around. “God, yes, Joonie, please.” Though all the Gentlemen were well aware you were on birth control, there was something wildly erotic about the thought of it. “Fill me up, wanna be good for you.”

Finally he bottoms out, and your thighs shake at the stretch. With your hips tilted up, it almost feels like he’s fucking right into your stomach, so deep your mind struggles to process the sensations. He heaves a few breaths, giving you a chance to squeeze around him experimentally and grow accustomed to him filling you so completely.

You mumble out your permission for him to move breathily, the air punched out of your lungs when he pulls out only to drive deep inside of you in one slick thrust. Your mouth drops open once he begins to thrust, holding onto your knees for dear life as they tremble uncontrollably.

“God, look at you,” Namjoon pants out, chest heaving with excitement or exertion, perhaps a mix of both. One of his palms presses against the top of your stomach, increasing the pressure of his cock inside you. “‘Be so beautiful with my baby inside you, love, tummy swollen. I’ll take good care of you, would you like that?”

You have to squeeze your eyes shut to put all your focus into speaking. “Ye-yeah, I want that, Joonie,” you manage to articulate, his length keeping your mouth watering whenever he’s inside you. “Gonna be such a good daddy, Joon.”

Like a switch being flicked, Namjoon suddenly jerks, going rigid. Your eyes open blearily when he stills inside you, and you moan openly at the fucked-out look on his face, his eyes lidded and hair wild.

“S-say that again,” he commands, and your mouth drops open at the desperate grate to his voice.

So Namjoon liked to be called… “Daddy,” you whine experimentally, grinning when his cock twitches, hips juddering. “Want you to fuck me, Daddy, please move.”

“God, love, so fucking perfect for me,” he makes out before he starts off again with a renewed vigor, hands kneading at your breasts, at the flesh of your hips, at your ass as he lifts you up to meet his every thrust.

The feeling of him fucking into you so intensely has you feeling delirious, unsure if the ringing in your ears is actually the sounds of your own cries, torn from your throat with every slap of his balls against your ass, the weight of his hips jerking you into the pillow more and more every time.

You feel the pressure of his body hovering just above you, the angle of his thrusts changing, then suddenly his mouth is on your breast again, sucking harshly at the nipple. With the way your body moves beneath him, he can’t help but scrape his teeth against you a couple times, but it just makes the pleasure soar higher, neon starbusts of colour behind your eyelids when you squeeze them closed.

“Close again,” you warn desperately, losing the grip on one of your knees due to the sweat gathering there. With one up and one down, the angle changes again, and you reach out blindly to latch onto his upper arm, screaming at the heights of pleasure. “Can I cum this time, Daddy, please let me cum!”

“Fuck, give it to me, cum for me,” he growls out around your breast, and you see stars.

The orgasm that rips through you is powerful enough that all your senses fade suddenly away, unable to feel anything expect a rush of pleasure all the way down to your toes, boneless yet convulsing as he pistons his hips into you once, twice, three more times until he’s taken by the way you clench tightly around him.

He laps clumsily, wetly at your nipple as he spills inside you, before the two of you are completely drained of energy. Panting, heaving, you don’t even manage to catch your breath before you’re falling into slumber, Namjoon still inside you.

--

“He told us to wait here, right?” you ask anxiously.

There are six of you gathered on the couches in the lounge. Television off, the silence is weirdly uncomfortable. Perhaps that’s just because you know that everyone is waiting here not only to see Jimin, but to see what Jimin is going to do to you.

Hoseok, tucked into the smallest corner of the couch on the right, huffs lightly at your question. “He’s Jimin, Y/n. Either he’s up there primping or he’s just making you wait to be obnoxious.”

Perched beside him with a glass of whisky, two fingers full, Yoongi sends a droll glare to Hoseok. “Bold words for a man who’s choosing to watch the show.”

“I’m curious, sue me.”

“I think we all are,” Namjoon adds, curled up beside you in the central position of the three couches. “I think the only one that knows his prompt is Tae.”

Taehyung turns to answer, propped up against Jin’s side on the left, but the eldest interrupts, a crease of worry between his brows. “Not all of us, it seems,” he points out. “Don’t you find it strange that Jungkook isn’t here?”

“Does he know?” Taehyung wonders, fingers dipping into his pocket to reach for his phone.

Yoongi frowns. “He knows. He asked me not to make him anything for dinner tonight. Said he wasn’t feeling well. Didn’t seem like he was sick, just… distressed. I think you should talk with him, Jin.”

Jin sucks in a breath, pauses, and exhales again, jaw flexing. “Sure.”

The six of you lapse into a slightly strained silence again, before Namjoon gets restless, shifting beside you until he finally clears his throat and looks up at Yoongi. “What is for dinner, hyung?”

“We didn’t really have much for lunch, so I’m thinking steak and pasta,” the doctor offers up. “There’s some carbonara sauce in the pantry that looks good.”

Taehyung coughs nervously. “Do we have steak? I didn’t think there were-”

“We had plenty this morning when I checked,” Yoongi cuts in evenly. “Should I be aware of any recent developments?”

The masseuse pouts, leaning further into Jin’s side like he’ll protect him. “Well… It’s just that I feel so bad for Mango! The kennel I bought online isn’t as insulated as I hoped it would be and I know she gets lonely.”

Yoongi groans, going lax on the leather of the couch. “So you figured she’d what? Cuddle with the steaks?”

“I just figured maybe if I gave her nice food she’d cheer up,” Taehyung adds, “and it was just two! Are you mad at me?”

“No, I guess I’m not. Jungkook isn’t eating anyway, and…” Yoongi grins. “As penance, you can have plain pasta and watch the rest of us enjoy our perfectly cooked steaks.”

Taehyung throws himself against Jin dramatically, but even as he moans in misery, a relieved smile crooks at his lips. “I suppose,” he drawls begrudgingly, and once again a light atmosphere fills the room, like everyone’s just sighed out a breath of relief.

You lean onto the arm of the couch, facing Taehyung. “Tae, Jimin’s prompt isn’t too, like, intense, right?”

He cocks his head. “What do you mean? For him or for you?”

“Uh…” Your mind whirls blankly, cheeks heating up as you draw the attention of the other guys. “For- for me. So far some of the scenes have been pretty taxing, and I guess I just didn’t expect such a jump up from Week One.”

Instead of laughing or teasing, the others go a little solemn, perhaps even bashful. “Jimin’s isn’t super crazy, Y/n, don’t worry,” Taehyung assures quickly.

Yoongi bites down hard on his tongue, jaw popping. “We didn’t go too hard on you, did we?”

You suck in a breath. “I mean- No, not individually. It builds up though, you know?” Something niggles in the back of your mind, something you’ve wondered for a while. “Do you guys talk about it?”

Hoseok hesitates. “About fucking you?”

Your cheeks are on fire as you curl up small in the corner. “Not- Not that specifically, but just… Do you guys discuss who goes when and who has what? I kinda wondered why you spread yourselves out, if it’s just a coincidence or if you- Never mind, it’s stupid.”

“We kinda do,” Hoseok admits freely. “Like, obviously we don’t all sit down in a room brainstorming or something-” You don’t miss the way Taehyung and Namjoon instinctively lock gazes, though you can’t quite read their expressions. Hoseok continues, “but we do chat with each other and try and give each other space.”

Jin shrugs easily. “Yeah, like, I’ll just say in the groupchat, ‘I’m planning on doing my scene outside, look outside at your own risk’ or whatever.” The eldest stiffens as he’s fixed with several glares of alarm, including your own. “What? Were we not meant to tell her about the groupchat?”

Your mouth drops open. “You guys have a groupchat without me? I wanna see!”

“That defeats the purpose of you not being in the group chat,” Yoongi points out, though his grin is more sheepish than mischievous.

You make a noise of exasperation, ready to protest further, but before you can open your mouth the doorbell rings.

Everyone freezes.

After a moment, the doorbell rings again.

“You should go get it,” Taehyung supplies helpfully, eyes on you. “Might be interesting.”

Your heart picks up with the cool thread of adrenaline. It’s time. All eyes are on you as you sit up and make your way out to the foyer, the tile cool under your bare feet.

Though the door is a rich mahogany, clouded glass panels on either side betray a dark figure, perfectly still. Even though you can barely see the outline, there’s no deny the expectant tilt of their head belongs to none other than Jimin.

By the time you pad up to the door and turn the knob, his hand is outstretched to ring the bell a third time, and his mouth parts in surprise before giving you a pleasant beam.

You’d been wondering if he was meant to be a delivery guy, a mechanic, something along those lines, but your first glance over him proves you wrong.

His blue hair is glossy enough to reflect the light of the lamp above the doorway, curled in graceful swoops on his forehead and temples. Though he always wore makeup, it was clear he’s set to impress, with a bold russet red lip, powerful black eyeliner and a spot of gold under each eye.

He’s taller than usual, and you glance down automatically, to be greeted with the most gorgeous black heels, stiletto points giving him an extra few inches of height. The shoes make his legs look a mile long, and you suck in a breath as you follow them up, realising they’re completely bare, the only adornment a sinfully tight pair of black fishnets that dig in to his thighs and calves.

In fact, all he seems to be wearing otherwise is a black trenchcoat, falling to mid-thigh and with the sash tied so tightly it accentuates his narrow waist.

All put together, he looks like sin personified, the kind sailors drown for. You can’t help but want to dive in yourself. Trying to go along with the roleplay, you play dumb. “Do I, uh, do I know you?”

Jimin’s smile broadens as his arm falls, hand resting snugly on his hip. “You will soon, sweetness.” Usually one for pinks, nudes and clear glosses, seeing him suddenly in a deep red makes you realise just how full his lips are. You miss the feeling of them on you. “Did Taehyung not tell you I was coming?”

“Did Tae-?” You clear your throat, unsure how to proceed. This Jimin was Amazonian; bruisingly pretty and intimidating in his grace. “I guess not? Was he supposed to?”

His eyes crinkle empathetically, darting past you into the foyer. “Let’s talk inside, shall we? I’m not exactly dressed for the outdoors.”

“Oh, fuck!” you blurt instinctively, and you swear his lip twitches before you’re backing away hastily, ushering him inside. “I’m so sorry, please come in! Do you want me to take your coat? I don’t- I don’t know what you need.”

Jimin steps inside and closes the door behind him in one smooth motion, punctuated only by the click of his heels on the tile. He reaches out to pat your cheek, only somewhat condescendingly. “No wonder, sweetness, you didn’t even know I was coming.” That isn’t quite true, but in the scheme of things, you may as well not have known he was doing his scene tonight at all for all it’s helping you. “Why don’t you lead me to Taehyung? I assume he’s here.”

“Of course he’s- I mean, yes, he’s here. Right this way.”

The two of you only have a short trip to the lounge, where no doubt the other five have been straining their ears to eavesdrop, but every strike of his heels against the floor behind you has the hairs on the nape of your neck standing on end.

In the lounge, the guys are all turned around in their seats to shamelessly ogle Jimin, Taehyung the only one without the gobsmacked look on his face - though even he takes in an unsteady breath at how gorgeous the man looks.

You make your way to him, standing awkwardly in front of the couch that him and Jin share. Turning back to face Jimin, you can’t help but match Taehyung’s reaction. Jimin looks even more radiant in the decent lighting of the room. You can see now his trenchcoat is a lush fabric, slightly thicker than silk, and deeply matte. Around the inside of the collar is a faint embossed silver logo, promoting Chanel as the designer of that piece.

Ignoring the stunned silence of the room, Jimin slinks immediately to Taehyung, tipping his chin up with his knuckles. “Did you not tell Y/n about me, hm?” he questions with a faux pout. “Kept it a secret, our naughty Taehyungie.”

The masseuse wilts pleadingly under Jimin’s gaze, and the responding wicked grin makes you think that Jimin probably told him to keep quiet, only to tell him off for it now. “Sorry, Minnie,” Taehyung mutters nonetheless. “Wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Did you now?” Jimin lets go of him, stepping back. “I suppose we should get down to business, then. Are you all leaving, or do I have an audience tonight?” Glancing around imperiously, you watch as his eyes dart back and forth, smile faltering. His breath catches, eyes dull with disappointment that he quickly masks under a broad smile. “It’s just the six of you, then?”

Your heart aches as you think of the missing person still upstairs in his room. “Yeah, it’s just us.”

Always the professional, Jimin moves on without comment. “Well, then, sweetness; take a seat and get comfortable. You’re a lucky girl tonight.”

Your mouth feels dry even as it waters. Taking your seat beside Namjoon again, you watch in rapt anticipation as Jimin slips a hand into his pocket and pulls out his phone, fiddling with something on it as he strolls slowly into the center of the room, just in front of the television.

“We have a few rules,” Jimin announces. “No heckling, no getting drunk while I’m here, and no touching unless I give you permission. They’re simple, so I expect you to follow them. Got it?”

With his back to the group as he sets up his phone, you’re unsure who exactly he’s addressing, but some of you make general hums of confirmation, all the attention on Jimin.

When the music starts - a deep, thrumming beat with a sensual pace - you can see the change in him immediately, even from the back. His shoulders adjust, head tips back slightly like he’s letting it run through him, and his fingers find the knot of his sash.

You can barely comprehend the fact that Jimin is about to dance for you, breath caught in your throat when his hips begin to sway and the fabric of his trenchcoat loosens, slipping down just enough to reveal the tops of his shoulders, bare except two skinny black straps.

Following the groove of the music, he rocks his head back, hips shifting side to side, and lets the coat fall an inch at a time. A tight black bodice is revealed, structured leather with a soft velvet trim that covers most of his back. Sleeves dangling right at the ends of his fingertips, the coat dips just below the swells of his ass, which are clad in a racy g-string, a thicker band of lace low across his hips and a narrow one running down the middle of his cheeks. Letting the coat go completely, the last of his back silhouette is exposed, the leather garter straps that hold those fishnet stockings up.

“Shit!” Yoongi hisses under his breath, hands glinting in the light and whiskey glass significantly emptier than before. A dark patch spreads across one leg of his pants, evidence of him spilling his drink.

Though he was quiet, Jimin picks up on it, and turns smoothly, lightly surprised and heavily amused, watching Yoongi squirm in embarrassment as he approaches.

If the view from the back is breathtaking, seeing Jimin full-frontal is another level. The bodice has clearly been tailored for someone with a flat chest, but the shape no less speaks to the feminine style of a bra, roughly triangular leather covering the upper half of his chest to meet the smooth velvet straps. The whole piece is just short enough that it leaves a stripe of skin between fabrics, his hipbones jutting out gracefully and guiding your gaze lower, where the front of his lace panties strain with the size of his length, the tip threatening to peek out the top.

He’s hard, you notice with a start, and from the hazy look on everyone’s faces, they’ve noticed it too. Jimin likes this.

When he’s standing in front of Yoongi, towering over the other in his heels, he reaches out a hand silently, eyes darting to the glass in Yoongi’s hand.

The elder gulps, holding it up, blushing as Jimin wraps one hand around Yoongi’s wrist, and takes the glass from him with the other. In a graceful swill, he downs the last of Yoongi’s whiskey, not even wincing. Teasingly, he bends down to place the empty glass directly over Yoongi’s crotch, making him hiss.

Like he has all the time in the world, Jimin straightens up again and tugs the wrist in his grasp higher. Locking eyes, Jimin parts his lips and wraps them around the base of Yoongi’s thumb, sucking off the spilt liquor.

Yoongi groans lowly, cheeks stained red as his eyes flutter shut in a mix of pleasure and humiliation. As Jimin makes his way through all of Yoongi’s fingers, bobbing his head obscenely and swirling his tongue, you think you see the empty glass wobble on Yoongi’s lap, like his cock is twitching in his pants. Fuck. It’s not even you getting the full weight of Jimin’s attention and you already feel dizzy with need.

Once he’s done, Jimin lets go and Yoongi’s hand falls limply to his side. Satisfied, he moves to the center of the room again, hips fluid with the flow of the music.

A cursory glance around the room shows that you’re not the only one heavily affected. Beside you Namjoon is restless, shifting back and forth from spreading his legs to ease the pressure, and clenching them together to try and hide the bulge in his pants. Hoseok looks pale, eyes wide and locked onto Jimin’s ass as he walks away from their couch.

On the other side, Taehyung and Jin are significantly more shameless; Jin rests a hand on the back of Tae’s neck and tugs at the curls of hair there as the younger boy ruts against his thigh, curled into his side even as the two of them focus on the attraction in the centre of the room.

You can only imagine how fucked out you must look too, wriggling against the couch cushion seeking friction with your heart thudding in your chest. The effect is only heightened when Jimin locks his eyes to you and begins to dance.

One day, a few of you were gathered in this very lounge, having enough drinks to get a bit silly and uncoordinated. Jimin had told you all a little bit about his dancing career. From what he’d said, you formed this mental image of him in soft makeup and satin shoes, dainty but powerful in front of an adoring crowd. The way he spoke about music - too much of a heavyweight to be as incoherent as the rest of you - made it seem like it was his greatest love, a match made in heaven.

Though now pirouettes and grand jetés had been replaced by spread legs and lidded eyes, you could still see that passion he spoke of. It enchanted you like a snake charmer or a siren, and arousal entwines endlessly with awe in your stomach.

After what feels like the shortest eternity, the music of the first song fades out, and Jimin straightens up, exhaling a breath like he’s releasing its hold from his body to make room for the next.

The tune that fills the room next has a decently higher tempo than the first one, each beat punctuated by a clap, and he grins when he hears it, stalking forwards.

Between Jimin and the rest of you is a coffee table, and he makes his way around to Taehyung and Jin, eyes sparkling at how Taehyung straddles Jin’s thigh, blinking up at the dancer owlishly.

“Oh, baby,” Jimin coos, “enjoying the show?”

Taehyung nods, not shy but too wound up to speak.

At the lack of verbal response, Jimin grins, perching himself on Jin’s other thigh, making the eldest hiss. “Taehyungie,” Jimin calls in a sing-song voice, fingers winding into his hair, just above Jin’s, “you still haven’t paid me for my services, you know?”

“H-huh?” Poor Taehyung looks barely coherent, interrupted from his grind and staring weakly at Jimin’s glossy lips. You can’t imagine you’d be faring any better in his situation. “What- How do I pay you?”

Jimin faux pouts. “Normally I’m very expensive,” he admits lowly, but the room is silent apart from the music, and since it’s just playing from his phone, it doesn’t impede the rest of you listening in. “But I like you. I’ll take my payment tomorrow. You know what I mean, right?”

Taehyung nods dumbly, obediently, making the dancer grin wickedly.

Fixing his attention on Jin, Jimin trails his fingertips up his thigh and traces the outline of Jin’s cock in his makes, making him groan. “Take good care of my baby tonight, won’t you?”

Jin sucks in a shaky breath, eyes darting to Taehyung, but the curly-haired boy just whines and buries his face in the crook of Jin’s neck, a wordless display. “You got it, Min.”

From the other side of the room, a click of the tongue catches your attention. Hoseok is straight-faced, extricating himself from the corner of the couch to stand up and make his way out.

Jimin swiftly stands in front of him to impede his way. “Where are you going?”

Hoseok rolls his eyes with a shrug. “I came, I saw, I sated my curiosity. I’m not interested in waiting in line to be fondled, thank you very much.”

Jimin seems to have forgotten the music, eyes gleaming as he faces off the dom. “Poor baby too impatient to wait, hm? I’ll let you jump the queue,” he finishes in a husky voice, grinning.

Hoseok eyes the doorway behind Jimin, huffing impatiently. “Nice try. I’m not interested.”

Tipping his head to the side, Jimin’s brows lift in a mix of surprise and bemusement. “I’m inclined to disagree,” he says, taking a step closer so that only a sliver of air parts them. Hoseok stiffens, stubbornly avoiding looking at the dancer. “I’d venture a guess that you’re leaving so suddenly because you’re a little too interested.” Slow enough that Hoseok has plenty of time to refuse, Jimin runs his knuckles all the way down Hoseok’s front, brushing over his crotch. His grin widens, flashing white teeth. “Hmm.”

Hoseok scoffs and pulls himself away, neck and forehead slightly red. “Don’t get too cocky. It was from Taehyung, not from you, peaches.”

Even from the other side of the room, Jimin’s instinctual reaction is clear as day. His shoulders drop and his lips part, lashes fluttering before he can control the response.

If you didn’t miss it, Hoseok certainly didn’t either. He barks out a laugh, back in power again, and steps to Jimin’s side to pass him. “Knew it. Don’t miss me too much, then, peaches.”

Even as Jimin is shuddering at the petname again, Hoseok rears his hand back to smack Jimin’s ass with a sharp noise of impact, Jimin jumping forward with a startled squeak. “No touching!” the dancer hisses, one ass cheek already flooding with a sweet candy pink.

“Apologies,” Hoseok says with a teasing grin, already at the doorway, “I’ll see myself out.”

Jimin makes an indignant cry, but the older man is already bouncing up the stairs cheerfully. Determined to get the sexy atmosphere back, Jimin takes a deep breath and turns back to you all with a rueful smile, but it falters when the music fades out, the second song ending. “Ah,” he murmurs, “show’s over, kids.”

Namjoon, the only guy that hadn’t received any personal attention, sits up with a frown. “Wait, already?”

Jimin shrugs, smiling at him sweetly. “Sorry, Joon. Last song’s a private dance. Maybe another time.”

A private dance. Your breath quickens as Jimin turns off the next song that randomly came up on shuffle, collects his phone, and hitches his coat off the floor with the point of a stiletto, gathering it under his arm.

The others quietly start to stretch, sit up, Yoongi going to fill up his glass again. By the time Jimin makes his way to you, Jin has already lifted Tae up with a single arm under him, carrying the younger upstairs as Taehyung sucks shamelessly at his neck. Namjoon is slower to move, probably still a little worked up and edged from the show, but he joins Yoongi in the kitchen, leaving the two of you alone.

Once Jimin is directly in front of you, your breath stops. He’s gathered the lightest sheen of sweat from dancing, or perhaps that’s just the highlighter on his cheeks, and his eyes are hazed from the excitement of performing. He silently reaches a hand out to you with an enticing smirk.

You furrow your brow in confusion. “Not here?”

“I did say private. Unless you want me to fuck you where everyone can see?”

You gulp at the thinly veiled threat. “We can go.” You take his hand and let him lift you up with effortless strength, pausing when he looks at you expectantly. “Did I do something…?”

Jimin beams like you’re a cute but stupid pet. “I haven’t been here before, remember? Show me to your room, sweetness.”

“Oh!” You rush past him, hands catching to guide him out and upstairs. The thrill of excitement speeds your steps, and in no time at all he’s placing his coat and phone on your desk, guiding you to sit on the end of the bed.

The third song starts with the familiar smoothness of Beyonce’s voice, an older pop song that holds up still, and Jimin slips off the black straps of the bodice, another set directly below them. Arms tucking behind him, he begins to undo the clasps one by one.

“You were being very well behaved, you know, sitting there and waiting for your turn,” he muses, fiddling with the fabric behind him. “Now you get a reward.”

You don’t know what to say in response, just nodding wordlessly, but it seems he is content with that. After a moment, you notice the top half of the bodice pull away from his chest lightly, revealing not plain skin but more lace, matching the panties that struggle to cover his cock. He approaches you as he undoes the last few at the base, and slips smoothly between your legs, letting it fall to the side.

In front of you in all his glory, Jimin looks gorgeous, the inky swoops of his tattoo peeking out from under a sweet black lace bralette, the skinniest straps holding up the delicate cups. In the center is a tiny black satin bow, and you think you feel your heart give out a little at the sight of it.

Even in his pretty lingerie, he’s no less intimidating, and you shudder at the feeling of his eyes locked onto you, feeding on your reactions and pinning you to the bed.

“You like it?” the dancer asks, voice rough with arousal. You nod quickly, still too stunned for words. Jimin hums, winding a hand around the back of your neck. “Show me how much you like it.”

Before you can suck in a breath, his mouth descends on yours, and a shot of electricity runs through you as he spares no time for pecks and caresses. This kiss is nothing short of filthy, his tongue runs over your teeth, he bites your lips, he sucks on your tongue. You do your best to reciprocate enthusiastically, but there’s no question who’s in charge.

With how deep and primal it is, there’s no surprise when you feel your shared spit begin to collect in the corners of your lips and run down your chin. Jimin doesn’t stop, but lowers his mouth to lap it up, pushing it back in and continuing to fuck his tongue into your mouth.

You moan hopelessly into the kiss, hips rocking on the edge of the mattress fruitlessly and fingers holding on to his neck and shoulder for dear life. His teeth are sharp, nipping mercilessly at your bottom lip until your eyes sting, but it only serves to drive more need.

The music in the background livens up as it reaches the chorus, and suddenly the thought of the song finishing and him leaving you high and dry comes to mind. You tug yourself away from him, sucking the spit off your swollen lip. “Jimin,” you gasp out, “I want you.”

Jimin grins. Though his gloss is all but gone, the colour on his lips remains intact. “You aren’t gonna let me finish my dance, sweetness?”

“Wi-Will you still fuck me after the song ends?” you ask, feeling stupid for needing confirmation.

Jimin lets out a soft but condescending coo, hands squeezing your cheeks together so that your lips pout. “Poor baby just wants to get fucked, does she? Baby just wants a cock in her.”

Even as he mocks you, you can’t even defend yourself. “Please, Jiminie.”

He places a single light peck over your protruding and obscenely swollen lips. “Let’s make a deal; I’ll dance for the rest of the song, and if you can keep your hands to yourself, I’ll let you cum when I fuck you. Sound fair?”

At this point, you’d agree to anything, and both of you know it. “I can do it,” you insist even as your voice wobbles.

Instead of answering, Jimin begins to move, following the momentum of the music. Your hands lie at their sides, the duvet cool against your heated flesh.

He starts out easy, stepping back to give himself more space and slowly lowering into a crouch, the heels making his calves pop. Running his hands down his chest, fingers slipping under the lace, he sighs out like his own touch gives him unspeakable pleasure.

You grit your teeth. Watching him touch himself just makes you want to touch him more. He widens his legs, showing the place where the lacy band narrows down below his balls into a thin string. Whether it’s the angle or just the amount of moving he’s done, the tip of his cock has nestled up higher, poking out just to the side of his hip. Shamelessly, he runs a single fingertip over it, tapping so you can see the clear strands of precum that cling.

You let out an unsteady breath, relaxing slightly as the song begins to build to the final chorus. Not long.

Unfortunately for you, Jimin recognises the changing keys as well as you do, and he stands up smoothly, slinking towards you.

Instead of settling between your knees this time, he turns his back to you and bends down, folding himself in half to fully bare his ass. Hoseok’s handprint still pinkens the skin of one, and the sudden desire to reach out and see if it’s as warm to the touch as it looks overcomes you. You hiss and fist your hands in the fabric of the duvet cover, making Jimin stretch up with a laugh.

Merciless, Jimin widens his stance, choosing to sit on top of your lap, ass grinding on you. You can imagine this movement would be much more unbearable for a guy, but you still feel your resolve unravelling, taken by the fluidity of his hips, the lace accuentuating his slender waist, the pressure of his head as he tips it back onto your shoulder.

“This is so unfair,” you complain shakily, and are rewarded with the musical giggle Jimin lets out, bubbling from his arched throat right into your ear.

Luckily, the chorus ends, and the final notes settle down. Jimin’s hips still and he turns his head, lips just about brushing your cheek. “Good job, sweetness,” he praises warmly, “can I have another kiss?”

Your jaw jerks automatically before you catch yourself. Though it’s fading out, the song technically hasn’t ended yet. “Not yet.”

Shameless even as his ruse is exposed, Jimin just beams and twist around so that he’s straddling you face-on. He lowers his mouth to your collarbone, nibbling at the skin there as the beat fades and the overlaying instruments peter out. Though it must only be ten or fifteen seconds, it feels like forever as he rocks himself against you just like Taehyung had done to Jin - albeit less desperate and more strategic - and licks at the bite marks on your neck.

Finally, it goes silent, and you exhale deeply, hands automatically coming up to rest on his hips as he laughs lightly at your successful efforts. “I’m impressed,” he admits, “guess you get your reward after all, sweetness.”

So relieved that the heat between your legs will get some attention, you barely take notice of him standing up off you, at least not until he slips his cock fully out of the panties.

His cock, straining with being left unattended so long, is a far deeper pink than the mark on his ass, particularly around the head. He sucks in a breath through his nose as he strokes himself, before blinking down at you.

“Clothes off if you want me, sweetness.”

You could guarantee you’ve never undressed so quickly before, frantically enough that your hips are hot from the friction of tugging down your pants. You take no note, however, just spreading your legs wantonly as you eye up his cock.

“Fuck, look at you,” Jimin curses, bracing a hand on your hip as he lines himself up. “Don’t even need stretching, do you? Looks like Joonie opened you up for me already.”

Your cheeks burn, but there’s not enough time to dwell on the embarrassment, as Jimin holds you down with his grasp on your hip and bottoms out in a single thrust.

Even though he’s right, the sudden fullness has you gasping a moan, almost falling onto your back. You prop yourself up and widen your legs further, eyes locked on the sight of his cock, nestled underneath by the lushest black lace, buried deep inside you. “Fuck, please move.”

“My pleasure,” he coos with a sweet smile, before the smile drops to a slack pout of lust, snapping his hips with a deftness that you now know is due to his background as a dancer.

You fight to keep yourself sitting up, one hand around the back of his neck as he fills you with every stroke, but the angle isn’t quite right, and you find your pelvis shifting to find it.

Jimin notices your frustration, and wordlessly pauses, grips your thighs and tugs you forward so that you’re flat on your back, ass over the edge and held up by his upper body strength. Without you even processing the change, he’s returning to his ruthless place, and you sob from relief at the way your insides come alive with pleasure, so much stronger than before.

“Fuck, right there! Right- ungh, yes, Ji-Jimin,” you pant out, feeling unbearably hot all at once with the intensity of it.

Though part of you is still sore from the scene you had with Namjoon earlier, your swollen walls only increase the drag of him against your sensitive tissue, and you quickly turn incoherent, tongue so thick in your mouth that you open it, panting as your fingers clutch the duvet to anchor you.

“That good, huh?” Jimin notes with a laugh stuttered by grunts of exertion. Normally, you’d protest or retort, but with your ankles wrapped around him and back arching off the bed, there’s nothing on your mind but the enveloping urge to cum.

Rather than reply, you just let yourself drown in the sensations, vision going black as your eyes roll into the back of your head.

Your orgasm comes so fast that you don’t even notice it approaching, can’t even warn him. It’s like a clap of thunder, making you go stiff with a scream before turning completely boneless, legs slipping down off him weakly.

Jimin curses as you squeeze around him, but fucks you through it thoroughly, only slowing down once you begin to fuss, shivering and wriggling away.

Dazed from the sudden onslaught of pleasure, it takes you a few moments for the fog in your brain to clear. Once you do, you glance down and realise Jimin is still achingly hard, dripping with your slick and the remnants of Namjoon’s cum, but none of his own. He strokes it lazily, gaze searching your face.

So exhausted from two intense scenes in one day, you don’t think you could manage to jerk him off or give him a decent blowjob, but to leave him hanging would be cruel. Instead, you fumble to slide yourself off the bed, landing a little too hard on your knees.

“What are you- oh, Y/n, fuck,” Jimin exclaims lowly as you blink up at him and open your mouth, sticking your tongue out. He gets the message easily, speeding up his strokes as his tip bounces on your tongue, brief sparks of the salty tang of your shared arousal.

He must have been close before, because it doesn’t take him more than a minute to fall over the edge, cumming into your mouth with thick spurts. A shame it couldn’t have been inside you a different way, but you nonetheless chase his cock, blade of your tongue dipping into his slit to make sure you’d gotten every last drop.

Jimin swears lowly, stroking your hair back fondly as you swallow, and helps you stand up on wobbly legs.

Leading you to the bathroom, Jimin sits you on the closed toilet seat as he runs a bath. Having slipped off his heels somewhere back in the room, he unhooks his garters as he waits for the tub to fill. With one leg resting on the high edge of the tub, rolling down the fishnets one at a time, you once again are silenced in awe of his beauty.

It feels unspeakably intimate to watch him unclasp the bralette, slip off the panties, and slowly take his makeup off, easily locating the makeup remover he’d borrowed from you that very first night.

Your eyes sting a little as you’re reminded of that time. It feels like an eternity ago, even though it’s just under a fortnight. You’d thought he was so intimidating back then. Though he still had the power to command attention, you’d seen enough of the kindhearted, thoughtful and sensitive man beneath that the Jimin two weeks ago felt like a very different man.

“Water’s ready.”

You blink yourself out of that train of thought, letting Jimin help you carefully into the tub, joining you on the other side, legs tangled. “Thank you,” you manage to say, still feeling a little out of it after a tiring day and a good orgasm.

Jimin beams, glancing away to obscure some of his face. It’s clear to you that the lack of makeup has him feeling a bit vulnerable. His skin is flushed red - either naturally or from exertion you couldn’t tell - and his brows were softer, eyes looking smaller without the shadow that emphasised them. He wasn’t any less beautiful like this, just more human. Comforting, in a way, as he passes you a washcloth and begins to lather himself up in strawberry-scented bodywash.

“Hey, Y/n,” Jimin starts, but his voice sounds weirdly stilted and unlike him.

“Mm?”

“My, um, my…” He lets out a light cough, avoiding your gaze with an air of forced aloofness. “Granny keeps asking about you. She’s convinced we’re dating, but that’s, uh, I’ve assured her we aren’t. She really liked you, and whenever we chat she asks to speak to you, and, um…”

You feel more coherent than you have in a good couple hours, sitting upright. “She does?”

Jimin laughs ruefully. “I never really knew how to ask you if you wanted to speak to her, or if I should even ask you at all-”

“So you thought now, while we’re both naked in a tub after you fucking my brains out is the right time?”

Jimin’s cheeks colour more as he splutters. “You can say no, I just didn’t want you to… I don’t know. You can say no.”

You beam at him. “I have one rule.”

“What?”

“I’ll hang out with Mrs. Park on one condition.”

The blue-haired boy stares at you warily. “Which is?”

You lean forward with a deadpan expression on your face, making him grimace in worry. “You let me sleep in your bed tonight,” you explain gravely, “I’m running out of options for this Bangasm Bomb thingy, and it’s only fair after you just took me out of commission like that.”

Jimin laughs in relief, throwing his head back with a joyous grin. “Deal! Don’t scare me like that.”

You return his smile, heart swelling from the fondness you hold for him. “Of course I’ll chat with your grandma, Jimin. I love her. She reminds me of you a lot.”

You may have said too much, but Jimin goes lax against the opposite end of the tub, smile never leaving his lips, and you don’t regret it for a second.

#bts x reader #bts smut #jimin smut #namjoon smut #namjoon x reader #jimin x reader #ficswithluv #networkbangtan #magicshopnet #bangtanarmynet #bangtanhq #bangtanidx #btswriterscollective #btswritingcafe #btswritersnet #ksmutclub #thekimlinenet #taejin #taehyung x reader #ot7 x reader #jungkook x reader #ot7 smut #hoseok x reader #jihope #jin x reader #yoongi x reader #yoonmin #vmin

[remuswriting]

secret relationship; h. shouyou

Summary: Hinata and male reader boyfriend keep their relationship a secret.

Love Interest: Hinata

Format: Headcanons

Notes: This is my first time writing headcanons, so they’re probably not the best. I hope they’re okay!

****

When Yachi is asked to be manager-in-training, she asks you to go with her because she was scared about everything.

You go meet the team with her and have to calm her down from seeing all of the ‘scary tall’ guys.

She once told you that you weren’t scary because you weren’t tall like all of those people (5’5) and you were too pretty to be scary.

Anyways, you were best friends with Yachi through your mothers knowing each other.

She knew you were gay and had frequent fleeting crushes (basically you’d say you were in love one day and have no interest the next).

Well Hinata became one of them. (Or so you thought)

It started because she had asked you to help her tutor Kageyama and Hinata, and you couldn’t say no to her, especially when it was scheduled during the time you two typically studied.

Hinata made you feel excited and alive.  He was so lively and intriguing that you just couldn’t help forming a crush on him.

You believed it was a fleeting crush until you found out he helped Yachi with her self-confidence, and you were a goner for him.

“Yachi, I have a problem.  It’s really bad,” you said in the middle of studying.

“What happened, Y/N?  Do we need to call the police?”

Yachi is full on the verge of freaking out, looking for her phone.

“Yeah, you may kill me.”

She stops and stares at you as if she may be able to read you somehow.

“What?”

“I may think Hinata is really pretty,” you say very quietly because you know you’re going to be killed.

Pillows are thrown at you.

“You’re not supposed to get a crush on one of the boys!”

Defensive mode happens because who said you had a crush on anyone? It was obvious though because you called every guy you’ve ever liked pretty.

“Okay, as long as it’s one of your usual crushes, Y/N.”

Sadly, it’s a real crush for once.

You’re pissed at how much you like Hinata, and it’s worse because he always compliments you for some reason.

“Y/N, you have pretty eyes!” He exclaims when he sees you during lunch.

“Y/N, your hair looks so nice today!” He exclaims at morning practice.

“Y/N, you’re getting better at understanding volleyball! It’s so cool!” He exclaims when he sees your journal of volleyball stuff.

It’s a new compliment every day and you can’t stop swooning, but you can’t hate him for it.

He’s just trying to be your friend, but of course your brain just has a thing for niceness.

Suddenly you’re confessing right before practice, you have him cornered in the club room.

You would’ve preferred it to be slightly more thought out, but you get what you get.

“I really like you, Hinata.  I understand if you don’t like me the same, sorry to bother you.”

You’re about to leave when he grabs you by the arm and looks you in the eye.

“Why wouldn’t I like you?  You’re so cool and pretty and funny and smart!”

Definitely not what you were expecting, but you’re not mad at all.

He tells you he wants to date in secret.

Goes into a ramble how he isn’t ashamed of you, but he just wants everyone to be safe because gay relationships aren’t really accepted where you live. He also doesn’t want to distract the team because they’d make a huge deal out of it.

You have to reassure him that you’re not mad at him because it’s a safety thing and he wants what’s best for the team.

You’re also used to not acting on physical things like kissing or hand holding with other people.  You’ve never really been in a relationship before though.

Neither of you act different and you realize that he has always been extremely touchy with you.

You really don’t know how you could’ve missed it.

There’s either an arm around your shoulder, him jumping to be on your back, arms brushing as you walk next to each other, etc.

You can only guess you missed these things because your feelings weren’t as strong when it was just a crush (you also weren’t AS close before)

You’re jittery when it happens now though, but you can’t do anything publicly about it.

Yachi figures it out before you can say anything

“Y/N, what do you think you’re doing!” She screams at you when you enter her home.

“Being in a gay relationship.” You deadpan.

Definitely got hit by a pillow for that one.

Hinata walks you home every night and it’s somehow actually on his way.

He takes you on dates on the weekends when you two are free.

You go to the park, lunch, museum, just anywhere to spend time together.

One day you study at your house and he rants to you about the stress he’s been facing because of Spring Interhigh Tournament because he wants to beat Oikawa and Ushijima so badly.

You comfort him with taking breaks to go outside and try to help him practice, and it does help him calm down.

He really likes you and you make him so happy

Hinata explains that he wants to be in a public relationship, but he’s still scared of how others will treat you.  He also still worries about the team

It takes you by surprise that he’s only worried about you because he says he just doesn’t care what others will think or do to him.

You’re fine with things being private for now until suddenly all you want to do is kiss him.

There hasn’t even been a first kiss, but it’s all you can think about.

Eventually, you just kiss him mid-sentence one night on the way home after making sure no one was there.

It wasn’t perfect, but he had no experience and you had ‘experience’ (kissed two girls during spin the bottle isn’t experience, but you’ll say it is)

You guys start having more affectionate when walking home, which helps the urge to just want to kiss him constantly die down a little bit

Tokyo training camp rolls around

It comes to find out that Hinata told Kenma about you two dating, which Yachi knew so it was fair for one of Hinata’s friends to know.

It would’ve been nice if you had been told Kenma knew though.

Kenma is a guy you’d definitely have a fleeting crush on if you didn’t have such a liking for Hinata, but you don’t say anything (Yachi later points it out though).

Kenma gives you looks when you’re too close to Hinata, as if you were being too obvious about dating.

If anyone was being obvious, it was Hinata with his tucking loose hairs behind your ears as he smiled at you.

Your heart was so full because of him.

Suga notices Kenma’s looks at the two of you and Hinata’s looks of admiration before anyone else does.

You’re not even sure how no one hadn’t noticed Hinata’s behavior around you, it really amazed you.

Suga pulls you aside and asks if you’re dating Hinata.

You think it’s a really stupid question and you know Suga isn’t going to discriminate against you, because he doesn’t seem the type.

“What do you think?”

Suddenly you’re having to explain everything to him and how you’ve been with Hinata for a while now (you think, you don’t actually remember the date you guys got together).

“Okay, just tell him to tone it down a bit, okay?  He’s being extremely obvious.”

“I’ll try, Suga-senpai.”

When you tell Hinata what happened, he gets extremely flustered.

“I’m sorry! Gaah, I thought I was being secretive.”

All you can do is kiss his temple because there’s not much to say.  You really don’t want to explain how obvious he is

He does back off, and maybe too much

Not too much for you, because you know if you ask for affection, he will give you some

The team notices how he isn’t as close to you anymore and Tanaka is demanding for you two to stop fighting

(You never realized the team paid that much attention)

You come up with a lie that you don’t want some sweaty guy rubbing up all over you.

Your worst lie yet

Everyone except for Suga (and maybe Daichi) believe it and you literally have no idea how

Kenma asks how you managed to get Hinata to stop being as affectionate, and you just say that one of the other teammates found out and that’s enough motivation you guess

Hinata gets back in being touchy with you after the training camp is over

He may be slightly even more touchy as if he has to make up for time he lost.

The tournament in November is exciting for both you and Yachi, but mainly nerve-wracking for Yachi.

You end up being the one who has to calm everyone down from their freak out, even if it’s not the best.

“This is a new tournament everyone.  You guys have improved, so just fix the mistakes you made last time.” You say as everyone is freaking out during warm-ups.

“What if I can’t?!” Yamaguchi asks and you wonder if he’s about to cry but go for the aggressive route either way.

“Well, you’re going to.  Get your shit together.”

You’re cheering for Hinata from where you’re seated with Yachi.  You’re probably cheering the loudest.

Yachi is trying to get you to stop screaming as much and being aggressive towards the other team.  It’s apparently not acceptable to say they suck extremely loud.

You’re with Kiyoko when Terushima is harassing her for her number, and you’re trying to get him to leave her alone.

“She obviously doesn’t want to talk to you, asshole.”

“This doesn’t involve you, brat.”

You are about to fight him when Hinata comes to save the day with his outrageously high jump.  Kiyoko also pulls you away from the captain, worried you’re going to start a fight when he walks by.

You’re the first one to tease him on his lunch cloth and Kiyoko teases him in front of the team.

They beat Aobajohsai and you have never been this happy in your entire life. Your team did that!! Your boyfriend scored the winning point!!  Yachi is trying to get you to calm down because you’re vibrating.

“Come on, Y/N, you need to calm down.  You’re going to do something stupid.”

She’s right, you’re going to do something stupid.

You see the team and immediately start running (Yachi is screaming for you to calm down)

“Y/N!” Hinata exclaims and he’s about to go on when you tackle him before kissing him.

You realize what you’ve done when everyone is silent and just whisper “Oh shit, sorry.”

Most of the team is actually surprised?? You’re not sure as to how because Hinata could barely keep it a secret.

Tanaka and Noya are upset that two of their kouhai are in relationships when they’re not.

“How dare you get a boyfriend before us!” Tanaka yells and Noya is nodding.

“We only both have boyfriends because we are each dating each other,” you say slowly, because you’re not sure they understand any of this.

Daichi and Suga tell everyone to talk about it when they get back to the school because everyone is tired.

Hinata and you finally get to sit next to each other on the bus without it seeming weird when he passes out on your shoulder early into the drive back.

Next day, you are probably the loudest person cheering in the entire gymnasium (besides Suga when he screams at the team) as you scream how that’s your boyfriend

“Number 10 is my boyfriend and he’s crazy!  Did you see that spike!”

Yachi is trying to get you to quiet down, but Hinata keeps smiling at you and Saeko is encouraging you being loud

Everyone at Karasuno knows you two are dating at this point (hard for them not to) and you’re bragging about Hinata now because you finally can

No one was ready but at least you and Hinata are happy though.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu fic #hinata shoyo #hinata shouyou #hinata shoyo x reader #hinata shoyo x male reader #hinata shouyou x reader #hinata shouyou x male reader #haikyuu #male reader #male reader insert #haikyuu headcanons

[nightswithkookmin]

JIKOOK: ARE CONGRATULATIONS IN ORDER?

Disclaimer:

Everything expressed in here is my opinion. It is not intended to be malicious or disrespectful to any of the parties mentioned in here. Please do not hate on or send hate anyone mentioned in her expressly or by inference.

In my previous posts, I pointed out how this past year, from August 2019 to June 2020 has been a rollercoaster ride for Jikook. Their relationship has been all over the place with some even concluding they have broken up for good- you wish!

My inbox has been flooded with questions such as: Are they still broken up, are they good, are they married...

Y'all think I'd be here blogging at 1 AM for Tumblr if Jikook were married married?- Ok, I would. Lol

But No, Sis. Jikook aren't married. Not that I know of. But don't be sad though because THEY ARE BACK! Fully back to function. By that I mean Jimin mostly. Jk never left. Lol- I'll explain in a bit. But yes, I'm happy to report that they are Jikooking again!

I refrained from posting about their new moments especially this July moments because even though they've been back together after a long period of on and off again relationship during ON comeback through to festa season, and then May when JM finally asked for space in their relationship(see previous posts for details)

I've being unsure about Jimin. I've been anxious to know what the outcome of his asking for space to think things through would be.

Jikook have a push and pull relationship dynamic. We been known. Mostly when one steps back from their relationship for whatever reason, the other leans in to pull them back in.

Same thing has been happening from January where Jimin would be pulling one minute, the next he would be like meh and JK would be push to pull him back in.

That was the case in this (June-July) Japan comeback interviews. Jk was front center with expressing interest in JM pulling him whereas JM was like meh, I'm down for this baby but let's keep it professional for the group's sakes.

Just look at them here... (Photo of them at 2020 Japan interview where Jk said he was looking at JM)

See what I mean? Now you may not notice at first but look at JM's demeanor and compare it to moments in past interviews whenever JK is talking about him or their relationship.

Jk was on his flirting game which he usually is when he wants to break the ice with Jimin if there's been tension between them or when someone around is making a pass at JM and he wants them to know what's up- he ain't slick. Lol

At times too he takes the initiative to flirt when he is feeling super confident and cocky and hella bold and just wants to. Trust me, when he flirts with Jimin, IT IS NOT FOR FANSERVICE. He means that shit.

Now compare JM's body language in that Japan interview moment this one right here: (photo of JM and Jk at the interview where JK said from now on together)

Jimin usually acts very coy, giddy and whipped even around JK when JK flirts with him but most importantly he seems to egg JK on in such moments. He enjoys being claimed openly by JK just as much as JK loves being claimed by JM publicly- which is why as nervous as that makes him he keeps going back for more.

Now this is gonna sound controversial but I have seen JM tell Suga off at times when Suga has tried to initiate skinship with him. I won't show you the picture but you can watch it for yourself during the On Come back where they wore Purple and black. It happened right at the moment Suga touched JMs back. JM mouthed 'Hajima' to Suga to stop touching him. That's all I'm gonna say y'all. Lmho. Don't want trouble.

My point is, these boys have a filter. If they don't want something done to them they won't hesitate to say it or show it. Much like when JK pushed Tae's hand away during a VLive- and he's pushed JM off sometimes too. He is assertive more so than all the members. If he doesn't want something he won't do it or allowed it.

Suga asked him not to get the tattoos when he first expressed interest in them way back in American Hustle life. But he told them if army loves him they would love everything he does and not try to limit him. Jk does as JK pleases.

So yea, if JK didn't like what Jimin has been doing with him he wouldn't be around him much less reciprocate those feelings and actions and initiating them on his own at times. Their interactions are MUTUAL.

And yes, that was shade.

Jimin understands the guts it takes JK to take such initiatives with him and so he kinds of encourages Jk to go on with it or acts in a way that boosts JK's ego. Like when JK shouted 'arrest me' in the middle of an interview. Jk... SMH.

So it was a bit unsettling to watch JM not even try to flirt back with JK in moments like this like he usually would. Dude wasn't even initiating their shtick during this period first of all nor was he responding to them in a way he usually would.

Not sure the aesthetics he was going for here but it screamed let's keep this professional on camera and get naughty when we get home. Or much like, dude I asked for space and I'm realizing I like you just as much but stop coming on too strong.

Which frankly, is what the members have been asking them to do since October last year when the hashtag to cancel Jikook in S.K trended. So JM wouldn't be wrong to take such a stand....

Given that the crux of their issue has been that Jikook is developing into a brand almost independent of BTS' brand and this in a way is affecting the dynamics of the group, a little discretion wouldn't hurt.

The cheers for Jikook moments are getting louder and louder each year even at events such as awards and not just on stage. Jikook is taking a lifeform of it's own. Its becoming a brand almost as powerful as BTS' brand. They are a power couple or becoming one. Like or not. Their fans are becoming loud and large too. So often, lately, it seems they tend to steal the show and direct attention away from the band. It's crazy.

Tae literally had the floor, delivering his speech at the MMA 2019 but people weren't even paying attention to that at all. They were more interested in Jikook and whatever they were doing and they went nuts the moment JK held Jimin and even wilder when he placed his head on Jimin which is what lead to infamous standoff with RM.

JM had literally bumped his butt against Hobi's crotch region moments before the Jikook moment but the crowd didn't lose it as much. Please go back and listen to the deafening sounds of the crowd for yourself.

As much as we love Jikook, there are some that don't and they can be very loud. I'll leave it there. Please support Jikook. Thank you.

BTS had a whole concert end of October 2019 and the hashtag that trended was 'cancel Jikook.' That took away from the hardwork of the band and reduced it to a few seconds of two boys fanboying over eachother. That's.... sigh.

When you see it this way, the RM separating them at Jingle bell red carpet, on stage or even BigHit trying to regulate their Vlives make sense.

Moving on. So yea I wasn't sure about JM all this past few months especially as I believe he had asked for space in their relationship. You might not think much of it but given as JM had said in the past how if he had a lover he would want to be with them all the time and Jikook do spend a lot of time around each other but suddenly hear them talk about spending time apart and enjoying it and what not....

But I think I can stop worrying now because HE IS BACK! There is a new Jimin in town and he is taking names! Good for him!

And I don't mean his new hairdo this August. I mean the new attitude. This attitude:

In this interview he says he would take JK to an island which smart decision. I would take JK too cos dude can do anything, cant he?! Bless him.

But thats beside the point. What I think is happening here is, Jimin finally took a stand. He made up his mind and he is not getting pushed around anymore. Because this Jimin hasn't showed up in a while now. Now he seems quite defiant most times if you've been paying attention to him, so rebellious, so sure of himself. Good for him. Spending time to himself has done him some good. It's given him room to reflect and sort out his priorities.

He loves his work, his band and he loves JK and it's hard when all of those start rubbing against eachother. But Fuck professionalism. He is in love with JK and that is professionalism too. Add loving JK till the end of time to his profession bishes!! :p

Sorry. I got carried away.

But seriously, he seems like his old self but it's also a new self because he hasn't been that self for a hot minute. This is JK's sweat tastes like holy water Jimin. This is I promised Jk I will go to the moon with him Jimin, this is I wanna go on a trip alone with JK Jimin- but badder. If you are a hardcore JM stand like I am you'd understand what I'm talking about.

HE IS BACK BABY! Our daddy is back!

The point of this post is to say, I believe JM finally figured out what he wants. So now hopefully the up and down should die down because quite frankly it's hard to keep up with those two I swear! We need a smooth sail Jikook. Make it happen!

I love it. I love where this is going and I can't wait to see more of their interactions so cheers to Jikookers and congratulations to Jimin for putting his shit together. We wanted rain. We about to be hit with a tsunami of Jikook moments.

Stay blessed. Stay beautiful. Jikook forever.

Signed,

Goldy

#jikooktheories #kookmintheories #jikook analysis #kookmin analysis #bts jungkook #jikook fights #kookmin #jikook #bts jimin #jikook scenarios #jikook is not fanservice #its about to rain Jikook #jikook fluff #jiminshiii #bts angst #jungkook angst #jikook social media au #Jikook pride #gay pride #pride icons #pride #nightswithkookmin

[jiminieloved]

Lol, welp, since your submission page does say you’re accepting people venting their opinion about something, and other anons you’re getting today have made this topical, I’m going to submit a bit of a frustrated opinion piece to you here- though I totally understand if you don’t want to post it if you think others might take it the wrong way and feel like it’s inciting drama or something. 

So bit of a hot take here, but I hold the opinion that Jikookers who insist that the post SY Final emails from TKers/hetshippers about stopping Jikook’s ‘gay performances’ worked, and that Jikook has ‘barely breathed’ and stopped interacting in public since then specifically because Big Hit won’t ‘let’ them because of those complaints, because they’re now trying to suppress their relationship and please Taekookers, are almost as frustrating as the crowd that starts weeping about how Jikook broke up every single time we go a week without a new moment at this point- it’s just two different forms of baseless hysteria grounded in insecurity. There’s a reason TKers have been widely mocked for coming up with conspiracy theories about how BH has turned TK into a tragic, forbidden love that is forced to stay apart, and I just hate seeing so many of us turn around and do the exact same thing the second we miss the boys for a minute. Now, allow to me explain WHY I think this idea is so silly, if I may

I guarantee that Big Hit gets complaints and demands about EVERYTHING related to the boys, that’s just the nature of overseeing literally the biggest band in the world- and yet people truly believe that of all the things they hear about, they caved to the emailed demands of what was most likely not even actually a full 100 people among BTS’s 1mil+ person fan base? You’re giving what was most likely a double digit amount of TKers (whenever anyone tries to bust out a tweet of people complaining about all the Jikook interactions that night that has triple digit likes, as if that’s proof that hundreds upon HUNDREDS of people were emailing Big Hit, I have to roll my eyes; one, a lot of that those likes probably come from people who have multiple accounts, and two, there’s way less energy involved with hitting like on a tweet than composing and sending an email-I would bet you anything that the vast majority of people who did the former never actually followed through with the latter. Not to mention that even if it actually had been a few hundred, which it almost definitely wasn’t, that’s STILL a completely insignificant portion of BTS’s fanbase) entirely too much credit if you think BH started suddenly declaring how and when JM and JK are allowed to interact just because of them; frankly, BH likely gets WAY more nutso emails from people about dumb things like wanting Tae publicly flogged for vaping or wanting JK kicked out of the group for having tattoos than they ever have about shipping matters- I’d be shocked if this particular issue was even a blip on the radar, or ever went beyond the administrative assistant in charge of sorting through fan emails laughing to themself as they deleted the nonsense.

But hey, let’s say the emails DID make it to the higher-ups at Big Hit and they WERE aware of them- thinking they started keeping Jikook apart because of them requires assuming BH places more weight into a few pressed emails than they do the entire sold out stadium being filled with the sound of hysterical, supportive, happy screaming every time Jikook were acting boo’d up that night, and, uh… WHY would you assume that, lol? Even IF BigHit is hypersensitive to how Army responds to specific ships, which I honestly doubt, I promise you any company would care more about the real-time reaction of a 60000 person true random sampling of the band’s fan base than a comparatively TINY amount of emails or tweets that, for all they know, are just being spammed by the same five people with an agenda across different accounts, and that real-time reaction to Jikook from 60000 random fans was extremely positive. Not to mention how Jikook is more popular than Taekook with both K-Army and J-Army, and it’s only I-Army that Taekook has the edge with; why does anyone think Big Hit cares more about a shipping subset of their third biggest market than a shipping subset of their first two biggest markets, if they’re going to care about shipping at all?

Then there’s the issue where I also think it’s kind of insulting to Jimin and Jungkook to suggest they would have even stood for being forcibly distanced to please some pissy Taekook fans, TBH. I’m not saying they get to live their lives as openly as they want 100% of the time, obviously as Idols there are things they make big concessions about, but Jungkook is a man who has been acknowledging since 2014 that a lot of their fans would be very upset with him if he ever got a tattoo, and who then still proceeded to get 20+ of them because that’s what HE wanted, Jimin is a man who saw fans complaining his shirt was too revealing and he should stop wearing it and proceeded to wear that shirt as often as possible throughout the next few weeks to make a point- you think they’d put up a fight like that for tattoos and clothes, but not for the person that we as Jikookers are assuming is their beloved partner? That’s not even getting into Jungkook being so vocal and so brave with gestures like GCF Tokyo and Rose Bowl; I would bet you anything that same man would not sit there quietly and nod along if an executive tried to order him to stop being seen with Jimin and start playing up his friendship with Taehyung for the camera more often, all just so they could please some obnoxious American teenagers. 

And finally, and what might be the biggest point to me- the ‘Jikook has been dead since then!’ and ‘Something is clearly off between them since then!’ narratives are SO exaggerated by Jikookers anyway, ones who have lost all perspective about how they haven’t been in public much since November, and they both barely use social media anymore, so ALL content from them drops off dramatically when there’s no tour, no promotions, and no appearances happening. Shippers keep complaining that we’ve had barely any new content in 2020, it’s all been stuff that was filmed in 2019 and just released now, waaah, and I’m just like ‘…uh, yeah, and that’s the case for literally every ship involving Jimin or Jungkook, because the three weeks of album promotion we got are basically all either of them have been seen for this year.’ If they were both constantly around and acting affectionate with other members while visibly icing only each other out, then maybe I could get the conspiracy theories, but I genuinely can’t recall any significant interactions either of them have had with other members outside of the clearly planned and scheduled V-Lives- not that this means the interactions in said V-lives weren’t genuine and cute, for the record! But it’s not like Jungkook was just hanging out at Tae’s apartment and they spontaneously decided to go live- Big Hit clearly had these particular lives mapped out and they’ve essentially been part of the boys’ current work schedule. They’ve both made themselves scarce, period, you can’t get ‘fed’ by people who just straight up aren’t making public appearances or using their social media accounts- and when we HAVE seen them, like in the last two OT7 lives, they’ve very much seemed like their normal selves and have been right by each other’s side, per usual. Also, when you look back on years in your mind as a compilation of significant moments, it makes you forget that even in 2018 and 2019, it wasn’t uncommon to go weeks or months between content; your brain just selectively filters out the time in-between that you spent waiting to remember only the good stuff we got those years, and it makes it feel like it was a constant flood of moments happening all at once; you remember ALL of 2018 and 2019 as their respective best dozen moments, forgetting that there was plenty of time in between even then, and that Jikookers frequently threw embarrassing fits about how they had clearly broken up any time their ‘feeding schedule’ was off for a few weeks even then.

And I mean, the face smushing pictures that have already become a Jikook fandom all time favorite moment were post SYF, the chest groping performance of Home was post SYF, them lovingly smiling while singing The Earth Traveler directly to each other and the behind the scenes clip of them looking just as smitten during the recording was post SYF, the extremely flirty and domestic New Year’s VLive that had Jikook fandom dying was post SYF, the video of them flirting about how long they’ve been a unit was post SYF (not to mention how Big Hit deciding to give them a photobook subunit in the first place, or deciding to include that flirty footage in the album release event stream, were both choices made post SYF), the big Jikook feast that was Winter Package was post SYF (and again, BH didn’t HAVE to include all that Jikook footage, and they DEFINITELY didn’t have to write the very shippy captions that one had- they chose to), Jimin holding Jungkook’s arm in the airport was post SYF, them holding hands while walking off stage at the Japan muster was post SYF, Jungkook calling Jimin cute and sexy during the album release and all of their flirting across the table and hugging and touchiness that same night was post SYF, the V-Live where Jimin was being very affectionate with Jungkook and there was that adorable minute long sequence where you could tell how badly they were fighting the instinct to hold hands was post SYF, Jungkook publicly and proudly losing his mind over Jimin the Black Swan reaction video was post SYF, them choosing to let us see them happily riding home together was post SYF, Jungkook stopping dead in his tracks and abandoning the routine to just lovingly stare at Jimin for two minutes straight during Carpool Karaoke was post SYF, the cuddling and spooning during recent Run BTS episodes was filmed prior to then, but BH’s decision to include the footage and post the photo was post SYF, same with all the season’s greeting Jikook footage, same with BH deciding to make the 5th Muster DVD an all out Jikook holy grail, same with BH having the Speak Yourself Japan behind-the-scenes footage be more Jikook than anything else. If that’s Jikook after supposedly being ordered to stay away from each other or to at least ‘tone down the gay’, and if Big Hit’s idea of pulling back on Jikook means still having the behind the scenes footage on the next 4 paid content DVD releases be LOADED with Jikook and basically revolve around their interactions, then call me crazy, but I think things are gonna be okay

#submission #yesssssssss #pls get notes this is everythibng i've ever wanted to say in one post #thank u #jikook #jikook discourse

[babysprouseisart]

Honestly more things are pointing to a permanent separation for SH. No indications of any reconciliation sadly. And it makes it even harder without the confirmation. I guess when they start to get papped with their new SOs will be the day that it is confirmed they are done. And I hope it is soon. This push and pull with them is exhausting

Good day, anon, and welcome to hell. Screams for help will not save you, alas, because when it comes to a topic in which I am 99, 9% sure, I have no equals. I'm sorry you probably got the wrong address, but it's too late. I am merciless and bloodthirsty with anyone who tries to contradict my faith, tries to correct my point of view and convince me of their own, although I did not give it a reason. Because it's my fucking blog where I for x-billionth time has already expressed my exact points and agreed with some people which think and proved the exact opposite to all that you are saying. So be prepared to be slowly but surely tortured by my long ass post.

 So, let's start with what I said about my blog: only good vibes here. I am not interested/concerned about other opposite/negative feedings. I just don't want to make a big deal about it. Here, in my blog, we support Lili Pauline Reinhart and Cole Mitchell Sprouse in any case as couple as well as individuals.

 This means that under no circumstances do we talk about them, their relationships, their projects, their family, or their decisions in a negative way. Yes, we may disagree with something they do, where they do it, and how they do it (what they post, what they like/don't like, write or repost, who they meet, with whom they decide to be, live and communicate with, what they archive/unarchive, and so on), but we do not have the right to judge them or decide how to act. We also can't control it and it's none of our business.

 I repent if I once made the appearance of a person condemning one of them or their family for their actions and possible causes of the separation, it was only my objective external disagreement, points and thoughts aloud, nothing more rude, involved and inappropriate. And I think with many of my words said earlier (or the words of those I follow and reblog their posts) about the behavior of family/friends of Lili, Cole, and so on, people with brains and common sense could agree. Remember this, or write it on your forehead, so that the next time you write to me, you will see these words.

 Moving on, taking into account all of the above, I would like to tell you that it probably won't be enough for one blog to explain to you point by point all my beliefs and points of view on this subject, to prove to you that every fucking word you say is illogical shit and the most real nonsense. It feels like you're an alien who fell from another planet and decided to crawl into our hole with your impressions of a newborn baby who doesn't understand much about the world and its creators. Although in this case, I'm more of the opinion that you are a little asshole, in which the vein of hatred is boiling and you like to come to this and some other blogs to tell us your agenda although we have no idea where you have such rash thoughts, perhaps you have an extra chromosome? Dude, treat your paranoia.

 Further, given that I don't have much time and desire to describe all my points of view point by point, which, unlike your random set of words, really makes sense for hundreds or even thousands of people who have the gray matter to be able to think, I will attach my long - standing post, indicating all the facts at that time proving the opposite to yours. Although, I will try to supplement everything else as much as I can.

 While, we all ( I hope) already realized and accepted that for many reasons, during this quarantine, Lili and Cole had some problems, were distant and ended up apart for a certain period of time, immediately after the end point of the explosion and informing us of all these public actions on social media (I hope you understand), then after a few weeks, they were already confidently moving towards resolution and recovery and that's why:

https://babysprousehart.tumblr.com/post/618026656780648448/hello-i-hope-this-doesnt-come-off-negatively

This was written long before, but still has many valid points and I just want to widen some of them.

Take a sit and follow me word by word.

I shall start my addition of evidence, based on all the guesses and great opinions of others, as well as hints from the Lili and Cole themselves. I would like to start with a significant event and the day when Lili posted a photo from the Antelope Valley on April 28th, well, or 27th, depending on where you are.

Perhaps we lose some missing pieces in this puzzle and forget about something that was done earlier, but I just want to start counting from this moment.

A few facts about this photo/photos:

1) It was posted exactly 3 years later from their famous photoshoot, when very, very, very many people, mostly in media, began to suspect that there is something between them in a romantic way. It was exactly in the same place, exactly with the same style, exactly in a similar image (waving curly hair, light flying dress, black and white effect) and even without a capture. The picture marked the anniversary and is very important for the two of them. An undeniable fact, beat me.

2) That photo was definitely taken by Cole. Why?

Here are a couple more facts in addition to the first:

They have the quality of captured on professional camera.

You can see, that Lili did not tag the photographer and said jokingly that the photo was taken by Milo, why would she lie, or hide that it was anyone else, because clearly she just hid that because it was Cole.

You may have noticed that Austin, when asked who took the photo, whether she took it and whether she is a good photographer, says no and her reaction with a grin and laugh is priceless. She also didn't tag nor the photographer, neither Lili in her photos from there.

You can watch the vlog in the Colleen blog and see there are very similar figures to Cole, Lili and Milo walking along the valley, because, duh, they were there.

You can view her post, where you can see Cole from the back (notice his dark clothing, the same as on one of his post in the profile, which he has already deleted, as well as his position from which the photo of Lili was supposedly taken and it is just in the same place).

You can observe his style of photography and how similar the theme is to the photos from 2017.

You can see the same poppy behind his ear in one of the past stories.

You may have noticed that the photo of Lili is processed with the same effect as several photos in Cole's profile, and I can tell you as an amateur photo editor that it is very identical.

Question: why arrange such a significant photoshoot with your ex after a few weeks of separation? Why is Cole smiling in a photo (black and white one with a mustache and black clothes) probably taken there? Why is everything so secretive if they broke up? Why even post a photo that your ex-boyfriend definitely took? How can you calmly go to this place, which reminds you of your joint travels with your former lover? Therefore, this photo and later another one from there were the first iron arguments in confirming the improvement of things.

 I would like to continue with another ironclad proof.

Lili in early may very fiercely, after a few weeks of Cole's statements about slander and threats, which she did not respond to so clearly at the time, defended Cole and pointed out the private relationship and literally said that people should stop it and even though should hurt and bully her, but not him.

Question: did she defend her ex so publicly? Would Lili talk about a private relationship if that was the way her past relationship was most often? Would she have written anything at all if she didn't care about him and didn't feel something towards him? I don't think so, so it's gibberish to say so (about the break up) when it's the second unquestionable argument.

 Next, we need to talk about the general activity of Cole and Lili in social media. I just want to list some observations, in different order, but it seems like everything we have now:

If earlier it was visible in the posts of Lili that it was clearly a show off, then over time and after the published photos, she began to behave more sincerely and tenderly, began to publish Milo less, began to say that there was only the two of them less, has stopped showing how good she is without certain someone, as if for Cole showing that she could cope without him, which was visible in the posts and stories, she began to talk more about improving her mental health as a result of training, spoke about how later she was feeling better and that she was grateful for those who were with her and difficult times and in light moments, that you just need to live and enjoy.

Additionally, I can say how she shone with each photo, and it was a natural glow of happiness and settling down. She no longer sang sad songs or posted sad songs, on the contrary, posted sexy, funny and relaxed ones. She appeared more in photos taken by paparazzi. She posted sexy, energetic, romantic movies, funny cartoons, watched funny clips, was excited about her project, laughed, danced with her dog, played with a dog with macaroni, cosplayed Willy Wonka (we all have a feeling it’s Cole’s thing, no?), playing with sand, puzzles, posted funny memes in story, which unfortunately coolly accepted as the opposite, posted a poem with a typo and funny answered to a fan who corrected it, told more about poems and attached a photo with a fragment of a poem about love from her upcoming book. She liked some photos from the anniversary of the last episode of the series, where we remember there was a hot scene of her and Cole's character, she liked a Bughead drawing. Yesterday, she actually posted one of the sexiest videos that will not be posted, being single and lonely, we saw that she actually spent more personal time with Cole (I am not saying they weren’t doing t back then), which was investigated thanks to many amazing people here, and even if they don't live together yet, they are more likely to meet and have met with each other, and more hints on sexy times (because, come one, maybe Milo was the one who left a hickey on her neck, huh?), which is undeniable, just compare the fact that she is no longer in the old rental, and he is not in Kj's house, she then posted a photo from some place, which is very similar to where Cole shot a video with Jimmy Fallon.

 He also began to be more active in social networks, exactly after she started posting photos of the Antelope Valley, he posted a series of photos of the kissing couple, even if it was a gay drawings, they were filled with love, there was a photo of him with cattle with the sarcastic caption, then the photo about porn bots, with funny ask to leave him alone and saying it’s not allowed to be horny on quarantine, again a photo of himself with heart eyes that I talked about above, he posted a very funny video recently. There were more photos from the paparazzi after some time when Lili's usually flashed, and then it stopped, then his humorous photo in the washing machine appeared, which she probably had taken, and why so I explained in the attached post, he posted a photo from the walk, which was also probably taken with her, because again, she had a similar location, then he jokingly called Tommy ‘the’ muse, maybe roasting fans, but he didn’t use ‘my’, so, indicating he still has his own muse, then we saw him at that damn party, which caused people's panic, although he is an ordinary person and has the right to relax, and by the way at this party he was very happy and frisky, but nothing bad or shameful happened and he is innocent, then we even saw Cole, after Lili, delete many of the photos, although he had also unarchived some of them several times, as she had, which means that he did not delete them completely, but just removed many of them, leaving the most tender photo after or before the kiss at the famous moment when Lili wanted a toast and eggs at 1 am, or many photos reflecting her body, which also marks not a bad phenomenon, but a simple trolling from them. Proof of this trolling and unarchiving is on the vastness of other blogs and on Twitter, thanks to that girl's video.

 The way their condition and activity on social networks have changed is very noticeable and is also third undeniable fact of denial of the break up. You can compare photos of Cole taken by Alex, where he is clearly very sad and depressed, because it was taken somewhere in the interval of their real breakup. And compare this with his smiling and playful state during the interview with Jimmy, where he also sparkled with happiness and fun, constantly smiling and seemed to be aroused about something (or someone). I think even a newcomer will notice a change in their mood and attitude. You will see the difference. And this does not happen when going through the break up after 4 years of deeply imbued with love relationships. Please understand, damn it.

 I have listed alas not everything that speaks so vividly about things going in the right positive direction and is evidence that everything is getting better again, there will be only more I assure you and you will kiss my ass, as Cole said.

 Execution cannot be pardoned.

 You have one attempt to put a comma and decide your fate, but I think you’ll  fail because you are a total sucker anyway.

 Bye!

#cole sprouse #lili reinhart #sprousehart #sprousehart positivity #sh positivity #bughead #only good vibes here #positivity #anon hate #anon ask #ask #cole and lili #relationship #break up #not a break up #shut up dumbass

[gleekto]

Summary: College AU/Famous!Blaine and Fanboy!Kurt - Kurt POV

Kurt really doesn’t have time to figure out the dating world between being a freshman at prestigious theatre school, LAADA,  and his active but secret blogging life in the Sing!Fandom. So what if Sing! ended last year? There are still fics to read and actors to follow. Especially the uber talented heartthrob lead, Blaine Anderson. He can act. He can sing. He can even dance. He’s gay. He’s out. And he’s only 24. Kurt is willing to twiddle his thumbs and click refresh until Blaine Anderson’s next project.

He just didn’t expect the next project to be on his roommate Rachel’s new TV show.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Even Better Than the Real Thing (4/15)

It takes Kurt until the following afternoon for the haze to lift and for his feet to land back down on the ground after spending the evening floating. He finally logs on to his tumblr and to the entirely unsurprising 13 messages, all anonymous, all asking him if he heard about whether his source met Blaine. He deletes all of them and clicks on his direct message from Mercedes last night.

From LimaBlaineFan to MercedesSing! : Guilty as charged. You found me out.

MercedesSing!: So let me get this straight - Your roommate and close friend is literally working with Blaine Anderson?!

LimaBlaineFan: He’s her love interest. They kiss.

MercedesSing!: Please don’t tell me you’re jealous because you know that’s all acting and you have suddenly gone from number one fanboy to real life acquaintance overnight and there are a good few hundred followers who would be intensely jealous of you if they knew.

LimaBlaineFan: They don’t. And they won’t. But no, I’m not jealous. Blaine is indeed gay, and you know, he doesn’t have a boyfriend right now. Was too difficult to meet someone while on a show like Sing!

MercedesSing!: He did not tell you that.

LimaBlaineFan: He did. And we commiserated about growing up in Ohio - two gay kids. We’re like peas and pod, Blaine Anderson and I.

MercedesSing!: Shut up. You had a heart to heart with Blaine Anderson. 

LImaBlaineFan: Now let’s not get ahead of ourselves. But I can confirm that he  is even more beautiful in real life.

MercedesSing!: This is nuts. I’m happy for you. Hell, I’m happy for me. Do you think he can hook me up with Jo Johnson for some music lessons? Kidding. No not really. Anyways. You met Blaine Anderson. And shit got real.

Kurt and Mercedes plot out just the right amount of info to post publicly on his blog from his “source”. 

My source confirms that Blaine Anderson is a genuinely nice guy, but you’ve all heard that before. He did find out that Blaine sang in his high school Glee club, and oh, he’s single right now. Don’t get any ideas though, fandom, because Blaine knows there’s a difference between a fan and a friend. Anyways, sounds like Blaine Anderson was as cute as ever - oh and he was wearing cherry red shoes.

...

“Let’s go, Kurt. Off your laptop, put away your homework, we’re going to the cast open mic night.” 

Kurt looks up over his computer skeptically. “Open mic night?”

“Oh come on. You don’t even have to perform if you don’t want to. And Blaine asked if you were coming-”

“He did? We talked for like five minutes. How does he even remember my name?” What.

“Yeah. I know it’s weird but I think you’re a good excuse not to have to be networking the whole night. For me too,” Rachel emphasizes. “Come on.”

Kurt nods his head from side to side, feigning indecision but of course he’s going. Blaine Anderson asked for him to come. Or asked if he was coming. Or whatever. He’s obviously going.

...

As he and Rachel are whisked into the Limelight - closed for a private event - by the security guard at the door, he’s sure he has accidentally fallen through a portal into the world of Sing!, with Blaine’s character, Roy Royson, up on stage as usual, serenading his on screen love interest with an unplugged version of an 80′s rock ballad. Today it’s Jack and Diane. 

Only Roy Royson would be wearing a plaid flannel shirt and not a fitted red cardigan with tight dark blue jeans and a navy bowtie. And man, Blaine Anderson can rock a bowtie. 

“He’s good, right?” Rachel gestures to Blaine on the stage, who sees them and gives a wink and smile. What a showman. “Talented.”

“He was on Sing!, Rachel. Not a shock that he can carry a tune,” Kurt shrugs. No way is he letting Rachel know how captivated he is. He’s seen Blaine as Roy perform on screen countless times and then on repeat, but something about seeing the real Blaine, all styled and a touch deliberately flamboyant but also very boyish singing classic 80′s rock, completely holding the live audience in his hands. He’s hard to look away from. By the time Kurt catches himself staring slightly open mouthed and manages to turn around to get a drink, Rachel already has a drink in hand and is sitting at a table with Jesse St. James and a few of the others he met the other week.

Kurt orders a ginger ale with one lime (can’t be caught drinking underage with the high profile cast), and turns towards Rachel’s table where Blaine is now conveniently sitting. Kurt would not have normally dared to sit beside him for fear of spilling his drink from shaky hands, or worse being tongue tied when being asked a mundane question, but it appears that the chair beside Blaine is the only empty one and Kurt is not sure if it’s a punishment or a reward. So it’s facing his fears or cozying up to the showrunner at a separate table. Awkward.

“Great performance,” Kurt starts as he sits down beside Blaine.  “I can appreciate a strong stage presence despite the strange choice of music genre.”

Blaine looks up and his smile widens amusedly as he shifts his chair over to make more room. “Thank you,” Blaine nods and then leans in to Kurt’s ear. “Well, despite the choice of genre, I may have caught you staring.”  Blaine winks. Did he just-

Kurt is mortified but Blaine just elbows him in the side and takes a sip of his beer.  He was caught. But Blaine doesn’t appear to be mad, or embarrassed, or irritated - In fact, he seems happily entertained . Cocky bastard. “Well, my dad is a big Mellencamp fan, and I can’t say I’ve ever had the pleasure of watching a classic performance where the lead is in anything other than stone washed jeans and flannel.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Oh it’s a compliment.” Kurt turns to him. “I did try to do Mellencamp once in a Glee club assignment in my junior year - complete with the flannel. But somehow I couldn’t pull it off. My dad even called me out.”

Blaine laughs, eyes sparkling and staring right at him. Man, that eye contact. “Too forced?” 

“Too straight,” Kurt answers and Blaine laughs again like Kurt is both funny and entertaining. “I think I got a lecture about not trying to be someone I’m not just to impress him. That he loves me just as I am blah blah blah.”

Blaine’s face turns serious. “That’s lucky.”

Kurt stares back. “I know.”

“So you were out?”

“Yeah. And maybe thanks to my dad and my Glee club, I survived Lima. But it wasn’t fun. Guess Lima’s just too narrow for all this fabulousness,” Kurt jokes, gesturing at today’s outfit - lime green tight army jeans with a purple button down and scarf. And of course a heart shaped broach. 

“Lima’s loss,” Blaine says seriously, reaching out to touch Kurt’s arm. Kurt jumps and then Blaine’s hand is gone again. “Well, you’re in LA, now. The fun is only just beginning.” Kurt’s jaw drops slightly and he can feel himself staring at Blaine, again, and trying to stop being drawn to that impossible magnetism.

“Let’s go, Kurt! It’s our turn.” Luckily Rachel pulling at his arm against the magnetic force rescues him.

“What?”

“I signed us up, of course. Defying Gravity. Let’s go.” Kurt normally loves performing. Loves performing Broadway hits. Loves performing with Rachel. But performing in front of his celebrity crush - that was not on his agenda. “Come on!” She pulls him up on stage. Ah well. Good thing he’s a good actor. Game face is about to be in full force.

When they take their bows, the room full of appropriately enthusiastic applause, Kurt lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “That was great, Kurt!” Blaine seems genuinely excited. “You’re a countertenor - You have an amazing voice!” Kurt beams. He has an amazing voice.

Before he can second guess himself, Kurt turns to Blaine and whispers, “Thank you. And I assume your love of Broadway is why I caught you staring.” 

Blaine laughs and chinks their glasses. “Guilty.”

...

When he gets home that night, high from all the performances, from the performing, from talking to Blaine Anderson again, he closes his door and screams silently into his pillow. He grabs his phone and texts Mercedes who is of course asleep in New York City.

Kurt: Mercedes, I’m back. We talked. Again. A lot. He kind of stared at me through my whole performance with Rachel. Which he admitted. And laughed. He even likes my voice. I think we’re friends. Like actually friends.

In the morning, Kurt wakes up to Mercedes’ reply. 

Mercedes: Of course he likes your voice. You’re epic. And friends? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

#even better than the real thing #gleekto writes #took a few days but here is the next part!

[elyreywrites]

so tell me what you want to hear

a gift for @bionerd2point0 for the Capes & Coffee Discord server’s gift exchange!! a huge thank you to my betas for this fic: Oceans and Tasteofpaint!!

title is from One Republic’s “Secrets”!

please REBLOG - DO NOT REPOST

AO3 Link

Teen 3,714 words Tim Drake/Jason Todd

Summary:

And here Tim was, about to ask his goddamn crush to be his fake boyfriend.

He couldn’t do this, he absolutely, positively, could not—

This was a huge mistake.

- - - - -

Tim stared at the phone, at the contact pulled up, and wished for some sign to either call or suffer through the whole situation. He could suffer through it, but… Tim was fed up with being asked the same question every time he was out in public.

“Are you seeing anyone?”

“Who are you dating?”

“Is there anyone special in your life right now?”

Ever since he turned eighteen, the vicious sharks that made up the press were desperate for the details of his romantic life. Bruce had said it would blow over soon enough, once some new sensational story came about, but four months later they were still going strong. Tim was at the end of his rope with them.

There were only so many times he could say, “No comment.” It hadn’t made any difference at all in four months. Apparently, being the youngest CEO in history and of such a huge company made him very eligible. While the chatter had calmed down a bit over time, it was still present enough that something had to be done. Something drastic.

Something he was dreading.

All he needed for a few weeks was a fake date, a partner that would get the vultures off his back. It had to be someone he knew because it had to seem authentic. That was a short list though. Dick wasn’t an option. Kon, Bart, and Cassie were all out because they were all busy and they’d have to be in Gotham. Stephanie and Tam were just… no. He wasn’t doing that. That really only left the first and last person Tim would ever want to pick.

Jason.

Once upon a time, Jason had been his Robin, his hero, the person he wanted to make proud almost as much as his parents. The hero-worship had died when Tim nearly did. Tim’s crush did too, but that didn’t stay gone. It took a few years, Jason apologizing, and the Reds working a few cases together, but it returned with a vengeance.

And here he was, about to ask his goddamn crush to be his fake boyfriend. Tim would be lucky if this didn’t break the shaky… truce? Friendship? Whatever it was they had. Tim would like to call them friends, but did Jason think they were friends? Oh god, Jason probably didn’t think they were friends.

He couldn’t do this, he absolutely, positively, could not—

The soft chime of his phone’s reminder tone broke him out of the downward spiral of his thoughts. The notification popped up, dragging his attention from Jason’s contact. Right, he was supposed to appear on some talk show tomorrow. Youngest and most eligible CEO and all. He just knew they’d try to pry into his love life.

Tim had to do this. Before he could rethink it, he pressed dial. At the first ring, he almost panicked and chucked it across the room instinctively. This was a terrible idea, but it was the lesser of the two evils. He was just about ready to snap and really tear into the press. Physically, verbally, he wasn’t even sure at this point.

Jason answered on the third ring. “What’s up, Timbo? You don’t call very often.”

This was a huge mistake.

“I need you to do me a big favor.”

“That depends,” Jason drawled, “on what the favor is.”

Wincing, Tim said in a rush, “I need you to be my fake boyfriend for a little while so the press will stop hounding me for details on a love life I don’t have.”

Silence. Every moment without a response made it harder for Tim to breathe. He had fucked up, he had fucked up, abort, abort—

Jason snorted. “You know, I was wondering how you were holding up with that. I’ve seen the news about it. Guess this answers my question, huh?”

“Guess it does. Any chance you could answer mine?” Nerves and stress made him snarky, okay? The past few months were rough, Tim thought he could be forgiven.

“Yeah, Timmy, I can help you get them out of your hair for a little while,” Jason said. “Alright, do you want to figure out our epic love story right now, or is there something you need to do?”

Tim sighed, relaxing bonelessly into the couch. “Now please. I have to be on some morning talk show tomorrow, and they’re going to ask.”

The next hour and a half, Tim swung wildly between excitement over getting to date his crush and hopeless misery that it was fake. They both gave the okay for holding hands, going on dates, even kissing to sell this charade. He would get to do all of that with Jason, which kind of made him want to bury his face in a pillow and scream like a complete cliche. As soon as they were out of the public eye, though? There wouldn’t be anyone to pretend for. All bets would be off.

The next few months were going to be amazing and terrible all at once.

Tim didn’t sleep much that night.

- - - - -

This was absolutely a mistake and Tim should have just suffered through the continual questioning about his non-existent love life. What the hell had he been thinking?! Sleep-Deprived Tim made terrible choices, honestly. Sure, he could totally fake-date his sort of long-time crush! That wouldn’t end in disaster and heartbreak at all ! 

Real and fake heartbreak, even, because they had a messy break-up planned. It was going to happen in two months in public, and he would cry – that probably wouldn’t be fake – and the press would hopefully feel sorry enough for him to not pester him about romance for a while.

Tim was absolutely doomed. He literally set himself up for failure.

“Mr. Drake-Wayne?”

Tim startled, staring at the assistant that had called his name.

“You go on in 5 minutes,” the assistant said.

This whole situation was messing him up. He was usually more aware of his surroundings, but he kept getting lost in thought because he was fake-dating his crush and one-time hero. Oh god.

Focus. Talk show. They’ll inevitably ask, and then he has to get to work on selling this whole… thing.

He heard clapping and then the assistant gave him a nod. “That’s your cue,” they said. Tim walked out, his CEO-Drake Heir smile firmly in place.

To his surprise, the host, a woman in her mid-thirties, stayed on script and didn’t ask if he was dating anyone until halfway through the show. When the question did come, Tim coughed and glanced away. The flush on his face wasn’t fake because for a couple months everyone would think that someone like Jason would date Tim, of all people. Jason Todd was legally dead, but he was handsome and kind and he would publicly be dating Tim. No, his blushing was very real, but that only worked to help sell the act even more. 

“Oh,” the host teased, “that look says you are. Who’s the lucky lady? Or maybe you haven’t asked her out yet?”

His head snapped towards her with a very real scowl on his face. “He and I only started dating recently. It’s still pretty new, and I’m not willing to share more at this time. We would like to figure out our relationship before we face the scrutiny of the public.”

He almost smirked at her stiffly pleasant smile. She was trying to hide her shock, and to the inexperienced eye, she succeeded. However, Tim was a detective on a different level altogether. Plus, with Cass for a sister, he was bound to pick up something from the master of reading body language and expressions.

“‘He’, huh?” she said cheerfully for the camera. “That’s quite a surprise – you’ve had multiple girlfriends in the past.”

Tim hummed, “Yes, I’m bisexual, though I recently realized that I lean more towards men than women. See, something a lot of people don’t understand is that it’s like a scale and everyone has their own preferences. It took me a long time to come to terms with that because of the heteronormativity in our society and the compulsory heterosexuality that many of us in the LGBTQ+ community have to work through.” He smiled back at her, projecting as much innocence as he could as he derailed her interview.

“Ah. Congratulations on finding yourself, then,” the host grinned. Tim saw the panic in her eyes. Her interview with the young, eligible CEO had gone in an unexpected direction and she had no idea what to do.

Meanwhile, he was having the time of his life, and he was fairly sure Jason would be howling when he watched it. If Tim had to suffer through pretending to date Jason, he was going to enjoy any suffering others went through along the way. This woman was the first.

Tim sure as hell wasn’t going to regret coming out very publicly and speaking out about some of the problems in their society. He wasn’t even worried that much about how this would affect Wayne Enterprises – Bruce would back him up. He’d probably even be proud of Tim.

The rest of the show went very smoothly. All personal questions disappeared completely as the host stuck to discussing the various community projects that Wayne Enterprises had. It was rather frustrating that it took a fake-boyfriend and shocking the host of a morning talk show to actually be asked about his work, though.

- - - - -

His phone was blowing up with notifications by the time he was free from the cameras. Oh the joys of a live show and a family that either really supported him or wanted to find something to taunt him about – it was difficult to tell. All he knew was that Bruce, Dick, Alfred, Stephanie, and Cass usually tried to watch any time he appeared on TV. Which meant they all heard that he had a boyfriend, and he was about to be pestered to the ends of the earth.

He sighed but accepted the call coming in. “Hey Dick,” he greeted, projecting as much innocence as he could into his voice. It worked a lot better when he was younger and happier. Now he was a bit too tired and jaded to sell it.

“Timmy! I just wanted to check in,” Dick said pointedly. “You know, see if there’s anything new in your life. Maybe something you neglected to tell me?”

Humming, Tim pretended to think it over. “Nope, can’t think of anything,” he said finally as he continued to his car and climbed in.

On the other end of the line there was a quiet squawk and a scuffling sound, then a click. “Tim,” Bruce cut in and oh, he was definitely on speaker now. That meant they were ganging up on him, instead of letting him deal with them one by one. “You have a boyfriend.”

Tim didn’t answer – it hadn’t been a question, after all.

“Master Timothy, I do believe all of us feel hurt that you neglected to inform us of this development,” Alfred reprimanded.

Oh shit, now Alfred was in on this. Dammit, he really preferred dealing with them one at a time. “Alfred, it’s… complicated, but I promise that it’s a very new development! I haven’t been hiding it for days or anything, I swear. How about I come to the manor for lunch today and I’ll explain?”

“Very good Master Timothy,” Alfred sniffed. “I shall set out a place setting for you.”

Alfred hung up the phone, cutting off Dick and Bruce’s protesting.

Tim stared at his phone for a second and then hurried home. He needed to talk to Jason. He also needed to grab something for the inevitable headache. Any lunch with the whole family resulted in a headache, but at least this one might prove somewhat entertaining as well.

Tim collapsed carelessly across his couch, and dug his phone out of his pocket. With a resigned sigh, he dialed Jason.

When he picked up, Tim didn’t bother offering or waiting for a greeting. “You have to come to the manor for lunch.”

There was a long silence on the other end of the line. Then, Jason asked, “Why the hell should I do that?”

Tim groaned and sunk deeper into his couch. “Bruce, Dick, and Alfred watched the talk show this morning—” Tim waited for Jason to stop snickering. So he did watch it then. At least he enjoyed it, apparently. “Yeah. They weren’t happy that they hadn’t been informed. It was fine when it was just Bruce and Dick, but then Alfred spoke up. Jay, he used the Disappointed In You voice. I had to say something!”

“Yeah,” Jason sighed, “that would do it. So, what did you say? That it’s fake or that we’re dating? Or both.”

“I said it was complicated and very recent.” Tim smirked and added, “I also said I would go to the manor for lunch and explain. If you come with me, you can see Dick and Bruce’s reactions first-hand and we can troll them a little more. Alfred will get the truth out of us pretty quick, but we can have some fun with this before he does.”

“You sneaky bastard.” He knew Jason well enough that he could almost feel Jason’s glare. “Alright fine, you little shit. I’ll be there for lunch so we can mess with those fuckers.”

Tim refrained from cheering – that would only make Jason change his mind. Well, he didn’t cheer out loud. Cheering internally was perfectly acceptable. Though this was going to be his first test at acting like Jason’s boyfriend for a little while. Why did Tim keep putting himself in these situations?

“Alright, see you there,” he said before hanging up. Tim hauled himself off the couch and headed for the kitchen. Coffee was imperative and he still needed to grab some medicine. After today, he’d know for sure whether fake-dating Jason would be amazing or painful.

An hour later, Jason was just climbing off his motorcycle when Tim pulled up to the manor. He waited for Tim to climb off his own bike and then murmured, “How do we want to do this?”

Tim paused. “What are you comfortable with?”

“I can put my arm around your shoulders, if you’re cool with that?” he offered. “Feel free to wrap your arm around my waist.”

Snickering, Tim walked over close enough for Jason to get his arm around him, and Jason pulled him into his side. He tried not to lean into the warmth, but if Jason did notice, hopefully Tim could pass it off as his usual touch-starvation.

Trolling Dick and Bruce was going to be hilarious.

Dick threw open the door just as they were walking up. When he did, his hands were on his hips and he looked ready to scold Tim for all his secret-keeping – something that never went over well in a family of detectives. Then it registered what he was seeing and the only way Tim could describe it was that Dick blue-screened. His face went blank and Tim could almost see an error message pop up.

Dick.exe has stopped working.

“Hey Dick,” Tim said casually, jumping right into it, “Jason’s my boyfriend.” As soon as he said it, he wondered if this was really the best plan. Jason was definitely on better terms with the family now, but there was still a chance that they’d react badly, and that might hurt Jason because as much as he tried to hide it, he still wanted their approval at times and oh god—

Dick grinned, and just – what? Yeah, Tim was glad that this was apparently being received well, but that… wasn’t the response he was expecting. At all. He was expecting shock, stuttering and stumbling and confusion ! Not… this.

“Finally!” Dick burst out. “Oh my god, we’ve all been waiting for you two to get together for ages! I guess this means Bruce wins the bet, then.” He mock-scowled at them. “Really, you two? You couldn’t have waited until one of you was in danger and then confessed? Or is that what happened? Oh my god, if that happened and none of us heard about one of you being in serious danger then the lecture on keeping secrets is going to be so much worse.”

“What.” Jason said.

Tim, however, was well on his way to panicking and fleeing Gotham entirely. Apparently, everyone else had picked up on his crush. Okay, sure, he wasn’t really surprised Dick knew after all the times he gushed about Jason to Dick, but enough people for a betting pool? How did everyone else find out? He’d been subtle! Of all the possible ways this could end terribly that had run through his head, he never thought Jason would find out because Dick couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

Dick shrugged, “Yeah, we were betting on you two. I’m not sure why you’re so surprised. I mean, really, after all the other bets we make? I’m just glad you two finally got your shit together.”

He huffed, looking reproachfully at Jason. “Little Wing, I love you, but if I had to listen to one more phone call about how much you wish you had never attacked Tim because he’s wonderful and amazing and he didn’t deserve what you did to him – I was going to scream. And Tim, Baby Bird…” Dick looked at him, raising an eyebrow, “I really don’t need to listen to another twenty minute rant about how incredible Jay is and how you’re so happy he’s doing better now. I mean, you two were ridiculous. Bruce had to listen to me whine about it.”

Tim.exe has stopped working, Tim thought, trying to process all of that with his brain moving at a snail’s pace. Because it sounded like Jason liked him too, but that – that couldn’t possibly be right. There was absolutely no way his feelings were reciprocated. Tim risked a glance at Jason, half-terrified of what he’d see, but Jason didn’t seem confused or disgusted or anything like that. No, he was just as utterly gobsmacked as Tim was, but that didn’t mean he felt the same.

“Man, you have no idea how heartbroken I was when I thought you had started dating someone else,” Dick continued, oblivious to their reactions. “I knew you thought Jason probably thought you were an annoying pest at best, so I thought you’d given up and started dating someone new. Meanwhile, Jason was absolutely convinced that you couldn’t like him after the whole Pit Madness thing. But I am so glad you two worked it all out!”

“We’re fake-dating to get the press off my back,” Tim blurted.

Jason’s head snapped to look at Tim. “You think that I think you’re an annoying pest?”

“Okay , so uh,” Dick rocked back on his heels, “it looks like you two have some things to discuss. I’m just… going to go inside now. Lunch will be ready in ten minutes, so try to have it sorted by then? Come in once you do. Uh. Good luck?” He slipped inside and closed the door.

Tim stared at the closed door, trying not to stare at his… at Jason. Oh god. What even were they now? He was still pressed up against Jason’s side. Why was he pressed up against Jason’s side? He really should not be—

As Tim tried to slide his hand away, the arm wrapped around his shoulders tightened, holding him in place. Then, Jason was in front of him, tucking Tim’s face into his chest and resting his chin on top of Tim’s head. Tim would forever deny that he squeaked.

“For the record, I don’t think you’re an annoying pest at all. The Demon Brat, sure, but I think you’re actually pretty fucking incredible,” Jason said.

“Oh,” Tim whispered. “I think you’re really awesome too. And I forgave you a while ago for what happened while you were still dealing with the Pit Madness. I promise I don’t hold it against you.”

“I don’t deserve that, Baby Bird. I tried to kill you, multiple times. I know for a fact that you’ve got scars from my attempts, so why would you—”

“That wasn’t you,” Tim cut in firmly, dislodging Jason to glare up at him. “That wasn’t you acting as yourself. I mean, it was the Pit influencing you and twisting things. Then on top of that, you were dealing with the trauma of dying and digging yourself out of your grave! It wasn’t you, Jay, and you’re not like that anymore. You’re so much better now, and I’m so glad because you’re happier. I just like seeing you happy.” Tim’s cheeks burned as he realized what he said. He groaned, hiding his face back against Jason’s chest.

Tim felt Jason’s chuckle. “Shut up,” he muttered.

“I like seeing you happy too,” Jason admitted. “Since Dick spilled everything already, I’ll go ahead and say that I like you, Tim. It’s why I agreed to be your fake-boyfriend. I wasn’t sure whether I was dreading or looking forward to the next couple of months. How would you feel about dating for real?”

Tim pulled away, eyes wide. “Yes, please, oh my god I was so not looking forward to the staged break-up. I was going to actually cry without needing to pretend at all.”

Jason laughed louder that time. “I would have probably held it together until I got back to my apartment. I already decided that I was going to be eating a lot more ice cream.” Tim tried to bury his grin in Jason’s chest, but Jason huffed and pulled back. “As fucking adorable as that is, didn’t I just say that I liked seeing you happy? Come on, don’t hide that pretty smile from me.”

“Oh my god, stop. We’re about to have lunch with our entire family, can you please not make me look like a tomato,” he groaned.

“Alright, alright, I’ll lay off for now. Let’s get inside, Baby Bird.”

“How much do you want to bet that they’ve been watching us through the windows?” Tim grumbled.

Jason shook his head as he started leading him towards the door. “I’m sure as fuck not taking that bet.”

#jaytim #fanfiction #dcu #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #red robin #red hood #nightwing #elyrey writes things #fake dating #mutual pining #lgbtq themes #lgbtq character #coming out

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #315

“can’t breathe to scream  /  suffocating in this dream  /  long way down”

Who was your first big crush? I would probably say this guy in high school named Sebastian. We sat beside each other in Art, and I definitely liked him a lot. Man, my freshman-sophomore years honestly involved a handful of crushes before Jason popped into the picture and I lost all romantic interest in everyone else. Where was the first place you drove after you got your license? N/A Is it a blue sky outside right now? No. All North Carolina has known for weeks on end now is rain. We've had very rare sunny days, but for the most part, it's just gray and gross. Was your last breakup a bad one? Nah, I'd say it ended maturely and with a mutual understanding of "why." When was the last time you were surprised, in a pleasant way? Hell if I know. Is there an ice-cream flavor that you strongly dislike? Which one? Yeah, like strawberry. What was the last sitcom you watched? No clue. ^ Do you have a favorite character in that sitcom? Why is that character your favorite? N/A What does the last group you joined on Facebook concern? I am 90% sure it was this group I joined that is literally just about cute yet dangerous animals lmao, mostly reptiles and invertebrates. "Misunderstood biteybois and where to befriemd them" or some stupid shit like that. Has there been a spider in your house at any time recently? Not that I've seen, no. Do you like wearing make-up? Not at all. I only like wearing it for pictures and then taking that shit off. ^ If so, how old were you when you first started to wear it? I started consistently wearing it my freshman year of high school. Then some time later I just showed up one day without any, shocked all my friends, and then only wore it when I felt like it. What foods are you craving lately, if any? Nothing, really. What were some of your favorite foods as a child? Chicken nuggets of course, as well as spaghetti, peanut butter sandwiches, just the typical stuff that kids tend to enjoy. When you were younger, did you ever have a friend that your parents hated? No. Have you ever talked in your sleep before? That's very normal for me, especially now that I have nightmares like every goddamn night. What was the last song you heard, that reminded you of someone? Well, not a real someone, but "The Ordinary World" by the Hit House is 110% one of Fetch's soon-to-be themes. What has brought you joy today? Nothing brought me "joy," really. When was the last time you won a prize in a raffle? What was it? I actually recently won an art rafle on deviantART hosted by a truly amazing artist, like I thought I had no chance, and she's going to be drawing Moondust!!!! :'''') What is the next non-essential item that you intend to buy for yourself? I'm still paying the bulk of my tattoo in May. Is there anywhere in your town/city that's rumored to be haunted? Oh, I'm sure. When you were younger, did you ever think that a certain place was haunted? Bitch I still do lmao. What were your school meals like? Did you enjoy them? This really depended on the menu for the day. My school lunches were nowhere near as bad as some people make theirs sound, but most things still weren't great. I think school pizzas are the most notoriously bad. What kind of granola bar did you eat most recently? I had a cashew bar earlier today. Do you have any books on your shelf that you've read multiple times? I never reread books. What did your last post on social media concern? That I personally wrote, something regarding subtle racism still being racism, pretty much. How do you feel about people using graphic images as a scare tactic to promote their beliefs? (i.e.: PETA, abortion…) I have mixed feelings on this. Like sometimes seeing the brutal side of certain things is definitely useful in opening someone's mind to things they don't want to see/think about, but then there's that, too: it can just be so invasive and unexpected, and thus very upsetting and even scarring. I'd say I'm most for the "appropriate" social media route: using censorship that the viewer can decide whether or not to remove. But you obviously can't do that in like, a public protest with a sign, so idk. Which is harder for you: writing creatively or academically? Honestly, both are pretty easy for me. I enjoy writing creatively far more, though. Do you think gender neutral bathrooms are a good idea? I think it's fine to have them as an option. When was the last time you voluntarily went outside of your comfort zone? Just talking about stuff in group therapy recently. Would you ever use a dating site that costs money, like Match.com or eHarmony? Have you known anyone who had good experience with such sites? No, and yes. Do you think it’s fair that people are able to make a reasonable salary and live comfortable lives just by making YouTube videos? Yes? It takes charisma and talent in some area (humor, education, etc.) as well as consistency for it to be a reliable career, and just consider how often you hear about creators burning out. That happens for a reason. Entertainment is a valid job category and should not be seen as an unfair joke. Whether you’re in college or not, do you become fearful about whether or not you’ll find a good job? Story of my life. What is something you can only understand if you've experienced it first hand? Deep heartbreak. Do you think it's a double standard that a woman can hit a man and expect to get away with it, but if a man hits a woman it's assault? Obviously. Abuse knows no gender, and hitting another person is just that. I do, however, believe in self-defense, also regardless of gender. In terms of a wedding, put these things in order from what would be MOST important to be perfect, to LEAST important... Engagement ring, dress, hair, venue, ceremony, food, pictures, decorations, honeymoon. This requires too much thinking, haha... but I do know the quality of my honeymoon would be most important to me, given that that's personal time with my new spouse and not a public celebration. I feel like what goes on behind closed doors is more important and heartfelt than how you act publicly. Do you have a go-to small talk conversation topic? Probably video games or music, idk. Define "small talk." Does anyone owe you money? Do you owe anyone money? (Besides credit cards) Mom does. She just a few days ago had to borrow $100 for rent. If someone was going to buy you any practical gift (anything except a house or car), what would you choose? It'd be dope as fuck if someone could pay for Venus' next terrarium, but that's a big purchase that I'd have a hard time accepting. How many people do you know with the same first name as you? At least one, but her name is spelled differently. What in your opinion is the best love song ever written? I'm not sure, but I can tell you that "When It's Love" by Van Halen has always been high on the list for me. Was your mother married when she had you? No, actually. I thought she was until my most recent bday, I think. It was just part of a conversation. How old was the first person you kissed? He was a few months into 18. The first person you were in a relationship with, do you still care about them? Of course, he's a sweet guy. We don't talk or anything, but that doesn't mean I don't care about him. Has anyone ever sang to you? Yes. So, what if you married the last person you kissed? That'd be pretty rad. What are you listening to at the moment? "Long Way Down" from the The Evil Within soundtrack. It's funny, like I've loved the game for many years, but I'm now in a serious semi-obsession phase after watching another let's play of it. Have you read the The Hunger Games trilogy? I only read the first book. I loved it, but just never continued. What is your boss’ (or school prinicpal’s) name? N/A Who is the person you dislike the most? That I personally know, probably a former best friend, oddly enough. Do you text your parents often? If Mom's not home, it's not unusual for us to text. I don't text my dad much because he's not a fan of texting. Do you watch YouTube videos often? Pretty much always. Do you know anyone with celiac disease? Sara, my aunt, and my cousin. Those are the ones I know of, anyway. Do you currently have any alarms set? No. How many cars can fit in your driveway? Barely even two. If someone else is here, they usually just park where the road meets the sidewalk of the cul-de-sac. Do you have the ashes of a family member or a pet? Of my dog Teddy, yes. Have you ever been involved in a car crash? Yes, as a kid. Do you prefer flash or no flash on a camera? Definitely no flash. It's more natural, and especially with people, it obviously prevents red eye. How often do you use hashtags? Just about never. Have you ever had whiplash before? No. Have you ever given another person or an animal a bath before? Pets, yes. I could never bathe another human. Is there a birdbath in your yard? No. Weirdest place you’ve ever had a cramp? Nowhere weird, I think... How many lamps are in the room you’re in? How many are actually turned on? Technically three, if you count my snake's heat lamp. Right now that's the only light that's on. Are there any activities you enjoy doing, but can only do for a short amount of time before you get bored or tired of them? Yeah, reading comes to mind first. Is there anything coming out soon (books, albums, movies, video games) that you're looking forward to? I'm not up-to-date on this stuff at all, not even video games. What is something someone recommended to you that you disliked/hated? I know Girt's recommended me music I haven't been a fan of. We like the same general stuff, but there are specific sub-genres we differ in opinion about. Can you unwrap a Starburst in your mouth? ... There are people who do this to even know in the first place??? What is the last thing you ate? Popcorn. Who is your favorite person to spend time with? Sara. Do you know how to grill a steak? I don't know how to cook, period. Do you have a large dog? We don't have a dog currently, but Mom is looking for one pretty intently. We don't know the size it'll end up being. Do you like walking places? Absolutely not. I can't walk far at all without my legs starting to scream at me because leading such a sedentary lifestyle led to muscle atrophy in my legs. It's incredibly embarrassing. Are you a fan of bands most people don’t know of? That's not uncommon for me. Have you ever sent an X-Rated picture to someone? No. Do you think your voice is higher or lower than average? It's deeper than the average woman's. Do you have a pool? No, but I really, really want one... Given how easily I sweat, I would love to use swimming to strengthen my legs. I could also stop the very moment I feel I need to; it in general sounds like something I could quite easily do. How many times have you been on a plane? Ummm including the trips going back, at least six times. Favorite ice cream flavor? Oh my gooooood, if you haven't tried Ben & Jerry's "phish food"... fucking try that shit. It is innnnnncredible. Do you have a TikTok? Nope. Do you enjoy driving? Fuck no I don't. Your favorite store as a teen? Hot Topic was and still is my fave, ha. Favorite YouTuber? There's this one called Markiplier that I think's pretty cool. How many online accounts do you have? A LOT. My whole life is essentially on the computer, so... .-. Do you tend to always be in some sort of drama? Quite the opposite. Do you collect quarters from every state? No. When was the last time your living room furniture was rearranged? Not since we moved into this place. When you were little did you like watching Cartoon Network, Disney or Nickelodeon more? Disney probably topped Nickelodeon. I didn't watch much CN. Who was the last person to kiss you on the cheek? Either my niece or nephew when saying bye. Have you ever seen a magic show? Yes, as a kid. I even had a magician for my bday once. When was the last time you vomited and why? It's been a year or so. It would've been a side effect of starting a certain med that I didn't stay on because it so consistently made me sick. Where do you usually sit when you eat dinner? Either in my bed (I know) or at the dinner table if Nicole is here to eat with us. What time do you usually go to sleep at night? It's typically around 7:30-8:30, occasionally a bit later. I can't believe as a teen, it was my "rule" that I couldn't go to sleep before 10:30 because it was "too early." Nowadays, I can barely imagine regularly staying up that late. Do you avoid using public restrooms? As best as I can. I've seen some nasty shit. What’s your favorite type of cookie? Chocolate chip. How basic.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''long way down'' - the evil within ost

[princess-of-the-corner]

Okay, thinking of more ways for Marinette and Adrien to handle the Lila situation in some sort of standard ‘salt fic’, though the salt quickly turns to sugar:

Between Adrien learning that Lila isn’t just telling grand-but -harmless stories, learning that she threatened Marinette, and having to deal with Lila coming onto him constantly, Adrien has had enough.

He decides they have to do something, but he knows calling Lila out won’t help. Not because she doesn’t deserve it, or because ‘she could be Akumatized again’. No, it’s because Lila is good at coming up with things on the fly and would turn everyone against both of them if they tried.

Adrien’s solution? Fake Dating AU.

His idea is that he an Marinette pretend to be together for a while. At least until Lila is done with.

Adrien does admit it’s a bit much, and he doesn’t like lying like that either, but Lila is very much not taking ‘no I think you’re terrible’ for an answer. He’s just that desperate and kinda trapped since he can’t find a way to reject her publicly without backlash.

Like, he’s tried to tell other people that Lila hanging off him makes him uncomfortable, but that’s met with ‘well you let Chloé hang off you all the time so why’s this different?’. And when he says that Chloé is a friend and has permission, people get all ‘well isn’t Lila your friend too?’, and he can’t call her out because of previously mentioned fuckery.

But him getting a girlfriend is a good way to at least get Lila away from him. Or at the very least it will have everyone else go ‘look, the man has a girlfriend. Even if you supposedly don’t think of him as a potential boyfriend, you probably should lay off the touchy-feely-thing.’

he says it also gives them an excuse to hang out more often.

Marinette is conflicted for so many reasons. But in the end, she swallows down her anxiety and tells him that she shouldn’t do it because she has a crush on him.

She’s legit like ‘this is probably the worst way to find out but...’.

While the ‘Fake Dating AU’ idea could work, it would be unfair because then she’d be the girl with a crush all up on him.

Adrien is very flustered by the confession, and feels really guilty about putting her in that position.

He’s more concerned about how it would’ve been hurting her to ‘be so close yet so far’ and all that.

At this point he’s like ‘okay this was a dumb idea let’s figure something else out.

Marinette suggests he ask someone else. Like Kagami or even Chloé, or just go and ask out that ‘other girl he likes’ for real and date her.

Adrien kinda flounders on why he chose Marinette instead of Kagami. I mean, the real reason is that he is already into Mari and would like to actually date her, but he’s very much in denial. “just a friend” my ass!

He also can’t pretend to go with Chloé for several reasons.

The biggest is that while she can overact about liking him, the two of them would be very uncomfortable pretending to be an actual couple.

There’s also the fact that it wouldn’t be believable since he ‘turned her down so often’.

Obviously Adrien doesn’t tell Mari that the ‘other girl’ he likes is Ladybug, but he explains that it’s a complicated situation

he also mentions that she rejected him, and that he also needs to talk to her. Because while it’s no where near the same as the Lila situation, he had been a bit pushy about flirting after rejection.

After a long conversation, they end up still going through with it.

Adrien tells Marinette that she’s allowed to back out at any time. If it gets too painful for her. He’d accept the brunt of whatever fallout their ‘breakup’ is.

Marinette tells him that he is the one to set most of the boundaries on how far she can go with the ‘being a girlfriend’ thing. Because obviously they have to act the part and be all cutesy, but she doesn’t want to force him into anything.

He trusts her to not take advantage of the situation.

The next day at school is wild.

Adrien kisses Mari on the cheek and she just lets out this high-pitched noise. Luckily he finds this endearingly adorable instead of weird.

Alya sees this and is begging for details. As is the rest of the class, really.

After the initial announcement everyone kinda holds their breath and braces for loud noises. When it’s just quiet, they all look over at Chloé.

Chloé looks up from texting to be like ‘What? Oh, right. You hurt him and I’ll kick your ass.”

Of course my girl is in on this plan.

TBH one of the constants with me is that she pretends to be ‘madly in love’ with Adrien for various reasons, but she does care about him a lot so she supports whatever relationship he wants to go for

also, another constant with me is Chloé figuring out everyone’s identities so you know. She double supports this.

And then we have Lila. She is very pissed. Not just because of Adrien being ‘off the market’, but because it was Marinette of all people. So she does what she does best. She lies. Fortunately for Mari, some are a bit too unbelievable, and others she has Adrien to be an alibi for.

She claims she ‘recently developed a small crush on Adrien and Marinette is obviously doing this just to hurt her!’. The class is like ‘nah Mari’s been in love with him for like a year. Lila covers this lie with ‘oh I didn’t know about that. I was just concerned because she doesn’t like me and this happened now...’

She brings up that she saw Mari out with another guy, and Adrien says ‘no we were out that day’ or ‘we were on video call’. Lila covers this by saying that she must’ve just seen a girl that looks like her.

She says Mari ‘confronted her in the bathroom at lunch about all this and totally threatened her to stop!’. Too bad she didn’t realize that Mari and Adrien were out to lunch off-campus. This one is a bit harder to lie out of, but people don’t realize everything is a lie, just that this might be.

Lila then brings in the ‘big guns’, telling Gabriel.

She informs him about the relationship, saying that Marinette is just horrible, and is only interested in Adrien because he’s Gabriel’s son and it would easily further her career.

Of course, while Gabriel isn’t aware of all of Lila’s bullshit(like her harassment of Adrien), he does know that she lies about things.

He also knows that Marinette doesn’t need to use a relationship with Adrien to further her career, as she’s already gotten the attention of himself and a few other celebrities.

However, now that Gabriel is aware of the relationship, he tells Adrien to bring Marinette over so they can formally meet.

There’s panic from the class when Adrien tells Mari about this, and of course she panics.

But by the end of the night she and Gabriel actually get along, having gone on a tangent and talked Fashion for literal hours, and the relationship has the ‘Gabriel Seal Of Approval™’

Lila is internally screaming.

As all this continues, Adrien is having a lot of realizations.

He’s getting very into the role as Marinette’s boyfriend. A little too into it. Like, even Mari is like ‘okay keep doing that and I’ll start to wonder whether this is acting or not’, because he’s still being sweet and affectionate even when they’re somewhere alone and don’t have to play the parts.

And then there’s the things everyone else is saying. Like, all of his friends are like ‘glad you finally realized you love her’. When he asks what they mean, they give this long list of things that ‘were obvious signs you loved her’.

Basically he realizes he was in love with Marinette the whole time. He goes over everything to try and pinpoint when this happened and ends up pretty much at the very beginning with the umbrella.

Adrien is having a Crisis™. So he does the only thing he can think of: wait until he can be Chat Noir and talk to Ladybug.

Chat tells her that while he is still in love with her, he also seems to have fallen for this other girl.

Ladybug says ‘look, I’ll admit that while I have the other guy, I might’ve fallen for you if I hadn’t fallen for him. But two heroes dating is dangerous and all.’. She suggests he asks out the other girl.

Chat admits that might be difficult, and explains that he and this girl are ‘fake dating’ for reasons. But in the end he’s encouraged to be honest about all this.

Ladybug’s also a little unnerved by this situation being a little too similar to her own, but brushes it off as coincidence.

Adrien takes a day or two to get his courage up, and talks to Marinette about it

Explains that while it had started as ‘fake dating’, he realized he actually does like her like that.

Mari’s a little worried that it’s just him feeling like that because they’ve been acting the part

But he explains that no, he’s been feeling this way for quite a while and this was just the thing to make him realize

So now they’re real dating and are 10x as obnoxious. Chloé is the only one who knows why the dynamic shifted, but everyone else is a little confused.

Of course we’re eventually going to have a reveal.

During the next Akuma attack, Chat Noir saves Marinette and takes her somewhere safe, saying ‘Okay honey, stay here and don’t get into trouble bye love you’. And kisses her on the cheek

Marinette.exe has stopped working

Chat is half-way down the block before he’s like ‘wait FUCK*

They have a talk later and Mari’s like “you’re an idiot but I love you. Obviously I love you. I fell in love with you twice like an idoit.’

Adrien’s like ‘aw, babe you had a crush on me’?

Mari just replies with ‘you fell in love with me twice too so shut up!’.

She then tells him that she’s Ladybug and Adrien.exe has stopped working

They somehow get more obnoxious

The LadyNoir flirt banter gets worse, but for the most part they can wait until out of costume to be actually romantic.

Adrienette interactions have begun to mirror the LadyNoir flirt banter. Everyone is confused again.

Things are fine for a while but then Lila stirs something up again.

She manages to get a picture of Marinette kissing Chat and shows it to the class. Yikes.

Mari lets Adrien handle this which is a bad idea

He’s just like ‘Obviously we decided that Heroes are free game. I mean, who wouldn’t want to make out with a superhero?’.

Marinette rolls with it and turns to Nino and Alya like ‘You get it, right? I mean, Nino, if Rena Rouge showed up and asked to make out, you would go for it, right?”

Alya and Nino kinda hesitantly agree. Like, the expressions Mari and Adrien give them makes them wonder if they know… but it’s not possible…

They then make it worse, Adrien saying ‘I’d love to have Ladybug show up at my window one night’. Mari then asks him ‘What if it’s Rena or Carapace?’. Adrien pauses, gives his best cat grin, and says ‘You talking one or the other or both?’

They then go off on a tangent, joking about making out with the various other heroes. Most of which are currently in the room, and have no idea how to handle this.

Eventually Chloé joins in the joking, asking ‘What, no love for Queen Bee?’. Adrien isn’t sure how to respond, but Marinette just grins and says ‘That depends on if you get the Bee again or not, now doesn’t it?”/ Chloé is not flustered and low-key screaming.

Alya and Nino ask for a double date the next weekend.

While out somewhere quiet, they confront Mari and Adrien about being Ladybug and Chat Noir. They’re all ‘idk what you mean! Why ever would you think that?”

They’re not buying that. They keep pushing and eventually they’re like ‘okay fine you’re right can we get back to dinner now?’

Cue freaking out

also cue them asking about that ‘making out with heroes’ thing. Marinette and Adrien kinda admit that while they might be Disaster Bis and open to the potential, they were mostly saying it to fuck with everyone.

Then Alya remembers ‘wait, fuck Lila!’.

She connects the dots that if Mari is Ladybug and Mari hates Lila then Lila is lying about being bffs with Ladybug and probably everything else too

Mari is a little salty about the whole situation, but knows that Lila is convincing

They come clean about the whole situation. How they both knew Lila was lying from day one, how she threatened Marinette, how Adrien was scared that speaking up would turn everyone against him too since they could turn against Mari so easily, how Lila’s harassment led to the ‘fake dating’, and how that turned to real dating.

There are a lot of apologies. There’s even more apologies because they discuss this with the rest of the class. Obviously for now they keep the ‘Mari and Adrien are Ladybug and Chat Noir’ thing secret, but they make up a half-truth of how they found out from Ladybug

There’s some debate about what to do about Lila

Pretty much everyone is ready to throwdown after hearing about how much she’s been doing behind their backs.

First thing Alya does is take down any posts involving Lila on the Ladyblog and making a new post explaining it

They also manage to talk to everyone else in school and warn them about Lila before she can even catch wind of all this

And someone just so happens to inform the teachers that perhaps they should ‘call Lila’s mom and discuss how much school she’s missing from all this ‘traveling’...’

Everyone forms an Adrien Defense Squad that is determined to keep Lila a good five feet away from him at all times.

At first, Lila literally doesn’t know what hits her

all of a sudden, everyone is ignoring her at best. The rest are glaring at her.

People don’t even apologize when they drag Adrien away from her

no one’s interested in her latest stories

The Adrien Defense Squad is also a Marinette Defense Squad, making sure that Mari has at least one person with her so that Lila can’t corner her and retaliate

her mom shows up to yell at her about how Lila lied to her about the school being closed and how she lied to the school about being traveling

Lila tries to save face around her classmates, but they’re like ‘yeah we already know’.

Of course Lila ends up Akumatized.

I mean what else is new?

Since she’s willingly an Akuma, she has pretty much complete control over her actions.

Idk what kind of Akuma she is this time. Maybe one with an actual hypnotic voice or something?

Anyway, she goes nuts. Eventually, Lila goes to far. Maybe it’s something she does or says, maybe it’s something someone accuses her of and she confesses to, either way it’s probably something involving Adrien.

At this point, suddenly, Hawkmoth recalls the Butterfly.

Lila doesn’t notice at first, just keeps going. She only notices when she’s suddenly tackled to the ground and tied up

Everyone notices how different it is, how aware she was compared to the other Akuma Victims who didn’t remember anything

They realize she was willingly Akumatized

The butterfly, however, is still there.

Lila pretty much confirms that she was willingly Akumatized when she demands it come back to her.

However, the butterfly just hovers in front of Ladybug.

Ladybug has squared up and is ready to punch a butterfly, but it doesn’t do anything.

Through a series of charades with the Butterfly…. Somehow… anyway, they learn that Hawkmoth recalled the Butterfly because he had no idea how terrible Lila was, and while he might be doing some shitty things, he has a lot of limits.

After Ladybug purifies the Butterfly and fixes whatever damage Lila caused, we have the aftermath

Lila is dealt with on several levels. The biggest thing is that even though Hawkmoth says he will no longer work with someone like her, she is to be taken out of the country just in case.

They don’t deal with Hawkmoth just yet, but he takes a break because Gabriel needs to do some parenting.

Everyone recovers from Lila’s bullshit and sorts out all the lies she told

Mari and Adrien continue dating in peace. Mostly.

Until someone decides to take up that ‘allowed to makeout with Heroes’ clause.

Overall, it’s a ‘Happily Ever After’ thing.

#miraculous ladybug #ml salt #salt turned to sugar #fake dating au

[incarnateirony]

*Sits down at desk*

*calmly files through books in front of a fireplace to classical music* *glances up at the camera* Oh, hello. *demurely pulls off glasses*

What makes a rights movement work? Is it the dialogue? The discourse? The trolling? 

Tonight, I thought I’d tell you a little story and let you decide.

---

...*just looks to Good Omens fandom* So we have... *flips through* An accepted canon queer pairing between two leads, with no rival ships. The singular author has been receptive to queer readings, as has both of the actors, even if one clarified he doesn’t “play it like that.” But by authorial support, vague as it was, it was canon. 

...*flips channel to season 10 supernatural fandom* So here we have an accusation of queerbait between two leads with a similar story, with several major rival ships. Of the multiple authors, several have been supportive, many silent, one actor said he plays it like that, the other clarified he doesn’t.  Antis, often rival-shippers, heckled. Cas was a villain, not a friend.

*Plays through til’ Season 12 - 3 seasons ago - “doesn’t exist”* *1997 popup spam*

... *flips channel to season 13 supernatural fandom* So here we have antis having a panicked discussion about how Dabb could canonize Destiel without any sort of admission or physical engagement for it to be valid, while admitting at the actor that used to say he didn’t play it seems okay with it now, as well as it becoming an official marketing line, which they later denied. They mutually aired at Cas not even being cared for in public, while saying Dean cared more about him than Sam in their own lane. (x) (x) (x) (x) I mean, between them screaming at How Dare They Pander With The 13.05 Ending Being Romantically Shot. But everyone forgot that I guess.

*flips to season 14* Let’s see, genderswap, identical but truncated couple, same landmarks... no rivals... *checks box* cool, everyone sees canon.

...*flips to season 15 fandom* *gestures at the everything, including the storytelling style they described that could be used to be amply canon by time flashbacks and Cas’ death* 

*looks at parts of shipping fandom trying to argue with season 10 anti fandom takes, but simultaneously repeating them*

*looks at season 13 anti fandom*

*files through recently sanitized anti walls that went on their third rage tear about the show being pandered by being romantic, since the current showrunner turn over* *clicks channel* “Destiel is real” - Jensen *menu flip* “Sam has better taste/Dean has no taste--” *clicks next* “domestic dispute--” --Jensen after filming 15.09 *clicks* “Our characters would be fucking [on another network]” --Misha after 15.09 *clicks to major media channel* “Breakup” - TVG *flips through other multiple TVG Destiel ads over to Variety* Relationship-- *flips across to soap opera reporters* 15.03 Dark point in the romance-- *flips to extrafanon, nonprofessional hubs* Hm, apologies for viewing it with a heteronormative lens until now from nonshippers that usually don’t cover the show, while fandom hangs itself on its own hubs in precarious silence or refusal to address the most challenging material. Alright.

*flips to modern marketing* Hm, DeanCas commercials *clicks* Oh right, that official Join The Hunt Destiel shirt that was printed and tagged and receipted like that, that they tried to tantrum offline *clicks* OH right that OTHER Destiel canon pride shirt that Stands just HAPPENED to make this year.

*turns off television* *blinks* *rubs brows*

*tents fingers*

So at some very bizarre point, things have seemed to switch around here.

At one point, Destiel fandom was avid that the romance mattered more than the physicality, even for canonicity. They, themselves, pointed out how homophobic and double-standard it was to demand a kiss when not all hetero couples need them to be valid. But admittedly, back then, the subtext pool was shallow. A veneer placed by a few key authors.

And yet today, while antis scream in waves, their own predictions and fears of how Dabb would handle Destiel coming true, their own “kiss or it doesn’t count” logic (presented only to positive fandom, of course, with the above links of their conversations among themselves where they knew that didn’t matter) seems to have transmitted like a disease rused in representation battles but in the name of arguing with them, of validating them, of giving them any sort of relevance in a show that overtly mocks them and while they riot and fit and convulse and delete and recant opinions, spewing things they don’t even believe anymore (above links.)

it's LITERALLY the same tactics as in Trump politics, where they just flood bullshit they don't even believe to keep people elevating them having any relevance at all in the conversation and distracting them from the actual core conversation/content. Disseminating misinformation and confusion to the conversation. Hell, going so far as to spend months building fake blogs to integrate to the culture and later spread bullshit (which was its own comedy act in the end)

Also the same tactic TAW used to try to inflate completely made up bullshit bad PR about Mish by getting well meaning fans of his floating the conversation by defending him and keeping it in the public eye. ITS THE SAME SHIT.

And yet here we are, with this fandom’s version of alt right dialogue having infected its respective progressive left, with tinhats instead of redhats vaguely yelling about Dabbama and spewing pointless self-defeating nonsense, but at some point -- somehow these fandom MSGAhats managed to successfully implant their ideology in the fandom and convince supporters of Team GreenBlue their active deletion of the content that these antis, themselves, once qualified as terrible potential canons, that are now very real -- that the deletion of this is what makes progressive dialogue.

Their nature is contrarian. Contrarian to TPTB Contrarian to canon Contrarian to other fans Contrarian to themselves

TPTB are already ignoring them. Oh my bad, BLOCKING. Some have gone past muting into BLOCKING them. Canon doesn't care

If fans would stop humoring all fuckin 50 of them they'd only have themselves to be contrarian with.

Humoring them also includes internalizing their hilarious dialogues as anything worth two fucking pennies much less anything to contend with or prove or meet their clown bars of

Oh and while I'm thinking about it: As recently as S13, antis were still trying to pretend it was a reasonable opinion that "Cas isn't family, or friend, Dean doesn't care about him at all, much less Sam" In a year and a half they slid to "THEY'RE ONLY BEST FRIENDS NOT LOVERS!"

Seriously. Now take the absurdism of the S13 scenario Turn your scope into the current scenario Realize how every big publication has been addressing this shit And here we are! The new absurdism is, deadass, denying it. And convincing other fans that they somehow need to prove the flagrantly obvious, just like season 13~ with Cas' importance to the family. Just like any other intentionally daft way they suck up air and kilobits while frothing more than a rabid dog.

It's this weird mewling whimper, already settling down all of their values but desperately, hoping in this giant publicly visible homo tornado that the media itself is commenting on, that somehow, they can convince the GA who can't hear them anyway that it ain't gay. But somehow having convinced the rest of the fandom, now, that a stupid ridiculous-ass viewpoint this fandom used to know better than needing or demanding (rather than wanting or desiring, or encouraging) is needed to "prove" something to a GA that... *turns TV back on and files through the channels* ...Thheyyyyyyyyyy seem to be getting it better than shipping fandom right now, actually.

Stop internalizing horse shit and letting it redirect your activism like a damn political bot.

Unless, I don’t know-- unless you decided, with all of this -- since I did say you could decide -- that this remaining absurdity in the fandom is actually any kind of activism rather than trained demolition of your own content.

Grand as their self-contradictory public facade is, what I wouldn’t pay to be a fly on their GC walls to see their nega-clowning panic right now.

You know that goddamn meme republicans pass around where they or Trump just need to say the dumbest shit possible to make “stupid libs” chase the cat laser? THAT IS LITERALLY WHAT THIS FANDOM HAS LET THESE FUCKING IDIOTS DO TO THEM FOR YEARS TO THE POINT Y’ALL HAVE STARTED ARGUING THE OPPOSITE OF WHERE YOU STARTED.

#supernatural #destiel #lgbtqia #representation #fandom

[lvminae]

2, 3, 7, 19, 22, 25, 39 for wilson and house. you were asking for it

This got wordier than I intended so I’m putting it under a read more. Also I was asking for it, thank you for my life

2. How’s their team work? Do they share well?

They work together pretty well, considering they have been doing it for ages. They use their banter to bounce ideas and thoughts off each other, mostly for work because smaller things they have just gotten used to and mostly know how to go about it. 

Sharing wise, Wilson shares more than House does. In both things like feelings, and things like his lunch. If you count having half your lunch stolen as sharing. Some of Wilson’s sharing is less sharing and more enabling but it (mostly) works for them.

3. Are they open about their relationship? How do they feel about public displays of affection?

Yes and no? Their relationship is not much different than what you see in canon, not publicly anyways. Privately they can actually spend more time being close, physically and emotionally. 

Since it isn’t a huge change, they don’t do much of anything different. People have believed they were a couple for years, now they actually acknowledge it instead of going in Denial mode (or House’s version of it, making sarcastic jokes about it being true that no one really knows if they are sarcastic or not). 

They DO make a bit of a big deal about it at first, mostly to mess with people like Cuddy and House’s team. Being over dramatic and affectionate. It lasts like a week though, before things go back to normal and they are focused on a new case. But Wilson does still enjoy a quick kiss here and there. Lowkey pda. 

7. What annoys them the most about their partner? Would they change it if they could?

There are so many things about the other that they find annoying. They annoy the shit out of each other! House is an ass, and Wilson is too wishy washy for his own good. But the things that annoy them are also part of the things that draw them together.

They do both wish there were some changes in the other, though. Wilson is infuriated about how much House does to sabotage his own happiness and definitely wishes that he could change it. Over time House probably wouldn’t do it as much, but there is always a part of him that is going to be insecure and self deprecating, and while Wilson has been through the worst of it, it still hurts to see and feels childish at times.

And House does find Wilson’s self sacrificing actions annoying as all hell too, and he does wish that Wilson would do more for himself. But again, if he did, he and Wilson may not even be friends.

19. What do they fight about? What are their arguments like? How do they make up?

They can fight about literally anything, if one of them is grumpy enough. It’s a key part of their interactions. Their arguments can range from little less-actual-arguing-more-pointed-bantering to full on screaming matches that can result in broken things (look at Wilson throwing a bottle through a window after House resorted to acting like a 5 year old. This happened at House’s dad’s funeral).

How they make up also ranges depending on what it was about and how bad it was. Sometimes they make up with each other by pulling pranks on each other, because it’s normal. Sometimes they attempt to suck it up and actually sit down and talk. Those times are tense and excruciatingly difficult. Sometimes they have to take some time from each other to cool down and have others nag them so they can actually think through what upset them.

22. Does their work ever interfere with the relationship?

Other than causing some tension with certain cases, no, because they work together, and their offices are next to each other. Their relationship interferes with work. Always has. But it works for them.

25. How much time do they spend together? Do they share their feelings, or hold things in?

They spend a hell of a lot of time together. That’s what happens when you work together, and House is the type of person who can... alienate people out of his life and out of others lives, intentionally and unintentionally, so that increases the time they are together.

They both hold their feelings in. Wilson shares a lot more because he is more open to do so. And when he doesn’t, House has a tendency to poke and prod at him until he does because he needs to know. This is absolutely something that has started arguments.

House is so emotionally constipated that getting him to talk about anything regarding his own emotions deserves a medal. He deflects like all hell, and loves to just hide behind his pain or focus on anything other than his feelings. But, over time, he does slowly open up with Wilson. It’s difficult, so much so it makes things like his leg hurt more, but he does make that effort. He still prefers to hold things in, or reveal his feelings through other means so he doesn’t have to address them correctly. Wilson at the very least is good at picking up on these things.

39. Who initiated the relationship? Who kissed who first?  When did they realize they were in love?

THIS IS A TOUGH ONE... It honestly could be either one, because the most likely situation that’d start it all is one of them is so emotionally strained and close to breaking that the action of expressing love or kissing was probably an “act first, think later” type of response. And this could happen with House OR Wilson. It is more likely that Wilson would be the one to do it in that case. If one of them felt like they were losing the other (most likely House worrying he is going to lose Wilson), then it’d probably be House. After things calm down, they’d have to go through the motions of actually talking about what happened, but it’d be a chance for them to admit something they have both been feeling for a long time.

As for when they realized? I couldn’t say for sure. Probably some time earlier in their friendship than we see in canon. Wilson realized first, but didn’t want to endanger their friendship. And he DID love his wives, he really did. But he still knew deep down that it was probably always going to be House. 

As for House, he would have realized probably some time during Wilson’s first marriage. Or second. The signs are there and it makes the most logical sense why he acts the way he does when Wilson is with someone else. But it is also something he chooses to ignore, or brushes aside to explain as something else, because he really is in that much denial of his own feelings (see when he didn’t want to acknowledge his feelings for Cuddy so bad that he instead thought he was being terrorized by a mosquito). It’d probably take that big moment of desperation for him to actually stop pushing it away and admit to himself something he’s felt for who knows how long.

#ask tag #house md #gregory house #james wilson #hilson