#and now he has a whole ass PERSON who is equally lacking in common sense

[aethelar]

For @evening-rose-309 who sent a prompt about a dog

“Would you stop?” Newt hisses, tugging his sleeve out of his soul’s mouth.

“Newt?” Leta asks, hesitating and cocking her head at him curiously. Newt can - just - see the shadowy outline of her own soul, something small and inquisitive peering over her shoulder. It’s a mark of how well he knows her, how close they are as friends, and the fact that she’s never seen so much as a stray tail-wag of his own soul is something he tries not to think about.

“He’s worrying again,” he says, frowning down at the dog. “Which he doesn’t need to do, because nothing’s going to go wrong.”

The dog - his soul - raises an unimpressed eyebrow and snags his other sleeve to try again.

“Oh,” Leta says. “We can go back, if you’re worried. Sorry, I didn’t realise.”

“What - no, I’m not worried. He is. It’s fine. C’mon Leta, we’ve been planning this for weeks.”

She’s already leaving though and he scowls in ungracious defeat. “If your soul’s worried then you’re worried,” she calls back to him. “The mooncalves will be there next full moon.”

The dog, black and white with a luxuriously silky coat, trots smugly after her and barks when Newt is too slow to follow. “Heel,” Newt snarks as he obeys. “Sit, stay. Roll over. I thought dogs were meant to be loyal and obedient, but no. I got the overprotective worrywart. Do I look like an overprotective worrywart? No. Clearly, you’re someone else’s soul, or just some random dog ghost that appeared in the night and stole mine. I wouldn’t put it past you.”

“Newt, you’re muttering again.”

He pulls a face at Leta. Then another at his soul, who is looking immeasurably happier now that they’re headed back in the castle instead of out to the forest at night, and is carefully scouting round corners for prefects.

Newt rolls his eyes, but dutifully hides behind a tapestry when he’s told. It’s his soul doing the telling, after all. You can’t argue with yourself.

Except, apparently for when you can. Newt’s expelled, his brother’s gone to war, he’s going to follow him - and his soul won’t let him go. “He’s Theseus,” Newt hisses, yanking his sleeve back and continuing to shrink his stuff into the battered suitcase he found. “We’re not going to leave him.”

The dog dances in place, as frustrated as he is, then tries to steal his registration forms. “Give those - hey! Do not chew that up, that’s the only ID I’ve got and I need - hey!” Newt salvages the soggy scrap, then throws it down in disgust. The charm’s bust; it displays his real age, too young to sign up.

“Listen,” he says, then levitates his case out of reach. “Listen damnit. We can’t stay here. What else are we meant to do? It won’t be that bad. We’re not backing out, so could we please just - could you do what a soul is meant to do and back me up for once?”

The dog whines, ears back, tail curled down. He crowds closer to Newt, butting his head against Newt’s lanky, unmuscled form and growling softly at the fake ID. “It won’t be that bad,” Newt repeats quietly, reaching out to stroke behind his ears. “We’ll be fine. Are you going to help me fix the charm?”

His soul does. It’s better than it was before.

War is not better. War is worse. The dog curls round him at night and leaps between him and enemy spells and once when Newt falls unconscious he feels his soul pulling him out the mud before he drowns. War is worse, and on his worst days he hides with the dragons and admits to his dog that he was right and they should never have come, and his dog rests his head on Newt’s knee and licks his face to comfort him.

“Hush,” he mumbles. “It’s not illegal, it’s heroic. We’re saving lives.”

He gets a flat stare in response, followed by a deafeningly loud bark. Thank god he’s the only one who can hear it, because there’s at least four guards that he can see. “You are entirely far too concerned with the law,” he says. “Where did I go wrong with you. Do you think I should use a shield charm, or go invisible and rely on stealth?”

In answer, the dog huffs, then grabs his sleeve and tows him round to the circus’ back entrance. Newt hadn’t even known high-top tents had a back entrance. “See?” he says. “We’ll make a hufflepuff of you yet. Let’s go free some unicorns.”

In Egypt, they fall ill. That’s the only way Newt can explain it. He doesn’t know what’s wrong, or what’s causing it, but he feels - tight. Too tight. Constrained. He wakes up gasping for breath with his fingers clawing at his throat, but there’s nothing there. The dog flinches at things neither of them can see, hackles raised and backing Newt into defensible corners when the shadows come too close.

There’s nothing there. Newt knows there’s nothing, he’s checked, but the dog is on such high alert and being so overprotective that they barely make it out of Cairo alive. The thunderbird is safe, though, and when Newt stumbles his way through a splinching his soul hauls him over the sand to a sheltered place to hide.

“Oh fuck,” Newt says, staring at his leg with wide, shocky eyes. “Oh fuck, it’s, what do I do, I never - I got expelled half way through that course, I don’t know what to do, it’s bleeding oh my fuck.”

The dog noses at his hands, teeth catching on the end of his sleeve, and Newt curls his fingers instinctively around the bottle. “Dittany?” He reads. “What do I do - hey, wait what are you - ow.” The dittany burns, but it does its job, and Newt’s leg slowly reforms into something he can walk on.

“Huh,” he says, as the dog inspects the scar. “I didn’t know you could do that.”

The illness doesn’t go away. By the time Newt gets to New York he feels like he can barely breathe every time he wakes up, and he spends the first morning throwing up in the toilet and cursing the fact that it wasn’t just sea sickness like he thought. The dog sticks close, too close, so much that it’s almost hard to walk through the crowded city streets.

“Is it a wizard thing?” Jacob asks, the fourth time Newt’s had to stop and wait for his soul to stop blocking the way. Jacob’s own soul is a monkey, Newt thinks, maybe one of the primates - he caught a glimpse of it when Jacob was staring in wonder at the creatures in his case. Not for the first time, Newt wishes he could share his dog with someone else. Not everyone. But. It would be nice, he thinks, for some people to see him the way they sometimes let him see them.

“No,” is what he says out loud. “Wizard souls aren’t any different from muggle ones, as far as I know. Mine just disagrees with me a lot.”

“Oh,” Jacob says, taken aback. “I’m... sorry?”

Newt would laugh, except his dog is curled miserably around his knees, staring out at the world as though it would hurt him. “Don’t be,” he says, dropping a hand to bury in the silky fur. “He’s just looking out for me. I wouldn’t have him any other way.”

In MACUSA’s holding cells they’re interrogated by a man called Percival Graves. Newt’s dog tries to rip his throat out. When they’re sent to be executed, the dog bites through the cuffs before Pickett can even crawl down to them, and barely gives Newt time to rescue Tina before he drags them away. They run through secret passages and disused access tunnels and Tina looks at him funny and asks how he knew they were there, and Newt waves the tattered ends of his sleeve at her in answer.

After, when Graves turned out to be Grindelwald and Picquery threw him in a cell, when Tina’s reinstated and Jacob’s forgotten and Frank is flying hurricane-high and riding the wind to Arizona, Newt stands on the dock and watches his boat pull out of the harbour.

“We were meant to be on that,” he says, but it sounds distant even to him. The dog gives him a muffled bork in reply, teeth clamped around his wrist, tail tucked low between his legs.

He’s started looking raggedy. His silky fur is going bald in patches. There’s a red welt developing around Newt’s neck from where he wakes up in the morning and has to remember how to breathe.

“Ok,” Newt says, letting his soul pull him insistently back to the city. “I’m coming. It’ll be ok.”

“Oh,” he says when he finds the man. He’s in chains, rough iron that suppresses his magic and has rubbed his skin raw and bleeding. It matches where the dog is losing fur.

“The fuck are you,” Graves rasps, shifting to hunch protectively over the little sugar-glider in his hands. It too is chained, one spelled iron-link that closes around its throat like a collar.

“Um,” Newt says, trusting his dog to keep watch while he works on undoing the wards. “I’m Newt. I think I have your soul.”

Graves freezes. His gaze darts between Newt and the dog, and there’s something undeniably vulnerable about realising that he can see him. The dog steps between them, hackles raised, and growls a warning, and that, of all things, makes Graves relax.

“Yeah,” he says, a vaguely hysterical note to his voice that suggests he thinks he’s dreaming. “Mangy mutt that likes to fight. Sounds like me.”

“You should see him when he’s had a bath,” Newt says mildly. “He’s very handsome.”

The wards fall, and Newt busies himself with releasing the chains and misses Graves reaction. When the last iron link cracks open he feels it like a weight lifted off his neck, and the sugar glider squeaks and scrambles up to sit on Graves’ head.

“You’re going to drag me on an adventure, aren’t you?” Graves asks, sounding resigned. “And then you’re going to get in trouble and I’m going to have to rescue you.”

“Well,” Newt says. “You’re going to make a fuss about breaking the law, and then you’re going to worry too much about everything that could go wrong. But you’re also going to be there to make sure it doesn’t go badly wrong, so that’s ok.”

Graves barks out a laugh, and chokes through the coughing fit that follows. Both Newt and the sugar glider hover awkwardly over him, Newt with a spell to ease his airways, the sugar glider with a tiny hand tugging comfortingly on his ear. “Sounds like me,” Graves says when he can speak again.

“Good. But first, you’re going to come home and get better and I’m going to fuss over you until you’re well again.”

“And that,” Graves says, and raises a finger to stroke the sugar glider with a fond smile, “That sounds a lot like you.”

#gramander #newt scamander #percival graves #soulmate au #i mean #yes it is it definitely is #daemon au #sort of #but!! please consider graves growing up with this tiny sugar glider soul #it has no self preservation #it throws itself into danger #and it's so small?? #and now he has a whole ass PERSON who is equally lacking in common sense #what the hell did he do to deserve this #at least he now has a dog to corral newt & sugar glider into some semblance of order

[vidalinav]

Burning Questions I Still Have:

You know SJM really hasn’t given us too much substance in these book talks so I’m just going to put down these questions as my own way of expanding the topic of the book beyond Eris, Azriel, and the copious amount of sex they’re going to have (Nesta and Cassian) though all of that is very exciting. 

1. How much does Mor factor into this story? Are we going to see her at all or would she be more focused in on an Azriel story if we get one? 

2. Does Elain have any say in sending Nesta away? Will she have some involvement in Nesta’s healing? Will we see her in Illyria, visiting her sister perhaps, or will it be short instances? 

3. Does Nesta make new friends? Assumedly she does, but right now it’s looking very established character centric, but you know with these lack of spoilers. (rolls eyes)

4. Will the witch concept brought up in ACOWAR come up in ACOSF? Is Nesta technically a witch? Because her power extends beyond her natural reserve “technically.” Will we see other witches? Witches vs Illyrians... Maybe?

5. What is the main conflict in Illyria? And how will it be resolved? So far we know it has something to do with rebellion, but how do you fix that realistically? 

6. How will the women in Illyria gain some autonomy, because lets be honest, everyone learning to fight is and is not going to fix everything? 

7. Where is Bryaxis? 

8. Eris has a deal with Rhysand to help him kill his father. How would that work? Does it involve Nesta, does this then involve her more in the Inner Circle’s antics in which she’ll gain a job in some way? Whether she wants to or not. 

9. How does Nesta suffer? We know emotionally, yes. Power, yes. But how does that come about when there’s so much potential conflict in this book. 

10. What is the main conflict of this story? There seems to be many, that I’m sure will be extended to the other books that come out, but to what to extent does this book extend to the others. Will we see all of the same characters in the books after this one? 

11. Eris’s mom and Helion; Helion and Lucien. Enough said. 

12. Nesta dealing with her father’s death. 

13. Cassian’s mom, who is supposedly dead. (Jury is still out on that one; no dead body, no dead)

14. What’s that shadowy evil substance that Mor discovers by her estate?

15. Will Mor get a story? Especially since if she does then she’d be the first LGBTQ character from the SJM universe to have their own book... I think. Don’t quote me on that. But she’s got a lot to deal with too and I think she deserves a book. She’s a very interesting character. She reminds me of a mixture between Aelin and Bryce and the more secretive aspects of Nesta. 

16. Will Elain ever get a mate or significant other? Honestly, I’m on the fence with this. Mostly because one, Elain is purely side-character to me. She’s interesting, but not enough right now to warrant a whole book. I also just think that right now she’s kind of useless, and I don’t mean that to be mean, I just mean that she doesn’t have a purpose yet and most of her personality right now is purely fodder. It’s her main personality I say. Maybe not the honest to god deep one, but she’s got at least the surface level personality with hints of iceberg feelings. 

Interestingly enough it makes more sense I think to have the next book centered on Lucien and Azriel if they’re going to settle that conflict. Even though I hate love triangles in any sense, but none of them love each other right now anyways... And I think that it would be hard to figure out these three relationships when they’re already linked together in ACOWAR and ACOFAS. 

17. Will we ever know why Amren and Nesta got into a fight? Will their relationship be fixed? Also where she at in this whole conflict of interest that is this book and Nesta being sent away? Will we see her often? 

18. Will Rhysand have a good amount of time in this book? What is his involvement with Nesta--his sister-in-law lol? Will their relationship reach some level of understanding? Will they hate each other for ever? Will they have some semblance of mutual respect and a common denominator that is the love for Feyre and their protectiveness for their family? 

19. What are Cassian’s conflicts? To be quite honest, I feel this book is very Nesta centric, and I do hope that Cassian is not just thrown in there for romance and that’s it. BUT we know the Illyrian conflict, the Mor/Azriel conflict, the issue with being born a bastard, not belonging with his people. The Nesta conflict, the war probably. But like besides Nesta, all of these conflicts have existed for as long as he’s lived. So is that really a conflict or an issue to be dealt with... A lot of this will be resolved through the “Powers of Love” lol and whatever else they can do in Illyria, but then what else? Internally, I don’t feel he has too much to deal with because well... a lot of his problems center around other people. 

20. What will Feyre being doing? Let me be honest, I don’t like the thought of Feyre being pregnant. I understand her body her choice, but this girl literally went from let’s spend time with each other to let’s have a baby, because maybe it won’t happen in a few hundred years. But let’s be honest, if I was her I would not be thinking that it would happen in a few hundred years. Things happen in the most inconvenient times, and right now with all this, it’s very inconvenient. I also think I really don’t like it because right now she is really playing into that role of a wife and not as everything we know her as. I mean she’s allowed to relax, to be loved and what not, but I don’t know. Lame, I think, that she became high lady in name, but probably not in any sort of empowerment way, and I think that’s sad because she could do an awful lot of good, and should do it, because right now her court has soooooo many issues, even issues that Rhys kind of just puts in the back burner and hopes for the best. She is the equal to Rhys, but so far she’s not seeming so equal and she also seems to have lost some purpose. So I’m also wondering if this want of a child and planning for it is Feyre’s way of being useful again... because she spent so much of her life taking care of other people. Which again..... ehhhhhh. 

21. What the f*** are Nesta’s powers? What do they do? I hope it does not end in some vague inclination like Mor’s truth power whatever. But like, she should be all powerful, death god status. I want to see Nesta as the goddess she is. 

22. Koschei??? The stealer of the hero’s wife or whatever as he’s referenced in Russian lore... I think? Is he going to be more involved in Vassa, or Elain even (because Elain right now has always been the damsel) or Nesta, because of the queens and “their powerful ally.” Wouldn’t he be the best teacher for Nesta’s power really, when he’s a powerful sorcerer in the book/death god that has worshippers and what not and collects women.   

>>> My theory is that if Elain and Lucien are the next pov’s then maybe Nesta will be kidnapped by Koschei at the end, and Elain gets to really show what she’ll do for her family, and what she’s made of. But it also keeps the story going without cutting it off completely, and we keep the bigger conflict which is that there’s a whole world of problems and rulers and that Nesta’s story can’t really end at this book, because again she’s suppose to be all-powerful, cauldron incarnate, the wind has heard of her, spreading the news around, and that she does need to learn her powers and I doubt anyone can really teach her, but she for sure probably can’t teach her self. 

23. Will the love triangle situation not be between Elain, Lucien, and Azriel, but Vassa, Elain, and Lucien, or maybe a love square like A Midsummer Night’s Dream? That would be kinda cool. I just don’t really know if Azriel will be a love interest for Elain, even if he has that fondness for her. Azriel has a lot of problems, but he’s also like... I don’t know. Off topic. 

24. The Queens--what the hell? What about that one who turned old and is now immortal? They were chilling in Vassa’s kingdom. Where are they so Nesta can beat their asses? Also, these human kingdoms--what? What are they doing now that their queens are just in hiding and that allied with Hybern to be fae? Do they know? 

25. Magical humans--fae blood sometimes trickle into human lines from that one fae whoever she is. Doubt she’s the only one. Probably will have magical humans, realistically. 

26. Vassa--all of Vassa. Maybe Vassa and Mor.... You never know. I doubt they’ll get that curse reversed and she’ll be completely human, so maybe she’ll a be a shifter of a sort. If I can remember she’s like the only successful experiment. So maybe she got some fae blood and she can live for a long time and can be with Mor. I certainly hope Mor does not give up her immortality for her love interest, which I’m assuming you can do like in TOG. 

27. The fae kingdoms, that conflict needs be somewhat resolved. Doubtful. There’s three main ones I think. No one’s been signing treaties. How? That is all. 

28. Azriel powers, shadows, how did that happen? Does it elude to something bigger. 

29. Cassian’s background. Who the hell is he? Will we know papa? Mama? Past? He’s the most powerful Illyrian commander, he can’t be normal. The laws of fiction dictate otherwise. 

30. Last names? Middle names? Titles. Give me everything Sara. 

31. Eris. After daddy is dead, what next? Is his conflict so small and easily taken care of. He is very interesting to me. 

32. Did they actually take care of the cauldron? Miriam and Draken, will we see them again and their ideal world? 

33. Will Nesta travel? Because she should. She deserves to, it was her plan in ACOTAR, but then she stayed, and now she’s a shell. Please have Nesta see the world. With Cassian or without. Don’t care. Maybe both. 

34. How is a treaty going to be established, when humans hate fae, fae enslave humans, and the fact that there is so much more than fae that exist as we know????? Hmmm???

35. Oh Tamlin! Where he at? What he been doing? How will he help this conflict? Assuming he’s probably going to factor more in Lucien’s story, I’m almost positive he’s the next POV. It wouldn’t make sense otherwise to my fanfic writer/ obsessive reader brain.  

36. The objective of different worlds. I know SJM probably won’t get into it too much and it would probably be very complicated, but other worlds. Are people still coming in? Do some want to leave? Is it easy to travel between them--provided you know how? *whispers* can Nesta do this?

37..... I don’t know. I will add more if I can think of any, because I probably can. Honestly this was like therapy and made me feel so much better than any of SJM’s lives about the future of this series.

38. ADD YOUR OWN; unless I wrote almost everything. But doubtful!

#nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #Azriel #Mor #feyre #rhysand #feysand #elain #lucien vanserra #acofas #acotar #acowar #acomaf #acosf #SJM #feyre archeron #vassa #eris vanserra #helion

[oh-so-scenarios]

one | "Familiar”

The King’s Consult - Chapter One: ‘Familiar’ [word count: 4.9k]

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⤑ Kɪᴍ Tᴀᴇʜʏᴜɴɢ ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇs ᴀʟʟ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴᴀʟ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘs ᴀʀᴇ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛʟᴇss ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʙᴇɴᴇғɪᴛ ʜɪᴍ. Bᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴅᴏsᴇɴ'ᴛ ᴍᴀᴛᴛᴇʀ. Hᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅs ᴀ ᴡɪғᴇ ʙʏ ɴᴇxᴛ ᴡɪɴᴛᴇʀ. Aɴᴅ ɪᴛ's Y/ɴ's ᴊᴏʙ ғɪɴᴅ ʜɪᴍ ᴏɴᴇ, ᴡʜᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ʜᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇs ɪᴛ ᴏʀ ɴᴏᴛ.

⤑ Arrogant King! Kim Taehyung x Consult! female reader; icequeen!au

~!~

Crown Prince Kim Taehyung - Records Journal entry of November 13th, 2020.

“Winter brings many things. Christmas, cold weather, presents and lastly; my birthday. Some would dread having a birthday so close to Christmas but I didn’t mind. There were more gifts and more to celebrate. However year after year, no one could seem to give me the ultimate Christmas gift. The one I’d been patiently waiting for, for years. Where, oh where...when, oh when will this dear thing I’ve lost, return to me?”

Y/N:

It’s going to be a tough one. Of course, they warned me of such things. Everyone did, even my own father. The half-assed grin he showed me this morning was enough to down my spirits, not that I’d ever let him know that. 

With my block heels clicking as I walked up the stone stairs, my nerves were starting to get the best of me. I felt hot flashes hitting different parts of my body, and I regretted the thick black and white blazer I wore. Under the blazer, I wore a long-sleeve black blouse and some crimson red dress pants with flare bottoms. 

My slim leather briefcase was slung over my shoulder by its longer strap and my cell phone was tucked snug in my pants pocket. 

As if a higher power heard my cry, a gust of cold wind hit me, pushing my blazer open a bit. A small smile pulled at the corner of my lips, and I thanked the cold November air that was washing away the nervous sweats that were accumulating on my forehead. 

The stairs weren’t that long, but it still felt like it was teetering on being too much. There were three sets of square double doors, the middle one being the larger one. 

There were 4 guards, all standing guard with frowns on their lips. One of them spotted me, raising an eyebrow at me before his lips pulled up into a smile.

“Open the doors!” He shouts to the other guards, “It’s just Y/n.” He holds eye contact with me the whole time he’s announcing my presence to the other guards. 

His eyes rank down my body, the lust in his eyes making no attempts at being subtle. I’m not in a mood to muster up a forced but polite smile. I only nod, watching as two other guards open the doors.

“Everyone said you were starting today.” The first guard said, taking a small step closer to me.

“Are they?” I spoke with no interest, “I didn’t think I’d be the talk of the palace.”

“Of course you are!” He chimes flashing a toothy grin, “Everyone is excited to see you go toe-to-toe with His Highness, Prince Taehyung.”

I rolled my eyes at his words, “I’m not here to go toe-to-toe with His Highness, I’m here to do a job.” I stated, taking a small step back to put more space between us. He smelt of cheap cologne, old spice deodorant, and breath mints. 

My face cringed in a reaction as he opened his mouth to speak again, but I cut him off. 

“You really shouldn’t be gossiping about the royal family, they can fire you for breathing too hard so tread lightly and know your place.” I scolded, noticing the stain on his white dress shirt, and the way his in-ear radio was carelessly clipped to his shirt. 

Ugh, he’s a complete mess. 

“Serious about your work, just like your father, I expected just as much. See you around Y/n.” He said winking at me before grinning again.

My face scrunched up in discomfort before I took swift steps towards the opened doors into the huge high ceiling entrance way of the palace. The white walls accompanied by some white pillars are a sight to marvel at. The hard marble floor has beautiful gold designs while a long strip of a thick and fiery red carpet was laid out.

Anyone would stop to stare at the marvelous architecture and atmosphere but I strolled right through, having seen the inside of the palace many times. 

My middle school and early high school days were filled with after school days in the palace, trailing behind my father silently, observing and taking mental notes of everything he did.

My father has been The current King, Kim Taejoon’s advisor since before I was born. He was originally his Majesty’s consult, a temporary advisor for Prince’s during the process of coronation and marriage pursuing. 

He assisted His majesty in preparing for his coronation to King. He was also there in assisting with the finding of a bride, who is now Her Majesty Queen Kim Minji, previously Park Minji of the Busan kingdom. 

Through that marriage, The Kingdom of Seoul, which was previously the Daegu kingdom before expansion, controlled the most kingdoms of all the rulers. This made it so Gangwon-do was the only province not under The Kim’s Royal family and their monarchy. Gangwon-do neighbors the Seoul province which is home to the Royal palace.

The Gangwon-do province is under the Min Royal family, who were the rulers of the Daegu Kingdom before The Kim family came into power. The history is messy and a bit ugly, so it’s understandable that the Min Royal family sees no possibility of the two families merging. 

King Taejoon and Queen Minji had 2 children, a son, and a daughter, though not much is known about their children. Unlike other royal families, ever since the rule of King Taesung(The current King’s father), the children of the royal family are kept out of the spotlight till a certain age. 

His Highness Prince Taehyung’s face wasn’t known to the public till he was 19 years old. He’s turning 25 next month and I can’t say the country knows much about him. I’d only seen him in passing when I was tailing my father in the palace. He didn’t speak much, often showing scoffs or sadistic smirks in reply to things. But it doesn’t matter what I think of him, it matters what the Kingdom thinks of him.

I was assigned to Prince Taehyung’s consultation, and if I do well, I could be assigned his advisor. I’d be set with a wonderful job and wonderful pay for life. 

A lot of friends ask me why I settled on such a career, seeing as Royal advisors have no social life and basically have their whole lives revolve around their royal client. I’ve seen that first hand, watching my dad miss family events, birthdays, and important milestones in my life.

Though the lack of his presence has caused us to grow distant, I can’t say I’m mad at him. I sort of wish I resented him but from the moment I was born, my father was always all about the royal family. I never had any other expectations.

My father has nothing to do with my decision to take this career path, and I can’t pinpoint what the turning point was, but the royal family interested me. 

“I know it’s easy to say everyone is human and though that is true, never put yourself on the same playing field as royals.” My father says sternly, “They are not your equals, and will never be. They look at common people like us through a lens of constant pity and obligation.”

I stare up at him, my 15-year-old mind not fully understanding the heaviness of his words. 

“Never mistake their kindness for fondness, I have seen first hand the royals believe they owe loyalty to no one, not even their own people.”

Those are words my father has drilled into me since I told him I wanted to pursue this field of work. A consultant's job is to not be seen and to barely be heard. I understand, and that may have worked with His Majesty Taejoon, but Prince Taehyung is another case.

I know my place. I am a commoner, an obligation to the royal family but I am going to my job well. I will not spare Prince Taehyung’s feelings. If in the presence of those who look down on me as having nothing...I’ll make sure to retain my honesty. 

At the end of the entryway stands a familiar figure. Her hair slicked back just like mine, but flowing down her back into a nice ponytail. 

She wore all black; her blazer, her blouse and the pencil skirt were all black. Her heels were even black, with red bottoms making an appearance with the slightest foot movements. Her pink painted lips stretched into a friendly smile and I smiled back.

“Michelle, it’s so good to see you!” I say as I get closer to her. She opens her arms and pulls me into a hug. I wasn’t really prepared for it, but I returned anyway. 

She smelt of a heavy fragrance that was also pulling my senses into a tight hug. As we pulled back from the hug, I readjusted the briefcase hanging from my shoulder. 

“I knew with your father’s recommendation, you would be His Majesty’s choice for Prince Taehyung’s consultation. He said something about, a young person such as yourself would understand the Prince well.” She chuckles at the statement, her eyes scrunching closed to show some crows feet. 

Michelle is youthful for her age, though I don’t know exactly how old she is, she has been the Queen’s advisor since I could remember. She says her youthful appearance is due to her constant smiling. She was so different from my father in her methods. 

Unlike my father who was stiff and often aloof to His Majesty’s attempts in establishing a friendship, Michelle was more like girl pals with Her Majesty. Michelle was always smiling and radiating a kind aura, just like the Queen. 

Though it could be that a Queen’s duties differ from a King’s duties. That doesn’t mean Michelle’s job isn’t tough. She studied the history of South Korea, along with extensive political studies. She needs to know everyone and everything, since she would be advising her Majesty. 

It must have been harder for her, since she isn’t native to South Korea; maybe that’s why we relate to each other so well.

But the studying for such a job never stops. We must always keep up with things changing around the world, and how they could affect South Korea. It’s a job that requires you to change along with the times, leaving barely any time for something else. 

“I can’t be certain if I could understand him, but I’ll do my best to assist him.” I answered, straightening out my blazer. 

“I’m sure you will, the coronation process is always so hectic, so I wish you the best of luck. His highness is gonna be tough to mold.” She whispers, before waving her hand for me to follow her. I stroll right next to her, knowing exactly where we were headed. 

This whole wing of the palace is strictly political. As we exited the entryway, the hallway we were walking through almost acted as a balcony, giving a preview of the large ballroom that was the center of this wing.

We took a turn to a completely walled hallway. We were headed to the executive conference room. That’s how it always happens. It’s nearing December and the royal family meets to sort through the plans for the coming year. 

“How is it going?” I asked as we turned another corner, the walls now a rich creme color with gold details and gold light fixtures.

She kisses her teeth, “Not so well, Prince Taehyung is less than enthusiastic about this stage of his life. His Majesty is usually pretty lenient with the Prince since he shows potential in his political plans for the kingdom, but the two are butting heads.”

“Why is that?” 

Michelle sighs, “His Highness feels like his father is rushing the process, and if it feels rushed and forced the general public will be more reluctant to accept him.”

Well...that makes sense. I don’t have to say anything for Michelle to look at me with a pressed smirk.

“Exactly.” She said when she held my gaze, “Prince Taehyung isn’t stupid he’s just difficult.”

“It would have made things easier if he was an airhead.” I said under my breath. Michelle giggles as she catches wind of my words.

“It’s easier to mold stupid.” She muttered in agreeance as we came to a heavy looking door, guarded by too many men in white dress shirts and black slacks. 

They gave both of us a nod of acknowledgement then Michelle stepped forward and opened the door. I followed in behind her, a wave of goosebumps hitting my skin at the difference in temperature. The room was a bit colder than the hallway, leaving my body to react.

Why would they have the AC so high? It’s November for goodness sake.

She gently closes the door behind her and comes to stand beside me. We stood near the door, waiting for a time to introduce our presence.

“That’s such a shallow approach.” A deep voice said. The room was wide, and long but the ceilings weren’t too high. There were no windows and the walls were alder wood panels. In the middle of the room was a large rectangular table that stretched out. There were many seats at the table but right now there were only a few people.

His Majesty King Taejoon sat at the head of the table. Sitting to his right was the Queen. Beside the Queen was a lovely young lady. Princess Cho-hee sat there in sweats. She looks like she was dragged out of bed. Seeing as It’s 9am on a Saturday, I can understand her carelessness. 

Her eyes were glued to her phone and she wasn’t tuning in to the conversation at all. 

Sitting to the left of King Taejoon was who I presumed to be Prince Taehyung. From where we were standing, the King was directly facing us, so I could see Prince Taehyung’s profile. 

He leaned back in the chair, his arms crossed over his chest in a bored manner. He stared up at the ceiling and wasn’t looking at the King as he spoke.

His hair was black and a bit long. His bangs were almost in his eyes, but not enough to obscure his sight. His hair had curls in it, so I’d say it was permed. He had strong features, looking a lot more like his father than his mother. 

He wore a white shirt with a grey cardigan. His fingers were graced with some rings and his hands were also so pretty. He oozes high class and wealth. 

“Excuse me?” King Taejoon responds.

The Prince looked at his father, a dull and bored expression in his eyes.

“You claim that you want to mend things with the Min family, by forming an allyship with them. I agree with that. But through marriage?” 

“You just don’t want to get married.” His Majesty argued. 

Taehyung smiled, nodding his head, “That’s partially correct, but I’m looking at the bigger picture. Mending things with the Min family through marriage is lazy.” 

The room grew heavy as the Prince’s sharp tone didn’t match the smirk on his lips. 

“Marrying the Min Family’s princess doesn’t actually resolve anything. Why are we all dancing around the issues with the Min family and their kingdom? It’ll be a slap in the face to them to try to fix things through marriage.” 

“What do you suggest, son?” The King raised an eyebrow at Taehyung. His tone revealed true curiosity, but his face showed doubt. He wasn’t sure what the Prince was going to suggest, seeing as the history with the Min Kingdom is a rough one.

“We need to find a place and time to discuss things. We’ll probably have to involve the United Nations. A formal apology needs to be issued to them, followed by a plan that will show growth for both Kingdoms. It’ll be a long road but it’s better than an allyship formed by marriage.” Taehyung says, followed by a yawn. 

“Can you guarantee success?” The Queen suddenly speaks up, looking at both her husband and son. Her fiery eyes didn’t give anything away. That’s one thing the Queen was always good at. Her eyes were always kind and sweet no matter the situation, but I’m certain her thoughts were racing. 

“No, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they spit in our faces,” Prince Taehyung says confidently. He fiddles with the rings on his fingers while pondering. 

“It’s most likely they’d spit in our faces either way. We can’t be surprised. We’re cleaning up grandpa’s mess.” Prince Taehyung says it casually but an audible gasp sounds through the room. It almost felt like the room got colder and a miserable stillness fell over the room. 

I was almost scared to breathe too loudly. Everyone except for Prince Taehyung had gotten visibly stiff. Princess Cho-hee even stopped to look up from her phone. Her eyes started around the faces at the table. 

His Majesty, the King, was staring at his son with harsh and surprised eyes. Prince was unaware, still focusing on his rings.

Prince Taehyung’s grandfather….King Taesung. A true tyrant. I shivered at the thought of the man, hoping Michelle didn’t notice. 

Prince Taehyung’s Grandfather King Taesung started off as commander and chief for the Daegu Kingdom when it was under the Min family’s rule. 

The path taken to bring the Kim family to the power they have now was an awful one. Overtaking the Min family and gaining rule of Daegu. The Min family fled Gangwon-do, a province that was also under their rule. Over the years King Taesung conquered more and more provinces. After conquering the Seoul province they moved the capital from Daegu to Seoul and called it the Seoul Republic of South Korea.

King Taesung made no attempt to conquer Gangwon-do, leaving the Min family in power of the province to this day. King Taesung was an awful ruler. Harsh, demanding and cold hearted. He struck fear into the people, and only craved power. 

I never met him before he died, only heard of him through history books and from my father. My father became King Taejoon’s consult while the kingdom was still under Kim Taesung’s rule. My father often spoke of how no warmth could be felt from that man. 

His presence commanded respect and he carried his authority on his shoulders. Under his rule, the economy did...okay. There was no growth and most of the population lived middle class lives. King Taesung did not care about the options of his people. The people had no trust in the Kim royal family.

Those who spoke ill of King Taesung would be jailed or worse. He severed alliances with other countries, removing all of the Seoul Republic of South Korea. The Gangwon-do Republic of South Korea stayed a part of the United Nations, having them gain support from America, France and more. 

King Taesung’s thirst for power weakened the country in the long run. 

They try to speak as little of him as possible. Not only for the sake of the politicians, but for King Taejoon. Though it’s never been confirmed, it’s said that King Taesung was very abusive to his children. 

I whole-heartedly believe the only reason my father let me shadow him starting in high school was because King Taesung died a few months before that.

King Taejoon has been doing his best to regain the people’s trust in the Kim family and undo the damage his father created. The Seoul Republic of Korea has mended their ties with many other countries and are now part of the United Nations again.

Under King Taejoon’s rule, the economy soared and the people were doing better. Things are going well, but there is an underlying panic among the general public. 

The public barely knows Prince Taehyung and are worried if they’ll land themselves another tyrant King.

“What?” Prince Taehyung said after looking up from his hands. He looked at his mother and father, his perplexed facial expression proving that he truly didn’t feel the shift in the air.

“You’re such an idiot!” His sister hisses at him. 

The Prince shows a playful smile to his sister before turning his attention back to his father.

“I am not going to be married off as a deal to keep peace but grandpa was an autocrat.” Taehyung adds before turning his attention back to his rings. He fiddles with them, randomly adjusting them while everyone else is left with the tense atmosphere caused by his words.

I took in a deep breath through my nose, knowing that his plainspoken attitude would be left for me to deal with. 

As if he hadn’t noticed us before, the King holds eye contact with me. His eyes grow wide with excitement, and he glances at his son. Taehyung was still occupied by his rings, now moving onto the watch on his wrist. 

“What do you think Ms. L/n?” He asks me as a small smile appears on his lips. I wasn’t expecting him to ask my opinion. I should be honest right? 

My eyes flicker to Prince Taehyung who was no longer looking at his watch. His eyes were on me. He still looked bored but his body language changed. He leaned back on arm rest on the chair so his body was facing my way. 

I held eye contact with him for a moment, moving my attention back to the King. But not quickly enough to miss the way Prince Taehyung’s eyes moved down my body. 

“Your Majesty, you’d like my opinion on the Min family matter?” I clarify. 

The King nods, “Yes! And just call me Mr. Kim. I’ve known your father for too long for all these formalities.” 

“I believe…” I trail off, moving my eyes back to Prince Taehyung who was now staring at me with narrow eyes. He no longer looked bored. He looked like he was waiting to meet my eyes again. When our eyes met he raised his brows swiftly as if to tease me.

Ugh. There he goes. I heard he likes to act like that. When I was briefed on the Prince’s general behavior, I was warned he likes to flirt to distract from his work. He flirts as if to show that he takes nothing seriously. He’s a jokester in some ways and oddly overserious in others. That’ll be no problem for me to deal with. 

I can’t lie, he’s a very beautiful man, but none of that matters. I’m only here for a job. Pointless flirting and teasing from Prince Taehyung is just something that comes with the job. I hope he doesn’t take me for a woman that can be swayed by looks. My father raised me stronger than that. 

“I believe that Prince Taehyung is right,” I look back to the King, “The method of mending ties with the Min Royal family is going to need more than a marital union. It would be seen as a shallow and lazy approach by the Min family.” I answered honestly, ignoring the small grin that appeared on Prince Taehyung’s face. 

He turns to the King, “Do you believe it now that a consultant said it?” The grin now held a sinister undertone. 

The King ignores the question and waves me forward. Michelle leaves her spot beside me and makes her way to stand by the Queen. I walk the other way and walk till I am standing beside his Majesty, putting me between him and Prince Taehyung.

I left some space so I wasn’t too close to them, adjusting my briefcase strap on my shoulder. The King shows me a wide smile.

“I’m so glad to see you Y/n! I would always see you following behind your father and here you are! You’re going to by consulting my son! Oh how time flies.” He said. Prince Taehyung, who couldn’t keep his eyes off me, was now reaching into his pocket to grab his phone. He started scrolling through text messages. 

Ugh, rude.

“Taehyung, this is Y/n! I told you she would be your consultant! She knows her stuff and I believe she’ll help you over the next year.”

He was fiercely typing something, and I heard the phone as he pressed ended and sent a text message. Before his father could yell at him to pay attention, he was looking up at me. 

“Yeah, I remember you telling me.” He answers his father while holding eye contact with me. He had a playful glint in his eyes.

“Does she know the schedule?” He turns back to his father. 

“I’m certain she does. Y/n is always on top of things.” The King looks at me expectantly. I notice the Queen also watching me with a small smile. 

I didn’t expect the King and Queen to act so familiar with me. I’d only see them in passing when I was shadowing my father. Though I remember my father speaking often of how close King Taejoon always attempted to get. 

He called my father his friend, very often.

 “Yes,” I answer, noticing now that everyone’s attention was on me. 

“His Highness Prince Taehyung turns 25 next month, he will be having a celebration and his Majesty will announce the succession. The coronation is next year in September. Prince Taehyung should have the proper studies and traditions complete by then. He is also expected to be engaged by December next year.” I explained, looking at both Prince Taehyung, the Queen and the King.

The only one smiling was the King. He nodded his head confirming that I was right. 

“Y/n?” The Queen’s smooth voice called out. I looked at her, waiting for her comment. 

She leaned forward a bit, “Do you believe you will be able to meet those deadlines?” She wasn’t doubting me, but the look in her eyes asked a different question.

My son is difficult, are you sure you can handle him?

“Certainly.” I answered confidently. 

“All this talk of engagement is pointless! I already have a person in mind!” Taehyung exclaimed, causing his mother and his sister to roll their eyes.

“You’ve been saying that forever!” His sister contends, “We know you’re lying! Stop trying to stall on things.” His sister looks at me.

“Don’t entertain him on that notion. He doesn’t have anyone in mind. He’s been pulling my parents legs for a few months, hoping to stall the process.” She explains glaring at her older brother. 

Prince Taehyung abruptly turns to me, surprising me as he took one of my hands in both of his. 

“Marry me?” He said breathlessly, his eyes wide and twinkling. 

I stare down at him, not amused or moved. 

I gaze down at him for a moment, sure that the annoyance I’m feeling is visible on my face. 

A scoff sounds from Cho-hee. The princess grins, “She didn’t even blink. She’s not moved at all.” 

Prince Taehyung drops my hand, the dreamy look in his eyes fading.

“Your heart wasn’t stirred?” He asked.

“No.” I answer.

“Not even a bit? Your heart didn’t skip a beat?” 

“No, your highness..” I answer.

Cho-hee snickers, “Yeah Tae, not every woman wants a prince to sweep them off their feet.” Cho-hee looks at me again, eager to share something. 

“He also asked the 52 year old pastry chef to marry him.” She informs me. 

I’m sure he did. 

“And that random female bodyguard.” The Queen added. 

Cho-hee leans over to her mother, “He sees no significance in marriage or love. You gave birth to a robot mom.” I noticed Michelle, who was silent behind the Queen, stifled a giggle.

Cho-hee whispered loud enough for everyone to hear causing Prince Taehyung to snap back.

“And you’re a gremlin so I guess mom was giving birth to all types of weird things!”

Cho-hee gasps, “Take that back!” 

Their banter becomes background noise as the King asks for my attention again.

“Y/n, please take good care of my son.” He says in a low voice. 

“Of course.” I bowed slightly, glancing at The Prince Taehyung who was back to scrolling on his phone. 

I don’t have much more to say to him, but rather turn to Michelle. 

“I’ll show you where your office is.” Michelle says kindly. I nod, make my move to follow her. I stop short and look at Prince Taehyung again.

“I look forward to working for you, your highness.” I bow slightly. Prince Taehyung looks my way. I watch his eyes move from my face and down to my...chest? No...my neck. He glances at my neck and back up to my eyes.

“Flattery doesn’t work on me.” He mutters, and stares at his phone screen.

“Thankfully, I am here to do a job, not win you over.” I say sternly. 

Fuck! I shouldn’t have said that! He gawks at me with wide eyes, surprised by my comment, while Princess Cho-hee covers her mouth with her hand to keep from laughing. 

The King simply watches our interaction silently with the Queen smirks. 

I bow once more before walking around the table to get to Michelle waiting patiently at the door. 

“That was a bit too far.” She said as we exited the room, “Your father--”

“My father’s methods are not my methods.” I cut her off, “I won’t let him walk all over me. My father was too passive. I am not.”

❄...❄...❄...❄...❄

So, how are y’all feeling about this? So, idk how long i want this series to be. according to my outline its gonna be 12 parts but i never stick to my outline. Please let me know what you think! :DD

This story is gonna have a lot of world building and a lot of information (Kingdoms, history, politics), so please PLEASE if you are confused about anything, ask me in the inbox!

#bts #bts scenarios #bts ff #bts fanfic #bts angst #bts fluff #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #Jung HoSeok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #bangtan #kim taehyung x reader #taehyung x reader #bts royal au

[hekatekun]

Missed Opportunities: a look at 246 dynamics

This will be covering the relationships between Karamatsu, Ichimatsu, and Todomatsu. Specifically how they could be "better off" but for reasons aren't. Not blmatsu. A long post, but not particularly in depth. The great thing about Osomatsu-san is that things can be as serious as you want them to be; take all this with a grain of salt.

I would say the defining trait between 246 is that there is a lot of "missed opportunity" or "what could have been." You know, “things didn’t have to be this way.” More specifically, this is Karamatsu's relationship with the other two. Not that this cannot be remedied, but for now nothing is happening. Not any time soon, either. Probably. These aren’t shortcomings they’ll be getting over soon. Interestingly enough, I might have even said this was also applicable to 110 up until recently - so let's start there.

110MATSU: Something of a moving arc going here. Season 1 they’re at their most antagonistic towards each other, with their more docile moments occurring later in the season (most notably the hunt for 123 inside Dayon). Ichimatsu particularly, as Todomatsu has never been one to pick fights. He’s vindictive and isn’t afraid of confrontation, but doesn’t mean he wants to stick his neck out. Ichimatsu, on the other hand, has no qualms being aggressive. He will double-down on embarrassing the fuck out of Totty (as he should). If there is one thing the hivemind has taught all of them, it’s that no brother is above the other, and everyone will equally be dragged back to this self-made hell.

So S1 is the season of “no mercy,” but we see a shift! “ESP Kitty” lays Ichimatsu’s secret in front of everyone: vulnerability. Todomatsu (and 135) sees him like the normie he is for the first time in a real good light, a permanent change. Effectively, by “Dayon Tribe,” this lack of aggression when 456 are left to their own devices becomes a staple of the trio (if we ignore Jyushimatsu’s winter-induced insanity). 

In this same timeframe, Ichimatsu gets a real understanding of just how ruthless the crybaby youngest brother is. And by S2 they realize they have a lot more in common than they realized. A certain self-awareness that certain others lack. Totty could easily be lumped in with suiriku as a tryhard who doesn’t know when to quit, but it becomes apparent this isn’t the case. Sure, Totty’s a tryhard - he craves positive attention and will do what he can to get it, but he’ll never reach the level of Karamatsu and Choromatsu. 110 doesn’t need to “impress” each other. Completely vibing. They prefer each other’s company (and Jyushimatsu’s) over the other 3. They’re not each other’s favorite, by a long shot, but S2 they seem more comfortable around each other.

The movie provides a bit of catalyst, and S3 seems keen on keeping it apart of the continuity, so it’s not far fetched to assume their bonding moment in the movie is what led to their current relationship in S3. An ally has been established, and they can be more honest around each other as a result.

What’s “missed opportunity” is that they both underestimated the other, and what they have now could have been achieved earlier in life. Better late than never! However, they both still suck at communicating, but for now battling with barbed words or getting wrapped up in whatever holds their attention still shows they’re (usually) on the same wavelength.

ZAIMOKUMATSU: If Totty is similar to Ichi, it's not surprising he holds to same distaste for Karamatsu. Theoretically speaking, they should be each other's "brother." It's obvious that Choromatsu and Osomatsu are a "duo," and same with Ichimatsu and Jyushimatsu. Whether you wanna include Oso-kun or not, it's evident that they do not click the same way the others do with their “designated brother.” 

Oso-kun makes it more “angsty” though, or at least makes this reboot interesting. If Zaimoku was more established as children, this clearly isn't carried to their adult selves. That's just life. They fell apart, growing up, and letting time split them naturally. They still like each other, hang out, but there's no real spark there. How can you when one of you refuses to break character. You could say they're similar to Nenchuu, preferring each other's company only in the greater group dynamic. We’ve established they're both tryhards, but Todomatsu has the self-awareness to know when to drop his pretenses, and doesn't understand Karamatsu's more irrational quirks. Sure, tryhards try hard but they're brothers - they already know each other. No need to impress. For Karamatsu’s part of it, I would say it’s both “always needing to be on top of his public image no matter who sees him (including brothers)” and just... He wants to dress like that. So painful.

Todomatsu’s “fatal flaw” within the group is that he’s quite disconnected from the hivemind. This a repeated issue they address, from “Todomatsu & the 5 Demons” to “Todomatsu’s Line.” He doesn’t understand certain social conventions that “make no sense” from experience. For instance, “Todomatsu’s Line” addresses how secretive he is, but he’s only secretive because he knows if he told them about his life they wouldn’t care. They’re only getting on his ass because he’s pulling away from them. The 6 of them are “all or nothing,” so even just one brother leaving is detrimental to their weird inner-brother politics. It gets rid of the facade they perform under, and must confront reality as a result. And so, they punish him accordingly. We know Karamatsu is already the group punching bag, and Totty soon joins him.

S3E5 “Well, Yeah” with these 2 fighting over the cashier, Karamatsu is willing to challenge him because he considers Todomatsu "harmless." Karamatsu is easily intimidated, we know this, but holds none of those sentiments towards Totty. They're both petty crybabies, and would rather tear each other down than team up.

Zaimoku is amiable with each other (for the most part), but typically avoid each other - or at least wouldn't seek the other out if it can be helped. A simple mismatch. Good thing they have 4 other brothers.

So, they're both the bottom of the barrel, and yet they never have each other's back. As with all 6, they’re self-serving. There’s safety in numbers, and they’re better off joining 4 than defending 1. They have created an environment that punishes whoever wanted to be the bigger man. In the most literal sense: nice guys finish last around these parts.

I could keep going. Todomatsu being banished to sea for a whole skit, Todomatsu being fired from the family, the entirety of the Karamatsu Incident. No one’s safe, but truly Zaimoku sits at the lowest tiers, even in the family. 

Leftovers who don't even want to pick each other. Can't blame them, they're both insufferable. They don't respect each other, either. 236 is committed to personas that they think will make people like them. They all more or less hold the belief of “I’m not like these guys, I’m better.” However, Choromatsu genuinely likes Karamatsu. Totty does not. How could he when all he sees is a cringey dude who doesn’t know when to call it quits? Choromatsu is just as bad, and doesn't really consider Karamatsu anything but "harmless."

Being left alone and behind is the worst thing for them, but yet they still don’t want each other, even if they’re “clearly the easiest choice.” That sense of being the “default” choice, rather than a legitimate connection or personalities that get along. Another similarity to Nenchuu, where they’re better off being friends than not out of convenience.

IROMATSU: Take what I just said about Zaimoku and amplify the negativity. Rather than a natural falling out, it is a repeated violent rejection on Ichimatsu's part. It's genuine animosity, because Ichimatsu hates tryhards who lack self-awareness. It's no surprise he doesn't care for Suiriku's company and, until recently, Todomatsu's. The thing is, Ichimatsu is a tryhard. He tried hard in high school, and, though in the opposite direction (”I’m not like these guys, I’m worse”), continues to try hard now.

Concerning Karamatsu, he is equal parts resentful and envious. If the movie implies they used to be friends around high school, it wouldn't surprise me if he resented Karamatsu's "transformation" because Ichi was unable to get over his own issues ("regressing" after high school, though really considering how taxing it was to keep that up he’s probably been burnt out). So yeah, introvert buddies.

He admitted to Choromatsu he finds those who still try even in the face of failure "scary." Ichimatsu's greatest fear is putting himself out there and still being rejected despite his best efforts. That's, again, just how life works, but it's a valid fear to have. 

Seeing Karamatsu, someone he considers legitimately stupid, still put his best foot forward (probably on some level) does feel like a slap in the face. It's also just. Painful. Another cringeass clueless older brother, another ally lost.

(Also I can’t ignore how it’s Osomatsu - one of Ichi’s favorites/most tolerable brothers - is the one who calls Karamatsu’s support “teasing” after claiming himself Ichi would kill his own boss; Osomatsu knows how to talk to each brother in a way they’ll understand)

The difference between Zaimoku and Iro is that the former is always played off as joking and while the latter is still funny and over-exaggerated, it usually also comes across as “Did this cross a line?” It tips into real malevolence because, not only does Ichimatsu act opposite how he feels (except for cats), but even in comedy there’s always a hint of sincerity. They’re all cartoonishly violent, but that comes with the idea that that’s actually how they feel in some form. Ichimatsu can’t handle direct support and attention, and he certainly wouldn’t want it from a guy whose social anxiety is worse than his.

And throughout all this, Karamatsu just... ignores it. He doesn't get it, he probably wouldn't even want to know. He legitimately wants to be like this, and doesn’t really get how others don’t find it as attractive (like how Choromatsu doesn’t get why talking about his aspirations isn’t wanted in conversation - they’re not really ones to read the room when it comes to their own shortcomings). So he "avoids" 110. No point seeking out their company and be rejected for "no reason." He doesn't want criticism, and none of them want communication. I should reiterate, this is all comedy. It’s funny. I love it! But it’s slapstick with thought. 

Short-sighted, they prioritize instant gratification above anything else. The end result, unsurprisingly, is a group of brothers who find it impossible to talk to each other - to bully and harass - when they could do better for one another.

#osomatsu san #karamatsu #ichimatsu #todomatsu #karamatsu matsuno #ichimatsu matsuno #todomatsu matsuno #iromatsu #110matsu #zaimokumatsu #analysis

[leminione9795]

Just out of curiosity, why would Jimin who is the dongsaeng in his friend group then refer to his older friends as friends if they're not the same age but he wouldn't refer to Jungkook as his friend? I remember him saying all of his friends were older than him except Taehyung so he included Taehyung in there so he lumped Tae in with his outside BTS friend group. How can Jimin as a dongsaeng call his outside BTS older friends friends but can't call another dongsaeng in another group of friends friend? Jimin's reason for mentioning all of that was him making the point that the age thing didn't matter to him. Not sure how to explain this better. Also Jimin and Jungkook were paired up for a photoshoot last year I think for seasons greetings and their concept according to Jungkook was 'Two friends who came from Busan together' but it was actually how he/they interpreted the 'Adaptation' concept that was the name for their photoshoot. Is Jungkook being the dongsaeng mean he's allowed to call them friends?

(Warning: super long explanation post ahead)

Hi!

You must be referring to what I commented on this post. I admit it wasn’t nearly as thorough as it could’ve been, and I completely understand how you might be confused. 

So I think I should make a few things clear.

First, having a friendship with someone and calling them chingu are two different things in Korea. 

Second, the word ‘chingu’ has many layers to it. In the vlive in question, Jimin used the word in at least two different ways. 

Let’s break down the first point. 

In the reblog I deliberately used the words ‘friend’ and ‘chingu’ separately because there can be different connotations to each word. 

The dictionary definition of friend and chingu can be the same. But in colloquial usage, chingu has implications that, as far as I know, friend doesn’t. (And vice versa, of course. I’m not trying to say Korean words have more rich meaning or whatever.) One of those implications is that people who are chingu are of the same age. This is so so so important. You can have friends who are older/younger than you, but Koreans usually don’t refer to them as chingu. We use the adjective ‘친하다 [chinhada]’ which means ‘close’, and call these people ‘chinhan unnie’ ‘chinhan oppa’ ‘chinhan hyung’ ‘chinhan dongsaeng’ ‘chinhan hoobae’ etc. 

Now, it can get rather bothersome to call all these friends of varying statuses differently. Sometimes you don’t really want to specify your friend’s gender or age for whatever reason. Sometimes it just isn’t important. Sometimes simply implying they’re someone you have a friendship with is enough. So you just say chingu. It’s not common, but not rare either. 

For example, let’s say you’re a woman who are good friends with a man who is a couple years older and also went to college with you, and you want to tell a 3rd person who doesn’t know this person a funny story that you heard from him. You can refer to this guy friend in countless different ways - a sunbae I know (아는 선배), an oppa I know (아는 오빠), a close sunbae (친한 선배), a close oppa (친한 오빠), a sunbae from college (대학교 때 선배), etc. Or you can just say, my chingu told me this story. It not *impolite*, since you really are friends with him (as in, you have a close enough friendship with him), and you’re not calling him chingu (as in, someone who’s the same age) to his face. 

Even still, you don’t usually go calling this person your chingu in front of him. You wouldn’t introduce him as your chingu to other people. Does this mean he’s not your friend? No. 

(Similarly, calling someone your chingu doesn’t automatically mean you’re actual buddies. You may hear Koreans say ludicrous things like, oh he’s my chingu but we’re not that close. In this case chingu doesn’t mean friend in the literal sense, it most likely means they were just classmates.)

To sum up, you can have a friendship with people of any age but you can’t call all of them your chingu, especially if the age gap is big (*). However, you can still categorize them and refer to them as chingu in for convenience’s or privacy’s sake. 

(*This really depends on the individual, but I’d personally say plus or minus 2 years your age can be safely considered peers. If the other person is old/young enough to be your parent/child, then you don’t call them chingu, period. You just don’t.)

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Now on to the second point!

I went back to rewatch the vlive where Jimin mentioned having older friends, and to a native Korean it’s pretty obvious he’s using the word chingu extremely liberally. 

I've pulled some examples from the vid and added transcripts in both Korean and English, since the vlive subs can be misleading at times.

(talking about his frequent arguments with V)

저희가 이게 친구라서 그런지 여러분들도 친구가 있다면 이거에 공감하실 거예요 희한하게 되게 자존심을 부리게 되고 알겠어, 혹은 미안해, 고마우면 고마워 이렇게 하면 되는 얘기를 이게 선뜻 입 밖으로 잘 안 나와요

It's probably because we are chingu You guys will agree if you have chingu You become too proud to say things like Okay, or I'm sorry, thank you You should just say these things But they don't come out easily

Here chingu can mean either just friend or friends of the same age. I personally took it as the latter, because in the broader sense Jimin is friends with all BTS members. The fact that he's attributing his conflicts with V specifically to them being chingu, proves that chingu here doesn't mean any other person who you have a friendship with, it explicitly means friend of the same age.

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(talking about V being his only same-age friend)

그러다 보니까 어느새 나랑 동갑내기 내 친구는 사실 이제 어떻게 보면 저는 여기 사회생활 하려고 이렇게 서울에 올라오고 내 동갑내기 첫 친구이자 지금까지 거의 유일한 친구예요 서울에 올라와서 왜냐면 친구들이 생겼을 때도 다 형들이었고 그렇게 생각해 보니, 앞으로는 또 뭐 친구 생기고 할 순 있겠지만 어쨌든 내 동갑내기 친구가 친구랑 이런 스토리와 이런 추억이 있는 친구는 아마 태형이가 앞으로도 거의 유일하겠죠

So as far as same-age chingu go... In a sense, when I came here to Seoul to work [V] was my first same-age chingu and, to this day, is my only chingu since I came to Seoul Because when I made chingu they were all hyungs So from that perspective, I might have more chingu in the future But in any case, as for same-age chingu, a chingu that I share these stories and memories with Taehyung will probably continue to be the only one

So this is the part that caused all this confusion. Here Jimin uses chingu in two different ways. The first one is to specifically mean same-age friend, and the second is to mean just friend in general, as in a person you have a friendship with. I marked the first usage in red and the second usage in blue. If Jimin used the word chingu just in the second meaning, this whole speech would make absolutely no sense. Jimin has become friends with many people outside of BTS, including people that are older than him, but he's saying that V has a special place in his life namely because they're of the same age.

Being of the same age with someone else is special in Korea. It means you can be comfortable with that person from the get go without regards to societal rules imposed by the age hierarchy. Your horizontal interpersonal distance can be either far or close, but there is literally no vertical distance. You are on the same level as them, you're equals. It's expected that, in a group of people of varying ages, you would make friends with the person that's the same age as you are before anyone else, because of that lack of vertical distance and barrier of formalities.

Which is why the next part stood out so much.

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(talking about age not being an important factor in cultivating friendships)

"동갑내기 친구가 짱이죠" 사실, 사실 뭐 제가 나이를 많이 먹은 것도 아니고 제가 오래 살아 온 것도 아니고 인생 선배들한테 막 이렇게 떠들 얘기는 아니지만 나이는 별로 중요하지 않은 것 같아요 나이는 별로 안 중요해요 이게 요즘에 제가 느끼는 거는 저보다 나이가 많은 사람들도 다 너무 생각하는 것도 되게 영하고 뭐라 해야 되지, 대화가 너무 자연스럽다 해야 되나 그래서 막 제 친구 중에는 열몇살 차이 나는 친구도 있고 그렇거든요 그냥 말 놓고. 예. 저는 그런 친구가 있어요 전화해서 형 빨리 오라고. 아 조용히 하라고. 이런 친구가 저는 있어요. 그래서 저는 나이는 별로 중요한 것 같지 않아요.

"Same-age friends are the best" (*a fan's chat message) Well, I mean I'm not that old, I haven't lived that long So it's not something I can go on about in front of elders (*meaning, elder people might think it's quite forward of him to say this in front of them) But I don't think age is that important Age isn't really important These days, I feel like People who are older than me all think very young And, how should I put this, like the conversation flows so naturally So among my chingu, there's even a chingu who is more than ten years older than me The kind of chingu that I talk informally to He's a chingu that I can call and be like, hey hyung hurry up, or like, be quiet (*) So I don't think age is really all that important.

(*considering the tone Jimin was speaking in, you can take it as an equivalent to: Hyung, get your ass here right now and oh shut up.)

Here, chingu was used to denote friend, as in, you know, just friend.

Note how Jimin said, among his chingu there's one that's 10+ years older than him. He is *categorizing* this person as a friend. Because he's trying to make a point about how age can be irrelevant in building friendships, he doesn't refer to this individual as 'a hyung I know (아는 형)' or 'a close hyung (친한 형)'. He's trying to emphasize the friendship aspect, and not the age difference, in his choice of words. It's extremely likely that in most situations where he has to tell other people about this person in his private life he would refer to him as 'a close hyung' (if those who are listening don't know this person) or 'X [insert name]-hyung' (if they all know him). Not friend/chingu.

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So, to answer your question:

[...] why would Jimin who is the dongsaeng in his friend group then refer to his older friends as friends if they're not the same age but he wouldn't refer to Jungkook as his friend?

> Jimin doesn't need to call Jungkook his chingu, either to him or to other people. They are already bandmates and close hyung and dongsaeng and everyone knows about it. Close hyung and dongsaeng fall under the umbrella of 'friend'. If no one knew who they were and what kind of relationship they had, and Jimin had to talk about JK without giving any specifics about his gender/age/etc, he might refer to JK as chingu. But it's not a scenario that's likely to happen.

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How can Jimin as a dongsaeng call his outside BTS older friends friends but can't call another dongsaeng in another group of friends friend?

> He can, if he wants/needs to. When I said Jimin wouldn't call Jungkook his friend/chingu even if they were't in a non-platonic relationship or in the same band, it's because between Koreans age always comes first when establishing a relationship. JK will forever be a dongsaeng to Jimin and Jimin will forever be a hyung to JK regardless of how their relationship status changes. I repeat, having a friendship with someone, categorizing a person as a chingu, and naming them chingu are all separate things for Koreans. You can name a person as your chingu even if you don't have a close friendship with them. You can be friends with someone but rarely refer to them as chingu.

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Finally, a tip for anyone out there who's interested in learning Korean - since chingu is such a loaded word, we often use the term chinhan sayi (친한 사이) or just the adjective chinhada (친하다) to describe a friendly/close relationship with another person. See example below.

I'm friends with that sunbae

-> 그 선배랑 친한 사이예요. [Geu sunbaerang chinhan sayiyeyo]

(Literal translation: I have a close relationship with that sunbae.)

-> 그 선배랑 친해요. [Geu sunbaerang chinhaeyo]

(Literal translation: I'm close to that sunbae.)

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#Anonymous #answered #jimin language #really hope this helps

[corrupt-fvcker]

Boba Fett Fluff Alphabet

Fluff / Relationship Alphabet ( Boba Fett x fem!Reader )

Warnings: fluff overload, NSFW themes, unedited writing, boba fett deserves a warning of his own

Word Count: 5.1K

Author's Note: i was going to write an nsfw alphabet for boba but then i realized that writing a fluff/relationship alphabet would be 100x harder because he's about as emotional as a brick. maybe an angsty brick, but a brick nonetheless. psa, i wrote this at 2am so it might be a little crazy.

A is or Activities (what do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?): So let's get one the thing straight, Boba's the best bounty hunter in the entire galaxy during the reign of the Galactic Empire. His success rate is unchallenged by any of his so-called competitors and even the most dangerous quarry doesn't stand a chance against Boba Fett. But here's the catch, you don't become the best by sitting around. Free time? Yeah, that's essentially nonexistent aboard the Slave I. So it makes sense that he met his girlfriend through his job. Boba has originally hired you to work as a mechanic for the Slave I, because after one too many power outages in the middle of an asteroid field with a hull full of quarries — Boba vowed to never leave a planet without a mechanic on board again.

So even if designated free time isn't necessarily a thing aboard the Slave I, there are peaceful times in between quarries that offer you some along time with Boba. And even if Boba's adamant on staying focused on bounty hunting, sometimes he'll let his guard down just enough for you to get the attention you're craving.

But just because there isn't enough time in his day to spend hours alone with you, don't think that Boba would neglect your needs. If you need someone to lay with you because you're feeling especially anxious and lonely, Boba will settle down beside you on your shared cot. Sure, he might grumble something under his breath that doesn't quite register through his vocoder and his sigh might be absolutely royal, but he'll lay down with you as lon as you want because Maker forbid you go looking for affection elsewhere. And if you need someone to listen to your rants or a shoulder to lean on, Boba will offer his shoulder and mediocre listening skills to you dutifully. Because even if he's the best bounty hunter in the galaxy, he has to remind himself that he's also your boyfriend. And yeah, he'll make mistakes but he's going to try his best to be there for you.

Now what does Boba like to do with you once you're both finally able to catch your breaths in between quarries? He likes to fuck. Which may only add to his extreme symptoms of exhaustion, but he just can't help himself.

B is for Beauty (what do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?): Physically, Boba really likes your legs. He loves the way your ankles crisscross against his lower back with your wrap your legs around his waist, desperately holding onto him. While working on the ship you were baggy grease-stained trousers, but once those come off? Fuck, Boba's done for. He can't help but trace every curve of your legs, yearning to kiss and lick up from your calves to your thighs. Don't even try wearing short dresses or mini skirts around him, he'll tear the fabric off of you like a kid opening Christmas presents before you can even get a word in.

Now beyond physical beauty, Boba really admires your compassion. It's a rare trait, Boba's figured this out the hard way. You're incredibly strong and Boba knows that you can handle yourself, but you've got this soft heart that Boba's adamant on protecting. You're kind and understanding, you aren't quick to judge or hate even when you should. You're also stubborn to a fault, which Boba shouldn't find as endearing as he does. You're the only person in the entire galaxy that he's met that's more stubborn than himself — so of course he ends up falling in love with you.

C is for Comfort (how would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?): Like I said, Boba's a busy guy, being the best takes a lot of time and energy. But don't ever think that he doesn't have enough time for you. Even if there isn't enough time in the day, he'll be sure to make the time for you. If you're feeling particularly sad or stressed, Boba will be there for you. Admittedly, he's not the best at the whole emotions thing, but he'll try. And he's still learning how to be all soft 'n sweet for his girlfriend, but he'll always try his best for you.  He'll do whatever you need — yes, even if that means putting a pause on his job for a few hours. He wouldn't admit that he enjoys holding you but he reluctantly does enjoy it very much. He'll try his very best to keep his surly deposition in check, making sure to be extra kind to you if you're feeling down. And yes, he's learned this the hard way (he'll never comment on his squeaky pilot's seat that he asked you to fix when you're on your period again for as long as he lives). And if you're all teary-eyed he will trying his kriffing best to be supportive about whatever's gotten you so upset, even if crying makes him very, very uncomfortable. He will be extremely tense the entire time he holds you as you cry into his chest but he won't make any remarks and he will not pull away even if he wants to lock himself in the cockpit.

D is for Dreams (how do they picture their future with their s/o?): Honestly, Boba's not entirely sure. He's been a bounty hunter his life whole, it's all he really knows. He didn't necessarily plan on falling in love and he most certainly didn't plan on having dreams of a domesticated life fill his head when he sleeps. Boba Fett thought he'd never be caught dead dreaming about settling down on some outer rim planet with the love his life. He didn't think his mind wander as he sits alone in the cockpit, thinking about it the two of you would ever marry. He didn't think he'd secretly crave a little house and a family to fill the rooms. But suddenly he is thinking about all those disgustingly domestic things and he's not revolted at the idea of having a family, he actually kinda wants one.

So yeah, Boba's not entirely sure of what your future together is going to look like, but as long as you're together he figures you'll be alright.

E is for Equal (are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?): Nobody has ever — in all his years of life — used the word passive to describe Boba. It's like oil and water, they just don't mix. Boba likes control, he calls the shots because he really only trusts himself to call them. And even after the two of you finally get together, Boba's not passive. Softer maybe. Or perhaps kinder. But not passive. Whether it be out in public, in the privacy of the Slave I, or beneath the sheets, Boba's the dominant one in your relationship. And it certainly doesn't help that he's technically your boss. If he needs his squeaky pilot's chair fixed you are kinda obligated to fix it. But even outside of your so-called professional relationship, he calls the shots. It took months to convince him to allow you to ride him, but even with you on top, he was somehow still in control. You're not entirely sure if Boba being a perfectionist is accurate but— who the hell are you kidding, yes, that's exactly what Mister The-Best-Bounty-Hunter-In-The-Galaxy is. He likes the control he has whenever he's in a position of authority, it's a feeling of stability that the life of a bounty hunter lacks. But even if he's more dominant in your relationship than you are, he'll never neglect your wishes. He always makes sure that your basic needs are being met and that you're comfortable.

F is for  Fight (would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?): Being a bounty hunter is... stressful. Most arguments between the two of you are petty and avoidable, like you don't really need to argue about who's the better pilot (but you do). Genuine arguments are a rarity, mainly because the two of you are both too busy and too tired to pick fights that are going to last longer than two or three minutes. But every once in a while, all hell in unleashed upon the Slave I and thank the Maker the quarries are all frozen in carbonite because they'd be widely for a bolt if they heard the two of you going at it. There are few topics that Boba and you argue about that actually matter. Namely, safety and (the dreaded) emotions. Like I said, Boba tries real hard to be a supportive and loving boyfriend, but sometimes he just doesn't make the cut. And sometimes he's just, well, an asshole and you're about two seconds away from kicking his green ass out into space. Though as your relationship evolves, these arguments grow less and less common.

Though the topic of safety is always very much present aboard the Slave I. Boba's job is dangerous and a small mistake can have major consequences if you're both not careful. And you understand that, but that doesn't mean you don't get a little annoyed with him. He's a little overbearing (a perfectionist, if you will). Boba has this list. A great, big, long list filled with rules that must be followed when both on and off the ship. And you find that the closer you and Boba become, the more stricter these rules grow. And sometimes (usually) you slip up and break one or two (or three) rules, because sometimes it feels like you're walking on fucking ice with all these rules. But you really shouldn't break them because they're there specially for your safety, so when you break them, Boba kinda loses his shit. It usually starts as a yelling match and it usually ends with a silent treatment from both parties. And more often than not, Boba is the one that has to apologize because you're more stubborn than him and he's also usually the one in the wrong.

After the conflict had been resolved, it can end in one of two ways. Firstly, you and Boba can lay together 'n cuddle because that's both relaxing and reassuring that you both love each other. Or secondly, you can have rough make up sex because that's also both relaxing and reassuring that you both love each other.

G is for Gratitude (how grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?): Boba may not be the best at expressing his gratitude, but he really is appreciative of everything you do for him. He's not the best with words, he can never think of the right thing to say at the right time unless it's some snark comment that will make you roll your eyes. He tries his best to show you how grateful he is of you, and he knows he can't solely rely on sex to express his gratitude (though you're not complaining). When he's feeling particularly grateful for having a girlfriend as wonderful as you, he tries his best to be extra sweet towards you. And it's the little things that count; asking you if you need anything while he's out, bringing you a snack while you work on the ship, cleaning up after himself to make your life easier.

H is for Honesty (do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?): Boba's a bit of an extremist when it comes to honesty. He'll either be painfully honest, speaking the truth with little regards to the fact that you may not like what he's saying. He doesn't like how you fixed the Slave I? Oh, you'll hear about it. Does he think that you're acting impulsive and reckless? Prepare for a lengthy lecture. Partially, you admire that he's willing to be so open with you, but on the other hand, sometimes you want to throw your shoe at his head.

But no matter what you'll always prefer Boba being brutally honest over lying. And Boba knows this, he won't let himself lie to you because he knows that it would only drive you apart. Though sometimes when the truth is little too ugly for someone as tender hearted as yourself, he'll opt to just not speak. Because what you don't know can't hurt you, right? Sometimes he'll forget to tell you that the quarry managed to graze him with a blaster bolt. Or he won't say anything when he sneaks out to go beat up the slimeball that tried to touch you at the cantina. He won't answer you when you ask him what's wrong because he doesn't want to burden you with the fact that it's been exactly twenty years since his father died.

So yes, if the truth is ugly enough, he'll protect you from it but he'll never straightout lie to you.

I is for Inspiration (did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?): Boba's rough around the edges, you knew this before anything slightly romantic conspired between the two of you. He's sharp and quick-witted and incredibly stubborn — it's his way or the highway, and no he's not accepting criticizing because he surely knows better than some mechanic. His brutal honesty usually comes out in sarcastic retorts that are a little more personal than he intends them to be. He doesn't like sharing his thoughts, he'll never speak unless he haves to which makes being part of his "crew" increasingly difficult. He's a bachelor too, enjoys venturing into dingy cantinas and have the bartender suck him off in the refresher.

But again, you knew all this way before you ever thought twice of how ridiculously sexy he probably looks beneath his bucket. And once the two of you actually get together, Boba realizes that he's going to need to change his questionable habits if this is ever going to work out. He figures out that, yeah, expressing his feelings kinda completely sucks, but saying what's on his mind is easier than making you worry that you've done something wrong. He also knows that he can't take your affection for granted, he needs to cherish your soft heart because he'd never forgive himself if he's the reason it breaks. Admitedly or not, Boba loves you and he knows that he needs to learn how to be better so that you can be together.

J is for Jealousy (do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?):

Boba never thought he'd be the jealous type, but that was partially because he's never really had someone to be jealous over. Relationships are new to him, which consequently means so is the jealousy the churns his stomach when strangers' stares linger in your direction for longer than he's comfortable with. Don't get me wrong, Boba trusts you to save your affection for him and him only. But he can't help but lose his temper when people approach you at bars like his hand isn't already resting on the small of your back.

K is for Kissing (are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?): For someone that has worn a helmet over his head for the majority of his life, Boba's kissing skills are a little too advanced. When you first started working for him, you had always assumed that if something did actually happen between the two of you, Boba would be an inexperienced kisser.

Well, apparently you couldn't have been more wrong. Because as Boba's gloved hand grabs by the nape of your neck and pulls you swiftly into his chest, you start to think that maybe you're the one that's in over their head. And you're suspicions are proven true as soon as his lips are on yours and his hot tongue dips into the cavern of your mouth.

L is for Love Confession (how would they confess to their s/o?): Being the stubborn idiots the two of you are, both of you beat around the bush for quite some time. Surprisingly, Boba fell in love with you a lot faster than anticipated (which fucking terrified him). So when he's watching you stargazing in the cockpit and the three dreaded words nearly slip from his tongue, he nearly haves a heart attack because he wasn't supposed to fall in love with you at all. The original plan was to remain business partners with benefits (which he should've known wouldn't last), but now it's only been two months since your first kiss and he's already preparing to spend the rest of his life with you.

Unsurprisingly, the confession slips from his lips during an argument — not some petty disagreement, but one of your infamous safety arguments. And thank the Maker he was wearing a helmet because fucking tears were lining his eyes and his heart was trying to rip out of his rib cage as he tells you how immature you're being for leaving the ship while he's out after a quarry. And once the three words leave his lips, he quickly realizes that he can't take them back. You look like you've just seen a ghost — eyes wide and jaw slack — and you're not entirely sure of what you should say because you never thought in a million years that Boba Fett would ever love you. And the rest of the evening is blur from the shock of it but Boba swears on his life that your immediate response was a squeaked out"fuck off" because you thought he was toying with you.

But once the bandage was ripped off, saying I love you wasn't as scary as either of you thought it was going to be. It's not exactly a regular sentiment and it's never said with nonchalance, but you both know that you love each other and in special moments you mutter the sweet reassurance to one another.

M is for Marriage (do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?): Boba's the most shocked of all when he realizes that, yeah, he likes the idea of marrying you. He cherishes the idea of you wearing a ring on your finger for the rest of your shared lives, a symbol of your love. And, fuck, he hates how cheesy it sounds but he just can't help himself. And he's not entirely sure of how to bring up the subject of marriage with you because you've never really expressed interest in getting married and your relationship shared no resemblances to a proper Mandalorian courtship.

But he eventually does propose (and yes, you almost pass out as soon as you turn to see him on his knee), and luckily you accept his proposal with the same smile on your face that makes him feel weak in the knees. There isn't a wedding but you both swap vows and that's all either of you could really ask for. And turns out being married to Boba isn't too different from dating him, except for that he's just a tiny bit more protective and somehow even a bit softer.

N is for Nicknames (what do they call their s/o?): "Sweet girl" - absolutely the softest and most adoring nickname he's given you, and definitely his favorite. And yes, he does notice how sheepish you get when he calls you his sweet girl.

"Kid" - it's definitely your least favorite out of all the names he calls you, which only means that he'll make an effort to call you it more often. He usually uses the endearment when you're being ridiculous, but always used when he's teasing you.

"Babe" - it's so incredibly nonchalant that it doesn't even fit his character, but one night it slips from his lips before he can think twice and it just kinda stuck.

O is for On Cloud Nine (what are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?) Boba's love for you is difficult for outside parties to notice, mainly because they're usually too concerned with the fact that a fucking Mandalorian is casually strolling through town. When Boba's in love he's just softer and he usually expresses his emotions through little actions because words are not his strength. Gently resting his gloved hand on the small of your back when he's feeling protective. Tightly gripping your thigh beneath the table when he's feeling jealous. Brushing a strand of hair from your face when he's feeling particularly captivated by your beauty.

P is for PDA (are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?): Boba prefers that whatever happens between the two of you stays between the two of you. You're his, he's yours — there's no need for a third party to be meddling in your personal business. It's very unlikely for anyone to even suspect that the you and Boba are in an intimate relationship unless Boba wants them to know. If the drunk at the cantina gets a little too flirty with you, they'll be the first to know that you are certainly spoken for. Boba's not one to indulge in PDA, he prefers the privacy of the Slave I. The ship is a safe space for Boba, he can remove his armor and weapons without having to worry when your touches distract him. He doesn't have to be on edge, he can relax and be with you.

Although Boba prefers to keep affectionate gestures aboard the Slave I, that's not to say that he will not fuck you thoroughly in an ally on Corellia or refresher on Tatooine...

Q is for Quirk (some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship): Boba's surprisingly good at reading people, which even though it's ultimately beneficial for your relationship, it can be really annoying. Because Boba's not exactly the easiest person to be vulnerable around, sometimes you find yourself keeping things from him. You choose not to tell him that your feelings are hurt or that you didn't sleep well the previous night. But it's always fruitless to try to hide something from your boyfriend. He just knows. Your slumped shoulders or fidgeting hands are dead giveaways. He's quick, he'll notice every flaw in your poker face before you even realize that he's looking at you (the visor makes that difficult). And in the beginning of your relationship, Boba wasn't exactly sure how to approach your (ew) feelings. But the longer the two of you are together, he learns that sometimes it's just easier to ask what's wrong than to let your moodiness build up and then explode like a broken dam (his thoughts not mine).

R is for Romance (how romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?): Boba is about as romantic as a brick (Maker, apparently I really like comparing this green booger to a brick). He doesn't even really try to be romantic because he already knows that he's going to just kriffing suck at it. He knows about all the cliché stuff but he thinks all that is just bullshit and he hopes — for his sake — that you do too.He will not serenade you because he thinks music is just excess noise and he will not buy you one hundred roses because they'll just wither up and die. But just because he's not Mr. Romance doesn't mean that he'll do just about anything to make you happy. He might complain the whole time, but he'll do whatever he needs to do if it means you'll love him forever. He might not serenade you but he will massage your feet and take you out to your favorite restaurant. He might not buy you one hundred roses but he will cuddle you in the morning and make you a cup of caf so that you can get an extra ten minutes of sleep.

S is for Support - (are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?): Boba will always support you, no matter what. Does it feel like he's an amazing, supportive boyfriend? Uh... no, not all the time, it's admittedly one of his weaker spots. Boba's a bit of a pessimist and will tell you just about everything that'll illogical in your dream, but once you shoot him the glareTM he'll shut up. So just know that he is supporting you and your dreams, even if he's a grumpy asshole. Though he's lacking the trait of being verbally supportive, he does do everything in his power to help you achieve your goal. Will he complain? Probably. But he'll continue to push you until you achieve your goal.

T is for Thrill (do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?): Boba's life is already filled with thrill, getting shot at all day is enough for him to want to unwind once he's work day is complete. Every single day is different with Boba, neither of you ever really know what you're getting into. But between the two of you exclusively? There's some sort of routine. Boba's job is usually an all-day affair, so the only time reserved specifically for you is in the morning and at night. Your routine is relatively simple: cuddle in the morning, cuddle at night. What happens between those two points of time is completely random and up to the universe.

U is for Understanding (how good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?):

Just because Boba can read you doesn't necessarily mean that he understands you. The two of you are very different people. Emotions? Over his head. Girl stuff? Don't even bother. Hobbies? His response was 'do you mean work?'. But Maker, he tries to understand you, he really does. He wants you to feel accepted and loved and important. He'll force himself to be empathetic and compassionate with you (even though he has absolutely no idea why your crying). Boba's a good listener, he'll take whatever you tell him to heart and try to piece together the rest.

V is for Value (how important is the relationship to them? What is it's worth in comparison to other things in their life?): Boba has trouble admitting that your relationship is everything to him. The bastard spends his entire fucking day thinking about you and all the things that remind him of you. And he knows he has it bad when he realizes that he'd quit bounty hunting if it meant making you happy. Fuck, he wants to settle down with you (that's a secret though). You are his everything, nothing in the entire universe compares to your love. And he absolutely hates how he's been reduced to some lovesick puppy, but that's what you've done to him and he wouldn't have it any other way.

W is for Wild Card (a random fluff headcanon): Boba secretly really wants to start a family with you. He'd have to quit bounty hunting and live on a secluded planet somewhere in the outer rim, but he thinks about becoming a father a little more than he's willing to admit. The thought of Clan Fett growing excites him more than you'd think. He likes the idea of having someone to teach everything he's learned, just like how his father had taught him. He finds himself wondering what your future children would look like. Would they get his dark hair and tan skin? Or would they resemble their mother? Would you have boys or girls or a mixture of both? How many would you have? Two? Three? Four? Would they follow his Mandalorian ways or would they be more like you? Would any of your children want to become bounty hunters or would they want to become mechanics like you?

X is for XOXO (are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?): In public, Boba's affection is microscopic. But in private he tries to show more affection towards you (he sometimes forgets that it's his job as your boyfriends). He would never admit to liking to kiss and cuddle but he really does. Without fail, every time he removes his helmet the first thing he does is kiss you. And cuddling? This boy will complain so much that you'd think that it's torture, but you're too smart for his bullshit. You know he loves holding you. Why else would his arms always find their way around your waist every night once he thinks you're asleep?

Y is for Yearning (how will they cope when they're missing their partner?): When Boba's away from you, he's one grumpy motherfucker. Which is saying something because he's always a grumpy motherfucker. And Maker pray for the poor quarry that's keeping him from you, he'll beat their ass a little more than usual just because of it. He get's quiet, saving all of his energy for when he finally gets to be with you. Manners? Out the window, fuck off everyone and everything isn't you. Boba's impatient on a good day, when he misses you he's always about two seconds from starting a fight.

Z is for Zeal (are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship?): Like I said, Boba would do anything for you. Willing he complain while doing so? Naturally, but he'll get whatever he needs to done to make you happy.

————

Tags ( a million years ago I made a post and these were the people that liked it so sorry if you liked it accidentally :3 ): @linguistic-lovers @bubbles-in-autumn @pinkninja190 @beskar-boba @clairestrying @satan-incarnate-666 @waymorecake4me @dirty-dancefl00r5 @tinycollectivetrash @coffeeandtodd @arcadianempress @thesparkleslugs @the-silly-skeleton @greatermaguro @justrunamok 

#boba fett #boba fett x reader #boba fett x you #reader insert #self insert #fanfic #fanfiction #relationship alphabet #fluff alphabet #boba fett fluff alphabet #corrupt-fvcker #my writing #fluff

[fictionadventurer]

Father Brown Reread: The Absence of Mr. Glass

The consulting-rooms of Dr Orion Hood, the eminent criminologist and specialist in certain moral disorders, lay along the sea-front at Scarborough, in a series of very large and well-lighted french windows, which showed the North Sea like one endless outer wall of blue-green marble.

I like how the first and second collections both start with a story focusing on a professional detective who’s not Father Brown.

True to form, we’ve got a color word in the first sentence. And not only that--a hypenated color word! You don’t get much more Chesterton than that.

Everything about him and his room indicated something at once rigid and restless, like that great northern sea by which (on pure principles of hygiene) he had built his home. Fate, being in a funny mood, pushed the door open and introduced into those long, strict, sea-flanked apartments one who was perhaps the most startling opposite of them and their master.

Highlighting this because “Fate, being in a funny mood” is a great phrase.

But also because I love when the stories contrast Father Brown’s clumsy, homely shabbiness with characters who look more distinguished and accomplished.

"My name is Brown. Pray excuse me. I've come about that business of the MacNabs. I have heard, you often help people out of such troubles. Pray excuse me if I am wrong."

It’s odd that Father Brown is consulting another detective on this. He doesn’t seem the sort to seek out other help. He usually just winds up on the scene of the crime by accident.

It seems like he should have the confidence to solve the mystery himself.

It seems like the more natural way to bring Hood into the story would be to have the girl approach Dr. Hood and Father Brown just to be at the house for priest reasons before figuring out the mystery.

But maybe Father Brown’s stumped from lack of evidence and doesn’t have the time for an investigation. (Actually paying attention to his priestly duties for once?)

After all, it’s only luck that the crisis that gives them an excuse to investigate the apartment happens two minutes later.

And of course, the whole point of the story is getting this Holmes detective to the same crime scene as Father Brown to contrast their methods, so it doesn’t much matter how he gets there.

And there is a lot of fun in seeing shabby little Father Brown in this professional detective’s immaculate study.

"Oh, this is of the greatest importance," broke in the little man called Brown. "Why, her mother won't let them get engaged." And he leaned back in his chair in radiant rationality.

It’s not a full-fledged Father Brown story unless the mystery is centered on a romance, is it?

A stock Chesterton exchange: foolish-looking character says simple, silly-sounding statement as if it’s the most sensible thing in the world, before being forced to elaborate by a confused listener.

This story gives us Father Brown at his most silly-seeming. Here he’s not just unassuming and sheltered; he seems like one of Chesterton’s holy fools. He hasn’t looked this simple-minded since “The Blue Cross”

"Mr Brown," he said gravely, "it is quite fourteen and a half years since I was personally asked to test a personal problem: then it was the case of an attempt to poison the French President at a Lord Mayor's Banquet.  It is now, I understand, a question of whether some friend of yours called Maggie is a suitable fiancee for some friend of hers called Todhunter.  Well, Mr Brown, I am a sportsman. I will take it on.  I will give the MacNab family my best advice, as good as I gave the French Republic and the King of England--no, better: fourteen years better.  I have nothing else to do this afternoon. Tell me your story."

Sure, he’s a condescending ass, but I can’t help liking this guy. He’s got a good heart and a good sense of humor.

I kind of wish he’d have showed up in at least one or two other stories (preferably with a better end than Valentine).

The little clergyman called Brown thanked him with unquestionable warmth, but still with a queer kind of simplicity. It was rather as if he were thanking a stranger in a smoking-room for some trouble in passing the matches, than as if he were (as he was) practically thanking the Curator of Kew Gardens for coming with him into a field to find a four-leaved clover.

I like this metaphor very much.

Brown is still very, very much the simple little curate of “The Blue Cross”. But with the bumpkin traits turned up to eleven.

I’m very curious about Dr. Hood’s past cases, and how he achieved such renown.

"I told you my name was Brown; well, that's the fact, and I'm the priest of the little Catholic Church I dare say you've seen beyond those straggly streets, where the town ends towards the north.

Yet another parish! How many is this? This seems like the most distant, rural parish that Father Brown has yet had.

And Father Brown’s actually doing some work at it!

He seems to have quite a pocketful of money, but nobody knows what his trade is.  Mrs MacNab, therefore (being of a pessimistic turn), is quite sure it is something dreadful, and probably connected with dynamite. The dynamite must be of a shy and noiseless sort, for the poor fellow only shuts himself up for several hours of the day and studies something behind a locked door.  He declares his privacy is temporary and justified, and promises to explain before the wedding.  

Doesn’t the landlady have a key to the door of her own lodger? Can’t she just demand to look?

British people, I tell you.

Unless the daughter is preventing her from looking, out of respect for her beloved.

And, you know, he does promise to explain, so it’d be rude to just barge in.

So why bother consulting the great detective in the first place? If Todhunter’s really on the up-and-up, he’ll explain eventually, they’ll get engaged, and all will be well.

he is tirelessly kind with the younger children, and can keep them amused for a day on end

Given Todhunter’s chosen profession, this makes perfect sense.

You see, therefore, how this sealed door of Todhunter's is treated as the gate of all the fancies and monstrosities of the 'Thousand and One Nights'.

Another Father Brown mystery built upon a fairy tale atmosphere.

To the scientific eye all human history is a series of collective movements, destructions or migrations, like the massacre of flies in winter or the return of birds in spring. Now the root fact in all history is Race. Race produces religion; Race produces legal and ethical wars. There is no stronger case than that of the wild, unworldly and perishing stock which we commonly call the Celts, of whom your friends the MacNabs are specimens. Small, swarthy, and of this dreamy and drifting blood, they accept easily the superstitious explanation of any incidents, just as they still accept (you will excuse me for saying) that superstitious explanation of all incidents which you and your Church represent.

A lot of the most racist characters in Chesterton are the most educated, scientific and progressive.

Granted, Chesterton does a lot of stereotyping along national lines himself. But usually it’s not with the idea that these differences are bad things. And certainly not with the idea that race is the cause of all war.

the door opened on a young girl, decently dressed but disordered and red-hot with haste. She had sea-blown blonde hair,

Is this the first blonde female love interest in these stories?

They were quarrelling—about money, I think—for I heard James say again and again, 'That's right, Mr Glass,' or 'No, Mr Glass,' and then, 'Two or three, Mr Glass.'

Given the eventual explanation of what’s really happening here, wouldn’t she have heard some other noises (possibly crashing noises?) alongside this?

"I do not think this young lady is so Celtic as I had supposed. As I have nothing else to do, I will put on my hat and stroll down town with you."

Wow, you were really just going to disbelieve her because of her nationality, weren’t you?

Playing-cards lay littered across the table or fluttered about the floor as if a game had been interrupted. Two wine glasses stood ready for wine on a side-table, but a third lay smashed in a star of crystal upon the carpet. A few feet from it lay what looked like a long knife or short sword, straight, but with an ornamental and pictured handle, its dull blade just caught a grey glint from the dreary window behind, which showed the black trees against the leaden level of the sea. Towards the opposite corner of the room was rolled a gentleman's silk top hat, as if it had just been knocked off his head; so much so, indeed, that one almost looked to see it still rolling. And in the corner behind it, thrown like a sack of potatoes, but corded like a railway trunk, lay Mr James Todhunter, with a scarf across his mouth, and six or seven ropes knotted round his elbows and ankles. His brown eyes were alive and shifted alertly.

The clues are laid out very nicely here.

This is one of the most Romantic (in the literary sense of the term) crime scenes in all of fiction. Every clue is as picturesque as possible.

"How to explain the absence of Mr Glass and the presence of Mr Glass's hat? For Mr Glass is not a careless man with his clothes. That hat is of a stylish shape and systematically brushed and burnished, though not very new. An old dandy, I should think." "But, good heavens!" called out Miss MacNab, "aren't you going to untie the man first?"

This entire segment is so funny. I laugh every time one of his long-winded deductions is interrupted by the common-sense demand to untie the man.

Now, surely it is obvious that there are the three chief marks of the kind of man who is blackmailed. And surely it is equally obvious that the faded finery, the profligate habits, and the shrill irritation of Mr Glass are the unmistakable marks of the kind of man who blackmails him. We have the two typical figures of a tragedy of hush money:

So much of the Holmesian deduction process relies on stereotypes, doesn’t it? Sure, Holmes doesn’t label people in “types” quite this way, but it relies on using the evidence to reach the most stereotypical conclusion without factoring in the random possibilities of life. (The suspect might have ink on his hands, but it doesn’t mean he’s a clerk). It’s fun that this story calls out that conceit.

"No; I think these ropes will do very well till your friends the police bring the handcuffs."

Okay, so there’s a sensible explanation for why Hood ignores their cries to untie Todhunter. But it doesn’t make the previous exchanges any less funny to read.

"But the ropes?" inquired the priest, whose eyes had remained open with a rather vacant admiration.

It’s interesting that Father Brown’s actually buying into this. My memory had him being more skeptical of the deductions, but he’s admiring the chain of logic being built here.

It’s kind of a nice change from the usual Chesterton tack of the mouthpiece character disdaining every scientific explanation.

It was not the blank curiosity of his first innocence. It was rather that creative curiosity which comes when a man has the beginnings of an idea. "Say it again, please," he said in a simple, bothered manner; "do you mean that Todhunter can tie himself up all alone and untie himself all alone?" "That is what I mean," said the doctor. "Jerusalem!" ejaculated Brown suddenly, "I wonder if it could possibly be that!"

And we’re off! I always love the moment when Father Brown puts everything together, and it’s especially satisfying here, after he’s spent the whole story sitting back and letting another man do all the detective work.

"His eyes do look queer," cried the young woman, strongly moved. "You brutes; I believe it's hurting him!" "Not that, I think," said Dr Hood; "the eyes have certainly a singular expression. But I should interpret those transverse wrinkles as expressing rather such slight psychological abnormality—" "Oh, bosh!" cried Father Brown: "can't you see he's laughing?"

Each sentence gives a vivid picture of the three different personalities here. The tender-hearted young woman. The too-practical man of science. And the brash common sense of Father Brown.

He shuffled about the room, looking at one object after another with what seemed to be a vacant stare, and then invariably bursting into an equally vacant laugh, a highly irritating process for those who had to watch it.

Irritating to watch, I’m sure, but very amusing to imagine.

"But a hatter," protested Hood, "can get money out of his stock of new hats. What could Todhunter get out of this one old hat?" "Rabbits," replied Father Brown promptly.

I love the hat conversation and these lines in particular.

He was also practising the trick of a release from ropes, like the Davenport Brothers

According to Wikipedia, the Davenport Brothers were an American magician act that toured England in the 1860s. They built on the Spiritualism craze and claimed all their tricks were done by spirit power. There isn’t much about what their tricks wer, (besides a couple of escape tricks and spirit cabinet things). Most of the Wikipedia article is about the many times their tricks were debunked. (Naturally, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle refused to believe they were frauds).

But the mere fact of an idler in a top hat having once looked in at his back window, and been driven away by him with great indignation, was enough to set us all on a wrong track of romance, and make us imagine his whole life overshadowed by the silk-hatted spectre of Mr Glass."

This isn’t so much a debunking of the Holmesian deduction methods as a case study proving why logical deductions have to be built upon sound premises. One mistake at the beginning can send you in a completely false direction.

"You are certainly a very ingenious person," he said; "it could not have been done better in a book.

I love when the characters get meta.

This is a very snide remark in context, but of course Father Brown proves himself.

Mr Brown broke into a rather childish giggle. "Well, that," he said, "that's the silliest part of the whole silly story. When our juggling friend here threw up the three glasses in turn, he counted them aloud as he caught them, and also commented aloud when he failed to catch them. What he really said was: 'One, two and three—missed a glass one, two—missed a glass.' And so on."

I can’t explain how deeply I love that the entire mystery is built on a pun. This one section is the reason this is one of my favorite Father Brown stories.

This drives home the idea that mysteries and jokes are the same types of story. They both require laying out information that’s put together into a surprising conclusion.

There was a second of stillness in the room, and then everyone with one accord burst out laughing.  As they did so the figure in the corner complacently uncoiled all the ropes and let them fall with a flourish.  Then, advancing into the middle of the room with a bow, he produced from his pocket a big bill printed in blue and red, which announced that ZALADIN, the World's Greatest Conjurer, Contortionist, Ventriloquist and Human Kangaroo would be ready with an entirely new series of Tricks at the Empire Pavilion, Scarborough, on Monday next at eight o'clock precisely.

I grew up on cheesy sitcoms. I’m a sucker for the “everyone laughs” ending.

If Todhunter’s willing to admit the truth here, he could have saved himself a lot of trouble by just admitting the truth right away. (I don’t buy the “he keeps it secret to keep his tricks secret” explanation. You can tell people you’d a magician without giving away everything about your act).

Does Mrs. MacNab let them get married? Now she knows he has a harmless vocation, but it’s not exactly a stable one. Would she let her daughter marry a guy so flighty that he can’t even settle on a coherent focus for his own stage show?

Given that the story ends here, we’re supposed to assume that she does. I guess he must be a successful performer--part of her mistrust came from the fact that he had too much money. So he and Maggie should have a comfortable life together.

I’m glad. He seems like a nice young man.

#lb this is all your fault #father brown reread #father brown #g.k. chesterton #the wisdom of father brown #the absence of mr. glass #i remember why i stopped doing these things #they take forever #'but they wouldn't take forever if you didn't comment on every second sentence' #'be quiet logical brain' #this one feels very subpar but i'm out of practice

[dweetwise]

Headcannons about Ace interacting with other survivors in the realm? Thanks!!

[yess trash husband! these all got weirdly wholesome sksksk just let me have this ok]

there are too many survivors lmao this is so long

Ace & other survivors headcanons

In general Ace is a friendly guy, trying his best to stay on good terms with all the survivors and avoid drama. He’ll joke, tease and flirt to keep things lighthearted in camp. 

He’s a lot more perceptive than he seems, and what initially seems to be an ill-timed quip or a joke in poor taste is often well thought out to lighten the mood and shift the attention away from an argument or tension between the others.

Dwight

Dwight was the first survivor to make him feel part of the group when he initially arrived in the realm. Where the others saw a shady man twice their age lacking any sort of tact, Dwight saw a potential ally just trying to cope with a shitty situation.

Ever since, Ace has made it his mission to act as Dwight’s #1 cheerleader. When the other gets wrapped up in his own head, Ace will offer cheesy compliments until Dwight can’t help but laugh at his antics, forgetting his insecurities at least momentarily.

Ace likes Dwight well enough despite their completely different personalities, but mostly recognizes how important it is to keep their leader’s spirits high.

Meg

Meg is a bit of a loudmouth and Ace likes that she gives as good as she gets. He’ll often tease her and she’ll insult him in return, the others not understanding why the two are grinning like idiots while seemingly arguing.

When Meg has a bad day, she’ll sometimes just flop down next to Ace and sag against him without a word. He knows not to say anything and just lets her rest against him, maybe shows her a neat card trick if she looks like she needs a distraction.

Meg pointedly never talks about any father figure in her life, only her mother, so Ace is happy to fill in for any paternal affection she needs. He’s not sure he deserves the trust she's placed in him, but tries his best nonetheless.

Claudette

Ace thinks Claudette hates him at first, since the girl rarely laughs at his jokes, sometimes even interrupting to defend the person he’s bantering with. It takes him a while to realize that Claudette just has trouble reading his tone, tending to take his words at face value.

He makes a conscious effort to be more genuine with her, and actually ends up opening up more to her than any of the others because he can’t hide behind wit and sarcasm.

Even though he loves being the life of the party, when he needs a breather he seeks out one-on-one time with Claudette and listens for hours while she talks about plants or her family in her soothing voice.

Jake

Jake is an ongoing project for him. Ace has caught glimpses of Jake’s wonderfully dark sense of humor and is determined to see more of what’s behind the stoic exterior.

So Ace pushes more than any of the others, teasing and joking even when it’s clear Jake wants to be left alone. Usually he gets an annoyed grunt or an eye roll for his efforts. Sometimes, he gets punched. But every once in a while, particularly when nobody else is around, he’ll get a small smirk and an amazingly witty quip in return.

So he keeps pestering Jake, hoping that one day the other will be comfortable enough to let his guard down around him and the rest of the survivors.

Nea

Nea is a huge brat and is Ace’s favorite partner is trials, as she’s always up for doing dumb shit with him and doesn’t care if he gets distracted and loots a chest or five.

In camp, she’s like an annoying little sister, constantly getting up in his business, calling out his cheating in card games and booing at his less than stellar jokes.

Ace is her go-to confidant for her girl troubles. She always pretends to be annoyed at his shitty advice and the cringy pick-up lines he suggests she use, but she’s grateful to have someone to talk to who never judges.

Laurie

Laurie doesn’t approve of Ace’s previous lifestyle, not to mention some of the impulsive decisions he makes in trials, and she’s not afraid of letting him know. He doesn’t mind being lectured by her and will be the first to admit she’s leagues more mature than he is despite her young age.

She pretends to hate his jokes but still catches her smiling when she thinks he doesn’t see. Though he learned the hard way that she’s not receptive to flirty comments when she wrangled his arm back for calling her “sweetheart”.

She has cried on his shoulder multiple times, especially after trials against her brother. Ace thinks it’s because he’s open to a fault compared to her reserved nature, and she knows he won’t push her away or make a big deal out of it. Afterwards, she’ll be embarrassed and threaten violence if he tells the others, and he’ll go back to cracking jokes.

Bill

In many ways, Bill is Ace’s polar opposite; he’s serious, grumpy and sarcastic compared to Ace’s lighthearted and over-the-top demeanor.

They make a good comedy duo, with Bill being a reluctant participant most of the time. Still, the other has yet to actually ignore his goading, taking every chance to try to knock Ace down a peg.

Bill’s true colors shine through in bad trials, when he’ll ask Ace to help him save their younger friends, trusting his skill and moral code at least momentarily. After all, there’s a certain kind of solidarity that only comes from bleeding out next to each other on the ground after having successfully bullied the killer away from their teammates.

Feng

Some of the others dislike Feng and how selfish she is in trials, but Ace has a soft spot for her and her erratic behavior, quick to jump in and defuse situations where the others are ganging up on her.

Feng eventually recognizes Ace as her equal and not a “pleb” like she sees most of the others. She’ll even almost look happy to see him if they spawn together in a trial, before pestering him until he hands her his item.

Feng’s competitive nature sometimes makes her take out her frustration on the others in a gamer rage. Ace often intentionally makes himself an easy target by teasing her, not minding being her verbal punching bag as he knows it’s all bark and no bite and it helps her de-stress.

David

Ace finds David’s complete lack of filter and dirty humor amusing. The two have the most bizarre banter, egging each other on with gags that consist of 90 % of obscenities and that cause some of the others to cover their ears in second hand embarrassment.

Ace likes that David doesn’t take himself too seriously, and often uses the Brit as the butt of a joke, knowing the other won’t mind and will most likely be the one to laugh the hardest.

If David gets in one of his moods, pent up after a trial and looking for a brawl, Ace is one of the few who can snap him out of it with one of their tasteless jokes. Sometimes the joke falls flat and he gets punched or wrestled to the ground instead, but hey, at least David’s not sulking any more.

Quentin

Ace goes easy on Quentin at first, because the boy looks so tired and seems like he’s struggling with the realm. Quentin eventually notices the special treatment and starts giving him shit for it. Ace goes full force with the banter and Quentin is more than happy to dish it back, displaying a delightfully quick wit and dry sense of humor.

He still recognizes that Quentin might have an aversion to older men so he keeps a healthy distance between them, consciously resisting his natural inclination for playful shoves or flirty jokes.

Proud member of the Protect Quentin / Kick Freddy’s Ass squad. He wishes he could do more for Quentin, but hey, at least he can make the sleepy boy crack a few jokes at Ace’s expense.

Tapp

His relationship with Tapp is tense at first; as conman and cop, they have a lot of prejudices against each other.

Tapp eventually drops the antagonism, recognizing the real threat in the killers and realizing the benefits of teamwork. That includes accepting petty criminals like himself and Nea.

They’re not the best of friends by any means, but it’s kind of nice to play cards with the man and be able to chat with someone his own age. Ace doesn’t even cheat in their games, and in return gets to hear about some of Tapp’s more colorful cases as a detective.

Kate

Ace values Kate a lot in their group; she’s hearty, genuine and he’s never seen her angry. She radiates charisma in a way that’s completely different to his own, and Ace feels like he can relax and drop the “entertainer” act when she′s around.

He’s not actually close to her personally, as they don’t have much more in common than being the token happy person by the campfire. Still, they have a silent understanding of one another.

Ace will sometimes call her obnoxious pet names like honey, sweetheart and pumpkin, and she’ll just laugh in her melodious voice and shoot back a “yes, darlin’?”.

Adam

Adam is well-read and sophisticated to a point where Ace feels a little bit intimidated. Adam will frown at some of his jokes and correct him, and Ace will feel dumb.

Ace starts having his guard up around the other, until Adam seems to notice and makes a conscious effort to befriend him, confessing that he’s just a little awkward and never meant to be rude.

Ace is always quick to forgive and forget and goes back to joking full force, also making an effort to ask the other about some useless trivia every now and then because it makes Adam’s face light up.

Jeff

Jeff is just so chill even Ace feels himself mellow out in his company. They have pretty much nothing in common but Jeff always chuckles at his jokes and has some pretty good one-liners of his own.

He’ll sometimes just sit with Jeff and talk about anything and everything, appreciating the other’s interesting worldview that’s so different to his own. It always feels kind of like he’s just out having a beer with a bro.

Jeff is the one Ace is most comfortable with asking advice from, because the man never judges and his advice often offers a whole new perspective.

Jane

Jane and Ace butt heads a lot. She doesn’t like some of his more questionable jokes and won’t hesitate to call him out. In return, he’ll claim she just needs to lighten up.

Eventually this dynamic becomes a joke of its own, with the others commenting on how “mom and dad are arguing again”.

Ash

Hoo boy. These two are so much alike and it usually ends in disaster. Will bully killers together and get facecamped while the other is slugged next to the hook.

Ash is more of an adrenaline junkie than him, and Ace actually starts finding himself being the voice of reason that tries to talk Ash out of sucker punching the killer.

Ash is somehow also even more of an attention whore than Ace, so when the man is telling a crazy story to the rest of the camp, Ace is content to quietly slip away from the commotion and go chill with Claudette or Jeff.

Nancy

Nancy is one of the smartest people Ace has ever met and he loves how flustered she gets whenever he tells her as much.

He’s happy to let her take the lead in trials, as she, like Dwight, seems to be a natural leader. She’s always surprised by his acceptance of her as an equal or even superior, and he can tell she’s had trouble with being taken seriously in the past.

That being said, he can’t resist messing with her every now and then, cracking jokes and trying to get her to loosen up and realize that the fate of the world does not rest on her shoulders.

Steve

Ace sees a lot of himself in Steve; the goofiness, the troublemaking, and the cockiness that sometimes verges on arrogance.

He goes along with Steve’s dumb ideas in trials, feeling decades younger every time the teen eggs him on to have flashlight lightshows or make farting sounds with the gauze rolls instead of doing the objective.

When Steve inevitably gets caught trying to pull a dumb stunt, Ace will be the one to save his ass while giving him shit for it, all in good nature.

Yui

Yui is a badass if he’s ever seen one. They’ve pulled off so many end-game rescues together that should have been impossible, but with her determination and his luck they always seem to defeat the odds.

In camp, Yui is a wiseass and they give each other so much shit for the smallest of things. Yui is painfully blunt and thrives on good banter, and Ace is happy to indulge her.

Yui has a filthy mouth that will give David a run for his money and has even managed to make Ace blush and gape on a couple of occasions.

Zarina

Zarina is not amused by Ace’s flirting and flamboyance. Zarina values actions, not words, and somehow seems to sense all the empty promises Ace has made in his past.

Each time he’s about to engage her in conversation is predated by one of her eye rolls or exaggerated sighs. He starts greeting her with the same gestures to mess with her, annoying her further.

Nevertheless, when push comes to shove, she’s there to pick him up off the ground at the expense of her own health state and reluctantly compliments him for running the killer for three gens.

Cheryl

Cheryl keeps surprising Ace, her shy demeanor hiding a dry sense of humor and a rebellious streak.

She plays along with his banter without missing a beat, throwing in some jokes at his expense for good measure, causing Nea and Yui to basically insta-adopt her as one of their own and bond over his shitty sense of humor.

sorry there’s only 2 for jane and cheryl!  i’ve done a hc with ace&jane before and i still don’t have a good grasp on cheryl/heather’s character ;w;

#dbd headcanons #ace visconti #do i just tag all of them #dwight fairfield #meg thomas #claudette morel #jake park #nea karlsson #laurie strode #bill overbeck #feng min #david king #quentin smith #david tapp #kate denson #adam francis #jeff johansen #jane romero #ash williams #nancy wheeler #steve harrington #yui kimura #zarina kassir #cheryl mason #dbd survivor #dbd #dead by daylight #ask #request #dweetwrites

[slut-for-fandoms]

Paint me yours || Part 2

Pairings: Artist!Taehyung x reader

Word count: 2k

Genre: smut, fluff, angst (in the following chapters) 

Summary:  You are an art college student who struggles with finances. Until one day, on an exhibition of the arising artist Kim Taehyung, when the same boy offers you a job as his model. Would it be just a simple job or would it complicate your life in ways you have never thought it would? 

Warnings: None in this one

PART 1

A/N: I know, I know. Its been ages since I first posted part 1, but I was struggling with a lot of things and lack of inspiration of what and how to write it. Honestly, I am not even sure how this one turned out to be, at one point I was thinking of just posting the smut part, but part of me really wants to try and build this up with all the emotions I could put into the story. I hope you like it and please leave a comment as it will mean a lot to me :) Sorry for the mistakes you are gonna face!

Thrill. Surprise. Excitement. Nervousness. And all thanks to a small piece of paper.

“I will be looking forward to your answer, darling. ;)”

-K.T.   Number: ********95

I’ve been playing with it for the last 5 days, 17 hours and… 39 minutes ruminating whether I should call him or not. Groaning in annoyance I throw it on the bed, next to me. Running my hands through my face and hair, I close my eyes in attempt to recall the events from that night.

‘I- um what?’ my brain was so slow in processing the information, that I didn’t even realize I had spoken out loud. He only chuckled. His hand disappeared in the inside pocket of his golden coat searching for something. My confused and taken-aback self was following his movements with the hope to grasp what was happening. His long and soft fingers soon showed, holding a small piece of paper. His other hand was already holding a pen and he scrabbled something on it.

‘I’d like to work with you dear.’ he announced while handing me the paper. My eyes were moving from his aristocratic hands to his soft hazel eyes as my mouth was opened slightly making me look like a fish out of the ocean.

He licked his lower lip, then bit it trying to prevent his smile when my body somehow decided to react at take the paper.

‘You are indeed an interesting person Ms. (Y/N). Unfortunately, I need to leave but I truly hope we meet soon.’ winking he turned around and slowly excited the room. This gave me the opportunity to observe him more. Even his walk was showing gracefulness and elegance. His head was held high, showing the confidence he had and to show the respect to the people who came to ‘contemplate’ his works. He was smiling, thanking to his guests, shaking hands with them. Once he disappeared I glanced at the slip of paper in my hands.

‘(Y/N)!’ the screaming and banging on my door brought me back in the reality. Although all of this happened almost a week ago my body still reacts to any memory of him. The thought of him smiling, makes me smile too, the way his piercing eyes were looking at me causes my heart to skip a beat, his laugh…oh god his laugh. Every single fucking time I recall that boxy and cute shape of his mouth when he laughs and the sparkles that reach his eyes… ‘(Y/N)!’

‘Stop banging on the damn door, I can hear you!’ I shout back angrily.

‘Then fucking answer.’ groaning I get up from the bed and go to open the door for my roommate.

‘What?’ crossing my arms in front of my chest I lean on the door frame.

‘Dear, why the attitude?’ she looks at me concerned, ‘Are you on your period?’

‘What? No! I-‘, inhaling I try to gather myself, ‘I just have a lot of projects to finish. Don’t worry. Why were you trying to knock my door off some seconds ago?’ her face changes from worry to sympathy and then to a big smile.

‘Oh yeah, about that…’ all of a sudden the smile disappears which confuses me.

‘Come on, spill the beans.’ I wasn’t really in the mood to deal with people.

‘I need you to leave for the night?’

‘Excuse you, I what?’ I really hope she is joking with me right now.

‘Look. I do not want to do it but Jackson is crashing here tonight and I-’, she stutters as she’s trying to explain me everything.

‘You want some time alone and blah blah blah. I get it Rose but I have nowhere to go, you do know that.’ I wanted to be angry, I really wanted but I just couldn’t.

Being an art student with almost no financial support is really hard. The money my mum sends me is never enough due to fact we both come from a poor country. She works her ass off every damn day to support my dreams. Some months ago I was kicked out of my old flat because I wasn’t able to pay the rent. Thank god I had Rose as one of my really close friends to offer me her place to crash for some time until I find a place. I was feeling bad enough that I wasn’t paying anything to her and god knows how many times the fact I’ve been living with her have ruined her plans. I even started working two jobs but balancing them with my projects is almost impossible, that’s why I had to quit one of them two weeks ago.

‘I know (Y/N) but it is Jackson’s birthday. I have planned everything. I really want it to be the best evening if you know what I mean.’

Taking a deep breath I answer her.

‘I will see what I can do.’, suddenly her face was beaming with happiness.

‘Gosh, you are the best (Y/N)!’ Rose hurried to hug me with the smile never leaving her face ‘I am gonna treat you with pancakes tomorrow. I know they are your favourite.’

After that she goes to her room, probably to start preparing for tonight. Sighing, I hold my head against the door the second I close it. I turned around and looked at my phone. 11:23 am. Good. Today is Friday, my day off of one of the jobs. Maybe I can call to get a night shift? It that way I will be out almost the whole night and come back in the morning when everything is finished. Perfect! Jumping with excitement I open my phone and search for my boss’ number.

‘Hello, Mr. Kim! It’s (Y/N)!’, I speak as soon as my boss picks up.

‘Oh, Hello there (Y/N)!’, his raspy voice greets me back. I am not gonna lie, I might have or might have not had a massive crush on him when I started working. What can I say? That man is quite a walking sex on legs and nobody can resist him, ‘It is strange, I was about to call you in an hour.’, he laughs drily which makes me uncomfortable immediately. I may have not worked there for a long time but I learned how to sense his mood as it is a fast changing one.

‘Is something wrong, sir? I wanted to ask if there is a chance about taking a night shift today. I know it is my free day but I kinda need it if-’

‘About that, dear…’, he cuts me off. There is a moment of silence on the phone before he speaks, ‘I think we might not need you anymore. Do not get me wrong, dear. You have been doing more than a great job, but at this point, with Jiso coming back after he accident, we are too many people and I cannot pay everyone the deserved salary or even separate the amount of work equally between everybody.’

‘And I was the last one to join, yeah… I get it why it is me.’, I sit down on my bed, trying to compose myself and not start crying on the phone with my fucking boss. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

‘I am really sorry, (Y/N)! You are amazing, but I can’t fire the others, most of them depend on it more’, yeah because I don’t, but decided to not state it out in anger, ‘I wanted to tell you weeks before this actually happens but I just couldn’t. You can come tomorrow to get your weekly salary with some compensation from us for the situation I put you in. I will try to contact some of my business friends and allies and see if they search for somebody and recommend you.’

‘That would be very nice, thank you, sir.’

‘Again, Sorry dear! I hope you have a nice day.’

‘Yeah…’, my first were clenched and I was ready to go and storm into his office and beat the hell out of him, ‘Have a nice day, too, sir!’, I did my best to fake the nicest tone I could before hanging up.

How the hell did this happen? My anger soon turned into panic and desperation. I cannot lose my job just like that. It is completely out of the blue. I need the money. I barely pull the two ends together, and I am not even paying for a place to stay. That is horrible. That is horrible. What am I supposed to do now? I can’t tell my mum that. She will make me go back and we are already deep in debt.

Inhale! Exhale! Inhale! Exhale! Deep breaths. Everything is going to be fine! Just breathe and think. Think (Y/N)! It is mid-term, almost every possible job has already been taken by the students. I struggles so much with finding this one and the money were so good. It was pure luck. I should not have quitted being a waitress. Oh, god I am so stupid!

In frustration I lay back on the bed with my hands covering my face. But as soon as I lay down something tickles my cheek. One of hands traces the spot in order to find what the hell is on my face. I turn around to see it when my fingers wrap around it. It is the small note from Taehyung. I smile a little bit at it. It was literally the only good thing that has happened to me in the past week…wait.

I sit up abruptly and stare at the note unbelievingly. Should I? I take my phone. What if he was just joking with you? I leave the phone. Why would he? He must have given me the note with a reason? Right? Right?! My insecurities and lack of common sense fight for the next seconds.

Jesus Christ, why is it so hard to decide?

Okay, let’s see. I can text him that I am considering the offer and that it will be temporary until I find a stable job. I heard models earn a lot for such sessions. Maybe It will be enough to keep me going for now? Gosh, I hope so.

My heart is ready to leave my chest when I unlock my phone and open the contacts to dial his number. My hands are shaking while trying to write it down.

Okay, now what? What should I text him?

Hello! It is (Y/N), the desperate broke girl you offer to model for you 5 days ago.

Okay, too much info! Come on, (Y/N)! Be professional. I try to delete it but, because I am (Y/N) and luck is never on my side, I click on the send button.

Shit! Fuck! The hell! Stupid bitch! I guess I just lost the job before even being able to get it. Great. Just fucking great. Should I at least try to somehow improve the situation? To make myself not look like a fucking loser? As if the last one is possible.

All of a sudden my phone starts ringing which put me in panic mode. It’s him. What do I do? What do I do?

‘Hello?’, I curse at myself how shaky and high-pitched my voice sounded.

‘Hello, dear!’, oh my sweet gosh, his voice sounded so much better than in the memories I had from that night. It was deep, smooth, feeling as though honey was running through my veins, ‘I did not think you would ever call.’, I can sense the smile in his voice.

‘Well, my schedule is kind of full’, I wish there was somebody there to slap me and pour some sense into me.

‘I am glad you found time for me then.’, he laughs and at this point I had the feeling my heart will just give up and stop beating, ‘Have you considered my offer?’

‘I- I kind of have some questions before we start a-’

‘Before we start?’, chuckling he continues, ‘I take that as a yes. When are you free to start my dear?’

‘Um, I guess today? But I want to know wh-’

‘That’s the best news I could hear today! How about you come tonight and we start? I will answer your questions and you will see what you should do and eventually if you want to stop, I will respect your decision.’

‘Well?’, he asks after some moments of silence which I didn’t even realize have slipped.

‘What time do you want me tonight?’

If you want to be tagged in the next parts, please let me know :) <3

#bts x reader #bts imagines #bts smut #taehyung x reader #taehyung imagine #taehyung x y/n #taehyung smut #taehyung reaction #taehyung angst #bts imagine #bts angst #artist au #bts artist au #taehyung artist au #bts x y/n #kim taehyung x reader #kim taehyung x you #kim taehyung imagines #kim taehyung smut #kim taehyung scenarios #bts scenarios #taehyung scenarios #bts taehyung imagines #bts taehyung x reader #bts taehyung smut

[inkstaineddove]

Circling Eagles

Characters: Austria, Prussia; mentioned Hungary, France and Holy Rome

Summary: Austria is suddenly summoned to Berlin by Prussia for a vague meeting. Tensions run hot between them as egos due to an over abundance of ego and animosity in both, throwing their discussions off course to air grievances and bait the other.

Berlin, 1806.

Prussia was hunched over his desk in his study. The matter of France’s increasing territorial ambition had left him with more work to do than ever. He found himself a slave to all his papers as they stacked up, growing ever higher each day. He was roused from this by a light tapping on the door. One of his servants stepped in and bowed her head. He flicked his hand towards her as if to beg her to get on with it. "Master Edelstein has arrived, sir."

He harrumphed. "Have him wait five minutes in the parlor before sending him up. I'm in the middle of something." He returned back to his papers, scribbling out correspondence to generals on the front and to ambassadors throughout the European courts.

Not even a minute had gone by before the door slammed open. "Oh for heaven's sake, Gilbert! Who do you think I am, Baden? You can't expect me to wait around like your coy little mistress after you rush me over from Vienna." Roderich was leaning over the desk, in the Prussian's face.

Gilbert grimaced. Why did his beloved cousin have to wear so much fucking perfume? It never smelled good either, making it even less tolerable. "Get over yourself, Roddy. You know I would never treat your mistress like that. How is she, by the way? I've been so busy, I haven't had the chance to call on her. I hope she hasn't wasted away, having to capitulate with a man hardly capable of fulfilling his marital duties."

Roderich straightened up, his face red. Gilbert rose and shut the door. The staff didn't need to hear all this. "You jealous, spiteful little rat. If this is all you have to say to me, when I've been sending men to death to protect your pathetic little state, I've got no qualms signing a treaty with France and ending the whole thing! I'd love to join with him and rid myself of you, but tragically I have honor."

Prussia shrugged, barely suppressing his amusement at the other’s outburst. "I was enjoying myself, but you've always got to ruin the fun." He began rummaging through the stacks of paper on his desk. Eventually, he found what he was looking for. "Have you received any letter from us yet, dated a month ago after Austerlitz? I know your men were at the battle, but no one reported to me seeing you there."

"I know we got our asses handed to us and about the resultant treaty afterwards, as I negotiated that, but that's it. I'm assuming you tried reaching me about something else?" Austria gaped as he watched Prussia toss out the letter he had so valiantly fished for. "What was the point of that?"

"I'll show you instead. It's about that troublesome empire you clung so tightly to." Prussia led him out and down the halls to a darkened room in the basement. "Thankfully, it's really unsettling down here so I've had no trouble keeping my staff away from here. But it sure was a bitch wrapping the kid up in sheets and bringing him down here in the middle of the night. Without making a sound, should I add." He couldn't help the hint of pride in his voice. He lit the candles hanging by the sofa.

Roderich leaned against the wall, needing it for support. He felt queasy. There before him was the body of Holy Rome. It was a wretched sight. He was covered in wounds, his body appearing as if it had began bursting apart. His eyes were rolled to the back of his head, his tongue was swollen, and his face distorted. "What did you do to him?"

"I didn't do anything! He was sent here after Austerlitz in need of expert medical care. He got it, but everyday he kept getting worse. He became so shriveled up, completely disfigured and eventually unable to eat or move. I guess this is what happens when a state's dissolved by treaty. Almost feel bad for him, it might've been better if France had just gutted him with a sword." Prussia yawned, completely unbothered. As the years had gone by, he'd grown less and less fond with the empire-in-name-only. If anything, Francis had done him a personal favor. "I'm sorry you lost the seat of your power."

Austria was not taking this discovery well. He knew that Holy Rome ceased to exist in everything but name - hell, he agreed to it in the treaty - but he expected the embodiment of it to go slowly, peacefully. To eventually fade away till it existed in memory only. This was grotesque. A horror beyond any other imaginable. He wanted to throw up, he wanted to curl up in a ball and cry, to drink till he was numb. So of course, of course, Gilbert would take this as an opportunity to douse the wound in vinegar. "How dare you! Insinuating that was the only reason I cared for him after all these centuries. To stand there, on your high horse, and act as if you're somehow more worthy than me because you're so callous, so uncaring towards this. Marvelous! Further proof that a ghoul has no soul! Are you proud, are you fucking proud Gilbert? Will this help you sleep at night, knowing you have to live in my shadow while I've gotten everything - the girl, the empire, the power - that you've wanted?" As he spoke, he pushed Prussia against the wall, his breath stinging hot against Gilbert's lips.

He saw red. Before he even knew it, he'd punched Roderich in the jaw. Before he even knew it, he'd spat on his cousin’s hunched over body, landing it right on Roderich's cheek. He knelt down and grabbed the Austrian by the collar. "For a little whore who can't defend himself, you really love talking a big game. What do you have that I don't have? I think we know who your wife would rather be with. You know that too, don't even fucking start there. This isn't the fifteen-hundreds anymore, Roderich. All your power comes from who you can get your monarchs to marry off to, whoring yourself around to each nation so maybe they won't recognize the paper tiger in front of them. What power can you really have if you're too weak to truly flex it? As for your empire-" He gestured towards the decrepit corpse of Holy Rome, "-he's over there. Rotting away, no longer any use to you. Now what puppet will you have to prop yourself up with?" He pushed Austria away and stood. "Get over yourself, you'd be less intolerable. Sure, you won't see me crying any tears for this nuisance, but I'm not celebrating. If he really means that much to you, then figure out what to do with the body. That's the reason I called you here. I don't want this shit here any longer. He’s stinking up my cellar.”

Austria spat the blood that was pooling in his mouth out. He wiped the spit off his cheek. "You're a barbarian. Who could ever love that? Uncivilized, uncouth, an ogre. Whoever you appeal to simply lacks taste, that's all. It's not an attachment to you, it's an absence of acculturation to be worked on." He paused. "Vigorously." Collecting his pride, he rose and dusted himself off. Roderich rolled his eyes. "I suppose a proper Catholic burial in Vienna will be due. All the royal honors. I'll invite the other German states, though I doubt they'll show, a fitting tribute to their allegiance."

"Burying it would be a waste. Haven't you heard what the others have been begging for? The whole specter of France has the weaklings begging for a united Germany." Prussia wrinkled his nose up at the concept of it. "If they get their way, it might be worthwhile keeping the damn thing."

"A united Germany? One where Bavaria, Saxony, and the two of us are all working together, fighting for the same goals and for the same nation?" Austria scoffed. "A fantasy. No, if I kept him in an accessible area and the idealists got wind of that, my God. It would be a propaganda victory for them if they believed I sided with them. I can't have that. It would be suicide."

"Just a thought. That whole group keeps clamoring for it more and more. I'm not sure how easily we'll be able to crush the idea. They seem to be putting all their hopes into it." Gilbert laughed. "It's ridiculous. They want every state to be considered equals in it. Can you imagine? Having us be equal to all of them? I'd be embarrassed having to consider Cleves a peer."

Austria gave him a pointed look. "I think what would be worse is us having to consider the other an equal. The day I look at you occupying the same plane as me will be my last. You'll always be that backwater nation with unchecked ambitions to me. Saxony and Bavaria have had the common sense to acknowledge that, it's you who's always been desperate to rise beyond his station. Funny, you'd expect a Calvinist to accept that he was predestined for mediocrity."

Prussia's blood ran cold. He clenched his jaw. "And you'll always be a dying star, clinging to its last streaks of glory. Too proud to admit when he's washed up and no longer en vogue. For all your trappings of wealth and culture, it never seemed to get you any class. You're still here, in the mud, where you'll always be. Come on, don't be afraid to admit that you like it." Austria shifted nervously. Prussia smiled. "I'll send the body to you. I figure you don't want it riding in your carriage with you, you're welcome."

They tersely went back up the stairs to the main hallway. Roderich collected his coat and checked his appearance in the mirror. "You're beautiful, please leave my home now." Prussia opened the door and, as Austria walked out, said, "Make sure to give my regards to the misses."

Roderich stopped and leaned in close to Gilbert's ear. "I will as we're going to bed tonight after I've fucked her so good. And I'll think of you, sleeping in that big bed alone, and I'll sleep like a baby." He strode off, leaving Gilbert in the dust. Another meeting of unfinished business.

#aph prussia #aph austria #hws austria #hws prussia #pruhun #aushun #hws pruhun #aph pruhun #aph pruaus #aph aushun #hws aushun #hws pruaus #pruaus #HETALIA FANFIC #hetalia fanfiction

[orsino-the-enchanter]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent (the mere existence of a post-canon verse is diverging from canon)/ fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. It depends on what you mean as popular. Whoever has ever played DA2 knows Orsino because he’s important to the plot (especially in act 3) but the opinions on him are conflicted. like they are on any morally gray character. Still, he is a side character who has like 5 scenes in the entire game, so I believe he’s not getting the attention he deserves.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. Orsino certainly is not everyone’s cup of tea, I can say that much. Physical appearance-wise he is very attractive for what he is: a stressed/depressed middle-aged DA2 elf who has seen SomeShit™ in his life. He has aged way more graceful than what he could have, but still, he is in his late 40s/early 50s, which can be a deterrent factor to some; also, the elves in this game have distinctive inhuman-like features that people either love or hate. Personally, I think that there is harmony and beauty in his features, which makes him weirdly pretty to look at and i love the fact that they gave him an hourglass body shape. However, Orsino’s true beauty lies in his personality and his calm, collected, polite demeanor. His voice is another huge bonus.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. I mean... he’s a First Enchanter who keeps his knowledge on blood magic and necromancy a secret, there are hints that he’s a somniari mage throughout the game, he has some very badass scenes where he kicks the asses of bigger/stronger opponents than himself when he’s outnumbered AND he has one of the 2 boss battles in the finale of the game. There is no doubt that he is a force to be reckoned with in battle.

Are they underrated? YES / NO / IDK. I think he’s criminally underrated not just by the fandom, but even  the creators of the game, who gave him no backstory, only a handful of scenes and butchered his character just to add another boss battle.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. Meeting him along with Knight Commander Meredith and Viscount Dumar earns you an achievement (the “friends in high places” one). He is one of the main antagonists in the third and most crucial part of the game and you can either choose to side with him or oppose him.

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. Lots of elements in the storyline depend on the protagonist’s political views on what’s going on in Kirkwall, and since Orsino is a prominent political figure, he is relevant to the protagonist’s views. He can be either an ally or an opponent, depending to what the protagonist’s views are. Also, he had been involved to the protagonist’s tragic loss of their mother -albeit indirectly-, since he was an informant of the murderer.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. He’s a controversial but VERY well-known public figure, to the point where he can be recognized in the streets -even if people have never seen him before, they can recognize the staff he carries, his distinctive robes and the fact that he’s an elf (an elven first enchanter is news in itself, so he doesn’t go by unnoticed). The protagonist has heard of him -along with rumors and gossip surrounding him- before he had the chance to meet him in person. He has such influence and people skills that he even carried out a rally to overturn the Knight Commander’s rule of the city and almost succeeded.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. Depends on who you ask. Mage sympathizers see him as a brave advocate of his people’s rights who wouldn’t hesitate to put his life on the stake for them. The common folk and the city authorities see him as a potentially dangerous troublemaker and rebel.

How strictly do you follow canon? — I try to follow canon mostly in my canon verse, while taking some artistic liberties due to the lack of a concise backstory. In post-canon verses and au’s, I have taken all the insights on Orsino’s personality, views and way of thinking and I have adapted them to fit each verse’s context.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  For him ‘mage’ is not just a term describing his abilities, it is also a term describing his personality as a whole. He has that elegance, cultivation and mystical charm about him; he is morally grey yet charismatic; witty yet cunning and certainly not one to be toyed with. Despite the exterior of a powerful yet restrained scholar he maintains , however, there are many layers to him and each is darker than the last. He can be both the erudite conversation partner you’d like to have an existential conversation with over a glass of good wine, a trusted advisor you’d confide your problems to and a force to be reckoned with who would obliterate you or your enemies in battle, depending on the situation. Still, the First Enchanter has some very vulnerable sides too, but he tries to keep them to himself.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  — In the main verse he’s a minor character; with not as much involvement in the protagonist’s life as other characters (such as the companions). He’s also kind of secluded and not in touch with whatever happens in real life -not just because he lives in the Circle, but because he has been institutionalized, like any other person who has been brought there from a very young age. Also, there is the age gap which can make him a bit harder to reach than someone younger.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  When I played DA2 for the first time, Orsino piqued my interest because he was the very definition of a tragic figure.  He was the only voice of reason in the madhouse that is Kirkwall; yet he was fighting alone for a just cause that was doomed. He had the whole city and the authorities against him; still, he did not give up trying to protect his people; and he did his best to refrain from violence until the bitter end. His death -a suicide, no matter how you cut it- was equally tragic as the life he led; it was seeing the bringer of hope for mages losing all hope himself and deciding to go fighting and not on his knees. That, combined with his sarcasm and sophistication convinced me that I had to do justice to this poor underappreciated soul and dig deeper into his character -even try to write an alternative ending for him. Hence, this blog was created.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  My amazing roleplay partners with all the good work they put into their characters and the love they have shown me and my character so far. I love you guys <3

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? i have my doubts sometimes, but i think i do ok. Still, I would love to have more feedback to see how i can improve even more.

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF Headcanons, metas, the works.

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO. I am not sure what is meant by ‘drabbles’ but sure, I’d love to write more of those.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO. All the time, especially before going to bed. That is where all those rp ideas come from.

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF? Again, i don’t really get much feedback, so i am not that sure if I am doing any good and if my Orsino sounds genuine

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. I like how i have written some threads more than others, I’m not gonna lie.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO / SORTA. I am a sensitive person in general, but not someone whose feelings are easily hurt/triggered or someone who takes things that are not my business to heart.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  Criticism is welcome only when it is constructive; in the sense that there are clearly stated arguments as to what I do not do right and suggestions on how to improve. If someone sends me an ask like “i don’t like x just because” or anon hate, I am just going to ignore it.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  — YES!!! YESS!!! YESS!!!!!!! I cannot stress enough how helpful it is for me to receive suggestions and questions that help me explore sides of my character i have not thought about so far! Even if your questions are the randomest things ever, i’d still LOVE to answer them. I have received some asks like “what would Orsino do in x situation” in the past and they were SO fun to write!

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  Of course! As I said, so far the opinion is supported beyond the ‘just because’, I will be happy to consider it. Anything that helps me broaden my perspective is welcome.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  same as the above.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  — I do not really mind; i am the first person to recognize that Orsino is a controversial figure and people may hate him for whatever reason. I might not agree with the hate, but each to their own I suppose.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  — If they do not do it in the typical ‘grammar nazi’ style i’m chill with it. Grammatical errors tend to happen more often than not, just because i almost never proofread. *shrug*

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  I think so, yes. As I said, I am not easily annoyed, triggered or have my feelings hurt, and i am very excited to interact with new people. Still, i do recommend reading my verses/about/rules pages, if anything, to know what to expect from my portrayal and activity patterns.

tagged by: stolen from @theharellan tagging: @of-enormous-girth @oftevinter @the-old-and-the-hapless @soldier-of-visus @lathsuledin @redtemplarcommander​ @hisfavoritewolf​ @the-champions-of-the-just​ @lowtownbutcher​ @elderone​ @sworntoprotect​ @altuspavus​ @starkhavenprince​ @aqun--athlok​ @hornedchief​ @iamcole​

#meme

[dearheartwitcher]

ocs masterpost

for ease of access! in-depth descriptions of all my favorite ocs, all in one post. you can find even more of my ocs (brief descriptions + reference images) over on my art fight page! (you have to be logged in to view!)

[[MORE]]

DnD Characters:

note: for some of these, i have to omit large portions of info as i am either actively playing them, or saving them for a future campaign, and i dont want anyone im playing with to see and accidentally spoil themselves

Fennryn Autumntide—

They were separated from their parents as a baby, and instead raised by an older dwarven woman named Rhiannon Autumntide (AKA Anna). They lived in the forest on the mountain together. She taught them how to fend for themself, and a basic respect for nature and other living things. Their relationship was very teacher/student, but as the years went by they saw each other as family. Fenn solidified this by taking Anna’s last name when they were of age. Eventually, Anna passed away, and Fenn was left in the woods alone.

Fearful of dying alone without ever having experienced life off of the mountain, Fenn sets out to find an adventure. And they find one, alongside a younger tiefling man named Finn. Finn is an experienced pirate, but he is vulnerable. Finn and Fenn trust each other explicitly, and after some time, they fall in love.

Fenn is tall, muscular, and an older elf. They’re around middle aged.

Alistair—

Alistair is a mystery. They are a bizarre-looking half-elf, with a wicked grin, and glowing cyan eyes that lack pupils. They are seemingly fairly young, despite their hair beginning to grow white at the roots.

Alistair is extremely curious, and values sating that curiosity above most things. They spend much of their time exploring and researching. They also have a complete lack of respect for personal boundaries, and love to study and inspect whoever they can get their hands on. (They’re good with a pair of pliers, if you’re willing to let them pull a tooth. They’d be happy to show you their collection.)

Alistair also thrives on positive attention, especially from people who don’t give it easily. Perhaps that’s why they insist on hanging off of Frey as much as they do. Frey Matthias Wolfe is a rich bastard. He’s a man of study as well, but he’s a real mean bitch. And Alistair loves him.

Alistair’s patron... Is a whole other story. One that will remain secret, for now.

Jesse—

Jesse was spawned from the thought “I should make a mean nerd for everyone to bully!” And the execution, imo, was flawless. A 24 year old human man. Jesse is a bard, and he hates it. He has been traveling on his own for a while, and finished his bard college education a couple years ago. He’s pretty studious, and he’s determined to learn everything related to magic that he can.

Despite being a jackass, and kind of a stick in the mud, he does have some semblance of a sense of humor. He also likes to use his intelligence and skill to feel superior to the people around him as often as possible. He is visibly extremely disturbed by corpses.

Jesse is very vague about his past and his reasons for traveling alone.

Ford—

Ford is my newest character! He is a firbolg cowboy. Extremely tall (approaching 8’), with a powerful build. I can’t say much about him yet! He is seemingly very friendly and happy to lend a helping hand whenever he can. He has a sister, named Clementine, who owns a small grocery store.

Cressida:

(note: cressida city + the world its a part of belongs to my boyfriend @ghost-gore ! all the characters that mine know belong to him as well. warning for gore on his blog.)

Ellis—

Ellis is a demon who works in limbo under a man named Crow. Ellis is technically speaking, pretty old, but he looks just as much the young man he was when he died. He keeps his long hair back in a ponytail, and can’t seem to ever wear his suit properly.

Ellis’ powers allow him to see and alter people’s memories. Limbo, as it works out, is a mess of memories. He is always very busy keeping things in order. He’s no stranger to making mistakes, but he has a knack for fixing them to make up for it. When he has a moment to himself, he likes to slip into the dreams of humans. He thinks they’re interesting! (But he keeps accidentally bringing them nightmares...oops. Don’t worry, he can fix it!)

Ellis is in love with his boss, and has been for over a century. He has a hard time keeping it subtle, but fortunately(??) Crow is oblivious. But a century is a long time... And things have gotten intimate between them more than once.

He is also good friends with a much older demon, named Cordia. They like to meet up for drinks, and bond over funny cat pictures.

Rosier—

Rosier is an old, powerful demon. He was once a high-ranking officer in “Hell”’s military. He was charming, and an excellent strategist. (Having a powerful beast form also helps.)

However, something triggered him severely. In a frenzied panic, he shifted into his beast form and flew off.

As a beast, he has large red eyes, long antennae, sharp claws, and huge black wings. Years passed as he isolated himself, and legends spread of the Mothman. Rosier lost himself more and more, until he lost the ability to speak. He stopped seeing any people as the apocalypse happened all around him.

Later, living in the ruins outside of Cressida, he is found by a young hero named Ghost. Ghost is initially intimidated by Rosier, and treats him as an enemy. They fight a few times, before Ghost realizes that Rosier isn’t necessarily a foe— he’s just defending himself. Ghost then begins to treat Rosier almost as a pet.

After some time rehabilitating Rosier, Ghost brings him back to Orion HQ, where they work for Cordia. Cordia is one of very few demons old enough to recognize Rosier.

Eventually, Rosier is able to read, speak, and transform back into a more human shape. He still retains a few of his moth form’s traits, including fully red eyes, fur here and there, and limbs that fade to near-black at the tips.

Cyrus Darcy—

Cyrus is a rich bitch whore. He cares about three things ONLY: wine, sex, and himself. Money is power and he has more than enough of it. His parents passed away when he was a teenager, and they left him a fortune.

Cyrus always gets what he wants. If money can’t get it for him, he has another trick up his sleeve that can. Cyrus is a celestial, meaning a human born with supernatural powers. Cyrus has the power of suggestion, meaning that he can give anyone a short command that they are compelled to follow.

Cyrus has all the makings of a villain, but in actuality he is very neutral. He just wants to have a good time unbothered. He uses his powers mostly to get randos to leave him alone. (Randos like Arley and Kier, who are sent by Cordia to recruit Cyrus for Orion. It takes a while.)

Evelyn—

Evelyn (AKA Evie) was born in the Victorian Era, to a rich father. With money and good looks, she was often pursued by men wishing to court and marry her. She was disinterested in all of them. She preferred to spend her time reading and studying. Evelyn loved to learn, but she also loved a good romance or fantasy to sweep her off her feet.

Enter Cordia, who spent her Victorian days posing as a man. They had a passionate love affair, until Cordia made a sudden exit from Evelyn’s life.

Many years later, Evelyn awakens in the afterlife as an angel. When she and Cordia meet again, it is as equals and business partners.

She is now working as a librarian/an archivist. She also boxes, because she likes to feel strong.

Marcy—

Marcy is a thotty rave twink. They love music, they love neons, and they love to flirt. Marcy is very enthusiastic, and they are a little bit in love with basically everyone. They flirt constantly, and are not shy with physical affection. They like to do drugs and make out and they’re happy to do that with pretty much anyone who’s willing.

Marcy is also a celestial. Their powers allow them to control their personal gravity. They can jump really high, and come down hard, among other things! They mostly use it to help themself go fast. They used to be in roller derby! And they still love to skate.

(ps they have thighs for days and an ass that wont quit. thank u)

Other:

Bonnie Briary—

My newest oc! She belongs to a world where monsters are real, but hidden. Monsters aren’t super common, and they generally avoid integration with human society. (The setting is also a blend of modern + victorian fantasy. Think Lemony Snicket ambiguity.)

Bonnie is shy, sweet, and curious. She likes to study plants in particular. Her style of choice is cottagecore/fairycore blend. She has a garden that she loves very much.

Faust (belongs to tovomiel on ig), is a trash punk gargoyle monster, who for some reason has decided he likes Bonnie. He teases her relentlessly and loooooves to make her flustered. The catch is, he’s too shy to make a move beyond teasing and the occasional kiss. Bonnie, sweet as she is, is dying for him to stop leaving her hanging. Shenanigans ensue.

#knock knock its knuckles #ocs #oc masterpost #i will put this in my links page later tonight!

[sugar-petals]

Sub!Namjoon A-Z 

note: posts for other members linked in m.list!

⚠️ warnings: dom/sub dynamics, smut, bdsm

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

In the mood to talk a lot. Might appreciate a high five. I’m not even kidding.

b = body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Confident about his legs. Always uses a metric ton of lotion to make them extra soft for you to fondle. Might go through a few bottles a month because wow, his legs have a lot of well um leggy leg to be slathered. For you... similar area, he likes your feet to worship. 

c = cum (anything to do with cum basically… i’m a disgusting person)

How much more playful can he get. At your command, he’ll lick it off your butt. Sex with Namjoon is always super creamy-sloppy-sweaty anyways, he has a lot to gobble up.

d = dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Most of the other members have as many secrets as they have fingers, Namjoon, however, will exceed that by far. He wants to try shibari, sounding, pet play, flogging, collaring, and basically everything that comes with spreader bars and gimps. Clearly spends too much time on the internet because holy cow, that’s ambitious. But you can take it as a compliment to your skill, or rather, Namjoon’s conviction that you master a lot of kinks.

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

In his mind, and in general terms of knowledge, very much so. He’s not just well-versed with humanitarian thought, kink is not safe from his curiosity. Practically, less so, but he learns fast with your lead.

f = favourite position (this goes without saying.)

Up against a wall. He is not above begging for you to pin him to one everywhere. Also his favorite mode of making out, by the way.

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Oops! By accident. Like when removing pants, trying to at least, because his boner often gets stuck, or stumbling across the room entangled with you, trying to head towards the bed.

h = hair (how well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Will definitely experiment with razors a lot. Because let’s face it, Namjoon is like straight out of a shaving commercial. Imagine him in those scenarios where the guy is all sensual under the shower with cream dripping everywhere, or leaning against the mirror wall. It’s totally worth filming.

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

You probably have to prevent him from getting super cheesy... or allow it because oh my, he becomes even more hopelessly subby from that.

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Edging, edging, edging. Him masturbating gets him into all sorts of trouble and everyone in BTS has at least one Kim ‘Fap Monster’ Namjoon story they can drunkenly tell at a party to embarrass him for eternity. He’s most infamous for moaning far too loud during climax and even talking to himself, or accidentally streaming his session into the group chat. The first sex-related thing that you’ll ever do is establish a couple rules for Fap Monster to follow, and generally engage in more guided masturbation than having him do it alone.

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

The question remains, what kink doesn’t he have! But I get it, something specific, let’s see. That would be breast sucking. And not just on you, we all know the perks of Namjoon’s chest.

l = location (favourite places to do the do)

Now hear me out. It’s not the library, but something even more... out of the ordinary. Namjoon would totally be ready to have sex in abandoned places of some sort given that there’s not a spider every corner and unsafe debris. Maybe for nostalgic value, or the sheer thrill. You’ll have to talk about it.

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Different every week. He will gladly explain that to you in his 2 AM texts that read like a Kant chapter each. 

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Now we had that, it’s more difficult to pinpoint that one. Nams would probably mention something that doesn’t go in accordance with his moral values and is general common sense either way, like some kind of creepy race/non-con play or certain forms of edge play torture that take hygiene concerns to a new level and would shred anyone without 10 years of experience. Besides exchanging thoughts with you, he’ll get busy in some BDSM forums online and inform himself on how the consensus is. Namjoon is definitely the type to know about what is controversial and being careful with that. He is kinky, but role model kinky. 

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Oh man. What can’t he do with his tongue. And those lips... fit perfectly on your labia. Surely equal amounts giving and receiving, 69 ahoy.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Sex with Namjoon is so dynamic, speed hardly stays the same over the course of a few minutes. Ever heard his tracks? You can assess how a rapper fucks by his mixtape alone. He switches flow every ten bars. That’s how Namjoon is in bed. 

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

You can jump on his dick as often as you please, problem is that Namjoon’s masturbation troubles transfer to your quickies as well. I think there’s a reason why abandoned places are perfect because otherwise, the whole world will know.

r = risk (are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

90% risk, 10% contemplation. That might seem unusual for him, but in your presence, Namjoon quickly becomes a bit of a carefree guy. Hormones are one hell of a drug. But! It’s good to see him leave his mind palace.

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

To be fair: He tries and tries and tries. All that edging does give him a few bonus minutes of endurance, but 15 minutes is the limit. Two rounds max. 

t = toy (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

One of the few members who isn’t caught up in the toy mania. Seriously, can you imagine Joon operating something like a Sybian? It’s not him. Instead, he prefers you to bring your own collection along, who said Kim Namjoon doesn’t like some anal beads to stretch him out.

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

His teasing is so subtle, it’s a test for your intelligence. If you don’t get it, he can still do one of his infamous simple, but effective winks to get your attention. The guy has several methods up his sleeve and thinks you’re cool anyways. Namjoon is a pretty sophisticated flirt, you’ll love that.

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)

Boy, what a confusion is that going to be for the neighbors. “Is Y/N watching Jurassic World again?” Nope, it’s your man making some weird inhuman noises and he’s proud of them. 

w = wild card (get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

You can definitely take him hiking and have a lot of fun in the mountains, you know. Again, that saves civilization from Namjoon’s lack of vocal control and you have free reins to really make him choke and moan in the meadows.

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Doctors hate him! How did Kim Namjoon grow such an impressive 8th member of BTS reaching from Ilsan to Seoul? Citizens use it as a bridge! Buy his secrets for just 70.99$! Now I’m joking, Namjoon dabbles around upper average independently of his body height, and you can be glad because if that was in true proportion your gynecologist would be the one hating him and that third leg. He’s definitely material for cock and ball torture, lots of areas to work with. Add the ass he’s been growing to spank. I swear the guy’s a sex symbol.  

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

How to describe it. Namjoon has a lot of pizzazz. It magically goes to sleep in the presence of books though.

z = zzz (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Click! Lights off. It happens pretty fast so you have to wrap it up quickly and kiss your koala goodnight. 

#namjoon smut #bts smut #sub!namjoon #namjoon x reader #namjoon scenarios #namjoon a-z #bts a-z #bts a-z analysis #namjoon a-z smut #bts #bangtan #namjoon #namjoon a-z analysis #bts abc smut #namjoon abc #namjoon abc smut

[yaboymercury]

Gassy Lessons - Fifth class: Computer Technology

Jay knew his farting was getting better and Mr Watts was agreeing, but through his gassy persuasion he convinced Jay he could still get better. So since Jay's last training session with him he had been tasked with going back to basics and researching other ways to make himself fart more.

The opportunity to get this research done was in Jay's Computer technology class. His class had been tasked to do a trial run with some coding program, but Jay wasn't so invested in the class and the room was big enough for him to get a place a few seats away from anyone else so he took the opportunity to get some gassy research done.

Jay only got a chance to look through a couple fart themed webpages giving him nothing but basic information, when a notification of an email from the teacher popped up at the bottom of the screen. Mr Anderson was the one holding the class today, Jay hadn't had too many classes from the man but he was pretty sure he had a strong impression of what he was like. He had quite a twinkish build not being very muscular, covered half his cute face with chunky framed glassed and had curly pale blonde hair. He was a relatively softly spoken man and was never too assertive at least it seemed so to Jay, and the young teacher never seemed to be able to command a classroom.

Jay never really spoke to the teacher so the email came as a shock. When he opened it though his shock deepened.

'Jay Carter. Can you please keep to the schedule of today's class and refrain from any childish web searches, as the teacher we have screen tracking technology on all the computers to keep issues like this from occuring. Please start your proper work for the lesson.'

The level of polite assertion in the email surprised the student and he couldn't help but be a little embarrassed at getting caught. He gave the teacher sitting at the other end of the classroom a glare, but the man at the desk didn't notice him, he seemed to be typing something else giving the screen his full attention.

Jay gave up any attempt to spite the teacher and letting out a sigh of premature boredom, he closed his tab and went to open the coding program. However before he could even move the mouse again another email notification popped up from the teacher.

'Jay Carter. I take back my further request if you can display the fruits of your research as soon as possible, especially if you could thin out the number of students in the class. Either that or start coding.'

This was of course an unexpected turn for Jay and when he went to look at the teacher over the classroom he could see him staring straight back at him with a challenging look and a slight smile. Jay looked around the class, there were no guys in here he particularly cared about, and Jay didn't particularly care about his reputation either, and since his past escapades in his sports class maybe leaning into the gassy aspect of his personality would catch him some respect.

After a full day of classes Jay had been holding in his gas for a while anyway and it was ready to burst, so he leaned back in his chair stretching and whole doing so spread his legs apart and let loose.

FRAAAAARPP

The first reaction he got was from two friends sitting a couple seats away who both immediately looked over at him, one chuckling and the other just staring blankly.

"Oh you want some?" Jay questioned jokingly wafting it in their direction. The rancid stink finally hit them and they both started coughing in unison. Jay laughing decided to put the final nail in their coffin and aimed his butt in there direction still sitting.

RRRRRAAAAAAAAPP

Jay's newly developed brand of eggy stink made it's way to them and their coughing grew stronger. The mumbled something to eachother and stood up and left the classroom giving Jay a dirty look as they said some incomprehensible excuse to the teacher as they left the room. Jay glanced at the teacher who was chuckling lightly, the student was happy to entertain.

Obviously his gaseous fun was not as well received by the rest of the class, mostly whispering and giving him strange looks, but one of the class reps obviously wanted to take justice into their own hands striding over too Jay. The Prep was obviously caught off guard gagging a little as he entered the stinking cloud surrounding Jay who played dumb and gave the glaring class rep and surprised look.

"Is there a problem officer?" Jay asked.

Through a pinched nose Jay could make out "Mr Carter as a class rep I'm going to have to ask you to stop your expulsions they are reprehensibley rude and a distraction to our learning."

Smirking back Jay grabbed the boy's hand off his nose and in doing so made him stumble closer in a quieter voice he said to him almost seductively "I would hardly call this a distraction?" And he leaned forward in his chair and let rip.

BRRRRRRRAPPPPPT

The other boy got a whiff of the toxic blast and his face went pale as he staggered out the room with a hand over his mouth trying to stop anything escaping. As the boy left Jay thought he heard him say something stupid along the lines of "This won't be the last you bear of this. As Jay watched him leave with a smile he noticed that others were leaving but from the other side of the class, from the side closer to Mr Anderson.

Jay looked over to the teacher who was obviously pretending to be distracted by something on his screen but still wore a cheeky grin. The student took a deep whiff of the air, he was happy to take in his personal brand of month old rancid eggs gas, but he sensed a foreign fart smell growing in the mix of rotten veggies and fragrant compost assault his nose. Looking back at the teacher it didn't take Jay long to work out who the culprit was for the rival gas.

The classroom had been emptied of most of it's students filled with a significant amount of gas. Other than Jay and Anderson there were just two friends looking quite scared and ready to leave sitting pretty much an equal distance from the gassy competitors. Realising what it had come down to before the boys could leave both Jay and the teacher gave eachother a nod and a smirk and walked up to the two.

"You need some help bud?" Jay asked ungenuinly putting has hand on the shoulder of the student on the left.

"You having any trouble with the work?" Anderson leaning on the desk asked trying to keep his usual reserved demeanor to the student on the right.

Before doing anything Jay got a good look at Anderson's perky ass which had been hidden up until this point, he was happily surprised. Both of the students stammered mainly worried about Jay since he was the only obvious farter, they were probably hoping that Anderson would help them. Before Jay could get anything out he picked up on a very subtle hissing coming from the backside of the still concerned looking teacher. Jay of course wanting to contribute to the stink out quickly turned around and sat on the desk almost hitting the keyboard of the boy on the left and pointing his ass towards both.

"Get a load of this action!" Jay strained knowing it wouldn't be a small one.

PRRRRRRAAAARPPPPP

The eggy explosion rocketed out of Jay's ass into the faces of the unfortunate soon to be casualties, and right at the same time Anderson's stinky gas leak got to the boy's nostrils. The combined stench was obviously too much for the two buddies as they knocked heads as they passed out.

Finally getting drop any facade Jay and Anderson smiled at eachother in stinking solidarity as they both took a deep sniff of their joint creation. Of course the two passed out students were currently the main source of the smell, the room as a whole was now filled with a flatulent fog starting to make even Jay's eyes water.

"Impressive work Jay, it seems that it was obviously not coding I should've been pushing you towards."

"I don't know why you spend all your time with computer shit, when your stinking butt obviously is obviously far more interesting." The disguised compliment was a risky move Jay thought but Anderson seemed to respond well. He gave his ass a little smack and adjusted his glasses as he stepped towards his gassy student.

"Well I guess you've got to have a day job."

Jay watched smiling excitedly as the seemingly transformed teacher ran his hand through his hair walking past him.

"Let's leave these two here, I'm sure you don't mind taking the blame for them, I think I'll be giving you some private tutoring if you just follow me." Giving Jay a wink from behind his glasses and strolled out the room.

Happy at the direction the class had gone Jay took one last sniff of his gassy handiwork and clambered off the desk to follow him, leaving the unlucky last two victims to marinate in the stink.

Leaving the room Jay caught up to the man on the quick walk to his office only a little ways down the corridor, all the while making sure to stay a little behind him as to enjoy the view.

In comparison to the quite airy and spacious computer room, the office was tiny. There was barely enough room for the desk and chair, and with both men standing in there, there was barely any room to move. Jay also noted the lack of be ventilation with only one small window which seemed to be locked shut.

"You'll have to excuse the heat." He closed the door behind Jay who leaned against the wall. "I only got moved to the office this year and I haven't been able to find the spare key for the window, I hope it won't be a problem." He gave Jay a knowing look.

"Don't worry I think I can cope" And in spite of the uniform policy Jay began to undo his tie, which prompted his teacher to follow suit. "So Mr Anderson what will this tutoring be about, I hardly think my computing skills need any improving, and I can't seem to think of anything else we have in common." Jay made sure to finish the question in cocking up one of his legs.

FRRRRAPPP

The fart despite not being the biggest managed to fill the room in seconds making both men smile at what it's stink implied.

"Now Jay no reason to misbehave." The teacher sat on a spot on the desk and unbuttoned a few of his shirt buttons as they had both began to sweat. "I merely wanted to give you proper punishment for your unprovoked biohazardous assault on your fellow students, it's highly unprofessional." The teacher concluded by leaning over on the desk displaying his butt again to the increasingly aroused student.

Frrrrrrrrrrsshhhhhh

What the flatulence lacked in volume it made up for in stench completely dominating the room with his rancid personal stench. Both men inhaled obviously neither really expecting how bad it stunk coughing in response to its bite.

After recovering Jay responded keeping up the erotic teasing act they had going by turning around and leaning against the wall and peeled down his now stuck on with sweat trousers just enough to let his boxer clad ass show with the gray colour accentuating his now sweaty crack.

"Well Mr Anderson I think I have quite a skill and I occasionally like to show it off to my classmates I don't see the problem with that?" He stuck out his ass further in the direction of the teacher and winced.

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARPPPPP

He was impressed with himself, the gas shook the room and reintroduced his eggy gas to the room. The power of the fart seemed to shake the tiny room and make both men laugh at the sheer masculine stinky power it showed.

Again matching Jay, Anderson got up and began unzipping his trousers, the now erect student looked back at his teacher reveal his amazing smooth bouncy round ass cheeks. He made sure that Jay got a good look at them giving them a little shake.

"Now Jay I do see a problem with that, thinking your gas could even rival something like mine is worthy of punishment."

Psshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

It sounded like a high pressure gas leak and it intensified the heat in the room exponentially, but by far the worst aspect was it wretched stench making Jay's eyes fully tear up and burn his nose.

Jay managed to recover from his coughing fit relatively quickly in spite of the rancid stench feeling like a cartoonist stinky brown fog in the room. His brain was going haywire at the horrible sensation but he decided to go for one last shot.

"Well then punish this..." He back closer up to Anderson until they were butt to butt. In a brave move Jay pulled down both their boxers until their bare sweaty asses were touching and let a rippling blast straight onto the man's ass.

BRRRRAPTTTTTTT

The rank stink vibrated against the cheeks of the two men making them both gasp. The room was becoming a deadly hot box and Anderson could tell it was his place to finish it.

The teacher after letting Jay's fart finish strolled around his student toying with him and leaned against the wall pushing his ass out until it was just touching Jay's erection. The two sweaty men could tell where it was going.

Rssssssssshhhhhhhh

The heat combined with the two men's combined evil stink, either that or the pleasure Jay got from the last gassy blast from his teacher but he was out, collapsing at the other man's feet.

#eproctophilia #fart #fart story #fartfiction #gay #gay fart #male fart #stink #flatulence #man fart #fart teacher

[starfaring-princelotor]

Ranting anon. I have a lot. I’ll try and split this into pieces. I wouldn’t say that Lotor was my absolute favorite character, but he was an enjoyable and interesting one. He was a more refined antagonist (not necessarily a villain) who had every capacity of being a great ally and friend. I won’t lie, I liked the idea of Allura and Lotor together, (1/?)

As a parallel to Zarkon and Honerva by being a Galra/Altean power couple that fought for good instead of evil. Lotor is clever and diplomatic and poised, so I honestly thought that he could help Allura cool down her impulsive nature and rash temper and help her become a good leader through example. (2/?)

But in the end, all we got was Lotor giving her an ego boost that in the end didn’t even matter because she dropped him like a hot potato in what feels like a forced “girl power!!” Moment. And I feel like that’s a big problem with how Allura’s character was handled. (3/?)

She’s meant to be this wise, kind, but fierce leader lady, but unlike say, Zelda (another warrior princess,) she doesn’t display the patience or level-headedness that Zelda does, despite people making numerous comparisons between the two. The argument that she’s inexperienced falls through halfway through the series at the very least. Allura never takes any steps to curb her temper or his pushy nature. (4/?)

And somehow no one calls her out on it! A big red flag for me was her reaction when Keith was revealed to be half galra and she just…turned fucking mean for no reason. And while Keith felt guilty for something he shouldn’t have felt guilty for, everyone else was…taking her side? (6/?)

And basically the matter is resolved by him mostly apologizing and her kind of mumbling a half-assed sorry. She was literally being racist to someone she called a friend right until she found out about his heritage. Despite him having done absolutely nothing to her. And no one called her out on it. That pissed me off. It feels like the paladins personalities suffered in order to make Allura look good. Like their moralities and personalities got tossed out the window to revolve around her. (8/8)

A forewarning to Lotura shippers, I never liked the ship in the first place, so if you are looking for validation about Lotura or even Allura herself, this rant is not for you. Allow me to pitch in my own two cents about myself, Allura, the Paladins, and the comparison referring to Zelda.

Anon, let me just say this first, I adore reading the asks you sent because all of it was basically the biggest problem I had with Allura the second she was revealed in Voltron. And the main reason for that? Was how she introduced herself by being a glaringly-obvious Princess-brat trope that does not think before she decides to speak. This was her first rash and impulsive act as a “royal” Princess.

This is why I have a hard time believing those who say Allura’s racism towards the Galra is valid because, I do not know about you, but being cryogenically frozen during the heat of war then waking up and thinking the main important thing to do is call someone’s ears hideous? What happened to “the war is still fresh in her mind”? And no, suddenly opening up a journal to remember “Oh, yeah, the war! Zarkon evil! I should be angry!” does not fly with me. 

I am not saying her trauma is not real, only her reaction to it is slightly misplaced. 

In any case, let us move on to the comparison of Allura and I being similar to Honerva and Zarkon. Oddly enough, I did not see this clicking at all in the show. Mostly because, in terms of what happened between them story-wise, Allura and I are more like Alfor and Zarkon. And this is just based off their relationship. Maybe I am a man who strives more for platonic relationships in shows aimed towards children, but I really did not feel the romance at all in Lotura. 

Not even with the sickening way she suddenly started pining after me at the realization that I am half-Altean.

And this is the big point in the show. Zarkon and Honerva loved each other not because of their race, but because they just do. Alfor and Zarkon? They both use their power as royals to achieve a greater good. Except, in the case of Allura, she chose to commit unspeakable acts of betrayal based on feelings. Sounds oddly familiar to Alfor, no? Sacrificing all of Altea to ensure she lives? Because he is such a good father, pure of heart who must protect his daughter at the expense of not one, but two entire planets. 

He loves her so much, he sacrificed his own people for her. That is why Allura is more like her father in that aspect. Both rulers let their feelings control their actions. Throughout the entire 8 seasons of Voltron, Allura has constantly gone either completely irrational or completely poised for the public, never in between. She does her self-sacrificing bit way too many times and, when she coincidentally lives afterwards, she puts herself on a pedestal as if she was right in her self-indulgent martyr actions.

Which she most certainly is not, because it is common knowledge that if you want to help people, you should be actively staying alive to do so. It is as though once she believed all “her” people died, she has no real purpose to stay around after her grand plan of eradicating all the “evil” Galra from space gets completed. I am sorry to say, or perhaps not, but she really does remind me of a terrible Mary Sue who can do no wrong. Alive or dead. 

And this shit? Gets brushed aside or ignored by a majority of the Paladins. I will go ahead and blame it that most of them are all very, very young and lack the experience to speak out against those in charge. In fact, the only two who spoke against her in any sense were Shiro and Keith, even Pidge for family reasons. Shiro when he wanted to support putting myself on the throne and Keith? Well, that is a bit more complicated. 

Anyone remember the scene where Keith kept telling Allura that he does not want to hear a lecture from her, and she does it anyways because she is just looking out for Voltron and emotionally guilting him is the best way to go about it? No? Oh, right, maybe it was because she acted like a mother admonishing him for “shirking” his responsibilities. I do not even need to go on about how much I heavily dislike one of the two female members mothering her teammates.

You know what would have been a great development here? If she supported him instead of “disciplining” him as if he stayed out past midnight. Maybe not even support him! Just be like “Okay, I know this is important for you, so tell us what we need to do to help you. We’re a team and as a team we will help you however we can.” 

In this sense, Shiro was trusting Keith and doing the right thing by giving him the space he needed to find himself. Allura, on the other hand, was pushy and ultimately did not care at all for him as a person, but him as a useful Paladin tool. If he was so revered as the Black Paladin, then should she not be, I do not know, following his orders by the T? Or is her role as a royal, Altean Princess whose spirit is connected to Voltron more important?

And even before all this, she believes her and Keith are supposedly buddies now since she gave a half-assed apology for being a racist cunt to him. No one, I guarantee you, no one forgets racist comments, regardless of repaired friendships. Especially when her cold-shoulder and outright blatant ignorance is being seen as “Oh, it’s okay for her to feel like this! What do we know, we’re just humans from Earth who have apparently never read a history book.”

Before I get into the nitty-gritty details about why comparing Zelda and Allura are the same people, let me just say this concerning Allura’s hot-headed temper and unchecked racism involving a relationship with myself. That shit does not work and Allura should have taken the time to sort herself out before mixing in a “loving” relationship with an Altean and Galran man. I am all for equal support in a couple, but she did nothing to support myself as a person because she never saw both sides of my heritage. 

Allura only saw Altean blood and hyperfixated on that alone. Which, do I even need to spell out how terrible it is to judge someone based on their appearance? Based on their race? Whether in a good or bad light, she once again goes from “I will not have some quiznaking Galra on my ship” to “Your mother was Honerva? You’re Altean!” mode. It is fine to be prideful, but she should have already known the dangers of being too prideful of one’s race. 

Considering she is a royal, considering she was raised with political knowledge, considering her father and the Emperor of the Galra Empire worked together, Allura should have been aware of her Achilles Heel and understand her responsibilities. 

Okay, now, Allura being like Zelda? 

Alright, I only played a handful of LoZ games, but even I know that Allura is absolutely nothing like Zelda, even with both of them having the Princess title. 

We already established that Allura is way too rash and irrational when under any duress. Even when shit is not going down, her way of thinking is very straight forward and linear, disregarding the bigger picture as a whole for her own closeted judgements. Allura has even ignored her royal advisor’s advice too many times to count, excusing her reasoning as “It’s the only way, Coran. I must do this.”

Zelda? Zelda does not, at all, follow Allura’s way of thinking. In fact, OoT has a similar plot to Allura and myself. Link skips 7 years of his life, wakes up to Hyrule being controlled by Ganondorf, and the Princess is MIA. Though, if any of you have played the game, then you know that the Princess was actively trying to save the kingdom. Not just Hylians, but Zoras and Gorons as well. 

And the way she accomplished this was by disguising herself as Sheik. Not because she was a coward, but because she knew the importance that came with being a Princess, the next heir to rule, and the one who has the Triforce of Wisdom under her control. Key word here: WISDOM. Something Allura did not display at all in the show. 

If we are comparing Zelda to any character, she is more like the exiled Prince than Allura herself. Both Zelda and myself have the wisdom and first-hand experience of suffering under active war. Both actively saved, or tried to save, those they came across. And both understood the political discourse that hurt everyone, not just one specific race. Everyone.

But if that is the case, then Link would be similar to Allura in the sense that they both woke up to disaster. The big difference between Link and Allura? Link would not have killed Sheik once he revealed himself to be Zelda. Not even because Sheik was being deceiving. Link would understand why Zelda had to hide for her own safety, because she was vital to the plan to restore balance to Hyrule. 

Even if Link was miffed about Zelda not being truthful? He knows that, under no circumstances, can they chance the risk to kill her over his own personal feelings.

“But that doesn’t mean Zelda never curbed her temper!”

In Twilight Princess, when the kingdom was already starting to fall under evil clutches, Zelda teams up with Midna, an exiled Princess of the Twilight world. I can not imagine how helpless Zelda felt in the face of Zant overthrowing the kingdom, but did she go off and leave the citizens to suffer for all of eternity? No. She accepted aid from those who were willing, even the Princess of the other world. 

And, on top of that, Zelda understood that Midna’s world and her own were like two sides of a coin. They must coexist with each other to achieve peace. In fact, I vaguely remember Zelda sacrificing herself to help Midna. Imagine that. Using your powers to help the “enemy” for the greater good. Tell me when Allura helped the Galra out of her own free will? Her own understanding that the Galra need her help just like every other race in the universe?

No, the BoM does not count. Not with her attitude shining through after her “Zarkon is in power because you guys are cowards!” spiel. Not when she begrudgingly helped save Warlord Lahn while simultaneously profiling him out of spite with “Did you buy those weapons or steal them?” And no, not when she built Sincline with myself with the intention to harvest unlimited quintessence then immediately turn around and aid in murdering me, the Emperor of the Galra Empire, over a weak accusation. 

Overall, Allura really is the type of person to barge into other people’s problems, claim “I am here to help you all!”, then throw a hissy fit when people ask for specific aid rather than follow her “My way or the highway” attitude. Terrible writing or not, she was always like this since the very beginning. It is kind of like…she had many chances to improve, but she just made her own situation worse and refused to stop to reflect upon herself.

#asks #la #you know that saying #alls fair in love and war #yeah no #fuck that #hell naw to the naw naw NAH #zel sweety you did not deserve that #like yall #did we watch teh same fucking show? #did we? #her diplomatic speeches felt fake #she put herself in danger and got caught without regarding the consequences her death would ensue #she refused to be accountable #i wanted to hate you #bruh #what the fuck #leader of the most bloodthirsty race #dude #a good leader knows when to keep their mouth shut #not because of cowardice #but because sometimes staying silent is literally better than saying something that will dig you deeper into a shithole #allura critical #im def gonna use that tag too now

[enricodandolo]

Can we please stop reading Wagner's operas as complete sausage fests?

(Cross-posting from /r/opera for the five people browsing the #opera tag on tumblr)

Inflammatory title, check. Typing this fresh out of the shower inflamed with righteous indignation, check. References to YouTube comments, check. That's right, it's rant-time (or, as Wagner calls it, "act 2").

So this is something that has been on my mind a lot but that I've never really bothered to write down. I don't think this will come as a surprise to most of the people on here, so this is gonna be somewhat self-indulgent. Obviously, big shout-out to the 2005 Copenhagen Ring, which was my first introduction to Wagner.

In a lot of the literature, and certainly in the popular imagination (hello there, angry YouTube commentors), Wagner is all about the men. *Meistersinger* productions almost always hinge on the director's perspective on Hans Sachs and what a cad he is. The *Ring* is usually told as either the story of Wotan, whether he be a visionary master manipulator or a villain in disguise. *Tannhäuser* is about Heinrich dithering about for three hours like a latter-day Hamlet who can't decide between Betty and Veronica (wait, what?). This is not to say Wagner's big female characters -- Brünnhilde and Kundry being the prime examples -- don't receive attention in those productions or analyses. But they're usually ancillaries of the men, in some way or another, and not the focal points of the action.

But that's not at all what we can see in the libretti themselves, let alone the music! If anything, I'd argue that in all of Wagner's mature works -- Tannhäuser, Lohengrin, Tristan, Meistersinger, the Ring and probably Parsifal -- it's the women that drive the plot, and the women that make the most use of their agency.

I think the best example for this is probably Walküre, and in fact listening to the first two acts this morning brought this on. When the Copenhagen Ring had Sieglinde pull Nothung from the ash tree rather than Siegmund, I saw a lot of reviewers tut-tutting. According to a not very scientific study of the comments on the YouTube upload, that seems to be a point of more contention than the deaths of Loge and Alberich in that production, or Hunding getting away scots-free. I note that the Met Ring has the twins pull out Nothung together, hand in hand, which is cute and doesn't seem to arouse nearly as much dissension.

But in fact, Sieglinde is far from the helpless damsel in distress that some people seem to want to paint her as. Hell, her very first line goes: "A stranger -- him, I must ask." The clear implication that she has some sort of plan in mind -- which, though never spelled out, becomes pretty clear over the course of the first act -- doesn't exactly characterise her as helpless victim waiting for her saviour. It is Sieglinde who, at risk to her own safety, forces Hunding to grant Siegmund shelter by literally calling him a coward. Later, it is Sieglinde who -- on her own initiative -- drugs Hunding and directs Siegmund to the sword, not just to save him but also herself. Rather than Siegmund saving Sieglinde, this is a transaction between equals: Sieglinde gives Siegmund the means to defend himself from certain death at Hunding's hands, and in return Siegmund bodily protects Sieglinde from her abusive husband.

Throughout the act, the equality between the twins is emphasised. In part, of course, that's for foreshadowing that sweet, sweet twincest, but one line always gives me pause:

HUNDING Wie gleicht er dem Weibe! Der gleißende Wurm glänzt auch ihm aus dem Auge.

I've seen some pretty bizarre translations of that (that deceitful serpent, really?), but I think this might be the most literal:

How like to the woman is he! The same gleaming (radiant? bright? searing?) worm (almost definitely: dragon rather than earthworm, cf. Fafner) shines in his eye.

I don't really think you can get much clearer on what kind of temperament Wagner had in mind for both Wälsung twins than comparing them to a freaking dragon.

Later on, too, it's Sieglinde who first realises just who this dashingly handsome stranger is and goes "eh, fuck it" and proceeds to basically spell it out to her brother. By this point, we've seen Sieglinde pretty much run the first act, directing events to her advantage from a position of supreme weakness. No matter which of the twins draws Nothung from the tree, I think it's pretty clear that the first act is Sieglinde's self-actualisation and emancipation more than anything else.

The theme continues in acts 2 and 3, in my opinion. Sieglinde takes the backseat here as the overarching mythological plot dominates the action, and the focus shifts to two other female characters: Fricka and Brünnhilde. Now Fricka seems to be positioned perfectly to be played under the "shrewish, overbearing wife" trope who just doesn't understand Wotan's greatness and is keeping him down, man. Wotan and Brünnhilde certainly seem to share that opinion in how they talk about her. But regardless of how she is portrayed on stage, Fricka completely dominates the confrontation with Wotan despite the supposed master-manipulator and patriarch's sweet romantic ideas on how to deal with the Wälsung twins. This is one sharp lady, and she doesn't waste a second before reminding Wotan that he's bound to enforce the divine law she set down. Musically, too, Fricka's sharp soprano lines seem to easily overpower Wotan's explanations in all the recordings I've heard, another common theme.

Brünnhilde of course is the poster-child for any feminist reading of the Ring for obvious reasons. Not only is she, apparently, her mother's equal in wisdom and magic (so says Erda, at least -- later on Brünnhilde bitterly mocks her lack of wisdom, so your mileage may vary). Over the course of the three operas she's in, she

wilfully defies Wotan's orders despite being literally created as his instrument in attempting to save Siegmund

convinces Sieglinde to live and (on the day of his conception, most likely) bestows a seriously programmatic name on her son, with the clear implication that she's doing this as her own way of fixing Wotan's broken master plan

transforms her punishment into an unishment by tricking Wotan into letting her set the conditions for her spouse-to-be, and it's pretty clear from the swelling Siegfried motif just whom she has in mind

musically overpowers brash Siegfried not once, but twice (the love duet and the oath scene in Götterdämmerung) -- I don't think it's a coincidence that Brünnhilde enters Siegfried fresh and ready to shatter every glass pane from Walhall to Niflheim while Siegfried himself has something like three hours of intensive singing behind him

hands out magic items and boons to a departing Siegfried like a mellow dungeon master just before a big-ass boss fight

after being forced into marrying Gunther, immediately turns around and moves to take down Siegfried hard, including by making alliances of convenience with her direct personal enemies Gunther and Hagen. No lovesick puppy here.

burns down the fucking world and kills all the gods

So much for the Ring (haven't touched on Gutrune and Waltraute, who I also think get a bad rap as an uninvolved accessory to her brothers' plot respectively a walking flying plot device). It's not that different in Wagner's other operas, but I'll run through them more curtly.

Tannhäuser: Elisabeth shuts down a mob of angry men about to lynch Heinrich, then cleverly leverages her reputation for piety to give him a way out that will, at the very least, save his life and has a chance of restoring him to the court's good graces. By contrast, Heinrich himself doesn't really *do* all that much.

Lohengrin: Ortrud runs the whole show here, and she would have gotten away with it too if not for those meddling grail knights! Telramund is something of a tool by comparison who doesn't even seem to be aware his wife is manipulating him. Elsa comes off as something of an ingenue, but she's got a will of her own and I like to headcanon that much of her behaviour in act 1 is deliberately performing saintlyhood and Christian mysticism as a legal defense strategy. Sure, a grail knight does come along, but if he hadn't there are worse ways to be perceived by the audience than a consumptive martyr. Big shoutout to Carolyn Walker Bynum's Holy Feast and Holy Fast here, aka the grossest book about medieval Christianity I've had the pleasure to read.

Tristan: sheesh, it's Tristan. Nothing much happens but what little plot there is is set in motion by Isolde deciding to avenge her late husband and kill herself to avoid to unwelcome marriage to a political and dynastic enemy. (Then the date rape drugs come out.)

Meistersinger: Obviously Hans Sachs gets most of the credit for plotting, but really, most of what he does seems to be prompted by Eva at least in part. Realising that her father has gone insane, she uses her limited agency to make the best of a bad situation by first trying to make Walther a Meistersinger (roping in Lene and David) despite his eminent incompetence and psychopathic temperament, then settle for a friend if not a lover by encouraging Hans Sachs to woo her instead. She also manages to keep Walther from murdering anyone on-stage which is quite a feat.

Parsifal: Like with Tristan, there isn't too much plot in the traditional sense, and the characters are hyperstylised archetypes -- excepting Kundry, who is of course one of the most multilayered and complex characters in all of opera (which ... isn't saying much, but still). While Kundry doesn't do all that much to drive the action on-stage, it seems to me she's expressing her agency by helping the grail knights as an attempt at restitution and trying hard to subvert Klingsor's magically-binding orders to the end of her own redemption.

So, yeah. Wagner may have had a massive thing for muscular pretty boys with big swords, but it's really the women who drive the plots and tell the muscular pretty boys what to do, and I wish more directors / reviewers / etc. would pay closer attention to that. Rant over.

TL,DR: just because Wagner was an antisemitic shithead, that doesn't mean he wasn't a crypto-proto-feminist!

#wagner #richard wagner #opera #Der Ring Des Nibelungen #tw: domestic abuse #sieglinde is bae