#anyway this bitch took me the whole fucking month because i have no free time
Text
⠀
⠀and they were cocaptains
⠀⠀⠀⠀(oh my god they were cocaptains)
⠀
[my shop, with prints and stuff :)]
#anyway this bitch took me the whole fucking month because i have no free time#thank you covid for allowing me to work on it a bit more i guess fhgdhfgsjh#ofmd#our flag means death#stede bonnet#edward teach#blackbeard#rhys darby#taika waititi#blackbonnet#gentlebeard#mine#*art#*portrait
400 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thanks to Solitaire by Alice Oseman, I’ve started really enjoying writing in both first person and present tense, and I wondered what the ITP characters’ voices would be like if they were the narrator of their own book from this same perspective. Into the Phantasm is third person throughout after all.
So I decided to write a quick opening for each one because why the hell not?
If you write a lot in third person, feel free to do this with some of your own characters, it has been genuinely really fun. A simple change of perspective can do wonders.
Sarah:
Another night’s gone by with very little sleep. My eyes sting and my bones feel cold, but my alarm clock says that Sarah Taylor shall sleep no more. I think that’s a Shakespeare quote. I barely remember anything I learned in English. Why did I even quote that? Stop being weird, Sarah, it’s too early for that!
My alarm clock is way too loud. Feels like my ears are gonna fall off. I should really get a different one… I’d use my phone like a normal person would, but whenever I hear a phone vibrate I start to panic. No clue why. I’m weird. You should know this by now.
I switch my stupid clock off and get dressed into my blue hoodie and leggings. As usual, I check my mirror to see if I look okay, and as usual, I absolutely don’t. I’m passable at best and I don’t look my best today. The bags under my eyes are darker than ever and I just look really pale… It’s annoying… But, I put on my best smile anyway. I’m seeing Maya and Lillian today. A smile is the least I can do to brighten their day.
Maya:
My name is Maya Cadigan. Trans girl, half welsh, full time bitch. I love my friends, hate my mum, hate my life, hate the entire world to be honest. I just hate a lot of things, but that’s not my fault. If those things didn’t want me to hate them, they should stop being so easy to hate.
I realised I was trans a few months ago and to be honest, it’s been rough. Thanks to my mum being a phobic piece of garbage, I knew way less about being trans and queer than I should have. It took a lot of research and a lot of soul searching for me to say, ‘Hey. I’m a girl. I’m trans. And that’s okay.’
I like being a girl.
I wanna tell my friends. I don’t think I’ll be able to go into college if I don’t have them by my side in all this. I met up with them recently and hearing them deadname me made me wanna tear my whole fucking head off. I didn’t want to blame them but I couldn’t help… hating them for it. Of course, that just made me hate myself so I ended up leaving early and now whenever I think about it I cringe. I can be really illogical sometimes.
Sarah will be the easiest to tell. She’s a lesbian so she’s part of the community anyway, she’s literally the sweetest person I’ve ever met in my life and Lillian… I dunno, I guess I care a little more about Lillian’s opinion of me… Sarah first then. Before I have a chance to overthink and ruin it, I grab my phone and start typing.
Lillian:
Welp, here we go. Another day of being alive.
Late summer can be such a boring time, especially so when you’ve barely seen your friends recently and you always have to message first. It’s okay though, they both have busy lives. They both do a lot of stuff… without me… I’m gonna stop thinking about that now!
I contemplate getting dressed but I don’t really feel like going anywhere or even leaving the house. Pyjama day. Why not? Relax a little for once, why don’t ya, Lilly?
Note to self, stop calling yourself Lilly…
I don’t need my friends to have a good time. I can do all the cooking today, maybe bake something (cheesecake sounds heavenly right now, omg), and of course I can marathon some movies. Could watch a bunch of really terrible horror movies. Seems like a really terrible horror movie kinda day.
I’m fine without Sarah and Maya. Plus, when I see them again, it’ll be like they never left. I’ll be fine. It won’t ever be like the nightmares I’ve had about them leaving me. It won’t. It’ll be fine.
I’ll be fine…
Kora:
Day 272 on the run
What an exciting day this is turning out to be. This parallel dimension I’ve been reading about known as ‘Earth’ was real and I’ve just travelled to it! These magic mirrors really are fascinating. I don’t pretend to know how they work but that’s only because I haven’t finished reading the books I have about them.
I love reading so so much but I can tend to be a little slow because if I don’t give the words a little time to digest then what’s the point of even reading the book? I won’t remember any of it!
I’ve tested the mirror out a few times and it seems that moving only a short distance on Earth and warping again can cause me to appear very far away from where I first used the mirror in the Phantasm. However, when coming back to Earth, it sends me back to around the same place. I have no clue why this happens but there’s got to be an answer. My current theory is that the landmasses are a vastly different size but I have yet to prove it.
I seem to have stumbled upon some kind of training centre called a ‘College.’ Perhaps investigating it will give me some information about this amazing new world. For the sake of research, I must enter!
#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#writing#writers of tumblr#writing community#into the phantasm#queer writers#lgbt fiction#lgbtqia+#sarah taylor#Maya Cadigan#Lillian snow#kora#prose#first person#present tense#perspective change#character writing#character voices#writing advice#kinda?
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
Sigh… People like THAT anon piss me off. I used to write fan-fiction in 2020/21 as well ( now I just journal, I gotta keep up with these immaculate writing skills of mine ;) ) and I’m a perfectionist, so I went through hell and back during that time. I was really trying to make everything about what I published online perfect. It took me about a month to write a single chapter. IT WAS MENTALLY EXHAUSTING SKKSKSMD Was it worth it though? I don’t know I FLOPPED BAD LOL but I think authors on this and every other app deserve some money for what they publish.
Not all writers of course, because some can’t write for fucking shit…. “Oh but it still takes time” Yeah bitch it would take ME less time to read The Pyramid Texts while hanging upside down like
Anyway, people like that anon have a thick ass skull with no brain
no fr bc first of all, that whole “writers doing for free” shit is facts and if you don’t like it 🤷🏽♀️and also IT DIDNT EVEN APPLY TO ME. I’ve gotten one tip before and if you look on my blog there’s not a single place where I’m asking for money so wtf that gotta do with me 💀
and on top of that. don’t come to me about fanfiction being turned to movies are still Shit bc they’re just mad I have actual proof. like
I was in journalism for five years. I did state journalism competitions competing for OP-ED writing, news feature photography and graphic design advertising like be fr 🤧I might have spelling errors but let’s not lie on my writing skills when I’ve literally had stories on wattpad with ppl begging me to translate them in other languages
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
This is just going to be a long post of me bitching about boring childhood issues related to family dynamics.
The take away is do not raise your kids using guilt. Do not communicate with your kids based around guilt. Do not manage your children's behaviors using guilt. It will backfire. Also it's a dick move. Feel free to skip the rest of the post. I'm not gonna use a page break though, I'm not that polite.
My dad exclusively communicates his wants, thoughts, and feelings using guilt. He will never call and say "I miss you when are you going to visit" he will call and say "well I just thought you would want your daughter to be able to see her grandfather while she still can, but if you have plans that are more important, I guess that is your call to make."
Weeks ago he told me that he didn't want to help me move because he is old and has a bad back, but that I should take his truck. We made plans to that effect. Today he called and hinted/implied that his feelings were very hurt that I was only using him for the truck and didn't plan to spend any time with him, and that if he was going to come up and help me move the least I could do was spend a day with him. And of course implied that I am a bad and selfish daughter.
I have been a bad and selfish daughter my entire life. Now I'm going to get much less truck time, and my dad expects me to rearrange my moving plans for his feelings, and if I don't it will be counted against me in the mental ledger my dad is constantly keeping about how mistreated he is.
Once just after my baby was born he brought me a bunch of baby blankets that had been his. 6 months later he saw them and got really upset because it was selfish of me to have them all because what if the good sister got pregnant and wanted them. No amount of pointing out to him that he packed them and brought them would change his mind about me being a bad and selfish daughter.
Every single thing is like this. My whole life. Being a bad and selfish person is the air I breathe. It is the one constant in my life. Inevitably no matter how I try to predict how he will want things to go and make them happen I am a bad and selfish person.
So I'm a bad and selfish person swimming in guilt all the time. So guilt just kinda doesn't affect me anymore. Oh did I fuck up? Did I make a selfish choice and hurt someone? That will happen. I apologize for telling an anecdote that's too long, but I really actually do something terrible and it just gets thrown on the pile of shit to feel bad for.
I do try to be a good person. I do try not to hurt people. I do try to be a good friend and a good mom and a good sister and a good wife, and a good neighbor, but on those inevitable occasions where I do make a mistake I just don't have the room to process it. It just goes on the bad selfish person pile to be filed away and never seen again.
Anyway, sorry for this long anecdote. I know this took up a lot of your time, and was very boring, and probably annoying. That's usually how talking to me goes. It's the bad and selfish person thing.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
week 48
what a week. what. a. fucking. week.
i got so overwhelmed with the things i needed to do to excel in my new tasks at work, i skipped doing the habits i wanted to keep for my own happiness and growth, for now. maybe when i finally catch up at work, i will be able to go back at reading books, going out alone and enjoying my own company.
for real, when i was on the other team, i got so many idle hours at work where i got so bored and eventually gotten used to doing nothing. this didn't help my brain to function correctly tbh.
well, anyway, i am just happy about my new team and new work tasks. i am resolving issues raised by users from business every single day, my brain was busy 12 hours a day, which did not help in making a good and long sleep because whenever i try to sleep it feels like my brain is still busy exercising lol
i learned a lot at work.
December 1, 2023:
i woke up early so i decided to go to work ahead of time. i took a lot of time doing self-care before leaving the house to travel and report to our office at BGC.
i bought mango royal, been craving for it so long and finally enjoyed it during my travel from laguna to alabang.
when i was in market-market, i saw an earrings stand. i decided to take a look and buy a pair of earrings but then i saw "FREE PIERCING" and the impulsiveness strikes. i got a helix piercing! been wanting to do it for so long, and when i finally did, i could not be more happier.
work timeeeeeeee, again, i was busy. until i heard the bad news that my ticket got breached. the thing about breached ticket is that our company will pay the business for these kinds of errors on our end. so that is a bummer, fucking ruined my afternoon. but as resilient as i am, i worked hard rather than sulk, iykyk.
THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY: we were having our monthly meeting for the team's performance for the whole month of november. it was almost reaching the end, when they wanted to make a little recognition to a bride-to-be member of our team. some are giving their kind message to the bride-to-be, when suddenly one of the managers shouted "TANUNGIN MO SI DATH! GALING YAN NG LIVE-IN TAPOS NAGBREAK" while he was laughing and everyone laughed in the meeting room.
when i heard those words, i was insanely mind blown. my reaction was "damnnnnnnnnn" with a shocked face, purposely doing the loud voice to make it known that it was not something to laugh nor talk about. my reaction turned the room of laughter and teasing into silence. it was my boss at work who made that inappropriate and below the belt joke, but who the fuck cares? no one is gonna be entitled enough to tell my story without my permission, especially for those people who didn't know even know one bit of my story.
right then, hearing and seeing my reaction, he said "ay titigil na nga ako"
it's not about the fact that i run out of home then lived with my ex-boyfriend. who the fuck gives a damn? because i know i don't. what am i? 12? what year is this? the '90s?
then one fucking comment was irritating me so much, i wanted to fucking punch the person in the face. "para ka talang iiyak na kanina. pero okay lang yan. hindi ka pa okay. hindi ka pa nakakamove on. very fresh pa lahat kaya affected ka pa." PUTANGINA MO GIRL, THE AUDACITY TO FUCKING GASLIGHT ME INSTEAD OF STATING THE FACT THAT THE MANAGER WHO WAS FEELING ENTITLED ENOUGH TO MAKE THE JOKE WAS NOT SANE.
but after that, i go back to my work, do the things i needed to finish. then the manager suddenly sit beside me and apologized multiple times, explaining he shouldn't have done that, it was inappropriate, blah blah. at that moment, i was feeling fulfilled. i did not let myself down by just understanding people and throw aside the fact that i was mistreated. i stood up head high, i was there for myself. the fact that he knew he was wrong and apologized for it makes it more rewarding.
after work, i went out with my friends at work. the bitch got a little tipsy, but traveled back to laguna.
that was it for my 48th week this year. what a mess.
1 note
·
View note
Text
it’s honestly crazy how much feelings change during pregnancy and after pregnancy. i thought women lied when they said that after the had their babies they hated their spouse but god damn. somedays i fucking hate you. i hate that you get to be so free. (i fucking love my baby v to death don’t get me wrong) i hate that you can use the bathroom when you want. eat when you want. shower when you want. game when you want. leave when you want. do whatever you want. you still come first. after baby i comes last last. last. last.
the men who say being a stay at home mom easy is are fucking lying and know nothing. being a stay at home mom is a blessing but yet such a big curse. my mind is always in 20 different spots, thinking a billion different things. a constant battle.
ppd and ppa took over my whole life after my baby and it only has been two and a half months. it’s not super bad to the point of wanting to die or anything crazy and i can hide it when my baby is awake thankfully.
the amount of times i have to completely stop what i’m doing to go make sure baby v is alive and breathing. i cant go to the store with out thinking about “what would happen i died and had to leave my baby” “i need to get back to my baby in our home where no one can hurt us” the constant fears running through my head are driving me insane.
you (baby’s father) get to be so fucking free. you don’t have to drop what you’re doing every time baby v has been crying. you don’t have the constant fear of death on your kind. you don’t have to feed every time she’s hungry even though your nipples feel like they are going to fall off or bleed. you don’t have to change every. single. god. damn. fucking. diaper. when is the last time you changed a fucking diaper?? when’s the last time you thought in your fucking head “hey let me tell her i got it this time let me help her out”. when’s the last time you got up in the middle of the night with her and not the get up in the middle of the night just to look at home because her crying woke you up. get the fuck up yourself and cuddle her. bitch. it honestly pisses me off so fucking bad. i get so mad thinking about how little you do. fuck you baby father. fuck you.
but fuck i also love you so much. it’s such a weird fucking thing. i really just don’t understand it. i don’t think i will ever¿ i’m not saying he doesn’t help me because he does. it’s just he doesn’t do as much as i do. he doesn’t help as much as i have to help her. i understand he works but that does not mean he doesn’t have to help me. help me more anyways. like don’t ask me if i want you to change a diaper because my answer will be “no i got it” just fucking do it when you know she needs it. it’s simple. he knows i’m the type of girl who just wants it to be done for her and not to be asked if i want help. no i don’t want your kitty help i’m strong and independent but yes you dumb mother fucker i want your help. i can feel myself being extra stand off ish and angry with him some days literally as soon as he walks through the door to greet us. and i don’t understand why because i miss him through the day and want him to be around but the moment i sense his presence some days i just want to scream at the top of my lungs for nothing. it’s such a weird feeling from going from teenage butterfly love to pure rage.
0 notes
Text
Burn The Witch 23 - Haunted Heart [Bucky Barnes x Reader]
A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: Enemies to lovers, lovers to enemies, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns, knives.
Summary: Coming home can cause issues.
Series Masterlist
SIX MONTHS LATER
You flipped the knife in your hand as the guy tied to the chair glared at you.
“You know,” you trailed off, “I’ve had a really shitty couple of months, Johnny- can I call you Johnny?”
“No.”
“Rude,” you commented, “Fine. John. I’ve had a really shitty couple of months so you really don’t want to try me right now. Just tell me where I can find your boss.”
“You’ll never find him you stupid bitch.”
You rolled your eyes.
“Since I’m going to kill you in a couple of minutes I feel like I can share some things with you,” you said, “My best friend says I keep everything bottled and I should talk about my feelings.”
“Go fuck yourself.”
“See, that’s exactly how I feel!” you pointed at him, “Thank you. I mean, I feel angry at myself. I kind of fucked up with the man I love.”
“Jesus Christ, just kill me already.”
“I’m waiting for a text to do that Johnny,” you pointed out, waving your phone at him. “So, I tricked him and used him and threw him to wolves. And then Accords 2.0 didn’t pass and he has been pardoned once again, and he’s a free man now. I have a strong feeling that he’s not the ‘forgive and forget’ type of guy. You know, assassin to assassin.”
“You’re the chattiest assassin I’ve ever met.”
“Thank you, I’m trying to improve myself,” you said, “I mean what exactly should I do? I don’t even trust my agency at this point, my handler lied to me and I have been at this fucking place for six months now, hunting you down. Well, your boss but…”
“You’ll never find him.”
“We’ll see about that my friend,” you said, “So anyway, like what am I supposed to do? I lost the one guy I actually loved. How do you cope with that? Because drinking doesn’t work, sleeping with others doesn’t work…. Nothing seems to—“ you were cut off when your phone vibrated and you touched the screen to open the text message.
From: Julian
Go for it.
“Wait, no no no, I’ll talk—“
“Kind of too late,” you pointed the gun at him, “Nice to meet you Johnny.”
With that you pulled the trigger, silencer doing its job as there was no loud bang or anything. His body fell back with the impact, and you heaved a sigh.
“Maybe I need a therapist I can’t kill,” you mumbled and walked out of the warehouse to approach the car before opening the door to the passenger seat to get in.
“Is it done?” Julian asked and you nodded, rubbing at your eyes.
“Yep.”
“Are you hungry?”
You made a face, “Just because the General sent you here does not mean we’re going to become buddies.”
“I’m not trying to become buddies with you,” Julian stated, “I just want to eat fries and there’s a two for one deal.”
You eyed him up and down.
“Fine, I could eat fries.” You leaned back in the seat as he started driving, keeping your eyes on the road. Soon enough, you reached the city center and Julian got fries from a food truck, then sat across from you.
“So,” he said, “You do realize this whole thing would’ve been over by now if we actually worked together?”
“I’m not going on the field with you.”
“The General sent me here to help you.”
You dipped the fry into sauce, then popped it into your mouth, “You can help me by pretending you’re not here.”
“Y/N.”
“You know what they say Julian. Fool me once…”
“Don’t tell me you’re still holding that grudge.”
“You mean when you left me behind to die on the last mission we were together?” you asked back, “That grudge?”
“I told you—“
“I’m not going to talk about that with you,” you cut him off, “And I work better alone. Who told you we could waste the guy by the way?”
“The General.”
You grabbed the salt shaker to pour some salt on the fries, causing Julian to make a face.
“Are you kidding me? That was salty enough-“
“Why did he not text me?”
“No idea. Maybe he’s avoiding you because he promised you handler and here you are. Field spy.”
Your jaw clenched.
Or maybe he’s avoiding me because he fucking lied to me.
You had to give it to him, it was the perfect plan. The moment he had suspected you were getting too close to Bucky, he had come up with the one thing he knew that would make you switch sides.
And that-
That was below the belt yes, but that was also masterly.
But at the end of the day, you barely had two people to trust in the entire world, and you seriously doubted you could ever forgive the General for what he had done. You knew he held duty above all, above family and surely above you, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.
You shook your head at yourself and grabbed another piece of fry.
“So um…” Julian shifted his weight, “Are you okay?”
You shot him a glare, arching a brow, “Peachy.”
“No I mean… About Barnes.”
“What are you talking about?”
“This whole Accords 2.0 failure, there’s no way we could go after him again.”
“I don’t want to go after him again.”
“You don’t want revenge?”
That made you straighten up your back and you put the fry down, “And why exactly would I want revenge?”
That made Julian fall silent and you nibbled on your lip.
“What exactly did the General tell you before you came here?”
“That there was a job here.”
“Bullshit,” you replied way too quickly, “Did he send you here to be my babysitter? He thinks I’ll go after Barnes myself is that it? That’s why they sent you here months after I left the country but right after Accords 2.0 didn’t pass.”
Julian licked his lips.
“Listen, the agency wants to keep you safe—“ he started but then his phone beeped. He grabbed it to take aa look at the screen, then cussed under his breath.
“What?”
“Check your texts.”
You touched the screen and frowned as your eyes skimmed the text.
From: General
Time to come home.
“Well,” you muttered, your heart dropping to your stomach, “Shit.”
***
Coming back home was harder than ever now. After catching up with Keith and Chloe, you were taken to your new apartment that was given to you by the agency as usual, and for the whole night you couldn’t sleep.
Even if there was no trace of Bucky in your new apartment –in your new life, you still couldn’t shake off this feeling. It was as if the moment you had entered the country, Bucky had entered your life in an instant.
Odds were, you wouldn’t really see him again. After all it was a big city, and Bucky wasn’t exactly the social type.
So your first week back in New York wasn’t exactly terrible. You were still waiting for your orders while getting to know to the city slowly, because after long missions it always took time for you to remember you had a real life there, real memories—
Well, as real as it could be, for a spy.
“Just see it as a vacation,” Chloe had said, “They threw you into another mission as soon as you got out of the country, it’s just a delayed vacation.”
As far as vacations went though, this one just sucked.
Maybe it was because you couldn’t keep away from places you and Bucky had been too, like this coffee place where you had first officially met.
You sipped your coffee, scrolling down on the news website as your eyes skimmed yet another article about Accords and whether you could trust superheroes or not, but you were soon distracted when someone pulled the seat across from you, making you look up from your phone.
And as soon as you did, your heart dropped.
You had to give it to the General, he was manipulative, he was a liar and he had betrayed your trust terribly but the one thing he had done right was training you well. Aside from that one second, you managed to adapt a look of nonchalance on your face, slowly putting your phone down.
“Hello Cap.”
Sam raised his brows and eyed you up and down.
“You’re back?”
You could swear he could hear your heartbeat and you shrugged your shoulders, looking around.
“Yeah,” you said, “Big apple and everything.”
“So much for the small town girl.”
“I have never been a small town girl,” you drawled, “Never been to Oregon either.”
“Yeah, I can tell.”
You turned your coffee cup on the table just so you could do something with your hands.
“Why?” he asked after a beat and you shifted your weight despite your whole training of feeling calm and collected, nervousness hitting you out of nowhere.
“You’re a veteran, Wilson,” you managed to say, “You don’t need me to tell you how the chain of command works. Army doesn’t care how we feel about orders.”
“I’m very familiar with how chain of command works,” he pointed out, “But you’re not a soldier, Y/N. You’re a spy.”
“That makes it even worse,” you stated, “I know it sounds like an excuse, but… you don’t know how my agency works. I don’t get to say no to orders, and I sure as hell don’t get to blow my own cover.”
“But you wanted to, didn’t you?”
Jesus Christ, Wilson was really good at this observation thing.
“Doesn’t matter what I want,” you said, “I’m no use to anyone if I develop a conscience.”
“But you did,” he insisted, “Why else would you come to help us? Why else would you warn him beforehand?”
“He told you about that?”
He shot you a look, “What do you think, Y/N?”
You scoffed a laughter. “I was feeling generous,” you said, “No other reason.”
He kept his gaze on you for a couple of seconds, as if trying to see whether you would cave before he took a deep breath.
“You know he was going to propose, right?”
That-
That was just too much. You could feel your jaw hanging as you stared at him in complete silence, his words echoing in your ears.
“No,” you said after a moment, then shook your head fervently, your nose in the air, “No you’re wrong.”
“I’m not,” Sam said, “Apparently he was looking for this… house painted in white with—a red door or something.”
Don’t cry.
Do not fucking cry.
Spies don’t cry over heartbreak.
You clenched your jaw and blinked back the tears, straightening your back.
“It’s a good thing he didn’t get to, then.”
“Y/N, he loved you.”
“No Sam, he loved someone who doesn’t exist,” you replied, “Sweet small town girl with sundresses and smiles and some house in the suburbs with kids and all that shit. Girls like me don’t get that ending, I have way too much blood on my hands.”
He pressed his lips together and you cleared your throat.
“How much does he hate me?”
“Why do you think he hates you?”
“Assassins aren’t good at forgiving,” you said, “I would know, we don’t have that talent.”
“That’s not a talent, that’s a choice.”
“It really isn’t,” you muttered, “So?”
“Why don’t you ask him?”
You let out a bitter laugh, “Yeah no. Actions have consequences and I’d rather not cross paths with the deadliest assassin in the world after double crossing him.”
“But you want him to forgive you.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Intuition,” he said and pushed his chair back to stand up.
“He didn’t kill your father, Y/N.”
You heaved a sigh.
“I know,” you said, “Trust me, I would’ve walked away so much easier if he had.”
“Enjoy your coffee,” he said and walked out of the coffee house. You threw your head back, closing your eyes.
“Yep. I shouldn’t have come back.”
***
“I never thought I’d say this, but I kind of hate that we’re not living so close anymore,” you pressed the phone between your shoulder and your ear and opened the door to your apartment as Keith chuckled.
“I knew you’d miss me.”
“Shut up.”
“You’re a softie deep inside. Very very deep inside.”
“If you repeat that in front of anyone I swear to God…” you muttered and he groaned.
“Have I told you they’re putting me in the same team as Julian?”
“You guys have a new mission?”
“Not a long one probably.”
“Why the fuck am I—“
“Because you’re on a vacation,” he cut you off, “And also they’re probably going to make you a handler, that’s worth waiting for.”
“That or….”
“We’re not talking about that on the phone,” Keith said quickly, “Amateur.”
“Careful there, I’ll outrank you soon enough,” you said, walking to the bathroom to wash your hands. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Alright, see you later!” he said and hung up. You put your phone into your pocket, then washed your hands and made your way to the kitchen.
It was only when you put the wine bottle back into the fridge that you noticed something was off. Your body moved on its own accord, before you knew it you had already grabbed the knife in your boots and threw it to the figure in the dark corner of the room but he easily caught it, metal hitting what sounded like another kind of metal before he stepped out of the corner. Your breath caught in your throat, and for the first time in your life you froze, all the training leaving your mind.
You were supposed to be looking for a weapon, any kind of weapon but somehow, your body refused to move.
Bucky turned your knife in his hands, his gaze pinning you to your spot before he tilted his head.
“Hi honey,” he said, his voice way too cold. “I’m home.”
Chapter 24
657 notes
·
View notes
Text
𝑆𝑎𝑝𝑛𝑎𝑝𝑠 𝐶ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑//𝑆𝑎𝑝𝑛𝑎𝑝 𝑝𝑡 4
Masterlist // child reader ML //
Sapnap x reader !p !child reader
Pronouns used: none specified!
Warnings: swearing, mentions of death, casinos
➳➳➳➳➳┄┄※┄┄➳➳➳➳➳
𝐊𝐢𝐧𝗼𝐤𝗼 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝗼𝐰??
Quackity was telling you all of his plans
He rambled on for hours of his ideas for casinos and how he was going to marry Karl and sapnap
It sounded great
He had his whole plan set up! He even had Sam helping him with the building
But then he left
Just like everyone else
But that was fine! You were just with sapnap
Before Karl came running over rambling on about needed to move his library
He had a library?
“[Redacted] you need to stay close, please”
You looked at him weirdly
Who the fuck was [redacted]
“Karl my names Y/n you idiot” “flame..” “sorry”
He didn’t even notice it and then you had to spend the next couple days hauling over 100 books
“Oo hey what are these! The covers look really weird”
You had found his time travel books
Woops
That man raced over and in the kindest way possible, snatched it from your hands
“Don’t touch those, they are my special books”
You just shrugged and let him be, he freaks you out enough
So you all traveled to this area in the spruce forest and built a really ugly mushroom hut
But hey it’s fine! Foolish thankfully came around later that day and made everything better
So you stuck around
Maybe you needed this, this new start
Oh but prime knows that wouldnt last long
Karl started forgetting
At first it was simple things as just forgetting where he was or little stumbles with names
But eventually he was going away longer and longer
He started calling you by these strange names, some that sound Victorian and western and others that are unlike you
One day he didn’t call you by your name at all
You were hanging around the Sakura trees and the big yin Yang pond waiting for sapnap to come back with George
Then you saw Karl exit the library, running up to him for a hug
It’s been two months since you’ve seen him
You fucking hated it but you couldn’t help but consider him another parental figure
He loved it
But he just stood there as you wrapped your arms around him
Expecting the usual “[reda]- Y/n, I’ve missed you so much my sweet flame!”
But there was nothing just a sad one sided hug
“Hello? I’m sorry but do I know you?”
You were ready to cry
“I’m sorry, I uh must’ve mistaken you for the wrong person” “No that’s fine! Hugs are nice?”
So you left and ran into the library
Scouring throughout all of the books until you found them
The same 8 books you shrugged away
You read through all of them along with Karl’s other journals
You didn’t like going through his stuff especially, a whole invasion of privacy
The more you read the worse it got
What were you gonna tell Sapnap?
Who the hell is James, and [redacted]?
And why couldn’t he stop
It’s no use anymore
You were simply just forgotten
𝐋𝗼𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐬
The closer you got to the large building, the sicker you got
Kinoko Kingdom was supposed to be your free pass
But somehow you always end up here
You called for Sam on the comms waiting for the beep
The inside looked great to say the least
“What are your past relationships with the prisoner?” “No answer.”
“Where are you currently resided?” “No answer”
“Do you believe the prisoner deserves his sentence?” “Maybe”
You put all your shit in the locker and followed him through all the safety checks
“I’m glad you didn’t bring anything with you”
You stood on the platform heart racing as the lava went down
It was like a ticking time bomb
The small squeaks and scratches of the hovering bridge
He just stared at you
That sick stupid mask was broken by tommy that day in the black stone room
So you had to look into his face
Lets just say he looks good in Orange
“Barrier up or down?” “Down”
He backed up into the corner as you stepped in
Smiling
Once the lava cascaded down your smile turned into a sick frown
“Hello” is that all he had to fucking say?
“Screw you. Fuck you. Damn you”
He just looked you a small chuckle escaping from his lips
“Those all mean the same thing.” “Well I’ve been living in cinnamon town for the past couple months, and I’m ready to fucking burn some buns”
Yeah he just laughed
“I’ve missed you Hot shot”
“You ruined our damn life!”
Someone went quiet
“If you didn’t have to have a petty little war, or criminalize children we could’ve been fine! It could’ve just been you, dad, me, and George.”
You were pissed, everyone just kept leaving you.
Tommy and Tubbo, Quackity, Karl, Dream, and hell even Wilbur
“You come and visit me, after not having seen me for months and you just yell? Not a hello or ‘how are you dream?’ ‘How’s prison dream’ ‘how can I help you get out of this damn place’ “
You just sat down ready to just walk out into the lava
“I’ve been stuck here for months! None of you even cared enough to visit me, hell even Tommy came around.”
You might have felt a little bad after leaving him
The prison was cold even tho lava was flowing right there
“Why would you leave the discs alone..” “Because I had to end it.”
What were you doing here
What were you planning on saying?
“So, what do you do in prison”
“I have a clock.”
You got up to go look at the pretty clock
Then threw it at his face
“Ow” “deal with it bitch”
The longer you stayed the worse the feeling in your stomach got
so you buzzed for Sam waving goodbye
“Wait.. Do they miss me?” “Can’t say, but I think this may be for the best.”
He wanted his best friends
But he just got the annoying teenager
Oh but that wouldn’t be the last
𝐋𝐚𝐬 𝐍𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐬
You got a letter in the mail one day
Who the hell uses letters??
You were shocked to see the address and the small post card
“Come around some time”-Quackity
Ans on the back it had the cords
Oh well what did you have to loose? Sapnap was focused on Karl
and well Karl didn’t even know you
So you set off
It took you a couple hours travel by horse to get to the desert area
The large sign blaring in the red text
You gotta admit the place looked beautiful
There was a giant dick and different shops
You were shocked to see this random un human like guy
“Hello, I am Charlie a totally human guy!”
Yeah totally not slime
“I’m uh, Y/n?” He reached out for a handshake sort of thing
“Dap me up!” “Another time Charlie”
Maybe when you had hand sanitizer
“Ohh so your Y/n! Mister Quackity talks about you all the time, come on in!”
You were skeptical but followed anyways
Stopping in your tracks when you saw Fundy
“Furry?” “Fire shit?”
You went over to give him a side hug, ruffling his fur
“What the hell are you doing here ginger boy!” “Oh you know, just escaping nightmares”
You were confused then just let him be
You walked to the entry way of the place
A beautiful pond with flowers and an arch
“Did what the place where Mr. Quackity was going to propose!”
Going to?
You shrugged it off following inside
You hated to admit it, but you were excited to see him
Yeah you really needed a parental figure in your life at the moment
So when you saw him, he immediately pick you up in a hug
You didn’t fail to notice his change in appearance
That beanie stayed the same tho
Thank god
“Hey hey! Let me show you around the place, we can also go for lunch and talk.”
The casino looked great to say the least
Loud music booming from the speakers, along with the live jazz band on the side
Slot machines were going off every minute
“Have a chip, something to remember this by”
He handed you a red poker chip
It was a cool one tho, in the middle has a blocky sort of smile
Creepy and dopey.. sick!
So you put it around a spare silver chain
“So how have you been kid? ‘Ts been a while hasn’t it.” “Could be better..”
You both walked around the city in silence, offering to go in the super model shop
“No” “why not” “keep walking”
On your way to lunch you had to squint at what you were seeing
“Oh my goodness you’re still alive?!” “You’re alive!?”
You and revivebur just stared at one another
“Yeah he came back after I died!” “you what now-“
You just stared at Tommy and back to Wilbur
Oh god those shrooms were messing with your head
You should’ve gotten out of there a while ago
Quackity came over placing his hands on your shoulders
“Do I have to execute you both? Get off my damn property”
“Sorry Q. Say, Y/n wanna join Lmanburg 2.0?”
You back away holding your hands up
“I denied that offer once, and I’ll do it again. Fucking zombie freaks”
You obviously muttered the last part
Why the fuck did dream revive those two shits??
When did Tommy even die??
Your visit here has just gotten weirder and weirder
𝐌𝗼𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬
Quackity got you away from the brits as quick as he could
So he brought you over to his office
“So kid, how’s your dad..”
Ah you expected this question
“How the fuck am I supposed to know. He’s living his life, Karl’s time traveling! Oh yeah did I mention he doesn’t even remember me.”
He looked at you with wide eyes
“So I’m not the only one they forgot..”
You slammed you hands on the fable dramatizing the situation
“How would you feel about moving here? I mean you could work for me in the casino!”
You thought about it for a second
You have two options
1. Live in shroom town with bubbles
2. Move to las Nevada’s with Quackity
You were sure Sapnap wouldn’t mind
I mean would he even care?
He hasn’t for the past couple months!
“You feel abandoned there, over here there are hundreds of people. You’ll have the time of your life”
You thought about it for a sec
“Alright hand me a contract”
So you signed
Making deals with the devil huh
Little did you know it would cost you your life
Devils little soul
➳➳➳➳➳┄┄※┄┄➳➳➳➳➳
and this is the finale! I will take requests for sapnaps child, and I’ll do some shit with Quackity and the casino and go in more depth if wanted!
As always request and ask anything! And ask if you want to be on a taglist (child reader or general)
For those on the taglist I don’t know if you wanted to be tagged for all child reader shit or just dreams child.. so please tell me :)
@creatorofstars @georgenctfound @samistheidiot @smolbox-png @ghostlysenses @stellarinstigator @bobaducky
#sapnaps child#sapnap x reader#sapnap#sapnap x y/n#karl jacobs x y/n#karl jacobs x reader#quackity x reader#quackity x you#dsmp#mcyt#mcyt x reader#dream smp x reader#wilbur soot#tommy innit#kinoko kingdom#dream smp prison#las navadas#child reader
460 notes
·
View notes
Text
sleepy boys inc x gn!teen! reader headcannons
trying something new! i like bbs and all, but i wanted to write for other youtubers! lemme know if yall wanna see more content like this lol.
this takes place in a minecraft au!!! also, mentions of bad parenting/abusive parents
wc: 2,319
okay the sleepy boys
chaos incarnated, all of them. you can’t deny it
so, when tommy invites a friend from a local village, at first, everyone else is skeptical. since when has tommy made a friend who didn’t hate him within 20 minutes from all the screaming and insults he spewed?
unlike his friends, phil is more excited than anything. though he isn’t tommy’s dad, he feels like it sometimes, so he really wants to meet this new person who has caught the youngest’s attention
techno is very much not on board. he has a hard time trusting people at first glance and having been friends with tommy for the longest, he knows that tommy readily jumps the gun and attempts to befriend literally anything just because he can
and wilbur? indifferent for the most part. yes, he feels the need to make sure tommy is protected and cared for, but he also recognizes that this situation is out of his hands. the best he can do is hope that their friend isn’t an absolute asshole
so, it’s saturday. all three men are sitting on the couch in phil’s cottage, talking amongst themselves as they wait for tommy to come back. techno makes a joke about murdering them, which leads to phil scolding him about his violent tendencies
“you haven’t even met them yet, techno, what the fuck.”
wilbur is simply adding fuel to the fire, making little remarks here and there and watching the whole thing escalate to phil lecturing the piglin hybrid.
because of this, not one of them had noticed that tommy returned, with his newest friend. they both stopped at the sight of phil in dad mode, tommy considering just turning around and taking his friend as far away as physically possible
too late, since techno’s sixth sense made him whip around and stare at the newcomer. this made phil stop lecturing and wilbur quit giggling long enough for tommy to introduce his friend
after saying their name, the friend lifted their hand shyly, face burning from slight embarrassment. their other hand was latched onto tommy’s, feeling intimidated.
can you blame them? the fucking blood god looks like they wanna skewer them and cook them over a campfire.
tommy took notice of their shyness and cleared his throat, “we were planning on going to the carnival in their village if you three assholes feel like tagging along.”
like there was any way they were gonna let tommy and his friend go out without chaperones.
tommy turned back to his friend, “give me a second, i’m gonna go grab my sword just in case.” and proceeded to run up the stairs and towards the guest bedroom in phil’s house that he claimed.
the millisecond he was out of earshot, techno grabbed his friend by the front of the shirt.
“what are your intentions with tommy?”
the friend blinked once, twice, then bit back a smile. “you’re asking that as if i’m about to date that motherfucker.”
this time, it was wilbur who bit back a grin of his own. who would’ve expected the originally shy kid to have replied like that????
techno’s brain short circuited and his grip on their shirt loosened slightly. did.... did this kid just brush off his question???
“can you put me down? you’re gonna stretch my shirt.”
techno’s brain blinked back into focus and he gripped the kid’s shirt harder, shoving them against the nearest wall. “i asked a question, kid.”
“you know, tommy told me something like this would happen. i’m glad i came prepared.” and then, tommy’s friend sucked in a deep breath. techno leaned back, expecting the worst...
“MWISTER TECHNWOBWADE, PWEASE PUT MWE DOWN BEFWORE I SCWEAM”
oh god, this was far worse than anything he thought of.
he dropped the teen out of disgust more than anything, reeling backwards. if there was one thing that haunted his dreams, it was uwu-speak.
phil started howling of laughter, clutching his stomach and hunching over. originally he was going to stop techno from threatening a literal child but this outcome was so much better than anything he was anticipating
wilbur was no better, already tearing up from how hard he was snickering. he started choking on his own spit at one point, smacking his arm against the couch.
tommy was so fucking confused when he came back down the stairs, seeing the mayhem that was, for once, not caused by him. he glanced at his friend, who had the world’s biggest shiteating grin.
yeah, they were gonna fit in just fine.
and they did! phil took them under his wing (both physically and metaphorically) and allowed them to come visit his home whenever they wished. and whenever they did, phil was the first to ask how they’ve been and what they were up to
to phil’s surprise, the kid was overall calm in their choice of activities. things like playing soccer or drawing or figuring out how to learn instruments in their free time. it seemed like they were desperate to get their hands on anything and everything just to learn
he found it funny, though, when their chaotic side shone through. they easily were on tommy’s level when they got into that headspace and it was so hilarious to him.
his favorite memory of the kid was when they walked into the house and marched right up to where techno was reading idly in the corner. planting their hands on their hips, they spoke.
“if you were to fuck a clone of yourself, would it be masturbation or would you be considered gay?”
phil, who was washing the dishes six feet away from them, just about crumbled into a ball on the floor from how hard he was laughing and sobbing.
of all questions, that was the one that came out.
but he had no idea that the chaos was a coping mechanism. he just thought they were naturally like that in their free time.
he soon found out the truth when they came home with tommy, who was cursing up a fit, visibly angry. his friend was slumped over, as if trying to hide themselves from the world
when phil asked what had happened, tommy exploded.
“their fucking dad took all their money from their savings! said he needed it more than them and when they asked for it back, he called them a fucking disappointment! that fucking bitch--”
phil can count very few times when he felt true anger and he can confirm that when tommy had told him what had gone down, he saw red.
but he knew better than to outwardly show it. judging by how hunched over and defeated the kid was, what they needed was a stable support system
so he walked over and shut tommy up with a hand on his shoulder, “why don’t we take the rest of the night to build up that game room you wanted in the basement. i’m sure if we knock it out before techno and wil are supposed to be back, we can all play something like monopoly.”
seeing where phil was headed, tommy nodded and brushed away his anger. he knew that what his friend needed was a serious cheering up. tommy ran towards his guest bedroom, claiming that he was going to find his blocks.
phil crouched in front of the teen, tilting their head up to look him in the eyes. “you’re not a disappointment. you’re an amazing person with a chaotic joke machine going 120 kilos over the speed limit in your head and you are talented. your dad doesn’t know shit about what you’re capable of doing.”
oh boy, the kid’s crying. those are tears, full on tears.
that night was one of the best nights of their life, however. they enjoyed the entire three hour long game of monopoly where they watched the light leave everyone’s eyes. it was funny when wilbur lunged across the table when he landed on a railroad, out for phil’s blood.
speaking of wilbur, he enjoyed every minute in the kid’s presence. they often asked creative and random questions and went along with the abstract jokes he made, the two of them laughing heartily the entire time.
when the kid first mentioned wanting to learn how to play the guitar, he practically burst through the wall of the room next door, breathing heavily and exaggeratedly.
“did someone say guitar”
yeah, he’s feral. that’s canon.
they proceeded to spend the entire day in phil’s garden, each of them equipped with a guitar. despite their outwardly smooth brain and stupid demeanor, the teen was a fast learner and could play the most basic chords by the time the sun was setting.
wilbur’s favorite moment was the first night they met, when they went to the carnival. there was the game where you shoot the water and fill up the balloons and the kid was going head to head against techno and tommy.
it was when techno won that the teen turned to techno with murder in their eyes and spoke in a deadpan tone of voice,
“you’re lucky you won this time, you gentrified mayo monkey.”
wilbur’s jaw dropped, as did techno and phil’s. tommy was already in hysterics, smacking his hand against the counter that held the guns.
needless to say, wilbur found his favorite, not-quite sibling in a heartbeat.
techno was the last to come around with the child. can you blame him? every time he tried to threaten them or had beaten them at something, they would respond in a cryptic threat--
“i’m going to pee your pants if you don’t let me win”
or just brushed him off. without a second thought.
“anyways, i was murdering a chicken the other day, and the fucker had the audacity to ribbit at me.”
to say he was confused was an understatement. he was terrified of the fact that a literal child held so much power and disinterest in things like their own life. so for the first few months, he avoided them.
but he had seen past that when it was around midnight on a weekday. tommy was hanging out with tubbo and ranboo in their village miles away from the area. wilbur was out drinking with schlatt, niki, and fundy, and phil was already asleep.
techno wasn’t too far behind, sitting in front of the fireplace and staring out of the window that showed the front yard. it was only then when he saw the flash of a familiar face and looked closer as the teen walked up to the house quietly. their head was down and they carried a small bag with them.
techno opened the front door with a long creak as they reached the porch steps. it was only when they jumped and looked up in surprise that techno had noticed a deep bruise on their left cheek in the moonlight.
despite the fact that he kept away from them, techno was very protective and territorial of tommy, phil, and wilbur. and since they were attached to the teen, he became protective of them as well.
so all the voices in his head went quiet for a second. before exploding into a mixture of screams and threats, all leading back to protecting the child in front of him.
without thinking, he reached forward and cupped their face for a better view of the bruise. at the warm and soft touch, tears slipped down the kid’s cheeks and they sniffed pathetically.
the voices quickly took a 180, all screaming to take care of them. make them feel better. so, techno led the kid inside and let them spend the night in his room, with them falling asleep on the bed and him falling asleep on the rocking chair in his room.
phil did not hesitate to officially declare himself as the teen’s official father, saying that their biological father was a “little bitch”
now somewhat living with the teen, techno found an appreciation for their quieter moments, when they were reading or simply daydreaming. it was cute, in his eyes. but he also grew to enjoy when they were absolutely feral, especially toward tommy.
his favorite moment with them was when they had gifted tommy a music disc for his birthday. it was sweet and sentimental and tommy just about burst into tears when he saw it.
all of the sappiness quickly vanished when tommy put it into a jukebox.
“FUCK THIS PUSSY, BOY, FUCK. FUCK IT RIGHT, BOY--”
tommy had let out the most terrified scream and it practically engrained itself into techno’s brain. it was the first time he ever laughed at something the teen had done and the teen felt proud of themselves.
and finally, tommy. he was already happy to call himself a friend of the teen’s. they were like peas in a pod, working together.
tommy came to them when his insecurity felt heavy and they came to him whenever their dad’s words got to them. they had a nice system of dependency on one another and neither of them would trade it for the world.
tommy’s favorite moment of being friends with them was during their first birthday living in phil’s house. it was a birthday befitting their personality, with brightly color streamers hung and confetti all over the floor. he knew that they enjoyed it severely and once the cake was cut, the kid turned to phil.
“phil, where’s the big tiddy strippers i requested?”
tommy was GONE
he all but choked on his slice of cake and walked away, shaking his head while trying to stifle his giggles. but when he heard phil’s scream of “WHAT”, he just lost it.
all in all, his friend had made a fine part of the sleepy boys. they were a happy face in an otherwise somewhat bleak and dangerous world. and all four men appreciated it.
#sleepy boys x reader#sleepy bois x reader#sleepy bois inc#sleepy boys inc#sbi x reader#x reader#reader insert#teen! reader#mcyt x reader#minecraft youtubers#minecraft youtubers x reader#dreamsmp x reader
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Handcuffed Together: 16
Not again
‘I- what?’ you asked groggily.
‘Just here, take some water. Take it easy for a few minutes’ Loki said while handing you a bottle of water.
You opened the bottle and took a sip. You closed it and handed it back to Loki. Closing your eyes you let the headache past, while leaning against the side of the transparent box the two of you were in.
‘(Y/N)?’ Loki asked
You didn’t respond.
‘(Y/N)?’ he tried again. ‘Please say something’ he said after you still didn’t respond.
‘Don’t’ you finally answered.
‘How are you feeling?’ he asked
‘Like I have the worst hangover in my life. The fact that I’m handcuffed to you, doesn’t make it any better’ you grumbled.
Loki stayed silent for a while. You were focusing on how your body was aching, your head still pounding and how you wanted nothing more than to closer your eyes and sleep.
‘I thought you would be happy to see me again’ Loki softly spoke.
‘Fucking thrilled’ you replied sarcastically.
‘Can you drop the attitude for one second and actually talk to me like an adult?’ Loki snapped.
‘WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? TALKING LIKE AN ADULT? WHEN ALL YOU DO IS LEAVE LIKE THE SCARED LITTLE CHILD THAT YOU ARE’ you yelled at him.
Loki visibly flinched at your anger, and a part of you wanted nothing more than to cuddle closer and work it all out. But the other part, the part that had waited five months for Loki come back, contact you or at least give you some sort of sign that he was okay, couldn’t be ignored.
‘I did it for your safety’ Loki answered.
‘My safety?’ you scoffed. ‘And how did that work out…’ you gestured at the box the two of you were sitting in.
‘It not my fault that you followed that second-rate sorcerer to the Collector!’ Loki defensively said.
‘It’s not? The only reason he was going, was because he heard that you were here. God, what the hell have you been up to all this time?’ you asked.
‘Well, trapped in a box. In case you hadn’t noticed’ he sarcastically replied.
‘Seriously?’ you shot back. ‘And who was able to catch the great God of Mischief and running away?’
‘Thanos’ Loki replied sharply.
‘What?’ you asked in disbelief
‘Thanos got to the Collector first. Apparently there is a price on my head, and yours too. In case you forget the promise that was made to me’ he looked away from you, staring at the empty box beside yours.
‘I haven’t’ you whispered.
‘Well anyway, even tough we’re in trouble, we’re together. Isn’t this what you wanted? As long as we are together’ he mocked.
‘If this was so inevitable why leave?’ you hissed.
‘Because that was the only way to keep you as safe as possible. And I didn’t leave you alone, the whole team was there. I’m sure by now there is half a plan in place? Can you tell me about it?’ he asked.
Now it was your time to look away. ‘I don’t know’ you shrugged.
‘You don’t know?’ Loki asked surprised.
‘No, I don’t know’ you bitterly answered.
‘Why don’t you know? What have you guys been doing for the last months?’ he asked.
‘Never mind’ you said.
He grabbed the side of your cheek with his free hand to make you look at him. ‘I hope you and your team have not underestimated this threat’ Loki said. You saw the anger filling his eyes.
You slapped the hand resting on your cheek away. ‘Of course, we haven’t! The team has been working really hard. It’s insulting to suggest otherwise’ you said.
‘Then, why don’t you know?’ Loki asked again.
‘BECAUSE, I haven’t been part of the team a few weeks after you left. HAPPY NOW?’ you half yelled.
‘WHAT?’ Loki asked in disbelief.
‘Never mind, I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to get some sleep. How do you even sleep in this tiny excuse for a prison’ you grumbled. The prison box had coloured see through glass. It was about two meters high, but only 2 by 1 meters wide. With two people, it didn’t give you much room to sleep.
Loki just shrugged. ‘I laid down on the ground. You can sleep if you want, I will sit here and wake you if anything happens’ he said.
You didn’t bother to reply, but laid down on the floor as he stayed sitting up. When you laid down you shuffled as far away from him as possible. If it weren’t for the cuff you would have turned your back. The only thing you could think of was sleep and holding back your tears.
A horrible scream woke you up. Frantically you started to look around. The room was dark, but there were some lights here and there. Loki put a hand on your back.
‘Sshh, it’s okay’ he shushed you. Rubbing slowly up and down your back.
‘Who is screaming?’ you whispered.
‘I don’t know, but it isn’t you, so I don’t care’ he replied.
‘How are you so calm?’ you asked.
‘I’ve been here a while and there is sort of a routine’ he said.
Loki explained that the Collector collected valuable objects and in these boxes were his entire collection. Sometimes he needs information from his objects that he can sell, if they don’t give it he has other ways to make them talk. In the morning the boxes would move in different positions. He often had tours through his collection, but he never showed Loki. Afraid that someone will try to capture him and bring him to Thanos. Food and water were provided in the morning and at the end of the day by the slaves that were responsible for it. There were scheduled bathroom times and every two days there was the option to take a shower.
He told you that he was on Sakaar for a while, but had to leave, because he had run out of favour with the person running the place. After that he was on Asgard for a short while, but couldn’t tell Thor about it. When he was stealing some food for his next destination, he heard Thor talk about the Collector. The idea that this men had one of the stones didn’t sit right with Loki. He had planned to take the stone and bring it to the Avengers. But Thanos beat him to it, and before he knew it he woke up in this box, where he has been this entire time.
‘Do you know how late it is now?’ you asked.
‘About three o’clock in the middle of the night. You should really get some more rest, kitten’ a small smile appeared on his face.
‘Firstly, don’t call me that. I have a name. And secondly, don’t you have to sleep?’ you asked.
‘What? Kitten? I thought you liked that name’ he purred. ‘And I wanted to give you some space. If I also lay down, things will get very cosy. Not that I mind of course’
‘I’m not going to let you fuck me into another relationship. I’ve spent the last five months getting over you and did that very easily. So, do what you want’ you sat as emotionless as you could.
‘You do know I’m also the God of Lies, right?’ Loki mused.
‘Just shut up. And how is the temperature controlled in this thing?’ you asked, starting to shiver from the cold a bit.
Loki smirked before answering your question ‘It’s an automatic system. I’m afraid there is not much we can do about it’ he said.
‘Fine, just stay away or go to sleep, I don’t care’ you said before laying back on the floor again. Trying to keep your shivering to a minimal.
For a moment Loki didn’t move. Once your breathing was even and slow he moved. You weren’t asleep but were too tired to respond. He had laid down two. Your face was close to his chest and your cuffed hands were almost touching. The both of you were on your sides. Ignoring the closeness, you fell asleep.
You woke up again, getting used to your new environment was not doing much good for you sleep schedule. Loki had put his arm underneath your head and you were with your head against his chest. On one side you wanted to leave, on the other side, you had missed this. That’s when you noticed Loki’s jacket, he had wrapped it around your body as much as the handcuffs would allow it. You closed your eyes and fell back asleep again, deciding to make a decision about Loki in the morning.
Permanent taglist: @delightfulheartdream @the-best-phineas @theaudacitytowrite @pescadoavocado @taurusbeing @theestorm @justacripple
Story taglist: @l0nelyasian @mrsdarcyinlovewithbuckybarnes @ragweed98 @thehornytitties @morganmofresh @saiyanstars @rahne85 @charistory @not-your-bitch @kamrynnnnn @kokinu09 @dustychinchilla74 @clarawolf22 @citrineasguardian
#loki#loki laufeyson#loki odinson#loki of asgard#loki god of mischief#loki god of lies#loki x y/n#loki x reader#loki x ofc#loki x original female character#loki x you#loki smut#loki story#loki marvel#loki mcu#marvel fanfic#marvel fanfiction#MCU fanfiction#mcu fanfic#mcu x reader#mcu x you#loki fanfic#loki fanfiction#loki fic#loki fluff
137 notes
·
View notes
Text
Vegan Cupcakes
Summary: You and Harry have been quarantined together and he needs space.
Genre(s): angst (happy ending)
Word Count: 3.2k
Warning(s): angsty stuff, ~foul language~
You and Harry have been quarantined together for several months now and, despite the difficulty and the severity of the situation, you as a couple are having the time of your lives.
Harry was definitely disappointed and upset about not being able to go touring with Fine Line, but the second he heard the news he thought of you.
He has been donating a lot of money and supplies for those in need of it or unemployed while you took your university classes online.
Spending most of the spring together didn’t feel as suffocating for Harry as summer did. Your classes were over and you didn’t take a summer semester, so your time fully revolved around him. Which he liked.
In the beginning.
Until you clung on him like a koala for days and made him cuddle you all the time, which he enjoyed a lot until it became a routine. Harry couldn’t even tell you how he felt because it would hurt your feelings, so he didn’t say anything at all, keeping it all to himself.
“Baby?” You call for him from the kitchen.
Harry rolls his eyes as you, once again, interrupted his flow of thoughts. He gets up from the couch he was laying on peacefully before and walks towards the kitchen, where you are standing holding up a paper so big it covers your whole face.
“Yes?” Harry asks, trying his best not to come out too rough. You placed the paper on the kitchen island in front of you to look up at Harry. You didn’t pay close attention to his annoyance; you were too busy brainstorming what proportion of flour to sugar to take for your vegan cupcakes.
“Harry, do you think I should take 1:2? Like twice as much flour? Or do you want the cupcakes to be sweeter?” Harry watched you ramble, crossing his arms, feeling ~this~ close to bursting. “Or do you think the cupcakes shouldn’t be that sweet because they’ll have sweet icing on top?” You ket throwing question after question at your fuming boyfriend, still oblivious of his irritation.
“Or maybe we should make them both mildly sweet?” Shut up.
“They will be chocolate anyway, right?” Shut up.
“Would you prefer dark chocola-”
“Y/N, shut up already! Can you stop fucking rambling? My head is going to explode from your talking.” Harry explodes, not letting you finish your question, the excited smile leaving your face.
You felt your head being squeezed from sides, pressure increasing at your temples.
“What?” You ask, hoping that you misheard him, knowing deep down that you didn’t because the Harry you knew and loved would never say such a hurtful thing.
“I said shut up. My brain is buzzing from your talking. Do whatever you fucking want.” Harry said and walked out of the kitchen before you could say something to him.
Thinking that he probably isn’t in a good mood and certainly needs space from your rambling you stay back in the kitchen and go back to your recipe with a broken heart and wet eyes. Your hands shake as you brought the paper back up to your face, failing to read any of the words and measurements through a layer of tears that were collected in your eyes.
Even when you were fighting he had never said anything so mean to you before, especially after he found out that your whole life people have been discouraging you from talking, so you closed off and spoke up only when you were directly called out for not saying anything. It took Harry a couple of months to finally get you to open up to him and talk to him without feeling guilty for it. He used to love it when you rambled on and on about things you’re passionate about. At least that’s what you thought.
You spend the next hour making the batter for your cupcakes and baking them, which only took about fifteen minutes. You felt encouraged to go up to Harry when you smelled the chocolate cupcakes fresh out of the oven.
“I’ll put a couple on a plate.” You spoke to yourself placing the freshly baked cupcakes on Harry’s favorite flower plate. “Just like that.”
Talking to yourself was a way you brushed your nervousness and anxiety away. Harry would catch you talking to your reflection millions of times, just standing and secretly watching you sometimes with a wide smile plastered on his face.
You placed the plate on the tray you brought from your trip to Italy and poured Harry some black coffee, placing it next to the warm plate. You picked the tray up and walked out of the kitchen, making sure to watch your elbows at the doorway.
Making your way towards the living room, where you expected Harry to be, you spotted no grumpy boyfriends there.
“He’s probably in the studio.” You spoke to yourself, refusing to let Harry’s bad mood discourage you.
Harry would rarely hide from you in the studio when you’re fighting, usually he would face you and solve the issue before it grows and hurts you even more, so it was unusual for him to run off there.
You brushed the thought off and watched towards the studio door. As you walked closer you could hear Harry talking to someone, but knowing that there is no one home except you two, you understood that he’s talking on the phone with someone. You stood at the door, turning to the side to place the tray on the floor, freeing your hands to turn back to the door and knock, as you didn’t want to interrupt any important calls or interviews that Harry could have with your talking.
Before your knuckles hit the door, you heard Harry’s voice.
“Man, I mean she’s always next to me. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t wait for her to go back to uni for me to get some air.” Harry whines. Your heart stops before going back to beating at a higher rate, full of anxiety.
“Yeah, right! It just feels as if she’s been dreaming of being touchy-feely with someone and now that I’m finally home she can’t get herself off of me.” Harry kept stabbing your heart and laughed at something the person on the phone said.
With every word, you felt more and more empty. You started walking away from the door, bending over to take the tray with yourself not to leave any traces behind.
How could he say something like that?
I thought he loved me.
You didn’t know what you were doing. Your legs moved on their own and you just followed along, tears leaking from your eyes’ inner corners, tracing a way down to your chin. The salty trail wasn’t getting a chance to dry as new tears followed the same path as the ones before did.
When your body reached the kitchen your shaking hands placed the tray on the counter, Harry’s coffee slightly spilling on the tray.
Pain.
Never before have you thought than sadness could physically hurt so much; it hurt like a bitch.
You placed the tray on the table for Harry to find later and walked out of the kitchen to go back to your bedroom to cry in your pillow while he keeps complaining about you to his friend.
Harry came to bed in a couple of hours closer to the evening after looking for you all over the house to apologize for his rough words. When he saw you laying on your side of the bed, your knees pushed up to your chest, the duvet hardly doing its job keeping you covered and warm, he felt guilt running through his veins.
Walking up to his side, pressing a knee on the mattress first, Harry scooted over to you and pulled the duvet to cover you up. He let his arm stay on the duvet wrapping around your fragile form. He moved his upper body closer to yours, his chest pressing against your duvet-covered back.
“Baby?” Harry spoke softly, cautious not to wake you up. When no answer followed he frowned and positioned his face into the crook of your neck, pressing kisses on your neck.
“I’m sorry about earlier, baby. I was very mean to you.” He spoke against your soft skin. “I shouldn’t have exploded like that. It wasn’t fair to you.”
Harry’s apologies kept following one after another and you stayed silent, keeping your act on. You would’ve believed every word of his if only you haven’t heard him say the things he said about you to someone else.
You kept your eyes closed. Harry’s apologies subsided as he slowly fell asleep cuddled into your back. You stayed up that night, tears pooling in the corners of your eyes. You wished for the pain inside to leave with your tears but it stayed, eating you from inside, until sunrise when you fell asleep from the emotional exhaustion.
When you woke up, Harry was no longer lying next to you and you were thankful for it. You really hoped that he wouldn’t bring yesterday up, even though you knew he would because he never got to apologize to you awake.
Your stomach growled and you remember that you never got to have dinner the day before, falling asleep drowning in your own sadness.
You quickly got up to sneakily walk down to the kitchen, but you were disappointed to have smelled Harry’s signature chocolate waffles in the air. With your shoulders slumped in defeat you walked down the stairs towards your kitchen.
As you walked through the doorway of the kitchen you saw Harry placing the brown waffles onto serving plates and adding sliced strawberries on top. You stopped your heart from fluttering because you, unfortunately, knew more than you’d prefer to know about how your boyfriend actually feels about you.
Harry felt someone’s eyes on him and turned around to be greeted by your indifferent self. He felt his heart sink as he read the hurt from the day before engraved on the surface of your face. Harry kept fidgeting about the table trying to let you pass to sit in your place next to him and placed the plate of waffles in front of you.
“I made you your favorite, baby.” He spoke unsure of how you would react to any words that left his mouth.
You fought the desire to bite into the warm chocolate waffles that your belly was craving after crying all night long and being left hungry for so many hours and walked up to the counter to get yourself a couple of your ill-fated cupcakes.
You couldn’t see Harry’s head lowering as you dashed his hopes to make it better. Little did Harry know you weren’t upset about his outburst about the cupcakes yesterday, so a couple of waffles won’t help to glue together the ruins of your heart that he shattered.
As you bit into the cupcakes, you stood at the counter facing away from the table, Harry took no bites of his breakfast, staring at your back helplessly. Suddenly he felt small and didn’t know what to do.
“I’m sorry about yesterday, Y/N. I acted like a piece of shit. You don’t deserve to be treated like that.” His lips moved as his eyes watched your back for any reaction coming from you, his voice coming out soft and weak.
You stood there, your eyes glossy and your lips curving down in a frown, as you fought back the tears. Harry doesn’t have a single idea of how much pain he’s caused you and how none of these stupid apologies will ever fix the cracks that he left in your heart. You looked over your shoulder at Harry’s similar-to-yours state and hesitated whether or not to open up to him. Harry looked into your eyes with his and held a breath, hoping that you would figure things out. Your eyes broke the eye contact by looking down and speaking up.
“It’s okay.” You spoke and abandoned your plate, walking out of the kitchen, Harry’s eyes observing your every movement.
For the next couple of days, you stayed away from Harry and things were pretty cold between you. Harry would come up to you every day trying to apologize but you wouldn’t let him finish any of those times, leaving the room right away. Hurt was eating you from inside and you didn’t care what he had to say. Harry chose to sleep in the guest bedroom not to make you uncomfortable and you thanked him for it.
As time went by, you cooled down and felt better yourself. Harry gave you all the space you needed and it helped your healing process. You still hurt but you could talk to him now at least. Things went back to normal in most ways except one: you would stop yourself from expressing any kind of affection to Harry and he wouldn’t say anything but it drove him insane. He didn’t know why you wouldn’t kiss or snuggle him like you used to. You also started talking less because of your fight and Harry noticed every single change in your behavior and beat himself up for it.
“Y/N.” Harry walked into the bedroom with an i-can’t-do-this-anymore face on. Your eyes had to abandon the indulging book you were reading as Harry closed the door behind him, which meant he was determined to finally face the difficulty of the situation. Noticing the mood in the room change to a serious one, you placed the book on the bedside table and crossed your legs under the duvet, focusing all of your attention on your restless boyfriend with arms crossed.
“Mhm?” You ask, waiting for him to spit out whatever he’s been putting aside for almost two weeks.
“I’m sorry for that fight, okay? I really am, sweetheart. You haven’t been the same since then and it scares me. I didn’t mean to go off at you like that. You didn’t deserve it at all. I was exhausted and felt shitty myself and took it out on you. It’s not an excuse to yell at you and be so mean, I understand and I’m sorry, beautiful. It was a mistake and it won’t happen again, I promise. Please forgive me, Y/N.” Harry spoke so desperately, his emotions all over the place. He started gesticulating, which you knew meant that he was anxious and frustrated.
“I’m not mad at that, Harry. I forgave you.” You spoke the truth; Harry looked at you with even more frustration behind his now-glossy eyes.
“But you don’t even touch me anymore! You don’t kiss me! You don’t even want to be near-” Harry lets all of his insecurities out, oblivious to the flow of your own that you prepare to pour on him. You couldn’t sit there and listen to him accuse you of being neglectful towards him so you broke in to speak yourself.
“You don’t want me to be around you anymore! You said that yourself! You-you said-” Your voice cracks as tears build up in the corners of your eyes. It became hard to talk. “-said I’m always next to you and you need some space from me always being there.”
The tears that were collecting in your eyes were streaming down your cheeks, Harry’s glance reflecting off of them. Harry couldn't understand what you were referring to but kept listening to you.
“And you didn’t even have the guts to tell me yourself. You whined about how annoying I am to your friend, embarrassing me. It’s supposed to be something kept between us two, not discussed with your friends.” Every word stabbed his heart in same places as it did yours.
Harry’s mind went straight to the call you were talking about. He felt his intestines turn into a knot inside of him, causing him to feel nauseous. He felt like an asshole. It was fair because he was one indeed.
I hurt her.
You don’t want to be around me anymore.
Does she really think that?
You need space from me.
My baby. My angel.
What a fucking piece of shit am I to hurt my precious love like this.
You saw right through Harry’s sudden self-hatred despite the two layers of salty tears between your eyes and his.
“I’m so sorry.” Harry’s apologies filled the room, as pain continued to fill his soul.
“I hurt you. I’m so fucking sorry. It was so wrong to share something so personal with anyone except you. I didn’t even know what I was saying. I can’t live without you.” Harry’s cries became louder and louder as his regret first doubled and then tripled in size. “Your hands, your lips, your beautiful eyes - I can’t live without those things on me constantly. I was such a fool to think that I needed space from you. You’re the love of my life! I love you so fucking much. I’m so fucking sorry, Y/N. I-” Harry's voice was cut by him having to take deep breaths to keep himself together. He placed a hand over his chest breathing in deeply.
You ripped the blanket off of yourself watching Harry closely, getting ready to sprint to his inhaler in case he needs it. Harry saw your reaction to his heavy breathing and rose his hand to gesture that he’s okay. You let out a relieved sign and scooted closer to the end of the bed where Harry stood. When he caught up with his breathing he looked down at you, moving to get on his knees in front of the bed. Harry’s hands flew up to cup your cheeks softly, giving you time to stop him if you wanted to.
“I love you so much, baby. I can’t express how sorry I am to hurt you so much. I don’t need any space from you. I can’t function properly without you on me all the time, without you wrapped in my arms.” Harry spoke and tears kept running down his face. You watched his eyes jump from one side of your face to the other, trying to absorb every single line and curve of your face.
“Fuck, I’ve missed looking at you so fucking much,” Harry speaks up, his face frowning as new tears start flowing out of his eyes. The frown on Harry’s face became more prominent as he understood the severity of the pain he had caused you.
”It’s all my fault.” Harry cries, hiding his face in the crook of your neck, your arms wrapping around him. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.”
Harry kept apologizing the whole night and many days after, not letting you walk further than an arm length away from him. It took him a lot of effort to kick the insecurities that he birthed out of your head, but he kept proving himself to you over and over again.
He is an arrogant son of a bitch, but nonetheless he loves you more than himself.
© all right belong to stylesberries. do not repost or modify.
#harry styles#harry styles fluff#harry styles imagine#harry styles imagines#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles x reader#harry styles masterlist#harry styles blurbs#harry styles angst
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
DIWK - Chapter ten: "Set me free my honey bee"
Word count: 11,6K
Summary: Let's jump 19 months in time and see how painful it has turned for reader and Spencer to hide their feelings for each other. JJ leaves the team, and a new member joins the BAU.
Warnings: Angst and hurt. Fools being assholes. Cursing, of course. Mention of CM cases and spoilers on S06E11.
A/N: Please don't hate me. Just remember things usually look like the shit before they get worst, and then everything is better. I hope.
Masterlist
Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen |
┅┅┅┅┅┅┅༻❁༺┅┅┅┅┅┅┅
(Y/N)'s point of view
Time is a weird thing. I remember when I was in school and time didn't pass fast enough. Semesters were eternal. It felt it had been years by the time summer vacation arrived. The complete opposite happened to me at the BAU. Suddenly, time passed too quickly. A whole year and a half went by in the blink of an eye.
I told Spencer about it, and he sent me a paper published by Professor Adrian Bejan that presented an argument based on the physics of neural signal processing. He hypothesizes that, over time, the rate at which we process visual information slows down, and this is what makes time 'speed up' as we grow older.
My answer was that I thought it happened 'cos as we grew older, we did things that actually gave us joy, which made us feel the time was passing faster than before. So we argued a whole Saturday afternoon about it and created our own theories for that event.
My theory was my personal favorite, 'cos it was the only one that could easily explain why so much time had passed in the BAU, and it felt like it had been just a few weeks.
It hadn't been easy, though. Those nineteen months had been filled with some of the worst situations we had been through as a team.
After I got shot, JJ finally admitted her relationship with Will and got pregnant. That was shocking, the first BAU baby: Henry.
Sadly, Henry was the only little good thing that happened that year. Because to sum it up, a bunch of awful shit happened to all of us: Hotch was in a car explosion that almost killed him. Spencer and Prentiss got trapped in an undercover mission into an underground cult to investigate child abuse, and Emily was beaten up pretty badly. Also, Spencer got infected with anthrax and nearly died. That was probably the most agonizing moment I had lived since the whole Tobias Hankel situation two years earlier.
Also, that year Prentiss had to investigate the case of the death of one of her best friends, and I was in a pretty nasty fight with an unsub that got me out of the field for three weeks. Not to mention, Spencer was shot in the leg.
Hotch was stabbed by the only unsub that has actually won against the BAU: Foyet. He attacked Aaron and got on the lose for months, but we all knew his next move as torture Hotch's family. That's why his ex-wife Haley and his little son Jack had to go into protective custody, and he couldn't see them for months while we tried to catch Foyet.
Things didn't go as planned. And without a doubt, the worst moment that year was the day Haley died. Foyet killed her, and Aaron lost it. He literally killed him with his bare hands the moment he got him. For a solid week, I was sure Aaron Hotchner wouldn't be the unit chief anymore. Strauss actually opened an investigation related to everything that happened that day. But in the end, somehow, she understood the "bloodbath" that had happened in that house was all in Foyet's hands.
However, there's no way to deny that the whole team had changed in many ways after that year. The concept of being a family was now more present than ever. After chasing Foyet for months, we were all onto him as if he was chasing our own family, because he was.
You don't work this kind of job with a team like mine and don't get attached to them. And this goes beyond how in love I was with Spencer. The (Y/N) who first stepped into the BAU, scared to show her true self, was long gone. And despite my deepest fears, letting them in and showing them who I really was had been one of the smartest decisions I have ever made.
Do you want to know which was my stupidest decision? Falling in love with Spencer Reid. It hadn't actually been my choice. I just didn't fight the feeling either. I don't think I could have even if I tried, though. Those nineteen months brought us so close, my mom thought we were living together, and the teasing from our friends was so common we weren't even affected by it.
For Christ Sakes, even Strauss thought we were dating! She forced us to attend a seminar on fraternization, concerned after she realized we always took our vacation together. We had a lot of fun trips, though. First, we visited his mom and had an amazing weekend in Las Vegas. Then we took a few days off after the anthrax incident and went to Hawaii. Picture Spencer Reid in an "all-inclusive," drinking all the coffee and eating all the pastries possible while reading a million books underneath an extra-large umbrella. We had fun that week, did some local touring, but most of all, sleeping in and relaxing. Spencer hates the beach but got those tickets anyway.
Did everybody think we were a couple? Yes
Did it help that we shared rooms, 'cos we were already used to it? No
Did it feel like a honeymoon without sex? Yes
Could I stop thinking about sex with Spencer? No.
And all that led us to the nightmare our relationship was going to become.
Penelope Garcia was drunk. She kept pouring shots and pushing them to us. Emily was wasted as well. But she kept acting like the classy lady she is. Not like JJ. My poor baby had mascara smeared under her eyes after crying for like an hour.
We found out she was leaving the team, and it was a hard blow on us. And by hard, I mean the worst thing that had ever happened to us. We had suffered without JJ when she was on maternity leave. And we struggled without her. Now knowing the Pentagon had taken her away from the BAU was torture.
We had a goodbye party for her at Rossi's, but this was our goodbye girl's night, and neither of us was holding anything back.
We had cried, we had sung sad songs. We drank all the champagne, wine, and vodka we could find. And now, holding our tequila shots, we knew it was time to call it a night.
- "I just love you girls so much,"- JJ whispered, crying- I don't wanna work without you.
- "Boo, come here!!"- I opened my arms and wrapped them around my friend, kissing the top of her hair a few times- "I love you too, and you are going to come back so soon you won't have time to miss us. You'll see. Papa Rossi and Dada Hotch are gonna fix everything."
I was drunk. Seriously drunk. But that wasn't the reason why I was so sweet with JJ. The truth is, I was broken-hearted. Like Penelope and Reid, I didn't manage change very well, and the fact that JJ was forced to leave made me feel frustrated and mad. But most of all, it made me think of every time I had been a little bitch with her during the years. And I regretted each one of them.
- "And we won't be far!"- Emily added and caressed JJ's arm, smiling kindly- "You will still be in town, and we will not leave you alone"- JJ chuckled and nodded.
- "I know, girls. Shit, I love you all so much!"
- "We love you too!"- Penelope sobbed and moved closer, wrapping the three of us in her arms.
- "Please, take care!"- JJ wiped off the tears from her eyes and looked at us- "Emily, don't do anything stupid! Don't rush in the field, and please don't take your fucking vest off!!"
- "I won't! I promise!"
- "You have to live to be Unit chief one day!"- JJ added, and Prentiss widened her eyes, shocked.
- "That's not really my gold."
- "But you'd be queen, baby!!"- Jareau added and turned to Penelope- "And you, please make sure Hotch eats. I kept a stack of granola bars on my desk to keep him fueled during the day. He usually forgets lunchtime and skips dinner, so..."
- "Don't worry, JJ,"- Penelope nodded, and we all felt our heartbreak a little thinking about all the things JJ did in her daily basics to take care of the team, and we didn't even know.
- "How are we going to survive without you?"- I mumbled, pouting. JJ chuckled and held my hand.
- "You are a rock, and you will do a fantastic job keeping this team together. Just, please, can you and Spencer start dating now?"
I wide opened my eyes and stared at JJ. The comment surprised me. I shouldn't, 'cos the whole "you and Spencer should start dating" joke was getting old. Only this time, JJ wasn't joking. She held both my hands and looked right into my eyes.
- "(Y/N), he loves you"- I was about to argue with her, but she covered my mouth with her Cheetos smelling hand.
- "Don't say a word! Spencer loves you so much you really must be blind not to see it. And I know you love him too. It's implied in all the little things you do for him every day. So don't take it for granted. Don't think this will last forever 'cos look at me! A week ago, I was happily working at the BAU, and now I'm drinking at my goodbye party! So don't waste any more time! You are in love with Spencer, and he loves you! It doesn't take a profiler to see it. So please! Act on it!"
There was a dramatic silence after. I didn't know how to break it. I could just joke around, but somehow, it didn't feel right. It had been too quiet for too long, and that made everything harder to deny. Finally, Emily put her hand on mine, just like JJ was still doing, and smiled at me.
- "There's nothing to be ashamed of, (Y/N). You are not the first person to fall for her best friend."
- "And the Junior G Man loves you so much,"- Penelope added, landing her hand on our hands too.
- "As his friend"- I corrected and sighed. I guess that was it. After three years, I could probably start facing my feelings in front of my friends.
- "No, (Y/N)"- Garcia tried to argue, but I shook my head and stood up, 'cos all that sudden attention and affection was bothering me.
- "PG, I was in Hawaii with the man, sharing a room, walking around in a bikini, and he didn't do anything."
- "That's because he is shy!"- Emily excused him right away.
- "My bikini leaves pretty much nothing to the imagination. Do you know what he said when he first saw me on it?"- I looked at my friend and poured us another round of tequila- "And I quote, "I don't think I brought enough books. This one is too interesting."
I air quoted with my fingers as we spoke, and the three of them looked at me, speechless. I made my point and drank my shot, feeling the alcohol burning down my throat. My friends opened their mouths but didn't produce a word. I sighed and looked at them.
- "But he hates the beach, and he took you there anyway,"- Emily pointed out
- "Did he give you his speech about how he hates sandy food?"- JJ asked me, and I chuckled, nodding.
- "And about pink skin, limited and unengaging topography, and of course, the real reason he hates the beach: drug-resistant bacteria spread by seagull feces."
- "And the man took you to the beach!"- Penelope argued.
- "But he didn't do anything! he didn't make his move, didn't even hold my hand!!"- I nearly shouted- "That's why, among a lot of reasons, is how I know Spencer is not interested in me! If only I'd tell you all the shit we've been through!"
- "Please!! Tell us!!"- Garcia begged and grabbed one of my legs- "I won't live another day 'cos I won't be able to deal with the mystery!"
- "No! 'cos you are gonna tell Morgan"- I slurred- "And he is going to embarrass and tease my honey bunny, and my honey bunny is gonna get all nervous and nervous around me, and we are never going to..."- I stopped talking and looked at my friends. I was sharing too much.
- "(Y/N)?"- Prentiss looked at me, but I just shook my head and looked down.
- "I think I better go home."
- "No, you can't drive like this,"- JJ argued immediately and held my hand- "I'm not gonna let you go intoxicated. Will is gonna come pick me up, and we'll drop you in your place."
I nodded at her and stayed still. My friends smiled at me, and slowly very slowly, I leaned on JJ's shoulder and rested my head on it.
- "I love you, boo,"- I whispered, and she giggled- "I don't think I'll stay sane without you there with us anymore."
- "Hotch is gonna manage to get her back,"- Penelope assured me, and I just nodded.
- "Meanwhile, we won't replace you, and if anyone tries to push someone new into the team, we are not gonna take them,"- I added, feeling JJ's hand holding mine.
- "Don't be mean with people just 'cos you miss me. If there's a new teammate, it won't be their fault I was pushed out of the BAU."
- "But, JJ,"- I tried to argue, but she shook her head right away.
- "No, (Y/N). You can't be mean to people just because."
Clearly, my friend hoped I could be the better person. The simple question was: did I want to be the better person? Right there, drunk and sad, the answer was no.
Spencer's point of view
I kept finding myself awake at four in the morning, walking around my apartment, not able to read or to write anything. For the last months, at least twice or three times each week, I would stay awake, no matter how tired I felt, and I would haunt my own apartment, listening to my vinyl records.
The sudden lack of sleep wasn't really something weird in me. I have always been nocturnal. Besides, the news of JJ's departure had hit us all pretty hard. I had already shared my share of tears and tried to manage the fury that caused me to know we were helpless to the government's decisions. There was nothing we could do, neither us, Hotch, or even Strauss. Not that she would if she could.
My family was in crisis, and all we could do was hope for the best and stay together.
It was scary losing JJ. It made me think of all the things that could go wrong every day on the field daily. It was bad that we could get hurt or even die on our work. But that they divided us that way made no sense. Like Rossi said: our loss was someone else's winning, and in the FBI, no one cared if we lost.
I poured myself a cup of herbal tea and inhaled the smell of it. It smelled like home. Like (Y/N). She had some of her favorite teas in my apartment. She had a bunch of all her things there, actually. When mom visited, she thought we were living together. She is still sure we are dating and that I don't wanna tell her. I don't longer argue with her about it. It's useless, and it somehow feels good to imagine in another world. It was actually true.
That year my feelings for my best friend had grown in a way that made it all more difficult to deal with. I didn't just love her. I was in love with her. She was in everything I did, in each and every one of my thoughts. I could hear her laughter in my head, like a record playing my favorite song over and over again.
When she was out there in the field, I couldn't stop running all the probabilities of her getting hurt, and most of the time, I would do my best to keep her safe, knowing it could somehow interfere with the case.
Hotch had called me to his office a few times, aware something was going with me. He could read it on my face, I guess. It was scary to know everybody could read my feelings for (Y/N) but her. And it was sad to think of the worst: that she knew how much I loved her, but she didn't feel the same, and she was just being my friend 'cos she was never going to be anything else but my friend.
I drank my tea and hummed the song that sounded in my house at four in the morning: Love is a losing game. Seemed pretty accurate for my mood. I remember the day I got that vinyl. We were out with (Y/N), Frank, and Lu, looking for a present for Mikey's birthday, and we ended up in a record store, getting a million vinyl records for ourselves.
- "Are you getting all those?"- (Y/N) asked me and looked at the seven albums in my hand.
- "Yes, why? I can't?"- I answered and raised an eyebrow.
- "Sassy!"- she giggled and grabbed them- "You can get all the albums you want. But I have to give my approval first. No, you are not getting this!"- she grabbed The Beatles' Revolver and left it aside.
- "What? Why? It's only one I need to complete my collection."
- "I know, but when you get it, you'll force me to listen to it, and I don't like the Beatles,"- she argued, and I just shook my head, taking the album again.
- "Sorry, chipmunk, I'm buying it."
- "Fine. I won't go to your house for the next couple of weeks then."
- "Why don't you tell me which album you wanna listen to when you are in my house then?"- I looked at her, smiling at me and looking for a record on the shelves.
- "This! You need some Amy in your life."
And I did. Now, at four in the morning, all alone walking around, I could see her in my apartment, singing along to her favorite songs while cooking dinner, feeling at home. I wished she was there, with me, doing nothing. Watching tv, or reading. Just hanging out. I knew it wasn't healthy being in love with my friend, seeing her every day, and also hanging out with her every chance I got. But even when I knew she was never going to love me the way I did, I was going to take every chance I had to enjoy her company. If that was all I was going to get.
My phone took me from my thoughts, and I quickly walked to my room to get it. I thought it was Hotch announcing a case, but it was JJ.
- "Hey! JJ, everything ok? Is Henry ok?"
- "Yes, hi Spence. We are all ok."
- "It's four in the morning."
- "Sorry I woke you up... I just..." - she made a pause and sighed at the other side of the line- "Spencer, you know I love you."
- "I love you too. You are one of my best friends. Is everything ok?"
- "Yes, I just wanted to... remember a bunch of years ago, when you asked me to that football game?"
A million years had passed since the one and only time I had asked JJ out. It was the only move I tried to do on her, and I failed incredibly. It was awkward, and she had no idea it was a date, so she invited Garcia to come along. I was so embarrassed I never even mentioned that single event ever again, and our friendship grew after.
- "Yes, I remember, JJ. Why?"
- "When you asked me out, did you have a crush on me?"
- "JJ, are you drunk?"- I had to ask 'cos that conversation was starting to scare me.
- "Yes, but that's not why I'm talking about this. Just answer the questions, Spence. When you asked me out on that date, did you have a crush on me?"
- "Yes, I did."
I closed my eyes, embarrassed to face feelings that were far forgotten.
- "You see, I had a crush on you too back then,"- JJ said and chuckled- "But neither of us acted on it, and life continued, and now I'm in love with Will, and we have a baby, and you are his godfather."
Of all the things I thought I would listen to that day, never in a million years, I imagined I would hear JJ drunk telling me she had a crush on me when we first met.
- "Now, do you want that to happen again?"- she asked, and I didn't get it, 'cos I was still trying to process what I had just heard. So I might have had a relationship with her if only I had said something, act on it. Kiss her, ask her out again?
- "What?"
- "Spence. Do you want to miss the chance to be with the girl you like?"
- "No, but JJ, what are you talking about?"
She sighed, frustrated, and used that tone of voice with me, that very maternal specific tone of voice she used to explain things she knew were hard for me to follow.
- "When you like someone, Spence, you have to tell her. 'Cos sometimes, life gets in the way, and if you don't do what you have to do to be happy, no one will do it for you."
- "Are you ok, JJ?"
- "Yes, Spence, I'm ok. I'm home with Will. We just got here after dropping (Y/N) off her place."
- "How was she?"
- "She might have had a few too many drinks, but she'll be ok in the morning. Maybe she'd appreciate it if you brought her coffee and donuts."
- "She doesn't like donuts,"- I corrected her- "She likes cupcakes and brownies."
- "Sorry. Coffee and cupcakes... just tell her you love her, Spence. She deserves to know."
I held my breath and closed my eyes. I didn't get why JJ was telling me that, but I knew I didn't want to talk about it. So I said good night and hung up.
What was the point of telling me we could have been a couple of years had passed already? Why didn't she say a thing before? Or even better, why didn't she ever say a word about it at all? So I missed the chance to be happy with her. Great. One more regret to add to my list.
I laid on my bed and tried to remember that date. I was so nervous that day, my hands shook inside my pockets as I walked to JJ's door. She looked beautiful that day, especially when she looked at me and announced she had invited Penelope to join us.
That was when I realized she would never see me as a proper date, just like a friend. And I learned to make my peace with that over the years. My crush for JJ lasted a few more months, but it vanished when I fell for (Y/N). What if she had never joined the team? Would I have been in love with JJ forever? Jeniffer always made me feel like her little brother, and I guess that's the mechanic that works for us. We were good friends ever since we met, and yes, I had a crush on her, but we work more like siblings than anything else.
What was the point in telling me I had missed a chance with her now? I just couldn't see it.
(Y/N)'s point of view
The next few weeks were us trying to survive without JJ. The team was making the best it could, but it was hard. Penelope took the lead during the second case without JJ. She turned into our tech analyst and communication liaison, only to collapse under the pressure of having two roles.
No one was going to replace JJ. We all knew it. Literally, no one, 'cos Hotch decided he and Garcia were going to split the job, and we were all going to collaborate as much as we could, 'cos we were a team. A family. And that's what families do.
And families were the target of the unsub we were hunting the day everything changed. Again. I hadn't recovered from the departure of JJ when Rossi and Hotch walked to the bullpen and introduced us to Agent Trainee Ashley Seaver.
My nemesis.
- "Agent trainee Seaver"- Rossi smiled at her like a proud father and looked at us as we stood up, wondering who she was- "Supervisory Special Agent Prentiss, (Y/L/N), and Morgan."
- "I've heard so much about the three of you,"- she said with the sweetest tone of voice I had ever heard. Something about that felt odd.
- "I hope it is all good- Morgan flirted right away, of course."
- "Very, sir."
- "Anything specific? I mean about me in particular?"- I turned to him and failed in holding back my chuckles.
- "Please, don't encourage him, or he will never stop talking,"- I said, and Derek elbowed me playfully. Seaver smiled at us and even blushed a little bit. She was nervous.
- "Agent Seaver is on loan to us from the academy while she is remedial training with an injury."
Hotch announced. And my stomach tightened right away. There was something wrong with that whole scene. I could feel it in my guts. But I didn't know why?
- "Concussion. Hand to hand got a little out of control."- Seaver explained and kept a silly smile on her face.
- "How's the other guy?"- Prentiss asked.
- "Don't ask."
- "I was remediated in the academy also,"- Spencer said, walking over us, and suddenly I understood why I had a bad feeling about everything.
- "Agent Seaver, Dr. Reid."
As soon as I heard Rossi say those words, there was a part of me who just wanted to hold Spencer's hand and push him away from her, even before they could say hi. She looked at him like he was eye candy, and I clenched my knuckles as I stared at the scene.
- "Uhm... What was your issue?"- she asked him, and I could see the pink on her cheek intensifying as he looked at her, confused.
- "What was my issue? Marksmanship, physical training, obstacle course, Hogan's alley. You know, pretty much everything that wasn't technically book related. They ultimately had to make exceptions to allow me into the field."
Seaver stared at him and kept nodding, though I wondered if she was listening to what he had said. Spencer looked exceedingly handsome that day. His hair was very short for the first time in years, and he still had no idea how to comb it, so it was all over the place, making him look as hot as fuck.
I was so in love with him, I didn't know what to do with those feelings at all. It was hard working with Reid at that point. I just wanted to kiss him.
- "Agent Seaver's going to accompany us to New Mexico,"- Aaron announced, and I couldn't help but question him right away.
- "She is?"
- "As a consultant."- he assured me.
- "On?"- Morgan raised an eyebrow and looked at Hotch, wondering what a trainee agent could help us with as a consultant.
- "She has a unique perspective,"- Rossi tried to explain, but it sounded like bullshit.
- "They don't know?"- Seaver turned to the elderly agents, and they shook their heads.
- "Well, we weren't sure how you wanted to,"- David whispered.
- "Uh... Seaver's not my original last name. It's my mother's maiden name. Mine used to be Beauchamp. My father is Charles Beauchamp"- Ashley was supposed to explain the circumstances of her consultancy to the whole team, but she just looked at Spencer as she spoke.
- "As in the Redmond ripper, Charles Beauchamp?"- he asked her, and suddenly, it clicked. It was like my whole body was telling me I couldn't be close to her for a reason.
- "That's him,"- she whispered and kept her eyes on my best friend as he continued talking.
- "He killed 25 women over 10 years in rural North Dakota. I think that you caught him, right, Rossi?"- and David nodded.
- "Hotch was on that team, too."
- "Based on her life experience, we were hoping that agent Seaver might recognize something in the family dynamics inside the community that could be helpful. We have a plane waiting,"- Hotch announced and looked at us, but none of us said a word.
I kept my eyes glued at my feet the whole time Aaron talked. Then, Spencer nodded and walked with Seaver and Rossi out to the hangar. I couldn't even blink. I think I was in shock.
- "Her father was a serial killer?"- Prentiss asked Hotch, not getting what he was thinking.
- "That's definitely a different set of parameters,"- Morgan added. Neither of them was sold on the idea, which made me feel a little bit better.
- "I don't want her presence to get us sidetracked. It's a long shot that she's gonna see anything helpful. We work it like any other case,"- Hotch was clear, and Prentiss and Morgan nodded.
- "You got it."
But I disagreed with that.
- "(Y/N), is everything ok?"- Aaron asked me, and I tried my best to lie and be cool.
- "Yeah, I'm ok."
- "Ok. We work this like any other case. Wheels up in twenty."
But everything was far from being ok.
I sat next to Spencer on the jet, and we reviewed the case files together. Hotch briefed us, and we all pretended it wasn't weird having Seaver there. And I guess we had to pretend it wasn't odd knowing her dad was a serial killer.
- "You are very young, (Y/N),"- she said and smiled at me. She was sitting across from Spencer and me, and you could tell she had been trying to join the conversation for a few minutes now.
-" Twenty eight,"- I answered and looked at the files again.
- "And you, doctor?"
- "You can call me Reid. I'm twenty eight too,"- Spencer cut her a short, awkward, and nervous smile, and I turned to him.
- "Honey, did I leave my Mets jersey at your house?"- it was the only question that came to my mind at that minute. It was completely random, but somehow it showed a part of our dynamic that Ashley didn't know. Our friendship. Our closeness.
- "Yes, I found it last night,"- he answered and sipped his coffee- "I was gonna bring it over, but then I remembered you always borrow all my sweaters when you are home or when you stay over, so I thought maybe it was a good idea to keep it at my place."
- "I don't know, Batsy. It's my favorite sweatshirt- I raised an eyebrow, and I'm pretty sure I even flirted a little bit."
- "So? You need to keep one there."
- "But I like wearing your clothes when we are at your place. It's extra large and extra comfy."
- "Is that why you keep taking my sweaters back to your house?"- he asked and chuckled- "Last Sunday, I found four of my sweaters in your closet."
- "Sorry, I'm not even sorry,"- I said and laughed- "And what were you doing in my closet?"
- "Lucy, Ricky, can we focus on the case?"- Morgan asked and waved at us with one silly grin on his face- "We love hearing your adorable daily adventures, but we've got a psycho killer to catch."
Spencer blushed and flustered right away. I stuck out my tongue at Morgan and just shook my head. The way Seaver looked at Reid was still driving me nuts, but I felt I had shown her he was mine, childishly.
It's embarrassing to think that's not the most childish thing I did around her those days. Or in the weeks to follow. But I didn't like Ashley, and I didn't want her around my team. And it wasn't just her constant flirting with Spencer. It was the fact her father had killed my mother's sister when she was in college, and I was making my best effort to keep that fact aside from work. My personal life had to stay out of the FBI, especially when working a case.
I had to do some serious mental work trying to remember it wasn't Ashley's fault her father was a sick bastard. She hadn't hurt my family, and her father had ruined her life too. It wasn't her fault.
But one thing is knowing. Another thing is being rational about it. Spoiler: I wasn't so rational about it.
- "So, (Y/N). Do you like working at the BAU?"- Ashley asked me and looked at me through the rearview mirror. We were in the SUV, and Prentiss was driving. I was in the back seat, trying to ignore her, but she made it impossible.
- "Yes, very much,"- I answered and nodded, not taking my eyes from the window.
- "Everybody is very friendly,"- Seaver added and made a pause. I don't know if she wanted me to say something or if she was trying to find a way to say what she wanted to say.
- "Yes, they are,"- I humored her, and she quickly responded.
- "Are you and Spencer dating?"- I could feel the blood raising my cheeks as she spoke. And Prentiss flashed me a look through the mirror as Ashley continued talking.
- "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude. I just wondered because of the fraternization policy."
- "Right. Sure. Of course."
Those three words were meant to let Ashley know I wasn't buying her bullshit, So I literally spit them.
- "Spencer is my best friend. We are not dating."
Facing that simple truth had never been harder before, especially after how I saw Ashley's face light up.
- "You just seem to be so close."
- "Oh, they are close,"- Emily smiled at me and winked- "They are so close, they sometimes freak us out."
- "We freak you out?"- I raised an eyebrow and carefully hit her arm, pretending to be upset. But honestly, I was glad she was teasing me.
- "I am just saying, we are all pretty suspicious about you two. I am actually surprised you didn't share rooms tonight. They usually share rooms."- Emily explained to Seaver.
- "He was paired with Morgan,"- I pouted and looked at my phone. I thought maybe I could send him a funny text. I actually wanted to hang out with him.
- "He is very nice,"- Ashley added- "I mean, everybody is nice."
- "Yes, you mentioned it"
I was clearly not being nice. Seaver nodded and looked at the files again. I assumed she was trying to find a way to keep asking about Spencer, and I was making my best not to kill her.
- "Working with a genius must be somehow intimidating,"- she said after a few minutes. Damn it, she wasn't going to let that subject go.
- "It's fun working with Spencer,"- Prentiss said, trying to humor Seaver. And mostly, I guess trying to ease my mood and keep me from killing the trainee agent.
- "I'm sure it is,"- Seaver added. I hated her.
- "He is more than just a genius, he is a nerd."- Emily pointed out and chuckled at her words, making Seaver giggle too. I looked at my book again, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to concentrate on it at all. He was my nerd. Mine.
- "Well, it's very refreshing to be with a group who trusts and works so well together,"- she added- "I had never felt less judged and more welcome in my entire life."
I know I should have felt sorry for her. But I honestly couldn't. That was the day I realized I wasn't the good person I thought I was. There was a part of me that was a scumbag. I'm guessing knowing that is pretty helpful and positive 'cos you can work on your flaws. But I wasn't planning on working on anything at that minute, though. I just wanted to break Seaver's face.
Spencer's point of view
I didn't like working without JJ. I've never been good with change, and that was a massive alteration of our routine. I missed her, and adding Ashley to the team made things even weirder for me, even for a case. I didn't want to be judgemental, but her father was a serial killer. Of course, that would make things weird.
Besides, everybody kept bugging me, teasing me, trying to see if I liked Seaver. Penelope called while we were on the case and started taunting me, saying she knew I thought Ashley was cute. I could see she was beautiful, but I couldn't see her that way. And I didn't want anyone to say those kinds of things around (Y/N).
Why did I care so much?
I didn't want to face it 'cos I knew it was completely platonic, but I didn't want (Y/N) to think I had a crush on Seaver. I knew my best friend didn't have romantic feelings for me, and I also knew I wasn't going to make a move on her or anything. But I didn't want things to change more than they already had. And most of all, I didn't want anything to alter my dynamic with (Y/N).
But at the same time, somehow, it felt everything was already different between us.
- "Hey, honey bunny,"- (Y/N) walked to me and handed me a cup of coffee- "I thought you might need one of these."
- "You are a lifesaver,"- I whispered and sipped the cup. It was perfect.
We were on the jet on our way back home. The whole team was mostly quiet. The mood was weird. Ashley had done something quite reckless earlier and nearly got herself killed. She walked to the unsub's house all alone, not knowing he was our guy. She almost died, and none of us can even imagine what went through her head to do such a thing.
Rossi and Hotch walked to her. (Y/N) looked at me, and I could read on her face that both of us knew what was going to happen.
Ashley was alone when David sat in front of her, and Hotch stood in the middle of the aisle. Maybe that had been insensitive of us. Neither of us tried to contain her. Neither of us really knew her that well. Or at all, as a matter of fact.
- "You were not supposed to go off on your own."- Hotch went straight to the point.
- "I know,"- she whispered, and I could see how (Y/N)'s face changed. I tried to read her, but all I was able to see was... anger? I had to be wronged. She had no reason to be mad at Ashley.
- "You could have been killed,"- Hotch crossed his arms on his chest and stared at her.
- "I know that, too."
- "Why, Ashley? You're smarter than that"- Rossi sounded like a worried father. I didn't look at him 'cos I kept my eyes on (Y/N)'s, still trying to read her emotions. But what I saw made no sense. She really looked like she was angry at Ashley. Like she hated her.
- "I never got to apologize to any of the victims. The families of the women my father killed. I thought if I could just apologize to one family that had been hurt that way..."
And that was when (Y/N) snapped. She jumped from her seat and walked to Seaver. Aaron and David looked at her surprised, and Morgan turned to me, taking off his headphones. Neither he nor Prentiss got what was happening until that moment.
- "Ok. Shoot!"- (Y/N) sat right in front of Seaver, next to David, and looked at her. But she didn't get it.
- "What? What are you talking about?"
- "You just said you wanted to apologize to one of the families. So go ahead. Try."
The silence on the jet was so deep and awkward it felt no one was ever going to talk again.
- "I'm sorry, (Y/N). But I don't get what you are implying,"- Ashley's voice was a whisper. I knew she was sad and affected, embarrassed even. But I also knew (Y/N), and I could read it on her face. She wasn't joking.
- "You said you wanted to apologize to the family of one of your dad's victims, so go ahead. Apologize to me."
My first instinct was to stand up, which I did. But I froze and didn't take a step closer to (Y/N) when I noticed the severe and cold look in her eyes. I didn't know what she was talking about. But I knew she wasn't bluffing.
- "Why should I... apologize to you?"- Ashley asked her, and her voice broke at a certain point, probably scared of the answer.
- "Your dad killed my mother's older sister. She was in college,"- (Y/N) spit each word with hate and looked at Ashley, waiting for her reply. But Seaver didn't know what to do. She widened her eyes and stayed still. She barely kept her breathing steady.
- "(Y/N), maybe we should let Seaver rest,"- Hotch landed a hand on her shoulder, but my friend shook her head.
- "No, Hotch. By making that choice, she put everyone at risk,"- (Y/N) didn't take her eyes from Ashley as she spoke- "As far as I remember when you are at the academy, they teach you that in the field, we are responsible to and for your team."
- "(Y/N)... I had no idea..."- Ashley tried to apologize, I could see it, but it was clear she wasn't going to win that argument- "I am so sorry."
- "I don't know, Seaver. Did you think saying "sorry" would make those families feel better? 'Cos it ain't working here. "Sorry" won't make my mom stop feeling guilty about what happened. And, if things had gotten ugly back there, "sorry" wouldn't have made your mistake go away in case anyone would have gotten hurt. So no. Sorry doesn't help. Maybe it can ease your conscience, but when you really fuck it up, it never makes things better."
(Y/N) stood up and walked back to her seat in front of me. I let her pass and didn't say a word. I knew she wouldn't want to talk about it there. And, of course, Seaver didn't say a word. She just stood up and walked to the back of the jet, to the bathroom. Rossi and Hotch looked at each other and then looked at me.
David poured a glass of whiskey and walked to (Y/N) slowly. He didn't say a word, he just handed it to her, and she just took it and sipped it with shaky hands.
- "Thanks,"- she whispered, and Rossi nodded. Hotch raised an eyebrow, and for a moment, I thought he was going to say something, but he didn't. He just walked to his seat and opened a case file.
I moved back to my seat and opened my satchel. I had run out of candies earlier that day, so I didn't have much to give to her that could make her smile. So I picked a book and handed it to her. She took it and smiled at me kindly. I knew she was fighting back the tears, and I am sure she has held back all the emotions than being with the daughter of the man who killed her aunt since she knew who Seaver was. And she managed to do the job well. I was proud of her.
- "Wanna grab something to eat when we reach DC?"- I whispered, but for the first time ever, she shook her head.
- "I'm gonna have to catch a rain check for that dinner. I think I wanna go straight to my bed today, honey."- she sipped her glass again, and I nodded.
- "Don't worry, next time."
I was waiting for the train to go back home later that night when I saw Seaver sitting at a bench at the station, staring at her hands on her lap. I didn't see her leaving the BAU, though to be honest, I was really focused on finishing my paperwork to go home. (Y/N) had left as soon as we reached DC, but I had stayed a little longer.
I hesitated for a few seconds before I took a few steps closer and waved at Seaver. She looked at me surprised, as soon as she saw me, but didn't move. I smiled, trying to look friendly, and sat next to her.
- "Hi. What are you doing here?"- I asked her, and she shrugged.
- "I was going to go home, but I think I sat here half an hour ago and haven't been able to move,"- I turned to her and shook my head.
- "Do you want to eat something?"- after what had happened at the jet, I figured Ashley wasn't feeling so good, and maybe talking with someone could help her. She looked at me and blushed; I don't know why. But at least, she smiled and nodded.
- "Great, pizza?"
- "Pizza sounds good."
We were waiting for our food and making small talk. I kept giving Ashley pizza facts to fill the silence 'cos it was weird hanging out with Ashley. I didn't know her, really. We had worked a case together, but that didn't mean I knew her. And, of course, we had the whole jet incident. I felt a little guilty about what had happened, though it wasn't my fault at all in retrospect. I just felt like it was my job cheering her up a little bit after everything she had gone through.
- "How do you do it?"- she asked me all of a sudden- "How do you deal with the pressure of this job?"
- "You get used to it, I guess. I don't know if it's a good thing to get used to, but... it comes with the job, I think,"- I didn't know if I was doing ok comforting her. Then again, I have never been particularly good at it. Not then, not now.
- "Did you always dream about doing this?"- she asked me, and her eyes locked into mine in a way that made me feel slightly uncomfortable.
- "Y... yes. Ever since I was a kid, catching the bad guys,"- Seaver nodded and sipped her coke- "You? Why did you get into the academy?"
I regretted my question right after I asked, just 'cos I realized she might have done it to understand her father's behavior. It was only apparent that had shaped her actions.
- "I guess you know that..."- Ashley answered and smiled, her eyes looking straight into mine. I know I blushed. She is a beautiful woman, though I wasn't thinking about her that way. It was an odd feeling being observed that way.
I was glad our pizza made it to the table, and we were forced to stop talking, and I could focus on anything else but her. Not that I didn't want to look at her, but... I think the right way to explain it is to call it "uneasy." That's how I felt. I wanted to be friendly with her, she had a horrible experience consulting with the team, and I was sure she wasn't really having a good day.
- "This might sound weird, but... do you think I can call you sometime?"- Ashley asked after a few minutes. We were eating and talking about nothing important. I nearly chook at her words and looked at her, nodding.
- "Sure, why?"- I didn't mean to be rude. I just didn't know why she might need to talk to me again.
- "I just think maybe you could help me with a few assignments at the academy."
- "Yeah, of course."
Ashley Seaver smiled and nodded at me, pleased. She took a sip of Sprite, and I could read her, trying to find the words to continue speaking.
- "I'm glad. I was sure you were going to say no."
- "Why?"- I furrowed my brows, confused- "I'm not a big fan of phones, but I can handle a casual phone call."
- "No, I just didn't think your girlfriend would like... I mean, I think (Y/N) hates me, and as her boyfriend, I thought you... would... I don't know."
- "I'm, we are... we,"- I was completely flustered as I tried to rearrange my thoughts. Seaver looked at me innocently and waited for my words.
- "(Y/N) isn't my girlfriend"- it bothered me to admit that simple fact. Why? 'Cos it hurt to think we looked like a couple, but we weren't. Why did Seaver think we were together?
- "Really? But..."
- "She is my best friend,"- I explained poorly. She nodded and hesitated before saying what she was thinking. It was obvious she was trying to arrange the words in her head.
- "It's just that you two... sorry, I'm overstepping,"- Ashley blushed and shook her head- "She is... strong."
- "Yes, very."
- "I think I started with the wrong foot with her."
- "Well, I don't mean to justify anything, but if your father hurt,"- I made a pause, trying to find a way to say it that wasn't so painful.
- "Killed. My father killed her aunt,"- she corrected me with a cold and monotonous tone of voice. I just nodded and sipped my water.
- "She is an amazing person,"- I don't know if I was trying to excuse (Y/N)'s earlier behavior or if I just loved her so much I needed to tell people how awesome she was.
- "I'm sure you will pass this,"- I assured her- "Once you get to know her, and she gets to know you."
- "I don't think she will give me that chance. Besides, I was just clear to assist with only one case."
- "If you want to stay, you can request your remedial training be here. And if Hotch approves it, I could talk to (Y/N). I'm sure she will like to know you better."
Why did I say all that? I had no idea.
- "Thank you, Spence. You are really sweet,"- Ashley moved closer and held my hand. I stayed very still, absolutely awkward.
- "Yeah, I don't... like... holding hands,"- I quickly moved it away and tried to smile at her. She stayed still, not understanding my reaction but trying to act normal.
- "Sorry."
- "That's ok. I'm a germaphobe, that's all."
After pizza, we left the place and said goodnight. I told Ashley I was weary (which was, in fact, the truth) and got her a cab to take her home. After that, I walked to my place. I felt like I needed to be alone for a while. My head was overwhelmed, and in the latest couple of weeks, I had severe trouble sleeping.
I had migraines that nearly blinded me. I was scared they meant I could develop the first signs of schizophrenia, like mom, 'cos they were coming more and more often. It wasn't that bad yet, the light didn't hurt my eyes, and I didn't have any sign of hallucination, but still, I knew it could be serious.
I tried to think of a reason why I might be having those severe headaches. I was eating correctly, mostly 'cos (Y/N) forced me to eat. No, she didn't force me, but she made sure I had all my meals at work, not just coffee. And usually, at the weekends, we would spend our time together, and she was a fantastic cook. So it wasn't an alimentary issue.
I wasn't sleeping well. That wasn't new, but it was getting serious. I wrote and read a lot at night 'cos I couldn't fall asleep until late. I didn't know why. I just couldn't rest. My body ached, and my brain wouldn't sleep. The only nights I could actually get some rest were the ones when (Y/N) stayed with me. It was a blessing when Hotch paired us to share rooms, 'cos I could easily fall asleep when she was around. Her presence soothed me in a way that I didn't understand. Let me put it this way, I know it might sound cheesy, but the beating of her heart set the rhythm for my own, and at night it would bring me peace.
I reached home that night and sighed. I knew I wasn't going to rest easy. (Y/N) wasn't there with me. So I made myself a cup of herbal tea, (Y/N) had a lot of those in my house, and I drank them when I missed her. The smell coming from the cup made me feel like she was close.
How pathetic I had become! But I could only share those thoughts with myself. No one knew I had feelings for her, and I was going to deny it till the end, no matter what had JJ said. I couldn't take that phone call from my mind, and on those sleepless nights, I kept overthinking and overanalyzing everything.
I got into bed with a few books and my cup of herbal tea. I took a look at my cell phone, two new messages.
- "I miss u"
(Y/N) sent, and a warm feeling spread on my chest as I imagined her whispering those words as I read them
- "Breakfast tomorrow before work?"
- "See you at seven-thirty."
I typed and sent it.
What could ever happen if I told her how much in love I am with her? I would lose her, and I'd be alone. She didn't feel that way for me. It was a fact. I was just glad she was my best friend, and I could share everything with her. Was I pathetic? Yes, very, but in a way, it felt it was just all I deserved. Not more, not less. Just being in love with a girl who didn't love me back.
At least she wasn't dating Paul anymore. I hated that guy.
(Y/N)'s point of view
Spencer was waiting for me outside our usual coffee shop, already holding two cups of coffee. His short hair looked dreamy as she smiled and took off his sunglasses. It had to be illegal being that hot. But, seriously, how didn't he get laid? He was fucking dreamy. In the four years we had been best friends, I saw Spencer in many hairstyles, and each of them made him look like a model.
Falling in love with Spencer Reid had been a process I hadn't actually been fully aware of. But I was completely conscious I needed to hide those feelings from him and from everybody at the BAU.
Ok, fine, I had somehow faced part of those feelings in front of my drunk best buddies at Penelope's house, but I never actually confirmed anything. I had just... shared some of my frustrations, I guess.
- "Good morning, honey bunny,"- I smiled and sighed as I stood in front of Spencer, watching him grin back at me and hand me one of the coffee cups.
- "Good morning, chipmunk. Did you get some rest?"
- "Yes, I fell asleep as soon as I reached my bed. I was exhausted."
- "I'm glad you are fully rested."
- "What did you do yesterday?"
- "Nothing,"- he answered quickly and turned around- "I got you a carrot muffin to go."
- "Thank you so much. I'm starving. I didn't even have dinner yesterday."
- "Really?"
- "I told you, I reached home and crawled into my bed."
We walked outside the coffee shop in silence. Spencer bit his donuts, and I ate my muffin. It was nice and calming being with him doing domestic things in life.
I hated how much in love I was with him 'cos I knew I had to shake that feeling away. He was never going to have feelings for me. I was a regular human being, and Spencer Walter Reid was a genius. He deserved better, he was actually never to think about me that way, and I refused to ruin our friendship with those feelings.
- "So, Comic-con is coming. What are we doing this year?"- I asked as I drove us to Quantico.
- "I was thinking we should do something classic,"- he looked at me, nearly beaming on his seat- "We haven't done Star Wars yet."
- "Really?"- I frowned, confused- "All these years? Are you sure?"
- "(Y/N), eidetic memory,"- he argued, and I chuckled- "So, how do you feel about Leia?"
- "Do I have to be Leia 'cos I'm a girl?"- I asked him, and he flustered right away.
- "What? No, you can be whoever you want to be. I was just, it came to my mind... I didn't,"- I giggled and looked at him for a second.
- "I'm messing with you, Batsy. I always wanted to dress as Leia. Surprisingly, I never had. Padme once, it was a mess, but never Leia. Who are you planning to be?"
- "Maybe Luke... or Obi-Wan. Morgan suggested C3PO once."
- "If I'm Leia, you should be Han,"- I don't know why I said that out loud. I thought about it, I pictured it in my head, but I knew I shouldn't have said it. Then why did those words leave my mouth? I don't know.
- "Han Solo... yes... yeah, sure. Of course! We can pick our outfits this weekend."
- "Great! What do you think would look better? Slave Leia or classic all in white Leia?"- Spencer didn't answer. He just sipped his coffee and looked outside the window.
- "You would look good in both,"- his cellphone interrupted our conversations, and I thought it might be a case. But I was so wrong, it hurt.
- "Hello? Oh, hi, Ashley,"- I nearly hit the break as soon as I heard him saying her name, but instead, I turned around and looked at him.
- "Good, yes. On my way to work with (Y/N). Oh, that's good."
I didn't care what she was saying. I just needed to know why that bitch was calling him. I was blind in jealousy, and I was having a hard time hiding it.
- "Really? Emily? That's... that's great. Sure, we'll see you around, gotta go. Bye."
- "What the fuck?"- I swear, I didn't think what I was saying. Those words just slip through my lips straight from my guts. I hated Seaver.
- "That was Ashley."
- "Figured when you said "Hi Ashley." What? Are you best friends with her now?"
- "What? No! No way! She just wanted to say hi... and... She.... asked for my number 'cos she wanted to help her with some of the academy's projects,"- Spencer was so nervous he actually stuttered as he answered my simple question.
- "Of course, she did,"- my voice was bitter and hurt, but most of all, ironic. And I don't know if Spencer didn't want to understand me or actually didn't get the hint, but he just continued talking.
- "She wanted to tell me she requested her remedial training be at the BAU."
- "What?!"- that wasn't subtle. I actually yelled- "I'm gonna have to see her again?"
- "If Hotch approves..."
- "Fuck!! That's awful!!"- I hit the wheel, frustrated.
- "She's not a bad person, (Y/N). Her dad was a murderer, but that doesn't mean..."- I turned to look at Spencer for a second, and he just shut up- "Sorry."
- "I don't like her, Spencer."
- "Yes, I know."
- "Her dad killed my aunt!!"
- "I know..."
- "And on top of that, that bitch is..."
I had to bite my lips and focus on the road, actually holding my breath for a few seconds, just not to open my mouth and ruin it all.
The main reason why I hated Ashley Seaver wasn't just because of what her father had done. That itself was enough to keep her away. But on top of that, she was flirting with Spencer. She wasn't even subtle about it; she was nearly all over him. I saw her! She wanted him, and he had no idea! He was blind to her attention. Unless he liked it. Did he? Shit, I hoped not.
- "She what?"- Spencer whispered, scared of my reaction.
- "She plays the pity card the whole time. Bad things happen to all of us. You don't have to make it who you are, she does, and she expects sympathy."
I grabbed my muffin and took a big bite of it. Spencer sighed and stayed quiet for a moment, giving me space to decompress, I think.
- "Did you know the origins of carrot cake are disputed by many countries?"- I looked at Spencer, and he nodded- "Many food historians believe carrot cake originated from the English recipe of carrot puddings, eaten by Europeans in the Middle Ages when sugar and sweeteners were expensive, and many people used carrots as a substitute for sugar."
- "My mom would fight all those historians and convince them she invented it. Her carrot cake is the best."
- "And I would agree, the cake she baked for your last birthday was amazing."- I nodded and heard him chuckle as I kept my eyes on the road. I wanted to focus on the memories of my last birthday and how fun it was, but something was bugging me.
- "And why did she call you to tell you what she wanted to do?"- I parked the car outside the BAU and turned to Spencer. He opened his mouth, but no word came from it. So I asked him again.
- "Honey, why did Seaver call you to announce she would take the remedial training at the BAU?"
- "It... might... had been my idea,"- he whispered and held his satchel tight against his body. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't believe it.
- "Why on earth did you do that, Spencer?!"- I shouted as I got out of the car, grabbed my purse, my clean go bag in case we had a case, and started walking towards the building.
- "It wasn't like a suggestion. She just..."
- "I can't believe it!!"
- "It doesn't have to be that bad! It's just for a few weeks..."
- "Hopefully, Hotch won't accept."
- "(Y/N), come on,"- Spencer held my hand and stopped me- "This is not like you. Yeah, you don't like her, but you are making it a big deal, and it's not."
- "I'm starting to think you are crushed on her,"- I didn't want to say those words. They just slipped.
- "What!? Why? No!! I'm not!"- the high pitch on Spencer's voice was a clear sign of how uncomfortable he was with the conversation.
- "Then why are you defending her?"
- "I am not! I'm just saying maybe you are acting a little bit... irrational about this whole thing. She hasn't done anything bad."
- "Other than jeopardizing the whole case yesterday?"
- "Right, other than that..."
I felt Spencer's hand in mine, and I swear, I couldn't stop thinking about how it felt. It kept sending shivers all over my body. His thumb rubbed small circles on my skin, probably trying to calm me down, and it worked. I followed it with my eyes for a second as I took a few deep breaths and nodded.
- "Ok, I won't make a big deal if she stays."
- "Thank you."
- "Just... don't ask me to be her friend."
- "You don't have to be her friend."
Spencer stood in front of me and smiled. I swear all I could think of was kissing him. And a part of me felt it was getting harder and harder to resist. He put on his sunglasses and kept his hand in mine for a moment until Penelope's voice took us from our little bubble.
- "Good morning, my wonder babies!! Ready to fight crime?"
I actually didn't know what I was getting into.
Hotch had taken the day off. We were around the one-year anniversary of Haley's death, and according to what Rossi explained to us, Jack wasn't feeling so good. It was said it would be just a day or two, but I had the feeling it might be a couple of weeks. Hotch would always put himself second, but he would do whatever it took to keep him safe when it came to his son.
Morgan had been asked to take a trip to Petersburg Federal Correctional Complex to do a risk assessment on a case, so Spencer, Prentiss, and I were in the bullpen. Garcia was in her office, and Rossi was in a meeting with Strauss. I'd say it was a very calm morning, catching up with all the pending paperwork we had. Spencer had just gotten me a cup of coffee when I heard Seaver's cheerful voice.
- "Hi guys!"- she walked in with a big smile and waved- "How are you?"
Spencer looked at me as we all said our hellos. I could almost read "Please, be nice" written all over his face, and for a moment, I was willing to do as told. I didn't want him to suspect why I was so annoyed by her after all.
- "I talked to Hotch"- Emily smiled at Seaver and moved a chair for her- He signed off your remedial training, and I'll be your training agent. I'll supervise your work. I already told Rossi too, so it's official.
Ashley jumped from her chair and hugged Emily. I rolled my eyes and stared at the file on my desk. I really wasn't ready to deal with her. I wasn't prepared to deal with someone trying to steal Spencer from me.
Ok, Spencer wasn't mine to keep, but we had been inseparable for four years, and I didn't want to lose that. I didn't want to lose him.
I had never been ready to deal with Spencer dating other girls. The few times girls had hit on him had been awful. Once, Morgan took him to a club when we were on a case, 'cos the unsub was picking his victims there, and he taught him how to pick up girls. The bartender ended up giving him her number 'cos my dorky best friend was charming. Derek still remembered that moment from time to time, quoting it as "The day he turned Spencer into a man."
I loved Derek, but fuck, I hated him sometimes.
- "Welcome to the team,"- Spencer waved at Seaver from his desk and turned to me, raising an eyebrow.
- "Yeah, welcome,"- I added and cut her a short smile.
- "I'm thrilled to join you guys for a few weeks. I always dreamt of being here. I'm ready for making it up after the last case."
- "Don't be so hard on yourself,"- Prentiss interrupted her and smiled friendly- "You remained calm under pressure, and the case was solved. That's all that matters."
I had to control myself not to snort after Emily's words. Instead, I kept my eyes locked on my desk like I had done before. I was so focused on it that I could have actually developed telekinesis skills and moved the freaking file with my eyes.
- "I just wanted to say thank you to all of you,"- Seaver's voice was soft, in a mix of fear, excitement, and... something else I couldn't read.
- "Especially you, Spencer. I really enjoyed our talk last night, and I have the feeling I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. Thank you for the pizza. I owe you dinner."
- "Don't, it was nothing,"- Spencer flustered and stood up quickly, grabbing his pile of files and walking away, arguing he needed to ask Garcia something.
I did my best not to move a muscle. I didn't want Seaver to know how much I hated the fact she had shared what seemed to be a lovely evening with Spencer. One he didn't actually mention when we talked about what we had done the previous evening. Why did he decide to keep me in the dark? I couldn't understand that. Maybe he just didn't want me to know he actually had feelings for Seaver. Maybe he had asked her out, and because he knew I hated her (though he really didn't know why), he decided not to tell me what was going on.
I had been wasting all that time in love with Spencer. I knew I would never act on those feelings, and clearly, he didn't have feelings for me. So... maybe it was time to let him go.
How could I let Spencer Reid go when I never actually had him?
–
DIWK Taglist:
@all-tings-diego @big-galaxy-chaos @muffin-cup @shilohpug @eternalharry @tvandfanfic @fandomtrash2405
Spencer taglist
@calm-and-doctor
General Taglist
@spenxerslut @ash19871962 @babebenhardy @meowiemari @archer561
–
Do you want to be on the taglist or ramble about this chapter with me? Just send me a message here.
Next update: June 16th, 2021
#spencer reid#Criminal minds#matthew gray gubler#diwk#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x you#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds re write
149 notes
·
View notes
Text
Imma Take Care Of Your Body (NSFW)
Clay Spenser x Reader
A/N THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN REBEL IS IN A THIRSTY AS FUCK MOOD!!! Also this took me THE WHOLE FUCKING DAY to write please show it some love.
Warnings: PURE AND UTTER FILTH! Was gonna put warnings on this but there’s too much to list 😂
Join The Group Chat Here - If You Want Tagging Manually Let Me Know 🖤
Clay Spenser Masterlist
This Months Writing
Being one of the few females on deployment had its advantages, the main one being, you got a hooch to yourself. You didn’t have to bunk with the rest of Bravo. The one major downside was you couldn’t always fill that need on your own, and the rest of the team had no idea of your little arrangement with a certain blondie, well that’s what you thought anyway. You had a itch that was in desperate need of scratching but you had no idea when you and Clay could sneak off to have some fun of your own.
Walking out of your hooch, the warm breeze tickled your skin, it was the first night of deployment so everyone was chilling around the fire pit, beers on hand. Looking around you saw that every seat was taken, and you didn’t fancy sitting on the floor, the sand was a bitch to clean out.
“That’s it guys,” you laughed grabbing a beer from the cooler. “Take all the seats, it’s fine, I didn’t want to sit down anyway!”
“Why you always gotta be dramatic Y/L/N?” Sonny laughed.
“Urm because dramatic is my middle name, Sunshine.” You laughed, hitting round the back of his head. Before moving round the group, standing the stop between Clay and Trent.
“I got the perfect seat for you baby,” Clay said lowly so only you could hear, as he glanced down at his lap, his hand position perfectly, near his crotch. “You know this seat is always free for you.”
“Is that right Blondie?” You whispered as Clay pulled you down onto this lap, this wasn’t out of the ordinary for the two of you, so no one mentioned it.
It was like Clay knew what you were feeling, as he didn’t stop bouncing his leg, it also meant he was in a teasing mood.
“Quit wiggling would ya!” you laughed.
“Why, is it getting to you baby?” He hummed against your ear, his hot breath tickling your skin and you could feel his semi pressing right against the spot you needed him the most.
“Clay,” You said, meaning for it to come out at a warning but instead it came out breathless.
“What’s up babygirl?” He hummed, gently grazing his teeth against your skin.
“You know what, Spenser.” You said as you took a deep breath, trying not to show just how turned on you were right now, it was like a game to Clay. He always tried to tease you in front of everyone.
“Don’t know what you are on about, Princess.” He whispered as he moved his free hand to your thigh. “But you can’t hide how turned on you are , you know I know every inch of this body, and just how it reacts to my touch.”
You couldn’t help but bite your lip as his hand ran up and down your thigh.
“You know Imma take care of this body,” he whispered, “kiss every inch of this soft skin, teasing you, slowly running my fingers over your clit, before pushing my fingers inside of you.”
“Clay, please stop,” you breathed as you squeezed your thighs together.
“Princess, you know I never stop,” he laughed, as he slowly pressed his hard on against your core “I’m going to watch as you squirm in pleasure from just the feeling of my fingers, moaning my name, making you feel like no one else can.”
“Mmm,” you hummed, as you let your eyes flutter closed.
“I wanna feel your body pressed against mine, listen to you moan as I slowly push my hard cock in you, giving you what you really want.” He breathed.
“Oh god,” you mumbled, as he pressed up against you again.
“But you won’t get any of it baby, not until I hear you say it.” he whispered, gently biting your ear lobe.
“Fuck” you breathed. “I need you Clay, so fucking bad”
“That’s a good girl.” he smirked, kissing your forehead. “Who am I to deny you of what you need, let’s go”
You didn’t need to think twice, as you stood up without saying anything to anyone. You headed back to your hooch, with Clay following close behind you.
The moment you were behind closed doors, he pinned you against the wall, his lips crashing down on yours as he pressed his body against yours. You couldn’t lie you were addicted to him, the way he made you feel was like nothing you had ever felt before.
“Fuck, you don’t know how bad I want you right now” he breathed against your lips, as his fingers fumbled with the button on your trousers.
“I’m all yours to take,” you whimpered, leaning into his touch.
“You just know the right things to say to me,” he growled as he pushed your trousers down your legs, pulling your shirt over your head, leaving you standing there in just your underwear, his eyes roaming your body before pushing you down onto the bed. “Damn you are so fucking perfect” he hummed as he pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it on the floor.
“Clay, please,” you whimpered, making him smirk “I need you so bad”
“Patience babygirl,” he smirked as he dropped his jeans and boxers, making your mouth water at the sight that was in front of you. “I told you how things are going to go!”
“Yeah well, change of plan,” you giggled, as you crawled over to him, leaning back on your heels as you kissed his thick thighs, his breathing getting heavier as you got closer to his dick. “You always focus on me, it’s time I returned the favour” without any warning you ran your tongue along the underside of his shaft, feeling the veins against your tongue, slowly making your way to the head as his fingers knotted themselves into your hair, throwing his head back as you sucked slightly harder before taking him all on your mouth. It took a couple of attempts and some gagging, due to him being big and thick, but you weren’t giving up until you had all only him in your mouth.
“Fuck,” Clay grunted, as his grip on your hair tightened, “You and that pretty little mouth of yours will get you into so much trouble one day babygirl.”
Looking up at him through your lashes, as you continued to make him feel as good as he makes you feel, his heavy breathing and grunts, spurred you on, feeling his dick twitch in your mouth. Before he pulled your hair, pulling you off him.
“Playtime is over, Princess,” he growled, as he managed to unclasp your bra with one hand, before pushing you down on the bed. His lips connecting with your neck, gently sucking and nipping at your skin, sending sparks through your body, Clay knew your body like the back of hand, so he knew just what buttons to press.
He slowly and agonisingly, moved down your body, placing hot, open mouthed kisses across your skin, he was in this for the long game and you knew after you would be exhausted, but it was so worth it.
“Clay, please stop teasing.” You cried as he slowly ran his fingers through your wet folds, smirking when he realised just how much he was effecting you. Without warning he pushed two fingers inside of you, making you cry in pleasure, arching your back as he curled his fingers finding your g spot. “Oh god,” you moaned.
“God I love hearing you moan my name,” he hummed against your throbbing clit, the feeling of his breath adding to everything you were feeling, the moment his tongue found your clit made you scream out, tangling your fingers in his hair, your whole body felt like it was on fire and was about to explode any moment, Clay also knew this as you felt him smirk before stopping everything he was doing, making you whine in annoyance, you were so fucking close. “I’m in charge, Princess, you remember that. And you cum when I allow it.”
Feeling him slowly pull his fingers out, you whimpered from the loss of feeling of him, but it wasn’t long before his fingers were at your mouth, without thinking you took his fingers in your mouth, sucking them clean, tasting yourself on him only made you hornier. You didn’t know what it was but Clay always managed to bring the inner slut out of you, doing things you’d never do with anyone else.
“That’s my good girl,” Clay breathed, as you looked up at him through your lashes. “Now where is it? And don’t bother trying to tell me you didn’t bring it because I know you did,” he laughed as he looked around the room. “I know you just can’t live without my cock baby.”
“Backpack,” you breathed, as he took his fingers from your mouth. The anticipation of what was coming was driving you crazy, the item in question was originally meant as a gag gift but now it was something you couldn’t live without.
“Got ya.” Clay grinned as he pulled the black box out, pulling the vibrator out, but this wasn’t your standard vibrator, this was molded from his own cock. “See I knew this gift would be the best thing ever.”
“Baby please,” you moaned as he turned the vibrator onto the fastest setting, holding it against your clit, making your squirm. “I just need you,” you breathed “need you so fucking bad.”
“Patience Princess,” he laughed, watching your breathing get heavier, grasping at the sheets as he kept the toy pressed against you. “Tell me babygirl, how often to you fuck yourself with this, wishing it was the real thing?”
“All the goddamn time,” you cried, bucking your hips against the toy, trying to get some sort of release. “Please Clay,” you whimpered “please just fuck me.”
“Well seen as you asked so nicely,” he grinned as he positioned himself against you, reaching up grabbing a spare pillow to put under your ass, both of your moans filled the room as he finally pushed his solid cock in you.
“Oh fuck,” you cried as you clawed at his arms, the feeling of his hard thrusts and the toy still pressed against you clit sent your body into a frenzy, your legs were shaking and your eyes were rolling back in pleasure. “Oh god, Clay.”
“Fuck baby,” Clay grunted as his grip on your hips got tighter. “Don’t you dare cum yet Princess, not yet.”
“I’m so close,” you cried.
“Soon babygirl, soon,” he moaned as he felt you tighten around his cock. “Fuck you are so tight.”
“Fuck, please, shit,” you cried, the pleasure was just too much for you, the overstimulation and his long hard thrusts were too much, and you couldn’t hold back any longer. Digging your fingers into his arms, you cried out, you didn’t care that the walls were thin and the whole base could probably hear you screaming Clay’s name as the most intense orgasm washed over you, your whole body was shaking as Clay continued to thrust, his grip on your hips getting tighter, and would definitely leave marks but you didn’t care right now, all that mattered was the connection you had with Clay.
Opening your eyes, you bit your lip as you got lost in his blue eyes, your heart was pounding against your chest, your breathing was heavy and it felt like you were floating as you road out your high as Clay found his own climax, his face screwing up, as he took his final thrust, moaning your name as he came.
The toy had now been turned off and tossed to the side, as he collapsed on top of you, taking his weight on his arms, resting his forehead against yours.
“Fuck baby,” he groaned, trying to catch his breath.
“Tell me about it,” you breathed, resting one hand on his cheek and the other in the centre of his chest. “Think that’s the hardest you have made me cum.”
“Won’t be the last either,” he smirked, pausing in thought for a second, as he pulled out. “I want more Y/N.”
“Damn boy, let me recover first.” You giggled as he helped clean you up before laying next to you, pulling you into his arms, resting your head on his chest.
“No, I’m fucking spent right now.” He laughed “What I mean is I want more, don’t get me wrong the sex is mind blowing, but I don’t just want us to be each other’s booty calls. I want to be able to call you my girl.”
“Good job I want the same then.” You whispered running your fingers over his chest.
He didn’t say anything, he didn’t need to, his kiss said everything that needed to be said. Yes the lust was still there, but it was full of passion and love and once again left you breathless.
“I guess we better go rejoin the group,” he whispered against your lips.
“Mmm, ten more minutes,” you whispered, “I don’t wanna leave our bubble just yet and face the real world.”
“I mean if they didn’t know something was going on between us, they sure do now. You really don’t know how to be quiet, do you Princess? Might have to gag you next time.”
“Is that a promise, Spenser?”
@chibsytelford @mrsmarvelous1995 @supervalcsi @talicat713 @disasterfandoms @bravo-four-seal-team @jasonbabymama @jayhalsteadfan-2417 @lotsoflovefromlea @seik-o @ohitshanksgirlxo @velvetcardiganbucky @phoenixhalliwell @pancakeisreading @itsonautopilot @pinkrockstar19 @galaxysanduniversesinmymind @softi92 @abby-splace @withmyteeth
#Clay Spenser#clay spenser x reader#clay spenser imagine#clay spenser oneshot#seal team#seal team x reader#seal team imagine#seal team oneshot#rebel was in a mood today
245 notes
·
View notes
Note
Okokok but Stell. Stell. My beloved. This has no context but like.
The fact Tommy thinks he has to be the hero again isn't even wrong. Like. Don't get me wrong it sucks but the facts are that he's the only one willing to be "the hero" and someone has to be.
And of course he thinks that. He was waiting for a hero to safe him and everyone for weeks when he was in exile and noone came. Noone attempted to really help him or anything.
Even Tubbo who decided to visit him just a few days after he left wouldn't have been there to save him or anything. He would have just visited him (and like don't get me wrong that would've been amazing but still)
Tommy's whole narrative has always been about not waiting around. His inability to take proper charge is what enabled (and listen I don't blame him for this) Wilbur to blow up Lmanberg. In exile with Dream he waited for weeks for someone to help him and it just made things worse and if he hadn't managed to once again take matters into his own hands he would've died there.
Right now he has to be "the hero" again because Wilbur is going to free dream and dream will kill Tubbo and everything will go down the drain again because people on this server are lazy fucks.
I mean technoblade who for some reason made it his mission to "protect the server" from tyranny *cough cough police everybody's life's cough cough* took weeks to actually do something against the eggpire. At that point they had kidnapped several people and brainwashed even more. He was there when they locked ranboo with the egg and he just. Waited for weeks after that to actually do something. Like I'm sorry but no wonder Dream sees Tommy as special. The kid is the only one who has actual priorities.
Like I get that he's the only one with a lot of important info but jfc it's not like him telling people would actually change a lot. Like Jesus fuck. This guy is the only somewhat competent motherfucker on this server and the only actually competent one is dream.
Like yknow how we joke about how Tommy can't have a villain arc cuz he's too good? Quite frankly he can't have one because who tf would stop him, either. Like he'd have to invest 0.5 braincells and he'd have won.
No seriously
The eggpire has been doing more than just shady shit for months just getting more and more obvious. And noone was actually doing anything. Some ppl said "mmm I don't like this" and then just kinda... Watched. Again. Technoblade watched ranboo get trapped and yeah he rescued him but then they just. Fckin left. Dream invested some braincells and was able to go "undetected" in broad daylight. Showcasing his villainy and if it wasn't for Tommy he would have gotten away with it Scott free.
If Tommy actually wanted to be a villain? Bitch could do it and fckin succeed because who the actual fuck would even get off their ass to stop him if he's somewhat smart about it?
Anyways that's my rant for today c ya
I love this whole rant so much!
Also yeah, the server as a whole is made of a bunch of lazy useless f*ckers who absolutely LOVE grand epic speaches, but that are completely USELESS when it comes to actually DOING something.
Like, remember the Green Festival when Dream openly admitted in front of EVERYONE that he manipulated Tubbo that whole time just because he wanted the thing he needed to control Tommy before destroying L’Manburg and everyone’s conclusion was SOMEHOW that Tommy was the viallin in all of that?
This fricking idiots have the deduction skills of a 2 years old and the capacity for action of a new born kitten.
That’s of course unless it comes to destroying stuff and causing trauma for some people *cough cough* Techno and Phil *cough cough* by exploding countries and allying themselves with the absolute worst f*ckers in existence with zero repercussions, but I digress!
Quackity is a bit of an exception to this whole thing because he’s the only f*cker aside from Tommy who TRIES to do something! He tried to de-convert BBH, he tried to explode the Egg, he tried to get rid of Techno (justified or not, at least he was DOING something), he is trying to get the knowledge out of Dream so he won’t be useful anymore and he stopped the banquet. Man is actually useful.
But everyone else???
Like, my guys, it really WASN’T that hard to see through Dream’s or the Eggpire bullshit, both of them where actually absurdly open in their f*ckery, WHY did NO ONE ever do anything aside from Tommy and Quackity??
Like of f*cking course Tommy feels like all the responsabilities are on his shoulders, because they fricking are! Who else is gonna stop Wilbur? Phil who SOMEHOW immediately started believing him AGAIN after confronting him about lying to him for months and being persuaded that the assisted suicide was actually the best case scenario? The man who was living in New L’Manburg for WEEKS and yet somehow failed to learn ANY history about them??? Like, who is gonna do it??
#ladycatland ask#tommyinnit#dream smp#long post#this was one hell of a long ass rant from both of us#we are absolutely 100% right though#it's a nice sentiment saying that tommy 'shouldn't have to be the hero'#but truth is that everyone else is just utterly incompetent...
157 notes
·
View notes
Note
(Friendly Giant au) One day after Wilbur is more comfortable with Ranboo touching him he goes to leave for the night like Tommy used to do but then Ranboo just gently squishes him between his hands like 'no it's cuddle time'
Boundaries
Friendly Giant AU
cw//language
(Anon I took this in a very angsty direction I apologize in advance also I rushed finishing this so I will go back and edit later I promise)
——————————
It was a couple months after Wilbur started coming to visit when Ranboo tried to make him stay. Wilbur still didn’t come every day- it was more like once or twice a week if anything- and he absolutely never stayed the whole night. On the nights he did come Tommy would walk him home around midnight which unfortunately meant he wasn’t around the rest of the night.
But Ranboo wished he would stay. He really wished he would stay. Every time he watched the still-cautious man leave his den he had to fight against every part of himself to not pull him back. He wasn’t part of his “family” yet...but he was pretty close.
So one night when Wilbur turned to leave Ranboo just couldn’t resist. He was tired and Tubbo was already curled up on his chest and he just couldn’t stop himself. He didn’t want Tommy and Wilbur to leave...he wanted them in his hands.
Quickly, he slammed his hand down across the entrance and felt the two humans bump into his knuckles.
“Stay,” he yawned.
The two humans backed up from his hand but before they could get away he scooped them up and pulled them against his chest. The feeling of their small movements made his already jumbled thoughts even hazier, and vaguely he registered that he was purring.
“Hey! Let go,” Tommy yelped.
The small human pushed against his hands but Ranboo couldn’t bring himself to free them. They would leave if he let them go...
“Stop being a bitch! Wil’s freaking out man!” Tommy shouted and suddenly Ranboo’s head cleared.
With a gasp of realization he dropped the humans back down and watched as Wilbur curled up on himself. The man’s breaths came in short painful bursts making Ranboo’s heart scream. Meanwhile Tommy rubbed his back trying to calm him down.
He had done that. He hurt him. Ranboo wanted to run away, to leave and not be seen again by the small human.
He knew Wilbur didn’t like being touched and he still did it.
“-ay?” Tubbo asked. Ranboo only caught a little bit, but by the concerned expression of Tubbo’s face he could tell it was a question.
Tubbo carefully jumped off of Ranboo’s chest and approached his older brother, “What happened?”
“Nothing bad,” Tommy reassured, “Ranboo just had one of his moods and it freaked him out.”
“I’m so sorry...” Ranboo whispered.
“It’s fine,” Tommy snapped, “He’s just afraid still...this is hard for him yaknow.”
Ranboo’s ears twitched back in anguish. He had scared Wilbur...
Ranboo turned and gave Tommy a quick nod before pacing away into a deeper part of the den. He couldn’t bring himself to stay and watch the aftermath of what he did. He didn’t mean to scare him.
His feet carried him deeper and deeper into the dark cavern. It got to the point where he had to duck down under the dripping rock...he guessed he’d gotten taller again...great. When he finally stopped he was in front of the small River running through the rocks. The water spit at his feet making him shiver at the cold touch.
Slowly he knelt down next to water. Faintly he could see his own reflection on the ever-shifting surface. It was terrifying.
Sometimes he was able to forget just how different he was from the people he cared so much about, but at that moment, looking at himself in the river, he felt awful. Of course Wilbur was terrified of him, if he was the human he would be scared too. His lips barely covered his sharp teeth and his eyes were cat-like and predatory. Everything about him was monstrous- everything.
A couple minutes later his ears twitched back as light footsteps approached from behind.
“Hey big man,” Tubbo whispered, “You feeling okay?”
Ranboo kept his head down even when Tubbo had sat down beside him. He was so small... with Ranboo kneeling Tubbo barely even reached his foot.
“He’s okay you know. He went home with Tommy but he’s okay,” Tubbo said, filling the silence.
Ranboo hummed in acknowledgment but the reflection in the river told a completely different story. He was a monster and he had attacked a human. It was simple. He had scared him, and because of what he did Wilbur probably wouldn’t come back.
It hurt but he didn’t blame him.
“Boo come on look at me,” Tubbo begged, “Wil’s fine. It’s okay, let’s go back so we-“
“Stop!” Ranboo snapped and beside him Tubbo fell silent.
“Just...please stop Tubbo,” he whimpered, “I hurt him. I knew he hated me touching him and I did it anyway. I knew he didn’t trust me and I still hurt him...I’m a monster Tubbo.”
Tubbo frowned at his friend and climbed up onto his lap. Gently he patted Ranboo’s knee, “You’re not a monster Boo...you’re just different. It’s not a bad thing, itll just take Wilbur a little longer to be okay with it.”
“It’s because I’m a monster though,” Ranboo snapped, “I am and I know it. Wilbur is afraid of me Tommy barely trusts me and even you were scared when you first met me. I should have just stayed out of it and left you all alone.”
“And let me hang there till I died?” Tubbo snapped, “Let Tommy get fucking mauled or let Michael get eaten?”
Ranboo squinted at Tubbo who stood up with fury in his eyes.
“You really think it would have been better to let us die?”
“No that’s not what I-“
“That’s what would have happened if you didn’t help,” Tubbo snapped, “You’re not a fucking monster Ranboo.”
Ranboo opened his mouth to fight back until he noticed the tears forming in Tubbo’s eyes. The human desperately tried to wipe them off his face.
“Do you think we don’t care about you?” Tubbo asked.
Ranboo’s ears flattened against his head, “No that’s not what I-“
“Okay then stop acting like it’s bad that we met,” Tubbo said, “you’re my friend Ranboo. Your appearance isn’t going to turn me away anytime now.”
A sigh left Ranboo’s lips and slowly he let Tubbo crawl into his hands.
“I’m getting bigger you know...” he muttered after a moment.
Tubbo nodded, “I know.”
“Doesn’t that scare you?”
Tubbo shook his head and patted the palm of Ranboo’s hand, the fingers subconsciously moved to wrap around him.
“No, why would it?”
“I could hurt you,” Ranboo whispered, “I have no idea how much bigger I’ll get.”
Tubbo hummed in response and tilted his head at the giant, “So what? You’re already big, whats a little more height gonna do? It’s not like you’re suddenly gonna try to squish me big man.”
“Of course not I just...what if I can’t help it,” Ranboo sighed, “What if I don’t mean to hurt you and I still do...”
“Then I won’t be mad,” Tubbo shrugged, “And I know you wouldn’t hurt me. It doesn’t matter if we’re like this or I’m like the size of a fly to you, I trust you.”
“Tubbo you dont...I could kill you or- or seriously hurt you,” he whispered, “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Boo...don’t worry about that now,” he sighed, “If we get to the point where you’re too big I’ll find a different way to be with you, but it’s not a problem now. You make me feel safe Ranboo.”
Ranboo squinted at Tubbo cautiously and watched as the small human wrapped his thumb in a hug. Slowly he brought him up to his face and let his heart have its fill. He was scared still...but he loved having Tubbo close.
“Come on big man you’re my pillow,” Tubbo laughed as he patted the tip of Ranboo’s nose.
Ranboo pressed his nose into the boy knocking him over, “Yeah...okay.”
152 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
disruptedlogic
i hit my peak at seven feet .
turkwriter
Turkwriter's thoughts on different fandoms
xmccree-blog
► :|| ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ｏｒ ᴀʟɪᴠᴇ
elu1607
Untitled
telefonamitra20anni
Telefonamitra20anni