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#but I was having fun with it and I was happier to lose and play a great game
korlkorl · 2 days
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YAY! i greatly enjoyed your shoujo au!!! it was amazing to read, ty for your contribution to humanity u r doing god's work frfr!!! would you be willing to write a hanahaki au for the twst second years? (preferably an angsty ending, but if you would prefer something happier, that's 100% fine with me!! i'm not picky!!) 🤭♥️
hanahaki + second years
hanahaki: a fictional disease caused by unrequited love in which you vomit blood and flower petals (flowers tend to relate to the person you) and although there is an option for treatment, you become numb to emotions. if you don’t get treatment, you die.
(I decided to add how the twst seconds years would treat the disease— will they get treatment or not?)
not very good angst warning under the cut!!!
riddle rosehearts
riddle grew up alone, mostly. every time he seeked for comfort, for company, it’ll fall apart. it would always go wrong, he’d lose everything the moment he got too greedy.
riddle still struggled to properly face trey and chen’ya after all those years, even if he got better with it. it was too embarrassing, too lame. he felt like a loser. a sore loser who deserved nothing. oh sevens, did the world have something against him?
things were looking on the bright side. he was out of his mother’s furious grip, he has more freedom than he ever did (even if he goes by strict rules) he could make as many friends as he liked and hang out with them as much as he liked.
he still preferred being private, however. he liked his friends, you included. they were more understanding of him than any other member of the school. although he’d twist and turn in bed when he thinks back to his overblot (how embarrassing of me! he thinks) he would still much prefer being with those who accepted him a long time ago.
you weren’t too big on sweets. you liked them, sure, but the more you ate the more your mouth felt itchy. knowing riddle’s sweet tooth, sometimes, you’d secretly pass your unfinished slice of cake or unfinished strawberry tart to him. riddle rosehearts, the strict, germaphobic, lowkey a dictator, heartily took it.
if it were anyone else, he’d just stare at them in disbelief. but the thought that you bit into the very sweet treat, it threw him over the moon. he’d read of indirect kisses before, in cheesy romances he read in his spare time. he doesn’t know if this is actually an indirect kiss, but don’t make fun of him, he’s still learning!
riddle has a lot of firsts, like the first time he tried that strawberry tart, or the first time he learned that playing with friends is fun, or the first time he ever overblotted, or the first time he fell in love.
you were his first love.
he turns red when alone, imagining your face and your laughter and your joy. your silly mishaps that he has no heart on lecturing you over, or your inability to understand some of the assignments. he finds all aspects of you cute— wonderful? he doesn’t know how to describe what he’d feeling, but it gets him all giddy.
he’s frustrated often, the way he started blushing violently when you ever get in close contact with him and how you always, always seem to be unaware of this. oblivion would send you to hell.
he’s been feeling quite nauseous lately, probably because of his failed attempts of clumsily sending you signals about how he feels.
it was to a point where he threw up… petals? petals…??????? oh my god, he’s throwing up petals!!!
riddle distinctively remembers reading about this during his first year, a disease of romance, love, and failure.
his heart sinks. maybe that’s why you failed to notice.
things never go his way, riddle thinks. he’s always feeling alone. every time he gets greedy for comfort, he loses it at the highest point of his life. when things are getting better, it takes turns for the worse. that’s why riddle likes to follow the rules.
by his third year, riddle’s back to being his strict, controlling prefect. except something’s different, he’s not as angry anymore.
that’s to be expected, though. ever since the surgery, riddle has never been the same.
ruggie bucchi
he has grown up to treasure everything he has.
ruggie isn’t as financially stable as others, he wasn’t lucky to be fortunate enough to get what he wants, whenever he wants.
so when he does get what he wants, ruggie makes sure to keep it close to his heart like it means everything. most of the time, it does mean everything, all of it. his life.
he hardly gives away his things (please don’t mention the kids at the slums, he’ll turn awfully shy.) and takes anything he’s given.
when you would give him the tiniest amount of food, he’d gladly snatch it from your hands and walk away snickering.
easy target for food is what you are, he thinks.
most of the time, when people give things away to him, ruggie just assumes that it’s unwanted. he’d take leftovers no problem. it’s only when you’d constantly hand things to him, always have something to give him and remember he exists, does he think you’re odd. I mean, he’s fine with taking the forgotten leftovers, but what could he possibly do when you don’t forget him?
watch ruggie clumsily fiddle around with his fingers, scanning the area for your presence. he has learned to not worry, as you always manage to come find him everyday without fail. he feels noticed.
he starts to crave for that attention.
ruggie treasures things. he keeps them close in his heart very carefully. but what would he do when you steal his heart instead? where can he hide all the things that mean everything to him?
somehow, he doesn’t mind. he wants you to see him more, ruggie bucchi, his true self.
the crave he has for you is for some odd reason, unmet. you’re oblivious to his shy antics, the way his ears turn flat when you walk away or the way he holds onto the hem of your shirt just for a second longer.
notice him.
notice him.
notice him.
when you see the way he unconsciously covers his mouth whenever you meet eyes with him, or the how he’s constantly going to the infirmary, will you finally notice him?
there’s a trail of your favourite flowers.
ruggie bucchi keeps all the special things close to his heart. when you take his heart away, how else can he express his pathetic, unrequited love? by coughing up a disease ruggie would’ve called embarrassing and shameful if it weren’t for you.
azul ashengrotto
azul is sensitive. he notices things way too easily. the tiny, insignificant details of someone and how they react, he will notice. that is how azul finds out how a person truly feels about him.
even if azul and that other person were considered close friends, azul would still notice the tiny little details that make him unlikable to them even just a little. it’s been a habit for as long as he could remember.
everyone always had something they disliked about azul. it was fine with him, that was normal. everyone dislikes everyone about anything. it’s not like it deters long lasting relationships. azul shrugs it off, it doesn’t bother him. it’s comforting, even, knowing what people think about him.
so it was obvious to say it was near-horrid when no matter how much time azul spent time with you, he could not spot anything off about you, anything that said you didn’t like him.
as much as azul notices how people act around him, he also notices other people. he knows all their flaws, their good sides and their bad sides. even if he couldn’t read your thoughts about him at all, he still expected to see something out of the norm about you, a bad trait, something that made you human.
to him, you had none.
were you god? how come you were near-perfect in his eyes? during cold months, the tips of your nose and ears would flush pink like a cute plum while azul turned embarrassingly red. he thought it was ugly and didn’t make him look good, but there nothing to prove that you thought the same. he couldn’t tell anything about you at all.
you were like a confusing puzzle piece to him. unsolvable, unreadable, flawless. perfect.
it took a while to adjust, but his unwavering respect for you turned into wavering thumps of his heart and dodging eyes. maybe you weren’t perfect after all, maybe azul just likes you.
the terrible urge to impress you grew stronger everyday.
he wanted to look as perfect as you did to him.
but how can he possibly ever look perfect,
when he is sick?
hovered over the toilet, azul clutched his chest as petals slid out of his mouth as if it were apart of him. well, it is apart of him, I guess. his love for you is one with him after all.
azul is sensitive, but he tries not to show it. not only is he good at catching the little things, he’s quick to anger or get hurt. the best he can do is hide them. so he hides the feeble emotion he calls love and comes back after winter break just as the same. he’s dutiful and runs his business like he normally would, and still hangs out with you time to time. he just feels more… empty? you’ll never know why he seems to be this way, no one really knows about the surgery.
jade leech
jade is often avoided by many people.
people find him creepy, odd, off-putting, unnerving… and more comments he hasn’t bothered to find out about.
those names don’t really bother him. in fact, he enjoys it. he loves watching people squirm in fear over something he says out of the blue. It’s exciting to watch a person try to decide if they should run away or not, unaware of jade’s capabilities.
he’s used to people avoiding him. for the sacrifice of entertainment, he isn’t all that popular. jade leech is used to it.
you were different, however.
your simply didn’t find him creepy. anything he said that was weird, you’d laugh it off and say something weird back too. jade’s height, creepy smile or the way he talks, it doesn’t seem to throw you off at all. you’d smile and wave at him when no one else dared to, you’d easily graze your skin against his and pay no mind, you’d approach him without second thoughts. It was like mutual trust, something jade has learned is difficult to find when you’re him.
so you meant everything. you were just as new and exciting, a pleasant surprise from the predicted fear everyone else has. you made him feel… seen for the first time in his life.
soon, everything you did was like a horror movie (weird analogy, I know. but it’s jade leech we’re talking about!) the intensity of when the killer would approach, or when the character is alone and vulnerable, his heart pumps like wildfire as he watches expectantly to see what the new surprise would be. his favourite feeling was when the victim would die or escape, the tightening in his chest releasing as he excitedly watches what would happen next. that was you. you were his favourite feeling.
he loves the way your eyebrows moved in expression when you talked, he loved when you sneezed and looked around expecting a “bless you,” he loved the odd ways you attempted to hold your mug comfortably and most of all, he loved you. he love you very, very much.
jade leech is used to all kinds of things. he’s used to people avoiding him, he’s used to his brother’s tendencies to groan and complain at everything, he’s used to azul’s creepy capitalist tactics.
what he’s not used to, however, are the bubbly, excited emotions he feels when he gets to experiment with his beloved mushrooms, the way you took over his thoughts like the plague and most of all, he wasn’t used to the flowers spilling out of his mouth.
this was odd, per say. jade knew of the hanahaki disease. he knew of all the downsides of it. but he never worried, because, how could he, jade fucking leech, ever love someone so pathetically?
he hoped that you’d love him back too. he oh-so deeply wished he was just as new and exciting to you as you were to him.
the blood meticulously dripped amongst his fingers, flower petals sticking to it alike. he laughed at himself. he’s always imagined that if he’d ever possibly get this disease, it’ll be flowers related to the water like lotuses or water lilies. he never thought he’d start coughing up such pathetic land-dweller flowers.
it was fine, though. jade would get used to it, eventually.
because after all, he’d rather die than stop loving you.
floyd leech
floyd is scary, he knows that. He’s quick to anger, moody, tall and intimidating. He’s doesn’t really care, though. He just does what he wants. He doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal.
he likes fun surprises, something new, exciting. he thinks you meet that of that.
you’re not as scared as others, you respond to his pranks and squeezes positively, you respect his mood swings and he even caught a few glimpses of you defending him. he thinks you’re so cute!
it’s not odd to talk about the leech twins without mentioning you. floyd follows you every and jade just goes wherever floyd goes. it’s like a little trio.
you don’t get scared like others when he gets upset, return his squeezes (hesitatingly…he hugs tight!) and find him rather silly than scary.
jade thinks you were almost made for floyd, considering how well you two get along. although jade has been with floyd the longest, he can only tolerate to a certain point for you, however, it seemed to go endless. you were so much more patient with floyd then with anyone else. although floyd made be subtle about it, he’s grateful.
floyd adored you. you were everything he loves, for he loves you.
loved you.
loved? (love)
floyd started to ignore you. you’d tilt your head in confusion— you were upset. why would your best friend suddenly act like you weren’t even there? he wouldn’t even get mad, he’d just turn the other way.
it was only so long ago when floyd was hunched over in his bed from a terrible stomach ache. jade was horribly surprised to see bloody petals staining floyd’s bedsheets.
floyd never bothered with these things. for the first time in a while, he read a book out of his own volition to figure out what it was, only to rip the pages apart when he read what hanahaki was.
childishly declaring that he loves you no more, floyd would stay away from you like the plague, whilst secretly filling his system with flowers that will kill him for ever loving someone so deeply.
floyd is gonna disappear from your life completely eventually. you’d wonder what caused your best friend to suddenly hate you, while his family mourns over the loss of a loved one, as floyd refused treatment, because he foolishly decided to love you.
kalim al-asim
kalim grew up very sheltered in a loving family. The only concept of love he has is of his parents, who hold hands tightly and gush over the cutest things. they often warn him of the danger of love, and that he must be careful about the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with.
kalim, although clumsy and stupid, always kept that in the back of his mind.
you were like a breath of fresh morning air. growing up knowing very little, you were the newest, most brightest experience there was. kalim was sure you were the one. he was completely sure, why else would his heart thump so fast?
he’d hug you and hold your hand, give you gifts you could never even imagine having and tell you how much he appreciates you.
kalim hasn’t gone around to mouthing the word “love” yet, but he knows that you know anyway.
so when he started coughing up petals, jamil was quick to inform the al-asim family. kalim was confused, he didn’t understand. this love wasn’t unrequited, there was no way!
it doesn’t matter, though. he’s gonna continue loving you, you and him are gonna be happy together someday, eventually. maybe not in this universe.
kalim woke up in a hospital bed, his heart heavy.
he loves you. but he forgot what that feels like. he loved you. somehow.
jamil viper
jamil is smart. he’s smart and knows his worth. this is why he hates being in second, he knows he deserves so much more.
why does he always to have do worse than kalim? why does he always have to be second place? jamil is smart enough to know his potential. he also knows how much he’s holding himself back for the sake of hierarchy. he hates it.
it’s not a surprise when jamil finds himself unconsciously doing slower than certain people to appear normal. his main purpose in life is to not stand out, hide in the shadows, survive. like predator hiding from prey because if found, it will be caught by the silly humans.
you’re completely different from him, though. you’re as normal as a person can be, yet you aim to reach for the stars and hold it close to your heart. jamil understands your desire to outshine people all to well. he’s been in that spot, is in that spot. he pities you.
so he sticks around. he’d casually follow you, hang out whenever he can, help you with assignments so you can be the best version of yourself. he’s voraciously living through you. if you achieve your goals, that’s enough for him. at least he was apart of something meaningful for once.
it catches him off guard, however, when you encourage him to reach for his goals as well. it’s like you’re holding his hand and pull him amongst the galaxies to gently place your hands onto the hot touch of a star.
he knows that’s near impossible to reach, from the moment he was born, his life was chosen for him. but he thinks he could reach the small goals.
jamil secretly pats himself on the back for grazing against your skin for a second longer than usual, treat you to a nice meal or help you ace a test. he hopes that at least one of the goals he could reach in this lifetime is to be with you.
jamil is smart enough to know that he’s not just sick. not when blood trails down his chin to his arms, as flowers spill from inside him.
he thought that maybe, just maybe, he could have something for himself for once. not hold himself back, grasp tightly to what he wants the most.
jamil is smart enough to know his own worth. he’s definitely not worth enough to you.
silver
silver likes the little things. he enjoys the way birds chirp in the early morning, or the way the dandelion petals flow against the wind as he watches you scrunch your nose and blow on it. and then both of you guys start sneezing. ah, summer pollen, a reminiscent part of nature.
he loves the way you hold your pencil, the way you like to tie your shoelaces, how you cut your sandwiches. these small, unnoticeable traits catch his eye quite often, and he’s developed a fondness for them.
he’s a man of little words. silver doesn’t talk much, so when he thinks of these things, he never says it out loud. maybe that’s why it took you so long to notice how he felt about you.
he was so calming, and so gentle, it tugged at your heart when he’d smile softly and tilt his head ever so slightly so the cute birds could carefully place a beautiful flower crown on his head. he’s so princely, you think. a perfect knight in shining armour, loved even by the nature.
often you’d tell him how lucky any girl would be to be loved by him. your comments made silver hopeful.
silver is a man of little words, he likes to spend his days watching rather than showing. when he does finally speak his true thoughts, he genuine, honest. his words roll off his tongue so easily and smoothly, perfect fit for such a princely man (as you call him)
so when silver does finally open his mouth to speak, talk, say of what he felt in that very moment, he throat closed up. maybe he was nervous, maybe he was lame, because to both of your guy’s horror, blood spilled.
he didn’t really know what was happening. only when he felt the urge to throw up in the infirmary did he realize what was going on.
he was familiar with hanahaki. his father always told him stories of how fae would love so strongly to humans who hated them, that those who were unlucky would be induced to vomiting flowers.
when silver thought he was fae, just like his sweet old father, silver swore to himself that he’ll never love a human. now that he knows that he is, in fact, human, silver starts to doubt himself. maybe is, in a way, a fae.
it’s alright, though. silver is man of few words. he likes to watch rather than show. he doesn’t mind what could happen to him, he won’t tell anyone. he’ll just watch you from afar, filling his heart with melancholy love until he reaches his end. which might be soon, for he loves you so strongly.
a.n: my phone is on 6% as I type this I will edit this tomorrow morning when I wake up. sorry for replying so late I had tests coming up and I had to study!!! </3 thank you so much for the kind comments and I’ll catch up to requests soon! feel free leave any requests :3
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spideyjimin · 2 months
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Perfect time | jjk
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⤷ part of the timing series
⏤ pairing: jungkook x female reader 
⏤ genre: parent au, exes to lovers, ceo au, angst, fluff, and smut 
⏤ rating: 18+
⏤ warnings: dilf!jungkook, tattooed!jungkook, swearing, mention of heartbreak, childbirth, mention of complications during childbirth, mention of abortion, mention of death, mention of toxic relationship, low self esteem, mention of the motherhood’s hardships, mention of sex, teasing, flirting, sexual tension, nipple play, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, jealousy, mention of breakups, dispute, making out, fingering, and creampie
⏤ words: 18,086
⏤ summary: right or wrong time? actually, was there a time at all for you and jungkook? following your heartbreaking conversation with him, you feel that you were loved but not wanted. however, would it be worse than feeling wanted but not loved? nevertheless, there’s a deep feeling inside you telling you that it’s far from being over with jungkook. will this mean that one day it will be the perfect time? 
 ⏤ author’s note: the final part is finally here! it's less than 20k as I thought it would be but it's still quite long for me 🥴 I truly hope you enjoy this last part of the timing series, it was honestly super fun to write it & it also helped me a lot! i hope you like this part, let me know what you think! thanks a lot for all the amazing support , it made this wild experience very funny! 💛
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As you’re looking at the screen with total disbelief, it makes you feel that the universe is throwing an unpleasant joke at your face. Your heart suddenly starts beating extremely fast in your chest. There’s absolutely no possible way that this moment is really happening. That this is real. 
Your world is totally collapsing under your feet. 
The past nine months have been quite hard, especially after the heartbreak Jungkook caused. Remembering the day he abandoned you sends shivers down your spine. You don’t like thinking about that moment because you felt completely alone with your bleeding heart in your hands. Currently, you don’t really know if you moved on from him but you’ve been seeing a guy, Yeonjun for the past two months. You’re not dating but you’re simply enjoying each other's company. Being around him makes you happy and that’s all that matters. 
Right now, you’re lying on a medical examination table in the emergency room. This morning you woke up with terrible back pain. A pain that had only been growing even though you took some painkillers. Throughout your life, you experienced quite a lot of back pain so at first, this didn’t really surprise you, especially since yesterday was a crazy day.  
Then, a stomach ache was added on top of the back pain which made everything very much unbearable. Yeonjun told you from the beginning to go to the doctor to check that out but you refused. When the stomach ache appeared, he took you to the hospital. There was no way he was going to let you suffer even though you were being very stubborn and you didn’t want to go. 
Well, now that you’re looking at that screen, you believe he did right. He’s staying in the waiting room while you’re being examined. But thinking of him currently breaks your heart because what you’re seeing on the screen will probably put an end to the blooming relationship between you. You don’t want to lose him, he’s been such a ray of sunshine in your life. Even Lux told you that you look happier than ever since he’s been part of your life.  
“I believe there is no need to tell you that we’re looking at a fully developed baby,” the obstetrician tells you. “Considering the size and the position of the baby, I would say that you’re in labor.” 
A tear runs down your face. Since the baby is fully developed, it means that they were conceived nine months ago. Jungkook is the father of this baby of yours. He’s the only man you slept with nine months ago. 
“Based on what I see right now, there are no concerning health problems but we would need to take several exams once they are born,” she adds. 
You’re in complete shock. How on earth is this even possible? How could you have not noticed this? Were there even signs that you ignored? How could this baby have grown hidden inside your body? And why has this happened? 
“I know this is a big shock,” the obstetrician says with a lot of sympathy. “But the only thing we can do right now is deliver this baby, check that everything is okay with them, and then you will think about what you’ll do.” 
She isn’t wrong but your brain has totally stopped working. You’re not able to think or say anything because this is just too much to process.    
“Would you let me check how many centimeters you are dilated?” 
You simply nod because like she said, the focus right now is to deliver this little human safely. She informs you to remove your pants and underwear, to place your foot in the foot supports, and to place your butt as close as possible at the end of the table. She places herself in between your legs to examine you properly. She definitely isn’t the person you were expecting to have between your legs…
As this moment completely overwhelms you, all that you want is to have your mama with you. You just wish to be in the comfort of your mama’s arms because no other arms will ever be able to comfort you, well except your father’s. And right now, you feel like a little baby that needs to be reassured by her parents.        
“You’re 7 centimeters dilated,” she informs you. “The baby is almost here. We would need to move you to a delivery room.” 
She keeps talking about all the information you need to know before the delivery. But your mind stopped listening after ‘the baby is almost here’. You’re simply disconnected from reality since this is too much to handle. All you think about is to have your mama. Nothing else. 
“Would you need someone to come?” she asks you. 
“I need to call my mama,” you reply. 
The obstetrician helps you to come down from the examination table. Quickly, you put back your underwear and trousers. As you do so, you notice that your belly has grown a tiny bit. In the midst of what she said while you were disconnected, you heard her saying that your belly will suddenly grow a lot until childbirth. This is scary. Extremely scary. 
Once dressed, you grab your phone to call your mom. The obstetrician indicates to you to follow her to move to the delivery room. 
“Mama,” you say when your mom picks up. 
“Hello, sweetie,” she answers. 
“Mama,” you repeat, “I’m going to have a baby very soon,” you immediately burst into tears. 
Now that you’ve said it out loud, it seems real. You’re really going to have a baby today, you’re about to become a mother. The mother of yours and Jungkook’s baby. But you’re absolutely not ready to endorse that role. However, beyond not being ready to take on that role, you also have nothing prepared in your apartment to welcome a baby. No bed, no clothes, no diapers, and all the other things a mother is supposed to have when having a child. 
But the true question right now is: do you want to keep the baby? or would you give them up for adoption? 
“Yn,” she starts saying, “where are you?” 
You tell her which hospital you are in and she immediately declares that she’ll be there in a couple of minutes. With surprise, the obstetrician hugs you to try to soothe you. Honestly, it’s also hard for her to see you in this ravaged state. 
“I’m so sorry to be the one announcing this devastating news, miss y/l/n,” she whispers while caressing your back. “I really want to say that everything will be alright but it’s a promise I can’t make. Childbirth is hard, there might be complications, the baby could have issues that I couldn’t see in the ultrasound, and after all that, you will need to decide if you want to keep the baby.” 
You hug her even more because it’s hard to hear all those things. This day is only getting worse and worse. Not only have you found out that you’re carrying a baby that you’ll have to deliver, but you’ll have to decide what to do if they live and have no health issues at birth. Give them up for adoption or keep them. 
“Your mother is coming, right?” she asks and you nod. “Then, you’ll have the biggest support,” she adds. “Have you also informed the father of the baby?” 
Right there, your body freezes even more. In the middle of all this chaos, you haven’t thought of informing Jungkook. Actually, you haven't even considered having Yeonjun informed since he’s waiting for you to come back. But you have to inform both of them, they can’t stay in the dark and even if you’re angry at Jungkook, you have to tell him. He deserves to have the choice to be present at your baby’s birth. 
So you pull away from the obstetrician to call your ex. She instantly understands that you’re about to call your baby’s father. She takes a step back to give you the space you need. As you’re waiting for Jungkook to pick up, you nervously bite your lower lip. You haven’t spoken in nine months, and now you’re about to tell him that you’re carrying his child who will be born still today. 
“Yn,” Jungkook says with surprise when he picks up. 
Jungkook wasn’t expecting at all to receive a call from you, especially after what he did. He hears you sniffle and honestly, it breaks his heart. He wonders if it has anything to do with the space he asked for or if it has anything to do with him at all. 
“Are you okay?” he asks with evident concern.
“I’m calling you because I’m about to give birth to our child. If you wish to be present, you can come,” you simply inform him. 
At your words, his body completely freezes. He can’t believe what he’s hearing and many questions cross his mind. But honestly, he doesn’t want to waste a second questioning you, it’s better to join you at the hospital and raise any questions there. It would be better. After that, he asks which hospital you are in and he leaves his company to get to you as soon as possible. 
Nurses appear in the room, asking you to wear a hospital blouse while the obstetrician calls for Yeonjun. Slowly but surely, your belly grows bigger. It’s still small but currently, you probably look like you’re 4-5 months pregnant. The blouse kind of hides it but it’s there, your pregnant belly is there. This is becoming very real. You’re about to give birth to a baby that you created with Jungkook. A little human will come to the surface of the earth because of you. 
However, the only reasonable thing to do is to give this baby up for adoption. Jungkook broke your heart, you haven’t spoken since then and you’re absolutely not ready for this. A baby isn’t a little thing. A baby is a human you’ll have to forever take care of. A baby you’ll be responsible for at least 18 years. This baby will forever link you with Jungkook and because of all those reasons, this baby will be happier with another family. If you had found out about this pregnancy at its premises, you would have aborted. There’s no doubt about it. Now, you can’t abort but you can offer them a much better life. 
As you’re walking in circles in the room to distract from the excruciating pain, Yeonjun enters the room with worry written all over his face. 
“Yn,” he says while coming in your direction, “what’s going on?” 
You take a very deep breath as you feel a contraction. “I’m about to give birth,” you tell him, “to Jungkook’s child.” 
With Yeonjun, you have spoken quite early on about your ex but you haven’t spoken about everything. He knows the most important things, just as you know the overall story of his relationship with his ex. His eyes wide open, absolutely surprised by your words. All this time that he has known you, there was literally a human growing inside you. That’s wild. 
“It’s a cryptic pregnancy,” you add. “The pain I’ve been feeling was due to the fact that I was in labor.” 
Yeonjun nods, understanding the situation. It all makes sense now. But he’s worried about you, about what you’re feeling right now. 
“How are you?” he asks with concern. 
“Not good,” you reply. “Physically this is horrible and emotionally, it’s devastating. My mind is all over the place but I don’t want this baby,” you tell him crying. 
Yeonjun holds you close and dearly in his arms. He can only imagine how you are feeling right now. This is a life-changing thing. After this, you’ll never be the same no matter what decision you take. 
“I don’t want this baby,” you keep repeating while sobbing in his arms. 
He doesn’t know what to say nor what to do. You’re in pain physically and emotionally and all he can do is support you through this. It’s not going to be easy from now on but he’ll hold your hand, he’ll be there for you because it is what you need. His heart is very much broken when he hears you crying and repeating that you don’t want this baby. It’s hard for him but he pushes away what he’s feeling to be there for you, to focus solely on you. 
His eyes scan the room to find a nurse. He needs guidance to help you in the best way possible. Plus, he knows that you deeply need it as well. The medical team needs to guide you through everything until the birth. A nurse enters the room at that precise moment. 
“Have you changed your clothes, miss y/l/n?” she asks while getting closer to you two. 
“Yes,” you answer, looking up at her, “but please call me yn.” 
She nods with a little smile. 
“The obstetrician informed me about the full situation. The good news is that the baby is very well-positioned and they are slowly descending. I will need to examine you so we can check if we see their head.” 
This time, you’re the one nodding. Yeonjun helps you to reach the hospital bed and to lay down. It’s quite difficult to move with this terrible pain caused by the contractions. The nurse checks everything and a smile appears on her face. 
“So we see the baby’s head, this is good. Now, it’s a matter of hours before the baby is here.” 
Tears roll even more down your face. In a matter of hours, your world would change forever because of this exact baby that you don’t want. 
“Yn, I know it’s very hard for you right now but I need you to only focus on giving birth,” she says. “I will guide you through every step and I won’t be leaving you alone. In no time, this pain will be gone.” 
Her words are adorable and it touches you deeply but it doesn’t change anything. 
“Now, I will need to monitor your contraction and baby’s heartbeat. It won’t hurt, I’ll only place a monitor on your belly. Is it okay?” 
Again you nod. While the monitor is placed on your belly, the door opens, revealing another nurse with your mom. She runs to you. The first thing she does is place a kiss on your forehead. 
“Oh my god,” she whispers. “It’s really happening.” 
For everyone in this room, it feels unreal. This pregnancy has had the effect of a bomb because it is beyond unexpected. Nobody saw anything and your mother feels some guilt as she sees you with tears in your eyes and so much pain painted all over your face. She should have noticed it. 
But it’s nobody’s fault. Nobody could have seen it. 
“I don’t want this baby, mama,” you say with tears running down your face. 
“I know, sweetheart,” she caresses your face. “But don’t think about it now, focus on giving birth, and then, you’ll decide what to do with the baby,” she says before pressing another kiss on your forehead. 
“But I don’t want…” 
Before you can finish your sentence, the door opens to reveal Jungkook. His eyes land on the only person he has ever deeply loved. You. He instantly notices that you’re suffering ⏤ and not just a bit ⏤ but his heart breaks when he sees you crying. This only sight is too much for him but he’s here. Never would he have missed the birth of his child. Your child. This is something he never thought possible. Neither did you.   
The atmosphere is quite heavy in the room, all of you feel it. All eyes are on Jungkook, he offers a little smile before walking in your direction. Yeonjun moves to give him the space to be near you, and it’s just at that moment that Jungkook notices him. However, he doesn’t really start questioning who this man is and what he is doing here. All he cares about right now is to understand this situation. 
As you see Jungkook standing next to you, it makes this chaotic situation even more real, which makes it even more overwhelming. You can’t have a baby with him, it’s not possible. Things between you have never worked out and they are actually complicated.  
“Hey, yn,” he finally says. “What is going on?” 
“I didn’t know,” you tell him, still crying. “I promise you that I didn’t.” 
The second he entered the room, Jungkook instantly understood that you weren’t aware of this pregnancy. The suffering was beyond the one of childbirth, there was an evident emotional distress written all over your face and it was combined with the pain of childbirth. He assisted at Arya’s birth so he saw how painful it is to give birth to a little human. So, naturally, he didn’t need you to say anything to understand the full picture.  
“It’s okay, yn,” he gently says, “I knew it.” 
You nod. Every person in this room is shattered to see you like this. Your mother and Jungkook would even say that this comes close to how you were when your sister passed away. You look completely overwhelmed by the situation, and the only other time it happened was with your sister’s death. 
“How are you feeling?” 
Even though this is causing a lot of pain, you can see that Jungkook is genuinely and deeply concerned about you. 
“Not good,” you admit honestly, “and I don’t want this baby.” 
“It’s understandable, yn,” he replies. “This is a massive surprise, and giving birth is hard too but you have the support of every person here, we won’t let you down in this particularly difficult moment.” 
To be honest, you weren’t expecting those words to come from Jungkook’s mouth. From your mother or from Yeonjun, yes but never from Jungkook. However, it warms your heart. Having them three supporting you through this difficult moment helps tremendously. It doesn’t erase the physical and emotional pain but it eases it. 
The following hours have been the most painful ones that you ever experienced. Time seemed to have completely stopped while the intensity of the contractions smashed you completely. But slowly, you could sense the baby descending. It was extremely weird but it was also a very unique experience. Even if you were in pain, you were also in awe of everything that your body was doing to give birth to your child. 
You walked a lot in the hospital with Jungkook and your mother to help out with the pain but you were stopping every time you were having a contraction. Yeonjun was present but in the background because this moment was yours and Jungkook’s. It wasn’t his even though he really wished to be part of it. This wasn’t his child that you were delivering. It was Jungkook’s. 
Once you reached the 10 centimeters of dilation, you laid down on the hospital bed to give birth to your baby. It was horrible to push, you were feeling like everything inside you was getting ripped. Feeling the baby being pushed down was awful. Jungkook was holding your left hand, encouraging you the way he could. On your right side, it was your mother that was holding your hand. Yeonjun wasn’t in the room, you were simply allowed to have 2 people with you. It broke your heart that he had to leave but honestly, he preferred that way. What truly mattered to him was to be present for all the other moments. Plus, he’ll be present for you once the baby is born. He’ll support you when you have to make a decision concerning your baby.  
After what felt like an eternity, the room was filled with the loud cries of your baby. The baby was instantly put against your chest, your hands automatically wrapped him to make sure that they were really here. The feeling of your child’s skin against yours eased your mind in a way that you can’t express. However, what hit you the most was the love you felt for that tiny human. How could that even be possible? Hours ago you didn’t even want this child to even exist but right after being born, you felt love for them.  
This love you felt isn’t that love described by every mother. It wasn’t like loving your mom for example but there was a certain love, one that you weren’t expecting to feel since you didn’t want this baby in the first place. 
The baby’s cries calmed down when they were placed against you. Your hands naturally caressed them in an attempt to calm them down. The moment was reassuring for you both and definitely very much needed. It was your first interaction together. The first moment you shared with the little human you created. 
“This is a very loud little boy,” the obstetrician said while revealing the gender of your baby. Her eyes looked up at Jungkook. “Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?” 
Your ex nodded before moving closer to her. She showed him where to cut and he did it with immense pride. It was the second umbilical cord that he cut but each time, he felt nothing more than pride. The pride of becoming a father.  
“This strong boy was born on December 15th at 22:01,” the obstetrician said while looking at the clock in the room. 
The second the time of birth was announced you handed the baby to Jungkook. Despite everything, he was the father after all and he deserved a first moment with his son. A big smile appeared on his face when he saw his son for the first time. Just like you, he felt an unexplainable love for this tiny baby. Honestly, while you were in labor, he didn’t stop to think if he wanted to keep this child or give them up for adoption. He was only focused on helping you out. 
Inexplicably, as you were watching them, you felt something inside your heart. Again, it was something you can’t quite describe but it was definitely some sort of love. If you were honest with yourself, you’d know that you were still in love with Jungkook, and seeing him with your child made your heart burst even more with love. 
Your eyes were glued to that little tiny human that you literally pushed out from your body. This morning, you were still simply you. And just like that, at night, you became a mother. 
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Jungkook spent the night with you at the hospital. He informed Eunjin that he would need her to take care of Arya for at least a week. He didn’t explain the reason behind his request but he told her that he would explain later. Right now, what matters the most is being next to you and figuring this all out. Because now, you’ll have to decide the future of the boy you conceived. 
Your son underwent multiple tests in the first hours of his tiny existence to confirm that he didn’t have any serious medical condition, which was the case. The little baby is in solid health and he amazes you even more, he dearly held on to life. No matter what decision you make, you will forever admire this strong little boy. 
For the past hour, you’ve been looking at him sleeping in his little crib. The nurses swaddled him in a blanket and put a little cap on him. You can’t help but find him extremely adorable but as you stare at him you wonder if keeping him is the best thing to do. Merely hours before he was born, you didn’t want him but the love you felt for him the minute he was born has changed everything. You’re not sure anymore about what has to be done. 
“He’s so calm,” Jungkook’s voice echoes in the room. 
Your eyes look up at him. He’s sitting on a chair, on the other side of the crib and he’s also been staring at your son for the past hour. Both of you are completely lost, none of you knows what to do. For sure, you both have always wanted to have children but never under those circumstances. Well, Jungkook feels extremely guilty to have another child with someone he’s not in a relationship with and he can only blame himself for it. But this time, it’s completely different. This was a surprising birth. 
“He is,” you reply. “It seems like he doesn’t want to bother anyone,” you add. 
Seeing this little baby brings Jungkook back to the day Arya was born. She was even tinier than him, they were also very different but the love he felt for them the second he saw them for the first time is exactly the same. They are both his children, the flesh of his flesh. Looking at his tiny son makes him want to keep him. He wants to protect this little human. He wants to raise him. He wants to see him grow. He wants to see what kind of person he will become. He simply wants to give him love.  
But the truth is that it ain’t that simple. Neither of you expected this baby to arrive and he knows very well that he broke your heart. Things are definitely not easy between you. Adding a child in the mix won’t make this any easier so realistically speaking giving him up for adoption is the best thing you could do for this child. He’ll be with parents who will deeply love him, with parents who will be happily together. He’ll grow up in a much better environment. This child deserves the best. 
“This whole situation breaks my heart for him,” you say while your gaze moves between your son and your ex. “He’s been hiding for 9 months, surviving while I wasn’t taking any precaution. I have so much admiration for him but he deserves better,” your eyes now stop on Jungkook. “I didn’t even want him before he was born, I didn’t even notice him. He was literally growing inside me and I didn’t see him. What kind of human am I?” 
You start crying intensely. Jungkook stands up, running in your direction before holding you tightly in his arms. You blame yourself a lot for this whole situation. If you had noticed your pregnancy earlier, you wouldn’t be in this position right now. Feeling his strong arms around you brings you some kind of comfort. It also makes you feel like you’re not alone.
“Hey,” Jungkook says while rubbing your back, “don’t be hard on yourself like that. It is definitely not your fault, this is something you couldn’t have noticed. And look at him, he’s very healthy, he’s perfectly fine so even if you didn’t feel him, you did everything great otherwise he wouldn’t be here and healthy.” 
Your eyes are completely shut while you sob in Jungkook’s arms. Honestly, having him by your side in this crazy situation is very helpful and very much needed. You desire nothing more than to be angry at him for absolutely everything but this is a position you both put yourself in. You need him to navigate this together and in the best way possible. This is a human’s life we’re talking about. It’s not a little thing you can get over. 
“This is definitely a tricky position we’re both in because we have to decide what’s best for him in such a short amount of time but I truly believe that he’s here for a reason. No matter what decision we take, I’m sure he’s going to do just fine because he’s your son. You’re a very strong person and look how strong he already is. I’m absolutely proud of the little man he already is,” Jungkook confesses. “Being able to call him my son swells my heart with pride.” 
Fatherhood is something Jungkook knows very well. Being proud of your child is something you feel the second they’re born. But in this case, he feels even more pride for him because he survived 9 months while hiding inside you. He’s very much aware that the decision you’ll take will be the best for him but he’ll forever feel tremendous pride for this little man. 
“You’re not at fault nor should you feel guilty for all of this. It’s nobody’s fault here. Things are pretty rocky right now but we will go through everything together. I won’t ever leave you alone.” 
Jungkook means every word that leaves his mouth. He’s not proud of the way he handled things when you came back to his life but this is a situation that he doesn’t want to run away from. For sure, he can’t leave you alone, especially right now. He’s aware that you need him more than ever, and he also needs you. And from now on and whatever happens, he’ll forever be by your side. There’s no way he can abandon you after this.   
“However, now, we should focus on what future we want to offer him,” he whispers. 
The way you’re holding on to his arms reminds him of the time your sister passed away. That’s the only other time that you held him like this. It feels like your life really depends on it and that if you let go, you’ll die. And it devastates him. Because those two events are completely opposites. The last time was because of the ending of a life, death and this time is because of the beginning of a life, birth.     
“I don’t know, Kook,” you manage to say in between sobs. 
“Then, let’s think together,” he says while gently pushing you. 
As much as he wants to be the strong one, he can��t when he sees your ravaged face. This is beyond heartbreaking. His hands place your hair behind your ears while you clean your face. You thank him for helping you out, and he offers you a little smile. Both of you quickly glance at the little boy peacefully sleeping in the crib.  
“We need to think beyond what we are feeling right now, okay?” he asks and you nod. “So, first off, what would happen to him if we gave him up for adoption?” 
You take a moment to think. It’s a bit complicated to really think with all the overwhelming negative emotions you’re feeling right now but you try as hard as possible to push them aside. You really want to focus on your son’s future, he truly deserves it. 
“Well, a social worker would come to take him and probably ask us if we are 100% sure we want to put him up for adoption. Afterwards, I’d be discharged and we would both go back home. We would resume back to our lives pretending that nothing ever happened,” you say, Jungkook nods agreeing with your reasoning. “However, we would realize that it’s impossible to pretend that nothing ever happened. Right there, we would most probably regret our decision and imagine how things could have turned out if we kept him. Maybe, we would reach out to each other to discuss it. We would cry and we would probably try to find him to see what he has become.” 
Just the thought of having regrets hurts a lot for the two of you. At that exact moment, the right decision becomes quite clear but it is still best to go through both scenarios. 
“Now, from his point of view,” you say. “Most probably he’d have a rather good life unless he remains forever in a foster home. There are chances that he’d grow up feeling unloved, he’d wonder why we gave him up for adoption. If he ended up in a family that would deeply love him, he’d be loved but there would forever be this feeling of being not wanted. That feeling would also come from the fact that I had a cryptic pregnancy and that he was hiding all along,” you finalize. 
This is a heartbreaking reality but you’ve heard in many documentaries that most adopted kids feel that way. It’s hard for them to feel wanted and loved. Your son doesn’t deserve to grow with that feeling simply because he wasn’t expected in your life. It’s a shock right now but it won’t be the case forever. 
“I couldn’t agree more with you,” Jungkook replies. “And now for the other scenario?” 
His big doe eyes stare at you deeply. You give yourself a couple of seconds before replying although you pretty much know the answer. 
“First off, we would have to find a name because he couldn’t go by baby forever,” a little smile appears on your face as you look at your little baby. Jungkook notices the way you smile and it can’t help but warm his heart. “We would have to find an arrangement and figure out how we would want to raise him. It probably would never be easy but I guess we could find a common ground for him. There’s absolutely no doubt that we’d love him but we would need some time to overcome the shock we both feel right now. I’m very much uncertain about what the future holds if we keep him but I know that no matter what we’ll love him with all our hearts because we are his parents.” 
Saying out loud that you are his parents is another reality check, and those are the final words to conclude your decision. It’s quite obvious what you’ll do. You’re keeping him. 
“On my side, the decision is quite taken,” you say, looking up at Jungkook. 
His deep stare sends shivers down your spine. Honestly, it would be a lie to say that you don’t feel anything anymore for this man but it’s best to brush it off. 
“I’ll keep him because, in the long run, it is a decision that I would never regret,” you explain. “I’m very much aware that it’s not going to be easy for a lot of reasons but I already love him so much and I will forever love him. I can’t give him up for adoption because I will eventually regret it and I will break him by doing so. He deserves the best, I’m convinced I can give him that or at least I’ll try every day to do it,” you say. “Because I’m his mom.” 
Jungkook smiles when you say that you’re the mother of his child. He doesn’t doubt at all that you’ll be a great mom, from his perspective, you already are. 
“But the final decision will also depend on you,” you add. 
“My decision was basically taken the second I laid my eyes on him,” he tells you. “But I had some doubts due to the shock. However, now that we’ve thought of both scenarios, all that I have to say is that I would never be able to live without him. He’s my son. I couldn’t live with myself if I gave him up for adoption.” 
You’re thankful Jungkook was the reasonable one that made you really think about the future. A decision can’t be taken on a temporary feeling because it can cause a lot of damage. For sure, due to the surprise, giving him up for adoption seems like the right option but in the long run, it isn’t for any of you. Three lives would forever be broken. 
“Thank you,” you say as you lay on your head on his shoulder. 
Jungkook would be lying if he said that he didn’t love feeling your head on his shoulder. He would say right here that he regrets what he did to you nine months ago but he’s also very much aware that he doesn’t deserve you, especially not after what he did to you. It also won’t be correct of him to discuss that when you’re going through a tough time. Right now, all he can do is support you and be a good father to your child.
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For the entire day, there’s been only you, Jungkook, and your little boy. You both agreed to be alone the entire day to focus on the right decision to take and to also find a name for your baby boy. But it has been a struggle. None of you seem to agree on a name. 
“Did it take you and Eunji so long to find Arya’s name?” you ask. 
Even though you know where the name comes from, Eunji also chose it. Your ex didn’t name his daughter all by himself, there’s a mother too. At the end of the day, she was the one who carried Arya for nine months. 
“Well, it for sure took us more than 5 months,” he replies. “When we found out that it was a girl, we started a list with all the names we loved. However, we didn’t like the names the other liked. For 2 months, we kept adding names to the list to see if we could find one. Arya wasn’t on my list because it had a deep meaning for me, it was the name we agreed to give to our daughter,” his eyes stare deeply at you. 
You still remember the day you were talking about all the cute names you’d give to your children. It’s a moment that always warms your heart because back then, everything seemed so easy. Your sister was still alive, you hadn’t kissed your ex-crush, everything was going well with Jungkook, and you were still head over heels in love with him. Well, honestly, it is still the case today even if he broke your heart. 
The man standing in front of you has been your greatest love, the first man you really and deeply loved. A first real love always remains in your heart although they hurt you. They will forever stay in your heart. Hopefully, with time, the strong feelings you have for Jungkook will diminish, or at least, you hope that you will be able to keep moving with your life without those sentiments being an obstacle to your romantic life. 
“Proposing that name would be like a betrayal towards you. I couldn’t do that,” he whispers. “Eunji was the one proposing it and at first, I pretended I didn’t like it. She really loved it but it was kind of removed from our list, which was still empty when she was 7 months pregnant,” a little smile appears on his face. “Then, at that point, you realize your daughter will be here very soon and you have to find a name. We needed to find compromises, we needed to find names that we at least liked a little bit. Again, Arya was not on our list,” his eyes never leave your face. 
Honestly, as you glare at him, you can see in his eyes all the affection he has for you but you brush it off. However, it is actually the way he’s looking at you. Jungkook holds a lot of affection for you. He’ll always cherish you even though he behaved like a child. His heart still burns for you but he can’t come back in your life. Or at least not right now. For sure, if he does so, he’s very much aware that he’ll break your heart once more and you absolutely don’t deserve it. He’s even convinced that he doesn’t deserve you. 
Those past nine months, he got the time to sit down and contemplate his actions. Unquestionably, he acted like a child. He was selfish, he only took from you what interested him, and then threw you away. But honestly, he never wondered what it would be like to have you back in his life. For the past ten years, he desperately wanted you back but he didn’t consider past that, probably because deep down, he was convinced that you would never come back. However, you came back and everything simply became overwhelming. 
“Eunji kept bringing back Arya, and I don’t know, I simply gave up at some point because I always adored that name,” he explains. “I only explained after the birth of Arya why I didn’t want that name for our daughter, but honestly, for a long moment, I felt I betrayed you. I know it’s a deep emotion but back then, I hadn’t moved on.” 
It is still the case today. The only difference now is that you’re actually around him and things are way more complicated than back then because he’s the one that messed everything up. Today, it’s his own fault if he can’t move on.  
For a brief moment, you simply stare at each other like there’s nobody else but you in the room. It brings you both back to the time when you were lovers, when everything was absolutely easy. For a moment, you forget all the terrible things that have happened between you. You forget how toxic your relationship has been. It’s easy to forget when strong feelings are involved. 
“It’s nice to finally know the background of Arya’s name,” you break this special moment, your eyes looking down at the little baby sleeping. “Now, we have to find one for our little mister.”   
Well, this time around, you don’t have 5 months to find a name for your son. Today, he needs to have a name because he needs to be registered. The nurses have agreed to extend the deadline a bit but only because Jungkook is quite known and they were charmed by him. 
“You know, I want his name to be related to my sister in some kind of way because I think she has sent him to us,” you say, convinced that your little man is a little gift from her. A gift she’s giving to you and Jungkook. She always adored him, you used to call yourself the ‘Fantastic Four’. You used to spend a lot of time with her and her boyfriend, it was always a good time. 
“Yes, I’m also convinced she gave us this little man, and it would only make sense to name him in a way related to her,” he replies. 
Jungkook was terribly affected by her death. He loved your sister, she was one of his closest friends, and losing her was devastating. Certainly not in the same way as you because she was your everything. As you lost her, you lost a big part of yourself. 
“She’s my angel, the star that shines the brightest in the sky,” you add. 
“Maybe we could try finding a name whose meaning is star?” Jungkook suggests. 
You nod, totally agreeing with him. That’s definitely a fantastic idea. Jungkook googles ‘boy name meaning star’, and you both look at the suggestions. There’s nothing really interesting and matching your interests. The only thing you agreed on was to give him a short name like Arya. 
The boy name you had chosen when you were younger was Axel but when you looked at your son, it didn’t feel like it was his name. He doesn’t have a face of being called Axel but in case you don’t manage to find a name for him, you’ll go with Axel. It would have made sense to name him like that because it was your decision but it doesn’t seem right. 
However, the name Leo appears in Google's suggestions. The name catches your attention. Leo makes reference to a constellation in the sky and it also means lion. This is the perfect name for your child. A constellation is a group of stars so it definitely makes reference to your sister. Lion is a very strong animal, and your little baby is already very strong. This name is absolutely perfect for your son. 
You and Jungkook look at each other with a bright smile on your faces. There’s no need to say anything, you both fell in love with this name. Then you look down at your calm little boy. 
Jeon Leo, it’s perfect. 
You bend down as much as you can, your body is completely sore from giving birth. It hurts everywhere. You caress the soft face of your son, he giggles a bit but not much. Now, this is your reality. You’re the mother of Leo, the son you share with Jungkook. Things are pretty rocky right now, and for sure, they are going to be for a little while. Your emotions are all over the place, and you’re convinced they will be for a time since now, you’re not going to sleep much. 
But right now, all you want to focus on is your son. 
The next day, both you and Jungkook agreed on only having your parents visit you. If each of you starts inviting people, at the end of the day, a lot of people will come, and it will be too much for you and Leo. It was absolutely adorable to see them interact with the baby. For your parents, it is their first grandchild but it isn’t the case for his parents. However, it doesn’t change the fact that they were mesmerized by him. 
Your parents shed a little tear when you explained the meaning of his name. When your parents were in the room, it felt like your sister was also present. Honestly, it was a magical moment. A moment you’ll forever cherish in your heart, especially when they hold him in their arms. Your father even cried when he had Leo in his arms. At that precise moment, it didn’t matter that they never really liked Jungkook, it didn’t matter that he hurt you. Nothing really mattered, except sharing a family moment. 
Having Jungkook’s parents was also very special. You hadn’t seen them in a while so it was good to see them. They were extremely happy to have another grandchild, they also liked the name. they said it was original just like Arya. Honestly, they were as surprised as your parents that you had a child together. None of them knew that you had seen each other but they didn’t raise out loud any question since this birth was unexpected.  
When you’re alone at night in the room, you stare at Jungkook rocking Leo in his arms. Minutes ago you were breastfeeding him, it was a battle but slowly you were getting there, but it was a special and bonding moment between you. Now, Jungkook is trying to find a bonding moment with his son. Both of you are trying to create a connection with your son and learn how to love him. 
Nevertheless, as you’re looking at them, it hits you in the face that Jungkook is now part of your family.
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For the first time in four months, you’re out without Leo. Your mother and Lux took you out of the house so you could breathe a little bit. Everything has been a complete mess since Leo's birth, and honestly, you haven’t been feeling very great. From your perspective, you’re a terrible mother because it feels like you don’t love him at all. Yes, you felt some kind of love when he was born but since then, it feels like nothing has changed. For sure, the sleepless nights haven’t been helpful. 
Most of the time, you feel completely lost. You don’t know exactly what you need to do, but the only thing that calms him down is when you hold him or when you’re breastfeeding him. But outside that, you don’t really know what to do. Everything is simply overwhelming. Being a mother is overwhelming. 
“How are you feeling?” Lux rises after the waiter brings the coffees. 
Your mother has come quite often to help you with Leo. She’s been your savior. Well, Jungkook has also been your savior. The fact that he already has a daughter is actually useful. He’s been by your side in every way. He’s very supportive and he always finds the words to reassure you when you’re crying in the middle of the night because you can’t put Leo to sleep. Frankly, without him, you don’t know how you could have survived those past four months. 
“Extremely tired,” you answer. “Physically and mentally.” 
They both know how hard it has been for you, and they can’t imagine how it must feel to become a mother overnight. On top of that, the father is your ex. It mustn’t be pleasant to constantly be around your ex, and let alone one that has broken your heart not long ago. 
“But having Yeonjun helps me to kind of relax in the middle of this chaos,” you add with a little smile growing on your face. 
Yeonjun has been your rock since the birth of Leo, he has helped you a lot. For sure, Jungkook has been your savior but Yeonjun is your rock. Without them and your mother, you would have completely fallen apart. He often comes to visit and he calls you everyday. He always makes sure that you eat every day and he’s also present to remind you when you need to take a shower. 
However, what surprises you is how both he and Jungkook have managed to coexist together very peacefully. You’ve been living at Jungkook’s place since your son’s birth and the reason behind it is to make things easier. You are together through every step, you change diapers, you feed him, you reassure him when he cries, and you take turns when he wakes you up at night. You’ve been in this together and that’s your strength. 
Yeonjun has been coming to your ex’s place. Jungkook has welcomed him with open arms and Yeonjun has felt comfortable being at his place. Your ex was the one encouraging you to give him a chance, to see where things could go but for now, it’s best to not start a relationship. Everything is pure chaos and you’re scared to hurt him unwillingly, simply because you’re going through a lot right now.
Jungkook has seen the way he helped you since the moment you were crying in the hospital bedroom and the way he has been there for you when he got all the reasons to leave you. He knows Yeonjun is the right one for you. 
“That’s sweet that he’s been around,” your mother says. “I noticed how it has been helping you to stay sane.” 
That is true. He’s been respecting your space which is more than appreciated while you try to figure out how to balance everything. As soon as things calm down a bit, you’ll go back to your apartment. You can’t stay forever at your ex’s place, especially since it’s hard to always be around him. The heartbreak is still very much here, and sometimes you feel like it’s amplified by the lack of sleep. But right now it seems like the easiest solution to navigate those first months.
“Yep,” you answer. “But it’s also not always easy to constantly be around Jungkook,” you add. “I know that we agreed that it was the best solution to live together for the first months of Leo’s life but it doesn’t change the fact that he hurt me.” 
Maybe overtime, it won’t hurt anymore, at least that’s what you think. It’s already been more than a year and it hurts less than it did months ago. Certainly, having Yeonjun now helps a lot to ease the pain. He’s been treating you like a real princess and you feel extremely loved by him. You actually can’t wait to see how things will evolve with him, especially once you go back to your apartment. 
“It doesn’t hurt as it did months ago but sometimes, all this chaos amplifies the pain. In those moments, I try to avoid him as much as I can,” you explain. 
Well, sometimes, it’s complicated to avoid him, and most of the time, you completely explode. You throw all your anger at his face before totally bursting into tears, and since there’s nobody else in those moments, he’s the only one holding you in his arms to console you. Jungkook can imagine how it can be difficult for you but all he can do is be present for you when you need it. 
“Honestly, I don’t know how you do,” Lux tells you. “If I were in your shoes, I would have already punched him in the face. I already wanted to do it with Henry when our son was born so I can’t imagine how it must be in your situation.” 
Nobody around you can understand it. They can try but that’s it. Jungkook is the only one who can understand you. He also became a father overnight, he also had to figure out how to love his son, and he also had to figure out how to balance this new life. The only thing he can’t understand is how to live with an ex that broke your heart. 
“It’s for Leo’s best interest,” you say. “And for mine as well,” you admit out loud. “It would be too hard if half of the time I was alone in my apartment.” 
The two options you considered were living together for a couple of months or sharing custody right from the start. However, you knew that sharing custody would be way too difficult for you. You won’t regret the decision you made because even with Jungkook by your side, it’s still not easy. Your heart breaks whenever you hear Leo cry. 
“But as soon as we find a balance, I’ll move back to my apartment. We agreed we’d stay at his place for at least the first 6 months of Leo’s life and that we’d assess the situation every month. But it’s quite obvious that it’s not the moment yet.” 
They both nod. If right now this dynamic is what helps you, then you should keep doing it for as long as needed. Being with them out of the house feels good, it simply feels good to see other faces. You simply enjoy this moment with them. For the next 2 hours, you stay with them and talk about everything and anything. 
Afterwards, you go back to Jungkook’s place. Since Arya is with her mother today, he was all alone with Leo. When you arrive, he’s half asleep with his son sleeping on his chest. There’s white noise playing in the background. It’s probably one of the YouTube videos he found to put Leo asleep. Your eyes quickly check out his torso which is on full display. He’s still extremely hot, and sometimes, you catch yourself wanting to have sex with him. You know it’s all due to your hormones being all over the place. But to be honest, being a father makes him look extra sexy. 
“Hi, yn,” he whispers. 
You get close to take a look at your son, he’s peacefully sleeping on his father’s chest which makes him look extremely adorable. Leo has been growing a lot for the past four months and getting chubbier day after day but it’s normal. The nurse told you that he has a normal weight and height for a four-month-old. Your son is absolutely so cute, he looks like a perfect mix between you and Jungkook. 
“Hard to put him to sleep?” you ask with a little smile. 
“Yep,” he replies. “Even doing the skin-to-skin thing wasn’t helping, but thankfully, white noises always work,” he says while trying not to speak too loudly. 
“Maybe it’s best to try to put him in his crib?” you ask. 
“Maybe not now,” he answers. 
Jungkook feels a certain guilt by contradicting you, especially since he notices that you didn’t like his answer. But before he can even add something, you nod and leave the room to go to the bathroom to take a quick shower. However, before doing so, you sit down on the floor to pump your milk. Your breasts are heavy and full of milk. If you don’t empty them, even a tiny bit, they’ll explode. At least that’s what it feels like. You place the pumps on each of your breasts and close your eyes. 
Seeing Jungkook’s body always wakes a fire inside you, and you need to calm it down. You always feel some culpability, especially since you’re falling in love with Yeonjun. There’s no doubt that you’re going to end up with him but Jungkook is always in a corner of your mind. He’s always there, and you’re afraid to hurt Yeonjun. 
There’s a knock on the door, followed by Jungkook calling your name. You instantly open your eyes before readjusting yourself on the bathroom floor. 
“Yes,” you answer. 
“I’m sorry for contradicting you,” he mumbles. 
“It’s okay Jungkook, you don’t have to be sorry every time we contradict each other,” you add. 
Today, his disagreement had a bittersweet taste. You don’t exactly know why but it hurt you a bit when he didn’t agree with you. It’s silly but it doesn’t change the way you feel. 
“I saw your face, yn,” he adds. “And I know that face very well, you didn’t like my answer.” 
You close your eyes for a brief moment, taking a deep breath. You’re trying to calm yourself down. 
“Leave me alone,” you say while opening your eyes again. 
Now, Jungkook is the one taking a deep breath.It’s not always easy for you both to raise the little man, and right now is one of those moments. He’s scared to hurt you again in those moments, and you clearly don’t deserve it. You’re discovering maternity under those exceptional circumstances and hurting you even more will only make things worse. 
“Leo is now sleeping in his little crib,” he tells you. “You were right, he’s better there.” 
Lately, your ex has been trying to be gentle with you. No matter how you’re feeling, he’ll let you take it out on him. The situation you’re both in is tricky but he wants you to know that he’s there for you. That you’re not alone. 
“Okay, just let me take a shower,” you reply. 
“Okay but if you need anything, let me know.” 
Jungkook leaves you alone, and you enjoy that moment to calm down. For sure, you need it because you don’t want to explode for something as little as this. Afterwards, you leave the bathroom with your pump, and the little bottles with your milk. The first thing you do is go to the kitchen to put the milk in a small bag and indicate the day and the hour of the milk withdrawal. You place it in the freezer and then, you quickly go to your room. 
Leo is sleeping in his crib, he seems so serene. Your ex placed a little blanket on him, and you caressed the right chubby cheek of your son. You’re proud of yourself to have survived so far and to have kept him alive this far. He’s so big now compared to when he was born, which is normal but it always impresses you how much he has grown in such a short amount of time.
After checking on your son, you join his father in the living room. You sit next to him on the couch, he’s wearing a shirt now and you’re thankful for that. 
“I’m also sorry for my reaction,” you tell him. “Leo was finally sleeping on you after you struggled so it was normal you didn’t want to move.” 
Since Leo’s birth, you and Jungkook have been communicating a lot. It’s a good thing because it has been helping you tremendously to navigate this all. 
“Don’t worry,” he answers, “I guess we’re both to blame here.” 
“And please try to wear shirts when I’m around,” you add. 
A smile appears on his face. He noticed the way you were hungrily looking at him, he’s also been doing it from time to time. He still finds you extremely attractive, and seeing you with your son makes you even more attractive. He wishes that things were different, he wishes to have never broken your heart because he’s convinced things would have been easier. 
“Well, the skin-to-skin contact is important,” he replies. You roll your eyes, he’s such a tease. “But don’t worry, I’ll try to wear a shirt next time,” he winks at you. 
There’s no doubt something is happening between you. The little spark is coming back and you’re simply letting it consume you both. None of you is trying to push the other off. It almost feels like nothing has ever happened. 
“But if I do so, you’ll have to cover your chest every time you breastfeed,” he adds. 
Right there and then, you understand what is going on and maybe because of the hormones being all over the place, you don’t feel like stopping him. He’s making you feel desired, and damn, right now, you desire him more than ever.  
“And if I don’t want to?” you teasingly ask. 
A smirk appears on his face. He gets closer to you, your eyes closing when you sense his warm breath against your skin. It instantly sends shivers down your spine. 
“Then, I might do unholy things,” he whispers in your ear before biting your earlobe. “Unholy things that our son can’t see,” he adds. 
His lips press a gentle kiss on your neck, right under your ear. Your arms wrap him, bringing his body closer to yours. His lips leave a trail of kisses from your neck to the corner of your lips. Your heartbeat increases while you breathe faster. His eyes meet yours. They are filled with lust, something you haven’t seen in a long time. Honestly, that simple gaze gets you wetter. 
Now, you desperately crave him.  
His lusty eyes understand it and in a blink of an eye, he presses his hungry lips against yours. Even though you’re both fully driven by desire, this kiss is soft and tender. It’s not bestial at all like it could have been. In fact, you’re actually convinced that if you rush it, it will destroy the magic behind this exact moment. His strong arms wrap tighter around you almost as if he’s scared to let you go. 
His lips are so soft on yours, the tenderness of the kiss making your heart melt completely. You honestly missed being kissed by him because nobody compares to him. Your heart is pounding extremely hard in your chest while the butterflies in your lower stomach are making you feel completely alive. Your hands cup his face while you kiss him passionately.  
If someone told you a year ago that you’d be sitting on his couch while kissing him intensely, you would have laughed so loud. And probably, you’d start crying in your bed because it would cause a lot of pain to picture kissing him again. And if anyone told you that you’d have a baby with him, you’d die instantly. 
Slowly, Jungkook pushes you to lay on the couch. In a matter of seconds, your shirt is pulled out and his greedy lips find their way to your nipples. They pleasantly torture you, and you don’t hold back your moans. At this moment, you completely forget that you have a son sleeping not too far from you. 
Your back arches, bringing your body closer to his mouth. Your baby daddy doesn’t spare you at all, he tortures you in a way that only he can do. Your hands are running through his hair, almost as if you’re trying to hold onto something. Now that you’ve become a mother, your breasts are super sensitive so this torture is driven crazier than it used to. 
On top of that, it’s the first time you’ve been intimate with someone since your son’s birth. It’s also the first time another man other than your son is touching your breasts. This moment is making you feel like a woman again, something you had completely lost when you became a mother. For the past months, you’ve been first and foremost a mother, a desperate one but the woman part has been put aside. However, Jungkook is bringing back that side of you, and it makes you feel alive. 
Slowly the nipple sucking turns into you getting naked. It turns into him thrusting into you like there’s no tomorrow. For hours, you make love, completely forgetting everything. You’re in your own bubble. A bubble you should probably never have created but this feels exquisitely good. Having Jungkook in between your legs burying his cock deep inside you is like being in heaven. 
Your body has completely changed since Leo’s birth, and having sex with Jungkook helps you to explore what this new body sexually adores. But nothing compares to the feeling of his hand touching every part of you that has changed, and his lips too. However, what warms your heart is the way his eyes stare at your body. They glow so much, and it makes you feel desirable again. 
For sure, the way you see your body shouldn’t be defined by the way a man looks at you, but it helps to embrace this new body even more. Yes, you’re thankful this body provided everything Leo needed, especially since you didn’t know he was there. Yes, you’re thankful you delivered him safely. Yes, you’re thankful it gives Leo everything he needs in his first months of life. But your body changed and it’s a body you have to discover all over again. 
Your body isn’t just your home anymore, it’s Leo’s too. 
Everything is different and everything feels different. This new body is more sensitive so having sex is a hundred times better than before. Sex feels even more intense. And god, let’s not start talking about doggy style. Orgasms are coming one after the other. Everything is overwhelming but in a good way. 
Jungkook, on his side, finds you even prettier than before. Surely, it has to do with the fact that your body carried Leo for nine months and is now providing him with all that he needs. Having sex with you also feels more overwhelming for him. He’s been desperately holding back his orgasms to not come like an idiot after 3 seconds. 
After having all that sex, you simply lay on the couch next to each other, heavily breathing. You’re simply staring at the ceiling in silence for a moment. Then, Jungkook grabs the baby monitor to take a look at your son. 
“Even with all the noise we made, this kid slept,” he says with a heavy breath. 
Your eyes glaze at the baby monitor, and a little smile appears on your face. Your baby daddy puts it back on the coffee table before grabbing a blanket to place it on both of your bodies. You offer him a little smile and you rest your head on his shoulder. This intense activity tired you out a lot. It’s best to try to sleep a bit before Leo wakes up.
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Jungkook is standing at the entrance of the private school that Arya is attending. As surprising as it sounds, he took a paternity leave combined with the annual leaves he’s entitled to take, even if he’s the CEO of Jeon Industries. Being present as a father in his child’s first months of life always mattered more than anything else in the world. Those leaves surprised the entire world but the company can survive without him for a little while. He hired the best people so he trusts them. 
Once all those leaves are over, he’ll run the company from home. Going back to work with a baby who cries a thousand times at night is quite hard, and he already looks like a zombie. Since he’ll work from home, he’ll choose when to work and when not. At the end of the day, he’s the big boss so he can do whatever suits him. But right now, his priorities are his children and you. 
“Daddy,” Arya says while running in his direction. 
A bright smile appears on his face. Lately, he’s been trying to adjust to this whole new dynamic. It’s hard trying to spend as much time as possible with Arya when Leo captures all the attention. At first, she was a bit jealous of her brother but slowly, she’s been accepting that she has one now. She’s been trying to help, she gives you the diaper when you’re changing Leo, and she speaks to him when he’s crying. She’s doing what she can and it’s adorable. 
Jungkook places himself at her level to catch her. The days he has her are the days he’s the happiest because he’s surrounded by the people he loves the most. Even if he’s extremely tired, he’s extremely happy. Having a surprise child is absolutely not easy but slowly it’s getting easier. 
“Princess,” he says when he catches her. 
Nothing can compare to feeling his kids in his arms. Leo is still very small but when he holds him, he simply feels at peace, the same way it feels to hold Arya. But then, there’s you. Having you in his arms feels like being home. His heart is reassured whenever he holds you tight, and he always tries to provide you with the same feeling when you’re crying. In the past six months, he has seen you cry a thousand times and each time has been heartbreaking. Most of the time, he also ends up crying because you’re both completely overwhelmed by the situation. When it happens, you’re also the one holding him tightly. 
Leo has brought you closer than ever. 
However, it’s in a totally different way. You’ve become super close friends, and it kind of makes this situation easier to deal with. For sure, there’s a lot of pain from the past and it’s hard but you’re closer. What definitely changed your relationship is the sex. Since you had sex for the first time after your son’s birth, something deeply changed. After that time, you only made love one other time but you’ve been pretending like nothing ever happened. Because you both know that it’s mostly a physical need. 
Jungkook would be lying if he said that he doesn’t think about it quite often. When he lays his eyes on you, he’s brought back to those two incredible moments, and he wishes he could repeat them. But there’s a limit, especially since you’ve been trying to figure your life out. He noticed how things changed between you and Yeonjun. He’s fully aware that it is because you slept together and you don’t know what to do anymore. However, he's 100% sure that it’s not even in your mind to get back with him. 
“How’s your day going?” he asks his daughter. 
The little girl starts ranting about her day at school while he holds her hand and walks with her to the car. Eunji left Arya’s belongings at his place earlier today. She’s been quite helpful since your son’s arrival, and it’s been more than appreciated. Any help received right now is more than welcome. Eunji understands that this is a very complicated situation and she’s been trying to adjust as well. Most of the time, Arya only spends the day here and sleeps at her mother’s so she isn’t woken up at night by Leo. This was an agreement the three of you made. Of course, there are days where she spends the night here but it doesn’t happen quite often. However, tonight, she’s going to sleep at her father’s place, and she’s very excited. The reason you all agreed is because it’s friday and tomorrow she doesn’t need to go to school. 
Jungkook helps her to get inside the car, and as every day, she requests to listen to Part of Your World from the Little Mermaid, her favorite Disney movie. By now, you all know this song since you play it all the time. Her father doesn’t understand how she isn’t tired yet to listen to it on repeat. No doubt that he is tired of it! As they arrive home, Arya rushes to the living room to see her little brother. Luckily for her, you’re there, sitting on the couch and breastfeeding Leo. 
A bright smile appears on your face when you see her. She quickly caresses her brother’s hair before pressing a gentle kiss on his head. 
“Hi, baby brother,” she whispers. Her little eyes look up at you and a big smile appears on her face. “Hi, yn.” 
“Hi, little monster,” you answer. “I’ll give you a kiss once Leo’s done eating.” 
She nods and sits next to you. Your eyes move to Jungkook who’s putting down his daughter’s backpack. His eyes meet yours for a brief moment before quickly looking down at your breast. When you notice it, a little laugh leaves your lips while you shake your head. It’s funny the way he’s always mesmerized by your breasts. If there weren’t the kids, he would have probably said or done something. 
After Leo’s eaten enough, you made sure he burped. Then, Arya asked if she could hold him, and of course, you helped her hold her little brother. She’s always adorable and it warms everybody’s heart that she takes her big sis role very seriously. You’re thankful your son has Arya as a sister. She definitely has the biggest and most wonderful heart in the world. 
For dinner, you and Jungkook prepared lasagna much to Arya's delight. She mentioned a lot of times that it was absolutely good and she also spoke a lot about her friends because one of them is throwing a little party for their birthday. She sounded extremely excited which was cute. 
Once both Arya and Leo are sleeping, there’s just you and Jungkook in the kitchen. He’s drinking wine while you’re drinking a beer without alcohol. 
“We have to talk about what we’ve been doing,” you tell him. 
For the past few days, it has been on your mind to talk with him about the two-night stands you had. If it happened, it’s for a reason and you also need to discuss it with him because you’re a bit lost. You’re falling in love with Yeonjun but there’s Jungkook and you’ve been sleeping together. It kind of makes you feel guilty although you’re not in a relationship with him. 
Jungkook nods and takes a sip of wine. 
“I know I wanted it and I don’t regret it at all but there’s Yeonjun,” you start saying but before you can add anything, Jungkook interrupts you. 
“Listen, I’ve seen how confused you have been those past few days and I know it’s because of what we’ve been doing. What is going on is complicated, we suddenly had a son and we suddenly started living together. We share a history so for sure we’ll forever be attracted to each other in a way,” he says. “But don’t start pushing Yeonjun away because of me. He’s the right one for you.” 
It hurts to say those words out loud but truth being told, it’s better you try something with Yeonjun than him. He’s scared to hurt you once again and he’d die if he ever does it again. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself because you’re the best thing that has ever happened to him. Being friends is the best solution for you. 
“He’s been treating you better than I ever did so you should give him a chance. We’ve been pretending that nothing happened and it’s best we keep doing it. Don’t torture yourself any longer and just try. I’m sure you’ll be super happy and that’s the thing you deserve the most. I never was the right one for you but he has been the second he came into your life,” he finishes. 
A tear runs down your face. This Jungkook in front of you is such a more mature version of him than the one that broke your heart over a year ago. This man is the one you have always wanted to see but now it’s too late. Your heart beats for Yeonjun. You were scared that having sex with your ex meant that you were falling for him all over again. However, now that he is saying those words, it makes it clear that it is just an illusion. You’re still falling in love with Yeonjun but you simply had a moment of weakness due to the complicated situation that you are in. 
“And please don’t feel guilty, you didn’t cheat on him or anything. But I hope that all of this will help you to see things clearly,” he adds. 
You stand up and hug your baby daddy. In the end, the birth of Leo helped him to get more mature, that’s what you think. But the truth is that you’re the reason behind his growth. Jungkook needed to be present for you, he needed to be your shoulder to rest on while you were trying to figure out how to become a mother. You simply needed him, and he had to grow to be what you needed the most. Jungkook had lost you and all he could do was to make sure you’d be happy. Even if that meant without him.
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8 years later
Today is Leo’s 8th birthday. 
A bright smile appears on your face when your eyes land on him. He’s running all over Jungkook’s living room with his friends. He’s such a big boy and you’re proud of the little man he has become. 
“Mommy,” as those words are pronounced, you feel a little hand pushing your dress. You look down to see your second born, Levi. 
“Yes, sweetie?” you ask before grabbing him to hold him in your arms. 
Levi is the son you had with Yeonjun. He’s 4 years old and is a miniature of his father while Leo is more of a mix of you and Jungkook. So most of the time, people don’t believe them when they say they are brothers. However, that isn’t the case when it comes to Arya and Leo as they both resemble their father in a certain way. 
“Can I have cake?” he asks. 
“Not yet,” you answer. “You’ll have a piece after singing happy birthday to Leo, okay?” you tell him. 
The little boy nods before asking you to let him go. Hyejoo, the mother of Taehoon, one of Leo’s friends, joins you. She has become a very good friend of yours and she has been very present in your life for the past year. It’s been almost a year since you and Yeonjun broke up, and let’s say that it hasn’t been easy at all. For a bit over a year, the relationship has started to deteriorate. At first, it was a bit due to the monotony but you both tried to find a solution. It worked but only for a short time. 
Yeonjun lost his job, he started drinking instead of finding a new job. Your income was then the only one coming in. Obviously, it became hard to live with only one income and a drunk boyfriend. You tried to make him realize that he needed to move his ass but it only made everything worse. Trying to reason with an alcoholic is like talking to a wall. He got defensive and you were constantly fighting. In the midst of all that, you were trying to protect the kids but they could sense and see that everything was different. 
One day, you vent to Jungkook with whom you became good friends. Since he’s literally one of the wealthiest men in the country, he offered to help you. You couldn’t refuse since you had to feed two little monsters but that made things even worse. Yeonjun suddenly became jealous of Jungkook. That was the last straw. 
He never had any reason to be jealous of Jungkook. It was your ex, the romantic love between you was long gone and he is now a friend. But above anything else, he is Leo’s father. You never wanted any stupid tension between them since there are kids involved. The three of you always made everything work out for the kids and a simple job loss threw that all away. 
Today things are still complicated with Yeonjun but the break-up was his wake-up call. From there, he started getting his shit together. Temporarily you agreed to let him live with you but he had to quickly find a solution which he did. All along, Jungkook was there as he’s been doing for the past 8 years. He has been your shoulder to lay on when you need it the most. 
“How are you?” She asks. 
“I’m fine,” you tell her. “Seeing my boys excited about this birthday party truly makes me happy.” 
Seeing them happy is all that you need to be happy. Nothing else matters. 
“But you know, this date always has a bittersweet taste,” you confess. “It was one of the hardest days of my life.” 
Even though you love Leo with all your heart, it doesn’t change the fact that his birth was one of the most arduous days of your life. It will forever be like that, and every birthday will be a reminder of that day. A day you endured physical and emotional pain and a day you didn’t want him to come. When you look at him, being so happy to celebrate his birthday with his friends, it crushes your heart that you didn’t want him at first. But that’s the truth. 
“Well, it’s more than understandable,” she says. 
Your eyes move to Jungkook, who is speaking with some friends. He has changed a lot over the past 8 years. He has grown into a very mature man and it amazes you to think how different he is now. Nine years ago, he broke your heart. Now he’s the one amending it. He did a lot of work on himself, he faced all his demons and fought them. And he did it for himself, he didn’t use the stupid reason of ‘it’s for my kids’. He finally understood that he needed to take care of himself first. 
In the midst of all that internal work, he found a girlfriend, Jihyo with whom he’s still with today. She’s a sweetheart and you love her. She’s definitely the one he needs. You’re so happy that he found her, he deserves his happy ending. A couple of weeks ago, she told you that she’s convinced that he’ll propose to her any time soon. Even though he’s your ex, you’d be glad to assist at his wedding. Jihyo and Jungkook have been together for 5 years which is a record for him. 
“I know but it’s complicated to remember that day,” you add. “But seeing him this joyful today eases all the pain that was brought on that day.”  
Jungkook joins the two of you, he greets you with a bright smile and the three of you talk about the kids. Hyejoo has 4 kids, the oldest is 10 years and she’s complaining that he’s started to not listen to her. She’s getting worried about how it will be during his teenage years and also soon after Taehoon will become a teenager. 
Leo’s father explains to her how he has been dealing with Arya who’s almost 15 years old. It’s sometimes quite difficult, you’ve seen it with your own eyes but she’s still that adorable little girl that she was when she was younger. She’s just growing up, experiencing love, having her hormones all over the place, and having her first periods too. Compared to Jungkook at that age, she’s a saint. Plus, she adores taking care of Leo. She likes picking him up at school, preparing a little snack when they’re home, helping him to do his homework, and watching series and movies together. She also sometimes takes care of Levi whom she considers too as a younger brother. 
At some point, Hyejoo leaves you and Jungkook alone. Both of you are still keeping an eye on the children running around everywhere. 
“Jihyo isn’t coming today?” you ask. 
Jungkook’s smile completely disappears and you instantly understand that something happened. You wouldn’t go so far as to say they broke up but by his face, it definitely looks like it. 
“No,” he replies. “Not today nor any other day,” he adds. 
It breaks your heart to hear that they aren’t together anymore. They were just right for each other but if it’s over, then there must be a good reason. 
“Do you want to talk about it?” you gently ask. 
“Not now,” he says while shaking his head. “Let’s enjoy this little party and we'll maybe talk about it afterward. This day is already tough for us two and I prefer we celebrate our son.” 
You nod, understanding that he doesn’t want to talk about it now. A breakup is never easy, you’ve experienced some and it was always hard. The last one being quite rough, especially since Levi was involved. You wished things were different but it is what it is. At the end of the day, what truly matters is that you and your children are happy and living in a healthy environment.  
The rest of the afternoon goes well, Leo being super happy to celebrate his birthday with all his friends and family. Yours and Jungkook’s parents are also present, they wouldn’t miss their grandson’s birthday. They spoil him quite a lot but it’s normal, that’s what grandparents are supposed to do. This afternoon is a success and it warms your heart. 
Exceptionally, Leo and Levi are sleeping at Jungkook’s place and right after the party, they crash down in Leo’s bedroom. Of course, Leo’s father hired a cleaning company to clean his place. That’s the perk of being wealthy. 
Once everybody is sleeping, you and Jungkook sit on the couch with a glass of wine. This has become a tradition for the past eight years. It always feels good and you also place a picture you took of the three of you in a photo album. With it, you can see how much your little man has changed over the years. 
“He has grown so much,” Jungkook says as you watch all the pictures. 
“Indeed, and he’s such a gentle and sweet boy,” you add. 
Jungkook quickly looks at you and takes a sip of wine. Things have changed a lot for the past 8 years but he’s delighted with how things have turned. Well, he’s just sad that in the end, neither your relationship with Yeonjun nor his with Jihyo worked out. He still remembers vividly how happy he was when you were both in healthy relationships after all the chaos that yours was. But it looks like you'll have to start all over again from scratch. 
“We did a very good job despite how everything started,” he says. 
“I still remember the day he was born like it was yesterday,” you reveal.
It’s also the case for him. It was very complicated to become parents under those circumstances but he’s so proud of all the work you did. Once you live separately, you try even harder to make everything work out for Leo. That meant having difficult conversations and a lot of disagreements but in the end, it was worth it. 
“And it broke my heart seeing you in so much pain,” he confesses. “It wasn’t just physical, it was emotional as well and the only other time I had seen you like that was when your sister passed away. Right there, I knew that you needed me more than ever and that I couldn’t mess up again.” 
It’s the first time Jungkook is telling you that. You weren’t aware he felt like that but he was there for you, he was your savior. There’s no doubt that without him you wouldn’t have survived the first year. It was intense on a lot of levels but you learned a lot from that period of your life. 
“You never told me that,” you tell him. 
“I never saw the point of saying it,” he says with a little laugh. “For me, it was obvious. I already had a daughter, I kind of knew what to do. It was a shock for me and it took me some time to adjust to that new reality but you were completely overwhelmed by the entire situation. It was normal to be your shoulder to rely on,” he takes another sip of wine. 
“Without you, I wouldn’t be here today,” you admit. 
It warms his heart to hear those words. Of course, he already knew that because he saw how much you blossomed afterwards but it’s always nice to hear it from you. 
“Well, I gave up on you a bit after your sister passed away. You pushed me back but I should maybe have stayed instead of leaving. But when you were giving birth to Leo, he was also my son, and abandoning you would have been very cowardly. I also made sure I would forever be there even if you pushed me back,” he professes. 
“I’m very thankful you were there even when I was exploding,” you rest your head on his shoulder. 
This year, the conversion is quite deep. Usually, you simply talk about the funny events of the year and laugh a lot with a glass of wine. No boyfriends and girlfriends are allowed, it has always been a moment between you and Jungkook. Those moments have contributed a lot to reinforce your friendship. 
For a moment, you stay like that in silence. This year is different. Neither of you has a reason to end this moment. You don’t have Yeonjun waiting for you at home, and Jihyo isn’t waiting for Jungkook upstairs. This year there’s just the two of you. And it feels nice because you can truly savor this moment. 
“I don’t know if I ever told you that I wanted to have a child with Jihyo,” he starts saying. You shake your head. “We were very good together and I wanted to build a family with her but it all fell down. That’s what really hurts me today,” it breaks your heart to hear that. “She was expecting a proposal but I never did it, and to be honest, I don’t even know why. I loved her and wanted it all with her but I was unable to get married to her. We had a fight a month ago and she brought up that she’s kind of waiting for a proposal that never comes. I confessed to her that I can’t for unknown reasons and she got even angrier because she knew why.” 
You frown and stand up straight to glance at him. You’re a bit confused about how Jihyo would know why he wasn’t able to see himself getting married to her. 
“It was because of you,” he says with a little voice, his eyes staring deeply at you. “She told me that since the beginning of our relationship, she knew that I was still in love with you in a certain way. It was obvious for her but with time, she saw me falling in love with her so she believed things changed. However, she realized she was wrong when the proposal was never coming. She realized right there that I’d never marry her because subconsciously, I was still waiting for you.” 
Your heart is beating like crazy in your chest, and you feel your cheeks getting on fire. In his jealous phase, Yeonjun told you more or less the same thing but you thought that he was so wrong. Although, a tiny part of yourself was convinced that he was right. You thought that he was overreacting because Jungkook is Leo’s father and you would never accept Yeonjun attacking him. A good relationship between the three of you was deeply important for you because of Leo and Levi. However, maybe you were wrong. Truth being told, you broke up with him because you were still in love with Jungkook. 
“And now that you were single, there was absolutely no point in me being with someone else,” he adds. 
Jungkook gets a little closer to you and places his hand on your tight. 
“She broke up with me and it hurt a lot, especially since I was convinced that it was ridiculous but she didn’t change her mind at all,” he continues. “I really thought she was delirious but then, I started to deeply think about it. I analyzed how I was acting around you, and how I was feeling when you were there. I was quick to realize that she was right, I was subconsciously longing for you.” 
His fingers caress your tight. Your entire body is reacting to his words, this is a heartfelt love confession, and damn, it warms your heart in a way that you can’t even express. 
“I’ve been waiting for you for eight years, yn,” he confesses out loud. “And I think I might wait for you my entire life because, since the beginning, it was you. It has always been you and nobody else. I just was an idiot to have let you go twice but maybe, it wasn’t the right time for us. I know now that if you ever give me another chance, it would be the perfect time.” 
You place your hand on top of his, your eyes quickly glance at them before you look up at him. Jungkook is glowing right now in a way that you’ve never seen before. You fell for this man 20 years ago and since then, you never fell out of love for him. Since the beginning, he was the one holding your heart. As he said, maybe it was never the right time and you both needed to grow up before the perfect time would come. 
You know now that today is the perfect time. 
The past 8 years, you built a solid friendship, you faced the hardest obstacles together and you both worked a lot on yourselves. Today, you’re both different people, and these versions of yourselves can finally fully love each other.  
“I feel deep inside of me that now is the perfect time,” you admit. 
And without any hesitation, Jungkook kisses you passionately. This kiss feels completely different, it feels like you’re kissing for the first time ever. Maybe it’s because you’re different now and you need to discover each other all over again. The kiss is gentle, not rushed and you can taste the wine on his lips. Being kissed by Jungkook brings you to heaven, and you always loved being kissed by him. Slowly, you fall on your back on the couch, your hands running through his hair while you never stop kissing. 
For a moment, he breaks the kiss to look at you and rub his nose against yours. Soon enough, he presses his lips against yours for a languorous and fervent kiss. This could go a lot further but you both know that if you want to make it work this time, it’s not a good idea to have sex now. Sex is never the solution. So, Jungkook ends up laying next to you on the couch, a bright smile displayed on his face. 
“We always finish doing something on this couch,” he playfully says. “There must be something on this couch.” 
You turn your head to look at him. 
“Maybe someone put a spell on it,” you answer. 
“Well, you put a spell on me, that’s for sure!” He tells you before kissing you once more. 
He’ll never grow tired of kissing you. Your lips are his favorite thing in the entire world, he could spend hours kissing you.
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The past few weeks, you’ve been flirting with Jungkook and going on several dates. It feels like things are falling into place, you’ve been talking a lot, enjoying each other's presence and simply being in love. You’ve never been this happy in your entire life, you adore being around him. This time around feels super easy. Of course, you haven’t said anything to your children because you don’t want to give them false hopes although Arya has been suspicious of what’s going on. She already noticed something had been happening when you were leaving Leo at his place one day and she raised the question. However, you denied it. 
Also for the past weeks, you haven’t had sex at all. To be honest, it surprises you a lot because you’re both very attracted to the other but you’ve been putting that aside to build a healthy relationship. You both desire to make it work this time so there are a lot of efforts to be done on both sides. Maybe more on his side than yours but still, this is something you work on together. You’re two in a relationship and it takes two to make it work.  
Today is Valentine’s Day and you’re going on a date together. Arya has nicely accepted to take care of her brother, and Levi is staying with his father. Jungkook is taking you out to a fancy restaurant, and you’re honestly super excited to spend this evening with him. You put on your prettier red dress and he’s wearing a very fancy black suit. He looks absolutely hot in that suit, you always loved watching him in a classy suit. 
The restaurant is obviously full but people aren’t talking too loudly. There’s a band playing some romantic songs, and it definitely creates a lovey-dovey atmosphere. You’re absolutely delighted to be celebrating this Valentine’s Day with Jungkook. 
“Before we take this relationship to the next step, I really want to apologize for how I acted the last time we were trying to be together,” Jungkook starts saying and you nod. “At that time, I had spent 10 years waiting for you to come back and I never truly thought about the eventuality of it really happening. So, when it happened, it was overwhelming because I simply didn’t know what to do. But it’s also because I had never done the proper work on myself before letting you back in my life.” 
This conversation is one that you have been waiting for years. You never forced it because you always judged that it had to come from him and not from you. Forcing something will always have the opposite result but you’re glad that it’s happening now. 
“Well, now looking back, I can confirm that it’s true,” you jokingly reply.  
“Back then, it seemed a lot easier to push you back. Having you back was so overwhelming that I wasn’t even able to properly do my job. It was never your fault, it was mine. I was immature and a total jerk. I hid behind the excuse of wanting to put my daughter as a priority when I should have made you my priority. I hurt you a lot and I’m very aware of it so I made sure to never do it again.” 
You grab his hand on the table to squish it. This man right here seems to always find a way to melt your heart. 
“Your happiness is the only thing that always mattered to me, and I made it my priority. Even when we were friends, I did it. That’s also the reason why I convinced you to try with Yeonjun, I saw the way he was making you happy. Also back then, I would have never been able to give you that happiness otherwise I would have fought for you. And I also didn’t deserve you, I guess I never did,” he confesses. 
The last sentence definitely breaks your heart. You want to contradict him but for sure, back then, he didn’t deserve your love because when you gave it to him, he just threw it away. But today, things are different. He has shown you in many ways that he has changed and that he deserves to be loved. That he deserves your love. 
“Don’t say that, Jk,” you tell him with evident sadness in your voice. 
“It’s the truth, yn,” he replies. “You’re such a strong and wonderful woman, you went through so much and you’re still standing tall with a big smile on your face. I never faced half of the things you did but still managed to act like a dick. I’m proud that you’re Leo’s mom so he can have you as an example and just be wonderful like you which he’s already proving to be,” a smile appears on his face while thinking about his son. “Even if I hurt you, I would do everything the same way because I got to be Arya’s and Leo’s father and I got to grow with you by my side.” 
Jungkook changed a lot, that’s sure. You’re not sure he would have said that 8 years ago but things are different now. Leo really changed everything but in a good way. Without him, you’re not sure you’ll be sitting in this chair today. Maybe you’d still hate Jungkook but you’re sure of one thing. You would have found your way to him. You never truly believed in things such as destiny but with Jungkook, it’s different. You always knew that you were destined to be together.  
Jungkook could be saying all those words in vain without meaning them but the way he’s been acting lately ⏤ and also since Leo’s birth ⏤ proves that everything he’s saying now is the truth. You believe him. 
“If you were saying this right after you had hurt me, I would have never believed you,” you start saying. “But it comes years after and I got to witness your growth. However, it doesn’t mean that it’s going to be easy. Like you said, you hurt me and ever since, I struggle a bit to trust you. I feel like at any moment you could do it all over again,” Jungkook nods. “We’ve been having a very good time and I really want to keep doing it because I always loved you as well.” 
A smile appears on his face. 
“I promise this time around you won’t regret it,” he whispers. 
The rest of the time in the restaurant goes well. You laugh a lot, speak a lot, drink a lot, and eat a lot. This is a wonderful moment. One that you won’t easily forget. Afterward, you both decide to spend a little extra moment alone in your apartment. It won’t last long because you'd rather not leave Arya alone with Leo for too long. Well, honestly speaking, you simply want to have sex because the physical attraction together with alcohol isn’t quite a good combination. You just can’t resist the other like you’ve been doing for the past weeks. 
As soon as you pass the entrance door, you jump on each other’s lips in a very fervent and needy kiss. Jungkook’s hands lift up your dress, definitely not wanting to waste any second. His fingers directly find their way to your panties, and the mere contact of his cold fingers with your warm pussy sends shivers through your entire body. When you sense him, you realize that you’ve been desperately craving this moment for a while already. 
His fingers rub against your pussy, causing a trail of moans to leave your mouth. Your moans are a melody that he’s been longing for a while. Just the sound of it makes him grow harder in his pants. In the rush of desperately desiring to have sex and not leave the kids alone for a long time, you walk backward until reaching the dining table and you fall on it. You’re now laying on top of the table. Jungkook removes your panties and simply pushes down his pants and underwear. By reflex, you open your legs and Jungkook instantly places himself in between.  
None of you speaks during this moment, there’s just the sound of your heavy breathing echoing in your apartment. He doesn't need much prompting to start thrusting into you. The two of you moan like crazy, you definitely don’t hold back since you’re alone. There’s absolutely no need to withhold.  
Your baby daddy thrusts deep inside you and it causes the table beneath you to squeak. But to be honest, you couldn’t care less about that. You’re simply enjoying this extraordinary moment together, and it’s wonderful to feel him deep inside you. Everything feels wonderful with him. Quickly, an intense orgasm hits you, provoking your entire body to shake. The man you love senses it, a greedy smile appears on his face but he keeps going. When you have an orgasm, it simply brings him closer to the edge. 
However, the orgasm + the pleasure clearly makes you orgasm even more. It’s orgasm over orgasm, you can’t stop yourself. You’re overwhelmed with pleasure and you don’t ever want to stop it. You just let it go. The feeling of it makes him desire to completely explode inside you but for sure, he needs to ask you first if you’re okay with it. 
“Can I come inside you?” Jungkook asks. 
You can barely say ‘yes’ but you still manage to say it. In the moment, you don’t care where he comes, it’s the least of your problems. And with your simple answer, Jungkook lets it go. His orgasm hit him violently, this little quickie was what he badly wanted. 
For a brief moment, you stay like that. He goes to the kitchen to grab tissues for the two of you so you can clean yourselves from all the juices that come out from your bodies. 
“That was intense,” you say while cleaning yourself.  
“More than intense,” he replies, a little laugh escaping his lips. 
“We should do that more often,” you suggest. 
Jungkook shakes his head while still laughing. For sure, he won’t be the one complaining about having more often sex with you. 
“Maybe I should head home so Arya doesn’t go too crazy with Leo,” Jungkook adds. 
Obviously, you won’t go with him. Things need to be done slowly and even if Arya has some suspicions, it’s best she doesn’t know yet. This time around, there are three children involved and there is no space for acting like idiots. This brings a lot of happiness to you but they should know when you’re both confident that it will work. 
“Yes, you should,” you reply with a little smile. 
You stand up and rearrange your dress before walking in his direction to be closer to him. He’s zipping his pants and looks up when he notices your presence. His arms wrap around your waist, bringing you closer. He presses a gentle kiss on your forehead, your eyes automatically closing for a brief moment. 
“This night was wonderful, yn,” he whispers. “I adored the moment spent at the restaurant, and I want nothing more than to repeat it.”  
You press a soft kiss on his lips. 
“There’s nothing more I’d love to do,” you answer. 
A smile of true happiness appears on both of your faces. This night will for sure be a moment you’ll forever cherish. None of you will ever forget because this night is the night where things finally took the right turn. After this night, your relationship kept blossoming and turned into the most wonderful thing in the world. Of course, when you told the news to your children months later, they were extremely ecstatic. Seeing them that way made you realize that this was all you ever needed. 
It took you 20 years to find the right time but eventually, you found it. You were the right person for each other but it was never the right time. Timing is such a complex concept, however, it was time that allowed you to grow and fall in love all over again. You were each other's right person but it was too soon. You needed to experience all the things you lived before being brought back again. Leo’s 8th anniversary was the moment you both realized that it was finally the perfect time for you. Since the beginning, it was simply a matter of timing.  
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moonit3 · 4 months
Note
a yandere suggestion (based off what I saw on Reddit)
Yandere king (maybe he could be obsessed?) x peasant
reddit has a yandere subreddit? didn’t expected that. but thinking now, that place has everything there.
THE MONARCH AND THE PAUPER
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➥ warnings/notices: male yandere, gn! reader, violence, blood, age gap (both reader and the king are adult, but there is a line that refers the king being older), imprisonment, kidnapping, mentioned alcoholic drinks, children but nothing too much, future forced marriage, yandere being delusional and violent, reader gets chained, reader gets choked and then go unconscious, implied future punishments.
➥ yandere! king x pauper! gn reader
➥ synopsis: the lonely king falls in love with a masked person, now he is going to do anything to find them.
➥ a/n: got a little tired of writing smut, so i ended writing a more fairytale themed story compared to my previous works. also, i know it took some time to post it and there is no excuse for that, but please understand that i been spacing out more during the holiday season. but i plan to keep posting at least one time per week or two to keep working.
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a long time ago, there was a seaside kingdom whose inhabitants adore it leader for his benevolence, intelligence and courage. the winds and waves of the territory were a synonym of richness of the people’s lifes, having the opportunity to see the ocean at its best and everyone couldn’t be happier for that.
to make things better to everyone, the king thrown a festival to celebrate the arrival of the spring. citizens of all social classes adventure themselves into the city, playing all the games of the fair, tasting the most delicious food and getting to spend time with their beloved ones.
and the king didn’t lose the opportunity to spend time alongside his people. he played numerous instruments to cheer the couple dancing, he gift expensive candies to the young children and of course, he had fun knowing more of his people and getting closer to them.
he meet many families and the smiles on their faces made the king feel happier, seeing how every citizen has someone to be part of the family. however his heart become cracked when the time for dance arrived and he soon realized there was no one to dance with him.
the vast majority were couple dancing in the middle of the city hall by the sweet melody playing in the background, there are children dancing together —but it would be embarrassing to ask little kids to dance with— so he keeps himself to the sidelines, watching the crowd have fun as he admires it from far away.
everyone enjoy their time dancing, except the king. he desperately wants to find a person to dance with him, so he prays for himself for the gods to send someone to be his partner for the next dance in order and luckily, one of the divinity hear his wishes.
before the musicians start playing the instruments, someone grab him into the dance floor and the person didn’t lose time to make him enter the rhythm of the song. their face hide behind a mask, but the king can sees the sweet smile on their face when they keep dancing and laughing with him.
“my majesty! have anyone told you are a great dancer?” his cheek goes red with their words, no one have told him that and no one ever hold his hands so intimately like this. “no? then i feel honored to be the first to tell you that.”
his heart beat faster whatever the mysterious person brought their body closer to his during the slow musics, smiling and even teasing the monarch. “oh my king, aren’t you the most handsome face of the entire kingdom?“ the redness of his cheek grown strong, reminding the masked person of a tomato, “you are adorable, my king! anyone would pay millions to see you like this~”
when the last song finished, the king and the masked person bowed to each other. a smile on the monarch’s face as he could tell his heart was stolen way prior the final note and he couldn’t let them go away before knowing their name. he grabbed their wrist before they could leave, they freeze when realizing the king looks stronger than its seems.
“my dear citizen,” his lips curves into a smile, pulling the masked person too close to him. feeling their uncontrolled breathing on his neck, perhaps they are the flustered type when someone flirts back. “as your king, you have to tell your name before leaving the festival. i demand you to show yourself to me.”
the king reached for the mask, wanting to remove away from the person, except the commoner managed to free themselves on the last second and fell into the ground as result. his eyes can see a small injury bleeding at their arm, feeling guilty, the king extended his hand to help them getting up. however, the person refused his aid and ran away into the darkness of the festival.
next morning, the news about the border closure made everyone shocked and scared, never in the hundreds years would the king close the gates of the territory. something must have happened to made the monarch panicked to do it, many people believe about a criminal on the loose while others suspect that a wild beast was sighted at the woods.
both options terrified the citizens and things didn’t help with the king refusing to tell them the real reason behind his choices, saying that’s a confidential matter. believing their leader, no one bet an eye when he preferred to keep it a secret and no one cared when a cloaked figure was brought to the castle by the guards.
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being forced to be kneeling to the king isn’t something you expected for a normal day, not when you were hurting around the woods like you always do and now, you are handcuffed and the most powerful man of the nation stares down at you.
“do you know why are you here?” his voice echoed the throne room, making your body chill and hearing his footsteps getting closer to you doesn’t help either.
“i-i was caught hunting on the woods.” you stuttered. “even with the warning of the frontier getting closed, i disobeyed your orders—“ your words were abruptly cut off when the king slap across your face. his eyes showed no mercy by the tears coming out of you.
still crying, you were caught off guard by the king’s touch. feeling his harsh hands holding your cheeks didn’t comfortable, you can feel his touch mixed with frustration and regret when he clean your tears away. his grey eyes softened when your cheek before redder due to his aggression.
“you know that isn’t what i meant,” the frustration of his voice is evident. “the festival. you were the one who danced with me, isn’t that right?”
“i’m sorry, your majesty…” the handcuffs are too tightly wrapped around your wrists, it will leave a deep mark on you after it, but not as hurtful like the slap. “i was too drunk yesterday to remember anything from the festival.”
the memory of yesterday night is a distant one, clouded by the effect of the numerous bottles you drank to celebrate a friend’s birthday. the king’s frustration only grew, but this time with a hint of disbelief into it. his gaze bore into yours, observing of any trance of lies into your word.
“too drunk to remember?” his voice, now as a whisper, carried some disappointment.
with the room fallen into a suffocating silence, you could almost hear your the rhythmic of your own heart as the king approaches you slowly. your mind already thought of the worse, he will slap you once again, maybe sending you to the prison or just straight up killing you.
however, it’s didn’t happened nothing bad. the metallic click of the handcuffs falling into the ground brought you back to reality. amazed, your face slowed turn to see the king avoiding your gaze, this time his expression is unreadable, but you can feel that he has something in his mind.
“my king,“ even hesitantly, you create enough courage to speak up again, despite the perceptible urgency in your voice. “may i t-take my leave now?”
the lack of response from the king didn’t make you feel better, only deepening your fear when he seized your arm, forcing you to be pulled ayes from the throne room. with no chance of escaping from his grasp, you began crying to him, pleading to let you leave the castle and that you wouldn’t never returned. but despite that, all the yelling and pleading weren’t heard.
after dragging you deeper into the labyrinthine corridors, you find yourself trapped with the king inside his chamber. the strong winds coming inside the room are an indication that it’s to high to jump out and the only exit is now locked with the key hidden around the king’s neck.
dread settled into your heart when you felt the king’s lips on yours while shoving you into the bed. it last seconds, however it was more than enough to leave you breathless when you realize how his formerly cold eyes are now full of desire. along with his hands preventing you from getting up from the bed.
“let me go, you idiot!” this time, you attempt to put on a fight, a slap or something go defend yourself from his hands. luckily, you managed to hit some kicks on his stomach, but the king hasn’t move at all. “i will scream and show to the entire kingdom that you are a pervert!!”
the king doesn’t bothers with your threats, in fact, he is the one who ended yelling with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. “why isn’t someone here to save you?” his laugh rang out loud in the chamber, making you silent with your eyes widened in fear. “see? that’s why the poor princesses are locked in the highest tower. so no one will hear them calling for help.”
his hands go over your skin, embracing it closer to his body and not letting you move away from his touch. feeling his arms wrapping around makes you tense, it makes you feel scared of what he is going to do. however, the king only pull you closer, too close to your taste, but you don’t dare to move away from him.
“my dear citizen,” hearing his voice so close to your ear feel awful, but you remain still, not wanting to see the worse of him. “do you know why i plan to lock you up here?”
you shake your head as a ‘no’.
“you have stolen my heart during at yesterday’s festival.” he is crazy. “during the numerous songs we danced together, i could feel that you have stolen a part of my heart with every touch of your at my skin. and with the smiles on your lips made me felt loved once again, you managed to make me feel younger.”
the words left you dumbstruck. a man, a figure with enough power to overcome wars, confessing to be in love with you—someone who is the lowest of today’s society. it’s weirdly, even stupid, to think that someone like him to reveal such feelings towards you regardless of knowing you for a day or so. hopefully, he is just drunk and speaking nonsense…
“that’s why i ask you for a small request, stay by my side forever.” he declared, completely unaware of your perplexed eyes. “we might not know much about each other, my dear. however, i’m confident to say that as times goes on, we will grown closer and get married soon. maybe even having children along the way.”
“marriage? you are insane!” your body moves on its own, creating resistance to fight against the king’s hands all over your body. “maybe delusional! but you aren’t a sane man. now, let me go!!”
one of your kicks strikes right into his stomach, giving you the opportunity to reach out for the key around his neck, pulling it away from him and hurting straight to the exit. unlocking the door was a successful and without a moment of hesitation, you began running away from the chamber.
your legs keep moving, searching for an exit away from the castle and your mind already thinks of a possibility of escaping the kingdom to avoid the king’s rage. however with halls all looking indistinguishable and the refusal of the servants to help you, it didn’t take much time to find yourself trapped inside the very same labyrinthine the king dragged you though.
and it didn’t take long for the king to find you again. this time angrier and violently, making you paralyzed in front of him. instantaneous, his hands met your neck and the pressure on it triggered your eyes to see black dots over your vision inducing your consciousness into sleep. the entire world went black because of him.
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a sudden sensation awake you, drops of water falling into your skin. it’s helps you getting fully vigilant of the new place you are in, instead of the halls or even the king’s chamber, you are now locked inside a cell of the dungeons.
the dark walls full of spider’s web doesn’t help calming you down nor the chain wrapped your neck, making you regret your decision to fight against the king back then. maybe if you had stayed quiet and submissive like he wanted, you wouldn’t be in a place like this.
soon, the sounds of footsteps alerted you. and unsurprisingly, it’s the man himself standing in the other side.
“you will be spending some time here, to think about what you did wrong and what you shouldn’t have done back then.” you couldn’t help, but look at him with disgust. he speaks like you are an animal in need of discipline and he doesn’t stop. “I hope you understand that once you become more obedient, you will go back to stay with me at upstairs, where our wedding will happen during the next spring.”
“…have you lost your mind, my king?”
you expected him to yell or to potentially receiving another slap of him, nevertheless none of that occurred. instead, the king reached for the collar trapped around your neck and drawn you to cells bars, letting him hold your chin to stare up at him.
“you are the prettiest person i ever seen in my life, my dear [name].” yet again, you let him kiss your lips to avoid more conflict. “but we need to teach you some manner before i get to marry you, after all, none one would enjoy to the king to have an uneducated spouse. but don’t worry, we will have plenty of time together to teach you to become some worth of my love. from now on, you call me basil.”
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a long time ago, there was a seaside kingdom whose inhabitants adore its leader and his spouse for their benevolence, intelligence, courage and simplicity. everyone admired how the highest person in the social hierarchy fell
In love with a pauper, someone who barely knew how to live.
their love become a tale to many people, sharing the story to those who came into the kingdom during many occasions and even telling relatives when traveling abroad. everyone knew about the sweet and magic story behind the king and the pauper.
every year since their wedding, the entire territory celebrates the most important holiday by gifting flowers to the king’s spouse and telling how happy everyone is to have someone like them next to their beloved leader. it’s adorable how they stay quiet and embarrassed when children tell them how much they are lucky to be married with a king, while the king himself laughs for their spouse’s shy behavior.
it’s rare when the former pauper comes out of the castle’s walls, staying there and taking care of the future heirs of the kingdom as part of their duty. the citizens admire how the spouse take the role of the main caretaker, instead of handling it to the maids as many leaders did, despite being someone who doesn’t have much experience in taking care of children, everyone knows they are doing their best.
and everyone knows how much the king loves his spouse, showing their feelings by giving them anything they wish in exchange for their eternal love. but none really knows what goes inside the castle’s wall when nobody is around the two of them
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@moonit3 writings
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greynatomy · 6 months
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who even are you?
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katrina gorry x reader
this was a request from wattpad. finally wrote about another matilda. my writing block is slightly going away.
this is one of the ones that’s been sitting in the drafts
part 2 part 3
———
You met Katrina at the beginning of 2021. You were in Australia on a vacation when you nearly knocked her down walking to a café. Your tall frame towers over hers by almost a whole foot.
As an apology, you invited her to have breakfast with you, connecting with one another instantly. You talked about what you did for work, intrigued when she said she played football professionally. She also opened up about always wanting to become a mother and recently finding out her ivf procedure worked and was currently pregnant.
You hit it off pretty well, hanging out everyday, which turned into you asking her on a date and becoming official by the end of your month long vacation. It was difficult when you had to go back home to England.
Months passed and you talked whenever you could, missing her more and more. You talked to your boss about wanting to go remote, but would fly out only when necessary and surprisingly to you, he agreed.
You talked about it to Katrina and she was ecstatic. You moved in with her just before her final weeks of pregnancy.
In the delivery room, once a little baby girl was born, which Katrina named her Harper, she asked if it would be okay if she put your name in the other box for parent. You cried into her shoulder, wanting nothing more.
After some time, you’d gotten married in a small private ceremony months after Harper’s birth, moving into a bigger place. You both couldn’t be happier.
Two years later, the Australia’s Women’s National Team were currently in training for the Olympic Qualifying Asia. Harper was off to the side of the pitch playing with all the toys that she brought with her.
The coach calls the team for a water break, Mini’s two other kids, Kyra and Charli, rush over to Harper.
“Havin’ fun Harps?”
“Yeah!” She raises up her little doll to show them.
Catching their breath, the three play with each other, all in their own world, until the coach calls them back in for a scrimmage. It was a close game, playing like it was a real match.
As everyone was focused on the game, Harper saw someone familiar in the distance, instantly getting up from her blanket, running towards the figure.
“Mama!” She crashes into you.
“Hi, Harper. You been good for Mommy?”
“Yeah!” Harper sees a ball and tugs you by the hand. “Mama, play!”
“Wanna play some football?”
In your own little world, the team’s scrimmage finished, everyone eager to change out of their sweaty gear. Kyra and Charli took off to Harper’s blanket wanting to spend some time with their little sister. The thing is, Harper’s not in the blanket.
“Charli, where’s Harper?”
“How would I know?”
“You’re supposed to keep an eye on her.”
“Me? What about you?”
“How’d we lose a baby?”
“Hey, guys!” Startled, they turn around to see Mini. “Good training today, huh? Where’d Harper go?”
“Uh-well-um—” Charli started malfunctioning.
“Wait! Look there!” Kyra pointed to the distance, seeing Harper with someone she’s never seen before. “Hey! Get away from her!” Before the other two know it, Kyra was already running to where Harper and the supposed stranger are, grabbing Harper out of your arms.
Katrina realizing that it was you, runs after Kyra, hearing her daughter let out a cry.
“How did you get in here? I’m gonna call security!”
“Can you just listen to—”
“—Why should I listen to you, you-you kidnapper!”
The rest of the Matildas are now aware of all the commotion, going up to it.
“What’s happening here?” Sam asks, seeing Kyra hold onto a crying Harper tightly.
“She’s trying to take Harper!”
“What? No, I’m not!”
“Who even are you?”
“If you’d let me expl—”
“I don’t wanna listen to what you have to sa—”
“SHUT UP!” Katrina yelled, everyone going silent, except for the cries of Harper. “Look, this isn’t how it’s supposed to go, but conclusions were jumped into so I’m doing it now. This is Y/N and she’s my wife and Harper’s other Mom.”
“You’re married?” “Wife?” “Other mom?” “Since when?” “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Okay! Shut up! I’ll answer everything after we’ve all showered and dressed. Kyra give Harper back to Y/N.”
Handing Harper back to you, she gives you and apologetic smile.
“Sorry about that.”
“It’s alright. Just a misunderstanding.”
As they all go into the changing rooms, you greet your wife with a kiss.
“That was something, huh?”
“Definitely not how I wanted it to go.”
“‘Least it’s out of the way. Can we get some ice cream after?”
“I sceam (ice cream)!” Harper suddenly has a burst of energy.”
“Ice cream!”
“I have two children at this point.”
“Don’t Kyra and Charli call you Mom?”
“Four children. I have four children and you all drive me insane.”
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kamaluhkhan · 8 months
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ours are the moments i play in the dark
pairing: conrad fisher x fem!reader
summary: you come back to cousins beach after a few years away. conrad is not particularly happy that you're back - and you aren't particularly thrilled, either. too bad there's a history (chemistry?) neither of you can deny.
warnings: ANGST (im so sorry in advance...); flashback is from conrad's POV and the rest is from reader's perspective; mentions of sex + losing virginities (nothing too detailed/graphic); reader has an ex who's referred to with gender neutral pronouns; reader and other characters drink alcohol (pomegranate margaritas ;) ); hints of alcoholism (reader's mother); jealous reader who's trying her best; pining conrad who's a bit of a jerk; reader and conrad fight A Lot (they will make up eventually i promise!!)
tags: @stargirlsirius-recs, @ifilwtmfc, @qwertyb2577, @allnrsnz, @baconeggndcheez, @peanutbelley, @imogen-skye, @geekinthefuschiahair, @tvije, @drikawinchester, @maybankslover, @junnniiieee07, @elcpsstuff, @fangirl-kimora, @redbierd, @starkeylover
a/n: thank you so much for all the love on my conrad series so far! i love these characters and writing their stories, and it means so much that others are enjoying reading my work. there is one more part left and i promise it will be happier so stay tuned :)) i haven't watched the last two episodes of season 2, but i'm planning on writing a bit for that, too!! thank you x infinity ♡
part one | part two
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i lost a friend / like keys in a sofa / like a wallet in the backseat / like ice in the summer heat (finneas, "i lost a friend")
now — summer, age 18
“you know, you guys aren’t fooling anyone.”
“and what exactly do you mean by that, steven?” you challenge, taking another sip of your soda. 
it’s the fourth of july and susannah invited you over for her annual celebration. susannah always hosted fun parties, so you were more than happy to accept because it meant eating some good food, listening to an upbeat playlist, watching some fireworks, and just relaxing. essentially, susannah always delivered the best of summer, rolled into a carefully planned event. 
the sun was shining, and everyone was having a good time, including you — at least, until you saw conrad and nicole in the pool, engaging in some serious PDA. you immediately got out of the pool and went to sulk near the drink table, where you were happily alone until steven came over to join you.
“i’m just saying, man. you and con are definitely going out of your way to prove that you’re mad at each other,” steven explains. “but we all know how much you care about each other.”
steven is right about the first part: you and conrad had done your best to avoid each other since the incident at nicole’s party and its fallout. if you and jeremiah had planned to go surfing and he invited conrad, you would always back out at the last minute. if you were over at the fishers helping belly pick out an outfit for a date with cam, conrad would conveniently stay in his room. not to mention, any time the two of you did cross paths — which was rare, but jeremiah and belly were persistent in requesting that all five of you spend time together, like the old days, they would say — it resulted in meaningless, petty arguments. the two of you had always been competitive and very comfortable teasing each other, but the difference was that now, your interactions were no longer good-natured.
you thought steven, belly, and jeremiah hadn’t noticed, but you should have given them more credit. to anyone who knew you, it was pretty obvious that something was up between you and conrad, even if they didn’t know what exactly it was.
“there’s a thin line between love and hate. and right now you guys are that line.”
“thank you for your insight,” you say sarcastically. “be sure to include that in your college essay — i’m sure princeton would love to have you.”
steven rolls his eyes at you, just as nicole arrives at the drink table.
“hey guys,” she greets. she reaches over to grab two cans of peach iced tea before you stop her. 
“conrad’s allergic to peaches,” you say. “so you might wanna get him something else.”
nicole looks at you for a second before nodding and reaching for a can of sprite instead. 
“thanks,” she says as she walks away. 
once she’s gone, steven gives you a pointed look.
“what?” you scoff. 
steven just shakes his head. “love and hate,” he muses, leaving you to join his parents and shayla near the pool. 
you then decide to go inside briefly, where you find belly and jeremiah, pouring vodka into a blender.
“we’re making pomegranate margaritas!” belly exclaims, practically giddy. 
“well, you gotta use the good blender for that.” conrad seems to appear out of nowhere from behind you, instantly reaching for the aforementioned good blender and placing it on the counter.
you were already in a sour mood from seeing him with nicole earlier, but belly looks at you with hopeful eyes, and you remember what steven said earlier, so you mentally promise that you would play nice with conrad. you owe belly and the others that much after being absent for so long: a carefree summer, just like the ones you used to know. 
you imagine that jeremiah sent conrad a similar pleading look because, miraculously, you and conrad don’t argue with each other as you help mix pomegranate margaritas for everyone. you actually engage in playful banter and laugh at the other’s jokes. you even feel sorry for him when his father, who wasn’t supposed to be here, walks in. you can feel the good mood slipping, so you suggest heading to the beach for a change of scenery.
belly had invited cam and a few more girls who are doing the debutante thing with her, and with steven bringing shayla and conrad bringing nicole (which, you are totally fine with, of course, especially after a pomegranate margarita), you had a pretty solid party forming on the beach, away from the adults. 
of all people, belly suggests some drinking games. it’s all a blur of sand, laughter, and vodka spiked fruit juice. once you were all the perfect amount of tired and tipsy, the group settles down, and gigi suggests a different game.
“we should play truth or dare.”
“oh my gosh we should!” belly smiles, tapping your leg enthusiastically. “remember? we used to play it all the time!”
you smile back. “of course i do.” 
when you were kids, you, belly, steven, jeremiah, and conrad would play truth or dare any chance you got. it was never very serious, mostly goofy pranks and harmless questions. you had all grown up since then, and somewhere along the way, truth or dare had become less innocent than it used to be.
“y/n,” one of the debs — dara, if you remembered correctly — turns to you. it was the first time your name had been called, and in all honesty, you were perfectly happy just sitting back in the sun and sipping the rest of your drink. “truth or dare?” 
you choose truth, mostly to avoid having to get up from your very comfortable seat on the sand.
“are you a virgin?”
your mouth suddenly feels dry. you’re not ashamed of your answer, but it doesn’t help that you can see conrad glaring at you from the corner of your eye. you take another sip of your drink before answering. 
“um, not really.” 
“it’s yes or no question,” nicole says. 
“then my answer’s no,” you declare.
“what?” belly screeches. she sits up straighter to turn towards you, and in the process spills some pomegranate margarita on her dress. “i can’t believe you had sex and didn’t tell me? when? with who? what was it like?” her cheeks are slightly flushed. a sober belly would have likely asked you in private, or at the very least, not in front of people you barely knew. in that moment, you almost regret the pomegranate margaritas.
almost. because maybe it’s the silence and everyone’s expectant stares, or the adrenaline you feel from winning most of the drinking games, or the effects of the drinks themselves, but you convince yourself that it’s as good a time as any to tell the story. a sober you would have known to tread more carefully given the context; that would have been about three pomegranate margaritas ago, though. 
“it’s kind of a cliche story, honestly,” you start. “it happened last summer. it was raining that night, so we were hanging out in the back of my teammate’s van, just talking, and one thing led to another….we didn’t plan to do anything, but we got caught in the heat of the moment.” you choose your words carefully, deliberately avoiding eye contact with conrad.
“how was it though?” belly asks, leaning in closer.
you shrug. “a little awkward, i guess? neither of us had sex before then, and we were both figuring stuff out. like, he couldn’t open the condom wrapper because he was so flustered, so i had to help him. it was nice, though,” you admit. “when the rain cleared, we went out to stargaze and fell asleep on the beach.”
belly sighs. “so romantic.”
“you’re right about it being cliche,” steven laughs. he has an arm thrown around shayla, and uses the other to gesture towards conrad. “conrad, man, that sounds almost exactly like your first time.”
you feel your entire body heat up, and it's not because of the sun shining down on you. conrad’s gaze finally meets yours — for a split second only, but it’s enough for steven to notice. 
“holy shit! it all makes sense now!” steven exclaims, suddenly standing up.
jeremiah frowns, looking between you, conrad, and steven. “what makes sense?”
“i’ve been trying to figure out why y/n and conrad have been so weird around each other this summer, but it’s obvious now: they lost their virginities to each other. they had sex!”
nicole stiffens and narrows her eyes at conrad. “you told me you never hooked up with y/n.”
“well, that’s definitely not true.”
“belly,” you warn, looking over to conrad once more. his cheeks are turning red, and you imagine a storm brewing beneath his dark blue eyes. 
“i don’t know about last summer,” belly continues, completely oblivious to the tension building. “but i do know that they kissed at your party.”
“i knew it,” nicole scoffs, pushing away from conrad. “i knew it.” with one last poisonous glare towards conrad, she storms off.
conrad sends you an equally poisonous look before chasing after her. the party dissolves shortly after.
feeling defeated, you lie back in the sand, close your eyes, and let the sun shine down on you once more, taking deep breaths to slow down your heart rate.
call it karma or a cruel twist of fate or just a really shitty coincidence, but you’re finally the one left alone on the beach.
then — summer, age 17
conrad was more than a little surprised to see your name appear on his phone. it wasn't like you were completely off the grid — you texted, though infrequently, and followed each other on socials. he scrolled through his instagram feed and saw the occasional picture of you wearing a costume at a halloween party or sipping hot chocolate on a snowy day. photos that never quite fit the image he had of you in his mind: in cutoff denim shorts and a swimsuit and layers of sunscreen, with sand in your hair and popsicle stains on your lips.
“hey,” he answered after only three rings. 
"hey fisher, any friday night plans?"
he told you he was working on his college essay.
“homework on a friday night in the middle of summer,” you tsked. “i never realized how much of a nerd you are.”
conrad laughed. “i mean, that’s on you for just realizing that.”
 “fair enough,” you hummed, and conrad could practically hear your smile through the phone. “if you’re in the mood for something more fun, look out your window.”
conrad wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but you standing in the driveway of his summer house was pretty low on the list. you waved at him frantically, telling him to hurry up and open his window.
he was still in awe as you climbed through. conrad tried to memorize the image of you then and there, standing in front of him in his bedroom: wearing dolphin shorts and a light jacket, with chipped turquoise nail polish and a bright smile.
"you drove all the way here?" 
"well, they haven't cracked the science behind teleportation yet," you say playfully. "so i didn't have many options."
"i can't believe you're here," conrad smiled, and that’s when you finally hugged him. he held on tightly, afraid you would leave at any moment if he let go. you smelled the same, like chlorine and vanilla sugar.
once you broke away from the hug, you pointed towards something behind him, pinned to his bulletin board. conrad followed your gaze and felt his cheeks heat up.
“i missed you, too, connie,” you teased, eyes lingering on the newspaper clipping of your swim team making it to nationals thanks to your record time. 
“mom showed it to me,” he explained, the smile on your face making his heart beat out of his chest. “she’s so proud of her little mermaid.”
your smile fell, just a bit, but enough for conrad to notice a shift in your mood. you always did a good job at hiding the weight of the world on your shoulders, at least around the others. not so much around him.
you sighed and sat down on his bed. “you know, after that swim meet, my dad lectured me about not being fast enough,” you explained. “winning by only a millisecond apparently wasn’t enough to impress college scouts, at least according to him.”
“your dad’s a jerk,” conrad said instantly. he sat down next to you. “and an idiot, if he can’t see how amazing you are.”
“thanks, connie,” you whispered. it looked like you were going to say more; instead, you picked up his laptop. “wow, you weren’t kidding when you said you were working on your college essay. you really are a nerd.”
“shut up,” conrad laughed, nudging you with his shoulder and trying to grab the laptop from you.
you nudged him back. “it’s a compliment! schools go crazy for trust fund nerds.”
“yeah, yeah.” conrad waved you off. “so, you’re in cousins for the summer?”
all you did was smile softly and close the laptop, finally handing it back to him.
conrad’s heart burst with joy. because not only were you there — finally there, after all that time away — but you were staying. his mom would always muse about summers in cousins being magical, but conrad didn’t quite believe her until you were gone and he felt that magic fade away. 
“do you wanna go downstairs? belly’s watching it happened one night with my mom and laurel.”
“as much as i love susannah’s favourite movie,” you started, and conrad’s heart soared again at you remembering his mom’s favourite movie. “i thought maybe it could just be the two of us tonight? maybe we could go for a drive.”
that’s how the two of you ended up at mermaid grove — a secluded stretch of beach about an hour away from your houses. it was near the mall your mothers sometimes went to, and during one of those excursions when you were young, all the kids wandered off and found it. the only time you’d been there was during the day and with jeremiah, belly, steven, and your siblings, so it felt different then, at night with just the two of you.
it started raining on the drive over — which only took 45 minutes without traffic — so you were hanging out in the back of your van. the van actually belonged to one of your teammate’s cousin who was somewhat of a hippie, you said, which explained the smell of weed and bohemian decor — battery powered rainbow fairy lights, colourful pillows, an elaborately patterned tapestry. the space was definitely intimate, or maybe it felt that way because you and conrad were sitting as close as possible to each other, shoulders touching and one of your legs tangled with his. he was scrolling through the pictures on your phone of your last swim meet in california, where you'd gotten the chance to visit stanford, while you were peeling an orange. 
"you would love it there, connie,” you gushed. you dug your fingers into the orange peel, and the smell of citrus started to fill the air. “the beaches are beautiful and the waves are amazing. it’s like, always summer.” 
conrad sometimes felt like summer was the only season of the year that he was truly awake, truly living. everything else felt like a dream, one that he would always describe to you in mundane detail; conrad even kept a small journal throughout the year, writing things down that he needed to tell you once you reunited every june. but one journal had turned to two, almost three, and conrad was trying really hard to not resent you for that.
“anyways, i think i’m going to apply in the fall.”
conrad stopped scrolling through your phone, pausing at a picture you had taken of a lemon tree. “doesn’t your dad have princeton lined up?”
“you make it sound like he bought my way in, when it was actually hours and hours and hours of training to get that scholarship. on the national best swim team.” you mimicked your father’s patronising tone for that last part; conrad hadn’t seen him in years, and he could still recognize it. 
“you’re right, though. my dad would flip his shit. even if i got in with a scholarship, it’s so far away and i have the twins to look after, but a girl can dream, right?”
“i feel that,” conrad assured. you gave him a sad smile, knowing that his dad was as intense about football as yours was about swimming. the worst part was that you both loved your respective sports, until they became a burden. you both had other burdens to deal with, too, when it came to your families. 
“in an ideal world, the two of us wouldn’t have to worry about anything else. we’d live in a place by the beach, surf every day, and hang out in the sun while sipping ice-cold, fresh lemonade.” just like we used to, conrad added in his head.
“in an ideal world,” you agreed. “we’d also adopt four dogs, each named after one of the beatles. you can teach them how to play the guitar.”
conrad laughed. “if i couldn’t teach you, there is no way i can teach one dog, let alone four.”
“well, they wouldn’t get distracted by your dreamy blue eyes like i did.” you winked at conrad, and handed him the freshly peeled orange before he even had time to blush.
“take it,” he protested. “you drove all this way — you should eat something.”
you shook your head and placed the orange in his hand before you pulled out another fruit from your bag. “i picked some of these up on the way here — best peaches on the east coast.” you took a big bite. “remember the summer we found out that you had a mild peach allergy?” you asked, juice dripping down your chin. you wiped it with the sleeve of the varsity jacket you wore.
conrad laughed at the memory. belly and steven had brought back candy from their trip to toronto. conrad practically inhaled an entire bag of fuzzy peaches, and didn’t realize that they weren’t supposed to make your mouth itchy — the “fuzzy” part wasn’t literal. that felt like so long ago, but there you and conrad were, settling back into each other like no time had passed.
as the night grew darker, you and conrad shifted closer to each other. conrad ate orange slice after orange slice as you devoured your peach, all while looking through the photos on your phone. you’d occasionally interject with a short story or comment, and there were still raindrops falling on the roof, but for the most part, there was nothing but a comfortable silence between you. 
you moved to wrap the orange peel and peach pit in a napkin, just as conrad swiped onto a photo of someone kissing your cheek.
“who’s that?”
you leaned over to check. “oh. that’s sam.”
“are you dating?” conrad asked, trying to seem casual about it. just a friend asking another friend about their romantic situation. as a friend. 
“we were,” you explained, sitting back next to him. “they broke up with me a few months ago.”
conrad sighed in relief, which he hoped you didn’t notice. “sorry.”
you shrugged. “it’s fine. apparently i’m emotionally distant.”
that wasn’t much of a surprise to conrad. sam might have been an idiot for breaking up with you, but they were spot on with the emotionally distant part. out of all the time you’d known each other, conrad had only seen you cry once, maybe twice. you were usually the one wiping away tears and putting on a brave face, inadvertently, or maybe purposefully, hiding your own vulnerability. 
still, that wasn’t something conrad was about to stir up.
“what? you?” he joked instead.
“shut up,” you said, rolling your eyes, but the wry smile on your face gave you away. “how about you? broke any hearts this past year?”
conrad thought for a moment. there was aubrey, who his football teammate said had a major crush on him. they had been texting for a while now, and were on the edge of maybe becoming something. but then, there you were, stirring up feelings conrad had long buried — or, at least, tried to. if part of his head was always in summer, then part of his heart always belonged to you. 
“no.”
“got your heart broken?”
he thought back to a few weeks ago, when he ran into your mom at the grocery store, and she said you wouldn’t be coming to cousins again that summer. you hadn’t spoken at all to each other for a month or two before that.
“no,” he lied.
you hummed, and took your phone away from him. 
“wanna hear something trippy?” you asked suddenly. you always had a knack for changing the course of a conversation to where you wanted it to go.
“what?”
“well, since it takes a while for light from space to reach us, when we stargaze, we’re actually looking back in time. like, the star that’s closest to earth — other than the sun — is four light years away. or is it five?” you paused. “anyways, if the sky was clear and we could see that star, it would mean we’d actually be looking at that star from summer, five years ago.”
“very trippy,” conrad agreed. “it’s like a cosmic time machine.”
you hummed. “do you ever wonder what our past selves back then, at like 12 or 13, would think of us now? i think about those summers and how magical they felt.” 
magical. you turned to smile at him softly, and conrad couldn't help but agree.
“i always thought you’d be my first kiss,” you whispered. 
that threw conrad off guard, and it took him a few seconds to regain balance. the van suddenly felt too small and the lingering scent of fruit shared between you two, mixed with the familiar smell of chlorine and vanilla from how close you were sitting to him, became overwhelming. his heart was beating out of his chest — not because he didn’t feel the same way, but because he did.
conrad knew what his 13 year old self would think of him now: he’d be up in arms over his awkward pause, screaming to finally tell you how he felt then, and how those feelings hadn’t really left. how you made him feel safe, excited, confused and angry. how there was a space in his heart just for you, and it was painfully empty when you left, but now that you’re there again —
“sorry,” you said, cutting through the silence. you subtly shifted away from conrad. “i didn’t mean to make things weird.”
“you didn’t,” conrad answered instantly. he registered how you were now slightly hunched over and brought your knees to your chest, how you bit your lip and avoided eye contact — a few hints that you felt uncomfortable, deflated even at his lack of response. 
so, he moved closer to you and gently placed a hand on your knee. 
“you didn’t make things weird,” conrad assured once more. you were brave, he decided: for a lot of things you did, but right then for being so honest, so vulnerable. it inspired him to do the same. “i mean, this might make things weird, but i always thought you’d be my first…you know. at least, ever since i knew what sex even was.”
you finally turned towards him, your lips slightly parted. 
“yeah,” you breathed. “me too.”
conrad’s eyes flicked to your lips, then back to your eyes. 
“do you still want to —”
“yes. i - i mean, no pressure, but if you still want to —”
“i do.”
you smiled then and conrad felt himself do the same. 
when you kissed for the first time, it was like rainclouds parted and the stars came out, shining bright in infinite darkness. the two of you became tangled up in each other: you sat in his lap, legs on either side of his waist, your chests pressed together and your fingers tangled in his hair, which drove him crazy. conrad let his hands explore your body, gently grazing the skin under your shirt. his lips tingled from the remnants of peach juice on yours, but he kept kissing you. 
it was awkward and exhilarating at the same time. you asked each other if what you were doing felt good and right and were slightly embarrassed if the answer was no, but still adjusted if needed. at one point, conrad was fumbling with the condom wrapper and you had to open it with your teeth; he jokingly pointed out how you used to do the same with packs of sour patch kids and you giggled before kissing him again.
the two of you lay down on the floor once you were done. your head rested on conrad’s chest and he had his arm around you, idly tracing shapes on your skin with his fingertips. he craned his neck down to look at you.
even in the dim lighting and after years apart, you looked the same. even if you’d never been that close before, at least not in the same way you had just been, you felt familiar. 
you tilted you head towards him and smiled. 
“what?” 
there was something about the way you looked at him that still made him blush, and conrad hoped that with the lack of bright light, you wouldn’t notice. 
“sounds like the rain stopped,” he said. “wanna go stargazing?”
it was slightly chilly, so you let conrad borrow your varsity jacket, even if it didn’t fit perfectly. the sky was clear and full of stars. you spent the rest of the night there together, on the beach. 
in the morning, conrad woke up before you. he watched as you took slow, deep breaths with your eyes still closed. you looked so peaceful — until the sound of your alarm prompted you to wake up.
“shit,” you exhaled, your eyes wide once you noticed the sun had risen. “what time is it?” 
you searched frantically for your phone, only to find it right next to you.
“shit,” you repeated once you checked the time. you stood up right away, sand kicking from underneath your feet. “this is bad.”
“what —”
conrad didn’t have time to even ask you what was wrong because you bolted to the van. he followed you.
“what’s wrong?”
you looked at conrad, brows furrowed. “i have to go. i don’t want to leave you, but i have to go.”
“it’s okay,” conrad reassured. he stepped closer to you and placed a hand on your cheek. “i’ll be here when you get back.”
“i’m…” you step away from him. “i’m not coming back.”
“what do you mean?” he tried to steady his voice, but a dangerous mix of hurt and anger threatened to wash over him. conrad’s heart dropped, knowing all too well what was likely coming next, but he hoped, wished, that it wouldn’t be like before.
“i’ve got a swim meet in boston,” you exhaled. “but i can drive you home on my way there.”
“you’ll come back to cousins after,” conrad declared, as if saying it out could change what would happen next. “you said you’d be here for the summer.” 
you shrugged, stumbling over your words. “technically, i didn’t say that. you just assumed and — ”
“and you wanted me to believe it, right?”
you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. “just — let me drive you home, connie.”
the use of his childhood nickname — the one he secretly despised, except when it came from you — was what made him snap.
“i should have known,” he snarled. “god, i should have known. you don’t care about me, about us. swimming over everything, right?”
“that’s not true.” your eyes opened, but you still wouldn’t meet his gaze. “i do care, but you know the pressure i’m under —”
“fine. you want to talk about pressure?” conrad laughed, bitterly, all his frustration bleeding out and pooling at your feet. “my mom had cancer, and you couldn’t even be there for me. texts and phone calls only do so much when you’re watching the woman who raised you wither away to nothing.”
your eyes softened slightly, finally looking at him. you took a step forward, but conrad took another two back. 
“conrad —”
 “no. don’t,” he snapped, making you stop. “why did you even come here?”
“i was close by and…” you paused. “i guess i just needed to come back, even just for a bit.” 
"figures," conrad scoffed. “you only care when it’s convenient.” 
“that’s not true,” you repeated. 
conrad waited a second for you say something more, but you didn’t. 
“well, i’m really glad you got what you needed,” he mocked. “tell me, does nostalgia and sex help you swim faster? impress college scouts? make daddy proud of you?” 
you stiffened slightly. “don’t be an asshole.”
“no, no. congratulations!” he clapped to emphasize his point. “i’m so glad i could help you! guess you just needed a quick fuck before your big competition for some good luck. hope it works out in your favour.”
there was so much venom laced in his words, and he could tell you noticed. you looked at him like he was a stranger. 
“fuck you,” you finally said. your voice was shaking slightly and it looked like tears were forming in your eyes. “you can walk home, for all i care.” 
without another word, you got into the car and drove away. conrad watched your car become smaller in the distance as he stood alone at the beach, wearing your jacket and replaying every word he said.
now 
it’s hours after susannah’s fourth of july celebration. the adrenaline and alcohol from early wore off, and you’re sitting on your front porch, sipping tea from your favourite mug. you were hoping to relax, but the sight of conrad fisher storming up to you threatens that.
“where do you get off, saying what you did earlier?” 
even under the low light of the porch, you can see that his face is red with anger. he came here to argue, but you’re too tired to really care.
“well, shit, conrad,” you sigh. “don’t blame me. blame — blame truth or dare and pomegranate margaritas and steven for being so goddamn perceptive.” 
“you lied,” he accuses, crossing his arms. “you said you didn’t tell belly about us kissing at nicole’s party.”
“at least i didn’t lie to my girlfriend,” you point out, your voice dull from exhaustion. conrad is momentarily at a loss for words, furrowing his brow even further, so you decide to steer the conversation in another direction — away. “look, i just had to pick up my drunk mother from the bar, so i’m really not in the mood for this conversation.”
you move to leave, but conrad grabs your left wrist before you reach the door. the sudden action startles you, and you release the mug you were holding in your right hand. it falls to the ground, the break clean, and the rest of your tea spills onto the porch. you exhale sharply, turning back to face conrad.
“i don’t care,” he snaps. “you fucked up earlier today. you never should have mentioned that night. talking about it like it actually meant something to you.”
“you know what, conrad? maybe it’s hard for you to believe, but that night actually meant something to me.” you laugh bitterly, feeling more awake than before. “and, yeah, now i’ve spent so much time regretting it. because maybe i hoped that we’d start dating, but even if that didn’t happen, i never expected to lose my best friend.”
conrad rolls his eyes. “i don’t know how you can stand there and call me your best friend. best friends don’t leave each other —”
“fine, i did leave,” you interrupt. your voice is slightly raised, and you can’t help but feel a new rush of adrenaline flowing through your veins. the fact that conrad is standing in front of you, suggesting that you were the one to blame for the hostility between you — that made you frustrated, angry, even. 
“i had other shit going on,” you continue. “and maybe i didn’t handle the situation well at first — that’s on me, sure. but i wasn’t the one who ignored texts and sent calls straight to voicemails. i’m not the one who’s spending the summer avoiding everyone who knows them because they’re too scared of others finding out the truth. i don’t know who you are this summer, but i know the real you, conrad.”
“no, you don’t.”
by now, you’ve walked closer, standing only a few inches in front of him. if you reached out, you’d be able to brush the bangs away from his forehead, but you don’t. 
“i do know you,” you assert. “in fact, i hate how much i know you. i know that “yesterday” by the beatles is your favourite song, and the first one you learned on the guitar. i know that you’re crazy good at chess, but let jeremiah win sometimes when your dad is watching. i know that you love playing football, but hate that you’re expected to play it. i know that i hurt you last year, so you had to ignore me because that was easier than admitting how you really feel because — because you’re scared.” 
“you’re wrong.” conrad stares at you, his gaze heavy on yours. 
you shake your head. “i know that you didn’t tell anyone about what happened between us because it meant something to you. and that really scares you, too.” 
“you’re…you’re wrong.” conrad’s voice wavers a bit, his eyes soften ever so slightly, and you know you’ve struck a chord. 
“i’m not,” you say. “and, honestly? i’m so fucking tired of waiting for you to realize that. i don’t care anymore. whatever was between us during all those summers, it's obviously not here anymore."
“you’re wrong,” he’s like a broken record, stuck on the same lyric. 
"stop blaming me for fucking this up," you continue. "it's your mess, too, conrad. and i’m so fucking tired."
it’s late, and it’s dark, and you can’t bring yourself to stay here anymore. without saying anything else, you step over the broken porcelain of your favourite mug and into your house, leaving conrad alone on your poorly lit porch.
when the sun rises and you go outside in the morning, the pieces are gone. 
795 notes · View notes
flwrshee · 8 months
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✉️ NIKI AS YOUR BF
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duo ﹒ niki x fmr genre fluff wc 05k warnings kissing , nicknames note 💬 happy birthday yua
the sweetest boyfriend ever
he always has your back
you forget something? niki probably has it
you are hungry? niki will take you to a cafe
you feel sad? niki has so many ways to cheer you up
the smile on your face is what he wants
he loves making you happy, if you are happy he is happier
his love language is playing pranks and annoying you
before you started dating they weren’t that bad
but oh god, after you started dating they grew worse everyday
its like he enjoys your suffering
but they are really light hearted because he knows you can get mad
he adores playing with your hair
he likes how soft and relaxing it is
he gently taps your head and you already know what he wants
you lay down on his lap while he strokes your hair
seeing how long and pretty it is makes him happy
niki is the boyfriend that only lets you do certain things that others can't do because your his girlfriend
first one is, borrowing his hoodies as much as you want
he hates sharing his clothes with others but your his only exception
he loves how oversized they look on you
it makes him laugh, seeing how cute you are
second on the list, letting you purposely win in a game
niki is very competitive when playing but he doesn't mind if he loses against you
he pretends to do bad just so he can see you smile from a victory
last one on the list is physical affection
his love language is acts of service but when you want cuddles or kisses niki never says no
like i said, your are his only exception
he gives the best hugs ever im telling you
he will scoop you up and wrap himself around you until you can't breathe
and his kisses are really soft and delicate
he loves to give peppery kisses all around your face
because he loves to tickle you
on the topic of tickling, he will tickle you until you scream for help
it's like he has a special way of making you run out of breath
he just loves having fun with you
he's will always be a little kid at heart
niki is the clingy type of boyfriend
he always wants to be next to you, every minute of the day
even if it means having your attention on him
he just loves you so much and he wants to show it
but when you get mad or angry at him he is quick to apologise
he usually hugs you or kisses your cheeks
niki is defientely a spam texter i just know it in my bones
if you don't reply in a minute he will calling the ambulnace
hey can we go out please 😋🙏🏼
he is the biggest fan of late night walks
just walking around with his hand in yours makes him the happiest boy alive
dates with niki are usually simple ones where you two enjoy yourselves to the fullest
amusement parks, carnivals, picnics and cafes are your go to spots
he loves to enjoy his time with the person he loves
niki also loves using nicknames
its his favourite thing about being able to date you
he uses cheesy names just so he can get a reaction out of you
"sugar pookie dookie bear, can i have my shirt please?"
he loves seeing your face blush and turn all red
but when he uses them really lovingly aswell
i feel like he would use 'love' because he loves you so much
niki best boyfriend confirmed
© flwrshee
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room-surprise · 3 months
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Hey! Fun question, how do you think an in-canon kabumisu confession would go? People keep portraying mithrun as blunt and straightforward about their relationship, but would he be scared to tell kabru in the chance that he'd say no and leave? Is the desire to just be in a relationship with kabru, or is the desire of not wanting to scare him off greater than that? I'm so starved on the lack of post-canon kabumisu content, they make me go crazy
As usual, I'll try not to go into TOO much detail because then I won't be motivated to write fic about it... and I AM planning to write a post-canon Kabumisu fic anon, so don't worry. I'll get there eventually :3
They make me go crazy too 😔
I think Mithrun's a complicated guy with complicated emotions. Even when he was "empty" in the dungeon he actually showed a lot of feelings - smug satisfaction, annoyance, anger, even a little bit of subtle happiness.
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So while I DO think he will still be blunt in general, I also think it's a mistake to assume that means he doesn't feel things and won't have anxieties and insecurities just like any other person.
Mithrun used to be WILDLY insecure, and jealous, and paranoid. He just stopped caring about anything, but if, like the end of the manga suggests, he is going to try to START caring again, he will then start to have feelings, too.
I think Mithrun is intensely aware of his own "undesirability", that's one of the reasons he's BEEN so depressed. Most of his self-worth before the dungeon hinged on being "better" than his brother, and better than other people. Then he looses that (or maybe he was never actually better at all!), so what does he have left? And now his youth is gone too, he's middle-aged and lost his "best years" to depression. He's disabled, he's scarred, he's a bastard that nobody wants.
It's a pretty huge fall from "most eligible bachelor in the empire"!
So I think no, he won't just bluntly tell Kabru that he likes him. It will take Mithrun awhile to realize how he feels, and once he does, he'll be afraid to reach out, so he's going to do what I call "playing silly little elf games". He's going to try and flirt via writing letters and sending gifts, to hint that he likes Kabru.
Luckily for Mithrun, Kabru also knows how to play Silly Little Elf Games (he's an Olympic champion), so he picks up the signals and starts reciprocating, though he's also uncertain and worried that he's misunderstanding. Captain Mithrun couldn't be flirting with him, could he? But... what if he is?
(I will go into Kabru's feelings at a later date anon i promise.)
I think the thing that will ultimately push Mithrun to act is the fear that he'll miss his chance. Mithrun realizes Kabru is a limited time deal that he can only enjoy for the next 60-something years, and he wants every minute of that time for himself, no matter how much it will someday hurt to lose Kabru.
And he also knows that Kabru is very handsome and charming, and he can't expect Kabru to wait for Mithrun to get himself figured out. Someone else will swoop in and snatch that man up, so Mithrun has to hurry.
ALL OF THAT SAID... I think their confession is a lot less of a confession, and much more "we have both been picking up these signals of interest for months/years, and finally one of us pushes it a little bit further than we've ever pushed it before and we acknowledge the unspoken thing that has been growing between us."
Maybe it's a hand resting on someone's leg, or a gentle touch on the arm. Maybe it's leaning in so their shoulders touch. Maybe it's looking into each other's eyes a little bit longer than normal.
Probably it involves both of them admitting "Spending time with you makes me happier than anything else in the world. Whenever we're apart all I think about is when I'm going to see you again. I spend hours composing letters to you in my mind. I want us to spend our days together, no matter what shape that takes."
It's very vulnerable and scary for both of them, and I think they're both DEEPLY relieved after they finally get it out, and they don't get rejected. They know each other so well, and they're so good at reading people - they both thought that the other might feel the same way, but it's so scary to take that leap of faith and hope that they're right.
And just for the record, I think that Kabru worries about if Mithrun will be interested in sex or not, because sex is something that matters to Kabru, but what if Mithrun just doesn't have any desire for it?
And so before they get into a relationship Kabru has a long hard think about it, and decides that even if they never have sex, he wants to be in a romantic relationship with Mithrun anyway, because just being around him makes him feel happy, and understood, and like he isn't alone anymore. There's someone who sees him as he is, all the good and the bad, and says "I love you anyway."
And Kabru decides that he's willing to just jerk off for the rest of his life if that's the price of this relationship that he wants.
Luckily for Kabru, I think Mithrun does want to have sex with him, but I like to think that Kabru thinks through all the possibilities and decides that no matter what they end up doing together, being with Mithrun is worth it.
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goldenlikedayl1ght · 4 months
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black friday - m. murdock
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a/n: an old work i finished because i decided y'all are owed something cute and fluffy. shoutout to all my girlies who were in codependent relationships for so long that they needed to figure out who they were again after ! as always, reblogs and comments are always appreciated! warnings: lots of fluff, lots of kissing, lots of talks about a bad ex, reader is rather shy at first, cursing probably but it's late and i'm probably forgetting so much im so sorry also a lot of suggestive behavior because they're in love word count: 4.5k summary: you have a list of things to do within a year of living in new york. matt helps you check everything off- oh, and you fall in love with him, too. it's not on the list, but you do it anyways. pairing: matt murdock x fem!reader now playing: black friday - tom odell "i wanna go party/i wanna have fun/wanna be happy/could you show me how it's done?/ you look so pretty/pretty like the sun"
For a long time, you thought you’d never get over your ex.
For a long time, you believed that you were it for each other. You’d go the whole nine yards—Kids, a quaint house in your hometown, Sunday dinners.
And for a long time after he broke up with you, you thought you’d never let yourself love again. How could you? How would you allow yourself to be set up for failure, after letting someone know every part of you?
You had been dating him since high school and had been living with him in your first apartment when he broke it off.
Sometimes, it was amazing, and you were never happier. But most days, it had been full of anger and talking him off the ledge all the time. It was makeup sex after arguments you couldn’t remember now.
So, when he did break up with you, you decided to use it as an excuse to run far, far away from your small town. And you found yourself in Hell’s Kitchen.
You land a job at a small law firm, and at first, you just work as a meek little office assistant.
Nelson, Murdock & Page grew by the day, and for a while, you felt out of place. It wasn’t that you were abused or worked to the bone, you just struggled to make friends, and you weren’t very social while getting over your ex anyways.
So, for about two months, you did your job quietly, laughing quietly at the bickering of your bosses, thanking Karen Page for her advice, enjoying coffee with Foggy Nelson, and of course…
Never muttering a word to Matt Murdock. He was just too intimidating. Besides, you still felt like your ex’s eyes were watching your every move, even thousands of miles away, even now.
Then one night, Foggy couldn’t handle it anymore. So, he approached you quietly at the end of a long workday, with a simple phrase.
“This week’s been crazy, huh? Hey, a few of us are going to the bar tonight, did you want to come?”
What were you supposed to say? ‘No, my ex who I don’t talk to wouldn’t like that?’
Please.
“Oh, Uhm.. I don’t know, who else is going?”
“It’ll be me, my wife, Marci, Karen..” He said.
“Sure, I’ll come.” You smiled, before you could stop yourself.
“Awesome! I’ll send you the address! I’m so glad you’re tagging along!” He grins. You’re thrilled too.
“Me too, it’ll be fun.” He begins to walk away but then he turns back around with a snap of his fingers.
“Oh! And Matt is going!”
Why wouldn’t he tell you that in the first place? Why was your face burning? Why was your heart racing?
“Oh, Great.” You told him, now suddenly conscious of everything about that night.
• • •
At the bar, you wound up ordering a drink before you went over to your friends—Well, Coworkers, you wouldn’t call them friends yet, thanking the woman behind the bar.
Then, you made your way over to them where Foggy was playing his wife in Pool—and losing horribly. So, you sit with Karen and Matt, where there is conveniently one seat available, right between the two.
Karen excitedly said your name as you approach adding a, “I can’t believe you came!” Which, ouch, but, fair.
“Well, Foggy was right, this week’s been awful, so I wanted to relax.” You smiled, sitting with them.
“I’m glad,” she said, before asking, “So, why’d you move to New York?” She knew you weren’t from here, so you figured the question would come up eventually.
“Just needed a change of pace from a small town, you know?”
“I do,” she nodded, “Do you like it here?”
Did you like being alone all the time, feeling like you’re always doing something wrong? Like you should run back to your hometown and beg your ex to marry you?
“Yeah, I love it. It’s so different in a way I wasn’t really prepared for, but it’s great.” You lied.
Matt’s blind. Why did it feel like he has this burning gaze into your skin?
“Did you go to college in your hometown, too?”
“Yeah,” You smile. You loved College. You were an early education major and had even gotten your masters in your small community college. You loved teaching, and if you hadn’t moved, you’d have stayed at the school that hired you after student teaching there. But, when you got to the city, you were unable to find consistent work because the demand for teachers was so high.
So here you were, working as an office assistant for a small law firm.
Karen glanced down to her glass and frowned.
“I’m going to grab another drink, do either of you want anything?”
“I’m good, Karen.”
“No, thank you.”
Silence. Sickening silence.
Then, he spoke.
“Do you know how upset I am that you got your drink already?”
What?
You furrowed your brows, confused.
“I’m sorry?”
“I wanted to buy you a drink, but you beat me to it.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” You repeated, a light blush on your face.
“Well, I figured it might be nice to wipe the slate clean, considering you haven’t spoken more than ten words to me since you started working with us.”
That was true. There’s just something that feels so wrong about it, even though you worked with him,
“I’m sorry,” you said again, and he just laughed.
“You say that a lot.”
“I’m sor—” You caught yourself, clearing your throat. “Why do you say that?”
“Well, you speak to everyone, just not me. So, I listen and I’m pretty sure you apologize more than anything else.”
Your face was beet red.
“Okay, Okay, I get it. I don’t talk a lot, especially not to you. It’s something I’m working on, I have a whole list of things I’m working on.”
That’s true. You had an actual list of goals you have before your first year in New York is up.
“A list?”
“A list.”
“May I?” He asked, and you sighed, pulling out your phone, your list nestled deep into your notes app.
“Apologize less and talk to you is at the top.” You told him. “Then it’s get a job I love,”
“Ouch.”
“Sorry, Boss.” You took a sip of your drink, “Move into a nicer apartment, and uh..” You sighed softly. “Get over my ex.”
He tilts his head.
“Your ex?”
“The reason I moved here. He broke up with me about six months ago, but we were together for so long it feels like an impossible task.”
Matt knows the feeling.
“It’s an easy enough list. We can help you.” He says, “When did you move to New York?”
“May 1st.”
“Okay, then by May of next year, you should have everything accomplished.”
“We?”
“Yeah, I’m gonna help you.”
“Oh, so now it’s you and not all of you?”
Now it’s his turn to blush.
“You’re rather talkative now.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I like it.”
• • •
Talking to Matt is easy, you discover quickly.
It’s the apologizing that gets you.
You’re staying late at the office about a month later, while Hell’s Kitchen is amid a blistering heat wave.
You feel like you might die. You’re editing a closing argument Foggy wants to practice when Matt calls your name gently.
“Can I see you in my office for a second?” He asks. You follow him into his office, not really thinking much of it.
“What’s up?” You ask, sitting in the spare chair in his office as he closes the door behind him, going to the seat at his desk.
“Well, remember that list we talked about?”
“Yeah?”
“I haven’t heard much from you this week.”
That’s true, it’s just been sort of a hectic time with cases piling up. You can only do so much work AND talk to your favorite coworker. Yes, Matt had quickly become your favorite person at the office, even after just a month of really trying to open up to him.
He learned about your ex, your holiday traditions and that you hate peppermint.
You learned about his parents, his favorite dessert, and that he dresses up every night to go fight the criminals of New York.
Okay, you technically weren’t supposed to learn that, but you had stopped by his apartment early to drop off a file you were working on, and he had just crawled home and was still in his suit when he answered the door, forgetting completely that you didn’t know.
So now You knew how he was able to tell that you lied to Karen that night at the bar.
“I’m—” You start to apologize, but then you stop yourself. “I’m not sorry, I’ve been busy and so have you, but I do miss talking to you, though I am not sorry.” You say, and he grins.
“That’s my girl.”
Huh.
Your stomach swirls and you beam at the praise.
Wait, what?
You brush it off, before asking,
“Does Daredevil still come out to play even though it’s a hundred degrees out?”
“Will you have your window open with a few bottles of water open for me?”
“Always.”
“Then yes.”
Talking to Matt is rather easy. You have a feeling that soon the apologizing will follow.
• • •
October is the month of figuring out what you want to do with your life.
Sure, you love working in the office, but you are going crazy. You’re under stimulated and the hours are consistently long.
So, you try a lot of things.
You bake, you cook, you take exams, you work tirelessly to try and figure out where you want to work and where you’ll be happiest.
You try doing hair but find yourself uninspired.
You think you might like being a nursing assistant but turns out, you don’t like blood.
But part of you knows your heart isn’t in it, for two reasons.  
For one, you want to teach. You want to be teaching young kids’ addition and their spelling and stars. You desperately want to be a great influence in their lives.
And the second thing is..
You don’t want to leave your coworkers.
You love spending time with Karen and Foggy. For a long time, you didn’t have friends outside of your relationship, and they are the best friends you’ve ever had.
Foggy spends long coffee breaks cracking jokes with you and asking for your sandwich order, telling you that you have to stop by his brother’s deli for one of his signature subs. Then he tells you this long-winded story about how his mother wanted him to be a butcher, not a lawyer.
Karen is your favorite girl. She’s not only drop dead gorgeous and ridiculously smart, but she is also kind like no one you have ever met. She texts you when you forget to let her know you’ve gotten home safe, there is always a coffee on your desk when you get there and for your birthday, flowers are on your desk, scribbled with a cute note in her handwriting.
And then, there’s Matt.
He’s your best friend and knows you better than anyone. He loves having you right in the office where he can hear your heartbeat and smell your vanilla coconut perfume. He tells you about his dad and you tell him about your folks.
He knows your Chinese and Thai food orders like the back of his hand, always ordering you some when he gets his. You describe the movies you’re watching in detail, and he hangs on to every word. There is no one who sees you more than him, and he’s quite literally blind. When you tell him about your dream to go back into teaching, he encourages it.
“When I was a kid, I’d have benefited so much from someone like you.”
He asks you to do his makeup for his Halloween costume, no matter how badly it irritates his skin. He likes the idea of your hands so close to his face.
But you’re both critically aware of how, not only is the market flooded, but you’re dreading the day you leave your little office job.
So many people have asked if the two of you are dating. And you both always laugh, because.. because you just love each other in a way that you can’t describe. But no, you’ve never thought about dating Matt Murdock.
Until this one day.
It’s like any other day, really. You have your friends cramped in your tiny apartment and you’re just waiting for Matt’s arrival before you eat dinner for the night.
Karen, Foggy and Marci sit at your little table as you finish cooking, and Marci just glances over to you.
“You need to move to a better apartment.”
“I know, I know,” you laugh, “But she’s so cozy! I love it here!” It was, and is, all you could afford, but you grew to love it.
“Yeah, and I love having leg room.” Foggy chimes.
“You know what, Nelson? You could just, pay me more so I could move somewhere nicer?”
“Touche.” There’s a knock on the door, so you grin and head over there, opening the door for Matt.
And you need to take a second.
He’s holding your favorite bottle of wine, and he’s in these nice dark jeans and a gray sweater under his peacoat.
This thought strikes you.
This thing you thought you’d never feel again after your ex.
Matt Murdock is hot, and you have got to have him.
This is it. The thing you can’t deny any longer. You have a massive crush on the devil that disguises himself as your favorite person. To you, he is an angel.
“Hey,” you say breathily, as if you have it out for yourself. Surely he’ll know. “You didn’t have to bring wine.” You told him, a soft smile on your face.
He steps inside as you take the wine, leaning in to kiss your cheek gently, something he has found himself doing every time he enters your apartment. It’s your routine.  He loves this aspect of your dynamic because he has known that he’s wanted you for months. You’ve just been so caught up in everything that you didn’t see it.
“It’s no trouble, thank you for having us,” he says gently.
So this is it.
You just can’t deny it.
You have a massive crush on Matt Murdock, and there isn’t a thing you could do about it. Except maybe kiss him. But for that night, you just kind of relax and pretend you’re already dating him. That’s something you haven’t done in a long time.
You’re beginning to feel like yourself again.
• • •
Nelson Family Christmas celebrations are something of legend for you. For months you’ve heard about it, and you’re on your way to the deli with a handful of presents and two trays of cookies.
You’ve decided that just once, you want a holiday away from your family. Truth be told, you really don’t want to spend your holiday without your best friends.
You have on this stunning outfit—A red sweater, a black skirt and these warm black stockings. Boots to die for.
You know Matt can’t see your outfit, but that doesn’t stop you from wanting to dress up for him. It’s weird. This crush thing has been getting out of control.
You’re greeted at the door of the Deli with a crowd full of blonde-haired New York Irish-Italians, and they’re all lovely. You put your presents down and place your cookies on the dessert table. And you love Foggy’s family. They ask you questions constantly, and Foggy’s sister-in-law talks to you for a while about her career in the local high school system.
It’s a joy to meet so many people so full of love.
So, you go over to Foggy as he’s yapping and say gently, “Hey, where’s Matt?”
He grins.
“Why do you want to go kiss him under the mistletoe?” He teases. Your face goes red.
“Shut up! Where is he, Franklin?” You glare and he laughs, patting your arm.
“Upstairs in the hallway.” He says, and as you walk away he calls, “Go get ‘em, Tiger!” You glare and grab a cookie on your way up.
And you find him, standing in a quiet corner of the hallway. You go to open your mouth and he turns to you.
“Merry Christmas,” he leans forward and kisses your cheek.
“Merry Christmas, Matty.” You hum. “Guess what type of cookie I have.”
He sniffs the air and shakes his head. “Give me a taste and I’ll guess.” You hand him the cookie and he put it in his mouth halfway, raising his eyebrows to you.
“What?”
He gestures to the cookie in his mouth, and you laugh, realizing that he wants you to bite the other end, ala Lady and the Tramp. So you lean forward and take a bite, and he eats the rest, inches separating your face as you enjoy your treat.
People chatter down the hallway and Christmas music plays from somewhere. There are so many different foods and people, and all Matt can focus on is the vanilla coconut scent of your perfume. When you’re both finished eating your cookie, his hands find your waist.
“Matt, what are you—”
You don’t get the chance to finish because suddenly he is kissing you in the dark hallway of your friend’s family Christmas party. The kiss is wonderful. He tastes of the cookie you two shared. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever experienced.
You need more kissing practice because it’s been so long. But you get the feeling that Matt won’t mind helping you out if this is another thing you want to add to your list.
When he pulls away, he’s a bit breathless but he says one thing to you.
“Chocolate chip peanut butter.”
“What?”
“That’s my guess for the cookie type.”
“Wanna kiss me again to confirm?” He grins and his hands travel down, just slightly to feel the materials of your skirt.
“That’s my girl.”
• • •
The next two months fly by in a whirl of kissing Matt, trying to find a teaching job and enjoying your first real winter in New York.
By the time March rolls around, the clock is ticking for you to be able to find a job in this school year. And then, Foggy and Matt get you the best gift ever.
“Mrs. Future Murdock,” You send Foggy a glare.
“Watch it.”
“Okay, listen—You remember that rich guy that was wrongfully accused of tax evasion?”
“Yeah, why?” You’re cleaning up your office space for the weekend, excited to go to Josie’s, have a few drinks and unwind with your very handsome boyfriend.
“Well, he’s a super intendent for a large school district in Hell’s Kitchen.” Your head snaps up to the two.
“What does that mean for me?” You raise an eyebrow.
“There’s an older teacher there who needed to have surgery and we thought, hey, we know a teacher who could sub in.”
“…Who?”
“You.” Matt says, and you grin. “Your interview is Monday.”
You gasp and hug Foggy quickly, before making your way over to Matt.
“You are the absolute best.” You kiss him quickly and his hands, as they often do, find themselves on your hips. “Thank you.”
What a lovely lovely man.
“Don’t thank us yet, you still need to get the job.” Right.
Your night at Josie’s is lovely but you spend the rest of your weekend prepping for the interview on Monday. It goes well, but something in you is telling you to stay anxious. Why? You have no idea.
It takes two weeks for them to get back to you. But you walk into the office of Nelson, Murdock & Page with a big grin. You walk right into Matt’s office, who glances up to you when you walk in, your heart racing.
“Hey, Sweetheart, I—” He cuts himself off when you walk right up to his desk and pull his chair out before finding yourself on Matt’s lap.  Your arms wrap around his neck and his arms find your waist. Before he can say much else, you kiss him quickly, and he grins into the kiss. Eventually, when you do pull away, Matt asks, “Everything okay?”
“Matty, consider this to be my two weeks’ notice.”
He gasps happily.
“Oh my god! How awful it is that you’re leaving us!” He grins, kissing you quickly. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you for getting me the interview.” You tell him, “You know if I do well, the teacher might let me coteach with her next year.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Our list is almost done, baby.”
“Your list, not ours.”
“Yeah but you’ve been helping so much.”
“You’re easy to help.”
“You’re easy to love.”
He blushes and decides to kiss his girl again.
• • •
 So, in April, a month before your year is up, you find yourself needing a new apartment. The rent is getting crazy, and it’s nowhere near the school you’re working in. Especially considering that the teacher you’re subbing for decided she wanted to retire so you’d be taking over for her full time come Fall.
Plus, your apartment is small and cramped, especially with Matt’s stuff slowly invading your place. You discuss this with him one night. It’s late and he’s covered in cuts from his Daredeviling.
“I hate apartment hunting.” You whine, and he hums, kissing your head gently. “Nowhere is good enough. Too far from the school, too far from you, too expensive.” You complain.
“Why don’t you move in here?”
Huh. Why hadn’t you thought of that? Was it too quick to be moving in with him at this point? Maybe, but something told you Matt wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
“Really?”
He grins.
“Really. It’s close to the school, a good price, and rather close to me.” You grin and kiss him softly. It’s your favorite habit.
So, two weeks later, you’re hauling boxes into your boyfriend’s apartment. You take a few drawers of his dresser and some of your nicer outfits find their way into his armoire. Your mugs sit comfortably next to his in his cabinets. Your cabinets.
Your throw blanket is draped comfortably across his couch, and your shoes lay next to his.
Your lotion sits next to his first aid kit. You love dating Matt Murdock.
You love that next month will be one year since you moved to New York, and your life is sort of coming together. Glorious Matthew Murdock is your boyfriend. Your job is amazing. Your apartment is wonderful. Matt Murdock is your boyfriend, and he is amazing at kissing you.
• • •
So, Matt knows May is your year since moving to New York. He knows you guys could go to Josie’s and have a normal old time at the bar…
But he wants to do something special for you. So, he asks Foggy, Marci and Karen to get dressed up and go to a bar on the nicer side of town. Not that you don’t love Josie’s but your one year in New York calls for a special occasion.
You decide to wear a nice satin dress and he loves running his hands over the soft fabric. To Mat, you are perfect in every way, and every day he falls deeper and deeper in love with you.
So on a warm May night in Hell’s Kitchen, you sit in a bougie bar with your best friends, boyfriend and enjoy a year since you moved to this wonderful place you now call home. And a year and four months since your ex broke up with you. Truly, for a long time, you thought you’d never get over him.
Now, Matt is all you see.
At some point, a little tipsy, you kiss Matt’s cheek gently and tell him you’re going to grab another drink.
“Do you want anything?” You ask softly.
“Just for you to come back soon. I’ll miss you.” Oh, Tipsy Matt was your favorite.
“Okay, I’ll be right back.” You kiss him quick and head off to the bar. You order another drink and wait patiently, taking in just how happy you are in this moment.
Then, a familiar voice calls your name, and you glance over and you can’t believe it.
Your ex-boyfriend is right in front of you, and for a moment, you convince yourself you must be drunker than you realized.
“Wow, you look fantastic!” He says a grin on his face. Was… Was your ex ever… attractive? You can’t remember if he ever was. Especially not since dating Matt.
“Oh, Thanks..” You smile softly, trying to be polite but to get out of here quickly and get back to the arms of your loving boyfriend.
“Are you here with anyone?”
“Yeah.” You told him. “Some of my good friends, and—”
“So, you’re not seeing anyone?” You furrow your eyebrows. When did you say that?
Then, there’s an arm around your waist, and you know whose it is in an instant.
“Hey, Sweetheart.. Is everything okay?” Matt asks, smiling to you. Oh, he knows. He knows big time.
“Everything is great.” You turn to your ex and grin. “This is Matt, He’s my—”
“Fiancé.” Matt ends.
Fiancé?
“Fiancé?” Your ex asks, bewildered.
“Mhm. Got engaged a few days ago, that’s what we’re here celebrating.” You said gently, leaning your head against Matt’s arm.
“Engaged, but you’ve only been here for a year!”
“Well, I wasn’t about to wait around for you to ask me to date you again.” You glance over to Matt. “Besides, when you know you know.” You say softly.
Matt leans in and kisses you gently, “When you know, you know.” He echoes.
Your ex is wildly uncomfortable.
“I thought you said you’d always love me.” He says, and he has that intimidating tone to his voice that you hate.
“Yeah… Me too.. Guess I was wrong. You have a nice night, Okay?” You smile and take your drink, turning to head back to your friends. Your ex is bummed out but leaves you alone, and Matt grins to you further.
“When you know you know.” He hums.
“Fiancé..” You echo. He shrugs gently.
“I like the sound of it.”
“Me too.” You say gently. “I love you.”
“I love you, Sweetheart.” He kisses your cheek. “So… A year in New York.”
“Yup. My list is all done.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I talk to you all the time, and I don’t apologize unless it’s necessary. I love teaching and my job. My apartment is stellar, and… I think it’s safe to say I am over my ex. I upgraded. In fact, my upgrade is so much hotter than anyone else I know.”
Matt leans in to kiss you, a grin on his face, but he mutters a soft, “That’s my girl,” Before he does.
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beatrixstonehill2 · 5 months
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"I'm so happy to see my daughter, Marissa, finally embrace her full potential! Her father and I were worried for a while there. She was fiercely independent, athletic, never went out and had fun. Twenty, with zero kids! We felt like we had to make excuses for her at family functions. Why our beautiful girl was out hiking mountains and rock climbing instead of pushing out six kids at once!
Well, I talked to some moms on this parental support group for girls refusing to become breeders and figured out the issue! She visited us and we talked her into staying at our place for a month while she was waiting for her engineering classes to start back up. We slipped a few things in her tea: fertility drugs that give a huge boost to libido, and IQ-reducing drugs. Turns out Marissa's independence was to blame on her high IQ and low sex drive!
Within a few days we noticed the effects. She was fanning herself at the dining room table waiting for breakfast. She humped her chair. Her father and I were giddy by the quick results. We noticed she at seconds and wanted more. Evidently she was trying to quell her libido with food, and we happily obliged. I always wanted a fat, spoiled daughter! Casually we mentioned she should go out jogging, 'maybe meet some cute guys'. She looked flushed, and agreed, sporting the biggest food baby we've ever seen on her, Marissa went out jogging..... and came back three hours later with a pussy full of cum.
The results were unbelievable. We continued her medication, convincing her to stay longer and do classes online because she was pregnant (with triplets!). Marissa's willpower decayed. She soon started snacking and overeating constantly. She drank beer with her dad, smoked cigarettes with me, and smoked weed in her room, as she stuffed her face and masturbated. She started playing with herself constantly, even in public. We knew the IQ-lowering drugs were working incredibly well when we all went out one day, she was eight months along and saw a group of guys playing basketball. With us right there, she casually asked them if they wanted to fuck her. We were shocked, and let Marissa go have her fun.
Fast forward to now, with this pic I took of our beautiful new Marissa, carrying sextuplets. She tips the scale at about 300lbs and doesn't think for a second she needs to slow down her appetite or lose a pound. She shakes her fat ass in front of the camera and giggles. She smacks her flabby thighs, rubs her hips and belly, admires her fuller cheeks and double chin. I think she likes being fat, and we couldn't be happier! This is her third pregnancy--after triplets, quintuplets, and now sextuplets, hopefully her pregnancies will only get bigger, as her ass does.... We contacted her college and found out she had a whopping 168 IQ. Now she scores at a 55 on a good day. Oops, might've overdone it, but if it means our Marissa is constantly horny, filled to the brim with babies, and stuffing her face, then I'd say it was worth the loss!"
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iheartjameshetfield · 6 months
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Having kids with early/mid 80’s James 🤭
like yeah he’s young but there’s nothing that makes happier than his little family 💗
AHHH THIS IS SO SWEETTTTT
we all know damn well that the kid would be an accident 💀. he was fucking petrified when you told him the news since he was almost 1000% sure that he would fuck this kid up the same way his dad fucked him up.
you tried to reassure him multiple times throughout your pregnancy that he would be the best father there is, and you’d be there to help him, but he had no trust in himself whatsoever. the only thing that he knew for sure was. that no matter how hard it gets, he would never leave and put you and your kid through the same thing he went through.
even with all this, he was still the best person to have by your side during your pregnancy. he always tried to make sure that you’re comfortable, placing a pillow behind your back, head, and legs or he’d cover you with a blanket. he would get you whatever you’re craving, and if it wasn’t in the house, he would go and get it from the supermarket no matter the time.
he would constantly read books about parenting and pregnancy, making sure you get the best treatment. whenever you’d pat your belly, he’d get worried that you pat a little harder than you should, telling you to be more careful.
i feel like he would be the type of person to talk to your unborn child, like whenever he disagrees with you or just saying smth sweet to the baby like “we can’t wait to see you” or “see that? your mom wants to name you paul” he laughs as he makes fun of you with the baby.
when the child is born, hes definitely the type of dad to force everyone to wash the hands, wipes, and sanitize at least three times each before letting anyone touch the baby, including you.
for the first month or so after you give birth, he would always be the one to get up in the middle of the night for the baby, telling you to get your rest. after a while, he is literally prepared to play rock paper scissors with you at 3 in the morning to see who’ll get up.
you know that trick that almost every dad does when they toss their kid like 5 feet up in the air and catch them, giving all the moms a heart attack? yeah, he invented that trick. you’ve probably seen your baby in the air more than you’ve seen it in someone’s arms or the stroller or smth.
i truly believe that when the baby babbles, he babbles back. like the baby would say smth in gibberish and james would mimic the baby, conversing in their own language. or james would also respond with stuff like an exaggerated “no way!!” or “what else happened, tell me more”
he probably would’ve been rooting for a boy. he would be sooooooo excited if you had a boy, already planning on causing a lot of mischief with him.
he would teach his son how to play sports and guitar and all the stuff he’s interested in. james would race him and play wrestling games with him and pretend to lose.
even though he wanted a boy, when his little girl came, he would instantly change his mind, hoping that every future kid that comes would be a girl.
from day one and he would shower her with kisses and gifts, making sure she gets treated like the princess she is.
james definitely has tea parties with his little girl. he’d let her put hair clips in his hair, paint his nails a messy pink and accessories him in plastic beaded necklaces and bracelets. or whenever they’d play with dolls, he would speak in a high pitched voice like a girl’s voice after his daughter would force him to.
james would show up at every ballet practice and recital ever, refusing to not show up at a single thing. he would pick her up and drop her off at her practices, loving how his little girl comes running to him with open arms during every break she has. he’ll never miss the look his daughter had in her face when she spotted her parents in the crowd during her show, her eyes glinting as her smile brightened.
when she’s done with her dance, she’d leap into her father’s arms, you and james cradling her in a hug. “you were amazing princess. that was awesome!!” james would compliment her.
i feel like no matter what gender the baby is, they would want to be just like their dad in every way. the long hair, the band shirts, his guitar skills. whenever you see james around the house, you’d spot his little carbon copy waddling behind him in a custom ‘Metallica’ shirt and sunglasses that practically swallow your baby’s face.
when his kid is a little older, he’d want you to bring them to one of his shows, wanting his kid to see him on stage. he’d even show off his toddler to the crowd, showing off the newest member of the hetfield clan to the world.
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this is me speaking off of real experiences btw
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feelingf1 · 8 months
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just friends, right? - oscar piastri
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pairing: oscar piastri x female!reader
summary: you and oscar are best friends, and that’s the way it will always be. until one night there’s a moment between you. and nobody’s sure what you are now
slight nsfw?? just a French-kiss💋
enjoy <33
—————
You hated this event.
You didn’t usually, but this event was killing you. It was supposedly a ‘party to celebrate the end of the season’ but it definitely wasn’t. There was paparazzi and interviewers everywhere, bombarding you with questions.
“So, Y/N. Finishing P20 in the drivers championship. Not exactly something to be proud of, huh?”
You felt taken aback by the rudeness. In your defense, you were a rookie in a Williams.
You laughed, trying to hide your anger. “I mean, at least the only way is up right?” You said jokingly, but the interviewer didn’t find it funny.
“You’re at risk of losing your seat with that attidtude.” He replied.
Wow. Extremely rude.
You rubbed the back of your neck. This couldn’t be more awkward. “Uh-”
The interviewer cut you off quickly. “Sorry, have to get a word in with the world champion.” He said, before running off.
You rolled your eyes. Although you loved racing, you couldn’t wait for this season to end so you could stop hearing about your P20 disappointment.
You made your way into the dining room where the drinks were flowing and the music was buzzing. This was more of the party that you were looking forward to.
You headed to the bar, ordering a vodka coke, before pulling out your phone.
osCAR🏎️
dude where the hell are you???
You searched the room looking for Oscar, but with no success. You chatted with the other drivers, laughing and joking, until Oscar texted you back.
osCAR🏎️
Sorry! Traffic was mental. I’m over by the barstools :)
You smiled when you saw the text. Oscar was your best friend, the light of your life. You two were nearly inseparable for the 15 years you had known eachother. You loved Oscar, as a friend, of course.
Lando noticed you smiling at your phone. “Texting the boyfriend?” He asked.
You laughed, “You know well I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m texting Osc.”
Lando smiled. “Ah, so you are texting the boyfriend.”
You knew straight away that Lando had a couple of drinks on him. Sober Lando was not as cheeky and fun as this.
“Explain yourself Norris.” You demanded.
Lando leaned over the high table the two of you were standing at. “Y/N, it’s so obvious how in love the two of you are. Friends don’t look at each other the way you guys do.”
For the second time this night, you were taken aback. Feelings for Oscar? No way. He was your best friend.
“Lando, no. Oscar is my best friend. You know that. Now stop messing.”
Lando shook his head. “Oh believe me, I’m definitely not the only person that thinks this.” He said, before walking away.
What the hell?
You shrugged your shoulders, blaming Lando’s intoxication, and went to find Oscar. It didn’t take you long to spot him by the bar, as you threw your arms around him into a huge hug.
The two of you started chatting immediately, like always. Until the music started playing some classic dance tunes, and you dragged him to the dance floor.
“Don’t make me do this Y/N.” He shouted over the music.
“You have no choice Piastri.”
You led him into the middle as the two of you started dancing, without a care in the world. You didn’t think that you had ever been happier than in this moment. The atmosphere, the music, Oscar, everything made it perfect.
Oscar grabbed your hand, spinning you around, and then he pulled you towards him.
The music stopped.
Or at least it felt like it did.
You and Oscar gazed at each other, like it was just the two of you, like you weren’t at a party with so many people you could barely breathe. You gazed at each other in a way that friends definitely don’t.
Maybe Lando was right.
No. There was no “maybe” about it. He was right.
You were about to speak, to confess how you felt, when you were tapped on the shoulder.
“Y/N, interview for Sports News UK?”
The moment had ended, the music was loud, it was hard to breathe.
And who the hell let interviewers into the party?
“Uh, no not right now, sorry.” You apologized, you couldn’t deal with any more people attacking you for your racing.
Oscar saw how uncomfortable you were, and he took over.
“Mate, Max Verstappen is over in that corner, dying for an interview.” He pointed towards a corner where Max definitely wasn’t, and the interviewer headed off.
You felt nervous as you went to thank Oscar. You had never felt nervous around him. Ever.
“Uh, thanks. Thanks for that.” You said, trying desperately not to trip over your words.
“Not a problem.” Oscar smiled back. He leaned down into your ear to whisper something.
You nearly got distracted from how nice it felt, his hot breathe beating off your soft skin. You loved it.
“Want to find an empty conference room and get away from this madness? I have a bottle of vodka with me.”
You nodded frantically and Oscar pulled your hand out of the dining room and and the two of you ran down the hall until you found an empty conference room.
You locked the door and sat up on the table with Oscar. He opened his suit and he revealed how he had hidden a bottle of vodka in the inside pocket.
You laughed at him. “How the hell did you manage to sneak that in?”
Oscar laughed with you. “Mom wasn’t the biggest fan of me drinking when I was younger, so I had to figure something out for when I went to parties.”
He opened the bottle and took a sip, his face scrunching up with the strength of the alcohol, before passing the bottle to you and you took a sip.
You grabbed your phone and started playing some iconic 2000’s music. “We can have our own party.” You smiled, looking at him.
The two of you were silent. But it was a comfortable silence, as your heads bopped along in time with the music.
“Thanks for getting me away from that interviewer. They have been breathing down my neck all night.” You laughed, leaning into his shoulder.
“Really?”
“Yeah, told me that I was a disappointment and that I should be aware of losing my seat if I keep joking.”
Oscar’s head whipped around. He hopped off the table, you sighing as you lost your body to lean on. He stood in front of you, putting his hands on the table, either side of your hip, as he stood between your legs.
“Y/N, I am so proud of you and everything you’ve done. You have achieved your dream, despite all the bullshit you’ve had to put up with as a woman. You deserve a better car, you deserve a championship.”
You didn’t know what came over you, but you grabbed Oscar’s face, pulling him towards you, and you kissed him.
His hands remained on the table for a few minutes before he grabbed your hair, deepening the kiss. After a minute, the two of you put your foreheads together, breathing quickly.
After Oscar didn’t say anything, you started to panic.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I did that or-”
This time, Oscar initiated the kiss, cupping your cheeks and hair. His tongue was begging for entry into your mouth, which you granted him immediately.
You melted into his touch. He was so gentle holding you, like you were a piece of glass that could shatter at any moment.
Oscar pulled away, still cupping your cheeks, gazing at you lovingly.
“So I guess we’re a bit more than friends now, right?” He said laughing.
You placed your hand over his, smiling.
“Definitely.”
—————
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reimeichan · 21 days
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There's a weird sort of sadness to being the version of me who holds so much of the joy and happiness in the system. I remember a lot of the good times from our childhood and so many of the happy memories from back then. How I used to play card games with my parents, or the birthday parties I had with my friends, or the fun field trips, and so much else. But then I turn and look at the other versions of me, full of anger and anxiety thanks all the horrible things I went through as a child. Things that I barely remember, or only know because I was told about those things and yet feel zero emotional connection to them because it doesn't feel like I went through them. But I know I did, because why else do these other versions of me exist who cry themselves to sleep and who lash out at the people around us?
I want to share these happier memories with them, but they seem so scared of these happy memories. I think... they feel like they don't deserve these memories. Or that remembering the happy times somehow devalues all the pain we went through. But it makes me so sad to see them constantly hurt by our past, I want to give them something kind and nice and beautiful. And I guess I also want to be less lonely in my own head, to have someone who can reminisce about the happier times and the good moments, not just lament about the bad times.
I dunno, I respect that our childhood was absolutely godawful... but there were good moments, too. Good moments that I don't want to lose and to forget, because they're important to me.
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gojolatte · 15 days
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❝ 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ❞ ‣ 𝐊. 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈
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❝synopsis❞ ‣ nanami kento, a man of little words. a man who keeps to himself. a man who doesn't have crushes. well, he didn't until he saw you waltz through the door without a care in the world. he wants to learn more about you, finds himself wishing there was a way he could connect with you.
・❥・PAIRING(S) › nanami kento x female!reader ・❥・GENRE(S) › fluff/(little)angst ・❥・WORD(S) › 1.7k+ ・❥・WARNING(S) › infidelity (disguised as a open relationship), reader has a girlfriend, pan!reader, sunshine!reader, and just nanami being down bad. ・❥・POST DATE › 04.13.24 ・❥・SONG PLAYING › never be the same by camila cabello ・❥・A/N › nothing really, I'm so down bad for Nanami though and I stand on the hill that he deserved better, gege! So I'm going to give him better lol. anyway, enjoy!
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୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who sees you for the first time when he’s leaving to pick up his lunch. He notes you’re delivering food but in ‘civilian’ clothes. (Some short shorts, an off-the-shoulder tee, and gladiator sandals) so he knows you don’t belong to a company. So maybe Doordash? UberEats? He doesn’t know but the moment you smile at him, he knows he’s a goner.
Have you ever seen a grown man blush? No? Well, you waltz right by him without a care in the world as his cheeks heat up like he’s cooking in a sauna.
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who can’t stop thinking about you. He wonders who you are, where you’ve been his whole life, and how he can find you. He wants to get to know you (if you’ll let him of course). 
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who eventually stops leaving to get food and instead orders through DoorDash, UberEats, and any other app he knows of in hopes of being able to see you again. Yes, it costs more but he honestly doesn’t care. Is it dumb?
Probably, but what else does he have to lose? 
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who promises he’s not stalking you, he only wants to talk to you! (Is what he tells himself to make himself feel better) because who goes through all this trouble to converse with someone? Honestly... Nanami Kento apparently (ha).
And well, it takes about two weeks for you to walk through the doors again and Nanami couldn’t be happier. Until he realizes you’re not carrying the food he ordered. You’re carrying someone else's. That doesn’t stop him from talking to you though.
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who finally gets you as his delivery woman a couple of days later. Excitement buzzes as he bows and thanks you. You mention you've never delivered to him before but he tells you he's growing too busy to head out for lunch. 
Simple explanation, right? 
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTOwho continues using UberEats when you tell him it lets you keep most of the money you earned for the day. He ends up finding himself ordering lunch every day, just in the off chance he gets to see you again.
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who loves making small talk with you whenever he does get to see you. Asking how your day is going, and what you have planned for the day. As you talk about taking your niece to the park, the spark in your eyes makes him smile from ear to ear. 
He knows he's down bad. 
You're simply being nice but damn, you don't understand how much he's yearning for you.
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who decides on week four to try his luck and ask you on a date after so long of chatting. He’s even bought you a single red rose as he sees you walk through the rotating door. He can't help the smile that takes over as you skip his way, nerves on a hundred at the thought of even asking you out.
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who takes you to the side and away from everyone because what if you do reject him? He won’t be able to handle his colleagues making fun of him (not about this).
That would be embarrassing.
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who’s day has a rain cloud washed over it when you tell him you’re flattered but are in a relationship (a girlfriend to be specific). Of course, he apologizes for overstepping as you try your best to cheer him up but it's no use.  
“If you weren't with your girlfriend would you have gone?” Nanami asks, still handing you the red rose. You try to hand it back to him but it's no use, shaking his head as if to tell you he doesn't want it. His eyes are downcast. You feel bad and don’t want to pour more salt into the wound. “I think you're amazing. You're nice to me unlike some of the people-” “Just… Yes or no?” Nanami sighs, not wanting to hear excuses. It's a simple answer. “Yes. I would have.” Your smile breaks his heart even more.
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who stops ordering through the app, decides to get food from his workplace cafeteria instead or if he wants to eat out, he goes back to going to the restaurants. He's not mad at the revelation, just the outcome. 
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who still sees you from time to time when you deliver for his colleagues. He sees you scan the given badge for people who deliver and moving through the building without a care in the world. It’s not your fault he developed a crush on you, he just hates that you’re not emotionally available, at the moment.
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who knows he doesn’t have the right to feel the way he does but he can’t help it. He allowed himself to get his hopes up only for them to be crushed in the end. Of course, you have a significant other. Someone as beautiful and kind-hearted as you. He can’t think of a reason for someone not to take a liking to you.
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who tries to come to terms with the outcome of the situation but fails miserably. 
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who doesn’t see you again for a while. Maybe you stopped delivering? He hopes nothing bad has happened! Although, he’s also glad you’ve (unknowingly) given him a reprieve from his feelings for you.
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who sees you one random morning (almost a month later) while going on a coffee run for some of his colleagues. You don’t look as cheery as you usually would and it makes him wonder why. Although, he knows it’s not in his place to ask. It’s not like you consider him a friend. You’ve only made small talk in passing and had one failed attempt at asking you out.
That’s hardly a friend.
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who planned to leave you alone until he heard you faintly call his name. He doesn’t have the heart to ignore you so he smiles and tries to school his expressions. You ask him how he has been since the last time you saw each other and he’s trying so hard not to make it noticeable but he feels as if his heart has stopped the moment you acknowledged him. 
All he can do is gaze at you (lovingly) while you’re talking his ear off. He doesn’t mind though, you’re too cute for your own good. 
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who steers the topic toward your girlfriend and finds out you’re (unfortunately) still with her. His heart plummeted. He hoped he had a chance but when you reveal she asked you to open your relationship, it left Nanami confused but intrigued. 
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who realizes sees some people waving you down as they try to get your attention.  He doesn’t want to leave the conversation like this but he also has somewhere he needs to be too. 
It isn’t until you ask him for his number that he knocks the shock from his body.
Of course, you can have his number, sweetheart!
And of course, he calls himself so he doesn’t have to wait for you to text or call him first for him to have it.
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who leaves the coffee shop in a hurry because ‘oh shit the meeting started twenty minutes ago!’ but immediately texts you an apology once he gets to the office for having to rush out! He wanted to stay and continue chatting but it was an important meeting for an important client.
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who is in his meeting now but doesn't truly listen to what's happening because you're texting him! His stomach is doing knots as the conversation goes on and eventually, the topic of your girlfriend comes up again and Nanami wants to say something but he doesn’t know how you’ll take it. So he decided against it. 
[02:36pm] Princess🌸: I don’t know why she wanted to open the relationship😔
Is all you say but Nanami has a feeling that it wasn’t what you wanted it and it doesn’t stop him from asking.
[02:45pm] Ken🎔: Is that not what you want?
You don’t answer back and it leaves Nanami to realize that maybe he overstepped his boundaries. Shit! Maybe he shouldn’t have asked…
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who is home now and washing dishes when he hears his phone chime from his living room. He’s hoping it’s you (and knowing it is because who else is texting him?). He wants to apologize for yesterday. He realizes it’s not in his place to ask about your love life like that. You’re still getting to know each other. He doesn’t have the right. 
Also, his mind was reeling at the possibility of you blocking him or not talking to him anymore. 
Especially when he hasn’t even had a chance to take you out.
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who answers your call a second too fast when his phone rings but he doesn’t care. You sound distraught. He can hear the sniffling and the hiccuping as he inquires what’s bothering you. Consoling you when you tell him how your girlfriend has been blowing you off for someone else. You had an inkling she was cheating before you were guilted into agreeing to open the relationship.
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who feels so bad that he’s happy it’s not working out with her. 
He knows it will probably take time but he’s willing to wait until you’re ready to start anew. Or hell, he’s ready to be whatever you need him to be right now.
A friend. A lover. A confidant.
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who gets you to calm down enough to fall asleep. 
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who stays on the phone until it’s close to midnight. He notes he has to work in the morning, reluctantly hanging up when he can hear your soft snores.
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who tries to fall asleep too but generally can’t. He finds himself lying down and staring at the ceiling and thinking.
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who doesn’t register his phone going off until it lights up causing him to look at it. 
[01:16pm] Princess🌸: I know this forward [01:20pm] Princess🌸: Can I call you again?
Nanami wastes no time in calling you instead. Unsure of what's wrong, he hopes nothing bad has happened in the short time after he hung up. The phone rings about two more times as you pick it up on the third.
"I-I'm sorry to bother you again so late at night..." He hates that you sound so tired and unsure.
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who listens to you stumbling over your words as you sound so much different from when he first met you. He wonders what has you so jittery?
"Are you okay, sweeth-" "N-No." He hears you whimper, hiccupping as you try to find your voice again. "Is that why you're up again? I thought you fell asleep?" "I-I did... I just-" You pause the moment you hear a faint moan from the other room. "S-She’s here with someone and I don’t want to be here. Could I possibly crash at yours? It’s just for the night! Just until I figure out something-"
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who heart skips a beat at the thought of you spending the night at his place. He shouldn't be this happy. You're miserable, he knows this- he can hear it in your voice but damn, why was everything happening in his favor?
"K-Kento?"
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who loves the way his name falls from your lips with the whine that accompanies it. He shouldn't be feeling this way when you're stuck in a endless loop of misery right now.
"I'm here." Nanami smiles, he's sure you can hear it in his voice. "You can crash at my place for as long as you need, Honey."
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who knows you barely know each other but that won't stop him. You can get to know each other while you're with him.
"A-Are you sure? I don't want to intrude in your space... I’ll figure something else out if it's a-" "It's not a problem. Do I need to come get you?" "Please..." "Okay. Is there somewhere you can go until I get there? Text me your address."
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who hears shuffling on your end, knowing you're throwing things into bag as he's throwing on some sweats and t-shirt on, grabbing his keys and wallet off the table. He gets your text minutes later and starts off on his way to get to you.
୨୧───CORPORATE MAN!KENTO who realizes he's definitely not going to get any sleep tonight but he's okay with that.
Work will be fine without him for a day.
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Since my main blog @rogerswifesblog is shadowbanned I’ve decided to post here (until the shadowban is lifted)
Noise pt. 2
First part here
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Summary: It happens again. But this time, Bucky is not sleeping....
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: Alcohol(just a little bit), SMUT, it’s pwp, 3some, blowjob,ball worship, slight nipple worship, fingering, masturbation, handjob, P in V, MxM, implied anal, sub Bucky, Dom!steve, switch Reader(?), Bottom!bucky, top!steve
Read the warnings!!!
If you’re not interested in mxm you can stop reading after '•••'
18+
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The mission was getting closer and closer to an end. You would probably be able to get back home in just a few days. That's exactly why the three of you decided to have a drink and a relaxing evening. Steve had a small bottle of Thor's liquor, so the two soldiers could also have some fun. Still, you drank a little slower because you didn't want to get drunk. Just enough to be in a good mood.
"You're cheating! Buck, you went two squares too far" you said immediately when you noticed where Bucky put his pawn. "What? -no, of course not. That's not true- I- I just miscounted" he visibly lied which could be seen on his reddening cheeks. Steve punched him lightly in the shoulder and whispered something in his ear that made him laugh out loud. In that time, he moved the pawn onto the proper place.
"What are you whispering about? No whispering at the table" you grinned a bit, briefly putting your hand on Bucky's thigh. "Huh? What did Steve tell you?"
Bucky looked briefly at your hand, then back at Steve. "Yhm- nothing important" he said sheepishly, lowering his head. A soft laugh escaped him after which he took a big gulp of his drink. Your gaze immediately fell to Steve. He winked at you, a small smile on his lipsnwhile he put his arm around Bucky's shoulders. You always liked their friendship, the easy and pleasant way they had with each other. It was just nice to watch.
When Steve threw the dice, he leaned a bit over Bucky as he sat in the middle. "A five! Ha!" he said with satisfaction, making Bucky and you sigh. You were losing while the two soldiers were having a head-to-head race- no matter how many times they had both cheated by now. Because, they totally did cheat in board games.
"I'm going to make myself another drink, you guys want one?" you asked as you stood up and put one of your hands on Bucky's shoulder, the other on Steve's, gently massaging both of them. The blond looked up at you, nodding and giving you a kiss on the hand. "I'd love one, honey" he said while Bucky nodded, not meeting your gaze anymore.
With that you disappeared into the kitchen where you made the drinks.
You could see the two soldiers from where you were standing, talking to each other and teasing each other visibly. It looked really cute. Especially the way Steve was teasing Bucky, how he was always gently nudging the other or pinching his sides, making Bucky laugh a little. A small smile settled on your lips. It was great to see Bucky a little happier again. You could still remember how hard it had been for him to settle back in at first. With Steve, he was clearly relaxed, more than with any other Avenger. He was also very comfortable with you around, always letting you brush his hair or just cuddle him.
"Here you go" you spoke as you placed the two glasses between them while doing that you leaned over Bucky a bit and touched his head with your breasts. Since you were standing behind him, you couldn’t see how red he was blushing, just that he started shifting around a bit in his seat. "I hope you didn't cheat again when I wasn't here" you whispered in his ear, loud enough for Steve to hear as well. After that you went to get your own drink which you had left in the kitchen, not being able to bring all three at once.
This time when you came back, you sat down in Steve's lap. "So, let's get back to playing" you grinned, taking a big gulp of your drink. After rolling the dice, you turned back to Steve, kissing him briefly on the lips, feeling Bucky's gaze on you. Nevertheless, you continued playing.
Within the next twenty minutes you finished the game and sat down on the sofa. "So...what do we do now?" you asked as you put your legs in Bucky's lap and he started massaging them a bit, letting his fingers knead your calves. Your head was in Steve's lap, him stroking your hair. The feeling of being stroked and massaged made you moan softly. You immediately slapped your hand in front of your mouth and looked up at Steve with red cheeks. He merely grinned a little, his eyebrows raised. He could tell you were enjoying Buckys and his hands on you.
Steve had no problem with Bucky touching you. The opposite, actually. He really enjoyed seeing him touch you. His metal fingers working over your naked skin of your calves. He’d love to see these fingers somewhere else… stroking your thighs, your breasts… stretching your tight hole…
Quickly he stopped these thoughts, especially when he felt his own dick twitch. God, he even wanted to feel Buckys hands on his own body.
"I'm sure we can think of some other game" Steve said, stroking your neck with one hand, gently grabbing your hair and pulling your head back. From the side you didn't notice how Bucky was looking at you, his eyes kept sliding from you to Steve and back. He didn’t know where to look. Your beautiful and relaxed features or the somehow hungry sparkle in Steve’s eyes while he licked over his lips.
Silently Bucky listened to you. "Truth or dare? never have I ever?" you suggested, a cheeky grin on your lips. "Both sound quite interesting, maybe we'll start with Truth or da-" "I'm tired" Bucky hurriedly interrupted the blonde.
Before you could even react, he had gotten up and disappeared into the bedroom.
Somewhat confused, you both looked after him. "Is everything all right with him? He's been acting weird all evening" you mumbled and slowly sat up. Steve was still looking at the door while shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know either. Maybe he's really tired...? It could be because of the whole mission… I'll talk to him tomorrow, I promise" Steve assured you.
With a soft sigh, you leaned your head against Steve's shoulder. For a moment you were silent before you started a new topic and lost yourselves in conversation.
For an hour you actually managed to have reasonable conversations before your hands began to wander. The gentle kisses you kept giving each other became more passionate, more demanding. Steve's hand slowly slid into your shorts, gliding between your wet folds- "No, Steve- we can't. I told you… not until we get back" you murmured against his lips, sliding off of his lap. A sigh escaped both at the same time. God, both were so needy for it. You missed feeling Steve’s body against yours, naked and pounding into your tight cunt. Fuck.
Steve looked at you with a slight pout. "Come on… just a little bit…” He pointed with his thumb and pointed finger a few inches apart. “Just a little, you won't even feel it" he whined, pointing now to a length of at least ten inches. Laughing, you punched him in the shoulder. "You're such an idiot, Steve" you grinned, making him laugh too.
"We should get some sleep. It's getting really late" you muttered and stood up. Immediately you held out your hand to the blonde, which he grabbed.
"...Just a little bit?" he mumbled pleadingly, whereupon you rolled your eyes and walked silently to the bedroom, with Steve right behind you. Close enough for you to feel his hardness against your ass.
You could swear this man thought more often with his dick than with his head. Only thinking about sex these past few days.
Whereas you had to admit that you thought about it just as often in the last few days...
Shaking your head, you took off your clothes, down to your underwear. Bucky was asleep either way, so you didn't have to worry about him seeing you change- plus, he'd seen you in your underwear many times since you often changed in the same rooms before or after missions. It was weird at first but by now it didn't bother any of you.
And let's face it, sometimes you liked looking at these super soldiers shirtless.
When you finally laid in bed in your pajamas a few minutes later, Steve pulled you a little closer to him. You could feel that he was still aroused, especially since he put his leg between yours and rubbed his hardness right against your crotch. A contented sigh escaped your lips.
Fuck, it felt really good.
His hard dick pressed right against your throbbing pussy, sometimes rubbing over your clit.
You could feel how wet you were becoming, especially when even with all the layers of clothes your pussy started making a squelching sound.
"Okay- but you have to be quiet, understand?" you breathed over your shoulder to him. Immediately, he nodded impatiently and was already starting to undress your sleep shorts. You stopped him.
"I was thinking of something else" you grinned and sat up. For a moment you looked at Bucky's bed- this time you watched him a bit longer. He was lying on his back, his eyes sliding over your body to your face, stopping at your lips.
Grinning cheekily, you looked back at Steve and sat down between his legs. "We have to be quiet" you reminded him again and started kissing his thighs. Very gentle and soft kisses everywhere but where he wanted it most. Despite that it was quite dark and the room was lit only by the moon, you grinned when you saw a wet spot on the fabric of his boxers, where his leaking tip was. You licked right over that spot, making him gasp.
To tease him a bit more, you took his tip into your mouth a little through the fabric and sucked lightly. His hand immediately found your hair and pressed you a little harder against his twitching dick. "Stop that or I'm going to lose it" he breathed dangerously calm which made you whimper quietly. You could feel yourself getting wetter by the second while Steve rubbed his bulge against your face for a moment, watching you open your mouth and sticking your tongue out.
He continued to hold your head as he pulled down his boxers, enough for him to free his dick and balls. "Open" he demanded and pressed his tip to your lips. Immediately you did as told and opened your mouth as wide as possible. Your jaw would hate you for this tomorrow but you couldn’t wait to finally feel his weight on your tongue again.
With a pleasurable sigh, he pushed between your lips and started thrusting into your wet, warm mouth.
When you took his cock in your own hand and moved it together with your head, he let go of your hair but still thrusted his hips up. Briefly you looked up at him and what you saw made you moan softly around his tip. Steve had leaned his head back a bit, closed his eyes and was gripping the bed sheet with his free hand- you were sure it would tear any second. This motivated you to take him deeper into your mouth- which you did. Even though it wasn't easy, you managed to slide it further into your mouth until he hit your gag reflex. This made you stop for a moment and lift your head, letting the tip fall from your lips to get some air.
You took your second hand to stroke his shaft and over his tip. By now he was so wet from your saliva and his pre cum that your hands slid along effortlessly.
"Don't stop" he breathed and buried his hand in your hair again, using it to push you back down until you took him back into your mouth. This time you let him push you down completely until you swallowed him down and let him stretch your tight throat. With that, you took him completely into your mouth until your nose rested against his abdomen. Unintentionally, he moaned a bit louder this time and to be honest, you didn't pay attention to that anymore.
You let one hand slide to his balls, massaging and kneading them just like you knew he liked. His balls were wet and slick from all the spit and precum that was leaking around your lips.
With the other hand you grabbed his leg and let him control your movements. When he noticed this, he slowly started to thrust into your mouth. "Can I- oh god- can I fuck your pretty mouth sweetheart?" he breathed barely audible. You answered him with a quiet hum which made him draw in a sharp breath.
Without waiting any longer, he began thrusting fast and hard into your mouth. You felt your saliva leak from the corners of your lips. You knew already that you would have jaw pain tomorrow. It wasn't too easy to keep your mouth open that far- Steve was a big guy and he knew it.
With one hand you started playing with his balls again which apparently gave him the rest because the very next moment he pushed your head down completely, grinding into your mouth, moaning quietly into his free hand. You felt his seed hit your throat.
You swallowed as much as you could but something still spilled from your mouth. Starting to feel that you needed to breathe again, you lightly tapped his leg to let Steve know he needed to let you go. That's exactly what he did then. Breathing heavily and clearly satisfied, he mumbled a soft sorry which made you grin a little.
You licked him clean, letting your tongue slide against his slit and over your shaft while he watched you. Then, as you lifted your head, he stroked his thumb across your chin to wipe off the last remnants of his seed- then he gently slid his thumb along your lips until you took him into your mouth.
"I love your lips, your soft, warm, wet mouth..." he breathed softly which immediately made you smile a bit. You loved seeing him so satisfied and pleased.
Steve then pulled you up to him and pressed his lips to yours. Instantly, he began kissing you with desire. His tongue explored your mouth, following his own taste.
Then, when his hand suddenly slipped under the short pant leg of your sleep shorts and found your crotch, sliding over your wet folds, you gasped in surprise. "So wet" he breathed against your lips as his fingers slowly slid along your slit- until he pushed into your wet pussy with two wide fingers. His palm rubbed along your clit as he did so, making you moan in pleasure.
A gasp made you freeze. It wasn't coming from you -and it wasn't coming from Steve either. Immediately you both looked at Bucky, who was lying unnaturally still on his back. His breathing was far too quiet. Slowly you saw his hand moving under the blanket in his crotch area.
You couldn't think much further as Steve added a third finger and moved it into your wetness. Immediately a pleasurable gasp escaped your lips, your gaze falling back to Steve. "Steve-" you breathed softly. When he looked up to you, you gestured toward Bucky's bed with a nod of your head. Immediately he realized what you meant, especially since his vision was better in the dark than yours.
"You like that, baby?" breathed Steve into the darkness and you really had to admit that you had no idea who he was talking to. Especially since you could tell that Bucky was nodding slightly. You could see how his leg muscles tensed a bit. At the same time, you didn't even notice that you had started moving your hips against Steve's fingers, riding them.
"You like it, huh? Can't get enough?" Steve kept murmuring which made you nod immediately. Out of the corner of your eye, you could swear Bucky had nodded once too. A low moan escaped your lips as Steve's hand stroked your sensitive spot again. This immediately made Steve grin and rub a little harder against it.
"Come on baby, come for me. I can see you want it, can't I?" the blonde murmured, your body playing as if for his words as hot pleasure rushed over you in the very next moment. With a suppressed moan you came and dropped exhausted on Steve's chest. You turned your head to the side in time to see that Bucky in the bed next to you was also tensing up and biting into the blanket to stanch his moans as he came too. He had closed his eyes with pleasure while he visibly continued to try to keep his breathing calm. You, too, had to slowly slow down your breathing while Steve slowly stroked along your back.
•••
The super soldier in the next bed slowly opened his eyes and looked directly into yours, then blinked directly at Steve's face as he too looked at Bucky. Even in the darkness, you could see clearly that Bucky's cheeks were turning red. "Fuck- I- I have no idea- fuck- I'm sorry- I-" he started rambling and was about to leave his bed as well. "I'm not a creep- really not- I- God I'm so sorry- I couldn't" he stuttered more. He didn't even give you time to say anything back. Fortunately, Steve reacted quickly enough and sat up after putting you gently aside. He immediately grabbed Bucky's waist and pulled him onto his lap.
A surprised gasp escaped them, even you couldn’t stop a quiet gasp escaping your lips.
For a moment the two soldiers looked at each other silently. Briefly, Bucky's eyes drifted to you as well, then back to Steve.
Steve and you had talked about Bucky more than once, mostly jokingly, about how he was almost like part of your relationship- but had they really been jokes? Bucky was always with you. You spent many evenings watching movies and cuddling. He even went out with you two. You knew Steve had feelings for Bucky back then in the forties but they weren't allowed in their time. So he had pushed them aside for a long time. You had liked Bucky ever since you met him. At first he might have been a little closed off, but with patience and trust everything had changed. He meant a lot to you.
Did Bucky feel the same? Had he always thought the same?
Briefly, Steve looked over his shoulder at you. You didn't need to hear the question, already nodding. A feeling told you this was exactly what he was looking for.
And you were right.
He turned back to Bucky and put a hand on the back of his neck, pulling him a bit closer. "May I?" the blonde breathed barely audibly, looking at Bucky's lips. "Yes, please" it came back just as quietly from the other.
When their lips met in a soft kiss, you felt a tingle in your stomach. It was a beautiful sight to watch them lose themselves in each other. How they let out all the feelings they had kept inside for years, kissing and nibbling at each other's lips.
Still, they broke away from each other again. Bucky smiled slightly sheepishly and rested his head on Steve's shoulder. Again his eyes fell to you. "Would you kiss me, too?" he breathed, in a voice so vulnerable you'd never heard from him before. Immediately you nodded and knelt on the bed next to them both. Bucky raised his head a little with Steve turning to you as well. He too smiled contentedly.
A nervousness came over you as if you were a teenager again and about to have your first kiss. That's exactly how you also felt when kissing Steve for the first time.
Finally, your lips met. Bucky's hand buried itself in your hair while his other was pressed against Steve's chest, stroking over his pecks. In the time you two kissed, Steve watched you for a moment before his gaze slid to Bucky's crotch where a damp stain was visible on the sweatpants he was sleeping in. He couldn’t stop the grin creeping onto his lips.
Cute.
A raspy, low laugh escaped him. You knew that sound. A hungry sound that meant only good things, always involving many amazing orgasms. This made Bucky and you break away from each other. Immediately, Bucky followed Steve's gaze and blushed again.
"Sorry, I-" "Shhh, shhh, don't even start with that. You don't have to apologize or be ashamed, don't worry baby" Steve breathed, pulling Bucky right over his own hardening dick, making them both gasp.
Slowly Steve laid Bucky down on the bed between you and started kissing his neck. This made the laying an moan softly. With one hand he stroked through Steve's hair while with the other he stroked your arm and then pulled you closer by the wrist. You immediately leaned over him and gently kissed his lips, making him gasp quietly. The kiss quickly became more passionate and demanding. Our tongues fought for dominance- until you won and Bucky slowly gave up the control into your and Steve’s hands, just enjoying being worshiped by two people. A soft gasp escaped him. "I still can taste him… I can still taste Steve" he breathed against your lips. You grinned and kissed the soldier again, this time with even more tongue than before.
When he suddenly jerked hard and moaned, you moved away from him. Immediately your eyes fell to Steve who had taken off Bucky's sweatpants and was beginning to lick over his hard length. Under the slight light, you could see some of the previous cum coating Bucky's hard dick. Steve slowly licked him clean, letting his tongue play with the still leaking slit, before licking down his shaft and to his balls, sucking on them gently, Grinning, you bent over Bucky's chest and slowly started kissing your way down. Until your head was next to Steve's.
Steve looked directly into your eyes as he slowly licked all over Bucky's arousal. Sucking his balls into his mouth, slurping loudly while he let them out of his mouth with a smack. This made not only Bucky but also you moan. Fuck, this was all so hot.
While Steve was between Bucky's legs, you laid down at Bucky's side and slowly stroked the outside of his thigh. "You like that Buck, huh? What did you like most while you touched yourself so nicely?" you asked, grinning slightly.
It was hard for the other to answer at all, as Steve was still licking his hard dick. You pinched Bucky's thigh gently to remind him to answer you. "Oh-I-fuck-I saw you took him all the way in your mouth-and-and-oh God Steve," he whimpered as Steve sucked and took Bucky's length in his mouth, circling his mushroom head with his wet tongue. "-then he fingered you- oh fuck- fuck," he stuttered, making you grin.
Slowly you bent down to his hard cock and started licking over his length while Steve kept sucking and licking the tip. This made Bucky moan loudly and uncontrollably over and over again while he couldn’t stop thrusting into Steve's mouth.
He gripped Steve's hair with his metal hand while his other stroked your hair. "Fuck- I'm going to-come-I-no, no, please..." his words endet in a whimper as Steve let go of his dick and also pulled you away. "Please, I-" "Shh, baby, I don’t want you to come just yet" Steve then breathed against Bucky's thigh, grinning mischievously. His gaze slowly fell to you.
You realized what he was talking about- and you were totally onboard. That's why you gave a slight nod before kneeling over Bucky's hip. Bucky looked first at you, then over your shoulder to Steve- then at the ceiling, sighing.
"Am I dreaming?" he breathed, barely audible. This made all three of you laugh softly. "No, you're not dreaming, Buck" you grinned slightly and looked briefly at Steve. The latter gave you a soft kiss on the lips after which he slowly kissed over your shoulder. "Don't keep him waiting, honey" Steve breathed in your ear.
You grinned a bit, biting your bottom lip while you pressed Bucky dick flat against his abdomen, admiring him for a moment.
He was panting and breathing heavily, his chest rising and sinking slowly. His eyes were scanning your body, face and behind you, probably watching Steve as he kissed my shoulders and neck.
God, Bucky looked beautiful.
His nipples were rosy and hard. You imagined him having played with them while he had been touching himself, teased his nipples with his cold metal fingers while his other hand had been pumping his hard leaking cock.
You slowly sat onto his dick, just letting him glide between your slick folds. Your pussy was dripping at this point and you couldn’t wait to finally be filled by a cock. Bucky moaned quietly when he felt your wetness coating his twitching dick. Wanting to hear more of these sounds you leaned down to his nipples, your slick tongue circling the sensitive buds. This time he moaned your name a bit louder, grabbing your hair and pressing your head down against his nipples.
Someone’s sensitive.
Steve chuckled watching you tease Bucky. The chuckle suddenly turned into a moan when he started pumping his own cock quickly but stopping after a few moments. “Sweetheart don’t tease him so much” Steve pulled your hips a bit higher, grabbing Bucky's swollen cock and lining him up with your glistening hole.
Nodding, you let Bucky slowly fill your pussy. You both groaned as Steve got up from the bed and searched for something in the nightstand but you were more interested in the thick dick filling your tight pussy.
You sighed with pleasure as Bucky's whole length disappeared in your channel. It felt like heaven. For the both of you. "Fuck- you feel so good" Bucky breathed, looking back up at you. With a small smile, you gave him a soft kiss on the lips. He used this moment to thrust hard into you, making you gasp when he hit your g-spot. "oh Buck" you gasped and started to move, supporting yourself against his chest. You moved your hips quicker, falling harder onto his dick, while his tip hit your cervix deliciously.
Moans and gasps escaped your mouths. A whisper made you open your eyes again- you hadn't even noticed when you had closed them. "She likes it hard" Steve whispered into Bucky's ear. And that's exactly what you got from Bucky. The next time he thrust into your pussy, you fell forward on Bucky's chest. He put his arms around you and started thrusting into you hard and fast without mercy. He was pounding into your slick pussy.
You could hear squelching with every thrust. You felt Steve gently stroking your hair as he took one of Bucky's hands off you- after you opened your eyes you moaned again, seeing he had put Bucky's hand around his own dick. Lightly, you bit your lower lip before lifting your head a little and opening your mouth, wanting Steve to feed you his clock again. "Oh fuck" both soldiers breathed. Steve wasted no time before he was already fucking into your mouth. His grip on your hair hardened, while he used your mouth like his personal toy.
You felt your eyes roll back, feeling so much pleasure being used by two men.
The way the soldiers thrusted into you, you couldn't help but moan over and over. Just like the two of them did over and over again. Especially Bucky, who was watching his dick disappear in your slick pussy and Steve fucking your mouth.
Bucky was the first who came. "Fuck- I'm going to cum- can I cum in-" "Yes, Buck, cum for us. Come inside her" Steve gasped immediately. “Fill our sweet girl with your cum. Fill her till she’s dripping with it.” That's exactly what happened then. Moaning loudly, Bucky came inside you, gripping your hips tightly. There would probably be bruises by tomorrow -which you didn't mind. You’d love to wear bruises from Bucky and Steve on your skin. Letting everyone know what you did.
Your orgasm overtook you as soon as Bucky's fingers slid to your clit. You moaned around Steve’s dick, letting him slide deeper into your throat. That was enough to trigger Steve's orgasm as well, as he immediately pulled on your hair and pulled you away from his spurting dick. With his free hand, he stroked his dick shooting his seed on your face, as well as Bucky's chest. When Bucky opened his mouth, he got a few squirts on his face and tongue too.
You were still lying on Bucky's chest, while Steve laid down in bed next to you. He carefully wiped your faces with wet wipes that he had from the nightstand.
"Are you okay?" the blond breathed into your hair, kissing your head gently. After you nodded, he looked at Bucky. "And... you? Are you okay?" he whispered barely audible. Bucky looked at him with a smile on his lips and gave a slight nod. "Fine, Stevie." Bucky's grip around you tightened a bit while Steve put his arm around you. You watched as Steve gently kissed Bucky's shoulder and when he turned his head slightly, their lips met in a passionate kiss.
Satisfied, you watched the two men, sitting up slightly- unintentionally you gasped. You had completely forgotten that Bucky was still inside you.
And
And he -
He was still hard.
Fuck
Apparently he hadn't been paying attention to that either because a surprised gasp escaped him as well. This caused them to break away from the kiss.
Grinning, Steve eyed you both, sitting up. When you wanted to lift yourself from Buckys cock, Steve gestured for you to stay, then looked at Bucky and put something on the bed next to you. Bucky's eyes got a little big, but he nodded wordlessly, licking his lips.
Your eyes fell to what was on the bed.
Oh
Oh
Lube.
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littlethingsinlife · 1 year
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i'm sorry (happier part 2)
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A/N: I was not expecting the amount of positive feedback for the first part and I was even more surprised to see people asking for a part 2! It was originally created to be a one-shot but a part 2 really fit well with how the first one ended. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you again for all of the love and support! I hope you all enjoy. I also want to thank my friend, @tummymoth, they really helped me flush out and refine my rusty ass writing (also let me word vomit at them till midnight sometimes).
Pairing(s): Past Lo’ak x Omatikayan!Reader, Ao’nung x Omatikayan!Reader, Slight mentions of Lo’ak x Tsireya
Warnings: Lo'ak's POV, Swearing, Ao'nung saying something sus ONE time
More Info: My vision for this part 2 was to create a reply in Lo'ak's pov. So we'll have a look at what he experienced and thought process (not too sure if any of that made sense) but I was inspired by Joshua Bassett's song "i'm sorry" and it played constantly as I wrote this. Hopefully I was able to do right by my idea haha.
Summary: 7,547
Part 1: Happier
Key:
(Y/N) = Your Name 
Lyrics = Bolded Italics 
Flashbacks = Italics
Na'vi Words:
Yuey - beautiful (refers to a person) 
Skxawng - idiot/moron
Marui - Pods where the Na’vi live
Ilu - sea creature similar to dolphins
Ikran - dragon-like creature 
Tulkun - sentient creatures similar to whales
Olo’eyktan - clan leader/ chief
I thought about what I would say
But I’m two years too late
I can’t imagine how you’re doing these days, hmm
Sure, it wasn’t perfect back then
I’ll be first to admit
But it was better than being strangers again, oh
It had been a couple of months since my interactions with (Y/N) dwindled to terse smiles and barely audible greetings. If you asked me to point out the moment our friendship started to change, I couldn’t tell you. When did our bond start to break? When did it even start to crack? We used to talk every day about all the things we did and planned what pranks to pull on everyone, but now? Now, she barely looked in my direction. Now, she wouldn’t even give me the time of day. 
I couldn’t remember when it started, but I knew that it was somehow my fault I grew distant once we arrived in Awa'atlu. I guess I was just so fascinated by the new environment and people, I didn’t even realize a rift started to form between us in the first place, much less that it started to grow. 
The night before we left to find a new home, I held (Y/N) as she let out sobs filled with fear and anxiety. It broke my heart, but all I could do was hold her and let her cry until she was calm enough to tell me what was on her mind. 
“I-I am afraid, what if the sky people come to find us again? I cannot lose any of you; it would break me into a million pieces,” she sobbed. 
“If they find us then we will fight and we will win,” I reassured her, gently rocking her back and forth. 
“You are an idiot, I was so close to losing you, to losing Kiri, Tuk, how do you think it would make me feel to lose the most important people in my life?” she sniffled. My chest ached at how broken she sounded, but the only thing I could do was assure her and offer her more words of comfort as I held her in my arms. 
“I promise that I will be with you throughout the journey as will my family. We love you, and even if you do not believe it, you are a Sully. And you know what my dad always says.” 
“Sullys stick together,” we chorused.
That night, I cradled her in my arms until she fell asleep. 
Fuck, I completely broke my promise to her, how could I forget? Shaking my head, I tried to reason to myself, “Maybe she just needs time alone. I’m sure she’ll come running back soon once she realizes that it's no fun without me, her best friend.” I felt a small, unfamiliar feeling in the pit of my stomach. “Right?” 
I’m drunk too late talking to the moon
Writing songs I can’t sing to you, ‘cause
“Bah! Stop lying, I know you (Y/N). You would have fought alongside me and defended Kiri. You are not the same girl I knew in the forest back home,” I muttered, rolling my eyes and getting up to leave. Honestly, who did she think she was fooling? The skxawng had the balls to insult Kiri, and all she did was sit back and watch. She didn’t even make a move to help until it was to help him by pulling me off. “Talk to me when you’ve come back to your senses,” I called over my shoulder, refusing to look back. 
“Lo’ak! Bro—” a hand roughly grabbed my shoulder, jolting me out of my daze, “why’re you just staring off like that?” I whipped my head to see who the hell it was that was bothering me, only to be met with Neteyam.
“Did you have to grab me that hard?” I hissed before my initial anger gave way to a heavy feeling. “It's nothing, just—just lost in thought” I sighed, shrugging his hand off my shoulder. 
“Right, sure, nothing.” he crouched down beside me. “Don’t think you can lie to me lil bro, you’ve been spacing out more than you usually do. I didn’t even think it was possible to be more empty-headed than you already are,” he stated. 
“Wha—no I haven’t,” I tried to argue, but of course, he wasn’t convinced. 
“Can you stop arguing with me for once and just tell me what’s going on with you, you skxawng?” 
I scrunched my nose in distaste and inhaled sharply, “(Y/N) and I have been…  distant,” I admitted, turning to look at him. “She won’t even look at me. She either only answers me with one word or doesn’t answer at all.” 
He nodded, motioning for me to continue. 
“I—the last time we talked, I said things I didn’t mean. Things that just came out because I was so frustrated and… and angry. It was the heat of the moment and I—” 
“What did you say skxawng, did you hurt her?” Neteyam interrupted, face twisting to show the beginnings of distaste.
“No, no—” I sputtered and raised my hands to calm him before he could go on an hour-long lecture that I absolutely was not in the mood to hear. “At least I don’t think I did… I just wanted to ask her why the hell she was helping fish lips, that’s all—” 
“You didn’t answer me Lo’ak, what did you say to (Y/N)? I don’t care why you did it, I want to know what you said to elicit such a reaction from her.” By Eywa, if he would just give me a chance to get to the point—
“I—I told her that she was not the same girl that I knew back in the forest..." my ears lowered as the weight of what I said slowly sunk in. “And that she could talk to me once she came back to her senses,” I whispered, internally cringing at my harsh words.. 
“You fucking skxawng—” 
“Can you stop calling me that? I already know, you don’t need to keep repeating it…” I scoffed, looking out into the ocean. I’m good enough at beating myself up over the hundreds of times I’ve messed up in this lifetime, I didn’t need another disappointed set of eyes on me.
My ears twitched at the deep sigh he let out. “Look, I’m sorry that I keep calling you skxawng but that is exactly what you are for saying something so hurtful to your best friend of all people. The two of you were inseparable the moment you were born. Even if you don’t want to, suck up your dumbass pride,” my ears flattened again. It wasn’t pride, I’m not prideful. It—it was me needing (Y/N) on my side. We used to always be on the same page, and when she said I was wrong for wanting to defend Kiri against those assholes, it felt like she was siding with them instead of me, and—
Okay, so maybe it was pride.
  “Admit that you were wrong, and go talk to (Y/N),” Neteyam insisted as he put a reassuring arm around my shoulders, jostling me around to prove a point. “Your friendship is so much stronger and Eywa knows that a heat-of-the-moment argument isn’t going to break that. You should have more faith in her.” His gaze sharpened before he schooled his expression into something calmer. “Just talk to her, yeah?” 
“...Yeah,” I mumbled, swallowing down whatever argument was trying to bubble up from my throat and prying his arm off me. “You’re right. I’ll just clear things up with her and apologize. Everything will go back to normal after that, thanks bro—for listening,” I agreed. 
Ever since that day
The things I didn’t say They haunt me, oh
And I know that I’m to blame 
So, go ahead and 
Blame it on me, oh
Our lessons on the ways of the Metkayina were finished, so it was rare for the entire group to be in the same place. But every once in a while, we all finished our chores at the same time and found ourselves near the shore where we first learned to ride the ilu, and sat around a fire hours before eclipse, laughing and exchanging stories. 
The rarity of these moments made me cherish them that much more, but two people continued to miss our not-so-scheduled gatherings the past two moon cycles. How was it possible that they were the only two to keep missing our hangouts? Were they together? Fish lips had better not be doing anything to (Y/N) or so hel—
“(Y/N)! Ao’nung! You guys made it!” Rotxo laughed. 
“Yeah, yeah, quit shouting will you?” Ao’nung shot back as he sat down next to Rotxo, (Y/N) smiling softly as she followed. 
“So, what’ve you guys been up to? We haven’t seen you in what feels like ten moon cycles.” Neteyam questioned.
“Teyam, you saw me earlier today, you literally helped me feed our ikran,” (Y/N) joked. ‘Teyam? When did she start calling him by anything other than his given name?
Ao’nung swatted her side with his stupidly wide tail and swung an arm around her shoulder with a remarkably punchable smile on his face “More like he was trying to make sure you didn’t accidentally give them your fingers for breakfast. They would’ve gotten indigestion.”
“Haha very funny Ao’nung,” she drawled, “I would’ve fed you to Tekay instead, but she would’ve gagged the moment she caught a whiff of you,” she scoffed as she quickly pushed him away by the chest.
“Wait… Do they even have a gag reflex?” Fish lips didn’t budge, he just had a dumb look of confusion on his face.
“No, but they would defy the laws of biology to gag just for you,” she quipped, sticking out her tongue and moving to push him away again, but the skxawng had the nerve to pull her into a headlock. 
“Oh, yuey, the ikran won’t be the only ones gagging on me tonight,” he argued with a smirk. 
Did I want to punch that smirk off his face? Did I want to gag? Both? Before I could make a decision, (Y/N) grimaced, pushing him away again and smacking him upside the head. 
“That’s actually repulsive. You’re disgusting.”
“Dude, keep it in your pants, her family is right there,” Rotxo laughed, doubled over as he struggled to catch his breath.
“Yeah, we’re right here,” I interjected with a smile—wanting to join in on the jokes that were being thrown around—but it was hard to keep my face from falling when I saw (Y/N)’s bright expression falter. 
“Anyway, what were you guys talking about before Ao’nung and I arrived?” she asked in a too-bright tone of voice she only used when she desperately wanted to change the subject. As if everyone came to an unspoken agreement to forget about the conversation before, one by one they all started talking about who they thought would win in a fight—Toruk Makto, or our Olo’eyktan, Tonowari. 
The sound of laughter and excited chatter faded as I replayed the previous conversation in my head. When did they start joking around like that? Why the hell did fish lips call her yuey like it was the most natural thing in the world? How come she smiled so easily with him but faltered when she sees me? She was probably smiling with him right now—
I looked over at her, a pit in my stomach already forming at the idea of her smiling at him, but she looked so distant, so withdrawn from everything around her. Before I could even blink, she put a delicate hand on Ao’nung’s arm to grab his attention and mumbled something in a hushed tone. After a few beats of silent conversation, Ao’nung nodded and gave her a look of understanding. 
Why did he look at her like that? How much time did they spend together to be able to understand each other with just a look? How much time have I wasted breaking my promise to her while she grew closer to someone else? 
 Standing up, I made up my mind that I would talk to her and clear up any miscommunication. There was no way in hell I was about to let fish lips ruin our childhood friendship. Before I could even get close, Neteyam pulled me aside. 
“Bro, why’re you glaring at everyone?” he asked with concern written all over his face.
“Glaring?” I tilted my head in confusion. “I’m not glaring, this is just my face.” 
“No, no.” He shook his head. “I’m your brother, I know your face. Whatever look you’ve been throwing at Ao’nung and (Y/N)? You may as well have been throwing knives at them.”
Behind Neteyam, I could see (Y/N) get up to bid everyone good night and slowly walk in our direction. This was my chance, I just needed this overbearing idiot to leave me alone. 
“Whatever look you think I’m giving to them, you’re wrong,” I denied. “Can you not act like this right now?” My tail flicked side to side impatiently, an obvious twinge of annoyance clear in my tone. I licked my lips nervously as I could hear footsteps coming closer. Leaning slightly to the side, I looked behind Neteyam to see (Y/N) and—
Ao’nung? What? Why is he there? 
“Good night,” (Y/N) muttered, not sparing us a glance as she walked past. I followed her every move and—as if everything slowed down—my eyes narrowed as they found Ao’nung’s hand placed on her lower back, leading her gently in the direction of the marui. 
I know that I’m too late
But I’ll say it anyway
I’m sorry 
I’m sorry 
I’m sorry 
Though it's far too late
“I did it! Did you see that Reya?” I shouted—out of breath—as I showed off the shell Tsireya threw. 
“Yes, yes you did it!” She exclaimed, excitedly wrapping her hand around mine. For someone who spent so much time underwater, her hand radiated so much warmth. So easy to hold. My heart swelled with pride as she continued to compliment me. “You’ve improved so much!”
“Yeah? Well, I had a great teacher,” I joked, nudging her softly with my shoulder. It wasn’t just her hands that were warm either, she just seemed to radiate it.
“Oh stop, you flatter me too much,” she denied, fidgeting with her hair. Was that a blush on her face? “C’mon, why don’t we catch up with the others? Private lessons are officially done for the day,” she announced as she led me to shore. Oh Eywa, she looked so pretty like this, with her hair flowing down her back and the way her eyes cast down when she became flustered. And her smile, it was a smile that could knock the air out of my lungs.
While we walked onto shore, we joked around and laughed with each other, talking about anything and everything. The ease of each reply and joke came as smoothly as gliding through the water on an ilu—as easy as breathing. Laughing at another one of Tsireya’s jokes, my eyes scanned the village as we approached it. Families were winding down for the day as they cooked dinner, although I didn’t see mine anywhere nearby aside from Kiri. 
My smile slowly dropped when I was able to make out Kiri looking frantically around as if she was searching for someone. Tsireya and I made our way to her, worry filling the pit in my stomach. As we got closer, I could see Ao’nung climb down one of the roots of the Mangrove trees and make a beeline toward her. My eyes stayed on both of them, making sure that fish lips didn’t do anything to Kiri. 
Ears twitching I was able to make out the words, “(Y/N)? Did you find her? ” from Kiri as they were carried on the wind toward us.
“Yeah I did, I was able to get her to eat, but she’s not looking too good,” Ao’nung replied with concern lacing his voice.
Brows furrowing, I pulled Ao’nung by the shoulder. “What do you mean she’s not looking good? Where is she? What did you do?” 
“What the hell do you mean? I didn’t do shit, freak.” I rolled my eyes at the insult. He couldn’t use that thick head of his to think of anything else to call me? From the pained look on his face, I could tell that my grip on his shoulder had too much pressure. Good. Served him right.
Before Ao’nung and I could continue our argument Kiri groaned, “Will the both of you skxawng shut up! I’ll go talk to her.” My eyes followed her retreating form as she went to talk to (Y/N)—tail lashing back and forth in agitation all the while—before turning back to Ao’nung.
Who the hell did he think he was? I’d beat his skxawng ass if he hurt (Y/N) in any way. He had no right to look so damn worried. They weren’t even close. What even happened? How long had she been missing for Kiri to go to fish lips of all people for help? Should I follow Kiri? Why didn’t (Y/N) come to me? She always came to me, and if she came to me now, I absolutely would have listened. Why—
“Lo’ak? Hey, are you okay? Lo’ak?” a hand softly placed itself on my arm. Closing my eyes in frustration, I sighed. 
“Yeah, perfectly fine.” 
Damn it, was that when it started? How idiotic and blind have I been that I didn’t even notice that her trust in me started to slip and die when it was right in front of me? Why didn’t I go to her and make sure she was okay? I should’ve punched that idiot’s lights out—
“Ao’nung! Stop pulling me you skxawng, you’re walking too fast, slow down!” a hushed voice chastised. 
“C’mon yuey, we only have about an hour before eclipse, we have to hurry!” His voice grated against my ears as he responded. 
“That’s plenty of time!” (Y/N) insisted. I could hear the laughter bubbling up in her voice as she chased after him. “Please Ao’nung slow down, I can’t keep up.” 
“It can’t be helped, you’re so short—” a whack could be heard. “Ow!”
“I’m as tall as Tsireya, you giant!” 
“Both you and my sister are short—Ow! Alright, just because you did that, you leave me no choice,” Ao’nung said, throwing (Y/N) over his shoulder with a laugh. 
The bickering voices got closer, and my eyes narrowed at the way he held her. My breath hitched as he whispered something in her ear that made her ears perk up and her eyes widen. What the hell was he saying to her? Before I could spring up from my spot, Ao’nung tossed (Y/N) in the water, her yelp quickly interrupted by the sound of her body hitting the water. 
I stayed in my spot as shock zipped through my body. Letting out a breath I didn’t know I held, her head popped out of the water, a playful glare on her face. 
“I told you, you left me no choice,” he stated, guffawing at her expression.
“Oh yeah?” she groused, spitting out seawater as she wrung out her hair. “Well fuck you too. Help me out of here?” 
“Only if you say the magic word,” he taunted, crossing his arms with a smirk. “Otherwise, I’m afraid my hands are tied.”
“Please, oh great son of our Olo’eyktan, help me out of the ocean,” she beckoned dramatically, sarcasm dripping from every word while she rolled her eyes. “It’s about time you recognized my proud lineage, forest dweller,”  he said as his chest puffed out with a hand reaching towards (Y/N). And there was that stupid smile on his face.
(Y/N) rolled her eyes, a mischievous smile spreading across her face as she reached for his hand, making sure to tug with enough force to unceremoniously yank him into the water. 
“So much for the son of a great warrior! Your instincts are shit!”
“My instincts are dull you say?” he questioned as his head popped up next to her. “We’ll see about that!” 
“Wha—AHHH—'' she wheezed. “No, please Ao’nung stop! That tickles!” Her arms flailed wildly in an attempt to free herself from his grasp. 
What the fuck.
  My ears flattened at an angle as I tried to process the scene unfolding before me. When did she start laughing with him? That should’ve been me she was laughing with. Not him, not the skxawng who had been nothing but rude to us since we arrived. What… what was I even saying—Fuck I didn’t know anymore. Why did I feel like this every time I saw them together… laughing and making jokes like we used to?
And it was me, it wasn’t you
It’s cliche, but it’s true 
I wasn’t thinking how I usually do, oh
And is your momma doing well? 
Or does she still hate me? 
But it was hard to watch me put you through hell 
I’m drunk, too late, talking to the moon, ooh
Writing songs I can’t sing to you, ‘cause 
Two weeks had passed since I started noticing the changes in (Y/N)’s relationship—friendship?—with Ao’nung. It was like every time I blinked, I could see her laughing loudly as Ao’nung tickled her with a triumphant smile on his stupid face. Since that day, I had been trying to find a way to talk to (Y/N), but she was never alone. She was always with him and when she wasn’t, she disappeared and I couldn’t find her no matter how hard I looked. 
Now here I was, wandering around trying to look for her as I rehearsed what I wanted to tell her. 
Where could she be? Dinner was in an hour and she wasn’t anywhere near our marui. I had to find her soon so there would be enough time for us to talk. I had to tell her that I miss her, that I was sorry for being so dumb, that I shouldn’t have let my pride blind me, and that I didn’t mean any of the things I said. 
There was only one place I hadn’t looked yet… hopefully she was there. 
As I was getting closer to the root Kiri stalked to, I could see two silhouettes beside each other. An all-too-familiar feeling bloomed in my chest once I registered that she was there with him. 
Her melodic laughter made my steps falter. I clenched my fists tightly, contemplating if I should go over there and pull her away, force her to talk to me, to listen. But I couldn’t, I couldn’t do that to her, not when she looked so content, so happy. 
Ever since that day 
The things I didn’t say 
They haunt me, oh
I know that I’m to blame 
So, go ahead and 
Blame it on me, oh
“Lo’ak? You said you were going to look for (Y/N) and never came back. She’s already in the marui helping mom cook,” Kiri stated, a twinge of annoyance lacing her voice. “Hey, are you listening?” She shook my arm slightly, making me jump out of my stupor. 
“Yeah, sorry, you said dinner was ready?” I asked as I stared off. 
The sand beside me crunched softly as Kiri made a move to sit beside me. “No, I said that (Y/N) is with mom helping her cook. Where is your head at?” she asked as she tilted her head to try and meet my gaze. “Are you alright?” The annoyance in her voice shifted to concern. 
“I’m fine, yep—just… fine,” I brushed her off, hoisting myself up to head towards Mom and Dad for dinner before Kiri yanked me back down. 
“Lo’ak, don’t pretend you’re okay when you’re not. Tell me what’s going on,” she urged. “Maybe I can help you with whatever it is that’s occupied your mind lately.”
I inhaled sharply, debating if I should tell her what had been muddying my mind, the reason why I had been so spaced out, why I had been glaring daggers at fish lips each time I saw his stupid face next to (Y/N)—how confused I was. 
“Stop with the thinking skxawng, you might hurt yourself,” she admonished. “Just tell me. It’s not like I can’t handle it.” 
Huffing, I rolled my eyes and turned away from her to look at the sea. I hadn't even said anything yet and Kiri was already making me feel idiotic. How was I supposed to tell her what's been going on like this? Maybe if I kept quiet for long enough, she would get tired of waiting for me to start talking and go on to eat dinner without me. 
A couple of minutes of silence passed. 
I could still feel her staring at me.
“I’ve—I’ve been conflicted,” I started, tongue feeling heavy in my mouth as I continued to stare at the shoreline. “I don’t know what I’m feeling.”
“What do you mean?” Kiri nudged my shoulder with hers. “Elaborate a little more, I can’t help if you don’t tell me the reason why you’re feeling confused.” 
“...Whenever I see (Y/N) with Ao’nung, it’s as if I can feel my heart aching,” I said, motioning toward my chest to prove my point. “There’s always a… a surge of anger that rushes through me. All I want to do is pull her away from him so then everything can go back to the way things used to be—for us to be okay.”
“Lo’ak…” If I was looking at her, I’d probably see Kiri tilt her head with sympathy. But sympathy isn’t what I needed right now.
“I want her to look at me and smile, to laugh with me, hug me—but now, whenever I get close to her, she’s next to him, laughing with him, cracking the jokes we would make to each other… I just—” I rubbed at my face in frustration. It wasn’t as if the words were hard to come by—I had spent so much time bottling them up that it was hard to stop talking. No, I just hated the fact that I felt this way in the first place. “I don’t understand why seeing them makes me feel like my heart is about to explode—why it makes me want to scream. It hurts.” 
“Lo’ak” she put a hand on my shoulder. “Are you—are you in love with (Y/N)?”
Love?
I sputtered in surprise and whipped my head toward Kiri to see if she was joking or not. What kind of a sick question was that? I wasn’t in the mood for any games. 
“What? No, she’s like my… sister?”
She rolled her eyes and sighed. “If you’re not, then why does seeing her with Ao’nung hurt you so much? Why do you care as much as you do?” 
“I shouldn’t!” I wrenched my shoulder away from her hand and stood up. The need to move around and do something—anything—was too much. There was too much energy thrumming right beneath my skin to sit still anymore. 
“That’s the problem! After everything I said to her, done to her? I don’t have the right to say I’m in love with her. She’s my childhood friend, Kiri. That’s all our relationship has ever been… I just—” I paused in thought and tried to calm down. “I didn’t realize seeing her have so much fun with someone else would make me feel so, so hollow—” 
“Let me ask you something, you have to promise to be completely honest with me, okay?”
I nodded, not even looking in her direction. 
“When (Y/N) tried to pull you off from Ao’nung that one fight months ago, what did you feel? Angry? Betrayed? Jealous?”
Jealous? Did she really think I was sulking for months because of such a petty feeling? I’m not a jealous person. I never have been. 
“Seeing her jump in to get me off him made me feel like she was siding with him and telling me that I was wrong. Her actions were clear as day to me, Kiri.” I started to pace around. “She was protecting him—caring for him when she should’ve been next to me, helping and supporting me. When she did that—I felt like the only person that’s ever been on my side—” I croaked and turned my head to look at Kiri as tears stung my eyes “The only person who didn’t see everything I did as some sort of disappointment or failure, abandoned me and chose someone else.”
“...”
“I know that I could’ve approached her a different way but how could I when I felt so broken?” I inhaled sharply, eyebrows furrowed. “ It’s all fish lips’ fault. If he wasn’t such an asshole, none of this would have happened, and (Y/N) and I would still be the same, she would still be by my side—supporting me, loving me.” 
“Why do you keep blaming it on Ao’nung?”
“Because it is his fault that things have turned out the way it has.” I threw my hands up, exasperated. What wasn’t Kiri getting? “He’s getting in between my relationship—er—friendship with (Y/N)! If he wasn’t there I would be able to talk to her and tell her I’m sorry, but she’s always with him—”
“Stop! Are you hearing yourself?” She nudged at my foot to interrupt and scoffed. “You’re unbelievable, you know that? (Y/N) told me what you said to her, how ‘she wasn’t the same girl’ you knew back in the forest. Do you know what happened when you told her that? Do you know how much pain she was in?”
Pain? I snorted, turning towards Kiri. “Now I know what you’re saying is bullshit. You know how (Y/N) is—if she really was pissed at me she would’ve come to me instead of running to someone else.”
“She wasn’t pissed. She cried because of you, Lo’ak. Because of what you said.” I stopped dead in my tracks to look at her. Kiri's eyes didn’t waver. Another heavy feeling settled on my chest and clawed its way up my throat. If you had asked me what it was, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you. Was I sad? Guilty? Angry? Was I jealous like she said?
I settled on anger.
“If you’re saying what I think you’re saying—”
“The person that found her that night, the one who comforted her? That was Ao’nung. He held her in his arms as she sobbed when I found them.” She stood up too, forcing me to stop pacing. 
“The last thing I want to hear about right now is him, Kiri. What the fuck—”
“Did you ever think about why she’s so comfortable with him now? Why they’re so close? While you ignored her for weeks, he made sure she was okay—made sure she ate every day. He didn’t leave her side until she finished,” Kiri pointed out, and before I could even think to open my mouth to remind her how shitty he was to her especially, she cut me off. “Yes, he was an asshole at the beginning, and yes he has a screwed-up way to show he cares, but he stepped up when you fucked up.” She poked my chest with a glare before she continued. 
“Oh, so I’m a fuck-up now?” I asked wryly. 
“You can’t put all the blame on someone that took care of your best friend. Stop being so blinded by your pride and hatred and see that you’re the real reason why your relationship with (Y/N) isn’t the same as it used to be.” 
My heart sank a little more as I scrambled for something to say. “How could you say that—”
“No, you do not get to interrupt me right now, Lo’ak.” Her eyes flashed with something closer to anger than annoyance. When was the last time I saw her angry? “Listen and listen well. When we couldn’t find (Y/N) and we were looking for her everywhere—he was the one that found her spot, the one she isolated herself to so she could cry alone, and no one would see how much pain she was in. And what were you doing in the meantime?” 
My ears flattened at her rising tone, and I was finally beginning to understand the weight stuck in my throat and chest. Not anger, not even jealousy.
“You were out there with Tsireya, stuck in your own little world.”
It was my fault.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy that you found her but you can’t have both of them. You can’t be that selfish. From (Y/N)’s perspective, you’ve already chosen the one you want.”
“It’s not like I’ve actually chosen anyone yet,” I tried to interject, but all the fight had left my voice as Kiri’s words dug into my skin and sunk in.
“Don’t you dare play with either of their feelings. (Y/N) held so much love for you in her heart, she allowed herself to break to the point of no repair because she didn’t want to show you how much it hurt her to see you at your happiest with Tsireya.” She paused before continuing, her voice losing its edge. “Let her move on, brother. And if it’s Ao’nung that makes her light up the way she used to, then you suck it up and let him. He was there when your pride wouldn’t even let you apologize or even look in her direction. Actually think about how she feels for once.” 
I hated the fact that there wasn’t anything I could say to prove her wrong. 
“It’s all I’ve been thinking about nowadays,” I muttered.
I know that I’m too late
But I’ll say it anyway 
I’m sorry 
I’m sorry, hmm
I’m sorry 
Though it’s far too late 
“I thought I was already doing that,” a faint voice huffed in annoyance. Turning the corner, I saw Ao’nung and (Y/N) standing on the beach together— far too close for my liking. 
“You were, but you got sloppy. Here, you have to move your hips like this,” he said as he corrected her posture. My ears flattened against my head as he put a hand on her hip and gently directed her movement.
Why did he look so gentle with her?
“Ao’nung,” (Y/N)’s voice rang out, clear as crystal despite her uncertain tone. “Are you sure you should be teaching me this? This is a traditional Metkayina dance, right? I’m…” she hesitated, her voice becoming smaller. “I’m not Metkayina—” 
“Yet.” He interrupted, holding her face in his hands. “You are not Metkayina yet. Once you become one of us, you will have to learn the dance to celebrate the return of our spirit brothers and sisters, so why not learn that now?” I hated how reassuring his voice was. The thought of how either of their eyes looked as they held contact made my stomach turn.
“Yeah… you’re right,” she mumbled with an unsure look on her face.
“Woah, hey pretty girl, look at me,” he insisted, laying his hands on her shoulders and bending his neck so they were at eye level. “I’m serious when I say you will become Metkayina one day, so don’t worry yourself over it right now. Okay?” Ao’nung tilted his head to the side, an unbelievably soft expression on his face. “You have me here to help you.”
“Alright…” (Y/N) mumbled, not convinced. 
“If you don’t get rid of that look on your face I’ll throw you into the water,” he said as his face shifted from sincerity to something mischievous. “Or worse… I’ll tickle you,” he threatened.
“You better not Ao’nung, or I swear to the Great Mother herself I will hu—AHH—get away, you skxawng!'' She laughed as she tried to run away, but Ao’nung grabbed hold of her waist and pulled her into his arms. And despite her words of protest, it was clear as day that she was leaning into him while they scuffled on the sand. 
“No!” she shrieked with glee. “You can’t make me go in there again!”
“I wouldn’t be so sure of that, forest dweller!”
A thought occurred. Should I go up to them? We never got the chance to talk, after all. I took a few steps in their direction before freezing. When was the last time I heard her laugh like that? She had the biggest smile on her face, and the one who made that happen wasn’t me—it was him. 
And if you ever hear this 
I hope you know that 
I’m not proud of who I’ve been, ooh
And if I see you again
I hope you know that 
I wish you nothing but the best
And my biggest regret
The afternoon was quiet, relative silence only interrupted by the crashing of waves. Without much to do, I just sat in our marui and lazed around with Tuk until a horn blew. 
“The tulkun have returned! Everybody—our brothers and sisters have returned!” Tsireya’s voice rang out, and when I poked my head out to see what the fuss was about, I saw the megawatt smile on her face, as she swam by on her ilu. 
The village came to life as everyone mounted either ilu or canoe to make their way to the tulkun. From here, I could see little more than a large group of dark shapes making their way through the water. Payakan himself was dauntingly huge, but to see a whole pod of them show up like this? It was spectacular. I watched the commotion unfold from one of the walkways, lost in thought before I felt water splashing at my feet. 
“Come on Lo’ak! Don’t just stand there, let’s go see the tulkun together!” Tsireya urged, still smiling. Shaken out of my stupor, I grinned widely—diving into the water and clambering onto her ilu. lu may be lithe animals, but I could still feel sinuous muscle under velvety skin as it made adjustments in the water to keep balance. 
“I’ll come, but only if you’re offering a ride,” I joked, gently holding her waist and playfully leaning onto her. The cool water around us made her skin feel that much warmer. It was nice. 
Before I could see her reaction—I would’ve bet anything at that moment that her cheeks had become flushed—we began to quickly make our way toward the rest of the clan and the giant tulkun. 
The air around me vibrated with the excitement and happiness of loved ones returning, and Tsireya was no exception—the speed of the ilu gave away her eagerness to be with her spirit sister. As we leaped into and out of the water, Tsireya’s laughter was carried by the wind and reached my ears. That, and the answering whoops and bellows of Metkayina and tulkun alike, was almost contagious enough to get carried away by the energy surrounding us. 
“My spirit sister is down there,” she said as she dismounted, sliding off her ilu and into the water. “Wait here, yeah?” she smiled at me before diving down.  
I was more than happy to watch the Na’vi around me. Looking around, I was in awe of the sheer amount of tulkun gathered in one area, and how each Metkayina was able to identify their spirit sisters or brothers so easily. Looking down into the shifting waters, I saw Tsireya catching up with her spirit sister, waving her hands around and swimming through the water alongside her.
All around, I could hear people telling stories and the deep, booming calls of the tulkun as they responded with tales of their own. New parents were showing their babies and calves, and as my eyes scanned the horizon, I could see small children holding onto the tulkun’s fins as they were lifted to the glittering ocean surface.  
Not too far away, I heard the sound of a body hitting the water and the sound of grating, but familiar laughter along with an indignant (Y/N) sputtering. 
“Ao’nung, what the fu—” 
“Hey, hey, relax! It’s just some water. There are children here, yuey,” Ao’nung chided with a shit-eating grin on his face. 
“The parents of those children are going to have to explain what it means to return to Eywa once I’m through with you,” she retorted, treading water and becoming even more unamused when he raised his hands in mock surrender. 
“Woah there pretty girl, you’re talking to the son of the mightiest warrior in all of Pandora—”
“That’s funny, I don’t see Neteyam here,” she interjected, pretending to search the waters around them before turning back to Ao’nung and tilting her head, “do you?”
“Just because you said that you can have fun finding your own way back to shore,” he said as he turned his ilu around.
“Oh, c’mon Ao’nung, don’t be like that,” she rolled her eyes and reached a hand towards him. “You’d really leave me here to fend for myself?”
He turned and wagged a disapproving finger at her, “I’ll consider forgiving you if you say word-for-word that I’m the son of the mightiest warrior in all of Pandora. I can’t have you slandering my father’s name, yuey.” She groaned and leaned back into the water. 
“You couldn’t pay me enough to say that load of bull—”
“Nope!” he didn’t give her a chance to defile the ears of any nearby children and crossed his arms. “I wanna hear you say it.”
“...”
“I’m still waiting.”
With a sardonic smile, she finally caved. “Why don’t I do you one better? You’re the mightiest warrior to exist since the time of the First Songs,” she declared, sarcasm dripping from every word as she slapped at the water for emphasis. 
“That’s what I thought, was that so hard?” Even if I wasn’t able to see them, I still would have been able to hear the stupidly wide smile that made its way across his face.
“Don’t be such a big baby and let me meet your spirit brother!” 
“Just because he’s here to visit today, I’ll let that one slide for now.” Ao’nung rolled his eyes, dismounting his ilu to join (Y/N). “Now hold on tight and hold your breath like how we practiced.”
We? Who the fuck was we? Why was he allowing her to meet his spirit brother? Why were they looking at each other like that?
I watched both of their silhouettes submerge and breathed deeply, forcing my thundering heart to calm as I slowly sank my head into the water. At first, all I could see were blobs floating around in the water, but once my eyes adjusted, I could see the fluid movement of Ao’nung talking to his spirit brother. Eyebrows furrowing, I swam a little closer and hoped that I would be able to see what was being signed. With each movement made, it was clear that Ao’nung was translating the clicks and bellows of the tulkun to (Y/N), and whatever was being said made her smile widen by the second. 
I couldn’t watch anymore as my chest burned from the lack of air and I resurfaced to catch my breath. For once, I was thankful for the lack of lung capacity I had. I climbed back onto Tsireya’s ilu. Seeing as she wasn’t back yet, I sat back and leaned on its neck to face the sky.
Did she always glow like that when she smiled? Whenever she was with him—she always looked so happy, so vibrant. Would she have looked like that with me by her side if I didn’t push her away? If I was there for her like I had promised? I wanted to tell her sorry—that I was sorry for taking our friendship for granted, for making her go through it alone. I wish that it didn’t take seeing her smile and laugh with someone else to make me realize how I felt.
I willed my tears to go away. 
Is this how she felt? Seeing me with Tsireya? Great Mother… I was truly horrible, wasn’t I? I wished things turned out differently. Maybe in another universe, I did talk to her—realized sooner, made her happier—but now? Right now, my heart was torn in two, watching as someone else picked up the pieces of the heart I crushed. No amount of words could fix what we used to have, and even though I wanted to whisk her away, tell her I love her—that I see her—that seeing her with him made my skin crawl, I knew I couldn’t. I was no longer worthy to be part of her life, because of me and my actions alone. 
I had become nothing but a stranger. 
Ever since that day 
The things I didn’t say 
They haunt me
I know that I’m to blame
So go ahead and 
Blame it on me, ooh
I know that I’m too late 
But I’ll say it anyway
I’m sorry
I’m sorry 
Hmm, I’m sorry 
Oh-oh-oh-oh, I’m sorry
Taglist: @midnightliacr @immortalbloodhuntress @arminsfloll @whenercolorfulrainbowlol @dakotali @lexilander27 @zatarias-pandora @vanillawhale @kazupop @owaowaowawa @sopiasleeps @siabhshjsjsjsjshznzn @jimfiqs @ihave500hubbiez
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nykie-love-anime · 10 months
Text
Day 22 ~ “Your Hair Is So Soft.”
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Playing with Kenma’s hair while he is playing video games.
You have been best friends with Kenma for as long as you can remember and as the days go by the urges to touch / play with his hair increased multiple times
But as any friendship can go you asked him to be your boyfriend because the shy little thing would not ask you to be his boyfriend as Kuroo stated a few times during warmups
Thankfully you listened because you have not been happier with your current situation
You definitely stare at it during the video game nights that he set up for you guys to relax after a stressful day at volleyball practice
One day your self-control collapses
He did something small for you, you couldn’t exactly remember but you just remember losing control of your hands
Maybe it was him patting your leg congratulating you on the won in one of your rounds
Maybe it was him slowing sitting down on the ground between your legs to get comfortable for his round after returning with snacks
Who knows?
All you can think of is to touch his shiny hair
“Oh wow your hair is so... soft.” You complemented as you started messing with his hair
“Thanks. Kuroo gave me this new shampoo and conditioner for my birthday and it makes it really soft.” He smiled up at you as he waits for the game to start
“He says I need to take care of my hair otherwise I am going to be bald by 50.” He mutters cursing the playing who just shot him
And all you could do was chuckle shaking your head at the bedhead or mostly known as your other best friend Kuroo
“Remind me to thank him during next weeks practice.” You muttered continuing to play with his blond locks.
All Kenma could do was giggle at the look on your face as he looked at you waiting to respawn
“Would you mind if I braided your hair?” you question and he just shook his head going back to the game he is playing
Braiding his hair was a fun experience
You have to thank your mom for teaching you how to braid your little sisters hair
And you definitely have to get the name of the shampoo and conditioner he is using because his hair is so soft and luscious
And lastly you have to thank Kuroo for being the hair obsessed weirdo that he is for taking care of your boyfriends hair
Day 21 | Masterlist | Day 23
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