#but anyway yes if anyone can think of something fun and commemorative I should do | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lilacandladybugs · 3 years

Text

Winnie the Pooh Rendition: In Which The Syndicate Throws Technoblade a Birthday Party

It was a bright and snowy as ever June day, one of those days where nearly everyone is still sleeping, and the summer air is a bit thicker than normal, and the snowflakes still bustle through the air. One of those June days where the polar bears lay around lazily and the song of birds from nearby treetops feels even more gentle than normal. It was one of those types of snowy Junes, the most Junest that anyone had seen, when Philza Minecraft realized it was Technoblade’s birthday.

“Oh dear,” Phil said, standing up from where he had been writing Wilbur a letter, “Today is Technoblade’s birthday, and I haven’t got anything planned.” This simply wouldn’t do. Technoblade would need to have a large birthday to commemorate how Clever and Loyal and Generous he was, as everyone in the Syndicate agreed.

“I must go tell Ranboo right away, and we can make some plans together.” And so Philza gathered up his armor and went out into the snowy June morning to Ranboo’s house, which was just across the lawn.

“Ranboo,” Phil began, “I had nearly forgotten that it is Technoblade’s birthday today, and we must throw him a party as soon as possible.”

“His birthday?” Ranboo said, blinking his large enderman eyes, “a birthday.”

“Yes,” said Phil, “and we need to throw him a party.”

“Well birthday parties are things that shouldn’t be forgotten,” said Ranboo, who had forgotten what a Birth Day was, “and we should make sure everything is just right.”

“Yes,” said Phil, “we should.”

Ranboo considered for a moment what a Birth Day might be, and what type of party someone would have for it. Perhaps Birth Days were days where you had something good happen, and you needed congratulating. In that case they might want to write him a book. Or maybe Birth Days where when something solemn happened, and you needed consoling.

“It seems,” Ranboo guessed, “That we should have a celebration.”

“That’s what I said.”

“Ah yes,” Ranboo nodded seriously, “of course, Birth Days are always for celebrating and being happy.”

“Well, yes, obviously. But what should we do to celebrate it?”

Ranboo remembered that Technoblade seemed to enjoy fireworks, and he remembered that sometimes people set off fireworks when they were celebrating an occasion. “What if we set off fireworks?”

“Oh,” said Phil, “yes Technoblade does like fireworks.”

Ranboo felt pleased with himself for guessing something correctly, “Yes he does.”

“But fireworks are not very customary on such occasions,” Phil continued.

“True,” said Ranboo, “not very custardly at all.”

Phil sat down next to Ranboo so that he would be in a better position for planning occasions, and thought about the firework idea, which still remained their only idea. “Well, I suppose we could have fireworks anyway,” he resolved, “given they are Technoblade’s favorite.”

“Yes, I suppose so.” Ranboo said.

“I’ll go tell Nikki, nobody would want to miss a birthday party.” Phil stood up with new resolve to make Technoblade a lot of fancy fireworks for his birthday, “Thank you for helping me come up with ideas. Come around our house at three o’clock, and I will have woken Technoblade up for his birthday.”

“Goodbye,” said Ranboo, feeling as if the exchange had gone exceptionally well for not knowing what a Birth Day was, and feeling very excited to finally find out.

“Goodbye,” said Phil, glad he wasn’t the only one who had nearly forgotten. Nikki was in her bakery, where it was much warmer than outside in the snow, and the smell of something sweet, but not too sweet, hung gently in the air. Phil stepped in and instantly felt much better about everything.

“Hullo Nikki!”

“Hullo Phil,” Nikki said, pulling a cake her out of her oven, “It is Technoblade’s birthday today, and so I thought it would be a good idea to make him a cake.”

“Ah yes,” Phil said. He hadn’t even thought of making Technoblade a cake, even though such things were indeed customary at birthday parties. “Cakes are great for birthday parties. I would have made him one myself, of course, but I am not much of a cake maker, and more of a fireworks maker.”

“Cakes are good for birthday parties,” Nikki agreed. “and I am sure you are great at firework making.”

Phil also realized that Nikki had remembered Technoblade’s birthday before he had remembered it. Nikki didn’t need to know that, she was on a need-to-know basis, if you will. “I, too, have remembered Technoblade’s birthday, as all good and proper friends should, and I have decided that we should wake him up for his birthday at three o’ clock this afternoon.” He smelled the cake and looked very closely, but not too closely, at the purple icing that Nikki had just pulled out of her pantry. “Would you like to come to the party?”

“Of course,” said Nikki, “Have you already told Ranboo? I’m sure he would be devastated to miss out on it.”

“Yes, I did,” said Phil, “And I think we all would be.”

They stood there for a moment, thinking about how much everyone in the Syndicate cared about Technoblade, and how they had all grown incredibly fond of him, and how they would be devastated to miss out on such an Occasion as his birthday.

After they had given it a moment of consideration, Phil helped Nikki finish baking her cakes. Then he helped her carry them up to the cottage, and Nikki helped Phil set up a table outside with chairs, including one for Steve, and generally prepared for the birthday party. Ranboo, having never attended a party before, was practically buzzing with excitement, and talking to each of them very loudly about what he thought it might be like, and how much fun they were going to have.

At last, the party was all set up, and they went to poke Technoblade to get him to wake up from hibernation.

“Surprise!” They all said together when he opened his eyes, “Happy birthday!”

“Oh!” said Technoblade, struggling to stay awake, “Is it my birthday today?”

“Yes,” said Nikki, “You told me that June 1st is your birthday.”

“So it is,” confessed Technoblade.

“How old are you turning?” Nikki asked innocently.

Technoblade paused for a moment trying to remember.

“Ninety-seven,” he responded finally. This was not how old he was.

Fortunately, nobody asked him anymore questions about it and they all went outside to have cake and look at fireworks.

Nikki presented her cake with purple icing and cut everyone a slice.

“This is the best cake I’ve ever had,” Technoblade said, “Where did you get it?”

“I baked them myself,” Nikki said, glowing with happiness, “at my bakery. I’ve been baking again recently.”

“Cake is always better than pie,” Technoblade remarked, and everyone agreed, even Steve. “Except pumpkin pie is alright.”

“I don’t like pumpkin pie,” said Phil, “But I’ve only had it once, so maybe it isn’t that bad.”

“I could make some for you sometime.” Nikki offered, and they all agreed that if Nikki made it then it would probably be the best, and being the best, would be enjoyable even for someone like Phil.

When they had all eaten enough, Philza Minecraft stood up, and everybody stopped talking and were very silent, except Ranboo who had eaten a bite that was a little too large and was having a fit of hiccups.

“This party,” said Philza, “is a party because of our appreciation for someone who we all appreciate very much, and we are celebrating him turning…” Phil couldn’t remember how old Technoblade was either, “one year older.” He felt around underneath the table for his fireworks, “And I have got a present for him.”

Technoblade was very happy and smiling but he tried his best not to look too eager. When he saw what it was though he could not stop himself from smiling so much he was practically glowing.

Phil held up the present, seeing that Techno was happy and knowing that Ranboo’s advice had been very good advice, “They’re fireworks! I have spent all morning working on them, and I think they will be perfect.”

“I bet they will be,” Techno said, and he meant it, knowing that Philza Minecraft’s crafting knowledge far exceeded his own.

Now all of them were very happy, because Technoblade was happy, and Phil loaded some brightly packaged fireworks, lit them, and set them off in a vibrant display of colors against the white snowy backdrop. They made various shapes in the sky and came in different layers, some of them changed from one color to another.

Everyone ooh-ed and ahh-ed.

But Technoblade was confused. The fireworks did Not look special to him, they looked Dull and Patternless. This was very confusing and surprising as they were made by Phil Himself. But everyone else was ooh-ing and ahh-ing, and it seemed like the right thing to do, so he did it politely along with them.

After Phil had already set off three of his special fireworks, Nikki noticed that Techno looked confused and said, “Technoblade, can you see the fireworks?”

“Well, I can see the colors a little,” he admitted sheepishly, not wanting to upset Phil, who he was sure had worked very hard on them.

“That doesn’t sound right,” said Phil, “you should be seeing the colors a lot not just a little.”

“You’ve forgotten your glasses,” Nikki pointed out.

“Oh,” said Techno, now feeling very silly.

Ranboo saw an opportunity to be helpful even without knowing what a Birth Day party was. “I’ll go get them for you.” He ran into the house and back very quickly and handed Technoblade his glasses.

“Thank you Ranboo,” Technoblade said. Everything looked sharper now, he could see the snowflakes and Ranboo’s large enderman eyes much more clearly.

“Let’s try again,” Phil said, and he set off a few more of his fireworks and they all ooh-ed and ahhh-ed, and Technoblade did not have to fake it as he could actually see them this time, and they were beautiful, and everything that one would expect from Philza himself.

Since this was everything they had planned to do, everyone talked for a little while longer, just enjoying each other’s company and laughing. Then they drifted off, after saying their goodbyes, and congratulated Technoblade on his new age, whatever that might be.

But Phil and Techno stayed outside in the snow together for a long time and silently watched the sun set in the distance.

“When you finally wake up after hibernating, Techno,” Phil said at last, “what is the first thing you like to do?”

“I like find out how Steve and you and Ranboo are doing,” Technoblade said. “What do you do, Phil?”

“When I first wake up, I always wonder to myself what exciting thing will happen today.”

Technoblade nodded thoughtfully.

“Yes,” he said, “It’s the same thing.”

#technoblade #philza #nikki #nihachu #the syndicate #dream smp #winnie the pooh au #ranboo #i made another one bc my internet was out all day today #follow @mcytwinniethepoohquotes for more! there are five now :)

164 notes · View notes

sixeyesgojo · 3 years

Text

Pictures of You

Summary: prequel to I’ll Be Your Enemy - fluffy!

Characters: IBYE!Reader, Gojo, Yuji, Megumi, Nobara

Word count: 2,3k

Content warning: none

A/N: requested by @thecaptainsbride

If anybody got the reference Gojo made when he was late; congratulations, you have been successfully hurt (but this time it was not me).

Since I left the relationship between Gojo and the reader up for interpretation in IBYE, I will do the same here! Consider this piece me trying to mend your hearts <3

Taglist applications open for anyone who is interested!

“A trip to an amusement park or something like that doesn’t sound so bad,” you mused in front of Satoru. “It serves as relaxation and maybe the first-years can get closer to each other, you know, bonding and so on. They will see each other many times from now on, so getting along with each other is important,” you reasoned, your eyes almost sparkling from the thought of a day off.

“But Jujutsu Sorcery is an individual–” he began.

“Satoru, I think you should see this as vacation. A vacation where you can eat sweets until your teeth rot and absolutely nobody will hold you back,” you interrupted him.

“Okay, I am sold. Am listening now.” You just knew how to convince him. Sweets.

So that was exactly how the first-year students and you ended up at a fairground somewhere in Tokyo; it was quite neat, not too small but not too spacious either. None of you could get lost in it. Still, it was buzzing with life and all kinds of people mingled. The colorfulness was a refreshing sight to take in, compared to the dark world of Jujutsu Sorcery where seeing people suffer was your daily routine. The pleasant smell of food wafted through the air, making your mouth water, as you walked past the different booths with them. Waffles sounded like absolute heaven on earth right now.

Jujutsu Sorcery certainly was a draining sport, mentally as well as physically. Therefore it was only right to take a break at times, right? Self-care days were just as important as working.

In order to wind down a bit, you had suggested a one-day trip – just you, Satoru and the three first-year students you had adopted in your mind right away after meeting them several times.

“Sensei, you look very pretty today!” Yuji complimented you. Even Megumi noticed: “Did you have a haircut? Your hair seems a little bit shorter.”

“Yeah, Nobara had a field day with me. Cutting my hair.. or more like trimming the ends, choosing my outfit, doing my make-up and so on just for today,” you gushed as if you were a high school girl again. “Leave it to master stylist Kugisaki Nobara and nobody will ever look bad,” the brunette girl commended herself. Yuji was affectionately patting her on the back.

Undoubtedly, Satoru was late – nobody was surprised about that. You already went ahead and generously treated the trio of students you loved dearly to some food.

“Thank you for the food, sensei!” As usual, Yuji and Nobara were in perfect harmony with each other, seemingly sharing a brain.

“Thank you very much,” Megumi also expressed his thanks sweetly. If you hadn’t known better, you would have thought the way his lips seemed to twitch was unintentional. “Absolutely no problem, kiddos. You guys enjoy it while I try to contact Gojo-sensei, yeah?” you shot them an apologetic smile, already fishing out your phone. The three of them nodded in perfect synchronization. They’re as cute as little ducklings, you thought.

You didn’t even need to bother calling.

You were about to dial Satoru’s number on your smartphone when Yuji’s voice boomed, “Oh! There he is! Gojo-sensei, we are here!!”

The boy waved at his teacher.

Satoru immediately spotted the pink-haired student and skipped over to where you all were standing. “Sorry for the wait! I’m afraid I got lost on the path of life!!”

“Nice of you to finally join us, but sadly, the fun is already over and we decided to go home. Just wanted to call you to let you know! We’ve been here since morning,” you deadpanned as the white-haired man arrived, looking Satoru dead in the eye – if they weren’t covered. “Wait, wha– Hold on, I am very sure I am not that late. MY MOCHI?” Satoru sounded frantic, facing his students who just shrugged their shoulders. “Serves you right,” Megumi stated calmly. Nobara, being the sassy girl she was, also joined in, “Losers don’t get to have fun and that’s a fact.”

It was such a wholesome and funny moment for you to see the students playing along with your prank without being told beforehand.

You broke out in laughter, not being able to contain it any longer, “You should have seen your face, dumbass! I was just joking!”

“Phew, I almost thought I had to kiss the idea of eating sweets today goodbye. What a horror that would be, my day would be OVER this instant,” the blindfolded man pouted, “so where should I buy my sweets? I’m gonna buy the entire place anyway, but where do I start? Any suggestions for Great Teacher Gojo?”

“Hold up, Satoru! We gotta take a picture together to commemorate this special day!” you suggested, bouncing up and down with enthusiasm. “I swear I just saw sensei’s eyes sparkle but I might be wrong,” Yuji remarked, looking at his dark-haired friend for confirmation.

“Sensei, if you want to take a picture, we have to take it at the right angle!” Nobara chimed in, the secret Instagram influencer in her on full display. She continued to explain, “It would come out great if Gojo-sensei took the pic, long arms privilege and so on.”

The female student almost seemed more into it than you were, it was adorable to you to see the usually bold student be this into taking pictures.

You hand the tall man your phone, but not without shooting him a “if you drop my phone, I’ll make you drop dead” look.

“Okay, ladies, now let’s get in formation,” the male teacher commanded loudly. Upon hearing that, Megumi immediately slapped his hand in his face and turned away in embarrassment. Why was this man like this?

“...Ladies?” Yuji asked, the expression on his face screaming ‘confusion’ “Gojo-sensei just referenced a Beyoncé song, Itadori,” the dark-haired boy explained in a hushed tone, turning back slightly as if he did not want to get caught.

“And it’s not just any song!” Satoru happily chimed in. “Yes, yes, the good old Formation,” you added, nodding in satisfaction. You remember how you showed him the album when it dropped.

“Can we all just ignore Gojo-sensei and take our pic?” Nobara inquired as she shoved everybody into their respective spots. “Alright, everybody, smiiiiile for the camera. Say cheese!”

Click, click, click, click.

Finally, Satoru had gotten his share of sweets. Complying with his sweet tooth was always an effective way to calm him for some time. Almost like feeding a baby, in a way.

Now it was time for fun rides!

...or at least that was what you thought… until Satoru dragged you along to ride a freaking pendulum ride with him. The three students had managed to talk themselves out of stepping foot on that monster of a ride but Satoru didn’t even give you a chance to refuse, he simply gripped your arm and walked towards it.

Stopping only when you were already standing in line, you nervously eyed the metallic behemoth with its iron arm. The monstrosity was seemingly ready to make you throw up from the way it would spin you through the air repeatedly, going back and forth and back and forth again. Why did you have to do this?

“Satoru,” you called his name timidly and tugged at his sleeve, the strange feeling not leaving your gut, “do I really, really have to do this?”

“Absolutely! I promise it will be very fun,” Satoru replied with a signature grin you wanted to wipe off of his face at that moment.

No, it was not fun. At all. You were dizzy and your fear of height was kicking. The blasts of air hitting your face left, right and center were not helping at all and you were sure, if anybody took a picture of you right now, you would look horribly green.

“I– can’t do this anymore!” you shouted mid-air, right before the ride swung to the other side. The force knocked the air out of you once again.

“SATORU, PLEASE GET US OUT OF HERE!” you begged and squeezed his arm with an iron grip. The height was too overwhelming. “Mid-ride?” Satoru asked and you nodded frantically. “Now that’s what I call reckless! Sounds like fun. I’m in!” he declared with a grin.

“Domain Expansion: Infinite Void.”

That was the last thing you heard the tall man say before he touched your head with his large palm.

Your eyes widened in horror as you realized this man used his domain this recklessly, for fun. Maybe it was a side effect of being able to use it multiple times a day.

The infinity gently wrapped itself around Satoru and you. Almost movie-like, you watched as the entire, vast universe beautifully unfolded in front of your eyes. Each star being created separately, then abruptly flashing by as a sea of stars – as if you were in a wormhole. You perceived the entire domain within a flash of a moment, yet tasted eternity in it. Everything but nothing at once.

Despite being touched by Satoru himself, the sensations weren’t without merit. If this was how it felt to be in the safe space of Satoru’s touch within his inner world of Limitless, you would rather not fathom how it felt to be the one hit by this powerful domain.

It took you some time to process things and recollect.

“When I said I wanted you to get the two of us out of that thing, I didn’t mean ‘send me to your domain’,” you scolded him.

“Well, it was convenient,” he defended himself and you could almost hear the grin on his face, “Bet you’ll hate me after this though.”

“Hating you was never really an option I’d ever consider but okay, we’ll run with it this time. Now undo your domain, please, while I am asking nicely.”

“Your wish is my command! This time at least.”

“Satoru.” A stern last warning fell from your lips.

“Yes, yes, boss. On it.”

“I thought you said it’ll be fun but I am absolutely not riding that thing ever again,” you took deep breaths to calm down as your feet securely touched the ground again. Your legs were still trembling a bit.

“And it was fun! At least for me! I like seeing you struggle – it’s so funny – and the way you clung to my arm? Adorable! You are so tiny compared to me, like a bug I could crush between my fingers!” The annoying sorcerer laughed merrily.

“Gojo fucking Satoru, the only thing that is about to be crushed here are your balls. With my leg. You are very lucky to have that damn Infinity of yours or else,” you threatened.

“Ouch, you really do know how to hurt an invincible man,” he snickered and flicked your forehead lightly.

Rejoining with the students was easy as they all saw the barrier Satoru’s domain created.

“You are lucky there was some kind of show going on down here. That barrier above would have freaked people out if they weren’t distracted,” Nobara said, looks shooting daggers at her weird teacher. Innocent and as nice as ever, Yuji pitched in as well: “Yeah, Fushiguro also tried to distract children with their wandering eyes! I think he did a good job.”

“Okay but what did he do though?” you asked curiously and looked at the boy in question.

“...Shadow puppets,” Megumi slowly admitted, looking anywhere but at the people in front of him.

“Oh? You love your foster-dad-turned-great-teacher this much to embarrass yourself out in public? That’s new!” Satoru teased the poor boy. “Someone has to be the voice of reason around here or you’d all be in jail. That includes preventing civilians who are able to see curses from seeing you use Jujutsu while floating mid-air,” he justified, ignoring the tall teacher’s mockery completely.

“As much as I love slandering Gojo-sensei, I’d rather spend my day actually having fun,” Nobara pitched in, reminding everybody of why you were here in the first place.

“So, let’s go ride the ferris wheel!” she added excitedly.

More fun rides.

Before you knew it, the day passed by. You could already feel the heaviness in your legs from walking. The swirling feeling from all the rides boded in your chest – you probably would not be able to sleep well tonight. It was definitely worth it though, you thought.

You had already brought the students back to their dorm – Satoru had ran off to the school because he remembered he had to do something – and were on the way home yourself.

You were in some sort of trance, completely immersed in your phone, so you hadn’t registered when Satoru called your name until he gently tapped your shoulder, falling into step with you.

“Yeah?” you looked up to Satoru, snapping out of your train of thought.

“Just wanted to tell you; ‘Operation: Relaxation Day’ was a great success.”

“I’m glad to hear that, Satoru.” A genuine smile graced your lips and for a moment, he softened at the sight.

“You know what? It was amazing, I really should start listening to you more often,” he confessed with a smirk.

“Well, it’s thanks to your amazing power of persuasion that we got to spend it like this, so thanks for today,” you half-heartedly complimented him.

“You do know I only said we’d not be available today and then dashed, right?” he asked you, the usual playful tone lacing his voice. “Exactly what I meant by saying ‘your amazing power of persuasion’.”

“I think I’ll frame the picture we took,” you murmured softly, fondly looking at the screen of your phone. The picture from earlier was displayed on your homescreen.

Surely, you would hang it on the blank wall in your home as well. It was a personal treasure now.

Taglist (dm me if you wanna be added): @assbuttbaek @megumifushi @bleueluna @gojos-mochi @delammi

#gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #gojo x y/n #domain expansion #infinite void #ibye series

207 notes · View notes

misssunflowersandsangria · 4 years

Text

How Lovely Are

Hello my lights! I have a quick fluffy holiday story. I was going to wait till it was closer to Christmas but I think we all collectively need some happy holiday fluff. I’m tagging this as a modern AU but it could occur in the Narutoverse with some adjustments.

Summary: Christmas was rapidly approaching and a last-minute purchase at a flower shop would completely change Sai’s life.

** How Lovely Are

Ino happily rearranged the flowers humming a familiar tune as she worked. Working at the family flower store had always been one of her favorite jobs, but especially during this time of the year. She always took great care making the arrangements that would be the centerpieces for so many wonderful celebrations. It was like putting a little bit of herself into what she created. It was almost the big day so it was simultaneously slowing down while speeding up. There were just a few orders left to fulfill but not too many being placed. The shop itself was pretty quiet after a morning rush so now it was just her, the flowers, and Christmas music. A pretty perfect afternoon if you were to ask her.

“Welcome,” She announced after hearing the bell at the door jingle.

She turned to look at the customer before stopping dead in her tracks. He was gorgeous, tall, pale skin with deep, ink colored eyes.

He brushed the snowflakes from his coat before looking up his eyes widening in surprise.

“Hello.”

She cleared her throat before finding her voice. “Hi, welcome. Is there something I can help you find?”

“Yes, this might be an odd request but do you happen to sell Christmas trees here?”

She shook her head. “No, unfortunately, we don’t.”

“Oh, it was a long shot anyway. I’ve just returned home and being so close to the holiday most places have sold out. Thank you…”

“Ino.”

“Thank you Ino, I’m Sai. I guess that I’ll be going-”

“Wait, uhm. Give me a second.” She panicked at the idea of him leaving so quickly from the store and subsequently out of her life.

Ino ran to the back where she had decorated the office in a slew of ornaments and holiday cheer. She grabbed the small tree from the desk hoping that the handsome man wouldn’t think it was an odd choice.

“Here.” She pushed the potted tree into his hands and he gazed surprised at the small decorated plant.

Ino began to feel foolish at his stare. She knew it wasn’t exactly what he was looking for.

“I’m sorry, I know that it’s not very large. It’s probably not what you’re looking for-”

“No, Ino, thank you. This is perfect.” He assured her genuinely grateful for the tiny tree in his hands.

She was floored by the sincere gratitude. “You’re welcome.”

“Is this for a party or a dinner?” She asked curiously hoping that it wasn’t a gift for a significant other.

“No, I'm not typically home during this time of the year so this is somewhat unprecedented. I’ll just be by myself so I thought that it would be good to have some decorations to make it a little less lonely.”

“Come to my house!” The sadness and heartbreak in his striking eyes led to the impromptu invitation.

He looked at her surprised. “Ino?”

“Come celebrate with me. My parents are a little ridiculous, and we celebrate with my aunts and uncles too. There’s a lot of food and everyone probably has a drinking problem. It’s loud and messy but it’s fun in that kind of chaotic way. No one should be alone during this time of the year.” Family time was inescapable during the holidays but she knew that she was luckier than most. It was impossible to imagine the season without her family and their precious traditions.

Sai gazed at her curiously completely floored by the invitation. The plan to get a Christmas tree was completely on a whim. He didn’t want to admit but he’d been staring at couples and families longingly as they rushed through the town buying gifts or heading to their celebrations. It made him want some semblance of warmth and holiday cheer. He couldn’t have ever expected the gorgeous blonde offering to spend such a special season with him. It was by far the kindest gesture that had ever been extended to him.

Part of him wanted to politely decline as socializing had never been his strong suit. The idea though of disappointment in her dazzling blue eyes would be far worse than any awkwardness he might have to endure.

“Thank you Ino, I would love that.”

Sai surveyed the annual Christmas dinner. It hadn’t changed too much over the years. It was still far too loud, everyone most definitely had a drinking problem but it was warm and familiar and represented the best part of the holidays. His son was busy playing with his new toys along with Shikadai and ChouChou.

He recalled fondly that first Christmas that he and Ino had spent together. Everyone had welcomed him in with open arms teasing Ino that it was about time that she’d brought someone home. Her two closest friends had been bringing along their significant others for years now and were happy to ease Sai in. He loved all the traditions, helped where he could, and participated in the family games. All the while Ino laughed and celebrated alongside him. It made him realize just how much he’d been missing. And how badly he wanted to hold onto that feeling.

In just a few years he’d gone from being completely alone and now he had his own family and was a Yamanaka. In addition, he gained a huge extended family. They were all far too close and way too invested in each other’s lives. And he couldn’t imagine life without them. Ino had given him everything that he’d never allowed himself to believe could be his.

On the table was a small potted, decorated Christmas tree. It had become a tradition of his to bring one along.

Ino slid up next to him and his arm wrapped tightly around her.

He kissed the top of her head affectionately thanking life and the universe for giving him the greatest gift that he could have ever asked for. His wife, their son, and this family. A kind of holiday miracle if there ever was one. “Merry Christmas Sai.”

“Thank you Beautiful.”

“You know I still owe you a gift.” He peered at her, they’d both agreed not to get each other gifts, which of course he didn’t follow.

“My love I have everything that I could ever want.” She grinned knowing that he genuinely meant that.

Those sky blue eyes that he adored took on a joyful quality. “Well, this one might take about 9 months to come?” His eyes widened in realization.

“Really?” He asked, surprised with tears lining his eyes.

She nodded brushing away her own tears. “We’re going to have another baby.” Saying it out loud made it all the more real.

Sai gathered her into his arms. Excitement and joy hitting him all at once. Early in his life, he couldn’t have imagined having a wife, let alone a son. Now he would be a father of two. It was worth it all to be at this point.

“Mommy, is daddy okay?” Ino nodded while picking up Inojin.

“He’s just happy Jin. How do you feel about being a big brother?” She asked her son affectionately brushing his hair back.

Inojin stared not quite sure how to respond. “So I would have someone to play with all the time?”

“Yes, you’ll get to watch over and help us take care of the baby.”

“I guess that’s okay then. Shikadai seems to like Yoshika even though she’s little and can’t do anything. I bet that I’ll be an even better big brother than he is.”

Ino and Sai smiled hugging him tightly. “I’m sure you will baby.”

Once they told Inojin the word spread and her parents were inconsolable as tears rained down from their eyes. Inoichi was joyful beyond compare at the idea of his baby having another baby. Being a grandfather had easily become his favorite role. He’d become jealous that Shikaku had two grandchildren and had been dropping not so subtle hints that the Yamanakas needed to catch up. Their family was growing and everyone was excited at the idea of a new baby joining them next year.

Mikino came into the world like a soft gentle snow. Ice blue eyes that looked as striking as a snowflake, with jet black hair. She was happy, playful, and a true reflection of the meaning of her name. She was already a daddy’s girl. If she cried or fussed one hug from her father was enough to ease those tears and Sai adored his baby girl.

Inojin was so much like his mother, Fierce, intelligent, loyal, and strong. Sai wondered if his daughter might take after him. Perhaps she’d be more quiet, contemplative, and grow to be as gorgeous as her mother. He never imagined he could love anyone more than Ino and now with his two children, he easily discovered that his heart could carry so much more.

That first Christmas Inojin held Mikino showing her the brightly colored lights on the tree. The lights reflected in her deep eyes as she curiously took in all the new sights and sounds.

“When you’re bigger Miki you can help me decorate the tree. It’s a big deal in our family.” Inojin explained to his little sister as he showed her the ornament he’d painted to commemorate her first Christmas with them.

Ino held onto her husband, both of them quiet and thoughtful watching Inojin and Mikino. This time of the year had always been Ino’s favorite but her family brought her joy all year long.

She kissed Sai as the images of shared holidays and happy times played in her head. He always thanked her for welcoming him into her life. For bringing him a certain kind of completion. He never quite understood that he’d done the same for her.

Peace, love, and joy all present in that room. Who knew that a search for a tree could have led to all of this?

I hope that a handsome man comes into your place of business, sweeps you off your feet and you live happily ever after :D

Also, everyone say welcome to my new OC, Mikino, Sai, and Ino’s baby girl. If you’ve read my story “Nursery Rhyme,” that introduced my OC Yoshika, Shikamaru and Temari’s daughter. I haven’t written anything yet but Chouji and Karui also have a daughter and her name is Chouchi. They are a badass all-girls team of InoShikaCho. I hc that they all go by nicknames, Miki, Yoshi, and Chi. Maybe one day I’ll expand on this idea but for now, let’s all just imagine Sai having a sweet daughter.

Last year I did a 12 days of Christmas thing for InoShikaCho, “My True Love Gave to Me,” but I don’t know that I can do that again this year, but we will see. (If ya’ll have some cute fluffy holiday prompt ideas message me :D)

Thank you for reading my loves! I know it’s crazy this year and things are really tough for a lot of people so I hope that you can find some joy and light in all of the chaos. Love you all.

28 notes · View notes

peterstanslizzie · 4 years

Text

Reacting To: Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (Season 3 Episode 10)

This is it people! The series finale of Kipo; Let’s get to it.

Episode Title: Age of Wonderbeasts

Spoiler Warning: Kindly proceed if you’ve already seen the episode or are able to handle spoilers

Hopefully she’s getting dressed for her funeral lol

1. Continuing on from last episode, the fireworks rigged with the cure goes off and a bunch of embers start falling from the sky. One of the Humming Bombers got into contact with one of them while attempting to flee and immediately de-mutes. I thought the cure needed to go into their bloodstream? Unless, the ember actually burned through their skin. It that’s the case, wow that’s dark....

It’s awesome that Earl and Lily are helping Molly since Molly saved their children awhile back.

2. With her quick thinking, Kipo asks everyone to find shelter underneath her as she transforms into her Mega Jaguar form. However, that’s still not enough to protect everyone but luckily, the good humans step up to shield them with table cloths, which was heartwarming to see.

The mutes are thanking the humans for their act of kindness

OMG. Lio and Song hugging Scarlemagne? I’m here for it.

3. Thankfully, the fireworks ended and Kipo then pleads with Emilia one last time to stop what she’s doing. Emilia, hard-headed as ever isn’t one to back down at all and makes a drastic decision to inject herself with the mutagen she sourced from the Mega Walrus, transforming herself into one ugly Mega Mute.

Imagine seeing this in real life...shudders

4. I thought she was going to use the Mega Walrus’s DNA to make another cure that would affect Kipo. I didn’t think she would do this to herself. Kipo transforms back to her Mega form to take on Emilia before she could potentially hurt anyone.

How many Troyson kisses do we want? Yes...hehe

5. Troy and Benson are directing everyone back to find safety inside the old burrow while Wolf joins Kipo to assist her in battling Emilia. Kipo has the upper hand at first because Emilia isn’t used to being a Mega Mute. However, as the fight progresses, Emilia is starting to get better and is landing some solid hits on Kipo. But I feel like Kipo shouldn’t be losing to Emilia since she has much more experience fighting as a Mega. I guess they want us to feel like the stakes are high.

Man, this fight is actually pretty brutal. Emilia is whooping major jaguar ass here.

6. During the battle, Wolf notices Greta nearby and thinks that she has the cure to turn back Emilia into a human. So, hopefully they can steal the cure from Greta and use it as leverage to get Emilia to stop. They split up with Wolf going after Greta and Kipo continuing to fight off Emilia.

7. After taking a couple more punches, we see three of the Mega Dogs, the Mega Pigeon and the Mega Beaver heading their way towards the fight, with Jamack, Molly, Hoag, Amy, Zane, Label, Lio, Song, Scarlemagne, Dave, Benson and Mandu riding on them. I stan such supportive friends!

8. They each take turns kicking Emilia’s butt to buy Kipo some time to recover. Side note: It’s so cool that Jamack tells Emilia to do some “soul searching”! That’s literally the same line Kipo used on Jamack in Season 1 when he was an antagonist back then. During all of this, we see Emilia beginning to have some inner turmoil; It looks like she’s starting to lose herself in her current form.

9. We get to round 2 of Wolf vs Greta and it looks like the tables might turn in favor of Wolf but Greta is just too beefy for her to take on. While being held down in a pin, Wolf tries to butter her up with words by telling her that she’s not an idiot and she can think for herself, without the influence of Emilia. She also bribes her with all the pancakes she can eat if she hands over the cure to her and just like that, she agrees to hand it over. It’s so ironic that Greta is one of Emilia’s last followers but she’s so easily influenced to switch sides.

Again, I don’t get why Kipo is losing to Emilia so badly

10. Kipo is down for the count and Emilia turns her attention to her friends/family. As she’s about to crush Lio and Song, Kipo charges in last minute to take the devastating blow for them; She then falls unconscious. However, Emilia’s not done yet.

Scarlemagne’s death in 3...2...1

11. Oh no...here we go. Scarlemagne decides to play hero by making his attempt at saving Kipo. He basically gives his swan song to Lio and Song. I have a bad feeling he’s going to die and I’m not at all prepared to watch. He takes off on his favorite Flamingo vehicle from Season 1 and 2 and flies towards Emilia to distract her.

We haven’t heard this laugh in ages. Also, did anyone get chills when he tells Emilia to “leave her sister alone”?

12. He crashes his vehicle into Emilia causing her to lose focus and it sets off her ‘losing herself to the mega mute’ phase. This in turn, causes Scarlemagne to crash land somewhere in Skyscraper Ridge. Was it necessary for him to crash like that? If that’s the way he goes out, I’m gonna be honest here and say I would be very disappointed with that.

13. Emilia, who clearly is out of it runs off somewhere and Kipo, Wolf, Dave, Benson and Mandu all go after her with Lio and Song heading towards where Hugo/Scarlemagne crash landed. We then see the artistic representation of Emilia losing her mind to the mute, where her human form is quickly sinking deeper and deeper into the ocean.

14. They catch up to Emilia and they could see her being distraught. We also know the reason why she’s this way and it’s because she doesn’t have an anchor. I love it how whatever explanation we’re being told by the characters is something that the audience should know based on past episodes. Now that’s good storytelling.

15. Anyways, Kipo makes the decision to cure her because she thinks she doesn’t deserve to be punished this way. Really now? After all that she’s done? Maybe what Kipo means is that she deserves get whopped in her human form lol. After curing her, Kipo makes ANOTHER ATTEMPT (for the 3rd time) to convince her to make a change but of course this bitch isn’t going to change; She takes a shard of glass and tries to stab Kipo:

16. But our girl, Mandu quickly reacts and bites Emilia’s arm. She then loses her balance and falls stories high in the exact burrow her lab was located because we then see Fun Gus capturing her and taking her in as her “playdate”. Emilia is basically history.

17. Yesss! And this punishment is fitting since she will probably be Fun Gus’s plaything till she goes insane and dies. Not to mention she despises mutes. So, it’s a great way for her to go out. Bye!!! That’s what you get for killing your brother, you heartless monster. Can I also point out that once again, Mandu is the one to take out Emilia. She did beat her in season 2 when Wolf, Dave and Benson couldn’t and now in season 3, she’s the one to finish the job. Don’t mess with Mandu lol.

18. They head back to find where Scarlemagne, Lio and Song are but it’s almost too late because Hugo is dying. Kipo is in tears and I’m in tears too. Again, was it really necessary to kill him off? I felt like he’s more or less already redeemed as a character before this. He didn’t have to commit such a heroic act, which had cost his life. Ugh....And just like that, Hugo dies.....UGHHHHHH. I really don’t think he needed to die. If Catra (who committed just as many heinous acts, if not more than Hugo) got to live in She-Ra & The Princesses of Power, Hugo deserves to live too. I’m sorry...

19. Now it’s time for the epilogue set 5 years later, as told by an older Kipo. Let’s break it down:

Wolf’s Mega Corgi gave birth to a litter of puppies. Awww cuteness...

Wolf let her hair grow out and she looks AMAZING!!! Dayummmm

Benson and Troy own a successful restaurant together and they’re living the dream. Such domestic goals!

I got chills seeing Wolf and Benson walking side by side like that. They’ve grown up so much. It looks like they’re own their way to a picnic

Label and Zane is also running a gym together. Sweet!

Jamack is conductor for Las Vistas’s new transport system.

Dave is now a guest lecturer at what is seems to be Lio and Song’s new research lab, where he talks about some of his research findings and theories. Well, mostly theories.

I love Kipo’s new do’

20. We find out that Kipo is updating Hugo (spiritually) what has everybody been up to on his birthday.

Hugo gets a statue made in his honor, which is very fitting and Mandu...WOW MANDU has grown into an ADULT boar, with tusks and everything just like Bornak and Webber.

21. Kipo meets up with her besties and her family and they have their wonderful picnic in commemoration of Hugo’s birthday.

22. The scene cuts off to all of them having the time of their life riding on their Mega mutes. And that’s the official ending to the series. TEARS...

23. This has been an amazing show to watch, react and review. I can’t believe it only had 30 episodes but the story was so cohesive and felt complete on the most part. So you could say that this show wrapped up nicely. There are some loose ends that weren’t addressed/resolved at the end like the vaccine that Song and Lio were working on but I guess that could be something that’s explored further in future films hopefully.

24. I will also be making a couple of video essays that will be posted to my YouTube channel, PeterSaidWhat; The first one will be my full spoiler review of the final season and the second video will be Troyson-focused. I can’t wait for all of you to watch them. And finally, I want to thank you all for reading my episodic reviews and going on this incredible journey with me. It’s been a pleasure to have Kipo be a part of my life and I’m sure yours as well.

Much love,

Peter

36 notes · View notes

yamayamawrites · 4 years

Text

Switched - Part 2

A/N: Hi everyone! I’m so thankful for the wonderful reception to the first part of my fic, Switched! I released part 2 on AO3 (find it here) a few days ago, and I’ve been meaning to upload it here, so here’s part 2! Once again, @amit-crabcrab is wholly responsible for the amazing concept and even better fanart that inspired this fic. Hope you enjoy!!

Waking up in Tsukkishima’s body was no less jarring than it was the day before. Kageyama had been hoping, praying that maybe the entire thing was a nightmare, but when he woke up and couldn’t see five feet in front of him, a scowl formed on his face and he nearly slammed his hands onto the glasses on the bedside table.

He grabbed for Tsukki’s phone and sent a quick text to Tsukkageyama only to be startled half to death when not even a minute later Tsukkageyama pushed the bedroom door open. “My—I mean, your—mom let me in,” he said with a shrug, dropping a bag at the door and closing the door behind him.

“Do you remember that shrine visit?” Kageyama blurted. Tsukkageyama raised an eyebrow at him.

“That was over a month ago. I thought of that, too,” Tsukkageyama admitted. “But I don’t think it’s that.”

“Well that’s the only thing that makes any sense in my mind,” Kageyama replied with a defeated shrug. “But whatever.”

“Can you please put some actual clothes on?” Tsukkageyama said in a mock-disgusted tone. “I’m sitting here looking at myself shirtless and it’s kind of uncomfortable.”

Kageyama stuck out his tongue, but he obliged, throwing his legs off the side of the bed and standing. He still wasn’t used to this new lanky height and found himself stumbling a bit with his first few steps. I probably look like a toddler, he thought with a grimace, but Tsukkageyama didn’t comment. He threw on some clothes for the day, somehow not even minding that Tsukkageyama was watching, because after all it was his body, not Kageyama’s.

“So, you and Hinata,” Tsukkageyama whistled as Kageyama flopped back down onto the bed. “Can’t say I didn’t see it coming.”

“Shut up,” Kageyama growled back. “You and Yamaguchi are together too.”

“We have been for almost a year,” Tsukkageyama responded, idly picking at Kageyama’s pristine fingernails. “Pretty much everyone knows.”

“Is that why you freaked out so much when I said that last night on the phone?” Kageyama sneered, watching himself—Tsukkageyama—become flustered once again. Even though Tsukki wasn’t in his own body, it still felt strange to see him this nervous and jumpy. Kageyama thought that despite the cool demeanor Tsukkageyama wore, he really was terrified of their current situation.

“Okay, so maybe not everyone knows. I’d like you to keep it a secret,” Tsukkageyama refused to look over at Kageyama as he spoke.

“Ditto,” Kageyama replied. “Hinata and I haven’t really decided what we are yet, and we wanted to wait until we did to tell anyone…” Kageyama felt backed into a corner. The last person he ever wanted to figure out about his and Hinata’s relationship was, in fact, Tsukkishima, but now he couldn’t help but tell Tsukkageyama the details of their relationship in order for Tsukkageyama to not screw it up.

This whole situation was a hot mess, and Kageyama honestly had no idea how to deal with it. Based on the furrowed brows and scowl on Tsukkageyama’s face, he also had no idea how to deal with the fact that they had switched bodies. After all, this wasn’t really something one could Google and find a WikiHow article on how to reverse a body-switch.

“Where are we going today?” Kageyama asked finally, breaking the tense silence that had fallen between them.

“Well, I told Yamaguchi it would be a surprise,” Tsukkageyama replied with all the vigor of Tsukki. “We could go anywhere.”

“How about a movie?”

“Yamaguchi doesn’t like movie dates. He likes to talk.”

Kageyama scowled. Hinata also didn’t like movie dates because he’d gotten kicked out of so many theaters for making sound effects where he thought they should be in movies. Kageyama had to remind the boy multiple times that when characters kiss, it doesn’t make the “SMOOCHY” sound that Hinata always emphasized.

“Dinner?” Tsukkageyama suggested. “I mean, it’s not ideal, but—”

Kageyama’s phone rang. Tsukkageyama picked it up and immediately groaned. “It’s Shrimpy,” he grumbled.

“Well, answer it!”

“He calls you too damn much.”

“Answer the phone!”

Somehow Kageyama didn’t even have to ask for Tsukkageyama to put the phone on speaker mode. He really just wanted to hear Hinata’s voice, the way he talked to him and only him. It sounded sappy, but that was because it was, and Kageyama didn’t mind being sappy when it came to that little ball of sunshine.

“Ka-ge-ya-ma!” Hinata sang into the phone. “Are we hanging out today?”

“Yes,” Tsukkageyama groaned. Kageyama sent him a warning glare.

“Okay, because there’s this super cool festival happening right now! It’s kind of small but there’s food carts and a few games and stuff—”

“Okay.”

“Gwaah!”

“That’s not a real word.”

Kageyama sent Tsukkageyama a warning kick to the side. Both of them flinched.

“I’m on my way to your house now!”

“Wait – Hinata,” Tsukkageyama suddenly had a look of panic on his face.

“Yes?”

“I’ll…meet you there. I’m not home right now.”

“Where could Kageyama be at such an early hour?” Hinata hummed on the other side of the phone, and Kageyama really wanted to grab the phone from Tsukkageyama’s hand and tell him everything, tell him how they switched bodies and how much he missed Hinata—but Tsukkageyama had just mumbled a “you’ll see” into the phone and hung up.

“Here’s the plan,” Tsukkageyama spoke sternly to Kageyama now. “We’re going to go shopping. You’re going to tell me what Shrimpy likes, and I’m going to tell you what Yamaguchi likes. We’re going to suck it up and play good boyfriends, and after that we’ll deal with…this situation.” He gestured between the two of them.

“Right.” Kageyama wasn’t used to Tsukkageyama taking charge like this. The only time Tsukki had ever taken charge like this was during a match, when he was timing out blocks, and even then he simply said “ready, and”. There was never an explicit plan laid out like he’d just done. He watched Tsukkageyama fidget – something that Kageyama had never seen Tsukki do – and knew that Yamaguchi must be special to him, for him to be this worried about everything.

That’s not to say Kageyama wasn’t worried, because he was. But his and Hinata’s relationship was new, and while Kageyama would love to have kissed Hinata the night before and not Yamaguchi, he knew that Tsukki and Yamaguchi were practically inseparable, and that this must be hell for Tsukkageyama.

Did he actually feel bad for that asshole?

He didn’t have long to dwell on whether or not the feeling in his chest was frustration that he couldn’t see Hinata or frustration that Tsukkageyama couldn’t spend time with Yamaguchi. Tsukkageyama pushed himself up off the bed and grabbed his bag. “Let’s go,” he said without looking back at Kageyama.

***

Shopping with Tsukkageyama, as much as Kageyama hated to admit it, was kind of fun. Tsukkageyama had a habit of mumbling comments about other shoppers, saying things like “she really wore that out in public?” and “he looks like he doesn’t know how to use a hairbrush.” Kageyama would snicker behind his hand, admittedly practicing to play the role of Tsukkishima later during their double date.

As they idly walked around the store, looking for things to get each other’s boyfriends, they devised a plan. Kageyama had to pick Yamaguchi up, so Kageyama would text Tsukkageyama when they were on their way to the festival. Tsukkageyama and Hinata would buy lunch at a nearby stand and sit at a table in clear sight from the direction that Kageyama and Yamaguchi would be coming from. Once Hinata spotted Kageyama (Tsukkishima) and Yamaguchi, there was not doubt in either of their minds that Hinata would wave them over, and the group would – like magic – be on a double date.

That was the hope, anyways, as Kageyama picked out a small crow stuffed animal and gave it to Tsukkageyama. “Hinata loves stuffed animals,” he mumbled, cheeks turning somewhat pink. He hated the feeling of not getting the stuffed animal for Hinata himself; even since before they were dating, Kageyama treated Hinata to stuffed animals for special occasions. One time, he even found a calico cat plushie to commemorate a training camp with Nekoma.

Tsukkageyama didn’t say anything about Kageyama’s blushing. Instead, he led Kageyama to the flowers aisle. “Yamaguchi really likes flowers and gardening, so, um…just pick some.” Tsukkageyama wore the same frustrated blush Kageyama did as Kageyama tried to decide between two bouquets. Finally, he settled for one with orange and white lilies. The two paid for their respective gifts, and Tsukkageyama gave Kageyama directions to Yamaguchi’s house.

When they parted ways, Kageyama felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. This was really happening, and so much could go wrong in the span of a single day that he felt like his heart might beat out of his chest. He followed Tsukkageyama’s directions carefully (he’d sent them in a text while making fun of Kageyama’s short-term memory) and made it to Yamaguchi’s house much faster than he’d made it home the night before with Tsukkageyama’s directions. He wondered vaguely if Tsukkageyama had been messing with him the night before. Probably, he concluded.

He sent Tsukkageyama a text that he’d made it to Yamaguchi’s house. Just before Kageyama called to say he was outside, Yamaguchi swung open the door, smiling sweetly. “Hey, Tsukki,” he chirped, then looked down and saw the bouquet Kageyama had so carefully carried all the way here. “Oh! Are those for me?”

“Who else would they be for?” Kageyama asked in the most Tsukki tone he could muster; it must have worked, because Yamaguchi giggled and grabbed the bouquet, then planted a kiss on his cheek.

“I’ll go put these in water, then we can go. Where are we going, anyways?”

“You’ll see.”

Somehow, Kageyama felt much more relaxed on their walk to the festival than he had felt the day before. This time he listened to Yamaguchi rattle on, and maybe had he listened the day before he could have gathered just how much Yamaguchi loved to garden; he talked endlessly about the status of a few vegetable plants he was growing, as well as some sunflowers that he said reminded him of Hinata, then laughed. Kageyama smiled at this, thinking once again of Hinata as they turned a corner and headed toward the festival.

“Oh, Tsukki, you said you didn’t like festivals!” Yamaguchi’s face lit up.

“It’s not always about me,” Kageyama responded. He found it easy to act like Tsukki when it was just him and Yamaguchi; he didn’t have a grumpy face that made things like this sound cranky when he said them to Hinata. He decided maybe the best idea for the night was to act like Yamaguchi was Hinata—

But that wouldn’t be happening, he decided, when they saw Hinata and Tsukkageyama sitting together. Hinata had the crow plushie stuffed under his arm, and he wore the absolute cutest summer outfit. Nothing could top the real Hinata, he decided quickly.

As if on cue, Hinata stood and waved the second he saw Yamaguchi and Kageyama (Tsukki). Tsukkageyama turned around and – was that a smile? Yamaguchi waved to the two with a shy smile, then looked up at Kageyama. “Tsukki, did you know they’d be here?”

“N-no,” Kageyama replied. Maybe he wasn’t entirely used to acting like Tsukkishima.

“Yamaguchi, Tsukkishima! Over here!”

When they sat, Yamaguchi let his knees bump against Kageyama’s under the table. Kageyama wondered if this was similar to the nervous tick Hinata had; whenever Hinata was unsure of himself, he would tap his fingers in a certain pattern on Kageyama’s shoulder, palm, whatever was closest. And, if Kageyama was able, he’d get Hinata out of that situation. Again, something they’d been doing long before they started dating.

“What are you guys doing here?” Tsukkageyama asked, trying his best to sound like actual Kageyama.

“Tsukki brought me here,” Yamaguchi replied with a smile over at Kageyama. “We’re on a—”

“Friend date!” Hinata piped up quickly, his cheeks and ears red with embarrassment. “Yup, us too! Right, Kageyama?”

“Oh, um, yeah,” Tsukkageyama nodded. His eyes were trained on Kageyama with a look of subtle horror in his eyes as both of them came to the realization that either they would have to admit they were dating, or they would continue in this unsettling atmosphere.

“How’s your face?” Hinata asked Kageyama, sneering a bit. “Kageyama got you good, didn’t he?”

“Oh—um, it’s fine,” Kageyama struggled, being put under the spotlight far too quickly. “I deserved it.”

That shocked everyone at the table, including Tsukkageyama, who made a quick sputtering noise and shook his head. “No, I’m sorry I did that,” he said finally, and it sounded much too sincere to be coming from either Tsukki or Kageyama.

Kageyama waved it off after the momentary shock and the group instead shifted to discussing some television show that Hinata and Yamaguchi both enjoyed. Hinata was trying to explain the plot to Tsukkageyama while Yamaguchi argued about how the two main characters were obviously in love to Kageyama. Both of them looked at each other from the corners of their eyes, completely confused because neither one of them had seen a single episode of the show.

It became harder and harder for Kageyama to watch Hinata mindlessly drum his fingers on Tsukkageyama’s hand. That should be me, he thought stubbornly, and he didn’t even notice how hard he was glaring until Yamaguchi nudged him with his knee under the table. “Is something wrong?” Yamaguchi asked in a hushed tone, moving his face a bit closer to Kageyama’s.

“N-no, it’s nothing,” Kageyama flushed a bit and felt somewhat guilty. No matter how much he despised Tsukkishima, he’d never want to do something to jeopardize his relationship with Yamaguchi.

“Well, you look angrier than usual. We can go do something else, if you want—”

“Yamaguchi and I are going to go play some games,” Kageyama announced in as bored of a tone as he could muster. Hinata and Tsukkageyama looked over at him, almost quizzically, but soon Kageyama and Yamaguchi were on their feet and heading towards the game stalls.

“I want to play something too, Ka-ge-ya-ma!” Hinata sang in that same way he’d done multiple times already. Tsukkageyama wondered what it would sound like if Yamaguchi said his name in a singsong way like that. He concluded after a moment that it would sound terrible; he liked the nickname Tsukki all too much.

“Bet I can beat you at the ring toss,” Tsukkageyama decided the most Kageyama-like thing to do would be to induce competition.

“Oh, you’re on!” Hinata laughed, a bright and sunny laugh that reminded him of the way Yamaguchi laughed when it was just the two of them. He sighed and glanced around, catching sight of Yamaguchi playing some sort of rubber duck fishing game with Kageyama, their shoulders bumping. Both of them wore wide smiles.

Tsukkageyama had never taken Yamaguchi to a festival, despite knowing just how much his boyfriend enjoyed the people and the food and the sights. He’d never wanted to put himself willingly into that close of proximity with people for fear that they’d somehow read Tsukki’s mind and know that he was gay, and that he was dating his childhood friend. He wasn’t ashamed of Yamaguchi; he was afraid of admitting to anyone (himself, mostly) that he liked men. He loved Yamaguchi with all of his heart, and he wanted to protect Yamaguchi with his life, but still he found it exceedingly difficult to take Yamaguchi on dates where someone else might figure that out.

Hinata and Tsukkageyama bounded towards the ring toss stall, which was just a few stalls down from where Kageyama and Yamaguchi were. Kageyama stood close to Yamaguchi, and every once in a while Yamaguchi would lean up against him and smile up at him like he was the only person there. Tsukkageyama’s heart clutched and he forced himself to look away. He had gotten used to that look being special, being just for him; but he supposed that meant Kageyama was doing a good job playing the part of him, and that should be a good thing, right? Why did he feel so hurt?

“Hey, Kageyama,” Hinata tugged on Tsukkageyama’s sleeve. Some of his mannerisms secretly made Tsukkageyama wonder if maybe Kageyama was just into petite girls and he couldn’t get a girlfriend with his scary face, so he settled for the next best thing.

“What?” Tsukkageyama snapped back, but judging by the look on Hinata’s face, Kageyama didn’t bark at him like that when they were alone. “Sorry,” he added.

“It’s fine. You just seem a little tenser than usual. Did you not want to spend time with Tsukkishima and Yamaguchi? Because I’m sorry, I spoke without thinking—”

“It’s alright,” Tsukkageyama said quickly.

“Do you think they’re dating?” Hinata followed up in a genuinely thoughtful tone. “I mean, they’re always so close. And Yamaguchi told me one time that Tsukkishima comes and spends the night a lot.”

“That doesn’t automatically mean they’re dating,” Tsukkageyama responded, trying to hide the fear and frustration in his tone.

“Well, yeah, but…” Hinata smiled up at him. “That’s how we got together, isn’t it?”

“I-I guess?” It was genuinely a question; Tsukkageyama had no idea how they got together.

Hinata laughed at the look of confusion on his face and turned his attention to the ring toss game. “Either way, they look happy together. I hope they’re happy.”

That sent Tsukkageyama’s head swirling. What did Hinata mean? Was that supposed to be some sort of joke? Tsukkishima had never taken the time to care about the Shrimp’s happiness before all of this, and up until this point, he hadn’t been planning on caring about it after. How come Hinata cared if he was happy or not? He never paid any attention to Hinata’s happiness, and he was sure Hinata had to know that.

Tsukkageyama must have zoned out, because he was brought back into reality with a swift kick to the back. He winced, and just a few stalls down he saw Kageyama wince, too, then scowl over at Tsukkageyama as if he was the one who had just kicked them in the back. “Earth to Kageyama,” Hinata giggled. “What’s up?”

“It’s nothing,” Tsukkageyama plastered a frown onto his face that he hoped looked similar to Kageyama’s. It must not have been quite right, because Hinata giggled even more.

“Are you sure? You look constipated.”

“Why do you care about m—Tsukkishima’s happiness?” he finally spat. He had to know.

“Oh,” Hinata shrugged. “He’s my teammate. He may be mean and all, but I still care about him. Because if he’s happy he plays volleyball better!” Hinata accentuated this with a pump of his fist to the air. “Besides, if he plays volleyball better, then it’s a real competition of who’s the best middle blocker!”

Tsukkageyama wasn’t sure what he expected, but it wasn’t that. He laughed, then, something he rarely did in his own body. Hinata watched him with a look of confusion. “Why’s that funny?”

“Because it all comes down to volleyball, like always,” Tsukkageyama sighed after he calmed down.

“Well, volleyball is my favorite thing. And that means you’re also my favorite thing by extension,” Hinata nudged into Tsukkageyama playfully, and Tsukkageyama’s face flushed. Yamaguchi said things like this to him, but they were rare and always followed up by a million apologies. However, Hinata was unapologetic and smiling, and he kind of liked that. Tsukkageyama didn’t know how Kageyama responded to these types of things, though, so he just smiled and tossed the rest of his rings at the bottles, missing every single one.

***

The four of them gathered again at a table for dinner. Yamaguchi carried a large chibi flower stuffed animal under his arm that Kageyama must have won for him, and Hinata and Tsukkageyama both had a variety of small, cheap plushies. The conversation flowed much better than it had earlier that day, and Kageyama hated to admit it, but Yamaguchi and Tsukki (inside Kageyama’s body or not) were quite fun to spend time with. He knew Hinata must have been having the same thoughts, because as Tsukkageyama and Hinata parted ways, Hinata exclaimed that “We should do this again soon!” as they walked away.

Once they were gone, Yamaguchi sidled up closer to Kageyama. “I think they’re dating,” he said finally.

“Yeah,” Kageyama mumbled, not entirely processing that wait, Yamaguchi had figured it out. His face flushed when he did have that realization.

“Well, it makes sense,” Yamaguchi shrugged. “They spend like, all their free time together.”

“I guess it does make some sense.” Kageyama inwardly panicked. Were they really that obvious? Did the whole team already know? He had to remind himself how surprised Tsukkageyama had been when he found out, despite having already guessed it.

“Do you want to spend the night? My parents aren’t home.”

Now, Kageyama would do a lot of things to keep them from getting found out—kissing, cuddling, hugging…but he would not lose his virginity to Yamaguchi. “S-sorry, I’ve got some homework to do. Maybe later this week?” He hoped in his suggestion that their bodies would switch back later that week.

“Oh. Yeah,” Yamaguchi plastered a smile on his face. Kageyama could immediately tell he’d upset the boy; he knew the look of a fake-smile all too well from the many times Hinata tried not to act offended when Kageyama said he had to go home after hours of after-school practice.

“I really am sorry,” Kageyama insisted. “Can I walk you home?”

“Yeah, sure.”

***

It had been a few days now that Kageyama and Tsukkishima were trapped in each other’s bodies. The two were getting antsy to find a solution, but so far their only lead they had was the shrine visit from over a month ago. After some feverish Googling, Kageyama and Tsukkageyama found the American film Freaky Friday, which may have been of some help if the two had gone to a cheap Chinese restaurant and gotten strange fortune cookies.

Kageyama had to quadruple check with Tsukkageyama that that didn’t happen. Each time, Tsukkageyama had to remind Kageyama that they didn’t go out to eat with each other. Like, ever.

Their acting slowly improved during volleyball practices to the point that they were acting mostly like themselves again on the court. Tsukkageyama even attempted a freak quick pass, which went well for the most part, except Hinata had to hit it with his left hand. Everyone in the club seemed to be off their trail.

Except for Suga.

Suga waited in the clubroom until Tsukkageyama and Kageyama were the last ones, idly fumbling with his gym bag. Before they could leave, he cleared his throat and put a smile on his face. “Hey, you two,” he chirped, “how about you take a seat?”

The two glanced at each other and swallowed thickly. Neither one of them had the guts to dash out the door and run forever from Suga, so they accepted their defeat and sat on the bench together, heads hung. “Now,” Suga began, “I might not be the smartest person on the team, but there’s a reason I’m called the most observant.”

Shit, Kageyama thought.

“You two are playing some sort of weird game,” Suga still wore his intimidating smile. “You’re acting like each other. Why?”

He doesn’t know, Tsukkageyama thought.

“We switched bodies—”

“We’re practicing for a play—”

The two spoke at the same time, then looked at each other in confusion. Suga shook his head. “I can’t understand you with both of you talking at once. One at a time, please.”

“We’re…practicing for a play?”

“Right! A play!”

Suga laughed out loud at this. “Yeah, right. You don’t have time for that,” he waved his hand dismissively. “What was that other thing?”

Kageyama looked at Tsukkageyama nervously. Both of them looked up finally, completely defeated. “We switched bodies,” they said together.

Suga laughed even harder at this – that is, until he noticed that neither of the boys in front of him were laughing. His laughter slowly died. “You…you are joking, right?”

“Sadly, no,” Tsukkageyama replied. “It’s been like this since last Friday.”

“Is that why—”

“Tsukkishima punched me in the face,” Kageyama replied, and Suga was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that Tsukkishima had just referred to himself in the third person – no, that was Kageyama, not Tsukkishima.

“Jesus,” he sighed. “I thought you were just playing some stupid prank or something…”

“I wish,” they responded at the same time.

“Quit doing that!” Suga cried. “You’re freaking me out now.”

“Do you know how to help?” Kageyama asked desperately.

Suga tapped his chin in thought. “Have you seen the movie Freaky Friday?” he asked finally.

“We didn’t eat any Chinese food,” Tsukkageyama replied bluntly.

“Well, that’s not exactly what I mean. In the movie, the mom and the daughter don’t switch back until they do something nice for each other and see each other’s points of view. Have you tried that?”

“I’d rather smack our heads together,” Tsukkageyama droned.

“They do that in the movie too,” Kageyama noted. The two seemed all too eager to do that, and Suga had to throw himself between them to keep them from throwing their heads together.

“Bad plan,” Suga huffed as he separated the two. “Okay, we’ll keep this our little secret. Let’s have lunch together again today and we can try to figure it out.”

“Hinata will be upset if I bail again,” Tsukkageyama replied. Kageyama glanced over at him, shocked; some time after their visit to the festival, Tsukkageyama had started caring more about Hinata. He even stopped referring to him as Shrimpy to Kageyama.

“Well then maybe we can try after practice. Tsukki—Kageyama, is that okay with you?” Suga asked.

“I usually walk Yamaguchi home,” he replied, rubbing his neck. Suga groaned.

“This might be a little harder than we thought.”

***

They ended up settling for meeting at Suga’s apartment later that evening. Neither Tsukkageyama nor Kageyama commented on the fact that Suga lived alone; they both supposed they knew next to nothing about their upperclassman. By the time Kageyama arrived after walking Yamaguchi home, Tsukkageyama was already sitting on the floor across from Suga, drinking tea from a colorful mug.

Suga greeted Kageyama with a warm smile and a cup of tea for himself. “Tsukkishima and I were just trying to think of some things that might work,” he said as he led Kageyama into the apartment.

Despite how uncomfortable the atmosphere should have felt, the group spent a great deal of time laughing and joking with each other. It was especially strange when Suga heard Tsukkishima full on laugh the first time; of course, that voice had come from Kageyama, but Tsukkageyama was laughing, too.

They brainstormed for a good, long while, not even bothering about the time despite it being a school night. The best option they could come up with was to see one another’s point of view, like they did in that movie Freaky Friday, but slamming heads together was kept as a back-up option.

The group was startled from their brainstorming session when there was another knock at the door. “Shit,” Suga breathed, still wearing a smile as he pushed himself up and walked to the door. Kageyama and Tsukkageyama heard a muffled noise, then a yelp, then a door slam. “Wrong address!” Suga said quickly as he came back into the room, but neither of them bought it.

A little bit later, they said their good-byes and thanked Suga for everything. He waved them away, saying how he always enjoyed extra company. Tsukkageyama and Kageyama passed by Daichi in the hallway, who was seemingly trying to hide behind a fake plant. It only dawned on Kageyama as he was walking to Tsukkishima’s house what Daichi had been there for, but he tried to shake the thought away and imagined that maybe Daichi was just there to…study. Yeah, study. At around midnight on a school night. Of course.

That evening left him much to think about besides Daichi and Suga’s…study session. He wondered what it meant to see things from Tsukkishima’s point of view. He supposed seeing out of Tsukkishima’s eyes was the ultimate view of his point of view, but obviously that wasn’t the answer. Plus, he was getting antsy. Not being able to set to Hinata was eating away at him, and he felt like he might explode in a heap of jealousy soon if he watched Tsukkageyama set even one more poorly-received toss to Hinata.

#kagehina #tsukkiyama #haikyuu!!#volleyball #kageyama tobio #hinata shouyou #tsukkishima kei #yamaguchi tadashi #switched!au

34 notes · View notes

minervahopebeyond · 4 years

Text

Blood Petals.

Hi!! I hope you like this one! Please let me know what you think ✨💕

Ps. As always I already checked everything but I apologize if you find any grammar or vocabulary errors.

Chapter 13: The article. (Part 1)

So, apparently it was impossible for things to just go well for him. If something was in order then another thing would go to hell. Draco was that lucky.

Thanks to the Patronus, he could communicate with Sirius and Mr Potter without a problem; he just waited for his roommates to fall sleep, closed his curtains on the bed, casted a muffliato and then he sent his Patronus over there. Shortly he would get an answer from them and Draco found himself safe again, like when he was at Grimmauld.

The only problem that brought up the Patronus Cham was the one with Ron.

Weasley didn't faint when he heard the news but he was rather indignant.

" How?"

Draco laughed as he prepared the chessboard.

"What? Are you jealous, weasel?"

Ron snorted and rolled his eyes, trying to seem unaffected but Draco knew better.

"I didn't know your little Gryffindor pride was so fragile!" He said with an amused smile on his face. "If it makes you feel better, I don't believe it's about me."

The redhead raised an eyebrow, bored expression on his face.

" I swear! It's like your bloody dog! That's not about you."

"What the bloody hell are you talking about, ferret?"

Draco rolled his eyes, Weasley could be so obtuse sometimes.

" Jack Russell Terriers are known for chasing otters. Ring any bells?" The blond boy said with a smirk.

Ron started to get awfully red and glared at him. He grabbed some of the biscuits he was eating and threw them at him.

"Stop talking about it!" The boy looked away. " Besides, dogs are loyal and Jack Russells are also known for being energetic, playful, and hard workers"

"So, basically, you are telling me that you are a Hufflepuff."

Another biscuit was thrown at him.

"Lions are proud animals... they are social because they live in prides. They are also territorial and protective. And last but not least, they are lazy fuckers that send the lioness to hunt while they sleep all day." Weasley snorted. "I don't see how any of that doesn't apply to you."

" Ha bloody ha. Joke is on you, because I will never have a 'lioness'."

The redhead was still eating, then he talked with the mouth full.

"I'm sure, someday, you will find a pour bastard that spoils you rotten, every hour of every day."

He said it so quick, Draco's smile faded and Ron looked at him confused for a few seconds. Then he remembered and his eyes turned sad.

"It's okay, Weasley. I don't need to get married to be happy. If I make this two years count for something then I'm going to be happy. I swear."

His friend was looking at him, hurt, Draco felt awful.

" If you would just let us help you! People care about you, you prideful stupid git!" He yelled at him. He was figuring out what to respond but the redhead stood up and walked away.

And for the first time ever, Weasley stormed out and let him alone playing chess.

It wasn't exactly a fight. Ron was too good of a person to ignore him, given the situation. But something was there, Draco could feel that he was upset and maybe a little mad at him. The redhead was trying not to show it but the blond boy could tell.

As days passed things were getting a little more rough between them. They would stay silent for long periods of time while playing chess or Ron would smile less when he was around. Draco hated it with all his being.

He still talked to Potter, there wasn't much to say, though. Sometimes he would stop himself from getting too close to him, too friendly; because he feared that, if they became real friends, the boy would start to talk to him about Ginevra. He wished scarhead all the bloody happiness in the world, they could dance over Draco's grave for all he cared, he just didn't want to hear about it.

31st of October would be the following week and the green-eyed boy told him about this brilliant idea that his father had, of him spending the night at Grimmauld with them. He told him about how good it felt to be near them, because he always was kind of bitter at the feast, with everyone enjoying the night and having fun.

Draco, of course, already knew that Potter was sad on Halloweens. He learned that back in first year... That's why he suggested this plan to Sirius and Mr Potter on his letter. He just pretended not to know anything about it.

______________

Draco woke up that Saturday feeling good about visiting Hogsmade. He missed drinking butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks or going to Honeydukes. Today his plan was spending the entire day with Blaise and Pansy, he kind of owed them, after all. And he missed them, he missed them being happy and laughing with him. So, that was his main goal for that day: making his friends laugh and smile a lot.

Blaise was nowhere to be seen, so he most likely was waiting for him at the great hall, having breakfast with Pansy. He got changed as quickly as he could and went to meet them.

Today, you are going to be really nice and you are going to let me have fun. Is that clear, useless daffodils?

When he got to the Great hall, everyone had a copy of the Daily Prophet in hand. They were all whispering ’Can you believe it?’ ‘This is so awful, they should be ashamed of themselves’ ‘The anniversary is next week, who does that??’

He sat next to Pansy.

“What is going on?” He asked.

Blaise had a conflicted face when he looked at him. Then he made a gesture to Pansy.

“He is going to find out anyway.”

Blaise sighed and put the newspaper in front of him.

“It’s the front page.”

He could only stared at it.

REBORN FROM THE ASHES: SIRIUS BLACK AND JAMES POTTER

There was a picture of them under the headline, the were walking at the street, smiling at each other. It looked like Sirius had said something funny, because for a brief moment, Mr Potter

threw his head back and laughed. They were close to each other, which wasn’t new... but in this context it seemed like it was. He started to read, then.

We all know that Sirius Black’s name has been cleared. This year we had the grand surprise of welcoming James Potter back to our world, and thanks to that we found out the truth about the events of that awful night back in 1981.

Both of them had been spotted on the streets of muggle London, as they were about to enter a restaurant, looking quite cozy. I think we all want to think that this is just a mistake, but sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words.

We also could get a statement from someone who went to school with them, who wishes to remain anonymous.

‘There were rumors about them, back in Hogwarts, they were never apart. And the entire school knew that Black was gay, maybe it was even why he got disowned. Just saying.’

Only one week away from the anniversary of the death of the Potters (although now it would be commemorated as Lily Evans Potter death), it seemed rather shocking to all of us.

As always, my intention is to keep my readers informed of everything, even when the news turn up to be uncomfortable.

Written by: Rita Skeeter.

What a load of bullshit! Sirius and Mr Potter weren’t dating! They would had told Potter. There was no way in hell they would of hide this from him. They wouldn’t let him find out like this. And most of all, they didn’t deserve this, after all that they went through... it was too much.

He looked at Blaise and Pansy with a pained look on his eyes. He had to go, do something. Pansy sighed but nodded.

“You better meet us at the three broomsticks.”

“You two are the best friends that one could ask for” He hugged Pansy and smiled brightly at Blaise.

“Yes, we know. Now go with the Gryffindors, Dragon.”

He got up and walked towards their table. Potter was frowning at the article. He heard Granger speak.

“Harry, this is Skeeter. She wrote that we were together in fourth year, based on a stupid picture too.”

“Yes, mate. They would had told you, you would know.” Weasley was always seeing through people, always being perceptive. Draco sat down next to Potter,in front of the others two thirds of the golden trio.

“ I agree with both of them. This is bullshit and really insensitive, in so many levels.”

Harry turned to look at him,the frowned seemed to fade a little, before the boy nodded.

“Yes, you are right. Of course.” The boy cleared his throat before continuing. “I’ll meet you outside in 15 minutes? I think I need to be alone for a little while.”

Draco frowned at that while the other two nodded at him. They had worried expressions on his eyes.

Draco waited for Weasley and Granger to finish eating breakfast. None of them were in a mood to talk, the blond boy just wanted to check on Potter before going to the Three Broomsticks.

They waited for a while, trying to give the green-eyed boy some space, before they went to meet him. They walked in silence until Granger spoke.

“Are you spending the day with us?” She didn’t mean it in a bad way, her tone was more curious than anything else. Draco shook his head.

“No, Pansy and Blaise feel a little abandoned because I spend Sundays with Weasley already. I promised to be with them the entire day... But this happened. I’m meeting them there later.” The girl murmured something like ‘Oh... okay’ and nodded.

When they got outside, Potter was not alone. Theodore was standing in front of him, with Vince and Greg beside him.

“Don’t tell me that you are crying, Potter.”

“Leave me alone, Nott.”

He looked at Potter to see if he could find any trace of tears on his face: nothing. Good. Draco grabbed Weasley and Granger by their arms, indicating them to not get closer. Potter hated being saved, he could look after himself.

“Don’t worry. We are not going to tell anyone.” Theodore said in a fake tone. “I would be ashamed too, if I had a deviant as a godfather... Not to mention your father turning into a shirtlifter.”

Oh, no. He was going to kill him. And Vince and Greg too, because they laughed. He found himself marching towards them, furious. He stood in front of Potter, looking at the Slytherins.

“What the fuck did you just called them?” Theodore, no, Nott; rolled his eyes.

“This doesn’t concern you, Malfoy.”

“Unfortunately, it does, so let’s try this again.” Draco took a few steps closer towards the git. “What the fuck did you just called them?” He hissed.

He was close to Nott, he wanted to intimidate him, to make him realize that he just made a big mistake. That moment right there, was his chance to take back what he said, and move on with his day. But Theo could never let something go.

His hazel eyes where looking right at him, with determination, with the desire of winning. Then he spoke really slowly, enjoying the words that left his mouth.

“I said: Sirius Black is a deviant and James Potter is turning into a shirtlifter for him.”

This is something that Draco hated and loved about Theodore: he enjoyed being mean. The blond boy, always appreciated the honesty of it all, the brunette didn’t pretend to be polite or a good person; he was good with his friends and mean with the rest. Draco hated that sometimes he took it too far.

He pulled a face of disgust and disappointment and took a step back.

“You think you are really funny, don’t you? Making fun of someone for who they love.” He snarled at him. “I personally think that the article is bullshit... but even if it were true, I don’t see how you could joke about it.”

He laid the trap right in front of him. Back the hell off, Theo. We both know how to play this.. The other boy just snorted.

“That’s because you are a fairy too, Malfoy”

Draco just smirked. You are so stupid, darling. I’m going to destroy you.

“See? Don’t you think is a little basic and old fashion? To make fun of someone for their sexuality, I mean.” He raised an eyebrow, smirk still in place. “For example, if I wanted to insult you... Maybe I would point out that your lack of wit and brains, could be because of the inbreeding.” He heard the Gryffindors gasp in amusement behind him. Theodore glared at him.

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Oh, but I’m not even finished.” Then he looked at him up and down and bit his lips. He could swear that Theo blushed a little, before being notoriously uncomfortable. “But if I were to stood in your level... I would kindly remind you that most of the openly homophobic bastards, turn up to be closeted and ashamed themselves.”

Nott took out his wand and Draco followed.

“Let’s remember that I’m better at dueling than you, Theo. Why don’t you save the little dignity that you have and leave.” Then he looked at Vince and Greg. “You too, I don’t even want to see you.”

Theodore looked furious and hurt at the same time. He gestured the other boys to follow him and they walked away from there. He was watching them go when he heard Weasley.

“That was brilliant, ferret!”

Draco turned around to see the boy. The redhead was already pulling him into a hug. He was surprised at first, they never hugged before, and at the moment, they were in this weird limbo of friendship. The blond boy blinked and returned the hug. Good, this felt normal again. He couldn’t feel Weasley being mad anymore.

“That was almost as cool as when Mione punched you in the face!”

Draco chuckled and pulled away from the hug to look at him.

“I feel honored, weasel.”

Granger walked to where they were, smile on her face.

“Thank you for standing up to them, Draco”

He widened his eyes, dumbfounded. Granger avoided speaking to him... Now she was thanking him. He nodded.

“It was nothing, I’m sure you would had punched Nott in the face, if I hadn’t intervene.” He smiled at her. The girl chuckled and agreed with him.

They turned to look at Potter, then. The green-eyed boy was staring at him... trying to say something but no words left his mouth.

“I’m sorry if I got in the way. He insulted Sirius and your father and I just couldn’t leave it.”

Potter frowned at that.

“He insulted you too.”

Draco nodded and did a gesture with his hand, to indicate that it wasn’t important.

“I’ve known him for a long time. He can’t say anything about me that I haven’t heard before.” The boy was looking at him, curious, and then he nodded.

“Do you want to come with us to Hogsmade?”

He started to feel the tickles. He is just being friendly, you brainless flowers. Draco smiled and shook his head.

“I can walk with you there, but I really have to spend the day with Blaise and Pansy. They will kill me if I ditch them.”

Potter seemed a little disappointed to hear that, but he just nodded at him. The daffodils didn’t stop moving, making him feel tickles all over his lungs, pulling him to be near the boy; Draco force himself to stay where he was. He felt Weasley put his arm around him.

“Let’s go then, ferret.”

The day was a little cold, but it was still fall ,so it was enjoyable to be outside. As they walked there, Draco noticed that Potter was rather quiet. He wished that the green-eyed boy wouldn’t worry about the stupid article from Skeeter. The Daily Prophet always wrote shit, everyone knew that. The ministry used them to manipulate information, it wasn’t exactly a coincidence that Sirius and Mr Potter were on the front page, while the disappearances weren’t.

Hogsmade has this peaceful air that Draco always found very soothing. Since there were just a few weekends a year where the students could get out of the castle, everyone was happy, it was like a pause from all the awful things that were happening outside.

“Potter, enjoy today. To brood over it won’t get you anywhere.”

He turned to where Draco was, anxious green eyes looking at him.

“Fine. Have fun with Zabini and Parkinson.”

#drarry #fanfic #fanfiction #prongsfoot

14 notes · View notes

blueboxesandtrafficcones · 3 years

Text

The Christmas Competition

Day 5 of 2020′s 31 Days of Ficmas. Thanks to @doctorroseprompts for the list!

Prompt: Ornament

Rating: G

Pairing: 12xRose AU; part of the Nuptial Necessity universe

Summary: Rose’s first Christmas as a Tucker drops her in the middle of long-held traditions and competitions, and is pleasantly surprised by the experience.

2020 31 Days of Ficmas masterlist | The Nuptial Necessity masterlist

AO3

---

“Hey.”

Rose looked up from the email she was reading to grin at Malcolm as he leaned his hip against the corner of her desk. “Hey.”

Her husband smiled back, stealing a handful of banana-flavored jelly beans from the dish she’d taken to keeping on the desk for him, popping several into his mouth. “How’s it going?”

“Good.” She shrugged, glancing back at her email and determining it could wait before minimizing the screen. Folding her arms on the desk she leaned forward, giving him all her attention. “Reservation’s at three, so Graham’ll be here in about ten minutes.”

“Great, thanks. I’m looking forward to it – been putting the finishing touches on my design. It will definitely be better than Clara’s.”

Rose merely shook her head fondly. “It’s not a competition. It’s about spending time with your daughter and reflecting on the year. And more importantly, you owe Ace a call, so hurry up. I’ll knock when Graham’s here.”

“You’re the best.” He took another small handful of jelly beans, before making a show of checking if anyone was watching. They weren’t, isolated in the corner as Malcolm’s office and by extension Rose’s desk was, so he leaned down and gave her a quick peck. “Can you get Ace on the line?”

“Yes, yes, just shoo,” she waved him away, dialing from memory with one hand while the other straightened the now-askew candy dish. Once the call was connected she hung up, leaning back into her chair as her smile fell.

His reservation was his annual meetup with Clara at a local paint-your-own-pottery place; for at least as long as Rose had known them they’d go together in early December to paint an ornament for their tree, the theme being to commemorate the year. Rose had been making their reservations since she started working for Malcolm, had heard thousands of stories about their experiences, and this year had been no different. Except, perhaps naively, she’d expected (well, hoped) to be invited along, now that she and Malcolm were married. Danny’s never gone, she reminded herself once again, thinking of her best friend’s long-term boyfriend. It’s their father-daughter tradition.

That didn’t make it ache any less.

Her mobile chirped, a message from Graham saying that he was there, and she swiped at her cheeks before turning around and knocking on the glass wall; Malcolm gave her a thumbs up in response, and a minute later, appeared in front of her desk shrugging into his coat. “Ready?”

“Graham’s downstairs,” she confirmed, offering him a small but genuine smile. “Have fun.”

Malcolm merely blinked at her, continuing to stand there as if waiting for something while she busied herself with straightening a stack of papers. When he didn’t move, she bit back a sigh and looked up.

“What?”

“What do you mean, what?” His brow furrowed, and he checked his watch. “You’re cute, but c’mon- we ought to be leaving.”

It was Rose’s turn to blink. “What d’you mean?”

Malcolm’s head tilted, expression going from confused, to surprised, to soft. “Sweetheart, you’re coming too. You did include yourself in the reservation, didn’t you?”

Oh, thank God. Relief quickly melted to annoyance. “Of course not,” she scowled at him. “Why would I? You didn’t say!”

“I didn’t realize I needed to!” He chuckled, dropping his backpack in favor of coming around her desk to crouch in front of her, putting them on the same eye level. “Rose, my love, of course you should join us. It’s your home, and your tree as well. And quite frankly, we just want you to be there. Clara suggested having you join us a few years ago, but… to be honest, it felt a little too much like trying to play happy families when you don’t love me as I do you, or so I believed at the time. I’m sorry I didn’t specify you were included, because it didn’t even occur to me to do so – I want you with me at every moment.”

Rose sniffled, tears returning for a different reason. “Don’t do that,” she thumped him lightly on the shoulder. “Don’t say such wonderful things to me with no warning.”

“I’m going to say wonderful things to you whenever I feel like it,” he countered, grinning, using his thumb to wipe her cheek. “Now, can we go?”

Despite Malcolm’s kind reassurances, she was still nervous walking up to the pottery place, clinging to him more than usual. Clara was already inside looking over the options, though she must have sensed their presence because she glanced towards the door just as they walked in. Face lighting up, she hurried over to them.

“Hey, you two,” Clara greeted them warmly, pecking her father’s cheek before hugging Rose. “Hope you’re ready, because I’ve got a brilliant design already planned, and it’s going to be so much better than yours.”

“Hi,” Rose smiled in return, before turning to the hostess. “Tucker? Erm, party of three, but the reservation was only for two. I hope that’s not an issue?”

The hostess, Karen, shook her head. “Not at all – you picked a good day, we’re quiet so far. With me, please.”

She guided them to a small table-top as Clara frowned. “Why was the reservation for two?” Her expression turned uncertain. “Sorry, this wasn’t just for the two of you, was it? I mean, you added it to my calendar-”

“No, no,” Malcolm said smoothly as they settled, “just a misunderstanding between us – all fixed now.” He turned his attention to Rose, raising an eyebrow. “See?”

Rose’s cheeks heated, and she bit her lip before admitting to Clara, “I didn’t realize I would be invited.”

“Of course you are.” Clara looked bewildered. “You’re a Tucker now.”

“Yeah, but… you don’t invite Danny.”

They stood up then, wandering towards the wall of potential projects, the two women falling into step as Malcolm went in a different direction.

“Maybe once we’re married, but it’s more to do about celebrating the holiday – he’s not there on Christmas morning, so he doesn’t get an ornament. We decided years ago, once I started dating, on that rule. Now technically I won’t be there Christmas morning, as I’ll be with Danny, but we’re actually booked to come next week just the two of us, sort of start the tradition for ourselves now that we live together. I told Dad to make it clear you were invited now, and he said he would, but… he’s an idiot. You could’ve just asked.”

Rose picked up a wreath ornament, confiding to it, “I didn’t want to barge my way in. I know how special your relationship with him is, and by being your best friend and his wife and his PA, it feels like I’m always a part of what you two get up to nowadays- and did even before that, honestly- and I just… don’t want to overstep. Or push my way in. You deserve time just the two of you, too.”

Clara was silent as they moved down the line, and when she finally spoke, her tone was hurt. “Are you getting tired of me?”

“What? No!” Rose spun to face her, surprise written on her face. “Of course not, you’re my best friend! I was worried you were getting sick of me! That- that- that maybe you might start to resent that I’m always there when you see your dad! I’m at your house, I’m at his office… Your relationship with him is so important to both of you, and to me! I just… I don’t know how to balance this, yet. I guess.” She turned away, ostensibly focusing on a snowman.

“Hey.” Clara tugged on her sleeve, forcing her back. “You’re my best friend too. And, yeah, it’s a bit weird, you being with my dad, but… that’s my problem. Well, not problem, but… I know how happy you make each other. I supported this before you were together, remember? So as long as I don’t see anything, and we can all agree that any future siblings I have from you arrive via stork or immaculate conception, then it’s all good. You’re not a third wheel with us; you’re our third Musketeer. You two are my two favorite people on the planet- don’t tell Danny- and getting to spend so much time with both of you is just… mind-blowingly awesome. You are not only welcome, you’re required. Got it?”

“Got it.” Rose nodded, and Clara opened her arms wide.

They were still hugging when Malcolm appeared at their side. “Hate to break up the love fest, but can we get a move on?” he asked, impatience deepening his Scottish burr. “I’ve got a competition to win.”

“Oh, I’m definitely going to win,” Clara said confidently, pulling away from Rose with a grin. “Bring it.”

Rose just rolled her eyes, following them back to the table.

What have I gotten myself into? Be careful what you wish for, I suppose.

A week later she let herself into the town house, already shaking her head at the squabbling drifting towards her from the parlor. Hanging her coat up she followed the noise, finding Malcolm and Clara standing in front of the fireplace, each holding a stocking and stocking holder.

“Should I come back?”

“Tell him he’s being ridiculous,” Clara ordered, not even glancing her way. “You agree with me, right?”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Malcolm protested, “she’s my wife! She agrees with me!”

Rose just sighed fondly, setting the box with their fired ceramic ornaments on the coffee table and moving closer. “Now now, children, one at a time. What’s the issue?”

“Dad wants to hang the stockings up left to right by age,” Clara said with disgust. “D’you believe this? That would be him, Danny, you, then me.”

Rose wrinkled her nose at that. “Eh. And you?”

“Alphabetical. Me, Danny, Dad, you. That way the couples are together.”

She pursed her lips, considering the idea. “And all four of us are getting stockings?”

Two nods.

“At least you can agree on that,” she teased. “How about Malcolm, me, you, then Danny? Couples together, women on the inside, men on the outside? Does it really matter, anyway? What did you do last year?”

“This is the first Christmas with partners,” Malcolm explained. “Or without Wallace. He was always on the left- said it was his right as the owner- I was on the right, and Clara in the middle. I suppose it’s possible we were getting carried away.”

Clara nodded. “I can agree to that compromise. Fair enough, I suppose.”

Malcolm shrugged one shoulder. “As you wish, darling.”

“Great. Now, I’m almost afraid to ask- is there a specific tradition involving the new ornaments I should know about?” Rose eyed the large crate that sat innocently on the floor, appearing to be full of similar quasi-homemade decorations from Christmases past. Considering how competitive they could be, she suspected plenty of complex rules in her immediate future.

Ever the teacher, Clara launched into a detail explanation, moving towards the crate as Rose caught Malcolm’s eye. He grinned in return, eyes twinkling, before turning to hang the stockings. Stepping out of her heels and resigning herself to the madness she’d married into, Rose padded towards her friend, listening intently. This was her chosen family, had been for so long really, that it was an absolute delight to join their kooky traditions.

And, when all was said and done, was honored beyond words when the trio of snowmen she’d painted as Three Musketeers hung front and center on the tree.

#bbatcfic #doctorroseprompts #31 Days of Ficmas #31 Days of Ficmas 2020 #ficandchips #Doctor Who #12xRose #Twelfth Doctor #Rose Tyler #AU #The Nuptial Necessity #Ornament #The Christmas Competition

4 notes · View notes

emiisanxious · 3 years

Text

Surprise is the WORST

Archive of Our Own Link

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category: Gen

Fandom: Sanders Sides (Web Series)

Additional Tags:

Anxiety | Virgil Sanders' Birthday

Angst with a Happy Ending

Panic Attacks

Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders

Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders

Summary: “Roman had a BAD idea, a really bad idea, and while everyone agreed with that, it put Virgil in a bad frame of his mind, till he had a panic attack.

OR: I'm bad at doing a summary and this is a Birthday fic!

Although this fic is part of a series, it doesn't need to read the previous chapters. But it's more understandable why Janus and Remus are more different.

[Series: Virgil's Past and Future - Fics: Ignorance, Next Day in Ignorance, Sick Day]”

Note: But but I needed to do a Birthday fic for Virgil, soooo here it's!

For once, he wasn't sure how he felt about today. No one could say when exactly Thomas started to have Anxiety, so he didn't have a birth date. Although, he would question if traits should have a birth date since they are not human? But the fanders and Thomas decided that today was his birthday.

So he wasn't sure how he felt today.

He was rolling on his bed thinking about it; in theory, it was already his birthday. After all, it was 4 in the morning, but no one was awake. He decided to gets up and goes to the kitchen so he could drink some water.

Should he be happy? Or should he ignore it and think about it like any other day? It was confusing and weird. Last year his birthday present was doing a Halloween-themed video on Christmas eve, Virgil honestly had way too much fun dressing as a vampire.

And the year before? It was that weird 12 days of Christmas song that Roman created, even though he won't admit it, that was fun. As they said, it was a video to commemorate their first Christmas together.

But this year? This year they didn't have anything planned, sure Thomas would do a live stream for patreons, and that was enough for Virgil to feel anxious and be awake so late in the night. But his family? They didn't say anything about it. They weren't thinking about doing anything at all, in all honesty, they were preparing a Christmas party. After all, it would be with Janus and Remus.

Shaking his head once, trying to dispel whatever he was thinking, he got up from --- When he sat down in the sink? And walked back to his room, sure he was thinking way too much like always. Throwing himself in the bed, way too lazy to change his clothes or undo his makeup, he snaps his fingers, and with that, he was already in pajamas and a clean face.

"I'm thinking way too much... When did I start to care about birthdays?" He says at his room, as he closes his eyes, picking his earbuds and phone, playing some music. "Time to sleep." Even though he said that it would take at least one more hour till he finally was sleeping.

-----

"Are we really doing that?"

"Yes! Of course, we are!"

"But won't he feel more anxious?"

"He will be anxious anyway because of the live stream."

"Yeah... But..."

"It's not like we are harming him."

"But he will be anxious! Isn't that a good reason not to do this?"

"Just... Try to relax, okay? He will like it... In the end."

"Okay... Don't let me alone then."

"We never intended to."

-----

"Viiiirgiiiiiiiiil ~!"

A singing voice was knocking and almost yelling outside of his door as he growls, slowly waking up. "WHAT?!" He was a bit annoyed by been awake with so much happiness at what? 9 am? "It's 9 am ROMAN!"

"I know, Emo." Roman opened the door and was now leaning on the door frame, crossing his arms over his chest. "But we need you to wake up. Thomas needs to prepare for the living stream."

"He can do that without me. Just let me sleep a bit more." He says as he pulls the blanket over his head, trying to hide from the light coming from his door.

"Won't you eat something for breakfast?"

"Roman, I stayed awake till 5 am I barely had 4 hours sleep. If you don't want me freaking out during the live stream and making Thomas anxious all day, you better let me sleep!" Virgil was annoyed, almost slipping on his tempest tongue.

"Fiiiiiiiiiine. Padre said he would let something for you to eat on the fridge." With that Roman was out of his room, closing the door.

Sadly, that was enough for him to wake up. He was tensed and annoyed, and sure he wasn't going to be able to sleep back. A loud growl as he gets up and starts to do his morning routine.

That was also enough for him to start to spiral in thoughts once again about his birthday. That is how he messed up doing his make up twice, once applying the eyeshadow how it was supposed to be used, over his eyes. And the second time, he just forgot to smudge it, he remembered when he was holding the doorknob to go out. The second time was more easy to fix.

He put on his headphones instead of his earbuds, as he goes out of his room, playing some punk music since if he needs to stay awake all day, he might as well. Virgil ignored everyone who tried to say anything to him till he did his coffee and drink it.

Honestly, he tried to ignore the spiraling thoughts as he finishes drinking his coffee, sitting in the chair. A small tap on his shoulder was enough for him to remember to take out the headphones. "Morning Pat."

The man was smiling softly. "Morning kiddo. Did Roman woke you up?"

"Yeah... Something about the live stream..." Virgil says in an annoyed tone.

"Well, I'm sure he totally did that not on purpose." Deceit said as he gets in the kitchen. Picking up another cup of coffee. "Also, morning Virgil."

"Morning Jan." He sighs again as he yawns. "Yeah... I figured that much."

"Oh kiddo, maybe you should try to sleep a bit more later?"

"Will do... Maybe a nap, later in the day." He frowns a bit, sure for now that Patton would at least remember and comment about it, right? Or was he thinking so selfish about himself? It was Patton! He would remember, right? Even Janus remembered when he was still on the Dark side.

"Virge? Can you help me decorate the Christmas Tree?" Morality asked casually, breaking his spiraling thoughts. "Janus and I, are in charge of that, while Logan is busy helping Thomas with the tech stuff. Roman and Remus are brainstorming."

"Sure." Right he forgot, his birthday is like five days before Christmas Eve, of course, they would be more focussed on decorating and preparing for that! After all, it would be their first Christmas with Remus and Janus. With a small sigh, he didn't mind, he was the one who said he preferred not to do a big deal over things. So why he felt so... Sad?

After his breakfast, he did help Patton and Janus decorate the tree, this year they also created yellow and lime greens decorations since now they had two new members in the family. He was free after lunch, which did him goes back to his bedroom.

Pulling the blanket over his head, he felt bad and selfish, he felt... Sad. Forgotten. That wasn't good. Even though Remus, Roman, and Logan were back during lunch, they also didn't say anything. He won't mind the awkward 'happy birthday' wishes, at least he would know that they remembered.

But... Remember what? The first time he appeared? How did Roman, Lily, and Thomas want to get rid of him? Or to tune him down. Or how bad he was. Who would want to remember that? Who would want him here in the first place?!

Was that their way to show that they didn't care about him? Nooooo... They totally did care about him! Otherwise, Roman wouldn't wake him up, or Patton wouldn't want his company to decorate the tree.

He could see the shadows in his room getting darker, he didn't need to get up to figure out that his eyeshadow was also darker. "Better sleep..." Virgil sighs at that as he closes his eyes, not bothering with anything else. He would do the live stream, and then he would just forget this day.

-----

"I'm not so sure this is a good idea..."

"I'm inclined to agree with him."

"You two are just worrying too much!"

"Yeap! He will be fiiiiine."

"Hm... You know I don't think this is a good idea either..."

"OH MY GOD! You three are worrying too much! He will love the surprise! Just think that!"

"This is a mistake isn't it?"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"I will talk with Thomas."

"Nooooooo!"

"Yes! If he agrees we keep this, if not we will just try to fix the situation."

"He is sleeping..."

"You won't want to wake him up."

"If we need to fix the situation then we will do after he wakes up."

"I told you it was a bad idea."

"It's a marvelous idea!"

"I think he will agree with me when he finds out."

"Of course he will! Making him anxious about his birthday is NOT something nice!"

"Oh, please, he is anxious all the time. It will be fine."

-----

When he woke up later, he felt groggy, he wasn't sure what time was, as he sits on the bed. Yawning as he picks up his phone. Oh, nice he was late for the stream! It was already 5 pm! Why didn't no one... They didn't care about him, did they? At the realization, he just throws himself back at the bed, not caring about it. If they didn't care about him why he would go there?

Instead, he just stayed there. Laying on the bed, scrolling on his phone, happy birthday wishes on the fandom, he saw fan arts, he also read some fanfics. It was fun, to see how the fanders would celebrate his birthday. Maybe he should go to imagination visit Emile and Remy, but he couldn't bring himself to do that.

In reality, he couldn't bring himself to go out again, he didn't want to see anyone, he felt hurt and sad that no one remembered his birthday.

-----

"Virgil didn't wake up yet?" Thomas asked as he looked at Logan.

"Well, if he did wake up he didn't go out of his room." The logical side answered as he fixes his glasses.

"I told you that was not a good idea!" Patton said as he was holding one hand on Janus's arms, trying very hard not to show how sad he was.

"Well, I agreed with Patton after breakfast." Janus sighs as he looks at them. "But the Twins."

"HEY! It's a fabulous idea! He will love it when he sees it!" Roman says as he puts a hand over his heart offended.

"He will love all the decorations! It will be like Halloween!" Remus says happily that he was able to work with gore and blood decorations.

"That is not the issue here." Thomas sighs.

"How are you, Thomas?" Logan asked curiously.

"If you're asking if he ducked out, no, he didn't. He is still around. I still feel anxious about the live-stream. And all. Oh... I need to go!" Thomas says. "Break is over."

"Okay." Patton and Janus weren't looking happy. As both took parental figures they were still worried about Virgil.

"Well, I will finish my gift! While one of you go pick him up!" Roman says happily as he sinks out.

"Oh Oh! I will go there and make sure all the decorations are right then!" Remus was hyped as he sinks out as well.

Logan, Patton, and Janus sigh at that. "Logan can you...?" Patton asked with a small sad sigh.

"Yes, you both try to be happy that is ending at least." Logic says as he starts to walk towards the purple door.

Patton and Janus sighed at each other, honestly, that was a dumb idea. Both knew that mostly because Patton's emotions was been a bit pessimistic, probably was Virgil not controlling his powers, and Janus was used to dealing with Anxiety before so he knew how the other disliked surprises.

-----

"Virgil?" Logan knocked at the other's door, he felt a bit more cold than normal.

"One sec." He was rolling on his bed as he gets up and walks towards the door, opening it. At his point, he didn't care if his room was darker and colder than normal. "Sup specs. What you want?" His eyeshadow was darker, as he was affected by his room more.

The navy trait frowned at the vision, blinking a few seconds. "Are you okay?"

"Totally." He lied as he shrugs.

Logan didn't believe it but he let it go. "I need your assistance in the imagination if you up to it?" He wasn't the type to stall so Logan was straight to the point.

Virgil tilted his head to the side. "Sure." He closes his door and lets the headphones around his neck as he follows Logan around. At this exact time, he felt depressed and honestly tired from thinking how much the fanders were nicer to remember his birthday than his family.

The walk was silent, he wasn't sure what he wanted to talk with Logan and neither if he should tell anything. A few moments later, they were in a darker room, and soon he felt more anxious and aware. "Logan? Are we... In the right place?" Fear started to creepy on him.

"Yes. We are."

His vision wasn't adapting to the darkness, slowly he could feel fear and his breathing was starting to uneven. Did they finally got tired of him and wanted to... Make him disappear? Or to merge with the subconscious? No... He was too important for that... Right?

He was lost in thoughts, but he couldn't miss the flash of light and everyone yelling: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

His lips paled, as he fell hard on his knees, holding a hand over his chest, he wasn't able to breathe, his vision was blurry with dizziness and he was trying very hard not to cry.

"I told you it was a bad idea!" Janus said pissed, as he walked towards Virgil. "Vee, look at me. Hey!" Deceit moved his hands in front of Virgil. "Look at me!"

He did that, although he wasn't able to focus exactly on the half-snake face.

"Can I touch you?" As the yellow side receives a nod, he moved his hand to pick the other, sitting on the floor with him in his lap. Hugging him. "Hey close your eyes and follow my breath right?" Another nod as Janus started to count the breathing pattern and as well exaggerating his breathing. "You're doing great Vee. Keep going."

He focused his sense towards Deceit, following his breathing, everything felt numb, he could barely hear Patton scolding the twins. Logan couldn't say anything as he just watched. "Virgil?" A few minutes later he was back to normal, as he moves his eyes to Janus. "Are you okay?"

"Mhm... I guess?" He still felt anxious, he still felt weird, and he still had a lot of thoughts in his mind. "You all didn't... forget?"

"No, Vee. We could never." Janus said as gently as possible.

"So... You all don't wanna make me... Disappear? Or... Hate me? Or or..." Virgil's voice falls in silence as he tries to tell out his thoughts.

"NO!" Deceit yelled, although it did scare Virgil. "Sorry, I didn't want to scare you." With that, he hugged the anxious closer and tighter. "No Virgil, whatever you thought today, we don't want to. We care about you, we love you."

"But..."

"I'm sorry kiddo." Patton finished scolding the twins. "Roman and Remus said it was a good idea to fake we forgot your birthday... While they planned a surprise party. We told them it wasn't a good idea but they didn't listen."

"We are sorry..." The twins were looking at the floor, embarrassed. "We thought... If you don't like it we can leave or..."

It took several minutes, for everything to be explained and to get to the point where Virgil was stable enough to understand and calmer. After that Janus helped him to get up on his feet. Logan and Patton weren't sure what they should do, and the twins were still looking embarrassed.

"I... Okay... Can we... Just... Celebrate it today and... Talk about it tomorrow? I can be angry and annoyed with this tomorrow... Right now... I think it would be better if I..." Virgil was lost in words as he tries to explain.

"Of course we can!" Patton smiled at that, as he moves to let Virgil look around.

It was a room with black walls, the ceiling was decorated with moon and stars, meanwhile, the walls and the furniture were based in the Victorian Era, it was remarkably edgy, they avoided spider objects but he could see the cobwebs decorating the room.

He smiled at that, even the cake and the sweets were in black and purple, bringing a sense of Halloween in the middle of Christmas time. "Let me guess? Patton did the cake, Janus did the sweets and both decorated it."

Patton and Janus smiled and nodded.

"Logan helped to decorate the ceiling because he wouldn't like the wrong representation, and with the furniture. While Remus summoned it and helped decorate with cobwebs. I bet he also used the spiders in my room to do that."

Both also nodded.

"And Roman had the idea and put it together, yelling and saying who was late with what. And helped to create the room?"

Everyone laughed at that. "Hey! I didn't yell!" Roman sounded offended at that. "You was bossy." Remus pointed out. "Even though we all were doing things..."

Virgil looked at them arguing like brothers and then around, he could see the thoughts behind the decoration and was chuckling at that. "Right both of you shut up." His family was there and everything was like he dreamed about. "Thanks. I loved it." Sincerity as he turns to them. "Now let's party!"

He honestly wasn't the type to party, but... He wanted to enjoy it. He cared about the birthday and if his family wanted to celebrate it with him, so why not? He could loosen up and enjoy it, the rest of the night was fun, Janus was taking pictures instead of participating but sometimes he would be dragged to play. They played, they laughed, forgetting all the problems for a moment and... Just enjoy the celebration.

"Hey, did you know today is also National Emo Day?" Logan said nonchalantly.

"Whaaaaaaaat?!" Janus and Patton were surprised by that.

"Oh, that makes sense! It's Emo day! After all, it's Virgil's Birthday!" Roman said happily about that.

"Uff... That was bad." Virgil says while eating a sweet. He couldn't deny that he felt happy to know about it as his eyeshadows were a constant purple now, that he felt really happy with the party.

#Virgil Sanders #Roman Sanders #Remus Sanders #Logan Sanders #Patton Sanders #Janus Sanders #C!Thomas Sanders #fanfic

2 notes · View notes

not-a-space-alien · 4 years

Text

Anniversary - or the Horsepersons realise they can get together outside of work

Hi everyone, I just realized today that I never posted my work from this past holiday exchange! Here was my entry, hope you enjoy!

Title: Anniversary

Rating: G

Word Count: 6k

Summary: The horsepersons are summoned for a second attempt at Armageddon, but soon an irritating pattern emerges.

A note about my illustrations: I trace stock photos for a lot of my basic shapes because I’m not good at that and really only enjoy the detail work and coloring, so I consider my “art” more like photo manipulation than original artwork, so just keep that in mind! This one is also partially based in TV canon and partially in book canon fyi

On DW

On AO3

“Who exactly summons them?”

“Not my department.”

************************

The department that did, in fact, summon the horsepersons was not Gabriel’s department, which was the Department of Earthly Affairs. Summoning the horsepersons, overseeing the signs of the end times, the rains of fish, and all that unpleasant business was a job that nobody really wanted. It was thought of as something Hell was supposed to do, but Heaven had to take responsibility for it, roll up their sleeves, and make sure it was done properly. It was shunted off onto whichever angels were unlucky enough to be assigned to the Department of Armageddon, which Gabriel had actually fought tooth and nail to leave.

The Department of Armageddon’s entire purpose was to prepare for the end times: to meticulously plan it out and ensure it went off smoothly. As these things tend to go, the least desirable job got pushed off onto whomever was lowest on the command chain, or at least the one too polite or too much of a pushover to refuse the job. And nobody really wanted to interact with the horsepersons. The DoA was filled with poor souls who had been toughing out a job they’d hated for six-thousand years. It would take a toll on anyone.

The reader can probably imagine that Aziraphale is less popular with the Department of Armageddon than any other angels, who unfortunately already find him quite annoying.

But this story is not about Aziraphale. It’s not even about Ambriel, the angel responsible for summoning the horsepersons.

No, this story is about the horsepersons, who lined up for Armageddon in the year of 1991 with great fervor and excitement, giddily straddling their motorcycles, finally able to run wild. The way that one had fizzled out was quite a disappointment to them all.

Adam had banished them for a bit, and that had been no fun, but it’s impossible to do away with Famine, War, and Pollution as long as humans exist. So they eventually reformed, springing from the minds of men and being unleashed back onto the world.

Somewhere in Europe, freshly spilled blood steamed and boiled, and War rose up, with blood smeared over her naked body like a newborn baby. In Asia, in a field covered by vultures feasting on the carcass of an emaciated cow, Famine sat up, looking around disoriented and missing his fancy suits. On the West Coast of the United States, Pollution washed ashore, having drifted for a while after being spawned from the Great Pacific garbage patch. They picked seaweed out of their hair and took a few moments to orient themselves. The last thing they remembered was staring down Adam Young. And as they realised what had happened, they thought the exact same thing their two companions were thinking at that exact moment:

Aw, man!

*********************************

In August 1992, the brave soul known simply as ‘the deliveryman’ had been contracted once again. The request was again from someone named Ambriel, by whom he had been contracted at this precise time last year, and for the exact same reason: To make four deliveries in various parts of the world to varyingly strange customers.

He didn’t really want to go, but it was his job, so there he was braving the quite literally riotous streets of a war-torn country scouring the chaos for a particular woman.

War had gone back to doing her reporter schtick, but it was starting to bore her. She was interviewing an American soldier as he prattled on and on, pretending to write it down*, thinking about what her next possible career could be. Probably somewhere in the American Military-Industrial complex, she thought.

*******

*She was currently drawing a sketch of him decapitated on the battlefield.

*******

This is how the deliveryman found her. He doubled over panting from the exertion of running up to her, but managed to wheeze out, “Package for you, Miss.”

War turned to him, an intensely puzzled look on her face. “What?”

“Package for you.”

War turned her back on the soldier. “You again? Aren’t you the same…. You have another package for me?”

He held it out. It was suspiciously sword-shaped.

“But... “ She took the package and unwrapped it. It was indeed a sword, long and shiny polished metal glittering in the harsh sun. “But this means Armageddon is near. Again?”

The deliveryman held out the signature pad hopefully.

She looked at him.

“I need you to sign for it, miss.”

“But we just did this.”

“This, ma’am?”

“Receiving our artifacts. Riding to Armageddon. The whole nine yards.”

“I do recall delivering this same sword to you last year. Afraid I don’t know anything about it, though. I’m just the deliveryman.”

“Are we doing it all again?”

“Afraid I don’t know, ma’am. I just need you to sign for it, please.”

War held the sword out in both her hands, seeing her reflection in its length. “That was one year ago today,” she realised. “A year was all they decided to wait? It took six-thousand to get ready the first time.”

Hope fading, the deliveryman stretched his arms out to full length to get the pen and pad as close to her as possible. “Just need a signature, miss.”

War relented and took the pen, ripping the paper under the force of her signature. The deliveryman looked a bit put off and shuffled away, unenthusiastic about his next delivery, which would require him to pick along an extremely dirty industrial oil field.

The soldier waited around to hopefully continue bragging about how brave he was, but War ignored him. She simply continued to stare at the sword. All she said was:

“Huh.”

***************************************

“Here we all are, gathered together at last.”

Famine was the one to made this proclamation. He said this to both War and Pollution, who were uncertainly standing around their motorcycles. This time they had been summoned directly to the barren field of Armageddon, which was, as it had been at this time last year, distressingly empty.

“Just saw you last year,” said Pollution. “Not quite ‘at last’ anymore, is it?.”

Famine gave them a dirty look. “Yes, well, it’s what we said last year. Seems only right to say it again.”

“They’re trying to make Armageddon happen again on the anniversary of it failing,” said War. “Is that what’s up?”

“It is significant, isn’t it?” said Pollution. “I was thinking about having some sort of celebration anyway. One year and all that. Seems like we should commemorate it somehow.”

“That’s stupid,” said Famine. Famine usually hated commemorating things because anniversaries and celebrations always seemed to involve good food and drink. Eat, drink, and be miserable was usually how it went for him.

“Anyway,” said War, “what are we waiting for? The Big Guy’s not here yet, but shouldn’t there be, I don’t know, some sort of preliminaries going on? Wasn’t there all sorts of wacky stuff going on last year, storm in the sky, showers of fish and all that?”

A figure could be seen spiraling downwards from the sky, wings spread wide. Pollution shielded their face with their hand and stared up past the sun. “Who’s’at?”

The figure revealed itself to be an angel, a jaunty figure with a halo struggling to keep up with his erratic motion, floating just behind his head as he ran full-speed towards them.

“And who might you be?” said Famine.

The angel huffed and puffed. “The name’s--the name is Ambriel.” He caught his breath and looked around at the gathering. “Where is Death?”

As if on cue, Death appeared with a small pop of expanding air. I HAVE NEVER HAD TO KILL THE SAME HUMAN TWICE, said Death. AND I DO NOT ENJOY THE EXPERIENCE. NEITHER DID HE. WHATEVER YOU ARE PAYING THE DELIVERYMAN, YOU NEED TO PAY HIM MORE.

“Pay?” said Ambriel. “Oh, that’s right.” He snapped his fingers, and the deliveryman’s bank account balance was suddenly a few digits larger, for all the good it would do a dead man.

“So your name’s Ambriel,” said War. “But who are you?”

“I’m the one responsible for making sure the horsepersons are present at Armageddon!” he crowed.

Famine craned his neck towards the empty, blue, peaceful, quiet, decidedly-not-Armageddon sky. Pollution kicked a rock through the soft grass. War scratched her head.

WE ARE HERE, said Death.

“But where’s Armageddon?” said War. “We don’t start it. That’s the antichrist.”

“Ah,” said Ambriel, sweating. “Yes, well, we’re still working on that. It was supposed to happen a year ago, you see…”

“Yes, you summoned us on the anniversary,” said Pollution. “Are we going to do it again?”

“Turn the seas to blood?” said War, shaking her fists.

“Unleash ourselves upon the planet until nothing’s left but bones and bare rock?” said Famine, a sparkle in his eye.

“Bury humanity in the consequences of its own actions?” said Pollution giddily.

Ambriel grimaced as the three of them crowded in on him, pumping their fists in excitement.

THE FINAL REAPING, said Death.

“Yes,” said Ambriel. “Um, yes, for sure, about that…”

The excitement on their faces began to fade.

“Well, you see, I’d thought everything would be ready to go by now. The timeline they gave me for re-setting the Armageddon fittings was one year! It should be well underway by now, but…”

War and Famine looked at each other disappointedly. “But what?” said Pollution.

“But they’re not done with the paperwork yet,” said Ambriel, crumpling. “There’s been delays and delays and delays. Our field agent won’t cooperate. Hell won’t cooperate. The other departments won’t cooperate. It’s a bloody mess!”

“That sounds like your problem,” said War. “What do you want us to do about it?”

Ambriel wrung his hands. “Well, I...I don’t know.”

War pouted. “All right, well, this was a bust, then.” She spun on her heel and marched across the field. “Call me when there’s some action for me, then, love.”

“Wait!” cried Ambriel. “Don’t leave!”

“I’ll be down by the river,” said Pollution. “It’s been looking a bit too clean for my taste. Too many local community day cleanups, if you ask me.”

Ambriel nervously stuttered as Pollution sauntered away in the opposite direction. Then he looked at Famine. “I suppose you’re going to leave me, too?”

Famine checked his very expensive watch. “Well, my flight back to America doesn’t leave until five o’clock, so I might hang around a bit and see if you can kick off Armageddon in the next two hours.”

*************************************

August 25, 1993

Pollution was the first one to show up this time, bearing a wine bottle and a little party hat affixed in their pale hair. They’d worn the crown this whole time, so their head was starting to get a little crowded on top.

War had kept her sword. It was slung casually over her shoulder as she picked her way across the empty field where Armageddon ostensibly was supposed to take place. Only Famine had returned his artifact to Ambriel, because he thought modern electronic balances were much more efficient and chic than traditional balancing scales anyway, and he stood waiting to meet her empty-handed.

“Back again,” said War. “I just got a letter in the mail this time, no deliveryman. You?”

“The same,” said Famine. “They’re lucky I got it. Our mail gets filtered pretty thoroughly before it lands on my desk. Pretty rude too, I had to drop everything to run on over...I thin heaven should start reimbursing me for the travel costs.”

Death popped into existence beside Pollution. Ambriel was holding onto his arm, looking frightened.

THERE, YOU SEE? said Death. NO NEED TO KILL ANYONE TO GET A MESSAGE TO ME. WE CAN SKIP THAT AND HEAD RIGHT ON OVER TO ARMAGEDDON TOGETHER.

“Right,” said Ambriel. “Sorry.” He straightened his tunic and marched out in front of the semicircle of horsepersons. “Welcome to Armageddon!” he loudly announced. “It begins now!”

“I don’t see any signs of the end times--” Pollution began.

“Yet!” Ambriel thundered. “They shall begin any moment!”

Pollution popped open the wine bottle. “Yay.”

Ambriel, his hands still raised dramatically, began to sweat.

“The paperwork still isn’t done, is it?” said War.

“The paperwork still isn’t done,” said Ambriel, shoulders sagging.

“Then why did you call us here?” said Famine. “Look, I’m a busy man. I run a corporate empire, you know!”

“I thought it would be done!” said Ambriel, wringing his hands. “We’re just… We’re waiting on our field agent, Aziraphale. He hasn’t turned in his forms yet, and he won’t answer my messages.”

“Should we go find this Aziraphale guy and teach him a lesson?” said War.

“A lesson about punctuality in filling out paperwork?” said Pollution. “Are you sure you’re the best one to teach him that lesson?”

“All right, all right,” said Famine. “Look, Ambriel, is there anything we can do to move things along? This is the third time in a row--”

“The second anniversary,” Pollution interrupted.

“--Right, thanks, White--the third time we’ve done our ride and gone to Armageddon. It’s starting to get a bit anticlimactic.”

“That’s his job, not ours,” said War. “Pfft. Black, what’s next? You want to tempt sinners to Hell? Reap souls after death? Who else’s job do you want to do?”

Famine grew red. “I’m just saying--”

“Well, whatever,” said War, slinging her sword back into the sheath strapped across her back. She hooked her arm around Famine’s head and gave him a noogie. “We can kill some time while Ambriel finishes preparing for Armageddon.”

HMMM, said Death. YES...SINCE IT SEEMS LIKE TIME IS THE ONLY THING WE’LL BE KILLING.

******************************

August 25, 1994

Famine kept his scales this time. Their home for the next year was the corner of his desk in his office on top of 666 Fifth Avenue, right next to his extremely slim computer.

Famine played with the chain, strangely delicate and cold, when an email popped up on his computer.

To the Black horseperson of the apocalypse:

Please meet us at the appropriate place at the appropriate time. The end is nigh. The four horsemen shall ride and the world shall end in fire and blood..

Famine started to type a response. But before he could, his computer dinged with a reply: all to the previous email, from [email protected]:

Can I bring a plus one this time?

A few days and a few thousand miles later, Famine trekked over the dry ground of Armageddon with his scales in hand. Pollution and War were already standing in the middle of the field, the exact same place Ambriel had appeared the last three years.

War had a demoness hanging off her arm.

“Ah, Black!” said War. “Just in time. I was just in the process of introducing my girlfriend, Ashtarte.”

“Call me Ash,” said Ashtarte. A smile, too broad and with too many teeth that were too sharp, spread Cheshire cat-like across her features. She wore a punk mesh top, red boots, and had a little pair of horns and forked tail, like she was trying to impersonate a Halloween costume of a demon.

“Uh, okay, Ash,” said Famine.

“The Black horseperson of the apocalypse!” said Ash. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance. Big fan of your work!”

“Big fan?” said Famine. He straightened his tie. “Thanks very much.”

“We met over cocktails in a little bar in Saudia Arabia,” said War. “Making fun of the same reporters.”

Ash held up her hand in a “V” pose.

“None of us have ever really, uh…” said Famine.

“Had a girlfriend?” said War. “You don’t know that.”

Famine fidgeted. “So you have had a girlfriend?”

“Er, well, no, not really,” said War. She hefted Ash onto her shoulder and flexed her bicep; the smaller woman fit snugly into her shoulder. “But you should try it sometime! Armageddon keeps getting delayed, so we might as well enjoy our time here, right?”

“But what’s the appeal?”

“I think he doesn’t understand it,” said Pollution, “because he can’t even imagine how to get a girlfriend.”

Death appeared stormily, his biker boots thumping against the ground a bit too hard. AND WHERE IS OUR SUMMONER?

“Not here yet,” said Pollution, fiddling with the wine bottle they held. “But why don’t we have some drinks first? Enjoy our time here, right?”

They summoned a card table from somewhere, and Pollution pulled up a seat and patted the one next to them in the hope of coaxing Death to sit down. Famine ambivalently sat down next to War, who had Ash on her lap.

WE’RE NOT HAVING A PARTY, said Death. WE’RE HERE FOR BUSINESS REASONS.

“Sit down, big guy,” said Famine. “Nothing wrong with loosening up a little.”

Death remained motionless for a few moments, tense with annoyance. Then, his biker leathers crinkling, he lowered himself into a seat. BUT I WON’T HAVE ANYTHING TO DRINK.

“Aw,” said Pollution, popping the cork off the bottle. “Do you not like it?”

Death’s helmet visor reflected Pollution’s face impassively back at them as they poured drinks.

“Have you never drunk alcohol before?” said War.

Death didn’t answer.

“You haven’t, have you?” said Famine. “Do you want to try some?”

Death lifted his helmet off his head, setting it on his lap. Then he removed one leather glove, revealing his bony hand. The white stalk snaked out and curled around a glass, bringing it to his skeletal grin. The wine dribbled through his jaw and onto his leather jacket.

Famine grimaced. Pollution thought his jacket looked better with stains on it, but didn’t say so. They passed the next half hour in jovial conversation, the wine warming their bodies and lifting their spirits. Ash withdrew a deck of cards from her pocket, which entertained them as they laughed and joked.

They were all quite drunk by the time Ambriel arrived. He sprinted over at top speed, careening into the table. “What are you all doing?”

“We’re having a drink!” said Ash, waving her glass in the air and sloshing wine.

“Wh—” Ambriel took a second to look very confused at the appearance of a fifth horseperson, then shook it off and decided it didn’t matter. “Whatever! Get up, put this stuff away! Armageddon is starting!”

“For real this time?” said Pollution.

A second angel could be seen descending from Heaven. “Yes, for real this time!” Ambriel exploded. “The archangel Michael is on his way! Now get ready!”

War rolled her eyes and folded up the table. Pollution disappointedly retrieved the half-empty wine bottle, sipping from it as they walked over to Ambriel.

Michael touched down, his impressive dusky wingspan battering them with dusty clouds. “Ambriel, I was told the armies of Hell are gathering here, yes?”

“Yes!” said Ambriel. “The antichrist is coming. He’s on his way now.”

“He’s…” Michael looked over the the horsepersons. Famine shrugged. War examined her nails. Pollution continued to sip from their bottle. Death very stormily crossed his arms.

“He’s supposed to already be here,” said Michael. “I don’t see any of the signs of Armageddon…”

“I gave the antichrist Adam Young a very stern lecture about his role, and demanded he come to Armageddon,” said Ambriel. “And he said he was coming.”

Pollution cocked their head. “He said he was coming?”

“Yes. His exact words were, ‘Okay, Boomer.’”

Pollution choked, wine shooting out their nose.

***************************

August 25, 1998

“Can we meet at your restaurant next time?”

Famine turned to Pollution, the only other figure with him at the yet again empty field of Armageddon. “What?”

“The next time this happens, can we meet at one of your restaurants?”

Famine sighed. The first few times this had happened, he’d argued that they didn’t know there was going to be a ‘next time,’ but by now, the anniversary of the Apocalypse usually heralded them gathering to stand around for a while and not much else. “I doubt Ambriel would go for that. We’re supposed to be in this spot.”

Pollution shifted from foot to foot. “But the Newtrition corp has expanded, right? It has branches around here now. It wouldn’t be that far.”

“You don’t want to eat at my restaurant,” said Famine, trying to hide his shock that Pollution was so familiar with his franchise. He hadn’t thought any of the other horsepersons had cared about his silly little business. Although it was nice that someone was paying attention. “Why not?” said Pollution. “It seems nice. It produces lots of waste paper. And styrofoam cartons. Love those things.”

“It doesn’t serve actual food,” said Famine. “Just a bunch of nonsense. It has no nutritional value.”

“Well,” said Pollution. “We don’t actually need to eat, do we? Back in the forties, I went a good decade without eating. Too busy with the mills in Pittsburgh to stop and eat.”

Famine opened his mouth to deliver a snappy retort, only to find he didn’t have one.

“‘Course that was before I took the crown from Pestilence, so I was just a minor horseperson then. Well, my point is, it’s not like we’ll be affected by malnutrition. As long as it tastes good, right?”

Famine lit a cigarette. “If you want to look at it that way, I suppose.”

The rumble of a motorcycle filled the air, and War pulled up with Ash perched on the back of her bike.

“We can’t meet at my restaurant,” said Famine. “That’s inappropriate.” He wasn’t sure why the idea made him so uncomfortable, and he turned to greet War. “Red.”

“Black,” said War, dismounting. She put her bike helmet on the saddle as Ash fell off behind her. “Hey, you don’t have to call me ‘Red,’ you know.”

Famine stopped. “What?”

“I have a name.”

Famine bristled. “Whatever. Where’s that stupid little twig of an angel this time?”

“Geez, who pissed in your cereal,” said Ash, dusting herself off.

“I’m just getting a little tired of this!” said Famine. “I have to fly over from America every year in August only to be told to go right back home!”

Pollution opened a bag of crisps, savoring the grease. They looked disappointedly into the bag. “Black.”

“What?”

“Don’t ruin my crisps!”

“I’m not ruining your—” Famine suddenly realised he was ruining the crisps, because he was so damn frustrated by how inefficient Heaven and Armageddon and this whole thing was. He was used to running things like a well-oiled machine, and this….

“Black, stop ruining the poor kid’s crisps,” said War.

“You’ve never appreciated my work,” Famine snapped.

Ambriel chose this moment to appear. “All right, everyone!” he said. “This time I’ve really—”

“Black, I was very much looking forward to my crisps!” Pollution said.

“You all only notice how hard I work when it affects you!” said Famine. “I’m the only one putting real effortinto building an empire—”

“You’re the only one?” said Pollution.

Scared, Ambriel hid behind his clipboard, unsure of how to wrangle them.

Famine suddenly realised that War was gleefully egging on the fight between him and Pollution with her horseperson powers. “Red!”

The tension in the air immediately dissipated, and War slunk back, looking chastised.

His head more clear now, Famine smoothed out his tie. The booted footsteps of Death reverberated in the air before he made his appearance. AND HOW MANY ANNIVERSARIES IS THIS NOW? I’VE LOST COUNT.

“You’re late,” said Ambriel snootily.

Death turned to him. Even though he had no face to speak of, and still had his helmet on, everyone could clearly imagine the expression he would make.

“Seven,” said Pollution through a mouthful of crisps.

A second angel descended from the sky, this one unhurried, dragging its proverbial feet.

AND DO I HAVE ANYTHING TO BE LATE FOR THIS TIME? said Death.

“As a matter of fact, yes,” said Ambriel. “Because I have with me the field agent who was responsible for delaying Armageddon last time. So now he’s going to kick it off.”

A chubby angel with oodles of curly hair touched down, looking around guiltily. “Er, hello...I’m Aziraphale.”

“Oh, you looked nicer in a dress,” said Pollution.

“All right,” said Ambriel. “Let’s go, then. Go on.”

Aziraphale shuffled his feet.

“Don’t we need the antichrist?” volunteered Famine.

“The antichrist is unavailable,” said Ambriel icily. “We’ll have to make do without him.”

“Unavailable?!” exclaimed War.

“He means Adam Young doesn’t want Armageddon to happen,” said Aziraphale, who then shut up right quick at an elbow jab from Ambriel.

“You can make it happen without the antichrist?” said Pollution, crunching through a mouthful of crisps. “Thought was the whole point of him. So how does it work?”

“Ahem,” said Ambriel. “That is none of your concern. Just worry about your own part. Now, let’s begin.”

Ambriel stepped forward to direct the horsepersons. War kept looking up at the sky, noticing Armageddon didn’t seem to be happening. Pollution licked their fingers, other hand firmly stuck in their crisps packet.

“And now Aziraphale will--Aziraphale?”

While Ambriel had had his back turned, Aziraphale had scuttled off, wings drawn wide and flapping erratically like a prey animal running from a fox. “Ahhh! Get back here!”

Ambriel went off chasing him. War stood where she was, sword poised, and watched him go. “Um…”

Pollution finished their packet of crisps and dropped it on the ground, wiping their hands on their shirt. “Is he coming back?”

They stayed there for about half an hour waiting for Ambriel, and decided he wasn’t coming back. Ash sweet-talked War into hitting the bars after that. They managed to convince everyone but Death to come along, too.

*************************

August 25, 2001

“Hey, why does it take an apocalypse for us to get together?” said War.

Pollution picked idly at the tablecloth on the little picnic table they had summoned. They were trying to decide if ketchup or mustard would make better stains on it. “Hmm?”

War straddled the bench, picking at the picnic basket. “I mean, I know not everyone likes to spend time with their coworkers outside of work, but there’s nothing stopping us from getting together outside of Armageddon, right?”

Pollution stopped. “Hmm?”

“She’s saying she wants to spend more time with you guys,” said Ash.

“We can do that?!” Pollution said.

“Well, yeah, I guess,” said War.

Pollution’s eyes sparkled.

“Come sit down and enjoy this little basket you put together,” said Ash. “It looks lovely.”

The weather was fabulous, once again with no signs of the inclement weather heralding Armageddon, and a delicious breeze tugged at them and whipping waves through the dry summer grass. Pollution fished out some plastic utensils and set them out on the table.

Ash took a sandwich from the basket. It definitely had worms of some sort in it, but being from Hell, she was used to such things.

“Where’s Famine, anyway?” said Pollution, setting a pile of napkins on the table and watching them immediately blow away in the wind.

“Oh, he’s coming!” said War. “And he said he was bringing a plus one this year.”

“A plus one?”

“Sounds like he’s got a girlfriend too. Or boyfriend. Or what-have-you.”

Pollution scratched their head. “Wonder who it could be.”

With a rustle of grass, Death stood beside them.

“Come sit down!” said War. “We’ve been waiting for you!”

Death looked at them contemplatively. I DIDN’T RECEIVE A SUMMONS THIS YEAR.

“Huh,” said Pollution, letting their sandwich wrapper fall to the ground. “I just realised, neither did I.”

“Yeah,” said War, waving her hand dismissively. “But after doing this annually for ten years, I think we get the point, right?”

Death stood like a silent sentinel. Death was rarely the type to display any emotion at all, but to War and Pollution, it looked like he was fighting to not indulge in some unconventional display of sentiment.

A smile spread across War’s face. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

I JUST WANTED TO SEE IF I WAS NEEDED THIS YEAR, said Death.

“Well, Armageddon is probably delayed again,” said War. “So you’re not, really. You’re free to leave.”

Death stood still.

“Come sit down,” said Ash, patting the bench. “You’re always so serious.”

Death clomped over and swung his enormous legs over the wooden bench.

“Heard Famine’s got himself a new squeeze,” gossiped War.

OH, said Death. YES…

The grass in the field next to them dried up, swirling brittle pieces making a small tornado, and with a mournful nicker, a skeletal horse materialized. Its emaciated frame was oozing with dripping wounds and festering decay. Atop its back was a figure in a white robe with a long, beaked mask.

Famine pulled up on his motorcycle. “Fellas, good to see you again!”

“It’s been a very long time,” said the newcomer, although no, he wasn’t new at all…

“You brought Pestilence!” Pollution yelled. “He’s not a horseperson anymore! I replaced him!”

“Tsk tsk, you young punk,” said Pestilence, dismounting. “No respect at all.”

Pollution glared.

“He’s not here as a horseperson,” said Famine. “He’s my plus one.”

“That’s cheating!” said Pollution.

Pestilence winked, which was absolutely infuriating.

Pollution crossed their arms as Famine and Pestilence took their seats. “This looks delightful,” said Pestilence, taking a crisp from a bowl.

Pollution grumbled. Famine was a little disgruntled that they had set up a nice meal, but he muttered an echo of Pestilence’s praise.

“It’s just weird,” said Pollution. “It’s like you’re dating my dad.”

“I’m not your Dad,” said Pestilence. “We barely met before you kicked me out.”

“I think you just don’t like Pestilence,” said Famine.

Pollution bristled. “Maybe.”

Famine shrugged. Somewhere in the world, the minor horseperson of Awkward Interpersonal Issues felt their power surge.

“It’s because they’re afraid I’ll wrangle the job of horseperson #3 from them,” said Pestilence. “The anti-vax moms in the United States are making them nervous.”

Pollution’s cheeks went red.

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that,” said Pestilence. “I don’t want to be one of the Main Four anymore. It’s quite dull. The humans’ attitude towards smallpox ruined the fun for me. Some of my best work, all down the drain. Feff.” He sipped some cola. “But you seem to be doing a splendid job. I hear nowadays everyone’s mad about straws, of all things.”

Pollution perked up. The atmosphere at the table was much lighter after that.

“Isn’t Ambriel going to show up?” said War. “Usually right about now is when he comes down, babbling about how Armageddon is really going to happen this time, and how we need to get ready.”

Pestilence scratched his head. “Ambriel? He’s the one who had to come tell me they were swapping me out for Pollution. He still works in the Department of Armageddon? Poor sod always got the worst jobs pushed onto him.”

Ambriel did, in fact, show up eventually. He had none of his usual bravado. He dragged his sandaled feet through the dirt and flopped down to join them at the picnic table. The four of them shared a look, then looked back at Ambriel. “Hey, kid, what’s wrong?” said Famine.

“Useless,” said Ambriel. “It’s all useless. Nothing I do ever works. No matter how hard I try, Heaven can’t get its crap together to make Armageddon happen. Oh, pardon my language.”

“Hey, cheer up,” said Pollution. “The first time we tried, the four of us got beaten by little kids with sticks and rocks. That’s way more humiliating than anything you’ve had to go through.”

Famine glared at Pollution. Pollution unwrapped a lolly, enjoying the crinkling of the wrapper.

Ambriel thunked his head on the table, groaning. “No use, it’s no use!”

“Well, we’re all having a lovely time anyway!” said Ash. “August 25 is my favorite day of the year now!”

“It’s supposed to be Armageddon,” moaned Ambriel. “It’s not supposed to be a celebration.”

War stabbed a little cocktail weiner with her Bowie knife. “We’ve been known to celebrate in unconventional ways.”

***************************

Present day

“1845.”

“No, that was you?”

Pollution sucked on their choco-whippy milkshake, eyes bouncing from War to Pestilence.

“Yep,” said Pestilence, leaning back, looking very pleased with himself.

“I thought for sure that was Famine,” said War.

“I wish,” said Famine. “I had been working in Ireland for a few years at that point, but hadn’t had much success.”

“Phytophthora infestans,” said Pestilence. “One of my favorites.

“He refuses to lend it to me,” said Famine. “Greedy bastard.”

“Not your jurisdiction.”

They all shared a hearty laugh.

“Oh, Pollution,” said War, snapping her fingers. “I just remembered. That science project we were talking about the other day, the bacteria that humans were cultivating to break down plastic.”

Pollution’s face screwed up in displeasure.

“I was working on trying to divert some of the NHS’s funding into more bioweapon applications. Maybe if you do me a little favor in return, I can get their funding pulled?”

Pollution nodded happily, sucking through their straw.

“Hey, here he comes!” said War, throwing up her hand.

Death strode over, standing at the edge of the table.

“Sit down,” said Ash, patting the seat. “We’re having a lovely time.”

I HAVE… said Death. If it were possible, he seemed embarrassed.

“What?” said Pollution.

I HAVE ALSO BROUGHT A PLUS ONE.

“What, a boyfriend?” said Pestilence.

NOT LIKE THAT…. said Death. He reached into his jacket and withdrew a small bundle of fur, which blinked and mewled.

Ash had stars in her eyes, putting her hands on her head as though to keep her brain from exploding out. “Is that a kitten?”

I FOUND IT OUTSIDE.

“It’s so cute!” said Pollution.

I HAD NEVER NOTICED THEM BEFORE, said Death. THEY ARE...NICE.

“Well, nothing wrong with enjoying the pleasures of the world,” said Famine. “Since it seems like we’ll be here for a while.”

Death sat down, putting the cat on the table. The minimum wage employees scrambling to make the food didn’t have the time to notice or care.

“We were just discussing some of the other anniversaries we have besides August 25,” said War. “Turns out we have quite a lot of them! We should share.”

Death was silent.

“February 14,” said War. “The start of the first War in Mesopotamia. That was my favorite one. I find the date so deliciously funny with what they’ve done with it now.”

“September 27,” said Pollution. “When the first mass-produced automobile left the factory.”

“What about you?” siad Famine.

“Black’s right,” said Pollution. “You must have one.”

Death hummed for a minute. Then: NOVEMBER 16. THE DAY THE FIRST MAN DIED.

“And kicked all this off,” said Famine. “I’ll drink to that.”

They clinked their glasses against each other’s.

“Hey,” said Famine. “You guys have been calling me ‘Black,’ this whole time, and while I guess it’s technically what I am…. Well, I picked a name. A more human name. You could use it, if you like.”

“Would you like that?” said Pollution.

“I think so. It’s Sable.”

“Raven Sable,” said War. “That’s right. I like it.”

“What about you?” said Sable. “Don’t you have one?”

“Oh, yeah!” said War. “Wouldn’t that just be great! Call me Carmine.”

“It’s such a good name!” said Ash joyfully.

Carmine beamed. She’d never known this would feel good, but it did.

Pollution shyly tapped their fingers on the table. “Chalk, please.”

All eyes turned towards Death.

“Well?” said Chalk. “Only if you want to.”

AZRAEL.

“It’s perfect,” said Ash.

Sable snapped his fingers. “Guys, hold on a second, I just remembered something.”

“Hm?” said Chalk.

“August 25. Armageddon.”

“So?” said Carmine. “That never happens anyway.”

“Well, we were so excited to meet we forgot we were supposed to go to Armageddon first.”

Carmine choked on the pickle she had been eating. “Oh yeah,” said Ash, very slowly. “I guess that’s fine, though. But, oh dear… Did anyone tell Ambriel?”

Azrael grinned, moreso than a regular skeletal grin. I’M SURE HE’S DOING JUST FINE.

“I’ve got it! I’ve finally got it!”

Ambriel, almost tripping over his robes, waved his papers in the air as he sprinted towards Armageddon. “I finally have all the departments in accord, the stars have aligned, the paperwork is signed, the—”

Ambriel stopped and beheld the field of Armageddon, butterflies floating by and flowers bouncing merrily, very conspicuously empty and peaceful and not trodden by the harbingers of Armageddon.

“Oh, dear…”

#good omens #my writing #my good omens fanfic #gohe

5 notes · View notes

dreamingsushi · 4 years

Text

The Untamed - Episode 32

So. I finally gathered the courage to watch episode 32. I am still not over episode 31 yet. It was way too sad. Like way way way too sad. I still can’t believe everything that happened and I can’t forgive Wen Qing and Wen Ning for giving me so much pain. I love two siblings so much and it never, but like NEVER occurred to me that Wen Qing could actually die. Well she’s not dead yet, but she will and it breaks my heart. I was a fool to hope that maybe somewhere near the end of this drama, she could have her happy ending with Jiang Cheng even though they grew apart after the Jiang people were all exterminated by the Wen people. That otp not fulfilled... I feel so stupid for hoping. I should have known better.

And I am still so not ready for this, but I have to keep moving because I started reading the book too and I am giving myself some spoilers as the drama and the novel don’t follow the same timeline. Still not ready, but it’s about time to press that play button.

So sweet Wei Ying made it all the way to Yilintai without anybody noticing that he’s there. Jin people are really bad at security. From afar, he watches Yanli crying over the death of her husband. She’s so pale. It’s not good for her to stay like this when she just gave birth. The first person to notice that Wei Ying is here is Jin Zixuan’s mother. Wei Ying tries to leave in a hurry, but it’s too late, he has been seen and Yanli calls out his name, running with her baby in her arms (not too smart..). As Zixuan’s mom calls for people to arrest him, he looks one last time at Yanli crying and leaves before they can catch him. This is already so sad. Wei Ying isn’t the nicest of guys I believe, but he has a good heart and to know that he put his shijie in such as state of pain must kill him.

All alone in the forest, he hears yet again screams and black fog emanates from him again. I really enjoy Xiao Zhan’s acting for there scenes, because we can see through his facial expressions the inner struggles Wei Ying is facing. And it’s actually so painful to watch. Then he hears Yanli calling for him, but it’s only an illusion, she’s not there and he feels so bad. And desperate even, because there’s nothing he can do to make amends anymore. And he lost everything he fought for, everything he sacrificed so much for. He hears voices telling him to keep control, but I think it’s already too late. It’s way too much for him to handle all alone anymore.

You know what pains me the most about Wei Yin is how lonely he is with his choices. It’s somehow his own fault for not sharing his burden with anyone, but at some point he didn’t really think of himself while doing all this. For sure, his heroic side plays a lot in how he makes decisions, if he didn’t have that tendency to always try to save everyone, maybe things wouldn’t have gone downhills like this. Especially between him and Jiang Cheng. I don’t think though that if not for his acting the Wen clan wouldn’t have tried to harm the Jiang. I think they just used Wei Ying as a pretext and they would have found something else instead. Things start to go really bad when he gives away his “golden core” to Jiang Cheng. I don’t know why taking Yanli’s one never occurred to anyone? Maybe because she wasn’t actually such a good cultivator which is why at first Jin Zixuan looked down on her. Such a complicated story.

Poor Wei . Ying. He’s trying to keep control over the voices he hears, but it seems harder and harder. And maybe he just wants to give in now.

No... they hung all the innocent people from Luanzanggang... This is so bad. They didn’t do anything wrong from the very beginning. And Wei Ying seeing this when people are badmouthing Wen Ning. Poor Wen Ning who never asked for anything. Do you guys think it’s fun for him to be used as a weapon when he comes from a branch specialized in healing? Anyways, those babbling people make Wei Ying angry and he opens a fight with them by starting to play the flute. But there’s something wrong since he bleeds black blood... Of course, seeing Chen Qing they all kind of panic: none of them is a match for Wei Ying and they know very well.

But I didn’t think he would defeat all of them so fast. Then one of them asks what’s the point of attacking them instead of the big families and heads of clans. That doesn’t please Wei Ying at all. If I were them, I would keep a low profile.

Omg. That evil look in Wei Ying’s eyes. He definitely lost himself over the power of his new cultivation methods, just as Lan Zhan feared. He leaves the small fries, and this isn’t good news for my poor heart, I feel it.

The Jin are having some kind of ritual with the heads of the clans. I hate that Jin Guangshan. He and Wen Ruohan are literally the same, but at least Wen Ruohan didn’t pretend to be a nice guy and just for that I like him better than Jin Guangshan. Even though they are both horrible.

Okay, the ceremony they are having is to commemorate the death of those that died while fighting Wen Ning, I guess. Makes sense. And involves breaking jade cups? I’m not sure it’s jade though. I’ve seen jade that colour, but hard to tell on a screen and for the drama they obviously wouldn’t use the real thing.

No... that ugly Jin Guangshan. He exploded the box containing the ashes of Wen Qing and Wen Ning... I HATE YOU! I ASK FOR JUSTICE. But not from Wei Ying, leave him alone and out of this. Jiang Cheng doesn’t look good at all. Poor baby. Until then, even if he couldn’t have, she was at least alive somewhere, but now... Well as the crowd screams well done, neither Lan Xichen, Nie Mingjue nor Jiang Cheng look comfortable. Well, if three chefs of clans didn’t agree, why did you did nothing? I hope there is a good explanation for that later. They all knew these people were innocent just by looking at them. That’s common sense. They could have kept living in exile.

But now, where’s Lan Zhan? And little Ah Yuan? I didn’t see Ah Yuan hanging with the others. Maybe because he as child? That would be wrong to show that on TV.

Oh right as I was asking about Lan Zhan. He arrives just as that group of gossiping people get to stand up again only to learn that Wei Ying is already inside.

So now, Jin Guangshan says that next, they are going to reduce to ashes Wei Ying. The look of panic in Jiang Cheng’s eyes. He still cares a lot for his adoptive bother. And right then, Wei Ying starts laughing like a mad man. It’s demonic... Oh no poor Wei Ying went crazy. He really went mad. They blame him for killing people, but won’t allow him the right to fight if they attack him because he’s pure evil and if somebody dies under his weapon it’s not defending himself. He should fight back and hope he is lucky enough not to die.

They are afraid. Afraid of Wei Ying’s powers. They acclaimed him when he used it for them, but when they realized they could never control such a force, they wanted to take it away from him, they stopped trusting him and began to see him as a threat instead as an ally.

When they blame him for killing innocent people, he retorts that they did the say with the Wen people from Luanzanggang. Jiang Cheng looks like he has something to say, but remains silent. Why doesn’t he say anything?

They blame him again for giving a curse to that annoying cousin, they don’t need proof, because he is so evil. Wei Ying, don’t mess up and win this with words. Show them who’s the smartest.

An please Jiang Cheng, say something. Or Lan Zhan, come faster. You’re both my only hope...

Well too late for that. Somebody decided that shooting and arrow at Wei Ying was very smart. HOW DARE YOU? He was doing so fine until now. You ruined everything you moron! Wei Ying was only talking. You just killed all of those he was trying to protect and when he doesn’t even lift a finger to get revenge, when he only tries to put some sense into you guys, you just shoot him like that? Well too bad for, you will need more than arrow to kill our Wei Ying. And also you’re dead. But Wei Ying, that wasn’t smart. Even though he deserved it. It’s going to be a disaster. I don’t want to see this. There were many choices that Wei Ying made leading to this, he brought it upon himself somehow. However he is not full to blame, he was trying his best. He was not responsible for the curse and if not for that stupid curse he would have participated in the festivities for the baby and people would have seen he’s still the same nice guy. But well, that’s being optimistic. That Jin Guangshan is way too greedy to leave the Stygian Tiger seal in his hands and ultimately that would have been a problem.

Whatever he does, they already decided that his the bad guy, so he’s starting to act like one. Then Jin Guangshan orders to kill him. And Again. Jin Guangyao’s smile. He’s pure evil TT He should know better than anyone else what it feels like to have everyone else look down on you, how much it hurts, but it looks like he’s enjoying not being the hated one this time around. Too much. I understand where he comes from, I do pity him for having such a father. However, you can’t enjoying seeing others in pain because of that, that’s not a good enough reason. But you know what, Wei Ying is probably everything that Jin Guangyao ever wanted to be. Even though Wei Ying wasn’t the son of Jiang Fengmian, he was never treated like a servant. Even though he wasn’t the most studious student, they all recognized how talented he was. I wouldn’t be surprised that Jin Guangyao was jealous of Wei Ying.

As Jin Guangshan orders to kill Wei Ying, only Lan Xichen, Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue don’t follow. Oh no. Wei Ying starts playing the flute again. I don’t feel it. They are no match for him. And he doesn’t seem to care to spare Jiang Cheng and the Jiang disciple. This is so unlike him... Oh no, but then he spares people from the Jiang. Relief. But as he plays, he looks possessed. Jiang Cheng, please do something to stop this. Quickly. Move.

LAN ZHAN! YES! FINALLY! NOOOOOO! Wei Ying wants to fight with Lan Zhan... I can’t accept this. Please don’t. He’s your only loyal friend, the only one who ever stoop up for you. Wei Ying, you will regret this. Lan Zhan pleads that he stops. And then he does. Because he asks what else he can do. And then Lan Zhan tells him to trust him, that things are not as they look like. Wei Ying. Please. Trust Lan Zhan. I know how it’s going to end, but I still hope for a change. It’s way too heartbreaking.

No. No. No. Yanli came out. She’s so dumb sometimes, it’s annoying. But she’s the only one able to move Wei Ying. So he comes down to look for Yanli and Lan Zhan helps him fight those coming at him.

And then a shadow appears and starts playing the flute too. Oh no. My good ending. Who’s stealing that away from me? May you die in much pain, get back ten folds how you hurt me you big bad guy. Or girl. At this point I don’t care, I’m just so angry and I don’t want Yanli to die so stupidly like this. Wei Ying then realizes that someone else tries to pass for him and makes kuilei. Oh god. This is going real bad. Oh no, Jiang Cheng believes it’s still Wei Ying... HE’S NOT EVEN PLAYING ANYMORE. And then a kuilei tries to kill Yanli, but Wei Ying can’t do anything to stop it, he can’t control the kuilei. Jiang Cheng is devastated, Wei Ying even more. Lan Zhan tells him to stop the kuilei. EVEN LAN ZHAN DOESN’T BELIEVE IN HIM. WHAT THE... But he even saw Wei Ying stop playing. Jiang Cheng is super angry at Wei Ying. How can he be manipulated so easily? As if Wei Ying could hurt his shijie. The only one who never doubted him from the start...

Jiang Cheng blames Wei Ying, but he tells he doesn’t know why wouldn’t they listen to him, that he did not do it. Jiang Cheng tries to comfort his sister, but she only cares for Wei Ying and tries to speak to him. But as she’s going to finish a sentence, she pushes Wei Ying away and somebody stabs her. It’s over. She won’t survive this...

That was the worst that could have happened. Now there’s no turning back for Wei Ying. He turned dark because of his hatred and anger.

This was as hard as episode 31. I’m crying me eyes out. So many innocent people died in this episode. It’s unbearable for me. The more I watch, the more they destroy my heart and I can’t keep with it. It’s way too hard. By killing Yanli, they broke Wei Ying. And then Jiang Cheng will kill Wei Ying and it means Yanli sacrificed herself for nothing. She did it so Wei Ying would live, not for Jiang Cheng to kill him afterwards... It’s like Jiang Cheng is killing his sister a second time. I thought everything would have ended by episode 32, but I still have episode 33 now. Please spare me. I can’t go through that anymore...

9 notes · View notes

b-grademoviemonsters · 4 years

Text

The Velocipastor

Premise according to IMDB: After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. At first horrified by this new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime. And ninjas.

Premise according to us: Every so often, in an otherwise ordinary life, a movie comes along that is so visionary, so transformative and so ahead of its time that your life is never quite the same afterwards. It probably goes without saying that this is not that film. But damned if we didn’t enjoy the heck out of it anyway.

Wow, that’s high praise there. Honestly, coming across this gem after some of the dross we’ve sat through of late was like going to sleep beside the Trumpster (you nestled in your comfy bed, him prostate and unblinking in his cryovac chamber) and waking up to see a shirtless Justin Trudeau standing over you holding a breakfast tray piled high with croissants and a huge bowl of Nutella.

Mmmm, Nutella. That’s so good smeared across croissants! Right... yes... croissants. Because that would definitely not be the only place we would be smearing Nutella in this scenario. But moving right along…

Ah yes, back to The Velocipastor. Now, where were we? Well, I was about to share my general rule of thumb about this kind of movie. Which is that if the words ‘WTF’ come out of my mouth within the first five minutes, followed by vigorous thrashing of the rewind button, then we’re onto a winner. And these guys managed it with the below shot. *cue supermassive spoiler alert*

You see, during the film’s first few minutes or so, a horrific car bomb kills the family of the film’s hero priest right before his very eyes. But instead of a glorious explosion of sound, violence, body parts and middle aged parental polyester across the big screen, the director merely added a descriptive tile in a font I think came standard with Windows Office 98. I mean, have you ever seen a more excellent manifestation of having no budget than this?

Wait, so there was no explosion, no body parts and no gore... and that’s a good thing? YES! A very good thing. Because it shows they get the essence of B-grade monster movie making, which is that the budget may be small, but the tongue-in-cheek ideas don’t have to be. Talk about happy days!

Still, exploding parents is a pretty awful thing to happen to someone so young, right? Totally. But luckily our hero priest Fr Doug has the wise words of mentor Fr Stuart to ponder as he mourns his loss while sipping - nay sculling - the blood of Jesus Christ in a way we’re fairly certain the Vatican would not be keen on. “Your parents died Doug. That’s what parents do. They die on you.” Dibs putting that on a commemorative T-shirt.

So how exactly does a shattered soul such as Doug then rebuild from there? Well it’s simple. You go to the place where, in the words of Fr Stu, “you think God will not follow.” In this case, China*. And we know it’s China because, despite its resemblance to an everyday tract of north American wilderness, we are offered a few subtle clues. Namely the word ‘China’ appearing on screen in massive type and the sudden arrival of a warrior chick in a white martial arts suit and a vaguely racist bamboo peasant hat. Mind you, we don’t get too much of a look at her since she’s busy copping an arrow straight through the chest from a random ninja in the forest. Then comes the indignity of spending her final moments with our hero priest, who takes one look at the gushing bloody wound and arrowhead embedded prominently in her torso and reaches for the obvious question only a man anyone would ask in the circumstances: “Are you hurt?” Honestly, in her shoes, we would have passed him the cursed dinosaur tooth of the Dragon Warrior too. *note this film predates the arrival of the coronavirus.

By the way, just rewinding matters for a second, I couldn’t help but notice that Doug somehow managed to drive to China ... from the US: Yes, we clocked that too. But rather than get bogged down in logical exploration, let’s just assume Sarah Palin was the film’s geography consultant and move on.

OK, done. Next minute, we’re suddenly back in the US, where Doug is having some bad dreams and feeling hungry* and a prostitute called Carol is being roughed up by her pimp Frankie Mermaid, whose subtle moniker refers to the fact he’s “swimming in bitches”. Frankie old mate, you are so going to die. But not, apparently, before sending Carol out into a dark forest to drum up some business. *if you get what we mean

Wait, is that really where hookers hang out these days? #askingforafriend Well not if they want to make any money, no. But hey, no sacrifice is too great in the pursuit of #plotdevelopment. And just as we type that here it comes, in the form of an armed offender keen to separate Carol from her cash. If only there was someone, anyone, who could just randomly stumble into the forest and rescue our damsel in distress. Oh wait. Is that Fr Doug? Boy, he looks kind of hungry* *if you get what we mean

Next minute: It’s the next morning and a surprisingly buff Fr Doug is in the hooker’s bed. But not like *that*. Because she just wants to chat. Or at least to engage in some very unsophisticated single entendres about how “last night was amazing” even though “it all happened so quickly”. Fortunately her blow by blow* account sets Doug’s mind at ease, except for the bit where he turned into a dinosaur and ate someone. Which he does not believe. Because, and say it with me here religious zealots, “Dinosaurs never existed.” * Wash your mind out with soap - this is a common expression, not a sexual euphenism... yet.

Of course they didn’t. Well I assume she eventually convinces him he’s part velociraptor and that they should use his powers to rid the world of evil. But we don’t want to give away the rest of the movie do we? No, we most certainly do not want to spoil the sure-to-be-hugely-unexpected plot twists of a movie called The Velocipastor. And honestly, half the fun is in the surprises. So instead, let’s just share a few of the queries we asked each other along the way: * Did that guy really just say he’s going to survive the Vietnam War without taking a single hit? I mean, has he ever seen a war movie? * Really? You bought nunchakus to a fight with ninjas? Really? * Wait, does that exorcist have goblin ears? * Are they honestly going to boink for the first time under a chenille duvet? * No, I mean seriously, under a chenille duvet????

Wait, if our hero is a priest, then who is the prostitute boinking? Sorry, can’t answer that. But *cough* The Thorn Birds *cough*.

Well at least tell us Frankie Mermaid bites it bad: Again, mum’s the word. But let’s just say confession isn’t always good for the soul, especially when you may or may not be confessing to a certain earlier car bomb murder.

Intriguing. Well to something you can tell us, did the film get good reviews? To answer this let’s turn to our beloved critics over at the IMDB: “This movie cured my cancer and my acne, my asthma is gone and I don't need my glasses anymore.” Nuff said. Final verdict? Yep! And that’s without even mentioning the best ninjas versus dinosaur fight scene EVER committed to film. EVER. Which I really wanted to film and post here but #respectforcopyright.

Vanilla vodkas needed to sit through it (out of 10): None. And that would be true even if we hadn’t just drunk our own body weight in sugar-free soft drink.

1 note · View note

zer0pm · 6 years

Text

Imagine asking the chancellor for a selfie.

A/N: Odd? Definitely but I was curious myself haha. To note, this will be a female!reader since a lady approached me with a deeply moving request. I am working on the response for it, but I hope this piece will do until then. Enjoy~

This is a terrible idea.

You take a few steps.

A terrible, terrible idea.

Closer.

The worst idea you have ever had.

So close you were nearly at arm’s length. In your mind, you knew you should have tailed it the second you recognized him. Who in their right minds simply just walks up to the Chancellor of Niflheim out in the open anyways? For all you know, he could have guards hiding somewhere amongst the crowd, ready to tackle you to the floor. Yet it never came.

His back was towards you and you immediately tensed at seeing how much he towered over you. You probably needed to reach on your toes just to tap his shoulder. His broad, broad shoulders that appear accentuated by his signature long coat, scarves, and paldrons. Such interesting accessories for an attire, but you admitted he made it work. It seemed to heighten his presence. He really wouldn’t need guards against you.

You shook your head from admiring him further. There was something you wanted to do. And it may well end in embarrassment. You shouldn’t waste time just ogling his back though you had to admit, despite that much of it covered by his fedora, his wine locks looked rather luscious from behi-STOP IT!

A quiet sigh escapes you and your shoulders slump. Perhaps, this was a bad idea, after all. Your nerves getting the better of you, you turn around and began to walk away.

???: “Was there something I can help you with?”

Your body freezes in place, the hairs on your skin go on end. That voice. It sounds even huskier in person, is that even possible?! Your throat takes a painful gulp as you slowly twist your head towards the person speaking to you.

Ardyn Izunia. Looking straight at you, his head tilted slightly, an amused and curious grin gracing his rugged face. He’s even better looking in person! You were close to melting into a puddle as it became more real to you that he was speaking to you directly, that Chancellor Ardyn Izunia was asking you a question. Yes and if you continue to gape at him like a fish, he’ll realize just how much of a crazy fan girl you are.

That thought snapped you back to reality and you tried to muster your courage again.

You: “I-I was wondering, sir, if you would... I-If I could... Perhaps with your permission, we can-“

Screwing it up royally. You could not understand how difficult it was to ask him something so simple, yet here you are fumbling with your words and making yourself look like a complete bumbling idiot in front of one of the most powerful men in the empire. Even as you had your phone out, ready and prepared, you could not for the life of you summon the courage to do it.

Sweat was beginning to form across your brow and your cheeks were burning up. It was getting harder and harder to breathe as you still could not get the words out. Suddenly, the back of your hand that held your phone was held by a gloved one. It turns your hand over to have the screen facing upwards for you both to see. The chancellor looks down and eyes at the device.

Ardyn: “What is this? Are you spying on me, little rabbit?”

You: “Wait, what?! N-N-No! I swear, it is n-nothing like that!”

Ardyn: “Then why is your gadget set in photo mode, if not to capture some record of me? You’ve been staring at me long enough, dear girl. Perhaps, you had hoped to catch me in the midst of something scandalous?”

He knew you were staring at him? A lump forms in your throat, you were getting nervous again. You had to tell him that he had it wrong. That you were staring but not to gather proof that would sully his reputation but to appreciate him because of his reputation. He was a mysterious man who appeared to come from nowhere and nothing then made a name for himself in the empire faster than anyone you can think of in history. Today, you saw him in the flesh for the first time, you had to commemorate that! Now, if only you can express that vocally.

You: “Can I take a selfie with you?”

Smooth. Real smooth. He seems just as taken aback by your choice of words as the challenging gleam in his playful eyes lessened and was replaced with something unrecognizable.

Ardyn: “A...selfie?”

It sounded even stranger from his lips, of course you merely focused on the way the word rolled on his tongue as he enunciated it. The blush was coming back hotter than ever. A simple rejection would spare you from this shameful and excessively dragging situation.

A pregnant pause passes. Unexpectedly, the chancellor erupts in near-deafening laughter, shifting the ominous air around you. You nearly tripped yourself off balance at the sound and noticed that the people passing by you were staring at the oddity happening right now. Never had you heard the chancellor so...jolly. On television or even during radio appearances, you’ve heard him chuckle or slightly laugh but they mostly stemmed from his throat, practiced by years of public speech and supported by the natural husky timbre unique only to him. This...This sounded free and unrestrained and genuine. You would have liked to listen to it just a bit longer, but all too soon it died down, a soft huff releases from his chest when he catches a small breath, his stance relaxed. Ardyn looks down at you now, his smirk from earlier gone and replaced by a toothy smile that made your heart skip a beat.

You just barely notice that he still has not let go of your hand until he finally did so, brushing his fingers along the back of your hand. He moved to take your phone from your grasp. At this, you were about to say something but had the words caught in your throat as he moved his broad form closer to you.

Ardyn: “It would be my honor.”

You were shocked. Oh, so shocked. By more importantly you were relieved. Relieved that you weren’t rejected nor were you being made fun of for such a request, you finally let go of the breath you had been holding.

You: “Thank you so much.”

Remembering where you were and that you were about to receive what you have struggled to asked for, you moved yourself into position. Your back facing him as he settles behind you and holds the phone in front of you both, a little ways above you so you had to tilt your head up. A gleeful smile sneaks their way upon your face.

Ardyn: “A beautiful smile you have, my lady.”

He liked your smile! This is really happening, you heart was jumping. Really, you couldn’t be happier. Nothing could ruin this. In the self-portrait feature of the phone, you see the both of you on the LCD screen, his handsome face trained in a smile as well, a dreamy look in his golden eyes. Instead of looking at the small camera at the edge of your phone, his eyes seem to catch yours through the screen and you lost yourself losing breath again. Your lips hanging open as you find yourself trapped in his gaze.

He seems to notice this and creates a small bit of distance between you two slightly to allow him room to bend over a bit to place his head next to yours. His other hand which was on your shoulder squeezes you slightly. Whether it was to comfort you or to ensure that your attention was still entirely on him, you were not sure but you found yourself again on edge because of him in the most exciting of ways. You feel the strands of his wine-colored hair and the wisp of his warmth breath tickle against your ear. Not once did his eyes break away from yours on the phone, igniting a flame throughout your whole body.

Ardyn: “Ready for me, little rabbit?”

202 notes · View notes

rkrosememories · 5 years

Text

hello everyone, i hope you’re all well. happy rkfifth! five years, that’s a fair portion of time, half a decade in fact! i was contemplating on whether i wanted to write up one of these posts, as i usually do something similar when my own personal anniversary with rookies comes around, but for the sake of this being the big ol’ 5, i’m willing to do it. let’s take a walk down memory lane shall we and see where it all began for little ol’ me ( i got a job interview today, yay! )

i joined the krp community in august 2014, and rookies was one of those rps i considered joining, and a part of me wishes i did. i didn’t though, i found the large size of the roleplay to be somewhat intimidating so i ended up going on to make my own idol themed roleplay; which was fairly successful in its own way! ( r.i.p apollokrp ). but, i did end up meeting steph there, and eventually, i would end up being convinced to join rookies in july 2015; bringing forth my first rk muse, rkseokmin ( that’s dokyeom of seventeen, btw ). he didn’t last for long, and neither did my other two muses rkkyungri ( yes, i roleplayed kyungri prior to this, looking back, she was sort of like rkrose, being from australia and all ) and rksana, who i brought to rookies in july 2015 and december 2015. and now, looking back i don’t really have any strong attachments to these muses, i think i really just brought them in on a whim, and it wouldn’t be until the following year that i truly found my place at rookies.

come may 2016, season three of the mgas had begun and i decided to give rookies another go. damn rp! pulling me in and trying to get me invested! this time round, i brought forth a muse which y’all will definitely be familiar with. rkjuyeon, who was known as rkseo back then. and for anyone newer, that’s rksaercm. it all began with her, my tall dancing gay who had ambitions of idoldom since a young age. she had auditioned with her cousin in a process called the deathmatches ( you guys, if you weren’t around during like ... early 2016, you won’t know the pain of reserving / applying etc. as the old main blog was ancient. anyways, bless the rookies team for keeping everything going for so long ) and she failed to make it through. meanwhile, her cousin ends up winning the whole goddamn program. what a fluke. i did end up dropping her though, although she did return a few months later in september!

and we fast forward to july 2016; enter rkrose. blackpink’s iconic dance practice video was released and instantly fell in love, with one member in particular ( everyone was ranting and raving about lisa, but i couldn’t take my eyes off of the girl with braids in her hair ). that girl, was park chaeyoung, who like me, is a fellow australian! i instantly knew that i had to bring her to rookies, along with rose and keith ( who play lisa and jisoo, and eventually lari would end up completing the rkblackpink lineup that we know today with jennie ). looking back, i don’t really know how i envisioned rkrose to be; i mean, she was signed to royal within her first six months of being at rookies! she won the kt & royal contest, if ya didn’t know! she is probably the muse i am most well-known for, likely for not so good reasons. she’s been through countless “scandals” in her time, things of which are likely both of our faults. i’m not ashamed of her though ( more so of my own actions ). i think she’s a good egg.

when rookies gave us permission to go ahead with third muses, i think we all went a little crazy. i’ve had quite a few third muses, some whom i’m sure i can’t really remember, but rkchangkyun and yugyeomrk come to mind; i’m sure some of you might be baffled to know that i’ve ever actually roleplayed a male before, considering the fact that all i talk about on twitter is girls and girl groups. ah i forgot i did actually bring rkclaudia to rookies, aka moon hyuna. but we come full circle, and in march 2018, we meet rkkyungri, who is my third and final muse at rookies ( unless y’know, y’all wanna open up fourth muses to the public rk, because i’m down for that, i have many stories to share still wink wonk ). she was unlike any of my rookies muses; an ex-idol who failed at achieving her dream the first time round.

so, here we are, december 2018; i’ve given you a rather comprehensive and detailed run down on my past with rookies, muses wise that is, because there is a ton more to talk about. and i shall, because i want to be able to commemorate this special occasion! i think it is healthy to reflect on things that have happened in the past, so we can learn from our mistakes and better ourselves as people and writers. i have had my fair share of negative and positive experiences at rookies, and i think it’s normal to. rookies is a really big place, and people are bound to bump heads and not get along, that’s just human nature. i think that a good portion of my problems at rookies have been because of miscommunication. so new members, please take a leaf out of my book and remember that communication is key! also don’t get swept up in ooc drama and take your problems to the mods! that’s what they’re here for ( and they do an excellent job of it, thank you guys <33 ).

i really am invested in rookies; invested in the plot, the characters and their stories. i think it’s so amazing that we have a place on the internet where things can unfold and happen in real time almost. krp can be so fast-paced and it’s refreshing to see a place like rookies. i don’t think i could ever truly leave rookies behind, well, one day i’m probably going to have to, but that is another thing; rk is always there. rookies has reached five years. five! years! and that is a momentous occasion, because some rps don’t even see five months. as someone who has been an admin countless of times in the past, i have always wondered how rookies withstood the test of time, and now, having been apart of rookies for nearly three years, i think i understand now. many things go into making a roleplay work: the admin team and the members must work cohesively together, and i think we at rookies all do a good job of that.

i have learnt a lot at rookies, and i think i definitely have a lot more to learn and experience. i must say, going into the new year, i really want to work on being more productive. some of you amaze me! replying every week, getting those points! you get that, pal! it’s really, really inspiring, and i want to be more like that. i’m honestly amazed i’ve made it two years at rk, as i’m someone who gets bored easily ( i also have commitment issues to some extent ). there have been countless occasions where i’ve wanted to give up and drop my muses, be it lack of motivation or drama, but the sole fact that i’ve dedicated two whole years to creating these characters is an incentive to keep going. i’ve always loved writing and i love that i have a space to share my creativity, interests and dreams with like minded people! i think that rings true for a lot of other people, but i’m sure y’all have your own reasons for sticking around.

i don’t think a post like this would be complete without some shout outs, but this part for me will probably be lacking, whoops. maybe i can make that another goal of mine. socialise more.

steph ( @jungwooxrk ), thank you for introducing me to rookies and convincing me to join. we’ve been friends since december 2014!?! which feels like a long ass time. you were my first real internet friend and i’m very grateful to of met you. thank you for writing with me and putting up with me!

rose ( @rklisa ), keith ( @rkjisoo ) & lari ( @rkjennie ), rkblackpink is precious and means so much to both me and rkrose. although we don’t talk as much as much as i would like ( or we should??? ) i’m so happy that we’ve got y’all, i hope that our girls can experience many more things together.

shinobi ( @rkkangjoon ) thank you so much for putting up with me. we’ve been through a lot of crap but i’m really thankful that we’re still able to talk despite everything. i hope you know that kangjoon will forever be important to rose, he was her first real boyfriend after all! thank you for putting up with us both! we love you! <33

peach ( @rkhaechan ) i don’t think rkrose would be who she is today without you and the help of jaebum. after a year of depression i think she’s back on her feet though!! toughest 12 months as a writer! but, despite everything we’ve been through, i’m so thankful we’re still able to talk. i also love your new muses, haech is a cutie & i love him very much :((((

lemon ( @rkyena ) aaaaaah i can’t believe i forgot to put you in here, i’m so sorry. thank you sO MUCH for putting up with me and my forgetfullness. i really love seoyoung as a muse and i’m excited to see her grow as an idol! also saeseo?!

nana ( @younghyunrk ) i’m so thankful that i get to talk to you almost everyday!? i feel as though these past few months we’ve been able to get close which is exciting because you are awesome & i treasure you a ton! i’m excited for whats to come in the following months for our muses! hopefully we meet when i fly over your way sometime soon! i love youuu!!! <33

royal and sphere trainees! i would tag you all, but i’ll be here forever. thank you for making me feel included, even if i don’t participate in the group chat! i love our group antics, like photocard swapping, that was fun. thank you for taking care of both me and my girls, rose and saerom. i would like to work on getting closer to y’all!

and our incredible mod team, you know who they are, they know who they are. thank you so much, for everything you do. you guys keep this place safe, happy and running for all of us, all while writing for your own muses and keeping up with real life stuff like work and school?! incredible! amazing! fantastic! thank you for being so accepting and welcoming and supportive. i love y’all a ton and i don’t think this little message truly explains how grateful i truly am. thank you, for all that you do.

i’m sorry if i forgot anyone in particular, i probably did and i’m sorry; i don’t have the greatest memory. just know that i’m grateful for you! even if we’ve never spoken to eachother before! thank you for making rookies the place it is! that being said, i should probably work on wrapping this whole thing up, since it’s getting pretty darn long and i would like to do some things today prior to this job interview i have later ( please send positive vibes, i’m going to need them ; _ ; )

these past two, nearly three years have been absolutely wonderful. i’m bummed i didn’t join rk back in the day but maybe the fact that i joined later was a good thing? i mean, everything happens for a reason right? these years have been hard and tiring but also very exciting and rewarding, and i’m very enthused to see where 2019 takes me and my girls, along with you and your muses! lets work hard and be happy, happy rkfifth everyone <3

- lots of love, from sacha!

#♡ ┋ out of character.#rkfifth

22 notes · View notes

headcrossed · 6 years

Text

A/N: no one asked for this, but I can’t stop thinking about it so here goes. Also still taking requests for these guys, if anyone’s interested!

THE RFA PLAYS DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS FOR THE FIRST TIME

SEVEN

We all know he’s the one that suggested it. Call it a team building exercise, if you will. Besides, since they’re going to be having more parties now in the future, they gotta make sure they stay strong as an organization. What better way than this?

Since no one else is experienced with this game, Seven also takes it upon himself to DM.

Even though oddly enough, he’s never really played it either... at least, not officially.

He found a rulebook when he was younger at the library, and it inspired him, but he knew he couldn’t take it home where his mom might find it.

So instead he memorized it, and when Saeran was sick he would make up a story and roleplay with him. No stats, character sheets, or anything. Just two lonely kids getting enraptured in pure imagination for a little while. It’s one of the fondest memories he has from his childhood.

I’mma be honest: Seven’s DM-ing style is basically the same as Griffin McElroy’s in TAZ.

He keeps things pretty well-balanced. Plenty of humor and shenanigans, but the more serious and emotional moments are really moving, and everyone’s surprised by this.

Zen and Yoosung and even Jaehee and V probably shed some tears over the way the story unfolds.

He also does really good voice acting for his characters. Nowhere near on Zen’s level, like you could still kinda tell it’s him doing the voices if you couldn’t see his face, but he gets into character really easy (even Zen thinks he should audition to voice act for a game or something... ;) )

Yoosung

Aside from the obvious previous experience he might have, he probably played some one-shot campaigns with some D&D clubs on campus before.

The first character he makes is probably a literal recreation of his LOLOL character, since it’s familiar to him, and is a good place to start with since he’s not very experienced. Besides, he’s built like a tank in LOLOL, and if he knows anything about these kinds of games, it’s that balance is key, and they need at least someone who can soak up all the damage of whatever Seven throws at them (is he afraid that he’ll make them face bosses way to big for any of them to handle and they’ll all die in the process? GOD YES)

And it turns out that concern was legit. He dies like 5 minutes in.

Scrapping that strategy, he probably will end up making a half-orc , and he ends up really enjoying this character a lot more.

Plays him... surprisingly chivalrous, probably ends up saving a princess at some point in the game.

Seven lets him romance her and... wait... HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOW!!!

The game doesn’t count, my sweet summer child

It’s a little awkward that she’s voiced by Seven,and even though he teases Yoosung about it (both in-game and out), quite often it’s really sweet, actually.

He really, REALLY wishes he could commission someone to do fan art of them, but he has no money T_T

Might ask V if he gets desperate enough... might

Believe it or not, Yoosung will actually ditch playing LOLOL for this.

He likes being able to see all his best friends gathered in one place, laughing and just having a good time. It warms his poor college student heart.

ZEN

He’s not really sure how he was convinced to do this, but somehow he’s very into it

He’s not very good at the numbers part of the game (and he usually has to ask Yoosung or Jaehee to help him with it), but he really shines in the roleplay department (I mean he’s an actor! If nothing else it’s a really good opportunity to work on his improv skills)

Plays an high-elf bard, with a VERY high charisma stat.

“Not very original, huh Zen? Trying to make life imitate art?” “Shut up, mistah trust-fund kid!”

AND HE PLAYS THEM EXACTLY HOW YOU WOULD EXPECT.

Flirts with EVERY ENEMY. To the point that Seven has to make his character have near-death experiences MANY TIMES to get him to stop.

Still, somehow, by the end of the game he has amassed a harem of enemies who worship him for his god-like beauty.

VOICE ACTS FOR HIS CHARACTER AND SINGS ACTUAL BARD SONGS HE’S MEMORIZED BEFORE-HAND (rest in peace, Jaehee)

Oh but he doesn’t stop there.

He COSPLAYS HIS CHARACTER, AND HIS WHOLE FANBASE GOES INSANE

His bard now has a whole fandom and following irl too. He even made a separate social media account where he shares all the amazing fan art that people have drawn for his character. He even thinks that maybe they should start broadcasting their sessions or do a podcast.

JAEHEE

Jaehee is an absolute beast at this game.

She’s read over the rulebook at least 20 times and knows it inside and out.

Probably gets into arguments with Seven and maybe accidentally metagames once or twice.

She should be dm-ing not seven what the hell are they all thinking? She knows the stats better, anyways

She plays a rowdy dwarven paladin, and no one expected it.

Her logic is: it’s a fantasy-world. She can be whatever she wants, and she wants to smash things, be as rowdy as she likes, and be blunt and tell things like it is.

Also she’s semi-intentionally trying to recreate a gimli and legolas style relationship with Zen’s character, go figure ;) it’s actually really sweet at the end of the day though they make a great fucking team.

Has her own special routine for dice-rolls that she believes will increase her odds of getting a better roll.

They all laugh at her for varying degrees for it but FOR SOME REASON IT WORKS AND SHE HAS CRAZY NAT 20 STREAKS SOMETIMES.

She ends up stealing a lot of Jumin’s kills, but she’s just roleplaying, after all. (Seven gives her bonus xp for good roleplaying too like yeah good for her for using this as an outlet)

Frequents D&D forums a lot now. Thinking up new strategies and probably makes like a million new characters based on them that she may never play (but she hopes to, someday)

JUMIN

He’s heard of it before, and that’s no surprise with his extensive interest in small specialty businesses and the fact that the RFA has at least two members who have played it before.

But alas, he has never played it himself.

He agrees because the level of spectacle that he’s seen around playing this game is astounding, and he’s intrigued. Thinks maybe he’ll get a new business idea out of it.

“So Jumin, what race are you going to play as?” Seven asks, innocently, as though he doesn’t know the answer.

“... you’ll see.”

Everyone gets suspicious, but he keeps his poker-face as cool as ever.

When they go around the table introducing their characters, he puts on his most serious face, puts his hands up in front of his face like paws, and introduces himself as his character: Elizabeth the 4th, Tabaxi Ranger

Zen has to leave the room to get over a sneezing fit, Jaehee’s glasses shatter, Seven straight up dies laughing on the floor. None of it matters to Jumin. He’s living the fucking dream.

All that being said, Jumin is definitely tries to take a more methodical approach to the game. He carefully plans out his strategies for the best strategical outcome.

Although

He actually ends up really enjoying it, at the end of the day.

You know he’s looking into premium gear for future sessions. Buys all the rulebooks and lorebooks, buys a bunch of really cool-looking handmade dice (that he personally tests himself for balance, to make sure they all roll true). He probably even commissions someone to make custom mini figurines for their characters.

Like Zen, he’s also not quite sure how he got roped into doing this.

He’s never played, or ever really even HEARD of this game before, let alone understand how it works, but given an opportunity to hang out with the rest of the RFA and relax, he takes it. It sounds like fun to him anyway.

He has to spend a lot of time making his character (this poor boy, he sees everyone else with their faces stuffed in the character stat books and he doesn’t wanna ask if he can borrow it ‘cause they need it to make their characters too and doesn’t want to interrupt them)

When he finally DOES make a character, however. He goes with a Tiefling Druid. Not only do they look aesthetically pleasing and unique, but also he empathizes with how they’re treated by society as a whole. It’s kinda the perfect fit.

He’s super clueless when they first start playing.

Seven says “Roll for initiative” and he sits there like “wait... what do I do? ^^; ”

Jaehee, Jumin and Seven usually help him out and explain things as they go along.

As the game progresses he picks things up bit by bit. Turns out, he’s actually really good at roleplaying.

In the beginning, he plays his character as this cold and distant, not really caring about anyone in the team, but over time that dissolves into unerring loyalty to the rest of the party. Probably created an elaborate backstory involving a long lost love, too.

Everyone gets super attached to V’s character.

But of course, OF COURSE

When they face the final boss of the arc, someone has to sacrifice themselves to defeat it.

V immediately volunteers, and is dealt a killing blow before any of the rest of them can so much as talk it through.

As he dies, he says “My people only know hatred because they have been so hated. But... I’ve never felt that. Not with all of you. Thank you, for showing me that there’s hope for all of us!” and his character dies, with a smile on his face.

DAMNIT V NO

EVERYONE’S FUCKING CRYING NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID

All-in-all though, he had a really great time. 10/10 would play again. Maybe even starts constructing a story-based campaign in his head and wants to try DM-ing next time!

He’s always snapping super aesthetic photos of the sessions, and probably does a painting of all their characters together to commemorate their first campaign.

SAERAN

Saeyoung invited him to play, but he says no.

It’s childish and he has other things he wants to do.

Saeyoung doesn’t pressure him, and honestly he thought that would be the last he’d hear of it.

However, Seven’s house is usually where they end up meeting to play (since no one else really has the room for it, and playing at Jumin’s house is ruled outright due to level of c-hair)

He’s a little annoyed, and thus stays in his room for most of the night, figuring he can wait the session out in his room.

But alas, the one thing he didn’t factor in was wanting some ice cream at 1 am.

After a deep internal debate, he ultimately decides to leave his room to satisfy the craving, and unlocks his door.

He wanders into the kitchen, surprisingly unnoticed, silently grabbing a spoon from the drawer and taking the carton of ice-cream out of the freezer, when he overhears something... familiar.

“BOOM! BOOM! Drums sound in the deep. A mighty roar soon follows, as the chamber rumbles with the sound, pieces of the construction tumbling to the floor of the ancient hall in its wake...”

Seven roars, for effect.

“Oh shit...” Zen says.

“Louder and louder, the sound draws nearer, until the sound stops at the foot of the barricaded door. Large shadows overcome what little faint light shone from beneath the door...”

*pushes up his glasses* “Roll for initiative”

“WHAT?!”, screams Yoosung, “WE JUST FOUGHT A CAVE TROLL! WE HAVEN’T EVEN HAD THE TIME TO RECOVER!”

“Shame...” Seven says, “If only there was one more party member... then you might have a chance...”

Seven then looks over to the doorway, locking eyes with Saeran briefly.

Memories prickle at the back of his head. Memories of those same eyes lighting up as he told the same stories to him. He remembers getting lost in those stories, feeling happy deep down as he figured out what he would do next. He even remembers... smiling?

He runs back into his room, and slams the door.

And that’s the last the RFA sees of him...

Or so they think.

Half an hour later, he comes out of his room, pulls out one of the kitchen chairs, sits down and slams a hastily-printed character sheet.

“Looks like you’re running into some trouble with that Balrog... tch. Amateurs.”

He made a Kenku Monk, chaotic neutral alignment.

And he completely destroys the boss that Seven had planned for them.

DID SOMEONE SAY EDGELORD?

Probably splits from the party a bunch, but Saeyoung planned for that, so there’s usually a bunch of story-heavy side-quests waiting for him anyway, and they all eventually lead him back to the party somehow.

But truth be told, he’s not that mad about it.

Every opportunity he gets to describe exactly the kind of moves he’s exacting on the enemies they face, he takes. He explains it in creative, gory detail, and it shocks some of the other party members, but Seven seems cool with it.

That’s right kiddo, harness all that repressed rage. Let it out.

He’s helping clean the kitchen after everyone’s gone when Seven asks,

“So? You going to play with us next session too?”

He pauses washing the snack dishes for a beat, and the corners of his lips start to twitch, just a little.

“Y-yeah, I-... I actually had a lot of fun.”

His brother pats him on the back, his hand still on his shoulder when he says “I’m glad! That’s what I was hoping to hear.”

“... Wait... you planned this from the beginning, didn’t you?”

The sly smirk on Seven’s face says it all. Bih you know he did

“... you little shit.”

157 notes · View notes

sussex-nature-lover · 4 years

Text

Thursday 5th November 2020

Remember, Remember...

♦ if you click on a bold link it will navigate away from this blog to an outside site. Outside sites are not affiliated to this blog

In my book the most important things to remember on (and around) the 5th November are wildlife, domestic pets and safety first.

Our hedgehog population is in severe decline and they’re well known for crawling into what they think is going to be a safe space for a long nap. Hedgehogs who are the right weight have also probably gone into hibernation with the recent very cold snap. It’s possible something might be hibernating within your bonfire pile if you’ve been stacking for a while ahead of lighting it.

Please, please do check thoroughly.

Fireworks are a very stressful event for animals, bear this in mind always and act responsibly. Advice from last year here.

My mobile phone vintage snap at dusk - the Stand Off

OK, lecture over.

Last night we drove by Ms NW the Elder’s, only the fourth time we’ve seen her this year: we had one nice lunch together back in January and two no touching socially distanced chats. This one was about 20 minutes stood in the street at a safe distance from her doorstep. In the short time we were there we saw a bat fly around several times and the local fox trot across the close. For anyone who doesn’t know, she’s in South East London but in a quiet road where she’s becoming more and more interested in the local bird and wildlife population. On the way we knew we were getting close when we heard Parakeets chattering away. We saw two large skeins of Geese flying as well and actually heard more on the way home. Funnily enough they heard Geese in the dark on Autumnwatch last night too.

On the drive back we got snarled in the ridiculous traffic that got mentions in the national press, so it took around two and a half hours to come less than 50 miles. According to some reports that was getting off lightly.

Culinary Note: we ended up having beans on toast for supper as it was something quick and we were both ravenous. Added a couple of drops of Tabasco to the beans which made them just the right amount of spicy and used pumpkin seed bread. Not quite haute cuisine but very tasty and welcome.

At least there were some pretty fireworks to watch along the route - not huge amounts but some of them were quite spectacular lighting up the skies. As an aside, despite the huge moon, it did seem particularly dark last night. It was crisp and clear too, very cold. I saw Mars shining very clearly when we got home.

When I was little we had a tiny box of Standard fireworks to light at home. A few candle type, some Catherine Wheels, a packet of sparklers (my personal highlight) and a rocket or two. It was usually something of a damp squib to be honest and there were often failures to light - very dangerous. I preferred the baked potato, sausages and beans on a chilly night.

By the time we had our own children things had moved on tremendously and we wouldn’t dream of getting fireworks for home, it was always the community bonfire and big organised display. I used to love those nights. We’d get all dressed up with our woolly hats, gloves and scarves and everyone from school seemed to go. All the neighbours set off for the local field around the same time, so you’d meet up walking along and once arrived there’d be candy floss and toffee apples and so on. There were hot dogs and burgers too I think, but we’d have our traditional supper beforehand, it’d help insulate us against the November night air. The bonfire was huge and stringent safety precautions were in place before the fireworks were let off. At the end there was a gentle procession home again amongst the excited children scuffling through the fallen leaves and sleepy tots in buggies. I’ve just read this out to my OH and he agrees how good it was. It was very well run and always pleasant company. What lovely memories.

“Remember, remember the Fifth of November” or “Please to Remember” are variations of a rhyme that commemorates the day in 1605 when a group of Roman Catholics including Guy Fawkes, were caught in the act of trying to blow up the Houses of Parliament.

When news of the plot got out, Londoners were so relieved that the conspirators had been caught that they lit bonfires throughout the city as a celebration. Over the centuries the celebrations have become more elaborate and now fabulous firework displays are a feature throughout England on the night of November 5th. A week or so prior to that, children make effigies of Guy Fawkes which they take door to door asking for ‘A penny for the Guy’.’ On Bonfire Night these Guys are traditionally burnt on top of a bonfire.

Funnily I’ve never known more than the first two lines of the old nursery rhyme

Remember, remember the Fifth of November, The Gunpowder Treason and Plot, I know of no reason Why the Gunpowder Treason Should ever be forgot. Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, t’was his intent To blow up the King and Parli’ment. Three-score barrels of powder below To prove old England’s overthrow; By God’s providence he was catch’d With a dark lantern and burning match. Holla boys, Holla boys, let the bells ring. Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King! And what should we do with him? Burn him!

Two things link up here for me. Firstly by sheer chance the National Trust property Chastleton, which I’ve only mentioned this week, was purchased from Robert Catesby, the leading figure behind the Gunpowder Plot.

That’s a fascinating read in the link, from a local newspaper. I can’t get my head around the intrigue, the danger and the money involved. It’s also a little bit spooky that the plot was originally intended for action the previous year, but was delayed because The Plague caused Parliament to be closed.

Plague was one of the hazards of life in Britain from its dramatic appearance in 1348 with the Black Death. The Bills of Mortality began to be published regularly in 1603, in which year 33,347 deaths were recorded from plague. Between then and 1665, only four years had no recorded cases.

Secondly, is the matter of organised bonfire celebrations and Bonfire Societies. We’d never come across one until we moved to Sussex, where they are ‘a thing’ around the South East. I don’t know if they’re a thing further afield? Perhaps someone can enlighten me Boom Boom!!! <Pun Claxon> if they are.* see below for details

Back to Bonfire Societies, we’re not all that far from Battle, it’s where our ‘local’ police station is, although you wouldn’t want to walk it! and yes, it is that ‘Battel’ of 1066 and Hastings fame. In fact the local tourist organisation calls the area 1066 Country.

Fun Fact for your Zoom quizzes or how ever you’re going to be amusing yourselves: The Battle of Hastings wasn’t fought at Hastings. It was fought at ... BATTLE. Maybe they thought no one would take it all that seriously if they’d named it the Battle of Battle(Battel)

The Battle of Hastings is curiously named, because it actually took place several miles away from Hastings, in the place now called Battle. An early chronicle simply states that it was a battle fought "at the hoary apple tree", a name which thankfully didn't catch on.

Anyway, if you do want to know the history of the oldest Bonfire Society and the making of effigies and so on, chose these links

Battel Bonfire Boyes

More info about the Guy

I don’t usually get political on social media, certain topics I much prefer to steer clear of, so take this as topical. Very topical. Quite often now public figures (of all kinds, not just political ones) are chosen as the year’s featured ‘Guy’ Boris Johnson has been a famous Guy too.

Just look at the scale of the build

So there we have it, a bit about nature, a wealth of trivia and some reminiscing and all because from today England is in official lockdown again, A month long starter for ten - award yourself some cinder toffee or sticky parkin as a Bonfire Night prize if you know that one. If you do make some cinder toffee try dipping it in melted chocolate for your own homemade version of a Crunchie. Tomorrow, Thank Crunchie it’s Friday. Does anyone else recall that advert on the TV?

As we can’t be sure when we’ll all be free to celebrate again, enjoy this, the London Fireworks welcoming 2020. A new year is always full of hope. We just didn’t have a clue what a memorable year this was going to be did we. If we had, we might have decided to blow it up from the start!

youtube

Got to admit I thought twice about the Boom Boom joke just on the off-chance those words trigger monitoring by security services! Too paranoid? Well, you can’t be too careful, but no, for the record, I’m definitely not plotting to blow up anything. It’s just another childhood memory.

youtube

Plenty of linked reading today then to while away some time in lockdown or wherever you are. Stay safe chaps and fingers crossed for better days.

Poppy for Remembrance (not my photo)

#nature bonfire night bonfire societies recipes love where you live

0 notes