#happy supersoldiers

[pushing500]

Candlelight is making sure Andy learns every important skill he will need to survive in the far reaches of the galaxy.

Irwin is very proud of this masterwork bucket he made. Good job, Irwin, I'm sure that valiant effort could not have been better spent on any other projects.

Every time I see stuff like this, I like to imagine that my colonists can hear everything that's happening on the other side of the wall and just stoically try to ignore it.

His surname may be Cook, but he's engineered as a soldier and has zero cooking ability. I'm sorry, Henry, but you won't be doing any kitchen work anytime soon.

Fortunately, freshly resurrected Wendy is willing to give Henry a cooking lesson, so hopefully, this will make him feel better about not being allowed to use the stove.

Wendy does have two bionic eyes now, but she didn't when I drew this. The 'regrow limb' psycast does not fix blindness or dementia, but I figured it was worth a shot.

Do you think Fafo has been writing letters to Grand-Aunty Rebi or calling her on the Comms Console to chat about life? Maybe Fafo mentioned Barghest in passing, and Grand-Aunty Rebi decided he sounded nice (her proposal was politely rejected because Barghest is asexual, and also, I don't want him to leave).

I don't know any jokes about fighting orcas, so this one will have to do. Ugh. Wookshys is, unfortunately, a very good fiance. It annoys me.

There were four manhunter guinea pigs in this attack, which Irwin and Zonovo dealt with all by themselves. Good job, boys!

First | Next | Previous

#rimworld #gracie plays #The Animist Alliance #art #my art #traditional art #rimworld art #unpolished art #Candlelight seems like a fun teacher #So does Wendy actually #And the kids are so cute!! #I try to draw Henry looking more gruff most of the time #I imagine he is very serious about his future role as genetically-modified supersoldier #But what eight-year-old doesn't like cake? #Drawing Wendy's bionic eyes is going to be tricky #I don't know how far I want to go with the bionic look #I suppose I'll cross that bridge when I get to it #Have a lovely week everyone! Happy October! xoxo

[ronearoundblindly]

A Forced, Fresh Start (3/3)

Steve Rogers x Super Soldier!Reader

Dénouer (see previous or series)

Warnings: a painful/disturbing process that reads like torture but is a chosen treatment, arguments, angst, fear of the future, illusions to past Hydra abuse, and implied smut. This work is entirely 18+, sorry, kiddos. MINORS DNI for this tale! WC 4k

Summary: Autumn is deprogrammed in Wakanda.

Anticipation is part of the problem.

That’s why Bucky left you and Steve in the dark about the deprogramming process. If you knew how the Wakandans would break your conditioning, you might fight it, or rather, fight it more than your mind and body already will. You might trick yourself into thinking you’re healed. You might bury the words deeper because you are trained to protect them, to obey them, to keep them bound to you, to keep you bound to them.

But knowing an attack is coming and knowing what the moves are…those are different beasts.

“Is that really necessary,” Steve blurts while two Dora Milaje follow Ayo’s instruction to strap you down to a similar machine to the Hydra and compound chairs.

The women simply continue from your wrists to your ankles before a thick belt lashes your torso against the seat.

Steve stares at your shaking hands.

“She’s volunteering,” he reminds, heading toward Ayo who waits behind a console reading your vitals.

“Captain Rogers, you are an observer here,” she pointedly reminds, “a guest.”

Steve wouldn’t dare disrespect the warrior, Wakandan or not. This is a favor. They do not have to help you, but they are out of deference to him and your situation.

“Steve,” you call, though it wafts around like a whisper.

He’s by your side again instantly.

“Rosie, I’ll be right here the whole time.”

“Did Buck ever tell you how long this took?”

Steve shakes his head. “I don’t think they went this—“ his gaze rolls over the room “—intensely with his, but we’ll get through it, ok?” He grabs the tips of your fingers around the armrest’s end. “It’ll get easier, and then you’ll be free.”

His smile doesn’t reach his eyes, but you’d be shocked if such a bad liar could manage that kind of naivety.

Ayo barks for him to move. It’s time to start.

Day one only establishes your baseline, which is good because you and Steve only landed in the quintet two hours ago after a long flight.

Ayo reads out your words, and you change. They wake you. Ayo reads all of your words but the tenth, and you signal when the crawling under your skin subsides. You still change when she recites ‘enchaîné.’ They wake you again. Even after a twenty-eight-minute gap, the word still works, so Ayo begins once more, waiting slightly longer from when the crawling stops to finish the sequence.

You don’t change. The Soldier doesn’t wake.

It’s not foolproof, however, and throughout the long afternoon of words and waiting, you have to be jolted back to yourself nearly a dozen times. You’re exhausted and practically immobile by the time Steve gets you both back to your hut, letting Maple in from her run with the goats.

“You need food,” he mutters, almost to himself, as he gathers anything edible to offer you. He says he’ll plan better tomorrow. He’ll have things ready.

For now, it’s clear that you are in no state to go out in search of a meal, and he refuses to leave your side. Steve allows you to eat so little only because he can see fatigue weighing on your shoulders. He fills numerous containers with water, setting them close to you, ready throughout the night, then helps you change for bed.

You don’t say much. You can barely speak.

Steve has to wash your face by hand, scrubbing at the crusting streaks down your cheeks from old (and new) tears.

“Ok, sweetheart, it’s time to rest.”

This is the first night you two will share a room since the incident, and as excited as you are to be near him, your whole being is a frayed, live wire. So far, you’ve had just enough caring touch to not be overwhelmed. He’s not wrong; you should rest before the scale tips you toward panic. 

No chances are taken. The only way Steve feels absolutely comfortable sleeping beside you is for you to wear foam earplugs and for him to wear an actual muzzle over his face. In fact, he wears a recovered mask from Bucky’s restraints when he was the Winter Soldier. It serves its purpose. Steve can’t speak.

Without both safeties, he can’t be sure he won’t activate you again. You both know he will never forgive himself if he repeats that mistake. It’s been hard enough to convince him that having a dream is not his fault. He couldn’t control it any more than you could control your reaction.

You’re here on the other side of the planet to change that, you remind yourself. His masked face and your deprived sense are temporary. The pain of the process is temporary.

The lasting impact on your lives? Unknown.

Tonight, though. Tonight you get to sleep in Steve’s arms again.

Day two.

The least distance between each trigger word is tested.

Avant-guard, Quatre, Larmes, Mer, Vigne, Charmante, Fin, Trente, Négligeable, Enchaîné.

You are kept buzzing on the cusp of activation for sixteen hours and receive another nine jolts to wake you. You are testy, fighting not to lash out at Steve’s incessant babying.

“What can I get you? What do you need? What can I do?”

You have a restless night, fearful of the next session.

Day three.

Avant-guard, Quatre, Larmes, Mer, Vigne, Charmante, Fin, Trente, Négligeable, Enchaîné.

You’re being whittled down to bone by the repetition. Your only reward is the quiet, foggy respite of watching the room through her eyes before you’re woken again and again.

Ayo holds a conversation in front of you with General Okoye that peppers in all of your words, hundreds of extra phrases in between, and it still changes you.

Body fine but mind in tatters, you charge through the entrance of your hut fuming with no outlet.

“What can I get you? What do you need? What can I do?”

You struggle to keep down food. You fight sleep until it swallows you.

Somewhere in those few hours, you had a nightmare, Steve mentions over breakfast, one where you spoke rapid-fire Russian and didn’t respond to his or Maple’s attempts to soothe you. All you know is that 'tired' doesn’t cover the feeling inside you.

Day four.

Avant-guard, Quatre, Larmes, Mer, Vigne, Charmante, Fin, Trente, Négligeable, Enchaîné.

You cry whenever a single one of them is spoken out of context. Ayo says them out of order, but your body seizes and hums with anticipation anyway. Eventually, the hum never stops.

You’re drained and flattened, rolled out and stretched so thin the daylight peeks right through you, and yet, you keep going.

You can’t stomach food at all, already full of bile and rage and pent up annoyance. You are living the nightmares now. You are dependent on ten words. They simply threatened to control your life before; now they enslave you every waking minute of the day.

“What can I get you? What do you need? What can I do?”

Part of you wants to strangle him, but instead, you grip Steve like a vice as the big spoon for entire night, sleeping or awake.

Day five.

You are broken finally but not in a good way.

The treatment calls for the repetition of all but the last word. You stay suspended in the warning buzz of activation, your body fighting in favor of transition solely for a respite. It hurts. You feel sick, but the change can’t happen without the last word. It’s like being dangled over a cliff and left waiting for the frayed rope to snap.

If only you had a knife…but would you cut the cord, cut your restraints, or…?

There’s no room for coherent thought while your brain fights and flies at the same time. Fear collides with the empty euphoria changing brings, if only for a second. Resistance dances with prepared obedience. Every real and fake memory you have replays at once.

All day. All night.

Ayo has different people come in to say the nine words, rotating throughout the hours in shifts because Steve refuses to be part of it.

Avant-guard, Quatre, Larmes, Mer, Vigne, Charmante, Fin, Trente, Négligeable.

Repeat.

Avant-guard, Quatre, Larmes, Mer, Vigne, Charmante, Fin, Trente, Négligeable.

Repeat.

Avant-guard, Quatre, Larmes, Mer, Vigne, Charmante, Fin, Trente, Négligeable.

Steve snaps, but you still argue with him to let it happen. Something has to happen.

It gets to the point you’re begging for them to just say the last word in any language you know. You shout the last word to yourself, but it can’t work on you. In a last ditch effort, you plead with Steve.

It comes out as a hateful growl. “Say the fucking word or go!”

The Soldier should be suffering, not you. You’re trying to kill her. You want her to die. He doesn’t have the instinct to kill. He doesn’t have the balls to torture you to make it better.

With heavy, downturned brows, Steve agrees that he can’t do it and leaves.

He’s only gone for a few minutes to feed himself and Maple. 

Another several hours go by, and Steve is visibly agitated. He advocates for your comfort more and more as the day drags on, escalating from gentle suggestions to fervent requests to belligerent demands. By then he insists—yelling a tirade of everything but curses directly in Ayo’s face—that you be left time to recover. You are half-grateful and half-annoyed by his attitude.

His arguing delays getting on with the bad bits so you can make real progress, and each time he laments how tired you are or how weak the treatment makes you, you believe it, too. If he doesn’t think you can take it, maybe you can’t, maybe you will never be rid of the Soldier, maybe you’ll always be haunted by the horrors of Hydra.

Ayo relents, keeping her sharp gaze on you as Steve unstraps you from the chair and guides you outside.

He’s allowed to walk you through the village square, though why they still describe it as a village is beyond you. Wakanda is an amazing mix of past, present, and future (or at least, it’s futuristic), and their local centers of commerce are no different. Steve was right to think a distraction would help.

The hustle and bustle of normal life washes over you. It grounds you in reality while lifting your soul up with hope.

One day, you’ll have this. You’ll begin again. You’ll be normal. You’ll start fresh. One day, the pain will be worth it. One day, you won’t even remember the anticipation, much less feel it race beneath every square inch of your skin. You won’t be a slave to ten simple words.

That future is hard to fathom while strapped to a chair, even voluntarily, but the man holding you—the man by your side through all this—has faith you can do this. Steve thinks you’re strong, and you believe him.

Stalls with food and fabrics line every alley. Bright colors rain down from every surface and coat every corner.

Smiling faces. Animated faces. Two-sided conversations are everywhere. They listen to each other. They’re all choosing how to spend their day, their lives. They aren’t afraid of the words being spoken. It’s wonderful. It’s downright magical compared to your cooped-up existence in the compound.

And then some children bolt across your path.

It startles you. You gasp, so focused on what else there is to see that you truly did not notice them, enhanced senses and all.

A mother steps forward to scold the kids, and Steve’s grip on you tightens.

He starts pulling you away. You don’t understand why.

“I’m ok. It’s fine. I was just caught off guard.” It’s not as if you broke someone’s nose again, and none of these children can suspend themselves from ceilings like Peter Parker can.

“We should go,” Steve replies through a tight jaw.

You glance back over your shoulder and finally get it.

The woman is pregnant, a mother in every sense, round and proud as she should be, and that’s when it dawns on you.

Steve doesn’t think you’re strong.

He assumes the mere sight of children or an expectant woman will shock you—upset you even—and doesn’t care to ask. He keeps leading you away, faster and faster until you’re shut back into the treatment room.

Heaven forbid you be far from your chair. How dare you watch the average life of a human. You don’t belong there.

“Let go of me,” you shriek, ripping your arm from Steve’s grasp. “I said I’m fine.”

“I thought—” he tries.

“I know what you thought, Steve, but I’m not going to freak out seeing a mother!”

“We’re not there yet in the—“

“They are just kids. Playing kids.”

“—we haven’t tested—“

“I am not a prototype weapon, Steve. I know what people look like versus targets.”

He raises his voice then, eyes fiery. “WE DON’T KNOW THAT,” but Steve immediately cowers to correct himself. “Not until this is finished.”

That’s it, isn’t it? He doesn’t actually know if he can trust you. He doesn’t know what the fragile, broken thing in front of him is, and he’s tired of waiting for you to show him. He’s impatient and exhausted, just like you. He doesn’t want to sleep in a muzzle anymore. He wants his own home back. You’re the one prolonging this.

Except you’re not.

“Then let me finish it,” you bite back. “Quit stopping Ayo every time she pushes me. That’s the point.”

“Rosie, you don’t have to—“

“—I DO HAVE TO. I do have to be pushed and in pain and screaming and crying and whatever it takes.”

“Not like that. You don’t need to torture yourself.”

“She has to DIE,” you burst, feeling a fire in your belly that threatens to consume you. “The Soldier has to die, Steve, and if you can’t watch it, then don’t. You don’t have to be here.”

Dejected, his arms go limp and he looks from you to the Dora Milaje waiting patiently by the chair. He looks about to argue until his eyes find your furious face and twisted features again.

“You’re right,” he admits softly. “I can’t.”

Steve leaves through the same door he rushed you through.

He’s waiting at the hut when you finally return, sitting at the foot of the bed with Maple resting against his lap.

He’s sorry.

Steve tells you to take a break and rest. What happens if you push yourself too far and stretch too thin? You don’t look well. Because you are sick. Because you need treatment and that’s what this is. He’s worried. The whole point is for this to be safe.

Maybe he only likes you because you’re fragile and dainty, but you can’t stand to be those things anymore. You don’t want to be weak. This isn’t going to work if he hopes you’ll be the same person without her in your head.

“Do you even want me to get better?”

“Of course,” Steve shifts back, offended.

A bitter taste floods your mouth. “Then stop sabotaging me.”

“You wanted me here,” he bites like a wounded puppy.

A darkness unrelated to the day’s pain follows, something deeper and disturbed. “Then maybe that was her, and she wants you. You want her. You fucked her.”

“You don’t mean that, Rosie. You know that’s not true.”

“Neither of us knows who I am without her, so if you won’t let me go through this to get rid of her, maybe she is who you want.”

“I love you,” he blurts simply, heavily.

“That’s just it. You don’t know me, Steve. Stop trying to control me like they did.”

You couldn’t hurt him more, not even with all the blades and points of your garden tools, yet you relish someone hurting other than you. There’s been so much pain forced on you. It feels good to share though it shouldn’t.

“So I just go,” he muses, leaving you unable to tell whether that was a statement or a question.

“You should be able to make your own choices…as should I.”

“Well, if my being here isn’t helpful…”

While he hesitates, you choose for him. His protection only shelters the Soldier. He should go.

You have to embrace the change coming and let go of all the rest. Right now, that includes Steve Rogers, no matter what that means for the two of you in the long run.

It hurts to hold steady to your choice, but what great burden is that drop of pain in this ocean of misery?

Your beautiful dog comes to your side, giving you strength.

“Maple stays.”

Week six.

Each moment has been a test of your free will. The tears and struggle don’t make you doubt your decision, but they stop you from reaching out.

Does he hate you? Will he be there when you return? Are you welcome in your home? Do you have a home anymore?

Being alone, picking your path forward, knowing you can do anything and go anywhere…you can’t remember the last time you felt this, or if you ever have.

“Avant-guard. Quatre. Larmes. Mer. Vigne. Charmante. Fin. Trente. Négligeable. Enchaîné.”

Spoken back-to-back—no breaks, no hesitation, all the way to the end—and nothing happens.

The emptiness is blissful. You are not banished to a corner of your own mind. The air in your lungs is yours to breathe. Your trembling hands are yours to hold.

You’ve been on the cusp of this moment for the last eight days. It’s here.

Ayo’s announcement that you are free pierces through the ecstatic rush of blood past your ears.

Today is Day One in the life of Autumn Rose Barnes, and you are alone. Free and alone.

There’s no pomp or ceremony. You take the next transport to the States, packing what little is left in your hut and ordering Maple to your side. She hates the flight, but that gives you an excuse to cling to her thick fur for the hours-long trip. You desperately try not to form expectations for seeing Steve.

All you have to show for your behavior is you, only you, and it’s bittersweet.

Are you enough?

You feel so horrible for making him go—though his absence was necessary—and apprehension swirls around your empty stomach.

It’s all a mess. You thought all this was messy because of Hydra, but it’s just…life.

You used to know that. Faintly. Somewhere, way back when, you knew, but you’ve punished yourself for being the cause anyway.

Life is just messy.

Maple thrashes during landing, ready to escape, and you can’t blame her. You feel the same.

It’s time. You’re here.

Bag over your shoulder, knuckles blanched in your death grip on the strap, you step off the ramp with your eyes glued to your feet, and instantly, boots pop into view.

Blue jeans, a black sweater, and a bright smile greet you.

“Hi, I’m Steve Rogers,” he says, sticking out a large hand for you to shake.

It takes you by surprise. He’s joining you, meeting you exactly where you are, and starting over.

You put your hand in his, riled almost to tears at the warmth and comfort of that simple contact.

“Well, that’s funny,” you begin softly. “That’s her last name.”

You tick your head to Maple who steps up on Steve’s shoe to look straight into his adoring gaze. As an afterthought, you add your name.

“What a coincidence—“ he plays along “—that’s my best friend’s last name.” Steve lets your hand slide from his. “Must be fate.”

“Must be,” you whisper back.

He’s not so sold on the act when he squats to pet Maple. She happily licks his hand and face, accepting any and all rubs and butt pats, whining when he addresses her as ‘Maymay’ (as only Steve does).

She barks excitedly when Steve rises, reaching out again.

“May I take your bag, Rosie? Um, if it’s okay to call you that…”

You look down again to hide a quivering lip and hand over the duffel. “I’d like that.”

Bucky is outside the landing pad, beaming with open arms and a cheeky line. “He’s insufferable when you’re not here. Never leave again!” 

You jump to hug him, not caring to continue any game of formality.

You rumple Bucky’s hair while Steve grumbles, “jerk.”

Bucky hugs you, too, pinning you tight to his broad chest. “Punk,” he replies directly into your shoulder then mutters an additional, “I’m proud of you. Welcome back.”

Steve politely walks you to the door of your old private apartment, the one you moved out of once you two got together, the one you returned to after the incident two months ago. It feels as cold and lonely as the holding cells downstairs.

You stare at the threshold, blank, nervous, and resigned. You did prepare for this, but the reality is unbearable.

“Something wrong?”

You listen for a hopeful tone, an invitation in his words, but Steve schools his voice well.

“No, I…I…” You turn to face him, wide eyes exposing every raw bit of your soul. “I’d like to come home.”

“You are home,” he offers slowly, waiting. He’s done assuming. Steve is going to make you say it.

“That room is not my home.” You keep staring, your brain screaming so loudly you think perhaps he can hear.

He is still your home. If he’ll have you, he is the only home that matters.

While you chicken out of saying that, Maple saunters down the hall straight to Steve’s door, pawing at the entry when her parents don’t follow.

“Right,” Steve sighs with a soft smile, “can’t keep my girls waiting. You’re both probably tired.”

You kick yourself, watching ever-patient Steve walk you into his space like you have earned your place here again. He deserves to know, but the words are stuck in your throat, sharp and too impactful for their confines.

You try to open your mouth. You try to push forward.

Steve beats you to the punch.

His door shuts behind you, bag dropped on the floor, Maple off like a shot to her cozy spot on the couch, and suddenly Steve crowds you against the wall.

“Don’t ever make me go again,” he growls low, intense without aggression. “I need you. I want you. This is where I belong, Rosie, please.”

His warm hands find your waist.

Your eyes dart from his to his lips. Heat creeps up your body, a hum, a buzz, anticipation.

This time it’s welcome; it’s exquisite and crumbling the walls around you.

The tension of his movement forward soothes you, pressing your head back, loosening your tongue.

“You are my ho—“

Steve’s lips crash into yours, heavy and insistent.

It’s a blur of limbs and moans all the way to the bed. You’re on a mission, both of you, a mission to prove you are equals in your devotion. You straddle him in the same bed, in the same position as that night, but Steve is wide awake and excited. Now, you are you and ready.

He doesn’t rush or take a backseat. He savors your touch and attention. Even when you pause, there’s a rush of unsaid praise between you. Needy kisses cover hushed apologies. Passionate, intimate connection blooms in the melding of your bodies.

You and Steve, home, yourselves, safe, and happy for the first time ever, a beginning to a whole new life. Both beautiful and built from great strife, you and Steve have helped each other in unexpected ways. You are both better for it. You are both better for each other when you let go of the pasts you think define you.

You can exist in your home, with no muzzle, no earplugs, and completely free. You promise yourself you'll eat and feed him right after some much-needed rest.

Comparatively short and sweet...in the end at least. I know that a lot of times we think of Steve as perfect, and of course, I am guilty of writing him that way at times because it is comforting. For this though, I wanted to highlight how being protective and being supportive are not always the same thing. Steve is so protective of Reader that you can't grow or heal without space, and that is naturally going to be incredibly difficult for Steve Rogers.

I hope you enjoyed this tale, and as always, comments, likes, and reblogs are much appreciated. Happy New Year, everyone!

[Series Masterlist; Main Masterlist]

#autumn is healing #cap and autumn #steve rogers angst #steve rogers x reader #supersoldier!reader #steve rogers fic #steve x reader #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fanfic #captain america x reader #captain america fanfiction #captain america angst #steve rogers smut #captain america x you #captain america smut #steve rogers x reader smut #fluff and feels #fanfic #angst with a happy ending #angst and romance #angst and hurt/comfort #hurt/comfort #steve rogers hurt/comfort

[jiyoos]

THANK YOU FOR THE GOOD LUCK I GOT MY AL-IKLIL MOUNT

#i haven't done bozja since i made the post and i went in today #AND HERE IT IS... I GOT MY DABOG PT 2 NOTE #i only had to do supersoldier rising 3 times today lol :D #IM SO HAPPY DONT TOUCH ME OR MY MOTORCYCLE LOL #games; ffxiv #games #jtext #insp; auralia #insp

[zincbot]

barry syx is fucking hilarious but he keeps making me sad

#he woke up out of bed thinking it was barry ice cream night with all the other clones but realized its noy #and instead of letting himself get sad he just immediately switched tracks to be pumped for sid instead #(psychoanalyzes him from 1.5 episodes) #i think that barry doesn't do a lot of introspection or thinking #he's basically got two well-worn modes and that's happiness and rage. #barbarian moments but like. augh. aughaughauhh. #something so upsetting to me about a character that goes through terrible things but lacks the introspection to conceptualize that #y'know that they've Gone Through terrible things #like he lives in the moment and that's great. but it doesn't give him any time to reflect on his feelings or the past or what he lost #also he's got this innocence. the barry clones weren't created to think. they were supposed to be big dumb supersoldiers. #but they were so happy #there was this camraderie in that they all loved life and the world and what they were made to do #i GOTTA know what made barry nyne different and why he did what he did #i'm sure we'll find out #but oh my god barry

[literaryavenger]

Can I be him?

Summary: When Bucky finds something of yours, he hopes against hope that you feel the same way about him.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Fem!Reader

Warnings: Language cause it's me. Fluff. A lot of angst. Idiots in love. Self-deprecating thoughts, both reader and Bucky. No use of Y/N. My poor attempts at being funny.

Word Count: 4.8K

A/N: It’s 3am where I live, so… Happy 107th Birthday to my favorite Supersoldier! Today I’m posting 2 Bucky fics because my baby deserves it, this one and another one sometime around the afternoon. Hope someone likes it! Thank you to my angels @ordelixx and @mrsbuckybarnes1917 that gave me so many ideas that helped me finish this. I love you🖤

Masterlist

Being an Avenger is not easy.

The long missions, the intense training, the weight of the world on your shoulders…

Everybody on the team has a different way to unwind after a mission: Steve draws, Clint and Natasha compete doing target practice, Thor sleeps, Sam plays video games, Bucky takes motorcycle rides, Tony and Bruce work on side projects in their lab, Loki reads, Peter does his homework and Wanda cooks with Vision.

For you, it’s going to the rose garden behind the Compound.

It’s a bit of a sanctuary for you, Tony allowed you to put tall hedges of roses with a gazebo-like structure in the middle of them facing the lake, only it’s entirely made of vines.

You made it yourself, that’s your power: you can manipulate anything plant-related. 

Everytime you finish a mission the team splits up as soon as the debriefing is over and you walk straight here.

You sit on the bench, also made of vines, take out your diary and start writing.

You write about everything, from details of missions to your feelings about the team. From things you did that you don’t want to forget to things that you want to do after you’re not so tired anymore.

The hedges hide you from view and the only thing you can see when you’re here is the lake.

Sometimes, after a particular difficult mission, you don’t even write. You just sit there and look out into the water, the sunshine or moonlight shining down on you, and you feel at peace.

It helps that nobody else ever comes here. The team understands it’s your safe space, and the agents are mostly scared of your powers ever since you grew a giant carnivorous plant and it bit an agent that squeezed your ass during training. 

The agent got both taken to the medbay and suspended on the same day, and you got the thanks of about a dozen girls that had the same problem with the same asshole.

You walk out of the conference room, the debriefing of the team’s latest mission just wrapped up, and like usual everyone scatters to their own after-mission ritual.

Today, though, you can’t concentrate on anything.

Your feet take you to the rose garden by reflex, but your brain doesn’t even register you’re there until you sit on the bench.

Today’s mission took a lot out of you, not just because of the amount of magic you had to use to get everyone out safely, but also because it was your fault the team was in so much danger in the first place.

You fucked up your task, Natasha had to step in and save your ass, moving away from her post and making her late for her own task and that derailed the entire mission.

At the end, you had to use your powers to take out the hundreds of Hydra agents at the same time, which is no small feat and made you almost pass out.

Everybody told you on the way home not to worry, the mission was successfully accomplished and everyone made it out safely, but you know that if it wasn’t for your screw up the team would’ve gotten in and out of base without so much as a scratch. 

Nobody had fatal injuries, thank God, but Sam got shot in the leg, Clint got stabbed and everyone else had various degrees of injuries because Hydra got the jump on the team.

Because of me.

That was all you kept thinking about. Your brain had a field day making up all kinds of scenarios where your mistake cost someone’s life, a few of them even had the entire team dying because of your stupidity. 

You were so caught up in your head that you didn’t even notice someone following you to the rose garden.

Not that you ever do. 

If there’s one thing Bucky Barnes knows how to do, is move around undetected. He’s a master assassin, he was trained for this for over 50 years, he knows how to be a shadow.

Except now he uses his skills for good during missions and, occasionally, to follow you.

Not in a creepy way, of course, just to check on you. At least that’s the excuse he always uses so he won’t have to admit to himself that what he does is, indeed, a little creepy.

But he can’t help himself, Bucky knew from the moment he saw you that he was fucked. 

The moment you walked into the room to meet the team his heart was yours. You stole it with one simple smile, with one look of your beautiful eyes.

You introduced yourself and shook hands with everyone, but when you looked at Bucky he felt like a light came on and it was just you two.

You shook his hand and he felt like he had to take it off and give it to you, it was yours now. His hand, his arm, his leg, his head, his heart, his soul. Everything he is was now yours, he just knew it.

Then you said his name and he could’ve died right there and then. It was the sweetest sound he’d ever heard, and it was barely two syllables. Every word you said, every laugh and sound that came out of your pretty mouth, Bucky felt like it was all for him. Nobody else mattered.

Bucky knew then he was in love.

But he didn’t know how to approach you. You were like a fairy, like a princess. Growing flowers, always smiling, baking, growing everyone’s favorite flowers and always willing to help, like growing Aloe when Wanda burned herself cooking, or Chamomile to help with Tony’s anxiety, or Valerian roots whenever someone was feeling down. 

You were like sunshine and he was terrified he’d kill your light. But he’d be damned if he’d let the world kill it either, he’d protect you with his life.

So he took to following you, making sure you were safe from a distance.

But it’s not like he never talked to you, the more time you spent with the team the more comfortable Bucky got around you and eventually you became friends.

Bucky knew you could take care of yourself, you were one of the strongest members of the team, but he didn’t like it when you were in your rose garden by yourself. The tall hedges made it impossible to see incoming danger, so he kept an eye on you just to be sure.

For his own piece of mind. And you never saw him.

That was Bucky’s actual way to unwind after a mission.

He’d tell everybody he was going for a ride on his bike, but he’d drive it through the woods around the compound and to the other side of the lake where he’d have a perfect view of you without you knowing. 

Deep down he knew it was a little creepy, he could just ask you if he could join you, but he felt like you needed your time alone without anyone else around, and he knew if he asked you, you’d say yes no matter what you were feeling, because that’s just the kind of person you are.

So Bucky watched you from afar, always careful not to be seen. He watched you write for hours, it relaxed him to see your beautiful face so concentrated.

Sometimes you’d laugh quietly at what you were writing and those were the only times Bucky was grateful for the supersoldier serum that allowed him to hear such a beautiful sound even with so much distance between you.

But it was torture for him when he knew you had a bad day. Sometimes you’d hug your knees and cry, Bucky could tell how much you’d need a hug, and it killed him that he couldn’t just walk up to you and hug you.

Everytime he sees you cry his heart breaks a little and he always tries to make you feel better when you walk back inside. He doesn’t ask you what’s wrong, he just tries to make you laugh. But all he wanted to do was dry your tears.

You did notice Bucky always seemed to act a little goofy when you're feeling down, like he somehow knew, but you never thought much of it.

You knew he was a very observant person, so you assumed he just saw your mood through your behavior better than most.

Bucky loves hanging out with you, even if it’s just as friends. You make fun of him like with everyone else, you don’t treat him like could explode at any moment, never walking on eggshells around him like most people do.

You’ve never been afraid of him, and he’s glad that you don’t treat him like glass. You treat him like everyone else, and it makes him feel normal.

Everytime time he hangs out with you, you take him back to a time where he was unbroken. You make him feel alive again.

And he falls more in love with you by the second because of it. You’re all he wants, he wants to have you and kiss your lips and never let anyone hurt you. That’s all he can think about, but he knows that’s not gonna happen.

He heard you talk to Natasha and Wanda, heard that there’s someone you’d gone on a few dates with. But Bucky knows that guy doesn’t deserve you, nobody does.

Even Bucky himself doesn’t deserve you, you’re too pure for anyone in this world, but if there’s someone that has any chance of making you happy, Bucky prays to God that that someone is him.

Bucky knows today’s mission shook you deeply. He knows you blame yourself, and no amount of reassurance will make you believe that everything is okay.

So today, for the first time, Bucky actually follows you. He can see your unfocused eyes even as you walk and he wants to be near you, just in case.

He almost walks to you when you curl up on the bench and start sobbing quietly, but he holds back not wanting to startle or upset you further.

He just listens to your soft cries until you stop and compose yourself. You sigh and get up, walking back to the Compound to take a much needed relaxing shower.

But you’re still so much in your own head that you don’t even notice you left your diary on the bench in the gazebo. 

Bucky did notice, though.

He’s tempted to call after you and tell you, but something deep down tells him not to. He waits until you’re gone and then walks to the bench, picking up your diary and opening it.

He doesn’t know why, he knows it’s wrong, these are your private thoughts, but he’s just drawn to it for some reason.

When he starts reading he notices you don’t mention any specific names, which makes sense because only you read it, you know who you’re writing about. He reads a page here and there, reading about your missions or lazy days. 

He reads about some memories with the team you wrote about, some he remembers and others he probably wasn’t there for, but seeing all these memories from your point of view does something to him.

It makes him feel connected to you, makes him feel like he’s reading your heart and soul, because he kind of is. Then he reads something that captures his attention completely. 

You write about eyes blue like the ocean and just as troubled, about a smile that could light up the world. You write about someone with a complicated past that never lost his spark, never lost his love for life. 

A man that went through hell, and never once took it out on the world. A man that didn’t ever blame the world, even when he had every right to, choosing instead to protect it. 

You filled pages and pages with everything you admire about this man, everything you love about him that you know he hates. 

And Bucky feels like every word you wrote, you wrote for him. But could this be him? Could he be the one you talk about in all your stories?

He wants to. He wants this to be him. He prays you’re talking about him. He wishes this could be him… Who is he kidding?

Of course it’s not me. 

It’s probably the guy you’ve been dating. Yeah, that’s it. You’re in love with that guy, that much is clear. 

Bucky gets to the page where you write about your dates with the guy, but he can’t read them.

He closes the diary, not knowing that you compared your date to Bucky every step of the way. Not knowing that you granted the guy a second date just to be sure he couldn’t compare to Bucky, and went on a third date at a coffee shop just to let him down gently.

Bucky didn’t read how you know he’s the one for you, he didn’t read his own name written in your handwriting, the only name in your whole diary because he’s the only person you never want to forget, even though you know you never will.

But Bucky didn’t read that.

He puts your diary back where it was on the bench and, with his heart broken and his hope that one day you could be his lost, he goes back inside and to his room.

It’s only when you go back to the rose garden after your shower that you notice you left your diary there, but don’t think much of it. Nobody ever comes here anyway, as far as you know.

After finding out you’re in love with someone else, Bucky can’t stop himself from acting differently towards you, which you don’t fail to notice.

It’s not like he’s mean, but your interactions get shorter, like he tries his best to end the conversation quickly.

He no longer sits close to you, no longer tries to make you laugh when you’re feeling down, doesn’t hang out with you as much during your down time and if he does, it’s never just the two of you anymore.

It’s silly to say, but you miss him.

Bucky knows he’s been distancing himself, he knows you’ve noticed and he can see it’s affecting you, but he’s doing this to protect himself.

He knows it’s only a matter of time before you present your boyfriend to the team, the man you’re in love with and he doesn’t want it to hurt more than necessary.

You decide not to push Bucky, knowing he has his reasons to pull away from you. Maybe he’s just trying to deal with all the stress the team’s been under and you don’t want to add any more to that, so you let him be.

A few weeks later the team’s on their sixth mission in just as many days and everyone is exhausted. You’ve been taking down Hydra base after Hydra base, because waiting too long meant losing your chance to shut down their operations for good before they got the opportunity to leave.

You’ve been dividing in smaller teams to take down the bases while still giving the team a chance to recuperate, but this last one was the biggest and required the whole team together, which sucked for you because you were in the last team with Steve and Bucky that took down a base just yesterday, so the three of you got barely a few hours of sleep while you flew to the last base.

You’ve cleared the base, all that’s left is the agents in the courtyard who are really going down fighting. The whole team is outside now, the Hydra agents giving you a hell of a fight. You’re using your magic against your better judgment, giant vines coming out of your arms like whips, covered in poisonous thorns. One touch of that and anyone would go down immediately, everyone except you.

Or at least that’s what you think.

As you’re fighting you can see an agent trying to sneak up on Bucky who’s fighting near you, so you quickly take care of it for him.

Bucky turns around and sees the agent down and then looks at you with that charming smile you fell in love with and winks at you. “Thank you, doll.”

That’s the friendliest Bucky’s been towards you in weeks and you can’t help but smile back with a small blush.

You can see the last agent standing coming at you from your peripheral vision and you quickly whip him with a vine, taking him down as soon as you can so you can turn back to look at Bucky, still smiling at you.

Bucky’s smile drops quickly, though, as he sees your face draining of any color. You barely have the time to register the sting of your own thorn on your arm that you’re already falling to the ground.

Bucky tries to catch you, but he gets thrown back by your magic that goes into defense mode, creating a wall of thorns to protect your now unconscious body.

The team doesn't know what to do, none of them know enough about plants to be sure that these thorns wouldn’t just kill them all.

The only one that would know that is you, the person that’s passed out, or worse, trapped in the midst of a cocoon of thorns.

“Okay, we need to find a safe way to-” Steve starts but cuts himself off almost immediately. “What are you doing?!”

Bucky doesn’t even turn around to answer, too intent on breaking the thorns around you with his metal arm, not caring that the thorns are ripping his clothes and scratching his face, all he can think about is getting to you.

He finally manages to get through to you, but nobody can follow because your magic regrows the thorns Bucky broke, trapping him with you inside the cocoon.

But Bucky doesn’t care, his eyes never leaving your face as he kneels behind you, running a finger softly along your cheek and shivering when he feels your skin is cold as ice.

His mind goes to the worst possibility, that there’s nothing he can do, but his brain gives him some hope reasoning that your magic wouldn’t be working if you were dead.

Right?

He snaps out of his thoughts when he feels the thorns around you vibrate, he takes you in his arms and shields you with his body from whatever is about to happen.

But the only thing that happens is the shade cast by the thorns gets replaced by sunlight. Bucky looks up and realizes Wanda used her magic to lift the thorn cocoon.

“You couldn’t have done that before?!” Bucky barks at Wanda with a glare while carefully picking you up to take you to the Quinjet.

“She’s not the dumbass that threw himself headfirst in a mess of thorns without even considering another course of action!” Natasha came in Wanda’s defense, though she seemed more amused at Bucky’s antics than annoyed.

As the team heads back home in the jet, Bruce examines you and lets the team know you’re still alive but in a sort of coma.

Their relief is cut short when Bruce makes it known that he has no idea when, or if, you’ll wake up.

As soon as the Quinjet lands you’re taken to the medbay and hooked up to machines, an IV in your arm to keep you hydrated.

Bucky holds your hand through it all, staying all night next to you just in case you wake up. He didn’t want you to be freaked out and alone, he wanted to be the first person to see your beautiful eyes open.

When morning comes, though, you’re still unconscious, but Bucky doesn’t lose hope. You probably need a good sleep.

That’s what he tells himself for two, three, four days.

That’s what he keeps telling himself for a week, two weeks. Never once leaving your side, not eating unless Steve brings him food and makes sure he eats before leaving, and using the bathroom of your room in the medbay.

He barely sleeps and, when he does, he dreams of you.

Everyone was getting worried about him, he refused to leave your side until one day Steve came into your room to tell Bucky there was something wrong with your rose garden.

Bucky was torn between staying with you and seeing what Steve was talking about, but decided that it would kill you if something happened to your roses so he had to make sure everything was okay when you woke up.

Because you’re going to wake up.

Bucky follows Steve to your rose garden, and his eyes widen in horror as soon as he sees it. The roses, the hedges, the vines.

Everything is dying.

Bucky’s heart breaks, only one thought in his mind. If your plants are dying, does that mean you’re slowly dying too?

No. That’s unacceptable. You’re not gonna die, not if Bucky has anything to do with it.

He takes it upon himself to take care of your garden, watering it and doing everything he can to keep the roses and vines alive, fooling himself into believing that this will keep you alive.

He stays on the gazebo day and night, sleeping on the bench, spending every waking moment trying to keep a hold of even the smallest part of you.

But it’s not enough. Nothing is enough.

Bucky loses track of how many days he’s been in your garden, sleeping maybe an hour at a time here and there, watering the roses every few hours and crying the rest of the time.

After all it’s his fault, if he hadn’t distracted you none of this would’ve happened. You’d be in your beautiful garden, probably with your boyfriend, and the only broken thing would be Bucky’s heart.

That he could’ve lived with. 

But how can he live with the knowledge that he caused your end? That he killed your light? That he killed his sunshine, his hope, the love of his life? He can’t live with that.

Not that he has to.

While Bucky’s spiraling while surrounded by dying roses, inside your room in the medbay you’re finally waking up after almost a month.

You open your eyes slowly, looking around you at the hospital-like room. There’s nobody around and, as you look at the window, you can see it’s really late at night.

You sit up and try to make sense of what happened while rubbing your eyes. The last thing you remember is Bucky’s bright smile, and then nothing.

You look down at your arm and see an IV, which you take out while frowning. How long have you been sleeping?

You carefully get off the bed and make your way outside to your rose garden, just to be sure everything’s okay. It’s not like anyone’s gonna stop you anyway.

When you get close, the moonlight shines on the hedges and you gasp at what you see. Your beautiful roses withering away, the gazebo made of vines dying too.

But the most confusing thing is the sobs coming from the bench, although no one’s sitting on it.

You get closer and see Bucky sitting in front of the bench while hugging his knees and crying softly. You frown and get a little closer before stopping, not wanting to startle him.

“Bucky…” You say quietly and his head snaps up, his eyes instantly meeting yours.

For a moment it feels like he’s trying to decide if you’re real, he reaches out and you extend your hand to take his. That seems to convince him and he gasps.

“Doll…” His voice is barely above a whisper, almost as if he thinks if he makes too much noise you’ll disappear.

“What’s wrong?” You ask him while getting a little closer to him, concern clear in your every feature.

It’s only when you get closer that you see his face full of cuts and you frown. Those are not just any scratches, it’s clear to you that they were made by thorns. “D-did… Did I do this to you?” 

You’re kneeling in front of him now, one hand still in his one the other comes up to trace the cuts in his face softly, but he takes your hand in his and kisses your palm.

“I’m okay…” He reassures you.

Just then he realizes, you’re fussing over him when you’re the one that’s been in a coma for a month. “Are you okay? How long have you been awake?” 

“I… I just woke up.” You tell him honestly, then look around at the dying roses and vines before looking back at him. “What happened to me?”

“You got stung by one of your poisonous thorns.” He says quietly, his thumbs rubbing circles on your skin while he refuses to let go of you. “You’ve been unconscious for almost a month.”

“A month?!” You’re shocked at the news, not knowing what to say or do, so you just stay there while letting the information sink in. The silence is broken by Bucky after a minute.

“I’m sorry about your roses… I tried to keep them alive, but…” He looks around with a hopeless expression. “I failed you.”

Your heart breaks a little. Does he really think he failed you?

You take a deep breath, then close your eyes and when you open them again a second later everything’s back to normal. The roses are as beautiful as ever, the gazebo just as majestic. It’s like nothing ever happened.

Bucky looks around in awe when he feels you take his chin and you make him look at you.

“You could never fail me.” You say firmly, wanting him to understand you mean it. You look at the cuts around his face and you can’t help the guilt and pain that you feel deep within you. “I’m sorry…”

“It wasn’t your fault.” It’s like Bucky can read your thoughts, he knows all you can see are your faults, and he wants you to know he doesn’t blame you for anything. “You weren’t even conscious. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I never wanted to be one of the people that hurt you…” Your voice is a whisper as a tear escapes you. “The world hurt you so much already… I never wanted to be part of that. You don’t deserve it.”

Bucky frowns. He feels like he’s heard those words, but where? No, he didn’t hear them. He read them. He read them in your diary, where you wrote about the man you’re in love with. Could it be possible?

Could I be him?

“It’s me…” He says lower than a whisper, his eyes locked on yours, and it’s your time to be confused now.

“What?” You ask him with a frown while wiping your cheeks.

“It’s me you’re in love with.” His voice is a little louder, but firm. He’s not asking you, he’s making a statement.

Your eyes widen in surprise, you almost take your hands away from his but his hold prevents you from doing that.

“I-I… What?” Is all you can bring yourself to say, confused as to why he’s so sure of it. Are you really that transparent?

“I read your diary…” Bucky says, guilt written all over his face, but at least he’s owning up to it. “You wrote about the man you love… and you wrote the same thing you just told me. It’s me, isn’t it? You love me back?” His voice is more hopeful now, his confident demeanor weavering.

“You… You read my diary?” You say, your mind still playing catch up.

It’s only a moment later that you register the ‘love me back’ and you don’t give him a chance to apologize or justify himself before you’re speaking again. “You love me?!” 

Bucky hesitates a moment but nods firmly. “I love you, doll. I’ve loved you since the moment I met you.” 

You feel like someone punched you and all the air has left your body. You have no idea what to say, so you don’t say anything.

Instead you lean in and kiss him.

Bucky wastes no time kissing you back, but a thought pops into his mind and he reluctantly pulls back. “What about your boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend?” You frown again, having no idea what he’s talking about. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“You don’t?” Bucky feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders and he pulls you to straddle him. “What about the guy you went on a few dates with?”

You narrow your eyes at him but decide to table the conversation about how he knows that for another time, so you smile at him and decide to just be honest with him.

“Do you honestly think that anyone could ever measure up to you? Because if you do, you’re an idiot.” Bucky grins and kisses you again. 

Maybe he is an idiot. But when he’s the idiot you’re in love with, how much of an idiot can he really be?

It looks like he can be him after all.

#bucky barnes #avengers x reader #bucky barnes x you #sam wilson #steve rogers #clint barton #tony stark #peter parker #natasha romanoff #avengers x platonic!reader #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes oneshot #marvel fanfiction #thor odinson #loki laufeyson #bruce banner #wanda maximoff

[multiverse-sparkles]

Your kiss is burning to my skin — S. Rogers and B. Barnes.

summary: steve and bucky break up with you to focus on their relationship. at first, you took the breakup hard. then you took it worse.

pairings: steve x reader x bucky, stucky x reader.

warnings: angst, language, mentions of violence, poly.

chapter one

“it has nothing to do with you, doll.” bucky reiterates, tone mellowing into a small hesitant whisper as he sees you flinch at the endearment. “i mean you were wonderful and so lovely; always understanding us, being the pillar for support and providing us, always with positive reinforcements.” steve squeezes his hand as his form of support, as if willing bucky to take strenght from him to continue his words as he stutters.

the tender moment was not missed by your gaze that were intent on the supersoldiers who sat at the sofa infront of you. the parallels already evident; steve and bucky, leaning to eachother for comfort, sitting in one sofa. the only distance in the room were with you and them; sat in the lone one seater, listening with bated breath to their reasons on why they were breaking your heart.

you could guess several other scenarios happening when you returned from the three week mission requiring radio silence; a breakup was not one of them.

you were happy. the last time you saw either of them, you three went on a romantic date followed by a passionate night spent in eachother's loving arms. the next day was a tearful exchange of goodbye's and unwillingness to part; bucky had almost begged to be included, knowing what the mission entailed. steve inteded to be more diplomatic and barter with tony who refused to budge on his stance.

so with a heavy heart, you departed to cold and frigid terrorist base along with natasha and sam, throwing yourself into your duties in order to come home soonest. even with the support and extensive planning aswell as research, it still took a considerable amount of time.

but not enough for a drastic change of heart— or so you thought.

the steely and determined gaze to steve, the way bucky could look at you in the eyes despite shifting in his seat; they were fucking serious. and intent on expressing their disatisfaction with your current arrangement. one that was implicitly expressed as you trek to your floor, and sat you down after an almost hostile welcome.

“this hurts us more than you.” bucky exhales, looking at steve.

“i doubt it.” the first words you spoke amid all these crazy tirade sounded weak, from disuse and the emotions welling up in your throat. “but please, by all means, don't let me interrupt. why now?”

“we have been talking and spending time with eachother.. unconsciously, we thought about... how we missed it when it was just us.”

you flinch. again. in the field you were almost fearless, and not even a flying knife can make you swerve— you'd catch the weapon whizing to the air with precise movements. turns out, words indeed cut deeper.

but all the more of the implication that it had been them first; and the way it sounded, you were an unwelcomed participant into the special connection they shared.

“but this is not to say we don't value you.” steve intones. “we do. you have to know that. you're special in your own way, but bucky and i have something deeper than just flesh.”

you bite your tongue to refrain from lashing out. as a coping mechanism, you entertain the anger for his fucking audacity. letting the rage simmer under the blank farce you currently wear.

“we just hope, we can focus on eachother more.” steve elaborates, tensing the slightest at your emotionless response. to be frank, both men were ready for a fight, for you to scream and be hysterical. but you were surprisingly calm and collected. which made both uneasy.

“we just want to fall inlove again, without worrying about, others.” he refers you as others now. “could be permanent, could be a thought in passing.” bucky says. “the only thing we're certain about is a break.” he evasively looks away.

“i guess what bucky and i are trying to say is that, we want more from eachother, and there are certain deeper connections that we can't sustain in a three-way relationship.” steve informs you.

“i respect that.” you run your clammy hands on your tactical gear, they couldn't wait until you were dressed and atleast fed before shoving flowery words on your throat. “but if you're breaking up with me, say it bluntly; tell me honestly, tell it in words i understand- you were a good lay but it's actually eachother we love.” you enunciate the word slowly, “and don't delude me with kind words, when i know you're going to dangle the very statements you spewed over my head, most likely in days when you're fucked up or too lonely for eachother. i will not be tripped into your bed ever again.”

you despised the words as soon as they left your mouth; the statements only providing to fuel your deepest insecurity. and it was unfair to both of them, you knew it was.

steve and bucky looked visibly wretched by your words, yet you ignore it, telling yourself to get used to not caring about either of them.

“doll”

“darling”

“don't fucking call me that.” you hiss, both men still in their seat. “we're done.” gathering whatever was left of your dignity, you trudge to the doors and out of their lives.

the door closed behind you, your own apartment looking stale as opposed to the home you have built with steve and bucky; you barely stayed here anyways, but kept it for storage reasons. it still had stark's touch, feeling more like a hotel penthouse, appearing cold and detatched.

you slide down against the door weakly, losing the false bravado infront of your ex lovers. as if a child, you hug your knees to your chest, sobbing into it unbashedly.

three years all down the drain. and they talked about it as if it were a skin deep connection, downplaying every single moment; in tenderness, in affection, in tears and the joy.

you didn't lie down with them in their bed as an extension, as a woman that can be tossed in passing.

you didn't hold them gently in your arms, and provided the warmth the world has chosen to keep from them just to be a stranger.

you didn't whisper words of comfort in their ears, in the middle of the night when the nightmares became too much to handle, just to be someone shallow and unimportant in their lives.

most importantly, you didn't love them to be hurt like this.

the pain cuts deep in your heart, like a throbbing wound, one you feel physically; one that leaves you gasping for breath, a hand held above your heart, feeling as if you could die. your chest tight, your throat welling up, you struggle to remain above ground, eyes darting around the room to keep in the moment- fuck, you were having a panic attack.

you despised when that happens. hated the sheer fact that you would allow yourself to be vulnerable when there were things that needed to be done; people that need saving, reports to be made, meetings to attend. you led a remotely chaotic life and the only thing that truly anchored you in here, to the now, turned their backs to you.

they no longer want you.

you swallowed heavily, arms instinctively hugging yourself, eyes squinting in an an attempt at concentration; color, you looked at your surroundings, dizzily naming the grey of your couch, the ivory white lamp, the silver and gold of the chandelier. your forehead was beaded with perspiration, breath coming out in shorts despite your attempts at distracting yourself.

“agent y/n, your blood pressure is fluctuating; your heart rate is abnormal which can cause the brain and other ogans to become oxygen deprived. i concluded a physical scan and deduced your emotional distress," FRIDAY “i'm at liberty to ask if i should call captain rogers and sergeant barnes, as they are—”

“no!” you managed to shout between strangled breaths, patting your chest methodolically hoping whatever it was, seemingly dislodged into your airways be cleared.

“agent y/n, in accordance to the tower's protoccol, i am hardwired to inform your immediate contacts of your current state of distress.” her posh voice inserts. and despite yourself, you groan.

“i'm peachy, fri.” you lean your head back to the door, closing your eyes and focusing on your breathing. slowly, you were able to calm down enough, “it's probably the best time to change those emergency contacts, aswell. while you're at it, remove the captain and sergeant's access to this floor; both physically and even in information.”

“ofcourse, agent y/n. please state your official badge number and code.” when you answer her, FRIDAY appears to repeat your command before doing what was asked.

“i also elected the sensible decision of reinstating agent romanov as your primary emergency contact. that being said, ms. romanov is on the way to your floor.” FRIDAY disappears before you can scold her, which made you truly contemplate wether she was conscious and, in all actuality sensitive to human emotions.

perhaps, she does have an inkling of human relationships and intense emotions, but that was no longer your concern; considering you have a black widow shaped problem coming your way. and natasha romanov was nothing, if not immensely stubborn and perpetually perceptive. you were several times screwed over.

however, as she appeared in your doorway, the waterworks resumed ten times over, and you were sobbing pathetically in the red head's arms, lamenting your broken heart.

you couldn't remember for how long you've stayed immobile in your room, but it had been several days; perhaps a week or two that you cried your heart out, barely consuming meals unless for sustenance. that in itself seemed like a chore for your aching muscle, your tired and weary bones protesting with every single movements.

this morning though... this morning, it was sunny and bright. you'd opened the curtains with much effort, peering into the bustling city; the skyline providing you with displaced warmth. a few years ago, you'd only ever dreamt about being in new york; and you've lived it. becoming an avenger was also a dream you've worked hard in achieving, and here you are, fighting alongside the heroic and brave on normal tuesdays.

should you allow yourself to wither away in a dark room, heart terribly battered and bruised when the world was set for conquering? well, perhaps it would be insensitive to use the c word; cringing to yourself upon the remembrance of several otherplanetary creatures wreaking havoc on your home planet, like it were a free for all.

you enjoyed the warmth of the sun on your skin for a few moments, allowing yourself to finally, breathe. you bask in the first time upon weeks that you thought positively for a change; so wreaked from questioning every single thing wrong about you.

for the first time in many days, you took the longest shower in history, setting the temperature just a touch scalding. you cleaned your room, changed the sheets, and donned yourself in a decent jeans and a t-shirt combo. grabbing your purse, and stuffing your phone, wallet and keys along with you, you departed from your room.

on the way to the garage, you texted both wanda and natasha; who have been at your side with the outmost vigor, crying and cursing both the supersoldiers as you wept from your broken heart.

you: mall and galiani's at the grove? :)

wands: yes!! meet you there <3

natty: otw in my sensible shoes.

you smiled softly, thankful for your friends. it may have spread like wildfire among your colleagues in the tower, and the magic six may have taken sides and pointed fingers; but amongst all the drama, you were glad that you had people to count on.

it may take a while for you to feel like yourself again... but you were willing to make it work.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x fem!reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky barnes #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x female reader #steve rogers x fem!reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers #stucky x reader #stucky x y/n #stucky x you #stucky

[sparguscityangel]

dont look at me im making an outline for the KG!Jak au

#BRAINWASHED SUPERSOLDIERS ARE WHAT I DO BET #esp if hes starved for affection and willing to do anything to make the baron happy to stop rhe pain? hehehhehehehehehe #personal

[sweetbbarnes]

GODDESS

postTFATWS!BuckyBarnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: You’re still trying to figure out how a healthy relationship works. Bucky is more than happy to show you.

Warnings: mentions of a past toxic relationship, reader is insecure, feelings (because it’s me), Bucky being the sweetest man possible (yes, he’s a warning), established healthy relationship, a tiny bit of possessive!Bucky (in a healthy way), SMUT, exhibitionism, fingering, talks about birth control, unprotected sex, cum kink (sort of), possessive sex (you have to squint), praise, p in v, let me know if I forgot something.

A/N: I was daydreaming about this yesterday and I just had to write, if you like it please let me know. Also I changed my username ‘cause I didn’t like the old one that much.

I DO NOT CONSENT TO HAVE MY STORIES TRANSLATED, COPIED OR POSTED TO ANY OTHER SITE/APP/ACCOUNT. DO NOT STEAL MY WORK.

You clutch your jacket tightly, your knuckles turning white as you secure the denim fabric around you — a nervous habit you've developed over time. You had intended to change before Bucky arrived, but he showed up earlier than expected, leaving you no time, so you just took the first jacked you saw and covered yourself. Insecurities flood your mind as you open the door for him. He gives you a tight hug that communicates how much he missed you, but instead of embracing him back, you just clutch your jacket harder. A shield, of sorts.

"Are you okay, sweetheart? Are you cold?" Bucky asks, concern etched on his face as he gently rubs your hips with his leather covered thumbs.

"I'm not sure about this dress," you admit, avoiding his gaze.

"Why? Don't you like how you look? Let me see it," he suggests, releasing his grip on you, giving you space to remove your jacket.

Taking a deep breath and closing your eyes, you summon the courage to reveal yourself. It’s a pretty dress, used to be one of your favorites, actually, but you retired it after it caused your ex to almost hit you for “wearing something so revealing”. Today, as you were searching for an outfit and found it hidden at the bottom of your wardrobe, you couldn’t help but choose it, as you felt an overwhelming sense of freedom after trying it on. Now, though, you’re not so sure anymore.

You feel the cold air touching your bare arms and brace yourself for the harsh words, echoes of your past relationship lingering inside your brain. But Bucky remains silent, intensifying your anxiety. It has only been a few months since you started dating the supersoldier, and while you've seen no signs of violence from him, you're still guarded, prepared if the moment comes. Bucky is a gentleman, but so was your ex at the beginning.

"I can change if you want," you quickly offer, seeking to appease any potential displeasure.

"Why would I want you to change?" Something in his voice prompts you to open your eyes. Rather than the disappointment you were expecting, there’s some kind of amazement and even lust as he looks at you up and down. Not a single trace of anger.

The gentleness of his question gives you enough courage to ask, “don’t you think I look like a slut?”

Bucky's eyes shoot up to meet yours, a little shocked, but upon noticing the fear in them his face softens with understanding, and he steps closer, enfolding you in his arms. “Darlin’, you look like a fucking Goddess.” He gently kisses your forehead. “Absolutely stunning.”

Bucky knows about your past relationship and the emotional scars it left behind. When he met you, you were a mess. He thought that an ex-assassin would be the last person you’d choose to date after everything, but apparently he did something right, and the moment you accepted him in your life he vowed to himself he’d do anything to show you what a genuine, nurturing love feels like.

"Are you sure? You're not... mad? I mean, that other men will look at me.” you ask hesitantly.

"Why would I be mad?" Bucky responds, his voice filled with sincerity. Despite the heartbreak upon seeing you so scared, he manages a tiny smirk. "They can look; only I get to touch."

You remain uncertain. Your previous boyfriend, when he was in a good mood, had also claimed not to care when you dressed like this — until another guy so much as glanced your way.

Sensing your hesitation, Bucky leads you to your bedroom, positioning you in front of the mirror and standing behind you. As you gaze at your reflection, he notices the sparkle in your eyes and the joy that emanates from within. You like how you look in the dress, and that realization instantly makes it Bucky's favorite.

His leather-clad hands gently trail along your arms, leaving goosebumps in their wake. "Do you feel beautiful?" he asks, admiring your form as much as you do.

You answer, blushing and avoiding his eyes, "Yes."

"And do you feel comfortable?" he inquires further.

You hesitate, your thoughts momentarily scattered. Then, you consider his words and the scenario he paints.

"I... Well..." you trail off, contemplating the tiny sparkle of confidence starting to bloom inside your chest.

"Forget about me for a moment. Imagine you're single, going out with your girlfriends. Do you feel comfortable then?" Bucky prompts.

You ponder his question, allowing yourself to envision the scenario. After a brief moment, you respond, "Yes, I do.”

Bucky raises his hand, cupping your cheek and tilting your head until your eyes meet in the mirror. A proud smile graces his lips.

"Then that's the outfit you're wearing tonight," he declares, his voice filled with certainty and adoration.

You smile timidly at him, not really sure how to deal with this… respect, coming from a boyfriend. His hand starts to travel down through your stomach.

“When the other dudes look at you, and they will…” Bucky lowers his mouth to the shell of your ear and whispers, “I’ll make sure to show them that you’re mine, alright?”

His words cut straight to your core, and you involuntarily press your ass against him, feeling his already hard length. You gasp. He whispers your name.

“Keep doing this and we’re not gonna leave this bedroom tonight.” He murmurs with a deep tone.

“Would it be so bad?” You fake pout, grinding against him again, on purpose this time.

“Well, I really want to show you off in that outfit, so…” He says, but can’t help himself from lowering his hands to the hem of your dress, leaving goosebumps along the way.

“Bucky…” You sigh when he starts giving lingering kisses along the curve of your neck and the bottom of your earlobe.

“But I suppose we have some time before our lateness becomes socially unacceptable, right?” He whispers, sneaking two fingers under the fabric, millimeters away from where you need his touch the most.

“How much?” You ask, watching as Bucky frees his flesh hand from the glove to let you know what’s about to happen.

“Enough,” he says, dragging one finger along your clothed cunt, and moaning at your drenched panties. “Already, baby?”

You only hum in response. He uses his other hand to pull down your panties and lightly tap on your hip, signaling you to step off of them. You obey. Returning his fingers to where they were before, he drags them along your lips, collecting your wetness, and starts the slow circles on your clit. Mustering that confidence Bucky just unburied from a locked place inside your brain, you cover his hand with yours and guide him to your entrance.

“No teasing,” you plead.

Bucky chuckles. “What a greedy woman you are.”

He circles your entrance for a few moments before slowly inserting two digits all the way up, your wet walls making it easy for him. You moan, relieved, and rest the back of your head on his shoulder.

“That enough to make you roll your eyes, darlin’?”

You try rolling your hips, but Bucky quickly encircles your waist with his metal arm, firming his grip so you remain still.

“Please, Bucky…”

“Oh, baby, you know I can’t resist when you beg,” he kisses and bites your shoulder, then curls his fingers inside of you, his knuckles rubbing on that delicious spot inside your hole as he presses his clothed cock against your ass again, “and look at this dress, see what you do to me?”

You feel a twitch in your stomach when Bucky starts stimulating your clit with his thumb, along with the in-and-out movement of his fingers.

“Open those beautiful eyes for me, would ya’?” He asks softly. “See how pretty you get when you beg like that.”

You silently thank the universe that he’s firmly holding you, because his words make your knees almost give in. Panting, you comply with his request, fixing your gaze in the spot where he’s fingering you under your dress. Just like everything else about you, he notices the direction of your eyes.

“You wanna see it, baby? Wanna watch while I fuck you with my fingers?” He asks carefully, amusement lacing his deep voice.

You whimper, imagining the sight, and nod frantically.

“Go ahead, dirty girl.” He encourages.

Satisfied with the permission, you lift one of your legs and place your foot at the bottom of your bed, granting you two full access to the view. You both watch Bucky’s motions in awe, the wetness that covers his fingers reflecting the dim light of the room, silent except for the squishy noises his fingers make as he fucks them into your pussy. The sight almost makes Bucky drop down to his knees to worship you like the Goddess he honestly thinks you are. Actually,  if he didn’t know you’re only standing because of his arm around you, he’d probably do just that.

“Like what you see?” He whispers in your year.

You moan in approval, trying to move your hips, but Bucky’s grip is strong, and he smirks.

“Magic word?”

“Faster.” You demand suddenly.

That’s not quite the word Bucky was expecting, but he’s too stunned by your behavior to care. You two had sex before — as soon as you gave him indication that you wanted it, because how could he resist you? —, but it was always so… loving. I mean, Bucky really wants to show you how tender real love can be, but he’s absolutely relishing this newfound confident side of yours. Never had he imagined you could be so filthy, and he really wants to beat the shit out of your ex for making you think that you have to hide it. Also, as he had already imagined it would, your slight dominance leaves him at your mercy, and he moans as he pleases you, fastening his movements.

That familiar knot starts to build up in your belly, and you try hard not to roll your eyes, not wanting to miss a single moment of the view.

“Bucky…” you call, finding it harder and harder to breathe. “I’m gonna come.”

“Do it, baby. Let go for me.” He whispers next to your ear, satisfied to feel your tight walls clenching his fingers. “You’re such a good girl. So fucking beautiful in this dress.”

With the fog of pleasure taking over your brain as the words hit your ears, you moan loudly and let the overwhelming feeling consume you. Bucky can’t quite keep himself from grinding against your ass as you drench his fingers with your sweet nectar, whimpering while he fingers you all the way through your orgasm. He watches, grunting in pleasure, as you fight your eyelids from closing, until you can’t control yourself anymore, going limp into his arms and rolling your eyes with relief.

Coming down from the high, you look at him through the mirror, smiling sheepishly as you watch him raise the two fingers he just used to make you come and suck them hungrily, licking until there’s no trace of your orgasm anymore. Finding it hard to decide if he should compose himself and drag both your horny asses to the bar or toss you in bed and keep your legs spread open for him to eat out as he pleases until the morning lights, an idea pops into his head.

“You’re on birth control, right?” He asks. He never fucked you bare before, so he never had to ask, but, well… There's a first time for everything, right?

“I am, why?” You ask, still a little dizzy.

He smirks, then gets you by the waist and tosses you in bed unceremoniously, making you gasp in surprise and then giggle.

“Bucky, we have to go.” You remind him, but give no indication that you’ll get up.

You watch as your boyfriend determinedly undresses himself, unashamedly staring at his built up body. The muscles from his abdomen tightens as he bends down to get rid of his jeans, and you lick your lips seeing his long length being freed, already hard with need.

“Sam’s got time. He can wait.” He answers, using his knees to spread your thighs apart as he positions himself right where he belongs: between them.

You make a motion to undress yourself, but when Bucky realizes what you’re doing, he stops you.

“Keep the dress.” He says, and you lay back.

You feel the coldness of Bucky’s dog tags touch the skin of your chest as he towers over you, using his metal hand to support himself and the flesh one to cup your cheek and caress it with his thumb. His expression turns into a soft one.

“When those guys out there look at you dressed like this…” he teases your over sensitive entrance with his tip, the sensation almost too overwhelming. Almost. “They’ll desire you, baby, and they’ll have no clue that you’re walking around with my cum dripping from this pretty pussy.”

With one swift motion, he enters you, unable to contain the pornographic moan that leaves his lips. You gasp in surprise, both from the lack of a condom and from the fact that Bucky never filled you up so abruptly like this. You’re not complaining, though, as you feel his bare skin stretching your soft walls.

“You like that, baby?” He asks when you raise your hands to his short hair and pull it. “Everyone will see you in this beautiful dress and they won’t even imagine that I just fucked the shit out of you in it.”

Bucky slowly – so slowly – takes his cock out of your hole, leaving just the tip, and sharply enters you again, earning an almost scream from your lips.

“Want them to know…” you manage to say hoarsely “Want them to know I’m yours.”

Your words hit Bucky in an instinctive place of his brain, awakening all those raw feelings of protection and possessiveness inside his subconscious, and he almost finishes then and there. He thrusts into you vigorously once again before answering.

“Oh, they will,” if you had the mind to pay attention, you'd notice his voice just got impossibly lower, “we’ll show them, alright? You and me.”

Bucky loses the ability to make coherent sentences as he feels your walls clenching around him, a sign that you’re already getting close again. Without hesitation, he fastens his movements, losing himself in the feeling of your soft interior.

His thrusts are harsh, but still caring in a way, since you know he’s not doing it to hurt you, but to please you. He kisses you passionately, holding your face and licking the inside of your mouth, because if he's being honest with himself, if you keep almost screaming his name like you were, he might as well not last as long as he needs to make you come again.

You wrap your legs around his waist, the new angle making you feel him even deeper inside your cunt, and he almost loses it when he feels you dragging your heels along his lower back.

With one hand, you scratch his back hard enough to feel his warm blood staining your fingers, growing desperate with the tight knot that’s once again forming inside you. Bucky kisses and bites and licks your neck, not giving a damn about the pain — enjoying it, even. Your other hand goes straight to your clit and you start treating yourself with just the right amount of pressure and speed. The action, of course, doesn’t go unnoticed by Bucky, and he grunts in approval.

The headboard slams into the wall as Bucky feels his movements start to become a little sloppy. “Gonna come.” He says, panting “Gonna come inside you, baby. Gonna make you all mine.”

A jolt of electricity travels down your spine, getting you closer and closer to the edge, and you buckle your hips up in excitement.

“Let go, Bucky.” You command, making him roll his eyes. “Fill me up, make me yours.”

“Need you to come first, darlin’. Need to feel you co- Ah” Bucky’s request is interrupted by the loud moan you let out when you finally snap, no longer able to control your second orgasm of the day. He follows you not a long time after, as you can feel his hot seed painting your walls white, and he drops his forehead to your shoulder.

You don’t even have a chance to catch your breath when you feel his thick fingers once again entering your overstimulated pussy. You whimper, holding his wrist.

“Just a little bit, sweetheart,” he coos, “gotta make sure it stays inside.”

You whimper again, but let him do his thing, hearing the squishy noises his fingers make as they shove every drop of his seed all the way up before it slips away. Then he proceeds to get up, put on his clothes and retrieve your panties from the floor.

“Can you lift your legs for me, doll?” He asks, and you obey. “That’s my good girl.”

Bucky slides the piece of lingerie up your legs, until they’re back to their place — securing his cum inside of you — and helps you get up, holding your hips until he’s sure you can still walk.

Just as you were going to comment on the plans you two have, you hear Bucky’s phone ringing from his pocket.

“Hi, Sam.” He answers, staring at you. “We’re on our way. We had a little bit of a… situation.” A playful smirk adorns his lips as he says that. “No, I didn’t make her up, Sam. She’s real, we’re just a little late.”

You chuckle. When Bucky invited you to meet his friend — Bucky calls him a colleague, but you can see by the look on his eyes that he cares about him like a dear friend — Sam Wilson (yes, the Captain America), he warned you Sam would probably question if you’re real, since he can’t believe the “bionic staring machine” could be so charming as to find a girl for himself.

Said staring machine hangs up the phone and gives you a peck on the lips.

“Ready?”

He guides you to the door after you secure him you can walk by yourself, opening it for you like the gentleman he is. However, before you can get out, he stops you.

You look at him questioningly.

“Everyone will know that you’re mine,” he reassures, “and if you behave…” he lowers his head until you can feel his warm breath against the skin of your ear, “when we get back, I’ll make sure to worship you like the fucking Goddess you are.”

masterlist

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes smut #bucky smut #bucky barnes fluff #bucky fluff #bucky fic #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky x reader smut #marvel x reader #mcu fanfiction #marvel fanfic

[mrsbuckybarnes1917]

Request from @imagine-all-the-fandoms: You have a crush on each other but of course don't talk about it. Then one night you enter the living room all dressed up for a date and buck is totally flashed by you, until you ask for his opinion on it. When he realizes this is for another guy he gets all moody and leaves. Then instead of your date, you head to Bucky's room and decide to finally make a move and kiss him and admit your feelings, which leads to sleeping with him and afterwards lots of cuddles and cute Bucky?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female!reader

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: 18+ angsty feelings, some fluff at the end, reader's relationship with an OC, smut, p in v sex without barrier protection, jealous and possessive behavior from Bucky, very minor injury

Bucky Barnes was your best friend. Maybe you might not be his. But how exactly does one compete with Steve Rogers? 

Anyway, that was how you felt. Bucky didn't open up to many people, and you felt honored to be included amongst his few trusted individuals. It had been a year ago that you became part of the Avengers initiative. It hadn't taken you long to be accepted as part of the team, become everyone's favorite confidante, in fact.

There was something about you that people trusted, they would open up to you in a way that they didn't to anyone else. Your charms had even managed to weave their magic over one grumpy super soldier. And he was by far your favorite follower.

It had taken a few weeks before he had given in to your spell, finally admitting his love of pancakes to you during one of your midnight snack quests. It was the first piece of personal information he had shared with you and you always remembered it. In fact you'd joined him for a midnight pancake treat on many occasions since that day.

The way you smiled at him lit up his world. Bucky was drawn to it like a moth to a flame. He wasn’t the only one. Objectively, people wouldn’t have described you as the most beautiful person or the hottest, but there was something about you that shone, the expressiveness of your eyes, the kindness in your heart and the unknown bounds of your acceptance of others that drew people to you. Your personality was all anyone saw once they spoke to you and it was stunning.

There were times though, when it all became too much for you, listening to people's problems got a little overwhelming. It was these times that you sought out the company of people you trusted, the people who really saw you for who you were, a slightly nerdy introvert. The list was small; it included Natasha Romanoff, Steve Rogers and your favorite, James Barnes.

There was something about the solitary supersoldier that intrigued you. He didn't spill his problems to you like others did, you'd had to work very hard at gaining his trust but once you had, you felt like you'd discovered a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Bucky had an unexpected depth and his interests were surprisingly in tune with yours. Steve always seemed to be lost in documentaries when you sat down for down time with him and Nat found joy from horror movies which were far from your taste in cinematography. But Bucky was happy to watch a fantasy or science fiction film with you any time, dawn or dusk.

Bucky enjoyed your interests, but it was your company he enjoyed more. You made him feel comfortable, you didn't ask him intrusive questions, you forgave his selective mutism if he was having a bad day, making no irritating attempts to make him feel happier or better as the other members of the team were so apt to do. No, you let him be himself, in fact, you almost seemed to like his sullen silences.

What he liked the most was that you seemed to be a different person when he was around. You seemed more relaxed, the radiant sunshine demeanor that you exuded became muted, as though you knew that he needed a dimmer switch to help him cope. His scowls were far less ferocious when you were around but woe befell anyone who interrupted or invaded his time with you, his face would become dark and his mood would often turn sour. The only person who he would gracefully accept as an outsider to your pair was Steve. In short, Bucky Barnes was in love with you. Not that he would ever let it show.

The only person who could see Bucky’s feelings for you was Steve. He would smile in a knowing way when he walked in on the two of you laughing together, sharing a plate of nachos. He knew from the way you curled up at Bucky’s side that you harbored similar feelings. The only difference for you is that you had convinced yourself that Bucky couldn’t possibly feel the same way. Friendship was one thing, but you couldn’t imagine that he would want anything more than that. One day, when you had seen a female agent flirting with Bucky and he had smiled back, turned on the 1940’s charm that he apparently was famous for, that was the day you’d decided to put your feelings aside and move on with your life.

It was that decision that led to your current situation. A new dress and fancy heels later, you trotted to the common living area to get your bestie’s opinion. Your makeup was perfect, highlighting your prominent features and Bucky thought you looked radiant as you paraded your dress in front of him, seeking his approval. Naturally, you had it, you always had his approval, it didn’t matter what you were wearing.

“Where are you going all dolled up like that?” Bucky looked you up and down, admiring the view.

“Sidney and I are going out.”

“Oh, that sounds fun. You’ve been hanging out with her a lot. It’s nice that you’re getting along with the other agents too,” he smiled. Bucky was always encouraging of you, even if he would have preferred to keep you all to himself.

You laughed. Bucky usually reveled in the sound, but today he would be wishing he hadn’t heard it at all.

“Bucky!” you swatted his arm playfully. “Sidney is a guy. The guy I’m dating. I’ve told you about this.”

“Yeah, Buck, I did.” You pouted, “were you just pretending to listen?”

“What? No you didn’t.”

“Of course not, you said you were going to minigolf. You were so happy because you won.” Bucky smiled slightly at the memory. How you’d come home with red cheeks from the cold and the joy of winning at minigolf.

“That was our fourth date.”

Bucky was quiet for a moment. “Are you dating a woman?” he asked quietly.

“No, Buck. I mean I have, but Sidney isn’t one.”

“Oh,” Bucky mumbled, processing the information you'd given him.

Your sexual history didn't bother him, it was your present that did. Suddenly Bucky didn't want to look at you. Knowing you'd be spending your time with another man looking the way you did. He hated the thought. He wanted you to dress up for him that way, he wanted to be the one who ripped that pretty little dress off your body, he wanted to be the one who got to kiss you, to touch you, to claim every single part of you. But instead he got to watch another man sweep you off your feet. 

“Well I better finish getting ready.”

You gasped as Bucky stood up suddenly.

“You're unbelievable,” he muttered, a darkness descending across his handsome features.

“What's that supposed to mean?” you asked, angrily.

“Nothing. Go have fun on your date.” Bucky stormed out without a backward glance.

He left you in the living room feeling lost and alone. Tears sprung into your eyes and your enthusiasm for your night out fizzled out completely. You couldn't understand his behavior, the sergeant had always treated you so well. Had you done something to upset him?

The sadness you felt was suddenly overcome with anger. Whatever it was that had upset him, you didn't deserve the attitude he was displaying towards you. In fact, you were going to tell him just that. But first, you picked your phone to make a call.

“Hey Sidney? … Yeah about that. I'm sorry Sidney. I know you went to a lot of trouble organizing tonight. I was really looking forward to it. But something’s come up here. I can't get out of it.”

You sighed, hanging up the phone. Sidney had been understanding, waving off your apology with such grace. On paper, he was the perfect partner for you, he was handsome, he shared so many of your interests and he accepted you for who you were. But you didn't feel butterflies when you thought of him, your face didn't light up when you spoke about him, he didn't fill you with warmth the way Bucky did.

Outrage still bubbled under the surface as you put your phone back on the dressing table in your room, so you decided to address the person who had caused the issue. You marched down the corridor, your stiletto heels clacking angrily as you made your way to Bucky’s room. As you pounded on the door, it flew open just in time for you to fling your hands up protectively as an object hit the wall beside your head.

Bucky’s eyes went wide as he saw the shock on your face. He had been pacing up and down his room and caught sight of a photo of the two of you smiling at each other. He couldn’t bear to see it anymore, to look at you when you didn’t look back at him that way. He had grabbed the photograph, letting it fly away from him in an attempt to extinguish the anguish he felt.

“Wow, do you hate me that much?” you asked. Your anger evaporated as quickly as it had arrived.

Bucky stood, speechless, as you bent down and picked up the smashed photo frame.

“Be careful,” Bucky warned you, as your shoe crushed a piece of broken glass.

“I know how to take care of myself.”

“And going out with some random man who knows nothing about you is what? … safe?”

“Why do you even care, Bucky?”

“You're my friend, you think I want you to get hurt?”

“What makes you think that I need that from you? I mean, if this is what you think of our friendship.” You held up the broken picture frame as a reference to your comment. A single tear slipped down your cheek.

Bucky had the decency to look ashamed of himself, at least that is how you interpreted the look on his face. What you didn't see was the guilt that bubbled under the surface, the devastation at the thought of losing you to someone else.

“He isn't good enough for you.”

You scoffed. “You don't even know him.”

“I don't need to.”

He approached you slowly and stopped right in front of you. If you hadn't spent months getting to know him, you'd be afraid of him, the way his vibranium fist clenched and unclenched repeatedly. But you knew it was a nervous tic of his, not a threatening one.

Bucky bent down and started picking up the shards of glass, then with a low voice, he mumbled something. 

“You deserve to be with someone who knows how special you are.”

Had you heard him correctly? 

You crouched down to help him with the cleaning.

“Leave that, I'll do it.”

“Bucky…” You picked up a small piece of glass between your fingers. “What do you mean?”

“You'll hurt yourself.” He took the glass from you.

You wrapped your hand around his wrist. “Bucky,” you whispered.

But Bucky couldn't look at you, that voice inside his brain that blamed himself for the actions of the Winter Soldier was the same one that often told him that he wasn't good enough for you. How could anyone as bright as you care for someone who held such darkness inside of him? He stood up, hiding his expression from you. 

You sighed, reaching down to pick up one last piece. But you were hurt and careless and the sharp edge sliced your finger, drawing blood, making you hiss with pain.

“I told you to leave it alone!” He grabbed your wrist this time, trying to examine your wound. “This is exactly why I told you not to touch it. It won't hurt me.”

“I don't understand why you're upset.”

“This isn't deep.” He let go of your arm, walking away from you. 

“What do you want from me, Bucky?”

“I don't want you to date him.”

You were surprised but you didn’t let it show on your face. “Okay.”

“Okay? Just like that?” Bucky frowned in confusion.

“Yeah.”

“No explanation needed?”

“I want you to be happy. And if this upsets you, I won't date Sidney.” You sighed, you hated that he had this power over you, that you were willing to give up a chance for your own happiness because Bucky said so. But you knew you would do anything for him, even if you ended up being single for the rest of your life. And it was all very overrated anyway, happy relationships, you didn’t know anyone who didn’t have problems with the people they had attached themselves to. Who needed a family, it was all nothing but trouble, you said to yourself.

“I don't want to lose you,” Bucky muttered.

“Bucky, you'll never lose me.” It felt like you were telling him you loved him without using the actual words. Rising up onto your toes, you pressed a soft kiss on his cheek. “I care about you, Bucky.”

Bucky brought his hand to your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb, wiping away the streak of fluid your tears had left. He leaned in towards you until you could feel his breath against your lips. You opened and closed your mouth, feeling like a goldfish because no sound would come out. The way Bucky was looking into your eyes had rendered you speechless. It almost felt like the love you felt for him was being reflected back at you. You wanted to kiss him but you couldn’t move. His nose brushed lightly against yours and then his lips were pressed against yours. It started out gentle, his mouth against yours, lips moving in tandem, until his tongue sought out yours. The taste of you seemed to ignite a deeper desire inside him because suddenly his arms were wrapped around you, pulling you closer, closer than you’d ever been to him, enveloped in his embrace as his hands roamed over your back, fingers pushing into you through the fabric of your little black dress.

You wrapped your arms tightly around Bucky's neck and as he straightened his back, you were lifted off the floor. The only way for you to support yourself was to wrap your legs around his waist, and Bucky's hands on your ass gave you the encouragement you needed to take this next step. Soon your core was rubbing against his crotch and Bucky stumbled across to the bed, laying you down with surprising tenderness. He knelt down between your splayed legs and smiled at you with an adoring gaze.

“I've wanted this for so long,” he whispered, as though a loud noise might wake him for this dream.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Why didn't you?”

You laughed to yourself, both of you had been so afraid of losing the other that you'd missed out on the happiness you'd sought from each other.

“Do we have to talk about this right now? I want to go back to the kissing,” you pouted.

This earned you one of those rare joyous laughs from him, ones that he often saved for you. You treasured each and every one of these, they were so rare and precious. Bucky captured your protruding lower lip between his teeth, giving it a playful tug before going back to the heated lip lock you'd been engaged in earlier.

Only when he was grinding his hips into yours and moaning that a horrifying thought entered your mind.

“Bucky,” you called his name quietly.

“Mmm?” he hummed, not taking his lips off the spot on your neck that he was sucking enthusiastically.

“Buck… stop.”

There was a pop as the seal of his lips on your neck broke. “Are you okay?”

“I can't…”

“I'm sorry,” Bucky backed away, like he'd been burned. 

“Buck, wait,” you reached for his hand. “I mean, I need to talk to Sidney.”

“Oh, yeah, right. Of course, you have a date.” 

“Bucky, I need to break it off with him before we… I don't want to be that person. Do you understand?”

“Yeah,” Bucky sighed, sitting down beside you as you pulled the straps of your dress back over your shoulder. 

“Can you give me some time to go talk to him?”

Bucky nodded, not quite trusting himself to speak lest his voice betrayed his disappointment. But you knew him well enough to read his face.

“Hey, I'll be back. I promise.” You held out your pinky for him to take.

He smiled and linked his little finger with yours. One of the things he admired most about you was your integrity. You stood up, leaning back for one more quick kiss before you walked away, only letting go of his hand once you both couldn't extend your arms any further. You stole one last look at him before closing the door.

On your way back to your room, you called Sidney, asking him to meet you, before you changed out of your dress and into more comfortable clothes. A heavy guilt settled on your chest, you knew you'd be hurting him but you knew you couldn't offer him your whole heart, not when you knew Bucky was at home waiting for you. The next hour was a difficult one for you, you did your best to be gentle and considerate of Sidney’s feelings as you let him down.

“Look Sidney, I’m really sorry about this, I didn’t mean to string you along.”

“But you’re in love with someone else.” Sidney looked at you with a sad smile.

Your eyes widened in surprise. “How do- what makes you say that?”

“It’s the way you talk about Sergeant Barnes,” he said knowingly.

“I’m sorry.” You turned your head to hide the tears threatening to escape.

“He’s a lucky man.” Sidney leant down and gave you a peck on the cheek. “I’ll see you around.”

You sighed as you made your way back home, still feeling a little deflated about what you’d just done. But a promise was a promise and you didn’t want to keep Bucky waiting. It was the thought of Bucky that stopped you dragging your feet but you made a pitstop in your room to freshen up your makeup.

Before you knew it, you were back outside Bucky’s door and you were pretty certain your heart skipped a beat as you knocked nervously. What if he had changed his mind?

There clearly wasn’t cause for concern because Bucky opened the door so fast, you wondered if he had just been standing on the other side waiting for you. He wrapped his arm around your waist and scooped you into his chest, shutting the door with the edge of his foot. 

Bucky kissed you as though he hadn’t seen you in years and you melted into him with a sigh.

“You were gone too long,” he pouted. “I missed you.”

“You okay?” he asked, a tinge of concern in his voice as he ran his thumb along your jaw. “I know that wasn’t easy for you.”

He was right, it hadn’t been easy for you to break off your relationship with Sidney. You never enjoyed hurting other people. You made time for people’s problems, even when you were exhausted, always ready to lend that extra helping hand. Your generosity of spirit was another reason that Bucky admired you. It made you smile, the way he understood your feelings without you having to explain them to him.

“Yeah, I’m alright.” 

Being with Bucky seemed to make your problems disappear and your feelings for him surged to the surface. 

“Are you sure?” he asked, nuzzling your ear and peppering the side of your neck with tiny kisses.

“Yeah, glad to be here with you,” you hummed, enjoying the way his skin felt against yours.

“You sure you haven't got any more men stashed away that I need to know about?” he mumbled.

You pulled away slightly, just to look him directly in the eye so he knew the sincerity of your next words. “No secret stash. Only you.”

“Just me?” Bucky put his hands on cheeks, putting his fingers under your jaw to tilt your face up to look at him.

“I'm all yours, Bucky.”

You leaned up, puckering your lips for a kiss and he obliged. Locked at the mouth, he led you backwards until your heels hit the edge of the bed. 

“Tell me again,” he growled, pushing his chest against you til you were falling backwards onto the mattress.

Only your fall wasn't uncontrolled, Bucky's strong hands had settled on you back and he guided your descent. You grabbed the front of his Henley in your hands and pulled him down on top of you. 

“Yours,” you claimed his lips hungrily.

“That's right, mine,” his voice rasped, making you tingle with anticipation.

He pushed his hips against yours, grinning proudly as you moaned in approval.

“You like that, huh?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you heard his belt unbuckling, hearing a clang as it fell onto the floor. He pushed his hand under the seam of your leggings and slid it between your legs. A wanton moan left your mouth as you felt his fingers rubbing on your clothed core.

"Look at you, Doll. You're so fucking wet...and I haven't even touched you yet." Bucky’s voice was low and rumbled through you like thunder.

He wiggled his fingers under your panties and between your folds, smirking into your neck and a gasp escaped your lips. Before you knew it, your eyes were rolling back as his fingers stroked your pussy.

“Bucky,” you whined as his fingers delved deeper. 

It barely registered as his vibranium fingers pulled down your leggings and joined its flesh twin on your clit. Your breathing quickened to match the pace that he was pushing his fingers into you. Every push had you uttering a quiet sigh as he caressed your walls.

“So wet,” he hummed. “I’m the only one who can touch you like this. The only one who can make you feel like this, right?” 

“Only you, Bucky.”

Before you could enjoy Bucky’s fingers more, they left your body. You whimpered at the loss. His hands went to the fabric around your waist, tugging it down until it was off completely and he used his hands to open your legs further. You tried not to gawk at him as he removed his clothes, layer by layer. It wasn’t as though you hadn’t seen Bucky shirtless before, but watching him strip between your spread legs was making you melt. He knelt down at your core, hands ripping apart your bra before kneading your breasts and rolling your nipples in between his fingers. You moaned out when Bucky pinched your nipples harshly.

“Nothing but you,” you repeated, biting your lip with anticipation.

“Doll, I’m going to fuck you so hard that you’ll completely forget who Sidney ever was. I’ll give you my love until you’re satisfied. You’ll think of nothing but me.”

“Good. Now let’s make sure that you will never be able to look at that man again without thinking of this moment," Bucky groaned as he began to nibble on your neck.

His lips sucked and nibbled at your skin, marking his territory. He tugged his underwear down his thighs, using his other hand to line his cock up with your entrance. Slowly and sensually, he rubbed his tip against you, getting lost in his own pleasure for a moment, forgetting to remind you who you belonged to. Loud moans escaped your mouth as he slammed into you with hardly any warning. 

"Fuck, you're so tight, Doll,” Bucky groaned into your ear. “Feel so good.”

Bucky lifted your legs up onto his chest so your calves rested on his shoulders. He pulled your hips into his and started pushing into you repeatedly, almost mercilessly.

“Sidney only wishes that he could fuck you like this,” he leaned over so his face was up close to yours. “But no one will ever fill you up like I can. No one can make you feel good the way I can. You’re mine, Doll, only for me to have.”

“Buc-” you breathed, barely able to speak.

“What are you?”

“Yours Sergeant, I’m all yours. Promise. Yours. Only yours!” you repeated over and over.

Desperate for your release, you reached down to your clit.

“Don’t even think about it,” Bucky growled. “You come on my cock screaming my name or you don’t come at all.”

Bucky leaned forwards til his face was inches from yours, bending your legs right up to your chest.

"You feel that, Doll? You feel how I fill you up?" Bucky demanded.

You nodded, unable to speak at first. Eventually you gasped out the words, "I feel you, Bucky.”

"And could he ever make you feel as good as I make you feel?" Bucky asked before going back to fucking you hard and fast.

"No Bucky, never,” you moaned.

You could feel your orgasm approaching far more rapidly than normal and Bucky had gone back to marking his territory with his lips on your skin. It almost burned where he was sucking against your clavicle.

“Bu- Buck-”

“Yeah?” He slowed to respond to your attempts at his name. 

His lips were only inches away from yours. All you wanted was to meet them, but instead, Bucky bit your lip harshly, making you throw back your head in pleasure as he kept sucking on you.

"That's what I want to hear," Bucky cooed as he finally kissed you.

He buried his face into your breasts as his thrusts became more frantic. His hands snaked around your waist, a surprisingly soft action for all the roughness he’d displayed up until this point. The moans he released into your ear alone would make you come. The feeling of his balls slapping against your ass, cock diving deep inside of you, sent you spiraling.

“Bucky!” You muttered his name, unable to focus on anything but the way his cock and hands worked your body, filling you to the brim. Pleasure completely overwhelming your mind and body.

“That’s right, Doll. You were made for me.”

“Please, Bucky, I want to come!” There was nothing that could stop the cry that leaves your lips, you needed it so badly, you wanted him so badly. 

“Do it already,” Bucky goaded. “Come for me. Come because I want you to.”

“Yes Bucky, yes!” You as his words finally pushed you over the edge, his name leaving your lips as you finally reached your peak.

The only thing you could think of was his cock thrusting inside you. Your pussy clenched and tightened around his cock making him release with a grunt and a moan as he coated you in his seed. He stayed inside you, catching his breath, playing with your hair, looking into your eyes with such complete adoration that it almost took your breath away. At least until he pulled out of you slowly, making his cum spill out of you and drip across your abdomen.

“You did such a good job, Doll,” Bucky whispered to you as he softly kissed your forehead. “My pretty girl. You rest now, let me clean you up.”

You pushed yourself up the bed, trying to avoid spilling his seed all over the clean bed sheets. Bucky reappeared quickly with a washcloth and started wiping himself off your skin, parting your legs gently and cleaning over your folds.

“Bucky, I-” you reached out to stop him, suddenly feeling incredibly self conscious about this new level of intimacy. “You don't have to.”

Bucky sat down beside you, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “Let me take care of you,” he murmured, voice filled with tenderness.

He finished up and lay down beside you, giving you one of his looser fitting t-shirts which you slipped over your head gratefully. You tucked yourself into his side and rested your head on his shoulder, sighing as his fingers fluttered over your thighs and over the curve of your ass.

“Was that okay?” he whispered into your hair, his warm breath blowing against the bare skin on your neck.

“It was amazi-.” You started answering but your voice was interrupted by a loud growl from your stomach.

“Still hungry, huh?”

You blushed, hiding your face in his warm sturdy chest.

“Want to grab some dinner. Can't have my best girl starving.”

A warmth spread through you at his words. “Maybe in a bit? I don't want to move yet. Is that okay?” You looked up at him. 

He smiled down at you, placing a small kiss at the tip of your nose. “Perfect.”

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fan fiction

[softgreengrass]

I’ll Survive

Natasha Romanoff x reader

Summary: happy then sad then happy, requested, supersoldier!r but it’s not relevant to plot

Word Count: 2.7K

Warnings: death, grief

A/N: thanks for the request!

You and Natasha are in the gym when FRIDAY calls a meeting.

“Come on, is that all you got?” she grins, leaning into the punching bag with all her weight.

You fire a few more jabs, and her feet slip back a little. Sweat rolls down your forehead.

“Attention, all,” FRIDAY’s voice rings out. “Mission briefing in the conference room. 10 minutes.”

You don’t stop your barrage of punches, your eyes locked onto the Avengers logo in the center of the bag.

“You sure you’re ready to get back into it?” Natasha asks.

You’ve been coming off of an injury for a few months now. Bad intel, a trap, a bullet straight through your femur — being on bedrest was your seventh circle of hell.

Instead of answering, you wind your fist back and hit the bag hard enough to send it flying across the room, taking Natasha with it. She slams against the wall and laughs.

You wipe your face with a towel before walking over and kicking the bag away from her. “Sorry.”

“Super soldiers,” she mutters, shaking her head.

You offer her a hand. She takes it, rising to her feet, and leans into your chest. Butterflies shoot through your stomach.

“You sure you’re ready?” she asks softly.

“Yeah.”

Her eyes flick down to your lips, and you pull her into a slow kiss. Her hands find the back of your neck, lace through your hair. It only lasts a few seconds before she swipes her foot behind your leg and shoves your shoulders hard.

You land flat on your back with a groan.

“10 minutes, killer,” she smirks. “And don’t ever do that again.”

You’re the last one in the conference room, and there are no seats left around the table. Cap shoots you a disapproving glance as you close the door behind you.

“Hope no one made any weekend plans,” Cap clears his throat. “Because we’re heading to Russia.”

Tony groans obnoxiously. “Come on, really?”

The holographic screen suspended above the table turns on, showing the floor plans of the Kremlin. Everyone falls silent.

“This isn’t a villain of the week, guys,” Steve sighs. “Hell, it’s not even HYDRA.”

You whistle, and Rhodey glares at you.

“As far as we can tell, the Russian government is doing this entirely of their own accord. The only one pulling the strings is Putin.”

“What are they doing?” Clint asks, leaning back in his chair.

“They want to put nukes in space.” Steve presses his clicker and the screen shows the earth and a dozen orbits around it. “That’s a one-way ticket to world war three.”

“And you want us to, what, eat the nukes?” Tony asks.

Cap clenches his jaw. “The Department of Defense wants us to make sure they don’t launch. My plan makes sure Putin won’t ever get the chance to.”

“You want to assassinate him?” Natasha asks quickly.

Steve faces her. “I want you to.”

Your eyes meet Natasha’s through the projection, and you swallow.

“He’s gotta be the most well-protected guy on the planet,” Bruce says.

“That’s a suicide mission!” Clint cries.

“Which is why we’re all going,” Steve says, in that authoritative old man tone that shuts everyone up. “Banner’s right. It’s going to take all of us just to get a chance.”

“Pretty sure assassinating the Russian president is an act of war,” you say. “Number two in command is just gonna send those nukes up and point them straight at the Pentagon.”

Everyone is quiet for a moment. Then they turn towards Steve.

“Which is why I have a plan,” he says firmly.

You don’t like it one bit. Not one bit. Natasha, undercover for two weeks without comms. Clint posing as a diplomat. The rest of you hunkered underground, waiting for the right moment to invade the Kremlin. It’s almost recklessly risky. And yet, Steve has his full faith in it, which means the rest of you do too.

That night, Natasha holds onto you tightly. She’s terrified to go back there, regardless of what she says. It’s worse than going after one cell, or even the Red Room itself. It’s the man behind the curtain who’s been controlling it all.

“It’s going to go fine,” she murmurs, wrapping her arms around your waist and pulling you further into her.

“It is,” you say. You take her hands and press them into your sternum. You’d only succeeded in being the big spoon a couple times — never when she was stressed. So you stare at the wall. “I mean it.”

“Me too,” her breath fans against the back of your neck. “We’ve done harder things before, haven’t we?”

“Oh, absolutely,” you exhale. “I mean, aliens? AI? Bruce when he’s hungry?”

She laughs, and that eases some of the pressure on your heart. “Worst case, I’ll survive.”

“You always do.”

“I always do,” she smiles. “And best case, I take care of him, you get rid of the cabinet, and Steve slides in his new leader. And we get out of there and go to… I don’t know. The Dominican Republic.”

“The Dominican Republic?”

“Why not?” she kisses your shoulder. “A vacation. Moscow’ll be a pretty intense way to get back into the action. You’ll deserve a break.”

“I’ve been on a break for three months,” you snort.

“Oh come on, you don’t want a piña colada? Palm trees? White sand beaches?”

“Well when you put it like that,” you say, turning around to face her. “I guess we could go to the Dominican Republic.”

She smiles, tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “Promise?”

You could stare into the green of her eyes forever. “Promise.”

Not three weeks later, you sit staring at a computer screen in a bunker a hundred feet below Red Square. Tony sits to your left. There’s no point in watching the feed, since all of the cameras are outside of the Kremlin and Natasha walked in an hour ago, but you can’t help it. You feel powerless.

For ten days, Natasha has been Alina Konstantinovna Petrova, a middle-aged politician who just got back from a stint in Belarus. When she emerged wearing the nanotech mask for the first time, you genuinely didn’t recognize her. Her voice, her gait, her mannerisms — all changed. Sometimes you forget she’s the world’s greatest spy.

But with no comms and no tracker, all you have is your faith in that fact. Just your trust in her.

If she’s on schedule, she should be having tea with the Prime Minister, but really she could be anywhere, doing anything. There’s absolutely no way for you to know.

“You know,” Wanda sighs, tipping back in her office chair and tossing a tennis ball into the air. “I don’t think all of us had to be here.”

“Agreed,” Tony grumbles. “I was supposed to be at a gala right now.”

“Do you think-”

“Quiet!” Steve orders, narrowing his eyes at the screen. “Do you see that? Is that smoke?”

You lean closer. It is smoke, pouring out of a second-floor window, and it makes your stomach drop.

Steve taps into the emergency comms in Clint’s ear. “Is there a fire? What’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” Clint’s voice replies, hushed. “I don’t know, they put us into a ballroom. I don’t know where she is.”

“Shit,” Steve mutters.

“What do we do?” you ask, rising to your feet.

Steve grimaces. “If… if we make contact now, she won’t have a shot. It’ll all be for nothing.”

“The Kremlin isn’t usually on fire,” you snap.

“I’m sure she can handle it,” he glares back. His voice is dangerously quiet when he speaks again. “She knows what’s on the line here.”

But five minutes later, the smoke hasn’t stopped. It’s spread. Clint and the other diplomats are being evacuated.

You keep your eyes glued to the feed, scanning for Alina Petrova’s face among the crowd. She never emerges, but neither do the Prime Minister or cabinet. Maybe there’s a hidden exit.

Just when it seems like the fire is coming under control and the chaos is cooling, the cameras cut out.

You rush for the exit immediately, Tony and Steve right on your heels. Your entire body goes numb as you climb the ladder.

It’s probably fine, you think, hands squeezing the rungs too tight. The fire burned a power line, or the government stopped the footage to protect their image. She’s fine. She’s fine.

You heave the manhole cover out of place with your shoulder, hoisting yourself onto the street and ignoring the pedestrians who stare at you.

It’s absolute pandemonium. There’s a crater where half of the Kremlin used to be, and the other half is engulfed in flames. You sprint towards it.

Steve immediately shouts after you, but all you can hear is the rush of blood in your ears.

Maybe there’s a hidden exit. She had to have noticed the fire, she would’ve escaped, she would’ve made it out. She would’ve.

The police that are always stationed around the Kremlin make a border around it, though no one except you is trying to go towards the burning building.

“Ostanavis’!” they yell, but you hurdle their makeshift barricade.

If she was on schedule, she would’ve been on the east side, top floor. The heat doesn’t even register in your mind.

You root through rubble as fast as you can, barely noticing when Wanda and Steve join you in your search. Smoke stings your eyes and fills your lungs until you can barely choke out a breath.

There are heaps of ash that might’ve once been people, might’ve once been Natasha.

You climb trembling supports to get to the second floor: there are bones there, even fragments of medals and jewelry. The farther you get from the crater the less charred the bodies become. But you can only get so close to the live blaze, and none of the bodies are hers. The skin on your hands begins to blister from red-hot ash and metal.

At some point Steve pulls you away, ignores the way you claw at him and scream that you won’t leave her. The three of you (Tony, Bruce, and Rhodey had been wise enough to run away from flaming wreckage) end up in a Russian prison, charged as enemies of the state responsible for the fire and ensuing blast.

By the time the Department of Defense negotiates you out, you’ve convinced yourself that Natasha must’ve escaped. There’s no other option. She couldn’t die. If you didn’t find her, she couldn’t have been there. She must’ve gotten out.

But when you walk into SHIELD’s Moscow base, she isn’t there. It’s only Fury and Clint.

“Where is she?” you ask, rushing towards them. Everyone else seems to slip out of the room.

Fury’s eyes stay trained on you, swimming with something you don’t want to decipher. Your heart pounds against your chest

“Where is she?”

“She’s dead,” Clint says, his voice raw.

“No,” you respond immediately. “No, she isn’t.”

He closes his eyes.

No. You see a flash of her smile, of the jacket she loved. You feel the ghost of her touch on your face.

“I thought she faked it,” Fury says after a moment. “But… we made a deal a few years ago. If one of us faked it again we’d leave something behind so the other would know. A ring.”

You’ve never heard his voice so weak before. Somehow it’s scarier than anything else.

“But there was no ring,” he clears his throat. “Just this.”

He holds out his hand, opens it. The necklace you gave Natasha last year is bunched up on his palm, dark with soot. Your knees almost give out. She never takes it off, not to sleep or train or go undercover. She would never leave it behind.

Reality dawns on you like an awful black wave. Natasha is dead.

“I’m sorry,” Fury says, resting a hand on your shoulder. You can’t feel it. Every breath, every blink is manual now, every movement an act of will.

Worst case, I’ll survive.

You just want to hug her again. Just see her face one more time, knowing it’ll be the last. Suddenly a deep red rage fills your vision, and your muscles twitch to strangle whoever set the fire, whoever planted the bomb.

“There was no body?” you ask hoarsely. You can’t tear your eyes from the necklace.

Fury shakes his head. “Ash.”

A lump forms in your throat that won’t leave for weeks. You feel like you’re looking at everything through frosted glass, frozen in the moments that you just held. It’s like you’ve been caught in a spiderweb.

You don’t cry until you set foot inside her room at the compound. Everything is just how she left it, like she just stepped out. Like she’ll come back any second now.

The covers on her bed are rumpled.

You can’t wrap your kind around the fact that she could be gone, vanished into thin air, reduced to dust. That she’ll never touch anything again. You sit down on the floor and hug your knees.

For a few days you don’t eat; you don’t speak for longer. The gaping hole in your chest churns and twists in an agonizing way. Every night you dream of refusing Steve’s plan, or going up as soon as you saw the smoke, or doing anything except sitting idly while she burned alive.

You’re at Steve’s throat often enough that Tony kicks you both out of the compound. It’s not like either of you are of use, anyways. The others manage to channel their sorrow into work. You don’t.

Clint takes time off, too. Laura manages to convince you it’ll be good.

But with nothing to distract you, you feel the pain of every passing moment. Every minute that you get older and she doesn’t. You don’t want to have to think of a life without her in it.

Weeks or months into your dull gray blur of a life, someone knocks on your door. You hope it’s not Steve. You don’t know if it’s the season, but you could spring for a box of Thin Mints.

It’s not a girl scout. It’s Natasha.

Your eyes go wide; your face pales. Nanotech mask? Clone? “A-Are you real?”

She wheezes out your name, keeps her hands clutched to her side.

“Is it really you?” you ask, your eyes welling with tears and your hands trembling as you reach out to touch her.

“I missed you,” she breathes, her eyes roaming your face.

She has a black eye and a split lip. It’s her. You drink in the green of her eyes and the red of her hair and the softness of her face and you can’t keep the sobs from escaping. She crashes into your arms, ignoring the throbbing pain in her ribs. She smells like sweat and home.

Natasha is crying too, shaking, her face hidden in your chest. You close your eyes and tilt your head down to rest your lips on her head.

“You’re hurt,” you say when you remember how to speak.

She pulls away and kisses you deeply. It feels like God blessing you, even if it tastes like blood. She’s real. You don’t let go of her until she gently pushes you away.

“We should go inside,” she whispers.

You’re in a daze for half an hour, while you wrap her ribs and bandage the gash on her arm. She doesn’t leave your gaze for one second. When you’re finally satisfied that she won’t drop dead, you collapse onto the couch next to her.

She climbs on top of you, pulls you close.

“They were onto me,” she murmurs into your hair. “I had to escape, I couldn’t let them think I was alive.”

Anger roars in your chest. “I’m not losing you again.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I’m going to kill them,” you growl, wrapping your arms around her securely.

“I’ll help,” she says, and you can hear the smile in her voice. “They’re probably coming here.”

“You were followed?”

“I wanted to see you,” she sighs. “I didn’t take all the precautions.”

You laugh and bury your face into the crook of her neck. “You think we can go to the Dominican Republic after?”

“I’ll break up with you if we don’t.”

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #angst #black widow #black widow x reader #marvel #mcu #natasha x reader #fluff

[mrsbarnesblog]

barbie

masterlist ko-fi ao3

Summary: Bucky takes his best girl to watch a Barbie movie and then spoils her with gifts.

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: tooth-rotting fluff, Bucky being the best boyfriend, he's healing your inner child.

Author's note: it was inspired by Barbie movie when it just came out. I think that Bucky is that type of boyfriend who would do everything possible to make you happy<3

You had been excited about the Barbie movie since the day you found out that it was in the making, and you may or may not have annoyed Bucky with it like a million times.

You begged him to go see it on the day of the premiere, and even if at first he really wanted to say “no”, he couldn’t.

Yes, he was your grumpy old supersoldier, but he would do anything to make you smile.

When the tickets started to sell, it was almost impossible to find one because people went crazy about this movie.

When you finally had time to look for the tickets, they were sold out. Obviously. Even if you didn’t say anything, Bucky saw sadness written on your face when you didn’t get the tickets for the opening night, and it hurt him to see you that way.

So, as the best boyfriend in the world, he got them for you. 

Yes, there was definitely one good thing about being a famous Avenger: you could get almost everything.

You and Sam also taught him how to use TikTok a few months ago, and besides a million videos of cats, he started to see Barbie-related content. He wasn’t really interested until he saw a video where a guy bought his girlfriend a doll and a lot of pink and cute things as a surprise.

Would you like it if he bought this for you? Did you even like dolls?

Bucky didn’t think about it too much; he just went to the store. 

He probably stood in front of the shelf with Barbie dolls for way too long because, while he was looking for the one he thought you would like, a shop assistant came to offer him some help. Bucky explained his situation, and the young girl—Stassie, as he found out—was almost jumping with excitement to help him and said that his girlfriend was really lucky.

She showed Bucky two dolls that came out recently: one in the western look and one in a light pink dress. It was hard to pick one because both were really cute.

So he bought both.

Stassie gave Bucky a few tips on what else he could buy for you; that's why, after another hour in the mall, he went home with a big box full of random pink and cute stuff.

You weren’t at home, so he hid the box in a safe place and decided to give it to you after the movie.

The day before the premiere, when you two were already getting ready to sleep, laying under the blanket and ready to cuddle while watching a movie, he silently gave you a white envelope.

“What is this?” You asked, looking at your weirdly smiley boyfriend.

“Open.”

You studied his face for a few seconds, but then sat up and carefully opened it to not rip whatever was inside. 

“Bucky…” You whispered as two tickets with “Barbie” written on them fell into your hand. “You didn’t—how did you get it?” Your eyes were watery as you looked at him.

“That’s a secret. But I wanted to make you happy.” The soft look in his eyes made you want to cry, but instead you just jumped into his arms, leaving kisses all over his face.

“I fucking love you, James.” 

“I love you more, doll.”

It was safe to say that he got his reward for being a thoughtful boyfriend, and you both fell asleep only a few hours later. 

You two walked out of the movie theater holding hands while you were still sobbing a little bit. It was an amazing experience, and you were overwhelmed with feelings. Bucky led you to the side so you wouldn’t bother other people, wrapped his hands around you, and held you close to him.

“Are you okay, baby?” He mumbled into your hair and kissed your temple.

“Yes. I’m so happy that we watched it. And that you came with me.” You wrapped your hands around Bucky’s neck and melted into him.

“I liked it too, actually.” You heard a deep chuckle.

“You know, I told you that you look great in pink, and you didn’t believe me.” 

You obviously decided to stick to a non-official dress code, but it was hard to convince your boyfriend that he needed to wear something pink too. So the only thing that he liked in the store was a pink jean jacket, and you were okay with that.

An old lady that sat in the movie theater behind you with her grandkids said to Bucky that he was a really good young gentleman and that you two were perfect for each other. 

Bucky didn’t really like any interactions with strangers, but you still noticed a light pink color on his cheeks and a sweet smile that he gave to the woman.

“If you think so, I’ll accept it, baby.” He was silent for a few seconds, but then smiled again and cupped your face with his metal hand so you would look at him. “I have something for you at home. Do you want to go there now and then order some food?”

“Something for me?” You frowned at him but still leaned into his touch. “And you should know better than to ask me whether I want to order food or not. I always do.”

You were sitting in your living room on the couch, where Bucky told you to stay and wait for him. He went to your bedroom and came back in a few seconds, holding a big pink box.

“This is for you.” He put the box near you on the couch and sat on the free spot at the other end. 

“For me? Why? I forgot about our anniversary or something?” You tried to laugh. 

You opened the lid, and your mouth opened as you saw what was in there. Your shaking hands gently pulled out two boxes with dolls, and you took a few seconds to look at them properly, trying to blink away the tears in your eyes. Then you got the rest of the stuff: a pajama set, a journal, a candle, masks and bath bombs, and a lot of your favorite candies. Of course, everything was pink. 

“I hope you like it. The girl at the store said–” You didn’t let him finish before you stood from your place and sat onto Bucky’s lap, hugging him as hard as you could, sobbing into his neck.

“Sh-h, baby, that’s okay.” He wrapped his arms around your body, gently swaying you from side to side.

“T-thank you so much, Bucky, really. You didn’t have to do it.” You moved back a little bit, and Bucky’s right hand immediately flew to your face to wipe away tears. You took one of the boxes with a doll on your lap and carefully took her out of the box. “She’s so pretty... I’ve never had a real Barbie before. They are expensive.”

“It is worth every dollar if it makes you happy. I saw this idea on that video app, and I wanted to give you something special.” 

He looked at you with a soft smile while you were unpacking the second doll and then gently touching her hair and clothes. He thought that he gave this present more to the younger you, and it made him feel so happy.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” You put the doll down and took Bucky’s face in your hands. “I am so lucky to have such a person in my life. Thank you for everything. Not only for dolls, it’s all amazing. I love you, James.” You closed your eyes when he moved closer and put his forehead on yours. 

“I’m the one who is lucky to have you. I’ll give you anything if it makes you smile this way. I love you.” 

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky x reader #bucky x you #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x you

[ronearoundblindly]

How the Unknown Have Fallen

part of the Autumn Is Healing series (see previous)

Steve Rogers x super soldier!reader

Warnings for canon typical dark themes (Hydra Soldiers were treated very badly--shocker) WC 1.8k

There’s no record of the name you give, not officially. It would help if you gave a birthday, but even that you aren’t sure of.

They’re trying to give you space. No one wants to interrogate you right after you’ve woken up as yourself for the first time in…who knows how long.

But they can’t find anything. Nothing. Nada. It’s not the usual ‘nothing’ they find when Hydra erases someone either, and when Maria Hill finally gets frustrated enough to go in and ask you specifics, she understands why.

Your mother was a hippie before hippies were cool. A free spirit. A free enough spirit that she never knew who your father was, and as a kid, it didn’t matter to you. By the time you would have been going to school, your mom relocated you both to a communal living situation in the middle of nowhere. No paperwork, no records, no identification.

You aren’t even sure the last name you remember was real or the general, adopted name of everyone in the commune. Maria gets uncomfortable while your emotions run away (briefly) at that realization.

You helped the other kids and adults grow the food for the group. Steve understands now that you were reciting plant names, not speaking Latin, when you woke up from your nightmare. You—real you, not Autumn-you—likes gardening. No wonder you buried your hands in the dirt the second your brainwashing was cleared.

Nature is soothing to you. That’s your happy-place. 

However, hallucinogenic plants were also very popular to grow, and since they could make the commune a bit of money (or be traded for essentials), you helped grow a lot of those, too. Drug culture in the ‘70s drove your mom to a series of boyfriends. You stopped living with her at 15, but you didn’t know how to have a real life. How does one get a job and find stable shelter without an identity? You only knew about a few things, so you grew weed on a farm with a handful of sketchy guys.

The day Hydra took you, you’d gone to the house with your ‘co-worker’ to sell what pot you could. When finished, on the way back to the car, the guy—your sorta-co-worker—made a pass at you and got angry when you pushed him off. He drove off without you.

You went back inside to find a phone or a place to stay the night. That’s when you saw men in all black wandering though the zonked junkies, grabbing a few men and women, dragging them out the back.

A cloth went over your face and...

You stop talking to Maria. It just all stops. She can’t get anything else, not another word, not about your past, not about getting you food or water, not even asking what your favorite things to grow are.

Hours go by. Bucky can’t get you to speak. Neither can Nat. Bruce goes in to check on you physically, but he doesn’t really try to strike up conversation. He purposefully asks yes or no questions so that you can nod or shake your head. Then you’re left alone.

Steve stays perfectly calm on the outside, but he is moved to his core. He’s sad that all those shitty circumstances lined up to drop you in harm’s way and that no one was looking to get you out, no one wanted you back.

To be fair, you had nothing to go back to anyway.

Maria Hill can’t start the process of making you an official person, not with so little information, and she can see how on edge you still are. She doesn’t want to ask if that name you gave—the one that has no real history yet all that baggage—is what you want to return to.

While Hill leaves your fate dangling—for now—Steve has an idea.

You mentioned where your mother first met the folks from the commune: Woodstock.

He sets F.R.I.D.A.Y. to run partial facial recognition on all photographs from those three days in 1969, and yes, maybe it’s a long shot, but it can’t hurt. He has no idea if he’ll find anything, so he doesn’t tell anyone.

Hours. More hours. Hours where he tries to come up with any other wild idea just in case this one goes absolutely nowhere, like it seems to be going, all night.

It’s the next morning when Steve finally gets a ping, and he gasps.

He’s never seen or met the woman in the photo, but he knows. You look just like your mother except for your chin—brows, eyes, nose, even your smile (though he’s seen that fleetingly at best). And it’s you, for sure it is you, about five years old, in a potato sack dress with a flower crown on, arms high and laughing while your mom crouches in the grass with you. One cheek is painted with an obscured design.

He looks at the image far too long and considers what he’s about to do far too little.

“I forgot about the tattoo,” you whisper, running a finger along the woman in the photo’s inner wrist. It’s extremely hard to see but further proof that you recognize her. You strategically ignore yourself in the picture.

Steve finds himself wondering if you have any tattoos, or if you did, if you got any before the serum, or if your serum was even like his in that way. He misses the signs that you’re about to explode.

He sees just one tear drip down to the tablet he placed in front of you before—SMASH—it’s flung across the room and shattered against the wall.

The screaming goes on for a long time. It rings in his ears even after he’s forced out of the room while Banner tries to give you a sedative.

“You can’t call her that,” Steve barks.

No. No. Even if you don’t have attachment to the name you told him the instant you woke up, they are not calling you ‘Autumn.’ No. It’s disgraceful.

“Why?” You look at him with huge, innocent eyes.

“It’d be like Bucky being called Winter,” Steve nearly shouts. Why can’t anyone see how bad that is?

Bucky clears his throat. “Some people do actually call me that.”

“But not permanently.” He tosses his arm out to point at Maria’s tablet, where the Director is filling out paperwork to give you an identity. “That’s not who you—“ Steve turns to Buck “—that’s not who she is.”

Your identity cannot be your damn Hydra codename. No. Steve won’t allow it.

“They don’t,” you start quietly, “call us by, I mean, they never spoke to us using those names. They don’t—didn’t—really talk to us at all. It’s just orders or speaking over us.”

Bucky nods, and Steve understands that but…no.

“Well, what did they call you?”

Your eyes flicker over to Bucky. “Just…just Soldier…eventually.”

A chill races over Steve’s skin at the implication, and he very, very carefully asks, “and before that?”

Your lip twitches, but not in amusement. You hold his gaze in silence for a long beat until you can’t look at him anymore.

Steve knows you say the word purposefully low, too quiet for anyone other than supers to hear. The mics in the room’s surveillance won’t pick it up. The cameras won’t even register that your mouth moved. Hill is too busy typing in ‘Autumn’ as your chosen name, but he hears it.

“Mare.”

He’s been lanced through the gut. He can feel blood pouring out of him in sympathetic horror. Steve’s eyes dart to Bucky, and then he double-takes because Bucky is not at all surprised.

“What the hell,” Steve breathes.

Bucky shakes his head tightly. A conversation for another time, punk. He needs to let it go. Steve can’t ask, but he’s bleeding-out to know.

Come to think of it, with all the languages used by various branches of Hydra, Steve isn’t sure whether you said “mère” as in French for mother or “mare” as in a breeding age horse. Either is still horrifying.

He opens and closes his mouth a few times, checking in wordlessly with Bucky as he struggles to think of…anything else.

“You—“ he starts, but Maria cuts him off.

“Preferred last name?”

You remain transfixed by the floor, and Steve almost—almost—just says it. He almost offers up his name because he wants you to know you deserve family, real family, except Bucky beats him to it.

“Barnes. She can be a Barnes.”

Your head snaps up at that.

“If you want,” Bucky corrects, shrugging. “I always had a lotta sisters.”

Yeah, that’s…that’s fair, Steve thinks, it makes the most sense. You have far more shared history with Bucky. He understands you more than Steve can right now, but there’s still a pang, a little itch in the back of his mind, a teeny tiny what if.

“Don’t know that we need to bother with a middle name,” Maria mumbles, making her way to the door.

You stand up abruptly.

“Rose.”

And that’s, well, that’s something Steve can get behind. His brain automatically tries it over and over again, except as Rosie. Rosie.

“I like—I like the flower names, nature ones,” you add shyly, brushing it off like it’s something stupid and childish.

Maria instantly softens, relaxing her tablet to her side. She looks you directly in the eye.

“It’s lovely,” and Steve can tell Hill means it, smiling before nodding and leaving your ‘room.’

“A good, classic Barnes name,” Bucky postures. He steps forward to rub his hand across your back, and Steve watches the tension visibly drain out of your high shoulders. “Maybe tomorrow—“ Buck makes his own way toward the door, standing firmly at Steve’s side “—we can see a man about a little square of dirt outside?” He shrugs too. “Or something.”

Steve was right. You have your mother’s smile, but he’s less happy about that than he is at just seeing you smile. 

Bucky smacks him across the chest to get Steve to follow, and because Bucky has known Steve a hundred years or so, he gives Steve an in.

“Sleep tight, Rosie. We’re here if you need us.”

You’re still smiling, excitedly nodding, and saying thank you to your brand new big brother…and his awkward best friend.

“Night, Rosie,” Steve says softly, far more intimately than he intended.

“Goodnight, Steve.”

His shattered, drained, crushed little heart mends itself from the superglue of your joyful voice.

You give a small wave. “See you tomorrow.”

Shit. I am so wildly, miserably obsessed with this dynamic, it's not even funny. Hope you enjoyed this, and I promise a lot more fluff to come from these guys (along with one angsty/fight one but shhh).

Reblogs, comments, and likes are always appreciated, and my asks are open for all your ranting/headcanon needs!

[Main Masterlist]

absolutely, crazy adorable dividers by @silkholland

[Chronological Next Part]

#autumn is healing #steve rogers #fanfic #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fic #steve x reader #steve x you #series #fluff and feels #angst with a happy ending #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fanfic #supersoldier!reader #super soldier

[mediocre-daydreams]

𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐬

📌 jen's favs 📎 drabbles 🔒angst 🌷fluff 🗯 18+

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

under oath @ugh-supersoldiers

(series) the world needs someone to blame for the deaths that hydra facilitated for decades, and the target is on the back of the former winter soldier. the case is going to trial, and seemingly the guilt ridden bucky barnes can’t care less about the verdict.🌷🔒📌📌

café crema @wonderlandmind4

(series) the first time was an accident. the second time was coincidence. the third time is just unlucky. the fourth time is getting out of hand and the fifth may or may not be with intent. otherwise known as The One Where He Spills Her Coffee. (modern! au) 🌷

guiding light @wkemeup

(series) it was supposed to be a simple mission. get the intel and go home. until everything goes wrong and you’re taken captive by hydra. while you struggle to stay alive and hold your sanity, bucky begins to lose himself to a darkness and gives into the soldier because he doesn’t know how to breathe without you. not until he brings you home. if he even can. 🌷🔒🔒📌📌

two sides of the same coin @anonymityisfunwriter

(series) you've been in hydra isolation your entire life, and sam is tasked to watch over you. bucky can't understand how you came out of hydra so optimistic and decides he hates you because of it. as you integrate into society, the avengers team, and SHIELD politics, bucky ends up being your biggest supporter. (inspired by taylor swift songs) 🌷🔒📌

snow @delaber

(series) tired of your constant bickering, sam sends you and bucky on a mission alone. when the worst possible outcome happens and you’re forced to spend several days together in a small cabin, you finally get to see a different, more pleasurable side to the man whose flesh you’ve always had a thorn in. 🌷🔒🗯📌📌

not happening @notimetoblog

(series) an online dating site clearly makes a mistake when it matches you with the one person you cannot stand. 🌷📌

tell me which one is worse (living or dying first) @nightowlwriting

(11k) you are in love with bucky barnes. for a long time, the both of you were joined at the hip but then your team stops being paired with his on missions. he stops inviting you over for movie nights. when it finally looks like things are looking up, you hear bucky talking with steve and... it's not good. 🌷🔒📌

safe with me @bitsandbobsandstuff

(series) when an unknown threat enters your life, protection is offered at the highest level. as bucky barnes comes into your life, the game changes, and you realize falling for the man tasked with keeping you safe is the last thing you expected.  (bodyguard! bucky x journalist! reader) 🔒📌

the lengths i'd go to @real-jane

(3.3k) detective barnes and his partner are the star team at precinct 75. one threat could tear it all apart. 🔒🌷📌

heart of steel @invisibleanonymousmonsters

(series) sir james is known throughout the lands as the most fearsome and honorable warrior. ballads have been written about him. men fear him. he is the most trusted knight of the king henry. so why has he given up the glories of war and pledged his loyalty to princess y/n? 🌷🔒

just one kiss @sarahwroteathing

(series) bucky barnes has been chasing after you since he was ten years old, but you’re determined not to give in. how long can you hold out when all he’s asking for is just one kiss? (40′s happy ending AU) 🌷🔒📌

pin it @buckysbabygorl

(1.6k) reader will fight barnes until she wins. bucky isn’t complaining, problem is he can’t resist pinning her to the floor. 🌷

better @captainscanadian

(series) dr. james barnes has it all: a loving family, caring best friends, and a successful career as one of the best heart surgeons in new york. he has everything he ever wanted his whole life… well, almost everything. one thing he never thought he could ever have was y/n y/l/n. she may have been a lot of things, but he loved her because she made him better. (modern! au) 🌷🔒

looped @softlybarnes

(15.2k) you are inadvertently trapped in a time loop without any memory of the last five years, including your relationship with bucky. but bucky would stay in the loop forever, explain everything again each day, if it meant getting to stay by your side. 🔒📌

the push and the pull @delaber

(9.8k) there’s nothing bucky wants more than to be with you - and for that reason alone, he has to break both your hearts. 🔒📌

in the right hands @loving-bucky-is-easier

(5.5k) bucky couldn’t tear his eyes from her lips, from the frost melting into teardrops on her eyelashes, from her slack face that seemed like the life was being drawn straight out of it with every wavering breath.” 🌷🔒

you’re a what now? @floatingpetals

(1.6k) sometimes bucky’s girl is just a little, tiny tiny oblivious and doesn’t realize who she’s talking to. and sometimes she can say the darndest things. 🌷

i need him like water @pellucid-constellations

(3.1k) you think bucky’s having an affair. he thinks… well you aren’t sure what he thinks. but he must notice the living room light is left on. every night. 🔒📌

perfect @thesnowsoldierwrites

(3.5k) in which you and bucky have slowly become inseparable, and someone mistakes you for a married couple. 🌷

torture @just-dreaming-marvel

(5.6k) a miscommunication happens between you and bucky, and it all comes tumbling down from there. 🌷🔒📌

part ii: (9.1k) you and bucky get captured, and it’s definitely not an easy time. 🔒

i’ll be there for you @aries-writingblog

(4.8k) even though they’re best friends, bucky can’t seem to trust himself enough to move in with y/n. 🌷

to build a home @fanficimagery

(5.7k) imaging being rescued from a djinn and having a hard time readjusting to reality after living a lifetime of an almost perfect life. 🔒

awake my soul @foreverindreamlandd

(series) (78k) it’s been five years since zombies first started walking the earth. when you stumble across two young, scared boys lost and being chased by walkers, you go against your better judgment and help them to safety. little did you know that helping them would lead you to bucky - an angry, grumpy, distrusting member of the camp shield. 🌷🔒📌

goodbye @lovelybarnes

(4k) enemies to lovers 🔒📌

completely @rassvetsky

(1k) being one of the few people bucky barnes trusted meant having to babysit alpine when he's away. 🌷

pt ii: (5.6k) 🌷🗯

oh baby, oh baby @tooearlyforthis

(6.2k) as a new recruit, y/n isn’t allowed to go on all the missions yet. to make matters worse, they left behind another, someone that she had despised ever since she first stepped foot in the compound - james buchanan barnes. 🌷

remember me @starryevermore

(14.5k) they sold you out to hydra. but little did they know, they had been tricked by one of their own. too little too late, or can they get you back before you’re too far gone? 🔒🔒

harmless @shurisneakers

(series) bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. 🌷🌷

cute @buckyalpine

(1.3k) bucky being offended he looks cute. he’s a tough beefy muscly super soldier so how. dare. you. 🌷

my girlfriend, the worm @vivwritesfics

(1.2k) y/n asks bucky the worm question. like the old man he is, he answers wrong. 🌷📎

yours @jadedvibes

(8.7k) you broke up with bucky right before college to pursue your career goals across the country. you didn’t think the first time you’d see him again years later would be in your office after he was arrested for a crime you know he didn’t commit. 🌷🗯

there's been a misunderstanding @touchstarvedirl

(5.3k) you’ve been distant with bucky, and he just wants to fix whatever it is that’s keeping you away from him. little does he know, it has everything to do with your encounter with a nosy red-headed assassin you’ve gotten the wrong idea about. 🌷🔒

through the year @/punani

(10.8k) bucky barnes is a sight for sore eyes and he doesn’t know it. she is a sunflower in a sea of roses. just give it another year, and a flurry of 11 soft moments and 1 heartbreaking one. 🌷🔒📌 

sunflower @mollygetssherlockcoffee

(21k) when y/n joins the team, bucky isn’t fond of her but as time goes on, she begins to form bond with the team and with him. 🌷🔒📌

for as long as you need me @whatthetumblfck

(6k+) a recent mission turns out some unexpected results, and you end up a little (a lot) worse for wear.🔒📌  

not for me @kinanabinks

(1.6k) your best friend, steve, has good intentions. he's just really bad with words. 🌷📌

who are you trying to fool? @notimetoblog

(1.5k) a perfect chance at messing with new recruits presents itself to bucky. can he pull it off or will you foil his plan? 🌷 

all that glitters is gold @printedpeterparker

(4.7k) the one where y/n takes a chance on the mobster.🌷 

poppy fields @buckysfaveplum

(3.7k) hiding your feelings for your best friend always seemed like the best idea, until you start coughing up flowers. (hanahaki au) 🔒🌷

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x reader series #bucky barnes x reader fluff #jenny's recs

[bucks-babe]

Bucky Barnes Masterlist

All fics are with a female reader unless stated otherwise. All fics will be posted on my side blog as well @bucks-babesideblog

Updated: 4/16/24

Smut - 😏

Fluff - 🌸

Angst - 🌧️

One shots

Friends Don't Lie 😏🌸- Wanting to know if your crush likes you, you go to Bucky for help, the only problem is, Bucky is your crush

Not One of Us 🌸🌧️- Being new to the compound isn't easy, good thing there is a supersoldier on your side

Be Mean To Me 😏 - After a long day at work, you just want to lose all control and have your boyfriend fuck you into oblivion

More to Love😏🌸🌧️ - Bucky wants to take care of his girl in every sense of the term; so what if she gains a little bit of fat because of it?

My Guardian, My Angel, My Love 😏🌸🌧️- For the first time, Bucky gets to experience peace with his sweet angel

Heated Punishment 😏 - Omega Bucky goes into heat, but his alpha isn’t too happy with him when he tries to hide from her

Let Them Hear😏🌸 - Secret relationships are only fun for so long, so why don't you show everyone who you belong to cumming soon

When At First You Don't Succeed😏🌸- Sometimes getting to the finish line is hard, but luckily you have the perfect partner to help you get through it cumming soon

Take It Off, Baby😏- You made Bucky the happiest man alive when he finds out you started birth control cumming soon

Change My Ways For You😏🌸🌧️- One of the only girls in school that didn’t want Bucky Barnes was somehow the one he fell in love with cumming soon

Virgin!Bucky

Virgin Bucky Gets His First Blowjob 😏- You give your boyfriend his first blowjob

More Virgin Bucky 😏 - Bucky thinks about your movie night

Munch 😏- Virgin Bucky gets his first taste

This Magic Moment 😏 - Vigin Bucky is no longer a virgin

Slip Up😏 - While having fun with your boyfriend, an accident occurs, leading to another first for Bucky

Drabbles

Bucky Loves his Girl's Tummy 😏🌸- Exactly what the title says

Glazed 😏- Bucky goes to extreme measures to let you know you're his and his alone

#bucky barnes #bucky x female reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barns x reader #bucky barns imagine #bucky barns x y/n #bucky masterlist #bucky barnes masterlist

[literaryavenger]

Not So Bad

Summary: It's Bucky's birthday, but he doesn't want to make a big deal out of it.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Language. None, really just fluff. No mentions of Y/N. My poor attempts at being funny.

Word Count: 1K

A/N: He's my second story for today. Happy birthday, Bucky! Thanks to @ordelixx for the idea and @mrsbuckybarnes1917 for read proofing it.

Masterlist

Ever since he’s rejoined society and gained the closest thing he can have to a normal life, being a supersoldier and all, there’s one thing that Bucky can’t bring himself to do: celebrate his birthday.

The more memories he regains, the more he remembers a time where he used to celebrate his birthday with his family and his friends.

Sure, they didn’t have much, but he had his mom and his sister and Steve. It was a simpler yet happier time, and he now all he feels is gloomy.

So every year he treats it like any other day. He trains and goes on missions if he has to, and if he’s in the compound he chills with a book or maybe takes a motorcycle ride, never once even making it known to the rest of the team that it’s his birthday.

“Seriously, Buck? That’s how you’re gonna spend your whole day?” Steve asks Bucky as they walk down the hallway towards their rooms.

“Yes, seriously.” Bucky answers with a roll of his eyes. Every year Steve tries to get Bucky to do something more to celebrate his birthday, but Bucky never budges. “You know damn well what I think about my birthday.”

Steve groans and stops walking, causing Bucky to stop too, and tries one last time before leaving Bucky to his sulking. “I know, but come on! Let’s at least do something together. Let’s celebrate your birthday like we used to, go to Coney Island or something. Don’t spend the day alone!”

“We spend everyday together, Rogers. Sometimes it’s nice to get a break.” Bucky jokes with a smirk before he starts walking again and leaves Steve to chuckle and roll his eyes before he walks to his own room.

What neither of the supersoldiers realized is that they had stopped right in front of your room to talk, just as you were about to walk out. You stopped in your tracks and listened to their conversation.

It’s Bucky’s birthday? How did you not know that? Sure it’s not like you’re the best of friends, but you’re still pretty close. You should’ve known that.

So you decide to do something nice for him today while still respecting his wishes of having a low-key day. You take your purse and jacket and head to the garage, getting into your car and driving towards the city.

Truth is, you’ve always had a crush on the Sergeant. It was hard not to when he looked the way he did, and he was as sweet as Bucky was. 

As intimidating as he might look, you knew how shy he could be. He got flustered easily when he got a compliment, and you found him so adorable when he started blushing and stuttering.

You go to the bookstore you know Bucky loves to browse when he is in the city, it’s a small store that’s filled with second hand books. Bucky always said that he loved to give books a second chance, just like he got one after Hydra. 

You look through the books until you find the perfect one: Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck.

The team saw the movie together when it was Steve’s turn to pick, and as you sat next to Bucky you heard him quietly talk with Steve about the details they remembered from reading the book in the 30s. 

You go to Bucky’s favorite bakery next and buy two dozen of his favorite cupcakes, and when you see that they sell different colors of candles you have to buy a gold and black one.

You drive back to the compound and, after dropping the rest of the cupcakes in the kitchen for the team, you take one, putting the candle on top of it and taking a lighter. You go to Bucky’s room, cupcake in one hand and gift bag in the other, and knock on his door. 

“Come in.” Bucky says from inside, thinking it’s Steve coming to bother him again.

You open the door slightly and look inside, seeing him sitting on his bed with his back against the headboard and a book in his hands.

“Am I bothering you?” You ask hesitantly.

“N-no, you’re not. Come in.” Bucky says quickly, closing his book and sitting up straighter.

You open the door completely and enter his room, taking a couple of steps towards him before stopping. “I… I got you something.”

Bucky’s eyes widen a little as he sees the cupcake and the gift bag you’re holding out to him.

“Did Steve tell you?” His eyes narrow a little, and you squirm a little under his gaze and shake your head.

“I overheard you talking about it…” You say quietly, a little embarrassed. “I get that you don’t want a party or anything, but I thought… I don’t know, I just wanted to do something nice for you on your birthday…”

You start to second guess yourself as he just looks at you and, just as you’re about to backtrack on your stupid idea and leave him alone, he smiles brightly at you, sitting on the edge of his bed and patting the spot next to him.

You sit next to him and you put the bag on his bed so you can light the candle and hold the cupcake out to him with a smile. “Make a wish.”

Bucky thinks about it for a second. He knows what he wants to wish for, the thing is he already got his wish: you in his room, sitting with him on his bed. But he makes his wish anyway before blowing out the candle.

He wished for you to be his.

You smile at each other for a moment before you snap yourself out of it, shaking your head a little and picking up his present and giving it to him.

He puts the cupcake on his nightstand as he takes the bag and opens it and you can see his face light up when he sees it as he runs his fingers down the cover before looking at you with a smile. “Thank you, doll.”

You smile back at him and lean in to kiss his cheek. “Happy birthday, Bucky.” You say before getting up and leaving, letting him have his peaceful day of relaxation. 

Bucky watches you go with a slight blush, his hand over his cheek where you kissed it and a goofy smile on his face.

Perhaps celebrating his birthday is not such a bad thing after all.

#bucky barnes #avengers x reader #bucky barnes x you #steve rogers #avengers x platonic!reader #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes oneshot #marvel fanfiction

[myrkky]

Don't worry, Tony is that surprised just because this is happening very early on in their relationship, and isn't yet used to all the casual displays of affection. But he is very happy to be the meat in a supersoldier sandwich (I mean who wouldn't?? 😂)

(Also I like to imagine a world where Civil War never happened, and they're all just living together in the tower, fighting baddies and being happy)(Also also Thanos who?) 

#Tony Stark #Steve Rogers #Bucky Barnes #Stuckony #SteveBuckyTony #super soldier sandwich #WinterIronShield #marvel #marvel fanart #MCU #MCU fanart #fanart #ironman #captain america #Winter soldier #artists on tumblr #my fan art #my mcu art #myrkkyart