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#i could be remembering it wrong but i swear to god that’s what happened
oh-allie · 2 days
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shakespeare and swooning
alhaitham x g/n reader
synopsis; you read one shakespeare play and now you want to impress your "buddy" alhaitham with your newfound knowledge !! what could go wrong?
fluff, g/n reader, TOTAL CRACKFIC, prick alhaitham, SWEARING, kind of a modern au ???? i mention "ringing tighnari" but that could just be imagined as using the akasha terminal !!!! didnt write this with a modern au in mind
warning ‼️ PLEASE dont expect this to be accurate, if youre a big classic literature fan then dont attack me for not being a NERD ☹️ just imagine a poser using their fancy words (because they think its cool)
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you know how libraries are supposed to be a place of study and tranquility? no the fuck you don't, or at least you don't care, because running through the house of daena with shakespeares, "romeo and juliet," in your hands is NOT very tranquil.
multiple poor akademiya students look at you, PISSED OFF because your shoes are going clu-clonk on the marble floors, which wouldn't be an issue if you weren't scurrying through the library.
is that kaveh ?? he's giving you the same look he gives alhaitham every day ..
... but this is IMPORTANT !! you're on a MISSION right now !! you just finished reading the first act of "romeo and juliet," and you're convinced your brain has expanded tenfold in size.
you're now rushing to your good pal haitham to share your knowledge! how kind and gracious!
you're stopped before his house, you've known him for long enough and gotten close enough for him to let you come in whenever. you know kaveh isn't home, and haitham would never purposefully work overtime, so you're certain you can get his attention and show off in peace.
why are you so adamant about showing off to alhaitham? is it REALLY showing off, or are you trying to, heehee, impress him?? its too late to be flustered at this thought because you already unlocked the door with the spare key kaveh leaves behind one of haithams ugly ass decorative plants and you've taken off your shoes and oh god hes right there and the sunlight from the door is lighting up his face in that way that only happens to him and hes looking at you with a suprised, slightly annoyed, but incredibly fond look and oh no what was your plan again?
"greetings, alhaitham! ☝️🤓" you say, finding a surge of confidence remembering the story you read.
"... hey. what are you doing here?" his response is quick but before you respond he continues, "did you just say greetings?"
"indubidibdibdly! hath you be surprised?" you pretentious hipster. you think youre SO cool, but unfortunately your little crush doesn't seem very impressed either.
"okay, what are you doing? you're being weird." he's not even looking at you, and he's back in his chair before you can rush over and sit on the couch. "is something wrong? should i get tighnari to give you a checkup?"
you'd be touched by the care of the suggestion if he wasn't so cheeky in his tone.
"wha, what, no?! no what the hell- stop ringing tighnari."
"are thou o'er wrought with admiration?" you grin, somehow still under the impression that you sound cool.
he gives an eyebrow raise to that. not bothering to mark his place in his book, he stands up.
"i lie testy in why you act so unpregnant, my dear."
"what"
HUH ? what did bro just say ? testy ???? unpregnant ?? MY DEAR ??? backtrack again, UN-WHAT ??
"be still my beating heart, thou hast taken mine with absolute cunning." is he making fun of you i genuinely can't tell ... its like hes speaking in moon runes right now.
"haitham, heheh, WHAT are you DOING ??" you can't help but laugh at his funny little words, magic man. even if you're clueless to what he just said to you.
"whatever doth thou mean?" he's totally making fun of you !! after ALL your effort to impress him too?
"well, usually i do all the ranting and you sit pretty and listen, so it's weird that you're talking so much, especially like THAT?" fym sit pretty ....
"when words are scarce they are seldom spent in vain." that sounds familiar, but you can't think about it longer before he continues, "shall i compare thee to a summers day?"
"ALRIGHT, i recognize that one, dummy." you laugh, "were you really not impressed by me?" you whisper, the rush of embarrassment you shouldve felt in that library is finally catching up with you.
he stares at you for a second. you just wish you could find out what hes thinking up there, if you could even understand it.
and then he lets you into his mind, with a simple "i love you." as if alhaitham, renowned scribe of the akademiya, top student, couldn't find the words to describe how he felt for you.
or maybe that was what he felt for you. he loved you.
"... you called me unpregnant."
a/n; i read romeo and juliet like... 3 years ago.... so.. uam... 😇😇 totally accurate! hope this crackfic style of writing isnt too niche so this doesnt flop because EMBARRASSING....... do people even like al haitham anymore like guys lets go back to the good old days before the FRENCH came in..... (this is just me projecting cause i havent played genshin in a while and i still lovelove sumeru)
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zouffle · 11 months
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did anyone else watch adventures from the book of virtues as a kid because that show was a fever dream
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play-now-my-lord · 7 months
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serenely remembering the moment when isabel fall published "helicopter story" aka "i sexually identify as an attack helicopter", which instantiated harassment from her clouty new-wave scifi friends that radiated outwards into transmisogynist scifi normies and became so severe she wound up in inpatient. people took up the cause of the story in the name of "free artistic expression" and "speaking difficult truths", which was not incorrect but which was kind of missing the forest for the trees in that specific situation: the age-old game of "kill the baby trans girl out of professional jealousy, farm clout off of doing it". the roles could have been completely reversed - the transmisogynist acquaintances could have been writing edgy outsider lit and could have been encouraging mass harassment against her for being a tenderqueer sellout (i swear to god i have seen this shit too). effect would have been the same.
when trans women in FSF talk about this shit, they usually talk about it from the angles of "censorious tenderqueers tried to kill someone over a story" or, in the most sympathetic voice i've seen out of someone in journalism, "public pressure functionally forced this exciting trans writer back into the closet". but they generally miss the degree to which it was intimate, personal transmisogynist violence, which bled into and intersected with the logics of mob justice, of "community safety" (remember, part of the substance of the accusations was that she was a stealth nazi, which frankly knowing a little about both the accusers and IF herself I can say confidently was not just vacuous but knowingly vacuous, them lying through their teeth), and again, professional jealousy.
i have seen people who crowed the loudest about what got done to IF do it to other people. it's the easiest thing in the world, and it happens all the time, and you can do it whenever you want - try and have some weird tranny rival or inconvenient tranny ex-friend killed - and it engenders no moral stain, no whispers, no reputation. i think they don't even have a conception that they're hypocrites. why would they? nothing that happens to anyone like that is real. human life is cheap if it's in the wrong body. everything they hold is stolen, everything they are is negotiable, for everything they do someone else surely deserves the credit. why not you? don't you deserve it more?
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natswand · 4 months
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you don't have to keep quiet.
pairings natasha romanoff x fem!reader
synopsis wanda finds out you and nat are a lot closer than she thought.
wc 1.1k ish
warnings shower sex, fingering, oral, voyeurism? kinda.
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wanda laced up her shoes, running a hand through her hair. she can't help but think back to training today, back to the odd tension as you and nat glanced at each other. you were a... surprising new addition to the team, one nat didn't object to. that alone was strange, and for nat to be friendly to someone she was ready to kill a couple weeks ago.
"hey kate, do you think-"
a low groan, an oddly sexual one, makes wanda's ears perk up. she slowly turns to look at kate, confused. the brunette has her eyebrows riased, and shakes her head at wanda.
"not me. i thought we were the last ones out of the gym locker rooms."
"yeah, so did i. wait." she points and kate spies a pair of shoes in front of the lockers.
"the new girl."
another groan makes kate flush a but, making wanda put her hands on her hips. the sounds of a shower were faint but audible, and wanda immediately knows what's happening.
"so she's with someone? unless she's by herself, which.." kate shudders a bit and wanda rolls her eyes.
"no, if she's being loud like that, she's gotta be with someone." wanda whispered back. it suddenly hits her they shouldn't be whispering, shouldn't be scared to announce her presence. what has she done wrong? it's not her fault you didn't have the decency to wait.
"i can't believe she's- come on," wanda whispers, frustrated. kate accepts the hand and lets herself be pulled around the lockers, swallowing nervously.
"wanda, maybe- maybe we shouldn't, i mean- do you actually care-"
kate stops as they get closer and more noises are heard, a lot of little ones on quick succession.
"i don't care i just- i kinda want to know. besides, we have to report them to the gym manager or whatever," she hisses, and kate just grimaces, looking away. wanda has her back pressed against the wall, and steels herself. it's unlikely she'll see too much; the showers have dividers and for anything to happen, one person would have to have their back agaisnt the wall, being covered by the other.
she glances around the corner and immediately turns back around, clamping a hand over her mouth. two figures, one still with pants on, the other pressed against the wall by the taller one. the hair colors made them unmistakeable.
"holy fuck." she whispers, and kate presses closer.
"what? who is it?"
"it's nat, with the new girl."
"whoa," kate whispers, scooting closer to the wall. wanda puts a hand on her arm with a confused look. kate shrugs.
"well i wanna see, you know! i mean, now that it's not-cause i didn't wanna accidentally see someone's junk, so like-i-uh-"
a moan cuts her off and the two glance at each other before sliding down the wall, afraid thye'd been heard. an chuckle has kate scooting closer to the edge of the wall, and wanda peeks round it again. nat is, luckily, blocking most of your body with your body with her own. her mouth moves up from your chest to your neck, and wanda watches your muscles tense as teeth scrape your throat. your nails are digging into nat's back, and wanda pulls herself away as she registers where nat's hand is; god, where her fingers must be.
"no one else is here, detka, or at least anyone who would care to interrupt," nat murmers, and wanda's lungs freeze before she remembers it's almost impossible to hear anything from inside the showers when they were on. she couldn't have known. it wouldn't make sense if she thought-
"by that i mean you don't have to be quiet, darling."
a louder groan drags wanda out of her thoughts and she see kate flush at the noise, arms crossed over her stomach. whimpers and muffled curses follow noises that wanda could swear are exaggerated, but she doesn't know anything about nat, or her skills.
"you're normally not so loud. my sweet baby must like the idea of being fucked in public."
"shut up," you hiss, and a grunt from nat makes wanda wonder what you did in retaliation.
"if you're gonna scratch up my back, i'm gonna leave bruises all down your torso, sweetheart," nat responds, and wanda swallows. she can picture the cocky smile on nat's face, the way your probably so agitated by the comments, but probably unwilling to walk away.
"they could be bitemarks, they could be from my grip.."
you suddenly groan, muffled by nat's mouth, and wanda hears your back unstick from the shower wall. she can't help but peek around again, despite kate's tugging on her arm.
"fuck, nat, your rings, cold."
"sorry baby," nat says, and you grunt as she shifts. you grab at the assassin's shoulders and hair as her fingers leave, and you open your eyes. wanda instantly pulls away from the corner, clamping a hand over her mouth. her heart beats wildly, but no shrieks or accusations come flying out of the shower.
"let me just-"
a wet thump follows the statement, and you let out a honest groan of delight. wanda, again, thinks back to the day you two first met, and this was the furthest thing from her mind. she raises her eyebrow and kate covers her mouth as a deep moan escapes your mouth, and something clicks when she hears more soft, wet noises.
"fuck, nat, please! your tongue-"
that's when kate and wanda decide they need to leave. neither of them move at first, but then you curse, somewhat loudly, whimpering afterwards and wanda shakes her head. she grabs kate's arm and they silently trod back to their stuff. wanda shuts the locker as carefully as possible, and kate gestures towards the locker room exit, which wouldn't require them to walk past the showers.
wanda nods and they catch one last, almost pornagraphic moan from you before they slip out.
✭・۪ ⊹ ֗✭・۪ ⊹ ֗✭・۪ ⊹ ֗✭・۪ ⊹ ֗✭・۪ ⊹ ֗✭・۪ ⊹ ֗✭・۪ ⊹ ֗✭・۪ ⊹ ֗✭・۪ ⊹ ֗✭・۪ ⊹ ֗
you breathe heavily, clinging to nat's back as she stands again.
"did you have to do that with them here? you couldn't wait until they left?"
nat smirks and kisses you, keeping her girl pressed against the wall.
"well, you know. you looked so scandilized by the thought of being caught, not to mention your hair being up like that, makes you look stunning. and i knew they wouldn't actually interrupt us. bishop is too scared of me and maximoff just wouldn't want to get involved."
you just roll your eyes, pulling her closer and kissing her languidly.
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spacebarbarianweird · 5 months
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Astarion x f!Tav pregnancy headcanons
@treshmind @chillingintheunderdark @azu21 @rachelle-on-the-run
Masterlist
Headcanons
Ok, it turned out to be much longer than I expected. And very angsty
None of you have any idea it was possible to get pregnant
Astarion is a vampire. He definitely "shoots blanks."
The ability to knock someone up was taken away from him along with his life many years ago.
Until one day, you feel weird. Sick, exhausted.
It's not like you pay too much attention to your monthly bleeding (what's the point anyway?"), but you notice it's been a while
And Astarion, after feeding on you, says your blood tastes different. Not bad, not weird. Just different.
And the scent isn't like it was before.
You are terrified you've caught one of these magical sicknesses or curses no one knows how to cure.
You go to the healer, who gives you a herbal drink, saying, "Take this; it's good for the child, and don't bother me until you feel something is off."
And you stay in the healer's hut, shocked, trying to understand what kind of child he is fucking talking about?
Until you realize.
You remember the night half a month ago, when a group of thugs attacked the village where you and Astarion live together.
Astarion returned from the woods drunk with sentient creatures' blood, his eyes glowing red and his skin blazing hot.
He just swept you away from your feet, dragged inside, stripped you of your light armor, and pinned you to the bed until the next sunset.
It was not the first time he was that "blood drunk," - but it was the first time it happened one of the days you could possibly conceive.
It's just a coincidence. The coincidence you carry inside your womb.
You return home, scared and shivering. By the time Astarion notices you are back, you are already crying.
You have no fucking idea how to be a mother. You have no fucking idea how to raise a child. What are you carrying within?
A person? A monstrosity? Your own death?
What creatures are born from vampires?
Astarion is no less shocked.
He pulls away from you, grabbing a fistful of his hair, and swears in Elven.
The healer may be wrong. You can't get pregnant.
And now you feel even more uneasy - what if you were assaulted?Do you have any memory gaps? What if someone used you?
Astarion leaves at sunset, and you stay alone with your fears
He returns in the morning, calm and quiet. Noticing you are still on your feet, he carries you to bed and asks to sleep while he "figures something out."
When you wake up in the late evening, Astarion has a sudden mood change
He is happy. He smiles. He pulls you to himself, placing a hand on your flat belly.
Then you notice a stack of books.
Dhampirs. Children of mortals and vampires. With insanely long lifespans, immunity for vampirism, and living beating hearts.
"You see. That's what we are going to have".
You slowly start adapting to your new condition,
The child grows fast, and your body changes. Breasts get a bit bigger, and you can't wear your light armor anymore (it is suddenly too small). You are constantly tired and hungry.
Even the most innocent teases from Astarion make you cry - and he panics every time it happens.
He has no idea how to handle a pregnant woman.
You quarrel. Constantly. Because you are both scared to death.
What is worse, Astarion has a serious regress. There are nightmares and self-harm tendencies. He runs away to the woods or the Underdark tunnels at least once a week, and you lash at him for leaving you alone every time he gets back.
Besides, it's his fault he didn't stop drinking blood that night
You have nightmares, too.
You envision a monster growing within you that will gnaw through your flesh any time soon.
And yes, women die in childbirth. Even if before that, they'd challenged the fucking gods!
One day, Astarion puts his head on your belly
He caresses it and whispers something in Elven.
"I hear the heartbeat," he says, eyes teary. "I hear our child's heartbeat!"
From that moment, everything changes,
He no longer goes away. He helps you bathe and dress. Brings everything you ask for and ensure you are comfortable sitting and walking. He prepares the place for the child (ignoring a very rational fear that either you or the child dies)
And he sews. He makes the set of clothes for the newborn, embroidering it with protective Elven runes.
Sometimes you both relax enough to discuss the future.
The day of birth comes much earlier than you expect. Almost a month earlier.
The midwife, perfectly knowing the father's nature, pushed Astarion out of the room.
And he spends a few hours helpless and desperate, hearing your cries of pain. If it was the night, he could at least go outside, but, as it happens, it's a sunny day.
He hates himself for doing this to you.
And as for you, you had no idea it could be so painful.
Finally, Astarion has enough and returns to you, kneeling beside the bed
The moment you see him, you grasp his hand as if you are drowning
And then it's all over.
A squeal, desperate and angry, rings out through the room, and you see a newborn in the midwife's hands.
A tiny girl with long pointy ears is placed in your hands. Not a monster. She isn't deformed. Just a baby. Who is very angry with the fact she's been pushed out from the warm womb to this cruel and unpredictable world.
Astarion can't believe what exactly he sees.
He has a child. He has a daughter. The most normal thing anyone can think of is now a reality for him, someone who once had to get out of his own grave.
Then you give the newborn girl to Astarion, and the moment he takes her, he bursts into tears, pressing the child against his chest.
The girl doesn't cry anymore, piercing Astarion with her dark eyes.
You, still tired and in pain, drink the healing potion left by the midwife and you look up at Astarion.
He notices your gaze and kisses you.
"My love, thank you. This is a gift", he whispers through the tears.
--
Tag list:
@tragedybunny @caitlincat-95 @tallymonster @astarionsbeloved @lumienyx @fayeriess @aoirohi @elora-the-slutty-songstress @veillsar @astarion-imagine-archive @micropoe10 @starlight-ipomoea @herstxrgirl @theearthsfinalconfession @ashrio20 @not-so-lost-after-all @vixstarria
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simpforboys · 1 year
Text
you’ve bewitched me
xavier thorpe x fem!reader
summary: xavier takes your virginity.
warnings: smut!! loss of virginity, unprotected piv, soft!xavier, he’s a fat simp, fluffy smut, best friends to lovers, oral (f and m receiving), swearing
based on this !!!
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the way you couldn’t get out of xavier’s head was driving him insane. he never knew he could need crave someone so bad. 
he remembered the moment so vividly. 
you two were walking in the rain as he held the umbrella for the both of you. you didn’t remember exactly how the topic came up, but you and your best friend had started talking about sexual experiences. 
“a gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.” xavier joked you rolled your eyes and nudged his shoulder, making the both of you laugh. 
“just tell me,” you groaned. 
“fine. bianca wanted me to eat her out once. things escalated from there and we ended up fucking.” xavier confessed, keeping his eyes down. 
your gasp made him jump. “damn... my best friend gets hella pussy then.” you joked as he sarcastically rolled his eyes, face blushing in embarrassment. 
“now what have you done?” xavier asked you. 
you pursed your lips together. the sound of the rain falling with leaves crunching filled the silence. 
“go on,” xavier said. your silence was making him nervous. 
“i’m a uh, a virgin.” 
xavier bit the inside of his cheek while nodding at you. 
‘thanks for the silence, asshole.” you said jokingly, trying to ignore the way your face felt hot. 
xavier was trying to ignore the blood rushing to his pants. 
xavier had been in love with you for years. he’d dated other girls to try and get over you, but they never ended up being you. 
but ever since your confession, he couldn’t help but want you even more. the amount of nights he’d spent jerking off to a vision of you in his head, the way he would do absolutely anything for you. 
xavier was so lost in thought he didn’t even notice his phone dinging. the only thing that snapped him out of his daydreams was a knock on the door to his room. 
 he opened the door to see you standing there, eyes wide and anxious. 
“why haven’t you been answering your phone?” you asked him. you pushed past your best friend as he confusedly shut and locked the door behind you. 
“busy thinking. what’s wrong?” he questioned. 
“you know that siren boy, kent?”
xavier nodded, eyebrows furrowed tightly together in hesitation. 
“he asked me to come to his dorm to do... things.” you said in embarrassment. 
xavier bit his tongue so hard he didn’t even realize it was bleeding slightly. 
“what things, y/n?” 
“he asked me to give him a blow job.” you confessed quietly, sitting on xavier’s bed as his tall frame stood in front of you. he was wearing grey sweatpants with a red shirt on, his hair damp from a shower. 
the pang of jealousy that shot through xavier felt almost like a stab in the gut. 
“so why are you here then?” xavier asked, trying to keep his cool. 
“i need, uh, never mind. it was stupid for me to come here.”
“answer me, y/n.” 
“i’m scared, okay? i’ve never done anything like that before and i guess i just wanted... i don’t know... lessons?” 
xavier’s heartrate spiked tremendously. oh my god. 
“i’m sorry-” you began but xavier cut you off. 
“i mean, i can definitely help.” 
“really?” you questioned, staring straight up at him. your stomach hurt from anxiety and you swore you’d never noticed how gorgeous your best friend was until he looked at you with such lust in his eyes. 
“is this okay?” he whispered, leaning down as his left hand moved to cup your jaw. you nodded against his hand as he kissed you. 
you kissed back, the feeling weird. it felt like electricity was connecting your lips together, an addictive feeling. neither of you could get enough of it. 
xavier moved to lie you down on the bed, his lips not leaving yours. 
your own hands pulled his waist close to you, feeling his hard cock on your thigh. holy fuck, this is happening. 
“are you sure you want this?” xavier mumbled against your neck.
“mmm please, yes,” you gasped as you felt him suck a hicky.
he stopped momentarily to remove his shirt. his heart was racing as you also removed yours. he’d never seen you in a bra before and the look of your tits made him start to drool.
the way he stared at you made you feel incredibly nervous and as you tried to cover yourself up, he began sucking hickies along your boobs.
“xavier,” you whimpered. xavier swore that was the hottest thing he’s ever heard in his entire life.
“you’re so pretty, y/n.” xavier told you as his big hands removed your sweatpants and panties.
you undid your bra and suddenly realized how vulnerable and exposed you were. but yet, xavier made you feel safe.
you watched as his head went between your already shaking thighs and sucked teasingly close to your cunt.
“holy fuck!” you accidentally yelped as his tongue came in contact with your clit.
you felt him smirking against your pussy as he ate it like it was his last meal. your back arched as you gripped his hair.
the feeling of having your pussy getting eaten by your best friend was euphoric and you were on cloud 9.
“that feel good, y/n?” xavier hummed.
“so good, please don’t stop,” you begged.
the new pleasure was too much. you were a shuttering mess as he continued to suck your clit, two fingers stretching out your soaking wet pussy.
“i’m already gonna cum-“ you moaned.
“cum for me, y/n.” xavier’s pride was beaming as he watched you squirm for him. he was so fucking hard for you.
your body trembled as your orgasm hit you like a truck. your breathing was heavy and your skin was damp with sweat. 
xavier moved to sit back. 
“do you still wanna learn about that blowjob?” he asked after you calmed down from your high. you nodded as you got on your knees in front of xavier. 
your heart continued to pound. you shakily gripped his hard cock. xavier immediately noticed your nerves. 
“what’s wrong?” he questioned, worry written all over his face. 
“i don’t really know what i’m doing.” you let out a breathy laugh. xavier smiled from your confession, leaning down to kiss you. 
“i’ll help you. start by licking the tip.” 
you followed your best friend’s instruction. you began to lightly lick the tip of his leaking cock and felt him shudder against you. 
“fuck- now try sucking the head and jerk me off in your hand.”
you brought the head into your mouth and hollowed your cheeks. your right hand began to jerk the base of his cock, feeling xavier’s own hand come up to hold your hair back. 
“good girl. holy shit-” xavier whimpered. 
the sight laid out in front of you was engraved permanently in your brain. xavier, your best friend, with his head leaned back as you sucked his dick. he looked like a fucking god and you knew there was no going back from this. 
you started to gradually suck further down until you felt his dick twitch in your mouth. fighting the gag, you desperately focused on trying to get him to cum in your mouth. 
“so, so, so good for me, y/n.” 
tears formed in your eyes as you gagged on his cock. hearing xavier whimper  your name with praises almost made you cum again. 
“i’m so fucking close, if you don’t wanna swallow it then- oh shit.” xavier spurted hot cum into your mouth. the liquid tasted salty but not in a bad way. 
now it was xavier’s turn for his breathing to be jagged. you stood back up, your naked body in all its glory. you laid down on his twin size bed, his eyes following yours as you spread your legs. 
“please take my virginity, xavier. please.” you begged. 
xavier’s whole body was overwhelmed with ecstasy. “i don’t have a condom.” he breathed out, his body now hovering over yours. 
“i don’t fucking care- i need you so bad.” 
xavier kissed your lips again. you held his hand as he rubbed his tip and down your cunt. “tell me if you need me to stop.”
with that, he slowly pushed in. your pussy was so wet it was almost went in with one motion. he went all the way in slowly, watching your face for any sort of discomfort. 
“oh my god-” he whispered. your pussy felt amazing on his hard cock and all he wanted to do was fuck you. but this was about you. and he didn’t want to ruin this intimate moment for you. 
“you okay?” he whispered against your neck. 
“it feels weird.” you mumbled back. you felt stuffed, yet so needy. 
“can you please move?” you asked. 
xavier started to slowly move his hips in and out. his hair fell in front of his face. 
“fuck-” you moaned. 
his hand came down and rubbed circles against your clit. your body felt extremely hot from the overwhelming amount of pleasure it was receiving. 
“you feel so good. my good girl, right?” he asked, eyes looking directly into yours. 
you nodded quickly. “i’m all yours, xavier.” 
he continued to fuck your cunt. the only thing that was heard was the sound of skin slapping skin, both of your moans, and the bed squeaking. 
“i’m gonna cum again, xavier.” you announced. 
“me too,” he mumbled. the pleasure was becoming too much for him as your pussy clenched against him.
“holy fuck- shit.” your second orgasm overcame your body. xavier kept his finger on your clit, fucking you through your orgasm. when he felt his own, he quickly pulled out and jerked the tip of his cock. warm cum spurted out onto your stomach and his hips bucked against his hand. 
he plopped down next to you, both breathing heavily and tired. the temperature of the room was very hot and humid. 
after a couple moments of silence, xavier whispered, “i love you, y/n. not in a friend way. i want to be more then friends.”
“i love you too, xavier. i want to be more then friends.” 
xavier leaned up on his elbow, looking down happily at your face. 
“let me take you out tomorrow?” 
“it’s a date.”
xavier and you both smiled as he leaned down and kissed you once again. 
“also, fuck kent. i’ll tell him to go fuck himself.” 
you laughed at xavier’s attitude. 
“if it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t have been here.” you murmured, drawing circles on xavier’s chest. 
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myysaints · 1 year
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𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐮𝐩 — x. thorpe
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XAVIER THORPE x f!reader
⌗︙・ summary — xavier’s into you. like into into you. but unfortunately, you aren’t quite on the same page.
contains — miscommunication, slight slight angst, fluff ending, pining from both ends... just dumb idiots unknowingly in love with each other <3
notes — i am so obsessed with this man and this gif you don't understand. also, requests are open!
You’re tired.
It’s been an exhausting past few weeks; Between helping Wednesday with her investigations, worrying about being a victim of untimely death yourself, and on top of all that, keeping up with your academics, you’ve hardly had the time to even so much as think about Rave’N.
“Wait, what do you mean you don’t have a date?!”
You shrug at Enid, who gapes at you in askance. “I just don’t. Really, Enid, it’s not that big of a deal.”
It’s a Saturday, and you, Wednesday, Enid, and Xavier are seated on a grassy patch - A brief respite from the flurry of school.
“I mean, it’s only one of the most important social events of like, the century!” Enid exclaims.
From beside you, Xavier snorts. “C’mon, Enid, it’s not that big of a deal.”
He turns to you now, eyebrows raised. “Though i am surprised that no one’s asked you out yet.”
Unbeknownst to you, satisfaction bubbles in the long haired boy’s heart. It's not that he’s happy nobody has asked you to the dance - It’s just that it means he still can.
But your nonchalant reply sends his heart racing. “I never said I didn’t get asked out. I just said no.”
Shit. Xavier frowns, avoiding your gaze. So people have asked you out. Of course, what was he thinking? You’re only the most beautiful girl in Nevermore. How could he even delude himself into thinking you didn’t have boys falling at your feet?
Of course, you’d turn him down too. Why wouldn’t you? You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re kind, you’re gorgeous… and him? Well, he’s just there. By your side.
Your best friend.
What would happen if you said no to him, like all those other guys? There’s no way your friendship could recover from that, no, not at all.
The only thing worse than not being your boyfriend was not being your friend at all.
“-I mean, I don’t… I don’t even know what to say!”
Xavier blinks, snapping out of his daze. He sees Enid shaking her head, at an utter loss for words as she says, “You turned down… all those guys? Why?!”
All you do is shrug, and Xavier swears you glance his way before replying, “I guess… I guess I’m just waiting for the right guy to ask.”
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You don’t see Xavier much after that.
If you’re being honest, you're a little disappointed. It’s only five days to Rave’N, and you still don’t have a date. Not that it matters much; After all, you’re perfectly content going on your own. It’s just…
Well, you were hoping a certain long haired artist would ask you to accompany him. But you’re quickly realising that that wish was going to stay that way - Just a wish.
A hopeless, desperate wish.
You curse under your breath as you leave yet another class without speaking to Xavier. It’s almost as if he’s been intentionally avoiding you, though for what reason, you haven’t the faintest clue.
Did you do something wrong? Was it something you said? Something you wore?
Come to think of it, he’s been distant ever since Saturday. Saturday. What happened on Saturday? God, all you can remember is that picnic with Enid and Wednesday, talking about the Rave’N, and… and…
God, what is it?!
You have half a mind to walk over to his dorm and demand for him to open up, but what good would that do? Xavier’s made it abundantly clear that he has no interest in conversing with you, so why should you be the one putting in all the effort when he-
“Y/N!”
Speak of the Devil and he shall appear.
You turn, forcing an unimpressed look on your face despite the fact that your heart is beating a mile per minute.
To your surprise, Xavier looks nervous. Perhaps the most nervous you’ve ever see him - You don’t even think he was this anxious at the Poe Cup. He’s holding something behind his back, you note. Something pink. And green.
You eye him warily. “Xavier, what is it?”
He walks up to you, hands still clasped firmly behind him. “Look, I… Fuck, this is harder than I thought it was gonna be-”
You feel a sinking pit of dread in your stomach. Your head spins, and your voice cracks as you stutter, “Xavier, are you… Are you friendship breaking up with me right now?”
His eyes widen, almost comically so, and he’s frantically shaking his head. “What?! No, no, of course not!”
He tugs his hand through his hair haphazardly, one hand letting go of whatever he’s holding. You must be dreaming, because you think you see a pink petal float to the ground.
…Flowers?
You don’t mean for your voice to be so wobbly, but it is, as you say, “Xavier, I don’t… I don’t understand. You ignore me for days - No texts, no calls, nothing. You wouldn’t even look at me in the hallways! And now all of a sudden, you’re here… with flowers?”
He blinks, glancing down to the small pile of petals that have fallen off, and groans.
“Fuck,” he mutters lowly. “God, this is not how it was supposed to go-”
“hHw was what supposed to go?” you ask, perplexed.
“God, I knew this wasn’t a good idea, I knew it, I-”
“Xavier!” you exclaim, your heart lurching in confusion and exasperation and everything in between. “What is going on?!”
“I like you!”
And everything stops.
“I like you, Y/N, I like you so much it… it hurts, okay? And I wanted to ask you to the Rave’N with me, that’s what all these… The flowers, this whole thing was about. I just couldn’t stand being around you and knowing that you don’t have a date to the Rave’N ‘cause it - shit - it drove me crazy. But it was stupid, I get it, it was stupid of me to do this, and I understand if you wanna pretend like this never happened, but I just need you to know that I love y-!”
Your lips are on him before he can even finish his sentence. It feels like everything’s on fire; His hands are on your hips, and then they're moving around your waist, and you’re being lifted off your tiptoes, and he’s kissing you back, and it’s-
Xavier is breathing hard when you break away, his face flushed.
You smile, and he bites his lip, looking at you bashfully. “So... Is that a yes?”
You laugh, nodding as you thread your fingers in his. You blush when he raises your linked hands to press a kiss your knuckles.
“Yes, Xavier,” you mumble out, feeling him smile in between kisses. “A thousand times, yes.”
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cottonlemonade · 2 months
Text
Six And A Half Minutes
word count: 1608 || avg. reading time: 7 mins. (ironically)
pairing: University!AU Suna x chubby!Reader
genre: Smutty McSmutterson, teasing, nipple play, friends to lovers (?)
warnings: mdni, nsfw, swearing, mentions of insecurities
synopsis: you haven‘t had sex in a while and your best friend offers to help out
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“Don’t.“
“I wasn’t doing anything.“
“I know that look. Don’t call him.“
Rintarou had just stepped out of his bathroom back to the living room to find you staring at your phone, biting your nails in thought.
“I doubt he‘s even up, it‘s almost 2am.“
“Good, then put the phone away.“
“Ha, bit rich coming from you.“
He confiscated the device of temptation, ignoring the pout that followed.
“Yer gettin’ this back when I know yer gonna behave.“ He shook his head, flicking some access water from his hair into your face - like spraying a misbehaving puppy with a water bottle.
You turned back to the TV, sinking deeper into the collar of your PJs.
Exams were finally over and to celebrate you had planned a movie marathon with your best friend. Since the news predicted a nasty storm tonight you both decided you would spend the night on his couch.
“Why call the bastard anyways?“
You shrugged, not looking at him.
“Booty call? Christ, y/n, can‘t ya just watch porn like the rest of us?“
“Eh, nothing‘s been doing it for me lately. I was so annoyed by the breakup and exhausted from studying that it‘s been well over a month since I-“, you stopped when you realized what you were saying.
He grinned. “Ya know, if you need it that badly, I‘ll step up.“
“Oh, you brave soul. I‘m good.“, you scoffed.
“Ya were just about to call a lyin‘, cheatin‘ jerk and somehow my offer is ridiculous?“
“Don‘t take this the wrong way, but I don‘t wanna fuck my best friend and I highly doubt you want that either.“
Rintarou bit back a remark, then sighed and said, “We don‘t have to have sex to make ya feel good, ya know.“
“What are you gonna do? Stare me to orgasm?“
You finally managed to look at him - he didn’t seem to be joking.
“Nah, but I‘ve been told I‘m pretty good with my hands. And mouth.“
“What are you even saying right now? I don‘t want you anywhere near…“, you vaguely gestured to your lap.
“Alright then. Bet I can make ya cum by just playin‘ with yer boobs.“
“Oh my god, you‘re serious.“
“Well yeah, thanks for noticin‘.“
You chewed your bottom lip in thought.
“What happens if you manage to make me cum?“, you asked in a small voice.
He shrugged. “Then ya owe me one.“
The offer did sound exciting and you’d be lying if you said he had never crossed your mind during intimate moments you had with yourself. But this was insane! So many things could go wrong with this. What if things would turn weird afterwards and you‘d lose him as a friend?
“If it’s too weird like this we can set a timer or somethin‘.”, he suggested, as always reading your thoughts right off your face.
“Alright… how long… do you think you need? A minute?”
“One minute?! Are ya kidding? I’m good, but not that good!”
You laughed nervously. “Fine. 3 minutes?”
“10.”
“10?! No! That’s too long.”
“Fine, 8.”
“How about 5?”
“7.”
“What are you doing?”
“Just keepin’ it realistic. 5 isn’t enough.”
“You can do it in 5.”, you said, trying to add a light encouraging tone as a joke.
He didn’t budge. “7.”
“Why 7?”
“Cause 7 minutes in heaven.”
He grinned again.
“I remember those seven minutes always being very long and awkward. 6.”
“7.”
“This is not how this compromising thing works!”
“Hey, yer the one who wants to get off.”
“Fine…” you say, feeling heat creeping into your cheeks, “6 and a half.”
“For fuck sake. Fine six and a half. But don’t complain if ya don’t cum.”
Your ears were ringing from his bluntness and you rubbed your legs together, trying to covertly get some friction.
He muted the TV and scooched closer, nodding towards your top.
You were pretty sure your whole face was bright red at this point.
“Ya gotta lift yer shirt for me or take it off, whatever ya prefer.“
The insecurities came flooding in. Sitting was not the sexiest pose you had to offer. Your belly fat rolled and bunched, then there were the stretchmarks clawing at your skin, plus you knew you had a terrible posture, making you sit like the hunchback of Notre Dame. You squeezed your eyes shut tightly and took a deep breath, slowly lifting the hem.
“Wait.“, he suddenly said and got up, hurrying out of the room.
Your shoulders sagged. Didn‘t take much for him to run for the hills. You wanted to bury your face in your hands but a few moments later he was already back, a tie in his hand.
“W-what are you doing?“, you stammered.
“Well, ya looked super uncomfortable so I figured a blindfold might help. I don‘t have a proper one so I guess my old uniform tie has to do.“
That was… surprisingly thoughtful and sweet. You smiled and relaxed a bit.
With his help you used the red tie to cover your eyes. He made sure your hair wasn‘t caught anywhere and the knot wasn‘t too tight.
“Lay back.“, he said simply. You swallowed and slowly lowered yourself until your head touched the armrest.
“Ya comfy now?“
You nodded.
“Alright.“
You heard him tapping on his phone. “Timer’s set, lift yer shirt.“
Feeling a little more confident now, you did as he told you.
The complete darkness provided by the makeshift blindfold helped a lot and the cold breeze from his aircon brushed gently over your exposed skin.
If your nipples hadn‘t already been hard from the whole conversation before, they were now.
You heard him curse, then shift on the couch. You waited in your own private darkness. The only sound was the quiet whirring of the air con.
And then your bra was pulled down and his hands were on your breasts, caressing, just on the sides at first. A gasp dropped from your lips and you shivered, arching your back into the touch.
Rintarou‘s mouth was dry. He couldn‘t believe this was real. Your skin was so much softer than he had imagined. With calloused fingers he brushed over your flesh, just teasing at first, so very pleased when, with another shudder, goosebumps started to appear on your skin. Your nipples looked so fucking tempting but he wanted to build to it. Not like he had a lot of time, but he needed to savor this. When he finally cupped your breasts he had to bite his lips to stop a new stream of curses. Pillowy and inviting he wanted nothing more than to rest his head and fall asleep. Or push his painfully hard cock between them.
He was already two minutes down. Shit.
He loved how sensitive you were to every squeeze, every brush. You really hadn‘t had any release in weeks, huh. Fuck, he wanted you. He licked his lips and lowered his head. Holding your breasts in both hands he drew circles with the tip of his tongue around your nipples.
And you moaned. Sending lust filled surges straight to his cock. He felt the twitch in his sweats. He needed you to do that again.
He moved to the other nipple, making sure to flick the abandoned one with his finger. You started to squirm and he was rewarded with another moan.
More. More. He closed his lips around you, sucking gently, swirling his tongue around the perfect little pebble in his mouth.
Oh, he was addicted to you. There was nothing else but you. He let your nipple go, only to set kisses to your skin and blow on your little pearls, wet from his saliva.
“Fuck, Rintarou…“
He was getting dizzy, his movements became needier and it took all of his remaining focus to not start rutting his stiff cock against your plush thighs.
Your whimpers and sighs were almost non-stop now and he just openly groaned with your perfect tits in his mouth now, the vibrations tickling your nipples.
Where had the time gone? When he glanced over at his phone, he only had a minute left.
He nibbled at your breasts, sucking deep red marks into the flesh. His hands, so careful and gentle at first, now became groping and he moaned loudly when his cock made accidental contact with your leg. He was not above humping you like a dog but he really needed you to cum first.
“Oh God, yes… Yes, nngh, Rintarou, fuck…“
Shit, were you close? He pinched your nipples, then let them plop out of his mouth before really latching on like his life depended on it.
Cum for me, he thought. Please.
You raised your hand and he almost came right there himself, when your fingers ran through his hair, pulling him closer to you.
“Fuck, y/n, cum for me.“, he whispered against your skin, “Ya can do it. Cum for me, baby.“
And the timer went off.
Startled by the noise you shot up, removing the blindfold.
The brightness of the lights left you disoriented for a moment. Rintarou sat before you, out of breath, flushed, disheveled. You had never seen this kind of hunger in his eyes. You felt embarrassed, fixing your bra over your slick covered breasts and lowering the hem of your shirt.
You still felt him on your skin. Why did you stop him? Maybe he would have continued, if you hadn‘t. Shit, you were so close.
While trying to avoid his eyes, your gaze landed on his sweats and the rather sizable imprint of his cock pushing against the fabric.
He didn‘t hide it. He knew you saw it. And he was waiting for your next move.
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a/n: part 2
@nyctophilicroses - covertly slides over another Suna smut fic with chubby reader
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wrestlingwithlife · 10 months
Text
COD Incorrect Quotes With Our Lovely Y/n
Warning gets a little spicy towards the end ;)
Price: Well, should I be worried?
Y/n: Not yet.
Price:
Y/n:
*loud explosion*
Y/n: Now you can worry
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Y/n: No, I don't want to talk about physics! I don't know anything about the laws of physics because they are hard and boring. I simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! Is that really asking too much?
Gaz: Yes, as a matter of fact, it is!
Y/n: Well, guess what? Science is stupid bullshit!!
Gaz: You take that back!!!
Y/n: No. Magic is awesome. Science blows. The end.
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Y/n: What are you doing here?
Soap: I could ask you the same question.
Y/n: I live here. This is my room.
Soap: I should probably ask you a different question.
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Y/n: I just heard Ghost call the dog a “fucking liar” because he barked like someone was at the door and no one was there.
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Price: I am going to need you to swear-
Y/n: Fuck.
Price:
Price: ...swear as in promise.
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Price: *shatters a window and climbs through it*
Price: *turns around and helps Y/n through it* Breaking and entering is wrong Y/n
Y/n: Okay.
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Ghost: You read my diary?
Y/n: At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.
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Y/n: I like your new pants!
Price: Thanks, they were 50% off!
Y/n: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*
Price: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.
Y/n: Thats’s… not what I meant.
Price: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Y/n.
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Y/n: The real treasure was the memories we made along the way.
Graves: I almost died.
Y/n: That... was my favorite memory.
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Soap: You look good in that hoodie.
Y/n: You know where else I'd look good?
Soap, zero hesitation: My bed.
Y/n, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?
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Ghost: This bloodline ends with me.
Y/n: That's the fanciest way I've ever heard someone say "I'm gay".
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Y/n: Gaz, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?
Gaz, naked in Y/n's bed: No, I absolutely do not.
Y/n, already taking off his clothes: Fuck... Me neither.
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Price: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?
Y/n: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?
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Y/n: Well, Ghost and I finally did it!
The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*
Y/n: That's right... We kissed!
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Y/n: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?
Gaz: Nope, there's 26.
Y/n: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.
Gaz: Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.
Y/n: You'll get the D later ;).
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Y/n: What are you in the mood for?
Ghost: World domination.
Y/n: That's a bit ambitious.
Ghost: You are my world.
Y/n: Aww...
Ghost:
Y/n:
Ghost:
Y/n: OH.
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Price: Know why I called you in here?
Y/n: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.
Price: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?
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Soap: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles.
Y/n: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one?
Soap: Seize the dick.
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Hopefully these helped quench you guy’s hunger whilst I work on my next post.
- Author~Chan out ✌️
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pepsiconcoction · 10 months
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beside you | han jisung x reader
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pairing: han jisung x gn!reader
tags: angst with good ending, that's it i think
an: this is based off of this request, sorry it's so short!
wc: 695
A week. It’s now been a whole week since you’ve directly spoken to each other. With both of you being so stubborn to admit that either side was wrong, this was inevitable. You and Jisung had argued over something -not that either of you could remember what it was- and were now giving each other the silent treatment. To the outside it looked hilarious, the two of you living together, in the same apartment, sleeping in the same bed, and cooking meals for each other, but in silence. You’re mainly surprised that either of you could stay quiet for this long.
It all came to a final boiling point one night when you were kept for an extra hour at work. Usually, you would’ve texted Jisung to let him know you’d be home late but with the way things were going, you hadn’t. You hadn’t even checked your phone after you finished the shift, too tired to bother checking, so you’re caught off guard when you’re met with Jisung immediately at the front door.
“Where have you been?” he asks in a rush.
“At work?” you’re tone, confused. You watch as his shoulders relax and he lets out a long sigh.
“Why didn’t you respond to my texts? My calls?” His eyes are still looking you over, checking everything is still in place.
“Oh, my phone’s in my bag, I was just so tired when I left, I didn’t bother.”
“I know we’re doing the whole ‘silent treatment’ thing, but can you at least tell me if you’re working late? I was about to call the police I swear…” he trails off, rubbing his forehead. You catch him off guard by snorting a laugh. His eyes snap back towards you.
“Seriously, you’re laughing? What if something were to happen to you, huh? You could’ve gotten hurt! Or went missing, or died or something! And I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if something bad happened to you.” his rambling speeds up and you think you can see his eyes watering slightly.
“Especially with how we’ve been this past week! What if you had died thinking I was mad at you?”
“Jisung.” You try but are immediately cut off.
“God knows you would have haunted me because of it, that’s how you get a poltergeist, you know.” He’s now pointing a finger at you. You grab the hand that’s reaching towards you and the contact seems to shut him up.
“Jisung, look at me. I’m here, completely fine,” you say gently. And that’s when the dam breaks. Tears spill from his eyes and he immediately melts into your arms, you catch him easily. He is mumbling all sorts of things: apologies, pleas, more apologies. 
“Please don’t leave me. It’s okay if you’re still mad, just please don’t leave.” He heaves out. Your shirt is now a little damp, but you barely notice.
“Wait, baby, you thought I’d leave?” You ask him.
“Well, when you didn’t come back…” You look into his glossy eyes and feel your heart shatter into a million pieces. You immediately pull him into your chest, pulling him in as tightly as you could.
“Ji, I’m so sorry I worried you. I promise I would never leave like that, I’m not going anywhere, baby,” you talk into his hair. You stand in the entryway for a few minutes, soothing him gently, encouraging the tears to stop. He sniffles one last time and you use the sleeve of your sweater to dab his round cheeks dry. 
“I’ve missed you.” You brush your fingers through his hair.
“I didn’t go anywhere.” he attempts a smile.
“Yeah, but I didn’t get to talk to you for a whole week,” you respond, attempting to lighten the mood.
“It was so hard, I have so many things to tell you.” he chuckles.
“How about we get all cuddled up in bed and you can tell me everything?” You ask.
“That sounds perfect.”
It isn’t until a few hours later that the argument was brought up again, and the both of you end up laughing, because you were right, neither of you could remember what it was about.
taglist (lmk if you want added!): @lethallyprotected @lieslab
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miraclewoozi · 5 months
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DRIVE. - l.c
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DRIVE -- or, the night you realise it's actually very hard to stay mad at the guy who shows up at your house, throwing stones at your window on a Thursday night, to try and fix something that was your mistake in the first place.
pairing : chan x fem reader. content : fwb > lovers. angst, smut (MINORS DO NOT HAVE MY CONSENT TO INTERACT), fluff. more or less in that order. they’re both dumb as hell. not explicitly put in any detail but this was written with a more 70s vibe in mind so feel free to bear that in mind when thinking of the car/tech/styles etc if u like. w/c : 7.8k warnings : lots of swearing. it’s all a big fuckin misunderstanding because i am a whore for that. weed & alcohol mentioned (neither party is drunk or high at the time of this taking place). mentions of past cheating (neither mc or chan are the cheater). some pov switching because i said so. let me know if i've forgotten anything. proofread exactly once so if there's a typo, no there isn't. SMUT TAGS UTC.  notes : dino. get the fuck off my ass. i’m so serious i am not strong enough to handle the very real feelings i have for you. go away.  notes 2.0 : i listened to halsey’s drive for some inspo for this & took that as the title, so feel free to give it a listen if you want!
SMUT TAGS : dom!chan. car fuckin', making out, hair pulling, grinding/dry humping, fingering, finger sucking, dick riding, marking/scratching, unprotected sex (make good choices), overstimulation, multiple orgasms. praise. chan calls reader ‘baby’ & ‘sweetheart’. he’s a BIG talker during sex (sorry).
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You’re not stupid. You heard his car pull up outside your house almost an hour ago. 
Since then, at random intervals ranging anywhere between thirty seconds and five minutes, there have been clinks of a thrown stone at your bedroom window, a piece of the gravel that lines your driveway. Each time, it makes your jaw tense, makes your fingers tighten in the bedsheets you pulled all the way up to your chin in a foul mood at 8pm. It’s been the same now for almost two weeks — you’ve been getting home from work, showering the day away, eating your dinner and retiring to your room as early as you possibly can. Your roommate tried to find out what was wrong around day three but you very promptly shut her down — she’s since learned that the best she’s getting out of you currently is a dismissive wave of your hand or some kind of a grunt. She joked one evening that it was like she’d adopted a teenager; you scowled so violently that she went to her room. 
Hardly any of your other friends have seen anything of you, either, despite the fact that several have come knocking to check if you’re all right. 
You’re very much not all right, as it happens. This is perhaps the most upset you’ve ever felt, and that’s going quite some way. The angriest, too. It’s worse than when that middle aged woman threw her entire bucket of popcorn at your head when you gave her salty instead of sweet, and you were picking kernels out of your hair for the rest of your six hour shift. It’s worse than when your nasty supervisor ‘forgot’ you were in the bathroom and ended up locking you inside the cinema overnight, because you didn’t have your own set of keys to get out and the people whose numbers you remembered weren’t answering their phones. 
It’s somehow even worse than when a summer crush from a few years ago broke things off by telling you that he already had a girlfriend back home and that you were basically just a means to pass the time and get his dick wet. God, and you thought that was the lowest you could possibly be.
Here you are, though, so far beyond all those things it would be comical, if it didn’t hurt. Chan has really done a number on you, and you’re not sure how you ended up getting so emotionally involved in your situationship with him that this is what you’ve been reduced to. For days now, you’ve been swallowing back tears of frustration (both with yourself and with Chan), rolling around in your bed night on night, unable to get to sleep because all you can think about is him.
Him, and the way he sounded genuinely horrified when his friends asked about the ‘movie girl’, and he laughed, ‘God, no – we’re just friends. That’s never gonna happen’. It was impressive, how quickly your face fell, in no way aided by the squealing giggles that rang through the house as a very, very drunk girl came running out of the living room and shut herself in the toilet, drowning out a chunk of the conversation you were listening in on. Somehow, it hurt even more when he went on to say ‘besides, there’s… someone else’. 
And when you have managed to drift off after hours of staring at the walls and the ceiling, hearing those words on a loop on your fed up brain? Of course he’s been in your fucking dreams, too.
In your defence, all you were trying to do was use the mirror in the hallway outside the kitchen he and his friends were standing in, readjusting your top to cover the hickey that he had so kindly left on your collarbone just the night before. It wasn’t as though you sought him out to listen in; it was a coincidence. And okay, fine, maybe you should have walked away when the conversation turned to the topic of Chan’s love life. Maybe you should have not crept closer and held your breath to be able to hear them all better. Maybe, even, you should have stayed around long enough to ask what he meant by it then and there instead of hopping in a taxi and going home without saying goodbye to anyone. 
Hindsight really is a beautiful thing.
Never gonna happen. Well, Chan seemed quite happy to ignore the fact that it already had happened. Several times. At least four of those being in the very car currently on the street outside your home. The car he’s used on countless occasions to drive you up to lovers’ lookouts in the dead of night, letting one of his many mixtapes play through the tinny speakers, where he’d kiss you breathless and cradle your face between his palms, as his fingers would delicately explore beneath your clothes, as his broad shoulders would slot between your thighs, as his hips rol–
And maybe you aren’t stupid, but Chan seems determined to prove that he sure as hell is. He came to pick you up from work the day after the party like nothing had happened, and couldn’t figure out why you said you would rather walk home in the rain than get in with him and stormed away without any further explanation. Then, he showed up on your doorstep on the morning of your day off with your favourite coffee and a breakfast bagel, asking if you could talk. He still didn’t realise what he’d done to upset you, so you slammed the door in his face. Finally, just earlier today, he ran after you in the mall, persistent as you’ve ever known him to be, and laid a hand on your shoulder when you didn’t turn around to just the sound of his voice calling your name. 
You pushed him off so hard he almost fell over. 
“Why can’t you just leave me alone?!” You had barked, shrugging your shoulders to try and realign your jacket. “I don’t want to talk to you. What’s not clicking?”
His face resembled that of a scolded pet when he took a step back and frowned at you. “I just wanted to–”
“I don’t care what you want, Chan,” you spat. “Give it up. I’m done.”
You could see the desperation swimming in his eyes as he scrambled for what to say and your heart felt like it was being weighed down all the way into your stomach. You supposed that was the part of you that was causing all this ache in the first place, and further that it was to blame for your current state of misery. But you steeled yourself and stood your ground nonetheless. He wasn’t going to win you over with puppy eyes and a pout. Not this time.
In his silence, you only then noticed how hard your breaths were coming, each slow and long but still dangerously unsteady. You lowered your voice, top lip curling at him as you muttered, “You’re embarrassed of me enough to lie to your friends? Fine. I don’t give a–… but shit, next time, tell a girl that to her face instead of behind her fucking back.”
It’s been seven hours, and you keep replaying the last thing he said to you as you stormed away (how his voice got quieter when he realised you weren’t turning back; how he sounded so hoarse, so sorry). 
‘I’m sorry if I hurt you - I— I never meant to.’
If. If. If. Were you not making it completely fucking obvious that he had, most definitely, hurt you? Part of your brain is even now starting to go down the route that he’s doing this on purpose, that it’s some twisted sort of damage control, that he hopes maybe if he plays dumb for long enough, you’ll forget what you were mad about or maybe start to second guess what you heard. But if that’s what he thinks, he obviously doesn’t know you very well at all. That’s never going to happen. 
Hell, for someone you were being so careful to keep in the appropriate lane in your head, Chan really has you thinking yourself in circles. You’re sick to your back teeth of him, and his stupid voice and his stupid smile and his stupid –
Clink.
Stupid. Fucking. Stones.
A groan loud enough to definitely catch the attention of your roommate sounds from deep within your chest at this interruption to your spiral and you finally, finally concede. Whatever argument he’s so clearly longing to have at 11 o’clock on a Thursday night? Fine. He can have it. If it means he backs off for good, you’ll give him his one last ruck.
You pull the window open none too gently and lean enough through it that Chan comes into view. He isn’t even looking up, you realise, too busy sifting through the driveway trying to find his next little projectile, and you hiss his name to get his attention. It startles him so much that he drops the indiscernible bundle in his right hand. He blindly scrambles to pick it up, those big, earnest eyes gazing at you as if you’re floating in midair before him.
“What the hell are you doing?!” You ask him, trying not to raise your voice too loud but at the same time, needing to generate enough volume for him to hear. He holds the bundle in both hands, now, and they catch the light of the lamp by your front door. Flowers, you register, squinting to try and make them out, your brows furrowing so much that your forehead hurts. 
Black dahlias.
You choke back a laugh. Ah, the joys of fooling around with the son of a florist. Are they all so damn dramatic? (Or does he just know that they’re your favourites?)
Whichever it is, you tell yourself that’s not going to work. You won’t let it. Through gritted teeth, you say, “go away. I’m serious. I’ll call the cops on you.”
He shakes his head, begging as he steps just a little closer so his face is more visible in the amber light too. “Please–” he hurries, biting his bottom lip. “Please, don’t– just… tell me what I did. I want to make it right. Please.”
He never begs like this. In all the time you’ve known him, you swear Chan has said ‘please’ to you fewer times than you could count on your fingers. Which is by no means a bad thing — that’s just always been the very comfortable nature of your friendship, and later, the -with-benefits tag that you ended up sticking on the end. 
“Why are you doing this?” You ask, pinching the bridge of your nose and fighting not to shiver in the cold nighttime air. Note to self: don’t do a Romeo and Juliet in the middle of the fucking winter without layering up, first. “What does it even matter?”
“What do you mean, what does it matter?” He asks, looking down at the bunch of flowers in his hands, then back at you. “I-... you know I’d never hurt you. Not on purpose. Please, just… if I did something–”
“There’s someone else,” you echo, fed up with his pretending. He’s a fair actor, you’ll give him that – he might even have been able to convince you, if you hadn’t already heard the other half of this tale he’s doing his best to spin in his favour. 
His face screws up, thinking he’s misheard. It’s his turn not to understand now. If you’re telling him you’ve met someone else, he’s got questions, because you’d promised to be open and honest with each other if that ever happened, so that you could call things off and go back to being just friends without it becoming a big deal. That was always supposed to be a calm conversation, not… whatever this is. You talked about it, right at the start. But… those are the words you’re saying, aren’t they? And why would you be mad at him if you were the one whose circumstances had changed? 
“What?” he asks, finally. “What do you mean?”
“God, no – we’re just friends. That’s never gonna happen. Besides, there’s… someone else!” You raise your voice without really meaning to, before swallowing hard and glancing back inside your room. “You said that, Chan. Don’t piss me off by coming here and pretending like you didn’t.”
Chan starts to look like he’s trying to figure out an algebraic equation in his head while only having half the required information; his eyes fall down to the gravel, his lips move without any sound coming out of them, his features tighten until there are definite lines between his eyebrows. Then, it clicks. The lightbulb moment. He slaps one hand to his face and shakes his head furiously, and you just know he’s going to wake up with an ache in his neck tomorrow because of it.
“Oh fuck,” he curses. “No, no, no, no, no – that’s not–”
“What did I just say?” You spit down at him. “Don’t piss me off–”
“Listen!” He shouts, and you gesture with your hand for him to lower his voice, interrupting his flow of thought and rendering him silent for a moment. “Fuck, please. Come down here and talk to me. That’s not what you think it is.”
You’re in every mind to slam your window shut and leave him out there in the cold. It would work if you got out your headphones to drown out the sounds of him trying to get your attention, which you have absolutely no doubt in your mind that he would do. And maybe then he’d get the hint; maybe then he would understand that you’re not just some pushover who he can just pick up and play with when it suits him. 
But he’s still holding those fucking flowers like they’re a lifeline, still looking up at you without a single lick of anger on his face. Not stress at having been discovered, which you would have expected him to be swimming in right about now. He looks… kind of beside himself, as if nothing could possibly be worse than what you’re threatening to do.
All this, for you? It just doesn’t make sense. 
“Please,” he says again, quieter, weaker. For the first time, you pick up on the hint of a shiver in his voice, and you swallow. Whether you’re gulping back your pride, or your resolve, or the last remnants of your sensibility, you don’t know. 
Does he deserve for you to hear him out? You’re not sure.
But does he deserve to be stuck out in the cold in just his stupid leather jacket and a pair of jeans? 
With regret, you think, no. He doesn’t.
All you give him is a scowl before you disappear from view entirely, pulling the window closed and drawing your curtains again. Faster than you think you ever have before, you throw on a sweatshirt over your pyjamas, grab your keys, and hurry down the stairs as silently as you possibly can. 
He’s stood in exactly the same place when you edge outside and pull the door closed behind you. Up-close, you can see the tiredness on his face: this is a man who has exhausted himself in worry, you think, and yet he still smiles a little when he sees you in full. He still holds the flowers out for you to take. He still purses his lips and blows out a stuttered cloud of air. Nervous, and not in the way you think he ought to be. So when you walk straight past him and don’t take the dahlias out of his hands, instead standing by his car and waiting for him to unlock it for you, you start to feel overwhelmingly guilty. 
Chan is many, many… many things. But he really isn’t this good of a performer, no matter what you’ve been telling yourself all week. For God’s sake, why is it so much easier to be angry at him when he’s not standing right in front you?
You slip into his passenger side as he fumbles to set the flowers down on his backseat again, and he joins you up front just a few moments later. His hands are shaking when he sets the keys into the ignition. His whole body is. When you cast a real look over at him, the tips of his fingers are pale and his lips are lacking their usual rosy, pink hue. Your own teeth are chattering despite only having been truly exposed to the cold air for a matter of seconds; you dread to think how frozen he must be.
“Are we driving?” You ask to break the silence. Since he got into the car and fiddled with the heating settings to try and warm things up a little, he hasn’t said a word. It’s awkward. It’s horrible. You already miss the comfortable way you’ve been able to sit for hours together, barely talking, just watching the lights of the city and the cars travelling through it. 
You already miss him. Which is a strange thought, seeing as he’s only about ten inches away. 
“If– if you want,” he says, stuttering through the frost in his lungs. “We can go—...”
“Drive, Chan,” you say. It’s not just because you want him to stop falling over his words – which, to be fair, you do. Chan has always been very confident, carrying himself with the air of someone who knows exactly their worth. It’s one of the things you treasure about him. So this? Is fucking weird. But a big part of it is that you know his car will heat up faster if it’s in motion, and right now, you think maybe he’s at risk of losing a finger or two if he doesn’t get some circulation back.
He steps on the gas and the car pulls away from your home. It’s the first time you’ve ever been in his car without there being some sort of music playing, whether that’s historically just been the radio or a tape he put together with the help of one of his older friends. (The tapes that always had your first initial on them. The tapes that he never failed to ask your opinions on when he dropped you home – as if he’d compiled them with only you in mind.) The silence feels jarring and you can hear every rumble of the engine, every squeal of the brakes he definitely needs to get serviced. 
But the car does warm through, and you sigh out relief as the bones in your hands move a little easier, as your fingers curl and uncurl to less resistance from your taut muscles. Chan feels it, too; his body relaxes, his breaths stop coming out in fractions, his face gets some colour back. The timing feels a little less awful when you finally say, “go on, then.”
Chan glances over at you as he drives down an unlit street. Only for a second, like he’s checking you’re still there, before his eyes train back on the road. He’s going to one of your favourite spots. It isn’t a lookout – it’s somewhere completely shut off from the rest of town, hidden by the trees near the railway tracks, somewhere you’ve never had to worry about being seen or heard. Maybe he’s anticipating a screaming match. Maybe he’s expecting something else. Maybe, even, he just cares about how much you love it there. 
“I didn’t know you heard that conversation,” he starts, sheepishly. You want to roll your eyes, reach over and thump him, ask if that makes what he said okay, but you don’t. You stay looking out the front windscreen too. Waiting. “I… all right. I was out of my ass drunk.”
You click your tongue, pressing it afterwards against the inside of your cheek, but again, you stay quiet.
“I don’t think you heard what you thought you heard, though,” he goes on to say. “‘Cause– ‘cause it wasn’t…”
But you can only be quiet for so long in the face of this mess. Especially when he’s apparently working towards a doctorate in beating around the fucking bush. “I heard you tell your friends that it was never gonna happen with ‘movie girl’.”
Chan’s face brightens, and you can’t help but wonder what on Earth is wrong with this man. Why does he find that funny? Why is his chest moving like he’s trying not to laugh?
“And you… thought you were movie girl,” he says, nodding. “Okay. Okay – shit. I’m sorry.”
You look at him properly, now, as he indicates to the right and takes the turn that leads him down the lane to your spot. “What are you talking about?”
“I get it,” he says. “You work at the–... but you’re not movie girl. Not that movie girl.”
“Stop talking in riddles before I get out of this car, Chan. It’s too late for this shit.”
He holds a hand up as if to apologise and settles back against the head cushion, suddenly looking far more comfortable than he did thirty seconds ago. He clears his throat, running his tongue over his lips, before sucking in a breath and letting himself go on.
“You’re not movie girl,” he says again, successfully clarifying nothing. “There’s this chick I used to dance with — years back, before… God, when we were in school, like, forever ago. She moved away when we were sixteen.” As he talks, he reaches your destination and sets the car into park, before he unfastens his seatbelt and turns to face you. You do the same, shifting your weight to tuck one leg up beneath you, and with your undivided attention, he goes on. “I ran into her recently. She’s back in town now, I guess. It was like, two weeks—?”
“I’m gonna be all-over grey by the time you finish telling this story,” you interrupt, raising an eyebrow. “Can you please give me the short version?”
“Not if you want it to make sense,” Chan shrugs. Begrudgingly, you let him keep talking. “She said it would be cool to hang out, maybe catch a movie or do lunch or something — and look, I didn’t know she was asking me on a date, I thought she was just being nice, y’know? Trying to be friends, but… you weren’t working that day, it was when you had that… that stomach thing going on? And I brought you the soup my mom made, remember?”
You nod; of course you remember. At the time, you wondered why on Earth this grown man’s mother was making you food — you asked yourself whether he’d told her about you, or if she thought it was for someone else. In the end you decided he must have just been bringing you leftovers. But you’d been too worn out to start asking questions; instead, after you’d eaten, you let yourself fall asleep with your head in his lap as he patted your hair and hummed his favourite songs. You hadn’t let yourself think too deeply about it since. 
“Anyway. We were sat watching the movie and she, uh,” he glances down at his lap, tips of his ears burning pink. “She put her hand, sorta, on my thigh? And then I was like, shit, I didn’t read this right, like… at all. So I moved it off and she took the hint — and after it ended I said to her, you know, I was flattered, right? But I wasn’t interested. And then I went home and got that soup and—… yeah.”
He came straight to see you. To look after you. Hell, you didn’t even fool around that night; in retrospect, it was all uncharacteristically domestic. And slowly, the pieces you’ve spent days struggling to fit together start to fall into place. It makes sense. The only question that remains is do you believe him?
Well, tell a lie. 
There is one more. 
“You said there was someone else,” you add quietly. 
You’ll die before you admit it, but this is secretly the part that was hurting you the most. 
You can’t even look him in the eye, right now; your cheeks are burning with the embarrassment of even caring. As much as you want to tell yourself that the only reason you’re pissed is just because of the dishonesty, you can only stare at yourself in the mirror and point-blank lie so many times. Someone else. You hate it. 
Just the thought of him seeing somebody else, taking them out on dates, smiling at them, laughing with them, kissing them the way he kisses you, touching —
A shiver runs the length of you and you cross your arms, thrusting your sleeve-covered hands under your armpits. 
Chan takes a deep breath in and exhales it slowly, like he’s blowing smoke out of his lungs. “There is,” he admits, nodding slowly, avoiding your eyes, too. “There is someone else.”
“When were you going to tell me?” You ask. 
Chan doesn’t respond straight away. You don’t notice, but eventually his eyes do land back at you; it’s only when he clears his throat to get your attention that you look at him long enough to realise he’s quite deliberately staring. His lips are lifted on the right in a lopsided smile, his eyes soft as he reaches across the seats towards you. You stare blankly down at his hand until he wiggles his fingers, and you think briefly that this is the most fucked up ending to a situationship you’ve ever been through. 
You drop one of your hands down and let him hold it, though, staring at his face as his thumb brushes over your knuckles and you wait for him to finally say it out loud. For him to announce that he’s fallen for somebody and that he can’t see you anymore. To put the nail in the coffin. Don’t tell me their name, you think. I don’t want to know anything about them. Please, just don’t.
“For someone so frustratingly smart, you’re really fucking dumb,” Chan says, finally, swallowing around his words and squeezing your fingers. Whatever stoic expression you had forced onto your face at the start of this conversation dissolves into irritation and you snatch your hand away from him again, letting his own fall and collide with a thunk against the handbrake. 
“Oh, sorry that I didn’t realise you were sneaking around behind my back when that’s the one thing we promised we wouldn’t do,” you snap. “God. The only stupid thing I’ve done here is get involved with you in the f—”
“You’re the someone else.”
Oh. 
Oh.
“I’m—?”
“You.”
The admission hangs heavily between you, as does your nonsense, unfinished insult. Neither of you really know what to do with yourselves except sit perfectly still and try to somehow deal with your increasingly dry throats. When Chan moves, it’s only to turn down the heating dial when his cheeks burn a bit too hot; you appreciate it, in part due to the bead of sweat currently running down your back, but you don’t say so. 
“You could have started with that,” you say weakly, wrestling with all your strength to keep even some of your cards close to your chest. It’s not working though. Your attempt to conceal your elation is a bit like throwing a single leaf on top of a bison and calling it camouflage. 
Chan commits to laughing, finally, your sentiment breaking him too. Now, you do crack that smile, albeit mostly just at the sound that comes from him. It’s bright and airy, lighting his whole face up as he drops all the way back and leans against his car door, pushing his fingers through his hair. “I was trying to build to a moment! It’s not my fault you hit every branch of the anti-romantic tree on your way down.”
“I am not anti-romantic,” you scoff in protest. 
“Yes — you are.”
“Am not!”
“Are too.”
“No, you’re just an idiot.”
“Says she who didn’t realise her fuck-buddy had feelings for about six months, Jesus.”
“Chan—” You start, your voice laced with a playful warning. 
“Here I was thinking I was making it completely obvious,” he rambles on. 
“— oh my God, just shut up and kiss me.”
“Dropping hints left and r—” … “Huh?”
He stops short a fraction of a second after you finish, stumped and silent, frozen with everything but a little buffering symbol above his forehead. Kiss me, you said. Chan, […] just shut up and kiss me. All right, you’ve asked him to do that before, but not like this. Not as if you’ll wither away should you not get a taste of his lips this instant. It takes him some time to process it, but he does move in first, eventually. The way he always does, closing the distance between you like he’s been shot out of a cannon, one hand either side of your face, crashing feverishly against your mouth. 
Every now and again, he’ll be happy to let you take charge and set the pace: mostly just if he’s feeling lazy or especially generous. Tonight isn’t one of those times, however. He holds you and kisses you possessively, like you’re his, like this is how he finally gets to lay claim on you, licking between your gasp-parted lips after he moans straight into your mouth. He’s spearmint sweet, edged with that one cherry flavoured chapstick he stockpiles as he grins up against you, rolling his body fluidly with every separation for air, every changing angle. 
He pulls your sweatshirt up over your head and throws it down into the footwell on the passenger side, straight away hurrying to kiss you hungrily again, hands cupping your neck. His tongue is in your mouth once more, there’s no way you could possibly differentiate your breaths from his: you’re one, in every way you can be with your clothes still on, but it’s not enough. 
“Want you,” you whimper as he nips at your bottom lip and pleasure rushes through you from head to toe. 
“You’ve got me,” he groans with his eyes still closed. “I’m all yours.” 
“No,” you insist, whimpering when his cute little nose drags across your cheek until he’s pressing hot kisses to your jawline. “I— fuck—”  He suckles on the sweet spot below your ear and your spine tingles, head tilting to give him better access. “Chan, I want you.”
Chan settles back from you, his usually bright, sparkling eyes now darkened with desire. All he gives you is a singular glance sideways, but you know exactly what he’s suggesting. You nod, breathing deep, biting the inside of your cheek; he turns off the headlights and it’s all systems go. 
There’s a rush to scramble into the back of the car. Chan takes the keys out the ignition and climbs through the gap in the seats; you opt for the less hazardous approach of getting out of the vehicle entirely and re-entering it instead. Not that it bothers him — no sooner is the door closed behind you, Chan’s hands are on your hips and he pulls you on top of him, your leg knocking the dahlias off the leather and onto the floor in the process. You gasp and glance down but he averts your attention with two fingers under your chin, guiding you to look back at him. 
“What? You think this is the last time I’ll bring you flowers?” He asks, capturing your lips as he leans up to you; at the same time, his hands drop low and he starts to slide open the buttons down the front of your pyjama shirt. “Baby, m’gonna get you so many more.” 
You sigh at the affectionate name, at the change in its use; until now, Chan has only called you baby while he’s buried inside you, bruising you inside and out with sharp thrusts and rough-gripping fingers. But as much as you can feel him growing hard against the inside of your thigh while you try to get comfortable, one knee planted either side of his hips, you can’t help but feel as if this time, it means something different. 
(He’s had feelings for six months: it always meant what it does, now. You know that, deep down.)
Somewhere in amongst the never-ending sloppy kisses and constantly travelling hands, you manage to strip both his jacket and T-shirt off him and you’re pressed bare-chest-to-bare-chest with Chan, feeling every little hitch of his breath in his lungs, every thump of his heartbeat, every tiny increase in the temperature of his skin. Your desperate search for friction between your legs has you rolling your hips down against his hard-on, drawing grunts and making him squeeze at your tits when you rock against him the right way. His head eventually drops to your chest and he replaces one hand with his mouth, freeing his fingers to slide down the front of your pyjama bottoms. 
It’s honestly rarer for Chan to get straight to the point than it is for him to tease you a little first, so when he flattens his palm against you and brushes his fingertips over your already aching clit, you let out a squeak of surprise. He shivers, releasing your nipple from between his teeth for a moment; once he’s collected a little more arousal to ease the friction, he continues to rub at the bud, slowly building the pressure inside you.
“No panties?” He asks, struggle clear in the roughness of his voice. 
“I was in bed,” you gasp, eyes rolling back. It’s for the best that it happens out of pleasure, really, because you’re not sure you’d be able to stop yourself rolling them in exasperation at his remark otherwise. You shuffle a little, lifting yourself up on your knees more, breath hitching when he uses the newly granted space to dip his hand lower and press a finger against your hole. “Please, Chan — this can’t be comfy— just…”
“S’fine” he argues, shaking his head, despite the fact that the angle of his wrist is actually kind of painful, right now. The truth is that he can’t bring himself to care: not when he can smell your fabric softener on the shirt still hanging off your shoulders, the shampoo in your freshly washed hair, all so pretty mixed with the damp scent of your desire. Not when you clench around him as he slides his finger in and out of your cunt. Not when he could get you to soak all the way through these pretty satin pants. 
Your arms snake around his neck as he dips a second finger inside you to join the first. The way your thighs tighten around his hips could — should — be embarrassing, the fact his sturdy lap holds you open enough for your pussy to be toyed with even more so. You almost always do this too music, too — for what might be the first time ever, you can hear every single wet sound your body makes, every hitch of your own breath, every grunt he gives even though he’s not the one being pleasured. 
You don’t even realise how you’re rocking up and down against his hand until Chan licks from the base of your neck to your jaw, smirking over your pulse point and says, “gonna ride my cock this good too, baby?”
And if it was anyone else talking to you like this, you would be embarrassed. Mortified, at being so needy you’re here doing all the work for him. At the cry you give as he splits and scissors his fingers to stretch you out. But instead? You feel another rush of arousal drool out of you as you press your nails into his shoulders and nod, bouncing harder and watching how his bicep tenses up solid with the effort of keeping his arm steady for you to use. 
“Wanna,” you gasp. “Want it so bad, Chan—”
Despite your pleas for this to move further, when his hand pulls back out of the elastic of your waistband, you feel like you could throttle him. The urge ebbs away when his soaked fingers press to your lips and he quirks an eyebrow at you, though — you end up suckling them clean, licking up every trace of your own slick. You lock eyes with him as you do, slumping on your thighs so your drenched core sits right over his tweaking length, the seam of your pants giving just enough friction to your clit for it to feel good as you grind down on him again. 
“Get those off,” he instructs, trying to sound hard and dominant. Which would work, perhaps, if his voice didn’t crack in the middle of the sentence. “Now.”
Even though you’re overcome with a need to tease him, the desire you have to be split open on his length outweighs it, so you do as you’re told and hold it in for later. It’s not easy, but you manage to manipulate yourself in his lap to work the satin down your thighs and past your knees. He helps you tug them the rest of the way past your ankles and feet, shoves them onto the floor — Chan’s hands settle back on your hips and yours skim down his stomach at the same time, fingers grazing over the little hairs that trail from his bellybutton down into his jeans. 
“Can I?” You ask, playing already with his belt buckle. 
He hums assent and you slip it all the way open, tugging as he moves his hips underneath you so you can pull it free from the loops. Between you, you manage to get his jeans unfastened, to pull both them and his boxer shorts down over his ass and to his knees; finally, fucking finally, his cock sits pretty and leaking and free between your stomach and his. It’s getting cold in the car now the heating isn’t on, but you’re already burning up in anticipation for him to ruin you; the way his abs ripple as he takes his shaft into his hand and strokes himself a couple of times to prepare tells you he’s in the same boat. 
It’s like clockwork, from here. You shift into position as easily as you settle into bed after a long day. Chan rubs his tip through your folds, feels the warmth of you and hisses through his teeth with fluttering eyes. Just like always. This never changes. He can’t ever get enough of that first feeling of his cock against your pussy: it’s like the first hit of a blunt, like the first sip of a cold beer, the first full-body stretch early in the morning. He’s sure it’s what arriving at the gates of heaven must feel like. 
You sink down onto him slowly, fluttering around his tip and stilling to give you both a moment to get used to the feeling. He’s thick inside you. Thicker than his pretty, dainty fingers have ever been able to stretch you enough for. Even as wet as you are, you still need to suck a deep breath into your lungs before you can relax your hips further and let your heat swallow him all the way to his base. 
Chan’s head is tipped back in pleasure, he’s biting his lip at the sting of your nails pressing hard into the back of his neck. He loves it, though — loves how the pain shoots in waves down his spine, how it tingles in his brain, how he knows you need to anchor yourself this way or you’ll lose control. He kneads at your ass as you sit against his thighs, listening to you whimpering at how deep he is inside you.
“So fucking tight around me still,” Chan groans, focusing all his willpower into keeping his hips down on the leather beneath him. “Shit, baby — you feel so good…” His neck softens and his head drops forward again as you start to move, rising and falling over and over. He kisses your throat and down to your collarbones while you work up to a rhythm, sliding his palms up your back, hugging you close to him. 
He isn’t even the one putting in the hard work, but within minutes of this, his soft, fluffy hair clings to his forehead. A light sheen of sweat makes him radiant under the moonlight breaking through the trees. He’s breathing heavily, the top of his toned chest painted a soft pink — you don’t think he could possibly look prettier. Not until he cups your jaw with his hands and you look upwards: you land on his smiling face, those plush, swollen lips, his devilish but sweetly glittering eyes. The sight of him, looking at you like you’re some kind of Goddess, makes your pussy tighten and your tiring hips stutter. You slip your pyjama top all the way off your arms and curl your fingers into his hair, meeting him in an open-mouthed kiss, through which you’re both just beaming. 
You’ve never kissed him this much. When it all started out, you sort of had a rule against it, but now? Neither of you can stop. As he starts to fuck up into you, taking the reins and letting your burning thighs rest, he keeps your face steady with his hands and freely allows his lips to slide against yours. It’s not refined. It can’t be. Not with how hard and fast his movements quickly become, not with the onslaught of curses and moans and babbled praise coming from the both of you. One particularly sharp thrust makes you yelp out a squeak of his name and he just swallows it down, making a point to keep aiming for— and hitting— that same spot inside you. You’re a mess. 
He could do this all night. When your orgasm bubbles inside you and he starts pinching at one of your nipples, sending you over the edge, he’s nowhere near finished. Even though your cunt massages at his length, throbbing and pulsing through your climax; even though your voice is so high by now that only dogs can hear you; even though you nearly collapse on top of him with almost all your weight in his lap, and he has to work twice as hard to keep this going, he barely slows. He definitely doesn’t stop. 
“You can gimme one more, right sweetheart?” He asks, grunting into your neck. “Always feels so fucking good when you come.” You choke up an ‘mhm’, to which he responds by slipping a hand between your bodies and down to where you’re connected. His thumb presses against your clit again — not moving, just applying enough pressure to make you stutter when you say his name. 
Your thighs are still twitching when you try to lift yourself a little, try to meet his movements as he chases his orgasm too. The “problem” with Chan is that his stamina is otherworldly. You couldn’t keep up if you wanted to. 
“Relax,” he says, tensing his jaw, doing the opposite himself. “Fuck — lie down.”
It’s pretty cramped and hard to move, but you lift yourself off him and only slightly lament at the sudden emptiness between your legs. There isn’t time to get too upset, however: moments after you get comfortable on your back, Chan shoves his jeans the rest of the way down and stands with one knee planted on the seats, lifting one of your ankles up to rest it on his shoulder. He slips back inside you easily then, gripping around your calf to keep you both steady. From the word go, his pace is relentless. You scrabble around for something to hold onto but the entire car seems to melt away; you ball your hands into fists at your sides instead, your eyes squeezed tightly shut. 
“Mm-mm. Look at me,” Chan hums, tightening his grip on your leg. “Wanna see those pretty eyes.” 
You obey, opening your lids to look up at him while he pounds into you hard enough to make the car shake. Over, and over, and over, and over. Rougher. Faster. For how long? Who even knows. All you’re truly aware of is how good it feels. How the windows grow foggy with the  steam of your laboured breaths. How his sweat mingles with your own. 
When his fingers on the other hand get reacquainted with your clit, when he bites down on his bottom lip, when his thrusts start to get messier and more erratic and the veins in his arms start to bulge out, you know he’s getting close. He doesn’t need to tell you out loud. The smirk he wears speaks for itself. 
“Where d’you want it, baby?” He asks you, pressing a kiss to the inside of your ankle. 
“In— mmh, in-…side me—” you stammer, hips jolting as you near your second orgasm to match his first. “Please, Chan — want it all…”
“Yeah?” 
“Yeah—”
Well, he must’ve been holding himself back something spectacular, because a few thrusts later you watch all of his muscles contract as he tips over the edge, and you go hurtling with him. It’s all so much. All your nerve endings feel like they’re on fire and your vision starts to blur at the edges; it’s not long before you have to close your eyes to shut one of your overworked senses out, completely. Your muscles are sore. Your throat hurts. Even your lungs ache. 
God, he hasn’t gone that hard in so long, you don’t know what to do with yourself. You can barely speak — it’s going to take you a week to recover from this, minimum. 
He stills deep inside you, feeling his cock throb with the last pumps of his release. Your leg slips off his shoulder and your foot lands down with a thud onto the car’s (thankfully clean) floor; he bends forward to kiss you, still breathing heavily against your lips. You’ve come over completely boneless and reaching up to thread your fingers into his hair again feels like running a marathon at sprint pace. You’d fall asleep right here, right now, if you could, but with sweat cooling rapidly against your skin, you know that’s probably not up there as one of your finest ideas. 
“You really think getting involved with me was stupid?” Chan asks, nudging your nose with the tip of his own. He’s never been less serious than this in his entire life, which stops you feeling too bad when you lightly slap at his rock solid chest and try to push him off you.
“Yes,” you lie, attempting to reach to the ground for your pyjama shirt while he grips your chin and attacks you with tiny little pecks all over your face. “Stupidest thing I’ve ever done.”
(Chan chuckles to himself and thinks that he’s quite happy to be the stupidest thing you’ve ever done, really. He can stay that way, as long as you promise never to stop.)
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thank you so much for reading. i hope you enjoyed it - likes, feedback, comments, reblogs are all so appreciated.<3
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luna0713hunter · 6 months
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Kiss me where it hurts the most
Zoro Roronoa x reader
Summary : sometimes,things happen and hearts break. Sometimes,everyone need a good cry. But maybe hiding away and crying alone,away from your boyfriend wasnt a good idea.
Warnings : none,just hurt/comfort,reader is having a hard time,break downs and panic attacks,soft zoro,fluff
For anyone who's having a rough time :) hope u get well soon
*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘
Leaning against the wooden wall of the storage room,you calmly sit down and try to make yourself as comfortable as you possibly can in the small space behind the stored boxes. You try to be as quiet as possible;not wanting to make any noise and wake someone up.
You didnt want to be found just yet.
You knew what you were doing wasnt actually wrong;after all,its only human nature wanting to hide away and have a little alone time. But for some reason,you felt guilty. Guilty for running away from your friends' help,and your boyfriend's concerned gaze.
It was too much.
Your life wasnt all sunshine and flowers,thats why you chose to join the StrawHats and sail away; hoping that maybe becoming a pirate,may solve your problems. But boy,you were wrong.
Problems seem to sail with you as well. And no matter how hard you tried to bottle everything up,at some point,it was bound to break,and break you as well. So when everything became too much,you skipped dinner,told your boyfriend that you're tired and instead of resting,you found a secret spot in the storage room to calm down.
And when the first tear rolled down your cheek,you knew you were screwed;once your tears start, there's no stopping them.
You hands tightly press against your mouth as you squeeze your eyes shut and try to muffle your cries. Everything feels so heavy. Too fucking much. You have no idea what finally triggered your breaking,but whatever it was,it fucked you up good.
You lower your head and rest your forehead against your knees;since when life became so complicated? sure,ever since you remembered,you understood way too much,more than your age. You were always the kid trying to make everyone feel better,helping them and be a shoulder they could lean or cry on. But ironically,no one ever did the same for you.
So when your own boyfriend,Zoro,tried to make you talk,of course you shut him out;not understanding why he would waste his time listening to your nonsense. You were fine,maybe feeling a bit down and suffocating,but you were fine.
You wouldn't want Zoro to leave you after all with your problems-
Zoro would only hate you-
Who we would want someone with so many baggage after all?
Trying desperately to shut up the voices in your head,you wrap your arms around your head to cover your ears;so when a pair of rushes footsteps hurry toward you,of course you dont hear.
You jerk shakily,your eyes snapping open when a pair of hands settle on your shoulder and squeeze with a small amount of pressure;trying to ground you and make you look at him.
Him
Your lips wobble as your eyes lock with Zoro's;and with a sudden rush of panic,you try to push him away.
He doesn't move.
"Y/n," his voice is thick, heavier than always, " whats wrong?"
When you dont answer and choose to bite your lips until they almost bleed,with a sudden move, he's pulling you to his chest
"babe,tell me what the fuck is wrong. I swear I'll fix it."
And thank god your face is buried in Zoro's chest;because as soon as those words leave his mouth, you're breaking down again.
Your sobs are loud and heartbreaking to anyone listening,and you feel Zoro's arms squeezing you tighter. You wrap your own arms around his back,and burry your face more in his shirt;taking in his soothing scent.
Zoro always smelled liked rain,apples and freshly cutted grass.
"baby girl," his voice is soft as he rubs up and down your back;one hand combing through your hair, "dont cry. Tell me whats wrong. Who hurt you? I'll kill them myself."
"just," your throat feels hoarse after crying so much,but you manage to get out few words, "stay. Dont go."
And Zoro never denies you anything.
So you just sit there. Half in Zoro's lap,with your arms wrapped around his neck,and your face buried in his neck. His hands never once stop rubbing your back,and for someone not a fan of talking,he never stops his sweet words and gentle praises.
For you,Zoro is always a different man.
After a long time,when you're finally calmed down and tired from all the crying,Zoro leans his back against the wooden wall and pulls you completely in his lap to cradle you against his chest. Your eyes are heavy when you look up at him
"sleepy?"
And after a nod from you, your eyes fall shut when his presses his lips to your forehead.
"then sleep. We can talk when you're awake."
With another nod,you close your eyes and fall asleep. And strangely,you dont dream of anything.
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1800jjbarnes · 1 year
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𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 | 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬
【Synopsis】 : You and Bucky have a huge fight just before your heat starts. Now you have to choose; lose the argument and apologise or be a brat and see what happens.
『Word count』 : 2.05k
Paring: Alpha!Wolf!Bucky x Bunny!Hybrid!Reader
[Warnings] : Objectification. Swearing. Hate sex. Spanking. Using a belt to tie the reader up. Fingering, dirty talk. Pet name. Use of the words slut, whore and bitch. Heavy degradation. Choking. Crying kink. Little cum eating. Lots of body fluids. Pussy slapping. Big dick Bucky. Angst. Angry Bucky. Fighting. Some fluff at the end, I guess.
✦ The ALPHA AND BUNNY Universe ✦ -> [Click Here]
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Frustration brewed in Bucky as he paced the halls of the pack grounds. He didn’t mean what he said to you. But his pride refused to let him apologise first. Yes, you were both in the wrong, and you both were well aware of that. But the heated argument didn’t stop until you walked out of the room. Storming to your shared living quarters without him. He stays in the main hall for a while. Keeping his distance from anyone. And if anyone dared to speak to their angry leader, he would growl in a tone that scared anyone's wolf away.
It had only been a couple of hours. Four? Five? Heck, it was probably going on six at this point. His wolf was howling, begging for him to just give up this silent no-talking game that you and Bucky had started. But no, he needed you to apologize first. So, after finally stopping his frustrated pacing, he went to his study to try and get work done in order to distract himself. It worked for maybe five minutes before he threw some papers—that were most likely important— on the floor.
Fuck it. He thought, getting up to make a quick stride over to his living quarters but when he aggressively opened his study room door he is suddenly met with a sight he didn’t know he was going to witness for another week.
“B-Buck...” It was you. Carrying a sad pout and clenched thighs. He could smell your arousal leaking out of you. Your eyes were already glossed over and full of desperation. Through the fight, he completely misread the date, forgetting your heat was approaching. It took every fibre in his being not to pounce on you then and there. God, you smelt amazing.
“Come to apologize, I see.” His cockiness grew, knowing you would have to apologize now, and then you can both just forget about the silly fight. But little did he know you weren't going to give up that easily either. Even if you were on your heat and desperately craved him. Two can play the game, and by swearing to the moon goddess herself, you were going to try everything in order to win. Even if that means you make him even madder than he already is.
“No. It's you who should apologize.” You bit at him, while his hands snaked around your waist, pulling you inside the room before closing the door with your body. He had you pinned. Unable to move. Just how he liked it. His cocky smile stayed plastered on his face, tilting his head slightly he whispered against your neck.
“Hmm from what I can remember, it is you who started this. And besides, it seems you have a problem only I can fix. So I think you better start begging for forgiveness.” His hot breath tickled your skin. He was teasing your body, wanting to bend you. Break you. But you pushed him away slightly, showing fire burning in your eyes.
“I swear to fucking god James if you don’t do something, I will go to your fucking beta and ask him to fuck me.” you pulled him by his collar so your lips could graze his ear while his cocky expression slowly turned into one of anger. “I’m sure as hell he would be more than happy to oblige and make me cum.”
Oh, that sent him over the edge. His vision turned red as he gripped your waist before lifting you up over his shoulder. His hand landed a harsh smack on your ass sending a shiver down your spine. Your heat surge threw you like a sweetened pain, making you grip the hem of Bucky's shirt. You tug it up seeing his toned back with your upside-down view. It didn’t take long for your lover to make it to your bedroom, practically throwing you. You land on the soft comforter on your bed, pushing your face against the fluffy duvet as you watch Bucky with hooded eyes. All your anger and frustration was gone, and suddenly, the only thing you cared for was to have him in any way, shape, or form.
“Buckyy…” you groan, wanting him near you. He watched you with a smirk like he was enjoying your struggle. The tilt of his head proved just that, bending down to grab your chin, pulling you towards him. You thought he was still mad, unaffected by your heat. And you were partly right. He was still angry about what happened, but his mind was slowly losing control the more and more he took in your scent. He had always been caring and sweet in and out of the bedroom. He never wanted to hurt you in any way. But now. Now he saw raw anger-fueled lust, and he needed to release the emotions, and your body seemed to be the perfect toy for it.
“You know that I respect you, right?” He whispers in a softer tone than before, almost as if he held perfect composure. His fingers that gripped your chin moved to squish your cheeks together. Your lips pouted from the action, making you look pathetic to him.
“Yes,” you tried to speak, but his grip was tight. Your hips wiggled in anticipation, seeing his free hand reach for his belt, undoing it with ease.
“Because I’m about to fuck you with nothing but disrespect.”
-
Your hands were tied with the very belt he wore. Your naked form was on display just for him while he was still in his dress pants. You wanted to see all of him, have all of him. But you knew you shouldn’t dare ask for more. His fingers were sitting deep inside you, fucking you through yet another orgasm. You were so desperate for more, but you also begged for him to stop. But he didn’t listen. Your sweet scent, rich cherry with hints of vanilla, is infused in his veins and lingers on his skin like a tattoo. Those soft, whimpery sounds you make when his fingers are inside you are most alluring as the way your eyes glazed over, rolling back when he finds an especially good spot. It’s almost as irresistible as the way you would cling to him, clawing his back when it all becomes too much for your body to handle while he fucks you hard.
He’s so greedy for all of it. He can’t get enough of you. No matter how much you give, he wants more, wants to give you more of himself in return.
And it’s all your fault.
“You dirty fucking slut. Wanting another man to please you when you know for a fact I'm the only one who can make this pussy come.” He growled, leaning over your thrashing body, licking your mate mark, and taking in your scent. You didn’t even try and make a snarky comeback, just moaning out a choked please over and over like a broken record instead.
“Who knew my precious baby liked to be fucked like a whore.” He smirks feeling you clench around his fingers “You want that Doll? Want me to use this body as a toy? Fill it up with my cum for my own pleasure?”
“Yes Yes Yes Please! Fuck James!!” You screamed, cumming for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. Tears ran down, staining your cheeks. Your lips were puffy and red, swollen from the makeout. God, you were so beautiful in this moment. He wished he could print this image in his mind forever. He pulled his fingers out from your leaking hole, seeing your cum spill on the bed. He had to chuckle at how many times he made you cum just with his fingers.
“Pathetic.” He taped your lips with his cum soaked fingers, wanting you to take them in your mouth. You obeyed the silent command, sucking your release off while he uses his free hand to unbuckle his pants so he could be free of them.
“Turn around now. And I swear to god, if you try and run, I’ll tie you back down and leave you here with a vibrator connected to you. Understand.” He spat out, growling in his alpha voice, making your wolf howl in a plea. You nodded but he wanted words, so he slapped your pussy, making you jump at the shock. “Words. Bitch.”
“Yes!”
“Yes, what?” He reached for the belt, waiting for your response before he opened the clasp.
“Yes, Alpha.”
“Good Girl.” The clasp clicks, freeing your red and soon-to-be bruised wrists. You take no second chances, turning around, lifting your ass in the air for him to see you in full display. He stood at the end of the bed with a smirk plastered on his face. You were presenting yourself just for him.
Bucky could barely stand any more brief seconds his cock was not in your warm, tight pussy, immediately getting on the bed before rolling his hips to get deep inside you with one swift motion. There’s no way he’s stopping now, he can’t stop, not until he’s gotten orgasm after orgasm after orgasm out of you, like before.
He drops his weight on top of you and his sweet scent, smoked Maple, and spiced citrus drifts around you in hazy waves. You could get high off his smell alone. Teeth graze your bonding mark, the wide pad of his thumb finds your aching clit, ruthlessly circling it, sensations skitter across your skin and he grinds into you, your pussy stretched tight around his thick cock, the veiny ridges sliding against your velvety walls, leaving you so full you don’t know if you want to push him out and beg for a reprieve or clench down and beg for more.
“Cum for me? There you go, give it to me. My dirty little slut,” he grunts, “Gonna fill your tight little pussy again and again and then I’m gonna shove every drop of my cum back inside you, gonna keep you. Yeah, that’s it, fuck—such a good baby, giving me what I need, so fucking tight and warm and soft, fuck fuck I can't-,”
He breaks off, losing control for a moment. The frustration finally started to wash away. His metal hand, retches upwards, snaking around your throat in order to pull you up along with his body. But his grip tightens, making your head spin in pure pleasure. You clenched around him from his actions, letting him know you enjoy the feeling just as he enjoys the feeling of his fingers wrapped perfectly around your fragile neck. His filthy words had pushed you to the brink, blinding hot sensations flowing through your veins but it’s the way he loses control, his words slurring together, his pace quickening, becoming erratic and sloppy, thrust after deep, smooth thrust that set off your orgasm.
An indescribable noise escaped your slacked mouth, your vision blurring, and your body tensing as Bucky fucks you through. His moans stream in your ear, pushing you higher and higher until you break with a quiet sob, falling back to the sheets, pliant and sated when he finally lets your neck go. Bucky is quick to follow, chasing his own high as soon as he felt your orgasms, warmth flooding your body as he cums. His hips jerked once, twice, three times, desperately trying to push it back inside you even as it seeps around his cock.
A moment of silence is finally placed. No more anger. No more wild emotions. Just heavy breathing and fast-pumping hearts. He slid his cock out of you, swiftly turning you around so he could cage your body under him in a tight, warm hug. Was he now the one crying?
“I’m sorry…” He finally said, giving up on the whole fight entirely. You wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, pulling him closer. Enough for your face to slot against his neck, feeling safe in his arms, surrounded by his scent.
“I’m sorry too…”
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incognit0slut · 6 months
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Right Kind of Wrong (15)
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She ever thought she’d be involved in a murder investigation and encounter her one-night-stand again, the awkward guy who isn’t exactly that good in bed—Or is he? Offended by the sentiment, Spencer is determined to prove her wrong… But as he gets tangled with the beautiful stranger, he realizes there is more to her than what meets the eye.
Part Summary: Spencer is determined to find her whereabouts. wc: 3.5k
Series Warnings: 18+ explicit content, graphic details of murders, mentions of suicide, mentions of SA
A/n: I want to thank everyone for sticking to this series, don’t worry, I didn’t forget it, life has just been weird lately😔 Also I want to mention there’s like 5 parts left? I think
Other parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14
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"REID, NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT."
Spencer wasn't sure how many times he heard those words. He knew they were told to bring him comfort, something his team members kept on reciting, yet a sense of skepticism gnawed at him. He couldn't shake the feeling that they were nothing more than lies. How could he not when the only thing he could do was blame himself for what happened?
His shoulders slumped, his eyes were filled with anguish, and his heart held a heavy burden of guilt.
He should've deduced the real Unsub.
He should've been the one keeping her safe.
You also should've never left her fucking house, you idiot.
He hated swearing, even if it was in his own mind—which, truthfully, was so much worse considering he despised being trapped in his own head. Possessing a psychology degree enabled him to understand the detrimental effects of being trapped within one's own thoughts, yet he couldn't escape the clutches of his own mind. The knowledge of this predicament weighed heavily on him, a cruel irony that he understood all too well.
"Pretty boy, are you even listening to me?"
He was, he just didn't want to respond. Morgan was the third person to say those words to him. The first came from JJ, who was the first one to assure him when he had a panic attack at the warehouse. Second was from Prentiss, who he met when he rushed to Y/n's house after collecting himself. And now Morgan was cornering him at the hospital as they waited for Sandy, laid in one of the rooms, to recover from her concussion.
"Reid."
"I heard you," he snapped. Then a thought occurred to him at Morgan's sudden knowledge of his involvement with their witness. "How did you know?"
"Know what?"
"The reason why I'm acting this way." He had to elaborate when Morgan merely raised his eyebrows. "Why I'm... blaming myself so much."
"Everyone knows you're involved with her. Heck, I knew it the first time we met her that night. Remember that? You pretended you didn't know her," Morgan recalled. "You weren't as subtle as you think."
God, that night seemed like it happened yesterday. He couldn't believe how much had happened, and to think she was just a stranger when he first met her, a stranger he would never see again... now all he could think about was her. Her smile. Her safety. His stomach churned. The guilt he felt was a relentless, gnawing ache that refused to let go.
Morgan suddenly pulled him. His sudden, determined grip propelled him toward the vending machine stationed at the far end of the hospital corridor. Irritated, he couldn't help but drag his feet along the floor. "What are you doing?"
"You need coffee," Morgan replied, "you function better with caffeine in your system."
"We need to wait for Sandy—"
"She's not going anywhere, Kid. There's no use hovering in front of her door now."
Reluctantly, Spencer gave in. He allowed his friend to pour a cup of coffee; the warmth and aroma offering a small comfort amidst the hospital's stark surroundings. Slowly, with a nod of gratitude, he accepted the cup from his outstretched hand.
"How are you holding up?" Morgan asked.
Spencer took a moment to collect his thoughts before responding to the question. "It's hard to process everything."
A heavy silence hung between them. Morgan's sigh broke the stillness, and he began, "Look, it's not—"
But Spencer cut him off, his voice tinged with guilt and self-blame. "Not my fault?" he said with a mix of frustration and anguish. "Morgan, I was there before it happened. I was at her house before I left to check the warehouse, just to step into his trap. The Unsub managed to pass through Officer Anderson and hurt her closest friend at the same time. If I was still there..."
"Reid, it's not about placing blame. You couldn't have known what would happen. The Unsub's actions were calculated and malicious, even if you had stayed, we can't predict how events would have unfolded." Morgan gave him a pointed look. "Blaming yourself won't help her, and it won't help you either."
Spencer's head shook with regret as he leaned against the cool hospital wall, his thoughts consumed by the painful memories of that night. "I hurt her," he confessed, his voice filled with remorse. "My words were hurtful, and so were my actions, and the thought of... the thought of her being in danger with the last thought of me—"
"We'll find her," Morgan assured him. "And when we do, you'll apologize to her for whatever happened."
Spencer gazed at him with a sense of desperation. In that instant, he unearthed a deep, previously unrecognized truth buried within his heart. It was a stark revelation, an understanding that struck him like a bolt of lightning amidst the storm of emotions he was weathering.
For the first time, he comprehended the true extent of his feelings. Until now, her presence in his life had been a catalyst, a spur-of-a-moment he never expected. He had taken her warmth for granted, never fully appreciating the depth of his attachment to her.
However, the threat to her safety had shattered his complacency. The fear of losing her, coupled with the regret of leaving their last interaction on such a bitter note, had awakened a realization within him. It hit him with a force that was as terrifying as it was enlightening. It was a moment of clarity, a realization that his feelings were far more significant than he had ever allowed himself to admit.
"You really like her, don't you?"
Spencer looked up, but before he could respond, his brief moment of vulnerability was abruptly interrupted by a sudden commotion. Without a second thought, he hastily left his coffee on a nearby chair and rushed toward the end of the hallway, Morgan following closely behind, as a doctor rushed into Sandy's room.
Between the flurry of medical staff, Spencer spotted a passing nurse and stepped into her line of vision. His voice was urgent, laced with concern as he asked, "What happened?"
The nurse delivered the news, "She's gaining consciousness," before swiftly disappearing into the room.
"We'll get some answers," Morgan reassured him from behind. "Don't worry, Reid, we'll find her."
Spencer nodded, his heart filled with a renewed sense of determination. The fact that Sandy had woken up was a glimmer of hope. It wasn't until a few minutes later the doctor emerged from the room, regarding the two men waiting in front of the door.
"She's awake and stable, but we'll need to monitor her for any potential complications." After a brief pause, the doctor continued, "It's apparent that she's still quite shaken. I would recommend that only one of you Agents speak with her."
They both nodded in agreement as the doctor left. Morgan turned toward Spencer. "You should talk to her."
He hesitated for a moment. "Are you sure?"
"Yes," Morgan confirmed. "I'll go check on Oliver in the meantime."
Spencer's thoughts swirled with unease at the mention of Oliver, their suspected Unsub who had turned out to be a pawn in a larger scheme, who was lying unconscious on another floor. He nodded, and as Morgan walked away, he slowly gathered himself and entered the room.
Stark, white walls greeted him as he stepped inside, followed by the beeping sound of the monitors rhythmically punctuating the silence. Sandy lay in the bed, a fragile figure amidst the pristine white sheets. Her eyes were fixed on the ceiling as he called out to her.
"Sandy?" Spencer carefully addressed her, observing the way she shifted on the bed before her gaze slowly met his. "I'm Dr. Spencer—"
"Reid," she finished for him, locking her gaze onto his with a surprising familiarity. "You're the FBI agent she's been talking about."
A moment of surprise shot through him, the realization that she had been talking about him caught him off guard. "She told you about me?"
"On a few occasions," she confessed, and then her gaze sharpened as she looked at him. "You hurt her."
Spencer's heart sank deeper, a heavy burden of guilt weighing him down. "What did she say?"
"She never really told us why she looked so sad that night, and considering you were mostly the topic of conversation when I was with her, I just assumed you had something to do with her mood swings."
His guilt deepened, yet he couldn't help but notice Sandy's choice of words. "Us? You both weren't alone?"
Sandy's gaze held a mixture of curiosity and concern. "What happened?" she pressed instead, her brows furrowing. "What happened after I passed out?"
Spencer took a hesitant step closer to the bed. "What do you remember?"
"I remember inhaling something disgusting."
He nodded gravely. "We suspect the Unsub used Chloroform on you."
Sandy's furrowed brow reflected both her confusion and unease. "What's an Unsub?"
"Unknown Subject, it's a term used when we haven't yet identified a suspect in a crime."
A heavy silence enveloped the room as Sandy absorbed the information. Her thoughts churned, and a growing sense of unease gnawed at her. A thought suddenly hit her. She glanced around the room, her anxiety mounting in the absence of her friend.
The question escaped her lips with an anxious edge to her voice. "Where's Y/n?"
Sandy didn't like the expression that crossed Spencer's face. It was a look that confirmed her worst suspicions, and a wave of dread washed over her as she braced herself for what he was about to say.
"We don't have that information," Spencer confessed, and the shock in her widened eyes was unmistakable. Her lips quivered as her thoughts raced, grappling with the gravity of the situation. She found herself haunted by guilt that this had somehow happened because of her.
"It's my fault," she whispered, her voice a mere breath, but the weight of her confession carried regret.
Spencer now understood what Morgan meant about avoiding self-blame. "It's not your fault," he reiterated. "Listen, there's no use in blaming yourself, what you can do is help us by recalling what you remembered that night."
Sandy's gaze remained troubled, but she eventually opened up about what had transpired, something he didn't see coming.
"I- It was Eric," she admitted, her voice trembling with the admission. "Eric came with me to her house."
Spencer was struck by shock and disbelief, his mind racing to process this revelation.
"Eric Adler?"
She nodded in confirmation, and his world collapsed.
Spencer wasn't perfect. He knew that, like anyone else, he could make mistakes. Typically, he accepted his humanity and the occasional errors that came with it. However, now was not the time for him to make any mistakes, not when her life hung on the line.
He felt like a complete idiot. He was renowned for his intellect and now it seemed as if his stupidity was mocking him. The realization of his own oversight infuriated him and a storm of anger surged through his veins. He was mad at himself, seething with frustration. He hastily fished out his phone and sent a message to Garcia.
Find everything you can on Eric Adler. Now.
Turning his gaze back to Sandy, his features shifted to a more grave demeanor. The urgency in his voice was palpable.
"Tell me everything you know."
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Her head was spinning. Y/n groaned at the relentless ache throbbing inside her head. It felt as though a sledgehammer was pounding her skull, every throb sending ripples of pain through her. Her body felt heavy, each limb an effort to move, and her eyelids seemed to be fused.
She managed to shift, and it was at that moment, as her fingers brushed against the coarse bedcover, that she realized she was lying on what appeared to be a bed. The mattress beneath her was surprisingly comfortable, a stark contrast to the chaos inside her head. She shifted again, and after countless attempts, she finally managed to blink her eyes open.
"Took you long enough, Sleeping Beauty."
The voice sent a jolt of panic surging through her, eyes widening as she strained to focus on her surroundings. The room was shrouded in darkness, save for the faint, flickering glow of an old lamp perched on top of a crate. Occasional beams of moonlight pierced through the dusty window panes, casting eerie, uneven patterns on the wooden floor.
The unmistakable scent of hay filled her senses, reinforcing the realization that she was in an old, rustic barn, long past its days of use. The walls, rough and weathered, seemed to close in on her, the space surprisingly narrow with the mattress beneath her positioned by the floor.
But that wasn't what surprised her the most. It was Eric, seated on a wooden chair that had clearly seen better days, watching her intensely with a smile on his face.
"If you hadn't woke up earlier, I would have resorted to my own methods," his smile looked even more ominous. "And I can assure you, you wouldn't have liked it."
Her wide eyes remained fixed on him. What happened to her kind coworker? Or her good friend? This was an entirely different man that she knew of. The eerie smile, so out of place in their past interactions, was etched onto his face like a sinister mask.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" he pondered, leaning forward, his voice carrying an unsettling calmness. In his hand, she now realized, was a glinting knife, pointed at her way. "It's just me, Y/n, I'm no stranger to you."
He wasn't a stranger then, but he certainly was now. She stared at him, a creeping realization dawning as she slowly sat up, her fingers brushing against something cold and unyielding, and her heart sank.
"I wouldn't move too much if I were you."
Her eyes moved to the chain holding her, the metal bolted securely into the wall. It was a thick, unforgiving shackle, the links rough against her skin, the very sight of it sent shivers down her spine. Fear took a firm hold of her, like a vice squeezing her chest, making it difficult to breathe. She trembled, her voice shaking as she finally managed to speak, "W-Why are you doing this?"
"You're seriously questioning me when you should be thanking me instead?"
Her voice wavered as she responded, her fear making way for a touch of anger. "Thanking you for what? Murdering people?"
"They weren't innocent,” he spat, his anger flaring as he glared at her. "You should know better than to act as if you didn't want them dead."
"I didn't," she assured him.
"You resented them."
She let out a shaky breath. "...maybe, but I would never wish any of them harm." Then she choked out, "Why are you doing this, Eric?"
His features softened, his gaze locked onto hers as he leaned closer. "You really want to know the reason?" He held her gaze with a disturbing tenderness as he whispered, "Because I love you, Sweetheart."
Her heart pounded as his words hung in the air. "No, you don't," she quickly responded, her voice laced with a mixture of fear and disbelief. "If you did, you wouldn't have—"
"I said," he pressed on, the knife still pointing toward her, his eyes locked onto hers with an eerie intensity. "Because I love you."
She knew it was best not to provoke someone holding a knife. Instead, she carefully asked, her voice trembling, "Since when?"
"Ever since you started working with us," he replied with a smile that felt more disconcerting than affectionate. "You've always been very special to me."
"Why... why didn't you tell me?"
He shrugged. "I don't know, I was scared of rejection, I guess. You never took any interest in me, and surprisingly I was fine with that, so the only way I could care for you was to be your friend." He grinned, his smile devoid of any warmth. "And kill people who hurt you, of course."
Tears welled up in her eyes, spilling over and streaming down her face. Her trembling lips caught them, the taste of her own despair lingering on her tongue, a bitter flavor that seemed to confine the darkness of the moment.
"Oh, stop crying. They were never good enough for you," he chided. He got up and started to pace in front of her, his words steeped in a delusional justification for his actions. "Your scumbag of an ex? He should've seen it coming. That pervert of a lawyer? Should've cut him into pieces. And Jamison? Well, I honestly think I was doing a favor for everyone who hated him."
He gazed at her with a mixture of pity and disdain as she continued to cry, his expression an eerie blend of false sympathy. "Don't worry, I didn't kill them all..." He let out a sigh. "I took pity on Oliver."
"W-What did you do to him?" She cried, her voice breaking with a mix of fear and desperation.
"Gave him a few stabs, but nothing too serious," he replied casually, waving the knife through the air as if discussing a minor inconvenience. "He'll be fine."
Her heart sank at his callous response. "I thought you grew up together."
"I lied about not being close with him the other day, you know? We were best friends, actually. But that's another story to tell," he admitted, his words revealing a chilling aspect of his twisted psyche. He then glared at her, a mix of frustration and hostility in his eyes. "You seriously need to stop looking at me like that. I spared him, it was only a few stabs."
Anger surged within her, ignited by his disturbingly casual demeanor, and she found herself unable to suppress her mounting fury any longer. "You're fucking sick," she spat.
He took a step forward, his eyes narrowing as he loomed closer. "You shouldn't talk to me like that," he emphasized, pointing the knife at her once more. "You're chained to the wall, I could do anything to you."
She took a deep breath, trying to calm the erratic beat of her heart, though the horror still gripped her like a vice. Her face was etched with a stark, unmistakable expression of fear and disbelief. He rolled his eyes.
"Don't act so scared now, I won't do anything—well, not now, at least," he stated with a laugh, taking a step back, as if he were granting her some temporary respite. "For now... I have yet to finish my vengeance for you."
"V- Vengeance? You think of them as vengeance?" She asked in disbelief. "Oliver didn't even hurt me."
"He kept pestering you when you clearly weren't interested in him, he needed a little lesson," he explained, a chilling justification in his tone. Then he narrowed his eyes at her. "But there is one person who has hurt you recently, and I think we both know who that is."
His words hung in the air like a dark cloud, filling her with a growing sense of dread. Her eyes widened, her voice heavy with desperation. "No! Eric, no, please, don't hurt him—"
"He's not good for you, Y/n. He never will be."
"Eric! Please!" She was beginning to wail, her pleas filled with anguish and despair, as she felt the walls of her world closing in on her. The chains rattled ominously when she moved. "Please..."
"I need to punish him, Sweetheart, he hurt you," he said with a chilling detachment. He gave her a pitiful look. "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows."
"Please—Please don't, Eric," She pleaded desperately, her voice shaking with an overwhelming fear. "No..." She shook her head and sobbed, "Don't h-hurt him... please..."
Her pleas fell on deaf ears, and the disturbing determination in his gaze made it clear that he had made up his mind. He turned around, leaving her in a state of helpless dread. "I'll see you later," he added with a sinister remark. "Don't cry too much while I visit your FBI boyfriend."
As he walked away, the barn's shadows seemed to close in around her. She did exactly the opposite—she relentlessly cried herself to sleep, seeking solace in the safety of her dreams, however fleeting, as she yearned for an end to this nightmare that had somehow become her reality.
>> NEXT PART
a/n: y'all can stop cursing poor Oliver now😭
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samenameastheothers · 1 month
Text
Right Person Wrong Time
✨MDNI✨
Just something I cooked up over the weekend...First time ever writing something like this so pls be nice!
Warnings: Smut, Hate sex (kinda not really), Swearing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Azriel was always there it seemed. 
You didn't think that getting a job with the Inner Court would mean falling in love with and then getting your heart completely crushed by the singular most untrusting male in the entirety of the known planet. Still, here you were, walking up the streets of Hewn City when you felt his presence like an irritating beacon behind you. 
“I thought this was a solo mission Azriel.” You said without turning around, this aggravating babying of you had to stop, you wouldn't give him the satisfaction of meeting him eye to eye. 
“Trust me, If I didn't have to be here I wouldn't be.”  Suddenly the Spy Master was beside you, his deep voice shooting through your core, god you hated that he made you feel that way. Hated that it reminded you of a different time.   
“Rhys thought you might need backup, he sent me.” 
“And why wasn't I, the one leading this investigation, aware of this?” You hiss under your breath, you are angry, Rhysand should've known to send someone else. Keeping your composure so as to not draw a crowd in the most deadly city in Prythian is becoming a much harder feat to accomplish. Not turning and slapping Azriel as you both walk in momentary silence is even harder.
“There wasn’t time to send you a message before you left.” He responds finally with the lame-ass excuse you've heard before. He would say the same about himself when he forgot to tell you he was leaving for weeks on end, you used to have to get all your information from Mor.  
“Then you shouldn't have come, I can handle this alone.”
“The court doesn't think so, not after what happened last time.” 
You whirl to face him, damn the not fully acknowledging his presence bit you were trying to keep up. 
“The Court knows that was not my fault. You know that was not my fault.”
You are inches from the Illiran male now. You look up at him where you stand just around the height of his heart, shooting daggers at the male with your eyes. You can feel his hot breath fanning your face as he glares down at you, his eyes burning with hate. You silently realize how much the winged male despises you now. At the moment you think you despise him more.
“No, I do not know that it wasn’t your fault. And in case you forgot, I am the one who keeps this court secure, so take my close proximity as an investigation sweetheart.” 
Oh, you definitely loath him now, him and the stick up his ass that makes him believe he is so much better than everyone else.  
“Fuck you Azriel.” 
There is about a second before you realize you fucked up, maybe in the months away from him you forgot what pushes him over the edge, but as Azriel grabs you by the wrist and basically drags you down the street, you realize you do remember what pushes him. When he swings open the door to the safe house, slamming it closed as he pushes you up against it, you realize that you wanted to push him to see what he would do. 
“Say my name like that again, I dare you.” 
His voice laced with bitterness, and something else that you didn't want to name quite yet, makes your face heat and you pool under his scrutiny. 
You lick your lips and your eyes betray you as you look down to where his hips pin yours to the door. It's been so long since the two of you have been this close, so long that you've been this close to anyone. It would be a lie to say the burning in your core was still only your anger, it was now replaced with the familiar feeling that only Azriel could give you. 
“Fuck you Azriel.” 
You repeat your words and your head bangs against the wood of the door as you meet his eyes again. You see a thousand emotions pass through his dark eyes until he puts up the wall to his soul again, the wickedness creeping back in. 
“If you wanted it so bad you could've asked earlier baby.” 
He slams his lips into yours immediately hungry, instantly wild, and you return the passion with your own pent-up emotions. You feel everything you've felt for him over the past few months pour out of you and into the kiss. You're not able to stop him as his tongue slides into your mouth, deepening the kiss. There's no hint of kindness from him, just pure sex, as he tastes you again claiming the way you moan into every press of his body and tongue on yours. His hands slide under your legs and he lifts you to make you eye level with him. Azriels shadows glide across your thighs where they sit around his waist, you missed the feeling they gave.
You missed the way his wings shiver every time you tug on his dark curls, and as he breaks his claim on your mouth to start down your neck you know there's no stopping the path of his kisses laying claim to you. His mouth reaches the spot between your jaw and ear and he bites down on the sensitive skin making your eyes roll. His torment of your neck continues until you're on fire, you need more of him like you've been starved of something vital. He attaches himself to your mouth again and starts moving away from the door to the bed in the corner of the small room.
The only time Azriel is clumsy is when he is kissing you, you both slam into furniture and walls making your way over to the bed. He curses under his breath as he knocks over a picture frame and it shatters as it hits the floor. You claw at his leathers undoing the straps you know well as he works on untying the laces on your back, moving together like it was just yesterday you were doing the same daily. He lays you back down on the bed, his shirt stripped from him. On top of you with his skin golden and wings spread, he looks like some god or a fallen angel. He’s going to fuck you, you know in his eyes that there is only one way this ends. You have half a heart to crawl out from under him and leave, but his hands running down your chest feels too good and if you don't look closely you can almost imagine it’s love in his eyes and not hate. You squirm under the path his tongue makes over your sensitive body, heat gathering and begging for some sort of friction in the lower part of your person. His thumbs loop under your waistband and he drags your last pieces of clothing down your legs kissing the goosebumps that form in the wake. His kisses make their way to the inside of your thighs, sucking and biting on your soft skin. You moan his name and run your fingers through his hair when his hands finally reach the spot where you need them most. 
“Fuck baby, you still get wet for me?” his voice husky as his fingers find the slick between your legs pulling away to show you the shine to left on his hand. He brings his fingers to his mouth and sucks on them, moaning deeply at your taste.
“You taste so goddamn good, missed the way your pussy tastes for me.” 
his words slurring as his head dips down to your core. He licks a line straight up your center and you shudder at the feeling. His tongue circling your clit lightly, teasing you, making you move your hips closer to him in response. Begging for more of him. 
“Please Az, don’t tease” you whine, your face flushed and red.
He hums against your clit, sending vibrations through your body. Azriel then starts consuming you, like it's him who hasn't fed in months like it wasn’t he who told you he could never be with you again. He eats you out, harsh and wild and intense, his tongue sparking a flame in your core and feeding it till you’re on the edge of yourself. You feel like you’re burning, pleasure rocketing around you until you're gasping, not able to remember what you were here for. 
Azriel doesn't stop his assault on you for a second, his gaze meets yours when you dare a look at him. His dark curls between your legs thrown over his shoulders, and his half-lidded eyes staring up at you almost send you over the rim of control. You feel the pull to him, his being, as bliss clouds your mind. His fingers feel your entrance, and you watch as his scared hands move into you, stretching and filling as his tongue focuses on your clit. You're a whimpering, moaning mess at this point, your hips bucking up to meet his fingers curling into you. 
 "Come on sweetheart. Let it go, I want to watch you come around my fingers."
Azriel wraps his mouth around you and flattens his tongue against your clit giving you the control to grind down against his face. Your hips roll as you seek more and more friction, more and more of him until stars explode behind your eyelids. Azriel keeps pumping his fingers into you as you ride the wave of your orgasm and only gets up once your breathing is normal again. 
“Az..” you reach for him as he stands above you, you need to please him the way he just did for you. You need to show him that he still means everything. You grab his arm but something is off, you feel too much, emotions are flooding into your mind that are not yours. You meet his gaze the same time you see it, the golden bond connecting you to him, marking Azriel as yours and you as his. The same bond you prayed for a year ago, now forever connected you to the male who has broken your heart. 
“No, this can’t”, your voice breaks, “this can’t happen”
He pulls away from you like you've burned him, tears streaming down your face as he backs away from the bed where you lay. 
“No, it can’t.”  
And then he’s gone.
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allidoishuynh · 1 month
Text
First post or maybe second. I think there's a picture of stuffed animals from like a decade ago. But let's see how this goes.
Jason is having his death day, Danny wants to help. (Xey and xeir are used as pronouns for an alien species for whom English can't really cut it)
The day sucked. It fucking sucked every single year. Every inch of his body ached and screamed in pain with each step, turn, and movement. He could hear the incessant, unending beeping wherever he went. Of course… it wasn't unending. It had very abruptly and very importantly ended, once upon a time. Which led him to the next reason this day, every single year, was so unbearably shitty: the sweats. It felt like he was boiling alive on the surface of the sun and no matter what he did, no matter how he distracted himself, he always remembered why. Why he had to feel this way every year and how each torment served as a memento of that day.
Jason continued walking down the street in the vain hope to clear his head when he heard a voice.
"Yeeeeesh!" A boy said, "I think I can taste that."
As Jason turned, he noticed the boy, thin, no older than 16, with stark white hair, was staring directly at him. Staring at him and slowly walking closer.
"Hey there man," he started, "believe me when I say: I know today sucks. I don't know how badly or what exactly you're dealing with, but I know it's bad."
The teen was now standing right in front of him and yet Jason felt glued to the spot, like something was keeping him there and that the very idea of brushing off this boy and continuing on his horrid stroll would be an act of blasphemy. The boy reached out a hand and placed it gently on Jason's shoulder, giving it a small squeeze. And to his utter shock, Jason didn't shrug it off. In fact, he liked it? For the briefest of moments the aches subsided, the heat receded long enough to feel the cool spring breeze, and the beeping faded into nothing. He could swear even the pits were calm. No wait, they weren't just calm; they were cooing? Pushing him to lean into the young man's touch.
"Mind if I join you?" The boy asked.
"Please…" Jason spoke, somewhere between a whisper and a prayer.
And they started back along the walkway. Jason couldn't help but feel like the world had stopped as they made their way through Crime Alley.
"You know," the stranger began, "there's nothing wrong with asking, 'GOD, why the fuck is this happening to me?'"
"Sure, you know WHY it's happening. But it seems pretty unfair, no? I mean, we go through this absolutely awful thing once, and then we have to deal with the shadows of it once every three-sixty-five for the rest of eternity? That's just brutal."
Jason knew he had trusted every word spoken to him so far, though he couldn't be sure why. But the small, rational voice in his head now confirmed exactly what the subject of their conversation was.
"Well the truth is," he continued "it's not some command by on high. No one made these rules. It's just how the universe operates. I've actually met quite a few others like us, but they didn't live on a rock rotating around a yellow star. One of them lived their whole life on a space station flying through eternity. And yet even they feel this once every so often."
"See, the thing is, humans operate on an annual time scale. We don't feel greatly connected to something that happened exactly 7 or 28 or 30 days ago. But three hundred and sixty five days… and six-ish hours puts us in basically the exact same spot in the universe. You can feel it, the same air blowing in your face, the same setting sun, even the same clothes you were wear-"
Jason collapsed. He felt the air ripped out of his lungs as he coughed and choked and desperately tried to restart his breathing. Everything hurt, everything was hot, and the GODDAMN BEEPING-
And then it was gone. The only thing he felt was a gentle hand rubbing circles into his back. He turned to look up at the… Spirit? God? "Boy" felt wrong now.
"Ope," he said with a look of concern, "so the clothes were a really important part. Starting to get a picture of what's going on here."
Jason gratefully received a second hand positioned on his chest as he was lifted back into a standing position. Then he turned back to his companion and urged him to continue with his eyes.
"Well," he started again, "basically, we live on a yearly timescale. We don't count months or decades nearly the same way. But that's just us, if we were turtles and the only big happening we saw was that every 23 years a squall split the bay we lived in, you and I would have much longer between our episodes. One of the ones I talked to said xey only experienced it once every 91 years when a certain comet makes its pass through the night sky on xeir planet."
"Anyway," he continued, "what I'm trying to say is that the universe is a fucked up place. But it has rules. Action-reaction and all that. So if you want, I can try and help you get through this as someone more familiar with those rules than you are."
"Please," Jason pleaded, "anything that'll help. I just, I just want it to be easier, I don't need it to be gone; I just want it to be bearable."
"Cool," he responded "glad we're operating on more reasonable expectations. But first things first, I'm gonna need to take a closer look at your core and it's not going to be a particularly comfortable experience. Is that okay?"
Jason nodded, though he wasn't quite sure what this being had meant by "core." He just couldn't help but trust it.
That trust felt slightly misplaced when a hand passed directly into his chest and the arm it was attached to shifted to several angles as if searching for something.
"Aha!" Came the exclamation as the hand retracted, now carrying a small red… was that a page? Like from a book?
"Well this looks cool," the being said, "jeez a bad boy with the heart of a poet. Jazz would have a field day. But let me see here… oh! A protection obsession, just like me. Put 'er there bud."
Jason felt a deep reverberation in his chest as he shook hands with the entity. But everything felt wrong, like his very being had been separated from him so quickly and quietly that he hadn't even noticed. It felt as though he might've gone on blissfully unaware if he hadn't seen the page come out of his chest. And then the world returned. The sounds of the city came to life and when Jason looked down, the page was gone and the hand that held it was pressed gently and flatly back against his chest. The spirit reached down to grab Jason's hand before turning to continue down the street. 
After a few minutes, they came to a stop at a park.
"Why are we here?" Asked Jason.
"Dunno," came the reply, "but look closely and I'm sure you'll find the reason."
Jason scanned the park. The homeless resting in the bushes, the trees full of green leaves, several families playing, an old man feeding pigeons, and another walking his dog. His eyes suddenly snapped back to the families. One family. The mother. A young woman with a long, thin scar along her cheek.
He remembered those eyes, that hair. The scar was a fresh gushing wound when he had last seen it, but he remembered that too.
"Her," Jason said, knowing the one beside him understood, "I saved her. Or helped. Back when I was- back before I was- Fuck. Was that a decade ago? Jesus she has a ki-oh man kids. Wait, is she my age? Shit, she seemed so little then."
"Someone you protected," came the voice, "someone for whom you risked your life. Someone who looks at those kids and thanks the universe for putting you on her path every single day."
Jason felt a lump forming in his throat.
"See," the boy started, "I think that's what people forget. Not just other people but us too. It's not about carrying someone through the pouring rain to a hospital. It's definitely not about the praise or detractors or even seeing someone pull through in the end. It's about this. It's about-"
"Seeing them get the chance to flourish," Jason finishes, "watching the world step on them over and over and being there to help them back on their feet the one time it would've been too much on their own. And then knowing they thrived in the end."
"It's hard," the spirit said, "to remember where we really sit in the grand scheme. It can feel like we haven't done anything or that no matter what we do, we'll never be more than one single moment. The reason today sucks every year is important. But it doesn't define who you are or what you'll do. Go visit Mr. Friedrichson at 2:03 today. One of his old tenants is gonna visit and I think you'll enjoy the reminder of why your home is a place worth fighting for, even in spite of the name. Talk to Jenny and Liu. They'll be on 5th Street tonight and they'll talk your ear off about all the good you've done and what it really means to bleed Crime Alley. And can I make one actual request, even if you don't do the other stuff?"
"Of course," Jason replied, "anything."
"Enjoy yourself," the voice spoke, fading as if it was getting farther away. "He's gonna come by as per usual, bearing gifts. But I'm begging you, forgive yourself, even if just for today, and try to enjoy some time with your brother."
"Hey Jason!" Came a call from his other side, "I've been looking all over for you. I got your favorite."
Dick lifted a large brown bag, undoubtedly from the greatest Chinese restaurant in the world… if you asked Jason that is. Jason couldn't help but let a soft smile creep across his face, before quickly hiding behind a groan and a hand pressed into his forehead.
"I can't get one day's peace from you can I?" Jason said as he closed the distance and took the bag.
"Uhh," Dick said, stunned by the more playful remark. "I… I thought you might want some company and I had a free-"
"Thank you Dick," Jason cut in, "I know you take this day off every year and I know you spend it mostly with me screaming and throwing things at you."
"It's not-" he began.
"But this year," Jason continued, "let's do something better."
He lifted the bag to his face and deeply inhaled the fragrant smell of nostalgia and stir fried vegetables.
"You even remembered my special instructions," Jason said, "come on. I know a few places we can go to enjoy this."
Oh boy that was long. Uhh, I hope Tumblr does the whole button to expand this automatically. I kinda only got halfway through what I was gonna say and then burnt out so we skipped Mr. Friedrichson's moment. Anyway have a good one y'all. Oh right, Danny says "bud" and "ope" because he's Midwestern just like me. I don't take criticism (on the Midwestern thing).
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