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#i could’ve sworn I reblogged before
cevansbrat0007 · 11 months
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Back to Sleep
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Summary: Ari has the perfect cure for your insomnia.
Warnings: Smut, Ari Being A Menace, Mentions of Insomnia, Brat!Reader, Spanking, Unprotected Sex, Soft D/s themes, Hand Job (implied), Discussions of Punishments, Bondage (mentioned), Manhandling, Cursing, Minors DNI
A/N: Part of my Sweet Renegades Series. Not beta'd. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!
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“Could’ve sworn I had it in my hand when I walked out.” You mumble as you creep to the edge of your man’s bedroom. Using the flashlight feature on your phone, you scan the room, hoping to see where you’d left the charger for your Kindle.
You eventually spy it laying on the floor next to the nightstand. Holding your breath, you tiptoe back inside, taking special care not to make a sound. The last thing you wanted to do was wake up your bounty hunter. Especially since it had taken you so long to extricate yourself from him and that bed in the first place. 
As much as Ari Levinson said he wasn’t the cuddling type, his actions led you to believe otherwise. When that oversized menace wasn’t sleeping practically on top of you, he was taking up all the space - leaving you with hardly any. 
When you’d pointed that out the other day, he’d simply shrugged and mumbled something about sleeping better when he knew where you were. And then when you responded with it didn’t mean he had to take up the entire bed with you in it, he’d just shrugged again and said: “Well Bird, I reckon the safest place for you to sleep might be right here in my arms then, huh?” 
Stunned, you’d been left with virtually no other option except to agree with his logic. And the smug grin that slid across his handsome features let you know that you’d just lost a pretty major battle. 
But deep down, you really hadn’t cared as much as you might’ve let on. Maybe it was okay for you to like sleeping beside this sweet beast of a man. Especially since you seemed to be doing an awful lot of it lately.
However, that didn’t mean sharing a bed was without its downsides. In fact, you were in the midst of experiencing one right now. Because while Ari appeared dead to the world after a long day of chasing cold leads, you were wide awake. 
Which was unfortunate since you were the type of girl who loved her sleep. And now it looked like you’d be lucky if you got any at all tonight. Well, at least you’d had the forethought to bring along some reading material just in case. 
Maybe in the morning you would ask Ari if he was okay with you leaving a couple books at his place. While you suspected he wouldn’t be thrilled at the prospect of having a stack of romance novels taking up space on his nightstand, you also doubted he would say no. 
If anything, he would more than likely view it as a sign you planned to come back. You were too attached to your books to just abandon them with a man who would never be able to fully appreciate them.    
Once you manage to snag your charger, you quietly make your way back to your man’s sparsely furnished living room. Just the other night you’d brought up the fact that the cozy space could seriously benefit from a splash of color, along with a couple of throw pillows for the surprisingly comfy sofa. Ari’s response that time?  
“Have at it. Credit card is in my wallet. Take the silver, not the blue. Let me know if you wanna go to that one mall the next town over. I hear they’ve got better stores.” He’d said all of that without so much as batting an eye before returning his attention back to his laptop. 
Meanwhile, you'd been so shocked that somebody could’ve knocked you over with a feather. You were starting to find it annoying every time Ari Levinson rendered you speechless.       
You settle on the couch with a soft sigh, your body sinking into the plush cushions as you curl up with your beloved device. While it could never replace the feeling of holding a physical book in your hands, it did still serve a purpose. And right now that purpose was providing a healthy distraction from your anxiety-inducing bout of insomnia.
Powering on your Kindle, you immediately select the first book in Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander Series that also went by the same name. It was one of your favorites, which explained why you were currently in the middle of a much needed reread. 
Before you forgot, you make sure to lean over and hook up your charger. And then you clear your mind, allowing yourself to get lost in the magic of Gabaldon’s highlander epic, set in 1743 Scotland. You immediately pick up where you left off, with James Fraiser on a crusade to rescue his wife who was being held prisoner by the infamous Jonathan “Black Jack” Randall. 
And even though you’ve read this part multiple times, you find yourself getting swept up in the details of the dreamy highlander’s daring plan to save his Sassenach from her twisted captor’s clutches. 
You’re so engrossed in the chaos unfolding on the pages that you almost don’t hear Ari calling for you – your name fading into the chaotic background of the fictional raid on Black Jack’s stronghold. 
“Bird?” 
This time your head snaps up, your mind abandoning the antics of The Dunbonnet and his crew. You adjust your position on the couch, craning your neck as you listen out for whatever it was Ari needed.
“In here.” You reply, your teeth nibbling at your bottom lip. After a moment or two, you’re treated to the sight of a sleepy and disheveled Ari as he comes ambling around the corner sporting nothing but a pair of black silk boxers that left very little to the imagination.
He didn’t know this, but they were quickly becoming your favorite pair. 
“Got worried.” His voice comes out rough as he approaches, squinting as his eyes work overtime to adjust to the light. “Thought you might’ve left. Roads are dangerous this time of night.” He runs a hand through his tousled locks, attempting to brush them out of his face so that he can get a better look at your lounging form. 
Assuming that your oversized Harry Potter t-shirt and panties counted as pajamas. 
“Nope. I’m right here.” You tell him, offering up a sheepish smile. “Just me and Jamie Fraser. Doing our thing.”
“Who?” Ari levels you with a confused gaze, clearly not understanding the reference. “Sweetheart, I’m not gonna pretend to know who that is. But this Jamie guy needs to go find his own woman since it’s high time for mine to come back to bed where she belongs.” He informs you, scratching at an itch along his muscled abdomen.
“But I’m okay right here, Ari.” You do your best to reassure him. “Plus, I can’t sleep. Stupid insomnia. And the last thing I wanna do is keep you up after you’ve had a crazy long day.” You let out a yawn as you innocently stretch your arms overhead, missing just how quickly your bounty hunter’s attention shifts to your breasts as you arch your back.
“Bedtime, Duchess.” He holds out his hand to you, raising a tawny brow when you don’t immediately acquiesce. “Now, please.”
“But I just told you that I couldn’t sleep!” You protest when Ari plucks your e-reader from your grasp and sets it aside so that it can continue charging without interruption. Later, you would appreciate how gentle he always seemed to be with your things. But not right now. 
Right now, you wanted to pout.
“And I heard you, baby. Loud and clear.” He smiles indulgently before leaning down to lift you into his arms, his thick biceps curling around your body as he begins to carry you back to his bedroom. “But as your man, I happen to have the perfect cure for even the worst possible case of insomnia.” 
Winding your own arms around his neck, you decide to give into temptation and bury your face in the crook of his shoulder. Breathing him in, you find yourself reveling in the clean, masculine scent that was all uniquely him.
Ari presses a tender kiss to the top of your head, loving how it makes you giggle. You didn’t know this, but your sweet little laugh was easily becoming one of his favorite sounds. Almost to the point where he often found himself willing to do just about anything to hear it. 
Christ help him when you realized just how much of a sucker he was becoming for you. Some days he felt like he was falling hard and fast without a parachute. Which meant he was bound to be a goner. 
But until then, he was going to do everything in his power to bring you down with him.
Once you both have safely reentered the bedroom, he kicks the door shut with his foot without so much as a second look. He was a man on that mission. And nothing could be allowed to get in the way of seeing to his woman, who was apparently in desperate need of a good night’s sleep.
“I got you.” Ari gently places you down on the bed, ensuring that you don’t bounce too hard or anything like that. Once you’re settled, he makes quick work of relieving you of your top, freeing your breasts to his hungry gaze. 
His rapidly hardening cock twitches inside his boxers as he watches them bounce, your sweet nipples practically begging him to taste. But he stops short of giving-in when he gets a good look at what else you’ve got on beneath that damn shirt.
“What the hell is up with these?” He growls, his fingers finding their way into the waistband of your pink, cotton panties. “And why are you wearing them in my bed?” He cups your chin with his free hand, the pad of his thumb brushing across the softness of your lip. “Did you forget the rule, sweet Bird?”
You feel the blush rising to your cheeks, even as you bite your tongue. Because of course you hadn’t forgotten this particular rule. Although, it would serve him right if you had – especially since he always seemed to have so flipping many of them.
“Well?” Ari asks again, his grip tightening just a fraction. “What’s my rule?”
“No panties in bed unless they’re absolutely necessary.” You rasp in time with the goosebumps springing up along your heated flesh. 
“And are they necessary?” His commanding tone has your nipples pebbling with desire. Whether you liked it or not, your body was slowly training itself to respond to his special brand of dominance. “Or were you just feeling a little disobedient? Hm?”
“I…th–the second one, maybe.”
The look on your man’s face let you know that he’s far from pleased. But perhaps he might at least be willing to allow points for honesty.  
“Take them off and hand them to me.” He temporarily relinquishes his hold, giving you the chance to obey. 
You watch with baited breath as he graciously accepts them before bringing them to his nose and inhaling deeply. A strangled groan escapes his throat as his eyes threaten to roll back in his head, the erotic sound making your increasingly slick pussy flutter with need. 
You force yourself to remain silent as he repeats the action once more, before finally tossing them over his shoulder and returning his attention back to you. 
“Now, be a good girl and turn over on your belly.” 
Pulse hammering in your ears, you only briefly hesitate before doing as he asks. But it’s not until you’re finally in position that true understanding finally dawns. Less than a minute later, you feel Ari’s hand collide with your upturned ass.
“Ow!” You shiver as a delicious wave of heat blooms across your vulnerable cheeks, your hands fisting the covers in preparation for the next blow. Your hips jerk when his hand connects for a second time, your traitorous body growing more and more excited as the anticipation builds. 
And of course you knew what was expected to come next. Your handsome bounty hunter was waiting for an apology. Because it wasn’t enough for you to simply acknowledge your flagrant disregard for his no-panties policy. Oh no. Leave it to your Beast to take things a step farther.
“I’m not hearing anything, little Bird.” Ari lands another smack before pausing his sensual assault in favor of removing his boxers, allowing his heavy cock to spring free. A sight you would’ve been permitted to enjoy had your man not thought it was more prudent to punish you first. “Speak now, unless you’ve made your peace with having a sore ass.” 
Ari had no problem continuing on with your spanking. He could watch that sweet booty of yours dance for hours and still not get tired of it.
“I’m sorry, Sir.” You whimper, rising up to welcome the next slap. “It won’t happen again.” 
Except you both knew that it would. Maybe not necessarily in the form of you wearing certain undergarments when you shouldn’t, but Ari was convinced that it was only a matter of time before you decided to test him again. And when you did, he vowed he’d be ready.
Satisfied with your response, you only have to endure one final blow before he finally sees fit to end your punishment. “Thank you, sweetness. You think you’re finally ready for that special remedy I promised you?”
“Uh huh.” You breathe, feeling grateful when he helps you sit up. By now you can practically feel the sticky wetness seeping out from between your thighs as your core spasms - your empty walls clenching around nothing. You didn’t need to turn on the lights to know that you were making quite the mess. “I promise I’ll be on my best behavior.”
Of its own accord, your hand reaches out to grasp his straining cock, eliciting a sharp hiss from him. He was so fucking big that it was damn near impossible for you to wrap your hand around his impressive girth. Not that your man was complaining or anything. 
In fact, Ari was always so unbelievably patient whenever you took it upon yourself to satisfy him. A true gentleman in every sense of the word. Well…until he wasn’t. 
“You had better.” He grits out as you continue to work him up and down with unhurried, measured strokes. “Otherwise next time I might have to tie you up. Maybe teach you a lesson that way and see if it sticks.”
His head falls back onto his shoulders as you focus on tracing one of his manhood’s more prominent veins with the edge of your thumb, loving the way he shudders beneath your touch. He lets you have your way for a few more minutes, until his skin is flushed and a thin sheen of sweat dots his brow.
That’s when he puts a stop to things, if only because he’s not ready to cum yet. And even if he was, he was the kind of man who believed in putting his woman first. Brat or not. 
“I still think it’s a shame, but whatever you say, Ari.” You giggle, feeling more than a little playful when he gestures for you to get comfortable in the middle of the bed. He soon joins you, the pillow-soft mattress sinking under his weight. 
“Damn right, Duchess.”
Ari doesn’t stop until he’s looming above you, his big body blocking out the moonlight. Right now he looks every inch the predator – from the feral gleam in his eyes to the wolfish grin on his lips. There's little doubt that he plans to leave you deliciously sated by the time the sun comes up.
“Are you mine, Bird?” The question comes on the heels of a seductive purr. Before you can respond, his head dips to take your lips in a gentle kiss. You grant him full access to your mouth after the first brush of his skilled tongue, content to let him take the lead. 
You could be in charge another night.
“Yes.” There was no use in arguing that particular point anymore. You belonged to him for the foreseeable future. And you were okay with that. “But only if you’re mine too.” The unexpected phrase all but leaps out of your mouth before you can think better of it.
Ari immediately pulls away, his eyes darkening with a passion so intense it robs you of breath. “You want me to be yours?” The vicious sound rumbles out from somewhere deep in his chest. “You thinkin’ about keeping me like I am you?”
“Maybe.” You whisper as one of your legs hitches itself around his trim waist, pulling him down on top of you with a slight "oof". “That a problem?” You do everything in your power to keep your tone light, bordering on challenging.
But somewhere deep down you knew that if this moment didn’t go your way, it just might shatter that delicate thing inside you. That part of your spirit that was a little more fragile than you were actually willing to admit.        
“Nope.” Ari responds after a beat. “Perfectly fine by me.” And just like that, you can breathe again.
This time when his mouth finds yours there’s nothing sweet or soft about it. The kiss is a frenzied gnashing of teeth and tongue, with both of you fighting for dominance. One of Ari’s hands dives into your thick curls, wrenching your head back so that he can lavish attention along the curve of your throat, marking you up the way he’s been dreaming about since he walked through the doors of your shop that fateful day.
Ari Levinson was well aware that a woman of your caliber deserved fancy things like flowers and candy and fucking sappy poetry. All things that he was going to do his damnedest to give you. But until he calmed down enough to string a couple sentences together – or at the very least Google some Shakespeare and Bronte – you’d have to settle for a more savage kind of love.   
He grinds his cock against your drenched pussy, both of you groaning in unison as it slides through your messy folds. “Is all this honey for your man, baby?” You feel him smile against your neck before he goes back to gifting you with more love bites before moving on to toy with your pouting nipples. 
Thank goodness you owned a damn good concealer, otherwise you’d have a hell of a time explaining away your new, soon-to-be hickies to your nosey customers. 
“It’s all for you, Beast.” You gasp, as you buck and writhe beneath him. “Need you inside me, please. Want you to fuck me.” It was almost as if you couldn’t stand being without him for even a minute longer. 
That’s all your man needs to hear. Ari pulls away briefly, his breathing slightly labored as he lines himself up with your weeping entrance. “Well, since you asked so pretty.” One quick thrust is all it takes for you to welcome him home, your greedy walls clamping down around his shaft and refusing to let go. “Fuck!”
“That’s it.” You whimper, urging him to move as your heels dig into the small of his back. “Fuck me. Fuck your pussy, baby.” Your bounty hunter is all too eager to comply, pumping in and out of you with several shallow thrusts. 
Eventually, he decides to take pity on you and give you what you really need. Every single incredible inch of his thick, perfectly built cock.   
One of his hands reaches out to intertwine his fingers with yours. Meanwhile, he uses the other to maintain his balance so that he can go deep the way you need him to, letting you feel every sensual movement of his hips.
“Mine.” Ari snarls with each fevered stroke. “All mine, Bird. Just like this tight little cunt.” Your toes curl as he adjusts the angle so that his dick hits your spot just right. Fucking perfect. It’s so good you’ve got fireworks dancing behind your eyes.    
“Ooh!” You cry, raking your nails down his back. Because fuck it. It was only fair that your man bear your marks too. “Oh God, Beast!Please!Oh God, baby.Yes!”
“Never lettin’ you go.” Ari rears back slightly, but he doesn’t stop fucking you. He doesn’t even slow down. Instead he becomes hyper-focused on your connection, seemingly enthralled with the way you accept him every time surges in and out of your wet heat. “Always fuck that sweet ass back to sleep.” He slaps your flank hard, his bruising fingers digging into your thigh. 
“S’close, Ari.” You mewl as the pleasure continues to build, your mind slowly threatening to come undone. “Don’t–don’t stop!”
Thankfully, your man couldn’t…not even if he wanted to. And he really, really didn’t want to. But even as you feel that red hot coil tighten in your belly, you knew he was only just getting started. 
Honestly, you’d be lucky if either of you got any sleep before the night was through. But that was also fine by you. Because you were always ready to go a few more rounds with your man. 
And who knows? Maybe this next time, he’d even allow you to be on top. Or not. Although, you supposed it never hurt to dream. With or without a good night’s sleep.
END
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jaylaxies · 6 months
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KINKTOBER DAY 20 — PHONE SEX
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PAIRING: sub!beomgyu x fem!reader
GENRE/CW: smut, slight dacryphilia, usage of nicknames (pup), guided masturbation, gyu is needy and desperate.
WC: 0.8k words
WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni
A/N: hihi, angels! gyu is literally my favourite sub omg, i hope you all enjoy reading this :3 all likes, comments, reblogs and feedbacks are highly appreciated! iloveyou all <33
✎ kinktober masterlist
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“God, I wish you were here, Gyu.”
The distress was clear on his face, a sweet pout settling on his glossy lips as he whined, tears forming in his eyes, making them look sparklier than usual, big and pleading for you to help him. 
He knew that you’d be back in a week, but it’s too long for the poor pup, who can’t go a day without being in your arms, listening to your sweet praises and proud smile. And right now, he’s heartbroken because he can’t feel your warmth next to him.
It doesn’t help that you’re wearing his favourite lipstick, the one he loves to be marked up with, sitting in a hotel room, all naked yet not giving him the access to see anything more than your cleavage on the FaceTime call. 
“Be a good pup, Gyu. Touch yourself for me, hm?” Your voice comes out smooth, eliciting a whimper out of him. 
He looks beautiful, keeping his phone upright and stable, letting you get the full view of his milky soft skin and leaking cock, which he fucks using his fist, thrusting his hips up pathetically, the sight so beautiful you couldn’t help but touch yourself, hiding the view from Gyu. 
He wanted to see you, he wanted to touch you, please you. He couldn’t, and that had him trembling, gripping the sheets with his free hands, doing all you ordered him to, just to have a glimpse of your body. 
He’s desperate. 
A stray tear left his eyes, cascading down his flushed cheek, lip swollen with how hard he was biting it. 
“That’s it, that’s my pretty baby,” you coo, and he smiles shyly, always in need of praise. He loved it when you called him pretty, the red adorning his cheeks made it all worth it. 
“Your p—pretty baby,” he managed to speak, hiccuping when you reward him by adjusting the angle of the phone enough for him to see your tits. 
You could’ve sworn he started drooling, crying freely now, hating being deprived of your touch, his eyes fixated on your hardened nipples, “m—mommy,” a broken sob left his lips. 
“Good pup, show me your pretty little cock now,” you commanded, and he was fast to pick up the phone, bringing it close to his edging cock. 
“I need you so bad,” he cried out, thumb playing with his tip, collecting and smearing the leaking cum all over his cock. The sight was beautiful, his lip wobbling, as he begged for more. 
He’d always been desperate, trailing behind you like a lost puppy since the day you first fucked him, avoiding eye contact while asking you for more to becoming the neediest little doll for you, pliant and sweet, but can also be bratty when he wants to be punished (which he quite frankly tends to enjoy).
“Two days more, pup. You can wait that much, right?” You asked, eyebrow raised, knowing well he’d shake his head, another tear falling down his cheek. 
“C—can’t! I miss you,” he cries and lord, he is a pretty crier. 
You smile, praising him for being such a good boy, helping him calm down a little, “use your stuffie, hm? It’ll help you feel better,” you suggest, and he nods fervently. 
He doesn’t waste any second, grabbing the little stuffie before he starts humping, moans getting louder as he closes his eyes, trying to envision the stuffie as you instead. It smelled like you, courtesy of your perfume which he sprayed before you left for the trip. 
You loved it, just how willing he was to follow all your orders, just to get a glimpse of your body. With his eyes closed now, you found this to be the perfect opportunity to reward your needy pup, settling the phone a little far, enough to show your body on the screen, “open your eyes, baby,” you whispered. 
It was a sight for sore eyes. 
His eyes widened, heart beating out of his chest when he took you in. Your body glowing under the dim lights of your room, bare and beautiful, all for his eyes. He could barely breathe anymore, having held back himself for so long, and seeing you was his last straw. 
His cock twitched uncontrollably, lips parted as he moaned, not caring for the neighbours who would hear him, all he could do was cry out your name, making a mess all over the stuffie he was humping, a few drops of cum reaching his phone as he went limp, too tired to move, still managing to get the phone close to him, just to see you smiling at him proudly. 
“Such a good pup, so pretty, all fucked out for me, hm? Gonna reward you when I come back for being so good,” you coo, and he blushes, warmth spreading in his chest. 
He couldn’t wait for you to come back. 
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© jaylaxies | tumblr
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sparkrls · 2 months
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set a love alight
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MASTERLIST
part of the bandmates! harry x yn au
Summary: in which Y/N makes mistakes and Harry remind her she’s only human
Author’s Note: just needed some emotional Y/N with sweetheart Harry. remember to like and reblog because i crave validation. love ya <3
Word Count: 1.3k
•••
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Y/N cursed, pushing past the mess of wires and equipment backstage and pushing through the door of the emergency exit. The door swung open, slamming against the brick wall before clicking shut again.
Kicking at a small rock in the gravel, Y/N tried to release her fury. A choked sob escaped her raw throat, the burning reminding her of the fatal mistake she’d made that night.
Ambition had been her downfall. She’d let herself be overly confident in her abilities and had reached too high, her wings scorched by the sun.
Y/N fell to the ground. She didn’t bother to sit down gently, simply just letting her knees give out beneath her. She curled her knees up to her chest, hugging them and linking her hands together.
The hem of her skirt rode up, reaching her upper thigh. Usually, she might tug it down, but she was a bit too busy crying to even think about something so trivial like her skirt.
A pair of hands settled on her shoulders. Y/N was startled at the sudden touch. She could’ve sworn she was alone.
Eyeliner and makeup smudged from crying, Y/N looked up to find that Harry was crouched in front of her, his gaze soft and warm. She quickly tried to wipe her tears away, but he caught her wrists and pulled them down to her sides.
Harry’s voice was soft, barely a whisper, “Baby. It’s okay.” He was handling her like shattered glass, doing his best to not slit his hand while picking up the sharp fragments. “I’m here.”
Y/N didn’t like for people to see her cry. Not only was she an ugly crier, but she hated when people saw her so vulnerable. It felt wrong. And she didn’t cry often anyways. But when she did, it was messy and wild.
“I screwed up,” Y/N whispered, hating how her voice broke when she was barely audible. A pool of shame gathered in her stomach, weighing her down and suffocating her.
Harry sat down next to her, his arm wrapping around her shoulder. He leaned forward to meet her eyes. “Yeah. You did. And?”
“And?” She said, her voice raising a bit. “And I humiliated myself. I was so fucking bad.”
“You were nervous and you made a mistake,” Harry said steadily, his voice never raising. “It happens to the best of us.”
“I shouldn’t have taken that solo,” Y/N said with the shake of her head, another tear spilling against her will.
They had decided to perform their new song, ‘Set A Love Alight’. Y/N and Harry had written it just three weeks ago, and they decided to play it at this gig they’d booked at the bar they regularly played at, 17 Black.
After a long time of reluctance and hesitation, Y/N had decided to do the song as a solo. Up until now, Harry was always the one singing. Occasionally, Sarah or Mitch would sing a verse or two, but for the most part, Harry was the vocal powerhouse. Everyone liked it that way, everyone felt comfortable.
And Y/N had never dared to sing anything except backing vocals. And for the last few months, Harry had been trying to convince her to sing at least one verse of a song. He’d hyped her up, encouraging her to do so and telling her how amazing her voice was about a million times.
After a long time of pleading, Harry’d gotten what he wanted and more. Y/N took on the burden of an entire song. And tonight was not only the debut of the new song, but also of her voice.
Weeks of rehearsals had fallen down the drain when Y/N started singing and her voice came out shaky with nerves. Her hands were shaking and she didn’t hit the right chords on the guitar. And her lungs started constricting, making it hard for her to complete the lines without gasping for air. And all of this combined into the messiest performance the band had ever performed.
At the end of the song, Y/N was holding back tears and the small amount of people paying attention to the band clapped politely, but she heard the whispers of judgement. And when she turned to look at the band, the three of them were looking at her with pity in their eyes.
That was how she’d rushed off stage, thrusting her guitar into the hands of someone she passed by, possibly even a bystander just walking by. She didn’t even look at their face before walking out in tears.
“Love, you’re a good singer,” Harry said with a small sigh, caressing her cheek with his thumb. Her eyes fluttered shut. “You got nervous. It happens to everyone. You just have to learn how to control those nerves, that’s all.”
Y/N took a shaky breath, holding back a sob. “I made everyone look bad.”
Harry let out a small laugh. Y/N opened her eyes to glare at him. He rushed to say, “Baby, I wasn’t making fun of you, I swear. I just… I’ve made countless mistakes on stage. My voice has cracked, I’ve missed high notes, I’ve mixed up verses, I’ve sung off-key. But my mistakes don’t take away from my talent.” He pulled her forward to hug her. “Not to toot my own horn, but I’m a good singer. Because I was persistent and a hard worker. I didn’t give up even when I had moments where I sounded like shit and thought I had humiliated myself to a degree no other human being ever had.”
Y/N took a deep breath. “I don’t know how you do it.”
“Which part?” Harry asked, curiously. He was ever as bright as always, but so soft and gentle. He was a sweetheart above anything else.
“Getting on stage and giving an amazing as fuck performance each time,” Y/N said. She shook her head. “You’re amazing, H.”
Harry shrugged. “It’s what I know how to do. I’ve done it my entire life. The same way you always play the guitar ‘amazing as fuck’.” He scrunched his nose up at her as he mocked her words. She let out a small chuckle. He smiled, pleased at himself. He always pulled a smile out of her. “It takes time and experience. I promise next time you get on stage to sing you’ll be better. Not perfect, just better. And someday, you won’t even remember tonight as anything more than just another story to tell and laugh at.”
Y/N pursed her lips, silent for a moment in thought. He was right. He always was.
Somehow, Harry always managed to make the tears seem like just another silly hurdle to jump over. The world seemed so much easier to face when he spoke about it so simply.
And with Harry holding her in his arms, who wouldn’t be ready to take on anything the universe threw her way?
Harry let out a small sigh, running his fingers through her hair. “You’ll be okay, love.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
Harry always took care of her with love. Not as if she were fractured sharp glass, but as if she were a bouquet of flowers you settled into a vase with care as to not let a single petal drop.
And Y/N wished she were as sweet as him. She wished she could be as good and pure as he was, to give him the affection he needed. The care he gave her was the kind he should be receiving.
“I love you,” Y/N whispered, starting off with something small to remind him of her love.
Harry smiled, as if she’d made some grand declaration of love and hung a star in the night sky for him. “I love you too.”
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shelby-fangirl00 · 11 months
Text
Empty Spaces-Part one
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Warnings: (MINORS DNI, 18+), age gap, cheating, language, mutual masterbation
Im super excited to make a second part for this one. Please let me know what you think! Its means the world to me to see you guys comment and reblog my work! Enjoy!
Word count: 3055
—-
‘I refuse to let you make me as miserable as you are! Are you even fucking listening to me?!’
The muffled argument between Thomas and his wife became clearer and clearer as you made your way up the winding staircase. You knew that at any moment, one of them would come storming out, but you were admittedly interested in the family you worked for, especially Thomas Shelby. 
Thomas and his wife were constantly bickering at each other like this, it was nothing new. You stared up into the hallway, seeing the glow of their shared bedroom from underneath the door, shadows pacing back and forth rapidly. 
‘For Christ’s sake, then fucking leave!’ his loud demand carried through the hallway, like you were the one being scolded. 
You scurried down the staircase as you heard the door creak open. Before seeing who left the room first, you were already half way down the stairs. 
                                              
‘They’re at it again today. It’s only morning too. That’s a new record!’ Francis whispered from behind you in the kitchen as you were cleaning up after breakfast. 
You turned to give her a hushed giggle. This was a bit of a running joke at the Arrow House between some of the maids.  Everyone who worked here knew all about Mr. and Mrs. Shelby’s arguments. They seemed almost constant for the past few weeks. 
‘Yeh, it’s not stopping anytime soon, I bet, either. I’ll even bet ya it’ll start back up tonight too.’ 
‘Well, that’s not very fair betting, is it dear?’ She smiled in your direction before coming up beside you, helping you dry the wet dishes off. 
‘Francis…what is it that they’re always fighting about anyways?’ You asked reluctantly, still feeling curious of the mysterious and very handsome man you were working for. 
Without looking up from her working hands, she sighed out, furrowing her brows in frustration of the exhausting situation. 
‘Well, from what I can tell…Mr. Shelby is gone quite often, late in the night. And when he is here…well I suppose he tends to…neglect Mrs. Shelby…if ya know what I mean.’ She whispered again.
You tried to hold back a grin. 
‘So, he’s not fucking his wife?’ You blurted out, without thinking. 
Frances hit you playfully on the arm, pressing her finger to her lips to shush you. She couldn’t help but giggle along with you. You held your hands up in defense, stopping yourself from saying any more.
Just then, you both heard the front door shut. Almost as if she had been caught, Francis jumped up, startled. 
‘Would you mind getting his coat, dear?’ 
You gulped harshly and reluctantly sat down the damp dish towel to scurry towards the door. 
Thomas and you had only spoken a few times briefly, when you were first hired. Mostly, you took orders from Francis and Mrs. Shelby. 
‘Good morning, Mr. Shelby.’ You said softly, avoiding his eyes. 
He said nothing as he shrugged his heavy coat off. You took it from him before asking if there was anything he needed, still avoiding his eyes. 
‘That’s the most you’ve said to me since you’ve been here.’ He chuckled under his breath, making your face turn red in embarrassment.
You peered up at him, surprised that he even acknowledged your presence. He was staring back at you, waiting for a reply. 
‘Sorry about that, I’m a bit shy I suppose.’ You laughed softly, looking back down at the embroidered carpet that you both stood on.
‘Shy, eh? I wouldn’t have been able to tell. Not by the way you were talking with Francis.’ He said plainly, placing his hands in his pockets, standing a bit more defensively in your direction. You could’ve sworn his eyes dropped to your chest.  
You stared up, completely dumbfounded. Embarrassment and shame washed over you. You immediately recalled the specific comment you had just made about him not fucking his wife. You felt like crawling into your bed and hiding in the sheets forever. 
How did he hear that? Was he listening in on us secretly? Why was he listening to us?  You thought. 
‘Mr. Shelby I am so sorry. I-I didn’t think you were home and I-
It’s alright, love, doesn’t bother me. My wife on the other hand…I wouldn’t let her catch you talking like that. She’s under the impression that you are a well-behaved girl.’
Girl. 
The way he used the word to describe you was disappointing. You were newly 22 and Mr. Shelby was much, much older than you were, doubling you in age. You were just a girl to him. You secretly wished he didn’t think of you as a child. 
He began to walk towards his office, but the words practically pushed their way out of your mouth before you could think. 
‘Who said I wasn’t a well-behaved girl?’ You asked him, making him stop abruptly, obviously surprised that the help was questioning him. 
He spun around, with a devious grin on his face before he, more obviously this time, dropped his eyes to the curve of your body, letting his pretty blue eyes linger a little longer than expected. Your breath hitched as goosebumps covered your thighs. 
‘You’ve been working in my house for two months now. I know all about the people I choose to work for me. You come from a nice catholic family, right outside of Small Heath. You’ve got an older brother who died at the Somme. Parents still live close by. So don’t think that I haven’t had you figured out.’ He laughed, tilting his head slightly.
So many thoughts swirled around your mind. What the fuck did that mean? Had he been watching me? Did he know about my eavesdropping? He actually knew who you were? Was my attraction and curiosity towards him obvious? What else did he know about me?
Before you could even respond, he turned on his heels and strutted back to this office, obviously satisfied with the flustered state he had left you in.
                                        ----
‘Dear, Mrs. Shelby is leaving for a few weeks to visit family. I need you to help her pack her bags and bring them out to the front room to be loaded in the cars. Make sure she has enough for a month, just in case. 
She was leaving? And maybe for an entire month? This house was going to feel strange without all of the yelling between the two of them. Would Mr. Shelby even be around? Maybe he would be around more.
                                   -----
Over the next week, Mr. Shelby did in fact, spend more time in his home with his wife gone. It seemed eerily quiet though. He was always tucked away in his office. You both exchanged glances when you would pass by him in one way or another. You tried to hide your nervousness around him. 
One night in particular, your nerves were through the roof as Francis told you that Mr. Shelby asked for you in his office. You couldn’t think of why on earth he would want to meet with you, especially this late in the evening, when you were almost off for the night. Was he going to fire you?
You knocked twice lightly on the high doors of his office. 
‘Come in.’ You heard his voice boom through the door. 
With shaky hands, you reached for the handle of the door and pressed down, opening it to the dimly lit room. 
‘You asked for me, sir?’ You practically whispered, not daring to step a foot further into the room. 
‘Shut the door.’ He said lowly, not looking up from whatever he was scribbling down at his desk. Once he was done, he threw his glasses off his face and onto the papers in front of him, standing up. 
‘You drink whiskey?’ He said, walking over to the cart of liquor by his desk. 
‘Uhm…if you’re offering, thank you.’ You said as he was already walking towards you with a glass in hand. 
He extended his hand to give it to you. He watched your eyes as you took the glass and smiled softly. 
You threw back your glass, handing it back to him instinctively. He raised an eyebrow at you and chuckled, a bit surprised by your eagerness. 
‘Is there something I can do for you, Mr. Shelby?’ You said a little more clearly now, the liquid courage creeping through you. 
He studied your face, studied your actual voice without the shyness masking you. You studied him back too, examining his broad shoulders and chest through his button down. 
‘I saw you listening in on me and my wife’s conversation the other night. I came out of the room to see you running down the stairs. I guess I’m just curious as to why you’re so curious.’ He said plainly as he handed you another glass. 
Your stomach dropped as you had been caught. You sank back the drink again, before answering.
‘I-I’m sorry sir, I had no right.’ You whispered, looking down at the floor. 
‘I’ve also seen the way you watch me, like you’re curious about me, too. Are you?’ He asked. 
‘I…I suppose I am, yes.’ You couldn’t stop yourself now.
He closed the space between you both, standing chest to chest. 
‘How old are you?’ He breathed out, lust dripping from his voice. He pushed the hair from your face behind your ear. 
’22.’
He held back a low groan, searching your face.
‘So, what are you curious about? Don’t be shy…I’ll know if you’re lying.’ He sternly said, making your back straighten. 
You were curious about everything. Growing up in Small Heath, you had always known of The Peaky Blinders and the infamous Tommy Shelby (before he became this fancy politician).
But you knew nothing of who he really was. But the question that burned deep down inside of you was the one of his marriage. 
‘Is it true…about you and Mrs. Shelby?’ You let the words fall out, there was no turning back now.
He chuckled lightly, seemingly knowing you would ask.
‘My wife and I haven’t been together in a very long time.’ Confirming your deepest suspicions, he knew exactly what you were asking.
‘Why not?’
His eyes bored through you as he was deep in thought.
‘That is a question that couldn’t be answered in a night.’ Obviously not wanting to talk about it anymore. 
You stood in silence for quite some time. 
‘I think it’s my turn for you to answer a question.’ 
You swallowed harshly, as you decided to pass him to pour yourself a third drink before he asked. He giggled at your nervousness. 
‘Are you a virgin?’ His voice raised in question, hands stuck behind his back. 
You nearly choked on your drink as he asked this. You coughed out as you set down the glass. 
No, you weren’t a virgin, technically. You’d been with one boy back home before and it was disappointing, to say the least. You had never told anyone about it though, nobody had ever asked. 
‘Is that what you think?’ You said sarcastically. 
‘A bit, yeh.’ He smiled shyly.
‘No, I’m not. Some boy from back home said all the right things one night, I suppose.’ You looked down, immediately embarrassed by your honesty.
‘So only once before?’ 
‘Yes.’
‘Hm.’
                                    -------
You excused yourself from the conversation shortly after, practically running to your designated room upstairs. You quickly closed the door behind you, plopping face first into your pillows. He knew exactly what he was doing to you and it was working. He had you so worked up that you had to excuse yourself. You stopped yourself from confessing everything you wanted him to do to you. You thought about his voice, the sinful things he could whisper to you. The image plastered in your head of him undressing you and relieving the built-up tension between your legs. 
You involuntarily let your legs fall open, hiking up your small black dress. 
Your hands fell between your legs as you imagined his beautiful face in the darkness of your room. You moaned out softly as your fingers frantically rubbed the swollen nub that rested above your folds. Your fingers were soaked wet as you collected the slick coming from your tight hole. 
Getting lost in the heat of your thoughts, you pulled the top of your dress down to expose your hardened nipples, squeezing them harshly, drawing a whimper from your mouth. You wished your own hands were Tommy’s.
From the other side of the hall, Tommy walked by your bedroom door, stopping as he heard muffled sounds coming from of the other side. In a childlike way, he pushed his ear up to your door, hearing more clearly the types of moans you were releasing from inside, making it obvious to him what you were doing on the other side of the door.  
He smiled slightly, knowing that he was the reason behind this. His cock hardened from beneath his pants as he listened to you moan out. 
Too lost in your own thoughts and chasing your orgasm, you hadn’t noticed your door creaking open and shut as Tommy had entered the darkness of your room. 
He watched you in your most vulnerable state, palming himself through the fabric of his own pants. Your panting quickened as you became closer to the edge. Your right hand rubbed your clit frantically, legs fully spread open, while your other hand squeezed and pulled at you exposed nipple. 
‘Oh fuck…Thomas please….’ You quietly cried out to yourself, not realizing the one you called out for was standing right in front of you. 
‘Yes?’ Said a low voice from in front of you. 
Your eyes shot open as you jumped up, clenching your legs together and gasping loudly, you frantically covered yourself up. 
‘What the fuck are you doing here?!’ You yelled out, face flushed with embarrassment.
‘Please don’t stop on my account.’ He giggled, coming closer to the bed, you could see his face more clearly now. 
The liquor from earlier became warm in your stomach again as your body filled with excitement. 
‘W-What?’
He stood above you, without saying a word. He slowly unzipped his own pants, slowly releasing his hard cock from his pants. Your mouth fell open in surprise at the length of him. You couldn’t even fathom what was happening. 
‘I said…don’t stop.’ His voice dripped with lust as his eyes searched yours before they fell between your legs, signaling you to open them again. 
Without thinking and caught up in the fuzzy feeling in your head, your legs slowly fell open, exposing your glistening center to him. He groaned in satisfaction as his cock twitched in excitement. 
He came up beside you and held out his open hand in front of your mouth. You looked up at him in confusion. 
‘Spit.’ His thick accent sent a shiver through your spine as he commanded you. 
 You looked up innocently at him as you spit into his large hand. As you did, he licked his lips. ‘Good girl. Now keep rubbing that little pussy for me, ok?’ He said softly from above me. 
You shook your head yes as your hands fell back to your clit as he brought his wet hand down to stroke his own cock, watching the movements you made between your legs.
You looked up at him longingly as he stroked up and down his cock, his head falling to his shoulder to get a better view of you. 
 ‘That’s it Love, just like that.’ He panted out roughly, shooting sudden shocks of pleasure through you.
Feeling more confident from his encouragement, you sat up, pulling your dress above your head, now completely naked. He panted softly as you did. You scooted to the side, spreading your legs open again right in front of him, allowing him to marvel at every inch of your body. 
‘Such a pretty little cunt, all soaking wet for me…’ He sighed as his strokes became more rapid. His knees hit the side of your bed as he loomed over your naked body, your knees rested against his tight stomach. 
Your walls clenched onto nothing, longing for him to fill you up. 
You reached down with your other hand to slowly stick two fingers into your pussy. You pumped them in and out with ease as you continued to work at your clit. You were so close to your release.
‘Fuck Tommy…I’m so close.’ You moaned out, squeezing your eyes shut in pleasure, focusing on that feeling. 
‘I am too…wait for me love. I’ll tell you when to come.’ He instructed, using his other strong hand to grip your warm thigh. 
The contact set your body on fire. You didn’t know how much longer you could hold on. 
‘Shit, Tommy…. Please let me come, please…’ You whimpered as you watched his strokes become sloppy, the tendons in his forearms and biceps flexed as he started to come undone. 
‘I’m gonna come all over you. Come all over this needy cunt of yours, yeh?’ He panted.
Your walls clenched down and your back arched up as you came hard around your fingers. Your insides filled with a warmness that you hadn’t felt in a long time. 
Just as you did so, Tommy came all over you, ropes of his hot liquid splattered across your heated mound and your bare tummy. He marveled at the sight of himself covering you in his release. His mouth hung open and his eyes never left your body. 
You sat up on your elbows, watching as he did so. 
His hand reach down to collect some of the mess onto his large finger, bringing it to your mouth. You sucked and tongued at his finger, making him groan again and his cock twitch once more before softening. 
‘You did such a good job for me.’ He whispered into your ear and he leant down to kiss your exposed neck, sending a shiver through you again. He pecked at your skin lightly before pulling away. 
He adjusted himself into his pants plainly as you laid there, still naked and covered in cum. You were too stunned to move.
He smiled down at you, studying your eyes and the state he had left you in once more before reaching for your door knob. 
‘I’ll see you in the morning, love.’ He exclaimed with a wink before shutting the door behind him. 
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jaennwrites · 1 year
Text
Little things | Captain John Price x f!reader
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feels like I'm the only person obsessed with this man, so I'm doing a service to all the Captain Price lovers fr.
summary: an eventful morning with Price :) cw: established relationship, smut, size kink (kinda), unprotected sex, praise, slight violence, aftercare, L-bombs (i think that's all of them or at least the major ones) word count: 2,615
ofc reblogs and comments much appreciated :)
You woke up to the sun gently warming your face although causing major obstruction to your vision. Lazily using your arm to shield your eyes from the sun but it only helped so much so you opted to just turn away, only to be reminded of the man you were sharing a bed with.
John Price…your captain.
You couldn’t specifically remember the first time you both slept together but the pattern eagerly ensued almost every time you both got the chance. 
It was indeed a privilege to be able to see the captain so relaxed, you seemed to always wake up before him so you would always have the chance to examine his face and it was as if you always found something new. 
Today was the prominent stubble growth, typically Price had always made an effort to shave his uniquely styled beard that you had a crazy infatuation with, but he has been really busy recently. Last night was the first time in 3 weeks that you guys had the chance to sleep together, you will admit that he made sure you knew that he was sorry.
You halted all movements as John stirred in his sleep but he soon calmed down and was quietly sleeping again. You noticed he always slept on his back as well, maybe that's why his face was so perfect.
You contemplated the risky move you were going to take but took it not caring if John awoke. You carefully pulled the blanket off of him, stopping a few times so as to not wake him. Soon enough his entire bare torso was visible allowing you to view one of your favorite things about John.
His scars.
Your favorite being a medium slash on his right arm that he got on a mission with you. You two had been running away after being overwhelmed by a cartel you can’t bother to remember the name of and he had found a fence that led to an abandoned part of the town. You urged him to go first but he firmly denied, he pulled the fence open and pushed you through first, but that’s not how he got the scar.
There were multiple enemies following behind you two and you hadn’t thought that they would be able to catch up in time but they did, but instead of Price allowing you to help him fight, he zip tied the fence closed knowing you had lost your knife in an earlier fight. 
He pushed you away and demanded you run towards an abandoned house, promising that he would meet you there. You ran hesitantly at his request and of course he met back up with you, rewarding you with a kiss on the top of your head but also with the scar that you’ve grown to love. 
“You’re a creep” A deep accented voice spoke ripping you from your silent trip down memory lane 
“No” You poorly defended resting your head on his chest as you looked up at him 
“Oh?” He hummed looking down at you 
“Oh” You repeated in an answering tone 
“I could’ve sworn I fell asleep with the blanket over my chest” He teased 
“Bad memory” You smiled 
The way John looked at you was intoxicating but this morning the look was different, it seemed somewhat sad in your opinion.
“I don’t like that look” You joked wrapping your legs with his so you could be closer 
“What look?” He questioned closing his eyes 
“Like a high school boy about to break up with his girlfriend before they start college” You joked 
“Secondary school” John teased 
You rolled your eyes playfully before sighing knowing that Price would never tell what was so clearly bothering him, you were just hoping it wasn’t you. You went to get up from his bed but his arms stayed tightly wrapped around you.
“Am I not allowed to leave?” You teased 
“Last night was the first time in weeks that you slept in my bed…” “You’re not getting away so quickly” He spoke with his eyes still closed 
You let out another sigh before turning your attention to the resting man, hell if he wasn’t going to let you go, you might as well keep “creeping”.
You stared at his closed eyes trying to remember the vibrant blue that continued to surpass your memories every time he opened his eyes. If you were an idiot you would admit that you were practically in love with the man, oftentimes you found yourself wishing he’d randomly come up to you and say that he loved you too. 
“What?” John questioned sweetly as one of his eyes peeled open to meet yours
“I’m not even doing anything” You defended with a small laugh 
You playfully huffed making another attempt to escape Price’s arms but once again his hold remained tight. He pulled you on top of him before placing a soft kiss on your lips giving you a smile after.
“Can you stop being so eager to get away from me?”  “Breaking my heart” He joked 
“Let me get on you then” You teased sitting up
“That sounds nice” John spoke as a smirk creeped onto his face 
His hands trailed from your hips slowly, simultaneously pulling off his oversized shirt you wore. You breathed in deeply at the feeling over cold air on your now bare torso.
John was a major “boob” man, the infatuation he had with your breast could entertain you for centuries. You couldn’t hide the smile that spread across your face as you watched his large hands go to your chest like magnets. 
You let out a sigh of contempt as you relaxed into the feeling of his rough hands massaging your chest. He used a hand to guide you down before happily taking turns sucking your nipples and leaving hickies on the soft skin of your breast. 
John always opted for hickies on your chest or just about anywhere that wasn’t visible, he wanted you to remember him but professionalism still needed to be maintained, he was still your captain.
“You’re obsessed” You teased prying his mouth off of your chest 
“You have perfect tis, what can I say” He defended moving his kisses to your mouth once again 
Your hands cupped his face with a slight smile forming as you felt all his facial hair. Your hips slowly grinded on his; filled with excitement for what was inevitably about to come.
“Fucking hell (british ppl talk tee hee)” John groaned placing his large hands on your rocking hips
“Captain” You teased sitting up knowing John went crazy for your little “performances” 
You smiled at your success to get the Brit so riled up as he wrapped an arm around your waist before flipping you over so that he was now hovering over you.
“I hate when you tease me” He defended 
“Liar” You hummed 
Price often had a funny habit of dropping most of his weight on top of you, whether you were just joking with each other in bed or he was ramming into you, he loved doing it and to be honest you didn’t really mind.
“Fuck you” You joked hoarsely as he dropped his body weight onto you 
He smiled propping himself up, freeing you of his weight, but he just stared down at you, once again with that somber look you noted before.
“What is it?” You asked searching his eyes as if to find an answer 
“I love you” John spoke 
He loves you.
“What?” You asked in disbelief but only for the best reasons
Captain John Price…loved you, you knew he cared about more than he’d ever admit, but this reserved man who always pushed you forward first, always questioned your comfortability, praised you ability…of course he loved you.
“I don’t want to scare you off” “I love you, and I want you to know that I care for you, all that sappy stuff” He joked placing a gentle kiss on your lips 
“I love you too John” You smiled
Price smiled down at you before kissing you again, you felt his hand descend under the blanket you two laid under, he pushed your legs open before fitting himself into the space he had made. A soft moan escaped your mouth as you felt his hard bulge prod at your exposed wet slit.
“Tell me” “Tell me you want it” He teased covering your neck with wet kisses 
“I want you” “Please” You begged shamelessly 
Price placed a kiss on your lips before freeing his leaking erection from his boxers. He looked at you amusingly as his large tip prodded your entrance. 
He was big all around, in every aspect of the word, whether it was his height, his general build, or wickedly enough, his dick. 
“Ready?” He asked covering his tip in your wetness
You nodded eagerly which made him laugh a bit but soon enough your eyes were fluttering closed as Price pressed into you with a deep groan. You placed one hand on the side of his face as you kissed him to remedy the fiery sensation of him stretching you out. 
“I love you” You moaned into his mouth 
Price smiled down at you taking in the sight of you, the marks on your tits, the way they bounced which each of his thrusts, the way your free hand gripped the bed sheets, everything about you was arousing, even when he wasn’t pounding into you.
The burning hunger that overtook his body when he saw you simply holster your gun, when you put on a mask, when you waked, hell even when you spoke to him. Everything about you always made him want to tear your clothes off and sink his dick into you.
Your legs involuntarily closed as John sat up making his thrust harder and faster, this was a common occurrence and every time your body began to tap out, he took it as a challenge to push you over the edge of stimulation.
“Open them”  “Or I’ll make it worse” He teased stopping his motion
“Just…” You began but just like every other time you didn’t know what to say, you didn’t want a break, you didn’t want him to stop…you just didn’t know 
“You know the safeword” John spoke placing his hands on your knees that were still shut 
When you and Price first hooked up, you saw the above average size of him which resulted in the agreement of a safeword and you were sure of the decision after having sex with him. You both decided on just saying his call sign ‘Bravo Six”, there was already a serious connotation attached to the words so it made sense to use it for a serious situation.
You obliged and opened your legs with instant regret as you saw the familiar smirk of a man who was about to drop half his weight on you.
“Stop” You warned attempting to be serious but the smile creeping up on your face assured Price that you were not.
His pace began again and you paid no attention to the shenanigans that Price planned on pulling, because you loved when he fucked you like this. When his face was so close to yours, his forehead resting on yours, being able to feel the vibrations of his groans on your face.
“Fuck” You moaned as Price’s heavy body pressed down onto you 
“I love you” “You’re mine” “I’ll fucking kill armies for you” He groaned before placing a rough kiss on your parted lips 
John lifted up his body allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist as your body scoured for more of him which he was glad to give you. 
You could feel the pit in your stomach building, it weirdly felt like a good stomach ache almost, you were close to cumming and John knew it. The way your breath got ragged as if your body was starting to panic, the way your legs were locking around Price’s torso, but his favorite thing was the eyes you gave him. The way they got low, the way you could barely keep them open, the faint dampness of your lashes from when your eyes watered when he first put his dick in you. 
“You wanna cum?” He teased 
“Yes” You moaned shamelessly
Price slowed his pace but his slow place was just as potent as his fast one, his thrust became deep and taunting forcing loud moans out of you everytime he sunk himself back into you. 
“Oh my god” You moaned loudly as your orgasm overtook you 
“That’s my girl” He praised clearly amused by your unfolding
It was a domino effect when you came and one thing John made sure was that you came before him because if you didn’t then he couldn’t. He loved the way you began to tremble under the pleasure, the sensitivity of each part of you, that’s what he looked forward to with each of your “encounters”. 
Your body shivered as Price peppered kisses on your neck and collarbones and picked up his pace once again, other than your hand that was gripping his, your body was practically just spasms now as his tip kissed your cervix with each hard, fast, deep thrust. 
“Is my beautiful girl, all cock drunk” He teased 
John began to focus on achieving his orgasm seeing that if he didn’t stop now you wouldn’t be able to get up for the day. He let go of your hand to your dismay, he used his now free hand to prop up your hips as he got rougher than you ever could imagine. 
“Please” You moaned loudly not even sure of what you were begging for 
“I love you so much” He groaned loudly pressing so deep into you that his pelvis smacked your clit
Price watched amusingly as some of his cum seeped out the sides of the “seal” you both created. He finally pulled out and made his way to the bathroom to run you a bath. John took full responsibility for his rough demeanor during sex and so he always made sure to make up for it after. 
You groaned at the soreness you felt as you sat yourself up; you loved sex with John but my god did it take a toll on your body after. 
“Stop trying to be independent” He playfully scolded before picking you up bridal style
He placed you in the tub before getting in behind you; he placed small kisses on your now wet shoulder. You laid your head back onto Price’s chest allowing him to wrap his arms around you peppering kisses on the top of your head.
“Why do you always kiss the top of my head?” You asked examining his hands 
“Cause I like to” He defended with a smile you could hear in his voice 
“Seriously” You spoke playfully slapping his knee
“I like the smell of your hair”  “And I love you” “That’s how I show it” He shrugged 
You craned your head back smiling at your upside down view of the handsome British man, you reflected on all the times even before your first hookup that Price had his face buried in the top of your head.
He always fixed any headgear you had on, always taking something out of your hair, and  patting down your flyaways. You sat yourself up turning your body to face him because it finally hit you. 
Captain John Price had been in love with you long before you two even had sex.
“I love you” You smiled
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die-pink-maus · 4 months
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A Weekend In Vienna 🇦🇹: Part II
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This is part two to A Weekend In Vienna. I am soooo incredibly grateful for all the love the first part of this series received, especially with it being my first time writing a fanfic, and honestly my first time putting my writing out there for everyone to see in general 🙈 Part One can be found here if you just stumbled upon this randomly lol 👇🏽
♡ PART I: A WEEKEND IN VIENNA 🇦🇹
@lettaniko ‘s interpretation of König is used as inspo for this series. Let’s convince her to make some new drawings in this style. It’s awesome! 💕
For reference, here is a link to the outfit our OC is wearing in this scene 👉🏽 https://www.fashionnova.com/products/dont-call-me-up-jumpsuit-white
TW: 18+, NSFW, MDNI, Suggestions of mild Asphyxiation, but overall mostly fluff, we haven’t gotten too spicy YET, but things are most certainly heating up 🤭
Word Count: 2182
Once again, Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are greatly appreciated! Please do any of the above if you like this series! It would really mean a lot! 🫶🏼
Enjoy! 💋
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The doorbell rang around 8pm. I was in the middle of putting the finishing touches on my outfit for the night. I slipped into a skintight white jumpsuit with a pair of black Christian Louboutin pumps, accessorizing with a pair of medium sized silver hoop earrings, a silver watch, and a small black clutch. I touched up my makeup before straightening my hair and pulling it back into a nice high, sleek ponytail, and took one last good look at myself in the mirror. Breathe, you look fine. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t dressing to impress. I know it’s just a bar, and I may be slightly over done, which isn’t really out of the ordinary — not for me anyway, but…I wanna make his head spin. Adrian comes up behind me as I’m silently critiquing myself in the mirror. “Jesus…” she gasps. “Sometimes you make me wonder if I’m genuinely straight or not.”
“So this looks okay?” I blushed.
“You look incredible, if he doesn’t make a move, I know someone else will.” She giggled. But I want him. I took a deep breath before we headed downstairs, his large robust frame coming into view almost immediately. He looks quite nice as well. He’s wearing dark blue denim jeans, and a long sleeved light grey v-neck shirt with the sleeves rolled up, his tatted, vascular forearms on full display. Fuck. He was in the middle of what looked to be an interesting conversation with Adrian’s uncle — that was, until he saw me. I could’ve sworn I’d seen his jaw fall slightly open as he watched me parade down the lengthy flight of stairs. I held his gaze as I walked closer. His hooded blue orbs remained glued to mine, seemingly entranced by my every step as I made my way to the door where he stood. I tried as hard as I could to fight the impending smirk tugging at the corner of my lips as we came face to face. This time I’m the one reading him like a book, and it appears I did exactly what I set out to do with this outfit tonight. The look in his eyes is provocative and dark. He looks like he would take me right here and now if he could, if no one were around to watch or hear me scream his name as he has his way with me. I can’t help but revel in the way his eyes caress and undress me from head to toe, a soft but tense sigh escaping his lips as his eyes meet mine again. “Guten Abend,“ I smirked as I leaned forward and up to greet him with a hug. “Siehst du etwas, das dir gefällt?” I whispered before pulling away, a look of both surprise and arousal beaming from his face. It’s clear he’s impressed and maybe even a little taken back by 1. My sudden confident and flirtatious demeanour, and 2. The fact that I speak German. The shy woman he’d met a few hours prior was long gone, and she’d been replaced with a seductress. His lips quirk up into a smile as he gently rubs the back of his neck, probably thinking of his next move, but Arian interrupts before he has a chance to speak. “Let’s get going, I need some vodka.” She sighed as she brushed passed us both and walked out the front door. König and I said goodbye to Adrian’s uncle as we followed her outside. I was about to open the back door of his car to get in when I felt his large hand gently wrap around my arm from behind. He leaned down close to my ear, “Natürlich gefällt mir, was ich sehe, Prinzessin...” he whispered. “But I’d like it a lot more if it were on my bedroom floor.” He breathed as he let go of my arm and walked around me. I stood frozen as he grinned at me over his shoulder before shifting into the driver’s seat of the car and closing the door.
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The bar is packed. Pretty sure the only reason we were able to get in is because König knows the owner, and his military buds have already secured us a nice table near the bar. Since arriving we’ve had about 4 rounds of vodka shots, and it didn’t look like any of us intended to stop any time soon. König and I have been exchanging flirtatious looks all night at every possible chance we get. I forgot how exhilarating sexual tension was. I haven’t had relations in quite a while, and I was afraid I may have lost my edge when it comes to flirting, but apparently not. I do still find that I am quite nervous around him, but I never really expected that to go away completely just yet. At least I’m doing a much better job at hiding it this time around, but I suppose I may have liquid courage to thank for that. I decided to take it easy with this next drink. I wouldn’t say I’m a light weight, but the buzz is definitely buzzing. I decided to go with my usual — a double vodka cranberry with a little bit of soda. Given it was quite busy, the bartender was occupied with a few other guests by the time I’d reached the rail. As a bartender myself, this is a situation I’m all too familiar with. I waited patiently, trying to grab their attention whenever I could. I could see König pushing his way through the crowd of people from the corner of my eye, inserting himself at the bar rail beside me. “Hey!” He called out to the bartender, capturing their attention almost instantly. It’s hard to ignore a man like König. Aside from the obvious fact that he’s just all around massive, he’s got such an undeniably commanding presence. He has an effect on everyone he’s around, and what kind of effect he has clearly depends on who you are and what you’re doing. “Ein Bier, bitte, und…” he trailed off as he looked down at me. “A double vodka cranberry with a splash of soda.” I blushed. “Ein doppelter Wodka-Cranberry mit Soda für die Dame.” He said as he slid money across the rail to the bartender, before reverting his attention back to me. “I hope you are having a good time so far.” He said.
“Absolutely,” I said. “This is a great spot, and I really like your friends.”
“I’m glad I am able to help make your first time in Wien an enjoyable one.” He smiled as the bartender placed our drinks in front of us.
“Danke.”
“Prost.” He winked as we clinked glasses. Ugh, he’s trouble.
We were on our second drink at the bar rail when we both glanced in the direction of our table, observing as everyone watched Adrian tell some sort of elaborate story. We couldn’t really hear what was being said, but a lot of arm movements and gestures were going on. I laughed, “looks like your friends are enjoying Adrian’s performance.”
“It doesn’t surprise me really, we appreciate a good story, not much else to do between missions other than share past experiences.” He laughed.
“So what’s that like? Being in the military, I mean.”
“It’s definitely not easy, it takes a toll on you in a lot of ways, but you get accustomed to everything. I know nothing else, it’s been my life since I was 17. Adrian’s uncle was my lieutenant actually.”
“That makes a lot of sense now that I think about it. Do you ever wish things were different?”
“Not really…I’m good at what I do.” He sighed as he took a swig of his beer. “The only thing I wish I had is a woman as beautiful as you to come home to.” He said, shifting his gaze in my direction. “I think I might be a little dangerous for your health though.” He smirked.
My brow raised. “How so?” I asked. He paused for a moment before moving closer, gently placing my chin between his thumb and index fingers, tilting upward as he gazed into my eyes intensely. “I don’t know if your body would be able to handle how hard I’d make you cum…all day and night like it’s the only thing I’ve been made to do.” He said lowly, my breath hitching in my throat as I digested his words. “You’d cum so hard, the only thing you’d be able to remember is my name.“ Fuck..In this moment it almost felt like I forgot how to breathe. All I could think about was how badly I wanted to experience that. I can only imagine all the many things a man like this could make me feel. I know it would probably be the most passionately intense sex I’ve ever had, and considering I live in Canada and wouldn’t be able to have that whenever I wanted, it may be best if I never discover what I’d be missing out on. But I want to so badly. I watch as he slowly smiles, his tongue gently grazing his bottom lip as he indulges in the arousal seeping from my expression. “But you’re curious, aren’t you Maus?” He asks as he begins leaning in even closer, his lips merely inches away from mine. “Yes.” I breathed, his palm cupping my cheek before he closed the gap between our lips. He tastes of craft beer and peppermint. I moan softly as his tongue sensually enters my mouth, his hand departing my cheek and sliding down to the base of my neck and upward, gently clasping around my throat as his other arm pulled me into him. My thighs clenched together as wetness pooled beneath my lacy black panties, my thoughts running absolutely wild with imagination. He lightly tugs on my bottom lip with his teeth as he pulled away, I look up at him, sheer adoration beaming from my face. I’m looking at him like he’s practically God and it’s embarrassing as fuck but I can’t help it. I’m yearning for more. I want him to take me out to the car and fuck me till I can’t see straight. After that kiss, it’s obvious he’s capable of this, but I resist the urge to reveal my desperation. “I suppose I could go easy on you to start.” He grins as he takes his beer and walks off back towards our table. I remain at the bar, absolutely stunned by the chain of events that too place only moments prior. What have I gotten myself into?
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By the time we all decided to leave, it was nearly 3am. Adrian was drunk as fuck and dancing incoherently with one of König’s friends, Horangi. I was quite intoxicated as well, day dreaming of all the things I wanted König to do to me as we both tried to converse normally, and pretend as if that breathtakingly steamy kiss by the bar rail never happened. Though, it was clear we were both still thinking about it. Both still silently undressing one another with our eyes as the coquettish banter roamed freely under the guise of polite conversation. “How much longer are you here for?” He asked.
“I leave in the next 3 days.” I said as he walked Adrian and I to the door of her aunt’s house. “Let me take you out for dinner tomorrow night. I would love to spend an evening alone together.” He smiled.
“Dinner huh? Wasn’t really expecting you to be a ‘Wine and Dine’ kinda guy.” I giggled.
“Normally, I wouldn’t say that I am…but something about you intrigues me.” He said. “I’d love to get to know more about you as a person before we go any further.” Wow. Not really what I was expecting in all honesty. Not necessarily saying he intended to take me home with him tonight, but I wasn’t sure he’d be interested in me either. “I don’t mind taking things slower than usual for you. I want to court you, Maus, if you’d allow me to.” I couldn’t help but blush, the way he calls me Maus always stirs up butterflies in the pit of my stomach. “I think I’d like that, a lot actually.” I smiled nervously.
“Good, how does 7pm sound?” He asked as Adrian unlocked the front door and stumbled inside. “It’s a date.” I smiled.
“I look forward to it, Maus.” He said as he leaned forward, softly snaking his arm around my waist and pulling me close before pressing his lips to mine. My legs practically turned to jello as we kissed passionately in front of the door. “Goodnight, Prinzessin. See you tomorrow, Ja?” He said as he pulled away. “Goodnight, König.” I said as he walked down the stairs back towards his car. I opened the front door, letting out a deep exhale as I tried to process the night. Well, fuck.
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floydsmuse · 5 months
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A bets a bet
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warnings: 18+, mdni, usage of a vibrator, sexual themes, slight explicit language.
pairing: Calvin Evans x reader (no y/n)
description: after losing a bet, you tease & fluster Calvin while he’s in the middle of a presentation in front of a whole crowd of people… (wc 700+)
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a/n: hi :) so this is a re-upload! i wanted to make some slight changes to this little thing i wrote for Calvin, so i hope you enjoy it! also idk what the deal was with vibrators in the 50s, but i just thought this was a fun concept to write about! as always likes & comments are great! reblogs are appreciated too🥰🩷 ty!
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you happen to be in the wings of a presentation being put on by Calvin. the auditorium was filled with a whole committee of people & after having lost a bet, Calvin found himself having to hold back from the pleasure inducing device that’s currently lodged inside of him. he starts off strong & confident, charmingly drawing the audience in with the speech he had prepared. you almost start to feel a bit guilty for what you were about to do, but a bets a bet & you both agreed to the terms that would take place.
you handled the remote of the vibrator with ease. you started off on a subtle setting, already knowing that Calvin is incredibly sensitive to begin with & you didn’t want to set him off just yet. you quickly look up at him & notice that he has only shifted slightly from his original place on the stage. his words still coming out coherently & clearly.
your thumb hovers over the button again & you bite your bottom lip in anticipation. the crowd let’s out a collective chuckle & you figured that this was the perfect opportunity to level up. you press down, as the laughter starts to subside & the auditorium goes back to being quiet. Calvin slightly jerks, not too much for someone in the first few rows to notice & certainly not for someone in the way back to. but you notice that subtle movement of his body. he was slowly but surely starting to crumble at the sudden vibration.
his words were starting to come out more strained now & he had to clear his throat from embarrassment. he found himself having to start over his sentence a few times before he could get it right. his thoughts becoming fumbled from his current predicament. you swear you could see his pants tightening, where his bulge lies. he shakes his head around, wiggling his arms & shoulders to regain a composure that would surely not return no matter how hard he tried. you tried your very best to suppress a giggle. having to cover a hand over your mouth.
Calvin was progressively becoming more & more flustered, as you toyed with the remote. you could see the evident sweat building up on his forehead & neck. his hands primarily stayed clenched into tight fists at his sides & he let out subtle fidgety movements. you yourself were getting progressively more turned on by the sight of your lover struggling to keep his cool. your panties becoming soaked & you were started to crave him. you could’ve sworn you heard him let out the lightest fuck when you decided to mess with him & go to the highest setting, but only for a second.
you notice him give you the side eye, a warning for you to stop it. you both knew that if you didn’t let up, he would absolutely combust right here in front of all these people. you snickered, but listened to his request. you could evidently see the little shake in his legs & you weren’t even sure how he was still standing at this point. you were honestly impressed at how well Calvin was holding himself together, all things considered.
Calvin’s presentation was coming to a close now & you could hear him let out a shaky sigh of relief into the mic. people were up & out of their chairs, clapping. you figured if anyone questioned his behavior, they would solely chop it down to nerves. Calvin gave a little bow & made his way to you.
you make eye contact & you noticed his eyes weren’t those friendly blue ones you were normally used to. they were instead blown out & full of lust. you took a quick peak down to his ever growing erection, your mouth beginning to water at the sight. before you could even get a word out, he backed you up against the wall, whispering in your ear, his voice deepening ever so slightly,
“you are so in for it when we get home.”
your breath hitches in your throat, as he pulls back. you’re practically throbbing at his words & you two can’t get out of there fast enough. once you two arrive home, Calvin has his way with you as promised & gives you a taste of your own medicine…
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poohbea · 2 years
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𝐃𝐎𝐍’𝐓 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐎𝐃.
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beelzebub | smut, fluff |
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𝙒𝙊𝙍𝘿𝘾𝙊𝙐𝙉𝙏 : 1.6k
— 𝙎𝙔𝙉𝙊𝙋𝙎𝙄𝙎 : the ingredients to make a darkness of devil cake are as follows: flour, eggs, butter, oral... wait that doesn't sound right.
𝘾𝙊𝙉𝙏𝙀𝙉𝙏𝙎 : light biting, food play, oral (f receiving), semi-public oral sex (you're in a shared kitchen so), voyeurism (meaning someone does walk in on you and watches - take a guess who's kinky enough to do something like that), praise, marking, pet names, just beel being beel
𝙉𝙊𝙏𝙀 𝙁𝙍𝙊𝙈 𝙋𝙊𝙊𝙃 : the way i procrastinated with this fic omfg. idk why this was difficult to write, but i tried, not my proudest work but this one has been sitting in the drafts for a long time and i needed to feed the beel food play agenda. again this is my poor attempt at getting out of my writer's block so forgive me if it's quite mediocre. we were going so well in the beginning and then sorta just fell off...cri
WARNING: this is smut, so please ensure you have your age visible on your account before interacting. Minors (below 18+), ageless and blank blogs will be BLOCKED
Hope you enjoy ♡ reblogs are greatly appreciated
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“Is the icing almost done?” Beel asks, resting his chin on your shoulder. He watches you whisk the chocolaty cream in the large bowl, stopping to dip your finger in before raising it to his lips. He moans as his tongue envelops the digit, sucking the sweet treat greedily, teeth lightly nipping at your finger. 
“Is it good?” You chuckle, watching him with a smile. 
“Th’o good.” He mumbles with your finger still in his mouth. 
“Don’t talk with your mouth full, Beel.” Your finger is released with a pop, a string of saliva still connecting the digit to his tongue. 
“Sorry,” A bashful expression takes over his handsome features. “It tastes really good.” 
You watch him examine the expanse of your neck briefly, nose subtly inhaling your sweet aroma. “You okay?” He nods at your question, but his gaze is still focused on the curve of your neck, the way your skin pulsed under the heat of his body that was still pressed flush against your back. 
Absent-mindedly, he licks the juncture where your throat meets your jaw, unable to resist the temptation of the tantalising warmth so close to his taste buds. “Shit.” If he thought the icing was delicious then you were something else entirely. A unique array of flavours that he’d been dying to discover the day you moved into the House of Lamentation. 
“Beel.” You whimper, fingers laced through his apricot locks as he sinks his teeth gently into your skin.
The Avatar of Gluttony heard none of it as he continued his exploratory assault, pathing from your jaw to your shoulder, all the while pressing your hips against the countertop with his own. He couldn’t stop, he wouldn’t. Not when something so delicious melted on his tongue with such allure, when you, his unofficial cooking partner, were moaning his name so delicately he could’ve sworn it was all in his head. That your ass in his palms was some kind of food deprived hallucination, that he was daydreaming like he always did. But the heat of your skin was undeniable, the clawing of your nails against his scalp as he indulged in you, unmistakeable. 
“Fuck.” You sigh, reciprocating the rock of his hips into yours, the growing ache between your thighs making it increasingly difficult to think straight. “Beel.” 
The demon stops to turn you around, immediately delving into your lips, tongue parting them as he tastes you further. “More.” He growls between breaths, fingers digging into your hips. “More.” 
“Beel, we’re supposed to be baking.” Your laugh partially breaks his starved frenzy, hands cupping his face when he finally pulls away.
He rests his forehead against your own, breath heavy and pupils blown as they threaten to break your resolve. “The cake’s fine.” His gaze shifts to the oven behind you, two large cake pans filled with a black batter illuminated by the light above. “They’ve only just started to rise.” 
“That’s not the point, Beel.” You giggle, with the lick of your lips, an action he followed intently. 
“I can’t help it.” His nose brushes yours as he speaks. “You just taste so good.” 
Admittedly you didn’t know how to respond to that. Shyness evident as he trapped you between him and the counter, silent but gaze alight with one clear intention. Eat. It was enough to give you goosebumps.
“Can…Can I try something?” He whispers in a low baritone.
With a bashful nod as permission his hands find purchase on the back of your thighs, wrapping them around his waist before lifting you effortlessly onto the counter top. Then his gaze settles on the icing bowl and your heart lodges itself in your throat. 
“Beel…” You whisper nervously, toying with the hairs at the nape of his neck. “It’s for the cake.”
“I’ll only use a little.” Those puppy dog eyes he throws you are all too convincing, his pout enough to melt even the coldest of hearts. How could you say no to that face?
He’s silent when you let out a soft sigh, curiously awaiting your response. “Fine.” And almost as if on cue he perks up, his proverbial tail wagging in excitement. “Just try not to make a—” Before you could even finish your thought the sound of tearing fabric echoes through the kitchen. Your gaze lowers to find your skirt in disarray and your underwear now in tatters, its remnants pooled on the apex of your thighs. “Beel!”
Admittedly, he only meant to pull them off you, but the demon obviously didn't know his own strength as he tore right through the flimsy cotton. Why did you even bother to wear something like this if it broke this easily? “What?” He asks innocently, pulling the rest of it from between your thighs. 
“I liked those.” Now it was your turn to pout, palm smacking his muscular shoulder as a weak form of punishment.
“You didn’t need them anyway.” He dips slightly to tuck his hands behind your knees, before proceeding to rise again to make you lay back on the counter. Drawing your thighs to your chest, he spreads you wide to give himself a perfect view of your pussy. “Wow.” He mutters to himself, marvelling at the meal so graciously being offered to him. 
“Don’t just stare at it—!” You yelp at the sudden heat against your clit, his tongue gliding slowly through your folds, savouring the flavour he’d so patiently waited for.
“Mm.” He moans, kissing the crease of your thigh tenderly, all the while observing that pleasured look on your face. “So delicious.” 
“Bee…” Using one hand to mindlessly play with your pussy, the other dips into the chocolate buttercream in the bowl beside your waist. His stomach growls as he spreads the confectionary over your clit, drool leaking from the corner of his mouth when your pussy clenches around nothing as a result. 
He silently offers you the residual icing, fingers grazing your lips, his heart races at the sight of his digits slipping past them, your tongue warm as it swirls around each fingertip. “Taste good?” He mimics you, finally withdrawing from your mouth. 
“Not too shabby, if I do say so myself.” Your lightheartedness makes him smile, those violet eyes admiring you lovingly before retreating between your legs again, returning to the task at hand.
Your hips jerk in his palms, his hot tongue lapping greedily at your clit. “Fuck.” You gasp, tugging his hair in encouragement. Each flick of his tongue lit a new flame in the pit of your stomach, the heavenly sweetness of the frosting mixed with your arousal only making him dive deeper. 
He’d soon become lost in the warmth of your core, every sense overcome by you and you alone. Your moans and pleas, the softness of your skin, your scent and that taste. Fuck, your taste. It was a unique mix of sweet and savoury, one that was growing increasingly addictive the longer he remained there. 
“Shit, Beel!” He can’t help but nip at your skin, thighs the victim of many a hickey, but purple was always a pretty colour against your complexion anyway. 
“S’tho good.” Your gasp bounces off the walls as he dips his tongue into you, nose now flush with your delicate clit, the action making your spine arch.
“Don’t stop, please. Beel, don’t—“ 
“Hey, do you guys smell something burni—oh!?” Your oncoming climax is cut short by Asmo’s sudden intrusion, his voice snapping you out of the pleasured daze Beel had so effortlessly pulled you into. 
“Oh, shit, Asmo it’s— ah!” Unbeknownst to you, Beel was unfazed by his brother’s presence, the new development actually driving him further. “Beel, wait… stop.” It was no use, even as you tried to push him away he just pulled you right back, strength far surpassing yours. 
“No, no, please continue, don’t let me stop your fun.” Asmo giggles, perching himself on the table top beside your head. “My, my, and I was under the impression that our beautiful little human was a prude. Yet here you are, spread so nicely on the kitchen counter no less. Does she taste wonderful, Beel?” 
The glutton mumbles an incoherent response against your clit, the vibration making your thighs shudder. “This isn’t— fuck. This isn’t funny Asmo.” 
“Oh, I agree, my sweet. In fact I’m quite jealous, I wanted to be the first to get a taste of you. But, I guess it wasn’t meant to be.” His pout only incited  butterflies in the pit of your stomach, those devilish eyes eating up the scene unfolding before him. “Come on Beel, make her cum already, I’m dying to hear what she sounds like.” 
“Would you… shit, I’m gonna cu—ah!“ You miss the way Asmo smirks when you finally fall over that edge of euphoria, your free hand unintentionally grasping his wrist while the other combs through the ginger locks of the demon between your thighs. 
“That’s it, sweetheart, let it out.” The Avatar of Lust coos through the height of your orgasm, caressing your hair softly. “Breathe, angel.” 
It was forgein, this feeling in your chest. Never before have you experienced such casual voyeurism, and surprisingly you didn’t hate it as much as you thought you would. Maybe it was because you felt so comfortable with them, the power of mutual trust overshadowing your feeble inhibitions. 
A bubbly laugh sounds when you’re finally able to think again, body a puddle on the wooden bench, your muscles finally relaxing. “What?” You ask, out of breath. 
“Nothing, you’re just cute when you make that face. Isn’t she Beel?” 
The man in question finally raises to his feet, lips glossy as he offers you a warm smile. “Of course.” There’s a moment of silence before Beel frowns, nose scrunching with each audible sniff of the air. “What’s that smell?”
“Oh,” Asmo chirps. “You smell it too? It smells like something’s burning. Are you making anything?” 
Both you and Beel lock eyes, expressions morphing into ones of fear. “The cake!” 
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tags: @okhotel, @sakinotfound, @xharia, @hoohoohope
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© poohbea, all rights reserved. DO NOT copy, reupload or modify my work to other accounts and platforms. if you intend to translate any of my works please ask permission first ♡
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sjhhemmings · 5 months
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Welcome Home
jeff clarke x fem!reader
a/n: hiii let me know if u guys enjoyed this. i got this idea when i was rewatching szn 2 of chicago fire and it got to the plot line where his wife left him after he came home from deployment. heart literally shattered :(( i’ve had this idea for a couple days now and i was inspired, sue me. ily guys, make sure you like, reblog, and do all that jazz to support your writers. hugs and kisses to you all, happy christmas season to those who celebrate 🎉❤️💚
warnings: swearing, fluff, kissing, anything i missed.
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Working a 12 hour shift the night before your husband comes home from a year and a half long deployment wasn’t your first choice.
Originally he was supposed to be home after 8 months, but then his contract was extended to 10 months. Then extended again to 12, then finally extended to another 6. Each phone call broke your heart worse than the last. There was nothing you wanted more than to see your husband again. Especially on the hard days when the only thing that got you through was the thought that your husband will be home soon.
3 weeks ago on the dot you got a phone call. Your heart shattered. You were certain that he was going to call and tell you his contract got extended another 2-6 months and that you wouldn’t be able to see him again.
*3 weeks ago*
With tears already building in your eyes and your heart in your throat you answer the phone with a shakey hello.
“Hi Baby! I uh, are you okay? What’s wrong?” Clarke’s voice was initially excited then dropped then second he heard the heartbreak in your voice.
“Oh, nothing. I just miss you is all.” Finally letting out a sob after the last sentence, you truly couldn’t stop the tears.
“Hey, hey, I miss you too. Everything will be okay. I just got some good news actually.”
“Oh yeah?” You say sniffling with a little more hope into the phone.
“Yeah, I just talked to my sergeant and he said I get to come home at the end of this month.”
The second you heard those words leave his mouth, you could’ve sworn your heart stopped. Time stood still. God had finally answered your prayers.
“Baby?” He asked after about 30 seconds of silence from your end.
“Yeah, yes, I’m here. I’m just-“ You cut yourself off with a choked sob. The amount of ecstasy you’re feeling right now is truly overwhelming.
“I know, I feel the same way.” He says with his voice cracking also.
“So, do you have an exact date? That you’ll be home?” You ask more composed after collecting yourself for a few seconds.
“Sarge is thinking about 3 weeks, but no later than 5.” He says a little more excited now.
“Jeff, I, I don’t even know what to say right now. I love you so much.”
“I know baby, I love you too. I actually have to go, Sarge is calling me right now, I’ll see you when I get home,”
“Yes, go, you’re fine. I’ll see you when you get home.” You say with a little giggle hanging up the phone because it’s almost too good to be true.
*Present Day*
Now you’re here, rushing around your house to get ready. You got home at 3 AM last night after an emergency trauma surgery at med. Of course it ran long, and of course you were supposed to be up and ready by 7 to see your husband finally come home.
“Shit, shit, shit!” You mumble to yourself as your looking for your other earring, and left shoe simultaneously in your cluttered house.
Fuck that was another thing you should’ve done. He hasn’t been home in almost two years and now he’s coming back to a dirty house.
Once you’ve finally found your other shoe, and your earring, you face yourself in your bathroom mirror and take a breath. Touching up your hair and buffing out a few things with your makeup, you’re ready.
You grab your purse and begin to walk to your door when the bell rings. Opening it hastily because you literally need to leave right now, you drop your purse at the sight.
“Y/N,” is all he says before you quite literally pounce on him. You wrap your arms tightly around his neck, and your legs around his waist. He holds your body up securely and with ease with one arm while the other combs through your hair.
You’ve imagined this moment for months now. What you would say, what you would do, how you would even greet him again? But all of that planning went out the window the second he stood in front of you again.
After maybe two minutes of you now sobbing all of your freshly done makeup off onto his shoulder, you pull your head back and cup his face in your hands. He lets you down to hold your face the same way. You couldn’t believe it. Right now, you’re staring deeply into the love of your life’s eyes. You two months ago would’ve never guessed this is where’d you be now. It’s almost too good to be true.
“You’re real right? I’m not dreaming?” You whisper with your faces barely inches apart.
“I’m real, you’re not dreaming.” He says both of you giggling at the butterflies swarming between you.
You weren’t going to lie, all of this time apart had you worried the two of you had changed. That when he came back nothing between you would be the same. That he wouldn’t be the same person who left. But after 5 minutes of him being back, you know that even if anything did change, he’s still the love of your life.
A little nervous to make a move you stay frozen with your faces just inches apart. You don’t know why, he’s your husband. You shouldn’t be nervous like you’re 12 years old on the middle school playground afraid to hug your crush.
Your eyes glanced maybe one to many times between his eyes and his lips and you watched his do the same, you slowly move your face in, slightly afraid of rejection, you grin just a bit as you notice he’s moving his face closer too.
The second your lips touched it was a slow and delicate kiss.
You moaned into his lips as you could feel more tears streaming down your face. This was the thing you craved most while he was gone. Just being able to kiss your husband after work. If it were up to you, neither of you would work again and you would just stay at home together forever. The passion and fire setting through your body grew.
Jeff ended up pulling away leaving you wanting more. You look up into his eyes through your hooded lashes trying your best to make sure this was real and not a dream.
“Let’s go inside.” He finally mutters through heavy breathing making your eyes light up. You walk backwards pulling him in as he’s grabbing his duffle bag with one hand and the other around your waist.
Shutting the door with his foot, he rips his shirt off making you truly question how sane you look right now. All you want to do right now is devour this man, but you hold yourself back as you admire his abs. Okay, maybe having a marine for a husband isn’t that bad.
“Are you just gonna stand and stare, or are you going to do something about it?” He asks seductively.
You chuckle at his challenge and walk toward him rubbing your hands down his chest.
“I could stare at this all day, baby.” You say now turning around also stripping your shirt off.
“You know what? No more games.” He finally says turning you around and carrying you over his shoulder into your shared bedroom.
Once you’ve finished having the best, most magical, passionate sex of your life, you’re laying tangled with your husband under the sheets never leaving if that were a choice.
“Abstinence was not for the weak.” You mutter as you listen to his heartbeat with your head on his chest.
“I know baby, you’ve been a good girl for me though, right?” He adds with a hint of worry on the last word.
“Always,” You whisper looking up at him and capturing his lips. “Welcome home”.
49 notes · View notes
xunolic · 2 years
Text
ten dates: unmatched! (l.cn)
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𖥻 . . pairing: non-idol!chan x fem!reader
𖥻 . . wc: 17.9k
𖥻 . . au(s): exes to enemies not really(?) to lovers; rom-com, angst, smut
𖥻 . . summary: once you and chan broke up, you decided to be cordial enough to stay friends with him. however, you’ve finally moved on and are taking on dating again. as you beg chan for advice, you should've known he’d grow tired of it.
𖥻 . . warnings: explicit language, alcohol is mentioned a ton, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex (wrap the willy silly), chan says “pretty girl” quite a bit, he also has a pretty big gratification kink.
a/n: minors do NOT interact! also, reader is race neutral. i finally finished! this was proofread quite a bit, yet there might still be mistakes :\ feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated! i hope you all enjoy! :))
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date one.
it was an ordinary saturday night. people in their early 20s would be out, getting drunk with pals, clubbing with the right people, having one-night stands, yet here you were, decked out in a tight dress and uncomfortable heels in a fancy restaurant with the worst date. the man you got to know on tinder was not who he presented himself to be in real life… obviously. the man, yoon jeonghan, that was supposed to be focused on you had his intentions set on a poor waitress that was oblivious to his advances. it wasn't that he was focusing more on her, it was more so he wasn’t being interested in anything but her, a weird infatuation of sorts. he spared you a glance once or twice, his eyes widening with shock once he, what you assumed, remembered why he was at the restaurant in the first place. 
“so have you found anything you wanted yet?” he finally asked, clearing his throat, looking at you with disinterest. it irked you that someone who had invited you out had wasted your time bringing you out of the comfort of your home just to neglect you. once he spoke, you could do nothing but scoff. you stood grabbing your bag as you tucked it under your arm.
“yeah, i want to get out of here. thanks,” you walked away, your red stilettos clicking on the marbled floors. jeonghan sat there confused before standing up to walk after you. you were slightly shocked he had come after you, thinking he wanted nothing to do with you.
“hey!”
“please leave me alone, i’d like to get home n–”
“–you had a cocktail so you know…”
you let out another exasperated scoff, “fuck off.” of course he wasn't coming after you, he’d come to ask for money after that poor excuse of a date.
you stood at a nearby bus stop, tugging your phone out of your small clutch, dialing the number of someone you knew would be there for you during these types of times. it rang twice before you heard the soft voice of your ex, the sound bringing a small smile to your face. “chan.. come over, i’ll order food and whatever drinks you want, just– just come please.”
he had told you that he was hanging out with vernon and seungkwan at some run-down lounge and you opted into going to them. you toed the heels off your feet asking for the address and once he told you, you realized how close you were. you rushed to the location finding him with a hand in his pocket, his other wrapped around the phone he held to his ear. chan had persuaded you to stay on the phone with him until you made it to the lounge, which you argued against, but he didn't take no for an answer.
“i’m here,” you informed through the phone from a building across the street from the one he was standing at. he looked around before his eyes landed on you. chan could've sworn his eyes flew out of his sockets by the way he gawked at your appearance. he’d always thought you looked beautiful in red and wasn't he a smart man to think so. he let the phone drop from his ear as you ran over to him. “hi,” you muttered.
“bad date?” 
“please, don't remind me of it,” you chuckled, walking past him to walk into the lounge, smiling as you caught sight of vernon and seungkwan sitting at a table in a near corner of the place. 
“woah, i didn't know it was this type of gathering,” seungkwan laughed, standing from his seat to hug you. you hugged him back but pulled away from the hug just in time to steal his seat in the booth beside the wall. “you sly woman.”
you shrugged with a cunning smirk, waving at vernon who was in front of you before you watched chan slip into the seat next to him. seungkwan grabbed the seat beside you, waving over the waiter whose eyes lingered on you for longer than you liked. the stares he was sending soon made you uncomfortable as you shifted in your seat, catching chan’s attention. seungkwan looked toward you as if asking what you wanted, but before you could respond, chan spoke to the male. 
“she’ll get a long island iced tea, thanks,” chan said, not sparing the waiter a glance as he looked your way, noting the way you were staring down at the table. “seungkwan, give y/n your jacket.”
you looked toward chan, but his attention was focused on his drink. you felt the jacket cover your shoulders as you looked at seungkwan, saying a quick thank you before glancing back at your ex. he was talking to vernon about something that was too muffled to catch. 
if there were three things you learned while being in a relationship with lee chan was that precious things shouldn't be taken for granted, relationships aren't a fairytale, and dating would definitely not last forever no matter how great you acted in front of people. it wasn't that dating him wasn't the best time of your life, it was more like, as weird as it sounds, arguments were a common thing with you two even if you thought being with him was the best. vernon was usually an accomplice to each argument, sitting there until one of you stood up and he had to jump in to calm you both down. you never intended to argue in front of vernon, he usually came to sit in on them making sure neither of you was bold enough to break the other's neck. 
chan was a sweetheart, not only to you but to everyone around him. and that smile, dammit that smile of his could melt anyone’s heart. even when you both got out of the cookie-cutter honeymoon stage of your relationship, he still took you on dates, gave you massages, and calmed you through fears of yours, through those two years he was truly the love of your life… or so you thought.
the breakup was messy, probably the messiest you'd ever been through. miscommunication after miscommunication led to both of you lashing out for the final time. vernon wasn’t there to separate you two, he wasn't there to force both of you to come to your senses, and he wasn't there to stop chan from slamming the door of your apartment in your face as you yelled out words you didn't mean. you remember sobbing in your room, alone, with no one to contact. you wanted to call seungkwan, but since he was close friends with chan you knew he'd be there for him instead of you.
you hated lee chan at that moment, you hated the world, as dramatic as it sounded, you hated yourself. ever since that night, you grimace at the way both of you acted that night. it was never talked about again for some reason even a year later, vernon and seungkwan were nonetheless confused when they saw you hanging out with chan again, laughing and giggling together. since it was never brought up, you both spent that time working on yourselves, cliche? maybe. 
you finally decided to take on dating, not realizing how hard it was without being in high school around the boy you found attractive. it was the real world where you were forced onto dating apps to talk with random men who varied from sweet to “send nude” guys. 
as the waiter sat down your drink, you found a slip of paper underneath the drink as he gave you a wink before walking off. chan caught the wink and looked down at the table, rolling his eyes at the slip of white paper that he knew had the other guy's number. 
you picked up the slip of paper, ripping and crumpling it as you stuffed it in your bag. chan gave you an unnoticeable smirk before sipping on his drink. 
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“okay so, when a guy acts like you don't exist when he’s the one who invited you out, what're you supposed to do then? he's the fucking jerk right?” you asked the group, eyes training on the second glass of liquor you had creating a water circle underneath it.
“absolutely! see, sometimes, dudes can be garbage. take him for example,” seungkwan pointed at a random man who was sleazily brushing up on a woman near the bar. “you can tell she's uncomfortable, right? but guess who doesn't take the hint? him!”
vernon nodded along with seungkwan, taking a shot of vodka, squeezing his eyes closed at the taste. all of you had a substantial amount of alcohol which left you tipsy enough to tell them almost everything that happened on the 30-minute date you went on.
“dating really does suck… i don't know if i want to go through that shit again.”
“you'll be back on one, chan, on the other hand, my guy went on one date, hated it, and never went on one again,” vernon pointed out, leaning his head back against the backrest. chan looked at his hyung, the side of his lip rising in annoyance. chan was only sipping lightly since he was kind of responsible for his friends and you. he sat and listened about how your date went, biting back words he wanted to say about the man you were out with. 
the end of the night had come around and you all left the building before you could get one last shot in you. chan had stuffed seungkwan in a cab, seungkwan blowing his hot breath on the window, drawing a heart with his fingers before the cab drove away. since you’d given seungkwan his jacket back, you sat in the chilly weather on a bus stop bench, warming yourself with your hands. 
“cold?” chan asked, sitting beside you, vernon following after. you nod, and in no time you felt the jean fabric of chan’s jacket against your shoulders. you grabbed onto it, holding it close before watching the bus pull up. chan and vernon lived three apartment buildings down from you hence why you were both taking the same bus. you stumbled your way onto the bus, absentmindedly walking right past and not paying your bus fee. you heard, “for three.” behind you as you sat in a seat, resting your head on the window. 
chan forced vernon to sit beside you as he stood beside the seat, looking at the both of you. vernon was a dazed drunk as he yawned, staring at the seat in front of him and you, you were just tired. you wanted to go home and sleep and forget about everything that happened that night. as the bus came to a stop, you handed chan his jacket back as he turned to vernon.
“walk safe, i’ll give you water when i get home,” chan said. vernon nodded, waving at you before trudging away. 
you looked at chan with a pout, “i’m fine enough to walk home myself.” you watched as he looked at his watch, shaking his head as he began walking towards your apartment building.
“it’s almost 2 am… i’m not letting you walk alone.”
you followed behind him until you reached the front of the large complex, waving chan off as he went in the opposite direction. once you finally walked inside of your apartment, you took everything off, plopping on your bed. you went to sleep but not before your phone buzzed.
it’s a match!
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you woke up with a mild headache and a burning urge to go shove scorching hot coffee down your throat. as you kicked yourself up from your comforter, you looked over at your window sill, finding the cat that usually perches there fast asleep. you smiled softly walking over, looking at the orange cat rest. you sighed sitting on your knees as you looked over the cat breathing with soft purrs. you sat there for a bit, the sleeping cat relaxing you more than you thought it would. as you stood up, you heard your phone ping over and over again causing a groan of annoyance to leave your mouth. you walked to your phone, picking it up, kim mingyu. you’d found mingyu interesting at first glance: tall, a chef, an art lover, he was a dream. 
kim mingyu: hello, i saw we matched! i’d love to get to know you over dinner if you're okay with that :)
cute, you thought, texting him back. you told him you had only now just started texting him so you don't see why he'd want to meet so soon. he told you that he loves speaking to people in person more than anything, and your mind it instantly went to a murderer. you panicked a bit but as if he read your mind, he sent another message to inform you he wasn't a murderer of any sort. you laughed at yourself, telling him you'd meet up with him next friday and he quickly sent a location telling you where he’d be. once you tossed your phone down, it buzzed again.
lee chan: take medicine, drink loads of water, and rest if you need to.
you hated(no you didn't) how sickly sweet this man was. you fell back onto your bed, in hopes of a better date next week.
date two.
so, uh, it wasn't. 
you walked into the restaurant, hyping yourself up outside before walking in, hell you were meeting a man that seemed different from the date you had last week, you needed a new approach. once you walked in, however, the one who called your name made you internally scream.
you had taken your seat and stared at the male as he scratched his neck awkwardly. you knew him, not as kim mingyu, but as lee minki, the same guy you’d seen the night of your last bad date in the lounge. the same name you had read on the name tag as he served your drink. the same guy who wrote his name on the slip of paper he’d given you with the booze.
“so–”
“i can explain!” he yelled, slapping a hand over his mouth as he saw a few people look over to your table.
you crossed your arms over your chest, rolling your eyes, “what’s there to explain? the only confusion i have is what idiot invites someone out they’ve catfished all week?”
“i saw you! you fucking ripped my number up the night i gave it to you, and i– i heard you talk about tinder dates and i realized you’re the girl i saw on tinder for mingyu, i’m sorry but at the same time i’m not.”
“who’s mingyu?”
“i don’t know… i found him on instagram.”
“yeah, see, no. first off, minki, you stared at my breasts all night that night, secondly, you made me super uncomfortable with all the weird winks, and then you continued to give off the worst fake cockiness. i’m not gonna apologize for not being attracted to you or your actions. so, i’m gonna leave now, please unmatch me from tinder,” you stood up, sending a short wave before walking off. you only walked so far until he grabbed your wrist, squeezing it a little bit too tightly. 
“you can’t leave, i… i apologized, i said i was sorry!”
“please don’t do this minki, i need to go and you need help.”
“but–”
you didn’t let him finish as you tugged your wrist away, hurriedly rushing out. you stood at the curb, hugging yourself to warm up, looking over the many people who walked around the streets. “y/n! hey! at least…” minki ran up to you, catching his breath as he bent at the waist. once he stood upright, he looked over your face seeing your scowl. he cleared his throat, shoving his hands in his pockets, yet again masking his nervousness with fake conceitedness. “at least stay for some food, or we could go back to my place and i–”
“please, like i’d want to leave with a lying creep,” you saw your cab pull up as you bid the male goodbye, getting in the car, watching the poor guy sulk as the driver pulled away.
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“he did what?” chan asked through the phone, a face mask on his face as he sipped his water.
“catfished me, that’s a first,” you responded, looking in your mirror before looking back at the phone at chan. you giggled softly at the gold sheet mask on his face, the white headband keeping his black hair out of his face. he could barely speak, wanting to keep the mask steady on his face. this was something both you and chan did regularly in your relationship, well when you weren’t arguing. you both would tuck under a blanket, cuddled up with sheet masks on as you ate pizza and watched cheesy rom-coms. 
it was simplistic, but you loved every bit of the corny romantic moments you both shared. the lingering stares, the continuous kisses, the phenomenal sex after, all of it had the specialist part of your heart taken. 
“are you laughing at me?” he asked, the sound still slightly muffled because of his mumbling.
“oh absolutely, you look funny and i’m not talking about the mask,” you laughed, applying lotion to your face as you walked into your room. “you should’ve come over, i ordered pizza. you could’ve even brought vernon.”
“what kind of pizza?”
“um.. shit… what pizza did i get?”
“dumbass.”
you laughed, sitting on the edge of your bed, tucking your feet underneath you. you sat your phone down on a pillow, watching chan rush to the bathroom to remove the mask. “so, do you want pizza or not?”
he glanced down at the phone, picking it up and showing you his renewed skin, completely ignoring you, “i look so good.”
looking over his face, you tilted your head and responded, “you look okay, i guess.”
“hey! don't forget, if you diss my looks you're the one who dated me.”
“touché.”
he smiled in the frame of the phone camera, and walked to his own room, sitting on his bed. 
“so, what about you? are you gonna try dating again?” you ask, carrying your phone to the door to grab your food. as you brought it back to your room, you made yourself comfortable again, flipping the box open.
“eh, i haven't thought about it yet. i was gonna try, but…” he trailed off, watching as you began eating. chan always thought you were cute when you concentrated on food, the way your eyes slightly crossed when you focused on your next bite of anything you had, the way your tongue darted out to clean your lips, he could smoosh your face and just adore you whenever he wanted. well, not now.
“chan.”
he blinked a few times remembering he was on facetime, “yeah?”
“you just trailed off on your sentence. what’s on your mind?”
he shook his head saying it was nothing important, laying back on his bed. you took his word for it and ate enough pizza that filled your need. you and chan talked and talked until you felt tired. neither of you hung up the phone, both growing irritable and tired. chan however kept his eyes on you, adoring the way you laid with your eyes closed and your breaths coming out as gently as they came in. chan was about to hang up so you could sleep peacefully but you ended up speaking.
“what should i do, chan? i thought i was doing the right thing by going on dates like this, but… i keep making mistakes.”
“it's not your fault y/n, it–”
“we even broke up because of me. i keep fucking up,” never once did you open your eyes to look at your ex, but if you did, you'd notice the pained frown on his face. chan never once blamed you for the breakup, even when you two weren't friends. he could easily sympathize with you, knowing how much he blamed himself for the predestined circumstances between you two. the sound of your voice, blaming and putting yourself down hurt chan more than he’d admit. since you were in a slight state of delirium because of your sleepy condition, he cut you off telling you to go on to sleep.
you nodded, saying a small goodnight leaving chan to hang up the phone, losing himself in his own feelings.
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date three.
you had no idea why you were there. you tried to understand but it just hindered you.
turns out this new date knew the actual kim mingyu and kim mingyu was a taken man, but why were you here with the two of them? you stood in between the two, staring at the painting in front of you. they were both in the midst of a conversation, the date seeming like it was between them if mingyu wasn't already in a relationship.
“what do you think, y/n?” minghao invited, finally giving you some attention. you weren't really paying attention to either of them as you tried to figure the painting out yourself. you loved art, don't get it twisted, but what the living fuck were you looking at? the paint surely was painted on the canvas, but what were you to make of it.
“i um... i–”
“trees, swaying, almost dancing if you would,” your eyes shot to mingyu’s tall frame, nodding in agreement.
“no, yeah. i was about to say the same thing,” you responded, pointing at the picture in front of you. you crossed your arms in front of you with a secure nod, the two men looking at each other stifling giggles.
“cute,” minghao said before walking to the next painting with mingyu. you got flustered at the sudden compliment, following behind their long strides. you looked over their shoulders, staring at the even more confusing painting, you realized how long this date would be.
once you left the art museum, minghao took you to a nice cafe… but mingyu came along. you were shocked at how hooked to the hip best friends could be, especially to bring the other on a date. 
“oh, and what about the time we went to pottery class and your ass kept messing up the teacher’s vases,” minghao laughed, looking at mingyu. mingyu laughed along, slapping his friend's arm. you sat in front of them sipping lightly on your iced coffee, picking at the cake minghao had gotten you. watching them laugh at things you were clueless about made the date quite frustrating. you tried to laugh along, but you soon realized that they were talking about past dates minghao has gone on. mingyu was with minghao every single time he went on a date. your eyes shot from each of them, slipping another bite of the cake into your mouth. they continued to talk between the two of them until you cleared your throat to make your appearance known. their heads flew to you, not at all annoyed, just questioning what you needed. 
“hey, i think i’m gonna slip out. i’ll take the coffee and cake with me though,” you smiled at the both of them, closing the container for the cake. minghao was quick to stand, offering to walk you out, but you declined. he was sweet, really sweet, but you could tell his best friend was his top priority. you gave him your number, offering a friendship instead of a relationship, telling him that he’ll find someone willing to go on dates with him and mingyu. he laughed softly, nodding as he watched you walk out.
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as you were nearing your place, you left the bus with a stretch. although you didn't have a bad time per se, you didn't want to be alone after. you called up chan, questioning his whereabouts and once he told you he was stuck at home, you took that as an invite to go over to the apartment. you walked into their building, a familiar face spotting yours as quickly as you did hers.
“oh, y/n! hello.”
“ah, miss choi, hello! how are you?” you asked, smiling as you walked to the nearby elevator. miss choi was a nice woman, she loved to greet anyone who was near her door, especially if she had brought in her dog. she had grown a liking to you and you knew she was patiently waiting for you and chan to break up. not because she didn't like chan, she adored the kid, but she had a son that needed a woman. 
she told you once when you went over for tea that she had a son, but you were with chan and you instantly shot her down. she didn't take it to heart, seeing how happy you seemed and how comfortable you were with your relationship, but when she saw chan crying the day of your breakup she thought maybe there was a chance. although she cared for chan and his feelings, she was a mother first. she wanted to see her son with a good woman like you.
“i’m good, i’m doing great. are you and chan back together?” she asked, not giving you a second to digest how she was doing. you chuckled a bit awkwardly, shaking your head.
“no, we aren't.”
“oh, you know, my son is still available.”
“now, miss choi, you know i can’t go on a date with him if he doesn’t want to, right?” you pressed the up button for the elevator, feeling slightly relieved when no one was on it.
“but!”
“i’m sorry, i have to go. have a great day.” once you stepped in the elevator, you took a deep breath, scratching your head in frustration. as you got to the respective floor, you made your way down the hall, knocking softly at the apartment door. chan opened the door, the wafting smell of burnt food coming out.
“what the fuck did you burn?” you took your shoes off as fast as you could, pushing past him, as you rushed over to the kitchen. there vernon was, splashing water into the pan, as calm as he could be. your eyes were wide as you sat the iced coffee down and walked to the older man, grabbing the pan from the still-hot stove eye. you held the pan away from you as you turned the heat off of the stove, tossing the pan in the sink you sat your empty hand on the counter looking at him.
“i... i was making sauce for hot wings,” vernon told you, rubbing the back of his neck. 
“you took the hot part a little too literally, i fear. i have cake.”
“you went to a cafe without us?” chan asked, making his way into the kitchen, looking at you with a pout.
“i was on a date…” you walked past the two of them, sitting on the couch, still holding out the box for one of them to take. vernon was quick, snatching it from you as he took a seat in one of the side chairs. chan sat beside you, looking at you.
“how was it?” chan asked, leaning back into the couch.
“i mean, it was okay. it would've been better if he didn't bring his best friend and talked to him the whole time.”
vernon laughed awfully loud, beginning to dive into the cake, “his best friend? wow.”
you shrugged, looking at chan who was already looking in your direction, “i’m really not good at this, am i?”
“it isn't your fault,” he said, patting your head softly. the small show of affection made you want to fall for this man all over again. you mentally slapped yourself as you masked any sort of reaction with a pout. 
“you keep saying that, but i’m the one who keeps choosing to go on dates with them.”
“everyone deserves to go out, you just haven't found the right person to do that yet…” vernon nodded to chan’s words, tossing the empty box on the coffee table. you thought that you had what you needed in the beginning, but at the same time, your thoughts weren't reality. you just sighed, making yourself comfortable on the couch.
“miss choi talked about her son again.”
“of course she did,” chan laughed, running a hand through his hair. “she doesn't ask anyone but you.”
“i’ve never seen the guy, so i’d rather not.”
“chan, don't forget,” vernon said, showing his phone to the younger one. chan’s eyes widened before he got up to rush to his room. you looked at vernon, your eyebrows raised at the sudden outburst. vernon noticed your confusion, “he has a date.”
why did that sentence make you feel weird? you knew it shouldn't because of the dates you've been on, but something about it worked your nerves. “oh~ that's good he’s getting back out there.”
“you're jealous,” vernon deadpanned. you gawked, shaking your head.
“no, i am not!”
“you are and it's okay.”
“hansol, i am not jealous.”
it was vernon’s turn to gawk at you. the use of his first name caught him off guard, “fine, you aren't jealous, but… are you leaving or staying?”
“why? you want me to leave?” you asked, kicking your feet up on the couch, leaning on the armrest to face him.
“no, i’m asking because seungkwan is coming over and you know how you two get.”
“what!? what do you mean?”
“loud.”
“fuck you vern.”
he shrugged as chan rushed from his room with a bottle of cologne. he sprayed himself multiple times, tossing the bottle on the couch as he took his keys from the counter, “don't wait up!” he yelled before running out the door. as you watched him leave, you continued to look at the door, that was until seungkwan barged in.
“who’s ready to party?” he asked, grinning.
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you weren't sure how you ended up in vernon’s bed, but once you realized it, you were too tired to move from the spot. your head was aching and you looked at both seungkwan and vernon who were on the floor and at the foot of the bed asleep. you let out a groggy sound, turning over to look at your phone, groaning once you saw the time. it was around 9 am and you needed to eat before you took something for the major headache you had. 
as you moved out of the bed, you walked out rubbing your head, one eye closed shut, and for some reason your mind in a haze. you decided to walk over to chan’s room to see if he was awake. you wanted to ask him if he wanted any breakfast already knowing seungkwan and vernon would need it once they woke up, but you came to stop when all you saw was him laid up, asleep with a girl by his side. you felt sick. you didn't know if it was the hangover or that jealousy thing vernon was talking about, but you made a b-line to the bathroom. you shut the door, rushing to your knees beside the toilet. 
you didn't realize you were crying until you stood up to look at yourself in the mirror after puking out any and everything from the previous night. your lip gloss was long gone from your lips, your hair slightly messed up from whatever style you put it in prior, and now your eyes were trickling unnecessary tears. all you could do was faintly laugh at your appearance.
“stop crying, fucking wimp,” you told yourself, wiping your eyes away from the tears, but it didn't seem like it was working. you looked in the small cabinet, finding the facial wash vernon has been talking you into using on the first shelf. you took it, applying a bit to your hands before scrubbing your face clean of whatever makeup was left. once you dried your face off, you looked at yourself once more, deciding to make an excuse for the red eyes as you walked out. “cooking, that’ll do me well.”
you went to the kitchen, opened the fridge, pulling out whatever they had that you could at least try to cook. as you were fixing the food, you heard footsteps behind you and the sound of vernon’s voice. “what's that smell?” “it's the smell of food vernon.”
“good morning, my sweet hungover friends. i made food,” you plated everything, turning around to find vernon and seungkwan as messed up as you. you smiled at them, sliding the plates over to them on the island. as you grabbed your plate and leaned up on the counter to start eating, you watched as chan came from his room to stand behind the two of them, shirtless and wearing glasses. 
“you made breakfast?” he asked with a smile, walking to look at the food. you nodded in response, staring down at your plate. vernon looked at you for an extensive amount of time, looking at every part of your face, almost analyzing it.
“your eyes are red. you okay?” he asked, causing seungkwan to look up as well. seungkwan’s face contorted in worry, but you were quick to calm them. you looked at the two of them, shaking your head with a smile.
“i woke up pretty sick, maybe it's from that.” the both of them looked at each other before looking back at you, deciding to take your word on it. you heard another pair of footsteps and a soft girlish voice talking, causing seungkwan and vernon to shoot a look behind them. you kept your eyes on the now empty plate as you picked at little crumbs that were left there. 
“oh? morning,” you heard seungkwan say to the mystery girl. once you looked up, you caught sight of a brunette petite girl, a short dress hanging sloppily from her body.
chan slightly tensed when his friend talked to the girl. he shifted from behind you, walking over to the door with his arm wrapped around the girl’s waist. there the feeling was again, you wanted to release your guts into the toilet yet again. you stood upright and saw chan come back to the kitchen. you walked over to the sink, washing your plate off before turning back around.
“i’ll see you guys later, i um... i gotta run errands. yeah.. that's what i have to do. bye,” you went over to the living room, grabbing your jacket and bag, you slipped your shoes on before rushing out of the apartment. all of the boys looked at each other in confusion at your sudden departure.
“who was that?” vernon asked chan, the fork plopping onto his plate.
“oh, um, someone,” chan said, beginning to eat. neither of the boys was buying it and chan knew, so he gave up. “it was just a one-night stand… just for fun, you know?”
seungkwan rolled his eyes at his friend, “idiot.”
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date four.
maybe you shouldn't have been so harsh for the first few dates, because this one was atrocious. teenage boys surrounded you and other onlooking single men sat all around you. maybe they had girlfriends but you weren't sure by how they were screaming and yelling… over a video game they weren't even playing.
if you knew that your next date would have been at a competitive overwatch tournament, you wouldn't have shown up. you looked around, the only thing getting you through was the beer that sat beside you. you were all about showing your date what you're interested in, but this–
“come on! that’s so unfair,” your date, wonwoo, said, barely audible.
–this was too much. you could have even dealt with going to a pc cafe. you went with chan and vernon quite a bit when you were in a relationship, and they were pretty enjoyable, but something about watching others play games and having others scream over them instead of the actual players felt weird. again, you didn't mind it (yes you did), it was like a concert of some sort, but dammit, you wanted to leave. 
you remembered when wonwoo had told you he was really excited to get to know you, but the man was shy. like extremely shy. you offered to go get burgers after this event, but he said nothing. he nodded. that's it. you sat there and chugged the beer, sitting the cup aside, enduring more screams from many of the men.
once it ended, you left with wonwoo on your side, “so... burgers?”
wonwoo looked at you, pushed his glasses up, and walked away. you stood there in pure shock.
“where the fuck are you– hey! you're my ride!” you exclaimed, trying to follow him, but he only sped up. you groaned, not wanting to follow him any further as you watched him turn a corner leaving your sight. so much for this date.
once you turned your head you found yourself in the proximity of an actual burger restaurant; you were shocked at how ironic it was and said a soft, “huh” in disbelief. once you walked in you spotted chan’s date from the night you stayed over, your eyes squeezing shut hoping she was just a hallucination. when you opened your eyes and she wasn't gone, you just hoped she didn't see you once you took your seat, but it just so happened she was your waitress. you were hoping she didn't recognize you since you had your head down for your very brief encounter, but your fears came to reality.
“welcome to– oh– hey, you're chan’s friend.”
you looked up at her, putting on your best fake smile, “ah, yeah i am.”
“we didn't get to meet properly, i’m jiwoo. nice to meet you.”
“nice to meet you as well… i’m y/n.”
“so~ what would you like to eat today?”
she was so pretty, you couldn't blame chan for moving on to her. you wouldn't say it was an upgrade, you weren’t sure about bringing yourself down in this sort of situation, but she was beautiful. you didn't get a chance to look at the menu because of your excessive staring. you shook yourself out of whatever trance she had you in to tell her that whatever she likes, you were sure to like as well. how caustic. 
once she came back with your drink, she gave you a smile and walked off. you really couldn't dislike her, she just… seemed way too sweet. you never did like it when waiters sat down with you when you ate, but talking to her seemed really easy. it seemed like a date with her rather than the date you had just been on. she made you laugh, she even took your word when you said that you came here alone just to come you know, alone.
“so, tell me. chan seems like such a sweet guy. do you– do you think you could give me pointers. you've obviously known him longer than me,” she said, catching you off guard. again, the irony of the said man’s ex helping out a woman who was widely interested in him. you nodded your head, agreeing that you did know him, inside and out; you didn't say that, but you were surely thinking it.
“i mean, i think chan just likes someone who is solely them. he’s a really loving guy, affectionate, and truly adores who he’s with. as long as you treat him right, he’ll treat you right.”
she nodded along, looking down at the plate of food you had, “you're really sweet y/n… i hope you find someone who matches you. not like the guy who ran from you.” you looked at her in shock, watching her stand up. “i was serving on the patio, and i saw the guy walk away, even though i didn't get a clear view of you, i knew it was you when you came in right after the incident.”
you nodded, your eyes still widened as you pulled your card out to pay. she just shook her head, saying the meal was on her since you helped her out. you smiled, saying thank you before walking out.
you were really in some deep shit.
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date five… and six?
now you realized why people didn't go out on dates with miss choi’s son. he wasn't ugly, frankly, he was hot as fuck, but the problem was… he didn't know how to plan a damn date (but honestly who did at this point). here you were sitting behind a guy you also knew since you matched with him on tinder as well, jihoon. why was he there? well, you were sat on a couch… in jihoon’s studio… listening to seungcheol rap. 
seungcheol was honestly paying most of the date money for the session, and the lyrics to his song were very–how would you describe this–pathetic. you wondered why he brought you there but discovered his mother had told him all about you and how you didn't want to go on a date with him; his lyrics really broadcasted how he felt about you and the choices you had made regarding him. you would've been mad at his attempts to diss you, but the beat jihoon had produced was all too good. 
jihoon sat in his wheeled desk chair with his jaw dropped at the way seungcheol was lashing out at the mic. it was embarrassing for him, especially since you were sitting right there, listening to every single word that was spewing out of his mouth like venom. you knew you weren't getting dinner out of this, so you quietly stood up, but not quiet enough.
jihoon turned to look at you, his eyebrows raising, “you're leaving?”
“oh, yeah. i mean… i don't think i’m actually gonna be able to talk to him after this, so yeah,” you answered, picking up your belongings. he was quick to talk you into staying, saying he would buy you food if you did stay. he told you that seungcheol is sometimes very temper influenced so he didn't want you to mind him.
once finished, seungcheol listened to the song, nodding to the beat. you listened along, your arms crossed over your chest, your teeth clenching once seungcheol looked at you with a satisfied smirk.
jihoon paused the track, looking over at his friend, “all this… and i mean all of this–” jihoon paused his sentence to express what he was saying with his hands motioning all over the place before refocusing on what he was saying, “because y/n didn't want to go on a little date with you?” seungcheol merely nodded, looking at the younger with his lips pressed together in a meek smile. he was a cocky little shit, it pissed you off.
jihoon sighed looking at you apologetically. you shrugged, looking over at the black-haired male, his body crouched as his hands crossed in front of him. he and jihoon continued to consult about the direction of the song until seungcheol had to go. you didn't let him leave without telling him to unmatch with you on tinder, a scowl falling on his face.
“i’m so sorry about him,” jihoon said, grabbing his phone as he turned his cap backward so he could rub his face.
“you shouldn't be the one to apologize. he should, but you and i both know he won't.” jihoon nodded, sighing softly. jihoon ordered you two late-night foods, engaging you in one of the best conversations you've had on a date. the guy was passionate about his career and you really loved an ambitious man, the only thing wrong was that neither of you felt anything more. you both talked until you needed to get home, and after thanking jihoon and giving him your number, you left with a smile on your face.
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chan knew something about you, you were headstrong, stubborn he might say. so when you came to his door, pounding on it like a madwoman he knew exactly what it was for: another bad date that you refused to not go on. you stood there, soju in hand and chicken in the other. chan gladly let you in, not because of the food and drinks (although it was a plus), he didn't want to see you upset. 
you looked over at chan, mouth stuffed with food, a small smile on your face. this was the first time you’d talked to chan after the whole four days of not talking to him. to you, that felt like an eternity. you felt as if you were being a bit petty to him by leaving him hanging for something so small, but the shock was evident the day of. 
“so, how’s it been with jiwoo,” you asked almost absentmindedly, looking back down as your toothpick dug into another piece of the boneless piece of chicken. you didn't notice the frown that fell over chan’s face once you brought up the girl’s name, but he quickly changed it once you looked back up at him.
“oh, yeah, i don't know. i don't think it's gonna work out between us, she’s cool, not for me though.”
you looked at him with wide eyes, your brow shortly after, furrowing in confusion. you remembered the talk you had with jiwoo about chan and believed the advice you gave her was a prompt way to understand chan a bit more, but unbeknownst to you, chan had already turned down any idea of them dating… the first date. “what? what happened to ‘getting back out there’?”
“well, i am, but for her, i only said i was going on a date, that's it,” chan crossed his legs, wiping his face off. “plus, what an odd topic of conversation after not talking to me for almost five days.”
“it was four, asshole.”
“four, five, same difference. anyways, who's next on the to date list?”
“some guy named, junhui. he really seems cool.”
“you said that about the last thirty dates didn't you?” he teased, finishing off the last bit of chicken you both had. you scowled at him, throwing your toothpick his way. he dodged it, tossing a dirty napkin at you, making you throw up your fist in retaliation. “whoa whoa killer, calm down now.” you slowly dropped your fist, the scowl not leaving your face. “good girl,” chan said, not noticing how those two words made your tipsy mind go for a nice turmoil. 
you’d always had that little praise kink, and since you had a few shots of the peach-flavored soju, you couldn't help but clear your throat to hide the growing arousal in your pants.
“anyways, you gonna tell me about the date you went on yesterday or what?”
“fuck miss choi’s son, that backstabbing old lady. remind me to only speak to her husband from now on,” you shifted in your seat, rolling your eyes.
“uh-oh, what happened?” he asked, leaning over to grab the shot of soju he’d left for himself.
“that sick, good-looking dude took me on a studio date. the only problem was, the whole song was about me! the song was good and that's why i hate him even more! he’s so damn pathetic. i would never, and i mean never, date someone whose tinder bio is ‘music artist’ again. i just, i mean, what the fuck, you know? and you know what else, that loser is so cocky i couldn't even understand it. it really did stress me out chan, like…”
chan sat and listened to every word you said. he took a mental note to ignore miss choi as well, just for the time being. chan got annoyed by the sounds of the guy, but once he saw you perk up about the second half, his demeanor faltered, smiling at your giddiness. he did feel that pang of jealousy come back over him, yet decided to ignore it(especially after you told him you felt nothing more for the guy) opting to continue smiling at the soft laughs you let out. the conversation continued until your phone buzzed, a signal for you to leave. once you left, chan was left alone, the jealousy becoming a bigger pain than he thought. 
every date was getting more and more intolerable for him. he would never admit it to you. chan was never a confrontational guy. back in your relationship, yes there were arguments, but were they from his own insecurities? nope. he kept most of his jealousy down and didn't want it to come in between the two of you. unlike you, chan was a closed book, only opened on some marked, annotated pages. he remembered the day back in high school when he had asked you to date him, it wasn't even his idea to ask you out as quickly as he did. 
all of the seniors had their noses in books, and for some reason, chan’s nose was buried on wiki-how. he searched and searched for how to ask out a girl in five simple steps, but didn't follow a single step. seungkwan had pushed the younger to ask you out, wishing he’d do it quickly because he couldn't take the longing stares your way and the constant napkins they'd bring for him because of his drool puddles. once he did ask you out, you were more than ready to be in a relationship with him. 
that was another thing you thought you got wrong in the relationship, not going slow. rushing into something as big as being in a relationship with your long-term high school crush was something you could never get again. it did way more harm than it did good, no matter how you two looked at it. now you two were stuck in this non-communicating friendship. you both deserved better, even if that better wasn't coming from each other. 
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date seven (not really).
there was something therapeutic about these types of days: cooped up in your apartment… your ex-boyfriend sitting beside you as you wallow in sorrow from yet another failed date. usually, women sat with friends, cups of wine, tubs of unearthed freezer-burned ice cream with a spoon deep in it as they clawed at the remains of the sweet treat, but here you were, your only actual friend being your ex as you complained to him yet again.
“i just don't get it, you know?” it wasn't that you were sad, it was more so you were actually looking forward to this date (nothing new), this junhui guy seemed like so much fun; that was until he pulled up to an advanced martial arts center. you watched from outside, looking at the many many people getting slammed to the ground, and decided on a firm no. you told him a nice ‘thank you’ before leaving and unmatching the profile from your tinder. you didn't hear him out, you couldn't. the way he already looked like he would use one of those moves on you even if you were in the car frightened you. he was a peculiar man.
chan nodded, his feet kicking up on the top of your coffee table as he snuck another drink of your beer. he shrugged, looking towards you as he stretched his arms forward, keeping the beer in hand. “where do you even find these men at? like it's making me feel bad now.” he tilted the nose of the beer bottle towards you.
“you didn't feel bad before?” you stole your beverage out of his hand, head tilting in confusion. as you swigged the beer you missed the way he chuckled softly at your bafflement. as you set the bottle down, you almost gagged at the taste. “how could you drink that? it's flat.”
chan grinned and got up from his seat, swinging his legs off the table, his socks sild over the hardwood towards the kitchen to grab another beer: one for you and one for him. as he came back, you took one from him, hitting the top on the side of your coffee table to get the cap off. 
“to answer your question, it's not like i didn't feel bad, it's more like i already knew. you're never gonna find better than me,” he joked, hopping on the couch.
“shut up chan. i’m being serious,” you drew your fist back, a laugh coming from his mouth, getting comfortable once more beside you.
“my bad. i’m just kidding!”
“so, what about you? have you figured out your situationship with jiwoo?”
chan shook his head, leaning his head back on the armrest to look up at the ceiling, “don't ask me about that.”
“what? why?” you shoved his legs off the couch and turned your body towards him with a small frown. 
he tipped his head to look at you, sighing, “what's your infatuation with her? you wanna date her now or what?”
“i mean she is a sweet girl, i just want someone good for you…”
“well, i’m glad you're so concerned but stop asking me ab–” chan stopped his sentence midway, pulling out his buzzing phone, his eyes widened before he jolted up. “sorry, i gotta go. i forgot i had something to do for the rest of the night. i’ll see you later, okay? call me if you need me.”
“where are you going?” you asked as he slipped his jacket up over his shoulders.
“to bang bitches and get high.”
“lee chan!”
he walked to the door with a large grin, “i’m joking, maybe... okay bye!” before you could ask anything further, chan ran out, nearly breaking your door from how hard he slammed it. you jumped at the sound of the door, looking towards the front as chan came back in to say a quick ‘sorry’ before closing it again softer this time. once chan left the threshold of your apartment, you let out a groan.
“‘i just want someone good for you’? what the fuck?” you slammed your head gently on the closed door, bending down to a squat. “are you a fool?”
you groaned to yourself, not wanting to ponder any longer on the situation, but it did keep you up for a bit.
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date eight.
you could've sworn you were done with this whole online dating thing. you've been on seven unsuccessful dates and had fallen into the idea that dating just wasn't your thing, but dammit you were desperate for some sort of affection–
“fuck, you feel so good.”
–maybe not as desperate as this.
the date had gone okay. he took you to a nice petting zoo sort of thing, you rode trains together, fed animals, and he was such a pleasant guy to be around. by the end of the afternoon date, he took you to a pretty little restaurant that wasn’t too packed. you got to know a lot about him and he knew how to hold a basic conversation, but goodness did he talk a lot. it wasn't bad, but it wasn't the best when it was a two-person date. you gave him the basics, name and age because that was all you could get out. 
by the end of the night, he asked you to go back with him to his place which you thought he was a good enough guy to go with. now you regret it. he hyped himself up in the car, telling you how good his dick was and how he could make you dumb with just his good skills; that itself was a red flag. here you were, laid up in this man’s bed with everything on except your pants and panties. 
at this point, you were fucking him by how loud his groans were and how quiet you were. you laid on your back, looking up at the ceiling, rolling your eyes at his attempts at dirty talk. you didn't want to crush the poor soul's heart, but he was doing a terrible job at living up to expectations. his eyes were shut, sweat dripping from his forehead as you let out the best fake moans you could. 
wanting to get this over with, you clenched around him causing him to shudder in pleasure. he halted his movements, coming in the condom as he rubbed your pussy lips, possibly thinking it was your clit, but your sweet clit was hiding from the man. you winced at the feeling, continuing your manufactured moan performance.
“i’m gonna come,” you tried to make it as believable as you could, the sarcasm not getting to the man's head as he smirked cockily.
“come for me.”
you’d never had to fake an orgasm before yet somehow you were a natural at it under pressure. once he pulled out, he lay on the bed, knocked out instantly. yep, you definitely fucked him. you muttered under your breath, kicking your legs off the side of the bed as you looked around the room. you found a desk that had tons of supplies on it, standing to your feet as you walked over to it. you slipped on your panties and jeans, grabbing a slip of paper and a pen. you looked at the man who was fast asleep, writing something along the lines of ‘good date, bad sense of reality soonyoungie…’. you left the slip of paper with a small smiley face hoping there were no hard feelings as you slipped out. 
you were left unsatisfied. you were thinking of running to chan’s and saying ‘fuck the breakup, i need you to rearrange my insides the best you can…’ but you pussed out. if the two of you were going to move on peacefully, hookups with one another shouldn't even be in discussion in your brain. 
you made it back to your apartment safely, throwing down your bag in frustration, and took off the clothes you had just been in. you laid in bed, panties and bra clung to you as you tried to think of the most pornographic scenes, but none of it seemed to work. your mind kept drifting to your ex, no matter how much you tried to redirect your thinking. you groaned, pulling out your phone as you pulled up undeleted videos you had kept of the said man; why did you have them? you couldn't even answer that for yourself. most videos chan used to send you consisted of dirty talk… pure filth. 
the video you pulled up was a black screen, soft sounds coming from it, presumably from him stroking his own cock. he let out a hushed chuckle, “why’d you have to leave so damn soon, hm? you went to your hometown… and now i’m stuck here, fucking my hand to the thought of you. i hate you, you know that?”
you don't even think you were paying attention to any of the words he was actually saying, your fingers grasping the hem of your panties, dragging them down to your ankles. you kicked them on the floor somewhere as you rubbed the tips of your soft fingers on your slit. for the past year, you had to satisfy yourself. for the past year, you had to settle for fingers that weren't anyone else’s. for the past year, no matter how much you were trying to move on, the lust you had for chan took over.
you were so lost in the sound of chan’s moans and your whimpers that you didn't realize how close you were from rubbing your clit. it was impressive how chan could make you come quickly even if he wasn't there with you. 
once you came down from your high, you stared at your dark ceiling, with no sound but the cars outside and your soft pants. what were you doing and what the hell was wrong with you?
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date nine.
you shouldn't have blown off jun that time. you shouldn't have. this was way worse than being body slammed into a cushioned floor. you never thought you were that out of shape, but dammit, this joshua guy really did bring you to the light. you normally loved hiking… when you could keep up. the man took the longest strides and never waited for you to catch up. 
to be frank, you don't even think he looked at you much; it was weirdly familiar, deja vu-ish really. thankfully, you both made it to the halfway point. you plopped on a bench, chugging the rest of your water, looking over at your date. there he stood, back muscles protruding out of his black t-shirt as he pressed the pad of the vending machine. you probably missed your mouth with the water a couple of times, too focused on his back that you've gotten used to since that's basically all you've seen since being on the date.
when he turned around from getting his drink, his focus wasn't on you. man, this guy was a keeper; staring at every girl that passed by his view, smirking at anyone who made eye contact with him, what a good guy.
as he made eye contact with you, you could see a small frown return on his face. you crossed your arms, your personality refusing for you to brush it off. you stood from the bench walking over to the jerk of a man, standing in front of his built figure.
“what's up with you? you must be a great guy to get to know, hm?” you fumed, his attention now on you, but not the way you intended when you had come on this date. 
“don't think i don't know about you,” he said, sipping his sports drink, a bit of it dripping from his mouth as he walked away from you. you tried for it not to distract you as the anger disappears for a bit once you comprehend what he just said to you.
“huh? what are you talking about?” you walked over to him, you caught a glimpse of his phone as he tugged it out of his pocket. you were close enough to him to see two familiar faces. “holy shit…”
joshua didn't know you had seen his wallpaper, but the words from before struck a nerve now that you knew what he was talking about.
“you absolute piece of shit. just like your garbage friends,” you indicated. joshua looked at you, his eyes narrowed as if examining you. he chuckled, leaning up on the railing that overlooked the view. he took another sip from the bottle, completely ridiculing you. “men.”
you started your way back down the trail, joshua yelling to you that he was your ride and you had no way home other than through him. he continued to yell at you, trying his hardest to keep you on that revenge date. you didn't bother turning around to face him as you flipped him off over your shoulder. you now realized why you felt deja vu, you knew why all of that felt way too familiar.
he was friends with both yoon jeonghan and choi seungcheol.
oh, how it made perfect sense.
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once you got home, you texted chan(of course) asking him to come over, yet again to take your mind off of things. chan looked at your message, texting you saying he’d be right over as he stood from his seat. vernon and seungkwan looked at their younger friend, both of them looking at each other and then back to him.
“and where do you think you're going, young man?” seungkwan asked, grabbing another handful of chips. chan put a finger over his lips, walked to his room, and grabbed his jacket that lay in the middle of his bed. when he made his way back into the living room, seungkwan spoke again.
“i thought you said you were done with jiwoo. i hope you're not going to play with that poor girl's heart anymore.”
“i was never playing with it from the get-go. i told her that what we had was a one-time thing, so don't make me out to be a bad guy,” chan said, texting you again to let you know he was on his way.
“so… where are you going then, big boy?” vernon asked, slapping seungkwan’s hand away from the folded chip. seungkwan looked at him, disgusted as he grabbed a different chip.
“to y/n’s,” your name barely left his lips, yet the two on the couch let out obnoxious groans. “oh?”
“i told you he was a masochist,” vernon mumbled to seungkwan. seungkwan hit vernon’s shoulder, looking over at chan. seungkwan tried his hardest to put on a fake smile, failing awfully at it.
“chan… why do you… you know… why do you keep doing this to yourself?” seungkwan asked, his hands crossing in his lap. 
“what are you talking about?” chan asked. it was apparent what seungkwan was getting at. it was obvious as daylight, the only ones seeing darkness being you and chan; though chan saw a bit more light than you did.
“you know exactly what he's talking about. stop denying you're still in love wi– ow!” seungkwan pinched vernon’s arm before he could finish speaking. chan’s eyebrow rose before piecing together the situation. he let out a laugh, crossing his arms over his chest. the two on the couch looked at the younger with confusion. “what's so funny?”
“nothing,” chan was still smiling, “look, it's just me going over to comfort a friend. it's nothing bigger than that.”
“yeah, but look chan, we just… we don't want you getting hurt. we like y/n too but you know what the breakup did to you, and vernon’s told me how you've been seeing her so often,” seungkwan spoke slowly, almost as if he was taking care of a balloon that could burst at any point. seungkwan stood up from where he was sitting, walking over to chan. chan’s smile left his face slowly.
“i don't know what you're getting at. look, she decided that we should move on and just stay friends. she doesn't want to talk about the breakup, she just wants a simple move on, you know?” 
“okay, great, but is that what you want?” vernon asked, leaning further into the couch, the chip bowl now in his possession since seungkwan got up.
chan did take note of how many times he said “she” instead of “we”. it didn't make his point any more convincing than he wanted to make it. seungkwan wrapped his arm around the younger one. chan chuckled a dismal chuckle at himself, if he were his own friend, he’d also think he was pitiful. it took a while–almost a month and a half–for him to come to his senses. 
“chan?” seungkwan questioned gently.
chan rubbed his face, his friends' words dawning fully on him, “i’m a fucking idiot… aren't i?” he turned to seungkwan.
seungkwan saw the sadness in the younger’s eyes as he shook his head and brought chan to the couch to sit, “not an idiot, just a man in love with someone who can't seem to comprehend that or his feelings correctly.”
“so basically an idi– stop hitting me!” 
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you sat there. when ten minutes passed, you thought nothing of it. when thirty minutes passed, you grew worried. when three hours passed, your mind instantly went to the worst. chan was a ten-minute walk away from your place and one thing about lee chan was that he was punctual. you brought your phone up to your face, texting him again. it took a while but you saw he had read it. the three bubbles popped up, your hope still hanging by a thread. you gleamed, as the bubbles kept going, and going, and going… until they disappeared and you were left with “read”. 
you stared at it. you stared at it for a really long time. you brushed your teeth and stared. you ate leftovers and stared at it. you sat in your bed and stared at it. in your dreams you could've sworn you saw it.
he left you on read. what did you do? is he doing this to make you go crazy? he said he was on his way. did he get kidnapped? nah, chan talks a lot, they'd let him go the minute they got him. maybe an old lady gave him an apple, now he's poisoned! ah, y/n you're an idiot. you were so lost in your thoughts, that the only thing that got you out of them was the smell of burnt toast from the toaster. you groaned to yourself, juggling the piece of toast between both hands until it fell in the trash. 
you walked back to your room, looking to find the cat still on your window sill. you can only imagine he was there from last night. you sat with your legs crossed in front of your window, sighing softly, “what do you think tabby cat? what could me being left on read mean?” the cat responded with nothing, as expected. you slapped your head, shaking it in disbelief. “i’ve gone mad? over being left on read… hah…”
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date ten.
“so how was it?” seokmin asked you, giving you the other half of his burger. you smiled at him, sitting your pasta in between the two of you as you nod at him.
“it was really good! i’ve always been a sucker for things like plays,” you admit, twirling your fork in the noodles. seokmin grinned, taking a bite of the burger. he covered his mouth before responding to you.
“i was a theater kid back in my high school days. well, i still am.”
“oh really? is theater your major?” you asked, slurping up the last noodle from your fork. he shook his head, wiping his mouth.
“i already work in musical theater. i started right when i got out of high school. wanna hear something?”
“you mean–”
“me singing right now? yes.”
he gave you no time to respond as he burst out into song. your eyes widened as he stood from his seat, acting out movements as well. you were embarrassed, but he was a phenomenal singer. the whole restaurant had their eyes on him. his voice boomed to where even some non-patrons stood from outside the door to look in. you couldn't believe that your date had turned into dinner and a show but why were you surprised at this point. 
seokmin, however, had been the best date you'd been on in the past month(not saying much).  he was sweet, he knew how to let you speak, and you were even sharing the food you both got. this little outburst in a random musical song really couldn’t ruin how you looked at him, despite being very embarrassed. as he finished the song, the whole restaurant clapped, the people outside clapped, and you clapped; he was amazing, but you really needed to know his mbti.
he sat back down in front of you, the same beaming smile on his face.
“what was that?” you asked him. you ate your half of the burger, looking at him in astonishment. 
“oh, that? just a musical i’m leading in. you should come to see it when it comes out!” he exclaimed. he picked at the pasta, eating some of it as he waited for you to respond in anticipation.
“sounds fun, what's the musical called?”
“xcalibur. i’m playing king arthur.”
“that's awesome, although i don't know the roles. a king sounds great, also seokmin, i have a quick question.”
“yeah, what's up?”
“what's your mbti?”
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“infp? he's an introvert? there’s no way…” you shook your head, sat down your things, and walked into your room. with a soft grunt, you laid back on your bed. you pulled your phone out, looking back over the text message you'd sent to chan last week. it still says read y/n, it hasn't changed.
you sighed to yourself, sitting the phone on your stomach. you wanted to call him, you wanted to ask him what was wrong, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. the last time you had called it went straight to voicemail. the last time you facetimed him, you were stuck staring at your own reflection on the phone. you'd never been more confused than you were now. 
you were both happy, so you thought. you both found that being friends was easy, so you thought. you thought you were both over that feelings stage, again, so you thought.
you thought you were both good at pushing down feelings… but you definitely weren't. you missed him. you needed him now. chan was always someone you looked for when a date didn't result in what you predestined it to be. 
now, you were alone. 
you had no one to talk to about what happened at the restaurant, you had no one to rant about not being able to date properly, and you were lonely. his friends were your friends. his friends only became your friends when you two started dating. now you both were back to how it was when the breakup happened. you couldn't text or call vernon or seungkwan, you felt it wasn't your rightful place.
you looked over to your window sill, the cat nowhere to be seen. you scoffed at the irony. you were completely alone, wanting your bed to swallow you whole and take you away from your racing thoughts.
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weeks and weeks passed by, with no dates, no tinder, no matches. you deleted the app. you haven't contacted anyone, you have barely left your house, only going to capture pictures to keep your mind busy.
ever since you've cooped yourself in your apartment, you had time for yourself, time to think, time to come to an understanding with your feelings. it's so unruly how much time you took to come to terms that you were indeed head over heels for lee chan. the times you'd comfort yourself by looking at pictures the two of you had taken, the comfort you'd gotten from listening to his voice messages, he felt like home and you couldn't lose that.
you were stubborn, you knew what you wanted even though it took you forever to realize what that specific thing was. 
so as it rained over seoul, you didn't bother taking an umbrella; you wore your hoodie, running in the converse you wore. your clothes were getting soaked but you could care less, especially after he had opened the door. “hi.”
you shivered slightly at the soft breeze that came from his apartment. chan tugged you in, rushing over to his bathroom to give you a towel as he tossed it to you for you to wrap around yourself tightly. not long later, the two of you sat there in his living room in silence. neither of you spared a glance at the other. the tension was unbearable, but how was chan supposed to bring up why he stopped talking to–
“so, why did you… why did you stop talking to me?” well, that was easier than he thought.
“i… i don't kno–”
“don't pull that shit with me, chan. tell me the reason… if it's something i did, i’ll apologize and we can go back to how things were before this.”
“no we can’t,” he concluded, his fingers playing with his sweatpants lace. you looked at him, evident gloom on your face.
“w-why not? i mean, i thought things were going good, and then out of nowhere, you ghosted me,” so much for admitting to your feelings for him.
“this isn't good for either of us, y/n. and you fucking know that too, don't you?” he looked over at you, shaking his head in disappointment. “why do i even keep playing into your little bullshit plans? every. single. time.” you watched as he stood up, his arms crossing over his chest. 
“chan, what are you talking about? what bullshit plan–”
“this whole fucking thing y/n. you, me, we can never be friends,” he raged. he let out a huff, rubbing his face as he spoke softer. “you know it.”
“why are you saying this?”  
“some things… some things you can't just apologize for and expect shit to go back to your definition of ‘normal’. it's like you don't care about anyone’s feelings except your own!” he was back to yelling and the sudden outburst made you jump a bit. 
you looked at chan and something truly shifted in your mind. your sock-clad foot tapped on the wooden floors in soft pats until your leg began to bounce gently. the words melded into your brain and everything he said strengthened your anger.
you stood up from your seat, walking over to the man, eyes boring into his, “so… since i don't give a fuck about you as you say, i’m gonna do something that you hate. confront me chan, what are your feelings, huh?”
“i don't have to deal with this y/n, not with you. you can't force me to say shit–” you shoved him, dropping the towel that was around you. vernon wasn't there like how he was for your usual arguments. chan’s eyes pierced through yours, his fist clenching at his sides. 
“fucking say it!” you shoved his shoulder again, your voice growing louder as you snapped at him. you don't know where this kept anger came from, but better you get it out now than keep it in. 
“stop shoving me y/n or i swear to you–”
“what? you’ll do what, huh? stop being a fucking pussy and tell me how you actually feel.”
“what do you want from me? what do you expect me to say? none of it will get through that hard head of yours, will it?” one last shove from you sent chan off the edge, “fine! you wanna know what's so wrong with me? imagine having the love of your life make decisions for you all the damn time. watching her spend all her time on dumbass dates and spending all that time trying to move on from someone who still can't take her off his mind no matter how hard he tries. and just imagine this, he’s doing it all for her.”
as he spoke, you backed away from him as he got closer and closer and closer until you fell onto the couch. chan was seething in anger, his nostrils flared as he continued, “it’s always about, you, you, you, the only times you focus on me is when you want to see if i’ve moved on myself. don't you dare call me a pussy when you're the one who stormed out once she saw i had someone over.” “fuck you chan, i didn't storm out because of her.” chan knelt in front of you, the anger pouring from your eyes as tears filled them, “yes you did. stop lying, it's not cute on you.” the hot tears spilled from your eyes, your body beginning to shake, “what? you give but you can't take?”
you stood up, shoving past him, and began to walk out but your body was pushed back down on the couch. chan’s arm pinned you to sit as he continued to kneel in front of you, “fucking let me go,” you sobbed. chan hated watching you cry(when it wasn't in the bedroom), but he knew if you didn't talk now, you never would. 
“no… i’m not letting you walk out. i made that mistake a year ago and look where it got us… right now, we go by my rules, not yours. you made me talk, so now it's your turn.”
chan was patient. he sat there in front of you for almost ten minutes as you cried. his own eyes filled with tears, a few falling down his cheeks. your body calmed when chan’s hand found yours. he rubbed the top of your hand with his thumb. you opened your eyes, the instant eye contact making your heart wrench. 
“talk.”
“i… i thought we made a mutual agreement to move on from each other… i thought that's what you wanted, every decision i make isn't me wanting to be selfish. i swear it isn't,” you hiccuped, your hand shaking in his as you talked. you couldn't hold his gaze any longer. you looked down at your intertwined hands, the sight bringing you to more tears. you shook your head as you kept speaking, “i never wanted to hurt you back then chan. i was doing this moving-on thing because i didn't want to harm you anymore.”
“y/n…”
“no, you said i could talk, so let me. i beat myself up when we broke up and i know you did the same. i didn't want that for you, i didn't want to hurt you chan, i didn't,” you pitifully repeated yourself over and over quietly until you continued speaking. “but somehow… me being cautious of that hurt you even more.”
chan couldn't hold himself together any longer, his head dropped and the salty tears poured from his eyes.
“i love you lee chan, i love you more than anything. you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, i’m so fucking sorry i didn't treat you like you were. the dates, i stopped going on them a month ago. you were the only thing on my mind, you not texting back really did have me worried sick…”
chan chuckled a bit, saying a soft apology, wiping his tears away as he looked at you. he didn't want any more blame on either of you, he didn't want to have any more regrets when it came to you. chan didn't want to miss this chance. it was his turn to be selfish. chan took both of your hands in his, “i never agreed on moving on, but i can agree about putting myself down after i left you. i hated walking out instead of talking about what we needed to change and fix. i never want you to take full blame anymore, you hear me? now, how about this, let's have a redo. i’ll take you on a date like one of those tinder dates did, i’ll try to win your heart back.”
“you don't have to win it, you already have it… but a do-over sounds nice,” you lifted your head to look at him, wanting to kiss him, but you didn't rush it.
chan pulled his hands away from you, holding only one out, “hi, i’m lee chan.” he smiled with all he had.
“hi chan, i’m y/n l/n.” you returned the smile. 
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date eleven.
maybe you were biased or deeply and madly in love but this was the best date you'd been on. chan beforehand texted you “it’s a match!” not knowing how much trauma that phrase gave you. you cringed, begging him to tell you where you two were going, but he didn't budge.
it wasn't big, it wasn't grand, and it wasn’t a studio date(fuck seungcheol). chan knew you’d love it. your eyes grew at the neon signs and fluorescent lights that shaded your faces in blues and greens. 
a bowling arcade.
you remembered your first date with chan being in the same arcade. he brought you not knowing how competitive you were. turns out you didn't really have to be too competitive, chan was really bad at bowling. you kept your giggles and laughs to a minimum for the sake of him not having a mental breakdown. after a night of bowling, chan really did show you up that night in arcade games–not all of them–and made you eat the words you teased him with.
that night was perfect, but nothing compared to this night.
“you know, i’m kind of crazy when it comes to bowling now. you wouldn't believe it,” he bragged, wiping a ball down as he looked at you.
you nodded along with his assessment, pointing at the pins, “hey, you're right. i don't believe it. try knocking those down, big boy.”
he squinted at you, turned back to the lane, and lined up his shot… roll, and roll, and in the gutter it went. you covered your mouth, trying to stop the laugh that was going to escape but it was no use. you heard him groan, pointing behind him as he pouted. 
“i know, i know, go on and get that spare ‘crazy bowler’,” you quipped, watching him grab his ball. he lined up his shot once again, the ball curving to only hit two pins. 
“this isn't right, i demand a recount.”
“chan… you can’t… never mind.”
when it was your turn, you looked towards the lane, the smile you once had was replaced with a concentrated frown. you lined up the pitch, watching the ball roll. before it made it to the pins you turned to chan, pointed at him, and said, “you should get better at this.” the sound of the pins falling was heard behind you, and chan’s jaw dropped in astonishment. he stuttered trying to figure the situation out and when you turned around, you were stunned as well. 
the ball had only hit nine pins, the last pin being in the middle, the most unusual pin to still be up.
“how the…” you mumbled as you looked at the still-standing pin.
“that's more impressive than knocking them all down.”
“that's what i’m saying,” you said, your arms crossed as chan stood beside you, taking a picture of it.
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“how did you manage to get worse at something you were actually good at?” you laughed, as you both made your way to his apartment door. chan whined, struggling with the keypad a bit before walking in with a few stuffed animals you both had gotten from the prize store. none of the stuffies coming from any of chan’s won tickets.
“hey, it's not like i was that bad, it was more that i lacked skill, and the buttons were way too far apart,” he tried to convince. once you two made it to the living room, vernon and seungkwan were already staring at the two of you. 
you leaned over a bit from beside him and mumbled, “you said we’d be alone.”
“we were supposed to be.”
vernon was the first to put together the situation, scooting up on the couch, rubbing his eyes to make sure he was seeing things correctly, “wait a minute. wait a damn minute. did you two?”
“did they, what? go on a date? yes. did he not tell you?” seungkwan asked, looking over at vernon.
“no!”
“he’s been bugging the shit out of me, ‘what should i bring her?’, ‘how should i dress?’, ‘what type of food should i take her to get?’. how am i supposed to know? she's your ex,” seungkwan complained, the two of them talking like the both of you weren't there.
“i’m just flabbergasted as to why i wasn't told about this.”
“flabbergasted? vernon, did you just say flabbergasted? isn't that too big of a word for you?” you joshed. chan burst out into laughter beside you as seungkwan sucked in his lips to keep from laughing just as loud. 
chan quickly wiped the smile from his face to look at the older male, sending an accusatory finger his way, “hyung, i thought i told you that we were coming back here?”
“you did, but i wanted to see if it would fail or not,” seungkwan confessed, shrugging as he stood up. you furrowed your brows, crossing your arms over your chest as you stared at him. seungkwan quickly caught sight of your glare, his eyes widening as he shook his hands in front of him, realizing what he’d just said. “no. see, not like that. i’m not saying it would have failed like immediately. i’m just saying because… and… you… vernon let's go.”
vernon nodded, rapidly standing to his feet, “roger.”
both of you watched as the two of them ran from the apartment as promptly as they could, leaving you and chan alone. chan grinned at the running two as he went to his room, tossing the stuffed animals on his bed. he narrowed his eyes at the plushies before changing his mind, picking them back up and sitting them on an empty seat, facing the wall. he walked back over to his bed, pointing at it, “you’ll be used soon, don't worry.” he chuckled lightly at his little joke before walking back to the living room.
you were already sitting on the couch, patting the seat next to you as chan plopped down. “did you think the date would fail?” you asked him curiously, what seungkwan had said sending your mind into a frenzy. 
“no. did you?”
you looked at him, his eyes locking onto yours while you shook your head. you said a soft ‘no’ keeping eye contact, occasionally looking down at his lips. the last time you looked at his lips, he smirked a bit, snapping his fingers up towards his eyes. 
“my eyes are up here.” “yeah… and my eyes are down here,” you pointed at his lips, gingerly poking his bottom lip with the tip of your finger. chan grabbed your wrist, his hand gradually traveling up to interlock with yours.
“can you tell me something?”
“what's up?”
“how many of them did you kiss?” he questioned, playing with your fingers gently. his eyes never left yours. yours, however, faltered quite a bit.
“dates?” chan nodded. “one.”
“fucked?”
you almost choked on some spit that was about to go down your throat once the word left his mouth. you composed yourself as best as you could, gulping down the aforementioned spit, “one.”
“i see…” chan was angry. you could tell. he wasn't mad at you, but at whoever laid a finger on you in the first place. both pairs of lips you had he’d always expressed belonged to him. though he couldn't be too mad since he did sleep with someone himself. “how was it?”
“terrible…”
chan chuckled humorlessly, “mm… let me guess, he knocked out before you could even get to come.” you knew what this was leading up to as you tried to suppress your excitement. 
“basically,” you murmured, your lips sucked in as you tried keeping your smile brushed off your face. he nodded again, looking down at your hand that was perfectly linked with his, exactly how it should be.
his eyes went back to look at yours as he began to lean in. the hold by his hand grew tighter once your lips met. it was soft, delicate, and felt exactly how it did when you two were high schoolers kissing like nothing else mattered. you could feel his hands untangle from yours as he placed a hand on your face, deepening the kiss.
the kiss soon grew breathless, rough, feverish. it was hot, the only thing cooling you being the ceiling fan that was spinning above you two. you both pulled away from each other, his lips slightly reddened as his tongue brushed over his bottom one. you watched as he licked it slowly, your heartbeat in your ears at this point. “fuck you,” you stood up, grabbing his hand again before dragging him up from the couch to his room.
once the door closed, he pushed you against it, his lips attaching back to yours. his hands came up to your clothed breasts, gripping them both harshly causing you to pull away to watch his hands fondle you. you looked down at his hands as they gripped the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head. he tossed it behind him, his eyes focusing on your bra-covered breast. 
his lips connected to your neck, sucking at the skin. his teeth softly bit at the spot that he had just sucked on. he tore away from the marked skin, a proud smirk on his face. he trailed his fingertips along your hips to your back, unclasping your bra as you let it fall from your arms. he grabbed your hand, leading you to the bed. he pushed you down, a soft giggle leaving our lips. he smiled a bit, climbing on top of you, his lips kissing yours again. he mumbled softly, “i fucking missed you so much.”
you pulled back, looking him in the eyes, “then show me. show me how much you missed me.”
the look he gave you would’ve probably scared other girls away, the look he gave you was nothing less than devious. you knew how giving chan the ‘okay’ to wreck you made him act. he grabbed a hold of your legs, dragging you towards him. he unbuttoned your pants, taking both them and your panties off of you in one go. 
“you still have that little masochist side of you?”
“i went on ten bad dates and you're asking me that now?”
he laughed a bit, getting rid of his own shirt as he stood at the foot of the bed. his eyes raked each and every part of your body, his gaze landing on your dripping core. his hands gripped your knees, spreading them and raising them up so they touched your chest. he swiped two fingers along your slit as you choked on a whine once his palm connected to your folds with a sharp slap. he sat beside you, keeping an arm draped on the backs of your thighs to keep your knees to your chest. “i missed this even more,” he said, his middle finger dipping into your tight hole. he twisted and thrust the finger slightly, making your eyes fall shut, letting out a pitiful whimper.
“look at me.” your eyes didn't open, too focused on how his single finger made you feel more than anyone(soonyoung) could. “y/n.” chan stopped his finger, bringing his hand up to grip your jaw. he turned your head to look at him, your eyes finally opening half-lidded. 
“such a pretty girl,” he dropped his hand back to your waiting pussy, two fingers penetrating you. your breath hitched as his fingers gradually picked up their pace, your arousal slightly spattering against his palm. he pulled them out quickly, looking at you with a devious smirk on his face, noticing your upset expression, as he pushed his fingers back into you… only for him to pull out each time he pushed them in.
he may have missed you, but there was something about teasing you. he loved watching you whine, knowing it was for him and only him. you on the other hand hated it(secretly loved it). you wanted nothing more than to get him back for all the teasing, but chan would never allow it. domming him was never ever a question in chan’s mind. you'd tried once, but he never backed down on being on top. chan continued to tease you, watching and sneering at your writhing body. 
you were begging, begging for him to do something, begging for him to fuck you. he wiped his hand on your thigh and stood up once again. you looked up at him, putting your feet down on the mattress, keeping your legs spread open for him as he stripped free from his pants and boxers. he tutted his finger from side to side then pointed that single finger to you, rotating it as he signaled for you to turn.
you grinned, speedily turning on to all fours, bringing a pillow to your head as you arched your ass up towards him. he leaned over you, moving the pillow away, allowing your body to bend more into the arch as your head lay flat on the mattress. he stood back upright, kneading your ass in both of his hands, scarcely leaving small spanks. you, being the stubborn brat you were, shook your hips impatiently, knowing how mad it made chan. those small spanks became harsh as you let out a small squeak.
“chan… please…”
“keep begging, maybe it'll work in your favor,” his tip glided through your folds, stopping at your clit as he rubbed it gently. 
“please chan, need your cock so bad. missed it in me, missed your cum filling me up,” you whined, and for some reason, feeling yourself tear up already. you couldn't see behind you, but from the sound of chan’s chuckle and the tip of his cock pushing into you ever so slowly, he was enjoying every bit of it.
“more.”
“please chan, need you to fuck me.”
“that's it? doesn't seem like you really missed me as much as you said,” he taunted, pulling out of you. at the mere feel of him pulling away, you jolted up with wide eyes, shaking your head.
“no! please, i need you so bad, i’m begging. you don't understand how bad i need you chan,” you sat on your knees, bottom lip poking out in a pout and tears brimming your eyes. “i’ll even tell you how much i touched myself just thinking about you.”
“well, tell me,” he crossed his arms over his chest, smirking at you tauntingly.
“i… every time i fingered myself i… i pictured it was you just so i could come faster.”
“carry on…” he bit his lip, his hand wrapped around his shaft as he stroked himself.
“it was never enough, all i wanted was you to fuck me…it didn't feel the same. i don't know, i just… i just need you to be rough with me, please,” you said in nearly a whisper.
that seemed to do the trick because soon as you finished your sentence, chan pushed you back on the mattress, dragging you to the edge of the bed, his cock pushing into your pussy harshly; the squelching sound of your juices was the only thing heard in the room other than your sudden gasp.
chan didn't take his time with you. at all. his hands gripped your waist, almost destined to never let go. his hips pounded into yours, the feeling making your hands grip the sheet below you. “this is what my pretty girl wanted, right?” he asked in between grunts.
the tears that brimmed your eyes pooled down your face as you tried to give him a response but failed miserably. you could only muster up moans, but that was enough for chan. he fucked in you almost like he was proving a point to you. this was where you belonged, not with anyone else. 
“tell me how much you love it,” he leaned on you, his hips slowing a bit. 
“i love it so much, need more please,” you begged pitifully, feeling his teeth slightly bite your earlobe. 
“more, huh? this isn't enough for you?” he nodded to himself, standing back upright, grabbing your shoulders to bring you with him. he wrapped his arms around your waist tightly as he slammed you down on his cock. his hips moved in tandem with his pulls causing your eyes to roll back in pleasure.
“is this good enough, mm? is this what you wanted? you're taking me so well, you know that?”
“fu-fuck chan. feels so, ah, feels so fucking good,” you moaned out, leaning your head back on his shoulder.
one of his hands moved from the grip he had on you to hold onto your chin, tilting your face to his. he kissed you roughly, his tongue gliding along with yours. you were in a total haze. when you said that chan could make you come within a blink of an eye, you weren't lying… but as you felt your orgasm build, so did chan. your walls sucked him in deeper and as you were about to let out another moan, he pulled out with a thought popping up in his mind.
you turned your head to look at him, panting, tears still flowing down the plush of your cheeks, “please, don't… don’t fucking do this again.”
he chuckled, scooting you to the side as he sat down on the edge of the bed. he grabbed your hand, tugging you gently on his lap, your cunt hovering over his cock, tip prodding at your entrance. “wanna ride, or do you want me to do all the work?”
your eyes widened, your hands bracing on his shoulders, “you're letting me top?”
“don't be so surprised. do you want to or not? i’d be more than happy to–”
“when i need you to take over, will you?” you cut him off, playing with your fingers.
“a thousand percent,” he said, smiling softly. his demeanor did a full 360 on you, but sex with chan was always filled with surprises.
you smiled widely at him, pecking his lips before one of your hands dipped between the two of you, lining him up to your entrance. you sunk down on him until you bottomed out, both of you letting out content groans. you felt amazing around him, but you knew chan was waiting for you to come before he could. you started to bounce on his lap, clumsily, but enough for you both to get some bits of pleasure. chan let out an unexpected low moan that made you almost lose your mind and your nonexistent pace. you wanted–no, needed–for more of those to come from his mouth. you gripped his shoulders tighter, eyes squeezing shut as his cock grazed your walls entirely too well. he was holding onto your waist as tightly as he did when he was domming you, but this time it was for a vastly different reason.
you loved this, so much. you leaned back, hands on his knees as you swiveled your hips against his, clit brushing up against his pelvis. the extra stimulation had you throwing your head back in pleasure, letting out an unstable moan, unable to focus on your movements any longer.
“you did your best pretty girl,” he joked, leaning back on his hands, his left grabbing your thigh. “move your hips back against me, you hear me?”
you nodded, one of your fists clenching at your side while the other gripped his knee to keep yourself balanced as you languidly ground your hips against his length. he pumped up into you, focusing on how beautiful you looked: eyes closed, bottom lip tucked underneath the top row of your teeth as you tried to hide your breathy moans, your face stained with tear streaks, breasts moving up and down steadily as you rocked your cunt down on him. you really were his pretty girl. 
he watched as his lap puddled in your sweet arousal and swiped your clit with two fingers before bringing them up to his mouth to suck on them. you looked at him with the same hooded eyes as before. the way he sucked on his fingers making you clench down on his shaft. 
“you keep doing that, i’m gonna come faster than you get to,” he laughed airly, rubbing your thigh gently.
you smiled lazily, leaning up, bringing your lips to his. the air in the room, although still hot, became lighter. it was loving. chan had proven his point, now it was time to enjoy the moment with you for as long as he wanted. his hand moved from your thigh to your ass, slapping it before gripping the soft flesh. you sucked in a breath, pulling from his lips, looking over his expression. you bought your hands to cup his face, your swollen lips kissing his once again. 
“i love you y/n,” he mumbled against your lips. “so much.”
“i love you too.” 
“i’m gonna go faster now, okay?”
you said a soft ‘okay’, laying your forehead on his shoulder. chan’s pace quickened nearly instantly, the position you two were in gave chan a way to get to your g-spot easily. you moaned in his ear, eyes fluttering shut yet again.
“fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck,” you cried, turning your face away from him as his fingers toyed with your clit. you kept moaning ‘oh fuck’ like it was the only two words in your vocabulary. moans and curses spewed from your mouth until your body convulsed on top of him. 
chan held you to him, kissing your shoulder, slowing his thrusts to coax you through your high. as you came down, you breathed heavily, trying your hardest to steady yourself.
chan rubbed your back soothingly, “you okay?”
you nodded.
“i’m gonna come now okay,” he said, flipping you so your back laid onto the mattress, letting you climb to the head of the bed to rest your head on a pillow.
you nodded again.
he kneeled on the bed, pushing his cock back into you as he jerked his hips sloppily inside of you. you tried to moan, but the overstimulation was so overwhelming that your mouth fell open into a silent moan. you felt him twitch in you before ropes of his cum filled you to the brim. you shook a bit as he pulled out slowly, the sweat from his body melding with yours as he laid on top of you.
“so, did that show how much i missed you?”
“oh… fucking absolutely.”
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after the last date, chan continued taking you on them. the butterflies each time never left no matter how many dates he took you on. there was no doubting how much you loved each other, and after each amazing lovemaking session, and the quite daring quickies, you got back together. this time you two didn't rush into it, you didn't want to lose the love you both thought you had lost before.
it was finally after the last date, you two were cuddled up against the couch looking at whatever movie played on the tv as vernon and seungkwan came in looking at the two of you. 
“oh wow. you owe me twenty bucks,” vernon whispered to seungkwan a bit too loudly. seungkwan slapped the other’s shoulder, his face morphing into a frown.
“you guys were betting on our relationship?” chan asked, a scowl falling on his face, as well as a mimicking one on your own face. 
they both looked at you two with widened eyes before pointing at each other, “he started it!”
“vernon, you literally told me you wanted to see if it'll last. guys see, look it wasn't even me, i… hah… i thought you two were gonna prosper,” seungkwan tried sounding certain of himself, scratching the back of his neck before clapping his hands together. neither you nor chan’s faces changed from the previous scowls. vernon, obviously not catching the signals, spoke again.
“what? dude, you're the one who said ‘oh y/n might kick chan’s ass by the end of–’ ow!” vernon rubbed the side of his head. you glared at seungkwan as he bit down on his cheek, avoiding eye contact. vernon on the other hand was ready to slap seungkwan back, but seungkwan was quick to move away.
as the two argued and chased each other around the tight living room, chan looked at you and then at your hands that were laced together. perfect.
“you wanna go to my place instead?” you asked him, rubbing his hand softly. 
he looked up at you, nodding as he looked at his two friends and then you again, “yes please.” 
in a split second, you two were gone and vernon definitely got that twenty bucks.
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short taglist: @bang-bang-bangtxn​
can’t tag: @chwebychew
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goldenhypen · 2 years
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BABY … lee heeseung !!
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read PART ONE here (not necessary; the two drabbles can be read on their own, but they do go hand-in-hand)
PAIRING → idol!heeseung x fem!reader ; ft. riki (and jake) | GENRE → fluff, idol!au | WORD COUNT → 0.4k
AUTHOR’S NOTE → happy seungie day part two !! i hope you enjoy ^_^
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after growing so close with each of the members, inevitably, you eventually gained the glorious privilege to tag along for and attend enhypen performances with the boys. and this moment just happened to be one of those said opportunities.
you were sitting in the waiting room with heeseung and riki, as they had a performance they were getting ready for, scheduled for a time somewhat soon. and you three were just conversing and enjoying each other’s presence as laughs filled the room, as they always did whenever you hung out together. however, the delightful sound simmered to an end and the atmosphere grew serious as riki arose a sudden question.
“y/n,” the youngest boy started, “do you have a crush on any of us members?”
you froze for a moment before letting out a fit of semi-awkward chuckles, “pfft, why would you even ask that kind of question?”
he just looked at you with a suspicious smirk on his evil, little face before laughing slightly, “you like jake, right? i’m right, aren’t i?”
the youngest’s voice was filled with confidence and excitement.
“jake—? why would i—“
“well, you’re not denying it so—“
“no, of course i don’t have a crush on jake.”
and riki only responded by crossing his arms and looking at you, very much unconvinced.
you let out a loud sigh and rolled your eyes, giving up and sarcastically blurting out, “okay, fine! i have a crush on jake!”
just as you finished your little ‘confession,’ you stood up, eyeing heeseung’s reaction as discreetly as possible, only to find his expression was unreadable. you took a deep breath before beginning to walk away.
however, before you fully left, you quickly turned around, and in front of riki, you said to heeseung, “yup, i totally have a crush on jake!”
you grinned widely before completely changing the tone and volume of your voice, finishing, “‘kay, love you, baby, see you later!”
heeseung chuckled, eyes on you as he waved goodbye.
and with those final words, riki’s eyes went wide—you could’ve sworn you’d never seen them that big before.
and it was then that everything clicked in riki’s head as he thought back to what happened in the practice room the other day… it all seemed to make sense now.
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PART ONE → SHALL WE DANCE?
AUTHOR’S NOTE → thanks for reading !! that concludes the hee day drabbles, and i hope you all liked it ^_^ happy hee day again :’)) <3 also, as always, feedback and reblogs help a ton. love you guys <3
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Hopelessly Devoted | Bucky Barnes x Reader
Hi, friends! I have finally recovered from Covid and I’ve been in my feels lately about my less than stellar love life. 🥲
If you like what you read, throw me a reblog 🥰
Warnings: mutual pining, heartbreak, bad dates, idiots in love
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A light yet persistent knock waded its way through the dark waters of your consciousness. Your eyes lay fixed on the ceiling fan, watching its blades spin into infinity as you slipped into a rabbit hole of despair. All you wanted was to disappear into the abyss, to stop participating in life for just a little while. But that clearly wasn’t an option. The soft creaking of your bedroom door announced someone’s presence and, regardless your sudden aversion to socializing, a small smile pushed your lips upward at the sound of Bucky’s voice.  
“Hey, you…bad night?” His words were measured and his steps cautious as he tested the waters. It was Sam who’d first witnessed the black streaks running down your cheeks and the heels in your hand, and you’d assured him you were fine. But Sam texted Bucky the moment you headed upstairs- no one knew how to make you smile quite like Bucky. And as he observed you- still clad in your date night ensemble and resting sprawled atop your bed spread- he knew this evening hadn’t gone as you’d hoped. 
“I brought you a snack”, Bucky offered, “Oreos and peanut butter. Thought it might make you feel better”. 
And Bucky was right. With a quiet sigh, you dragged your body from the mattress and beckoned him in your direction. “Thanks, Buck…” you plunged your nails into the plastic and gave it a rip, freeing the Oreos from their packaging. Drowning your sorrows in snacks was exactly what you needed; Bucky somehow always knew what you needed. He watched as you dunked a cookie into the peanut butter before doing the same, offering you a ‘cheers’ as he nudged your Oreo with his.
“I can go if you’d rather be alone. I just wanted to check-” Bucky tried to stand from your bed, but your desperate hands gripped his forearm before he got away. 
“Stay. Please?” You knew you sounded needy- and it made you cringe - but Bucky’s presence was the only thing that could assuage your misery. The two of you were always there for each other- without question. He sought your embrace after each of his terrifying nightmares, and he brought you peace when your anxiety got the best of you. Bucky had never met anyone who made him feel as safe or as comfortable as you. And he had the exact same effect on you.
“I’ll stay. Of course, I’ll stay,” Bucky let his hand rest atop yours, bringing you the comfort you so desperately needed.
The two of you sat in silence for a few moments, a silence that didn’t need filling. Bucky looked on as you processed the terrible date you’d been on, and he could’ve sworn he saw the beginnings of a tear or two. A vacant, hollow expression stole the light from your eyes, and Bucky couldn’t stop himself from worrying.
Your head fell against his shoulder as a deep sigh left your chest. Regardless of the circumstances, an unstoppable warmth bloomed in Bucky’s chest- just as it did every time you touched him. But as much as he loved being your shoulder to cry on, he hated that you needed one at all.
“We can talk about it…if you want. Or we don’t have to- up to you. Do you want to change into something more comfortable? We can watch a movie or something”. 
You nodded against Bucky’s shoulder, knowing you’d feel better after ridding your face of make-up and throwing on a tshirt. But you needed one extra second. You needed to soak in the sensation of your head resting against Bucky’s shoulder, your body just inches from his. Having Bucky so close renewed your soul, and that was exactly what you needed.
“Okay, yeah. Let’s do that”, you pulled your head from Bucky’s shoulder and stood before him, “you can pick what we watch. I’m…I’m just gonna-” Every ounce of your focus dropped to the tricky clasp of the bracelet you’d worn on your date. The end of your sentence came up missing as you locked your eyes on the piece of jewelry that simply refused to budge. 
“Can I?” With your permission, Bucky’s fingers gently twisted at the worn clasp until it gave way, “There you go- you’re free. And you’re sweet, but you’re gonna pick what we watch.”
For the first time that night, you let out a small laugh. “Okay, fine. Careful what you wish for, Barnes, cause I wanna watch the 2002 cinematic masterpiece that is the live action Scooby-Doo”. 
Bucky narrowed his eyes at you, but couldn’t stop a smile from breaking through his tough façade, “Joke’s on you, sweetheart, cause I don’t even know what that is”. He banished you to the bathroom with an order to “go get comfortable” while he promised to pull up the movie. But with you out of the room, a sharp anger boiled in Bucky’s chest. He didn’t know who had done what to make you so upset, but he wanted to right the wrong. He wished he could track down whatever asshole had made you cry and teach him a lesson, Winter Soldier style. 
Something about you had drawn Bucky in immediately, be it your warmth or your unwavering kindness. He loved everything about you, and felt himself growing more and more addicted to you as the days passed. He loved spending time with you, loved hearing your laugh. All he ever wanted to do was make you smile, see you happy. And no matter how badly it hurt him to see you heading out on date after date with random guys, he never said a word.
Bucky wanted you to find happiness, a happiness that he couldn’t provide. He knew who and what he was. He’d always have issues. And even though he trusted you completely, it wasn’t fair to saddle you with his problems for the rest of your life. He didn’t want you spending your years pulling him out of nightmares and walking him through panic attacks. He couldn’t give you a normal life.  
So he resigned himself to the sidelines, a mere spectator of the many failings of your love life. And when things went awry because your Hinge date was too obsessed with The Joker or unironically called himself an “alpha male”, Bucky cheered you up. He always told you to keep your chin up, to not lose faith. He promised you’d find ‘the one’, all the while wishing he could be your one. You’d flash him the smile he loved so much, even as your heart broke for the millionth time. 
It made no sense to Bucky how anyone could treat you as though you were anything less than perfect. He’d never met anyone so compassionate, so undoubtedly good- to the extent that Bucky actually felt his faith in humanity begin to renew. His trust in mankind had fallen tarnished and broken after what Hydra did to him, and rightfully so. But you were simply something else: a smart, hilarious, beautiful reminder that the world wasn’t so bad. 
He knew he loved you. 
He’d known it soon after meeting you- almost alarmingly soon. He admonished himself for falling for you so quickly, but simply couldn’t help it- to know you was to love you. He desperately pined over you day in and day out, his chest aching more each day. But no matter how deep his love, he never strayed from the promise he made to himself. He swore he’d never tell you the truth, would never complicate your life by revealing his true feelings. He tried to put a bit of distance between the two of you to make things easier on his heart, but he found it to be impossible. Being without you simply wasn’t an option, no matter how hard he tried. It seemed like an unfathomable existence Bucky would never survive. 
And he loved being your friend. Being your best friend was the title Bucky took the most pride in. He loved your movie nights, the deep talks you shared, and the profound trust that rested between you. He wanted to be there for you, wanted to make you feel safe and cared for. And if he lived the rest of his life as your best friend and closest confidante, that was enough for him. 
After a quick change of clothes and lazy swipe of a make-up wipe, you were ready for more snacks and a quiet night with Bucky. You found him lounging on your bed, struggling to work your Apple TV. “I almost got it, I swear…” Bucky’s brows furrowed as he concentrated, “don’t tell me, don’t tell me. I can-” And just like that, the movie began playing. 
“You did it!”
“Only took me a year of lessons and handwritten instructions!”
You gave Bucky’s arm a gentle shove and wriggled beneath the covers, inviting him to do the same. The two of you watched the movie in silence, eating peanut butter covered Oreos while Scooby and Shaggy got up to their shenanigans. As the minutes passed, you found yourself slowly migrating in Bucky’s direction. He drew you in. He brought a sense of comfort you could never quite describe, almost like coming home after being away for a very long time. Sometimes, you felt you must’ve known him in a past life. 
It wasn’t until your head rested against his shoulder that you finally noticed just how much you’d shifted. With a big scoot in the opposite direction, you pulled your body from Bucky’s- much to his dismay. Several jokes came and went, and Bucky expected your cheery laugh to fill the room- it was his favorite thing about watching comedies with you. But when you remained silent, worry settled in Bucky’s stomach. 
“Hey…you alright?” Bucky let a gentle hand rest on your forearm, his thumb making a light sweeping motion against your skin. A distinct sniffle preceded your unconvincing “I’m fine”, and it was enough to make Bucky launch into action. In one swift move, Bucky paused the movie, turned on the lamp by the bed, and maneuvered himself in front of you. He took in your tear-stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes, his heart breaking instantly. 
“You’re not fine, sweets. Talk to me, what’s going on?” Anxiety forced Bucky’s throat almost completely shut, “Did something happen tonight?”
A few shaky breaths rattled your chest as your head fell into your hands. It wasn’t often that you hid things from Bucky, but looking him in the eye was far too embarrassing, too vulnerable. Bucky was always open and honest with you, and allowed you to dig deep into his twisted, horrifying past. It didn’t seem fair to keep something from him, especially something so trivial. But this was pathetic. 
“I’m just…” you sniffled and gave your head a small shake, “Um, nevermind. This is stupid- there are bigger problems in the world. I mean, you were literally a prisoner of war for seventy years. I’m sorry, I-”
“Don’t be sorry. You can cry, doll”, Bucky ran a hand over the length of your upper arm, “Get it all out.”
It took a long moment for you to find your words, and another moment to gather the courage to actually let them out. With a deep sigh, you pushed the words out of your mouth, “I’m worried that- I don’t think anyone will ever love me…”
Bucky’s mouth fell open. 
“And I can’t…” you finally let your eyes drift upward to meet Bucky’s, “I can’t keep doing this. I go on these dates and get my hopes up, thinking maybe I’ll find someone. But they’re always terrible. And it’s just- it seems impossible. It seems impossible that I’ll ever find someone”. 
Bewilderment left Bucky silent and still. Thousands of thoughts crowded his mind all at once, each one vying for his attention. He cautiously reached for your hand and held it in his, his thumb sweeping gently across your knuckles. He wanted to comfort you, to reassure you,
but didn’t know what to say- didn’t know what he could say without completely spilling his guts. It seemed that if he opened his mouth, he’d be confessing his love for you before he knew it. 
“It has to be me, right? It has to be something I did- or didn’t do. Something I said. What is it about me? What am I doing wrong?”
“It’s not you, doll. You didn’t do anything-”
Your sad laugh tried and failed to hide your dejection, “How do you know?”
“I just do.”
“But there’s a common denominator- I’m the common denominator. Like, there’s a reason things get fucked up with guy after guy…” The heartbreak in your voice melted into a pool of frustration and self-hatred that threatened to drown you, “There has to be something that I’m doing wrong. If I was unlovable, would you tell me?” 
Bucky placed a gentle hand on your cheek, “Sweetheart, it’s-”
“I know you’re trying to make me feel better and I appreciate it, but I need to know what my problem is- I need to fix it. I need someone to be honest with me”. A deep sigh left your chest deflated and your shoulders slumped, “…I don’t want to spend my life alone.”
Bucky hated seeing you so down, so utterly hopeless. 
“It feels like…” your voice wavered ever so slightly, “It feels like I’m somehow too much, and  not enough. At the same time.”
Bucky swore he could actually hear his heart shatter in his chest. You weren’t too much, and he would’ve never described you as “not enough”. He wished you could see yourself the way he saw you, could love yourself the way he did. He opened his mouth to disagree with you, but found himself struggling for words. 
“Doll, I don’t- I think you…” Thankfully, you cut him off.
“My parents keep telling me that I’ll never find the ‘perfect’ person, that I’ll never have a ‘perfect’ relationship…” You nudged your cheek against your shoulder, wiping your stray tears on the sleeve of your tshirt, “But I’m not looking for ‘perfect’. I’m just- jesus christ- I’m just looking for someone to be nice to me, someone who treats me like-”
If you hadn’t stopped yourself, you would’ve told Bucky you wanted someone who treated you the way he did. No one had ever made you feel so safe, so genuinely happy. Your days began with thoughts of Bucky, and ended the exact same way. But telling him was too big a risk.
Getting Bucky comfortable with being such close friends had come with its struggles. He’d been guarded for so long, so accustomed to people hurting him that allowing someone in was a terrifying challenge. There was no way he was ready for anything even resembling a romantic relationship. He’d come so far and made so much progress, but a sudden admission of feelings threatened to sabotage everything you’d built with him.
You feared a romantic confession would be too much for him, maybe even scare him off. And the last thing you wanted to do was push him away. Having Bucky near was like having a personal summer sun all year round, even in the dead of the coldest winter. Something about him drew you in, be it his quiet kindness or shy smile. And after taking things slow and earning his trust, he’d given you a glimpse into his world.
He allowed you into his surprisingly big heart, no matter how scarred or tattered it was. And you’d stayed there ever since, helping him wade through the traumas of his past. You wanted to be that for him- you wanted to be his safe harbor. How someone so tortured could be so compassionate seemed impossible to you, but he proved you wrong every day. 
Seeing him smile filled you with an unmistakable joy. He’d spent so many years suffering, hurting- you wanted to fill his days with levity and kindness. And when he laughed, your heart swelled so big that you feared it would burst. You found him surprisingly funny for someone who’d been tortured and cryogenically frozen for seventy years. But Bucky was full of surprises. 
He was always there for you, whether you got hurt during a mission or needed a pep talk after a shitty date. Bucky didn’t care what time it was- if you needed him, he was there. And you did the same for him, helping him through night terrors and panic attacks without a second thought. He told you time and time again that you didn’t have to be there for the screaming and hyperventilating, but you assured him that you wanted to.
You wanted to be his support system, to guide him out of the dark when it threatened to swallow him whole. It took him some time to grow comfortable with asking for help, but after a while, he didn’t even have to ask- you just knew. You knew Bucky so intimately, understood the dark recesses of his tormented mind. And when the monsters came calling, you were there. Every time.
It took you far too long to admit to yourself that you did, indeed, love James Buchanan Barnes. The truth lay deep down in your soul, covered up by false assurances that you were “just friends”. But when it was just the two of you messing around in the kitchen or listening to music in your room, time seemed to stop. It was just you and Bucky, existing all alone on a planet you shared, a planet made just for you two. But acknowledging your love for him meant the possible destruction of your friendship, and that simply wasn’t an option. Being without Bucky was the worst form of torture you could imagine. 
So you went on date after date with guys who were nowhere near as sweet or thoughtful as Bucky, hoping for something to spark. But each date made only your feelings for your best friend more glaringly obvious, to the point that it almost hurt. It hurt knowing that you loved someone you’d never have. The ache in your chest grew each day, threatening to rip you in two from the inside out. You imagined your skin and bones shredding into pieces as you fell apart, your body destroyed by unrequited love. Part of you wished you’d meet someone who would sweep you off your feet and make you forget every ounce of love you held for Bucky, but it burned too brightly to ever be snuffed out. 
Bucky’s heart stopped as a renewed sense of hope flickered in his chest, “someone who treats you like…what?”
The question almost made you choke on your own saliva, “Oh, just- someone who treats me like…like my dad treats my mom. They’re still going strong after 33 years, and god, he loves her. He loves her so much; they’re perfect together. My sister and her husband, too. He’d do anything for her, he looks at her like she hung the moon.” Another sad laugh bubbled up from your chest, “I can’t even get a guy to walk me to my car after dinner”. 
Something inside of Bucky raged against the promise he’d made to himself. It clawed and scratched at the wall Bucky put in place to hide his true feelings, and suddenly, the wall crumbled. It fell to pieces, sending everything Bucky had ever wanted to say spilling forward. 
“You deserve so much better. You deserve to be safe and taken care of and loved. I can’t- I hate seeing you like this. I hate that you don’t see how incredible you are, how lucky anyone would be to have you”. Bucky’s words continued to fall from his lips without pause, without edits. “And it hurts to see you in so much pain. I want to take it from you, I want to fix this whole thing. And I feel like it’s kind of my fault, partly because I keep telling you to keep your chin up and go on these dates. And partly because I’m- I love you. And I haven’t told you…but I do. I love you.”
The silence that followed threatened to drive Bucky mad. He heard every beat of your racing heart, every click of your nails as you anxiously fidgeted. The disbelief left you frozen, his words dancing through your mind on an endless loop. And without fail, every repeat of his admission of love set you ablaze. An unmistakable warmth rose in your chest and spread throughout your body, forcing tears from your eyes without you even noticing. 
“Um, I’m- what?” You stared at Bucky, utterly frozen. Surely, you were dreaming. Your psyche played this cruel joke on you often, concocting the image of Bucky professing his love for you while you slept. But basking in the moment never lasted long, and you awoke each time with a renewed sense of disappointment and dread.
But there was no waking up this time.
A deep breath filled Bucky’s lungs, steeling his frayed nerves. The wavering previously present in his voice was suddenly nowhere to be found, and a calm confidence settled over his entire being. 
“I’m in love with you- I’ve loved you for a long time.” 
Time seemed to stop as Bucky’s words set in. It was almost as if you were lost, completely adrift in a sea made of overwhelming shock. It wasn’t until he reached out and stopped your anxious cuticle-picking that you realized just how real this all was. 
“I didn’t tell you- I didn’t think it was a good idea, because I know there’s things I can’t give you- no matter how hard I try”, a storm of panic descended on Bucky, forcing him up from his spot on your bed. He paced in an irregular pattern near the foot of the bed, never quite making eye contact with you. When he got nervous like this, the anxious energy carried him deep into dark, dangerous rabbit holes. He needed something to do; he’d toy with his dog tags and grasp at his hair- anything to ground him. But nothing grounded him quite like you. 
Bucky suddenly found your hand resting in his, intertwining with his fingers and pulling him back to the present. The tightening in his chest released almost instantly, and his lungs filled with a calming breath. He sometimes couldn’t believe the effect you had on him. Your touch, your mere presence cloaked him in a sense of safety he’d never known. It was quiet, but Bucky muttered a soft “thank you”. 
“What, um…” you cleared your throat, “what makes you think you can’t give me the things I want?”
A deep huff pushed itself out of Bucky’s chest- he was truly tormented. You could tell how long he’d been agonizing over this, considering and reconsidering any and all possible outcomes- before ultimately deciding to keep his feelings a secret.
“I’m always going to be…this. You know? I can’t be fixed. I’m not a blank canvas that can be painted over. I can’t just start from scratch or whatever, because even though I don’t quite remember everything I did, I still did those things. I know it was me. I can read the files and watch the documentaries and-”
“Buck, I told you no more documentaries!”
Bucky couldn’t help but laugh. You always tried to protect him, to keep him safe from anything that might cause him even the tiniest bit of discomfort or distress. And when you’d discovered him enraptured by an endless amount of brutal Winter Soldier documentaries, you made him pinky promise to stop watching. And he kept that promise.
“I haven’t- not since I promised you”, Bucky threw a wink your way. “But I just- even though I’d love to just put it all behind me and try to live my life as this new and improved version of myself, I can’t. No amount of pardons or therapy is going to change that. So I didn’t want to tell you how I felt. I didn’t want you to get it in your head that, one day, I’ll be something else- something better. I didn’t want you to fall in love with potential, because there isn’t any.” 
The heartbreak, the utter devastation written all over Bucky’s face pulled fresh tears from your eyes. You couldn’t believe how little he thought of himself, how he could see himself in such a negative light. All you wanted was for him to love himself the way you loved him, to accept himself for everything he’d been before and everything he was now. 
Bucky expected you to ask him to leave after pulling such a stunt. He’d dropped a bomb on you, and knew in his heart it wasn’t fair. After what you’d gone through just an hour before, he knew this wasn’t the time to be throwing his feelings in your face. 
“Shit…” Bucky’s hand tightened around yours, “I’m so- this was really selfish of me. I shouldn’t have dropped this in your lap, I know you had a rough night.” He tried to take a step away, to put some space between the two of you as the weight of his actions settled on his shoulders.  But your grasp on his hand remained firm. 
“Don’t…” With teary eyes, you stared up at Bucky. In all the time you’d spent with him, he’d never looked this scared. Life-threatening missions and gut-wrenching bouts of PTSD were nothing compared to the thought of losing you. A tiny shaking left his hand rattling in yours, and the ragged, shallow breaths that erratically filled his chest spelled mounting fear. 
“You don’t have to say anything…” Bucky gave your hand a squeeze. It was something he did on instinct now that you’d spent so many panic attacks by his side. When things grew to be too much for him, when he needed you most, he squeezed your hand. And this moment was no different. 
“I just wanted you to know that someone loves you- you’re not unlovable.  And I promise there’s a hundred guys better than me who will fall for you”, he threw one of his shy smiles your way, “you just gotta find one”.
With a gentle tug, you brought Bucky’s body closer to yours. It wasn’t uncommon for the two of you to be so close- you’d shared a bed on multiple occasions, and even ended up tangled in each other’s arms come morning. But this was different.
A strangled sound fought its way out of your throat, the ugly combination of tears and anxiety. And when you finally regained your ability to speak, you simply had to ask. 
“You love me?”
Bucky gave only a small, bashful nod. 
Before Bucky knew what hit him, your arms were wound tightly around his neck, your head nuzzling against his chest. On instinct, his arms snaked around your waist, pulling you ever tighter. The moment was tender and peaceful, and Bucky wished to live in it forever- until a sinking feeling settled in his stomach. He feared that maybe this was a goodbye hug. Maybe you were going to pull away after another moment or two and tell him that you couldn’t be his friend anymore. Maybe this was you mourning the friendship, maybe this was a sendoff.
But his hope bloomed anew as you stared up at him, your chin resting against his sternum. Tears flooded from the corners of your eyes and dripped into your hair, but you didn’t even notice. Nothing else existed in that moment; it was just you and Bucky.
“I can’t- you have no idea how badly I’ve wanted to hear that…” A smile fought its way through the tears, “I have loved you for such a long, long time. I’ve wanted you- I’ve needed to be yours and to make you mine.” A burning in your chest forced you to take pause. Every crumb of love you’d ever felt for Bucky exploded all at once, leaving you breathless. 
“I love all of you, Buck. I don’t love your ‘potential’ or the person you might be one day. I don’t want any other version of you. I just didn’t…” You searched for your next words carefully, choosing them with the utmost care. “I didn’t think you’d want…this. Us. I thought maybe you were too overwhelmed by everything- the PTSD and the amends and the flag smashers. It’s a lot to handle. I thought maybe you weren’t ready for something like this, and I didn’t want to add any pressure. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
Bucky’s forehead gently found its resting place against yours as his crystalline eyes filled with tears, “you sure, doll?” He needed a second confirmation, a firm reassurance that you did, indeed, love him.
“I’m sure,” you pushed up onto your tiptoes and let your lips meet Bucky’s in a long overdue kiss. The deep, desperate need Bucky held for you took over completely as his hands made their way to your face. He gently cradled your cheeks and deepened the kiss, leaving you completely and utterly breathless. Nothing had ever felt more right, more meant to be.
And when the two of you finally came up for air, all you could do was stare at each other. If there’d been a second blip in that moment and half the population disintegrated, neither of you would’ve noticed. There was so much time to make up, so many lost kisses.
Bucky couldn’t say he was surprised that you’d chosen to conceal your feelings. You thought you were doing what was best for him, even if it made you miserable. And he’d done the same.  It was easy to lament the time wasted in agony as the two of you kept your feelings to yourselves, but neither one of you would ever change the past. Those moments spent together as “just friends” felt like home, a home you and Bucky built together.
———————————
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hopelesswritergall · 1 year
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Jacaerys finding out about you and Daemon
Alright I’ve decided that I’m gonna make a series of headcanons and just pieces of work about you and the boys. If you guys want me to add more people let me know! If they are female like Rhaenyra I do need a new title. The title for now is :
Y/N and the boys
So this one will be Jacaerys finding out about you and his stepdad (Daemon). This is a continuation of my previous headcanons
People I think who might like this: @annikin-im-panicin @daenerysapologist @valeskafics @harrenhalhottie @i-killed-ramsey @howyouloveyourdragon
Let me know if you want to be tagged for something!
Also reblogs, comments and asks are very much appreciated! We’re on the road to 200 followers baby!
Alright so Jace saw a “hallucination” about you and Daemon
Sweet boy did not suspect anything. It’s normal for a dad to always sit next to his best friend and see his hand disappear under the table, followed by you shifting on your chair. That’s completely normal right?
You may or may not have been caught by Jace when you guys were fucking, on the couch, where he wanted to watch How To Train Your Dragon. He was fully prepared for his movie marathon, chips and cola in his hands and he was ready to go watch some movies.
Yeah that scene changed pretty quickly.
As he entered the room he could already hear moaning and he thought that someone just left the porn channel on. Although he found the thought of that gross, he didn’t need to know what everyone watched. He would’ve preferred that to seeing this. His best-friend beneath his stepdad.
His grip on the cola and chips loosened and they fell to the ground, alarming you guys of his presence. Your head whipped to the place of the side to find Jace standing there in absolute horror. Jace left the room, not wanting to see it.
“I thought you said his trip wouldn’t end for another 2 days! So what the fuck is he doing here?!” You demanded an explanation while gathering your underwear and pants. “I could’ve sworn that it wouldn’t have ended by now!”
You knew where to find Jace, whenever he would get upset he would go to the swing in his backyard. You two have spent so much time there together, it’s unreal.
And indeed he was there just very lightly swinging
You approached him and sat on the other swing. “Hey.” You said while just punching yourself in your head. ‘Hey,’ Seriously Y/N that was all you could think about? Not: Hey, sorry for what you saw.
“How long?I deserve to know.” He did have a point, that was the least that you owed him. “2 years. You know the birthday nobody showed up for? Yeah since then. I would’ve told you sooner but I-I just didn’t want to lose my best-friend. Just because of who I happen to be attracted to.” You rambled, trying to explain why it happened and shit.
“Are you like only fucking him for money?” “No, I wouldn’t dare to do that. I love him Jace. Listen as weird as it may sound Rhaenyra also knows about it and approves. I mean she has Harwin and Cole.”
“Good, cause if you fucked him for money I would strangle you.” He chuckled a bit, before adding “Are you happy with him? Because I’m happy if you are.”
“He makes me very happy Jace.” You tell him while recounting all the memories of you and Daemon.
“I’ll forgive you on three conditions. One: We get a new couch, I can’t look at it without thinking about you guys having sex. Two: You do not ever have sex while I’m in the house. Three: You are going to watch How To Train Your Dragon with me. Deal?”
“Deal! You will get a new couch I promise! A very fancy one.”
Let’s just say that promise two would be broken a few times unknowingly……
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frankcastlescumslut · 2 years
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Show Me How You Sin
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pairing: Priest!Matt x AFAB!Virgin!Reader
words: 3.5k
warnings: 18+ MDNI!!! umm haha everything? blasphemy, heavy desecration of religion, virgin reader, oral (f receiving), guided masturbation, soft!dom/sub dynamics, overstimulation, reader is in 20’s
synopsis: Father Matthew leads you through your confession and first orgasm
A/N: haha hey! don’t read this is sacrilegious themes offend you!
REBLOGS/COMMENTS/FEEDBACK/LIKES ARE VERY MUCH WELCOMED HEHE
DO NOT REPOST, STEAL, OR TRANSLATE MY WORK. YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION. I’LL SMITE YOU.
he has to know how good he looks, right?
honey, he’s blind.
your mother gives you a quick side eye partnered with a smirk as you mumble to each other from the pew, relishing in the sight in front of you.
black garments cling to Father Murdock’s body in just the right way as he preaches about something you’ve probably heard many times before. your focus is purely on the way his hands rest against the wooden pulpit, veins visible under the dim light, and you can’t help the way your thoughts wander.
his fingers tap into the wood as he emphasizes some point, …your Heavenly Father will also forgive you, practically teasing you to imagine the way they would feel against the inside of your thigh, pressing into the soft flesh as your dress rides up with his touch.
the vasculature of his hands becomes more prominent as he grips onto the pulpit, and you have to swallow away the question of what his hands would look like wrapped around your throat while your lips release sweet moans.
your cheeks flush as you watch the way his tongue darts from the corner of his mouth and wets his lip, the voice catching in your throat as you swear you saw him smirk. you could’ve sworn he caught you; the way you crossed your legs and clenched your thighs together to relieve some of the ache from your core, the way your bottom lip was lodged between your teeth to stifle any moan that threatened to slip, the way your own fingers grabbed onto your sides as you crossed your arms around your body to hold yourself together.
don’t be ridiculous, he’s blind.
a sea of bodies rises from the pews, indicating the end of service. you deflate like a balloon, comfortable disappearing into the crowd and looking forward to relieving your… stress… in the comfort of your own bedroom.
you know it’s wrong, he’s a priest! I have hid thy promise in my heart, that I might not sin against thee. he’s MY priest… but it feels so good to reach that sweet spot when you rub your clothed cunt against the pillow in just the right way, unknowing of what happens after the buildup, wishing it was some part of the man who lead your prayers to help you discover what comes next.
your cheeks burn from embarrassment as you stand, only to find remnants of your arousal and sweat on the pew below.
“Hi.” The voice catches you off guard, causing you to trip over the aisle carpet.
“Careful, there.” His smile is charming as two large hands catch your falling body, the touch lingering on your waist for a second too long.
“S-sorry, Father.” It’s barely a whisper, but he catches your apology, clearly noting the way your heartbeat thunders in your chest.
He can tell you’re blushing by the way your cheeks and ears grow warmer, your skin already slightly damp from the debauchery he had very much noticed before.
His ear turns towards your parents ever so slightly, noticing the quiet laugh your mother is trying to hush- she must be embarrassed or- nervous?
“No need to apologize. I just wanted to see how you all were doing? It’s rare I get a moment to talk to everyone around here!” His smile is radiant as he addresses your family, your breath faltering as he moves his hand to the small of your back.
“Good! We’re all great! Home from college from now,” your mother winks at you, “just enjoying all the ways the Lord has been blessing us!” She’s overly excited as she relishes in the priest’s attention.
“Amen to that.”
Electricity flows from Father Matthew’s fingertips as he lightly grazes the seam of your dress. Your vision seems to blur at the foreign touch, only to be spewed on by the throbbing ache from between your thighs. The conversation is incoherent, your only train of thought telling your body to relax. breathe in, breathe out.
“I’m glad to hear it, it was nice speaking with you!” You take his words as your cue to leave but are halted as your parents take a few steps away.
“Actually,” the way he says your name nearly stops your heart entirely. “I was wondering if you’d be interested in confession?” His lip is upturned in a seasoned smile, one you had recognized before.
“I- um,”
“There’s no pressure, of course. I could just always use the extra practice. Not many people come around anymore, if you can believe that!” You swear you could see the crinkles form around his eye through the red glasses, and you sigh as his hand finally leaves your back.
“Sure. I’m, uh, definitely guilty of that.” As quickly as you relaxed at the absence of his touch, another part of you craved it.
He senses your hesitation, his attuned ears catching the way you crane your neck to scout your parents, only to hide a smile as he can hear your hands flap, shooing away your parents.
“You first,” he motions towards the confessional, vacant gaze trained towards your figure, disappearing into the confines of secrecy.
The wooden bench chills the backside of your thighs as you sit. The silhouette of your priest altered through the grated partition causes your heartbeat to quicken, and you’re suddenly on trial for your sins.
“Bless me, Father Murdock, for I have sinned…” He catches the shakiness in your voice, and the mention of his name causes him to shift his legs in his private section.
“It’s been…” You have to think of how long you had been away at college to remember the last time you’d repeated the phrase. “Four months since my last confession.”
“I’m glad you’re here now.”
“Thank you, Father Murdock-”
“Matthew. You can call me Matthew, if you’d like.” Your cheeks flush at the invitation and he notices, of course he does. Father Matthew… If only he knew how many times that name left your lips in the privacy of your bedroom.
“I, um… I have been struggling lately, Father Matthew.” The weighted confession leaves your mouth causing the crotch of his pants to grow tighter in unholy temptation.
“I have these feelings,” you clear your throat.
“Feelings?”
“Yes. Feelings that sometimes, well,” You’re unsure of how much you’re willing to tell. Granted, the guilt had been eating you alive, but a part of you enjoyed it- enjoyed it the way you enjoyed the feel of him pressing into your back.
“Sometimes they actually turn physical and…” he can tell you’re nervous by the way your cheeks warm and you cross your legs, clenching your thighs together in the process.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed or nervous, God honors your honesty, and so do I.” His voice is calm, almost too calm, and eases you into your repentance.
“When do these feelings typically happen?“ he already knew the answer; it was as if he was baiting you, perhaps he was.
He could sense the way you purposefully rubbed your clothed core against the pews while the congregation stood- the hymns hiding the breathy moans that left your lips when you barely rocked forward. He felt the way your lips threatened to wrap around his finger when he placed the bread on your tongue, his attuned ears catching the shakiness of your prayer. He could smell your arousal through the wooden partition as you contemplated your answer.
“They happen often, Father. And I don’t understand them. I’m ashamed, I think.”
“Shame is a heavy burden, but the burden Christ gives us is-“
“Light.” you speak at the same time.
“Exactly. Good girl” Matt catches the breath that becomes lodged in your throat, your pulse beating rapidly as you brush the hair from your face, exposing the delicate skin of your neck. He wants nothing more than to press his lips to the spot behind your ear, helping you to create pretty sounds.
“Tell me, what makes you ashamed of these feelings?” You’re caught off guard at his sultry tone.
“They happen when I do unholy things” Your confession falls on sensitive ears.
“Can you be more specific?”
“Unholy things like…” You don’t even realize your eyes are closed as your fingers caress your thighs, your lower lip hiding a moan as your fingertips brush the hem of your cotton panties. What are you doing?
“Like what you’re doing right now?” Matt noticed the way your concentration had adjusted, and he could sense the pad of your fingertips rub against the thicker seam- your breath falters and your body tenses as you’re caught. His cock throbs in the confinement of his pants.
“None of us are without sin. But I am interested in something.” His voice is raspy.
“Why don’t you show me how you sin?” you feel faint but gasp audibly at his proposal, your core throbbing at the thought.
“Father… I don’t… I”
“Your heavenly father has already forgiven you. May I?” He leans his head closer to the partition, eager to sense your response. You whimper at the thought of pleasuring yourself, fully confessing and at the mercy of the priest, and your fingers brush against your warm cunt, causing you to whisper a moan as you graze the bundle of nerves.
“That’s it, so obedient.” he clears his throat. “Do that again for me.”
The pad of your fingertips press into your clit and your eyes flutter shut.
“Good girl,” He notes the way you moan at the praise. “Tell me, how do you feel?”
“I feel, I feel dirty.” You do. You really, really do. But you also feel really, really good.
“Dirty is an interesting word to use… tell me where your hands are.”
“They’re on my thighs, Father.” He waits for a moment as he listens for the sound of your soft skin being kneaded, but he finds something else entirely.
“Angel, lying defeats the purpose of confession. Where are your hands?” It’s condescending and almost threatening, and you realize where you’re sitting and who you’re talking to.
It’s wrong. You know it’s wrong. He knows it’s wrong. But neither of you are willing to stop.
“They’re on my… my…”
“Your pussy?” He growls as he finally palms his hard length while imagining your innocent body responding to his games.
“Yes.” You’re fully clothed but feel naked- exposed.
“Good girl. There’s no shame in pleasure. After all, God created it. Are your thighs spread open?” He knew the answer. He could practically taste the way you coated the booth.
“Yes.”
“I want to ask you something, is that alright?“
“Yes.”
“Have you ever tasted yourself before?” Your stomach lurches at the thought.
“No.”
“Such a shame.” You swear you hear him tsk in disapproval. “Would you like to?”
“Y-yes.”
The curtain of your booth is pulled away quickly, equally catching you off guard. You hadn’t even heard him remove himself from his side, and you certainly weren’t expecting to see the flushed face of your priest as your legs were spread wide open for anyone to see. Truthfully, though, you didn’t care if anyone saw. You were unable to form any other thought, fully surrendering to the desires of your flesh, whatever that meant.
It’s silent for a moment as he stands in front of you, his head turning to perceive your already wrecked state. Heavy breaths fill the small space as anticipation grows. Your back sinks against the hardwood, causing your thighs to spread even further, your clothed pussy peeking out from under your dress in silent invitation. Matt accepts gladly, wishing he could watch the way your eyes grew in size as he lowered himself in front of you.
His hands, the ones you had fantasized about so many times before, shakily greet your calves, the fingers gently teasing against the skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He smirks at the way you moan at the minimal touch, only then wondering how much you had been denying yourself.
“Angel,” his lips press into the inside of your knee. “Have you sinned like this before? With another person?”
You shake your head in response, and Matt can tell the answer by the way your arousal seeps from your panties, but you quickly correct yourself.
“N-no Father Matthew.”
“Such a good girl.” He places another kiss on the opposite knee.
“Oh, Christ!” You exhale as his hands travel further towards your core, his fingers dancing against your thighs, kisses littering wherever he touches. He smiles at your reactions.
Teeth lightly nip at the delicate flesh, and he inhales deeply as his nose practically nudges against where you crave him the most. He sighs into you, his warm breath against your sobbing pussy causing you to moan.
“So responsive,” his thumb traces the inside seam of your white cotton underwear, threatening to please you. “May I?” He faces you, desperately trying to find your eyes.
“Yes.” You whisper, giving permission to something you’re not even sure he’s asking.
The heel of your foot, the hardness of a pew, the softness of a pillow, the texture of a stuffed animal was nothing compared to the way Matt’s thumb caressed your throbbing clit through your panties. You jolted, nearly hitting your head, at the unfamiliar sensation.
“Oh!” His fingers grabbed onto the plump flesh of your thighs just as they held onto the pew, his thumb rubbing gentle circles into your bundle of nerves.
“F-father,” You call for him, failing to catch the amusement plastered on his face.
“Hm? How does this feel, sweetheart? You can’t form words to express how you were feeling.
“Good. S-so good. Thank you.” He moans at your gratitude, his member throbbing consequently. His fingers hook into the elastic, patience leaving his body as he desperately needs to taste you.
“Angel, let me make you feel good.” He pleads with a kiss to your panty-cladded cunt. An open mouth moan against your core causes you to reach for him as he denies himself the pleasure of lapping up your taste. “Please, will you let me make you feel good?”
You aren’t sure how it can feel much better than this, but you oblige with ease.
“Please, Father Matthew. Please make me feel good.”
Your underwear fall to your ankles with haste, the air against your wet pussy causing you to shiver. Matt shivers as your arousal floods the tiny space, taunting him to devour you.
“Sweetheart, you tell me if you’d like me to stop, okay?” His fingers find your hand and wrap around your wrist as you give your silent consent.
His warm breath greets you first as you sharply inhale, this will be fun, and he teases you with the flat of his tongue pressing against the entirety of your pussy.
“H-help.” Had he heard you correctly?
“Help? Is everything okay? Would you like me to stop?” His brows furrowed in concern and he loosened his grip.
“No!” You practically shout, the echo hurting his ear slightly. “No! Please. I just… I’ve never felt this and I…” You’re embarrassed to admit you aren’t sure how to feel.
“Relax, angel. I promise I’m going to take care of you, ” He places a small kiss on your thighs. “In your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore,” he quotes scripture before placing his lips to your clit. You relax into the feeling, unsure of whether it was the familiarity of the words or the satiation of your flesh.
The tip of his tongue runs through your wet folds, sucking lightly to taste every drop, before flicking and circling against your swollen clit. Your moans cause his cock to throb against his thigh as he relishes in your sweetness.
“Fuck,” The profanities surprise you as they’re murmured from below. “Taste so fuckin’ delicious, sweetheart.” Your cheeks flush at the compliment.
“So fuckin’ sweet, just like an angel. My little angel,” His lips wrap around your sensitive bundle of nerves and he sucks lightly, the sound of spit audible to anyone who could pass by. He’s surprised by the way you respond and throw your hands against his head before quickly pulling back in regret.
“It’s okay,” he coos from below. “You can touch me.” You burn with temptation at his invitation and sink back into the wooden frame at an awkward angle, your fingers gently caressing the side of his head.
“Oh, Father.” You attempt to stifle your moan by catching part of your dress in your mouth, but he stops you before it passes your lips.
“Don’t be shy, kitten.” An outreached hand reaches to cup your face, his heart softening at the way you nuzzle into his touch. “There’s nothing wrong with seeking pleasure. Do you need me to help you?” you nod your head against his palm and he grabs your thighs, pulling you closer against him
“There you go, such a good girl. Just like that.” Your head falls back as he laps up your arousal from your leaking hole and places kitten licks against your clit, your moans falling freely.
“God,” you whimper, “that feels so good. I-I like that.”
He continues his ministrations, applying a steady pressure to your sensitive clit as your fingers grip into his hair and your hips lightly rut into him. He growls against your movements, and a wet spot grows visible against his trousers.
“That's it princess,” He moans into you. “Show me what you like. Show me how you like it.” you adjust your hips and lightly grind against his tongue. His grip onto you tightens, surely leaving bruises in return, as he encourages you to grow confident in your motions.
“Please please please” unsure of what you’re asking for as your thrusts grow quicker and more erratic. Matt mumbles a prayer and hums against your clit, causing you to force his face to press into you even more.
“Do that again, please.” you beg for more of the new sensations, his hums vibrating against your most sensitive area. He obliges with haste, silently praying and eager for a taste of your release.
An unfamiliar sensation bubbles within as your priest devours your pleasure. If the idea of the holiest man you knew moaning against your virgin cunt wasn’t enough to bring you to an orgasm, the sounds of your slick and his drool mixing and coating your clit was enough to do so.
“Father, what’s happening?” Your eyes attempt to open, but your lashes flutter at the pleasure. Your chest heaves as Matt brings you to the edge of your first orgasm.
“Just as the Father has washed you from iniquity, let this feeling wash over you, angel.” You’re sure you’ve reached Heaven. Your entire body tenses as you cling onto Matt, holding him against your clit as your orgasm washes over you in waves.
“Oh fuck! Oh Christ!” The muscles in your thighs tremble as they involuntarily close around the priest’s head; he moans as the sweetness of your taste and smell floods his senses. Your body shakes with pleasure and your abs contract with each wash of euphoria.
Your arousal drips from you like honey from a honeycomb, and Matt collects it with the tip of his tongue and spreads it over your clit before sucking gently, causing you to jolt from overstimulation.
“Ouch!” You flinch, “It hurts, Father.”
“If we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.” He recites the verse into your sopping cunt with a last lick, savoring your first sin. You’re surprised as he reaches for your face and brings you forward, your lips pressing into one another with a gentle kiss.
You moan into him, embarrassed that you’re enjoying the simple intimacy and the taste of you. He returns the pleasantry, his tongue tracing your swollen bottom lip before breathing into you a final time; his heart mirrors you at the slight ache.
His lips trail kisses from your face to your neck, stopping at your core while his fingers dip between your folds for good measure, before disappearing behind his lips. He continues his trail of kisses down the length of your legs before pulling your panties in their proper position.
Your legs groan as you finally stand at your full height and marvel at the sight below you. The priest's robes had been abandoned long ago, and he looked oddly human as he knelt below you. Your hand reaches towards him, reaching to hold his face, and he leans into your tender touch. He places an intimate kiss on your palm before standing, awkwardly adjusting the erection in his pants.
“I, um, I can-” He smiles at your offer.
“No, you don’t have to. It’s okay, angel. You did enough today.” You blush at his words, wishing you could run from the impending separation.
You’re surprised as he places a kiss to your forehead before running his hands against your figure, straightening the hem of your dress with precision and a kind smile, the sheen of your arousal still evident on his lip. You return the favor by gingerly adjusting the red tinted glasses and brushing a piece of his hair from his forehead. Your thumb rubs against his lips before disappearing into your mouth.
“Will I see you next Sunday?” He breaks the tender moment.
“Yes, Father.”
“Good girl.”
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Text
Lavender Haze - Henry Cavill - (Grand Suite part five)
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Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC
Warnings: Throughout this miniseries there will be 18+ content so minors DNI!
Word count: approx. 2,1k
A/N: Hi there lovelies and welcome to my new followers! Thank you all for the nice comments and reblogs. 🤗 So here is part five of Grand Suite. I suggest you read the other chapters before reading this. You can find the other chapters right here -> Masterlist Grand Suite🔥 I hope you enjoy!
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After your hot, intimate shower session and the primal pounding against the hotel door, Henry had been very gentle while cleaning you up and wrapped you in the soft and fluffy bathrobe. 
Your head was still buzzing and you hummed content when you laid down. Feeling like the bed pulled you in a soft and comfortable embrace, almost swallowing you whole. Looking out of the floor-to-ceiling windows you watched how the sun had set, causing the sky to burst out in a palette of blushy pink, golden orange and a mix of violet and lilac. Gods, the sight of it was stunning.
Your eyes glided from the marvelous view outside to the detached bathtub which was placed a few feet from the bed. Oh how that bath looked amazing. You could easily picture yourself bathing in it. Maybe with some scented candles while reading a nice book, a comforting lo-fi playlist on in the background while the warm water and bubbles caressed your body. Or even better, laying in the bath against Henry’s chest while he would read to you with his deep voice and tracing invisible patterns on your skin. The corner of your lip curled up at the memory of feeling his chest against your back.
“A penny for your thoughts.” Henry’s deep voice made you snap out of your daydream and you couldn’t help your chest from rising when you took in a deep breath, eyes glued to him. 
Would you ever get used to him? Every time you looked at him it was like an electric shock jolted through your body. 
He was also dressed in the white robe but he had loosely wrapped the belt around his waist, exposing his well muscled pecs. And then that forehead curl.. that cuntpuddling cursing curl was adorning his face again and you could’ve sworn that the electric shock shot straight to your lower stomach. 
You swallowed as you answered him. “I actually was just admiring the stunning sky and then fantasized about that very inviting bathtub.”
He followed your gaze and nodded. “That bath is very inviting indeed but I have to admit that I haven’t used it yet.”
Your brows shot up in surprise, “you haven’t? That’s a shame.” 
He chuckled and laid down on the bed next to you. Moving over onto your side you popped your head on your hand and asked. “How long have you been here? And do you own this place?”
He mirrored your position and answered. “I am here because we’re wrapping up season three of The Witcher and working out the press tour schedule. And no, I do not own this place. My management arranged this ridiculously big place but apparently it was this or a one-bed bedroom and not to be posh but I prefer this.”
You nodded eagerly. “I can’t wait for season three! What are you exactly doing now wrapping up? When will the trailer be out? And are you planning on filming season four?”
“Well, we’re recording some voice-overs for the scenes where the sound is a bit unclear but furthermore it’s all pretty much finished. I don’t have the exact date for when the trailer will be released but it will be soon and about season four, I’m afraid I can’t say anything about it.”
“Mmm,” you pursed your lips. “Can I somehow persuade you?” 
You let your finger glide over the exposed skin of his chest and looked up at him from underneath your lashes. He grinned and licked his lips.
“I’m afraid not. But you can definitely try.” Your lips curved up into a slight smile.
“How long are you staying here? Will you be leaving when you wrap up? What will your next project be?”
He furrowed his brows and mockingly said, “so many questions.”
You smiled shyly. “I’m sorry, I’m just curious.”
“Don’t worry darling. I’m just teasing.” You smiled as your heart fluttered how he called you darling, again.
“To answer your questions- I will be here for another month and then I will be leaving for my next project where I, again, can’t say anything about.”
Opening you mouth to ask another question but were interrupted when Henry’s hand shot to your mouth. 
“My turn.”
The warmth of his palm seeped through your skin causing a shudder to run down your spine as you grinned and nodded. 
“What is you favorite color?”
You hummed but answered in a heartbeat. “Sunset orange, just like the sky right now.”
“Well that was fast,” he chuckled, following your gaze to watch the colorful sky burst with all these lovely shades and nodded in understanding.
“What’s yours?” You asked and brought your gaze back to him. 
The warm and beautiful tones of the sunset sky casted its light, highlighting Henry’s features. His sharp stubble-covered jawline, the shape of his kissable lips and his ocean blue eyes which seemed to illuminate even more due the contrasting hues. This man was utterly stunning and outright gorgeous. And he was laying next to you, asking about your favorite color. It’s was still like you were dreaming but at the same time it felt so familiar, comfortable and just.. nice, as if you knew him for way longer than just the few hours you’ve spent together.
“I think I go for green,” he started while he brought his gaze back to yours, “and to be specific I think it’s called ‘hunter green’ just like the shade of your eyes.”
Heat started to rush to your cheeks while you snorted. “How cheesy,”
“Well, it may be cheesy but it’s true.” He flicked your nose which made you giggle as he continued.
“Talking about cheesy, what is your favorite food?” 
“Mmm.. I really enjoy Italian food and in town there is this restaurant which has the best pizza’s ever! The owner Mario, obviously from Italy, makes them with so much love and care and I know it sounds weird but you can really taste it. Besides that actually anything Italian makes my mouth water, but if I have to choose I would go for Mario’s pizza.”
“Sounds pretty good, what’s your go-to pizza?”
“Margherita for sure.”
“Really? I would’ve thought you’d be this girl who likes extra’s on her pizza.”
His comment made you gasp and you smacked him playfully on the chest pretending to be insulted.
“I do like some extra basil on my pizza but besides that I would like to keep it basic. No need for extra or other ingredients. When you taste it you will definitely understand.”
He was quiet for a moment and studied your face. Your heart beat started to rise again as you felt like he kept you hostage with his stare. Damn, those piercing eyes.. You couldn’t help when you felt the heat between your legs start to lit up again.
“I have an idea,” he started and tugged a loose strand behind your ear, “let’s order that pizza, I could use some food right now, don’t you?”
Before you could answer your stomach growled in response which made the both of you laugh. You were hungry, especially after you skipped your lunch-break at work due the peak hour and the leftover mess of the bachelor parties which still needed to be cleaned up. And after Henry came around making you hungry for something else, but now you could indeed use some food and the thought of your favorite pizza almost made you drool.
“You know what, let me order that pizza so you can pick out a movie.” You suggested. 
He flashed his fangs when he smiled. “I like that but I have even a better idea. What about we eat that pizza in the bath and then watch a movie.”
Your eyes widened in excitement. “Deal.”
Before you knew it the bathtub was filled with lavender scented bubbles which tickled your skin while the two of you enjoyed the rich and delicious flavor of Mario’s Margherita.
Henry took another bite, closed his eyes and moaned with his mouth full. “Twhis is sow gwood! I can rewly taste the lowve.” 
Your jaw started to strain slightly from all the times he made you smile. Glancing at him enjoying the pizza while sharing a nice and warm bath, his big frame filling most of the tub and even though it emphasized his posture it also made him very cute.
The conversation between you kept flowing so easily. You talked about your lives, work, family and friends and interests. And even though you sort-of knew him thanks to watching the endless interviews and seeing him on-screen, he somehow still surprised you with his pure and honest personality. You really enjoyed seeing and discovering this other side of Henry, especially when you talked about fantasy books, the way he passionately talked about a few of his favorites made your heart warm. 
Thanks to the comfortable temperature of the water and your now full stomach you felt satisfied and very content. You slid down a bit further so the water covered your shoulders all the way up to your chin while you leaned your head back and switching your gaze between him and the one-million-dollar-view of the city.
He stared right back at you and even though a silence stretched between you it wasn’t awkward. It was just.. pleasant. The sky outside now turning into a deeper azure shade, heading towards a midnight blue.
After a moment he spoke again. “Do you wanna watch the movie we’ve talked about?” 
“Yes, I would like that.” With those words the both of you got up. Henry was very keen on helping you step out of the bathtub and drying you off. You swallowed the lump in your throat as he toweled you down, taking extra time and care on your ass and breasts. The movement making your nipples harder as you felt your blood heath again, or was it because you just got out of a warm bath with a hot guy? Probably both.
Once completely dry Henry helped you in your robe again and quickly put on his own. You turned around to make your way towards the bed but were pulled back when Henry grabbed your wrist and gave a hard tug, making you stumble back and in a blink he had you lifted up bridal style and grinned wickedly. 
“Allow me.”
You mirrored his grin and cocked a brow. “Do I have a choice?”
Henry’s grin turned into a smirk. A deep hum vibrated through his chest as he walked you back to the bed. “No, you don’t.”
Biting your lip you tried to keep your breathing and heart beat at ease but somehow he seemed to have this talent to increase it with just a few words or touches. Not that you minded tho, not even in the slightest. 
He gently laid you down on the bed and immediately hovered over you, placing his knees on either side of you and leaned forward, his face so close to yours that your lips almost touched.
“I have one more question,” he said softly and caressed your cheek with the back of his hand. Slowly descending to the side of your neck, down your collarbone as you asked. 
“And that question is?”
“Are you ticklish?” Pausing his hand when he reached your sternum, he looked at you. It wouldn’t surprise you if he felt your pulse under his touch as you heart beat aggressively against your ribs.
You licked your lips and took in a deep breath, trying to keep your voice steady.
“No.”
He tilted his head and tutted. “You’re a bad liar, Joanne.” 
You couldn’t suppress the squeal which bubbled its way out of your throat. “I-“
Before you could finish your sentence he had his hands placed on your waist, squeezing and tickling your sides as you helplessly moved underneath him. Laughter escaped in short breaths as you tried to catch his hands.
“Hen— Henry— I— ah— stop I can’t—“ you begged, trying to form a sentence but failed.
“You know the word, darling,” his said as he swatted your hands away and continued his torment.
“Ah! Plea— Henry— okay please!” You managed to get out and he paused.
“Say that again.” His voice now and octave lower as he watched you hungrily.
Panting your repeated, “I said… please.”
His Adams apple bobbed as he swallowed and leaned in. Your breath hitched and suddenly the playful tension morphed into another kind of tension which made your skin burst out in goosebumps. 
“Again.” He commanded and you happily obliged.
“Please, Henry.” The word leaving your lips in a whisper. 
“I love to hear you say that.” He huskily said and pressed his lips to yours.
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I would love to hear what you think, thanks to those who left me a message, I appreciate it a lot!
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raincitygirl76 · 5 months
Text
Wisdom of Tumblr, is it possible to link to every post which one Tumblr user has tagged with the same tag? Because I could’ve sworn there was a way to do that, and that I’ve done it before. But when I try to do it today, I’m only able to link to the most recent post that person gave that tag to.
@starvalisedham has some super interesting posts about how Swedish surnames work in general, and how Swedish noble surnames work in particular. All tagged with #edvin Ryding. But I can’t reblog any of those posts, for some reason. I was hoping to be able to link to all of them instead, as an alternative to Reblogging.
It’s not the end of the world if I can’t. LOL There aren’t THAT many posts, so I can just link each one individually. But it’s bugging me that I could swear I’ve done it before with a completely different Tumblr user and completely different tag.
Edited to Add:
Thanks to the brilliance and helpfulness of @skibasyndrome I now know how to do this. Voila all the links in question!
And here's HOW you do it, once again courtesy of @skibasyndrome
Example:
URL.tumblr.com/tagged/the-tag-you-want
Actual Coding I typed in so I could create the link above. Please note you use the code "%20" instead of spaces when you're typning tags. Since the original tag was Edving Ryding, rather than a space, I typed in Edvin%20Ryding for the relevant tag. And got all that user's posts with that tag.
https://www.tumblr.com/starvalisedham/tagged/edvin%20ryding
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