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aphrodites-law · 3 years

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A Bit of Clarity - Update

In honor of Clexmas20, Day 5: The Naughty List. We all know who’s on it.

A Bit of Clarity 🍂 (13/?) / (AO3) The visions had started last autumn, a year ago now. It had caused a bit of chaos for some, a bit of clarity for others. Two days ago, Clarke Griffin had been perfectly fine managing both her Café and her stress. But now she was curious - so deeply curious about the vision of herself entwined with the aloof Lexa Woods that it was leading her to complete distraction.

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8] [part 9] [part 10] [part 11] [part 12]

Though hope could be dangerous, Clarke had felt it bloom when Lexa had turned around to look up at her. She still couldn't chase it away while she waited for Lexa to reach the top of the stairs, and even less when Lexa finally appeared, breathing fast, with cheeks already slightly red from the chill of the night. Clarke wanted nothing more than to run to her, but something had her rooted in place.

Now barefoot and without her coat, she should have felt the cold floor and the chill in the corridor. Instead, all she could feel was her heart racing. Lexa seemed stunned to be back here, but in awe rather than shock. Her mouth opened and closed twice, like she was thinking too fast and reconsidering each one of her words.

Finally, Clarke couldn't take the silence any longer: "If you come any closer-"

"I know," Lexa replied immediately. "Believe me, I know."

Lexa said the last part with such yearning that Clarke had to clutch the side of her door, as if it digging her nails into it might somehow smother the fire inside her. Conscious of how desire could override good sense, at least in their shared history, she knew honesty was the only way forward:

"I don't want just tonight," she said, voice cracking at the end.

This couldn't be an impulse. It couldn't be an itch to scratch. Clarke had always known she wanted more. That if regret entered their thoughts in the morning, her heart would break. It was what her vision had told her all along: that avoiding vulnerability had kept her from a more meaningful connection. That she'd quieted a part of herself out of fear it would crush her. And she hoped Lexa was thinking the same; that she'd turn away if deep down she knew it wasn't right just yet. After all, it may have felt like an eternity since they'd decided to take their time, but the reality was quite a bit shorter.

As if answering those fears, Lexa shook her head. "When I was down there I remembered what I told you earlier: that I'm certain about us. And… I am. I am, Clarke. I want every minute you'd give me." She started walking then, her hand brushing against the wall to steady herself. "I want mornings in your kitchen; afternoons in your café." She stopped and swallowed. "And I want nights in your arms."

There was a beat - an agreement between them - that felt so similar to the one before their first kiss that Clarke knew nothing else could follow it but just that. She shot off, and Lexa did too, until they met each other in the middle of the corridor. Clarke pulled Lexa into her, and Lexa's hands went to her waist, both of them moaning in relief when they finally kissed, warm lips meeting cold ones with such force that Lexa stumbled and her back thudded against the wall.

"Sorry!" Clarke said.

Lexa smiled just then, deliriously happy, before kissing her again. She had Clarke pressed against the opposite wall in a second.

"Don't be," she said. "I like it."

Their next kiss held nothing back - not after Clarke heard such an admission - and ended only when Lexa pressed her lips against her jawline.

"I've played this out in my head so many times," Lexa breathed out shakily. "At the café I'd look at you and I'd remember how it felt to kiss you - to finally kiss you."

Clarke moaned as Lexa continued claiming her neck.

"I'd wish I could press you up against the display again and never make the mistake of pulling away. Take you right there." Her hands tightened on Clarke's waist and then inched up with a hunger written on her face. "You feel so right, Clarke. You always have. I can't even think straight when you're in the room. It's all you, all the time."

Clarke felt dizzy, unable to think coherently herself let alone form words with her mouth. She reached for Lexa's hand and brought it to her breast over her sweater, breathing hotly in the small space that separated their lips. "Then take me now," she managed to plead.

Lexa groaned before reclaiming her lips, cupping her breast at the same time their kiss deepened. Her tongue was silky soft, but her hands had a roughness to them that made Clarke throb with want. There was nothing rough or careless about Lexa herself, but weeks of thinking instead of acting had both of them on edge.

In the back of her mind, Clarke vaguely remembered they had yet to cross into her apartment, but at the forefront was Lexa's body pressed tightly against hers, Lexa's tongue in her mouth, and Lexa's hands on her breasts. She moaned loudly, and maybe it was that that spurred Lexa on. She guided Clarke toward the door, both of them clumsily trying to kiss at the same time, lips stretching into smiles when they bumped into each other.

Clarke finally opened Lexa's coat, and Lexa finally had her bra unsnapped, the move so swift that Clarke was only aware of it when Lexa slipped a hand beneath her sweater and cupped her bare breast. Her knees went weak and she stifled a cry against Lexa's neck. She was pressed against the wall again, the ache between her legs growing stronger.

"Lexa, baby, wait- inside."

Lexa nodded but made no move in that direction, instead crouching down to kiss her cleavage. She licked and nipped the exposed skin while she palmed her breast, until she couldn't help herself and ran a thumb over the stiff peak. Clarke gasped and threaded her fingers through Lexa's thick hair, so close to forgetting all about common courtesy. She had neighbors she liked. Neighbors who were also customers. Neighbors she'd want to introduce to Lexa, one day.

She searched for the door next to her and pushed it wide open, then pulled Lexa inside by the lapels of her coat. Though miffed at the interruption, Lexa recovered spectacularly well when Clarke shut the door behind them and resumed their kissing. She had Lexa pinned next to the coat rack, which rattled against the wall. Lexa's hands found her ass and squeezed.

"Fuck," Clarke breathed out. "I never thought it could be like this."

Lexa licked her bottom lip. "Like what?"

"Like…" Clarke's eyes darkened and she promptly pulled down Lexa's coat. "Wanting you so much it's painful."

In full agreement, Lexa pushed off the wall to kiss her. They moved further inside, blindly finding their way. Lexa mapped every inch of Clarke's skin she could reach, craving more. It was almost overwhelming, and perhaps the best indicator of how long it had been since she'd let passion overtake her.

"I want- I want-"

"Tell me," Clarke coaxed, desperate to get it out of her. Lexa had such a way with the written word, but Clarke needed her voice tonight.

"I feel like I'm going to starve if I don't have you now," she finally admitted as Clarke bumped into the kitchen table.

Clarke sat on it and felt a jolt of pleasure shoot through her when Lexa immediately stepped between her thighs. It was familiar and yet different from the cramped room of the café, where the thrill had been in the stolen moment. Clarke had known nothing further than kissing would happen then.

This time, Lexa cupped her cheek; and it was tender, because tenderness underlined everything Lexa did, even something as mundane as typing on her keyboard, but it was possessive too. Not possessive in a way Clarke had ever known, or at least not the kind that stemmed from dominance and jealousy. It was from something else that Clarke had felt too; this deep-seated hope that only she could satisfy Lexa. It was arrogant, she couldn't deny it, but it was true of Lexa too. No one else had ever had such a hold on her body, and no one else could satisfy her tonight - it seemed like Lexa was perhaps proudly aware of it.

"Tell me how you want me," Clarke rasped.

Lexa pressed her forehead against hers, her breathing fast and warm. Her hand slid down from her cheek to her neck, as if wanting to touch her everywhere and unsure where to finally settle.

"I want what you said before I left: my body against yours; my mouth on your thighs… my tongue inside you." Clarke shivered as Lexa looked down at her heaving chest. "Do you have any idea how many times I tormented myself with glimpses of you touching yourself? Knowing you'd seen me; us?"

Lexa tugged at the bottom of Clarke's sweater and pulled it up, letting Clarke lift her arms before she took it off completely, her bra coming with it. Clarke's hair fell back messily and Lexa seemed to enjoy the sight, exhaling sharply before she had to crush their lips together again. The coarse fabric of Lexa's sweater rubbed against her nipples in the most pleasurable way.

"And I can't stand not knowing anymore," Lexa groaned.

While Clarke lost herself to the glorious feeling of Lexa's mouth against hers, with no end in sight for the first time, she faintly felt hands work on the buttons of her pants. Lexa grew more frenzied after they came off, hooking her fingers in her underwear to pull them down her legs.

Before she even realized it, Clarke was naked on the table while Lexa stood fully clothed, almost insufferably smug when she pinned Clarke’s wrists down. There was something about being completely at Lexa’s mercy in this moment, so utterly vulnerable and safe at the same time, that made Clarke dizzy with need.

While Lexa drank her in with a darkened stare, Clarke tried and failed to steady her breathing. Past her awkward teenage years she'd been comfortable with her body; with her full breasts and her curves, but Lexa’s noticeable desire has her feeling like a work of art. It was emboldening.

“Are you just going to stare...?” She husked.

Pulled out of her lustful reverie, Lexa let go of her hands to trail up her thighs. She felt cool against her skin, but was quickly warming up now. She kissed her throat sensually and licked over her pulse as she had after their date on the mountain.

“Now I’ve seen all of you too,” she whispered, sending a shiver down Clarke's spine.

Clarke cupped the back of her neck and kissed her desperately, squirming on the table for relief. But Lexa clearly intended to provide it, her hand inching so close to Clarke's entrance that she could feel its heat.

"I want to be inside you," she said, only pressing closer after Clarke had nodded.

Lexa's fingers were coated with her arousal as soon as they parted her folds. Clarke had wanted this for so long, and so strongly, that it was no surprise how wet she was. She'd felt her own desire for Lexa multiple times before, and it was fierce.

"I think you want that too," Lexa noted as her thumb reached up to brush over her clit.

"Don't tease me," Clarke whined, arching into Lexa's touch. "Fuck, I can't take it anymore. I can't."

Lexa hummed against her neck, two of her fingers barely dipping inside. "You can…"

The words had Clarke on the verge of tears. "No, baby, please-"

"But not tonight," Lexa said before penetrating her.

"Oh, fuck!" Clarke moaned loudly, throwing her arm around Lexa's neck as she lied her down on the table.

"I've got you," Lexa said.

She pumped inside her, her eyes mesmerized by Clarke's face and the pleasure written on it. Clarke's mouth remained agape as she took her in, finally full. Lexa felt so good; unlike any dream or vision she could’ve conjured for herself again.

"More, Lexa- fuck-" she panted, acutely aware how close she already was.

Lexa barely waited a beat before she picked up the pace, taking her deep and hard. There would be a time for slow and sensuous, where she would caress and worship every inch of the gorgeous woman beneath her, but neither of them had the patience for it now. In this moment Clarke needed release and Lexa needed the thrill of giving it to her.

The feet of the table thumped against the floor and something fell, but the windows could have shattered and Clarke would have still pulled Lexa closer. She'd never imagined their sex like this, but god did it feel good. It was dirty and frenzied, but it was them. It wasn't something she could have done with anyone else; that she'd ever needed with anyone else.

She gasped against Lexa's neck, tasting salt when her tongue peeked out. Lexa still had her clothes on, but she was breathing so hard that Clarke knew she was starting to sweat too. The apartment felt so much hotter already; the air already smelling like them.

Lexa took a nipple in her mouth, licking and sucking while Clarke rocked her hips against her hand, chasing her release. This is what she'd missed out on, she vaguely thought. The urge to share all of herself, to give and be taken so fucking thoroughly she could barely even remember her own name. She only had Lexa on her mind; Lexa lavishing attention on her chest and curling her fingers inside her.

"Oh god, don't stop!" She cried out, her nails scratching down Lexa's back beneath her top, not hard enough to pierce skin but hard enough to hurt good.

Lexa's hips jerked forward and Clarke realized she was moving them against the table, following the in and out rhythm of her fingers to give herself some relief. It must've been only a few minutes since Clarke had finally felt Lexa inside her, but the thought of her so wound up paired with her small moans pushed Clarke over the edge. She tensed and came with a sharp cry, her orgasm crashing throughout her body in waves. Her ankles locked around Lexa's waist and she realized her fingers were still in that thick hair of hers, now wild and messy.

Lexa hummed in between kisses to her breasts and throat, anywhere she could reach as Clarke slowly unwound beneath her. She pulled out of her and drew lazy circles against her clit, not ready to pull away entirely. The smell of their mixed arousal was heady, and all she could think about was finally tasting Clarke. It was a surprise when she heard a small laugh and then saw Clarke cover her face with her hands.

"I knew I'd be fast, but…"

Lexa pressed her nose against the back of her hand. "Hm, I guess I have time to go home."

Clarke immediately reached for her collar. "No jokes. Besides, that was a warm-up." She kissed her and then licked her bottom lip. "Just to clear my head."

"Yes, of course," Lexa played along. "A practice round?"

"Exactly."

They laughed before kissing again, laughter soon changing to moans. Clarke got off the table to pull Lexa toward the bedroom, eager for a softer surface. There'd been some truth to what she said: the orgasm did make her a little less useless, though she was rapidly feeling hot all over again.

They kissed between the quick shedding of Lexa's clothes, hands working fast to pull up her sweater and undo her shirt. The more skin was exposed, the tighter they held each other, desperate to feel skin on skin.

Clarke felt so hungry for Lexa that when their tongues met again she stuttered in her movements. Lexa's hands on her waist steadied her, but the brief halt slowed nothing down.

By the time the back of Clarke's knees hit her bed, she was pulling an equally naked Lexa atop her. The weight of her felt like finding what she had been missing for months, for years, and when Lexa pulled back and looked at her, making sure her renewed ardor was welcome, Clarke felt like nothing could compare to being looked at like this, with so much desire she couldn't even comprehend it.

Their next kiss made Clarke's toes curl. Lexa's tongue wasn't timid against hers. Lexa's hands weren’t hesitant when they kneaded her breasts, her thumbs sweeping over her nipples to tease the hard peaks. She took one in her mouth and Clarke gasped helplessly, not sure she would ever get used to the heat of Lexa's mouth. As wound up as she was, Lexa still seemed more interested in exploring Clarke's body. She fondled and licked, checking for signs of what made Clarke tick the most - a teasing suck, a gentle bite, or a rough squeeze.

Their bodies moved together toward one common goal, yet in no rush to reach the finish line once more. Clarke's moans surprised her. She wasn't usually quiet but she wasn't extraordinarily loud either. But Lexa had awakened something inside her. She craved her so much it was almost frightening.

"Come here," Clarke pleaded as she tried tugging Lexa back up. Her thoughts filled with Lexa coming apart beneath her, but Lexa had other plans.

"I need to taste you," she breathed out while she left gentle pecks down Clarke's stomach.

When Lexa parted her thighs and finally kissed her clit, Clarke looked down and gasped. Suddenly, she thought of her vision. She saw it so clearly now that she wondered how she could've ever thought it wasn't Lexa. And yet she felt indescribable happiness when she realized it wasn't quite what she had seen either. The air was different, the smell, even the way they moved together. Her vision wasn't a one-off - she knew that clearly now. One day perhaps they would be back in her bed, and Lexa would be breathing her in, and Clarke would know she was living what she had once seen. But tonight was still wonderfully unknown. It was theirs to discover together.

Needing to feel Lexa above all, Clarke reached for her head and moaned out her name. Lexa looked up and smiled, not once looking away while she lowered her mouth and slid her tongue through her.

"Lexa - oh god - make me come…" she pleaded, the fire inside her all-consuming.

Lexa's nose pressed against her as she drew closer, finally licking inside her. Clarke's eyes squeezed shut and she writhed beneath her, hips rocking against her mouth.

Oh she was good at this, but what struck Clarke the most was how intense she was, almost to the point of greed, like Clarke was hers to please. Like she took her pleasure from giving it, spurred on the messier it was and so eager to lap it all up. And it was messy - almost to an embarrassing point, Clarke briefly thought, to be this wet and this eager to be devoured.

Lexa worked her hard and long, maddening, never once tiring. She knew where she wanted to go but she took direction too, with Clarke's hands in her hair, sometimes guiding closer, sometimes slightly to the side and oh-

"Lexa!" Clarke gasped when she felt two fingers inside her again. A third finger quickly joined and started the delicious torture of building her up.

The air around them was almost stifling, but Clarke never wanted to leave this room. She'd lost all inhibition in Lexa's arms, in this bed, and it was the most freeing feeling in the world. She'd known they had a connection - that they brought out something exhilarating and new in each other - but she hadn't dreamed of something like this. Of understanding each other so utterly fast.

"You taste so good," Lexa said before she flicked her tongue over her clit, smiling proudly when Clarke's fingers pressed against her scalp again.

"I'm so close - so close-" Clarke's back arched and she spread her thighs wider, offering herself fully, crying out when Lexa's fingers stroked a deep spot inside her. "Right there, right there," she moaned, but any other plea was swiftly cut off.

Her orgasm had her clawing at the sheets, gripping until her knuckles went white; her heart pounding. She called out for Lexa followed by a string of expletives, her thoughts completely wiped out. For a few seconds, there was nothing else existing in this world but this very feeling.

"Oh god, fuck," she said as she regained some sense of space. "Come here, baby, please."

Lexa licked her lips before moving up her body, her senses so attuned to Clarke's taste and smell; the very feel of her beneath her fingertips.

Clarke kissed her deeply once her breathing had calmed down. It was wet and filthy, a kiss that specifically aimed to further Lexa's arousal. Once Clarke had recovered, it was no surprise that she pushed Lexa on her back and straddled her.

And while Lexa had successfully kept her mind off of her own needs so far, it was impossible now. Clarke entwined their fingers together and pinned them on each side of Lexa's head, grinning when Lexa's attention immediately went to her hanging breasts, too far for her mouth to reach.

"You want something?" Clarke coyly asked as she started grinding against her, her breasts now swaying gently with her body.

Lexa squeezed her hands in frustration. "Clarke…"

Clarke leaned down and grinned cockily when Lexa tried kissing her.

"I think you like this," she said, her mouth so close she could feel Lexa's warm breath. She could smell herself too, and even in the poor lighting from the hallway, she could see her essence on Lexa's chin.

"I think you've liked it for a long time. How we'd touch but barely; kiss but never long enough. It's how you drove me crazy for weeks. But I know I liked it, deep down." She rubbed herself against Lexa's thighs and watched her reaction closely. "How it pushed me toward the edge. How much more intense it made touching myself every night, wondering how much closer we were to a night like this."

Lexa's eyes squeezed shut for a second. "Fuck," she breathed out, to Clarke's wicked delight.

"Hmm, I know you like picturing that." She kissed her throat and then finally kissed her breasts. "Let me take care of you." She let go of her hands to palm one breast while she teased the other with her tongue, sighing when Lexa moaned lowly.

Lexa slung an arm around her middle, fingers stretched out on her back, just to feel her closer. Just to be selfish for a moment and keep this woman - this bold, extraordinary woman - all to herself. She had wanted to give so much tonight, to push Clarke over the edge and bring her back, over and over again, but beneath Clarke's mouth and hands she was unable to ignore her own desire any longer.

Her breathing stuttered as she watched her leave open-mouthed kisses down her stomach, adoring every freckle.

Maybe Clarke had seen Lexa's body before even truly knowing her, but it couldn't compare to actually feeling her. Feeling the warmth of her skin and how her muscles tensed; watching the dim light bounce on her tattoo when she flexed her arm; how her eyes darkened the more time passed. Her vision had been about her own pleasure, but Clarke found Lexa's pleasure much more exhilarating.

"What do you want?" She asked this time, stroking the inside of Lexa's thigh.

Lexa looked so taken aback for a second that Clarke wondered if she still wasn't used to being asked that. The first time Clarke had ever asked her, at night in the café, Lexa had kissed her. The second, she had implied it didn't matter. But it did, and Clarke would make sure Lexa always knew it.

Lexa gripped her hip, pulling her closer. Then, she cupped the back of her neck to kiss her, maybe as a way of stalling. Clarke couldn't imagine why she would do it, until Lexa nudged her higher up on her body again. Clarke laughed when her breasts were at eye level and Lexa licked her bottom lip.

"Well I know what to give you for Christmas now," she said.

Lexa smiled before lifting her head to nuzzle one breast. "I could stay here forever."

"Hmm, I'll see what I can do about that." Clarke reached between her legs and touched her, her knees almost buckling when she felt how wet Lexa was.

Lexa's breathing quickened and she pressed her face against Clarke's cleavage, her arm still tight around her.

"Clarke, fuck," she exhaled sharply.

It was distracting enough to have Lexa's mouth so close to her breasts again, but when she lifted her thigh ever so slightly, Clarke felt it against her center and briefly wavered. Knowing she'd be a lost cause if she started grinding down on it, she slid two fingers inside Lexa and watched as she tipped her head back.

Clarke had always known Lexa to be hard to pinpoint; reserved at times and yet so passionate at others. Detached some days and sociable on others. The vision had captured just how intense she could be, like a switch she turned on. For a long time Clarke had thought of her as a walking contradiction, but as she looked at her face now, she saw none of that. Lexa had trusted her with so much; and asked for so little in return. And while Clarke had yearned for the intimacy in her vision, she realized then they'd shared that long before shedding their clothes. Touching Lexa - finally touching Lexa - was just the culmination of it.

"You feel amazing," she whispered as she pressed inside her, amazed by Lexa's small moans and how she held her. They couldn't possibly be closer, their sweaty bodies sliding against each other, and yet it still felt like there was too much between them.

Clarke felt Lexa's thigh tense and moaned, not expecting it to feel so good against her clit. When Lexa nudged her hips and encouraged her to grind down, Clarke gave into the urge.

"Don't stop," Lexa panted, tongue flicking against Clarke's breast again.

Clarke would've never dared, the thought of pulling out almost laughable. Every cell in her body was focused on Lexa; on the sound of her fingers thrusting inside her and the quick rise and fall of her chest. She couldn't get enough of her; couldn't wait to watch her come undone.

Lexa writhed beneath her, hips rising to meet the rhythm she had set. Her eyes were closed now and there was a slight crease between her brows. It made Clarke smile, remembering too fondly how wound up Lexa had been when they had first met. It had been apparent then and it was apparent now, differently of course, only Clarke intended to make sure she found her release.

"I've got you," she echoed Lexa's earlier sentiment, remembering how it had made her feel.

While Clarke hadn't been able to quiet her moans, Lexa's impeding orgasm seemed to have the opposite effect. Her lips were parted and her hold on Clarke had tightened, but she seemed to have retreated into herself.

"Baby, look at me," Clarke gently coxed as her thrusts quickened.

Lexa looked up with shining eyes, and for a moment Clarke lost herself in them. She couldn't really explain what happened then, if their arousal was heightening everything, but she felt every bit of Lexa's trust in her, and it made her heart swell. She bent down to kiss her, and even if it was sloppy it felt like she might cry from it.

Now desperate for Lexa to feel the same way she'd made her, Clarke pulled out of her and focused on her clit, rubbing it until Lexa's fingers dug into her back and she gasped.

"Clarke- fuck, oh-" She came with a soft cry, trying to keep her eyes open until she couldn't any longer. She reached for Clarke's hand and interlaced their fingers, her way of showing she was still here, in the moment, and had no intention of leaving.

Clarke drank in every change in her expression, from her brow finally relaxing to the little twitch in her nose she could only describe as so fucking cute. Lexa was breathtaking. It felt like her chest had exploded with happiness. She couldn't put it into words yet, but she would one day - that much she knew.

With that thought, Clarke rested her head on Lexa's shoulder and grinned, just because it felt exactly like the thing to do.

* * *

Clarke woke up on her stomach to the feeling of Lexa's lips on the back of her neck and her knuckles brushing down her spine. She kept her eyes shut, the light of the morning sun already filtering through the thin drapes. Lexa must've gotten up at some point to shut them, because it certainly hadn't been a priority last night. It'd been a while since Clarke had woken up after dawn, but the café was the furthest thing from her mind today, interviews be damned.

"Hmm feels nice," she mumbled into her pillow. She stretched her arms and legs, nearly purring when she realized Lexa's naked body was pressed against her back.

"Good morning," Lexa murmured.

Clarke faced her with a shy grin. Lexa looked so stunning with her tousled hair and the soft light on her face.

"Hi," she said, her voice still scratchy.

"How do you feel?"

Clarke snorted. "How do you think?"

Lexa smiled and bent down to kiss her, but the initial gentle press of lips soon turned into something deeper when Clarke reached out for her cheek and opened her mouth. Lexa sighed into it, her hand now resting on her ass and squeezing it when Clarke grew bolder.

"Don't start what you can't finish…" Clarke pulled away, the pulse between her legs throbbing familiarly.

"I wouldn't dare," Lexa replied confidently before straddling Clarke's legs and bending down again to kiss her shoulder blades.

"Lexa…" Clarke's breathing picked up as she guessed her intentions. She was wet, maybe wetter than she'd expected just a few minutes after waking up, but Lexa had this effect on her. She felt her shuffle back before cupping her ass with both hands.

"Raise your hips for me, baby," Lexa gently said.

Clarke did as requested, her hands gripping the sheets beneath her when she suddenly felt Lexa's tongue flat against her slit. The pillow muffled her moan. She buried her face in it, picturing Lexa positioned behind her so clearly it made her stomach tighten even more. Not seeing her made it all the more intense; a sign she trusted Lexa wholly, even at her most exposed.

Lexa tongued her clit and then dipped inside her, teasing her slowly, unlike the frantic pace they had set last night. It was purposeful though, building on the pressure Clarke already felt so strongly.

"Oh my god," she gave a low moan, helpless to do anything but hope Lexa would take pity on her fast.

She didn't. Lexa alternated between slow drags of her tongue against her entrance and gentle suction on her clit, as if exploring her anew in the morning light. Clarke groaned, thinking this might be how she would go insane. She needed so much more - Lexa deep inside her, taking her roughly until she was finally rid of the pulsing ache between her legs.

"Lexa, please-" she said, her fingers digging into the mattress.

Lexa shifted and Clarke suddenly shivered in anticipation. Yesterday had been heated and impatient, but this morning was a different kind of yearning. How far could they push and pull each other? How much could they give and take?

Taking her cue, Lexa drew unhurried circles around her clit before repositioning herself. She leaned down, her breasts against Clarke's back, though not so heavily that Clarke would crumple completely beneath her weight. Then, she pushed two fingers inside her.

"Fuck," Clarke moaned, knees pressed into the mattress.

Flashes of herself getting off like this the first time filled her mind. It had been the first time she'd thought of Lexa - at least consciously. The first time she'd needed to get off so badly that only picturing Lexa would satisfy her. And it had been enough then, but it had never been this good. If Lexa kept this going, she couldn't imagine leaving her room today.

"Like this?" Lexa asked as she filled her.

God, Lexa sure picked her moments. Clarke couldn't think straight, let alone speak!

"Faster," she managed to whimper.

Lexa hummed in acknowledgment and then sucked on her neck, moving her hips in such a way that it matched the movement of her fingers. Clarke felt like she was being mounted; taken so hard and good that she'd walk funny for days. She parted her thighs wider, lewdly, just to feel Lexa deeper.

"Harder… More…"

Lexa knew how to tease but she wasn't cruel at it, at least not this morning. She obeyed Clarke's commands smoothly, as if nothing could please her more than pleasing Clarke.

"I thought about you too," Lexa admitted quietly, like it was a dirty secret of hers. "Just like this."

Clarke's foggy mind processed the words slowly, her heart jolting when she realized what Lexa meant. Lexa shifted behind her and Clarke felt her grind against her ass, like she needed to alleviate the ache she was feeling herself before continuing.

"Thought about you spread out for me." Lexa shifted slightly to change the angle. "Hearing you say my name."

"Lexa-"

"Just like that. I thought about taking you with my tongue first - soft and gentle."

"Oh, oh," Clarke panted into the pillow.

Lexa picked up the pace. "With my fingers - hard and fast."

Clarke's mouth opened but no sound came out as her body hurtled toward release, the delicious pressure tightening with each word.

"And when I was about to come I'd think about taking you with my strap - in deep, long strokes." Lexa finally added a third finger and watched as Clarke's back arched in pleasure.

"Oh my- God, Lex- Don't stop, don't stop!"

"Never," Lexa breathed out.

Their bodies moved together as one again, and soon Lexa found it harder to keep herself from collapsing on Clarke. She chased her own release, grinding against her, spurred on each time Clarke said her name.

Finally Clarke's whole body tensed before she moaned loudly into the pillow, pleasure bursting within her as she reached her peak. Her toes curled and her mind went blank, wiped out by Lexa's thorough fucking. One, two, three thrusts of her hips against her ass and Lexa was crying out her name in the crook of her neck, her voice a soft rasp until all Clarke heard was their ragged breathing.

Lexa lied on her for a minute, the weight of her so warm and pleasant that Clarke wished she'd just stay there and they could fall asleep like this. Lexa reached for her hand and held it, mumbling something Clarke couldn't quite make out at first.

"You're amazing," Lexa said more clearly as she moved to the side, lying next to Clarke. "So fucking amazing."

Clarke quickly realized something. "Oh Lex…" she started giggling.

"What is it?" Lexa asked with amusement, propping herself up on her elbow and adoring Clarke's contagious laughter. "Was it too much?"

Clarke shook her head and pulled back. "Not at all. I was just thinking… we lasted about a week."

"Oh." Lexa smiled. "Well, God made the world in a week. A whole world. So I'd argue a week is an honorable amount of time to wait."

Clarke pushed Lexa on her back so she could rest her head on her chest, wanting to bask in the warmth of their bodies as her heart settled down.

"True, but I'm not sure the Bible would approve of this."

Lexa shrugged. "We just did our part fulfilling a different prophecy. Which reminds me... How did I compare?"

Clarke laughed tiredly. "No, this wasn't it."

"Really?"

"It was different."

Lexa thought about this for a beat. "How so?"

Clarke kissed the side of her breast. "Just… realer. Looking back, the vision was almost like… like I wasn't fully in my body. It's hard to explain. It can't be compared."

"Hm. Interesting."

Clarke looked up. "You're not going to include this in the Gazette, are you?"

"Well of course I am, this was all just a ploy to further my research."

Clarke moved to playfully nip her earlobe. "In that case I'll have to keep you in this room forever."

Lexa grinned while Clarke peppered her neck with kisses. "I'll agree to those terms in the name of research." She capture her lips and sighed into their sweet kiss, her arms right where she had wanted them for so long, around Clarke's waist.

Staying here forever had a nice ring to it.

#Clexmas20 #clexa #clexa fic #f: a bit of clarity

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jacaranda-bloom · 3 years

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FIC WRITER QUESTIONS

Thank you to the lovely @allwaswell16 @runaway-train-works @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed @uhoh-but-yeah-alright and @evilovesyou for tagging me to answer some questions about my writing.

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

901,445 (Hoping to hit the Magic Million by the end of the year!)

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

1 (One Direction)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

When Tomorrow Comes 1155

The Baby Whisperer 950

Love, Ever After 898

Harry Poppins 856

Play Me A Memory 760

More under the cut…

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh gosh. Uhm. I don’t really write angsty endings? All my fics have Happy Endings and most have epilogues to round them out and tie them up in a bow. Perhaps I’d say If You’re Out There (I’ll Find You Somehow) purely because (spoiler ahead) the epilogue is written 100 years into the future so they’ve both passed.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Interestingly, I would actually say the answer is the same as above, If You’re Out There (I’ll Find You Somehow). The epilogue is so uplifting and I cry happy tears every time I re-read it. It’s written from the POV of their granddaughter and you get to see the world they had a hand in changing for the better through her eyes, so you get a sense of how impactful their lives were on the rest of society. Oof, tearing up right now just thinking about it.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Yeah, I have actually. I really enjoy doing new takes on an existing universes, although they aren’t always the easiest thing to pull off tbh. I’m not sure which I would say is the craziest, but the hardest to write was definitely The Peter Pan/Hook AU.

Harry Poppins - Loosely based on the book/movie Mary Poppins, but without any magical aspects.

Playing To Win - Set in the Big Brother house.

The Pirate and The Piper - A Peter Pan/Hook AU which I took a lot of liberties with.

In The Still Of The Night - My Dirty Dancing AU.

A Hungry Heart - This is a Great British Bake Off AU that is due out in September for the Cliche Fic Fest!

8) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Whoa Nelly. Yeah, I do. All the time. Every fic actually. There’s only one, Exposed, the only fic I’ve published that’s not rated Explicit and doesn’t have smut. But, to be fair, the challenge was to write exactly 666 words and I still managed to get the implication in there. Plus, Louis was naked and Harry was applying body paint for the majority of the story, so like, I think I can get a free pass on that one - I tried!

In terms of what type of smut, I guess it varies depending on the story. I tend not to push the boat out too far, but I do dabble in BDSM in quite a few of my fics. A recurring theme in the comments I receive is that my smut scenes are well constructed and detailed, without being too tedious or drawn out, which is lovely feedback to get because they can be challenging to write.

9) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Absolutely. Every single one.

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not often, people are usually so kind, but there have been a couple.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of!

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah, quite a lot, particularly on Wattpad, all with my full consent. That said, I’m thinking of stopping this because it’s getting a bit out of hand and I’ve been feeling uncomfortable about it recently for various reasons that I won’t bore you with here.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! I don’t think it’s really my thing tbh. I get very in my head about writing and struggle even to brainstorm or share too much until I’m well into a story.

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

Of the 47 fics I’ve written, there are 45 Larry, 1 Narry, and 1 Louis/Dermot O’Leary (I think mine is still the only fic with this ship hahahaa), so that’s probably a good indication of my fave writing ship.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I have one lonely WIP sitting on AO3 from 2018. I keep promising myself I’ll finish it and it’s on my schedule every year, then I get distracted by other fics/fests and it gets pushed back. Plus, it needs a complete rewrite because my style has developed so much since I started it, so it’ll be a big job. Based on that, I think that the fic, in its current form, won’t ever be finished as the rewrite will completely wipe out what it was, although the underlying plot will still be there.

16) What are your writing strengths?

World building (or so I’m often told). I write very visually and people often say they can imagine the scene exactly, or that it’s like a movie, or that they think it’s actually a real place I’m describing, when most of the time it absolutely isn’t, it’s just something I’ve created in my weird brain.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue (although my lovely beta disagrees) and telling rather than showing. They’re both things I’m actively working on.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’ve never really considered it. It’s not something I’d shy away from necessarily, but it’s just never come up.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

One Direction. First and only.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Wow. This is really tough because it changes over time. I find that once I’ve finished a fic I don’t want to revisit it for a few months because I’m kind of over it. But I find comfort in them after a while, like I get to go back to that happy place and immerse myself in that world and the characters again, similar to catching up with an old friend. It’s familiar. I think I also like different stories for different reasons and I’m drawn to various ones depending on my mood. My top 3 (although, ask me next week and the list will probably be completely different!) would probably be:

1. If You’re Out There (I’ll Find You Somehow). Written for the hybrid fic fest (a fest I created just for this fic lol). It’s not everyone’s cup of tea due to the hybrid aspect, but it’s one of the stories I feel is the most rounded from a character development perspective and the world building was pretty epic, if I can be so bold as to throw that out there myself!

2. No Going Back. One of my Big Bangs from 2020. I adore the way their relationship develops in this fic and the setting (as remote lighthouse keepers) was such a lot of fun to write. Plus I got to collaborate with an amazing artist who created an entire website as an accompanying travel blog which was truly wonderful.

3. From The Heart. This is a series I wrote for wordplay back in 2019. I had no idea that what I was doing was so unusual and so meta by having Louis essentially write for the equivalent of wordplay in the fic. It was such an fun way to share my writing process and challenges I encounter (exactly how many synonyms tabs do I have open at any one time?!) and I thoroughly enjoyed the outcome (although getting there was definitely a struggle).

This was really fun and thanks to anyone who made it this far! Writing brings me so much joy and is a wonderful outlet for all the imaginings in my head, so I appreciate everyone who supports me and joins me on that journey.

I’m pretty late with this and I’m not sure who has already done it but I’ll tag @fallinglikethis @homosociallyyours @lululawrence @reminiscingintherain and @beau-soleil-louis if they’d like to do this and haven’t already.

#August 13 2021 #fic writer questions #tag games #this was really fun!

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ilovefandoms102 · 4 years

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Part 5- Shape of My Heart

Pairing: Rudy Pankow x Plus Size Reader

Summary: Falling in love with someone you can never have is the worst feeling in the world...

Taglist:

@jeyramarie @drewswannabegirl @teamnick @jiaraendgame @agirlwholovescoffee @outerbongs @jaxxandcomet @velyssaraptor @baby-pogue @they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon @must-be-a-weasley-92 @kaitieskidmore1 @ma10427 @ifilwtmfc @lasnaro @justcallmesams @judayyyw @lonely-kermit @gviosca @iamaunicorn4704 @jellyfishbeansontoast @fernweh-fangirl @runway-to-my-aid @eb15 @hurricane-abigail @tangledinsparkles @fandom-phaser @sunwardsss @http-cherries @bibliophilewednesday @evaporatedrosepetals @thetomatosaucee @tomatosauceagent @redosmo @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch

Part 4 Part 6

Note: School is starting for me which means I more than likely won’t get to update as often, but I am still going to try! I hope you guys enjoy and let me know what you think!

================================

Rudy was wrapped around me like a koala bear, soft snores falling from his lips. The sun was shining through the curtains, a perfect day to go swimming. Luckily since I had met them all at the beach, they had already seen me in a bathing suit. I tried to extract myself from my current position, but Rudy’s hold tightened on me the more I moved. I huffed, debating on just waking him up. I tried one more time, a groan sounding from the man next to me.

“Stop moving,” he whined, his deep morning voice sending chills all over me.

“It’s prime tanning time Ru, let me up.” I chuckled.

“I’m comfy,” he mumbled, cuddling further into me.

“We have plenty of days to be lazy, come on.” I encouraged, patting his shoulder.

He huffed dramatically, flipping off of me. I jumped up, filing through my stuff to get my bikini. I jumped when I turned around, not expecting Rudy to be right behind me. He stared into my eyes, making me a bit nervous. He pulled me into a hug, laying his head on my shoulder.

“I’m tired.” he grumbled, his lips brushing my skin.

“You don’t have to come with me if you want to sleep.” I offered, rubbing his naked back.

“I don’t want to be by myself.” he complained, moving to kiss where his lips hit my skin.

I froze in place, not sure what to do now. I was confused, scared, and now horny. I shuffled lightly in his hold, trying to act like what he did wasn’t affecting me in a major way. He sighed, pulling away. I smiled as I trekked to the bathroom, millions of thoughts racing in my head.

====================================

Maddie C and Chase were already out in the pool when Rudy and I came down, Chase begging Maddie to get in with him. I threw my towel down on the chair, busting out some tanning oil spray. With the help of Maddie, I doused myself to hopefully bring some color to my pale features. Back home the weather couldn’t seem to make up its mind, sometimes being really hot one day then freezing the next. I sat down on the chair, my legs on either side as I scrolled through my phone for a minute. Rudy sat on the open space, looking at me expectantly.

“What?” I laughed.

“You did not drag me from my peaceful slumber to just sit here, get in the pool.” he commanded, pointing at where Chase was standing.

“I want to lay out for a little bit,” I scoffed, moving my legs to his lap since he wouldn’t move.

“Baby, get in the pool now!” he exclaimed, a grin coming to his face.

“Oh my god if you’ll shut up!” I huffed, glaring at him as he cheered.

I dipped my toe in the water, surprised that the water was actually warm. I felt Rudy’s presence behind me again, his hands gripping my hips.

“Don’t you dare!” I hissed, whipping around to grab his wrists.

“What? I’m not doing anything.” he innocently tilted his head.

“I’m getting in, don’t fucking push me.” I giggled.

“You mean, like this?” he questioned, taking a head start to push both of us in the pool.

I resurfaced, pushing my wet hair back. Rudy came up a second later, wisely he swam a little ways towards the deeper end of the pool. I turned around, deciding to give him the silent treatment. Chase and Maddie were cackling at us, Maddie gripping her stomach from how hard she was laughing. I swam to the shallow side, purposefully not looking at Rudy.

“You’re in trouble now Ru,” Chase grinned, quirking a brow.

“I’m hungry, you guys ok with me running to McDonald’s?” she asked, earning a nod from me.

Chase and her headed out, leaving just Rudy and I. I heard him swim closer to me, I made sure to keep myself from looking at him. He stood in front of me, my eyes casting down into the pool. I pouted, hoping he would feel bad.

“Are you really not talking to me?” he asked, silence from my end.

“Y/n...babe, talk to me. I’m sorry.” he whined, flopping himself in my arms.

I didn’t move though, trying my hardest to not smile. He wrapped himself around me like a child, not letting go of me even when I tried to pry his arms away. He buried his head in my neck, crying dramatically.

“Baby I’m sorry, please talk to me!” he cried, I couldn’t contain my smile anymore.

I busted out laughing, throwing my head back. He pulled his head back to grin at me, his eyes shining in the sun. I caught his gaze, the both of us going silent. Rudy stood to his full height, caging me in by putting his arms on either side of me. My breath hitched in my throat, having to lean my head back since he towered over me. He leaned closer, forehead coming to rest on mine. Our lips just brushed together when a voice sounded out.

“Hope we aren’t interrupting!” Maddie B yelled, her girlfriend Mo and JD trekking behind her.

“I was wondering when I would see your face JD,” I chuckled, swimming closer to the edge where they were.

“We missed you at dinner last night man.” Rudy spoke, bro hugging JD.

“Glad you could make it college girl!” JD smiled.

“Hey girlie long time no see!” Mo greeted, leaning down to hug me.

“So glad to see you Momo,” I grinned.

JD and Rudy ended up getting in a major splash war, which gave me enough time to escape the water so I could lay out for at least a few minutes. I chatted with the girls, Maddie C and Chase coming back finally. Maddie C passed out our food, Chase joining Rudy and JD.

“So y/n, what was that we walked in on?” Maddie B asked, Mo wriggling her brows.

“Nothing,” I murmured.

“Wait, what?” Maddie C inquired.

“That was not nothing and you know it.” Mo inputed.

“Ok...we might have almost kissed, but I think it was just an in the moment kind of thing.” I shrugged.

“Y/n, stop being so delusional.” Maddie C ordered, as if it could just be that easy.

“You guys just don’t get it.” I murmured, my mood taking a huge downfall.

“Then help us understand,” Maddie B said, placing her hand on my arm comfortingly.

“I was bullied...for my entire life because I’m not thin. Never had a boyfriend, never even kissed a guy, and I’m just scared. I’m scared it’s too good to be true, and Elaine seems to have something for Rudy anyways...I don’t want to get in the middle of that.” I rambled.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that. You know you’re one of our best friends, every single person here loves you. You are beautiful y/n, if anything you’re way out of Rudy’s league.” Maddie B informed, Maddie C and Mo agreeing.

“Our lives wouldn’t be the same without you y/n, I think you have a killer bod babe. I’m sure Rudy thinks the same or he wouldn’t stare at you all the time.” Maddie C giggled.

“Thank you guys, I just don’t want to read too much into things...I don’t want to get my hopes up. My heart’s been broke too many times I don’t think I could handle it, especially with Rudy. I couldn’t bear to lose him...” I sighed, looking at the boys who were wrestling each other.

“Are you ladies just going to sit there all day?” JD shouted, splashing water at us.

“We’re talking shit about you all.” I laughed.

“That’s not surprising, that’s all you girls do.” Chase scoffed, running his hand through his wet hair.

“After I took care of you last night...that’s a low blow babe.” Rudy sighed, shaking his head. JD quirked a brow at his friend, looking to Chase. The man shook his head, I guess signalling he didn’t know what was going on.

“That’s what you get for taking up the whole bed.” I smirked, a mock offended expression on Rudy’s face.

“I’ll remember this,” he nodded.

“Oh come on guys, we don’t want to hear about you all doing the nasty.” Maddie C groaned, both Rudy and I’s cheeks turning a bright red.

“It wasn’t like that.” I griped, shoving her slightly.

Chase used the moment we were distracted to snatch Maddie C up and throw her in the pool, a scream escaping her as she hit the water. I cracked up as I watched them play fight in the water. I started to get hot, the LA sun taking its toll. I sat on the edge, my legs dangling in the pool. Rudy swam closer to me, standing between my legs.

“Get in with me,” he pleaded, tugging on my arms.

“I will, just give me minute to get used to the water Ru.” I giggled.

We swam for hours, my chest hurting from how much I had laughed. It distracted me from my internal thoughts about what happened earlier with Rudy almost kissing me. I wondered if he really did like me, or if this was some kind of game. I didn’t think Rudy was the type for games so I scratched that off my mental list, but I just couldn’t fathom how he could possibly have feelings for me.

==================================

All of us somehow ended up in my room, scrolling on the TV to find a movie. We had just about everything from Chase’s pantry on the bed, drinks sitting on the end tables. JD wanted to watch a scary movie, the girls protesting against it. Call me weird, but I loved scary movies. The thrill always excited me, so his choice didn’t phase me at all.

“Y/n, you’re our guest.” Chase said, everyone looking to me.

“I love scary, but if no one else wants to watch it I’m cool with whatever.” I shrugged.

The guys cheered, JD choosing Insidious, one of my all time favorites. Rudy cuddled me close to him, his eyes intently focusing on the screen. I had seen the movie millions of times, so the jump scares didn’t get to me anymore. I cackled when one of the girls would scream, or the guys would shout. Rudy hid his face in my neck at some parts, his hold on me tightening. Once the ending credits rolled, we put on a Disney movie to calm everyone’s nerves. My eyes began to droop, my head falling on Rudy’s chest. He played with my hair, his soft movements lulling me to sleep.

“You ever gonna grow some balls bro?” Chases asked.

“I don’t even know if she likes me back man,” Rudy sighed.

“You all are so perfect for each other, better shoot your shot before it’s too late.” Maddie C spoke.

“Yeah I guess you’re right, I’ve made it so blatantly obvious, but she doesn’t seem to respond.” he rambled.

“Talk to her about it, not gonna hurt anything to have that communication.” Maddie B said.

“I think I might just do that, I can’t wait any longer for her to catch the hint.” he sighed.

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hwasasgoblin · 3 years

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My Type

Pairing: Shownu x Female reader

Genre: Fluff

Warning: Alcohol mention(?) I don’t know if it’s needed but I’ll put this in here just in case.

Words: 2.7k

A/N: So this is mostly inspired by and based off a scene on episode 12 of Introverted/Shy Boss, some things are exactly as they happened on the show and some are my own. I had been meaning to write it for a long time because ever since I watched the drama the male lead always reminded me of baby Nunu, and my birthday was on February 4th(long time ago I know ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ) so that's when I decided to indulge myself by writing this but it took me longer than I expected.

Shownu was sitting on his bed with his back on the headrest reading a book when he heard the door close. You two met in your senior year in high school. You were the genius student who had skipped two grades. Almost everyone ignored you for being a “child”, or too “precocious”. You had a group project and the rest is history. You’ve been best friends ever since so of course you had his apartment’s passcode. "Aish, this girl" He said getting up from the bed annoyed. He was making his way out of the room when he noticed you with tear filled eyes and a suitcase. “Wha...” He said while freezing on the spot. You were sobbing and ran to hug him. At first he was a bit startled, but as he noticed you started crying he wrapped his arms around you. When you had calmed down he took you to the living room while he went to the kitchen and made some tea for you. "Are you feeling better now?" He said as he handed you a cup with tea. You only nodded and smiled a little. "Then you should go home" "Do I have to?" You asked while pouting. "Yes" He answered while mimicking your gesture. You were about to get up and leave when you saw the door open. "Hyunwoo-ah" She stopped on her tracks. "Oh, I didn't know you were here, Y/n. You said you were alone" She said a bit surprised. "Is this why you wanted me to go home?" You asked. “Ae-Ri, you… you didn’t say you’d come” Said Shownu clearly nervous. “I didn’t expect you to be with another woman making her cry. By the way, what was going on? Was he dumping you, Y/n? Then I’ll leave you to it” Said Ae-Ri. “Yaah, I didn’t make her cry” Answered Shownu and took a sip from his tea. “Then I guess you weren’t getting dumped” She said. “Why would I be getting dumped? We’re just friends” You answered. “Oh yeah, definitely. Well, since you weren’t getting dumped, why don’t the three of us drink together?” She said shaking the wine bottle on her hand. “The three of us?” Asked Shownu. “Can’t we?” She asked back. “Y/n should go. It’s late” Shownu suggested. “Really? I’ll appreciate it then.” To say Ae-Ri was making you jealous was an understatement. And to see Shownu also trying to get rid of you did nothing more than fuel the jealousy inside you. “No, it’s still early. Let’s drink wine together.” You answered. You and Ae-Ri walked to the dining table and sat across each other. "Ok, this is how it's going to work. We'll drink a little and go separate ways." Said Shownu setting three wine glasses and some snacks on the table. "Agreed?" He asked and you both nodded. Then he sat down next to Ae-Ri. "See Y/n, Shownu sat next to me" She said being cocky. "Let's drink." You answered while trying to open the bottle. "Let me do it. Give it to me." Shownu said after seeing you struggling with the corkscrew. "Hyunwoo is so sweet, isn't he? He's thoughtful nice and good-looking. He's even good at sports." "Yaah, why would you say that with me sitting next to you?”He said giving you an awkward smile. “Sometimes it’s annoying that he’s too quiet, but I find it very sexy” She said grabbing Shownu’s arm. “Sexy? Stop it.” Said Shownu pouring the wine on the glasses. “We’re fighting over you, in case you haven’t noticed” Said Ae-Ri. “Stop joking around. Enough.” Answered a flustered Shownu. “I’m serious. Y/n don’t you think we make a better couple?” “God, damn it. If only I was a bit shorter.” Shownu laughed and you glared at him. Now it’s your time for revenge. “Right! His first love. Is that you?” You pointed at Ae-Ri. Shownu choked on his wine. “I guess it’s her. Is she the one who rejected you? I see” You said grinning. “The incident from college?” Ae-Ri asked a bit confused. “Don’t tell her. Shush.” “What is it? What is it that you two know and I don’t? You’re making me curious.” You pleaded.

“Then you should tell me something you two know, but I don’t. How far have you two gone?” “Aishhh, what are you asking?” Shownu replied. “I’m just curious. When did your taste change so… abruptly?” Is she implying that I’m not Shownu’s type? “You know, I wasn’t going to say this. We’ve actually slept together… like a lot of times” In that moment Shownu almost spat his wine. “Ah, I guess you just slept then” Shownu nodded. “Really? I guess it’s true.” You all kept drinking in silence for some time.

After some time you were all a little tipsy and Ae-Ri blurted. “How can a man and a woman sleep together and do nothing else? Several times at that?” “It’s because we’re friends”Said Shownu. “Yeah, sure. You can’t actually expect me to believe that you have never felt something… anything for one another” “Ae-Ri-ssi…” You said. “Ae-Ri-ssi? Ae-Ri-ssi? Yaah Y/n, it’s Ae-Ri unnie or just unnie. I’m older than you, aigoo.” “But you’re only two years older, and so is Hyunwoo and I don’t call him oppa” You refuted. “I bet he’d like that” She whispered and Shownu blushed. “I’m sorry what was that?” You asked as you didn’t understand. “I was saying that Hyunwoo is your best friend so he might be ok with it, but we’ve seen each other 3-4 times at most? Maybe when we get to know each other better, for now I’ll be unnie.” She said. “Sorry unnie.” You apologized and thanked that she got distracted and forgot her question. “It’s ok, but you won’t get away with diverting the topic. Now, I want you two to be completely honest with me here, if you’re not I’ll kick both your asses. Besides, by the time we’re done with the beers and soju there’s no way you’ll remember anything we talked about today.” She said pointing to the bottle and cans that she had gotten out of the fridge not long ago when you ran out of wine. “Rock, paper, scissors to see who goes first?” You were kinda drunk as you three had already downed half a bottle of soju. But still, there was no way you’d share your feelings first, not without knowing how Shownu felt. “1…2……3!… Yayyy I won!” Shownu exclaimed clapping like a little kid. Yep, he’s definitely drunk. "2 out of 3?" You played again and this time you won. "Last one. 1, 2, 3!” He counted and you closed your eyes. You didn’t want to see the moment you lost because with your luck you’ll definitely lose. “Aish, ok I’ll go first” You opened your eyes and saw Shownu with his hand on a fist while you had put out paper, which meant you won. It was impossible, you had never, in the 5 years you’ve known each other, won against Shownu on the last round. Still, you didn’t think too hard about it because it meant you were safe for a little longer. Shownu poured a full glass of soju and drank it as if his life depended on it. As if he was seeking encouragement from the beverage. “I…” Shownu said. “You…?” Asked Ae-Ri. “I…liiiiiike…” And he fell asleep face down on the table. “Aish, why would he gulp down that glass of soju.” You said slightly annoyed at the fact that your empathy won’t let you leave him sleeping there. You struggled for a bit trying to help him to his bed, but realized that you wouldn't be able to do it alone. "Unnie..." You said nudging Ae-Ri. "What?" She answered uninterested. "Unnie, can you please help me take Hyunwoo to his bed?" You said putting on your best puppy face. "Okay, I'll help you. Aigoo, why is he so heavy?" She exclaimed. “Hyunwoo… Nunu, you’ve got to help us here, please try to walk, we’re not far from bed.” You pleaded softly as you both took Shownu’s arms and helped him up. After some struggle you somehow managed to get him in his bed. “Thank you Unnie, you should go home now, it’s pretty late. Can I call you a driver? Or a taxi?” You offered. All that struggle had sobered you up and now you were worried about Ae-Ri. “Don’t worry, I had already requested one. Thanks anyway. What about you? Are you sleeping over?” She asked curious. “Yes, I can’t go home drunk after what happened this afternoon, please text me as soon as you get home.” “Ok, I’ll leave then. My taxi is here.” She said and left.

“Hyunwoo…” You tried to wake him up. He grunted and turned. “Nunu… I’m taking your jacket off, I need you to sit for a moment.” You said. He nodded and you helped him sit and take his jacket off. “Y/n” He said grabbing your arm. “What is it? Are you ok? Do you want to throw up?” You asked worried. “Yes, I’m okay. I mean besides being drunk, like really drunk.” He replied. “Then what is it?” “I-I want to tell you something. And I need to do it now so I can blame it on the alcohol and we can both pretend it never happened.” He muttered. “Okay, I’m listening” You answered a bit uneasy. “I like you” “Awee, I like you too” You replied, unaware of what was going on. “No, Y/n. I like you. Like in an I’d like to date you way.” He said hiding against his pillow. “So you decided to answer Ae-Ri’s question right now? Let’s go to sleep now and later you can confess to me again, okay? I can’t deal with a drunk confession being as wasted as I am and I need you to be sober to deal with the aftermath.” You answered and laid down next to him, only to notice he was already asleep. “Aigoo, what am I going to do with you?” You shifted on the bed for a bit and fell asleep.

You woke up with a headache so you went straight to the kitchen to drink some water. There you found Shownu looking for something. “Morniiiing, did you sleep well? What are you looking for?” You asked startling him. “Oh! Good morning Y/n, yes I slept like I baby. I have a bit of a headache though, so I was looking for some medicine.” “I have a headache too.” You said pouring some water. “Should we make some hangover soup?” He said opening the fridge. “Sure, do you need help?” “Could you please dice the beef?” He instructed while cutting the vegetables. “Sure. Anything else I can help with?” You asked. “Yes. I need to talk to you about something. But first let’s finish the soup, I need your undivided attention.” You kept chopping the beef and passed it to Shownu. He put it on the pot alongside the vegetables and waited for it to cook. When the soup was ready he served it and you both ate in silence.

“Ok, now I’m going to need you to put all your attention in me.”He spoke as he noticed you were both done. As soon as he uttered those words you knew he remembered everything you talked about last night. “Y/n, I like you. And before you say anything, I completely understand if you don’t feel the same way and I hope nothing changes. I don’t want to lose my best friend.” He said blushing. “Nunu, I promise you won’t lose me. But I can’t promise you that things won’t change between us.” He looked at you confused. “What do you mean?… Please let’s forget I ever said anything and act like nothing happened.” He pleaded panicking. “Hyunwoo, calm down.” “How can you ask me that? Life gave me a second chance yesterday and I just had to waste it. Aish, me and my big mouth. Pabo, pabo, Hyunwoo.” He said while slapping himself. You grabbed his hand. “Hyunwoo stop! I like you too.” You said intertwining your fingers with his. “Really?” He asked incredulous. “Yes. I mean how could I not?” “But I’m not even your type.” Shownu was confused. “So what’s my type then?” You inquired. “First of all you like tall guys…” “What, like you’re short?” “Well, no but you’ve always dated these almost 2 meters giants so I just assumed...” “Well, you assumed wrong. I do like my men tall but, since I’m tall myself, the height difference doesn’t have to be a lot, they just have to be taller than me. It was just a huge coincidence.” “You like sociable talkative guys with double eyelids.” “What? Are you for real?” You asked surprised by the lack of confidence. Shownu always struck you as the guy who wasn’t a narcissist but had a pretty high self-esteem. “Yes, all the guys you have dated had double eyelids and were probably acquainted with half of Seoul” He said. “How does being social have anything to do with having double eyelids.” “I don’t know, I’m just stating the facts.” “I see… So your conclusion is that you can’t be my type because you’re not like the people I’ve dated? Have you ever thought why I broke up with them?” “Hmm, no. But still, you don’t seem bothered by that kind of guys, you always date them.” He shrugged. “You are so wrong my dear Hyunwoo, so so wrong. Because, you see… You’re just my type. The reason I broke up with all of them is because of you. Because I wanted them so badly to be like you, I would be so disappointed when I realized that they’d never be.” “Why did you never tell me?” “Because I wasn’t your type, and I don’t blame you. How could I? I was your tall best friend. Your younger tall best friend. Nothing like those short cute noonas you dated.” “Hey, you know I don’t mind you being tall. You also know that I don’t focus on things such as age.” “So you would date a minor?” You asked jokingly. “Aish, you know that’s not what I meant. What I meant is that I focus more on how a person behaves and interacts with others rather than minding if they’re older or younger, or if they’re tall or short. And you little missy are one of the best human beings I know. You’re kind, you’re loyal, you treat people with fairness and you’ve got so much love to give to everyone around you. That’s why you’re exactly my type.” He said looking into your eyes. “I have 2 questions” You said. “Go ahead.” He replied and gestured for you to go on. “You let me win rock, paper, scissors, right?” “You knew?” “I have never, and I really mean never in the 5 years we’ve known each other, won the last round on rock, paper, scissors against you.” You emphasized. “You’re really predictable when it comes to it, to be fair. What’s the second?” He asked. “Does this mean we’re dating?” “Only if you want to.” He answered. You ran to the room and came back with your cellphone. “What are you doing?” “Oh, I’m just texting Ae-Ri unnie that she can no longer flirt with you since you’re mine now.” You answered unlocking your phone. He laughed and hugged you because that was answer enough for him.

#kpop scenarios #shownu #shownu scenarios #monsta x scenarios #kpop fluff #monsta x fluff #shownu fluff #son hyunwoo #monbebe #monsta x

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sarcastic-sunshines · 3 years

Text

Letters for my Love - Chapter 9

Pairing: T’Challa x Black Reader

Chapter 1 I Chapter 2 I Chapter 3 I Chapter 4 I Chapter 5 I Chapter 6 I Chapter 7 I Chapter 8

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Chapter 9

My Love,

By the grace of Bast alone, I am a Baba to an 18 year old, quite frankly, she is an adult now. Nono’s 18th birthday seems to be filled with reflection, not for her, but mostly for me. Of course her birthday always signifies how long we have been without you. It is crazy to think how time has passed, how when I first held that little baby girl in my hands, I was unsure of how I would heal myself enough to be the father she was deserving of. Now here she is, a week away from going across the country for university. Though she grew up right in front of me, I am still left with shock at the not so little girl that stares back at me. Her smile has not changed since she was born, her whole face actually belongs to you. One could argue I had no part in the matter of her creation. It's astonishing sometimes to see, I find myself having to take a moment in case I call her the wrong name.

But here she is, making lists and picking courses and I am once again left to deal with how a milestone in my daughter's life means a change in my own. And as much I have prepared myself, or thought I had, I am sure I will cry when we finally have to drive away and I have to leave her there. We have never been apart for longer than three weeks. Even then, I spoke to her for two hours everyday, considering it was my honeymoon, Akina was not as impressed.

But university will most likely not allow for that, and now I feel the separation anxiety kicking in. I am trying to put on a brave face for her. She is so excited and no matter how old she gets, if my excitement does not match hers, she begins to question herself. Her only nervousness lies in the fact that Chima, her boyfriend, will be going to a school here in the city. He has been over more than usual, and unfortunately the high emotions are making them bicker more as well. It reminds me of when we chose to break up when it was my turn to go off to school. Well you made the decision and I reluctantly agreed. At that age, that felt like the hardest thing I would ever have to do. But I now appreciate you making that decision, it allowed me to do some growing up and to confirm what I already knew, that you were the one for me.

Your daughter on the other hand, is determined to make this work long distance. Chima does not seem as enthused. But like you, Nono is very convincing and has somehow continued to push the narrative that this will work. And I pray it does because I am not ready to see her experience heartbreak. This as always, will be a journey and I ask you to watch over us as we go through this new walk of life.

Yours Forever,

T’Challa

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T’Challa looked around the room, boxes of his daughter’s life that sat in front of him, ready to be packed up and taken with her as she left their home for the first time. His eyes moved from the boxes to his daughter, who sat on the ground of her room running through a list on her beads.

“ Did you hear what I said Baba?” T’Challa realized she had been calling for him a while.

“ I’m sorry Nono I got distracted, what did you say darling” he turned his body to his daughter.

“ I was saying, I don’t think I can take everything so maybe you all could send some more of my things later”

“ Nobomi, I have watched you pack endless suitcases of clothes and Bast knows what else, what else could you possibly need?”

“ Well I haven’t even packed my books yet” she snorted at her father’s frown.

“ That should have been number one, maybe Chima can bring them when he comes and sees you in a few weeks” Nono’s face dropped before she tried to hide her frustration.

“That’s not happening anymore” T’Challa just looked at her waiting for her to go further. “ We just decided that we may need more than a few weeks to get used to being in uni. So I will see him when the semester is over.”

T’Challa nodded slowly, hoping his face stayed neutral to not show how he really felt about his daughter’s relationship.

“ Well, I think I have a conference in a few weeks close to your campus. So maybe I can come by with whatever you need. And perhaps you will have time for lunch with your Baba.”

Nono smiled at her Baba before answering. “ I’ll always find time for you, Baba”

“ I’m glad, I know how busy university can get darling, I’m really going to miss you Nobomi.”

Despite his best attempt, a solemn smile rested on his face. Nobomi felt herself getting emotional just looking at him.

“ Baba no! We agreed you are allowed to get emotional tomorrow and tomorrow only”, she said, blinking quickly to stop her own tears before they came. She had refused to address it, but she was going to miss her family a lot.

She thought about how different her brother would look by the time she came back after the semester. Bulelani was already growing so fast. She would miss her late night chats with Akina, and of course, she was going to miss her Baba the most. She had never been without him for so long. And as much as she had raved about her new independence, she was going to miss the first best friend that the world gave her. She wasn’t sure how she was going to cope, she was equally excited and nervous.

“ You are right, we will save the dramatics for tomorrow, just know I am excited for you, and I cannot wait to hear about everything you learn and get to experience” he walked over and kissed the top of her head before deciding it was time for him to leave her to her packing.

“ And make sure your books end up in one of the boxes, please and thank you”

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The flight to Nobomi’s school was too short for T’Challa’s liking. They had left quite early, and Nobomi had slept on his shoulder the whole way there. So rarely would moments like that happen anymore and he didn’t want it to end. Meanwhile Akina had been taking pictures and recording every moment since they got up.

“ Are you ever going to stop recording love?” He asked as she appeared with her wrist pointed at him once again.

“ Not until the end of the day, I need to make sure I catch every single tear.” she said with smirk

“ You act like this will not be you when Lani is no longer small enough for you to carry”

“ I still have about 10 years” She took a seat next to T’Challa. Nono stirred in her sleep from the chatter. T’Challa watched for a moment as she settled back comfortably.

“ I promise you, the time flies, before you know it, they are not little anymore.” he said quietly, turning back to his wife. Akina took his hand into hers.

“ I know, but I will have you to hold me, just like you have me today. I know this is going to be hard for you, so don’t hesitate to lean on me.” he nodded, not wanting to speak in case every emotion he was feeling came flying out. He knew Akina was aware of how grateful he was for her. Bast had really blessed him to experience love twice and he couldn’t be more thankful for it.

The jet had landed and Nobomi finally lifted her head, looking out the window at what would be her new home away from home.

Okoye rose from the pilot’s seat, with Nobomi’s dora beside her. “ It is time my King”

He nodded as the door opened, followed by the King's Guards running in to carry the boxes and suitcases. Not long after, Nobomi and her brother followed with Akina next to them. He stayed behind, trying to believe that if he stayed on board, time may slow down for a second. He gave himself a second before finally following everyone out the door.

The day continued to go by quickly, finding Nono’s apartment style accommodation had been beyond easy. It helped that everyone knew the crowned princess was arriving. The royals quickly met Nono’s best friend and roommate Fatou, who had gotten there an hour before them. The two girls buzzed around with their mothers, decorating the apartment and placing everything where it needed to be. T’Challa tried to offer his services but was quickly sent off with Fatou’s father to find lunch.

The two men strolled the campus, with Bulelani running ahead of them, discussing how the girls had been together most of their lives and how strange it was to see them going off to school. Both father’s were proud but the nerves were there.

“ I promise you it doesn’t get easier. Fatoumata is my second last and it still feels as it did when her eldest brother first left home”

“ And here I thought it would be better by the time Lani went off to school” The men chuckled as they made their way back to the apartment building. He had become aware of the stares and whispers and began to hope that Nono would not have to endure the same experience throughout her whole university career.

“ Unfortunately no, but like with everything else in their lives, you push them to do their best and smile when they succeed, and be there to catch them in case they fall” Fatou’s father offered with a smile as the two men walked into the building.

They had lunch together, and it had become obvious both Nobomi and T’Challa could tell the hours were winding down. They took a final tour of the campus and very soon they were walking back to the front of Nono's building to say goodbye. The father-daughter pair had linked arms as T’Challa offered any last advice he could think of.

“ You can come home whenever you need to, just call me and Ayo will be here to get you in no time”

“ But she won’t need it because Nono is going to have so much fun” Akina yelled behind her, making Nono laugh. T’Challa rolled his eyes with a smile before continuing.

“ Don’t forget to call, no matter where I am in the world, I want to hear from you”

“ Okay Baba, I will I promise” she let go of his arm to say goodbye to Akina. She gave her step-mother a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“ Don’t forget to call me too, alright sweetheart. Our late night conversations do not have to end just because you are away” Nobomi nodded with a smile before kneeling in front of her brother.

“ Don’t grow up too fast, okay Lani”

“ I won’t, I’m gonna miss you sissy” Nono finally felt the emotions coming in. T’Challa turned away from his children, not wanting to cry.

“ I’m going to miss you too. I will call you as much as I can. I love you” She hugged her brother tight, kissing his cheeks as many times as he would allow her. She eventually stood up and faced her father who had finally turned back to his family.

“ Lani, let’s go get into the jet, ” Akina said softly, as she led their son down the path kissing T’Challa before leaving him and Okoye.

T’Challa looked behind to see them walking away, before walking toward Nobomi with a small smile. He took her hands into his, before reaching up and smoothing down a few hairs that had escaped her bun. He held his hand to her cheek trying to hold himself together. He was so proud of who she was becoming. He never wanted her to think she couldn’t go and discover new parts of the world by herself. This was part of her journey and he knew she needed it, so remembering that, his smile extended further.

“ Your mother would be so proud of you” He saw Nono’s lip quiver.

“ You think so?”

“ I know so, because I am so proud of you. And although I am going to miss you so much, I am overjoyed by this new milestone you are about to embark on”

“ Baba, I am a little scared, I can’t lie”

“ Being scared just means you care, you will be fine. And if you need to hear that again, I am a phone call away. You know that.” he reached over and wiped the tear off of Nono’s face.

He was shocked at how well he was keeping it together when it felt like half his heart was being left in a strange place.

“ I am going to miss you so much.” and with that, his daughter had unlocked the floodgates, a tear escaped his eye before he could catch it. They both turned to see Fatou waiting for Nono at the door.

His little girl gave him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek making him smile. “I love you Baba”

He thought about how she had done the same thing all those years ago on her first day of school. How afraid he was, and how he didn’t want to let her go. Now here he was having to do the same thing, except his Nobomi was not as little anymore.

“I love you more” and with that, she pulled away turning to meet Fatou at the door. Nobomi turned once more time to wave goodbye to her Baba. T’Challa waved goodbye before catching a singular tear that had fallen.

“Are you okay Kumkani” Okoye asked

“No, but I will be,” He said, turning to go back down the path to the jet.

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My Love,

To say watching our daughter walk into that school was easy would be a huge lie. It took everything in me to watch her go off and create memories without me. But it had to be done and I am so proud of her.

I know you were watching over her as she navigates this new milestone. A milestone that she is enjoying if I may add. The first week was hard, she called everyday, often with nothing to say, but just to hear our voices. But now we are down to three calls a week, and I can’t get her to stop talking about everything she is doing. All these years later and every story still begins with ‘Fatou and I’. I can hear the smile in her voice whenever she calls, and it brings me comfort to know she is okay.

I am sure when I see her in a few weeks she will seem different to me. Only six weeks would have gone by at that point but university does that to you. I remember calling you and realizing that you were different from the girl I had left and was ready to rediscover who you were when I returned home. I also will finally get to ask about Chima. She doesn’t talk about him as much anymore and I fear that is the beginning of the end. I really did like him too. But as people grow it is not shocking that they grow apart. Not everyone can be us. Either way, I ask that you continue to watch over her and help her through any emotions she hasn’t been able to come to me with.

Yours Forever,

T’Challa

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T’Challa waited outside the library as Nobomi had instructed him. He sat on a bench with a box of her things he had promised to bring. He waved at students who were shocked to see their King sitting ever so casually on their campus. He didn’t think too much about it, he was just excited to see his daughter.

Her absence was felt at home by everyone, especially him. And although they spoke often, he couldn’t wait to be able to hug her and check up on her in person. He saw her leaving the building and walking faster when she eventually caught his eye. He couldn’t help but to stand up and smile as his daughter finally entered his arms.

“ Hi Baba, I missed you” She whispered into his shoulder. He pulled away and looked at his daughter properly.

“ I missed you too Nobomi wam” She looked a little tired, but he wanted to believe that was from studying and endless nights out on the town. They turned to begin heading to lunch. As they walked Nobomi talked his ear off about the overload of work she had and some of the fun she had been getting into. By the time they had finished eating, Nono had talked his ears off, only pausing to take bites of her food.

“ I was talking so much I forgot to ask about home. How is everyone?”

“ Everyone is fine, we all just miss you that’s all” he said reaching into a bag he had under the table.

“ Your brother told me it was of utmost importance that you received his drawings.”

“ Awww Lani is so sweet! I am going to make this the center of my picture wall” she smiled brightly pointing at her brother's drawing of the two of them.

“ And both your grandmothers and Akina all made sure I did not leave without several containers of food” Nono’s smile grew even more at the thought of home cooked food.

“ I am already hungry again thinking about all the foods I've missed. Especially Sunday dinner with my grandma”

“Yes, I do miss having her send leftovers for me” they both laughed before T’Challa continued.

“ Was Chima not supposed to drop something off for me to bring to you? Because he never came by.” He saw Nono’s fall, and suddenly she couldn’t seem to hide how she felt.

“ I don’t know, he has been kind of distant, and it seems like our schedules never match up. And when they do, he seems distracted and is really short with me.”

T’Challa felt bad, he knew Nono was starting to see the end. Something he had predicted for some time.

“ Well, I cannot justify his behaviour but you both are growing trying to figure out your new lives. It can be very difficult. What you can do is just hope for the best and try to hear each other out”

She nodded, staring at her cup of tea. T’Challa didn’t know what to say and decided to allow the silence to cover them.

“ What did you and mama do? You were all the way in America” Nono finally asked. T’Challa smiled before speaking.

“ Your mother actually broke up with me before I went off for school”

“ Really you never told me that”

“ I know, I don’t like to talk about the time we weren’t really together. Though it rarely felt like it. We spoke almost every day. “

“Then why did you break up, if you were going to be basically together anyway”

“Because, your mother was so certain it would be less painful this way. I tried to convince her otherwise. But if she was sure of something, very little changed her mind. She said, ‘what is mine will also come back to me. So if we are meant to be, I know you will come back to me”

“ Wow, mama sounds a little crazy” T’Challa laughed, shortly after Nono joined him.

“ At the time, I thought so too. I would tell her I was already hers and there was no need to worry but she insisted it was better this way. So I went off to school, and we didn’t speak for two months. I was experiencing so many new things that by the time two weeks had passed, the sole person I wanted to talk about it with was her”

He smiled at the memory, and looked over at his daughter's soft smile waiting for him to continue. He found she was always the most attentive when he spoke about her mother, and over the years it was the push he needed to talk about her more.

Nono had done a lot of prodding to get her Baba to open up about her mother, specifically their love story. She had heard so much about it from others, but it always sounded the best coming from her Baba. She could tell he still cared for her, she admired it and hoped that she would experience a love that strong. That's what she was hoping to recreate with Chima, but his recent shift in attitude made her feel as though it was no longer possible. His apathetic approach to their relationship had made her start to question her own feelings for him.

But hearing about the relationship that her parents shared always reminded her of what she was aiming for.

“ So I called her, and just hoped she would pick up, and when she did, it was like we picked up exactly where we left off. As friends though, she continued to insist that we needed the time apart. Though we spoke everyday, she was old fashioned so she would make me send postcards and letters and I learned over the years she kept them all.”

“ That’s sweet, so you both stayed single then and waited” T’Challa shook his head and Nono gasped.

“ She was the first one to find someone. I had actually heard from your uncle Erik that she was seeing someone and never told me. I cannot lie, the jealousy kicked in and I could barely think straight. Next time I spoke to her I picked a fight and she knew exactly what it was about and quickly reminded me that she wasn’t mine anymore”

“ Aww Baba” Nono looked at him sympathetically.

“Hold on, I am the winner in this story” he replied proudly.

“ Granted it took some time, she continued to see this man and I eventually found someone and when I brought up this person, I could see the jealousy all over your mother’s face.” he continued smugly. “ I must admit it was good to see, but I continued to date over the years. And so did she, but we both refused to stop being friends, or telling each other about our love lives. It was beyond immature looking back, we just were torturing the other and mostly ourselves.”

“So then how is that better than Chima and I just struggling through and figuring it out as we go?” Nono asked, taking a sip from her glass.

“ Because the difference was that by the time I graduated and came back briefly before grad school, I was older and more mature. We had experienced more and I was sure that she was who I wanted. Now imagine how awful long distance would have been for our two jealous souls. When I tell you any whisper from your uncle about who she was seeing was enough to ruin my day. It was better we didn’t labour each other with this misplaced jealousy.”

“ Now how did you know she was just as sure as you were?”

“ Because, the minute we were both single, the flirting began, especially when she knew I was coming home soon. All the signs were there, but of course that didn’t stop me from being nervous. But I knew how much I loved her, so I waited on her dorm door and when she opened it, I said, ‘I am yours and I have come back to you’

“ Oh my Bast, Baba you are so corny” Nono giggled as a goofy smile spread on her father’s face.

“ That may be true, but it worked. Besides, the only person that mattered appreciated it and we made it work, no matter the circumstance. The point being, you shouldn’t be afraid to maybe let go, it might be better for the both of you in the long run.”

“ And what if it isn’t?”

“ Then time will heal all your wounds, and you will eventually move on to experience many loves in your life.”

“ You think so?”

“ I know so, you my darling will never have to worry about that” he said with a comforting smile as he placed his hand over her protectively.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

T’Challa was surprised by how fast the rest of the semester had gone. After visiting Nobomi, the weeks seem to fly, and she was soon home again. Seeing as it was the Festival of Bast, Nobomi’s break had her running around Birnin Zana attending different celebrations with friends and sometimes family. T’Challa did wish he could have her all to herself, but he knew that couldn’t be the case, so he was grateful for the evenings when she was home and allowed him to enjoy her presence before she would return to her studies.

It hadn’t taken long, her time at home had gone from a few weeks to just a few days left. He had been walking around their home looking to see if she had time for dinner with him.

“ Have you seen Nobomi” he asked Akina, who seemed ready to go out herself. “ Where are you going?”

“ Which question would you like me to answer first?” she said as she applied lipstick.

“Either would work, have I told you how beautiful you look today” he said getting distracted by Akina’s beauty

“ Thank you love” she smiled, and blew him a kiss. “ Lani and I are going to go see my parents. As for Nono, I think she went out to see Chima.”

His face fell realizing she was busy. “ But that was a while ago, she may be back soon” Akina offered as comfort.

Their son came running into the room, growing impatient with waiting for his mother.

“ Lani, have you seen your sister.”

“ Yes, she is in the garden, Mama can we go now?” Akina nodded, she kissed her husband goodbye and began leading the 7 year old towards the door. T’Challa decided to walk towards the garden to look for Nobomi.

Before he could make it there, Nobomi’s Dora, stopped him in the hallway and let him know she was sitting in the room where all her mother’s things had been kept. He was a little surprised she was in there, but the look on the Dora’s face let him know all wasn’t well. He changed his direction and headed towards that section of the palace.

He knocked before entering but could not see her in the large room, he looked around the boutique like room. He hardly came here but whenever he did, the memories always hit him just as hard. Being there always felt like he could feel her presence more, he wasn’t sure if he was making that up, but he liked to think he wasn’t.

This time was no difference as he found his daughter sitting on the floor going through a box as she sniffled.

“ Nobomi wam, what’s wrong? Did something happen?” As he spoke, he recognized the stack of postcards in her hands. He couldn’t believe those were still here.

“ Chima cheated on me” she mumbled, she looked up and he could see her quivering lip as she tried to keep her sobs from coming out. He looked at her sympathetically before crouching down and sitting next to her. She immediately buried her face in his shoulder as the sobs finally took over her body. He turned to hug her, not speaking as she got everything out. Eventually she pulled away, wiping her puffy eyes, going back to flipping through the postcards.

“ Nono, I am sorry”

“ It explains why he had been so distracted. He said his feelings had changed and he didn’t want to miss the chance he would have with his new girl. If that was the case, he could have told me weeks ago. I wouldn’t have been trying so hard to save this sinking ship of a relationship.” she hiccuped.

“ I agree, it was quite selfish of him. But at least you know before leaving again and continuing a toxic pattern. It is okay to be hurt, but know one day you will wake up the heartbreak you feel will be gone”

“ I just want a love like you and Mama had. I want the love story, and I am already failing at that” T’Challa took the postcards from her hand and placed them back in the box. He hadn’t realised the expectations his daughter had placed on herself.

“ Nobomi, you do not have to emulate anything your mother and I had. That is not how it works”

“ I just want to experience a love like that.” she mumbled as he held her close.

“ And you will, but it will be on your own terms and based on the timeline Bast has for you. Do not stress yourself trying create what isn’t yours”

“ I thought Chima was mine, but I guess not. How am I even sure what is mine anymore”

“ You will know, it will feel right. There will be very few doubts, I can tell you that much. It will find you when you least expect it. Just allow yourself to heal first.”

“ How do you know? You married your high school sweetheart”

“ And we had our issues, and even bigger than that, I lost her when I still have so much love to give” That got Nono’s attention, she turned to see his sad smile.

“ I was beyond heartbroken, and I had you to think about. So I had no choice but to allow myself to heal. And as I did, many wanted me to take another queen, even when I knew I wasn’t ready. So I resisted and I was very picky with who I let near both me and you. I tried to not make the wrong decision and always felt unsure. But when I met Akina, there was no doubt in that. I recognized the feeling and knew she was the one.”

“ Just like that?” She raised an eyebrow, the way her father described love, this feeling, it always seemed to find him when he needed it the most. She hoped it would be just as easy for her. Right now it didn’t feel like it would.

“ Yes, I promise you will know as soon as you feel it. The doubts will be less, you will be more sure of yourself. Just do not give yourself a timeline that will only stress yourself out. Part of being human is finding love and experiencing heartbreak, so there is no need to feel like you need to be doing more.”

Nono picked up a picture of her parents from the box and stared intensely at it. T’Challa looked as well, he smiled at the sight of his soulmate.

“ What is mine will come to me?” Nono whispered, before resting her head back on his shoulder.

“ Yes, whoever is your is out there waiting for you to heal and Bast will eventually bring you both together. This I know, so you my darling will never have to worry” he kissed the top of her forehead and they sat in silence for a moment longer before he started describing the memories in the photos, knowing Nono would appreciate the slight shift in conversation.

They stayed in the room talking until her sniffles became giggles. His little girl was not so little anymore. Here she was going through growing pains right before his very eyes. He hated to see her go through heartbreak, and if he could bubble wrap her heart, he would. But he knew she would be a better person because of it. As afraid as he was to see her become her own woman, he was ready for whatever journey she chose to take, as long she still allowed him to hold her through it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Love,

Our daughter had quite an eventful first semester. I should not have expected any less if I am being honest. But of course, when it comes to our daughter, I am still so surprised and nervous by what happens to her. Here she is going through relationship issues. If someone had told me 18 years ago I would be sitting with her offering the best I have to deal with heartbreak, I may have laughed. Mostly because I would have wondered what the solution was as I healed through my own heartbreak. Back then I was more focused on making it through the first year, let alone the obstacles that came with the 18th.

But what all these years of being a father have shown me is that I am more than capable of navigating whatever comes in the path of my children. As long as they will have me, I will always be there to guide them, today proved that. I so badly wanted to find Chima and make him pay for ever breaking my baby girl’s heart. But instead I sat with her and just listened and I know that meant more to her than anything else. I know it didn’t fully take the pain away, but I am sure it helped, in addition to the trip to her favourite ice cream parlour after.

So when she goes back off to school in the upcoming days, and she gives me a hug goodbye, I will remind her that she always has me here to listen and support her through the heartbreaks of life. Because that is all I can really do at this point. There are no longer any monsters under her bed to chase away, even if there were, I have to allow her to try and get rid of them herself. She is her own person now and I thank Bast everyday for just the chance to see her become who she is. I know none of this is possible without you watching over us all these years. Neither I or Nono let your memory disappear. We did a good job with her, she is a perfect mix of both of us, and I know because of that she will be able to handle whatever life throws her way.

Yours Forever,

T’Challa

__________________________________________________________________

Taglist: @aloevverified @chaneajoyyy @shaekingshitup @ghostfacekill-monger @ashanti-notthesinger @fd-writes @abrunettefangirlnerd @yoyolovesbucky @toni9

#Letter's for my love #sunshinewrites #sarcasticsunshine #t'challa x reader

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marshmallowfin · 3 years

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Drag Race season 13 first impressions and vibes:

I do this every year and I know no one cares but here are my unwanted opinions.

Kandy Muse: Her reputation proceeds her...in a bad way. I've seen how hateful she can be online and I just can't look past it; I can just tell she's gonna annoy me until she goes home. The look however was cute and the lipsync was fun, I can tell she's talented. I wanna try and view her without bias but it's gonna be tough.

Joey Jay: I was excited for her during the promo but couldn't get past the entrance look. Really? The panty was cut too low cut, the feathers were cheep and falling apart, the hair was supposed to look wet but it just looked a mess, like she didn't have time to dry her hair before coming. Just came across so unpolished and because I only got to to see her for like a collective 15 minutes I was just unimpressed. Lipsync was unimpressive, Kandy really let her have it, the only thing I remember was her punching her tiddie and the feathers falling off all over the stage.

Denali: The look was so right, head to toe, but that contour was so rough it was distracting. She seemed fun, I can see her succeeding. Again, only getting a couple of minutes with her just really left me wanting more, it felt lacking. For someone who was on literal ice skates she was pulling some impressive stunts I honestly thought she might have the lipsync but I'm not mad at the Lala win. I'm honestly just really neutral on her. I did like when she flashed us, it's really the only thing I remember from the lipsync. (Also the repeat song? Hello? Iconic Coco Montrese lipsync from season 5? I clocked it.)

LaLa Ri: The look: pedestrian, didn't fit her in any way and was just so basic it was almost sad. Wish it were a full pant and the jacket was tailored to her. Also not everyone is able to wear those flat little wigs, wish she had teased it up. Her vibes? Her smile? Stunning. She seems so warm and friendly and kind. I want her to succeed but the ONE TIME I got to see her she looked... unimpressive. I don't remember a single think she did in the lipsync not gonna lie...

Symone: fully obsessed during the promo, so beautiful in and out of drag and her sense of style is so interesting to me. Entrence look was a little on the simple side but effective. She's also from the same area is me so I know people who know her and are fully obsessed. One of my tops for sure. The lipsync was good but I really thought Tamish let her have it. Not mad she won but I would have made it a double win. (Maybe after a night of just okay lipsyncs I'm grasping at the only one that made me excited.) Also, nothing to do with her but she's Gigi Goode's sister and Gigi is for sure talented and I really liked her for the majority of her season but she's made some choices in the have been confusing at best; I worry Symone might share some of those opinions. Here's hoping that just my paranoia.

Tamisha Iman: she came across as cookie cutter pageant girl (not that there's anything wrong with that) in her promo so I wasn't really excited for her. Very pleasantly surprised. She walked in in that red power suit and long black hair TIDDIES OUT: I was shaken. She also seems to just radiate good energy, I'm really liking her. She and Symone had the most entertaining lipsync of the night, it felt close (I do think Miss Tamish turned the party a little hard but not enough to call it rigged.) I am a little heartbroken they made her tell her cancer story episode one, immediately after getting there, she killed a lipsync, then was sent on her way, she was amicably calm tho. I really like her.

Gottmik: Another I was SUPER excited for during promos and she's really giving it too me. The look was so interesting and flattering and the face was to die for topped off by that perfect black hair. Dead and in the ground. Lipsync...left much to be desired. The song was a bop and my jaw dropped when it started but neither of them gave me what Rumors deserved. I loved both the queens so much though I almost didn't care...almost. Also FIRST FTM QUEEN EVER ON THE SHOW I'M SO JWBDJDIBEBSKDE AND IM SO HAPPY AND PROUD OF HIM. King shit never been more insane and proud to be cisn't.

Utica Queen: I CAN TELL THIS BITCH IS NEURODIVERGENT AND SO AM I!!! SAME HAT!!! I love a bitch who has a distinct aesthetic and lives on a completely different planet. Her promo look was my favorite, she's so striking and the crazy mad hatter look was EVERYTHING. Entrance look was equally crazy and somehow all worked (maybe not the strawberry but I still loved the strawberry). I thought she was so fun during the lipsync and I couldn't take my eyes off of her (again, that might be because I find her so striking) I honestly thought she would win but again the lipsync as a whole was a little underwhelming. Her sad face at the end of the episode broke my heart, this premier was a little cruel to the losers.

Rosé: not gonna lie, I was disappointed in Rosé. Her look was so crazy and cool for the promo and she came into the competition wearing a pink cropped biker jacket and panty? (The look was cute enough and I like the designer but it was so meh) The hair was lovely and I thought the missing tooth was funny, it was a shame she wiped it off before anyone could see it. I totally understand being bitter about hyping yourself up as a LIPSYNC QUEEN and a major nyc girl and so established especially compared to someone like Olivia who has only be doing drag for a year and a half..then you lose...and you assume you're going home first...I TOTALLY GET IT but the edit worked on me and I was like wow what a bitch. The only person who has claimed to be nyc royalty I actually vibed with was Peppermint, I think it's like an instant turn off for someone to say they're the best whatever of nyc. (Not that I dislike nyc girls, just the ones that claim to be hot shit.)

Olivia Lux: Sweet summer child. Precious baby angel. I found her so cute and charming and silly in her promo and she came in in that VELVET (?) HALF PINK HALF YELLOW GOWN WITH THE ROUGING and that BEAUTIFUL blonde hair that looked so good again her sink and the long as ponytail and the fucking waves like a designer Barbie fresh out the box, I'm living. Another one of my favorites, the energy is just so right and so there. Had my 2nd favorite lipsync of the night and I was so proud of her for besting Rosé, someone she clearly looks up too so much. I would LOVE for this bitch to win but I can tell she's gonna be a Miss Congeniality.

Tina Burner: I can tell this one is gonna annoy me. Again a nyc royalty claim which is an instant minus, the look was not it (I love the designer but the look was so wrong), the hair hat was fun in concept but that red hair just didn't look right on her, she was definitely giving me sexy hotdog ketchup and mustard fantasy, and I don't know why but her face is just kinda scary to me?? It like makes me feel like I'm going crazy. I didn't really like her in the promos either, she just comes across as really full of herself. I'm like instantly getting the worst vibes. I have seen people online saying she's really funny and turns the fucking party but I found the lipsync boring and hard to pay attention too. I've seen so many people saying she's IT so I want her to prove me wrong, make me eat my hat.

Kahmora Hall: So insanely beautiful, a WOMAN, how DARE SHE. She's our current reignings sister so she has huge shoes to fill and I'm ready for her to fill them. I actually kinda liked her lipsync, she was doing the damn thing in a gown which is impressive. Wish I had gotten a little more of her. I'm sorta neutral on this one too, nothing from her promo or literal 15 minutes if screen time really impressed me nor turned me off of her.

Elliott with 2 Ts: The second she said she was a "housewife with a secret" I was sold. Something about that instantly endeared her to me and have not been able to stop saying it since. I thought the red two piece was nice and the cropped jacket was fun but the hair was not right. I find her so pretty in like an alien way. I honestly thought her lipsync was the best and I found myself drawn to her but it's so hard to tell with more then 2 people. Promo look was very like cool mom and I vibe.

As a whole...a very underwhelming premier, especially after the last seasons. Seemed really rushed and unnecessarily cruel to the losing girls. Especially telling them they're all going home then saying they're not but they need to choose one queen from them to go home...I'm so worried they're all gonna take one look at Utica and be like 'get this weirdo out of here', if a single person picks her to "go home" I'll scream and cry and piss on the floor.

#rupaul's drag race #rpdr #rpdr s13 #marsh #kandy muse #joey jay #denali #lala ri #symone #tamisha iman #gottmik #utica queen #rosé #olivia lux #tina burner #kahmora hall #elliot with 2 ts #this season premier just didnt do it for me... 😔#long post

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starktonyx · 5 years

Text

The inevitable - Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Word count: 3.6k

Description: Five years had passed since the blip, yet you recalled the events like it was yesterday. Depressed and still mourning, you beg your father to help with the time heist plan to the point of breaking down in front of him for the first time. You’re willing to do anything to save Peter and protect your loved ones, even if it meant sacrificing yourself for the greater good.

Warnings: ANGST. Mentions of anxiety, depression, and attempted suicide.

Masterlist

•

Even after five years had passed, you still remembered that day so clearly. The day hell began. The day your father and your boyfriend had left the earth on an alien ship and went missing. You were terrified for them, and hell, you were pissed off at Friday who shut down your suit so you couldn’t follow them.

That same day you had fought alongside your friends in the battle of Wakanda, you put up a pretty good fight against Thanos, you even managed to get a drop of blood from him until he decided to play dirty to distract you.

“You know, your father also managed to make me bleed” He said and wiped the blood off his forehead, and you stopped right on your tracks at the mention of your dad. “You Starks keep surprising with your little toys” he chuckled and grabbed you by the neck, taking advantage of your sudden distraction.

“At least we c-create our own w-weapons” You argued having a hard time to breathe, your Stark attitude showing up. “I don’t r-rely on l-little stones”

He just tightened his grip and left you struggling as you tried to blast him with the reactor on your chest, but in a matter of seconds he ripped it off with his power stone, causing your nano suit to vanish and leaving you in your civilian clothes.

“These little stones defeated your father you ignorant creature”

“What d-did you do to h-him?” You asked, fear was evident on your eyes and your face turned red as the oxygen barely got to your lungs.

“The same as that spider kid, such a shame, I’m sure they were good people”

That damn day you had believed they were both dead, and when everyone else started to vanish from the snap you felt yourself dying on the inside. The avengers were torn, devastated at the loss, yet you all went back to the compound to somehow find some comfort. You were lucky you still had Pepper with you, even if she wasn’t your biological mother she tried to be there for you, but you spent days locked in your room crying and denying what had happened. The pain was overwhelming, and you just wished you would’ve been part of the dusted ones.

21 days passed until Captain Danvers brought your father home and you realized how Thanos lied to you about killing him, and you couldn’t feel more defeated. When your dad informed you about Peter you had one of the most severe anxiety attacks you’ve ever experienced, since your body was going through a lot of emotions from just welcoming your father to confirming the love of your life’s death.

Peter had been there for you since day one, always stumbling on his own words when being around you. He was the light of your life, always making you laugh and helping you with your mental issues. He loved how he could be himself around you, being nerds in the lab and talking about sci-fi movies all day. You both felt as the other was your soulmate, that it was meant to be. All of the avengers were admired by you, you taught them how strong young love could be. So how come the universe was so mean to break both of you apart?

You didn’t know how but you managed to sneak out in the mission to retreat the stones from Thanos, hoping you would be the one to kill his pathetic ass. The others noticed you when you were already on the planet, so there was no option but bringing you with them.

When Thanos admitted to have destroyed the stones you were fuming, yet the others scared implied that he might be lying.

“My father is many things, but he’s not a liar” Nebula stated and you just bitterly chuckled.

Everyone looked at you expectantly as you walked directly in front on him, Thor put a hand in front of you to stop you from getting too close, but you just kept focused on your target.

“Not a liar? That’s a pretty fun one” you barked at Thanos, who just looked at you amused, he knew exactly what you meant. “You lied about my father, I’ve got no reasons to believe any word you said” you spat as you refused to acknowledge how he lied about Peter as well, you weren’t capable of saying his name out loud.

“And I’ve got no reasons to care about that. The stones are gone, it was necessary, so get over it” He tried to get up but Thor stopped him with the stormbreaker so he turned to talk to you again. “My casualties are never personal, but you Starks are a disease, even if I didn’t end his life I wish he was d-“

He was interrupted when you suddenly grabbed the stormbreaker from Thor’s hand and swung it across Thanos’s head with a scream leaving your lips. Everyone gasped as you just stood there breathing heavily, realizing what you had done. Everything happened so fast, that you didn’t even notice the burn the weapon was leaving in your hand.

“What did you do?” Rocket asked astounded, the tiny Y/N Stark had just murdered the universe’s worst enemy.

“I’m sorry Nebula” You apologized, not for killing Thanos, but because she had to deal with that monster her entire life. With that said you turned around to look at Thor and just let the axe fall to the ground with a thud.

“That’s how you go for the head”

“What’s on your mind kid?”

You were pulled out of your thoughts as your dad noticed how you drifted off and weren’t paying attention to the movie you were watching anymore.

“Not much, I was thinking about visiting Nat today” You sighed and looked down at the floor, you knew he didn’t like you going back to the city, yet you did it quite often. And you couldn’t exactly lie about your whereabouts when Friday practically stalked you.

You also didn’t want to tell him that you were thinking once again about the two days that had marked your life. You knew you should be grateful for having your family together, but not when that family wasn’t complete. You knew you should be happy, but since the blip that emotion never found you again, and depression became your only friend. Pepper and Tony were too caught up in their farm life and raising Morgan that they didn’t notice how you kept falling apart every day.

“Honey if you need someone to talk to, you have us” He implored and put one hand on your shoulder. “You know how much I hate the city and you going out there makes me think you just want to be away from us” you could feel the pain in his words, and you hated yourself for making him feel that way.

“Dad I don’t do it to get away from you, it’s just-“ you took a deep breath as you tried to explain yourself. “It’s just that they are my family too, and I can’t allow myself to loose them, not after … not after …“ You suddenly cut your speech and your heart started beating faster, you couldn’t bring yourself to say his name or the names of the ones that had been dusted. You saw how his posture stiffened as well, and he avoided your eyes.

“Alright, Pep says lunch is in 5” He got up and left you, you supposed he went outside to call Morgan.

And that’s why you never mentioned anything to him. He just avoided the subject as if that would change the fact that half of the universe is gone. ‘You can talk to us’ your ass.

“I’m not hungry” you informed to Pepper as you got up from the couch and walked towards your room and locked yourself in there.

After ten minutes had passed you heard a car park in front of your house and peeked at the window. When you saw Nat and Steve you felt confused, you figured it was better to hear the conversation from the inside since they never visited your father and something serious must’ve happened.

You heard everything about the time heist plan and you were all in for it, but when your father denied to help you were fuming, and you were determined to help them as much as your knowledge allowed it. You were smart, not as much as your dad, but you would be dammed if you didn’t try your best.

The next day you went to the city and spent the whole day working alongside Dr. Banner and Scott Lang. You had managed to somehow progress, but since you ended up turning Scott a baby you realized this was going to take a while. You went back home that day late at night, and you felt your anxiety creeping in when you saw your father sitting on the porch waiting for you.

“So you are helping them with their absurd ‘back to the future’ plan” He theorized as soon as you got out of the car. “And by the looks of it it didn’t go well, did you turn Slang into a baby?” He continued taunting you and you had enough of his attitude.

“Do you want to know what’s absurd? The fact that you refuse to accept that half of the world is gone” You claimed as you got right in front on him. “And the fact that you refuse to do anything about it, not even when - not even when Peter is one of them, do you even think about him? Did you ever mourn him? Do you like Morgan living in a world that hates being alive because their loved ones aren’t? Or the farm life has affected you that much that the only thing you care about is your damn alpaca?” You yelled pointing a finger at him accusingly and couldn’t help the tears falling from your eyes. You saw his eyes getting glossy with every word you said.

“Of course I mourned him” he admitted as he spoke in the same rough tone you did. “Of course I think about him but there’s nothing I can do kid, he’s gone” his voice broke and his tone softened. “And I hate that one day I’ll have to explain to Morgan what happened but I’ll just wait for the right moment. Because for now when I look around I have everything I’ve ever wanted, I’ve got Pep, you and Morgan, I can’t risk loosing this, not when we got so lucky”

“Lucky?” You bitterly let a laugh. “Do you even notice what’s going on around you? Do you know how I can’t breath, I can’t sleep, I can’t fucking live everyday with the guilt I feel?” You didn’t know it was possible to feel more pain that you did everyday, but breaking down to your father for the first time was truly taking a toll on you that you didn’t have control over what you said anymore. “Did you know that I tried to-“

“To jump from the compound? Yes I very much know” he blurted out and you looked down to the scar on your hand, from where you had held the stormbreaker, not being able to look him in the eyes.

“Did Steve tell you?” You questioned, Cap had been the one who grabbed your hand when you jumped, you never thought he was the snitch type.

“No, that guy knows how to keep a secret” He ranted, remembering his fight with the supersoldier. “I made a protocol in case someone fell from the roof, one of my suits would catch them. Imagine my surprise when Friday told me you activated the protocol”

“I’m sorry” You cried as he just took you in his arms and hugged you tight. “I just wanted a way out, it was unfair how I got to live while billions of people had to die. And with Peter gone, it was too much to take” you admitted between sobs “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I didn’t want to force you to give me an explanation so I just waited for you to tell me. I’ve had anxiety for the last decade and I don’t know how to deal with it myself, much less how to help you with that. Also, that’s why Friday reports me every movement you make, so I know you won’t do it again”

He separated from your hug and wiped the tears from your face, he felt wrong for having ignored the way you felt all those years. Even if you put on a fake façade of happiness, he should’ve known better.

“I’m so sorry kid, so sorry”

“It’s okay” you whispered and hugged him again. “Dad please, you said there’s nothing you could do about him being gone, but you know there is a way” you begged and he just caressed your hair. “You’re the only one who can do it.

That same night, after you mentioned Peter’s name for the first time in 5 years, it only took Tony a glance at a photograph of him to literally invent time travel. God, even Pepper told him he would never feel in peace if he didn’t help bring back all those people.

So you were finally there, in the final battle, illuminated by portals that brought together the universe’s mightiest heroes. The fight had been going for a while and you frantically looked for Peter in the battlefield. You finally spotted him in the distance hugging your father and it didn’t take long for you to get to them.

This was it. This was the moment it’s all been leading up to, having your Peter back, safe in your arms.

“Peter?” His name rolled over your tongue with fear and hesitation.

Your father stepped away and Peter turned around to see you, he was surprised, you had surely grown up and looked more like an adult now. Even with cuts all over your face you looked beautiful as ever. Your eyes already started cascading with tears and for the first time in a while you genuinely smiled.

“Oh my god, my love” he exclaimed and jumped in your arms. You both let out laughs of relief as you felt each other in your arms.

Even though, for Peter there was only a day he hadn’t seen you, but for you it was like a lifetime. He separated enough to kiss you passionately, and your heart jumped in joy when you felt his lips again. Your kisses always meant so much, and this time, it was better than anything.

Your father looked standing next to you as he cried tears of joy as well, he hadn’t seen your eyes shine that way or heard you laugh in a long time. And that’s when he knew, everything they went through was worth it.

Peter broke the kiss to analyze your face, as he caressed your cheek with his thumb, trailing behind the tears that kept falling.

“You don’t know how much I’ve been waiting for this moment” you blurted out, in that moment only you both existed. “God, I missed you so much, after all these years, I-“ He interrupted you before you could break down once more.

“Shhh darling it’s alright, I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that” Peter’s heart ached, he couldn’t imagine the kind of pain you went through that whole time. “But I’m here now okay? And I’m not leaving anytime soon” he reassured you and kissed you again.

“Alright alright kids, you’ll have plenty of time left for that” Your dad joked, you knew it was because he felt like he was third wheeling so you just poked your tongue out for him.

After your little family reunion you all kept fighting to keep the stones away from Thanos. You had to admit, seeing him standing there made you want to cut his head off again. After Captain Danvers brought down the spaceships, the fight only got more intense, you could see everything from the front line as a missile sent you flying just feet away from Thanos. You saw how he put the gauntlet on again, and fear flooded your entire body. You tried to focus on what to do and your eyes set on Dr. Strange making a sign for your father, and after seeing your fathers thoughtful expression, you knew exactly what was going to happen.

And you had to stop it.

Without even thinking about it you blasted your dad away from Thanos just when he was about touch the gauntlet, so you grabbed it instead as he went flying to the side. You heard your father scream through the comm but it was too late, you had already taken the stones.

“I am inevitable” Thanos claimed as he snapped his fingers, and then he just stared confusingly when the only sound he heard was a clasp of metal.

A smirk adorned your face but it was soon wiped off as your whole body shook in pain with the energy of the six infinity stones coursing through your veins. A tear fell from your eye as you noticed your father seeing you, waiting for the actual inevitable.

“And… I… am … a Stark” you struggled to say as you finally snapped your fingers, wishing for Thanos entire army to be wiped off the universe.

The next thing you felt was how your organism was shutting down, you fell as you weren’t able to stand up anymore and rested your back on a piece of debris from the fight. The first person to reach to you was your dad, who asked Friday about your state even though he knew there was no way you could survive this.

“W-why did you do it, oh my god my baby” he cried as he grabbed your hand. You knew why. You did it for him and only for him. You wished you could say something, but the pain was too intense to even form a sentence. “It’s okay, you’ll be just fine kid”

Denial is the first stage of grief they say. You hadn’t even died yet and your father was already in it.

Peter didn’t take long to reach you and start bawling like a baby, and even in that state he tried to reassure you.

“P-Pete” you managed to blurt out, and tasted the blood in your mouth.

“It’s okay baby, we won you did it” he cried and all you could do was stare at him. “You did it, I love you so much, please don’t-“ he couldn’t continue talking as he broke down.

Your eyes. He would never forget how your eyes stared at him so empty, no emotion in them. Rhodey caught him in his arms and placed him next to you.

That’s when Pepper kneeled in front on you, with your father on one side and Peter on the other. You looked at her and tried to make an effort to speak but all she could see were your pleading eyes, and you hoped she got the message.

“I’ll take care of them honey, you can rest now” She assured you and she could’ve sworn the upper corner of your mouth tried to smile.

You couldn’t feel any pain now, you knew you would be gone in a few moments. You squeezed your fathers hand and he just hugged you, along with Peter and Pepper. In that moment you wished Morgan could’ve hugged her sister as well.

You took your final breath and finally closed your eyes, your reactor slowly shutting down. Your last memory was a kiss on the cheek from your father as you were showed respects by the other heroes, who kneeled before the girl who killed Thanos twice.

Silence.

Silence and sobs were the only things that could be heard in that battlefield. You did what was necessary and you didn’t regret it, as you left a message for them in case on an imminent death.

“Umm, Hi I Guess” Peter was startled by your voice, when the hologram started playing in your funeral. “If you’re seeing this it means I’m dead. My bad, I’m sorry, it sounds better in the movies. Uh, anyways, I promised myself that if something goes wrong in the mission I will do anything possible to prevent any casualties, even if it meant putting myself on the line” you explained and Tony just buried his face on his hands. You were so much like him to the point where he actually lost you because of it.

“In any case that happened, I’m sorry. We always want a happy ending, that just doesn’t mean we’ll get it. But hey, if the mission was successful it means we brought everyone back, and that also means you’re here Peter” you smiled and at the sound of his name he stiffened in his seat, Tony put a hand on his shoulder. “I just gotta say you are my whole world, thank you for always being there to make me happy. I love you so much I can’t even begin to describe it. I’m sorry I’m not there to hug you, I waited 5 years for you, I’m sure I can wait more until we meet again in heaven”

The room was filled with Peter’s sobs and everyone was trying to calm him, but he just got up and left the room, with Rhodey trailing behind him.

“Dad, Pep, Morgan” you called as if you knew Peter wouldn’t be there anymore. “You guys deserve more than happiness in this farm we call home, please carry on, for me” you begged as a tear threatened to fall from your eye but you stopped as you turned around. “I’m sure Morgan will grow up to be a wonderful woman just as I did thanks to my father. Everything I am is because of you dad” You turned around to face them once again and warmly smiled.

“I love you 3000”

And with that, the hologram vanished. Y/N Stark was finally gone.

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serum23nm · 3 years

Text

Dream 9/21/2021

...I lived somewhere where they spoke Spanish. Not sure where or when. I looked similar to how I am now, same height, same long hair (but fully black, never dyed). I lived with my aunties and my mom and sisters. They all looked different from my actual family. They were a pale tan. My mother in the dream was much older, with white/grey hair. She was shorter, plumper. My sisters were all about the same height as me, two of them. Long hair, brown, with brown eyes. Did not live with any men. We were in a simple house and the surface of the walls were bumpy. It was basically one big room separated by a wall with a large door shaped opening, rounded at the top. Clothing was plain, but also colorful some days (months/years passed by in the dream).

The dream was pretty much like a life. I was going through the days doing chores, helping my mom and aunties, keeping my siblings safe. Life was disrupted by a foreigner, a male doctor who spoke both Spanish and English. He was tall, paler than my family. He had lighter hair, almost blond, but still brown. He was taller than me by a foot, which was striking since my sisters and I were taller than most men in our community. I don't remember his name, but it was strange to "my" ears, something I couldn't pronounce well. He spoke Spanish to me but the "me" in the dream didn't understand English. I could though, so I knew what he was saying when he didn't want me to hear. That's how I knew I couldn't trust him, that he was a bad person. The "I" in reality informed the "me" in my dream on the decision to reject him.

I don't really want to get into details, but one day, tired of my constant rejections, he came into my family's small clinic. The clinic was very tiny, one room. It was where women who are pregnant come to give birth. There's one small cot and a table where my aunties and mom will help the women through the dire moment. I was the only one in there, cleaning things up. It was very sunny outside, the light streaming through one small window at the side of the building. I felt the moment he stepped inside like cold water down my back.

Anyways, after that day, I lived in fear. My sisters would help me hide from him by warning me when he was seen in the town. I would go to our home and stay with my aunties and my mom. They knew what had happened, but there was nothing we could do. I didn't question that in the dream, but now that I'm awake, I wish I had done something. The "me" in the dream was just trying to avoid remembering what had happened. The knowledge was enough to make me curl up and shake on the floor, but that was useless to everyone. In order to stay sane and still be a help to my family, I just avoided the situation all together.

However, two months later, I realized that I was pregnant. I worked in a clinic for pregnant women, I knew the signs. I also "felt" something, not sure what it was anymore, but the only word that comes to mind is pressure. Pressure in my abdomen. This made my soul even more conflicted. I wanted to get rid of it, but I also wanted to keep it. I think I was of the mind that killing it would be killing a piece of myself, but also I didn't want any memory of that doctor. My mind couldn't reconcile the two needs. So I became ill.

My entire family agreed to keep my condition a secret too, reasoning along the same lines as why they kept my rape secret. It would only bring trouble to us and bring the doctor to our door. We didn't know what to do, in truth, but some of my aunties hoped it would die. My mom wanted it to live. I couldn't decide.

My illness became severe and I wasn't able to move from my bed/pallet, an eventuality that I dreaded. I hated being still or confined to the house. Finally, on a day that's beauty mocked my bed-bound soul, I got up. As soon as I stood, something burst inside me. Blood ran down my legs. I screamed for my sister. She saw me, helped me back on the bed, then ran out of the room. Some of this part of the dream is a blur.

I can't remember how or when, but suddenly there were other women in the room. Strangers. They were nobody I knew, no one from my town. I looked at the opening into the other room and saw my family confined to the other side of our home, kneeling on the floor and praying. In front of them, pacing back and forth, was the doctor. I swear, it felt like my heart stopped in the dream. Like it thumped loudly once, then stopped for too long. He looked over and saw me staring. I breathed in a rush and then screamed at the strange women to not let him touch, not let him near me. One of them came over and patted my head soothingly. She spoke words I couldn't understand. I tried to get up but I couldn't feel my legs. I couldn't feel my hands. Only my head moved back and forth. I could feel my chest area, my stomach even, but not my limbs or pelvic region. Panic can't describe what I felt. He came into the room, yelling at the nurse. "I" couldn't understand, but I could. He was asking the nurse to relieve my stress or something like that. He wanted her to calm me somehow. I have no idea what he wanted, but I was determined to escape. I thrashed around but then the lady who had been calming me grabbed my right hand. She leaned over it and stabbed a needle at the corner of the first line close to my fingertip.

This is another part of the dream that's super real. Everything about this sequence of events stood out vividly. She stuck the needle into a small, rubber point against my finger, only the very tip of it. Though I couldn't move my limbs, I felt the prick of it. The needle was long, about the length of my middle finger. A thin plastic tube was attached to the end. I guess the needle was hollow, because blood started to come into the tube. It slowly went down the curling length of the plastic and my eyes were riveted to it. I didn't notice anything else that was happening at that moment. When the blood reached the end of the tube, a drop of it started to form. Before it could fall, a small brown bowl was placed beneath it. The doctor held it. When I met his eyes over the bowl, my panic returned. I thought he was stealing my blood for some kind of curse on me. I turned my head to stare at the women near my legs, preparing to catch my baby. Apparently, the needle trick worked so well I didn't even notice what was happening. I desperately looked past the doctor to my family but they were all still praying loudly in the other room. I tried to move my hand away but the doctor was gripping my wrist and I still couldn't really feel it. He was talking at me. However, my level of panic had reached a point past comprehension. All I could hear was a ringing in my ears.

What finally broke past that high pitch was the cry of a baby.

Time sped back up.

The doctor's face broke into a joyful smile. My limbs filled with fire and I slapped the bowl of blood away. It hit the doctor and distracted him. I sat up as if I hadn't been paralyzed at all and grabbed my baby from the nurse who held him. He was still attached to me.

The dream jumps into hyperdrive.

I am no longer in my house, but I'm holding onto my son and walking quickly down a shaded walkway. It's high noon, the sun is directly above the ceiling. My baby is sleeping, unaware of his surroundings.

Then I'm in a market, my son on my back in a sling contraption. He’s about a year old now. His coloring is after me, dark brown eyes and black hair, for which I am eternally grateful. He’s lighter skinned, but so am I. His name I can’t recall. He is a quiet child and he listens to me. When I tell him to hush, he does. When I need to carry him for long periods of time, he doesn’t fuss. I love him with my entire being and I know I would die for him. But I intend to live long enough to raise him and teach him to defend himself.

Another few years are gone. We are in a church, Catholic I believe. He is a small man, still only 4 or 5, but so wise. He talks intelligently, asks probing questions. I think we have sheltered in this church for the past few years. I am still taught as a bow, no matter what. I am still on the lookout for the doctor. I avoid large towns. I have gone far away from my home, my family, just to keep him safe. When the doctor smiled at my child’s birth, I knew he would have taken him and I never would have seen my baby again. I still lived in fear of that happening...

The dream ends there. Honestly, there were a lot of missing parts, but I can’t remember it all. I have chosen not to remember the rape , but I might end up just typing it all out. It depends. I think it’s crazy how much I dreamed in a single night. It was like living a memory at some points, but other times were too rushed. I wonder if I should turn this into a novel? Or maybe a novella. What do you think?

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anywhozits · 3 years

Text

A Christmas Announcement

Rating: T Words: 5172

Verse: Canonverse Pairing: Kristanna

Summary: Kristoff and Anna are excited to finally share the news of their heir-on-the-way with the Kingdom of Arendelle.

Notes: I wrote this last year and forgot to post it, but this is somewhat related to the Christmas fic I’m writing for this year so wanted to get this out before that one! (at least it’s in the same verse and has similar themes, hah) Anyway hope you enjoy and happy holidays!! Thanks for reading :)

READ ON AO3 HERE

The day was Christmas Eve, 1843. A couple years ago, the whole kingdom of Arendelle began celebrating together at the castle’s now officially annual Christmas ball. Something that Anna had begged Elsa to start since the great freeze ended and the doors to the castle became permanently open. It had taken awhile, but finally Elsa caved to her sister’s wishes, likely only partially due to years of internalized guilt for pushing her away, and the ball quickly became one of Anna’s most anticipated nights of the year. Now with Anna as Queen, the tradition continued.

The entire ballroom was filled with glittering decorations, tinsel adorning the sturdy wood beams. Buffet tables sat lining almost the entire left side of the room, filled bountifully with food to feed the whole town and then some. Lefse, lutefisk (the bane of child and teen Anna’s existence), farikal, pickled herring, kjottkaker, salmon, whale steak, sheep, all the traditional favorites. And that, of course, didn’t even including the two tables of desserts and pastries or the sprawling drink selection. A massive 12-foot Christmas tree stood proudly in the right corner of the space, decorated with great care by Anna and Kristoff themselves. Year after year, Anna always insisted she didn’t need any help from the castle attendants, only a few ladders and a few hours of time alone. She always pulled through. The tree—her pride and joy. This Christmas, Anna had also taken the time to pick out hundreds of presents for the Arendellian children and children-at-heart. Kristoff even did some woodworking for the occasion. Highlights included hand carved rocking horses, rolling reindeer on a string, and building blocks. They couldn’t wait for those presents to be torn open by frantic hands, truly cherishing the visual of children playing for hours on the sweeping ballroom floor, both King and Queen watching misty eyed as they imagined their own child playing along next year. A new tradition.

They had hired both a 5-piece band and a choir to make sure that the ball was not lacking in festive music and thus not lacking in dancing. The choir had kicked off the party singing Christmas songs in perfect harmony, the music floating through the castle, making the previously cold stone walls feel more comforting and protective. Guests had started arriving, smiles plastered on each of their faces as they ran through the open castle gates, eyes wide in childlike awe when they entered the ballroom to see the most elaborate Christmas ball yet.

But two people were thus far missing from the party.

Kristoff knocked softly on his and Anna’s chamber door before letting himself in. He saw Anna, dressed to the nines in a green velvet gown topped with white ruffles that hugged her shoulders. Her upper chest was left bare save for a three-layered pearl necklace, an early Christmas gift from Mattias. The sleeves gaped open, lined by white fur that Kristoff knew felt as soft as it looked. Her hair laid atop her head in an intricately braided bun, her gold and emerald crown placed perfectly in the middle, always bringing out the brilliant green that usually hid within her typically cerulean eyes. Kristoff could only think one word. Radiant. Anna was radiant. Sincerely, Anna sparkled. She always sparkled. But something about walking in on her like this, dressed for the ball, so majestic in every single way… made Kristoff feel as if he might cry for the love that grew and blossomed within his heart. A love so permanent… a love so unyielding that he felt it with both a fiery passion and a patient comfort. He took in a breath. Regarding her magnificence for a second time. Her gold shoes sparkled in the candlelight, heels subtle enough to allow her to dance for hours but tall enough to allow her to kiss him without getting on her tip toes. His eyes floated up to her dress yet again. Even though the gown cinched at her waist, Kristoff swore he could make out a little bit of the swell that was their growing child. He took in another breath. She looked ravishing. How could he be so lucky to call her his wife?

But Anna paid no mind to Kristoff, not then. She was looking in the mirror. Frowning. Frustrated.

But still so beautiful.

“Anna, honey, are you ready to go downstairs? The doors are open, and people are flooding in… I think even Elsa and Honeymaren are already here.” Elsa was finishing up the ice sculptures. Her only task this year, something that made her beyond thankful.

“I’m almost ready! I’m just… I don’t know. I don’t feel right. But I can’t put my finger on why.” Anna twirled around in front of the mirror. “The only thing keeping me chugging along is the promise of lots of food. I’m starving.”

“Yes—that was the journal entry for this week. Ravenously hungry. Insatiable I think was the word I used.” For Anna, eighteen-ish weeks pregnant meant the constant desire to stuff her face with literally everything she laid her eyes on. It was like she had this itch that could never be scratched. A deep hole in her stomach that could not ever be fully filled. But the most unfortunate part was that she somehow had recently begun to crave lutefisk. Lutefisk. The food she would have to plug her nose to eat as a kid. Clearly pregnancy made her leave logic at the door. Kristoff sauntered up to her and brought her in close, wrapping his strong arms around her frame, resting them gently on her mid-section, hooking his chin over her right shoulder and kissing her softly on first her shoulder and then her neck and then her cheek before settling back into the crook of her neck. He smiled. This was pure bliss.

Anna entangled her fingers with his own, both resting on her belly. She sighed. “I swear I could eat literally all of Sven right now and only feel a little bit guilty.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Kristoff laughed into her shoulder.

“I’m starving!” Anna pouted, but then Kristoff kissed her neck again softly and she shivered. Too distracting.

“Well, I know for a fact there’s a lot of food in the ballroom if you want to get a move on…”

“I want to, I really do… but. Still. I’m … you know what? I think I know what it is,” Anna said, pulling away from Kristoff suddenly. “You know how a few weeks ago I had to switch to the maternity corset? Because I really uh—popped out that one morning and couldn’t fit into my old one anymore even with the laces practically undone?” One midwife had even said that Anna looked much bigger than what women usually did at this point in pregnancy. Something that she said could mean there was more than one baby on the way…Anna and Kristoff were far too thrilled with that possibility but had mutually decided they didn’t want to get their hopes up if it didn’t come to fruition. Their baby coming into the world already with a friend… already decidedly not alone. It felt almost serendipitous to Anna, but she still refused to think of it more than fleetingly. So for now—one baby. Singular baby.

“I remember,” he said.

“Well, I hate this thing. It’s so … constricting and it hurts and I can hardly breathe let alone gorge myself with disgusting and foul and gross but somehow still super satisfying lutefisk. Like do you really think this is good for the baby?”

Kristoff shook his head. “Probably not—”

But Anna was on a roll. She bulldozed through the answer he gave to her likely rhetorical question. “I know it’s not breathing or anything right? But … it kind of feels like I’m squishing the baby or something and knowing it’s yours and everything it’ll probably be massive so needs lots of room to… get that way. Oh wait no I can’t think about that. Oh God. Massive. Get that image out of my head please. Too big to come out of me and the pain and owwwww.”

Kristoff stepped closer to Anna and hugged her close, stroking comforting circles on her back. “Hey, it’s okay,” he said. She whimpered. “For the record, I don’t think I was too big as a baby. Although, you know… I don’t remember.”

Anna rolled her eyes. “Very helpful.”

“I do have some chocolate to tide you over, though. That’s helpful, right?”

Her eyes lit up instantly, nodding her head in ferocious fervor. “Yes, yes, yes. Super, super helpful. Very helpful. The most helpful of all helpful!” Kristoff reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out maybe six truffles. Anna ate them in a flash. “God, these are so good.” Then she frowned again. “But I can already feel my corset getting tighter! And, you know what? What’s it all for, hmm? So I can better hide I’m pregnant? Yeah that’s right I said the word. So, what? You know, it’s really grating to me that something that really deserves to celebrated is instead something that needs to be … hidden away. Like the expectation for a queen is to be prim and proper and ladylike and pure or—whatever…while also producing heirs upon heirs. So, what happens when the very thought of being ‘with child’ comes with this implication that you’re not pure? Even though obviously I mean it’s way more concerning if you’re married and still pure, right? And I know I’m saying this about royalty and everything but that’s just my situation. Generally it’s definitely not just for queens. This is any woman. The expectation of any woman. Nobody cares if men are pure. So they’re just producing heirs or kids or namesakes? … left and right and it’s all fine and dandy. It’s just ... really frustrating. And this stupid corset is like the physical proof of this horrible thing and it’s really making me…so—angry.” Anna let out a long breath. It felt good to get all that out. It truly had been building upon itself in this storm of emotions for the last couple weeks. Constantly growing until this moment.

“You know you’re the Queen, right?”

“Uh—yeah. Pretty sure I just talked a lot about that in my little speech.”

“Yes, right. Yes. But I mean… you’re the Queen.”

“Yes, I know. What’s your point?”

“Well, you’ve got the power, baby,” Kristoff said. “Show them how it’s done. You can … make a decree or—or something. Or you can just lead by example. I’ll support you, Anna. You know I’ll support you. And I agree with you, too. The whole thing’s pretty ridiculous. And definitely not healthy for our massive baby.”

Anna crossed her arms over her chest. “Not funny.”

“Take it off, baby. Off with the maternity corset.”

“I want to … but then people will be able to tell, right?”

“You really think they don’t know? Let me ask you this. Truly—how many people do you think are actually in the dark?”

“Uh—I don’t know. Maybe … four?”

“Exactly! Don’t feel like you need to still hide it. The whole castle has known for a long time. You were wearing the maternity corsets! Someone had to make that for you and you know your maids knew right away. Word is out, Anna. We just can’t be open open about it yet. Soon … but you don’t need to hide it. You shouldn’t hide it.”

She contemplated his words for a minute or so before planting a chaste kiss on his lips. “Thanks, husband. You’re the best listener.” He grabbed her hand and gave her a quick twirl, already preparing for the dancing he knew would take up most of his night.

“Always, my sweet love.”

“Now help me get this thing off. Right now. Please.” Anna turned so her back was to him. His large hands wrapped around the velvet buttons of her dress, undoing them at an unparalleled pace. Soon, the dress dropped to the floor and Anna stepped out of it, only standing in her off-white corset and bloomers. The maternity corset had a slightly different shape, dipping lower to cover her entire stomach, and had two extra sets of laces, one on each side that supposedly allowed for more breathing room and expansion along with a growing belly, but Anna disagreed. It felt just as constricting as her usual corset. She jumped in front of Kristoff again. “Off, off, off!”

He obeyed again, large hands undoing the laces but moving closer as he did this, planting periodic kisses on her shoulders. His mind instantly shot back to the first time he unlaced her corset. Years ago.

The beginning of their … exploration was too hurried. They so rarely got time alone and took it whenever they could … wherever they could … as fast as they could. There was never time to take off any clothes. Dress scrunched up her waist, drawers and breeches pushed down to their ankles was the name of their game. But eventually they got bolder. They snuck around in the middle of the night… and in those stolen moments in the moonlight, they had more time. Kristoff remembered ripping off her dress, throwing it into the corner of her room. Turning his attention to her undergarments, working his hands around the laces, trying to figure out how to make this as swift as possible. He smirked. “Is this appropriate?”

“Of course not,” Anna giggled. Kristoff planted kisses on her bare shoulders and then her collarbones. “But when have I ever been concerned with what’s appropriate?”

Kristoff smiled again at the memory. When he finally shot back to reality, he saw that he was almost done with the laces. He pulled the last few and threw the corset far away from them. It landed with an air of dramatics on her dressing partition.

Anna sighed in relief. “God, you’re so much faster at this than my maids.”

“Years of practice paired with years of … urgency.” Kristoff said, smirking.

It had taken him much longer than he felt comfortable admitting to take that corset off that first night, but since then he’d figured out a foolproof strategy.

She turned around to give him a deep kiss. “I’m free. Thank you.”

Kristoff inhaled sharply. She was even more magnificent like this, ballgown tossed to the side. He brought a hand up to cup her chin and his other drifted down to her stomach. He gave it a rub and she kissed him in response, giggling slightly. “You’re radiant, baby. So beautiful.”

“You really think so?”

“You take my breath away,” Kristoff said, meaning it truly and genuinely from the bottom of his heart. Anna beamed at him, feeling both unparalleled awe and unparalleled respect boiling deep within her soul. She regarded him now. The way the left side of his smile cocked up more than his right, sending him into an eternal mischievous smirk. The way his brown eyes always somehow teemed with an unusual mixture of curiosity and warmth. He was her rock. Her ocean. Her world. And she knew that the same was true for him. She was his rock. His ocean. His world.

Anna tried to put all of those feelings into words. “You—I need you to know that you’re—uh—perfect, Kristoff. Really perfect.” She used this word a lot. He doesn’t like it, he said. It’s not true, he said. He has his flaws, he said. But to Anna, even his flaws were perfect. So, he was perfect.

Kristoff smiled again. Mischievous still. But happy. Pleased. Tonight, he wouldn’t argue with her. He placed his hand on Anna’s swollen belly, rubbing gently. “I like this. Baby is free to be massive now.”

“Oh, shut up and help me put my dress back on,” Anna said through a laugh. “Might be a tough task since my waistline has expanded probably five sizes.”

“I’m up for the challenge.” Kristoff said, pulling desperately hard on either side of her dress before he could button them together. Eventually, he managed. Sure, the button stretched a bit and it threatened to pop off, but he thought maybe it would hold. At least for that evening.

“How do I look?” She gave him a twirl, settling in closer to him and cupping her belly slightly. She loved showing it off. The exciting proof of their future. Of what would come in May. “Ugh. I don’t wanna keep this a secret anymore. This is awful. How I lasted this long—it’s torture! Kristoff! Encourage our little one to make its presence known. Please, please, please.”

He smiled at his wife, dropping to his knees. Rubbing circles on her belly and planting gentle kisses all over before pulling away slightly, both hands still resting on the swell. Kristoff leaned in closer again and whispered, “Hey, little one…your mama and papa love you so much and want to tell the whole world how much we love you so we can celebrate you and love you publicly and—can you stretch out for us or move your little arms and legs or something? Mama and Papa are here for you, watching you grow… loving you…” He kissed her belly again. “We love you, little one.”

“Aww, Kris. You’re so cute.”

He stood up slowly. Waiting to see if it worked. Not that it had in the past… but still hopeful. Nothing. “You ready to go?”

“I’m ready to eat if that’s what you mean.”

They walked hand in hand through the castle hallways, still bursting with the beautiful harmonies of the choir, and finally through the doors of the ballroom. Each and every Arendellian guest turned to watch the Queen and King, or Prince—whatever—consort’s grand entrance. Some even started clapping. Clearly the party was already considered a hit.

Anna noticed out of the corner of her eye that a few of the women had started whispering to each other, their eyes glued to Anna’s midsection. Maybe even saying four people didn’t know was an overestimation.

Come on, little one. Move.

But still nothing.

Instead, Anna’s stomach growled, and she knew she needed to get to the food tables. Pronto. She saw Elsa there, too, finishing up the last of the ice sculptures. A reindeer looking much like Sven perched excitedly by the pickled herring. Perfect. Two birds, one stone.

Anna bounded up to her sister first, skipping in an unbridled excitement. Unfortunately, this excitement was almost purely due to the promise of stuffing lutefisk into her belly which made her mind want to stage a rebellion against her stomach at the very idea. But she paid no mind.

Her fabulous sister, first.

“Elsa, I’m so glad you came!”

Elsa laughed. Remaining calm, of course. As usual. She stood tall as Anna collapsed into her arms. “Of course. I wouldn’t miss your favorite night of the year.”

“Thanks for doing the sculptures, too. Everybody loves them,” Anna said, eyes drifting to the series of sculptures that adorned the space, catching a glimpse of a replica of her favorite snowman and smiling widely. “Especially giant Olaf at the dessert table.”

“That one’s my favorite to make.” Elsa took a step back, away from her sister by a couple paces. She took a moment to gaze intently at Anna, something that apparently had become the theme for the day, pursing her lips while deep in some train of thought. And then, suddenly, the corners of her mouth curled into a giddy grin. She closed the gap between them and whispered in Anna’s ear, “You’re glowing.”

Anna laughed. Elsa’s breath kind of tickled her ear. “I know, right?!”

“Is it weird if I say that I think pregnancy suits you?”

“Whoa, Elsa. That is way out of line. And you said the word pregnant? Shame on you!” Anna’s voice got dramatically low when she uttered the taboo word she didn’t actually think needed to be taboo.

Elsa blushed. “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t—”

“I’m kidding, Elsa! I agree with you. Will come in handy—you know—because we want lots of babies and everything,” Anna said. “I love the word pregnant, too. It’s so much easier and less awkward than the whole with child or in the family way nonsense. Like talk about beating around the bush. Jesus.”

“You hungry?”

“Oh, God yes. Thanks for reminding me.” Anna turned, reading to make a beeline for the lutefisk. But then she chuckled slightly and spun back to face her sister. “You’ll never guess what I want to eat, though.”

“Uh—herring?”

“Lutefisk.”

“Lutefisk? You—Anna—want to eat lutefisk?”

“I legitimately want to stuff twenty-five pounds of lutefisk into my mouth right now.”

Elsa laughed in pure shock. “You’re right. I never would’ve guessed.”

“I don’t know if it’s the salt or the disgustingly chewy yet soft consistency that’s getting me going, but it’s doing it. I’m feeling all tingly thinking about it.” Anna shuddered involuntarily How did that sound so good? Truly how? Repulsive. Lutefisk was nothing short of repulsive. “Can you help me fill some plates full?”

“I think your King already has you covered.”

Kristoff, goofy grin plastered on his face, approached the sisters with three plates full of lutefisk and potatoes precariously perched on top of each other. Somehow his left hand held two full glasses of mulled wine.

He passed her a glass of wine and one plate of lutefisk to start. “For you, my love.” He handed the other glass of wine to Elsa who graciously accepted.

Anna attacked the plate. Slurping down the fish in record time. Her face twisted in to some kind of combination of a gag and a smile. “Oh God this is truly horrendous.” Gulp. “Horrid. No…disgusting.” Gulp. “And so grossly…slimy?” Gulp. One plate down. Kristoff handed her the next one. “But also… man oh man does it really hit the spot.”

“I always liked lutefisk,” Kristoff said, taking a piece for himself.

Anna stopped what she was doing and shot daggers at him. “So this is your fault? Lutefisk and a massive … I swear we’re gonna find a way for the trolls to make you go through this next time.”

“You know you love it.” Kristoff smiled mischievously yet again. Taking another satisfied bite of the lutefisk.

Anna pouted playfully and grabbed one handful of lutefisk, flinging it directly into Kristoff’s face. “Trolls.” Another piece. “You.” And another. Kristoff had started opening his mouth to catch the pieces, swallowing in bliss with each successful catch and each delicious bite. “Next.” Anna tried to remain serious, but a smile was toying on her lips. Another toss. “Time.” The grand finale. Anna tricked Kristoff with a fake throw and tossed it into her own mouth instead. He furrowed her eyebrows and looked around, confused. Not having any inkling as to what actually happened. Elsa had started cracking up. Those two. Always getting up to some kind of ridiculous antics.

Anna couldn’t contain her laughter anymore and it came spilling out quickly to the point where she could barely catch her breath. She felt something like gas bubbling in her stomach and tried to calm herself, worried she had upset the whole peace of her body by gorging herself with food and then laughing too hard. But she didn’t have any burp in her… curious. Gassy without gas. Once she had successfully quelled her laughter, she started feeling it again. Gas … or bubbles … or butterflies teeming in her stomach?

Or…

OR…

OR!

Anna outwardly gasped. One hand immediately shot to her abdomen and the other covered her mouth.

Elsa and Kristoff both looked at her curiously, both cocking their head in the exact same way.

“Oh my God it’s happening!” Anna squealed, bouncing up and down so frantically that her mulled wine kept spilling over the cup.

They continued to look at her, confused as ever.

Both her hands rested on her stomach now. “It feels like… all of Elsa’s ice fireworks are going off in here!”

Now Kristoff and Elsa understood. Their eyes widened, they audibly gasped.

Still bouncing, Anna giggled. “Oooh tickly!”

“Anna?!” Kristoff ventured. She beamed at him and motioned him closer. He wrapped one strong arm around her and pulled her in for a hug, other hand staying low, secretly stroking her stomach.

She whispered in his ear. “Can you feel it? Can you feel our little one? At least…I think that’s what’s happening. I’ve never felt anything like this before. I mean gassy but—not gassy…” Plus, mother’s intuition? She just knew this was it. The Quickening. Finally!

He shook his head. “I don’t feel anything. But—I think that’s normal? I can…imagine it takes a while to feel it on the—outside,” Kristoff said, still close to her, hand still firmly on her belly. “But you feel it. Anna, it’s—wow. It’s real. This is happening. I’m so—I’ve never been more—this is the happiest I’ve ever felt.” He kissed her, passionately, on the lips.

“Me too,” Anna said as she pulled away, looking longingly into his fiery brown eyes. Another little flutter resonated through her and she giggled. Pressing her hand and thus Kristoff’s hand deeper into her stomach. “I wish you could feel it.”

“Someday.” He kissed her again.

“Screw the troll idea. You were right. This is so cool. Totally worth the lutefisk cravings.” Their laughter was interrupted by Elsa’s hands looping over both of their shoulders, hugging them tightly. Excitedly.

“Kristoff, Anna! Congratulations. Both of you.”

“Aww, thanks, sister,” Anna said, chuckling into her smile. Noting that Elsa’s cheeks seemed markedly more flushed and she wondered if the mulled wine had already gotten to her. “Wait.” Anna started bouncing again. So enthusiastically that neither Elsa nor Kristoff could keep holding onto her. “This means we can tell people! Oh my gosh can we tell them tonight? Can we, can we, can we?”

“How about right now?”

“Right now?” Anna’s voice cracked. “Right now right now?”

“Let’s go.” Kristoff held out his hand and Anna grabbed it quickly, forcefully. With all the intent in the whole world.

They raced to the small stage where the choir and the band performed. Their royal presence was enough to stop the singing mid-phrase, choir members bowing at attention.

“You don’t need to do that,” Anna said. “Your singing is beautiful, by the way. Thank you for being here. Uh—we just wanted to make an announcement. If that’s okay, of course. We can wait!” Somehow, Anna’s extreme giddiness was still manifesting as a constant and consistent bounce.

The choir singers looked at each other with what Anna perceived as knowing glances, and then nodded for the King and Queen to proceed.

They took center stage, Anna still bouncing, hand-in-hand. “Uh—hello, Arendelle! We wanted to take the time to thank you all for coming to the annual Christmas Ball. We hope you’re enjoying the food and the music and the holiday merriment! We are so happy this has become a tradition, and if I do say so myself, this might be the best ball yet. And not only because of—well, the ball… as of well—tonight, actually, Kristoff and I can finally announce that …” Anna took a moment to scan the crowd of eager faces. Maybe there were more than four who had no idea. “We’re having a baby!” Anna squealed and then screamed, raising her arm and thus also Kristoff’s arm into the air. Kristoff had also let out a few cheers. The crowd applauded, reaching a steady crescendo just as Kristoff picked Anna up and spun her around, giddily laughing, before bringing her face into his hands for a tender kiss. He then dropped to his knees in front of his wife, leaning in slightly, large hands now cupping her belly. Showing off her belly. Celebrating her belly. No more hiding. Just like Anna had wanted. He planted a tender kiss on the curve and the crowd cheered once again. Anna’s hands found their way into his hair and she ruffled it a bit, messing it up in a way she found exceedingly adorable. She turned back to the crowd, Kristoff still rubbing her belly in elation. “Baby Bjorgman is coming at the end of May!” Now Anna noticed a small corner of the crowd exchanging pieces of gold. Of course there had been some bets going on. She wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Kristoff stood up, kissed Anna once more, and then grabbed her hand, interlacing her fingers with his own. Anna took her other hand and cupped her belly, showing the crowd in more detail exactly how far along she was. Exactly. No mind games from any extra clothing. The buttons on her dress were still close to breaking loose. “Oh, and another thing! Maternity corsets are for the birds. It can’t be healthy to wear them all… tight and constricting and—” Without knowing how to control it, Anna shuddered a bit. So happy to be free. And safe. “Besides—let it all hang out, baby!” She did a little dance right then, shaking her rump and rubbing her belly. Laughter echoed throughout the crowd and then a whole conversation stirred. Anna hoped it wasn’t too judgmental… she didn’t want them to think she had taken anything too far.

But no matter. Kristoff was right. As Queen, she could make some rules. She could set some expectations. Even if not well received in the beginning, they could still hold weight.

Kristoff leaned in to whisper in Anna’s ear. “No more secrets.”

She smiled. Thank God. “Shall we celebrate?”

He nodded. “Let’s dance.”

The choir started singing again. The band joined in. The Holly and The Ivy, a Christmas classic. Merriment abound. Merriment all around. Although Kristoff and Anna took the lead, dancing alone for a few minutes, eventually more and more guests joined in. A little bit of Hallingdansen, a lot bit of pols, and the most bit of Kristoff taking advantage of the fact that the whole kingdom knew how overjoyed they were with the news of their growing family by essentially hardcore smooching in the middle of the dance floor. Their tongues had a good time dancing the Halling, too, and they paid absolutely no mind to the fact that all eyes were on them. Maybe the mulled wine was getting to them, too, or perhaps it was simply euphoria. Between the kisses, Kristoff frequently dropped to his knees to kiss Anna’s stomach or rub excited circles over the curves during the dances. Anna giggled each time, noticing that the flutters seemed to come in more enthusiastic waves when Kristoff’s hands or lips came in contact with her belly.

This felt good. To finally have the freedom to really celebrate. True bliss. True happiness. The best of all the past Christmas Balls. And they had a feeling no future ball could ever compare.

#kristanna #frozen #fanfic #fanfiction #myfics #christmas #fluff #canonverse

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imjusthereforbatfam · 3 years

Text

Never-Ending Encore, ch.5

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6

Chapter Summary: Okay, listen. Listen. Eden may have agreed to this, but are we absolutely, positively sure she needs stitches? Yes? Er… Okay. But are we, like, SURE sure or...?

Warning: swearing, blood, describing injuries, mending injuries (on a wuss)

Also!!! Apparently, you’re not supposed to use rubbing alcohol or hydrogen peroxide on cuts cuz their chemicals are too harsh and can damage muscle tissue. I grew up using peroxide on my cuts and didn’t know you weren’t supposed to until after I’d already written the majority of this chapter, so like… don’t do this irl. I’m just lazy and using alcohol works really well for the story so blah

—

Chapter 5:

Eden leaned her head back on the low wall behind her and stared up at the clouded sky. She huffed for what felt like the hundredth time. At this rate, she was going to be completely healed before Red Hood even got back...

She took another peek at her sliced palm. The cut was about a third smaller than it had been. Would Red Hood notice? Probably. It was hard to miss.

Should she— she shuddered. Should she try to reopen it a little with her nails?

She moved her hand away, gagging at the thought.

Nope. No way. Forget that. If it was noticeable to Red Hood, she would just play it off somehow. Distract him or something. Play dumb. Cry. Whatever it took but she was not going to reopen it. It shouldn’t heal much more before he got back, anyway. He promised it would only take a few minutes for him to get what he needed and get back. And, despite feeling like she’d been sitting on this rooftop for hours, Eden knew that wasn’t true. She was just getting antsy.

She put a hand to her neck, gently moving a finger across the gash there. It was fairly long, running from the dip between her shoulder and neck down to the crook of her collar bone. The knife nicked her jugular on the way down, too. That was how she’d become so lightheaded so quickly. Even now, her shirt was still wet with all the blood she’d lost.

She was lucky her body healed the way it did. The process was by no means instant, and sometimes it was too little too late, but more often than not it was just enough to save her from unnecessary encores.

Actually, still running her finger along the jagged cut, Eden was a bit surprised. Usually, an injury like this would be far more healed by now. Yet, somehow, the cut on her neck didn’t feel any smaller than the first time she’d touched it. True, it wasn't as deep as it had been – Eden could just… tell it wasn't – but on the surface, it was mostly the same.

Was it her? Had she gained some control over this part of her power without realizing it? Maybe. Or maybe she'd just lost so much blood that replenishing it was more important than mending the rest of her body. Or maybe her body magically knew that healing too fast wasn’t a good idea this time. Or, maybe, it was just mending itself like this, like a snail trudging across a bone-dry desert, because she hadn’t eaten anything since lunchtime.

Her stomach growled on cue, confirming her suspicions. Eden groaned. Now that she wasn’t drowning in her own thoughts or missing a remarkable amount of blood, she was fully aware of her body’s needs. And, boy, did it need food.

“Would you—”

Eden shrieked in surprise as Red Hood announced his return by swiping her hand away from her neck.

“—stop messing with that?”

“What in the—!? Where in the heck did you come from!?”

“Hell, obviously.” He knelt down in front of her, taking a small black bag off his shoulder. “Couldn’t you tell?”

“Oh, of course,” she said rolling her eyes. “I thought I recognized the accent.” She smacked her forehead theatrically.

Red Hood let out a small, amused sound as he unzipped the bag. Inside was a swath of medical supplies. He dug around a moment then pulled out a white cloth and bottle of rubbing alcohol.

Eden eyed the bottle as he unscrewed the cap. “I hear the weather’s lovely in Hell this time of year,” she continued, hiding behind the joke. “Good time for a visit.”

“Nah," he said playing along. "It’s hot as balls right now."

She chuckled. “Ain't it—” Red Hood turned to her urgently and Eden quieted.

He said nothing.

“Um…" She shrank down a little, unnerved by his wordless stare. "Everything okay there, Mr. Hood?”

He studied her another moment then eased back. “Yeah. Sorry. You started laughing so I thought you might…” he drifted off, looking at her neck. He shook his head and went back to prepping the cloth. “How do you feel?”

She shrugged. “Fine. Better than I was.”

“No more gagging fits?” He glanced over at her and Eden shook her head. “Good.”

She eyed the drenched cloth in his hand, thinking back to all the times she'd put alcohol on someone else’s cuts and scrapes. She’d never had to use it herself, not even when she was a kid, so she didn’t know what it felt like. All she knew was that other people often hissed or groaned when they used it. Even Nate, arguably the toughest of her semi-siblings, would wince if alcohol went on an open wound.

“Is that going on my neck?”

“Yep.” Red Hood brought it closer.

Eden leaned away. “Is it going to hurt?”

“I mean.” He gave a half-shrug, half-nod like it was obvious. “Yeah?”

“Okay, but like…” She slunk down against the wall, growing quieter. “How bad is it gonna hurt? Like… bad or… really bad?”

Red Hood tilted his head in thought. “How’s your pain tolerance?”

"My...? Oh. Well, it's... um..."

No matter how she got hurt, Eden was always fine in the end. But in the moment? When it was actually happening to her? Or, if it was a trade, when it felt like it was happening to her?

“Not great,” she decided. But, then again, who didn’t experience excruciating pain while dying? “It’s hard to say. It might be normal but… I’m not really sure. I certainly don't like pain, if that helps.”

“Alright, better question: have you ever used alcohol to clean a cut before?"

“No,” she murmured sinking into her shoulders. “Never.”

Red Hood turned his head upward and let out a deep noise, something between a hum and a sigh. He glanced toward the little black medical bag, then down at himself, then around them. Searching for something, perhaps.

“Look—” Eden straightened herself up, drawing his attention. “Look, why don’t you… Why don’t you just do it, okay? You being all,” she made a gesture, “this is freaking me out more. Just throw it on there and if it hurts, then—”

“When it hurts. I’m not just slapping it down," he told her. "I have to actually clean the cut.”

“Oh, okay!” she said in a much higher pitch. “Great! Wonderful! Then when it hurts, I’ll just— I’ll— I’ll kick you or something! And it’ll be fine!”

Red Hood cocked his head. “After all I’ve done for you, you’re going to repay me by kicking me?”

Eden blinked at him. “What? Oh! No, no! I didn’t mean— I wasn’t really going to kick you! Of course not! I wouldn’t actually— Okay, I mean, maybe in like a knee-jerk kind of way, but not on purpose or anything! And even if I did do it on purpose, I’d probably hurt myself more than I’d hurt you, Mr. Hood – I think we both know that – ‘cause it would just, you know, be like a, uh, little baby kicking you or something. More sad than anything, really; just downright pathetic, and, honestly, you'd probably feel bad for me and have to pretend it hurt 'cause I'd just be holding my foot and crying, and—”

Red Hood snickered loudly, cutting off her senseless jabbering. He turned his head and covered the place where his mouth would be but his shoulders kept shaking.

Eden’s whole face went up in flames. He'd been joking. And now he was laughing at her. Again.

“Oh, for goodness sake,” she grumbled turning away from him. She pushed her hair out of the way and offered up her neck. “Will you please just get this over with before I make a bigger fool of myself?”

“Hold on.” Still fighting back laughter, he reached for the bottle again. “I need to add some more.”

“More!?”

"Yeeaah," he said shaking his head oh-so-solemnly. "It dried out while you were talking."

“Uh-huh, yeah, sure." She turned and pinned her eyes on the skyscrapers in the distance. "Go on and tease the panicking person, Mr. Hood. Very kind of you. Very classy.”

"What can I say? I'm such a kind, classy guy."

A laugh nearly tumbled out of her but Eden quickly fought it down, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. The sound of fresh alcohol spilling onto the cement wiped her suppressed smile clean away.

“Oh god.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “This is really happening, isn’t it?”

“You’re gonna be fine, Cookie Girl.”

“I am not gonna be fine!” she threw back. “This is awful! This is horrendous! This is— This is torturous!”

He scoffed, close to her neck now. “Don’t be such a baby. I haven’t even done anything yet.”

“I know! That’s what’s so awful!”

“Do you want to hold my hand or something?”

Eden knew he was mocking her. She did. She just didn’t care. Her good hand clutched at the fabric of his leather jacket. The other wrapped around the exposed skin between his glove and tight, armor-like sleeve. Her mending palm warmed quickly against his skin.

He cleared his throat. “I was joking.”

“Well, that's too damn bad, Mr. Hood! Don’t go making offers you don’t wanna bank on! Now, would you puh-LEASE just get this over with!? I’m seriously starting to freak out here, and I really don’t appreciate the whole ‘Let’s draw this out as long as possible ‘cause it’s funny’ shtick, ‘cause it’s not funny, and I for one really don't appreciate—”

“Okay, okay! I’m doing it, I’m doing it. Sheesh.” He moved forward and ran the cloth over her torn skin in one quick motion. Eden shrieked and clutched his arm.

The burn was intense— sudden— unlike anything she’d felt before. Her eyes misted as she forced herself to breathe through clenched teeth.

Every so often, Red Hood gave her small words of assurance – that she was doing fine, that he was almost done – but Eden could only focus on the pain. Liquid fire bubbled and seared its way deep into the wound. She dragged the soles of her shoes against the cement, desperate for relief. Eventually, she tore her good hand away from Red Hood’s jacket and pounded her fist against the floor. She grabbed his sleeve again and held it tightly, trying not to cry.

When he finally finished, Red Hood carefully removed her good hand from his sleeve and put it on top of the cloth. “Keep this here, alright?”

“I don’t like this,” she sniffed, her voice wavering. “Why do we have to do this. I hate this. This is stupid.”

“You’re doing fine, Cookie Girl,” he said softly.

She half-huffed, half-whined in disagreement.

Red Hood turned back to his little black bag and dug around with his free hand. He made no indication of needing his other hand, so Eden didn’t let go. Every time the frothing, stinging burn flared up again she dragged her heel across the floor and gave his arm another tight squeeze. If it bothered him, he didn’t show it.

“So.” He pulled a small pouch from the bag. “What kind of trouble are you in, anyway?”

The furrow in her brow deepened. “What do you mean? I’m not in any trouble…”

“Right.” From the pouch, Red Hood took out a curved needle, some thick tweezers, and what looked like a spool of blue fishing line. “Because only someone not in any trouble would beg someone like me to patch them up instead of going to a hospital.”

“Hey now!" She let go of him and pointed to herself. "I didn't beg for nothin'. I just refused to go to the hospital. You're," she jabbed her finger at him, “the one who’s insisting on doing this nonsense.”

He scoffed and swiped her hand away as he threaded the needle. “Would you rather I didn’t do this nonsense?”

“It feels like the devil himself is pissing on my shoulder right now, so... yeah, to be completely honest, I’m kinda wishing you didn't.”

Red Hood stopped. Stiffly, he turned his head toward her. Eden shrunk back from the sudden, severe emotion coming from him. The heat of his hidden gaze, amplified by the glaring eyes of his helmet, was hard to meet.

“I’m sorry,” he said harshly, “did you want an infection in your fucking neck?”

“No,” she said quietly.

“Then what about having a huge scar for the rest of your life?”

Knots formed in her stomach. “I’m not worried about scars,” she mumbled stubbornly.

“No? Then how about that cut reopening?” he shot back. “How about bleeding out a second fucking time when there's no one around? How about fucking dying? Are you worried about that?” he hissed. His distorted voice was sharper and more searing than Eden had ever heard it.

She sank further down the wall. It wasn't hard to understand why Red Hood was so worked up about this. She glanced down at the slick, sticky river of blood that had flooded her shirt and pooled down her torso. She'd lost so much so quickly... If she were a normal human being and the cut did reopen, there wouldn't be enough blood left in her body to survive it. She would bleed out and die just like Red Hood said.

But Eden wasn't normal. The cut wouldn't reopen. And even if it somehow did, it wouldn't kill her. Her body had already made up for most of the blood she'd lost — she could feel it. And even if it hadn't, even if the damn thing did kill her, it's not like she would stay dead anyway. The universe would demand another encore from her, just like it always did, and her heart would start again. Just like it always did.

Eden eyed the needle in Red Hood's hand apprehensively. He was going to put that into her skin. Into her cut. He was going to sew her up like an old ragdoll and she didn't even need it!

What would it feel like? Would it be small but sharp like getting pricked by a sewing needle? Strange and agonizing, as if she were being carved up by a tiny knife? Quick and exasperating, like getting her ears pierced again before they finally understood why the holes kept closing up? Or, would it feel like something she’d never experienced before — like the molten, frothy sting of alcohol on an open wound?

And, even worse, the stitches would eventually have to come out. Her body would be perfectly healed within a day or two – at most – and would leave no scar. There'd be nothing to suggest she’d ever even needed stitches in the first place. Even if she could find a way into a hospital without alarming her mother, how would she be able to explain that? She wouldn't. She'd have to remove them herself.

She could just... tell Red Hood her secret, of course. Avoid the whole kerfuffle that way but... But that was stupid. Yeah, he was trying to help her now, and, yeah, he’d save her before, but being a metahuman wasn’t something you just… told people about. Not even heroes. Eden wasn’t that stupid.

In fact, the only people she’d ever told were the “cousins” she considered siblings. And even then, unless they actively needed her powers, she only told them after years of knowing and trusting them. It was her greatest secret, and, as far as she was concerned, only family needed to know it.

Well. Family and whoever the hell Frank told, apparently.

Eden was still upset about that. People – people she didn’t know; people her mother didn’t know; total strangers – knew about her powers now. Frank had told the people he worked with about her without her knowledge or consent. He swore they were trustworthy, that they were merely interested in the science and what it could do, but that didn’t mean much to Eden. After all, he wasn’t even family. Not anymore.

She'd thought he wanted to be. Despite all the years of silence, of absence, she’d hoped he wanted to be when he suddenly reached out and asked to see her again. But when they finally did meet up, after all the backflips and hoop-jumping they’d gone through to keep Mama from catching wind, he’d treated her more like a business venture than a daughter.

That stung more than alcohol ever could.

“Well?”

Eden glanced up at Red Hood. Waiting, with needle in hand. Likely angry, or at the very least upset, with what he must’ve thought was a very stupid, very weak, very ungrateful little girl. He certainly wouldn't be the first.

She looked away again and let out a slow breath. Carefully, she removed the cloth from her neck, hissing softly as she did. She wordlessly offered up the wound a second time. He shifted closer, putting a hand near the cut. Eden flinched and he stopped again.

“Sorry,” she said quickly, softly, sure he was getting more irritated by the minute. “I’m sorry, I just…” She shook her head, fighting the shameful urge to cry. “I’m just," she choked. "I'm just no good at this stuff."

Red Hood said nothing. Eden wondered if silence was how he showed his disappointment.

After a moment, his free hand moved from her neck. He held it in front of her, his palm up. She stared at it, unsure of what it meant.

“It doesn’t hurt too bad,” he said gently. Eden's eyes lifted in surprise. “It does when the needle goes in," he continued, still soft, "but it’s more weird than painful, I swear. If you need to, you can still…" Red Hood looked to the side and started mumbling. "Y'know.” He bobbed his hand. “Hold my hand or whatever...”

A rebel tear ran down her cheek. Eden sniffed and quickly brushed it away.

This... This was Gotham’s most-contested vigilante. The mob boss. The murderer. The one everyone and their mother had an opinion on. The one they said could never, should never, be considered a hero. This guy. The one who insisted on helping a stubborn, panicky, annoying civilian all night. The one who got downright pissed when she tried to brush off life-saving care. The one who did not rebuke her for being so pathetic, so weak, but instead shyly offered her comfort.

She couldn't wrap her head around it. People called Red Hood bad, immoral, unforgivable, but how? How could anyone think of him like that? Even if he'd done awful things... Even if he still did awful things... Red Hood clearly wasn't an awful person. He was thoughtful. He was kind. He was good.

Had any of the people who said those nasty things actually met him? Did they know how tender he could be? How sweet? Maybe they hadn’t and his rough reputation simply preceded him. Or maybe Eden was a fool who couldn't see the true cruelty hidden beneath a masterful facade. Or... maybe she was one of the lucky ones who got to see past the facade, who got to see the heart hidden underneath.

Eden gingerly took his hand, so, so grateful. “Thank you, Mr. Hood,” she whispered, hoping the words would be enough to convey at least a small fraction of what she was feeling.

He grumbled something back — his voice garbled more than usual.

Eden smiled and giggled softly, feeling outstandingly lucky.

“You ready now?” he muttered.

She nodded. "Ready."

He moved forward again, slowly this time — giving her enough time to stop him if she needed it. She squeezed his hand in anticipation. He took it as a go-ahead.

There was a sharp prick at the base of her collarbone followed by a strange sliding sensation. Like he’d said, there was a sharp, shooting pain each time the needle went in or out of her skin, but it wasn’t too bad. The real issue was the silk-like thread. The slick feeling of it running in and through her skin, tugging pieces of herself together… It was off-putting. Nauseating, even.

Eden tried not to squirm too much. When the needle pierced too thin a piece of skin, she squeaked and scraped her shoe against the ground as Red Hood muttered an apology. When the tugging made her nearly gag, she zeroed in on the scruff marks along his jacket, breathing slowly as she counted them up.

When none of that helped, she would squeeze his hand, silently begging for strength. He squeezed back, readily giving it whenever she asked.

“There,” he said pulling the needle through one last time. He tugged the thread firmly. “Can I have my hand for a second?”

Eden let go and watched as he tied off the string and cut off the excess.

“So…" she tried. "How do I get them out?”

“They’ll dissolve or fall out in a few weeks’ time. No hospitals necessary.”

She nodded slowly then let out a breath of relief. "Thank you," she mumbled.

Red Hood studied her a moment. He lowered his head slightly and stayed that way, something clearly on his mind.

Then, as if forcing himself, he reached for her cut hand. Eden jerked it close to her chest.

“Are you gonna put stitches in my hand, too? That would hurt worse, wouldn’t it? Since it’s my palm?” She snuck a glance at the cut as she spoke.

The first time she’d looked at it, it ran clear across her palm from end to end. There’d been thin cuts across some of her fingers too. She honestly couldn't remember when it had happened in the fight or how, but she must’ve grabbed for the knife at some point and been holding it by the blade when it was roughly pulled from her grasp.

Now, the cut was much smaller. Only about an inch and a half over the center of her palm. She couldn’t even tell where the smaller slices on her fingers had been. She imagined the skin there still looked a little irritated, but – because it was dark and her hand was still coated with blood – she couldn’t see it.

“I might not have to,” Red Hood said holding his hand out for hers. “The neck was definitely worse, but let me take another look at it.”

Nervously, Eden took one more glance at her palm then handed it over.

Red Hood inspected it a moment then tilted his head. "Huh."

She panicked. “What!?” she shrieked, startling him enough to look away from the cut. “Is it bad? Do I need stitches? Please don’t say I need any more stitches, Mr. Hood, I really don’t think I can handle going through that with my hand. Please say I don’t. Pretty please?”

He glanced down at it again. “You don't.” Very gently, he ran a thumb over the cut. “It’s a lot smaller than I remember…”

“Oh, thank goodness!" she said in a fast voice. She started tugging her hand away. "So we’re all good then, right? No more patching up? You can just take me home now?”

Red Hood let out an amused hum and started packing up his supplies. “You trying to get rid of me?”

“No, not at all! But," she brought up a finger, "if you bring that alcohol crap anywhere near me again, I really am going to kick you.”

He scoffed and batted her hand away. Then he paused and dipped his head. “Actually," he teased, reaching for the bottle. "Now that you mention it—”

“No. No, no."

“We really should clean it."

“Nope. No. Don’t you dare.”

“Aw, c'mon, Cookie Girl,” he said waving the bottle. “Just to be safe?"

“Mr. Hood, I will kick you and I will do it hard.”

He laughed, stood up, and offered his hand. "You gonna cry when you do?"

"No! ...Maybe." She took his hand. "Shut up."

—

Feedback is always appreciated! 🥰💕

Chapter 6

#jason todd #jason todd x oc #jason todd x reader #red hood #red hood x oc #red hood x reader #oc: Eden Smith #Never-Ending Encore #chapter 5 #jason todd fanfiction #red hood fanfiction

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tomspancakes · 4 years

Text

This Way: Part 5

*not my gif*

Pairing: Tom Holland x Actress! reader

Word Count: 4557

Warnings: Dickhole Tom

Summary: Uncharted filming is postponed and Tom comes back home.

A/N: Please lmk if you’re enjoying this series or have any constructive criticism for my writing! Don’t hesitate to ask to be a part of the taglist (if i can even make it work lol) Enjoy part 5, loves :)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

+++

“What the fuck. She’s actually crazy! We have to do something about this. I mean she’s literally blackmailing Tom into staying with her!” Harry said loudly.

“Shhh, I don’t want the other boys to hear.” You said trying to quiet him down, “I know it’s crazy, but Tom and I said we’d figure out a way for her to stay quiet or something I don’t know. But the only thing we can do right now is let him stay with her.”

“But-”

“No, Harry, if you do anything she’ll expose Tom and I. E-even though we’re broken up I’m not ready for people to go digging into my past life. We’ll figure something out I promise.” He nodded understanding how much you cared about your privacy.

“Hey Harry and y/n. You guys down to-” Haz came into the living room and saw your puffy eyes and bruises forming on your left arm where Allana grabbed you. It was still a mystery that she was able to bruise you, “Oh what the hell happened, are you ok y/n?” He said very concerned and picked up your arm to examine it.

“I’m ok,” You laughed, “Just a little accident when we were coming into the house.” You said trying to not mention Allana.

“Oh it was definitely far from an accident. Allana came looking for Tom and she was-”

“Harrison! We have to go outside! Allana is going psycho on y/n and Harry!” Tuwaine came running down the stairs to show Haz the security footage, “Oh, oops… I thought this was going on now…” You all laughed.

“Anyway, Allana is way crazier than we thought, guys. She was trying to accuse y/n of trying to take Tom, calling her a ‘stupid whore’ and such. Well you can see it in the security footage. We can’t let her near y/n if she comes back.” Harry said and the boys nodded crossing their arms like they were your body guards and your heart melted.

“Aw you guys are gonna make me cry, love you guys,” They smiled at you, “but I can take care of myself. She’s just being a jealous girlfriend.”

“Uh no. more like a fucking psychopath.” Harrison said sassily and the boys agreed.

“Ok whatever she is, it doesn’t matter. You guys also can’t tell Tom what happened. We all know he’d come back in a heartbeat if he finds out.” The boys looked at you with a face like, ‘what the fuck?’.

“He left to have some time for himself so we’ll give it to him. Plus he’s gonna start filming in a few days so we can’t distract him from his work.” The boys agreed because you made a valid point.

“As soon as he gets here though I’m gonna tell him to break it off with her.” Harrison said sternly and you got a little nervous about that.

-*One week before lockdown*-

It’s been a few days since Tom had left. Tom tried to reach out to you a few times, but you wouldn’t budge.

You were beginning to get nervous hearing about the restrictions of travel to the US and your manager, Stacy, called.

“Hey y/n how’s it going?”

“Well, I’m sad filming was cut short, but I guess I could use a break. I’m trying to find a plane ticket home, but they’re so hard to find since everyone is trying to go back to the states now.” You said nervously.

“Yeah, y/n, here’s the thing. I don’t think you should come back home.”

“What? B-but what about my family?” Your manager sighed.

“Look, you were gonna be gone from home for a few months already, if you stayed it’d be like the same thing. And who knows? You may even start filming in 2 weeks like they said. Plus it’s really not safe to travel at this time. I don’t want you to get sick and I’m sure you don’t want to get anyone in your family sick.” Stacy was making really good points, you sighed and nodded, “I’m sorry, y/n, just try to come to terms with it.”

“Ok will do, Stacy. I’ll talk to you later.” She gave you an apologetic smile and hung up. You were upset, but at least you wouldn’t be alone right? Quarantining with 4 other boys was going to get real interesting… especially when one of them is your ex.

“Everything alright, Y/n?” Harry sat next to you on the couch. You shook your head and rested it on his shoulder.

“I can’t go back to my family because of the virus.” He looked at you apologetically and rubbed your back.

“It’s gonna be ok you have me, Harrison, Tuwaine, and Tom will probably be home soon.” You nodded and felt a sense of comfort knowing Tom would be back soon.

- In Berlin, Germany-

Tom got a text from the producers for the entire crew to meet in the hotel lobby. Tom already had an idea of what was about to happen. As soon as everyone got there the director, Ruben Fleischer spoke.

“Thanks for coming down everyone, I assume you already know what this announcement is about. We’re going to have to postpone all production of Uncharted until it is safe to return. I suggest that you make your way home soon since travelling restrictions are getting worse.” As soon as he finished talking Tom got a text from his assistant, Ben, saying that he already booked Tom a plane ticket last night because he heard the news beforehand somehow.

Tom was sad that he’d have to leave doing what he loves most, but he was excited to go back home and see you and the boys. He thought of this as a nice little break, then he remembered he had to deal with Allana and he sighed.

He sent a text to a groupchat called, “y/n and divs,” (which consisted of everyone in the house) saying he’d be going back home now.

- Heathrow Airport -

Tom tiredly tried to hail a cab until a familiar car pulled up in front of him.

“Hey, Tommy.” Tom's eyes widened. How the hell did she know he was coming back? “Hop in, baby.” He gulped and walked into the passenger seat.

“How’d you know I was coming back?” Tom asked, a little freaked out.

“I had Ben update me since you weren’t responding to any of my texts or calls for three fucking days! Which we really need to have a chat about.” She said getting mad, then she breathed out trying to calm down and cleared her throat, “I’m just worried about you, Tommy.” She smiled at Tom and kept driving.

“Sorry I was really busy with work and they needed me to come to set early.” He lied, hiding the fact that he was trying to get away from her. He texted the, “y/n and divs,” group chat,

Tom: Hey, just landed. Allana picked me up. She's taking me back to her flat, I’ll try to be home before 8

Harrison: Oh shit good luck lol

Tom looked confused at the text. Did Harrison know something?

Tom’s heart sped up when he saw that you texted, but in a private chat.

Y/n: Make good decisions… Be safe please x

It’s the only thing you’ve said to him in a few days. He knew you’d come around eventually and your concern for his safety made him smile. ‘Wait, why is everyone texting me like embarking on a dangerous adventure?’ He thought.

“Who’re the texts from?” Allana asked.

“Oh uh nobody.” Tom quickly deleted his messages with you just in case Allana would see.

“Bull shit.” She said sternly and snatched Tom’s phone, “Ugh why does Harrison hate me so much?”

“Allana what the fuck you’re driving! What the hell is going on? You’ve been really cr- uh different since the dinner.” Her mood went from mad to sad in 0.0002 seconds as she pulled over. She sighed and said innocently,

“I-I’m sorry, Tommy. I-I guess I’ve just been so insecure ever since y/n showed up and I don’t want to lose you because you're such a great guy. And it really hurt that you left without telling me because it was our 5 month anniversary.” Tom’s eyes widened because he forgot about that and began to feel bad and sighed.

“Allana, why didn’t you just tell me that? You have no need to worry either, Y/n and I aren’t getting back together.” Tom hurt himself when he said that. He wished he could get back with you, but you just wanted to be friends. Allana perked up right away and leant over the console to give him a long kiss, but Tom cut it short, still not able to trust her. She cleared her throat and began to drive again.

“I’m going to use the loo really quick, then we can go pick up some dinner.” Allana said. Tom nodded and decided to check his security cams since he hasn’t in a while. He casually scrolled through the usual footage of the mail men and people coming into/ leaving the house, that is until he saw a video of Allana going to sit on the porch and noticed it was from the day he left. His blood began to boil when he saw Allana yank you back and say all those mean things to you.

The driver door swung open, “Ok, ready to-”

“Allana what the fucking hell is this?” Tom hissed and showed Allana the footage. Her eyes went wide,

“First off you left me without any warning. I’m your girlfriend, Tom! Second you didn’t answer any of my texts or calls on our 5 month anniversary. Third it really seems like you weren’t trying to stay away from y/n, don’t even think for a second I didn’t see what Tuwaine posted.” Tom looked at her confused, she groaned and pulled up the picture of you laying across all the boys. “Care to explain? Because I’m very close to exposing your little secret.” She said darkly.

“Allana, jeez that was before you started this insane ‘deal’ of yours. I swear.”

“Hm, you got lucky this time Tom.” She snarled. Tom was getting fed up,

“That’s it. You called y/n really rude things and would have hurt her. I can’t do this anymore you’re insa-”

“Ohp stop right there, Tommy, if you’re trying to break up with me right now remember that the ball is in my court.” Tom furrowed his brows in anger, “If you do I’ll make the story worse. I’ll go straight to TMZ and along with your past relationship I’ll tell them that you and y/n were fucking behind my back. I’ll make sure to ruin both of your careers.” Tom stayed silent.

“Oh, Tommy, don’t look so sad.” She said in a baby voice.

“I need to go. I can’t be around you right now.” Tom got out of the car and retrieved his luggage. She yelled behind him,

“Don’t forget about what I can do, Tom. I want you back at my flat tomorrow.”

Tom walked to his friend Connor’s house which was only two blocks away and knocked on the front door.

“Hold on I’m coming!” The door swung open, “Tom? Mate, it’s been so long you ok?” They bro hugged before Connor let him in.

“No actually, I uh came here for some info…” Connor raised his brow, “about Allana.”

“Oh shit, Tom. I told you you should’ve left her as soon as possible.”

“Yeah I know. I-I don’t know why I didn’t listen to anyone. I guess I just wanted to be with someone.” He sighed and his mind went to you as he plopped down on the couch.

Connor patted his back and sat next to him, “It’s ok you’re not the first guy to have troubles with Allana. Well, what’d you want to know?”

“Every single detail of her last relationship.” Tom said sternly.

“Thanks for giving me a ride home and for telling me everything, mate. I owe you.” Tom said, giving Connor a bro hug over the console.

“Don’t even worry about it. You already got yourself in quite a pickle.” Tom laughed tiredly and turned to walk to the house.

“Hey guys I’m home.” Tom said in a very unenthusiastic way. Nobody came to greet him or anything, he heard voices upstairs and decided to check it out.

“Bro, that’s sick! Do it again.” Harrison said amused.

“Haha alright I will, give me a second. Y/n, are you recording now?” This time it's a familiar American voice that’s coming through the phone. Tom walked into your room to see all the boys huddled behind you at your desk. He knocked on the door frame and everyone turned around.

“Aye look who’s back. It’s Tom!” Tuwaine cheered. Your heart skipped a beat with excitement.

“Oh, wait a sec not yet.” You said as all the boys went to greet Tom. You sat there afraid that Allana might be watching the instagram live.

“What’s going on here?” Tom asked, coming to look at your phone. He saw you were on an instagram live with Gavin Leatherwood. His heart dropped and his body began to heat up with jealousy.

“Hey, Tom! Long time no see. I was about to do a double front flip. Did you just get back from filming?” Gavin asked nicely. Tom had a straight face the entire time. You could sense Tom was not happy and you watched him closely afraid he’d do something bad.

“Yep. Filming got cancelled for me.” He said seriously and stood straight up to walk away without letting Gavin respond. ‘Well that went better than expected.’ You thought. The boys looked at him apologetically, but went back behind you to watch Gavin flip.

“Uh, Gavin, why don’t you do that flip and that’ll be the last thing because we gotta go.”

He nodded and did the flip, sticking the landing perfectly. The boys cheered and everyone in the comments went crazy.

“Nice, mate, you’re so good at that!” Harry said, clapping still. Gavin laughed,

“Thanks it took a lot of time for me to get that down. Alright you all gotta go now?” You nodded,

“Yeah sorry, it’s around dinner time here now.” You said.

“No worries! It’s breakfast time for me anyway. Text me and send me the video.” You nodded and both said your goodbyes to everyone watching the live.

“Man that was dope. Y/n, you have to get him to hang out with us when this is all over.” Haz pleaded before speaking with Tuwaine. You giggled and nodded in agreement.

“Y/n, I don’t think Tom was very happy about that.” Harry said sticking with you as Haz and Tuwaine walked ahead.

“Yeah no shit, he had a straight face the whole time. Should I talk to him?” Harry shrugged.

“Maybe? I mean it seems like he’s already had a really rough day.”

“Yeah I just don’t want to make his day worse-” Harry cut you off pointing at Tom sitting at the dinner table. He was drinking a beer and had an empty shot glass next to him,

“Looks like you should talk to him, hear him out or something. I’ll help Haz and Tuwaine cook dinner.” Harry sighed and walked to the other boys.

You nodded and made your way over to Tom rubbing his shoulder before sitting down, “Not even 20 minutes here and you’re already trying to get drunk?” You joked and he scoffed. Oof. “Wanna talk about anything?” You looked at him concerned.

“Hm yeah I do. I’ve got a lot to talk about actually, but seems like you’d much rather drool over Mr. Leatherwood instead of listen to poor old Tom.” You sighed and gave him a sad look.

“Tom, Gavin just joined my instagram live because he was bored. We were just entertaining other people.” You didn’t want to say anything more because you were worried Tom would only get more upset.

“That’s fucking bull shit.” He hissed taking another swig of beer, “He was literally just trying to impress you with his stupid flip, which isn’t even that impressive. You know I could do that too, y/n. He’s not special.” His jealousy was beginning to show. You smiled a bit at him and nodded,

“I’m sure you can do that and more, but he’s just my friend and he knows that’s all he is to me.”

“Does he really? Or are you just saying that to make me feel better? Who decided to break up first in the relationship?” His voice was raising a bit and Harrison and Tuwaine kept looking your way.

“Maybe we should take this conversation to the liv-” You said already standing up. But Tom lightly pulled your waist back down to the chair.

“No we’re going to talk about this here and now. Who decided to break up first?”

“L-like I said, it was mutual.” You said softly

“No that’s bull. I can tell you’re lying.” You shut your eyes stressed and sighed,

“Ok, I was the one that suggested it.” Tom sat back looking satisfied taking a sip of his beer.

“Ya, that’s what I thought. You don’t like staying tied down. Did you also tell him you still wanted to be friends so that you could fuck him when you’re feeling lonely?” You stared at Tom in disbelief.

“What the hell, Tom?” He snickered darkly and shook his head.

“Oh my god, you’re not even fucking denying it. You probably go around telling guys that you’d be their friend instead of straight out rejecting them so you can fuck around with their feelings and have some sex when you feel like it.” Your vision began to get blurry with every word Tom said, but you refused to cry.

“You of all people should know damn well that I’m nothing like that, Tom.” You spat

“Do I really though, y/n?” Tom said, his voice booming. The other boys all turned to you two now. “You couldn’t even tell me the truth about you and Gavin and then I see the shit Allana did to you a few days ago? Well actually none of you fuckers bothered to tell me about it.” He said turning around and pointing at the other boys. “Damn it this is my house as well!” You stared at him with apologetic eyes.

“Hey, Tom. We didn’t tell you what went down because you said needed to leave for space and we gave it to you. Don’t blame y/n for anything.” Harry said standing up for you now. Tom scoffed.

He turned back around and looked at you straight in the eyes, “What, are you getting into my friends’ minds now? I left for you, y/n. I left so that I could fix shit and all for what? Fucking lies. That’s all I get in return, and you never even communicated back to me. You were probably being petty because I left. Which again was for you damn it!” He was beginning to turn red and getting angrier by the second. Nobody was prepared for what he was about to say next.

“You know what? You’re a manipulative snake and get everyone wrapped around your little fucking finger so that they can do your work for you. You never probably even thought about how I felt about this situation or how I felt when you wanted to hide our relationship.” Tears rushed down your face now, “And you know what? I’ve fallen under your spell, but I can’t do it anymore, I’m done with your shi-”

“Tom! You fucking dickhead. You don’t even know half the shit y/n has been through after you broke up. You can’t blame her for anything when she reached out to you and you couldn’t even work up the damn courage to simply reply.” Harry walked over to you and pulled you up as he glared at his brother. “Let’s go y/n. I’ll have the boys bring us food later and we can start a movie marathon now.” He comforted you as you walked away from Tom.

“See, Harry? You’re falling for her shit too!” Tom said and Harry flipped him off. That made your heart break even more.

“Fuck!” Tom yelled and slammed his hands on the table. Haz and Tuwaine walked over to him and sat him down. All the words Tom said to you replayed in his mind and he immediately regretted saying them.

“I fucked up didn’t I?” He asked his friends with his head in his hands.

“Majorly.” Tuwaine said.

“That was really harsh, mate.” Harrison said, “Why didn’t you tell us what was going on? You never even told us how you felt after you guys broke up. You kept saying you were fine when we tried to reach out.”

Tom sighed, “That’s because I’ve never felt that much pain before. I didn’t even know it, but I’ve been numb the whole time she was gone. I-I think I stayed with Allana because she distracted me from my heartache, and look how that’s going for me now.” He looked up at his two friends with tears in his eyes.

“W-well mate I mean anyone who was born yesterday could even see that Allana was just there to keep you busy…” Harrison said and Tuwaine slapped his neck while Tom groaned.

��God, Harrison, you’re shit at this. Tom, don’t pay attention to him. The only way you can fix this is by confronting the pain, not ignoring it. No matter how painful the feelings and memories are you need to bring them out and come to terms with it.” Harrison nodded.

“Yeah, you’re not the only one who’s felt pain before. You know I’ve been numb after a bad breakup before, and you were there to help me heal. It’s gonna be difficult to get over it trust me on that, but you have us here and your family to help you. Now if you don’t mind, why don’t you tell us what you’ve felt the past 6 months so we can help now.” Tom cried more and hugged Harrison and Tuwaine.

“I feel very vulnerable right now, but thanks, you guys are the best.” They smiled and sat across from Tom to listen to his troubles.

“It’s ok to feel vulnerable sometimes.” Tuwaine said.

“Wow, I feel like shit, but also a little free.” Tom said sniffling, his eyes were beyond puffy, and they were hurting a bit. Both Haz and Tuwaine cried a bit as well.

“Yeah that was pretty heavy, but I know you’ll get through it, mate. You’re strong.” Tuwaine said with a smile and Harrison agreed,

“I think you should talk to y/n about this though. She needs to know what you’ve been feeling. Oh and of course apologize for what you said to her.” said Harrison.

Tom nodded and asked, “Do you think y/n will ever forgive me?”

“From what I know I think she’ll come around eventually, but you know her the best, mate.” Tom agreed and hoped to a high power that you’d forgive him even if it takes weeks. Tom was determined to win your trust and friendship back.

“Here take this food up to her and Harry as well.” Haz said, handing Tom two plates.

Tom lightly kicked your door because his hands were full. Harry swung the door open and clenched his jaw a bit when he saw Tom, but his expression softened when he saw how puffy and red Tom’s eyes were.

“Well you look like shit.” Harry joked, making Tom smile a bit.

“I feel like it too.” Tom said softly.

“Is that for us?” Harry asked looking at the two plates in his hands.

“Y-yeah,” Tom handed Harry the plates, “I wanted to apologize to you for being a dickhead, I get now why you guys didn’t tell me what happened.”

“We’re a bit at fault too, we should’ve thought about how you’d feel.” Tom nodded in agreement, “But you shouldn’t be apologizing to just me. You really hurt y/n’s feelings.”

“Yeah I know. I need to talk to her now.” Tom said sternly. Harry peaked back into your room and said,

“Sorry she doesn’t want to talk right now.”

“Y/n? Please let me explain everything. I-I didn’t mean what I said to you down there.” Your heart began to beat faster. The door was opened wider and you saw Tom’s tired and sad face, your heart ached, “Please, y/n, I-I need you.” You wanted to give in, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to and you shook your head.

“Tom, I’m sorry. I’m not ready to talk yet. P-please leave.” You said as tears rolled down your cheeks again, his heart dropped.

“W-well then, I’ll wait out here until you’re ready to talk.” You watched as he began to cry again and sit against the wall across from your door. Harry gave his brother an apologetic look before coming back into your room and shutting the door. He set the plates on your desk and gave you a long hug. You sobbed even more.

“H-Harry, I’m hurting.”

“Shhh, I know. I can tell Tom is hurting right now too.” He rubbed your back.

“I-I think I should leave.” You said and Harry detached from you.

“What? No you can’t do that, y/n. It’s not safe to leave the country a-and Stacy said you can’t remember?”

“No, I mean leave this house. I know it’s gonna be hard to find a place, but I’ve only caused problems and I don’t want to cause anymore conflict.” You looked at Harry sadly.

“I’m not gonna force you to stay, but running from your problems doesn’t solve anything. Remember when you told Tom that?” You nodded your head sadly. He was right, but you felt like a mess and you didn’t want the boys to have to clean you up.

- Hour and a half later -

“Love, I’m going to go to bed now. I can stay and sleep on the floor if you want.” Harry said.

“No no. It’s ok I’m feeling a lot better now. Thanks for making me feel better with Harry Potter.” You smiled at him, your eyes hurt a bit.

“No problem, love. Don’t hesitate to come to me if you need anything later tonight.” You nodded and he kissed your forehead walking away with the two empty plates. When he opened the door your heart melted seeing a sleeping Tom with an empty plate next to him.

Harry looked back at you and chuckled, “He really did wait. You want to talk to him?” You thought for a bit before sighing and nodding your head. Harry nudged Tom with his foot and he stirred awake. Tom looked surprised at you before getting up. He thanked Harry for taking his plate and walked into your room.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry-”

“Tom, before you say more, I’m going to move out.” Tom’s heart broke. He couldn’t let you leave again, not after everything he told Haz and Tuwaine.

+++

Tag list <3 : @averyfosterthoughts @thollandx @mrsjeffwittek @panicattheeverywherekid @racewife2004 @greatpizzascissorstaco @witchything @wheelertozier @runway-to-my-aid @rafficorn @jessirosebud @peterspideyy @superstarchick @jackiehollanderr @astridcommings @mineymak712 @hollands-osterfield @inhumanwithpowers @aduky @thevelvetseries @twelfthnightorwhatyouwill1998

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145 notes · View notes

fanfictionaries · 4 years

Text

Oh So Many Years: Ch. 6 - Hurts to Be Alone

Pairing: Hermione Granger x Fred Weasley

Summary:

The day has come for names to be entered and names to be called from the Goblet of Fire.

Fred ponders a relationship till then overlooked.

Hermione finds her hopes for the year crumbling.

Warnings: Swearing, Death, Smut/18+ NSFW

Author’s Note: It’s a long one, so strap in lovelies!

I update every week before midnight on Sundays (US MST)! Please feel free to like, comment, and reblog! xoxo

Masterlist

<< Chapter 5

Take from me what you can hold The things I need, already sold I'll try to be somebody else Or find new ways to be myself

It was warm in the messy confines of Fred’s dormitory that Saturday morning. Every day the stove placed in the center of the room heated the small space perfectly, making the thought of leaving his bed inconceivable. Today was no different from any other day. Rolling over onto his side, Fred pulled back the curtains surrounding his bed and squinted as the sunlight assaulted his eyes. The grounds were grey and hazy. Clouds sat low and full in the sky, threatening to drop heavy rain at any moment. Fred watched a single droplet of condensation make its slow descent down the windowpane before letting the curtain fall back into place. Encompassed in darkness once again, he closed his eyes. Today was the day.

“Oi! Freddie! Get out of bed, you lazy arse—" George laughed, hitting the curtains near his face “—It’s already half past ten!”

Half past ten? Had he really slept that late? Usually he was the early riser between him and his brother – always waking up first to putz around until the rest of the world joined him. But his eyes didn’t finally close until nearly four in the morning after returning to the tower from his nighttime stroll with Granger. The moment his head hit the pillow he couldn’t stop thinking about the goblet and the tournament, and most importantly the money. Merlin, they needed that money. Then of course there was the thought of a small bushy-haired second year Granger sneaking into Professor Snape’s office. Every time he tried to clear his mind, visions of the determined look on her face as she tiptoed into the greasy professor’s private store of ingredients filled his head.

“Seriously, get up! I’m hungry and I will leave you!” George threatened, pulling back the curtains completely, blinding Fred in the process. He let out a startled cry.

“Up!” George said exasperatedly, placing his hands on his hips. Fred tried very hard not to laugh at his brother but couldn’t help it.

“What’s so funny?” George asked, leaning further into one hip.

“I hate to break it to you brother, but you may as well be mum right now,” informed Fred as he sat up.

George looked from Fred to his hands placed stubbornly on his hips and gasped.

“Dear god, all this time I was worried about turning into dad, and somewhere along the way I’ve turned into mum!” cried George, mortified at his realization.

“Well, as long as you can cook like her, I’m not complaining. Do you think you’ll wear the apron too?”

“Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny,” George replied.

Fred pulled his covers back and swung his legs off the bed. His eyes felt heavy and gritty, like they were full of sand. Stupid Granger with her curly hair and her freckly nose, wandering the castle late at night. It was her fault that he hadn’t slept well. He stood and stretched his arms high above his head, feeling the muscles in his back give and pull. He really needed to start exercising again. With the quidditch season canceled due to the tournament, there was really no reason for him and George to go out flying and hit bludgers every day. He missed it and so did his body, as he could already feel himself getting weaker. With a yawn, he walked over to his trunk and grabbed some clothes.

“Ready for today, Freddie ol’ boy?” asked George. He was pacing the small dormitory, excitement coursing through him.

“Yeah,” Fred responded, pulling his shirt over his head.

“Just yeah? Come on! We’re about to make history brother! The brilliant Weasley twins that fooled Dumbledore himself!” George grabbed Fred by the shoulders and shook him. Fred rolled his eyes with a smile on his face.

“Well when that happens you can have all the fame and glory. As long as I get to keep all the gold,” wagered Fred, slipping his shoes on and pulling a jumper on as well. He grabbed his robes and slipped his arms through the sleeves as he headed towards the door, George following closely behind him.

They walked towards the Great Hall, George jabbering a mile a minute about what people would say when they managed to get their names in at only sixteen years old. As they grew nearer, Fred’s nerves began to take over. What if it didn’t work? What if they failed? Why hadn’t they thought of an alternative incase the aging potion didn’t work? Fred could feel the small glass vial in his pocket, bouncing off his thigh as they descended the staircase. Absentmindedly he slipped his hand into the pocket of his robe and palmed the small vessel. His stomach flipped and his hand grew sweaty around the glass. He retracted his hand quickly, a stinging sensation lasting on his fingers tips as if the vial had burned his flesh. Before he knew it, they were at the entrance of the Great Hall and the Goblet of Fire stood before them. Students, Hogwarts and visiting schools alike, filled the entrance space. Some sat on the floor, others stood casually, but all watched the goblet as each brave individual walked up and placed their name into its glowing depths. Fred of course, had seen the goblet the night before at dinner, but that morning it stood more ominous and magnificent than before. Carved out of an ancient wood, it stood solid and archaic. A crystal blue light emanated from within it, swirling up every time someone placed a slip of parchment inside.

“There they are!” Fred heard his younger brother shout and turned to his left. Ron, Harry, and Hermione were headed in their direction, Ron leading the pack with great enthusiasm.

“Do you have it?” Ron asked, referring to the potion that sat sagely in his and George’s pockets.

“Sure do,” Fred said, pushing his worries down and pulling the vial from his pocket with great flourish.

“And you think it’ll work?” Ron looked up at them expectantly.

“Of course, little brother. Cooked it up just last night,” George remarked cockily.

“Where’s mine?” Ron asked in confusion.

“Excuse me?” Fred and George scoffed together.

“You said that you’d make me some!” Ron exclaimed, his face scrunching in anger.

“Now why would we ever do a thing like that Georgie?” Fred asked, finding a comforting distraction in tormenting his baby brother.

“I don’t know Freddie. I think he’s gone mad,” George responded.

Fred shared a smile with George before looking back down at Ron, whose face was a brilliant shade of red. It was clear he felt cheated by them. It was true that in the excitement of it all, Fred and George agreed to make him a dose of aging potion as well. George had been all too ready, but Fred remembered just how livid their mum would be if they succeeded and her little dim-witted Ronikins somehow got his name chosen. She would have killed them. So, at Fred’s suggestion, they did not make any extra potion for Ron.

“Don’t worry Ronald, it’s not going to work anyways,” the haughty little voice of Hermione Granger piped up as she stepped forward and placed her hand on Ron’s shoulder. Fred eyed her hand curiously; he couldn’t recall ever seeing Granger touch Ron before, aside from hitting him of course.

“Oh really? And why is that Granger?” George swooped in, coming around to her side.

“Yeah, Granger. Why?” asked Fred. He followed his twin’s lead, pushing past Ron so they surrounded the young witch. He hoped his voice held the same cock-sure confidence that George’s did, for beneath it all he secretly hoped to know exactly why she didn’t think it would work. Hermione scoffed and pointed towards the goblet to their left.

“Do you see that surrounding the Goblet? —" She moved her hand, mimicking the circular shape of the glowing blue line on the stone floor “—That is an age line. Professor Dumbledore drew it himself.”

“So?” Fred asked indignantly. He looked around and noticed a crowd had begun to form, watching the conversation between them and the brightest witch of their age. Fred steeled himself, unwilling to look like a nervous prat in front of all his peers.

Hermione scoffed again. “So, only someone as pathetically dimwitted as yourselves would think that it could possibly be fooled by something as simple as an aging potion.”

“Ahhhh but that’s why it’s so brilliant, Granger,” George laughed, leaning in.

“Because it’s so pathetically dim-witted,” finished Fred, gripping the vial of aging potion tighter in his palm. The pair stepped up to the blue line, all eyes trained on them as they uncorked their vials in synchronized flair.

“Ready Freddie?”

Fred took a deep breath and looked at his brother before turning back to the potion in his hand. “Ready Georgie.”

“Bottoms up!” the two exclaimed before tipping the vials past their lips. The cool liquid slid down Fred’s throat with ease, settling in his stomach in a warm pool. Fred tried to feel if the potion had worked. He certainly didn’t feel any older. Although why would he? It was only supposed to age them by a few months. Then, taking quite literally a leap of faith, he hopped over the line. Feet planted firmly onto the concrete; Fred let out a breath of relief when he met no resistance. Whoops and whistles erupted from the room as Fred and George shared a small silent victory. Reaching into his pocket, he grabbed the small slip of parchment with his name on it and locked eyes with George as their hands hovered over the goblet. With a nod, they let go. The papers floated into the blue fire. Fred held his breath and…nothing. His heart lifted with joy; they had done it! He couldn’t believe it! Turning towards the crowd, he raised his fists above his head as cheers continued. Everyone was clapping; everyone except Hermione Granger.

She smirked at him—a secret only she was partial to written on her face. Then he felt a strong grip around his middle. Like a giant’s hand it lifted him into the air and threw him across the room. Fred landed hard on the ground, cushioned only partially by another body who turned out to be George. Except it wasn’t really George. He was older and grey, with a long beard. Horrified, Fred reached up and felt his own face. Sure enough, his hands found long scraggly whiskers. The room, which previously roared with cheers of triumph, had gone silent. However, the silence did not last for long. Very quickly, laughter took its place.

“You said it would work!” Fred shouted at George, leaping forward, and wrestling him backwards.

“You agreed with me!” George retorted, rolling them over so he was on top, knee placed in Fred’s chest as he stubbornly tried to knock George upside the head.

“Gentlemen!” The stern voice of Professor McGonagall resonated through the entrance to the Great Hall. Fred and George froze. Their head of house stood above them – dark hair pulled into a severe bun at the nape of her neck, and arms crossed disapprovingly. A thick scowl marked her face.

“I suggest the two of you take yourselves up to the hospital wing and quit making a fool of yourselves and your house, before I feel inclined to subtract five points from each of you.” Her eyes narrowed behind her spectacles as she waited for them to stand. Slowly Fred drug himself to his feet and held out a hand for George. His brother took it reluctantly. Neither of them enjoyed the long walk of shame down the halls on their way to the hospital wing. Giggles followed; mocking them as they went. Of course, the two did their best to play the faux pas off as if it were nothing. They winked and waved at those they passed, knowing that in the grand scheme of things it really could be worse.

Several hours later Fred and George were still in the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey had been kind enough to allow them to wait there as they made the slow transition from old men to teenagers. He and George were on good terms once again as they were never actually mad at each other in the first place. They even found a way to laugh at the position they had gotten themselves into. The two were very pleased to see that they would, in fact, one day be able to grow beards as glorious as their headmaster himself. George made a comment about how handsome they were, even at age eighty. Fred joked that they would still be able to woo the ladies whilst in their nursing homes. They laughed. Now George lay dozing across the room in his bed and Fred sat twiddling his fingers, bored out of his mind. He thoughts drifted but never landed on a single topic as he stared at the ceiling above him. So far lost in his head, he didn’t even notice someone entering the room until a hand on his shoulder startled him out of his stupor.

“There you are.” Angelina smiled. Fred smiled back scooting over on the small hospital bed for Angelina to sit. Effortlessly she slid in next to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

“Come to visit me in my time of need?” asked Fred smugly.

“More like I heard what happened and had to see for myself—” smirked Angelina “—You look ridiculous by the way.

Fred picked up a tray from his bedside table and held it in front of his face. In the shiny metal he could just make out his warped reflection staring back at him. He certainly did look ridiculous. His usually bright ginger hair was speckled with patches of snow white. The beard was halfway gone, leaving long white mutton chops on the sides of his face. There was still the faintest trace of wrinkles near his eyes, but they had almost completely disappeared on the rest of his face. Fred couldn’t help but laugh at just how hilarious he looked. So hilarious, that he began to think of ways to replicate the look for a possible W.W.W. product.

“When I heard what happened I was devastated that I hadn’t been there to see it myself,” teased Angelina.

“Well I’m glad you weren’t. You do not need that kind of leverage over me. It’s bad enough that Hermione—”

“Hermione?”

“Granger—” Fred corrected himself “—she told us from the start that it wasn’t going to work. Looks like she was right. Like always.” He rolled his eyes.

“Since when do you spend time with the resident Golden Girl?” Angelina asked, her face one of curiosity.

“I don’t really. It was more just a thing in passing. You know how she always has to give her opinion,” responded Fred picking at the skin around his thumb. “So, if you weren’t there this morning, where were you?” he asked, changing the subject.

“I was out on the pitch, getting in some practice. It’s absolutely rubbish that quidditch was canceled this year. I don’t know what to do with myself.” Angelina frowned.

“Well you did put your name into the goblet, didn’t you? You could be doing that this year,” Fred suggested, turning his head to look at her. The corners of her lips rose into a sweet smile.

“Yeah, maybe. D’you reckon I’d be good enough to win if I got chosen?”

“Of course!”

“You really think so?”

“Absolutely. I think you’re brilliant, you know that Angie.” Fred wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. Angelina rested her head on his chest and sighed. They sat there for a while. George’s soft snores lilted through the room, filling the silence, and Fred began to think again. It was nice having Angelina in his arms; it felt comfortable and easy. But there was an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach, almost like the feeling he got when he made mum cry. Fred wracked his brain for why he would be feeling something like that but when he came up empty, he simply chocked it up to a side effect of the spell backfire.

“I’m not sleeping with you until you’re back to normal by the way,” said Angelina, breaking the silence.

“What?! That’s an absolute outrage Miss Johnson!” Fred sat up, positioning himself so he hovered over the pretty girl.

“Oh really?” She raised an eyebrow in playful defiance.

“Really. I won’t stand for it,” Fred jested.

“How about just a kiss then to compromise,” Angelina proposed.

“I guess. I’ll take what I can get,” Fred sighed dramatically, sending Angelina into a fit of giggles as Fred leaned down to press his lips gently to hers. It was a sweet kiss, just the soft brush of lips that lasted for a moment. When it ended Fred rolled onto his back and Angelina slipped her hand into his. The churning in his stomach returned. They laid there for a while, enjoying each other’s embrace, until Angelina stood and made her goodbyes. It wasn’t until she exited the hospital wing that George magically awoke.

“Ahhh young love,” sighed George, sitting up and stretching. “But wait, there seems to be trouble in paradise. What seems to be disrupting the natural chemistry of the happy couple?” he asked, his tone mocking but expression one of genuine concern.

“What are you talking about?” asked Fred, raising an eyebrow at his brother.

“Don’t play dumb with me Freddie; you’re too good at it.”

“Come now. We both know I’m the brains of this operation. Calling me dumb would just insult you more than me.”

“You’re avoiding the subject.”

“I’m not avoiding anything!”

“Ah and now he’s defensive.”

“I am NOT—” it was at that point Fred realized he was being defensive “—fine. Nothing is really…wrong exactly. It’s just things with Angelina, well I don’t—”

“—think you want to sleep with her anymore?” George finished his sentence for him, looking at Fred like he was an idiot.

“I don’t know. I think it’s just been an off day,” muttered Fred, rolling onto his side.

George raised his hands in surrender. “Alright, alright. No need to pout. I was merely suggesting that perhaps you’re getting cold feet because it’s obvious Angelina wants something more than just a quick shag in a secret passageway these days.”

Fred grimaced. “We shag once in the passageway behind Gregory the Smarmy and you never let me live it down!”

“Only because I had the unfortunate luck of walking in on it!”

The two stared at each other for a long moment before bursting into laughter. As their laughs trickled into contented sighs, the two laid back in their respective beds with a new-found ease.

“Do you really think she wants something more?” asked Fred, feeling the churning in his stomach begin again.

“You don’t see any of the girls I’m shagging coming in and holding my hand.”

Fred chuckled, “That’s because you’re not shagging anyone.”

“Well no, but still…”

“Yeah, still.”

Fred pondered on the thought for a while. Angelina Johnson wanted to be his girlfriend. He supposed he could do a lot worse. She was pretty – prettiest girl in their year if he was being honest, fun – she never ragged on him or George for being troublemakers, and she liked quidditch – probably more than he did. No, as far as girlfriends went, Angelina Johnson was probably the best possible option he could think of. So, despite the persistent churning in his stomach, he concluded that when the time came, he wouldn’t be opposed to calling Angelina his girlfriend. With that problem solved he moved onto his next issue. The money. How were they ever going to afford their dreams when they just lost their only other option? Ludo Bagman had yet to answer their owl and at this point they were beginning to think the leprechaun money mix-up might not have been a mix-up at all.

“What are we going to do now Georgie?” Fred asked, shifting his eyes from the ceiling to his twin.

“I don’t know mate. I’m not really a relationship expert,” laughed George.

Fred rolled his eyes with a smile. “I mean about the money you prat. The only reason we wanted to compete in the tournament was for the money. Now that it’s out of the picture, we’re at a bit of a loss.”

“Speak for yourself. I was in it for the fame and nothing more!” George joked before returning to a more serious note. “Don’t worry brother. We’ll figure something out. We always do. We’re much too clever to sit around and wait for a solution.” His words were reassuring but Fred knew George was just as disappointed as him. And the only thing worse than feeling hopeless was knowing his brother felt just as bad. Springing to his feet, Fred reached for his shoes.

“Come on then old man,” said Fred, tying his laces.

“Where are you going?” George asked in confusion.

“Not me – we. We are going to go have fun and forget about all this for a while.” Fred stood and threw on his robes before looking back at his twin who was now getting to his feet as well. Once George’s shoes were laced up and his robes were on, they exited the hospital wing. Fred glanced at his brother as they strolled down the halls and smirked. While his appearance was almost completely back to normal, grey still speckled George’s hair giving him a distinguished look. Perhaps that’s what they would look like in fifteen or twenty years when they were adults with jobs and families of their own.

“So, what’s on the agenda Freddie? A few Whizz Poppers in the prefects’ bath? Portable Swamp in Filch’s office? Some Ton-Tongue Toffee for the first years?” mused George as they strolled.

“Nope, flying,” Fred responded, steering them towards the quidditch pitch. George nodded in approval.

“Ahhh, some old school entertainment. Couldn’t think of anything better brother.”

Hermione sat at the Gryffindor table with Harry and Ron, debating excitedly over who they thought the goblet would choose to compete in the tournament. Ron of course was certain Viktor Krum would be chosen for Durmstrang. They had witnessed the Bulgarian enter his name shortly after McGonagall sent the twins to the hospital wing after their…unfortunate mishap. Hermione smiled at the memory. Few things fill her with pure joy and apparently watching the Weasley twins completely and utterly embarrass themselves was one of them. They, of course, were making the best of the situation. The minute they sat down in the Great Hall they began making jokes at their own expense, beating everyone to the punch. It was annoyingly charming.

“But Krum is the obvious choice!” Ron bellowed, beating his fist down on the table for emphasis.

“On what grounds Ronald?” Hermione asked. She made sure to lean towards him as she spoke, taking up his full attention like she’d been instructed to do. She still wasn’t sure how good her roommates advise was, but it was certainly better than carrying on as she had been.

“Okay! That’s it! I can’t take it anymore,” exclaimed Lavender, throwing up her hands.

Hermione who had been quietly seated in the small windowsill reading from her arithmancy book, looked over to her roommate with mild interest.

“Lav, really. Just let it go. It doesn’t matter,” said Pavarti, brushing another coat of Wicked Witches’ Pigmy Puff Powder Blue nail polish onto her left thumb.

“No! I’m fed up with it!”

Hermione was just about to inquire as to who or what she was fed up with, when she made the gut-wrenching realization that Lavender was talking about her. Lavender Brown, the pretty fourth year with her golden-brown hair stomped in her direction in a huff. Crookshanks, who had been dozing peacefully in Hermione’s lap, leapt to his feet, and stared untrustingly at Lavender, his tail raised high swishing back and forth.

“Listen, Hermione, I realize not everyone has the fortitude to study as much as you do, but this really has to stop. I thought last year was bad, but at least you had the common decency to sleep during regular human hours!”

“Lav—”

“No! Someone needs to tell her,” said Lavender to Fay, who had very kindly tried to halt Lavender’s beratement. “You’re up at all hours of the night studying or mumbling to yourself under your breath the way you always do. You come and go from the room at the oddest hours. It’s interrupting with all our sleep! I know getting good marks is important to you, but you can’t possibly need to study this much!”

“I think what Lavender is trying to say—” said Fay, sending a pointed stare in Lavender’s direction “—is that we’re worried about you. What’s going on Hermione? You can tell us.”

Hermione looked to Fay in appreciation. She always liked Fay the most out of all her roommates. Fay Dunbar was a spunky girl who spent most of her time with their fifth roommate, a mousy ginger girl named Emmy, who hardly ever spoke. But that didn’t seem to matter as Fay did most of the talking for her, always chatting on about quidditch or Gobstones. While Lavender and Pavarti were interested in things Hermione labeled as silly, Fay was at least capable of conversation that didn’t lead to hair, clothes, boys, or a combination of all three. In fact, Fay’s goal to one day be an auror led to many interesting conversations about their Defense Against the Dark Arts class. Now, for once she wished Fay had kept quiet. Lavender and Pavarti didn’t care why Hermione wasn’t sleeping these days. They only cared how it affected them. However, now that Fay had inquired on her well-being, she had to come up with something to say. For a moment she contemplated on just telling them the truth about her nightmares. But then an even better idea popped into her head. It was in that moment Hermione realized she could use Lavender’s own trivial interests to kill two birds with one stone. So, with a heavy sigh, Hermione placed her book down next to her and buried her face in her hands.

“I’m so sorry Lavender. It’s just that…well I’ve been having a bit of boy trouble…” Hermione trailed off, fighting off a satisfied smirk when Lavender’s eyes widened in interest.

“Ooooo,” squealed Lavender, rushing forward to sit on the rug in front of Hermione. Pavarti joined her, looking equally as excited. “Hermione Granger having boy troubles? I never would have imagined!”

Even Fey and Emmy perked up from their beds, looking to Hermione with interest. Hermione took a deep breath, situating herself so sat upright, Crookshanks lying comfortable in her lap again.

“Well I guess it all started with this dream I had…”

Hermione went on to paint a lamenting tale of girl likes boy, girl thinks boy might like her, but then boy makes stupid comment about another girl. She stretched the story to encapsule the whole two months they’d been in school, instead of merely the past forty-eight hours, but kept almost all the details the same. Hermione figured it couldn’t hurt to seek advice about her recent Ron-related issue, and she also felt Lavender might be kinder about her unusual sleeping patterns if it were over something she could relate to – such as a boy. Looking at the contemplative looks on Lavender and Pavarti’s faces, she knew she had been right.

“Oh Hermione, we had no idea!” Lavender exclaimed, pushing up onto her knees and wrapping her arms around Hermione in a big hug. Hermione, unused to such physical contact, stiffened for a moment before reciprocating the kind gesture.

“Boys are so stupid!” Pavarti cried, rolling her eyes, and falling onto her back in the middle of the rug.

“I don’t get it,” said Fay scrunching her eyebrows. “How do you know the dream was about Ron when you never saw his face?”

Hermione shrugged. “I had the same thought, but I came to the conclusion that there wasn’t really anyone else it could have been.”

“I don’t know…those older boys. Fred and George. They’re pretty cute,” remarked Emmy quietly with a giggle. The girls turned to Emmy with amazement at her declaration.

“Isn’t that considered incest or something?” Fay asked cheekily.

Emmy grabbed a pillow and threw it at her friend. “Not all gingers are related you twit!”

Fay laughed, using the beater bat beside her bed to block the pillow, sending it back towards Emmy.

“Hmmm Fred and George are cute, but they’re so unruly,” said Lavender scrunching her nose at the thought. Then, turning her attention back to Hermione she took a much more serious tone, “I’m glad you came to us with this problem Hermione. Really, I wish you had asked us sooner, but all the same I’m here to help now!”

Hermione braced herself for the advice that was about to come.

“I think what you need is a makeover!”

At the mention of a makeover, Pavarti perked up, propping herself on her elbows and smiling widely.

“I don’t know how comfortable I am with that Lavender…” said Hermione, suddenly regretting her decision to turn to her roommates for advice on the matter.

“You’re right. I don’t any of us could afford the amount of Sleekeazy’s it would take the tame your hair anyways—” Lavender bit her lip in thought as Hermione let the mild insult roll off her back “—oh! I’ve got it! You just need to make yourself known!”

“I’m pretty sure Ron knows who she is,” laughed Fay.

“Well yes, but only as a friend,” sighed Lavender in Fay’s direction. “What you need to do is make yourself known as a woman.” Lavender waggled her eyebrows at the word.

“A woman? How would I do that?” asked Hermione, finally intrigued by Lavender’s insight.

“It doesn’t have to be anything big. It can be small things like touching his shoulder, laughing at his jokes, standing close to him. Anything to make him notice you as something other than another one of his mates. His fascination with the French girls will fade eventually, but you have the opportunity to make a lasting impression.”

“Well, I suppose that doesn’t sound too hard.”

That whole morning she’d been attempting to follow Lavender’s advice. Every opportunity she encountered, she made sure to touch Ron in some small way. She stood close to him when walking from the common room to the Great Hall. And when they sat down at the Gryffindor table, she made sure to squeeze as close as possible to his side without it being odd.

“Yeah, are you about to tell us you know more about the inner workings of the Goblet of Fire than the rest of us?” asked Ginny, backing Hermione’s question up with a roll of her eyes.

“I bet you a week’s worth of chores this summer that Krum’s name gets called for Durmstrang,” challenged Ron to his sister. The fiery girl’s eyes lit up and she thrust out her hand.

“Make it a month and you’re on,” she countered. They shook hands.

“Hey Granger—” Hermione turned to her left at the sound of Fred’s voice “—bet you ten knuts that Ginny wins.”

Hermione shook her head, “I don’t gamble Frederick.”

“What? Too good for a little wager but not too good to steal?”

Hermione should have known she’d regret telling him about her second-year escapades. She just never assumed it would be so soon. By the time she ran into Fred in the hallway the night before, she had worked herself into such a frenzy over Ron, she really would have done anything for Fred’s approval. Now, she couldn’t understand why she would want his approval in the first place. Still, that didn’t stop her next words from tumbling from her mouth.

“Ten knuts and a week’s supply of sugar quills,” she said, before turning her attention back to her friends around her.

“Who do you think’ll get picked for Hogwarts?” asked Harry, picking at the remnants of his treacle tart.

“Well statistically, the Slytherins have an advantage,” stated Hermione. “They had the most students enter.”

The table around her collectively groaned.

“Well if it is one of the Slytherins I hope they lose,” grimaced Harry.

“Yea, I’d rather have Beauxbatons or Durmstrang win before giving the Slytherins one more thing to inflate their egos,” Seamus interjected across from them. They all laughed.

It was then that the expanse of the Great Hall tables cleared, catching Hermione off guard. Regretfully, she wished she had taken one more bite of her pumpkin pasty. Dumbledore stood, extinguishing all but a few of the candles in the room with a flick of his wand. Madame Maxime, headmistress of Beauxbatons and Igor Karkaroff remained seated at his sides looking stiff. Further down the table two ministry officials, Ludo Bagman and Bartemius Crouch wore very different expressions. Ludo Bagman appeared as though any moment he was going to bounce right out of his seat in excitement. Mister Crouch on the other hand, couldn’t look any more bored if he tried. With the Great Hall now cast in eerie opacity, the students were quite silent. The whole room sat on edge as they watched the stately Hogwarts headmaster levitate the Goblet of Fire through the hall till it was front and center for all to see.

“I do believe the goblet is almost ready to make its decision. I estimate we have two minutes to spare,” declared the eccentric Headmaster. He then went on introduce Mr. Crouch and Mr. Bagman, explaining they would be acting as impartial judges for the tournament along with the three headmasters. Hermione nodded, finding that incredibly fair and well thought out. Dumbledore then instructed that those whose names were called from the goblet would exit the Hall through a side door into the next chamber where they would wait for further instructions. After this last bit of information, the room returned to silence. All eyes remained on the goblet, the occasional student checked their watches, waiting for the longest two minutes of their lives to pass. Then, the icy blue light within the goblet transitioned to a brilliant red. So brilliant and alive it was if a fire burned deep inside of it. Sparks floated out from the top before a tongue of flames lapped through the air. The whole room gasped. When the flames were gone, the only thing remaining was a small bit of charred parchment floating down towards the stone floor.

Dumbledore caught the paper effortlessly and read from it before looking back into the crowd and decreeing in a boisterous voice, “The Durmstrang champion is, VIKTOR KRUM!”

The room erupted into applause, Ron’s being some of the loudest, rivaling all the Durmstrang students put together. Krum stood and walked to the front of the hall, his fists raised high in triumph and then disappeared into the next chamber. Hermione looked across from her to see Ginny’s head in her hands. Briefly she cast a glance in Fred’s direction. He was already looking at her.

“I expect those sugar quills by next Hogsmeade weekend Frederick,” said Hermione before turning back to the front of the room.

As soon as Krum disappeared into the adjoining chamber, the cheers died down and all eyes were back on the goblet in anticipation. They didn’t have to wait long. A few moments later, flames shot from the goblet, this time almost licking the ceiling.

“The champion for Beauxbatons is, FLEUR DELACOUR!” cried Dumbledore.

At the announcement, Harry and Ron lit up. Ron seemed even happier than when Viktor’s name was called, and Hermione felt a sinking feeling form in the pit of her stomach. Lavender and Pavarti caught her eye as Ron cheered, giving her a sympathetic look. Looking away from them, she watched as the girl, who uncannily resembled a Veela, gracefully glided up to the front of the room. Hermione glanced back at the rest of the students from Beauxbatons. They were devastated. Two girls who had not been chosen were in tears, a full meltdown threatening to occur. Hermione rolled her eyes so hard, she risked getting them stuck in the back of her head. So much for school spirit, she thought.

Once Fleur was gone from the room as well, everyone was once again watching the goblet. This was the moment they had really been waiting for – the Hogwarts champion. Flames shot up into the air for the third and final time, expelling another charred bit of parchment. It floated gently into Dumbledore’s hand. The headmaster spent a bit longer looking over the name this time, no doubt for added effect, before smiling and turning to the crowd.

“The champion for Hogwarts is, CEDRIC DIGGORY!”

The Hufflepuff table erupted into cheers so loud, you would have thought they were triple their size. They jumped and stomped and clapped more enthusiastically than anymore at Hogwarts had ever seen. Hermione clapped as well as the handsome Hufflepuff boy stood, all smiles as he walked to the front of the Great Hall. He shook Dumbledore’s hand enthusiastically and headed towards the door behind the teacher’s table. The cheering continued for some time, only halting when Dumbledore called for attention. Pleasantly, Hermione thought of how excited Diggory’s dad would be, having seen just how proud a father he was that summer.

“Excellent!” Dumbledore called elatedly. “We now have our three champions and I am hoping that each and every one of you will carry on this enthusiasm throughout the year. Your support can make—" his voice cut off. Students gasped in surprise as the goblet began to glow for a fourth time. Hermione frowned; something wasn’t right. Sparks soared, a large flame shot into the air, and with it came a fourth piece of parchment. Dumbledore seized the parchment, his face blank. He stared at the name, and the room stood still.

Finally, Dumbledore cleared his throat and spoke.

“Harry Potter.”

The room stayed silent, stunned by the name that had just left the headmaster’s mouth. Hermione turned and stared at her best friend. Her heart fell. His face was filled with shock and confusion as he stared back at her and then at Ron.

“I didn’t put my name in,” Harry stated to himself more than to them. Hermione was at a loss for words. What she wanted to say was that she believed him. That she knew that he would never put his name in, but her throat closed, and she froze.

At Harry’s delay, Dumbledore called his name again, louder and forbidding. Harry looked from Dumbledore to his two best friends, desperation emanating from every part of his being. His eyes pleaded with them, begged them for help.

“Harry, go up,” Hermione told him, finally finding her voice and wishing she could say something better; wishing he didn’t have to go but knowing it was the only thing he could do at the moment. Truthfully, she wanted to grab him and pull him out of the room. She wanted to look every last person in the eye, Dumbledore included, and tell them no. No, Harry Potter’s name was not called. Harry Potter’s name was not called, and he will not be competing. You’ve made a mistake.

She watched with teary eyes as Harry stood shakily and walked to the front. As he moved, students began to yell out in anger. Shouts of ‘cheat’ and outcries that he wasn’t ‘even seventeen yet’ were heard from every part of the Great Hall. Hermione looked away; she couldn’t watch her best friend walk into a death trap as students ridiculed him. Instead she stared blankly at the table in front of her and worried her lip. Maybe they wouldn’t let him compete. Clearly some kind of mistake or foul play was at hand here. Dumbledore was a rational man. He wouldn’t possibly send a fourteen-year-old boy to compete in a deadly tournament. It was just crazy! Yes, Dumbledore would fix this. He would protect Harry. Hermione continued to reason with herself, telling herself that things would be alright and that everything would turn out okay, until she felt Ron shaking her shoulder.

“You alright Hermione?” Ron asked, looking at her apprehensively.

“Yes, yes I’m fine,” she responded, running her hands over her hair which suddenly felt twice its normal size. It always seemed to do that when she was stressed. Ron nodded.

“Ready to go?” he pointed towards the large double door entrance of the Great Hall. Hermione looked between it and the side door Harry had disappeared through.

“Shouldn’t someone wait for Harry?” she suggested. Ron made a sour face.

“Nah, he’ll be alright. Who knows how long it’ll take anyway. Let’s just go back to the tower.” He rubbed at his nose, making the skin all pink and flushed. Hermione was hesitant to agree but Ron had a point. They had no idea how long Harry would be and of course they would be there in the tower when he got back. So, she got to her feet and walked with Ron back up to the tower. Upon arriving, Ron exited up the stairs to his room without a single word to her. This struck Hermione as very odd, but Ron’s problems were the least of her worries now. Instead she ran up to her room and pulled out the book she had checked out on the Triwizard Tournament at the beginning of the term. She was going to wait for Harry and while she did, she was going to do the thing she did best – research. She had to find out why this happened and how to get Harry out of it. Many hours later, when the common room was empty, all the other students having trickled off to bed, Hermione decided to turn in. It was half past one and Harry had yet to return but she figured she’d catch him in the morning. Merlin knew she would be awake.

The next morning Hermione arose at her usual ungodly hour, despite having stayed up so late, and went down to the common room to wait for Harry. Her nerves were still recovering from her nightly bad dream when she spotted him coming down the stairs looking very angry. She waved to him, but instead of greeting her back, he walked past her and through the portrait exit. Hermione stood, slinging her bag over her shoulder, and chased after him. On the second floor, she finally managed to catch up to him.

“Harry!” she called after the black-haired boy. He stopped, his shoulders slumping and then pulling back up, squaring himself. He turned around and faced her.

“What Hermione?” he asked, his tone short and filled with annoyance. Hermione took a step back, affronted by his tone. He hadn’t spoken to her like that since she told Professor McGonagall about the broomstick Sirius sent him third year. What had she done?

“What’s wrong?” she asked, realizing how dumb her question was the minute it left her mouth. But his immediate hostility had thrown her for a loop, and she hadn’t known what else to say.

“What’s wrong? Are you serious Hermione? What’s wrong?—" Harry looked at her as if she were as stupid as Crabbe and Goyle “—Let’s see: for one, my name was entered into the Goblet of Fire and called last night, now I’m competing in a tournament that is potentially deadly, and to top it all off my best friend thinks I had something to do with the whole thing!”

Ron. So that’s why Ronald was so angry the night before. It also explained why he hadn’t wanted to wait for Harry either.

“He what? What did he say?” Hermione asked, feeling like she could throttle the red headed dunce.

“He thinks I entered my name into the goblet! Or at least got someone else to do it and he’s mad that I didn’t tell him how I did it.” Harry ran his hands through his messy hair, revealing the scar on his forehead briefly before the dark locks fell back into place.

“Are you sure you have no idea how your name got entered?” Hermione asked, trying to make sense of it all.

“Are you serious?!” Harry exclaimed.

“What?” Hermione looked at her best friend in confusion, now feeling just about as stupid as Crabbe and Goyle.

“You think I had something to do with this too!” he accused her, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Harry, I never said—"

“No, but you didn’t have to. Merlin, you’re just as bad as Ron! You know, I thought you’d at least believe me, but I guess I was wrong… Just leave me alone Hermione.” and with that Harry walked away leaving Hermione in the corridor alone and completely lost. She stormed back to the tower in a blinding rage, hoping that Ron hadn’t left for breakfast yet. Lucky for her the Weasley in question was sat in a chair with Seamus and Dean chatting and laughing as if he hadn’t a care in the world. Marching over, blood boiling, Hermione grabbed Ron by the ear and dragged him out of the common room and towards the corridor. She could hear Ron’s yelps of protest and see the strange looks from their fellow Gryffindors, but she didn’t care. When they were finally in the safety of the empty corridor, she released him.

“Bloody hell Hermione! What’s wrong with you?” Ron yelled, rubbing his ear.

“Did you seriously accuse Harry of putting his own name into the goblet?!” Hermione cried exasperatedly. Ron looked at her, his expression stony.

“I don’t think it Hermione, I know it.”

“You can’t be serious!”

“You know, this is typical of you Hermione!” Ron yelled back.

“What?!” Hermione responded, feeling like she had had enough whiplash that morning to last her a lifetime.

“You’re always against me! You never take my side!”

“I’d take your side more often if you weren’t always wrong Ronald!”

“Oh, I’m always wrong? You know, you’re not as smart as you like to think you are.”

“Well I think you’re being a horrible friend right now to Harry.” Hermione crossed her arms, ignoring the insult Ron had just accosted her with. She wasn’t there for herself. She was there for Harry.

“Well I think you’re being a horrible friend to me!”

“This isn’t about you Ronald!”

“It’s never about me! It’s always about Harry! It’s not enough that he’s the Boy Who Lived, now he’s had to go and make this about him!” Ron was red in the face now.

“He didn’t put his name in!” Hermione yelled, knowing she might as well be arguing with a wall at that point.

“You know, if you really feel that way then why don’t you go find Mr. Boy Wonder and talk to him!” Ron yelled with finality and stormed back into the common room.

Hermione felt exhausted. She had such high hopes for the year and now in a matter of twenty-four hours everything had completely fallen apart and somehow, she was the bad guy. Having both Harry and Ron mad at her wasn’t something she was unfamiliar with, but having them both mad at her and at each other was entirely new territory. Unsure of what to do with herself she walked towards the library like she usually did when Harry and Ron were upset with her and hoped it would serve her some kind of solace.

Chapter 7 >>

Taglist:

@theworldisugly-22

#fremione #fanfic #fanfiction #fred weasley x hermione granger #fred x hermione #harrypotter #gobletoffire #slowburn #friendstolovers

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dorevenge · 3 years

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where ignorance is bliss - chapter 10: snow will follow

SUMMARY: Maria is expecting, and the pregnancy is rough on her and Howard. [AO3 LINK]

CHAPTERS: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 [10] 11 12 13 14 15 ☆

May 22, 1970 – Manhattan, New York, Stark Manor

“Howard!” I scream, halfway down the staircase to the first floor, hands clenching to the railing. “It’s happening!” I’m nine months pregnant, and it feels like a pit has opened up behind my stomach, squeezing the life out of me at the same time, my knuckles going white from the pressure.

Howard runs over to me, one of the quickest 53-year-olds I’ve met, pushing up his sleeve to count the seconds on his wrist, whispering the time to himself. He guides me down the stairs, arm around my waist and shoulder supporting my armpit.

“Have Edwin bring the car around,” I saw. Tears stream from my eyes, my knees wobble from the pain, and Howard says the same thing he always does.

“They’re just Braxton Hicks, doll. The contractions aren’t close enough together.” He sets me down on the couch and wipes my face dry.

“They feel real,” I snap at him without meaning to.

“I know, I’m sorry. Let’s get you something to drink, settle your stomach.”

Edwin runs off to the kitchen, “I’ll put the kettle on.”

“You have to stay hydrated, and lay on your left side,” Howard continues. He brushes my hair out of the way and guides me to a horizontal position.

“I don’t want to lay on my left side, I want my body back,” I whine, adjusting the pillows underneath me to support the bowling ball sticking out of me. The pain behind my abdomen rages on like a wildfire. “Can you put the movie on?”

“Are we feeling West Side Story or Singing in the Rain today?” Howard prides himself on our home video library, collecting almost every film we would go out to see at the cinema. Our home theatre was impressive, given he had tried to make his own film production company at one point. It was his only unsuccessful venture, so we don’t talk about that aspect of it very often, but he keeps up with the technology and is obsessed with recreating the feeling of going to see a talkie at home.

“West Side Story.”

He puts the tape in, and the familiar opening plays out. Watching it reminds me of the first Academy Awards Show I accompanied Howard to, where we watched West Side Story sweep the competition, when Rita Moreno won in that stunning dress. It was only eight years ago, but it feels like a lifetime now, like many lifetimes have passed during Howard’s and my relationship. And now I’m cramping and swollen and bloated, as far as I can be from walking down a red carpet.

I’m asleep before “Something’s Coming” plays.

“Can you chew any louder?”

“Maria, we’re having soup. There’s no chewing involved.”

“It’s making me sick,” I say.

“I’ll go in the pantry,” Howard offers without complaint, used to this by now, kissing the top of my head and taking his bowl of soup with him into the pantry, shutting the door behind him.

Edwin and Ana look up cautiously from their bowls. “Shall we leave you as well, Mrs. Stark?” Ana asks.

“Why would you? You’re completely fine.”

I wake from a dead sleep at two in the morning, after a long day of getting mad at Howard for things that he couldn’t help, and I know I’m going into labor. This time, it isn’t Braxton Hicks, I know it. I rustle Howard’s shoulder. Then I shake it harder. “Howard, wake up,” I whisper harshly. He slowly blinks his eyes open. “We need to go to the hospital.”

“Let me get my watch,” he reaches over to flick on his bedside lamp.

“It’s for real this time.” I know it. I don’t want him to question it, I can feel it in my gut; today is the day we meet our child for the first time.

“If we go in again for more practice contractions, I don’t think the hospital will let ever let us come back.”

I pause before replying.

“My water broke.”

I’ve never seen Howard get out of bed and get dressed so quickly before. He throws my already packed bag at Edwin to have him bring the car around, asks Ana to change the bedsheets, and helps me dress myself, ushering me out the door. For the first time in the last nine months, I’m the calmest person in the Stark household, focusing on my breathing and answering the nurses’ questions as Howard stammers, trying to take care of everything at once. They confirm I am indeed in labor, run their preliminary tests, and show us to the suite we had reserved.

I didn’t realize the suite would be so luxurious; it was nicer than some hotels I’ve stayed at. A jacuzzi and a pool table are tucked away in the corner, along with a full-sized refrigerator and a private bathroom. We’re given a run-down of the amenities, including an on-call masseuse and chef, but as we settle in, I just want Edwin’s cooking and fanciful retellings of his days spent running around Los Angeles with the SSR. The way he tells it, he makes Peggy sound more heroic than Captain America.

“Don’t get mad at me, but you’re as beautiful now as you were the day I met you back in Monaco.” Howard dabs my forehead with a cool cloth.

“I have half a child sticking out of me!” I yell from gritted teeth between contractions. “And you’re flirting with me right now?” Rivets of sweat trickle down my brow between my breasts, chest heaving with effort. The pain from the contractions pulses through me. We’re almost 14 hours into the labor now, and I’ve never been more tired in my life. I want to sleep, but every fiber of every muscle in my body is engaged and trying to get through this.

“Jesus, doll, I said don’t get mad at me.” I take his hand and squeeze it hard enough he winces, like I’m siphoning the pain out of me and into him. He whispers words of encouragement into my ear, watering me and obeying every order from the doctor, not straying from my side - until we hear the peal of cries and the magical words –

“It’s a boy.”

Anthony Howard Stark was born May 29, 1970, a healthy 6 pounds and 10 ounces, with ten fingers, ten toes, and two powerful lungs that never stopped crying. And I do mean never. Baby Tony had no respect for what time of day it was, who was visiting, or how tired his parents were. Although we hadn’t discussed names at all before that day, it came together perfectly; a beautiful name for our beautiful boy.

Howard returned to work within the week Tony was born, taking Edwin with him every day to try to make up for the lost time at S.H.I.E.LD. base at Camp Lehigh. At dinner after his first day back, Howard had nothing about complaints about the way things had been run in his absence. “One of the security guards said the Tesseract went missing for five minutes and showed right back up in its containment unit. I think we have a breach, but everyone swears they didn’t see anything out of the ordinary,” he says over a plate of chicken and asparagus.

“When was this?”

“Back in April. We need to up our security.”

When I announce I am ready to retire and go to bed, everyone at the table stands to help. While I appreciate the attention and assistance, I’m looking forward to being able to get up on my own. The delivery has had an immense toll on my body, wiping me out completely with the emergency Cesarian. I can’t stand on my own for more than thirty seconds at a time, and Ana has been instrumental in my recovery. She takes care of Tony when I can’t, and when Howard is kept late at the office. She changes every diaper, cleans every dish, and I cannot thank her enough times. I think she took to the role quite well, and I don’t look forward to the day it’s taken from her again.

“Master Tony, you are quite the tornado,” I hear Edwin say down the hall as I fold laundry in the living room. Tony has just turned two, and his favorite word currently is “no.” Edwin does his best to toe the line between butler and substitute father-figure, but Tony needs a firm hand – the opposite of what he gets from Howard when he’s either stuck in the lab or nursing a gin and tonic.

“Tony Tornado! Tony Tornado!” Tony sprints down the hall, giggling, spilling his cup of Cheerios and leaving a trail behind him.

“Master Tony!” Edwin takes off after him. He is almost 60 by now, and, somehow, he still keeps up with the toddler. The two of them were practically inseparable. We lost Ana last year to a long battle with cancer, and it’s almost like Tony made it his personal mission to keep Edwin entertained and distracted enough to forget about the tragedy. I often find them playing make-believe with flying robots or watching cartoons on Saturday mornings, cross-legged on the carpet in the den.

I spend my first two years of motherhood caressing egos, trying to be the entertainer and people-pleaser, but I find myself just wanting all four of us to be together at home, instead of stuck late in offices or meetings or dinner parties that no one wants to attend in the first place. I miss my husband because even when he’s at home, he’s really back at the Stark Industries headquarters, still thinking about that damn arc reactor.

#where ignorance is bliss #wiib reading #iron man 3 #agent carter #edwin jarvis #marvel #fanfiction #canary writes a fanfiction

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amwritesitall · 4 years

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Cordelia Goode Playlist

Masterlist

I’m sharing these so I have post schedullleeedd for my days oooofffff. They most likely won’t be popular but it’s all good :) I’m going to put little baby reasoning since this is a thicc list

Playlist link

Also if you guys want more character playlists go check out @make--your--life--spectacular ‘s playlists. Here’s links to Ally and Venable :)

“Dreams” by Fleetwood Mac

Now here I go again I see the crystal visions I keep my visions to myself It's only me who wants to wrap around your dreams And have you any dreams you'd like to sell? Dreams of loneliness

So the first few songs all kind of have the same reasoning and that is witchy vibes. You can’t have a Cordelia playlist without some Fleetwood Mac

“Rhiannon” by Fleetwood Mac

She is like a cat in the dark and then She is the darkness She rules her life like a fine skylark and when The sky is starless

The ultimate witchy vibes song

“Seven Wonders” by Fleetwood Mac

So it's hard to find Someone with that kind of intensity You touched my hand I played it cool And you reached out your hand for me But if our paths never cross Well you know I'm sorry but If I live to see the seven wonders I'll make a path to the rainbow's end I'll never live to match the beauty again The rainbow's end

We love our talented Supreme

“Has Anyone Ever Written Anything for You” by Stevie Nicks

Has anyone ever given anything to you In your darkest hours Did you ever give it back Well, I have I have given that to you If it's all I ever do This is your song

This song is so preetttttyyyyyy. I feel like this would be one of Cordelia’s favorites

“The Witch Queen of New Orleans” by Redbone

Dime or a nickel any one could buy Voodoo of any kind She had potions and lotions, herbs and tanna leaves Guaranteed to blow your mind Early one mornin' into mucky swamp dew Vanished Marie with hate in her eyes Though she'll never return all the Cajuns knew A witch queen never dies

This song talks about Marie Laveau and idk witch vibes. Cordelia is also the witch queen while Marie is the voodoo queen

“girls” by girl in red

I shouldn't be feeling this But it's too hard to resist Soft skin and soft lips I should be into this guy But it's just a waste of time He's really not my type I know what I like No, this is not a phase Or a coming of age This will never change

A lot of songs just make me think of bb Cordelia

“Loving Is Easy” by Rex Orange County

Loving is easy You had me fucked up It used to be so hard to see Yeah, loving is easy When everything's perfect Please don't change a single little thing for me

Soft gal loving. Prime happy Cordelia vibes

“i wanna be your girlfriend” by girl in red

I don't wanna be your friend I wanna kiss your lips I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath I don't wanna be your friend I wanna kiss your lips I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath

Teen AU Cordeliiiaaaa

“Glory Box” by Portishead

I just want to be a woman From this time, unchained We're all looking at a different picture Through this new frame of mind A thousand flowers could bloom Move over, and give us some room, yeah

HOW CAN I NOT PUT THIS SONG ON HERE?? This is one of my favorite songs they have ever used on the show

“you’re my world” by atlas

You were my earth You were the planet You were the grass The wind and tides And now that you're gone I feel so out of place And now that you're gone I'm just driftin' through space

Anngsssttt

“If We We’re Vampires” by Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit

It's knowing that this can't go on forever Likely one of us will have to spend some days alone Maybe we'll get forty years together But one day I'll be gone Or one day you'll be gone

I’m going to use my reasoning from my other post about this song.

Cordelia knows that one day she will die. There will be another Supreme after her and she can’t live forever. This is her coming to terms with the fact that maybe it’s for the best that she won’t stay around forever. Not being immortal allows her to live in the moment and savor all the time she has.

“Red (Demo Version)” by Miki Ratsula

Stars light up the sky, the clock strikes twelve Adventure in sight, the hours melt Ben Howard plays, she sings along I look to my left and fall in love

When she leans in for a red light kiss And places her love on my lips Hearts and lungs increase in pace Passion overwhelms our space But, the corner of my eye lights up in green This fragile moment woken by reality Our lips depart, our breathing slows as I wait again To kiss her lips, when the light turns red

Soft teen Cordelia vibes

“Planets of the Universe - Demo” by Fleetwood Mac

I will never love again the way I loved you You will never rule again the way you've ruled We will never change again the way we are changing Oh, you'll forget the chill of love but not the strain

One of my favorite songs. The demo is my favorite version of it because it feels so raw? Like the emotions in it and also young Stevie sounds like a cutie at the beginning and end when she’s talking to Christine.

In general this is also has Cordelia vibes too lol

“18″ by 5 Seconds of Summer

I'm not old enough for her I'm just waiting till I'll eighteen I think she wants to get with me But, she's got a job in the city And she says that she's always too busy She's got a naughty tattoo In a place that i wanna get to

Being a student at the Academy and having a thing for Ms Headmistress Cordelia

“House of the Rising Sun” by Lauren O’Connell

It's one foot on the platform The other's on the train I'm going back to New Orleans To wear that ball and chain

Witchy woman

“Bad Liar” by Selena Gomez

I was walking down the street the other day Tryna distract myself But then I see your face Oh wait, that's someone else Ohh, tryna play it coy Tryna make it disappear But just like the battle of Troy There's nothing subtle here In my room there's a king size space Bigger than it used to be If you want you can rent that place Call me an amenity Even if it's in my dreams

Nervous Cordelia trying to hide her feelings. Possibly Teen Cordelia?

“Nervous - Acoustic” by Gavin James

'Cause every time I saw you I got nervous Shivering and shaking at the knees And just like every song I haven't heard yet no I didn't know the words in front of me In front of me, and oh But I don't wanna know Who'll take you home?

Season three shy gal

“Mariposa” by Peach Tree Rascals

I can't wait for you To come my way I've been far away But I'll keep runnin' Just to find a way to you til' then

Cordelia will do her damn best to get to her love. Don’t mess with her b.

“Sweet Love of Mine (Acoustic)” by Joy Williams

When you found me I was all alone The whole world around me And nowhere to call home I heard your voice sing like heaven's choir Gathered up my fears and threw them in the fire

Oh my darling, sweet love of mine I'll hold you all through the night

I don’t think this is what the song is technically about but it makes me think of Cordelia finding someone that finally loves her and helps her love all of the things that Fiona made her self conscious about.

“Hurts Like Hell - OurVinyl Sessions” by Fleurie

I don't want them to know the secrets I don't want them to know the way I loved you I don't think they'd understand it, no I don't think they would accept me, no

I loved, and I loved and I lost you

Dreams fight with machines Inside my head like adversaries Come wrestle me free Clean from the war Your heart fits like a key Into the lock on the wall

This song makes me think of Misty x Cordelia or angsty teen au Cordelia. I can also cry on demand if this song is playing

“Waiting Room” by Rex Orange County

Our family reunion I'd rather be anywhere but here It's like a pain you shouldn't ignore But my uncle's here to open the door, and I don't like him This family reunion I felt so uncomfortable, I left They all decided to stay So it's just me and my mistakes And I'd like to know that you smile when you're alone And when you need time to yourself Remember me, I won't be anyone else I'm just the boy you love

And my lover, my best friend When I heard that you don't know why you're here I fell face down And became one with the ground And my lover's best friend

Cordelia’s hella dysfunctional family and just yeah

“Fancy Shoes” by The Walters

Let's go walking in the city tonight You wear the dress that makes you look so nice Like my fancy shoes I wore them just for you Tell me why all the good ones go Well I don't know but I want it to somehow change I'll be a better man if you just stay

This one I don’t have much of an explanation for besides vibes

“Common Sense” by Joshua Bassett

Common sense tells me kiss the girl goodbye Common sense tells me leave it all behind Common sense says the girl's not worth my time But common sense ain't common when you come to mind

Delia madly in love

“I Talk to the Sky” by Maddy Estelle

I write down things I wish I could say to you I talk to the sky I collect words I wish I could give to you I talk to the sky, I talk to the sky The sky doesn't say a word

Cordelia after she’s lost her loovee the annggsstt but sis is getting a happy ending

“Two Straws” by Also Joe

You've been on my mind In rain and sunshine You've got the sweetest smile that I've ever laid eyes on You make me dance And I make you laugh But nothin puts me in a better mood than being loved by ya This is the love that I've been dreaming of

Delia after falling really really hard

You might like: Audrey Tindall Playlist or Poems that Remind Me of Cordelia Goode

#cordelia #playlist #music #cordelia goode #cordelia foxx #teen au #ahs #coven #ahs coven #sarah paulson #american horror story #american horror story coven

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backtobackbakubabe · 4 years

Text

Baby its Cold Outside (PART 2)

Bakugo x Reader

Bakugo has feelings

*Angst *Fluff *Smutish *All the feelings

Words: 1894

PART 1 HERE, PART 2 HERE, PART 3 HERE PART 4 HERE PART 5 HERE , PART 6 HERE PART 7 HERE PART 8 HERE PART 9 HERE PART 10 HERE PART 11 HERE PART 12 HERE PART 13 HERE PART 14 HERE

*****************************************************************************************************

Ever since that fateful day a month ago that you forgot your jacket, you and Bakugo had been all over each other. You basically lived at his place. Waking up every morning to a fresh cup of coffee just the way you like it and if you were lucky, maybe even some shower sex before you went off to work.

He loved having you over all the time, and if he didn't think it was too soon he'd probably ask you to move in. Hell you had known each other for over five years now. Just because you only now started dating doesn't mean he hadn’t thought about this for a while. He loved making you dinner and taking care of you. He found it adorable how you could never reach anything in his kitchen. You begged him to move some stuff down to a lower shelf but he refused. Saying it was more fun to watch you climb on the counters. In reality he just liked that you always needed him to reach things.

You were always popping back and forth between your apartment and his. He had learned that if he listened really hard he could hear the telling sound of whooshing air that signaled your coming and going. It was subtle but he grew accustomed to it and could now pick it out anywhere. Subconsciously smiling every time he heard it. He still acted surprised whenever you tired to sneak up on him. You were always so cute when you thought you had actually scared him.

You were nervous work would be weird now that you two were together. But it was the opposite. Your chemistry was through the roof, and you were kicking ass. I mean there was the one incident were you chased down a thief and totally kicked his ass before Bakugo could get there. First he was yelling about how you were reckless and should have waited for back-up and then the next thing you knew you were being pushed into a side closet and being fucked senseless.

Today had been a long day. Bakugo had the day off and spent the whole day with Kirishima doing whatever it is those two do. You had to be paired up with some random hero you had never heard of for patrol today and he bored you to death. You wanted your spicy nugget back.

You could hear Bakugo banging around upstairs so you knew he was home. Excitedly you teleported into his apartment which was something that had become quite the habit the last few weeks. You quietly snuck over to him as he cooked in the kitchen. You didn't know what it was, but it smelled really fucking good.

You slipped your hands around his waist as you hugged him from behind, “mmm smells good baby.”

“Keep making noises like that and I just might have to bend you over the kitchen table and take you right here.”

You playfully swatted at his stomach, “Such a caveman”

He continued to stir whatever it was he was cooking, “But I’m your caveman.”

You slowly pushed past the waistband of his pants and palmed him through his boxers, “And I’m all yours...”

And that's how Bakugo, for the first time ever....burnt dinner.

*****

You were walking around the apartment wearing one of his t-shirts looking for take out menus. You two had worked up quite the appetite. You returned to his bed, phone in one hand and a ramen menu in the other.

Bakugo put his hand on your thigh and rubbed soothing circles, “Hey I think we need to talk.”

You froze as panic started to seize you. No good conversation ever started that way.

He gently took the things from your hands and pulled you into his lap. Brushing his thumbs over your cheeks, “I think we need to tell our boss we’re dating. It's kind of unprofessional for us to be partnered on patrol if we’re romantically involved.”

You let our a huge sigh of relief, “I thought you were about to break up with me. I was seriously about to start crying.”

He brushed a stray lock of hair away from your face, “Oh no! Dont be fucking dramatic. Of course not you idiot. You think I’d wait five years to make a move just to toss you to the curb. No you’re unfortunately stuck with me.”

You gave him a soft smile and leaned forward snuggling into his neck, “Is that why you want a new patrol partner? Because you’re stuck with me.”

You were just teasing him and he knew that but he still rolled his eyes. “No I love working with you. Honestly, I know I complained at first, but I love getting to see you in action. If anything it turns me on.”

You thumped him on the forehead, “We’re having a serious conversation here reel it in horn dog.”

He frowned, “I went to get some drinks with Kirishima and we got to talking about how scary it is to have significant others also in the hero business. Y/n if something were to happen to you I don't know what I’d do.” His grip on you tightened. “If it were to come down between saving you or catching a villain or hell even saving you or saving a civilian... I would choose you every time. Hero’s aren’t supposed to selfish, but how can I not be when my first priority is always going to be standing right next to me.”

He started to run his hands through his hair out of frustration, “And honestly I don't think changing partners would even help at all. Because I don't know if I could trust anyone on this earth to watch your back while your out there the way I do. I would be worried sick every day. And I know I can’t ask you to quit, that’s not even an option... I’m just freaking out!”

You cradled his head against your chest and you ran your fingers through his hair. You felt a single tear run down your cheek. You knew he cared, but you didn't know he cared this much. That was practically a declaration of love, especially coming from Bakugo. You two had known each other since UA, and you have never seen him show so much emotion that wasn’t rage.

“Oh honey nothing’s going to happen to me. When push comes to shove I can always teleport away. It may only be 50 yards right now but that's farther than I could at the begging of UA! Remember you used to make fun of me because I could only go about 20 feet. You pushed me every day to be better and look where I am now. That’s because of you! Who knows, maybe soon I’ll be able to go miles!”

He got very serious as he took your head in his hands, “Promise me y/n. Promise me that if it’s ever you or me you will always pick yourself. I need to know that if we ever get in a sticky situation you’ll teleport away.”

You could see the desperation in his eyes. He really needed to hear you say it. But you couldn't. It would be a lie. There’s no way you could ever leave him behind. Even before you two were together you still would have fought till the end with him.

“Katsu... you have to understand how impossible that is to ask of me. Could you do it? Leave me behind and run off to safety?” His eyes watered up but no tears spilled out. “I know you couldn't. We’re heroes... it’s in our job description to put others before oursleves.”

His hands left your face and settled in his lap holding on to yours. His eyes couldn't meet yours. You had never seen him so vulnerable. “Please y/n. For my sanity. Just promise me.” His eyes snapped up to yours and they looked so sad but so serious. “I tried so hard to not have feelings for you. For years I teased you and pushed you away because I had convinced myself being a hero would be easier if I did it alone. No matter what I did though I could never get rid of those nagging feelings. You don’t even know how many times I’ve lost my shit over you.”

He took a deep breath, “Once at UA, Mineta somehow had acquired a picture of you while you were changing and I beat the little shit to a pulp.” Oh Shit he really was opening the flood gates now. “All those times I pushed you harder in training was because I knew I wasn’t going to be there with you out in the real world and I wanted to know you could take care of yourself.”

He ran a hand over his reddening face“Shit just last month when we were on patrol! When that villain had you pinned I saw red. I fucking blew his face off. All those times I bitched about you holding me back when really I was just a nervous wreck on high alert all the time!”

He was really on a rant now. His face was flushed as he just continued to get himself worked up. It would have been cute if it wasn’t such a serious topic.

“Babe, I cant even begin to tell you how much I appreciate how much you care about my well being. I really and truly do. But like you said you pushed me so hard in training to make sure I was ready. And thanks to you I am...” You gave his shoulder a playful punch, “Besides you’re Ground Zero! Soon to be the number one hero. There isn’t a villain alive who compares to your power.”

You were just stroking his ego now but he did seem to calm down a bit. “I may not be able to promise I’ll always pick my myself over you. But I can promise that starting now I’ll try and be more careful with the risks I take. I promise I won’t intentionally put myself in danger, how does that sound?”

He groaned and started playing with your hair, “You fucking stuburn women! You never do what I ask and I mean never! If you were anyone else I’d pound some sense into you!”

You wagged your eyebrows, “I mean I’m always down for you to ah... pound... some sense into me.”

“Nope! NO! I will NOT be tempted by pelvic sorcery! You will not distract me...” You could feel his hands sliding up and down your thighs, “Like the biggest brat in the world once said, ‘reel it in horn dog.’”

You moved your hips to grind against him, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m just casually sitting in my incredibly hot boyfriends lap minding my own business...”

“Damnit women!... okay FINE! BUT THIS CONVERSATION ISNT OVER!”

He grabbed your ass with a hard squeeze as he pushed you harder into his growing erection. “Shit what are you doing to me. All you have to do it bat those fucking eyes and I lose my fucking train of thought.” You yelped as he flipped you over and pined you to the mattress. “Now for once just be a good girl and let me take care of you...”

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