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confusedwitch · 3 years

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Witch-Related Books to Grab off Amazon: Masterpost Part 1

First off, I'll be sectioning this into different parts based off of what type of witch you are/want to be/want more info on, or what practices you wanna add to your craft :)

Green Witch/Magick Herbalism (a classic):

The Green Witch by Arin Murphy-Hiscock - $9.69 (Hardcover): This book had incredible reviews on amazon, and a lot of the written reviews said that the book wasn't specific to a religion and didn't try to push a religion on you, which is so wonderful because not everyone wants to be religious with their craft.

Plant Witchery by Juliet Diaz - $25.19 (Hardcover) $18.99 (Paperback): Again, stunning reviews, just a less popular book. This book isn't about general stuff, but instead it's more focused on mother nature and the useage of plants (non-herbal as well, so your houseplants might be mentioned too), which is great if you wanna center your practice around Gaia and the healing energies of the earth.

Herb Magick: An Introduction to Magickal Herbalism and Spells by Patti Wigington - $14.99 (Paperback): here's a review from a verified person- it explained this book WAY better than I ever could:

The focus of this book is on the folkloric and magical uses of herbs, rather than medicinal applications. It provides a few traditional uses of herbs, but the overall theme is knowledge of the plants and their associations, and incorporating them in your spiritual workings. This is an Introductory to Magical Herbalism.

The author's spiritual practice is rooted in traditional American and European Folk Magic. She is a licensed Pagan Clergy and is the founder of Clan Of The Stone Circle, a Celtic Pagan Tradition. (Funny, anything Celtic has been pulling my attention feelers lately, no wonder why I loved this book.) Her spells are derived/based upon the traditional folk magic practices of Western Europe and the British Isles, and the author's own experiences. They are positive spells for magical intentions of healing, love, prosperity, and protection. Baneful or negative workings with herbs are NOT used in this book.

The aesthetic of this book has my little, beginner herbalist heart gushing! The blue, green, and yellow earthy tones and hues used were perfect for the topic of herbs! The cover is GORGEOUS! It's so pretty and flowery, the illustrated pictures of the herbs were extremely helpful because I had never seen some of the plants before. This will make future identification much easier for me!

Cunningham's Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs by Scott Cunningham - $16.43 (Paperback): A couple reviews describe it as being in a cookbook format, and overall an amazing book, like most of Scott Cunningham's other works. Apparently the Amazon shipping was literal trash for a bunch of people and they essentially left the book loose inside the box to bang around and get all sorts of messed up :((

The Witch's Herbal Apothecary by Marysia Miernowska - $18.69 (Paperback): Described by reviewers as the PERFECT book for recipes and rituals, even one of Marysia's personal students spoke very highly of her, saying that she's the real deal. Other reviews state the book as being very beginner friendly, and beautifully written and illustrated :))

Blackthorn's Botanical Magic: The Green Witch's Guide to Essential Oils for Spellcraft, Ritual, and Healing by Amy Blackthorn - $15.79 (Paperback): again, phenomenal reviews, just a lesser-known book. Again, here's a review from someone who explained the book a bit better than I could:

This book is way more than I thought it would be. I thought it would be like a dictionary - you look up the essential oil and get the definition. It is that but it's also got a few introductory chapters about oils and products and rituals to give you a nice and concise overview of a lot of things you might need to know as a novice. I also like the way you can reference different oils in alpha order but also look up your purpose and find the oil you need.

From the looks of it, this book is specifically about Essential Oils. Is that still Green Witchery?? Lol I'm not sure, but i felt like it should go in this category.

Kitchen Witch (another classic):

Blackthorn's Botanical Brews by Amy Blackthorn - $14.49 (Hardcover): this is mainly a book of recipes for drinks and cocktails and stuff. There was one review complaining about how it didn't have correspondences, meanwhile the book is literally described as being a recipe book? It's an AMAZING book if you enjoy/want to start making homemade elixirs and cocktails :))

The Natural Witch's Cookbook: 100 Magickal, Healing Recipes, and Herbal Remedies to Nourish Body, Mind, and Spirit by Lisanna Wallace - $20.69 (hardcover): This is again just a book of recipes, and the reviews are really good. Here's one of them:

I wanted to write the review as soon as I got the book. I was not expecting this book to be so fantastic. The recipes are very nutritious and the names are very inventive, but I could see that before I tried the recipes. I held off on writing the review until I tasted a few of the recipes. Even my kids were very happy with the flavors of these recipes. They are mostly easy to make and they are very delicious. Be aware though that the food can only be as great as the quality of the ingredients that you get. These are not recipes that call for complicated or fancy ingredients, or even a lot of ingredients. As a result, you have to use the best that you can find/afford to get the best results you can. I did not use expensive ingredients, but everything I used was very fresh and it does make a difference on the outcome. Overall, the book have some great recipes, easy to follow and the end result does look like the ones on the picture.

The Book of Kitchen Witchery by Cerridwen Greenleaf - $12.89 (Paperback):

I am so pleased with this book. It’s so magical and warm. Sometimes the new age genre can be a little too technical or focus too much on religion or putting down particular religions... this was not like that. There are so many lovely tips and easy spells and recipes that are kept fairly light so you can make them your own. The book just makes me happy, it has an energy to it that goes right along with it’s artsy illustrations and at-a-glance format. This will be a great reference. Very grateful to everyone who made this book possible.

A former editor said that there were a few editing mistakes, but nothing too crazy. If that's one of your pet peeves, just beware when buying this book lol (btw the editor still have a 4 star review because they said the book is still very good)

Potions, Elixirs & Brews by Anaïs Alexandre - $12.79 (Hardcover): I just had to include both of these amazing reviews, since both said what the other review did not.

This book is so gorgeous and everything I have been looking for in regards to potions. I love her writing style and the way the book looks. Highly informative and I can feel her good intentions behind the book. She is very intelligent. I respect her and I am inspired by her! I found her by chance looking up books for potions, she also has Instagram! Very grateful, amazing book thank you:-) so happy to be the first comment:p excited to see what else amazing things come from Anais!

And

I adore this book. The art and setup is simplistic and beautiful. There is a system that tells you exactly how difficult each potion will be to make, whether or not it’s alcoholic, and what is the ideal season to make it in. The instructions are clear, the preliminary information is well done, and there’s even a section for brewing large batches which I LOVE. The weight of the book is nice and it feels of good quality. The papers are glossy and, I haven’t yet, but I feel like it won’t be a disaster If you get some of your creation on it. The book is separated into types of potions depending on your intent. This is a perfect book for anyone new to making potions or is interested in a magickal recipe book!

The Witches Feast: A Kitchen Grimoire by Melissa Madara - $35 (Hardcover): This book actually isn't out yet, but it'll be released on October 26th of this year (2021). It looks promising, which is why I put it on the list, and for that much money, it better be good lol

Lunar/Moon/Astrology Witch:

The Complete Guide to Astrology by Louise Edington - $9.49 (Paperback) $22.99 (Hardcover): There's amazing reviews on this book, and one of them said that she's been researching astrology for 23 years!! Here's the review in it's entirety:

I've been a student of Astrology for the past 23 years now, and have read most of the books on this subject that are considered foundational. Many guides to astrology that I page through in a bookstore are fine, but covering information I already know. What I so appreciated about Edington's new book is that she brings a new angle to even the basics of Astrology. Her book feels like a fresh update, more appropriate to our current time in terms of language and sensibility. There are no "evil" aspects or transits in Edington's view, no dark warnings of disaster; her evolutionary perspective encourages us to see the opportunity in even the most challenging times, what can be learned, what can be accomplished. As she says in her book, she doesn't look at the natal chart as something fixed, unchanging, rather a "blueprint rich in meaning and possibility."

I also admired Edington's extensive knowledge of the stories behind the names and symbology used in Astrology: sharing her interpretations of them, how they are useful, how they can be limiting. Concepts I thought I already understood have been unpacked in greater depth by the author, so that I see deeper layers.

This text is beautifully written, well-organized, offering a fresh update, as well as a deeper dive than many astrology texts. This book is an invaluable resource I'll be returning to, and consulting, with appreciation.

Moon Spells: How to Use the Phases of the Moon to Get What You Want by Diane Ahlquist - $11.35 (Paperback): This book is a bit older fashioned in the sense that it's VERY heteronormative, we're talking about love magick SPECIFICALLY for men and all about being a father, and a section of love magick SPECIFICALLY for women and being a mother. So if this gets on your nerves, then i wouldn't recommend this book. Other than that, the reviews are very good and they describe the book as being a must-have for lunar witches.

The Complete Book of Moon Spells by Michael Herkes - $13.49 (Paperback): Yes, this book was written by a man. If that's something that might make you not want to purchase, please look at this and also keep in mind that SO MANY of the most highly esteemed witches of the world ARE MEN. So if you wanna be closed off and refuse their help and their knowledge, go ahead sis, I'm not stopping you.

He's most definitely not just "some guy". Aside from that, this book has very good reviews. Some people called it "fluffy" and a bit less serious then they anticipated, but it's very good for beginner witches who are finally wanting to start doing spells. Here's a review.

In this book you explore ways to conjure the mysterious power of the moon to manifest your intentions to achieve abundance and balance in your life! Each chapter is devoted to one of the eight phases of the moon and includes various spells, tarot spreads, crystal grids and potions that reflect that phase of the moon!

This is an overall amazing book if you want to build a foundation of learning about the history of the moon, astrology, cycles & phases, ritual tools, crystals, herbs, and essential oils- as well as the moon spells and rituals.

This is one of my new favorite books! I feel so connected to the moon and this book is a great reference for learning the best rituals and spells to use for the different moon phases and energies surrounding them! It’s easy to follow and the lunar rituals, mystical spells and magical drinks are so vibrant, creative and helpful in my spiritual journey. I’d recommend this book to anyone that loves the moon like I do.

Moon Magic: A Handbooks of Lunar Cycles, Lore, and Mystical Energies by Aurora Kane - $19.99 (Hardcover, although there's only three left when I'm looking at it) $9.99 (Kindle):

One review said that the book much surpassed their expectations, and another review said this:

I absolutely adore this book.

If you're just a beginner and want to understand the different moon phases, this is the book to get.

The information inside was extremely helpful without being overly complicated.

Well worth the money spent.

Astrology: Using the Wisdom of the Stars in Your Everyday Life by DK - $14.59 (Hardcover):

I saw this in store and was immediately drawn to it's beautiful and shiny cover! But when I open it, the inside is just as beautiful! I love looking through the pages. I would say it is a very good basic astrology book, but I have another one that gives much more detail. I like this one for more of a quick reference kind of book. It's more of a bullet point style book, where it gives little tidbits instead of paragraphs going in depth. (Though some pages do have paragraphs) BUT, it covers just about everything including all the houses, moon signs, and ascending signs. It covers everything, but it just covers he tip of the iceberg. (In my opinion) I still absolutely recommend it!

Apparently this book is also available in Barnes and Noble, so if you have access to one, you might wanna look there for the book before purchasing off of Amazon :)

Misc Books (General):

The Spell Book for New Witches: Essential Spells to Change Your Life by Ambrosia Hawthorn - $10.19 (Paperback) $20.69 (Hardcover):

This book... It's a very good spell book, and is true in the spells it contains, but MY biggest problem with it is that it's V E R Y Wiccan, and seems almost preachy about the "Threefold Law" and what they like to call "karma". Choosing not to do dark magick is PERFECTLY FINE and being Wiccan is totally okay! But don't be like Christianity and rub it in people's faces, dude. The book talks about how you can ONLY practice "love and light". Other than that, this book is AMAZING and rated literally 5 stars with over 11K reviews. If you lean more Wiccan, by ALL means, buy this spellbook. It's the one for you.

Practical Magic for Beginners by Maggie Haseman - $13.49 (Paperback)

This book is fantastic for the witch who wants to learn more about her craft but doesn't know where to start. Each subject is broken down into easy to absorb bits of wisdom without being overwhelming. A great jumping off place to decide where to dive in deep next.

This book is very comprehensive, and is a great reference guide for beginner witches, or witches looking to add another book to their collection.

Candle Magic For Beginners by Mystic Dylan - $10.86 (Paperback) $21.99 (Spiral bound)

This book is a must have for anyone looking to deepen their connection with the magical element of fire, ritual, and spell work through candle magic! Dylan not only teaches you how to use candle magic for things such as protection, abundance, love, healing, and more, but takes you through the fascinating history of the power of fire & how to properly charge, cleanse, and consecrate your candles to begin manifesting your deepest desires!!! Overall, the book is beautifully written with gorgeous illustration and will hook you from the start!!!!!!!

This book is perfect for beginners to candle magick, or beginners to the craft in general. I personally LOVE candle magic because I've always been attracted to fire. I could void out and just stare at a flame for hours on end lol

Crystals for Beginners by Karen Frazier - $8.99 (Paperback) $20.95 (Spiral bound)

Absolutely love this book!! It’s so informative! I am a beginner and this book explains a lot. Everything a beginner would need to know about crystals is in this book. I am so pleased with it. Best purchase of the week! Definitely worth it. The author explains crystals, chakras and energy so enthusiastically and in a way that is easy to understand. At the end of the book, is a “resources” page with all the websites, books and apps that the Author recommends.

Again, very beginner friendly, but this time it's not spells, it's crystals and such. I've personally been wanting this book for AGES

The Crystal Bible Series by Judy Hall - $38.99 (Volume 1-3 shrink-wrapped set, paperback):

This is my first purchase of the three-part series by Judy Hall. Volume 1 covers over 200 crystals! I can already tell you I'll be purchasing volumes 2 and 3 (each of which cover 200+ MORE crystals/stones, not included in volume 1) I love how each crystal description includes photos to further help in identification. I also appreciate that rarity and sources were included. Information about the spiritual and physical impacts of crystals on the body is in there as well! This book is loaded with a lot of great information and is the perfect quick reference. It's also small and fits easily in my hand. I highly recommend it for beginners.

This is a review from just the first book, and it's from a verified hauler/buyer :)) these aren't exactly newbie friendly, and some people say they're a bit harder to understand.

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samwritesforyou · 3 years

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lantern rite with zhongli

zhongli x reader

summary: you stay in liyue and zhongli wants you to go to the lantern rite with him

warnings: gender-neutral reader

wordcount: 2.2k

A/N: its just zhongli brain rot, can we jsut live our mundane life w him forever??

you were wandering the lands of liyue for a significant amount of time already.

you would’ve usually just camped in the open like you used to do on your adventures in mondstadt - before the knights learned about this and generously offered you an apartment with no rent required - but ever since you mentioned this idea to a powerful god of geo zhongli, he wouldn’t hear of it.

“you are staying over at the wangsheng funeral parlour, y/n,” he said in a serious, low tone that made your stomach twist in ways that you didn’t yet understand.

“what do you mean? i can’t just stay there,” you said in return, brows furrowed.

“there are a few rooms behind the official wing that we use for business and actually me and hu tao live there, we do not have a conventional “home” anywhere,” he rationally explained and continued looking steadily into your eyes.

you never had a problem managing eye contact, but with his piercing amber orbs it was quite difficult.

“zhongli, i-“ you started, looking behind him at the open entrance to the balcony.

it was getting dark already, and even though you were used to camp life, you did notice that wild liyue was rather dangerous to rest at.

“only if you really don’t mind,” you stated with a sigh of defeat, closing your eyes and putting hands on your hips, “but i’ll pay.”

“dear y/n, i simply won’t allow it,” he said and you felt his gloved fingers on your chin and opened your eyes immediately, meeting with his.

a mysterious smile played on his lips, “you can just invite me to a meal, this form of payment will be sufficient,” when he saw a blush creeping up your face, he let go of you, standing straight again and clearing his throat, becoming flustered himself and looking away.

“alright,” was all that you could muster to answer in a higher tone than usual.

and there began an era of you living with hu tao and zhongli for the course of weeks that stretched into months as you tried to scout out the eternity of liuye’s landscape, hopelessly looking for your lost sibling.

most days you’d come back to your new home exhausted and just plop on the couch in front of the kitchen isle, already seeing some food left on the counter for your arrival.

you were never sure if it was hu tao’s making or zhongli’s, but that question was answered tonight, as you saw geo archon finishing up tonight’s dish - slow-cooked bamboo shoot soup - not even paying attention to your shuffling in the room.

you felt grateful yet a bit guilty that you made zhongli do something for you every day this late.. sometimes you wouldn’t return until the morning and even then you found a warm plate of breakfast on the counter.

you didn’t have much free time to get to know zhongli better, but even so you two have become an acquaintances of sorts. someone could even say.. friends.

a few times during your stay you were persuaded to take a break and took a few evening walks alongside rex lapis, your conversation making you feel at ease and understood.

if only you’d have more time to just.. do nothing, then you’d even..

you were staring at his broad back for quite a while already as he was cooking, no official costume present, just a simple comfortable shirt that gave you more of a feeling how home-y you have become with him.

it felt natural to come home and see him, either reading a book or just sliding the door to his room open to say a gentle “goodnight” or ask a few questions about your day.

you really liked him. you clicked as personalities, he was interesting, handsome-

“are you here?” you suddenly felt a gentle single tap on the top of your head, as zhongli’s voice brought you back to reality from your thoughts.

from the thoughts that you shouldn’t be having, because there’s no way that something would ever happen between the two of you.

so you shook your head and then smiled at him wearily.

“yeah. sorry, a long day,” you said silently and looked at two plates that were now sitting at the table.

“i wanted to dine with you tonight, is that alright?” he asked and looked up at you with his amber eyes.

“of course!” you nodded and then looked down at the table, “and thank you.. for always making food for me.”

“oh, it’s nothing. hu tao said that since you’re our guest i don’t have to worry about using more ingredients for food than we do usually,” he then began to eat.

as you dug in into your dish as well a comfortable silence has settled in the room.

it was always like this with him.

comfortable, safe.

you wondered how he’s gonna react when you tell him you’ll probably have to leave soon.

maybe it’s a good time to bring it up, even though it’ll ruin the moment of peace.

you mulled over the idea for a few minutes and couldn’t find any way of saying it the way you wanted it to sound, so you just started;

“uhm.. i think i’ll go back to mondstadt.”

ever so composed zhongli literally choked on his food and coughed a few times, steadying his posture once more, brows furrowing, not meeting your eyes.

“why so sudden?” he just asked simply.

“well… i don’t think i have any luck here.. and i’d love to move to the next region, but i wanted to talk it over with other knights beforehand, just to be safe,” you answered and sighed.

it’s not like you wanted to leave.

“that is a good choice indeed,” he stated, but you sensed that he wasn’t pleased by your “choice” at all, “but why won’t you stay just a few days longer?”

he finally finished up his food, gently patted his lips with a cloth and put it aside, now meeting your gaze.

“there is a lantern rite festival in the end of the week and..” seems like zhongli was trying to pick the right words, which was unusual of him, “i was hoping you’d accompany me.”

“oh,” you have heard about the event scarcely, but didn’t pay it any mind, knowing that you’d probably have no time to enjoy it anyways.

“your sibling is out there somewhere, i believe in it,” zhongli didn’t even let you speak, which was twice as unusual of him, as if he was already trying to persuade you even before hearing your verdict upon the matter, “and i wanted to offer you my help. i finally have no rites of parting to arrange and am quite free of any work that was holding me back before,” and as an afterthought he continued, “and i think you really deserve some rest, y/n. i’ve seen how hard you’ve been trying to find your sibling, help the adventurers guild.. it’s only natural and fair for you to take some rest and replenish your energy.”

you were frozen in place with a spoon half-risen to your mouth already, unable to tear your eyes from him as he finished his monologue.

you were used to him talking about the past events or fond memories for a long time, but it was never addressed directly at you.

so you just looked down and started intensely finishing up your soup, trying not to think about the way you’re probably blushing right now.

and once you did and looked back at zhongli, he was sitting composed in front of you, light smile resting on his lips.

“i’ll stay then,” you nodded and smiled at him back, his expression growing softer at your words.

“thank you,” he mirrored your nod and then took the dishes - even after your protests - and started cleaning them up himself.

you were so glad you decided to stay. last few days were filled with you just walking around the city and outskirts alongside zhongli as you were finally able to relax a bit and push a pressing matter of finding your sibling for a few days later.

the lantern rite day grew near and it was already happening in the evening. for some reason hu tao insisted of pampering you up and didn’t let zhongli see you until the event started.

“why are you like this?” you ask tiredly hu tao as she was helping you to put on a classic chinese dress that was worn both by men and women (and everyone in between) in this festive time.

“you think i don’t see how you’re staring at each other?” she giggled as she started rummaging through her hair pins that would look good on you.

“each other?!” you yelped in confusion, only to be met with a flustered reflection of yourself in a mirror in front of you, so you dropped your shoulders and sighed, lowering your gaze, “if anything, it’s only me who’s staring, hu tao..”

“ha!” the laugh was more similar to a bark as she reacted to your words and soon enough appeared next to you, putting a pin to your bangs, adding your hair a little decorative twist, “that’s what you think.”

you didn’t have any time to protest to that, because you heard a knock on the door and hu tao yelled “don’t you dare come in, old man!” right back.

“i just wanted to inform you two that the festival has already begun,” said a calm muffled voice outside and you found yourself smiling at that.

“okay, we’re almost done!” said hu tao and finally helped you stand up, letting you look at yourself in the mirror.

you really looked exceptional tonight and couldn’t hold your positive emotions bubbling inside of you.

“thank you,” you said to hu tao and hugged her tightly.

she just giggled and murmured something along the lines of “don’t mention it” and went with you out of the room, straight onto the balcony in front of the wangsheng funeral parlour.

your eyes found zhongli immediately as he turned and looked at you.

he gave a polite nod to his friend and then his amber orbs drifted to you and his expression broke into something way softer than you’ve ever witnessed before.

only after a while you realised that your festival dresses were matching. yours was just in lighter, yellow tones, whereas his was in dark brown ones. it complemented each other perfectly.

you didn’t really notice how it happened, but you two ended up alone, just walking on the outskirts of liyue harbour, after participating in many festival activities.

you were standing on the hidden viewpoint where you could see the whole city, beautifully lit up, yet where you were standing there were scarcely any lamps, so the atmosphere was dim and comfortable.

zhongli was the first one to break the pleasant silence between the two of you.

“i dont want to be straightforward,” he started as he stood next to you, his hand on the railing of the balcony, “but i’m afraid i just have to share my feelings with you, y/n.”

you looked up at him, question in your eyes.

could it be?..

“i don’t usually take interest in humans, but.. it’s safe to say you drew me in and left me enchanted,” words were rolling off his tongue effortlessly, “by your driven heart, pure intentions and determination,” he paused a little and then chuckled to himself, “kind of remind me of myself, back in the day.”

with his free hand he reached out to yours, and took it in his palm, squeezing a little;

“i’m not immune to human weaknesses either.

and my guess is that i’m certainly not immune to your charm.”

he then brought your hand to his lips and gave it a light kiss, eyes trained on you.

“so if you accept me, then i’d be happy to court and protect you,” he finished his speech more quietly than he began and now was just politely waiting for your response.

for the rest of your life, if you allow me; he thought to himself, but these kinds of words are still too heavy for you to bear, he settles and doesnt say the rest of his initial sentence.

he came to accept that his lovers will come and go, since he is an immortal being, but it won’t stop him from giving his all to his loved ones.

“zhongli..” you said with trembling lips, as you tried your hardest not to cry.

you were falling in love with him slowly day by day, not even realising it and you’d never even think of him reciprocating your feelings and now it simply feels too overwhelming. in a good way, of course.

“is that a yes?” he squeezed your hand once more, his smile growing wider and eyes softer.

“of course,” you sniffed and pushed yourself into his embrace, not willing to let him see you cry, at least not yet.

you felt his heartbeat in your hug and you swear you never wanted to let go anymore.

“thank you,” he said gently and you felt his lips pressing to the top of your head.

you really chose the best man to fall in love with. ////// if you wanna be added to my genshin (or any other fandom) tag list then please either comment or dm me! also my requests are open so feel free to text me that as well, if you’d like <3

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #zhongli x reader #rex lapis x reader #zhongli #rex lapis #genshin #genshin zhongli #genshin fanfiction

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plant-flwrs · 3 years

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Hiii, i love your writing. I was wondering if you could do a remus lupin imagine. Were its mutual pinnin but they dont know the other like them. And sirus gets tired of it and takes pollyjuice to look like remus and get you to confess🥺

under the mistletoe // remus lupin

masterlist!

a/n: oh my god i’ve been non-stop reading atyd and it is my new obsession. it’s completely canon to me now. ty for ur request! i used they/them pronouns because you didn’t specify, so i hope that’s alright <3 oh! also! im gonna try this new thing w my fics to see if they flow better that way; instead of just jumping in time i’ll put a little indicator (-). wanted to try it out, dunno if i’ll keep using it. i’m so excited for christmas and this put me in an even more christmasy mood omg

summary: Staying at Hogwarts for the holidays seemed like the best way to avoid distractions, but with the Marauders there, distractions were guaranteed. Especially when your crush on Remus proves to be incredibly distracting.

cw: underage drinking (hangover vomiting), swearing (harmless, classic Sirius things)

(8k) (haven’t written this much in so long wow i forgot i could)

----------

The Gryffindor common room was your most favorite place in Hogwarts. It was warm and comforting, and you had some of your best memories there. With just a glance around the room you could feel your entire school career in just one room.

Though, now that you were in your sixth year, it wasn’t the leisurely place it used to be.

All around you, books touched any bare surface there was. N.E.W.T.’s were sooner than you’d like, sooner than anyone liked, and you were filled with anxiety. You knew your strenuous studying was a bit soon, but you felt like you had the weight of the world on your shoulders.

You felt so stressed, in fact, that not even Lily Evans could convince you to go home for the holidays that Christmas.

“Exams are months away, Y/n!” she sighed as you fell down onto the couch beside her, narrowly returning before curfew from the library, “You ought to enjoy Christmas.”

“I will enjoy it. Here,” you said, rolling your head back and closing your eyes.

You felt sore, as if you had run a marathon, but you had been locked away in the library all day.

Part of you, the smallest part, blamed Remus Lupin for this newfound obsession. Your fellow Gryffindor, the most studious boy in your year, was the initial reason for your new studying habits. You had started going to the library in an attempt to steal glances at him, an innocent crush that you most definitely let overcome you.

Remus had always gone to the library, you knew that, but ever since your O.W.L.’s he seemed to take extra pride in his work. You couldn’t blame him for secluding himself in the library, for that was the only place on campus that it seemed his rowdy friends did not go.

“You can’t enjoy Christmas alone,” Lily tutted, pulling the massive textbook off your lap and putting it on the table in front of you.

“You’re staying for the holidays, too?”

Sirius had just bounded down the stairs from the boys dormitories, his usual mischievous smirk on his face.

“Yes, they are,” Lily answered for you, turning to look at Sirius as he hovered behind you near the stairs.

“Well, that’s lucky,” he said, acting as if he had a secret he took pride in no one else knowing.

“Why is that, Sirius?” Lily sighed, becoming annoyed.

“Remus, James, Peter, and I are staying, too,” he said, smirk turning into a boyish smile.

“You are?” you opened your eyes and turned to face him, finally.

He met your gaze and nodded excitedly, seeming to already have the Christmas spirit in him.

“So you won’t be alone!” Lily said excitedly, then turned towards Sirius with a more dull tone, “Not the best company, but at least not alone.”

Sirius scoffed in mock offence, scrunching his face up with imaginary tears as he stomped back up the stairs.

“God, that lot is so bizarre,” she groaned, turning back to you on the couch to see you dozing off.

(-)

Snow fell on the grounds of Hogwarts, and you gazed at it from a fogged up window in the library.

Lily had gone, Mary had gone, Marlene had gone, just about everyone had gone. You had never stayed at Hogwarts for the holidays before, and you knew not many people did, but you expected more than there were.

No Slytherins had stayed, which was a welcomed absence from those who did. You knew the two Hufflepuffs that remained, but only because you had classes with them in your fourth year. The Ravenclaws that stayed, there couldn’t have been more than five of them, were often holed up the in the library with you. There were the most Gryffindors, five, including you and the marauders.

You were almost surprised that James had gone through with staying; Remus had mentioned wonderful things about the Potters and the Christmases they hosted. Still, he was here, cheerful as ever.

As your eyes blurred with tiredness and the window became nearly too fogged to see through, you sighed in frustration.

You missed your family, you missed home, and you really regretted staying at school. You decided to give yourself the day off from studying. With a glance down at your watch, you saw it was nearly lunch time anyways. You had slept in and missed breakfast, coming straight to the library, and your stomach felt empty.

You made your way to the common room, wanting to drop off the heavy books you had accumulated. Mumbling the password to the portrait, you stumbled through without noticing the rowdy conversation coming towards you.

You ran right into James’ chest, stumbling back and already mumbling an apology.

“Y/n?” he asked happily, as if he had been looking for you.

“Hey, guys,” you sighed, forcing a polite smile when all you really wanted to do was collapse on the couch and sleep for days.

“Sirius told us you were staying, but I’d thought you’d changed your mind. Haven’t seen you since the holiday started!” James’s booming and joyful voice made you want to cringe away, but you couldn’t manage anything less than a small smile at his kindness.

“I’ve been in the library,” you explained, chuckling at the horrified look on three of the four faces.

“You’re worse than I’d thought,” Sirius started, cut off by a sharp elbow to the ribcage by Remus, which only seemed to encourage him.

“We can’t have that,” James finished for him, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

“Oi,” Remus started, casting a sympathetic smile at you as he tried to stop his friends from potentially insulting you.

“Why don’t you come have lunch with us?” Peter squeaked from behind James as he glanced at the two dark-headed boys for some sort of approval, “We were just on our way down.”

“What a great idea, Wormtail!” Sirius boomed, earning himself another elbow to the side from Remus.

You glanced nervously at the boys in front of you, trying to discern if they were setting you up for a joke or teasing you.

“You don’t have to-” Remus blurted out, his cheeks pink, “-I mean, if you’re busy with your studies. I know how hard your working-”

“Nonsense, Moony!” James smiled, levitating your bag off your shoulder and easily landing it on the floor somewhere behind him, “they have to eat!”

You chuckled, ducking your head down as James slung his arm around your shoulder and escorted you back through the portrait hole.

You felt lighter immediately. Whether it was the absence of your heavy bag, or the way the boys’ easy conversation and laughter felt so inviting and warm, you did not know.

The self-pity you had been feeling only a moment ago seemed to go, too. James kept his brotherly arm around your shoulder all the way to the Great Hall, where he split his path and sat across from you. Sirius followed you down the isle, continuing his teasing conversation with Peter. James sat between Remus and Peter, his smile never faltering. He acted as if eating lunch with his mates and their tag-along was the best thing he had ever done.

Remus was quiet, almost shy, but you knew that. You had known him your entire time at Hogwarts, and the crush you had on him seemed to last that whole time. You had seen him come out of his shell as the years went on, but he didn’t seem nearly as comfortable as when he was with his friends.

You stifled your laughter with the back of your hand, blushing slightly at Sirius’s rude joke as he bumped his shoulder into yours. You looked down at your plate, pushing around the mashed potatoes that had grown cold.

“Sirius!” Peter yelped, his eyes wide in shock as he nervously glanced to you.

Sirius had made a crude joke, you knew that, but you hadn’t heard it. You and Remus had been meeting in short bursts of eye contact and the small action alone was making your spine shiver.

You looked up from your potatoes, seeing the boys fading with laughter and delve back into their food. That was something you never understood about boys; they sat down, ate and ate until they were done, and then got to talking. You, Lily, Marlene, and Mary could talk for hours while you ate, but the boys seemed unable to do more than one thing at once.

The thought brought a fond smile to your face, and you felt something bump against your shin. Looking up from your plate, you met Remus’s eyes again.

“What’s got you smiling?” he asked, his voice kind with a teasing nature behind it.

James looked up from his plate in the middle of shoving what had to be an entire chicken breast in his mouth, and began cooing at you as your cheeks flushed.

“’M just happy you lot stayed,” you blushed, refusing to meet Remus’s eyes, “would have been dreadful without your company.”

Sirius, without missing a beat, threw his arm around your shoulders and drew you into his chest. His large hand went to your head, ruffling up your hair. You cringed away, giggling and attempting to lay your hair smooth.

Everyone’s cheers in agreeance died down, and James roped Sirius into a heated discussion about Quidditch as Peter hung onto his every word.

“‘M happy you stayed, too,” Remus mumbled from across the table, his head ducked down as a blush was creeping up the back of his neck.

You fought the urge to break the eye contact, giving him a smile so wide that your cheeks burned.

You all returned to the common room with full stomachs and wide smiles, courtesy of James, who had just announced his newest plan at getting Lily’s attention. You just finished listing off all the reasons she would hate it, and he clambered through the portrait hole with a dazed smile that a lovesick puppy would have.

You trailed behind the boys, watching them all fall onto comfortable couches and armchairs. You looked at your limp backpack indignantly, choosing instead to follow them.

You curled up in an armchair that was across a large couch occupied by James and Sirius and to the left of another armchair occupied by Peter. Peter leaned forwards to rest his elbows on his knees, setting up a new chess game for him and Remus to play. Remus sat on the ground, eyelevel with the board. He noticed you looking at him and gave you a kind smile that made you look away, blushing.

The night was spent in leisure. You had barely wanted to get up for dinner, even Sirius suggested making Peter go down to the kitchens so they wouldn’t all have to go to the hall. In the end, you all went, having just as much of a good time as you did at lunch.

You wished them a goodnight after you fell asleep watching Sirius and Remus levitating the most valuable things they could find in the room, sending Peter into anxious fits every time they pretended to loose their balance. You groggily walked up the stairs to the dormitories, leaving your homework downstairs with a satisfied sigh.

For a few moments before you fell asleep again, Remus’s brilliant and bright smile was burned behind your eyes.

(-)

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Sirius groaned, throwing himself dramatically onto the couch with a huff.

“Shud up,” Remus groaned, falling into the armchair you had been sitting in. He could smell you on the chair, your scent floating into his nose like it was intoxicating.

“Really botched that one, mate,” James said with a chuckle, picking up a few of his Quidditch magazines off of the floor and putting them back on the coffee table, where Peter had accidentally knocked them off.

“Romance is confusing! How was I supposed to know?!” Remus groaned, lifting his head from his hands with a desperate look.

James gave him a knowing smirk, and Sirius groaned again.

“It was obvious! You always offer to walk a romantic interest home,” Sirius said, twirling his wand in his hand.

“They were just going upstairs,” Peter mumbled, seeming to agree with Remus.

“It’s alright, Moony,” James said, standing from the couch with a look of determination, “you’ve got all week to seduce them.”

“Shud up,” Remus groaned, repeating his request from earlier.

His eyes fell to the stairs you had climbed moments ago, remembering the peaceful look on your face as you slept, the adorable stretch you did once you woke up, the tired way you climbed the stairs, and that beautiful smile you gave them when you said goodnight.

Remus decided to stay in the common room for a bit longer once his friends had went upstairs, trying to force every second from the time you spent together that day into his memory permanently.

(-)

You woke up feeling more rested than you had in weeks. The sun was barely in the sky when you opened the curtains, your unusually empty room flooded with orange light. You dressed quickly, donning muggle clothes that you found incredibly comfortable.

You went down to the common room, seeing that the mess the boys had made last night was either cleaned by them or house elves. There was no sign of life in the Gryffindor tower, besides yourself, so you assumed the four were still soundly asleep upstairs.

You found your backpack, overflowing with loose papers, and shrugged it onto your shoulders. You had decided to get some work done today, seeing as your day off the day before was not scheduled.

You ate a quick breakfast in the empty hall, finding it odd and strangely discomforting to be in such a large room by yourself. It felt as if you were out past curfew.

The library was the same case. Madam Pince was not even at her desk yet, and you settled into a table by the window. You opened it a sliver, enjoying the cold winter air that seeped into the room. The sunlight warmed you, and the wind was gentle enough to not rustle your papers.

You dove into your work, feeling considerably better than yesterday, or the past month. Your muscles were loose, and the pressure you had been putting on yourself was no longer there. One night of fun proved to be harmless, and so did the marauders.

You smiled at the thought of it, at the thought of your little day with Remus. He had been so kind to you, so funny and charming. You had never liked someone as much as you liked Remus.

You found your gaze drifting out the window, looking past the castle and Hagrid’s hut and out into the Forbidden Forest. You couldn’t think of anything but the curly headed, dirty blonde boy. The way his eyes nervously darted to yours, his sheepish smile. The way he could easily make James, Sirius, and Peter fall into doubled-over laughter, almost as if good-naturedness came to him as easily as walking did.

The sun rose in the sky, and it was almost time for lunch. Even with your mind distracted, you had gotten done more work than you had expected. You decided that if the boys asked you to have lunch with them again, you wouldn’t decline.

It was as if your thoughts were read, because just as you were organizing your papers to put them away, Remus walked into the library. You fumbled a bit, realizing you smudged some fresh ink on your newly written Potions notes. You didn’t care, though, smiling widely and waving Remus over.

“Alright?” he asked groggily, rubbing his eyes as if he had just woken up.

“Yeah, you?” you couldn’t help but stare at him. His voice was deep and thick with sleep, and he pulled the sleeves of his sweater over his slender hands. He had a muggle novel tucked under his arm, and he put it on the table as he sat down across from you.

“Eh,” he started, looking at you with slight amusement, “James woke up at the crack of dawn to go to the pitch, and he woke up Sirius when he did. Sirius is a git if he gets woken up before noon.”

“That’s not a surprising piece of information,” you chuckled, setting down your papers and getting comfortable in your seat again.

“Yeah, best to stay out of the dorm when Sirius is in a mood. Peter went to ask for some extension on a paper he forgot to do,” Remus smiled fondly at his friends flaws, opening his book and propping it on his knee, “so I figured I’d come find you.”

“You found me,” you opened your ink bottle and dipped your quill into it, going over your Potions notes and fixing the smudged ink.

You were a bit disappointed by Remus’s reasons for coming to see you. Part of you had hoped he missed you, or enjoyed your presence. But the truth was that you were his only other option for company. Your chest deflated slightly as you stole a glance at him only to find him deeply invested in his book. Many conversation starters bubbled in your throat but you couldn’t bring yourself to voice any of them.

It was about an hour of silence in the library before Remus suggested lunch. He helped you pack up your things, humming under his breath as he led the way out of the library.

Lunch was soup, which you didn’t mind too much. Sirius was already at the table with James when you arrived. Remus sat next to you, across from his friends.

Sirius had his head propped up in his hand, lazily bringing soup to his mouth before dropping the spoon into the bowl with a clatter as his eyes fluttered shut. James rolled his eyes, shoving the bowl of soup away from him and wiping up the splattered mess from the table.

James eagerly dove into a cheery conversation about his solo Quidditch practice, and Remus reluctantly listened. You felt as exhausted as Sirius looked, even though you had a wonderful nights sleep. You hadn’t felt so tired until your upsetting thoughts about Remus, but now you could barely keep your eyes open. You hadn’t been sitting for more than ten minutes, your soup was barely eaten, but you just wanted to curl up in your dorm.

Peter came into the hall, filing down the row where you had Remus were sitting. He was getting close, and you stood.

“Here, Peter, have my seat,” you said, slowly standing as James’ face contorted with confusion. You could see him working out pleas for you to stay, and your heart warmed a bit.

“I’m gonna have a lay down,” you excused, not waiting for Sirius’s head to lift from his hand or for James to suggest all of you walking back together.

As you walked away, you heard Peter begin to chat about his essay extension.

(-)

Remus knew he had done something wrong. He knew it.

You had seemed happy to see him, you smiled at him, you were friendly, but at some point he said something to make you close off. He was looking forward to spending the morning in the library with you. He had made up the excuse of getting out of the dorm, knowing that with Pete and James gone and Sirius out cold, it would be fairly peaceful. Remus, however, wanted to see you.

You looked heavenly dressed in casual muggle clothes with the morning sun lighting your face. He was happy to sit with you, but you didn’t seem happy to sit with him.

He wondered if you were bothered by him and his friends. If yesterday hadn’t been as fun as he thought it was, and if you just wanted to be left alone. He felt a surge of annoyance with James for being so forward, but quickly drowned that out. It wasn’t James’s fault.

Remus stared into his bowl of soup, not listening to Pete as he complained about the essay he had to write.

James indulged Pete, listening to his complaints with sympathy as he dipped his bread into his soup. Sirius, however, could not be bothered.

He had come to attention when you left the table, watching your hunched shoulders and nervous hands pushing your hair off your face. He had even caught your sad glance over you shoulder at Remus before you finally turned to go upstairs. Sirius was thinking, he was thinking hard. He could read you and Remus like an open book. He had known you liked Remus since you started showing up to the library whenever Remus did, no matter how subtle you thought you were being.

Sirius looked at his friend, confusion knitted in his eyebrows as he hunched over his food. He gasped silently, catching James’s attention, as his eyes lit up with an idea.

(-)

For the next couple of days, it was not hard to avoid your fellow housemates. James and Sirius seemed to be sneaking off as often as they could, clutching their cloaks close to them as if they had something underneath them.

You avoided Remus, who presumably only had Pete to keep him company now, by staying in your dorm. The library wasn’t the only place you could study, and you spread your books all across Lily’s bed. You had begun to enjoy studying in your dorm, it was private and quiet, with no Madam Pince staring you down from her desk.

It wasn’t that you disliked the marauders’ company, because you didn’t. You really liked hanging out with the boys. You had just wanted to prevent any more heartache when hanging out with Remus. You had obsessed over your last interaction in the library, convincing yourself it would be best to stay away from the boy as to not attach yourself any further.

It was nearing the weekend, Christmas on the upcoming Saturday. You didn’t want to be in solitude on Christmas, but your pride prevented you from asking to hang out with the boys. You didn’t know what Sirius and James were up to, and you didn’t want to know. You didn’t feel like hanging out with Peter, because being in his presence alone made you just as anxious as he was. And Remus, Remus was an entirely different story. Just seeing Remus made your heart race unnervingly.

On Thursday night, you crept down the dormitory stairs and into the common room. You stopped and waited to hear for Peter and Remus, but it seemed they were still in their room. You were going down for an early dinner, hoping to eat quickly before everyone else came down.

You seemed to be successful, your plate was nearly cleared and there was no sign of anyone else. You were serving yourself pudding, your favorite pudding, when someone sat across from you.

You looked up. Your throat closed involuntarily, and your spoon froze on it’s way to your mouth. You straightened your back, eyes widening at the sight of him, and wiped your mouth nervously with your napkin.

“Hey, Remus,” you said, smiling politely at him as he began to dish himself food, “where are the rest of the boys?”

“Just me,” he said, his voice sounding a little higher than usual.

“Are you alright?” you watched him carefully as you noticed his posture was straighter than usual.

“Yeah,” he chuckled, looking at you now.

You looked at him, squinting your eyes. He seemed off, but you figured he could be nervous without his friends around.

“Okay,” you trailed off, returning to your pudding.

“Haven’t seen you much, recently,” he said confidently, the usual softness in his voice absent.

“I’ve just been up in my dorm,” you said, still gazing at him cautiously.

“Don’t want to spend time with Sirius, James, and I?”

You bit your lip, looking at him with a serious expression. Remus never excluded Peter when he was talking about his friends, but Sirius often did. You noted it, unsure what that could mean. Had Remus asked Sirius on advice at how to talk to you? The thought made you suppress nervous giggles.

“No, it’s not that,” you felt your cheeks warm under his blatant stare, “you know how crazy I am about the N.E.W.T.’s.”

Remus chuckled under his breath, slowly eating his pudding. This was also weird, because Remus usually devoured any food in front of him as if he was a starving animal.

“Remus, are you sure your alright?” you squinted at him, dropping your spoon and propping your chin up with your hand.

“Yes, I’m fine,” he said nonchalantly, squinting back at you.

He had remarkably less patience and ease than usual.

“Okay, well, I’m done eating. I think I’ll go back to the tower now,” you stood slowly, watching his face contort with urgency.

“Wait!” he called, standing too, “wait, come sit for a second.”

You joined him again, clearly suspicious. You wondered if he was distracting you while the boys set up a prank.

“I need to ask you something,” he whispered seriously, leaning closer to you over the table.

“What?”

“Do you fancy me?” he smirked at you, mischief in his eyes.

At first you wanted to shrink away, blush madly and sputter out lies to conceal your true feelings. But you didn’t. You kept his stare, a blank face looking into his daring one. You decided to make a guess.

“Sirius?” you said confidently, so it didn’t sound like a wild guess. You knew it was crazy. Surely, Sirius would never transfigure into his best friend to eat dinner alone with you and ask him about your feelings for him. Surely.

“How did you know!?” he asked, his voice now completely Sirius’s instead of his weird imitation of Remus’s voice.

“What!?” you questioned back, surprised that you were right, “It’s actually you, Sirius?”

Sirius’s face, well, still Remus’s face, dropped with disappointment, upset that he gave himself away.

“Yes,” he mumbled, moving his hand to tuck his hair behind his ear, only to remember Remus’s hair wasn’t that long.

“What are you playing at? How did you do this?” you motioned your hands at him, sounding more amazed than angry.

“Polyjuice Potion,” he said mischievously, his eyes meeting yours at the tone of your voice.

“That’s really advance stuff, Sirius,” you said, slightly impressed as you leaned back and crossed your arms.

“I had some help,” he said sneakily, and suddenly what he and James had been sneaking off for made sense.

“Are you two planning something? Testing out the costume on me?” you said excitedly, hoping the boys would let you in on whatever prank they had planned.

“Well, about that,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, “you sort of were the plan.”

You looked at him, confused. It felt weird to be talking so casually with Remus, and you fought the urge to blush every time he looked at you, knowing it was actually Sirius.

“I know you fancy Remus,” Sirius said, sounding a bit guilty.

This time, you could not resist shrinking away and blushing. You looked down at your lap, feeling incredibly embarrassed.

“But,” Sirius started again, his voice oddly comforting and kind, “I know Remus likes you, too.”

Your eyes shot up to meet Sirius’s, your face becoming somehow even more flushed.

“You were trying to get me to admit it to you? That I like him?” you asked him, heart racing.

“I just wanted you to confirm it,” he said, sounding even more guilty, “I didn’t want to try and set you two up if you didn’t like him back-”

“Set us up?!” you interrupted, eyes wide.

“Yeah,” he said casually.

“How do you plan on doing that, then?” You tried to sound annoyed in an attempt to hide just how excited you were.

Sirius had waved over James immediately, who has hiding behind a pillar in the courtyard looking in on you and Sirius. The two began talking almost as animatedly as two schoolgirls stricken with an exciting prospect of romance.

You watched, lazily propping your chin on your hand as they rambled on about the ways they thought you should confront Remus.

James had been quite keen on them influencing Remus to confront you, and Sirius reckoned you ought to “grow a pair” and kiss him yourself. James was nearly affronted by the idea, insisting on a classic and romantic gesture from Remus’s behalf.

Either way, you couldn’t fight an embarrassed blush that seemed permanently glued onto your cheeks. You swallowed heavily at any mention of kissing, which was being discussed at length. You had half a mind to stop the hopeful ramblings, but James and Sirius were Remus’s best friends, they had to be somewhat right about his feelings for you.

The conversation got remarkably easier, too, once the potion had warn off and it was Sirius in front of you instead of a fake Remus.

You looked into the courtyard, enjoying the cold air lofting into the room through the open doors, when you noticed Remus and Peter entering the room. The cold air had been helping in cooling your cheeks, but at the sight of Remus’s wide and carefree smile, they warmed immediately.

“Shut up!” you mumbled harshly to the still ranting dark-haired boys in front of you, kicking them each in the shin for good measure.

They looked offended, but Sirius caught your eye and smirked once he realized why they were silenced.

“Have you guys eaten already?” Peter asked, sounding disappointed as he sat next to you and saw your empty bowl of pudding.

“Just had an early lunch,” James said merrily, moving to scoop himself another bowl of pudding after he had eaten an entire lunch while he and Sirius were talking, “but we’ll stay while you guys eat.”

You swallowed hard, looking at James with wide eyes as he quirked an eyebrow at you. You were planning on leaving the second Remus sat between James and Sirius, right across from you, but now you couldn’t be so obvious.

“Haven’t seen you in a while, Y/n,” Peter mumbled from beside you, stuffing his face with a large heaping of peas.

You looked to Remus almost automatically, only to see him looking questioningly at you. You couldn’t resist the small smile that flirted on your lips as he averted your gaze quickly.

“I can’t get much work done with you lot around,” you teased, clearing the table in front of you and resting your elbows there, “I’ve been in my dorm, most days.”

“What about for Christmas?” Peter pried curiously, “Will you leave your dorm for Christmas?”

“Of course they will!” James boomed from across the table, causing a few tired looking Ravenclaws who were just coming in to glare at him apprehensively, “Starting Christmas Eve, they won’t be able to get rid of us.”

“Oh,” you looked to him, eyebrows raised in entertainment, “I won’t?”

Remus looked between you and James with an excited smile.

“Of course not,” Sirius said for James, picking a carrot off of Peter’s plate from across the table.

“For a limited time,” James said mysteriously, “you will have the honor of becoming a temporary Marauder.”

“They what?” Peter said from his goblet of pumpkin juice, causing some to splash back in his face.

“Peter!” Sirius groaned, annoyed with the boy, “Get in the holiday spirit!”

“Don’t worry Pete, just for a limited time. The holidays are a season of extending great charity to others,” James said, talking with humor in his tone.

“Charity?” you repeated, an amused smile on your face.

“We don’t let in just anyone,” Remus said, looking only at you.

When your eyes met his, you felt all the air leave your lungs. Your jaw clenched in an attempt to gather some sort of consciousness, but all you could do was look back at Remus.

“That’s true, ‘tis a great honor,” Sirius had raised his goblet in some sort of toast, and you had barely noticed until Remus was raising his glass.

You broke the contact, finally, and sputtered for a moment before you could find your goblet on the table. You rose it, hoping to lower it quickly as you noticed a slight tremble in your hand. Remus connected his goblet with yours gently, looking at you again while you were intent on avoiding his eyes. He had some sort of knowing smile on his face, and you felt very exposed to him. It felt like he was reaching in your chest and squeezing your heart for his own pleasure, and it scared you to know you could not tell him to stop.

(-)

Christmas Eve was very celebrated amongst the boys.

So celebrated, in fact, that Sirius insisted Christmas morning was a day for hangovers.

He had brought out the firewhisky fairly early into the afternoon. James had looked at him with nervousness, but nonetheless took a heaping sip when offered a glass. You sipped casually, not feeling all too comfortable with the chaos that seemed to lurk in Sirius’s eyes.

By the time the sun was beneath the horizon, Sirius and James were dancing some sort of Irish jig on a table, and Peter was very angrily talking to himself in a mirror. You and Remus, neither of you having very much to drink, sat comfortably on a couch, watching the night unfold.

“Why aren’t you drinking with them?” you asked Remus, glancing at his full cup and tensed shoulders.

He glanced down at you, nervously biting his lip and running a hand through his hair. Oh, how you wanted to touch his hair.

“I don’t really feel like being hungover on Christmas,” he said, noticing your full cup as well, “what about you?”

“I don’t think Lily would ever forgive me if she found out I got drunk with you lot on Christmas Eve,” you teased, smiling to yourself at the fond thought of your friend.

“I miss Lily,” Remus remarked simply, bringing his cup to his lips and taking a large gulp.

“Me too,” you sighed, doing the same and hoping it would ease your nerves, “she wrote to me yesterday. She’s having a lovely Christmas. Her sister is being awful, but that’s per usual.”

You and Remus shared a knowing smile, both thinking of the complaints you had heard from Lily about her sister.

“Have you written back yet?”

“No, not yet. I was going to wait until after Christmas,” you were waiting to write Lily back so you could thank her first for the undoubtedly wonderful present she got you. You didn’t know how, but Lily Evans always gave the most thoughtful presents.

“When you do, tell her we miss her,” Remus said softly, his cheeks beginning to flush pink as he watched with a smile his friends dancing.

You nodded, ducking your head to hide a smile.

“Oi!” James yelled, stopping his dance suddenly.

You and Remus froze as he looked at the pair of you, each wearing an entertained smile. James hopped off the table with ease, as if he was not drunk out of his mind and as if the table wasn’t a good four feet off the ground.

“Come dance,” James said once he finally reached the both of you, though, only offering you his hand.

He waved his wand at a muggle radio they had in the corner, and the volume increased. Sirius smiled widely, refreshing his drink with the dwindling amount of firewhisky left. You cautiously took James’s hand, letting him spin you as you giggled.

James caught Remus’s eye, the blonde boy watching you with adoration. James pulled you close, resting one hand on your shoulder as the other held your hand, and leaned in close to your ear.

“Moony is watching you,” he slurred, sounding excited, “I reckon he’ll make a move tonight if Sirius doesn’t finish all the liquor for himself!”

James pulled away, giggling once again like a schoolgirl. You could not help his infectious laughter, your forehead falling onto his shoulder as you laughed loudly. As if on que, Remus stood and walked with determination to Sirius. He took Sirius’s goblet and downed it, smiling widely and accomplishedly afterwards. He climbed on the table with Sirius, who had long forgotten about his stolen alcohol, and began awkwardly moving his lanky body in a way that could be called dancing in the most generous of terms. This made you laugh even more, and James had to nearly fully support your weight as your knees buckled with your hard laughter.

It was shaping up to be a lovely Christmas Eve.

(-)

Christmas, as Sirius had predicted, was a morning for hangovers. You had barely glanced at your mounds of presents at the foot of your bed, instead throwing on your warmest sweater and going immediately to breakfast.

It had been decorated, as it had all week, with great care. Today, however, the tree had been alit with wonderful and delicate decorations, sparkling under the enchanted ceiling. The entire room somehow smelled of pine, and the warm feeling of a fireplace shot down your spine when you sat down.

You cradled a cup of tea, hunching over and fighting the urge to fall back asleep at the table. You couldn’t bear to look at food yet, regretting the glasses you drank once Sirius had found that second bottle of firewhisky.

There was no sign of life in the castle, besides the lovely decorations, and you found yourself grateful.

It was as if, however, that you cursed yourself the second you thought this.

“Merry Christmas, Y/n!” James shouted from the entry way of the castle, his loud voice assaulting your ears even from such a distance. Beside him, Peter, Sirius, and Remus cringed away in pain, shrinking down and walking past him into the hall.

“Bloody. Fucking. Hell,” Sirius groaned once he sat down next to you, his head hitting the table as soon as he was still.

Remus sat on the other side of you, going at once for heaping servings of the hot food. You swallowed the vomit in your throat at the sight of so much food, forcing your eyes deep into your tea. James happily sat down next to Peter on the other side of the table, patting his friend merrily on the back. Peter winced audibly, a pained look on his face.

“How are you not hungover?” you whispered once you were sure you would not vomit.

“He never gets hungover,” Remus groaned from beside you, his mouth full of beans.

“Never?” you repeated, wincing as you reached for more tea.

“Never!” James said happily, obviously enjoying his wonderful, wonderful gift.

“Oi!” Sirius groaned, his head still buried in his arms.

James smiled.

“Eating helps, really,” Remus said from beside you, glancing an earnest look at you as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Mmmmm,” you groaned in response, ducking your head down as Sirius was doing to avoid vomiting.

“What a lovely Christmas this will be!” James said, earning a unanimous groan in response.

(-)

Getting back to the tower was a slow and painful process that included many bathroom breaks and headaches. You and Sirius had both ducked into the loo twice each to vomit, and James supposed it had something to do with climbing the stairs. Peter was limping for some reason, though you could not remember him hurting either of his legs the night before. Remus was nearly as recovered as James, just looking a bit tired.

After you were sure you had emptied your stomach of the tea you drank for breakfast, you were feeling a bit better. Your legs felt a little wobbly, and Remus must have noticed, because he offered his arm for you to steady yourself on as you walked along. Your mind was so foggy you almost had not noticed, but his strong arm beneath your fingers was enough to clear you up a little. You held him close to you, hoping the hangover was excuse enough. James gave you and encouraging smile, nodding enthusiastically. You were sure Sirius would be giving you a smirk if he wasn’t basically crawling down the halls.

Once you reached the common room, Remus had not retracted his arm. In fact, he had interlocked his hand with yours, still with your arms looped, and led you over to a couch. He sat very close to you and still did not remove himself from your grasp even as you were sitting. You felt so comfortable and warm next to him, you could not help but close your eyes and let your head fall on his shoulder.

(-)

James retreated upstairs with Peter. Peter had wanted a quick and undisturbed nap, and James returned downstairs a few moments later with his practice Quidditch robes on. Sirius had collapsed on an armchair the second he crawled into the room, and showed no indication of life as he fell into a deep sleep. James gave Remus an encouraging smile and two thumbs up, but did not dare to speak in case you weren’t asleep. Remus rolled his eyes, but was truly quite happy with the position he had found himself in.

Your arms were looped, hands intertwined, and your head rested delicately on his shoulder. He leaned his head against yours, breathing in the smell of your shampoo.

He had wanted to stay there forever.

(-)

When they all awoke, James was out of his Quidditch robes and in a thick wool sweater. He was polishing his broom with what looked like a new polishing set, perched on the armrest of a couch across from you and Remus. You had woken up when Sirius did, his loud yawns and stretches filling the room. When you lifted your head, you bumped into Remus’s head, and he woke up. Your cheek felt sore from pressing into his strong shoulder, and you looked down at you hands to see them still interlocked. You were sweaty and tired, but Remus looked down at you sleepily with complete happiness.

“Happy Christmas, you lazy bones,” James tutted like a mother would, putting down his broom and standing.

“Happy Christmas,” Remus said, smiling widely.

You sat up, removing yourself from Remus. He untangled your arms, removing his hand from yours. You felt sad at the absence, looking down at your lonely hand. Remus was looking too, and when you met his eyes he bit his bottom lip. With some slight hesitation, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you in for a side hug. You lingered, and he made no move to pull away, so you stayed there, tucked under his arm.

“I never looked at my presents this morning,” Sirius said, standing from his chair and motioning for James to follow him.

“Neither did I,” you said to Remus only, hearing the other two retreating upstairs.

“Want me to walk you up to your dorm?” he offered, adjusting his body so he could see your face.

You uncurled from him, nodding excitedly.

You stood from the couch, walking over to the stairs. You waited for Remus, watching as he slowly stood and stretched. You leaned against the door frame, supporting yourself on your hands behind you. Remus came over to you, walking slowly with a sleepy and dazed look on his face.

“Happy Christmas,” he repeated, only to you this time.

“Happy Christmas,” you said, smiling at him as he leaned against the door frame opposite of you.

It was a narrow space, and there were only a few inches between you two, but neither of you made any movement. You wanted to go upstairs and see what your family had sent, what Lily had given you, what all your friends had given you, but you couldn’t tear yourself from the handsome boy in front of you.

Your eyes danced all over his face, admiring his curly and unkempt hair that fell into his dark and kind eyes, his sharp jaw that you wanted to run your fingers across, his soft lips.

You were both so entrance in each other, that neither of you had noticed the greenery sprouting from the door frame above you. It was mistletoe, sprouting from the wooden door frame between you and Remus. Remus noticed, his eyes darting up at it. He looked down at you, seeing you had not noticed it, and chuckled.

This seemed to snap you out of it, and you stood upright, coming closer to Remus. You looked up at the growing plant, eyes widening when you saw the red berry forming before your eyes.

“Mistletoe?” Remus chuckled, entertained as he reached up and brushed it delicately with his slender fingers.

“Is it?” you managed to say, watching his hand.

“It is,” he said, retracting his hand and bringing it to rest on your cheek.

He gently cupped your face, pulling you close to him until your chests met and neither of your backs were touching the door frame. You closed the distance, meeting his lips with urgency and desperation. You didn’t care if James thought Remus ought to kiss you, you wanted nothing more than to kiss Remus. And Remus wanted nothing more than to kiss you. His other hand came to your waist, pulling you flush against him as his hand on your cheek moved to the side of your neck. You reached up and slid your hands from his shoulders to this neck and into his hair, feeling the soft curls between your fingers as you had wanted to for so long.

Remus pulled you impossibly close to him, as if he wanted nothing to come between you, until his force was moving you to lean against the door frame. The feeling of the wood was unexpected, and you gasped into Remus’s mouth when you felt it. Remus took this as an invitation to deepen the kiss, and you allowed him, sighing softly as his tongue explored your mouth.

“Mistletoe?!”

You and Remus broke apart, his hands still on you even though your bodies were no longer touching. You both looked up the stairs, seeing James, Sirius, and Peter looking down at you.

Sirius had the most mischievous smirk you had ever seen, sure that it would make Lily’s skin crawl if she saw it. James seemed so content that you’d think he’d just been kissed and Peter anxiously twirled his fingers as he averted your eyes, obviously feeling bad for interrupting.

“Mistletoe,” Remus said, his voice husk and his lips wet. It took a lot of will power to not sigh at the sight of him, or pull him in by his collar and kiss him again. Instead, you looked up at the boys like a deer caught in headlights.

“You owe me ten galleons,” James said to Sirius, causing Sirius to groan.

“How do you know he kissed them?!” Sirius complained, digging in his robe pockets for the money.

“He didn’t, I kissed him,” you said, looking up at Remus and licking your lips nervously.

“Hah! Hand it over, James,” Sirius gloated, removing his hand from his pocket and holding it out to James.

James groaned, still a smile on his lips, and handed Sirius the money.

“You didn’t think I’d kiss them first?” Remus asked Sirius, pulling you into his chest in a loving and protective way.

“Sorry, mate,” Sirius said with no remorse in his voice, climbing down the stairs and pushing past you and Remus.

James and Peter followed him, all fiddling with some new gift they had gotten. You looked up at Remus, deciding your Christmas presents could wait until Boxing Day, and pulled him out of the door way. You fell onto the couch, Remus following you, and you fell easily into conversation with the boys. Remus wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into his chest.

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nishimochas · 3 years

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❁﹝ 22:41 ‣ ˢˡᵒʷ ᵈᵃⁿᶜᶦⁿᵍ ᶦⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵃʳᵏ ﹞

‣ gender neutral trainee!reader with trainee!heeseung. inspired by joji's song of the same title.

‣ tw: some slight cursing, just a whole bunch of angst.

‣ word count: 1.9k

"god, i'm such an idiot."

you swore to protect yourself against his charms.

every moment you spent with lee heeseung began to slowly feel like an incredible burden. each waking memory you still hold of him had started morphing into something you hoped you'd never live to see. he was no one you should've fallen for. in his world, you were just someone who he smiles at and greets when it's convenient.

you knew you were nothing more than a friend to him. all the times you've comforted him when he was weak, all the moments you've stayed with him when he felt alone and defeated– you knew that he didn't see any of those the way you did. or rather, the way you hoped you didn't see it. he treated you like he did everyone else: he was kind, patient, caring as he'd always been. even at times where you think his eyes hold something different within them, when his hands were too close, too gentle to not mean intimacy, you'd dismiss it all the same.

that's just how he is, and you knew you were mistaken for thinking you were any special.

you told sunghoon and jay about it before, and they seemed supportive of your feelings. it seems that they, too, see the unusual tenderness the eldest has for you. but you, thinking it was all but a delusion, you paid no mind to their observations.

"how would they understand? they're just like him. they're perfect, all of them – and i'm just me."

who could blame you, though? being close friends with such a blameless human being is already a difficult feat.

but heeseung? he was nothing short of perfect, and you knew you couldn't last so long with denial.

violent sobs threatened to break loose from your tightened throat as you walked through the halls, somber fingers erasing any memory of tears still lingering atop your features. the biggest idiot, you were. a great fool to have allowed yourself to fall for him. in painful silence, you continued your way down the dreadful atmosphere of the practice halls.

the silence didn't last for long. there were footsteps, hushed yet languid.

and suddenly– music.

melancholic, powerful, raw. it was coming from the third isle.

with brows raised in query you approached, half hopeful and half hating the fact that it could very much be the one person you so wished to not see at the moment. still, your curiousity led you to the glass doors of the dance room, your witless bravery encouraging you to look further.

and to nobody's glorious surprise, there he was. he always looked perfect, but it took your breath away each time just the same.

holding a still and quiet breath had never felt like such a taxing job until that moment. you could barely move from your cramped position, let alone watch him properly in the dim lit room. a part of you was screaming, furious that you'd still let yourself indulge in such a luxury despite the aching you'd already gotten yourself into. but a bigger part was paralyzed. a bigger part fought– it wanted to do nothing more than to stay and be mesmerized.

you've forgotten how agonizing it was to watch heeseung move the way he does when he's vulnerable. it was as if every inch in his body sang along to the melody of the song, each telling their own parts of his tragic tale.

oh, how you loved how he danced when you were the only one watching. he hit every beat with such precision and delicacy that you couldn't help but stare every time you spectate. he always manages to catch you off guard, every single time.

you spent the rest of the few moments as a faraway audience, watching through a small sliver of the glass door from where you hoped he didn't see you. but just as quickly, that thought wavered off and you're caught in shock as your gaze met his through the mirror, and you could've sworn his eyes glowed when he saw you. no, it couldn't be– it was impossible. maybe you we're just making it all up in your head. and maybe your dismay was just as evident as you thought you'd confirmed it, the heartbeat's worth of crossing glances broken apart as the next verse of the song played.

how pathetic of you, really– to think that someone like him would look forward to seeing you. you were a nobody compared to him, and maybe things were meant to stay that way. but then, just as you were about to turn away, his eyes meet yours once more for a few beats before moving away again. it was tantalizing, how such a small thing was capable of luring you in. it was as if he's saying, 'stay. watch me. i know you're here.'

it would be a lie if you said you didn't want to keep on watching.

the thundering in your chest only doubled as he did it again for the third time, now nearing the end of the song. his porcelain skin glistened as the light reflected upon it, and you felt something within you wrench upon the sight.

there was no denying it anymore. you were in love with lee heeseung, and there was no changing it.

the thought settled into you bitterly, but somewhere along the lines lied hope also.

the atmosphere shook with quiet breathing as the song met it's end, his gaze not leaving the floor beneath him. tearing your own eyes away from his figure, you began to stand up; it was time for you to go. and just as you started walking, you heard that painstakingly familiar voice piercing through again.

"wait," god, you could recognize that voice from miles away.

"stay."

your tracks were brought to an abrupt halt, not yet finding the nerve to turn around and face him. heeseung made it clear in his tone that he was talking to you, but your tremendous idiocy decided to state the obvious nonetheless.

"...me?" you both knew the answer. a few seconds of silence, then a sigh from behind you. those seconds felt like forever.

"look at me." you hated hearing those words, hated having to follow them even more. but you did. you turned around just as he told you to, and there he was by the door, holding it open with the weight of his shoulders. another sigh escaped his lips. you stood there, frozen, waiting for his next words.

"dance with me."

the words rang through you like a riddle; it took every ounce of restraint not to look at him like he was a lunatic. it was a simple request– yet, given how you've been dealing with your emotions, the request took such a toll on your barely comprehending mind. and, as if he understood every question that flooded your system, he went back inside the studio, gesturing you to follow has he did. despite the internal war that seized your entire body, you followed suite.

you stood near the entrance with your head hung low, wishing at that very moment for the earth to open up and swallow you whole. your fingers twiddled with each other in an awkward tangle as you waited for him to speak again. not long after, he finally did.

"remember you did a choreo with me once, the one after auditions?" of course you remembered it, you couldn't get your mind off of it since it happened.

"how could i forget? it was one of my favorite songs." your remark was met with a chuckle, and as if on cue, joji's slow dancing in the dark echoed within the confinements of the practice room. the movements came over to heeseung naturally, and you fought the instinct of it rushing through your own. he seemed to have noticed it, too. next thing you knew, your hands were in his and he's leading you to the middle.

"come on, i know you still remember the moves." he teased, a hint of a grin tugging at the corners of his lips. you couldn't help but chuckle along, shaking your head slightly in feigned embarrassment as you gave into the music and danced along with him. it still felt as intimate and forlorn as before, maybe even more so now. the small, still furious part within you wanted to tear itself apart every time your body met his touch; and as the song came to an end with you in his arms, at that moment, it seemed like the only thing that mattered.

"oh god, are you alright?" he fussed as he saw your reflection on the practice mirror. you barely noticed the tears that came flooding out, the pooling they made on the shirt that you wore. you nodded slightly, looking up to give heeseung a little half-hearted smile. without missing a beat, he wrapped his arms around you, enveloping your frame in a warm embrace. you couldn't tell what was happening, why the tears wouldn't stop, why you still feel horrible after all of it. he broke it off shortly and instead took your face into his cupped palms, tilting your head upwards so he could study your distressed visage.

still, the tears fell. no matter how much effort you'd placed into stopping them, they fell still. heeseung watched you intently, troubled and with worry lingering across his eyes. and as they kept falling still, he leaned in slowly towards where they were falling, and one by one, kissed the teardrops away.

"heeseung, i dont understand..."

"i heard what you said to sunghoon and jay. i was in the other room. i didn't mean to eavesdrop but i thought i heard your voice and... well, yeah."

your felt your heart drop into your stomach, a dry lump now beginning to form in your throat. the last thing you'd have wanted at that moment was for heeseung to know, but as it turns out, it seemed as if your worst fear has manifested in from of you.

you had no other choice now.

you shook your head as you mused a broken laugh, the next few words that came out of your mouth more poisonous to you than it was to him.

"i love you." you shrugged, half expecting him to turn away right as you said those words. "i guess there's no point in denying that now."

heeseung's breath started becoming uneven as his grip around you loosened, and you could almost see you the words as they started to unfold within his frenzied mind. he shook it off with a rather harsh jolt, and you took it as your cue to start leaving. you dismissed it, too, and began stepping away from his hold. it hurt as much as you expected it to.

"i know it's the stupidest thing, god i swear im so sorry, i really didn't mean–"

...oh.

you had no idea how it happened, why he thought of it or what made him do it but a small voice within you told you to savor it, so you did. his lips pressed against yours with a dulcet warmth and you wanted more, more more– you gave him everything at that moment, and he gladly gave you just as much, too. he tasted so sweet and so addicting, better than anything you could've possibly hoped for. and as your own tiers finally parted from his, saturated with the desperate need for air, the ghost of the words you thought you'd never hear from him urged out as he whispered;

"i love you, too. i have since the start."

❁ :: did i really need to hurt myself that much? no. but life isn't fair, janet, now repeat after me: giVE ME REASONS WE SHOULD BE COMPLETE–

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pkmntrashcan · 3 years

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Pink Skies [Bede x Gloria]

Bederia Week 2021 | Day 7 | First Anniversary

[Read on AO3]

They’ve had a moment like this before.

It was on the Isle of Armor long before he could even call her a friend. The whirlwind of a season had just come to an end and he was barely getting his footing as a gym leader in training...only for Opal to send him off to the middle of nowhere.

He remembered being irritated. Having no sense of enjoyment on the dilapidated part of Galar. And it didn’t help that the weather was too unpredictable, or that his training regime gave him no extra challenge. He could get behind the smaller population, however the wilderness made it less than ideal.

And it’s on the beach where he and Hatterene stood one late afternoon that she found him. He didn’t expect it, to see her of all people there: Gloria, his rival, clad in an eyesore of an outfit.

He’s sure he heard rumors of the Champion going off to train by herself in the middle of nowhere. But he could care less about what she was up to.

Yet she paid no mind to all of that, giving him small, but exhausted smile. And her presence was strangely warm towards him though he gave her no reason to be.

It was strange that he didn’t cast her off. Instead choosing to reminisce on what happened to lead him there and she gave him bright wishes for what was to come next all whilst the sky glowed pink and the sun set behind her.

His eyes pull away from the horizon Gloria loved to watch so much. It was strange to willingly be in the Wild Area--but it was her request for their first anniversary. His only caveat? Absolutely no camping. She agreed begrudgingly while also stating that because of his stipulation he was in charge of baking then.

She ended up helping anyways,

But as they sit on a blanket, desserts long gone, and their Pokemon chirping and playing near her set up tent, he can’t help but to be amused at the focus on her face. Her sunhat was tilted far up to not obscure her view, her brow slightly furrowed, her glasses slipping down her nose, her lips in a pout as end of her brush taps her lips before she’s back to looking at the page.

It was rather adorable.

And although he couldn’t get a look of what had her so focused, he assumed it must’ve been the view laid out in front of them. Why else would she only be looking his way ever so often?

Bede chuckles, propping his head in his left and his right reaching for her free hand. Her eyes flickering to his touch, the pink in her cheeks mirroring that of the rosy sky.

“I could’ve taken you out somewhere nice and romantic, Gloria,” he states matter-of-factly, “a nice dinner, a garden, even a library if that tickled your fancy. Why something we could see every day?”

A small hum escapes her. Her dress brushing across the fabric of the blanket as she scooted closer, the the bracelet on her wrist: his an anniversary gift to her, jingling against his skin as she interlaced their fingers while notes of jasmine and honey waft around him with the gentle breeze.

”Do you really want to know?” she asks cheekily as Bede just lifts her hand to his lips in silence.

She hands over her notebook, her head plopping against his shoulder.

“Think of it as a second gift for our anniversary.”

And it’s there he gets a close look of what she was working on so diligently.

It was a painting.

Of him.

His violet eyes vibrant, his skin detailed with the pinks of his undertone--there’s attention to things he’s sure no one would ever notice how his eyelashes had hints of darker blonde, the direction his curls were carefully placed in, and how his lips would naturally fall when he’s relaxed. He’s surrounded by the warm tones of orange and pink they currently were witnessing, whilst splashes of indigo, of purple--the hint of night sky begin to seep in at the corners.

“I know it’s not much and I need to frame it, but” she bites her bottom lip, “do you like it?”

She sounds so hopeful in her tone, her eyes seeking some sort of reaction from him.

But he’s stunned.

At not only the effort and execution, but that this is what she saw in him. Sure, he’s heard Galar announce it time and time again that he’s beautiful, charming. And Gloria was never shy to let him know that he was ethereal.

But strange was the conflict of self-hatred and pride.

And it’s overwhelming.

The feelings Gloria so effortlessly stirred up in him. The ones that not only had him reaching out for her, but that filled him with hope for himself. That someone as caring and beautiful as her saw him as something to cherish as well. And she always had a knack for causing turmoil in him, but this time these were good feelings. Ones he only wanted to experience with her.

Ones he knew he never wanted to go away.

And it’s uncouth of him to do things without thought, in many ways it’s when he’s brash and having no concern for who is on the receiving end of his sneers, but for once he thinks his response needs to be.

He’s placing the notebook to his left as he closes the distance between them. “Bede?” said softly as curiosity etches its way onto her face. He pays it no mind, effortlessly removing her sunhat as it lightly thumps on the ground. His fingers careful to caress gently down her face. Tenderly touching to cup her cheek, to keep her close to him.

His heart squeezes at how she melts into his touch, how her eyes glimmer up at him, how she doesn't ever force him to speak until he's ready. She's intuitive like that. He appreciates it.

He can't help but to look at her softly. This was the same girl he always strived to beat in battle.

But this is one battle she ultimately won--stealing his heart. Making him hers.

His forehead leans against hers for a moment. He steels himself.

And he finally speaks.

“I love it, I love you.” Breathy, whispered, and just between them. The sweetest gasp is heard before his lips swallow it. Her smile tasting reminiscent of the earl gray, of the cookies, of her--something he could never get enough of. She’s soft. She’s home. She’s the only one to ignite this in him.

She's happy, he can tell by the way her kisses change in pace, little giggles following suit. He can’t help but to chuckle back, kisses turning into light little pecks, her arms coming up around him. The weight shift throwing them off balance as his head hits the grass.

He’s glancing up at her as her hair trickles down to tickle his face.

She’s laughing, mouthing ‘are you okay?’

And for now Bede won’t mind the leaves that’ll get in his hair or the grass stains his sweater will ultimately suffer by.

“With you how can I not be?” easily pulling her down back to his lips as the sun sets behind them.

#bederia #bederiaweek2021 #btyu #bede x gloria #bederiaweek #dressedinpinkshipping #myfics

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ladyfogg · 3 years

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May I? - 26/?

Fic Summary: Ensign Faith Diaz struggles to hide her mental illness from her fellow shipmates aboard the Enterprise until an intrigued Data goes out of his way to try to understand her behavior. At his insistence, Faith tries to figure out what she’s truly passionate about and eventually seeks the professional help she needs. Fic Masterpost.

Fic Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Data/Female OC

Warnings: tw: depression, tw: anxiety, fluff, friends to lovers, eventual smut

Screenshot courtesy of @geekygwen

Faith hadn’t realized how much her duties had weighed on her until Data asked her to take shore leave. She knew that he wouldn’t have broached the subject if he wasn’t concerned. She had tried to throw herself more into her work. Geordi and Captain Picard believed she was capable enough to handle the responsibilities that came with her promotion to lieutenant, and she didn’t want to disappoint them.

Without realizing it, she had thrown herself completely into her work without thinking of anything else. Foolishly, she thought if she could just push through the exhaustion and anxiety, it would all get better. She had been wrong.

It didn’t help that the idea of taking a break and leaving the ship behind sent her into a nervous spiral.

After weeks of this behavior, Data had walked her to sickbay himself, where she was given a full physical by Dr. Crusher. The results were unsurprising: exhaustion. True, literal, physical exhaustion.

She was immediately put on leave and ordered to rest.

It was only then that she agreed to take a vacation. Data put in their official shore leave requests that same day. Commander Riker approved it within the hour, stating, “What took you so damn long?”

Now that the time had come, Faith found herself just as nervous as she was before. But she was determined to work through it, to take the advice from her doctor, counselor, and boyfriend. So, she had to let her anxieties go and prepare for the first vacation she'd had in years.

Data had offered to plan their time away and she let him, not only because she had no clue where to start, but because she knew he enjoyed making plans for them.

“Are you at least feeling some excitement?” Deanna asked during Faith’s therapy.

Given Faith’s current mental state, they had upped their number of sessions to twice a week. She currently sat in Deanna’s office, foot nervously bouncing. Per her request, Deanna had agreed to see her the day of their departure for one final pep talk.

“I’ve been trying really hard. It’s been difficult,” Faith said. “I know Data is looking forward to it and I don’t want to ruin his fun like I ruined his romantic date a few weeks ago.”

“Faith, I don’t believe you ruined anything. Considering that evening led to some very powerful confessions from the both of you.”

Faith smiled softly, remembering the way Data had told her he loved her. They had repeated the words to each other several times since it happened, and each time made her just as warm and elated as the first.

“I still have a hard time believing it myself,” she said.

Deanna smiled back. “I don’t. It was obvious that the feelings between you two were progressing. I always felt as though Data had some emotional capabilities long before his first angry outburst. As an outsider, it’s been wonderful to watch your relationship develop and to see the love growing between you two shared out in the open.”

“Thank you, Counselor.”

“Are you still uneasy discussing the intimate nature of your relationship?” Deanna asked. “Not that I want to pry. I just want you to know that should you wish to discuss those particular feelings, I am a professional and ready to listen.”

Faith smirked. “Sure that’s the counselor part of you talking or the friend part of you?”

Deanna giggled. “A little of both.”

Faith could feel her cheeks flush at the thought of her sexual relationship with Data. “All I will say is, his flawless precision and attention to detail translate very well into the bedroom.”

Deanna’s grin widened even though Faith could tell she was trying to keep her composure and demeanor professional. “Well, I am happy to hear that you feel comfortable enough with me to share such information.”

“After our vacation, let’s have a girls' night with Beverly and I’ll share more. Sound good?”

“I’ll hold you to that! So if there’s nothing else you wish to talk about, it is my duty as your counselor and superior officer to order you to enjoy your shore leave. Leave your problems behind. And enjoy much-needed alone time with your love.”

“I’ll try.”

Deanna gave her a big hug before she left. “You’ll do great. Just focus on a certain android’s attention to detail.”

That made Faith laugh and she hugged Deanna back. “Will do.”

On her way back to her quarters, Faith couldn’t help but stop by Engineering. She hadn’t been there in a few days and it was instinct to make sure everything was set before she let. Deep down, what she truly wanted to do was see if Geordi was somehow annoyed with her for not being on duty. The fear of disappointing authority figures in her life was as strong as ever. But she was working on it.

When she arrived, Geordi was as busy as always but paused when he saw her. “Diaz, what are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to stop by and see if you needed anything.”

“Shouldn’t you be getting ready to take your shore leave?”

Faith felt embarrassed for feeling like she needed reassurance from someone who was pretty much the same age as she was. “Well, yeah but, I still have some time. If there’s something you need me to take care of before I go…”

Geordi chuckled. “Everything is under control, Faith,” he assured her before she could continue babbling.

“Oh, okay. Great. Good. Sorry. I know I haven’t been my best lately. I just figured I’d offer my help just in case.”

Geordi studied her for a moment before putting his PADD down and giving her his full attention. “Faith,” he said, his voice in a soft yet serious tone. “You don’t have anything to worry about. I’m not doing to demote you because you need a break.”

A weight she hadn’t realized she carried lifted slightly and she realized how foolish she was being. “No, I know that. I didn’t think you would. At least, I hoped you wouldn’t.”

“Everyone needs a break from time to time,” Geordi said. “I’m taking my leave when you come back. No one can be ‘on’ all the time. I don’t expect it for myself nor the people I command. You’ve done exceptional work and have earned your title. Please don’t work yourself to death on my or anyone else’s account. You’ve more than earned your time off. Go. Enjoy it.”

Faith hesitated. “Are you sure?” she couldn’t help but ask.

Geordi laughed and placed his hands on her shoulders so he could look at her directly. “Diaz, go on vacation. That’s an order.”

With that, her turned her around and gave her a light shove towards the turbo-lift. Getting the message loud and clear, Faith allowed the movement and followed through. When she returned to her and Data’s quarters, the android was waiting patiently.

“Ah, Faith, there you are. We should be arriving at Tridas 6S in one hour. Are you prepared for our departure?”

“As prepared as I’ll ever be.”

She had already packed and repacked their belongings. Thankfully with replicators available at their destination they didn’t need to pack much. Spot had been fed and Barclay would be looking after her for the length of their vacation. With nothing left to do, she took a seat on the sofa and began her breathing exercises.

Data sat with her. “I believe once we are at the hotel, you will feel much better. I have chosen a location that offers isolation for those who desire, yet still has amenities for us to partake.”

The idea of peace and quiet with Data did make her feel better. “That sounds nice,” she said.

“I hope you will enjoy yourself.”

“I’ll try. I really will.”

“I will be with you the entire time.”

Wrapping her arms around him, she crawled into his lap and rested her head against his shoulder. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“I could list suggestions but I do not believe that is what you desire.”

Faith laughed. “No, no it’s not. I just wanted to let you know how much you’re appreciated.”

“Thank you. Would you like to rest here until it is time to go?”

“I would like that very much.”

They stayed snuggled together on the sofa until they were alerted to the ship’s arrival. Data and Faith weren’t the only ones disembarking. Others were taking shore leave on the planet, though Data and Faith were vacationing on a less busy side.

Before she knew it, she and Data were called to the transporter for their departure. Data took their bag in one hand and held Faith’s hand with the other. She clutched it tightly, giving herself an internal pep talk before they left their quarters.

Along the route, they ran into Captain Picard and Commander Riker.

“Ah, Data, Ms. Diaz,” Picard said. “On your way to Tridas?”

“That is correct,” Data said. “We will be vacationing at the Triple Seashore Cabins, off the coast of Sunterre Isles.”

“A nice quiet romantic spot,” Riker said with a knowing smirk. “Perfect place to be alone.”

Picard raised his eyebrow in amusement but let the comment slide. “I hope you both enjoy your well-deserved shore leave,” he said.

“Thank you, Captain,” Data said. “Is there anything you require before we leave?”

“No, not at all. Have a good time.”

Faith offered a smile and a nod. She didn’t say anything, not trusting herself to speak after her babbling incident in Engineering. Truth be told, she was plagued with nausea from her anxiety, her stomach rolling with each step towards the transporter room.

Chief O’Brien stood at the controls and smiled at them as they entered. “Coordinates have been entered and the transporter pad is ready when you are, Commander.”

“Thank you, Chief.”

O’Brien looked over at Faith. “You alright, Diaz?”

She took a deep breath. “Yeah, yeah I’ll be fine.”

“I remember my first time taking shore leave after a promotion. Trust me, a lot of us have felt the way you’re feeling now.”

In the past, she would have felt like he was just trying to be nice. But her work with Counselor Troi had made her come to understand that many people did in fact feel the way she did and she appreciated his attempt to calm her nerves. “Thanks, Chief. It really is hard to tear yourself away from work, isn’t it?”

“Enjoy it,” O’Brien said with a reassuring nod. “Should be a smooth transport. Nothing to worry about. I’ll drop you right in the lobby of the hotel.”

Faith nodded and followed Data onto the transporter. With his strong hand in hers and smile, some of her anxiety wane.

“Energize,” she said.

She felt the tug of the transporter and the next thing she knew, there were standing in the small lobby of a comfortable-looking building. While the architecture was alien, the warm colors reminded her of many of the places she had been to on Earth. The knot of emotion in her stomach was still there but she was able to let out a slow exhale.

“You are doing quite well,” Data assured her, leading her to one of the many kiosks that stood off to the side. “Let us check-in and settle into our cabin. We are here for seven days. We can take our time.”

“Thank you for your patience,” Faith said. “And for planning all this.”

“You are welcome.”

Data checked them in and the two of them followed the floor markers through the hotel and out one of the back doors. When Faith saw the view, it took her breath away.

While she had done her research on the planet and where they would be staying, it hadn’t prepared her for the stunning ocean view. The building they had left sat atop a hill, which overlooked three distinct shores and stretches of white sandy beaches. His program on the holodeck was nothing compared to the real thing. The smell of saltwater invaded her nostrils and a warm breeze ruffled her hair. Her whole body relaxed as the sun, real sun, hit her face. Actually, there were two suns when she managed to glance up with her eyes shielded.

Data noticed the change immediately. “I was hoping a tropical setting would act as a reminder of where your family came from. I know you expressed the desire to return there at some point. As we are far from Earth, I thought this would be a close alternative.”

“Data, it’s perfect.”

She slipped her arm around his waist as he slipped his around her shoulders. Together they walked for some time until they found the cabin that would be their home for the next two weeks.

After spending so much time on the ship, listening to the hum of Engineering and conversations of her fellow crewmates, Faith appreciated the crashing waves.

Their cabin was a small wooden building, surrounded by numerous kinds of vegetation and a deck that jutted out towards the shore. The ocean was only a few feet away and Faith imagined when the tide came in, the water could easily reach the steps.

“Do you like it?” Data asked as they walked up onto the deck.

“I love it.” She leaned on the railing, unable to stop staring at the gorgeous view.

Data placed their suitcase inside before coming to stand with her. He took her hand and they admired the stretch of beach before them.

“What do you wish to do first?” he asked. “Are you hungry? You did not eat much at breakfast.”

“I just want to stand here and watch the waves with you.”

Data smiled softly and remained where he was, holding Faith’s hand as they admired the view. That only lasted a few minutes because then Faith’s stomach rumbled, making her chuckle.

“I guess you were right. I am hungry. Where’s a place to get a meal around here?”

“We do not have to leave the cabin. There is a replicator inside. What would you like?”

“How about a picnic? We can spread a blanket out on the sand.”

“If you wish.”

As he went to gather what they would need, Faith kicked out of her shoes and stepped onto the white sand. It was warm and pliable underneath her feet as she walked towards the water’s edge. She closed her eyes and surrendered to the sensations.

She hadn’t realized how much she missed being near the ocean until that moment. It had been far too many years since she found herself on a real beach.

Behind her, Data’s footsteps approached. She turned to find him carrying a picnic basket with a blanket tucked under his arm. Together they laid out the blanket and Faith made herself comfortable while Data unpacked their food.

She recognized many of her favorites, snacks that she tended to eat when she didn’t want to have a full meal. Berries, cheese, crackers, assorted nuts, and a thermos filled with a smoothie that seemed to be made from the exotic fruits native to the planet. “This is wonderful,” she said with a smile. “I didn’t realize how much I needed this until I was here.”

“I must admit, I too did not realize I needed a change of scenery. Though I do not require rest, a respite from one’s work is important.”

Faith found herself glancing around on more than one occasion. For some reason, she felt like they were never truly alone. Maybe it was just her anxiety, or maybe it was because she was so used to their fellow crewmates. Either way, try as she might, she could never fully relax.

Data noticed. “Faith, I have scanned the area and our nearest neighbors are some distance. We have this stretch of beach to ourselves.”

She exhaled slowly. “Good to know.” As she reached for a piece of fruit, she snuggled up against Data.

He wound his arm around her and held her close while she ate. She didn’t have much, only enough to settle her rumbling stomach. Once she grew accustomed to her surroundings and felt Data’s familiar embrace, more of the tension left her until she was finally comfortable.

With a sigh, she closed her eyes and rested her head against Data’s shoulder.

“Faith, what would you like to do once you leave Starfleet?” he asked after they had enjoyed the silence for some time.

“You mean when I retire?”

“Retire or leave for something else.”

Faith considered his question for a moment, opening her eyes so she could watch the waves. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “At least, nothing specific. I think I’d like this. I’d like to be somewhere quiet, watching and listening to the waves.”

“I have always thought I might return to the academy later in my life, possibly to teach. But now…” It was so rare for Data not to finish his thought, at least with her.

When he didn’t continue, she gave him a questioning look. “Is that not something you want anymore?”

“I do not. The academy is not located on the beach.”

Faith smiled and leaned towards him. They shared a kiss before she drew back with a mischievous grin.

“Can you swim?” she asked.

“At first, I was unequipped to tread water but once this flaw was detected, Geordi and I made modifications to protect my circuits. I can also act as a floating device.”

“So that’s a yes?”

“Yes.”

“Great.” Faith rose to her feet.

After a moment of contemplation, she decided to push the rest of her anxiety aside and started to strip.

At first, Data did not notice as he stood. “I believe the replicator can construct swimwear…” He paused when he realized Faith was getting naked. “Or we can swim nude.”

“You said our neighbors are far, right? And you will know if anyone comes close?”

“That is correct.”

Faith threw her shirt at him and gave him a playful smile. “So, let’s swim, android-boy.”

Data watched with wide eyes as Faith walked towards the water, fully naked. Which each step, any pesky lingering anxieties were gone, and when she finally felt the ocean wash over her feet, it was like her entire being breathed a sigh of relief.

She glanced back over her shoulder to see Data removing his clothes and carefully folding them. With an affectionate smile, Faith waited until he gently placed them on the blanket before he joined her.

Grinning, Faith pulled him with her as she ran into the next wave, allowing herself to get swept up in the water. It was so warm, it was almost like a bath and felt absolutely heavenly. Data remained perfectly still as the waves washed over him, dousing him completely.

Faith laughed at his lack of reaction. He gave her a puzzled look.

“Did I do something humorous?” he asked.

Faith pulled them deeper into the water until it was chest-high. “Only you can be washed up in waves and look completely unperturbed.”

“I was not aware I should be.”

“You don’t have to. Sometimes I forget how strong you are and that things like waves can’t push you over.” She swam in circles around him. “Have you tried splashing around?”

“No.”

Faith smirked and when the next wave came, she splashed it at Data, hitting him in the face. He blinked.

“I see.”

The next thing she knew, a huge wave came at her, sending her crashing backward under the water. When she came up spitting and coughing. Data was there immediately.

“Was that too much?” he asked.

When she could breathe properly, Faith began to laugh. “Just a little bit,” she said, still lightly coughing seawater in between her laugher. “Maybe we should stick to just enjoying each other’s company.”

She wrapped her arms and legs around him in a hug.

“While I do still have much to learn about human behavior, I can report that when it comes to our romantic interactions, I have developed some skill,” Data said, his arms automatically slipping around her waist.

“Data, you’re wonderful. You always say that you’re not human but through our relationship, you’ve helped me realize that I was barely human myself. At least, I didn’t see myself as such. You’ve always seen the best in me and helped me see it too.”

“I only spoke the truth.”

Faith hugged him close, their foreheads touching. “And it means the world to me.”

She kissed him deeply. Surrounded by the warmth of the ocean and the heat of Data’s embrace, she felt as secure as she had on the ship.

They swam for some time until the suns started to set and the air grew colder. Only then did they return to shore, gather the remnants of their picnic, and head inside.

While Faith showered, she found herself smiling, her body already feeling less tense by the minute. Why had she waited so long? Now that she had distance between herself and her duties, she could see why her friends were concerned. Up until the point Beverly examined her, she had been sure her feelings were all in her head. It turned out that was only partially true. The anxiety was in her head, the physical toll it had taken was very real. She had worked herself to the point of literal exhaustion and would have kept going if Data hadn’t intervened.

Speaking of her beautiful android boy, he was dressed in civilian clothing when she emerged, something she rarely witnessed. She was so used to him being in uniform or naked. To see him sitting there in gray pants and a blue shirt felt strange. She realized this was another side of Data she hadn’t seen before, one he himself probably hadn’t partaken in. The relaxed, leisure side was also an important staple of being human.

“We’ve talked about how I’m feeling but how are you doing?” she asked, sinking into the squishy sofa next to him. “Is this your first shore leave?”

“I have taken shore leave before,” Data said. “To attend conferences and symposiums. This is my first recreational shore leave.”

“And? What do you think so far?”

Data cocked his head, contemplating her question. “It certainly is different. When we left the Enterprise, I made it a point to halt all background processes having to do with Starfleet-related functions. I also wrote a vacation subroutine based on research I have done on what one does to ‘relax’.”

Faith picked up one of the glasses of wine that sat on the small round table in front of them. “I wish I could write a subroutine in my brain. It’d make things a heck of a lot easier.”

“I once spoke with Counselor Troi on the subject and she explained that when humans repeat certain behaviors, it is the equivalent of how I construct my programming.”

“Meaning if I want to relax I should try to do it more.”

“Correct.”

Faith chuckled and took a sip of wine, only to realize it was not synthehol. She sputtered and coughed, unprepared for the robust flavors of real alcohol.

“Are you alright?” Data asked. “I was assured this vintage was special.”

“Y-yes. I’m fine, I just wasn’t prepared for real wine. Where did you get it?”

“It was a gift from Captain Picard. He said it was from his family’s vineyard on Earth.”

Faith had no idea Captain Picard’s family owned a vineyard, which wasn’t surprising considering she didn’t spend much time with him. There was very little she knew of the Captain’s personal life.

Now that she was prepared, the next sip was delicious. “That’s so nice of him to share this with you.”

Data smiled. “Shared this with us,” he corrected. “He gave it to me when I informed him of our shore leave.”

She smiled softly. “That makes it even more special.” She held up her glass for a toast. Data followed through, tapping his glass to hers before they took a sip together.

Once they did, Data put his glass down and stood. On the wall panel, he pressed a series of buttons, and then the cabin was filled with soft music. Data offered his hand to Faith.

She graciously accepted.

As they slowly danced, Faith rested her cheek to Data’s, closing her eyes and enjoying the moment. They hadn’t had one such as this since the art show. It made her realize how little time she had set aside for romance. Not that she could blame herself. It had been years since she had been in any kind of long-term relationship and they had never been like what she had with Data.

“Data,” she said in a soft voice. “Will you make me a promise?”

“Certainly.”

“Promise me we’ll always make time for this. For us.”

“I promise. If you promise to do the same.”

She drew back to look him in the eye. “I haven’t been doing so well at that, have I?”

“You have been consumed with work.”

He was right. In her attempt to keep herself going, she had let a lot fall by the wayside, not just in regards to her health.

“That’s no excuse,” she said. “I’ve been so wrapped up in my own crap I’ve been neglecting you. And I’m sorry.”

“I do not feel neglected. My words were not meant to guilt you.”

“I know. And they didn’t. They just pointed out how distracted I’ve been.”

Data held her close, his temple resting against hers. “Allow me to provide an alternate distraction.”

Warmth flooded her system and she relaxed in his arms. “You’re doing a marvelous job.”

They danced for hours. At least it felt like hours. There was no one to interrupt them. No duties to get to. No one to tell them there were other more important things to do. Because at that moment, there wasn’t anything more important than the two of them finally having time alone. Time to just be together.

It was like a dream.

The quiet music. The wine. The dim lights. It was like Data had reached into her subconscious and drew out her deepest desire.

When the music finally faded away and the room was silent, Faith let out a content sigh. “I love you. So much. I never thought I could love someone this much.”

“I never believed I could love at all.”

“Oh, Data.” She slipped her arms around his neck and drew back to meet his gaze. “You’ve been loving people this whole time. In your own way.”

He smiled softly, the beautiful smile that she loved so much. She stopped their dance, stroking his cheek as she admired the face she had committed to memory. Data initiated the kiss, leaning in so quickly it was as if he couldn’t help himself.

His increasing impulsiveness when it came to affection always sent a shudder down her spine.

When they withdrew so she could catch her breath, she brushed her nose against his. “Let’s make use of that big bed in the other room.”

“A wise decision, mi alma.”

#lt commander data #Lt. Commander Data #commander data #data tng #Data Soong #may i?

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rohad93 · 4 years

Text

Moonlit Masquerade: Full Circle

Part 12 of The Moonlit Masquerade Series

The first free day they both have together after Luz proposes, Amity all but drags Luz to the market so she can buy her fiancée her own ring. Luz groans as Amity pulls her out of bed at the crack of dawn.

Though it's less pulling and more slipping out of her grip in bed to get dressed and refusing to come back to bed when Luz moans for her to come back and snuggle with her.

"Vuelve a la cama, quiero acurrucarme," she moaned from face down on her pillow.

Amity rolled her eyes even as she kneeled over the bed to press a kiss to the back of Luz's head and rub a hand over her back, trying to rouse her quickly without having to toss her out of the bed as sometimes was the case.

"We can snuggle later, querida."

"Or, and consider this…. we could snuggle now…" Her head popped up from the pillow to look at her sleepily.

"We need to do this now," Amity said firmly even as she grinned at her. Luz groaned, head dropping back to the pillow.

"When you said we were gonna spend all day together, getting up at the crack of dawn to go to the market was not what I had in mind…," she mumbled.

Amity sighed, rolling her eyes fondly as she crawled fully back into the bed and wrapped her arms around Luz, lips pressed against her ear.

"We have all day, Luz. I'll take you to breakfast after and I promise, I'll make it worth your while later." The statement was punctuated by a kiss to her neck as Amity threaded her fingers through her hair. "...but we have to do this now."

Luz sighed into her pillow

"...fine," she mumbled. Amity smiled and pressed another brief kiss to her neck before rolling out of bed so Luz could push herself up only for Amity to toss a shirt and pants at her.

Luz grumbles as she flips back the blankets and starts getting dressed.

"Do we have to?" she asks with a sigh as she changes.

"You don't want a ring?" Amity asks, brows furrowed, and she's in the middle of pulling a shirt over her head, so Luz can't see her fiancée's face, but she knows the slight hurt tone when she hears it, she's intimately familiar with all Amity's tones of voice.

"Of course I want everyone to know I'm engaged to the most beautiful witch on the Boiling Isles, mi amor, but do we have to go to the market before dawn?" She finally pulls the tunic over her head and turns to Amity.

"Yes, the stand I want to go to gets there before the sun comes up and he sells out of his wares by breakfast. We need to go now," she says, turning and walking out of their room, Luz following, grabbing her staff off the hook on the wall as she does.

"Why don't you just buy one for me…?" she asks between a yawn.

"I want you to have the one you want." is the answer.

"Are you saying you don't like your ring?" Luz asks, and she's teasing, she knows Amity loves her ring, she'd taken every opportunity to show it to her siblings and their friends over the past week, but that doesn't stop her from spinning around on the stairs, eyes wide.

"What?! No! It's beautiful, Luz," she hurriedly assures.

"Hey, hey, I was teasing, I know you like it…"

"I love it," Amity corrects. "I just…," she sighs. "I just want to get you something you love just as much, and I haven't a clue where to even start… you don't wear jewelry except earrings…," she says and Luz shrugs.

"Never had much interest in it," she agrees with a shrug, stepping down to the step just above the one Amity is standing on so she can lean down over her. "I'd like anything you gave me, Amity." Luz reminds, cupping a cheek in her hand and leaned in to press a soft kiss against her mouth.

"I know you would…," Amity hums against her lips as she pulls back. "But, please Luz, let me do this?"

Luz couldn't say no to that pleading look even if she wanted to.

"I'm already out of bed and dressed so we might as well." She grins and Amity smiles at her.

The morning is warm and it promises to be a hot day, but they've set aside the whole day just to be together, and no matter the weather, that makes it perfect. Those days were much fewer in between since the rebellion. They were both busy often. They had played such pivotal roles in starting and ending the rebellion that people often looked to the two of them and their friends in the past year. There are always problems to solve and people to help adjust, but not today.

They have plenty of time to spare, so they walk, hand in hand to town. Glad to enjoy this unhurried moment together.

"Have you thought any about what you want to do for the wedding?" Luz asked her.

"I've… had some ideas…" Amity hedges, not willing to admit how much she's actually thought out in the one week since they got engaged whenever she had a few minutes between duties.

But Luz knows Amity. She's a planner, and if there was ever anything she'd be eager to plan, it's their wedding.

"You already have a whole notebook full of stuff don't you?" She grins knowingly and watches Amity's cheeks pink.

"It's not full… just like… half," she mumbled and Luz laughed. "They're just ideas! I wouldn't do any actual planning without you… though…," she trailed off. Luz squeezed her hand.

"We haven't really talked about a date yet, but… I have one in mind if it's alright with you."

"Shoot." Luz smiled at her.

"The 31st of October," Amity says.

"Halloween?" Luz can't help but grin at that. To her great surprise, her first October in the Isles, they did in fact have Halloween, though it looked a little different than in the human realm. No one dressed up as witches or werewolves, except her, since all those things existed here. They dressed up as humans. Doctors and lawyers and just everyday human objects. She'd never forget the two years Gus went as a toaster.

Amity smiled, she had a good feeling Luz would like that.

"Yes, but that's not the reason I picked it, querida. It's the next blue moon," she said.

" The bl- the blue moon!" Luz lit up. "That's perfect, amor!"

"Yeah?" Amity smiled.

"Yeah! There's something… hmm, not ironic, but you know what I mean, like, coming full circle." Luz tapped her chin, trying to think of the right word.

"That was my thought exactly." Amity nodded. "I also know how much you love Halloween." she grinned.

"It's true, I do." Luz smiled. "Though I get a distinct feeling that you're not going to let our wedding be costume themed…," she trailed off suggestively.

"No," is the deadpan answer.

"Fine…," Luz pouts. Amity rolled her eyes for the third time since waking up; forty-five minutes ago.

"So, October?"

"October" Luz agrees. "Could I wear an orange suit?" She tries and Amity laughs.

"If you want… but please don't. Orange is not your color, Luz."

"I know, I just wanted to see if you'd let me."

"It is your wedding too."

"Yeah, but you get kinda controlling when you're in charge of planning things, amor," Luz smirks at her as they walk through the market.

"I…!" Amity's mouth closes with a quiet click. She knows it's true, the first blue moon masquerade she'd had to throw after she'd turned sixteen had been a little tense, not the party, but the planning, she'd been a little hard on their friends and Luz, with her anal-retentive tendencies. Luz described her as "type A" and after she actually explained what that meant Amity had to admit it was true.

"I… am going to try very hard, not to do that. I want us to do this together," she said after a moment. Luz smiled at her and lifted their interlaced hands to lay a kiss on the back of Amity's hand in answer.

Amity pulls them to a certain stall in the market and she recognizes him.

He's large and scaly with four eyes and a tail. The same merchant Luz had bought Amity's broach from years ago. The one she still wears pinned to her shirt, under her cloak.

"Miss Blight, Miss Noceda!" He greets happily as they approach.

That's something Luz is still getting used to, people recognizing and knowing her. They and their friends had been pretty front and center during the rebellion after all.

"Good morning, Mr. Azbar." Amity greets him.

"How can I be of service to you today?" He asks looking between them, all four eyes blinking.

"We're looking for a ring," Amity tells him. He hums and gestures to a section of his wares, where some are sitting in their cloth slots on display.

Luz looks them over carefully. They're all pretty, but nothing she would really describe as her style. They're either too big or too much, more in the style that the upper class of Isles society would wear. Very showy, which once, Luz would have jumped at, but her flair for being bright and loud had settled some with age. She doesn't need to be loud or over the top for people to look and pay attention to her. She's not an insecure teenager anymore. She has the attention of all the people she needs.

She's still over the top at heart, but only with those closest to her.

"They're nice," she finally says. "But nothing really jumps out at me." She shrugs and Amity looks disappointed, while Azbar hums, looking at her thoughtfully.

"I do have something else, it was a special order, but the gentlemen who ordered it was a loyalist and met a rather… unfortunate end last year…" he says, tail swaying behind him.

"Sure, let's see it." Luz nods.

He digs under his stall before pulling out a little black box and pops it open.

"Oh, wow," Luz breathes.

It's a silver band with little scrolling patterns engraved into the sides, but the gem inlaid atop it is obviously the centerpiece. It's a bright plum color, with a vaguely star-shaped white pattern on its surface.

"It's beautiful." Amity agrees.

"It's a plum star jewel." He says and Amity's eyes widen at that. "Ahh, I see you're familiar with the stone, Miss. Blight," Azbar says.

"Plum star?" Luz questions.

"They're quite rare, something about their composition and how they're formed, only on the head, allows them to act as conduits for the natural magic of the Isles," Amity explains to her. "That would be perfect for you actually, Luz, it would probably increase your glyphs powers by letting you more easily draw on the magic of the Isles." Amity smiles.

"It's really pretty too." Luz looks at it with starry eyes and Amity sees how enamored Luz is with the ring.

"How much?" she asks him.

"Three-thousand-five hundred"

"Ay dios mio!" Luz shouts, standing up straight, eyes blown wide.

"For the two of you, however, I would take two. I'm certainly not going to make any money from the dead man who ordered it."

"We'll take it," Amity says, and Luz's head whips to her.

"What, No!" she half shouts at her.

"You like this one, I know you do, Luz," Amity says.

"That's a ridiculous amount to spend on my ring, Amity," she argues.

"How much did you spend on my ring?" she asks, planting a hand on her hip, and Luz pursed her lips.

Amity may not know for certain, but she grew up in the upper classes, she knows what a fine piece of jewelry looks like, and what it costs, and she knows her ring is just that. So she has a pretty good idea, and highly suspects Luz paid more than what she's proposing to spend right now.

"I don't have to answer that question." She crosses her arms and turns her nose up.

"Mhmm…," Amity hums knowingly. Luz huffs. "Luz, you said you'd let me buy you the ring you wanted," she reminds and Luz grumbles.

When they were young, Luz had always been weird about money, she never had any qualms about spending her own, hard-earned money on Amity, but never liked it when she spent money on her.

It wasn't until they were older that she admitted that she just never wanted it to seem like she was taking advantage of the money Amity came from. Which she personally thought was ridiculous, she was quite happy to spend her family's money on Luz. It made her mother angry and she liked to make Luz happy; both wins in her book. Especially so long as her father still funded her and the twins, when they asked, and even if he didn't, Amity would still be glad to work just so she could make her future wife happy.

This however was not funded by her father, this was money Amity had been saving for some time, just for this. Luz had simply beat her to the punch. After the first time they had talked about marriage, several years ago, she had started a separate savings fund just for this, and had been quite diligent in putting into it over that time.

They had worked it out, but sometimes, Luz still got a little skittish about it.

"This is the one you want, I know it is, so please?"

Luz sighed, looking at her before glancing back at the ring.

"Alright, yes. That's the one I want," she finally admitted, and Amity smiled, turning to Azbar, who grinned, showing off a mouth full of sharp teeth.

"Excellent!" He closed the box and Amity spun a finger, a sac of snails falling out into her open palm, which she gladly traded off for the box.

"A pleasure to do business with you both, and congratulations." He nodded.

"Thank you," they both said before they walked down the street.

Amity popped it open and pulled the ring from its box and held her hand out.

Luz set her hand in Amity's and let her slip the ring on her finger. She flexed it experimentally, testing the new weight into her hand.

"Well?" Amity asked.

"It's beautiful, amor," she agreed. "Thank you." She smiled, looking up at her. Amity smiled back before leaning down to kiss her.

"Come on, I promised you breakfast," she mumbled against her lips.

~ ~

Two days after their trip to the market Luz is standing in the kitchen brewing potions when Amity and Lilith come home from the Council headquarters, formerly Emperor Belos' castle, at mid-morning.

"Hey, you two are back really early." She grins at them, and they both smile back, but there's something off about it. "Something wrong, was the council such a pain in the ass you left early?" She cocks a brow as she stirs a large orange batch of something.

"No, we've been digging through some of the Belos' more secret places in the depths of the castle, and we found something yesterday, we've been doing some tests on it and have found it to be in perfect working condition…," Lilith trails off. Amity is biting her lip, which makes Luz frown. She only does that when she was worried or nervous.

"What did you find?" Luz asks curiously.

Lilith and Amity share a glance.

"We brought it home, I think it would be better if we showed you," Lilith said before turning to Amity. "Get Eda."

Amity nods before hurrying up the stairs to the younger Clawthorne sister's room.

"Now you're scaring me…" Luz frowned. "Why is Amity upset?"

Lilith frowned.

"She's not upset, just… anxious, I suppose," she hedges.

Amity then returns with Eda.

"So what did you find in that Bozos' castle?" She crosses her arms.

"Come see for yourself." Lilith looks at her seriously.

She leads them outside and around the back of the house and the second it comes into view both Luz and Eda stop cold.

Sitting there in the grass, it's one golden eye staring back at them, is the portal.

Luz is breathless as the door from her dreams and nightmares looks back at her.

Eda's shock doesn't last as long, but then her worried eyes are on Luz, along with Amity's and Lilith's.

"The portal…," she breathes, finally taking a step toward it.

Amity is twisting her fingers anxiously in her cloak as she watches. Her ring feels heavy on her finger.

The door looks like it has seen better days, it's pieces patchworked together with bits of metal and who knows what. He somehow fixed it after she destroyed it.

"You said it works?" Luz finally looks at Lilith, who nods.

"We've been testing it's magic extensively since yesterday morning, and it works every time," she said. "We brought it back, so you may use it, if you wish." She glanced at a fidgeting Amity.

Luz blinks at that.

Her mother… she could finally see her again, tell her where she's been for the past six years.

Slowly she nods.

"Yes,...I...I need my staff!" She turns around and ran back into the house.

Amity feels like she's on the verge of hyperventilating as she stands there, motionless in the yard. Luz needed this, needed to see her mother after all these years.

But what if she decided she didn't want to come back to the Isles?

What if she decided not to come back to her?

The thought is ridiculous, but the fear remains, bubbling in her chest anxiously.

Luz comes running back with her staff in its holster on her back and she still looks shocked and bewildered, but determined.

"Are you sure you're ready, Luz? You don't need to go right this second..." Eda tells her cautiously, she feels much like Amity but is better at hiding it than the younger witch.

"No… " Luz shakes her head. "but it's been six years, I can't make her wait any longer." Eda is frowning but nods.

She takes a step toward the door but stops to glance at Amity and can immediately tell by the hunch of her shoulders and the way her brows furrow between her eyes as she clutches at her cloak that she's scared. Of what, Luz isn't sure, but her fiancée's apparent discomfort beats out her other roiling emotions for the moment and she moves to her.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asks quietly, reaching out to take hold of her left hand in hers. Their rings make a quiet clinking noise.

Amity shakes her head.

Truthfully, as soon as she had seen the portal in the dank nether regions of the castle, she had wanted to destroy it and never tell Luz about it.

It makes her ashamed to admit that she probably would have if Lilith hadn't been standing there with her. She and Lilith had discussed this at great length since they had found the portal, and as much as she didn't want to, she had to give Luz the choice, because she loved her; it wasn't fair or right to take that choice away from her.

She had to have faith that the woman she loved would come back to her.

"Nothing, Luz… just…" she can't think of anything to say that wouldn't sound selfish or admit how she feels because guilting Luz into not going would be selfish too, and even if she wasn't trying to guilt her, she knew Luz, and Luz would stay if she thought she didn't want her to go.

Luz seems to understand, at least a little bit.

"Hey, it's okay. I'll be fine and back soon, mi amor," she gently assures her with a kiss.

Amity just nods, and then Luz pulls away and turns to the door. She takes a deep breath and with a final glance around at the gathered witches, she opens the door and a blinding light fills the door frame and lights her silhouette as she steps through and it closes behind her.

Amity takes a shuddering breath and spins a finger and her staff appears.

"I'm going back to the castle…," is all she says, and then is flying off before Eda or Lilith can say anything.

"She's worried…" Lilith frowns, watching her go.

"Me too…" Eda frowns at the closed door.

The moment Luz steps through the other side she's hit by an assortment of sounds and smells that tug at her memory but also assault her senses.

Even standing in the doorway to the rickety shack in the woods, she can hear the sounds of traffic, something almost foreign to her now, and smell the slight unnaturalness in the air from the everyday pollution. She wrinkles her nose at it.

She also feels strange… like she's been cut off from something, it's hard to put it into words.

She pulls a glyph from her pocket and when she tries to cast the simple light spell the paper disintegrates into dust.

Frowning, she reaches for her staff.

She pulls it from her back and gives it a test, her palisman's eyes glow and a few light spells pop into existence and she sighs in relief, not only because at least the magic of her staff works, but because when she feels it's power course through her, she realizes what the strange feeling is.

Being cut off from the magic of the Isles.

Having learned and trained the last six years to use the wild magic that came from the island itself, she had a deep connection to it, going into another realm and cutting herself off from it feels like losing an appendage; like a phantom limb. she can almost feel it and she knows it's supposed to be there but it isn't and she can keenly feel its loss.

She slips her staff back into its holster and walks down the rickety wooden steps of the abandoned house and follows the path till she's standing next to the street and looks around as cars drive past, their engines loud and cacophonous.

She guessed that the human world really was always this loud, she'd just grown used to not having all the noise of industrialization around her all the time in the demon realm.

She turns and freezes.

There it is, the small house on the corner that was her childhood home.

She swallows thickly.

What if her mother didn't live there anymore? What if she moved away after Luz had disappeared?

As she stands there worrying, a car pulls into the driveway and a woman steps out and Luz's heart stops.

The woman is a little older now. With far more gray in her hair, but it's her mother.

She stands there motionless, watching Camila Noceda walk into the house.

Luz squared her shoulders. It was time.

She walks quickly up to the house and stands on the porch.

She thought about this moment countless times over the last six years, and she had always thought she knew what she was going to say or do when this moment came, but now that she's standing here about to make it a reality, she has no idea.

She takes a deep calming breath and reaches a shaky hand up, hesitating only a moment before finally knocking on the door.

It feels like an eternity, but it's probably only a minute at best before the door clicks open and her mother is standing there, looking at her from the other side.

"Yes, how-" she starts but stops as she stares at the young woman standing on her porch, looking so strange in her cloak, with leather pouches hanging off her hips and a long stick with a carved owl on top hanging off her back, but she looks so achingly familiar it makes Camila's heart twist and she tries to stomp down the hope rising in her chest. How many girls had she seen from behind over the years and hoped had been her little girl? Y-yes?"

"Hi, Mamí." Is all Luz can think to say.

Camila sucks in a sharp breath and her eyes glaze over as she shakes her head.

"You… you can't be…," she says shakily, gripping the doorway tightly.

"It is. It's me." Luz smiles, her own eyes starting to burn with tears.

"Luz… I… tell me, tell me something only Luz would know!" she demands but it's more begging, pleading with this familiar-looking stranger to please be who she says she is.

"Something only I would know…," Luz repeats, thinking. "Um, when I was ten you had to pick me up from school because I blew up a glitter bomb in science class and claimed I didn't need science because I had ma…"

"Magic…," Camila chokes and the tears are suddenly pouring down her face. "Luz!" she wails, throwing herself on her, and her grip is so tight Luz can barely breathe, but she holds her back just as tightly, her own tears finally dripping from her face as they sink to a pile on the porch.

They sit there for a very long time, till her mother can't cry anymore and neither can she.

Camila finally pulls back to look at her, eyes red and puffy and she cups Luz's face in her hands.

"You're a grown woman…," her mother sniffles, looking at her so sadly, even as she smiles at her. "You never came home… I looked for so long…" tears are still sliding down her cheeks. "Where have you been, Mija?" she finally asks desperately.

"We better go inside so you can sit down… you're not going to believe me…," she says and Camila frowns at that.

She doesn't believe her; at first.

Luz tells her where she's been and Camila thinks she's gone crazy, until she proves it by doing some spells with her staff and pulls her old phone out of her pocket she grabbed when she went to get her staff, and begins showing her the photos and videos she's taken over the years of the Isles, of Eda, Lilith, King, and Hooty. She carefully avoids the ones of Amity for now. She doesn't want to overload her mother by telling her she's engaged, as though that would be the hardest thing to believe in her story…

Camila sits amazed and silent for a long while as she explains Belos' and having to destroy the portal to save Eda, even though it effectively cut her off from the human realm. She talks about going to Hexside, graduating, and her friends, which makes Camila smile.

Eventually, she starts asking questions and Luz is happy to answer them all. They sit there for hours, talking. Luz gestures wildly as she tells her stories and Camila can see it clearly.

Her excitable little girl, in this older, mature, young woman sitting next to her, and for the first time in years, doesn't feel the hollow ache in her heart that had been present since the day Luz had disappeared.

It's when Luz is gesturing wildly with her hands that Camila notes the glint on her left hand and gasps, making Luz stop.

"What?" She blinks and Camila grabs her left hand and is looking at the silver ring and it's glinting violet, and white, oval stone.

"You're married, Mija?!" Camila all but shouts. She missed her daughter's wedding?!

"Engaged, actually…" Luz grins. Guess she was going to tell her about Amity now. "Just a week ago in fact."

"Engaged! Tell me, tell me all about him!" Her mother is smiling.

"Her, actually," she says nervously. Her mother had known she was bi, but she had been fourteen at the time and this was a totally different thing.

"Tell me about her." Her mother still demands and Luz smiles.

"Her name is Amity… we've been together six years, since that first summer…"

Luz then launches into what she refers to as an epic tale of romance and adventure.

Even if it starts with Amity not liking her very much. She goes through it all.

Their first meeting at Hexside, the covention, Grom, grudgby, the masquerade and so many of the little moments in between up to Luz's proposal last week and then the finding of the portal door.

Camila asks many questions about Amity and everyone and makes faces throughout. Exasperated at so many of her daughter's antics and happy for all her triumphs.

By the end of it all, tears are welling up in her eyes again.

"I've missed so much of your life…," she says sadly.

Luz grabs her hands and holds them tightly between hers.

"You've missed some, but I promise you won't miss anymore." She smiles.

Camila nods but is frowning.

"You're not coming back to stay are you?" she asks and Luz frowns.

"No…" Luz shook her head. "The rest of my family… my friends… the love of my life... they're all back on the Bolling Isles...I've made a life there, besides, we both know I never fit in here… that's why you sent me to summer camp in the first place…"

Camila flinches at that. How often over the last six years had she wished with all her heart that she had never sent Luz away?

"You could have…" Camila starts but Luz shakes her head.

"Mamí, everyone at school hated me. I never told you about it because I didn't want you to worry, but no one wanted to be friends with me. They picked on me constantly. I was never going to be like them, but back home… I get to be everything and do everything I ever wanted. For my part in the rebellion, people respect me, I have friends that would do anything if I asked them and a fiancée who loves me," she says and squeezes her mom's hands. "The Isles are my home."

Camila sniffles but nods sadly.

"You really have grown up, Mija," she says.

"You can still be a part of my life. Now that the portal is working I can come to visit you anytime and you can come to visit me."

"I would like to meet your friends and Amity." She smiles and Luz grins brightly.

"You'll love her!" Luz promised.

Camila tells her about the very hard two years just after she disappeared and all the time she spent looking for her before finally giving up, and it makes guilt swell in Luz's gut, but she knows there's nothing to do about it now. She never stopped trying to find a way, it just never panned out anytime they thought they had a lead.

They talked for hours until Luz realizes the sun is coming up. She's been here since yesterday morning.

"Mierda!" She jumps up off the couch. "I've been here a whole twenty-four hours, Amity is probably worried about me!"

Camila stands, and though the last thing she wants is to see Luz go, she knows she must.

"Come back soon, please, Mija…" she says and Luz smiles and hugs her.

"I promise I'll be back in a day or two, I'll take you to meet everyone."

"I'd like that…" she smiles and squeezes her daughter tightly and walks her to the door.

Luz bounds down the steps and turns to smile and wave at her. Camila waves back, and then Luz is running down the street toward the woods. Camila stands on the porch, watching her go until she can't see her anymore.

She hops up the steps and opens the door and is relieved when she steps through into the demon realm. There was a small fear in the back of her mind that the door might not work.

As soon as she steps back out, into the backyard of the owl house, she can feel her connection to the Isles return, like stepping out of a stuffy house out into the cool fresh air. She breathes deeply and smiles as she runs around to the front of the house.

"Luz, your back!" Hooty stretched out to greet her, wriggling happily.

"I'm back," she grins at him and steps inside.

Lilith is sitting on the couch and looks up when she walks in.

"You're back!" She sounds relieved.

"Of course, is Amity here? I have a lot to tell her."

"No, she left early this morning, she… seemed upset." Lilith hesitates to tell her, but Luz deserves to know.

She frowns but nods. She would have to make up for that. She was gone longer than she meant to be and never meant to worry her.

"I'll talk to her when she gets home,"

"How was it?" Lilith asks curiously and Luz grins.

"Great. We had a lot to talk about but... I think my mom's gonna be okay. She just needs some time to soak it all up I think." She shrugs and Lilith nods.

"It is a lot to take in."

"Is Mom home?" she asks. And Lilith cocks a brow at that but nods.

"In the kitchen."

Luz walks into the kitchen where Eda is standing at their brewing station, working on something.

"I'm back!" she announces, making Eda look up, she looks relieved to see her.

"Hey, kid. How'd it go?" she asks cautiously.

Luz smiles and tells her all about it. Eda nods along, listening to her story.

"I think things are going to be kind of interesting, introducing mamí to everyone and the Isles," she chuckles.

Eda nods and Luz hums, walking over. Eda has been kind of quiet.

"Something up, momma?" she asks, hopping up on the counter next to where Eda is working. She shakes her head, the word stings her today.

"Come on, tell me." Luz nudges her with her foot and Eda sighs, knowing that Luz isn't going to go away until she speaks.

"Lilith had me looking at the seating chart she's helping Amity with for the wedding, had me in the front row, but now that you got your mom back, she should have that spot, kid," she says.

"Huh?" Luz blinks at her owlishly. She can read between the lines. Is that what has her all down, she thinks that Luz isn't going to look at her as her mother anymore?

She has her mamí back, it's true, but Luz isn't going anywhere, and no one, even her birth mother could ever take the place Eda has claimed In her heart, just as Eda could never really take Camila's.

"Your mom should be in the front row at the wedding, Luz," Eda says, not looking up from the potion she's working on.

"You will be." Luz says, "and Mamí will be right next to you."

"Luz, it's ok…," she says quietly, and Luz's frown deepens.

"She's my mom... but so are you." She asserts.

"Luz you don't need to-" Eda sighs.

"You are," Luz affirms, cutting her off and hopping off the counter to stand eye to eye with the older witch. "You didn't have to take me in, take care of me, or teach me magic, but you did, for six years you did all these things you didn't have to. You certainly didn't have to love me, but you did, and I love you. You'll always be my mom, and you'll sit right next to mamí in the front row at my wedding where you belong," she tells her, leaving no room for argument, and for the first time since Luz can ever remember, tears are starting to drip down Eda's cheeks. It's been some close calls over the years, but this is the first time she's ever openly shed tears in front of Luz.

Eda wraps her arms around her, chin on her shoulder and Luz squeezed her back just as tightly.

"I love you too, kid." Eda sniffles and Luz smiled, burying her face in Eda's shoulder as tears stung at her own eyes. She's been doing way too much crying lately.

She pulled back and Eda wiped at her eyes just as the front door opened, and they can hear Amity and Lilith talking.

"Hey babe, in here!" Luz called and a second later Amity is standing in the doorway, gold eyes wide.

"You're back!" A bright smile broke out across her face as she hurried to close the distance between them and wrap her arms around her.

Luz laughed, squeezing her fiancée tightly.

"Of course. I told you, I would be." She pulled back enough to kiss Amity's cheek.

"I know, I was just… worried about you, that maybe you missed your home more than you thought you would… that you might not come back..., " she admits sheepishly. Luz can hear the 'to me' in her words.

"I missed mamí, but my home is here, with you, Amity," Luz assured her with a squeeze.

Amity pressed her smile into Luz's neck and squeezed her back.

Once Amity was thoroughly reassured Luz pulled back and grinned at her.

"She can't wait to meet you!"

"Meet me?!" Amity squeaked.

#Moonlit Masquerade #Lumity #Amity Blight #Luz Noceda #Eda Clawthorne #Lillith Clawthorne #gay #fic #Camila Noceda #the owl house #toh

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kylo-hen · 3 years

Text

Super Bloom Part 3

A/N: Sorry for the wait on this one, but she’s up! I’m slowly realizing my star wars encyclopedic phase was a long time ago and knowledge is beginning to seep out of my brain lmao. Hope you enjoy the extreme self indulgence in this because I have no self control

Kylo Ren X Soulmate!Reader (intergalactic soulmate AU)

Summary: Kylo takes you aboard his ship in attempts to acclimate you but how can he show you his life without revealing his demons?

Warnings: Fluff, lots and lots of fluff. Maybe 2 sentences worth of angst if you read into it.

The dinner was in a word, luxurious, a multitude of different foods some native to this planet others from far off planets in galaxies I had never heard of. There was casual conversation flowing between the elders and Kylo about trade agreements and protection orders. Kylo and I sat side by side at the table and I tried to listen and absorb as much information I could from the discussions.

Kylo sat confidently, comfortably, next to me his gaze intimidating and relaxed as the men and women around us worked to appease our every need. Kylo’s lifestyle had no room for wanting, if the thought passes his mind it appeared before he even needs to voice it, I wondered how far the luxury extended from his power to mine.

As the night waned until the moon was high in the atmosphere it’s light breaking through the branches of the grove behind the dining hall, the goblets we drank had run dry, stomachs full from the variety of courses served, and all conversation lulled into peace; Kylo stood. His new position called for the rest of the room to follow in his footsteps, and soon the whole room of dignitaries stood except for me. Kylo extended his hand out to mine, similar to the stance he had in the beginning of the evening. He pulled me gently to my feet, keeping me close to his side as he announced his departure for the night, reaching for his helmet and returning to the state I met him in. The elders surrounding the table bowed their heads in respect for the man at my side and the guards surrounding the room, the ones who had flanked the man the whole day, readied themselves for their new task.

Kylo ushered me along, keeping a close eye on me even as we walked out of the temple in their secure formation then. The streets after dark housed new beauties for the festival. Large gatherings of people performing with sparks of fire, more loud boisterous music, and lanterns strung over the main stretch of road. Many people laughing, dancing, drunk and in love made whoops and hollers when they saw us passing through. No one dared get in the way of the important men and women the temple was honoring, but their intoxicated minds must celebrate us.

Kylo seemed particularly tense on the way back, every interaction with the crowd left his senses tense and overloaded, his instincts not ready for the bold people lining the pavement. The shadow of darkness did not allow him any relief, the nature of the city allowing for many vulnerable places for people to strike.

His tension only melted as we approached the edge of the city, where a large ship laid waiting for its leaders’ occupation. There were men in white armor and blasters stationed outside of the ship, as a walkway descended to the ground, creating an isle up to his world. More guards in white armor descended in two lines and I wondered where they were all coming from, or if they had been waiting all day for this.

As Kylo led me aboard his ship I felt like I was transported into a different dimension altogether. I had never been anywhere but my small planet, I had barely left the city in all my life. The sleek and simple black and white design of this looked state of the art, unlike anything I have ever seen. There are a couple more people to greet us, him, when we boarded.

“Supreme Leader!” one of the men addressed Kylo enthusiastically, “Your earlier message made it seem like you would not be returning tonight,” his tone laced with acidic uncertainty, “We weren’t expecting you so soon.”

Kylo’s gaze hardened in an instant, “My movements do not concern you.” He spoke to the small man who fell back into his rank surrounded by the guards behind him. “Leave us, we’ll have no petty interruptions tonight officer.” With that Kylo made a dramatic turn away from the hoard welcoming us abord, and towards the hallway adjacent to us.

I followed him quickly, not wanting to invade his space if he was upset but also not wanting to fall behind and be lost on his ship. After travelling down a corridor for some time he came to a stop at a barren doorway that opened without hesitation.

His room was barren to say the least, it was gracious in dimension but lackluster in any personality. The sterile minimalism extended to all parts of his ship, I wondered if this ship was his home, somewhere he spent frequently and if it was there had been so sign of him before.

Kylo removed his helmet as soon as the door was secured behind us both, his demeanor shifting to the relaxation under the sun this afternoon. He regarded me with a smile so soft and quick I almost missed it. I had stepped into the threshold of the room but no further, not knowing how to fit into this part of his life yet. All of my comfort that I retained from this evening had slowly melted away, and it left behind the ebb and flow of the anxiety in my stomach. I stood as still as possible, only a dew steps into his room watching as he moved with definitive purpose, exactly the opposite of my floundering worry.

He didn’t address me until he began to remove the intricate bindings of his outfit, starting with the secures on his wrist. He looked up and saw my tense fearful body awaiting his instruction with my eyes darting all places in his room before landing on him. He stopped his pursuit of comfort, changing direction to aide my own. The cogs turned in his head for a moment, true vulnerable uneasiness passed over his features as he tried to acclimate me to his world.

“I had one of my knights bring your things, they should be in the closet,” He started with a practical steady tone, “You are welcome to explore.” He tried with less certainty, his façade falling further with every tactic.

“Can you show me?” I asked, not recognizing my own voice as it came out of my mouth a foreign cadence that lilted like the music in the market after dark. That lilt must have washed over him like a warm breeze because the trepidation before melted away, a smile graced his features as he moved to show me the amenities aboard his quarters.

He spoke softly about the room, which switches controlled which light, stopping at a bare display of buttons that he explained called droids for various services at any time. He showed me the fresher, the small space itself completely foreign to anything I had ever seen. Kylo must have found delight in my ignorance because he refused to tell me how to work the dammed contraption, opting to let me figure it out myself. When I looked up at him in protest his eyes were shining down on mine, full of a joy and passion. There was a third emotion I couldn’t quite put my finger on, it was dark, misty, but not intimidating.

He paused before moving on to show me the rest of the amenities, his hands coming to wrap around me, the first physical contact we’ve had since stepping on the ship. They snaked their way around settling on my back once I was pressed to his front. He tilted his head down, wordlessly asking for a kiss. I obliged tenfold, pushing up to meet his lips with desperation. My hands finding purchase on his cheeks.

This man lit a fire in my bones, not being able to touch him, to hold him in my arms for as long as I had felt like walking in the desert without water. Now, with his lips pressed against mine, his large sturdy hands keeping me secure, his breathe breathing me new life, his soul intertwined with my own, I was drowning. No, I was basking in his passion for me, his need. His touch, even juvenile, had me floating far from the rest of the world.

When Kylo pulls back I feel the lack of his heat immediately. The unpleasant contrast from the pure joy before forced a whine from my mouth before I could stop it. My hands dropping to his chest as he moves away from our tight embrace. He didn’t try to hide his amusement with a deep reverberating chuckle sliding out his lips which curled up into a light hearted smirk. His hands moving from my back to my neck, tilting my head up to meet his intense gaze.

“Don’t get greedy now sweet girl.” He commanded softly, his gloved thumb skimming along my cheek sweetly contrasting his words.

“I hardly think wanting a kiss from my soulmate is greedy.” I countered teasingly, fluttering my eye lashes and pushing my bottom lip out at him. His body visibly reacting to me calling him my soulmate. His cheeks flushed red and he leaned in like he was going to kiss me once again.

His lips ghosted mine slowly, his hands keeping my head locked in place not that I would dare move when he was this close, “Say it again.” He asked, a new layer of vulnerability in play with him.

“You’re my soulmate Kylo.” I whispered against his lips before he gently pressed us together again. Once again there was purpose, there was meaning, light all through my bones because of him. The man that deserved no less than the galaxy, and had it all and more, pressed against me in a fresher because out souls were connected to one another. I was vastly out of my playing field with this man and something about it made me feel like I was going to learn to run before I learned to walk.

I pulled away from him this time, he hesitated, trying to regain his self-control before moving forward. His grip on my face loosening up as my hands explored his torso softly, trying not to cross any of his boundaries. “You’re…” He looked so conflicted, so lost, unable to say every thought in his head. His mind so jumbled that even one sentence was too difficult. I didn’t push him to say anything at all, he just shook his head and retreated to stand before me.

“I need to use the fresher before we sleep.” I mumbled, sorry to be changing the subject before he could express what he was thinking. But the smile on his face made my heart shine, he welcomed the diversion away from whatever plagued his mind before.

“I’ll lay some things out for you in the closet.” He offered, and with a swift kiss to my forehead he left me to my own devices to get clean.

The fresher had an endless stream of hot water, I don’t think I had ever experienced anything close to this luxury. His soap smelled dark and musky like him, laced with spices that I had only smelled at the market before. The stream of water resetting my mind for the night, giving me time to realize that as enthralling as Kylo was, we needed to talk before doing anything too risqué. The steam that fogged the mirrors had cleared my mind from the soft caresses Kylo bestowed on me earlier.

He held his promise, leaving out the set of night clothes I had packed and a towel for me. I took the time to ready myself for bed before I emerged into the bedroom. Kylo sat in the bed that looked much smaller with the large man on top of it. He had a datapad and was looking intensely down at the object. He didn’t hear me come in until the doors automatically skimmed shut behind me.

Kylo’s eyes raked up my form only outfitted in the thin nightgown I’ve worn all of my adult life. He swallowed thickly, discarding the datapad on a shelf next to the bed an welcomed me to sit next to him. I moved slowly, not wanting to do anything that was odd to him or something that maybe only my planet did. It’s becoming clearer that he had a very different lifestyle than I was used to.

Nevertheless, he pulled back the covers and welcomed me in his normal-sized, yet somehow small, bed. The lights overhead dimmed, but did not shut off and he laid down. At first, we laid separately, an awkward tension hung in the air, keeping us repelled from one another not wanting to break the boundaries. I made the first move, scooting closer to the middle of the bed, which was more like his side due to his large stature, hoping he would do the same.

“I’ve never been in a bed this comfortable.” I admitted shyly looking up at him as he propped himself up to look down at me. His hand skimmed my arm softly up and down as we spoke.

“This is nothing compared to my bed in Coruscant,” He began softly his voice lulling me once more into a comfortable serenity, “It’s much larger too, far too large for just myself.” He tested experimentally waiting my reaction.

“Do you share your bed often supreme leader?” I asked half-teasing, half-terrified of the possible answer. He was handsome, there was absolutely nothing stopping him from taking a thousand different women before me. He could have a wife back home, he could have a concubine, I had never considered the possibility before now. My veins turned to ice while I watched him answer.

“No,” he ended my spiral with definitive assurance. “There has not been much time for romance admittedly.” His confession is whispered shamefully into the air of the bed between us.

“Fate has a funny way of changing your plans.” I looked up at him only to find he was already watching me, his eyebrows furrowed but his expression was curious. He was trying to find something in my features but he was not coming up with an answer. “Do you believe in fate?” I asked, startling him out of his concentration.

“I believe in the force.” He countered, swerving around my question. I cared little about that, realizing what he said. The ancient force myths were rarely spoken of on my planet, and even more rare was it not used as a cautionary tale. The limited knowledge available at the library was biased, and my father kept many of the ‘radical’ copies out of my hands.

I shot up in the bed, no longer able to stay peacefully laying with him, onto my knees to continue the conversation. “You believe in the force too!” I all but shrieked out excitedly, thrilled about the new avenues of conversation we could research and debate together. “My father always told me they were just old myths! He never let me put any real stock into the stories, but I knew it! If the Supreme Leader of the Galaxy believes it, it must be true!” I rambled out quite loud and quite fast and once I had come to take a breath and look at Kylo he was laughing.

“Sweet girl,” He chuckled out, adjusting his position to a more active one on the bed, and lifting my chin to meet his gaze, “I don’t want to shock you, but I thought it was common knowledge.” He began.

“What? The force? It’s hardly common here, no one had time for my fanciful tales anymore.” I rebutted, slightly irritated at the thought of so many people dismissing me and I was right the whole time. The only reason they dismissed me is because I was just a little girl to them. I then realized that I was probably just some ignorant little girl in Kylo’s eyes too. He was the supreme leader of the galaxy and my home planet didn’t even think the force was real. How was I supposed to be Kylo’s equal when I don’t know anything about life outside my own planet?

“Sweet girl,” He cooed out, bringing my attention back onto him, “You were up in the clouds for a moment,” he shifted forward bringing me closer to him, “I thought you knew, the force is very real, and I am trained to yield it with the Sith lords among me.” He spoke soft in volume but hard in resolution creating an odd tone. Yet the only thing I could think of was that my soulmate, the absolute reflection and completion of myself was a Sith Lord. All the years of reading the myths, of understanding bits and pieces of these Jedi and Sith masters battling to the end of time over freedom and peace and justice now I had one right in front of me. I wondered if he could hear any of my thoughts. That brought me abruptly from my shocked state.

“Can you really read my mind?” I blurted out before I could stop myself. His worried, and dare I say conflicted position, dropped with the mindless question and he huffed before explaining.

“I can choose to know whatever I want about you sweet girl.” He spoke mysteriously. My excitement barely quelled by his non answer which forced me back to sitting, hoping he would elaborate. “I can enter your mind without your permission, but its painful. However, when you’re preoccupied with feelings, you project messages through the force, and I can hear those.” He explained slowly, allowing me to absorb the information he fed me by hand.

“What kind of things have I projected?” I asked plainly.

“In the library, when you saw me for the first time, I could hear your thoughts.” He spoke slowly with every word a new possibility for my brain to process. “Your thoughts are so pure, so strong my sweet girl.” He finished with a compliment, urging me towards him. I took the opportunity to lay my head on my chest, he countered by tracing my left hand with his right.

“I don’t know much,” I felt the need to explain myself, “All of my knowledge comes from the books in the library, and most of is too old, or incredibly one sided.” I scoffed at the stances taken in most of the stories about the history of the Force. “You know, you’ve seen much more than I have, more than I ever thought possible.” I mumbled into the chisels of his chest.

“I’m glad you’ve not seen what I have seen.” His voice holding secrets from demons he had yet to exorcise from his head. “I can’t promise that I tell you everything now, nor can I promise that you’ll like what I have been in my past. I can’t-“ His voice was shaking, his eyes glossed over with the look of a thousand defeats passing through.

“Will you love me?” I interrupted him, shaking him from the dark road he was heading down, “Will you love me? And be loyal to me? And be patient while I try to learn?” I countered with the love that I knew was imprinted in my soul and matching on his, I don’t need riches, or adventures, or galaxies bowing down at our feet. The universe gave me this man for a reason, and I wasn’t going to give up because of his past. “Will you try?”

The last one seemed to get his attention, his striking gaze hazed with unshed tears matching my gaze of unwavering support, “Yes.” He answered simply. Agreeing to not be a different man, but to be himself and try something new.

“That’s all I need from you.” I reassured him, laying back down on his chest, listening to his heart beat calm slowly from the anxious beats before. His breathing slowed immensely, leading me to believe he could be asleep, but the lights weren’t quite off, nor were his hands quite still.

Just as I was drifting off to sleep, in the odd stage of awake and away his voice rumbled through his chest, had I not been using him as a pillow I’m certain I would have missed it. “Marry me?” it was soft, a timid ask from the man that lay beneath me.

“Kylo?” I called out, mostly looking for clarification. It wasn’t odd that he wanted to get married to me, not at all. Most couples, after finding their soulmate, got married quickly, not wanting to part from one another. My sister married her soulmate within a week of meeting him, my parents within the month. It wasn’t odd for me, but from what I knew that was hardly the case outside of my world. I didn’t want him to ask for my sake, I wanted him to ask because he wants to marry me.

“I promise I will try; I will be patient and teach you what you want to know, I will be loyal to you, I-“ he broke off, his voice faltering, but regaining it’s strength, “I will love you.” He stated, confident in his own feelings for the first time. His fingers stilled on my back, waiting for my response.

“I will love you too Kylo.” I spoke softly, gripping my hand on his arm, bracing myself to look at him. He looked terrified, vulnerable, but he saw me and he looked happy. “I will marry you.” And despite the long days ahead, and the seemingly endless amount of things I had left to learn about the world that lay before us at our feet, all I could think about is how quickly the man had taken every part of my heart and soul by storm.

I am completely and irrevocably his and he is completely and irrevocably mine.

#kylo ren x reader #kylo ren #kylo ren fluff #super bloom part 3 #super bloom #kylo ren x soulmate reader #soulmate au #I am thinking #i am pondering #i am trying

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dimonds456 · 3 years

Text

20 First Lines

Tagged by @novantinuum, and this looks like fun! I’ll give it a go!

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories. See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 authors!

The order here will go from most recent to oldest.

1. Beautiful Morning

Steven awoke to blinding sunlight shining in his eyes. He squinted, bringing a hand up to block the rays as he tried to assess his surroundings.

2. Another Universe Down Below (SU x UT)

He had just turned 15 a few months ago.

3. Half a Puppet

Steven could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he watched Connie fight. She had jumped into White’s head like the angel she was, immediately running in to assist in talking to White.

4. A New Start

Cold. Bright. Fast.

That was the world which sometimes presented itself, whenever Steven chose to open his eyes.

5. Door, Lock, and Key

It was late at night. They had warped back late, as the sun was already gone below the horizon, but now, it had been hours later. The beautiful moonlight shone through Steven’s bedroom windows, painting his warm-colored room in cooler tones.

6. How to Train Your Monster (SU x HTTYD)

Connie was 11 years old when she moved to Beach City, or well, nearby to Beach City. She had been the quiet, shy, awkward kid who loved pretending to be a part of fairy tales, rescuing the royal from peril and battling monsters on the way there. She imagined that she knew how to swing the fine tip of a sword, or launch an arrow with such a precision, she’d be known throughout the world.

7. The SU Cast Plays Among Us (I KEEP FORGETTING ABOUT THIS ONE XD)

Dead Body Reported

CONNIE: Well that was fast.

PEARL: What’s happened? Who died?

PERIDOT: …urnext.

SPINEL (yelling over her in shock): AMETHYST?!

AMETHYST (from beyond the grave): Barely even thirty seconds in! >:(

((Okay but low key I still love that one because of how bonkers it is. And not even I knew where it was going. It was GREAT.))

8. Stolen

Here I am in the future.

Here I am in the future, and it’s bright.

Nothing to fear, no one to fight.

I see

The light

As dark takes flight

Happily ever after, after all.

9. Red Isn’t Violence; Pink Is

Anger had a way of bringing out the extremes in someone. Anger fueled determination, and competitiveness, and oftentimes could be the key to strengthening relationships with people. It was funny like that, as everyone always seemed to think of anger as a negative emotion. But, was it really?

10. Broken

It was quiet. The silence was comforting, but not what he was looking for. Not yet.

11. Bubbled (SU Time Travel AU)

It had been a long, slow trip, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief as the last of the Ruby guards boarded their Roaming Eye. Amethyst, exhausted, released her shapeshifted form of Jasper, wiping the sweat from her brow. She and Steven both started laughing in relief.

12. A Second Chance

SPINEL: Any second now, she'll be back. She's just getting everything ready... a new garden, maybe! I just need to be patient, that's all.

13. The Choice (Demons Inside AT) ((BATIM AU))

Darkness could only be dark with light.

Emptiness could only be empty while there existed something else.

There would be no warmth without cold, nor good without evil. That was something the demon had known his whole life, but had never really understood until now.

14. Awaken - Mystery Skulls (fan fic / interpretation)

He rose up, looking around. The world around him was dark and dreary, no lights in sight. His back was against the wall, and his body felt heavy. He blinked. He was looking at what looked like a cliff face, but it was growing from the wall by his feet.

15. Demons Inside: The Rewritten Fanfic (PART 1)

It was late at night. The clock on the wall tick, tick, ticked away, the time reading right around 2:15 A.M. It was quiet, an eerie noise that didn’t fit the studio very well. Well, all minus the ticking clock.

16. Edgar's Nightmare

It was dark. There was very little light, and the majority of it came from these little lamps hanging down from the ceiling. The other half of the light came from one part of this large cavern, over by the only exit- by a little workshop. Right now, though, that light was turned off.

The witch was away.

17. Bendy's Nightmare

It is a beautiful day. Light shines down upon rolling, soft grey hills. There are a few fluffy clouds in the sky, but that cannot spoil the mood.

18. Angelic Arrest- A Sillyvision Cartoon [script]

Alice Angel is hiding behind a cloud as she watches a fellow angel approach. This other angel trips over a thin wire, sending him face-first through the clouds. Alice laughs, but then stops when the other angel flies back up, frowning.

ANGEL: Alice Angel. I should have known it was you.

19. King Dice in: A Christmas Carol (Chapter 1)

It was a crisp winter day. The snow blew across Inkwell Isle, freezing the land in its cold grip. Everyone was outside, however, chatting amongst each other, singing carols, and welcoming distant family onto the island.

20. Demons Inside- BATIM Fanfiction (but the first ver of it)

It was late at night. The lights in the studio had all been turned off, Joey had gone home, and Boris and Alice were sleeping soundly in the little room downstairs Joey had made for them. A single light flickered, quiet and dim, the light reflecting off a small Ink Creature sitting all alone.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The first thing that stuck out to me was that I tend to start with a fact. Someone was this age, the weather was this. Often, I specifically stated the time of day. It's night so often, go to sleep, all of you.

Next, I talked about the setting. The characters get introduced later. I need to establish where we are and what's happening naturally before the characters go messing with anything.

The second most common thing I did was say something philosophical. I did this when I was about to start toying with an idea, like anger being represented by the color pink instead of red.

T;dr, I need to get more creative with my openings lol

My favorite opening line was probably "The Choice" actually. I don't really know why, I just like the way it flows.

I don't know 10 other fic artists on Tumblr, so I'm gonna say that if you write fic and wanna try this, go for it. Consider youself tagged by me. :)

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spkmth · 3 years

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SOME BANAL KBNZ HEADCANONS.

HOW THEY MET, BECAME FRIENDS, AND FELL IN LOVE.

• they met as children, during a battle in the wild area ; piers saved raihan from some camp interlopers one evening, and raihan’s enthusiastic gratitude, while grating, meant that he immediately endeared himself to piers. they never had the chance to become rivals, as piers’ journey got cut short when he had to become marnie’s full-time caregiver ; but he never fell out of touch with raihan, and they texted one another at least once a week. when raihan left for the isle of armor, and then for university in kalos right after, their messages passed less and less frequently ... and when raihan returned nearly a year later, a fully-fledged dynamax master and certified dragonkeeper, piers could scarcely recognize him.

• the attraction was immediate, but it took a long while for love to grow. as a man both in the closet and in the spotlight, raihan couldn’t deny his physical and mental attraction to piers, but had to stuff his feelings to save face in front of his family and his adoring fans ( and initially out of fear that piers wouldn’t feel the same ). for his part, piers made his intent apparent, but not too apparent to jeopardize their long-time friendship ; he’d had hundreds of one-night stands, infamously never going back for encores, but by the time he’d cajoled raihan into bed with him, he realized that he was going to have to break his one-and-done rule. they hooked up pretty regularly after that, always in secret, always in spikemuth for raihan’s peace of mind.

• raihan admitted to having feelings first. piers initially thought it was a joke or a slip of the tongue ; he’d seen the way raihan looked at leon ( spoiler: it was the same way he looked at raihan ) and figured that their hook-ups were just for fun. but leon is untouchable, and piers is warm and comforting and sweet beneath the tight leather and spikes and neon colors —— raihan reassures him that he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, not for all the pokégram clout in the world, and that’s when piers realizes that holy shit this is real.

• yes, they are in love. no, it isn’t a ruse, a front, or some scheme to make leon jealous. no, they aren’t just fucking because they’re two hot guys and people on the internet like that.

RELATIONSHIP QUIRKS.

• yes, raihan gets on piers’ nerves sometimes, with his constant selfies and his exuberant, loud personality. piers gets on raihan’s, too ; his non-stop partying and continuous self-deprecation get under raihan’s skin. but they love each other anyway —— no love is perfect, and they acknowledge that they aren’t perfect people, and they don’t expect to break the mold in this regard.

• yes, raihan is attracted to leon. piers is attracted to leon too. they have a standing agreement that if it ever came up, leon is the only person they are allowed to have a threesome with, or sleep with one-on-one. but raihan likes leon on a personal level, too, whereas piers only sees him as happy-go-lucky champion time guy. indeed, piers resents leon to some degree, due to raihan’s fixation on him ; its fine if raihan wants his body, but only piers gets raihan’s heart. piers is also genuinely suspicious of leon : the guy’s too happy ... what has rose done to him? ( i hate when people make them a happy ot3 when piers has never been in the same room as the guy. do i think they have potential? of course. the internet exists solely for things like that. but GIVE ME CONFLICT DAMN IT. )

• they never lie to one another. the foundation of their relationship is honesty. raihan is expected to hold himself to a certain set of standards in his city and around his family, and even on his pokégram ; the only time he can let loose and be wild is on the pitch ... and with piers. and of course, for piers, punk is about shunning social norms and truly being oneself, and piers is the dictionary definition of a punk. he’s genuinely never lied to raihan, not as a child and not as a grown ass man ; in fact, sometimes his bluntness gets him into more trouble than a lie would. but as a couple, their honesty has always saved them and kept them together.

• raihan has yet to introduce piers to his parents, even as a friend. they’ve seen piers on tv and have made it clear that they dislike his lifestyle. it’s a good thing they don’t use pokégram, or else they’d see piers’ face plastered all over raihan’s feed. none of this bothers piers : he won’t be introducing raihan to his parents anytime soon, either, because wyndon prison has strict visitation rules and piers couldn’t care less. in fact, the only familial validation he needs is marnie’s, and she’s given it in spades. marnie adores raihan, and couldn’t imagine a better partner for her dumpster fire of a brother.

• piers loathes the idea of marriage. its a societal construct used to declare that a relationship is Supreme and those people are off the table, when basic human dignity and respect should be enough for that. unfortunately for him, raihan is a sucker for marriage, and has his mind set on it. someday, raihan.

• raihan doesn’t like piers’ drug use, and does his best to curb it, but won’t ask him to stop altogether. piers is happy living a short and explosive life, and raihan wouldn’t change that ; he simply keeps an eye out for him and is constantly brushing up on his cpr skills, just in case.

• raihan is incredibly educated, and some would argue that he is far smarter than piers ; as a man with full tertiary education, as well as a certification in the most dangerous pokémon type and mastery of the dynamax phenomenon, he could talk circles around piers if he wanted to. but raihan knows that having an education doesn’t make one smart ; piers is street savvy, much more so than raihan could hope to be, and he knows his way around a dollar better than any professor raihan ever learned from. and marnie is a perfectly well-educated and wonderfully socialized young lady, mostly due to her brother’s efforts ... so anyone who makes insinuations about piers’ intelligence around raihan will always end up with a fist in their face. for his part, though, piers enjoys listening to raihan prattle on about the function of a dragon’s scales, or something else he learned in school ; its something he’d wished he’d been able to do, something that he hopes he gets a shot at in his next life.

• despite being a bleeding heart who loves to spout shakespeare, raihan struggles with physical intimacy, sexually or otherwise. piers is a surprisingly discerning and compassionate lover, able to tell what his partner wants at a glance, and completely capable of fulfilling those needs without having to be asked ; its something that raihan envies. he’s great at displays of affection, and boy howdy can he explain it with words, but he doubts he’ll ever be as intuitively gifted as piers.

• piers has never written a song about raihan. when asked why, he’ll say that he simply can’t put the depth and scope of his feelings into words. he wants to, but every time he puts the pen to paper, it tries to spit everything out at once, leaving incomprehensible scribbles behind. he doesn’t have words for the ache in his chest, the shaking of his fingers, the simultaneous thrill and fear of being vulnerable with someone who truly cares about him ... so he writes songs about fucking the system instead.

WHO IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER AT...

• CARING FOR THE OTHER. they spend equal amounts of time caring for one another ; they’re both natural caregivers who love tending to others. raihan is much more ready to admit when he needs to be taken care of than piers is, as piers is used to doing everything on his own and struggles to ask for help ; but raihan is tuned into piers’ nonverbal cues well enough that he silently steps up right when piers silently gives in. piers, for his part, is happy to surrender to raihan as well ; raihan has proven time and time again that he would never intentionally hurt him ... at least, not without a safe word. ( the concept that piers is a uwu uke who needs to be taken care of bothers me because of his apparent willingness to relinquish control, something that canon piers has some pretty clear issues with doing. he strikes me as a man who needs to be needed, and who enjoys being a caretaker even if he’ll never admit it. the vulnerability of letting raihan take care of him, when piers has cared for others his whole life, is what attracts me to this pairing, not a hot goth boy getting railed in the ass. it isn’t that he NEEDS to be taken care of; its that he WANTS to be taken care of, by raihan. that’s good shit. and also piers isn’t a goth. )

• COOKING. raihan is the better cook, but piers makes a better cup of tea. raihan is the whip-shit at making curry ; its probably the one thing he’s beaten leon at. for his part, piers’ cups of tea are as legendary as his singing, and he has his friends’ and family’s preferences memorized.

• SINGING / MUSIC. piers, purely for his understanding of musical constructs and ability to read music. raihan can’t read music to save his soul, but he is great at learning by ear, and has a wonderful grasp of pitch and tone. piers has a wider range, but raihan has a purer voice ; years of chainsmoking has added a distinctive rasp to piers’ voice, but that’s one of the things that makes him famous. the first time the public got any inkling of their closeness was a spontaneous duet at a karaoke bar ( and surprisingly, they were sober ).

• FUCKING. piers, no contest. he’s talented and infamous for his exploits, and if he hasn’t tried it, he wants to. raihan certainly isn’t wet behind the ears, but sex isn’t his priority ; he likes connecting with people on an individual level, and then a physical level if they’re compatible. piers has the higher libido of the two, and this sometimes bothers raihan, partly because he wishes he had a greater sex drive and partly because he wishes piers would stop and smell the roselia with him instead of constantly trying to get him out of his clothes.

WHO DOES WHAT MORE?

• SMOKING / DRINKING. piers smokes way more than raihan, and raihan prefers hookah to cigarettes. they’re both drinkers, but skinny little piers can drink the dragon under the table. however, raihan is aces at concealing his level of drunkenness until he’s beyond the point of no return ; piers is shit at hiding it. drunk piers is baseline horny, sometimes happy, sometimes angry ; raihan is the happy / sleepy kind of drunk. raihan is picky and prefers mixed drinks, and piers will drink anything that isn’t cheap beer. raihan greatly prefers drinking at home, as he’d seen piers get roofied at a pub once and it traumatized him.

• STAYING UP LATE. piers is the king of the night-noctowls. raihan is lucky to make it to midnight.

• CHECKING THEIR PHONE. raihan. always raihan. piers’ poor rotom-phone has abandonment issues from how little it’s used.

• TOPPING / BOTTOMING. piers is 90% power bottom and 10% service top. he loves getting fucked and telling his lover how he wants it, but he’s also great at pleasing his partner no matter what they want from him, and loves taking care of his partner and making them scream. raihan is 70% service top, 15% power top, and 15% genuine sub. as nice as it is to flex his muscles and use his ungodly height to his advantage, sometimes its nice to just be taken care of. fortunately for raihan, piers is great at understanding nonverbal cues, and can easily tell what mindset raihan is in without having to ask.

#▌ 𝅘𝅥𝅮 ( 𝘙𝘌𝘉𝘌𝘓 𝘞𝘐𝘛𝘏 𝘈 𝘊𝘈𝘜𝘚𝘌. ) —— HEADCANONS.#▌ ♫ ( 𝘞𝘐𝘛𝘏𝘖𝘜𝘛 𝘈 𝘚𝘐𝘕𝘎𝘓𝘌 𝘚𝘛𝘙𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘈𝘛𝘛𝘈𝘊𝘏𝘌𝘋. ) —— KBNZ.#yes i did just spend three hours writing this.#i have a lot of feelings about kbnz man

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dandelionflower · 4 years

Text

Felinette Month Day 27

Nature

Nature wasn’t all that great.

At least, that was what Marinette tried to tell herself whenever she was rushed away from the forest bordering most of the village.

She loved her village, and all of its traditional customs, she did.

At least, that was what she said after she had to sit through another betrothal ceremony, even her own.

Especially Felix’s.

She had been in love with Felix for three years, and he in love with her for all three and then another two.

The betrothal made the danger of their relationship, the severity of the punishment, all the more real.

People caught in a relationship outside of betrothal weren’t punished, only forced into betrothal earlier than fourteen or fifteen.

It wasn’t that she didn’t like her betrothed, Nino was a great guy, but not her type.

Felix just blatantly hated Lila, though. She lied and flirted with any warm body she could get her hands on and both Felix and Marinette loathed her.

So they loved in secret, with stolen kisses in the dark, as close to the forest as they could muster, a deep seeded superstition keeping them from venturing deeper.

They’d been told since childhood that the forest was the source of dark magic; the craft of the fae.

While some things from their childhood didn’t stick, others remained, and that was the legend of Adrien and Kagami, two lovers who escaped their betrothals.

Kagami was an ice cold warrior and Adrien was a sheltered son of a baron.

It was impossible for them to be together, Adrien was promised to the Mayor’s daughter and Kagami was to be sent to the army as soon as she reached adulthood.

So, in the dead of night, they escaped to the forest, despite the myths of black magic, and were never heard from again.

Felix would mutter about how idiotic the myth was.

“They ran into the forest? Instead of vacating to another town? What sort of fools were they?”

“Lovesick ones.”

And he could grumble and snort, but Marinette could tell that there was till some lingering fear by the way he would walk closer to the trees when they strolled, keeping her farther away.

Neither of them acknowledged the looming marriages facing them both when they were together; there was never enough time to talk about it.

But then, the unimaginable happened.

Marinette was woken up by her parents standing anxiously over her bed.

“Marinette, you’re getting married next week.”

“What?!” It was impossible, she had a year or two left, at least.

They shared an uneasy glance.

“Nino’s family has suspicions that he’s in love with the town reporter. They don’t want us to ship him off, so we’ve agreed for an early wedding.”

She felt a single tear trail it’s way down her face.

“Aw, it’s alright dear. I’m sure that once you’re married, Nino will be a devoted husband.” Tom smiled and patted her shoulder.

“Tom, why don’t you go and open the bakery? Marinette and I need to have some ‘girl talk.’”

As soon as he had lumbered out, Sabine locker the door, closed all of the curtains and pulled Marinette down to crouch with her beside the bed.

“You’re not going to work all week, if anyone asks, tell them you’re preparing for the big day.”

“Maman, what are you talking about?” She spoke, but her mothers hands were quickly pushed against her mouth.

“After you’re married, you’ll be safe.” She smiled softly, brushing Marinette’s bangs from her face. “Go to him.”

“What? Wh-who are you talking about?” Marinette felt her face heat up.

“You can’t hide things like that from your mother, dear.” Sabine cupped her daughter’s face with her hands. “Find him, and spend as much time as you can before next week. I’m sorry things couldn’t be different.” She stood and walked out, stopping as she unlocked the door.

“I was lucky; I was already in love with your father when I married him. I know your situation is not mine, though.”

And she was gone, leaving Marinette to ponder her situation alone.

—

Marinette met Felix behind her house, close to the forest, as usual.

She pulled him to her desperately, kissing him long and sweet.

Once they parted, she dropped the news. “I’m getting married.”

A steely look crossed his eyes. He grabbed her hands and squeezed them tight, like they were the only thing anchoring him to this life. “Not if I have anything to say about it.”

“What?”

“I’ll talk to the government, convince them to let us stay together.”

“Felix, you can’t. There’s no getting out of betrothal; they’ll exile us.”

“Then we’ll run away, leave and never come back.”

“What? Like Adrien and Kagami?” She joked, trying to lessen the mood.

“I can’t lose you, Netta.” Suddenly the desperation in his eyes became crystal clear.

“Okay.” She spoke without thinking.

“Okay?”

“Okay. I’ll do it, I’ll run away with you.”

Felix collapsed to his knees, bringing Marinette down with him. “Thank you.” He whispered as he drew her closer still. “Thank you.”

She pulled back, grabbing Felix shoulders to face him.

“If we’re going to do this we’ll need a plan people are going to be watching me really close.”

He nodded, a thoughtful look passing over his face.

“The best time will be when no one expects it; just before the wedding.”

The rest of the night they plotted, making lists of essentials and what they’d need to prepare beforehand.

In the day, Marinette would stay in her room, sewing her wedding dress, which, in reality, would be perfect for surviving anything nature threw at them.

At night, she would smuggle things out to Felix, who would hide them in holes by the woods.

The morning before her wedding, they would slip away, and take to the road, to find a new life together, in a new town.

If only it were that easy.

——

The morning of her wedding, Marinette was never left alone; there was always someone besides her, chattering about how happy they were or how beautiful the dress was.

They were all right, of course.

The dress was her favorite shade of pink, with embroidered flowers trailing their way up the left side of the skirt. Abandoning tradition, the dress was not floor length; the loose skirt stopped just above her ankles.

It was perfect for surviving a long journey, if only she could be alone so she could escape.

Finally, fed up with the dozens of bridesmaids keeping her from Felix, she shouted that she needed be alone for a moment.

They each gave her a knowing smile and hurried out the door, murmuring about butterflies in her stomach and “hope she doesn’t get cold feet.”

Marinette was finally alone.

She pulled out the braided rope Felix had brought days earlier and tied it to her bedpost.

Opening her back window, Marinette scanned the room once more, before hiking up her skirts and grabbing the rope to climb down.

“Marinetta! I’ve got your favorite croissants for a snack before you go down the isle!” Tom barged in, holding two trays in his hands.

Marinette froze as she stared at her father, who was staring right back.

He didn’t say a word, he only nodded closed the door, and rifled through her closet, pulling out a brown drawstring bag.

He placed every croissant into the bag, adding the loaf of bread and the knife he was holding on the other tray.

He hugged her tight, knocking all the breath out of her before pulling back and handing her the bag with tears in his eyes.

“I always knew I would cry when I saw you in your wedding dress.” He remarked. “I just never thought about that it would be the last time I saw you.”

“Papa...”

“Make sure he takes care of you.” He cupped her face in his enormous hands, making Marinette feel like a little girl again. “I’m proud of you dear; I’ll try to stall for as long as I can.”

He grabbed the rope and held it tight, signaling Marinette to climb to down.

Felix was there when she landed, leading her to the hole where they buried the bow and arrows they had made.

He kissed her temple before beginning to walk to the next hole, stopping abruptly.

Marinette followed his gaze and saw Lila, smirking and waving a horn in the air.

A horn like that could signal the whole village. Marinette realized.

She reacted instantly, grabbing Felix’s hand and running into the shade of the trees, the horn sounding behind her only pushing her to run faster.

“Marinette!” Felix yelled. “What are you doing?”

“I’m not losing you. We’ll just have to make due.”

“Marinette.” Felix dug his feet into the dirt, pulling Marinette to a stop.

“We can’t possibly survive here. We have a few croissants a bow and ten arrows.”

“I don’t care, I can’t just live knowing I left you for a stupid rule and I certainly can’t live being separated from you, which is definitely what’s doing to happen if we go back.”

“Marinette-“ Felix’s lecture halted, as he stared at something in the distance.

A trail of roses and sunflowers, Adrien and Kagami’s favorite flowers, according to legend.

Marinette glanced at Felix, tugging on his hand, pleading with him silently.

He nodded and they set off, following the path of flowers.

———

The sun had almost set and the trail didn’t seem to be ceasing.

Marinette shivered, wishing she had added a coat to her dress.

Felix noticed, and draped his jacket over her shoulders, all the while ignoring her glance.

“I don’t want you to catch pneumonia, of course.”

“Felix, you’ll freeze.”

“Maybe I will.” He shrugged.

A sudden feeling of remorse cane over her, as she realized how much Felix had given up to be with her.“I’m sorry.”

He stopped. “Netta, for what could you possibly be sorry for?”

“For dragging you into this mess, loving me can’t possibly be worth dying in the cold.”

“Netta, you listen to me,” the anger in his voice startled her, “even if I die in this forest today, I will never could never regret having met you.”

“Felix...” Marinette stopped as Felix kissed her. “I love you.”

“I love you too, angel. I could never stop.”

They were about to lean towards each other again, but a brilliant white light flashed in front of them, drawing Marinette’s attention.

“Felix.” She gasped.

A crystal fountain stood in front of them, with a couple sitting at its rim.

“Hello.” The girl in ruby tones spoke, giving them both a small smile. “I’m Kagami.”

“And I’m Adrien!” A golden boy waved. “Sit with us?”

Marinette gave Felix a cautious look before shrugging and sitting next to Kagami.

Felix soon walked over as well, placing a hand on hers.

The other couple gave each other knowing smiles.

“So, I take it they’re still betrothing people?” Adrien asked.

They nodded, still unsure of what was going on.

“Is that why you came here?” Kagami probed. “To escape betrothal?”

“Yes.”

“What were you looking for, coming here?”

Marinette didn’t have an answer to that.

She glanced at Felix. “I guess I just couldn’t imagine a world where I wasn’t with him, I don’t think I would be able to survive.”

“I didn’t either.” Adrien stared at Kagami.

“We can help you.” Kagami stared. “We can lead you to a new town, where you can live together and start a new life.”

“Or?” Felix asked.

“Or, you can drink from the fountain, become one with nature like us, help us save our old town from self destruction.”

They glanced at each other, a silent debate passing through their eyes.

“We’ll drink from the fountain.”

Adrien beamed. “I thought so.” He gestured to the fountain. “Fair warning, it’s kinda weird after your first drink.”

Marinette cupped her hands, scooping the sparkling water into her mouth, Felix leaning beside her to do the same.

As soon as she swallowed, something changed.

She could feel the forest, every tree, every rose and sunflower.

Marinette turned to Felix, to share this new feeling with him, when she gasped.

Felix’s eyes were a vibrant ice blue, in contrast to the usual silver they had been in the village.

Jasmine was growing at his feet, surrounding him and weaving with the pink amaryllises coming from the ground underneath her.

They stared at each other for a moment, before Felix cleared his throat and knelt before her.

“Marinette we have been through a lot these three years, we’ve needed to do so much to stay together, and now that I know for certain that I will be with you for all eternity,” he picked up one of the jasmine blooms, twisting the stem into a circle, “I ask you, though I am only fifteen, will you marry me and allow me to be your husband?”

“Yes! Yes!” She jumped to him, causing them both to crash to the ground. She couldn’t bring herself to care as he slipped the makeshift ring onto her finger, her kissing all over his face.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife.” Adrien clapped and cooed over the couple.

Years down the road, another couple would escape into the forest, seeking refuge in nature.

There they would meet a warrior of roses with her prince of sunflowers, and a amaryllis angel with her jasmine defender, and there they could learn that the village was wrong.

About love, about law, about nature.

#felinette month 2019 #felinettemonth #felinette #felix culpa #marinette dupain cheng #ml felix #felix agreste #mlb #felinettemonth2019 #felinette month #ml marinette #miraculous ladybug #adrien agreste #kagami tsuguri #ml kagami #ml adrien #adrigami

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thetakenpokemon-rp · 3 years

Text

[Continued from here] | @askiceboundlopunny

When she mentioned that there is an empty field nearby, I bite my lips - said action nearly drawing blood due to my sharp fangs.

She does have a point, we can have a lil’ teensy spar with no one getting caught up in it...

Nope! C’mon Miyako, you’ve been over this before! You know how things will turn out, the last thing you need is to get in trouble. If you cause any issues at all, there’s a really big chance that they’ll just send you back!

I’ve been wanting to leave my home for a long time, this is the first time I’m even talking to someone who lives outside! Is it really worth the risk?

Realizing the possible consequences, I manage to barely push the temptation to the back of my mind again. I take a shuddering breath and force myself to put on a straight face.

When I start listening to the giant Mienshao talk again, I hear her speak about fighting my other sisters. Now that causes me to pause, the sheer concept of the thought being absurd to me.

Now I can understand the prospect of wanting to fight a Legendary, but to fight MULTIPLE Legendaries - Bearers or not?

At that point I don’t think the word ‘ambitious’ would even be enough to describe that sort of idealism. Not to mention this girl is talking about it as if it’s actually going to happen, seeing her wording and tone of voice.

The best part? It’s for sake of creating a legacy to pass down to her eventual descendants.

She’s not fighting for power or dominance, but for glory.

I start laughing, giving her a playful punch in the thigh - softly of course, gotta keep my strength in check after all. “Girl? Where have you been all this time?!” I give her a full fanged grin, unable to contain the sheer mirth and joy that I’m feeling. “I honestly think that it’s incredibly cruel that you weren’t one of the people who inherited a Legendary’s power, since I have a feeling that you and I would have an absolute blast together if you were a Sister! I can only imagine the shenanigans!”

I start rubbing my chin, my smile turning to a mischievous grin. “You speak of the prospect of fighting the others? That’s a thought, now that I think about it~ There’s definitely several who wouldn’t be keen on sparring, but I know that there’s a couple who’d accept if asked~”

I hum in thought as a few names come to mind. “Renaetta? She’d love the prospect of taking someone on. She’s definitely someone who I often spar with, so it’d be very interesting to see her take on someone else.” My eyes glint with excitement. “If you manage to get Kazashi to warm up to you? She’d definitely be down for a fight, although I have a feeling that she might give you some difficulty due to her nature.” My expression becomes sheepish. “...or at least I assume so, since I have a rough time whenever I spar with her.”

The more I think about it, the more excited I become. “Ulyssia? I’d love to see someone else take her on, especially with how much she amplifies herself with that ‘victory’ power of hers.” I let out an irritated snort. “Definitely kinda unfair in my opinion, since that boost of power really catches you off-guard when you think you have the upper-hand.”

“Tanayah though?” My smile returns. “She’s insanely fast, so I’m not too sure on how well you’d handle her.” I let out another laugh. “Corrina? I’m gonna straight up assume that she’s a no-go because of that Dragon blood in you. I can’t fight her at all since she’s the ‘Ultimate Dragon Slayer’ due to the Legendary that she’s a Bearer of. So if you were to go up against her? I’d say that you wont’ stand a chance.”

Man... Just thinking about all of this is making me seriously want to reconsider my stance on not fighting. There’s a lot of potentials on how a fight can turn out when it comes to my other sisters. For Linda herself? All I’m doing really is just guesstimating due to the amount of power I sense in her, so I have no idea on what she’s actually capable of.

Which is why I REALLY want to take her on, since I want to see what exactly she can do!

Like, it would be a relatively fair fight too since the power of us Bearers is weaker when we leave the Isle. Well, more like leave the vicinity of the temple that Xiomara takes care of - which is still technically the same thing.

It shouldn’t be an issue, right? It IS consensual, both of us want to have a wee scuffle to test each other’s prowess...

...And of course, the moment I start questioning myself, the Mienshao brings up the empty field again.

The more I listen to her, the more I feel my objections slip away.

Yeah...

No one will get hurt except us.

We can let loose and really test our strength against one another. She definitely wants it, I definitely want it. What problem is there?

Not to mention we can come riiiight back once we’re done...

...

At this point I realize that my body is crackling with electricity. The energy radiating from me charges the surrounding air, giving off the faint smell of ozone.

Yeah... Right back...

With a claw I reach and grab Linda’s wrist. Not even bothering to withhold my strength I pull her down so that her face is next to mine, allowing our gazes to match without the need for me to look up.

“Well, what are we waiting for~?” I purr at her.

When discerning the emotions that’s in my eyes, the first one that would come to someone’s mind would be...lust.

They wouldn’t be wrong either. In fact? They’d be spot on. I am feeling lustful right now. Lust for battle. Lust for the chance of a good fight.

I don’t care if I’ll get in trouble or not. I am NOT going to miss this opportunity, and I am going to savor it~

I release the Mienshao’s wrist, giving her a playful wink. “Remember Linda, you initiated. So don’t leave me hanging, alright~?” I singsong before turning around and walking towards the direction of the field, the anticipation making me the most excited that I have ever felt in a long, long while.

#miyakoloprom #askiceboundlopunny

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shinglescat · 4 years

Text

This is the end, yay.

Previous or all stories at once.

The voice of the Prince still lingered in her head. The bizarre time in his custody – something she could’ve never imagined to happen; not a single lesson from her grandmother ever prepared her for this. The Prince… was rather gentle towards her, caring even, as far as you can call a Daedra caring; she even thought this isn’t him, someone else, someone but Molag Bal, but the longer she spent her time keeping him company, the more she saw behind the friendly façade. He noticed, but never acknowledged it, sticking with this game of sheer politeness and kindness, still.

He never forced her into anything, always provided her with new things to do and discover. Upon her arrival, the Prince delivered her of the wicked illness of his own creation – she almost lost herself to the thirst for blood that she sworn to never sate. She must’ve been pathetic enough for him to take pity on her. A benevolent ruler of his own dark kingdom, treating her like the most esteemed guest.

She would lie to herself if she said this wasn’t an important time in her life, that she regrets it. Molag Bal taught her lots of things, most of which were so surreal even her psijic grandmother had no idea about. In between the lessons, they used to have normal conversations, and the man would usually tell her a story of a kind and give her his insight into various events that ever happened. The things he said – the really disturbing things – she had a hard time believing him, yet he made it all sound so right, so logical…

She looked at the house down the street – the family’s that took her cousin in, their house. It was so tiny and so humble; she’s never seen them like that – too used to the comfort of the Sorano estate, too used to its hearth, its smells, its looks and the atmosphere of luxury; the cold and harsh climate made her look back at what she’s given up – the warm and ever sunny Isles. Will she ever see her home again?

“You are the only one I can trust with this,” the Prince would to tell her, “He needs you now the most he ever needed you, he needs your guidance”. What made him think so, she wondered, of all people to entrust this to her – to a scared and a broken girl. He saw the looks she gave him, the mistrust in her eyes, yet still… Livaen sighed, stopping in front of the door, pressing her forehead into the dried out wood. What makes her obey his… plea? request? order? She could’ve just stopped, abandoned it all and instead followed her heart on this one. Was she scared of him? Or was she scared of what may happen? It was so easier back home – she had servants to take care of everything, and Esmir herself would decide upon urgent and important matters. Now – it’s just her, her and her dearest cousin, both all grown up.

She pressed the palm of her hand into the handle, pushing the door forward. A wave of smells rushed into her face, the sweet and meaty tones, warm and homey – so different from what she’s used to. It made her nauseous with nostalgia – it felt like home, but… it was an alien home, someone else’s but hers.

- ...They only have fifty years of time to do everything they want. They don't have a promise of a millennia like you, – Aspen argued, leaning against the wall. This quarrel again, Livaen sighed, they’ve been on it since they’ve returned from the Void a few days ago; it seemed like her cousin got bit in the ass about the dumbest thing in the world. He’s been quite vocal in his discontent about the girls’ departure in the nearest future, even with his strong dislike towards Visenya’s attitude. The girl used to say he just envied her and was jealous of them, the ashen haired man on the other hand was sure Mark was just afraid to lose them, yet it was only her that saw through it, Livaen thought. His usual phlegmatic nature, his temperament all of a sudden shifted towards that of a more choleric nature, making the elf unusually snappy and angry, reactive and irrational; almost a polar opposite of himself. And as another addition to that – the gold of his skin has completely faded, replaced with porcelain instead – it didn’t go unnoticed by anyone this time: the parents were concerned about his wellbeing, believing he might’ve contracted a disease of sorts that made him look and behave like this, yet… – Both Meltem and Visenya have their own lives now, they can't be forever at your side, – he moved closer to the elf, his palm touching Mark’s forehead. The kid flinched at that barely noticeable, but remained still, – You have a fever, – the man concluded, making Livaen cringe at that – the man was so over the top sometimes, it made the girl want to vomit.

- And will you stay with me for a millennia? – Mark asked, anger and poison leaking from his voice, tired of everything – he’s been so restless lately, – Of course you won't, – he smirked, – I don't even know how old you are, might just fucking leave me as well before you die too, – he threw his arm into the air as if to make a statement, turning around himself, his voice faltering – the last part of the sentence ended up being silent. The elf went straight for the door, only now noticing the witness to the argument, and the girl instantly felt bad about it – for not interrupting them beforehand. Mark stopped for a moment, as if deciding what to do next, and stormed out of the house as he made his mind.

Livaen looked behind her, the door closed with a loud thud.

- What was this all about this time? – she asked, going to the kitchen table with a small basket full of foodstuffs she got for herself at the market. The man loudly sighed and covered his eyes.

- He’s sick, – he replied, taking a sit on the ladder, – He’s sick, and he doesn’t want to do anything about it.

- He’s always been like that, – she nodded, sitting down on the bench. Meltem had told them that they – she, her now wife Visenya and half-sister Jacqueline – were leaving for Chorrol in a few days. The sisters had a house left from their shared father, no one’s been living in there for quite a few years since his passing, making it stay abandoned for just as long, – I wonder how much their marriage is going to last, – she said quietly to herself, but that didn’t go unheard by the man. He looked at her with a wordless question on his face, – Did he meet him? – she asked instead. Livaen knew the answer herself – the elf did meet the Prince and even had the talk with him, otherwise he wouldn’t have just… changed so much asudden. She asked about it nonetheless – to divert the attention and to avoid any more of the unnecessary drama her question might cause later. Aspen glanced at her, still puzzled, – You are always with him. Did he meet the father? – she repeated the question again, a little bit annoyed. He must have met him, he’s just a coward to do what he’s been told.

- Yes. Yes, he did, but we didn’t tell anyone…?

The girl brushed her hair.

- He.., – she started, trying to explain the thing, gesturing vaguely in front of her, – His blood… it’s acting up. It’s like… if you hold bad emotions locked inside, they will find a way out someday. And he’s got daedric blood in him. He’s… he’s just so confused. I don’t really know, he, – she implied the Prince, – didn’t warn me about the mood swings, – Livaen sighed, getting up from the bench. He did warn her though that she must guide him along this path and be there when he needs her; she must help him understand and reconcile with himself, – We need to find him before it gets worse. Wouldn’t want a psycho on the loose..

They’ve found him under the giant tree, sitting on the bench, facing the old statue of Talos. He buried his face into the palms of his hands, breathing heavily. This was the worst period in his life: the uncertainty, the separation, the revelation – it all hit him at the same time, making his existence insufferable. He had no idea what awaits him in future, he’ll probably have to carry on alone later, for all his loved ones are humans with a lifespan of a burning match… And him being a demi-prince didn’t ease the burden. It all just snowballed and like an avalanche buried him underneath, no way for him to escape this.

Livaen stopped in her tracks near him, observing: he was miserable, she’s never seen him so crushed, so depressed; it seemed like he was about to break apart. And there was nothing she could do on her own to help him, to ease the suffering.

Aspen came close to him, letting his hands into the jet black hair of her cousin. The girl grimaced, for the hundredth time today, it seemed: all these idle touches, glances – it was so disgustingly sweet, mawkish even; her cousin was so in love with the man – it’s going to hurt to bring him back on track later. Maybe she just was jealous, envied him – it was hard for her to think about it: she would banish the thought just before it surfaces in her mind – over and over again, and she didn’t want to admit, too pathetic to own up to her flaws. She never had a feeling just as strong as her cousin’s to this man – this thought about it made her anxious – she never had a chance to experience something like this – to fall in love and be loved in return. Yet her dearest cousin had it all, it seemed, from a caring bride-to-be to some… random hookup. It wasn’t fair; her entire life was planned out for her by their own grandmother – some Alinor nobleman already waiting to get his hands on her fragile frame. She had no say in this, but she just accepted her fate and patiently waited for when it’s time. Livaen snorted at her own thoughts inelegantly: after what she’s been through even arranged marriage would be impossible – who needs a wife that cannot bear children anymore in a society where succession matters most? She suddenly felt disgusted and repulsed: her cousin was so irresponsible to throw himself into someone’s arms like that, especially those of a man; it was selfish. Now that she herself won’t be able to bring a child into this world, he’s the only one who could continue the line, but he instead preferred lust and debauchery… it was her envy speaking – she couldn’t help but turn bitter at what her cousin had and what she’ll never have; it was easy to hate on him, easy to disregard the story behind them both.

- Shit, – she heard Mark swear. He shook his head a little to make the bothering thoughts go away, remaining silent for a moment and allowing himself to enjoy the gentle hands in his hair – a universal medicine for calming down, – I’m so sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into me, – Livaen rounded the bench to sit near the cousin. He was shaking slightly, as if having a fever, face pale and sick, – I’m just… It’s all so fucking overwhelming, I can’t handle it all, – he grabbed the hands in his hair and pulled onto himself, throwing Aspen’s arms around his neck in an embrace, – It feels like I’m drowning, suffocating, and those cunts don’t help it a bit, – Mark hid his face in the man’s upper arm, letting out a strangled wobbling sigh, – I’m… so sorry, I can’t really control myself at the moment. I’m such an angsty asshole lately, – he laughed hysterically, squeezing Aspen’s hand. He pulled it closer to his face, placing his lips on man’s knuckles, – I’m so fucking sorry for making you see this shit.

This gesture – it almost made the girl gag.

- You need to return to the Void, – Livaen told him, fighting with herself to keep the face straight. She reached his hand, holding it softly but firmly in hers, – Bal told me, it’s going to… make it easier for you, – Mark snorted sarcastically and shook his head. Behind the sarcasm though was pure dread, – I know you are afraid of it. But we can always do it together, right? – she addressed the ashen haired man, and he nodded in agreement. Livaen smiled at her cousin, – You sure do love company.

...

They made their way up to the infinite pillars that were rising from below the water and stretching far into the sky, disappearing somewhere above in the impenetrable veil of mist. It welcomed them with a lone boat bobbing at the end of the platform – no walkway for them to get to the Heart.

The Void was the same today, same as before, yet different: a couple of plants managed to break through the stone and bloom under the ethereal sun: a field blossom and a tiny shrub of rowan. It was something new, but not unheard of – the Void brought leviathans into this world on a whim; it decorated everything with the violet silks… yet flowers? They didn’t look out of place, they looked like they belonged together with the obsidian of stone and the sapphire of waters; it was a strange time to have a spring here though; however, the plants brought hope with them, and thus – some inner peace for a change.

The boat set sail as soon as they got themselves comfortable – Mark sat at the very bow with Aspen just behind him in the middle, Livaen having her place at the stern – it took them farther away from the usual places they’ve been to, maneuvering in between the giant monolithic towers. From a distance a light breeze brought some rogue petals and flowers, making the girl wonder what was so exciting for the Void to start blooming all of a sudden.

It was curious for Livaen: as it turned out the Void is a plane of Oblivion, the girl thought, and the realms always reflect their masters, their emotions and feelings, their state of mind. Would it be possible for them to reflect something else, something the masters hold dear? She will never get to test this theory, but if it was true – something must be influencing the Void to change.

The veil ahead of them started to clear out, leaving patches of white clouds here and there, revealing a lone island in this sea of nothing. Stone thorns swirled all around it, cradling the Heart, creating an impenetrable shell to protect the insides; from behind the stone – a faint glistering – something flowed behind like a silk in the wind. This is the core of the Void – it was blooming in full, its blossom slowly spreading away from the Heart far beyond the thick shroud of mist.

As the boat docked with the island, the only entrance of the Heart opened the way, welcoming the guests with a complete darkness seeping from the inside. Within – the same dark stone with cerulean waters glowing from behind them, illuminating the place softly; in the middle – a basin with ornate smoke circling under the water; above them all – a myriad of suspended in the air crystals reflecting in the stone and lone silks hanging from the thorns. And all around them – flowers’ bloom.

Mark sat near the basin, the others beside him, holding him by his hands. He looked into the water, watching a black swirl of mist emerge from below, enveloping the people with darkness and silence…

...

A woman’s shriek, the one that could tear a soul apart; a pained cry of a baby – it was all covered with a cloud of obscurity – nothing could be seen but felt. “Get it away from me!” – the woman cried, her anger and fear leaking through her voice directed at the newborn soul. She asked for it, begged on her knees; she knew the price she had to pay. She thought it would make her stronger, thought it would open new prospects. She got what she wanted; now – she does not want it anymore, too scared of it. “Get rid of it!” – could be heard echoing in the darkness, voice decaying quickly.

A bright flash, and a white light engulfed it all, slowly fading to reveal a snowy forest in the middle of winter: bright setting sun lighting the snowdrifts, reds and oranges scattering through clear frozen crystals. Under a tree – a roll of fabric lied, tiny golden hands showing from under the thin blanket. The baby cried, loud at first, calling for its impending doom: if it’s not the frost to take its live, then wolves; its bright and cold umber eyes red from the tears. As the sun went lower – the cries turned silent. The gold of the skin faded, now sick and blueish, cold quickly creeping to clench its grasp around the tiny heart and claim it. “Here we go”, someone came over to rescue the child as if they knew it would be here at the mercy of the fate. A man held the child in his arms, gently stroking the frozen face until the red of blood started flowing again, bringing back the fading life into the newborn. “It is decided then”, a cold and quiet voice of a woman spoke, as she appeared before the man. She looked at the child with a genuine smile, stroking its forehead with her finger – the child already opened the eyes, beaming at its saviors – the man smiled in return too, too hard to resist, hiding the smile behind a frown the next moment. “Name the boy”, the woman commanded. “Markus”, the man said, “Now let’s get you home”, he finished, as the memory was enveloped into a dark cloud only to reveal another one.

There wasn’t a flash this time, just careful fade from black to the warm orange of a fireplace, candles that lit up the room, that lit up the two figures standing near a wall. One was the man from before, the other – an unknown woman… the mother, the cowardly mother. A strong grip on her neck prevented her from moving, as the man was looming over her like a menacing shadow, sparks crackling dangerously between the fingers of his other hand. “Try this again,” he said, the memory of the abandoned child in the snows too vivid to forget, “and you will suffer a worse fate”, he warned her. It wasn’t the first time the woman did this, and it won’t be the last – she hates the child, she dreads it with an unreasonable fear. The demonic child, as she called him to justify her actions; she never listens to the warnings, always does what she wants only to be severely punished in the end. “Do not forget, my darling, your soul belongs to me”, he said for the hundredth time already, as the mother couldn’t understand that there was no deliverance from this anymore. “The worse you make his life – the worse yours is going to become”, the man had to let go, as the boy creeped up to him, starving for attention. “Why don’t you take your damned spawn with you?” the woman spat, watching the father caress the son in his hands. “My spawn?” the man laughed wickedly, the child echoing him lightly – the complete opposite of his father, the innocence – kissing the boy’s head. “You begged me for it, and now the least you can do is to be a decent mother”, he finished, letting the memory drift away.

The next memory burst open, black mist leaking out of it, bringing the feel of dread and desperation, filling the place to the brim with pain and misery. The sharp smell of blood, the dampness of endless tears, a silent cry still lingering in the air. And there he was, still infant, lying on the cold stone floor alone and unmoving. It was the mother again – too much of a coward to put an end to his miserable life, to end the agony and torment of her own son; she hated the way he looked at her. He wanted to cry, but no sound escaped him, no tear left his eyes – there were none left, all wasted already to the never-ending woe. A gentle breeze, and from somewhere above a moonlight shone through, serving as the only beacon of light as the jet black shadows crawled towards the child only to be broken by the man appearing from the darkness. The boy couldn’t see anymore but feel, reaching out to the gloom man with his tiny golden arms; the father nestling him up into an embrace to soothe the pain. He stroked son’s face softly, lightly touching the fluff of the lashes – the kid would have probably giggled at the touch, yet not a sound came from him. The boy opened his eyes, slowly, revealing the wounds inflicted upon – no more the noble of umber, only crimson of blood. The man cradled the child, soothing the sore eyes; a moment later – and the moonlight replaced the gore, shining bright silver in the sea of darkness, gleaming still through the thickening mist.

“And what is it that you want, Stone-Fire?” a female voice spoke – the grandmother, sounding through the clearing memories. It was a surprise for her – to see such a guest in her home. “I could tell where your daughter is, and in return you would owe me a favor”, the man replied, holding the details a secret. He wasn’t desperate, just… considerate. What he had seen was the last straw for him – the mother would never change; it was the right time to change the players before something regrettable happens. “I’m listening…” Soldiers in black and gold armors dragged out a woman out of her house, throwing her in the middle of town’s plaza for everyone to see. The golden skin, pointy ears – it looked like a spectacle, a warning for any other that would want to become a renegade, a message to their own kin of the dangers of betrayal. A tall woman with a skin of bronze commanded the parade – it was her daughter lying there, trashing around and spitting out curses. Near the commander another man stood, wide in his shoulders, skin of copper, holding the child found in the basement – his bright silver eyes looking at the mother with dread and sorrow. “Mother! Please!” the woman plead, as the grandmother approached her, slapping her across the face. “You should have thought about your life before you made a run”, she told her daughter, holding her by her hair. The woman was scared, afraid for her own life; she didn’t want to die, not yet. She franticly looked around only to find her dearest husband making his escape with their firstborn; he didn’t even tried to free her, to help her, just left her at the mercy of these people. “Orlan!” the grandmother commanded to the copper-skinned man, “He doesn’t need to see this, turn around”. The man did as told, only tiny golden arms reaching out to the mother as he turned around – the last thing the woman saw, before the grandmother slit her throat, slowly. The blood rushed from her neck and onto the ground like tsunami flooding the land, painting it crimson.

The crimson mist swirled, forming the blood red poppies on a field of gold. Two girls ran around a tree: one with a skin of finest porcelain, hair of raven wing, the other with a skin of gold, hair dark as night. Under the tree the boy dreamed, blessed smile on his face. “Markus!” the raven-haired girl stopped by, taking his hands in hers, tugging the boy onto herself, “Join us!” she said, grabbing the other girl by hand, locking them into a circle and spinning as fast as they could go, red petals flying around softly, taken up into the air by the whirlwind of fun. They broke the circle then, falling on the ground – golden grass was their carpet, their joyous laughter ever so loud. A golden cloud descended from above, forming a male figure – the father; the kids squeaked, cheerful, rushing to the man. He caught the boy in his arms, raising him high into the air, cradling him up into an embrace.

“Markus!” the grandmother shouted – the memory flaring up to let another one in its place – running towards the boy. The kid, covered in bruises and scratches, was kneeling in the middle of a street. It was a mess: once a street full of children looked like a warzone now, destroyed completely by their own stupidity. She warned their parents, she warned them countless times to restrain their children, yet no one listened; now they paid for it, paid for their ignorance and arrogance, hopefully not with their children’s lives.

The grandson was burning, but the flames didn’t damage his body or his clothes. He was scared. It all happened so quickly he had no time to react. He just exploded, releasing it all that’s been held inside. The anger burst open with fires, sweeping away everything that stood in their way; flames burning flesh and stone, drawing the cries from the now victims. He was afraid of this; he didn’t want it to happen – he didn’t know it could happen; he thought he had no magic in him, yet…

The grandmother run to him, pulling him up into her hands. She wasn’t scared of the flames, she didn’t care about them. She could get hurt, but in the end it didn’t matter. What mattered the most was the child in her arms, and she would do everything for him to not get hurt again.

“I’ve… reconsidered”, – the grandmother’s voice was heard, erasing the scene and bringing another, “This... arrangement we had”, she addressed her general, “it’s not going to take us anywhere, I’m afraid. I do not desire to give away the boy, he is my blood after all, my grandson. We should do something about it”. She… got attached to the kid, acknowledged him as her offspring – her late daughter’s legal child. The kid was clever; it would be a shame to give him back to his father later. His blood, the heritage – it all made him even more interesting for her, and with the proper education he would benefit her cause. “Sire”, the general said, “Do you have an idea?” he looked outside of the window, there, where the laughter came from. “Indeed I do, Orlan”, the grandmother nodded, “It’s… quite ambitious, if I can say so myself”, she wickedly smiled, “These two fighting one another for as long as the world exists – they are going to help us. The Princes – they are so vain they will do whatever it takes to destroy each other”, the woman sighed, excited, “And they will have to obey me to get what they desire”. “Sire?” the man asked, her loyal henchman, the right hand. “Why bother with mere racial superiority”, she explained, “when we could bring down Gods and Princes? We could destroy the masters themselves. No gods or kings, only man”…

“He didn’t come, again”, the raven-haired girl complained lightly, as the previous reminiscence faded into a red sunset, girl’s emerald eyes shining softly in the setting sun. The father hasn’t visited the boy yet again, for another week straight. “Grandmother said he had to sail somewhere”, the boy replied, fidgeting with a poppy flower in his hands, “He’s going to be back soon, I’m sure”, he smiled at her. The girl smiled in return, leaning against the boy, her head resting on his shoulder. “Markus?” she called him, to which he grunted in acknowledgement, “Do you love me?” The kid cringed, “EW. No, you are gross”, he replied, which made her giggle. “But you have to!” she jokingly complained, poking him into his sides, “Ouchies”, the boy rubbed his skin, totally unimpressed. “You have to love me, we’re going to get married when we grow up”, the girl closed her eyes, envisioning the future. The other kid wasn’t really thrilled about it. “What if I don’t want it?” he asked, something unpleasantly twisting in his stomach, “You are my friend, and I don’t want to marry my friend. It’s… wrong”, he declared, still fidgeting with the flower between his fingers, “People marry who they love, not friends. I’m going to marry a girl I love”. “But I am a girl!” the young lady pouted. “You’re not a girl, you’re my friend. Gross”, the kid shivered, and they both laughed at that, careless about anything in the world.

A gray fog enveloped it all, fading out quickly to reveal a dark and shiny stone. Cold. Lone. Empty. It hanged up in the air above the obsidian of the water waving with the soft breeze like a black silk. The kids have never seen this place, but it seemed hospitable enough for them to stay. It… it was young, just like them, starving for contact, for living souls. It felt lonely and sad, but now – now it was in delight of finally meeting someone, of finally not being alone anymore, of having… friends. They’ve brought light and happiness to it, their laughter echoing from the stone, going up above into the air. Like a wave the glee washed all over the place, turning the desolation into peace.

“Do you remember those creatures we saw the other day in the sea?” the boy asked his friend one day. The mighty monsters, the behemoths of the oceans – they were so majestic, so noble, he thought, if only he could see them again… It heard the boy, it felt his emotions; as if from his memory the leviathans, gently flowing in the air above the stone, appeared from the thick mist; the lullaby they sang resounded in the very hearts and souls, so dreamy.

No boy was around this time, only the girl. Her raven locks fluttered in the breeze, as she herself eyed a regal woman standing on the other side of the walkway. The woman from before. She waved at the girl as if offering her to make her company, to which the girl did not refuse. They had a talk, a pleasant one at first – the woman seemingly wanting to befriend the young lady; then it shifted to something darker, until the woman took the girl by her arm and vanished. The raven-haired girl returned only after a while; her eyes glowed with gold, happy as never before.

The little noble elven girl cried, as the ship with her friend and her family sailed away. Her cousin on the contrary kept himself collected and serious, a lone tear sparkling on his cheek. They had no idea why the family of the emerald-eyed girl had to leave, but their grandmother knew. The old lady would never tell the children the whole story, maybe some mock up later. Oh, this lying Breton family – she had enough with their deceit. The shady market practice is one thing – it could be forgiven, but an attempt at kidnapping – it is something else. The grandmother was furious to know about this treachery – they already had this marriage agreement, but the breton lord decided to do it his way and kidnap woman’s only grandson. It was a miracle her right hand discovered it, preventing the disaster before it could happen. She should have beheaded them all, but the ruined reputation is worse than any death.

Warm hands awoke the boy – it was an old man, the grandmother’s old flame; silver moon shining through a window lit his dark gray hair tied into a high ponytail, his deep green eyes sparkling in the night. “Get up, get the things you need”, he told the kid, leaving him to look out of the window. It was now or never; the only chance he had to leave this place for good. “Where are we going?” the boy asked, rubbing his sleepy eyes. He did not want to leave, but it was of importance to get him out from the Isles, away from his ambitious grandmother. The man knew what she planned to do, her grandeur plans with the kid playing the main role. “Mark”, the old man crouched in front of him, “We have to leave. Now”. “But how about the grandmother, uncle Nar?” The old elf returned a year ago, pledged himself to serve the grandmother once again, loyal and obedient. It was hard to gain her trust yet again, but eventually – she opened up to him once more. It was all part of his plan – to deceive her and to thrust a knife in her back just like she did herself to him before; this wound, however, would hurt much more. “Uncle, I don’t want to go”, the kid said shaking his head. Right, the man thought, he didn’t have any reason to wish to leave this place, even after all the fairy tales of the north he told him. “Markus”, the old man started, smiling at how concentrated the kid got once he used this name, “There is no time for this. We’ve decided. The boat is setting sail in a few”, he had to take the boy away – for the sake of the future, for the sake of this kid’s life; he’d be damned if he’d let the woman use the child in her wicked schemes, “If you don’t like it there – I will bring you back, alright?” The kid nodded, sad and solemn asudden. The man felt sorry for taking him away, but a better and safe life awaits him once they make it from the Isles…

He didn't know the price he had have to pay – to be branded as a traitor by the one he once loved.

“Mom”, the boy said, suddenly shutting himself, eyes wide open as if he said something bad. The surrounding air filled with silence in an instant, and the awkwardness filled the kid to the top. He never had anyone to call a mom or a dad, and this one just… slipped. He felt ashamed; he didn’t want to look in the eyes of this woman anymore, face red from embarrassment. Instead of saying anything though, the woman just moved from her place, locking the kid into a loving and caring embrace. There was nothing wrong that he said; he finally felt safe.

The same girl – raven black locks, emerald eyes, almost a woman now – yet there was something different about her, something… not right. She seemed restless walking around the stone, like if she couldn’t find a place to stay. She brought a lot of things with her this time: many ancient books in a dead language; artifacts of a long gone race. The young lady always strived for knowledge, and the lessons she had along with her friends – it wasn’t enough, she always wanted more. Some of the things that she brought with her – they’ve been lost to the world, and some – hidden so deep inside the other realms it was impossible to recover them; where did she get them remained unknown. The lady would study them thoroughly, always returning to the beginnings to check the things she had learned. And this carried on for ages, it seemed, time stretching so much it fit hundreds of years into a single day. Yet she wanted more…

The woman from before came to her one day as if was called – their speech muffled, obscured by a primordial magic on purpose, impossible for anything to be heard. The girl bowed before the woman in the end, knelt, eyes close shut and brows furrowed. A fear lingered in the air surrounding her, but she was committed like never before – she would do whatever it takes to save the one she cares about even if the words the woman spoke scared her too much. A touch – and it all went ablaze with a brightness of thousands of suns. Regret, remorse, and anguish – all washed over the girl as she realized – she was deceived. It was too late to turn back now, no way for her to save her very self: her soul would be destroyed and absorbed, her body would become a living corpse following commands a few moments later. It reached out to the girl as her shadow imprinted on the place; it reached out and snatched a piece of her soul before the woman would consume it. It hid it in the deepest recesses no one would ever venture to. The girl is the part of it now, fused together into a single entity.

“Look!” a girl with chestnut hair and crystal blue eyes, skin of a cream – now the boy’s sister – pointed at something in the distance. A noble looking young woman, hair of the finest rye, skin of light gold, eyes of bronze; she moved with such a grace it seemed she didn’t walk but flied through air. He’s never seen anyone more angelic than her; she was the embodiment of everything beautiful in the world he has seen and he has yet to see. The woman glanced at him, half smile on her face, and it was enough to make his heart beat faster, blood rushing to his face, his lashes fluttering. “Why don’t you talk to her?” the sister asked, and that was enough for filling the embarrassment quota for today, making him retreat home.

“Aren’t you the one looking for a companion?” the kid came up to an ashen haired man sitting in the corner. He wasn’t a fan of approaching strangers – this one looked weird, sick and creepy, flower tattoo on his neck and a laurel around his ear – but there was no one else in this place who had the same route as him. The silver greatsword shifted on his back uncomfortably – damn be the day he listened to these old men saying he must wield a sword just as big as him. “Where are you heading?” the man asked not even bothered to look up. “Same as you”, it was dangerous to tell the destination aloud, but luckily, there were not many people around to overhear him. It was really careless of him to tell the bartender this, though, one never knows if they’re honest or not, but there was no other way around this: this area was too difficult to traverse on his own, alone, with each turn hiding behind a witch or a berserk ready to skin people alive. “Are you sure you can wield that paddle on your back?” the man smirked at him, getting up on his feet, and the kid sighed in frustration – this is going to be an adventure.

It barely made it in time, barely awoke the outsider the master brought here with him. The vestige, following commands from beyond, layered magic upon magic on the kid, binding him to the image of his long lost friend; he listened to the every honeyed word the vessel said, too enthralled to notice the deceit.

The outsider was right in time to disrupt it – it felt forever grateful to the odd looking man; and now that the effigy was gone, the kid is finally free from harm safe for the mournful melancholy and tears or relief.

It won’t allow this to happen again.

The last memory slowly faded, echoing in the darkness still. The veil of remembrance gradually lifted, sense by sense returning to the unmoving bodies, waking them from their slumber. Too exhausted…

- Shit, – Mark hissed, covering his eyes with his arm. The memories left an unpleasant feeling in his guts along with annoying anxiety playing in the background of his head, – Shit, imagine hating someone but being a fucking coward to do something radical about it, – he tried to stand up, but his own weight anchored him to the stone. So tired.

Livaen shifted on the floor, rising from the cold stone: her body was just as sore, so she just sat there modestly, watching her cousin gasp for air, squirming in his desire to get up.

- Mark, – she called quietly, afraid to scare him. He hummed in response, – I’m so sorry. Your mother, the aunt, I…, – she couldn’t finish the sentence, as he interrupted her with a gesture of his arm.

- Don’t. She got what she deserved, – the kid exhaled loudly, the arm falling limp on the stone. That woman – he wouldn’t even call her a mother; someone else but. His mother, the real mother that loved him and cared for him, waited for him in his new home.

- Do you… Do you need to talk?

The elf cringed painfully.

- Fuck no, I’ve seen enough, – he pushed himself off of the stone, sitting on the floor, – Fuck. Fuck me, – Mark shook his head, hiding the face in the palms of his hands for a moment. It was all so messed up, so twisted; how little idea he had about anything at all, and everything that he knew about his past – it was all lies, a pain inflicted upon him and his loved ones by the creatures more powerful than any mortal. He sighed, removing the hands from his face, looking up into the stone, – Cath? – he called, and the Void responded with a light breeze, strands of his hair waving gently as if someone combed through, – Shit, – he snickered, shaking his head: she’s always been here at his side, and he didn’t even know it, – imagine if I haven’t met you, – the elf addressed the ashen haired man this time that was already standing on his feet.

The soft breeze inside the Heart changed a little, sounds travelling differently.

- You’d be dead, – someone from behind announced, – She would have murdered you first – you would become a threat to her, – the Prince walked inside as if on cue – he must have listened in on everything, but then again – the Void was once a part of his realm, – Then she would have destroyed me. After – she would have claimed both your realm and mine, and for the final – she would have hunted down everyone who has or had any connection to me, good or bad. But, – he offered his hand to the elf. Mark looked at it with mistrust, but soon grabbed it, and the Prince pulled him on his feet, – she was too late, – he looked at Aspen, – Have you thought about that favor I owe you by the way?

Mark walked up to the basin, throwing one last glance into it. The whirlwind under the water calmed down, and smoke just leisurely floated inside.

- What happens now?

- You tell me, – the Prince replied, unmoving, – You could end this right here and now, or you could continue living on with this burden, being hunted by Meridia.

The girl moved from her spot.

- Mark, – she grabbed his arm firmly, reaching around him to look him into the eyes, – Please, don’t rush it. Let us think this through, – she lowered her voice, whispering, almost hissing at him, – He is the Schemer Prince, he may be lying about all of this. Even the memories – they might be untrue!

The kid stopped her with a gesture of his hand. He was so tired of everything. Mark moved past the Prince and through the exit, paying no attention to the three behind him. The air outside was so crisp and clean, like if a thunderstorm washed all over the place – the smell of electricity so prominent and liberating. He inhaled lungs full of air till they started aching, alleviating his mind and soul of the worries. Livaen was right, indeed, it was necessary to think this all through before deciding anything, yet he couldn’t wait anymore.

Was he the one to blame here? If it wasn’t for him, Catherine would be alive, Esmir’s daughter too, and Livaen wouldn’t’ve endured the horrible pain; Narandil would have his face intact – the scar serving him a reminder of the betrayal, and Visenya would have never known the grip of death. Was it his fault of endangering all of these people? Maybe he just shouldn’t’ve been born at all, maybe he was just a someone’s mistake. Right… A mistake. He was a mistake – the mistake of his mother and his grandmother; the payment for their ambitions; a scapegoat. If only they could have quenched their hunger.

The kid stopped at the crossroads, the entire walk absorbed in his thoughts, following the paths the Void laid down before him. He looked around: they followed him closely, not speaking a word, giving him space to breathe. It was now or never; with a heavy sigh he turned around, facing the Prince.

- I’ve decided, – he told him, the words coming off easier than he anticipated, – You have my favor.

The man only nodded in acknowledgement, and nothing else happened. So anticlimactic; he wouldn’t lie to himself, he expected a storm, a battle, an army of Meridia’s Aurorians – anything at all, but not this – just a nod of the head. But come whatever may, it just must end.

- Show yourself, – the Prince commanded to someone, voice like a thunder roaring through the air. The vestige appeared – the Catherine, her hair of pure gold this time, – Using the vessel still, I see? – the man smirked, drawing a low hostile groan from the woman.

- Just do what you have to do, Stone-Fire, – she replied, the look on the face solemn. She possessed the body herself, unwilling to come in person unlike numerous times she did in the memories, afraid of what’s about to happen. Was she trying to buy herself some time? Or was she trying to save herself using the image of the long lost girl?

- I was about to, – he told her, bowing slightly before her as a courtesy, – But I have something to ask first. Mark? – the Prince addressed the kid – he looked fatigued, eyes weary and sleepy, – What are you going to do about Esmir now that you know everything? She almost sacrificed her own child for her ambitions; murdered her daughter; wanted, most likely still wants to use you in her own devices; indirectly caused Catherine’s untimely demise; melted Narandil’s face; tortured your friends and almost killed Visenya… She was and is one of those behind Thalmor; she still bears the idea of bringing down the masters. What are you going to do about her?

Mark frowned, looking at the Daedra. A strange timing to this question, yet so weirdly right, he thought, as he forgot about the grandmother completely. It had nothing to do with the situation at hand, though still he decided upon indulging the man in this matter.

- Well, – he started, calculating every possible outcome for her and for them, – Esmir has to go, – Mark said, voice stern and confident. Livaen looked at him, a wordless question in her eyes, yet said nothing, – Livaen will replace her as the head of the house, – the decision earned an interested look from the Prince, but he didn’t interrupt the elf: he expected him to say he will seize the power for himself, like a child of his should, yet he didn’t. The kid took a deep breath, thinking: there was no denying of the crimes the woman has committed, and she would have to pay eventually for everything. But at the same time…, – She is also very valuable to dispose of, if that’s what you were waiting from me to comment upon, – Mark glanced at the Daedra. The man nodded in response, – She might be vile and cruel, but she’s one of the most brilliant people that ever lived. It would be a shame to lose her. So – she will stay by Livaen’s side as an advisor, nothing else, – a twisted glee flashed on the Prince’s face, and he applauded. It wasn’t what the man expected: he expected the son to give the woman to him to torture her endlessly for every broken deal they had; but this decision was… very prudent, to say the least, practical, and it made him feel really proud of the child. He would make sure himself the woman stays on track and serves the children properly.

- Now tell me, – the Prince asked in a curious tone, too excited with the previous answer. He moved closer to the kid, throwing an arm around his shoulders, – I’ll let you decide her fate, – the man gestured at the vessel, implying the person behind it. A fury crossed the vessel’s face, but died out quickly, – What should I do with her?

- Let her live, – the elf answered confidently, the answer final and definite. The woman looked at him, bewildered, not saying a word; the father just smiled wickedly – oh, the practicality of this kid: the woman was too… dear for him to get rid of, his very existence would become boring without his nemesis, and now that she’s defeated – she’ll try to avenge this embarrassment sometime later in future. It’s a fun game, a tug of war of sorts, and the man definitely enjoys it despite the lesser failures along the way. She must love it too… The Prince used the confusion of the woman and made a leap forward all of a sudden, getting close to the vessel in one big step and cutting its throat. The body went limp in an instant, no blood pouring from the wound; the man caught the finally dead Catherine in his arms, gently laying her down onto the stone. His finger stroked her face softly, closing her eyes forever now. After – he rose up, turning around to see the son one more time.

- She wouldn’t do the same for you. I hope she appreciates it, – and with this the Prince disappeared into thin air.

It was anticlimactic.

Later that day they placed her body onto a boat – the bed of roses – its material very similar to that of a wood. Mark set the float on fire, her body catching flames quickly – the blaze so hot and bright; the Void’s tide taking her away into the mists beyond. The breeze carried her ashes away as she burned, turning them into the finest crystals. It was sad, but he was also happy she finally has her peace – she finally reconnected with herself, he felt it in the air; she was gleeful about it, she’s been waiting for so long to become whole again. It was snowing after for a few days, snowing with sparkling in the invisible sun crystals.

...

- Hurry! – the elf girl commanded to a servant, – Please, don’t break it! – she looked all over the crates they’re going to ship back to Alinor – all filled to the brim with Skyrim’s treasures.

It was the end; they were boarding the ship to set sail back home – to Summerset. Esmir and her loyal bodyguard were already aboard, yet Livaen still lingered ashore for someone to finally show up and say farewells. She wanted him to leave with her, to join her and return home; she was dreading the time she’ll have to step in in her full rights as the head of the house with little friends by her side, she wanted him to share this power and ease the burden; he was adamant about staying up here in the North though.

- Livaen, – someone gently touched her elbow, soft and low female voice getting her attention, – Relax, don’t want you start spitting diamonds here, – Meltem smirked at her, making a remark about the tension in the girl’s whole body, pointing at two riders in the distance. Here they are, the girl smiled shifting her gaze onto the woman – she followed their path with her eyes before meeting Livaen’s. She’s bound to leave Skyrim with her, in so many years finally changing the place; it was heartbreaking to see her go, but hopefully it’s for the best. Everything happened so quickly; it happened just as quickly as they got married: just like Livaen anticipated their marriage didn’t last long, and they had to put a stop to it. Visenya – the girl’s head is full of wind, careless and childish still; their relationship was like a game to her, something unimportant and something she could disregard with ease. At least she doesn’t have an ache in her heart – she married the jarl’s brother the next day after the divorce. Maybe it was for the better… Meltem wanted to leave in the end, to leave Skyrim behind, wanted to go with her sister to Chorrol as they planned, but she couldn’t see herself as a housewife or anything like that. She is a warrior, and she will die with swords in her hands doing something that is worth dying for. She would’ve left, but Mark stopped her, suggesting she stays by his cousin’s side, being her shield and most importantly a friend for her.

- Hey! – the voice of her cousin returned her back to senses: he dismounted his horse, his companion following him closely behind, as always. They came closer, the elf locking the girl into an embrace – it was finally all over for him and for her, and she can safely return home as the new lady of the house, – You’re all ready? – he asked, firmly holding her by her shoulders.

- Yes, – she nodded, smiling, watching as he switched over to Meltem, their embrace so warm and everlasting; it was hard for both to let go. The ashen haired man followed the elf as he pulled away from the woman facing Livaen yet again. She sighed, a bit sad, – Are you sure you don’t want to leave with us? – the same old question, but it didn’t hurt asking.

- No, – Mark laughed lightly, shaking his head. He’s so different now from what he was a month ago – finally bright and full of life, – but I’ll visit you someday, – he leaned forward, kissing Livaen’s forehead, – I’m going to miss you both, so expect me, – the kid told both women, as an annoyed captain urged them to leave the docks and finally go aboard the ship. They hugged one more time saying their farewells and left the two behind ashore. Mark waved his hand, watching them set sail for the South – it was bittersweet to say goodbye, but this was life, and it’s unfair; he still has Aspen by his side, his parents in Whiterun too, and they’re going to visit the Isles sooner or later. With this thought, he smiled brighter than ever after them, his hand blindly finding the other man’s hand and squeezing in tightly.

#sc_storytime #SC_Mark #SC_LivaenSorano #FV_Aspen #SC_MeltemEsteban

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dansnaturepictures · 4 years

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Celebrating 10 years of my interest in butterflies, and subsequent interest in moths, dragon and damselflies

As I tweeted earlier 10 years ago today I photographed a Silver-washed Fritillary butterfly at Bolderwood in the New Forest. I said to my Mum on the walk I’d like to know what species that was. I was excited coming home from school as a 13 year old one day that summer when she’d brought me a butterfly and moth identification book. Beforehand as a budding birdwatcher just into photography I had seen butterflies whilst out, it turned out I saw a Silver-washed Fritillary in summer 2009 at Acres Down in the New Forest identified later form a photo I’d taken of it, I could recgonise a Peacock or Brimstone and had heard of Speckled Wood but it went no further. But after that moment that summer from my first ever Small Tortoiseshell on a glorious day weather wise at Simonsbath on Exmoor on our West Country holiday to my first Common Grayling at another part of New Forest walks around Bolderwood I enjoyed seeing and sometimes photographing butterflies whilst out and then using the book to identify them. I also did this with the occasional day-flying moth or one that came into the house such as Five-spot Burnet and Yellow Shell. With my eyes open on that massive day for me looking back with the Common Grayling at Bolderwood we also noticed and then identified via the internet a Golden-ringed Dragonfly which paved the way for us to like the dragon and damselflies and notice and start to identify them too.

This of course overlapped into 2011′s spring and summer where I saw butterflies for the first time from Marbled White and Large Skipper and Small Heath to Small Copper. I mostly watched butterflies at our local country park Lakeside and other immediately local areas and the New Forest where we went nearly every walk back then, I saw my first forest heathland specialty Silver-studded Blue that year too. In those first two summers with perhaps the amount of new birds we were seeing slowing down whilst I loved birds so much and was proud of my way of life with my hobby, getting into butterflies and the satisfaction of zooming into the natural world and learning something new was a revelation and something that excited us so much. Moths here and there were along for the ride and 2011 was a year I got more and more into the dragon and particularly damselflies too.

This has set the tone for an amazing decade where beside my main interest in birds which itself has got deeper and deeper in that time and my photography I’ve had a brilliant interest in insects to compliment it and enrich my connection to and fondness of the natural world. I look forward to the sunny and warm/hot days which will allow these butterflies to emerge and fly every spring and summer the peak butterfly season and the sign posts the butterflies provide to take from spring into summer especially and its been a true honour to see 46 spectacular species, take so many photos of them and have some of my greatest ever experiences with these flamboyant insects. Over the 10 years the damselfly and dragonfly interest has gone nicely alongside the butterflies perhaps a little lesser interest for me and the moths are something I have dipped into. Its quite easy with butterflies especially to do a year by year look back as the peak season is probably March-October so its a cross-section of a year whereas if I did a post commenting on each of my birding years I’d have too much to write and be here forever with so many I am lucky to see each month. I used to even be able to list my top 5 butterfly days mostly when I’d seen a lot of species or individuals but I’ve had too many such days each year now luckily! So that’s what I do for the rest of this post, introducing pictures of these insects that I’ve taken in the past in this photoset as I go.

The other big thing about my insect season in 2011 was that I purchased an important bit of photography kit, my first ever macro lens which I only replaced this year and still have for backup. This helped me massively in terms of being able to get those precious pictures I needed to help use the book to identify species and just take for fun. I was able with the macro lens to get so much closer than I would with my normal lens and get that important detail. I found whole new thrills just from using the macro lens of chasing butterflies and taking little safety shots in case it flies off when one landed as I make my body (bend down) to get nearer and nearer to the subject and in the right position.

Something I always refer to as the thrill of the chase. It was a whole new way of photography to learn to the point and shoot stuff I do with birds for example and that shows why my butterfly interest probably wouldn’t have happened without my photography interest which I only developed two or so years into my birdwatching interest. One of my proudest 2011 butterfly picture efforts was the first in this photoset of one of my favourites the Red Admiral at yes - you guessed it - Bolderwood in the New Forest in a hot spell that October. 2012 was something of a comedown for many reasons we didn’t have our best butterfly season but still saw some, and the other insects the second picture in this photoset of a Beautiful Demoiselle at Whitefield Moor in the New Forest one of my best photos that year.

This only paved the way though for a rapid expansion in our butterfly interest and the species I could see similar to that of birds that year and years to follow in that we explored many more new habitats to allow us to see different butterflies as well as the ones we’d seen between 2010 and 2012. Visits to places like Martin Down, Stockbridge Down, Noar Hill and Bentley Wood in Hampshire (now what I call our butterfly big four) places we’d never been before allowed us to see lots of new species at these sites. We saw 11 new butterfly species for us that year the highest amount of new ones we’d ever seen in a year and those four places in particular we’ve come back every year since for those species and more. One standout moment of 2013 was visiting the Isle of Wight seeing my first ever Small Blue and the very rare Glanville Fritillaries at Ventnor one day in June I took the third picture in this photoset of the latter we have never seen them again since.

Our 2014 butterfly season was much the same as a year with those new places explored again seeing the ones from 2013, the ones we’d seen before and five more newbies. I recorded 39 butterfly species seen that year. That figure would stand as my highest butterfly year list total until 2018. I took the fourth picture in this photoset of one of my favourite butterflies the Chalkhill Blue at one of those places Stockbridge Down in July 2014.

2015 and 2016 for butterflies were two years where we used these newfound special and wild places and species and saw most of a defined set of them again including the ones I saw before 2013 and 2014 and the batch I first saw in those years. I took great joy in taking macro pictures of it seemed a slightly different set each year and I felt after a camera upgrade in 2013 my pictures were getting better and better of them. I didn’t see a new species again until 2018 but I just loved seeing the ones I had already again and again and learning what comes out when and all the little quirks. I was still so fascinated by these insects and so very happy to see them. In 2015 I took the fifth picture in this photoset of an Elephant Hawk-moth at Blashford Lakes and 2016 one of my favourite dragonflies the Southern Hawker at Rutland Water showing how moth and dragon/damselflies were still something we saw and photographed over that period. 2015 and 2016 also with us living right beside Lakeside such a good habitat for butterflies now saw the development of my little walks there within days often just with my macro lens to solely see or try to butterflies such as Marbled White and Small Skipper in summer especially. That went a stage further in 2016 with me working then to create something I do every year now seeing these species and more in cut throughs of the meadow area on my commute home on light and sunny/hot evenings then popping back over with my macro lens to see more and photograph them.

But what I had loved doing was just as I do with birds, for butterflies, (moths for a bit but I don’t anymore) and nowadays dragon/damselfly (joint list) alongside mammals is keeping year lists. My butterfly year lists managing in the middle part of last decade and beyond to get to above 30 each year were the ones I was second most excited about after my bird ones the real staple of my hobby. By 2017 I held ambitions to beat or level my 2014 total of 39. When I saw my first Brown Argus of the year at Stockbridge Down and my first Painted Lady of 2017 in the garden on one August day my 37th and 38th species that spring and summer I knew I had one more I felt I could see, the Clouded Yellow a rare and unpredictable one I’d seen ever year since my first in 2013. I got a bit complacent looking back within myself and wrote about this on social media and lo and behold I didn’t see Clouded Yellow that summer and didn’t manage it. I did take many pictures of butterflies I was proud of in 2017 though like the seventh in this photoset of a Marsh Fritillary at Martin Down.

2018 will go down as my biggest rollercoaster of a butterfly year and a classic and pivotal one for me. I had a poor start with the cold weather in March, but in the hottest and most truest summer for years I had a boom period catching up a lot of the species and seeing so many through spring and summer. I always had the chance to make our 2018 memorable as after years of searching for them mostly at Bentley Wood and my Mum’s husband but not us seeing one in 2017 there we had booked up to go on a wildland safari of Knepp in Sussex the rewilding project on 1st July 2018 to try and see them in the key days they’re around what had become our dream butterfly the Purple Emperor. We saw over 50 of them that day and had one of our greatest ever butterfly days as I took the eighth picture in this photostet of one. Only a week before, with a holiday to Yorkshire for Bempton Cliff’s seabirds in between a classic summer week, we’d seen our first new butterfly for four years a White-letter Hairstreak at Southampton’s Peartree Green a butterfly we saw again at Knepp that day. So there was a mini expansion here and in a glorious summer this helped with numbers. When I saw a Brown Argus during in Butterfly Conservation’s ‘Big Butterfly Count’ something I love doing every year now later that July at Lakeside I did what I couldn’t a year before and made it butterfly 39 of my year to match 2014. One key species I needed to see was left the Common Grayling which I did use the New Forest heaths and manage to see again to take my 2018 year list to 40. Sightings in September of one I’d only seen before in 2013 a Silver-spotted Skipper and eventually finally seeing a Clouded Yellow for the first time since 2016 and on 42 2018 was cemented as then my highest ever butterfly year list and most extraordinary butterfly year.

2019 surpassed 2018 and I always call it my greatest butterfly season but it was actually my greatest butterfly year with extraordinary amounts and a lot of species seen in very hot patches of especially February and a bit of March too with the sun shining so much a top start. Then despite a wet late spring a little through that time and the summer I saw all the ones I usually would. An unexpected Knepp trip last summer on our own for me without the safari brought us Purple Emperor again and White-letter Hairstreak views to mean I could match 2018′s total. What also helped were sightings throughout the year of two more new ones for me Lulworth Skipper at Durlson in Dorset a great southern specialty and a northern one a Northern Brown Argus at St. Abb’s Head, Scotland during our seabird holiday last year to Northumberland. I also caught up with another slightly forgotten one when I saw my first Small Pearl-bordered Fritillary since 2014 where it was a life tick at the same place at Bentley Wood. This allowed me to see 45 species in the end last year beating 2018 by three, and there was only one species I didn’t see last year that I have seen in my life the Glanville Fritillary. I took the ninth picture in this photoset of always one of the stars the Duke of Burgundy last year at Noar Hill.

From 2018 and especially 2019 leading into 2020 I got more interested in dragon and damselflies recognising and photographing many more species. Our discovery of Thursley Common in Surrey allowed us to see new species my last two dragon and damsel year lists have been my highest ever and have historic dragonfly days for us with so many seen as well as one at Rutland Water’s Lyndon reserve last year. For moths alongside the stack of day-flying ones I see each year which grows a bit as to what I recognise I have started to notice some coming in our house at nights and taking pictures of them and mostly using other’s kind knowledge find out what they are and add them to my moth list so its only a life list I keep of them now within my insect and mammal life list document separate to my bird year list one. Its still something of a side interest I don’t know what it is and photograph every moth I see but its nice to enjoy them now and again.

Then we get to 2020 which started a bit like 2018 with one butterfly seen in February then bad weather. But as spring was springing and common/early butterflies were all around the coronavirus hit the UK and the obvious need for lockdown looked set to threaten our year for butterflies and like it may be a dip. But with a new macro lens for me in tow I got it for my birthday this year producing butterfly shots I was so proud of I made the best of it. In fact, on daily exercise walks over Lakeside in the first bit of the lockdown and other local ones seeing butterflies alongside other wildlife became a strong source of hope and optimism for me and a brilliant way to escape the doom and gloom seeing these insects I adore with the moths and dragon/damselflies too. I discovered for butterflies I could see so many at local Lakeside and other areas such as the Small Copper in the final picture in this photoset taken in May species I would usually see further afield. I wrote this post on late May bank holiday Monday and timed it to go out but once restrictions eased a little we were able to safely whilst following social distancing rules get back out to other butterfly sites further afield for us where we’d usually go and my numbers we saw of species this year haven’t suffered greatly. In fact alongside the sense lockdown brought me of how much spectacular stuff I can see on my doorstep I saw most of my butterflies this year on my earliest or second earliest date ever so that’s been an interesting little quirk.

Thanks for all the appreciation you have ever shown my butterfly and other insect photos and thoughts. Here’s to the next 10 years!

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