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#im just so angry and sad again idk i just wish i was dead.... i just want to break things so bad.....
meganwasbored · 9 months
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The Dragon Prince Thoughts Season 3 Episodes 7 and 8
btw i just wanted to say that yes i am aware that if a character i even remotely dislike comes on screen i usually tell them to go die and put it in writing for all the internet to see and yes i’m aware that that’s very excessive but keep in mind i usually write these after 1 in the morning and you do not want to make me angry after 1 in the morning
Episode 7
-claudia already what the heck
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-idc if he has the best and biggest redemption arc ever viren will always be dead to me just for treating soren like that like it’s not even funny
-“i wish for humanity to flourish” i’m still a little confused what his intentions actually are because that could be true but it doesn’t excuse the fact that he wanted to KILL ezran and callum just so he could be king, like he wants Katolis to thrive but only on his terms
-i have a feeling this is gonna go terribly wrong
-callum sweetie i love you but i think the last thing the dragon queen is concerned about is your relationship status
-“if you allow us to pass, we have no trouble with you” OR they can just burn you to a crisp right now and never have to deal with you again
-why can’t y’all just kill him and spare yourselves the trouble
-how does the 9 year old have the best stamina out of the three of them
-“it will only remove the parts of you that have been touched by dark magic” oh so he’s a goner
-WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK
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-IF WE NEVER FIND OUT WHAT HE WHISPERED TO HER IM GONNA LOSE IT I ALREADY HAVE SO MANY UNANSWERED QUESTIONS
-DRAGONDRAGONDRAGON
-oh this is THE dragon
-huh
-inoculate - immunize (someone) against a disease by introducing infective material, microorganisms, or vaccine into the body
the more you know
-OH OF COURSE SOREN IS YOUR LAB RAT
-SOREN IM SO PROUD OF YOU
-Kasef constantly trying to pull focus dude open your freaking eyes there is a ZOMBIE standing next to you have some common sense
-he turned into… the hulk??
-i almost hope he doesn’t turn back random grunts are a lot less annoying than what’s usually coming out of his mouth
-if you think that changed anyone’s minds you are very wrong i’m pretty sure that had the opposite effect
-NEW SPELL UNLOCKED LETS GOOOO
-“hey that isn’t part of the spell” ezran buddy they’ve been holding hands since you got here time to put two and two together
-yet again i want to make it clear that whatever terrible things claudia ends up doing i blame viren for 100% of it this angel is just a little lost
-dude literally just turned thousands of people into demons against their will
Episode 8
-“she is not dead. she lives and breathes, but she is not with us” is no one gonna question what the heck this is supposed to mean
-also this dude is completely unfazed seeing two humans and the living dragon prince standing in front of him
-can they please stop making zym whimper like a lost puppy my heart can only break so many times
-EZRAN IS GETTING HIS THOUSANDTH HTTYD MOMENT AND IM HERE FOR IT
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-I don’t know whether to be happy or sad
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-“is this… the afterlife?”
“no it’s still just… the life… still, you’re alive”
idk why but that sent me
-so you’re telling me that most skywing elves can’t fly??? literally what’s the point then???
-also this means nyx is super special and could be doing real important things but instead she chooses mischief
-he’s looking at him as if that is not an extremely reasonable doubt to have
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-how does callum knowing magic put him in any more danger than they were already in, if anything it’s good that he has a way to defend himself
-how is leaving gonna fix anything is no one thinking this through you’d be just as bad a rayla’s parents there’s no way she’s gonna go for this
-told ya
-why does she have to face them by herself you’re telling me there are no armies in xadia that can help
-girl stop being dramatic you know there’s no way he’s leaving you here
-this fight just makes her leaving hurt so much more because it’s basically the same thing
-how many elves were there guarding the egg originally because all of them against one man seems like a fair shot, granted that man is an evil powerful mage, but still
-poor soren is banished to the corner just let him be part of meeting time
-not even gonna question how Amaya knew where they were or how ibis even found her i’m just gonna be grateful
-i’m lazy can someone please translate what amaya just signed
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-CRYING
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-hold up why is this dude not a demon, and again who even is this dude
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rhyglizzy · 2 years
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deactivated my spam on ig so i have nowhere else to post about the fact that i am once again back to genuinely considering kms every single day!!! i mean i wouldn’t have posted that on my spam anyway bc no one cares and when i try to have a one on one convo about anything even remotely related to that people shut down and treat me weird so tumblr has been my only place to say anything like that anyway bc at least i know for sure it’s being ignored bc it’s here and not bc no one cares!! even if that’s the reality lol isn’t that funny. like i intentionally post it here bc i know it’ll result in the same response either way, but to save myself the humiliation of being ignored dismissed or judged i post it on a platform none of my friends use. its 10:52 pm i have to get up to get ready for work at 4:30 but i can’t sleep rn and i genuinely just want to die like i dont wanna lose my job from being in a psych ward but i also don’t wanna continue to force a positive mindset like i can act like im ok with my below average life and the fact that im too stupid n incompetent and lazy to do or have anything more but the reality is i hate that any myself and i wish i hadn’t chickened out 3 years ago and called my mom maybe i could’ve been dead for 3 years at this point that would’ve been cool instead of wasting so much time and energy pretending i could make something of myself lolll so fucking dumb i hate it here and idk if numbness is the right word to describe the feeling but i can’t cry ever when it comes to this stuff like im more angry than anything. i get sad when i think about stuff that has to do with my role in other ppls lives but when its just about ne i can only feel anger at who i am and what i do and don’t do
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mobdaddykarkat · 6 years
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hm
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supernatural-reacts · 3 years
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Season 15 episode 9
- this episode is called “The Trap” and I am very excited about it
- I expected Jack to be alive by now and I’m sad that he’s still dead
- I’m obviously sad that Sam and Eileen got kidnapped by Chuck but I’m happy that Eileen is here
- oh nooo no torture please
- YES EILEEN THAT WAS SMART
- “just stop being so stupid.” CAS ACTUALLY STANDING UP TO DEAN YEAH
- I know they should go to purgatory and Cas is right but I also wish they would save Sam first
- “I’d call it pathetic.” EILEEN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
- OH I DONT LIKE THAT
- “maybe we’ll run into Benny, he’s probably king of this place by now.” 🥺
- I agree with Cas splitting up is never a good idea
- “no Dean my sense of direction is excellent, that’s a different corpse.” ANNOYED BOYFRIEND
- DEAN LOOKING FOR BENNY IM GONNA CRY
- “where is he?” “Dead.” WAIT NO 😭
- I KNOW THATS NOT REAL AND CLAIRE ISNT DEAD BUT THAT HURT
- “I carry that guilt every day.” POOR CAS
- “I left but you didn’t stop me.” OH THERE IT IS FRICK OW
- “if Cas was still here he could have healed them.” “Yeah well he’s not.” OH SHIT
- ooo an angel trap. I mean obviously this is bad but
- oh yeah I forgot Eve existed
- OH NO WHERES CAS
- these futures are very interesting but like,, are they really worse than what actually happens in the finale?
- “ever since the mark made Cas go crazy, every since I had to bury him, in a ma’lak box, ever since then?!” HOLY FUCK THAT HURT ALSO I HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS
- “and after Eileen so do you.” THIS IS SO PAINFUL WHAT THE HELL
- “the Dean who raised me” AAAAAA
- *chanting* prayer scene prayer scene prayer scene prayer scene
- HERE WE GO AND YES IM GONNA TYPE THE WHOLE THING OUT
- “Cas I hope you can hear me. That wherever you are it’s not too late. I should have stopped you. You’re my best friend but I just let you go. Cause that was easier than admitting I was wrong.”
- I AM OBSESSED WITH THE IMPLICATIONS OF DEAN ACTUALLY KNEELING FOR THIS (to look up is to be vulnerable etc)
- “I don’t know why I get so angry. I just know that it- that it’s just always been there. And when things go bad it just- it comes out. And I can’t stop it. No matter how- how bad I want to I just can’t stop it. And I forgive you, of course I forgive you. I’m sorry it took me so long- I’m sorry it took me until now to say it. Cas I’m so sorry. Man I hope you can hear me.”
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JESUS CHRIST THAT WAS A LOT ALSO IM CRYING
- so you’re telling me in Chuck’s probably made up future Dean dies by fighting vampires right? gOoD tHiNg ThAt DiDnT hApPeN- OH WAIT
- OH YAY CAS
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aAaAaaAaAAAaA
- “it got a little smushed.”
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HIS FACE I- THIS MAN IS SO IN LOVE
- “Cas, I need to say something.” “You don’t need to say it. I heard your prayer.” Lots to unpack there
- wait what?? They’re vampires in this future?? Oh damn
- “I want better for you both.” I don’t know how to feel about the finale in relation to this but. Yeah idk
- “Dean you’ve already taken the mark you can’t take it again. I can, it’s the only way.” WAIT WHAT DID I MISS SOMETHING?? CAS IS TAKING THE MARK?
- so Chuck’s been keeping the monsters at bay?
- I mean honestly I wouldn’t break it either but I feel like Dean’s gonna be mad about this and I’m not looking forward to that
- “Sammy lost hope and now I’m free.” OH NO
- “they were memories. My memories. Other Sams and other Deans in different worlds.” OOOO THATS KINDA COOL
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- “I know that was real.” AAAAAAAA OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM
- “I believed him, I still do.” “Well that’s good enough for me.” Is that character development I see? Good job Dean!
- “Chuck’s gone but-” “-he’ll be back.” DEAN FINISHING CAS’S SENTENCE I
- JACK!!! I MISS HIM
- OH YEAH AND BILLIE!!
- that was... ✨A Lot✨
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100 questions and answers
Who is your hero? Probably future me, i want to be able to grow up and be the better person that i hope they are, and the only way of knowing that is by making it happen.
If you could live anywhere, where would it be? New Zealand, Canada or USA. I lived in TX for 3 months and loved it there and I have family in NZ and Canada.
What is your biggest fear? Wasps, 100%. Not being stung but the way they look scares me.
What is your favorite family vacation? When we went to Krakow in Poland.
What would you change about yourself if you could? My skin color. I hate it so much.
What really makes you angry? People hating others or stopping others from being themselves.
What motivates you to work hard? To make future me happier than I am now.
What is your favorite thing about your career? I want to be in cabin crew, so probably the traveling.
What is your biggest complaint about your job? Being away from family.
What is your proudest accomplishment? Getting through the shit 2020 brought me without killing myself.
What is your child's proudest accomplishment? No kids rn.
What is your favorite book to read? Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman
What makes you laugh the most? My boyfriend.
What was the last movie you went to? What did you think? Freaks. I was a bad movie, a little like the scary movies franchise. My friend was scared at parts which was super funny to watch
What did you want to be when you were small? An actor. Typical Leo ;)
What does your child want to be when he/she grows up? They can be anything they want to be.
If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be? Visit Edinburgh alone.
What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play? To watch, American Football. To play, archery.
Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car? Drive a car, it's peaceful and warm. I would blast music.
What would you sing at Karaoke night? no idea.
What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most? Heart and Capital
Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house? Dishes or vacuum.
If you could hire someone to help you, would it be with cleaning, cooking, or yard work? Yard work!!!
If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Tandoori Prawn curry.
Who is your favorite author? Jacqueline Wilson or JK Rowling (only her books, not her)
Have you ever had a nickname? What is it? Just Em. But id like to be called Millie.
Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not? Depends on the surprise tbh, I like to plan a lot.
In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read? Watch a movie.
Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why? Hawaii. I was meant to go this year but covid and leaving the US fucked it up.
Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why? Work the perfect job, id get bored sitting around all day.
Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island? my boyfriend.
If money was no object, what would you do all day? Travel and see the world.
If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to? 2012. To see my Nana again.
How would your friends describe you? Stupid.
What are your hobbies? Traveling, photography, music and shopping.
What is the best gift you have been given? Forgiveness from myself.
What is the worst gift you have received? Sixe XXL jacket when im an XS
Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? My macbook.
List two pet peeves. - Breaking trust - Bad table manners
Where do you see yourself in five years? Hopefully working my dream job, maybe moved to a different country and traveling the world.
How many pairs of shoes do you own? too many, roughly 16
If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? Invisibility or teleportation.
What would you do if you won the lottery? build my own house
What form of public transportation do you prefer? (air, boat, train, bus, car, etc.) Train, its so relaxing. Then planes.
What's your favorite zoo animal? Lions or tigers.
If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be? My time in America.
If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be? - My nana - my bf - Princess Diana - Obama
How many pillows do you sleep with? 4, two on each side.
What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)? 26 hours, traveling to Texarkana from Edinburgh.
What's the tallest building you've been to the top in? Idk tbh
Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence? looks for intelligence because then you can earn enough for plastic surgery.
How often do you buy clothes? 1/2 a month
Have you ever had a secret admirer? Idk I guess so.
What's your favorite holiday? Summer vacation Christmas for an actual holiday
What's the most daring thing you've ever done? Moved half way across the world and lived with strangers.
What was the last thing you recorded on TV? Nothing
What was the last book you read? 1984
What's your favorite type of foreign food? Indian
Are you a clean or messy person? Both, but relatively clean
Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life? Millie Bobbie Brown probably
How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 1 hour
What kitchen appliance do you use every day? Kettle
What's your favorite fast food chain? Chick fil A (i know, i cant buy it now tho)
What's your favorite family recipe? Nana's bacon and egg pie
Do you love or hate rollercoasters? LOVE
What's your favorite family tradition? Opening gifts on Christmas Eve
What is your favorite childhood memory? I dunno really, Ive forgotten a lot of my childhood.
What's your favorite movie? Ferris Bueller's Day Off or Beautiful Boy
How old were you when you learned Santa wasn't real? How did you find out? Probably 7/8 but I dont remember.
Is your glass half full or half empty? Half empty.
What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love? Said i'd come back one day.
What three items would you take with you on a deserted island? A boat and food. Yes i am that person.
What was your favorite subject in school? Scottish school, geography. US school, government.
What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? Haggis
Do you collect anything? Foreign coins
Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion? Skinny jeans, my ass looks gooood in them
Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert that likes being sociable
Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest? hearing
Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise) nope
Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous? my dad is well know in the whisky business. Has his own prime tv show
What do you do to keep fit? Walk a lot and swim.
Does your family have a “motto” – spoken or unspoken? nope
If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce? everyone is equal.
Who was your favorite teacher in school and why? Scottish School, my geo teacher. US school, my english teacher.
What three things do you think of the most each day? My bf, my mum and America
If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Sad, angry and anxious
What song would you say best sums you up? 17 again
What celebrity would you like to meet at Starbucks for a cup of coffee? Timothee Chalamet or Tom Holland
Who was your first crush? a boy called Finlay who i rode the bus with
What's the most interesting thing you can see out of your office or kitchen window? sheep or cows very often
On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are? 5
Where do you see yourself in 10 years? kids, married, settled down and happy. moved countries 100%
What was your first job? never had one
If you could join any past or current music group which would you want to join? 5sos
How many languages do you speak? 1 - english
What is your favorite family holiday tradition? opening gifts on Christmas Eve
Who is the most intelligent person you know? my mum
If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be? a cat probably or a tiger
What is one thing you will never do again? trust people fully
Who knows you the best? my bf.
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your-highnessmarvel · 4 years
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For Better or For Worse
Requested by Anonymous: Now we ALL know Chris wants kids. If you don’t know that you’re not a real fan. But what about a fic where the reader can’t have kids and she wants to break up with Chris because she thinks that’s what’s best for him?
AN: ok this is like... really angsty and i got carried away in it and idk... im kinda sad today. on another note! i got a B+ on an essay exam i thought i canned so yay
Warnings: angst, language
*gif not mine
Enjoyed this and want more? Send in your requests!
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MASTERLIST
You reread the text message again.
Hey baby. Sorry for not being able to make it today with you. I am hopeful! Let me know as soon as you get out! <3
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Your left knee bounced. Your stomach twisted. The TV in the left corner of the room buzzed some news about COVID-19, but you couldn’t care less. A stranger next to you shuffled his feet and it was so loud. It resonated in your skull, climbing down your spine. 
“Y/N?”
Your head snapped up. The doctor stood with a smile on her face, dossier in hand, door open behind her. 
“Yes,” you said. 
“Come with me.”
You followed her through the door, the back of her white lab coat stark. It felt like you were following her to your doom; to the pits of hell and beyond. Your heart raced as you passed through the familiar doors and sat on the same leather chair as before. 
But last time you were with Chris. Last time, he was here, holding your hand, as nervous as you were. 
“Okay, Y/N, how are we doing today?” the doctor asked, sitting directly in front of you. You had a queasy feeling, watching her sparkling white smile and her vivid eyes. 
Did she have good news?
“Nervous,” you admitted. Your mouth was dry. You just wanted to know the results. 
The doctor’s face went soft and she opened the dossier, revealing a small stack of papers; all the tests you’d done with her. 
“It is as we feared, Y/N,” she said, hands on the table. “All the tests show that your eggs are barren. I am very sorry. I know how much having a child of your own means to you and your husband, and I know this must be terrible news. There are, however, alternatives, like adoption.”
There was a burning so intense in your chest that you feared you’d pass out. It was like someone lit a fire between your ribs and was cooking you from the inside out. Involuntary tears spilled from the edges of your eyes, gliding down your cheeks, clinging to your jaw as desperately as you’d clung to the hope of baring Chris’s children. 
Your hands balled into fists. Eyes closed. Breathing slowed. You could hear the doctor speaking, but it was as if through water. She was saying something about this process of multiple tests, all of them negative, proving that you really wanted to be a mother and that would be a plus on the adoption forms and you’d be considered a good candidate. 
You didn’t want to adopt! You wanted to conceive a child, half of you and half of Chris. To have a piece that was the both of you, together. To see if your child would have Chris’s smile or your hair or his little dimples. You wanted to see which part of your character they’d inherit. Or maybe they’d be more like Chris. 
“I...” You looked up through tear filled eyes, but only say the shape of the doctor who’d just told you you’d never have children of your own. “I’m going to go.”
“Would you like me to call your husband?” she asked, seeing your state. 
“No.”
The last thing you needed was to tell Chris right now. He’d been so hopeful that this final test, this final and last try would be a miracle. Even if it was just one child, one would be enough, one would be your saving grace. 
He’d hate you. Of course he would. With time. There is not a thing in the world Chris wanted more than children. Little boys and girls running around, playing hide-and-seek. Teaching his daughter to drive. Teaching his son to cope with his feelings in a healthy way. Showing his kids the aquarium. Snow fights. Autumn leaf piles. Swings. Sand boxes.
He’d resent you. Of course he would. With time. He’d find a way to leave you because he couldn’t stand to know his biggest wish was dead. He’d marry someone else, someone fertile, someone able to give him a piece of himself fused with a woman he loved. 
He’d forget you. Of course he would. With time. After his children would be born and they would grow up in front of his eyes, he’d forget the woman with a rotten womb and empty ovaries. 
You hadn’t noticed, but you’d somehow managed to walk out of the office, down the stairs, and out into the parking. The sun was out, high, hot. Sweat formed on your forehead, in the palm of your hands, behind your knees. 
You had a sudden, harsh thought. You knew exactly what to do. 
You texted Chris to call you when he had the time. You got into your car, like a ghost, like a phantom, and sat there holding the wheel. It was warm and hard, the heat of the summer cooking up the car. You looked in the rearview, at the empty backseat. There would never be a little one sitting there, in a baby seat or as a kid or as a teenager with their friends. 
There would never be.
The phone rang. 
“Hello.”
“Hey, babe, how did it go?” There was so much hope in his voice; the ring of his tone and the cracking. He had so much hope and you were about to squash it between your fingers like ants. 
“Where are you?” You tried to sound normal, neutral, but there were still tears drying on your cheeks. 
“Is everything alright?”
“Chris, where are you?” Now, you sounded angry, impatient, and you hated it, hated the way you were talking to him. He didn’t deserve it. 
He gave you the place he was at. “It’s a set so come by the back gate and I’ll be waiting there, okay?” His voice was harsher, less hopeful, and there was a hint of knowing. Knowing exactly what you were coming to say. 
You drove there in silence. No music. No humming. Catatonic. Your mind was blank, the roads busy, the streetlights bright, your thoughts a mess. There was an ache in your stomach, deep and hurting, as if you’d been cut open from sternum to belly button, and the wound was festering. 
You were minutes away from ending the most beautiful part of your life. 
You parked awkwardly on a curb but who cares. The little walk from your car to the gate was hard, your knees trembling, feet numb. Chris was waiting at the gate to let you in, a wary look tearing his features apart. 
As soon as you were through, he put his arm around your shoulders and kissed your forehead. “Y/N,” he mumbled. “Are you okay?”
He smelled so familiar and felt like an anchor. It was an instinct to lean in, forehead against the crook of his shoulder. It was all so familiar. The glint of the ring on his finger. The smell of the detergent he used at home, the one you washed all your clothes in. 
“Can we talk in private?”
His eyes slid down to the ground, a tick in his jaw. He knew. But he didn’t know all. “Oh, baby,” he murmured, but pulled you along to his trailer. 
Inside, it smelled like his cologne. There were a few dirty dishes in the sink and you smiled because Chris never liked to wash his dishes and you were always the one picking up after him. He liked to vacuum though, and it showed in the pristine floors and sparkling shelves that he’d dusted. 
He grabbed your hand and led you to the couch. He sat beside you, shoulders turned to you, eyes searching your face. He saw the dried tears. The trembling lower lip. 
“It was negative?” he asked lowly, running his fingers over your knuckles. 
“Yeah.” You bit your lip. “Again.” 
He sighed and leaned his head on your shoulder. There was a moment of silence where you just stared at the blank TV screen, listening to Chris breathing against you. 
“We’ll find another way,” he said, lifting his head. “We’ll go through another round of IV.”
You shook your head. “The doctor said I’m barren, Chris,” you said, fighting tears. “There is literally nothing we can do anymore.”
He grabbed your hand with both of his. “Adoption.” He said it as if it was a miracle cure. 
“No, Chris, I want a child of our own.” You bit your lip, tears fighting to slip from your lashes. “A little girl with blue eyes or a little boy who is as stubborn as me.” And this time, you did cry. And you saw just how hard Chris was fighting his own. 
“It’s alright, baby, hey.” He took your head in his arms, bringing you against the safety of his stern chest. 
You let yourself sob against him, wetting his sweater, grasping onto his shoulder. He rubbed his hand up and down your back. He set his wet cheek against the top of your head. 
Hiccuping, you pulled away from him, wringing your hands. “Chris, I... I’m...” you trailed off, raking a hand through your hair. “I’m gonna... go live with my mom for a bit.”
He frowned deeply, suddenly changing from sad to confused in a matter of milliseconds. 
“No, Y/N, no, no, why?” He leaned in, looking at you deeply, blue eyes searching yours. He held onto your hand so tightly it almost hurt. 
“Chris, you don’t deserve this,” you said, sniffling. “I’m never going to give you a little girl to teach her how to drive or a boy to go to shows with. We’re never gonna have babies in the bed with us in the morning. We’re never going to watch little league games. Daycare. Potty training.”
He stood, thumb to his lips. He was angry, tension roiling in his muscles. “I can’t believe it,” he growled behind clenched teeth. “I can’t believe you’d think I wouldn’t want you because you can’t have biological children with me. Do you think I only want you for that? You’re not a machine, Y/N. You’re not broken. You’re my wife. I pledged to love you for better or for worse. We will work through this. I promise you.”
He knelt before you, eyes wide and glistening with unshed tears. He grabbed your hand, held it to his heart, looking up at you imploringly. “Don’t ever think that. Ever.” He reached up to wipe a tear from your cheek. “I’m not going anywhere. Yes, I want kids. But I want you, more than anything. We’ll get a dog. Or a cat. Or both. But I’m not separating from you, okay?”
There was a hole in your chest, and it was aching, and it was healing, and you wanted to cry from joy and fear and powerlessness. “Oh, Chris.”
“No,” he said, lip trembling, tear rolling from the corner of his cheek. “No. Don’t leave me. Don’t. We will work it out.”
You leaned in, kissed his cheek, where the tear was settling, tasted the salt of it. “Okay.”
He sighed of relief, embracing you softly. He pressed his cheek against yours. He was shaking like a leaf. “I love you, and I want you to remember that forever,” he whispered. “I won’t let you go for anything in the world.”
You nodded against his shoulder. “I love you too, Chris.” 
He pressed his thumb against the ring on your finger. The ring he’d given to you on the day of your wedding, where he’d vowed to love you forever and always. Where he’d kissed you in front of both of your families. Where he’d tied himself to you in the holiest of ways, binding you to him and to his care, and vice versa.
He was remembering you, remembering himself, the reason why that ring was on your finger. For better or for worse. And this was the worse, but you’d live it together. You’d overcome it together. No matter what.
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chatonyant · 4 years
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im just so sad about this funky crow ninja
Listen
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Itachi is just
Such a tragic character and it makes me so sad
Like he's a pacifist at heart but he was forced to be the literal opposite at such a young age and I'm just so sAD ABOUT IT
(Under cut cause it’s long and it’s about the uchiha massacre if yall would rather not read bout that But it also has some soft ideas down at the way bottom if yall wanna just speed scroll to the bottom)
How he came to the choice he made regarding the Uchiha massacre totally makes sense to me. It wasn't a good decision, it wasn't a decision best suited for the situation, but it made sense. And it gets worse once you realize that he was 13. Thirteen. No wonder he couldn't find/use a third option. He's still a child, even in this world of child soldiers. He bloodied his hands and wore a mask so that the home he loved and the brother he adored could be safe.
I wish his story could've been written... better, for a lack of proper words. Maybe that is the right word. But I want to see him do more for Konoha. He became a missing nin for Konoha to spy on Akatsuki/Madara but we don't see the results of that. What information does Konoha get from him? Because we know that he's still loyal to Konoha after all this time. Did he do anything to slow Akatsuki down? Did he do things to benefit Konoha or stop something from badly impacting it? What did he do?
And then he dIES AND HE JUST DOESNT GET A BREAK AND IM HHHHH :((((((
And he was sick and going blind too!!!! I swear he was the universe's punching bag (though one of many cause the naruto universe just Be Like That)
Fuck ok I came on here to ramble about Itachi in my au but then got sad sO AU TIME NOW
For one I want to make him.... more sympathetic? A redemption works best when its shown from the start that there is more than meets the eye. Like Zuko, for example. He was a jerk, but there are moments where it's clear that he's not as much of a jerk as he could have been. And I wanted to do something similar with Itachi (and a couple other villains tbh but it's also a matter of "Should you survive" coughObitocough I love you but idk if you survive in this au or not but I have ideas nonetheless but that is for a later time)
Anyways, morally grey but more clearly Itachi
Honestly I've got more ideas for his ending than the beginning. Which is... very annoying. This is unfortunately the case for many... many of my ideas....
An idea I've been juggling with is Itachi not killing everyone. He definitely kills everyone who's activated their sharingan and anyone who is/was a shinobi. So everyone who's not a civilian. So,,, the survivors are very very little and are civilian mothers and civilian children too young to even attend the academy and like the occasional shop owners. The massacre was to stop the coup and prevent it from ever happening, so those who have the power to set forward this coup are any shinobi. And unfortunately, the Uchiha clan is an old shinobi clan.
Itachi is not a blank mask and does cry when he kills his parents and they leave their parting words. He's 13, forced to commit a crime that goes against his every wish, moral, and beliefs. Plus I believe the Uchiha are naturally every emotional- or at least feels it more intensely than others. Their whole defining ability has to do with emotions. They feel Very Strongly.
And thus by "cry" I mean he cries a lot. He almost has a breakdown right then and there when little baby Sasuke crashes in and see his crying older brother holding a bloody blade over his two very dead parents. 
For someone willing(ish) to murder a(lmost) a whole clan for the sake of his little brother, Itachi sure does directly hurt Sasuke a lot. Like genjutsu torture? Placing responsibility of avenging a whole clan on his tiny, angry shoulders? Oof, Itachi, bad ideas. 
So Itachi wants Sasuke to be safe. To be happy to the best of his ability. So instead, he uses a milder form of Tsukuyomi to place a suggestion in his baby mind that Itachi was in fact a cold hearted murderer. But the human mind is a strange thing that is difficult to understand, so for years Sasuke has nightmares of that night with his perception of Itachi varying wildly between a stone cold face and a tear-stained one. 
Itachi doesn’t do the whole “hate me and kill me for vengeance” because, again, he wants Sasuke to be safe and happy. Considering that he lives in a shinobi village and just had a highly traumatic experience, both are hard to come by, but the least Itachi can do is not have Sasuke’s whole life be overcome by hatred. Curse of Hatred is a very real thing, Itachi. I know you want Sasuke to have a goal to drive him forward and not waste away but bad idea Itachi. Maybe he says something else. Maybe he tells Sasuke to get stronger (but not in a “so you can get revenge” kind of way). I don’t know. But he doesn’t quite plant the idea of vengeance in his mind, so Sasuke’s motivation and drive ends up differently. Butterfly effects oho Also since Sasuke unlocked his sharingan during the massacre... is it possible to activate mangekyo as well? Cause he loves Itachi most, yes, but he also loved his parents, his mom especially. Would that be enough? Wiki says “death of someone close to the user”, so it’s possible, I think.
So many ideas about the massacre holy shit
Like Shisui. I’d totally love to make him live but frankly, I’ve got no idea how. :”D sorry Shisui, you’ll have to stay dead until I can find a solid reasoning as to how you survived and why
As for Madara/Tobi, well in anime he went after the Police headquarters while Itachi went after everyone else so there’s that, not much to change there
Then there’s a whole bunch of aftermath hijinks
Itachi is said to have aided Konoha within Akatsuki, but it’s not very clearly shown. Considering how we aren’t shown what exactly he passed on, that will be uh.... perhaps expanded on later. 
Sasuke and Itachi interactions before Shippuden would be different due to Sasuke’s own differences, but those differences haven’t be set yet so that will be explained later.
Ok, now the whole Itachi dying and being reincarnated shebang. Fourth War sure is wild as fuck. “Let’s mass reincarnate people!” what.
I don’t want Itachi to die. I want to let him rest. But not in death. 
So the general idea I have for the “end” of the story is:
He becomes legally blind. Not completely blind, but very close. His chakra coils are fucked and his sharingan are stuck in a way that he can kinda see chakra but very vaguely. 
His illness isn’t completely healed, but it’s much better than before; Sakura and Tsunade are legendary at what they do
He returns home to Konoha. Not sure how he will be accepted into the village but I was thinking the village makes a half-lie half-truth story pinning the blame on Danzo (Cause when in doubt, blame Danzo. Or Zetsu. But Zetsu isn’t blamable here)
He may not be imprisoned, but he isn’t free to roam. He’s monitored and has a (temporary?) seal placed on him limiting his use of chakra.
Itachi is surprisingly ok with all of this. He gets to retire from a shinobi life and he’s unraveled the story to Sasuke and was gifted a form of forgiveness. Life’s chill.
He works at the Yamanaka flower shop. It’s calming, peaceful, and it’s run by Yamanaka, powerful shinobi and also knowledgeable on psychology.
His crows are now seeing eye crows. They sit on either his shoulders or head and squawk whenever Itachi is too close to bumping into something. Sasuke very much enjoys when the crows are on Itachi’s head because when he tosses little treats at the birds, sometimes they land in Itachi’s hair.
It’s very hard for the shinobi to fear this honestly tiny man (because Itachi is small, fight me) who’s humming while watering plants with a bird on top of his head while the various heroes of Konoha take turns tossing treats at the bird like it’s a dog. 
“Nii-san. Nii-san stop squishing my cheeks.” “But Sasuke I want to see your face.” “Nii-san-”
oh my god so much brain power used on the massacre just so i could make itachi have a very domestic ending
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macklives · 4 years
Text
session 92 end (bye 413...)
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this session was so long but so fucking hectic what the fuck
im going to try and slim it down to its bare essentials rather than go on a full rant because im pretty sure i want to make a post later on about vriska’s characterisation (not anything about me liking her/disliking her, just an analyse on her life really, so it wont be too bias because thats not the point of an analysis. i also want to do one on aradia, been meaning to for a while... hmm... damn i havent done much analogies lately, and i THINK the last long post on a character i made was about davesprite??? so its been a fucking while. that being said, ill leave a lot of details out for this end of session notes so i dont just repeat myself later on. rather will keep to plot points here and then make character points in another)
alright
first we had a page or two where aradia confided in nepeta about her being dead which means nepeta is the only one to know this revelation. im pretty sure aradia confided because there was no other way around it, since nepeta was her server player, so it was inevitable. either way, aradia still put her trust in nep, which means, if you think about it, nobody else knows and nobody else ever will. and considering aradia asked nep to keep it a secret, it probably wont get explored by others until MAYBE later on, whenever its plot relevant, so everyone will be in the dark about it for a while which ill have to remember for future dialogue and scenes with aradia in them
then we met vriska
which, yes, is a meme. i may not have been on a lot of fandom platforms, but you cant escape some of the stuff that goes around the internet. even if you dont know undertale, im pretty sure you know of sans. or komaeda if you have/havent seen danganronpa. its just.. the memes, ya know? ive heard from many sources of the “vriska did nothing wrong” quote (even through mbmbam which??? WHAT) but since i didnt even know what it meant, i never explored it so then i never knew it was a homestuck thing. imagine my surprise...... i think even at the time, i wouldnt have known what homestuck was either honestly so it wouldnt even matter. i only recently learned about the fandom.... uhh, maybe half a year ago??? yeah, august, so my knowledge was slim but vriska is a thing ive heard before, which still shocks me
goddammit
anyways back to her
so her intro was something, we pretty much found out she likes DnD (a FANATIC in fact) and feeds her lusus the flesh of living trolls. which is fucked up. but i wont get too much into detail about that until i make a post about her life on alternia and the consequences of such. or maybe just alternia in general...?? or *both* heheheh but i feel i need more information before i go off on a tangent about that
then we met??? white text dude?? who is a major asshole but an asshole with insults that hURted, to think i felt bad for VRISKA when that happened. woah.
i said before, but... karkat, he cant really hit deep because his insults are just HIM and his way to express himself. like some people find it natural to just go “FUCK YOU” to show emphasis on a point, and thats just karkats way. he may do it so aggressively that it takes you a second to realize what he said, but usually i dont take anything to heart whenever he spurts out some insults. ive progressed to the point where whatever he says, is just “karkat” and not him trying to be actively mean. rather, its now funny whenever he does say anything SOMEWHAT creative, dude has an imagination that goes on for miles
but vriska?? she IS trying to be a bully, you can tell. but i feel theres something much more to that. like shes trying to prove herself and her “blueblooded” demeanours or whatever the hierarchy is. she doesnt want to show emotions so she makes herself a barrier by being mean is what i can gather from her conversation with kanaya. im pretty sure youre not supposed to understand her until its pointed out and rather see her as an “antagonist” at first, but yeah, her insults are more pitiful than anything and i also cant take her too seriously. i may not like her as a person but her character is interesting because you cant always have the goodie two shoes as the protags. it doesnt diversify the characterisation so i like vriska as someone who makes the plot work and it becomes more interesting since you have someone that makes it harder for the main crew to progress. a happy-go-lucky adventure with no trouble and no turnabouts would be boring in a way. so having a character like vriska, or like this new white text guy, it makes you stop for a second and realize oh shit okay, here’s where shit CAN go wrong and WHY. and i do especially like it when these bastards of characters somehow have more depth than being the “bastard characters”. kinda humanizes them in a way. doesnt mean you have to LIKE them continuously, but theyre humans (trolls whatever) in the end and every person has their own story whether its for better or for worse
for example, i like her being placed into the story, along with white text, by how its all leading to this “accident” and is slowly showing us hints on what happened, but in the end, it wont be until later that we know the full story. even if it was in the past, it apparently is very vital to the plot and shapes how the characters act in the future, so important aspects like that are to look out for. and usually they only occur when theres been some trouble within friend dynamics. so without these bastard of characters, plot wouldnt grow AS strong and i often keep that in mind when i explore a story.
anyways, I HAD A POINT TO THIS: so vriska and karkat are characters who are yes, mean, but it seems to be their personality, and the way they either show emotions and convey feelings (karkat) or make a barrier so they DONT show emotions to produce vulnerability (vriska), white text guy seems to mostly be out to be an asshole. he told vriska she was useless to sum it up but im not too sure if this is one of those “first dialogue” to mould out a bias opinion before we even get to the character themselves, but judging by how vriska and karkat played out, he surely means something bad and i dont know how to explain it. but i cannot base anything off from one piece of dialogue. i dont even know what else to call him other than white text guy so...... ill just leave that out for now, until we finally get his introduction
though, i do wish to mention, and will expand on, im not wrong when i say karkat and vriska are similar but in different context. sorry if youre favourite is karkat and you dont like vriska, or vice versa, but uhhhh their introductions are so similar its uncanny and the way they’re portrayed is the same except one is more on crack about the meddling, while the other is angry about the meddling. similar to how it was with karkat, we were introduced to vriska talking with someone we knew (tavros) whom she obviously didnt like, so obviously, from her point of view, she wanted to be menacing. like how karkat was menacing to jade because she wouldnt listen to his point... he got angry, so he lashed out. but us, the readers, didnt know that. we thought “oh god its this asshole” until we made it further in the story and started to warm up to karkat. it may not be the same with vriska, she may be a bully regardless, but you cannot tell me we moulded a bias towards her character as we did when we first read karkat. theyre both truly mean to other people, maybe both for different reasons, but i do want to point out the similarities and not leave that out. im pretty sure andrew basically gave us a conversation that formed our opinion of a character right off the bat rather than go into depth of WHY they did it, and how they are naturally without the conditions of the game. which, you can also see with vriska when she conversed with kanaya. andrew started off with a character who only appears to speak once, and makes you judge them from first appearance alone, without any explanation as to why they said what they said and how they are with other characters, let says. so you assume they were simply a rude character. now look how karkat turned out. so im guessing in homestuck, the first impression should never be the opinion you stick with until MAYBE 5 more conversations with that character (each one different)
OKAY done with the vriska introduction, now to slutquius
yes, hes kinda weird, i have stated that many times. i have no idea what to say about him other than he likes porn, he likes centaur dick which just so happens to be his lusus as well and if that isnt a red flag idk what is
he also likes his lusus milk, right from the udders of his guardian
fun times, fun times
my opinion of equius kinda.. differs. which i should really put in place the “dont judge by first impression” rule, because at first i thought he was rude with, then i thought he was hhh okay, because i understood why he was being so protective over nepeta and her team placement, since the people she was going to play with WERE dangerous. but if you think about it, both sides will probably put you in danger. it just depends on which ones you confide in more to protect your back rather than those which would cause trouble on purpose, in my HONEST opinion. so equius was a little overdramatic on that part, but i got what he meant. he was on the blue team and he didnt want to leave nepeta alone without him on the red. but then this session happened. and he went back to being weird again because of the whole porn thing, especially being so open about it like dude chill youre 13. but the thing is, then i felt bad for him because hes basically touch starved. to say that he could break anything he touches, i doubt people would go up to him for hugs. in fear they would be crushed to death by a simple hug. so im guessing hes rather lonely and doesnt really know how to interact because of this. so i felt sad that he had to live a life where he needs to be careful of everything he touches so it doesnt break randomly. see? poor dude. but then things got weird. and im pretty sure hes a masochist. so my opinion on equius is a fucking cosine graph
which brings us to the final point:
gamzee and equius’ conversation
i dont even know.....like.........gamzee was unaware that equius was using him for his own power play roleplay, right? gamzee knew it was a roleplay but it had had some.. idk.... obvious sexual implications? and i bet gamzee didnt really know that? he thought they were only venting out through a simple roleplay and trying to get closer because he originally thought equius hated him, considering equius flat out said “i hate you” and gamzee went “you tell me everyday and im okay with that” so.. gamzee probably wanted only to get closer to equius so he helped out his little problem which.. thats so sweet but i feel bad he was coerced into something he didnt get, especially since he was innocent enough to go along without knowing equius’ true gain
anyways, equius was getting off with the hierarchy thing. considering he’s “lower” than gamzee, and gamzee is surprisingly ...high on the spectrum??? so equius wanted gamzee to boss him around, because it felt only natural to him since he’s the “inferior one” and gamzee is The Big Man. like i get that, but it was written in a way that was so uncomfortable, that i wish i didnt. equius is just a weird character... hes not BAD per say, but hes... hes something alright
but im really liking gamzee. the two things which struck me in that one conversation, was the “i dont get why we should dictate people by the colour of their blood, i just see people as people” piece of dialogue and “i cant go around pleasing just everything so its alright if you hate me”
thats... so good, idk. i really liked that. i also really liked when kanaya said “youre dangerous but dangerous people are needed and are important because it shapes you” like <33 my fucking heart
god homestuck may be a tad on the weird side with some of its characters but it surely knows how to create great lines of dialogue
and that concludes the long 4 hour session i did, hope you all enjoyed it
with that, i rest
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Text
Forever | Taehyung
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Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Female Reader
Requested: indeed it was, long longs times agos days :')
Genre: angst
Word count: 1.6k
Warnings: language, mutual break up, implied alcohol consumption, slightly drunk taetae, just sad sad times all around is all :(
a/n: so I decided to combine these two bc I felt they would work, hope you guys like it. Based on song: Forever by Lewis Capaldi, so I suggest listening to it if you haven't. idk how I feel bout this one. I think I have carpal tunnel again tho so this is the best I could do w/o dying im so sorry
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~Darling, nobody said that it would last forever.
That doesn’t mean we didn’t try to get there.
I never said that we would die together.
That doesn’t mean it was a lie.
Remember, nobody said that it would last forever.~
The morning sun filters in through the blinds, creating a line of light that sweeps across the carpet, up onto the little coffee table. The little light bounces off the coffee cup resting on the coaster; untouched. The coffee in the cup has been cold for a while now. A sigh breaks the dead silence as Taehyung stretches his arms above his head; groaning from the soreness in his muscles before he drops his arms again. He looks around the empty apartment and wills the small ache in his heart to go away.
Stop it, he chides himself and stands up to take a shower before he has to leave for dance practice.
Just move on.
You know nothing lasts forever. 
“Can you please pass the strawberries, baby?” Tae asked sleepily as he laid on the picnic blanket, his arm covering his eyes and his breaths steady and slow. You giggled when you grabbed a strawberry and set it on his lips, startling him and making him sit up.
“You scared me!” Tae laughed and grabbed you, planting a sweet kiss onto your forehead before you could squirm away.
“I love you, you little rascal.” Taehyung rubbed his nose against yours sweetly, leaving a soft peck on your lips before pulling you down to lie next to him.
*ding*
Taehyung groans and runs his hands down his face, wiping the water out of his eyes before reaching down and turning the shower off. He steps out of the glass doors and grabs his towel, wrapping it around his waist and grabbing his phone to open it and see a text message from Jimin.
Jimin: You alright? Practice started half an hour ago.
“Shit.” Tae mumbles to himself, he forgot they changed the times the other day. Gosh, he needs to get his head straight. He quickly types a reply to Jimin saying he’ll be there soon and hurries into his closet to get changed.
When Tae walks into the practice room half an hour later, he sees everyone’s eyes on him. The worst part is they all look sympathetic instead of angry at his tardiness. He wishes they’d at least scold him for being an hour late, not stare at him like he was about to burst into tears, and they’d be ready to jump and comfort when it happened.
“Sorry I’m late. I overslept and forgot we changed times.” He says after clearing his throat, hoping it’ll bring everyone back to the task at hand. Yoongi seems to sense his younger brother’s discomfort so he speaks up, “It’s fine. We were just talking about placements, nothing fun. We can get started now!” Tae nods and gives Jimin a weak smile when the other boy looks at him questioningly.
 “I got it Tae! I got the job!”
“Really?? That’s amazing baby!”
It was amazing…at the time.
But you being a doctor and him being an idol, started to weigh on both your shoulders. But you wanted to make it work.
“Maybe we could go to the movies tomorrow?” You asked quietly one night, frowning when your boyfriend didn’t look up from his phone. “Tae?” He moved his eyes away from his screen to your figure sitting next to him on the couch. You felt his hand squeeze your thigh gently, and you knew what was coming.
“I’m sorry babe, you know we can’t.”
You didn’t know why you even asked. Sometimes you wished you could just stand on the roof and scream out to the entire world that you were Kim Taehyung’s girlfriend, and you would go out with him wherever you pleased. As if being a full time doctor wasn’t taking enough of your time with him.
But, you loved him, so you never voiced out the sadness you felt in your heart whenever you saw couples walking around the streets, holding hands and giggling. You just silently wished that maybe someday that could be you too.
“Well, tomorrow is my day off and I want to hang out with you.” You pouted and messed with your fingers. Taehyung set his phone down and looked at you sadly, “Hey baby, we can still hang out. We’ll order pizza and have a movie night here. How does that sound?” You nodded and smiled, glad to at least be able to see him.
 “Taehyung! Did you hear me?”
The pretty blonde flinches and looks over at Hoseok who’s watching him in exasperation. “Uh, sorry. What did you say?”
Hoseok sighs and repeats what everyone needs to work on for the next take. Tae tries his best to do it right, move his feet like everyone else and remember all the arm movements. But he just keeps messing up. He can’t focus.
All he can think about is you. The look on your face that day, and how he wanted to stop you and tell you that he didn’t mean it and he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about anything but being with you.
But he’s not sure if you even feel the same anymore.
 “Taehyung, I think we need to talk.”
He feels his heart race at the way you say those words. He wants to tell you no, there’s nothing to talk about. Everything is fine.
But he knows that’s a lie. So, he clears his throat and nods.
You fiddle with your hands as you sit on his couch, neither of you wanting to start, neither of you really knowing what you want to say.
“I love you, Tae.”
Fuck.
He knows what’s coming.
“That’s why I think we need to stop this.”
“What are you talking about?” He whispers.
You sigh and put your head in your hands, “Don’t Tae. You’re making me feel like the bad guy here.”
“So, I’m the bad guy?”
“No! I never said that. It isn’t anyone’s fault, please stop making this harder for me.”
Tae clenches his jaw and lets you continue.
“This isn’t fair to either of us. We never see each other anymore and when we do, we always end up fighting. It isn’t healthy.”
He knows what you’re saying is true.
As much as he wants to deny it and tell you everything is fine, he knows that it’s gone too far. He looks at you, seeing your red eyes as you try to hold the tears in. “I don’t want to keep holding you back.” You whisper tearfully, and he takes your hand gently.
“Hey, don’t say that. If anything, I’m the one who’s been holding you back.”
You shake your head at that, then wipe your tears.
“I’m sorry, Tae.”
“Don’t be. I’m sorry.” He says quietly, still holding your hand.
Then he smiles at you gently, “Friends?”
You force a smile and give him a small nod. “I’d like that.”
Jimin kicks Taehyung on the shin, taking the other by surprise as he hisses in pain. “What the hell was that for?”
“You weren’t paying attention to me.”
“What do you want?” Tae scowls. Jimin links his arm with his best friend and pulls him towards the door. “Want to get a drink.”
Tae is about to refuse, then he thinks, why the hell not?
“Sure.”
“Yes!”
~                ~               ~
A few hours later, Taehyung stumbles into his apartment, more drunk than he had intended to be. He walks to his room with wobbly steps, falling onto his bed and closing his eyes for a minute. Then he grabs his phone and pushes some numbers into it, holding it up to his ear and waiting.
“Hello?”
He feels the tears choking him when your voice sounds through the phone. He stays silent, then he hears you sigh.
“Tae? You there?”
“Y/n, I- I miss you.” He whines, his voice wavering.
“Tae, are you drunk?”
“No…”
“…”
“Well not much.”
“You need to get some sleep, don’t you have practice tomorrow?” You try to hide your own tears, hearing his shaky voice is causing your heart to ache like crazy.
“I’m sorry, y/n. I’m sorry for not making time for you.”
“Tae-“
“Please just hear me out. I know it’s all my fault, and I’m so sorry.”
“It isn’t anyone’s fault. People grow apart and that’s okay. Please take care of yourself, Tae. Go get some sleep and stop blaming yourself. I promise you, it’s okay.”
The line disconnects and he drops his phone onto the bed. Then he turns and hugs his pillow tightly.
He wishes he had done everything differently. Maybe you wouldn’t have broken up if he just tried harder…
~                ~            ~
You drop your phone on your desk and put your head in your hands, letting yourself cry into them.
You know this is for the best. You couldn’t stand seeing him overwork himself to make time for you and have it only end up in inevitable fights. You love him too much to watch him withering away for you.
It wasn’t fair to him and it wasn’t fair to you. You thought you had found the one. And maybe you did, but at the wrong time.
You suck in a deep breath and wipe your eyes, picking yourself up and grabbing your jacket and car keys to head home for the night.
Come on y/n, suck it up.
After all, nobody said it would last forever.
Except...he did.
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a/n: i am sad sad and in pain bean. no talk to me. 
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darkelite020 · 3 years
Text
Bad Batch thoughts & predictions Ep 12
Continuing these written reactions/predictions somewhere cause itd be fun I think to see what actually ends up happening and remembering what I thought at the time so im dumping it here, youre welcome. (Feel free to discuss if you want) if you want to keep up with it im gonna be tagging these as #jay rambles about bb
- So I sort of expected it by the end of last episode but it seems like last episode was a start of an episode arc about hera's family, which, for rebel's fans I'm sure it's cool and exciting and maybe answers some questions or will actually show things discussed in rebels maybe, but as someone who hasn't seen rebels yet, I really hope this episode and the next few have more bad batch screentime, cause we were a little robbed last episode lol (but in a way I do still enjoy this stuff too, because im sure when I DO watch rebels it'll make the experience better). -- I'm not disliking this arc or anything, but up to this point we've kind of had almost mandalorian style 'one episode one adventure' sorts of episodes, and personally I really hope we get more of that (which I think we will), because while this is all new content and everything, we all have to admit clone wars had some less interesting filler arcs here and there, and I just hope bb doesn't fall the same way (across all of its seasons, im not very concerned about it so far from what we've seen of season 1) because if there is filler, I'd rather sit through a couple of the one episode stories, rather than a 3-4 episode story that takes nearly a month to get through if im disliking it, mostly for the fact that even if we got those 1 ep fillers, its more stories and more likely I'd like at least one. ---kinda rambling about this unnecessarily atm cause while again right now I think bb is fine, I just want the future to be that way too. - fffff every time I see howzer on screen I think of that fucking audio thats "here comes the boy, hello boy~" and honestly can you blame me he is so precious like ugh I swear dave you better be nice to him -- YOU CAN TELL HE FEELS SO BAD AND GUILTY LIKE IT HURTS - hey admiral can you not be MEAN to howzer when he is trying to be fucking helpful -- ;-; BRO im saying it so much already but I feel so bad for howzer like dude someone help him --- imo it feels like its sort of setting up howzer for something more important in the show kinda, at least for his character. Like we can clearly tell he doesn't really agree with the empire and I think they're going to do something with that. He's probably undercover for someone against the empire but I get the bad feeling they're gonna pull a Fives and have him go against the empire and help everyone else somehow but then he will probably end up dead because we cant have nice things. - hello cross... bet you wont be saved this episode - Ok good, some more bad batch here already. -- ALSO GONKY BEING DEFECTIVE!!!! EVEN GONKY IS DEFECTIVE LIKE BB THATS SO CUTE! - uh, im not the only one getting the leia transmission vibes from hera, right? -- ok, again I haven't seen rebels so I dont know BUT if hera has the ability to talk to bb, couldn't she have done so in rebels? Yeah she's older and im sure better at fighting and defending herself and all that, but wouldn't it still be possible for her to have gotten in some kind of rough situation in Rebels to ask for bb's help again? I super doubt bb made any appearance of any kind in Rebels, so doesn't that imply that she lost communications with them? What happens to bad batch >> - bad batch not wanting to help but because omega really wants to you can see its making hunter soften up and I appreciate it - bruh what??? Taa is dead af, like theres no way the show is gonna pull some magic and be like 'oh yep here he is' thing??? Like this has to be a lie, but even then, what even is the plan here?? Saying "oh hes recovering" well he can't be recovering forever, how does that seem like a good plan to lie about that?? People are gonna find out?? - "Great just what we need" from Wrecker about crosshair MAKES ME ANGRY LIKE??? YES?? DONT BE MAD AT HIM ITS NOT HIS FAULT??? SAVE YOUR FUCKING BOY??? -- oooo then the rest of bb doesn't comment about it literally gsjrkgbdkfbg why do they not care about him???? Like it seems they legitimately dont care about crosshair, even though theyve been together for so long like even before the show came out they
had history together and were all really close. I know people argue "oh well its just difficult to save him and its unrealistic for them right now" but so what? Even if they aren't trying to save him they should at least CARE about him. --- Which is also like the thing with echo and fives!!!! Like Echo didn't seem to care much at all when Rex mentioned fives even a little! Or even about seeing Rex that much!! Dave I'm gonna need some answers my guy, cause you humanized these characters but then you dont make them act that way so like whats up. - Lucky hunters abilities came in handy - Back to crosshair for a second im predicting they 100% arent saving him this season. There was a poster released part way through the season and he's not even on it... makes me so sad. - "I'd do the same for you." ;-; that didnt need to get that deep - CROSSHAIR BETTER NOT START SHIT WITH HOWZER - Howzer helping Hera's parents or at least implying that is good but that also means im right so far and therefore worried >> -- HES GOING TO GET FUCKING CAUGHT I BET TALKING TO THEM LIKE THIS AT SOME POINT AND HOW MUCH DO YOU WANNA BET ITS GONNA BE CROSSHAIR THAT CATCHES HIM --- Cham stfu its literally so obvious that howzer is trying to be genuine, also if he's kind of undercover for him like what the fuck do you expect howzer to do if he has to play along with the empire to keep his cover?? "Won't make that mistake again" Fuck off like honestly. ---- #stopbeingmeantohowzer2021 - "A little help" and the gentle "Hey" ahh love it - I'm really enjoying this whole them fighting in the ships sequence - "Stay here and guard the capitol" SCARES ME -- Please for the love of god bad batch don't get howzer killed --- or plot B Bad batch maybe run into howzer but save him and take him with you at least temporarily ---- oh god.... bb is helping heras parents escape and that means howzers gonna get in trouble.../probably replaced by crosshair - Crosshair is smart but thats also badddd - The scene of howzer and crosshair looking at each other is killing meeeeeeeee - Ohhh is howzer gonna stop them before they go out the door? -- YES HE IS SEE WHAT A GOOD BOY HE IS - (please fucking listen to him I beg) - Aw dude I just had a thought that breaks my heart... howzer cares about his squad and "trying to get through to them" but what if his squad is clones as well and the chips... that hurts me so badly... -- Like we all know howzer is a sweet boy by now but ughhh like the thought that he doesnt want to leave them even though they are doing whats wrong shows just how much he cares and I really hope he doesn't get into trouble because of what he's saying to them, but you know he totally would do it because he seems to care about them so much and :( bad batch more like sad batch --- This is the kind of compassion I wanted from bb for crosshair hunter kind of looks back at howzer as they leave him and I doubt itll mean anything but I really hope that maybe seeing how much howzer cares will make hunter care a little too... - *sigh* howzer is getting left behind by them which we know why but yeah... now he's definitely going to be in trouble... I just hope they don't hurt him... - OH GOD HOWZER BABY DONT -- He's making a speech and I know he's trying to sway them but you know damn well this is gonna go so badly for him because of the chips and crosshair is watching so you know howzer is gonna get fucked here and I know what hes trying for but I really wish he didnt just do that because now its blatantly obvious he's gonna be against them ;-; - Wow ok im kinda shocked people are siding with him (I guess cause theyre not all clones right) but I feel so bad for themmmmm - Crosshair missed multiple shots? Uh what? I didnt think that was possible lol - bb please come back for howzer and the others at some point.... -- I guess maybe if hera's parents are going to organize rebels against the empire maybe they will help them but I somewhat doubt it... - Ok I know that crosshair requesting to hunt them was supposed to be this big moment and all but I
can't help but feel like its a little underwhelming (but dont get me wrong still cool vibes) because he's kind of already been doing that anyway?? Or has tried to several times?? So I don't get why its a big deal, however, I do have a possible prediction: We know that bb got their chips removed, (crosshair doesn't, I know that) and so that eliminates the idea that they will get caught and actually go bad like crosshair, but it does leave a possibility where maybe they get captured and then *pretend* to be bad? And that could lead to a better possibility of helping crosshair (they wont) or maybe howzer and the other rebels or something? Cause I also feel like its significant that they brought up how the war will eventually come to them and bb will be a part of it no matter what eventually, and it makes obvious sense theyd be on the rebels side of it, so maybe something like that goes on, idk.
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moonlightjeno · 4 years
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swashbuckle and islands
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a/n : this boy will be the death of me i love him so much. excuse my horrible grammar. my fav gif, and has nothing to do with the story lol but enjoyyy
genre : angst + fluff
pairing : readerxjeno & readerxmark
word count : 2.6k
okay,
okie, be ready for this mess
and excuse any non spaced words my space bar isn’t working properly
cool so your from an island
which imma call Skye bc i can
now your mum is originally from Skye, and had like second cousins of a cousin or whatever to throne but she married you father who was from the mainland 
which is a big no no but at the time she didn’t care bc she was so in love
skip forward a couple of years and the father is a complete ass
doesn’t work or really do much except order your mum around
anyone who has a wonderful father or really good parents im sorry don’t attack me this is for the story
:)
so, mum has had you and your older brother, whom your brother continues to admire your father bc he really just wants love and is hella lost in this mess of a world
Moving on
you used to have a really good relationship with your father until he changed.
cheated on your mother, and would blame it on you mum
in response you really just tried to help you mum get through this mess
big big mess
your brother, at the beginning helped and tried to calm your father  
boy kinda gave up, hela understandable
and left to the mainland to study medicine
wooot go him
but you were devastated because you were now alone 
now bc your brother has left your father has really worsened and blocks your freedom more and more
The point where you were literally only allowed to like go to school, work in the fields and be a servant
sksksk 
now remember how your mum was like the second cousin or smth to the royal crown?
Twas was importanttt
that managed to get you a study abroad year in london, 
queue your best friend mark entering
this boy showed you what freedom was and felt like for the first time since your father went off rails
iss been like a good 13 years and you're like 16 ??
I digress
mark literally made you feel more yourself because of his natural outgoing and easy behavior
It really was pretty amazing
And then the hiding and going out late at night was over
It was back to no friends, working at the field
sad life tbh
I must note, that because mark lived in canada bc why tf not 
y’all couldn’t really communicate
this is set when pirates where a thing, think of pirates of the caribbean 
I love those movies 
okie, progress two years 
of you thanks to you mum’s second cousin related human lol
you became friends with the cousins friends daughter 
y’all really had known each other since they were smol 
but hadn’t really been friends, bc the girl was pretty quite and a beaut
even her own father treated her better than she treated her own daughter
smh, ik this is a cliche live with it
but overall she was a really good person and kinda managed to sneak you around the island when you weren't on “duty” for your father
though its not that you didn’t like working in the fields bc you loved helping out with the animals and occasionally give food to those who were less fortunate than you and really couldn’t afford it
being a trooper, that you are you often told your friend idk wanna give her a name so y’all could come up with one if it were up to me it would be lilith about what you would see around the island and how the country was pretty not doing a okay
she would listen and talk about her own problems and how she wished she could travel and paint everything 
Bonding over traveling yep yeo
one day, you were supposed to work in the fields as you tend to have to do to the cows, and sheep and horses, while picking up the apples? from the trees ??
Idk i don’t farm
either wayyyy
you had finished your tasks early, and had struggled, and i mean stRuGgLed to get away from your father
he was in one of his moods today, shouting at everyone and refusing to admit he needed help
it was a constant reminder of every bad thing every failure that could happen in your life every thing you didn’t want for yourself or your mum who had slowly been getting sick and y’all had some money that could have helped her but your father thought that she deserved the illness
and i quote he said “everything happens for a reason child, if your mother had treated me and had been a good person this wouldn’t have happened to her, but alas some people deserve what they get”
skskskks 
he continued to say how “i on the other hand, have been a good man all my life, have always helped others so i don’t get sick”
this man i swear to god this has actually happened help
being very much done with your father who you really wished would just disappear and leave you and your mom who no longer lived with you but now lived with lilith to be
you had thought of running away for a very long time, though never knew how to get off the island it seemed impossible
sure you knew how to fight, somewhat by watching the guards and the little training mark you had taught your two years ago. 
missing mark hours but it wouldn’t compare to the guards of the royals who would never aid you
and even if they had, you had never learned how to sail which was ironic as the island you lived in wasn’t very large. Your only method of transportation has been your legs and your families faithful horse lethian ?? who really was your favorite out of all the animals 
running away from the trapped life had always felt like a dream, one that you had lived for for the small year in london with mark
you thought about running away again, the idea of sneaking into a trading boat slowly forming in your mind
you could take her your mum and lilith and travel the world go to london again and paris and canada and re-unite with the friend you missed the most
a smile had formed on your previous grim face, the dream something you held onto until your eyes opened and smoke covered the sky
a ringing began in your ears and you tried to stop it, your hands covering your ears in an attempt to stop the noise but the ringing only got stronger
the sky was black, shots were heard were the village people yelled in panic
you looked out towards the sea and could see the outline of a ship
a very large ship
oh shit 
a pirate ship
the flag blew proudly in the boat and from where you stood the bone white skull that contrasted against the black around it was made visible everytime the wind blew 
you gasped, everything anyone had told you about pirates were that they weren’t to be trusted
they were ruthless and would do nothing to stop from getting what they wanted
the stories you'd heard all came to the same conclusion you see the flag you run in the other direction
you pace quickened and in small time you were running towards the blazing village now up in smokes fire and fog covering the bakery, and fields
the school that had taught you the basics of reading and writing until girls weren’t allowed to attend was a blaze royal guards their black and purple uniforms waved their hands around and pointed their too heavy too unbalanced swords not being of much use
mom 
she should be safe
safe with lilith you thought, looking back towards were the small castle stood its bold flag still flying proudly in the grey and black sky
safe , shes safe you keep telling yourself a constant buzz that you repeated over and over to yourself in order to continue moving towards the castle walls
you only lasted a solid five minutes before the guards were holding the civilians back
you sighed angry these idiots being more preoccupied with holding back the citizens who were trying to get to safety behind the castle walls than actually dealing with the threat at hand
who hired them really??
being the stubborn human you are you decided to head towards the back entrance as yuo saw a flash of blonde hair headin towards the back gate of the castle 
oh no was your immediate thought their gonna get to lilith and mum
all the guards had been directed out of castle except a few that had stayed inside to keep the royal fam safe the infirmary had been left unguarded
you looked around trying to look for a familiar face, a familiar guard who youd seen at a practice lilith had dragged you too she had said it was too “admire suitors” you had shaken your head and laughed 
you had no interest in tying yourself to a man that would treat you like something to throw around but you let her revel in her fantasies 
no familiar face was found so you turned and ran towards the blonde head you had seen walk towards the back entrance grabbing a sword from one of the dead guards 
your cursed the clothes women were given making it impossible to run in impossible to fight in 
the blonde boy turned around at your approach, he was young you noticed
probably your age, his grin was deviant and his eyes were mocking as she approached 
“please” you tried “don’t hurt hurt anyone else” 
the boy looked at you with a puzzled look at laughed, slashing away at the thorns and vines that encircled the back door to the castle as he found the lock and tried to break it open
you got closer, looking at the broken glass bottles that littered the floor and torches that lit up the fogged street 
the boy was too busy with the look to realize the girl that had come behind him and hit him in the back of the head with the swords dull pommel the boy let put a yelp before collapsing at your feet
your small victory lasted a small time and before you noticed the boy you had tied with the thorns and vines from the door, which continued to be locked 
your mum and lilith as far as you knew safe
began to stir and as his eyes opened another boy appeared at the end of the alley
his hair seemed to be part of the night sky, falling over his dark eyes. 
“mark!” the black haired boy cried, his hand at his scimitar pointed directed towards you his other hand had managed to slip a dagger out of god knows where and sliced mark’s binds
mark the name sent a shock through you and you took a closer look at the young boy whose eyes were now wide open no anger shown
 but instead amusement and the joyous spark you had once known
he looked so different 
the black haired boy still had a sword at your throat and you swallowed briefly 
“mark?” you gasped feeling the tip of the sword against your neck a small movement and it would nick your skin, blood would swell
‘Mark’ looked at you again and laughed, 
the black haired boy looked confused “let her go jeno” 
jeno was like ‘excuse me ? she knocked you unconscious no i'm not doing that’ he didn't say it but mark understood and laughed again this time it was more mischievous a feral grin adorned his features
“let her go, she’s coming with us” jeno and you were both like huh? has this boy gone mad?
probably letss be realll
“umm no im not” you snapped at the boy you once knew, you glared at jeno who had regrettably removed his sword away from your neck but had placed the dagger threateningly close to your back ashe forced you to move along
you didn’t get an answer from mark who still seemed very entertained by the whole situation
he had changed so much since you’d last seen him *sigh*
you three walked back towards the village and you hadn’t realized how the screams of pain and fear were no longer heard
more than a few guards littered the floors and you tried not to gasp as jeno forcefully continued to move you towards the sea its waters black 
the walk to the pirate boat seemed to last ages, the sun had begun to set in the sky casting dark purple and red shadows above the black water that didn’t reflect any light. It broke your heart to see the usually clear water be black, the animals that lived in the waters probably struggling to survive.
when you finally arrived, the panic began to settle in again. you didn’t know if your mum and lilith were safe, you didn’t know what would happen and the boy you knew two years ago had changed so much that you could no longer read what he was thinking 
the ship loomed in front of you, you hear the small buzz of chatter from the ship and laughter
why was there laughter in such a horrible place ??
“Come on” mark said, already walking getting onto the ship, not looking back at the mess they had left behind
You no longer felt the sharp prick of a dagger or sword at your back, but instead it had been replaced by a strong hand guiding you towards the ship
the contact startled you, and you straightened and continued to walk forward the ship only a few feet away, you still held onto the rock that you had hit mark with, your sword taken away by jeno
you forced your feet to stop moving, because one more step and you’d be on the pirate’s boat, and ducked, and made a weak attempt at attacking the black haired boy behind you hitting him with the small rock you had on the leg
you begin to move away from the boat. The victory lasted a solid second before jeno had his arms around you, pinning your hands behind your back. No longer smiling, or understanding in his dark eyes. you glared at him and then at mark who had finally turned around, a sort of sadness passed over his features before he spoke
“you can’t run away y/n” he said calmly. “remember in london? when you dream about running away, leaving this island and  exploring the world? away from your father?”
his words shocked you, but you didn’t want to leave your mum she had no one else 
“i can’t just leave mark !! my mum, she’s still there and i can’t just leave her with father” a look of recognition and understanding flitted through jeno’s face and reflected in mark
“i know, i know but if you stay here and go back” the boy shook his head, the dark of the night making his blonde hair a dull light in the fog, 
you knew, that in many ways he was right. if you did go back the villagers had seen you with the pirates, being taken by them as the village had burned down and you weren't scared. the worst scenario would be that if you did go back they would imprison you, ask you for information 
hurt mum, hurt lilith even is she was part of the royals
you felt the tears well up in your eyes, and refused to let them fall
“we aren’t all that bad” peeped jeno’s voice who had softened again, until you looked at him and his gaze hardened
you forced yourself a small smile, and placed your foot on the board of the boat 
“Let’s go swashbucklers” you said, 
after all, the stories you’d heard had come from your father, and all his stories were a lie.
a/n : i hope y’all enjoyed that. ik there wasn't much jeno lol but i’m planning on king this a series if you want? send me an ask, if you do! either way, 
peace out luvs,
stay safe
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splendidshinobi · 3 years
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FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 21-25
almost halfway done lads how we feelin'
episode 21: the red glow
ah yes barry
"i'm alphonse elric!!!!!" yes u r baby!!!
who just popped over the wall
scar im assuming
"i kill therefore i am".....barry spouting descartes rn
it was scar haha
um
hi greed
thought i saw you earlier
WHY DID THEY DRAW HIS ARMS THAT LONG
ope he found the chimera crew...
jerry jewell's evil laugh gets me every time lmao he's so great
ed has deep philosophical talks bro
also ed is chaotic but his personal morals are unshakeable
who are these prison guards gonna release
oh hey kimblee
oh hey squad
ed take out ur pokeball
um wth is that
OH MY GOD TUCKER WHAT
EW
I THOUGHT IT WAS A GIANT YODA OR A SWAMP MONSTER
he looks FUCKKEDDDD
bro of all the things i was not expecting him
oof ishval flashbacks
young scar why is your hair brown
why is it white now
WHY IS HE NAKED
whos her
lust 1.0 im assuming
ew omg tucker is literally so fuckin nasty lookin idk
idk why but he's worse than rod reiss titan for me
wait a damn minute
wait a damn fucking minute
goddamnit
what is GOIN ON
i need tucker to stop whispering he sounds like fucking voldemort on the back of quirrells head
jesus
episode 22: created human
hughes' pajamas look like armin's futon from aot junior high
the bad place???? was that greed's prison gluttony was lookin at?
im still shook af over tucker and tbh its been like 24 hours since i watched episode 21
STOP WHISPERING TUCKER
driving me up a wall
my poor son looks so tired :(
those moral principles at it again
bradley.......
ewww the way tucker walks STOP
hi envy!!!!!
so all of those prisoner guys gonna get flattened by some alchemy
hey kimblee!!!
so did greed escape with the homies???? cause i feel like he would have made his presence known already....
i feel like im missing a lot because im a ding dong
musty prison kimblee is kinda...hot....physically speaking..oops..personality wise obviously there's MUCH to work on
so envy knows hohenheim
ED BABY
he won't do it
oh no alphonse
oh god memory implants
al's identity crisis CONTINUES
they wanna become humans??? huh....doesnt really make sense for their characters...(maybe envy but more on that at 11)
is ed gonna kill these guys for al
some1!!!!!! hold!!!!! me!!!! im so stressed
is he pretending to do it and he's got another plan up his sleeve!!!!????
honestly he's so depressed i cant even tell
those unshakable moral principles at work again i see
the red water can turn ed into a god???? wtf ed doesnt want to be a god he wants to punch god
oh theres the greed squad! i found them!!! is kimblee joining up with them
maria girly!!!!!!!
THE HOMUNCULI IN THEIR STUPID UNIFORMS I--
who's the lady. i need 2 know.
episode 23: fullmetal heart
alphonse is destroyed again
poor kid
"edward sir" brosh pls!!!
oh excuse me--- ***Bloch
The Ross Slap™
winry <3
pinako takes no prisoners
ed didnt you JUST tell brosh and ross they might be right that you needed to trust adults with more shit and now youre blowing off hughes
ed's DRAWINGS im-
hi sig hi izumi!!!
al is so sad over there in that corner
poor baby son
sometimes i feel like hughes and mustang are ed and al's divorced dads
the little arakawa avatar cows in the back im CRYING!!!!!!!
“bean”
snappy al
ooffffffff
omg hughes plz
elicia is precious though we love her
"dad's friend the bookworm" omg sheska
awwww gracia made edward a cake!!!!!!!
god catch me cryin in the club
CONGRATULATIONS
"whatever" al im crying he's so sad
AL MADE BROSH OR WHOEVER CARRY HIS DESTROYED ARMOR TO THE ROOF IM ACTUALLY YELLING
"you goof"
yes winry you are correct boy is a goof
sir you are being so dramatic
give that baby a hug
"so called brother"
so we all know that was a knife through the heart for ed
al just jumped off a FUCKING ROOF and ED TRIED TO FOLLOW
so im crying
i liked this better when they HAD A CONVERSATION ABOUT AL'S FEARS AND MADE THE FUCK UP
episode 24: bonding memories
guess we're gonna play w my emotions again
sometimes like....one bit characters talk...like villager b ya know? and im like who are you i know that voice
so the nasty military has come to ruin some lives again
and barry for some reason
aww poor al
youre real you are!!!!!!
i just feel like people would know people that wear sunglasses in the rain would be ishvalan
but what do i know
obviously they dont have the white hair thing in this version
poor ed is so sad
these boys need a hug 
let me just *pulls out adoption papers*
well if scar doesnt have queen mei to adopt in 03, he’s got this little toothless boy
dont lie al you do care
ew i dont like her
the drama of this boy
so the nasty military has come to ruin some lives again part 2
apparently they are *mercenaries??? excuse me
i have some questions regarding this kid’s mom
well you know i can see why this kid feels this way about his mom
it does look like she ran off...
al and scar dream team up
HEY ED!!! HEY WINRY!!!
bout time
yall gonna have this talk now????
barry STOPPPPPP
brotherhood barry is the true king there i said it
damn scar you baddie
barry like....you already knew him
anyway
WHAT THE HELL
NO RICKKK!!!!!!
someone save this boy!!!!
oh good his mom “saved” him
ah damn thats pretty tragic
she didnt know they were right in front of her
ow
well my questions were answered
so she attacks with grape fanta. thats one way to do it
ed looks like such an angry gremlin right now this is a heartwarming moment sir please
why are ed and scar being so civil right now this is so weird
bye scar
we’ll see him again
see you later scar
episode 25: words of farewell
maes who let you buy that awful pink suit 
gracia please it better not have been you
mustang ew please
dont open the door lookin like that
what the hell are you doing in here 
so hughes WASNT in ishval here?
i think that takes a lot away from his character but anyway
bradley hangs around like a creep at every possible instant
why would bradley care about ishvalan refugees like hughes cmon
“unspeakable crimes” BRADLEY YOU LITERALLY CANNOT TALK
juliet douglas is this lady’s name
only took me 1000 episodes to figure that out
ED AND AL??? NOT DEALING WITH DANGEROUS THINGS??????? dont make me laugh assholes theyre lying thru their teeth
izumi time lets go
wow we’re still going to rush valley? wasnt really expecting that tbh
elicia i LOVE you!!!!!
ew kimblee “hi”
how did he lightning himself like that
if i were ishvalan i would not go to the south....yet ANOTHER war torn region of amestris but ok
okay
an amestrian desert biker gang rolled up to wreak havoc
HUGHES AHAHAHA 
tbh i wouldnt want to tell roy anything either stupid bitch
anyway
um why do i feel like its hughes’ death episode
he would not be shown tucking elicia in to bed otherwise 
please im not ready to be hurt again
oh no
yeah he just learned something about our girl juliet
ive been waiting for this information 
he’s gonna die before we learn anything helpful
yupppppp
hey lust figured you’d show up sooner or later
i too wish i could look that sexy pulling a kunai out of my forehead
SLOTH????????
did girly just say SLOTH
i- nothing about her seems particularly slothy but ok
u know what!!!!!!!!!!!!
ENVY HEYYY
DUMBASS ROY JUST HAAAAAD TO LEAVE
haha famous last words
oof it hurts every time
not the FUNERAL scene no!
time for me to go 
peace out homies im dead inside
yes my brigadier general 
NOT THE RAIN
COME ONNNNNN
hughes is sneezing six feet under
was ed supposed to be looking at hughes’ ghost
um....right
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plainvanillapotato · 4 years
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the 100 diaries S1 E5
quarantine diaries: may 23 2020
season 1 episode 5: “Twilight’s Last Gleaming”
is the title a reference to the american anthem? cuz if so remember fergie? 
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bet you wish you could go back to those good old days
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anyway back to the show
finn and clarke. its a cute ship but i dont think that its endgame especially with raven coming down to stir the pot but also because i’ve read some of y’alls urls...
population reduction. nice way to say mass murder. 
what are the actual odds that raven would actually land close to where the 100 is at? cuz i have a feeling its not high but plot i guess
for someone is really about hope and being optimistic clarke really said why would i wish on a shooting star “its just a rock burning up in the atmosphere”
*after seeing raven’s pod enter the atmosphere* “please tell me they brought down some shampoo”- a girl that bellamy is sleeping with...I am this girl and this girl is me. Cuz homegirl is asking the real-life questions. like do they have toilet paper what about pads or tampons i assume no and umm big yikes. but when we all panic bought toilet paper wow that was only a couple of weeks ago. also what these kids really need are some goddamn condoms. cuz from what i’ve seen they are not fit to be parents.
these fools out here thinking that the ark is dropping supplies but its just raven very horny for finn. little does she know about finn and clark. is this a train wreak waiting to happen yes think so...uh oh spaghettios
clarke watching finn and raven reunite big awkward 
also can we please talk about how raven literally crash landed but her eyebrows are still on fleek. i could never.
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love how octavia calls bellamy “bell”--> please tell me that someone has photoshopped bellamy’s face on bell body from beauty and the beast if so please reblog with the image cuz i need it in my life
bellamy cutting out the radio and throwing it in the creek-->once again bellamy proves that he’s out here just to save his own skin but ok yeah i understand it like ngl i would do the same
i dont understand thelonious. one episode he’s like no kane who the tf do you think you are? you can’t go around and kill people and then in this episode he’s like ok so imma kill myself and leave you in charge :/
abby negging theloniuous to not kill himself...wow now i see where clarke gets it
oh Octavia...im clumsy too.
maybe its because im rewatching atla but bellamy talking about how jaha deserved to die reminds of jet and the freedom fighters. it might also be because bellamy’s hair in this episode is a lot like jet’s. 
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see... jet vibez
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i know in one of my other posts i compared bellamy to zuko but as of rn he’s more of a jet (charming yet ruthless leader of a group of kids) especially back to whatever episode where he did a speech about privilege and wanting the upper class to do the work for once--> very reminisce of Jet and the freedom fighters. both bellamy and jet are very bitter towards those in power because they did wrong toward their family members. BUT also season 1 of avatar where jet is willing kill a village just to get rid of the fire nation is similar to bellamy wanting everyone to take off their wristbands despite clarke’s warning about how the need the aid of the ark to survive
and yes im aware of the comparison between bellarke but zutara now idk about that because zutara holds a special place in my heart. honest to god there was so much parallels between the two (twin flames) and foreshadowing you can’t convince that the two are not soulmates. i’ll wait and see tho
abby really released the video that she essentially killed her husband for creating. ok. and then she pretend that the council was the one responsible for his death when she was the person that gave him up. playing the hero when you’re actually the villain
aww the dad is gonna voluntarily die to help his daughter...my heart
side note: what is the life expectancy of people on the arc cuz the oldest person i’ve seen (kane’s mom) could not have been older than 75
wow they really didn’t see the signal from earth great. just great. is it just me or is how they killed the people on the ark remind you of gas chambers? idk this episode was very sad and depressing for me
also now clarke wants to wish on a star? is that character development or is she just salty about finn and raven?
fuck....Octavia is dead that or i predict that she becomes the princess of grounders kind like how princess leia was taken in by the ewoks (and before anyone gets any ideas no I do not consider grounders as lesser beings if anything i think that they are superior to the spacers i’m just spewing out random shit)
also major side note: where the hell is this asian lady on the ark. the last i saw of her was the pilot episode so where is she?? did they cut out of the story??!
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....i was very curious and annoyed so i looked it up and yes. they did fucking cut her out. wtf did they really just bait me with diversity in the pilot. I’m honestly mad because as an Asian american i like to see representation which is why i was so happy to see female asian american on screen when i watched the pilot. now im angry. while i know that diversity is not a big deal to some people it is to me and i really don’t appreciate the 100 showing all these diverse faces in pilot to only to just cut them out of the show. seriously wtf (monty better have a badass storyline) 
don’t worry i’ll keep watching the show and blogging but rn im just really disappointed in the show. like really please don’t dangle diversity in my face when you’re just gonna snatch it away
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neuropathicgypsy · 4 years
Text
So there's this guy who isn't so great...
So i saw a photo of him and I'd seen it before but this time i was thinking about some dark shit...
And I realized who he is...
It doesn't always happen that way... Actually... Like it was dark but not bad... Then what i remember was bad...
And so may be this girl was lying and it was the way it was initially with the memories about this guy... And maybe she did deserve her ass beat...
But their relationship wasn't as he wanted me to believe... Like it was more like how she said it was...
And may be 100% like she said... Like maybe it really does only take 20 minutes for an abortion. How would i know? I never had one... Or may be her mom was confused... About what time i dropped her off... Idk im trying to remember 10 years later and frankly i don't even care.
I washed my hands of both of them fully in 2008....
So now randomly he's popped back in my life... And completely random...
I didn't have a problem with him until he kept lying to me... Like for real lies like "I'm coming over" and he doesn't. Like that. Not like i think he's lying... Like its really obvious hes lying... Like its a fact.
Then i was all fuck this shit. And Matt happened to be with him and I waited like 8 hours and he did this huge song and dance and so i told Matt, punch him 5 times, at least 2x in the face.
So Matt did... Cause dam dude it was ridiculous. I already seen him and i already identified his alter ego but i was okay to over look it. Like it wasn't my relationship and it wasn't like it been 10 years since she had him arrested for beating her and i went with her to the court...
Yeah he definitely can't handle alcohol...
Like he would be cool at my house at first but as the night wore on... I would be like 2 hours later... Time for bed and make an excuse of life i had the next day instead of drinking and hanging out all night
He would be all "its nine o'clock!!" And i would be all "yeah Tom, sometimes we all have to grow up and admit responsibility"
Yeah sometimes he was a bitch... Like when i said anything with sense he would be all "i need to duct tape her mouth"
Or that one time he wanted to put me in my kitchen trash bin... I told him i didn't give a Fuck so he put it over my head and i told him to pick up the trash off my kitchen floor and he did then swept it and left a big pile in the floor...
But overall he was just his unique self that i kinda got used to...
Because his drama with my friend was between them -- unless my friend bitched about him later, like when we took the kids to the park, and i tried to help her figure him out.
Anyways so now i know my friend wasn't lying about him...
And i know other shit he did... Like to me...
Cause i actually knew him in Alabama, NYC, Texas, Oklahoma and now here... Like a stalker...
And so i am wondering... Should I tell him what i know? What i remember? The bad things?
Or should i just not?
I wonder if it will do any good... Like Why for put myself through his bull shit when i really just want to be left alone?
Do i want to remember?
No... I don't want to feel my ribs feeling like they're about to break or sharp pains on the side of my head -- the side closest to the wall in the bed so he could say i fell instead of it being on the side where he slept...
Like being drugged... So he can lie as to why he and my ex husband thought it was great to spike drinks.... Like ...
I don't care. I really don't.
He knows what he did and I just want him to go away. Obviously he isn't going to stop... Obviously he shouldn't be around the female human...
But what I'm just gonna pull evidence out his ass? My ass? Prove it?
I really don't think i can...
He already was sentenced 9 months for what he did to my friend.
May be he learned... Idk.
Obviously hes not going to come over and despite his recent meddling, people have come to their senses about him... Like he totally doesn't give a shit about me. Or them.
So obviously i left him when i was younger, between his father and mine, i got out of the house with him and he quickly moved on to "someone better" and he brought her over and the next one an the next cause he thought when i told the girls he beat me, i was jealous and trying to break them up...
When i was saying, I am so glad i left and I'm left alone 90% of the time and he isn't all up my ass bugging me and being weird and hitting me cause he had nothing else to do and no brain activity. And that it could happen to them, too. For no fucking reason.
It took a while, too for his dad to help me understand it wasn't me... Like he was just crazy... Stupid. Jealous. And dumb. Not too long but i did have to be taught that there's no difference between an abusive boyfriend or girlfriend or husband and an abusive parent or sibling. I always thought i really did something wrong
Now I know... I let him live and i was afraid of him and to let the "monster inside of me" out. And i was afraid I wouldn't win and i would die at his hands.
Now I'm not. Now I don't even care although I know for a fact he could probably break my neck in less than 10 seconds... Not because I'm suicidal or don't care about myself.
But because I do care about myself and I know that i can kick his ass. I know i don't have to and i know i can kick his ass soft enough that he behaves better and also that i can kick it so he never breathes again.
Because I'm angry. At what he did to me. Im angry that i believe without a doubt he would do it again if i didn't know all HIS male friends that would kick his ass, without a doubt until he quit bleeding.
Because I'm angryi have to feel the physical pain he did to me and i have to remember the bruises and the tears and the frustration and annoyance and knowledge that i wasn't loved.
Because I'm angry my fucking ribs hurt.
Idk that night he put on his act. I wanted him dead. Like i didn't care. I wanted to. I really did. I wanted to care about his life and his safety but I didn't. I hated him. With every cell of my being.
Matt said "i only punched him 2x in the face" i was all go back and hit him 10x in the face!!! Like it wasn't enough and i KNOW Matt did to to what he deserved not tappy tap tap.
I heard that over a week later, on Halloween, his face was still mangled... Like 6 broken noses and 5 black eyes... Like... Obviously he only has one nose and 2 eyes but there was enough damaged tissue for more.
I dont even feel bad... Like i still feel,it isn't enough. Because now i feel pain. And have since Halloween when the people he went to the carnival with left because i left. And haven't seen him since. Because they figured out thwt he was purposely keeping them from me, in line for the Haunted House for nearly 2 hours... I was not gonna stay..,
They could got out of line and sat with me at the fire they gave more logs for and rejoined him when he was near the front... It was cold where they were. They could even had taken turns in line.
It wasn't something i could do... I didn't even know they were there until after I left. All i was told was they would be about an hour... Which made no sense cause i thought they said they were already there... So what for an hour?
For the first time in forever it was just me and my kid for Halloween. We could done anything. My kid actually wanted to do the Haunted House... But didnt want to wait in the 36°F line for over an hour.
Its a good thing they left too, i got beat up in the Halloween Haunted House before, too.... Perfect place... Dark.. Scary... All perfect for "accidents" with no real person to take fault... Just accidents...
So really... I'm like part of me wants to tell him i know what he did...
But more i just want him to not exist.
And then another part of me still likes him and wishes he has grown up and realized he could be better than he allows himself to be. Part of me feels sorry for him.
I know he just wants to be loved and safe Just like we all do...
And I could love him as a friend as I had in the past... Knowing hes not been trustworthy in the past makes it easier to protect myself.
I handled him quite pperfectly 11 years ago... Until my ex husband I was married to then, started encou stupid and dangerous and evil entertainment.
I still don't understand the point to drug someone to have sex with them. Like dude. You're saying you're not good enough to be liked with a person sober and woke and living normal.
So that says a lot about a person... That they have no confidence or true love for themselves.
I been for real single in my house for 10 years...having only long distance relationships. I dont feel the need to drug someone to allow them to like me. They either do or they don't.
Im curious as to why they dont but i dont care. Some people just do not get along with others. Its that simple. I don't like plenty of people and to have to explain myself or be pushed around because of it totally pisses me off. I don't like you, simple as that and I'll hate you before I love you.
I see the most problem with criminals is they dont love themselves but usually demand others to while not believing others do... So they beat them.
Its really really sad. Its horrible. How they can't break that barrier to love just themselves. And then turn themselves into unlovable trash that they shouldn't be.
So at the end of the day, if you don't want to be loved. Then i won't love you.
Its the most difficult lesson a person can learn and its the most saddest and heartbreaking. But also the strongest making, most wisdom learning lesson.
And so I can turn off my feelings, my warmth, my caring for someone whom asks me to. Most especially someone whom has or would try to beat it into me.
Life is: Survival of the Fittest, is it not?
If you cannot love yourself, cherish yourself enough to take risks then you cannot survive.
If you cannot believe you are loveable then your actions will cause you to not be loveable.
But yet people like Jesse James and "Tom" don't have a problem with being greedy and asking for more and more and more. Like vampires with empty souls sucking down unicorn blood in the forest like they want to live on a page of a Harry Potter novel.
And so my question is, do i tell him what i know he did to Me? Or does he just want to relish in the delight of what he got away with so that He can devise ways to lie to make me some sort of pawn in his life, someone to use?
Why waste my time?
Friday in about 15 seconds i lost my child support check... While looking for it lost another check for $2.40...Then at the bank moments later literally $5 disappeared from ny hands.
Then the next day i had taken off my shoes in the Wal-Mart wheel chair shopping cart... While wheeling around... Lost my dam shoe.
I didn't even bother to look for it.
And my cat was kidnapped... Then i sent someone to fetch him... "Tom" let him get kidnapped again... Then he got fetched again.... And i have yet to see him... So im like what the fuck? Its been over a week... I tried Thursday night to go ask the neighbors but all the gates were locked...
Then i got this like flue feeling thing where i want to puke all day and all these body aches and I just want to sleep.
And Every thing is pissing me off...
And know why? Cause this curse if u dont acknowledge the dead on Halloween with a fuckking Hello then i get all this bad luck. Happens every time.like excuse me ass holes i deal with you 300 days a year and i can't have one with my kid?!
Its absolutely ridiculous
So id much rather sleep then to decide to care about someone whom has shown they do not care about me.
But is it wrong?
Should I tell him all those hits and attempts at giving me amnesia were temporary and i know exactly who he is and that he's still lying and that I know he was all trying to marry my friend then still get with me?
His dad says that he knew hitting me made me leave so that's why he hit my friend. And his dad says that she wasn't pregnant and that same as at my house it was more all over him than him on her... Unlike when he was with me
And i know i still have a lot of memories that don't fit right that are messed up.
But I know exactly what happened between Sara and Tom according to Sara's words to me. Because that part of my memories have never been affected. Even if i was drinking... Because i didn't drink a lot because i get migraines if i do. Mostly wine coolers or rum and juice...
Plus there was two adult sized male idiots, a seemingly whore type person and then 3 children 2 under the age of 5. So obviously someone who wasn't stumbling and posing a threat to the kids by falling over on themselves had to be present.
I just got drunk enough... So that i really didnt give a shit about all the stupidity I saw in the adults around me. And could say shit like "you know Sara, sometimes you're really dumb. Hes told you like 40 times to get off him and you're still on him So when tomorrow you're all black and blue and he says you tripped going down the stairs and i saw you walk down them just fine, I'm not really gonna care. I mean its not like he told you or anything. 46 times"
But while sober... I would worry why he was so mean to his girlfriend. Why she would always be rejected by him. And why she would allow herself to be treated so horrible. If my friend told me always to get off them, i would feel sad. Sometimes I have had to tell my kid not to touch or lean on me because i have pain... But i try to adjust so that they can... As i have a lot of numb spots next to highly painful areas.
But between Tom and Sara... I felt it was weird,volatile and and dangerous. And they shouldn't be together.
I even asked him once cause Sara would go inside with my ex a lot... Hmmm.. Idc.
"Why don't you like Sara to touch you?" And his face would be red.
And i would say " okay so then when do you like Sara to touch you?" Cause then i would tell her So she could get her affection...
And it was always difficult to get him to talk about himself.. Until for two nights I didn't talk to him and when we we're alone after he kicked me under the table most of the night, all angry in my face why i wouldn't talk to him...
"Oh why because you called me duct tape for 6 months telling me not to talk to you. And then when I did or have tried to "get close to you" as i would a friend, you just sit there all dopey and smile and don't even answer a question i ask you"
You know then sara comes out and says i said he was on dope.
And she denies it...and I'm tired of her being oblivious to every dam thing on the fucking planet. And i straight out accuse them both of being on meth...
And so while trying to faceplant herself on his Dick shes all "we should leave"
So then i throw them out and they both refuse to move. What. The. Fuck.
He claims hes afraid to leave cause she is all dopey on his Dick.... And hes all shes gonna rape m3 and all tries to,hide behind me,touching my body to use me as a shield and tries to jump over the railing of my porch!!! But acts like hes afraid to and asks my permission like 14 times. Dude you're a grown ass man why the fuck are you asking that's dumb. We were on the lower level anyway. Literally 4 steps, including the top.
It always seemed that stupid and annoying.
So i really didn't care when he went to jail, sentenced for 14 months and got out in 9..
Or when on New Year's Eve, i took her and her kids Christmas presents and she hadnt got any of us anything... And I had bought and took her cigarettes and she didn't want to share when i ran out... Or when I said we needed to leave because my kid wanted to go home and she told me that I was being a bad friend because I'm a good mom... Because I was going to leave... Then we went to the bonfire which my kid liked and so Sara said if i wanted to smoke her Winstons... Then i had to go get them and she threw them .... Because she was jealous all her neighbors were talking and laughing with me because i actually do know how to socialize.
And i quit being friends with her that night.
Left .... And every time she text me after i just told her to shut up and fuck my husband....but she didn't know because shes so sef absorbed that 2 months prior I told him i wanted a divorce.
On Thanksgiving.
In front of my uncle....
And so... Still... Should I tell him I think he's a complete ass hole with something to hide or a chicken shit that is making it look like he does.... And allow him to explain himself or not...
Because I a fucking tired of him trying to get into my brain. Hes all hiding. I'm not.
I heard in 4 months he hit me 15 occasions... I used the calculator and it was once every 8 days. I was 16. He was 23.
That enough makes me want to not talk to him. But i also don't want him to be all well that's your fault Sabrina. And blame me all kinds because I gave him a chance. I gave him a 100% chance.
Then when he blew me off more than once,including in DM.. I was all forget you then.... But then when I said i didn't want to fuck him, he lost his Goddam mind. Like dude... So yeah... When were we ever going to anyways when you can't even drive to someone's house? Or set up a date and actually go to it? It was So irrational the way he reacted. What? I'm a cum bucket? Like what he's gonna random run into me at Wal-Mart an pound me from behind in the family bathroom while i hold onto the toilet seat??
Seriously. Hes not rational
So I'm like to tell him what I've been told by th3 dead and what i remember... Its just a waste of effort, isn't it?
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mactuna · 5 years
Text
๓ฯ hคlf ~ ¢hคຖi
My Half ~ SF9′s Chani x fem!reader insert
Words: 3.4K
Genre: fluff/angst?????
Warning: cursing and minor makeout scene (idk wth im doing)
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“What’s wrong Chani?”
He just looked at the bride, a longing sorrow that was completely overwhelmed by anger in his dark eyes. 
“What’s wrong?! I’m just so sick of Rowoon!! He has everything! He has the money, the looks, the admirers, and now you! I have absolutely nothing! Basically, everything’s wrong!!!!” And all you could do was watch him sadly, barely able to keep the tears from leaking out of your eyes.
“And now, I pronounce you, Kim Rowoon and Kim Yerin, husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
Tearing up, you watched as your brother kissed the love of his life, who also happened to be one of your best friends. She was basically like your mom, so she fit right into your family. Looking behind the beaming couple, you saw Hwiyoung having the time of life just laughing at you. Frowning, you stuck your tongue out at him before mouthing,
Do you want to die?!
He immediately shook his head and went right on back to clapping and cheering for the new couple.
Hmph! That’s what I thought!
Following Rowoon and Yerin down the altar, you and Hwiyoung linked arms and skipped after them like little kids, giggling like no tomorrow. Despite the joy of the occasion, you could still hear the awful whispers. 
“Are they dating?? They’d look so cute together!”
“Pfft, as if! I wish she’d stop jumping from guy to guy like this... what a slut! Rowoon must hate having her as a sister. I know I would!”
Forcing the tears back into your eyes, you successfully (hopefully) fudged a huge smile on your face. It’s not your fault that your brother had so many friends that you just happen to get along with! But as soon as you all were out of the church and on our way to the park where the reception would take place, you felt a slight tug on my dress. Looking down, you saw the little 8-year-old with a piece of your dress tightly in his tiny fist. Smiling softly, you knelt down so that you had eye contact with him.
“Hi Seokhee, do you need something?”
“I just really want a hug, noona...”
Huh? This is coming from the kid who literally hates any kind of physical contact that doesn’t include some form of violence??? WHAT IS GOING ON?!!
“Of course, sweetie! Come here.”
Immediately after you opened your arms, Seokhee fell right into them, sniffling.
“Seokhee...? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
“I don’t know...! Hyung always seems so mad nowadays and I just want him to be him again~~~!!!!”
Your heart aching, you hugged him tightly and sent him off with Zuho’s little brother to the playground, before marching over to Chani, slapping the back of his neck.
“OW! What the hell Y/N?!!!”
“We need to talk right now, got it?!”
“Yes ma’am...”
Grabbing his wrist, you dragged him over to a tree that currently had no one around it.
“Ok, so what’s-?”
“What the hell do you think you’re doing Chani?!! Do you know what just happened to your little brother?!”
Immediately his eyes went wide and into full-on panic mode.
“WHAT?!! Why?!! Is he ok?! Is he alive?! What happened?!! Oh my-”
“JUST SHUT UP WILL YOU?!!! Seokhee literally just came to me crying, because of you! Do you know how sad he was?! Do you know why?! NO! He’s sad because you’re always so angry all the time! AND I AGREE!”
He turned right then, running his hands through his hair before screaming right back at you.
“How else am I supposed to feel?!! You know how I feel about Yerin!! Ugh, I’m so sick of everyone!”
Sighing, you just patted his shoulder awkwardly. What else could you do as the sister of the groom? But in anger, he just shook your hand off his shoulder before shoving you away.
“DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME Y/N!”
“I’M NOT! BUT GUESS WHAT?!! You’re being a total asshole, you’ve terrified your little brother, and today isn’t even supposed to be about you!! It’s my brother and best friend’s wedding day and I sure as hell am not going to let you ruin their happiness. I get that you’re depressed and shit because you’ve liked Yerin since forever, but save that for tomorrow! If you ever truly liked her, then you will be fucking happy for her!! She specifically asked you to do the brother-sister dance with her because she trusts you, dumbass! I tried to tell her, but she didn’t believe me! So don’t ruin today for her, GOT IT?!!”
Did you care that Chani was staring at you in shock? No. Did you care that your voice cracked like ten times in that whole rant? Not in the slightest. Did you have every right to be mad? Yes. Did your heart crack with every word of your argument? Yes. Why? Because you have had to watch the only guy you have ever had a crush on fall head-over-heels for someone that was totally OFF-LIMITS!
It took a couple seconds for Chani to recover from his obvious shock. He'd been best friends with you since forever and he knew that you were usually the one person who kept her calm and was usually the only cool-headed person in a shit situation. But when you were pissed? You were pissed as hell and you were going to go the fuck off on everyone. Nodding, he held out his pinky. "Okay. I promise to try to not ruin today for Yerin or Rowoon." You just stared at his pinky for a solid minute before finally linking yours with his. "And you know that I will kick your ass to hell if you don't?" He just smiled at you, rolling his eyes. "Of course!" And just like that, the problem was solved. Or so you thought.
It was finally time for the brother-sister dance. From your seat, you watched as Yerin took Chani's hand. Even if she and everyone else in the room missed it, the look of glee on Chani's face as soon as her hand touched his was as obvious as a neon yellow elephant. As depressing as it was for him, Chani was like a brother to Yerin and she had never had feelings for him. Not even once. Rowoon squeezed your shoulder from where he sat on your right. He was one of the two people who knew about your feelings for Chani and he and Hwiyoung had teased the hell out of you for it for the past two years. Yet you managed to shrug it off every time and eventually, it was forgotten by everyone but your own heart.
"Noona?"
Looking down, you saw little Seokhee with a flower in his hand.
"Yes sweetheart?"
"Can you dance with me, please??"
Laughing, you looked at Rowoon. You were supposed to do the dance with him, but who can resist a eight-year-old? After all, if you rejected him now, it could scar him for the rest of eternity.
"Of course sweetie! But you do know which dance this is right?"
The little boy just beamed at you cheekily.
"Yup! I really, really want you to be my real noona one day!"
Trying to ignore what that meant, I took the little boy out to the dance floor and we just jumped around like idiots. Who gives a damn about a waltz?!
What if he's serious? If he wants you to be his real big sister then he probably wants you to marry Chani!! Oh what the hell, he's only eight! Meaning he has no idea what he's talking about! Get your head out of the gutter Y/N!!
Shaking your head, you desperately tried to shake all of these stupid thoughts of your head. But-
"YAHHHHHHHH!!!"
Spinning around, you turned to see Yerin holding her leg tenderly while Chani stood over her.
"Noona, what-"
Quickly, you covered Seokhee's eyes and hid him behind your back. If he saw his brother like this, who knows what might happen??
"Chani, what-"
"ALL I'VE DONE IS WATCH THE TWO OF YOU!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS?!! THAT'S IT!!"
And he took off running, hair an absolutely atrocious mess. Hwiyoung ran up to you, hair all messy and lipstick kisses covering his face.
"Y/N!! What happened?! Is Yerin ok?! What the hell just happened?!!"
Trying not to gag at his alcohol-reeked breath, you shoved Seokhee into his arms before trying to talk Rowoon out of killing Chani for spraining his wife's ankle.
"YAH KIM ROWOON! Sit your ass THE FUCK down and take care of your wife, dammit!!"
You didn't even care that the whole ballroom was looking at you. You just knew that you had to find your shithead for a best friend before he did something even worse. Running out, you chucked off your heels to the side and took the stairs, all while pulling your hair out of the way into some sort of messy bun.
"KIM CHANI WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!!! BECAUSE YOUR ASS IS SO FUCKING DEAD!!!”
By the time you made it to the final flight, you were dead tired, your voice was practically gone, your feet were aching, and you still hadn't found him. But what you saw next literally made your heart stop.
"CHANI!! DO NOT MOVE!!"
Your heartbroken best friend stood right on the edge of the roof, looking out into the night sky.
"Look at that Y/N, the stars are waiting for me to join them."
You had no idea what the hell you were going to do and you wanted to sock him in the face but you really couldn't. As much as you really wanted to kick his ass off the roof, this was someone's life. And it wasn't just any someone. It was the boy who you’d liked for two years.
"Chani? Talk to me. What's going on?"
He laughed, turning around to look at you, looking as happy as ever. But his eyes? They betrayed him with the most heartbroken gaze imaginable.
"What's there to talk about, Y/N? You don't understand how I feel at all! How much it hurts to know that the girl you love is head over heels for your best friend! Who else is out there to like a guy like me? Who do I have to live for?"
"ME! CHANI! WHAT ABOUT ME?!! Just step away from the edge, please!!”
Your voice literally sounded like a dying whale, but you didn't care at all. Tears streamed down your face as you inched closer to him.
"You don't understand Y/N!"
"YES I DO YOU SHITHEAD!"
Your voice was so ragged, you had no idea if he could even hear you above the wind. But you had to try, you just had to.
"Don't lie to me, Y/N."
"I'm not lying, you asshole! You say that I have no idea how much it hurts to know that the guy you like loves someone else. But did you ever ask me?!!! NO! Do you know how much it hurt to hear you go on and on about Yerin?!! About how pretty she is?! How talented she is?! How kind she is?! How smart she is?!! How perfect she is?! Do you know how much I wanted to hear you say those things, about me?!! NO! BECAUSE YOU NEVER STOPPED TO WONDER HOW I FELT!! Do you know how much it fucking hurts to watch the guy you like want to commit suicide over the girl he likes that isn't you! OBVIOUSLY NOT!"
Wiping away your tears furiously, you walked closer to him, watching his eyes go blank, dead even, as you came closer. And you slapped him as hard as you could. Not your usual playful slaps. Not your 'you dumbass' slap. But a slap filled with hurt and anger.
"You know what, Chani?!! If you really want to die? FINE! Just know that if you die right now, you're leaving behind a girl and an entire family who cares about you for you who you are. And that girl is not me but the girl who you hurt on her goddamn wedding day!"
Turning on your heel, you tried to ignore the blood gushing from the heels of your feet, the sweat that basically dripped off of you, and the tears that streamed down your face, blurring your vision.
Chani watched your retreating figure limp towards the door, tears in his eyes.
"Chani, look! I got 96% on my statistics project!!"
"Wow, you're soo smart Yerin! Congratulations!"
"Why, thank you!"
And then you came running down the hallway and basically tackled him in a bear hug.
"CHANI I GOT 100% ON MY GODDAMN STATS PAPER!!"
"YES Y/N! YOU GO GIRL!"
"Why the hell am I friends with you? XD"
"Wow, Yerin's such a good singer!"
"Pfft, Y/N could literally kick her ass if it was singing competition!"
"Chani, why do you always defend Y/N but you have a hugeass crush on Yerin?"
"Because she's my best friend and she comes first."
"Dude, are you sure you like Yerin?"
"There is no way in hell I'm wearing that! I look like a pig in dresses like that! Give it to Yerin!"
"But I picked it out for you..."
"Chani that face does not work on me."
"Ok, but seriously! Stop downgrading your beautiful self and strut your stuff because you know that you're the baddest bitch out there!"
"Ugh, why does Rowoon get everything?!! I just want him to lose to me for once!!"
"It's not the worst thing in the world to place second you know..."
"But it's always to him! I just want to beat him at something for once! I know! I'll make Yerin fall for me instead of him! That's perfect revenge."
"That's the shittiest idea I've ever heard."
"But it's my shitty idea so too bad."
You had always been the one. The prettier one. The smarter one. The more talented one. The one that had always been there to cry on, lean on, and tell shit ideas to. That's when it hit him. He'd only liked Yerin to rub it in Rowoon's face that the girl he liked had fallen for him instead. And his thirst for revenge had completely blinded him to the girl that had been waiting for him.
"Chani, you're friends with Y/N right? Do you think you could introduce me to her?"
"Why? What do you want from her?"
The other guys in the locker room joined in, lost in their own disgusting fantasies.
"Dude, she's innocent right?"
"If I was the first one to touch her-"
"Just think about it! She'd just follow because she doesn't-"
"She's totally clueless and-"
"WOULD YOU ALL JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP?!! SHE DESERVES TO BE RESPECTED AND I'LL NEVER INTRODUCE ANY OF YOU TO HER!"
"Oh really, lover boy? What are you going to do about it?"
And that's how Chani ended up never leaving your side since college started.
You had finally reached the 13th floor on your way down, but your foot was absolutely killing you and you had 12 more to go. Opening the floor's corresponding door, you saw the waiting room of an office?
Hell yeah!
You already knew that Chani wouldn't jump. Why? Because if you made him feel guilty, he would apologize first before doing anything else.That was just the kind of person he is. But before you could take a single step, you were swooped up into the arms of Chani.
"You're such a klutz, Y/N."
"What the- PUT ME DOWN!"
You screamed, smacking his chest while yelling curses at him.
"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU AND-"
But you were cut off by Chani pressing his lips to yours, effectively cutting you off as you were shoved against the wall, legs wrapped around his waist. His lips were soft, yet they managed to surround yours in a single second. He was everywhere, moving slowly yet efficiently, teeth nipping at your lower lip, breath tangling into a knot of anger, hurt, and... love? Despite his lips leaving a burning trail on your neck, you shoved him away by his shoulders, giving you space to just breathe.
"What the hell Chani?!! You cannot just kiss me out of the blue like that!"
"Can I if I ask you to be my girlfriend?"
What the hell?!!
"NO! I don't want your pity! I don't want you to do whatever the hell you're doing just because I said that I like you!"
"And who said I didn't?"
You just stared at him, shock written all over your face.
"How stupid can you get?!! You can't be madly in love with someone and just jump to someone else within minutes!!"
"I never loved her, Y/N! It was always you! Every time I described her, I was describing you! This whole time, it was all fake! I just wanted to take something from Rowoon for once, beat him at his own game. And I was so blinded by that anger for revenge, that I completely missed my perfect girl, you."
You couldn't say a word as he stared at you, his eyes boring into yours. He knew how you felt and you knew how he felt, but why were you waiting? You couldn't accept it just like that! So you did what Kim Y/N would do and punched him in the shoulder as hard as you could, shoving him away from you and letting you stand on your own two wobbly feet.
"YOU ASSHOLE! I can't just brush away how hurt I've been just like that! AND YOU ALMOST KILLED YOURSELF OVER HER AND YOU EXPECT ME TO JUST SAY OK?!! NO CHANI! That's not how it works!!"
He sighed, frustrated at how stupid he'd been. If he hadn't been so stupid, you'd be smiling and laughing, Yerin wouldn't be hurt, Rowoon wouldn't hate him, and little Seokhee wouldn't be so sad anymore...
"Then let me prove it to you, I just need two minutes. You can have as much time to think as you want and we can go slow as a snail through mud, but after two minutes."
He watched your face as you pondered the offer. You knew you wanted to kiss him, but was it really that smart?
"Please Y/N, just two minutes."
Oh well, it's just two minutes, right? Nothing that bad can happen in two minutes. It wouldn't change anything.
"...can we set a timer?"
You didn't even have a second to breathe as you were thrown onto the couch of the office's waiting room, before his lips crashed onto yours.
"Chani-"
"Shh, don't speak..."
His voice was low and rough as he whispered in your ear, body lowering down to rest between your legs. He knew exactly how delicate you were, despite your tough act. Again, his lips surrounded yours, teeth nipping your lips ever so gently. Any sense of time or conscious thought vanished as his presence overwhelmed you.
You were completely helpless against him. You were totally out of your element, this being the second kiss of your entire life. All you could do was respond as best you could, gently biting his lips and leaving a trail of butterfly kisses down his neck as his lips left bruising marks littered across your collarbone. 
But what felt like a few seconds, was over when he forced himself to rip away from you, trying to catch his breath as he looked at you looking like a hot, beautiful mess on the couch under him.
“Listen darling, I know I look great but you don’t have to stare at me so openly! It makes me feel self-conscious...”
And that’s all it took for you to shove him away and march towards the stairs, limping and bleeding. Sighing, Chani gathered you up in his arms, despite all your cursing and complaining.
“Look, you can be all ‘I’m a strong, independent woman’ after I get your injured, clumsy ass down the stairs, ok? Feel free to look like you caught the bad guy, because guess what, darling?”
He leaned in closer to your ear, and you could feel his hot breath against your ear. It was just air, but it absolutely burned.
“I found the other half to my broken heart. And she’s the only half I’ll ever need.”
A/N: ok so... AHHHHH OMG its OVER!! kinda sorta super embarrassing to write but at the same time, who tf cares?? and this was kinda based off of the wedding scene from brigadoon, which has an amazing soundtrack btw:)
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