#it's so disheartening. this was my last chance for this show. i needed a win and i got a bigger loss than i thought possible

[allsassnoclass]

...

#the unfortunate embarrassment of being a theater major and showing up to a read through for my favorite show at a community theater and only #having one line to say #and then not even getting to be in most of the ensemble numbers i wanted to #the amount of tears i have shed over the past two months trying to coordinate this whole process so i will be happiest #only for it to end with me still incredibly disappointed in a way that i couldn't prepare for because i didn't know it was possible #it's so disheartening. this was my last chance for this show. i needed a win and i got a bigger loss than i thought possible #genuinely auditions are so bad for my self-esteem at this point #like. am i really that delusional about my skill level??? am i so much worse than i think i am????? #and if i'm not then why has this been happening to me for Years #anyway. feeling melancholy about this. #my advice to people considering going into the arts: don't do it unless you genuinely can't see yourself doing anything else #because it is incredibly hard and incredibly tiring and you will struggle a lot more than you'll be successful #so you really need to be sure that the successes are fulfilling enough for you to make it worth it

[stayandot8]

Y(our) World

Genre: angstangstangst

Relationship type: established boyfriend/girlfriend until they're...not

Important Contents: reader getting jealous and lashing out at Chan, igniting a breakup that neither wants to happen; letting the intrusive bad thoughts win

a/n: I'm sorry that I'm not sorry. this hurts me more than it hurts you, I promise.

WC: 3.2k

masterlist l part two

The TV was filling the room with a silent buzz, the picture coming into focus of my boyfriend and his group members, performing at some music award show. They all had their own ways of performing, each striking in their own way. My eyes flitted to each of them, lingering always on the boy I loved. The way he moved usually left me breathless, always causing my brain to short circuit. This time was no different, watching them move as one unit, each a moving piece in a bigger machine in their performance. 

Curled up on the couch in his shared apartment, I grabbed my phone, ready to send him my usual text straight after a performance. 

Me: You surprise me every time you perform. I don’t think I could ever get tired of it.  

Usually watching them would fill me with pride, knowing he was mine and he was so good at what he did. Tonight was not the case. All I could think about was how busy he was this month. It was performance after performance and appearances at music awards. I couldn’t be prouder of them, truly. But this time, this night, I felt the pang of sadness hit me out of nowhere. Watching them move across the stage accepting their award, I couldn’t help the thought process I fell down. Wow, they look so good tonight. Oh look! He’s talking to that girl from that group he likes.  I wonder what she said to make him laugh like that. Wow, she’s really pretty… I don’t think I could ever look like that. Her whole group is really stunning. I bet they’re having a great time. They probably have so much to talk about…

That was when it hit me. I was never going to understand him and his job like she would. Like any of them would. The pressures of his work, the hardships he was facing, I could try. But I was never going to get it. Not like he deserved. He deserved to have someone that could do that for him. 

Deep in thought, I brought my empty plate to the sink, mindlessly washing it. My mind was a wasteland of thoughts, each bouncing from one disheartening idea to the next. The occasional ‘no, he’s not like that’ would come in, only to be drowned out by the opposite. 

Was all this important to him? Would I want to try and fit into his world like that? The answer was an immediate no. 

Done with the dishes, I shuffled my now heavy feet back to Chris’s room, desperate to quiet my racing mind. Maybe I should bring this up to him… This was my last thought on the subject before I passed out, not even bothering to pull the blanket over me. 

***

I was pulled from my unsuccessful slumber by the sound of movement across the room. I pulled my sleep-deprived eyelids apart to see Chan moving things around on his desk and mumbling to himself, his back to me. 

“Morning.” I said quietly, my voice still hoarse from disuse. He turned to me with a grimace. 

“Morning, baby. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep.” His voice was quiet, probably from his own exhaustion. 

“Actually,” I said, sitting up and groaning in the process. “There was something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Oh okay. Can we talk about it while I grab something to eat? I only have a few minutes until I need to be back at the company.” He nodded and gave me a half smile before he exited, expecting me to follow suit. I huffed. 

“Okay…” I said to myself. So it’s going to be one of those days… I crawled out of the sheets and slowly made my way down the hallway, following the familiar smell. I emerge to find Chan rustling around in the fridge, more mumbling to himself. It made me smile at his turned back. I have to give him a chance, right? I took a deep breath to gather my courage. 

“Chris?” He paused his ruffling and slowly turned to me, his eyes wide like a child caught stealing. 

“That sounded serious. Okay, I’m all yours.” He closed the fridge and brought his full attention on me, his hands folded on the kitchen island. HIs eyes scanned my face for any indication, which I refused to give him.

“Well, just watching you last night, it made me…well… I was wondering if there was any way you could bring me with you tonight?” His brows lifted in slight surprise then fell.

“I’m not sure I can bring you actually. I don’t know what the rules are for that. I can ask though, but I make no promises, okay?” I nodded, not knowing what they could possibly say about it. Their company was weird about these sorts of things, it would be hard to predict. “Okay, I’ll ask when I get in, alright? I’m off.” He crossed the room to peck me on my cheek then left without a look back, the door mocking my annoyance as it shut. 

I got a phone call from him about two hours later. 

“Okay, they said you could come but there are a few rules we have to abide by. You can’t sit with us, which, trust me, Han is more upset about than anyone else.” He earned an involuntary chuckle from me. 

“I figured I couldn’t sit with you guys so that’s no surprise. What else?”

“Unfortunately, we can’t talk to you alone either. Something about cameras seeing you and getting suspicious. I don’t know but I already hate it. You pretty much can’t act like you know us. And we have to act the same.” I didn’t know what to say to that, so I stayed silent. 

“I know, baby, I don’t like it either. But this was what they told me. If you want to come, I’d love for you to. But I understand if you’ve changed your mind. They’ll send a car for you at six. They’ll wait ten minutes for you and then they’ll leave. It’s up to you. I hope I’ll see you there. I have to get back now. I love you.” 

“Love you.” I hung up before he could, now with a decision to make. It wasn’t really a hard one. Of course I was going. Now it was just a matter of what dress I would wear. 

***

Riding in the car was so awkward, it was a wonder I wasn’t out of my mind by the time I arrived at the venue. Stepping out in the highest heels I owned, my dress was hitting the pavement behind the very, very loud space. It was a wonder anyone could think straight in there. I followed the manager assigned to me as she led the way through to my place at a table far away from anyone else. Once we found it, she gave me a curt nod and left me to my own devices. Grabbing the back of my chair, I surveyed my other companions, each near to their seat as they conversed with those around them. 

The space was grander than any I had seen before, everywhere I looked there was another person I had seen on TV, another face plastered on billboards in the outside world. The stage was massive, different microphones spread across for everyone to grab as needed. The tables were all covered in white tablecloths, water bottles at every setting. I moved from heeled foot to heeled foot, trying to find some sort of friendly face that I could talk to. Everyone looked engaged in their own conversations however, so I simply sat down while I looked at the placecard in the middle of the table, simply saying ‘Reserved’ on a plain white card. 

A good-looking young man sat next to me, waving to the man he had just finished talking to. When his eyes finally reached me, he gave me a once-over as I did the same to him. He whistled. I was taken aback, raising a brow to him. 

“So you’re dating an idol too, huh? I can see why.” He smirked at me, a glimmer in his eye, full of knowing. My eyes squinted at him in suspicion. 

“How’d you know? Is this the ‘I’m dating an idol but no one can know’ table?” I leaned in towards him, ready for him to tell me if this statement was true. He nodded sadly, not knowing that his nod would send me into a spiral for the rest of the night. 

“This is my sixth time at one of these things. Everytime I see her ignore me, it kills me just a little bit. And it doesn’t get any easier unfortunately. But seeing them perform still fills you with pride, doesn’t it? As long as that feeling never goes away, you two will be just fine. Trust me.” I nodded in agreement, letting my thoughts wander again. How many times would I be invited along? Would Chris even be able to see me from up there? Would he even be looking? That was the moment I saw them walk in, all eight of them bowing and clapping as they settled in at their table across the room. I watched him, my chest getting heavier as he sat with his brothers. All around him, other members of other groups would stop and talk to him, casting his contagious smile to them as they talked. It should’ve made me proud but I couldn’t help but feel as though a balloon had popped and I was deflating. Soon I would fly around the room, praying I would land in front of him so that he would look at me. As the third person left him at his table, I watched him pick up his phone and type furiously. He then raised his eyes to roam around the room. I hoped he was looking for me. My phone then buzzed on the table.

Channie ❣️: Where are you? Are you here? Please say you’re here

My fingers were slow to pick up my phone, my response coming too slowly to me.

Me: Yes, I’m here. Good luck. I know you’ll win.

I watched him read my text, his face confused. Han nudged him, a questioning look on his face. I could read his lips asking what was wrong. Chan shook his head and pushed him away before going back to his phone. His fingers flew across it again. My phone buzzed. 

Channie ❣️: Where are you?? I can’t find you

Me: Don’t worry about it, I’ll see you after. Smile pretty for the camera

That girl I had seen the night before came by his table again. I felt my heart quicken its pace, my swallow not quite going down easily. She gave him that easy smile I had seen on the TV, even prettier in person. He returned her easy smile, standing to return the hug she was inviting him into. The small gasp I emitted made the kind stranger turn to me again, his eyes following mine. 

“Ah, I see. I hate to be the one to tell you, but she’s been known to flirt with him at these shows. She’s had the biggest crush on him and she hasn’t been the most discreet about it.” My hands had clenched into fists, not able to take my eyes off the two of them talking. Every so often she would laugh and place her hand on his shoulder. The more I watched, the more irritated he seemed. But being the kind gentleman he was, he didn’t remove her hand from his body. It took everything in me not to stomp across the room and remove it for her. I couldn’t help hearing the blood boil in my veins, the pounding in my head inescapable. I couldn’t get a handle on my breathing until she walked away, her delicate hand lingering a little too long on his arm as she walked away. I watched her walk back to her group of girls, a sly smile on her lips the whole way. If I could make daggers with my eyes, she would’ve been flat on the floor before she even made it two steps. But I still couldn’t get this man seated next to me and his words out of my head as the show went on. 

She’s had a crush on him.

Maybe he wanted to be with someone who understood his life better than I did. She was an idol too, she knew the path and the hard work it took to make this career work for herself. I bet they wouldn't have to hide their relationship like we have to… 

The show went by quickly and before I knew it, I was back in the silent car being driven back to Chan’s apartment. I thanked the driver and his companion and slowly trailed to the familiar front door. I opened it, falling into it behind me as it shut. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, willing the tears not to fall, daring them back into my skull. I didn’t want Chris to see what I had been thinking. He always told me I was a terrible poker player, my thoughts always written on my face. I shook my head, telling myself I wouldn’t cry, I couldn’t. 

I trudged back to Chan’s room, kicking off the heels I had been so excited for him to see me in. Now they simply mocked me for what my hopes had been for the evening. I started undressing in the hallway, desperate to get any expectations I had off of me and deep in a drawer, buried and forgotten. 

I opted for my own clothes, grabbing my bag to pack what I needed. I decided I was going to sleep at my own place tonight, I didn’t… I couldn’t be around him tonight. He would get me to say everything I didn’t want to say with one look, one ‘are you okay’ would get me to spill my whole mind in front of him. But I wasn’t quick enough. I heard the front door close and slumped, bracing for the impending conversation. 

“Baby?” He called out to me, his voice drawing nearer to my location. I didn’t respond, opting to quicken my pace for packing. If I didn’t care about folding anything, if I left my toothbrush here, I might be able to get out before he asked too many questions. My plan was foiled quickly as he rounded the corner right into his bedroom. I couldn’t face him as I continued. If I had turned I would’ve seen his shoulders falling and confusion in his puppy eyes. “What are you doing? Where are you going?”

“I think I need to sleep at my own place tonight. I just don’t…” I couldn’t finish the thought aloud, afraid I would say something I might regret if I didn’t leave now. I zipped up my bag and made for the door, unable to meet his eyes. He stood in my way, not letting me move. I backed away, staring at the carpet. “Chris, please move. Let me out.”

“No. What happened? Did someone say something to you? Please, baby, talk to me.” He placed his hands on my shoulders, similar to what that girl had done to him…

“Please, just let me go home. We can talk later.” I finally gathered enough strength to actually push past him and head for the door. I didn’t get far though before his voice stopped me again. 

“Was it that girl that stopped me? Did you see her keep touching me? God, I wanted to rip them off of me.” I said nothing. I would be fine if I could just make it to the other side of that door…

“So I guess this means you’re not coming to any other award shows then?” I stopped in my tracks, only a foot from my target. I took a shuddering breath, still fighting those damn tears. 

“At least she knows what it’s like, huh? She knows what you’ve been through better than I ever could. She appreciates all the work you put into everything you do. She wouldn’t text you late at night wondering where you are or miss you in the darkest hours of the night, trying to understand that you love what you do.”

“What are you talking about? Where is this coming from?”

“I don’t belong in this world, Chris. In your world. I just can’t see where I fit. I never have and I don’t want to.” I still couldn’t face him, whatever I was going to say next would be my own undoing. Those tears finally escaped as he uttered his next words. 

“What’re you talking about “my world”? You are my world.”

“I don’t belong here. No one knows me, no one cares who I am. I just need to remove myself from the picture altogether so you can be with someone who understands you.” I wiped my tears then reached for the handle again, the grip on my bag tighter than ever. He rushed over to shut the door before I could open it, shoving himself between me and my saving grace. 

“No. That’s not happening. There’s no way I’m letting you go.” He tried to force me to look at him, but I shut my eyes and moved as he tried to grab my chin. I was quiet, choosing my next words carefully.

“Then I need to let you go.” My soul was being crushed the more I spoke, my resistance evident if he looked hard enough. He was quick to respond, grasping at anything to change my mind.

“But I refuse to let YOU go. You can think that but I will never stop caring about you, thinking about you, loving you. I will not let you walk away from this. I will fight for this. Why aren’t you fighting for this? What’s gotten into you?”

“Because sometimes the cost of battle outweighs the prize to be won. I am tired of having this same argument with myself. I can’t keep doing this. I don’t want to have to give up parts of myself to fit into a world I don’t want to be in.” He got quiet. His confusion was written in every crevice of his face, his eyes searching me for some sort of explanation. The next words he spoke were slow in disbelief. 

“So you’re just going to give up on us?”

“It’s too much work for me. Is it not exhausting for you?” I finally looked into his eyes, begging him to understand what I was saying beneath it all. I closed my eyes, exhaustion taking over my bones. His voice was low and shaky. 

“Not for me. Not when it’s you.”

That was when the dam broke. I fell against the wall, my knees giving out and crumbling underneath me. I buried my tears in my hands, the heaving becoming involuntary. I broke, my breath coming in shorter spurts, leading to inadvertent shakes taking over.

“That’s not fair.” The words choked their way out in between sobs. He was hunched over, eyes never leaving me as his own tears broke through. He lowered himself next to my hunched form, wiping his wet face. 

“It’s not my world without you in it.” A quiet pause, only the sounds of his sniffles and my sobs heard throughout the room. His voice was small, still shaking as he whispered,

“Just don't leave me.”

#bang chan angst #chan angst #chan scenarios #chan fic #bang chan #christopher bang #bang chan x reader #chan x reader #chan x you #bang chan x you #chan x y/n #chan fanfic #skz bang chan #stray kids x reader #chan stray kids #stray kids chris #stray kids #stray kids angst #chan imagines #bang chan scenarios #bang chan imagines #chan drabbles #bang chan x y/n #bang chan fanfic #bang chan fic #chan skz #skz scenarios #skz boyfriend #skz #skz angst

[fmdjoosung]

crowned 2 interview 1

how do you feel on your group’s final ranking from the first round?

“i’m quite upset about our ranking. i felt like we had done quite well, so it was disheartening to find out the final result. in the moment, it had felt like i’d failed my team and everyone who supported us, but i’ve come to see that i need to continue believing in candy, because this is only the beginning.”

what are your thoughts on the artist and song you’re covering?

“um... honestly, i haven’t had much time to think about it, with the song switch and everything. we’ve had to work twice as fast to prepare the stage the last couple of days, and we’ll have to continue to work like that until the performance day. thinking about it now, ddu du ddu du is quite opposite to candy’s style, while we’re bringing candy charm alongside it, so i hope they’re able to combine well for the viewers.”

what do you intend to do differently this round from the first round?

“i’ve wondered, since the announcement, what it is i’ve lacked in that i can improve upon for this round. while the result isn’t what i had hoped, it’s only encouraged me more to wipe out my weaknesses as an idol.”

how have rehearsals been going?

“since the ranking announcement, they’ve been very fast paced. before the ranking was announced, i believed we were coming to a good point in our rehearsals, so i hope that we are able to get back to that same place soon.”

after the first round, who do you predict will win the show (other than your own group)?

“if there’s something i’ve come to learn through this first round, it’s that we can’t predict the winner. all of the groups here come with their own strengths, and all have the chance to show the right angle of themselves that can win. i’d still like candy to win, though, which means we’ll have to find the right angle first.”

what are your thoughts on your penalty? how big of a roadblock do you feel this will be for your group?

“the penalty is a massive roadblock going forward. our preparation time has been cut in half, which not only affects us, but all of the staff that make our performances possible as well. i obviously wish this wasn’t the case, but we’ll work hard to push through the roadblock.”

#famedcrowned2 #interview #event

[aradhya21]

Hardik and his team are the ones who started this journey

Five-time IPL champ Hardik Pandya on Sunday said his most recent victory, while driving amateurs Gujarat Titans, is something the approaching ages will discuss.

Hardik's group covered off a fantasy crusade in its lady season by lifting the Indian Premier League title with a seven-wicket prevail upon Rajasthan Royals in the last here.

"This title will be an extraordinary one since we discussed making a heritage. The approaching ages will discuss it," Hardik said.

"Everybody will recollect this was the group who began this excursion and to bring home the title first year is exceptionally unique."

The Gujarat Titans' victorious captain said he realized he planned to bat at number four for the beginners after they completely finished the super closeout in front of IPL-15.

"At the point when the sale got done, I realized I would need to bat at No. 4," Hardik said at the show function.

Hardik has come out on top for four IPL championships with Mumbai Indians.

Gujarat's profoundly evaluated bowling assault, drove by captain Hardik (3/17) himself, restricted an imposing Rajasthan Royals batting unit to 130 for nine subsequent to losing the throw.

Gotten some information about his bowling, he expressed, "Needed to show brilliantly what I've really buckled down for. Today was the day according to the bowling perspective I saved the best for something good.

"Second chunk of my spell when I got Sanju (Samson) out, saw that assuming you hit the wicket hard and hit the crease something is going to (going to) occur.

"Everything unquestionably revolves around adhering to the right lengths, requesting that the hitters play the right shots."

Hardik, known for his large hitting capacities, controlled his going after sense to some reach out during the competition, focussing more in directing his group with his completely relaxed administration.

"For me my group is the most significant. I've forever been someone like that. If I somehow managed to have a more terrible season and my group wins, that's what i'll take. I will take the prize any day over striking at 160. My group starts things out for me."

Talking about his batting, he said, "Batting starts things out to me, continuously going to be near my heart."

Hardik has partaken in a marvelous disagreement his new IPL season with his home establishment. In 14 innings, he has scored almost 500 runs at a normal of 45.30 while likewise getting a lot of wickets, which has procured him acclaim from many quarters.

Player of the Tournament, Jos Buttler, for hoarding 863 runs, said he has "surpassed every one of my assumptions separated from today".

"... The prize we truly cared about. Disheartened with that. Large congrats to Hardik and group. Meriting champions. I will probably assume my part for the group and attempt to respond on the day in regards to what the game is requesting that I do," Buttler said.

"In great groups you have a ton of confidence in everybody. We have colossal confidence in everybody in our group. Exceptionally thankful for the potential chance to play today. Disheartened - that is totally normal."

Despite the misfortune in the last, RR chief Sanju Samson was pleased with the manner in which his group played through the season.

"This season is a truly extraordinary for us. We have had the option to play great cricket and give fans a few blissful minutes. Every one of the youths, seniors played well collectively, I am glad for my group," Samson said.

"We accept quality bowlers win you the competition. So we put resources into them. With Jos playing all through 20 overs, my job was a piece unique. It was a respectable season for me, pleasant 30s and 40s and 20s. Yet, there is a ton to learnt. Furthermore, colossal congrats to Gujarat Titans," he added.

#IPL 2022

[realcube]

ARCADE

summary ★ she needs to get the action figure that's in the claw machine for her sister’s birthday, so saiki does her the favour of using his a telekinesis to win it...along with a few other favours.

trigger warning ★ gambling, god, swearing, fem!reader & reader has a younger sister

construction on the new arcade near pk academy had finally come to an end. the grand opening was today after school so of course, nendou suggested that they attend as a squad. usually, saiki tried to avoid getting roped into outings like this but for a change, he actually agreed without the need for any further prying. that's because the arcade was attached to a small cinema where they'd be premiering the latest action movie — based on the TV show adaptation of the game — 'Olfana's Story X-2'. as it turns out, a few months after saiki gave the game a shot, it became a craze and a massive hit among speed-runners. so from it's new-found popularity, they developed a TV show series which inevitably flopped so now they have created a movie. only the most elite people among the gaming community were allow to see it before the official release date and they all said it was incredible; but there was not a doubt in saiki's mind that they were being paid to sing it's praise. a crappy game turned into a crappy show, now adapted into a movie was sure to be crappy. so you may be wondering why he even wanted to view the movie if he was set on it being awful. Well, there are two simple answers; curiosity and the mystery. since it was so exclusive, he had yet to overhear spoilers through his telekinesis and he now had a germanium ring in his possession so he could watch the movie in peace. also, having played the game but not seen the show, he was curious to see how bad the movie is going to be and perhaps he'd be able to get a good laugh out of it. but he made the mistake of mentioning his plan to see the movie which screened a few hours after the opening of the arcade, as now kuboyasu, nendou and kaidou were all going to see the movie along with him. In theory, it shouldn't be a problem since he'll have his germanium ring on but in practise, the world seems to be against saiki so one of his friends will probably end up stealing his popcorn or chatting throughout the entire movie. he'll just have to wait and see. kaidou and nendou did not even stop to take breaths as they raced on about how excited they were while they were all walking to the arcade. "i'm sure the movie is going to be sick!" kaidou exclaimed, followed by rapid head nods from nendou as he replied, "yup! And i can't wait to see what sort of games they have!" saiki was a bit excited himself but he didn't care to show it like the others did. but when he saw the vaporwave building covered with bright neon lights come into view, his lips curled into a small smile. though it was short-lived as he noticed the massive queue to get in; it appeared as though they weren't the only ones who had the idea to visit the arcade after school as he noticed many familiar faces standing in line, amongst crowds of others. all of their cheery auras dissipated for a few moments until kuboyasu perked up, approaching the doors to the arcade with a smug smirk, cutting in front of everyone in the line and gesturing for the boys to follow him, "don't worry about the queue, guys. follow me." nendou followed without any further questions but saiki and kaidou were a bit apprehensive. all three of them watched as kuboyasu stood shoulder-to-shoulder with the guard by one of the doors, muttering something in the man's ear, causing him to sweatdrop and hesitantly open the door with a shaky smile; allowing all four of them inside. "woah, that was awesome, aren!" kaidou yelled, not only out of awe but so he could be heard over all the cheering, laughing and game noises from inside the arcade. "yeah, that was so cool! but what did you say to that guy? he looked freaked out!" nendou inquired, surprising saiki with his actually intelligent observation. kuboyasu's hand found it's way behind his neck, rubbing it awkwardly as he chuckled, "oh, nothing! it's not important-- hey! how about you guys start playing your games and i'll go get the tickets we reserved, yeah?" "yeah!" kaidou and nendou cheered in unison, high-fiving the purple-haired boy before the all ran off in different directions, leaving saiki standing alone at the entrance. he fidgeted with his germanium ring, contemplating taking it off as he stared at kuboyasu; he really wanted to know what the teen boy could've said that'd incite such fear into a grown man, but he decided against it — merrily making his way towards the claw machines, leaving kuboyasu's secrets alone. ★★★★★★★★★★ "shit." he cursed under his breath as he watched the cyborg cider man plushie that he's been trying to win — for yuuta — for half an hour straight slip out of his grasp once again. 'these things are rigged. and what's the point in having psychic superpowers if i can't use them.' he thought to himself but had to quickly shake off the idea, as there was no way he could risk using his powers in such a crowded place, especially for a plush that wasn't even for himself but rather for an annoying kid. he sighed, slipping another coin into the slot and about to find the right state of mind until he heard a loud "fuck!"  from in front of him. his head jerked up, scanning the area for the source of the noise until his eyes landed on you. the claw machines were lined up, back-to-back, and playing on the machine diagonal from him was a girl with enchanting (e/c) eyes which contrasted greatly with her disheartened expression as she stared at the box. the only emotion she wore was sadness as she stared at the machine, so out of curiosity, saiki slipped off his ring in order to read her thoughts; feeling no guilt in listening to the affairs of a complete stranger. 'c'mon, stupid claw machine, i need this!' your silky yet whiny voice rung through his mind, 'what's she gonna think about me tomorrow when i tell her that i couldn't get her the gift she's wanted? she's gonna hate me- even more than she already does. and now i've spent all my money on this silly game so i can't even try get her a crappy gift with the little money i had. Wow, (y/n), you're the worst big sister in existence.' saiki cocked his head to the side, peering through the glass of the machines to see the contents of the claw machine you were standing in front of and when he saw the limited edition, silver cyborg cider man action figure sitting on a pedestal — almost as if it was taunting the poor girl — he finally connected the dots. your hand dug through your pockets until you found the smooth metal surface of your final coin, 'just once more try. if i win her this action figure, maybe she'll finally respect me as her big sister! and this toy will surely make her more happy than any gift mom could've possibly thought of. i'll make her sixth birthday one to remember!' the dejected look on your face slow lifted into a determined one, but it wasn't very convincing as saiki — and anyone else — could see the worry and shame in your eyes as you dropped your last coin into the slot of the machine, giving you one more chance to redeem yourself and claim the title of 'best big sister in the world'. saiki watched you maneuver the claw of the machine with bated breath, admiring how your pretty nose crinkled and your tongue poked out from the corners of your perfectly glossed lips in concentration — 'ew, stop being a simp, kusuo.' he mentally rebuked himself before engaging with your scene one again. your fist slammed down against the big red button, followed by the claw opening and lowering over the box of the cyborg cider man action figure, slowly closing it's jaws around the box and grasping it perfectly, resulting in a slight gasp to escape your throat as your lips pulled into a grin. the claw kept it's grip in the toy as it lifted up, slowly making it's way over the hole where it would drop the action figure, straight into your possession.  that is, if the grip didn't falter hence allowing the toy to fall down, off it's pedestal and onto the bottom of the compartment to join the rest of the more average action figures. "fuck!" you screamed in an almost identical way to which you did earlier, expect this one held more pain. 'this can't be happening; is this the third year in a row that i'm going to show up to my little sister's birthday party empty-handed?' you thought, your bottom lips quivering so you quickly bit down on it, staring at the damned toy before turning on your heels, shuffling away from the game with your head hung low, the thoughts which cried in your head about how much you budgeted and how hard you worked made saiki's heart sink. 'maybe i could take out a mortga--' your thoughts were abruptly cut off when you heard the noise of something falling behind you. whipping your head around to see what happened, you exhaled a sigh of relief upon seeing nothing out of the ordinary. however, you caught a glimpse of inside the machine which you had been cursing at and realised that the toy wasn't with the packaging peanuts where you left it, as if it magically disappeared in the few seconds you had averted your gaze. creeping up to it, your gaze darted around in search of anyone who might've won it in less than 5 seconds but that was unlikely. now that you were closer, you peered through the glass once more to confirm that the toy was in fact missing and you were right. recalling the noise of falling you heard just before you turned around, you dropped to your knees and lifted the flap to the compartment which held the good that people would win from the machine. you almost screamed with delight and shock when you laid eyes on the limited edition, cyborg cider man action figure that was tucked snugly inside. yanking it out, you pressed it to your chest and the tears you were choking back finally came running down your cheeks, but now they were from joy. "thank you, god." you whispered to yourself, making saiki chuckle from his spot at the claw machine which he hadn't moved from. he wasn't god — nor was he friends with god — but he didn't mind not being able to take the credit for his kind actions of using his psychokinesis to drop the box into the hole for you. honestly, he found that seeing you happy, sitting on the floor with brightest beam gracing your features along with your now cheerful thoughts in his head, was enough of a reward for him anyway. also, he appreciated how you didn't question how the box ended up in the hole and instead you just deemed it a miracle as you were too overjoyed to use logic; that sort of thinking saved saiki a lot of trouble. 'i should probably go home and wrap this.' your internal monologue had now calmed down slightly as you were now able to produce a thought that wasn't just a squeal of delight, 'hm, maybe once i am done i could come back and see the new movie that's premiering-- but i've not got much money left so i guess i shouldn't get ahead of myself.' you hummed, picking up the box along with yourself, dusting yourself off before heading towards the exit. saiki must've been staring for a tad too long though as you caught his gaze while brushing off your clothes. he cringed, instinctively darting his eyes away so you didn't think he was an ogling creep but the fact he appeared defensive probably didn't help. so he fully expected you to frown or cast him a dirty look, judging him for his actions but to his surprise, you simply chuckled. waving at the pink-haired boy before strolling off with the box under your arm. 'he seems cool. where i can get clips like those?' why were you thoughts making him blush like an idiot? time to put the germanium ring back on. ★★★★★★★★★★ as it turns out, nendou is surprisingly good at poker. he figured this out after he stumbled across the casino section of the arcade, and since he looks way older than seventeen, nobody questions it when he took a seat at one of the slot machines, under the impression that it was a fancy, old-timey arcade game. he was then offered a round of poker with some old dude with way too many gold teeth and nendou ended up taking the poor, stubborn guy's entire fortune. god-knows how many games with how-many people later, nendou was sitting on stacks of cash at a round table with a tired dealer, and two grown men — one crying into the shoulder of his arm-candy and the other weeping into the sleeve of his suit — while the three boys who had came to give him his ticket stood by, all wearing matching confused expressions. "uh, nendou." kuboyasu tapped his friend on the shoulder, waving the ticket in front of his face, "the movie is gonna start soon, we should start heading over there right now so we can buy snacks and get good seats." nendou raised an eyebrow, puzzled until he recalled that he was supposed to watch a movie today, "oh, that sounds cool and all but i'm having a lot of fun right here." he smiled, motioning to the large casino area. kuboyasu chuckled awkwardly, backing away from nendou slightly as he turned on his heels, ushering the two other boys away, "alright, well, have fun, nendou! don't stay out too late!" nendou sung an okay in response, sliding a kaidou some cash for the extortionate theatre snacks before he was rushed away by kuboyasu, the purple-haried boy not wanting to spend anymore time in the casino than needed. "if nendou isn't joining us for the movie then we have a spare ticket. here, saiki, you should have it!" "why me?" "uh, because you said you saw reita earlier. so if you see him again maybe you could offer him the spare ticket." 'absolutely not.' was vocalised as "sure." by saiki as he took the ticket from kuboyasu's outstretched hand, fiddling with it before stuffing it into his pocket along with his own ticket. "what i said to nendou was kinda an exaggeration" aren mused, glancing at his watch before looking up at his two pals, "we still have some time left before the movie starts. i'm gonna go handle some business — you two have fun, and try find reita!" kuboyasu said before pivoting on his heels in the direction of the staff only closet. the only thing saiki could think to do during this free-time was escape kaidou's pestering to play dance dance revolution — since saiki didn't want to dance, dance or revolute, he darted outside as soon as kuboyasu left, leaving kaidou alone and confused in the middle of the arcade. 'finally, fresh air.' saiki inhaled, filling his lungs with the cool air rather than the stuffy, arcade oxygen. scanning the surrounding area, his eyes caught a glimpse of a figure standing by the ATM, which he immediately recognised to be that of the girl he had helped earlier. so naturally, he flicked of his ring to figure out the reasoning behind the awkward look on her face. 'do i really want to withdraw money to see some stupid movie? i mean, i could leave that money to accumulate and buy something nicer later.' without thinking, saiki hummed in agreement with your thoughts as he had been in your position many times before. 'but then again, i should treat myself! when was the last time i saw a movie that wasn't pirated? hmm..' your indecisive thoughts matched perfectly with your conflicted expression as you stared through furrowed brows at the screen of the ATM. a soft breeze passed, followed by something light smacking against you face. you winced slightly, your hand snapping your cheek and grabbing at whatever it was; just by the texture, you could tell it was paper. holding it in front of you, upon further inspection you realised that the mysterious sheet that had flew into your possession was in fact a ticket to tonight's showing of 'Olfana's Story X-2'  row G, seat 9. you double, triple checked it out of fear that this may be a cruel prank but no, this was completely real! you cheered, bouncing up and down and away from the ATM since you no longer needed it's services as god had blew the desired item straight into your hands — or your face, rather. either way though, you were over the moon, clutching the ticket to your chest and basking in your second miracle of the day. unbeknownst to you, saiki's smile was almost as wide as your own. you thanked god for your relief and saiki had no problem with that; seeing your little happy dance and squeals with your free ticket was enough for him. but actually, perhaps he might benefit himself after all, since the ticket he had given you previous belonged to nendou. meaning that saiki was seated at row G, seat 10; right beside you. ★★★★★★★★★★ saiki forgot to send a few notes flying your way in the wind, so you walked into the theatre and took your seat, completely snackless since you couldn't afford the exorbitant prices that they sold food for at the cinema. but perhaps that wasn't all bad as it revealed the possibility for saiki to offer you some of his popcorn as a conversation-starter, as he's usually not too good at socialising with new people — forget starting a conversation. however, he didn't need to work up any sort of courage to talk to you as the first thing you did when you plopped down in your seat beside him was turn to him and chirp, "oh, you're the guy i saw at the claw machines earlier! i love your clip thingies." your buoyant-adrenaline allowing your to be more bold than usual. the movie had yet to start, low murmurs of chatter coming from across the theatre as the trailers played in the background, "yes. and thanks." 'good grief, curse myself for not being more talkative. she probably thinks i'm dull now. perhaps i should channel my inner nendou..if i have one.' instead of ending the conversation right there like he assumed you would, you continued talking and saiki was..glad? why did he want to interact with you so much? he spends most of his days trying to avoid interacting with people; why were you any different? "no problem- also, did you get what you were playing for?" you inquired, tapping your lip in genuine curiosity. his ring remained on his finger, despite the fact he wanted to know what you thought about him, he didn't want to invade your privacy any more than he already has. "no. did you?" "yeah, i did, actually!" you chirped, not noticing the smirk creeping onto saiki's lips as you were too engulfed in your memories, "i thought those games were rigged but maybe they're not 'cause i managed to win this super special action figure that my sister has been on the top of my sister's wishlist for like- forever! and her birthday is tomorrow so i'll be a--" you cut yourself off, crinkling your nose in embarrassment, "sorry, i'm over-sharing, aren't i?" your enthusiasm made his heart flutter in a way he wasn't used to, if you didn't know any better, he would have thought he was having a medical emergency. his eyes widened slightly as you halted in your speech, "no, you're fine." he said, the uncharacteristic softness in his voice catching the attention of his two pals sitting on the other side of him. you shook off his comment, "i mean, i'm telling you my life story and i don't even know your name." you said, laughing sheepishly at the reality of the reality of the situation. 

“saiki kusuo.” he blurted out without a second thought.

you blinked a few times, shocked that he’d give his details away so easily as you somewhat expected him to be more of a reserved type of guy but evidently, you were wrong. “uh, i’m (l/n) (y/n).” you choked, biting down on your bottom lip slightly before continuing you story as he seemed to wait expectantly, “as i was saying, today’s just been the best day ever! everything has been going so well, i’m a bit scared as to what is going to happen when it hits midnight.” 

saiki nodded along, popping a piece of popcorn into his mouth before remembering his plan, “oh- would you like some?” he asked, offering you some popcorn from his bucket. unfortunately, the plan was a last-minute thing so he had only bought a small, but he still wasn’t opposed to sharing. 

you shook your head, trying to grin foolishly wide at his kind offer, “no thank you.” 

saiki nodded, about to open his mouth to reply until the blaring music from the beginning of the movie started, putting a swift end to your conversation — despite the fact saiki would much rather talk to you than watch the crappy movie — out of theatre etiquette. 

★★★★★★★★★★

it was worse than you or saiki could’ve ever imagined.

it was painfully trying not to burst out laughing right in middle of it or lean over and giggle in each other’s ear at the silly dialog but out of respect for the other people in the cinema, you both stayed silent and just cast each other occasional knowing glances whenever something cringey happened on screen. 

you both let out audible sighs of relief with the credits began to roll, accompanied by a slow indie song. “that was..something.” you mumbled, grabbing your purse and jumping to your feet, wanting to exit the building as soon as possible and hopefully leave your memories of the movie behind you. 

“definitely.” he snickered, absently flicking the side of his empty popcorn bucket, “i stopped paying attention once i finished my popcorn.” it felt weird to vocalise — or rather, telepathically communicate — the comments he’d usually keep to himself; why did he feel so comfortable speaking to someone he only just met?

he began gathering his things, stuffing all of his rubbish in the bucket so he could dispose of it all at once. his mind was fixated on crappiness of the movie and how a five-year-old could’ve shot a much better film, until you grabbed his attention by calling out his name, followed by a question which made him blood run cold.

“before i go, it gotta ask’ how’d you do it? or more importantly, why’d you do it?”

he blinked several times before putting on his best bewildered expression, with the idea that maybe if he played dumb, he could gaslight you into thinking that it never happened or that he had nothing to do with it. “what?”

“oh, don’t give me that!” you scoffed, narrowing your eyes at the boy, “i’m not stupid. every time something good happened to me, you were nearby. i’ve connected the dots so fess up. why did you do all those nice things for me? was it out of pity or are you that nice to everyone?”

“i’m that nice to everyone.”

“i don’t believe you.” you snapped, fixing your tone when you remembered that even though he was lying to you, he still helped you get the present for you sister and gave you his spare ticket. “i don’t care if you’re not gonna give me a straight answer, but at least let me make it up to you.”

he huffed, an unimpressed look covering his features before you even proposed your idea. there was really nothing he could possibly need from you. what were you going to give him that he wasn’t capable of obtaining on his own? so he frowned, ready to decline your offer. 

“i saw that you bought one of those jelly pots from the snack stand and i actually work at a little café in the town, so i might be able to get you few things for free or discounted?”

“yes.” wait, that wasn’t refusal. 

“great!” you chirped, glad that you wouldn’t have to pry further, “does later this week sounds good? we could meet up here then i can walk you to the café- or i could give you my number and we can arrange a date later?” 

“sure.” saiki said without thinking once again.

but it wasn’t as though he regretted it when you slipped the piece of paper you had scribbled your number onto, into the front pocket of his shirt, tapping it with a smile. “alright! i’ll see you later then- unless you want to walk home with me?” you fidgeted with your fingers slightly, instantly regretting what you just came out with. not because you didn’t want to walk with him, but due to the fact you highly doubted he was going so say accept so you mentally prepared for the impact of his harsh rejection.

“sure.”

★★★★★★★★★★

BONUS 

saiki ended up walking home with some girl he met at the theatre so that left kuboyasu and kaidou to fetch nendou once the film finished. they both searched the casino area for almost half an hour but neither of them had any luck finding nendou. that was, until kuboyasu had to take a step outside to escape the casino as he noticed an old friend of his playing on the slot machines, and he found nendou crouched by the garbage cans, on his phone. 

“nendou! we’ve been looking all over for you- why are you out here by the trash? and what happened to all your money?!”

nendou chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck with his spare hand, “fun story actually. i was doing so well and i was on my way to becoming a millionaire until these schoolgirls came marching in and absolutely slaughtered me! it was so embarrassing and the only way i could escape them was by running away so i hid back here.”

kuboyasu’s aura just screamed ‘disappointed but not surprised’, “so you’re telling me that you lost millions to highschool girls?”

“they might’ve been middle-schoolers, i’m not too sure. i didn’t get a very good look at ‘em but they were all wearing creepy red uniforms.”

all kuboyasu could do was massage his temples to ease his headache at the stupidity of his friends, “so you lost all your money to school girls in creepy red uniforms?” he repeated aloud, just to make sure he was hearing things correctly.

“yes. but not all my money.” he said, pulling out his wallet and grandly opening it to reveal a few notes and a button, “i’ve still got enough to spend on ramen with my bros!”

#the disaster of psi kusuo saiki #saiki headcanons #saiki kusuo no psi nan #saiki no psi nan #saiki k x reader #saiki x reader #kusou saiki #saiki imagines #kusuo x reader #kusuo saiki x reader #the disastrous life of saiki k. #saiki k headcanons #psychic kusuo #kusuo saiki

[honey-milk-depresso]

Chubby (Azul Ashengrotto x reader)

First non-headcanon! Just a fluffy oneshot! I hope you enjoy this one! Thank you for taking time to read and I really appreciated that you guys enjoyed reading the whole Octotrio with a moe gap s/o, it really means a lot to me since I’m like, 3 days new! Now on with the oneshot! (Jade, Floyd, Azul ; moe gap series)

“ Azul..?”

“Please, don’t disturb me, y/n.”

Azul seemed to be really disheartened by the fact everyone (well not really but it felt like it) saw his overblot form. He really didn’t like the fact that everyone saw how disgusting his octopus form was and that you probably thought like that too.

He stated before that he said he’ll get over it, but really he didn’t. He can’t get over the fact that others saw his true form, and that you too saw it as well. You were the last person he ever wanted to show his mer-octopus form too. It was utterly humiliating and embarrassing and because you were his crush, he thought he screwed up and had no chance of winning your heart anymore. All that friendship had gone to waste, he thought.

To you, Azul was a magnet. He draw you closer to him. His smile, his intelligence, his compassion and his soft side all seemed so...perfect to you. In your eyes, he was perfect. The face you displayed to him when he overblot wasn’t out of fear of how disgusting he looked. No, not at all. It was out of worry for the mer-octopus. His overblot would hurt him, thus you were frightened for his life. And now after the events, he locked himself away from you and continued to drown himself in more work.

The twins demanded asked for help, since you were the only person besides them that was closest to Azul.

So now you were at the door of his office, which was locked shut.

“Azul, please let me in. I don’t want to see you like this. I don’t want to know your like this now. I’m worried for you, you know?”

You were worried for him?

He slightly opened the door. He silently thanked himself for having dim lights so that you wouldn’t be able to clearly see the puffy eye bags and bloodshot, sky blue eyes.

“Y/n, please understand. I know I said I would get over it, but-” he hesitated, “but I really just really need time to, just, you know-”

“And that’s why I’m here.”

“Moving on his hard, yes, Azul. And you can’t fight it alone always. Talk to Jade, Floyd, or...me.”

He stayed silent for a moment. “I just- ever since the overblot I- I just- the look on your face when you saw my true form, my disgusting form. I thought you hated me, and saw truly how- how horrible I look. how horrible I- I am.” his voice cracked. It hurt him. The look on your face.

“Azul..” You couldn’t bear to see him like this. Your best friend, crying. Your crush, that was crying. Because you gave him a false impression.

“Now you’ll only think of me as some chubby, disgusting, crybaby of an octopus.”

You forcibly grabbed his two hands, which he yelped in surprise.

“Listen to me, you silly octopus. I personally don’t care on how you look. You are a brave person, someone who pushed through despite what your past did to you. You should know, how valuable and wonderful you are to be in this world. I love you for who you are, and I don’t regret saying it. Whether in your human form or octopus form doesn’t matter to me because you are Azul. You are special. And you are perfect to me. Besides, I think your octopus form is really cute because your chubby and squishy.”

He was taken aback. Part of him wanted to cry, because that was just so touching. Part of him was embarrassed because, you found his octopus form cute?! Because it was chubby and squishy?!

He blushed so hard, while hot tears just stream down his face as he looked at you in both disbelief and embarrassment. 

“Cute? Chubby? Me?!”

“Yes, yes you are cute.”

“W-w-wait. When, um , you said you loved me did you really...?”

Ah, now it was your turn to blush.

“I, well-”

“Did you really mean it? To say that to... someone like me.”

“Someone like you, anyone would want to say ‘I love you’ to you, Azul.”

“I-”

He paused before bringing you into a hug. 

“Thank you..” he whispered.

You hugged for a few minutes, before you pulled apart, staring into each others eyes. 

“Koebi chan~ when are you gonna kiss the boss~?”

Oh shit, that fcking-

“FLOYD-”

“Fufufu~ it seems we have witnessed such an intimate scene. To think our dear y/n could make Azul break into tears from an accidental confession. How cute.”

“HOW LONG HAVE YOU TWO BEEN STANDING THERE?!”

“Long enough~”

The eel twins look at you two with sinister grins.

Welp, now you and your chubby octopus have to deal with this now.

#twst #twst azul ashengrotto #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland azul ashengrotto #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst azul x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #twisted wonderland azul x reader #twst oneshot #twisted wonderland oneshot

[wrctings]

enjoy some jean hurt/comfort <3 i have such strong feelings about supportive boyfriend jean, i believe he has self-esteem issues so he would always do his best to try and lift his partner’s spirits because he knows how painful it is to feel like you aren’t good enough

Your fingers gently ran upon the horse’s rough brown coat, lengthily stroking its muscular neck, then flank, petting your trusted companion with all the care you could snatch away from a whirlpool of unresting thoughts. Coming to the stables whenever you had a short break and needed to clear your head had become a habit of yours soon after you first joined the Cadet Corps, finding that caring for the troops’ horses was, of all jobs, the one that better succeeded at putting one’s mind at ease. Though you couldn’t sneak out food—Sasha’s joy being worth the risk!—, unlike when designated for mess duty, nor glimpse through slits in cupboards and doors to your curiosity’s content like whenever you were assigned to cleaning, visiting the horses always came with a sense of peace cast on you by the presence of the loyal stallions that would affectionately nudge your raised hand or acknowledge your presence by a quiver of the ear, watching you walk up to them with a profound and voiceless understanding in the depth of their dark pupil. You had jointed the military for the sake of humanity—but sometimes, the weight of what lay ahead for young Cadets such as yourself hunched over you so heavily that the urge to get out burned every sore muscle in your body. Your experience in the field amounted to a near-death mission with your fellow 104th soldiers; a mission during which you had barely been able to get a hold of your actions, let alone your fear, so how could you trust your abilities knowing that all you'd ever done was memorize information, practice hand-to-hand combat and learn to ride a horse, only to find yourself barely able to twitch a frightened limb when you confronted Titans for the first time? When tumbling down into the flames of hell, what could you do? What would you do when you’d have to go back?

“I guess today’s just not too good,” you murmured to your horse, your hand absentmindedly running over its nape; your gaze dropped, out of focus. “And look at me, taking care of you when I might send you to your death... I wish I could promise you that I’ll always protect you, but the truth is, I don’t have the faintest idea what it’s like out there,” you admitted so quietly, the horse’s audible breathing must’ve drowned out your sorrowful confession. “I guess today’s just not really good.”

You attempted to give the animal a reassuring smile, but it came out crooked, disheartened. Your hand slipped from its side, and your body gave in, sliding down into a sitting position. 

“Y/n.”

Just as your eyes had closed, your breath slow and shaky, out of tempo, you were called back into the picture you so desperately hoped to abscond; if only for a minute’s eternity, if only for an instant’s strike of oblivion...

But there, hope itself came to you.

There was the tranquil earthy path that wind up to the stables, the green crowns of leaves nodding off in the late afternoon breeze, shuddering lazily, and the horses shaking their mighty manes. And there was Jean, at the front of the picture, setting on you hazel eyes bright with concern and taking a seat beside you. 

“Jean? What are you doing here?”

Jean, whose sole name crushed your heart into a billion sharp pieces, leaving you trembling with terror in the middle of the night, when the story would repeat itself all over again in the dark, when you saw yourself coming face to face with Titans again, paralyzed with gut-wrenching fright... Because what if when the time came, you wouldn’t be able to save him?

“Hey, I could ask you the same,” his hand instantly rubbed your forearm, the young man pressing a worried kiss into your temple. “I... I don’t know, I felt a bit weird. I thought I’d come here and hang out with the horses for a bit.”

“Join the club,” a sad chuckle of yours brushed Jean’s jacket, your head falling upon his shoulder, which he made available to you by slouching his tall frame; his fingers still worked their way over your arm, circling comfort into your tired body. 

You wrapped your other arm around Jean’s torso, silently asking him to come closer, and he took you in his arms, pulling you toward him, his lips leaving an imprint on the top of your head. “I’m here.”

“I’m sorry. I... To tell you the truth, I have no idea what’s going on. Does any of this even make sense?”

Jean’s eyes widened, as if you had stricken a blow to his chest; he had never heard you—the luminous, hopeful, and kind you—talk with such blunt defeat breaking the usually inspiring melody of your voice. 

“Of course it makes sense, Y/n. You feel down, so you came here, it’s—”

“That’s not what I meant, Jean. I mean, what we do, does it even make sense? Lately, it seems we’re not going anywhere. We barely survived last time. Look at me, am I in any shape to fight Titans? I can barely hold myself together. Back there, when I saw them this close I... It’s like I forgot everything we were taught. I wanted to run and hide, hell, I didn’t even think about humanity. When I joined, I wanted to make my life meaningful. But what if the truth is, there’s no chance at winning, and everything, including this—our lives, this fight—is nothing but a waste of time?” 

The arms holding you tightened, as if you were threatening to slip away from them any instant, swept away by the wind, blown to pieces if Jean let you go...

“You know, Y/n, I was shitting myself back there. I had no control over the situation, and even less control over myself. For all that big talk... I was a coward,” Jean's smile arched in a sad curve, armor of pride crumbling down. “A coward, through and through. I wanted to save myself, and you guys too, but my fear was stronger than anything else. If Marco hadn’t been there to knock some sense into me, I don’t know what stupid thing I’d have done.”

“Hey, you’re far from being a coward,” your heart squeezed painfully at the thought of your boyfriend’s self-doubt, and you broke away from his grip to run your thumb over his cheek, tracing there the paths that guided your words straight to his tormented soul. “You overcame your fear, without you leading us, we wouldn’t be here today. You’re braver than you think, Jean.”

“But so are you. You may think you didn’t do much when we confronted those Titans, but that’s far from the truth. Remember how you helped Armin come up with a plan beforehand? And when you made sure to check up on everyone after we made it out alive, and how you chose the safest route to get us out? And you’re amazing in training. That time none of us knew what we were really in for, but now we do. Next time, you’re going to show these monsters how we do it in the 104th, yeah?” Jean’s kiss trailed on your forehead before leaving a soft prickle upon your lips, his hands resting on your back like the warm breath of an everlasting fire, thawing the icy swords of despair that pierced through you. “To me, you’re already everything I wish I could be.” 

Leaving a quivering thank you on the back of Jean’s hand, where you kissed it intensely, the whinny of a nearby horse suddenly took you both by surprise, bringing the stables back to life all around you.

“Look, the horses agree with me,” Jean’s fond smile met your gaze, the boy gesturing toward the talkative animal. 

“I love you.”

“Are you talking to me or them?” The boy grinned, playfully pushing your head with his.

“Although I’m very fond of these horses, I have to admit there’s one among them I love most of all. That would be you, horse-face,” you smiled back at your boyfriend, pulling him into another kiss; lighter and youthful, like you were meant to love at fifteen, in a world less cruel.

“I love you too. It’ll be dinnertime soon, do you want to go?” Jean offered kindly, taking your hand in his to help you get up.  

You followed the track leading you away from the stables, Jean’s arm securely put around your shoulders, keeping you by his side, and he took care of talking your affliction away with some funny thing he had noticed in the boy’s barracks, of course covering the subject of Bertholdt’s sleeping position thoroughly. 

Hope, some might say, is what one holds dearest to heart regarding the future—one’s dreams, one’s projected happiness, the ticklish and fizzy feeling one might encounter when trying to glimpse a distant good time in the fleeing fabric of time. Or maybe hope is that one overwhelming pang to the chest—the one pushing you forward when all seems lost, making you hold on for dear life with all broken set of nails because what if something you’d never heard of yet might be worth all the goddamn pain? Maybe hope doesn’t belong in a shape, or a dream, or something one might grasp; perhaps hope is, after all, just that one pang. A pang strong enough to keep you going for another day, and then another one. For you, it came from the boy who sat beside you and gave you something to look forward to; something as simple as the wish to see him the following day.  

#jean kirschtien #jean kirschtein x reader #jean krischtein imagine #jean kirschtein fanfiction #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan x reader #aot x reader #aot imagines #snk x reader #snk imagines #writing #my writing

[inadaydream99]

hello! if it’s okay, could i please request a skz reaction where they reject you but end up regretting it because they realized they really you? if it’s too much, maybe a member of your choice? thank you so much! and please do not rush! take as much time as you need!

Hi, thanks for requesting! I made this quite fluffy, but a few are angst and I also did all members because I couldn’t pick just one 😂 I really hope you enjoy!

Chan

The humiliation was real. Being rejected is more embarrassing that you think, especially when it’s by one of your friends.

You’d had a crush on Chan for a very long time. You’ve just never said anything until now in fear of rejection and, as it turns out, you should have just kept your feelings to yourself.

You couldn’t even look at him as you heard him mutter “I’m sorry.”, nodding your head in responce as it hangs low.

It’s been a few days since then and you’ve not stopped replaying the scene in your head since. Your mind is literally torturing you, making you cringe and you just end up stuffing your face into your pillow in a weak attempt at repressing it.

Just as you’re finally about to fall asleep you hear a knock on your front door, whining as you sit up on your bed before dragging yourself to see who could possible be visiting you.

Your breath hitches when you open the door to reveal Chan stood on the opposite side. He looks nervous, swinging back and forth on his feet impatiently. Your eyes lock instantly and for a minute you feel like you are dreaming.

“Do you believe in second chances?” He breaks the shocked silence, a relieved smile growing on his face when you nod yes, still in a daze.

“Then I’d really like to take that chance. I regretted letting you go without telling you how I really feel.” Chan continues, slowly becoming more confident and bubbly with each passing second.

“I guess you’ll have to tell me now then.” You tease with an elated grin on your face.

Minho

Minho hated himself for pushing you away. He hated himself for being the reason you are upset. But most of all he hated himself because he is so madly in love with you and he ruined any chance to tell you.

That is until he has an epiphany while moping around. If you won’t listen to him or respond to any of his messages, then he’ll just have to find a way to win you over, a way that you can’t ignore.

“I may not show it often, but you mean everything to me!” Minho shouts up to you from the middle of the street.

It 2am and freezing outside, but he doesn’t care. He’s finally been able to get your attention by throwing pebbles at your window and playing your favourite song on full blast through his speaker, what a cliché moment.

“I’m in love with you.” He shouts at the top of his lungs.

The cheesy grin on your face can’t possibly be hidden. You never thought you would ever see Minho do anything like this. Risking everything just to tell you how he feels.

“I love you too!” You shout back, letting all your worries go and just living in the moment.

“Can you two be quiet!” You hear a voice shout out. One of your neighbours must have grown tired of all the noise.

You both snicker at one another in giddy amusement, feeling like devious kids. Partners in crime.

You signal to Minho that you’ll be down in a minute, rushing out of your apartment and down the stairs to meet him in the blustering wind. Ready to start a new chapter together.

Changbin

“I never want to be the reason you’re hurting.” Changbin takes your hand in his, pleaing for forgiveness from you.

What had started off as a lighthearted conversation amongst the group had turned sour pretty fast. It all started because Seungmin asked Changbin if he would ever date you in front of everyone. It wasn’t intentional on Seungmin’s part to cause an argument, he thought it was quite a funny question to ask because you and Changbin have been best friends for so long. But when Changbin said “no” without even a seconds thought you were deeply hurt. Was there something repulsive about you to him?

“Then why did you reject me in front of everyone?” You defensively retort. You’re not impressed with him right now, and rightly so. But you can see the genuine regret he feels which makes it hard to stay mad for very long.

“Because I panicked... I didn’t want you find find out how I feel about you like that.” Changbin mumbles, feeling nervous in his confession to you. He knows that he has to be honest with you now because he can’t stand the idea of losing you completely.

“How do you feel about me?” You encourage him to continue, your body language becoming less defensive as you relax your shoulders.

“Like you’re the only person who’s opinion I care about, that you light up any room you enter instantly... that you are the only one I ever want to be with.” Changbin’s words are heartfelt and you can tell it’s taken a lot of courage for him to say them.

“I feel the same about you.” You manage to respond whilst holding back tears of joy.

Hyunjin

“So I overreacted, I do that all the time!” Hyunjin throws his hands up defensively, his excuse falling on deaf ears as he rants away to Minho.

“But you still rejected (Y/N), regardles of how you feel now.” Minho looks up from his phone to see Hyunjin’s reaction.

“Then what should I do?” He whines, dramatically falling against the table in distress. At least he’d finally stoped pacing the room.

“You go and appologise?” Minho sarcastically states as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Hyunjin just mimickes him, annoyed by his lack of sympathy towards the situation. Though anyone would feel agitated when it’s all Hyunjin has gone on about for the last few days.

You stand in shock having answered the door to reveal Hyunjin and after ten minutes of him apologising and begging for you to give him a chance to redeem himself (a little too loudly for comfort), it’s your turn to speak.

“It’s gonna take a while to redeem yourself, but maybe we can try.” You agree, rolling your eyes playfully when Hyunjin crushes you in a tight hug, repeatedly thanking you for a second chance.

Jisung

“I did the one thing I promised myself I’d never do...” Jisung sighs in defeat. He can barely look you in the eye as he faces the consequences of his actions.

You’d initially been disheartened when he rejected you, but he was sympathetic towards your feelings and gently let you down rather than being too harsh. You even smiled through the pain and embarrassment, agreeing to not let it ruin your friendship.

But that was almost a year ago now. You have moved on from your crush on Jisung and recently started seeing someone new.

So when he suddenly confesses that he has feelings for you, you aren’t too sure how to react. Initially you feel mad because you feel loke he is messing with your emotions. But the longer you have to process the information, the more you understand where he is coming from.

“I don’t want to be the reason you’re not happy, but seeing you with someone else hurts.” He continues, finally mustering up enough courage to look at you and take in your reaction.

“I don’t know what to say...” You sigh, watching as Jisung takes a deep breath and nod his head. He looks like he is preparing himself for rejection, just like he did to you, and that’s what makes it so hard for you to do.

“Regardless of my feelings towards you, I’m with someone else.” Your chest aches from seeing his solumn face, it’s just as painful being the rejector.

“Can I just know... if I’d not rejected you last year, would I still have a chance?” Jisung’s voice is shallow and weak, his eyes glossy from all the unshed tears.

You can no longer speak, feeling absolutely terrible, so you just nod yes, shooting him a meek smile.

Felix

Felix holds the cake outstretched in his hands, sending you a pleading smile. “I’m sorry.” He apologises, a hopeful look on his face.

You can’t help but crack a smile, laughing at your goofy friend.

“Felix why do you have a cake?” You raise your brow. Truthfully, you find the whole situation hilarious, only Felix would do something so endearing and sweet like bake you a cake when he wants to make things up to you.

“A good way to appologise is with cake.” He states like it’s a well known fact. “And I was kind of hoping that you’ll love the cake so much you’ll give me a second chance, because I really like you (Y/N).” He continues, catching you off guard. You’d never expected him to change his mind after rejecting you.

“Well, it is a really pretty cake... but are you sure?” You act coy, not wanting to give your feelings away in case he has another change of heart.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” He admits confidently, an elated grin on his face when you accept the cake and grab his hand, dragging him into your apartment.

Seungmin

“I will fix what I have broken.” Seungmin is so determined to get you back that he almost sounds angry. Even Hyunjin flinches a little at his words, watching silently as Seungmin marches off to find you.

After having confessed to Seungmin a couple of weeks ago, you hadn’t spoken to him since. You just felt too embarrassed and awkward to face him and so your friendship crumbled.

“(Y/N) we need to talk.” Seungmin comes striding into your work, making the small office fall deathly silent.

“Seungmin I’m working right now.” You whisper, your eyes darting around the room self consciously to make sure no one is watching you.

“But it’s important.” He states, shooting you his best puppy eyes so you’ll give into him.

“Ugh fine.” You cave, ushering him into the empty room next door so you have some privacy.

“I like you.” Your eyes grow wide at his confession. Had you heard him right?

“But... you-”

“I know and I’m so sorry. It made me realise that there’s a part of me missing when you’re not around.” Seungmin anxiously explains. His demeanour has done a 180 degree flip now, he looks timid and nervous as he wait for you to process the information.

“I wish you’d realised sooner, but I guess better late than never.” You tease, feeling your heart skip a beat upon seeing Seungmin’s face light up with the most adorable smile you’ve ever seen.

Jeongin

“Caught off guard was an understatement.” Jeongin reasons, trying everything he has to get you to forgive him. But he’s the reason you’re heartbroken, he can’t keep playing with your fragile emotions like this.

“No, you had your chance. I can’t believe you have the audacity to make excuses like this. You humiliated me in front of all my closest friends.” You remain strong, your face void of any emotion, regeardless of how difficult it is to see Jeongin like this.

“Just give me a chance to make it up to you.” He begs. It’s almost pathetic how desperate he looks right now.

“Goodbye Jeongin.” You snarl, slamming the door shut in his face. Jeongin stands defeated on the opposite side of the door. He knows this is what he deserves, but it’s never nice to get a taste of what you dish out to others.

#stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #stray kids oneshots #stray kids drabbles #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids reactions #stray kids scenarios #stray kids requests #kpop fluff #kpop angst #kpop drabbles #kpop oneshots #kpop x reader #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #skz fluff #skz oneshots #skz angst #skz drabbles #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz

[illusionoftheabyss]

A correspondence with my psychiatrist. It’s nice talking philosophy with your shrink. He respects my scholarly work and was the person that encouraged me to write my thoughts on here. He experienced a clinical Ketamine treatment and I had to guide his after glow thoughts and interpret his visions. He saw Ezekiel’s Wheel. He had never even smoked cannabis before so this psychedelic experience was an awakening of sorts. He wanted to know what Jim Morrison meant by “ Break on Through To The Otherside! “meant and I am showing him in this letter.

Doctor,

I have been going back into my esoteric studies of the occult( just Latin for “hidden” as you know) and have been trying to develop more spiritually through my gnosis. I found a book that is very old, and came from an ancient philosopher HERMES TRISMEGISTUS . His work is of the mystery school of HERMETICISM, of which his name is the derived from.

HERMETICISM is my foundation and forgotten roots of theological and philosophical study. I have wandered into various schools of thought as an observer but my internal practice of spirituality was was always guided by an internal knowing and intuition of principles. I just instinctively know these things that I stumbled upon were written down a long time ago that became the cornerstone of the secret society teachings and I think you will find this work profound. Of which the work I am speaking is called “ The Kybalion “ If you have heard of manifesting your own own reality and the powers of positive thinking and the like that is a popular today by new agers, I assure you it is the oldest philosophy. I am going to send you a pdf link to read this work, I read it yesterday and it awakened by new creative power for my next musical endeavor. We spoke last of my creative burnout, but it was of spiritual burnout from reading into the darkness of spiritual wickedness in High Place in our society and I was disheartened and discouraged to view what is happening. But as I stated in our last conversation, the matters of the macroscopic cultural goings-on should not affect us. We create our own outlook and the political theatre is just a mere distraction. Believe me, the Elite know of these Hermetic teachings because they are initiates as well. They are occultists but use sorcery to mold and shape society and that is not the true Path of any initiate into occultism. The Path is to ascend further and further internally throughout our incarnations to build Great Karma and become closer to the Source of the All; Ain Soph Aur: The Limitless Light of God. Ain Soph Aur is a Jewish qaballistic term. To hinder the spirituality of others is breaking Karmic and Natural Law and these “Elite” will reap what they sew.

We have to focus our attention to spiritual progression to win. And I am sharing some of my Gnostic philosophy with you to break through to the other side, doctor. I need you to listen to this song by the band TOOL. It is a beautiful song that I stumbled upon right after reading the KYBALION, and synchronicity is not by way of chance in my view. I had to share this song with you because I believe this piece perfectly illustrates what it means to BREAK THROUGH. Here are the lyrics to study and the link to the song:

We barely remember

Who or what came before this precious moment

We are choosing to be here, right now

Hold on, stay inside

This holy reality

This holy experience

Choosing to be here in...

This body, this body holding me

Be my reminder here that I am not alone in...

This body, this body holding me

Feeling eternal, this pain is an illusion

Alive!

In this holy reality

In this holy experience

Choosing to be here in...

This body, this body holding me

Be my reminder here that I am not alone in...

This body, this body holding me

Feeling eternal, all this pain is an illusion

Twirling 'round with this familiar parable

Spinning, weaving 'round each new experience

Recognize this as a holy gift and

Celebrate this chance to be alive and breathing

A chance to be alive and breathing

This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality

Embrace this moment, remember

We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion

https://youtu.be/mgPUovKIT5g

TOOL are is one my favorite artists in the world and the drummer in particular codes his timing of drum beats with sacred mathematics so the music is very elevating in spiritual vibration and the lyrics really encompass the simplicity of being a soul and what it means to understand the basic fundamental Truth. All of their songs are like this by the by. I highly recommend researching their catalog of music.

So, I have covered the KYBALION and the importance of TOOL’s music, I guess what is next for me is to study the principles of HERMETICISM further. I have been studying the qabalah and the art of true Astrology and Tarot and it is all very interesting. I will link a video of this Rabbi breaking down traditional Jewish Qabalah.

https://youtu.be/Y1AH84vCoSo

Here is a video of a great lecture on the Seven Hermetic Principles and this lecturer is a good guy, although slightly abrasive, he really got me on the Path of awakening many many years ago.

https://youtu.be/1Bs6sWFvJbU

All religions stem from the same Babylonian/Sumerian sources and occult sciences of the Spiritual Alchemist have been hidden from us for so long by secret societies that they have blinded the world from true knowledge and spiritual understanding to create divisions and cults for control and to conquer. I am in the process of rediscovering all of my past research and integrating it all into my waking life and artistic pursuits. When I stumbled on all of this stuff around 2007, I was traumatized because I had no guidance and viewed everything in the occult or hidden world as satanic and it is not. What is satanic is hiding all of this knowledge and keeping it from everyone so that it IS traumatic when you learn about it and experience severe cognitive dissonance when you are programmed by “ BIG RELIGION “ and a brainwashed slave to the SYNAGOGUES OF SATAN ie: The Vatican. I am more mature now than a pothead alcoholic with a severe focus on conspiracy theory and losing my sanity as it were so back in 2006-2007 when I was awakened to all of this. I am now embracing it all and integrating it into my world and I hope you can find the time to look into all of the things I am sending your way, doctor. Everything I have linked is all interconnected and are pieces of a whole ideology and furtherance of self-discovery.

God bless you and I hope all is well. Take your time with these materials and let me know how it all strikes you.

Namaste

- Jeff

Attached is the pdf download link of the KYBALION and here is a link of audio from the Emerald Tablet of Thoth from which the Kybalion is derived from

https://youtu.be/1QtEF0lucr4 - This audiobook is very spiritually transformative. I highly suggest listening to parts before bed or to make time for it.

https://www.globalgreyebooks.com/kybalion-ebook.html - THE KYBALION

#occultist #occultism #occult #gnostic teachings #esoteric #gnosticism #magick #blog post #writers on tumblr #divination #liberty #writerscommunity #writing #psychiartist #psychiatry #psychology #psychedlics #hermetic principles #the book of thoth #thoth #kybalion #tool band #hermetic philosophy #philosophy

[alfredosauce50]

Island Escapade [Ex-con! 2p! America x reader x Denmark] 07

Island Escapade - 07 - She's my collar Wordcount: 2, 877 The reader is referred to as she/her.

"Mathias is missing."

"Save your jokes for dinnertime, Allen. It would've been better to laugh in front of him." You snorted. Without sparing him so little as a glance, you leaned forward to crush a few cloves of garlic under the blade of a knife. He stood at your side with his eyes narrowed into a troubled glare—you could brush me off every other time, just not today.

"I'm not kidding, dollface." He set down the missing man's phone on the countertop in a light clunk. "He's been gone since noon. Dude went awol the second he finished eating. And it's nearly seven."

You lifted your gaze to the device, then to him. It wasn't the first time he did something like this, but now that he mentioned it, his cloud of worry seemed to float right over.

"... Hm. That's weird." Giving your hands a quick wipe, you marched out to the porch overlooking the surrounding beaches. Allen appeared from behind. "You don't think he went to someone else's house, do you? It's getting dark... And the rain's setting in."

"He's not stupid enough to not bring an umbrella, right?" He asked.

One of your eyes narrowed in thought. "Doubt it." Redirecting your line of vision to a spot on the fencing, your words manifested into reality when you saw that your umbrella was untouched. Immediately, you frowned. "What on Earth could he be up to?" The other shrugged with his lips pursed together.

"Maybe he's trying to get your attention by making you worry."

You cracked your neck. "Well, he always was one for theatrics. He'll probably come back soaking head to toe to be dramatic."

You couldn't put it past him to do something like that. Again.

"Ouch." Allen chuckled, following you back inside. "You do this every time he runs off?"

"Yeah, because I'm usually right." Mathias was either straightforward and demanding or didn't say anything at all. Like being dramatic.

There was no compromise whatsoever, but you doubted he knew what the word meant. The man had the communication skills of an egg. "But if he proves me wrong, we have something to be scared of."

Making your way back to the kitchen, you scraped up the chopped-up vegetables and dropped them into a frypan for a satisfying sizzle. Despite your silence, the worry was visibly setting in your downcast eyes. Even he could see it, but he never brought it up until it was time to eat—the last and ultimate test.

If he was late he might as well have been dead.

He never missed dinner or any meal for that matter. And yet, there you sat, halfway through your stirfry. Allen already finished his, now watching you with his cheek resting on his hand. "... You good?"

His brows were slightly furrowed.

You kept your head down to prod around your plate absentmindedly.

"Yeah... He’ll turn up."

As the minutes droned by without him, the plate next to yours grew colder and colder. What was once hot and piping had cooled off and hardened. The generous serving of what you made—double of what you had—was no longer as appetizing as it used to be.

"Listen. He's not showing up."

He watched you glance up slowly. What he blurted was disheartening, but he couldn't take how depressed you looked.

"... You're wrong. He always shows up." You murmured faintly, unable to return his steely gaze. As you continued, your trust in your own words completely disintegrated.

"It doesn't matter how late it is."

Your stubbornness was just a front. Allen saw right through it. Digging his hands through his dark maroon hair, creases formed between his eyes as he hesitated to continue. But he had to do what had to be done. "Sorry, it had to be me, doll."

He raised an index to point at himself. "Look me in the eye and tell me he's gonna show up." You didn't budge. "That's what I thought. And what did you say his bedtime was? Nine. It's nearly eight."

A brief silence fell as you both shared the same thought.

Mathias was like a kid.

Allen felt worse to know you used to date him. Even now, he could see you worrying yourself to death, but you made no effort to admit it.

"Look, if you’re scared, then you’re scared. But he’s a hardy guy, ain’t he? If I can fit into his clothes, then he’s got a good chance of surviving without eating his veggies for the night."

There it was—the glimmer of hope in your eyes as you lit up to what he said. It was exactly what you needed to hear. The comfort you couldn't bring yourself to ask for. After all, Mathias's absence impacted the atmosphere more than you and Allen cared to confess.

But for you, it hurt more than you could fathom.

A few hours later, there was still no sign of him appearing. You were patient, however, and continued to sit in the living room. But desperate was the better word as you fixated on the door. Where was he? Was he okay? The muffled sound of a toothbrush stopped, which was followed by the hum of the faucet turning on.

Out walked Allen in his pyjamas. His underwear. You had long given up on telling Mathias to not do it. And you were too exhausted for Allen's antics. "You should get some sleep, doll. We'll sort this out tomorrow." The couch dipped to your right. "Or do I gotta sit here all night too?"

You bit your lip for a deep frown.

"No, you go to sleep. I'm not letting you do this because my stupid ex can't look after himself." A sigh fell from your lips. "You're not responsible for anything, and I wouldn't be able to sleep, anyway."

He rose a brow. "Okay, fine. But who said you had to be responsible?"

"Me."

Allen clicked his tongue. "I know you care about him, but I have to be frank." He turned to you with a softened gaze. "There's nothing you can do but wait til' morning. We can look for him when we can actually see."

Why did he have to put it like he was already dead?

You practically launched yourself into his arms, much to his surprise. Tightening your coils around him, it didn't take long for you to feel his strong arms around you. He wasn't used to being appreciated, but damn, did it feel good. "Aw, haw haw. Gimme some. Let's hug it out."

"If he comes back alive, I'm gonna kill him." Your voice was no higher than a whisper to stop it from cracking. When you realized what you were doing, bile rose in your throat.

"You can kill him all you want when he gets back, and he will." Allen pet your hair softly. Given the height difference, he could rest his chin on the top of your head. "Don’t cry over that dumbass. He doesn’t deserve it."

"But you don’t understand—" Pulling away to rub away some stray tears, the effort ended up in vain as more streamed down your face. "—we were still fighting today."

His eyes drooped in sympathy as you finally spilled. "Why did he have to fucking disappear when I was already ignoring him? He was trying to talk to me for days but I never even looked at him...!"

You sucked in a sharp breath to hold back a sob, then to replace it with a laugh. "About how good his cereal was, or how bad the weather was—or, or a funny video or something just as stupid."

All Allen could do was dab tissues over your face, so he huffed out a soft sigh. Hearing it only made bottling everything in harder. And it showed in the tremble that seized your body.

"C’mon... Don’t be like that." He pulled you in again, unable to bear the sight. Hearing it was bad enough.

God, were you a mess.

He’d never say it out loud, but it turned him on more than anything. Hugging you tighter as the warmth flurried more in his chest, he felt something wet spread over his tank. You were so vulnerable, and to be here when you needed someone—he never felt closer to you than now.

"I'll be however I wanna be. This is just how it's always been with him." You admitted bitterly through a glare. "He pulls something, but I'm the one who ends up feeling bad. I can’t win arguments! And you have no idea how many times it’s happened."

Never had he witnessed such raw honesty and ugly emotions from you. Allen just never imagined Mathias to be the cause of it. But then again, you had a history with him he was never privy to.

For just a moment, he felt like crying too.

"You gotta stop beating yourself up. Shit happens. But I promise he'll show up. I got a feeling we aren't getting rid of him this easily."

You sniffed. "You really think so?"

"I know so."

The next morning, you were awakened by the buzz of your phone. Rummaging under your pillow to find the source of those obnoxious vibrations, you pulled out the device to find yourself staring at the line, "No caller ID" across your screen. With little hesitation, you answered it. Inside, you prayed and prayed it was who you thought it was.

"... Hello?"

"(F/N)! It's me!" The voice piped. "Gah, thank god you picked up!"

Your heart soared as you sprung up.

"Mathias?! Is that you?"

"Who else could it be, kæreste? Of course, it's me! I just wanted to let you know I'm okay! A little lost, but okay!" He spoke breathlessly. Now, the Danish pet name and unnecessary amount of shouting? You couldn't mistake it for anyone else.

Immediately, a huge wave of relief washed over you. But it was short-lived.

The fear burned away into a livid kind of fury.

"What the fuck, Mat? I was worried to death!" You screamed. You could practically imagine him holding the phone away while cringing at the volume. But it was merely a taste of his own medicine.

He laughed. "Sorry, sorry. It's a long story, but I promise to tell you everything."

"Sorry? I thought you died!" A few knocks sounded on your door. Sliding yourself off the bed, you unlocked it without a second thought. In walked a disgruntled Allen with his face scrunched up.

He was never a morning person, but today was a special occasion.

"I'm really sorry! I didn't mean to worry you, I swear!"

You scowled, putting him on speaker. "Then you better start talking."

A weight settled on your head—your companion decided it to be a perfect resting place for the meantime while he listened in. He then wrapped himself around you. As tired as he was, he still managed a wide, floaty smile. So he was right, wasn't he? Rather than crying over the dumb Dane, you were about to give him the lecturing of a lifetime.

So rather than telling Allen off, you let him do as he pleased. You even held onto his arm that found its place on your waist.

"Uhh, so... I'm kinda stranded."

You expected him to say, on a random island on the Spanish archipelago. Maybe he had gone out for a swim to sulk by his lonesome after you forgave Allen. It was understandable, considering he was genuinely convinced he was trying something. And because he broke safety protocols, he managed to get swept away without anyone realizing it. How he didn't drown was beyond you.

Little did you know, he took swept up to a whole other level.

"Well, spit it out! The faster you tell us where you are, the easier it'll be for you, me, and the coast guard."

Mathias 'uhhed' again.

"... Erm... I think I'm in New York?"

New York.

The Big Apple.

It was where Allen was supposed to be—his home. How did they end up switching places?

If you could, you would have gone on and on about how impossible he was. Even Allen was shocked at how red you were as you shrieked into the speaker. Unfortunately, the displaced man was borrowing a phone from a random passerby on the street, so he had to hang up. Before he did, you relayed to him that you were breaking up with him twice out of spite. It didn't really make sense, but it incited a huge reaction from Mathias nonetheless.

Wha~at! But you already broke up with me! You can't break up with me again! He'd pleaded. But he was wrong. Anything he humored you on, you could use against him. And that included made-up dating culture. He deserved that, at least.

It wasn't just the random location he wound up in that troubled you, even if he was across the North Atlantic Ocean. It was how he ended up there in the first place. Apparently, he decided to do some vigilante work and sneak onto the ferry that stole the turtle eggs. But he wasn't Batman.

He was Mathias.

So he was stranded in a foreign country with no money. And like Allen said, it was strangely hard to get rid of him. Before the call ended, you told him to go to the Spanish consulate for help. He didn't even realize he could do that. So Allen was right. How he wasn't dead was beyond you! Fucking around with animal smugglers, then actually considering sleeping outside on the streets of New York?

He'd be killed faster than he could say Ferrari.

The next day around noon, Mathias glided in on a yacht accompanied by Antonio. Inhaling the fresh salt of the Mediterranean waters, he giddily stepped down onto the pier. How he missed this smell. Before he could get far, the rapid thudding of your footsteps came charging at him at unprecedented speed.

"Mat!"

There were bags under his eyes, but the sight of you running at him was the greatest injection of energy he could ever ask for. "(F/N)!" Outstretching his arms just in time to catch you, he stumbled back from the sheer force of the collision. "Hey! Did you miss me?"

"Fuck you...! I always thought you were stupid, but not that stupid!" You exasperated in the hug. Mathias responded by holding you tighter and nuzzling into your neck. He could listen to you scold him forever, but the opportunity to breathe you in was rarer than a blue moon. "What did you think you could accomplish, huh? You’re not special! We were gonna call the cops, you idiot! You weren’t supposed to trespass and try and save the day!"

He sighed contentedly. "Mm, I’m sorry. I only ever meant to go in for a quick look. But I had to hide when people came. So I hid for like..." His voice was low with huskiness, a sure fire sign he was fatigued. "Half a day. In an empty crate. I stole one of the labels and shipped myself out so they wouldn’t find me."

Pulling away with a huff, you reached up to cup his cheeks. There was untold fondness in how you held him, even if your words didn’t reflect it. "Just shut up and take nap. I’ve had enough of your idiocy." You flickered your sad eyes over his roughed up features. There were more bruises than you could bear, and it broke your heart to see them.

Mathias picked up rather quickly for once, so he gave both your hands a reassuring squeeze. Then, he gleamed. "Don’t worry! I heal super fast! And even faster if you kiss it better," The blonde winked.

If it weren’t for the bruises, you would have pushed his face away. "I would have given you a punch, but it looks like you were punished enough."

He began to walk with you back to your house.

"Oh? So are you saying you’re not mad at me anymore?" He chimed hopefully.

You shot him a glare. "Far from it. I was gonna have your ass on the couch, but I’ll be nice since you spent a night in a box." Mathias’s smile widened, but you were pleased to say he was jumping the gun. "You can sleep in my bed. But I won’t be using it."

He pouted.

"You’d rather sleep on the couch than with me?"

"No, I’d rather sleep in a different room than you." Grinning at that, you ascended the small flight of stairs to your front porch. Allen just walked outside to greet you both. Speak of the devil. "I’ll be crashing this guy’s room."

"Wait, you are?" The said guy blinked.

Mathias’s jaw dropped. You’ve never seen him this horrified in his life. "What? No way! You—you can’t!"

You hummed delightfully. "My house, my rules. Don’t like them, you’re free to leave. You have a home to go back to, you know?"

"I think I’ll stay." His cheeks blew up in discontent.

Allen shared your mischievous grin. "Heh. It must suck being a loser all the time. But I can’t really say anything when I can’t relate." He shrugged.

"Hey! I’m not!"

#hetaliafanfic #hetalia fanfiction #hetalia x reader #hetalia fanfic #aph denmark #denmark x reader #2p america #2p! america #2p!americaxreader #2p america x reader #dark #dark art #island escapade #alfredosauce50 #axis powers hetalia #hetalia world series #axis powers ヘタリア

[jalapeno-princess]

Coffee For Your Head

(He’s so pretty)

Mark Tuan X Reader

Genre: Angst with some fluff and a happy ending 

Word Count: 7.1K

Summary: After an exhausting and frustrating day at work, all you want to do is go home and fall apart in your boyfriend’s arms. However, a comment that is meant to be a joke turns in to a full blown argument between you and Mark; causing you to storm out of your shared apartment. 

A/N: Hey guys, so this week has been pretty shitty. I had to pay $700 to get my car fixed only to have someone steal my muffler (Hawaii is not the paradise everyone paints it out to be) but I’m not letting it get in the way of my life. Anyways, this imagine was inspired by that deathbed coffee for your head song but literally just the first verse (the song is actually so sad). I also have a couple of surprises for you all! The last and final chapter of crazy little thing called love is in the works, and I’ve decided to make a part 2 to “nobody compares to you” by popular request, so stay tuned. I’m also a few followers away from 700 that’s crazy!! Anyways, happy reading!

Never in the four years of your relationship has Mark ever felt like he didn’t want to look at you. Hell, there was never a time he wasn’t looking at you. From the moment Mark first laid his eyes on you, he was captivated by your beauty in ways he has never experienced before. 

Some days, he had to force himself to stop admiring your breathtaking looks so that you wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. After what took weeks of building up the courage to ask you out on a date, it didn’t take him long to realize that you were just as beautiful on the inside as you were on the outside. He honestly felt as if he was the luckiest man on earth to be the one who was extremely blessed to love you. 

Unfortunately, the two of you had your first actual fight just a few hours prior and he honestly wishes he could go back in time and keep his mouth shut so that the two of you wouldn’t have been in this disheartening situation. Although there were a few times the two of you would disagree and have a couple quarrels here and there, this was the first time you actually stormed out of your shared apartment out of anger and frustration. 

He was well aware that he went too far tonight; Mark knew you like the back of his hand. Just by your posture and the way you slammed your bag down on the counter, he had a feeling something bad must have happened at work. You were a registered nurse at your local hospital and as much as you wish you could say being a nurse was everything you could ever hope and pray it would be; it was quite the opposite. 

Sure, you had the honor of witnessing many miracles such as pregnancies, watching patients win their battles against cancer—just being able to help anyone in need were a few perks that came with being a nurse. However, being a nurse also came with great responsibility. There were lives on the line and just the simplest mistake; giving a patient the wrong medication, scheduling the wrong surgery or assigning the wrong diet could really affect the lives of those you were in charge of. 

Being a nurse was very exhausting; you were constantly on your feet for eight to ten hours a day and there were many people, either the patients or family members of the patients who always felt the need to take out their stress and worry on you. Tonight had been one of the most tiring and stressful days at work and there was nothing more you wanted to do than to change in to your pajamas and fall asleep in your boyfriend’s warm embrace. It was obvious Mark had other plans. 

Normally, whenever you came home so distraught and obviously shaken up, Mark would do whatever he could to comfort you and make you feel better. He didn’t understand what got over him tonight though—what started as a joke about you leaving the dirty dishes from earlier that morning in the sink as his way to cheer you up turned in to hours of yelling at each other and getting at each other’s throats. 

You told him he was a selfish, egotistical asshole who didn’t care about anyone but himself and he called you an aggressive bitch who takes things too seriously. As soon as he saw tears falling from your cheeks while you yanked at your purse and your keys that were still on the kitchen counter before storming outside, Mark was well aware that he fucked up. You weren’t a sensitive person; you did cry occasionally when work could be too much for you to handle, when you felt home sick being 3,000 miles away from your family or if there was a sad scene in a movie the two of you watched together then yeah—you would shed some tears, but it was only natural. 

When you guys did argue—if ever—you did tear up out of irritation; but you never allowed Mark to see how much your little disputes would hurt you because you didn’t want to feel vulnerable. He may have been your boyfriend, but you didn’t want him—or anyone for that matter, taking advantage of how timorous and fragile you were as a person. It took him a while to process that you actually left. He was too focused on the fight; there were so many things he believed he wanted to say to you in the heat of the moment, but he knew it was best that he didn’t. 

Now that he was all alone in the apartment, he felt like complete and utter shit. He knew the entire fight could have been prevented if he had just kept his mouth shut. What came over him that he felt the need to make such a stupid comment? You weren’t all that familiar when it came to California seeing as how you would only go out for work, with friends or with Mark. 

California was different at night; it’s was more dangerous and scarier, even for your boyfriend who has been living there his entire life. Seeing as how your family lived in New York and you hardly made any friends in the couple years of living in the relatively sunny state other than a couple coworkers, he had no idea where you could have run off to. For all he knew, you were at a bar getting drunk off of your ass and someone could have been taking advantage of you—or worse, you could have been driving and got in to a car accident because of how frustrated you were. 

From what he experienced with being in the passenger seat while you drove, he had to admit you weren’t exactly the best driver. You had two of the worst qualities a driver could have—impatience and anger. Normally, you were calm and collective. Even if life as a nurse could get very hectic and frantic at times, not once in your three years of working at the hospital did you show that you were on the verge of a mental breakdown. 

Mark never understood how you did it—but you were very good at managing your time and completing your tasks while under pressure. Your driving however was a completely different story. As much as he could only hope and pray you were somewhere safe, it wasn’t enough to stop the many negative thoughts and scenarios that his conscience came up with. Out of force of habit, he turned on the news to make sure nothing bad happened to you—God, why didn’t he just keep his mouth shut? If he just gave up his pride and took in to consideration the stress you were under, you’d be cuddling in his arms right now while the two of you watch reruns of Cake Boss—but instead, you were out driving in the freezing cold, alone and angry. He had no idea what he should do; even if he were to give in and admit his faults first, what good would it do? You were just as stubborn as he was. 

Knowing your headstrong tendencies, there was a big chance you would leave his messages unread and let his calls go to voicemail. He couldn’t blame you though, if it were the other way around and you were the one trying to get in touch with him, Mark would’ve ignored your attempts entirely. His guilty conscience got the best of him only after ten minutes; he knew there was no way he’d be able to go to sleep without finding out your whereabouts.

Mark: Hey. 11:56 p.m.

Mark: I’m sure you’re still mad at me and my apologies probably mean jack shit to you right now but just know that I am really fucking sorry. 11:56 p.m.

Mark: You don’t have to return my calls, but do you think you could at least let me know that you’re safe? 11:58 p.m.

Mark: I didn’t mean anything I said—you know me better than I know myself baby. I would never do or say anything to purposely hurt you. Fuck, the last thing I ever want to do is upset you y/n. I’m sorry I’ve made you so sad. 12:03 p.m.

Mark: I love you so much y/n. Please come home soon. 12:03 p.m.

He tossed his phone somewhere on the floor before releasing a frustrating groan—where could you have gone? A lot of places were closed at this time of hour and he decided that since you were driving, there was no way you could be drinking. Any club or bar was immediately crossed off of his list. There was also no way you’d go back to the hospital; it was painfully obvious that something occurred during your shift that made your mood sour—so you probably didn’t want to get near the establishment until you had to return back to work in the morning. 

Shit, that’s right. 

You had another shift in less than eight hours, God, Mark really felt like the biggest asshole on the planet. Knowing that there was a huge chance he wouldn’t be hearing from you any time soon, he decided to set up camp in the living room just in case you came back home and wanted to go straight to bed. He was also secretly hoping that you read his messages and forgave him; or at least felt a little less infuriated with him. 

No matter how much he tried to take his mind off of you, there was nothing that could distract him. None of the many video games he owned nor the new unsolved mysteries series Netflix had to offer could ease his unsettling nerves. Something inside of Mark was telling him to go out and look for you, but he knew that wasn’t a good idea. Honestly, he wouldn’t even know where to start. California was huge—he’d probably drive in circles for hours. 

The idea of getting in contact with his friends also popped in to his mind; you’ve grown close to his group of friends over the course of your relationship to the point where you could consider them all family. However, you were the kind of person who hated being a burden to others. You also didn’t want to involve anyone in your personal business unless you really had to. 

All he could do was lie on the couch and stare at the ceiling; growing more and more irritated with himself as the minutes went by. Your disheartened facial expression was imprinted in the back of his mind—this was the first time you looked at him in a way other than lovingly and with so much adoration in your eyes. He hated it; hated himself even more. 

He just really wanted you home safe. 

Your boyfriend had no idea how long he was waiting for you; minutes felt like hours as he continued to lie on the couch, doing nothing. As soon as he heard the click of the door sound off, he abruptly sat up; not caring if he seemed too eager. He sincerely meant everything he said over text message—your health and your safety meant more to him than his stupid ego. 

His heart began to race watching you walk in; there was nothing more he wanted to do than to run over to you and pull you in to his embrace while he repeatedly apologized for everything that he said and all the hurt he made you suffer through. For his inconsiderate actions, for not running after you, for allowing his pride and wanting to be the winner of the argument get in the way. But you looked so exhausted—so tired. Your body language spoke for you; it was evident that you were probably still hurt from his words and from what he learned with past experiences, you probably just wanted to go to sleep. He was curious if you got around to reading his messages or if you listened to his many voicemails.

His heart was begging him to get up and make his way over to you, but his mind didn’t want to make matters worse. Although he wanted to fix things immediately, he was going to wait for you to take control of the situation. You slowly took off your sandals and made your way in to the kitchen. The battle going on between his mind and his heart was currently consuming his thoughts; as much as he knew it would’ve been better to continue giving you his space, his heart had other plans. 

You looked as though you saw a ghost when you heard him make his presence known and only then did Mark realize it was 2:15 in the morning. His chest hurt when he saw you tense up; he began regretting his decision. You obviously weren’t ready for reconciliation. 

“What are you still doing up?” 

You still had your back faced toward him, but he was going to take whatever he could get. Instead of continuing to ignore him, which is honestly what he felt he deserved, you actually responded to him. It had to be a good thing—right? 

“I know you’re well aware that there was no way I’d be able to go to sleep knowing you were out all by yourself this late in a city you’re not all that familiar with. Especially because I was the reason. I—I was so worried.” 

The tension in the room was thick; he was practically walking on eggshells while thinking about what to say next. You were the definition of a sensitive person and it was a trait of yours that Mark was still getting used to. It was the truth though—Mark cared about you more than he did anyone else on this hell forsaken earth. If something were to happen to you, he didn’t know what he would do with himself. You were his person. That man would die for you if he had to. He found himself reaching out to you as a force of habit, but he retracted his hand as soon as he realized what he was doing. 

“Can we—can we talk?” 

You took in a deep breath and finally allowed yourself to turn around and face him. There was no way around this—you knew as you drove around that he would want to talk sooner or later. When you saw that he was still awake, you weren’t surprised. Being with him for all these years, you’ve grown to learn that Mark never allowed you to go to bed angry. He was the type to want to solve your problems before you were to fall asleep. 

The idea of you crying yourself to sleep because of something he said made his heart hurt. Only once in your entire relationship did you go to bed without listening to Mark’s apologies and it was because you didn’t want to deal with the drama any longer. He felt extremely bad that entire day though and when you arrived home that night, there was a bouquet of sunflowers, your favorite cake from your favorite bakery and a stuffed animal all sitting on the counter. 

Mark was going to make sure you knew just how sorry he was, even if it meant having to sleep on the couch tonight. You were much more calm than you were when you first stormed out. Right after the fight, you went straight to your car and sat in it for a while; allowing yourself to breathe and come to your sense before driving away. Then, you decided to go drive around the city until you pulled up to a 24-hour coffee shop. 

The exhaustion from your extremely stressful day was finally taking over you; and since you planned to stay out for at least another hour or two, you were going to need something that would keep you from falling asleep—and what better than a caramel macchiato with three shots of espresso? To your delight, you were the only customer there; you didn’t want anyone witnessing your breakdown as you cried quietly to yourself while remembering Mark’s harsh words that he directed towards you. 

Mark was the only good thing going for you in your life at the moment; all you wanted to do was collapse in his arms and have him comfort you—you wanted him to run his fingers through your hair while you were perched up on his lap, hiding your face in the juncture of his neck. Every single time you had a rough day, whether it was because of work, or something else going on in your life; but your boyfriend was really good at taking your mind off of any problems, worries or negative thoughts that you had. 

Coming home, only to hear him complain about how you didn’t wash your cereal bowl made your blood boil. You were scolded by your manager for almost giving a patient the wrong medication and it was the mistake of your colleague in training—yet you didn’t have the heart to confess that it wasn’t your fault. You understood how intimidating it was for first and second year residents; you’ve been there before, so you were fine taking the blame for something that you didn’t do. However, hearing your manager insult you and claim that you were inadequate and had no idea what you were doing made you feel as if it were true. 

The last thing anyone in the medical field wanted to hear was that they weren’t good at their job. You didn’t go through so many years of crying over how hard clinicals were on top of pulling all-nighters every single week there was a test or exam just for someone to make you feel like you had no clue on how to complete the tasks given to you. This was the first time you were scolded for something that you didn’t think was all that bad; the medication the patient was meant to take helped with soothing a sore throat. The one that the medical resident gave them had to do with decreasing heartburn—it wasn’t like it was a life or death situation. 

Mark never did anything to upset you purposely; sure, he had a tendency to leave the toilet seat up every now and then and sometimes he would get crumbs all over the couch, but that was as bad as it would get. When he called you a bitch, it genuinely felt like a slap to the face. It physically hurt and you couldn’t stop thinking about the way his brows furrowed and his jaw clenched in anger as he continued to say such hurtful things to you. At one point while you were drinking your coffee, it became bitter—which was odd considering how sweet it actually was and you found yourself no longer wanting to finish it. 

Your argument with Mark was just taking up the entirety of your thought process that you were growing agitated with anything and everything. After reading his text messages and listening to a few of his voicemails, you didn’t know how to react. Mark Tuan was never the type to admit to his wrongdoings; he had so much pride and such a big ego—but not once did he ever use it towards you. You’ve watched the way he became ruthless while playing video games and said some things to his friends that you considered to be a joke; something he said to throw them off while being focused on winning. 

Even at work, if he did something wrong, he’d never admit to his faults. That’s just who he was; so for him to say that he was wrong—that he didn’t mean a thing that he said and he shouldn’t have upset you at all gently pulled on your heartstrings and you found yourself throwing away the remainder of your beverage and making your way back to the apartment. 

You weren’t sure what was going to happen once you were to walk in the door; he might have apologized, but that didn’t necessarily mean that he was going to talk to you or apologize again in person. Your mind would not let you get any rest; it was currently in a battle with your heart—your stupid, stupid heart that belonged to the man that made you feel like you were wrong for having a bad day. 

That—you had no right to lash out on him. You wished he would have heard you out first before attacking you for something so small and unnecessary; he could’ve washed the damn dishes himself if he was so bothered. But your heart wouldn’t stop telling you to forgive him. His job could get extremely frustrating sometimes. It might not have been as time consuming or energy draining as yours, but there were times where he would need you to hold him every now and then because his executives expected so much out of him. 

He probably had just as much of a hard day as you did—maybe he came home pissed off from something that happened at work and noticing that there was dishes in the sink that he knew were there from this morning got on his nerves. You felt like he could have handled it better though and you couldn’t help but think like he was growing tired of having to be your backbone; having to comfort you almost every single day on top of his own problems. Your mind wouldn’t stop coming up with all these thoughts and lies you knew weren’t true and you were well aware that it was best to start heading back to your place knowing that you had to be up again in less than five hours. 

Seeing him practically leap at the sight of you walking through the door sent so many emotions to your chest. You hated any time spent away from him—there were occasions where your schedules would collide and the only time you would see him was right before bed or if you were coming home from a graveyard shift while he was getting ready to leave for his job. 

The dried tears on his cheek confused you; he was the one who caused all of the drama and he had no problem making you feel like you were overreacting and being too sensitive. You were upset with yourself for wanting to walk over towards him and wrap your arms around him—but it was only natural for you to want to do so. 

For the entire duration of your shift, he was all you could think about; the thought of Mark was what kept you sane throughout the entire day. No matter how upset he made you, he was still the love of your life—your best friend, your favorite person, your soulmate. One fight wasn’t going to tarnish or falter your feelings for him in any way. 

Arguments were considered healthy in a relationship; sure, you could have done without the harsh words being thrown back and forth to one another, but you realized in the coffee shop that you would rather bicker and disagree with Mark every now and then for the rest of your life, then to have a relationship filled with constant joy and laughter with someone else. 

It was obvious that he was probably just as tired as you were, but the thought of him staying up worrying about where you were and waiting for you to arrive back home filled your stomach with butterflies. You made your way towards the dining table and took a seat; you waited for him to make the first move because you didn’t know where to start. 

“Did you—uh—happen to get my texts?” 

You decided to keep your gaze on the cup of coffee he placed in front of you; you didn’t even notice him heating some up for you. Your boyfriend was very observant of the way that you practically lived on coffee; on the days you had morning shifts, he would set an alarm to wake up before you and prepared all the things you needed so that you had less to worry about—coffee being your number one necessity. If you were to look up at him, you were well aware that you would probably cry just at the thought of how considerate he was even under a negative circumstance. 

“Yes. I didn’t have a chance to read them though.” 

That was a lie. You read every single one of his messages; each message pulling on your heartstrings the more you continued scrolling through them. Although you no longer held any anger towards Mark, you didn’t want to give him the benefit of the doubt. A part of you also wanted to hear him apologize in person rather through messages—but you felt in your gut that he would sooner or later. Honestly, you wanted to wait until you were to come home from work tomorrow afternoon so that you were well rested enough to have the right mindset if another argument broke out. 

“Oh. Well, I—For starters, I want to apologize for the way I acted towards you. I don’t know what made me say the things I did—I meant it as a joke but you obviously didn’t think it was funny and I don’t know why I expected you to. I’m so fucking sorry y/n. I was an asshole and you didn’t deserve it at all. I know I said some really cruel things in the heat of the moment, but I hope you know I didn’t mean any of it. You’re not a bitch nor are you over-emotional and you don’t get on my nerves. At all. I just—hearing you say those things about me sparked something inside that I wanted to hurt you as much as you hurt me. It took every bone in my body not to run after you. I’ll admit, sure—it was because I wanted to give you your space, but I was also very prideful and still so irritated with the entire ordeal. I regret every single thing I said and did tonight as soon as I realized just how scary it is being out late at night by yourself. I’ve never hated myself more than I did in these last two hours worrying about where you could have gone and what you were doing. I couldn’t stop thinking about your broken expression as you grabbed your things and stormed out the door.” 

His voice quickly grew shaky; you knew he was on the verge of crying again just by the tone of his voice. For some reason, you found yourself giving in to him and finally looked up. It felt like a slap to the face; seeing him with the most heart wrenching frown—not once in your relationship did you ever question Mark’s love for you and right now, hearing that he beat himself up for the last few hours while he was going crazy thinking of the many possibilities that something bad happened to you made you come to the realization that the beautiful man in front of you loved you more than you could ever fathom in to words. 

“I know you’re tired from work—I don’t know why I didn’t just keep my mouth shut. If I could, I’d go back and prevent this entire night from happening. I was so fucking scared y/n. You don’t know California all that well; you could have taken a wrong turn and ended up on your way to Las Vegas—your car could have broken down in the middle of nowhere and someone could have came and—I don’t even want to think about it. I’m sorry for hurting you—I know you’re well aware that I would rather sit and suffer through listening to Yugyeom and BamBam screaming while playing MarioKart than to hurt you in any possible way. You don’t have to forgive me. Hell, scream at me; yell at me, hit me, do whatever you want to me. Just know that I’m extremely sorry, and I’ll do whatever I have to in order to get you to trust me again.” 

He hesitantly stood up and didn’t even spare a glance at you before making his way back into the living room. You were upset that he didn’t give you any time to respond, but at the same time—you were extremely grateful. Right after he left you all alone at the table, you allowed the tears to flow freely from your eyelids as his apology continuously replayed in your mind. Whatever exhaustion you felt from earlier that disappeared right after you abruptly left the apartment was quickly returning—though, you didn’t know if you were physically tired or just mentally drained at this point. 

You gave yourself a couple of minutes alone just to plan out what you were going to do. Going to sleep sounded like the most rational decision to make; especially because you were meant to wake up in less than four hours to work another long, grueling and tiresome ten-hour shift. But you didn’t want to go to bed on bad terms with Mark. If he was willing to give up his pride and raise the white flag first just to make sure you were well aware that he was extremely regretful and apologetic of his actions, then it was only righteous of you to forgive him. You got up from your seat and put away the cup of coffee before taking in a deep breath and making your way in to the living room. 

The lights were off; but the lights from the hallway were still dimly lit enough for you to notice that Mark was lying down on the couch with a pillow and a blanket wrapped around him. This was the first time since you moved in together that you found him outside on the couch. A small smirk raised on your face—your boyfriend was always so courteous and considerate. 

He began tossing and turning in order to find a sleeping position he would be comfortable in. Your couch was pretty spacious and the two of you have slept on it countless times while watching movies together, but you were sure he was probably bummed by your response or lack thereof. You walked over to the end of the couch and gently tapped his thigh with your knee to get his attention. 

“What are you doing?” 

Although there was barely enough light to even see his figure, you were able to see him shrug nonchalantly at your question—as if you already knew the answer. 

“You’re still mad at me. I don’t want to make matters even worse. I’m giving you your space—“ You surprised both yourself and your boyfriend by flopping on top of him, earning yourself a soft whimper. Nonetheless, his hands made their way down towards your lower back without hesitance. His heart was racing against your chest; you had a feeling he wasn’t expecting for you to forgive him tonight let alone throw yourself in top of him. The two of you sat in silence for a couple of minutes, the only sound that could be heard was your breaths and his fingers tapping lightly on your skin. He placed a couple of gentle kisses on your jaw and gripped at your chin; lifting it up to make eye contact with you. 

“I lied. I did read the messages and I cried like a baby—you ass. Okay, I’m gonna start off by admitting that there were some things I also said that were out of line and that I did not mean. You are not a bad boyfriend at all Mark—you are the best boyfriend—hell, you are the best thing to ever happen to me. A lot of what I said was because I was so pissed off at you. I had such a terrible day at work. I was scolded by my manager twice for things I didn’t do, I had to work two extra hours to help out because three people called in sick, I was thrown up on and my break was cut short because we were so low staffed today and everyone in California all seemed to have kidney malfunctions on the same damn day. All I wanted to do was fall apart in your arms and have you comfort me like you always do—but then I come home and you make a comment about how lazy I am and I just—I cracked. Normally you’re always so good at picking up on the fact that I’ve had shit days; so, for you to make me feel even worse when all I wanted to do was find solace in you—it made me so fucking sad. And then I went out and drove for a while but I came to the realization that it wasn’t a good idea for me to roam around in a city I’m not familiar with while I was fuming so I went to a coffee shop and just thought about everything.” 

Feeling his grip on your hips tighten only made it evident that your words had an effect on him. Sure, you were telling your side of the story and you had every right to—Mark deserved to hear what an asshole he was towards you—the last person in his life that he ever wanted to hurt. But he could just picture you sitting in your car; sobbing and blaming yourself like you’ve done multiple times in the past even if it wasn’t your fault. You were the kind of person who had a tendency to think you were the reason why things went wrong. 

Usually, it was in situations at work; but he couldn’t help but feel as if you were beating yourself up about the argument that could have honestly been prevented if he observed your posture and body language and just kept his mouth shut. You wiped away a tear that fell from his cheek before placing a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. 

“I wanted to continue giving you your space, but I had so many negative thoughts running through my mind. I was so, so worried about you. Baby I am so fucking sorry—“ you playfully pinched his cheek before covering his mouth with your hand. 

“No more apologies okay? Our argument is in the past. I just want you to know what happened and why I decided to return back so soon. If I’m being honest with you, I was planning on staying out until I had to head in to work again but sleeping in my car is not the most easiest thing to do. You hurt me Mark—I know it wasn’t purposely but for a few minutes, I actually contemplated on staying at a hotel or something. I didn’t want to see you for the rest of the night and I hated that I felt like that—even if it was for a split second. I always want you Mark. Every second—every minute—every hour spent away from you is spent thinking about you. What you’re doing, if you ate your meals on time, how you’re doing, if you miss me the way I can’t stop missing you, when I’ll get to see you next—then I got your message and they just solidified the love you have for me. Not that I ever questioned it once in our three years of dating. I’m sorry about the dishes—I’m sorry if I haven’t been myself these last few days but please Mark—I’m not acting this way on purpose. I’m so tired. You’re the only reason why I don’t end up in a mental institution at the rate I’m going. I’ll try to be better okay? I love you too by the way—so much.” 

The longer you spoke, the more tears fell from his eyes knowing how you must’ve felt so unhappy while overthinking the argument and just your entire day in general and he just felt so angry with himself. It was one thing for him to think about how much the argument must have bothered you, but it was another thing to hear you confess what had happened at work before coming home to a nagging and complaining boyfriend. 

He felt sick to his stomach and it was even more upsetting because he didn’t have the right words to explain just how sorry he was nor did he know what to do to make it known that he was regretful of the entire situation. Your boyfriend didn’t give you any time to prepare; he cupped your face in his hands and roughly connected your lips together. His lips were chapped and dry and tasted like salt from the tears. However, his movements were dominant and quick; his desire and need to kiss you was all that was on his mind at the moment. 

He wanted you to feel how much he loved you and how remorseful he was through the kiss. His tongue pushed down all but gently against your bottom lip before bringing it in between his teeth. The kiss continued to deepen the longer your tongues battled for dominance; any anger you held for your boyfriend was completely gone at this point. As much as you loved the way his lips melded perfectly against yours, you were finally feeling the wave of exhaustion re-enter your body and to Mark’s disappointment, you pulled away and placed your forehead against his.

“Babeeeee—“

“Come on, let’s go to bed.” 

You got up from off of him and reached your hand out in order to help him up. Mark was the definition of a clingy boyfriend—everyone who knew the two of you both witnessed and heard just how possessive he was over you and how he constantly had to be touching on you. But nobody ever complained—it was so adorable. He wrapped his arms around your stomach and placed his head on your shoulder while letting you guid the two of you towards your shared bedroom. You attempted to escape his hold in order to move around freely, but he had other plans and continued to cling to you like a sloth.

“Babe, I have to get ready for bed—“

“You can get ready while I hold you.”

“I can’t take off my scrubs with your arms around me.”

“I guess that means I have to take them off for you—it would be my pleasure baby.” You rolled your eyes and gently shoved him while grabbing one of his shirts and making your way towards the bathroom. 

“Baby?” You hummed in curiosity and gingerly smiled at him. 

“It’s already 3 in the morning. Maybe you should call in sick. I don’t like the thought of you going to work with barely any amount of sleep and I know we’ve moved on from our argument—but it’s only human for you to think about it again. I don’t want you getting yelled at again if your manager senses that you’re tired. Plus, you’ve been working so much this last month. I know you love your job, but it’s okay to take a well deserved rest once in a while—“ 

He had a point. Besides Mark, work was your ultimate priority. Sometimes, you put the hospital before your own health and private life. There were occasions where Mark would invite you out with him and his friends, but a lot of the time, you would either be at work or sometimes be called in as you started getting ready. Working so much led to over exhaustion every now and then but no matter how sick you felt—whether it was a cold, the flu or nausea, you would still find yourself tending to patients. It was something Mark wasn’t all too fond of; especially because your boyfriend seemed to be the only one genuinely concerned about your well-being. 

As soon as you finished your nighttime routine, you wasted no time making your way towards where Mark was sitting on the bed and crawled on top of him. He gave you a tired yet toothy grin and pulled you close to his chest. His hands returned to your lower waist and he even playfully pinched your butt; earning himself a slap to the shoulder. You brought one of your hands in to his hair while cupping his cheek lovingly with the other. 

“I know you don’t want me apologizing anymore, but I just want to say sorry one last time. I can’t promise we won’t argue again—we’re both stubborn as hell—but I promise to be more patient; more understanding. And I don’t want you leaving—you really did worry me baby. I love you so much y/n. I’m sorry if what I said earlier made you question my love for you—but I love you. I’ve loved you for the last three years and I plan on loving you for the rest of my life.” You placed a gentle kiss on the corner of his mouth before smashing your cheek against his chest. 

“I love you too. A lot more than I get around to telling you. Fine. If I stay home tomorrow, you owe me.” He gently pulled away from you and began wiggling his brows. 

“Oh, and what do you have in mind? You know babe, we don’t need to wait till tomorrow, I can give you what you deserve right now. I’ll take such good care of you—“

“I don’t mean sex you horny ass, I meant you make me breakfast in bed or prepare a bath for me. If I’m calling in sick, I want a relaxing day off.” He gave you an adorable pout while playfully hiding his face in between your breasts and whining softly. 

“Making love can be relaxing. Come on Y/n, it’s been almost a week since I had your pretty lips around my cock. I’m sex deprived. As much as I prefer you topping me and riding my cock like the professional cowgirl you are, I’ll take the lead. I’ll eat your pussy out until you cry—fuck you till you scream. Might as well you call out for the entire week. I think you and I both know angry makeup sex is the best sex. Don’t lie y/n, you miss having me inside of you just as much as I miss feeling your tight walls wrapped around me—“

“I think I made a mistake telling you to come in here. Go back to the couch.”

#got7 imagines #got7 #mark tuan #mark tuan imagines #got7 mark

[hectabdr]

Dragon Raja IV - Chapters 11 & 12 (Abridged)

Hi everyone!

Today's chapters are a little slower than the previous ones, but they have a lot of insight on Nono, Luminous and the nature of their relationship. I also kept more of the original dialog for the same reason.

BTW, this is the point where the illustrations suddenly stopped for some reason so... No more drawings :P

Previous chapters.

Chapter 11

A girl waited in the top lobby of the Black Prince International Financial Center. At 21 years old, Tu Xiaojiao was already known as the "Sophie Marceau of China". She was in that building to meet the legendary "Master Shao", the inheritor of this powerful organization. If anyone else in the world made Miss Tu wait for more than half an hour, she would leave the place immediately, but Mr. Shao was different, he could offer her the role of her life, so she decided to stay in the waiting room.

When the receptionist finally allowed her to enter Shao's office, she found him next to the window, reading a poem out loud. She had to wait for him to finish for fifteen minutes, her high heels started making her feet feel numb, wondering if he was mocking her, Shao didn't even notice her presence. To her dismay, once he finally saw her in his office, it didn't make much of a difference, since Shao only had one topic in his mind, his adored senior was back.

Miss Tu tried to be polite, and asked to know more about this "senior" girl. When Shao was younger, he had a girlfriend, she was actually one year younger than him, but she demanded to be referred as his senior and he obsessed over her for the rest of his life. He even showed miss Xiaojiao a picture of himself and his senior back when they were a couple. Tu Xiaojiao was confused, in the tiny photograph, there were two children, one looked like Shao and by his side, there was a girl who seemed completely indifferent towards him. This was cut from a kindergarten group photo, and he carried it in his wallet ever since.

Shao had everything at his disposal since he was born, his focus in the entertainment industry was nothing but a hobby. He could visit any place that he wanted, he could buy any piece of clothing and of course, he could date some of the most beautiful women in the world. But he didn't want any of them as his wife. The woman of his life had to be someone who would make him beg for her affection, someone who would make him kneel in her presence. The only woman who could make that to him, was Chen Motong.

Every time that Miss Chen came back to the country, he felt like a five year old all over again, but getting her heart wouldn't be an easy task. She acted cold and demanding, when she arrived he asked her out for dinner but she just wanted to borrow a car from him and left. He heard about an Italian man, apparently her boyfriend and he couldn't learn anything else about him, it was driving him crazy, but he received some information that brought some hope back into his eyes. Miss Chen had a friend in town, and he was in the hospital. Shao left his office with Miss Tu in it, on his way to meet Mr Luminous.

Young Lu was also disheartened because of Nono, although, his reasons were different. His 91st attempt to save her also ended in failure. When he realized that they were once again going to die, Nono desperately tried to make him react, but he lazily waited in the car seat for the whole scenario to restart, frustrated and annoyed, as the gravity of the situation slowly became less palpable. He looked to his side and saw Nono's face looking at him. Her expression was as ruthless as ever but in her eyes he saw deep sadness, he almost felt like hugging her before they died but the simulation ended. To him, death meant that he would have to start all over again, but for Nono, every single time it meant a genuine end.

To interrupt his depression, a young, short, overweight man entered his room. He called himself a friend of Miss Chen and Luminous thought for a second that she sent him there to get him out of the hospital, but Shao was there to speak.

He started making questions, in particular, who was this Italian scumbag that he heard about? Tragically for him, Luminous spoke highly of Caesar's fortune, personality and actions, and to make matters worse, he wasn't only Chen's boyfriend, but her fiancé.

A depressed Shao proceeded to tell an anecdote from his childhood. When he was studying in the United Kingdom, Shao felt belittled next to ehe aristocratic children that studied with him, so he started bragging about his own family's wealth and promising other kids money for listening to him, when he tried to show off in front of Nono, she beat him up and told him to call her "Senior Sister".

The school's Rugby matches also got violent, Shao played aggressively, so the other kids retaliated against his attitude by deliberately kicking him in the face and hitting him with the ball. His front teeth got broken as there was no coach present to stop them. He sat down on the grass, defeated, when Nono took his place in the match, she fearlessly rushed into a defense of fifteen boys while Shao swore to his heart that one day he would marry that girl, even if he had to kneel and crawl in front of her.

Shao compared himself to the protagonist form "The Great Gatsby", who desperately needed to be with his love interest, Miss Daisy.

-Why should a girl be with a man who needs her?

She should be with a man she needs. My senior sister doesn't need me, I am the one who needs her.

Before Shao left, Luminous reminded him of a scene in "Journey to the West" where Tang Sanzang found a silly monkey who lived behind a waterfall. The cowardly monkey recognized Tang's strength and left his hidden home to follow him around the world. There are two types of monkeys in the world, the smart ones that can survive out there on their own, and the silly ones, who need a master they look up to.

Shao understood his metaphor and he felt encouraged. Realizing he could trust the strange mental patient enough to untie one of his hands, Shao gave Luminous a can of beer and they toasted. When Shao left, Luminous took a syringe from the side table and injected himself with more sedatives. This was his 92nd attempt.

Shao returned to his office, motivated and lively.

-I met a new brother today!

He encouraged me to come back here, he's a philosopher and his words are very touching!

People living in mental hospitals are all experts in this kind of stuff.

He realized that he left without saying goodbye to Miss Tu, but his apology wasn't answered, because the girl in his office was Nono. She was drinking, looking tired, she didn't wear any makeup and silently stared at the window.

Shao was determined to win her over, but Nono answered most of his questions briefly and coldly. She didn't want to speak with him, she was just there to return the car keys and now she wanted to leave.

Shao's pitiful voice tone softened her attitude a little so she asked him for some gin with ice. Nono drank the whole glass in one sip and asked for a refill. She had another glass, and another.

- Senior sister, is someone bullying you?

- Who could possibly bully me?

- Usually no one, but aren't you engaged now?

- Caesar wouldn't do that, don't worry about it, just take care of yourself.

- Are you really going to marry an Italian? Those guys spend their money so recklessly!

- Could you give me a better reason not to marry him? Who are you to say those things? Stop messing around and just confess your intentions.

- I'm your boyfriend from kindergarten! If you gave me a chance instead I could be endlessly more confident and...

- You? "Endless"? Nono was so angry that she laughed.

Shao Kneeled and asked Nono to be his girlfriend instead. He kneeled in one knee, so she asked him to kneel on both like he used to, and he did, but not for begging, he used to do so as punishment. Nono didn't like his subservient attitude.

- We were just classmates, I was wrong to treat you so hardly, but you don't have to hold on to me, I am engaged and you could marry just anyone.

Shao kept begging, Nono deflected every single one of his arguments until he recited Luminous's "Journey to the west" reference. His delivery was incredible, but she had no reaction to it, she looked at her glass with tired eyes. She got up on her feet and entered the elevator.

After she left, Shao was avidly celebrating, he interpreted her reaction as progress and showed off in front of his employees.

Nono stopped at a small ramen restaurant to warm up her rain-soaked body. Chu Tianjiao was her last clue and she lost it. If Luminous was actually sick, why didn't she give up on him yet?

Why did she feel the need to insist on his case? This wasn't only about her, every moment she spent in the middle of nowhere, escaping from the secret party, she got Caesar in trouble. How was she supposed to explain this to them?

She had to admit that she cared too much about Luminous's well-being. She wouldn't doubt to give him her diving suit, she immediately called him last year when she and Caesar were overwhelmed by Scythe ferrets to warn him of the impending danger and now that the whole world was against him, she kept insisting on proving his sanity. Regarding his feelings for her, she comforted herself with positive thoughts. Who didn't have a crush on a senior girl at some point in his life?

Zero was great for him, so was Isabelle, if she had known Erii in person, Nono would have considered them to be "such a fucking perfect match".

Over the last few years, this petty boy had grown up, he became more energetic, better dressed and gained so much experience, yet he kept holding on to her. She left Shao's office without saying a word because she recognized those words belonged to Luminous. They were about Luminous.

- Chen motong, you're such a fool, you messed everything up.

Chapter 12

An exhausted Su Xiaoyao leaned back on her office chair, she had spent a long day on work meetings and in the middle of the night her phone kept ringing. This was her life ever since she had to leave school to take over her father's business. She had gained some weight ever since but no one really cared, she was still one of the top bachelorettes in the city and she had just accepted a blind date, excited to take a break.

During the student reunion, seeing Luminous made her cry a little. It wasn't because she used to have a crush on him during their high school years, she just realized that those carefree days would never repeat themselves. Back in the day, she and the other girls used to sit on the basketball courts to see Luminous play basketball. Even the air felt different.

Su took her high heels off and put her feet on her desk to take a quick nap, but her phone interrupted her attempt to display an urgent text message. It was Liu Miaomiao, her old rival in love.

- Su Xiaoyao, find a way to get here, quick! They put our senior brother in a mental hospital!

Game level: Gungir light, 101st load.

- So, where did you get that rocket launcher again?

- I found it under the seat...

The whole fight seemed extremely rehearsed by now, Luminous always knew exactly where to shoot, it almost looked like he could predict the future.

- Did you learn that in your special training? I want to take that special training too!

Nono slowly became the most problematic element in the simulations, she didn't retain her memories after every attempt like he did. This was probably the first time Luminous felt something other than absolute admiration towards her, she became a little annoying, but he couldn't really blame her. They got in the car and tried to escape, but one of the tires was damaged.

- Are you hungry? I just found some nuts in this car!

He knew Nono was trying to calm him but he was still a little anxious, he repeated the steps to replace the tire in his mind but the car-wheel escaped his hands and rolled over the highway.

His tantrum surprised Nono, who dropped her snacks all over the floor. Ming·Z paused time and got out of the car.

He noticed that Luminous asked to reset his last six attempts instead of waiting for his death, he seemed far more tired than usual after his conversation with Shao, it made him reflect about his feelings for Nono to the point of getting distracted in battle.

- First of all, I'm not the only monkey that she brought out from the waterfall, second, I am the one who needs her, she doesn't need me.

- Brother, I expected you to regret going to Cassell College, you wouldn't be so sad otherwise.

- I don't regret it, if I hadn't gone to Cassell College, I wouldn't know my senior brother nor my senior sister or the boss, nor would I know Finger, the Japanese "Lonesome George" brothers... And Erii.

Luminous ignored Ming·Z's snarky remarks and got a better hold of his feelings.

- I always ran after my senior sister, I like her so much that it makes me very sad that I can't be with her. Caesar was born with everything, he could have married any girl he liked but he picked the only one I cared about.

Suddenly I realized that I'm wrong, that was just wishful thinking on my part.

There are more people for me out there, Erii liked me, but Nono was the only one I had eyes for. Nono doesn't need me, I'm the one who feels at ease when I follow her, like she'll feel relieved when she marries the boss. She wouldn't feel like that if she were with me and to pursue her is to act on my most selfish side, why did my senior brother support me?

- Your senior brother wasn't that upright, don't you think?

- Finally, are you willing to admit that he's real?

- Okay okay, Johann Chu really does exist, but there is something wrong with him and you need to get him back"

- Then I'm relieved.

Ming·Z confirmed more things, the city was closed on all exits due to the weather conditions and the Nibelungen was invading their reality on a large scale.

- Thank you, Ming·Z·Lu. Why do you call yourself Ming·Z? You deliberately used my cousin's name"

- No, my name is Ming·Z·Lu, there has always been a Ming·Z·Lu in your life and that's me, not the fat boy in your uncle's house.

Luminous went back to the car, picked the dozens of floating snacks and put them back in Nono's palm one by one.

- Sister, don't worry, you will be fine, I will definitely find a way, I changed my mind, I will attend your wedding, I'll see you in your white dress holding orange flowers, walking on a red carpet full of happiness... Maybe you should throw the bouquet in my direction.

Three girls were sobbing next to his bed when he woke up, Chen Wenwen was the first face he recognized, followed by Su Xiaoyao and Liu Miaomiao. Su was one of the most influential persons in town, so she demanded that her old classmate got released from the hospital.

They took him out on a car and decided to stop on a luxurious bar. They all felt a little insecure about what they were wearing, so Su Xiaoyao asked her driver to bring them their old school uniforms.

Sitting at the bar, after multiple drinks, the girls kept reminiscing of their old days in high school, Luminous past in this reality was the same as Johann's, including his Saxophone recitals at the cultural festivals. He used to envy Johann so much back then...

He stood up and told everyone that he was going to the bathroom, but he changed back to his normal clothes and got out of the bar. A man with a motorized tricycle was waiting for potential passengers outside and Luminous gave him his expensive watch as insurance for borrowing his small vehicle.

He drove all the way to the Number 10 highway and entered the Nibelungen again. Odin was waiting for him far away, he didn't say a word but he slowly raised his lance. Luminous turned around and left the god's prison.

Back in his old apartment, Finger had befriended Luminous's aunt and kept doing shores for her. Nono came back to the place and they argued about their course of action.

- If I had known this was going to happen, I wouldn't have rescued him from that theater.

- Feels like you stepped in bubble gum and you can't take it off.

Finger suddenly left the room and came back with the news, Luminous had left the hospital with three old classmates. Nono grabbed an umbrella and ran out. She knew the bar and she knew about Su Xiaoyao, they weren't going to be hard to find.

By the time she arrived, the three girls were arguing after Luminous left. They actually tried to blame each other, the way they admired him was surprising to Nono. Suddenly, Luminous came back and justified his absence by saying that he went to a convenience store to get something to eat.

Nono watched them from the dark, feeling really stupid, there was a strange obsession that she couldn't let go of. In fact, she should have driven away the silly monkey that pestered her long ago, the more she helped him, the more he would rely on her. This wasn't good for any of them, but she couldn't bear to refuse.

She was afraid that he would end up crying alone in the wilderness, where no one could listen to him. She hoped that one day he could become one of those smart monkeys who run around happily, but maybe this silly monkey was smart from the beginning and she was pitying someone who didn't really need her.

She strolled under the heavy rain, her clothes were soaking and stuck to her body, it was a long way back to the uncle's house but she wanted to walk alone. She felt colder and colder and for the first time in her life she missed the Golden Iris Academy. She felt like going to a ramen stand again but there were no businesses in sight, however, there was a phone booth.

One call, that's all she needed to give away her location, Caesar made her memorize an emergency number long ago, it was the right thing to do, the person she should trust the most in this situation was not Finger or Luminous, but Caesar. Dialing felt like betraying her old classmates, but she started pressing the numbers.

"No, no, no, no, no, don't be like this, don't be like this"

Subconsciously, she looked aside and saw a small boy in the rain, looking at her from the other side of the glass. What was such a young boy doing out there on his own?

He was delicate and beautiful, like a porcelain doll.

- Are you looking for me? She asked.

The expressionless face of the boy slowly got horrifyingly distorted by the raindrops on the glass. She couldn't breathe due to an overwhelming sadness, so she opened the door but the boy was not there anymore. She took the calling card out of the booth and hanged up the phone.

Rome, Italy.

Caesar was waiting in front of a phone, he was under a lot of pressure, but the moment he received Nono's call, all of his problems would be over, yet the phone was silent.

The family elders felt like Luminous had stolen something that belonged to their heir, so they suggested that he cancelled his marriage.

- No, there are only two people in this world who can dissolve that engagement, Nono and me.

To avoid being put under heavy suspicion, he had to act calm and decisive, like he did a few days ago, when he released the monsters from the ice cellar to find the fugitives. Parsi entered the room and informed Caesar about the worsening weather conditions in Beijing, this type of climate phenomenons usually signaled the awakening of powerful dragons.

Luminous, the never-existing Johann Chu, the grim reaper, it was all starting to make sense. Caesar instructed Parsi to prepare his private jet and his desert eagles, he also dissuaded Parsi from going with him. At the lionheart club, president Babru informed the former president and dragon slayer Abdullah Abbas that Caesar wanted to team up with him to hunt the dragon down.

Intrigued, Abdullah accepted and instructed everyone to get ready.

To be continued, final update on Monday.

#Dragon Raja #dragon raja novel #luminous #ming z lu #nono #caesar gattuso #johann chu

[bonniebird]

Warlocks and Fairy Princesses

John Constantine x Reader

The clattering noise roused you. It had sounded as if someone was trying to get in through a window. But after laying still for several moments you couldn’t hear any more noises and just assumed it was something going on in the apartment below you.

At least you had until you heard your daughter whispering something to someone in a hushed stage whisper. You weren’t too alarmed until a deeper voice replied. Scrambling out of bed and quietly opening your bedroom door you fumbled for something that could be used as a weapon. In the hall you found a heavy glass vase you could barely lift, it would do. Creeping down the hall you paused outside your daughters bedroom to listen. For a moment you realised if this was something supernatural you stood very little chance of dealing with it safely. If it was a person you could swing the vase their way, grab you daughter and run.

“Fairy princess you say?” A familiar voice said in a tone that sounding so condescending it would have been rude, if they hadn’t been talking to a child. “I met a fairy once, nasty child snatching piece of work.”

“But they’re friendly.” You daughter insisted quickly. There was a sound of shuffling. “See, look at my picture books. It says that fairies are our friends!”

“Well so it does. My bad Love. Must have just met a nasty bugger.” 

Opening the door you spotted your daughter, now dressed in a fairy princess outfit over her pajamas showing John Constantine her bedtime story of fairy tales. You set the vase down outside the door and watched them carefully. You had no idea why he was here but it couldn’t be good. Judging by the red marks on his face, your daughter had swatted him with her plastic fairy wand a few times before he convinced her he was friendly. Good for her you thought bitterly, he probably deserved it. He was sitting on the floor of her room, looking worse for wear and had obviously squeezed through the sliding window of her room.

“Constantine? What’re you doing here?” You asked firmly. They both looked at you, equally surprised you’d snuck up on them.

“Mommy! I’m showing uncle John my story book!” Your daughter said cheerfully. At the words uncle John you frowned. Sensing the tension John hurried to his feet and headed over to you.

“Yes, well it would appear my knowledge on the fae folk is a little out of date.” He said quickly.

“Get out.” You hissed to him.

“Hang on now Love, I only just got here, you said anytime I needed a place...”

“Go back to sleep sweetie.” You said to your daughter as you grabbed Constantine by the tie and yanked him out of the room, shutting the door behind you. “For your information between my saying you could crash here if you ever needed and me telling you to never come back a lot of bullshit happened. Or did you conveniently forget?”

“I was hoping that you would have forgiven me by now. Didn’t have anywhere else to go you see and… well. I’m still hoping you’ll let me stay, for old times sake.”

“Can he stay Mommy! He said if you let him stay that he’ll make breakfast!” Your daughter whispered, having curiously poked her head out of her door, one hand hanging off the door handle as she watched you.

“No. He needs to go. He just got turned around and forgot how to get home.” You said quickly.

“We could drive him home! Mommy has a new car. Sometimes it doesn’t work but uncle Chas says he can fix it right up!” She burst out of her room to fill in John who nodded and looked as if she was telling him highly important information.

“Chas said that did he?” John asked glancing your way then back down at her. “Well I could have a look at that old thing.”

“See he should stay!”

“If you go get into bed right now. He can stay until the morning.” You said reluctantly. Glaring at John as you spoke.

“But he can stay until after breakfast.” Your daughter asked suspiciously.

“Yes fine.” You said as you shooed her into her room, making sure she was tucked in. By the time she was settled John had moved himself into the living room and was sprawled on the sofa watching your tv.

Without saying anything you headed to your airing cupboard. Finding the spare duvet and pillow you kept for guests you went back to the livingroom and tossed them at him. “Cheers Love. I’ll be out of your hair in no time.” You started to walk away without saying anything but paused and turned back, marching up to him so he had to take a small, hesitant step back.

“If whatever you’re running from get’s my daughter hurt John. Do not start expecting me to pander to your incompitent ass like Chas does.” You warned dangerously.

“Nothing will harm her, you have my word. This house is still warded from demons and bad spirits from back when… you know I never saw you as the settling down type.” He was smirking until you grabbed his ties. Yanking him until he was nose to nose with you he gulped and licked his lips, trying to look unfazed by the sudden proximity. You hoped it was as intimidating as you were trying to be but the sappy fondness in John’s eyes made you doubt that was the case.

“Don’t change the subject. You’re staying for one night, gone in the morning and the minute magic starts, doing what it does you leave, taking it all with you. After tomorrow, you’re not welcome back.”

“You’re not still made about what happened, are you Love?” John asked as you pulled away and tried to leave again. “We both had fun, made some mistakes. You’re better off without that bastard I say.”

“I don’t care what you say John. It didn’t affect you. So it doesn’t matter.” You snapped over your shoulder, glaring at him until he gave a disheartened nod.

“Well I’ll be on the settee if you need me. Night Love.”

You didn’t answer him. As soon as you shut your bedroom door behind you, you let out a shaky sigh. Sitting on the edge of your bed you held your head in your hands. There was not a chance you’d get any sleep now. Not with John taking up residency on your sofa. He;d ruined your life the last time he was here. Or rather, you’d indulged him and ruined it together. You’d begged Chas to keep your daughter secret from Constantine and Visa Versa. He agreed, but only to keep your daughter safe. Now here he was winning her over after breaking into the house, casually acting as if you’d never thrown him out six years ago. At least he’d agreed to sleep on the sofa and with any luck, he’d be gone when you woke up in the morning you told yourself.

#john constantine #john constantine x reader #bonniebirdgifs #constantine #legends of tomorrow

[kodzuken-pie]

OYA OYA OYA!! Once again congrats on 300 boo u deserve all the love🥰 can i request 12 and 18 fluff with Daichi?!😚👉👈

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[ A/N : OYA OYA!! Thank you Lydia!! Lol sorry again for being a blind BINCH lol I owe you a fluffy fluffy Daichi!! Mwah ]

Prompt: Monsters in my head and Alone in the woods

Pairing: Daichi x reader

Warnings : angst, mentions of anxiety, loneliness, death, suicide, being in the dark

Word count : 1900

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Paranoia of loneliness

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You awoke to the feeling of wet grass underneath you, the earth seems to have shed a tear witnessing the incident caused by the monsters in your head. They scream and tug at your ever growing loneliness and your anxiety ran through you in an all time high.

“Where am I?” You quietly whispered to yourself so that they won’t hear.

You sit up, looking around you and squinting at every little thing that moves. The sound of the wind slipping through the leaves filled the surrounding atmosphere, making you shiver. Twigs snapped underneath your foot as you got up and a sharp pain on your head made you wince.

“Hey, hey wake up.” A familiar voice echoed throughout your head. “WAKE UP!” It was louder now but you had no clue where it came from.

Once you got yourself together, you looked around once more. The only light that illuminated your surroundings was the moon shining through the leaves from the dark branches hanging above you. You gather your thoughts and remember that someone was supposed to be there with you, be there for you. The beating of your heart sped up and all you felt was the ever growing paranoia of loneliness. A sob escaped from your slightly open mouth, not even realizing when the tears started to drip down your face.

“Y/N? Please, stay with me. I’m here. I’m always here.” The familiar voice was your only sign of hope.

The smell of rotting leaves engulfed your nostrils and it made it harder for you to breathe as you tried to calm yourself in between sobs. You hoped and prayed that the soothing familiarity of the voice would calm you, waiting for it to return once again. You tried to move from where you were standing but your legs wouldn’t let you. They were paralyzed with fear and this made your anxiety run higher than it already was.

“Are they going to be fine? Please I need to know! When will they wake up?” The familiar voice sounded agitated.

“We don’t know yet sir, they just got out of surgery. It’s a bit hard to tell when they will wake up. Don’t worry too much, the surgery went well.” Another voice said, this one unfamiliar to you.

For some reason the voices came from the sky above so you looked up, hoping to see a sign that you weren’t alone. All you could see was the moonlight filtering through the tall shadowed trees stretching up into the sky. The tears have now stopped rushing down your face yet you feel tiny droplets of water hit your face as you keep your gaze to the sky.

“Come back to me my love, please. You promised we’d grow old together right? So please, don’t leave me.” The voice croaked, it was clear that they were crying.

You opened your mouth to speak but no sound came out. You wanted to answer the voice in the sky, you wanted them to know that they aren’t alone. The voice kept repeating three words, like it was a mantra or a spell. “I love you” they said over and over again. The person may have sounded disheartened but you were thankful, because of them you weren’t alone. The more you listened to the voice, the more you remembered happy thoughts. These memories started to flood back but the monsters would let you explore, they don’t want you to remember. Your eyes closed momentarily to think, to dig through what the monsters left for you. “Daichi!” The name bursted throughout your thoughts and monsters hissed, scratching and trying to nip it away.

“They moved! They MOVED!!” Daichi yelled, holding back more tears and squeezing your hand. “W-wait what are you doing?” His hand was taken off from yours abruptly.

“We need to check her. Please stand by Mr. Sawamura.” The other person said.

Just as that happened, the monsters in your head grew bigger and badder. They turned your thoughts dark, your knees went weak and you fell to the ground, putting a hand on either side of your head. The monsters were ripping your thoughts aparts, screeching in your ears. You were knelt down and you could feel the earth underneath you slowly crumble away. Warmth was immediately replaced with a cold and chilling air. You felt the chill deep within your bones and you shivered, holding back tears and trying to be strong.

“Let me hold them, please! They need me!” You could hear Daichi scream in pain and in frustration.

“Please escort Mr. Sawamura out of the room please.” Said the other voice, his voice mimicking the tone of the monsters that overtook your thoughts.

“No! NO! YOU CANNOT MAKE ME LEAVE! THAT MY PARTNER, MY FOREVER! I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR THEM! THEY NEED ME!” Daichi fought his way back in but they were able to hold him back and take him out of the room, locking the door.

“Now check their vitals.” The monster instructed.

Then there were other people and other voices but you didn’t care. It wasn’t the voice you wanted, not the voice you needed. Darkness was now slowly engulfing your surroundings, the moonlight no longer illuminating anything. The monsters escaped your thought and were now attacking your defenseless self. Without your person you were weak, he was your strength and your rock. He was the only thing keeping you from being devoured by the overwhelming loneliness that clouded your brain. Now that he wasn’t there, the monsters can take over without any hindrance in their way. You laid there, the damp earth making you colder than you already were. The urge to fight back was gone now that he was gone. All you wanted now was for it to end, for the world around you to be quiet. Letting out one last sob, you let go and let everything out. There was nothing now, nothing but the cold and the darkness and freedom.

Daichi was pacing back and forth outside your room. Looking in every now and for any sign from you. Hoping that you would fight back and come back to him again. His only hope was the continuous beating of the heart monitor. His heart was beating out of his chest and his stress levels were high. All he wanted was for you to be better, so the two of you could live out your dream. Your dream of buying a house by the coast, hearing the soothing waves of the ocean as you walk by. The dream of being able to grow old together and watching each other grow. The sound of children running around the house while laughter filled the air. These thoughts made him believe in your strength but they were broken when the steady beat of the heart monitor turned into one flat line. His eyes widened and his heart broke. He was starting to breath raggedly now, fists clenched as he looked at you through the little window.

“Come on love. Don’t give in. Don’t give up on me. You can fight this. I know you can. Please, please.” His voice cracked. “Stay with me. Fight the monsters, fight and you can win. My love, please.” He broke, tears quickly falling down his face.

The scene in front of him unfolded in a way he didn’t want it to. Your body laid there, unconscious while the doctors rushed next to you with a defibrillator. It was all in slow motion in his eyes and all he could hear was his breathing. He stared at you, heart beating out of his chest. The tears fell like waterfalls as he saw the doctors shake their head and put the defibrillator away. One of them checked their watch and another wrote something down. The head doctor looked his way and his anger came rushing out in an explosive manner. He clenched his fist harder and punched the window, leaving a small crack. Everyone in the room flinched except for the head doctor. Daichi glared at him, anger etched in his features. The head doctor walked over to the door to unlock it while Daichi watched him like a hawk. Once the door unlocked, your partner stormed in and took the doctor by his collar.

“I blame this on you, I told you to let me stay. You knew this would happen so why? We shouldn’t have let you in.” Daichi growled in a low and threatening tone.

“It’s not my fault, you could have said no. I told you this was going to happen in the first place. If they won’t help, they devour.” The doctor whispered in a low tone.

The room had gone silent and the air went cold. Daichi let the man go, bowing his head and he stared at his feet. The anger he felt subsided, now turning into regret and hatred towards himself. He frowned as his thoughts turned dark. He thought to himself that he failed you, he couldn’t help you and guide you throughout the whole process of getting you better and he shouldn’t even dare look at you. Although He allowed himself to take a look at you one last time and hold you before the last bit of warmth from your body left you. He winced at the sight of your lifeless body, remembering how there was a small chance of you coming out of this alive just a few minutes ago. He slowly walked over to you and took your hand. The feeling of your hand in his made his heart hurt, knowing that you weren’t going to squeeze back.

“I’m sorry. I am so so sorry. This was all my fault. If only I kept my mouth shut then you would still be with me.” He tried to stop a sob slip from his mouth. “If only we did this the way you wanted to and avoid this, treatment, then maybe. No, not maybe. You would be here. We would be at home right now, eating dinner or watching our favorite shows. I’m so sorry. My love, I am so so sorry.” He squeezed you hand, hoping that you would move but fully expecting that you wouldn’t.

One of the nurses tapped his shoulder and told him that he had to let go. Although that only meant physically, he knew he had to let go of you emotionally as well. Before letting your hand go, he leaned in closer to you and kissed your forehead.

“Don’t worry love, I’ll be with you soon. I won’t let you be alone in the woods any longer.” He whispered in your ear.

He pulled away and gave you a sad smile. Letting go of your hand, he turns to look at the head doctor darkly the turned to leave the room. He drove back to your shared home with a mission. As soon as he walked in, he went straight to your walk-in closet and opened the secret compartment filled with all types of firearms and drugs. He took out all the painkillers you had stashed away and took all of them. He took your favorite plushie and laid down on your side of the bed. He let himself feel all of the pain that you must have felt until he fell into a deep sleep never to wake again.

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Taglist: @lordeofthunder @caxsthetic @bb-noya

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #hq #hq x reader #haikyuu imagines #daichi x reader #daichi sawamura #sawamura daichi #hq daichi #haikyuu daichi #haikyuu prompts

[megatraven]

Heart of Gold, Stardust Soul

Summary: When Alex can’t make it to the charity art gala Deukalion invites MC to, she goes alone and discovers that Deukalion isn’t quite the innocent that he seems. Pairing: Alex x MC A/N: A what-if scenario, exploring what could have happened if Alex didn’t go with MC to the gala and she discovers Aphrodite’s Heart there. It’s got a lot of headcanons thrown into the pot.

AO3

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MC stares at her phone, disheartened by the message blinking up from her screen. Alex wasn’t coming. She understood- of course she did. Their mother’s Heart was out there, and despite everything, they were still working the case, suspension be damned.

There simply wasn’t enough time for them to go to the charity art gala with her. 

So, she goes by herself. She’s completely awestruck by all the beautiful works on display, and smiles brightly when Deukalion comes to greet her. He’s kind enough to show her around the room before bringing her to his masterpiece.

She doesn’t think anything strange of it at first, mesmerized by its beauty though she is. But the more she watches it, the more pieces click into place. There’s an undercurrent of power in it, that much she knows- it’s an artifact. She’s seen enough of them, been around enough of them, that she knows it’s an artifact.

Her smile starts to fade.

And then it hits her. The color- the exact same shade as Alex’s eyes, and Aphrodite’s. The shape, reminiscent of a heart. The power, familiar.

Horror dawns on her face as she turns to look at Deukalion, but he only smiles- a little too wide, too many teeth.

“That’s the Heart. Isn’t it?”

“Isn’t it brilliant?”

Her palms are slick from sweat and she has to swallow down a lump in her throat. She tries grabbing her phone without alerting the half-titan, so she can message Alex or May or somebody-

But he sees, and he reaches out quicker than she can react, grabbing her wrist in in a painful grip.

“Don’t.”

His hold tightens on her until she drops the phone and he kicks it away from them before he lets her go. She rubs at her wrist, knowing it’ll be bruised later, but knowing just as well that it’s the least of her worries now.

“Apologies, Ms., I didn’t intend to hurt you. But you must understand why I’ve shown you this.”

She doesn’t want to listen to him, she wants to go, get out, get to safety because she can see it, now. It was hidden before, or maybe she just didn’t want to see it, but there’s a certain madness in his eyes, one that chills her to the bone and sets all her fight or flight responses off. And by his show of strength earlier, she knows flight would win out. But she doesn’t flee. She can’t. Not with the hundreds of other people around them, innocent. In danger.

So she humors him, hopes she can think of some way to get the Heart, to get away from him, to call Alex.

“...Why, then? And why hurt all those people by giving them the artifacts?” she demands. She may be sacred, but she wasn’t going to just sit down and let him steamroll over her. She had to learn something.

His smile widens and she supresses the urge to shudder.

“You see, Ms., it all started so very, very long ago...” he begins, and he tells her about his wonderful wife, his own children. His smile drops then, and anger rolls off him in waves. He tells her how Zeus was angry, and chose to punish the humans for it, how the gods did nothing to stop him, even as Deukalion prayed to them.

How Zeus killed his human wife, Pyrrah, with a great flood

And then he explains why he’s targeting humans- he doesn’t want them hurt, truly. But the gods will only come down if there is chaos that demands them to. And still they haven’t come. Multiple humans now, with an artifact of pure godly power, and no god has come down to stop it.

He tells her that the gods don’t care about humanity, and he has proven it.

She feels some inkling of sympathy for him, and almost reaches out, but stops herself. He’s dangerous. He’s not afraid to hurt people. He was wronged so terribly, but it doesn’t excuse that he’s left people for dead, not knowing if they would be helped in time. Her mind flashes to the man in the park, that nearly died from the artifact around his wrist. She drops her hand back down to her side.

Instead, she asks,

“Why me?”

His smile returns and that feeling that she needs to run away comes back in full force. She takes a step away from him, but he nearly closes the distance between them in one step.

Reaching up, his hands frame her face- not touching, but so close that she can feel the heat of them on her skin. She freezes, eyes wide, torn between cringing back or pushing him away.

“Because, my dear...” that madness in his eyes grows, and dread washes over her. “This is Pyrrah’s second chance.” He gazes deep into her eyes. “Your  second chance.”

And before she can react, he grabs Aphrodite’s Heart and thrusts it into her hands, closing them over it with his own.

He’s speaking again- saying something about getting his revenge on the gods with his wife at last-

But MC can’t really hear him, not beyond the singing of her blood, the thrum of power that threatens to crush her under its pressure, her skull threatening to split apart as something far more ancient than she overcomes her.

No matter how she fights against it, the power of Aphrodite’s Heart lashes out, throwing the half-titan away from her as a scream builds in her chest. The aura comes out in waves of deep reds and pinks, striking out at tables and walls and other art pieces, thankfully, miraculously missing any humans.

The scream rips out of her throat and she drops to her knees, howling in agony. Her hands shake and she tries dropping it, tries letting it go- it’s not like the other two artifacts, wound around a part of her body.

But she can’t.

It burns her hands and wraps around them, travelling up her arms so that she can’t release it. Her blood feels like it’s boiling beneath her skin, her ring burning furiously as it tries to form its own aura to protect her, only to be snuffed out each time.

She looks wildly around the room, looking for something, anything to help her, but the only one near now is Deukalion, and she won’t give the Heart back to him, even if it kills her. She couldn’t let him have it again when it was hurting the person she loves. Rather than seek out his help, she holds onto the artifact tighter, and nearly suffocates at the surge of power that results from doing so.

Fighting against Aphrodite’s full power hurts, and Alex’s words ring in her ears, above the scream of the aura.

“You have to stop fighting the power. It’s going to lash out.”

They were calm then, when they had said it. She holds onto that feeling, and uses it to anchor herself against the tide of power.

It takes everything she has to stop fighting it, but she trusts Alex with that same everything, and so, against every instinct that says otherwise, she stops her struggle.

Once she lets it go, that building tidal wave of aura grows to brilliant heights, blinding her. She closes her eyes against it, not that it helps, and curls her body toward the ground, cradling the Heart to her chest.

It almost hurts less, this way. Letting it flow through her instead of fighting it. She tries to hold onto consciousness, but everything hurts, and she can feel herself fading. The edges of her vision go black, and she barely has the energy to lock eyes with Deukalion- his expression horrified, a mirror of her own earlier that evening- before she passes out. Or falls into a trance. Or becomes... not herself.

She whispers a name,

“Alex...”

And the darkness overcomes her.

She isn’t sure what happens then, only that she comes back to her senses, however briefly, when HERA agents swarm the building, and the Heart leaves her hands (finally), and Alex is there, holding onto her... crying?

Somehow, she musters the strength to smile at them. For them. Weakly, but it’s still a smile.

“Thank you,” she rasps out, and she thinks she hears them calling her name as she slips back under.

Time passes differently, when there’s nothing to measure it by. She’s in and out of consciousness, mostly floating in an empty space devoid of anything. Sometimes she hears a voice, one that feels familiar to her, like she’s known it her whole life, but that she swears she’s never hear before. It whispers secrets to her, soft apologies, promises that she’ll be okay. It tells her that Alex is waiting for her, and so are Josh and May.

It makes her heart ache, makes her restless in that empty place.

It seems to like it when she gets restless- those are the moments when she wakes up, for a quick minute, even if she never opens her eyes.

So she tries harder. She misses her best friends, her brother. She misses her job and her home and her life.

She fights against the tide of darkness that sticks to her and tries to keep her in that space where nothing else exists. And she gets closer, each passing minute, hour, day- whichever one passes.

The voice continues to encourage her, but it’s only when she finally speaks back, and asks it a question, that the voice answers her. And it’s not exactly hope that jolts her back into the real world once it does.

“Who are you?” she asks, not fearing the answer, but dreading it all the same.

The voice takes a long moment to reply, but she can wait- she’s been stuck for this long, anyhow.

Then, softly, so soft she thinks she might have imagined it if not for the terrible sorrow that fills her entire being at its words

“I’m Hera.”

And MC wakes up.

Her eyes fly open, and though it hurts, she draws in a deep gulp of air, bolting upright. Her chest heaves heavily and sweat drips down her forehead, over her lips, and down to the hospital gown she’s wearing. A multitude of tubes and needles are stuck in her arms but she hardly notices as she moves on, looking around the room like everything will make sense once she does, until her gaze settles on-

“Alex.”

Her voice is weak and it hurts to say anything, her throat dry and aching from not being used, but she doesn’t care. She reaches out for them, only to fall back against the bed when that sudden bout of strength leaves her.

They stare at her, not fully believing that she’s awake, but then they grab her hand- covered in bandages- and squeeze, so tight she might wince if she had the energy to. Her vision blurs a little, but she hangs on, refusing to slip away again, not before she’s had a chance to talk with them.

“MC... you’re awake, thank the gods. I- I’m so sorry,” they say, their voice breaking as tears begin to crawl down their cheeks. “I should’ve been there. I should have gone with you.”

She makes a sound of protest, and rubs her thumb over their knuckles, shaking her head.

“Don’t. Wasn’t your fault.”

Alex looks like they’re about to argue, but they take one look at her face, all the resolve she has, and slumps in their seat. They don’t seem convinced, but she’s thankful they’ll at least wait for her to feel better before they bring it up any more.

“I’m so glad you’re awake.” They swallow, and their next words come out in a whisper as they press their lips to her hand. “I couldn’t stand to lose you. I... just want you to know that.”

Warmth radiates from their sweet, gentle kiss, coursing through her body in a comforting way, so unlike their mother’s power. Where her energy had burned and blazed, Alex’s soothes and comforts. 

“I’m okay now,” she says, trying to comfort them in return. She takes a painful breath- even that is starting to hurt more. But still she hangs on, not quite ready to leave them again. “Is the Heart...”

“It’s back with my mother,” they answer her, knowing where her question would go. They look back up at her, searching her face for... something. She thinks they must find it, because they continue after a short minute. “Deukalion was captured. He had a breakdown when he was hauled up to Olympus- or so I heard. I came here with you after arranging for the Heart’s safe travel back. The gods... are working to rehabilitate him. Once they realized he was lashing out from pain they inflicted ages ago, it only seemed right.”

“That... That’s good,” she murmurs, and takes another ragged breath. Her vision swims, and she can feel her grasp on consciousness fading again. “‘M glad he’s getting help...”

“MC?” they ask, concern bleeding into their voice and expression both.

She blinks, slow, her eyelids heavy.

“Alex... wait for me?”

She watches them, watches their breath hitch and the tears come faster- and then they smile, and it hurts her heart in such a way that she knows they mean their next words with their entire soul.

“Always. I will always wait for you. No matter how long it takes,” they promise, leaning forward to place a kiss on her forehead. It settles something in her, and all that pain washes away as her eyes slip close.

On the edge of consciousness, just before she falls over, she hears them say one last thing.

“Rest, now. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

And then she falls.

And falls.

And falls.

Until she’s back in their odd nothingness.

“Hera..?” she calls out, hesitant.

The goddess doesn’t respond, but MC can feel her there, in that same familiarity that carried through her voice before.

It’s almost comforting, to know she’s not truly alone.

She doesn’t try speaking to her again. Part of her wants to, but something intrinsic tells her that everything’s okay as it is, and she believes it. Maybe, she thinks, the goddess is resting, too.

At some point, she begins to stir again, or at least, it’s a similar feeling. Images flash before her very eyes, but something isn’t quite right about them.

They’re all painted in hues of red or pink, burning hot, deafening her with the sound of a beating heart. It pounds through her mind and her bones and her blood, calling to her in a way that makes fear clench at her heart. It’s like that moment with Deukalion, when all she wanted to do was run, but this is inside her head, and there’s nowhere for her to go.

Echoes of memories long past, that don’t belong to her, or even Hera, she thinks, fly across her vision- a man with a cruel smile that turned sweet for only her, an argument between her and her children, sorrow and loneliness emphasized by her empty estate, a child with bright eyes that hold a familar edge to them, hope and love that twists into grief when her mother dies, pain when she has to punish her youngest child.

“Aphrodite,” she gasps out, wincing as the pain doubles, bearing down on her, crushing her.

And almost as suddenly as it came on, it stops. Red is overrun by gold, its warmth kinder, reminiscent of the aura from her ring. It washes away all traces of those memories that had clung to her, and she feels lighter for it, as if that terrible darkness she existed in was receding at last.

Whatever traces of Aphrodite’s power were left in her fade away. It’s easier to breathe and she feels stable again. There’s a rumble from all around her, but she isn’t afraid of it, and trusts that when it washes over her, it’s doing something good. 

It seeps down into her bones, gentle, and as it does, something in her heals. The shadows of pain that had been haunting her are chased away, and she finally feels whole again.

Golden feathers float past her, brushing against her skin, beckoning her to follow. She does, walking with them until the light of the aura blinds her completely, and the world lurches around her.

One thought strikes her before she leaves- Hera. She was gone.

And then, she opens her eyes, and the world is more clear than it’s ever been,

Alex smiles down at her, eyes twinkling, and she braves a smile back. It’s easy this time, not draining at all- she feels refreshed.

“MC.”

They reach forward and take her hand in theirs, but there’s no painful squeeze- only joy that she’s awake again.

Their aura jumps from their fingertips to her own, and hers does the same, and it comes with the realization that her aura truly feels like her aura, now. Not something that comes from just a ring.

“Alex,” she breathes, and every worry she’s held onto since the art gala leaves her, nothing but pure, unadulterated joy in its place.

They push the call button on the bed so that a doctor can come in, but they take every second before their privacy is interrupted to kiss her- tenderly, with all the care and love in the world behind it.

When they pull away, they run their thumb across her cheeks, wiping away tears she didn’t know she’d been crying. They look at her as if she were the only other person in the world, and maybe, for that short little moment, she was. 

“Welcome back, MC.”

Nearly sobbing at their greeting, a fresh wave of tears come down her face, but they’re happy ones. She smiles so wide that it hurts as she reaches up with her free hand to cup their cheek.

“Thank you.” For waiting. For being here. She doesn’t say it, but she knows they know.

And then, they say something that catches her off-guard.

Words she’s waited a lifetime to hear, that send her heart beating wildly.

“I love you.”

#lovestruck #lovestruck voltage #alex cyprin #alex x mc #afk mc #astoria: fate's kiss #afk deukalion #deukalion #alex #cyprin #afk cyprin #afk alex #my fic

[therainroguefanfiction]

⚾ Not Enough; Tsunayoshi Sawada (Sportember #030)

📑 Table of Contents | ⚾ Challenge Post

Genre: Angst, High School AU, Slice of Life

Word Count: 1,545

Pairing: Reader x Tsuna

World: Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

Prompt: Enough

Sport: Baseball

━━━━━━༻🎾_🏀_🏐༺━━━━━━

Yamamoto Takeshi was the ace of Namimori high school’s baseball team. He was dependable, always able to save the team no matter what kind of pinch they found themselves in. He was extroverted and cheerful, kind enough to give the shirt off of his back if someone needed it. By all accounts, he was an amazing person and an even more amazing friend.

So why did you feel such envy when you looked at him? It hadn’t been like that when you first met. You were good friends, enjoying each other’s company and bonding over your love of baseball. As the years wore on, though, you started to distance yourself from him.

You trained your ass off, dedicating every free moment to getting stronger and fixing the weaknesses you had. You trained well into the night and woke up before the sun rose to train some more. Even during lunch break you trained, trying to get better at pitching. Yamamoto rarely trained, often running off with his friends to do god knows what.

In a way, this benefitted you because it kept your boyfriend, Tsuna, busy. You often felt guilty for not spending more time with him, but you were so focused on getting off the bench and on to the field that you often neglected him. At least if he was off with Yamamoto and the others, he wouldn’t be upset that you weren’t with him.

With the interhigh tournament right around the corner, you were desperate to not be on the bench for the third year in a row. You wanted to feel confident in yourself and you even kept reminding yourself that Yamamoto hasn’t been training, but you just couldn’t gather up any confidence. You wanted this more than anything, but a small part of you was sure it wouldn’t happen.

As it turned out, you were right.

Captain Natsuo scanned the group of players standing before him, his hands on his hips. The coach stood beside him, holding a clipboard in her arms. “I want all of you to know that you’ve done well and we have noticed all of your efforts. If you don’t make the official roster this year, don’t be disheartened! As a team, we must work together, whether you are on the bench or on the field.”

“Yes, sir!”

Blood was pumping loudly in your ears as you watched the coach hand him a slip of paper. He started listing off names, pausing for them to cheer and high-five their other teammates. Your heart seemed to drop a little more with each name until, finally, there was one spot left. You glanced to your right, finding Yamamoto standing a couple of places down, a cheerful grin on his face.

He noticed your look and sent you a kind, closed-eye smile along with a little wave. How could he be so damn cheerful when there was only one spot left on the main team? Was he so confident that he’d be chosen that he had no worry? Meanwhile, you felt like you were going to barf on the captain’s shoes, your stomach twisting and turning as if you had eaten something rotten.

The captain’s lips parted. “Yamamoto Takeshi.”

The team cheered and clapped him on the back. “We’re definitely gonna win with you on the team!”

“For sure, you’re a total powerhouse.”

“Glad to have you, Yamamoto!”

“We’re going to nationals!”

You clamped your lower lip tightly between your teeth, tasting blood on your tongue. Tears stung at your eyes but you held them back, head lowered as you turned and walked away along with the rest of those that hadn’t been good enough. But that was you – Y/N, second best to Yamamoto. No matter what you did, you just weren’t good enough to beat him.

It wasn’t fair.

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“Hey, Y/N! Wait up!”

Your shoulders tensed at the familiar voice and you clutched your bag tighter, picking up your pace as you walked down the street. Yamamoto was taller, though, with long legs that covered the distance with ease. A hand gripped your shoulder, stopping you in your tracks.

“Where’s the fire?” he joked, giving you a bright grin. “Are you hungry? It’s been a while since you stopped by. My oyagi will be happy to see you!”

“No thanks, I’m not hungry,” you responded shortly before turning and continuing on your way. He didn’t take the hint, walking at your side.

“You missed practice today. Nejima ended up taking a ball to the back of the head from one of the first-years, he was so angry!” Yamamoto laughed. “Are you excited for the interhigh? We have a really solid team this year.”

Your jaw clenched and you picked up your pace, trying to put some distance between the two of you.

“You’re training even on the way home? You’re super dedicated, Y/N!”

“No, I’m not,” you snapped, whirling around to face him with your fists clenched. “I am not training. I am not looking forward to the interhigh. And I am no longer on the team!”

His eyes widened, finally realizing that something was clearly bothering you. “Y/N, what’s wro -”

“Nothing!” You snapped again, turning on your heel and taking off down the street. You just wanted to be away from him. You knew you were being a bad friend by letting your jealousy get in the way, but you didn’t care. How could you when you saw your dreams taken from you by him? All you wanted was to go to the nationals, it had been what you were training so hard for and this year was your last shot, but they had chosen him over you. They always did.

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You felt a tap on your shoulder and you paused the anime you were watching, tugging your headphones down to rest against the back of your neck. You had been so engrossed in the show that you hadn’t realized anyone was knocking on your bedroom door. Tsuna’s warm brown eyes met yours, filled with worry.

“Hey, Tsu. What are you doing here?” you smiled at him softly.

“I wanted to check on you,” his hand lifted to your cheek, brushing his thumb across your skin. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes,” you chuckled, turning your eyes back to the screen. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Yamamoto told me about what happened. He said you won’t answer his calls or texts.”

Your smile faltered for a second but he noticed it. He always did.

“Hun, tell me what’s happened. Did you really quit the team?”

“Yeah, so what,” you scowled, crossing your arms across your chest and looking away from him. “Am I not allowed to or something?”

Tsuna frowned, sliding his hand down to the side of your neck. “You are, but I know how much you love playing baseball. Surely there has to be a reason for you to suddenly quit.”

You said nothing, glaring at the screen of your laptop as if it were the source of your frustrations.

“Please talk to me, Y/N. I can’t help you if you don’t.”

You scoffed, pushing him away as you stood up. “You can’t just fix everything, Tsuna! Sometimes things can’t be fixed.”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t try,” he stated calmly, giving you a smile when you snapped your eyes to his. “I love you, Y/N, and even if it’s impossible to fix, that doesn’t mean I won’t try my hardest to do so.”

Tears stung at your eyes and you quickly lowered your head, shoulders shaking. You had been bottling up these negative emotions for so long, it felt like you were drowning in them. Warm arms wrapped around your body, Tsuna’s lips pressing gently kisses to your temple as he whispered comforting words into your ear.

“Why…” you cried, clutching at his shirt. “Why am I not good enough, Tsu?”

His heart felt like it was breaking at the pain in your voice, his arms instinctively tightening around you. “You are good enough. Why would you ever think you weren’t?”

“Because! No matter how hard I try I… I’m not good enough to beat Yamamoto! I trained so – so hard and he didn’t train at all! But he… he still got a spot. I wasn’t even – even considered…”

Realization clicked within his mind as he pieced it together. “Oh, hun. You are an amazing player and you’ve worked so hard to become even stronger. You should never compare yourself to others, it’s not a healthy way to grow. There will always be someone stronger, someone better, but that doesn’t make your efforts any less important.”

“It just… seems so pointless,” you muttered, burying your face into his neck as you clutched at his waist for dear life. “I just wanted to be useful to the team, to help us get to nationals! This was my last chance…”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N…” As badly as he wanted to tell you that it wasn’t too late, he simply couldn’t do so. Next year, you would graduate high school and move on to college, focusing on your studies. And unless someone on the team got injured, you wouldn’t be able to play even if you had stayed on the team.

“So am I…”

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