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ayatomic · 2 years

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SCOTTY DOESN’T KNOW !

✧ — thoma x kamisato ! reader x tartaglia.

summary: it’s just a small crush on your brother’s best friends. surely they don’t reciprocate your feelings, right?

notes: modern au, reposted from my old blog.

warnings: threesome, too much plot, shy + innocent reader, childe is a bit of a tease, pet names, praise, consent checks, safe sex, oral (giving + receiving), fingering, penetration, slight mating press, multiple orgasms, somewhat clingy ! reader, aftercare on screen, reader gets a little bit overwhelmed, small vaguely age gap implied, unrealistic cervix kissing.

w.c.: 6.0k

minors and ageless blogs do not interact.

you had always been close to your big brother, ayato. he was always protective over you, carefully selecting the friends that he introduced you to. it was the same for your sister, ayaka, though he was stricter when it came to you as you were the youngest.

you didn’t exactly have the widest friend group, a result of your own shyness. it took you a while to warm up to someone, so only those who truly cared to get to know you were lucky enough to see past your timid exterior.

as embarrassing as it sounded, you considered your brother your best friend, that way it hurt less when everyone else seemed to drift away from you. ayato would do anything for you, wishing for you to share the side of you that he saw daily with everyone else. he understood that you were simply more introverted than him, however, a fact of which he greatly respected nonetheless.

once he had moved out of your family home, you missed him one hell of a lot. when your own time to flee the nest came, you selected a place of study nearby the base of your brother’s company. you didn’t really know what he did for work - finding corporations rather overwhelming yourself. the regular coffee shop meetings that the two of you scheduled acted as a break both from your own classes and ayato’s busy work life.

after a particularly bad falling out with your college roommates, he was ready to welcome you with open arms into the guest bedroom of his penthouse apartment.

ayato’s friends had always enquired about his sisters, the questions only increasing after finding out that you were living with him. at first he would be sure to only invite them over while he knew you were out at class or a society meeting, his protective instincts kicking in. he trusted his friends, of course, but he wasn’t sure that you were ready to meet them. they could be rather loud and rowdy, a heavy contrast to your sheepish self.

it had happened accidently, much to your brother’s chagrin. your class had ended early and you had come straight home, a cup of hot beverage from your regular shop in each hand. you knocked on the door after struggling to pull your keys out from the bottom of your bag.

"ah, you’re back early,” the regular sweetness he had with you seemed missing, and you instantly worried that you had returned at a bad time. your brother was perceptive enough to notice the typical glint in your eyes fade slightly, taking it upon himself to instantly reassure you. he mentally rationalized that there was perhaps never going to be a right time to introduce you to his best friends.

as he took the larger drink from you hand, checking the markings on the lid to check that it was his usual order rather than your own, ayato said his thanks and wrapped you in a brotherly hug. you followed him back into the living room of the apartment, intending to throw down your bag and catch up on some crappy t.v. show as you decompressed from a day of classes.

you had to be careful not to bump into ayato as he stopped in the doorway. “i want you to meet my friends, are you okay with that?” you weren’t exactly sure why he was asking you this now — or, rather, you weren’t until you heard the sounds of two boisterous voices echoing around the living room.

there wasn’t really an option to disagree, as the corridor to go straight to your own space was on the other side of the room. you nodded apprehensively, the idea of new people worrying you slightly. your brother reassuringly squeezed your smaller form, before muttering softly that “they don’t bite, i promise.”

you stayed close to ayato as you approached the two men already sitting on your couch. a ginger man was laughing loudly, engrossed in his conversation with the other man you could not see from behind your brother. he cleared his throat, grabbing their attention. “thoma, childe, this is my youngest sister,” the same man whose cackle had been bouncing off the walls almost choked on his beer, having thought he would never be blessed with the privilege of meeting one of the sisters that his friend spoke so highly of. the two men stood up in front of ayato, of whom you were using as a human meat shield.

“this is childe,” he pointed to the ginger haired man, who had a wide smile across his cheeks, “and this is thoma.” ayato gestured to the other man, a blonde who was just as tall as the other two men.

you barely mumbled a hello, hiding your face in your brother’s back. your hand gripped the strap of your bag tighter as you cowered. everyone in the room wanted nothing more than to comfort you, tell you it was okay, and to coax you out. ayato instead continued his conversation from before you had arrived home, the other men following his lead. your nerves began to calm, silently thanking your brother for relieving the pressure off of you.

unbeknownst to you, childe and thoma couldn’t help their eyes from glancing to you; the mystery that you were shrouded in was getting the better of them. luckily for them, you eventually received a rush of courage that allowed you to peek around the blockade you hid behind. your body stayed pressed to your brother’s, though the others seemed enamored with the wide eyes you were displaying.

as childe and ayato remained engrossed in their conversation, a kind faced thoma stretched out his hand to you. “i’m thoma,” he reintroduced himself. the small smile you gave him as you shook is hand made his heart swell.

“hey, what about me ?” childe interjected. thoma noticed how you retreated slightly, using his elbow to jab his friend in the ribs. you snickered as the ginger yelped, beginning to feel more comfortable around your brother’s friends.

over time, you only got closer to childe and thoma. you learnt more about them, that thoma had the cutest little shiba inu, taroumaru, and that childe was just a nickname from some inside joke (every time he heard you call him by his true name, ajax, he wanted nothing more than to wrap you in his arms and protect you from the world).

they would come over when ayato was in and the four of you would hang out, watch movies, play video games. you each took turns picking a movie to watch together: childe typically enjoyed selecting horror movies (much to ayato’s own distaste) then would sit next to you, relishing in how you hid yourself in his shoulder at the scary parts; thoma was a nice contrast. if you ever mentioned a movie you loved to him, that would be his pick for the night. it didn’t matter how mushy it was, he would gladly take the playful teasing from his best friends for being such a darn sap when he saw the bright smile spread across your cheeks.

thoma was always the kinder one to you. when ayato had suggested some fighting game and handed each of you a controller, he took on childe’s competitive self while thoma allowed you to beat up his little avatar on the other side of the map. it was nice to have three men caring so much about you, practically doting on your every move.

thoma and childe had made a pact together, as soon as they had both realized that the love they had for you was more than platonic, more than brotherly. ayato could never know about it and they would be sure not to scare you away, though it didn’t stop their feelings shining through now and again.

childe was more handsy, sometimes not-so-accidentally brushing his knuckles against your own in order to see your flustered reaction. he was the one to whisper harmless flirts into your ear. if you ever tripped in front of him, he’d be the first to wrap his arms around you and tell you that you looked beautiful falling for him. the man enjoyed teasing you, though would ensure that he never made you uncomfortable around him. thoma, on the other hand, was more chivalrous when showing his affections. he’d be the first to offer you a jacket if you got cold, holding your umbrella for you at the first sight of rain.

you couldn’t deny that the more you got to know your brother’s best friends, the more you found yourself developing a childish crush on them. it was silly at first, though the butterflies in your stomach every time they showed up at the door or when you heard their voices through your brother’s speakerphone became more prevalent with time.

still, each time you interacted with them, ayato was present. he just thought the actions of his best friends were a feat of platonic compassion, never hearing the flustering comments or harmless teases that went on behind his back. this weekend you had plans to hang out at thoma’s apartment. it would be a great way to relax after a few tough days of work for them and classes for you. ayato felt awful as he told you that something had come up, and he had to head out of town for a few days to tend to some business.

“you can go without me. i trust them to take good care of you, if you’re okay with it.”

you considered your brother’s offer for a moment. sure, you were comfortable around childe and thoma, but it felt as though without ayato you would lose your shield. your trust in the two men still reigned supreme, agreeing to the proposition.

when saturday finally came, you were nervous. ayato did his best to comfort you, reminding you that it was okay to change your mind at any moment. it was rather hot outside, so you wore a pretty sundress that complimented your curves perfectly, coming down to just above your knees. your brother was already out of town, so childe had offered to come and pick you up so that you wouldn’t have to catch public transport or walk.

as soon as you answered the door, he wolf whistled at your appearance. your face heated up, instinctively pulling down the hem of the fabric.

“i’ll go change, then we can go,” your voice was barely above a whisper, refusing to look childe in the eyes.

“no need, girlie. you look cute,” a small smile broke out on your face at his kind words. “come on, let’s get going. wouldn’t wanna keep taromaru waiting for ya now, would we?”

it was no joke that you loved thoma’s dog. the comment made you laugh as you picked up your jacket, following childe to his car. it didn’t take too long for you to arrive, the excited dog pouncing on you as soon as you entered the apartment. you barely had time to throw down your bag, instead letting thoma grab it from your arm as you knelt to greet the animal.

“never thought i would be jealous of a mutt,” childe mumbled under his breath, quiet enough for only thoma to hear.

the two men did their best to make you feel at home, passing you some of your favorite snacks as taromaru fell asleep on your lap. any time your nerves would begin to get the better of you, they were instantly calmed by thoma’s soft words or childe’s calming touch.

during some random movie, you found your head resting on thoma’s shoulder, ready to doze off in his warmth. his heart grew at your sleepy affection, childe’s jealous gaze unbeknownst to you.

“hey,” thoma’s large hand brushed stray hair from your face, bringing your attention to him. “you can take a nap in the guest room, if you’d like.”

not fully aware of your surroundings, you only wrapped an arm around the blonde, pulling yourself deeper into his warmth. “you’re comfy,” your voice barely above a whisper. the way you nuzzled into him made thoma want to wrap you in his protective embrace, though the blood rushing to his crotch at your closeness was growing difficult to ignore.

“princess, if you don’t get off of me i don’t think i can hold back much longer,”

thoma regretted the words as soon as they fell from his lips. you looked to him quizzically, wondering what he’d meant. the poor man looked rather flustered, pretty blush spreading across his cheeks.

“hold back what, thoma?” childe looked at his friend knowingly, not being above teasing his friend. he was jealous of how close you were to the other man, and what better way to communicate this by playing with him. “something you’d like to share with us?”

“n-no!” thoma had practically yelled. it hurt you a little bit, the daydream of one of these two men reciprocating your silly little crush seeming lessened. your sleepiness dissipated, being replaced by curiosity.

“what’s wrong?” you asked him. thoma made the mistake of looking into your doe eyes, expression softening. “did i do something?”

“no!” his voice was calmer than last time, “it’s not your fault, princess. it’s mine,”

“i don’t get it, thoma. you’ve not done anything wrong,”

he tried to mutter an apology, an explanation, literally anything, but all that came out were stutters.

“seems like someone’s got a little crush,” childe interjected, utterly amused at the situation. “care to dispute, thoma?”

thoma’s face was bright red from embarrassment. the pair of them had a pact to never reveal their true feelings, yet now childe was playing the cards? he worried you would rush to another room, call ayato, and relay the events that took place without him present. your brother had trusted the pair with you, yet they were behaving like immature teenagers.

“i-i-i mean, umm, who wouldn’t like a girl like you, huh?” his hand scratched the back of his neck, eyes looking anywhere but at you. childe stayed silent, waiting for thoma to crack. meanwhile your own heart was moments away from fleeing your chest and landing on the wooden coffee table. you wanted to confess your adoration for both men, though you still felt as though thoma didn’t actually reciprocate your feelings.

“okay fine! i can’t take it anymore!” thoma was near yelling, enough to startle taromaru from his nap. “yes, i like you, princess. more than i should. i understand if you want to go home, never see me again. ayato would kill me if-”

your hand on his thigh hushed him. a small smile appeared on your face, looking up at him with wide eyes. “i like you too, thoma. more than i should.”

a moment passed of the two of you just staring at one another, both assessing the weight of your words. you wondered what would come next, fear of which prevented you from breaking the silence. childe, however, decided to clear his throat from the armchair nearby.

“as sweet as this whole dynamic is, i know you look at me the same way, girlie.” there was a touch of venom directed at thoma in childe’s words, making you gulp in unease. you just looked to him as he stalked towards you. “if you like us and we like you, well, there’s only one way around it. right, comrade?” he was addressing thoma. the two of them had discussed how they felt about you before, childe even implying that he would be happy to engage in some kind of… arrangement where they both got what they desired. thoma believed the ginger was merely joking, perhaps trapped in some sort of lewd thought experiment.

“i’m okay with it,” thoma replied, gaze returning to meet your own. “if you are, that is.”

childe’s hungry glare told you what he was implying, though you wanted him to confirm it. your silence conveyed your confusion to the pair.

“we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, alright?” thoma spoke up, a slight shake present in his tone. “if you’d like to leave, one of us can take you home. or we can call you an u-.”

“no,” you replied quietly. “want to be here with you, both of you.”

childe cleared some of the knick knacks from thoma’s coffee table, perching on the edge of it in front of you. “been with many guys, girlie? how many immature college boys have gotten under that pretty dress of yours?”

“childe, you can’t just-”

“three,” you cut thoma off, drawing their attention just to you. “never two at once, though.”

“would you like to? take both of us at once?”

childe’s words made the breath catch in your throat. you felt flustered, reassured only by thoma’s hand gently wrapping around your own. “please,” you consented.

thoma wasted no time pulling you into his lap, letting you straddle his muscular thighs. the dress you wore pooled at your hips and you felt exposed already, embarrassed and hot face finding its way into thoma’s shoulder.

“’s okay, sweetheart. tell us if you’re uncomfortable, okay?”

childe’s hands moved onto your hips, rubbing shapes into your clothed skin to comfort you. you felt safe, you wanted this, and that’s what you told them. thoma suggested that it would be better to head to his bedroom, so the three of you did. you clung to him as he lifted you up, supporting your lower body with one arm and caging you to his chest with another. he rested you on the mattress, situating himself between your thighs. he looked at you for consent before capturing your lips in his own, movements soft and gentle. butterflies flapped their wings in your stomach, euphoria already pulsing through your veins.

“don’t forget about me, girlie.” childe’s calloused fingers shifted your face towards his. his kiss was rougher, more possessive than thoma’s. you were on cloud nine, worried that if one of them were to pinch you, you would wake up back in your bed at home.

thoma’s mouth connected to your neck, pressing light pecks along the exposed skin. once he reached your collarbone, he pushed the material of your dress down your arm, tugging at the zip on your back. the fabric fell, exposing your lacy pink bra to the men before you. the blonde stared in awe for a moment, leaving childe’s playful voice to fill the void.

“so fucking cute, girlie,” his comment was breathy, blood rushing to his dick rather than to his brain. “better than i imagined.”

your face burnt with embarrassment, flustered by both the situation and childe’s forwardness. thoma’s lips were still painting your soft flesh with a barrage of butterfly kisses, slowly coming closer to your breasts. your eyes were screwed shut, caught in the daze of the blonde’s ministrations. he kept his hands on your hips, keeping you anchored to reality.

when thoma reached the fabric encasing your chest, he looked to you for reassurance. you opened your eyes when he stopped kissing you, instead meeting the emerald orbs that one could compare to a golden retriever puppy. it filled you with warmth, a giggly smile spreading across your cheeks as your felt like a lovesick schoolgirl. childe took that as a sign to undo the clasp of your bra. shrugging the lace from your body, the cool air nipping at your exposed skin made you gasp.

the ginger pulled you into a kiss once again, teeth clashing against one another. your lips parted in shock as thoma encased your nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the hardening bud. childe took it as an ample opportunity to slide his own tongue in to your wet cavern, his hand resting on the back of your neck to deepen the kiss.

you were in a state of bliss as thoma slipped one of his hands between your thighs, tracing tiny shapes over the sensitive skin near your heat. you wanted out of the last few shreds of clothing keeping you from your brother’s best friends, and for them to be rid of theirs. your hips subconsciously bucked against thoma’s hand, desperate for more friction.

“princess,” the pet name made your stomach do a flip, “lay back for us, okay?”

childe released your lips, leaving them slightly swollen and bruised. he helped you rest back against thoma’s pillows before beginning an assault on your neck, this time sucking deep purple marks into your pretty skin.

thoma raised your hips, pulling your dress off of you entirely. you were left in only those pretty pink panties, slick sticking them to your untouched cunt. he traced a long finger over the fabric, adding some pressure around your clothed clit. the way you squirmed told him how sensitive your body was, how excited the anticipation had you. he once again asked for permission before dipping his fingers past your waistband, digits gently rubbing at your folds.

“hey, who said you get first dibs, comrade?” childe laughed playfully. you whined at the loss of contact from him as he moved to position himself closer to thoma. “can we take it off?”

a tender “please,” fell from your lips. thoma removed his fingers, placing them in his mouth and groaning at how heavenly you tasted. meanwhile childe peeled your panties away, eager to see you fully exposed and vulnerable underneath him. barely a moment after discarding the fabric, the ginger’s mouth was attached to your cunny. his movements were greedy and rough, making the knot in your stomach tighten at the sensation.

“slow down,” thoma warned, bringing himself to stroke your hair.

“what, are you jealous she’s already about to cum on my tongue?” your thighs wrapped around childe’s head as he dove back into your pussy, his pace remaining just as unrelenting. his wet muscle lapped up the juices pooling at your entrance, his ginger locks tickling the skin of your inner thigh. thoma, not wanting to be left out, offered lithe fingers to massage your clit, pushing you closer to the edge.

you could barely string together a sentence telling them that you were about to cum before you were falling apart for the first time tonight. struggling to hold back your moans, you shook as your orgasm washed over you. the two men continued to touch you until you had fully come down from your high, wishing to elongate the ecstasy coursing through your veins. it was a challenge to catch your breath for a moment, body instinctively seeking out the warmth of the man closest to you. thoma was still at your side, thus was the recipient of you curling towards him. he took you in his arms, engulfing you in his comforting embrace. he hushed you as you nuzzled into him, childe licking your juices from his own lips before joining your entanglement of limbs.

“you did so well, princess.” thoma cooed. “do you want to stop?”

you shook your head. “wan' you to feel good too,” you muttered into the man’s skin.

“it’s okay, sweetheart. we’re here for you, don’t worry about us.” childe added.

“want more,” you pleaded. neither of them were about to deny you of your wishes. childe pulled away from you to remove his shirt, pulling you towards him to let thoma do the same. you pressed sloppy kisses along childe’s collarbone, making the bulge in his pants tighter with each peck.

“so pretty for us,” he babbled. “can we fuck you, girlie? think that sweet little cunt can take us?”

you felt flustered at his choice of words, yet couldn’t ignore the heat that rushed to your pussy. “please, please,” you chanted.

childe turned your body around so that your back was pressed against his chest, maintaining the warmth that radiated from his bare skin. thoma caught onto what the other man was planning with great speed, helping him to spread your legs open. he doused you in reassuring forehead kisses before pressing one of his palms flat on your open thigh, the other bringing two fingers to the dampness between your legs.

“gonna make sure you’re ready, okay, princess?”

childe’s large hands supported you, fingertips drawing small shapes into your exposed flesh. thoma started gentle, easing a finger into your hole. he noted how your walls clamped around him and began whispering a barrage of praises, hoping to repel any tension or discomfort you felt. when combined with childe’s soft kisses, your pussy loosened around the blonde’s digit.

“taking my finger so well, such a good girl,” thoma curled his finger to discover the spongy patch that made your toes curl. he added another, massaging the sweet spot inside of you. your cute moans and pretty whines made both men more aroused, stoking the fire in their pants. thoma was sure not to make you cum just yet, selfishly wanting to be buried inside of you before you were spent.

“thomaaa,” you cried softly, grabbing the attention of both men. “please, need more,”

they took this as a sign that you had grown more comfortable, allowing them to lean into their carnal urges a little more. thoma removed his fingers from you, once again licking your wetness from his digits. you squirmed as he kissed you afterwards, the taste of your own juices feeling dirty.

“don’t like the taste, sweetheart?” childe teased, keeping your wandering mind occupied as thoma slid out of his sweatpants. your mouth watered at the sight of his cock springing to hit his stomach. he was bigger than other boys that you’d been with: a long, curved shaft topped with a blushing red tip. your walls fluttered at the mere sight of it.

childe laid you back onto the bed, making sure you were ready for thoma. he made no move to spit a jealous comment, simply focusing on your comfort. his calloused fingers danced over your plush tits, rolling and tugging at your nipples. you struggled to stay still, wriggling as childe played with you. your thighs pressed together, growing more and more desperate for some friction.

the mattress dipped as thoma propped himself down, opening your legs for him. as he rolled a condom onto his cock, his thumb ran over your folds ensuring you were definitely ready for him. he pumped his length a few times before aligning it with your entrance. your hips bucked up to meet his, to which he held your body down, hushing you.

“princess,” his soft voice filled your ears, “stay still. i’ll fill you up, i promise.”

childe came to his aid, palms keeping your body pressed flat against the bed. this allowed for thoma to grasp the undersides of your knees, pulling you closer to him. the man was slow as he slid inside of you, relishing in every squeeze and bump of your sweet cunt wrapped around him. you could feel each inch of him, bulging vein brushing over your sweet spot and length reaching your deepest parts.

“shit, princess. taking me so well,”

thoma paused when he bottomed out, allowing your drooling pussy to fully adjust to him. childe moved to rest your head on his lap, giving him the perfect view of your face contorting in pleasure.

“move, please, please, please,” you whined. thoma’s grip on your legs tightened, using it as leverage to begin fucking into your soppy hole. you looked close to being fucked out already, practically drunk on the man’s cock. he couldn’t help the guilt pang in his chest for violating his best friend’s sister in suck manner, though the feeling of your walls sucking him in soothed him.

your head lolled from side to side, making childe regret his positioning. your cheeks rubbed his own cock, prompting him to slip it out of its confinement of his pants. he opted for fucking his own fist, leaving you to be properly treated by thoma. even in your dazed state you took note of this, attempting to press sloppy kisses to the base of his length. no matter how many times he stroked your hair and tried to get you to refocus on yourself, your desire to take him in your mouth prevailed.

“wanna taste my cock that bad, girlie?” he chuckled. you nodded violently, voice useless as thoma’s thrusts had you moaning like a broken record. childe was surprised at your reaction, having anticipated being met with your regular flustered expression.

both men were on the same page, helping you flip over onto your stomach. the blonde continued pistoning his hips to meet your own, childe sitting back against the pillows. you leaned on your elbows, raising your head towards his cock. he was kind despite his incessant teasing, guiding your lips towards him. the pace was entirely yours to set, letting his shaft bounce in front of you until you were ready.

you placed kitten licks to his tip, collecting the salty precum on your tongue. he refused to hold back his own groans, encouraging you to continue. you flattened your tongue as you took his cock in your mouth, fist pumping the parts you couldn’t fit in.

“fuck, fuck, shit,” a string of curses fell from his mouth, “such a good girl,”

thoma noticed how your walls tightened at the praise once again. he should have known someone as sweet as your would be receptive to something so very innocent. once you had found your rhythm with childe, he raised your hips higher so that he could pound into you more effectively.

“you’re doing so well, princess,” his cock sank deeper inside of you, tip kissing your cervix ever so gently. your moans came out as gurgles around childe’s cock, vibrations pushing him closer to the edge. “so good at sucking him off, aren’t ya?”

“fuck, sweetheart, i’m close,” childe confessed. “want me to cum in your mouth, darlin’?”

instead of answering, you only attempted to take him further down your throat. thoma helped by rubbing a couple of tight circles around your swollen clit, the noises falling from your lips aiding in childe’s release. thick spurts of cum hit the back of your throat, with you swallowing each drop he gave you. you made no move to pull off of him until he had stopped, giving him a moment to come down from his high.

“do you trust me, princess?” thoma asked breathily, telling you that he too was growing close. you lifted your head from the mattress to tell him that of course you did. a wanton mewl filled the space as he pulled his cock out of you, repositioning your body once again. before you knew it you were on your back, knees pressed against your chest and dripping pussy fully on display.

“so good, so good, so good,” thoma repeated as he once again plunged into your cunt. his arms wrapped around you as he kept you folded below him, the closeness making your stomach stir. childe sat himself next to you, somehow finding his way though the entanglement of limbs to toy with your clit. if it wasn’t for the tight hold thoma had on you, you were certain you’d be thrashing on his mattress. cute little squeals left your lips, barely able to utter that you were about to cum.

“we’ve got you, sweetheart” childe comforted, free hand caressing your cheek.

it felt like a firework had been lit inside of your gut and was nearing the end of its fuse. thoma’s whisper of “cum on my cock, pretty girl,” sent you over the edge. your body shook as your dripping cunt gushed, contracting around the man sheathed inside of you. you moaned both of their names as your juices leaked out of you, dirtying anything you came into contact with.

thoma did his best to hold back his cum, not wanting for it to be wasted on the latex. he pulled out of you as he couldn’t resist the clenching of your walls any longer. “can i cum on your tits, princess?” the words still sounded so nasty, though you obliged willingly. your knees fell from your prior position, exhausted body slumped over thoma’s duvet. your chest was fully on display for him, it only taking a couple of strokes of his length for him to spill his seed all over you.

childe kept his attention on you as thoma flopped down on your other side. he hushed you as you trembled, sensitive with the aftershocks of your second orgasm. you curled into his touch, the ginger recalling your clinginess from the first time you came that night.

“so cute,” he cooed, “you did so well for us,”

thoma, now somewhat recuperated, hopped into his bathroom to retrieve a damp washcloth. when he returned to you, he wiped away the mess he’d made on your chest and any remnants that childe had left around your face. the gentleness of his touches brought back those butterflies in your stomach, body craving the warmth radiating from both men. your eyes fluttered, lids feeling heavy.

“tired, princess?” thoma noticed. “let’s get you cleaned up first. think you can make it to the bathroom?”

though you nodded, the pained groans you emitted as you tried to sit up told you otherwise. two pairs of hands were immediately at your aid, ready to catch your frail body should you fall. thoma was the one to take initiative, scooping you into his arms. one slid under your knees, the other around your torso. “now you really are a princess, aren’t ya?” he laughed. you felt weak, only able to shoot him a lovey dovey smile in response. he sat you down on the bathroom counter, filling his tub with water for you. childe had followed in behind the pair of you, providing you with his undivided attention as thoma drew you a bath.

“anywhere hurt, sweetheart?” he inquired. you thought for a moment, though your body had yet to fully return to the state of reality. the ginger picked up on this, wrapping you in a tight hug in attempt to ground you somewhat. his hand traced over a spot on your hip that made you wince, giving him the answer that he desired. his nimble fingers rubbed at the skin, wishing to relieve some of your pain. however, all it did was overwhelm your fragile state, light tears rolling down your cheeks. childe held you closer to him as you cried, the trademark teasing nature of the man long forgotten. “shhh, it’s okay, you’re okay,” as his words failed to calm you, he opted for softly humming a tune that he used to comfort his younger siblings. the only three sounds in the room were childe’s sweet harmony, the running water, and your quiet sobs.

“oh, baby,” thoma’s voice seemed even more gentle, were that even possible. the gravity of your situation began to dawn upon you, fear of facing your brother fueling your cries. “everything is alright, i promise you, princess.” the authenticity of the words felt like a blood pact, a pledge to protect you from anything that the world could throw at you. as your eyes met his and crossed to childe’s you felt yourself begin to relax.

“’m sorry,” you muttered, looking to the floor.

“you have nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart.” childe pressed a kiss to the crown of your head.

“it’s okay to be overwhelmed — god knows i’ve had moments like that too. we’re here for you, princess. how about we leave you to clean up? i’ll leave the door unlocked - just call if you need one of us, okay?”

you seemed to have regained some strength as you nodded, thoma understanding that you may need a moment alone. he picked out a pair of his sweats and a hoodie for you to change into once you were clean. the pair left you to bathe and stew with your own thoughts for now, ensuring that the couch was set up with blankets and pillows galore, a movie ready to play as soon as you were ready. childe had even ordered your favorite takeout, noting that you would likely be rather hungry after tonight’s events. both men would absolutely dote on you once you returned to them, pushing worries of your brother’s reaction to the back of your mind.

little did the three of you know, ayato would much rather you date one of his best friends as he already trusted the duo extensively - the only shock to him would be your feelings for both of them.

do not repost. reblogs appreciated !

#[ ⭐ ] fauna writes #[ ☁️ ] thoma #[ ☁️ ] childe #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #thoma smut #thoma x reader #childe smut #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #tartaglia smut

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nikkicola · 1 year

Text

— The Empty Space Between Us | Kaveh

precis. you miss kaveh

word count. 330

pairing. gn!reader x kaveh

genre. angst, no comfort

note. very short, self-indulgent, sorry not sorry

The glow of the moon cast across all of Sumeru, a blanket of tranquility covered the nation, where not a single sound was uttered by the environment. The sky was clear, the stars twinkled and danced within the void as if putting on a show for your own entertainment. It was truly a beautiful sight to bear witness to.

Your hands caressed the balustrade of your balcony as you set your eyes on the show above you. A shaky breath escaped past your lips as you remembered that your lover had been gone on his business trip for weeks on end, the exact amount of days was unknown to you. Although you were aware that it was impossible to spend every single moment of time with him, that didn’t make being left alone any better.

Being alone always made you anxious, you felt empty and numb whenever he was gone. As if a piece of you was taken away. You tried not to feel this way, conscious that you were your own person and he was his. But you just couldn’t help it. You wished his business trip would end earlier, you wished that he would just burst through your door unannounced at that instant. But you knew, you knew that dependency on another isn’t healthy. You didn’t want your happiness to rely solely on Kaveh’s existence.

However, the feeling of missing him was overwhelming. You wanted the warmth of his hand placed on your face, you wanted the protective feeling of his hug to confine you, you wanted him. But that was impossible right now. You wanted to slap yourself and be reminded that wanting is a selfish act.

Your eyes drifted down from the sky, putting focus onto your hands that were now gripping the barrier with great strength. Tears blurred your vision, with your heart thumping harshly against your chest. Wanting is a selfish act, but there is never a day that passes where I don’t want you.

note. this entire blog is literally just me projecting my life experiences onto genshin-reader inserts. miss my s/o :(

this may have multiple parts hehe

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #kaveh #kaveh x reader #kaveh genshin impact #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact imagines

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cosmic-kaden · 3 months

Note

Here my friend!! 🎫 A pass for you to gush about whoever you would like! :3 (dragonsmooch)

Hi, I've had this since the start of January and back then I didn't have the ability to gush because I wasn't sinking in feelings of a love I didn't know I could have again SO hello! Hi, I'm sorry about what I'm about to unleash on you :3 incoherent gush incoming!

UNDER READ MORE CAUSE L O N G

Ahem Chapter 1. kldjdlskf

What's to say that I've not already said? Ben has completely taken over, not just my blog but my heart and soul. what can I say? I feel hard and I fell fast. It's hard to describe but he has this aura about him (aside from when he was initially a jackass lol) but later there's an aura about him that I just feel connected to. I also relate to his youth as my youth was similar in a sense of us both feeling like our parent(s) were never there for us. They were always busy doing something else leaving us to our own devices it was lonely. Anyways I won't get too much into it but I do relate with a lot of things that Ben goes through they aren't extreme by a long shot but I get what he did the things he did. I don't condone it in the slightest but I do understand.

If I was anywhere else telling any other people that Ben actually makes me feel alive and excited to wake up in the morning they would probably tell me I was crazy and to seek professional help because they don't understand. It's true though Ben not only sparked my creativity but he sparked my love for life again. To open my eyes and be excited for what will happen in the day as opposed to waking up and wishing I could just go back to bed. He helps me remember daily tasks. "He'd want me to _" I have felt so much happier ever since Ben came into my life.

Want to hear a funny story? I don't know if you were following me at the time but I did see Th.e Fo.rc.e Aw.ake.ns in thatres when it came out(Which I have to fix on my own gush post because it made it sound like I didn't see the first one when I did lol) anyways I mentioned it very briefly on my old self-ship blog that I thought Ky.l.o R.e.n was badass and I admitted that he was pretty cute- I guess the universe wasn't ready for us to find each other yet. Least that's what I like to think. I didn't need him like I do right now.

It's so baffling to me, like my logical side knows he's a fictional man but then the rest of me just feels overwhelmed by the love and happiness I feel merely just thinking about him to the point where I feel like he is actually my real boyfriend as if somewhere in time and space there is a universe out there where we actually exist together and that universe is sending signals or crossing over and I'm feeling what the other me feels everyday, its sounds very idiotic when I say it out loud but it's something I like to think about often.

Ben really said "I'm here now and I'm going ensure you're never unhappy ever again" Really, when friends message me or I'm tagged in something or anything really there are moments where I catch myself, I didn't fake the smile I smiled with my eyes too. I'm genuinely happy and excited to hear about my friends ships. That's not to say I wasn't excited before but it would always get that pang in my heart "Why can I feel like that too?" and then I'd feel really sad. For the longest time I felt like I was a malfunction.

chapter 2 where I talk about the feral man's appearance and actually get to the gushing.

Oh cute, you thought I was kidding about the chapters /lh

This man has such a grip on me. He's the most beautiful man I've ever laid my eyes on. for real, he makes my heart melt. He's tall and handsome what's not to love?

His eyes are absolutely gorgeous! Those beautiful brown eyes, like sunlight shining through a whiskey glass. I love how his eyes can look so honeyed in some scenes and then when it's dark they look like beautiful pools of obsidian. His gaze is intense and I will be the first to admit it makes me weak in the knees.

I love his lips too..they're so full and the look so soft~ I love imagining kissing him more often than I like to admit. Our lips would fit so perfectly together. I also sort of like it when he pouts, something doesn't quite go his way and its a pout~ It's actually really cute.

I. LOVE. THIS. MANS. SMILE! and its such a shame that I only get to see his precious smile just ONCE and it has to be a stupid dumb canon x canon moment. Thankfully I can tune the other one out and just focus on Ben and gods his smile completely ruined me in the best of ways! he has the prettiest smile I've ever seen. He smiles and it feels like a ray of light engulfs my entire heart and I can't help but smile too because his smile is so contagious!!!

I love his hands too, might sound weird ik but just thinking about him locking his fingers with mine as he holds my hand fills my stomach with butterflies~

you see I did good, I waited until now to say, I think about gripping this mans hair and running my hands through it SO OFTEN its a problem! I love his hair, its so thick and when its all messy and he looks all disheveled I feel my face explode. (Meaning I instantly blush and its too hot for my cheeks lol)

Did you read this far? THANKS IM SORRY I just have a lot of feelings for this man. He means the absolute world to me and I am so so happy! /srs Thank you for letting me gush and I'm sorry it took so long!

THIS MAN IS EVERYTHING TO ME <3

#gushing.png #Ben; 💜#You had me under spell right from the start;

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rinbowaman · 8 months

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hi reina my love,

im so sorry I went inactive for two days I was super busy and just couldnt cope and keep up with everything going on in my life right now and rarely had time to open my phone. But I promise that i’ll always try to make it up to you whether it be this week or in the next days.

I cant forgive myself knowing I didnt greet you on your birthday!!!! oh my lord…I will forever be guilted by this…well in that case here’s a letter I made hehe <33

Dear Reina,

I wanted to take a moment to express my gratitude for your presence in my life. Even though we haven't met in person, you have become such an important part of my daily routine. Our conversations, shared thoughts, and laughs have become my solace in times of stress and my celebration in times of joy.

I appreciate your willingness to listen, your kind words, and your willingness to share your own experiences. You have provided me with a sounding board, a cheerleader, and a confidante. Knowing that you are just a message away gives me such comfort and peace. You are such an incredibly talented and beautiful person and though I haven’t seen your face, I know your gorgeous inside and out. Talking to you, reading your writings, and sending my reactions to you knowing I was able to make you smile is and always will ne the highlight of my day.

I feel incredibly lucky to have you as my best friend. Im not sure if you know this but, you truly have made a positive impact on my life, and I hope that I have done the same for you. I look forward to continuing our journey together, sharing more laughs, and making more memories.

Thank you for being such an amazing friend.

I wish you the happiest birthday ever!!!!! you deserve everything and more. I love you always.

With so much love,

Nik

oh my girl! dont worry about the bday, i purposely left it out bc i get too overwhelmed by letting ppl know about my birthdate lol. i'm so glad to hear back from you, i know you've been busy. hows ballet practice?

and i just want to say that your message, along with @iamliacamila , @heeshees , @moonmoongi and my Em anon and everyone else that have sent me bday wishes and heartfelt messages, i love you all. these messages make my day and make life truly worth living for. i love that i am able to bring you guys joy and content within this blog, and allow your minds to escape reality, I'm a firm believer that we need to be a little delulu to keep ourselves sane lol. but i am so happy that i made this blog to connect and make friends, which was something i was lacking bc i just never really had the opportunity to make a whole lot in person. but this is way better if you ask me lol. to think that it all started from my friend who stans enhypen, and convinced me to make this blog and turn my fics into heeseung fics lol. ofc i had to pick her brain and have her educate me on who the hell enhypen was, and still, there are some days that i have to hit her up for some new photos or information to reflect in the fics, but i'm glad that i know about them solely bc i get to meet and become friends with you and everyone else. <3

this photo is something i'm vibing to rn bc i have a big cheese eating grin on my face lol.

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hobbit-in-kuroshitsuji · 1 year

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Kuroshitcember 2022 Prompt Nr. 6

Please read the CW before reading this one :)

Prompt: Caskets and coffins, colds and collectibles. Write something about the Undertaker and his fresh clients of winter deaths!

You can find all prompts here!

All of these will be uploaded/archived to this blog's Ao3 eventually

Summary: The Undertaker has a busy couple of winter months ahead of him. What helps is that he likes his job and that he has something to amuse him... Lord Phantomhive's act. CW: open bodies, bodies, death, dead child, dead bodies, human experiments, anatomy studies, veins, human experiments, mortuary. This has serious Kuroshitsuji spoilers, if you don't know about O!Ciel and R!Ciel, do not read unless you want to be spoiled. Please also be aware that I went off a bit with my own HC regarding what we see in the Undertaker's mortuary, and I haven't read the latest few chapters yet so some things might be non-canon at this point too <3

ahem... it's a first draft so be gentle on me lads 👉👈

“Now rest, my young lord…” The wooden structure fit snugly with the rest of the casket; a lid of protection, darkness and peace. Hidden from view and slowly being filled with the life-giving fluid that would ensure his wounds healed along with his cinematic record. “I have to work…”

A high pitched, calm little laugh left the Undertaker, black leather boots taking him soundlessly across the room where his “other” patients lay waiting.

Winter was a time where many died. Those with names, money and family, however, didn’t come to the Undertaker. The Undertaker dealt with those nameless, unloved and easily forgotten. The poor, downtrodden and unwanted.

In London, the number of unwanted souls was plenty. Orphanages, workhouses… streets filled with those given no second chances.

Those bodies could not stay lying about. So the Undertaker offered his services, to police, to nobles doing the Queen’s bidding… To scientists that took children from workhouses for their sickening anatomy studies… To nobles’ ‘accidental’ loss of a daughter they never wanted to begin with…

They all came to be in the Undertaker’s care, for a gentle touch, a proper last goodbye… and so they wouldn’t be alone for their last moment in the mortal realm.

It was an aspect to reaping that Grim Reapers didn’t get. And an aspect to his new life that he cherished.

During winter, harsh temperatures took the sick from life, and placed them on his tables. So when all his tables were filled, and more bodies were expected that day, the Undertaker wasn’t surprised, nor was he overwhelmed. This was his job, he loved it.

Yet… he couldn’t help but feel something when his patient was a little boy, the same age as Ciel, who died from a head trauma… and whose body had been cut open to reveal the veins. They’d been moved about, candlewax forced into the major arteries for better view…

Anatomy studies.

This boy had never known love, and in his last moment, some scientist had decided to use him for science.

The Undertaker didn’t quite understand why the boy was given to him whilst still so fresh though – until he saw the slight defect in the boy’s heart and realised the boy hadn’t been perfect for them, and no longer valuable for studying.

“Don’t you worry…” The Undertaker voiced, smile still on his lips despite the emotions within his dead heart. “You will have your peace now…”

His green eyes shifted back to the casket before he voiced: “I wish nothing like this had ever happened to you.”

Approaching footsteps and the faint stench of despair, hatred and darkness alerted the Undertaker to the fact he was about to have a guest. Throwing white sheets over each of his ‘patients’, he made sure to position himself right next to the casket holding his almost alive brother, grinning widely at the fact he knew so much more…

So… much… more…

“Eheheheheheee….” The Undertaker startled Lord Phantomhive, but not his butler, as the two entered the dimly lit cabin. “My, my… and what brings you, little lord, to my humble abode?”

A disturbed look passed over the lord’s eye, gaze fleetingly taking in the massive amount of iced bodies, before focusing back on the Undertaker. Not once did his eye flicker to what most likely would disturb him more than the dead… the casket against which the Undertaker was leaning… surrounded by salt, garlic, and other strange items to ensure the demon that travelled with the little lord didn’t get a whiff of chemicals…

It was truly delectably funny, more laughter escaping the Undertaker under his breath whilst he listened to Phantomhive’s request.

“The winter months are busy days… If you wish to find a specific body, you have to first pay…” grinned the Undertaker, hands still on his most precious casket.

Despite the busy winter months, the Undertaker still had something to amuse him… the lord Phantomhive’s dramatic act he kept on playing, unaware of the Undertaker’s knowledge…

__ taglist: @eemoo1o-animoo

#kuroshitcember #kuroshitsuji #cw #mentioned gore #death #veins #anatomy studies #human experiments #dead bodies #dead child #kuroshitsuji spoilers #the undertaker #o!ciel #r!ciel #reapers #black butler #hobbit's kuroshitcember 2022

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escape-rock-bottom · 1 year

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Journal #25 - I'm Not Supposed to be Here (Discomfort Challenge Journal)

This is an interesting fact that I didn’t actually know until I was watching a random YouTube video a while ago: You can apparently take house tours for houses you can’t even afford and they won’t bother to check beforehand if you can. You can literally find a nice place, set a tour date and time or attend an open house, and no one will say a dang thing about it. However, I still got the feeling I would be lying or trespassing in some way. I was still curious though.

When I was setting my discomfort challenges, I remembered this. Since it was in line with my future goals (gotta know where you’re moving to before you actually do so) I set a discomfort challenge to do this. I found an apartment complex that interested me in an ideal future price range that I actually could afford given my income goals. However, I definitely hesitated to set the date until far later in the month.

Originally, I just intended to do this as a way to face my fear of searching for apartments to move into as I have been getting overwhelmed with the thought of where to move. I figured I should start looking just to get an idea of where I would possibly move once I began making the necessary income since I had no clue where I could possibly go. To me, it’s important that I do plan for big commitments such as this. Walking up to the building was nerve-wracking. I tried to remember the saying “look like you’re supposed to be there and you won’t be questioned” and put on my best “I have business to attend to” demeanor. I eased up when I was met with only kindness and understanding as I informed them I was there for a tour. All my fears of being out of place melted away and I genuinely enjoyed the tour (Lemme say this, that was one siiiiiiiick apartment complex. I actually really like it but I don’t know about the location. Anyways-)

I didn’t expect that walking out of those doors I would have discovered something new and powerful. I remember hearing someone mention it on YouTube once, but it wasn’t originally the motivation behind the challenge. While an outlandish, potentially unrealistic idea, it made sense:

Physically put yourself in the place you wish to be in the future. Pretend you are your future self.

There is some insane power behind test driving your dream car, touring potential dream homes, and planning your ideal life by looking through catalogs and making dream boards. No joke, stepping into that building, I began imagining myself living there (and being able to effortlessly afford it) and as we walked through I pictured what I’d do and how I’d feel being there.

I know I wouldn’t be able to afford it right now, but think about it: If I set my goal to make the kind of income to afford this kind of thing, and take action towards it, where could that possibly get me?

I do think this idea is worth its own deep dive, but for now, I will leave you with this food for thought: Think about where you wish to be in the future. It can be a financial thing, a material thing, a mental thing, or a general desire. Try to see if you can put yourself in that place physically. Want to work towards a shiny new Ferrari? Test drive one. Be aware of the feeling of driving and looking at it. Pretend it’s already yours. When you leave, remember those feelings and make your plan of action.

There’s power in imagination and emotion. The more feelings and imaginative reality you attach to your goals, the more likely you will be to stay focused and take action for it. I know for sure visiting that apartment complex only made me want it more, and it reignited my drive to work towards it. I will try my best to keep that alive until one day I’m writing these blog posts from my very own home with my very own stable income, then I’ll be hopping into my very own car to meet my new, cool friends.

Lastly, don’t let anyone tell you you’re nuts for looking into things you can’t afford or have but wish to. There’s a difference between delusion and dreaming, and I’m pretty sure it’s not delusional to want to work towards nice things for yourself.

#drvn30 #self improvement #imagination #future

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elusivem8 · 1 year

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The Workload and Its Dread

I always liked having multiple jobs; being a jack of all trades made me feel like everything is what I have always chased. As soon as I stepped into university, I have always wanted to do something else asides from my coursework and projects. Earlier than that, I have had hobbies that will permanently be misaligned with my career choices or professional aspirations.

It made me think right now, as someone 25 years old, that I may have two reasons for this.

Every once a week, I meet my coworkers and the students at uni and the pay is not adequate enough that I have to be at the office only for the rest of the time, receive surprise phone calls I receive from inquiries that are at least bearable and trying to communicate as a lifeless always happy customer service person, the recent demand that I must do my job or else they will decrease my salary. It overwhelmed me.

This week, every day, I was exhausted, and the period did not help me from being able to endure everything. I always ensure to talk to my boyfriend while I am at work as I am not doing anything, but being dragged out of my zone of monotonously doing my other jobs from phone calls and requests that heed, it was not a pleasant time.

I apologized to my boyfriend about it and not being able to have time with him this week. He mentioned that it was genuinely understandable and that it would be best to tell him if I was busy because of being interrupted by work demands. He considers us talking on the phone as distractions that may interrupt my workflow. Somehow, now I am typing this, he is right. Although again, my insecure attachment issues came into play, and I told him that he might eventually run out of patience with me.

We talked about this almost every day until he said that if there was anything I could help him out with, it would stop stressing about our relationship too much or any actions that do not require it. Now, in my mind, I believe this is the truth that I need to remember.

It's good to be reassured sometimes, but considering what he actually feels, and not just what I think he does, he is pointing out that he will always be understanding and does not run out of patience all at once. He will always try to be there when I need an ear, and he will always be there to support me. The point is, what he is saying is this is all in my head. Learning a lesson or two from my best friend, who was also thinking about how she was starting to feel that she did not want to have kids with her boyfriend for almost a year. Now, they are living together through good communication and understanding.

He must be tired of this, honestly, and somehow, it is true. I have to put in the work and also give him the respect that he deserves as well.

As for the other thing, I believe it is because of trying to be always available. It is what a people-pleaser would do and say. If anything, it is what I have always been accustomed to. By the way, the approval of others, being away from social media and trying to vent out my feelings more in a blog where no one sees it is probably the healthiest way to cope with it. Not being able to meet anyone's expectations frustrates me; if I do not, I wish I could turn into a ghost.

Many things are at stake in my work situation, so on good days, I tell my boyfriend that I am close to my goal next year. On bad days, I cry about it and also tell him.

Somehow, I also realize I want to give him a pause so we can have a good day of talking. I do love it when we talk about the simple stuff, and somehow we will disagree with each other, but more importantly, how we can be a team in any situation thrown at us makes me excited about the future with him. Reality checks are essential in relationships, and I believe there will be many more. Still, I hope the future will be kind to both of us. Not just in our relationship but in our work circumstances.

To financial stability and better quality of life for both of us.

As for me, I hope I can work on more of what my mind wants to think and what I actually really think about my thoughts that may sometime be intrusive. I think I really need a therapist at this point. Hoping next year, I will be able to afford to.

#txt

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hyungieyoongi · 3 years

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Found: “Run Away to You” Part 1

Let me go.

He was, without a doubt, your hardest goodbye.

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Former Actress!Reader

Word Count: 1.6K

Genre: Fluff + Angst

Series Masterlist: Run Away to You

Premise: You ran away from your acting career one year ago, disappearing from the spotlight without a trace. No one from your past life knew where to find you. On the anniversary of your disappearance, your carefully constructed reality is shattered.

// Part 2

---

Looking at the calendar on your wall, the date glared back at you, red marker encircling the number as if you could forget it.

One year. It had been one whole year since you ran away from your old life.

Happy anniversary to me, you thought bitterly.

It hadn’t been easy–no, it had been tactful, strategic. Your best friend-turned-publicist, Marianne, had programmed your social media accounts to simultaneously deactivate. The phone you used for “celebrity” contacts and business-related matters was permanently turned off, stashed away in the back of a drawer. You had already moved all your belongings to a new apartment on the other side of the city, address undisclosed to everyone except Marianne and your parents on the other side of the world. Everything had been in place for you to completely disappear.

You were instructed to lay low for at least one entire month, groceries delivered to your door under a fake name with Marianne’s credit card. You had cut your hair, once long and flowing, to your collarbone. It was often hidden under a baseball hat when you went to your favorite café for a coffee or took your elderly neighbor’s dog for walks around the park. You were completely off the radar, just as intended.

That didn’t stop the world from trying to track you down for a while. Fan blogs speculated where you could have gone, and tabloids splashed old pictures of you on their covers with speculative headlines. Your parents even had to install a state-of-the-art security system in your hometown in the States after a magazine found out where you grew up and tried to break into their backyard. But you weren’t naïve enough to go back home; that was the first place people would expect you to go. Instead, you were hidden in plain sight in Seoul, just sans the flashes of the cameras following you. Without the designer clothes or big sunglasses hiding your features, you looked just like anyone else. Undetectable.

You had grown up in America, studying acting and Korean during your time at university with Marianne. Upon graduation, you landed a major role in a K-drama, uprooting your entire life to move to Seoul. For five years, you lived in the spotlight under the industry’s microscope. People said you were living the dream, but it started to feel more like a nightmare. It became overwhelming, suffocating.

When the show wrapped after three seasons, you knew it was time. You decided to run. You just wish you didn’t have to hurt anyone else in the process. Especially him.

You had instructed Marianne to give him a letter explaining why you had to go away, but she never heard back from him.

Let me go, Yoongi. Don’t look for me. This is for the best. I will always care about you. – Y/N

The words were emblazoned in your memory, your eyes tearing up at the thought of him reading the words you wrote to him.

Let me go.

He was, without a doubt, your hardest goodbye.

Your cell phone rang, distracting you from the memories that plagued your thoughts today.

“Good afternoon, dearie!” Marianne chirped on the other end of the phone. “It’s a big day for you. The first half of your manuscript came back from the publisher, so get excited to do some editing!” Hiding away from the world for a year gave you a lot of time to think. For you, that meant time to write. Marianne seamlessly transitioned from being your publicist for your acting career to managing your budding career as an author, even helping you pick out a pseudonym.

“That’s great news,” you mumbled in reply, taking a long sip of your coffee, the bitterness blooming on your tongue.

“Are you alright? You sound, I don’t know, a little off,” Marianne questioned, concern lacing her normally peppy tone.

“It’s been one year, Marianne,” you replied, knowing she’d understand.

“Oh my,” Marianne said after a beat of silence. “It completely slipped my mind. How are you holding up?”

“I’m alright just a little…weird, I guess? I’m so relieved to have my own life again. But I’m also just kind of mourning my old life today.”

“Oh babe, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Do you want me to come over after work–we can order takeout and watch a movie? Take your mind off things?” Marianne offered.

“No, that’s okay. I think I’m just going to spend the day doing some self-care. We’re meeting tomorrow to discuss the manuscript timeline, right?”

“Yes, of course! I’ll be at the café at 11:00 a.m. Are you sure you’ll be okay today?” Marianne asked, clearly not convinced that you were telling the truth about being alright.

“I’ll call you if I need you, I promise,” you reassured her.

“Night or day, Y/N, you know I’m here.”

After you both said your goodbyes and ended the call, you started to feel restless, needing something to take your mind off the date and the competing emotions swirling in your brain. You decided fresh air and comfort food were the solution.

Grabbing your keys off the table by the front door, you slipped on your shoes, heading for the local corner store in your neighborhood, mindlessly forgetting your hat on the hook on the wall.

---

Mask pulled over the lower half of his face to conceal his appearance, Yoongi slipped into a nearby corner store, saving himself from the prying eyes that seemed to be examining him a little too closely from across the street.

He had snuck out of the studio without security, wanting to just take a moment to breathe all to himself. He had driven around Seoul with no destination in mind, eventually stopping in a neighborhood he found with a quiet park for a walk. His thoughts betrayed him as they kept going back to you and the letter he received one year ago, now crumpled in the top righthand drawer of his desk. He didn’t need to pull it out today to remember exactly what it said.

Let me go.

Once he read those words, he had stopped reading, smashing the paper together between his fists in frustration, shoving it in the drawer. It had stayed unopened since last year.

Yoongi aimlessly wandered through the aisles of the store, his mind continuously returning to that drawer. He had worked so hard to stop thinking about it–about you–over the past year. Today was a harsh reminder that you were still on his mind. He had stopped calling a long time ago, knowing that you wouldn’t pick up or return his calls. Sometimes though, if he had a little too much to drink with the boys, he’d call your number just to hear your voice on the voicemail recording. He didn’t tell anyone about those late-night calls.

Rounding the aisle corner, he collided with someone, knocking the snacks they had bundled in their arms to the ground. They immediately knelt down, trying to collect them.

“Shit, I’m sorry. Here, let me help you,” Yoongi offered, starting to lean over.

“Oh, no that’s okay I’ve got it.” Yoongi froze, his body going rigid. That voice. Your voice. He hadn’t heard it in-person in over a year. The sweetness of it rang through his ears, reminiscent of the voicemail he knew by heart.

It was you. After all this time.

---

Standing up with your snacks back safely in your grasp, you looked at the man in front of you who seemed to be barely breathing.

You were about to ask if he was alright, but then you recognized it. The black hat–the one with two rings on the edge that he would often wear when he went out. His mask had slipped below his nose, his pale cheeks slightly squished under the pressure of the fabric. Black hair poked out from underneath the hat, falling onto his forehead and into his dark brown eyes. They were wide with shock.

You felt the color rush from your face, hands beginning to shake because this wasn’t supposed to happen.

You were safe. Safe in your self-made bubble away from the world.

Until he found you. And it burst.

You contemplated turning around, pretending you hadn’t recognized him. Leave him again. But you knew that wasn’t an option now. You had to face the thing you were most scared of–him.

“Yoongi, I-” your voice cracked, barely above a whisper.

“Your hair,” Yoongi remarked, cutting you off, tone flat and quiet. “You cut your hair.” His eyes narrowed at you.

You swallowed the lump that had lodged itself in your throat. “Just...wanted a change, I guess.”

Hide. You wanted to hide.

“You seem to have gone through a lot of changes,” Yoongi said, bitterness seeping into his voice.

You winced at the implication of his words. You took a deep breath to try and collect yourself before replying.

“Can we...can we not do this here?”

“Fine.”

“I live around the corner. Maybe we could just...talk?” you asked, averting your eyes to the ground. When you didn’t hear a reply, you looked back up to Yoongi, who nodded at you once in agreement.

Abandoning your would-be purchases, you walked out the front door of the store, Yoongi silently following behind you. You felt his eyes burning into your back.

Just put one foot in front of the other, you thought to yourself.

As you and Yoongi silently walked to your apartment, neither of you noticed the camera pointed at the two of you, snapping the photo that would change everything.

// Part 2

---

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cherryobx · 3 years

Text

I'm all yours//Rafe Cameron x reader

request: "Hii!! I love your writing! What if Rafe and Y/N have a fling, but he doesn’t make a move or show his motives, so she starts distancing herself from him. Later he finds out that she’s been going out with another guy (totally up to you to decide whether it’s obx character or fictional) and decides to have a conversation with her about what they are (he’s a liiitle too jealous and it makes her mad, but they work it out after a small fight). That’s it!! Hope you like it, have a great day🥰"

summary: Rafe realizes something when he hears that you're seeing someone

warnings: language, mentions of sex (but no smut!), FWB, angst

WC: 1.7k

(not my gif, creds to the owner!)

He was never there when you woke up. It was like a tradition at this point. He always left without you noticing. Of course, some mornings you wished that he’d stay a little longer and just hold you and whisper sweet nothings into your ear. But that was Rafe Cameron we’re talking about. It was nothing more than a friends with benefits situation. Although you wished it was something more. You’d never tell it to Rafe though. He’d just make fun of you for wanting something that was so out of your reach, something almost impossible.

After stretching a bit on your bed, you sat up and tried to rub the tiredness away from your eyes. Your eyes drifted to the alarm clock beside your bed. 7:32. Why had you woken up so early? You blamed it on the coldness of your bed and the sheets. After all it was just you in it.

You stood up, put on an oversized t-shirt and started picking up your clothes that had been scattered all over your bedroom the night before. You tossed them onto the bathroom floor and made a mental note to put them in the washing machine later.

Feeling your stomach grumble with hunger you walked into the kitchen and put two slices of bread into the toaster. You opened the fridge and took out the butter. Lately you had been obsessed with toast with butter. It was heavenly on mornings like these.

As soon as the toast was done, you spread some butter on them. You didn’t care enough to put them on a plate. Or you were just lazy. One of those reasons. As you were eating your toast, you scrolled on your phone, seeing all the pictures and videos from last night’s party. You had decided not to go and just stay home and watch a movie all by yourself. You actually treasured those moments. Rafe came over in the middle of the night and of course he was pretty hammered. You still slept with him though. How could you deny yourself such pleasure?

When you were finished eating, you sat on the living room couch, pulling your knees up to your chest. You felt pathetic, sad even. You were sorry for yourself. You had let Rafe crawl into your life, into your head, and now you couldn’t get him out. He was always on your mind.

“This has to stop,” you mumbled to yourself, as you took out your phone and texted the guy you had turned down a few days ago. He had asked you out but you declined because it felt wrong to go out with a guy that wasn’t Rafe. But now you realized that the smartest thing right now would be trying to forget about Rafe. He didn’t see you as nothing more than a friend, a hook-up.

He replied almost immediately which was a bit weird because it was 8 in the morning but you didn’t give it much thought. You agreed to go on a date with him in the evening.

As you were getting ready to go on the date, you got a text from Rafe, asking if he could come over tonight. You didn’t reply. It’s for the better, you thought.

The guy, Luke, picked you up at 7 p.m sharp and took you to out to eat. It was pretty romantic you were not going to lie.

“You’ve been living in Kildare your entire life? How have I not seen you before?” you asked before taking a bite of your food.

“It may be because I don’t really go to parties.” You raised your eyebrows in surprise.

“You don’t? Then what do you do here? There’s really nothing to do here except parties and golf, if you ask me.”

“Well, mostly I just hang out with my friends, play golf, go fishing. You know, the usual stuff.”

“I’d get bored with that fast,” you laughed.

“Then what do you do here?” he asked.

“Umm, I go to parties, obviously, I’m not lame,” you said, sarcastically rolling your eyes. “But sometimes I surf.”

“You do? Isn’t that like a pogue thing?”

“So, sport is now a pogue thing? Yeah, I don’t label things like that. The whole pogue vs kook things is just pointless in my opinion.”

“If you say so.” He took a sip of his drink.

After dinner, you walked down to the beach and just took a stroll there. It was a beautiful sunset and you even took some pictures with him to remember that night.

“I had a really good time tonight. Thanks for not turning me down like I did you.” He had just brought you home and walked up to your front door.

“No problem. Who am I to say no to such a pretty girl.” The compliment made you blush.

“Also, thank you for paying tonight. I promise I’ll pay next time.”

“There’s going to be a next time?”

“Yes. I mean if you want to.”

“I do.”

“Then it’s settled.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek before entering your home and closing the door behind you. You were actually happy with how this whole thing turned out. You hadn’t thought about Rafe even once this whole evening.

When you stopped answering to Rafe’s texts and calls, he became confused. What was going on? Had he done something to upset you?

After a few weeks in the dark, he heard at one party that you were seeing someone. He felt this kind of tightness in his chest. It was a mix of emotions. Almost like anger but not really. He couldn’t put a finger on it why he felt like this. It was not like you were his girlfriend or anything. Although he liked the sound of that. Y/N, his girlfriend.

He left the party and came over to your place. He banged his fist on the door repeatedly. Je might’ve even woken up your neighbours with all the noise he was making.

“Rafe, what the fuck are you doing here in the middle of the night?” you asked, as you opened the door. You were wearing an old t-shirt and shorts. You looked adorable to him.

“Can we talk?”

“At 2 in the morning? No fucking way.” You started to close the door but he shoved his foot between the door and its frame.

“Y/N, please. I need to speak with you.”

“Then come back at a reasonable hour,” you huffed and rolled your eyes.

“This is a reasonable hour. Just let me in.”

You let out a sight but then opened the door for him. You walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water because your throat was feeling a bit dry. He followed you close behind.

“If you’re here for sex then you might as well just leave right now. I’m not in the mood.”

“Is it so hard to believe that I’m here just to talk to you?”

“You want an honest answer to that?” you asked, raising your eyebrow at him.

“Not really.”

You took a sip from your glass and then placed it on the kitchen counter. “If you’re really here to talk then talk. I want to go back to sleep.”

“I don’t want you going out with that Luke you’ve been seeing.”

“How the fuck is that your business? I can go out with whoever I want. You can’t tell me what to do.”

“Yes, I can. I know what’s best for you.”

You bitterly laughed. “Oh, you do now? Rafe, you don’t know shit.”

“He’s not a good guy for you.”

“And you know that how? He treats me better than you ever have. And that’s a fact. Keep your nose out of my business and go find some other girl to fuck. This,” you waved your finger between you two, “is over. I don’t want to see you anymore. Like ever again. So you might as well delete my number.”

“I’m not going to do that.”

“Why can’t you just leave me the fuck alone?” The frustration within you was too much to handle as tears started to fall from your eyes and roll down your cheeks.

“Because I love you, for fucks sake,” he admitted, yelling.

You were staring at him in shock. You were speechless and didn’t know what to say. Was this like some sort of cruel prank he was playing on you? Or was he serious? Could it be? It was hard to believe. Why would he admit it now, after all this time?

“I didn’t realize it at first. I was so caught up in myself and my problems. But when I heard you were seeing someone, I freaked out. I didn’t like the feeling it gave me. I didn’t like the thought of you with someone else other than me. It didn’t seem right.”

He slowly walked closer to your, now sobbing, frame. He placed one of his hands on your shoulder and the other under you chin. He lifted it so you’d look him in the eye.

“If there’s a slight chance that you’re feeling like I do, please tell me. If not, I’ll leave right now and you’ll never have to even see me again.”

“I do,” you whispered, not being able to actually talk. Your emotions were overwhelming you as you broke down. He wrapped his arms around you and rubbed his hand up and down on your back in a soothing manner.

“It’s okay. Don’t cry. I’m here with you.”

You stood there for what felt like eternity, crying between his arms. When you had calmed down you pulled away a bit so you could look at him.

“You’re such an asshole. You know that, right?”

He nodded. He knew.

“But. I love you too. Always have been. I tried so hard to forget you. That’s why I started going out with Luke. So I could forget you for a couple of hours. And it worked. But as soon as I got home it was like he never existed. I thought about you. Only you.”

“Well, now I’m all yours.”

“That’s good to hear because I’m yours as well.”

***

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scapegrace74-blog · 3 years

Text

New Ways of Turning into Stone, Chapter 5

A/N Sorry for the long break between chapters. As some of you might have seen from my Tumblr blog, I’ve been off on vacation these past two weeks. Plus, when I felt the urge to write, it was my new Vaquero AU that kept calling to me (21,000 words and counting!), rather than this fic. Which is probably a good argument for why I don’t like to post WIPs. In any event, here is the next chapter some of you have been asking for, entitled Third Appointment. Be careful what you wish for. Angst ahead, plus a trigger warning for infertility trauma, miscarriage.

The first four chapters are available on my AO3 page.

The Thursday after her impromptu encounter with Jamie and his niece at the Royal Hospital for Children, Claire woke with a strange twisting pain in her gut. Skipping breakfast, she was halfway to her office before she diagnosed herself with an acute case of nerves, the kind that sprouted between her lungs and ribcage like a vestigial organ whose sole purpose was to unsettle her.

She wasn’t in the habit of meeting patients outside of the clinical confines of her practice, but it was more than that. Jamie had caught her in a moment of weakness, with both her personal and professional armour missing. What he might have seen and how he could have interpreted it had occupied her thoughts ever since.

Eating lunch was out of the question. By the time two o’clock approached, her insides were a buzzing hornets’ nest of anxiety, her palms clammy with sweat. A half-empty bottle of Xanax called to her from the bottom of her purse. Before she could weigh the implications of taking one at work on an empty stomach, Jamie’s familiar knock intervened.

She could tell as soon as he entered that Maggie hadn’t needed a transfusion that week. His russet curls shone like garnets in the midday sun and his uncanny eyes glittered like sapphires. Still, he avoided looking directly her way as he settled into his usual chair, and she wondered if the overlap of their personal and professional lives had left him feeling unnerved as well.

“No wheat grass smoothie,” he commented, his gaze running over her desk.

“No, I didn’t have time for lunch today.” It was a blatant falsehood, since she’d spent her lunch hour picking her cuticles until they bled, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Ye should eat more, Sassen..., Doctor Beauchamp. Ye canna help anyone else if ye’re no’ properly nourished.” She caught the slip, and for some reason it angered her.

“Is this your attempt to negotiate a reduction in your fees, Jamie? Dietary advice in return for counselling? Because if so, I’m afraid I don’t bill on the barter system,” she snapped, despising her churlish tone.

Jamie’s eyes narrowed, then dimmed. Message received, he sat up straighter in the armchair and crossed a foot over his knee, assuming a position of poised and detached calm that had no doubt served him well during business negotiations. She regrouped by pretending to glance at her journal for the notes from their previous session, although the space next to his name was accusingly blank.

Boundaries thus defined, the session went surprising well. Jamie spoke of his relief that Maggie’s latest round of chemotherapy was over, allowing her to return home and to some semblance of a regular life for a child of six. Claire coaxed him gently towards the topic of his overwhelming guilt for abandoning his family when he was most needed. Jamie processed pain through the recounting of stories, coming to terms with his self-decreed transgression by weaving together the tale of those he loved and pointing to the holes his absence had caused.

As his resonant voice spun its web of words, Claire became aware of an underlying hum. At first it was subtle, like the mumble of traffic from a far-off motorway. But as their hour together ticked by, it grew in strength until she could no longer ignore the buzz that pressed against her from all directions.

“... saw that it was really Jenny and Ian who I was... Claire? Doctor Beauchamp, are ye well?” Jamie was watching her with concern, and she realized she’d been shaking her head, trying to dislodge the omnipresent hum.

“Yes, I’m... yes. Sorry. Just a funny noise that’s... Please, continue.” When Jamie didn’t immediately pick up the thread of his narrative, she tried again. “You were saying something about Jenny and Ian?”

Instead of continuing his previous thought, Jamie picked that moment to broach the topic she’d desperately hoped he would avoid.

“I hope ye’re no’ upset about the other day, at the hospital. I didna mean tae impose or tae... o’erstep the bounds of our relationship. No’ that we have a relationship, mind,” he hastened to add. “Only a professional one. But when I saw ye, I couldna resist introducing ye tae wee Maggie. I hadna told ye about her yet, and I thought...”

“Jamie, it’s fine,” she cut in, halting his rambling explanation. “She’s a lovely girl. They all are. It’s only that, I’m sort of...”

“Ye’re verra good with them. Children, that is. Ye’ll make a fine mother one day.”

All the oxygen left the room at once. Her heart beat so hard there was a bruised feeling behind her sternum. Launching to her feet, Claire stumbled blindly away from her desk. She wanted to run, to scream, but her vision was a narrow chasm and a now-deafening throb filled her ears. She only made it a few steps before her knees buckled and the carpet floated upwards to meet her.

“Ifrinn!” Jamie leapt to her side, catching her by the shoulders before her head could hit the floor. He lowered them both carefully to the ground, resting her body against his lap. “Sassenach? Claire? Can ye hear me? Do I need tae call an ambulance?” The words reached her from very far away, but the threat of medical intervention acted like a dose of smelling salts.

“No,” she groaned, the room spinning around her like a kaleidoscope. “No hospital. I just... need to eat,” she grasped at the most innocuous explanation for her current state.

Without dislodging her, Jamie stretched his long arm and brought back the small basket of miniature muffins that were the day’s offering from Geillis. With surprising dexterity, he peeled away the paper one-handed and broke apart a bite-sized morsel, holding it gently against her lips. Realizing that her dignity couldn’t get any more battered, Claire opened her mouth and allowed Jamie to feed her. After only a few bites, the buzzing disappeared and she was able to sit up on her own.

“Thank you,” she murmured, afraid to look into his eyes for fear of the pity she knew she’d see there. “You were right. I should have eaten lunch, I guess.”

“Claire.” Jamie made a prose poem of the single syllable of her name. She looked up at him through her lashes, stunned to find him looking back, not with pity, but with something akin to adoration. “Mo nighean donn,” he ran a tender hand through her loosened curls. “Ye need tae care more for yerself.”

“I will. I’ll try.” And when she said it to him, she really meant it. Jamie made the impossible seem probable.

They stared at one another, shoulder to shoulder on the floor of her office. She couldn’t think of anything else to say, but nor did she move. Her gaze flitted over his face, noticing a vestige of boyish freckles across the bridge of his nose, a mole hidden in the harvest stubble on his cheek. Jamie was performing a parallel inventory, eyes finally coming to rest at the level of her mouth.

“Ye’ve got a wee crumb, jus’ there.” Unconscious, her tongue swept out, triggering a predatory response, twin blue laser beams narrowing on the target she had just painted on her lower lip.

“I... I’d verra much like tae kiss ye, Claire. May I?”

An amputated moan was all she could manage in response, but Jamie must have understood its meaning. He bent his head until only a whisper separated them. The air crackled, sending that extra organ plummeting towards her hollow womb. Clenching her eyes shut in defeat, she closed the infinitesimal gap until they met in an effervescent caress of lip and tongue.

Cold washed over her skin, bathing her in gooseflesh. Jamie tasted like he looked; a banquet of fresh, volatile flavours that called to mind a picnic in a meadow, a spray of sea foam, the warmth of hearth and home. She could feel him trembling against her, his moist breath rushing against her cheek in shallow pants. For a score of heartbeats, Claire was the happiest she had ever been. Then, reality crashed down around her.

“I’m sorry,” she stammered, pulling away. “I... this can’t... I’m sorry.”

Jamie leaned back with a mixture of longing and resignation. She hated adding herself to his list of regrets, but it was for the best.

“I’m your doctor, Jamie. This isn’t right.”

“Aye, I ken. I should apologize, but I canna seem tae find it in me tae repent.”

Jamie stood, reaching down to help Claire up as well. As soon as it was apparent she was able to stand on her own, he dropped her hand as though it burned. The line between his brows deepened, and she could see the question forming before he gave it voice.

“What if ye werena my doctor? Would it be right then?”

“That’s neither here nor there, because I am, Jamie. A relationship between patient and doctor of a romantic nature is ethically off-limits.”

Jamie nodded, apparently accepting her explanation at face value. Her heartbeat calmed. He moved slowly, gathering his coat and starting to leave.

“But what if ye weren’t?” he said, facing the door. “If we’d met at the hospital, or out on the town?”

“I...” she stammered, searching desperately for any answer except for the truth. “No, Jamie,” she said at last, watching as she destroyed his last bastion of hope. “I’m sorry. I just don’t feel that way about you.”

Nodding abruptly, Jamie let himself out of the office. She listened to his low murmuring voice through the door as he spoke to Geillis, heard him make an appointment for the following week, then the loud snap of the main door closing. Only then did she allow herself to collapse once more to the floor, angry sobs overtaking her.

***

“Are ye out of yer fuckin’ mind?” Geillis inquired with her usual brutal eloquence.

With the help of a Xanax, Claire had managed to see her last two patients of the day, and only needed to navigate the shoals of her office manager’s ire before she could go home and fully medicate herself into a dreamless sleep.

“Jes so we’re clear, ye want me tae write a letter terminating your services as a doctor an’ suggesting suitable alternative providers? An’ ye want me tae send this letter, over email, tae Jamie Fraser?”

“That’s right.” She had determined that icy calm was the best antidote to this conversation, which was fortuitous, since she felt numb all over.

“An’ what reason am I tae give fer this abrupt conclusion tae yer association wi’ Mr. Fraser?”

“I don’t owe him an explanation. Only sufficient notice and an opportunity to seek counselling elsewhere,” she said, feigning reasonableness.

Pushed past her limits, Geillis rose from behind her desk, a tiny tempest of moral indignation.

“Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp, ye are a good friend, a fine doctor an’ a fair employer. But I swear by the Almighty that if ye dinna drop the façade and tell me wha’ is going on I am going tae smack ye until yer ears ring!”

There was a certain relief in knowing that Geillis wouldn’t take no for an answer. And unlike Jamie, she knew where Claire lived and would not let her rest until the truth came out.

“He kissed me. Or rather, I kissed him. And I liked it! That’s why, Geillis.”

Her friend’s shoulders sagged, all righteousness gone in an instant. She reached around Claire’s frame and held her in a bone-crushing one-sided hug.

“Och, hen. An’ ye figured ye could deal wi’ those pesky feelings by jes, what? firing him as yer patient?”

“I can’t deal with this right now, Geillis. I can’t feel the way he makes me feel. And this practice is all that I have left. There’s no way I can risk losing it just for an affair that won’t even last the summer.”

She didn’t need to elaborate on her reasons for that dire prediction. Geillis knew them as well as anyone.

“He’s an intelligent man, Claire. He’s gonna ken something is up. Moreover, he’s a good man. He deserves tae hear the truth.”

Shaking her head sadly, Claire walked towards the door. Just before exiting, she called back softly to her friend.

“Geillis? Make sure to include Dr. Rafferty’s name on the list of referrals. I think they’d be a good match.

***

Monday morning dawned with little promise for the fledgling week. Moving robotically through her weekend routine, Claire thought frequently of chickens. How their bodies kept moving once their heads were lopped off, nerves and muscle and bone continuing to function for a time despite the fatal blow.

The elevator chimed its arrival on her floor. As the doors slide open, Jamie was the first thing she saw. He loomed by her still-locked office, a sun-topped thundercloud gripping a sheet of printer paper.

She’d worn her best black suit and a pair of chunky heels that brought her closer to his height. Perhaps, on some subconscious level, she’d anticipated this confrontation. Perversely, she relished it. Vitriol and deceit didn’t suit her, but it was preferable to feeling absolutely nothing.

“Do ye mind tellin’ me,” Jamie began before she’d even set foot in the hallway, “jus’ what this is about, Claire?” He brandished the paper like a wanted poster.

“I would think it was self-explanatory, actually. I’m terminating our professional relationship,” she huffed, golden eyes coming to life for the first time since Thursday.

“Via email. Sent tae me by Miss Duncan, because ye dinna have the guts tae do it yerself. Christ, Sassenach, even my ninth grade sweetheart didna dump me so cruelly!”

“I’m not your sweetheart!” she burst out, a flood of emotion cresting with her rising anger. “Don’t call me that! I was your doctor, Jamie, and now I’m nothing to you. Nothing. Just go. Please. Just go,” she finished weakly and without any hope that he’d listen.

“All this jus’ because I kissed you?” Jamie persevered. At her stubborn silence, he continued, “Nah, I dinna think so. Ye’re many things, Claire, but a coward isna one of them.”

She found this hysterically funny, since a coward was the only role she played to perfection. She didn’t have time to laugh, however, because Jamie was suddenly standing much closer, forcing her to lift her chin to meet his stormy eyes.

“Nah,” he continued smoothly, a big cat alerted to the smell of its prey. “If ye’d objected tae the kiss, ye would have told me so. Read me the riot act or kneed me in the bawls. I think ye’re scared, Doctor Beauchamp. I think that kiss terrified ye, because ye realized ye liked it. Somethin’ ye couldna plan for in yer wee journal, right there under yer nose. Bet it made yer heart beat so fast. So fast, jus’ like it is now.”

Jamie’s hand rested gently over the placket of her suit jacket, where he could surely feel the trip hammering of her pulse.

“Please,” she begged. “Don’t. I can’t...”

“Can’t what, Sassenach?” he whispered back, goading her.

The truth hung on her lips, and the toll of the past few days meant that she no longer had the strength to stop it from spilling forth.

“Can’t have children. Ever. I tried, for years. Fourteen miscarriages, fourteen lost chances. And seeing you with those children last week. I know it’s presumptive, but I could never deny you that chance, Jamie. That’s why I can’t see you anymore.”

She was looking down, watching the buttons of his shirt rise and fall with his agitated breath, but as she finished speaking, their movement ceased. Chancing a glance upward, she was stunned by the fury that had overtaken his expression.

Jamie opened and closed his mouth several times before he managed to speak in a gritty growl.

“Mutation of the RUNX1 gene tha’ causes leukemia. I was tested, along wi’ Jenny an’ Ian, after Maggie was diagnosed. I have a fifty percent chance of passing it along tae my children. An’ since I canna stand the thought of ano’er bairn havin’ tae suffer as Maggie has, as soon as I got the test results, I went out an’ had a vasectomy.”

Claire recoiled as though she’d been slapped, a high pitched whine in her ears.

“Ye’re no’ the only one who’s hurting, Claire!” Jamie continued, voice dashing against the rocks of her name. “We’re no’ meant tae suffer alone. Ye, of all people, should ken that.”

Stunned in the silence following the thunderclap of his revelation, she couldn’t find the words to express her sorrow, her outrage, and her crippling shame. By the time the power of speech returned, Jamie was gone.

#my writing #outlander

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shreddedparchment · 4 years

Text

A Wife for Thor Pt.04

10/23/2020

Strong Arms and Honest Kisses

Pairing: King!Thor x Reader Word Count: 3,636

Warnings: failed relationships, talks of lonliness, angst, FLUFF, complicated relationships

A/N: This one is a little shorter than my chapters recently. Part of this is because this felt like a complete chapter but I also did a lot of rewriting with this one. I wrote half of it, then deleted it. Then wrote it again. Then deleted it. I finally got a good flow going and this is the one I liked the most. I hope y’all like it too. If you happen to reblog, thanks so much for helping me spread my work! xoxo

Please do not REPOST my stories on any other sites or blogs.

REBLOGS are always welcome and appreciated!

The walk back to your room is awkward.

Full of fluttering hesitant energy.

There’s a new electricity between your body and Thor’s as he walks beside you, heavy feet falling slowly, with forethought.

He has his hands behind his back, feeling the need to keep them to himself after what happened in the garden.

You appreciate the space.

“That was my first kiss.” You admit, hating the silence between you because it feels like both of you want to say so much but are unwilling to speak first.

“Oh,” Thor laments, his gaze wavering. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be!” You rush to reassure him, shrugging a shoulder as you look straight once more. “I-I mean, you wanted a maiden, right? A virgin?”

When you look at him, he’s blushing, his cheeks a soft pink underneath that hay colored beard.

It’s cute and you feel a surge of warmth for him fill your chest.

“That wasn’t necessarily what I wanted.” He clarifies.

“Oh…” Your turn to lament. “I’m sorry.”

Suddenly, a flurry of worries come rushing forward. You don’t have any experience. None. Zero. Tonight has been the most action you’ve ever seen in your life.

No one has ever held your hand.

No one has ever been so caring and sweet.

No one has definitely ever kissed you.

No one has ever proposed.

You have no experience to offer Thor, as a wife, will you be able to satisfy him?

He’s a literal God. He’s really, super old, and has probably slept with lots of women…or…beings? Aliens?

How are you going to live up to that?

“I just…I’ve never even really liked anyone, so I never was with anyone, and I’m sorry-” You fret, stopping to look up at him.

He places his hands over yours, stopping your fidgeting.

“You have nothing to apologize for.” He whispers gently.

You meet his blue eye and it’s just as soft as his voice.

“We can talk about that part of our marriage later. Let’s take this one day at a time.”

“But I-I don’t know what to do with that. I mean, I kinda know but I don’t know. I don’t want to-I’m kinda scared of-”

Thor’s blush returns and your own neck is suddenly burning.

That previously terrifying image of Thor prying your legs open that you’d imagined back at home replays itself in your mind, this time the fear is not for the man himself but the act in general.

Thor’s hands finding the side of your neck interrupt your vocal vomit.

With you silenced, he traces the lines of your shoulders, the length of your arms before he takes hold of your elbows over your cloak which is keeping them warm.

“We have time, cherub.” The pet name comes out of nowhere and sounds so strange but good and you’re not sure you know how to breathe anymore. “Time to worry about many things later. Tonight, let’s just enjoy this agreement to try.”

With a lick to your lips, you nod, shutting your eyes as you’re overwhelmed by not only the pleasure that stupid pet name has given you but also his hands still wrapped around your elbows.

“Thank you for telling me.” Thor whispers, pulling you a little closer. “These are things that are good to know. I will be sure to make preparations for us.”

“Preparations?” You nearly squeak.

“Things to make it easier for you. But as I said,” his ears grow nice and red too, now. “We have plenty of time to think about that later. Almost three days!”

You scoff, “That’s not a lot of time, Thor.”

“No,” he chuckles. “I suppose you’re right.”

“This is happening so fast.”

“I know. And I’m sorry. That’s my fault. I’ve been putting this choice off for so long that now that I’ve made it, they want me to follow through quickly.” Thor takes a step back, reaching down to take your hand.

You eagerly hold his hand back, grateful for the comfort it gives you but also you really like holding his hand, you realize.

“Let’s get you to bed. Even though Hilde was completely drunk, she’ll still wake up early enough to make you hate her.” He pulls you along, his hand giving yours a gentle squeeze every few steps.

“Thor?”

“Hm?” He asks, not sparing you a glance.

“You don’t have to do this, you know?” Your own eyes are glued to his hand around yours.

You seriously like the way his hand looks around yours. Why are you letting yourself fall this hard? It’s not right. It’s not fair. To you. To him.

“Do what?” He asks, genuinely confused.

“This.” You give your hand a shake, the two of you rounding the corner to the hall where your room is.

He doesn’t stop walking until he reaches the door. He twists the knob and pulls it open, stepping in with you before turning to close it.

Swallowing hard, you try not to lose your breath again. There’s a pressure in your chest that you know is coming from the way he shut that door.

He turns, strutting towards you as he keeps hold of your hand. You take several steps back until your legs hit the edge of your bed forcing you to sit.

For a moment you think he might move over you, just like that image in your head. Instead he sits down beside you.

“Can I be honest with you about something?” He asks, pulling your hand over onto his lap.

“I hope so.” You relax, waiting patiently as he takes a deep breath.

“I haven’t seen Jane in almost three months.” He explains. “She’s been secluded in an installation in the middle of nowhere. In Wyoming? And I’ve been so busy here…this is the same struggle we always have. I cannot get away because of my own duties now much more formal and inescapable as King. And Jane’s work has always been the most important thing to her.

“I knew that when we agreed to try again but I was hoping that we might both take some time to prioritize our relationship. Jane was the first person I met when I was sent here. She was kind and patient. She was brilliant. Smartest person I’ve ever met. Smarter than Stark and Banner, don’t tell them I told you that.” He smiles. “But it’s that very brain that keeps her focus elsewhere. And I don’t begrudge her that passion. It’s one of the reasons I fell for her.

“But we don’t seem to be able to make it work.”

Hearing him praise her so much, love her so openly dries your throat and you can’t swallow to push past the lump there to speak. So, you say nothing.

“This,” Thor pulls your hand up a little, readjusting and holding it more securely. “This feels good.”

That helps.

“But you wish it was her?” You wonder.

Thor goes silent, averting his eyes to his hand around yours.

“Not anymore.” He sighs. “Until tonight, I would have said yes. I would have given anything for you to be Jane. To marry the woman I love? How could I not want that? It’s what I’ve always hoped for.”

You feel disappointment pull your body down, shoulders slumped, head falling so that you don’t have to look at him anymore.

You feel strong fingers take hold of your chin, gently tilting your head back until you can meet his electric blue eye.

“When I met you, I was surprised. I’d met with woman, after woman, after woman, after woman-”

“Alright, I get it.” You frown.

Thor stops to laugh but then nods, “Sorry. I only mean that every woman I met, all the other princesses and duchesses and ladies once related to direct royal families were kind but there was something calculating about the way they spoke. They were careful with the things they said and I didn’t feel like I was really getting to know them.”

“But with me?”

“With you, I-it was like recognizing someone that I’d known my whole life. You sat there, terrified but unable to keep from speaking your mind. You were honest about not wanting to marry for anything but love and I understood how you felt. I’d made up my mind not to choose you then. I didn’t want to take from you what was being taken from me, but I-the more I thought about marrying one of those women…I told myself I would let you find someone you could be with, even as my wife.

“We’d keep it secret. You could be with them and I would give you your privacy and let you live that life while protecting it for you.” He sighs. “Then you came here, and dinner brought me hope. I didn’t think that you could ever want to feel any other way for me than that disappointment I saw cross your face when I asked you to marry me and live your life with me without feeling loved.”

“Neither did I.” You confess, words coming out in a rush. “I hated you when I came here. I hated my family for being related to royalty. I hated that I was suddenly being asked to think about shit that I honestly, didn’t even care about! And then I met you and you were nice and confused and you asked me that stupid fucking question about my ideal marriage and I had no one else to picture so I pictured you and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.��

Thor smiles, “If I’m honest, that’s also what drew me to you. To be fair though, I didn’t ask any of the other women that question, but it was clear without them having to say so that they were after the prestige that comes with being a human Queen of Asgard.”

“But I know that you still love her.” You continue, ignoring the sweet smile he’s giving you because your mind will not stop fretting. “I know that you’d much rather have it be Jane so, I’m only saying that you don’t have to force yourself to hold my hand or show me affection when you don’t feel it.”

Thor sighs heavily, a huff as he takes hold of your head with both massive hands and pulls you towards him to meet his lips.

This time your surprise only lasts a second before you squeeze your eyes shut and pucker your lips back against his.

You can feel his body shake and you tear your eyes open, searching for what’s making him laugh but find him watching you.

He pulls back, thumbs caressing your cheeks.

“Relax. There’s no need to be nervous.” He whispers, deep. It settles in your chest cavity and you really like the sound of his voice.

“I’ve never kissed before.” You remind him. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Kissing is easy.” Thor tells you. “Just pucker your lips,”

You do as he asks, self-conscious but eager to feel that kiss again.

“Then let me do the rest.” He pulls you back to him and your eyes shut as his lips meet yours.

It’s only a peck. A held one. Until Thor’s hands guide your head to the right as he tilts his to the left and suddenly his lips are overlapping your own. They’re hot, wet, and his breath tickles.

You jump as the tip of his tongue rolls along the seam of your mouth and without making the choice to do it, you open for him and he delves in slowly. Your body is suddenly humming, your mind overcome, and it all feels like a dream.

He inhales as he kisses you, tongue swirling around your own and you don’t know what to do so you reach out to grip the edge of his armor around his chest, hands fisted around the leather while he leads you in this dizzy dance.

He tilts your head the other way, breaking the kiss to take a breath giving you a second to gasp, but then he’s back on you, smothering your whimper of surprise with his lips.

As he presses against yours again, he dives in with more excitement, mouth open, tongue tasting.

You’re trembling, legs shaking with nerves as your hands hold on harder.

As he pulls away, lips smacking quietly, he caresses your cheeks again, letting you come down from your high.

He waits patiently until your eyes open, searching wildly to see what you might find in his.

All you find is his own searching, his own curiosity.

“Um…” You mumble, voice barely audible.

“If you let me in,” He says, his breath washing over your lips again making the past few minutes replay in vivid color. “I will open for you. I think we can do this right. I want to do this right. Will you do this with me?”

Your hands are shaking around his arm, still reeling from that kiss. Holy shit.

“I already said yes.” You point out.

“Say it again.” Thor pleads, scooting closer.

You’re almost completely pulled against his chest, hands squished between your bodies.

“This is happening so fast.” You gasp, confused but happy.

“It has to.” He nods. “I want it to.”

“But how do I know it’s real?” You wonder, and to answer you, Thor crushes you against his chest, head dipping until he meets your lips again.

“It’s real.” He says, tilting your head again, coaxing your mouth open.

You respond more eagerly this time, letting your tongue swirl around his to meet it in its frenzy. Your heart pounds with excitement. This is new and you can understand why people like it. You’ve wondered in passing what it would feel like when you saw it happen in films and shows, taking the books you’d read as gospel for what it feels like but they pale in comparison to the reality.

It’s a haze of pleasure. Foggy but the emotions sharp. It’s also possessive. It feels like yours now. This with Thor can never belong to anyone else. The very thought of it being felt by someone else breaks your heart and also boils your blood.

It makes you bolder, pulling him closer where you have hold of him.

“Let me in.” Thor whispers against your lips, giving you one small final peck. “It’s real for me, I swear to you.”

Can you trust him?

Everything he’s said so far makes sense. His disillusionment with his relationship with Jane is not fake. You were able to hear the sadness in his voice, the acceptance when he explained what was happening with her.

“If you can try to love me, I will try to love you.” He whispers, reaching down with his thumb to trace the shape of your lower lip.

You shut your eyes, seduced by his touch.

“You’re not playing fair,” You sigh. “This is coercion.”

Opening your eyes, you find Thor smiling, and you wonder if this is what he looks like when he likes someone. Is this him smitten?

You don’t think so.

You can’t wrap your mind around him being anything but tolerant of you. He’d been so vocal about loving Jane that you can’t see how only meeting with you twice might override that, even if they are currently struggling.

“I already told you yes! Brunnhilde was right about you.”

“And I want to hear you say it again. For good measure.” He traces the line of your jaw, cup your chin from beneath once he reaches it. “Look me in the eyes and tell me that you’ll try with me. We’ll do everything in our power and devote ourselves to each other. You’ll love me and I will love you.”

His words give your stomach flutters and the way he’s holding your chin makes it so that you can’t look away to clear your head.

So, you nod. “I will love you, Thor. We’ll make this work. As long as you never touch me unless you really want to. I don’t want you to force it. I want it to be real.”

Desperately, you want it. Now more than ever.

“Deal.” Thor says, then wraps one arm around your shoulders and meets your lips again.

~~~~~~~~~~

You wake with a gasp, reaching around for something though you don’t know what. No one had slept with you.

The bed is rightfully empty. As you sit up, you remember every little detail of last night. The words that were spoken, the declarations made, the kisses.

Oh, fuck, the kisses!

You lay back down, heart pounding while you urge yourself to think of every single shift of Thor’s lips against your own.

They’d been so hot, and wet once he’d French kissed you. His tongue had been thick and smooth in its movements. Skilled though you don’t know what you’d compare it to in order to know that for sure.

His arms had been huge and strangely safe. Wrapped up around you, he’d been a powerhouse of heat and strength, lulling you into a calm you’ve never felt before.

Reaching up to scratch your forehead, a small shine catches your eye, and you find your engagement ring, dazzling you with its beauty and the memory of Thor on one knee.

For a moment you’re almost sure that you’ll wake up and all of this will be a dream. A good dream that you had no idea you could ever have wanted.

Then a knock on your door makes you jump, and you sit up again.

Through the door marches Brunnhilde with the swagger of a soldier heading into battle, her clothes relaxed however, plain jeans, a red sweater, and heavy work boots.

“Good!” She smiles at you, “You’re awake! Estrid, bring in Her Highness’s breakfast and set aside one of the other dresses His Majesty bought for her.”

“I’m wearing another uncomfortable dress?” Your sorrow is clear and Brunnhilde smiles at you, her eyes flitting towards your ring. “So, that’s what they were up to.”

You follow her gaze and take a long look at your ring, “Who?”

“Loki and Thor.” Estrid moves past Brunnhilde, heading towards the desk at the far side of the room and places it there before she hurries to the armoire to sift through the dresses. “They’d disappeared a few days ago, went shopping or so they said. I didn’t believe them but clearly, they told me the truth. Just didn’t think they were shopping for a ring. It’s pretty.”

“It’s a lotus flower.” You tell her, throwing your blankets back and sliding to the edge of the bed. “He said he didn’t know that I liked flowers but was happy that I did since I’d like the ring more.”

“He said that?” She wonders, grabbing your robe from the vanity seat then offering it to you.

Taking it, you slip it on and tie it loosely around your waist. The smell of the food pulls you to the desk and you sit, immediately picking apart the eggs and toast.

“Mm.” You nod. “He did. He also said that he really wants to try. He’s willing to really give us a shot.”

Brunnhilde sits on the end of your bed, watching you eat with the space between her eyes puckered.

“Then he’s chosen to give her up finally.” Brunnhilde realizes, surprise painting her tone.

You look at her, intrigued by her own surprise.

“Is that weird?”

“No. Not weird, just unlikely. I never thought he’d really give up on Jane. They were so in love in the beginning when we first arrived. They were always together. Slowly they saw each other less and less, but his devotion never wavered.” She explains.

This doesn’t make you feel good. In fact, hearing about how deep their love was—is—unsettles you.

Fork still in your mouth, you watch her, mind racing.

“Eat up, Your Highness.” Brunnhilde says, rising. “Get dressed and meet me in the main hall. We have to go into town for your wedding dress fitting.”

As she moves for the door and Estrid crosses the room to your bed to lay out a stunning navy dress that looks way too formal for a dress fitting, you turn in your seat, hands grasping the back as you twist to follow her.

“Is Thor awake?”

“Yes.” Brunnhilde nods. “He left about half an hour ago for Wyoming to go see Jane, I assume to break things off with her.”

“Oh,” You shrink, fears you didn’t know you could have choking you.

What if he sees her and realizes he loves her too much to let her go? What if she changes her mind and decides that watching him marry someone else is unbearable? She decides to marry him and then he comes back to tell you that she’s agreed to be Queen and he no longer needs you?

Last night had only cemented your growing feelings for Thor and there is no way you can ever go back to before those kisses.

“He’ll be back tonight.” Brunnhilde assures you, but it only drives you crazier.

Why does he need until tonight?

Why so long? How many kisses will he give her? How many hugs will she take?

You shouldn’t begrudge him this goodbye. You should accept that with it will come with tears and affection that you already see as yours. You don’t want her to have it but it’s not yours yet. It’s intended for you, but right now Thor’s love is still hers.

This God of Thunder has absolutely wrecked you and it’s clear to you that you can never go back to your little home without him. You can never live a life where his arms are not around you.

You’re absolutely fucked.

#king!thor x reader #thor x reader #arranged marriage au #royal au #marvel fanfiction #thor x reader fic #thor x reader fanfic #thor x reader fanfiction #king!thor x reader fic #king!thor x reader fanfic #king!thor x reader fanfiction #thor odinson x reader #thor x you #king!thor x you #thor odinson x you #marvel au #a wife for thor #a wife for thor pt04

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blu-joons · 3 years

Text

You Have Heart Surgery ~ BTS Reaction

Jin:

You were understandably quiet as Jin drove you to the hospital, glancing across at you every few minutes, feeling his heart break as you stared helplessly out of the window.

He sighed softly, “it’ll be alright,” he whispered, reaching across to rest one hand against your thigh, “I know it’s scary, but you’re going to be in safe hands throughout it all.”

“It’s such a huge operation,” you frowned, turning your eyes to look across at him. “I know it’s going to help, but the thought of having it is beginning to feel very real.”

“I know what you mean,” he smiled, “this morning I woke up and I panicked a little, but then I remembered it’ll be alright.”

Your head slowly nodded, biting down on your bottom lip. “I’ll just be relieved when it’s all done, and I don’t have to worry anymore.”

“So, will I,” Jin agreed, “and when it’s all done, you’ll have me to look after you and you can get me to do whatever you want me too.”

“That definitely is one of the bonuses of having this.”

“I’ll take the best care of you, I promise,” he smiled, “you’ll have nothing to worry about with me keeping an eye on you.”

“You’ll hate me by the time this is over.”

Yoongi:

His heart dropped when he got the call to say you’d been in an accident, racing down to the hospital, you had already gone into surgery before he got the chance to see you.

A nice came up to his side, “she’s alright,” she whispered, encouraging him to take a seat, “I’m guessing you’re her boyfriend, I can tell you what’s happened if you want to know.”

“Please,” he whimpered, staring down at the ground as he began to fear the worst. “I don’t understand how this has happened, it’s all a lot to take in.”

“It is,” she sympathised, “but I can tell you that Y/N’s gone into surgery for heart surgery, she was taken down as an emergency case.”

Yoongi’s head nodded, struggling to really take in what was being said. “So, is she going to be alright? Or is this something more serious to worry about?”

“She’ll be fine,” the nurse assured him, “I know it’s a little overwhelming right now, but we’ll take you to see her as soon as she’s out of surgery.”

“Do you have any idea how long that could be?”

“Right now, it’s hard to say,” she informed him, “but I promise as soon as I hear anything, I’ll be straight down here to let you know.”

“Thank you, please take care of her.”

Hoseok:

He raced forwards as your eyes slowly opened, staring around the room, smiling when your eyes fell on Hobi sat beside you, reaching out to take a hold of your hand.

His thumb brushed over your hand, “everything went well,” he quickly assured you, watching as you let go of a sigh of relief. “How do you feel? Or is that a stupid question?”

“I don’t really know how to feel,” you giggled, “I still feel a little bit dizzy, and I’m not really sure exactly what just happened, at least I know everything went well.”

“The doctor said it would take a little while for everything to settle,” Hobi informed you, studying your face closely. “You’ve just got to rest.”

Your head carefully nodded as best as it could. “I definitely feel like I could rest forever with how I’m feeling right now, it feels like a brick got dropped on me.”

“I’m not surprised,” he laughed, “you just need to focus on looking after yourself now though, I’m going to be the best nurse you’ve ever had.”

“You’ll be the only nurse that I’ve ever had.”

“At least that automatically makes me the best nurse,” he chuckled, squeezing your hand, “I’ve got no competition to compare to.”

“You were always going to be my favourite anyway.”

Namjoon:

Your eyes looked across at Namjoon who sat beside you on his laptop, as you studied his screen, you noticed yet again he was reading up about your surgery.

He felt your eyes watching him closely, “I want to be prepared,” he informed you before you could speak, “I want to know exactly what’s going to happen to you.”

“It’s open-heart surgery Joon,” you said, as if he didn’t already know, “there’s only so much research you can do before you end up going insane with worries.”

“You can never do too much research,” he smiled, “it’s going to be up to me to look after you when all of this is done, and I want to do it right.”

You smiled appreciatively up at him, “I know that you’ll take the best care of me, without reading up on all of these blogs and websites.”

“It probably looks stupid,” he groaned, closing his laptop lid down, “it just worries me that it could be on my shoulders that something goes wrong.”

“It’s not stupid, it makes me happy that you care so much.”

“I just want to make your life as easy as possible,” he smiled, “this is a huge thing that you’re about to go through.”

“I know, but everything will be alright.”

Jimin:

Your eyes lit up as Jimin walked into your room on the ward, holding tightly onto a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates that he’d bought from your favourite store.

He placed them down beside you, “treats for the patient,” he smiled, before taking a seat beside you. “How are you feeling today? Have they said anymore about getting discharged?”

“I’ve still got to stick around for a couple more days,” you informed him, “but they said the initial recovery seems to be going well, so that’s a good thing.”

“Sorry I wasn’t able to come and visit yesterday,” he smiled, taking a hold of your hand. “Everything was just so busy with work, and then visiting hours were over.”

Your head shook, “I can’t expect you to be here every second of every day, you’ll be sick of me when I have to start recovering at home.”

“I quite like the thought of looking after you,” he grinned, ripping the box of chocolates with his free hand, “it’s what I’m supposed to do anyway.”

“It’s alright for you now, you can get breaks and go home.”

“I wish that I could be here right now for you always,” he assured you, placing a chocolate into your mouth, “the thought of leaving you terrifies me.”

“I’m well looked after here; you don’t need to worry.”

Taehyung:

He hadn’t been able to take a break since he arrived at the hospital a couple of hours ago after receiving a phone call to say you’d been brought in for emergency surgery.

He’d paced your room again and again until finally yours eyes opened, blinking several times. “You’re in hospital,” Taehyung spoke, finally taking a seat at your beside. “You’re alright.”

“Why?” Was all you could say, failing to recall how you ended up where you were. Your smile dropped as you looked around at everything that was in your room.

“You were in an accident,” Taehyung informed you, spotting the confusion in your expression. “You’ve had heart surgery Y/N, it’s a pretty big deal.”

Even though you nodded, none of the information really sunk into you. “I want to go home,” you whispered, staring blankly across at Taehyung.”

“You’re going to have to wait a few days,” he sighed, resting himself beside you, “it’ll make sense soon once you’re a bit more with it.”

“I just remember going to work, how did I even get here?”

“I’m not entirely sure myself yet,” he sighed, “hopefully when the nurse comes, we can get a few more answers and find out.”

“I can’t believe I have to stay here now.”

Jungkook:

His leg continued to bounce as you waited in the hospital, placing your hand over it to try and encourage him to stop, Jungkook could only sigh back at you.

His eyes stared across at you, murmuring a quick apology. “It just scares me that this is happening today, there’s so much to worry about and stress over.”

“You’re more nervous than me,” you laughed, “and you’re not even the one having the surgery. I’m sure that nothing will go wrong today, you’ve just got to be confident.”

“It’s easy for you to say, you’ll be put to sleep, I’ll be awake and worrying about you,” he vented, “I’ll have to sit for hours and stress.”

Your smile grew, resting your head down to lay against his shoulder. “We can swap positions if you’d prefer to have heart surgery.”

“You joke,” he laughed, “but I would swap positions in a heartbeat, I’d much rather it was me in your position today then you.”

“At least at the end of the day I’ll be better.”

“I know you will,” he sighed, “I just can’t wait to get to the end of the day and for all of this to finally be put in the past.”

“Me too, but it won’t be long now.”

---

Masterlist

249 notes · View notes

tlcwrites · 3 years

Text

Two Hearts Make a Whole

Prompt: “Kiss me again, like you mean it.” Photo prompt below.

Summary: NYC Pride is for celebration, and occasionally, long-overdue revelations.

Word Count: 2,001

Tags/Content warnings: Marvel. Stucky. If you have a problem with it, there's the door. SFW. Slight TFATWS spoilers so read at your own risk. Platonic Reader. Two idiots in love. Technically canon-divergent because I'm still in my everyone-is-alive-and-in-this-timeline happy place that I will never ever leave fuck you very much Russo brothers but not AU. Found family. All the feels. Complete and total LGBTQ+ support. Lots of bad language words because #me. Un-beta'd.

Author’s Note: Okay so yes this is technically 4 weeks late for @autumnleaves1991-blog's Writer Wednesday weekly challenge. BUT, it was incredibly important to me to finish this one before Pride month is over. Made it by the skin of my teeth.

Happy Pride, y’all. If you’re out, you’re amazing. If you’re closeted, you’re amazing. However you identify is valid and important. Trans folx are LGBTQ+. Bisexuals are LGBTQ+. Ace folx are LGBTQ+. Anyone who identifies or thinks they may be as queer is LGBTQ+. All are welcome in the family. You have the right to choose your pronouns and we have the responsibility to use them. Live whatever your truth looks like to you and love each other. Love is love is love is love. If your family doesn’t accept you for you, I’m your mom now and I’ve got mom hugs available on demand. Homophobes and TERFS can fuck off and roll in poison ivy. Always punch Nazis. Pride shouldn't be limited to the month of June. And don’t you dare forget that Black and Brown trans women were the ones who rioted at Stonewall, and we owe everything to their bravery. Don’t forget that much of popular ‘gay’ culture was appropriated from Black women. And for more facts about Pride that you should absolutely know, Rawiyah Tariq (@ mammyisdead on Instagram) has a phenomenally good overview.

“Oh my god.” You gasp loudly. "Oh my GOD. Is that-"

“What?!” Instantly in First Avenger Protective Mode™️, Steve surveys the crowd, wishing he had an actual shield instead of the screen printed one on his shirt. “What is it?”

You gasp again, smacking Sam’s arm repeatedly. “OHMYGOD IT IS HOLY FUCK.”

“First; ow.” Now-Cap rubs his bicep. “Second; clue in the class before Steve has an aneurysm, please.”

Vibrating with excitement doesn’t begin to describe your current state. “HER ROYAL HIGHNESS MISS LEMON MERINGUE IS STANDING RIGHT FUCKING THERE.”

With the finesse of a shampoo commercial, Bucky's dark locks fly as he whips around. “What?!”

“RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE.” You abandon a relieved Sam and latch on to Bucky’s vibranium arm. “Oh my GOD I love her so fucking much.”

“She was robbed, absolutely fucking robbed,” he agrees, craning his neck to get a better view. “Divine Tension’s lip sync was shameful.”

Sam glances at Steve, who is slowly coming out of protector mode. “What the ever-loving hell are they talking about?”

“RuPaul’s Drag Race.” Nat flicks more confetti at both Cap-the-former and Cap-the-current. “They watch it every week.”

“Really, Steven, for a guy with enhanced super senses, you miss a lot.” Tony hefts a bedazzled Morgan higher on his back. The toddler, accompanied by Scott playing air-piano on the ground, sings along with the ABBA song being blasted at full volume through the street. Tony continues as if this is an everyday occurrence. “Why do you think both of your People disappear every Friday evening?”

Ears pink, Steve mumbles something.

“What?!” The only other one with hearing enhanced enough to hear a murmur over the cacophony of several thousand people belting out the chorus of ‘Dancing Queen’ at the top of their lungs, Bucky turns to stare at his friend. “You thought we were datin’?”

Steve’s blush extends down his neck.

You and Bucky stare at each other for a moment before you both collapse on each other, exploding into stomach clenching, thigh slapping laughter.

“I’m gonna guess that’s a ‘no’?” Clint confirms with Nat.

“Oh, a big ‘no’.” She watches affectionately as you and Bucky calm down enough to look at each other, breathe for a second, and both promptly dissolve into hysterics once more. “Like, the biggest ‘no’.”

Sam crossed his arms across his chest, his stoic stance so reminiscent of Steve it’s amusing (as well as a beautiful disparity to the sequined crop top he’s sporting. Oof, those abs.). “How do I not know about this?”

“Because you’re not a former super spy?” The usually-Black-but-today-Rainbow Widow tosses the last of her confetti at Tony, who spins a jubilant Morgan into it. “Or because you and that leggy barista from the lobby coffee shop are too busy playing hide-the-“

“-Baby Shark!” Morgan suddenly shrieks, flailing towards a guy on roller blades wearing a fin and tail (and not much else).

“Yeah,” Nat finishes with a smirk, “Hide-the-Baby Shark.”

Sam flips her a gesture that makes Clint laugh and Bruce sigh.

You and Bucky have finally managed to pull yourselves together. “Oh my god, Steven Grant,” you gasp, wiping tears from your eyes. “That’s the funniest fucking shit I’ve ever fucking heard.”

“Language!”

Steve glares at Tony. “One. Time. It was one. Time.”

Bucky slings his flesh arm around Steve’s shoulders. “Oh, punk. You may have perfect vision now, but sometimes you’re still as blind as you were before.”

Visiortn himself nods sagely. “Humans can be quite unperceptive when it comes to matters of the heart.” Vision casts a fond smile at Wanda, who is using her powers to make Pietro’s tinsel wig fly on and off. “Sometimes you have to look harder to see what’s right in front of your nose.”

A confused frown on that handsome face, Captain Clueless looks at Bucky. “Why do I feel like everyone else knows something that I don’t?”

His bestie sighs deeply. “Because, Stevie, almost everyone else on this planet knows that my tastes tend towards tall, blonde, blue-eyed knuckleheads who have zero sense of self-preservation.”

“And an ass you could bounce a quarter off of,” Scott helpfully supplies.

“And that,” Bucky agrees.

Steve frowns.

You press your palms to your eyes in vexation. “You, Steve. He’s talking about you.” (Seriously, how has this idiot survived for over a century while being so dumb?)

Whatever he was expecting, it was certainly not that. “He-“ The Man With A Plan gapes as he turns to his oldest friend. “You-“

“Me,” Bucky says gently.

Even though you’re slightly surprised that Bucky is going to do this in such a public forum, you can’t help but be so proud of your friend. It has taken a long time for Bucky to believe he deserves to be happy. There are days he still sinks into that dark place, where his inner demons whisper that he should have fought harder against his Hydra captors, and that his past actions were still somehow his fault. Those are the days no amount of baking or Modern Marvels will bring him out of his funk. You, Steve, Sam, and Nat have all held those strong shoulders as they shook with sobs, overwhelmed by the shame and horror at what his hands had done without his consent.

But he’s here. He’s free. And he’s smiling nervously at his best friend.

“I-” Steve is short-circuiting. “Me?!”

“Stevie.” With the kind of tender patience that can only be born of a lifetime of keeping (or attempting to keep) an idiot such as one Steven Grant Rogers from flinging himself headlong into every fight he comes across, Bucky moves his flesh hand to the back of Steve’s neck. His face is full of such soft affection that you almost want to look away for fear of intruding on this suddenly intimate moment. “What do you think ‘til the end of the line’ means, you idiot? You’ve been it for me since I was thirteen-years-old.”

Blue eyes are locked with blue eyes as Steve processes this revelation. “I-” He shakes his head as if to declutter his thoughts. “This whole time?”

“Since the first time I saw that asshole knock you down, and your scrawny ass climbed right back up.” A wry chuckle escapes as Bucky reminices. “You were ninety pounds soaking wet, and you stood there, against a guy who was three times your size, and never waivered for a second. It was magnificent.”

“I don’t like bullies,” is Steve’s quiet response.

Bucky’s grin is adoring. “I know, sweetheart.” He gently strokes the back of Steve’s neck with his thumb. “You’ve always had a heart way bigger than your brain.”

Steve is still back on the first part of Bucky’s admission. “If you’ve felt- if you-” He’s practically pleading. “Why didn’t you say anything then?”

Bucky shrugs, attempting and failing nonchalance. “It was a different time, you know?” He’s uncharacteristically unsure of himself, the subtle waiver in his voice revealing the anxiety born of a lifetime of being forced to hide his truth. “I mean, you remember how it was; you didn’t talk about, no one talked about- about being- about people like...” He swallows thickly. “And I was so scared you didn’t, that you weren’t-” His voice breaks.

Even though you’ve all been emotionally invested in this love story for years, the entire team respectfully pretends not to listen as the former Winter Soldier quietly admits his deepest secret to his closest friend. It’s enraging as Bucky confesses yet another way he's been a victim of his circumstances, and denied his right to live freely without derision. Once more, you’re awed by his resilience.

“-it was a risk I couldn’t take,” Bucky finally gets out, that stubborn fire back in his eyes. “I couldn’t lose you, Steve. I couldn’t chance it. I could live with just being your friend and only your friend so long it meant you were in my life.”

Stunned silence meets the end of his confession. Steve’s face is impassive, those cerulean eyes uncharacteristically inscrutable.

You can all tell Bucky is heading steadily towards dread and heartbreak the longer Steve takes to respond. You and Sam exchange a look, both ready to intervene if Steve demonstrates any of the abhorrent attitudes that were so prevalent in the society of his youth. It would be completely out of character for him, but...

Finally, Steve speaks. “You’re telling me,” he says, his words slow and deliberate, “that you made me wait ninety-three years to tell me you’ve felt the same way about me as I have about you since the day you picked me up out of that alley?!”

The whole found family breaths a collective sigh of relief as Steve pulls Bucky even closer, broad chest to broad chest.

“Okay, to be fair, you were an ice cube for most of that time and I wasn’t exactly available for a relationship.” Bucky’s grin stands in contradiction to his mullish defense. “But yeah, that’s the gist of it.” There’s the Bucky you all know and love, biting his lip with those perfect white teeth. “Now, punk, I’d really like to kiss you now, but first I need you to say you want me to.”

“You-” Steve’s throat works as he attempts- and fails- to rein in his emotions. “You jerk.”

And then the Star Spangled Man seizes the president of the Sometimes-Former-Assassins Club by his ridiculously perfect face and crashes their mouths together.

At any Pride event, seeing two men kissing is, obviously, to be expected. But seeing The First Avenger and The White Wolf attempting to swallow each other’s tongues is not at all routine. As people realize what is happening, the crowd is whipped into a frenzy the likes of which is usually reserved for the aftermath of sporting events and elections that defeat fascists.

Watching the two men embrace, Scott sniffles loudly. “I’m gonna cry, I’m so happy.”

He’s certainly not the only one. Wanda has a watery smile as she wraps her arms around Vision and Pietro; Pepper, Tony, and Bruce are watching with fond parental energy; you and Sam sandwich Peter between the two of you, grins practically splitting your faces. Even Nat’s eyes look suspiciously shiny and she and Clint sling their arms around each other with platonic affection. And that’s not counting the several thousand people who are cheering for love being love being love being love.

When they finally break their embrace, the Centennial twins are startled to see they’ve collected quite an audience.

“Uh, so…” Suddenly bashful, Steve glances back to his- partner? Boyfriend? Soulmate? Is there a word that can accurately describe two people who have found each other time and again in a world that seems hell-bent on keeping them apart?- his ears practically maroon with embarrassment. For a guy with one of the most-recognized faces in the world, Steve is still incredibly and endearingly uncomfortable with attention. “Buck?”

Bucky seems just as stunned as Steve.

Thankfully, the masses demonstrate the usual support that’s the hallmark of Pride. “LOVE IS LOVE!” someone screams in the crowd. It’s quickly echoed, and chants fill the park.

The attention momentarily off them, the former Winter Soldier and his giant himbo of a soulmate look back at each other. You pretend not to watch through the happiest tears as they embrace again, bringing their foreheads together. The relief they share is palpable, as they’re finally able to show the world- and each other- the love they’ve each hidden for so long.

Bucky’s voice is so soft you have to strain to hear it. “You have no idea how much m’in love with you, Stevie.”

“Pretty sure I do,” Steve answers, bringing a hand up to carefully wipe the tears from Bucky’s face. “‘cause it’s as much as I love you, Buck.”

Bucky's answering grin can only be described as saucy. “Then kiss me again, like you mean it.”

And Steve, for once in his long life, does exactly as ordered.

---

A/N: “The Sometimes-Former-Assassins Club” is from Starry_Emerald173’s BRILLIANT The Avengers Wrangler over on AO3. If you haven’t read it yet, drop what you’re doing and do so immediately. Make sure you're not drinking any liquids, or your keyboard/phone may be in peril.

#writer wednesday #steve x bucky #stucky #steve rogers fic #pride #steve rogers fanfiction #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #stucky fanfic #stucky fanfiction #love is love #happy pride #steve rogers x bucky barnes #platonic reader #my writing

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