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#like they kiss they hold hands and when people tell them that they're dating they look at each other with sparkling eyes before saying
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I cannot let this show go without writing my goodbyes... Deep Night Final EP
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Deep night was everything and more. It was a show that was made with insane love, thought and care and it fucking shows. That loves shines through the screen and it is GUARANTEED to warm your cold dead heart. Cheewin has always made his shows a bit more grounded, a bit more queer, a bit more real. Since YYY you can just tell there's someone in the crew that understands queer experience and this was it again. The good parts, the sad parts, the struggle without exploting it for pity. It showcased confusion and acceptance and love and love and love. So many different kinds of love.
Wela and Khemtid
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These two developed so beautifully, from people who misunderstood eachother, to people who felt attracted to each other but still didn't get it, to people who listened, apologized, leaned on, supported, loved, cared for eachother. Khemtid's enchantment with wela blossomed after they fought about Wela's job, he realized that acceptance was the better route to take and he just worked hard to get it right, to make up for it, to help. Wela at the same time tried so hard as well to understand Khem's feelings, making it easier for them to reach the middle ground. He worked so hard with Khem to keep the club afloat, he was never mean to his coworkers, he carried the whole world on his back and still stood proud. They went from strangers to these two adorable dorks who hold hands and smile while kissing. I'm sorry but Khemtid smiling like he just won the world while giving his injured bboyfriend a handjob at the back of the club made my heart burn. That's complicity and partnership and mischief and intimacy. They stand on equal ground and that's so meaningful to me.
Then we have these three dorks
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The true rivals to lovers. I talked about this in my previous Deep Night post but it was brilliant. Their storyline developed so subtly and naturally I cried last week. The way Japan and Ken's love bloomed out of love for Seiji... like it's not that they're just dating Seiji, they're dating eachother and that comes from a trust that developed from and understanding, that grew from care into desire. Last week's episode showing Japan as the center of his fantasy showed that, Japan is also attracted to Ken, and Ken's heart has melted for Japan as well, unknowingly. The talk they had was so necessary, so respectful and rooted on concern and an actual attempt to build something that left no one out. Seriously the way they're sitting in the end, with Ken brushing Japans hand, the way Japan held Ken's hand and brought him into the hug to welcome him, to shelter him. I love that it wasn't fetishized. (Because we've tackeled threesomes before in other shows but not romantic love) I love them, they love each other, this is healing.
Freya and Meiji
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They are EVERYTHING. Honestly the role of women, specifically queer women in queer spaces has been overlooked for way too long. They take on the role of caring, protecting and supporting the whole club, the boys themselves and themselves. The fact that Freya's character was divorced and was constantly under attack from her ex-husbands family now existing with a same-sex partner was so complex yet beautifuly handled. Meiji was not just some random chic they threw in to gay it up, she was important to Freya, she helped at the club, she wasn't much around but when she was on screen she was Freya's rock. The talk on age... bro that shook me to the bone. Media is so focused on youth their questioning was so valid and so painful to watch... but it healed. Fuck I'm crying watching this. Everyone deserves to be loved by THEMSELVES.
Khem and Freya
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gET TF OUT I WANT TO BE ALONE this mother-son relationship was amazing. Both characters grew so much out of love for each other I want to swallow a shotgun. The was it was alway Freya trying to gain Khemtids approval was so heartbreaking, and watching Khemtid LEARN to accept and love his mom, accept and love the club, accept and love the role they play... fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK
Also we cannot forget Dai
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I don't even have words to explain how great this character was. Outfits on point, personality strong and unmoving, loud and authentic and accepted and part of everything and capable and necessary and just EVERYTHING. And the fact that Dai was perceived as a potential love interest for Freya without it being a joke or mockery was gold. Apart from that, all of these characters and storylines are interwoven in a net of complexity, social norms, real struggles but also real coping mechanisms. I also want to LOUDLY RECOGNIZE the work put into it, as they all worked hard to actually get on stage and perform acrobatics like their characters. There was just so much attention to detail and to making things right I want to cry just thinking about it. Please please please if you havent... Watch it. It may not be revolutionary but it's perfect to me. Deep night is a very queer show that decided to open a lot of wounds just to let them heal properly. THANK YOU DEEP NIGHT. I expected nothing from you and you're now part of me.
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bumblingbabooshka · 11 months
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write to me
#I drew this when I was VERY stressed (days ago)#bee doodles#Tuvok/Janeway#Janeway/Tuvok#st voyager#st voyager art#letter writing and the preparation of warm beverages#Janeway & Tuvok seem like they'd call each other things like 'my other half' and 'my moral center' and 'my dearest companion' but then you#ask if they're dating and they're like Noooo. Absolutely not. and they're not but they are coming into each other's rooms at night#because neither of them can sleep well and talking about Mark & T'Pel while they lean against one another (holding the warm mugs instead of#hands - that comes later when they can pretend that maybe they were asleep)#because they're the only ones who know Mark & T'Pel - you're the only part of my old life that's here and that's a comfort and that's a#tragedy (because I care about you too much to want you here but I need you too much to wish you were anywhere else - and maybe I'm too#selfish too and too afraid to be alone) and when they're talking about Mark & T'Pel they can ignore the fact that they're leaning against#each other and how good the weight feels and how much their chests ache and how much they want more. Not even sex or a kiss but something#steady that lasts. (hold me close even if you can't tell me it'll be alright)#two people who're loyal to everything - too loyal to ask for what they want. They aren't dating because they're married to ghosts now and#to leave that haunted house would be to admit that there's nothing left there - that the grieving's done - and if the grieving's done then#the loving is too. It has to matter - it has to be present to be real (follow Starfleet rules follow Social rules follow the rules we make#up on the fly and honor as if they've been longstanding. Build a little life with me. Define strong lines we cannot cross. Look into my eyes#to make sure I'm not longing. Double check. Triple check. Don't look away. Please.)#When I want to hear your voice I'll read the words you've written - but I won't ask you to stay#Kathryn Janeway#Tuvok
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urfriendlywriter · 7 months
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small things that just matter in romance:
( feel free to use hehehehe | @urfriendlywriter
my favorite is 2, 6, 9, 14, 19, 25!! tag me when yall write plssss!! would love to read <3 )
little teasing pecks after kissing passionately
giving you a little twirl whenever you wear a dress > <
that gaze when they're introducing you to people using your relationship status
"this is my ___, everyone!" and that proud smile. AAAAH <3
"hey lover :)" with an eye crinkling smileeee aaaah.
their touch on your nape when they're clasping a necklace for you. (hey god its.. uh me again heh).
kissing in the rain!!! ✧♡
holding hands while he's driving! (and then they crash- obv safety first kids :))
them sneaking into your bedroom window to see you!!! (taylor swift coded I tell you)
slow kisses, dreamy, lazy, lips gently touching the teasing the other's, eyes fluttering closed, feeling all shy SJSJKJS
undressing infront of each other !! with no crazy 18+, just wholesome kisses here and there and then going to bed ^^
love letters sealed with kisses
"hey, buzz off, that's my wife!" "ayo, you think you can talk about my husband like that?" kekekeke
draping arms around each other's waists while walkinggggg >>>
booping noses n giggling
brushes of lips with shaky breaths and a tired smile after a long day. :')) me when
flowers. tucking hairs behind your ears. caressing cheeks.
buying dinner and eating it in the car together! or in like the back of the caravan!
beach dates, running close to the waterline and tackling each other <33
midnight dances in the kitchen, going full out n crazy and not just slow dancing.
tugging at their collar when kissinggg kekekeke
mutually loathing someone and shit talking ab them (do yk how fun it is)
mini dates in the rooftops, lying on a macrame chair/hammock on top of each other and watching the moon !!!!
hugs first kinda love. seeing each other after work? hugs. and being picked up during hugs >>>
mumbling to each other in a room full of people and quietly laughing. having eyes only on each other when the world is watching you.
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keyotosprompts · 3 months
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in between ᯓ★
jealousy prompts (oooooo)
⇴ person a sees person b absolutely hit it off with person c (and is very obviously pained because of it). person b comes over to talk to person a, but is only met with awkward conversation instead of the same boisterous talks they usually have.
⇴ person b sees person a with another person, and they have to bite down on their lip so hard whenever person a talks about the other person, because deep down person b wishes that a was with them (this was more pining than jealousy but oh well).
⇴ "was that a good conversation?" "oh... yeah. it was great" "great." [and there's this thick, awkward silence afterwards].
⇴ person a wishes that they could be person b. person b has it all: charisma, hilariousness, the friends, the partner, etc. (but maybe person a isn't jealous of person b... maybe person a is desperately craving person b's attention and that's why they're jealous)
⇴ person b is watching person a from afar, chatting it up with this other person. b has a strong urge to pull a away from everyone and pull a into b's own little world, but refuses because they want to keep a happy, even if it's at a cost at b's own happiness.
⇴ person a and person b are dating, and person a just finished a conversation with someone person b was jealous of. when they get home, person b is a bit more clingier and so much more touchy. cue a's teasing and b hiding their face in the crook of a's neck.
⇴ ^ "so... are you finally gonna admit you were jealous?" "uh, no, because i wasn't" (b says as they press kisses to a's neck and hold a close to their body).
⇴ "you guys look good together." "really?" (and a/b wants to shout NO!!!!!!)
⇴ "and i love you. i love it when you do the double-tuck thing with your hair when you're nervous, does [person c] notice that? do they know that when you shove your hands in your pockets, you're really just doing it so you can fidget without anyone knowing? or, what about the way you look at people–" and person a is in total shock the whole time.
⇴ "i can't take it anymore. i want–need you. i don't care about what [person c] thinks, i only care about you. tell me you need me too, and i'll stay."
⇴ person b is sulking after seeing person a reunite with someone they've been close to since forever (think family friend...yikes). person a thinks it's adorable and goes to "comfort" b by peppering their face with kisses and giving them words of affirmation.
⇴ "hey" kiss on the jaw "you don't have anything to worry about" kiss on the corner of the lips "i chose you for a reason" kiss on the temple "you're the one i love" kiss on the lips.
⇴ ^^ cut to person b being like "really?" with a cheeky grin.
⇴ person a is about to reach out to person b, only to see person b walk past them to go see person c. person a turns around to person c and immediately feels flooded with comparisons. specifically, "why don't they like me like they like them?"
⇴ person a is constantly checking the relationship status of person b, and their heart always aches when they continue to see person c's username in person b's bio.
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seospicybin · 23 days
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TOO HOT TO HANDLE.
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PART I
Hyunjin x reader. (s)
Too Hot To Handle Masterlist
Synopsis: You and Hyunjin become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (20,4k words)
Author's note: This is the beginning of an end to the series so please enjoy x
HOST: Lana is back! And she's got a team of hot, sexy singles. This group of people hook up so fast but nothing compares to how fast they run from commitment and their world will fall apart when they find out their dream vacation is in fact a sexless retreat hosted by the world's biggest cock-blocker. With a $200,000 prize at stake, will they learn to have deep, meaningful relationships? Or will temptations still be Too Hot To Handle?
-
Hyunjin doesn't know what to expect.
The show is the first of its kind and it's also his first time being a part of it. The fact that the staff got him blindfolded doesn't help him relax, a staff holds him by the arm to lead him somewhere. He obviously can't see anything but he hears the lapping waves from his right side and in the background, he hears low chatters from behind and in front of him.
The staff eventually tells him to stop walking and turns his body the other way, he doesn't know what to do next except to wait for further instructions. They make him wait for a minute until a voice comes, a distorted, robot-like voice from somewhere close to him.
"Conquerors, you can now remove your blindfolds!"
Hyunjin immediately reaches for the back of his head to untie the blindfold and keeps his eyes closed until he takes it off. The sun blinds him the second he opens his eyes, he quickly shields his eyes with his hand and squints to adjust them to the bright light.
He hears a few chuckles from next to him and girls squealing across from him, it's when he lowers his hand he can finally see the girls standing on the opposite side. For a split second, he feels ecstatic to be the only guy there but then he turns his head side to side and realizes that's just his wishful thinking.
While the girls are huddling around and hugging each other, he exchanges handshakes and side hugs with the other male contestants.
"Hyunjin," he introduces his name around with a friendly smile.
"What's up, bro?" The one with an impeccable mustache and a sheer Spanish accent, Diego says.
After the males are done introducing themselves to each other, they walk over to the girls to do the same to them.
"It's hot, huh?" Says the guy with long blond hair and pale skin, Andy.
Hyunjin can't tell if he's talking about the sunny weather or the girls, either way, he agrees with him. He can't even decide which one to look at. they're all so attractive that it feels like his eyes are having a feast right now.
To get girls, Hyunjin never really has to work hard for it, just a little stare and a little smile, then he gets it. He does just that as he tells his name to the girls, oozing with confidence and charms. The eyes he's getting from a couple of girls... oh, he can tell that he makes just the right impression on them.
Before he can make any moves though, the voice comes back. He finally learns that the voice is coming from the gate of what he assumes is where he'll be staying for the rest of the show.
"Conquerors, welcome to paradise!"
Everyone is cheering in response to that and Hyunjin is excited as well even though he never really learned how the show is going to work, they only told him that it's a reality show and he'll stay in the villa with the other contestants, having fun and enjoying himself so he signed up for it.
"Each of you has a particular skill and so you were selected for a mission: conquering this paradise."
Another wave of cheers and exclaims bursts out of everyone as they stand facing the gate while the voice continues talking.
"Behind you, there are some buried treasure chests, and inside one of them is the only key to the gate. By finding this kiss, you'd be allowed to enter paradise."
Hyunjin turns around almost in unison with everyone else, he sees that there's a big circle around a plot of sand and two crates filled with shovels for everyone to use.
"You have ten minutes to finish the task. Good luck!" The voice concludes.
-
HYUNJIN: I look like a Disney prince but I am no prince [Smirks] I have no time for relationships. I work as a model, I meet a lot of people and there are always parties and after parties. Sometimes there's a kiss, sometimes there's something more [laughs] That's why people described me as a spoiled playboy [grins]
-
"I joined this show to do some manual labor," said no one ever.
You stare at the pile of shovels before reluctantly picking it up, this is not how you want to start the show but it's the only way to win, so you put your gloves on and start digging. When you think you're the worst one here, you see a girl holding the shovel the wrong way.
"Guys, I don't know how to dig," says the short, blond-haired girl with freckles, Edie.
"Like this!" The curly-haired girl with round big eyes, Frida says, showing her how to properly dig the sand.
The girls are digging at the same spot so you walk to the other part and start digging there. While two guys already found two chests, the other two guys are standing on the sideline not far from you.
"Thank God we're here, man," the guy says to the other.
The other agrees with him with a fistbump and then says, "So many hot chicks, it's crazy."
You keep digging the sand while pretending not to hear them and eventually, you hit something hard so you use your hand to take it out.
"I found one!" You excitedly announce even though you haven't successfully taken the chest out of the sand yet.
"That's amazing!" Edouard praises, you can easily identify him from his French accent.
He then kneels next to you to help you pull the chest out and hands it to you.
"Thank you," you mutter with a smile.
Ten minutes have passed and the voice returns to tell everyone the time is up. Everyone is more than glad to stop digging and get rid of the shovels.
"Let's see if you found the key."
The staff makes everyone who obtained the treasure chests line up in front of the gate and take turns to open it.
The guy on the farthest left gets to open his chest first and turns out it's empty. The second guy takes his turn but it's also empty. You shake your treasure chest to know if the key is in yours but it's useless to find out when the third guy found the key in his treasure chest.
"Congratulations! You've conquered the first stage. You may access the villa."
To say that you're disappointed is an understatement, it's not so much about the key, it's how you obtained the treasure chest that gets you a bit upset.
Pablo, the guy who found the key, steps forward and uses the key on the big padlock. He throws the padlock aside once he successfully opens it and pushes the big gate that reveals the luxurious villa.
"Welcome to my house, guys!" Pablo jokingly says as he leads the group further inside.
Everyone is in awe of what they're seeing, a big swimming pool, yards, and the big villa that sits in the center of it all. You've never seen such a lavish piece of property, it's so big that you possibly need a day or two to learn your way around.
The sound of the champagne pops open startles you and a girl links her arm with yours, a beautiful girl with long dark hair and sleeve tattoos on both of her arms. You rake your brain to recall her name, Vic.
Everyone eventually grabs a glass for themselves and patiently waits for their turn for Edouard to fill it with champagne.
You catch the guy standing next to you having a sip before the toast, "Drinking before toasting is bad luck, you know," you tell him.
Hearing you say that, the guy turns to the side to face you and it's baffled you how beautiful he is, the kind that would make anyone the slightest bit intimidated by it.
The introduction everyone did earlier was too fast and too brief, you can't remember most of everyone's names because of it. However, there are only two long-haired guys here, one is blonde and his name is Andy so that makes him the other one and you're sure his name is Hyunjin.
Hyunjin has a small face yet his facial features delightfully complement each other and the eyebrow piercing should be a violation of such otherworldly visual but instead, it gives him that edge.
"It's not bad luck when I'm here and having this drink with you," he says, clinking his glass with yours then bravely takes another sip.
His stare is the opposite of the sweet smile he's giving you, it's bold and confident. You shouldn't be afraid of superstitious, you should be afraid of the type of guy that breaks your heart and he's standing right there in front of you, daring you to take a sip of bad luck.
"The hell, right?" You nonchalantly say then you bravely sip your wine.
His eyes don't stray away from you even after you return his dare to him, he keeps staring at your face with his mouth slightly parted open and his tongue peeking out on one corner of his mouth.
"Let's make a toast!" Edouard says, being the first to raise his glass in the air.
-
YOU: I think my shine bothers people a little but I'm not here to please anyone [grins] I play tennis in my spare time so I am quite competitive. I think I have the biggest chance to win this show... I will be the first person to score [giggles] and I always get what I want.
-
A big splashing sound startles you this time and it's coming from Pablo who jumps into the swimming pool. Soon, the other guys join him in the pool while the girls remain on the side, not wanting to risk ruining their hair or their make-up.
"Are you girls going to stand there?" Pablo asks, squinting his eyes to look at the girls.
"You have no idea what it's like drying this hair," Frida says with a subtle eye roll.
"It takes me forever to do my hair, I'm not getting it wet now," Marie adds.
You also remain on the side by sitting on the edge of the pool next to Vic with your feet dipped in the warm pool water.
Not long after, the males join the girls on the side of the pool to drink more champagne, talking about random things from the strangest places everyone has had sex to everyone's sexual preferences.
You're draining your wine glass empty when the question aimed at you, "How about you? Are you bi?"
"I think everyone is bisexual here," Edie playfully remarks.
You decide to swallow your drink first then wipe your lips after, "I've kissed girls but I don't know..." you doubtfully answer.
Vic puts her drink away and turns her head at you, "Let's test it then."
She grabs you by the chin and slowly brings your head closer so she can place a nice peck on your lips. You let out a smile when she lets go.
"That's nice," you genuinely say.
"I want some too," Pablo says who happens to witness the kiss.
You and Vic simultaneously burst into laughter at his sudden request but then she signals you to give him a peck together with her. You happen to want to fool around so you play along with her and give Pablo a quick three-way kiss with Vic.
"We could do better!" Pablo says, teasing for another go at it.
Vic laughs and puts her hand on your thigh, "Come on! You can do better!" She says to you.
Feeling challenged, you lean in first to kiss Pablo and Vic joins in a second later, you can feel their lips on you and the occasional tongue licks in between. You pull away first but Vic gets her hand on the nape of your neck, not letting you pull away from her kiss yet until she lets go.
The next thing you know, Diego and Frida are kissing and so are Andy and Edie, not caring that you're sitting next to them and trying so hard to ignore them.
-
YOU: I think our silly little kisses stirred things up and made everyone horny [chuckles]
-
Not going to lie, Hyunjin likes seeing you kiss another girl. Not the part where Pablo is involved but the part where Vic latched onto your lips after you pulled away from the kiss, that's just hot it gets him a little flustered.
All he can think of right now is when he's going to have his turn to kiss you.
"Are you guys going to stay in the pool? Because I want to see the bedrooms," Frida says, encouraging everyone to start exploring the villa.
"Oh, yeah. I want to see the bedrooms," Diego says, hurriedly getting out of the pool.
Hyunjin follows the majority by heading to the bedrooms even though he wants to stay in the pool a little longer, leaving a trail of wet footsteps behind him.
From the back, he can see that some couples are forming. First, there is Diego and Frida as they lead the group, walking hand-in-hand to the bedrooms. Next to him is Andy and Edie, walking side by side while cutely smiling at each other.
Hopefully, the third couple would be you and him, he can imagine how powerful would that be but before that, he has to take care of Pablo who has had his eyes on you ever since you shared a kiss with him.
The girls are squealing the moment they set their feet in the bedrooms but Hyunjin gets it why everyone is so excited at the sight of the beds.
"Guys, there's only six beds and there's ten of us," Frida says, making it even more obvious to everyone,
"Then we'll have to share," Andy innocently says.
"Who sleeps with whom?" Frida asks a provoking question.
Vic climbs onto the bed and takes your hand to join her, then starts to jump on it while holding hands.
Hyunjin randomly picks a bed and sits on it, ignoring that his trunks are dripping wet from swimming just to watch you bouncing on the bed like a kid having a sugar rush. It's a delightful thing to see until he hears the sound of the bed breaking down and the two of you abruptly stop jumping on it, collapsing onto the bed just to break into laughter.
"Guys, there's another way we could break the beds," Marie scolds you both.
But that only heightens the hilarity and you both break into another wave of laughter together.
After a moment, you go to another bed and lie down. Hyunjin wants to use this opportunity to make you his bed partner but Pablo beats him to it.
-
HYUNJIN: Everyone wants to have someone to cuddle with tonight and I know who I want to share the bed with [smirks]
-
While the boys are gathered in the gazebo in the backyard, the girls choose the lounge to gather with drinks have been served on the wooden table. What else is there to talk about but the ones that aren't in the room with them: The boys.
"A toast for us girls!" Edie initiates a toast with the glasses filled with chilled wine.
The girls then take a seat on the curved sofa and get comfortable talking about their choice of guys, unlike you who still need time to openly share things with them.
"I'd hook up with everyone but the one I like best is Edouard," Vic says.
"For me, it's Edouard, Hyunjin, and Andy..." Edie cracks a laugh at herself and continues, "I think we should all kiss each other."
You see that Edouard is quite popular among the girls and you can see why, he's tall, he has that chocolate skin and a great smile, plus he talks in a sexy accent, everyone wants a piece of that French man.
"Okay then we should jump on Edouard and everyone gets a kiss," Edie says with a hysterical laugh.
Everyone is free to be with whoever they want to be and this doesn't bother you at all but if everyone kissed your man, you don't think you'll like it that much.
"You can kiss anyone except my Diego," Frida says, putting her ownership over him already.
"I think you two look great together," Vic says while holding her glass close to her lips.
"But girl, I want to hook up with him too," Marie says, in the most unapologetic way.
"Oh, girl..." Frida awkwardly sighs, deciding not to respond to that.
It suddenly turns quiet and awkward in here, worse is you're sitting between Frida and Marie, your eyes glancing side to side to see if there's a potential to be a catfight here. Thankfully, things stay civil but you need a big gulp of wine.
Today is only the first day in paradise and you can see some things happening already. Some people are forming couples but you think everyone should get to know each other first. While the others are scattering around to make a move on their person of interest, you decide to have a moment for yourself to truly enjoy the paradise.
All of a sudden, someone comes from behind you and interrupts the peaceful moment.
"May I sit here?" Pablo asks.
He doesn't wait for your answer but takes a seat on your sunlounger and forces you to scoot to the side to make space for him.
"Yeah, sure," you awkwardly say.
He puts his arm around you and makes you rest your head on it, sharing the sunlounger.
"Miss me?" He asks.
"It hasn't been that long," you jokingly say with sheer sarcasm.
"Come here to tell you I can't stop thinking about our kiss," he mutters to you.
You did the three-way kiss with him to fool around but it seems like he's the only one thinking it's more than that, "Yeah?"
He has his hand on your jaw and turns your head to the side so he can kiss you. You let him have a kiss then quickly pull away.
He then presses his mouth close to your ear and whispers, "I think we should share the bed so we can do more than a kiss tonight."
You turn your head the other way and laugh it off, pretending to fix your hair when you're actually trying to put a space between you and him.
He senses that too but instead of letting you have that space, he pulls you closer and kisses your cheek, "Are you scared of getting too close to me?"
"No..." you weakly answer.
Pablo is what you call a textbook player, you recognize the games he's playing but what gives you the ick is how clingy he is. You don't know how to say that to him without hurting his ego.
"I like to talk. I talked to the other guys and all, and I want us to talk too," you say to him.
But Pablo doesn't want to do that, he comes for you for one thing only and it's not talking. He suddenly turns quiet and reclines on the lounger, he stares out at the view, letting the silence turn awkward.
"It's a gorgeous villa," he says out of the blue.
"Mmh, yeah."
"I think I want to see the rest of it," he says, getting up from the lounger to explore the villa.
-
YOU: With Pablo... [sighs] I think he came on too strong and we're lacking in conversations.
-
Pablo had his chance at you and he blew it.
That doesn't worry Hyunjin. He always has a good aim so he won't hesitate to take his turn to take a shot at you. He knows it's the right time to make a move on you since you're alone, lying inside the hammock while looking at the view of the sea.
Hyunjin makes his arrival known by coming from the side and showing you the bottle of wine he brings with him to show you that he comes in peace. He sees your smile when you notice him coming.
"Do you mind if I join you?" He politely asks.
"Only if you intend to share that bottle with me," you answer with a sweet smile. You make space on the hammock for him and keep your feet dangling on the edge.
Hyunjin opens the bottle with a loud popping sound and the wine fizzles as it gets exposed to the air. He immediately hands the bottle to you, "You can have the first sip."
You look at him then at the bottle before taking it from his hand.
"What do you think about all this?" He asks while watching you drinking wine straight from the bottle.
You let out a gasp after taking a sip and hand the bottle to him, "It's a bit overwhelming and intense but I like it, it's fun."
He allows himself to have his first sip as he thinks of another thing to ask you, "But you're ready, right?"
You let out a low chuckle and look him in the eyes, "Well, I am, I'm open for anything. I can be a bit emotional but I respect boundaries."
You take the bottle from his hand to take a swig and wipe your lips after, "I just don't want to force anything. Things should come naturally."
"You don't have to worry about that," he pauses midsentence to take his turn to drink wine, "We have that connection."
From the smile that grows bigger on your face, he can tell that Hyunjin is pulling all the right moves. He has that right balance between being a lover and a player, but more importantly, he keeps it real, there's nothing fake in everything he does or says.
"You're so beautiful," he compliments with an intense stare into your eyes to let you know he means it, it's not just a sweet nothing.
"Thanks," You wipe the drop of wine escaping the corner of your mouth and compliment him back, "So are you, you are absolutely gorgeous."
It's hard to concentrate when all he can think about is how badly he wants to kiss you and the wine that wet your lips is not helping him.
Hyunjin tilts his head slightly to the side and asks, "What do you like about me?"
You trail the mouth of the bottle with your index finger as you think of an answer.
"The whole thing, I guess,” you answer with a delighted laugh but fiercely stare back into his eyes, “But the eyes, especially."
It's cute that one second, you're shy and the next moment, you're this confident woman who stares right into his soul. He touches his lips to make you avert your attention from them and murmurs, "How about these lips? These lips do work, you know."
He teases you more by touching his lips with his fingers and doubles the intensity of his gaze into your eyes.
"Yeah?" You shyly smile again.
He props a hand against his head and drops his voice as it turns low and sultry, "Want to try them?"
You let out an amused laugh and hold down your hair on your shoulder from the wind, "Well, we drink from the same bottle, may as well..."
Once he notices that you're slowly leaning in, he hurriedly tilts his head upward to let you easily land your lips on his. He kisses you to show you how much he wants it, gently yet passionately. He places his hand on the nape of your neck to deepen the kiss and puts a little more tongue to taste you more.
You taste of wine and sunshine, of sweet, heavenly things. Your kiss is intoxicating yet he can't get enough of it.
"Not bad," you coyly comment once you pull away from the kiss.
Hyunjin thinks he likes you the best when you're both shy and confident at the same time.
-
HYUNJIN: I was really attracted to her immediately. She's hot, she's wonderful, I just couldn't help it [smiles]
-
God! Hyunjin is truly something.
You've been taking gulps of wine to help you calm down, but instead, you get a little tipsy from the accumulated amount of alcohol you've consumed so far. Or it could be from Hyunjin and his dizzying kisses. Oh, the kiss!
Hyunjin is devastatingly beautiful, you feel uglier the longer you see him but at the same time, you can't stop looking at his face. He has those crinkles in his eyes, long dark hair and he has that lean body, but underneath that dreamy look, there's a guy who knows how to get you all hot and bothered.
You hand the bottle of wine to him and then rest your hand on his chest, how his shirt is flapping open from the wind.
"I remember the girls were talking about you guys, we were joking around and then Edie said she wants to hook up with you," you randomly share with him.
He smiles with his mouth full of wine, he swallows it down before talking, "And you're jealous?"
You lightly chuckle and start playing with the button on his shirt, "I mean, we're all free to do whatever we want and if it doesn't happen for us… It's fine with me."
There's a crease formed between his eyebrows, he seems to disagree with your latter remark, "It's happening, no way it won't," he confidently says.
You kind of expected he would say that because that's just a typical answer that you probably heard so many times only that they were in different forms.
"That's sweet," you tell him, "but that's something a player would say."
Hyunjin lets out a low laugh, feeling caught by what you said. He then grips the neck of the bottle and the rings he's wearing clinking against it as he hands it back to you. You feel a little nervous as he intently watches you take a long sip of wine.
"Stop staring at me," you say with a gentle push on his chest, feeling flustered from how he stares at you non-stop.
Yet it only makes him keep doing it, he stares deeper into your eyes and coyly says, "How could I not?"
You slump down in the hammock and use his arm as a pillow, "I'm not used to this. Sending signals is my thing."
Teasing, flirting, seducing... these are your areas of expertise and now, you're the one on the opposite end of these things which makes it feel a little strange. Or it could be Hyunjin being too good at it.
Curious if Hyunjin is still staring at you, you turn your head to the side to only get greeted by his yet another intense stare. You crack a smile because it's the only way you know how to react to it.
"I can't take that smile," he says with adoration fills his eyes.
Without having to touch your cheeks, you know that they're heating from his sweet compliments.
"I like your smile," he compliments again.
"Thank you," you simply respond to him.
He leans in close enough that you can smell his alcohol-tinted breath as he says, "And I really like your kiss."
Hyunjin is truly something. There's nothing more sexier than a guy who knows what he wants and goes for it. The sexiest part of it is he makes you feel wanted.
"What about—"
Without letting you finish your sentence, he crashes his lips against yours. This time, his kiss is more intense than the previous one, it's deeper and hungrier, he doesn't stop his hands from wandering around your body and leaves searing touches on your skin like he's trying to light your body on fire.
Good thing that you don't mind getting burned alive by his desire.
-
YOU: The kiss was kind of romantic but at the same time, I was on fire [chuckles]
-
How this show works is still unclear.
However, the staff have been letting everyone have fun as much as we want and tonight, they're throwing a party in the villa. Even with the lack of context on the show, this is indeed a paradise.
The theme for the party is nautical and you pick a costume out of the selections provided by the staff. You settle on a blue and white striped cropped top and a white mini skirt, and you add a small sailor hat on the top of your head for the accessory.
The beach has been decorated according to the nautical theme but what gets everyone hyped is the round of shots served on the table. Everyone gets their hands on it and Edouard leads the toast to finally allow everyone to take it in one go. You quickly chase it down with a glass of juice to eliminate the bitter aftertaste, trying to stay sober for the rest of the night.
One round of shots is enough to make everyone loosen up and dance to the fast-paced music playing in the villa, Vic makes you dance with her and you're struggling to keep up with her energetic moves.
"Guys, guys, there's a party going on here!" Edie says, pointing at Diego who's having a body shot on Frida's chest.
Everyone is howling at them and not long after, following suit by doing the same thing to each other, you find yourself just standing there witnessing them having a wild time.
Hyunjin eventually comes up to you with glasses of shots in his hands, "Love shot?"
The plan is to stay sober but one more tequila shot shouldn't be a problem, right?
"Sure," you take one from his hand before linking your arms together for a love shot.
In this proximity, you can see the faint mole under Hyunjin's left eye and it's such an endearing thing to know. When you feel his eyes on you though, you get that flutter in your stomach.
"Together in three, two, one..."
You tilt your head as you drain the alcohol in one gulp and you feel it burns down your throat as you swallow it, you can't help but wince again at the bitter aftertaste.
Hyunjin lowly laughs seeing you with your nose scrunched up, he takes the empty shot glass from you and puts them away.
"I know how to make it sweet," he says, cupping your face in his hands before leaning in to kiss you.
His kiss is more intoxicating than the alcohol you consumed and screws the plan! You want to get drunk on his kisses even though you have to be on your tiptoe and cling to his shoulders for support. He keeps you steady by holding you close, wrapping his arms around your waist, and at times, hoisting you against him to deepen the kiss.
For a second, you forget that anyone can see this and only notice it when you pull away from the kisses to find everyone hooting at you.
The party comes to a halt when the music stops playing and the voice returns.
"Hello, Conquerors. I hope you're enjoying the party."
Andy with his cheeks blushed and bleary eyes, loudly whistling to show how much he enjoyed the party.
"In a few minutes, you'll have a special guest, a special international star," the voice announces.
That gets everyone intrigued and they start throwing random famous names around, hoping that one of their guesses is true.
"Enjoy the party!" The voice finishes.
The lights dim and the spotlight appears, beaming on the gate, raising everyone's anticipation about who the special guest is. You don't have any expectations but with everything you experienced so far in this villa, you reckon it's something special indeed.
The gate slowly opens only to reveal a cone sitting atop a barrel which you instantly recognize who she is and the actual show you're in.
"Oh, God, no," you mutter to yourself in denial.
"Look at— It's Lana!" Edie hysterically says, making it obvious to everyone.
"Yeah. It's her. It's Lana for real," Vic confirms.
As if that wasn't enough to make it real, the cone chimes and lights up, making her presence known to everyone.
"Fuck it. Let's kiss one last time," Edie says
She impulsively goes around kissing everyone, including you and everyone else doesn't want to miss the last chance at it and do the same. You must admire her boldness for that but you get a little jealous when she kisses Hyunjin, especially after knowing you can't kiss him whenever you want.
-
YOU: I know it's all too good to be true [sighs] This paradise has turned into hell.
-
When Hyunjin sees Lana, his mind goes blank.
First, it's a cone. Secondly, he doesn't know it has a name and it's Lana. And thirdly, Lana is going to ban everyone from doing sexual stuff which goes against his plan.
How did he end up here? Wait, no, he doesn't regret being here but he regrets not knowing what he put himself in which is a sexless retreat. Imagine being an alcoholic and you came looking like a bottle of fine wine, then he got told that he's not allowed to drink it. He can't be the only one seeing how messed up this is.
"As you know, I'm Lana, the hostess of this retreat. I'm back and fully updated for this season," the cone introduces herself with a different robot voice.
A few are clapping in response but the rest are still in shock at the turn of events, except Andy, who is too drunk to even process this much information.
"According to my data, all of you are real players who wouldn't be allowed in any paradise."
"Wow, she's sassy!" Vic comments.
"She's Lana, she can be sassy as much as she wants," Frida says, crossing her arms in front of her in defeat.
"Therefore, my goal is to offer a good environment for your personal development."
Hyunjin looks around to see not even a single face is looking happy about this, especially Edouard, he's been quiet and Hyunjin believes he is in a state of shock right now.
"As part of your social development, I have allocated a prize of $200,000."
"Okay, now we're talking," Pablo says.
That gets everyone cheering up a little but that doesn't mean they're not dreading the terms and conditions that come with it.
"And the prize will be decreased every time one of my rules is broken."
There goes the catch. Nothing ever comes off easy, especially with that much money. Maybe it's easy for some people to choose money over sex but for a bunch of horny people like them, it's doubtful.
"Tell us the rules then," Pablo says, being the only one enthusiastic about all this.
"No physical interaction aiming at sexual pleasure is allowed," Lana informs.
"Well, shit!" You and Vic mutter at the same time, then burst into laughter together.
"Does cuddling count?" Diego asks but his question remains unanswered as Lana continues with the list of rules everyone needs to adhere to.
"The following are forbidden: kissing, heavy petting, and any kind of sex."
Edouard recovers from shock only to descend into another state of shock after hearing the rules. He holds his head with both arms, completely devastated by it.
"This also applies to any form of sexual gratification, by yourself or together."
"Fuck, no!" Hyunjin reflexively reacts.
He thinks this one rule goes against his rights, his body belongs to him therefore he should be free to do whatever he wants with it.
"And since you didn't respect my arrival, $20,000 has been deducted from the prize fund," Lana comes with the most shocking announcement of all.
"Oh, fuck!" Pablo curses out loud.
"No, come on!" Vic complains.
Everyone suddenly regrets having that one last kiss and losing that much money when the retreat has barely begun yet.
'The prize fund now stands at $180,000."
"Oh, no man," Diego sighs.
Edie, the one who initiated that open bar of kisses innocently says, "Just let it go, guys."
"Welcome to Too Hot To Handle," Lana concludes, marking the party is over for everyone.
-
HYUNJIN: [Laughs] I have to laugh so I don't cry [sadly chuckles]
-
Once Lana has shown herself and revealed what the show actually is, the parts of the villa that were off-limits are now accessible. You get to see the dressing room and the girls are taking their time in here, wiping their make-up clean while enjoying what is possibly the coziest part of the villa.
"I think we all should chill tonight," Frida suddenly says as she ties a scarf around her curly hair.
The girls are giving her the side eyes, questioning the meaning behind her words.
"We already spent twenty grand so..." Frida reminds everyone.
"Yeah..." Vic half-heartedly responds.
Frida has a good intention but you're not sure if everyone is going to obey her words just because it's the right thing to do.
You're not going to deny the fact that you had those kinds of impulses and most of the time, you went with them without thinking so trying to not do that habit will be a struggle for you.
Thankfully, you're sharing the bed with Vic tonight and you think that's a safe option for now, you don't want to jump on the bed with any of the boys yet.
As you make your way to the bed at the end of the room, Pablo stretches his hand out at you, gesturing you to come to his bed. You thought he wanted to chat but he makes space on the bed for you, asking you to climb into the bed.
Noticing the puzzled look on your face, he asks, "Aren't you sleeping with me?"
As far as you remember, Vic is the only one who asked you to be her bed partner and you didn't mention anything about it to anyone else, especially Pablo.
"I'm sleeping with Vic," you answer him.
The warm expression on his face turns icy in a second, he pulls the duvet to his chest and clutches at it, "So this is how it's going to be," he says like a fussy child.
"It's only the first day," you simply explain which should be enough to let him know that the bed arrangement is not permanent.
But Pablo's mood is way too off for you to salvage, "Are you staying away from me?" He wildly accuses you.
You immediately shake your head, "No."
"I want to sleep with you but you're making me sleep alone," he grumbles.
"There will be other days," you tell him.
"Are you sure about that?" He says with an unkind stare.
You don't see why he has to be this upset about the bed situation while everyone else can sort it out without having to throw a tantrum like this.
Still, you choose to keep your calm and respond with a light chuckle.
Pablo shifts on the bed and clutches his duvet up to his neck, "Goodnight," he says with an angry tone.
"Are you mad?" You meekly ask.
"No," he replies then ends the conversation with yet another angry goodnight.
You didn't notice that Frida is witnessing all of this on the next bed and you feel embarrassed even though you're not the one acting childish.
Not wanting to make him more angry, you get to your bed and Vic is already there, sitting cross-legged and wearing a cropped top and boy shorts as her sleeping attire.
You sit on the end of the bed facing away from Pablo's bed, "I think we found the worst one," you tell her with a repulsed expression.
Vic laughs and is open to listening to your rant about what just happened between you and Pablo, and how childish the whole situation is.
Then she uses her eyes to gesture at Pablo's bed, "Diego and Frida have to deal with his bad mood now," she lowly mutters.
You take a few seconds before glancing over your shoulder to see Pablo talking about it to Diego and Frida on the bed next to him.
When you look back at Vic, you both let out a laugh at the same time.
-
YOU: Here I thought I was intense but jeez... [chuckles] Pablo is too intense.
-
The cone chimes and startles everyone in the room who's barely awake from their sleep yet.
"Good morning, everyone," Lana greets.
"Morning, Lana girl," Edie replies with a hoarse voice.
"How was your night?" Lana asks.
Everyone is answering with groans and grumbles, there are just too many complaints coming all at once.
"This is a reminder that this show is no longer Conquerors of Paradise and the only thing left for you to conquer is your sexual urges."
Another series of groans is coming from everyone and echoing in the room in response to Lana's announcement. It's obviously not the kind of thing everyone wants to get in the morning: a reality check.
"We lost 20k you guys," Pablo says, squeezing the cushion on his lap.
"He keeps reminding us," Edouard says with a light chuckle.
"It was epic. Everyone enjoyed it," Andy comes in defense even though he looks groggy with his bleary eyes and his blond hair stuck to his face.
"Yes, but we lost 20k for doing that," Pablo says again.
Hyunjin lets out a chuckle at how Pablo doing exactly what Edouard said, reminding everyone about the money, and after a while, he's aware of what he just did.
"We started on the worst possible way," he makes an argument.
"No, dude. It's the best!" Diego disagrees with him.
Pablo shrugs and brushes his wavy hair to the back, "I mean, financially."
Edie points at Pablo and says, "Look everyone, we got ourselves a bookkeeper."
That amuses everyone, well, except Pablo who strongly shakes his head in disagreement.
"I won't be that person," he remarks.
Edie lets out a sarcastic laugh and says, "Yeah but there's always a bookkeeper."
Whether there'll be a bookkeeper or not, it seems like it won't stop anyone from breaking the rules, including him. But Hyunjin only has one person in mind to do that with and sadly, he's not sharing the bed with you yet. He gets it that maybe you want to keep your options open for now and you don't want to be haste on a decision.
He feels relieved though that you're not sleeping with another guy which means that he still has a chance to have you as a bed partner and he's ready to make that happen.
-
HYUNJIN: When I feel like it's something I really want, I'm going to go for it [smirks]
-
A session of yoga with Frida and two glasses of juice helped you to sober up completely, you feel less like shit after a shower and even better once you dressed up for the day.
You decide to spend the afternoon sunbathing by the pool and on the way there, you spot Pablo already occupying one of the loungers.
It reminds you of what happened last night and how it feels unpleasant whenever you recall it, you hate that things went awry between you and him so you decide to try to talk about it with him.
"Hey, mind if I sit here?" You ask, taking a seat on the next lounger.
Pablo squints his eyes to look at you and stays reclining on the lounger, "Nah."
You want to approach things kindly to not get misunderstood again so you carefully pick your words before letting them out.
"Okay, so... I think last night we had a miscommunication and after that talk, I don't like how it created tension between us," you begin by assessing the issue head-on.
He wipes the sheen of sweat on his forehead and turns his head at you, "Yeah."
"I want you to know that I didn't get on the bed with you not because I didn't want to," you calmly explain to get your message across, "I just don't remember having that conversation about the—"
"I wanted to talk to you about it but I don't like pulling you away from the others, it's annoying," he cuts you off and gets defensive.
This is what you don't like about him, he's not even letting you finish your explanation first and you doubt he even listened to you at all.
"You know what, you're free to do whatever you want, we can finish talking—"
It's your turn to cut him off and get defensive, "That's not it. You don't listen. You don't let me speak."
"Everyone gets to know me a little but you, you're always distant," he starts an argument yet again.
"We both know that everyone has their own way of getting to know someone," You're losing a bit of your cool as you said it.
"I can talk to everyone but I can't talk to you," he remarks.
That sounds like Pablo has made up his mind, he doesn't want to either listen or talk, he wants to stop interacting with you altogether and it sounds final.
"For me, I think we just have to stop talking about it," you try to salvage what can be saved from it even though you're not really that confident about it.
"It's over," he finalized it on his own.
It's such a shame that he closes himself immediately without giving himself a chance to be open, even to keep things on good terms between you and him.
"Okay, then," you say in defeat, choosing to leave because your presence seems to bother him.
-
YOU: Despite everything, I wished to remain friends with him but it seems like that won't work either.
-
With Pablo constantly avoiding you, you don't have to worry about bumping into him or starting a conversation with him and the fact that he's the one who broke it off only makes you feel less guilty about it and somehow liberated. You're hanging out in the firepit with Vic and Edie, just chatting and drinking wine in between, enjoying the warm night.
In the middle of Edie delivering a funny anecdote, Hyunjin comes into view and she abruptly stops talking. There's something about him that makes people couldn't help but look at him and he's taking everyone's attention with how impeccable he looks tonight.
Hyunjin is wearing this printed shirt that would look tacky on some people but he pulls it off just fine, more than fine to be exact. He looks dashing, overflowing with charisma.
"Hey," he says to everyone but his eyes landed on you in the end.
You would have mistaken him for a statue if he weren't talking, you hurriedly get ahold of yourself and say hi back to him.
"Can I borrow her for a minute?" He asks either Vic or Edie.
Vic puts her arm around you and pulls you closer, "No, you can't," she jokingly says to him.
Hyunjin sheepishly smiles and offers his hand at you once you break free from Vic's hold, taking his hand to help you get up from the sofa.
"See you guys later," you say to Vic and Edie as he leads you in the direction of the beach.
The beach offers a different view with the pale moonlight that shines down on the sea and the surface of the water reflecting the starry night sky at you. He takes you to sit on the bench next to him and you take a moment to get rid of the sand caught in your shoes, doing it quietly to not ruin the moment.
"You look amazing," Hyunjin compliments with a sheepish smile.
"You too. I like the shirt," you compliment back and it's not a hard thing to do when he looks that good.
A gust of wind blows your way and it makes your hair fly around so does Hyunjin's, he can easily brush it to the back and it won't make a big difference while you can only hope that you don't look like you just rolled out of the bed.
He catches the stray hair floating around your face and safely tucks it behind your ear, his hand lingers there for a moment before he lightly touches your necklace.
"I like this," he murmurs.
You hold your breath even though his finger touches the pendant on your necklace and makes no contact with your skin whatsoever.
"Thank you," you mutter.
It's so quiet except for the constant sounds of the waves lapping the seashore and it seems like Hyunjin takes his time to talk and just be alone with you. After a moment passes you and him exchanging cryptic gazes at each other, and he finally begins talking.
"Can I be honest with you?"
"Yes," you reply, curious about what he wants to share with you.
"I don't know how to say this but you're just my type," he pauses to lick his lips, making them wetter and tempting you to do something about it.
"You have everything that I like about a girl. You're super attractive, and you're a bit shy but at the same time, you exude confidence which I eat that up."
Like it isn't obvious enough, Hyunjin boldly remarks, "Dare I say that you're my dream girl."
You remind yourself to keep your cool even though this beautiful man just told you that you're his ideal type of girl and it takes everything in you not to let out a hysterical scream.
"Do you have anyone you fancy here?"
You thought it was obvious to him but of course, he needs to hear it from you directly, "Well, I want to get to know you."
"But do you fancy anyone else?" He asks again.
You see that Hyunjin is here to make sure your head is not turning anywhere else, you want to keep your options open but for now, he's number one on your list. Still, you don't know what he's playing at so you stay cautious about it.
"You're my number one right now," you openly share with him.
A smile blooms on his face and Hyunjin nods in approval, his hand secretly inching closer to yours.
"What do you think about sharing a bed with me?" He asks with eyes that are filled with such intensity.
"Sharing a bed? With you?" You ask him back instead of answering, just so there's nothing lost in translation.
"Yes," he hastily answers.
You pretend to consider it for a while before nodding and coyly saying, "Okay."
He looks at you and the moment your eyes meet, you both crack a laugh at the same time like two teenagers in love.
"That leads me to another question," he continues.
You tilt your head to the side and hold all of your hair on one shoulder, "Yes?"
 "The rules are set, but that doesn't mean we have to follow them," he says to you
You always know that he's not giving a single fuck about the rules or having any intentions to follow them, and that scares you but in an exhilarating way.
"What would it take to get you to break the rules?" He asks with devilish glints filling his eyes.
That sounds more like a threat rather than a question but you don't feel threatened at all, you feel thrilled instead.
"Let's make it happen," he seductively says with inviting eyes and his teeth faintly biting his lower lip.
His words really are enchantments and you feel like submitting to his wishes without thinking, however, your conscience leads you the other way.
"I want to make it happen," you honestly tell him and because it's true, there's nothing you want more than kiss those luscious lips he occasionally lick and bite, and quench the thirst you have for this man.
"But we can't be the first," you continue.
There's no denying that at one point, you and Hyunjin will break the rules but you refuse to be the first to do that. The amount of shit anyone will get for being the first to rule break makes you shudder.
"We'll see," Hyunjin says with a nod.
He suddenly backs away and his hand flies to his lips, index, and middle fingers rubbing them as he's looking at you with observing eyes.
A thought crosses your head and it makes you think if Hyunjin suddenly loses interest after you indirectly rejected him and you start to overthink it until he leans in closer than before.
He tilts his head downward and looks at you through his lashes, then softly he says, "You're going to rule break with me."
-
YOU: This just feels like "Ooh..." I get a little chill from it. I need more.
-
This is the time to be afraid.
You're sharing the bed with Hyunjin tonight and those impulses will likely appear, and you're a hundred percent sure going to struggle to not go with it.
A smile rises on Hyunjin's face when you come and climb onto the bed. He throws the extra cushions onto the floor and pats your pillow before letting you rest on it.
"Thank you," you mutter, lying on the bed next to him.
Initially, you planned not to jump on the bed with a guy yet but something tells you that you may have something more with Hyunjin and you want to cultivate that further. He endearingly puts away the hair covering the side of your face so he can nuzzle his head into the crook of your neck.
"Mmh... you smell really nice," he sighs with eyes closed.
It's not much about the praise but the way he said it, softly yet seductively. And the warm breath that fans your neck isn't helping you to think of something to say back to him.
Somehow, you end up lying facing him on the bed and his face is merely inches away from yours. While the others are having a chat in the room, you both just look at each other and hold hands under the cover.
"I'm already dying to kiss you," he lowly mutters, not letting anyone else hear it.
You smile at that and are still unable to think of something to say when he's constantly having your eyes locked in a gaze with him.
"How am I going to kiss you?" He asks in a whispery voice.
He brings his head closer to you until his forehead meets yours, "I can't do it. I'm fucked," he whispers.
It seems like what he said to you triggered an impulse out of you and he best believes that you want to kiss him so badly too. However, you decide to have a little control over your impulses.
"We can do it like this," you suggest an idea by kissing two of your fingers then transfer the kiss by placing them on his plush lips.
Hyunjin chuckles and grabs your hand, he laces his fingers with yours before pushing it close to his chest.
"That's not enough," he says with an adorable pout.
You slowly lean in and place a sweet kiss on his cheek, letting go with a smile on your face.
"If you can go a little to the left and a bit further down, I'd really appreciate it," he playfully says.
You giggle at his creative effort to make you kiss him and as the lights switch off, Hyunjin overlaps your body with yours, then carefully, rests his head on your chest.
You put your hand in his dark locks and feel them slipping between your fingers as you brush them with your fingers.
"Your hair is so soft," you murmur.
"My lips are soft too," he murmurs back to you.
You lowly chuckle at his another effort to make you kiss him and instead of giving him that, you give him a gentle pat on the head.
"Goodnight," you murmur.
Hyunjin places a kiss on your neck and murmurs back, "Goodnight."
Even with your eyes closed, you're constantly battling your impulses not to kiss him or think of his body being on top of you.
-
YOU: I’m used to be the one getting the attention but all the girls here are stunning and finally, someone interested in me and it’s Hyunjin. [smiles]
-
Hyunjin feels the need to pinch himself on the cheek to know that it's not a dream.
He wakes up next to you and seeing your face the moment he opens his eyes this morning, you look so peaceful as you soundly sleep next to him that he doesn't dare to wake you up.
It's when the lights are on, that he sees your eyes fluttering open like a pair of butterfly wings, a mesmerizing thing to see in the morning.
"Morning," he softly says to you.
You sleepily smile as you rub the sleep of your eyes and slowly hoist yourself up to have a sip of water from your tumbler.
Everyone else is also waking up from their slumber, looking disoriented and sleepy, but not you, you look so angelic with a bare face and tousled hair.
"You look really good in the morning," he compliments you.
You grin with your mouth full of water, then mutter your gratitude once you swallow it. You probably think that the compliments he's giving you are just sweet nothings and that's okay, he understands if you think that way but that won't stop him from doing it.
"Morning, my man!" Hyunjin says as he makes eye contact with Andy who sleeps on the next bed.
He foolishly grins at him with his messy blond hair, "How was your sleep?"
Hyunjin uncaps his water tumbler while looking at him, "I had a boner all fucking night last night."
He wishes he was joking but it's true, he didn't have any problems when he shared the bed with Marie on the previous night and he thinks it happens because he's physically attracted to you. If only you knew how much he refrained from not kissing your lips or touching you all over when your body lying so close to him and molding against his body.
"What do you usually do in the morning?" You curiously ask while tying your hair into a messy bun.
How can he concentrate on answering your question when it's mesmerizing to see how you gather all of your hair at the top of your head, exposing your beautiful neck to him?
"Swimming," he finally replies.
Spotting a strand of hair escaping your bun, he tucks it for you behind your ear.
"What about you?" He asks back.
"Uhm... watching you swim," You answer with a cheeky laugh.
"I'd go skinny dipping then," he jokingly says.
"I'd love that even more," you joke back.
You're just too cute, he feels like squeezing you like you were a plush toy but instead of that, he nuzzles his head into your neck trying to tickle you.
Hyunjin does what he planned, he goes swimming on the beach instead of working out with the other guys and has breakfast after. He changes into a sleeveless top and swimming trunks, he is about to find you when he gets the notice that everyone gets called to the cabana.
Seeing that you're already wedged between Vic and Frida, Hyunjin has no other choice but to share the small sofa with Edouard on the side of the room.
Lana chimes shortly after everyone settled on their seats, "Hello, everyone."
"Hi, Lana," everyone replies at the same time in various tones.
"I regret to inform you that the rules of my retreat have already been broken," Lana announces.
Hyunjin doesn't know why everyone acts surprised when every single person in there has contributed to the first rule break that costs $20,000 at the beginning of the retreat.
A minute passes in silence as everyone tries to guess who has done these rule breaks.
"Okay? Who is it?" Marie asks around with her eyes scanning for any guilty faces.
Unbeknownst to him, the guy sitting next to him raises his hand. His first thought is who Edouard got it with? He can't know for sure with these people but he hopes it's not with you.
"We had a moment and we took it," Edouard says.
"Who's we?" You ask him with a knowing glance shot at Vic.
Okay, now he knows who Edouard got it with and playfully elbows his side to tease him.
"Vic and I," Edouard calmly answers, "It was nice, it's exactly what I wanted it to be and I'm open to seeing where things go with her."
Instead of complaining, everyone is cooing at him and admiring how earnestly he handles it. Hyunjin must admit that he's being a true gentleman for coming clean immediately.
"The kiss has cost the group $3,000," Lana informs.
And that isn't the worst one yet as Lana continues to reveal more rule breakers, "They were not the only ones to break the rule."
"Oh, stop it!" Marie says with the thickest British accent he ever heard coming out of her mouth.
For pure entertainment, Hyunjin tries to guess who else has broken the rules and he notices that Andy is exceptionally quiet right now when everyone knows he's the most talkative one.
"You've been hella quiet, Andy," he teases him.
In a second, the calm on Andy's face shatters, and he starts grinning out of panic for being caught hiding something.
"With Edie, yeah," he finally admits.
"There we go," Pablo mutters then lets out a heavy sigh.
It seems like Edie has been holding her breath the whole time when the truth finally out, her shoulders slumped as anxiety exits her body.
"I'm sorry, I did want to tell you guys, sorry," She says to everyone.
"The kiss has cost the group $3,000," Lana further informs.
Hyunjin thought he was the only one struggling to resist temptations but these rule-breakers have proven that he's not that bad after all.
-
HYUNJIN: Damn! I'm missing all the fun here [chuckles]
-
You keep teasing Vic for secretly having a kiss with Edouard and not telling you about it, she keeps giggling as you ask for details from her in whispers.
You can tolerate Vic and Edouard's rulebreak because you know how much Vic fancies him and it's great that Edouard fancies her back. Meanwhile, Andy and Edie's rule break, there's Edie in the equation so it's bound to happen but that'll be it, right? Because people would have said something by now if they did something.
Right?
"That is not all," Lana shockingly reveals.
Oh, you and your mouth. Honestly, though, what can you expect from these people who spent 20k when the retreat had hardly begun?
"There was one more breach of the rules," Lana informs.
You look from side to side, observing the people you're sharing the sofa with and then you see Frida fidgeting next to you.
"Shit," she lowly mutters to herself.
Diego and Frida are just too horny for each other so that's a given, but you're going to give them the chance to own up to their mistake.
"Just come clean and we'll keep our trust in you," Marie says to make anyone confess to their rulebreak.
Frida lets out an annoyed sigh then turns at Diego, "We should tell them!"
It annoys you too that Diego chooses to stay silent the whole time only to prolong the process not only for himself but also for everyone here.
Vic gently taps Frida's knee and asks, "Just a kiss?"
Frida sighs again and then meekly answers, "Two kisses."
But it annoys you still that Diego hasn't said anything but keeps his mouth shut while Frida is taking all the blame herself.
"Diego, say something!" You urge him.
Diego puts on a stupid grin and innocently says, "Surprise!"
Now, you wish he would keep his mouth shut, you roll your eyes at him and get more upset than before.
"These multiple kisses have cost the group $6,000."
One, or two kisses are acceptable but once everyone finds out how much a kiss costs, they're not sure if those kisses were worth it.
"That was expensive," you grumble out of reflex.
"What's done is done, guys," Diego coyly says, taking these rule breaks lightly like it didn't get everyone penalized for it.
"The prize fund now stands at $168,000," Lana comes up with the final bill at the end.
At this rate, you're not optimistic about having any money left at the end of the retreat.
"With 50% of you having already broken the rules, you have left me with no choice. From this point forward, all fines will be doubled," Lana comes with another shocking announcement like it isn't hard enough to accept today's financial loss.
"That's just great," Pablo sarcastically comments.
"Goodbye," Lana concludes with a grim goodbye.
-
YOU: It was hard to resist temptations, as I did with Hyunjin but what's the point if people are going to act like this?
-
Is it possible to get a boner from holding hands? Hyunjin thinks it's possible because he's close to having one as the two of you walk to the beach hand-in-hand, and you're swinging it back and forth as you go.
"I'm a bit nervous," you mutter to him.
"Why?"
"I don't know," you innocently reply with a giggle.
It's just a workshop and you shouldn't be nervous but he doesn't mind seeing you being this cute when you're nervous. Arrived at the beach, everyone gets greeted by a lady who he assumes is going to be one leading the workshop.
"Welcome to your first workshop in the retreat," she says to everyone.
The staff tells everyone to pair up and take places on the platforms provided for everyone. Obviously, Hyunjin is paired up with you because he wouldn't have it any other way.
"Hello, I'm Jax and I'm a relationship expert," she introduces herself with a courteous smile.
Everyone gives her a round of applause to warmly welcome her.
"It is obvious that everybody here has a lot of sexual energy and that is preventing you from achieving meaningful connections so what I'm going to teach in this workshop is new ways to channel that energy," she explains what's the aim of today's workshop.
Hyunjin notices the bowls of paint on the side of the platform and guesses that the workshop has something to do with them.
"So the goal right now, instead of doing what you might usually do and look for that physical release, you are going to grab the paint and transfer all of that sexual power and make a piece of art like you've never made before," Jax further explains.
"You'll notice that you're standing on blank canvases and your bodies are the brushes. Are you ready?"
"Yes!" Everyone replies in unison.
Jax senses everyone's excitement and smiles, "Alright. Let's do it!"
Hyunjin brings the bowls of paint over to the middle of the big canvas you both standing on and sitting there, can't decide what to do first.
"What color do you want?" He asks you.
"Uhm... pink?" You randomly choose out of the three different colors.
He picks it up and before he dips his fingers in them, an idea crosses his mind, "Lay down for me," he tells you.
You obey him without complaint but first, you have your hair tied into a high bun to not letting the paint all over it. You carefully lay yourself down and immediately shield your eyes from the bright sun with your hand, "What are you going to do?"
Before answering, Hyunjin sits next to you with a bowl of paint in one hand, "I'm going to do this," he says, rubbing the paint on the tip of your nose.
You scrunch your nose in reaction and playfully laugh, it seems that it works to help you loosen up.
"I'm going to draw the outline of your body," he finally tells you his plan.
"Okay," you say in approval.
Using his big hands, Hyunjin diligently works his drawing of the outline of your body on the canvas, intentionally nudging some parts of your body while doing it but what he anticipates the most is drawing the space between your legs.
"Can you pass me the blue, beautiful?" He sweetly asks since the paint is only an arm's length away from you.
You glance to the side and drag the bowl with your fingers until it's close enough for him to reach.
He scoops the blue paint with his hand and slowly draws the outline of your legs, he maintains eye contact with you as his hand climbs up the side of your legs. He can see that you're slightly arching your back as the back of his hand brushes the skin of your inner thigh and you raise your knee as his hand is inches away from that thing between your legs.
Then he abruptly stops and quickly retracts his hand from you, instantly depriving you of his touch. He hears your low, disappointed sigh and smiles in satisfaction at that, he decides to hover above you, shielding you from the sun with his body.
"Let's spice things up a little, yeah?" He murmurs with his face only inches away from yours and you're looking at him with wide, open eyes.
Before you can think of a response, Hyunjin lathers the remaining paint on his hand onto your chest. You gasp as the sticky texture of the paint makes contact with your skin then he drags it down to your abdomen.
He has to hold the urge to drag his hand further down and stop as his hand meets the straps of your bikini bottom, tugging at it before dragging his hand up your side.
"I'm not the canvas here," you remind him.
Oh, but your body is a canvas to him and he wants to paint you with his kisses, his touches, his bites, his marks, and his—
Splat! You unknowingly splash yellow paint onto his abs and laugh from successfully catching him off guard. He immediately catches your hand and puts it on his stomach, making you smear the paint with your hand around his toned abs.
"Guys, less on the body, more on the canvas!" Jax shouts, getting everyone back on track with the true purpose of the workshop.
"It's my turn on the top," you say to him with a sly smile on your face.
-
HYUNJIN: This is my chance to keep her focus on me. Also, this is a great excuse to get physical [smirks]
-
"Your partner is here to get your sexual energy up as high as possible before you can apply that energy to the canvas," Jax informs while she walks around to check on everyone's work.
But does everyone need the encouragement though? Because it seems like they know what they're doing, using this workshop as an excuse to get physical with their partners. You start to doubt if this is what Jax wants to see, the painting is nowhere close to being called an artwork but the tension keeps building and everyone is only getting hornier and hornier by the second.
And you're about to have your part of the fun as it's Hyunjin's turn to lie down on the canvas.
"Do we have more paints?" You ask while crawling around to find them.
Hyunjin props his elbows against the canvas, helping you to look for them, "I think it's on..."
As he turns to the side to check if you have found them, your crawl back and your asscheek bumps into his head, sending him collapsing onto the canvas.
You immediately turn around and reflexively apologize, "Oh, I'm sorry."
But Hyunjin looks rather enjoying the little incident as he's laughing with his hand on his chest, "No problem at all."
You gather all the bowls of paint close to you and begin to do the outline of Hyunjin's body with the red paint, you start from the bottom since it's going to take more effort to draw his long legs.
Once you're done with that, you decide to tease him by putting your whole weight to sit right on his crotch, making him groan in response.
"You did that on purpose," he says as he looks up at you.
You slyly smile and coyly respond, "You're pretending like that's a problem."
You continue by outlining his upper half body while straddling him while he gets to enjoy seeing you on top of him.
"What are you drawing now?" He curiously asks.
"I'm drawing a crown on top of your head," you answer while keeping your focus on the task at hand.
While you're busy drawing on the canvas, Hyunjin dips his fingers into a bowl of paint to draw on you. He goes for your neck, making small drawings on it with his index finger.
"Are you giving me a neck tattoo?" You ask as you pick different colors of paint for the drawing.
He then makes another small drawing on your chest and finally answers to your question, "Just marking places where I'm going to kiss you later."
That makes you stop for a second and glares at him as he makes another drawing, a little star on your inner thigh which makes you think of his lips getting on that very skin he draws on and it sends a tingle down your spine.
After spending too much time working on him, you get off him and let him inspect your work. He looks at you and places a hand on your back.
"You're quite the artist, babe," he praises with a smile on his face.
One praise is enough to make your cheeks heat and you tend to say stupid things in a situation like this so you only respond with a smile and immediately think of something to avert your attention to before it gets too hot in here, literally and figuratively.
"I think we should start filling the empty spaces," you suggest.
At first, you both go on your way to draw the empty corners of the canvas until he comes over to you, gets behind you, and puts his hands on yours. He puts all of your hands into two different bowls of paint at once and then draws on the canvas together with him.
It makes your brain short-circuit for a while as you can't decide which to put your focus on, on the drawing or how his body molds against yours.
"Let all your sexual energy out..." Jax continuously encourages everyone and notices she's coming over in your direction.
When you think she's going to call you out for not going through the proper way of the workshop, she likes what she's seeing instead.
"Yes, there we go, that's what I want to see!" Jax says.
With that being said, you feel more encouraged to do it and let Hyunjin draw while using your hands as the brushes. He puts your hands in the bowls of paint again and he lathers more paint up your wrists all the while his head is resting on your shoulder.
"Mmh..." you lowly whine as he slips his fingers into you inside the bowls of paint.
The half smirk appears on his face and he takes you to the other side of the canvas, working on it with the same position of him guiding you from the back.
You can hear his constant heavy breathing with the way his head lies so close to yours, but it's the whispers of the praises into your ear that get you flustered.
"Oh, I like that."
"You're doing a good job."
"Oh, that's nice."
"Keep going."
"You're so good with your hands."
The embarrassing part is how you are unable to properly respond to his sweet praises, all your brain can compute the whole time are these incoherent words and mumbles.
"Yeah."
"Mmh."
"Uh-huh."
And also, the occasional low moans that slipped out of your mouth which you believe he heard every single one of it.
By the time the workshop is finished, you can't decide whether you should feel relieved or disappointed that it's over. You doubt it at first but the whole process works on giving you the release you need that you and Hyunjin collapse onto the canvas, tired and out of breath.
"Give yourself a round of applause 'cause you guys did it!" Jax says, giving everyone a round of applause for the hard work.
At the end of the workshop, Jax makes everyone pick up their canvases to show their works for everyone else to admire. Hyunjin puts his hand on the small of your back as the two of you look at your painting while standing next to each other.
You can see yourself and him, the burst of colors, and it may be not a piece of artwork but it is beautiful to you, special even because you and Hyunjin made it.
"What do you think?" He asks.
You take the hand resting on your back, using it to pull him closer to you, "I think we did a good job!"
He smiles and pulls you into a hug, it feels nice and comfortable despite the paint that tainted both of your bodies. He pulls away just enough to look at you and softly says, "Thank you for making this masterpiece with me."
Physical things aside, he made you feel so involved and appreciated, and that shows a lot about his true personality. In other words, you like him a little bit more today.
-
YOU: I am quite convinced that Hyunjin only has eyes for me and that makes him way more attractive than the rest of the boys here.
-
If there's something Hyunjin can take from this workshop is that the sexual tension between you and him is out of this world. There's no other reason for it because all he can think about is how your body felt against him and how beautiful the noises you made when that happened.
Good thing he still has some self-control in him or else... he doesn't even want to think of the other possibilities. But tonight, he wants to try and explore the other possibilities and see if you're up for it.
He patiently waits for you, checking the dressing room once in a while to see if you're done getting ready. He sees an opportunity as you check yourself in the mirror and with a drink ready in his hand, he comes up to you.
"Get you a drink," he says.
You turn to the side and smile, taking the glass of wine from his hand, "Thank you."
You take a small sip while fixing your hair in front of the mirror and Hyunjin takes a stand next to you to get his reflection in the mirror.
"We're kind of matching," you point out.
He doesn't even notice the colors of your clothes because his eyes are busy lusting over your body, only noticing that the tight pants you're wearing match the colors of his shirts.
"Oh, yes, we are," he says, grinning as he likes what he's seeing in the mirror.
Then he remembers his plan for tonight, he places his hand on your back and asks, "Are you done?"
"Uh-huh," you say as your mouth is full of wine.
"Can you come with me?"
"Sure."
The bedroom is empty just like he checked a moment ago and he takes you there because getting you alone is the first thing to do to execute his plan.
He goes to your shared bed, getting on it while you sit on the end of the bed, quietly sipping your wine while he gets to look at you as much as he wants.
He likes your frilly white top as it exposes your beautiful shoulders but what he likes the most is how you don't wear a bra underneath, he can see your nipples subtly poking through the fabric.
"You look good in everything you wear," he sweetly compliments because it's the second thing to do on his plan.
You smile as you take another sip of your wine, half-heartedly taking his compliment and he gets it that you get used to guys complimenting you like this.
"You can pull anything off," he compliments again.
You lick your lower lips after taking a sip and ask, "How about nothing?"
His brain can easily picture you naked in a second and he gets so overwhelmed by it that he lets out an overwhelmed sigh, not hesitate to let you hear it.
"Oof..." he's shaking his head and props his hand against the mattress to lean close to you.
"You absolutely can pull that off too," he adds with a sly smile.
-
HYUNJIN: No one is going to stop me tonight [smirks]
-
How Hyunjin ends up lying between your legs is a mystery but it makes you a little nervous at how his head hanging low so close to where you want him.
He rests his cheek against your inner thigh and fiercely gazing into your eyes, "My god! You make me want to misbehave," he says with a sultry voice.
The glass of wine you have drained is not enough to calm you, it makes you feel a little lightheaded instead, especially seeing Hyunjin run his hand up and down your thigh.
He leans in and you can feel his breath on your exposed midriff, it feels hot on your skin. You feel the need to put on a space so you prop your elbow against the bed only to send his head close to your chest.
"Oh, my God," he mutters with a heavy sigh as his eyes shot at your breasts.
You only put yourself more in the situation but seeing Hyunjin up close like this, oh, he's just so beautiful that you hesitate to touch him. You put away the hair falling over his face and put it away, then gently cup his jaw in your hand.
He looks up at you with his eyes that shine for you, "You're fucking irresistible," he says with his voice dropping lower than before.
There's nothing arouses you more than a guy who openly shares how much he wants you and it stresses you so much that you can't do anything about it.
Without warning, he crawls over and forces you to lie back on the bed as he hovers above you, his hand lifting your leg and hooking it around his waist.
It's getting harder to breathe with how much you're holding yourself back, you suddenly get so hot all over and you look away like it would help you regain your senses.
"I'm so horny," you shamelessly admit.
You hear him lowly laughing then feel his hand grabbing your chin, turning your head at him again. He leans in for a kiss but you're quick to dodge away from it.
"Stop..." you mewl, covering his mouth with your hand.
Hyunjin knows you both want it and that doesn't stop him from going for another try. He keeps touching your exposed skin, lightly with just his fingertips and it's only about time until you fold again.
He places a soft peck on your cheek and mutters, "We can put Lana in the cupboard for a few minutes."
You take a long, deep breath but it's not helping you to calm down, if anything, it only heightens the tension in the room.
"We don't have to think about the rules now. We can think about it tomorrow," he persuades you.
His words are just so sweet and you can easily eat those up.
"We can think about it when it's time," he murmurs as he squeezes the flesh on your waist.
And he just keeps getting sexier and sexier by the second, you can't hold on for too long.
The next thing you know, you grab the nape of his neck and pull him for a kiss. You can tell how much he wants it from how hard and how deep he kisses you, apart from that, he knows how to use his tongue and to bite your lip in between the kiss to spice things up.
Your eyes stay closed even after a moment the kiss ends and find his eyes looking at you, but the first thing you notice is how your lipstick got all over his mouth.
"Oh, no..." you gasp, hurriedly wiping it off his lips.
It's best to wipe the evidence clean to keep this rule break under wraps and not risk becoming everyone's enemy.
"How about my face?" You ask him.
His eyes are looking nowhere but your lips, "You got a little something..." he says, swiping his thumb across your lips only to plant his lips on you again.
Hyunjin is good, he is so good that you don't have anything in you to resist him anymore.
"Oh..." A moan slips out of you as he parts your mouth open only to deepen the kiss.
Fuck it! You can worry about the money tomorrow but now, you're going to enjoy every bit of his kiss, letting yourself so immersed in it that you lost track of time and when he finally let go, you're gasping for air.
"That was really good," you breathlessly tell him.
"That's because you're a good kisser," he coyly says as he gently wipes your lips with his thumb.
"So are you," you whisper back.
The sound of footsteps in the hallway sent Hyunjin collapsing to the side of the bed and gasping in surprise.
"Fuck..." he sighs while running his hand through his hair.
You hurriedly get away from him and sit cross-legged on the bed, finding something to do to make it less suspicious. You end up holding your empty glass with both hands while looking in the direction of the door, anticipating whoever it is about to come into the room.
When the door opens, you put on a calm face and keep yourself busy by playing with your hair, brushing the end with your fingers.
It turns out to be Edie and Andy, they seem to be surprised to see you there too.
"Hey," Edie says, "What are you guys up to?"
Hyunjin is squeezing the cushion on his chest, "We're just chatting," he calmly answers.
It's impressive how Hyunjin can lie in such ease like that but at the same, you feel a bit alarmed by it.
Andy dives headfirst into the bed while Edie sits on the sofa bench in the middle of the room, crossing her legs by the ankle.
"Awesome," Edie responds.
"Pablo is going around telling everyone to not break the rules tonight," Andy says, his blonde hair is swept to the side and makes him look dapper.
"Yeah?" You ask while trying to sound casual.
You wish you still had some wine left in your glass to drink but it's empty and you slightly feel nervous, afraid that either Edie or Andy will get suspicious of you.
Hyunjin drops his hand on your knee, his thumb making lazy circles on it as a way to comfort you.
Edie smacks her lips together after taking a sip of her drink, "Yes and that's why we came here," she answers.
Andy rolls over and rests his back against the headboard of the bed, "How are you guys doing?" He suddenly asks.
Hyunjin lets out a low chuckle and turns his head at you, making you answer this one for both of you.
"So far so good," you manage to sound casual this time.
"Don't worry! We got this under control," Hyunjin adds with a convincing smile.
All of a sudden, Edie throws herself onto your bed and squeezes herself between you and Hyunjin. She glances at you and then at Hyunjin, your heart is beating so fast thinking that she caught on to your lies until she whispers.
"Guys, I have some gossip to tell you!"
You and Hyunjin exchange a quick look with each other knowing that none of them suspect anything and with that, you can let out a sigh of relief.
-
YOU: Well, [sighs] Hyunjin is just too irresistible, I— I just couldn't help it.
-
Hyunjin has broken the rules twice now and the fact that neither Edie nor Andy suspects anything only makes him think of how easy it is to break the rules.
Now he knows how sweet that forbidden fruit is, he feels like having another bite.
While everyone else is already tucked into the beds, Hyunjin goes to the dressing room knowing that you're there. He finds you standing by your closet and taking out your clothes. Even with your face already bare and your hair tied into a messy bun, you look just as attractive.
Planning to surprise you, Hyunjin quietly gets behind you and hoists you against his body, taking you with him to the small space wedged between the two huge closets.
"What are you doing?" You ask half giggling.
He turns you around and pushes you to the wall, pining you with his body.
"I'm about to kiss you," he says, leaning in for a kiss.
You look the other way, mewling in disapproval and a while later, look at him to say, "We can't break more rules."
Hyunjin takes your hands and puts them around his shoulders as he closes the gap between your bodies, impossibly close he can feel your chest heaving against him.
"Hyunjin..." you mewl again as he leans in again but he lets his lips land on your neck, trying to tease you another way.
The way you grip the nape of his neck and lowly whimper as he nibbles on your ear, Hyunjin can tell that it's working so he slowly drags his lips up the column of your neck.
To make sure you're not avoiding his kiss again, he gently holds your chin and plants his lips on yours. He takes his time, kissing you slowly yet deeply while feeling your body against him.
A moment later, you break the kiss with a gasp and then bury your head in his neck.
"Everyone is going to be so mad at us," you mumble.
Hyunjin doesn't even think about anything else at this moment, all he can think about is you and your body, and how he wants to ruin you in so many ways.
"We can stop," he says but his hand glides up to your chest and his fingers lightly trace your nipple against the fabric, making it hard for you to say no to him.
He intensely stares at you and waits if you're going to say anything to stop him from doing anything but he gets nothing but the same lustful eyes from you.
He pulls the strap of your top down your shoulder, sending your breast spilling out of it and he quickly takes it into his mouth. As he sucks on it, you let out a breathless whimper with your nails dug into his shoulder. Feeling mischievous, he takes more of the flesh and sucks harder, making you yelp in pain.
"Oh, fu—" You can barely finish your word. You hurriedly plant your mouth on his neck to keep yourself quiet.
Hyunjin knows he can't leave a mark so he stops himself from doing it, slowly pulling away while looking up at you with a string of saliva connecting his lips with your nipple.
Not letting the camera catch you half-naked, he immediately fixes your top for you while blocking you with his body.
He presses his mouth to your ear and softly whispers, "You're so fucking sweet."
You look down and shyly giggle in response.
Something about you being shy that makes him want to ruin you more, makes him bolder by the minute that he doesn't hesitate anymore to crash his lips against yours and kisses you harder.
-
HYUNJIN: This kiss is worth every penny and every amount of shit that I'm about to get [grins]
-
If breathing wasn't necessary, you believe Hyunjin wouldn't stop kissing you.
He reluctantly breaks the kiss with a low groan and then buries his head in your neck, putting all of his weight against you.
You steadily hold him and put your hand in his silky locks of hair, scratching at his head with your fingertips. If it weren't for the other people, you would have stayed in there and probably continued the make-out session. However, you're aware that the longer you two are absent from the bedroom, the more suspicious they'll get.
Before he gets to do anything else, you put your hands on his chest and slowly push him away from you.
"It's getting late," you murmur at him.
As he reacts with a pout at you, you place a kiss on his cheek to console him and a quick ruffle on his hair. He slips his arms around you to hug you one more time to finally obey you.
It's a little nerve-wracking to walk back into the bedroom together, you try to act normal and try not to make any eye contact with anyone in the room as you walk to your bed.
You look at Hyunjin and he looks calm as if he didn't just kiss the life out of you back in the dressing room. He throws the decorative pillows onto the floor and pulls the duvet now, climbing onto his side of the bed.
It puts you at ease that no one is suspecting anything or that's what you see as they're busy chatting with their respective bed partners. You can't tell if you should consider it as luck because you slightly fear that Hyunjin is going to get bolder now, especially once the lights are out.
"Goodnight everyone," Edie sweetly says in the dark.
You look over your shoulder to the bed next to yours, "Night, Edie."
She outstretches her hand at you and you grab at it, "Night, sexy babe," she says back at you.
You pull the duvet to cover your legs and when you rest your head, Hyunjin's arm is already there, offering it as your pillow. He pulls you close once you lay down and kisses your neck.
"Mmh... so tired," he hums.
You slip your hand into the gaping hole on his sleeveless top and rest it on his back, "What have you been doing all night, mmh?" You poke fun at him.
He chuckles hearing your question and plants a kiss on your bare shoulder. You cautiously track his hand movement as it's dangerously going down your spine.
"Want to kiss you again," he whispers into your ear.
Your guess turned out to be right so you prepare yourself to anticipate his next move, but there's not much you can do with how tightly he holds you.
The second he leans in, you hurriedly tilt your head down so that his lips land on your eyebrow and you laugh at how he failed to kiss you.
"Oh, what did I kiss?" He asks in pure confusion.
"That's my eyebrow," you answer while still laughing.
He retracts his hand from your back and places it on the nape of your neck to keep your head steady as he leans in again and he goes on a kiss rampant all over your face.
You're quick to cover your lips with your hand but once he realizes you have your hand blocking his lips from kissing yours, he continues to ferociously kiss you.
Hyunjin eventually gives up but keeps you close to him, putting a safe space between your bodies but resting his hand on your waist to not let you get away from him.
Your hand returns to his back again, caressing his warm skin with the back of your hand, and doing it helps you calm down.
Sensing that he's getting drowsy too, you place a sweet kiss on his cheek and say, "Goodnight."
Even in a dark room, you can see him smiling at you as he says it back to you with a gentle squeeze on your waist and it feels nice.
-
YOU: I feel bad that we broke the rules but it was for a good cause.
-
The first thing Hyunjin does when he wakes up is put his arm around you and nuzzle his head in your neck.
"Morning," you mumble to him while putting his hair away from covering his face.
"I had such a good sleep," he murmurs to you.
"Did you?" You say with a sly smile.
After those kisses, you realize that you're not just physically attracted to him, you genuinely like him and it only convinces you to keep building this connection with him.
"Good morning!" Andy shouts into the room and you don't know where he gets that burst of energy this early in the day.
You look at Edie who's slightly disoriented and coo at her, "Morning, Edie baby!"
She pouts and runs her hand through her messy blond hair and twists it in her hand before securing it with a hair claw.
"I heard giggles last night," she says to you.
"From here?"
"Yeah," she answers.
"I feel like you guys broke the rules yesterday," Frida accused you two out of the blue.
 Somehow, you manage to calmly respond to her, "No, we didn't."
Hyunjin lifts his head to look at Frida and backs you up, "We did not."
You bravely look at Frida in the eyes to convince her as you add, "Just cuddling all night."
What you said seems to assure the group for now, but you know that people are starting to get suspicious of the two of you. In defense, you didn't lie, you're just withholding the truth,
-
YOU: I'm not lying, I'm just... withholding the truth [shrugs]
-
To say that you're jealous of Vic and Edouard getting a date tonight from Lana would be an understatement.
However, you're more scared of the reason why you don't get a date with Hyunjin. Lana sees everything and she knows that you break rules, in fact, she's going to expose you for it sooner or later.
You're on your second glass of wine when the call to the cabana comes and frantically searches for Hyunjin since he's the other person who knew about the rule breaks. You reunite with him on the way to the cabana and he probably knows how nervous you are from how cold your hand is as he holds it.
Like it isn't obvious enough, you tell it to him once you're both seated on the sofa, "I'm nervous."
"I know," he calmly says.
You don't know how much money you and Hyunjin spent but you know for sure that everyone is going to hate you for it.
Lana chimes and you feel like your heart just dropped to your stomach.
"In order to incentivize you to follow the rules, yesterday I doubled the fines and organized a workshop to help re-channel your sexual energy in healthy and creative ways."
It's not a good thing when Lana skips the greeting and goes straight into business, you understand why and you feel faint the closer you get to the truth.
"It seems these measures failed on every level."
"What did she say?" Marie asks.
Everyone else stays quiet as they still processing Lana's words and a moment later, the whodunit game begins. The first one to get accused of doing this is the couple who just came back from the date.
"Swear to God, we didn't do anything," Edouard immediately cleared himself and Vic from any accusations.
Andy has a bad poker face and gives himself away for everyone to see, he has no other option but to admit it right away.
"Yeah, we kissed."
"We had some time alone and we kissed, all right?" Edie explains.
"So that justifies it?" Pablo asks with a disapproving look.
"It doesn't justify it," Edie agrees with him.
"We had to go all day without knowing anything," Pablo says.
Seeing everyone's reaction to Edie and Andy's rule break only makes you anxious about what's coming to you.
"This kiss has cost the group $6,000," Lana announces the new price for a kiss.
-
YOU: I don't want to deal with everything they're dealing with right now.
-
Hyunjin does a calculation in his head. He can't even remember how many times he kisses you but if a kiss costs $6,000, the sum of what he did last night is going to be so expensive.
"That's expensive," Vic comments.
Everyone is going to know how expensive it will get when they find out how much he spent last night. He sure as hell knows there was more than one kiss.
"However, this was not the only breach of the rules," Lana continues.
Hyunjin gulps air because he knows his time has come. He gives everyone the time to prepare themselves for the truth. He looks to the side and sees you're fidgeting, he knows he can't stall it anymore.
It's time, he grits his teeth and does it, "Okay guys, listen, the first time we kissed—"
"Wait, what? The first– you kissed more than once?" Frida aggressively attacks him for it.
Shit! He shouldn't have said that, but he doesn't expect anyone to notice it either. Things are not going well with everyone going hostile on you and him all at once.
"Did you guys do something else?" Vic asks.
That's not the question Hyunjin needs right now, he gulps air again but it feels like he's trying to dry swallow a big pill.
"Look, it's—"
"Oh, my God!" Frida disappointingly says.
"What is it? What did you do?" Vic asks.
"Just touching, there was fondle... I-I don't know," you stammer while trying to explain.
"Are you serious?" Marie hysterically says.
The more he tries to explain, the worse it gets so he gives up on saying anything but waits for Lana to see where it goes.
"These rule breaks have cost the group an additional $30,000," Lana announces.
Everyone reacts in the same disappointing tone of groans and moans.
"The prize fund now stands at $132,000."
Hyunjin doesn't expect it's going to be that expensive, oh well, now he sees the consequences of his actions and is ready to accept his punishment.
"I'm sorry, guys," you apologize to everyone.
"Me too. I'm sorry," he adds with all sincerity.
"We've lost almost half of the money and it hasn't been a week," Marie scolds.
He sees it now that you're both walking on the fine edge and everyone's trust is on the line. It gets worse as Lana calls both of your names.
"Although you are displaying early signs of a deeper bond, you are spending too much energy concentrating on a physical connection rather than an emotional one."
Lana sounds mad and that's not good, Hyunjin can only hope that she doesn't kick him out this early on the retreat.
"And as you have cost the group the most money, I am setting you an additional test."
Test? When it comes to Lana's test, Hyunjin can only think of one thing and it can't be it, right?
"You will spend the night in the suite."
One thing for sure is he's relieved to not get kicked out of the retreat and for the rest... he's not sure he's going to do well on the test.
"This is your chance to show the group that your connection is more than just physical," Lana says.
Looking at everyone's doubtful look at him, Hyunjin feels the need to say something to them.
"If resisting is going to earn your trust back then I'll do it," he remarks.
Pablo sneers and says, "You lied to us. Your words don't mean until you prove it."
Ouch, that offends him but it gives him just the right motivation to prove them wrong.
"You may now leave," Lana orders.
He gets up first and offers his hand to help you, holding your hand as he exits the cabana to go to the private suite.
-
HYUNJIN: We have to earn everyone's trust back. The problem is, I have no self-control.
-
The private suite is the small guest house located not far from the main villa.
Once you get inside, you can see that the interior isn't that much different either, it's cozy and spacious. What gets your attention is how the staff decorated the room with scented candles lined up on one side of the wall, and rose petals scattered on the bed.
"What do we have here?" Hyunjin says, scanning the room for interesting things.
"Champagne, roses..." he goes to the side of the bed and picks up a furry handcuff.
"Sex toys, condoms, lubricant, oils oh..." he groans as he lists everything he finds on the bedside table.
You walk up to the bed and sit on the end of the bed, chuckling at Hyunjin's expression as he explores the tray full of various sex toys.
"You just want to make trouble, huh Lana? You want to see shit go down," you loudly shout, knowing that Lana is watching everything.
As Hyunjin walks up to you, you hold out your leg at him and rub his shin with your foot.
"Take my shoes for me, please?" You sweetly ask.
"With pleasure," he says, squatting on the floor to do what you ask. He patiently unties the laces of your heeled sandals and takes them off of you.
As he gets up from the floor, he keeps holding your legs by the ankle and lifts them, sending you lying down on the bed. He stands by the edge of the bed and holds your legs close to his chest, he runs his hands up and down the side of your legs while looking down at you.
"Is this how we're going to do it?" You playfully ask.
"Oh, you don't know what's coming for you," he seductively says, parting your legs open then puts himself in between.
There's no denying that Hyunjin is beautiful but it's only now that you have the chance to take a good look at him. You notice his shiny dark hair which he tied into a messy bun, the necklace dangling around his neck, the muscles on his arms and the veins coiling around them, and a pair of big hands with rings adorning his long fingers.
You like his hands more when they're on you but they're now propped against the bed as he hovers above you and you're about to crumble under his lustful gaze.
"The bed is perfect," you try to talk about something else entirely.
"When the lights go out it'd be like this," Hyunjin starts bouncing himself on the bed and sending the bed quaking.
He eventually stops and has you pinned under him again, burying his head in your neck, and attacking you with ferocious little kisses.
You would be lying if you said it does nothing to you, it makes the butterflies fly around in your stomach.
It doesn't take long for his kisses to turn harder, deeper and he begins to move his hand around your body. You badly want to keep him going but you know better you should do the opposite.
"At least pretend like you have some self-control," you mutter to him.
He abruptly stops moving and lightly chuckles, he pulls away to look at you, "Yeah, we're better than that."
He puts himself on top of you again, letting you hold him close and play with his hair. A moment later, he gets up while unbuttoning his shirt with one hand, completely unaware of how attractive he is for doing that.
"I'll get the bath ready," he says.
"Okay."
-
YOU: I don't think I can hold back. I want to be bad, so bad [Smirks]
-
Hyunjin dips his hand into the water to check the temperature, making sure it's not too hot or cold. Getting the temperature just right, he turns the faucet to stop the hot water and walks out of the bathroom.
"The bath is ready," he announces, finding you drinking a glass of white wine on the bed.
You nod and drain your glass, putting the empty glass away to start unbuttoning your blouse.
"What are you doing?" He asks.
"Taking my clothes off," you innocently answer, taking your blouse off and setting it aside.
He thought that you would go to the bathroom first to do that, not that he minded it but seeing you taking your clothes off on the bed makes his mind go wild, all sorts of lewd thoughts rushing through his head as you sit on the bed while hugging yourself with both arms to cover your breasts.
"Do you mind helping me with my skirt?" You ask for another while unzipping the skirt.
He didn't realize he'd been staring at you and quickly getting ahold of himself, "Yes, sure."
The skirt is a little tight and tugging around your hips, he has to use his strength to take it off. You lift your hips so he can easily pull it down, revealing the black lacy underwear you're wearing underneath.
The sight of your naked body splayed on the bed makes him salivate and it stresses him out that he's not able to do anything about it. He keeps licking his lips as his throat gets dry the more he thinks about touching you.
You get off the bed and go to the bathroom with both hands crossed in front of your chest, "Come on, the water is getting cold," you remind him.
Hyunjin brings the bottle of champagne and the bowl of strawberries to the bathroom, putting them on the side of the tub. He hands you your glass so he can fill it with the white wine.
"Thank you, baby," you mutter and have a sip of wine.
He puts the bottle down and leans down with his hands gripping the edge of the tub, leaving only a few inches of space between your faces.
"Let me see..." he says, taking a moment to look at you.
He doesn't fill the water high enough to get to your chest and he can see your breasts, wet and moist from the scented water. He so badly wants to cup them and see how they fit perfectly in his hands.
His eyes travel back up and looks at your face, sighing in delight as he finds you smiling at him. He allows himself to lean in and kiss your neck, a kiss on the column of your neck and another one on the skin behind your ear.
"You're so beautiful," he praises you.
You lean forward to softly place a kiss on his inner arm, "Get in, quick, don't make me wait," you tell him.
It's not hard to be confident when he has all of your attention on him, he knows he has to make it a good show for his special audience.
He maintains eye contact with you as he unbuckles his belt, he swiftly unzips his fly and tugs his fingers into both his jeans and boxers, planning to take them all off at once, exposing himself to you.
He catches the wild glints in your eyes and the way you swallow air as your eyes dart to the thing between his legs, knowing that being in this room with you is enough to cause him a semi-hard.
"Oh, man," you say to yourself, finishing your wine in one long sip as if the sight of him makes you thirsty.
That gives him a boost of confidence, he carefully gets into the tub and lowers himself down, letting the water engulf him in warmth and floral scents.
He gropes around underwater for your feet and puts them on his chest, playing with them as he looks at you from the other end of the tub.
"I'm down to whatever you want to do," he says to you.
You hold your hand out at him, "Do we have a deal then?"
He gladly grabs your hand and shakes it, "Deal!"
To seal the deal, you both clink your champagne flutes together for a toast and have a sip.
"I want to sit on your lap," you tell him.
"Do what you want," he says with such ease, ignoring that the proximity is not going to do him good.
You're slowly making your way to him, not wanting to send the water sloshing out of the tub and sit on his lap like you wanted.
The sudden rise in the temperature is not from the bathwater, it's from the tension that keeps building between you and him.
"How am I not dying right now?" He sighs, looking up at you with your hands around his shoulders.
You lean in until your nose meets his in the middle, "Why is that so?"
He's his hands on each side of your waist and resisting to go lower than that, then sighs again, "Because you're so fucking hot."
You crack a laugh and put the hair escaping your messy bun, you notice the bowl of strawberries on the side of the tub, reaching for it.
"I want one," he requests.
You pick one and feed it to him but he tugs it between his teeth, gesturing you to take a bite of it. You slyly smile then lean in, taking a bite of the strawberry and cautiously doing it to not make contact with his lips.
Hyunjin shoves the rest that you can't bite into his mouth and chews on it, he spots the chocolate dips inside the bowl of strawberries.
"Dip it into the chocolate next," he orders.
Even though you're still chewing, you reach for the bowl and pick a strawberry, dipping it into the melted chocolate like he asked.
You immediately bring it into his mouth, not risking the chocolate to drip into the tub and he hurriedly opens his mouth for you.
The bathtub is safe from chocolate but it gets all over his chin, you wipe it with your thumb only to smear it all over his mouth.
"You did it on purpose," he teases you, half laughing.
"Licking is not against the rules, right?" You doubtfully ask yet go for it without waiting for the answer.
Your tongue feels hot and slick on his chin, and somehow, it feels way more sexual than a kiss as you land a long lick across his lips, then use your thumb to clean the rest.
"All good now," you inform.
Spotting your fingers coated with chocolate, he takes them into his mouth and gently sucks on them, making you watch him doing it as he looks at you through his lashes.
"More champagne?" You offer.
"Yes, please," he answers, holding your glass for you and his for you to refill.
He initiates another toast, he takes a quick sip so he can watch you drink your wine. You're tilting your head to have a long sip and accidentally sending it dribbling down your chin, then onto your chest.
"You made a mess, baby," he tells you.
"It's your turn to clean it up for me," you playfully dare him.
Feels challenged, he pulls you closer and leans into your chest, not hesitating to lick it clean for you. He gasps when he pulls away and grins in satisfaction, anything that requires him to make physical contact with you is a win for him.
An idea crosses his head and he follows up to that by spilling his wine onto your chest.
"Oops..." he mischievously says with a sly grin.
You put on a sassy eye roll at him and put your hands on his chest, holding him by the neck then without warning, bringing his head to your chest.
Hyunjin is more than glad to be there, drinking and tasting your skin as you pour more wine down your chest. All this drinking won't quench his thirst for he has an endless thirst for you.
The next thing he knows, he's holding you close until your breasts squashed between your chests, nothing in between, skin to skin. This level of intimacy is new to him yet he feels exceptionally at ease.
He places a hot kiss on your neck and brings his mouth close to your ear, "I want to kiss you," he whispers.
You place your forehead against his and sweetly smile, "Let's save it for later, mmh?" You tell him, then softly kiss his nose.
Now all Hyunjin can think about is when he kisses you, it'll taste of strawberry and champagne.
-
HYUNJIN: I don't know if I trust myself right now [shakes head]
-
The slap on your asscheek startles you as you brush your hair in front of the sink.
"Giddy up! Let's get to bed," Hyunjin says, ogling at your ass and tempted to land another slap.
"Just a second," you tell him, patiently brushing the end of your hair before turning around to face him.
You throw your arms around him and he catches you right away, hoisting you against him to take you to bed. You tightly cling to him and put your legs around his waist.
"Oh!" You loudly moan as he throws you on the bed and puts himself on top of you next.
To not put his whole weight on you, he props his elbow against the bed and looks down at you, he plays with the thin strap of your silk camisole, twirling it around his slender finger.
"For fuck's sake! Can you stop looking so sexy?" He says with a heavy and erratic breath.
You watch his hand go down the front of your body, holding your breath when it gets dangerously close to where you want him.
At the same time, you feel like teasing him because it's fun to see him trying not to fold. You open your legs as his hand reaches your abdomen and he stops moving.
"Don't open your legs!" He demands.
You shut them and open them again the next second, spreading them wide, showing off your thin white underwear that barely covers your private part.
"Oh, fuck!" He curses out loud, struggling to not touch you there.
Before his intrusive thought wins, you take his hand and place it around your waist as you lay on your side, facing him to stare at his beautiful face.
You let your hand run down his bare chest, caressing the skin with your knuckle. You badly want to place kisses all over him so you go for it, going for his neck first then his chest next.
Hyunjin lays back on the bed and lets you continue, tracing the outline of his abs with your hand while your lips are busy placing searing kisses across his chest.
"How am I meant to resist?" He sighs as he takes a fistful of your hair in his hand.
You go for his ear, nibbling at it and taking a gentle bite at it, laughing when you see his reaction.
"Oh, I'm fucked," he groans yet with a grin on his face.
Hyunjin hovers above you again, looking at you with eyes wide and dark with desire, almost like a predator about to eat his prey.
You softly scratch the nape of his neck and then both of his ears which you notice are reddening as you play with them.
"I'm only waiting for you to say the word," he murmurs to you.
The word is on the tip of your tongue, it has been since the moment you step into the room and being alone with him. But there's too much at stake, the money and the trust you need to earn back.
Hyunjin is just good at doing that, distracting you with his plush, luscious lips. The long kiss he's planting blurs your judgments and makes you forget what is right and wrong.
The hand resting on your stomach steadily holds you down as he keeps kissing you all over your neck and chest, making you hot all over.
"Just say the word and I'll do it," he whispers to you.
This is such a dilemma. You want to be good but the bad in you keeps wanting to come out and play, especially with Hyunjin on top of you.
"I think it'll be the most expensive suite of the season," you say.
He detaches his lips from your jaw and says, "I'm more than happy to make that happen."
Caught between two choices, you think hard for a moment, considering all the pros and cons of both choices. But how your judgment is going to be fair when Hyunjin starts to go down on you, planting kisses down the front of your body?
He places a long, heavy kiss on your abdomen just right above the waistband of your underwear, then he lifts his head and asks, "How it's going to be, mmh?"
Gosh! How can you resist this sexy man? Even if you can, do you have the will to? You put your hand in his hair and tug at it.
"Let's give Lana something good to watch," you answer with a smirk.
-
YOU: Sorry, Lana but you put me in this situation.
-
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bonny-kookoo · 6 months
Text
Jungkook
𝐇𝐨𝐭 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 🔞 | Oneshot
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"Does he even pay you?"
Tags/Warnings: Idol!Jungkook, fuckboy!Jungkook, friends with benefits situation, major angst, mentions of sex work, smoking, smut, god so much filth, Dom!Jungkook, big dick JK but what's new, did I mention angst?, protected sex, multiple rounds, multiple positions, a brief thighjob, so many feelings
Length: 7k+ words
There is no taglist for this fic. This is a Oneshot.
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"How does it feel to be a celebrity and ending up with me?" You wonder at him over the music, making him frown before he shakes his head, pulling you in by your hands he's holding.
"What're you talking about babe?" He argues softly, letting go of your hands to hold your waist now. "I've got the prettiest girl at my side, in my opinion. Can't complain whatsoever." He tells you into your ear, voice raised a bit and slightly raspy from his last smoking break.
You just shrug, enjoying the music when some people approach you, talking to Jungkook about something you don't listen in on, even though he's still holding you close. It's none of your business, you really don't want to get too involved with his work and everything around it, but it's clear that he likes to do exactly that.
Jungkook wants you around all the time. Doesn't matter if it fits the scene and situation, if he can invite you or bring you along, he will.
Fans don't know your connection to him. They constantly battle it out in comment sections that you're just a translator, nothing else, that you're staff so of course you have to travel alongside him. And just how they can seem to connect everything to dating if it fits their 'ship' they've got inside their minds, they're also talented in finding thousands of (sometimes frankly ridiculous) reasons as to why it cannot possibly be true either.
While before, someone wearing the same jewelry as Jungkook was a confirmation of a relationship, with you its just pure coincidence. You're an adult woman, you can choose whatever necklace or ring you want, that doesn't mean you're dating him. You're wearing the same t-shirt he wore just a day ago? Maybe you just own the same, or he was nice enough to lend it to you for one reason or the other. Seen near his hotel room? Well of course, you're staff!
The truth is, that you're not even staff at all- but you're also not dating him.
Jungkook has become awfully… comfortable in his trust that fans will brush off every rumor floating around. It's why he's shamelessly grabbing your tits from behind right now just for the fun of it, lips kissing your neck as you slap them off to hold your waist instead. "They'll call it AI-generated or something." He laughs, but you can't shake off the feeling of doubt about that. "And there's no one here filming anyways. It's a private VIP zone, so relax baby." He chuckles, swaying you with him to the beat.
He's right that this is a secluded zone- but that's never stopped anything ever before, did it. One random Instagram live where you're both seen in the background and it's over. For both of you.
"Let's go back to the hotel though. I'm horny as fuck." He laughs, making you roll your eyes with red cheeks to go with.
Jungkook is a shameless person- he doesn't see anything wrong with the things he says or does if they're not hurting anybody. He's got his own opinions and he stands by them, only ever shifting his stance if there's undeniable evidence of him being wrong shown to him. And he also enjoys the more physical aspects of love.
Jungkook enjoys sex to its fullest.
He used to sleep around quite often, his charm and also wealth and status enough to make the act of finding someone willing fairly easy. Most wouldn't be believed anyways if they openly said he'd slept with them- he made sure they never took pictures or god forbid videos, and he also never stayed the night, most of the time preferred the security of his own home where he could politely tell them to leave after the deed was done, his reasoning always having to do something with his work.
'I'm sorry, I got called up to the studio.'
'Fuck I forgot I had a flight early morning tomorrow.'
'I'm really sorry, ah this is awkward, but my manager just told me to a live now, and I can't have you being seen.'
You knew he did this. You were staff at some point, after all, even if not hired by his company but rather outsourced during a particularly demanding schedule and many other employees sick due to a viral infection going around in the office building.
You'd been just another victim of his. But somehow, he ended up biting down too hard- making him taste blood, Primal hunger awakened at the mind-blowing experience he'd had, an odd need to keep you just for himself having blossomed from it all. You were a keeper, you still are- and while it's not really love, it's good enough for him. Close enough.
He reminds you, regularly, that it's not love, with how he never claims to love you, avoids the topic altogether, always tells others you're just very close even when it's obvious just like tonight that you're a little too close to just be something casual. But he enjoys your presence nonetheless. Like a dear friend, just with some deeper layers to it.
Some staff call you his personal prostitute. And in a way, you do sometimes feel like that.
Jungkook is that kind of man who could have sex first thing in the morning. Doesn't even have to wake up fully- if you touch him just a bit, he'll come to life in an instant, if he's not sporting a boner already. He enjoys the exhaustion he feels afterwards, always pushes you past your first and second O, keeps his own saved up for the very last stretch all the time. He draws it out to high heavens, has trouble calling it quits.
Shower sex he's mastered, knows exactly where to step and what position to get into to make it as safe as possible. He loves having you on his large sofa, leather easy to clean after you're both done. Sixty-nine is his favorite dinner for two, though he has to admit that lately, he's been enjoying the more closer positions a lot more. Spooning from behind, lotus, you name it- you've become more than just an outlet for him.
He doesn't know what they call you behind his back. What your unofficial status is. They'd never admit that to him, because why would they? No one wants to get on his bad side if they don't have to.
He's on his phone, free hand on your thigh as you both sit in the back of the car that's driving him back to his hotel. He's gonna get out first, make his way inside, while you'll get in later from the back entrance to not raise any suspicion. It's normal. Routine. You've mastered it by now.
"I'll see you in ten." He winks before he makes his way out the car, rushing past some fans who've found out his location, bodyguards already there to guide him inside the lobby.
"Does he pay you?" The driver chuckles, and you shake your head. "Damn." The elderly man clicks his tongue. "Go find yourself an actual man, dear." He tells you as he parks behind the hotel, watching you move, your phone vibrating in your pocket, before it stops suddenly. "You know what they call you, right?"
"I know." You admit quietly.
"And you're okay with that? You're too sweet to let yourself be used like that. Have some self-worth." The man tells you with a kind tone. "I've seen you around long enough to know that you're kind, and a nice person. Trust me, you can and will find a proper man to love you right. But this?" He shakes his head. "You know he just wants you because you've become routine."
"I know." You repeat again, sighing a little.
"You're not what they say you are. You're just a little soft at heart, hm?" The old guy smiles over his shoulder, watching you unbundled your seatbelt. "Trust me, he won't be sad if you call it quits. I've worked for guys like this for more than thirty years- they'll just jump to the next." He explains, and you smile to yourself, before you nod towards the man. "Never mess with entertainers, sweetheart. They'll always break your heart." he offers.
"I know." You say once more, before you exit the car, and get on your way to Jungkook's hotel room.
You don't officially share one, but he still keeps you around for most of the night. You leave whenever he has to do a livestream or if he wants to go to bed, and you come back if he wants you to- but most nights you sleep alone, because he deems it too intimate for you to stay.
Apparently, sleeping in the same bed is more intimate than spitting on your cunt. Interesting.
When you knock on the door, Jungkook opens. Something's off, you notice it right away, but you don't dwell on it, don't answer. It's none of your business, and he won't tell you anyways, so what's the point in just further inducing his bad mood.
It's quiet as he moves around, since he doesn't talk to you, and you don't know what to say. You wait for him to make his move, and when he doesn't, you get up to grab your sweater you forgot in his room earlier, just to have him stand behind you, hands on your hips. "I didn't forget about you." He chuckles, and you let the fabric slip out of your fingers and back onto the floor as he kisses the crook of your neck.
Maybe jungkook is indeed using you. But you've started to use him just as much, if only to even out the odds, and make yourself feel more than just cheap company.
He slips out of his shirt. You raise your arms to help him take off yours, your naked skin at this point almost a requirement for him every time he takes you. He used to be satisfied with just fucking you somewhere quiet quick and simple to quench his thirst, but over the course of time now nearing an entire year, he's become more and more hungry. Like he wants to crawl underneath your skin at some point, the Idol constantly pushes himself more and more inside your body, not just in a sexual sense. He buys you clothes he thinks will look good on you, has a playlist just for when you're at his place filled with somber lovesongs more about heartbreak than anything else. He claims he didn't look up the lyrics, but you know he's lying. He knows a lot more english than he admits, just so he can pull the 'I don't understand' card whenever he's asked a question he doesn't want to answer.
He lets you wear his clothes without much comment by now, has gifted you jewelry he's worn and liked, laughs any mention of that being 'such a sweet gesture' off if anyone around him mentions it. He's not your boyfriend, but he surely is starting to act like it- maybe the lines are blurring for him just as much as they do for you?
People around you have started betting. On when he's gonna have another one, when you'll be 'swapped out' for something else, or at what point he's gonna make it official that you're indeed more than just nightly company. You don't await that day. It's never gonna come anyways.
"Turn around." He commands, and you do, because that's the easiest way to get where you want to be down the line. Head empty, no thoughts left, fucked stupid by a man who keeps you around for just your body and the familiarity you provide. You don't really mind any longer, long having stopped caring about emotions that are fruitless, bound to rot and die because Jungkook won't ever nurture anything you'd try and plant in his heart. He doesn't want it, and doesn't need it either- if he wants to feel loved, he just has to show his face to his millions of fans always on edge for more content. That's where he gets his love from. Maybe you're just there to feed other desires he can't have fulfilled like that.
He licks his lips as he gazes over your naked upper body, bra long undone by his hands on your back, fingers trained in the routine by now. You remember the surprise he'd shown you when you'd worn one with the clasp up front, face so soft and round for just a second that it felt like you'd just slipped into a dream- but his hunger had quickly returned, because Jungkook is a beast never satisfied. He craves more and more, constantly aims for absolute euphoria, never soft, never gentle.
Jungkook bites. He claims, grips, holds and pushes- he's aware over the physical strength he holds over you, and plays around with the fact almost every night. From tugging on your leg to pushing your head down whenever you decide to please him with your mouth instead for once. Something about the way you swallow around him and swirl your tongue always makes him feral, thighs trembling as the muscles spasm beneath the skin from the force of his orgasm. Maybe that's why he keeps you around. Because you can keep up.
His own shirt is shed, and his hands make quick work of his belt before he helps you out of your pants as well. He'd told you he didn't want to use the bed tonight, because asking for new sheets is always awkward, but he does it anyways- picks you up just to let you fall onto the bed, crawling over you. "What do you want?" You ask out of breath, but he just tilts his head in familiar habit, until it shakes no.
"Don't know yet." He answers. This is new.
Usually he always has a fixed scene set out, knows how he wants to take you right away, but this time he visibly seems unsure where to start. Almost like the first time.
He spits in his hand, doesn't bother taking off the rings, fingers working you up like it's second nature. He knows where to place them, how to move and what patterns to choose- and you don't bother thinking about the possible reason for it. Probably to get you wet and ready quick so he can get to the actual act itself, or maybe he just finds some sort of personal satisfaction from it. You're not sure- and neither do you really want to ask.
You're a little cold, but he'll warm you up soon. Hopefully you won't get sick like last time. Will he find someone else to fuck if you're unavailable?
Who knows. He surely has a lot to choose from, if he so much as asked.
He's got a question on his mind, but visibly contemplates on asking it. His teeth clamp down on his bottom lip, tongue playing with the twin piercings placed there for a second, before he leans in, kisses you. This is one of those things he does that are just outright cruel to you. His kisses full of fever and want feel so burning hot that you're sure you're marked by them for life. Like a signature he's inked underneath your skin almost he claims you again and again like this, with his tongue teasing yours, mouths open and ready to steal each other's breath.
He surely takes yours hostage, every time- and that's probably the smallest crime he commits.
"Have you eaten today?" He asks, and it catches you off guard, eyes opening again, painfully tugged back into reality where he lets his sticky hand run over your abdomen, just to settle on your hipbone. "Your stomach keeps growling." He teases, and you come crashing down. Of course. He'd never actually remember to ask that out of the blue if it wasn't for something reminding him about it.
"Not really." You respond, adjusting your position a little bit, legs trying to pull him closer. "Doesn't matter." You say, and he hums, leaning down again to mouth at your neck- probably marking his territory again, a joke made on a constant whenever you turn up with the blooming bruises on your skin, their origin more than obvious.
"Hm." He hums, almost dissatisfied, but you don't bother to think about it. He moves to lean off the side of the bed, pulling his suitcase closer to get himself a condom, opening the package easily before he rolls it over his length. He seems oddly soft tonight, in more ways than one. Is he still exhausted from the shooting? Could be. He never wants to admit himself that he has to take breaks, thinks that his body can just magically manifest strength from nothing but pure thought, and it used to irritate you, because you felt responsible, in a way. But that was when you still saw more in this than there actually was- nowadays, it's his business, not yours. He's got nutritionists and personal trainers who get paid for taking care of him. It's not your job.
What is your job, really?
Well, you're most certainly not working under his company any longer, and neither have you returned to your original agency either- simply because Jungkook's management deemed you too much of a danger in your position, after the idol had let it slip that you two were having sex on a regular basis. So you just signed an NDA, got paid for your silence, now earning a living by writing books. Modern fantasy novels, where the daydreams you once had can actually become reality, and your hopes and wishes can be dreamed of by other people who have the same.
It's good money. A hobby you cherish.
Jungkook has never asked you what you work as nowadays. He doesn't even visit your apartment, has never seen it before, and he doesn't know if you have family either. He just takes you as his, lets you live alongside him and entertains you whenever he's in the mood for it. And you let him, because these days, he's all you've got. There's not much else you can do than write all day at home or accompany him on his overseas schedules.
You're not sure why he always drags you along, when back home, he won't even call you for days. Maybe he doesn't have to? Maybe his bed at home is always warm. But if that's the case, why not take them on a trip once in a while? Does he have designated women for specific occasions?
Then who will the woman be he chooses to show to the public one day? Number three in his harem?
You can't even truly blame him. As someone he grew up in this industry, his view on the world is warped, shifted, not the same colors as yours. He doesn't feel the same worth in a simple banknote that you do, he can't understand the struggle of missing the bus or having to face an empty fridge.
"Sit up, baby." He tells you, chuckles when you struggle a little to do so- compared to him, flying around all the time actually does take a toll on you. And the petname doesn't make it any better in this moment, as his hands reach out to hold you steady, helping your legs over his thighs, before he guides the head of his cock into you. He wants you close tonight it seems like. Hopefully he keeps holding you, because you're not very energetic this time. "I've got you." He says, and you nod, resting your arms around his neck, hands faintly touching the skin of his back. "Are you cold?" He wonders.
"A bit." You respond. He's probably noticed your icy fingertips.
"I'll warm you up." He purrs, and you nod. You know he will. He always does- always hot hearted in everything he does, even in this. He holds you close, hands on your behind helping you move, your hips rolling a bit too slow for his liking, but he overlooks it for once. You're not sure what's up with him tonight. This isn't him. "You tired, baby?" He wonders, and you nod.
"Sorry." You tell him, but he shakes his head, moves to lay you down, knees pressed into the soft hotel bed mattress as he thrusts his hips forwards.
"It's alright." He brushes it off. "Flight was long as hell." He muses, lazily moving himself. You're enjoying this, even if it's odd for him to behave this way. "Wanna come over for breakfast tomorrow morning?" He asks, and you shake your head.
"Can't." You sigh, arms now moving to lay above your head, eyes closed in bliss. "I fly out back home at 8 tomorrow." You remind him, and you can't see the way his brows lower, face darkening as he realizes he didn't know that. You usually fly back after him. Why are you going home sooner this time?
"Why?" He huffs out, hands grabbing your legs as he pulls your thighs over his, pushing himself deeper now. "You always fly after me." He almost growls.
"I dunno.." You slur. "Management said." You just respond. Why does he seem so irritated by this? It's not a huge deal at all if you fly back sooner or later. He's not gonna call you up back home anyways, so why does it bother him so much.
"Management can go fuck themselves." He argues. "You fly after me. I'll book the flight myself if I have to." he demands practically, slight irritation causing him to have his energy boil up, position adjusted as he becomes more restless, balls smacking loudly against you cunt, pace a lot more ruthless now.
You're finally reaching it. Your head becomes fuzzy.
You don't notice Jungkook becoming almost.. satisfied from that sight of your tension finally leaving. You're nothing but whimpers of pleasure as he slips out of you, hands tugging and pushing your legs and body to have you on your side, the taller Idol now laying down on his side behind you to spoon you, dragging the head of his length through your soaked and slicked up folds. one hand holds up your thigh, helps in opening you up, though you're pretty much gaping from his girth stretching you out moments prior. His lips find your shoulder, your neck, as he pushes himself back inside with the help of your hands-
who suddenly do something new as well, tugging the condom from his cock, making him gasp out in sensitivity. "What're you doing?" He grows.
"IUD." You tell him. "Please-" You beg, and yet again he moves as if awakened from slumber, pushing you halfway on your stomach as he pushes the now bare head of his cock back inside you. This is most certainly new, and he knows for a fact, that he's never going back again.
"Fuck.." He almost laughs, leaning over you now, body covering yours as he just pushes himself in for a good moment, humming a sound of pleasure into your neck as he lets himself relish in the new sensation. "Ah-" He sighs out, before he clenches his jaw, thrusting hard as if to make sure your body will remember him for days to come.
It will. Sadly.
"God, fuck-!" He groans out, holding onto your body now, having turned you onto your side, hand reaching out adjust your arm so he can see your face. Your lips are parted, eyes closed in bliss, and he can't help but have his hand smack down onto your behind that's moving in a way that's way too inviting. He does it a second time, slap clearly heard as he smirks at the way you clench around his cock currently rearranging your insides. He moves your leg to rest over his shoulder, reaching even deeper, hand underneath your belly button pressing where he can faintly feel himself move.
No one can blame him for being absolutely obsessed with your body.
He can feel the way you begin to tighten, thighs shaking a little as you come undone, his hands moving your legs again to close them once more, holding them up, slipping out of your clenching cunt to push his cock right between your soft and wet thighs. it's enough for a moment, though you reach out to touch the tip poking through almost teasingly, making him laugh as he suddenly sighs out, groaning as he spills over your stomach and up your chest. You're breathing heavily, and don't notice you start to shiver, as he parts from you to turn on the light in the bathroom to clean up.
Aftercare is not really his thing- and you've come to accept that.
When you sit up, you stretch your arms in front of you, muscles slowly regaining strength as you wait for Jungkook to finish up, toilet flushing before he emerges again, shamelessly walking without underwear, gaze following you as you walk past him to use the bathroom yourself.
The moment you re-emerge to grab your clothes, he's sitting on the edge of the bed with his boxers back on, phone in his hand. "I booked the flight for you. Tomorrow at 12:30." He tells you as you slip back into your underwear, not bothering with the bra as you search for where he'd thrown your shirt. "Here." He offers- and you slip the garment on with a thanks, only noticing afterwards that that's not yours at all, oversized fabric reaching almost to your knees. "Cute." He comments way too quiet to be meant to be heard, so you don't mention it at all.
"Why is the flight-thing so important?" You wonder, slipping into your socks as he moves around to find the hotel room service menu.
"Because you always fly back after me." He repeats again, clearing his throat.
"…you already said that." You mumble to yourself, but he clearly hears you.
"Fuck alright, god damnit!" He whines in complaint, rolling his eyes. "If you were to fly back earlier, you'll run right into all the paparazzi and shit waiting for me. That's why you're meant to fly back later- so they're gone by the time you arrive." He explains, and you're stunned in the spot you're standing, watching him a bit confused.
So that's the reason?
"It's not like they know." You say, unsure why he's so adamant about it.
"Doesn't matter." He shakes his head. "I'm not having them jump you for whatever reason they might have." He denies, before he sits down in the seat near the window which blinds are shut. "Now what do you wanna eat?" He asks, and you shake your head.
"I'll eat something tomorrow morning." You deny, and he slumps back in his seat, eyes closed and tongue pushed against his cheek.
"What do you want to fucking eat, babe." He repeats, making sure to pronounce the petname before he looks at you with frustration.
"Nothing." You respond. "Are we done?" You ask him, and he shakes his head, setting the menu down before he crosses his arms.
"No." He denies. "What to they call you?" He asks, and you're not sure what he's getting at, shaking your head with brows furrowed in confusion.
"What're you talking about?" You ask, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
"What do they call you?" He repeats. "I heard what you talked about in the car when I left."
"How?" You ask baffled.
"Telepathy." He jokes without humor, before he scoffs to himself. "I called you to actually ask you if you wanted to eat something- but you must've accidentally accepted the call without looking, because I clearly listened in on a convo I wasn't supposed to hear." He explains. "Either way, I want an answer. What. Do. They. Call. You." He demands, and you sigh.
"Why does it matter?" You argue, searching for your leggings in the room- finding them over the armrest of the chair he's currently sitting in. "I'm your personal prostitute, just without the pay." You tell him, and it takes him a second to realize that that's your answer.
Suddenly, he wants you out the room.
Not because he doesn't want you here any longer, but because the guilt is eating him alive with ever second he has to look at you. Because the more he think about it, the more it becomes obvious to him that this really must look like just that to everyone. After all, he's just taking you with him apparently for sex, and he's become so comfortable in it that he didn't think about it any longer. It's what you want too, right?
Jungkook has never really learned how to convey his emotions properly. He doesn't know what it's like to fall in love, has no idea what to look out for. He likes spending time with you, and enjoys the sex to the point that he's been monogamous with only you for the past year or so. It's nice to be in a relationship, even though he knows this one isn't normal. It's still okay, because down the line, you understand each other. He likes you, he just doesn't want people to use that against him or you at some point- so he keeps your status to himself. No one needs to know you're a couple. Only you and him. Because.. you know that, right?
"You know that's not what you are to me, right?" He asks, and you shrug.
"Does it matter?" You ask. "It's none of my business who I am to you, or whoever you screw apart from me." You say.
"What?" He asks, crossed arms unraveling. "I'm not fucking anyone but you." He says.
"Cool." You say.
"Cool? That's it?" He argues. "How can you be so calm about everyone else telling you I'm apparently cheating on you?" He worries, and you're yet again confused.
"What're you talking about?" You ask. "That's got nothing to do with cheating." You say.
"No no no no whoa there. Stop for a second." He holds his hands out as if to soothe a raging crowd of people, looking at the carpet. "You- you do know we're in a relationship, right?" He asks you, and your face tells him everything he needs to know. "Oh my fucking god are you kidding me…" He complains into his hands, covering his face in frustration.
"How the hell was I supposed to know?" You say, now with your own arms crossed. "Jungkook, you rarely even talk to me when we're back home. You only take me with you when you've got something up overseas, you constantly tell people we're just friends, you've never even asked me out in the first place!" You argue.
"We've been fucking each other for almost a year, I thought it was obvious I liked you?!" He whines, looking at you with what you realize are tears brimming on his waterline. Why is he so emotional now? "Have you- did you see anyone other than me?" He asks quietly, and you shake your head.
"No." You deny.
"Okay. Fuck- okay." He takes a deep breath, swallows down his panic. "I like you. I don't- I've got no clue if it's love or not because I don't know, alright? But I like you, a lot, to the point where I want us to be something permanent." He tries to explain. "Just us. You and me." He underlines, and you shrug.
"Jungkook, it's not that easy." You sigh. "If this has been what you think a relationship is like, then we won't work out."
"Alright, then what do you need me to do?" He argues, not letting go. "God- fuck, tell me what do I have to do to make you stay?" He asks, voice cracking.
"Jungkook, calm down-" You start, but he shakes his head, swallows thickly, bottom lip quivering for just a second before he licks over it, pulls it in between his teeth.
"I can't-! Not when it sounds like you're gonna leave me-" He worries.
"I'm not, don't worry. I'll stay. Just.. breathe for a second, alright?" You ask, getting up to walk closer, pushing his shoulders back to force him out of his slumped over position. "Hey- okay?" You ask, and he instead pulls you closer, sits you onto his lap, before he clings onto you, resting his forehead in your shoulder. "Why do you never reach out to me when we're home? You're confusing me." You gently tell him, and he shrugs.
"I'm scared they'll see you." He sniffles. "If they do- they'll tear you apart." He sighs. "When we're out here, like this- I can just.. claim you're staff, whatever. But at home- I can't.. I don't know how to protect you." He shakes his head.
"You should've told me." You sigh, leaning into him. "I was hurt, you know?" You tell him.
"I'm sorry. Fuck, I'm so sorry." He apologizes, pulls you just a bit closer. "I don't know what to do." He whines.
"What if you just visit me instead?" You offer. "They don't know where I live. And my windows are all mirrored so no one can look inside." You tell him.
"…since when?" he asks, leaning away from you a little so that you can finally see his face again, eyes red, a stray tear escaping him that you wipe off.
"Since a few months ago? Jungkook you don't even know my apartment in the first place. You've never visited me at all, ever!" You laugh, and he sighs.
"I know, and I.. always wanted to, you know, visit you.. spend time with you but.." He runs a hand over his face.
"You're okay. We talked about it now." You nod, an action he copies. "I'll come back tomorrow morning and we can have breakfast together, okay?" You ask, but he shakes his head.
"No, you gotta stay." He denies. "I don't care if you don't like that, but I need you close tonight." He says.
"Never said I don't." You say. "You just seemed uncomfortable with it." You wonder.
"Because I snore!" He whines, throwing his head back. "I snore, I move a lot, I might cling to you at night or I sweat, or whatever the fuck- I'm not as perfect as I'm made out to be." He complains.
"Jungkook sorry, but what the fuck." You laugh, and he can't help but smile at the sight and sound of you happy. "You can fart and burp like whatever, and I'd still stay. You're human, I'm not perfect either!" You explain, but he shakes his head, leaning forwards to kiss your already blossoming bruises on your neck.
"No, you are." He says. "You're absolutely perfect." He argues.
"Not really." You deny.
"Stop arguing." He complains, squeezes your waist a bit.
"What're you gonna do about it?" You tease, and he looks up at you with a heated gaze.
"Get me nice n' hard and I'll show you." He responds, making you giggle with eyes rolling, as you lean back to tug him out of his underwear, a hiss leaving him. "Fuck, baby your hands are icy!" He laughs, leaning back to hold your legs so you don't slip off of his thighs.
"That's cause it's cold in here!" You joke back, warming your hands up on his already heated length, skin already flushed and swelling as the blood rushes back. His hands travel beneath the shirt you wear, softly grabbing at the flesh of your chest, making you get up to shed your underwear and get back onto his lap.
"Think you can ride me on this thing?" He asks, talking about the seat he's sitting in. "Kinda tired right now, won't lie."
"Huh, making me do all the work now?" You raise your brows. "And here I thought you wanted to take us seriously.." You sigh, attempting to joke- but he clearly doesn't take it as such, face becoming serious again.
"Lift your hips a little." He demands, and you do so- unsure what he's trying to do, before he spits into his hand once more, feeling you up between your legs to check if you're ready. You are- quickly slicking up at the thought of him, and he guides his length inside of you again, stretching you out once more, but this time, it's not just sex.
He refuses to move. He just helps you settle on his lap, but holds onto your hips, keeping you from moving. "Jungkook-" You whine, but he shakes his head, and pulls your face closer to kiss you.
"No, I wanna stay like this for a bit." He denies.
"But I thought we wanted to eat something later?" You ask, making him roll his eyes.
"I'm trying to be romantic here." He complains.
"By putting your dick inside me?" You ask.
"Well I don't know what else to do!" He whines. "I.. I don't really know how else to properly express.." He falls deep into thought for a second or two, before he finally says it. "I don't know how else to make sure you can.."
"..feel how much I love you."
You're quiet for a good while, watching how he rather looks at your neck than at you in particular, avoiding eye contact as he continues to move his hands back to your sides underneath your shirt. "Jungkook…" You mumble, and he cringes.
"Don't-" He sighs, clicks his tongue in irritation. "-don't pity me or something-" He begins.
"No no no I'm not pitying you I just-" You cut him off, now your hands holding his cheeks to force him to look at you. Because you just realized something in the things he's said earlier. "Remember how you said.. you want me to fly back after you?" You ask, and he nods.
"Yeah." He answers, his way warmer palms now taking yours from his face, holding them in his. "Of course."
"That's.. something that also shows that you care about me." You say. "Because, you didn't say that you were worried about someone spotting me and putting your career on the line- but that you were worried about me being in danger." You remind him, and he nods. "Or how you noticed my stomach growling, and wondered if I ate today." You giggle.
"I already wondered if you didn't- cause I didn't see you eat anything." He shrugs.
"See?" You hum towards him, running your hand through his hair. "That shows you care, too." You say.
"But I want you to feel it." He complains stubbornly. "I want you to.. feel the same as I do when I'm around you." He offers.
"Horny?" You ask, and he rolls his eyes, throwing his head back.
"That too-" He laughs. "But mostly.. just, I don't know." He takes a deep breath. "It's hard to explain. It's like chest constricts when I'm not around you. Whenever I'm home, I miss you so bad that I sometimes go to sleep early just to avoid giving in and calling you. I have to distract myself just to not think about you- and yet I still do, almost all the time." He sighs, tucking your hair behind your ears. "When I wake up.." He hums, hands moving to your shoulders. "When I do my morning routine.." He explains, letting his fingers travel over the length of your arms. "When I work out.." He continues. "When I go to bed. It doesn't matter at all." He shakes his head.
"You know you don't have to make up something just to make me stay, right?" You ask him, and at that, his eyes immediately snap back up to you, panic returning.
"I'm not." He denies instantly. "I'm really not-" he urges. "-how can I prove it?" He worries.
"You.. listen, it's not something that you can just clear up in a moment." You sigh. "It's gonna take time. We're basically starting from scratch here." You explain, and he nods.
"Do you.. should we stop then?" He asks, glancing between your bodies for a second. "Until you believe me?" He wonders, and you shrug, before you shake your head.
"No." You deny. "I'd miss you too much-" You tell him, before you adjust your legs, arms around his neck. "-And you'd probably go insane without sex." You tease.
"Not without sex." He denies, watching how you begin to move your hips, letting him slip out until just the very tip remains inside you. "But without you." He clarifies. "It's not sex I want- that's a… I don't know. It's the closeness I feel, you know?" He sighs when you sink back down. "I just like touching you.. being inside you.." He hums, eyes fluttering closed as he leans back into the seat while your hands settle on his shoulders to keep you balanced, pace slow but fast enough to intensify the pleasure you both feel. "Just like that.." He sighs out in bliss.
"I have a really nice couch, you know?" You hum towards him, making him smile while his hands find your waist. "My bed is really big too.." You tell him, and he opens his eyes a little at that.
"Big enough for two?" He wonders, and you shrug.
"Guess we have to find out." You tease, and he nods, hands moving from your waist to your hips before one of them finds your heat between your legs where he can see his cock disappearing inside you.
"Is the couch sturdy?" He wonders, fingers playing with your clit now, making the muscles in your thighs twitch.
"Ah- yes!" You whine, picking up your pace.
"Hm, gonna fuck you on it then." He chuckles. "Stress-test it." He jokes, and you whimper as you come undone, your slick now coating his own legs, strings of the sticky fluid keeping you both connected, wet sounds echoing off the walls of the hotel room. "Break it." He growls, heels on the ground helping him in shifting his hips upwards into you, catching you off guard, your orgasm washing over you in a wave threatening to drown you.
You're shaking, but you still move, needing to feel him reach his high as well, and he does find his own release, spilling whatever he's got left to give, holding you close, kissing whatever skin he can reach from how you're hugging him now, breathing slowly easing again.
And he keeps you like this, uncaring of the food since it's by now too late to order any roomservice anyways.
And for the first time, he actually sleeps next to you, in the same bed-
promising himself to do everything he can to keep you this close, for now and as long as you'll have him.
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another-lost-mc · 8 months
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the characters finding out about mc's fwb but instead of it being with a random demon, it's solomon >>>>
them being flabbergasted not only about the situation but that you have the arrangement with that shady sorcerer. also frustrated because of course you'd take comfort on the only other human in the devildom!
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➤ when they find out solomon is your fwb
characters: the demon brothers + dateables
1k words | gn!reader | nsfw | snarky and suggestive
c/w: jealousy, non-explicit sexual content, implied voyeurism, implied threesomes/moresomes
related: finding out you having a fwb: the demon brothers | the dateables
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disappointed but not surprised: lucifer, beelzebub, diavolo
They warned you, didn't they?
Solomon is the shadiest sorcerer to ever exist. He's powerful and unpredictable and he can't even be called human anymore. Why in all the Devildom did you have to pick him? You could've had literally anyone else!
Unheeded warnings about not getting too close to Solomon turn into vague reminders that the demons are there to save you from that white-haired menace if you ever need them to.
Lucifer sneaks behind your back and gives Solomon the world's scariest shovel talk, which is a little silly since this was only supposed to be a casual arrangement for comfort and intimacy. (Of course, no one realized that you and Solomon managed to catch feels along the way.) Lucifer's thinly-veiled threats promising a painful demise should be enough to scare anyone away.
None of them expect Solomon to abruptly end your casual relationship so that he can date you officially instead. He looks far too smug with himself when you hold his hand at RAD in front of the others or when he becomes a semi-regular visitor at the House of Lamentation.
Your undeniable happiness is a constant reminder to the others that they underestimated both humans in the exchange program.
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why didn't anyone stop them?! (yeah, they're jealous af): mammon, leviathan, satan, belphegor
This is awful. Isn't this why they were supposed to keep an eye on you, to keep you from getting mixed up with people like him?!
"Weren't you supposed to do that, Mammon?"
"Shuddup!"
They hate Solomon's guts. They don't think he deserves you. (They might not deserve you either, but you could do a hell of a lot better than him!)
They roll their eyes and gag dramatically when Solomon kisses your cheek or cozies up beside you in the cafeteria at lunch. When you're not looking, they shoot daggers at him and make not-too-subtle gestures that translate roughly to I'm watching you and if you hurt them, you die. They're less subtle and more aggressive than Lucifer is, and Solomon thinks it's hilarious.
He knows how lucky he is that he caught your eye first and not them. He'd be lying to himself if he said he didn't enjoy rubbing it in their faces just a little bit. Maybe he forgets to use a silencing charm on your bedroom door when he fucks you in the House of Lamentation.
Maybe he wears low-collar shirts to show off the fresh line of marks you made around the base of his neck. He leaves a toothbrush in your ensuite bathroom and spare clothes in your closet.
Sometimes you wear his clothes when you don't have class because they still smell like him. You don't notice the demons sitting beside you at breakfast twitch in their seats and suddenly lose their appetites.
You feel so fortunate that you found friendship and love in the Devildom. Your friends tell you (and themselves) that they're happy for you too. You don't notice how fake their smiles are when they see you together (but Solomon does).
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they're surprisingly okay with it and no one understands why: asmodeus, barbatos, simeon
They don’t know whether to blame fate or their own bad luck that brought you and Solomon together. They grudgingly admit you could do a lot worse than the white-haired menace that seems to adore you. As long as you’re happy and treated well, they don't feel it’s their place to interfere.
The others might sulk and pretend they’re not disappointed, or they might be openly belligerent about it, but some of your friends still support you above all else.
Asmo drags you into his room and gossips with you about Solomon while he does your nails. Tell me, you can be honest—how is he in bed with you? I’ve never seen him like this with anyone else! Oh, I bet he's so romantic, isn't he~ He’s curious about your relationship and teases you for intimate details that are too personal to share, but you know he's genuinely excited for you.
Barbatos doesn’t say much about your relationship openly, but he enjoys reminding the others that if they were less distracted by their own foolishness, they wouldn’t have taken you for granted.
Simeon welcomes you with open arms as a guest to Purgatory Hall when the atmosphere at the House of Lamentation grows too stifling. He does his best to make sure Solomon doesn’t completely ruin dinner when you visit in the evenings. He enjoys discussing books and your other shared interests when the sorcerer is busy; Solomon knows you're safe with the angels in his absence.
Like Asmo and Barbatos, you grow closer with Simeon as well through your mutual connections to Solomon. You might not realize what they’re up to when they try to spend more time with you outside of class, but Solomon does. Their sweet gestures of comfort linger far too long to be considered platonic, and the way desire creeps into their eyes when they gaze at you from afar would irritate him if they were anyone else.
He has long, colourful pasts with both Asmo and Barbatos, and Simeon quickly became one of his trusted friends while living in the close quarters of Purgatory Hall together. It wouldn't be the first time Solomon invited one of his acquaintances for a little bit of fun in the bedroom, but that was only to share casual partners he didn’t have feelings for. The thought of sharing you with anyone else nearly drives him to violence.
Time dulls those jealous impulses, and he admits how appealing it would be to watch you with one (or more) of them together. You’re so lovely in the throes of pleasure, and there's a certain thrill from watching on the sidelines. He knows they'll obey without question when he tells them how to touch you, and he can savor watching you fall apart under their hands and his sinful commands. He gets hard just imagining you crying out his name when you cum, even if one of the others is between your legs instead of him.
If you admit to feeling desire for any of them, he'll discuss those delicious possibilities with you too.
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read more: headcanons masterlist | obey me! masterlist
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luvfy0dor · 2 months
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“There Is No Other Love, It's Only Yours ♡⁠˖” BSD Men x GN!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚
╰┈➤ Dazai Osamu, Chuuya Nakahara, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Nikolai Gogol
Warnings; Maybe ooc, barely proofread
Description; how the bsd men say ‘i love you’ without actually saying it (sigma does actually say it but that's besides the point)
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A/n; Next fic post will be a request! Sorry they're taking me so long : ( this is a new style of writing for me and it's really short, but I figured I'd give it a shot. It might be a little whack though because I'm real tired rn I took an hour long nap before writing Sigmas
Dazai says ‘i love you’ best through physical touch and small gestures of the sort, specifically touching your hands. As soon as you're within his reach, your hand is in his and his thumb is rubbing over your knuckles affectionately. His lips brush against your knuckles when he gives excuses to Kunikida on why he can't make it today with your sleepy form right next to him on the bed. He'll press kisses to each knuckle while he listens to the blonde tell him the amount of absences and early leaves he's had in the past month and quietly sigh. He doesn't care where he is either, he's shameless it's his affection and will happily grab you by the waist or hand infront of a crowd. He loves to show you off because you're the best thing to happen to him, but if you're shy he'll tone it down to keep you comfortable.
“Ah! There you are. I've been looking for you. Give me your hand so I don't lose track of you again...ah, you got me! I did just want to hold your hand, but what's the harm?”
Chuuya shows his love through acts of service- I know a lot of people probably would assume gift giving, which he does love to do, but he finds himself commiting acts of service more frequently. Every time he notices you seem tired after work, he'll do the chores that you had accidentally forgotten, even if he's tired. He plans dates for the two of you atleast monthly, always picking a restaurant or activity he heard you mention wanting to try. He does find himself spending money when he sees things that remind him of you, but he thinks spending time with you is even better. If he takes your car somewhere, it's always coming home with a refilled gas tank. If you need to lift something heavy, he offers to use his ability to help you. He'll do your laundry whenever he notices it piling up and bring you coffee, tea, or water in the morning when you're still lingering in bed.
“Mornin' sweetheart, I got you a drink. Be careful not to spill it, s'real dark in here and opening the blinds doesn't help any...we got a date tonight, by the way. You said the new restaurant sounded good so I figured we could go tonight if you're up for it.”
Fyodor spends quality time with you. He likes to keep you nearby when he reads or works, although he prefers when you're on the quieter side during those activities. Otherwise, he's happy to talk with you for however long the two of you are content with. Usually you'll have conversations over a game of chess, which he almost always wins while you're attention is divided between talking and playing, but he's a good sport about it. He'll give you pointers on how to do better in the next game. He'll play his cello for you, too. If he finds your hobbies interesting enough he'll take part in them. If you paint he'd be more than happy to join you, chatting with you while your brushes paint images of scenery and figures on the once blank canvas. He prefers what are considered more sophisticated hobbies, but he'd watch a chick flick with you or let you teach him how to play your favorite video game if it really made you happy.
“If you're as determined to win a game as you say you are, you should probably make an attempt to put more focus into the game. I do love hearing your voice, moya lyubov, but thinking about how you're going to move your pieces and talking are counterproductive. We can try it again, or we could do something else, whatever you'd like, Myshka.”
Nikolai shows you his love primarily through flirty words and loving touches. Whenever he walks next to you, his hand is on either your lower back, hip, or in your hand. When sitting with you, he'll fiddle with your fingers and play with them harmlessly, occasionally fighting off the urge to bend them back far enough to break them. In the same heartbeat, hell bring them to his lips and press kisses to every finger tip while telling you a flirty joke. He often lays his legs across your lap or lets you lay yours over his while you play with his hair. Sometimes he'll walk up behind you and whispers a pick up line in your ear with a large grin on his face. He likes seeing your reaction and watching you squirm in embarrassment in his grasp.
“You must be an artist, my dove, because you are so good at drawing me in! Hey- you can't go anywhere just because you thought my joke was cheesy! I can find some wine to go with it if you'd like, hehe.”
Sigma shows his love through the way he trusts you. Obviously with everything he's gone through trusting people became really difficult for him, but you came along and earned that trust when you proved that you were a permanent factor in his life and wouldn't betray him. He trusted you enough to let you into the Aerial Casino and stay with him regularly in his quarters. He let his walls down around you and opened up about his origin story. He would let you get physically close to him and touch him, coming to love the feeling of your lips against his, pressed in a sweet kiss. Though he still kept his independence and a desire to not depend solely on you in fear of betrayal, you could tell that he had come a long way from the man he once was after his experiences in the DOA.
“I felt so foolish after I fell for Fyodors tricks again, but dealing with the distrust and suspicion I held towards everyone else was just as hard as the realization of messing up again...thank you for listening to me, you've helped me so much. I don't think I could ever repay you enough...I love you.”
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A/n; AHHHHHHHH I'm so tired but fuck it we ball I gotta write chisme for Spanish and it's going no where I lied to my teacher and told her it was almost done it is not almost done I have barely met any of the requirements for it but I won't do it if I don't post something so
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dawndelion-winery · 1 month
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Just A Taste
Kisses and more (it was not just a taste)
Ft. Alhaitham, Childe, Dottore, Wriothesley, Zhongli
Warnings: 18+, mdni, making out, Dottore being Dottore, teeny bit of Dragonli
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Alhaitham:
Alhaitham's kisses, unlike his words, are gentle
Such is the way his lips find yours, soft to the touch, and every bit respectful
So much so that he always manages to catch himself as he leans in, biting his lip as he stares at you
His brow furrows in frustration with himself as he stops just short of kissing you, barely whispering a heavy "May I?"
When you assent, he finally leans in, eyes closed, palm on your cheek
Sweet, brief kisses (always at least three)
Of course, it's different if you initiate it
His hand finds the small of your back and pulls you closer, holding you in place lest you run off
If you're in the mood to kiss him, he'll push his luck for more
This time, he nibbles at your lips instead as his hands slide down from your back to your ass (he squeezes if he's in a particularly teasing mood)
And it's not hard to tell what he wants when he looks at you so hungrily like you're his next meal
Not that he'd ever act on it
Not unless you ask him to
It's almost tormenting, the way he touches you so respectfully despite so obviously wanting more
And for this, he's terribly fond of having you in his lap to enjoy the view, to see you squirm before you relent and beg him to be a little less restrained
"In that case...you don't happen to have any plans at the moment, do you? We'll likely be here for a while."
Childe:
Messy, wet, and full of teeth and nips
He kisses restlessly, like it's never enough to just be kissing you
His hands are everywhere, on your face, your arms, your chest, waist, thighs, you name it
Ajax kisses you with fervour, as though you're his first and he's trying to impress
His mouth never stops moving, be it trailing kisses across your face, or sucking on your neck, or even biting your cheek
He's always grinning too, like he's watching his favourite show
He very well may be too, with every sound leaving your lips composing his favourite soundtracks
Not that much of it can be heard when he swallows it all so eagerly
It always starts with him sitting innocently beside you too
And then his hand finds its way to your thigh as he inches closer, slipping an arm around you under the guise of a quick cuddle
Followed by a peck to your cheek as he scoots closer still
And of course, it's never enough for him, not when he craves you oh so much
So not so subtly, he rests his chin on your shoulder as his lips creep towards your neck
His movements are casual, almost lazy, and it would seem that way if not for the way he caged you in his embrace
Kiss him back and see how quickly his hold gets more playful, his hands start to wander more, grabbing and squeezing at any expanse of flesh he can reach.
More than anything, he loves murmuring praises as kisses you, as though the kisses engrave his affection right into your skin
"Mm, just a little more...I love you..."
Dottore:
He's a biter
He gets so nippy with his kisses that people worry for you
I mean, they're already worried because it's Dottore you're dating, the cuts and grazes that litter your skin only fuels their concern further
He likes it a little too much though, relishing the sight each time he adds new marks to the mix
It's like an art to him, and he wonders how many he should leave, how deep they should be, before he makes them permanent
He's very aware that you're apprehensive to him being so...violently inclined, so he contents himself with this much
Even then, he knows exactly what gets you ticking, the way your eyes flutter shut as he holds the nape of your neck to keep you from pulling away when he kisses you breathless
And while you recover, catching your breath while your mind is numb, he makes quick work at your neck and shoulders (your chest too, if enough of it is exposed)
His teeth, ever sharp, puncturing bruised skin just before he kisses it better
Cry if you will, he'll only stroke your face, his lips dancing gently across your features until the sniffling stops, and then he's right back to marking you
His hands do wonders to coax you into letting him do as he pleases each and every time
Painful as it gets, he's quick to rub soothing circles on your thighs or back, whichever is more convenient for him to hold you in place
"Hush, my dear," he mumbles against your cheek as he kisses your tears away. "You're not done so quickly, are you?"
Wriothesley:
Wriothesley kisses you with all the desperation and longing of someone dying to be in love
More often than not, he's pulling you in as you pull away for air because he's not nearly done
It's taken so much out of him to be this vulnerable with you that he can't imagine not wanting you and it shows. Very much.
You can barely pry him off you once he gets started, which is pretty funny considering how he almost seems averse to touch in public
But in private? When you drape yourself over him and kiss along his jawline so tantalisingly?
You're just begging for trouble
And what luck for you that he excels in dealing with troublemakers
The wall, his desk, they're all convenient surfaces to hold you captive for your sentence
He's quite partial to having you on his desk, though, since it's so easy to rub his hand up and down your thigh no matter how much you squirm
And then he can simply press his forehead to yours, muttering about what an attention seeker you are and sighing that you leave him no choice
He's fooling no one when he's practically grinning ear to ear as he leans in to capture your lips again
"Can't even keep your hands to yourself for a minute? I'll give you something to hold onto then."
Zhongli:
You'd expect him to be patient and gentle with his kisses
And while, yes, they are sensual to an extent, there's a certain amount of desperation to them
He's lost so many people over the years, mortal and immortal alike
The latter being worse on him because he had been so certain he'd have enough time with them
So for you, someone so dear to him, to be mortal...it's frustrating, to say the least
He tries so hard to maintain his human form but he really gets carried away sometimes, the urge to just give you the teeniest of nips with his long canines getting the better of him
His lips find yours hungrily, and when you turn you hear for air, he simply moves to your neck, your jugular
He loves feeling the warm pulse of your blood rushing through your veins, it's like sand trickling through an hourglass, letting him know he still had time with you
His lips never leave you until he's had his fill
His hands are, in fact, gentle, like a skilled potter, caressing you as sweetly as he thinks you are
You're so fragile, a mere human, and oh the things he might do to you if he were just some big bad dragon but you're just too precious to risk
His fingers dance across your skin like he's trying to paint you, fingertips feeling almost talon-like at times, but always lightly
Zhongli who wonders what your worship would feel like, but anxious he might enjoy it a little too much, pulling you up from your cosy kneeling spot so he can hold you properly
"I'm not your deity, now am I? There's no need for that, my precious, let me feel you."
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querenciasturniolo · 8 months
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Could you do one where Matt and reader have been dating for like, a year and reader has been in multiple vlogs and car videos, and the fans love her. So, when the internet starts going crazy speculating that Matt has a girlfriend, they do a podcast about reader and Matt's relationship and they're flirting the whole time, Nick and Chris can't stand it, jokingly, but put up with it. So, when they release the pod episode, the fans go crazy, and Matt and reader are just openly flirting with each other online and it's all just so cute and fluffy. If you can't, I completely understand. I hope you have a wonderful day and / or night! <3
sick ⮕ m.s.
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word count: 759
warnings: swearing, mentions of kissing, scooby-doo reference
summary: request
a/n: this was so fucking cute, i loved writing it
everything written is completely fictional. the people i write for are written with characteristics and mannerisms that i made for them, this is in no way depicting what would actually happen in real life.
“Good morning campers, welcome to the Cut the Camera Podcast. I’m Nicolas Sturniolo.”
You glanced over at Matt, eyeing his side profile as he tightened his arm around your shoulder and pulled the mic towards him. It was your fault the secret came out when it did, you made googly eyes at him every chance you got, and he knew every single time.
“I’m Matthew Sturniolo.” He said, looking down at you with furrowed brows and a soft smile.
“And I’m gonna be sick.” Chris said, your jaw dropping in amusement as you whipped your head towards him. He laughed into the mic and shrugged his shoulders. “It isn’t my fault you’re staring at Matt like the sun shines out of his ass.” He said.
You rolled your eyes and pulled your mic close to you. “And what about it?” You shot back, Matt scoffing and running a hand over his face.
“Well, I guess that is one way to start the topic. Why don’t we go ahead and introduce our special guest, Matt?” Nick prompted, Matt uncovering his face and adjusting his headphones. He looked into one of the cameras and smiled, looking back down at you. “Go ahead.”
You cleared your throat and looked into the camera, pulling your mic towards your face and sighing into it. “If you don’t know me, I’m Y/n. I’ve known these losers for a couple of years now.” You said, turning your head and smiling at Matt. “And dating this specific loser for a little over a year, and if it wasn’t for you meddling kids, we could have gotten away with keeping it a secret for a little longer.” Your eyes met the camera again with raised eyebrows and an amused smile. “No, in all seriousness, it’s funny the way everyone found out.” You said.
Matt chuckled and shook his head. “So, basically, this podcast episode is talking about how we met Y/n, how she somehow got stuck with Matt, and how you all figured out the secret.” He said, his fingers tapping against your arm lightly from where his hand was draped over your shoulders.
“And Nick and I are going to try and keep our food down while we’re at it.” Chris said. You rolled your eyes and adjusted your mic.
“Chris is just jealous, don’t listen to him.” Nick said, Chris scoffing into his cup. You threw your head back and laughed, grateful that the microphone only picked up the slightest sound of the raucous noise.
The pod went by smoothly, the four of you bouncing off of each other with jokes and stories that all of you loved. One particular story, you noticed, the fans were editing like crazy.
“Look at this.” Matt said, holding his phone so you could see it from where your head was laid in his lap.
“That isn’t how it happened!” Matt exclaimed, the camera panning to Chris rolling his eyes, and then back to you with your face in your hands to hide your embarrassment.
“That abso-fuckin-lutely is how it happened. You were walking Y/n out, and I ran downstairs to remind her to bring her camera the next day, and I caught you kissing her goodnight! Don’t tell me what I remember, that shit still haunts my nightmares.”
The edit continued, more clips of Chris rolling his eyes at the camera and laughing in slow motion to a song you couldn’t recognize.
You sighed and looked up at Matt. “Out of all of the stories we told on how Nick and Chris found out, that isn’t the one I’d expect to be blowing up.” You said, pressing the comments icon and smiling at all of the sweet things being said about your relationship.
“I mean, it is probably the funniest story we told, Chris was more animated than he’d been in a long time.” Matt said, liking the Tiktok and locking his phone. With his hands free, he traced mindless designs on your arm with his fingertips, and ran his other hand through your hair.
You hummed and closed your eyes, completely relaxing onto the couch. “I saw one the other day, and it was a gag counter. I think Chris hit like thirty before the end of the pod.” Matt said, a huff of air leaving your nose as you grinned and looked up at him.
“There’s no way it was less than fifty, it was ridiculous.” You said, Matt laughing softly above you and shrugging his shoulders.
“Not my problem we make him sick.”
tags: @strniolo , @ssturniolo , @thetriplets3 , @stvrni0lo , @gabbylovesreading , @dwntwn-strnlo , @tylerscreat0r , @toyourloves , @lvrsparadise , @tuktuk34 , @angelcake-222 , @20nugs , @obsessivencrazy , @lollibumblebee , @stargirlv0id , @babytomatoes , @jellybeanbby
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a-hazbin-reader · 2 months
Note
could you do something about how alastor gets jealous and how he shows it? Like what things would get him jealous and stuff like that and then how he would go about it? Thank you!
I guess I gotta- 🥵
Alastor X Reader Headcanons
✅️Romantic
❌️Platonic
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TW: Alastor being a red flag, Wifey is into it even though she pretends not to be, A widdle suggestive
Description: ☝️⬆️
It doesn't take much to make Alastor jealous, he has a big ego to defend and doesn't like to share your attention
He also doesn't think a lot of people are worthy of your attention so that's a big part of it
Alastor is almost childish the way he acts out when he's jealous, it's painfully obvious even though he denies it every time
He sulks and acts out to get your attention back on him, doing anything he can to make you just look at him
He's rude and intimidating to anyone he thinks is flirting with you or trying to take you for themselves
After every incident, he tries to pretend like nothing happened and refuses to acknowledge his jealous streak
Can't people just understand that you're a married woman and that Alastor deserves all of your time???
Someone is talking to you and you're laughing too hard, cheeks a little too pink? Alastor is right there to sniff out any ill intention
"What's so funny, my dear? Surely you're not gossiping without me.."
He's wrapping a protective arm around you and kissing your cheek, eyeing the other person the entire time as he asserts his husbandly dominance over them
"Hm? Oh! He was telling me a funny joke about-"
Alastor takes a break from kissing your wrist and palm to snap his gaze to the other man, a wicked gleam in his eye
"Ohhhh! So you're a clown! Wonderful~! Your attire had me wondering what you do for a living, but now it all makes sense!"
The other person is visibly uncomfortable by your husband's unspoken challenge and backs out of the conversation with their tail between their legs
"I guess he had other things to do~"
You roll your eyes as Alastor nuzzles your neck, petting his around his ears and antlers
"You're are not a very subtle man, my dear."
You're dancing with someone who's not him? Alastor will physically shut that shit down
He spends maybe a full minute pouting and ignoring everyone else around him, eyes locked on you and your dance partner
"Alastor, are you even listening?"
"Out of all the women here, why did he choose MY wife? I walked away for one second, and he snatched her up!"
He doesn't care for how closely they're holding you, the way they blush and smile from your attention
Alastor isn't having it, striding over and using his hip to push the man away from you and off the dance floor, taking your hand
You're trying not to smile at him, pressing against your husband as you take his hand and dance with him
"Alastor, that was rude..."
He simply chuckles and spins you around happily, snapping his fingers to change the song into something more romantic
"I would say I'm sorry but we both know I'm not~ Besides, I waited for my chance to dance with you!"
It's hard to stay mad at him when he's looking at you like you're the only person in the world and holding you like you're something precious
It helps that he's so handsome, you can't help but lean up and steal a kiss from him, feeling familiar butterflies at the touch
"You've been dancing with me all night, and you barely waited a minute... you greedy demon~"
He leans into your hand as you cup his cheek, tail wagging from having your undivided attention again
"Is it a crime that I want to hog my darling wife? That I crave every opportunity to dance with her and steal the show?"
He's leaning in for another kiss, and it makes you instinctively move in closer to meet his lips
"It will be if you keep injuring people~"
And those are just some examples of people who weren't flirting with you, it's so much worse when someone actually wants you
You're waiting for your husband to meet with you for your date, dressed up and looking your absolute best
When you hear a sharp whistle from behind, only to see a sleazy looking demon towering over you and eyeing your body
"And just where do you think you're going looking like that, beautiful? My place is that way~"
He's much too close, placing a hand on the wall behind you in order to keep you from running, completely unaware of the danger he's in
You can't help but roll your eyes at the situation
"I'm flattered, really I am... but I'm not interested, I'm waiting for someone, actually."
You casually move out from under his arm, completely unfazed by the way his expression darkens as you fix your appearance
"Oh really? And just who might you be waiting for? Let me guess, your boyfriend?"
He doesn't look like he believes you, making air quotes around the word boyfriend
You can't help but laugh at the poor soul, putting a hand on your hip as you whip around to face him-
"Husband, actually~ My name is Alastor though maybe you'll recognize my other name! The Radio Demon~ Maybe you've heard of me?"
It's such a treat to watch the cocky demon lose his composure in fear and so sexy to watch your husband be the cause of it
The demon is so much larger than Alastor but he's practically cowering away from him, Alastor grinning at him as he tilts his head
"Look uh-I'm sorry! I didn't realize-"
Your husband tuts at the demon, antlers already growing as he morphs into his larger demonic form
You can't help but blush at how sweet Alastor is being, rushing to your rescue like this
"Didn't realize what? That you were hitting on my wife? You think I would just stand by and let you think you have a shot with her? She's much too far out of your league, unfortunately."
He's so cute when he's jealous
"Darling, do be quick with that? I don't want to miss our reservation-and no eating him! I don't want you to spoil your appetite!"
Alastor looks at you and visibly blushes at how good you look, the other demon simply an afterthought as he tears them apart
"My dear, you look absolutely ravishing~ How am I going to keep the other men from looking at you when you're so delectable?"
He's still humongous, a large claw reaching out to stroke your leg tenderly, a lovesick expression on his face
You can practically see the hearts in his eyes~ Smiling at your husband and blowing him a kiss
"It's a good thing that you're the only man I have eyes for then, isn't it?"
He shrinks back down to his normal size and kisses your hand before wrapping an arm around you as you two walk together
"It's something that I'm extraordinarily grateful for~"
You can't help but lean your head against him, letting him nuzzle the top of your head in an affectionate manner
"Though~ I wouldn't mind a refresher of just how much you adore me...~"
You can't help but snort at the comment, gently slapping his chest before pulling him in for a kiss
"Dinner first~ You'll need your strength~"
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I might go back and change this one a bit ngl
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thatbitchery · 4 months
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Unlearn the dumb idea that inflicted pain justifies your reaction to it. It doesn't. Ladies elite women make it because we have a level of stoicism that borders on sociopathic apathy, exhibit A: we don't react to triggers we mimosa, sleep, see if it's worth it then logically make decisions. The idea that when someone does you dirty you have the right to react based on emotions so you're angry mad throwing names & hands sending texts talking sheet & other loser girl things is dumb dumb. You're not justified to react. 'They did me wrong' . So? Sit down, watch Netflix, wait for the emotions to pass then use the head God so generously gave you + that pretty face bonus.
When you react to people doing you wrong you give them the permission to bypass their actions & focus on your reaction so if your bf cheats on you & you start screaming sending 1b texts making titktoks he can bypass his cheating & focus on you're immature you're abusive why did you hit me you're mentally unstable you throw things around bla bla & will never face what he did. When we say be non reactive we aren't asking you to be a stone we are asking you to be smart. Do you want to get manipulated? Abused? Sit down get a manicure & go for brunch. Run to your room scream cry anhiliate your pillow but when they're watching its Elsa Lite, froooozen ice queen don't let them in don't let them see, ever.
One tactic m3n use in divorce court is to get the lady so triggered she loses her cool then it's look at her could you live with that? I'm taking my child this is an abusive woman & men don't leave relationships they just trigger you into irrational behavior and use that as an excuse & crying is worse what did we say about public vulnerability? Go cry to your bestie and God in your house out here tears are a sign to bully you. When you're not reactive you throw THEM out of balance and you hold the cards, once you go 'right to my opinion I'm the victim' we'll find you a grave bc that's called social suicideeee.
Two friends. Real life story here, ladies. Ah high-school back in the good old days.
We call them Allie and Sara. High school circles were tight so you're friends with someone you're also friends with their bfs, right? Alice & Sara both got cheated on (by m3n looking like area 9 failed experiment Shrek cosplayers but that's not thepoint). The bfs know that they were discovered. Allie, Allie is that girl. Drama girl. Find him in cafeteria & make a scene girl. How could you cheat on me you suck your pp is short anyway bla bla watch me devalue myself. Allie feels good in the moment, her bf leaves and tell his friends of course i cheated that girl is crazy. Would you date someone like her? So immature. Women are so ovarical I can't handle it. Evening the story is- she was abusive. She hit him & threw words in public imagine in private? He's been protecting her in silence, you know women can be abusive too.
Sara, Sara my love. Sara sits next to her Shrek Lite boy and says hey so that girl you kissed, Jane was it? She's pretty. You have taste. End of story. After lunch her Human experiment failure boy says let's talk she says sure abd listens with 'mhm' and nods. She meant nothing babe she seduced me I'm an adolescent what can I do bla bla. She nods says okay and goes to class. Days goes as usual. Evening we get dinner , Weekend we do research for our papers & talk college. Is she talking to him? Yes. Painfully polite, painfully. No emojis no nothing just shallow dry polite texts. Let's talk about this babe- is left on blue ticks. Monday morning her factory reject lookalike is losing his mind, she's being painfully polite, in a shallow way, so he resorts to triggering. It's because you're like this you are like a man and I'm straight I need a woman bla bla. She says OK then turns to the next person & did you hear about the trip to the beach? Of course I'm going. Boy realizes that's not working & resorts to Allie behavior- throw a tantrum in public make yourself the victim why won't you give me the pleasure of being the one to push you to your edge? Sara says babe pull yourself together you're embarrassing your family. Do you need your anxiety meds? My therapist is good she can treat hysteria are you okay? No this isn't like you, this is hysteria babe do you need psychological help? No this isn't normal , hey do you guys think it's normal to do this? I'm calling your mom babe we are getting you a mental check hold up-
Heres a little secret. In private? In our dorms? Sara was BAWLING her eyes out. Chocolates & Styrofoam cups. We are talking 3am on the bathroom floor. In public?
Guess who won.
Unlearn the idea that you're entitled to reacting to others actions to you, you're not. Learn to hold your tongue and tears and smile and Elsa don't let then in don't let them see then call mom and spend the rest of the week in her arms crying. The amount of women I've seen triggered out of their jobs, marriages, houses, parenting &c when they were 10000% the victim from lack of emotional intelligence is unforgivable.
Dont, be dumb. Don't let yourself think you have the freedom of expression, you don't. Not in the way you want to. Go write a poem but remember everything you say can and will, in fact, be used against you.
Non reaction is the highest level of power in existence. Mind over body. Logic over emotion.
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poohsources · 10 months
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🐝  *  ―  𝑭𝑨𝑲𝑬 𝑫𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.
❛  i promised my parents i'd introduce them to my partner the next time they came around ... will you please pretend to be my girlfriend / boyfriend?  ❜ ❛  you can stop pretending, there's no one around anymore.  ❜ ❛  somewhere along the way, my fake feelings became real feelings for you.  ❜ ❛  if you want others to believe we're dating, you'll have to start acting like you at least like me.  ❜ ❛  do you think they believed we're in love?  ❜ ❛  thank you for pretending to be my boyfriend / girlfriend.  ❜ ❛  if you still need a date for tonight, i'm free.  ❜ ❛  they're looking suspicious. quick, kiss me.  ❜ ❛  give me one more stupid pet name and i'll break up with you right here, right now.  ❜ ❛  can you please pretend to be my partner so this asshole will leave me alone?  ❜ ❛  it says couples only ... let's say we're dating and we'll get in.  ❜ ❛  we don't have to kiss, do we?  ❜ ❛  no one's going to buy it unless we actually commit to the act.  ❜ ❛  i'm not comfortable with doing anything more than holding your hand.  ❜ ❛  it feels wrong to lie to everyone like that. why can't we just tell them we're just friends?  ❜ ❛  fake dating you is a lot more fun than i expected.  ❜ ❛  surprisingly, i really enjoy your company. we should do this again sometime.  ❜ ❛  my date bailed on me, can you take their place instead?  ❜ ❛  can we do this again? but maybe this time as an actual date.  ❜ ❛  relax, so far everything went well and no one is suspecting anything yet.  ❜ ❛  i don't think i can fake being in love with you anymore ... because i've fallen in love with you for real. ❜ ❛  the others are going to catch on if you keep sending me death stares.  ❜ ❛  please say you'll do it so they'll finally stop harassing me to find someone.  ❜ ❛  i heard you needed a date tonight, so here i am.  ❜ ❛  you don't have to do anything if you aren't comfortable with it.  ❜ ❛  shouldn't we go over our stories so we don't accidentally tell people two completely different versions of how we met?  ❜ ❛  wow, you almost convinced me you really meant what you were saying.  ❜ ❛  wait, this wasn't part of the act?  ❜ ❛  we're already so close, no one will suspect a thing.  ❜ ❛  okay, but won't we have to explain it when we break up?  ❜ ❛  if you really want to get out of this so bad, you'll have to be the ones to break up with me in front of our friends and family.  ❜ ❛  i couldn't have asked for a better person to be my fake girlfriend / boyfriend.  ❜ ❛  when did your feelings for me become real?  ❜ ❛  how long do we have to keep this up?  ❜ ❛  i don't like lying to people about things like that ... but if it'll make you happy i'll do it.  ❜ ❛  want to help me make my ex jealous?  ❜ ❛  i know this wasn't part of the plan but i think i've caught real feelings for you.  ❜ ❛  you don't have to pretend anymore ... no one's looking anyway.  ❜ ❛  was any of it real or was it all just fake? because it didn't feel fake to me.  ❜ ❛  will you at least hold my hand?  ❜
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My Heart Is Thrilled By The Still Of Your Hand
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Word Count: 3.3k
Warnings: okay uh praise kink, touch starved bucky, kinda size kink, a little bit of cockwarming, creampie, unprotected p in v (wrap it UP), oral f receiving, minor overstimulation idk I think that's all but I'm probably missing something
Genre: fluff + smut
Summary: You find out your very not physical boyfriend is actually touch starved
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***
Your boyfriend does not like physical contact. You'd figured that out pretty soon after you'd met him. Granted he started out as your neighbor so there was really noreasonto have physical contact exactly, but when you introduced yourself to him, he didn't shake your hand. You seriously thought you messed up that first impression when he glanced at your outstretched hand and just nodded a hello. You obviously didn't because after months of friendly conversation, he eventually asked you on a date. A date on which he didn't touch you not once. Even when he was guiding you somewhere, his hand hovered at your back but never actually made contact. You thought maybe he was being overtly cautious to make sure he didn't cross any boundaries. Your second date was the same and while you tried not to think too much of it you'll admit it was a little awkward when you returned to your apartments and he rushed out a goodbye before disappearing into his place when you had stepped forward to tell him you had fun. Your third date went similarly, except you grabbed his hand while crossing a street without thinking and though he did let go after a few minutes you took it as a good thing that he didn't immediately snatch his hand back.
His lack of physicality didn't bother you really, especially because you'd met his closest friends and they don't seem to touch him either. When they visit he sits in the armchair while they're on the couch even though his couch does fit the three people. You know it does because when you hang out with all of them you usually take that third spot on the couch with your back against the armrest closest to Bucky. You know not everyone likes being touched so you allow Bucky to decide most of your physical contact. Aside from the rare occasions where you hold his arm for balance while walking in heels or grab his hand in busy places, which he tends to avoid, you let Bucky initiate things. He hardly does but your relationship is still new, a few months at this point, so you don't feel the need to rush him. You're perfectly comfortable with that choice until Sam pulls you aside one day when you're all at Bucky's apartment.
"I need to talk to you for a second y/n." Sam tells you, grabbing your arm before you can follow Steve out of the kitchen.
"What is it Sam?" You ask, tilting your head.
"What's up with you and your man?"
"I'm not sure what you mean?" Your brows knit together at his words.
"How do I put this? If I didn't know y'all were a couple I would assume you barely know each other. You don't hug, you don't kiss, you don't cuddle, you don't even sit together when we all hang. At first I thought you were just shy about affection around strangers but we're friends now I think and nothing has changed."
"I'm sorry do I need to reintroduce you to my boyfriend, one of the most physical touch adverse people I think I've ever met?"
"So it's not a you thing?" Sam asks.
"No! As far as I know Bucky pretty much hates being touched. I figured that out when I met him. I just don't push the issue." You shrug.
"I mean I know he doesn't like being touched but you're his girlfriend."
"Being his girlfriend doesn't give me permission to ignore his boundaries Sammy."
"I'm not saying ignore his boundaries, I'm saying his boundaries are probably different with you."
"Sam it took Bucky three dates to hold my hand and that was becauseIgrabbedhishand to drag him across the street. I really don't think I'm an exception."
"At this point I think you've made it seem so small that he assumes you don't like it either. If you showed him that you cared about all of that stuff I'm sure he'd show out." He says.
"Okay but Idon'tcare about all that stuff." You sigh, "I mean, I guess I do but not in the sense that I want to force him out of his comfort zone or anything like that- I'm fine Sam really."
"Are you guys coming because I will start this movie without you!" Steve shouts from the living room.
"We're coming!" You shout back. Sam grabs your arm before you leave the kitchen.
"Just give a little nudge." He says quickly. The two of you make it out to the living room and Sam nudges you as soon as you're by Bucky's seat. You trip just a little at the sudden shove and shoot a glare at him. He makes a not so subtle gesture at Bucky and you roll your eyes.
"Did you guys pick something?" You ask hesitantly placing a kiss on Bucky's cheek before taking your seat on the couch next to Sam who's in the middle. You don't notice the way Bucky touches his cheek or blushes at your sudden affection.
"Technically Sam picked this movie." Steve says.
"I did? Is itNow You See Me? Y/n you know they've never seen that?"
"I believe it." You nod.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Steve scoffs.
"You two are basically grandpas, now start the movie." You wave your hand at him, grabbing a handful of popcorn from the bowl in Sam's lap. Sam laughs while Steve starts the movie. By the time you've finished both that and the sequel it's pretty late and everyone seems ready to wind down for the night. Steve and Sam say their goodbyes while you stick around to help Bucky clean up.
"I'll do the dishes tomorrow doll, just leave them in the sink, okay?" Bucky says when he sees you turning on the faucet.
"I don't mind doing them now-"
"It's late,andyou've already helped me straighten up. I'll take care of those." He pulls you away from the sink and turns it off. You put a hand on his cheek, your thumb gently stroking his face for a moment.
"You're sure?" You ask quietly. Bucky's eyes have fallen closed at this point and he lets out a content sigh before he replies.
"I'm sure." He says eventually.
"Alright, then I'll see you soon." You say giving him a quick kiss before going back across to your own apartment. It shouldn't, but your fingers against his skin stir something inside Bucky he hasn't felt in a long time and it makes him ache in more ways than one. For the next few weeks you take Sam's advice and test the waters in small ways. You put your arm around his when you're out together, offer hugs and kisses whenever the opportunity presents itself, you've even been finding ways to touch him while you watch TV together as opposed to sitting on opposite ends of the couch. It's all little innocent changes that you implement over time gaging Bucky for negative reactions and adjusting accordingly. He's not noticeably averse to anything you do so while there's no acknowledgment of your increased affection, you presume he's indifferent to it. Oh, how wrong you are. With each soft touch or gentle kiss, Bucky is only wound tighter over time. It takes everything in him not to react when you press yourself against him while leaving the movie theater or when you shyly kiss him before rushing into your apartment after saying goodnight. The more you do it the more he realizes how desperate he is to feel you but he can't bring himself to do anything about it. He wills himself to relish in the touches you give and not crave more. To his credit, for a while, that works. He's content with your shy kisses and gentle caresses until tonight. You're even more affectionate than you've been as of late and while Bucky loves the feeling of your hands on him, it's making the blood rush south while you're watching TV.
"Bucky are you alright?" You hum looking up at him from where your head is resting against his shoulder.
"Hm? Yeah, why?" He asks.
"Well, you've been pretty tense since I got here. I didn't wanna say anything but- I can feel your heart racing." You say patting his chest for emphasis.
"Oh is it?" He asks with forced ease that makes you chuckle.
"Babe what's going on?" You sit up to look at him.
"Nothing. You don't need to worry doll." He says grabbing your hand that's resting on his chest and squeezing reassuringly.
"Bucky, you don't have to lie to me." You frown.
"I'm not- lying." Bucky says. You look at him for a long moment before you shrug and lay your head back against his shoulder, turning your attention to the TV again absentmindedly tracing patterns on his chest with your finger. A few minutes pass before Bucky lets out a harsh breath and you sigh.
"What's going on with you? And don't say nothing this time. If you're bored or something you can just say so instead of acting all weird."
"I'm not bored, trust me."
"Then tell me what's up with your behavior."
"I'm just- on edge. I guess." He shrugs.
"Why? Did something happen today?" You ask, concern in your voice.
"No no, nothing happened. I'm sorry for being weird, I'm just- god you drive me crazy." Bucky sighs.
"What didI do?" 
"The way you touch me is maddening doll."
"Wait what? I haven't been doing-"
"I know. It's embarrassing how easily you manage to rile me up. All you've done is hug me and now I want to pin you against a wall." He grunts out. Your eyes widen at his confession.
"Pin me against a wall?" You gasp.
"I've been trying to control it so much I'm sorry I-"
"Bucky I'm not scandalized that you want to fuck me, I'm your girlfriend. I'm just- surprised because you hardly initiate contact and sometimes you shy away from it, I kind of just assumed you hated it."
"Well I, I'm not usually comfortable with it and with you, it, makes me dizzy. I can't think straight."
"So like this," you place your hand back on his chest, tracing gentle swirls against his thin t-shirt, "this makes you dizzy?" You ask curiously. Bucky's hand grabs your wrist in an attempt to keep you still.
"Yes it makes me dizzy. It's been making me dizzy for the last hour."
"I had no idea you'd be so easily excitable." You giggle.
"I'm not it's just you." Bucky says.
"If you want to pin me to a wall so bad I won't stop you."
"Y/n, don't tempt me."
"I mean you don't have to if you're not ready for that-"
"That is not the problem."
"Well what is?" You ask.
"Y/n," Bucky sighs and you shrug.
"Like I said, we don't have to. I know it's not you're thing, I'm only teasing." You tell him. Bucky lets out a grunt before pulling you into his lap so suddenly that you gasp.
"I don't think you understand how hard I'm trying to not fuck you silly doll."
"What if I want you to?" You ask and Bucky's hand tightens around your waist. He brings his other hand up to the back of your neck and sighs.
"You're going to be the death of me." He growls out before pulling you down to kiss him. The kiss is rough, Bucky's tongue claiming your mouth. When Bucky pulls away, you're panting harshly as he trails kisses down to your neck. He litters your throat with marks that have little whimpers falling from your lips. "God you sound so pretty." He mutters against your skin. Your hands slip under his shirt and you drag your nails across his abdomen, enjoying the way the muscles tense under your fingers. When you attempt to tug his shirt over his head he stops you.
"Is everything okay?" You ask breathlessly.
"Bedroom." He grunts.
"Does it matter?" You frown.
"To me yes. I'm not fucking you for the first time on my couch." He says. He tucks his hands under your thighs and stands from the couch with ease. You wrap yourself around him, leaving teasing kisses along his neck as he carries you down the hall.
"I'd let you fuck me in the back of an alley if you wanted Bucky." You tell him when he kicks the door of his room open.
"What're you trying to do doll? Gimme a heart attack?" He grumbles tossing you onto his bed.
"Never." You giggle tugging him towards you by his shirt. When Bucky's shins hit the edge of the bed he falls forward with his lips against yours, bracing himself against his hands on either side of your head.
"Hard to believe when you talk like that." He jokes as he sits back on his knees. He tugs his shirt quickly over his head and you let your eyes roam freely across his chest.
"God, you're hot." You sigh which makes him chuckle. He leans forward to kiss you and then pulls your shirt up and off of you, tossing it somewhere behind him. Bucky dips his head to your collarbone, scattering your skin with wet kisses as he tugs your bra below your breasts. With your boobs on display, Bucky is quick to take one into his mouth, his tongue and lips lavishing your nipple with attention while his fingers tug and tease the other. Your back arches against his ministrations, quiet mewls filling the space.
"I love your little noises baby." He mutters, swapping his attention.
"Your mouth feels so good." You whimper, threading your fingers gently through his hair.
"Wait til you feel it between your legs doll." He smiles, kissing down your abdomen. Bucky pulls your shorts and underwear off in one go as he shuffles down the bed. "Such a pretty pussy." Bucky mutters, his hands on your thighs hold your legs open as he stares at you.
"Bucky," you frown, squirming against his hold impatiently.
"I gotchu doll." He says licking slowly between your folds. You suck in a breath at the feeling of his tongue against you. Bucky lets out a groan at your taste before burying his face fully between your legs. He laps at your core like a man starved, his tongue sharp and unforgiving against your clit. He has you so worked up that you're writhing against him, making him wrap his arms around your thighs to keep you still enough for him. Bucky pulls an orgasm from you embarrassingly fast, that tightly wound ball of pleasure in your gut snapping so soon it even shocks you. You draw a shaky breath that turns into a shakier moan when your body registers Bucky's mouth still on you, even stronger now than before.
"B-Bucky wait." You stutter out as you twist in his hold unsure if you want more or less of him.
"Gimme another baby. Love seeing you lose control." He growls out, two metal fingers joining his mouth, gently working you open as your walls continue to spasm helplessly in the aftermath of your first orgasm.
"I- Bucky- wai- I nee- God! I can't think!" You pant out, your fingers in his hair tugging harshly.
"Good, don't. Just be good and cum for me doll." Bucky says and when he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking harshly as his fingers curl just right against that spot inside you, you have no choice but to follow the directive, cumming with a loud whine as Bucky eagerly indulges in your juices. When your breathing starts to slow, Bucky lets up, adjusting enough to shove his pants off and line himself with your entrance. "How ya doin' sweetheart? Still with me?" He asks, softly caressing your cheek. You hum in response at first, giggling as you lean into his touch. "Need you to speak for me doll. Can't give you more til you use your words." He chuckles.
"It'll take more than that to take me out baby." You wink at him, taking his dick in your hand and stroking it slowly. He's hot and hard in your grasp and you smile when Bucky's head drops to your shoulder as he groans at your touch.
"You're killing me sweetheart." He laughs breathlessly. You let out a laugh of your own and turn your head enough that your lips kiss the shell of his ear.
"It's only fair." You whisper, scraping your teeth gently against his earlobe. You can't help but delight in the way he shivers. Bucky pulls your hand from his length, trapping it under his against the bed.
"Who said anything about fair?" He manages before you feel him thrust into you. Your head snaps back at the feeling of him stretching you as he slowly rocks into you inch by inch. His size is almost overwhelming but you can't help but moan when he's finally bottomed out. Bucky's groan is strained as he sets a measured pace, clearly trying to give you time to adjust. His unhurried movements only serve to rile you up more and you're squirming against him as your hands still trapped under his clenches around it.
"Fucking hell Bucky move, please!" You finally grind out when it becomes unbearable. When your walls clench around him, any plans of leisure Bucky had in mind are tossed out. He grabs your hips tight enough that you're sure there will be bruises come morning, but you have no time to dwell on it as measured movements become unrelenting, his hips snapping against yours so hard the bed moves with each thrust. Your back arches into him as he presses into you repeatedly.
"This what you wanted doll? 'Be split open on my dick huh?" He huffs out.
"Yes- fuck, ohGodyes!" You cry out, your body overwhelmed with the feeling of him.
"That's it baby, scream for me. Let everyone know who's got you like this." His commands are breathy and gruff when they reach your ears.
"Bucky! More please! Oh my God Bucky!" You whine.
"Fuck you look so good taking my dick baby. Nice and stretched out like you should be- damn I could get used to this." Bucky's words only pull more sounds from you as another orgasm builds inside you. His fingers reach between the two of you to toy with your clit, rubbing circles against the bundle of nerves and hurdling you faster towards that third release.
"F-fuck- fuck I'm close- god I'm gonna-" it's not a full sentence, your brain is too scrambled to string together the proper thought.
"You gonna cum for me baby? Gonna make a mess all over my dick?"
"Yes, shit- yes, god yes."
"Go ahead doll, cum. Wanna feel you squeezing me." Bucky huffs out and with a few circles against your clit, you're doing just that, your third orgasm making you shake so hard Bucky has to hold you to chase his own release. His thrusts are more frantic now focused on finding his own end.
"God you fuck me so well baby, you're gonna cum in me aren't you? Want your cum leaking out me Bucky. Please- please fill me up." You whine.
"Fucking hell- you want itinyou? Want it flooding that needy little pussy?"
"Yes! Please Bucky! Please cum in me. Want it so bad." You plead breathily. Moments later his hips stutter and you feel the heat of his release as it fills you. His harsh breathing is the only sound in the room for a few minutes as you feel your heartrate slowing.
"Yeah you really are going to be the death of me." He chuckles breathlessly as he attempts to recover from his high. You giggle and wrap your arms around him, pulling his full weight onto you.
"Wait a sec babe let me-"
"Whatever it is can wait, I just wanna lay like this for a while." You tell him. Your soft voice and gentle strokes of his hair are too soothing for him to even want to argue and so you lay like that for who knows how long. Bucky's head on your chest as you play with his hair, he doesn't even attempt to take his dick out of you, just wanting to prolong your closeness.
As it turns out your boyfriend does like physical contact, but only when it comes from you.
***
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a-sip-of-milo · 7 months
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Need a reason to live?
Recently, I made four polls with eleven reasons to live in each. Most of those reasons were given to me by people who have also been suicidal in the past, and I decided to compile them into one long list (plus some) for anyone who needs it to come back to when they're out of reasons to keep going.
⚠️ Disclaimer: Please do not turn this into one of those "ALWAYS REBLOG IF YOU SEE" posts. Thank you. ⚠️
Relationships
Your furry companion(s) (this means pets and friends who are furries <3)
Your friends
Your family
Those who look up to you
To reconnect with someone you haven't seen in a while
Your headmates (specific to those who are apart of systems)
There's someone who isn't around anymore who would want you to keep going
To eventually be a mentor to someone
To make sure your animals never have to sleep alone
To fall in love
Your partner
To meet your online friends/mutuals
To tell your mentor/the people who raised you with kindness that you made it
To see someone close to you through their final days
To make it big enough to eventually provide for those you care about
Your FP (personality disorder specific)
Group photos with your (found) family and friends
To help your friends do the same
The friends you've yet to meet
A promise you made to someone special
Acts of kindness
To be there when someone needs you
To see someone smile because of you
To make a stranger's day a little brighter
To hand out compliments to those who need it
To make the world a little bit better before you go
To treat the people around you the way you wish you'd been treated
To be the one person in someone's life who is there unconditionally.
To help someone you love to quit an addiction
To do charitable deeds
Affection
Hugs from someone you trust
Kisses from a partner, close friend or pet
Cuddles when it's cold/lonely
To laugh until your stomach hurts
Forehead touches
To hold someone so tight that they're wheezing
Doting on people when they're feeling down
To make the people around you laugh
Interests
That new game/movie/show/book/album/etc. that you’ve been waiting for
Telling everyone and anyone who will listen about your special interest/hyperfixations
To share creations that aren't appreciated enough
To save up for something that would make life more bearable
To finally complete a collection
Projects would be left unfinished
To travel
To complete a project you've been working on for a long period of time
Projects you've yet to come up with
To start participating in special interests you've had to put on hold
To laugh at the creations you made when you were younger and less experienced
Those who consume your work would never get to see another creation of yours
Spite (because I think spite deserves Its own section:))
To stick it to your abusers
To prove your younger self wrong
To prove the people around you wrong
To prove your younger self right
To prove the people around you right
To spit on the grave of someone who hurt you
As a big 'fuck you' to the world and everyone in it who tried to silence you
To outlive your enemies
To do something that you've never been allowed to do (get a piercing, tattoo, cut or dye your hair, etc.)
To show off your success to the people who doubted you
To make sure whoever hurt you doesn't win
Milestones
You've got a milestone of some kind that you'd like to reach before you go
To see your (future) children reach a milestone of their own
To see a birthday you never thought you'd make it to
To graduate from school
To see your wounds from self-harm heal
To experience old age
To get married
To recover from your eating disorder
To experience independence
To start/complete your transition
To go on your first date
To get your first job
To adopt a child and give them the life that they deserve
To rescue a pet and give them a home
To purchase your first car
To rent/purchase your first house/apartment
To have your first child
To lose your virginity
To experience the joy of knowing you escaped/got through a bad situation
To eventually publish your own book/art piece/etc.
Miscellaneous
To finally get diagnosed with something important
So if nothing else, you can still say you survived
You have a bucket list you'd like to complete
To live because you want to, not because others want you to
Comfort drinks with someone you love
You wrote a letter to yourself that you can't open until a certain date/birthday
Those rare and valuable pieces of media with good representation of a minority/marginalised group.
To read through past conversations with people and cringe/laugh/cry.
All the different foods you've yet to try
To see the world become more accommodating to those who need it
To watch the seasons change
To celebrate the holidays
For those days where you do feel okay, perhaps even good
To eventually replace the stuff in your closet with things that represent who you are now
To read back on journals and diaries you made when you were younger
If you are not in a place where any of these help, that's more than okay as well. It will be here if and when you ever need it. Being suicidal can be extremely lonely and scary and we all deal with it in different ways.
If you have your own reason and you feel comfortable sharing it with me, let me know via asks or DM and it will be added as soon as I can 💞
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