#my last drawing got flagged randomly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tonyandzivauk · 1 year

Text

Health update.

I know I keep vanishing and then coming back randomly but trust me it's not because I don't want to be here, it's because of everything I have going on right now. Finding the time or energy is really fucking hard right now. I do lurk in the back ground and I am still working on finishing the pic spams...but again...I have so much going on now that it's unreal.

I work two jobs. Me and my partner bought our first home a year ago. We are a couple months closer to move in but its just been such a long and stressful journey to get this far. I'm working two jobs so we can afford to do the things we want now in terms of fixing it up so we don't have to ever do it again. I am a high school teacher during the week and a worker in an Autisic Centre of the weekends and school holidays.

As some of you may know, 8 years ago I suddenly was unable to walk properly due to pain in my hips. After xrays, they found I have Dysplasia in both my hips which caused arthritis in both. So I was thrown into the world of being disabled as I couldn't walk properly and I was in so much pain. 2 years later, after many attempts to save both hips, I had total hip replacement of the right hip. 6 months later I had a total hip replacement of the left hip. Recovery was awful. Months later I started suffering with pain in multiple joints. My knees would give way. My ankles would swell. My left sholder was very painful when moving it and would lock quite a bit. Going to the doctors to speak about this would result in me being told that it's just pain from the hips travelling down to my joints and up my back.

So I carried on. I had to. I didn't have another choice. Couple of months later, couple of ER/A&E trips, I got sent to a rheumatology consultant. He did a blood draw and said that I had no sign of an autoimmune problem so it must be Fybromyalgia. Now. I do believe I have Fybromyalgia. I have the emotional trauma from growing up with an abusive, alcoholic & gambling addict dad. Developed eating disorder from the age of 18...and I've had the physical trauma of the back to back surgery's. So it's fits. All the symptoms fit.

However, with my family's history of arthritis at very young ages (my mum needed them at 20, my auntie needed them at 23, my nan needed them in her 20s and I needed them at 21). Most of those woman have arthritis in a lot of other joints to. So I needed to push for further investigation.

My left hip replacement hasn't felt good at all since it was done. It is that bad that I actively call it my "bad hip". And tell people we don't celebrate that hips birthday. The pain has gotten much much MUCH worse. If I stand for more than 30 seconds on that hip, I get stuck. I can be taken out of action for days if I do too much activity because of the pain. I take 80mg of slow release morphine every day and other pain killers. That doesn't help much at all.

So, I asked my rheumatologist to please xray the hip replacements and please xray my sholder as it was getting worse. Its hard when you get a diagnosis of fibromyalgia because doctors like to see that and not look any further then you are complaining of joint pain. It's very hard.

I got the xrays.

Sholder: he rang me with the results. His statement was that I have Dysplasia in my sholder. The joints don't fit properly which is what is causing the pain. He also stated that this hasn't changed since the last xray I had done when it was originally flagged....excuse me? I was so confused. Eventually I remembered that during my second hip replacement, the hospital suspected a post op blood clot in my lungs, so they did a chest xray. When this xray was done, there was a red flag on it that said I had Dysplasia of the sholder. That was 5 years ago. No one said a word to me. It wasn't in my notes. When I say I was so angry, I was soooooo angry. But at least I had an answer other than "oh you have fibro, that's what's causing the pain." Since then, no one has been in touch about a treatment plan etc. That will be my next issue to fight for I guess.

The Hip: the replacements looked fine. They were not loose. Which is brilliant! However, I had extreme pain from it. So I was referred to a hip specialist. This guy was the guy who did all of mu family hip replacements so it was nice to be under him if there was a problem with my replacement. I went to see him 2 weeks ago. He sent me for a CT on my pelvis. He agreed that there was no issue with the hip other than nerve pain which isn't really worth opening back up again due to the risk of infection and the fact that I will need new hips in 10 years anyway. So, Great. Nothing wrong with the hips. I'll just have to get on with the nerve pain. He told me he had bad news though. He pulled up my CT scan and showed me that I had arthritis in sacratic joint on the left side. That is what is causing me the intense pain. That is what is causing me to get stuck in certain positions. All he can offer me for that first is injections into the joint and physical therapy. He told me that it's going to be a long journey with a lot of work.

When I say I sobbed. I sobbed. Another fucking thing that is wrong with my body. I feel like I am just broken. I find it hard to put into words how all this makes me feel but tbh nothing was as bad as it was when I got a letter through the door from the same doctor.

He mentioned everything he said in the appointment about the joint issue on the left side. But he also had taken another look at my scans and he said there is degenerative changes in my lumbar spine. Arthritis in the bottom half of my spine. What do I do with that? I was in work when I read that and honestly I did my best to keep it together but I couldn't do it. I just cried my eyes out. I think reading his words, "Elisha knows that this is something she will have to deal with for many years and it is not going to go away." I am honestly broken. I don't know why this is happening. I don't get how I've gone from where I was before I turned 21, perfectly healthy other than the eating disorder, to being 30 with arthritis in the bottom half of my spine, arthritis in my joint that connects the pelvis to the spine, 2 hip replacements & a Dysplastic sholder. I honestly feel like I should ask for a whole body scan just to get it out of the way. Just find out everything.

What also has freaked me out is that he said I have myelitis in my spine. If you do your research you will understand why this has freaked me the fucked out.

I do my best to keep it together because I know there are people with a much worse medical history but I am just broken. I am always in pain. But I'm trying to keep going. I worked to hard to give up and become bed bound, but I know there will come a time when this won't be something I can stop.

I had to get this off my chest as I am sure my partner is sick of hearing it as he's living with it daily while being with me. And I know it upsets my mum, she feels guilty for some reason.

But yeah, that's the update. This is why I go missing but school holidays is when I can come back more often

#arthritis #fibromyalgia #hip replacement #spoonie #spoon #spooneys #disabled #pain #Myelitis #Dysplastic #dysplasia #health

9 notes · View notes

sporticus1234 · 3 years

Text

Catch Me if You Can-Laws of Attraction (Part 1)

Summary: After weeks of flirting, teasing, and close calls, Tessa is ready to take the plunge, but can Gabe overcome his own worse fears and join her?

Pairing: Gabe Ricci x Main Character (Tessa Michaels)

Link to my Master-List and Other works will be added once they have been re-edited and re-uploaded.

Perma-Tags and LOA Tags: @choices-addict @choiceskatie @lady-calypso @chemist-ana @kat-tia801 @chrissythadon @nishas-paradise @blainehellyes @mm2305 @suitfer @thegreentwin @pixelnutrookie

I hope you all enjoy it and see you soon for some...adventures...in part 2.

__________________________________

Rather than clumsy words, it’s your action that I believe. Don’t stop. Go past the limit. Go faster. I’m going to find my heart. So catch me if you can.

-Girls Generation, Catch Me if You Can (Korean Ver.)

__________________________________

The once glittering ballroom filled with stimulating conversation, flowing bubbles of champagne, and decadent hor-dourves was now deserted and quiet, signaling the end of the extravagant weekend legal conference. As the last person Tessa was speaking to excused herself for the evening, she looked around the empty space littered with discarded champagne flutes and linen napkins, her spirits deflating at the sight. The conference ended as quickly as it began, and come Monday morning, she would be back in the office, the competition still at the forefront of everyone’s minds.

It may have been a short weekend, but Tessa was grateful for the time away from the office. The past few weeks were filled with nothing else but case after case coming one after another and nonstop talk about the competition, particularly from Martin. But for a tiny period of time, all of that vanished out of sight and out of mind. She laughed and joked with her colleagues and bosses like they were all good friends. She camped and ate smores in a beautiful forest, and she finally got her first full night of sleep since she started working at McGraw Byrne. She truly felt like she had been transported to a completely different world, one she found hesitant to leave behind for an entire year.

Stifling the yawn sneaking up on her, she left the ballroom behind, her spirits still thrumming with excitement from the evening, but her body yearning for a soak in a hot bath and some sleep in the oversized hotel bed. She was halfway across the empty lobby, gilded elevator doors in sight, when her feet came to a stop outside of the hotel’s bar. She didn’t even have to look to know exactly who was sitting in that dimly lit bar. He had a larger-than-life presence, no matter what room he was in, that was like a magnet, drawing everyone’s attention, even if he was just randomly passing by on the sidewalk.

Her tiredness completely forgotten, she hovers near the entryway and discretely watches him. He’s sitting by himself at the bar, nursing what Tessa knows is a glass of scotch on the rocks along with a basket of half-eaten chips and dip, his eyes occasionally flicking up to the large screen TV showing a basketball game taking place on the other side of the country. His jacket is discarded on the back of his chair, his tie loosened slightly and the buttons of his shirt rakishly undone at the top. Despite his disheveled, executive blowing off steam look, he is still just as handsome and attractive as he was just a short time ago when he was polished and buttoned up. Maybe even more.

A small smile tugs at the corners of her lips as she watches him. Gabe was such a surprise when she first came to New York, and she never expected to become so charmed by him. The man has such a lavish and lively personality on the outside, but on the inside is a man driven to be the best and passionate about using his vast knowledge to help everyone. His heart is as big as his office, a welcoming, refreshing contrast to the selfishness Tessa sees too often in this line of work. They have only known each other for a short time, but every time he came around, he put a smile on her face and made her stomach flip-flop. She couldn’t explain why he has such a pleasant effect on her. Perhaps it’s the way that when she flirts with him, he flirts right back with the same energy she gives him, maybe even more. Maybe it’s the way the two of them click when they’re together. Or maybe it’s the way he continues to keep her on her toes and excite her yet still make her feel a sense of comfort and familiarity at the same time. Regardless of the reasons, the one thing she was certain of was that she didn’t want this fluttering feeling to stop. Ever.

“Of course, you would be alone at a bar,” Tessa teases as she steps towards him.

Gabe swivels his head around at the sound of her voice, his eyes immediately catching hers as she approaches him. His lips twist into a grin, his spirits lifting like they always do whenever she is around. “Am I really that predictable?”

Tessa shrugs. “Maybe a little. But you wouldn’t be the Gabe Ricci we all know and love if you weren’t.”

Gabe chuckles. “Most people wouldn’t agree with you on that statement.”

“I’m not most people,” she fires back with a wink.

No, you are most definitely not Gabe thought. “What exactly are you doing still wandering around?” He glances down towards his watch, mildly surprised to find it still somewhat early. “The cocktail party ended almost an hour ago. I figured you would be in bed like everyone else.”

“I planned on it, but then I saw this guy sitting all by himself in this empty hotel bar and thought he could use some company.”

Gabe’s eyes twinkle with delightful mischief as he takes another sip of his scotch. He was hoping the two of them could spend some more time together before the madness hit them Monday morning. “I think I know who you’re talking about. And I, for one, know that he would love to have some company, especially if the company happens to be you.”

Tessa gives him a shy smile as she slips into the bar stool next to him. An electrical, buzzing warmth fills up the space around them as butterflies flutter in her stomach at the near closeness to him, the scent of his cologne invading her senses and tempting her to come even closer. As she peruses the small menu, the lone bartender comes over and places a napkin down in front of her.

“Anything to eat or drink?”

“A Manhattan please.”

The bartender nods before turning to Gabe. “Another refill for you, sir?”

“Please,” Gabe replies. “And put her Manhattan on my tab as well.”

The bartender grabs Gabe’s empty glass and heads down to the other end of the bar. Once he’s fully out of hearing range, Tessa turns to face Gabe. “You didn’t have to do that,” she says. “I am more than capable of paying for my own drinks.”

“I know you could pay for it,” Gabe responds before his lips curl into his trademark sly smirk, “or you could let Sadie pay for it.”

“Wait, what?”

Gabe nods, his smirk growing bigger. “Consider it another partner-only secret. This conference is one of the few events Sadie lets us have more…leeway…with the company credit card. Any food or drinks we buy at this conference gets covered by the firm.”

“And something tells me you’re taking full advantage of that offer,” Tessa says.

Gabe gives her a wink. “What can I say? A good attorney knows a good offer when they see it.”

“In that case,” Tessa flags down the bartender again. “I’ll do an order of the spicy fried pickle chips with that Manhattan.” The bartender nods and disappears into a back room. Tessa turns her head, seeing Gabe looking at her with an amused expression on his face. “What’s that look for?”

Gabe chuckles, shaking his head. “Just wondering if I’m going to regret sharing that secret with you.”

“Don’t worry,” Tessa grins at him. “Your secret is safe with me. But if Sadie cuts us off or starts questioning anything on the credit card bills, I’m placing the full blame on you.”

The two of them continue to make small talk until the bartender comes back a few minutes later. He places their drinks and her basket of food down before excusing himself and shuffling into the back room once again. Tessa grabs her glass and holds it up in a toast, prompting Gabe to do the same.

“To drinks on someone else’s dime,” she states.

The two of them share a laugh as they clink their glasses together. Tessa takes a sip of her drink, the whiskey a sharp contrast to the bubbly champagne of the reception. The liquid pools like fire in her stomach and flows throughout her body, warming her up and loosening her muscles. “Best Manhattan I’ve ever had.”

Gabe cocks his eyebrow. “Is it really the best?”

“Oh, not by a long shot. But since I didn’t have to pay for it, I consider it the best in my book.”

“You really are a woman after my own heart,” Gabe replies. Tessa tucks her gaze away from him, feeling her face grow hot at the combination of the whiskey and his spell-binding charm. She takes another sip of her drink before sliding the basket of pickle chips towards him. He throws her an appreciative “thanks”, taking a chip and popping it into his mouth before continuing their conversation. “How did you enjoy the conference?”

“I really liked it,” Tessa answers. “I never got the chance to do things like this with my old law firm.”

“What? Have free food and drinks on someone else’s dime with a devastatingly handsome senior partner?”

Tessa shoves him with a laugh. “No, you complete smart ass. I meant going out to events and connecting with other people.” She absentmindedly picks the coating off a pickle chip, her mind reminiscing. “Don’t get me wrong. I love my hometown, but there was no excitement in my life. It was the same boring routine every single day.”

“Sounds like you and McGraw Byrne are a perfect match.”

Tessa nods. “Honestly, I really have you to thank. If you didn’t recommend hiring me to Sadie, I still would be stuck in the same boring routine. It sounds really sappy, but you really did change my life for the better…in more ways than one.”

The raw honesty in her voice tugs at his heartstrings, his lips twitching into another smile. He’s used to hearing those words come from his clients, but hearing those words come from her just felt…different, and it made him feel something he couldn’t quite place his finger on.

“You’re very welcome,” Gabe earnestly tells her. “I wouldn’t have recommended you if I didn’t think you were a stellar attorney. You deserve to be here just as much as everyone else, and I truly mean that. McGraw Byrne needed someone like you. Hell, the legal world needs more attorneys like you.”

“What? Sappy and sentimental ones?”

“No,” Gabe says, stifling his chuckle. “I meant attorneys who are passionate about their job and passionate about connecting with people. So many attorneys don’t take the time to really understand or listen to their clients. Having someone like you, someone who actually connects with clients and goes above and beyond to help them, really does make a world of difference.” Gabe takes a pickle chip and pops it into his mouth. “But I really am happy you decided to take Sadie up on her offer to join us, even if the past few days have given you plenty of good reasons to quit.”

Tessa blows out a harsh breath, knowing exactly what Gabe was referring to. “Yeah, they have been quite…challenging.”

“I meant to ask you earlier, but how’re you holding up?”

Tessa sighs, dragging her fingertip over the rim of her glass. “Honestly, I’m still pissed that Beau stole the credit from me in front of everyone, but I should’ve expected someone to pull that stunt sooner or later.” She blinks back a tear trying to escape. “It just sucks to be the one it happens to.”

“I know, and I truly am sorry Beau pulled such a dick move on you.” He sympathetically lays a gentle hand on her bare shoulder, the touch sending comfort through her veins. “If I could’ve done something to make it better, I would’ve done it in a heartbeat.”

“I know you would’ve, but I do appreciate you not saying anything to Sadie.”

He shrugs. “Wasn’t my place to tell her. Besides,” he takes his hand off her shoulder, already missing the feel of her smooth, soft skin, “the only thing it would’ve done was make you and me look bad in front of Sadie.”

“Sounds like someone has personal experience.”

Gabe runs a hand through his hair. “Happened to me once back in my early legal days, but instead of getting the credit and respect that I rightfully deserved, I got told off for being a bad ‘team player’ and trying to take someone else’s credit.”

“That’s so unfair,” she practically spits.

Gabe lets out a bitter, humorless guffaw. “Preaching to the choir on that one. You’ll find that every group will have one person who will do none of the work or the one person that will take credit for anything and everything. Fortunately for us, Beau happens to be both of those assholes wrapped up in one, so we save a lot on payroll.”

Tessa laughs weakly at his joke, the sting of Beau’s betrayal still fresh in her mind. “Thanks for trying to make me feel better. It just sucks knowing that Sadie is always going to believe that Beau solved the case.”

“If it’s any consolation, I’m still incredibly proud of you, even if Sadie never knows the truth.”

“You…are?” she asks, surprise etched on her face as she turns her body towards him.

“Absolutely,” Gabe says, no hesitation in his voice. “Without you, we possibly would’ve never solved it to begin with, nor would Lydia have thought to make Joey sign a prenup. But what really impressed me was how you were the only one to step up and take initiative when needed. Not many of the senior partners would go to such lengths for a teenager like Lydia, but you did.”

“I guess,” Tessa mutters. “I just hope it will be enough come Monday.”

“It will be,” Gabe assures her as he steals another pickle chip.

“Really? I figured Sadie would shove Beau to the top of the rankings after he basically saved the firm.”

“Everyone in that room knows who really saved the firm, and it wasn’t Beau,” Gabe points out. “Even if Sadie believes he did, she’s also smart enough to know that one win, no matter how big it is, isn’t enough to judge how good an attorney is or will become. Beau may have stolen one win, but you’re still the one to beat.”

“I guess that’s true…”

“Plus, you showed her tonight how well you bounce back after taking a loss.”

“What do you mean?”

“Between moot court, the pro bono cases, the vaccine trial, and everything else we’ve observed, you had a major winning streak that Beau decided to snap. Most people would sulk in their losses, but you didn’t. You showed up tonight, looking incredible might I add, and managed to put everything behind you to impress the right group of people.”

“If you say so.”

“I know so,” Gabe confidently replies. He reaches out and covers her hand with his, trying to ignore the tingling buzzes on his skin. “You’re a wickedly smart attorney, Tessa. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.”

“Thanks Gabe,” she says, the goofy smile plastering on her face at his heartfelt compliment. “That…that really means a lot to me.”

“It should,” Gabe tells her, reluctantly pulling his hand away again. “I wouldn’t have said it if it wasn’t the absolute truth. Just forget about Vegas and the Rothswells and continue onto the next case.”

Tessa nods and takes another sip of her drink as the conversation between them dies down. She may have already forgotten the Rothswells and was slowly getting over from Beau’s stolen win, but Vegas was still on her mind. It wasn’t just the city that occupied her thoughts, but rather, it was the small wedding chapel and the night she played fiancée to the man sitting next to her. That night was an intense roller coaster of emotions, desires, and confusion; it was a night where lines became blurred and questions began to arise at the nature of her and Gabe’s relationship. It was one specific little interaction that made Tessa not only sense a shift in their relationship, but triggered her to start over analyzing and over thinking every little action from their first meeting up until now.

“Nothing but the best for the most stunning woman on the Strip.”

“Alvin’s gone, you know. You don’t have to—”

He raises a finger to her lips, laying it softly against them as he gives her a smoldering look that makes her throat dry up. “What if I want to, Tessa?”

Tessa truly felt at that moment they were no longer pretending. The things he said to her that night with such conviction in his eyes and voice. The way he softly caressed and touched her with such adoration and tenderness. The way his breath tickled her lips and sent shivers throughout her body at their near-kisses. They were not things done by someone just “pretending”; no one was that good of an actor. However, despite his actions in the wedding chapel, there was one moment that made her second guess herself completely. Just as she was about to admit her feelings for him, he brusquely cut her off and completely changed the direction of the conversation. What punctuated that gut-wrenching action was him dropping her hand quickly, as if he had been burned by her touch. The cocktail of mixed signals made her head pound in dizzying confusion, and it was becoming difficult to ignore for much longer.

She glances over at Gabe, worrying her lip between her teeth and mentally debating whether or not to step into that territory of complete openness. She has a nice, working relationship with him, and she doesn’t want to risk making it awkward to be around him if he truly doesn’t feel anything towards her. On the other hand, she wants to know for her own sake of mind; she has to know if Gabe’s confusing behavior and mixed signals mean anything. They’re off the clock, away from the office, with no interruptions coming between them. It’s the perfect opportunity to air everything out, and hopefully come Monday, there would be no more confusion or misunderstandings.

“Speaking of Vegas…” Tessa mumbles, carefully avoiding his eyes. “I think we should talk.”

Gabe’s spine stiffens in alert at the sudden shift in her demeanor. “About…what, exactly?”

She takes a deep breath, knowing it was too late to steer this conversation in another direction. “About what happened at the wedding chapel.”

“Ah,” Gabe interjects, “that was some brilliant thinking on your part, with the rat and all.”

“That wasn’t the part I wanted to talk about.” She turns her head to look at him. “I wanted to talk about the whole ‘pretend’ couple in love situation.”

“What was wrong with it?” he asks her, his nerves starting to creep up on him.

“Nothing,” she quickly replies. “I was just thinking…what you said…” She takes another deep breath, preparing herself to blurt it out before she lost her nerve. “Did you ever have a moment where…you didn’t think it was pretend?”

Depends on what your answer is going to be. “What do you mean?”

“I know the whole situation was supposed to be pretend in order to get a copy of Lydia’s marriage license, but…some of the things you said…and did…” her ears grow hot as a shiver races down her spine at the memory of Gabe’s gentle caress on her wrist, the pure intimacy behind it.

“Didn’t seem like pretend?” he finishes.

“Yeah.”

“And what do you think?”

Tessa sits there silently contemplating her answer. Up until this point, Tessa never had any reason to doubt Gabe. He is a man who never makes anyone second guess his true intentions or meanings. Every word he speaks is nothing short of the truth. But his reaction on the Strip was the first time she questioned his true intentions. If Gabe did mean what he said, then why did he quickly divert the conversation and act like he couldn’t stand to be around her? Her inner conscience was waving a massive red flag in front of her, but when Gabe gripped her chin and turned her head to focus on him, she caught herself slipping back into the warm pools of his chocolate-colored orbs.

“I really hope you weren’t pretending,” she softly says, voice barely above a whisper.

Gabe feels his stomach lurch at her confession, and the corners of his mouth tug up into a small smile at her answer. Gabe wasn’t going to lie. From the minute she stepped into the office, he became fascinated with her. She was beautiful, but what caught his attention was the way she introduced herself to the others. She was the only one who stood up and spoke with such confidence and conviction about winning the partnership that he would’ve given the spot to her immediately if his name was on the building.

“That’s because I wasn’t.”

Her eyes widen. “Wh…what?”

His thumb skates over her bottom lip, gently tugging it downwards, her breath hitching at the intense, smoldering look in his eyes. “I wasn’t pretending in the wedding chapel. I truly wanted to tell you that you were the most stunning woman on the Strip because you were, and I will always think you’re the most stunning woman I will ever come across.”

“And last night?”

“I still mean it,” he tells her, taking his hand away. “I really do enjoy spending time with you, and I want to spend whatever time I have with you and only you.”

“Good.” Tessa covers his hand with hers, the electric current running between them turning into tingling shivers chasing each other up and down her spine. “Because I really, really like spending time with you too.”

The smile on his face grows bigger, turning into the most genuine one he’s ever had with someone else. Their fingers tentatively move and twist together, the air buzzing with energy just waiting to be released. A sigh of relief floods through him once he sees their hands joined together. He feared he overstepped that night in Vegas, especially since he was sharply reminded of how Tessa flirted with the fireman a few weeks ago for her eviction case. But sitting here now, their confessions out in the open, their hands joined together, made all of it real.

“So where do we go from here?”

Gabe furrows his brow. “What do you mean?”

“We just admitted we like each other, Gabe,” Tessa states like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “The question is, what comes next? Are we together? Do we see where this goes?”

Gabe bit the inside of his cheek at her question, the bliss from earlier now getting replaced with dread and guilt. He knows exactly what he wants to do next. He wants to invite her to his hotel room tonight, spend hours tangled in the silk sheets together, then wake up and do it all again tomorrow morning. He wants to take her out to dinner tomorrow night and treat her to the most decadent food in the city while he teases and touches her until she can no longer bear it. He wants to be openly affectionate with her in the office…and maybe do a few more things behind the closed doors of his office. But he can’t, and he knew the exact reasons why.

The first reason was the more obvious one. She is currently in the competition for a junior partnership, and he is the one overseeing it and potentially making the final decision on who takes his former position. They are co-workers, and while Sadie has no real binding rule that co-workers cannot date or see each other outside of work, Gabe knows there will always be a cloud of doubt and speculation hovering over Tessa if the office discovers they are seeing each other and she wins the junior partnership. Gabe was already beating himself up for what happened between her and Beau; he would never be able to forgive himself if he was the cause of ruining her reputation and the potential she has at becoming the next great attorney. How could he look himself in the mirror every morning if this blows back up in their faces?

But the less obvious reason was a hidden secret, one that he hasn’t shared with anyone else. It was the one reason that stopped him from taking her up to his penthouse in Vegas and doing all the things he fantasizes about doing with her. It was the one reason for the walls Gabe built up over the years that no one else has been able to break down. It was the one reason that prevented Gabe from crossing the lines he wanted to cross. As easy as it would be to cross them tonight with nothing stopping them, he knows he has to make the tough decision, not only to protect her, but also to protect himself. He just hopes it doesn’t change anything between them.

“As much as I would love for us to be together,” he runs his thumb soothingly over her knuckles, already feeling guilty for what he was about to say to her, “I don’t think it would be wise to pursue it.”

“O…oh,” the smile on her face falters at his stinging rejection.

“It’s not that I don’t want you,” Gabe quickly assures her.

“Sure feels that way,” she blurts out with a bitter laugh.

Gabe sighs and scrubs a hand down his face. “You’re stunning Tessa, and whatever would happen between us would be so goddamn mind-blowing, because I know exactly what I’d do with a girl like you.”

As much as his rejection stings, the dark tendrils of desire twist and twirl together inside at the sound of that highly promising and exciting invitation, the rush of desire making her shift in her seat at the tingling sensation. However, his tone tells her he was about to say one little three-letter word that was going to take the invitation back and make the rejection even worse.

"But...?"

Gabe shakes his head and averts his eyes from the pain blooming in hers. “We can’t act on it. I can’t act on it.”

“You can’t or you won’t?”

“I…can’t,” he relents. He untangles their fingers and pulls his hand back to his side of the bar, no matter how painful it is for him to do so. “You already saw how low Sadie’s own blood would go to push himself ahead. Just imagine how low the others would go if they suspected—”

“You and I were seeing each other?”

Gabe nods, a small twinge of relief pricking his heart at her understanding. “Opportunities like this bring the worst out in people.”

“Considering I just had firsthand experience on how shitty people can be, I do understand it.” She takes another drink of her Manhattan, the sting now turning into simmering annoyance. “What I don’t understand is why us being together is now such a big deal for you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m just saying, you didn’t seem too concerned with people seeing us together or what they thought when we went to Hoi On and that business dinner you specifically invited me to,” Tessa shrugs. “I’m just curious about the change of heart all of a sudden.”

“I didn’t have a change of heart. Those situations were entirely different.”

“Different how?”

Gabe pauses for a second to gather his thoughts. He had to tread lightly going forward, or else any chance the two of them had with each other in the future was going to be destroyed. “When I invited you to Hoi On, the other associates weren’t in the office. I knew Aislinn wasn’t going to say anything to Sadie, so no one was going to question why I brought you there.”

“And the business dinner?”

“It truly was supposed to be a business dinner and an opportunity for you to network yourself,” Gabe admits. “I didn’t know beforehand that he was going to cancel on me, and as far as the office is concerned, no one knows that he canceled on me, so everyone still suspects the three of us had that business dinner.”

“But then…oh…” Tessa trails off, another wave of disappointment crashing into her chest. “I get it.”

“You do?”

She nods. “You’re embarrassed to be seen with me. I get it. The senior associate and the top senior partner being seen together would hurt your image with the other partners.”

A tinge of frustration punches his gut. “That’s not what I mean. I’m not embarrassed to be seen with you. If I was, I wouldn’t have invited you to join me at the lake.”

“Good point,” Tessa tells him. “You certainly didn’t mind taking me out to the lake last night with Sadie and the other associates sitting around.”

“That was different too,” Gabe bluntly responds. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Then help me to understand,” she sighs, exasperated.

“There’s no point in tell you,” Gabe shoots back. “You’re intelligent and observant, Tessa. You know exactly why we can’t pursue…whatever there is between us.”

“The only thing standing in the way of pursuing whatever is between us is you,” Tessa points out.

He runs his hands through his disheveled hair again. “It’s not that I want to stand in the way of us. There’s so many reasons on why we shouldn’t pursue this.”

“Well, so far, you haven’t given me one that we can’t find a way to work around. So please enlighten me, Mr. Ricci,” she crosses her arms over her chest and gives him a hard stare. “Is your reasoning really about the partnership and my reputation, or is it about something more?”

As Gabe sits there in silence, Tessa’s mind flashes back to their previous interactions. Last night was the most unguarded she has seen Gabe since she started working at McGraw Byrne. The business dinner was the first time the two of them ever got physically close to each other. Vegas was the first time the two of them were fixing to jump across those boundaries and become one. But each time, Gabe pulled back, and his action spoke volumes. And with the way Gabe was currently avoiding meeting her gaze head on and how his fingers are tightly gripping his empty scotch glass makes the light bulb go off in her head. There was another reason Gabe was hiding, one that has to do entirely with himself. She just has to hope that she is important enough for him to be honest with her.

“Well?”

Gabe sighs. “It really is about the partnership,” he lies, firmly keeping his gaze locked on the bar top. “The partnership is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and you shouldn’t waste it or throw it away.”

The air turns icy and frigid at his words. Tessa grabs her clutch off the bar top, knowing there was no more reason for her to still be around. “You may be able to bullshit other people, Gabe, but you’re not going to bullshit me. You and I both know this is more than just the partnership, and out of respect for your privacy, I’m not going to pry. Only you can make the decision to share it with me, but until you do, I think it’s best to forget whatever we feel for each other.”

Tessa gives his hand a soft pat before downing the rest of her drink and sliding off the bar stool. Before she could go far, Gabe’s hand reaches out and wraps around her wrist.

“Tessa…”

“Don’t worry about it, Gabe,” she says, gently prying his fingers off her wrist. “I’m honestly a little hurt and disappointed that you can’t be honest with me, but I’m not mad at you.” She places a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I really do like you, Gabe, but I also like and respect myself too much to go after someone who isn’t as crazy about me as I am about them, nor will I go after someone who keeps pulling back when I want to get closer.”

“That’s not—"

She ignores his plea, digging into her clutch and pulling out a platinum-looking card. “You know where to find me when you make up your mind and have an answer for me, but don’t expect me to be waiting around forever for it.”

She places the card down on the bar top; with a sad smile, she brushes past him and heads out of the hotel bar, the tears stinging the corners of her eyes. Gabe watches her figure retreat until she disappears behind the gilded elevator doors.

“Dammit!” he slams a fist against the bar top. The empty glasses jump a little at the impact, but what catches his attention was the quick flash of light reflected on the platinum card as it jumped into the air. Gabe reaches out and slides it towards him, his spirits deflating even more when he sees what she left.

The spare key to her room.

To anyone else, it may be just a room key, but Gabe knows that it is so much more meaningful than that. It symbolizes the key to her heart and the key to their future together, a key that would only work for a short amount of time until Tessa closes both of those doors on him. The decision to walk through those open doors was entirely in his hands, but before he could do that, he has to make one other decision. The time had come for him to do the one thing he has avoided doing for years, the one decision he found easy to avoid until tonight.

It was time for him to confront himself and his fears.

__________________________________

This was going to go up a lot sooner, but because my job decided to go through some technology changes recently, it meant something that previously worked is now broken and no longer works. Unfortunately, that was me this time around, so my usual break times where I work on stories was used to help fix what someone else broke.

Sorry about the delay, but I really do anticipate part 2 being uploaded soon, much sooner than LOA coming back from its hiatus.

For all of you who have read this story and made it this far, thank you so much for your support! It means more to me than you could ever imagine!

I love you all so much!

Second Chance Tagging in case Tumblr becomes Tumbroke again: @choices-addict @choiceskatie @lady-calypso @chemist-ana @kat-tia801 @chrissythadon @nishas-paradise @blainehellyes @mm2305 @suitfer @thegreentwin @pixelnutrookie

#choices #laws of attraction #choices laws of attraction #gabe ricci x mc #gabe x mc #loa #choices loa

117 notes · View notes

twdmusicboxmystery · 3 years

Text

TWD 11x05: Out of the Ashes - Details

Okay, let's talk details of 11x05.

***As always, spoilers abound below for 11x05. Don’t read until you’ve watched!***

We start with Aaron's dream. First of all, there's the full moon. Remember that Still had a full moon at the beginning, and every time we saw Beta on the outside, such as singing or walking with walkers, it often showed a full moon. In Beta's case, it's probably because his nickname as a singer was Half Moon, but he also had a lot of Beth symbolism around him. I think it’s likely that the reason they gave the name Half Moon was to indicate Beth symbolism.

Then, Aaron says to Gracie, "we’re almost home." Part of the home theme, and also kind of showed me that this was a dream. There's absolutely no reason why Aaron would randomly be outside the walls with Gracie at night. I don't have a whole lot more to add to the scene than what I said yesterday. I do believe it's a foreshadow of something happening with Gracie, but it also may be a foreshadow of other things that are coming, including stuff with Beth.

This is kind of a funny detail, but I have to say that I love the Jerry bit at the beginning. We see him tiptoeing over people, trying not to wake them on his way to the bathroom. So, we have an entire sequence that can be summed up as, "Jerry pees.” ;D

The next thing we saw was the Commonwealth video. The really cheesy one with Lance Hornsby that we saw in the trailer. Some of the symbols we saw in that video were interesting. Such as a bunny cake (rabbit theme), someone playing a guitar (Beth played a guitar in 5x09),

ice cream (both Eugene and Stephanie talked about ice cream and it became sort of a Bethyl theme, especially because there were so much Bethyl symbolism around them during those conversations; also, Daryl had his “I never” about frozen yogurt in Still). We see a plaque that says, "The Great War,” (probably a reference to World War I, but also part of the Revolution/War theme).

There was also a blond, Beth-lookalike nurse in blue scrubs. 👀

I also noticed that the Commonwealth badge looks a lot like the UK flag. Not so much in its shape or design, but rather the colors. It's got the same red and blue shades as the United Kingdom flag. Remember that we saw the UK flag around Juliet Ormonde's character in the world beyond. So, we think it's a symbol of the war to come with the CRM.

When Yumiko goes into the bakery looking for her brother, there's a song playing called “Three Speed Girl.” It was just the three that caught my attention. (Look up lyrics). They all a lot of apples in the bakery. Not real apples but glass, decorative ones. Not only Apple theory, but specifically what apples represent.

I've theorized before that the apples could represent separation between loved ones. For example, in 6x14, we see Michonne and Rick wake up together in the room and they both eat an apple. I came to believe that was a foreshadow of Rick leaving in S9 and two of them being separated. @frangipanilove, however, explained it differently. She says that rather than them being separated, she thinks apples represent them coming back together. As then, a reunion after the separation.

I know that sounds like the opposite of what I explained, but really all amounts to the same thing. The kind of separation that I mentioned is what we see with Rick and Michonne being separated, Beth and Daryl being separated, perhaps even Carol and Zeke being separated (if he does, in fact, get a death fake out). And that's always going to result in a reunion down the road. So if we explain as a separation, it will always lead to a reunion. And if we explain as a reunion, it in order for reunion to take place, there must've been a separation first. See what I mean? You can explain it either way.

So, the apples make total sense in the scene. Yumiko has been separated from her brother for a long time. She said it's been years because the two of them were somewhat estranged, even before the apocalypse happened. And now, in this episode, we see a reunion. So, I think were spot on about the Apple symbolism.

As for Beth, we didn't actually see her eat an apple. I think that would've been too on-the-nose. But, given the Snow White symbolism, or template of her arm falling, remember that Snow White ate an apple, which was poisonous, just before we fell she fell and we saw her arm. So, if TWD is using the apple to represent separation, we didn't actually see Beth eat one, but her arm falling like that represents the Snow White template, and right after that, we see her separation from Daryl and the rest of TF. I think it lines up rather well.

When Eugene and Stephonie are walking around, we see a white horse drawing a mail truck. It's a combination of several very potent symbols. We talked about white horses before and how they represent Beth, and life. Then there's the mail or Communication theme. We've seen so many mailboxes on the show, and this was a horse drawing a mail truck. I’ll talk more about the mailbox theme in a few days. Just keep this in mind for now. They're very purposeful symbols and they do represent specific things in the show.

I also noticed that Stephonie is wearing red rimmed glasses. Remember how last week I talked about how Norman was wearing some funky glasses on TTD? Sorry to keep teasing but this is another thing I’ll post about later in the week. I was going to anyway, so seeing the glasses here jumped out at me. For now, just notice that Stephonie is wearing these and they’re red.

When Stephonie decides to help them talk on the radio, they go into the train station. Of course, there are no actual trains running, but the train is a very potent symbol. It's actually being used more as a civic building, and the group tries to be innocuous, though it's obvious they're up to something. Stephonie and Eugene walked calmly through the building while Princess and Zeke take up positions down in the common lobby area. Meanwhile, Mercer is watching them.

Princess tries to head him off and we have a humorous moment where she tries to flirt with him, and tells him he has beautiful eyelashes. It is not exactly the same thing as the eye theme, but I could almost see them going for the eye theme, but twisting it for the sake of humor, because, well, it's Princess. So, she goes with beautiful eyelashes.

Eugene does manage to get on the radio with Rosita, who tells him the Whisper War is over. They only talk for a moment or two before they lose the feed. Once again, I think that was very purposeful on Commonwealth's part. I think they allowed him to connect with Rosita, but only for a short time before interrupting the feed and bursting into arrest him.

Meanwhile, back in Alexandria, I noticed that Judith asks, "Is he gone?" I sat and thought about this line for a little bit. Obviously, it's the “gone” theme. Usually, the way TWD always uses someone being "gone" to mean that they have disappeared for short time but will return. Very often they are presumed dead. That's why Daryl's, "she's just gone" about Beth is so important. Also, her line to him, "you're going to miss me so bad when I'm gone."

In this case, I don't think either Judith or Rosita suspect that Eugene is actually dead. She just means did they lose him on the radio feed. And here's something that occurred to me what was thinking about this. It's actually very common when someone loses communication with someone else via radio or walkie-talkie to use the phrase, "get them back." So, something like, "see if you can get them back," or, "I'll get them back." In that context, it just means to raise them on the radio again and reestablish a connection so they can communicate.

The reason this is interesting is that Daryl has said this more than once about Beth or people who were kidnapped. In 5x06 when he was with Carol, he was talking about Beth and said they would observe Grady and then do whatever they needed to do to get her back. I know they also said something similar about Sasha when she was taken by the saviors, and Sasha had massive parallels to Beth during her death arc. So, that had never occurred to me before, but it's almost like they specifically took that line about “getting them back” from radio lingo and are applying it to Beth.

When talking about whether to go to Hilltop, Aaron mentioned that he didn't want to abandon ship. So, a water/ship reference, but it's also close to something Abraham said in 5x05 about going down with the ship.

When they get out Hilltop, I noticed that we have a shot of the water tower, which is now burnt. When they start questioning Keith, he says that Alpha is dead, and someone says that all that does is prove that “he has eyes.” Earlier in Alexandria, Aaron said, “Eyes open.” I know these are really small potatoes references, but there were a LOT of eye mentions in this episode.

A couple of things where Negan and Maggie are concerned. When they get to this house, the cars out front are really interesting. There's a red car out front, which reminded me a lot of the red car that was seen during the filming of the missing 17 days in season five. There are also just a lot of cars with doors or hatchbacks open, which represent the door being opened in 5x09, when Beth disappeared. The hatchback being open can represent the trunk being open. So, just kind of some interesting symbols.

I also thought it was cool that Judith is teaching other kids how to fight.

I think that’s it for Details. Anything I missed?

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

16 notes · View notes

insomniziam · 2 years

Note

Not sure where the narrative started about Zendaya and Tom being a PR relationship started, but they quietly dated back in 2018 or so and recently got back together. Yes they were "outed" by paparazzi last year, but they were able to date for years without speculation. Skai Jackson's mom randomly confirmed it in someone's instagram comment in 2018. All of this is easily searchable. Ik we focus on the boys being in PR relationships, but touting everything as PR when it's genuine, isn't right. Getting a positive reaction from the general public because of your relationship doesn't mean the relationship is fake or manufactured. We can't be so quick to name things what they aren't, because where do you draw the line? That means every Hollywood/Industry relationship is PR if we perpetuate this narrative

Yeah, idk nonnie, to me the timing is really suspicious.

They conveniently have it *leaked* right before or during the promo for the latest Spiderman movie, and then it kept going during the promo for Euphoria. Also the fact that they've done this same stunt with literally every Spiderman couple is just another obvious red flag.

I haven't done a crazy amount of research into Tom and Zendaya, but from what I've seen they're chemistry seems a lot more friendship than it does romantic. But that could just be me 🤷‍♀️

I don't know if growing up in a Christian household just made me a sceptic of everything, but to me the majority of celebrity relationships are PR. I know that there are definitely legitimate celeb relationships - Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, Emily Blunt and John Krasinski, Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard, for instance.

But when it's a little too convenient - like they come from the same record label (Zayn and Perrie being the obvious one) or TV show/Movie (legitimately most acting couples both past and present) - for me it's a little hard to believe

My line gets drawn when I found out a celeb couple is dating and am actually surprised by it, because they don't need to promote their relationship all over social media and the gossip sites - like Brenda Song and Macaulay Culkin... Now that came out of left field 🤣

#answered asks #anonymous #pr relationships #stunts #tom and zendaya

6 notes · View notes

shirophantomvox · 3 years

Text

My thoughts about Lotor and his character. (Yes, read the entire thing)

Ok, I am going to ruffle some feathers with this post but that’s ok. We all will have different opinions about things. I’ve been debating on whether or not I should make this post because I know once the toxic fandom gets to it, they will try to bully me off of the internet. But no matter, I am going to say it anyway.

We all know who Prince Lotor is and for those of you that don’t know, let me give you the rundown.

He is the exiled son of Zarkon and Honerva (Haggar). He was sent away because he refused to blow up a planet and wanted to work with Ven’tar and her people instead of defeating them. This was seen as a sign of weakness to Zarkon and he wanted his son to react the same way he would. Throughout his time away from the Galra, he studied his Altean heritage and how he could get to Oriande. He is only called back because Zarkon is left in a coma and is unable to run the empire. Still, he is running the empire in a rather weird way. He’s running it while he is away...fighting Voltron...and trying to find the trans-reality comet. For me, Lotor’s motives have flip-flopped since the beginning and this is why I was very leery of his character. It raised several red flags. At first, he fought Voltron every time he saw them but then he randomly switches to working with them. Once he defeated Zarkon, this is when he and Voltron became “true” allies. True enough he provided them with correct intel on enemies but still…I didn’t trust him at all. When the team reached Oriande it was revealed that Lotor was half-Altean and this is when Allura seemed to trust him more than before. That’s when I was like: “oh no. Someone’s about to get hurt.” And guess what? I was right although I don’t like to be right sometimes. Lotor invites the team to Zarkon’s ship and this is where they find out about Oriande.

Now, one of the golden questions here is did Lotor actually like Allura, or did he use her? I do think he genuinely had feelings for her and that is why they “worked” together so much. She obviously must have liked him too to tell him all of the secrets regarding the alchemy (which was a stupid move). Why did Lotor self-destruct? Allura said he was more like Zarkon than she ever imagined. Well, that would hurt especially coming from someone that you truly had feelings for. That whole exchange was upsetting but here’s the kicker.

I would actually feel bad for Lotor if he hadn’t lied to her. He knew the moment he met her that he had been harvesting Altean quintessence from those who thought they were going to the colony. Shit, what if something happened to Allura and he did the same thing to her? That part would make anyone believe that he used not only her but the entire team. When I saw that scene I yelled: “I knew it!” When he tried reasoning with her for the last time, he blew it. Then again, that your fault, dude.

Let’s see here: Allura’s parents were technically killed, the planet was destroyed, had been asleep for 10,000 years just to find out that the very one that killed her parents was still alive. She had been through all of this heartbreak just to finally connect and trust someone that in the end truly broke her heart by lying.

The whole rift scene was...a lot. To sum things up, Lotor became power-hungry. I mean the girl of his dreams just rejected him several times. I guess he didn’t have anything to lose. He wanted all of the power so he got it right? About them leaving him in the rift...morally was it right? Absolutely not. Then again, if they saved him, he would have definitely “turned out more like Zarkon” than everyone thought, maybe worse.

In conclusion, I have a “love-hate” feeling for Lotor. I see that he was trying to make the empire better but I’m assuming his methods weren’t working so he turned to the dark side. In a way, he is like Zarkon, just much smarter about his actions.

I love drawing Lotor and Allura but my word still stands.

13 notes · View notes

timextoxhajima · 4 years

Audio

Playlist Feels

Member: ddeonghwa! :D (but not after the inception preview he’s not anymore >:( hmph i feel attacc’ed)

Genre: BIG FAT FLUFFS just ‘cause, maybe a little bit of 1950s vibes idk i’ll try lol, duchess you with villager seonghwa? maybe not...? ;)

Word Count: 4.9k

A/N: I love Cinderella so it’s safe to say that i’m going to draw a whole lot of inspiration from the movie. i may or may not sob while writing this.

“Love was just a glance away, a warm embracing dance away”

you don’t bother too much about the long, silky white gown you were supposed to be going to sleep in. it was crumpled into a ball, sitting at the edge of your bed. you knew if you asked a servant to help you get fitted, they’d probably run off to tell your father, the Duke of the Land your ancestors have been living on for generations.

you look at yourself in the large mirror of your chamber, everything in the space either gold, white or cream in color, and it sickened you.

what brought you comfort was the brown leather that you had around your feet and calves, and the black horse-riding jacket that hugged you around your torso.

it was the last night of your freedom before you were to be randomly married off to a prince from a faraway land, a prince from a kingdom who has promised yours gold, land, food and shelter.

it was too good of a deal for your parents to turn down.

you push open your balcony doors and walked out into the platform, looking past the bushes and looking at the stable in the far right behind the castle. this isn’t the first time you sneaked out of the castle, so it wasn’t difficult to get your feet over the arm rests of the balcony and onto the bricks that made up the place that you’ve called home for all your life.

you knew which bricks had roughed over edges and sides that stuck out for you to climb down. you don’t break a single drop of sweat by the time your feet reached the ground.

you were finally on Night, your horse. his coat was dark as its name.

the scent of the barn filled your nostrils, and you could only wonder what it would be like if you had a say in your future. if only you could tell your father how much you loved being in the barn, even if it meant cleaning after the animals.

the guards were easy to get past alone, but now that you were on an arabian black horse standing proudly at nearly 1.8m in the air, it was impossible to get past them without being noticed.

despite having an old, black coat covering your body, the only person who would ride Night was you, so it was easy to identify who was riding the most expensive horse out of the barn.

“wha-- m’lady!” the guards at the barn’s post had their hands outstretched, already beginning to run after you when the horse picked up its pace.

“don’t tell my father,” you pull on the reigns, slowing down only to look pitifully at them. “please. it’s my last night before my wedding and coronation.”

one guard was a man easily older than your father, and the other was his son. you look at the elder one with pleading eyes, knowing that he would be easily bought over with your expression.

“father!” the younger guard urges him to respond and request for you to get off the horse.

you bit the inside of your lips, hoping that he would let you go one last time. he watched you grow up in the castle, and tonight was the last night he had the chance of watching you run away from your responsibilities.

the elder guard sucks in a deep breath, his chest puffing outwards. his son sighs and looks away, already knowing what he was going to say.

“m’lady,” he bows with one arm across his stomach. “please return by sunrise. you know how the Duke is when things don’t occur at the times they are supposed to.”

you grin widely, your hair braided comfortably without the helmet, since you were already used to riding Night. he resumes a straight posture, his son already returned to his designated spot right outside the barn. you wave to the both of them before pulling on the reigns and galloping away into the forest.

you didn’t need to pull on Night’s reigns to direct him; he knew exactly where to go. there was already a trampled-down path in the grass, through the trees and past the bushes.

ever since the Duke and Duchess let you ride on your own on Night, you’ve been finding every small excuse or pocket of free time to ride out on your own, even if it meant in the middle of the night, even if it meant you being alone.

being surrounded by guards and fellow royal figures all day round even before you could utter your first word was the setting you grew up in.

you’ve lost count of all the times you’ve been caught in the barn feeding the horses with the barn care-taker when you were supposed to be at ballroom-dance lessons. you’ve lost count of the times you ran off to play with the commoners’ children in the concourse whenever you left the castle to do walkabouts in the village with the Duchess.

but you’ve resigned to your fate and responsibilities. tomorrow, you would be wed to a stranger for the sake of the kingdom’s future.

you reach the corner of a village far away from the kingdom, looking behind your shoulders as you entered the deserted town and you saw nothing but the flag that was stuck on the tallest tower of the castle.

the kingdom was built on a hill, so you could only guess how long you’ve been on Night, now that the only thing visible to you was the flag.

you dismount Night, giving him a pat on his neck and pulling out a carrot from a pouch by his body. you let him munch on the snack while pulling on his reigns, scouring through the roads of the almost empty town.

there were villagers walking about once in a while, most of them looking like servants restocking or moving large boxes. it was quiet, until you heard a crowd cheer from a bar around the corner.

you tie Night’s reigns to a post right outside the bar, looking around and noticing that the streets were lit up with amber kerosene lights hung up about every two metres or so.

you take off the kingdom’s badge from Night’s reigns and shoved it into his pouch, leaving his gold medallion around his neck on with his name on it. you hoped that the medallion was enough to convince anybody not to steal it.

stealing royal property was a offence punishable by death.

you push through the wooden doors of the bar, the light from inside flashing in your eyes almost instantaneously. though the weather outside was cool, but the atmosphere inside warmed you thoroughly.

your eyes naturally find the source of the cheering, and you notice a crowd around a single, young man who was busy aiming darts at a board. every throw hits either bullseye or somewhere just centimetres away from it.

“ho!” the crowd cheers, mugs and hands in the air. you couldn’t help but to smile at the lively energy that you’d never see in the castle. the young man turns around, and you catch a glimpse of his face.

his hair was long but neat, till his ears, parting near the middle of his head and he was wearing brown, full-length coat. you smile to yourself after you realised it looked like it was made from potato sacks.

he had bright eyes that reminded you of the cat that loved to hang around Night, and he had a smile that would’ve been enough to let him pass off as a prince.

“deals’ a deal!” someone yells from the bar counter, assuming that it was the owner of the bar. you expected him to come out with a tray of beer glasses, or a bag of coins, but instead, you see him hand the young man a bag of apples.

“anything to keep these people entertained,” he grins widely and proudly, earning another round of loud cheers and pats on the back from the villagers. he gets pulled to a table in the corner of the bar as the crowd dissipates, the energy still running high in your blood.

you grab a seat at the counter right where the bar owner was busy cleaning the surfaces and continuously serving drinks. the hood was still over your head, and you were hoping the silver buttons on the your horse-riding jacket wasn’t going to catch anybody’s attention.

“can i get you anything, m’lady?” the bar owner asks quietly without looking at you, hands still holding a rag and cleaning the interior of a mug. you look up cautiously at the man, blinking at his sharp ability to pick up on your identity. “your boots are made from premium leather. i noticed it when you first came in.”

you smile gently, watching as he pushes a mug across the smooth surface, and it stops right within your reach.

“should i be worried there’s a member of a royal family sitting in my bar, m’lady?” he eyes you with a cheeky grin, knowing that he’s caused several question marks to pop up above your head.

‘a royal family’?

“the royal family isn’t very fitting for me to use. this village has no kingdom, thus i’ve got no reason to even call you ‘m’lady’.”

you chuckle softly, taking a big gulp from the mug.

“so,” he grabs a stool from behind a counter, and sits opposite you, a mug of beer in hand as well. the oil on his face was causing light to reflect off him like light reflects off water. the sight was familiar, but you’ve never been in those shoes. never have you once needed to work till your skin was shiny from sweat and humidity. “what brings a member of a royal family here?”

“i am to be married off to a prince i haven’t met before in my life tomorrow.”

he laughs loudly at your summarised story, arms hugging his belly as he takes another gulp of the beer. you notice the young man from before waving good bye to the others and taking his leave.

you return your attention to the bar owner, who also gave the young man one final wave before looking at you again.

“see, this is why i never understand the villagers for wanting to be part of a royal family. sure, none of you need to lift a finger to earn a penny, but you don’t get to make any decisions for yourself.”

you laugh, almost agonisingly. he wasn’t wrong.

“look at me!” he says with wide eyes, arms stretched out to his sides as he presented his bar to you.

“look at us,” he leans forward and gestures to every other villager in the bar.

“we live our lives the way we want to, and though it might be exhausting, nothing feels better than well-deserved gains after hardwork.”

you were holding the handle of the mug and pushing it in circles, causing the liquid inside to swish around softly.

“but i never asked to be born into the royal family. i’d rather spend my days in the barn, taking care of my horse and the other animals.”

he leans back against the cabinet behind him, giving you a warm smile. the man might’ve a ton of tattoos on his arms and even one on his neck that disappears behind his old, worn out shirt, but this was the best conversation you’ve ever had with anybody since the last time you spoke to a commoner.

you finish your beer, face flushed bright pink but not enough to make you drunk. even if you were, Night knew the way back to the kingdom. the bar owner gets up to clear your mug, and you leave a small pouch with coins worth more than five times the price of the single mug of beer you got.

you adjust your cloak, making sure your hood was covering your entire head and your silver buttons weren’t easy to spot. but you pushed your way out of the bar, only to see the young man from before patting Night on his neck, feeding him an apple that you assumed he won from playing darts.

you wonder how long he’s been standing there, accompanying your horse. he left just minutes after you got your beer, and you’ve spent at least twenty minutes finishing the rest of it.

what was more surprising was that Night wasn’t moving a single inch. he was so used to being taken care of by you, that whenever he was around strangers, he’d neigh and whinny so much, it would be difficult to ignore.

you watch quietly, taking small steps towards your horse and the young man who looked like he was talking to Night.

you thought he hasn’t noticed you, but he opens his mouth to greet you without looking at you.

“arabian horse. gold medallion. baroness? countess? princess, maybe?”

you halted in your tracks, watching as he slowly turns his attention from Night to you. the potato sack that he wore over his head and his body was so long, that it looked more like a cape, now that you’ve seen him in full.

under the potato sack, he wore a simple black vest over a white, long-sleeved top. the leather boots he was wearing looked like they haven’t been cleaned or repaired in the last decade.

“silver buttons,” he points out, eyes planted to your torso where the cloak parted and exposed your horse-riding jacket.

“which kingdom are you from? are you just a member of the royal family or are you the heir to the throne?” he feeds Night another apple. you watch as he ties the strings of the bag that still contained a few other apples in it to his belt.

“somewhere nearby,” you were careful with disclosing your information to a single stranger alone. “member of the royal family.”

he nods, giving Night one more pat before turning on his heels, looking like he was ready to walk off.

“wait!” you unconsciously push back your cloak, searching for the small pouches attached to your belt that contained coins. “what were the apples for?”

children? barn animals? his family?

“do you need more?” you hold out a single pouch by your fingers, dangling it on your outstretched hand. he turns to look at you, eyes focused on the pouch. he strolls over to you, not hesitating for a moment before taking the pouch, the exchange causing the coins to make clinking sounds.

he then puts two fingers his mouth, whistling loudly. you were shocked and surprised by the sudden, sharp sound, but soon you hear the sound of hooves galloping against the floor, and a gorgeous brown and white mustang gallops right up to him from behind you.

“good girl,” he whispers, the horse whinnying and rubbing her snout in his hair. he smiles, feeding her whatever that was left of the apples in the bag.

“thank you for the extra change. i’ll buy more apples with the rest of it tomorrow morning when the village market opens,” he huffs, getting on the horse with ease. you notice the mustang had no reigns, but there was a mark near the base of her neck where a medallion would usually be...

“care to ride with me? or do you need to return to your kingdom?” he jerks around on his horse as she sniffs Night.

it had been forever since you’ve ridden with someone, so you were elated when he extended the invitation, not bothering about the second part of his question.

soon, you found yourself galloping through the woods again, and you were in a part of the forest you weren’t familiar with. you and Night were just simply following behind him and his mustang.

if the Duke and Duchess were here, they’d be screaming their heads off at you with sophistication, interrogating you about why you thought following a stranger through the trees would be a good idea.

but there was something about the way he won those apples from the bar by entertaining the villagers, and the way he treated his horse... that reminded you of yourself, and that convinced you that he meant no harm.

you hear nothing but crickets and the sound of heavy hooves hitting the ground, but slowly, the sound of gushing water reaches your ears, and it sounded like music. your eyes brighten, and he must’ve noticed it when he turned back to look at you once he heard the sound of nature too. he smiles and turns back to look forward, and within minutes, you arrive at the land’s prettiest sight.

you were still on Night, admiring the way the moonlight reflected off the water. there were fireflies that lit up the strands of grass, the sound of crickets chirping and the gentle breeze that brushed the hood off your head. he dismounts from the mustang, giving her a pat as he lets her roam the area.

“how did you--” you whirled around to ask him a question about the waterfall, only to see him by the side of Night, one hand outstretched to you. his eyes were wide and gleaming, and there was something in them that was so inviting.

you gladly take his hand as he helps you get off Night, and he gives you space while you adjust the pouches on his sides. you were about to hook his reigns around a boulder nearby, but the young man stops you, his hold on your wrist gentle, but firm.

“he won’t run, trust me.”

you let him guide your hand away from the reigns, and Night starts taking small steps here and there but never looking like he was ready to gallop off. the young man releases his hold on you, and instead holds his elbow out to you, hand balled up into a fist and placed over his stomach.

you watch in kind wonder. though a little disappointed that you were still treated like royalty outside of your kingdom, you happily hook your arm through his. you walk along the lake until there was a relatively empty patch, where the grass was a little shorter and less wild. he pulls away, only to bow and offer you his right hand.

you blink in slight surprise, unsure if he was doing what you think he was doing.

“i had lessons when i was younger, so my apologies if my knowledge of this isn’t as up to standard as yours, your highness.”

you couldn’t help but to wonder how awkward and sudden this was, but it strangely just felt so right. you didn’t feel threatened at all, so taking his hand and allowing him to hold you just like any prince or baron or duke who’s danced with you before was pretty easy.

“so, what brings you out here into the wilderness in the middle of the night? i doubt your family would let you run off like this, even if you were just a member of a royal family,” he smiles at you. your hand was in his and on his shoulder, his hold on your waist light but careful. you were slowly moving around the space, both your feet, strangely enough, never once trampling on each other.

“running away from my responsibilities. being born into a royal family and having all these duties lay on your shoulders have been the only things i know.”

he hums in acknowledgement, his eyes never leaving yours.

“to tell you the truth, i’m quite surprised you accepted my invitation to ride with me. as far as i’m aware, members of the royal family don’t run off with strangers,” he flashes you a gorgeous smile, his eyes halving into pretty crescents and there was a glimmer in them like you’ve never seen before.

“i saw the way you were with the other villagers back in the bar, and the fact that you asked for apples in return, only to feed your horse... and you have no reign on her. it means you’ve spent a considerable amount of time with her for you to create that trust between you two. that tells me a lot.”

“i understand. i take it as a compliment?” he chuckles softly, raising his arm and twirling you around. usually you’d be in a dress if you were waltzing, so doing this here in the middle of a forest, in horseback riding fitting, was oddly satisfying.

you were finally doing something that wouldn’t be allowed in the ballroom.

“please do,” you giggle. but your light-hearted feelings disappear when he pulls you in after the spin. his hand was pressed flat against your lower back, and your head was tilted upwards to meet his eyes.

“so what are you going to tell the royal family once you get back?” he almost whispers. there was so little space between your faces that it doesn’t require much volume to speak. “surely they would’ve noticed that you’re gone by now?”

a smile breaks out on your lips upon the question, and he turns you around. you rest your upper body weight on his arm as you lean back, his arms holding you in a dip.

you expected him to drop you or at least feel his arm tremble from the weight, but he doesn’t. his hold was firm and had no signs of faltering.

there was absolutely no way lessons when he was younger was enough to give him the strength and ability to hold you like this.

“where did you learn to waltz like this?” you quietly ask, eyes locking with his again as his nose comes dangerously close to yours. he flashes you the same smile you saw at the bar, and you truly wonder if he was a prince or simply a commoner.

everything about him was sophisticated, but there was no physical evidence that he was of royal blood.

“i’d like to keep that a secret, your highness,” he tilts his head and leans forward. your eyes flutter shut upon the contact of his lips against yours, and your chest begins to pound. butterflies fill your stomach and chills run through you despite feeling the warmth of his palm on your lower back.

he tasted sweet, like apples. and though you expected to smell the scent of the potato sack he had around his shoulders, all you could smell was the scent of dew and water from nature.

he pulls away, and the air that runs between your faces makes you yearn for more. but you remember you were supposed to get married tomorrow.

“in fact, i’d like to keep this night a secret between us, your highness.”

he pulls you back up and lets go, the lack of touch making your heart drop into your stomach. you’ve danced with countless of princes, dukes and barons across the country, but never did you once miss someone’s touch.

you hated how intimate you felt with this stranger. physical boundaries weren’t really a thing anymore, since waltzing with so many other princes granted them the permission to touch you.

but you felt close to him.

what were the chances that you could fall in love with a stranger within just one night? everything about him made you want to know more about him.

how he did he know how to waltz like this? which kingdom he belonged to, or if he wasn’t, where was he from?

you let the thoughts run in your head as he lifts your hand, lightly planting a kiss on the back of your palm. he looks up to you through his hair, and you wish you could’ve said something, but nothing comes to mind.

“i’ll leave first, so you don’t need to worry that i’ll be following you,” he draws a circle on your skin, now standing up straight and looking at you like he loved you. “this has been a magical night, your highness. i was lucky to have met you tonight, and if the heavens would permit it, i hope this isn’t the first and last dance i’ll have with you.”

your heart shatters as he releases your hand from his. he turns on his heels and heads back to his horse, hopping onto her like it was nothing and gallops off without once looking back at you.

you sigh heavily, a heavy, but empty feeling filling your stomach.

not after i get married, i won’t.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the servant carefully pulls your veil over your face as you hear the entire kingdom go off in music and festivity. your face was void of emotion as you looked at yourself in the mirror.

your hair took three people to tie and decorate, and your wedding dress had been specifically tailored to fit your every curve. everybody in the room was cooing at how beautiful you looked, but all you could think of was the stranger you feel in love with last night.

you soon found yourself behind the familiar large doors of the biggest ballroom in the castle, and beyond that door would be every royal member of your family and your extended family.

the prince you were marrying would be standing at the altar, waiting for you.

“i’m so proud of you for doing this,” the Duke, your father, says with a pinch of affection in his voice. he knew very well that it wasn’t in your power to say no, but it was the same for him, and it was the same for anybody else born into royalty.

“i thought you weren’t going to return last night, and i was ready to accept that you wouldn’t,” his words caused you to feel an ache in your heart, motivating you to turn to look at him. “so when you did, you had absolutely no clue how proud i was of you. you will be a great Duchess, my beautiful girl.”

his words get softer and softer as he leans forward and kisses you on the forehead through your veil. tears threaten to collect in your eyes at his short speech.

you weren’t entirely sure if you were on the verge of crying because he was so proud of you for choosing your kingdom over the stranger, or that you knew there was no chance of you seeing him again.

the wedding march comes on from inside the ballroom, and the doors swing open to reveal an almost all-white setting. every piece of cloth was white and every piece of furniture was gold. you look up straight ahead at the man standing at the altar, and his suit was white and gold in color as well.

he doesn’t turn around despite everybody standing up at the sound of the doors opening.

you empathise, knowing that he probably doesn’t want to be here either.

it felt like years while your father walks you down the isle, and he finally lets you go for you to walk up the altar on your own.

the wedding officiate gestures to both you and the prince.

you take deep breaths to calm your heart while you look up, but your heart stops instead.

he looked almost as surprised as you were, but you could see the moment he collects himself and his prince-smile replaces his look of shock.

your mind immediately flashes back to the previous night, and you remember that dance.

you remember the way you melted into his hold and touch, the way he tasted like apples, the way he wished that it wasn’t going to be your first and last dance.

he looks at you with loving eyes as he heaves a sigh of relief, realising that you never once said you weren’t a princess or the daughter of a Duke.

what were the chances?

“do you, prince park of the northern lands, take lady y/n of the eastern kingdom to be your--”

“i do.”

you stifle a soft giggle at him interrupting the wedding officiate, trying your best to hold back your tears of relief.

“uh... very well. do you, lady y/n of the eastern kingdom, take prince park to be your law--”

“i do.”

your prince grins widely. the wedding officiate looks a little confused, but he quickly nods and announces, “you may now kiss the bride.”

he was so careful with your veil, and every move of his was so soft, so gentle, and there were no words to describe how ecstatic you were. he leans forward and pauses just about an inch away from your lips.

“the heavens must’ve heard my prayers.”

you smile widely, finally allowing the tears in your eyes to rush down your face as he kisses you lovingly. his hands find your waist and your arms find his shoulders, completely giving into the kiss as the audience applauds.

you pull away and he looks at you with eyes you know you won’t ever be bored of. it should’ve been impossible, but falling in love with a stranger was the most wondrous thing that’s happened to you.

- end -

A/N: big fat sobs uwuwuwuwuw

#timetohajima #timetohajima playlist feels #fluff #prince seonghwa #seonghwa #park seonghwa #ateez seonghwa #seonghwa au #seonghwa fanfic #seonghwa imagine #ateez fic #ateez fever #ateez imagine #seonghwa one shot #BIG FAT UWUS #my hearteu #died #royalty au

110 notes · View notes

themidnightpanda · 3 years

Photo

Happy pride month to all! Drew myself and my flags (and got my own eye color right, for once-), and this will probably become my main pfp now because. looking great there.

the version w/o the writing of happy pride (and also the list of flags and lil things I threw in bc extra details) bellow if anyone seeing this thinks its interesting enough to listen to me ramble-

Eyy

well, for flags, I believe the jacket being an ace mess is obvious, but the shirt beneath it is not only the aro flag, but also a play on the fact my other pfp had a green shirt with the same texture added here (which is really just me finding a picture of tv static and making it a low-opacity overlay-)

wings and wing-ears are obvious, because it’s still me and being me includes jackets, glasses (and, somehow, these are the actual glasses I have, randomly being uneven bc I read fics while laying on my side on a couch included--) and a lot of wings. the crown-halo is actually another thing I burrowed from Dandelion’s design, because I drew it and immediately went “oh, that’s so cool” and then proceeded to add it to my own lil sketches I do bc I’m too lazy to ink, occassionally.

anyways, back to pride stuff, nonbinary flag patch on the arm of the jacket and a pin next to it with my pronouns! (well, actually they/them and lun/lunar, but even I forget the second set sometimes, nevermind the fact a lot of people don’t know how to use that set, so, they/them is the one I use more commonly-)

also, rainbow scarf included based on the fact I actually do own a rainbow scarf (and suspenders and stockings, but those I usually only use on actual pride stuff, while the scarf I go with anywhere-)

also, the choker has a glass heart on it- I really struggled with it, because I do glass well only if it’s 3D and this is just. a panel of glass.

the eyes are something I had to actually go to my mom to ask about, because she’s known me longest and therefore must know what my eye color is (it’s sorta a fun story, but my eyes change color based on like, a billion variables, including lighting, weather and mood, mainly, so I usually default to my favorite shade for them, which is the neon green I get when there’s a good weather to take a walk and I’m feeling energized). her response was to send me a picture of a close-up of a cat’s eyes, which were the same shade mine are currently, and also somewhat like the color in the drawing (except more neon, I didn’t manage to put the neon in without disrupting the color pallet too much and I’d rather have something pretty than accurate, considering the fact I don’t have wings for ears, actually.

last thing to add is that, for once, I managed to remember my hair is actually no longer completely blond! I started coloring the tips purple a few years back, and though it fades pretty fast, it turns this pretty green/aqua color, so, I added the transition from purple to green to blond at the tips of my hair, which I made shorter than it is irl, because having incredibly long hair is impractical but having super short hair felt weird when I did so having it at shoulder length could be interesting (even if I love drawing it either mermaid-length or barely bellow my ears-)

Happy pride to all, anyways!! ^w^

4 notes · View notes

damejudyhench · 3 years

Text

WIP Wednesday

Thanks for the tag, @funkypoacher !

Here is some of my dlc concept/Max temperature play extravaganza, Terror on Typhon. Let me know if you like it!

Tagging @jumpship90 @kourumi @juniper-tree @the-laridian @strangefable @captastra ! Sorry if I’ve missed you off and you would like to do it, consider yourself tagged anyway 😘

Pearl had always thought that Parvati’s eyes were beautiful, but never more so than now as they gleamed with the countless twinkling lights reflecting from the snow.

“Oh my stars,” the mechanic breathed, “a real life Founding Day market, just like what we used to have back home! Can we go, Captain?”

It was certainly a sight to behold. Stalls lit with candles and lanterns and string lights, piles of trinkets, hot steam rising with the smell of roast meat and burned sugar. A cheerful print of white snowflakes and mammoths on a bright blue background was everywhere to be seen on blankets and sweaters. It seemed strangely familiar to Pearl, although she’d never experienced anything like it. A memory of a memory.

The rest of the crew were similarly enthused. Only the Vicar held back, staring down his nose at the assembled crowds.

“I was always firmly against this frivolity, back in Edgewater. Founding Day ought to be a solemn affair.”

“What’s your problem, Max? Mad cause no one ever gives you any gifts?” Felix sneered.

“Founding Day is not about gifts. Or candied mockapples, or The Sprat That Lead Them To Water or any of this nonsense. The first Founding Day market took place when the colonists needed to earn bits in order to buy their rations. It was a means of ensuring that only those who were destined to survive the landing did so. An expression of the Plan, as all things should be.”

Max turned and walked haughtily towards the sign that marked the edge of the marketplace. Hands firmly in his pockets, the tips of his ears were red with cold. His hair swept elegantly back, drawing the eye towards the nape of his neck, pale and vulnerable.

It was irresistible. Pearl threw a snowball, and that was all it took.

Max yelped as the icy powder slid down his collar. Felix gave a cry of delight. He launched another snowball in his direction, but his eagerness he missed Max completely and hit Pearl instead.

“Sorry, Boss,” he gasped wide-eyed. Pearl laughed and threw one back at him. Nyoka joined the attack on Max, while Ellie increased the chaos by throwing snowballs randomly into the fray. Parvati stood by, excitement and anxiety mingling on her face.

Max had clearly not made snowballs for a while, but he still had the hand and the eye of a tossball player, and his missiles hit their mark. He drove the others back, and retreated toward the Unreliable. With their primary target gone, the crew paused for breath. Pearl felt her cheeks glowing with cold and the smile on her face.

After a quick diversion to the market, she made her way back to the ship. Max was leaning on his desk, his skin flushed from a hot shower. He was towelling his hair, and he was wearing…

Pearl shrieked with laughter.

“What the hell is that?”

Max scowled at her.

“Edgewater has a temperate climate, and the Mission can get very cold and drafty,” he said primly, and fastened the last buttons on his full length union suit. The fabric stretched across his broad shoulders and clung to his buttocks and thighs, but it was also bright red and cosy and flannel.

“You look fucking adorable. How come I’ve never seen you in that before?”

“I don’t tend to wear it when I’m anticipating company.”

“Have you ever been wearing it under your clothes without me knowing?”

Max’s lips quirked. “I’m afraid that will have to remain a mystery.”

“Fine. Oh, I got you these…”

She handed him the fur lined gloves she’d picked out.

“Thank you, Captain. But I assure you, my problem with the market is not my own lack of gifts, despite what Mr Millstone might imply. Founding Day celebrates the survival of the fittest. It goes against the very meaning of it to use it to boost Glacial Age’s flagging profits.”

“They’re flagging?”

“Water is more readily available throughout the system than it used to be. And multiple other corporations produce alcoholic beverages. Ms Malin is not the first to notice a problem with availability. I suspect they are simply going out of business.”

“That doesn’t explain the distress call… come back to the market with me. You’ll be warmer now. And besides, if Glacial Age are going out of business then we should enjoy the whiskey while we can.”

“Consider me persuaded.” Max dressed quickly. He pulled his new gloves on, held his hands up to admire them, and smiled.

When he reached the door, his smile grew anxious, and he turned back to face her.

“Please don’t tell the rest of the crew about my underwear.”

#the outer worlds #vicar max #captain pearl jenkins #the captain of the unreliable #my fic #fic draft #terror on Typhon #wip wednesday #obviously the middle of January is the perfect time to start a Christmas fic 🤷🏻‍♀️

12 notes · View notes

antivirus-mh-au · 3 years

Text

Antivirus - Chapter 4

First Chapter Previous Chapter Ao3 Link TW: None Note: I am completely exhausted and working on a laggy computer. I will add these links when I’m not a zombie trying to use a zombie laptop. Thank you for your patience.

Click the link. Let the page load, the old laptop whirring as it opened. A YouTube video, like so many others. Opening shot, an abandoned building in the middle of the night, muffled voices talking.

Shrieking, screaming. The camera lowered as the one holding it ducks for cover. Four voices yelling at once. Suddenly, laughter. Relieved laughter.

"Fucking bats!" A man called out. The camera raising, focusing on the dark shapes fluttering out the window.

"We need to be careful," a woman said, voice light-hearted. "Those things carry rabies."

Laughter breaking through the group again, a logo of a camera appearing on the screen.

He paused the video and glanced down at the title. "OUR GREATEST HITS, VOLUME ONE."

He sent a text to his friend.

Phoenix: who are these assholes?

The reply was immediate.

Skully: they're my assholes. College kids I made friends with on Twitter. Really cool. I don't remember being that cool when I was twenty.

He grunted aloud. Lucky him, remembering anything about his twenties. Not everyone was so fortunate.

Skully: They’re part of the MH fandom. They actually live in Alabama and were able to track down some of the locations in the videos.

He rolled his eyes.

Phoenix: Find any bodies?

Skully: Just blood.

He shuddered, pulling his hooded jacket closer to his body.

Phoenix: Cool. Morbid, but cool.

He was such a liar.

Skully: Anyway, not what I was sending them to you about. They just made a new video today and I think you might be interested in it

He grimaced.

Phoenix: This is about your crazy boyfriend, isn’t it?

Skully: He’s not my boyfriend!! I don’t know him!!!

Skully: And you know my partner doesn't share.

Phoenix: But it’s still about him. The prophet guy.

Skully: … Yeah. But you should still watch this! I think you’ll find it interesting

He leaned back against the wall and huffed.

Phoenix: Why?

Skully: … the kids talk about Tim, alright?

Skully: They talk about him a lot.

His fingers hesitated over the keys. He lingered, reading the words again and again. Tim…?

Phoenix: Fine.

Phoenix: Send me the video.

The video, almost thirty minutes long, took its sweet time to load. First thing on screen was the same logo as before, a camera with a generic full face mask behind it. The name of the channel followed, MH Unlocked. He shook his head.

The name faded out, replaced by three people on a couch. Two women, one man. A second man sat on top of an end table on the right side of the couch. The lamp that probably belonged in that spot sat on the floor at his dangling feet.

The woman on the left, a bushy haired brunette with deep tan skin, a high ponytail and golden brown eyes, gave the camera a grin.

"Hey investigators!" She waved. "We're back with another video."

"And this one's a doozy," the woman beside her said, raising her mug, which proudly bore a pride flag. If he had to guess, it was the lesbian one. Her hair was dyed orange, peachy skin flushed by makeup or a light sunburn, it was hard to tell.

"Before we start," the first woman said, "be sure to leave a like and give us your thoughts and theories in the comments! I promise, we read all of them."

"Eventually," said the man on the end table with a grin. He was the palest white guy ever, with curly black hair, glasses, and about a thousand freckles on his face. The man next to him gave him a shove, and the first man burst into laughter.

The other man, with skin several shades darker than the brunette and a suit far too good looking for this kind of environment, rolled his eyes. He waved a hand, with a silver ring on his index finger, at the camera.

"You already know us," he said. "I'm Mix."

"I'm Holly!" The brunette on the other end said.

"I'm Wren," the orange haired woman said.

"And I'm Steve!" The freckled man grinned wide, his green eyes practically glowing with excitement. "We've got a big story for you guys today."

"Oh, very big," Wren said, before taking a drink from her mug.

"Big like the worst headache you've ever had," Mix said with a smiling roll of his eyes. Wren smacked him on the shoulder without looking away from her drink.

"So." Holly reached up from the floor and pulled up a laptop. The brand logo was covered up with a pineapple sticker. Her eyes scanned the screen as she fiddled with the touchpad, Wren leaning over to see what she was doing.

"Last night," Holly said. "Something weird happened over on the Neophyte_Calling YouTube channel."

"Weirder than normal," Wren said.

"Yeah," Holly said. She glanced over towards Steve, who swiped at the screen of his phone. He looked up.

"We'd show the footage but people don’t seem to like when we do that," Steve said. "Something something spreading the sickness." He shrugged with a smile. "But we've all watched it and we can give you a play by play of what happened."

"It might not seem that dramatic," Wren said, "but the implications are pretty intense."

"I'll say," Mix said.

"Last night, at around ten pm," Holly started, "in the middle of his usual stream, the Neophyte went quiet. The way he does when whatever he's supposedly channeling is trying to talk through him. After about thirty seconds of silence, he started bleeding onto the table from his head, which remember, is mostly off screen. He said, "he's coming," and fell over as the screen glitched out. For another hour there was complete silence before the stream randomly ended."

"Weird shit," Steve said.

Holly nodded. "Very weird shit - but in character for him."

"Now, for those of you that don't know who the Neophyte is," Mix said, "he's the guy you see people calling 'the Prophet' in this fandom. Talks like a drug addict on a high, but many people believe there are secret messages in his words that can be decoded. They say those messages predict the future."

"Not everyone believes this," Holly said.

"I don't," Steve said, hunched over and watching his friends. "But there's definitely something funny-weird about the guy. Very… uncanny valley."

"Sometimes, unprompted, he'll stop talking and do this creepy voice." Holly cleared her throat, and when she spoke again, she lowered her voice, taking on an odd pitch to her words. "Grains of sand in the hourglass of time. Your existence is irrelevant." She shuddered, and let her voice go back to normal. "Something like that."

"That's an awful impression but it gets the job done," Mix said.

"You try doing one better," Holly said.

"The one thing all of these coherent messages have in common," Wren said, "is that they're all addressed to the same person. Someone called Tim."

Steve nodded. "And you can guess who most people think that 'Tim' is."

"It's been ten years since Marble Hornets ended," Mix said. "But it would make sense if it were Tim Wright the Neophyte was talking to. He was the only survivor, after all."

"But that would imply that Tim is watching the Neophyte streams," Wren said.

"And if he's watching the streams, he could be aware of us, too," Holly said.

The four went quiet. Mix looked at the floor. Steve traded a look of discomfort with Holly. Wren took a sip of her mug. She pulled it away from her lips with a sigh.

"If he does know about us," Wren said, "why not come forward and tell his side of the story? He could change the whole game by revealing himself."

"Probably because he's a fucking murderer," Steve said. Mix glared at him, but Steve only shrugged. "You know I'm right!"

"He did kill two people," Holly said, looking at her laptop. "Just because Kralie killed Jay doesn't make what Tim did right."

"But what other choice did he have?" Mix said. "Alex wouldn't have stopped trying to kill Tim. One of them needed to die."

"That doesn't matter to the legal system," Holly said.

"We're getting off topic," Wren said, raising a hand. "It doesn't matter if the Neophyte was talking about Tim from Marble Hornets or not. What matters is that someone is going somewhere and that's apparently good news for the Neophyte or whatever he's channeling."

"You can say the Operator, it's okay," Steve said.

Holly glared at him from over Wren's head.

"It does matter, though, if he's talking about Tim in particular," Mix said. "What if Tim is heading back to Alabama? Maybe he left after the end of the series."

"It's possible," Holly said, "but that's pure speculation. We don't know that."

"Isn't speculation all we do?" Steve said, swinging his legs gently. "Come on, let's give the audience something to chew on. What do you guys think the Neophyte was talking about? The crazier the theory, the better."

Mix frowned. "Well…"

With a shake of his head, the viewer closed the tab. He'd seen enough. Enough to make his eyes burn and hands shake. He took a deep breath, and shuddered, pulling his jacket around himself. It was a warm day beyond the safe confines of this abandoned house, but that didn't stop the chills shooting through him.

Was he afraid? Or was he angry?

With a growl he thrust the laptop away from him and reached for his sketchbook. The pen he'd been using before still rested inside. Forcing his thoughts away from the video, he focused everything in his mind onto his art.

He wasn't a great artist, but his memory was good, and with nothing else to do most days, his skill was getting better. With proper art tools, he could've even gotten great at it. But there was no need for greatness right now. Art was supposed to be healing, and that more than anything was what he needed.

In his mind he captured the image, something he'd seen so many times before. Grinding his teeth, he let the image flow onto the page once more. His favorite thing to draw, the one thing that really made him smile.

Losing track of time was part of the appeal. With the light from his laptop, he could see the whole page, or at least enough of it to work. The ink bled into the paper, the lines assembling into a rough image that soon became a face. He could see it so well in his mind's eye. As if the man he pictured was right in front of him. But he wasn't. And if the man knew what was good for him, he'd stay that way.

The sound of a new message on Discord got his attention. He glanced at the time instead. An hour, flown by, his mind lost in an ink-based daydream. Exhaling hard, he looked back at the art on the page. It wasn't finished. It would probably never be finished. But as it was… it was perfect.

Tim Wright made a very good model, unaware of that as he was.

Running his hand over the page, feeling the indents where his pen dug deep into the paper, he shook his head, and smiled.

"Better not be coming back, Tim," the man, the Maniac, said. "If you do… I'll have to kill you.”

#marble hornets #mh antivirus au #mh fanfiction #marble hornets fanfiction #marble hornets au

17 notes · View notes

ravenwolfie97 · 3 years

Text

2020 Art Summary

Yep, it’s 2021 already. 2020 is finally over. It felt like it lasted forever, and it felt like the end would never come, but here we are. Crazy how the time flew by.

I felt like I didn’t get much art done this year because of Current World Event, but I made a lot more than I thought I did. Even some of my new favorite pieces came out of this year, so I think that’s worth celebrating and looking back upon!

I was insanely productive during the first month of 2020, and looking back I was surprised at all the stuff I did, but then I remembered that that winter season was actually one of the best times of my life! I started being more socially involved, and I think my newfound drive at the time translated into all the art I pumped out this month. This is just a small fraction of what I made in January, but I only have so much space. Quite a few complex pieces in both style exploration and polishing my own style.

Apparently February was a rather intimate month. Things began to slow down in terms of my own art here, with me spending more time in social settings and school work ramping up, I didn’t have as much time to coop up in my room to draw. I did wanna do something for a friend’s Valentine’s Day OC art challenge, so I drew my lovey-dovey couple from Dance of 1000 Words havin’ a dance. Nothing actually came of that challenge, but it was fun to do regardless.

One of the things I was most proud of in the winter season was making more friends, and one of the closest friends I made was completely coincidental. I met a person named Kiri on the bus one night I decided to volunteer somewhere by myself, and we ended up chatting and getting along. They quickly told me their tumblr username, and I shot them a message immediately after they left. A couple days later, we met up for brunch, and we started becoming really close friends and creative partners!

Not much else happened in March cuz that’s when Current World Event started becoming an issue, but Kiri and I still kept in close touch and we randomly started developing a concept for a Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Galar Edition. These are a handful of characters we thought up, with Skipper the Scorbunny and Dross the Dreepy as the main characters, Morgrem as the main antagonist, and some shopkeepers such as those of the Greedent Bank and the Indeedee General Store. This was also my first time drawing all of these Galar Pokemon (except Scorbunny, but I also made Skipper a bit more unique than a regular Scorbunny).

Lots of events happened this month. First of all, Steven Universe Future ended, one of my favorite and most influential shows was no longer continuing. I had to do something as tribute, both as a send-off to one of the greatest cartoons in the world and as a cathartic release for my feelings towards it.

A while later, I got the opportunity to start playing an MMO in beta called Fer.al, by the same people who made Animal Jam, which coincidentally I had also beta tested for back in the day. I ended up getting really attached to my first character, a Senri I named Sasha, and though I’ve made more characters than them since, they’re still my absolute favorite. Though I haven’t touched the game in a few months, I was really engrossed for a long time and enjoyed playing through the beta and early access phases.

At the end of the month, some friends of mine invited to a roleplay group with some mutuals, and we all played characters in a crime syndicate. Just a bunch of ragtag thieves and criminals who ended up together in order to protect an artifact called the Crown of Thieves, which was essentially a flag to be taken by other groups to prove that they are the best thieves in the land. My character was based heavily on my sona (if it wasn’t obvious) and was also influenced by Cloud Strife, since the FFVII Remake had just come out and I was super into watching the cutscenes at the time. My character’s (code)name is Valkyrie, and they are a mercenary, going between multiple different employers to carry out whatever duties they need to do. They have a more complicated backstory, but presently they were recently hired by recommendation of their friend Shark (played by @shmoots-universe who is also My friend now ily maya) who works with a group called the Court Cards who are currently in possession of the Crown of Thieves. Valk never really had a place to call home, but staying with this group of people had to be the closest they could get to that feeling. They still sleep with a knife under their pillow because of trust issue but that’s okay.

Okay, so technically these examples started in April, but I continued making content with them in May, and the month was just pretty void of art in general, so here I am addressing them.

There were two main things I worked on this month: a Steven Universe AU of my own and the whole #sixfanarts thing that kicked off around then. Let’s start with the fanart bits. I did two and a half of them (six in April and nine in May), and it was so much fun to be able to draw stuff I don’t normally do! My personal favorites are shown here: Blake Belladonna from RWBY, Roll from Megaman, Yuki Konno from Sword Art Online, and Link from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. The other thing I’d been planning for a while was a Steven Universe AU, probably to cope with the show being over but also because I was inspired by a lot of those SU AU artists I started following at the time. I won’t share the details here because it’s gonna have its own blog at some point, but the example I’ve shown here is of a comic I made loosely in order to introduce a divergence in the plot of the story as well as introduce a character unique to my AU. It was a lot of fun figuring out how to draw the characters and get a feel for the style.

As the year progressed, my amount of art I made per month began to dwindle, this time mostly because school was kicking my ass especially hard with finals. However, I took what time I had to get some backburner pieces finished, like the Tigerlily picture which I sketched out a couple months back, and the Gunvolt picture which I started working on SIX YEARS AGO. I don’t quite know why I got the urge to work on it again after so long, but it was nice to finally realize. The other drawing for DOTS was done in the dead of night but I was really happy with how it came out.

Despite only having two summer classes left of school, this month was really rough because they demanded a lot of my time and attention. I did not have the gumption to do anything digital, so I stuck to my sketchbook to get out what I felt like getting out.

My friends and I did a stream of the game Helltaker, and I really enjoyed the concept, so in following my friends I made my own Helltaker demon OC named Raksha the Ravenous Demon (it’s a pun but also got mythical insp). I also got super into Hazbin Hotel at this point, mostly because the Addict music video dropped and I couldn’t get enough of it, so I doodled Angel Dust cuz I felt like it. The other drawing I did was actually a free commission I gave a friend of mine as a prize for a trivia game show I ran back in June. He along with a couple other friends got some free drawings from me for getting the top three scores, and this one in particular was fun because of how interesting it was. He wanted me to draw a video game reviewer called the Irate Gamer from a specific moment, and I decided to go ham and just make it as dramatic as possible.

University classes finally wrapped up and right after that I was in the process of moving out of my apartment and getting adjusted to living with my parents again. I did a couple of agg.io drawing sessions with my friends from the Court Cards group as well as a new Dungeons and Dragons homebrew group I had joined. I drew some more of Valkyrie and came up with a design for my DND character Qakuqtuq (or Kai for short). He is monkey grandpa and I love him.

My main focus was on finishing a polished piece for my friend Cake, whose birthday was in the upcoming month. I wanted it to be as amazing as possible, so I put a lot of time into getting more detailed and making them look good. In addition to that, I did a few TOME doodles just for fun. The creature on the bottom was for this month’s art challenge on my Discord server where we made original TOMERPG monsters, and I created Hundylow, a Crystal-element monster based on the Grindylow from English folklore.

This month was a lot more productive than the past few had been. I tried to do a 31-day art challenge called Creatober but failed to get past the third prompt because I was still swamped with other work. I’m still happy with what little I did, including the piece with my characters Kyle and Guarudan from DSWD.

I don’t remember how, but I also suddenly rediscovered an old Flipnote Hatena series called Tales of LostClan, a Warriors fan series that I would say was the most obscure thing I’ve ever been super invested in. It was what got me into the actual Warriors books, and I liked it so much I redrew the animations into a comic... twice. Didn’t get nearly as far the second time but clearly my love for this little fanfiction had not waned after nearly a decade. I felt like drawing a book cover/movie poster for the series, just to get it out there and see how much I’ve improved over all that time.

Also I felt like making a vampiresona just before Halloween because I never dress up for Halloween in art (or real life anymore, for that matter), and I wanted to do something like that for once. It was short-lived but I really liked the design!

The focus of this month was definitely on Pokemon stuff. As per usual I contributed to the current Gotta Draw ‘Em All collab, and I was tasked to draw Regieleki. It was really fun to figure out how to make it stand out and look like it was made of electricity.

I also committed a lot of my spare time to my Fakemon Gym Leaders, as I had been working on bringing them to life in the past year or so now. As of this post, I’ve finished rendering their full body poses and gym badges, but I’m still working on completing all eight VS portraits, the first half of which are shown here.

I... didn’t draw anything this month, actually. What I’m showing here was worked on in the last few days but has actually been in progress for a couple of months, and I just finished it earlier today, in 2021. But I needed to show something off, and it’s also about time I mentioned it.

Back in October, I kept seeing people rave about this game called Genshin Impact, and I was interested but not so much as to start playing it... until my friends started playing and I was like “fuck it, let’s download it”. Since that day, I have been super immersed and in love with this game, to the point I came up with my own canon based on my gameplay experiences. This also included the creation of an original player character: Astra, the non-binary Traveller. And now, I’ve finally drawn them and brought them to life.

It has been one hell of a year. I had some of the highest highs and lowest lows in 2020, lots of changes, and I have now officially moved onto the next chapter of my life now that my time at university is finally over. I’m very excited for what 2021 has to offer, and I’m going to go forward with great ambition.

#my art stuff #art summary #this is always a joy to do every year and i'm glad to keep up the tradition for the sixth year in a row #this year was super good for this as well just to look back on what i was actually able to accomplish #long post #tome #hazbin hotel

9 notes · View notes

thewatermelloncat · 4 years

Text

Take Me Seriously... After This

Summary: A prompt given to be by @candydancey, where the reader is a ghost who helps Klaus to prank his siblings during a training exercise. For the purpose of this story, Ben can now appear as a ghost to people at his own freewill.

Author’s Note: I have written the reader as a girl, I’m sorry if that isn’t preferable for everyone. It was just easier for me to write it that way.

Warnings: None

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“I don’t approve of this” Ben says while lazily staring out the window. Arms crossed and avoiding Klaus looking at him hopefully.

“Come on, lighten up. It’ll be fun!” Klaus encourages him with far too much enthusiasm for what he is planning.

“Klaus” Ben turns to him seriously, unfolding his arms. “They’re never going to take you seriously if you do this.”

“Who says I want to be taken seriously?”

“You, all the time. When you come around complaining that none of them are listening to you.”

Klaus falls silent for a bit, seeming to consider it. Though unfortunately because of his nature, he disregards it. “I’ll work on being serious later. Just help me have some fun first.”

“No” Ben shakes his head, more of his annoyance showing through.

“Ben” Klaus draws out a whine as his brother gets up from his seat at the window and walks toward the door.

“Find someone else” he says without turning around. “But I’m really hoping you’ll reconsider.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Gravel crunched under Klaus’ boots as he sulkily kicked at it, hands behind his back and dejectedly looking at the ground without any mind to where he was going. Eventually he came to a bench in the courtyard and sat down on it planning to contemplate the complexities of his life.

He’d only kicked his feet out in front of him when he feels a presence behind him.

“What’s wrong?” y/n asks coming to rest her arms on the a back of the bench, looking down at him over his shoulder.

“What makes you ask that?” he counters but not in an unfriendly way.

“For starters, you never really come outside” she begins leaving a short gap in conversation before adding more playfully, “and Ben isn’t here.”

“He’s no fun” Klaus whines, not caring to notice that the statement is slightly out of context.

“That’s not new” y/n scoffs. “What did he do?”

“Well it’s more like what he won’t do.”

“And what is that?”

“I want him to help me prank my dear siblings, but he won’t do it on the moral grounds that none of them will take me seriously” Klaus deepens his voice into a mocking tone at the end, waving his hands in the air down at his sides.

“They don’t take you seriously anyway. What’s the difference?”

“I know but it would be nice if they could sometimes” Klaus states before y/n’s face falls and he realises that perhaps he hasn’t sold his argument well enough. “But afterward I said I’d work on it” he quickly adds before y/n can choose the same side as Ben.

“All right then” she raises her eyebrows at him. “What are you planning to do?”

“I know that you listen around so I’m assuming you know about the training exercise Luther is planning?” Klaus half asks half states.

“He barely shuts up about it” y/n nods.

“Yeah” Klaus agrees. “I want to scare them.”

“How? No offense but you’re not much Klaus. You can’t pop up randomly like Five can.”

“I can’t but Ben could” Klaus sighs deeply. “But like I said, he’s no fun.”

“You could try and convince Five to do it” y/n suggests even though she knows it would never fly.

“Ask a 58-year-old assassin to help me pull a practical joke?” Klaus asks in disbelief although he knows that she knows it wouldn’t work either.

“Well, have you got any other suggestions?”

“Not at the mo – wait!” Klaus cuts himself off midsentence. “You’re a ghost!”

Y/n looks down at herself before back up to Klaus with a confused expression. “Well spotted” she says sarcastically.

“No, no, no” Klaus waves his hands frantically in front of himself, his excitement growing. “You can walk through walls and appear randomly.”

“Not on my own. You know that Ben is the only one who can appear at will.”

“Yes, yes, I know” he agrees. “But I can help you.”

“Help me so I can help you prank your siblings?”

“Yeah!” his face spreads out in a gigantic smile.

“One problem” y/n immediately curbs his enthusiasm and his face falls. “You haven’t even asked me yet.”

“Please y/n! I will literally get on the ground and beg you” Klaus clasps both his hands above his head and then lowers them to in front of his chest, shaking them as he does so.

“Okay” y/n shrugs, feigning seriousness. “Get on the ground and beg then.”

“Really?” Klaus’ voice cracks and he draws his head back in confusion. Still prepared to move all the same.

“Nah, messing with you” y/n laughs. “When are we doing it?”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Klaus wasn’t as small as Five or as agile as Diego but if he was lucky for one thing, he was great at going unnoticed. When he wanted to of course.

They’d all started down in the foyer where Luther went over the rules one last time. Klaus and Diego had been bored out of their minds having to listen to him explain that the first person to gather all their flags and make it back to the foyer would win, and how no use of powers was to be permitted, as if they hadn’t heard it multiple times already. Five had been bouncing on the balls of his feet, clear that he already had a plan figured out and was rearing to go.

Once they had been dismissed, they all speed off in different directions to collect their flags. Well, aside from Klaus who wasn’t interested in collecting his. Instead he’d speed off to the attic and by the time he had made it to the top level and to his planned hiding spot, he had yet to see any of his siblings again. But he knew he would be running into them soon enough.

“You couldn’t have picked a more original hiding spot than in a cupboard?” y/n whispers to him, although no one but him could hear her anyway.

“I can’t fit anywhere else” Klaus reasons, “and what’s wrong with the classics?”

“It’s predictable.”

“Well, you don’t have to hide with me” he points out, looking at her standing in the small space next to him.

Y/n furrows her brow and looks down at herself like she’s just remembering that she’s not corporal. Then she hums and steps through the wall into the open space of the attic. “Are you even going to try get any of your flags?” she asks him as she runs her hand through the flags hanging from a string attached from one wall to another.

Klaus scoffs, scrunching his face comically. “Nah, Five or Diego will win anyway.”

“Not even just one?” she points to his one, coloured green. “I don’t see why you can’t steal all of theirs and stitch them up” she continues after seeing him shake his head through the small gap in the cupboard door.

“Believe me I’ve thought about it, but this prank will be so much better” Klaus dismisses, pausing a little before adding. “Also, this way I won’t get accused of cheating because I’m not even trying.”

“You could still get one. I mean it’s right there” y/n points to it again.

“Christ on a cracker, you sound like Ben” Klaus sighs, tipping his head back. “Fine, if it means that much to you, I’ll” – Klaus is cut off as he begins to step out of the cupboard.

“No, no! Get back, get back!” y/n shoos him away. “I can hear someone coming.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Vanya’s fingers twirl lazily at the ends of the two flags she has attached to her belt. She thought she might have run into Five up here, figuring that he would have planned to start at the top level and make his way back down since he is certainly faster than the rest of them at climbing flights of stairs. Though apparently, he’d taken a different strategy since she had yet to run into him, into anyone in fact.

Rounding the corner to step through the door of the attic her eyes land on the purple square of material waiting for her. By the looks of things no one else has been there yet, the area seeming rather innocent.

Suddenly a scream splits trough the room and a flash of blue appears inches in front of her face before disappearing. Gasping in fright she jumps back hitting the wall, clasping a hand to her chest. She doesn’t wait past the point of the light fading before she spins on her heel and hurries out into the hallway, in a daze from what she saw.

She feels fuzzy as her heart rate settles down but before she can fully process what happened a voice sounds from ahead of her.

“What happened? Are you alright?” Diego asks.

Vanya aware that he would have heard the scream and come to find her with an undoubtably pale face. “Yeah” she breathes out, her voice stuttering slightly.

“What was it?” his face is deeply etched in concern but he stops a few steps away from her. Stealing each other’s flags once they have been retrieved is still very much on the table.

“I don’t know” Vanya shakes her head, trying to clear her thoughts. “Something jumped out and screamed at me. I initially thought it was Five since there was a flash of blue, but his flag was still there.”

“I also don’t think Five is the person to scream at people” Diego disregards.

“Who am I screaming at?” Five asks as he appears from around the corner, looking thoroughly confused.

“No one” Diego says. “Vanya was just saying that she saw a flash of blue when something screamed at her.”

“You mean that wasn’t you who screamed?” Five directs toward her.

“No. Almost did.”

“Then who did scream?” Allison asks as she reaches the top of the stairs.

“I don’t know, something just jumped out at me” Vanya explains.

“Are you sure you didn’t just imagine something?” Luther is the last to join the group, no doubt them all congregating up where they heard the scream come from.

“Don’t even start with that” Diego holds up a hand before an argument can start, beginning to walk through the group. “I’m going to check it out.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The situation confused Diego a great deal. He’d been quick to rule Five out of the picture because he really wasn’t one for scaring people. Purposefully anyway – he was great at doing it by accident. But that left them at a loss for a suspect, since Vanya wasn’t one to lie either. There had to be a logical explanation.

Confidently striding into the attic, he has a quick look around.

“There’s nothing in here!” he calls back out into the hallway, finding only dusty cupboards and a few stacks of old chairs.

Without a threat in sight he steps forward to snatch his orange flag off the line. After securing it to his belt he looks up to find a girl radiating blue light, standing directly in front of him.

“Hey, handsome” she smirks as he startles back with a small yelp that he can only pray that his siblings don’t hear.

He doesn’t stick around long enough to know if she disappears afterward or to know where she goes, immediately turning and making his way out the door.

“No one told me the place was haunted!” he points aggressively back to the attic as he makes his way back to the rest of the group.

“What, you mean you actually saw something?” Luther scoffs at him.

“Damn right I saw something! There’s ghost camping up in there!”

“Hold up, this seems way to convenient” Luther stops him. “I’m sure this is just a ploy to stop the exercise. I know you never wanted to do it in the first place.”

“I never had a problem with it” Vanya interjects but it’s largely ignored as Luther and Diego bicker back and forward with one another. Unsurprisingly it’s Allison who is the one to break it up.

“Goodness sake, cut it out! I’ll go check” she says before turning toward the attic.

The rest of them don’t know if she should go alone but before any of them can move to follow her, she disappears through the door. Collectively they hold their breath as they wait for her to return. Everything seems fine for the first few moments until they hear her scream and their hearts collectively drop before she loudly bursts out in sudden laughter.

She emerges from the attic with her hand over her stomach and a bright smile on her face, looking up to the heavens still laughing. Though her hands are empty with her flag forgotten.

Luther means to say something but all that comes out is a sound of confusion.

“How is that funny?” Diego is the first person to make out anything intelligible.

“Think about it” Allison says after taking a calming breath when she reaches the group. “Who’s the one of us who isn’t here?”

“Klaus” Diego and Five groan with a roll of their eyes.

“He wasn’t the one who jumped out at me” Vanya’s face creases in confusion.

“No, he’s not jumping out he’s getting someone else to do it for him” Allison explains.

“Where is he then?” Vanya asks.

“He’ll be around. Wouldn’t want to miss his own prank” Diego assures.

“I’ll find him” Five says before he stalks off into the attic.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

On all accounts Five shouldn’t be scared of anything. He’s handled his fair share of terrible experiences and dealings with horrible people. Though that doesn’t mean when he steps into the centre of the attic and a ghost abruptly bursts out at him, that he doesn’t startle back a bit.

From his spot in the cupboard Klaus scoffs a quiet laugh as Five suddenly disappears only to blink back a few steps away. He can help but feel proud of his efforts, Five had been the one he secretly wanted to get the most, figuring it would be hard to scare him being an ex-assassin and all. Though he immediately realises his mistake as Five’s head turns from staring down the ghost and over to the cupboard where he hides. Clearly having heard him.

Klaus has always kind of been jealous of Five’s power – anyone else’s really – but now he wishes he had it, watching his brother heading toward him with his face set in stone. Maybe he should have taken y/n’s advice and hidden somewhere rather than in a cupboard, that way he would have had a better chance to escape. Though he realises helplessly that there really is no escaping from Five, as the door is flung wide-open and he reaches forward to grapple him by the shoulder before whisking them both away.

Klaus wobbles slightly on his feet as Five lets go of his shoulder, leaving him standing alone in the centre of a circle formed by his siblings. All of them but Allison seem to be giving him varying levels of disapproving looks. He curls in on himself sheepishly, raising his hands to his shoulders moving them in shy jazz hands, before sing-songing “surprise.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“We need to get him back” Allison says as she walks into the kitchen finding all her siblings but Klaus seated at the table. There’s a childish smile on her face which none of them can say no to.

“Won’t that just encourage him to do it again?” Luther raises, although he’s not completely opposed to the idea of getting pay back.

“So what? I’d rather even the score for a bit than let him get away with it scot-free” Diego puts in.

“Anyone got any ideas?” Vanya asks.

“I have one” Five surprises them, leaning back in his chair, “but it’s reliant on Ben helping us.”

“Has anyone seen him? I haven’t seen him all day” Luther muses.

“Well, we can’t get Klaus to help us find him. Should we breakout the Ouija board?” Diego jokes.

“I’m here” Ben says, suddenly drawing all their attentions to the bench where he sits.

None of them startle as they used to do when he first began to appear on his own, but it remains that they all smile whenever they look at him. Still unused to seeing him after all those years, even if he is still glowing blue.

“I’m down for whatever” he says to Five before looking to the collective group. “You have no idea about some of the stuff he put me through.”

For now, none of them question it, but they make a note to bring it up with him later.

“You know I never thought of you as the pranking type” Allison blurts out, her voice raised a couple of pitches as she studies Five with a squint.

“I’m hugely spiteful” Five says coolly.

Diego hums in agreement before turning toward his brother, “what’s the plan?”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The lounge is dark apart from the light projecting from the little box television they had set up in front of the seating arrangement. Klaus sits on the floor leaving room for Diego, Allison and Vanya to fit on the couch, while Luther and Five sit in the chairs either side of it.

Occasionally the siblings find themselves smiling to one another over the suspense of what they are going to do to Klaus. Allison was the worst at keeping a straight face, Diego had been a hard one to crack but Allison had managed it just over a minute ago. Five was the only one yet to break.

Scenes from the Little Mermaid play across the screen, the children’s movie seeming innocent enough. Klaus seems fully invested swaying along to the music with the popcorn bowl that he’d insisted on holding in his arms. If only he knew what was coming.

The final note of Poor Unfortunate Souls is just fading out as a mass of blue tentacles erupt through the screen. Ben yelling out as he phases through it, glowing tentacles flailing out and reaching for Klaus.

From the floor their brother shrieks and jerks backward, sending the bowl in his arms sailing. To the sound of his siblings’ laughter, popcorn rains down over them like confetti celebrating a good revenge complete.

#tua #The Umbrella Academy #umbrella academy fanfiction #reader #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #prank #sibling bonding

15 notes · View notes

iwantutobehapppier · 5 years

Text

You Belong

This is a sequel to my story, Just Ask. Next parts can be found here: Mine, A Habit and Convalesce

Pairing: Jealous!Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: In between missions you and your fellow former Avenger fugitives take a break to celebrate Steve’s 100th birthday in Wakanda. However Steve does not appreciate the growing friendship between you and Bucky.

Warnings: Language, Dark!Steve, Jealous!Steve, light choking, Possessive!Steve, rough sex, oral, unprotected sex. 18 and older only, do not read if under the age of 18. This isn’t for everyone, if any of these situations bother you please read no further.

Word Count: 4,938

A/N: This is pretty much just minimal plot to get to Smut. Thank you so much for all the likes and reblogs of part one. The overwhelming support from last week has been amazing! Truly cannot thank you all enough. The writing has definitely improved in this one as I get back in the groove of writing. This one takes place before infinity war by idk a few months? Haha. Enjoy!

July 1st 2018

Steve was the last to board the Quinjet with the most recent mission completed, he ripped the com from his ear, his eyes on you until he walked past, clearly unhappy with you.

“Set a course for the safe house Sam,” Steve ordered patting Sam on the shoulder, Sam looked up giving a nod followed by “You got it Rogers,” and began course as instructed. You couldn’t help the frown that fell on your face, is that how he wanted you to act too? Steve turned to the back of the jet, his eyes narrowing in on you sitting in between Wanda and Natasha. The two of them were quietly talking trying to draw you into conversation in attempt to break the growing tension.

Steve practically stomped until he was in front of you, folding his arms over his stealth suit chest piece he looked down at you with increasing annoyance. Raising an eyebrow you waited for him to start in.

“How many time do I have to remind you that you can’t just go on your own? We are a team, we do this together or we don’t do it at all.” he forced an even tone. Natasha watching with a smirk, she often said the two of you were her best entertainment in between the missions. Wanda was rolling her eyes knowing he was over reacting because it was you while Sam continued watching the sky, he was less than thrilled at your behavior as well.

“I was the only one nearby and had I not intervened those civilians would have been dead.” You stood up placing your hand on your hips, the defiant stance not lost on his part, you could see his jaw clench and nostrils flare.

“They only got a few good hits in before the threat was dealt with, right?” His eyes were slits his hands balled into fists against his chest. It was clear his body language sending the red flag that you were one wrong step from a fight in front of the team.

“Next time communicate to your team instead of putting yourself in a risky situation without an escape plan.” He gritted between his teeth turning away from you to lean over Sam as neared the safe house. He was trying hard to quell is temper in front of everyone but you knew this argument was far from over.

You didn’t want to fight with him again, but it felt like he didn’t trust your judgment lately. If any of the others had done what you did there would be no discussion outside of if they were okay after the dust settled. With you there was this underlining message ‘you’re reckless, a danger and unhelpful’ and it was hard not to fight back each time. You had been fighting for S.H.E.I.L.D. while he was still sleeping beauty, how dare he treat you like you were new to the battle front.

Taking a deep breath you tried to distract yourself by talking to Wanda and Natasha, missing the softening worried look Steve gave looking back at you.

- 3 Days later -

You looked in the mirror trailing your fingers along the deep marks Steve left on your chest and up your neck that were clearly on display in the low dipped elegant dress you had on. It was Steve’s 100th birthday and T'Challa who had already kindly provided you all housing when you randomly visited in the past was also hosting the celebration.

“How am I going to cover these up?” Just as you spoke there was a knock at the door to the bedroom you shared with Steve.

Opening the door you saw Wanda and Natasha both dressed up for the celebration, their reaction clear when they saw the marks. Normally you were in your stealth suit that had a high collar or one of your many basic t-shirts that did a good job hiding them. Wanda gasped placing hand in front of her mouth and Natasha tried to unsuccessfully smoother a laugh. You huffed.

“You two going to just stare or give me some good concealer to cover this all up.” Natasha didn’t stifle her laughter this time.

“Come on lets cover up your ‘battle’ wounds” Natasha offered raising her eyebrows suggestively.

You were caught up chatting with Wanda and Natasha when people erupted in cheer at Steve entering the banquet hall with Bucky. The cheer brought large genuine smile to his face. Bucky placed his hand on Steve’s shoulder smiling as well, though he appeared a bit on edge, more than likely about the large crowd.

You slipped away from the main group, heading towards one of the bar areas set up around in the stylish banquet hall. Steve looked around for you and frowned when he saw you walking away, his brow furrowed noticing the startling lack of marks on your skin.

Continuing your way to the bar you couldn’t get over the kindness of T'Challa letting Steve celebrate his birthday here with his comrades and longest friend as well. You ordered your regular drink of choice and turned away from the bar, resting back on your elbows against the bar top. Your fellow outlaws were there along with some civilians Steve had befriended on their short stays in Wakanda.

You smiled softly, looking for the birthday boy. Seeing him chatting along with Natasha and random people made you happier. When his eyes found yours lingering on him he gave you a knowing look tapping at his neck. You felt nervousness take you over; you knew covering up the marks while the professional thing to do would not please him. The two of you still heated about the fight from last mission, you just wanted to look nice for his birthday.

His concentration on you broken as a new person came up to give him well wishes and chat. You quickly turned around downing your drink in attempts to calm your frazzled nerves.

As the celebrations began you found yourself at Steve’s side his arm wrapped around your waist keeping you folded into his side. You would look up at him from time to time a he conversed, amazed at seeing this side of him. It reminded you of the old Captain America friendly golden retriever demeanor he would have. Sometimes he would catch you looking at him and stare down at you, the telling darkness swirling in his ocean blue eyes bringing a shiver down your back. He pulled you flush to his chest the last time he caught you staring at him, his mouth against your ear you couldn’t help the fluttering in your stomach as his grip tightened around you.

“You keep looking at me like that and I’ll have to mark you in ways no make-up would be able to cover.” The next moment M'Baku walked up and Steve’s entire attitude shifted back, bringing you to his side once more, his grip loosened. You made an excuse to use the restroom and needing to calm yourself down from his words and touch.

When you were on your way back from the restroom you heard a hushed male voices and what sounded like your name coming from the men’s restroom. Quieting your steps you leaned against the wall, listening in you picked up it was Sam and Bucky having a very heated discussion.

“She doesn’t listen, and puts everyone at risk. I see it distracting Steve on missions. He can’t focus if she’s out there doing whatever she wants. He’ll scold her but then she does it again a few missions later,” Sam’s voice exasperated.

“From what Steve’s told me she was a S.H.E.I.L.D. operative for a long time. She may not be a soldier but-” Bucky was coming at your defense, not that you two were enemies but there wasn’t a solid connection between the two of you either, the luxury of time severally lacking in your life to make said connection.

“That’s just it! She’s not, she’s always been on her own or with the Avengers with all those extra powers to make up for her impulse control,” you felt a punch in your gut. So that was how he felt; you subconsciously chewed on your bottom lip, was it what Steve thought too?

“I’m telling you Sam this isn’t something to push Steve on. She is one of the best things that has happened to him.” Bucky’s words almost soothing the pain from Sam’s.

“She’s going to get herself killed or worse Steve killed when he tries to save her,” You caught yourself before the pained gasp escaped your lips, his words were like an ice grip in your chest.

“I’ll tell you one more time, coming from me, you have to listen Sam. The last time I saw Steve this at peace was back in 1936.” The year held significance to Steve’s life but you couldn’t find yourself able to recall anything too consumed in the pain this conversation was causing you. “If you push this I doubt you’ll like the outcome.” Bucky’s words heavy with warning and unknown consequences.

You heard Wanda call out your name, your eyes widening hoping the gentlemen in the restroom didn’t hear it but the unlocking of the men’s room told you otherwise.

“They’re bringing out the cake!” You speed walked to Wanda, not daring to see the men behind you walk back out in the main hall. You stopped yourself behind Steve, shakily taking his hand in yours not willing to move further into the fold of celebration. Steve squeezed your hand looking back at you. Forcing the best smile you could at him, his brow slightly creasing as he picked up something was not right. Before he could push the subject further they rolled out the cake.

“Happy Birthday dear Steven, happy birthday to you!” the small group sang together off key. Steve laughing, holding his chest at the large cake with 100 candles lit emitting heat even you felt standing behind him.

When he took a huge breath and blew out all 100 candles everyone cheered, Bucky coming up on his other side slapping Steve on the back making a comment about him being full of hot air.

You found yourself back at the bar ordering another drink not too longer afterwards, you downed it and ordered a double; the bartender eyeing you wearily as he made another. You began to drink the double in large gulps ignoring the burn when you heard a voice from behind you.

“You better watch out or you’ll be sloshed before you even get a piece of cake.” Bucky slid next to you at the bar.

You hmed non-committal while signaling the bartender for another round. When you went to reach for the new drink Bucky placed his hand over the drink looking down at you.

“Come on, don’t be stupid.” he looked at you knowingly. Oh he knew alright, knew you were a liability to Steve, knew you were not needed here, and knew you would only get everyone hurt.

“Shut up tin man,” you replied pulling your fourth drink of the night, third one in a row to yourself this time nursing instead of chugging it back.

He chuckled at you shaking his head lightly.

“I get the appeal, you know? You’ve got this fire in you that’s just begging to be tamed.” he muttered. Your eyes narrowed, how much had Steve shared with him about you?

You continued nursing your drink choosing silence as your strategy not trusting anything kind to leave your lips in your current state. Warm fuzziness began to crawl from the liquor in your belly to your head.

“You know he used to put news papers in his shoes to be taller? He was a scrawny little fucker,” You snickered, feeling yourself unwind at the image of pre-serum Steve filling his shows with news paper every morning. There was a part of him you longed to know more about, and this man, he knew him.

“But scrappy, he never said no to a fight, not caring if he’d win or not and let me tell you he rarely did win,” Bucky continued. The two of you started going back and forth with Steve stories as you kept drinking the comparing and contrasting the variable ways Steve would respond and the typical ways he would. You could feel the dark cloud lifting and your mood improving more and more.

“He can do this all day, right?” Bucky laughed as you mimicked Steve’s voice. You joined in placing your hand on his left shoulder but jerked away causing Bucky to still.

“I’m sorry-” he interrupted you. “It’s okay.” You nodded placing your hand back with slight trepidation. Neither of you noticing Steve’s twisted face watching the two of you through most of your interaction as he played good Birthday Boy talking with everyone.

“He can though, especially when protecting those he loves. Right?” He looked at you with a certain level of softness you hadn’t seen from him except when with Steve. There was so much history between the two of them how could you ever understand that relationship, did you even want to?

“What happened in 1936?” You hated how puny and needy you sounded asking. Looking at Bucky his face seemed to drop, as if he was far away in some memory.

“His mom passed, after that all he could think about was joining the military.” His voice was even toned but you could tell there was a lot unsaid there. You pulled your hand back from him, looking in your half filled glass trying hard to piece everything you were feeling together but the alcohol was making it hard to focus on any one of them for long.

You idly noticed the party had died down, you never got a piece of cake you couldn’t help the pout you gave, and it looked so good too. How long had the two of you been talking?

“About what Sam said-” but he never finished what he said instead Steve came over, wrapping an arm around your waist from behind, his hand protectively resting on your lower abdomen causing you to blush a deep scarlet at such an intimate touch in public.

“What is my best friend and best girl talking about?” His tone was less than pleased. You knew this tone and touch, he was jealous.

“You Steve,” you turned to face him smiling brightly trying to calm the storm building beneath him. You didn’t want to have this fight, not after everything that you’ve heard today.

“Yeah man, what else do we have in common but you?” Bucky supported your claim.

Steve gave a curt nod, taking the truth but his grip did not relax around you.

Natasha sauntered up to the three of you. “The party is continuing elsewhere if you three would like to enjoy the evening instead of this intense but I’m sure thrilling staring competition.”

“I think I’ll join in,” Bucky was the first to speak, and then looked at Steve expectantly. “Birthday boy?”

Steve shook his head, “No I think we’re going to retire for the night, I am 100 after all. So are you Buck, don’t go too hard.” He winked at him.

“Let’s go home,” Steve commanded more than suggested to you and given how the drinks were mixing in your head you gave no protest, letting him drag you back but not before he hugged Bucky farewell and you waved to Natasha who wiggled her eyebrow suggestively with a wave.

It was eerily silent in the elevator as you two made your way up. You could still feel the effects of the alcohol causing you to sway. Your eyes caught Steve’s, you couldn’t help but smile at his rugged look, hair longer than you’d ever seen on him and a full beard you loved feeling against your skin. You pressed your body up against him; instinctively he wrapped his arms around your back, gently cupping your butt with one hand.

“Bucky is nice,” you muttered out randomly. Steve’s face was hard looking down at you his grip tightening, instantly regretting your words.

He pushed you against the wall of the elevator slamming both hands on each side of your head, the sound of the metal being hit with his strength nearly deafening. He sneered at you as you whimpered.

“I’m sure you’d know since you ignored me most the night to talk to him.” Bending his head down, eyes at your level this was somehow more intimidating and starting to piss you off. “It wasn’t his birthday party was it?” the condescending tone broke your resolve to night fight with him today.

The elevator stopped and you ducked out from under the cage of his arms making your way out, you turned your head slightly back to him, “Maybe if the birthday boy actually paid attention to me instead of using me as arm piece I wouldn’t had to find better company for the evening.” The snarl that followed had you making your way quickly to the front door, knowing he was hot on your tail after that comment.

You were past the front door and half way down the hall to the bedroom when you heard him slam the front door with a force that caused the wall to shake so much you could hear the rattling of wall decoration. You were thankful the others had continued to party into the night.

Just as your hand touched the bedroom door knob his hand was on top of yours stilling it, pushing his front up against your back until you were plastered to the door. His breath was heavy in your ear.

“If he was such good company why didn’t you go with him instead of me?”

“You didn’t give me a choice to do so, Captain.” You popped the p of the one word you hadn’t called him since Siberia. He was nearly frothing at the mouth in anger when he shoved the bedroom door open. You would have fallen face first if he hadn’t quickly picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder. He swatted your ass hard making his way into the connected bathroom. He sat you down on the counter and spread your legs apart pushing his pelvis directly against you, ensuring you could feel his growing arousal. Standing in-between your legs he began to wet a rag.

“What are you-”

“Shut up,” his tone was harsh enough to pull you from the alcohol haze.

“You wore this tantalizing dress showing so much of your irresistible skin but hiding the most beautiful part.” He began to wipe along your neck and chest. You swore you heard him purr while uncovering his love marks.

“Then you talk, laugh and touch Bucky most of the night. Ignoring me.” He gripped you by the back of your neck jerking your head up to him. His lips ghosted over yours and an uncontrollable whimper left your lips as you tried to reach for his lips but he pulled your head back.

“Oh no no doll face. Do you think you can just kiss and make this better?” he taunted you. Annoyed at his denial and frustrated with his controlling you couldn’t help but feed the fire burning between you two. “Maybe I should go find Bucky, think he will kiss me?”

His eyes were nearly solid black, snarling at you he took you by the back of your neck and slammed you against the bathroom wall directly behind him. He bunched your dress up around your waist and when he went to pull your underwear off his eyes went wide then narrowed dangerously the lack of clothing. You face flushed hot at embarrassment and arousal of his behavior.

Without a word he began to run slow circles against your clit with his thumb and teasing your entrance with his pointer and middle fingers.

“Is that what you want?” His taunting tone making you struggle against him. He pushed his body flush against yours stilling your movement as his fingers dripped inside you.

“Want me to show you who you belong to?” He whispered in your ear and you closed you eyes at the wet noises emitting from his attention clearly giving away your desire.

“Did you forget you were mine?” thrusting his fingers inside you and increasing his pressure on your clit a soft moan escaped your lips.

“Oh your body knows who it belong to,” he chuckled at you, feeling the vibrations against your breasts. Steve’s beard rubbed against your neck in the most delightful way, you felt yourself whimpering and losing control to the sensations.

“Do you think anyone could make you feel this way doll face?” He pulled his hands from you and lifted your dress off your body, you raising your hands without any protest, too drunk on the feeling to fight his words or actions. He fell to his knees in front of you, pulling one leg over his shoulder you could hear him inhale deeply.

“No one knows what you truly need but me.” He raised one hand, rolling and pulling one of your nipples in between his fingers while interchanging to massaging the whole breast as well. Trailing his other hand along your inner thigh of raised leg, he smirked looking up at you, and the sinful way his blown pupils shined at you sent a shiver up your spine. “Only I can make you feel this way.”

With that he dipped his head down and lapped from the bottom of your entrance up to your clit where he began to gently suck whilst tracing patterns along it with the tip of his tongue, his beard rubbing against your thighs, you threw your head back gasping out his name thighs shaking at the utter intesnity.

He pulled your other leg over his shoulder with his free hand, purely supporting your weight on his shoulder; bringing the hand to your entrance he shoved three fingers in, and spreading them apart as much as he could.

You gripped his hair between your fingers, trying to pull his head up. He grunted against your force, trailing his hand from your breast to around your neck but applying no pressure. Your pulling stopped instead you began to pull his shirt up, once his bunched up enough you began to drag you fingernails into his back.

He chuckled against you at your instant compliancy, the vibrations causing whimpers and moans to fall from your mouth. As if rewarding your good behavior he started to thrust his fingers in and out of you roughly. Your moans rose in volume, you could feel the tightening in your abdomen; suddenly he stopped, pulling his head back you looked down at him in confusion.

“You’re gonna cum on my cock, because that’s where you belong.” He rose up to his feet, forcing you to stand up on weak knees. Desperate for his promised words you began to unbutton his checkered long sleeve shirt working to get it off in frenzy, while he undid his pants, pulling them and his briefs down in one movement. Your hands slid up his undershirt, bunching it at his chest and pulling off. Without missing a moment he hooked one of your legs around his waist, you held on to his shoulders as you wrapped the other leg around.

He held you at your waist pressing your back against the wall. He looked you in the eyes before smashing his lips against yours, devouring your mouth you moaned as your tongues met. He controlled your waist, rubbing your slit along his cock that stood up straight, flushed against his lower abdomen.

“Steve please,” You begged him; desperate to feel the release you knew he could give. He took your hand and placed it around the base of his cock.

“Show me where you belong doll face.” your eyes widened, and hesitantly you lined him up with your slick entrance. Using his grip on your waist he pulled you down onto him, you both groaned out in unison.

“You feel that? The way you stretch so perfectly around me,” painstakingly he moved you down until you were at the base.“Every time I think you will surely break.” He panted against your neck

He held your legs and began to thrust up into you, leisurely, enjoying the way you it felt as he pulled himself almost all the way out but loving it when he couldn’t control himself and quickly pushed all the way in.

“But you take it so well, you crave this cock. Don’t you?” his voice wavering at the pleasure.

“Yes,” You cried out, your head lulling to the side as the pace picked up. He groaned, burying his head in your neck he pounded into you. Panting so hard your hair moved with each breath out as he chased that release.

You whimpered out his name feeling yourself begin to fall of the precipice. He groaned your name back to you, his tempo increasing; you could feel the bruises you would have tomorrow on your lower back being pushed against the wall each time.

It didn’t matter though, none of it did except him, there between your legs, in your life, giving you life. You clung to him as you came around his pounding cock. His pace became erratic and you could feel him swelling inside of you.

He whispered your name, feeling him flood you.

When you finally opened your eyes that following morning Steve was laying fully dressed on his stomach arms folded under his head staring at you. He’s eyes brightened when you caught his gaze.

“Good morning,” his voice was soft and gentle causing you to avert your gaze at the feelings it brought you.

“Natasha and Sam have new intel for us, shower and we’ll meet to discuss,”

“Shower with me?” You offered with a sly smile.

“Oh doll face I would, but we both know it wouldn’t be just a shower. That why I took mine before you woke up.” you pouted at him rising to your feet.

“I can’t help myself when you’re wet and naked, it is too tempting.” Licking his lips as starred at you, his eyes lingering on your back side fighting the temptation. He swatted your ass and chuckled at your squeal.

You dried yourself off after a lonely shower feeling your thoughts wander back to last night at the party. Sam’s words only echoed what you had feared Steve felt recently. Numbly you made your way into the bedroom and got dressed, ignoring Steve as he watched your pensive face with growing concern.

“Let’s get going, we may have to ship out soon for this one from what Natasha was saying.” Steve trying to rush you teetering the line of not pushing too hard. He knew you like to take your time in the mornings.

“I shouldn’t go,” you spoke softly while pulling your shirt over your bra.

Steve stood up from the bed and pulled you to look at him; he pulled his his bottom lip between his teeth with worry at your words.

“It’s important to have the team together on these missions. You know that.”

“You don’t trust me so what does it matter?” He blinked slowly, his brain trying to shift gears given your statement and the levity of it.

“How could you even say that? I trust you with the most secret parts of myself, doll face.” his eyes moving around your face trying to get some kind of clue as to what was going on in that head of yours.

“Then why do you fight with me after almost every mission. Why is it always I’m wrong for doing the right thing just because it could or does get me hurt?” He sighed and pulled you into his chest, resting his chin on the top of your head. You could feel the tears pricking at the corner of your eyes.

“Your independence scares me.” he pulled back a bit to look you in the eyes again, “If it was anyone else I would be fine with your quick thinking but it’s you,”

“I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you. I couldn’t live without you.” he finished; you averted your gaze at the last statement. Making you uncomfortable to think his whole world hinged on you.

“Don’t say things like that,” he pulled your chin gently, encouraging you to look at him once more. “You get so mad at me and we keep fighting.”

“If it seems like I’m mad at you more than anything I’m mad at myself for letting you be in a situation where you have to make those choices.” He couldn’t blame himself, you shook your head.

“Steve it’s our line of work. That cannot be helped,” you tried to reason with him. He held your face between both his hands, fingers splayed across your face.

“You mean everything to me, you and Buck are it. I will always worry and watch over you. Nothing will change that.“ His words were warm but firm with a resolve you knew you couldn’t break.

“Okay, Okay. I get it. I just,” you paused “Try to see things my way before you get mad next time?” His face lit up with a bright smile at your acceptance, kissing you gently conveying his love through such a tender moment.

He pulled away. “I make no promises.”

#jealous!steve #dark!steve rogers #dark!steve #steve rogers smut #steve rogers x female reader #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #avengers #captain america smut #captain america #marvel #fanfic

2K notes · View notes

quercussp · 4 years

Text

Long-horned beetles and dusty archives

Rating: T

Word count: 4.7k

Summary: Dan was climbing up the marble steps of the museum full of dread and resentment. It was Sunday morning, and all his classmates were probably still asleep, or nursing their hangovers from the party before. But Dan couldn’t do that, no. Because Dan skipped too many classes in his General Biology course, he now would have to make it up with extra credit. By working at some sort of museum with some grad student that needed help sorting bugs. Yuck.

Spoiler: the grad student is Phil.

Authors note: A belated birthday present for @insectbah. You are my people and I treasure it immensely.

A gigantic thank you to @redactednp and @alittledizzy for encouragement and fantastic beta work.

Warnings: there are mentions of insects in this fic. Also very light swearing.

[read on ao3]

Dan was climbing up the marble steps of the museum full of dread and resentment. It was Sunday morning, and all his classmates were probably still asleep, or nursing their hangovers from the party before. But Dan couldn’t do that, no. Because Dan skipped too many classes in his General Biology course, he now would have to make it up with extra credit. By working at some sort of museum with some grad student that needed help sorting bugs. Yuck. The reason Dan took this class in the first place was because people told him that the professor was chill and most people got A’s. They forgot to mention that in order to get an A you actually had to work. It’s not like Dan was interested in any of this shit. Carbon cycling, ATPs, exoskeletons… all that sounded like pure gibberish and had absolutely no use for him in his future career.

Not that he knew what that future career was going to be. Or if there was even going to be one. Or if he was just gonna go back to working at the department store, spending his evenings playing video games by himself and being miserable, eating stale pizza and wasting away his life without any happiness whatsoever. Ok, Dan was a tad dramatic sometimes, he could admit that. But for now he was trying to get through college that his father insisted he go to, barely scraping by with grades to keep up his scholarship and just randomly taking classes in everything, in the hopes that something will rock his world and make him feel like a human and not a blob. So far bio101 was not turning out to be that.

Dan took a pause in front of the tall wooden doors of the side entrance of the museum with a small sign saying “Employees only”. Here goes nothing.

He pulled the door open and walked into the entrance hall. A bored looking security guard looked up from his phone as Dan approached the security desk.

“Can I help you?” the guard asked eyeing Dan suspiciously.

“Yes, I’m here to see…” Dan checked the note on his phone “... Philip Lester? From the entomology department?”

The guard searched around his desk. “I don’t have any notes from anyone, was he supposed to meet you here? Can’t let you in without an employee signing you in.”

Dan felt the familiar shiver of anxiety of not being in the right place stir up in his chest. “I don’t know, sir,” he replied. His professor just said to show up at 8 am. Nothing else.

“Can you call him?” the guard asked.

“I don’t have his number. I guess I’ll just wait here.”

“Ok,” the security guard replied, going back to his phone.

Well this was perfect Dan thought to himself. It was 8:05, he woke up at an ungodly hour to be here, and now he couldn’t even get into the building. Just perfect, everything was perfect.

He sat down on a bench next to the entrance and absentmindedly scrolled through his twitter feed. Why did he even decide to take this stupid class? And why did he have to miss three seminars in one semester? He could have been in his tiny bed under his blanket right now, sleeping.

Dan was almost ready to give up and just go home, when he heard loud steps approaching and a disheveled looking guy ran out of one of the doors and towards the security guard.

If Dan wasn’t irritated from being up so early and being forced to wait for 20 minutes, he would probably have noticed that the guy was very cute. As in very very cute. He was tall, almost as tall as Dan, had a messy quiff of dark hair, glasses and a smile that just made the whole room light up. He was also wearing a sweater with little bees embroidered across it and Dan could see that the socks that were peeking out from under his skinny jeans were mismatched. Ok, maybe Dan noticed all this despite being sleep deprived and grumpy. Maybe it was very hard to miss.

“I’m so so sorry I’m late! You’re Dan, right? I’m Phil. Sorry, Dan, you must have been waiting for so long! I totally lost track of time!”

The guy was out of breath and looking so apologetic that Dan’s annoyance melted away entirely.

“No it’s fine. Yeah, I’m Dan. Nice to meet you” Dan stood up and awkwardly offered his hand to shake Phil’s, only to realize that it was super sweaty and retracting it to wipe on his jeans just as Phil extended his. “Shit, sorry,” he said as he attempted to shake Phil’s hand again. Phil’s hand was nice. It was sweaty and warm, but also very very soft and smooth. His fingers were long and thin and bony and Dan was definitely not intensely looking at his fingers at all, that would be totally weird.

If Phil thought that Dan looking too intently at his hands was weird, or that their handshake lasted significantly longer than was socially accepted, he didn’t show it.

“Thank you for coming Dan, I’ll take you up to my office, we’re going to have so much fun! I’ve wanted to have someone help me out forever!” Phil swiped his ID card at the gate (his ID card was covered in animal stickers and Dan felt his heart skip a beat).

Phil took Dan up the stairs and through long semilit corridors of the museum. Dan never realized what museums looked like beyond the showrooms. For some reason, he just assumed that working in a museum meant like wiping glass off of showcases or something. He didn’t even think of the fact of just how many rooms there were beyond what the visitors got to see.

While they walked through the corridors Phil kept rambling.

“Jeremy, I mean Professor Knight, said that you want to help out with indexing of my latest collection. I mean… I guess I don’t know if you actually want to. But if you don’t like it I can find something else for you to do. I don’t want you to be miserable of course! It’s actually fun! And if you have to leave early, don’t worry! I understand, I mean I won’t tell Jer.. Professor Knight.”

Dan stayed quiet. Phil’s eyes were really nice. They were such a magical blue color…

“This is me!” Phil came to a halt at a door covered in posters from top to bottom. Most of them were different bugs, but there were also a couple of old magazine pages and a drawing of an octopus waving a pride flag. Dan’s heart did another skippity skip and he felt his neck getting really warm.

Phil took out a gigantic keyring full of keys and started going through it. He finally pulled out a small silver key and unlocked the door, gesturing at Dan to come in.

They walked in and Phil turned on the light. The office was tiny and overflowing with things. There were shelves lining all the walls, full of books and papers and random boxes. Some of them were covered by what looked like scientific posters with graphs and weird figures. The whole office smelled like dust and old books and also some other particular smell Dan couldn’t place.

“You can leave your stuff here if you want,” Phil said, gesturing to a desk that was almost entirely covered by papers. “Let me just gather some stuff and we can go to the collection room”. Even though Dan had known Phil for like 5 minutes, he felt that he could tell that this was Phil’s desk immediately. The whole side of the desk was covered in layers and layers of stickers. There was a slightly sad looking cactus standing on the desk with a LED light over it. The cactus was decorated with a paper chain of little beetles. A gigantic unicorn glass was on the corner of the desk, overflowing with pencils and pens, and with a rainbow flag sticking out of it. There was also a giant mug with what looked to be a starbucks logo on it, except it had a bug drawn on it and the periphery said “Entomology Coffee Co.”

Dan threw his bag on the chair on the desk and took a step back, putting his hands in his pockets.

After a little bit of rummaging through the mess on his desk, Phil let out an “aha!” and turned to Dan, holding a pile of notebooks, a laptop and some papers. “Let's go!” Phil said, opening the office door and turning off the light.

They continued walking through the maze of the museum corridors.

“So Dan, you’re a 3rd year, right? What’s your major?” Phil asked.

Dan immediately froze up on the inside. It was a totally normal question to ask, it wasn’t Phil’s fault that Dan was a total fuck up and didn’t know what he was doing.

“I… I actually haven’t declared one yet,” Dan answered quietly, blushing a little bit.

“Oh! That’s fine, I also didn’t know what major to declare! It’s ok, you have time!”

“Do I though?” Dan asked before he could stop himself. “Aren’t I supposed to know what I’m doing with my life?”

“Oh Dan, no one knows what they’re doing with their life!” Phil answered smiling kindly. “Getting a degree in something doesn’t suddenly make you know who you are.”

They made another sharp turn and started climbing some stairs.

“But you know what you want to do, right? You’re in grad school, you like these bugs and everything.” Dan replied.

Phil slowed down for a moment and looked at Dan. “I guess in some ways? But knowing that I like looking at insects doesn’t really help me know what I want to do in life. We’re all as confused as you are. We just fake it better.” Phil gave Dan a cheeky wink and continued walking. “The most important thing is to figure out what makes you happy, and then find a way to do that as much as possible. And there’s no time limit on that. For now, my insects make me happy, so I’m doing that. But who knows what’s ahead? Don’t pressure yourself, Dan.”

Phil was smiling so warmly at Dan, it was a bit shocking. Dan couldn’t remember the last time he felt so warmed by someone’s smile. He mumbled “Thank you,” quietly and looked away. He could feel a tear forming in his eye and the last thing he wanted was for Phil to see it.

There was a whirlpool of feelings in Dan’s chest. A load he didn’t know he was carrying suddenly felt lighter. Everyone around him kept telling him that he needs to make a choice. Do things. Declare a major. Find a job. Decide what team he batted for. Just everything. And here was a person, an older person, telling him that it was ok. Dan did not know how badly he needed to hear that.

They reached a large hall filled with gigantic wooden shelves with drawers.

“Welcome to the entomology collections Dan!” Phil exclaimed, as though he was showing Dan the most precious treasures in the world. Somehow Dan felt like he was warming up to bugs. If Phil was so happy about them, they couldn’t be bad, could they?

Phil placed all his stuff on a large desk next to a window and went to pull out a couple drawers from the shelves.

"Okay, so here's the specimens I collected over the summer. I need your help to put them into the museum database and make tags for them." Phil started explaining the process as he opened up a dirty looking notebook. "So here's my field notes. Sorry about the handwriting, just ask me if you can't read something."

Phil’s handwriting was indeed very bad. Very very bad.

“So for each of these jars…” Phil took out a jar from the drawer, and Dan felt an instant pang of disgust and nausea in his gut. There were bugs in the jars. Urgh. Insects. With their little legs. “... we need to make a card to put in the collection, and then insert all the data from the notes into this spreadsheet. You ok, Dan?”

Dan could feel that his body was tense and there were drops of sweat dripping down his back. “I just don’t really like bugs,” he said quietly, willing his stomach to calm down.

“Oh! Why didn’t you say! Oh no!” Phil looked so concerned that Dan would laugh if he didn’t feel so uncomfortable with all the little dead bugs in the jars. “You should have told your professor, he’s not a monster! I’m so sorry Dan!”

“It’s ok Phil, I’ll get over it. Don’t want to be a bother,” Dan said timidly, looking away.

“It’s not a bother! Dan, you can’t control things like this! How about we do this, you type in the field notes into the spreadsheet, and I’ll label the jars. Yes, and you can sit on this end of the table and I’ll turn away so you don’t see the jars. Is that ok?”

Phil’s concern was so genuine that Dan didn’t know what to do with himself. He felt silly for making someone worry about him, but oddly comforted by the fact that Phil wanted him to be happy and that he cared. He missed that feeling. Someone listening.

“That’s fine Phil, thank you. Sorry I’m such a wimp.”

“You’re not a wimp, Dan.” Phil looked sternly at him. “I’m scared of horses. Does that make me a wimp?”

“Horses? Why are you scared of horses?” Dan replied smiling.

“They look like they have something on their mind. And I always feel like they’re judging me.”

Dan burst out laughing. Phil’s lips stretched into a smile as well. “Seriously, their eyes are just full of mystery.”

“You’re not a wimp, Phil, you’re a weirdo,” Dan laughed. For a moment he felt like he crossed a line, calling someone you just met, someone who is in charge right now, a weirdo was probably not polite. But Phil just chuckled and looked flattered.

“Normal is boring anyway,” Phil replied.

They spent a minute looking at each other, smiling, and Dan could feel a blush creeping onto his neck and cheeks.

“Ok, let’s get to work!” Phil said, and began showing Dan how to fill out the database.

***

Turns out, working for extra credit in the museum collections was not nearly as boring or tedious as Dan thought. Or maybe it was that being with Phil wasn’t boring. They sat at the table going though notes and papers, sometimes chatting, sometimes just sitting in silence. Talking with Phil was nothing like talking to anyone else. He was effortlessly funny, genuine and most of all, incredibly kind. Dan had friends. Or at least he thought of them as friends. But he knew Phil for two hours and he already trusted to tell him things he would never tell his friends.

“My dad really wanted me to become a lawyer. But you need top grades for that and I failed the exam twice. The second time I just didn’t show up. I’m such a loser.”

“You’re not a loser, Dan. It sounds like you really hated those classes. If it’s not for you, it’s not for you. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure.”

“But I don’t know what I like. Everyone keeps saying that university is supposed to be this amazing time, but I feel I’m doing it wrong. Everyone else is off having fun, making friends, and I’m just… alone and miserable.” Dan looked up from his screen to look at Phil’s expression. It was as kind as always.

“University can be tough. Everyone is different, you know? And sometimes it takes some time to find your people. Don’t worry about that. I’m sure you’ll find them.”

“I just can’t fail at this too. I’ve already failed at everything else. At least according to my dad.”

Dan felt silent and Phil just listened, showing no judgement or question. He looked at Dan and Dan just wanted to drown in his eyes. They looked safe. Dan had never felt more safe in his life.

Their conversation slowly shifted to music, and Dan discovered that Phil’s music tastes were incredibly similar to his. “No way your favorite band is Muse, so is mine!” Dan was exclaiming, “I went to see them like 3 times!”

“So did I! I remember the concert in 2010 they gave in London, blew my mind!” Phil said.

“No way! At Wimbledon? I was there!” Dan replied. “You’re joking!”

“No, I was there! Wait, I’ll show you a pic!” Phil started scrolling through his phone and finally pulled up a photo of him and another guy with his arms around his shoulder.

“Phil… is that an emo fringe?!” Dan shreaked. “Oh my god, were you an emo? Wait, and your hair was black too? Oh, Phil…”

“Hey, emos are valid” Phil said smiling. “And my fringe looked great, not everyone has effortlessly beautiful curls on their big heads!”

Dan chose to store the memory of Phil saying that his curls were beautiful somewhere deep in his mind so he could later reflect on that in detail. Instead he took out his phone and searched through his photos.

“Phil, I was an emo wannabe as well, haha, and I would have killed for your fringe back in 2010. I spent most of my life straightening my hair every day!” He pulled up a photo of his younger self and inwardly cringed at himself. But if Phil would find it amusing to look at, Dan could take it.

“Oh Danny! You look so precious! Oh my, you’re such a baby!” Phil was looking at the kid in the photo with so much softness. “I wish I would have met you at that concert, we would have definitely hit it off with our emo hair and love for muse!”

“Yeah..” Dan said, trailing off.

They continued working, until Phil’s stomach gave a loud rumble.

“Sorry!” Phil said, blushing. He looked at his phone to check the time. “Oh, it’s lunch time! Want to go eat something? The cafe is closed today, but I have some sandwiches and there’s a vending machine on the second floor.”

Dan, who was getting quite hungry himself, eagerly stood up and followed Phil out of the collection room. They ended up walking through the mammals exhibit to get to the vending machine, and Dan felt a sense of foreboding, walking through a completely empty museum, his steps loudly echoing off of the walls.

They ate their chips and drank some soda while sitting on the steps of the Ancient Egypt room, with Phil telling Dan funny stories about odd encounters he had had. When Phil was describing his visit from the Holy Mother, Dan was almost crying from laughter. “You just attract weirdos, don't you!”

After they had some lunch, Phil took Dan through some of the empty exhibits to show him the coolest stuff. And because Dan didn’t like insects, Phil instead showed him the dinosaurs, which apparently he also knew everything about.

Eventually, they ended up back at their desk, going back to work. Talking to Phil was as easy as breathing, and Dan felt like he knew this guy for years. That’s why he just couldn’t help but wonder.

Dan spent a solid 10 minutes debating if it would be appropriate to ask Phil what he was thinking.

Deciding to go for it, he tried to ask as nonchalantly as possible “You have a pride flag on your desk?”

Phil silently pulled another jar out of the drawer. Dan suddenly felt terrified that he crossed the line, went too personal. But Phil calmly started filling out the next card and replied: “Yeah, I’m gay.”

Dan was stunned. Not by the fact that Phil was gay. He knew gay people, he wasn’t shocked by that. Just by how easily Phil said that. Just like that. I’m gay . As though it’s not a big deal. As though it’s not the biggest deal of all the deals. As though he wasn’t scared of saying it.

Dan’s hands were shaking and he was struggling to breathe properly. He was just looking at Phil, being Phil. With his rainbow flags, and his nerdy sweater and silly stickers.

Phil looked at Dan for a minute, as though about to ask something, but ended up staying silent and just going back to his work.

They were silent for some time, working in quiet. Dan thought it would be awkward, but it wasn’t. Even though Dan was shaking inside, he felt warm. He felt as though Phil just shared this piece of information with Dan but didn’t want anything in return. He was just giving Dan the opportunity to change the topic, or to talk about anything else if he wanted.

Dan’s curiosity won over his fear. “And like, does everyone know?”

Phil smiled in return. “I mean, it’s hard to miss, right? I’m out, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Oh”.

After a long pause, Dan suddenly blurted out: “I think I’m gay too.” His entire body went into panic mode. He was trembling all over and felt he couldn’t look at Phil anymore, so he closed his eyes.

He felt a warm smooth hand on his arm.

“Thanks for telling me, Dan,” Phil said. He gave Dan’s arm a gentle squeeze and let go. Dan immediately felt colder without the touch.

And that was it. After about a minute of silence Dan opened his eyes. The world was still here. No one other than him seemed to have felt that giant shift in the universe. Phil was quietly working on his index cards, humming some kind of melody, as though he didn’t just witness Dan’s complete meltdown.

A wave of relief washed through Dan. The panic in his chest was replaced with elation. He just said that out loud. He just came out. To one person maybe, but he did.

“Why do you even like insects?” Dan decided to break the silence.

Phil laughed. “Everyone asks me that. But insects are just so amazing Dan!” Phil’s eyes were sparkling. “You know that there are more species of insects than there are of all other land animals combined? They are truly the most diverse group of organisms in the world. And they can live almost anywhere! Truly, it’s amazing. Anywhere you look there are insects, and they’re all so different and fascinating and we just don’t know so much about them, how would anyone not want to learn more about them? Like, for example, the group that I study are called long-horned beetles, and there’s like 26 thousand different species, but we still don’t know really how they evolved or how they are related. Can you believe that? And we’re still discovering new species all the time…��

Dan felt his focus shift from what Phil was talking about to how he was talking about it. His whole face was lit up, his eyes full of passion, he was gesturing and Dan was entranced. He couldn’t tear his eyes away. Where was this person his entire life? He didn’t even know people like this existed. Was this the feeling of finding “your people” that Phil talked about?

“... Dan are you even listening?” Dan felt himself shaken out of his trance. “Sorry! I tend to ramble about things, I’ll stop talking about beetle phylogenies now!”

Phil was smiling his apologetic and kind smile and Dan wanted to hug him.

“No! Phil it’s fine, you’re not rambling. I just don’t understand most of it. And I hate bugs. But I really like listening to you!”

Phil looked a little red in the face and elbowed Dan in the side playfully. “Well if you hate bugs we can’t be friends, I talk about insects a lot.”

“Oh no, I guess I have to become an entomologist now,” Dan joked. Because he would. He would do anything to be Phil’s friend.

“I wouldn’t do that to you, Mr. I’mTerrifiedofMoths,” Phil replied. “We can always talk about Muse instead.”

They both smiled. It was getting and the table they were working at was being lit by the setting sun.

“I guess it’s time to go home” Phil said finally. The cold feeling was settling back into Dan’s chest. They gathered their kit and put away the specimens, making their way back to Phil’s office. After collecting their stuff, Phil led Dan out back to the side entrance and past the security guard. They walked down the steps of the museum in silence.

Say something. Just say something, Dan. Dan’s heart was thumping loudly. He gathered all the courage he had.

“Phil, do you want to go get a coffee?”

Phil turned around and his face was lit up by his warm bright smile. “Sure! There’s a Starbucks right around the corner, I am craving a Caramel Macchiato right now!”

“Pfff Phil, I didn’t know you were into multi million corporations that profit off of you being a basic bitch,” Dan replied.

“Well then I’ll go drink my delicious warm treat and you can stand outside and watch me,” Phil said and stuck his tongue out at Dan.

“I’ll watch your mum,” Dan snorted, bumping their shoulders together teasingly. Just the thought of having to be away from Phil was making him sad. As they kept walking Dan was wondering how he possibly could continue being in Phil’s presence. The mean part of Dan’s brain was telling him that no way this older, funny, beautiful, adorable guy would hang out with a loser like Dan. But the hopeful, eager part of him wanted to believe that Phil felt the connection between them as much as Dan. Or at least that he would, if they had some more time together.

“Can I come help you with your work sometime?” Dan asked hesitantly.

“Nah, that’s fine. I know insects aren’t your thing,” Dan felt his spirits sink. “Why don’t you instead come play Mario Kart with me at my place? We can hang out and there will be no bugs in sight, not counting my pet cockroaches, but you’ll learn to love them, they’re very cute.”

Dan felt happiness swell in him again. “Be careful what you wish for, Lester, I’m the Mario Kart king! Be prepared to have your ass handed to you!”

“Feeling cocky, Howell?” Phil replied with a raised eyebrow. Then he took out his phone and handed it to Dan. “Punch your number in. I’ll send you my number and my address. Come over any time after class, I’m usually home by 5.”

Dan quickly typed in the digits of his phone number. “Aren’t you scared I’ll come over and never leave? You barely know me,” he said jokingly, giving the phone back.

“Why would I be scared of that?” Answered Phil. “It would give us more time to hang out. So it sounds like a win to me.” He smiled a bit shyly, and looked down at his phone.

Dan’s phone pinged.

this is phil the insect guy ^.^ let’s be friends <3

Dan heart felt too big for his chest.

ok bug boy :P but keep your cockroaches away from me

Dan quickly texted back and put his phone away.

“I’ll make you come around to insects, Dan, don’t you worry. I’ll wear you down. You’ll learn to love them.” Phil was smiling at him.

“Never!” Dan declared dramatically. “I will never get what you like about them!”

“You know, you have much more in common with them then you think,” Phil said.

Dan gasped with mock offense. “Are you saying I’m a cockroach?!”

Phil chuckled. “Nah, you wish.” He continued with a quieter voice. “But you also have a hard exoskeleton on the outside, but are soft and endlessly fascinating on the inside. And I could also study you forever.” Their eyes met for a moment and they both blushed and looked down.

They continued to walk side to side, their arms softly brushing against each other. Walking through the city Dan felt as though he was seeing it for the first time. It was quite beautiful. The street lights were on and and lights twinkled in the trees in the trees. The air smelled of spring and happiness.

#phan #phanfiction #fic rec #i'm smart #i accidentally deleted the previous post #oops #so i'm reposting it #in any case #this is sort of a self reblog

50 notes · View notes