#not to mention she knows which ships are for orgies and stuff???

[worstloki]

Can I just say that the whole ‘Loki f*cking the Grandmaster to get to the top’ always made me super uncomfortable, and I legit thought I was crazy for being the only person (that I knew) that thought Loki was clearly weirded out by the whole situation because everyone else thought he was??? But then I found you and your blog and tags made me feel so relieved because... idk that’s just not some he would really do. He’s extremely intelligent. Pretty sure boi could think of another plan besides sleeping around. Any ways thank you for having such an awesome blog, you are most definitely one of my favorites 😌😌😁

oh no that entire situation is definitely messed up and fandom just has a thing for romanticizing abusive relationships which needs to go down

if it makes you uncomfortable it’s most assuredly a good thing which means you’re observant and can pick up on red flags; and apart from that it is most certainly an inconsistency in his characterization anyways

and no worries! I’m honoured you’re liking my blog!

#loki is already a character that struggles with agency and the end of his arc should've been a self reclamation of it #ragnarok had a lot of inconsistencies but the fact that such a large portion of the fandom thinks loki/grandmaster is canon is... worrisome #the concept of loki showing up and adapting to the situation by sleeping his way to the top is hilarious #but only because it implies loki chose to do that #what we see in canon is loki being pressurized by the grandmaster who is generally being a creep #it's made a whole lot worse when loki is clearly uncomfortable and the grandmaster is still there all >:) ing at him #if Loki was literally any other character people wouldn't have done this #if you replace Loki with any female character the Grandmaster's behaviour instantly becomes ''worse'' #and keep in mind that no one shipped Valkyrie and the Grandmaster despite her being heavily implied to have been in previous relationships #she's been there for MILLENNIA and there's the cheek pat and Grandmaster saying he likes her and she's his favourite or whatever #not to mention she knows which ships are for orgies and stuff??? #WHO of the two of them is more likely to have been involved with him??? #of what we've seen Loki barely even drinks (which is completely in character for him! good for him!) #Loki STOLE the codes for the Grandmasters ships while VALKYRIE knew what the ship was for and HOW TO FLY THE THING #seriously #the only way Grandmaster and Loki was working out was if it was abusive #I see the interpretation that the GM was TRYING to get in his pants and Loki wasn't letting him as way more canon compliant #either that or the GM is just a touchy person who doesn't respect personal boundaries which is still really weird and low-key harassment #VALKYRIE was the one fully accustomed to Sakaarian culture with the deleted scene with tentacle food and whatnot #if we're really here to argue on who else is more likely to have slept with the Grandmaster can I suggest the HULK?? he was there longer too #everyone picks on Loki because he made his way to a powerful position and people think he's useless because marvel nerfs him constantly #of course people jump to ''oh he got there in only 2 weeks through dodgy means'' when they believe Thor's prison speech was true #the Grandmaster called thor SEXY are we just not going to mention THAT???? #the dude was flirting with E V E R Y O N E #why do people gotta pick on Loki when he's shown less than ZERO interest

[skimblyshanks]

You can't convince me Skimble and Pounce aren't the parent and child who maintain a super close relationship all the way through. Like regular unprompted check ins, mostly regular open communication, Pounce never turns down pictures with dad, and vice versa.

(Ramble abt how i see their relationship. Allusion to my Pounce pairings below, including munkupounce and platopounce and similar age gap ships, feel free to avoid if these kinds of ships male u uncomfortable)

Not to say skimble and Teazer aren't also close, they are, but just. Differently. And Teazer likes having a bit more personal space and distance on family outings, etc. She and skimble love each other, they still try to be mostly open books with each other, they're just not as obviously close as he is with Pounce

And that's cuz like. Pounce needs physical affection. He needs the constant reciprocation. Bc buddy has abandonment issues. And on the irrational part of his brain he thinks the reason skimble loves him is because he is cute and cuddly; that those are the sole draw instead of fun features. But also he doesn't fully consciously realize this, so he hasn't brought it up, and Skimble doesn't think there's anything wrong bc why would he? They have good communication as far as he knows, and Pounce feels comfortable enough to be super affectionate, so it's going well! It's good!

And that's where things tie into the skimble hates platometus/skimble is oblivious to the munkupounce happening before his eyes jokes, bc....well, Pounce and skimble do have mostly open communication. But also, Pounce thinks his only appeal to Skimble is being cute and innocent and cuddly. And that's not the case, but he thinks it is, so he tries to present that facade to Skimble. Which is easy bc being cute and cuddly are just in his nature, even as he grows up and gets less ""innocent"", he's still a Goofy, lovey, cuddly, tactile kinda dude. So he just makes sure to flip the switch to go from "Pounce who has partners and goes to different lengths with them" to "Pounce who is dad's baby" and downplay the fact that he isn't naive to the world of sex and romance and quite the contrary has explored it quite a bit

And that active curation of an innocent image. Makes things complicated when it comes to Skimble as his dad, and also makes poor poor Platometus a scapegoat for parental concerns. Because yeah, Pounce is his baby in that he's the youngest of skimble's kids, and he's actively trying to be considered his baby. But Teazer's his baby too, and Skimble is aware that Teazer isn't some sheltered, angellic being who's never so much as kissed someone else romantically. And that's fine.

Along with the fact that cats don't have human standards of sexual "morality", even if they did Skimble would not be a puritan. This dude gets in the middle of an orgy to make sure everything's cool and also to provide a surface/maybe even get in on it a little. He'd be a sex positive parent and I won't be told otherwise. But like I mentioned earlier, he trusts Pouncival to come to him about stuff, including sex and romance and such, so when he just. Doesn't. Skimble assumes they're just not his kid's cup of tea, either for now or forever; he'll operate under that assumption until he's told otherwise.

But he still worries. He worries about teazer and he worries abt Pounce. But they're different worries. They manifest differently. He knows Teazer is like. Active in these things so he worries for her but there's also a comfort in that she knows what she's doing most of the time, and even if they aren't talking abt every little thing, if something big happened she would confide in him areas somewhat.

But with Pounce, he doesn't know he's Active in that world. As far as he knows, as far as Pounce performs for him, the boy barely grasps sexual innuendo, and doesn't seem to know you can use them beyond crude humor. So, as far as he assumes, Pounce doesn't know when someone is making Overtures. He doesn't know when a friendly encounter is being escalated. So like. As Pounce is getting older, and as skimble is being given no sign whatsoever that Pounce is exploring these kinds of relationships, and is instead getting signs to the opposite, he starts getting v concerned abt his baby getting taken advantage of.

Plato-Admetus is, for all intents and Purposes, across most depictions, A Good Boy. A little simple, perhaps, but well meaning. He's also just the right age group to be old enough that he strikes Skimble's suspicion, and young enough that he can't figure out a way to delude himself. Skimble misses Tumblepounce/Jemival/etc., bc those are his childhood buddies! They're friends! Skimble misses Munkupounce/Bombapounce/etc., bc not only is denial one hell of a drug, but Skimble trusts them. And he trusts them to not manipulate his kid. He'd be suspicious of Tuggerpounce probably but also dismiss it because Tugger is just Like That. But PlatoPounce is just the right intersection. He's older than Pounce but younger than Munk, and Skimble can't get a perfect read on him, so the gentility and the quiet shyness are probably too good to be true.

Meanwhile platopounce in reality as a ship is largely A.innocent fun, and B.10000% instigated by Pounce. But Skimble doesn't know that, he doesn't even know that Pounce picks up the way Plato's demeanor shifts around him. So he's suspicious.

Then off to the side you have Munkupounce 3 steps away from needing to get a bedroom but once again. Denial is a hell of a drug.

And like, of course all this blows up eventually. Pounce has kept a whole facet of his life and relationships an active secret; he's LIED to his dad. A Lot. And however it gets found out (Teazer finally spilling the beans, on purpose or on accident, surprise babies, walking in on something unrationalizable; there are many possibilities) Skimble is. Not gonna be happy. Especially not with Munk, who he probably has to fight the urge to kill, but also not with Pounce, and that scares him and Pounce. Bc like. They haven't had this kind of friction before. Not to this level. He's gotten mad at Pounce, sure. He's punished him, sure. But this is different.

Not only did Skimble think they were closer than they wound up being, but like. How long has Pounce been keeping this secret from him? What kind of risks was he taking that Skimble could have at least informed him on beforehand? Why didn't he trust that he could come to Skimble; had he made some huge formative fuckup early in Pounces joining the family?

And Pounce, of course, is horrified, because now the jig is up, and one of the things that kept him cute is proven a lie. And skimbles upset at him. And is walking away from him and not talking to him and tensing up near him and swallowing back growls and he's gonna be kicked out any day now isn't he.

But like. He isn't, of course. After a day or two Skimble's ready to sit with him and talk with him and slowly they get p close to identifying the motivation for Pounce to hide this stuff. And I mean like. There's not too much they can do except move forward. Skimble makes sure to affirm that Pounce is his kid no matter what goes on. He asks to at least be the slightest bit in the loop abt Pounce's activities, just so he can make sure everything's safe.

And like he doesn't stop worrying. And some of his trust in Pounce has chipped off, but also it's kind of like. Long overdue for him to have some suspicion? You know?

But the main thing is that he doesn't stop affirming Pounces place; his care for Pounce as his kid. Their relationship recovers v well; they're still taking pics together and checking in unprompted, it just needed an adjustment to factor in All of Pounce, not just the cute parts.

Anyway idk I've mentioned some of these hcs before but clearly I wanted to ramble abt them today. Hopefully soon I can do one for Teazers' relationships with both of them, too

#Skimbleshanks #pouncival #carbucketty #teazer shows up as does platometus but they arent focused on really #skimbledad

[idjitlili]

I can be the God of your Orgasm.

Loki x reader

(Not my image)

Summary:Some how ending up in Sakaar ,Valkyrie ends up taking you under her wing,no not her horse Aragorn,for a year ,until some Gods show up.

Word count:1768

Warnings:Language

A/n: Couldn’t end it , last time I touched this was October. Uhm, there’s a picture of Bowie, probably TMI here, but he was the first man , I ever you know over.Double aswell. I’m sorry.

You just a young woman in y/c ,heading to college your average routine ,but you never made it. Instead you had tripped over into a puddle ,but yet again you were decieved ,it was a portal. You hadn't/only left your country ,let alone been on another planet. You didn't think that was even possible;magic nor to be able to breathe on an different planet,well that was what you were told by the government. No you weren't a flat earther,thats bloody stupid. However you felt like the government hid a lot.

Michael Jacksons death,Heath Ledgers death,River Phoenix's death, Princess Diana's death , David Bowie, Obi-wan,it just seemed a little suspicous, not saying it was definitely them covering up the murders but...

Anyways so you fell into the puddle into a some rubbish ,literal rubbish. You had no idea what happened ,when Valkyrie found you she didn't either. God damn Benedict cumpatch stay in america with your fake american accent. Just stay away ,don't really want to be assassainated for being best buds with Sherlock Holmes and Dildo Gaggins.

Valkyrie had felt bad for such a young mortal being in an strange planet,she couldn't bare to bring you to Grandmaster ,to be apart of his orgies. he was indeed a tough warrior much like Dwalin the dwarf from the hobbit,who funfact is the longest living dwarf living up to 300 years,yes irrelvent.

Thus, you lived with her ,you managed to get a part time job as a cook,just so you didn't feel so bad about living with Valkyrie rent free. When I say part time cook ,I mean you just cooked for you and her,you didn't trust this planet. It was lucky when you fell in that puddle the stuff in your backpack didn't get wet,so you had some books to read,and such.

To be far being away from home stuck on an alien planet really did get boring ,you'd hate to admit it but sometimes you had to go to visit Hulk,because he was sorta normal. No he was not but he was okay ,like a destructive toddler but it was better than being alone. Other than that you really missed home ,you missed tv,you missed ice cream.

Pretty much everyday was boring. Well after almost a year of being here ,Valkyrie had brought a guest to your shared apartment thing. The God you had seen on the television a couple years ago. You had been sitting on the sofa reading at the time ,you jumped so hard when the door slammed open,you had looked up to see valkyrie shoving down a dark haired man in chains.

"Uhhh, are you allowed to kidnap people here?" you had questioned ,causing Valkyrie and the guy turn to you ,you had recognised him after a moment of trying to pin point his face. "I don't think that will hold him...h-he's-"

"Just stay away from him ,don't talk to him,don't look at him,hell don't even think about him,I will be back with Thor ,and then we can get you home, Y/n. So pack your things ." Soon as she had mentioned going home you had already started gathering your things,as Valkyrie had left after the God of Thunder. No you didn't go to the big battle compitions and Valkyrie certainly did not tell you she had found Thor ,but it didn't matter you were going home.

It didn't take you long to pack soon,you had your shoes on and everything sitting on the sofa ,twiddling your thumbs,feeling Loki's gaze on you. What's up with in love stories men staring , oh shut up you are just jealous because you can't even get a boyfriend ,stupid scribe.

"she said not to think about you...can you read minds?" you had questioned ,just really because that gaze he had on you made you feel proper ugly ,in which you were not. He had scoffed at you.

"I'm not a witch."

"I never said you were,you are a God ,must be better than having a hammer, it's like a normal hammer with steriods."

"Ah..so you have heard of me," He had smirked to himself ,you had just looked back at you hands before reaching for your bag grabbing your journal and ink,before just scribbing doodles on a clean page.Loki didn't speak after that not until you did again ten minutes later ,probably less time goes slow when the mood is a drag.

"the thing with new York, that was because of Thanos? People have controlled me by making me feel guilty so many times..OH manipulation ,you probably don't want to hear what I have to say,but I can't help it ,i've been stuck here a year the only person I got to speak to is drunk Valkyrie and hulk in which I feel like I am talking to a child. You know what I really wish I was watching Lord of the rings right-"

"You are from earth,how did you end up here?" He had grinned at you,cutting you off,isn't he like a mass murderer? Well he was tricked into doing it ,so more like accidental murderer ,why is he so handsome. Don't be stupid he is a God of course he is handsome.

"Uh..I fell into a puddle then I was here." The God had turned his head away to the floor ,scrunching his eyebrows together in confusion.

"I don't see how that's possible."

"Well it happene-" Yet you were cut off again,as the door slammed open,you quickly turned away back to your notebook,Thor ,Bruce and Valkyrie stood at the door.

You missed what happened first ,Loki having things thrown at him ,and such,you only looked up when he said something about spaceships,seeing Bruce. Your eyes glittered with excitement , Thor saw this. "Oh my! I can't believe it's-2 Thor had shook his head for you not say it. "Radiation scientist,Bruce Banner, damn,now I must say this is much more exciting than a hammer,which you don't have what's up with that? Hey Bruce how you feeling?Green? Darn, imagine being strongest Avenger!"

Thor had scoffed at you,"Does she always talk this much?"Bruce had made his way over to you smiling at you as you stood up. "It is so cool to meet you mister Banner."

"Thank you miss..." "Y/n" He had smiled at you again before turning to Thor ,"see strongest Avenger,yep that's me."

"well then ,let' hope we can get home,just first we are to go to Asgard."

***

"Valkyrie ,I'm going to stay with Dwayne Johnson,I have no fighting skills so it's better if come I after," you had gestured to Korg.

"Alright then, I'll see you if I don't die" And with that she left you with the aliens,smiling up to them.

"The revolution has begun."

***

"Hey, what's this?"

"Thank you." You had stood next to Korg as he had powered down the taser device on Loki's body,you had stood rocking on your balls of your feet in excitement to get home.

"Hey,man. We're about to jump on that ginormous spaceship. You wanna come?" Loki had jumped up,his hair a messy ,from the intense pain he had just suffered,from betraying his brother yet again.

"well you do seem like you're in desperate need of leadership." The smirk was interweaved into his voice, smooth as his greasy hair.

"Why, thank you."

"Hurry up! It has been too long since I've seen the dance seen in the james franco spiderman three!" You rushed forwards grabbing a hold of the mischief makers arm dragging him towards the ship. "Talkative and touchy," Loki just allowed you to drag him,with him supposively being evil,grinning.

***

"uhhh, what's the chances of as all dying horribly? Do you think if i pretend to be dead she wouldn't notice?" Loki was driving the space ship,whilst you sat in the seat next to him,all the alien people sat or stood behind. You really be riding shotgun on a spaceship,it was you or korg.

Loki did not answer you , yet just slightly smiled glancing to you briefly, not a good sign, you'd think with two Gods you'd be fine ,but clearly not. "Hey do you think if Thor had to fight I don't know- AHH" You weren't sure who you meant to say as you face planted into the spaceship's floor,as Loki's flying had stopped so suddenly causing a jolt. You had laughed to your lesson quietly,patheticly in honesty ,covering up how embarrassing that was.

You felt as if you were Mantis ,when Drax had informed her to watch out after she got hit in the face.  All you could think was there's like a bunch of aliens on this ship and it's guaranteed at least 3 have just seen you face plant.  "Okay , that makes me wish that I was on Thors spaceship right now." Your hair in your face, forearms pressed against the cold metal floor.

"What does he have that I don't?" His voice seeped with sarcasm, okay maybe not he was probably just annoyed that a midgardian was aboard and could not shut up.

"He probably can fly this thing better, well it's probably Bruce but that's even better , do you even know how many PHDs he has?"

"Honestly I do not know and do not care."

"Wow that's not very nice . He has..wait I dont -" The smirk on Loki's face was stamped deep, as he pulled you out of your concentration by doing so. "Shut up I bet you say to all your lovers, ‘If you givee a chance I can be the god of your orgasm’” Honestly you don’t know what made you think of that , something tells you it’s to do with a dude that reads a lot of smut named Blake. Actually the author doesn’t know if he does but..

“Thank you darling, for the new material.”

#marvel x you #marvel imagine #marvel x reader #marvel imagines #loki odinson x reader #loki layfeyson x reader #loki imagines #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki imagine #loki x reader #loki odinson #loki of asgard #loki #loki fluff

[buckyodinson]

Pedro boys (or who ever your most comfy writing for) reactions to trying to woo a girl not easily impressed/doesn't trust dudes easily??? I feel like a lot of ppl get this vibe sometimes or maybe its just me, love your blog btw keep being ah-mazing! 💖💖💖

Hi!!! Thank you for requesting, I had fun with these - sorry they took a while! :) 

Din would bring little things back to the ship for you while you looked after the Child. He would make mental notes of things you mentioned that you missed about home or things you craved, and if he ever saw them on his travels, he would buy them for you. Din is very awkward about dealing with his feelings, and it doesn’t help that you don’t seem interested at all. He carries on regardless even if you don’t feel the same back, living for the little smiles that light up your face when you see what he’s brought back. But he comes back from a bounty one day and you don’t hear him, and he’s about to climb the ladder to the cockpit, when he hears you up there with the Child, telling it that you think you love Din but you’re worried. His heart hammers underneath the beskar and before he knows it, he’s climbing the ladder to reach you, confessing his feelings once you turn around in shock at his sudden appearance. You admit your worries but that you can see what a softy he is under the armour, and he hugs you tightly, with the child pressed between your bodies. He speaks quiety through the modulator that he’ll prove to you he is worthy of your love (in your mind, though, you know he already is).

Whiskey is a charmer. But once he realised his flirting was getting him nowhere with you, he toned it down, and tried to just be friendly with you. You were much more receptive to that, and he enjoyed your little passing talks in the corridors of the distillery, or when you’d just sit and have lunch together. You didn’t really trust Whiskey at first, seeing the way he flirted with just about any woman he laid his eyes on. But you definitely opened up to him as time went on, and the pair of you grew closer. He’d remember the little things about you that you told him in passing, and he would try to bring them up as naturally as possible in future conversations to prove he really does listen intently to everything you say. After a while, you started to develop feelings for him, and you were glad you were initially resistant to his flirting, because it allowed you to really get to know him first and fall in love with him for himself, instead of the flirty persona he seems to have turned on all the time.

Javier was notorious around the DEA for his sexual exploits. The other agents constantly teased him about how he got his information, and whether he had to pay for it this time. When you learnt that he often frequented to local brothels and fucked the girls there for information, it put you off Javier (which was a shame, because he was so attractive). But you knew you wanted no part in joining the long list of women he’d taken to bed, so when Javier took an interest in you, you made an effort to seem like you had no interest in return. But you did start to notice that Javi wasn’t getting as much intel as usual, and the other guys would still ask and tease him about the various brothels in town, but he didn’t have his usual banter with them. Steve was pretty tired of watching Javi pine over you (which you were seemingly oblivious to), that he pulled you aside one day and told you Javi had feelings for you. You snorted rolled your eyes, “Nice one, Murphy.” you spoke as you tried to walk away, but he grabbed your wrist and told you to really pay attention to Javi. You narrowed your eyes at him, but did as he said, and noticed over the next few days that Javi was different. He seemed a little sadder, and he had no new information either. You confronted him one night after he left the office, and he confessed to you. You were still wary about his tendencies, but you agreed you were willing to give it a go.

Pope introduced you and Catfish and you really fell for him (and vice versa).You were a bit wary, knowing a little about his past. You knew they were both in the army, and that didn’t bother you, but Pope had told you about that fateful ‘mission’, and you saw him in a little different light after all that had transpired, but you knew they must have been desperate to do what they did. But Pope was still a close friend of yours and after you were introduced to Catfish, you hung out with the pair of them a fair bit, and you really enjoyed Frankie’s company, and you were slowly coming to terms with the fact that he wasn’t the man he used to be, and he was actually a real sweetheart. When Frankie noticed that you kinda shut off from him a bit when you all hung out, he assumed you didn’t like him and was only appeasing Pope. He quickly dipped into his self-loathing tendencies. One night, you had fallen asleep on Pope’s sofa, and you stirred and went to grab some water from the kitchen when you overheard Frankie telling Pope how he was stupid to think you could love someone like him, after everything he’d done. You knocked softly on the door, alerting them both to you presence, and Frankie’s face dropped, but you simply walked over and wrapped your arms around him.

Ezra and his partner came across you on the green moon, and offered for you to join them prospecting for a three-way split of everything you make. You were fairly new to the profession, and you leaped at the opportunity, hoping you’d make a little more money than you expected. However, you were wary of Ezra and his silent partner. After a tense stand-off with other prospectors, Ezra’s partner was killed, and it became just the two of you. He flirted with you a lot (at least you think it was flirting, you didn’t really understand half he stuff he said to you), but you still didn’t trust him very much, wondering if any day now he’d kill you and take everything for himself. You couldn’t deny the nagging feeling burrowing it’s way into your chest when he spoke, or so much as looked at you, however. The night he lost his arm, you did your best to help relieve the pain, and he was lying in his cot, pretty delirious after the medication you had given him. He stared at you while you were putting the gems from the day away. You asked him if he was okay, and he smiled in response, telling you that if he died because of his injury, he’d be glad you were the last thing he sees, before promptly passing out. You blushed and told yourself you would ask him about that when he woke up the next morning.

Oberyn seemed like quite the gentleman to you, but you weren’t so sure about his sexual exploits. You couldn’t deny the attraction you held towards him, but the many lovers he had, and the constant orgies that could be heard from all corners of the Sunspear did put you off slightly. He tried to charm you a lot, complimenting you any time he saw you around the castle, often asking if you’d like to join him and Ellaria. You would deny his offer and scurry off quickly. He will admit, he was confused by you, most people were gracious to accept the invite to his chamber. It made you all that more interesting, and he wanted you even more. He would never overstep your boundaries, though. He respected you too much. But he would have things sent to you - flowers, fruits, poems he’d written. Eventually, Ellaria came upon you in the gardens. She asked you whether you liked the prince or not, and you replied truthfully, telling her you certainly found him attractive, but that you were worried he would fuck you and then never want to see you again. Ellaria told you that Oberyn had not stopped speaking of you in weeks, wondering what he had done to offend you, and hoping he had not upset you in any way. You smiled at that, and she walked you to Oberyn’s chambers, where he enveloped you in an embrace.

Maxwell takes it like a challenge. Most of the women he hires in his company seem to throw themselves at his feet (most likely due to his money), but not you. You keep to yourself, and you do a pretty damn good job of your work. But if he ever offers to take you out for lunch or for a drink, you kindly decline his offer. He doesn’t give up though. He admires that you hold your place, and don’t just give in to him for the sake of it. Eventually though, he starts to just buy you food and bring it to you, sometimes sitting opposite your desk and eating with you. He spends more time getting to know you, and you open up a little more as time goes on. He figures out you probably didn’t trust him very much, so he tries to be a little vulnerable around you, telling you personal things and testing boundaries. Eventually, you agree to a drink with him, and you admit that you were worried about his advances. You figured it would be a bad idea to get involved with your boss, especially if it was just a sexual thing, for fear of the judgement from others, but when you realised he was genuinely trying to get to know you and get closer with you, you realised you quite liked Maxwell too. And it took off from there.

#headcanons #pedro pascal x reader #mandalorian x reader #din djarin x reader #agent whiskey x reader #jack daniels x reader #javier peña x reader #javier pena x reader #catfish morales x reader #catfish x reader #frankie morales x reader #francisco morales x reader #ezra prospect x reader #ezra x reader #oberyn martell x reader #oberyn x reader #max lord x reader #maxwell lord x reader

[veloxaraptor]

Long Time Coming

I’ve kept my mouth shut on this for a very long time. 

Last year I cut ties with an incredibly toxic player in the FFXIV community. Most of you know them as either Yosei Ittetsu or Vincent Arius.

Sometime around the end of September/beginning of October I ended a long running RP Ship with the player and quit his FC. This came after months of gas lighting, lying, manipulation, and just down right being used.

I’d spent some time getting to know them and their RL Partner so as to get the blessing to ship our characters together as Koa’s (the name the player goes by) partner didn’t feel comfortable with them shipping with anyone but themselves. 

I later learned that once I got the approval to ship with Koa, that they then went behind my back and their partner’s back and attempted to ship with other people under the guise of “I’ve been allowed to multi ship”. The timeline for that was around Mayish of 2019.

Throughout the tenure of our friendship and RP, Koa insisted OOCly that their partner was abusive and controlling. Something I have come to doubt. A partner feeling uncomfortable with their SO shipping/ERPing with other people isn’t all that uncommon or unreasonable. 

That being said, Koa would share screenshots with myself and others of fights they would have with their partner, carefully cropped to show certain parts of the fight that would cast their partner in the worst light. So naturally, we believed him.

So other friends and I agreed to help Koa ship/ERP in secret because we wanted to find a way to give them autonomy over themself. I regret this. Not only because it was incredibly disrespectful to a RL relationship, but because of the hurt it eventually caused other people later on.

This is going to get wordy, so please bear with me as I place the rest under a read me.

Koa and I agreed to a poly ship. One that would include myself, their RL partner’s character, and a third--my friend Noise. The agreement with the ship was that Tegah, Gan, and Noise would all be a “Table” poly setting and each could have extraneous partners if--and only if--we were comfortable with it OOC and our characters were comfortable with it IC. Meaning, there needed to be communication. This agreement extended only to the three as Koa stressed that they were only shipping with their RL partner to keep OOC peace and because they felt obligated to.

Very quickly things became very odd. I say that because often times Koa would wait until I needed to go to bed, and/or their RL partner would be at work (they worked nights) to initiate ship or ERP related RP. And if I was around for any of that RP, I was always shoved to the side and made to feel more like an accessory than an actual RP partner.

I tried several times to address this with Koa only to be gaslit and told that he was the one always feeling left out because he had to work around the confines of his “Abusive” RL partner and because Gan and Noise had a more in-depth story driven background with one another and knew each other better than Yosei and Noise knew each other.

My complaints would be invalidated and I’d always end up trying to help Koa find ways to solve their issues. Only for the circle to repeat itself.

Twice my character Gan found external partners. Both times I made sure going forward that both Koa and Noise were okay with it. And I was given their blessings. Both times, Koa attempted to insert their character into the relationship and sleep with the partner. The first one was successful. The second time not so much.

As time progressed, it became more and more clear that Koa’s main focus was drawing attention to themself and ERP. Mostly the latter if I’m being honest. Every time I turned around, I was learning of a new character that Yosei was gunning for and trying to sleep with. And it was always played off as a joke until it actually happened.

At some point one of the infatuations turned into another possible ship partner for the group. This is where Batu, one of my dearest friends comes in to the story. Koa had been selling Batu to Noise and I under the understanding that Batu was happy to simply be a fling/fuck buddy for the group. Meanwhile, he was selling to Batu the story that the group was looking for a 4th member. All the while neglecting to explain the truth to Batu as to how the ship worked despite him asking IC and OOC.

One very awkward night of RP where Gan brought over her side partner and Koa made many pointed comments about how we should all have an Orgy. (Which their RL partner asked about and Koa flat out lied to them). Batu learned how the ship worked on and IC and OOC level and had revealed that he’d been lied to the entire time. Or at the very least, misled.

So Batu decided to leave the group on an IC basis. Naturally, feelings were hurt OOC. And very much so IC as Gan and Batu had begun to fall for one another, and Noise and Batu were starting to grow close.

During this period of time, Batu ICly went to the Steppes to deal with the loss. Tegah/Yosei’s solution was to “fuck away the sad”. Because... yeah. 

At this time an FC member had their character go check on Batu and inform him of some RP stuff that had left Gan unwell. Batu returned and relationships were able to be repaired between Batu, Gan, and Noise. Batu expressed OOC that there was no desire to attempt with Koa again as he’d left feeling very used IC and OOC.

Naturally the characters did run into one another and it ended in conflict at which point Koa decided to metagame. He chose that moment to decide that it was his character that sent our FC member after Batu. There’d been no discussion over the course of the two weeks that all this had happened. Koa had just decided on the spot, something that was verified by the FC member.

When called out, Koa lied about meta-gaming. We even offered up logs to which he still lied and denied, saying they’d been talking about it for a while. Our FC member firmly refutes this and gave us logs to support. 

At that point, after months of being pushed to the side for other RP’s, gaslit regarding my issues, lied to, etc, I decided to end my RP partnership with Koa. I offered to stay around for the FC as I was the one running events and pushing for things to happen. But the day after that decision, Koa decided that we’d been leading the FC in the wrong direction (Despite being the one to tell us to go in that RP route) and that he wasn’t happy with how things were going.

Admittedly, I took this as a stab at me. Because I was the one running events, the one trying to keep things active for our FC members, and had suggested stepping back from Suisei Ramen the first time as there would be no way to balance it, FC RP, and personal RP all at once. It was then that I closed the book on all ties with Koa. I wanted nothing to do with them IC or OOC. He was immediately blocked from all my social media accounts and all websites I’d hosted on behalf of him and his FC were handed over.

This is where things become most important. Months after the fact, Koa openly admitted in a google doc he was spreading around in an attempt to defame me, that he’d been stalking my accounts either personally or through mutuals looking for anything he could use against me. 

I--in my naivety--had kept my mouth shut for the most part in the hopes that we could end things amicably and just move on. Almost a year later and I’m making this post because I’m still being harassed by Koa.

Since October of 2019, Koa has attempted to stir the pot time and again. Trying to oust me from RP communities. defame me, accuse me of plagiarism. (Most of this was while knowing I was heavily pregnant IRL and under a lot of stress) As recently as July 5, 2020, this person has been trying to cause issues. On the date mentioned, he attempted to insert himself into RP with Noise and I. Both of us have expressly stated we want nothing to do with him and want him to leave us alone and knowing that, still tried to put himself in our small group of RP.

Since leaving Koa, a lot of things have come to light. First and foremost, he was badmouthing me to my closest friends. Insisting I had an OOC affair going with a ship partner of mine. I’m married IRL. Koa knew this. And knowing this, attempted to spread that lie to push people away from me. Specifically, my friend Batu who was the one he told this to.

He blamed Batu’s IC/OOC departure on me, because I was uncomfortable with a concept he was trying to push for the second time. The concept being to have his character Yosei/Tegah gender swap to a woman and sleep with Gan’s partner. The first time it occurred was with a side relationship Gan had with another player. Koa wanted to have their character gender swap, sleep with Gan’s partner without the character knowing and possibly get pregnant. When asked about my opinion, I expressed that I wasn’t all that thrilled with it and that Gan would be angry/jealous. To which he insisted I was wrong and that Gan would find it funny.

The second instance was because Batu had more interest in Gan than Tegah/Yosei. At which point Koa decided it would be fun to try and force a race between his character and Gan as to who would have our ship partner Noise’s children first, knowing that there was a plot point set up for when that would inevitably happen. Again he adamantly stated that Gan wouldn’t be upset and find it funny, and that if she didn’t want it to happen she should just get pregnant back to back with each partner’s children. (At this time she was supposed to be pregnant with Yosei/Tegah’s baby. A fact that I later retconned.)

Koa continually went behind mine and all our ship partners backs to ERP with other characters. Ship with other characters. Shit talk me, and other people. When he’d be denied ERP, he’d turn and try to convince people that the person in question was actually after HIM for ERP and not the other way around.

Many people have come forward to me with information regarding his behavior. Unfortunately I don’t have permission to share their stories as they’ve asked to be left out of any public call outs. 

All I can safely share are these logs here

Koa/Yosei/Tegah/Vincent Arius is nothing more than a toxic individual obsessed with ERP, Attention, and playing victim as much as possible. Almost a year later and he is still harassing me, blaming me when things go wrong, defaming, and causing me drama. I’ve had enough. If even ONE person finds comfort in knowing they aren’t the only one he’s caused problems for, then it’ll be worth it.

And as always, I’m more than happy to answer any questions regarding this post that people might have. I’d love to share more logs and screencaps, but I do respect people’s privacy and I still don’t want to shit on their RL relationship any more than revealing this stuff will do.

#call out #toxic person #I've held my tongue for far too long

[rawiswhore]

Various WWF Wrestlers x Fem Reader- “I Was Gettin’ Some Head”

I wonder what many WWF/E wrestlers, specifically the ones I type about, would think of these fanfics I type about them?

They'd probably be laughing their heads off or be absolutely shocked, some would think "typical"...

There's a LOT of slash fanfiction shipping Jeff and Matt Hardy together (there was also a lot of fanfics about that during the Attitude era) even though the Hardy Boyz are actual brothers, not to mention there's fanfics shipping wrestlers into homosexual relationships, so...

There's wrestlers that probably even did some of the stuff I type about!

Speaking of that, I'm probably the only person who writes fanfiction about Bart Gunn, a wrestler that was never really that popular and now works as an electrician.

________________________________________________________________

A few days before Shawn Michaels' birthday in 1998, you were standing in the locker room near your locker, whereas Triple H and some other wrestlers were standing quite a few inches behind you, standing next to one another.

Who were these other wrestlers? Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Billy Gunn, Val Venis and Bart Gunn.

Triple H was dressed in a tight black D Generation X t-shirt and jeans, looking like he does when he appears on "Monday Night Raw".

Shawn was dressed in a white short sleeved shirt and jeans, Billy and Bart were dressed in loose fitting T-shirts and basketball shorts, and Val had a towel wrapped around his genitals, looking like when he enters the ring on "Monday Night Raw".

Val's towel was tucked in to hold his towel from falling out.

You were unbeknownst to what was behind you.

"What does everybody want?" Triple H shouted.

What Triple H exclaimed made you turn your head and look at what's behind you, you can easily recognize Triple H's voice.

"HEAD!" the other wrestlers standing next to Triple H replied, shouting this out, sounding like the audience when Al Snow asks his iconic, signature catchphrase.

Triple H shouted "HEAD!" in unison along with these men.

Shawn, Billy, Triple H and Val motioned at their crotch a la D Generation X, doing DX's "crotch chop" by pointing at their cum gutters, their hands forming a "v" shape and thrusting their crotches forward.

They didn't point at each other's  crotch, like Shawn pointing at Val's crotch and what have you.

Some other wrestlers in the locker room who weren't standing next to Triple H and standing by their lockers even shouted "HEAD!" along with Shawn, Billy, Val and Bart.

By the time the 1990's and even the 20th Century were coming to a close, after playing such silly, corny gimmicks in the WWF that were massive failures, a wrestler was finally going over (as they say in wrestling lingo), being now known as Al Snow, playing a schizophrenic madman that carried a decapitated mannequin head.

And what was his trademark mannequin head's name?

Head.

Can I make it any more obvious?

One of the things Al will always be remembered for is his catchphrase, where he shouts "What does everybody want?" to which the audience shouted back with "HEAD!" as Al showed off his severed mannequin head to the crowd.

Some of the audience would even hold Styrofoam mannequin heads and make them headbang in the crowd.

His catchphrase is meant to be a sexual innuendo, typical Attitude era.

Hearing Al's signature catchphrase and chants gave Triple H an idea, and he wanted to share this idea with other people, wrestlers mainly, that he knew you had sex with.

Previously, you shared with Triple H and Shawn Michaels an idea you had with them, while you sucked their cocks, they shouted their "suck it!" catchphrase as well as did their iconic signature crotch chops that go along with that taunt.

2 of the wrestlers Triple H shared this idea with were Billy Gunn and Val Venis, and they were thinking the same thing after hearing Al Snow's catchphrase.

The other person he shared this idea with was Bart Gunn, a wrestler you were becoming even more enamored with this year considering his hair is growing longer.

Bart figured Triple H had this idea, he's even thinking you have this idea as well.

There's someone Triple H wants to share this idea with as well as invite him to this rendezvous, and that's his former friend Shawn Michaels.

Sadly, Shawn wasn't in the WWF during most of 1998 due to a back injury, however, he did return to the WWF near the end of the summer of that year, albeit by sitting at the commentary table.

When Triple H told Shawn this idea over the phone, Shawn loved this idea, and luckily, in July, Shawn returned to the WWF sitting at the commentary table, not being able to wrestle.

You smiled from ear to ear and laughed hearing these wrestlers shout Al Snow's iconic catchphrase and question, and these wrestlers behind you saw it.

"What does everybody need?!" Triple H exclaimed and shouted again.

"HEAD!" these wrestlers standing next to Trips replied with, shouting it.

You walked up to these wrestlers behind you.

"I figured you guys would shout something like that to me, even I got an idea similar to what you're doing before this" you stated as you walked up to them, raising your voice so they can hear you "Is this a booty call? Do you white boys know what that word even means?"

You pointed your index finger to these wrestlers standing behind you, waving your finger back and forth across to these wrestlers shouting Al Snow's catchphrase at you.

"Doesn't 'booty call' mean a sexual invitation?" Triple H asked.

"Oh, you didn't know?" you asked, trying to say that like the New Age Outlaw's iconic catchphrase.

"Yo' ass betta caaaaaaaaaall some-bod-aaaaaaaaaaaaaay!" Billy retorted.

This resulted in the wrestlers standing in front of you laughing and smiling from ear to ear, even you couldn't help but laugh and smile with them.

"But yes, 'booty call' means sexual invitation" you explained when they stopped laughing.

"Why d'ya think we're shouting this at you?" Triple H asked.

They could've shouted this at other WWF women in the company, but they'd be saying that's sexual harassment.

You're the slut of the WWF, you're even sluttier than Sunny.

Sunny has left the WWF in the summer of 1998 because she doesn't want to play second fiddle to you and Sable.

Speaking of Sable, she might be an attractive woman with huge breasts, but she's married and has a daughter, and next year, she left the WWF and even sued the company due to sexual harassment and being forced to dress provocatively.

Jacqueline has joined the WWF this year, and she too is a beautiful woman with huge tits, but she isn't really sexually promiscuous.

Not to mention, considering she's an African American woman and DX had recently cut a promo in blackface (if you knew history, you'd know why black face is considered terrible) as well as once spray painted racist cartoons and messages on an all black wrestling faction's locker room, she definitely wants nothing to do with Triple H, Shawn and Billy.

Debra and Terri Runnels are married, and Chyna gets so much insults for the fact that she's an overtly muscular and even manly looking woman.

Luna Vachon isn't exactly Trish Stratus in the looks department either.

Even though Sable is an occasionally attractive woman, she looked so much older than her age, and if that's not bad enough, she had a really nasty personality backstage, always bragging she was the sole reason the WWF was suddenly blowing up in popularity in the late 90's, never mind Stone Cold, the Rock, or others.

Debra and even Terri Runnels were that same way, not that they're women with egos the size of Russia, but they looked older than their ages.

Plus, women like Ivory, Miss Kitty/The Kat, Trish Stratus, Lita, Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson weren't even in the WWF in 1998.

You've had many orgies with WWF wrestlers, so of course they're going to shout Al Snow's signature catchphrase at you.

"I'm not offended by your shouts at me" you confessed when you stood right in front of these wrestlers shouting that obscene quote at you. "Even I thought of asking you guys to shout Al Snow's signature question while I suck your cocks before you guys shouted it at me"

"Why didn't you ever say it to us?" Shawn asked.

"Because 4 men isn't 'everybody'" you confessed.

There were many men you wanted to do this with, but they weren't in the WWF and over in other wrestling companies.

Plus, you want these wrestlers to look a certain way when you suck their cocks, you want them to look hot and sexy.

You then sunk down to the floor until you crouched down on your knees.

"Y'want me to take my clothes off?" you asked these men standing in front of you, looking up at them.

They'd love to see your tits and cum on your breasts, so...maybe.

They nodded their heads.

"We don't want that shirt you're wearing to get any stains on it" Shawn admitted "Ifyknowwhatimean"

These wrestlers standing with Shawn laughed and chuckled at that, even you couldn't help but chuckle at what Shawn said.

You grabbed your shirt you were wearing and lifted it off of your torso and over your head, placing your top next to you on the floor.

You wore no bra under your top, showing off your bare tits.

Their eyes were growing wild seeing your naked breasts, grinning naughtily at your tits.

They could nearly make some wolf whistles at you like those rednecks in the audience who leer at sexy women in the WWF like Sable, Sunny and you.

One of your hands moved to the front of Triple H's fly area of his jeans, where you pulled the zipper down of his jeans, one of his hands popping the button out of the hole of his jeans.

He pulled his jeans and his boxers underneath down until his genitals were exposed to you, his erection pointing in front of your face.

The other wrestlers standing next to Triple H were following suit, pulling the zippers of their jeans down and unbuttoning their jeans or pulling their basketball shorts down, pulling their bottoms down until their erections were sticking out at you.

Val pulled his towel off, only to show that he wasn't wearing anything under that towel.

You could see their cocks all in front of you, your eyes were growing wild seeing these erections pointing at you.

Al Snow's signature decapitated mannequin head he carries around also has the words "Help Me" scrawled on its forehead.

Wonder if they could write "Help Me" on your forehead in lipstick or eyeliner or even with a marker?

Should you suggest this?

Hmmmm...

"You've got such perfect cock sucking lips" Triple H purred, his thumb running across your lips. "Perfect to be wrapped around me and the boys' dicks"

The other men standing with Triple H agreed with him, nodding their heads and smiling.

"No wonder she's in DX!" Billy stated. "We say 'suck it' and she's got those cocksucking lips!"

Triple H and the other wrestlers laughed and chuckled at that.

Triple H could nearly shout "let's get ready to suck iiiiiit!" like how he shouts on "Monday Night Raw" with DX in the ring, so could Shawn Michaels, Billy Gunn and even Val Venis, but would that be too corny and silly, even unsexy?

Speaking of suck it, Triple H lifted his hands and made his hands form a "v" shaped chopping motion at his "cum gutters" as they're called.

"Now suck it!!!" Triple H exclaimed, his hands making a chopping motion at his cum gutters when he shouted "suck it!".

He didn't just crotch chop at you, but also pushed his crotch forwards towards your face.

Billy, Shawn and Val saw and heard what Triple H shouted, smiling and chuckling at him.

You leaned your face into Triple H's genitals, until his cock had entered your mouth, your lips wrapped around his shaft, and proceeded to start sucking his penis.

Your hands were trying not to touch the floor, because you might want to wrap your fingers around these men's cocks and if you touched the dirty floor, you'll get your dirty fingers on their cocks, you might even taste their dicks that have been touched by the dirty floor if you sucked their penises and that would taste nasty.

One of your fingers wrapped around Shawn's shaft, whereas the other fingers wrapped around the bottom of Triple H's cock.

You wish you could have a huge mouth so you could fit so many cocks inside your mouth at the same time.

"What does everybody want?!" Triple H shouted.

"HEAD!" these other wrestlers standing next to him answered.

"What does everybody need?!" Triple H shouted and asked.

"HEAD!" the wrestlers with him replied with again, shouting it.

"What does every love?!" Triple H shouted.

"HEAD!!" Shawn, Val, Billy and even Bart exclaimed.

Triple H even shouted "head" in unison with these other wrestlers.

Some wrestlers standing at their lockers far away not involved in this orgy even shouted out "HEAD!" along with these wrestlers.

Speaking of that, some other wrestlers who won't be getting a blowjob this afternoon saw you squatting on the floor while these wrestlers you thought were sexy were circled around you, their cocks pointing at you while you sucked Triple H's cock.

Some of them were shouting and roaring out "yyyyyyyyeaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!", others just kept calm and carried on, rolling their eyes and walking away.

One wrestler shouted "Get a room!".

Isn't the locker room still a room nonetheless?

Another wrestler not swarming around you shouted "suck it!" while pointing to his crotch a la D Generation X, but you didn't bother to look at him.

Wonder if Al Snow is gonna see this?

Since Triple H is shouting "what does everybody want?", to which these men retort "HEAD!", an oral sex reference, and the keyword is "everybody", you tried to widen your mouth by letting the side of your mouth spread wider, enough for someone else's cock to enter.

That someone else's cock was none other than Shawn Michaels.

You tried to pull Shawn's cock into your mouth, even if you already had a dick inside your mouth, where his cock managed to squeeze into your mouth despite there already being a penis inside your mouth.

Shawn was absolutely surprised, his eyes growing wide, and even the men standing with Shawn were surprised at you trying to put his cock in your mouth.

Well, Triple H did ask "what does everybody want?", only for the men standing with him to respond with "HEAD!", which is an oral sex slang term and double entendre if you're Al Snow.

Keyword: "everybody".

The sides of your mouth were hurting by having two cocks inside your mouth, but wonder if you could handle it?

You also wonder if you could try to fit Billy Gunn's cock in your mouth...

You managed to try to suck on 2 cocks inside your mouth, even if it was difficult and your mouth was hurting.

One side of your mouth stretched out to make room for another cock.

Your fingers unraveled off of Triple H's shaft and wrapped around the bottom of Billy's shaft, where you pulled his dick to your mouth and tried to fill the empty space inside your mouth with his cock.

Billy's eyes grew wild when he saw you try to fit his own penis inside your mouth, he nearly could jump backwards at you trying to put his cock in your mouth.

Even the other men standing next to Billy could jump back over you trying to put another penis in your mouth despite you having 2 cocks in your mouth.

Their eyes were getting bigger at you trying to put another cock in your mouth, taken by surprise.

Though, they shouldn't be surprised at you trying to put more than 2 dicks in your mouth.

It was a tight fit, your mouth could barely fit 3 penises in your mouth, let alone suck on them.

These sexy male wrestlers standing in front of you grinned at you, their mouths spreading these shiteating, ear-to-ear smiles at you.

Despite being shocked at trying to put 3 cocks inside your mouth, Triple H doesn't mind this.

Remember, he said "There's a lot of bi things I am, but lingual is not one of them!".

It was a little difficult trying to suck on 3 cocks in your mouth, trying to make your mouth go up and down their shafts in an attempt to suck their dicks, but you have a reason why you're doing it.

Meanwhile, some wrestlers in the locker room saw you trying to suck on 3 dicks inside your mouth, their eyes were growing wide in shock and their jaws dropping, their hands covering their mouths.

They even were getting other wrestlers in the locker room to take a look at this, they were completely shocked as well.

Some wrestlers were roaring in delight, shouting "yyyyyyeaaaaaaaaaaah!!!" like trashy rednecks, others didn't bother to look at this.

And, to top it all off, you had 3 members of D Generation X (or, at least one former member of DX)'s cocks inside your mouth.

Heh, gives new meaning to "suck it".

Some people in the locker room even were shouting "suck it!" and chopping at their crotches a la D Generation X.

Since Val Venis is known for playing a porn star in the WWF, he wrapped his fingers around his shaft and tried putting his cock into your mouth, the tip of his penis poking to your mouth, trying to slide it in between 2 other cocks.

Some of the other wrestlers saw Val trying to put his dick in your mouth, admiring his chutzpah and understanding precisely why you're doing this.

They smiled from ear to ear and chuckled at him.

"Why are you trying to put 3 cocks in your mouth?" Bart Gunn asked you, tapping at your shoulder so you can hear him. "Or even...4?"

Your eyes looked up at him and your mouth pulled up to the top of Triple H, Shawn and Billy's cocks until all 3 of their dicks escaped your mouth, their dicks now smothered in precum and your saliva.

"Well, he asked 'what does everybody want?'" you confessed, pointing at Triple H "to which they all replied with 'head' shouts"

"I didn't exactly mean it that way!" Triple H admitted, smiling and laughing.

"Would you be annoyed if I sucked on your cock for a while, only to suck on his immediately after?" you asked Triple H, pointing to Shawn when referring to "his". "Since you'd be so enjoying me sucking your dick only to be interrupted. You said that everybody wants head!"

Keyword: "everybody".

"Actually, yeah, I would be annoyed" Triple H admitted. "But that's why I'm telling you to 'suck it'!"

He lifted his hands and made them form a chopping motion at his cum gutters, doing DX's iconic "crotch chop", this crotch chop was forming a "v" shape at his cum gutters as they're called.

Shawn and Billy smiled and cackled from ear to ear hearing that, so did Val Venis for that matter.

"Now suck it again!" Triple H ordered, his hand making a chopping motion at one of his cum gutters.

You leaned your face into his genitals until his cock had entered your mouth, where you proceeded to suck his dick, your lips wrapped around his shaft.

Even though Triple H in July of 1998 is pretty hot, the hottest he's looked by far was at the beginning of 1998, like in January that year, or in March that year.

While this Triple H you don't have to imagine you're sucking his cock since you are currently sucking his dick, you're imagining you're giving Triple H at the beginning of 1998 a blowjob, that's the hottest he's ever looked.

As you sucked on Triple H's dick, these wrestlers swarming you with their penises pointing at your face stared down at you, Triple H included, smiling and grinning at you.

When you sucked on Triple H's cock, some precum was spilling out of the slit of his penis head, landing on your tongue, only for you to swallow that cum down.

One of the things you're contemplating of doing as you suck off Triple H is crank Shawn and Billy's (as well as Val and Bart's) shafts, masturbating them.

Triple H put his hands on top of your head, where his fingers sunk through your hair, and he pulled you into his genitals.

"Just take my big, juicy cock" Triple H purred, his voice low and husky "My filthy dirty cumslut"

Triple H dressed in his usual DX gear was playing his character he plays on "Monday Night Raw" even in the locker room when the cameras weren't filming him.

Though, Shawn Michaels, Billy Gunn and Val Venis were playing their characters on "Monday Night Raw" as well during this orgy.

Triple H could nearly say his classic, iconic sexual innuendo he says on "Monday Night Raw", even before you started giving him oral sex, but most of his sexual innuendo is related to putting his dick in your twat.

Plus, he almost could say "I don't think you could handle this huge cock", but you've sucked his cock before as well as these other men standing next to his dick.

Triple H eventually slid his fingers from out of your hair, where he made his hands form an "x" shape by crossing them at the wrists above his genitals, only to raise those hands up, still in an "x" shape and quickly drop them down.

"Suck it!!" he shouted, thrusting his crotch into your face.

Shawn chuckled a la Ted DeBiase Sr. and smiled from ear to ear, so did Val Venis and Billy Gunn.

What your eyes could see above your face was Triple H's hands forming an "x" shape while he did DX's iconic signature gesture.

He then separated his hands and motioned his hands to chop at his cum gutters, this time in a "v" shape.

"Suck it!!" he exclaimed again, pushing his crotch to your face again, but not enough to bump you down.

"Suck it!!" Shawn exclaimed, his hands chopping at his cum gutters in a "v" shape, like this:

 Your eyes darted to Shawn, you could easily recognize his voice and even tell it was Shawn who shouted that, only to find him crotch chopping like a muddafucka.

Your mouth slid up Triple H's shaft, only for your lips to shift and slide over to Shawn's cock, shifting and sliding to his penishead.

Before you could do this, you have to ask them something...

"Hey guys!" you shouted, pointing your index finger at these wrestlers about to get blowjobs, killing the mood and sounding serious. "Should I jerk your cocks off? Masturbate you guys while I'm giving head?"

They were thinking the same thing.

Why were you holding Shawn's dick but not jacking him off.

They all want to cum in your mouth, be it precum or official cum, but they want to jizz on your face and your tits.

"Though, I thought I was here to suck cock" you stated "Not just jerk you guys off!"

They laughed hearing that.

Besides, you might get cum in your eyes, and that hurts.

They shrugged their shoulders, suggesting doing whatever you want, though, they'd love to see your face and tits drenched in cum.

Maybe next time you could do that, though maybe when they officially cum, you could clean their cocks off with your mouth and tongue (that rhymed) while they shout Al Snow as well as DX's signature catchphrase and do DX's signature, iconic gesture.

Decisions, decisions...

You decided not to do it, considering they're here to get blowjobs, not handjobs, much to the dismay of these wrestlers standing in front of you.

Shawn was shouting "suck it!" over and over again like an overexcited child, his hands chopping away at his cum gutters (I feel so embarrassed typing "cum gutters", but what else am I supposed to call them?), forming a "v" shape with them.

Triple H was chuckling and smiling hearing Shawn exclaim that, Billy and Val were smiling and laughing at this too.

Bart, meanwhile, was keeping his usual straight face, not seeming all that enthusiastic.  

"What does everybody want?!" Shawn roared, a wide, ear-to-ear smile plastered across his face.

"HEAD!" the wrestlers swarming with their dicks at you retorted, having the same ear-to-ear grins on your face as Shawn.

Even some wrestlers in the locker room who weren't circling you and were busy taking a shower or whatever shouted "HEAD!".

Shawn was trying not to cackle and laugh.

"What does everybody need?!" Shawn quoted, saying it the way Al Snow says it (though all of these men are saying it like how Al shouts it.

"HEAD!" Triple H, Billy, Val and even Bart shouted, some of these men, in particular Val and Triple H, making their hands form "crotch chopping" motions at their cum gutters.

"And what does everybody love?" Shawn asked, saying it loudly.

"HEAD!" the wrestlers, both with their cocks out and others who aren't bothered to join this orgy, replied.

Because of Shawn and the rest of the crew being loud, obnoxious dipshits, some people are standing by and watching what's going on.

Others are entering the locker room over the commotion, they can hear all the shouting and roaring from another room, only to find you giving head to who you think are the sexiest men in the WWF, for now, anyway.

Some are rolling their eyes and not bothering with this, some are hitting their heads with the palms of their hands, doing the iconic "face palm", others are watching this, enjoying this and even masturbating to it.

Are you and these wrestlers going to be arrested for being way too loud as well as indecent exposure?

Shawn's hands joined each other, crossing each other at the wrists, making an "x" shape.

His hands were above his genitals and raised those hands up, the hands still in an "x" shape when he raised them, only to quickly drop those hands down, still in an "x" shape.

"Suck it!!" he proclaimed, thrusting his crotch into your face.

He cackled like Ted DeBiase Sr. or after he shouted "I was up...all...night!" while he crotch chopped behind a podium, during that notorious moment where D Generation X had a presidential-like announcement and they promised not to use R-rated curse words.

His laughter was contagious, Billy, Triple H and Val laughing as well, having wide ear-to-ear smiles spread across their faces.

Shawn's hands separated, only now for his hands to do the "V" shaped crotch chop and for his hands to point at his cum gutters.

"Suck it!!!" he shouted again as he did that gesture, and you sucked it.

"Suck it!!!" Billy interrupted, his hands pointing to his crotch by making his hands form a "v" shaped crotch chop, pushing his crotch forward when he shouted that phrase.

When you've sucked his cock and swallowed his precum, as well as heard him shout Al Snow's catchphrase, it's time to move to the next man to get a blowjob, that next man is Billy Gunn.

Your head rose up from Shawn's cock and shifted over to Billy's dick sliding your lips across from the tip of Shawn's penis to Billy's penis head, only for your mouth to engulf Billy's penis head as well as the rest of his shaft.

You proceeded to start to suck Billy's cock, and while you gave him head, you imagined you were sucking Billy at the end of 1997, when he had those bows tied in his hair, and even sometimes imagined you were sucking him during his RockaBilly days in April of '97.

His hair is growing a little bit longer as 1998 progresses on, but the hottest Billy has ever looked by far was at the end of 1997.

Billy was smiling from ear to ear at you sucking his cock, his head and eyes looking down at you sucking him off.

"What does everybody want?!" Billy asked loudly.

The other wrestlers as well as some of the other locker room responded back by shouting "HEAD!".

He was asking what Al Snow asks in his entrance theme, only for the same response, that response being "HEAD!".

Speaking of Al Snow, when you were giving oral sex to Billy, some wrestler walked up to you and brought Al Snow along with him.

Thank goodness you're looking at these men swarming around you, otherwise a wrestler you're not attracted might approach you and want to suck his cock, you don' t want that.

"Heard the boys shouting Al Snow's catchphrase" this wrestler said "I'm surprised you're not giving him head!"

He pointed to Al Snow with his index finger.

Indeed, he's right about you're giving blowjobs while quoting his iconic signature catchphrase, but not involving the man who shouted that catchphrase?

Al used to be cute back in 1996 when he played that corny Leif Cassidy gimmick (even though his hair looked pretty awful), he was even kinda cute when he played a ninja named Avatar.

He now has dirty blond hair with dark roots exposed at the top of his head and a sleazy handlebar moustache.

You're really not sure what to think of Al with the way he looks like now.

He isn't Paul Bearer levels of ugly, but he isn't as sexy as Shawn Michaels either.

You also don't really wanna hurt Al's feelings, but you're unsure whether or not to give him, well, head.

Maybe you can imagine you're sucking him off when he's Leif Cassidy or even played that ninja character.

He's kind of hot with this dirty long blond hair and even that handlebar moustache.

"Y'want to suck him off?" this wrestler asked, still pointing his index finger to Al.

You shrugged your shoulders, unsure if you want to give him head or not.

"You don't know?" this wrestler asked.

You nodded your head, still having a cock in your mouth.

"I'm honestly not all that sexy" Al Snow confessed "Most people wouldn't find me all that hot, that includes her"

Al pointed to you with his index finger, though you and Al used to fuck a few times, but that was when he was Leif Cassidy (before he grew facial hair).

"I used to fuck her before I grew facial hair" Al admitted to this wrestler, still pointing at you "That was 2 years ago"

Hmmm, maybe Al could shout his catchphrase while these wrestlers swarming you could answer Al's iconic, signature question.

Billy, meanwhile, was smiling from ear to ear (and he has a beautiful smile), and of course he had to do DX's iconic crotch chop, both variations of it by making his hands form an "x" shape and a "v" shape over his crotch as well as shout the iconic, obscene catchphrase that goes with that gesture.

As you sucked on his cock, precum was leaking from the slit of his penishead and onto your tongue, only for you to gulp and swallow it down.

When you were busy giving Billy Gunn head, Shawn, however, leaned his head close to Triple H's ear, where he confessed that he thought of writing "Help Me" on your forehead in lipstick or eyeliner or even a marker, much like that iconic mannequin head that Al Snow carries into the ring with him.

Triple H liked this idea, though, would you like it?

Triple H turned his head towards you and tapped you on your shoulder, which made you look up at him.

You pulled your face away from Billy's cock until his dick left your mouth.

"Would you like it if we wrote 'help me' on your forehead with lipstick or a marker or something?" he asked. "Like that mannequin head Al Snow carries to the ring"

"I was thinking of doing that as well" you confessed "Though, it seems  a little tacky, plus, the words 'help me' scrawled across my forehead would make it seem like I'm getting raped, and I'm not"

"Touché" Triple H replied, nodding his head.

"I'm not roleplaying a rape victim or a sex slave" you confessed "Maybe next time we could do this"

After you had sucked on Billy's cock until some precum leaked out of his dick and you felt like you swallowed enough of it, Val Venis shouted "suck it!" at you while his hands motioned at his crotch, his hands making chopping motions.

You shifted your head towards Val's genitals, where you obeyed his order, leaning your face into his crotch until his dick was in your mouth.

You're surprised Val Venis has never crotch chopped and shouted "suck it" on "Monday Night Raw", considering he plays a PORN STAR and he'd be taunting oral sex while pointing at his genitals.

Fun fact: apparently Val almost was a member of D Generation X.

Val was grinning at you when you shifted your face from Billy's genitals to his, though you would honestly rather not look at him.

While he isn't as hideous as most of the men over in ECW, he isn't that hot or sexy despite being a popular sex symbol in the WWF (with emphasis on "sex"), though Val is pretty hot.

He's probably the male sex symbol during the WWF's Attitude era, much like the Ravishing Rick Rude (who he ALWAYS gets comparisons to) during the 80's Golden era and Shawn Michaels during the New Generation era.

Of course, Val had to ask this simple question...

"What does everybody want?"

He didn't shout it, he said it smoothly like how he says it in the WWF with his rough, rugged, gravelly, raspy voice.

"HEAD!" the wrestlers standing next to him retorted, even some other people in the locker room shouted "head" along with them.

"What does everybody need?" he asked again.

"HEAD!" most of the locker room answered.

"And what does everybody love?" Val asked.

"Head!" the locker room shouted.

Some said "head" in a deadpan voice while rolling their eyes.

Val laughed a bit in his throaty, raspy voice after hearing that.

He was staring down at you while you sucked him off, and of course, he couldn't help but do DX's crotch chop twice while you fellated him, both variations of the crotch chop as well as shout "suck it" while he thrusted his crotch to your face.

Sometimes, he even quoted some of his signature sexual innuendo he says on "Monday Night Raw", which would lead to some of the men standing next to him laughing, even you giggled a bit while you sucked him off.

One wrestler who you have had sex with a few times as well as thought of doing it with occassionally is Bob Holly.

The same Bob Holly who played Spark E. Plugg, a wrestler whose gimmick is a racecar driver, who would be in the New Midnight Express with Bart Gunn and eventually cut his hair and bleach it blond.

Bob is kind of handsome, even when he died his hair blond when he was in the Midnight Express, and since you have banged him a few times, Bob walked up to these wrestlers circled around you getting oral sex, only for your eyes to see him.

He probably wants some head too.

While he is a little bit attractive, he's not that hot, he has one huge overbite.

Though, you could imagine you're sucking on someone more attractive than him while you're giving him head...

Speaking of that, even though Val is pretty hot, a few times as you've given him oral sex, you're imagining sucking off someone hotter than him, like Rob Van Dam, Jeff Hardy, or even a sexy movie star or rock star.

Since Bart is probably the last one and you've sucked some precum out of Val, you shifted your head over from Val's penis to Bart's, but before you could give some oral sex...

"So Bob" you said to him, pointing at Bob Holly. "You want some head too?"

"I've thought of it" he confessed "We've fucked a few times"

"I know" you admitted "But...I'm not as crazy for you like I am with Triple H and Shawn"

At least you're being honest.

He knows.

You've fucked Shawn and Triple H numerous times as well as the likes of Jeff Hardy and even Billy Gunn.

He barely got any sex from you.

"Maybe I could give you some head" you suggested, shrugging your shoulders. "Though, you could have a ringrat go and give you head"

You should've said that to Al Snow.

Bob knows you aren't that attracted to him, plus, he's nowhere near as lusted over as Shawn Michaels or even Val Venis are.

Bob walked away, but he does know what a massive whore you are.

His tagteam partner Bart, meanwhile, motioned a crotch chop at his crotch and shouted "suck it!" at you, sounding and looking enthusiastic.

You proceeded to start sucking on his dick while he stared at you.

Even though Bart always keeps a straight face on "Monday Night Raw", he used to smile and act like he as having a good time when he was in the Smoking Gunns tagteam with Billy Gunn.

While you sucked him off, of course he had to crotch chop at you twice while shouting "suck it" like the other men did.

Pretty soon, you took turns sucking on these wrestler's cocks while they stood in front of you and circled around you.

When you gave fellatio to them, sometimes your tongue licked up as well as around their shafts, licking up the precum that trickled down their erections.

Though, you're supposed to be sucking it, not licking it, though you're still giving head either way.

When you were busy sucking off these other wrestlers, Triple H exclaimed "My bazooka is locked, cocked and ready to unload!", complete with one of his hands making a chopping motion at his cum gutters, to which you would eventually suck on his cock, as well as sometimes quoted some of the sexual innuendo he used to say at the female audience on “Monday Night Raw” during his early DX days.

You also sometimes used the tip of their penises like a lipstick, rubbing their penisheads across your lips.

Strange, but oddly sexy.

You basically sucked their cocks until they officially came, not just having precum enter your mouth.

Wonder if Triple H and most of the WWF roster watched ECW in 1997 and 1998?

I know some WWF wrestlers got their starts in ECW; Mick Foley, the Dudley Boyz and Stone Cold are examples, and ECW crossed over in the WWF in 1997, but I wonder if Triple H and some of the WWF roster watched ECW in 1997 and 1998?

Why?

Because Al Snow debuted the character he'll always be remembered for, a schizophrenic who carried a severed mannequin head, in ECW during those years, and he was a massive favorite in that company, people in the audience holding mannequin heads.

Maybe you could've given oral sex to Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Billy Gunn, Jeff Hardy and maybe a few others in late 1997/early 1998 while they shout Al's iconic, signature catchphrase, before Al joined the WWF with the gimmick he'll always be remembered for.

Epilogue: a few months later as well as into the next year, you actually had a few orgies with Triple H, Shawn, Billy, Val, Bart and some hot wrestlers who joined the WWF like Jeff Hardy, Christian and Test, where they shouted Al Snow's catchphrase while you sucked their cocks.

When Al Snow and his mannequin head's popularity were increasing, you would walk to the ring in the WWF, some men in the audience would hold signs that said things like "I want head from y/n!" and "Everybody needs head from y/n!", as well as chant "We want head!" at you.

They also held signs like "Y/n, I'll let you SUCK IT!" and they'd crotch chop at you, shouting at you to "suck it", though men in the WWF were carrying and signs like that and shouting DX's catchphrase while doing their signature gesture at you even before Al Snow was in the WWF.

Just imagine if these horny men and teenage boys who write those kinds of signs saw what you did backstage with these wrestlers, they'd be in lust.

So much lust, they'd want you to suck their cocks while they shouted Al Snow and DX's catchphrase and did DX's iconic body language.

They probably do have sexual fantasies of that, as well as sexual fantasies of Sable, Debra, Terri Runnels, Sunny, Miss Kitty/Stacy Carter, Trish Stratus, and other wrestling women and maybe even a few non-wrestling female celebrities give them blowjobs while these hornballs shout Al Snow and DX's signature catchphrases and do DX's signature gesture.

During Thanksgiving at the end of the year 2000, you actually gave a blowjob to Al Snow while he shouted his iconic catchphrase, and Jeff Hardy, Christian and Test were there too, you gave them blowjobs as well.

Al had shaved his facial hair by then and looked so much cuter and hotter.

Triple H had grown some facial hair and was with Stephanie McMahon, although at least Trips didn't look as bad as he did in 2005/2006 when he had that handlebar moustache.

Shawn was barely in the WWF in the year 2000, Billy Gunn cut his hair at the end of the year, so did Val Venis.

Plus, since it was at Thanksgiving time, and Debra asked on a Thanksgiving themed "Monday Night Raw" if anyone would like some of her pie while she held up a pumpkin pie, of course you let Al, Test, Jeff and Christian have a taste of your pie and your legs, thighs and breasts.

You're not talking about pumpkin pie or legs, thighs and breasts from a turkey.

________________________________________________________________

I actually had wanted to post this fanfic on Christian's birthday (yes, the Jay Beso Christian), though I changed my mind when I saw a clip of Val Venis getting "bloodbathed" by the Brood, which gave me an idea to type the fanfic I posted on Christian's birthday.

Plus, the fanfic I posted on Christian's birthday starred him, whereas the fanfic I originally wanted to post on his birthday would mention him just a few times.

I originally wanted to set this fanfic when Al Snow was so over, there were several people in the audience holding up mannequin heads, but I set this fanfic when Al Snow was an up-and-coming wrestler.

#triple h #shawn michaels #billy gunn #val venis #bart gunn #al snow #1998 #90s #wwf #attitude era #wwf attitude #fanfiction

[prehistoricalcats]

JELLICLE QUEEN APPRECIATION MONTH

June 3rd:

JEMIMA

What do you love about this queen?

TINY. ADORABLE. CHILD.

Also she displays an understanding, I might even call it wisdom, well beyond her years (at least about Griz anyway) while still being this sweet, naive, silly, playful little kitten and I just gahhhh she's so cool! I mentioned in Jelly's entry that complex personalities with seemingly contradictory traits are a favorite of mine, but it's not just that, it's also that she avoids falling into that trope of "mystic child = strange child" and instead is just a normal kid, who just happens to possibly be psychic/mystical

What is your favorite version of this queen?

98 is my default, but I gotta give a special mention to Oslo, where Jemima's character is called "Mjau" which is Norwegian (Bokmål) for "meow" and is pronounced exactly "meow" or I guess you could spell it "myow" but still they literally named her "Meow" and I'm dead

(btw if anyone knows where I can find an Oslo recording I would be eternally grateful. I really want to see more of this version but I can't freaking find it!)

Who is your favorite actress that played this queen?

Veerle Casteleyn, hands down

What is your wlw ship with this queen?

I don't really ship her with anyone except like crushes and junior-school romance type stuff because she's so young. Of the kittens, I could see her maybe dating Electra, but I'm not sure if I want to count that because I've been debating whether I hc Lec as trans boy, enby, or cis, and if I ultimately decide Lec is trans than he would be a boy. As a "when she grows up" thing, idk maybe Victoria? But I see them as having a very foster sister like relationship so that might be awkward…

I have an (as of yet very undeveloped) OC that's close to Jem's age who often comes to the Jellicle's shows (they are performers in my hc), and Jemima notices her in the audience and starts crushing on her, and Lec and Pounce notice that "Jemima's fan" seems to be crushing back. But I haven't gone very far with this idea yet.

Your favorite moment of this queen in the musical?

Oof so much. Of course there's the Moonlight, Daylight, and Sunlight solos. If I had to pick one it would probably be Sunlight since she's not just trying to tell the Jellicles about compassion anymore, she's reaching out directly to Grizabella when she's finally no longer able to continue alone, giving her the support and encouragement she needs to stand up and keep going and it's beautiful.

Let's see, other great moments (at least from 98) include:

her adorable expressions in Tugger's song when he points at her and tickles her chin

reaching for Griz during Grizabella's rejection and singing to her, not realizing that Griz thinks she's mocking her like Jelly was

her reaction when Skimble's song starts

and omg watch her during the second half of the Jellicle Ball after the orgy. She's not the main focus for most of it but if you pay attention and watch for her omg it's like an onslaught of adorable 💙💙💙

Day 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16

#jemima #jellicle queen appreciation month #jellicle queen: Jemima #jelliclequeens2020

[olderthannetfic]

It’s International Fanworks Day and also the 30th and final post in this series. If you follow my tumblr, you know that my true fandom isn’t buddy cops or Highlander or any of those things. No, my true fandom is...

WANK

No matter which bitchy piece of fujo-course nonsense you’re looking at on tumblr, no matter which debate about WNGWJLEO or women in slash or fanfiction vs. media you're reblogging, your grandma was having that fight in a zine somewhere in 1985 and at Escapade in the 90s.

Here’s a vid review from 2002:

"History Repeating," [...] was an Amanda vid. In-fucking-credible. Who knew? Who knew I could like Amanda? Who knew there were fresh HL clips I hadn't seen a thousand times before in HL vids? (Of course, as someone pointed out, she had her own spin-off.) This rocked--sharp, fast cutting and pretty, pretty shots, with a hot bisexy vibe running through it. And, you know, people like to say that there's all this self-hating misogyny in fans--you know, that women hate shows about women, hate women characters breaking up the OTP, etc. But when you see a femme-centric vid like this bring down the house, you really have to wonder. Is it misogyny, really, or is just that we usually see a bunch of crap representations of women in media and resist them?

So on the theme of There Is Nothing New Under The Sun, here is a selection of past Escapade panels on gender, representation, and problematicness:

1993 - Anti-Feminism in Slash Fandom (Or, how 'it was never this good with a woman' syndrome... where are the women, and why do we care?)

1995 - Why Lesbians Read Slash - (What's the attraction? Why do they care? Why do they write it?)

1996 - Character Bisexuality: Convenient fiction or character trait? (Is this a good compromise between "We're not gay, we just love each other" and "I was gay all along and just faking it with women"? Or is this too easy? Special mention for the stereotypical bisexual villian who's evil, sexy, and can come on to everyone.)

1996 - Female Heroes: Female Empowerment, or male power in women's bodies? (Give a woman a gun and make her really tough. Wow, cool! yes, or no? Are we celebrating women, or are we merely putting breasts on male action heroes? Heroines under discussion may include (but not be limited to) Sara Connor, Ripley, Vasquez, Thelma & Louise.)

1997 - Gender Astigmatism (The Gender Continuum: in what we read, in what we write, and what we are, there is always a connection with a point on the gender continuum. How do our definitions of "feminine" and "masculine" influence our creativity? Where do bisexual characters fit in? (besides there, you dirty-minded person!)

1998 - Xena: Does Girl-Slash Get Us Going? (Xena is the first show with a feminine couple to be really popular. What kind of slash fans are interested? Does gender orientation matter? Or do slash fans love slashy couples regardless of their gender? Can m/m fans be 'converted' to f/f fans?)

1998 - Bastards & the Women Who Love Them (When Methos says, "you live to serve me," any normal '90s woman says, "I don't think so!... or does she? A happy contemplation on the virtues of handsome thugs.)

1998 - Slash: a Continuation of Women's Writing, led by Constance Penley (In case you didn't know, in her recent book NASA/TREK (yes, the slash is intentional), she addressed slash as a continuum of women's writing, combining women's romance, and the male quest romance. Join her for a discussion of slash -- where it was, where it is, where it might be going.)

1998 - The Trauma of Slash Fans in Het Fandoms (Or, what to do when find women doing all that cool, tough-guy stuff you love.)

1999 - Male Slash Fans - Welcome Voice, or Infringement? (Slash is written by women for women — or is it? The Internet has attracted new fans, including the "male slash fan". Who is he? What does he think of what "we" do? Do we care?)

2002 - Femslash (General discussion on female/female slash fiction. If Buffy wanted something cold and hard between her legs, why didn't she just choose silicon?)

2003 - Slash: Feminist political act or really good porn?

2005 - Where have all the lesbians gone? (When some slash lists explicitly state m/m only, where do you go for femslash? Are there any hot femslash couples? Pimp your femslash fandom here, or bemoan the lack of strung female characters in the current conservative social climate.)

2007 - Femslash: The Other Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name (Femslash. It's a work that makes some of our hearts leap for joy and inspires complete and total disinterset—or even dislike and disdain—in others. Where can we find the good stuff? What makes it good? And what's up with the haters?)

2007 - SGA: The Women of Atlantis (What do we like about how the women of SGA are written and portrayed, and what makes us wince? What do we think about how their issues are being woven into the show's narrative?)

2008 - Gay is Not Slash (...even though slash is sometimes gay. The current argument about m/m romances by women as taking recognition *away* from male gay writers, depends on m/m writing being intended as gay lit. And slash, for one, isn't, even if there can be overlap. What overlaps? What doesn't? What examples do fans like?

2009 - Female Character Stories: Halfamoon, Full Moon or Just Moony (F/f slash, and other stories centered on female characters, are gaining visibility in fandom. Are there things fens will write about women that we won't about men? (Given MPreg, *are* there?) Should f/f be like m/m, or is it unavoidably different?)

2011 - My ***** is Not Ideologically Driven, But is it Homophobic (Slash fandom often sees itself as a mostly liberal community. IDIC, right? But recently there's been a slash backlash: it's anti-feminist, a 'symptom' of internalized misogyny. We're 'erasing' the women characters after all. Is slash homophobic? Does slash fandom appropriate gay culture? Is it awesome and ennobling as it makes us happy in our panties, or is all that self-hatred bubbling just beneath the surface of our porn?)

2012 - Natural Woman (We've lamented the lack of strong, believable female characters (who dress appropriately). But now we have them: Gemma Teller and Audrey Parker; Salt and Haywire; we've got Bechdel-passing women who look like they can throw a punch. Still, most of them are in the sci-fi or action genre, so are we really seeing progress? And what are we doing with them, as fans?)

2012 - Don't Call It a Bromance (It's Just Canon) (TPTB are increasingly aware of slash, and bromance is regular fare on TV canon these days. Does overt bromance make the fic and art hotter or just vanilla? Is there an anti-slash backlash in our shows? Is the emphasis on men's relationships making women disappear? Inquiring minds want to know. If you have answers, theories, or just want to squee, join in the fun!)

2014 - (The End of?) Ladybashing in Slashfic (Slashfic used to regularly feature bashing of female characters. Now, blatant bashing seems less fashionable. If you recognize this trend, let's talk! Were most ladybashing fics ones for juggernaut pairings in megafandoms, or were they everywhere? What's causing the change: more women in leading roles/ensemble casts, fic writers being more conscious to avoid bashing ladies even if they're not their favorites, more willingness to blame show writers' bad writing (instead of the character being just bad/evil/stupid) for bad female characters, or something else entirely?)

2015 - Fifty Shades of Fandom (Fifty Shades of Grey has become the representation of fan fiction in mainstream culture. It’s bad fan fiction, and it’s being used to ridicule women while making millions off women readers and viewers. Can we connect with these women: proto-fans who would love to read, and maybe write, great fan fiction if they found it? Can we use the FSoG phenomenon to expand our community? Does keeping our doors closed and our mouths shut perpetuate both monetization of our fan culture and misogynist scorn?)

2016 - Who Are We? (How do we define ourselves in this age of so many OT3s and team orgy pairings? Does m/m/f count as "slash"? Is slash-only space slipping away? (And would that be bad?) Do m/m and f/f belong together more than they do with m/f? Is "Media Fandom" a valid term any longer? Who are we if we start shipping het?)

2016 - Ladies Loving Ladies. (There would seem to be enough queer women in fandom to write/want more f/f. Do lesbians write f/f, m/m? Both? Do straight women? Or are we still missing the iconic female characters and relationships that create a great slash fandom? Did they figure out the answer to this question at TGIF/F and if so, what is it?)

2016 - By Us For Us (Fic, even kinky slash, is practically mainstream these days. The ebook revolution puts publishing within reach of almost anyone. Sundance hits have been filmed on iPhones. So why aren't fangirls making more media? Or is it happening right under our noses? Is this a place where our women's gift economy does our community a disservice? Discuss what's out there, what we'd like to see, and what's holding us back.)

2017 - LGBTQIA+ in Slash Fandom (Queer fans have always been here. In a subculture often defined as "for" straight women, what do we as fans have to say about non-straight, non-cis, and non-conventional sexuality and gender in fanfiction, in fandom, and in the larger culture?)

2018 - Confronting the Tensions Between Slash and Queer Representation (Slash fandom thrives on homoerotic subtext. Many queer fans are unwilling to settle for this quasi-representation. Part of every slash fandom seems loudly invested in their ship becoming canon. Some are queer fans who want actual textual representation in their favorite shows, and some are fans using queer politics to fight ship wars. Then the “slash is not activism” posts make the rounds. Is slash activism? Is advocating for slash ships in canon the same thing as advocating for queer representation?)

2018 - Representing Slashers (What does "representation" in the media mean to us? We know what more gay or POC representation means, but what about slash fandom, which is largely female and focused on bodies that don't resemble our own? Would better female characters in media better represent us? Or male characters written for a female audience? Come talk about the intersection of slash, personal identity, and media representation.)

2018 - Anonymity in Slash Fandom: Choosing to Hide (Why do the majority of slash fans hide their hobby? Is it fear of blackmail? Embarrassment? Fear of losing employment? How does this affect your happiness? How does this affect your security? What would an ideal world look like? Who would/have you told about your interest in slash? Who would you never, ever, tell?)

2019 - Fandom Post-Slash? (In an era of "ships" and #pairing #tags on Tumblr and AO3, has the "slash" label lost its meaning? Same-gender pairings are as popular as ever and fans still ID pairings with a virgule between the names, but how many fans still call m/m and f/f slash or femslash? How many fans identify as "slashers?" Het and slash were opposing binaries which few fans crossed. Are these barriers breaking down? What purpose has the term "slash" served? Has fandom moved

past it and, if so, what does that mean?)

#escapade 2020 #escapade con #fandom meta #fandom history

[amisssunbeam]

When (and Why) Hickey Fell in Love with Gibson

Well, it all started when “Hickey” was a child named EC, possibly Edgar or Edward, probably Edward, and the last name was something common, Clark or Carter or Cooke perhaps, as they are amongst the most familiar surnames in Great Britain today.  (I myself like Cooke as his last name.  See below.)

BTW, there was a time when I was in love with Herman Melville and tried to be very good so I could go to Heaven and escort Herman to all the constant Elvis concerts being held in the serene ethereal.  (This was about the same time I mentioned “Elvis Presley” to my husband who thought I said “Melville’s Presley”, which in turn started that heavenly dream I still live in. Elvis IS Billy Budd.)  Oh, what is my point?  Melville was born in 1819, and so I have decided EC was born in 1820, making him the perfect age to set sail on “Terror” in 1845 (and helps me dope out a time-line for EC’s life).

Was EC abandoned by his mother to a foundling’s home?  I’ve no doubt; I think he lived with her long enough to bond (she a hoe; father unknown), and then she left without a word when he was three and a half years old.   And did the drunk old men and women who ran the home try to give EC any solace?  Of course not.  Plus, meals were served on a very erratic basis, which is why Edward and his analogue David Young never got very big.  But EC thought of his mother often, sometimes with an enormous anger which caused him to befoul his bedding, sometimes with a longing that causes him to dissociate completely.

Now the drunk old men and women who run the home would prefer that little Eddy not be so needy, but they have a solution.  They know a rich man called (let’s say) Captain Autolycus Wilson, who likes very young boys. (Such a cliché.)  The drunk old etcs. ask Captain Wilson if he would like to purchase, uh, sponsor very small Eddy with his big blue eyes and reddish blond hair for a handsome fee. Captain Wilson is without a ward at the time, so he agrees to take care of Eddy, whom he calls Cookie.    The expected things proceed.  Except: Wilson is fond of Cookie, finding him clever and amusing and witty, and Cookie becomes very fond of Captain Wilson, fond to the point of adoration.  The Captain sees to his education with private tutors (the less said about what went on with the tutoring the better: too depressing for words).  But, despite the buggery and sodomy and orgies (many of which take place at the Captain’s private men’s club, The Sons of Phorcys, before interested audiences), Cookie becomes well educated, and something of a dandy too.  These are the gifts Captain Wilson gives him in exchange for his complete oppression and dehumanization.

Okay, we knew it was coming. Cookie begins to show signs of manliness, which means he no longer interests Captain Wheeler.  Captain Wheeler goes back to the foundling’s home and “adopts” a likely little carrot top who is nameless to us.  But, before he kicks Cookie out, Captain Wilson offers him a drink from one of his cut glass, uh, glasses.  Cookie goes completely catatonic.  

Afterwards, with a five-dollar gold piece and the clothes on his back, Cookie finds himself on the streets of Victorian London.

It gets worse and then it gets more worse.  He is Cookie no more.

So he runs with the dog pack.  He steals cheap jewelry and silverware. Steals nice clothes too, so he is always well turned out.  (Speaking of dogs, EC doesn’t like dogs.  Too many high-tone toffs, too many coppers have sicced huge slavering four-legged beasts on him.  Dogs, dogs are shit eaters.)

However, one useful trick he learns from the dog pack is to hang around taverns, especially those catering to sailors who have returned to shore.   He likes to chat with the sailors and hear their magical tales of life on the vast blue sea as he picks their pockets. These stories are why E.C. decides to dab Cornelius Hickey and put him in Regent’s Canal.  

“You’ll be gone how long, Cornelius?”

“At least a year!  And then I’ll be in Hawaii.  Oahu.”  His Irish accent is quite pronounced.

“Aren’t they cannibals who live there?”

“I think they prefer fish.” Both giggle.

“In other words, they’re Catholics!” EC says.

More giggles.   “See, here are my sailing papers!”

“Look, you already got paid!”

“Yes, a handsome sum. Speaking of which, let’s have another drink.”

“Just a small ale for me.”  EC takes a deep breath. “I bet your mam was glad to see your pay!”

“Me, I keep my money. I was a foundling, see.”  

“I lived in an orphan’s home too.”  (EC thinks to himself: I will always live in an orphan’s home.) “So when do you sail?”

 Then there’s a small slice of time and the ex-Cornelius Hickey lies bleeding at the bottom of Regents Canal.

(There’s a great fic which gives more details about this event on A3O: “Skinned Snakes” by @willowbilly)

 There’s not much variety on a ship; sailing and caulking is boring.  So no one should be surprised that the new Cornelius Hickey grouses.  

But one day, he shares a joke with Billy Gibson, and Billy laughs and says, “Now, that one’s worthy of Shakespeare.”

Hickey is pleased and intends to make Billy laugh again.

What was the joke? What is the joke in any office setting? Most office jokes are about those other people in The Office, who get to be more and more “other” as the jokes continue (think of Jim and Pam against Dwight), until Hickey and Billy have their own little two-man Eleusinian mystery cult going on.

They sit together at what serves as the library table and look at picture books together.  Perhaps it’s a book of engraved Biblical illustrations. Hickey points at one and whispers, “Look, Billy, there’s Lieutenant Irving walkin’ on water in his nightshirt!”

Billy gets a bad case of the giggles.  

Weekes is sitting nearby and hears them.  “What’s this, laughin’ at the Holy Scriptures?  Do you want the ship to sink?”  (Weekes is like the Dansker in “Billy Budd”, a quiet type who utters oracular remarks and tries to keep the superstitious young sailors under control.)

Hickey and Billy like to look at maps too, especially maps of the Pacific.  They move to a more secluded place to share their secret dreams. They decide they’ll jump ship in Oahu and live in the sun and sand forever.  

“Bugger the officers, Billy!” Hickey whispers.  “‘Orlop!’ I’ll feckin orlop ye, Irving!”

Hickey’s minor blasphemies appeal to Gibson, who must also feel underappreciated.  

(By the way, Melville was discharged in Maui in 1843 where he worked as, among other things, a pin-setter in a bowling alley before he returned to New York in 1844.)

But more than jokes happen. Billy sews a nice shirt for Hickey and knits him a warm red scarf.  “Look here,” Billy says to the other sailors sitting around.  “Now doesn’t Cornelius look smart!”  They all applaud, somewhat sarcastically, but Hickey is pleased.  

It appears that Hickey can sit in Billy’s little cabinette, I won’t say anytime he wants, but he CAN sit there.  Which is where the friendship goes to the next level.  Again, there isn’t a lot to do on an exploration.  I like to think of Hickey and Billy sitting right beside each other, CURTAIN OPEN, Hickey making his small jokes, perhaps about Mr. Diggle’s bad bread, and then he puts his hand on Billy’s knee.  When they hear someone coming, Hickey rapidly removes his hand.  With this negative evidence, Billy learns what Hickey meant by touching his knee.

The first kiss:  this is as tricky in fan fic as it is in real life. How do you know when to take that first step?  My experience has been that it is “The Man” who kisses first. (Don’t get mad!  Last century, when I was getting kissed, that rule of courtship was ratified in iron.)  

We can imagine that Hickey finds the simple warmth coming from Billy’s frame . . . nice.  Better still, he has no obligation to be (or do) anything to Billy.  He is free with Billy.  One night in May 1847 on Billy’s little cot, the bedtime bells ring (I don’t really know ships work), and Hickey says, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Billy,” and, because it’s been building inside him for several months, he leans over to the seated Billy and kisses his cheek.  Billy looks up in pleased surprise (giving Hickey the same look he gave him when Hickey put Young’s ring on his finger).  

I will now commence to use @starbuck’s excellent timeline to date the next steps of their relationship. “Go for Broke” is September 1846. Eight months later (plenty of time for a courtship) is “The Ladder” which I like to think of as the SEX-isode; by this time Billy and Hickey have become very experienced in their buggery.

So just let me make up some stuff.   In that sexy sexy month October 1846, they get to first base (they make out until their lips are chapped.)  Second base occurs in early November 1846 (running their hands over each other’s quivering but clothed skin).  Late November 1846 brings a firm third base (petting to orgasm: yup, that was a phrase much in use when Mamie Eisenhower and I were college roommates).  And on Christmas Day 1846, HOME RUN is achieved in costumes and crannies as drunken sailors overwhelm the air.  Hickey and Billy are in love!  They run up and down the deck with the snow falling on their pink boyish cheeks. Young, beautiful, in love, just the two in their icy mystery cult.

Uhoh, here comes June 1847 and “The Ladder”.   Now you know goddam well Irving isn’t going down to the orlop deck just to “find” the “caulker’s mate”.  He’s been smoldering over his suspicions for months (he and Hickey exchange stink-eyes all the time at Sunday services).  Finally, Irving gets a double-header: he achieves a major vicarious thrill AND a chance to save souls at the same time!!!!  Still, Hickey and Gibson are busted.

Stuff happens, Silna and Sir John and Tuunbaq, all that arga warga.   Not to mention, Gibson’s nervous conversation with Irving.  Which Hickey sees.  (Notice how I rigged the timeline to make sure Hickey got to see Gibson’s postern “all winter”, i.e. the winter of ’46-’47.)

Hickey is angry, but he never learned how to express anger towards someone he loves.  First he reverts to an infantile state; then it seems he finds a new love: The Captain.

The Captain offers him a drink.  A drink! Who would do that but a devious seducer! Hickey scours his brain.  What do you say to an Irishman?  “Here’s to us Micks!”  OH GOD OH GOD HOW COULD HE BE SO STUPID!  THAT HAS TO BE THE STUPIDEST THING ANYONE HAS EVER SAID TO ANYBODY!!!!! OH GOD! But Crozier’s face doesn’t freeze, doesn’t close down; it’s still open and pink.  EC will remember that.

Now, because I pledge allegiance to @rhavewellyarnbag and all that he stands for, I will also assert that Francis is a three-beer queer.  And if it weren’t for that Bible-beating bastard Irving barging in on them, who knows what would have happened next?

Hickey keeps trying to shine up to the Captain; he brings him a trophy, the guilty Eski girl.  But then there is that unfair cross-examination by Crozier and his big shiny toff buddy.  I have to say, I feel for Hickey in this scene.  He really thought he was being useful to Crozier, and Crozier is completely dismissive. How often have I misunderstood what other people wanted from me! They quarrel, Hickey loses his cool and ends up getting flogged.  Oh, sure, there’s worst things than bein’ lashed, but still . . .

Then there’s the tobacco. Just as you and I would, Hickey uses Occam’s useful razor and sees the tobacco as a love gift from . . . Billy. Billy! Billy the steward with access to supplies!  Billy must still love him!  

Sound the music cues, for here comes the bride!  In the next episode “First Shot a Winner”, Hickey marries Billy.  The reasons for this marriage are numerous (hey!  Just like real life!), but one reason is Billy’s ability to spy on those in command.  

Now, I won’t pretend that Hickey thinks this, but I DO!  Hickey will never never never forgive Crozier and determines to destroy him.  Then he HE Hickey will become King of the Expedition, just like Crozier is now, and Hickey will even have his own super-tall willowy delicate queen at his side.

It doesn’t work out that way, as we know, because nothing ever works out.  Still, Hickey loves Billy to the end, taking Billy’s head in his hands to say good-bye as lovers do.  The stabbing is a favor to the suffering man, and, if the murder turns out to have its useful aspects, well, so be it.  

That’s my story, and, being a Libra, I can be easily persuaded that I’m wrong about everything.

---------------------------------

dedicated to @rhavewellyarnbag, @blazingadam, and @wildcard47

[nellie-elizabeth]

Grey's Anatomy: Help Me Through the Night (16x10)

Heyyy we're back. And Alex Karev is gone. This episode isn't about that, but I'm deep in my feelings about it, so... be prepared for me to rant when it becomes relevant.

Cons:

So, guess what I'm going to complain about? Teddy and Owen got engaged. And I think I'm supposed to be charmed by that in some way, or think it's a cute resolution for them. But it's just so hollow. I don't feel a connection between them. I hate that they made Koracick an asshole for a good chunk of the season, just to distance us from that ship so we'd get on board with Owen. Nope. Still team Tom Koracick, if I'm being honest.

And the fact that Amelia's baby might be Owen's is straight-up one of the most annoying twists this show has ever, ever had. Please no. Just let Link and Amelia raise their baby. And Scout is such a cute name, because Link's name is Atticus... get it?

Who's the guy that Jackson and Owen were operating on? Koracick's protege? Did I forget a new character that's been introduced, or are we just now meeting him? I lost track completely of the existence of such a character.

(Also, I'm sad about Alex being gone... did I mention that?)

Pros:

Bailey's emotional arc was really the centerpiece of this episode. After the chaos of the injuries in the bar, Bailey focuses all of her energies on helping her injured interns. Everyone makes it through alive, but then she has a breakdown about her miscarriage. I really like that there were no major character deaths in this episode, because it meant that Bailey's grief got to take center stage, and wasn't pushed aside. Nobody performs grief like Chandra Wilson. She is the master of it on this show, and it gets to me every time. I liked how Richard was there for her, despite their falling out, and Meredith talked about how when she had a miscarriage, she'd never felt so lonely. Ben, meanwhile, is focusing on taking care of Miranda instead of processing his own grief. Hopefully we'll see him come to terms with it as well.

As I said, I'm so frustrated with the Owen/Teddy/Koracick/Amelia/Link situation. That would be a weird orgy. But you know what I mean - just the mess of Amelia's pregnancy, the love triangle, etc. etc. But I did like that Koracick's character got a bit of rehabilitation here, what with his being worried about his patient, and shaking hands with Owen and making peace, and the way the patient's grandmother talked about "Dr. Tommy" and how wonderful he is. Tom is wonderful, and I want the show to remember that!

The other potential love triangle setup is one I can get behind a little more. You've got DeLuca, who told Meredith to take some time to think, and then you've got sexy new pediatric doctor. Not much motion on this front, but I remain intrigued. And I like that DeLuca went to Maggie, to tell her the good news about one of her patients, but also to ask for advice about Meredith. He knows he messed up, and wants to fix it. (Hey, remember when Maggie and Andrew were a thing? This show is weird).

Jo un-kidnaps the baby she took, bringing it to the hospital like she was supposed to. I loved the scene with Meredith and Jo where they baby-talk about Meredith being a felon. Adorable. Their friendship was hard-won but so worth it. Jo was drawn to this little baby so much that it's looking like kids might be in her future for sure. She and Link have a sweet moment of bonding over falling in love with little ones, and Jo also meets Meredith's new love interest, whose name I don't know yet. I love Jo Karev a lot, and I'm really curious what her future on the show is going to be, without Alex around. I hope that they just play it like Alex is around but off-screen, working at a different hospital (maybe Richard and Owen come back, and Alex stays at the other place?) Because I want Jo to stick around, but it's too sad if she and Alex have to break up in order to manage that. We'll have to see, I suppose! I like following her journey of recovery and joy.

The best thing about this episode was the stuff with the interns, which honestly bodes well for the show's future, now that we're down to so few original cast members. I loved that we spent some time with Dr. Casey Parker, who is a veteran and who was triggered by the crash at the bar. He is struggling with it, but Teddy is there for him, lamenting the fact that this country doesn't give mental healthcare to the people who are traumatized in the armed forces. Then you've got Helm, who is loopy due to alcohol and pain meds, and is also the most injured of the bunch, coming close to dying but ultimately surviving. She confesses her love to Meredith, who thanks Helm and seems quietly amused.

But meanwhile, there's the added drama of Schmitt and Helm being on the outs due to Schmitt "betraying" Meredith and getting her fired. While loopy and drugged up, Helm says mean things about Schmitt, who then passes out in the operating room. Turns out, poor Levi has "broken heart syndrome" due to extreme stress and emotional upheaval. He ends up being okay as well, and after getting a cuddle from Nico, he is wheeled in to Helm's room, and the two make up. I think they are really sweet, and I'm touched by their reconciliation. I hope we get more screen-time for them. Also, get Helm a girlfriend, stat!

Obviously I'm still obsessed with Levi and Nico being all adorable and stuff. Nico calls out Levi's name and rushes to him when he falls down, and then we get that classic shot of Nico sleeping in a chair next to Levi's hospital bed, which I am all about, and then the cuddle, and then when the interns are all together in Helm's room, Levi and Nico are just so affectionate with each other, holding hands and staying close. This is adorable and I just want more and more of it, please and thanks.

I think that's it. This show always manages to survive big losses, but I am curious to see how things shake out without Alex. I'll miss him a lot.

8/10

#review #grey's anatomy #grey's anatomy review #greys anatomy #greys anatomy review #grey's #grey's abc #greys #greys abc

[phantasieandmirare]

Okay so this is going to be fun. I haven’t seen Cats yet and I’m torn between wanting to just for the Experience and not wanting to to preserve the love I have for the musical itself. But I know a lot about the musical and characters (and I’ll be sharing my/the fandom’s general headcanons with you) because I watched the 1998 TV film on repeat when I was younger. So here’s what happens in the musical (keeping in mind that I’ve only seen the 1998 movie and not the actual show but I know that the show is different) that y’all are missing.

If you didn’t know at this point, the entire musical is based on the book ‘Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats’ by T.S. Eliot which is a book of short cutesy poems. This was one of Andrew Lloyd Weber’s favorite book when he was younger and he wrote the entire musical as a composition exercise to see if he could write music with predetermined lyrics.

There are so many interviews of Andrew Lloyd Weber explaining what the musical is about in the 80s and it’s just as awkward as literally anyone trying to explain Cats right now. But he’s trying his best. Cut him some slack.

I am literally watching the 1998 movie on YouTube as I type this. It’s all available there. Please watch it if you need to purge the Cats movie from your brain and replace it with something watchable.

I used to have all of the names of the cats memorized. I’m not kidding. I could tell you who was singing what line in every song. I knew the background characters. I could look at a picture and tell you who everyone was in it with extreme accuracy. I had every song memorized. I knew everything. I am the Cats God.

Munkustrap is the narrator of the musical. He’s also the de facto leader/protector of the Jellicles when Old Deuteronomy isn’t there. He’s like the prime minister to Old Deuteronomy’s queen/king. From what I understand he does not have the same sway in the movie which sucks because he’s my favorite and I love him.

There are two cats in the musical who are psychic. They’re twins. Their names are Coricopat and Tantomile. I’m not making this up. I think this is only mentioned in the stage show itself but on the off chance that it’s not and I just happen to know this now you know too.

“There’s a man over there with a look of surprise. As much as to say ‘well now how about that’. Do I actually see with my own very eyes a man who has not heard of a Jellicle Cat? ‘What’s a Jellicle Cat? What’s a Jellicle Cat? What’s a Jellicle Cat?’” Please tell me this line is in the movie. I’m begging you. Because this is hilarious now that this is now every single person’s reaction to the very concept of Cats.

From all the reviews I’m guessing that The Naming of Cats is not in the movie or it’s not played the way it is on stage. Which is a shame because that would be another delightful moment that confuses and horrifies everyone who has no idea what Cats is. If they played The Naming of Cats the way that they do on stage that alone would have cleared the movie theater instantly. For about three minutes they tell you how cats are named. In complete sync. They get louder and move closer to the audience as they go on. It’s low key terrifying. I also had this memorized. It was one of my favorite songs in the musical.

Our boy Mr. Mistoffelees is not named Mr. Mistoffelees for most of the show. He’s called Quaxo. The consensus is that ‘Mr. Mistoffelees’ is a separate identity and/or personality. I swear I’m not making this up.

Victoria and Quaxo/Mistoffelees are brother and sister. That’s a general headcanon that either I came to or is a consensus in the fandom. Not making this up either. Bustopher Jones/James Corden is their father. This is all assumed based on their coloration. This is also where I mention that I used to know all the family dynamics in this musicals and who’s with who.

It’s also a general consensus that Victoria isn’t ‘new’ but has just reached the age where she can be involved in the Jellicle Ball. She has the very first dance solo in the musical and is the one to finally accept Grizabella but that’s the only importance she has for the entire musical. She doesn’t have any lines or her own song but is instantly recognizable in every picture ever.

Jennyanydots is introduced wearing a large fur coat/get-up that she can barely stand up in and then removes it to reveal a flapper dress later. I assume that’s what they were going for with the whole ‘Rebel Wilson takes off her skin’ issue. Her song/dance is tap-based. She’s the wine aunt of the group. She never eats the cockroaches. That’s never mentioned in the song. I don’t know why they did that.

Rum Tum Tugger is supposed to be based on Mick Jagger. I don’t know how well that translated into the movie but I hear they tried to redesign him into a more modern version on stage recently that did not go well at all because it was kinda racist. So let’s just stick with the Mick Jagger version cause it works better. All the girls in the group are obsessed with him/groupies. All the moms/queens are so over it. He and Quaxo/Mistoffelees have a love hate relationship. I used to read fanfiction and people ship the heck out of them. General consensus is that he and Bombalurina/Taylor Swift are a thing.

Grizabella’s entire deal is that she used to be a show cat who got dumped/a mangy stray who used to be beautiful but then got into too many fights/it’s vaguely implied that she was a cat prostitute. 

Elaine Paige originated the role of Grizabella and then reprised it for the 1998 movie and that is the only reason that I know who Elaine Paige is.

The entire plot of this musical is that Grizabella is touch-starved. 

Is Demeter mentioned in the movie? She’s also my favorite. Does she have a major role? Where’s my girl? Where is she? Anyway Demeter and Munkustrap are often shipped together too. 

Bustopher Jones is essentially the Godfather and is the 1% of the Jellicles. Everyone loves him. He’s like Tugger for the older ladies/queens because they all also adore him. Quaxo/Mistoffelees chases him and plays with his tail and stuff like that a lot in the stage show and generally has this really proud air around him/is center stage in the song during his song which adds to the headcanon that Bustopher Jones is his dad.

To clear it up, Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer are brother and sister, they are not together. They’re also twins. 

Old Deuteronomy shows up. The psychic twins say that he’s coming. As far as I know that’s the only indication we get ever that they’re psychic.

Tugger and Munkustrap are friends/frenemies. The headcanon is that Tugger wants to be the leader or just doesn’t like that Munkustrap tries to keep them all in line/doesn’t let Tugger do whatever he wants but besides that they’re buddies. 

I think it was also implied somewhere/I had the headcanon that Old Deuteronomy and Grizabella are brother and sister. I think. I also think I had the headcanon that he’s Quaxo/Mistoffelees and Victoria’s grandfather because they also hang around him a lot. Ken Page who you may recognize as the voice of Oogie Boogie in The Nightmare Before Christmas plays Deuteronomy and originated the role and casually mentions that he’s probably the father of most of the cats so there you go. 

They cut this from the movie and I understand why now but there’s a musical number about a battle between two tribes of dogs that they put on as a performance for Old Deuteronomy. Yes it’s musical inception. This is a big song for Munkustrap because he narrates and sings the entire thing. At one point Tugger plays bagpipes in it. I’m not kidding. Munkustrap spends the entire song being an exhausted stage manager trying to keep everything under control and it’s not going well and I feel that. 

There’s a cat superhero called the Rumpus Cat. Yep.

The Jellicle Ball begins proper. There’s a lot of flirting and dancing and acrobatics and generally wild stuff for a good ten minutes. Generally it’s framed as Old Deuteronomy deciding which one of them gets to enter the Heaviside Layer through dance. What is his criteria for who gets to die? They never tell us. 

Anyway Victoria performs the mating dance with a cat named Plato/Admetus (again, Victoria and Quaxo/Mistoffelees are never together and they are siblings thank you very much). The orgy is real folks. We don’t talk about it. I think I watched this scene once when I was little (also when I say little I mean like 12/13) and then never again because it’s extremely awkward to watch. I would just skip right over it as soon as the music started getting slow and move on to Memory. This right here is the first time that I’m watching it in literal years. It’s still as awkward as it was then. 

There’s a cat named Jemima/Sillabub (a lot of these cats have multiple names/their names are different between productions/regions if you haven’t picked up on that already). She’s basically what they made Victoria into in the movie and is important for the plot. I don’t know why they focused in on Victoria when Jemima/Sillabub is right there. 

Gus the Theater Cat sings his song and I also cry every single time because Gus is the sweetest cat in the entire musical and I love him and also the song is sad as heck especially if you think about how this is an older man playing this role and talking about how his acting days are past him. There’s another musical number about one of Gus’s most famous roles but they didn’t put that into the 1998 movie because of budget issues and not having enough space on the set to do it anyway. 

I do not remember this moment but for about ten seconds a specter of Gus as his most famous character comes out, walks around menacingly, and then leaves and I DON’T REMEMBER THAT AT ALL. Anyway Gus follows it around because it’s his memory of his younger self and the heartbreak on his face when it disappears and the fact that this character cries at the end of the song and doesn’t even finish it shatters my entire heart. Gus has six minutes and then he leaves and we never see him again and sometimes I think about Gus and cry. 

So after breaking your soul with Gus we jump directly into Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat who is also a delight and from what I hear people in the movie really liked him too. If you like nothing else about Cats you have to agree that Skimbles is wonderful. 

Macavity the Mystery Cat is my second favorite song in the entire musical. Bombalurina/Taylor Swift and Demeter both perform it together (I listened to Taylor Swift’s version after I finished watching this and I am so mad that they cut Demeter out of it entirely because Demeter makes this song and she’s another one of my favorites). It’s the female power ballad of the entire musical and their voices/belting is sick as heck and also I used to have the choreography memorized on top of everything else. It’s implied that Demeter and Macavity used to be a thing before she escaped him. There are layers to this. 

Macavity tries to sneak back in dressed up as Old Deuteronomy but because Demeter is his old flame she sees right through it. The cats all fight and then Macavity escapes and is never mentioned again. We can safely assume that he does this every year.

My absolute favorite song in the entire musical/the first one I ever heard is Magical Mr. Mistoffelees. Tugger introduces him and sings most of the song. Mistoffelees actually doesn’t sing for the entire thing, it’s all Tugger. Tugger keeps singing about how Mistoffelees has a signature move called the ‘conjuring turn’ which on stage is twenty-four consecutive fouettés en tournant and it’s impressive as heck. Mistoffelees is one of the most demanding dance roles in the entire musical. Here’s the thing though, they don’t have the conjuring turn in the 1998 movie, the way that the music is cut we can assume that they filmed it and then it got cut or they lost the footage or something so for a long time I never saw it and then I looked it up and it was awesome. Anyway this is my cat son and I love him. 

Onstage Grizabella ascends to the Heaviside Layer in one of two ways: either by a staircase that descends from the ceiling, or (again I’m not making this up) in a flying saucer. If you’re still confused about the plot of Cats take the fact that they ascend to cat heaven on a UFO and go forth knowing that the answer to ‘What is Cats?’ has a legitimate answer of ‘Aliens’.

So that’s Cats. Namely the version that I hoped we were getting and that we were robbed off in favor of God-awful CGI and a lot of uncomfortable horniness (or at least more than there normally is in the actual show) and Rebel Wilson tearing off her skin. 

#cats #cats the musical #cats 1998 #the only version of cats that matters #be quiet sarah #i don't know how to end this post #i took an entire day of my life to write this post please appreciate my efforts #anyway #ok goodnight

[go-diane-winchester]

Cockles vs J2 Tinhats

Someone tagged me in a post with a gif of Jensen smacking Misha in the crotchel region in last year's gag reel.  You know the one.  Apparently, it is supposed to be proof of Cockles.  The person who tagged me ships destiel and cockles.  She put a smiley face next to the tag, and she followed me, which might mean she is trying to be friends.  Not sure.  Well hello hun.  Thanks for tagging me.  I don't know what the purpose is.  Maybe you want me to see what you see.  Hunny, I know what cockles is.  I am familiar with tinhatting and I am fairly thick-skinned about it.  So unless you take the hatty stuff to the actors, I have problem with you...the cockles tinhats actually do tweet hatty things to the actors.  Hmm, not cool. 

This will be a good opportunity to examine both Cockles and J2 tinhat theories.  And why that clip is not proof of cockles for me. Just for fun. 

Jensen and Misha

As a lead, Jensen is contracted to be in every episode.  Misha, a guest star, is only in a few episodes per season.  This means that these two actors don't get to spend a massive amount of time with each other unless they are working.  Misha lives, to the best of my knowledge, in Bellingham.  Jensen used to live in California, but moved to Austin.  Jensen usually does only one panel per year with Misha.  Jibcon.  If it weren't for conventions, they would spend even less time with each other.  If you love some one and you are a lead, wont you ask for more panels with that person.  Yes, I know someone will that they don't do more than one panel because the evil bronlies will complain.  Hunny, if they cared about fans throwing a tantrum, Misha would have been off the show the minute Jensen received a death threat from hellers.

Misha and Jensen have no common interest.  Jensen loves watching sports, playing golf, listening to rock music, playing the guitar and singing.  Misha likes, cycling, carpentry and Tibetan throat singing.  They have nothing in common.  If you like someone who has different interests than you, wouldn't you try to learn more about their interests and join them in pursuing their interests.  Jensen and Misha also don't have complimentary personalities.  Jensen doesn't swear on stage.  Misha is foul mouthed.  Jensen doesn't make overtly sexual remarks.  Misha is very vulgar on stage.  They outlook on the art of acting is also starkly different.  Jensen has a love for his craft, whilst Misha has confessed to not having a particular knack or passion for acting.   

According to tinhats, Cockles are happily marreid to their respective wives but all four of them have orgies together.  Of course, there are variations to this theory.  When cockles tinhats are asked what proof they have for how they feel, they say:

Jensen laughs at Misha's jokes [and its a unicorn laugh apparently]

They mention Jibcon, where they claim Jensen got drunk and flirted with Misha on stage. 

Jensen and Misha are flirty with each other, caressing each other's cheeks. 

Jared Padalecki is proof of cockles because he ships it the most and gives clues to what is going on between Jensen and Misha. 

They share shirts. 

The crux of Misha's first impression of Jensen [from an earlier con]: 

‘He actually seemed standoffish, when I first met him.  As I got to know him, however, I realized that he really is standoffish.’

Jared and Jensen

Jared and Jensen are the leads.  They spend nine months out of the year working with each other.  They have worked together nonstop for the past 13 years and counting.  They also live down the road from each other in Austin.  They used to live together and were best men at each other's weddings.  Their children go to the same school and call dad's friend ''uncle''.  Tom is Jensen's greatest fan and Jared regrets not being there for the birth of ''Birdie'' [JJ].  They have an extended family situation.  Despite spending all their time together, they also go on holidays together.  They are both middle children, both have an older brother and younger sister, grew up in Texas, love country music and sports.  Jared plays the guitar in his trailer everyday and, according to Jensen, he is very good.  Jared joins Jensen to play golf although he admits he is not very good at it. 

Jared doesn't swear on stage.  He did once, by accident, but he was mortified and apologized.  He makes goofy jokes, not vulgar ones.  Jensen admires Jared's rendition of white suit luci but to date hasn't really said anything truly about Casifer.  He did laugh at the Empty!Cas voice though.  So Jensen admires Jared's acting efforts.  It wasn't the first compliment he paid to Jared's acting abilities.  He hasn't done the same for Misha's work as Castiel.  Jared helped Jensen with the construction work for the FBBC.  When Jared got sick at Jib a few years ago, Jensen took to the stage and sang a song because being Jared's emotional support.  The next year or so, he sang the song again on Saturday night, with Jared watching teary eyed.  That same year Jensen hugged Jared in the closing ceremony.  The year after that, Jensen hugged and sang Wayward to Jared in the hallway after the closing ceremony.  When he broke down, he hugged Jared many times, but when Misha tried hugging him, Jensen said ''don't''.    

According to J2 tinhats, J2 have been married to each other since season four ish.  Genevieve signed a contract to be Jared's wife, and Danneel was just helping out her friend Jensen.  J2 are the parents of six children.  There are variations to this theory too.  When asked for proof of their feelings, J2 tinhats say the following:

Jared wiped his snotty nose on Jensen's sleeve.

Jared called his drink and dinner with Jensen #datenight on Twitter.

When someone called Sandy [Jared's ex-girlfriend] his beard, she liked the comment.

When Travis spent his entire panel talking about how in love J2 are, he got pulled out of the next con. 

For Jared's honeymoon, he went on a group trek up Machu Pichu and slept in a tent, and for Jensen's honeymoon, Danneel's brother Gino went with them.   Both were delayed honeymoons. 

Jared wore Jensen's underwear.

The crux of Jared's first impression of Jensen [from a recent afternoon panel]:

'He and I had so much in common.  It didn't feel like a blind date.'

I don't tinhat, but I don't blame the J2 tinhat.  The Cockles tinhats don't seem to have compelling info, and they take the hatting to the stars.  That is not cool. 

As far as the gag reel goes, smacking someone in the crotch area is not a sign of affection.  It is horseplay.  Its pranking.  Jared fondles Misha in the crotch area.  Misha barreled into Richard, landing on top of him.  Its not a big deal, and its certainly not sound evidence of anything other than boys being boys.  Enjoy your hatting, but leave the actors alone and don't go out of your way to pull people into your circle.  But the J2 tinhats don't do that?  As far as I know. 

Forgive all typos.  Insomnia sucks!

#misha #jensen ackles #destiel #cockles #jenmish #jensen and misha #deancas #casdean #dean x castiel #castiel #cas #bi dean #dean is bi #dean and cas #jenmisheel #dean winchester #destiel headcanon #jdvm #misha collins #sam winchester #sam and dean #jensen and jared #wincest #supernatural #jared padalecki #padackles #performing dean #sabriel #sammy winchester #j2

[calleo-bricriu]

Finally finished that awful book.

Go back and look at the rest of it if you want to make yourself hate the fact that anyone is able to publish their terrible, talentless fiction writing.

All right, Chapter 27, extra fun doing this with my parents here.

The faces dad's been making are kind of worth it though; mum just sort of looks up from what she's doing now and again, shakes her head--at the story, not me--and goes back to it.

I'm finishing this horrorshow of a book off tonight so I never have to look at it again unless it's to shove it at someone who hasn't read it but deserves to.

So, we're away from the, "I copied this straight from a newspaper article, look it up!" chapter (which, if you recall, I did look up, and it doesn't exist, he made it up) and on to Obera asking Leigh out of the blue if he'll ever regret having married her.

His answer is less a yes or no and more, "Did I do something to make you mad?"

Her response is even more inexplicable; she tells him he hasn't then adds on, "But you know how a divorced woman is treated by the world."

Not--strictly the right set of priorities here but, all right.

She mentions something about "the money" and I'm not sure if that means we're just skipping the entire part where Mizpra got power of attorney from her addled mother and Leigh--I don't know, physically fought her over or if we're still getting to that and the author forgot and this bit was meant to be closer to the end of the actual story.

Given all of the man's other writing, I think he just forgot.

"You were a child, Obera, when I first met you." Yikes.

And she found that somehow a really romantic way to start things because, "she clung closer to him, and her little body vibrated with thrilling emotions." Is it not possible for this guy to not write like a creep you'd find in the bushes outside a kid's bedroom window?

Obera has a bit of sense at some point and suggest maybe trying to mess with Mizpra, who has already proven herself to be pretty unstable or at least willing to murder a child, might not be the best idea but Leigh is the genius of the story and ignores her.

Sorry, I mean explains why he's right and she's just a silly little girl-woman.

Anyway, Leigh's plan is to have Mizpra shipped off to a mental institution; tells Obera she wouldn't understand that because she wouldn't understand the "diabolical nature of her (Mizpra's) insane passions" and neither would the courts.

So far, we haven't seen much of those though, apart from her getting off on stabbing her sleeping husband with a hat pin and trying to murder a toddler via sending diphtheria tainted toys; the first thing isn't that abnormal, there are whole scenes around--not with hat pins, though, with sharp, single use piercing needles.

The second one is probably a crime, however and I'm still not entirely sure why nobody had her arrested for it since they knew exactly who sent it and how it was tainted.

Whatever.

He then offers to take her to Hawaii, which is where she's from, being a Tahitian princess, after all.

Again, her reaction is described as very child-like. Ew.

He then mentions he heard Mops crying, she says he was because he didn't want to wear shoes, then threw the shoes at her--fairly typical behaviour for a four year old kid but Leigh the Genius Doctor starts telling her that means they need to watch his mental health because he's showing signs of "uncontrolled impulses" and might end up neurotic and insane and probably an alcoholic and a criminal.

Man, he's four.

That's just how four year olds act sometimes.

Even I know that.

They go off for a few pages discussing "training" their four year old and it's all kind of terrible and advocates stopping just short of what you could get arrested for in terms of beating them.

(( Stuff inside gets into--not graphic, but still BDSM which is the ‘shocking’ and ‘perverted’ parts of The Perverts, more casual racism common for the time, and the most disappointing ending to a book I’ve read in ages.))

That somehow goes in to him saying he thinks the states should regulate marriage by law so the "unfit" can't get married; unfit meaning criminals, mental illness, tuberculosis, and "the physically weak and diseased" as well as "the insane".

Then he spins off into how shameful it is the crime rate in the United States is increasing at a "fearful rate".

Obera cuts in saying she think shaving laws regulating marriage sounded terrible to her until her Genius Husband Leigh explained why she was a wrong, silly woman, trying to have thoughts of her own.

That all gets interrupted by a letter from Rev. Bald who brings up some comment he made on the "matter of modern flagellation from a psychologic point of view" on the train, he found a bunch of books on the topic, he's pretty sure you can blame Catholics for it, and that's what makes them insane. Catholics, I mean.

Next is a newspaper article about Mizpra's school for "little half-breeds and Indian girls" which doesn't sound suspicious or weird at all--I mean, in fairness, for the time it was written that was pretty normal language, it just didn't age well at all.

So that article makes Leigh mad, her sister being apparently successful because that's half the problem with Mizpra: She does things women shouldn't be doing, like, not having children, getting an education, not caring if she looks fashionable, not wearing corsets, doing her own legal and financial work--you know, like the horrid witch she is or something.

I mean, honestly by this point in the story I'd team up with Mizpra so one of us could hold Leigh down while the other one just kicked him in the ribs until the noise stopped, he's that insufferable and obnoxiously wrong about everything.

Where was I?

Don't care, the last ten pages were Leigh whining about Catholics.

Chapter 28.

This one starts with a letter, "Los Angeles, -----, 189--" What? Los Angeles is in California, and why are you censoring the year?

Whatever.

It's a letter from Dr. Bell to open this time.

Bunch of stuff about The Spanish, most of it not flattering and about how they make great servants.

Everyone likes Mizpra there, so that's gonig ot make things more difficult.

Lots of paragraphs about how well liked Mizpra is.

No men allowed in the all girls' school, which is framed to be a bad thing but seems pretty reasonable to me.

There's also a little old lady called Penitente that will kill on sight if you're trespassing. She sounds fun.

And, for no reason whatsoever and with no proof, Dr. Bell concludes the whole school is a front for a sex dungeon of Mizpra's that she operates under the guise of "religious ceremony".

I mean obviously, that's where the author is going with it but he really should have spent some time laying down clues that that might be what's happening instead of having no mention or even hint of it then having one main character just randomly know that's what's happening.

So, Leigh decides, this evening, he's going to go and confront Mizpra. I mean, he did some waxing philosophical for a few pages until getting to that point but it was just him thining out loud about how amazing he is; great businessman, great doctor, great author, all around god tier person--we get it, Dr. Howard, Leigh is literally your power fantasy character.

They head off to try and bust Mizpra in the middle of some kind of weird--I don't know what, "active criminal act" prove her insane, or something.  And even if they find her in the place doing what everyone thinks she does: Being a decent, regular person, they'll all be fucked because then they'll look like trespassing, stalker weirdos--which is kind of what they are anyway.

They decide it'd be best to "pounce upon her in the height of oe of her deliriums" which, I think, means they want to bust her mid-orgy in the church basement. Fair enough, I guess; that's probably not the best place to have those anyway.

15 pages of explaining the plan where nothing is actually explained beyond describing the building's exterior.

10 more pages complaining about Catholics, particularly Spanish Catholics.

GET BACK TO THE MAIN PLOT. This is pointless filler.

Leigh eventually calls this all an "errand of mercy" like--just--no. It's not. You've been harassing Mizpra for about ten years in story time here, going out of your way to make fun of her looks, her life choices, her career, her education, her clothes, etc...she's not the bad guy here, Leigh.

Also, you named your kid Mops. Why would you do that to a child?

Chapter 24.

Two pages describing irrelvant scenery.

Look, even Tolkein would read this guy's book and tell him he's too long winded with unnecessary description.

Oh of course it's storming, why wouldn't it be storming? Convenient weather to bust the Bad Character.

So Leigh, being the genius at everything he is (including tracking now) hears a false owl call and knows someone is waiting for them.

Oh, it's the poor "Indian boy" from a few chapters back. "Indian boy here. Bad night, climb. Good night corral bad he squaw." I got nothing here--author didn't even bother giving that character a name.

"Indian boy" leads them to the building because he doesn't like Mizpra, I think. I'm pretty sure she's the "bad squaw". Or the "bad he squaw" except I'm  not sure what a "he squaw" is.

Leigh, of course, has to describe the kid in a creepy way: "Leigh looked at the sweet-voiced lad who stood under the partial roof. His long black hair shining from the rain drops which trickled from it, fell on his bronze, bare shoulders."  Leigh, please calm down.

And finally, after the third time in a couple hundred pages this kid appears, someone addresses him by name, which is Luis, which is definitely not his real name and likely one assigned to him by the church. Still, it's a step above calling him "Indian boy", I guess.

They plan a bit more and sit around smoking while waiting for the right time to go in and get by that Penitente woman who will shoot on sight.

Back to discussing the building layout and occasionally giving Luis many other slightly derogatory nicknames like "brave little Indian boy" and "our little black-haired friend".

He has a sister (re)named Angelia in the school, which is why he's helping them. One of the most reasonable people with a proper reason to want to break in.

He also calls the lady that will shoot on site "old hag squaw".

Chapter 25, finally after two chapters of pointless, repetitive planning, they're going to break into the damn place and of course now it's storming rather a lot.

SO! They get in and all three are immediately horrified by the first glimpse of the chapel. Red is, evidently, a colour they don't like.

Walls and ceiling blood-red, carpet of "funereal" black--just say black, and spell funeral correctly.

Big chandelier with candles that wer elit in a way that made the walls look as though they were on fire. Big ebony cross with a wax woman pawing at it--the sort of thing you see in religious art now and again, and under the chandelier there was pink and white silk for more lighting effects.

Onyx pedestal, golden crucifix, black and gold latticed confessional areas, gold curtains,"many signs of Mizpra's mania" on the walls: Haircloths, wreaths and belts of thorns, steel hooks, rods of iron, leather whips, knotted rope whips, iron and steel instruments of torture that are never described beyond that, a brilliantly coloured and painted altar that was "poisoned, destroyed by the lecherous and realistic painting which hung over it".

The painting is by, "the carnal and lewd Father Gerard", whoever that is.

This honestly sounds like a pretty cool looking room; if I'm meant to be shocked or horrified it's had the opposite effect. Mizpra has an eye for design.

"[...] the whole ch amber swam before his eyes as one flaming pornographic panorama" and that was enough that Leigh was just, "Nope, I've had enough of this, we're leaving," while everyone else went with--I mean they tried to be nice about it but the underlying tone is, "This was YOUR idea, asshole, you're not backing out now."

Noise is heard from the library, that gets drown out by the actual bells of the place going off with the time. Midnight, of course. It's always midnight for these types of scenes.

Nun comes in, they all sort of hide, Nun does regular Nun things and Leigh mutters something about death being marked on her face despite the fact that she's doing nothing out of the ordinary for a Nun but, she's thin, so he thinks she's gross.

Okay, finally something else is happening. Mizpra shows up, the Nun from before--I mean, Leigh, this is just someone's private life you're intruding on here but anyway, this is definitely a BDSM scene with religious overtones and nobody involved is objecting (and definitely didn't consdent to have these three fucking weirdos watch them).

I know this is meant to be shocking but, again, this is not an uncommon thing; Mizpra is being written as a pretty run of the mill Dominatrix, she's not forcing the other girl to do anything she does't want to do, and what's happening is clearly a planned out, scripted scene.

Apart from the three weirdos watching from the shadows.

More descriptions of Mizpra being "manly", of course, and suddenly the Peeping Tom Party decides to burst in and break up the scene.

"Sister, you are not well."

She was fine until you interrupted her, Leigh.

He very politely asks her to accompany him to the asylum which is not really a reasonable thing to ask someone, especially if you already think they're out of their mind and don't realise it.

Her respose was "vulgar voicing with which the vilest curses were mingled". Not an entirely unfair response to, "Please allow me to have you locked up in an insane asylum, thank you."

Luis very neatly bashes the head of the guard lady in with a crucifix, so that wraps up that loose thread but also seems to have angered Mizpra.

You know, because they broke in and murdered someone.

She flips it around and says she lured them all there and now they've all been caught murdering some old lady.

She makes fun of Bald for awhile, so he rushes her and tries to strangle her, and she doesn't appear to care in the slightest. She pulls him out to the cliff edge balcony, pulls a rope that apparently makes the balcony fold down for some reason, and they both fall off of the cliff.

And that's...it.

"A brilliant flash of lightning shot out from the heavens, and the white face of Mizpra, defiant as ever, was lighted up as she and Bald turned over in the emptiness of the abyss----THE END."

#books #antique books #hp rp #fiction #mizpra was definitely not the bad person here

[agent-ches]

THOR : RAGNAROK THOUGHTS (SPOILER ALERT)

literally the visuals of the damn film were great, A+++

- first of all THANK YOU TAIKA FOR DIRECTING THIS BEAUTY 

- he literally added all of his little touches from Rachel House as Topaz from The Hunt for the Wilderpeople (there was an easter egg in the first trailer with reference to the movie through graffiti of the Skux Life) to Luke Hemsworth and Matt Damon impersonating Thor and Loki on stage

- THOR TALKING TO A DAMN SKELETON 

- you’re probably wondering how i ended up like this cliche

- THANKS FOR BRINGING IN MY MAN KARL URBAN TO PLAY SKURGE who has a pretty decent character arc from replacing Heimdall to collecting knick knacks from the nine realms (machine guns named ‘Des’ and ‘Troy’, together they’re ‘Destroy’) and trying to impress ladies to temporarily becoming Hela’s Executioner although he hasn’t the heart to kill his own people to trying to be a stowaway (some would call this cowardly but wait) to deciding to fight for Asgard and giving his life as a result, he got his recognition 

- Thor’s hammer antics, putting it in the dragon’s mouth and setting it on Loki’s chest like, “Stay!” and “OW OW OW” yeah that hammer is a real gem, pity Hela had to destroy it, makes sense that she would be able to do so since she wielded it before Thor was ever born when she and Odin had their fun rampaging the realms

- HELA IS THOR’S (and technically Loki’s) OLDER SISTER????????????? WHAT THE HELL????

- Loki as Odin was bloody hilarious, going “Oh shit” the moment his brother shows up (plus the giant statue of himself in gold, really??? a bit much???)

- LOKI LEAVING ODIN IN AN ELDERLY HOME HAH (the damn thing was being demolished like HELLO) 

- Loki having to outdo Thor in some way aka FULL BLACK SUIT, SHIRT AND TIE FROM HEAD TO TOE while Thor is literally in jeans and a jacket (his face when Thor was asked for a selfie though, like how is that ever possible) 

- THANKS FOR BRINGING IN BENEDICT TOO LIKE I NEEDED ME SOME STEPHEN STRANGE BEING SUPER EXTRA AND TELEPORTING(???) EVERYWHERE MAKING THOR WHOOZY (honestly i laughed so hard when Loki said he’d been falling for thirty minutes since Strange opened a portal for him to fall into and then reopned it much later, loved it) 

- Thor disguising his hammer as a damn umbrella and it completely wrecking the New York Sanctum as it flies to him 

- Sentimental bros when Odin passed on IN FRIGGING NORWAY

- The clouds and thunder mirroring Thor’s grief and anger and the sparks crackling like the perfect foreshadowing 

- Thor being a dramatic dork with the most unnecessary costume change of the century, a lightning strike *rolls eyes to the moon and back* 

- CATE BLANCETT IS SO HOT HOLY SHIT 

- HER HAIR TURNS INTO HER HEADDRESS????? WHAAAAA?????

- HELA WHY YOU KILL MY WARRIORS THREE SOBS 

- heimdall the fugitive, cue the mission impossible theme song (completely necessary i assure you) 

- the amount of humour littered throughout the film is ridiculously fantastic so much so that i can’t possibly go through all of it but kudos to Drunk!Valkyrie, that is a mood i can totally agree with

- Loki and Thor arguing like a bunch of children good lord (CAN I JUST, THE GRANDMASTER SUBTLY FLIRTING WITH LOKI AND THOR JUST LOOKING COMPLETELY CONFUSED LIKE ????? GOLD!!!)

- SPARKLESSSSS

- “What’s the word we use for her that start’s with B?” “Trash.” 

- Valkyrie sassing her way through the film, everywhere from speaking to Thor to Topaz and Loki like, what a boss

- Thor getting his hair cut by Stan Lee with a robotic arm (he’s so damn attached to his hair like woah)

- TAIKA VOICING KORG LIKE WHAT A PRECIOUS BEAN THAT GIANT STONE MONSTER IS I LOVE HIM ( he’s so precious “I tried to start a revolution but couldn’t print enough pamplets” + “We’re going to get out of here on that ship, want to join us?” + “I accidentally stepped on [Meek] on the Bridge and I felt so bad, I’ve been carrying him around all day” + Meek wakes up, “HEY EVERYONE MEEK’S ALIVE”) also the subtle explicit jokes did not go unnoticed ahem ahem -.-

- Loki’s projections being a recurring theme throughout the whole movie from the start where he visit’s Thor in the contender’s holding area, “to try and help him” and Thor keeps throwing stuff through him because his brother won’t even try to come and meet him face to face (Korg attacking supposed ‘ghost’ was also adorable), to when Loki is chained up in Valkyrie’s room and Thor throws something at him (it hits him in the head) to check if he’s really present, to when they try to escape and Thor figures out the trick because Loki’s inherent selfishness tips him off, and finally the ending when Lokis shows up after throwing Surtur’s crown into the fire, Thor not even daring to believe his brother is there in the room, “I would hug you if you were here,” and he tosses something at supposed projection only to have Loki catch it, “I’m here”, that was a tender scene between the brothers and I love Taika all the more for executing it as such (he could easily have had Tom miss the object and allowed it to hit him but he kept the moment an intimate one, bless him for that) 

- the classic “HE’S A FRIEND FROM WORK” and Loki’s face when he saw the Hulk, “I NEED TO GET OFF THIS PLANET” *flashbacks to PUNY GOD* 

- Thor’s lightning being triggered by Odin and the Hulk’s punches though, the lightning is so flipping amazing and it’s honestly really cool to watch?????

- Bruce was the Hulk for TWO YEARS????? and Nat is the one to trigger the switch back (also his and Thor’s little frienship squabble was pretty cute, not to mention the Quinjet recognising Thor as POINTBREAK BAHAHAHA)

- Bruce in Tony’s clothes (can i get a little SCIENCE BROS up in here) 

- Valkyrie and Bruce being so damn oblivious 

- “Loki turned into a snake and I liked snakes and then he changed back into himself and stabbed me with a knife WHEN WE WERE EIGHT” and Loki still has the guts to smile, devious little bastard

- “Let’s do ‘GET HELP’!” ��No, that’s embarrasing” proceed to Thor literally TOSSING Loki at the guards

- “It’s a leisure ship, the Grandmaster uses it for his orgys” oh lord bless me 

- I don’t have much to say about Heimdall or Hela to be very honest, because we were only briefly introduced to Hela and Heimdall was barely touched on except as a fugitive getting the Asgardians to evacuate. Hela was mostly just stipulated as the villain and sister goddess, though her ability to produce swords continuously is fantastic and nicely presented 

- Valkyrie’s past was cleverly dealt with instead of having a cheesy heart to heart, with Loki showcasing his magic abilities to pluck the memory from her mind and see for himself what really happened that turned her into a drunken scavenger 

- Thor wanting to be a Valkyrie growing up then realising they were all women

- Bruce has 7 PhDs, good to know (none of them are for flying alien spacecraft though, also good to know) 

- LOKI IS ACTUALLY RELATIVELY GOOD IN THIS ONE (although he does halt by the Tesseract and we all can guess that he takes it since he has it in Infinity War) 

- Taika handled the missing Gauntlet fantastically with Hela tipping the relic over in Odin’s vault, calling it a fake, which alludes to the real one being missing, really nice segway right there (she also hovers by the Tesseract and recognises it’s power)

- Thor losing an eye, Loki thinking his new eye patch suits him and Hela saying he looks like their ‘dad’ 

- VENTRESS AKA THE REALLY CUTE AND SCARY GIANT WOLF THAT HELA CALLS HER PET IS SO COOL but also undead so yeah ....

- Asgard is a people (and Thor being their king, decides to take them to earth...) 

- Ragnarok having a completely different meaning by the end of the film 

- “Let me rephrase, how do you think the people will react to you bringing ME back?” “They wouldn’t be very pleased.” and cue what supposedly looks like a giant ass ship from Thanos 

- second post credits scene was mostly for the laughs 

- NO SOUL STONE IN THIS ONE FOLKS 

- things were just a tad rushed in this one but the graphics and fight sequences were gracefully done and i’m satisfied

#thor ragnarok #thor #thor odinson #loki #loki laufeyson #thorki #ragnarok #valkyrie #topaz #grandmaster #jeff goldblum #tess thompson #chris hemsworth #tom hiddleston #rachel house #taika waititi #2017 #mcu #marvel #marvel comics #marvel cinematic universe #hela #cate blanchett #odin #anthony hopkins #doctor strange #stephen strange #benedict cumberbatch #god of thunder #god of mischief

[sobdasha]

i got caught up with this not because i did better but because i’ve had no time/watched some tv

War for the Oaks, Emma Bull I began reading this book at the same time as The Innkeeper's Song, listed below. I started out dragging my feet on this one and racing through TIS. But one book got progressively more amazing while the other book got progressively less impressive and my better book is this one. This was the roomie's first brush with urban fantasy, and one of her friends got her a second-hand first edition paperback, and so she talked about it a lot until I finally picked it up and she said "Uh but also I haven't read it in forever so I uh. Don't know how it holds up." (She rightly fears me because as you will have noticed I am a Very Particular Reader.) Reasons I disliked this book at first: - fashion choices that scream "1980s" and fashion choices that scream "lesbian" are incredibly similar and guess which of the two I am not getting, seeing as this was published in 1987. - Eddie is breaking up with her garbage boyfriend which is good but she has an incredible amount of chemistry with Carla which is disheartening given that I know I won't get sapphics and Eddie will end up dating some other boy with whom there is no chemistry. - This is a book about rock-n-roll bands I don't know any of these songs (okay I might know these songs but I don't know artists or titles so I may as well not know any of these songs) it's kinda wasted on me. - oh boy I'm so excited to watch her and the phouka fight like Kagome and Inuyasha or any other pair with this dynamic yaaaaay /sarcasm Reasons this came to be a Good Read: - Everyone dresses so goddamn queer in this book that you know what, everyone except that jerkass Stuart is queer. He's garbage so he can be straight or whatever. It's my reading experience I do what I want. There's no way these people aren't bi. Also it's canon because everyone takes one look at the phouka and assumes he's gay. …………………………with slurs but still. - Good supporting cast. - I both failed to give the phouka a deep voice and also to sustain a Stereotypical Gay voice (which, the dialogue will totally 100% support), but I did accidentally voice him with Tatum's dub of Tomoe from Kamisama Kiss which was completely appropriate in the "vaguely gay vaguely British unambiguously prissy" department, and also entertaining because it reminded me of the dynamics in that anime but, y'know, better. - I almost gave up when the romance hit hardcore but it turned out later that was actually a fake-out that was meant to be garbage and set us up for the endgame much later, by which point Eddie and the phouka actually had the same level of chemistry as Eddie and Carla, so I could actively enjoy the ship. A win! Anyway it was fun. It may not have aged the best in the sense that it strove to be accurate to time and place (see: homophobic slurs), but the character dynamics held up pretty dang well. I would definitely read this again and enjoy myself; in fact I plan to.

The Innkeeper's Song, Peter S. Beagle I was very excited to read this because I was so blown away by The Last Unicorn but the more I read the more disappointed I got. Half the time I feel like that weeb who is like "hello I only like your fanfic you wrote when you were 13 and high on pixie stixs, all your stuff now sucks", and half the time I tell myself, "Maybe there is a reason I've only ever heard of The Last Unicorn and had no idea he'd actually written other books." As you have probably picked up by now, I have a knee-jerk dislike of first person PoV where it must prove itself worthy to me first, despite the fact that I like plenty of things written in first person. I also have a knee-jerk dislike of "I will change the narrator every chapter and announce loudly who it is instead of doing it subtly but unmistakably in the content of the text itself." This book had both. Despite all my harsh judgment, it would be incorrect of me to say that this writing choice is not valid. That this writing choice cannot be used to amazing effect. I do not believe that is what happened here. I did not feel it was adding much to the story to begin with (other than being the shortest and straightest path to advancing a narrative with many fronts), and I was definitely unimpressed when we got to the string of chapters, all of them less than a page and some no more than a paragraph, during the orgy scene where the 3 women have sex with 1 teen boy who's been thirsting after them, and they pay him a lot of worshipful attention in the orgy even though none of them actually like him, and also this is when we reveal one of the women is a man in disguise in the most confusing way possible so my cringe got even deeper as I waited for Beagle to fuck up a trans storyline. (It was literally just "I'm on the run so I'm magically dressing as a girl" but it took a really long time to clarify that after.) In addition to not liking the narrative structure, I just wasn't interested or invested in the actual plot. It didn't feel very urgent or important and at the end I was like "what even happened and also why did it happen." I was underwhelmed. I was definitely the wrong audience for this book. Oh also because I was not enjoying myself I started to get really irrationally annoyed by the way fantasy fauna and flora would have fantasy names and they would be italicized. In a first person PoV. Where the narrator is literally speaking the language that this word is native to. It half felt pretentious, and half highlighted what felt like a loose thread: everyone is literally narrating to someone (presumably collecting the story, after everyone has gone their separate ways) and this has all been woven together into a proper narrative, but our story collector is absent despite addresses to such a person. What purpose does this serve? Does it make it more ~authentic~ fantasy? Because I don't buy it. Now my suspension of disbelief is snapped; I'd have preferred it was either left out entirely, or made into a brilliant framing device like in The Name of the Wind.

Giant Bones, Peter S. Beagle This one was short stories "set in the same universe as The Innkeeper's Song", which basically meant some city names were reused, as well as all those italicized fantasy names and the "I am narrating my story to an audience in-story" frame. You know, all the things I didn't particularly care for. I pressed on to see if there was anything I might like, but since I can't remember, I assume there wasn't. Because this left me wanting, and the title was Giant Bones, I went to reread Conservation of Shadows by Lee instead, starting with "The Bones of Giants," which was greatly preferable, so much more my speed. That's when I did the write-up for the last round of books lol.

Nimona, Noelle Stevenson This has been on my list for Forever but I'm bad at reading new books. Anyway! Nimona was very good!! It felt, hm, very self-indulgent in the way that is amazing, where the creator gives themself whatever they want and the work turns out brilliantly because of it. I didn't think I was into friends to enemies to lovers but apparently I love it wen Stevenson handles it (see: She Ra reboot). Speaking of She Ra, I probably would have figured out where the end game was going if I'd read Nimona before looool. I know people referenced it when they talked ships but I just….didn't...pay enough attention. There was found family stuff I enjoyed, dad stuff, I'm finding that I am liking a lot of takes on monster girls, etc. Anyway it gave me a lot of feelings, it was funny, it was good, I need to get a copy.

The Dragon Pearl, Yoon Ha Lee The first time I talked about this book I mentioned something about the pacing and suspending disbelief or whatever, but I want to note that this time the pacing felt perfect and the plot didn't seem weird at all, it flowed very smoothly. I don't know if that's because it was a reread and I knew where it was going, or because I just read it awkwardly the first time. Anyway. Something that stood out to me this time is that, near the end, I realized this story is a bit animated Disney Mulan. There's even the "you broke this you broke that you impersonated a soldier but also you saved China so thanks" bit. Where The Dragon Pearl is wildly different from other Mulan-type stories that I like (see: Monstrous Regiment) is that it is entirely ungendered. (There are some mentions of gender in the book. These amount mostly to, "most foxes choose to be female because Tradition but one of my cousins decided to be male like my brother and no one mocks him for it" and "official name tags also include handy signifiers of which personal pronouns a person prefers.") What I'm trying to say is, a lot of other stuff when dealing with/trying to deconstruct gender stereotyping, ends up reinforcing it in a way. In order to illustrate why the stereotypes are wrong, they end up repeating the stereotypes a lot in order to argue against them. The Dragon Pearl, on the other hand, is genderless in a way that doesn't reinforce the gender binary. There are no gendered clothes. There are no gendered bathrooms. There are no gendered hairstyles or accessories. There are no gendered actions or emotions or stereotypes. There are no gendered bodies (the differences highlighted between Min and Jang-who-she's-shapeshifting-into are of build ie, height, center of gravity, not of private bits). No plot points revolve around the maleness of the person Min is impersonating; no plot points revolve around the femaleness of Min. And they/them? It's never explained why any person uses that pronoun. They just do so that's just how it is. I just think this is amazingly neat and I wanna applaud Lee for this finesse.

The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue, Mackenzi Lee I put this on my list because Queer and people were recommending it, but it was not well-advertized to me. I was expecting shallow teen romance, but dressed in historical clothes and unsubtly, unabashedly, unashamedly GAY. So I was expecting some gay. I was not expecting gay pining I actually enjoyed, I was not expecting call-outs for privilege of wealth and class and sex and color, I was not expecting the drama of the romance to not be stupidly fabricated misunderstandings but instead be driven by the need for character development and personal growth, I had forgotten I was expecting people of color, people with disabilities, badass women, I was not expecting a nuanced call-out of ableism ("I don't believe I need to be well to be happy", etc). I was not expecting a reversal of gender stereotypes that avoided saying "X gender is bad." Like, Monty is the team weakest link. Monty faints at the sight of blood. Monty is romantic and emotional and swoons at the slightest provocation. Monty uses his wiles to seduce people, that's the main skill he actually brings to the party. Monty cries. Aside from probably Monty's asshole dad who hates him for being gay, no one else nor the narrative calls these traits out as being Feminine (And Therefore Bad). Like, haha, We All Know These Are All Stereotypes Of Women At The Time, but no one says it. I find there's something really nice about no one saying it. Meanwhile, Percy and Felicity are competent and cool and I heart them. (What the hell, I heart Monty too. He really grows on you. He's so soft and in love and pathetic.) Anyway going back to the privilege thing, I love that Percy and Felicity and others constantly call Monty out on his privilege and refuse to coddle him over it. But they also care about him and they are very tender to him, not because of his privilege, but because he is a person who deserves basic person things, when he has his own issues. Your issues don't excuse your behavior, but yikes we deeply underestimated the sheer depth of your PTSD and we're gentler with you because of it. So try to stop being an ass. This book is just super wholesome and I can already tell this will be one of my new go-to's when I need a comfort book. Like Ancillary Justice etc.

The Gentleman's Guide to Getting Lucky, Mackenzi Lee This is not a fanfiction in the sense that is it written by the author and not a fan, but you need to understand, as part of me selling this to you as earnestly as I can, this is a fanfiction set after The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue which involves hijinks as Monty and Percy try and fail hilariously to have their first time having sex together, Felicity tries to wingman, there are miscommunications and nervous breakdowns and tender resolutions and it is absolutely a perfect indulgence. Because it was written by the actual author everyone is 100% in character and the narrative voice is spot-on. Kudos!

The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy, Mackenzi Lee Ace/aro Felicity???? ACE/ARO FELICITY!!! TBH I only vaguely remembered the descriptions for this one, ie "this time it's lesbians," and I was reading this going "there is a suspicious lack of lesbians but so much platonic vibes and also…..maybe…..maybe…????" and like I got both lesbians AND ace/aro Felicity????? Lee wrote this book? As a gift? For me???? I cannot believe I was blessed with "not like other girls"!Felicity as a vehicle for calling out the internalized misogyny inherent in the Not Like Other Girls mindset, and it is glorious. You can like pretty dresses and running around doing science, or you can hate dresses and only love science, or you can only like pretty dresses, or you can like whatever the heck you want in whatever combo, doesn't matter you're still a girl you're still valid and this shit isn't mutually exclusive. Much as I don't wear makeup (I've slowly learned to wear dresses again) in real life, gosh I love Johanna for being like "I love dresses and I love science and what if I was a badass adventurer but also got to be rescued a lot" because that was bitty me. Gimme a princess dress and a sword and a bow and arrows but also a tower to be rescued from and then various adventures. I want it both ways! And that's okay!! Also this is a critique I have apparently wanted since at least 3rd grade, see this proof from my daily journal prompts, I apologize for my lack of attention to spelling and forming letters: "Girls are what ever girls are. Girls like different things so I con't judge them all. Some girls like barbies. Just becaus you my not like barbies dosn't mean those girls aren't girls, it means they like more things that hove barbies. I like nintendo and I'm a girl." Apparently I was a Not Like Other Girls who thought Other Girls were still extremely valid. (that's kind of hilarious though because like, child, you had Barbies and didn't hate Barbies, you are just bad at playing with dolls and props. You're also bad at playing Nintendo.) Other stuff specifically, hm, it was refreshing to not have "I am skinny and perfect and clearly ugly" or even "I am legitimately ugly." Instead we have, "You do realize my torso is a solid rectangle, it laughs at this corset which I guess we are going to put on anyway, also my football player shoulders are going to literally pop the sleeves off that dress" and "I am built like a corgi dog, this is simply a fact of my proportions." Like, Felicity definitely has Issues with her traditional femininity and lack thereof, but I feel like it was never specifically tied to "my body shape is ugly." Also to go back to this book being written for me personally. You know they always say to write things that only you could write, that are self-indulgent, write what you want to see? It's really hard to do without a template to follow. Right before I picked up this book I realized that maybe The Thing Only I Would Write would be saying "a Skadi-and-Njord marriage is in fact a valid happy ending," but I've never seen that before and I don't know what it would look like even if I kind of understand the concept. All the media I consume, if not ending in romantic soulmates, is at least found family. If you are a loner, if you like being alone, your happy ending is to get a manic-pixie-dream-anything (girl, grandson, grandma, dog, whathaveyou) and integrate back into being social. There are no happy endings where a loner stays alone, where you get married but live separately and see each other very rarely because you love them but can't stand to live with them and you need to be alone to exist as you. And Mackenzi Lee just up and wrote it. It's valid to want to live in a house by yourself filled with bookshelves and have friends. It's valid for a girl to marry another girl who is a pirate and sails around most of the time and only comes to visit on occasion so you don't get sick of her and you keep loving her. This is an okay thing for an ace/aro to want, and it's valid to be happy with this. I can't even, y'all. I'm still marveling. I finally have seen a picture of the life I know would make me happy, and it's finally been acknowledged that I can be happy. (The amount of time I've spent, knowing I hate being social, and wondering--how many years down the line, when I'm living alone and content, will the switch suddenly flip? How many bridges will I have left behind when it turns out that I actually feel loneliness, and I'm miserable and unable to make friends and it turns out there are no manic pixie dream whatevers in real life and I fucked myself over forever because I was wrong and I should have been maintaining these social ties now and turning into someone I'm sure I'm not? What if people like me, who don't really get lonely without people, don't actually exist??) Anyway representation matters. Also Felicity being blindsided with Callum's proposal was, wow, okay I should have caught on to ace!Felicity then because that was so very accurate to my life experience minus people cutting fingers off. Look I was quoting stuff at the end to a friend and she was like "maybe that's why there's aces on the cover" and I am a very stupid ace okay. Felicity and Johanna's intense queerplatonic friendship that they keep trying to take up again in among the same sort of "you need character growth" drama that Monty needed re: Percy is also just, chef kiss, god I love this book. I need to buy this book. I haven't yet so what I did is I renewed all the books so I could immediately reread them after I finished them the first time.

#sobdasha booking

[fullofleaves]

Hi! I've been a huge fan of your work for years now. :) I think you're one of the authors who understand the depth and complexity of Loki's character the most, and you have such an amazing way of portraying both his strong and vulnerable aspects in your stories. I was just wondering if you've seen Ragnarok and if you have some time, would you be willing to share with us your honest thoughts about it? (Particularly about Loki's character development from the first two Thor films to this one?)

Yoooo sorry for taking forever to answer this, but the true fact is I had to go see Ragarok again to formulate a proper answer.  But, wow, thank you so much!  I really love Loki’s character, and spend probably Way Too Much Time thinking about him, so this is a great question.

Anyway.  HAVE I SEEN RAGNAROK.  Short answer: YES.  Longer answer: YES I HAVE SEEN IT THREE TIMES NOW AND NEED TO GO AGAIN AT SOME POINT.  It’s a very important movie to me, given my love of A) Loki, B) Loki being stuck in absolutely stupid situations, and C) Thor throwing stuff at Loki’s head.  That said, it had a couple details didn’t love so much, but overall it was exactly the kind of shit I’m in to.  I mean like… you’ve read the crap I write so you could have probably guessed that already.  I live for Loki’s suspicious relationship with the Grandmaster and the orgy ship and everyone saying the word anus a few too many times and Bruce complaining about Tony’s tight pants.  And the play.  Sweet Jesus, the play.  A+ material.  A+.

But Loki’s character.  There’s so much that could be said here, and I’ve seen a lot of really good meta floating around already, so I’m going to stick to a couple key points.

I really like this version of Loki?  And I think it’s a good direction for his character to go.  In the first Thor movie you had him starting off as a mischievous character but not really “evil”, until everything in his world went to hell and he kind of lost his shit.  In Avengers, well, he’s Full Evil, killing people for funzies and generally fucking everything up.  In Dark world, I don’t think he actually repented at all sitting locked away in prison… until Frigga’s death.  This is the first time his actions have had a real consequence for him, and you can see the change it makes when he fights alongside Thor.  And now here I feel like he has, in some ways, almost come back to who he was in the beginning.

He’s not Evil.  He didn’t kill Odin when he easily could have.  As “Odin”, he didn’t kill Thor or have him banished or send him off on a death sentence of a quest, or even try to do anything like that.  It’s implied he just kept encouraging Thor to stay away from Asgard, giving him space to build ridiculous statues of himself and commission bad theater.  He’s Loki of Asgard again, but like… a more confident, evolved version.  He’s been through actual hell with the Chitauri, did the whole supervillain thing, and now he’s just hanging around pulling the greatest con Asgard has ever seen by pretending to be king.  He didn’t even kill Heimdall, who probably saw right through his illusion.  Just discredited him and sent him on his way.  The point is: no more killing (at least of anybody more important than a random alien lackey or undead soldier) and his leadership of Asgard is more IDGAF than villainous.  Like if anybody noticed anything weird, they probably attributed it to Odin going off the deep end after Frigga’s death, not “we’re obviously being conned by an evil mastermind”.

Side note: this whole Odin charade would have been going on for several years by the time Thor finally outed him.  I think it’s possible that by this time, on some level, he was almost relieved to be caught.  It looks like he’d been pushing things further and further to see how much dumb shit he could get away with, tempting fate.  He doesn’t seem that upset at the big reveal, so obviously kingship of Asgard wasn’t a critical position for him.  He was just doing it for the lulz and basking in his own successful scheme.

And then they go to Earth to pick up Odin, and I think this is really Loki’s first wake-up call in the movie.  He had to have been expecting either Odin to still be under his enchantment (and Thor will kick his ass), or for Odin to retaliate in some way (as Odin is famous for doing).  In either case, he would have been mentally preparing himself for a confrontation.  That doesn’t happen.  Odin accepts and forgives him, which throws his whole balance completely off.  Is he reassessing all of his life choices that led up to this moment and rethinking his entire worldview?  Probably not.  But he has to, at the very least, feel kind of shitty.  You can see that in how he stays absolutely silent throughout the entire scene.  Not even a single word of argument or a weak attempt to explain himself. It’s Loki’s special brand of remorse.  You know: the kind where you don’t have to apologize (and probably get mad when somebody tries to talk to you about it.)

Now for the next wake-up call, let’s consider that Loki landed on Sakaar weeks before Thor did.  And because he was kicked out of the Bifrost beam first, he had no idea how the fight between Thor and Hela ended.  Did Thor win?  Who knows?  From his vantage point, it looked like Hela was pretty savage and had a good chance at coming out ahead.  He had to consider the very real possibility that Thor was dead or otherwise out of the way.  And you’d think that somebody who professed to have such a desire to sit on the throne would do anything to find his way back to Asgard to see WTF was going on, but… he didn’t.  He stayed where he landed. I’m still trying to figure out his motivation behind this choice.  Waiting for the right opportunity?  Maybe.  But if he’d already stolen the security codes, what was stopping him from leaving?  I think it’s more likely that he’d given up (at least for the time being) and decided this was is life now.  It was his fault Odin died and Hela was released.  His fault Thor could very well be dead and Asgard destroyed.  Add Frigga’s death on top of that and I’m thinking he’s decided at this point that Asgard is better off without him.  

And you can see this in the infamous elevator scene.  Loki mentions wanting to stay on Sakaar, in what’s pretty obviously a setup for Thor to say “oh no brother you are way too important to me, we must stay together”.  And then he’d grudgingly agree.  Instead, Thor’s like “YEP, THIS HELLHOLE SURE IS PERFECT FOR A SACK OF DICKS LIKE YOU, LMAO.”  He asks if Thor really thinks so little of him, when he has to think so little of himself.  It’s kind of a crushing blow to hear that Thor agrees.

My opinion?  Loki wouldn’t have tried to betray Thor in the following scene if Thor had given him the answer and brotherly love he was looking for.  Like, he would’ve betrayed Thor eventually, because that’s what he does, but it’d probably be more like “Hey Thor now that we’ve saved Asgard, how about you go off and restore peace to the realms while I stay behind and definitely do nothing to undermine your authority and usurp power again”.  He knows Thor’s the only one who has a chance at defeating Hela, so it’s in his best interest to stay on that side of the equation.  It’s only when Thor turns him down that his Lokiness gets the better of him and decides to turn Thor in for the bounty and go his own way.

So why does he go back to Asgard?  Spite, probably.  I don’t think he ever specifically wants to be GOOD, per se.  He’ll always have a massive chip on his shoulder that’s giving him an excuse to be a stupid shit and ruin stuff for everyone, especially himself.  But I do think, at certain points, he has wanted to ACT good.  He wants to step up and do what’s right, either to prove something to himself (ie, killing Laufey) or to prove something to Thor (ie, showing up out of the mist with a giant spaceship to save the day).  That struck me as a real “you betrayed me but now I’m helping you, don’t you feel bad?” move.

Okay.  So.  Where does Loki’s character end up after all this?  Well there’s this really great post I’ve seen going around about how the existence of Hela helps him realize that, shit, maybe he’s not a Bad Guy.  Because if Odin’s own blood daughter can turn out that spectacularly fucked up, his own problems and hangups and crimes seem kind of paltry in comparison.  And I agree with this 100%.  Compared to Hela, he’s small potatoes.  Hela is now officially the Worst Child Ever and this has to make him feel better about himself.  It has to.  Before, Thor would probably complain to his friends about how terrible Loki was (in fact, he does just this when telling the snake story), but now?  Now Thor can complain to Loki about how terrible Hela is.  And Loki can be like, “Wow, yeah, she’s just off the fucking charts with Evilness.”  And then they bond with a fistbump, or whatever.

ANYWAY, the point of all this is…?  Loki goes through a lot in this movie, but I think he ends up in the right place.  I mean, obviously not geographically, because they’re about to be screwed up the ass by Thanos (I assume).  But he’s had a four-movie arc now, bouncing all over the place in terms of motivation and emotion, and it seems like he’s kind of… settled now?  He’s back where he started, at Thor’s side, but after all he’s been through I think he now has a better handle on what he wants for himself and where he thinks he belongs, as opposed to what others tell him he wants and where they say he belongs.  Maybe it’s just me wanting to see what I want to see, but he comes across as a character who’s more comfortable with himself.  Especially compared to the Loki who was lashing out so much in earlier movies.  He’s had his rebellious phase.  Now it’s time to start over rebuilding his relationship with his brother.

#asks #ragnarok - loki