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#one day i should make my tagging system consistent. today is not the day.
siyurikspakvariisis · 2 months
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your every thought on Shadowheart/Nocturne pls 🎤
You know how to cheer a girl up.
Spoilering for some of my mutuals who haven't finished the game yet (spoilers for act 2 and 3!):
What made you ship it?
beloved discord friend: abigail thorn appears in act 3 as a sharran cultist, this seems relevant to your interests me: haha nice me after meeting said sharran cultist: I AM NOT THE SAME PERSON I WAS FIVE MINUTES AGO
"I wasn't sure if I'd ever lay eyes on you again" is such an H-bomb (homosexuality bomb) and it only ramps up from there.
What are your favorite things about the ship?
alright. alright. i'm gonna try to be normal and put my thoughts in order instead of incoherently mashing my face against the keyboard.
it's all about nocturne's devotion for someone who cannot remember her. it's all about shadowheart returning to nocturne again and again. it's all about how their bond strains sharran dogma -- enough to make a dark justiciar's resolve crumble, if shadowheart goes that way! it's about how they kept each other's heart safe, how they helped each other survive and keep their kindness more or less intact in an environment that snuffs all kindness and all joy. the paradoxical nature of their bond: they kept each other sane enough to defy sharran dogma, but their bond was such that they tethered each other to the cult, unable to escape to keep the other safe.
Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?
I get that Shadowheart tends to be the focus on fannish works because she's the one who has more development and whatnot, but there is so much depth crammed into Nocturne's brief appearance? Her status as an officer, her brave but quiet defiance, her complicated relationship with Shar (and with Viconia and with Shadowheart herself! being a caretaker is not easy and often breeds resentment!!) I'd love to see more from Nocturne's perspective.
Also, as I said before. Nocturne was an officer in the cloister. Her hands were not clean. She's very sweet to Shadowheart, yeah, but what about her darker side? There's a lot of untapped potential there.
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juniperwoodwell · 1 year
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Dedication
Ch. 1| Ch. 2| Ch. 3 |
Kylo Ren x F!Reader
Word count: 4k
Warning(s):None(Hopefully)
summary:As a Captain in the First Order, Y/N has never been one to bring attention to herself unless it was commanding her squadron. What happens when a personal hobby make's her prey to one of the most feared men in the universe?
A/n: There will be a Masterlist so you can keep track of the chapter's and the posting of these chapters won't be consistent I apologize. I started college recently and am most occupied with that. There will be a tag list so lmk if you want to be added.
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"So? What did he say" Y/n asked the man who stood before her.
"It's been approved, but you only have an hour each day for one week. Then you are to return to your regular duties after that period is over," The man spoke calmly as he watched Y/n's eyes light up in excitement; Y/n pumped her fist in the air victoriously.
"Yes! Thank you, Father- I...I mean, Sir." She quickly corrected herself, but the man's face was just as happy as hers had been moments before.
"Little Sunflower, You don't need to call me Sir. You know that." He gently scolded,
"Mr. Sienor, You're needed for a Field test." A woman entered the room; she was his secretary, whom Y/n knew as Joyce.
"Yes, Thank you. Let them know I'm on my way." He dismissed Joyce and turned back to Y/n. "Now. You should also go; you start the inspection today and need to be in the hangar in twenty minutes."
"Okay. Be safe, Dad. And Tell mom I said hello." Raith nodded and left the room, Y/n soon leaving after him.
 The walk to the hangar typically took thirty minutes, but Y/n had a deadline, and she didn't want to be late. Upon arriving, Y/n was introduced to three engineers; one was a tall blonde man whose name she'd already forgotten, and another was a more petite brunette woman with thick-framed glasses whose name had also slipped her mind. She was briefed on the rules and regulations about what she would do. She was mostly there for personal reasons, but because she knew the ship like the back of her hand from the blueprints her father allowed her, the engineers asked her to do complete inspections on them and tell them if they'd missed anything in their checks and post-fight reports. It was a win-win situation. They got a temporary engineer, and she got to look over her favorite TIE model. The TIE/vn space superiority fighter, Or as most would call it. The TIE Silencer.
As Y/n stood with her hands on her hips in Infront of the brilliant ship, she observed every detail from the ground. She noticed some dents and scrapes on the hull.
"You must be the pilot they were speaking about." The low distorted voice seemed to startle the woman, who quickly turned around to address him; him...Kylo Ren, one of the most feared men in the galaxy.
 "uh. Yes. Sir, Capitan Y/n Sienor of the Special Forces." Spoke quickly and formally.
"Impulse." Her call sign rolled through the voice modulator like an animalistic growl.
"...You've heard of me then, Sir." A simple nod was the only response she received; assuming he was done talking, she turned back to the ship.
 A moment passed, and the distorted voice returned beside her. "Tell me everything you know about this ship, Capitan."
Y/n froze; she hadn't expected him to ask her such a question but obediently replied,
"Well, Sir. She's a prototype TIE/vn space superiority fighter with a twin-ion engine. Her maximum acceleration is four-thousand-five-hundred G's, Maximum atmospheric speed is one-thousand-eight-hundred and fifty kph. She's equipped with the torplex fight computer, two sensor arrays, four targeting sensors, and of course, life support. She was specifically designed for the use of the most elite in the first order. Her manufacturer is Sienar-jaemus Fleet Systems. She's fifty-seven feet long, twenty-five feet wide, and twelve feet tall. My favorite thing about her is how quiet she is." Once again, silence filled the tense air, and the looming figure caused Y/n to feel more anxious than she'd like to admit.
 "Impressive. But if you know it so well. Why do you need to study it?"He asked, turning his head towards her.
 "Selfishly. Personal reason, Sir. I was able to test fly one of the earlier models of this, and I was immediately enamored by it. But I wasn't able to study it like I had other models in the past, and when I heard that this one was here on the starkiller base, I asked my father to do me a favor. I'm not entirely sure who flies this beauty, but they're obviously of high rank and an exceptional pilot. She's not an easy one to fly." She turned her head towards him,
 "I know. It's mine." The shock on Y/n's face could have been comical without the slight tinge of fear she felt.
 "Oh. Wow, Must be an honor then" Her voice was dangerously close to wavering.
 "I approved your inspection under certain circumstances; I trust the engineers have briefed you on it." A nod from Y/n as she stood still like a statue. "You are to report your findings to the chief engineer after every shift. Be sure to make your reports detailed." Ending on that, Kylo Ren turned and left the hangar, leaving Y/n alone with her startled thoughts. 'Had he come here just to Interrogate me?'
The petite brunette woman made her way over to Y/n; surprise was written all over her features.
"Are you alright?" She asked, concern dripping off her words.
"Yes. I'm completely fine. I should start my inspection. I appreciate your concern, but it is unnecessary." Y/n spoke flatly as she began to climb into the cockpit of the TIE, surprised by how well-kept the ship was; apart from a few minor scratches, it was in peak condition.
 After inspecting the cockpit, she looked at the wings. The design of this TIE was aggressive and gave off a sense of power. The perfect ship for Kylo Ren, she thought to herself.
After that, the blonde engineer came over to let her know her hour was up. She thanked him and wrote a report; she left the hangar when she finished.
"Ah, look. Princess is back." A man with tanned skin and messy black hair spoke from his seat in the special forces lounge.
"Shut it, Cal. Where's the boss?" Y/n said sharply, ignoring the teasing from her squadron mates. "In his office like always." The man, Cal, replied. Y/n gave him a nod and then walked to the big red door in the back of the lounge. She opened the door, and as it slid up, she saw a figure clad In red armor.
 "Major. Do you have a moment?" Her voice was calm, but there was a tinge of anxiety.
"Of course, Come in." She did; the Major asked her to sit across from his desk. "What seems to be the matter?" He asked as he sat in his chair. Y/n fiddled with the hem of her captain's uniform,
 "I assume you're already aware of my temporary assignment. If I knew it would be approved, I would have asked your permission, Sir. I apologize for not doing so." A chuckle from the man before washed away the fear of punishment.
"If this assignment is to help the First Order succeed, then you have no reason to apologize. You're an expert when It comes to The TIE Starfighters. You have helped improve the ships tenfold. If you can do that here under my authority, then who am I to stop you." He spoke as if it was the simplest thing in the world.
"Of course, Thank you, Sir." She stood as he dismissed her.
The three Pilots who Y/n was closest to were all standing by the door when she exited.
 "You know these rooms are sound proof right?" the group shrugged; a taller woman in a tightfitting First Order undershirt and a pair of mechanics pants laid her hand on Y/n's shoulder.
"So...You're Inspecting Kylo Ren's ship? What's it like? Is it falling apart on the inside?" She joked,
"Miya! You Knew whose ship it was!?" Y/n asked, surprised.
"Uh. Yeah, Y/n. He's currently the only high-ranking officer who has a TIE Silencer." As they spoke, the door that Y/n was standing in front of opened, and the man in red spoke up,
"What are you all doing standing around? Don't you have work to do?" He asked, his voice stern but softened when he spoke to Y/n. "Don't you have a meeting with Phasma soon?" Y/n was startled by the realization and looked at her watch.
"Oh shoot. You're right. Okay, gotta go. Thank you for the reminder, Sir." she nodded to everyone and left the lounge room.
On her way to the conference room, she stopped by her quarters to grab her First Order mandatory captain's cap. She'd prefer not to get scolded by Hux for Improper military etiquette again. As she arrived at the conference room, she recognized the shiny platinum build
"Capitan Phasma," Y/n greeted formally. Phasma responded with a tort nod. Y/n liked to believe that she and Phasma were on good terms, Captains don't usually get along, but from the few conversations she's had with her, she knows Phasma, at the most, tolerates her.
"Are we early?" Y/n spoke up, her voice barely above a whisper, and Phasma looked down at her, nodding her head.
"There is one more person we're waiting for, H-"
"Hux...Fantastic." Y/n said dryly, Y/n had never been the military type, but she erased All expression from her face and stood at attention when she heard the annoyingly noticeable footsteps of General Armitage Hux.
"Capitans." He said with the same disdain he always used for anyone below him.
 "General." The women said in sync.
 Hux entered the conference room, and the two women followed after. The meeting started with the standard formalities and questions about Phasma's troopers and Y/n's new squadron, which she was teaching.
"Capitan Sienor, One more thing has been added to your new assignment. Kylo Ren has requested that he spectate the inspections on his ship. He will be joining you every hour for the next week." Shock snuck up onto Y/n's face, but it left as soon as it came.
 "Yes, Sir." She tightened her fists that were sitting in her lap. Phasma and Hux spoke some more, and the time seemed to fly by. When the meeting was over, they followed the same routine as when they came in: Hux, Phasma, and Y/n.
 It felt like there was a heavy weight now placed on Y/n's shoulders as she walked back to her quarters; she hadn't noticed the heavy footsteps behind her, and the daze she was in only seemed to snap away once she realized someone had placed their hand on her shoulder when she turned around she stared at the platinum giant with a forced smile.
"How can I help you, Capitan?"
"I need to speak with you. Do you have a moment?"
This behavior from Phasma would be very out of character to anyone who wasn't Y/n. They had lengthy conversations about work almost every two weeks if something was irritating them and they needed to let off some steam.
"Oh, Yeah. Of course. Come in," Y/n spoke as she walked to her door and opened it. Y/n offered Phasma a seat as she grabbed herself a glass of water.
"So, To what do I owe this visit?" She asked as she sat across from Phasma.
 "I know how you feel about Kylo Ren. I could sense your unease earlier; I want you to be extra cautious. You're a good leader; losing you would be a shame because of him and his temper tantrums." Phasma spoke easily as if she were speaking to one of her troopers. Had she not realized she had just said one of the kindest things Y/n had ever heard from anyone since she joined the first order?
Their conversation lasted about ten minutes before Phasma left; when the door closed, Y/n sighed. It was close to dinner time, and she took a quick shower before heading to the cafeteria.
"Y/n!" A voice called out to her as she entered the large room
"Callisto." she responded dryly, shrugging off the arm that was placed around her shoulders.
"Aw, come on. Don't be like that. Is this about me teasing you earlier? Because if it was, I hope you know I wasn't trying to hurt you. I'm sorry if I did-" He was cut off by Y/n placing her pointer finger against his lips, shutting him up
" You talk too much. And no, it has nothing to do with your teasing. I got used to that years ago." removing her hand from his face, she turned away and went to grab food. Hopefully, she tried to escape him, but he followed her like a lost pup.
 "What is it then? You know you can talk to me." He assured.
Callisto was a nice-ish guy, but he could be very annoying if he wanted to, so it was best to give him what he wanted.
"My new assignment isn't going to be as fun as I originally thought," Y/n sighed as she filled her plate and made her way to a seat, Cal mirroring her and sitting across from her.
"Originally thought what?" The gentle voice of Miya graced the small group's ears as she sat down next to Y/n.
"My assignment." Y/n tried her best to avoid this conversation, but her friends were persistent.
"Yeah? What about it?" Miya asked.
"Kylo Ren is spectating her investigations." A deep voice and strong figure appeared next to Cal.
"Shit! Ian. Where do you even come from!?" Cal cursed, startled by their soft-spoken friend.
"Of course, you'd know Killian." Miya rolled her eyes,
Killian knew a lot of dirt on a lot of people. Let's just say if you have a secret...He knows it.
"Teachers Pet." Y/n spat annoyedly,
"Princess." Killian replied in the same tone.
"Wait- So, really? Kylo Ren is spectating your investigations? Why?" Cal asked, stuffing his face with food.
"I don't know...Maybe he's worried I'll break something?" Y/n's tone was defeated, she did the best she could to stay as far away as possible from Kylo Ren, and now she has to spend an hour a day with him for the next week.
"I heard some of the techs say he looked you up," Killian spoke up
"Looked me up?"
"Yeah, You know. Like where you came from, How long you've been with the First Order, and your skill set."
 The look Y/n had given Killian was one full of disbelief.
"You're kidding me. Why the Hell would he need to know all that about her?" Miya asks, after being silent for the most part of the conversation.
"How should I know? I don't know everything, Miya."
"Well, you sure damn well act like it." The two bickered like an old married couple sometimes.
"Guys. Knock it off. Let's try not to draw attention to ourselves, please." Y/n spoke up as she slid her plate in front of her before standing from her seat.
 "Where are you going?" Cal asked, gently grabbing her wrist; she looked down and sighed.
"I gotta report to the Chief Engineer before the end of my shift."
"Okay, Just take it easy," he said as he squeezed her wrist before letting her go.
"She's gonna be alright, right?" Y/n heard Cal ask the group; she assumed that both Miya and Killian just shrugged since neither responded.
Taking a deep breath, Y/n knocked on the door to the Chief Engineers' Office, The door opened, and a small, frail-looking older woman stood in the doorway.
 "You must be Capitan Sienar. I'm Chief Engineer Kesta; Kylo Ren was just telling me the details of your temporary assignment-" The woman was still talking, but Y/n had zoned her out as she stared at the large frame of Kylo Ren; he stared out the transparasteel window that looked over the hangar.How had I not realized his presence before? Why was he here? He never said he'd be here, too; what in the world is happening?- Her panicked thoughts were cut short when Kesta waved her hand in front of her face.
"Hello? Captain? Are you listening?"
"Hm..? Oh, Yes, sorry. Long day" Y/n said with an apologetic smile.
 "Yes...I understand; why don't you come in and give me your report so you can clock out as soon as possible." The older woman held out her arm as she welcomed Y/n into the room. "You can take a seat if you'd like," She offered, but Y/n shook her head, doing her best to ignore the gaze she could feel drilling into the back of her skull.
 "I'd prefer to stand." She said softly; the woman nodded, and Y/n began her report.
Halfway through, she was interrupted by the voice that always sent a shiver down her spine.
"Why are you so curious about this TIE model?" The voice asked; it was closer than she thought it'd be, and in her surprise, she spun around quickly, only to be met with Kylo Ren mere inches away. If she wasn't scared before, she definitely was now.
She swallowed harshly before she answered,
"L-Like I said before, Sir. I was only able to test fly one, and years before, when I worked closely with my father; he used to let me study the new Model TIE. This is currently the only Model I haven't studied." She kept her explanation as short as possible.
"Your Father had to pull a lot of strings to get you this opportunity. What make's you think you deserve it?" He asked; Y/n was practically screaming to leave. This interrogation was becoming a bit much for her liking.
"Because I'm a good engineer, Sir. And I'm also a Pilot. If I can possibly help the first order in making more advanced starfighters in the future, I'd like to do my part." a false sense of confidence flowed through her as she spoke, hoping to mask any anxiety that was trying to seep through her voice.
"Tomorrow, you will show me how to reprogram the flight computer."
"Yes, Sir- Wait...Is something wrong with it? The fight controls were specifically made for you, I assume. Did they mess something up?" Y/n's fear and anxiety were forgotten when her brain started to work out possible scenarios,
"No. I want to see if you can take something apart and put it back together again perfectly as your reputation precedes you." Y/n gawked at him in disbelief. He wanted her to completely erase his specific fight controls and reprogram them to be exactly how it was before. Was he crazy!? She had no idea what his specifications were or how he preferred the distance of the controls. This was a big task with little to no information; He was setting her up to fail.
"With all due respect, Sir. I wouldn't be able to complete that task successfully in an hour."
 A low hum came from the man in front of her. "And why's that?"
Was he stupid? He couldn't be; he was doing this on purpose. He's testing me. She thought. "Because Sir. I have no prior experience with your specific flight controls. I would need at least two hours or maybe even three to become familiar with them, let alone memorize them enough to reprogram them."
 "I see." a tense silence filled the air, Kylo turned away from her and walked back to the window. Y/n looked over her shoulder to see that Kesta was no longer in sight; she must have booked it out of there. Yeah, me too. She admitted, wishing she could do the same.
 "I'll give you the next three days to study my fight controls; on the fifth day, you will reprogram it." He paused as he turned back towards her. "The last two days, you will be free to study the ship as you please without my spectating. But. Only if you reprogram the controls to their original state or there will be consequences. Do you understand?" His voice roared deeply in that dull distorted tone it always had. But somehow, this time was different. It sparked something warm and unfamiliar deep in the pit of her stomach. Was it terror?
Holy Shit. He's actually crazy.
There were a million different possibilities; a lot of programming and engineering goes into customizing flight controls. In the past, all...Or most TIE Starfighters were programmed the same way, so you only really needed to learn how to fly one to fly any version. But the TIE Silencer was customized to its test pilots' specific comfortability with the controls. Y/n's was even programmed when she test flown it. And she's only got three hours in three days.
She inhaled sharply, anxiety striking her like a sword. She dug her nails into her palms as she shut her eyes quickly. This might not seem like much to most people, but to Y/n, it was one of the worst things that could happen in her career. Was studying this dang ship that important? Could she back out now?
"Capitan." the low distorted voice echoed in the room, and Y/n looked up at him. Her eyes were glossed over, and her shoulders were tense. She knew the consequences of what would happen if she somehow failed this assignment; it had all been too good to be true.
"Y-yes, Sir. I understand." Her fists were shaking as she mustered the strength to keep herself calm.
"Good. You are dismissed." Once those words left him, y/n had turned around and went as calmly as possible before rushing back to her room.
Y/n's room was connected to the S.F.'s Lounge, so when she walked in, Miya, Cal, and Killian had all been relaxing from the end of their shifts. Cal and Maya were playing a card game, and Ian was going over field reports on the couch.
"Hey, She's back," Cal said when he noticed the door open, his tone cheerful.
"Oh good, I was getting worried," Miya spoke, standing up to walk over to Y/n.
"No, you weren't," Killian mumbled under his breath; as Miya got closer, Y/n took a step back.
"Hey, Are you alright? Did something happen?" Concern laced her voice which caught the attention of the men.
"N-No. I'm fine, Miya. Just tired. I'd really like to head to bed." she tried stepping around her, but Cal stepped in front of her blocking her path.
"You're not fine. You look like someone just told you your pet died or something." Y/n shook her head at his response.
"It's about Kylo Ren. No one makes her anxious like he does." Killian spoke up from his spot on the couch.
 "Come on, Talk to us like you always do. You always have something to say." Cal tried to encourage her, but she shook her head. She was close to crying when he tilted his head to look into her eyes. That had never happened before; she's always been so strong. This threw him off, guard.
 "Did he hurt you?" Cal asked quickly. Miya looked at him like his head had grown ten sizes.
"Why'd you ask that, Cal?" She asked. Y/n bit her lip as she looked at Cal, begging him with her eyes not to say anything, but he didn't get it.
 "She looks like she's about to cry..." he said softly, looking up at Miya.
 "Y/n/n, What happened? I swear if he put his hands on you-" The taller woman threatened
"No. Guys. It's fine. This assignment just turns out to be my guillotine, and Kylo Ren is my executioner." She spoke softly; the small group looked at her, both confused and concerned.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Ian asked. Y/n sighed and walked over to the couch, plopping down on it and allowing it to take away her stress.
"Kylo Ren has decided to test my intelligence on TIE Fighters."
"Okay?" Miya asked as she pulled a chair from a nearby table, and Cal leaned against the wall.
"You know how TIE Silencers were all programmed to their specific Pilots?" The group nodded, allowing her to continue.
 "Well. He wants me to memorize his specific flight controls, erase them, and reprogram them perfectly to the last detail. I only have three days, which- before you ask, yes. That's technically only three hours. The day after, I will have to reprogram it. If I do it correctly, he will allow me to study the TIE without his spectating for the last two days." Y/n heaved a heavy sigh, relaxing on the couch.
 "What are you so worried about?" Ian asked, turning his head to look at her
 "Yeah, I mean, come on, Y/n. You're probably the only person, minus your father, who knows the most about TIE Fighters. This should be a breeze for you." Cal spoke, pushing himself off the wall and sitting on the floor in front of her.
"I had maybe an hour or less to become familiar with my own specified flight controls, which was one of the most difficult things I've done to date. He expects me to memorize his and then Perfectly replicate it!?" She sat up, fear replaced with irritation and anger. "Do you know what could-Will happen if I manage to get ONE thing wrong!? I'd be killed for sure, Or worse. Fired." She threw her arms up in the air, then crossed them over her chest. "He's absolutely horrible." She hissed out and stood up. "I'm going to bed."
 No one dared to stop her; they knew the weight on her shoulders was heavy; they just wished she wouldn't carry it all on her own.
Stepping into her room, she sighed for the umpteenth time. She walked over to her bathroom mirror. She barely recognized herself; the stress in her eyes was deep, and her shoulders were slumped defeatedly. All this from one day? Ignoring it, she stripped and stepped into the shower, hoping to wash it away.
 As the hot water relaxed her muscles, she recalled how this day had started.
 "Y/n, I'm not sure this is a good idea. I know you've wanted to study this ship, but is it really appropriate to do it on a First Order base?" Her father asked,
"I'm sure it'd be fine; it's not like I'm going to steal it or mess with the controls." She spoke, trying her best to persuade her father.
"Alright. I'll see what I can do. BUT. These people are our best customers. If they say yes, you must obey any rules they may set. You'll be representing not only yourself but also me and my company. Do you understand?" His voice faded out; she could no longer remember the rest of the conversation.
 Too much happened today, she thought as she leaned back against the shower wall.
"Did it count if the rules meant life or death?" She asked herself. After the shower, she changed and lay down on her bed.
She prayed to anyone who was listening that tomorrow would never come.
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jgracie · 12 days
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hi!! i’m just starting my writing account; do you have any tips/tricks for newbies?
helloooo !!!! first of all congrats on starting a writing blog :) it’s SO fun over here ur gonna have a great time trust 🤍 anw these r all from the top of my head sooo yea
MOST IMPORTANT THING: MAKE SURE U ARE IN THE TAGS BEFORE U START POSTING !!!!
i feel like no one ever talks about it but it quite literally makes ur breaks the beginning of ur blog LOL 😭 if this is a new acc you’ve never used ur most probably not in the tags so u have to follow + interact w a lot of stuff ! tumblr j does this to make sure ur a human LOL
if this is an acc you’ve had for a while and u have been using a lot then it’s most probably either u didn’t verify ur email or u have ur blog hidden from searches !! in settings -> visibility make sure u have these turned off :
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in order to check if ur in the tags, post smth random and tag it w literally anything then check the latest section of that tag n if ur post is in there ur in the tags ! if it’s not then ur not 😞 being in the tags is rly impt as a beginner blog since u have no followers to rb ur stuff and get it around yet !
STAY ORGANISED AND CONSISTENT
make sure u have an organised tag system before u start !! make all ur masterlists and rules n all that done before u start posting TRUST ME u will be thanking urself (i’m a second timer on tumblr and i remember the PAIN of making a masterlist later on😭)
link ur masterlist on ur writings as well so ppl can have easy access to it and therefore see more of ur content :)
in the beginning it also helps to be consistent!! when i first started i posted like twice a day but tbh i’m just extra LOL just don’t post and then leave for like a month yk 😣 (unless it’s serious tumblr should NEVER be the priority!!!!!!!)
HAVE REQS OPEN
this one’s really random but i found that it helped a lot w me personally ! i got reqs pretty quickly after making my blog and now the majority of my posts r acc things other people have requested !! i think this helps because u don’t have to think of as many ideas and also cz the people can say what they want so target audience n all that 🗣️
(also it’s just fun to see what they come up with!!!! everyone’s so cool and creative)
INTERACT W PPL!!!!!!!!
i cannot stress this enough!! follow other writers & make friends and have fun w it :) !!! i wouldn’t be here today without my lovely friends on here <3 (SHOUTOUT TO ALL OF U 🤍🤍🤍) honestly this would be SO boring w out them 😣
anyway lmk if u need any more help love u SOOO much !!!!!
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heavenlyheartsclub · 7 months
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SEPTEMBER: A FNAF SELF SHIP FIC
CHAPTER ONE: DO YOU REMEMBER THE 21ST NIGHT OF SEPTEMBER?
“To have ended up here, surely isn’t without purpose.” 
“We have been sent to deliver a message.”
“Oh?”
“We have observed, We have learned. This festering wound, will soon come to ruin.” 
“As it should. It once was promising, but I’ve seen this fate coming ever since that day. Do as you will, if it is destined.”
“We have a proposal.”
“Do you now?” 
“Of Us, They pity this existence. They refuse to leave this place without a chance.” 
“Ha, a chance? It has been given far too many chances. It is the heart of it, a never ending cycle. A preprogrammed system. You are wasting your time. Will you too continue to dig up what has been buried countless times?” 
“You speak truth. This end result would be certain in this system. Yet, is a system not capable of modification? They have created this, a new factor. We ask of you, one more test. One more run. If it too is to fail, We will grant release.” 
“I cannot lie to you, I am just a bit curious. I will grant your request, but please, humor this old soul. What factor could possibly be great enough to offer hope to this sorry body?” 
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP! 
The shrill of Elodie’s phone alarm filled her ears, waking her out of a deep sleep. She groaned, turning it off and checking the time. 7:25 AM, September 21st. She squinted incredulously as she made her way to the bathroom. Was September almost over already? It felt like the year had just begun, yet time passed so quickly. She scrolled absentmindedly as she buttoned up her work shirt. Memes, cute pet pictures, talk of that fire that happened a few months ago, and oh, it was September 21st in that famous song wasn’t it? A video of a skeleton dancing to said song reminded them as it appeared on their timeline. Smiling she pressed play, humming to the melody as she brushed her hair. She tied it into a braid, binding it with a dark blue scrunchy that matched her jeans. They took a moment to try and suppress two cowlicks on either side of their head for the umpteenth time, but they persistently sprung back up. Huffing in frustration, they gave up. Whatever, the “hair horns” won again. No one seemed to mind them anyways, their coworker April even found them cute. 
Elodie shifted to straightening their name tag. On it was the classic writing, “Hello! My name is Elodie.” The name written in a somewhat fancy font, doodles of stars at the end. She smiled, a funny sense of pride in her chest. It was just a name tag, but the ability to customize it made them feel like an individual instead of just another faceless employee. It was one of the many things she loved about working at a family owned business. They moved on to making themselves breakfast, taking a moment to doodle as they ate. She lifted her sketchbook to look at her progress, which consisted of rough sketches of fictional characters, specifically robots. Elodie furrowed her brow. When had she gotten back into robots anyways? 
Right, April. She’s the one that brought up Transformers and got them hooked. Speaking of which…Elodie headed over to the living room to take an old VHS out of the shelf. Turning it over, it read “The Transformers: The Movie.” Popping it open, she could see the name of her coworker written on the tape. “Almost forgot you buddy.” She said, putting it alongside her sketchbook into a backpack. A ping went off on her phone, reminding her it was time to head out. She carried her pack out to her car, tossing it in the passenger’s seat before getting in herself. Turning the ignition key, she headed off. The early morning sky was starting to brighten, sunlight breaking through the treeline surrounding the neighborhood. She rolled down the window, letting the cool air in. She’d usually play music, but something about the serene feeling today called for good old fashioned silence. The suburbs were left behind as the car got into town, the muffled sounds of the now waking world filling her ears. Elodie took in the sights of her home, even though she knew them by heart. No matter how many times she passed them, the warm feeling of a quaint little town never dulled. 
Sundown Arcade, the Trimart gas station, the local library, and the K-12 school on the hill next to Hurkey Woods were just a few staples. Elodie stopped at a crosswalk of the last, watching as a line of children crossed alongside parents and teachers. A man in a pink head bandanna and apron led a little chain of three kids, each one younger than the last. The smallest, a brunette boy with huge shining eyes, took a moment to take his thumb out of his mouth to wave at Elodie. With a giggle she waved back, the man catching the interaction and waving back himself, before continuing to lead the kids to the other side of the road. Driving on, they couldn’t help but think about the interaction that just occurred. That was another thing that they liked, the citizens . Despite not knowing each other well, they were all interconnected. She wondered what each of their daily lives were like. Yet of everything in town, there was one place that Elodie loved most. 
Almost on queue, a large old marquee sign came into view, standing proudly over it’s parking lot. Behind it was the theater, an old building still equipped with retro finishings, adorned in a variety of lights and decals shaped like celestial bodies. In large billboard letters read, “Twilight Theater” complete with a giant prop of a shooting star hanging overhead. Pulling around to the back, she parked in one of the designated staff spots. Elodie approached a back entrance, pushing an emergency fire exit open and into the winding corridors of the theater. Their sneakers were greeted by classic arcade style carpets as they entered, taking in the scent of fresh popcorn in the air. Towards the back of the space was a door labeled “Employee Lounge.” Heading in she input the code for her employee locker, setting her belongings inside. A greeting was said behind her, and she turned to see April. 
“Good morning! How are you doing?”
“Alright, just a bit tired, got to sleep a bit late last night.” April replied with a stretch. “How about you?”
“I’m good! Why’d you have trouble sleeping? Was it Sid again?” 
“Yep, they’ve been having a bit of a hard time with that whole Pizzaplex fiasco that happened, they keep wanting to go back, even though that’s pretty much impossible now.” Sid was April’s little sibling, a cute bright eyed kid with tons of energy and creativity, they had to be only about 6 or 7 now.
“Aw yeah, that was pretty terrible huh? I can’t imagine how many kids must be upset they can’t see the cool animatronics there, I heard they were really life-like. But like, that plaza belonged to a huge company right? I’m sure they’ll rebuild again.”
“Yeah hope so, the bots over there made great babysitters, Sid was always knocked out after their visits. Now that it’s closed, I gotta wrestle that little guy to even try and get them to bed.” 
The two shared a laugh, when Elodie suddenly remembered the tape. “Oh I totally almost forgot! Here.” Slipping the pack off their shoulder and digging into one of the side pockets, Elodie took out the thick plastic case and handed it to April. “Um, thanks for letting me borrow your Transformers Movie VHS. I’ve always wanted to watch it.”
With a smile April took the VHS case, flipping it over to look at the cover. “No problem. Man, I can’t believe you still have a VHS player. The only reason I still have this movie is cause I forgot to sell it back when I moved houses.” 
“I thought it was because it’s Sid’s favorite movie. Y’know, the one where every time they want to watch it, they beg you to go to your aunt’s house since she still has an old TV set up?” 
“Yeah, that too.”  “But unlike Sid, the only reason you wanted to watch it is because of your little crush on Starscream.” 
Elodie stuttered, blushing. “It is not a crush! I just think he’s a very interesting character!” 
“Oh yeah, sure. And that’s why you have to rewind every scene he’s in like 5 times.” 
“Not that much!!”
“So you admit you still do though, huh?”
“I don’t know why I tell you about my interests.” She grumbled, puffing out her cheeks and crossing her arms.
“Aw c’mon, I think it’s cute! Imagine, your boring ordinary life suddenly being changed by the appearance of some robotic Romeo. One who sweeps you up into his strong metallic arms and whisks you off on some sort of high action sci fi adventure, where unexpectedly you fall in love!” April clasped her hands together, batting her eyelashes dramatically.
Elodie rolled their eyes with a smirk. “Anything would be better then spending my days scrubbing vomit off the theater carpets.” The two laughed, but were cut short by their manager Simon popping into the break room.
“Oh hey, glad to see you two, sorry to cut into your chat. April, the slushie machine’s getting low, could you get a fresh tank from the back and refill?”
“Sure.” April patted Elodie’s shoulder, whispering in her ear as she passed by. “See ya later, robot lover.” She snickered, making her coworker’s face flush a light red. 
Simon stepped over to Elodie, brow raised incredulously. “So, you mind me asking what you two were talking about?”
“N-nothing! Oh look the trash hasn’t been taken out yet! Well l better get it, bye!!” She stuttered, hurrying out of the room.
~~~~~~~
Elodie hummed to herself as she swept the entranceway, a small collection of candy wrappers and popcorn piling up. The midday hustle and bustle had started to falter, with only outgoing movie goers passing through. The murmurs of after movie thoughts and muffled film audio had become a comforting white noise, one that offered a small reprieve from the day’s stresses.
Though she knew it was a bit wrong, she would eavesdrop on a conversation once in a while. Despite the first allure of working at a theater, Elodie quickly found it wasn’t quite so exciting. Listening in on the occasional chat helped entertain her. Said chats were pretty normal, friends asking how each other’s day was and talk about media they’d recently seen. Yet today, Elodie found themselves on the tail end of a rather strange one. Next to the bathrooms, two teens were talking in somewhat hushed tones. One in baggy jean shorts and a hoodie leant against the wall, while the other in a beanie and oversized t-shirt fidgeted nervously. The latter leaned in as the other spoke, seemingly transfixed on what they were saying. Elodie found herself craning her neck to hear better. 
“….no way, are you serious?” T-shirt spoke.
“Course I am, why would I lie about that? Besides, I heard it from my brother, it happened to his classmate.” 
“But really? Are you really telling me there’s some kind of monster in Hurkey Woods?” Elodie’s eyes widened, a monster?
“Totally, Alex’s classmate saw it with his own eyes. Y’see, he was out just chilling and having a smoke one night, right? Then he said outta nowhere he hears something above him, in the trees.”
“In the trees??”
“Oh yeah, but that’s not the worst part. Right when he was starting to feel a bit creeped out, he felt like someone was burning holes in the back of his head, super intense. Then all of a sudden, these claws appear from the darkness, and frickin’ put his cigarette out. While it was still in his mouth!” 
“Holy crap..!”
“Yeah, Alex told me the dude was so freaked out he ran away screaming. Honestly though, he sounds like such a crybaby. I woulda clocked that thing in the face.” 
“Yeah right! You would’ve wet yourself just from hearing a twig snap!” 
“Shut it. What about you? You don’t even wanna go in the woods past sunset.”
“That’s cause unlike you, I actually like living. Good luck being minced meat for some freaky forest beast.” As the teens continued to bicker, Elodie was left in thought. 
Was that kid serious? Was there really sightings of some sort of terrifying creature in the woods? In this town? If you looked up the word “uneventful” in the dictionary, their town would probably come up. In her entire time living here she had never heard of anything out of the ordinary. In fact, she had checked  archives for any possible mysteries surrounding the area, but came up empty. 
Excitement bubbled up in her chest, finally something truly interesting was happening in this sleepy little town. They loved their job, their friends, their home, but they had to admit they had been stuck in a rut for a long time. Routine had worn them out, and this was the opportunity to have a little adventure. Coincidentally she had the weekend off, and now she knew just how to spend it. 
~~~~~~~
The evening air was cool, a light breeze drifting through the pine forest. The sun dipping below the horizon. Elodie had taken a well known route from near the school into the woods, one usually traveled on by families. The forest spread from the start of town to the neighborhood, and traveled on a ways before stopping at the next city over. It mostly skirted the edge of town, and you’d have to go in purposefully if you wanted to explore. They realized how counterintuitive it was to try and find something elusive on the safest and most popular trail around, but they would rather be cautious. 
So they continued on, flashlight in hand and stun gun at their side. Some of Elodie’s coworkers thought it overkill to carry a mini weapon when she went out, but considering she was a petite person that had often been mistaken for a middle schooler, she found it more than justified. Worst case scenario, she’d have to shock some creep who was getting a little too friendly. In honesty, that idea filled them with more dread than some chance encounter with a cryptid. She highly doubted she’d find anything out here anyways, the impromptu monster hunt was more of an excuse to take a nice walk through the woods than anything. Besides the possible monster, there was something else out here they were looking for. 
At the sight of a path peaking through the tall grass, excitement ran through Elodie’s chest. They couldn’t help but quicken their pace, pushing into the secret oasis. Illuminated by flashlight was the form of a playground, abandoned and well worn by the elements. Elodie hadn’t been able to visit the place when it was still maintained, but that didn’t matter, she liked it better this way. They immediately climbed up a rock wall on the side of one of the taller structures, wobbling their way across one of those shaky rope bridges to a slide. Stepping up to the platform, they looked over the area. Her own little wonderland, a much needed escape from the dullness of adulthood that gave her the chance to let loose and be childish, the way she wished she could be more openly, more often. After taking in the scenery, they turned their attention to the entrance of a tube slide. With a little chuckle they sat at the entrance, readying themself. 3…2…1…go!
Elodie put her hands above her head as she went down, giggling madly. As she turned a small curve, her fingertips brushed against something. She tumbled forward as she exited, catching herself before she could fall. “What…was that?” It didn’t feel like it was a part of the slide, but more…textured? She climbed back in to investigate. She angled the flashlight inside, tilting her head to to see the object. It looked like a piece of paper wedged into the seams of the tube. There was something on it, but it was hard to tell at the angle in the small space. Grabbing it, she hissed as a small corner tore off before freeing itself. She slid back down, paper in hand, deciding to rest on one of the swings to examine it closer. 
The paper was crumpled and seemingly singed. It looked as if it had been scrawled on in crayon, depicting a colorful setting Elodie couldn’t quite identify. It featured what appeared to be a small girl in a pink dress, smiling happily while she held hands with…something. It was humanoid in shape, adorned in dark blue. She would have assumed it was a parent if not for its strange proportions, a tall and looming figure with arms dangling at its sides. Half of the face was obscured by shadow, but featured prominent red eyes. A far too large smile was etched into the face. She tore her gaze away from the drawing. This whole scenario felt like something out of a cheesy horror movie, it had to be a prank. Yet the nauseous feeling in their stomach persisted, convinced it was very real. Stealing a glance one more time, she noticed a name scribbled over the figure’s head. Squinting, they tried to decipher it. “M….M….O…O…? Moo-?” 
In an instant a force grasped at Elodie’s throat, world blurring as her feet left the ground. The flashlight and paper fell from her hands as she clawed at whatever held her throat, her heart dropping at the sensation of cold almost metallic fingers wrapped around it. Gaze darting up in panic, their eyes met with bright red ones. A crushed scream struggled from their throat as they thrashed violently, the obscured figure tilting its head as if it were a curious dog. Eden felt flakes of rust fall onto their face as the squirmed, realizing they were coming off of the decaying swing set. With a sudden realization, they used the last of their quickly fading strength to throw their legs upward full force, smacking into the top support beam of the decrepit structure. It shook violently, setting the creature off balance for just long enough to loosen its grip. Elodie slipped out of its grasp and tumbled to the ground. Pushing herself forward, she sprinted off into the woods.
With no sense of direction she ran as fast as she could, barely avoiding obstacles on the forest floor. It was all instinct at that point, they were prey to some unknown horror, some predator. A harsh grinding sound and the rustling of foliage followed close behind. Elodie looked up to search for the end of the tree line, but only saw endless woods. Instead she caught a glimpse of something leaping into the air, the large figure silhouetted against the moon for just a moment. It suddenly landed in front of her, clinging to a large oak tree like a lizard. The faint shape of its head turned and turned, more than should be naturally possible, till it was completely upside down. Her heart dropped as she realized she wasn’t able to stop her momentum, running straight towards it. At the last moment she threw all her weight to one side, ducking down and sliding a sharp right, nearly missing the thing attempting to snatch her. She skidded hard but got back into full acceleration, escaping into a more open space. Just about twenty or so feet ahead was a giant dead tree that appeared hollowed out, a knothole entrance conveniently open at the bottom. Their lungs and legs felt like they were on fire and desperately needed rest, they couldn’t go on much longer. 
But for once being tiny was about to pay off. Elodie shoved themself into the narrow entrance, squeezing in so forcefully she popped out the other side, flopping onto something that crinkled loudly under her weight. Looking around, a pit formed in their stomach. They were surrounded by papers, each a children’s drawing like the one she had found earlier. The same etched smile stared at her from all angles, illuminated underneath the moonlight from above. Wait. Above? The light suddenly went out, a large form casting a shadow over her. For a brief second she could see it, crawling in from the top of the hollow tree, before it came crashing down on her with a clang. The weight knocked the wind out of them as it immediately pinned down her arm. A cacophony of garbled noise escaped from the creature, as if i hissing in anger. She tried to dig her nails into it, but found the surface to be hard, only injuring herself in the process. Elodie was running out of options quick, as she felt her throat being squeezed. She could feel her head go fuzzy, fighting to stay conscious.
She wildly grabbed at everything around her as the pressure on her windpipe increased, till she found her grasp around a rectangular object at her side. The stun gun! In their adrenaline high state they had forgotten about the tool, and managed to unlatch it from their belt loop. Taking in what little breath she could through her nose, she screwed her eyes shut and thrust the weapon into the neck of the creature. Immediately the blue and white light of electricity lit up the dark hollow, crackling loudly as it made contact, the sound mixing with unearthly screeches. The smell of smoke filled the air as the monster suddenly went limp, falling into a tangled heap across her legs. Elodie ripped the fingers off of her throat, struggling to get out from under the creature. Once she had pulled the gangly form off of her for long enough to free herself, she scrambled out of the hollow, landing with an exhausted thud. 
They laid there in the opening for what felt like hours, though it had been probably only minutes. Heart beating so hard it felt like it was going to pop out of their chest, their breaths ragged and desperate. Waiting until she felt she had taken in as much air as her lungs would allow, she forced herself into a sitting position. She stared at the knothole she just escaped from, now a few yards away from her, muscles tense and ready to flee at the slightest movement. Yet everything remained eerily quiet, only the sound of their breathing filling the space. They could see the arm of the creature laying limp outside of the hole, a large hand with long fingers curled stiffly, as if dead. They had expected claws, paws, talons. Yet the appendage was clearly a humanoid. What in the world was this thing?
Despite every inch of her body screaming at her to get the HELL out of there, something at the back of her mind tugged desperately. A little voice telling her she had to know what just attacked her. So despite everything, she listened. Standing up on shaky legs she took a few hesitant steps forward, both hands firmly gripped on the stun gun held out in front of her. Inching closer, she could start making out the finer details of the arm. The limb appeared segmented at the finger joints, wrist, and elbow, colored a mix of off white and deep blue. Even closer the “skin” appeared to be cracked. But not in the way it would on a person. The cracks were ridged and random like those in a sidewalk, with one opening up along the upper forearm into a sizable crevice. Peering into it something glint in the moonlight.
All fear suddenly flew out the window, replaced by overwhelming curiosity. Elodie took a nearby stick and prodded at the thing’s arm, to no reaction. She continued to fumble with the crevice on its arm, concluding that the glint had been wires. Certain now that this thing was well, dead might have not been the right word. Unconscious? Broken? She let her guard down, tugging on the hand hard to try and pull the creature out. It took some adjustments, but she managed to do it. It helped that it was surprisingly flexible, squeezing out of the knothole fairly easily once she got the right grip on it. It was still dark out, even with the moonlight, but Elodie could see the rough outline of what it was. It was humanoid in shape, two arms, two legs, and a head like a disk. It smelled of burnt metal and smoke, though they weren’t sure if it was from the stun gun or not. There was one last thing of note on the “monster,” and that was that it was freakishly tall. What they originally assumed as organic in nature, was instead, a machine.
Why was a robot out here stalking the wilderness? If it was actively programmed by someone to do something sinister, then why was it in such disrepair? And even so, they hadn’t heard of any injuries or disappearances, the most they knew of was this thing spooking a teenager. It had only appeared after she took the drawing. Speaking of it, the little girl in it didn’t appear to be scared if the machine. The same could be said for the other children she had gotten a glimpse of in the other drawings. They were all smiling, content and not in the least afraid of the creature, er, robot, next to them. The one she was coming to realize in that moment, had kept these drawings. They had been hidden carefully in safe spots like the inside of the slide and in the hollowed out tree, safe from the elements. They must have meant a lot to it, and some stranger coming in and ripping it out of its safe place (though she didn’t mean to) probably seemed like a threat. 
A new pain tugged at her heart, not fear, but pity. Perhaps she was anthropomorphizing it too much, but all of its actions seemed scarily life like. Maybe it was just attacking to defend itself? To defend the drawings? She shook her head, this was all too overwhelming. Their strength was practically gone and they were beyond tired. All they wanted to do now was go home and sleep for a thousand years. 
But she couldn’t just leave them here, this machine had to belong to someone. It was lost, probably malfunctioning, and definitely worse for wear. If it had broken, then it was going to just sit and rot here, or be picked at for scraps by random people. She shuddered at the thought, as if leaving it here were a death sentence. Suddenly remembering her phone, she searched her pockets to find it there and in tact. There wasn’t any signal out her to call anyone, though she wasn’t sure who she would even call, but her wireless gps still worked. Now that she had known the approximate way home, all that was left was trying to figure out how to get the robot there. 
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dutchforstrangers · 2 years
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I really wanna know more about MBTI and Astrology stuff. I just know I am an INFJ and Capricorn…where should ai start?
Hi Eve (:
Ah yes, good old MBTI and Astrology stuff. First of all, both "personality typing systems" really differ from each other even though there are at least 12 types in both systems (and I could try to give every zodiac sign one of the MBTI-codes, but that's not for today).
Astrology is based on the placing of the planets above our head. If you ask anyone about their zodiac or starsign, they will probably name their so called "Sun Sign", which in your case is Capricorn (another Cap! I'm a Capricorn Sun too!). This is the sign most likely everyone knows and associates themselves with, however, if you look at planets typing your personality, you shouldn't be just looking at your Sun Sign.
You could look at your full natal chart, which basically tells you how all the planets are placed above your head at the day, place and time you were born, however, looking at your "Big Three" already tells you a lot! Your Big Three consists of your Sun Sign, your Rising Sign (this is the sign that was on the Eastern Horizon when you were born) and your Moon Sign. Quick explanation:
Sun sign = Identity, who you are from the inside
Rising sign = How others see you, who you look like on the outside
Moon sign = How you emotionally react and make decisions
Of course it's not hard science and it's all very debatable, but it's fun to analyse yourself or even others or characters through this little system! This actually makes me see how bad I have to finish my Digimon Astrology posts someday soon.
If you want more information on how it all works regarding Astrology and like you say in your ask wanna know where to begin, please go to these posts of mine about astrology! I've written three introduction posts and you'll find some interesting and handy information and links to other sites in there (:
As for MBTI... I can talk about this for a while to be honest. I love MBTI, but I also hate it at the same time? It's because I often think people look at it from only the MBTI-perspective and not from the perspective it's actually coming from: psychiatrist and psychologist Carl Gustav Jung and his "cognitive functions system".
I actually wrote about his work in my bachelor thesis. I'm more fond of the cognitive functions, though finding out your MBTI through a simple test, is a great way to start. Actually, I think I might write a full post on MBTI and Jung's cognitive functions in the upcoming weeks and I'll make sure to tag you (fyi, I already typed the DigiDestined with this system, though I haven't published it yet).
Anyway, here are two interesting test that are great to start with when you're new to MBTI and Jung.
16personalities test. I think this might be the most well known MBTI test? It has really nice descriptions of the 16 personalities!
Keys2cognition test. Veeeeeeery elaborate questions and you really have to take your time and reflect on yourself, but it's worth it. I actually used this list for my thesis.
Hope this is helpful! Thanks for the ask <3 I'll make sure tag you once I wrote the MBTI/cognitive functions post (:
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benson11benson · 2 years
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barbeemclaughlin3 · 2 years
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reidjumpers · 3 years
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Here Comes the Sun: Dumplings
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Spencer Reid x Reader
Warning: mentions of food, some curse words, domestic bliss, Spencer being a little anxious
Series Summary: a journey of going through parenthood with Spencer Reid
Chapter Summary: When Spencer woke up to you making dumplings in the dining table, he knew he was in trouble.
Note: welcome to the first chapter of dad!Spencer series! For those who have faint heart, fear not, because I am not mean and I write this so we can all have serotonin boost together. Enjoy!
prologue, next chapter, series masterlist.
Nobody in their right mind would ever call Spencer Reid a fool. He might have encountered people that underestimate him or didn’t think he was as smart, yes, but no one would ever call him a fool. Not even when Emily joked about his IQ getting slashed into 60 in the presence of a beautiful woman. He had to silently agree with that statement. How could he not? In front of him was a very beautiful woman that he had the luxury to call her his wife. His beautiful, gorgeous, very understanding, intelligent wife.
But right now he definitely felt like a goddamn fool.
When Spencer woke up to an empty bed and the apartment smelled distinctively sweet like the bakery, he thought he was waking up on a really good day. But when he walked out the bedroom and spotted you sitting at the dining table calmly, a hum of songs from the speaker played in the background, and a stack of dumpling skin placed on the table, he knew he was in the doghouse.
It was common knowledge that whenever you’re stressed or upset upon something or someone, when life seemingly wants to fucks you over and over, you’d channel it through baked sweets or as strange as it sounds, dumplings. He never knew witnessing you silently make dumplings on the dining table with freshly baked cookies on the counter would be such a terrifying and worrisome sight to see.
Spencer stood silently in the doorway, rocking on his heels forward and backwards. He was quiet and careful not to burst the bubble of your own world. His mind started to run a few scenarios inside his head over and over, trying to walk through every minute by minute of every event in his life that had led him into today.
“Hey,” he greeted you after two solid minutes of thinking and couldn’t come up with any answer. His voice was gentle to not startle you as he pulled a chair across yours.
“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” you teased. It was 11:15 AM, you were most definitely saying that just to tease him.
Spencer rolled his eyes at your jab, silently reached for the dumpling skin in front of him and started to fill it with the filling. He had done this thousands of times over to know the right way to make dumplings. Your first few dates with him consisted of homemade dumplings and sipping wine. He was honored when you showed him how to make dumplings the way your grandmother did it, grinning as you said it’s a family secret and he promised to keep it as one.
“Are we having a guest?” Spencer asked as he put his own dumpling carefully into the designated plate. His dumpling would never be as good as yours no matter how much he tried, but he was proud that it was passable enough to your standard.
“No?” you furrowed your eyebrows, glancing up from your own dumpling. “Why?”
“You make more dumplings than usual,” he pointed out.
“Oh,” your voice was soft, barely audible, and he nearly missed it. “Didn’t realize that.”
Spencer nodded, reaching for another dumpling skin to soothe his worry away. Study has shown that repetitive action proven to soothe anxiety and increase focus. He could recite the study in his sleep, forward and backwards without stuttering. But the damned repetitive action of making dumplings didn’t work for him right now.
He cleared his throat. It is now and never. He would have to kiss his husband of the year trophy goodbye if he couldn’t figure out for his life what makes his wife this upset. “Hon?” he called for your attention.
You let out a hum of acknowledgement, eyes didn’t leave your dumpling for a second. It made the corner of his lips twisted downwards.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” he asked gently, mindful not pressing you into telling him things. He knew you would never keep things away from him. You would tell him eventually, but he needed to hear it.
You, however, just scrunched your nose adorably in confusion. “Talk about what?”
“You bake cookies and make dumplings, and it’s just…” he craned his neck to take a glance towards the hanging clock above the cabinet. “It’s not even twelve yet.”
You blinked at his statement. “I’m hungry.”
“You do stress bake,” he patiently pointed out. Placing his yet another passable looking dumpling into the designated plate, he let out a sigh. “You also make dumplings when you’re stressed or upset. And now you do both first thing in the morning.”
“You know me so well, huh? You should marry me if you know me so well.”
“Already did, nine months ago,” Spencer rolled his eyes at your humor, but a smile graced his lips. “So, do you want to talk about it?”
You blinked at him again, nose scrunched up in confusion at his question. Spencer could feel silence slowly settling in, filling the gaps between you and him. His mind started to make a list of things that you like, making mental notes to make a short trip to a grocery store to pick up your favorite ice cream and take a reroute towards the flower shop he saw a week ago and picked up a bouquet of roses.
He was in the middle of mentally reciting his apology for fucking up when he heard you burst into a laughter. It took him a moment to register that the sound of you cackling so hard was not a mere figment of his imagination. He saw you laughing so hard, head thrown backwards overwhelming the small dining room.
“I’m sorry,” you hiccupped, wiping away tears from your eyes with your sleeve. Spencer would’ve smiled at the sight if he weren’t so puzzled. “Babe, are you really thinking I’m mad at you because I bake cookies and make dumplings?”
Spencer sputtered, “How could I not!” he huffed, throwing his hands into the air dramatically as you laugh upon his misery. “I was so worried! You always either bake or make dumplings when you’re upset, but never both! And now you do both and you keep dodging my question.”
“I didn’t mean to!” you said defensively between your laughter. You cleared your throat, not wanting to make the pout on Spencer’s lips even more prominent. “I guess my brain really associated cookies and dumplings as something comforting. I crave for some comfort food, and my brain just screams, ‘cookies and dumplings!’ I didn’t mean to make you worried, I’m sorry.”
“This much? You’re really hungry, huh?”
“Pretty hungry since I’m eating for two now.”
Spencer froze on his spot, his hand stopped midair before he was able to reach for another dumpling skin. He blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. “W-what?”
You just smiled cheekily at him. You got up from your seat and walked towards the kitchen, leaving him alone flabbergasted at your statement. You came back a minute later, a wide smile at your face and your hand tucked behind your back.
“Ta-da!” you cheerfully said, placing baby shoes on the table in front of him. Spencer let out a soft gasp, cooed at the sight of how tiny the shoes are.
“Are you…? Are we…?”
“Pregnant,” you finished his sentence for him with a wide grin. “I found out during our case in LA and I was meaning to tell you earlier, I swear! But the case got a little crazy and we’re whisked away into doing a lot of things at once.”
Spencer let out a shaky breath, staring into the baby shoes with eyes full of awe. The news still felt unreal for him, artificial, but the warmth blooming on his chest that slowly spreading through his system left him fuzzy. A small reminder that it was as real as he wanted to be.
You probably have mistaken his silence for something else as you shifted your weight from one foot to another. You started to fidget with the hem of your shirt, eyes not meeting his. “I know we agree to wait for a year, but–”
Spencer practically leaped from his seat and scooped you into his arms. His smile was so wide that his cheeks started to hurt. You let out a small yelp as he spun you around before he placed a tender kiss on your lips. “I love you,” he said between your kisses, grinning as he stole a few more small kisses.
You giggled between his kisses, your hand flew into his face and patted his cheeks as he assaulted your face with his lips. “I love you too, you big goof.”
“A baby, huh?” Spencer let out a happy sigh after he spared your life from his kisses. His hand nestled on your waist, gently swaying you in his arms. “We’ve got to start baby proofing the whole place, make sure there are no sharp edges,” he rambled.
“Spencer–”
“I’ll go to the bookstore and pick up some book about baby names! Do you think Jason is a good name?”
“I think–”
“Oh, we should start shopping for some clothes and socks too. Make sure they’re warm–”
“Spencer!” you interrupted his rambling with your hands squishing his face. You smiled at him as he blinked his eyes towards you slowly, a little fazed that you broke his train of thought. “I love all the planning ideas, but right now let’s just focus on making dumplings and feed three of us, okay?”
“Okay,” he breathed out, slowly collapsing into his seat again. “Okay. Dumplings…” he muttered to himself, grabbing the dumpling skin in front of him. “But seriously, what do you think about the name Jason?”
“It’s a lovely name.”
“Oh, common ground. I like that.”
====================================
Series tag list:
@measure-in-pain @wooya1224 @reidemandweep @manuosorioh
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makeste · 3 years
Text
BnHA Chapter 290: It’s Touya Time
Previously on BnHA: Iida and Hadou showed up like a couple of Pennsylvanias and Georgias to bail Shouto out at the last minute. Ochako and Toga had an exceptionally strange fight which consisted of Toga being all “guess what Ochako, I used your quirk to murder someone, how do you feel about that”, and Ochako being all “I do not like that”, to which Toga was all “:(”. There was some doll-stealing and some bookcase-yeeting, and then Toga left in tears because Ochako was all adamant that murder has consequences. Anyway so I have absolutely no idea what Toga is thinking now, but I guess we’ll have some time to stew on it, because we ended the chapter by cutting back to the Iida+Hadou+Shouto VS Afomura battle, which was interrupted by Gigantomachia and the LoV showing up like a bunch of Floridas to ruin everyone’s nice day.
Today on BnHA: Horikoshi hands the mic over to Dabi and is all “take it away, kid.” Over in Room 315 of Musutafu General, Rei is all “may I please watch some TV” and the hospital staff is all “sure”, and so she tunes in just in time to catch Todoroki Touya’s Peabody Award-winning documentary “Number One Hero, Number One Fraud: The Todoroki Enji Story”, which is being broadcast nationwide courtesy of Skeptic and his magic laptop. Meanwhile in Jakku, Dabi is all “I’M TOUYA, BITCHES”, and Shouto and Enji are all, “(゜◇゜ )”, and Dabi is all, “anyway so just to sum it all up, because of how much of a jerk Endeavor was, I am now Evil.” Everyone continues to be all “(゚o゚)” except for Dabi, who is all “└(˘▾˘┌ )≡ ( ┐˘▾˘)┘≡┗( ˘▾˘)┛≡┏( ˘▾˘)┓≡┗( ˘▾˘)┛” for pretty much the rest of the chapter. Idk. Just let the man have his fun, guys. He’s waited a long time for this.
y’all I have a confession to make. I am technically not spoiled for this chapter thanks to my robustly paranoid system of spoiler-tag-filtering, which is extensive enough that it pretty much will catch whenever someone so much as breathes something even remotely new-chapter-related. that being said, I like to think that I am capable of making basic logical inferences! and so the fact that for the past 36 hours, my dashboard has pretty much nonstop consisted almost entirely of this...
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...has led me to conclude that MAYBE, POSSIBLY, PROBABLY, BUT ALSO DEFINITELY, a certain someone is finally going to reveal his ~secret identity~ woop woop. lmao
anyway so everyone, please remember to act surprised though, as we would not want Dabi’s feelings to be hurt at all. he has been planning this moment for the last decade or so and I wouldn’t want him to feel like all of that effort was for naught. so just play along, okay. OH MY, IF IT ISN’T THE LEAGUE OF VILLAINS’ MYSTERIOUS DABI. WHATEVER COULD HIS ARRIVAL POSSIBLY BE HERALDING, I JUST DON’T KNOW
“Dabi’s Dance” lmao. I’m sticking with Touya Time myself. ngl I had this recap title planned out for at least the past year or so. just waiting for that day to finally come
anyway so some people in some building somewhere are all “TURN OFF THE TV IN ROOM 315” and idk. I’m guessing the LoV is hacking the airwaves to livestream the reveal, as predicted
-- oh shit. UHHHHHHHH
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did she always have this TV or did she get it just recently?? jfc of all the times for the hospital staff to finally loosen up
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um... so that’s... (・_・;)
well but I mean, she was gonna find out one way or the other at some point though. like you can’t really just keep her locked up and isolated from all news of the outside world forever and ever and ever. granted, this isn’t exactly the ideal way for her to learn this particular bit of information, but it’s not really ideal for anybody else either! EXCEPT DABI, THAT IS. have yourself a day you funky little terrorist
oh shit what is this?? it’s not live???
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over in Jakku, a red-faced, sputtering Dabi makes a frantic grab for Skeptic’s laptop. “WAIT, NO, JESUS, NOT THAT TAPE!”
lol. but seriously Dabi are you even wearing a shirt. like I’m not one to slutshame anyone bro, but it’s just, exactly what type of mood were you looking to set here??
anyway so we really are cutting back to Jakku now, and Gigantomachia is all, “MASTERS”! which, I wonder if he really did use the plural? that’s right Machia, both of them in one place now! that sure is convenient for you huh
lol what is this with all this AFO monologuing. you’re really gonna make me read through this when I’m sitting here all sleep-deprived from election week. JUST GET TO THE TOUYAS. WE WERE PROMISED TOUYAS!!
sigh
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“tee hee it’s fucking hilarious how goddamn powerful I am now lol”
alas, in spite of myself I do have two serious takeaways from this. one is that AFO is still controlling most of Tomura’s body behind the scenes, which both does and doesn’t bode well for Tomura (like, at least he’s not dying, but the long-term implications of this for his free will and such certainly are not Good). and two is that this confirms that Ujiko did give Tomura at least one powerful mutant quirk, which explains why he was still so deadly and indestructible even when Aizawa was using Erasure on him (since Erasure doesn’t work on mutant quirks, just emitter and transformation ones)
MEANWHILE ON TODAY’S EPISODE OF “TODOROKI SHOUTO’S TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD LIFE”
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I like how he doesn’t actually say that he can’t take on Gigantomachia. just that he can’t take on him and Afomura at the same time. that’s confidence, baby. that right there is why you always draft Todoroki Shouto in the first round for your fantasy team
HADOU!!!!
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OOOH, TOMURA’S ALL “MAN, THIS GIRL’S WAVE POWERS AND THIS KID’S ICE POWERS ARE A SUPER-STRONG COMBO DAGNABBIT.” YESSS I LIKE THAT, TELL ME MORE ABOUT HOW COOL AND POWERFUL THEY ARE
HOT DAMN LOOK AT THAT
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um but not to take away from this exceptionally cool moment or anything, but why is Endeavor dying and shouting “RUN” down there in the corner um
oh
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excuse me. not to take away from How Bad This All Is, but!!
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just a little, smol, IidaBaku for everyone. Iida, who apparently doesn’t know a damn thing about first aid and is all, “hmm that’s a pretty bad-looking puncture wound he has in his left shoulder there, I think I’ll just let his arm dangle freely like that and I won’t bother taking off his heavy gauntlets either. I mean. he’ll be fine, probably.” smh. at least Shouto probably cauterized the wounds
EXCUSE ME WHAT
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TIME FOR MORE OF THAT GOOD OLD FASHIONED SHOUNEN RIDICULOUSNESS I GUESS LMAO. KACCHAN YOU HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR TORSO. THERE IS A HOLE IN YOUR TORSO, AND YOU LOST LIKE FOUR GALLONS OF BLOOD, BUT SURE. “PUT ME DOWN” HE SAYS. FIRST OF ALL, PUTTING ASIDE THE FACT THAT YOU ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT BE CONSCIOUS, THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN GOING TO DO, LIE DOWN AT THEM?? LISTEN, YOU SWEET IDIOT. TAKE HEED, BELOVED DUMBASS!!
ah well. I guess he gets to watch the Touya Show now too then lol
LMAOOOO now Machia’s lifting Tomura carefully in his palm like a broken action figure and Spinner is all “THE FUCK, YOU LOOK LIKE DEATH WARMED OVER”
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“oh hey there Spinner. well let’s see, I woke up from my three-month coma and destroyed a city, had my body incinerated, and am currently being possessed by a diabolically evil potato. but please, tell me more about everything you've been through”
AW YISS AND THE FOCUS NOW SHIFTS TO THE TODOROKIS. EVERYTHING IS PROCEEDING EXACTLY AS WE HAVE FORESEEN
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Endeavor my dude. it’s as if you want to die here. also holy shit, that bit about his lungs definitely does not bode well for him either
MOTHERFUCKER
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GO AHEAD AND SIGN YOUR OWN DEATH CERTIFICATE, WHY DON’T YOU!! FLAGS UPON FLAGS. JESUS CHRIST
meanwhile Dabi’s just waving at ‘em
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lmaoooo please oh please Caleb please keep this ‘EYYYYYYY’, it’s fucking perfect kdlshk;hg
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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(ETA: so as you will see very shortly, I completely missed this detail in my first read-through because I was so anxious to get to the reveal page, but THIS MOTHERFUCKER LITERALLY DOUSED HIMSELF WITH INSTANT HAIR DYE REMOVER THAT HE’S JUST BEEN CARRYING AROUND IN A LITTLE HIP POUCH APPRENTLY SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME. MOTHERFUCKER. I HAVE NO WORDS.)
IS THIS THE TIME. IS THIS THE MOMENT?! HERE IT COMES SLKFHS BRACE YERSELVES LADS
EYYYYYYYYYYYY
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OKAY EVERYONE JUST LIKE WE PRACTICED!! SURPRISED FACES ON THREE! ONE... TWO... (•̪ o •̪) !! okay how was that
LMAO ENDEAVOR
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at least Shouto looks properly stunned. Enji just looks like endeavor.exe just straight up stopped working
meanwhile Deku’s out here trying to do the math on this latest surprise family reveal! first Tomura is related to Nana, and now this. what’s next. who are you related to, Spinner. he rips off his boots to reveal engine legs and declares himself Iida’s long-lost uncle
oh shit Touya
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it’s as if a million fanworks suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly jossed. who knew that all this time he was secretly sporting a crop top scar
also, THIRTY?! holy shit son you been busy
la la la two-page spread of Touya casually driving the dagger into Endeavor’s hero career and rocking the foundations of hero society as we know it la la la
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la la la!!!
OH IS THAT THE END OF THE STORY THEN
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almost got confused for a sec. there’s two monologues happening at once here. Endeavor doesn’t even know that his dirty laundry is being aired out nation-wide as we speak ffffff
btw while I appreciate the close-ups of Enji and Shouto here for sure, ngl I would also really love to see everyone else’s reactions right now. SHOW ME BAKUGOU AND THE LOV YOU COWARDS
is his hair actually turning white all of a sudden?? your hair dye just reacts on command??
(ETA: in all seriousness though, the hell kind of hair dye was he using? all he has to do is pour a bottle of that stuff and not even lather it in and it’s just gone just like that?? what the fuck would have have done if it ever rained lmao.
and this motherfucker just goes and leaves the dye remover in afterwards, too. I have never dyed my hair in my life and even I can tell you that’s probably not a good idea, Dabi.)
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is this it. is this the legendary Dabi Dance in action. lmfao
oh hey what the fuck
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so you figured you’d just murder your innocent younger brother to get revenge on dad, huh. well that’s nice
is that really all there is to the origin story though?? feels like we’re still missing a huge chunk of it. what was it that finally sent him over the edge? or was the trauma of being created as Endeavor’s perfect little hero tool and then being subsequently rejected by him enough on its own? because I’m still kind of confused on the part where he goes from “abused and discarded by his father” to “killed thirty people and was plotting the murder of his own brother” to tell you the truth
(ETA: lmao the initial fandom reaction to this did not disappoint. listen guys. people can be traumatized and shaped by awful circumstances that are completely out of their control, and grow up to be people they wouldn’t have grown up to be if things had been better, and all of that absolutely sucks, but. it doesn’t mean they get a get-out-of-jail-free card for all of their future actions, either! the tragedy of this situation is that terrible things happened to Touya, and he then went on to do terrible things himself. the tragedy of it is that this is exactly how the cycle of abuse keeps repeating itself on and on and on. maybe one of the people Dabi killed had a child who will now grow up traumatized themselves, and potentially go on to pay it forward themselves when they grow up. the tragedy is that the eye-for-an-eye justice that Touya is seeking out won’t actually make anything better in the end. the tragedy is that we understand why Touya is so angry, but that anger has basically warped him into the gleefully sadistic dancing figure we see in this chapter who has stopped caring about anyone else’s pain or suffering and just wants his own revenge.
anyway. basically what I’m trying to say is that it’s possible for the concepts of “Todoroki Touya was an innocent child and a victim of abuse” and “Dabi is a grown-ass motherfucking adult who killed thirty people and PROBABLY NEEDS TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THAT” to coexist lol. like, y’all wanted your moral grey, well HERE YOU GO lmao, eat up.)
lol but LOOK AT THAT BOY DANCE HIS LITTLE HEART OUT though
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Todoroki Touya confirmed not a fan of the Endeavor redemption arc huh. well we all saw this coming lols
anyways here’s a sexy Touya for y’all
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you really are the most theatrical bitch I s2g lmao
also for real though, what is happening with his hair? anime team in shambles here. they’re probably just gonna double down and keep it red. too bad though cuz this is a surprisingly good look on him
SO MANY CLOSE-UPS OF THE TODOROKI FACES
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friendly reminder that Dabi without a doubt REHEARSED this speech like a thousand fucking times. LET US FALL TOGETHER!! COME DANCE WITH YOUR SON IN HELL. apparently if you fake your own death in middle school you will never mentally age past that point and will remain a permanent chuuni
OH LMAO THAT’S THE END
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we really just gonna end on “DANCE WITH YOUR SON IN HELL”, huh. very well then. you know what song to play, Horikoshi. one, two... YOU ARE MY DAD. YOU’RE MY DAD!! BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE
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causeiwanttoandican · 3 years
Text
The Times
Prince William’s close friends on what makes him tick — and why he’s not trapped
March 20 2021, 6:00pm
As the world devours the Harry and Meghan interview, what’s going on with the brother who was left behind? He’s embracing his destiny, William’s close friends tell the Sunday Times royal correspondent, Roya Nikkhah
Next month Prince William will celebrate his tenth wedding anniversary — the day he became a duke and embarked on the most formative decade of his life. Back then, the tentative 28-year-old newlywed was not ready to devote himself entirely to royal duties. A decade on, he is in a very different position.
The job of being the heir to the heir to the throne, of finding a balance between life and duty, is difficult at the best of times. These are not the best of times. In their bombshell interview with Oprah Winfrey this month the Duke and Duchess of Sussex accused the royal family and the institution around it of racism and callous disregard for a suicidal newcomer, among many other damning charges. Harry the spare also declared that William was trapped within “the system … My brother can’t leave that system, but I have.”
In the immediate aftermath of the interview William was “reeling”, a source close to the duke says. “His head is all over the place on it.” Four days after the Sussexes had their say, he hit back during an engagement with the Duchess of Cambridge at a school in east London. Asked about accusations of racism, William retorted with restrained fury: “We’re very much not a racist family.” He also confirmed that he hadn’t spoken to Harry yet, “but will do”. By the weekend it emerged they had “been in contact”.
William is thought to have been less than thrilled a few days later when that conversation made global headlines after the American presenter Gayle King, a close friend of the Sussexes, revealed live on air that it had not been an easy chat: “I did actually call them to see how they were feeling,” she told viewers. “Harry has talked to his brother and he had talked to his father too. The word I was given was that those conversations were not productive.” The intervention prompted a senior royal source to say that “none of the households will be giving a running commentary on private conversations”.
A close friend of both brothers says Harry’s “trapped” comment was “way off the mark”, insisting that William does not see it that way. “He has a path set for him and he’s completely accepting of his role. He is very much his grandmother’s grandson in that respect of duty and service.”
When the Queen turned 90 nearly five years ago William admitted “the challenge” that “occupies a lot of thinking space” is how to “modernise and develop” the royal family, and make it “relevant in the next 20 years’ time”. Twenty years now seems like a very long time. In the hours and days after the Oprah broadcast, William was at the heart of all discussions with the Queen and the Prince of Wales about how to respond to the Sussexes. He was keen that the issue of race should be acknowledged in the Queen’s statement as an area of particular concern that “will be addressed”.
William has always railed against being a “ribbon-cutter royal” and the issues he champions — mental health, battling racism in football, homelessness and his ramped-up eco-warrior role — are a window into where the future King William V will take the House of Windsor. A friend says: “He’s a small-c conservative. He values tradition and the need to go around the country, but he realises he can make a difference beyond traditional royal duties.”
Today royal popularity is, to put it mildly, in a state of flux, but William’s strategy has been working. Post-Oprah, he ranks just below the Queen at the top of a YouGov poll of royals. Not so long ago such a position looked like a long shot, when the “workshy Wills” and “reluctant royal” tags plagued him and he was clocking up fewer days of royal work than his nonagenarian grandparents. Pictures of him hitting the ski slopes and clubs of Swiss resort Verbier in March 2017, missing a Commonwealth service that even the Duke of York flew back for, didn’t help.
After the lasting PR gold dust of the Cambridges’ 2011 wedding and the births of Prince George and Princess Charlotte, it was the first public nosedive for William, who was still working as an air ambulance pilot. “That pissed him off,” a friend says. “He was leaving home at 5.30am, getting home after dark and saving lives in between, but people were still being critical of his commitment to his [other] job.” William was based at Cambridge airport with East Anglian Air Ambulance for two years, where he was on call for “some very sad, dark moments”, often working “on very traumatic jobs involving children”. He later acknowledged that “after I had my own children … the relation between the job and the personal life was what really took me over the edge, and I started feeling things that I have never felt before”. But it was a job he loved, because of “working in a team … that’s something that my other job doesn’t necessarily do. You are more out there on your own.”
A former royal aide says: “Immediately after their wedding he had a very clear idea of the pace at which he wanted to take things.” William was adamant he wouldn’t curtail his day jobs, first as an RAF search and rescue helicopter pilot in Anglesey and then with the air ambulance. “If you’re not careful, duty can weigh you down an awful lot at an early age,” he said, insisting he didn’t “lie awake waiting or hoping” to be king. He delayed full-time royal duties until the autumn of 2017, when, acknowledging the Cambridges’ future required more time at “monarchy HQ”, they moved from Norfolk to London and George started school.
He’d had to fight his corner for the air ambulance role. A source close to William reveals “there were lots of raised eyebrows in the Palace when he wanted to do that. While the Queen and his father backed him, some senior courtiers questioned whether it was becoming of a future king to be doing a middle-class role, hanging out with ordinary people. They thought he wouldn’t stick it out, he’d find it boring, or was doing it out of stubbornness to put off royal duties. He was pretty bloody-minded about it, and determined that other people’s expectations in the media or the system shouldn’t get in the way of his own values.” In the wake of Harry and Meghan’s interview much has been speculated about the extent to which royal life is dictated by Palace officials, but it is clear that William has managed to forge his own path. Who knows how high those senior courtiers’ eyebrows rose in 2019, when William spent three weeks shadowing the spooks of MI5, MI6 and GCHQ to learn how they combat terrorism. He insisted on being called “Will” and lunching in the canteen every day.
Those closest to the duke say his resistance to the idea of full-time royal duties stemmed not only from a desire to achieve something for himself but also from a fear of the impact on his family life. Miguel Head worked alongside the prince for ten years until 2018, as William, Kate and Harry’s communications secretary and later as William’s private secretary. “In his role everyone’s going to tell you you’re marvellous,” Head says. “The RAF and air ambulance jobs were about knowing what his abilities were, what he was good at in his own right. Without that he’d still be hankering for something that was his own.” After children came along he says William developed a “visceral determination to give them a life of consistency and privacy that were missing for large parts of his own childhood”.
Another close aide says the plan enabling the Cambridges to have a few years of “normal” married life, away from the full-time glare of the royal spotlight, paid dividends: “For years, the battles around privacy and paparazzi intrusion were all-consuming. He wanted to know, could we build them a credible plan allowing them a family life while slowly increasing the profile of official life? It took years to get there, but the success of that plan allowed him to be confident and content in his role. He’s not worried about his kids’ privacy any more and he has been able to be the kind of dad he wants to be.”
“Marriage maketh the man,” a friend says. “Catherine’s groundedness has been the critical anchor. And where his relationship with the media was once all fury and frustration, he now understands using the power of modern media, so the public feel they’re getting enough access.”
The children’s birthdays are marked with photographs — often taken by the Duchess of Cambridge — and there has been a noticeable increase in their public appearances of late. While not “officially” staged, William was happy to let George and Charlotte be photographed at their first Aston Villa match with Mum and Dad in 2019. Pandemic set pieces have shown the family clapping for the NHS on the steps of Anmer Hall, their Norfolk home, and, before Christmas, their first red-carpet appearance together for an evening at the panto with key workers and their children.
As they celebrate their anniversary on April 29, friends who joined the Cambridges on their wedding day tell me the partnership’s equal footing is key to its success. “They’ve got a solid relationship and she gives him confidence,” one says. “There is no jealousy, no friction, they are happy for each other’s successes.” In private William talks as passionately about Kate’s work as his own campaigns, and takes pride in her growing confidence on the public stage.
William has said his grandmother’s approach to being head of state is to take “more of a passive role. She’s above politics and is very much away from it.” He doesn’t plan to meddle in party politics, but he was not happy about the unenviable position the government put the Queen in with the 2019 proroguing of parliament, which was later ruled to be unlawful and forced an apology from Boris Johnson to the monarch. Constitutionally the Queen had no alternative other than to act on the advice of her government, but in William’s reign there will be “more private, robust challenging of advice”. His last three private secretaries — Christian Jones, Simon Case, now the cabinet secretary, and Head — had all worked in government departments, helping William to keep his finger on the political pulse. The new incumbent, the Whitehall heavyweight Jean-Christophe Gray, who served as David Cameron’s spokesman, continues in that vein.
The former Conservative leader Lord Hague of Richmond was last year appointed as chairman of the Royal Foundation to develop William’s work on mental health, the environment and a raft of new support programmes for key workers. “People internationally and nationally respect his credibility and knowledge on these issues,” Hague says. “He’s very persuasive. You only see that behind the scenes. He knows what he wants and he goes out to get it.”
Charlie Mayhew, chief executive of the conservation charity Tusk, has known William since he was 20. In 2005 Tusk and Centrepoint, the homelessness charity championed by Princess Diana, were the first patronages William took on. “In those early years I kept having to pinch myself to remember how young he was,” Mayhew says. “He was much more mature than his age and very aware of his destiny coming down the track. He had a sincerity, but never without wicked humour. His teasing is merciless.”
William knows some people see his passion for conservation as a posh man’s part-time hobby, but Mayhew says the duke’s “genuine and huge knowledge” undermines that view. “He’ll call and WhatsApp to flag up something that I haven’t even seen in the conservation space. He can be impatient to get things done.” Last year William launched the Earthshot prize, a £50 million Nobel-style environmental award to galvanise solutions to global problems over the next decade. He believes “conservation and the environment … shouldn’t be a luxury, it’s a necessity”, Mayhew says. “That’s the drum he wants to beat. He’s got a megaphone and wants to use it in the most constructive way. He speaks for that next generation and I think they can relate to it.”
A turning point for William was his 2015 official visit to China, one of the world’s largest consumers of ivory, where he met President Xi and condemned the illegal wildlife trade as a “vicious form of criminality”. Unlike his father, who has refused to visit the People’s Republic over its human rights record and treatment of Tibet, William’s view was that despite the UK’s fractious relationship with China, “we’ve got to engage”.
“It was very political, raising the illegal wildlife trade in China. I’m sure the diplomats were having all sort of nightmares in advance,” says Mayhew, who joined the duke in China. “But he was gathering greater confidence that he had the ability to be a mouthpiece for the issue.” Mayhew reveals that while William was visiting Japan before China, he still hadn’t secured a meeting with Xi. “But when the Chinese saw all the high-level meetings he was having in Japan, they changed their minds and Xi made time for him.” Later that year, as Xi began a UK state visit, William appeared on Chinese television condemning the ivory trade. Two years later China banned the trade.
In 2018 he spent months prepping for his most high-stakes overseas visit yet, to Israel and the occupied Palestinian territories that summer. Navigating the diplomatic tightrope walk between Jerusalem and the West Bank, he visited a Palestinian refugee camp in Ramallah. As he travelled back to Jerusalem, he changed his speech for a reception with young Israelis and Palestinians to strengthen his solidarity with the latter: “My message tonight is that you have not been forgotten … The United Kingdom stands with you.” It was a bold move, but both sides hailed his visit a success and the officials breathed a sigh of relief. To the delight of the travelling press pack, William’s engagements on the final day were brought forward, allowing the diplomat duke and president of the Football Association to land back in the UK in time to watch England’s World Cup tie.
Ask him if he’s a peacemaker and William will laugh, saying Kate is the mediator. But according to a source close to William and Harry, his bridge-building skills were deployed in the lead-up to Harry and Meghan’s wedding in 2018, when tensions in the Kensington Palace household, then still shared by the brothers, were running high: “Every time there was a drama, or a member of staff on the verge of quitting, William would personally try and sort it out.”
As the brothers clashed more over the substance and style of their work, and the family hierarchy that William is a stickler for but Harry is less keen on, a split was inevitable. When they finally divided their households in March 2019, it had been a long time coming. But he never thought that a year later his brother would up sticks for America.
The pair went for a long walk to clear the air after the “Sandringham summit” when the Megxit deal was hammered out, but did not part shores as friends. What upset William the most was Harry and Meghan’s surprise launch of their “Sussex Royal” website before the summit, which featured their blueprint wish list of a part-time, commercial royal future. Later, when the Queen decreed they could no longer use “royal” in their future ventures, their website hit back with this bold statement: “While there is not any jurisdiction by The Monarchy … over the use of the word ‘Royal’ overseas, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex do not intend to use ‘Sussex Royal’ … or … ‘Royal’ …” Both “the content and that it’s still online is staggering”, a senior royal source says. “That was it for William, he felt they’d blindsided the Queen in such an insulting and disrespectful way,” says a source close to him, who reveals it was still at the forefront of William’s mind at the Commonwealth Day service one year ago. It was the Sussexes’ final engagement as working royals, and the froideur between them and the rest of the family was unmistakable.
It is a year since the Sussexes left for California and William misses Harry. “Once he got over the anger of how things happened, he was left with the absence of his brother,” an aide says. “They shared everything about their lives, an office, a foundation, meetings together most days and there was a lot of fun along the way. He’ll miss it for ever.” A close friend says William “definitely feels the pressure now it’s all on him — his future looks different because of his brother’s choices, it’s not easy.” Another friend says: “It’s still raw. He’s very upset by what’s happened, though absolutely intent that he and Harry’s relationship will heal in time.”
After lobbing bombs in his Oprah interview, Harry said: “I love William to bits … We’ve been through hell together … we have a shared experience … The relationship is space at the moment, and time heals all things, hopefully.” Harry would be wise not to set his stopwatch.
The first test will come this summer, when the brothers could be reunited for a series of family engagements including the Duke of Edinburgh’s 100th birthday and the Queen’s birthday parade in June. In July they are scheduled to unveil a statue of their mother at Kensington Palace, marking what would have been Diana’s 60th birthday, an emotionally charged occasion with the world watching.
While a chasm has opened up between the brothers, William has grown closer to the Queen and Prince Charles. He has helped them to navigate their way through Megxit, Prince Andrew’s removal from public life following the Jeffrey Epstein scandal and, now, the Oprah controversy. “That has changed the way the Queen sees him and values his input,” a courtier says. William also feels his relationship with his grandmother has “massively improved” in recent years and their views are “more aligned than ever”.
Friends say there has also been a “renaissance” in William and Charles’s relationship. “As the years passed there were strains imposed by the system — money, work, competition, Diana,” one says. “Part of William’s evolution is that as he has become closer to his father, he sees their similarities. At William’s wedding there was a gag in one of the speeches that he was more like his father than he’d ever admit, which made a lot of us laugh. As their respective destinies get closer, it weighs more heavily on them and strengthens the bond. The rift with Harry has also brought them closer.”
William is said to hate “flummery”, though the role of future king comes with plenty of bowing and scraping. But in 2017, for the first time publicly, he didn’t get his way. As a new parent worried about rising teenage suicide rates, he had spent a year convening a Cyberbullying Taskforce with big cheeses from tech and social media giants including Facebook, Snapchat, Apple, Google and Twitter. He wanted them to adopt industry-wide guidelines creating safer online spaces for children. According to William the meetings at Kensington Palace got “fruity” and the tech giants didn’t come close to the change he wanted. He was furious.
Tessy Ojo, chief executive of the Diana Award youth charity, sat on the taskforce. “He was deeply disappointed,” she says. “He didn’t come into it as ‘the duke’, he gave emotional pleas as a father.” William has since publicly condemned social media giants for their “false choice of profits over values” and privately offered support to the family of Molly Russell, who took her life at 14 after viewing images of self-harm online. Ojo believes it is William’s “lived experience of the fragility of life that guides the work he does”.
It also shapes the way he and Kate are raising their family. William has said he is determined that the grandchildren Diana never knew should “know who she was and that she existed”. He “constantly” talks to his children “about Granny Diana” at bedtime, so that they know “there are two grandmothers in their lives”. Earlier this month on Mother’s Day, Kensington Palace’s social media feeds published George, Charlotte and Louis’s cards paying tribute to “Granny Diana”, revealing it is an annual ritual for the Cambridge children. After a difficult few weeks for William, a line in Charlotte’s card provided poignant insight into how he is feeling: “Papa is missing you.”
He is on course to be a more modern monarch than any before him, but William is still a creature of habit at heart. He has the same tight circle of friends from his schooldays, one of whom says that, with William, “it’s all about trust and loyalty”. He plays five-a-side football in his Villa socks when he can, goes to the Chelsea Harbour Club gym he went to as a child with his mother and has a “smart casual” public uniform of chinos, jacket, blue shirt and no tie.
“William’s not trying to be down with the kids,” a friend says. “He never wants to be painted as irrelevant or dull, though he’s allergic to being compared to celebrities. The public doesn’t always get to see his funny side, but otherwise he’s the same in private as in public. He once said, ‘I’ll be in the public eye all my life. I can’t hide who I am because I’ll be found out.’ ”
In 2019, during a visit to a youth homelessness charity supporting LGBT people, William was asked how he would feel if one of his children was gay. “Absolutely fine,” he replied. “I fully support whatever decision they make, but it does worry me from a parent’s point of view how many barriers, hateful words, persecution and discrimination might come.” Such a personal exchange was a radical departure from royal engagement small talk. But William, the first in his family to be photographed for the cover of a gay magazine, had personally put the issue on the agenda.
As president of Bafta he gave the academy a diplomatic dressing down in his speech at last year’s ceremony, expressing his “frustration” over the lack of diversity: “In 2020, and not for the first time in the last few years, we find ourselves talking again about the need to do more to ensure diversity in the sector and in the awards process — that simply cannot be right in this day and age.” The 2021 nominees announced this month suggest his words hit home.
William “thinks the public look to him to keep royal work looking modern”, a confidante says. “The Queen and Prince of Wales are providing continuity and stability. He’s carving out his own relationship with diverse communities. He sees it all as a way of doing things now that will help a smooth transition when the time comes.”
Since the start of the coronavirus pandemic, as a former frontline worker himself, William has led the royal charge supporting key workers. “Now, more than ever, he knows what his role in public life is, and he sees the value in it,” a close aide says. Chatting to NHS workers in January, William said: “Something that I noticed from my brief spell flying the air ambulance … is that when you see so much death and so much bereavement, it does impact how you see the world … as a … darker, blacker place.” Soon after the first lockdown was announced, the Cambridges’ Royal Foundation launched Our Frontline, a round-the-clock mental health and bereavement service for key workers.
Miguel Head says the future King William will continue to campaign on his big issues: “I can’t see him backing away from causes he’s passionate about. And while he’s not someone who loves ceremony, he knows the importance of it. When he gets the top job he won’t do away with it all. He’s mindful the monarchy represents something timeless that’s above all of us, and many people like the magic and theatre of it.”
Roya Nikkhah
Roya is royal correspondent at The Sunday Times. Over more than a decade she has covered royal events for the BBC, interviewed the Prince of Wales and Prince Harry and presented the films Prince William, Monarch in the Making and Meghan and Harry: The Baby Years.
166 notes · View notes
nepenthendline · 4 years
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S/O that self-harms and has an eating disorder -  Tsukishima, Tendou and Sugawara
TRIGGER WARNING AHEAD: SELF HARM AND EATING DISORDERS
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I’m dumb and accidentally posted this half done so thats why the requests are in screenshots 
I’ve added these two requests together as they’re about the same topic. Firstly I just wanted to let anon though that I’m absolutely fine writing about these topics so you don’t need to worry! I will, however, make it extremely clear on these posts about the trigger warnings and I won’t go into intense detail so that it’s more accessible, I hope that’s ok! And thank you for your lovely words! 🥰🥰 I have added trigger warning tags for those who need to blacklist this, but please please let me know if you need me to add any others
I know there are so many people who are struggling with these issues, especially at the moment with covid, I’ve been there too and I’m still dealing with these things myself so I want you to know that if you need to talk to someone, or you’d like an emergency request, then my askbox and messages are always open. You are not alone, you are not ‘strange’ for dealing with these things, and I promise you things will get better, I’m already proud of any progress you have made and you should be too. It’s ok to have worse days and to fall back into negative spaces, you’re human!
Also, these will be following my own mental health hcs of these guys that I’ve already posted so check that out first!
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Tsukishima:
Tsukishima is the one who understands this the most
he’s been there, he’s struggled with those things and he is still fighting
if you didn’t tell him upfront about your struggles, he would have easily found out by himself quite quickly
since he has been through it himself, he knows the warning signs to look out for, so when you start covering your arms more often even with the hotter weather, or make a passing comment that you aren’t hungry at meal times, he knows it’s his time to step up as a support system
he isn’t going to be particularly forward about it, he’s not the type to come up to you out of the blue and ask questions because he knows some of them can’t be answered, so he takes things into his own hands
he spends more quiet time with you, just the two of you cuddling in your bed as he brushes his fingers over your body
while it may seem like a usual calming display of affection, he is really searching your body for any marks or wounds that are new
he tries to coax your feelings and worries out of you, telling you that you can trust him and that he isn’t going to run away
he knows that he can’t expect you to open up without him doing so either, so he lays himself out for you
he tells you what he has been through, he shows you the scars on his body, he lets you into his heart and his head so that you know you aren’t alone
once you both spill your stories, you don’t talk about it much after that, you both know what is going on so it’s just a matter of taking care of each other
regarding food, he isn’t going to force you to eat huge meals, because he has a small appetite even when he’s eating perfectly fine
but he is going to try and get you eating little amounts consistently throughout the day
you don’t want to eat a full meal? that’s fine, but he is going to be passing you little snacks every few hours so that you at least have some fuel in your body
he’s a smart guy, he knows how the body functions at its best and he will do his best to teach you too in hopes that knowing what your body needs and how it reacts to certain situations will aid you to treat it better
he’s not going to wrap you up in bubblewrap and shield you from the world either, but he will do his best to make sure that there isn’t anything you can easily hurt yourself with in your reach
he’ll put sharp objects on the top shelves, saying it’s just to piss you off about your height
he also always keeps a first aid kit on him in case of emergencies, something he has gotten into the habit of over the last few years
he’s not going to sit there and tell you everything is going to be perfect or to just ‘get over it’, it’s going to be a long process with both of you learning and fluctuating every day, but you’ll both get there eventually
Tendou:
Tendou is extremely attentive, he knows exactly when your mood has changed or if something is wrong
he’ll leave it for a little while to see if you’ll come to him yourself, but if you don’t, then he’ll start asking questions
they start off as simple, casual questions to check up on you, like ‘how are you feeling today?’, ‘how was your day today?’, before they go into specifics if he feels like you aren’t being honest with him
he’s the type of guy that makes ‘jokes’ about his depression, even going as far as joking about suicide or self-harm, and when he notices you flinch ever so slightly at his words, he knew what was going on
he brings it up one day as if talking about the weather while reading manga together
“you’ve been hurting your own body, haven’t you?”
he tries to keep the conversations a light-hearted as possible, saying how you are now ‘scar buddies’ as he lifts up his shorts to show you his thighs
he understands that what he says isn’t really going to do much, but he’s still going to shower you with compliments and affection in the hopes that it brightens your mood and distracts you even a little
distraction is his main way of helping you - if he can keep you busy then there’s less chance of you hurting yourself in his eyes
he’s going to call you over or turn up to your room unannounced with a book in hand to read together, or invite you to cuddle with him as you have an anime binge session, he also wants to make sure you’re getting outside enough so walks to get ice-cream and sit in the park happen frequently
he knows he can’t ‘cure’ you or actually make things better, so he mentions about seeing a therapist if you aren’t already and he will support you every step of the journey if you do decide to seek help
like Tsukishima, he also has a smaller appetite in general so he doesn’t expect you to eat tons
he uses prompts often to try and get you to eat more, such as “babyyyy I’m hungry, let’s go down to the cafeteria together and get some food ok?” or “I bought this jumbo pack of ramen but I can’t eat it all myself, come give me a hand?”
he likes getting you sweet treats too, they often make him feel a little perkier so he hopes they will for you as well
he isn’t going to give them any details, but he will ask his team to keep an eye on you if he isn’t around
he likes to use rating systems with you to determined how you’re doing in the day, whether that be on a scale of 1-10, or texting him a particular emoji that signals if you’re having a bad day
he will never get mad or annoyed at you if you relapse, he understands its a journey that will have it’s ups and downs, but he always reminds you of how far you’ve come and how proud he is
Sugawara:
out of these three boys, Sugawara is the one who understands this the least
he’s never dealt with this issues himself, and he has never been around those who have besides those who struggle with anxiety
even though he can’t empathise, he is naturally an extremely caring person so he wants to do his best to understand
he reads up on self-harm and eating disorders to learn about how they originate, how to notice warning signs and what he can do to help you best
he comes to you a lot as well, asking if there is anything he should know or that he can do for you
while he may not notice these issues themselves straight away, he is always checking up on you in general so he can tell if there is something a little off
it breaks his heart to know that you intentionally harm yourself and it takes him a little while to wrap his head around it
he knows he can’t do much to help the issues you face directly, so he makes sure you are keeping up with more general self-care, such as showering, getting some little exercise everyday, indulging in your hobbies and talking to him and other friends
if you need to rely on him for a little while you’re trying to get back on your feet then that’s fine with him, he is more than happy to remind you to do things to take care of yourself and help you do them too
Sugawara is the most forward when it comes to you getting help from a doctor or therapist
he has a couple serious talks with you about how you need to find a method of battling this, whether that be therapy or medication
as much as he wants to be, he can’t take this away from you
he starts stocking his bag with emergency items too, things like bandages, healing ointment or any safe foods that you can eat
to help your eating, he does his best to make food become part of your regular routine in hopes that it will make eating become more familiar and less daunting
this means regular meal times and creating lists of safe foods with you that you feel you can eat better than others
he will do his best to make sure all your meals have the right nutrients for your body and also recommend you take vitamin supplements daily in case you have a bad eating day and cannot get them through your food
it frustrates him that he can’t do more for you, or that he can’t understand exactly how you feel, but he never shows you that
he will always have his arms open for you if you need support and he will never ever blame you for the struggles you deal with, he reminds you constantly that there will be better days and he is going to be with you through all of them
757 notes · View notes
harryhandstan · 4 years
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gotta get better
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This concept has been in my head for a while now and it took me like a month to write and edit and just get it all out! I had surgery two years ago today and it was one of the most emotional, stressful experiences of my life simply bc I’m just a big baby lol. This is just something to celebrate that day and the fact that I’m still so happy it’s all over! Fluffy af as usual cause that’s all I know how to write. :)
Thankful to @bfharry​ and @bopbopstyles​ for not only inspiring me with their amazing writing but pushing me towards finishing this and reaching (even going over) my personal 5k goal! I appreciate you both so much!!
I recently saw a post about tagging triggers properly so I’m gonna do it that way but if I do it wrong or it doesn’t work PLEASE let me know and I will fix it immediately (just want to be sure all my bases are covered)
// needles tw, pills tw (prescription), anxiety tw // (if I missed anything I should’ve tagged please please let me know!!) and I’m sure there are some medical inaccuracies bc that whole day is kind of a blur for me haha 
as always likes/rbs/comments are welcome but absolutely not necessary :) 
final word count: 7.1k
//
"Y'nervous, angel?"
"Hmm?"
"Bout to chew your finger off. I know there can't be much of a nail left."
Your hand drops back to your lap. You hadn't even realized you were doing it. A bad habit of the nervous child you thought you'd long forgotten. He offers his left hand and you accept it, thumb swiping over the cross painted across his skin. He knows it's one of your favorites and you're thankful for the comfort. You don't know how many times he'd teased you about how you would eventually rub it off one day and he'd have to get it redone.
"S'a routine surgery, I bet they do them all day. You're gonna be fine."
You'd been over all this a thousand times before. Harry had to ban you from looking up the procedure online at one point. You became obsessive with worry. What if you're still awake when they cut into you and you can't talk? What if you feel everything and can't tell anyone? What if you don't wake up? He had shot down every one of your horrifying theories.
"How much longer before they take me back?"
"Nurse said it would be about 10 minutes when we checked in. Shouldn't be too much longer. Want me to check the board again?"
Checking in had only consisted of a nurse taking your name and giving you your bracelet for the day with an ID number. The number would help Harry stay updated on where you were throughout the whole process. The "board" was simply a tv mounted to the wall that frequently cycled through each patient's last name and ID number.
"No, no," You cling to his sleeve like a desperate child, "Don't leave again. She said they wouldn't update anything until I went back anyway."
Harry had left you only briefly when you first arrived. Hands in his pockets, wandering around like a lost child around the big, open expanse of the waiting room. He stayed where you could see him and the whole time you had anxiously chewed your bottom lip until he returned. You hated it, but you knew he was just as nervous as you. So you let him have that moment. To check his surroundings and release some of the nerves so he could come back to you, calm and cool as always.
When the nurse does call your name, you almost jump out of your skin. You freeze, unable to move. Harry stands and flashes the nurse a quick smile before turning back to you and offering his hand.
You shake your head, "I can't do this, H. I feel like I'm gonna throw up if I move."
"You're not, promise. Remember those breathing exercises we practiced? Do those. C'mon..deep breath in. Pause. Slowly let it out. Do it while we walk."
Slow deep breath in. Pause. Slowly let it out.
You remember how silly you felt the first time you did it. How it made you giggle at first. This is never going to work. But eventually it did. Anytime you got upset or started to overthink about this day, Harry made you stop whatever you were doing and sit down. Breathe.
It was a little difficult to do while walking. Your body wanted to pause your steps when your breath paused, but Harry tugged you along, you almost hiding behind him until you made it through a set of heavy wooden doors to a small space with a hospital bed and a curtain drawn in front of it.
//
The IV had had been your biggest dread, the fear overriding any logic that it was something you needed, instead of something the nurses decided to do simply to torture you.
Your face twists into a wince of pain when the needle goes into your vein, Harry standing over you, his face a mirror of your own as you squeeze his hand. When the nurse pulls away with a triumphant "all done!" you flash a look of surprise between your arm and Harry.
"Not that bad, eh? Think ya overreacted a bit about how bad that was gonna be?" He raises his eyebrows, waiting for you to shoot him a nasty look for teasing you.
"Maybe a little." You pinch your index finger and thumb together, indicating a minimal amount.
"Tiny bit more, babe," Another nurse appears from around the curtain and he laughs before speaking to her, "it's all she's worried about all morning."
"Honestly that's everyone's least favorite part. The rest of the day should be aces if you can handle that!"
Harry settles himself into a chair while the nurse goes through a myriad of questions. Any other surgeries? Allergies to medications you know of? Do you smoke? Drink?
Harry snorts when you say no to drinking, but quickly clasps his hand over his mouth when the nurse's head snaps to look between you and him.
"The occasional drink is fine, no worries. Nothing this morning though, right?"
"No, ma'am."
Your eyes meet his, a mischievous grin still plastered across his face. He mumbles a quick "sorry" while you try to pull your concentration back towards the nurse and the remainder of her questions.
"Alright, time for the good stuff," she passes you a small clear cup with two white pills, "First one is just something to keep you calm and relaxed, second one is to prevent any pain after the procedure. They'll give you something to make you sleepy when you get to the OR, but this might make you a bit loopy for now."
"This should be fun." Harry claps his hand in front of him, rubbing them together quickly. He leans forward in his chair, as if ready for a show.
"Yeah? Is she a happy drunk?"
Harry had only ever experienced you high on any sort of prescription medication once, almost a year ago when you went on a girl's trip with your best friend and twisted your ankle in an attempt to make it back to her car after dinner out one night. You calling him from an unknown ER in the middle of the night had terrified him enough to start packing a bag to fly to you before your best friend could grab your phone and assure him you were fine and she would put you on a plane home to him in two days as planned. He had teased you endlessly when he picked you up from the airport and for the next few days afterwards as you limped around on a bruised, ACE bandage wrapped foot.
But after too many wine drunk nights to count, he had enough stories to humiliate you with and the thought of any one of them being told now had you sinking further into the hospital bed.
"You could say that. Last time she.." His voice trails off at the sight of your eyes, wide as saucers, begging him to stop.
The nurse grins, her face kind and sympathetic to your silent cry for help.
"We're a little behind schedule this morning so it may be about 20 minutes before they come transport you, okay?" You nod, the effects of the sedative already working its way through your system, "Keep an eye on her? Make sure she behaves?"
"Yeah, I got her. We'll be fine, thank you so much." He's closer now, standing next to you again, a hand sliding up your arm to settle on your shoulder. You manage a thumbs up and a sleepy "thank you" as an affirmation that you appreciate all she's done for you.
"You're more than welcome. You'll have a different set of nurses in recovery but if you need anything until they come get you, just let me know, alright?"
"We will, thanks." His thumb ghosts across the front of your collarbone, the lightest of touches to soothe you, his eyes still focused on the nurse.
"Good luck! You're gonna do just fine, I promise."
The second she's around the curtain, Harry nudges you lightly, "Scoot."
"Huh? What do you mean..Harry, there's not enough room for you in this bed." Your head feels too light to deal with his nonsense now.
"Yeah there is if you scoot. C'mon. Hurry before we get caught. M’supposed to be keeping an eye on you, remember? Gotta make sure you don't fall outta the bed."
He's already wedged himself next to you, trying to make his tall frame fit into the limited space.
You move over as much as you can, the rail of the bed poking into your hip.
He tucks one arm behind your head, the other one thrown behind his own as a cushion.
"You feel more relaxed now, lovie?"
You scrunch down in the bed, just enough that you can tuck your head under his other arm, "A little. I don't feel sleepy enough though," Your eyes dart up, seeking the comfort of his face, "I'm scared, H."
"I know you are, baby," the hand behind your head shifts to cup around your arm, pulling you closer, "Just pretend you're home with me and we're taking a nice little nap together, yeah?"
"But you won't be there with me, not really."
"I'll be there when you wake up though. First thing you'll see when you open your eyes, promise." He runs a finger along the curve of your nose, "Close your eyes. Try to sleep, hmm?"
You shake your head, turning towards him to hide your face in his side, inhaling his scent.
"Want me to turn the light off? Would that help?"
"No," You toss the arm that isn't trapped between you two over him, holding tightly to his shirt, "Stay."
"Alright, then. We'll just wait," He tilts his head to rest closer to yours, "Have you thought about what you want to eat after?"
"Not really. M'too nervous to think about food."
"We'll think of something good. Whatever you want."
"You're gonna get us in trouble, better scoot back to your corner like a good boy." Your words come out unintentionally slurred and you weakly push yourself up and away from him as he slides off. He doesn't sit though, just stands near you, an anxious look flashing across his features.
"Hey, c'mere. Gonna be fine, routine surgery, remember?" You stretch your arms out to him, a plea to be near his warmth again.
He sits on the edge of the bed, facing you. You tug lightly at the sleeve of his cardigan, a feeble attempt to pull him closer. He indulges you, his brow still creased with distress.
"Know ya gonna be fine, just hate you have to go through it at all. Wish I could take it from you without all this." He gestures to the IV he knows you despise so much.  
"You have helped take it from me. All the sleepless nights you spent up with me, holding my hair back when I got sick. All the days after when I was too drained to get out of bed. You were there for as much of it as you could be. And you pushed me to go see the surgeon in the first place. You've helped me more than you give yourself credit for."
His fingers intertwine in yours, the pad of his thumb soothing over the front of your hand.
"Make sure you keep my phone with you, my mom will probably call you every 30 minutes for updates." A yawn stretches across your face, "She has your number too, bullied me into giving it to her last week when I called to tell her about the surgery."
He nods, patting his pocket to make sure both phones are still nestled there together.
Another yawn threatens to escape and you muffle it this time, more content to fight sleep to stare at Harry; his hair a perfect mess of curls under the harsh brightness of the hospital lighting. His face is more relaxed now, his eyes still focused on your fingers tangled together. He catches you, your eyes glazed over, too heavy and threatening to close.
"Darling, please close your eyes. I can see how tired you are," His fingertips sweep delicately over your nose again, as if he was lulling a baby to sleep, "You don't have to stay awake for me."
"Closing my eyes for just a second, alright? Not because you told me to though. I want to. Wake me up in 2 hours, don't wanna sleep too long."
Your eyes are already drifting closed, the last thing you hear is a chuckle; effortless, light as air, "I will, promise."
Soft kisses pressed across your face, "Sweet dreams, love."
//
His voice is the first you hear as you wake up in the dimly lit recovery room. Well, really it was more like a big cubicle, another space with a curtain drawn in front of it. Even with the floaty, dreamy feeling flowing through your system, you can still detect the worry in his voice.
"Harry?" It takes your mind a minute to catch up and process where you are and what had happened.
Oh yeah. Surgery day. No more annoying gallbladder. No more sleepless nights. Freedom to eat what you want and not be haunted by nausea and sickness from what you ate.
"How are you feeling? Any pain?" Suddenly a nurse in bright blue scrubs is there, way too animated and loud at the moment, "Pain scale 1-10?"
"I don't have any pain. Zero." You're aware of how high you sound and a giggle escapes through the haze. That earns you a smile from Harry, one that lights up his whole face and makes his dimples shine through.
"Awesome! Well then as soon as you're good and awake we're gonna get this IV out and go over some paperwork for both of you to sign. I want you to drink something for me too, so what would you like?"
You request a ginger ale and as soon as the nurse leaves to retrieve it for you, Harry scoots the chair he's sitting in as close to the bed as possible.
"How long was I out?"
"Couple of hours," He absentmindedly fixes your hair, looping various curls back around to their respective places, "Took a little longer than expected, you had a small infection so they had to make sure it hadn't spread."
"How much longer?"
"Long enough you had us all slightly worried." His hand trails down your cheek to cup your chin gently, urging you to look at him, "You sure you're not in pain? Now's not the time to do that stubbornly brave thing you do where you pretend nothing's wrong."
"I feel fine, really. Just a little tired, ready to go home."
He studies your face, trying to find any trace of dishonesty. When he's satisfied you're being truthful, he stands and extracts your phone from his pocket.
"Already talked to ya mum, but your co-workers were all texting you, asking how you were. Figured you'd want to handle that yourself, didn't know how much detail you would want to give them."
"Did you give my mother all the details? Infection and everything?"
"Um, no. I knew better than to do that. Promised her you would call when I got you settled at home."
"You promised or she demanded?"
"Okay..she politely asked that you call her when we get home."
"That sounds more like her." You roll your eyes, pushing yourself so you're sitting more upright in the bed.
"She just worries about you." He adjusts the pillow behind you, fluffing and tucking it where you direct it, against your lower back.
"I know. I'll FaceTime her when we get home to prove I'm alive."
"It's been a while since we've seen them, maybe we should plan a visit?" He plops himself back in the chair, leaning back as far as he can go; hands behind his head, eyes closed. You'd both gotten very little sleep the night before, you were too anxious and he was too gracious to let you suffer alone.
"Oh please, I'm lucky I even got time off to do this. My boss would never allow another break so soon."
"Maybe for the holidays?"
"Maybe..but only if you can go with me, you know they love you more than me by now anyway."
"They do not," He peeks one eye open at you, "They love us both equally."
You shoot a quick text to your co-workers, using the group chat between the few of you to make it easier.
I'm out! Feeling okay for now but that might change later lol
The nurse is back, apologizing for taking so long, "We've been so behind all day, it's crazy busy. I had to wait for your doctor to sign off on your release." She hands you a can of ginger ale, white bendy straw already poised and ready for you.
"Just need you to sign here," She holds a clipboard and a pen out to you and you balance the can dangerously in one hand while you scribble something that resembles your signature. Close enough. She gestures for you to pass the clipboard to Harry, "His signature goes under yours, just says he's responsible for you for the next few hours until everything wears off."
"This means I'm the boss, right?" He leans over to grab the board, a wink thrown in your direction. He's enjoying himself way too much at the thought of being in control of you for the next few hours. Smug son of a bitch.
She takes the clipboard back and pulls off a yellow sheet of paper, "This is just your copy of what you signed, and also has post op instructions for your bandages. Your prescription's been sent to the pharmacy, and there's a brief summary of pain management information on the bottom there just in case you need it."
"Thank you." You transfer it right to Harry's waiting hand, knowing he'll be the one surveying every word, making sure you follow everything to the letter.
"I know you mentioned earlier having a little bit of a drive home, so probably once you get her some food and pick up her prescriptions, it'll be time for another round of meds. Okay?" She turns to you again, "I know it sounds silly, but one of the most important things after this particular surgery is lots of walking. Otherwise you'll be miserable. Rest for a while when you get home, then get up every 10 minutes or so until bedtime. Don't let her skip that part, alright? Very important."
"I heard you weren't a big fan of this thing," She nods towards the IV in your right forearm, "So this'll probably be the best part of this whole process for you. We'll get this out and then you can get changed and we'll get someone to wheel you down and out of here, alright? Don't look and you won't even know when it's gone."
"Hey, think about what you want to eat, huh? Your first freedom meal. Yay!" He slips his hand into your left, raising your connected hands victoriously. You didn't think it was possible for you to love him anymore until this moment. The way he could so easily erase your fear was one of his many gifts you adored him for, "What are we having, babe?"
You don't even hesitate before answering, "Pizza, from Milano's. It's my favorite, other than that one place in Italy you took me to. Please? Oh and one of their salads, with the little bread knots on the side!"
He glances at the nurse, awaiting a reprimand for your meal choice.
"As your nurse, I feel I should remind you that while you can have anything you feel like eating, we usually recommend something small and light at first. Broth or soup with some toast, maybe. The salad may be fine, but the pizza might be a little heavy. Taking it slow would be best. But everyone is different."
"So..just cheese then? Maybe some mushrooms?"
You let your head fall back against the pillow, a foggy haze settling over you, "Plain cheese, no mushrooms."
"Alright, sounds good. Why don't I go call it in and pull the car around? Meet you out front?" He leans closer, a quick peck to your cheek before pulling his hand loose from yours and turning to leave.
"Hey, wait," You attempt to tug at his wrist, but fail, your brain still set to slow-motion. He takes pity on you and returns to your side, "Let's eat there. It's in the mall so we can window shop after we eat."
"You sure? You still seem a bit tipsy, honey."
You don't feel tipsy. Just tired, and hungry. Very hungry. As if on cue, your stomach makes a remarkably loud noise; an objection at not being fed for the past 12 hours.
"Alright, alright, calm down. " You let out an embarrassed groan when you realize he's talking to your stomach, "We'll eat there."
He kisses you again, closer to your mouth, "Missed."
"I did, huh?" He chuckles, close enough to your face now your noses are almost touching, "Let's try again."
This time his lips meet yours and you know he missed on purpose the first time by how amused he looks when he pulls away.
"One more for luck?" You can't resist letting the back of your hand wander over his face, before resting the palm of your hand against his cheek.
"I think I can handle that," He smiles before landing another quick peck to your lips, "Be good for the nurse while I'm gone. I'll have the getaway car ready in 10, yeah?"
//
You're certain Harry would have fed you if you would have let him, right here in the mall food court in front of everyone. But you refuse, insisting even, on carrying your own tray to the table. He chuckles when you pull your phone out of your sweater pocket to take a picture of your food, quickly uploading it to Facebook.
He watches you closely as you take the first bite, even pulling his own phone out to sneak a photo of you when you temporarily close your eyes to appreciate the indulgence of being able to eat one of your favorite foods again; free from that anxious feeling of whether or not it would settle right with your body later. You open your eyes the very moment after he captured the image.
"Harry!"
"You just looked so happy! I couldn't help it. You know I'll never post it anyway. Snagged a few of you earlier in your little blue cap they made you wear too." He flips back through to show you. You try to snatch the phone away, but he's too quick to pull his hand back and stash his phone in his pocket.
"When??"
"After you fell asleep, right before they came to take you back."
He takes a bite from his own generous slice of pizza in front of him before gesturing to your tray, "How is it?"
"Amazing. Even better than before, if possible."
His smile is bright, loving the satisfaction of seeing you actually enjoy food again.
Your plan to walk around the mall was cut short, you could barely make it through one store without yawning. You cling to Harry most of the way back to the car, his arm securely wrapped around you to keep you steady.
You doze off on the drive home, and when your eyes flutter open you find him opening the passenger door, offering a hand to help lift you out of the car and up the stairs into the house. Your foot stumbles on the first step, failing to make contact and you almost fall back.
"Easy," He giggles, an arm thrown behind your back to catch you before encouraging softly, "Try again."
When he's confident you're stable enough on your feet, he lets go to unlock the door.
You're greeted by a bouquet of flowers, a colorful arrangement of roses and lilies from Harry's band mates. You immediately recognize Sarah's handwriting on the card and make a mental note to shoot everyone a thank you text later. You don't know if it's the medication still in your system, the exhaustion of the day, or the overwhelming amount of love that makes you teary eyed.
Harry stands behind you as you admire the flowers and the card, arms curving around to hug you, careful of the large bandage on your upper abdomen and the two smaller steri-strips on your right side.
"How did they know pink roses were my favorite?"
"They love you, peach." He rests his chin on your shoulder, "Besides, you've only mentioned growing up with a pink rose bush in your Nanna's garden about a hundred times."
"I always loved it. Still do."
Your mind travels back to your earliest memories spent there; summers when you practically lived at the small house on the hill. Helping pick tomatoes and peppers from the garden, too warm afternoons spent with a book in your lap under the shade of a peach tree, your grandfather's corny jokes and loving smile. Your Nanna's too generous portions of food contributing to the few extra curves you still carried with you to this day.
You don't even notice the tears at first. They slip down your cheeks and land on his arm. Once you realize, you try to quickly wipe them away, but Harry sees.
"Hey..c'mon, I think your high's wearing off a bit, bub. Pajamas, meds, nap. Sound good?" He turns you to face him, using the sleeve of his shirt to brush away any tears that still linger at the corner of your eyes.
"What time is it?"
"Almost 3..why?"
"No nap. I'll never sleep tonight, and you know how grumpy I get when my sleep schedule is thrown off." Even with your declaration of not wanting a nap, you can't help but rub your eyes, a weak attempt to keep yourself awake. Any resolve Harry had to try to convince you to nap melts away. A smirk on his face, he knows you'll eventually crash later, most likely on his chest or in his arms. He's content to let you be stubborn for now.
"Okay, then. New plan. Pajamas, meds, movie. Better?"
"Better. You get everything ready and pick the movie while I change?"
"You don't wanna pick the movie?"
You wave him off, already shuffling towards the bedroom, "You're the boss today, remember?"
You take your time gathering what you need to get cozy for the rest of the day, selecting an oversized, well-worn tie dye t-shirt and leggings from your dresser. You even take a moment to dip into Harry's extensive sweatshirt collection, grabbing your favorite one. It's amazingly soft and still smells of him, a faint scent of his cologne and well..just Harry. You couldn't imagine anything more comforting.
In your pursuit to feel more lucid, you venture into the bathroom, taking a moment to wash your face. The cool water instantly refreshes you and pushes you closer to feeling like yourself again. Wanting your hair out of your face, you pluck a scrunchy from your shared collection of hair accessories. You quickly recognize that your arms still have that too heavy feeling of unconsciousness and after a few attempts to gather your curls into some sort of up-do, you give up and loop the accessory around your wrist to try again later.
Harry senses your frustration when you find him in the kitchen, two small green pill bottles sitting on the counter in front of him. He's already filled your favorite cup with ice water, and you gratefully take it and drink from it.
"What's wrong?" His brow creases with concern and you feel guilty for making him worry over something so silly.
"Nothing..just wanted my hair up out of my face but my arms wouldn't cooperate." You try to laugh it off to put him more at ease, "It's not a big deal."
You know it's only the weariness of the day still making you feel so emotional, clear-headed you would not be upset over something so small.
"Here. Let me try." He slides the scrunchy from your wrist and pulls you closer to him, moving behind you to gently work long fingers through your hair, gathering it all in a loose ponytail on top of your head before securing it around a few times with the scrunchy.
You let your shoulders drop with a deep sigh when he's done, it was such a simple thing, but it made you feel so much lighter. He spins you around to face him, a charming gleam of pride at his handiwork adorning his face, "Too tight?"
"No. Much better. Thank you, Harry. You take such good care of me always, but today..I don't know what I would've done without you. I made such a big fuss and probably made you miserable with all of my worrying." You're suddenly very aware that you are rambling, but when you catch a glimpse of his face, his smile is wide. So bright that the skin around his eyes is crinkling.
He leans towards you, lips stopping whatever words may have come next, arms wrapping around you to pull you closer in a soft, warm embrace. When he pulls away, his eyes bore right into yours, and your heart swells with more love than you could ever imagine having for one person. But he wasn't just any person. He was your person, your whole word staring back at you.
"I'm SO proud of you. You've been so strong today, always knew you had that strength in you, but seeing you take that leap of faith..doing something you knew you should despite your fear, that's all you, love. I can't take any credit for that. You've made me anything but miserable, trust me."
His face is still close enough to yours that you nudge forward, pressing your forehead to his, a silent appreciation of his affection.
"Any pain yet?" He pulls back, a thumb across your cheek, eyes still locked on yours.
"My head kind of hurts? And I still just feel kind of..drunk."
"You have always been a bit of a lightweight, babe. And a thief too, I see. S'that my sweatshirt?"
"Have not!" You swat playfully at his arm, "Maybe. Is that my hair clip in your hair?"
"Possibly." His eyes dart up to the swoop of curls on top of his head, a black plastic clip twisting it back and away from his face.
"Guess we're even then."
"S'pose we are." He tries to keep his eyes narrowed in a mock attempt of annoyance, but it quickly fades into laughter.
You decide against FaceTiming your family, hoping that hearing your voice will be enough. It seems to satisfy them at least for the rest of the day. You assure them that Harry is taking very good care of you and that everything went as smooth as could be expected.
He raises one eyebrow at you as you hang up, "As smooth as expected, huh? You aren't going to tell them the truth?"
"What's to tell? I had an infection and now it's gone. I'm fine, there's no sense in worrying them. We can give them the full story later."
He shrugs, fingers working to open one of the green pill bottles before passing one of the white pills to you, "For your headache, lovie. There's something here for nausea too if you need it. M'worried the pizza might've been too much. Maybe you should take one of these..just in case?"
"Harry, I promise I will tell you if I feel anything other than fine." Your hand runs from his shoulder down his bicep, squeezing gently, "Besides, I cannot take a whole one of those. If you think I'm a lightweight now..I'll sleep for the whole week if I take that."
He slips the bottle in his pocket, pulling you in to press a kiss to the top of your head, "We'll keep it close just in case, okay?"
"Sounds good," Your hand trails back up to his neck to work fingers through his hair, "Hey, thought we were watching a movie? What'd you pick?"
"Thought we could decide together. C'mon, let's get you comfy in bed."
"Ever the gentleman, always trying to get me in your bed."
"Hey! I am a perfect gentleman, thank you very much," He chuckles, a hand coming to rest on the small of your back, "Just thought you'd be more comfortable, you can prop up and stretch your feet out."
You let him tug you along for the second time today, thankful it's the luxury of your shared bed you get to settle into this time. He tucks you in softly, propping pillows behind your back and head.
"Comfy? Need anything else?"
"No, just need you to quit babying me so much and relax with me for a bit."
"Since when am I not allowed to baby you?"
You roll your eyes, "Never said you weren't allowed. Just want you to stop worrying so much, that's all."
"Good. Cause y'are my baby," No matter how many times you'd heard him say it before, it never failed to make you blush, "Do anything for you, y'know that, right?"
"I know," You look down at your hands, trying to slow your racing heart, "You never let me forget."
"Hey," He pokes your cheek, pulling your gaze back up to him, "I love you."
"I love you more, H."
He kisses your forehead, "Impossible. I love you most."
The reference to one of your favorite movies has you smiling at him, that dreamy feeling falling over you again, "Can we watch Tangled?"
"Sure, princess."
He sinks next to you, head propped up on your shoulder, navigating easily through Disney+ to find your requested movie.
Your eyes drift closed right about the time the lanterns are being released in the sky, a moment that normally leaves your face wet with tears, the soft vibrations of Harry humming along the perfect lullaby to push you further into your dream.
//
He wakes you later in the evening.
"Dinner's on the table if you want to join me."
"Time's it?" Your voice is still heavy with sleep.
"7. You were sleeping so deeply I didn't want to wake you, thought your body could use the extra sleep today."
"Yeah. It was nice, thank you." You stretch your arms forward, reaching for his hands to help pull you up.
"How do you feel?"
"A little sore. More sober, for sure."
Dinner is simple; a bowl of plain broth, salad, and toast. Exactly what the nurse suggested earlier. There's even a warm mug of tea waiting for you.
"With honey for my honey," He's so proud of his cheesy expression of love you cannot help but smile.
You look at him curiously when he sits next to you, the same boring meal set out for himself.
"Harry..you can eat what you want, babe. Seriously you've done enough today, more than enough to be supportive. It wouldn't hurt my feelings if you made yourself something different."
"Nah. S'fine. We're in this together, yeah?"
You raise your eyebrows at him playfully, "Did you have an organ snatched from your body today?"
"No, I didn't." He laughs, "I just meant food wise, love. It's vegetable broth, by the way, hope that's alright."
"It's perfect."
You nudge him lightly, an elbow to his side, shifting closer to ask for a kiss. He meets you the rest of the way, lips planted firmly on yours. When you don't pull away, he quickly adds another.
After dinner is done and you have another round of meds, the two of you end up in an awkward ball of cuddles on the couch. Harry flips through the channels on the tv before finding a show you both agree on.
But you're too restless, unable to find a position comfortable enough for you. You shift a few times, finally giving up and letting out a frustrated groan before tossing the blanket off the both of you and springing up and off the couch.
Harry doesn't panic, just grabs your hand before you can get too far away or lose your balance, keeping his voice low when he asks, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing hurts. I just can't get comfortable, and I don't feel right."
"What doesn't feel right, angel? Explain."
"I don't feel like myself. I don't know how to explain it. Just feel off."
He sees you're on the verge of tears and ascends from his spot on the couch, arms quickly enveloping you before placing a finger under your chin to pull your face up to look at him.
"It's probably gonna take a day or so to adjust, baby. Yes it was a minor surgery but it was a major change to your body." He's bending now to look right into your eyes, searching them,  "How can we fix it tonight, hmm? What do you need?"
Tears are free flowing, falling on the front of your t-shirt and down to the floor.
"Take your time. Breathe." A large hand smoothing warm circles firmly across your back; a balm for your restless spirit.
You pause, deep breath in before slowly letting it out, "I think I just need to move around for a bit."
"Let's go for a walk, eh? A quick one and then back to bed. Your mind needs more rest. How's that sound?" He taps your forehead softly.
"Okay, yeah." You nod your head, an approval of his plan.
"Don't worry about it, okay? Everything's gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine."
You nod again, scared your voice will break if you try to speak. He knew that those words held a lot of weight for you, he'd repeated them often throughout this whole process and to hear them now was a reminder of how safe you were. That with him, you would always be safe and loved.
Being dark outside meant you gracelessly padding through the house, up and down the hallway a few times and back to the living room. Harry stays close, encouraging you along with little claps and kisses to motivate you. When your stomach starts to feel uneasy, he urges you once again to take something for nausea. You agree to take a half a pill, knowing it'll help you sleep.
Despite the nap you had earlier and only being awake for a couple of hours, it doesn't take much convincing for you to settle back into bed.
"Harry?"
"Hmm?"
He's already reclined next to you, book in hand, the soft light from the lamp illuminating one side of his face. You're smushed against him, drifting between that sweet space of almost asleep and wanting to stay awake to enjoy any spare moment you get with him. His hand working through your hair helps push you towards the former of the two.
"I'm sorry to be such a burden today," Your words are slurring together but you continue on, just needing to get your thoughts out before he can stop you, "I don't deserve you and I shouldn't have overreacted so much about something so simple."
"Hey, none of that now," He lays the book on the nightstand, careful to save his place for later before pulling you closer to him, "You were not, nor have you ever been a burden to me. Just because you needed a little extra help today does not mean you aren't deserving of me or my love. You will never have to earn that. It's yours, always has been, will be as long as you decide to keep me around."
"Thank you. For all of it. I'll always want you."
"Always? Y'might change your mind someday, angel."
"I won't. Promise."
"Yeah? Me either."
A kiss laid delicately to the top of your head has your eyes dangerously close to falling shut again before another thought navigates its way through your mind and out of your mouth before you can stop it.
"H..what am I gonna do with a full week off from work?"
"Let me take care of you?"
//
And that's exactly what he does.
Mornings spent sleeping in, late breakfasts made together and afternoon walks. Evenings consisting of the two of you preparing dinner together or ordering takeout from some of the forbidden places you couldn't eat from before. Mugs of herbal tea before early bedtimes, you sweetly falling asleep to the sound of his voice reading to you most nights.
But his favorite part was that the scent of lavender was no longer cursed for you. Some nights before your surgery, when you simply could not fall asleep the pain was so unbearable, you would fill the tub with hot water and lavender scented bubbles to try to calm yourself enough to be able to drift off afterwards. It never worked, the heat always doing more harm than good. Harry would always be waiting for you, open arms and a soft towel to wrap you in.
So the smell became one you hated, memories of sleepless nights and nausea. But now you were free to use it again for what you always loved it for before it was cursed. In your body wash, lotion, even your laundry detergent; spreading the scent all over your shared space in as many ways as you could.
He even mentions it one night after dinner, when the two of you are pressed impossibly close together on the couch. His nose buried into your neck, inhaling deeply, pulling away to announce, "You smell like you again, love. Missed it so much." He burrows back in, placing kisses from your neck to your shoulder, ignoring your giggles and protests of how much it tickles.
A week later, the alarm wakes you sooner than you've become accustomed to, reminding you of your return to work. Harry's arm thrown over your waist pulls you closer as you try to leave the bed, a sleepy "Don't go." mumbled in your ear.
You do your best to peel yourself away from him, admitting silently to yourself how much harder it is for you to leave the warmth of your bed as it is for him to let you go.
//
2 years later, you have a scar you swear didn't heal right, and a man who loves you even more because of it.
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theonlygamergost · 3 years
Text
Nature’s effect - Fd!Au
This fanfiction is based on the Family Dynamic au made by @antarctic-bay ctic-bay if you would like to know more, go check them out!!!
Also please bear in mind that the things written in this might not be canon!
This fic was corrected by the lovely @im-default
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Techno started working at the local vivarium and finds out that nature can change and calm even the most hyperactive people, just like Tommy
I did a poll on the Fd!au server about who my next fic should be focused on and Techno/Tommy won, so here you have it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Warning! Swearing
Enjoy~
“I’m sure they’ll love the flowers! Thank you and have a nice day!” Camille waved the last customers off and started cleaning the counter of the rotten leaves and flowers that she had cut off the last order, Techno was kneeling in front of a shelf busy applying tags on products.
“Techno are you almost done with those?”
After saving some flowers from Wilbur’s room, Techno had taken a liking to tend plants and gardening in general, the local vivarium owner Camille had taught him many tips and tricks that made him a perfect employee for the job.
He was pretty hyped for his first day at work, well... it was more of a trial per se, it was a test to see how he would react to the human interactions and how fast he could get the hang of the profession, which went great in his opinion:
Camille was great at explaining how to take care of the plants and wrapping the pots for gifts, she was so elegant while she passed the ribbon around the wrapping paper Techno almost tripped by getting distracted while looking at her.
His job in the magic home of plants was pretty simple: water the plants that weren’t irrigated automatically, check for parasites, diseases, or rotten leaves, restock the expositive plants and help costumers for whatever they needed, and of course, if he didn’t know what to do, just call Camille or any other employee for help.
“You did great today Techno! The old couple you helped earlier seemed very satisfied!” Techno blushed at the compliment since he couldn’t handle them and ended up stuttering, “T-thank you…”
“There are still thirty minutes before we need to close… Are you free to stay a bit later? I can show you how the irrigators system works and where the shelves outside go when closing the shop” He froze as he took his phone out of his pocket.
There where multiple messages coming from none other than the gremlin, and the last three (out of probably twenty all saying “I am bored” and “Answer pig” ) where what caused the strong reaction:
Gremlin
YOu are working at the plant place, right?
Gremlin
Big P and Big W won’t be home till late
Gremlin
Im bored so im coming over
Oh no…
Oh no no no-
“Um... Camille? My brother is at home alone, can he wait for me here until I finish?” The kind girl did not hesitate for a moment, “Absolutely! Not many customers arrive this late so there will be no problem!” Techno released the breath he didn’t notice he was holding, texting angrily back at Tommy, cursing at him to wait until he answered before taking initiations.
Just after he learned how the irrigation system worked, a familiar red and white t-shirt popped into view, “If you want Techno, you can ask your brother to help you take care of the greenhouses, it’s an easy job and you said he was bored at home yes?” Techno nodded and thanked the owner of the vivarium, he walked up to Tommy, who as soon as he saw him, burst into a laugh.
“BWAHAHA!!! WHAT ARE YOU WEARING TECHNO?!” The pink-haired boy looked down at his outfit, which consisted of his school uniform, a pair of green rubber boots, and a cute green apron with a daisy onto it. “What are you laughing at Tommy?” his younger brother was holding his stomach, wiping a tear off of his eyes, “The apron! It’s so- Pffffff-!” Techno sighed, shaking his head, “You are an absolute child… Phil wears an apron when he cooks too and so does Tubbo when he is in art class! How is it funny to you?! It’s a simple piece of clothing!!!” He turned around hoping Tommy would follow, there was no way he was giving him a pair of scissors so a watering can should busy him enough to avoid boredness.
“Hey! I’m not a child! I’m a big man Technoblade you should know” he puffed his chest to look high and mighty, “And how do you not find aprons funny big T?! They are like a little skirt… ok fine ignore me then” noticing how Techno wasn’t turning around nor paying him attention, he followed him to the greenhouses in silence looking at the number of plants and flowers that were littered everywhere.
As soon as Techno stopped he handed Tommy a watering can full of water that he almost dropped, “WHOA- what the hell man?! This is heavy!” Ignoring his brother's complaints, he adjusted his glasses and grabbed a pair of scissors, “Water the third and fifth row, don’t get the leaves wet, pour it directly on the soil and-” Techno turned to face him, “Don’t make a lake in the pot, stop watering as soon as you made a slow circle around the plant” As soon as he finished talking, he kneeled in front of the first plant of the first row, leaving Tommy with a heavy watering can and overcomplicated instructions.
“Don’t make a lake and don’t do this a-and don’t do that gne gne gne… Ugh what a pain in the ass” Tommy started to do as Techno instructed, but as time went on, something in him changed, going from a grunting face and not caring if he poured too much water, to a more relaxed expression, softly moving the leaves aside so water wouldn’t get on them.
Techno didn’t notice this change at first since he was too focused on removing dead flowers and leaves, but when he looked up to check if the gremlin was doing ok, he stopped himself from talking when he noticed that Tommy was crouched down, holding a ladybug in his hands.
Techno smiled at the sight of his brother becoming calmer when in contact with nature, he was so cute…
Quickly snapping a picture and sliding his phone back in his pocket he walked up to him, kneeling as well. “What’cha looking at?”
Tommy didn’t bother looking at his brother, his eyes were fixated on the small bug, “A Ladybug… it has five spots… Does that mean it’s five years old?” Techno softly chuckled, “No, that’s a common misconception Tommy, the spots are to warn predators that they don’t taste good, a self-defense mechanism” Tommy looked up at Techno and back to the ladybug, “But why five?” the older brother spotted another one of the small creatures, he waited for it to walk on his finger and held it close to Tommy’s one, “It represents which species it is, look- they both have five spots, meaning they come from the same category” Tommy added nothing, too absorbed into admiring the small bug pacing around the palm of his hand, instead, Techno placed his one back on the plant, snipping away a molded leaf, “Farmers believe that if they find a ladybug with less than seven spots means that they’ll have a good harvest, the contrary if it has more than seven, it’s only a folk legend though” Tommy decided to follow suit and moved his hand closer to the plan, allowing the small red and black insect to go back on the plant it came from.
“C’mon, your watering can’s empty, let’s go fill it up” The blonde boy smiled and nodded, grabbing the empty plastic container and following his older brother, looking at the variety of flowers and plants the greenhouse sheltered.
The rest of the time spent tending to the plants was calm and relaxing, nature really changed Tommy since he didn’t say once that he was bored or he never tried to start an argument, he looked at peace watering the small plants, kneeling to smell the flowers and making sure they weren’t diseased.
“Do you want to cut off the brown leaves? You look like you want to look at the plants a bit closer, I can water the rest” Tommy was surprised when Techno held in front of him the pair of scissors, he hesitated for a second, making sure that his brother was confident in his decision, but all he got from Techno was a soft smile.
Tommy remained in this unusual state all the way back home, let’s say that this moment of… “peace” was ruined when Wilbur came home and showed Tommy the picture Techno took of him behind his back.
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frostedfaves · 3 years
Text
I Don’t Feel Alive (4)
Masterlist
Pairings: Jake Peralta x sister!reader (platonic), Rosa Diaz x fem!reader (romantic), Jake Peralta x Amy Santiago (also romantic)
Summary: Jake shows up for your big moment and you’re there to comfort him for his.
Warnings: drug mentions and use, anxious reader, a bit of angst
A/N: so sorry for the wait on this part, but I hope it was worth it! I did a time jump because I needed to move forward a bit, not only for the sake of the addiction part of the storyline, but also because I need to introduce Rosa and Amy soon. anyway, lemme know what you think!!
Previous part
-
To say you were nervous was an understatement. You were about to host your very first art show featuring your own paintings, something that you’d wanted for a long time, but you didn’t expect it to feel this overwhelming when you finally got it.
“Hey, there’s my celebrity sister!”
You turned away from the mirror at the sound of the familiar voice, a relieved smile falling onto your features at the sight of Jake coming toward you.
“You came,” you breathed out as his arms enveloped your frame.
“Of course! I’d never miss this.” He pulled away from the hug and grabbed your hands with a grin. “So how does it feel?”
“Oh, it’s the worst! My head is spinning, and I can’t feel my feet anymore. Not to mention the heavy weight on my chest reminding me that this is all I’ve ever wanted since I realized that art is the one thing in my life that consistently made me happy and if I mess this up I could ruin my chances at a career--”
“Okay, okay.” His thumbs lightly rubbed across the back of your now shaking hands. “Before we go out there, why don’t we just take a moment to breathe?”
You nodded in acceptance of the idea, and he led you through a few cycles of inhaling and exhaling. By the sixth cycle your mind felt a bit quieter, and the knots in your stomach seemed to loosen.
“Feeling better?”
“Much better, thank you.” You leaned forward to sink into his hold again, smiling when his hands began to rub your back.
“You’re not going to mess anything up, by the way. You’ve already impressed so many people with your art, and when they realize how awesome of a person you are, they’re going to love you even more!”
“I hope you’re right, Pineapples.” A heavy sigh escaped you. “God, I wish Grandma was here to see this. How’s living at her apartment, by the way?”
“Weird, but it feels right at home at the same time. You’re welcome to visit anytime, you know, when you get a break from being a famous artist,” he teased you and you laughed, poking him a bit.
“Whatever. I guess I should stop by one day. And now that I can legally drink, I can visit that bar you like so much and meet your detective friends.”
“Oh yeah!” He pulled away quickly and you met his eyes that somehow seemed even brighter than before. “You have to meet my friend from the academy! She’s super scary at first and she doesn’t talk about her life so everything I know about her is purely based on observation but she’s great!”
“Sounds like someone I might like to know,” you told him with a chuckle. “Is she the detective that just transferred?”
“No, that’s Amy.”
“In love with her already, huh?”
“Wh-what?! Don’t be ridiculous. Yeah she’s intelligent, gorgeous, and an insanely great detective but it just wouldn’t work. We’re too different.”
Before you could tease him further about his instant “heart eyes”, an announcement came over the PA system that reminded you the art show was starting soon. You suddenly wished you could fast forward through the night, which Jake instantly picked up on and offered you a reassuring smile.
“Everything’s going to be fine, Little Carrot. I’m willing to bet all of my money on it!”
“You’re in crushing debt. That doesn’t make me feel better.”
“Damn, you’re right. Well, see you soon!” He dropped a big and obnoxious kiss on your forehead before scurrying out of the room.
-
“For a first timer, this was incredibly successful, Y/N!”
“Thanks, Ken!” You smiled gratefully at the guy who helped you pull everything together as he approached you. “I can’t believe how many pieces I sold tonight!”
“I can believe it. You’re talented, and the world is finally getting to see it. Speaking of the world…” He grabbed your shoulders and turned you until your line of vision focused on a man on the phone in one of the doorways. “That well-dressed and extremely successful guy wants to hire you for a project and I would recommend accepting because he has connections to help you with your Paris goal.”
Your eyes widened at this, and you turned back to Ken. “Wait, seriously?! What are we waiting for?! Let’s go over there!”
After finding out the details of the project and gratefully accepting the job, you made your way to the back room to make sure you weren’t leaving anything important behind, briefly remembering your spiraling moment and feeling thankful that you were able to move past it. You were just about to turn off the lights and leave when the door opened and Erica entered.
“Congrats on tonight, N/N! I’m so proud of you.”
“Thanks, E.” You hugged her with a wide smile. “Have you been here the whole time?”
“Yeah. I would’ve approached you earlier but you were either talking to buyers or with your mom and detective brother, and I didn’t want to get too close with this.” She pulled out a little baggie holding a joint, bringing it into your line of vision. “Wanna celebrate properly?”
“Damn, I wish I’d had that earlier. But yeah, just give me a second to text Jake and then I’ll be ready.”
She left the room as you pulled out your phone, sighing when you saw Jake’s text wondering if you were coming down to Shaw’s. After wrestling with your conscience a bit, you ultimately decided to stick with your original plan. Today was super successful but incredibly draining, and you needed to wind down properly.
I’m pretty tired so I’m going to head home but maybe we can meet tomorrow so I can tell you about my new job! Thanks for coming tonight and I love you.
-
It was just a regular night for you, sitting in your apartment and painting whatever came to mind while music played softly in the background. You were so lost in your atmosphere that if your phone had been on vibrate, you wouldn’t have noticed the text from Jake come in.
need you to come to the precinct asap
You were on your feet in no time, sliding on shoes and grabbing a hoodie on your way out the door, pulling your arms into it and zipping it as you waited for your cab. Within minutes you were arriving at the 99th precinct, getting out of the car and approaching the building as Jake walked away from a brunette woman while holding a box.
“Thanks for coming,” he greeted you while placing the box on the ground to hug you, pulling away to start typing something on his phone. “I just got fired and I really needed to see you.” He turned his phone to you and you read the screen.
its part of a plan for me to go undercover in the mafia for the fbi. could be gone for six months.
Tears instantly filled your eyes as you took in the message. Jake always made being a detective sound so fun that you forgot there were real dangers tied to his line of work. He’d be working among people that could kill him quickly or torture him slowly with one wrong move, and the thought made you feel sick. Not wanting to worry him further, you grabbed his phone and typed a response.
please be careful.
You hugged him after he read the words, both of you holding each other tightly as if you thought the world would collapse when you let go. You were quick to wipe away any escaped tears, smiling at him when you pulled away and gripping his hands in the same way he does to calm you down.
“I know it seems like it now, but this isn’t the end. You’re going to find something that makes you happy, and be just as good at that.”
“I hope so.” He squeezed your hands before pulling away to pick up the box again. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to drop this off at home and go drink away the sadness!”
He left you with one of his signature goofy grins, and you worked hard to burn the image into your memory, hoping it’ll last until you see it again six months later. Before you could decide what to do with yourself, your phone rang and you sat on the nearest bench as you answered.
“Y/N, hi! You don’t know me yet but I’m hoping we can change that soon! Tony Palmer here, and I saw your work on the HST project. Just wondering if you would be interested in spending a few months in Paris?”
“Absolutely I am,” you managed to answer, once the shock wore off a bit.
“Awesome! We can talk more about it in my office tomorrow.”
You saved his information in your phone, immediately heading over to your text thread with Erica when the call ended because you were curious about whether she knew any dealers in France. You weren’t sure you could handle being sober while worrying about Jake and living alone six time zones away for half a year.
-
Tags: @beeblisss @marie-03 @gaulty74 @xetherealbeautyx @makapaka11 @rosadiazswifey @ochrythum @halfofwhatisayismeaningless @hip-hopphile
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artxyra · 4 years
Text
Her Little Robins | Tim’s Addition
“Hey, what’s a little kid doing outside on this cold winter night?” Little Timothy Drake turns around face red. He tries to hide the pair of binoculars behind his back. There standing before him is one of Gotham’s vigilantes—Kismet in her dark red halter bodysuit with black heeled combat boots and matching jacket. Her red and black mask covering her eyes that was clearly amused to see the young boy watching for the heroes.
“I, um… cookie?” Tim digs into his backpack and pulls it a single Oreo. Kismet giggles and takes the sweet treat away from the boy.
“But seriously kid, what are you doing out here all alone, in the middle of the night no less?” Kismet asks once again; however, this time she takes a seat next to the boy who was now pouting for being caught in such a situation.
“Robin and Batman are my favorite heroes,” He beams, “The way that they work as a team and beat the bad guy. I have every villain card that can be found in Gotham…and I just really want to meet them up close.” Tim’s enthusiasm fades away as he continues to talk about the vigilantes. Kismet hums in responses never once interrupting the boy.
“That was a nice explanation…” Kismet says but her voice fades leaving the blank to be filled.
Tim notices her trailing off and pipes up, “I’m Timothy, but everyone calls me Tim.” He smiles at the hero to which she rubs his head much to his liking. “Hey,” He whines squirming away from her.
“It’s nice to meet you Tim but isn’t it past your bedtime.” Kismet wonders tapping her chin with a thoughtful look on her face.
Tim becomes deflated. “They won’t notice that I’m gone.” He murmurs turning his attention to the bag that lays deflated on the ground. Kismet presses her lips together and places a hand on Tim’s shoulder.
“I’m sure they did, do you wanna talk about or do you want me to take you home?” She asks the second Tim turns to her with watering eyes.
“Don’t you have patrol?” There is hope in his voice.
“This is Batman’s city, I’m just visiting, so technically I don’t have to worry about patrol right now.” She answers finally sitting down next to the young boy. Tim not knowing any better rest his head on her arm. Kismet tense but one look at how comfortable the kid was against her made her relax. “Tu es trop précieux pour ce monde, Tim.” Tim was too precious for the world that is within Gotham.
“What did you say?” He asks softly.
“How about I tell you stories of my adventures until you feel comfortable to go home?” Kismet offers, deflecting Tim’s questions. There will come a day when Tim will learn French that day is not today. Tim nods excitedly and looked up to her with a question in mind. She nods giving him the approval he needed to climb into her lap. Kismet begins to tell him her first mission being Kismet. Starting the blossoming mother-son relationship that Tim desperately needed.
~*~
Tim was having a rough day. This morning his assistant insistent that the Co-CEO of WE should not be drinking coffee after a certain time, which just so happened to be right before noon. They should be lucky that Tim didn’t fire them right then and there. He needs coffee to survive a single workday at WE and that was just his morning drinks. Then during a meeting, there were missing reports upon missing paperwork that still needed to be signed and approved for projects that were ready for the next step. He just wants to take a break and enjoy the remains of his day.
“You know, you shouldn’t work on an empty stomach, my petit oiseau de café.” The one person that could make his whole day bright joke from behind. Marinette was wearing her usual business casual getup which consists of a pale pink blouse with her signature apple blossom emblem on the breast pocket and a grey (sometimes black) knee-length pencil skirt. Her arms were crossed over her chest, but he knows she isn’t upset because of the playful look in her eyes.
“Coffee?” He queries with underlying hope.
“Coffee.” She replies with a chuckle. “But I’m driving.”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” Tim says as she jingles the keys in front of him.
The two share a smile as Marinette walks closer to him and grabs his wrist.
Tim misses this feeling. Here he was sitting at the Cozy Miracles Café, a café that is specifically for him and his mother figure to hang out without any disturbance, drinking coffee, and talking. They spoke about the company and how its success is growing before switching the subject every now and then. Tim had asked her about any latest trips that she had gone on since her last visit. Apparently, she’s been to Brazil, Taiwan, England, and Japan a couple of times. Each visit was for a different reason. However, after a while, their conversation turns into long periods of silence and more looking at one another with worry.
“Timmy, what’s wrong?” This question takes Tim by surprise. He was hoping that she wouldn’t catch his depressed state. In fact, he wasn’t sure he wanted to even answer that question as he knows she’ll go all mother bird on him. Which is ten times worse compared to Dick’s.
“It’s nothing, ‘spresso.” He sighs but he should know better than to say something like that.
“Tim, you’re barely an adult, and yet here you are running a multi-billion company. I may oversee retail and own twenty-five percent of the company, but I can tell when you have a lot on your shoulders. Does this have anything to do with your brothers? Bruce? You being RR?” She wasn’t wrong with either of those options.
Tim stays silent, which did nothing but cause her to pout. Instead of opening her mouth, Marinette gets up and orders another round of coffee. Nothing fancy, just something to sip on. She returns and slides back into her seat with fresh cups of drinks.
“Alright, oiseau de café, I’m here to listen. I promise I won’t tell Bruce, nor Alfred. Psychologist honor.” She says holding her hand up giving him her word.
Tim takes a big breath, pulls the fresh cup of coffee closer to him, and opens his mouth. The words came out like a flood. All his anxieties and fears aired out like they are usually are when speaking to Marinette. By the time he was done, he was close to a breakdown. Marinette had gotten up and wrapped her arms around him.
“Tu es digne, Tim, et personne ne peut te l’enlever.” He is worthy of everything he has been through, and she was right no one could take that away from him. For years he felt unworthy of being a part of the Wayne family like he was only here because Jason had died. He remembers Bruce being reluctant about taking in another Robin. If it wasn’t for Mari, he probably still be trying to prove his existence to Bruce. No matter how many years and discussions have passed, he still feels like an outsider. Marinette never treated him like such.
“Thank you, Mari.” He whispers to her to which she smiles and places a kiss on his forehead.
“Ahem,” The two coffee addicts break apart to be greeted Damian, someone that probably should have been at school. “I am in need of tatie’s assistance.” He states keeping his head held high. Marinette looks back at Tim silently communicating to see if it was okay for her to leave. Tim shrugs and drinks his coffee like he hasn’t just cried his heart out just moments ago.
“Of course, Dami, do you wanna speak in my car or go for a walk.” She asks after sending Tim a bright smile.
“Walk, please.” Marinette nods and gets out of her seat and usher Damian out of the café.
Tim pulls out his phone and sends a text message to the group chat he has with his older brothers. The message was simple, and it was, “Demon just invaded my one-on-one time with ☕” The replies he received were hilarious and worrisome.
It turned out that Damian didn’t need Marinette for anything, he just wanted her away from Drake. This caused Marinette to take Damian out for ice cream before allowing him to return with her to WE for the rest of her workday. Bruce was not happy with Damian, who actually skipped school in favor of spending time with his tatie.
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274 notes · View notes
ohdaim · 3 years
Text
april fool's day oneshot
hi guys, i wrote this today in one sitting, and it's lazily edited:) i'm recovering from an oral surgery and on strong medication, so i hope this makes as much sense as i think it does.
Ship: Ignis Scientia/female reader Summary: You are a Citadel valet working the night shift, frequently attending to Ignis' car. You have no idea how to talk to him. He has no idea how to ask for your number. Words: 1849 idk if this is considered fluff or just mutual pining but with like,, idiots
__
Stir together bread crumbs, garlic, parsley…
You scanned the rest of the newest recipe on your favorite cooking blog, Feeding The Fussy. As always, it looked delicious. As always, you rated it five stars and typed out a comment.
I followed the recipe exactly, but I left out the bread crumbs and cheese. I used shrimp and bacon grease instead. Terrible recipe. Won’t make again.
Putting your phone away, you came to attention when someone stepped out of a Citadel elevator across the lobby. You worked night shift as a palace valet and hardly saw anyone but for a few regular night owls. One of them approached now, and gods, you were nervous all of a sudden.
Ignis was your favorite regular. He was polite, tipped well, and made small talk so you wouldn't have to. You didn’t know what he did in the Citadel or why he so often left at four in the morning. You just knew you had a big crush on him and, for that reason, could never carry a full conversation without getting sweaty palms.
“Good morning.” He greeted you first. “Quiet night?”
You nodded, entering the info you needed to check his vehicle out of the system. You wanted to say something, anything. Nerves got the best of you, and you excused yourself into the back room to get his car keys. On your way out, you held them up. “I’ll have your car here momentarily.”
Ignis didn’t respond. He wasn’t even looking at you. His attention was on his phone, a corner of his mouth curled upward.
You paused, taking in the smirk with shy curiosity. That was a new look. What was he smirking at? When he seemed to remember himself, he schooled the look and met your eyes. Startling, you repeated yourself quietly and went through the doors leading to the parking garage.
Ignis’ car consistently smelled like coffee wrapped in leather. Your phone vibrated in your pocket as you buckled in. Because you wanted to linger in the nice scent--was this extremely weird? Yes, of course--you checked to see what the buzzing was about.
An email. You’d gotten a reply from the Feeding The Fussy chef. They’d liked your comments in the past but hadn’t addressed your obvious jokes. You stared at the subject line for a beat, then opened the message.
Thank you for the review. Almost as insightful as last week’s eight hundred word description of your current diet and how my recipes conflict. Do you have any suggestions on how to improve this one?
Your nervousness grew so heavy, it burst in bright red over your face, a flame in your chest. The chef was talking to you. You’d chalked it up to luck that they understood your sense of humor and the intent of your comments. Never had you thought they’d give more than a like. You typed a response before getting back to work.
Pro tip: Using a microwave is faster than the oven. Also, I’ve begun a new diet (details to follow), so is there any way to make this recipe without the ingredients?
Ignis’ car was fancy but less so than most others in the garage. You always felt a pinch of regret when pulling it up to the lobby entrance. Driving a car like his just to see how fast it could go, it wasn’t something you’d ever get to do. You didn’t own one yourself, and truthfully, you'd only gotten a driving license to be qualified for this job. Getting out, you waved at Ignis and extended an arm toward the open driver’s seat.
Tip passing from his hand to your own, you bowed and tucked the money into a pocket. He thanked you, getting into his car. You waited for him to drive away, likely the last person you’d see this shift.
“Ah, pardon me,” Ignis startled you by climbing back out, the car door hanging open. He held something out to you. “I believe you dropped this.”
You looked at your phone in his hand, your eyes wide, nervousness becoming embarrassment. Quickly grabbing it, you bowed again. “Sorry.”
Ignis chuckled. “It’s quite alright. Good thing I noticed when I did.”
Nodding emphatically, you wished he’d just go before you humiliated yourself further.
Clearly not reading your mind, he lingered a moment longer. “In truth, I--”
“Have a good day, sir.” You didn’t mean to interrupt him and hadn’t expected him to say more.
He cleared his throat and smiled. “Same to you.” Thanking you again, by name this time, he left.
Back in the quiet lobby, you put his tip with the rest you’d made that night. You sat behind the desk and buried your face in your hands. The sting of feeling stupid in front of Ignis was abated by the underlying excitement that came from talking to the chef you admired.
They specialized in meals for picky eaters, which you were. They used clear directions, so they could be followed by an amateur chef, which you really were. They sometimes added personal anecdotes spiced with sarcasm and dry jokes to the recipe’s background, which made you feel safe to comment. You refrained from checking your inbox, content to wait until you were home to see if they’d replied yet.
Two attendants arrived for the day shift, and as you hitched the strap of your bag over a shoulder, readying to leave, one of them told you to wait.
“You should pick up a new nametag before your next shift.”
Glancing down at your uniform, you remembered you’d lost yours several days ago. “Oh, right. I will.”
You stepped into an elevator, pressing the button for the metro station level. New nametag. Dumb. You had your work badge but still required a tag. How else would the Citadel inhabitants know who to thank for fetching their expensive cars? You rolled your eyes at the thought, already annoyed. You’d have to come to work early to pick it up. Was it too soon to quit and attend culinary school? You needed to make a bit more money first. Ignis tipped large bills, but still, it’d take years of picking his car up every morning before you could afford tuition.
Grinning to yourself, you weaved through the incoming morning crowds and boarded a train home. It had felt nice, hearing Ignis say your name on his way out. He was the only person who ever addressed you, so maybe getting a new tag was worth it for that alone. Ignis was just-- He truly-- You really liked when he came down, that was all.
It didn’t strike you for another several hours, as you filled out the online request for a new Citadel employee nametag, that Ignis must’ve remembered your name. You supposed a great memory was probably just another part of his polite demeanor. That’s what you told yourself, at least, to keep your crush from growing. You didn’t even know the man.
You attempted the chef’s latest recipe, and as it cooled, you--very casually and not nervously at all--checked to see if they’d replied.
I’ll keep that tip in mind. As for your question, I recommend the following replacement recipe: brew a cup of coffee or tea, sit somewhere comfortable, and enjoy the beverage knowing your comments haunt me whenever I cook.
You read and reread the message, then laughed into a hand. Worth the wait. You ate a bite directly from the dish on your counter, huffing through the fresh heat with mild regret. They deserved a genuine review after such honesty, but it seemed you were doing little more than burning the roof of your mouth. So you took a picture of the food, offering a thumbs up with one hand in frame, and sent it as a reply.
The next night you worked, Ignis arrived much earlier than expected--before midnight, no less. He was coming in rather than going out. Another man was with him, someone blonde and unfamiliar. Ignis opened the back to retrieve something, turning you down when you offered to get it for him. The blonde man, his smile sincere but awkward, complimented your shoes.
“Thanks.” You didn’t really know what to say. People chatting with you was uncommon.
“They match your uniform’s tie… thing.” The blonde man was red in the face. Someone needed to tell him he didn’t have to make small talk. You were just a valet. He persisted, his smile broad. “It’s nice, y’know. You’re, like, coordinated and stuff.”
“Prompto.” Ignis closed the back and proffered a piece of luggage toward the other man. “Leave her be.” When the man took the bag from him, Ignis gave you the car keys. “I apologize for my friend. He can’t contain himself around beautiful women. Add inebriation, and he’s a lost cause.”
You gripped the keys tightly, taking in everything with a slow nod. Yes, of course, right. All of that made sense. Ignis was bringing a drunk friend into the palace. Normal Ignis stuff.
“Do you think Cor’s gonna be mad at me?” the blonde asked Ignis, walking backwards from the car toward the lobby doors. “Iggy, what if Cor gets mad at me?”
Ignis rolled his eyes, a hand checking his inner jacket. “A tad late to worry about that. Go directly to the barracks and try to sleep it off.”
“Where are the barracks again?”
Ignis’ chest broadened with a sigh, and he left the guy hanging. Withdrawing a money clip, he held it out to you. “For your trouble.”
You hesitated taking it. The outer bill appeared to be 1,000 yen, and it was several notes thick… More than the usual tip. You took it slowly, fingertips brushing his leather covered palm, and murmured a quiet thanks.
Ignis remained, his hand lifting to brush loose strands of hair out of his face. He wasn’t as put together as you were used to. Your eyes trailed downward, now noticing the unbuttoned collar of his shirt. Huh.
He cleared his throat and began, “There’s something I--”
“C’mon, Iggy!” The blonde man held one of the entrance doors wide open. “If I knew Cor was gonna be mad anyway, I would’ve stayed at Noct’s.”
Ignis gave you a hasty farewell, already walking away to push the blonde man through the door. They disappeared inside, leaving an awkward wake of silence. You settled into Ignis’ coffee-and-leather scented car, a realization hitting you late, as they tended to do. Had Ignis implied you were beautiful? You didn’t entertain the thought for long. Ignis was a professional, royal something-or-other. He would never. You were reading too much into it. Surely.
On the walk from Ignis’ parking spot back to the lobby, you checked for the latest message from the chef. You’d boldly given them your number in a DM when the comment thread became unbearably long. You hadn’t held out hope of receiving a message and read their initial text at least ten times in disbelief before responding and saving the number.
Was this a new friendship? You hoped so.
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