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stayevildarling · 3 days

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hello🙋‍♀️, I was wondering, if you are still taking requests, could you do a part2 for the Confessions In the Dark fic? If not that's totally fine🤍

Cordelia Goode x Wilhemina Venable x Billie Dean Howard x Reader- Confessions in the dark- Part 2

A/N: Hello 🫶🏻 this is truly some sad shit. But I did promise when I wrote the first part so yeah here we are. Please read this with care if you are easily triggered, this is some heavy stuff.

tw: mention of self harm, mention of depression, mention of anxiety, mention of medication, mention of suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt, mention of being sick, angst, hurt

word count: 7.5k

taglist:

@lunaticwhittaker , @billiebeanhoward, @lanawinters-ily , @kenzbro, @minaslittleone, @httpfiftyshadesofgay , @whitelotus00 , @ninaahs , @vintagepaulson , @isle-of-earle , @paulsonsratched , @stepintomyworld , @grilledcheeseandguavajelly , @lucyintheskywithxanax , @fanfics4world , @mymiraclewitch , @hazard-to-myself , @awritersometime , @ohrwurm26 , @wastdstime ,

They had patient with you, so so beautifully patient that it made all of this even harder. For days darkness had surrounded you, like a dark cloud following you wherever you went, raining down on your brain, the water droplets little thoughts. Little thoughts that would quickly turn into bigger thoughts, the same things repeating and circling around you mind. You had tried, tried so incredibly hard, to get up everyday, to manage for them, to breathe for them but it almost became impossible. Each breath felt like your lungs are on fire, your heart feeling so incredibly heavy in your chest, the sadness written on your face. As if every single thing about you had been replaced, your laughter illuminating a room, your kind heart and the way it beat for your girlfriends, your happiness.

After your confession to them in the darkness of the night, really only confiding in Wilhemina as she had been the one awake but also the one you trusted most that night for some reason, feeling an odd amount of safety with her, the redhead later filling in Cordelia and then the three of you filling in Billie, it had been hard. They listened so intently, so willingly and so lovingly. Through every confession, no matter how dark it was, holding you through every sob and supporting you every step of your long way. After the weekend, Cordelia had talked you into going back to the doctor's and she was so encouraging and hopeful that you somehow couldn't deny her, feeling you needed to get better for them, considering that they let you into their lives. You couldn't just wreck it all by letting them down.

And so the following Monday, you followed Delia as she took you to the all too familiar and scary practice, encouraging you to talk to your doctor before she spoke, choosing her words carefully as she knew there was a slight risk of having you placed somewhere and despite that discussion also being had between the four of you, she didn't want that for you. And so they had started you on your medication again, the same medication that you had abruptly stopped, causing you to be sick for weeks and you hated the idea of having to start all over again, the first weeks always being incredibly hard, causing you to lay awake at night as insomnia overtook you, causing you to barely be able to function throughout the day and only making your symptoms stronger. And you knew there would be light at the end of it, remembering your life before you had stopped taking them.

However the last week had been incredibly hard, to the point where you felt like giving up a few times, simply letting the darkness consume you and drown you in it's intensity. The doctor had mentioned briefly to your girlfriend that they believe you suffer from high functioning depression, which only made it harder for them to see, as you would still function throughout the day, giving classes, helping your girlfriends around the academy and taking care of them. They had no idea what was going on in that pretty little head of yours, as Cordelia would often say, making you chuckle in the process. You never struggled with getting out of bed, especially sharing a bed with them, despite not getting much or any sleep at times. You never struggled with keeping your appearance perfect, taking care of your hygiene, always carrying a smile on your face despite it being forced.

They really hadn't known what was going on inside, the darkness that truly surrounded you and had been, Billie even thought you had been better since taking the medication again, checking on you more often but whenever she found you, you would greet her with the biggest smile, the two of you often in light conversation when she returned from work and snuggling on the sofa, unaware that it took every bit of strength to remain so happy for her, terrified to disappoint them again. Cordelia knew, she knew you weren't truly that happy, she could see it when she checked on you throughout the day, lingering by the door as you were teaching classes, seeing the way your smile was forced, unaware of the true lingering thoughts and the only thing you being able to think about was how the coven and girls would take it if you suddenly disappeared. Wilhemina had tried her best, keeping an extra eye on your medicine tubs that she prepared for you, with days on so she could know you took it, always appearing near you around the same time when your medicine alarm would go off, checking whether you took it. Often glancing at your outfit choices and wanting to check your arms, sometimes her fingers trailing gently near your wrists to check whether it was the remaining healed ones or whether new pain lingered on your delicate skin.

Your girlfriends had known it was hard, they knew about the nausea and headaches as they could see it behind your beautiful eyes, they knew you were tired, often finding you awake at night and trying to gently coax you back to sleep. They knew about the side effects and that these few weeks were hard, however they had no idea just how truly bad it had been, that again you would retreat to the silence and not fill them in completely, despite you promising. And that broke you even more, that they didn't know, that you couldn't tell them as whenever the thought lingered on your mind, anxiety filled you and the words get caught in your throat, making it impossible to share.

Despite everything you had tried to remain yourself, still preparing Billie and Wilhemina's lunchboxes for work in the morning, still teaching your classes and helping out the girls around the academy as much as you could, helping new ones to get settled and being there when one of the older witches and your friends needed you. You still cooked for your girlfriends, still checked in on Cordelia in her office and trying to take as much as possible off their plates. And the supreme wondered how you continue doing that with such grace and kindness and she worried that it was to distract you from whatever you had been fighting in silence but she wanted you to keep that bit of yourself, of course never asking directly for anything as she simply couldn't, trying very hard to cut down your teaching for you and take as much as possible off your plate, the way you usually would for them and her.

Today had been another one of those days, one where despite it all, you really wanted to disappear somewhere, you weren't quite sure where exactly but it all felt a little too much. When your girlfriends left for work, Cordelia already up and in her office working, the three of them deciding to let you sleep in a little, you struggled. Appreciating the thought of course but you really wanted to stay in bed, never move again as everything felt unbearable. It wasn't that you couldn't as you didn't need to teach or really do anything today and the three of them had often reminded you that you could easily have some rest and quiet time, but the thought of not doing anything made you nervous, making the whole thing even more exhausting and horrible. And so after eventually getting dressed, you longed for your Delia, wanting nothing more than to hold her in your arms, to feel her close and her usual sense of vanilla and honey to make you feel like home and that everything was going to be okay.

And so you decided to do just that, making her some coffee before carrying the cup towards her office, carrying it in your shaking hands before knocking. ,,Come on in'' she announces softly, typing away on her computer before she lays eyes on you and they instantly sparkle, as she abandons her work and the typing stops. ,,Good Morning sweetie'' she greets you warmly, ushering you to come over as she moves her chair backwards, inviting you to sit on her lap. ,,You're a lifesaver thank you'' she chuckles as you hand her the coffee. You don't say much, simply allowing yourself to sit on her lap, hoping you aren't intruding despite knowing in reality you are as she was always incredibly busy. But for now you brush the thoughts away, as she trails her fingers softly through your hair, taking in your soft scent before observing your features a little closer. ,,How are you today my sweet girl?'' she asks, her eyes locking with yours. And it took everything not to falter, to keep her gaze and to not give in and share it all.

,,I'm okay Delia'' you reassure, knowing she could see right through you but nevertheless too tired to hide it any better. ,,How's you?'' you ask as you nuzzle yourself in the crook of her neck, planting a soft kiss, causing her to melt right into your touch. ,,I'm perfect sweetie'' she smiles and you knew she meant it, she was perfect because you were there in her arms but it was so incredibly hard to believe when the voices keep telling you she's lying and that you are nothing more than a burden. ,,I've been a bit worried'' she admits, causing you to look into her beautiful hazel eyes. ,,What about?'' you ask a bit dumbfounded, your thoughts instantly trailing to your other girlfriends and the academy. ,,You darling'' she admits and you avert her gaze then, her statement only adding to you feeling like a burden to them, never wanting them to worry, despite them knowing after all.

,,How have you been really?'' she tries again, causing you to stiffen in her arms as you hated this, especially today. ,,I've been okay Dee'' you try, causing her to simply nod, sensing that now wasn't a good time and knowing she shouldn't push you as that considerably overwhelmed you last time she had tried when mentioning her discovery at the doctors that broke all this loose. ,,So what does my sweetie have planned for today?'' she asks, causing you to shrug as you really didn't know. ,,Can I help you with anything?'' you ask, genuinely unsure what to do with yourself today. Cordelia thinks for a moment before shaking her head. ,,Nope all is taken care of sweetie'' she reassures before you feel the strange urge to leave her be, not wanting to intrude on her work further. ,,I'll leave you be'' you announce with a smile, giving her lips a little peck as she watches you leave her lap, instinctively wanting to pull you closer and hold you through it all. ,,You can stay sweetie'' she offers but you decline politely, her eyes never leaving yours as you walk out of her office, sighing heavily seeing her sunshine like this.

And you really didn't know what to do with yourself at first, sitting pathetically, lonely and broken on your bed before feeling a sudden burst of motivation and deciding to head out, feeling the strange urge to leave the academy and it all behind for moment. Fully dressed and ready, you brushed past the greenhouse where Cordelia was just about to teach a class, letting her know that you are heading out for a bit and she hated it, wanting you to have your freedom of course but worrying whether you would return. She simply lets you go, asking if you have your phone with you, which you promised her and that you wouldn't be long. At first you begin aimlessly walking along the busy streets, watching cars and people moving past you, breathing in some fresh air before your feet eventually take you to some shops. And as you pass your usual flower shop, you couldn't leave the bouquet of Delia's favourite Lillys behind, the color matching her aura so beautifully.

Walking further, you also couldn't ignore a new small shop that must have opened recently as you never caught glimpse of it before, picking up some lavender items and her favourite chocolates for Wilhemina, wrapped in a perfect beautiful little lilac basket. And at last you make it to Billie's favourite boutique having listened to her talk repeatedly for days about this new collection including a pearl necklace that she had been after. And Wilhemina had scoffed, as you remember the scene at the dinner table so fully, telling her how she has enough pearl necklaces, the one currently on her neck enough proof of it and Billie scoffing in return, lecturing her about the differences. And so at last you pick it up, making one last brief stop at your favourite take out place, picking up some dinner for the four of you, realising that by the time you returned your lovers would be home and wanting to do something nice for them. As you stroll back towards the academy a while later, it all feels a little lighter, feeling happy and content with your purchases, hoping to cheer their days a little after working hard and you mostly wasting your time away.

As you return, the academy is mostly quiet, some witches still lingering in the gardens after their dinner, you setting the table for the four of you and keeping the take out to stay warm in some bowls. Almost with a rush of excitement, you sneak into Mina's office first, leaving the lilac basket on her desk with a proud smile, knowing she was going to love it, before walking to Billie's make up table, leaving the little box with the ribbon neatly with her jewellery. And at last you make it towards Delia's office, knocking pathetically as she had already made her way downstairs, your other girlfriends having just returned, before quickly leaving the vase on her desk, content with your choices before making it downstairs. And downstairs, you are quickly greeted by Billie, pulling you into her arms, almost like a puppy seeing their owner after a long day at work. Wilhemina smiles warmly at you before greeting you with a loving kiss.

,,What did we do to deserve this special treat?'' Cordelia asks as she serves the food, not wanting you to do that on top of it all. ,,Just being you'' you announce with a smile, Billie looking at you filled with adoration and your redhead girlfriend chuckling. And so the four of you fall into easy conversation, sharing about each other's days and what they had gotten up to. It almost feels the way it did before, as your smile was genuine, so happy to be in their embraces. After dinner, Billie sneaks you away for a cigarette, Wilhemina getting ready to take her work bag towards her office and Cordelia needing to finish one last email. After the two of you return, you quickly doing the dishes, wanting to make yourself useful, while Billie watches you intently, drying the dishes for you. Both Wilhemina and Cordelia return almost at the same time, getting ready for your usual weekday night, which would probably include some cuddles on the sofa, Billie working on her phone a little, Wilhemina doing some knitting.

,,Thank you little one'' Wilhemina smiles warmly at you before pressing a kiss to your cheek. ,,What for?'' you ask a bit clueless, already forgetting about the presents you had gotten them. ,,I found the most perfect little basket on my desk'' she announces. Cordelia's features soften before she walks over to you ,,Thank you for the flowers darling'' she thanks you as she takes you into her arms. She can't help the uncomfortable feeling settle in her stomach as something didn't feel right, seeing you so happy all of a sudden and while she knew Billie would probably argue it was due to the medication, she knew about these sudden ups's meaning a big low was going to hit, unaware that you are already caught in the low.

,,And where is my present?'' Billie raises an eyebrow jokingly, before pouting. ,,On your dresser, silly Billie'' you chuckle before she glances at the other two in excitement and sprinting upstairs. Cordelia helps you finish in the kitchen, before the three of you make your ways over to the living room, settling into the comfortable sofa, Wilhemina in her armchair before Billie returns moments later. As the medium walks in, her smile is so smug and proud as she waits for the other two to figure it out. ,,Darling'' Cordelia tuts a little, tilting her head that you would have gotten her such an expensive gift, only being able to assume how much that would have cost. ,,What is it?'' Wilhemina asks confused before you point your head towards the pearl necklace. ,,Oh I almost didn't recognise it, considering you have so many'' she teases, causing Billie to roll her eyes jokingly before pulling you into her arms. ,,Thank you so *forehead kiss* so *nose kiss* so *kiss* much'' Billie thanks you, causing you to blush and chuckle.

As the four of you settle into your usual weekday routine, Billie taking countless selfies with her new necklace and posting some on social media, in absolute adoration, Wilhemina making fun of her in the process while knitting, Cordelia couldn't help but worry. She worried what the sudden gifts meant, if she was missing anything again, if this was your way of saying goodbye, despite you looking so happy in their embraces and ultimately in her arms as she holds you close. The thoughts circle her mind, all through the night after the four of you eventually make it to bed, unable to calm the raging storm and think of anything else, despite you laying softly in her arms, your breathing calm and for the first time in a while able to sleep. The supreme felt the strange urge to search your things, to check your wrists, terrified of missing this again the way she had last time, unable to just simply ask as she knew you would lie, contemplating whether to even enter your thoughts, knowing she'd cross several boundaries but knowing if she attempted it in your sleep, you may not feel it or ever know. But she could't, or could she?

And your Delia was right, the days following, you hit a new low, the physical symptoms getting stronger as they seem to drown you in it's intensity, constantly feeling nauseous, the constant urge to just spend your day next to the toilet bowl, feeling fatigued, exhausted and tired. And despite it all, the thoughts were so much worse, keeping you from forming any sentences that made sense, the constant reminder of your failure, of how you should have been more careful, never have them knowing, never have them make you take the medication again. And for the first time in a while you had hidden away today, not even managing to get out of bed for their lunch boxes, to check on Cordelia or to even get ready. You couldn't today and so you let the darkness consume you, wasting away in bed and letting the thoughts linger on your mind, for once not trying to fight them.

Meanwhile, Cordelia had been busy today, so incredibly busy at a council meeting that she put Billie and Wilhemina in charge of you, despite both of them working. The medium had tried calling you in her lunch break, Wilhemina messaging a few times but you never replied, eventually in a daze standing in the cold bathroom, the same familiar view again, the same familiar pain again, the same familiar blade again. And you hated yourself, truly hated yourself for what you had done, knowing they would know, knowing they would be furious with you. Especially a while later when you walk back to bed, seeing the several missed calls and messages, it all becomes too much, abandoning your phone and walking into the greenhouse, it now being Friday and your mind somehow still remembering that everyone would be gone. Instantly you feel a little at ease seeing the nature and being in your sanctuary but the thoughts are so loud that not even your safe space can hide you from it, shield you from it and distract you.

And so all you can do is curl up in a small corner, in between some plants, Delia's potion shelf and some abandoned work from some witches from class this morning. ,,Billie?'' Cordelia's voice rings through the speaker after finally getting a break from some of the meetings and able to call her girlfriend. ,,How is she?'' the supreme asks before finding nothing but silence at the other end of the phone. ,,Billie?'' the supreme checks again, the nervousness evident in her voice and features as she clutches the phone closer to her ear. ,,She um hasn't replied'' the medium admits, the guilt visible in her features. ,,Since when?'' the supreme questions, wondering whether you may have simply taken a nap or got caught up with something. And when silence follows again, Cordelia knows you hadn't at all which worries her even further. ,,Don't worry, Mina is heading home as we speak'' the medium reassures, stuck in a busy meeting herself but Wilhemina offering to do it as she was mostly finished for the day, reassuring Billie it was okay. ,,Please keep me posted'' Cordelia pleads before the medium replies ,,Promise''.

It doesn't take the redhead all that long to make it back into the academy, her features tense, worry washing over her as her steps lead her through the coven, trying the kitchen, living room before trying the bedroom before the realisation dawns on her to check the greenhouse. She knew whenever she couldn't find either you or Cordelia anywhere, she could eventually find you there. Her steps are light despite her inner turmoil, her cane echoing on the gravel before she reaches the grass, moments later the greenhouse. As her eyes wander around the place, she almost doesn't spot you, her heart stopping in her chest as after this there really wasn't a lot of options left and so her brain tries to think through the panic. ,,Mina?'' you startle her, causing her to shake as she really didn't expect you there. ,,Little one'' she almost sighs in relief, seeing you peak your head around a corner, book in your lap as you lay on the small sofa in the back of the greenhouse.

Her steps are rushed as she walks over, almost as if she hadn't seen you for a long time and wanted nothing more than to hold you in her arms. ,,Are you okay?'' she questions, her eyebrows furrowing as she watches you sit up, blanket wrapped around your body, looking so comfortable but yet so incredibly sad. You don't say anything, simply nodding as she takes in your features, her hand wrapped around the handle of her cane tightly, an indication she was feeling tense. ,,Why are you home? what time is it?'' you ask almost absentmindedly expecting Cordelia to be the first one to return home. ,,I finished early little one'' she explains before taking a seat beside you and as she sees your questioning eyes meeting hers she is quick to add ,,I was all done with work for today and wanted to spend it with you'' she announces. However, you knew she was lying, Mina never one to finish early randomly and knowing she was only saying that so you wouldn't feel bad, knowing full well she must have returned home because you ignored their calls and messages.

And you aren't sure what killed you more in this moment, the concern lingering in her beautiful brown eyes, making you feel even more guilty, the fact that she left work, the guilt of not answering them or the weight of your lies. And Wilhemina can tell, today really being able to tell that you must be feeling rough, seeing the very obvious signs in your face. ,,Is there anything you would like to do little one?'' she asks carefully, almost as if she could break you if she chose her words in the wrong way. ,,What would you like?'' you ask as you meet her brown eyes, wanting to simply continue wasting away and give in to the lingering darkness. Her eyes avert yours for a moment, trying to think before she speaks softly ,,How about a nice bath, just us two?'' she questions. Instantly your heart sinks in your chest, knowing this wasn't something Wilhemina would usually ask, Billie or Delia for sure but not Mina. Not your Mina who despite it all still felt self conscious about her back, not your Mina who suffered even through a relaxing bath with her posture. And it killed you, it continues killing you as everything goes quiet for a moment and your heart aches, knowing exactly why she had asked and exactly why you had to say no.

Her question is enough to make you falter, tears swelling in your eyes as you try to bite your lip to swallow the sob that was going to follow any minute, turning away from her so she wouldn't see. But your Mina wasn't oblivious of course and so she is quick to gently place her hand on your cheek, causing you to turn and meet her gaze, the first tears already streaming down your features. ,,Little one'' she sighs, watching as your face crumbles in her hands, the weight of your sadness causing the usual strong woman to frown. ,,What's the matter my darling girl?'' she asks carefully, in no way wanting to use your vulnerability to open up but knowing she may only have one shot at getting this right. ,,I don't feel good today'' you admit under tears, causing her to tilt her head a little as her brown eyes pierce through you. ,,Come here'' she instructs, pulling you into her arms as she wraps you in a hug, hoping she could fix it, put the pieces back together. ,,Mentally or physically my darling?'' she asks as you nuzzle into her further, wishing you could just hide with her forever.

,,Both'' you whisper, barely audible and if it wasn't for the silence of the greenhouse she wouldn't have heard it. And she nods then, understanding all too well, the older woman having fought quite a few battles in her lifetime and knowing all too well about getting on a new medication and the side effects those can have both mental and physical. Wilhemina doesn't do anything, besides hold you for a while, simply holding you close to her heart, while you focus on your breathing and the tears slowly dry. ,,Do you wanna talk to me little one?'' she tries as she pulls away to get a good look at her little one and her thumbs brushing some leftover tears away. Your girlfriend can sense your hesitation, assuming you are simply having a bad day with your medication, a little unsure how to comfort you when you had been so quiet about it. ,,I-'' you try to speak, thinking about how to confide in her, what you could tell her but the words get caught in your throat and die down altogether when the two of you are startled by another presence in the room.

,,Delia?'' you whisper, not expecting the supreme to be back just yet and a little confused as to why she teleported into the greenhouse. As Wilhemina meets her blonde girlfriends features her eyes instantly plead with her, not to overwhelm you with the weight of her worry, not to ask too many questions and simply let you be. And the supreme notices instantly, her tense features quickly replaced with a smile as she moves towards you both, greeting you both the way she usually would after a normal day of work. ,,So what are you both up to then?'' she asks as she takes a seat beside you, her features soft, smiling at the two of you. ,,Just talking, aren't we little one?'' Wilhemina tries, smiling softly at you, despite her eyes meeting Cordelia's and the depths in them a very different story. You could tell how worried they are, how much this was burdening them and how they tried so hard to be patient, composed and kind and it killed you even more, making your heart even heavier and the thoughts even louder.

,,Well'' the supreme smirks a little, trailing her fingers down your back gently. ,,Considering the three of us have the afternoon off, what do you feel like doing?'' she asks, her tone almost a little suggestively. Your eyes close as you try to ignore the racing thoughts, your brain feeling like it's on fire ,,Sleeping'' you whisper, unaware that those words truly just left your mouth like that but also knowing you couldn't do what Cordelia was probably thinking right now. ,,Sweetie'' the supreme tuts, tilting her head a little as she meets your eyes. ,,Are you tired little one?'' your redhead girlfriend asks gently, reaching for your hand and holding it gently. All you can do is nod at her before leaving their embraces, it all feeling a little too much right now. ,,Is that okay?'' you whisper, meeting their gazes as you stand across from them. Seeing Wilhemina's concerned eyes and Cordelia's hesitation ,,Of course darling'' they reassure before you are quick to leave, not being able to stand this any longer. ,,Thank you, I love you'' you smile.

Cordelia is quick on her feet after your last statement, the worry gnawing at her insides, having the awful feeling all day that something wasn't right, but she couldn't pinpoint it exactly but the way your eyes lingered on them for a second before leaving, the way they almost seemed to want to remember them, see them one last time. She didn't like it, her heart racing loudly against her chest, thoughts of concern filling her features. ,,Cordelia?'' her girlfriend asks, balancing on her cane before walking over to her. ,,I don't like this'' the supreme admits, being able to feel in her bones that something wasn't right. ,,She needs some rest'' the redhead tries, having seen how tired you are in your eyes before as she held you close. ,,No I-'' the blonde tries but is cut off when Wilhemina steps in front of her, placing a reassuring hand on the supremes shoulder. ,,Hey... it's okay'' the redhead tries but Cordelia isn't convinced, can't calm down and so in a rushed attempt, she frees herself from her girlfriends comfortable grasp before walking out of the greenhouse, leaving the redhead behind.

,,Y/N'' the supreme calls out after making it back into the academy, quickly up the stairs in search for you. The academy almost seemed dark, so unlike the usual brightness that Cordelia had implemented into the academy after taking over as supreme. Meanwhile you had frantically retreated to the bathroom, the thoughts getting louder with each minute passing, causing you to sink to the floor, door locked, pill box clutched in your hands. ,,Pathetic, Weak, Burden'' the words keep repeating on your mind, becoming so loud that your breathing stops working, breaths coming out ragged, tears spilling from your eyes and pathetic sobs almost little screams of pain escaping you.

Meanwhile Billie Dean had return home from work, her face filled with concern after not hearing from you all day, equally Cordelia or Wilhemina, startled when she hears two doors banging shut from upstairs. ,,Hello?'' she calls out, the defeating silence of the academy causing for her anxiety to fill her beautiful features. But there is only silence, before she watches Wilhemina open the backdoor, walking back from the gardens of the academy. Their eyes meet but before they can say anything they hear a loud noise that startles them both, causing for them to equally abruptly make their way upstairs. Cordelia had pathetically tried unlocking the door with her magic, but you had somehow managed to block it off, your body almost in auto pilot as the pills tumble into the palm of your hands. ,,Y/N sweetie open the door'' she tries over and over again before eventually having to use force to open the door, the noise not only startling your other girlfriends but also you as the pills fly across the room, your trembling hands causing to lose them and your only chance of relief.

,,No No No sweetie'' Cordelia ushers, quick to take your shaking hands and sobbing form into her arms and put you both down on the floor where she holds you as you collapse into her arms. Her eyes close, the pain wrecking through the both of you equally. ,,Delia'' you cry out in pain as you clutch to her like the most fragile thing on the planet and she holds you just like that. ,,I don't-'' you try to speak but your sobs stop you from talking further. ,,Shh it's okay, I know'' she coos, still keeping your sobbing form in place. ,,Please- don't want- them- to- see, please'' you struggle, wanting nothing more than to keep this hidden, not having them see you like this as well. But it was too late already, Billie's panicked features filling your vision as she clutches to the doorframe, holding on for support, struggling to keep herself calm seeing you in so much agony. Wilhemina's features fill your vision next as she enters the bathroom, ignoring the state, ignoring the pills, ignoring what she had missed and what Cordelia successfully figured out, her main concern looking after you, wanting nothing more than to hold you close.

And so while Billie's tear stained eyes meet Cordelia's who's heart equally breaks at the sight, Wilhemina balances on her cane, leaning against the bathtub to balance herself before opening her arms to you. ,,My sweet girl'' she coos, tears brimming in her eyes before taking you into her arms, despite your hesitation, despite your efforts to stay with Cordelia, to not have them see, to not fall apart in the woman's arms who faced even worse demons every single day. They communicate in silence, as Wilhemina takes you regardless, holding you close to her chest as your eyes close. Cordelia quick on her feet to comfort Billie, before getting rid of the reminder of what may have happened seconds ago, what they may have lost seconds ago if the supreme hadn't been so perceptive. ,,She's okay Billie, she's okay'' Cordelia reassures as she takes the shivering blonde into the bedroom, sitting her down and grounding her gently.

,,I'm sorry little one'' the redhead apologises as her head rest against yours, holding you close and gently rocking you back and forth. Her mind was equally at war, for how she missed that, for how she hadn't been careful enough, for how she hasn't supported you enough, scolding herself for not simply staying off work and looking after you, despite a small voice in the back of her mind reminding her that you wouldn't have allowed it either way. ,,Honey'' Cordelia tries, kneeling beside Wilhemina, Billie still hovering by the door. ,,Come on'' she tries ,,Your back'' she reminds the redhead but her girlfriend didn't care remotely, under no circumstances letting you go. ,,No'' she simply huffs, continuing to hold you close as meanwhile you are left a daze of tiredness and fatigue, a mix of sleep and unconsciousness. ,,Let's get her to bed'' the supreme tries, Billie's eyes equally pleading with the redhead.

However, as Cordelia gently tries to scoop you into her arms, you jolt awake, instantly the weight and regret of your actions on your mind as your eyes widen seeing their faces, jolting out of Wilhemina's arms and backing away from them. ,,Baby girl'' Billie tries while Cordelia helps Wilhemina back on her feet, the redhead quick to compose herself. ,,I-'' you try to speak but the words get caught in your throat. ,,Sweetheart it's okay, I promise'' Cordelia tries, only being able to imagine how you must be feeling right now. They watch as you continue to back away, Billie the first one to linger by the door as she couldn't let you slip away again, Wilhemina's gaze carefully following as you back away, Cordelia gently following you and reassuring that it's okay, that you are safe, that they aren't mad, aren't upset, aren't disappointed and just want to be there for you.

When your back comes into contact with the wall, your eyes shoot up in panic, realising how there wasn't anywhere to escape and in your panic you think about teleporting ,,No sweetie'' Cordelia warns, having entered your thoughts a little while ago considering the circumstances. ,,You my darling are staying right here with us, come on'' she offers, looking towards the bed or one of the armchairs in the corner. Billie panics internally, Wilhemina much more composed knowing Cordelia could coax you out of this. ,,Come here'' she tries again but you couldn't face them, couldn't even look at them as you felt utter shame, still feeling the same urge to disappear, this time for good. But you were unaware how they knew, it didn't take Cordelia's supreme magic as the words were written on your sad, guilty and broken features. ,,It's okay darling'' she reassures again as she steps forward gently, knowing any sudden movement could cause you to teleport away from them.

With a swift and quick motion she holds onto you, knowing if you tried leaving now she could at least follow but you retreat, letting her lead you to the armchair and sitting down before pulling you into her safe arms. It feels like an eternity of tears, crying, sobbing and panic until you are finally calm enough to just sit for a moment and breathe. Billie and Wilhemina both stood frozen watching the scene unfold before Cordelia softly invited and ushered them to take a seat as well. And so the four of you sit in the silence of the night, the academy deadly silent, the room dark by now, the only light source a lamp in the corner that Cordelia illuminated with her magic as well as some candles to keep you comfortable. As Billie approaches, she wraps a blanket gently around your shivering shoulders, before her hand lingers on your shoulder for a moment in a comforting manner.

You don't speak, simply sitting in silence accepting defeat, you knew this was over, you knew they wouldn't want you anymore, having burdened them far enough now. But despite it, you wanted to sit in silence with them for a minute longer, glancing at Mina's hands as you loved whenever you get to hold them, glancing at Billie's beautiful features, her cheeks that you love kissing. And at last Delia's eyes as you loved nothing more than to get lost in them. You knew they would send you away now for the weak and pathetic burden you are. ,,Darling we-'' Cordelia begins but you are quick to cut her off, scooting off her lap ,,I know'' you whisper as tears fill your vision. ,,I'll get my things'' you admit in defeat. ,,You what?'' Billie questions confused, walking over to where you are standing. ,,I know you're gonna send me away now, I understand, I'm really sorry'' you apologise, before Billie kneels down beside you, taking your hands into her own.

Wilhemina's eyes linger with tears, the shock from your statement written across the supreme's features. ,,Why would we ever send you away darling?'' the medium asks in genuine confusion, having no idea what you are talking about. As you glance at your other girlfriends, you quickly realise that they are equally confused, equally disagreeing with you. ,,Because I failed you'' you admit, your chin already wobbling. ,,Darling-'' Billie tries but it bursts out of you then, all the emotions, all the pain. ,,I failed today, and in general, I'm bad, I didn't do anything, didn't make dinner, lunchboxes, didn't answer the phone'' you sigh, tears streaming down your cheeks. ,,I haven't been honest with you, I messed up again'' you admit, glancing at your sleeves and Billie is quick to rub her thumbs over your hands as she is still holding them. ,,I'm a burden, pathetic, I ruined your day, all I do is ruin your life''.

Each admission sends a pang of pain through their features, each confession more painful then the other and especially Wilhemina has a hard time listening to you putting yourself down in such a way. ,,I messed up Billie'' you almost helplessly look at her, the guilt crushing you whole. ,,Darling'' she tries again, tears equally streaming down her features. ,,You-'' she begins as she now takes your wet cheeks into her hands ,,Have been so so brave darling and you have been doing so well'' she admits, her eyes sparkling with honesty as you listen to her words. ,,Sweetheart, this isn't your fault, these are the side effects, you are not at fault'' Cordelia joins in, nodding a little to make her statement more believable. And when you see the honesty in their eyes, the weight lifts a little from your shoulders as if they shushed each demon with their words.

,,Come here little one'' Wilhemina instructs, her features soft as she pats her lap. ,,It will be okay, maybe not now, maybe not for a while but it will be okay and we will never send you away, I promise you''. And with each word she makes you feel a little calmer, stopping the racing thoughts, your racing heartbeat and all the doubts filling your mind. ,,We appreciate all the things you do for us sweetie but you never need to do them. We love you for who you are'' Cordelia reassures as she reaches for your hand. ,,Even-?'' you question but she cuts you off ,,Yes'' she reassures, a sad smile filling her features.

The four of you sit in silence for a while before the medium speaks again ,,What would you like darling?'' Billie asks gently, giving you her sweetest and most compassionate smile. ,,Dinner, a nice bath, go to bed?''. You hesitate for a moment, glancing between them and feeling guilty for how they had come home from work to this. ,,Can I make you dinner?'' you ask carefully before Billie tilts her head, Cordelia and Wilhemina giving you a little look. ,,But I didn't do anything today and I didn't make your after work bath Mina'' you pout.

,,Darling- can we just take care of you for once please?'' Cordelia pleads as her eyes travel to your own. You end up giving in, Billie and Cordelia retreating to the kitchen to prepare some dinner for you after running a bath for you and Mina. And it felt strange, having to undress in front of her with the fresh marks on your skin but as she washes you gently, sitting behind you, she is so so gently again, as she tends to your hair, delicate skin, washing all the worries and pain away with the kindness of the world. ,,Mina?'' you ask, almost whispering as she washes the conditioner from your hair ,,Yes darling?'' she asks, resting her chin on your shoulder. ,,Are you sure I didn't disappoint you today?'' you whimper, the thoughts still lingering on your mind. ,,Never my sweet girl'' she reassures. ,,You are so so brave and I couldn't be prouder of you'' she whispers while she continues washing your hair gently.

By the time the two of you are finished and downstairs, your girlfriends features almost melt, seeing you so comfortable in some warm pyjamas, your hair neatly braided and your face seeming much more calmer and content than before. It felt horrible to you at first, being so exposed in front of Wilhemina and her seeing the wounds this battle had left on you. But she was so gentle, so calm and so comforting that it caused the thoughts to quieten for a while and so you manage to quickly relax in their embrace, actually eat dinner with them. They didn't bring it up again, despite their faces still etched with concern and minds lingering on what could have happened if it wasn't for Cordelia's quick thinking and noticing. But they knew there was nothing they could say or do in this moment to make this any better. They knew the only thing they could do was be more careful and support you more, Billie and Cordelia already having agreed to work from home now and the supreme giving some classes to Zoe in order to look out for you more, spend more time with you and be there every step of the way on this battle. They knew it was still going to be hard but the three of them feel confident with their ability to get you through this.

#sarah paulson #cordelia goode #wilhemina venable #ahs #american horror story #billie dean howard #asks #sarah paulson x reader #cordelia goode x reader #wilhemina venable x reader #billie dean howard x reader

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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scatterpatter · 19 days

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So I made a sketch comic- sort of a vent, I guess? Mainly about plurality, and feelings on a past abuser and the lingering trauma, all to a part who didn't experience the trauma for himself... But realized it could be quite triggering so heed the following warnings!

Mentions of trauma and abuse (nothing explicit), showing alters in distress from the trauma

Speaking to the abuser in second person, in a very personal context (ex. "You did this to me" language). This comic is not targeted towards any of my followers/mutuals/anyone who sees it, but if you are easily triggered or otherwise made uncomfortable by the very personal language usage, please skip and know this is not targeted towards you

Eye contact and unsettling eye imagery

Brief blood imagery and mentioning wanting to bring harm to an abuser

All under the cut, proceed with caution!

I want to make it clear: We are okay, I just wanted to express my personal feelings on dealing with one of my system's traumas.

And for legal reasons: I do not actually wish to harm anyone, and have no intentions to do so. I harbor malice, and went a bit harsh on the imagery/language used to depict my malice, but our system is safe and we don't intend to bring any harm to anyone, regardless of how they harmed us

... Also if you got this far, bonus doodle of how me and one of my alters is now unwinding, to bring the positive vibes back <3

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infected-paul · 8 months

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i call this one ali try-cry-why-try at her happiest...

#ali.art #+ also #ali.txt #i guess #ramble + thoughts follow #soooo... drawing yourself can be really good for your self esteem/confidence #ik no ones probably reading this or caring but this means A LOT to me...#my art style is kinda made for drawing ME #overalls and sweater are most accurately me btw #also this helped with practicing my art style which has been all over the place lately.#OKAY and now for fit + hair:#1) around 2021 to 2022 #otherwise known as one of the best times of my life rivaled only by fall of 2019 #is me in middle school with my bleached ends AND when i first got bangs (and never looked back)#i wore this white oversized sweater on my uniform (navy polo and khaki pants) and the whole Ali Look became so popular among the younger #girls who all copied the bangs bleached ends and white sweater and khakis I WAS a trendsetter!!! lmao #i chose that for the space buns. A signature Ali hairstyle. i did them a lot back then.#2) is back around april when i cut my hair about chin to mid neck long it was crazy layered kinda 70s punk rock look #i drew my belle cosplay as the fit bc i look pretty in it okay... i did not have it back then but i did not remember when drawing lmb #it's on my black platform heeled boots bc that's a must #3) just me with a ponytail #and!! my moon earring with just a sparkly stud earring!! my fav #4) MY MOST recent aqquired clothing THE BLUSH PINK OVERALLS #i love them so so so much #they're so cute and comfy #and my hair has grown out and i died the bottom half of it an almost burgundy a while ago #anyway that is how i look today!!#anyway tysm to anyone who's lasted through all that lmaooo #also if u want i can talk more !!! abt any if it!!! just ask me any questions!!!

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inkskinned · 10 months

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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

#warm up #this isn't good #writeblr #this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3 #but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker #and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS #the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!?#..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much.#on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt #and medical debt #i will put that first little bit of cash #into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments)#i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option #but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver #oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs

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ezraphobicsoup · 9 months

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woah isn’t it just crazy that after going to bed before 12 and sleeping a healthy amount i don’t feel as ill as yesterday,, i mean who would’ve thought it

#i did have strange dreams though #ones that probably wouldn’t make sense to anyone cause no one knows all the people that featured #i think the highlight was that i was having an argument with someone or something? or she didn’t like me anymore #and i hadn’t seen her in a while so when i saw her i went up to her but she didn’t want to talk #so i just sort of gently threw one of those kirby plushies at her then smiled and left #i think it worked i don’t remember now #anyway yeah the lurgy has mostly gone away but i am in extreme levels of dehydration so i might do something about that #yeah if you’re reading this i would recommend also practicing self care cause it does actually make you feel better :O

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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sweet-as-an-angel · 4 months

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so! you mentioned in the 'p0rn preferences' post that Gaz is not the one who jerks off the most in the 141, and I humbly ask you, who would that be?

I don't mean this as a request, just a little discussion, cause I feel like Soap would just be going at it at any chance possible, like a bunny. he probably doesn't care much if someone hears it, but that's just me thinking too much into it.

Who Jerks off the Most in the 141 + König

Warnings: 18+, Heavy Mentions of Masturbation, Male Masturbation, Implied Reader in Individual Headcanons, Accidental and Implied Voyeurism, Edging, Brief Mention of Injury, Men Who Moan <3, No Pronouns Used For Reader Except 'You'.

A/N: As per Anon's question (which I just had to turn into a post of its own) I present to you the list of the 141 members (and König) who jerk off from the most to least <3

Soap

I have to agree with you here, Anon - Johnny is most definitely the king of self love when it comes to the 141.

He doesn't much care where he is or who he's with; when he has to satisfy his needs, he'll do so.

Though, he'll spare whoever's with him the sight of watching him throwing his head back, trying to stifle his moans behind gritted teeth whilst the wet sound of his hand slipping up and down the length of his shaft fill the room.

Unless they want to.

For one reason or another, he's nigh-insatiable when it comes to his libido, and the fact that his stamina affords him the luxury of beating himself off until his cum is practically translucent doesn't help.

The slightest thing can set him off.

Someone brushing past him ? Hard.

Someone stroking his ego a little too enthusiastically ? Bricked up.

He sees something that's shaped to be a little too curvy or phallic ? Stiff as a pole.

He remembers something mildly suggestive you did three years ago in that restaurant ? He's going to the Horny Realm.

Yes, his teammates have complained about his incessant moaning-come-grunting-come-whimpering through all hours of the night, his voice contorting through a spectrum of desperation and Johnny always ending up spent and overstimulated by the time the sun comes up.

And then he's ready to do it all again the second night touches the horizon line, giving his teammates a knowing smile when he walks into the room sporting nothing else save for a pair of boxers and a monster that looks to be trying to tear itself free from them.

Gaz

Dude's young. Of course he's throttling that rooster on a nigh-daily basis.

The only reason he's not at it as much as Soap is because he likes to believe he still has a few threads of his self-restraint intact.

He doesn't.

Especially when it comes to you (regardless of whether you're dating yet or not).

But he doesn't need to know that.

Honestly, the only thing that separates him from Johnny's unmatched libido is the fact that it takes a little more than the slightest provocation to get Gaz going.

Albeit, that line is a thin one.

If he so much as accidentally sees something explicit for upwards of three seconds, he's hard.

The only advantage of his need for satisfaction is the speed with which he can achieve it.

He and Johnny actually timed each other once to see who could get off the fastest.

Gaz won. Though, only by a slim margin.

Needless to say, that made for a rather interesting conversation with the Captain when he walked in on two of his best soldiers sat panting on the edge of their cots, an almost-translucent spray spattered across their stomachs, eyes half-lidded and hazy.

Ghost

The third-in-line for the Throttle Throne is none other than our beloved Ghost.

Unlike Johnny and Gaz, Ghost is more likely to leave himself alone at the first sign of trouble, toughing it out until he can will his mind to less lustful pastimes.

He won't make his jacking off known to anyone, either, often doing it in the shower where the water beats down so harshly that no sound can be heard for the water's fall.

That, and he's a master at keeping his voice low, no matter the circumstances.

More often than not, Simon makes quick work of jerking off purely because it’s a means to an end. However, if it’s you he’s thinking of, he’s much more likely to take his time — to immerse himself in the fantasy of your body around his, taking him so well in one capacity or another. Fucking yourself dumb on his cock.

During these times, he’s thorough — much more likely to edge himself, to throw his head back and growl between gritted teeth, to savour the sensation coiling in his stomach, his balls growing tight.

Otherwise, he’ll stroke one out as quickly as he can, getting back to business as usual.

And to look at him, on the surface, you'd never know that he just spent the last three minutes rubbing one out in the bathroom (yes, he is also a contender for first place in the 'Who Can Jack Off The Quickest Competition', but he'll never allow Johnny or Gaz the luxury of witnessing his unprecedented skill; that's for your eyes only).

Until he corners you, breathing down your neck, scolding you for tempting him - a man whose restraint lies only in his ability to hold off from reducing you to an exponential reflection of his prior state, breathless and covered in fluids.

König

Have you seen the size of that thing ? Man should be in the olympics for being able to throw that weight around.

Similarly to Ghost, König only gets himself off when it's absolutely necessary.

Only if he doesn't have you lying around to help him, of course.

Though, he lets himself have a bit of fun with it. Especially if it's been a tough day.

He's vocal, too. Though he tries not to be.

He just can't help it. Days' - maybe even weeks' - worth of unspent adrenaline and semen is hardly any way for a soldier like König to go about his life. So, he expels it in the privacy of quite literally any isolated space he can find.

König is not an adventurous spirit by any means when it comes to self pleasure, but when needs must, he's willing to shoulder the weight of the prospect that someone on his team could walk in at any second and catch him spraying his stomach or the wall white with, let's face it, thick ropes of cum.

Hong-Jin's actually caught him doing that before now.

That's actually how the two became friends: Horangi heard König grunting in the store cupboard and, knowing how stubborn his Colonel was with letting others know when he was injured, sought him out. Wanted to offer his help.

Catching Colonel König in the act of throwing his head back whilst growling the name '(Y/N)' into the darkest corner of the room was, suffice it to say, not what Horangi had been expecting.

Price

You just know he's cool with it. And by 'cool', I mean incredibly intentional, controlled, and not ravenous in the ways our other favourite military princesses are.

Sure, Price has gotten hard on the job a few times.

Who hasn't ?

But thanks to his level head, unwavering devotion to his work, and absolute refusal to acknowledge that he did, in fact, get a little bit of a chub during a shoot-out, he's managed to gain control over every facet of his body.

Until he comes home to you, of course.

Until he's able to loom over you like an omen and run his hands down your sides, stopping at your hips and pressing kisses that become more open-mouthed the further down the side of your neck he dips.

Pressing his hips into yours. Something demands your attention.

There have been very few occasions where a cold shower wasn't a quick enough fix for him.

When the days of having you milk him are too far out of sight, he's had to suffice with his own hands before now. Had to imagine - remember - what yours felt like in his place, your lips curled up as he gripped the chair arms, breathless as he moaned into the warm tones of your shared apartment.

But don't worry ! He'll be sure to catch you up on everything you've missed while he's been away once he returns.

Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)

Masterlist Masterlist [Continued] Masterpost Modern Warfare AI Masterlist

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slutforln4 · 30 days

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high enough

🖇️ in which you get high and fuck your brothers teammate

🖇️ lando norris x piastri!reader

🖇️ warnings: sex under the influence, no condom (wrap it before you tap it folks!), 2.3k words :)

🖇️ a pretty self indulgent fic, but i hope you guys like it!

🖇️ songs that fit: so high - doja cat / slow down - chase atlantic / friends - chase atlantic / sex money feelings die - lykke li / the morning - the weeknd / cherry hill - russ

You watched as the smoke rose to the ceiling after the soft puff past your lips. The swirling of smoke hypnotised you, before it twirled and disappeared into nothing.

The joint burned between your fingers when you passed it to Lando. “You have a few puffs left.”

Lando was completely out of it, practically melting into the couch when he mindlessly lifted his arm and softly plucked the joint from your fingers. You turned your head and watched as he brought it to his lips, taking a long drag before pulling the burning bud away from his face.

He could feel your gaze on him, burning about five times as hot as the smoke in his lungs. He can’t lie and say he doesn’t like you staring when all he’s been thinking of was making your eyes roll back into your head. The image of you sprawled across the couch, his lips soaked in you and moans leaving your mouth was enough to make him go crazy.

“You’re taking too long,” you rush him. He turns his head to you, half-lidded eyes hiding so much more than what he lets you see. You could look at those green hues forever, but the soft pull of his lips pulls you back into reality. Or as much of it as you can comprehend in this state.

Lando motions to the joint in his fingers. “You want another hit?”

“Yeah,” you nod, about to take the bud from his hand before he pulls it to his mouth and takes a long drag. “What the–”

Your question gets interrupted when Lando’s hand firmly grips the back of your head and pulls your face in. When he blows the smoke out, you’re quick to understand what he’s doing and suck the smoke in.

Lando smiled to himself as he pulled away, watching how starstruck you were by what he just did.

Even though all he meant to do was to shotgun smoke into your mouth, you can’t help but pull him in to close the gap between your lips. The urge to kiss him was too much to handle for you, even when sober, but the confidence to finally kiss him came when being inebriated.

Lando can’t deny that he’s been thinking the same— he’s been pondering the thought of kissing your lips way before you decided to smoke. He’s been waiting for you to make the first move, knowing you definitely would at some point, and he wasn’t wrong.

Smoke left the crevices forming between your lips as you moulded against one another, hungry hums and whimpers already leaving your throats. Lando’s hands softly pulled your hips closer to him until you ended up in his lap.

The mere feeling of you sat on him, already pulsing against him, had his mind reeling. You felt him hardening underneath you, perfectly slotting his boner against your clothed entrance.

You smirked into the kiss, a single thought popping into your head— teasing him.

The two of you had made a deal. You’d spend some time together, just as friends, before trying to be in a relationship. That seemed to work, for about three weeks, until this night when you invited Lando to hang out. It was supposed to be nothing but you watching a movie together, until you remembered the leftover weed in your grinder.

You remember the light in his eyes when he heard you mention weed. “It’s been a while since I’ve had any,” he said. But you promised to take care of him.

And take care of him you will.

Lando’s mind is a mush, any movement he makes feels like he’s slowed down or like it’s missing frames, so he doesn’t understand that you’re softly rocking your hips against him until he feels the need to fuck you again.

“Love,” his raspy voice whispers against your numb lips, fingers digging into your skin to stop your movements. “What’re you doing?”

“Hm?” You pull away, softly biting your lips as your hands brace you against his chest, hips stilling above his dick. “What do you mean?”

You watch as his lips pull into a smirk again. “Don’t play stupid,” he murmured, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “If you want me to fuck you, just say that.”

The tone of his voice mixed with the haze settling in your mind just after that last puff of smoke you had is making you think less and do more. Instead of answering him, you crash your lips onto his again and subconsciously go back to rocking your hips again.

He smirks against your mouth, guiding your hips to grind harder against him. You whimper and he catches the noise with his mouth, tongue swirling against yours when you wrap your fingers softly around the base of his neck.

Lando’s hands softly tug on the waistband of your sweatpants. “Take them off.”

You hum, lips still connected to him as you lift yourself up and tug your pants down. They pool at your knees, you still straddling Lando. “Can’t do it.”

“You want me to do it for you?” He asks, more of a mock than a laugh leaving his mouth. When you nod, eyes still half-lidded and examining him, he lays you down with your head on the armrest of the couch. You watch carefully as he softly tugs your sweatpants lower, before completely tugging them off your body.

Lando sits back, hands on your knees as he memorises the view of you— underwear soaked with your need for him, sticking to the curves of your pussy so perfectly that it leaves little to the imagination.

“Can I?” Lando asks, fingers hooking around the waistband of your panties. You nod, like you’ve been doing for pretty much this whole exchange, and he can’t help but beg you to speak. “You gotta use your words, baby.”

“Please,” you beg, voice hushed as if you’re scared anyone in your empty house would hear you. “Touch me, I need you.”

Lando laughed, almost pitifully at your state as he pulled the panties down your legs, agonisingly slow. You were too high to function enough, so your plea for him to move faster came out as an annoyed grumble.

“Impatient much?” Lando laughed, hands softly dragging their way up your legs from your ankles. When he notices the lack of response from you, he stills. “You okay? How do you feel?”

“I’m good,” you mumble, peeling your eyes open to look up at his worried eyes. “But you could make me feel much better.”

You smile at the return of his smirk. You’ve grown quite fond of it, getting used to the look of his dimples returning. “I’ll make you feel so good, baby. Are you sure you want this, though? You know what Osc would do if he found out.”

“But he won’t,” you bite back a smirk of your own, propping yourself up on your elbows. “He doesn’t have to know about everything I do.”

“Atta girl.” He smiles before positioning himself between your legs. “Lean back and relax for me, pretty.”

You do as told, laying back on the couch and looking up at the ceiling. It took you a moment to realise that he was just looking at you, admiring the view in front of him.

It’s exactly what he imagined. He couldn’t help but watch as your chest rose and fell with fast-paced breaths, anticipation creeping up your spine with each moment. It took everything he had in him not to fuck you right then and there.

Instead, he dragged his tongue through your folds, the taste of you being almost as satisfying than what he thinks fucking you will feel like. Lando wants to take it easy and make the most of your high, so that’s exactly what he’ll do.

It doesn’t take long before he hears the pretty moans fall from your lips at the mere contact of his tongue on your clit. He circles it, gently sucking on it and you feel like you’re floating in space, so relaxed and pleased that it’s almost too much to take.

“Taste so fucking good,” he groans against you, the sound vibrating through your body. You felt some pressure on your clit, his tongue circling it again.

Jagged breaths leave your lips, the feeling of his lips softly suckling on you mixed with the buzz from the joint tipped you over the edge way sooner than you’d expect. You felt the euphoria was over you as he still flicked his tongue over your sensitive bud.

“Lan,” you murmur, fingers somehow in his hair and tugging hard on it. You felt the pattern of his curls embrace your fingers as you arched your back, almost pulling away from him.

Lando wouldn’t have that. His hands firmly gripped your hips and pinned them down. Instead of letting you squirm away, he forced his tongue onto your clit harder, using the base of it to get as much surface area as he can get.

You felt dizzy. It’s the first time you’ve done anything sexual while high and it was better than anything you’ve ever imagined. You almost feel numb, as if you were melting into the couch.

Lando felt your hips tense in his hands, knowing you’re close to tipping over the edge, so he does what he promised you he’d do. He makes you feel the fucking best.

His tongue licks you like he’s a starved man, thirsty for anything he can get his pretty little lips on. And it just so happened to be you.

Lando basks in the pretty whimpers leaving your mouth and the flavour of you on his tongue, not noticing how he let one of his hands travel down to his dick. He palms himself through the fabric of his grey sweatpants, a wet spot already evident.

You feel him moan into your pussy, sending that last nervous impulse that makes you finish all over his mouth. He laps you up, satisfied groans and moans escaping between shallow breaths.

Lando keeps his lips on your skin, kissing your thighs before softly biting them. He mumbles something to you but you can’t hear, too busy looking at the pathetic mess of a man at the end of the couch— sloppily marking your thighs while he continues to palm himself.

“Let me help you,” you whisper and he whips his head up. You watch as he sits up, tugging his sweats down and leaving his boxers on.

Lando watches as you straddle his thighs and softly tug down the Jack&Jones waistband of his boxers. He hisses when his dick flings up and slaps against his clothed abdomen.

It’s your turn to hear the string of curse words and moans leave his mouth as you drag his tip across your folds before sinking onto him, his dick filling you up in just the right way.

“Fuck, baby,” he hums contently, one of his hands palming the back of your neck before he pulls you in for a kiss. “You take me so well, so fucking well.”

You whimper into his mouth, slowly moving your hips after getting used to the size of him. His breath hitches, eyes rolling to the back of his head as you sink back onto him again.

The pace of you riding him quickens in no time, the noise of skin-on-skin contact filling up the empty space of your room.

Lando’s fingers tangle in your hair as he turns your head to the side, lips making a trail of kisses down from your jaw and ending at your collarbone, with the occasional hickey or nibble between kisses.

“Lando,” you moan his name the second you make contact with your clit, lazily rubbing it to match the pace of your hips clashing against his.

His lips make contact with yours again, kissing you with an aggression you’ve never felt before. It was borderline addicting, kissing you. Like a drug Lando knows he would never stop taking.

“You sound so pretty moaning my name,” he mumbles between kisses, not long before his tongue tastes your mouth again.

“I’m close,” you whine, arm tired from rubbing your clit. Lando notices the twitch of your hand and takes over, his thumb matching the pace you had set before.

His hips buckle and a knot forms in your lower belly at the feeling of him pulsing even deeper inside you, your walls embracing his length perfectly. “Me too. Think you can gimme another one?”

“Mhm,” you nod, eagerly. “Please.”

“You don’t have to beg for me to make you cum, princess.” His mocking tone soothes your ears. It’s quite an opposite feeling from the harsh grip he has on your hip with his left hand, the other still toying your throbbing clit.

It’s a few seconds before you feel a warmth filling you up, a string of moans and curses leaving Lando’s lips. It doesn’t take long for you to do the same, head tilted back and chest heaving with hasty breaths and an unsteady heartbeat.

Lando’s hands still guide your hips for a bit longer, before coming to a halt. The green in his eyes traces all over your face, looking for a sign of anything negative. Instead he finds that you’re grinning.

“You good?” He asks, fingers softly tucking the strands of hair that stuck to your sweaty forehead.

“Never been better,” you reciprocate the same thing, playing with the curls at the front of his head. “But you fucked me so good I’m not high anymore.”

“Want me to roll another one?”

“No,” you lean in and close the gap between your lips. “Kissing you gets me high enough.”

#formula one #formula 1 #f1 #lando norris #daniel ricciardo #f1 x reader #max verstappen #charles leclerc #lando x reader #lando norris fanfic #f1 x you #formula one fanfic #formula one fanfiction #formula 1 x reader #lando norris smut #lando norris x reader #lando norris x y/n

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loriache · 29 days

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Butch up that Elf: my Marcille manifesto

TBQH, this came into being because the Falin "dragoness" fanart rewired my brain completely. It's sillytimes, but we're going to make a serious argument: trying out being a little butch would Fix Her.

1. Marcille Gender Discomfort

Now, Marcille LOVES feminity. She loves playing dressup, she loves elaborate gowns, she spends her free time going to the spa - the absolute last thing I want is to deny that. However, there's also a definite vibe that this isn't just a preference. Specifically, the way that she pushes Falin towards femininity suggests that she isn't comfortable with gender nonconformity in the people around her.

If this was something she was 100% confident about ("I'm doing this for myself and nobody else!") surely what other people do wouldn't be a big deal? Of course, you can read this as a little bit of solipsism; "what works for me must work for you too! I think this is so cute and would suit you - wouldn't you agree?"

But for the sake of this argument, all I'm trying to suggest is that gender nonconformity (and probably sexual nonconformity... well, frankly, any kind of sexuality at all) is unlikely to be something that's on Marcille's "radar". She hasn't tried out other ways of presenting and decided she doesn't like them. I do think she'd be a very flamboyant butch - "ouji lolita" vibes, you know? It's a whole new set of wardrobe options she could play dress-up in, even.

After the story ends, she starts dressing like her mother in all black, which makes sense - her mother was also a court magician, so she's probably emulating her in order to project confidence and authority. But I can't say I think she should stick with this. Break away and be your own person, Marcille! Try a fancy waistcoat and frilled jacket!

2. Haircut

This is another potential hard sell, I'm sure. The people she loves doing her hair is a cute symbol of their care for her, and her hair is key to her magic - so there's plenty of reason for her to keep it long. But like... think practically. Having someone do your hair every morning, for the whole of her long life, while it gets messier over the day (because she can't remember to keep it neat)... That's got to be such a pain. My hair gets messy when I put a hoodie on. And I have short hair.

It would require her to go through a change of mind, and probably a little more growth in how secure she feels in her relationships, but - the hairdo's a symbol. The more important thing is the relationships themselves. Eventually I think there might be something liberating about cutting it off, even if she might eventually decide to grow it out again.

The lion, her trauma, took something away from her which was really important to her. The people around her are able to make that easier, and make up for it, and soften that loss, but... Mithrun isn't the person he was before, you know? He's a new person. The relationship he has with his brother is new, and I don't know if it's one that the person he was before could have had. If Falin hadn't died, they wouldn't have gone on that wonderful adventure! They wouldn't have met Senshi or saved Izutsumi and Laios and Marcille wouldn't have gotten so close. So I think it's totally congruent with the themes of the story that the burning away of this part of Marcille's self might eventually create the potential for new growth in a new direction, not clinging onto the parts that are gone.

This also isn't totally out of the norm for elven mages - both Otta and Flamela have short hair. Otta is canonically butch, and potentially Flamela reads that way to elves too, but the point is it clearly is possible to be an accomplished mage without long hair.

3. Desiring (to be) a chivalrous prince

Marcille's succubus is clearly General Halleus from her favourite book series, the Daltian Clan. The fact that this is her ideal man.... it certainly plays into readings of her as Not Straight. But at least, this conveys the way her conception of sex and romance is strongly idealised, dissociated from the bodily and from physical desire.

There are many ways to interpret that, including thinking about what types of desire this fixation is obstructing because she is not comfortable with it, but I am going to focus here on what this desire does signify. She likes the trappings of courtly romance, and is clearly comfortable putting herself in the role of the princess, being taken away on a white horse by a noble (but tormented; eyepatch has "death" on it lmao) prince. (Though I think he's actually the token male lead who isn't royalty; he's a General. There's always one in Romfan, lmao. IYKYK)

A kiss on the hand - this is so chaste, I think it's clear it's more about desire to play a role in a dynamic than it is about desire in a physical sense. There is undoubtedly a big part of Marcille that wants to be a beloved and chased-after princess, but I think it isn't at all impossible that she'd also enjoy being the powerful, cool, and chivalrous "prince" to someone (a pretty girl, perhaps) who needs her protection.

This is a little silly, because it's clearly just aping the shoujo artstyle that articulates basically the same idea as her succubus, that Marcille is attached to highly abstracted and idealised romantic (and Romantic) tropes and ideas. But the imaginary "successful" Marcille from chapter 4 looks quite similar to her succubus. (Another thing I noticed is that in the fantasy she has sharp ears... like full elves have. Despite what she says, I think the cultural messaging that this trait is "attractive" and hers are inferior got to her at least a bit. 😥)

Also, the way that she treats Falin, scolding her indulgently, trying to look after her and wanting to be looked up to and respected by her... that aligns more with the "masculine" role in the trope that her succubus is referencing. "What are we going to do with you...?" I can imagine her saying this to Falin, word for word. Whereas, if anyone real started talking down to her, even affectionately, I don't think she'd like it, given the negative way she reacts when people don't respect her or her skills. Especially after canon, given the way the Winged Lion was treating her.

Her attitude to Falin is partially down to her reluctance to acknowledge Falin as an adult, who is independent and can grow beyond her and leave her behind. But I think even as they move on from that unhealthy dynamic, Marcille is still going to get pleasure from feeling capable, reliable, able to look after and protect Falin. She'd like to pull the chair out for her in a restaurant on a date, you know?

4. Conclusion

Even after the growth she goes through during the story, there are parts of Marcille's character that are very much obstructed. Romance, sexuality, and gender, feel like one of those to me. The way that her discomfort with the messy origins of food betrayed a deeper, more significant discomfort with the cycles of life and death.

Much in the same way, I'd argue that the simplified, idealistic, and safely fantastical way that she views romance, as well as her very "safe" gender presentation and tendency to push it onto others as well, suggest an underlying discomfort in her own gender and sexuality. The character growth she goes through leaves her in a place where it may be possible to safely re-evaluate her relationship with Falin, as well as her choice of clothing and hairstyle, both things that go through a change at the end of the manga. Neither, I think, reach a sustainable stopping point that we see - there will be a point when it's more servants doing her hair than friends, just out of practicality, because they're all going to be so, so busy. The black clothing to copy her mum is cute, but once she gets some more self-confidence in her own skills as a court magician, I think she'll move on from it. And... who knows what direction her relationship with Falin will develop, over the years? I'm rooting for them, anyway.

In all those cases, I think moving outside of the things she's done before, into something really different from the things that are "safe" and expected, will be the most rewarding path for her. Like in the dungeon, things that she would initially reject were actually able to sustain her and broaden her tastes. She loves dressing up, looking after people, and "princely romance". So I say: Butch Marcille! It'll be good for her!!

#og post #marcille donato #falin x marcille #farcille #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi meta #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #dunmeshi

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messyoungie · 3 months

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SELF CARE DAY FOR LOW ENERGY DAYS

it’s important to have different routines ready to match your mood and energy level. which is why I believe preparing for self care days for when you’re just not feeling your best is essential and a great way to look out for yourself. here’s my guide to self care days for low energy.

✧ 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓

despite your low energy, it’s important you still get your daily movement. however, exercise doesn’t always have to be intense.

try doing one of these

— 2 minutes of touching/trying to touch your toes

— 5-7 minutes of full body stretching

— 10 minutes of yoga

or maybe just stretch your neck, roll your shoulders, and take a few deep breaths. whatever you’re ready to do :)

links to short low energy workouts:

5 minute morning yoga

11 minute stress relief yoga

10 minute lazy girl workout

8 minute good morning pilates

✧𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃

do something for your mind. journal, get your thoughts out, meditate, read five pages of an inspiring book. do something that you will love and that your mind will thank you for. whether it’s sitting in silence for a few minutes or playing a game that’ll challenge your brain.

journaling prompts <3

++ what’s been draining your energy recently?

++ what’s been giving you positive energy recently?

++ what’s your focus been on lately?

++ what are three things you’re happy are in your life?

++ how is my environment impacting my energy?

if your energy is low I really recommend writing about it. what’s making you tired? reflect on it and go easy on yourself.

✧𝐓𝐎 𝐃𝐎 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

the last thing you want to do is give your mind the responsibility of remembering your tasks. i don’t care how little you have on your schedule, write a to do list. on a low energy day, it’s important we’re easy on ourselves. getting everything out of our head and onto a piece of paper will not only make tasks seem more manageable but will also make our minds feel a bit lighter.

write everything. I mean it. even the small and seemingly insignificant tasks. even the parts of your routine that you do everyday anyways, write it all down.

✧𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒

even though we’re a little bit down, that doesn’t mean we can cheat on the promises and boundaries we made with ourselves.

a low energy day doesn’t mean you can jump right back into your old habits. you’ll only feel worse if you do. it can be comforting to spend the whole day in bed, liking relatable TikToks and having a 7 hour screen time. but that’s not real rest. do something that’ll nourish you while also making you feel relaxed and comfortable. whether that’s watching an episode of your comfort show, rereading a chapter of your favorite book, or listening to your all time favorite songs while you just relax.

low energy is not a reason to practice unhealthy bad habits.

✧𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐘

how do we enjoy a low energy self care day besides the usual rest and relaxation? by doing some activities!!

things you can do on a low energy self care day:

++paint

++do your own nails

++movie marathon of your fave genre

++install and try out different cute & cozy games on your device

++bubble bath

++make a Pinterest board or Moodboard that will inspire you to be the best version of yourself

thank you for reading, take care!! ♡

— messyoungie

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wonnieaura · 4 months

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GETTING INTO YOUR SOFT GIRL ERA

Your soft girl era is all about embracing your natural beauty, indulging in self-care, and connecting with nature. Here are the steps you can take to get into your soft girl era:

1. Practice self-care: Take the time to do things that make you feel relaxed and pampered. These can include taking a hot bath, doing a skincare routine, or drinking a warm cup of tea.

2. Focus on skincare: Soft girls believe in the importance of skincare and skincare products that are gentle on the skin. Invest in high-quality skincare products that are natural and contain ingredients like jojoba oil, hyaluronic acid, or rosehip oil.

3. Embrace your hair texture: Soft girls often have soft, wavy or curly hair that they let dry naturally or style in a sleek and understated way. Avoid heat and damaging hair products, and instead focus on giving your hair moisture and shine.

4. Choose a cozy and comfortable style: Soft girls often wear comfy and laid-back outfits, often accompanied by cozy sweaters and cardigans. They love comfortable shoes and prefer a more natural and minimal makeup look.

5. Connect with nature: Soft girls believe in the healing power of nature and often find ways to incorporate it into their day-to-day routine. Go for walks in nature, read a book in a park, and incorporate natural elements into your home decor.

6. Practice mindfulness: Soft girls prioritize self-care and believe in the importance of taking care of both their physical and mental health. Practice yoga, meditation, or journaling to reconnect with themselves.

7. Cultivate a positive mindset: Soft girls prioritize mental health and focus on cultivating a positive mindset. Practice positive thinking, gratitude, and learn to accept and appreciate who you are and what you have.

Remember, being a soft girl is all about embracing your natural looks and focusing on self-care and connecting with nature so do not put too much pressure on yourself. You deserve to live the best life 💕

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etherealkissed88 · 5 months

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learn indifference ⋆˙✧⋆

indifference = “lack of interest, lack of concern”

since we already know the 3d is always neutral and has no original meaning, we know that as the operant power we are the ones that assign ‘circumstances’ and ‘negative’ thoughts meaning.

we should continue being indifferent to the 3d meaning we dont care how it looks because it never means anything. being indifferent means no giving the 3d power, energy, no entertaining thoughts that dont serve us, no holding our desires above the pedestal, no accepting and creating stories based on our current 3d and dwelling in them.

remember that we are not our thoughts, we are not our circumstances, we are not our emotions, doubts, states, or anxieties. our past experiences have no power over us until we decide it does.

how to be indifferent:

be internally fulfilled (satisfy your inner self w the desire which is now reality) so that you feel the knowing of already having your desire which means it will be easier to not give a fuck about the 3d

accept the end and only the end: know that the 3d could be changing in your favor for example, a lady was manifesting a better high paying job and she got fired from her current job for whatever reason. because she got fired, someone recommended her to a new job which was higher paying and she got that job (which was what she wanted). imagine if she accepted the 3d when she lost her job instead of only accepting the end goal. this is why nothing in the 3d matters and why the 3d cant be trusted. whatever you see, dont identify with “this isnt working” blah blah blah because you should be practicing indifference like that lady. she didnt gaf about the 3d and continued accepting she was already her desired self

trust the law: the law is always working and failure does not exist. you identify as a desired version of you and fulfill? ok now its done. theres nothing else to do but continue being that person. dont let anything in the 3d crash you down. dont even entertain the option of “failure”

know the 3d is a reflection of imagination: it has no mind of its own. the only thing it knows how to do is reflect self/imagination so know that at every moment, you always call the shots. this is all you so why care or validate the 3d when its only a reflection of you?

hold yourself higher on the pedestal: when you put yourself (inner self/imagination) first, you become attached to anything else. finding validation in yourself only instead of the 3d. when you want something, immediately fulfill yourself with in imagination instead of searching for fulfillment in the 3d

stop giving the 3d attention: have you ever heard of “whatever you focus on grows”? when you find yourself being aware of the 3d, just shift you attention elsewhere

“As the end is accepted, you become totally indifferent as to possible failure, for acceptance of the end wills the means to that end. When you emerge from the moment of prayer, it is as though you were shown the happy and successful end of a play although you were not shown how that end was achieved.” - ng

“The best denial is total indifference. Things wither and die through indifference. They are kept alive through attention. You do not deny a thing by saying it does not exist. Rather you put feeling into it by recognizing it, and what you recognize as true, is true to you, be it good, bad or indifferent.” - nd

before indifference: *allowing negative thoughts to consume you, accepting the 3d ‘negative circumstances’ as true, when you imagine something and look at the 3d you feel easily discouraged and start to be a victim to it, feeling like you have to ignore the 3d because youre scared of it, you feel the need to search for answers in the 3d all day because you see it as more important than it actually is, you are attached to the 3d and your mood changes when a single little thing looks “bad”*

after indifference: *nothing in the 3d shakes who you are being in imagination because you know who you are internally being is the only truth, you dont care about experiencing things in the 3d that are the opposite of your desire because you know you always call the shots, if you get discouraged you get your ass back up and know yourself to be the operant power, you arent attached to the 3d and searching for its validation*

so when you are indifferent to the 3d, you dont care about it, you arent afraid of it, you know it holds no importance or original meaning therefore you dont let it influence who you are being in imagination. think about when people pass by a homeless person on the street: they might think about it in the moment but most of them would go thro the rest of their day forgetting about it because they just didnt care. think about that one person who always knows they look good and their jealous friend tells them they look bad: that person would not care about outside voices because they know that they look good and they only accept internal validation

your only job is accepting the desire that the inner self experiences, as true while being indifferent to the experiences of the human self

kisses, jani ☆

#etherealkissed🎀#etherealkissed #loa blog #manifesting #law of assumption #loassumption #edward art #neville goddard #imagination creates reality #loastates #affirm and persist

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cyborg-franky · 4 months

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Their reaction when you give them your number

Some headcanons!

SFW GN Reader Chars: Ace, Robin, Marco, Kid, Killer, Buggy

Ace

He’s been flirting back and forth with you the entire time you’ve been working. He came in for his brother's friend's birthday but has spent more time talking to you and honestly? You didn’t mind. He was cute, funny, and very sweet. His flirting was a little awkward at times, you guessed as handsome as he was he had some self-esteem issues. But the more you talked with Ace the more his confidence grew.

It was late and pretty quiet, he chatted to you about his brothers as he leaned on the bar, you cleaned and got ready to close, just enjoying his voice, and how genuinely caring he seemed. It was then you grabbed a piece of paper, wrote your number on it, and slid it across the bar.

“What’s that? How much of a tab did me and those idiots wrack up…” He hummed and flipped the paper over, his eyes widened and his eyebrows shot up when he saw the number. You couldn't help the sly smile on your face when you could see the blush on his cheeks, even in the low light of the bar.

You sure hoped he’d call. He chuckled and put it in his pocket, trying to act cool about it even with his cheeks on fire.

Robin

She had to have been the most beautiful woman to have ever set foot in your store. The way she walked around in her summer dress, the fabric flowy in the breeze, the way she tucked her hair behind her ear as she picked up a huge heavy book, her eyes scanning each with a smile on her lips.

You felt entranced and intimidated by her in equal measure. Each movement was poised and elegant. She glanced over her shoulder and saw you staring at her, the sparkle of mischief in her eyes reached the sly smirk.

Grabbing an arm full of books so big you could murder a man with she set them down on the counter and you had to try and remember how to talk again. “Is it okay if I buy a coffee and read one of these?” You nodded, she could have robbed you and you would have thanked her.

As she paid for her books you quickly wrote your number on a note and slipped it in one of the books as you placed it in a bag for her. She bought her coffee and books and sat down on one of the big armchairs. You gripped the edge of the counter when you noticed she went right for the book you’d put your number in.

Robin saw the piece of paper and shot you the most wickedly sinful smile you felt your heart would explode.

Marco

He came into your work at least once a week, maybe more, and his order was always the same. He was a creature of habit but never boring. You always stood and chatted with him between his order and bringing it to him. He was polite and handsome and always had this lazy smile on his face that you found yourself looking forward to seeing.

Marco always had a kind word for you, would comment on your hair, how you wore it that day, how your new shirt was nice and suited you. He was full of compliments but he never came across as creepy. You adored his voice, his laugh, and how he always had a crazy story about his friends.

You felt like you knew them.

One night he came in with some of those said friends, a rowdy bunch but just like him, polite and chatty. You set down the tray of drinks and Marco leaned back in his seat taking his. “They make the best drinks, it’s why I come back all the time,” Marco said before sipping his drink.

“Yeah, right, that's the only reason.” Thatch teased and got a nudge. You didn’t know what the man meant by that but Marco met your eye and gave you a sheepish smile.

The group all started to leave and the man with the big hair, Thatch, came over to pay the bill. “Hey, I think you and Marco might have a sweet spot for one another, sorry if I’m misreading that but… maybe you could give me your number, to pass on?”

You blinked, processing what he was asking before grabbing a coaster and writing it on. Thatch paid and practically ran to Marco and brandished the coaster at him. “Got you a present!” Marco looked at it, then back at you. You watched as the smirk on his face grew and he placed it in his pocket.

Kidd

His entire group was loud but you didn’t mind. You were used to his sort coming to this bar, parking their motorbikes outside, and stomping into the bar with their heavy boots and loud voices. They’d been polite enough to you though.

Serving them rounds of beers when they raised their hands, always paying. You knew this group pretty well by now. The red-haired man who was the leader spoke with you casually. He leaned on the bar and laughed at jokes and comments yelled over the room at him.

“Got anything fun planned this weekend?” You asked as you handed him another beer, he took a swig before thanking you. You could see him thinking over your question, you always had a feeling he and his gang got up to all sorts. Maybe he was debating on what he could tell you.

“Nah, unless you wanna finally fess up to being into me an’ wanna hang.” He said, the smirk on his painted lips, showing his teeth. He was cocky and overconfident but God daaamn did it work.

“What makes you think I’m into you?” You asked, well, he was right but still.

“Babe, I just know, so gunna give me your number or do I have to beg?” Kidd asked with a gleam in his eyes. You loved feeling you had all the power in this situation. You met his eye before ripping off a piece of a poster hanging up behind you and putting your number on.

“You don’t have to beg, this time.” You chuckled and handed it to him. He laughed loudly and put it in his jacket pocket, looking smug.

He’d won.

Killer

Killer came into your shop every other week, always for something for his bike. It could be a check-up, a new decal, a sticker or just to get someone to clean it. He was a man of few words but he was pleasant to be around. His small talk was never dull or seemed forced, he enjoyed hearing your stories and learning about you.

Sometimes you even got to hear his voice, get to learn about his life; How he was part of a group who drove around together. You were very intrigued by him. The way he’d take off his helmet and all that blonde hair would come tumbling out, you could have sworn the world become slow motion whenever he did that.

He was gorgeous.

“Going for a drive this weekend?” You asked when he set down his helmet, one of the mechanics working on his bike already. He shook his head “Just thought I heard something when I’d started her,” he said and stared across the room.

Killer didn’t leave, didn’t go for a walk, instead while his bike was being checked he simply stood and talked to you. It was nice, he was a good guy. The mechanic came in and handed you the paperwork. You looked it over.

“Good news! The small issue has been fixed and since your in here all the time we won’t charge the normal rate,” your heart was beating when you sneakily wrote your number on the paper and handed it to him.

He said his goodbyes and walked away, reading over the paper before he noticed the number, he turned and looked at you. Wordlessly, effortlessly cool he just gave you the thumbs up and grinned.

Buggy

He was a strange guy, how he seemed to think he was so slick every time he came in. Acting like this wasn’t the 18th time he’d been in this week. He was strange, sure, but he was cute and no one had made you laugh so much. Sometimes you didn’t think he meant to be funny on purpose, his charm was just a silly guy.

But as goofy as he came across he was still unreasonably handsome and had his own brand of charisma that had you so taken with him. He came in on his way back from work and asked for his regular order, which you knew by heart now.

He would go on about his day, complaining about someone called Shanks that he worked with. The way he told his stories was so over the top and so hilarious that you couldn’t help but stand there chuckling and hanging on to his every word.

“So yeah, that dickhead set me back like 20 minutes.” He mumbled and sipped his shake, eating a few fries “Well, hopefully, your weekend will be better.” you said as you refilled the napkin holder.

“I’ll still be in though, I gotta get my fix.” He said and held up his drink, you weren’t sure if that was all he meant either. “Oh no, I won’t be in, I have the day off.”

He seemed crestfallen at that news, deflating in his seat with a frown. “Ah..” he mumbled as he stuffed more fries into his mouth. “But maybe we can arrange something?” you pulled out a napkin and wrote down your number, setting it next to him.

Buggy had been drinking at that moment, he stared at your number and snorted, his shake and the straw shooting to the back of his throat, causing him to splutter, some of his drink coming out of his nose as he became a flustered mess.

You laughed and watched him grab at handfuls of napkin to clean himself, wheezing as he did so, trying and failing to calm himself down, he croaked out “Sounds great…”

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