#that we seriously had to see this story from the white killers' perspective

[c-schroed]

My Name is Martin Scorsese, and t h i s is The Lucky Strike Hour.

I mean, it is quite some move to basically admit at the end of "Killers of the Flower Moon" that this whole movie is not much more than some overexaggerated true crime podcast. Bonus points for telling about one of the first true crime shows, sponsored by both a cigarette brand and the FBI.

Doesn't make the movie any better, of course, but it still is my second favourite thing about that flick. After that one scene at the train station that's told entirly from Molly's point of view. Why couldn't the whole film have been like that.

#killers of the flower moon #martin scorsese #i'm still not over it #that we seriously had to see this story from the white killers' perspective #in the fucking 21rst century #schroed's thoughts #movie thoughts

[libraryofbaxobab]

UPDATE TO MY PREVIOUS POST December 5, 2023:

I lied. I forced my way through it. Turns out, the first half of the book is the equivalent to a jogger finding the body in the cold open of an episode of Law & Order. I had to suffer through all of that for next to nothing, because the part that I consider to be the actual story picks up decades later with different characters. That said, once that part actually starts (way too late!) it picks up right away and becomes almost as fun as I hoped it would be. It's exciting and gross and there are guns and explosions and motorcycles and other cool shit.

I stand by my criticism of giving the slime mold anthropomorphic thoughts. The narration goes out of its way to explicitly state that it does not actually have thoughts. And yet, it has POV sections where it wants, it decides, it learns, it remembers, it actively problem-solves-- not to imply that it's gaining sentience like I thought but in direct conflict with the book's own insistence. This leads me to believe that this author just does not have the mastery of language to phrase it any other way. That's pretty embarrassing.

Here's a thing that I liked! The mind-control portions. Those were the kind of horror I wanted and the intrusive thoughts/ instructions were delivered in a pretty spooky voice by the audiobook narrator, who otherwise totally sucked. (Seriously, he narrated in almost complete monotone but then inexplicably did some characters' voices as a Hank Hill impression like wtf) Random weird thoughts that are not the character's own? Yes please.

Next, the characters are going to be... divisive, for some. The main guy (again, once the real story starts) talks manically and nonstop and it's super annoying. He is self-aware of this quirk, but it does make him hard to deal with as a voice. He's an exhausting character that starts out hard to like, but I ended up coming around after seeing he is making conscious efforts to better his life. It's actually really interesting to see someone in the early stages of taking responsibility but not quite getting it right yet. I liked the romance subplot (A sentence I never thought I'd type!!) and thought it was weirdly sweet. It was much slower and more thoughtful than the dreadful horny triple-threat in the "cold open."

Not to belabor that again, but after some more thought, I realized that this book actually has two "jogger finds the body" set pieces. We shouldn't forget that the three characters from the insufferable beginning half are already investigating a reported death, which brings them to the remote village where the fungus originated-- a village that the book once again goes out of its way to note that it is specifically reclaimed indigenous land. That's not important to the plot in any way, but it would be mildly interesting if it didn't mean that the book kills off twenty-six indigenous people offscreen just to focus on the actual experience of the white people (or, in one character's case, white-passing Latino. And yes, that he has a Hispanic name but looks "white enough" is actually a plot point in the book, which makes it even more suspect that in the movie adaptation coming out next year he is played by Liam Neeson and given a different name. Oop!). That just feels weird to me, to have gone on and on about the legality of returning indigenous lands for no reason if we weren't going to use any of those characters' perspectives. They were literally set dressing to show the white people how gruesome the consequences of contracting the contagion would be. They're the unnamed "killer's previous victims" on a bulletin board in the "jogger finding the body" analogy.

One of those three cold-open characters comes back later with a plan to save the day because they've ~seen this before and know what it can do~. Except, no they don't. They barely investigated the village at all and left immediately with a sample. This character has a comprehensive list of difficult-to-obtain materials that are absolutely necessary to containing this threat. Much time is devoted to this list but in vague terms; we are not privy to the specific items on that list, presumably until the moment they are used. But rest assured that every single item is totally of the utmost importance to this plan and they have thought of every possible- just kidding they bring, like, a gun. Why is there even a list, other than of course to waste a bunch of time to make the stakes seem higher to the characters who are trapped and awaiting rescue? Why is this book so interested in wasting my time?

I think ultimately this book shows that the author doesn't grasp the writer's mantra of "show, don't tell" which is wild considering he has written a bunch of famous and exciting movies. This might be his first crack at a novel, and since he can't rely on visual shorthand, he compensates by just insisting to the reader that certain things are true, even when the action shows us the opposite. The list is useful because he says it's useful, don't worry about how little it gets used. The fungus isn't sentient because he says it isn't, don't pay attention to all the active thoughts he's given it. The guy from the offscreen inciting incident died horribly because a character says he died horribly, you don't even need a description. It's not even clever unreliable narrator shenanigans, it just comes off as an inexperienced novelist demanding that you believe him no matter what you've seen.

#whatskenyareading #books #reading #library #horror #audiobook #cold storage #long post #rant #fungal #fungi #fungus #pathogen #infection #illness #disease #action

[traumatictouch]

tomura & stain

we all know stain was a major influence on tomura and his character development early in the series, so id like to take a closer look at why stain was so important to tomura (and why i sincerely believe tomura had an implicitly-canon crush on him.)

this is actually pretty glaring when you watch all of tomura's season 2 scenes all together. i think the reason it slipped by so many people (including me) is because the villains side of the story was so broken up by the sports festival and kids internships. (and, tomura was a relatively new character to the audience at the time - we didn't know yet that that is very much not how tomura behaves around most people.)

and before i get started, i just wanna say that this post isnt about shipping, i just think this is an overlooked part of tomuras character. i also need to establish this reading of their dynamic to further support another meta post i’m planning on writing in the future regarding tomura and afo.

I'll link a season 2 tomura compilation video in the notes so you can see what im talking about yourselves, but for now, here are my impressions. (all white subtitles in screenshots are tomura’s dialogue.)

we start with tomura admiring stain from pictures and videos. like… his eyes are literally sparkling. pretty sure he's never looked at anyone except afo with so much non-hostile intensity and interest.

ive talked a little bit about this before, but i get the feeling that tomura just genuinely doesnt expect to be understood by anyone at all. not civilains, not other villains, and certainly not heroes. since all tomura really knew about stain and his motivations at this point was that he was "the hero killer", he probably thought he'd finally found another person who shared his hatred for hero society with the same passion - someone who could understand him. no wonder he was so excited.

when face-to-face, tomura openly admits stain has more experience than him, and calls him “dai-senpai” (translated as “sir” below); this is used for people who have MUCH more experience than you in your field. starting strong with the flattery! (esp considering im pretty sure they both have roughly the same amount of experience, technically.)

(also, aren’t most crushes in these shows directed towards someones “senpai”?)

when he makes a truly terrible first impression and gets stabbed for his efforts, tomura just... laughs awkwardly. tomura has a general tendency to smile and laugh when hes in pain, but the sheer nervous awkwardness of it is what makes it significant here. i dont think he would have responded this way if it had been, say, dabi or toga who attacked him during recruiting instead.

when stain rejects his offer and monologues about why he doesnt like people like tomura, tomura responds in a clearly offended and hurt way. in other, similar encounters throughout the manga, tomura is much more level-headed than he is here. i dont think hes ever taken someones opinion of him so hard at any other point in the series, which is pretty notable considering the sheer amount of other times he gets insulted to his face.

...and yet, he remains civil during their conversation on the rooftops afterwards, even when stain makes another dig at him. (also, correct me if im wrong, but is the first line below not literally a romance trope...?)

after stain leaves (and only after,) tomura starts poking fun at him, despite having been the one to try to recruit him in the first place. makes sense that he's trying to point out all his 'flaws', sort of like hes trying to talk himself out of his previous admiration for him after being so thoroughly rejected. and, considering tomura had to later question how he and stain were different at all, these criticisms seem a little bit hollow in hindsight.

coping with heartbreak by seeking (indirect!) revenge. of course his idea of revenge involves making stain feel like everyone has forgotten about him. acting like you were never interested in someone is a pretty common trope for this kind of thing, isnt it? that they meant so little to you (or anyone else) that you dont even remember the rejection! and of course, tomuras trying to make stain feel as humiliated as he did.

also worth mentioning: i think this is the only time where tomura wanted to end up in the news for a reason unrelated to making people question justice and hero society. releasing the nomus didn't seem to be about making people doubt the heroes ability to protect, it was just to outshine stain.

tomura isn't really the kind of person who… gets that worked up over losses? So the fact that hes so agitated about it is significant. even at usj when he lashed out at kurogiri for letting iida escape, he pretty quickly bounced back and accepted that they had to retreat for the time being. still, it must hurt seeing the guy who so harshly rejected you get talked about nonstop, especially in a positive light.

(honey, you're the one hung up on stain.)

This leads to - as user palbabor-writes pointed out in her character analysis of tomura - tomura's worst outburst in the series. isnt it interesting that stain was responsible for that, in a character who is otherwise relatively calm and collected? that suggests some pretty strong feelings attached.

of course, losing his nomus and being insulted by some strangers certainly lended to that outburst, but those were both just salt in the wound that stain had already created.

then he literally dons his Sadness Hoodie (seriously, we only see him wear it while sulking at the mall and after afo is arrested) and goes off to wonder why he and stain were too different to work out. and he lingers on that for a long time. why were they too different? what went wrong? why didn't stain accept him?

this doesnt just seem to be about how society perceives the two of them, because the thoughts are "directed" at stain, rather than society as a whole. he wants to understand it from stain's perspective before anyone elses. (plus, everyone thought stain was a part of the LoV, so as far as society is concerned, he and stain are the same.)

...and hes so torn up about this that he goes as far as venting to and consulting a teenager on the matter.

i don't know. romantic feelings and tropes in media aren't my strong suit, but i hope you understand what im getting at!!

like i said at the beginning, i'll reblog this with a link to the season 2 tomura comp so you can kind of see it for yourselves. theres also some things from supplemental material for bnha that further supports this theory, but since thats only dubious canon, i'll put those in a follow-up post!

#tomura shigaraki #shigaraki tomura #tenko shimura #akaguro chizome #stain bnha #bnha #boku no hero academia #long post #ooc #meta #please be nice im kind of embarrassed to post this LMAO

[softtransbf]

Mister Nice Guy, part 1

Summary: You’re new to the BAU and get along well with everyone, almost. You can’t figure out why the infuriatingly handsome Dr. Spencer Reid seems to hate you so much.

Word Count: 2222

Reader: Trans man, he/him pronouns, no physical description.

Warnings: Alcohol, brief description of a case and therefore murder. Nothing graphic.

(Part two)

~~~~~~~~~~

It was your first day at the BAU, and you were so excited. It took all of your willpower not to skip from the elevator to your new boss' office. You definitely caught a sideways glance from an incredibly handsome man with very expressive eyebrows, but you didn't let it concern you; you'd worked too damn hard for too damn long to let anyone bring you down today. You got to the door and knocked sharply. 

"Agent L/N, please, come in," came a voice from inside the room. You took a deep breath and walked through the door.

You'd heard stories about Aaron Hotchner and the BAU- everyone had. Most people only heard the good parts- the heroic tales, the happy endings. But you liked to be prepared, to know the truth of what you were going after, so you'd also paid attention to the quieter whispers. The imposing boss who never smiles, the weird and maybe-pseudo-sexual relationship between the exuberant tech analyst and one of the profilers, the betting pool on whether or not the two female profilers were secretly gay for each other, true crime writer extraordinaire and profiling legend David Rossi leaving retirement to mostly be snarky, and the young agent with multiple doctorates who is smarter than seems humanly possible. You would never admit it, but you were particularly eager to meet the genius. He guest lectured once in your friend's linguistics class your last semester before graduating, and xe wouldn't shut up about him for an entire week. When you told xem that your transfer was approved, xe begged for "a full rundown on what he's like up close and personal" after your first case. But first, you needed to meet with SSA Hotchner.

"Please, take a seat." He gestured to the chairs in front of his desk. 

"Thank you. It's a pleasure to meet you, sir." You thanked your lucky star that your voice didn't shake.

"It's a pleasure to have you. I heard nothing but the best about you from your previous supervisor. Officially, all the paperwork has gone through for your transfer, but I would like to ask a couple of questions before we get started." 

"Of course, sir. What would you like to know?" One corner of his mouth ticked up slightly for a fraction of a second, and you counted that as a major victory.

"First and foremost, why are you interested in the BAU?" You relaxed slightly; you'd prepared for this question.

"Human behavior is nothing short of fascinating. Everyone is shaped by a unique set of experiences, but at the end of the day, we all behave in documented patterns. Everything matters, because it shapes who we are, but also nothing does, because we all end up in one of a finite number of 'shapes', so to speak. No one is the same, but we all exhibit set behavioral patterns. No matter what someone's gone through, at the end of the day, they are still understandable and predictable. I find that absolutely fascinating, and the work that the BAU does with that is incredible. I want to be a part of it, and I have the skill and drive to do so. After all, the BAU essentially wrote the handbook for Crisis Negotiation."

"That is a very interesting perspective, agent." His face was neutral, but you detected approval in his tone. "I only had one other matter to bring up- I see two different first names in your paperwork, and two of your references refer to you with different pronouns. Which name do you prefer, and what are your pronouns?"

You were floored; you'd never had a supervisor so casually look past paperwork outing you. "Y/N, sir, and he/him/his."

"Wonderful. Well, Y/N, welcome to the BAU. Let's go meet the team, shall we?" You nodded and followed him out his door into the meeting room, where the rest of the team was assembled.

"Everyone, this is Special Agent Y/N L/N. He has just transferred from Crisis Negotiation."

"Oh! New guy! Hi hi hi! I'm Penelope Garcia, just call me Penelope, and I do all the tech-y, research-y stuff." She made her way across the room to you as she spoke, talking with her hands.

"Pleasure to meet you, Penelope! I love the look you're rocking, by the way. Those shoes in particular are magnificent." You knew you were being the gay sterotype that you'd spent your career trying to avoid, but shoes that good could not go uncomplimented.

"Oh my goodness, thank you!" she said to you before stage-whispering to the rest of the team, "I like him! Let's keep him." The team laughed, and you blushed. It seemed that Hotchner had wordlessly passed on the duties of making the introductions to her, because she pointed to the agent closest to her, handsome-guy-with-the-eyebrows from earlier, and continued on. 

"Okay, so, this is Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss, Jenifer Jareau, but we all call her JJ, David Rossi, and Dr Spencer Reid." They all nodded, smiled, and/or waved slightly when they were introduced, with the exception of Dr Reid, who looked almost like he was looking at a puzzle. You chalked the feeling in your gut it gave you to first-day nerves.

"It's a pleasure to meet you all, and I look forward to getting to know you all better as time goes on." You were addressing everyone, but something about the way Dr. Reid was staring at you made it difficult to look away from him for too long.

"Wonderful! Now, as much as I wish we could all chit-chat and get to know Y/N better, we do have a case. Last night, a body was found in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park."

The case was interesting, twin injustice collectors, one more mission oriented, the other interested almost entirely on experimenting with different forms of torture on the victims. The former, over the weeks between kills, had started dating one of the local detectives, neither of them knowing of the other's involvement in the case. You were there when that information came to light at the killer's arrest, and you were able to diffuse the situation, ensuring that no one was harmed.

On the flight back, Prentiss insisted on the whole team going out for drinks to welcome you to the team. Hotchner declined, because he needed to get back to Jack, and Rossi said he had "plans with Tony Bennett", but everyone else agreed, mostly enthusiastically. It took significant persuasion from JJ to get Reid to agree to go out with you all. For the whole case, he was abrupt and distant with you, despite your best efforts. You knew it was silly, but you really wanted your coworkers to like you, so you decided you were going to do your absolute best to get him to like you by the end of the night.

-

"Hey, doc, first round's on me. What'll it be?" You'd noticed during the case that he shrugged off all of your attempts to start a conversation, but you figured that even he wouldn't ignore you under these circumstances.

"Uh, white wine would be great, thanks."

"White wine? At a dive bar? Does this bar even have white wine?" You'd intended to be charming, but, seriously, white wine? Who was this guy?

He opened his mouth, clearly indignant, but he was interrupted by Morgan chuckling from behind you both.

"That's why we go to this dump, newbie. It's the only bar in the area that serves white wine, which is all Pretty Boy here drinks." He winked at you and playfully elbowed Reid in the ribs.

You threw your hands up in mock surrender and chuckled. "Okay, okay, white wine for the good doctor it is. What's your poison? I'm sure word's gotten around that the first round is on me."

"You know, I might have heard something about that, and I most definitely wouldn't say no to a dirty martini." He winked at you, and your chuckle turned into full-on laughter.

You got the bartender's attention and ordered their drinks and a Jack and Coke for yourself. "It's a damn shame you're straight, Derek. Truly a crime against queer men everywhere, although I'm not so proud I can't admit that I'm a bit glad you're not competition."

"Wait wait wait, how do you know I don't like a little meat on the side?"

"So, sidestepping the fact that not all men have penises and some women do, you are so hetero that it's almost painful. Look around; men of all shapes and sizes outnumber women 2 to 1 at least. But you've spent the whole night making eyes at those women over there." You pointed to a table on the other side of the room. "Plus, I may or may not have received a very detailed string of texts from Penelope that essentially amounted to a crash course on all of y'all. I get a feeling that she might like me a little bit."

"My bad on the meat comment- I'll definitely fix that. And speaking of Penelope being a font of information, she's been uncharacteristically tight-lipped about you. What's your big secret, new guy?"

You raised an eyebrow and sipped your drink. "All you need to know is that Hotch, who strikes me as even more protective of this team than he lets on, which is really saying something, knows, and he cares less than any brass I've ever met. And I know for a fact that if Penelope thought it was concerning, she'd have at least voiced some suspicions about me, if not told you outright. I'm not ashamed of it, it's just none of y'alls business. Anyway, the blonde from the table you were eyeing earlier is coming over to see if we've been flirting this whole time so she knows whether to flirt with you or gush about how she's always wanted a Gay Best Friend oh my god. If I'm still here, it'll be both, and I'm allergic to that particular brand of cishet nonsense. Have fun, good-lookin'." You chuckled and patted him on the shoulder as you left, and out of the corner of your eye, you saw Reid roll his eyes, down his drink, and walk in the other direction. What is his deal? Whatever. I'm not about to let him wet blanket all over tonight. You took out your phone and sent out a couple of quick texts.

[To: Penelope]: Thank you for not outing me. It means the world to me. Let's get brunch sometime?

[To: Nerd <3]: you sure Reid seemed pleasant when he lectured? that has Not been my experience with him so far. you were right about him being Cute cute, though, damn. a Gay could get lost in those big brown eyes, and in different circumstances I'd climb him like a tree. shame he's Like That lmao

Looking up from your phone, you saw Emily and JJ nearby, so you went over to join them. 

"Oh em gee Y/N you're gay? I had, like, no idea! We should, like, totally get brunch and then go shopping! This is gonna be so much fun; I've always wanted a gay best friend!" You rolled your eyes and laughed at Emily's terrible Valley Girl accent. "Unfortunately, I did not spend my time in the closet learning anything about clothes. I only dress halfway decently for work because my friend dragged me to the mall and updated my wardrobe when I applied for this position. It's all xir doing."

"Well, xe has excellent taste." You mentally filed away JJ's effortless use of neopronouns.

"I'll be sure to let xem know! I'm so down for brunch, though." You checked your phone. "Looks like Garcia is too!"

"Damn, you work fast. You'll fit right in here," Emily laughed.

"Honestly, I'm a little bit blown away by how awesome and welcoming you all are. Well, mostly. Is Spencer like this with every new person, or did I somehow do something to offend him?" Emily and JJ shared a look you couldn't quite read before JJ answered.

"Spencer…" she hesitated, "He's going through something right now. I'm sure he'll figure it out soon, and things will smooth out." 

So you waited. Weeks passed, and you fit in well with the team. You ended up getting close to Derek and Penelope in particular, and you kept trying to make nice with Spencer. Weeks of cold shoulder and as few words as possible to you while being his normal, verbose self with everyone else. So, three weeks into your new job, on a night out with Derek and Penelope you made a decision.

"Look. It's been weeks, and the guy still won't say more than 5 words to me. I'm done trying to… I don't know what I was even trying to do," you slurred, you’d probably had one drink too many. "Make a friend, maybe? I don't even know. But I'm done. He wants to give taciturn bordering on rude? Then that's what he'll receive. Let's see how Pretty Boy likes a taste of his own medicine. No more Mister Nice Guy." You wouldn't remember the look they shared until much later.

And so, your silent war with Spencer truly began.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x male reader #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #dr spencer reid #spencer reid #otp: pretty boys

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #403

“ashes to ashes, watch me disappear”

If given the opportunity, would you like to star in a musical? Definitely not. I don't like musicals. Name one person you’d take a bullet for: There's honestly a lot, but Mom immediately came to mind. Any posters of a band on your bedroom wall? Yeah: Metallica and Marilyn Manson currently. I want lots more, especially an Ozzy one. Do you think you’ve already met your soulmate? I don't believe in soulmates. Do you share your bedroom with anyone? No, unless you include my cat and snake. Is your favorite color yellow? No, it's actually one of my least favorites. Were you born in a hospital? I was. Do you know the name of the person that delivered you? No, but Mom does. I think he delivered me and my two sisters, and I know Mom has seen him since for other reasons. Was your birth recorded? God no. Good call, Mom. Did you eat a peach this week? Would you believe me if I told you I had a small bit of peach pie for my sister's birthday? For some reason, I just really wanted to try some. It was okay, but the aftertaste sucked. Are you leaving the house tomorrow? Yes, for TMS therapy. Every weekday. Do you enjoy romantic movies, even when they’re cliche? I honestly do. If you could get free vocal lessons would you take them? Probably not. I don't like singing in front of anyone, and it's not like I wanna get anywhere with my singing, so. Is your mother diabetic? She is. Are you? No. Ever sang someone to sleep? No. Who do you stalk the most through Facebook? Nobody. Have you ever deleted your Facebook, then brought it back? No. What is your main responsibility each day? Be sure to take my medications. Do you feel like you fulfill those responsibilities? Yeah. There are rare mornings where I forget, but I almost always remember. I don't fw skipping out on meds that keep my mental health stable. When was the last time you used spray paint? Good question. Do you know the middle name of the last person you kissed? Yep. Who is the friendliest person you know? My mom, probably. Something that annoys you about summer: THE HEAT. THE HUMIDITY. UGH. Something that annoys you about winter: Hm. That's hard to say, given I love winter. I guess the fact it doesn't snow enough here. Are the doors of your fridge side by side or on top of one another? Side-by-side. If you’ve moved out of the house you were born in, do you know the people who live in that house now? Nope. Have you ever cried in a movie theater? Not sobbed or anything, but I've definitely teared up and gotten the sniffles because of multiple movies. Do you read comic books? No. Do you force your way into conversations in which you are not involved? No. Have you ever seriously pretended to be clinically insane? I didn't need to pretend; I'm pretty damn sure I was for a while. Might I add that it's EXTREMELY inconsiderate to pretend you're insane, btw. Insanity is not "cool." It's not "funny." It's not "edgy." It's a serious, confusing, heart-wrenching issue that can ruin lives. Do you know anyone with a stutter? Yes, myself included when I'm even mildly nervous. And sometimes just randomly. With a lisp? I don't believe so. What was the last board game you played? The Disney version of "Pretty Pretty Princess" w/ my niece and even my nephew, even though his sexist-ass dad didn't want him to. Like let your kid have some fun with his sister and aunt, goddamn. They had a blast. It was Aubree's birthday present from me, so I am SO glad she loved it. Did you win? Ha ha, no, I always let Aubree or Ryder win. I came super close once, but I let the kids bend the rules a bit. They don't like losing, and even though they definitely need to understand that just happens and is totally fine for it to, I wasn't about to be the one to make them sad about it. When was the last time you tried to speak with an accent? OH MY LAAAAAWWWWWWD. Also at Aubree's b-day party, at one point, I spoke in a snobbish British accent while I was winning at the aforementioned game. Ryder asked, "Why are you speaking Spanish?", and I fuckin DIED. Have you ever made up a word before? Yeah, I know at least a few instances for fantasy animals in writing. When was the last time you went to a museum? A couple summers ago when my brother and his son visited, we went to a science museum. My nephew was sooooo into it. Do you have a nice yard? If so, do you spend a lot of time outside in it? If not, where do you go when you want to relax outdoors on nice days? Our front and back yards are both small and honestly very boring. The grass is a pretty green, but that's the only nice thing about it. I don't go to sit outside here on any day. Do your parents enjoy any of the things that you enjoy? Do you bond over these things? My parents and I have very similar music tastes, so there's that. I also didn't know for the longest time that Mom likes to write, which I sure as hell do, too! She doesn't really write anymore though, and she's self-conscious of it anyway, like I am. She and I also love a lot of the same shows. What is the movie that you have waited the longest for/which film do you remember anticipating the most/are still anticipating? I think The Incredibles 2. I aaaalways wanted to know what happened after the end of the first film. Do you have any ideas for a story or movie you’re planning to write or you’d write if you had the time/had the talent? Please share a synopsis! I genuinely think some RP I've written is series-worthy, but I don't feel like re-writing the YEARS of RP into a book format, and I sincerely worry that the ridiculously dark parts could inspire people like serial killers and cause A LOT of controversy, crime-blaming, and just general hate. I don't want to be involved in that. What is something that an interested guy/girl could comment about you, that would make you instantly open to them (e.g., “That book you’re reading is from my favorite author”)? Compliment my Markiplier tattoo, obviously knowing it's a tribute to him, and we're essentially besties. Is there a person in your life (maybe barely) that you feel in constant competition with (even just in your imagination)? Maybe you feel they are consistently outshining you? Ugh... there's a local photographer that's much more successful than I am that I admittedly am very envious of. I swear to whatever god you may believe in that I mean it from a modest perspective, I really, really do, but I genuinely think my skills surpasses hers, and she's only more prevalent because photography REALLY is about who you know. She's talented, yes, but like... come on. If you are single, even if you are normally happily single, are there certain specific things you witness that make you wish you were in a relationship (e.g., people getting engaged)? I mean yeah. I miss cuddling, holding hands, kissing, just being cute together, and especially people getting engaged or having kids. It's such a trigger to me. Once upon a time, that's all I wanted with Jason. I wanted to be that beautiful couple that got married and had two or three loved-beyond-words children, but then he left so abruptly, and I feel like it was so brutally robbed from me. I don't want kids anymore like at all, but the point still stands that I felt like my dreams were just ripped away. Out of all your usernames for websites, which one is your favorite? Do you use it for more than one site? I use "Ozzkat" just about everywhere. Have you ever spent the whole day (or multiple days) just looking up one thing on the internet (e.g., videos of your favorite band, how-to videos, quizzes, etc.)? OHHHHHHHHHH YEAH. There have been a couple days or so where I was totally glued to looking up various tattoo designs, bingeing let's plays or conspiracy theory videos, etc. etc. If you ever think about getting married, what are some aspects of the wedding that you would like to see in a non-traditional manner (e.g., a different color dress or “partners” over “husband” and “wife”)? I WILL NOT get married in a church, first of all. I'm also not having the traditional vows, and I probably won't wear a white dress, but instead black. Salt & vinegar, barbecue, sour cream & onion, or cheddar? Ohhhh, I like all those options but barbecue. I think I've gotta go with sour cream & onion, though. Bow ties on guys, dorky or adorable? A D O R A B L E ! ! ! I think they're ordinarily geeky, but I mean, geeky is cute in my world. :^) Do you believe in demonic possession? How about ghosts? Angels? Angels, no. Spirits/ghosts, 100%. I don't exactly believe in demons, per se, but I do question if evil spirits can possess someone. What is one romantic movie that you enjoy enough to watch more than once? I've seen The Notebook numerous times. Name three countries you want to visit; why those three? South Africa to interact with meerkats at the KMP, somewhere up in Canada to see the Northern Lights, and Germany just because, really. I took German for four semesters, and the culture and all just interests me. Do you have a good luck charm? No, considering I don't believe they do jack. Do you use Skype to talk to your friends? Only Sara. Now that I have Discord semi-figured out now though, we'll probably use that for voice chatting. Are you allergic to any animals? I might be allergic to dogs. Do you usually spend your weekends out, or at home? I'm like... always at home. Do you think it’s wrong for people to say "retard/retarded" as an insult? Absofuckinglutely. Don't pull that shit when I'm around. Have you ever had to go to the police department? No. Have you ever lived through a hurricane? Plenty. Have you ever had a home-grown tomato? Yes, from my old friend's garden. We'd have delicious tomato, mayo, and bacon sandwiches. The only instance where I've enjoyed tomatoes. Have you ever held a real gun? The former friend I mentioned just before, her husband always carried a gun, and he just needed me to hold it for a sec for some reason I don't recall. I hated the feeling. Would you rather wear Converse or Vans? I like both, but I think I prefer Converse. Have you ever been called bipolar? Yes, because I clinically am. Have you ever made fun of a handicapped person? FUCK no. And like the "retarded" thing, don't you fucking DARE to do this in front of me. I WILL deck the shit out of you. Do you think it’s okay to have sex before marriage? Sure, as long as you're being safe and are very thorough in communication. Do you like to watch old sitcoms? I don't really watch TV as I say in like every survey it seems, but I do enjoy some old sitcoms I grew up watching with my mom, like The Nanny, The Golden Girls, The Munsters, etc. If asked, could you run a mile nonstop right now? Being completely serious, I don't even know if I CAN physically run right now. My legs are so incredibly weak, and I'm humiliatingly close to what my heaviest weight was back in 2016, so I can almost guarantee my knees would crumple if I tried. Do you wear those rubber wristbands? I used to. I don't really like bracelets nowadays. If a necklace/ring gives you green marks, do you still wear it? Nope. Have you ever driven an electric car? No. When was the last time you saw someone you went to high school with? Uhhhh idk. What breed was the last dog you saw? A fucking GOLIATH of a lab. I shit you not when I say my sister's roommate's dog Hudson is the size of a goddamn bear. How long have your parents been together (or how long were they together, if they no longer are): I wanna say they were together at the very least 20 years. What has been your most epic cooking failure? I once accidentally put something (I don't remember what) in the microwave for around 45 minutes I believe, and I walked away and completely forgot about it. I remembered a long while later, and safe to say, it wasn't edible, whatever it was, lmao. Have you ever been to Mexico? No. Have you ever had a parrot sit on your shoulder? No, but that'd be cool. Has anyone in your life ever treated you abusively? No. How long has it been since your last breakup? Somewhere around two years ago? My memory is so garbage nowadays. Can you concentrate well while listening to music, or do you find it distracting? It's distracting, usually. What’s something you’ve been struggling with lately? I've been pretty bad about drinking too much soda lately. :/

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''under the graveyard'' by ozzy osbourne

[yutaya]

Iron Fist Rewatch: 1x03: Rolling Thunder Cannon Punch

That's so terrifying. You look an entitled asshole in the eyes and say "no" when he tries to pressure you into doing something morally corrupt that would actively hurt another person - one who has specifically asked you for help - and then armed home invaders break in in the middle of the night. Ward is basically the mafia boss that Colleen has just pissed off, from her POV. No wonder she hates him.

Wow, now I want the fanfic where Colleen keeps calling Ward a mafia boss to his face. "Just because I'm under your mafia family's protection NOW doesn't make that time you put out a hit on me any better, mobster." "'Mob-' I never put out any 'hit'. I'm not the mafia." "You don't need to bother with pretence here, mob guy." (Danny helpfully does not point out that Ward definitely put out a hit on him, but the entire room is still painfully aware.)

Danny: Sorry the people trying to kill me broke your lock.

Colleen doesn't for one second find it out of the question that the cops might be in on the whole "corrupt rich white man is doing shady illegal things and trying to have a 'problem' 'fixed'" thing. Danny does, ("I haven't broken any law?") because Danny spent ten years as a rich white boy and then the next 15 in a culture completely separated from the rest of the world's reality. Or: Danny, a rich white boy, trusts the police. Colleen, who tries to make her dojo a safe space for a bunch of underprivileged majority bipoc kids living in the "bad part of town", does not.

Possibly the reason they speedrun us through Ward going up to the penthouse again is to remind the viewers how obnoxious it is to get up there before we see Danny climb the building later?

I forgot about this freaky tube thing. What is that? High tech coffin? lol. There's an implied "you should be unsettled by this" vibe to Harold's whole "it's so peaceful in here, I can't help but doze off" but when I don't know what the tube is the context is kind of lost on me.

Again with Ward calmly asking for an explanation about such a seemingly insane business choice, especially one that he's going to have to explain to people, and Harold brushing him off. Infuriating. And let's just toss in a sprinkling of "Joy has always been and always will be better than you, who can't do anything."

Harold: "Doesn't it occur to you that I'm doing this all for you?" Me: "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I HATE YOU." He doesn't even just say "I'm doing this for you." No, he has to say "Doesn't it occur to you that I'm doing this for you?" Rather than simply lying, he just has to back Ward into that corner. Ugh. UGH.

Ward: closes his eyes, long huff of breath. I should start a count of how many times he does this.

MY SKIN IS CRAWLING. Freaking Harold. Ugh ugh ugh he's the worst.

Danny you realize you're both disrespecting Colleen AND talking about pretty sensitive subject matter right in front of her student?

Joy: "We need to do the right thing." Me: "You keep telling yourself you're a person who cares about that, Joy."

Joy used to do Ward's homework for him????

Like, what?

Seriously, what?

Was this supposed to be a cute exchange? Because my Asian American upbringing says it's NOT.

Joy: "In another life, this would have been romantic." Danny: "Gross, you're my sister."

"You and Ward, you're the only link to a life that I had. It kept me going under very difficult circumstances." ;___;

Joy talking about clinging to her dreams of Harold meeting her after school and holding her hand and smiling at her in her grief after he died is making me so miserable. To Joy, Harold means comfort.

Danny: *Starts talking about ghosts* Joy: Oh right, he's crazy.

Colleen: "You dishonor yourself when you fight for money."

Jeri, who has literally been mind-controlled, almost got murdered slowly and painfully, and brought a killer to her wife,

Young intern Jeri Hogarth calling the boss's secretary a "hatchet faced bitch" and then bribing said boss's 10yrs or younger kid not to tell is. Well. It sure is a thing.

I still want Danny inviting Jeri to Defenders friend group hangouts and Foggy and Marci both blanching. Jessica and Jeri can snark at each other and Danny can be like "You're friends too! I didn't know!! :D"

Honestly, I would have watched a whole show on the intricacies of classism issues, with the Elite like Jeri and the Meachums teaching Danny how to live and maneuver in that world and Colleen and the dojo and Big Al teaching Danny about the reality of life for the lower class, and our golden-hearted Danny in the center of it, consistently determined to do what's Right,

Joy: lol, isn't this such a fun, teasing, sibling-banter thing we do, me joking about how I'm going to close this deal and you would only endanger it?

Harold: punches trainer full in the face, then casually suggests weapons next time while the guy is still groaning on the ground

Is Gao terrorizing Harold and making him kneel on glass supposed to make me feel for Harold? No one deserves this but that doesn't make Harold magically not a monster.

Danny.... just taking over lecturing the class is not respectful to Darryl or Colleen either.

Danny: "What kind of soldier training is this? They're acting like kids!" Colleen: "That's the POINT! I am not training them to be soldiers, I am creating a safe space for them to be kids when they usually can't be in the rest of their lives." Danny's warped K'un Lun upbringing really shows here. It's heartbreaking to remember that Colleen isn't just some good samaritan either - that she was raised in a cult too and has her own warped upbringing viewpoints.

A line I need to appear in a Ward/Misty/Claire pov fic: "Colleen tends to seem normal because most of the time she's next to Danny. It's easy to forget that actually, she's completely batshit."

Colleen keeps throwing Danny out for bringing trouble to her doorstep and then not really fighting it when he sticks around anyway (Which: Danny. Danny, this is problematic behavior, Danny.) - it's when he becomes a danger to her students that she gets serious about it. Even if Danny wouldn't physically harm them again, he is now a drain on their mental health: he represents a potential danger, a reason to be constantly on guard, and a removal of their safe space.

Ward clearly has no idea what the heck Joy is doing. It's all very troubling and this family is so messed up.

The way Ward ever so slightly shakes his head at Joy as she bribes Patel with his nephew's actual life.

The blanket into snow is a great transition shot

Joy feels like Ward refuses to tell her things the same way Harold refuses to tell Ward things! But Ward doesn't actually have the ability to tell Joy anything because he doesn't know anything! Ugh!!

On Joy's desk: a photo of her and Ward toasting at some party. She also has a copy on her shelf at home.

Joy poured her blood sweat and tears into Rand. She's proud of it. To Ward, it's a prison.

Wait so their plan is that there's no record that Danny Rand ever existed? Like, besides. The city's collective memory? People know about Danny Rand, guys. You need to delete the ability to connect this adult man to Danny Rand, not young Danny's entire paper trail. I mean, anything linking them would be included in literally everything about Danny but still. Seems unnecessary and suspicious?? I know nothing about crime.

Jeri casually constantly reminding Danny that the Meachums are the corrupt villains of this story must be really messing with Danny's head. Not that she's wrong. Poor boy.

"Isn't it obvious!? I'm not your sister. He's not your brother. We don't want you here." brb crying forever

I have to appreciate that this fight moderator is actually trying to run a semi-safe tight ship behind the showmanship

"Cut the Floyd Mayweather shit." Floyd Mayweather: a former professional boxer, competed from 1996-2015. Often referred to as the best defensive boxer in history, as well as the most accurate puncher. Nicknamed "Pretty Boy" by his amateur teammates because his defensive technique left him with relatively few scars.

That whole Randy biting Colleen (breaking the rules about going too far laid out at the start of the fight) and then her climbing on top of him to keep on punching after he's down was really framed like one of those troubling "the hero loses control and it's bad" type scenes.

I am very curious about Jeri and the Meachums' history. Jeri and Ward snark at each other so much in this meeting. And they definitely seem amused while doing so. Also Joy was like "Hogarth" at Ward earlier, and Jeri described their relationship as "complicated" to Danny.

Ward slumps down in his seat so he's lower than anyone else in the room, despite probably being the tallest. This is probably meant as a show of dismissiveness: Danny's case is so insignificant that he doesn't need to respect them by sitting up straight - but it IS interesting, from a power dynamics in staging perspective.

Ward, who has a constant escape plan of stealing from his employees and running away with Joy, plus was literally talking about leaving and starting over with nothing earlier in this same episode: "It could have been easy. You could have taken the money and had a great life."

The elevator level can be controlled by the lobby man???

Another picture of presumably child Joy on Harold's desk, as a toddler this time. How many does he have?? This is cruel set dressing.

Harold playing on Ward's loyalty again. "I need you to help me. I don't have anyone else."

#iron fist #iron fist rewatch #the immortal iron fist #my stuff #rolling thunder cannon punch

[bandicoot88]

My Cyberpunk 2077 thoughts...

Gonna go into some spoilers, which I’ll hide under the cut, tho for now, I will share what I thought of the game. I finished my original playthrough a while back now, and did a second, with my same V but with a few different choices (and going back so I could take a bunch of snaps in photo mode, as you may have seen!)

  The game is definetely overhyped tho. Did I enjoy myself? Yes, but the game could’ve been better had it been worked on either more, or taken a step back... and made sure the game ran nicely. There are problems with it, and I’ll share this video here from videogamedunkey who does a good job of explaining the good and bad:

    The length of the game:

  Too short. For about 2 days I was doing side quests only to look for Brendan and Theo, voiced by Bryan Dechart and Ameila Rose Blaire, and even then, I felt like the story just... ends. When I went to do the final mission, I actually didn’t realize it was the final mission. It does say a point of no return, and I’ve experienced that once before in a game, but I just thought it’d be a really long mission, not the end of the game.

  There’s too many side missions I feel, and as mentioned in the video, a lot of copy and paste kinds which are boring, while some are worth doing, but you can’t tell which is which until you visit those locations.

  Game machanics:

  I’m an easily confused person, but I still felt like the game doesn’t really explain... much. All this tech, upgrades, add-ons, abilities, weapons, hacking, and WHY THE FUCK AM I OVERHEATING!? Like... did anyone else feel overwhelmed? I’d be hours and hours into the game, and I still didn’t know what did what. Heck, there’s stuff now I still don’t understand, like... consumerables. I never use them, EVER!

  I just find them kinda pointless, and they’re fucking everywhere, which is probably my problem because I pick EVERYTHING up. I just wanted the game to explian things better. Even BOTW just throws you into the wildness with little to go on, but it’s easy to pick up and understand once you know how (yes, I know the games are totally different, but CP77 could’ve learned something from games such as that on how to introduce players on how to literally play their game).

  Crafting:

  Did anyone actually craft in this game? I crafted very little, and by that I mean I crafted a few grenades to use. I thought weapons could be upgraded, but I was wrong I think, and legendary weapons could be crafted instead? Either way, I never found enough material to craft anything legendary, and with how often I looted... something ain’t right there.

  Selling stuff:

  On PS4, it’s a fucking nightmare. It’s sooooo slow. It would’ve been nice to have an option like ‘sell all commons/whites’ or selecting multiple items and then go ‘sell’. But no, you have to sell each item individually, and with how the game performs on PS4 currently... yeah, not fun.

  SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS!

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

        The story:

Confusing. I got the impression that Arasaka were the bad guys, since y’know... killing Jackie, the son killing the father, etc. Then Takemura enters the scene, thinks we’re the killers, then we both get attacked by robo ninjas, who I haven’t got a fucking clue are, and then... Takemura is trying to save me. When it said ‘finish him off’, I thought it meant Takemura (I think I ignored the prompt, thinking Takemura would die in that moment).

I also kept getting confused on character names within the Arasaka’s, namely Saburo and Yorinobu, constantly getting lost on what and who Takemura was referring to, but I think that’s a me problem and not the fault of the game.

Romances:

  I still have yet to romance someone, but my first encounter with a romancable character was Panam. Little did I know... that she’s straight, so my female V cannot romance her. So. Lame. There’s 4 romances in the game, and we’re limited to 2 per gender? Judy is nice, but I really liked Panam... Why not just make them all bi so from a player perspective, there’s more choice? That’s what Joytoys are, with Skye and Angel as prime examples. Just put the gay/lesbian representation in game elsewhere, but not with romancable characters that are limited, because that’s just lame to me. AC Odyssey didn’t have that problem... It’s really not difficult. According to a YouTube comment on Kerry’s romance, in the Cyberpunk board game, Kerry was bisexual anyway, so... what gives?

Character deaths:

I hated that Jackie died. Seriously? That lovable goof giant just killed off in the most anticlimatic and lame way? If you’re gonna kill off such a great character, at least go out with a bang. The guy didn’t get enough screen time and he was such a lively character in the doom of gloom of Cyberpunk’s world.

It also sucked that T-Bug and Dex died too. T-Bug... how did she even die? The game doesn’t explin anything, and the way she went off comms like that made me think that we’d see her late, as I didn’t realize she was actually dead for a good while, expecting her to make contact at some point.

As for Dex... yes, he did screw us over, but I still liked him. The way he talked, his voice, his style... I just felt he could’ve had more to give.

Then there’s Takemura, another death that I thought had to happen, but the game fucks him over by giving no indication that he could’ve been saved. According to the PS4 trophies, it says 0.8% had Takemura get his revenge for Saburo’s death near the end of the game, so... hardly anyone knew he could be saved.

They couldn’t have done like a decision that could’ve saved him? If they didn’t want to make it obvious, fine, don’t label literally “save Takemura” and “leave Takemura”, but have a decision there at least. Or, explain at some point in the game (maybe near the beginning) that following what the mission says doesn’t have to be taken so literally. When gamers are told by a mission on what to do, they do. How would we ever know to crawl in a tiny hole and find Takemura that way? Again, I assumed we’d meet up later, waiting... waiting... Hanako makes no mention of him whatsoever, and eventually I realized he was dead. Even called him on his phone to confirm it. So lame...

  Smelting legendary weapons:

  I think I accidentally smelted down Johnny’s Revolver, and I fucking loved that thing! The damage, the sound, the awesome reload animation... So now on my other playthrough I’m gonna try and not mess that up. How on Earth are Johnny’s clothes non-sellable/smeltable, but his gun is? How do you mess that up!? Let me mark certain weapons so I don’t accidentally sell them. Again, CP77 can learn from other games...

  Buying cars:

  I’ve bought... one car, and I hate that buying cars are labelled as side missions. Why would I want to buy a hoard of cars? I’m not made of money? I can’t just spend 22k on a car I don’t even really want, especially when I got Johnny’s car, and the bikes of Jackie and Scorpion. Just... have a single place where you can go to buy cars instead of littering the map. I read somewhere that buying cars is the Corpo path only, but I’m not sure?

  The endings:

  I think the ending I got was a common one. I understand there are 5 endings? I chose to go back to Earth and... eventually die I guess, because I didn’t trust Arasaka. I picked the other choice to see what happens, and I wish there was some explaination. You’re just stuck in some program, waiting for a body? If one will even be available? I felt like both endings kinda sucked, and dare I say, the ending you can get much earlier sitting on the roof was oddly more satisfying to me, because you get an actual cutscene with Johnny, and overall, it’s just a nice heart to heart moment. Sure, it’s sad, but there was emotion. The other 2 common endings just felt empty to me. I still have to watch the other, more rare endings.

  Okay I’m done. This is mostly a big rant, but I did still like the game. It just wasn’t ready for release, even after 8 years, and it did had problems, outside of bugs and performance issues.

#Cyberpunk 2077 #Review #Rant #CP77 Other #My CP77 Stuff

[arecomicsevengood]

Movies Watched During Self-Isolation, Part One: Mostly Just Paul Schrader Stuff

 I’ve been watching movies during this period of not leaving the house, which goes back a bit further than just when we are all told to stop leaving the house. The streaming services I have access to at the moment are just Kanopy and The Criterion Channel, so I have been watching different things than people who have Netflix or Hulu have been, most likely. These things are generally older, and possess a different set of aesthetic values than things seem to in our era of codified genres and niche marketing. Even the things I end up not being particularly into feel refreshing, in aggregate. There is a real sense of “they don’t make movies like this anymore!” which means, in a lot of ways, movies that seem keyed into being movies, that seem to understand the role of actors as charismatic, mysterious, or sexy, that then dictates the stories that get told. Let me break it down into some specifics, which will then function as recommendations.

The Comfort Of Strangers, 1990, dir. Paul Schrader. One thing I’ve been watching is a lot of Paul Schrader movies. This one comes from the era of the “erotic thriller” and was maybe marketed as such, but it feels like a post-Peter-Greenaway thing, maybe because of the presence of Helen Mirren. Mirren plays one half of weird and creepy older couple with Christopher Walken. Walken’s voice opens the movie with a disembodied narration that sets a tone of creepiness right from the jump, but the disembodied nature of it, heard as the camera roams through a residence, also recalls Last Year At Marienbad. The movie is largely about a younger couple, played by Rupert Everett and Natasha Richardson, who are vacationing in Venice, and end up being stalked and sort of seduced by Walken and Mirren. The lens of sexuality is a huge part of this movie, but it’s this sort of mysterious force, like the gaze of the camera is itself a malevolent thing, because whoever’s behind it can be an uncaring pervert. Movies’ particular relationship to sex, and sex’s example of a compulsive behavior with capability of destruction, feels like it plays a large role in a bunch of the Paul Schrader movies I watched. I often chose to watch them because of this, their understanding of compulsion made them compulsively watchable, which I appreciated when I felt distracted or inattentive.

In The Cut, 2003, dir. Jane Campion. This has a similar thing going for it. In many of the film’s earliest shots, the camera follows the lead (Meg Ryan) from a distance, with bodies we don’t see the entirety of in the foreground, giving the impression she’s being stalked or in imminent danger, although mostly she isn’t. She plays a writing teacher who lives in an apartment where the head of a murder victim is found in the garden. Mark Ruffalo plays a detective investigating, they end up fucking, even as she becomes paranoid about all the men around her, especially after her sister (played by Jennifer Jason Leigh) is also killed. The interest in this lies in the fact that it’s directed by a woman and has both an oppositional relationship to the male gaze and an interest in depicting female desire. It feels pretty sordid and a little rushed at the end. However, the ending seems rushed because the person that ends up being the killer is a person Meg Ryan’s character had no romantic or sexual interest in, and so largely ignored or didn’t think about. It’s not a bad movie but to whatever extent a movie stands on the strength of how interesting its actors are, this one doesn’t deliver. There’s a cameo by Patrice O’Neal though, as like the gay doorman at a stripclub Jennifer Jason Leigh lives above? If I understood correctly.

Patty Hearst, 1988, dir. Paul Schrader. This one’s really interesting, and I’ve kept thinking about it for a number of reasons. One is the interest of the Patty Hearst story itself, which I guess I hadn’t heard the entirety of or thought much about. For one thing, I don’t think I really understood the concept that she was brainwashed or had stockholm syndrome? Which is one of the things that makes the movie good, or what makes Natasha Richardson, playing Patty Hearst, so amazing to watch: She’s really compelling playing someone who has no idea why they’re doing what they’re doing at any given moment, because when you’re brainwashed, you don’t know you’re brainwashed, which is both perfectly obvious to me thinking about now, but that I also need to remind myself of when I think about MSNBC viewers positive feelings towards Joe Biden, for instance. The movie begins with her sudden kidnapping. There are shots that show her, in flashbacks to her life before that point, in a blindfold, that I wasn’t too into when I thought they were going to be sort of the entirety of the movie, but is I guess just intended as a visual metaphor for this sort of trauma as a deconditioning thing that removes whatever sense of a historical self she would’ve previously had. I also didn’t realize the Symbionese Liberation Army was basically just a sex cult with very few members, that robbed banks essentially just to fund themselves. Ving Rhames plays the leader of a group otherwise made up of a bunch of neurotic and ineffective white people. A lot of stuff happens, it’s all pretty interesting, and it doesn’t feel anything like a biopic, it always feels like a story is being told, but it’s always destabilized, and always heading towards doom. After arrest, Patty Hearst’s lawyer makes the argument that, even though she’s clearly brainwashed and undergone great trauma, and that is why she joined in bank robberies and the spouting of revolutionary rhetoric, it will be impossible for her to get a fair trial making that argument as so many parents felt their children went away to college in the 1960s and came back brainwashed as different people, though they did it of their own free will.

Hardcore, 1979, dir. Paul Schrader. This one’s about George C. Scott as midwesterner whose daughter gets kidnapped on a Church trip to California and ends up in porno. I guess has some parallels with Patty Hearst in terms of preying on parental fears, but also has this sort of sordid exploitation-y vibe in its basic summary. Peter Boyle plays a private detective whose debauched nature really bothers George C. Scott, whose beliefs the film takes pretty seriously. The end of the movie revelation that the daughter basically did run away and hates her dad sort of comes from nowhere, but the daughter is largely absent from the entire movie, and the disconnect between her and her father plays out so much from the father’s perspective it’s not really unearned. It also makes sense considered in the context of Patty Hearst, which is both a deepr work, but also a historical one, sort of about the creation of the moment and cultural context in which Hardcore would’ve been made and received. I wish Schrader’s first movie, Blue Collar, was available on a service I had access to.

Auto Focus, 2002, dir. Paul Schrader. This was the first Paul Schrader movie I was aware of, it was sort of critically-acclaimed. I avoided it because it seemed somewhat exploitative and grossly voyeuristic, being about Hogan’s Heroes star Bob Crane, here played by Greg Kinnear, and his interest in filming himself having sex with random women lured in by his celebrity. The film is characterized by a certain glib irony, but it’s also defined by the presence of Willem Dafoe, who’s great in it, as a completely loathsome person, taking advantage of Bob Crane’s celebrity to participate in the sex he otherwise would not have access to, and hastening his downfall by transforming him into a totally debauched sex addict, before finally killing him. The contrast between Bob Crane’s wholesome exterior and his descent into depravity is mirrored by a contrast between the the sort of jokey mockery of that contrast and a lived-in sense of squalor in the depiction of two men in a basement jerking off as they watch porn together.

Light Sleeper, 1992, Paul Schrader. Dafoe stars in this one, alongside Susan Sarandon, much hated by some for her adamant refusal to support Hillary Cilnton. This makes Sarandon admirable to me, but I don’t know how much I’ve seen her in. She’s in Louis Malle’s Atlantic City, also on the Criterion Channel, a movie I thought was great when I saw it but have forgotten almost everything about in the years since. Dafoe plays a mid-level drug dealer, who’s been off drugs for a few years, and Sarandon is his higher-level contact, who’s looking to get out of selling entirely and enter the cosmetics business. Dana Delaney plays Dafoe’s ex-wife, from his addict days, back in town because her mother is dying in the hospital. The compulsion towards sex that’s present in a bunch of other Schrader movies is replaced here with drug addiction as this force to fight against, or exist in tension with, and also love, which is very present in this movie and very tender. The movie also boasts early-career cameos by Sam Rockwell and David Spade, and the great Jane Adams plays Dana Delaney’s sister. Delaney’s character ends up relapsing and dying, probably due to the shock of her mother’s death, probably not helped by the unplanned reminder of DaFoe’s character. It seems very rare for a movie to have roles as strong for women as this movie does. Even the psychic who Dafoe sees in two scenes, played by Mary Beth Hurt, who I don’t know from anything else, is great.

La Truite, 1982, dir. Joseph Losey. A friend of mine highly recommended Joseph Losey’s film Mr. Klein, but that one’s hard to track down. This stars a young Isabelle Huppert as a young woman who gets flown out to Japan by a rich businessman. He doesn’t have sex with her, just sort of enjoys the money being lavished on her, but her husband, who she also does not seem to have sex with, gets pretty pissed about it.

Eva, 1962, dir. Joseph Losey. This is a really similar movie from Joseph Losey in a lot of ways. It stars Jeanne Moreau, who also has a smaller part in La Truite, and it’s also about a woman whose whole deal is getting money from rich dudes and not having sex with them. In La Truite, Huppert’s life gets kind of ruined, in this movie, Moreau does the ruining, of an author/hack who is married to an actress from one of his work’s movie adaptations who doesn’t know what the he confesses to Moreau, which is that he stole the book from his dead brother and didn’t write a word of it. I wasn’t that into either of these movies but I feel like the sort of archetype, of like a young beautiful woman who doesn’t want sex and sort of just busts men’s balls “works” in a film, how film’s objective or ambivalent view makes their motivations opaque in a way that allows them to be compelling to male and female audiences alike, if for different reasons. Vera Chytilova’s Daisies plays on this sort of youthful feminine brattiness too, to a more anarchic effect. None of these characters have as much depth as Patty Hearst or any of the women in Light Sleeper but they nonetheless suggest the possession of such, kept far away from the camera’s eye.

[praphit]

IT Chapter 2: maybe he’s simply stupid

Party People! That killer clown... is BACK!

No, not that killer clown (although one could argue Ronald's body count is vastly higher).

THAT clown!

Good ol Pennywise.

The last time that we saw Pennywise he had just gotten his ass beat by a bunch of kids. Not a good look for any certified tough person; especially if it's a tough person who's supposed to be a villain!

He can't show his face around the villain bars or parties no more - he's a laughing stock! It wasn't just any group of kids he was defeated by, it was a group of kids who embrace the fact that they're losers ("The Losers Club"). That's pretty bad when a group of people accept their deprecatory labels to the point that they form not a support group, but a social club. Imagine if you were made fun of for having stinky feet, and you decided to join "The Stanky Feet Club". That's the level of debasement we're talking about. Pennywise got beat up by self-proclaimed losers.

You can't be considered a villain or a monster if you go down like that. You can't call the Justice League for Pennywise; they ain't coming! They MIGHT send Robin, MAYBE. I'm not sure the cops would even waste their time. I think that if they got a call about Pennywise, they'd just see if they could gather a gang of kids from a nearby middle school to oppose him.

Pennywise had to redeem himself.

So, in Chapter 2 - TWENTY SEVEN YEARS LATER, he decides to go after those same loser kids as adults. 27 years! Seems like a long time to plot one's revenge - you know, maybe he's simply stupid.

Yes, a long time, but here we are. He starts off his scheme for revenge on the Losers Club by eating gay people.

Yep.

Now, I'm not saying that Pennywise is homophobic or anything (the town he's in called Derry def is tho - my goodness!), but maybe you don't START your plan of evil with the LGBTQ community. You know?? - not a good look. I'm sure Thanos, when he's out there snapping away worlds, had a PR person whispering in his ear.

"Look, Thanny baby! You know I love ya! But, let's be sure (on this tour of destruction) NOT to hit up the minority planets first; don't worry we'll get to them. But, let's snap away a couple of predominantly white planets in the beginning."

It's bad for approval rating. I mean, the white supremacists ratings would hit an all time high, but... no one REALLY wants that look.

But, Pennywise stamps down possible homophobia on his resume, and grabs the attention of... the Old Spice guy. Or known in this universe as MIKE.

His Old Spice days are over! He's going for the neighborhood crazy guy look now.

Mike is the token black dude in The Losers Club. Mike has been living in an attic for 27 years ever since "the losers" made a promise that if Pennywise ever came back, they'd all come back too, to stop him for good.

Mike gives all of the losers a call one by one to convince them to come back and honor their promise.

People let me just say, if you're traumatized in a certain area, the normal thing to do is to leave that area and never go back.

I remember, back when I was in middle school, seeing one of my teachers outside of school at a market (weird in an of itself). But, it was raining hard, and her makeup was running big time. Now, people, I did not realize at the time the powers of makeup. I knew it could enhance one's appearance. I did not know it could give one a whole new face. This rainy day I saw my teacher's face melt off as she was walking towards me in the market to say "hello" Freaked me the bleep out!  People I’m sorry, but I’m just telling you my truth from the perspective of a child at the time.

It was like - with makeup she looked like Halle Berry

And as the makeup washed off - she looked like Morgan Freeman

I don't think y'all understand.

With makeup - 

 (well, not QUITE like that, but pretty much. I didn't do well in that class. I was distracted for some reason.)

Without makeup - 

That drastic!

I ran away from that monster (or woman, I guess - people, I'm just saying that I can't PROVE she's NOT a "monster" who ripped off her face). Point is I have no interest of going to that part of town ever again. Trauma runs deep.

These losers now adults have sweet lives (well, most of them). Why go back to face a killer clown?

BUT, Mike does his thing and they all band back together!

Like the Avengers:

They have a The leader - James McAvoy The jokester - Bill Hader The tall, sexy guy - though he used to be the fat kid

 (see that - bullying has it's uses. He’s getting all of the money and women now! Had he not been bullied he may have be destroyed by that other clown).

The hypochondriac (there's one on ever super team right?)

The scared of everything guy (... well, they are "the losers")

The sexy chick - Jessica Chastain

And the black dude - Mr. Spice

BOOM! BACK!

They track down Pennywise - he's out there doing his thing: eating kids and gay people... and shapeshifting into old ladies (like seen in the trailer).

He might have to stamp down "pervert" on his resume as well. Cuz not only is he shapeshifting into old ladies, but he's getting naked before chasing people too. This is some plan he's executing!

Pennywise's powers are amped up in this chapter, though maybe too much. Annnnnnd here's where the big flaws begin for me. I know, party people... I was looking forward to this movie too I loved chapter one), but...

Big Flaw #1 - Unexplained rules

I'm not sure of the rules of Pennywise's powers. I can't tell what's real or not, due to all of the hallucinations and whether or not people can be hurt in the sitches - I don't feel like it's consistent. There are plenty of times when he has his prey, and they slip through his fingers somehow. Why does he keep letting them escape? Or are his powers not as great as advertised? If it's all in their heads, are they ever in any real danger? Idk. Look, with Jigsaw, we didn't need an explanation for how an senior citizen riddled with cancer is making all of these elaborate traps, purchasing materials for these traps, and cleaning up the horrifyingly bloody evidence again and again. 

BUT, we knew what Jigsaw was all about. We knew the extent of his "powers" - that's all I'm saying! Plus, Pennywise sets someone free to go after The Losers (which the plot def did not need), but how that whole thing plays out (concerning Pennywise's abilities) makes no sense.

Big Flaw #2 - bad storytelling

Pennywise's origin is kinda explained in this chapter. I say "kinda" cuz we as the audience experience the telling of that story vicariously through someone on some type of acid trip. Like any good drug trip, who the hell knows what was going on?? So, they screwed up the origin, they never explain his powers well enough, the whole thing with The Losers coming back and listening to crazy ass Mike (who's been tripping on acid and living in an attic for 27 years) as he leads them in a quest to kill the clown MAKES NO SENSE. I'm not even going to get into said "quest" - also makes no sense. And then the ending... wow, stupifying.

Big Flaw #3 - CGI

It's not that it's bad, it just isn't scary. It's the opposite of scary. It's down right goofy at times. Like a spook house created for the whole family. Perfect example is in the triler I mentioned, when Jessica Chastain is being chased by the naked old lady. The way that they do the cg there... If I were Jessica Chastain in that moment, I wouldn't have been scared. I would have been like "Really dude? *heavy sigh* Pennywise, can we talk about what's going on with you? And why the bleep are you naked anyway?! You know they're gonna stamp "pervert" on your resume. None of this is scary. And you're just going to let me escape! You big dummy!"

Seriously, maybe he's simply stupid.

I mean look at him.

Maybe that's scary, because that's the face he makes before he eats you, but it's also the drooling face I've seen people make when met with basic math problems.

It's not all bad! The acting is really good! And I was never bored in this 3 hour long movie (which is impressive), but all of those flaws equal a GRADE ----  D

Poor Pennywise.... what will his legacy be? Pervert, homophobe, possibly plain stupid person, who chose to dress like a clown. Got his ass beat by a group of kids... THEN that same group of kids come back as adults and beat his ass again. And the way he's defeated... it's so humiliating (and confusing - let's not forget the poor writing), but yikes... No "monster" to my memory has ever been defeated in such a way; I actually felt bad for him.

They had better not make a Chapter 3.

At the end of the movie, crazy ass Mike is packing his bag and about to leave the attic. I was thinking to myself "That dude is unstable." Wherever he's going, he's going to engage in some crazy behavior.They COULD make another chapter out of THAT. Mike starts dressing up like a clown and eating kids. Make that movie!

But, no more Pennywise please! He set scary clowns back ten years with this movie.

#it chapter 2 #pennywise #john praphit #praphitproductions.com #Halle Berry #morgan freeman #praphit #movies #Movie Reviews #Horror Movies #lgbtq #thanos #mcdonalds #ronald mcdonald #clowns

[arlingtonpark]

SNK 117 Review

Eren is a jackass. That is the very first insight into his thinking we get. I almost came.

Death is raining from the skies and Eren can only think to think “Bring it on?” Sorry bro, but how did you think picking a fight with the football team would end?

Seriously, Eren was a jackass here. He doesn’t just jump headlong into the deep end, he fucking pole vaults into it. While lighting a joint and having a cameraman snap a pic for Instagram.

It’s so hilarious how this chapter plays out. Eren walks in thinking he’s hot shit, and by the end he’s throwing a temper tantrum because he’s about to lose.

People may not like me using that term, temper tantrum, but it really is the best one for what happened. The fight is clearly not going his way. He about to lose to fucking Reiner of all people (no offense to any Reiner stans out there).

And he’s pissed.

He is fucking pissed off. As if the ear-splitting screams of anger weren’t a dead giveaway.

Eren…just isn’t a very mature person. I said earlier that Eren would go apeshit if things started going against him, and it turns out I was right.

Eren just hates to lose. The idea that he could be dominated by someone else is so offensive to him that it turns him into a mindless ape.

He embodies the macho tough guy archetype. He may like to pound his chest a lot, but he’s really insecure. He took a punch to the face from Armin like it was nothing, but all it took was a snide remark to get to him.

This insecurity likely stems from his general worldview. One thing that struck me about Eren early on was how much he talked about hierarchies. He talks of the Titans dominating humanity. Of there being strong people and weak people. The existence of strong and weak people implies a hierarchy.

Eren sees the world in terms of hierarchies. There are strong people who fight, win, and get to live. Then there are weak people who cower, lose, and die.

This is why I compare Eren to Donald Trump a lot. Eren’s worldview is basically Trump’s. There is no difference. You’re either a winner or a loser. If you don’t have power, you are powerless.

It’s more obvious with Trump, though, because Trump is just more unabashed that Eren is. Trump once called his Chief of Staff into the Oval Office and ordered him to swat a fly for him. He relishes the power he has over people and abuses it for kicks. Just like a certain ice cream shit swirl-haired brat and another certain leader of the Cult of Zeke.

Trump’s actions and rhetoric are infused with this worldview. Whenever Trump interacts with someone else, whenever he speaks of relations between people, it is obvious he sees the world in zero-sum terms. People like him believe we live in a world of slaves and masters.

This Trumpian attitude is pervasive among the EFC. Yelena, Floch, and even to a certain extent, Louise. And then there’s Eren. Zeke may have a monkey for a titan form, but the almost literal king of Ape Mountain here is Eren himself.

Eren has been obsessed with notions of dominance and strength since childhood. His whole beef with the titans, which predates the killing of his mother, was all about their dominance over him. The death of his mother was just part of the puzzle of what drove him early on.

This attitude has been apparent since the training arc. Remember what happened when it looked like he might flunk out and be sent to the fields? Mikasa had a good point about there being more than one way to fight, but Eren wouldn’t have it.

The fall of Shighanshina was cast as an act of domination by the titans, which, given Eren’s hierarchical worldview, was also necessarily a sign of his own weakness.

Failing to pass military training and fight the titans is thus also a sign of his weakness, which is why he was so obsessed with not flunking.  

Eren may, ultimately, just be using the EFC for his own ends, but it makes an awful lot of sense for him to be allied with them for it to be just that. Eren and Floch share a worldview. As most die-hard nationalists are, they are cruel.

At the heart of most nationalist movements is a grievance over the domination of your people by an outside force. In the United States, it’s the grievance of white people over the supposed dominance of colored people. In Europe, it’s the grievance of white people over the supposed ‘arabization” of the continent.

On Paradis, it’s the outrage over Eldian persecution. The Marleyans are dominating the Eldians and this is seen as illegitimate. And it is! But the series is walking a fine line. Nationalism is a very real and dangerous movement and the series needs to be careful if it’s going to show them as not entirely wrong.

It’s easy to think the series is just playing the well-intentioned extremist trope, but there’s a subtle nuance here.

This isn’t like in My Hero Academia, where the Hero Killer believed commercialism had cheapened the hero profession, so he set out to murder whom he believed were the worst offenders.

Vigilante justice is wrong. There is a system in place to deal with wrongful acts. Because that’s what’s fair to all involved parties. Judge, jury, and executioner in one person is tyrannical, and My Hero Academia rightfully denies the Hero Killer any moral authority.

Attack on Titan, in contrast, grants moral authority to the EFC. Hange said “[The EFC] must believe in Eren, who in turn believes in Zeke. Of course, all we ever did was doubt Zeke. We never tried to move forward. But ultimately, the Eldian people have no choice but to rely on the Yeager brothers’ ability to rumble the land…which means it was the Corps who had been squandering its precious time, putting the Eldian people’s lives at risk. It’s no surprise many soldiers felt that way.”

The point is conceded. The story legitimizes not just their basic worldview, but the actions they take as a result of that worldview. The story endorses insubordination.

It’s the same thing on modernizing the military too. Modernizing the military was part of Zeke’s cover plan, but presumably because they’re weary of Zeke, Paradis has apparently not done much to reform. They still do anti-titan training with swords!

Floch bad-mouths Shadis, but he’s just an instructor. The face of the problem, basically. Hange, Pixis, Nile, and Zackley are the leaders of the military, so the story’s support for Floch’s point about needing a modern military is also an indictment of them.

The story, basically, throws them under the bus to make a point about needing a top of the line military.

This is partly why I fear the story is sympathetic to the EFC. This is a story about fighting. And right now, the EFC are the only ones doing that right now. It’s the EFC that’s out there fighting and dying to protect Paradis.

And the people who’re actually worth cheering for?

They’re in jail right now shitting bricks over nothing!

So…Eren’s been up to some real shit lately, hasn’t he?

He’s shat all over Marley. He’s shat all over his friends. He’s shat all over his country. He’s been a real shit-throwing ape, hasn’t he?

All this inexplicable shit throwing has most people convinced there’s some plan here. Eren’s doing this because he has a good reason to do it and we’ll all be praising him for his brilliance when this is all over.

But a lot of people talk about Trump like his actions are part of some plan, too, and that has me thinking about something:

What if there is no plan?

Whenever Trump does something inexplicable people often assume it’s part of some plan. He’s beefing with the Teletubbies on Twitter because it distracts us from his family separation policy. It just has to be. It has to be. There’s no way someone, anyone, could be this stupid!

This is called the cleverness fallacy and it occurs when people just assume there’s an underlying plan in place for no real reason.

In reality, Trump beefs with Teletubbies because he’s actually is that stupid.

In this chapter, Eren struts out to face the invading Marleyans by himself. Now, looking at this purely from an outsider’s perspective, you would think he would do this because he has a plan in place. He’s walking out to face the invading hordes solo because he’s laid a trap or something.

But no. He had no plan. He had nothing.

What if that is what’s been going on this whole time?

What if the reason he’s been doing all this seemingly random shit is because he legit has no idea what he’s doing?

At the very least, I’m willing to bet he hasn’t fully thought things through. I’m sure he has an end goal in place, and he probably has a vague idea how to achieve it, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he’s been improvising most of the time.

Like, suppose the end goal is to use the wall titans to protect Paradis while implementing some method that circumvents the Curse of Ymir? In that case, is it really hard to believe Eren is mostly fuzzy on whether the Curse can actually be circumvented at all, but is doing all this anyway because he’s convinced himself it’s the only way?

Eren supposedly has this strategy in place, even though thematically it makes no sense. Eren isn’t special. He’s not. The whole thing with his character is that he’s not humanity’s savior. He’s not going to win the war for everyone.

And yet. Now this guy is going to save the world singlehandedly? He’s concocted a master plan and has everyone eating out of the palm of his hand, and he’s doing it all by himself? Something about all that doesn’t add up.

(I will admit it is possible Historia may be in on the plan. It’s possible Eren told Historia to appear as though she’s going along with Zeke’s plan.)

If it turned out Eren’s been mostly blustering his way to success, I wouldn’t be shocked.

This chapter was a nice change of pace for Eren. He rarely looks so…vulnerable. Did you see the look on his face when Zeke showed up like he was fucking Gandalf at Helm’s Deep? That couldn’t have been more fairy tale-like if you put Zeke in shining armor and Eren in a dress.

Eren is definitely going to betray Zeke, but I’m glad Zeke at least gets to feel like he has something real going on here with Eren. He finally gets to be an onii-chan.

Zeke tells Eren to leave the rest to his big brother. Using “big brother” here is a bit saccharine, but it says a lot. I’m sure it feels very gratifying for Zeke to be able to say he’s got Eren’s back.

Isayama is going to work the 104th into the final battle somehow, right? This is apparently the final battle, we’ve gotta make it a spectacle somehow. A three way fight between the Marleyans, Zeren, and Eren’s compatriots would work.

IDK where Isayama is going with them thinking the Rumbling’s started. How hilarious would it be if Armin went colossal and killed almost everyone in the building (he could probably shield his friends like Eren did in Trost) because he thought the world was about to be destroyed and the only hope to save it is if Eren dies right now.

Except—oops, there was no rumbling at all. My bad!

I could see Isayama doing that. +1 to him if he does.

This chapter features a lot of war action, so I guess I can talk about something that’s always bothered me about the discourse surrounding this series.

-deep breathe-

No one understands what a war hawk is.

One common belief about this series is that SNK is anti-war because of how gruesome its depiction of combat is. This is a gross misunderstanding.

Combat is indeed depicted in the series as being unpleasant. People die in horrific ways. Torn limb from limb. Eaten alive. Crushed like a love bug. The clear stance of the series is that war is an ugly thing.  

But FFS, that’s not what anti-war means!

No one who’s serious denies that war is ugly. That’s not the point. It’s not about whether or not war is a glorious virtue or an inglorious vice. Those aren’t the terms of the debate.

One of the most prominent war hawks in the United States was Senator John McCain! McCain was intimately familiar with the horrors of war. He was shot down in Vietnam, imprisoned by the enemy, tortured, and he carried the scars of that nightmare until the day he died.

But he was a war hawk. When there was trouble somewhere around the world, he supported using military force to resolve the issue. Because while he didn’t deny the ugliness of war, he believed military force would ultimately result in a good end. He believed it was the best possible option and was therefore a necessity.

The debate between the hawks and the doves is about the necessity of war, not the aesthetics of it.

Believing in the necessity of war is different from glorifying it. Nazis glorified war. Isayama is not a Nazi.

If the series were truly anti-war, it would uphold non-violent alternatives to war. But SNK clearly does not do that.

Armin is kind of a whipping boy in this regard. There are several prominent examples of him trying to negotiate with the enemy, only to be thoroughly rebuffed. The point the series is trying to make is clear: the world is cruel; war is the only option, however unfortunate.

That’s not to say the series supports wanton violence. The series may lean towards hawkishness, but its stance is more complex than that. Characters who seek to minimize casualties are cast as heroes. See: Smith, Erwin.

Merciful acts, where appropriate, are also smiled upon. See: Blaus, Mr.

But this is still an overall hawkish stance, and moreover, it is seemingly informed by a very crude worldview.

One of the most famous sequences in the story is of Mikasa being kidnapped and Eren rescuing her. Even now, I’m struck by the sheer…brutalism of the moral.

Mikasa’s parents are murdered and she is taken to be enslaved. Eren kills two of them in retaliation, but is cornered by the last remaining one. Mikasa is the only one who can save him, and herself by extension. On the brink of losing his life, Eren calls for a cowering Mikasa to fight. In that moment, Mikasa had an epiphany.

She saw a connection between this scene and many others in her life. A grasshopper killing a butterfly. Her father killing a duck for food.

Predator and prey.

Strong and weak.

Winners and losers.

Dominators and the dominated.

Fighters and quitters.

The world that the girl saw was a cruel one. Living means being a winner. Being a winner means fighting.

Fighting means killing.

Empowered by this realization, Mikasa is able to kill the slaver and save Eren’s life.

At the end, the moral of the story is given to us: “This is a cruel world and only the winners survive.”

If you lose, you die. If you win, you live. And you can’t win if you don’t fight.

If you don’t kill.

Now, of course, it made sense for Mikasa to kill the slavers; it was defensive, but that’s not the point. This is a story. It is constructed to impart certain values to us, the readers. This anecdote doesn’t just exist to show us how Eren met Mikasa, it exists to distill for us the values of the story.

This is why I think the story will not end with the Eldians and Marleyans finding peace. This is not a story about negotiating. This is a story about fighting.

In that way, Attack on Titan is pro-war, not anti-war. It is not glorified, but it is upheld as a necessity.

It will be interesting where the series comes down on the rightfulness of Eren’s actions. The values of this series is something I’ve been trying to puzzle out for some time.

It’s one thing to support fighting in self-defense. It’s another thing entirely to support what Eren did. Attacking another country because you know they will attack you eventually, instead of imminently, is morally repugnant and illegal under current law.

War is supposed to be an awful thing, remember? Therefore, it is equally awful to just “skip to the end” when relations look bleak. You can’t do that. It’s not right.

It’s not fair to the people whose lives would be fucking annihilated. If it can be held off, it should be.

This is an island nation with an antagonistic enemy just across the sea. Patrol ships are sent into one another’s territorial waters. Their loud-mouthed supreme leader bellows about war crimes past.

But Japan hasn’t gone to war with North Korea yet. Hopefully, it never will.

Isayama can’t be this blind, right?

He realizes that if his story endorses Eren’s actions, then it’s hard not to read it as him calling for Japan to break the law, right?

War between countries is banned. You cannot attack another country just because you are on really bad terms with them, even if you know war is inevitable. Only if war is imminent can you justify an attack, even then it would be a controversial move.

This is why the story endorsing Eren’s attack is the thing that keeps me up at night. If this series is prepared to say it is not wrong on the merits to attack another country just because war is inevitable, then in the context of Japan, with its highly antagonistic relationship with North Korea, it’s basically warmongering.

It’s good then that we see Eren’s attack has backfired somewhat. The Marleyans are attacking earlier than expected, and they don’t seem as weakened as was thought they’d be. There’s still some hope.

One thread from the start of the Marley arc that hasn’t been brought up yet has been Zeke’s insistence on Marley attacking Paradis again, even though his plan the whole time was to escape to Paradis…after provoking Marley into attacking Paradis with Eren’s attack.

At this point, it seems clear Zeke suckered Marley into preparing for war so they’d have an invasion force cued up and ready to go when Eren attacked the festival.

Zeke wants Paradis to be attacked for some reason. Most likely it’s so they can use the Wall Titans as a show of force. Crush the invaders and no one will ever attack again. But things don’t seem to be panning out as Zeren had hoped.

Zeke apparently miscalculated (again) and thought the Marleyans would wait rather than go it alone.

Assuming Zeke’s been completely up front with Eren about his plans, it seems they both thought Marley would join forces with the rest of the world first. Eren is incredulous at this attack; he clearly didn’t see it coming. And in chapter 113, Zeke monologues that the world’s forces would be attacking soon. Not Marley specifically.

From a storytelling perspective, I really like this. It introduces some chaos into the battle and it forces everyone to improvise. That’s always good for tension.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk 117 #spoilers #eren jeager

[orionsangel86]

Episode Review - 14x01 - Want, Everything, Sunshine, and Beyonce

Hellatus is over everyone! Put away the crack memes and shit posts and bring out your meta caps because we are back in business! Oh boy are we back in business! 

Right before @tinkdw came over to watch the premier with me, we discussed our expectations and both agreed that whilst our expectations were pretty much in our boots, we would consider the episode a success if it was even remotely meta. We wanted to be able to see clearly constructed themes both as a continuation of what had come previously and as a foundation for a strong season going forward. We were both hoping that at least from a meta perspective, that the episode would leave us happy and thirsting for more.

Dabb did not disappoint us.

It was such a strong episode meta-wise. There is a lot to pick apart that is ripe for discussion and I seriously hope that Dabb will keep a close eye on the other writers to ensure that these themes continue throughout the season. Plot-wise it was a weaker episode, but then again Dabb has always focused on the character emotional arcs more than the actual plot points in recent years, and I am grateful for that. The second half of season 13 felt stagnant to me simply because there was little to no character development and from a meta perspective it was also extremely weak. I went into this hellatus feeling negative about the show simply because I hadn’t actually enjoyed an episode properly since 13x12. However, the season 14 opener was most definitely enough to quench my thirst and get me excited for the coming season. Fingers crossed it goes from strength to strength.

Long review under the cut

Michael!Dean - What Do You Want

Straight in after the introductory Nyoooom of Baby (driven by a grim looking Sam and a pretty impressive swap from title music to diegetic music), we are introduced to the angel of the hour. 

8 Things about Michael:

1. I am not sure how I feel about Jensen’s performance right now. He is playing Michael extremely straight and whilst I can see how this cold, calm portrayal can come across quite terrifying, it’s not a carry over from Christian Key’s performance. I don’t want to be too critical, because we only saw him in a few scenes so far, but when I compare it to how Tahmoh portrayed Gadreel alongside Jared, and the way Misha pretty much nailed Mark P’s performance (and greatly improved it), I guess I’m still waiting for Jensen to WOW me in the role. The one thing I will say is that he did terrify me and managed to come across creepy when acting alongside his own WIFE. So he's doing something right I'll give him that. When Jensen wants to have chemistry with someone, he does.

2. I like the fact that Michael’s goal right now seems to be to educate himself on our world. He’s not running around causing terror and mayhem like Lucifer, he’s learning how best to go about “improving” the world. He also appears to be inspiring people with his words: “Holy men, leaders, killers” and we have seen the effect he had already on Kip the Demon - who was inspired to run for King of Hell until Sam Fucking Winchester ruined that plan. I wonder if we will be seeing the fallout of Michael’s specific type of inspiration throughout the season.

3. “What do you want?” Obviously this question is an important one. It was repeated like six times throughout the episode, though never to the main characters. It looks like this is going to be the theme of the season and as far as TFW’s personal journey’s go, this is now the question we are asking them and the question being explored. What does Sam want? Or Cas? Or Dean? This has an endgame flavour to it that has me extremely excited. 

4.Michael’s own personal want of “A better world” is a follow on in a way of many of the villains that have come before him. For seasons now we have been exploring this concept of improving the world for the better. We had it first in season 8 when the brothers had the goal to do the trials to make a world without demons, in season 11 Amara’s vision was to destroy so she could reshape the world to her own blueprints that she saw as better than Chuck’s. Dabb era has been even more obvious, first with the goal of the British Men of Letters being “a world without monsters” which was shared by Mary wanting a better world for her boys, and then in season 13 Jack’s arrival floated the idea of “paradise world” to Castiel. I don’t think Michael is gonna fair any better than any of these others, and wonder exactly where all these escalated versions of “a better world” will end up. It's all exploring the notion that nothing is black and white, but in fact a grey area.

5. I already discussed Michael and Sister Jo here. Cas mirrors... Cas mirrors everywhere... I also side eye the "pretty things" line because it reaks of Dean and his whole sublimation thing. In that sense it seems Dabb is making Jo a mirror for both our boys. I'll be keeping a close eye on her from now on.

6. ”Why would he say yes to you?” “Love”. OH DEAN. Just, Dean wasn’t in this episode but my god did we feel his presence RIGHT HERE. And to think there are people out there that still think this is a macho mans show about macho manly men. I’ve never known another character with more heart than Dean Winchester. This show is about LOVE above all things. I wish people would stop trying to deny that fact.

7. Radioactive Pigeon:

Look I’m not trying to be critical okay it’s very pretty and this is the FIRST time they have attempted showing an angels true form and that is amazeballs and all, but still. He has little pigeon wings and a bent halo. Pfft.

8. The Purity of Vampires. I actually love this. I think it comes across a bit silly on the surface, but the whole idea of monsters being pure is a massive callback to purgatory and season 8 and anything that calls back to season 8 makes me happy. 

Sam Fucking Winchester

Excuse me while I scream HELL YES. I have been waiting for Sam to take on the leadership role for AGES. Honestly this was always my dream endgame for Sam. To organise and lead the hunting community. There’s your better world guys. It was something that the writers flirted with in late season 12, but at the time Sam only took on the position with Dean’s approval and encouragement to go ahead. Sam has always stepped back and let Dean take the lead throughout the show as the big brother and parental figure. I think this was always a role he was destined to fill and something that has been building in the subtext for a long time (much the same way as the toxic codependency has been shown to hold Sam back.) 

What’s of interest here is what will happen when Dean comes back and is fighting fit. Will Sam relinquish his leadership position to Dean? Or fight for it? Will this cause conflict? I read this amazing meta on this which turned into an epic discussion and I highly recommend reading it. My HEART.

Sam’s state in the episode is one of constant motion. He cannot stop for a second, always being pulled from one thing to another. He doesn’t sleep, he doesn’t get to change out of his hideous blue and orange shirt (which is officially now my favourite Sam shirt), he doesn’t even get to finish his soup. I know Jared said that Sam had a ‘grief beard’ but Tink and I are adamant that the beard is simply due to the fact that Sam doesn’t get the time to shave. He has taken so much weight on his shoulders and in amongst that has to deal with horribly traumatic things such as face the face of his abuser and actually be a healer to him. Sam doesn't get a moment to himself and spends all his time concerned about others. It's very noble of him, but he's going through the motions.

Sam is the contrast here to both Cas and Dean, who are physically and mentally stuck in their awful situations. Sam is also stuck in a way, stuck with no time to actually contemplate the situation he has got himself in. Stuck without a moment to breath, or to grieve his brother. Stuck holding the weight of the world on his shoulders as every other single character looks to him for support, help and guidance. Sam is the motherfucking Beyonce of the episode, that is for certain.

He is also calling the shots on hell now...

(x)

... I find it amusing that back in the early days Sam's destiny was to be the boy king of hell, and it's almost like he's fulfilled that destiny, not by being king, but by being gatekeeper and in a position powerful enough to scare the demons into submission. This is probably what Crowley intended. Sam probably owns the moon now.

About Nick - Well, first of all, I TOLD YOU SO. I did say that I could tell the guy from the back of his head and I was damn right about that. Learn to trust me guys I am occasionally good at this stuff. Okay, now that that is out of my system, let’s talk about this. Round of applause for Jared in this scene. Because he takes Sam’s hell trauma extremely seriously and made sure that every nuance, every twitch, was picked up by those camera’s. I loved that. Potentially Nick could be a good way to help Sam heal in the coming season, as Sam has finally freed himself from Lucifer’s grasp. Is it fair that he should have to look after the face that tormented him for years? No. Not at all, but could it prove somewhat cathartic in the end? Maybe. 

At the end of the day, Dabb must have considered Nick to have a purpose beyond “I want to give Bucklemming something to play with so they don’t fuck up my actual story” and “We need to keep stroking Mark P’s ego for some stupid reason”. Because otherwise I am really worried about how limited his power must be, and refuse to entertain the thought that he was overthrown by Singer and his horrid wife. I can see the potential in Nick being a dark mirror for Dean following his freedom from Michael’s possession. How Nick deals with the post possession trauma could be an indicator to how Dean is really coping even when he buries it.

At the same time, both Sam and Cas have been possessed by Lucifer, and therefore have all the experience between them to help Dean’s recovery without needing Nick to get involved. So I dunno guys. I’m trying to see the positive in something I otherwise despise. 

Anyway I thought Jared was fucking superb in that scene and pretty much the whole episode and want to give him a round of applause because it is rare that he truly gets to shine on his own without Jensen by his side.

Now all we need is for Sam to get some sleep. How he is still functioning by the episodes end I will never understand.

Castiel Everything Winchester

(x)

Look at him. So defiant and done. You can almost imagine that fire behind him burning in his eyes as well. He’s such a dom.

Several things about Cas in 14x01:

1. He is 100% done with every demon on the planet and doesn’t give a fuck. Honestly though. The way he says “Oh God” when Kip walks in. The way he rolls his eyes. I wonder if he had Dean’s voice in his head saying “You know who wears sunglasses indoors Cas? Douchebags.” 

2. He is making desperate choices in order to save Dean, which is certainly typical for him. The fact that he spends the entire episode stuck in a chair is a fantastic metaphor for his whole feelings on the situation, a metaphor then reinforced through a mirror at the end when he speaks with Jack (we never get anything explicit with Cas do we?). The fact that Cas can’t save Dean right now is weighing on him, but he is determined to do whatever it takes. The conversation he has with Sam at the end is a brilliantly short but important moment:

“I should never have gone to those demons”

“Cas no I don’t blame you. honestly I wish I had thought of it first. If it meant finding Dean I’d work with.. I’d do anything.”

The takeaway here is that actions speak louder than words. Sam HAS been distracted being leader of the hunters and having to face his own nightmares thanks to Nick, but Cas has literally been doing anything he can with a soul focus on saving Dean. 

It's an intimate moment between them. In a bunker now bustling with life and movement this is the only time in the episode that it really seems still. The library has always been Sam's private space, where he feels most at home - like the kitchen is for Dean. But here he and Cas sit as equals together weighed down by their shared grief. It's the soft moments like this that I love the most about this show. They are both willing to do anything they can, but the difference is that whilst Sam is being pulled in lots of different directions, Cas’s sole focus is Dean. Note that heaven wasn’t mentioned once. It hasn’t even crossed his mind.

3. Everyone Knows, but Cas doesn’t give a shit. 

“How is it you lost Dean, I thought you guys were joined at the... well you know, everything.”

It is an extremely explicit nod to Destiel. It is also the first time a line like this has made it into an episode since season 7 I think. The difference now being that we’ve had years of steady subtext and narrative building on the love story, hence the line has a different weight to those previously. It was very carefully written, careful not to imply that Cas was joined to BOTH Winchesters as the line was specifically about Dean. It was written by the showrunner, who would have known the significance of such a line, it encourages the view that all of heaven and hell have made their own assumptions about Dean and Cas’s relationship, and in case anyone wants to argue that the missing word was “hip” like the saying goes, the gesture and nod by Kip goes to prove otherwise. In other words, there is no platonic interpretation. Which is delightful.

Cas’s completely stoic silence is even more delightful. God I love him.

4. He can’t see demons true faces anymore. Like everyone else, Cas not realising those people were demons really threw me for a moment. Tink and I both agreed that the scene should have had Kip snap his fingers and have the demons smoke in and possess all those people instead - still catching Cas off guard but not making it seem like he is just super unobservant. I personally feel like this was just an error Dabb made. I have no desire to try to meta explain that one and I accept it as the error it is. I do like that it took an entire room of demons and 4 sets of enochian hand cuffs to overpower him though...The fact that he had to sit there and watch his family be beaten and almost killed around him whilst he was helpless again, is an excellent parallel to Dean’s current situation and what he will most likely have to face in the coming episodes, and also a reflection of Cas’s mental state (as mentioned above), Coming out of this episode it seems like this will be another season where Cas and Dean mirror each other and walk similar paths in terms of growth and development - if only those paths would meet with a kiss!

5. He’s the bait. Tink found this line hilarious straight away, where as I had to blink and ask why because I obviously took offence. But once we started discussing it and realised the quadruple entendre it is I found myself applauding Dabb on his genius. Cas IS used as bait, by the SPN PR people. Because he’s Mister Popularity. He’s also the character who causes the most conflict in fandom, with those who love him so much they are bitter and mean and those who simply hate him often complaining about the exact same things but in different ways - leaving the regular fans stuck in the middle (Tink explained this to me with delight - how both anti’s and bitter!cas girls alike will latch onto that line for completely different reasons). He’s also potentially a queerbait depending on how you look at it. But anyway. Cas’s epic eye rolls in this episode were almost enough to rival Sam’s bitchfaces. I am impressed.

6. He takes no pleasure for himself. I am forever going to obsess over Cas’s relationship with human food and drink:

“Coffee has no effect on me.”

“Me either, not anymore. But its like with saltwater taffee or infants, you know I just like the taste”

Although we can argue his refusal is out of stubbornness to not give the demon the satisfaction, even when accepting drinks from the Winchesters he doesn’t usually bother, or will stick with water. Even if he is seen ordering coffee it is usually only to avoid looking suspicious in diners. We know Cas enjoys some food and drink, but Cas rarely allows himself the pleasure. Even in 13x14 when Dean offered him a beer, it remained unopened. A symbolic metaphor for Cas refraining from indulging in other pleasures? This is why I am so so desperate for Michael to ask Cas what it is HE wants. Lucifer stated that Cas was a “pleasureless dullard” and I want to see this theme continue. Cas uses his grace as an excuse not to indulge and I consider this linked to meta about the “sacred oath” of heaven and Cas being duty bound and numbed by his grace. But these are all elements for a bigger meta at another time and the moment in this episode is just another snippet of that.

7. He looks awesome framed in fire. I just really liked the set up of Motown Meats as the new hang out for hell, with its fire pit and orange glowy bar. There is a lot of general symbolism there but I enjoyed the flames framed behind Cas in every shot he was in. Because even though he was mostly stuck in this episode, that fire raging inside him didn’t burn out once. He WILL save Dean. Just as he promised to Jack at the end, even if he get’s battered, beaten and bruised, his determined stubborness to save his husband will win eventually. Cas is no longer the broken thing of seasons 11/12. He well and truly rose like a phoenix in season 13 and now it’s showing through, as it’s a mission fueled by his own passion and love.

Jack Winchester (AKA my nougat son)

Poor Jack, like his father he hasn't had it easy in 14x01. He is struggling with his humanity now, his usefulness, in such a clear mirror to Cas that it kinda hits you in the face. He is desperately seeking guidance from those around him. First in the form of AU Bobby who has clearly bonded with Jack following their experiences together in apocalypse world.

It is great to finally see the Bunker gym! A room we all have ingrained in our fandom hive mind thanks to a 100 destiel fanfics. We all know what's gone on in there. >.>

Throughout the episode, Jack seeks out guidance first with Bobby, which goes badly, then with Sam, which is interrupted, and finally with Cas, which is when he finally gets told what he needs to hear. I am really happy that whilst Jack has so many father figures now, it is Cas who truly holds that torch and is able at least somewhat give Jack what he needs near the episodes end. If only he had damn well given his son a hug!

I loved the conversation so much that I transcripted it here:

JACK: I’m fine.

CAS: You did well

JACK: All I did was get punched. In the face

CAS: To be fair we all got punched in the face

JACK: That’s not - Before when I had my powers I could have done something

CAS: Jack you don’t have your powers, and your grace should regenerate in time, but until then..

JACK: I’m useless. I cant kill demons I cant find Dean and Michael is in our world and I cant stop him.

I can’t do anything. I don’t have anything.

CAS: Oh Jack. That’s just not true. You’ve got me. You have all of us. You have your family.

And we are going to find dean and we are going to beat Michael and we are going to do it together. Because that’s what we do.

This whole conversation was PERFECT. Every line chosen so specifically and weighted with meaning. Urgh Dabb I fucking love you for this.

Jack starts with “I’m fine” which Cas knows by now means you are not fine but he has also learned to recognise that sometimes it doesn’t mean “leave me alone” as Jack was crying out for guidance and support here. 

The mirrored “got punched in the face” calls to attention the fact that Jack is a reflection of Cas himself here and everything he has felt both now and in the past.

Jack’s complaint about being useless without his powers is a fear Cas has carried with him since his fall in season 9. It’s something that still weighs on him and whilst Cas now knows his place by the Winchester’s side, knows that they are a family and that he is not just a hammer, I think that fear of losing his power and being cast out is still well and truly weighing him down. It will be cathartic for Cas to see the family accept Jack as one of their own even if he is “useless” and human. 

Cas’s “That’s just not true” when Jack says he is useless - his voice breaks and you KNOW Cas has had those exact same thoughts.

“you’ve got me, you’ve got all of us. You have your family” compared to You’re my family, I love you, I love all of you” compared to “We're family. We need you. I need you.” The difference is there is no ambiguity in the word ME. Dabb turned it around, but had Cas clear it up. It’s the same line every time. The only difference is the placement of each individual statement. If this isn’t yet another clear example that the “I love you” was specifically directed at Dean I don’t know what is. THIS IS A CONTINUING PATTERN PEOPLE.

The determined promise to save Dean at the end, right after he specifies the singular and plural because obviously Dean was on Cas’s mind at that point - Mister I Don’t Get Words Wrong over here knows exactly what he means.

I love this whole conversation, but as I said above, it drums home the fact that whilst the Winchesters and others may be sources of guidance and support for Jack, he only has one true father, and I think Dabb wanted to make that clear in this episode. Remember:

Fingers crossed for more father/son bonding between these two in future episodes.

Mary and Bobby

(x)

Baring in mind I was expecting 1 small Destiel moment in the episode in the form of a line from a demon. You have NO IDEA how happy this moment between Mary and Bobby made me. If anyone saw that inktober pic I drew for premier day of me and Tink gasping in shock at the screen, it was for THIS moment. My face lit up in delight.

I said at the start of this long review that Dabb picked his moments well. With every second counting from a meta perspective. This was one of those.

Tell me, anyone, when watching that moment, would you deny that there was something between Bobby and Mary? As homework I'd like you all to play this scene to your heteronormative friends and family, or even be brave and ask a bibro. Would ANYONE deny that it was intended to be romantic?! I highly doubt it.

And yet there was nothing textually explicitly romantic about it. There was NOTHING in this scene that hasn’t been filmed a thousand times between Dean and Cas. The fact that Dabb chose to write this extremely small seemingly unimportant moment, in the kitchen, and for Bobby to use THOSE EXACT WORDS. As I have mentioned several times already, Dabb doesn’t fuck around when using well known moments from past canon in order to reinforce the importance of a thing. Dabb LOVES parallels. He wrote Bloodlines after all. He also knows the fandom hive mind and the things we pick up on and latch on to. This was a very smart calculated decision to include this in the episode and I am LIVING that he did it. GIVE ME ALL THE BOBBY x MARY/ DESTIEL PARALLELS. 

...

I actually really liked Mary in this episode. There is so much discourse in fandom about her and whilst I find Sam Smith pretty cold and wooden, I have never understood the utter hatred of Mary as a character. Hence why I praise Dabb’s genius at this moment:

(x)

Because this line literally sums up her entire arc since her return. Tink and I paused the episode and basically flailed at each other because this is EXACTLY what Mary has been trying to do. She was in HEAVEN, with her BABIES and suddenly she is back on earth with two grown men who are strangers to her, telling her they are hunters and have suffered a life of HORRORS without her. So she ran. Hell, I would have ran too. She shoved herself into hunting because all she could think about was trying to make things GOOD for her boys. Trying to FIX her mistakes the only way she knew how: by HUNTING. She was drowning in the bad. So she found focus in trying to make things good. Like in this episode, she reassures Sam so much that he snaps at her. He doesn’t want to be reassured, and that’s fine. But my god this felt like the first time Mary has truly had a voice. I really weren’t kidding when I said that Dabb made sure every word counted.

OTHER THINGS

I am unsure how I feel about the title card:

Tink called it. I think it looks a bit odd, a bit too clean. I like the title cards to be grim and dark. Black angel wings though! And hey, at least the fiery halos in the title cards are perfectly spherical... so we know they CAN do it right...

*side eyes SFX team*

Kip as a wannabe Crowley was kinda fun for a one off episode but I am glad that they are stressing now that wannabe Crowley’s get killed. The last one we had was Bart in 13x08 who was very much the same flirtatious queer coded demon. I’m fed up with the villainous queer coding by now. It’s been done too often. Give me another Demon like Alastair or Ramiel or none at all.

“Asmodeus Kentucky Fried” DID ANYONE LIKE ASMODEUS OTHER THAN BUCKLEMMING? This made me LOL.

The fight scene at the end was really weird and overly long. I dunno why they decided on so many random slow mo and wooosh shots. the whole Mary slow mo throwing the blade at Sam was cringy. I wish they’d stop being experimental and stick with what they know! You think they’d learn after 13x23!

Maggie was a bit annoying. Why bring her along if she can’t fight? Also the random cuts to her reaction after Jack was angsty had me reeling. simply because in het couples that’s a brewing romance and that is a massive NOPE from me. I like her as an individual character, I DO NOT like her as a love interest to a 1 year old, and I certainly wouldn’t like some pining story for her where she falls for an unavailable guy. It’s not fair on her character. The one thing I did like was the “pointy end” comment. It reminded me of Charlie for some reason.

The throw away line about Ketch being in London looking for the golden egg Lucifer/president extractor. Nice closing of a plot hole there Dabb.

I liked the Jesus weapon expert hunter dude. He seemed quirky. Dead man’s blood bullets are an excellent idea. 

DETROIT. Why does everything always happen in Detroit? I swear one day they are gonna reveal that Detroit is like a central universal power hub where the walls between the dimensions are thinnest or something. I could go on about this but I am sure a better meta writer elsewhere already has and this is waaay too long so I’m leaving this here.

If you got this far. Kudos and thank you for sticking around to read my thoughts. Feel free to ask me anything about any of the above. If I could hand out cookies through the internet I totally would right now.

Basically I enjoyed the episode. I have since re-watched it a dozen times and it is really the meta of it all that makes me love it. The story IS weak, and there ARE moments that are a bit odd, or infuriating depending on the way you look at it, but the heart of the episode was classic Dabb. All character driven and full of meaning. I am extremely well fed after this meta feast, perhaps even enough to get me through the horror show that will be Bucklemming’s 14x02. 

So long as Cas continues to look like a sexy beast I’m sure I’ll get through it.

I’ll just leave this here:

God he’s such a dom. :P

#supernatural #spn meta #castiel #destiel #michael!dean #sam winchester #dean winchester #mary winchester #jack the nephilim #nougat winchester #episode review #14x01 #spn spoilers #season 14 #stranger in a strange land #andrew dabb #god bless andrew dabb #my review #my meta #my thoughts #mirrors and parallels #destiel dreaming #season themes #season what do we want 14

[thunderheadfred]

Why I Love Spike But Also Hate Him A Lot: an unsolicited essay by me

OR: Why I personally relate to blood-sucking poseurs OR: dude what if I ever got high enough to rewrite season six?

(under a cut because this goes on for a while. also discourse frightens me)

Okay. I’m like twenty years late. But I’ve been rewatching BtVS s5 during my latest depression spiral and wandering against my better judgement into the Spuffy fic verse. Disclaimer that my grasp of the series’ larger canon is meh at best, and frankly I don’t care.

As usual, I have too many thoughts.

Spike is, hands-down, my favorite character on this show. Maybe one of my favorite characters, period. He’s just... good to watch. But listen. Secret poet or no, he was never an inherently good person. Meek and shy does not equal Buffy’s equal. I squirm at this apparently massively popular canon interpretation of his human character as some kind of adorable perfect cherub, as if William the Dipshit Poet is somehow preferable to Spike the Complicated Murderer or like, we should just automatically assume that cute shy white people who lived in 1880 London are default Lawful Good when in fact... ahahaa haaaa YIKES COLONIALISM?

I actually think the reason Spike is “more human” than other vampires (in the weird, contradictory Buffy soul-canon) is exactly because William was not Pure, he was a Pratt. Sweet? I guess. Loves his mum? He’s got that going for him. But that guy?? Is not Buffy’s long-lost true love, not a weepy ghost to be shoved into Spike’s Billy Idol cosplay bod at the last minute. In a show that, at its best, tries to give us a protagonist who fundamentally believes we must always make the choice to keep living mindfully, accountably, and with purpose... we get a love interest who is... Spike. A guy who, until the very end of his arc, acts as though he has zero fucking free will. Even though, through a combo of deliciously fun and inconsistent writing, Spike is apparently the only vampire in the Buffyverse who does.

I’ll get to that but first, let’s accept for a minute that Free Will + Buffy = good, and people who roll over and say “I had no choice” + Buffy = Mr. Pointy. This counts for her friends too, (*coughWILLOWcough*) and it’s one of the reasons I love the show despite its many textual problems. As a character piece, it’s great. People fail to take accountability for their behavior all the time. It’s an extraordinarily human flaw, one that rarely equals automatically evil, and I love that it can bite characters on the side of good, too. But that’s not the point of this, oh shit!

Okay. William, cute glasses aside, has no free will. He didn’t even sign up for the vampire thing, he just wanted to get felt up by a pretty girl who saw him cry and didn’t laugh at him. At every point, he was an immature, weak-willed, naive dreamer type who wanted nothing more than to be validated by his shitty friends. The vampirism made him a killer, yeah. But it also inadvertently gave a cowardly nobody a lot of good qualities. Now he’s a weirdly observant, relentlessly optimistic, fun-loving, sexually secure Cool Guy who gave up poetry for punk... but still tries too hard to impress his shitty friends. Basically, being a vampire made this guy a happier-but-still-undeniably-crappy version of himself, especially... considering all the murder. 

But now, let us transparently and metaphorically link cartoonish Vamp!Murder to addiction. Because wow, death in BtVS is either a manipulative authorial gut-punch or a dumb joke, and either way, it’s almost impossible to take seriously in this show, so let’s not.

How to make a remorseless bloodsucking fiend out of of “boo hoo I’m a bad writer and I wish some jerks thought I was cool?” Ha ha you can’t!  Turns out you basically recreate my early twenties but with more murder. Spike is a socially-dependent ADHD art school reject on a century-long avoidance bender. He’s a codependent, moon-eyed boyfriend who learns how to aggressively project not caring while caring Far Too Much, all while clinging to aesthetic as an identity. ALTHOUGH let us not deny that he 100% enjoyed all the killing - wtf so much killing - because for vampires, killing equals pleasure, and charming, “happy” addicts always justify the comforts of their vices. He talks the talk cuz fitting in is his whole deal, but he’s not actually in it for chaos and destruction or any high-falutin’ evil reason, or even really for eating delicious ladies but because, in the end, it feels good and the only girlfriend he’s ever had thinks eating people is cool. Even his whole (gorgeous, splendid to watch) episode-long speech about killing two slayers was written more for Buffy’s character arc than his; we don’t really know why he killed the slayers other than like, “Because they had a death wish I guess. Side note: it was fun.”

There wasn’t much legitimately vengeful or hateful stuff in sad little William for demon!Spike to work with, and apparently William’s soul-or-whatever moved about twelve inches over his left shoulder and stayed there, occasionally poking him for the next hundred years. So it should shock no one that he immediately switches sides when a) his girlfriend dumps him, b) his addiction suddenly hurts, and c) it’s time to impress a new friend group.

I get that Spike’s whole soul-getting between s6 and s7 has been interpreted in fanon as a grand romantic sacrifice (ehhhhhhhhhhhh) and I get why that’s tempting, but the show itself bungled that up way bad and I just can’t get behind it. R*pe idiocy aside, making it ultimately all about Buffy just kinda cheapens what could have been a really fucking powerful redemption arc, one that would have led to a far more satisfying love story. Especially from Buffy’s perspective. 

Okay listen.

We have a guy who has been playing the “duh, Vampire!” card for a century, pleasure-seeking and self-centered, pandering to various peer groups, murderous or otherwise, a happy addict, impervious to change. So when finally, after a HUNDRED SODDING YEARS of being a soulless, hilarious dick, Spike has consequences shoved into his gray matter by the government, he doesn’t change. At all. He just starts obsessing over another woman, doing what he thinks she wants. A woman he thinks will give him new pleasures, a new, perpetually fine status quo. But this woman is Buffy, whose identity is rock solid even though her life is constantly full of challenge and change and choices. She “rewards” Spike only when he makes willful, selfless decisions. And the rewards aren’t romantic, either. Not early on. Even in canon, she keeps rejecting him over and over again, for crystal clear reasons. Thank god. Because when he accepts that she’ll never have him, but still does the hard stuff anyway, he’s unwittingly starting to change. It’s not just Buffy. Buffy demands real personhood. Independence. Identity. Choice. 

Uh oh. She’s gotten to him, then. Though it starts out selfish, he still makes a CHOICE. Quite literally, he takes on the pain of self-improvement - first by embracing the consequences of his chip, later by going on his fancy sparkly soul quest. Buffy is the catalyst, no doubt, because once a poet always a poet and girls are pretty, but Spike’s path to improvement (if not redemption) was already there, laid out nice and neat. His narrative low point, the lightbulb moment that makes him want a soul again, should never have come out of a season of terrible backsliding, culminating in the shower scene we all regret.

It should have been The Gift. 

Death isn’t Buffy’s gift. It’s love. And not that simpering, easy kind of love that just says, “there there,” but the hard, truthful love that makes you want to keep getting that goddamn rock from the bottom of the hill. Yes, Spike’s arc should still be about Buffy, it’s Buffy’s show, but it should have been more about the hole she left behind. Not just in Spike but in the world. 

What’s left? This latest and greatest group of people who have so far RIGHTLY rejected a demon whose sole motivator seems to be comfort. And maybe when these particular people hit rock bottom, they have enough wisdom to see a monster down in the dark and recognize themselves. Maybe Dawn (whose humanizing effect on Spike has been nearly as important as his obsession with Buffy) shows him that rare, rare thing called Validation. And oh god, he realizes he’s never actually moved beyond trying to sell effulgence to Cecily Whatsherface, that he’s been sitting on his own grave for a hundred years, waiting for someone to coddle and fix him, and now the only woman who might have, the best woman, literally the one girl chosen one above all others... is gone. This would be a good time to die. 

Or...

...maybe there is no magic soul cave, maybe he tries to end it and makes the CHOICE not to. Chooses to stay and help, because what else is there? Then BAM! it just slams back into him in a way that hurts like you can’t even believe, because admitting how bad you’ve fucked up is the most painful moment of a lifetime and I’ve lived it and I wish I’d had a hellmouth to jump into, but the Scoobies pull him back, and he takes care of Dawn until life seems to have some meaning again, then Buffy comes out of the earth traumatized and broken and no one is better equipped to help her than a recovering Spike, not because he’s magically her rock but because he’s also learning how to roll his own rock and keep on climbing, because Camus ruined us all for metaphors...

THE END

Anyway. As a recovering addict and toxic person who has been struggling a lot recently... who wants to improve and be able to give more to the people I love, Spike has an arc that just like... cuts me deep, man. Especially because of what should have been.

#I'm also afraid to tag this as anything #haha aaa aa #uh

[vivace-joyous]

The Umbrella Academy 1x01-03

okay, so I have been watching this new show cause y’all know I love me some group based narratives. And the premise feels very fun with lots of ways they can play around with it. It’s like Sense8 if Sense8 focused more on worldbuilding and constructing an overarching narrative to connect all the characters too. However, I find these two shows to be inverses of each other even though their premises are similar thematically. UA and S8 (how I will abbreviate them) seem to excel and stumble in a complementary fashion. Before I get too deep in what I mean, I should talk more about just the UA itself and my general impressions over the first 3 episodes.

OVERALL, it’s enjoyable. I feel like the world building and the over arching plot are the two main elements propelling me through the series. Which like... GOOD! That’s what is supposed to happen when watching a show. If you don’t like the story, watching the show feels like a task. But I am genuinely intrigued by the mystery of the show and what will happen next. Five: “The world will end in 8 days.” Vanya “I’ll put some coffee on then.” Solid way to end a pilot and leave me wanting more. Not just for the next episode, but that is a great way to kick off the first season. BOOM! The Hargreaves have to band together and stop the world end of the world. I just appreciate this because it gives a solid foundation for all other storylines to center around. It is something your brain can stay conscious of throughout each episode and I feel that is such a strong element and important element for a tv show to posses to be good. 

Continuing with the writing, I think so far the pace is decent and the writing is competent from episode to episode. The less important, character-driven storylines are given weight but never take too much focus from the main plot. The dialogue is passable. It doesn’t have a very distinct personality to itself though. If the character is not eccentric themselves, then they probably won’t ever say anything interesting. Which ugh ehh. I just wish the dialogue called more intention to itself because that way the writers could infuse more character moments in fun little quibs. However, it does its job so I can’t complain. 

But I will complain about the use of flashback in the show. The flashbacks feel more used to quickly establish something that is happening in the present day storyline than really be anything more than that. Which is.. like technically okay and the POINT of a flashback. But it is so cliche and I believe there are other, more unique ways to deliver information than just cutting to a flashback. Granted, I do love seeing then team as young teens fighting crime. That’s super cool and I wish the show showed more of that. Cause MY GOD does this show need some more ACTION scenes in it. 

I feel like my biggest problem in the first 3 episodes is that the action feels second to the drama and that totally needs to be reversed. I’m so sorry, but outside of whatever Five is doing, all the other individual character storylines are so fucking boring. I don’t care what any of them do when it doesn’t relate to the main plot. I think that’s why I like Diego’s character cause his whole thing is ABOUT the main plot. I mean, I feel like the show will deliver in terms of action. It’s clear that more insane elements will get thrown in and the filmmakers do like the demonstrate the special powers in fun ways. So I am excited to see what action scenes will come up. I just think overall the show needs more cause the melodrama kinda sorta makes the episodes drag. Like, why is Diego constantly in his fight clothes but he has only been in 2 fight scenes? And Five has like what 3 or 4 in just the first 3 episodes? 

And MY GOD DO I HATE HOW THIS SHOW IS SHOT!!!!!!!!!!!! UGH the cinematography is fucking crap. I hate how it is lit. I hate how the director decided to compose the shots. I hate how there appears to be this like.... haze fliter???? on everything??? Like every scene looks cloudy. It’s like supersaturated. I don’t like it cause 1) I feel it does not help the tone of the show. I feel like we shouldn’t take everything so seriously and have more fun with the premise. But this smoky haze filter makes everything more somber and I think it bumps with most of what actually happens on the show. And 2) it genuinely makes it harder to make out expressions in the actor’s faces. Ugh fire the DP. They are doing a terrible job. 

Let’s talk about the individual characters:

1) Luther. Hate him. Boring white man. Why is he “the leader of the family” after the dad has passed? Like he has not a single interesting aspect about himself. I am honestly so bored every time he talks. And it doesn’t help with the fact that the actor’s head is way too small for the illusion they are trying to create for the character. It’s like “Yeah, let’s put a stale ass, tiny ass white man head on this GIANT 7 foot muscle clad body. He just looks bizarre cause his face says “5′11″ and toned” but his body is that of a bodybuilder. I just wish they found an actor who is just massive like that already for the show. The ridiculous costume they have him in honestly takes me out of it for a bit. And it doesn’t help that they actor isn’t really trying to do anything with the character. Luther says lines. Luther is strong. That’s about it. I will say that despite him being “Number 1″ and “the leader of the family” the show hasn’t given him that much screen time and we still don’t know much about him at all. Which I really appreciate cause it is giving a lot of other (more interesting) characters necessary focus and thus makes getting through Luther scenes that much easier. I don’t know need to learn more about it. Just have him be strong in a corner. 

2) Diego. MY FUTURE HUSBAND!!!!!! HE IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!! I WILL SUCK THE SOUL OUT OF HIS DICK AND ASS HE IS SO FINE OMG yeah badass martial artist who throws knives and has a bit of an anger management problem. I am SMITTEN! I mean eww why the fuck does he have to be straight and keep hitting on that one detective. Honestly, ugh I hate that he is straight. It’s boring and unoriginal. It would have been neat for him to be asexual. He is good looking so people assume that he would be a lady killer. But he is WAY too obsessed with fighitng crime that he literally doesn’t pay attention to his own sexuality. But WAHTEVER! The queer character has to be the eccentric one with the drug problem alkfhadlskfadslkfbdskh ANYWAYS I like hos Diego adds a healthy amount of doubt amongst the group. In terms of constructing group dynamics, he is a lancer AKA the one always playing devil’s advocate. I think he adds a valuable perspective to the team and it will be interesting to see how the family will solve problems with integration of Diego’s help. I don’t like how the show handle showing the relationship between Diego and Mom/ Grace. But I will dive more into that when I talk about the flashbacks.

3) Allison. My god is she boring. But like, in the perspective in how she is an actress, yet doesn’t act like an actress. I mean, yes some actors can act like “normal people” but like... most actors don’t. I say this as someone who lives in LA and knows actors. They have BIG PERSONALITIES. They like to be KNOWN! However, Allison just feels way too subdued and “normal”. Like, okay she must have pursued an acting career of her own violation. So she must be a person who loves attention and strives for their chance to be in the spotlight. Everything needs to revolve around them. But that’s not Allison. She isn’t really anything. She is concerned about her daughter... if feel like that’s the only real thing we have learned about her so far. I wish her narrative had an angle about her being attention seeking. During the scene when all the siblings were reading Vanya’s autobigraphy, the voiceover cut to Allison when the VO mentioned attention seeking. Which, if that is an aspect of Allison’s character, then SHOW it to us. Have her do SOMETHING besides give creepy incest bedroom eyes to Luther. 

4) Klaus. Finally, an interesting character! His powers are unique yet have a direct influence on how his personality is shaped. His is a drug addict because dead people are constantly trying to talk to him. Kinda sorta metaphor for the mentally unwell and how they abuse drugs because “It makes the voices go away”. They just have a lot of things they can do with him and the writers know this. They obviously have some extra fun when writing him. I just wish the other characters were a lot more sympathetic towards him. Like.... maybe try and talk to him about his drug problem? Rather than patronize it literally every single time you talk to him. SERIOUSLY every single scene Klaus is in with one of his siblings, they always HAVE to mention his drug problem AND THEN scold him for it. Like............ that’s not very constructive? Like at all! But I guess that’s just how some families are to one another. Also, it is very interesting to see how they are handling Robert Sheehan’s performance in UA compared to Misfits. In Misfits, he has a tendency to devour each scene he was in, to the point where he felt like the central character of that show. But Nathan was such a great character, that often times you didn’t mind how he would steamroll over others because it was done in such an entertaining way. But in the UA, the director’s have chosen to use Robert Sheehan’s signature eccentric style to flavour the scenes, rather than change the tone of the scene altogether (unlike how they used Nathan in Misfits). Anyways, I am most intrigued to see what they will do with his character. 

5) Five. I don’t have too much to say about him because I feel like there is a lot more to be discovered about this character. Overall, I like the concept around the character and tbh he gets some of the best scenes in the first 3 episodes. I am truly impressed with the actor portraying this character. I think he is doing quite a great job in giving us the nuances of the character. A 58-year-old trapped in the body of a 13-year-old. Like, I get that. I see that. It works and I am here for it. 

6) Ben. WOW so the one Asian one is dead and barely gets any lines. Ugh okay. Really REALLY want to learn more about him. Really intrigued with how he died to begin with. Hopefully the show shares this story element in an interesting way that connects to the main plot in a way other than just thematically. 

7) Vanya. I.... I wanna hold my tongue about her. Cause she is obviously the audience perspective character for this world. So there isn’t much to say about her besides her being a tool to help the audience get integrated into the show’s world. I just... I gotta wait cause I feel like they are going to do something cool with her character and I don’t wanna make any.... undeserved assumptions. I just want more from her which like... I guess is a good thing? 

#the umbrella academy #Imma try and do reviews for this show #but it probably won't be episode by episode like I did with Sense8 #netflix #review #tv show

[sultrysirens]

Please just go off and rant about your OCs! I just love them all so much (even the ones that haven’t been introduced yet) and want to hear more about them!

I hope you’re prepared for what you’ve just unleashed~!!

JOCELYN was the start of this avalanche. When I first conjured her up, I had just a few points in mind: I wanted her to be colored (though I hadn’t decided yet what her ethnicity would actually be), I wanted her to be a ballerina, and I wanted her to not be drop-dead fucking gorgeous.

One of these things did not hold up. X’D

My original intent was to just make a short story -- 10 chapters or so -- in which she gets with Raphael and they bang. That was the literal long and short of it, which you can kind of see considering how rushed the first few chapters were.

I didn’t mean for them to get so into each other and fall in love. They did that entirely on their own. And, to be honest, it’s been an amazing experience; I’ve learned a great deal and feel like my creativity has gone through the roof.

Considering I’ve always been crazily creative anyway, that’s saying something.

Initially I picked Raph for this story because I thought (in my ignorance) that he would have the least amount of love and sex-related stories. Oh, how foolish I was, lol. But I was also thinking he would be the easiest to write just falling into bed with someone, and while that is something I commonly see, in my story he very much did not do that.

It was really weird. X’D

While I was writing The Dancer, I was also writing a then-untitled sister fic/epilogue (which I later titled The Dragon). It was quite a few years down the line, so I went ahead and conjured up some future scenes and events. Among them: Lisa.

This fic started in Mikey’s POV for a few reasons, one of them being that I really wanted to write something from his perspective. Lisa was introduced to my story this way, and I quickly took a liking to her and started development on her character. One of the things I did first was write pieces of the first chapter of The DJ, just to get the start’s setting down.

Then all I had to do was get The Dancer to a point where I could connect the two. At the time I was only around chapter 20, so...yeah, it took a while. XD

With Jocelyn, one of the key decisions I made was to make her very unlike Raphael -- she’s flirty, often relaxed, has an incredible love for ballet, has almost no family (just a mother; no dad, no siblings), and has such a crazy obsession over shoes that she literally picks out what shoes she wants to wear before picking her clothing for the day.

With Lisa, I went in the opposite direction: be just like Mikey. She has low intelligence and knows it, yet is brilliant in an unconventional way; her sense of humor is one of her biggest traits and she laughs to defuse situations and deal with problems; her genre is 100% hip hop in nearly all ways; and I made her athletic pretty much entirely so she’d be able to keep up with the master of movement, Mikey. (Say that five times, fast.)

It wasn’t until after I really got into writing Lisa that I noticed something interesting about my two fics: the couples both view each other in the same light.

Jocelyn and Raphael think one another is sexy and bad-ass.

Lisa and Mikey think one another is cool and cute.

This is, of course, not the rule -- Raph has thought Jo is super cute before, and Mikey finds Lisa sexy as hell, too -- but it is their primary mindsets. And it makes me wonder if my remaining two couples will have the same kind of viewpoints. I can’t say for sure yet because I haven’t gotten to the part in either story where they’re actually dating, but it’s fun to consider.

Then again, maybe for Leo and Donnie’s relationships they’ll have opposite viewpoints as their lovers do. It would definitely be an interesting twist.

Progress with The Dragon is going very slowly, which is understandable given I still have a lot of world-building in The DJ to do first, but I do very much love the story. In fact, so far if I were to rank my fics based on my own favorites, it would go Dancer > Dragon > DJ (I have literally nothing written on the final fic yet cause I still haven’t even finished designing the final girl, lol).

As much as I love Lisa (and I freaking do holy shit), I just don’t quite love her the best. This is actually kind of weird considering just how close to being a self-insert she is -- an unintentional self-insert, yes, but the parallels are definitely there.

For example, Lisa is a white girl of mixed white heritage (like me) with a particular pair of beauty marks on her face (same as me, just in different places), she has brunette hair (like me) and blue eyes (mine are actually green, but my parents’ and brother’s eyes are blue and I’ve always been jealous of that), she’s a huge gamer (just like me; she’s just better at competitive games), she dislikes swearing (I swear a lot now, but at her age I was much more sensitive about it), she has an older brother (I technically have two, but one’s very distant and the other was always close), she has a distaste for meat (I’m not vegetarian but as a whole I dislike meat) and some serious compassion for life (same), she loves piercings (I’d have more but I’m seriously forgetful), and she has incredible ears for music (can name almost any song within seconds -- just like me).

Oh yeah, and she’s a Mikey girl. ♥

And more pointedly, I named her mother after my sister (deceased) and her grandparents after my paternal grandfather and maternal grandmother.

I named Jocelyn based on the character of the same name from A Knight’s Tale (it just occurred to me that they have the same tits lmfao); after seeing the movie I kind of became enraptured with this character and her smart tongue and haughty attitude and incredible elegance -- not to mention I freaking loved her name.

Lisa, by comparison, I named based on one thing: the Mona Lisa. Yeah, that’s right, y’all -- I named her after a famous painting by an Italian Renaissance painter. Hurr hurr. XP But though I never mentioned this, Lisa’s mother, Brandy, cites that she named her ‘Lisa’ based on The Simpsons, as Lisa was Brandy’s favorite character.

This cute, incredibly good-hearted and brilliant young girl? Yeah, Brandy loves that character and was hoping Lisa would take after her.

Hmmm, what else...

Well, I had a completely different story set up for Cecilia at first. I’m honestly really glad things didn’t go the way I’d planned, and here’s why: Cecilia was supposed to catch a glimpse of Jo and Raph having sex one day (before meeting him) and go kind of nutso.

You see, at first she claimed diabetes but was not diabetic -- she was doing cocaine, and saying she had diabetes was her explanation for when Jo would catch her shooting up. And with the cocaine in her system, Cecilia’s mind went right to demons and witchcraft.

Terrified for her daughter’s immortal soul, the original plan was for Cecilia to attempt to burn them both to death. To everyone’s surprise, however, Jocelyn didn’t burn -- only Cecilia.

This was the original way Jo discovered she’d been taking on Raph’s mutagen. It’d made her fireproof.

As you can see, I’m super glad I didn’t stick to that, lol.

As for Lisa, me making her a cutter was a spur-of-the-moment decision during that scene where she examines her reflection in her undies. The boob thing, though? That was planned from day one -- because I wanted her to very much be Jo’s opposite, and this included general color palette, skills, likes, personality, and body type.

Jo: tall and willowy, grace incarnate, dark skin and blonde hair, super thick lips, generally thin but with a killer ass, rounded face, freckled, minimal piercings, crazy flirty and confident to no end.

Lisa: barely taller than average, kind of stocky and curvy, shapely lips, wide hips and heavy tits, shapely lips and face, zero freckles, tons of piercings, jittery and mousy but also immature and raucous.

By comparison, so far Mei and Pinky are just people. (Note: Mei’s faceclaim so far is Lucy Lui, but Pinky doesn’t have one just yet.) Mei’s also skinny, but that’s cause she’s 100% Chinese and as far as I can tell that’s just how they are. I’ve done a lot of googling and pretty much all young people I’ve found that way are, in a word, skinny. X’D

I’m leaning towards Pinky being the shortest of the girls, maybe in the 5′1″-5′3″ range, but I’m worried about making her too short. The concept is still very much up in the air, lol. This is also the character I once said I was considering being half Puerto Rican, and while I still like that I’m not sure it’ll stick. It might be more fun to make her like Indian or something.

We’ll see. (I’m very much open to suggestion about her, btw, if anyone has any thoughts...and I know it’s not much to go on yet but there’s a reason for that.)

And then there’s Cassie. My redheaded best friend of my best girl, Jo. I really don’t have much to say about her; I introduced her almost entirely to expand the world a bit and give Jocelyn more ties -- a girl like her would damn well have ties, y’know.

I don’t know what it is, but I have a really hard time writing her. She feels very bland, and while that was kind of the intent, it makes it really hard to get a feel for her. Only a few things remain strong when it comes to her: she’s kinda weirded out by the turtles, she supports Jocelyn completely, and she’s just as much of a ballet-enthusiast.

These girls have been friends for almost their literal entire lives. And I think part of the reason why I wrote them like this was out of jealousy -- I’ve never had that kind of a friendship. The oldest friend I can recall was Jenny, when I was five, and she was a BITCH.

I only have two memories of her anymore: 1, she used to invent games for us to play then change the rules on a dime so she’d always be the winner, and 2, I once tried to leave her home and she slammed the door on my fingers.

I sincerely hope she grew out of that, man.

Suffice to say we were not friends for very long. And since then I’ve seen a constant pattern: I can’t keep friends for longer than a few years, and not because I don’t want to.

Because something always happens. They move, I move, someone’s interests shift, we lose contact, a misunderstanding occurs, etc.

I wanted Jocelyn to have something better than a constantly-shifting sea of semi-friends. I wanted her to have best friends, and then THE best friend -- the one who will remain her best friend for the entirety of her life. The one who was there through all the biggest troubles and best celebrations, the one who will be there for all of the troubles and celebrations to come, and the one who knows her better than anyone else ever has (at least until a certain mutant comes into her life).

Lisa, on the other hand, is...me.

Her friendships flagged, drifted, dissolved, changed, and so on. The only constants in her life have been her family. And even then a good portion of her family has never been there, a fact that hurts her whenever she pauses to think about it.

She hurts, she yearns, and there are times she feels completely alone, even in a full room. She’s constantly scared no one understands her or cares about her, and she gets through this by laughing -- at others, at herself, at that one missing piece of the jigsaw puzzle that makes it kind of look like a penis, and so on.

Lisa has always had the support of her family while needing true understanding and affection. Jo has always had affection and the understanding of her closest friend while needing support.

It’s amazing to think about. And while there’s a lot here that I never put into my fics, these are threads and pieces of my characters that have either always been there in the background or have developed as I wrote them. Maybe I never said Lisa was terrified of being alone, but it was in my mind every time I wrote her.

And I just want to take this moment to thank Anon for giving me this opportunity; I’ve always wanted to rant about my girls but never thought anyone would care, so what was the point, y’know?

Thank you, babe. ;)

#sfw #the dancer #the dj #the dragon #characters #oc #original #lisa #jocelyn #mei #pinky #long #super long #long long long post #rant #character development #Anonymous #siren nightshade #ask

[theusurpersdog]

@repeat-script replied to your post:

“the closest character comparison I’d make within ASoIaF is pre losing his hand Jaime. Like him, she doesn’t intend to hurt people” I’m wondering how you can justify that when ep 1 ended with Jaime deliberately pushing a child out a window?  I’m not even a Dany stan but that comparison is way off the mark.

Time for a deep dive into Jaime’s psychology!

The first thing to remember is that Jaime isn’t of the same generation that Dany, Jon, Sansa, Arya, Bran, etc., are from. All of the kids’ stories start when the books do, but the generation prior (Jaime, Ned, Catelyn, Cersei, etc.) started their story during Robert’s Rebellion. By the time Jaime is introduced in AGoT, the most defining moment of his life has already happened. Unlike Dany, who is still only around 16, he was in his 30′s when he pushed Bran out of the tower. Imagine how much more innocent he was 16 years before that, before he was forced to kill Aerys.

But back to him not intending for people to get hurt. Jaime’s defining characteristic until ASoS, is his carelessness; Tyrion and Cersei always think of him as reckless, a person constantly acting first and thinking second: “There was very little that Jaime took seriously. Tyrion knew that about his brother”. (Joining the Kingsguard is a great example of this; while he partly understood the sacrifice he was making, he really didn’t think it through at all). This is probably a product of being a Lannister, a male, and an amazing swordsman; he is the personification of privilege. His life is essentially consequence free; he even got away with killing the King. (While his reputation greatly suffers, and this has a tremendous effect on his pysche, consider how a lowborn or a woman would have been treated if they were the Kingslayer). To Jaime, his actions are divorced from consequence. (There’s a lot more to be written about how killing Aerys caused Jaime’s disaffection and general haphazardness). That’s why he says insane things like “Let Robert do as he pleases. I'll go to war with him if I must”; he doesn’t believe his relations with Cersei could ever actually lead to war, and doesn’t understand the consequences if they do. Not that this justifies his actions, but he’s not some ruthless killer the way some paint him to be. 

So now we get to pushing Bran out of the tower. It’s not like Jaime went up there thinking “can’t wait to push a 7yo out a window!”. He didn’t consider that anyone would ever see, he just wanted to spend time with Cersei: “All Jaime had wanted was an hour alone with Cersei”. As we see from his POV, he is displeased by the event that occurred with Bran (emphasis on the “All Jaime had wanted”, anything else that happened in the tower was specifically unwanted. He later thinks with regret over what he did to Bran). But Bran did see them in the tower, and Jaime had to make a choice; if he left Bran alive, at least 5 people would die (him, Cersei, Joffrey, Myrcella, and Tommen), and more than likely that Tywin goes to war. Or, he pushes Bran out the window and only one person is hurt; one Stark child for the lives of his three Lannister children. Not the black and white decision that it originally seems; in fact, in AGoT Eddard XIII, Ned’s not even sure what choice he would have made. Obviously I don’t think Jaime should have pushed Bran, but in that situation, with all the stress and urgency of a decision having to be made, I think a lot of people would have pushed Bran. But even in the moment, it’s a decision Jaime hates making (emphasis added):

“The things I do for love," he said with loathing

- AGoT Bran II

Jaime didn’t intend for violence to occur, and never wanted it to. From his perspective (which is mostly accurate), he’s been backed into a corner and to save his life and the lives of his entire family, he only has one choice: to kill Bran. There’s a reason he says “The thing I do for love” with loathing; Jaime is motivated by love, just a very unhealthy one, and he hates that he’ll do anything for Cersei. Pushing Bran is a decision he made because he was trying to save Cersei and his kids.

So is that really all that different from Dany allowing raping and pillaging? Is it all that different from torturing kids in front of their parents? 

In fact, Daznak’s Pit is actually a very similar situation to Jaime’s pushing of Bran. Dany has to choose: save Drogon (her child) or save everyone else’s children? And she makes the exact same choice Jaime did; she saves her child. Instead of letting Hizdahr’s men kill Drogon, she flies away to save him, killing at least one infant and 200+ other bystanders.

#anti daenerys #anti targaryen #jaime lannister #asoiaf meta #jaime lannister meta

[jungflowers]

ocean waves // f o u r (taekook au)

masterlist << || >>

genre: College! AU/ light angst

pairing: taekook/vkook

word count: 2,268

read it on AO3 here!

summary:  Taekook AU in which Taehyung, an aspiring writer and professional cynic, learns from the mysterious stranger outside his cafe window that life is more than letters on a page

A/N: trying to run a fan account off of a side blog is officially the hardest thing I’ve done oof. Thanks for reading and don’t be afraid to leave any advice or comments! My message box is always open

“So I woke up soaking wet and in shock all because of that petty little demon,” Jimin ranted to Taehyung as he swiftly worked around the counter during his morning shift. “Do you know how terrifying it is to feel ice down your back first thing in the morning?”

“No, not really. Hopefully I never will,” Tae responded, amused at the whiny tone the barista’s voice had taken on. Jimin had been the victim of a revenge prank from his roomate, which had put a bit of a damper

Taehyung sat at the table closest to the store counter on a cloudy Thursday morning, enjoying the company of his new friend as he frantically attempted to finish the homework he had procrastinated. Ever since meeting the week before, the two had comfortably slipped into the habit of hanging out every morning at the coffee shop before walking to their Econ class. Taehyung liked Jimin despite the fact that he still barely knew him. He talked a lot, sure, but he never had a dull thing to say and never minded that Taehyung didn't speak as much as he did. In the few short days that they had known each other, Taehyung had learned a lot about the giggly mocha haired barista. He was from Busan, had a younger brother that looked like a carbon copy of him, left home and moved to Seoul when he was 16 to go to a performing arts school, and was now majoring in dance. Despite being a dancer for almost 10 years, he was one of the most clumsy people Taehyung had ever met. He tripped over his own feet on an hourly basis, like he still wasn't used to having legs. "It's because you made me laugh," he would whine, giggling infectiously. "I can't see when I laugh." He told him about his roomate, who he had met his sophomore year through a sketchy app for college students too broke to afford their own house. He played pranks on him regularly just to make sure that he wasn't a serial killer. He may have been the complete opposite of him- an extroverted, energetic manifestation of caffeine itself- but Taehyung had to admit that spending mornings with Jimin felt way better than spending them alone.

“I mean, sure, I hid his towel. And sure, we had guests over. But in my defense, it was in the laundry. I was doing him a favor. It just happened to be at a particularly inconvenient time. But tell me, what do I gain from a bucket of ice water put on my pillow and tied to my arm when he knows damn well I move around in my sleep?”

“The man doesn’t play games,” Tae sipped his tea, putting in a weak effort at editing his latest creative writing assignment.

“Hi, what can I get you?” Jimin’s demeanor took a 180° turn as he attended to the latest customer.

“Hey, can I have a caramel machiatto?” An eerily familiar voice ordered. Taehyung turned his attention toward the counter and immediately, his breath caught. As he turned around, the doe eyed stranger’s face lit up with recognition.

“Hey,” he smiled, walking a few steps closer.

“Camera boy,” Taehyung nodded, an awkward attempt to play it cool.

“How’s it going?”

“It’s going,” he sighed. “You?”

“Same here,” Taehyung smiled nervously in response.

The boy nodded, the short conversation seeming to end on that note until he piped up once more. “I never did get your name, did I?”

“N-no, you didn’t,” he choked out, caught off guard. “It’s Taehyung.”

“Jungkook,” he held out his hand. Taehyung shook it cautiously, trying to ignore the sparks that flew through him the instant his fingers made contact with the no-longer-stranger’s surprisingly soft skin.

“I’ll see you around, I hope?”

All Taehyung could do was smile enthusiastically in agreement, his voice rendered useless.

“Oh, and check the city magazine this week.” He grinned. “You might find something you’ll like.” He watched as the boy left, following the same white shirt and ripped jeans until he was no more than a mere blur in the distance.

“Oh my god,” Jimin’s eyes were wide in unexplained surprise, his mouth pulled into a larger, more blinding grin than usual.

“What? Did something happen?”

“It’s you,” he laughed heartily. “You have a crush, don’t you?”

“On who?” He played dumb, putting on his best, most confused face.

“On who?” Jimin mocked. “Camera boy? You act all standoffish and tough all the time, but you like him enough to give him a nickname.”

“Oh, him?” Taehyung scoffed, continuing the act. “I barely even know him.”

“But you want to, don’t you?” Jimin giggled, thoroughly entertained.”

“I don’t have a crush on him,” He concluded seriously, pushing up his glasses to the bridge of his nose and continuing to work, seemingly unbothered by his friend’s antics. Jimin emitted a final burst of laughter, but dropped the topic, seeming to believe his words.

They spent the next few minutes in silence, both focused on their work. Jimin took orders at lightning speed, and Taehyung managed to finish editing his assignment fairly quickly, mostly motivated by nervous energy.

“What type of camera does he have?” Jimin asked casually.

“Canon Rebel,” Taehyung replied, too quickly for his own good. Jimin’s suspicious stare tormented him until he finally cracked.

“Fine!" he sighed, throwing up his hands in surrender. "I might have the tiniest, microscopic interest in him. Not a crush. Just an interest.”

"An interest, sure." he scoffed as he emerged from behind the counter and wrapped his arms around the boy, smothering him. “My little Taetae is growing up! Look at you, showing your feelings and shit.” 

“I'm still taller than you,” he mumbled through Jimin's sweater. "And I don't have feelings. They're gross."

Jimin bit his lip to hold back a huge smile with a hint of something mischievous in it. That couldn’t mean anything good.

“Stop it. Stop thinking right now.”

“I know how you can pay me back for saving your life last week.”

“Didn’t you say-”

“Let’s pretend I didn’t,” he replied quickly. “Let me help you get together with him.”

“What makes you think I want to initiate a conversation with a virtual stranger?”

“If you keep watching him that hard every time he comes in here, you’re gonna need new glasses,” he playfully nudged his golden frames.

“No. Never. A thousand times no.”

Jimin smiled even bigger, staring deep into Taehyung’s soul.

“No.” He said stronger, refusing to be swindeled into a dangerous arrangement.

Defeated, Jimin pouted all the way back to the counter. Taehyung turned his attention back to his homework, pulling out his calculus binder. As he tapped rapidly at the buttons on his calculator, he heard a loud sigh from a few feet away. Ignoring it, he returned back to his work, scribbling the answers down on his worksheet. Then another loud sigh. Taehyung rolled his eyes, shooting a pointed stare in the barista’s direction. Not even a minute later came another sigh, so loud and mournful that it caught the attention of some of the customers nearby. 

“I’ll think about it, okay?” Taehyung had reached the peak of stress, throwing his pencil down and pleading with the boy. “I’ll think about it.”

Jimin’s face brightened into a satisfied smirk, relieving the other boy. He yelled something to the workers in the back room before untying his apron and hanging it up by one of the shelves and grabbing his backpack.

“Let’s go to class, lover boy.” He teased, pinching Taehyung’s cheeks as he scrambled to keep up with him. He didn’t tell anyone—he barely even admit it to himself, but he spent the rest of that day trying to beat back the sparks that shot through him whenever he remembered that morning.

“What’s your favorite flower?”

“My what?”

“Favorite flower,” Taehyung repeated. “What is it?”

“Why?” Namjoon laughed at the strange question. “Are you going to buy me flowers?”

“Not if you don’t tell me what your favorite flower is.” Taehyung joked. “Come on, hyung. It’s for my stupid writing class. Help a brother out.”

Taehyung had done remarkably better on his last two chemistry tests thanks to Namjoon’s amazing brain. The change was so drastic that he had actually begun to understand the material on his own, meaning that their tutoring sessions had shifted into study dates with an occasional question here or there. Taehyung had insisted on paying the boy for his help, but Namjoon strongly declined the offer, suggesting instead that Taehyung continue to help him in the studio, which he was more than happy to do. Of course, Namjoon’s idea of help was really just watching him bob his head self consciously to the music and listening to his mediocre feedback. “You’re like a lucky charm,” he claimed. “The last time I finished a song while you were there, my teacher complimented me on it in class. It was a fucking miracle.”

Now it was Taehyung’s turn yet again to ask for advice.

“What’s the topic today, Shakespeare?” He leaned forward to peak at Taehyung’s blank screen.

“‘Write a story from the perspective of a flower.’" he read the prompt. "How am I supposed to write a 200 word piece on something that doesn’t even move?”

“Hm,” Namjoon bit lightly on the end of his pencil as he contemplated the idea. “What kind of flower? Like, a garden flower or a vase flower?”

“The flower kind.” Taehyung replied dryly.

Namjoon ignored his sarcasm and finally answered his question.

“I like wildflowers, I guess. Anything you just find growing by it’s own outside, without a garden. Write about those.”

Taehyung nodded, thinking for a minute before acting on the first inkling of an idea that popped into his head, exhausted with trying to overthink every essay he wrote. He typed carelessly and furiously, causing Namjoon to look up from his book every couple minutes in concern. The words flowed quickly and dangerously, now that he refused to censor himself. In 15 minutes he was finished, handing it apprehensively to Namjoon to read.

 “Somewhere in the forest, a wildflower turns its petals to the sun for the first time. For the first time, it dares to uncurl it’s young limbs and bloom. For the first time, it is able to relax. Wildflowers do not have to be told that they are beautiful, like the roses of the garden or the morning glories that peek out from bushes every so often. Wildflowers are born knowing so, without any human to tell them. Wildflowers do not wait to be watered. They do not stand to be coaxed from their buds for the sake of profit. They provide for themselves and they bloom on their own time. But like any good flower, they are plucked from the ground, torn from their roots and thrown in a vase of water. Their once strong, confident petals will learn to wither away, and they will learn to bleed silently, so as not to corrupt their beauty. Like any good flower, they will not last, and the beauty that held their chins up with pride will be their demise.”

 “You came up with this,” he cocked his head from side to side, completely examining the words on the screen in front of him. “In 7 minutes?”

“It’s a rough draft,” he explained.

“I’ve never heard you write like this.”

Namjoon scrolled through the file, skimming it a second time. “It’s usually so... happy.”

“Yeah? Well, it was a lie.” The words that he had sighed came out before he realized what he had said, regaining consciousness only when he felt Namjoon’s concerned glare analyzing him. He didn’t bother asking the question that should have come next, because he already knew the answer that he would receive. Instead, he said,

“You’re coming to Hoseok’s party. End of discussion.”

Taehyung opened his mouth to attempt a response, managing to squeak out a surprised, “Why?”

“Because,” Namjoon began, closing his book and beginning to pack his things into his backpack. “I’m not letting you grow old and bitter alone in your apartment all year. You’re stressed. I can see it. I can hear it in your writing and your voice. Just look-” He pulled out his phone and stuck the camera lens in his face, a click sounding as Taehyung frowned in confusion. He turned the screen toward him, revealing a rather grumpy looking photo of the boy, enhanced with gray eye circles and tossled hair that further proved Namjoon’s point.

“You look like you need a hug. Now get up, we’re going to your house.”

“What- now?”

“The party is at 8. In 3 hours.” He stood up from the table, forcing Taehyung to follow his lead.

“How am I supposed to mentally prepare myself for a party that’s 3 hours away?” He grumbled.

“You’re not.” He replied. “That’s why I’m helping you.”

As Taehyung reluctantly threw his things into his messenger bag, he swallowed bitterly, his throat dry from something akin to dread. “Does this mean I should throw away the story? W-was it that bad?”

“Are you kidding me? It’s the best thing you’ve ever written, which is saying a lot. I’m not worried about your writing. I’m worried about you.” He gave him a softer smile, dimples accenting the corners of his mouth, that put him at ease. “Now come on, we've got work to do.” he said as he dragged Taehyung toward the exit, draping an arm around him all the way.

#bangtanarmynet #thebtstown #bangtan #bts #bts fanfic #taekook fanfic #taekook au #BTS au #vkook au #vkook fanfic #kim taehyung fanfiction #jeon jungkook fanfic #bts college au #bts angst #bts fluff #bts scenarios #kim namjoon #bts rm #kim seokjin #BTS jin #min yoongi #BTS suga #jung hoseok #bts jhope #park jimin #BTS jimin #kim taehyung #BTS v #jeon jungguk #bts vkook