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444tsumu · 3 years

Text

title Not His Type

rating ★ ★ ☆ nsfw content

word count 4,800+

warnings timeskip!mattsun, yes i’m writing that he still practices w the s4, anyways explicit content, matsukawa calls you a bitch, spitting, rough sex, spanking, mattsun fucks you in his car, oral sex (f!reader giving), don't be silly wrap your willy folks

author’s note thanks to @kansroji for forcing me encouraging me to write this self-indulgent mattsun fic, send her her flowers everyone bc this was just muah :*

summary Issei teaches you that the meaning behind the words ‘I hate you’ is a lot different from what you’re used to.

“God, do you ever shut the fuck up?”

“How could someone be such a bitch?”

“I don’t know Mattsun, you tell me.”

There are two things necessary to keep the world spinning on its axis: inertia, and the insatiable hatred between you and Issei Matsukawa.

No one quite knows where it came from. Maybe it was your lack of regard for his permanently disinterested personality, or maybe it was the insufferable habit you had of making a comment every time Matsukawa did as much as make a noise— whatever it was, it was a never ending cycle of pure repugnance.

His tone was light, yet knowing Iwaizumi, you knew it was wavering on a more strict tone you really didn’t want to hear today.

Oikawa watched the interaction between the three of you, eyes narrowing as he did something nobody appreciates from him: he started plotting.

To you and Issei, the nature of your relationship was that there wasn’t one at all. There was nothing but an indescribable hatred that will never go away because you guys just physically can’t stand the other.

To everyone else though? In Hanamaki’s words, “you guys just needed to fuck and get it over with already.” Sexual tension couldn’t fill half of the void the storm you and Mattsun left after every exchanged word. It nearly swallowed the room, the only two not able to see it being yourself and the middle blocker.

With an inquisitive look on his face, Oikawa decided the only way to get rid of this long lasting rivalry being now or never. “My dear Y/L/N, bad news.”

The words brought you back down to Earth, making you bite down a glare at the bored man in front of you and turning towards the setter.

“As much as I’d love to be the one to take you home,” he winks at you, long arm reaching out to lightly press itself against your cheek and you already see where this is going, “I just can’t—”

“Tooru..” Your voice wavered the same way Iwaizumi infamously did.

“Seriously Y/N-Chan, I hate being the bearer of bad news..” The sparkle in his eyes made you clench your jaw to prevent the scream from slipping through your lips. “But I had almost promised Iwa-chan and Makki a ride today.”

You could hear the slick in his voice, and you absolutely hated it. You hated how you knew exactly what was being planned. You knew in Oikawa’s stupid little head, he was formulating a stupid little plan thinking things would work out in his own stupid little way.

“I’m not getting into that fucking asshole’s car—”

“Oikawa I will purposely crash if she as much as steps foot in my car—”

“Get your fucking feet off my dashboard.” You hear his voice growl, long fingers reaching in front of him to press the Start-Stop button on his car and get the engine running.

You didn’t mean to press a sock-covered foot onto it, it’s just that you needed to adjust the anklet resting against your skin. You hadn’t caught when his eyes glanced over at the diamonds either, remaining for a second too long to be appropriate and quickly force it’s way in front of him.

With a slightly exaggerated roll of your eyes, you threw your head against the headrest and stared through the window to your side. You were wishing there was an awkward silence to torture Matsukawa’s ears, but instead, his phone automatically connected to its Bluetooth and began to play a song you surprisingly recognized.

He drove faster than you were sure he was supposed to. As soon as you blinked, he had already backed out of Seijoh’s parking lot and sped through the secluded roads and towards the city you inhabited.

Unwillingly, of course, you managed to steal a few glances at the brown-haired man next to you. His face was (surprise) as uninterested as ever, eyebrows resting dully above his hooded lids and lips turned just slightly down enough to look like a frown. Every now and then, his lips would go along with the song and his tongue would swipe across his bottom lip and into the corner of his cheek.

Matsukawa wasn’t an ugly guy. There wasn’t enough hatred in your soul to even try to lie against the idea. He was extremely tall, extremely fit, had a nice smile, and his voice matched his looks. If he wasn’t such a stuck up, emotionless asshole, he’d probably be one of the hottest guys you’ve ever seen. If and probably, of course.

“Gotta staring problem?” He muttered, head bobbing to the song in the background and that in itself just brought your cholesterol an unhealthy amount higher.

“Shut the fuck up.”

“I see you have a lack of vocabulary too..” The banter between the two of you went back and forth, an awkward silence retching the car’s air after he sadly had the last word.

“I can’t believe there was a time you weren’t such a nuisance.” You nearly mouthed, words quiet enough to get lost within the lyrics of Kanye West, yet loud enough to get into Mattsun’s earshot and cause the car to abruptly park on the side of the nearly secluded road ahead of you.

“Hey, what the fu—”

“What’s your problem with me?” Matsukawa’s words haunted the air, and if you weren’t already awaiting his words, you might have actually been scared of the harshness in his tone.

“Me?” You questioned, using a hand to dramatically smack against your chest and glare at him in disbelief. “What’s your problem with me?”

He didn’t respond, only staring at you blankly and gripping on the steering wheel with enough aggression to taint the knuckles of his large hands white.

“Stop acting like a toddler,” the annoyance looked weird on him, and his usual nonchalant attitude disappeared with a mask of pure frustration that you’d be lying about if you said was ugly on him, “just tell me what the issue is so we can both stop whatever the fuck it is we have going on.”

“We,” you pointed between the two of you, “do not have anything going on, for your information.” You stubbornly crossed your arms across your chest, staring at him blankly and watching his large hand run across his face.

“You wouldn’t even be my type, you know damn well that isn’t what—”

Every word after the first half of the sentence drowned out as you continued to repeat it in your head. You wouldn’t even be my type. You wouldn’t even be my type. You wouldn’t even be my type…

“Earth to Y/N.” Mattsun snapped, glaring over at you and leaning his body back lazily against his driver’s seat. It was slightly reclined back, the comfortability of his position insinuating he didn’t plan on leaving until this conversation got somewhere.

“What do you mean I wouldn’t be your type?”

The words came out faster than you could acknowledge them. You didn’t regret speaking them, but you knew that they only worsened your situation. He would use this as if it was fuel to his never-ending out of fire of an ego and you hated it. The cold air in the car suddenly became more noticeable, goosebumps raising onto your exposed skin and making you feel as if all your senses were being ambushed.

“Well, well, well…” He begins to tease as if he was never angry, his large arms resting behind his head and that stupid smirk back onto his pink lips, “you feel some type of way about what I said?” His voice echoed into your ears as you did nothing but watch him in disbelief.

“You never stood a chance with me anyways.” You bit back at him.

Something in the air changed, but neither of you decided to acknowledge it. It was dark, the light from the dashboard doing nothing but illuminating your features and making Issei smirk to himself in the lack of lighting.

“How so?” He was antagonizing you, itching for you to continue to play his little game back with him because he had a plan. You could see it from the way he lazily blinked over at you, smirk still against his glowing face with nothing but arrogance and faux oblivion.

“You wouldn’t be able to handle me if you tried.”

Those words changed the aura within the car all in itself. You knew the double entendres of a statement could go any way with him. Deep down, you both knew exactly what you meant. Your words remained solid though, eyes staring at him like a fox refusing to glance away from his brown irises.

“Wanna try me?”

You were playing a dangerous game, you knew that. Something about you didn’t care though. There were many ways this conversation could’ve went, but you wouldn’t expect it to go in this direction.

The air in the room was thick, Issei’s brown irises watching you nothing short of predator like. No one spoke after those three words, and faintly, the change in mood also affected the change in genre of music as R&B began to slowly play through his speakers. You wanted to scoff.

His large ring covered hand suddenly inched towards your chin, gripping your jaw and forcing your eyesight on his own face. You weren’t one to blush, but the roughness to his calloused fingers brought a small tinge between your slightly exposed thighs.

“You gonna get in the back or I gotta force you back there?” His words commanded you, the strictness laced within the confines of his voice leaving you no option to do as he told.

Doing what Matsukawa said as if you were following his orders was something foreign to you. The temptation of doing as you pleased crossed the back of your mind, but the curiosity of seeing what he had in store filled you with much more satisfaction.

Without a word and instead settling for a simple eye roll, you kicked your shoes off and found your way between the two front seats and into the cold leather seats of the back of his car. It was cramped, surprisingly cleaner than you'd imagine, and smelt of nothing but Issei.

You would have enjoyed it if the circumstances were different.

Your body sat with your feet resting behind you, leaving a space open for him. The sound of his car door opening and shutting was the cause of the goosebumps rising against your skin.

Subconsciously, you knew were supposed to hate him. You were supposed to despise him for always being such an asshole to you, and you were never supposed to forgive him for anything he’s ever said to you out of his stupid smirking mouth.

You weren't supposed to be hopping into the backseat of his car after challenging him into sleeping with you. You weren’t supposed to be enjoying the feeling of his presence as it finally found its way next to you, the dark tints of his windows hiding his expression but not doing a good job at hiding the bulge hiding in the confinements of his sweatpants.

Your eyes glanced over his, quickly switching between the tent and his irises with an innocent smile on your face. “You gonna take those off or am I gonna have to force them off you?’

Mattsun had never laughed at anything you’d ever said. At least, never to your face. For the first time though, a soft chuckle left his lips as he hunched his body over and rolled his sweats down. You’d be lying if you said you never wanted to provoke that sound out of him again.

He wore Supreme black briefs, a smirk on his lips as he watched your eyes trail over to the excessively large print. His dick was long, curving deliciously to the left and making you fear for your own safety. The thought of that nearly made you drool.

Mattsun made a show of pulling his briefs down, his erection springing to life and showing you that he wasn't even fully hard yet. Maybe you would’ve felt some type of way about not arousing him as much as he was you, and you could thank the pool inside your panties for that, but something about it brought a glimmer to your eye Issei couldn’t ignore.

“Eager to suck my dick, huh?” His words ring against your ears, and you do nothing but give him a glare while getting on all fours across the backseat.

His long torso leaned against the car door, eyes boring onto your frame with a blank expression that drove you insane. You knew this was all an act, he had to have been pretending just to get a rise out of you. There was no way you could’ve missed the way his dick twitched when you got up to take your shorts off.

Your frame was left in a white t-shirt and a seamless green pair of panties known for their cheekster style. He would’ve told you that you looked absolutely delectable, but he'd never let you sit within that satisfaction.

You lowered yourself on all fours once again, holding your hair back with one hand and lowering yourself down between his long limbs. Your eyes just couldn't look away, the large veins running up and down his perfect looking length in a way that made you embarrassingly ready to shove it down your throat already.

And without another word, you opened your lips and allowed a trail of saliva to sliver down the underside of his dick. His thighs tensed up, but as you watched him through your lashes while lowering your lips onto his tip, his bored and expressionless face remained the same.

He couldn't take his eyes off the sight in front of him, as much as he'd hate to admit it. Your ass was up in the air, back arched in a way that nearly made him release a groan as your pretty little mouth left sloppy kisses along his throbbing tip. You used a free hand to run down his cock slowly, hands landing underneath his thick balls and holding them alongside the bottom half of his dick.

He tried to hold the hiss you took out of him, but you used that as an excuse to make him suffer even more. Almost as if it were a competition, you sucked your cheeks in while taking the rest him that fit into your mouth agonizingly slow.

Matsukawa was too big, not that you were complaining. You didn’t have much of a gag reflex, but his size goes beyond that. So in order to accommodate to the situation at hand, you lolled your tongue out across your bottom lip and easily slipped a bit more than half of him down your throat until he felt his tip tickle the back of it.

“Holy fuck..” He breathed out, words stopping as he bit his lip and tilted his head to get a better look at you.

Your eyes began to water, but you ignored the sensation to take a deep breath as you began to massage his balls and lower half with your saliva covered hands. You began to move your mouth in the opposite direction of your hands, touching just enough of his balls with your tongue to get him to grip a chunk of your hair from within your own hand.

“Fuck, just like that.” You never took your eyes off him, and Matsukawa found it even harder to control himself with the way you took so much of him with so much ease.

You hollowed your cheeks as you slipped his now fully-hard dick out your mouth. Trails of saliva followed, the explicit view of your teary eyes and sloppy lips making him groan within his throat.

“Fuck my throat.”

The words were harsh, your expression being just as blank as his once was, and Issei realized he wasn’t really the one in control here. Not if all it took was for you to tell him what to do and he was scrambling to do it like second nature.

His lips revealed that lazy smirk you wanted to fuck off his face, the large hand gripping your hair nearly shoving his dick back into your fresh, wet mouth. “Don’t mind if I do, princess.”

The nickname he called you didn't even have time to register in your mind, the sensation of Matsukawa forcing your head up and down his dick as much as he could being the only thing on your brain. You couldn't help the tears from slipping down your cheeks, eyes opening once again to hazily look over to the ones burning a hole into your face.

Matsukawa couldn’t find it in himself to look away from you. He wasn't sure if it was the tears, or the way you allowed him to fuck your throat so easily, or the drool leaking down into the balls you fondled at the same time, or even the way the hand once gripping your own hair found its way between your legs as he watched you play with yourself, but Issei decided this image was going to ruin everyone else for him.

He already decided he couldn't get enough of you. The sound of your gags filled with car in a nearly pornographic way, yet not once did you ask him to stop and he took note of that.

“Fuck,” he broke out, eyes struggling to watch yours as his lips parted open, “you’re gonna make me cum,” his words were interrupted by a load groan. Your tongue found its way back onto his balls as his tip rammed into the back of your throat and Issei felt his toes curl. “Fuck, fuck, fuck..”

Right on time, you went against his strong grip and popped his dick out of your mouth with saliva drooling down in a way that looked so forbidden, Issei was sure he would’ve came at that sight alone.

“That was...”

“Not your type?” You bit at him, a mocking smile on your lips as you bit your lip and found your way onto the comfort of his lap.

It was weird, the way you felt like you fit perfectly within his frame as if it was a piece of a puzzle. Matsukawa would agree if he could, hands nearly instinctively finding its way onto the globed of your ass and pulling the fabric of your panties over and over again.

“Never in a million years.”

His smirk haunted you, lidded eyes staring at you once again and you realize Issei Matsukawa is a really hard guy to get a reaction out of. So taking the challenge yet again, you stared at him just as emotionless. Your fingers lifted the patch stuck to your folds, and the trail of wetness that dripped over onto both you and his own thighs was nearly sinful to the sore eyes.

It was hard to imagine taking a dick you were sure you could see in your stomach with such an expression, and you wouldn’t wish that suffering on your worst enemy. You couldn’t believe how much just half of him stretched your insides out, your walls sucking him in and barely being able to hold it in together.

“Don't worry, take your time.” Matsukawa’s tone was beyond condescending, the taunt behind his words bringing an anger within you enough to cloud your mind of all common sense. It was unexpected, the way your body just shoved the rest of him inside of your tight, pulsating hole and rested all your body weight on top of him.

“Fuck!” Both of you yelped out, your hands clawing at his chest while his gripped your ass cheeks apart in nothing but a burning sensation.

He filled you up to the brim, the sureness of him hitting your cervix causing your eyes to flutter at the feeling. You bit your lip, adjusting your body to where your feet were on either side of him on the backseat and your body was more able to move.

His eyes widened in surprise at your actions, the sound of both of your pants alongside the music that was long forgotten struggling to keep you attentive. Without warning, you lifted your body up and slammed back down onto him. The action brought a pretty little gasp out your lips, mouth parted and eyes clenched at just how fucking amazing the curve and thickness of his cock was.

“C’mon baby,” he whispered into your ears, hands reaching over to intertwine themselves with your own so you got better balance, “fuck me like you mean it.”

“You’re such an asshole.” You breathed out, beginning to bounce your body up and down his dick perfect enough to hear the squelching sounds of your wetness after every impact. Issei groaned, eyes glued to the sight of where your pussy swallowed him whole and spit him back out over and over again.

“Mm, what else baby?”

Issei’s bored resolve started to crack, groans slipping through his lips in a way that made you tighten up against him even more if it were possible. Your hands gripped his intertwined ones, bouncing up and down faster than you could probably handle. The sensation of his dick hitting your cervix over and over causing you to arch your back closer into his body as you bounced.

The sound of your body slamming into his began to quicken, the strength of your legs giving up as you realized his started to fuck you back from the bottom and drill his length into you.

“Fuck, Issei…” You moaned out embarrassingly loud, Mattsun’s eyes watching you with curiosity in his irises from the way he wanted to figure out how to get you to moan out like that again.

“Don’t be shy now,” he teased, the strain in his voice telling you that even if he was torturing you with the pounding of his dick, he was enjoying it just as much as you, “where’d all that mouth go, pretty?”

You felt yourself clench at the nickname, head leaning back and leaving your neck open for him to lick a trail over towards your jaw and softly bite the plush skin. The windows began to fog up, the sensation of your poor pussy taking him in and out and quick pace causing the car to jump up and down with each stroke.

“F-fuck,” you stuttered out, nearly crying out when his hands found it’s way towards under your ass to support you as he drilled all of this thickness into your throbbing pussy.

The familiar knot began to grow within your stomach, and your hand found it’s way between his messy locks only to grab it and tilt his head roughly back against the window. A surprised groan left his lips, eyes staring up at you widely with a smirk endured from straight pleasure shot up his lips.

“You gonna cum all on daddy’s dick?”

Usually the words would have made you cringe, and you wanted to bite a snarky remark at him for the name. Yet something in you grew feral at the sentence, beginning to rub your clit against him each time you harshly dropped down as you roughened your grip on his hair.

“Fuck yes, daddy, make me cum,” your words tickled his ears, the moans at the end of each word bringing Matsukawa into a state of euphoria. He could hear you say that to him for the rest of his life, if he could.

“Come on baby,” he groaned out harshly, smacking your ass enough to leave a sting that made you cry out into his neck, “give it to me!”

His words echoed in your ears, your loud cries like music to his ears as he watched you fuck him back just as rough as he was being with you. Your hand pulled his head back once again, his scalp hitting the window harshly but he didn’t care once your lips came crashing onto his.

It was nothing but teeth and tongue, sucking on each other’s muscles and making out as if nothing in this world could ever be right again without it. His hands gripped your ass once again, spreading them harshly apart and spanking them with as much toughness that went into spiking a volleyball.

You screamed into his mouth, words being unable to come out as he began to drill into you even rougher and faster than you knew was possible. Your legs had long given out at this point, simply being tossed up and down like a rag doll by Issei’s strong arms and cocky attitude. You were in heaven, even if you’d never admit it.

“I— I hate you,” you fought to yelp out, pussy beginning to squeeze at the feeling you knew all too well as you stared into his eyes and made him look at you as if he was seeing God, “but you fuck me— fuck, you fuck me so good..”

Your words became faint whispers, stars beginning to formulate instead of his once brown irises and bring you into a state of euphoria.

“Daddy I’m gonna—” The words were stolen from your lips as Matsukawa slammed your lips against his own and gripped your back close to his chest.

“Cum baby,” he groaned into your lips, your own sounds preventing you from being able to kiss him back as your covered tits bounced into the confinement of his chest, “cum on daddy’s big dick.”

The words brought a vibration within you, a mantra of the words daddy and please slipping as you felt the euphoria take over your body and leave you with nearly nothing inside you. Issei could practically feel you cum, his own resolve giving out as his shot his thick cum into your throbbing pussy and bringing another scream from between your swollen lips.

“Take it, good girl— fuck yes..” Words slipped from his mouth without his own permission, the sensation of your pussy holding him within you as if it never wanted to let him go and he really wouldn’t mind.

Nothing but your struggles to catch your own breath filled the car, his own haunting the ghost of your ear as you laid out across his chest with saliva threatening to slip from your lips and cum leaking down both of your thighs. It was absolutely disgusting if you really thought about it, but the idea of knowing you had just slutted each other out so sinfully brought your toes to curl one last time.

No one said a word, and as much as you wanted to comment on how he was still gripping your chest against his own, you decided to go against it and try to find reality from the solitude of his wide chest. You could hear Brent Faiyaz on the radio, the view of just how foggy the windows were making you giggle to yourself.

“What’s funny?” The rumble of the words against his chest caused your pussy to throb once again, and you had almost forgotten he was still lodged inside of you with a load of cum threatening to spill out.

“Nothing.” Your voice was gone, and as embarrassing as it was, Issei mentally found himself obsessing over how raspy it got.

The silence was calm, yet the awkward conversation of what next lingered within the air between the two of you. You knew it was going to come soon, and you weren’t really sure of what could possibly happen afterwards. There was no going back from this, Issei Matsukawa had fucked you so good, you never wanted to fuck anyone else again.

The first to break it was Mattsun, which took you by surprise. His large hands found their way towards you cheek, caressing your head as his pushed you back far enough to face him with fucked out eyes and swollen lips and Issei convinces himself you’re one of the seven wonders of the world.

“We should do that again sometime.” He suggests, bored eyes staring into yours as you noticed the small smile lifting amongst the corner of his lips. You wanted to smile back, but the idea of having some more fun with him seemed quite better.

“Eh,” you replied, lifting your weakened body back into his straddling state and biting your lips as you placed both hands across his broad chest. You notice the way his cock twitches hungrily within you, and you realize you were gonna enjoy this a bit too much.

He’s seeing stars, thinking the hottest thing he’s ever seen is a fucked out you staring at him this way and you realize you’ve finally won. You stare at him, bored eyes and a lazy smirk on your lips mimicking the face he spent all his life mastering.

“You’re not really my type.”

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somethingpoetichere · 3 years

Text

lovebug- caliban imagine

sup. fic inspired by my favorite song in THE world. not as soft mushy as it may sound I promise caliban is a nice lil sarcastic SHIT with a big ole crush. mild sabrina bashing but its funny in context and I think it’s the way family behaves. reader is a Spellman, not a witch but DOES know about the supernatural/is part of the supernatural world. here with my once in a blue moon post lol. feedback would be appreciated!

called her for the first time yesterday

finally found the missing part of me

felt so close but you were far away

left me without anything to say

Caliban was not an idiot- he knew not to underestimate the Spellman half-witch that had gone and declared herself queen of hell. So he’d taken the liberty of learning everything he could about her, noting her habits and schedule and the people she surrounded herself with.

And then he found you.

You weren’t a witch- at least, he hadn’t found your name in his diligent searching through the Book of the Beast- but you were something. That he was sure of. There was something slightly off about your presence, tinged a little glittery, though not altogether unpleasant.

No, not unpleasant at all, he mused as he watched you make your way towards your car. Tucked into a little yellow sundress, you stood out like a ray of sunshine in the wave of doom-and-gloom that hallmarked high school. The school bell rang out behind you, and Caliban felt his knees go disgustingly weak as you smiled brilliantly at Sabrina through the crowd.

It was a stupid, stupid decision that Caliban would never have made in the right state of mind, but he reasoned that pissing off Sabrina was validation enough to get your attention. He ducked into your path on purpose, taking advantage of your momentary distraction as he gently bumped into you. oops.

You collided with a solid wall, books tumbling out of your hands as strong arms reached out to steady you. You let out a surprised yelp at the collision, peeking up curiously as the wall you’d hit laughed.

Oh, well that was a sight for sore eyes.

The golden haired stranger holding you was, well, gorgeous. Bright blue eyes peered down at you as he grinned, and you felt the whole world shutter around you. You’d definitely been watching too many soap operas with your auntie, but goddamn it if you weren't positively putty.

“Hi there, stranger.” You giggled nervously, and Caliban suddenly remembered he’d had his arms around you for far too long to be acceptable. He reluctantly retreated, feeling something claw a little uncomfortably in his chest.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” He apologized, moving to pick up your books as you bent down to retrieve them. He ran a hand through his hair in barely concealed bashfulness, unsure of why he felt so... unsettled, all of a sudden.

“It’s alright, my head was in the clouds.” You waved off his apology, accepting the books he offered you with a grateful smile. “Are you new here? I don’t think we’ve met.”

“He’s new here!” Sabrina’s shrill voice interrupted, training her icy glare on Caliban, who fought back a smirk. “This is Caliban- he’s from... Australia! Yeah, down under!”

“Oh, I can show you around tomorrow! I know how scary it can be to be new here.” You patted his arm sympathetically, ignoring Sabrina’s stream of indignant protests. “I was with student council all day. If you’re a senior, we probably have most of the same classes.”

Caliban had shit to do. Caliban had trials to plan and souls to torture. But you were looking at him- all warmth and sunshine, and Sabrina’s look of pure horror only sweetened the deal.

“I’ll see you in class tomorrow then, sunshine.”

so worth it.

now i'm speechless, over the edge

i'm just breathless

i never thought that i'd catch this love bug again

hopeless, head over heels in the moment

i never thought that i'd get hit by this love bug again

Caliban didn't understand why the mortals all bemoaned high school as hell on earth. It certainly wasn't so bad once you got past the wave of body spray and the questionable cafeteria food. In fact, darting to class with a pretty girl beside him was pretty enjoyable, all things considered.

You’d spent the day introducing him to the other students, passing him silly notes in class, and had even tugged him from the lunch room to hang out with your friends in the library. He learned that you pretty much did it all- student council, cheerleader, top of your class- all while managing to somehow know the name of everyone you passed with a smile in the halls. You were silly and sweet— smart as all hell with a wit that certainly kept the clay prince on his toes.

and he was smitten.

The groan that escaped your painted lips was delightfully sinful as you slumped in the seat beside him in english class. “I hate Romeo and Juliet. How do two people fall in love in a few days anyhow? And Mrs. Willows always makes us reenact the scenes, and it’s so corny.” The blush that colored your cheeks as he looked at you in concern was something he did his best to commit to memory- cheesiness be damned, Caliban was enjoying himself far too much.

Caliban smirked, skimming through the booklet he’d been passed as the teacher droned. The prince of hell had a certain flare for the dramatics, and Sabrina’s glare burning into the back of his head only fueled his antics. He had one scene in mind, and it was the scene that was certain to kill four birds with one stone- totally make you fall in love with him, he would somehow manage to kiss you (that part was a work in progress), piss off Sabrina, and also- piss off Sabrina.

And kiss you. So maybe five parts. Damn it, Caliban was going to have to make a list.

“Partners?” He whispered softly, gently tugging at your hand as the teacher sat back down. Caliban’s eyes were alight with a tinge of mischief that you either failed to notice or were simply amused by- and your answering nod was more than a little bashful. “We can do my favorite scene.”

“If you say the first kiss scene, I’m punching the daylights out of you.” You warned, playfully nudging his knee with your own. “It will be unkind and I will not feel bad.”

“My lady wounds me.” He dramatically rested his hand above his heart. “And we absolutely have to do this scene-” He raised his hand to silence your half-hearted protests- “because Billy told the guys in calculus that he was specifically going to be pissed if we did this scene.”

Okay, so maybe he’d stretched the truth a little bit. But Caliban knew that the mention of your seedy ex-boyfriend (who you’d enlightened him about during lunch) would absolutely get you to agree to the scene. And it wasn't like he’d lied— Billy Marlin’s glare was nearly as icy as Sabrina’s. And, it wasn't like the way Billy looked at you- with something akin to possession in his eyes- totally made Caliban want to fast track the kid to damnation right then and there. Nope.

“We can meet up later today to practice? I have cheerleading practice after school, but I’m free after that!” You grinned at him, and he felt the tension ease out of his shoulders as you rested your hand on his arm. The gesture was so effortless- but to Caliban, who’d never really experienced connection like this- you reduced him to all but clay again.

“I can drive you home after practice?” Caliban offered, enjoying the yelp that Sabrina let out from the back of the classroom. He shouldered your bag as the bell sounded, noting the way your eyes softened even further at the gesture. “We don't really have cheerleaders down under, you know.”

“You’re welcome to stay and watch.” You shrugged, ignoring the way your heart thudded erratically as he walked you to the locker room. “It won’t be too long today, and Sabrina has a date with Nick after, anyways.”

it was really just too easy.

i can't get your smile out of my mind

i think about your eyes all the time

you're beautiful but you don't even try

(you don't even, don't even try)

modesty is just so hard to find

Caliban wasn’t sure if he regretted his earlier offer. Sure, the sight of you tucked into the tight cheerleading uniform (did they make them that short on purpose?) was pretty much the pinnacle of male fantasy, and the smiles and winks you’d thrown his way whenever he caught your eye during your routines were something else altogether.

But getting the sight out of his brain as you rambled aimlessly in the car about today’s chapters of Dante’s Inferno, while he simultaneously tried to focus on the road and definitely not the way your skirt hitched on the leather seat...

Yeah, Caliban was pretty sure he was in love.

You weren’t too far off, in all honesty. Caliban’s large hands had a firm grip on the steering wheel, and you took the time to admire further up his toned arms as he drove. His hair fell in loose, windswept waves, and his side profile looked like it was sculpted by the freaking gods. Every so often he would glance your way, his perfect lips parting to reveal his perfect teeth and perfect smile and gods-

Yeah, you had the lovebug bad.

“So how did you meet Sabrina?” You questioned innocently enough, and Caliban had to restrain the urge to spill all of the hell-related gossip to you. How Sabrina had managed to keep all of her throne-seeking from you was beyond him, but it certainly added a thrill to his pursuit of you.

“I had some administrative issues the other day and ran into her. She doesn’t like me too much, I’ve gathered.” Caliban was careful not to lie- his entanglement with you had the added perk of pissing off your dearest cousin, but it was genuine on Caliban’s end. He found he didn’t really want to lie about things.

“Sabrina is... touchy.” You offered carefully, shifting in your seat as you pointed out directions to your home. “I don’t really understand why she doesn't like you, to be honest. I was actually going to have a word with her about being nice- you’ve been so sweet, and I was the new kid too a few years back. It's hard to find your place in the established dynamic of a small town.”

Caliban doubted you’d had too much of an issue, with the way the halls seemed to light up around you, but the accompanying smile you gave him was bright enough to soothe his imagined woes. “It’s alright, I reckon she’ll get used to having me around.”

“Used to you?” You mused with a giggle, leaning on the console in a gesture that brought your face much, much closer to his own. He was overwhelmed with your floral scent- something soft and summery and altogether you.

“I plan on being around you a lot, sunshine. If you don’t mind.” He grinned, turning to face you momentarily at the stop sign. Your eyes were wide with hardly concealed surprise at his words, and he watched the realization of the close proximity of his face flicker through them.

It happened so fast that Caliban was almost certain he imagined it- but your eyes had definitely glanced at his lips. The blush that tinged your cheeks as you pulled back confirmed it, and in a moment of calculated risk, Caliban moved to rest his hand on your exposed thigh.

“No, I wouldn’t mind at all.”

If Caliban squinted, he could almost picture that he was a normal teenage boy, driving a beautiful, normal girl home from school. The sinking sun was peeking through the windows, bathing you in an ethereal glow, and - at least for right now- everything was perfect.

you were perfect.

now i'm speechless, over the edge

i'm just breathless

i never thought that i'd catch this love bug again

hopeless, head over heels in the moment

i never thought that i'd get hit by this love bug again

Caliban draped himself across your bed, a languid smirk on his lips as you kicked haphazardly placed piles of clothes into your closet.

“I promise I’m not usually this messy,” you apologized with a sheepish smile, shoving a mass of shoes under your bed, “okay, that's a lie. I’m always this messy, I just didn’t expect company.”

Caliban hardly minded. It was adorable how embarrassed you were, and he took the time to take in your bedroom (drawn from his reverie only by the occasional delighted shout when you found a shirt you’d thought had been sacrificed to the laundry gods, or worse, Sabrina’s room).

The first thing Caliban noticed was the books. While your clothes lay in scattered piles, all of your books were meticulously organized and lovingly tucked into shelves that took up an entire wall of the room. Sabrina may have answered that Caliban’s only hobby was torturing babies (or her, which was the same thing, really— and also, what the hell? Caliban may have enjoyed the occasional soul flaying, but only when it was well deserved!)— but Caliban loved to read.

What was one lifetime in one world, when he could learn of a thousand others in just as many universes? Immortality could grow dull, and eternity had to be spent somehow. Caliban tried not to smile as you precariously placed the book that had found its way onto your nightstand back into its place, and supposed that it might be far more enjoyable with someone else.

You seemed satisfied with your damage control, and slumped onto the bed dramatically with a groan. It was then that Caliban’s hand found a stray victim of your clothing massacre.

“Nice.” He grinned, and you peeked up from your playbook to find him dangling a pink lace bra.

Shit.

“Give me that!” You lunged, but Caliban was too fast. He quickly moved them from your reach, laughing wildly as you wrestled him desperately for the bra.

“You are the worst.” A groan escaped you, and you huffed in fake-defeat as Caliban smirked victoriously at your retreat. You leaped at the chance, tackling Caliban with all your might. While momentarily surprised, he reacted quickly and shifted so that he was now pinning you to the bed, his hair dangling wildly in your face as you both laughed.

Caliban’s face was so close that you could see the flecks of green in his eyes. For a moment, his eyes seemed to flicker to your lips, but in the seconds it took for you to find your voice again, you’d lost your nerve.

“We should get back to the scene.”

The moment was broken, and Caliban retreated with a bashful look on his face. He ran a hand through his hair and moved to sit across from you, his cheeks tinted a little red as he politely handed you back your intimates and pretended to shield his eyes when you tossed it somewhere. You’d never been so freaking embarrassed in your life, but Caliban was smiling so softly at you, like you were—

“If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this: my lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.” He motioned around with his hands dramatically, tone playful and light.

You were so dead. Caliban was freaking made for this romantic swooning nonsense that you’d tried to protest nearly the whole ride home, Billy Marlin be damned.

Giggling nervously in what you hoped seemed scene-appropriate, you tried your best to forget being a horny teenager to instead play a horny teenager. “Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this, for saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.”

Caliban’s voice lowered, a smile still tugging at his lips as he took your hands in his own. “Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?”

“Ay, pilgrim.” Your own voice softened in turn as Caliban began to trace mindless patterns on the backs of your hands with his thumbs, “lips that they must use in prayer.”

“O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do. They pray; grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.” Caliban’s eyes were soft, and you imagined that Shakespeare had pictured the man in front of you when putting the words to paper. The words fell so naturally from his lips and he seemed engrossed in the scene— he was, for lack of a better word, enchanting.

“Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.” Your voice was hardly more than a breathless whisper, the proximity of your faces and the intimacy (however imagined) stealing the air from your lungs.

Caliban paused, his eyes meeting yours intently as if searching for something. Whatever it was, he seemed to find it as he took your face in both of his hands.

“Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take.”

It was all too much. You could hardly be blamed for kissing him as fiercely as you did.

It was like fireworks, like every cheesy romance novel and play (cough, Romeo and Juliet) claimed it would be. You’d had plenty of kisses before, but never one that melted your brain like this. You forgot all about the scene, about how not real this was supposed to be as your hands tangled in his windswept hair and he pulled you onto his lap.

It was Caliban who first pulled away, only just so that your noses were touching. He was breathing heavily, eyes blown wide— and you felt your whole face turn red as reality consumed you again. “I am so sorry, I’ll just—”

“Where do you think you’re going, Juliet?” Caliban’s hands firmly gripped your hips, preventing you from moving away. His fingers thumbed the band of your skirt, and his next words were a whisper against your lips.

“Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged.”

kissed her for the first time yesterday

everything i wished that it would be

suddenly i forgot how to speak

hopeless, breathless, baby can't you see?

Caliban was in love. He’d spent the next three weeks with you reciting Romeo and Juliet, sharing shakes at Dr. Cerberus, and tugging you into empty classroom and closets at every opportunity to kiss you senseless. Every moment not spent with you was at least somewhat occupied by the thought of you, and Caliban found he wasn’t the least bit upset about it.

And Sabrina was pissed.

If she’d hated him before, she positively loathed him now. It was the latest point of contention between yourself and your darling cousin, who’d you taken to threatening with various kitchen utensils and promises to tell the aunties she’d been sneaking out to make her behave. And Caliban, for his part, was perfectly polite— even though he still had every intention of taking the throne from the inexperienced witch who promised to destroy the balance of heaven and hell.

Which presented Caliban’s own latest dilemma. He was going to have to tell you eventually— and in a way that didn't make you totally hate him. He had a plan. Okay, maybe a skeletal plan. Or no plan. Yeah, Caliban was going to wing it.

After today. He just had to make it through your reenactment of Romeo and Juliet with no demonic catastrophes or maiming Blly, and then he would tell you everything.

But even that was too much to ask.

Sabrina burst through the english classroom doors, yelling in barely concealed panic that there was a BIG problem and the principal needed Caliban now.

Caliban moved to leave with an apologetic smile in your direction, which you were absolutely not having. Despite your current frustration with Sabrina, she looked downright terrified, and you were both concerned for your cousin and overwhelmed with a gut feeling that something was up.

After a few moments, you excused yourself to use the restroom.

You hauled ass to the gym, where the screaming sounded to be coming from. When you entered, you were met with the strangest sight.

The gym was filled with winged... rats? And at the center of the chaos was Sabrina and Caliban, back to back and armed with what appeared to be lacrosse sticks. Caliban’s shirt was tattered from the rats, and you took a fraction of a second to banish the completely innappropriate and untimely thoughts from your head.

“And no one thought to call me?” You shouted angrily through the swarm, snagging a baseball bat from the rack and smacking it around with reckless abandon. Caliban hooted, laughing loudly as you took your place beside them. Rats tore at your clothes, but you were more frustrated that Sabrina had called your boyfriend (or whatever he was) over you.

“Why did you get Caliban! I was right there! Is there something wrong with you? Were you dropped on the head as a child? He’s not even from here Sabrina, he has no idea what-”

“For hell’s sake, he’s not the new kid! He’s not even from Australia! He’s a stupid clay prince from hell who is trying to take my throne and raze humanity, and his stupid plague king sent these after me, and now he’s dating you!” Sabrina spat out the word dating as if it was even more disgusting than the winged vermin tearing at your clothes.

“Will someone please explain what the hell is going on here?”

You were no less frustrated when Sabrina revealed her trek to hell and the all ensuing madness she’d partaken in, but you remained calm enough to not turn the bat on her clearly empty skull.

“And you’re the clay prince of hell... challenging her throne?” You questioned with a sharp glance at Caliban, who nodded reluctantly as he swatted a rat hurtling towards you.

“Do you even have a driver’s license!” You screamed, waving your baseball bat around wildly.

“I’m a demon prince of hell made out of clay, and you’re worried about if I can legally drive?” Caliban shouted back in astonishment through the wave of shrieking rats. The lacrosse stick he’d snagged was surprisingly effective.

“I was getting to that part, thank you for reminding me!” You hissed, debating whether to smash his face in with the bat. “How about we start with how you completely lied to me, and how our whole relationship or whatever it is a lie! Were you ever going to tell me? Or was this all part of some throne grab?”

“It wasn’t a lie!” Caliban demanded hotly. “You were not a lie!”

“Really!” You whirled on him, eyes alight with anger. “Because I sure feel like one!”

The rats numbers were dwindling rapidly, and you smacked the last one heading towards you directly at Caliban’s face. It collided with a satisfying shriek, and you threw your bat down as you stormed out of the gym.

Sabrina and Caliban rushed after you, but you’d disappeared in the hall.

now i'm, yeah, oh!

now i'm speechless, over the edge

i'm just breathless

i never thought that i'd catch this love bug again

now i'm hopeless, head over heels in the moment

i never thought that i'd get hit by this love bug again, (oh)

love bug again

You’d remained collected until you’d transported into the middle of the living room, collapsing into auntie Hilda’s arms in a puddle of tears as you told her everything. She’d muttered a stream of ancient curses about Sabrina, but beyond that merely smoothed your hair and told you that all boys were awful— especially demonic princes of hell.

“I hate him.” You glared half-heartedly into your cup of steaming peppermint tea. You couldn’t believe you’d been so stupid. Falling blindly in love with a stranger who had only sought you out for some elaborate game with Sabrina. Screw Caliban and his perfect hair, his perfect smile, his perfect— “I want to bash his face in.”

“No you don't, love.” Hilda smiled knowingly. “You’re angry, yes— and hurt. But you care for the boy. I’ve never seen you so happy as you’ve been these last few days. I think you ought to cool down and hear what he has to say.”

“I never want to talk to him again.” You groaned, burying your face in a pillow. “I’d rather die.”

And because the universe was truly conspiring against you, a knock sounded at the door.

“Well, best get over that quick.” Hilda warned, ignoring your stream of indignant protests as she hustled to the door.

“Caliban! Yes, do come in love. Oh, yes, we will be having a little chat later, but for now I think it’s my niece you must be speaking to.” Hilda’s cheerful voice trailed in from the foyer, and you jumped up to make a break for it.

You were halted by a familiar pair of strong arms tugging you back by the waist.

“Get off of me!” You shouted, pushing Caliban away harshly and ignoring the warmth that lingered where he’d touched you. “I want my baseball bat. Somebody get me my baseball bat! I’m going to bash your stupid pretty face in you asshole—”

“Five minutes.” Caliban pleaded desperately, “just give me a five minutes to explain, and then I’ll give you back the baseball bat to bash my face in, okay?”

You considered his offer for a moment, swallowing the sob crawling its way up your throat as you nodded reluctantly. If it made him leave faster, you’d do anything.

His shoulder sagged in barely concealed relief. “Okay. I am Caliban, Prince of Hell. I am not from Australia, clearly, and am not a transfer student. I am trying to take your cousin’s throne. She does not understand the realm of the damned— she thinks it needs to be generous, rather than a fair judgment of life. I am not her father, and I do not believe in reckless or cruel damnation. I do not wish any harm on Sabrina, and I’ve managed to keep the worst of the plague kings from her. Even if you were to reject me now, I would continue to try to protect her— you have my word.” Caliban paused as you released a breath you did not know you were holding. Your eyes finally dared to meet his, and you nodded for him to continue.

“I agreed to attend Greendale because yes, it did piss off Sabrina, but you were there.” He raised his hand to halt your protest. “You intrigued me, and I wanted to know you better. I will be fully honest that it had the added bonus of irritating your cousin, who I so delight in irritating, but my primary focus was you. You... enchanted me. I had never found myself so invested in anything before as I was in spending mundane days at high school— of all things— with you. Truthfully, it confused even me at first. And while the past you knew is false, I am real— and my feelings for you are true.”

“That is such bullshit, and you know it!” You exploded furiously, smacking his chest with untamed rage. “You knew exactly what you were doing. Who agrees to go to high school because they like a girl? Are you unhinged? Who doesn't just ask someone out if they were so interested, huh? No, you came here with your stupidly perfect little ‘oh I’m Caliban, and I’m so dreamy’ act, knowing full well that it would make me completely abandon all rationality. Well guess what, I did! I fell stupid head over heels for you, and it was all one big lie.”

Your voice broke on the last few words, anger shifting to broken sadness as you continued to pound relentlessly on his chest. “I was a lie.”

He caught your hands, holding them against his chest as he pressed you against the wall. “You weren't a lie, Spellman.”

His words were breathless whisper, his beautiful eyes pained and desperate as he gripped your hands harder. “I fell for you the moment I saw you. I enrolled in high school because you smiled at me. I learned every line of Romeo and Juliet to recite them to you. When we first met, you wondered how Romeo and Juliet could possibly fall in love after a mere few days, but I understand it now. I have never been driven so completely insane by anything or anyone like this before. The power you have over me is unmatched. I am completely and wholly yours. If you were to ask me right now to leave, to never bother you again, I would leave my heart with you and spend my eternity in endless sorrow. I would think forever of the way you smiled at me, the way you kissed me, how soft your hair felt in my hands, and how my heart raced every time you laughed. I would never forgive myself for the pain I had caused you, and you would haunt me every day, every waking moment, every dream.”

Caliban moved your hands to his lips, nearly kissing them as he pleaded to you with tears in his beautiful eyes. You were motionless, turned to stone by his heavy gaze.

“So please, don’t become my specter. If I am a stranger to you now, let me make you fall for me all over again. I would do it a thousand times, if you'd let me. I could think of no sweeter way to spend my eternity.”

When you’d thought that Shakespeare had been imagining Caliban when he wrote, you’d been wrong. There was no poetry, no book, no lyric that could possibly compare to the way he spoke to you— the way his eyes so desperately tried to convey his anguish.

You removed your hands from his, and his whole face seemed to shatter.

“You’re not a stranger,” you muttered softly, moving to take his face your hands. His face remained guarded, but he leaned instinctively into your touch. “You’re Caliban.”

When you kissed him, it was like falling in love all over again.

And you supposed you did.

“But we are having a long, long talk about everything.” You warned as you pulled back, poking his chest sharply as he nodded profusely. “And if you ever, ever lie to me again, I’ll set something worse than flying rats on you. I’ll let Sabrina have you.”

Caliban laughed wildly, picking you up and spinning you around as he kissed you over and over again in sheer relief and joy. “I love you, Spellman. Anything you want, it’s yours.”

“I just want you, clay boy.”

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peralta-guaranteed · 3 years

Note

What abkut mafia!jake au

Stop giving me awesome AU ideas that I cannot write the fic for! 😭

- due to some really, really bad choices after high school (did he ever make other ones? who knows), Jake Peralta has ended up as a grunt for the Ianucci family. He doesn’t really do much - he’s mostly someone who gathers information and new areas for them to work in, because he’s good at randomly befriending people and milking them for all it’s worth. He’s done a few ‘deliveries’, too, but has never had to really get physical.

- (he was at one family meeting that turned into the ‘farewell’ of a mistrusted member and he still has nightmares about it)

- he’s never been arrested for anything and thought the police didn’t even know his name, so imagine his surprise when he’s approached by one of their higher-ups (as if he knows the rankings, psh, pigs are all the same) and subtly but definitely asked if he would be willing to work with them

- his task seems simple: bring one of their cops into the family undercover, the same way he has ‘recruited’ several bodega owners and other ‘low-skill’ workers that turned out to be useful for the family. Maybe keep an eye on the cop as well and help her out if she’s struggling

- she? oh yeah, it’s a woman. A frankly gorgeous woman, he realises when they meet up with her and some FBI dude who obviously pretends he’s not FBI, to discuss it all further. Her name is ‘Dora’, and he knows that’s a lie from the second she’s introduced, but the less he knows, probably the better. The rules are set, he gets a special cellphone number of a ‘cousin’ to contact if something goes wrong, and two weeks later Dora Perez is steadily working her way up the ranks with the Ianuccis, who are very proud of Jake for bringing in this brilliant new talent.

- He might or might not be looking out for her a little bit too much. He might or might not get involved in far more shady dealings with the Iannuccis so he can work closer with her. He might or might not be in deep, deep shit.

- ‘Dora’ is grateful for it, though, he learns every time he drives her home after a more difficult job. She used to be withdrawn and quiet with him, which he tried to equalise by cracking more and more stupid jokes and doing random silly stuff during their drives, but then one time they drive in absolute silence while she cleans blood of her hands, and he says something, he doesn’t remember what, but it’s the right thing apparently, because she starts to talk. She talks to him during every ride after, telling him about the stress and the constant guard she has to keep up and how none of her research binders prepared her for this, and at some point she tells him about nightmares and seeing death around every corner and she can’t wait for this mission to be over.

- (for her sake, he can’t wait for that either. For his sake, he wishes it would go on forever.)

- They’re sent out for a big job together once, because Jake has already become ‘connected’ to Amy in the Ianuccis’ eyes, and they both end up with blood on their hands, and some of it is hers.

- he gets out of the car after that drive home, and gets up to her tiny, fake apartment, and helps her clean the wounds (nothing too big, just cuts, because thank god that guy only had a knife before he beat it out of his hands and then beat the living daylight out of him after he injured her) with the softest fingers she’s ever felt. Then the cleaning alcohol is swapped for drinkable stuff, and they talk, and they talk about everything and nothing, about how a dead-beat dad and an absent mother make a Mafia goon, and how family pressure and a sense of constant duty make a detective who so badly wanted to say no to this assignment but couldn’t.

- “For what it’s worth, Dora, I’m glad you said yes. I mean, not that- not that I want you to do this kind of work- and I want things to be over for you soon, because- but- I’m glad it’s you.” “Amy.” “Hm?” “My name is Amy. Amy Santiago.”

- He wakes up in her bed the next morning, with her in his arms, and he kind of doesn’t regret a single thing, even as his smart-brain is screaming at him. He’s pretty sure he would’ve willingly died for her even before this night, but now, he realises... that he probably will.

- Amy (Amy, not Dora) does freak out a little more than he does when she wakes up. She can’t get involved, she says, this is a job, a dangerous one, and she has to focus on that job and getting the mafia gang and not- okay, okay, let’s not overthink this then, Jake says only to calm her down, we don’t do anything ‘involved’, we’re just... having fun. Keeping things light and breezy. Helping deal with the stress.

- and so, despite how much it hurts and how much it makes him happy at the same time, Jakey the Jew becomes Jakey, Dora’s Loverboy. It helps, he supposes, because it means the Ianuccis won’t suspect them hanging out so much, and send him along to most of her jobs now so he can watch out for her, and he gets to be with her in a way, even as she constantly reiterates ‘light and breezy’ to keep him at a distance no matter how close they get.

- it doesn’t feel very ‘light and breezy’ when they spend time together in front of the TV, though, to get their minds to relax after doing whatever the Ianuccis needed them doing. It doesn’t feel ‘light and breezy’ when they joke around in the bodega getting ice cream on a particularly hot day out doing jobs, or when she shows him around the library after meeting her ‘cousin’ there for a chat. It doesn’t feel ‘light and breezy’ at all when she sighs into his arms when he’s holding her in bed, neither of them even wanting to take the night any further than soft hands under tshirts, because all they really need at some point is the comfort of each other.

- and then one day, after a few months of this ‘light and breezy’ and ‘Dora’s Loverboy’, Jake gets invited for a ‘Talk’ by the family. With a capital T. And he’s not been that high up in the ranks at any point, and he’s not really done much for the family, but he’s not an idiot. He knows what that means. So of course he doesn’t tell Amy, writes her a short but succinct note instead that maybe ends with the L-word somewhere in it, and goes to have a Talk.

- The Ianuccis know that there is a rat, but they don’t know who. And they know that if Jakey is good for one thing, it’s information. So The Talk doesn’t end as quickly as it usually does, and the way he’d expected. It hurts a lot more, for one thing. Jake thinks of offering up some other goon or lower family member as the rat, if only to make the torture stop, but his brain is too broken in the moment to figure out a convincing story. And when the name ‘Perez’ suddenly drops into the conversation, there’s really only one other name he can still think of clearly to blame. Peralta.

- he doesn’t remember much after that - he’s pretty sure he heard gunshots, but none of them hit him, so what’s the deal with that? Everything else is pretty much a blur of pain and cold, and lots of shouting, and then warm soft hands on his face and a quiet voice saying his name amidst it all, and when he wakes up the next time he’s in a hospital bed.

- He’s in that hospital bed for two weeks to recover, and no one visits him. Not that it should be surprising - Nana is dead, his mom doesn’t know about anything he’s done since the age of 18 for a reason, and there’s no one else who in their right mind should care to visit him. So imagine his surprise when a detective shows up, introduces herself as Rosa Diaz, and explains that she’s Amy’s partner at work, but she’s not here for official business.

- “She wanted to come see you. Hell, she fought tooth and nail for it. But she had to be debriefed, stupid FBI assholes, and then it turned out two of the Ianuccis got away, so we had to find them first to make sure they don’t go after her for revenge” (well that explains the constant patrols in the hospital for him, as well) “and we had to hide her for her safety, but, Jake, she wanted to come see you. I swear.” “It’s okay.” Jake says, and it’s really not, but he’s been a brilliant liar for years now. “You can tell her... it’s okay. The job is done, and I’m, I’m glad she’s finally got it over and past her. Really. Tell her it’s okay.”

- He’s debriefed by the FBI after he gets discharged, as well. They tell him ‘good job’ and ‘thanks’ and pay him a surprisingly large amount of money and cover his hospital bills, so that’s good. They also advise that he move, not far, but far enough that any possible leftover scragglers of the family don’t remember his old place for a ‘visit’. So he moves, a few blocks only, enough to get a new favourite bodega and deli and discover that the library is actually nearby and that there’s this community college that Amy kept talking about for some reason, and if he takes a few classes to finally get a degree, it’s not about getting a proper job at some point, it’s more about not thinking about anything else. About maybe forgetting, even if it was her that basically got him where he is now.

- (it does not work)

- she knocks on his door a month later. She looks strange in her professional outfit instead of washed out jeans and a tanktop with a stupid slogan on it, but also so perfectly her. That’s Amy, he thinks, not Dora anymore. That’s Amy, and he still loves her just as much as he did when she was ‘Dora’ in his sweatpants and tshirt. Maybe more.

- “You’re a hard man to find, Peralta.” She says, and he knows that’s a lie, but she smiles with a scared look through it and he takes it for what it is - an attempt at saying anything, really, after 1 1/2 months of silence, when she’s probably got a speech all prepared in her head but needs to get there first. “That’s such a bad, cheesy movie line.” He helps, and she laughs and yeah, that’s all he needs in life. “Well we never watched any good movies, did we.” “Hey, we watched Die Hard. That’s the best movie there is.” She rolls her eyes but nods, and opens her mouth, and Jake thinks that the speech is coming now, but he has no idea what it might entail. Thank you and good bye, maybe. Good job, great work, can you sign this official statement for me so I can add it to my paperwork? possibly. “Screw light and breezy.” She says instead, and then she’s in his new apartment, which is much nicer and cleaner than the old place was even after she worked her magic on it, and she’s kissing him, and he’s never, ever letting her out.

#B99 #Brooklyn 99 #Peraltiago #Jake Peralta #Amy Santiago #headcanon? writing? I dunno anymore #Mafia AU

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liloelsagranger · 3 years

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Night shift - finally a new Rocketshipping-fanfiction

My dear friends,

it’s been a while since I last posted an entry. Let me tell you why and what, besides Covid-19, made me pause from publishing fanfictions over the last couple of months. Of course, Switzerland was very affected by the pandemic and still is today. We had numerous lock-downs or as Swiss people call it “slow downs”. My mother got very sick last year, I almost lost her. The doctors said she would only live two or three more days, but my mom is a fighter. She had to stay at the hospital for months, she endured countless medical examinations, had to take meds and slowly learned to live again. I’m so proud of my mother that she was strong and determined to get better. When she turned back home, I started to take care of her and I hate to leave her on her own, even if we’re talking about half an hour or less. Right now, she’s doing quite good, actually, we’re on vacation and she makes a great effort to participate in life in Italy. She’s my role-model! She will never be the same as before, but she won’t give up, she wakes up every morning to make progress. I prayed for her and her well-being, I prayed every single night she might get another chance and now we’re here at the beach and dining in fancy restaurants. It’s been a horrible year for everyone, a year full of sorrow, tears and desperation, a year where I was constantly afraid, the hospital would call me with some bad news, but she did it! She survived and she fights for her life! So proud! Good news is: I passed my doctoral exams and I’m officially allowed to call myself Dr. phil. des. Melanie C. but that won’t ever stop me from loving Team Rocket so here it is - a brand new Rocketshipping-fanfiction for you guys. LOVE YOU! Night shift

Chapter 1:

It was past ten o’clock when that miserable looking guy entered the diner. He inconspicuously sat down in the farthest corner of the café and immediately hid his face behind the menu card. Nevertheless, Jessie the waitress could make out the pathetic expression on his face, how he was cowering like a whipped dog. She had seen quite a bit in this diner. Drunks, thugs, addicts and other needy people who asked for a sympathetic ear, compassion and understanding, but that guy was different. He suffered terribly, but did not dare to communicate, instead he hid from the world so as not to attract attention and quietly endure his fate. Jessie had to do something about it. Of course, she didn’t want to play the Good Samaritan. She knew the tricks of the men who entered this diner. Most of the time, they told the waitress tall tales, hoping to be comforted, whatever they meant by that. But this young man did not make a shady impressionHe was well dressed, looked well-groomed, and Jessie was especially struck by his bright emerald green eyes, the only thing in his face that had not yet been veiled by grief and sorrow. She decided to do something about his displeasure.

“Did you have a rough day?” she asked while disinfecting the table.

He looked briefly into her eyes and nodded. “That’s one way to put it,” he answered, the gaze immediately lowered again.

This would be a taciturn conversation, but Jessie didn’t give up easily, she was a natural at making even rocks talk.

“Listen! No matter what happened, I’ve seen or heard some things. If I can help you in any way, my name is Jessie and I’m in charge of this table today. Let me just get the gum out from under your seat and get you a cold drink. What would you like?” She pulled a spatula from her apron and rubbed away the remains of the spoiled brats that marred her diner.

‘Wow,’ the young man thought to himself. ‘A strong, self-confident woman who lends a hand herself and who’s not above cleaning up dirt.’ Their eyes met briefly, and he forced a wry smile.

“You know, kid. You can’t rely on anyone. If you want to get everything done, do it yourself and don’t trust anyone. This world doesn’t give you anything for granted!” She briefly wiped the back of his chair before disappearing behind the counter and pouring the young man an ice-cold Coke.

“I have rarely seen you so concerned about a customer. Normally you show yourself aloof and only take the order, so as not to get involved in embarrassing conversations. Must be a really great pike, this pathetic creature in the far corner. Could it be that you’ve got a tiny crush on this guy?” For Eddy, teasing his best friend was the greatest pleasure. He didn’t know her like that. Jessie usually resisted any kind of small talk. This was due to her dark past, when she had repeatedly fallen for advances from men who were never looking for a steady relationship, but for a quick fix. Eddy had witnessed this bad time of his friend, how her heart was broken, how she was badly played with, and how she was simply dropped like a hot potato. Jack was the worst example of them all. While Jessie was already hearing the wedding bells ringing, he was making love to the women of the Strip and deceiving Jessie night after night with other broads. Jessie was devastated when she found out Jack was cheating on her. She was furious, not even at her lying boyfriend, but at herself for having been so stupid as to trust a man.

Jessie gave Eddy a light pat on the head. “Don’t be silly! That time is over. I can take care of myself, I don’t need male support for that. I’m a big girl, I make my own dough, and I keep my head above water pretty well. No, not a chance, I’ve sworn off flirting.” Nevertheless, she caught herself as her gaze wandered to the young man in the corner. “Oh yes, this time is definitely over,” Eddy smirked.

“Jessie, could you bring us a side of fries, please?” Misty’s order echoed throughout the hall. The twenty-year old waved her hands. She was used to speaking loudly, almost shouting, to attract guests to her daily water Pokémon show. Sometimes she walked up and down the streets of the Strip all day in the blazing hot sun, trying to win people for her underwater attraction. As an excellent student, she could have taught at any college, but she had decided early on to get into show business and make her living doing what she really loved, joined by Dewgong and Starmie. Her parents had not agreed with this decision at all, it was wasted talent, they had claimed, and had summarily turned Misty out the door. Since then, she had been struggling through life on her own, but could always count on Jess, the diner and her two best friends, Ash and Brock, young people who were also not favoured by fate.

“Temper your voice, twerp!” Jessie couldn’t help but grin. She spread the ketchup bottles around the table, hoping Ash wouldn’t spill on himself and the diner again. His constant companion Pikachu immediately hopped on his shoulder, grabbed a fry and popped it in his mouth. Ash and his Pokémon were carnies. He had trained his friend well and attracted many spectators with his performance. Most of them felt sorry for the guy and tipped generously. That’s why Ash was able to invite his friends to the diner every night, a place that gave them hope where they could experience security. They were convinced that nothing would ever disturb this idyll and that fate, for better or worse, had taken its course.

“Who’s that guy over there?” Brock wanted to know. He had barely sold chocolate and roses tonight. The others held back, but they were certain that their friend was just too pushy with women and that’s why he only collected rejections instead of green bills.

“I’ve never seen him here before. Must be from another area. I can’t tell you for the life of me why he’s wearing a suit at theses temperatures, he looks pretty pathetic to me anyways,” Jessie replied.

“Maybe his car has stalled,” Ash suggested, “and now he was forced to wander through the desert until the tasty aromas from your diner brought him back from his delirium.”

“Or,” Brock interfered, “he had to flee his own wedding because his wife is a real pain in the ass, unlike our sweet Misty,” Brock oohed at his friend. “Forget it, Brock! You and me, this will never happen!” She gave him a gentle poke.

“Enough now with your naïve speculations! Just let him enjoy his drink. We’re closing soon, so get going,” Jessie dismissed their absurd ideas with a wave of her hand, but at this point no one knew how right Brock was.

Dark thoughts hunted the young man. He knew what he would face at home if he was late. Beatings, torture, rebuke, harassment, were just a few words to describe his failed relationship. Unconsciously, he stroked his scarred arms.

“Can I get you something to eat?” Jessie pulled him out of the maelstrom of bad thoughts, of course she had noticed the wounds, but maybe he had gotten those injuries at work. The young man rummaged some coins out of his pants and let them jingle on the table. “Is that enough for a cheese sandwich?” Jessie hated small change, but she would make an exception for him. A friendly smile, a quick nod, and she passed on the order.

“Something’s wrong with this guy,” she whispered to Eddy. “He’s scarred, bruised and pays with penny coins. Possibly a vagrant.” Eddy couldn’t help but grin. “That guy’s been keeping you busy all night, Jess. What’s the matter with you? Are you getting weak?”

The young man could not overhear the conversation between the waiters, but he was sure they were talking about him. He sure made a rather frightening impression, but that was a private matter and not something you shared with a waitress in a diner.

His gaze drifted to the daily paper, which had two faces emblazoned on it: Butch and Cassidy. He had never heard of this odd couple, but according to the news, theses two were causing quite a stir and were terrifying the Strip.

“Oh, so you’ve already spotted them, those two knuckleheads! They keep the Strip in suspense, and heads roll when the taxes don’t add up,” Jessie served him the cheese sandwich and gave him a slight smile.

“Can I get you anything else?” He thanked her and took a hearty bite of his dinner.

The last half hour flew by and the remaining guests left the diner to spend the night on the Strip, as very few had a roof over their heads. Jessie set about cleaning up and Eddy checked the register.

The young man stood up and made his way towards the door. But before he left the diner, he glanced back at Jessie for a moment. A sigh escaped him. What if…?

Jessie returned his gaze and watched him go until the young man disappeared. She walked right up to his table and found a little note on the receipt.

“Thanks for treating me like a human being, James.”

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alreadyblondenow · 4 years

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This is how you broke Jeno’s heart

Lee Jeno x reader //ANGST, smut, fluff?

Themes: college! au, strangers to friends???, popular Jeno, normal student reader, sad ending

Word count: 5k

Summary: He was your lover, and now he’s your professor. Lee Jeno is Valentines day, 2017. Lee Jeno is afternoon golden hour drive, windows open as you let the wind gush into your face. Lee Jeno is burgers during movies on theaters. Lee Jeno is the holy grail and you broke his heart.

Warnings: mentions of other idols, pairing of other idols, swearing, car sex, protected sex, rough sex, slight cheating, sad ending

A/N: I did this in one sitting so I understand if this is not loved. but anyway, this is inspired from true events. And fuck, I was actually getting teary eyed while writing this because I recently found out he’s going to be married so yeah. Enjoy reading another sad story about my love life! Oh I picked Jeno because he looked like Jeno :(

SENIOR YEAR

Three terms before graduating college, finally. Today is the first day of senior year and you’re late for your 7:30am class because of your best friend who doesn’t care about punctuality plus the elevator is taking too long and you’re worried because it’s a class you don’t want to miss because it’s hard to pass. Or so you’ve heard.

“Gosh, first day and were late?” you whine as your best friend hands you a medium sized coffee as a sorry for being late and as thank you for waiting for her.

“Since when did we ever went to class on time? And look at us now, graduating in a few months with good ass portfolio’s” she took a sip from her coffee as you both walk towards the classroom, “I wonder who the professor is” she added but the moment you guys arrived the classroom there were no professor, just waiting students freezing under the high temperature air conditioning of the school.

You removed your jacket and prepared your things on the desk, checking through twitter while you wait for the professor to come and boom.

“Good morning class, sorry I was late but no worries. If you come in late next time, I won’t care just to be fair. Please sign this attendance sheet, pass it around as I prepare for class”

You don’t know if he saw you but you’re sure he’s someone you know and you’re hands are shaking not because of the coffee, but because of the man right in front of the whole class. Your best friend nudge you shoulder, clearly you’re thinking about the same thing. “Are you seeing this?” she whispered beside you, pretending to fix her jacket behind her chair.

“Fuck. I thought It’s just someone who has the same features as him”

Lee Jeno.

Lee Jeno is Valentines day, 2017. Lee Jeno is afternoon golden hour drive, windows open as you let the wind gush into your face. Lee Jeno is burgers during movies on theaters. Lee Jeno is the holy grail and you broke his heart.

Flashbacks kept on coming the whole class hour and it was so hard to concentrate and listen to him while he teaches. His eyes looked at you but you don’t know if he recognise the girl who broke his heart. Maybe the school offered him a job? Or this is a part time job? Dropping the subject was your last chance and only idea to avoid him but doing that can make you not graduate on time. Fuck, you whispered to yourself.

After the class, you hurry on putting your things to your bag but not quick enough to avoid Jeno’s presence. Your best friend left you on purpose because she knew Jeno will not let this opportunity pass and as someone who knew about your history, you two need to talk. Standing beside you with his hands inside his pocket, looking at you as you hurry out the room. “No ‘hi’ or ‘hello’” his face is as handsome as ever. There’s not a day goes by that you don’t regret hurting this amazing guy.

“See you on Thursday, Sir Lee” you smiled like an innocent student and left him on the empty classroom.

FRESHMAN YEAR

Your first year in college is about adapting, adjusting with the surroundings, finding yourself or finding a certain classroom for hours and hours because the school campus is still not familiar to you. College is so different to high school especially when it comes to lunch breaks. Your lunch break is two hour long before a 5 hour brain challenging class. Good thing you have your best friend who knows how to kill time in a fun way.

“I bet your life will change in two minutes, when Lee Jeno finally enter through that door”

“Lee who?” obviously you’ve never heard about that handsome senior your best friend is talking about.

“Jeno” unlike you, your best friend knew every popular student from the higher batch. “There he is. He’s fucking handsome, I can’t believe him”

At first you didn’t want to look back, you just want your best friend to enjoy her eye candy of a crush. The way her eyes turned to heart eyes is amusing alone and you’re satisfied with that. But you are curious. So you figured, why the hell not?

Jeno was sitting with his friends the moment you turned your head towards him. He was smiling and laughing at his friends while he sits so handsome holding his phone. You didn’t notice that you were looking hard and that your best friend is the one making fun of you this time. It’s true what she just said, Lee Jeno will change your life.

“So how popular are we talking about?” you turned your head towards your best friend with a big smile.

“Popular. Girls write love letters to him and put it inside his locker and guess what, those girls knew the combination of his lock. That means girls are crazy for him, literally. Not to mention he’s smart and friends with the other cuties in the campus. Oh! He has a car, and the greatest mystery of all time…” she leaned closer to you, “Jeno and his ex, are not in good terms. And after they broke up before their freshman year ended, he never went out with someone again, he stayed single until now”

“Wasting his good looks and handsome body, and for what? For the right one? Tsk. He’s handsome but stupid” but that doesn’t changed the fact that you actually like him.

Your first year in college turned around, up side down because of Lee Jeno. You fell for him. Hard. But even though you have great feelings for the man, you kept it to yourself. Theres no way you will leave love letters in his locker before he graduates, you’re satisfied that you get to see him during your long hour lunch break and watch him smile everyday.

And as life goes on and Freshman year is almost over, that means Jeno will soon graduate and it’s time to let go of your silly crush and find another one in school. You’re not stupid to cry over a guy you’ve never even had a conversation with, but you’re sad enough that you got teary eyed when you found Jeno’s usual seat in the cafeteria being taken by some random student.

It was the start of Sophomore year and you have different schedules with your best friend. That leaves you alone during your two hour long lunch break. No Jeno. No best friend. Just you and the school’s yummy pasta, alone in table in the middle of the cafeteria full of young bloods.

“Is this seat taken? Sorry everywhere else is full”

Your mouth was full of pasta and you can’t talk or lift your head to see who it is so to avoid humiliating yourself, you signalled, ‘it’s okay. Sure take the seat.’ When you finally chewed and swallowed your food, you almost choke yourself with your own spit because it’s Lee Jeno. Eating the same pasta as yours, in front of you.

“I usually sit with my friends during lunch breaks, but they’re all gone now. Graduated already. Hi, I’m Jeno by the way” he offered his hand for you to shake and smiled handsomely.

“Uh, y/n” you gladly accepted the handshake, but you manage to keep your calm and don’t freak him out. The last thing you want to happen is Lee Jeno thinking that you’re weird. “Aren’t you a Senior? I mean, you’re kind of popular, so I know”

“Yeah. But not everyone knows I have failed a few subjects so, that’s our secret” he held a ‘shh’ gesture and continue eating.

Who would’ve thought that him failing his subjects will draw him straight to your life. It’s not right to be happy that he didn’t get to graduate on time, but you’re glad it happened.

During your time eating with each other face to face, you talked about how silly the school is for giving their students hours and hours of lunch breaks only to torture them with a five hour class afterwards. He asked about your stay here in this college and why did you pick fine arts, you did the same. It was a talk that you never imagined having with Jeno and you’re having a great time. Until those two hours are finally done and you both have to go to your respective classes.

If Cinderella had her time with her prince at the ball, you had your time with your prince in the middle of the cafeteria during lunch. Just like Cinderella, you don’t know if this kind of moment will happen again in your life. It’s not as if you can just leave your shoe and let him find you again, you just left with a smile, thanked him for his time and he thanked you for the seat.

You didn’t know, but Jeno was actually sad and having a hard time. He was having a bad day and he misses his friends, cursing this popularity that he never asked. Now everyone in school will judge him for being a late graduate. On top of that, he’s not used to eating alone and he was pretty worried until he saw you with a vacant seat. He didn’t expect to enjoy your company but boy is he glad he met you today. It’s like meeting you brightened up his mood, now he has something to look forward to during lunch breaks.

On the next day, you don’t want to keep waiting and expect the same thing that happened yesterday happen again today. So you distracted yourself with a movie. And while you’re in deep concentration with the movie while you’re eating your cookies, you saw a hand get a piece and you put on an angry face because who dared doing such a rude-

“Oh Jeno…” you were like a statue when he placed his bag on the chair and brought out some books to work on something, his homework maybe?

“Sorry for the cookie, I’ll buy you another pack after we finish this and after I do this stupid homework” he turned to his books while eating the cookie on his hand.

We. The word made you smile and nod at him, not wanting to disturb him while he studies. You figured maybe comparing yourself with Cinderella was wrong because your prince didn’t need a shoe for him to come find you.

After that second interaction with Jeno… A third happened, fourth, fifth, and so on and so forth. He depended on your great company to save him from his own sadness and heavy thoughts because being an irregular student makes him lonely and whenever he remembers not graduating with his friends makes him sad plenty.

You two spend lunch breaks together everyday and talk about everything and anything under the sun, talking about each other’s interests, laughing loudly at each other’s jokes like you’ve been friends for years and years already. In other words, you and your college crush became good friends. Maybe if you’re not destined to be lovers, you two are bound to be good college friends.

“Hey do you want to go for a drive?” the question made your heart beat fast because it’s a drive with Jeno were talking about here. You do have one last class for the day but, no one will die if you miss it just this once.

“Sure” you smiled wildly to his offer and you two made your way to the school’s parking lot.

The drive was something you will never forget because you’re with Jeno. Simple as that. The sun hits his face perfectly while his eyes are fixed on the road and you feel the wind slapping your face because he’s driving a little too fast to make it exciting and fun. He went to a drive thru and bought burgers for the two of you and eat it inside the car in the middle of an empty parking lot somewhere.

To Jeno, that drive was the proof that he’s falling for you hard. But it’s also a proof that he’s scared of loosing you once you knew about his hidden feelings. He shrugged it off and focused to the way you ate your hamburger that makes him smile but when you ask for his hamburger because you’re still hungry, it makes him happy.

That drive sparked something between you two. It’s obvious that he likes you and you’re not stupid to not see it, he’s just not saying it yet because maybe he’s waiting for the perfect time or assurance. No one knows.

As for you feelings, let’s just say you don’t know what you want. You’re still convinced that Jeno is destined to be a great friend and not as someone who’m you can love. But since he’s been your crush, your heart still beats for him.

“Did you know that a lot of girls are crazy about you? And that they can open your locker?”

Jeno let out a loud laugh that echoes inside his car, “I know about the locker, but that locker is not just mine. It’s Haechan’s, Mark’s and Renjun’s and mine. So every time theres a letter we don’t know how to feel about it”

“Oh my, good thing I never sent you one” you laughed to yourself too.

“So you’re one of those girls? You crazy about me too?” heat creeps around your body and suddenly you avoid his eyes, “You are…” he pretends to be shocked.

“Calm down, I used to be like those girls. Okay, you can stop teasing me” you shook your head on disbelief because this is not how you imagined telling Jeno that you used to have a crush on him.

“I think you’re cute and I’m not embarrassed to tell you that so you shouldn’t be embarrassed on admitting that you used to have a crush on me” to Jeno, that’s only half true. Because he doesn’t only think that you’re cute, he thinks you’re also beautiful and he likes you. Very much.

Since the day you two became incredibly close, you realised that you’re not romantically meant to be together. But you can see him fall for you each day that passes and you hate the timing of your lives even more each day for doing this to you and Jeno. It’s like fate was playing with your feelings.

As days go by, you notice Jeno is acting a little weird towards you. Little did you know, after that drive he confirmed to himself that he likes you and not just as friend. And because of that, he’s taking baby steps on turning your friendship into something more romantic.

Come Valentines day, you didn’t expect something special to happen this day because you’re single and no one in school is interested in you. But you’re wrong. Lee Jeno has something up his sleeve and he caught off guard. For the first time in your life someone gave you a Valentine card, a box of expensive chocolates, and a red rose. All that Valentines shit couples give out during this day.

And it made you crazy happy that Jeno actually thought he has a chance with you.

“Wow. From Lee Jeno” you read his Valentine card and blush like crazy in front of him at the school cafeteria. It did made you happy, for some time. For a moment you forgot that Jeno is a god, who gave you Valentine goodies in front of a lot of students who knew him. And that’s how people in school knew about you and Jeno. Rumours spread like wild fire, you started getting hate message all over social media from those crazy girls. Everyone thought you’re just that Sophomore friend of Jeno and they didn’t expect that Jeno will like you.

‘Find someone prettier’

‘Her vs. your ex… definitely your ex’

‘You deserve someone better’

All those hurtful words got the best of you and it made you small. But even though you got hurt, you figured they’re just jealous of you and you won’t let them ruin your friendship with Jeno.

Given the fact that he’s being confident with showing his feelings for you, and to be fair and to be completely nice, you just let him do his thing without hurting his feelings. If he wants to text you good morning messages and send you subtle but sweet phrases, you let him. If he wants to sit beside you during lunch breaks and not on his usual seat across you, so be it. If he insist on waiting for you after class and drive you home, you accept it. These are the things that you imagine him doing to you during freshman year but now that it’s actually happening, you feel weird about it.

Finally he asked you out on a date. Which you turned down because you have school stuff to finish and he completely understands it. And then he asked you out again, and you had to turn him down again. Because you really don’t want to go on a date with him.

“I think I’m doing something wrong?” he drinks his fourth bottle of beer while his friends listens to everything he says. Seeing the Lee Jeno so broken and frustrated like this is new to them. Turns out, you’re the only girl he’s interested with after being single for almost four years.

“Give her time that’s my say, maybe you’re intimidating her at some point and she’s not into popular guys” Mark pats Jeno’s shoulder and clinks his bottle of beer with Jeno’s.

“Any word from her best friend?” Jeno asks, and Mark shook his head none. Your best friend and Mark Lee have been dating for some time now and that officially put both of your names into the hall of fame. And a possible target of the crazy girls who are head over heels for Jeno and Mark.

Jeno didn’t understand why. It’s not that he’s so full of himself that he’s so confident that he can win you with his charms, but theres something different about you that even though it’s obvious that you only love him as a friend, he kept on pushing and pushing. And he wanted to do it until he can finally call you his.

Now that Jeno is busy being an intern outside school, you no longer see each other everyday and talk to each other like how you usually do. That’s how you met Hendery. Unlike you and Jeno who started off being friends, you and Hendery started off being sweethearts. And maybe that’s what went wrong between you and Jeno because you completely remember that you still have feelings for him the moment he ate one of your cookie, then your feelings slowly fade away each day you two meet.

You told Jeno all about Hendery through one of your calls before going to sleep simply because you don’t want him to find out from other people. “He’s a great guy, we went on a date yesterday after school”

“Two weeks with this guy and he can get you on a date? Wow” Jeno is broken, “I’m with you for over six months already and I asked you to go on a date with me twice…. you never said yes” the hurt from his voice is obvious and your heart is breaking because you didn’t mean to hurt him, you just wanted to be honest.

After that call, you and Jeno did not talked to each other. You wanted so bad to talk to him but you’re scared that he’ll get the wrong memo and that he will think that he still stand a chance. So yet let him be and you let him come to you and you focus on Hendery.

A few weeks after, you saw a picture of Yeeun and Jeno on one of his social media accounts having a romantic date somewhere. Complete with wine and candles. You’re jealous and theres no way you can cover it up.

“Is this some kind of joke?” you exclaimed over the phone to your best friend, mad and angry about what you just saw.

“He’s moving on give him a break. Besides I thought you don’t have feelings for him?”

“I don’t I’m just… offended because he’s completely doing this on purpose because of Hendery which is so childish! Oh my g- I can’t… ugh!” you continue to shout and scream over the phone but your best friend is in the middle of having sex with Mark so you can’t talk to her well.

Being jealous is a proof that you have feelings for him still. And you can’t give in to that because going back to Jeno will hurt Hendery, so you have to be smart and weigh things over. If Jeno ask you out on a date for the last time before being official with Hendery, you will give him a chance. But if not, that will be the end of it.

As days go by, Hendery has been going full out on showing how much he likes you and you come to the realization that you actually love Hendery already. Jeno on the other hand, haven’t talked to you since then, no hi or hello. And the thought of Jeno is the only thing that’s stopping you from making it official with Hendery. Of course you feel bad, it feels like you’re cheating on him. And to be completely honest, you’re growing tired of this push and pull with Jeno.

You were eating your favorite pasta alone while you catch up with some readings for your last class for the day when a fine young man sat in front of you. “Did you just saved me a seat?” one glance of his perfect smile made your anger vanished out of thin air.

“Yeah I kept it empty until you come back” you were happy to see him, it feels like those days when everything was still okay between you and him. No drama just you and Jeno and your own little world.

“Want to go for a drive?” he raised his eyebrows twice, luring you to miss another class for a drive with him. And because you miss him so bad, the next thing you know you’re watching a scary movie with burgers on your hands sitting closely with each other. His warmth is enough to make you feel safe and not scared with the movie and when the burgers are all finished, your hands are intertwined unconsciously.

You were both quiet when you got back to his car because of the movie you just watched. Both too scared and weirded out with how the story ended. “At least they died together”

“Yeah” you agreed immediately but you two stayed quiet.

“Did you know that you were holding my hand?”

You snap your head and looked at him, shy to answer what he asked you but theres no escape and you can’t make an excuse. “Yeah, sorry about tha-“

He’s quick to to grab your hand and hold it firmly you feel like your bones are starting to crush. It hurts but there’s no words coming out from your mouth. He made you face him with his free hand and leaned towards your face to kiss you. Just a peck as if he’s testing waters.

Then you kissed him back. And the kiss became heated that he pulled you close to him and invited you to sit on his lap, legs on the driver’s seat, his arms around your waist and yours is looking for something you can grasp because his kisses are intense.

“Why can’t you love me? Huh?” you see the hurt in his eyes when you peek in between kisses and you felt guilty. Tears run down to his face but you don’t know if it’s tears of joy or out of sadness.

“Jeno, please stop crying” you beg, breathing hard and gasping. But he never stopped.

“Say you love me” his hug against your waist tightens more as if he never wanted you leave his car, “say you love me, please” he sobs.

His begging made you do it, “I love you. Please stop crying, you don’t deserve this”

Hearing those words made him relax and loosen up his crushing embrace. His hand creeps to the hem of your shirt, playing with your tummy tickling it because he knows you’re ticklish. That changed the mood, he undid your pants and made some space so you can remove it easily. He did the same thing with his pants and boxer briefs and reached for the console to get a condom which he quickly rolled to his cock before you get back on top of him.

He motions you back close to him and put a little spit on his fingers before playing with your slit, checking if you’re ready to be fucked. “You’re not a virgin right? I don’t have to be careful anymore” he asked with ragged breath, obviously excited for what’s going to happen.

“Be gentle, still. It’s been so long since my last” you positioned your legs in between him, letting his cock tease your cunt and spread your juices more.

“Wheres the fun on being gentle? But don’t worry, I love you too much I wont let you get hurt”

You slowly sink down on him feeling his thick and veiny cock and rolled your hips slightly to help you adjust more and so you can have rough sex, just how wants. “Ah- Jen if I roll my hips longer I will cum” he chuckled and took over, thrusting hard upwards your cunt. One hard thrust at a time, you feel your head bump on top of the car roof your hands push on the windows for support. Then his thrusts became faster putting you two on edge in no time. You were moaning and letting out sharp breaths in between curses so he pulled your face closer to him and kissed you while he fucks you to your orgasm and while he catches his own.

The car smelled like sex and you were both too weak to move after cumming. It started raining hard and you feel awfully comfortable sitting on Jeno’s lap. “Just so you know, I didn’t planned for this to happen”

“I know” with all your strength you made yourself presentable again and went back to your seat and waited for Jeno to drive you home.

The rain was making you feel more sad and guilty, swimming with your thoughts while thinking about Hendery. That’s why you didn’t hear Jeno ask you is you if you were cold he needed to reach for your hand while he was driving under the strong rain and flinch because of his cold hands.

“Sorry, what” you crossed your arms so he can’t reach for your hand again. Your mind is full of Hendery and you and can’t tell him that.

Jeno on the other hand knew something is wrong that you feel guilty or mad because of the sex. But he wants to be selfish just this once to prove to you that he loves you and this is the only way. “Nothing, I asked if you were cold”

Sex never felt so wrong.

When you came home you took a shower and cried for hours, avoiding Jeno’s calls and messages because you feel bad about what happened. You don’t know what to do but you can’t tell Hendery what happened, so you did something to ease the guilt that you’re feeling. You finally made it official with Hendery, your heart broke even more when you heard him so happy through the phone because that only means he loves you too much.

Then there’s you. Having sex with a friend who’m you used to have a big crush with.

You avoided Jeno with all your power until he gets the message that you feel bad about what happened between the two of you. Until the day the that you’re ready to face him again, you will not talk to him.

And that’s how you broke Lee Jeno’s heart.

SENIOR YEAR

What happened between you and Jeno flashbacks like a movie in your head during lunch break and you can’t believe that you can feel his presence around the campus even though you can’t see him.

It’s been seven ugly months when you and Hendery broke up and you have to admit that it still hurt like hell. Cheating motherfucker didn’t deserve you. The regret of choosing Hendery over Jeno haunted you everyday but you didn’t expect that Jeno will literally comeback barging into your life again.

Maybe this time life will give you a shot at the love you deserve. And Jeno is the answer to that. But it’s been years since the last time you talked and that was the night you two had sex in his car. What you did to him was unforgivable and you feel bad, you feel like you used him but you didn’t mean it if that makes sense.

“Mark is here, you sure you don’t need a ride?” your best friend brought you back to reality while you were swimming in thoughts. You didn’t even notice it was raining hard already.

“I’ll be fine. I can just call an Uber, tell Mark to drive safe okay?” she hugged you and went towards Mark’s waiting car outside the school lobby. You were just about to book an Uber when someone tapped you on your shoulder.

“Come on I’ll drive you home. Just like old times”

“You do know that a student-teacher relationship is jail time right? This is not old times Jeno. You’re a teacher, a professor rather. And I’m still obviously a student” you turned your back on him and continued fidgeting on your phone.

“And I’m being a responsible adult, who’s offering help to a student that’s obviously in need because your phone just died on you” he smirked.

“Fine wheres your car” you said, accepting defeat.

“Right this way please” he ushered you to the elevator to go to the basement parking.

While walking to his car, you didn’t expect him to still have the car. The car where you two had sex. And that is the main reason why you didn’t want him to drive you home.

The rain caused a heavy traffic and it made you feel more suffocated inside Jeno’s car. You cross your arms because you were freezing, clinging to your thin sweater for more heat.

“Don’t worry, I won’t touch you. Please relax, you’re breaking my heart”

Your head swing towards him and you gave him a look. A look that’s telling him you’re angry and how dare him to mention your past. It was so hard not to talk back because it can end up as a fight so you kept what you’re feeling to yourself.

“You make me feel like I’m a bad person when all I ever cared about is you and loving you” he added.

“Please Jeno, don’t do this now” you beg, closing your eyes and turning your back against him looking at the cars outside.

“After that night you made me feel like I’m a rapist or something. I’m sorry that it’s not what you want to do that time, I’m sorry that I begged, Im so-“

“I forgive you. And you don’t have to say sorry because I was the one who hurt you Jeno. Not the other way around, so please understand how hard it it for me to sit with you in this car. To make you feel better I regret not choosing you. There! I said it. Now please shut up”

The ride became quiet, awkward and cold so you decided to sleep if off. When you woke up from your nap, you and Jeno are in front of your house already and he’s waiting for you to wake up. His jacket is on your lap cover your freezing legs and he even turned off the air conditioning so you won’t shiver. It was a kind gesture you admit, and he’s still Lee Jeno who cared for you. Your friend. Even though you hurt him so many times and that makes you a heartless person still, you care for him. “Thank you. And I’m sorry about earlier”

“I’m getting married” he finally blurted out.

You didn’t know. You didn’t even know that he was seeing someone “And… I’m happy for you…” what he said got you speechless and you felt your heart broke even more.

“But I recently found out through Mark that you and Hendery are over… And I started to have seconds thoughts Y/n”

MAIN MASTERLIST

Story time

Is it wrong to admit that everything inside this fic happened to me in real life? hahahaha Except to the part where he’s having second thoughts.

So yeah the story goes like that I picked someone new over my crush who’m I became good friends with and that is that. hahahaha I recently found out that he’s getting married to girl, after me. And I couldn’t help but think that WHAT IF I chose him, it could have been my wedding. :((((((((((((( oh and yeah. he looked like Jeno.

#nct-writers #nct smut #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct dream smut #jeno x reader #lee jeno x reader #nct jeno x reader #jeno smut #nct jeno smut #nct lee jeno smut #nct angst #nct jeno angst #jeno angst

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globophobicligyrophobiccontent · 3 years

Text

MLP Eg Fanfiction: We can still party

By: Sannaturek at AO3

April is almost near again.

Wow, he really can't believe another full year of life is here again. And within weeks from his birthday, Snail can't avoid feeling happy, and scared...

As normal, a certain happy pink girl wants to throw Snails a birthday party at the park near Canterlot High. She usually does this for everyone, every year.

Usually this wouldn't be a problem, who wouldn't enjoy a good birtyday with friends, food, color and music? Snails didn't.

The social pressure for that day was big for him, since Snails wasn't exactly a fan of attention. Also, BALLOONS.

This was something he didn't tell anyone, even his best friend, Snips. But, balloons? Why would someone ever be scared of balloons? I tell you why, from Snails perspective, those weren't the nice party decorations and toy that everybody see. Oh no, balloons are something straight up from hell, noisy, squeaky and even worse, explosive demons.

The mere presence of balloons at his visual range put him in alert mode, waiting there and never knowing when those demons in disguise will pop loudly and unexpectedly. He just couldn't handle the noise and surprise.

Someone like him, who a time ago worked for someone as important as Sunset Shimmer, couldn't get the privilege of being scared of something as pitiful as a balloon. Also, the fact of being scared of it was not meaningful enough. Snails think you would (and should) laugh at him for that, that it's ok if you do. So he just pretend everyone is ok, every time, every year.

And with some like Pinkie Pie at you school, evade them isn't as easy as pie as can be sometimes.

He himself sometimes fell like the pressure it's at it's limits and wants to tell someone, but he's not in the mood for people to laugh at his fear, and with something as silly as a balloon. Years lf pressure just accumulated inside him.

Maybe someday, someone will know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

*After school, in the corridors*

*Snips: Hey dude, that important day is coming sooooon! How do you feel about it? I'm already looking for another perfect gift this year.

-Snails: Hey, you are right, thanks for that! But, well, fine I guess...

*S: Hey my guy, are you ok now? Every year since I knew you it's the same with you and feeling down. It's the seasonal flu taking you down this days?

-S: No! Of course no, I'm not, I'm completely fine! Whatdoyoumean?

*S: We should talk to Pinkie so she gets time to get everything ready and starts party planning. Where do you feel like doing your birthday this time? Last year near the lake was amazing! And now the field at the park near the school it's pretty and it's big, so we can get good places, but Pinkie should know better and(...)

As soon as Snails heard 'Pinkie' and 'Party Planing' his mind got down the clouds and reacts clear and loud (With a nervous touch on his voice)

-S: No! I mean, n-no, I thinks it's kinda early to get ready, and I want something small this year. I know Pinkie isn't that kind of p-party planner but we- I! I can make it work...

*S: Ok, if you feel like that... Heeey... Your voice is weird, are you stuttering? It's everything ok up there? *Snips says and point to Snails head*

-S: Y-yes! Everything is fine all right! *He says while walking slower and straighting up his gaze*.

*S: Dude, friend, guy, Snails, I know I usually not the type of person to tell you this, but if you feel bad inside, don't doubt to tell me, I'm your best friend, the cream to your berry, the flesh of your nail, the, the, well you know. The point is that we are friends since like, forever! There's nothing I can't do for you and I'll be there when something is wrong.

For a moment as he heard this words, Snails felt a little relief in his body, now moving a little faster, enough to catch up Snips.

-S: Thanks Snips, actually I really needed to hear that...

*S: It's nothing... Heeeeey why frown faces? Wanna go eat something now? I heard of a new sandwich place near here!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Snails didn't even noticed how 2 weeks flew by, and he was a day away from his birthday. The only important things about his birthday that he remembered from it('Cause he most part of the time, the anxiety of thinking about his party, people and the balloons made him dissociate) was thas Pinkie asking him for cake flavors (He answer dark chocolate and strawberries), a theme for the party(As normal, Spring Days) and the decorations(This wasn't a lot in discussion since we know the Pinkie Style, but she just wants to be sure the day is perfect for everyone).

Snails didn't told anyone about the balloons yet, since just thinking about it makes him dizzy. But when he got out of his classroom during lunch, he saw Pinkie carrying balloons to an all purpose classroom that wasn't being used. He got light headed just from seeing that, knowing what's coming tomorrow. So he and Snips ended up eating too little near the windows, in a table that nobody usually uses because it's far from the other table's at the cafeteria.

Snips knew now that something it's not ok now, because Snails only ask to eat in that table just when he feels bad or sick in some way and want to get away from people. Snips didn't want to bother Snails since felt that he already was having a hard time, so he didn't say anything during lunch.

At the end of the classes, Snail saw Pinkie Pie near the auditorium with her friends, she was waving very fast at him, clearly saying hi and wanting him to notice. He nervously waved and said hi, then rapidly proceed to go away, almost running to the entrance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night, as every night before, Snails dreamed about how he was bullied in his old school. Classmates popping balloons usually to scare him, leaving him behind, and no adult doing anything to stop it. Even Snips was there, just saying how lame he was.

In that moment, his phone sounds an alarm and wakes him up. Clearing out his eyes and drinking a glass of water, he saw the calendar, April 12, his birthday. Ok, he clears his mind for today. His parents made him breakfast, and give him a gift, the jacket that he wanted! Amazing!

The day at school goes as every year, everyone saying happy birthday, some people and even teachers giving little gifts, and even his classroom was decorated with green streamers, his favorite color. For now he didn't saw any balloons, so he was pretty calm.

As usual, at lunch, Pinkie Pie get up and says:

-P: HEY EVERYBODY, LET'S SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO A VERY SPECIAL PERSON TODAY! AND WISH OUR FRIEND SNAILS A VERY HAPPY DAY!

Everyone sings happy and Snails it's just flustered from all the attention, even a little tired, but he knows the intentions are the best, so he puts on his best happy face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the end of the classes, as usual in a birthday, Pinkie goes to talk to Snail.

-P: Hey birthday boooy! How was everything going?! I hope great because now it's just time to get better!

As he laughed, he noticed Snips wasn't with them anymore, and before hes can ask something, Pinkie blindfolds him, leading them to as he can feel, grassy, windy terrain. When Pinkie stops and get the green fabric out of his eyes, he sees 'a lot' of people (for him everything it's a lot so don't take his opinion in count)

-¡SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SNAILS! WOHOO! YAAY WOOO!

A desolate part of the park was nicely decorated he saw a lot of friends and classmates that Pinkie probably just invited, Snips was there, with a big box that looks like a gift, there was foods, drinks, a table full of gifts, another with activities to play, and BALLOONS, there weren't a lot, but yes a considerably big number, nothing that he could handle, or that's what he thought....

The party went as usual, just inner interruptions for Snails everytime a balloon popped, because someone accidentally popped it, or the wind put it in a spiky zone. He had to downplayed it saying he had hiccups or something similar. The food and drinks were delicious as always, the gifts were amazing, and even the games were fun, the cake was so tasty, the people invited was giving him proper personal space. It was actually a pretty nice afternoon for Snails.

It was almost time to go.

For a moment, he noticed Pinkie Pie disappeared, making him a little anxious. But when she came back, a chill ran down his spine. Pinkie Pie brought a bag full of inflated balloons, and began to distribute them to everyone there. Snails, reluctantly, picked one of the balloon Pinkie gave him. Faking the best smile he could at this point, he looked at Snips trying to say help me out with his eyes, but Snips was too excited for the games to understand undertones. He was hyperventilating and sweating like crazy at this point, but nobody noticed with all the voices talking and sounds of the exterior. He felt like crying, but he wasn't going to demonstrate weakness in front of his best friends, and not in his birthday, not for some stupid balloons.

-P: Ok everybody, last new game here! I gave everyone of you a balloon! Inside every balloons there's tiny paper with a number! When I say go, you can pop your balloons and check wich numbers you get! Then before you leave, look at the table over there and check with prize you got! I hope you have fun with this one!

Now making weird faces of disgustand fear, and with his legs shaking, Snails took some steps back before everything started. Snips noticed it and tried to follow him, but at the moment he moved, Pinkie gave the signal:

-P: OK EVERYONE! START! YOU CAN POP THE BALLOONS!

*POP*pop*Pop* *poP*pop*Pop*

Balloon after balloons popping. This never happened to, this new game was like a torture, why? This was never necessary, why now? Why at HIS party? He remembered his old school, the inferno was here again. It was too much for Snail to take. The people, the sudden noise, the commotion. His heart was almost running away, the pops keep going as some people struggles. Snails starts to hyperventilate, sweaty, and feels dizzy again, but a different type of dizzy.

*S: Snails? Everything fine? Hey are you ok? You are not popping your balloon *Pop* (Snips pop his balloons)

Snails can't do it anymore, his eyes got black, he felt light, he was falling, the last thing he hears it's Pinkie calling his name.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Snails wakes up again, he's sitting in a chair, and Twilight it's checking he's not hurt or anything bad. As she inspects, Snails and Pinkie are by his side, everyone is gone already. "Oh yeah, the party was almost over", it's the thing he first remember.

-Twi: It's ok guys, he's completely fine. I'm pretty sure this was just a panic attack, nothing else, but I will stay a little more just in case. Just talk a little down until he gets better, can you try, Pikie?

-P: Heeeey buddy, it's everything ok? You got me really scared right there...

*S: Snails! You're ok again(!) What was that? Do you feel fine? You scared us everyone there.

-S: Y~yeah, I'm fine, I don't know what happened...

While inspecting the surroundings with the eyes, he notices the green balloon Pinkie gave him in the game, at the table with his gifts, looking a little more and, he noticed there were some balloons attached to his chair. At the mere sight of this, Snails gets another shiver, and gets a gulp of saliva. Even when he tries to fake it, Twilight noticed it.

-Twi: I think I have and theory, but I think it's better that Snails tells you...

As Twilight says that, the three of them look at Snails. We sll think it's time for the revelation, he thinks.

-S: I-I really feel ashamed to say this, and even worse now that I ruined my party...

-P: No no no, don't say that, anything was ruined, the party was ending anyways, but if you feel like theres something to tell us, it's up to you buddy. I just want to evade you from hurting again. But if you don't wanna tell us it's completely fine and valid...

*S: Snails, remember what I told you two weeks ago, I'm your best friend, and I'll do anything for you, you can tell me everything and if you feel like having a secret, it's ok! But remember, me and Pinkie will do anything to make sure you are having a great time... We will listen...

-S: Ok, I guess this is for the best of everyone. Even when it sounds ridiculous, I hope this helps... I'm, kinda, well, mot kinda, very very scared, afraid of .... balloons...

Pinkie and Snips look at each other for a moment, then look at the chair, and the at Twilight, and when the two understand, said "Oooooooh" at unison. After that they let Snails talk again.

-S: It's just, I don't like the noise that they make when they pop, it's loud and unexpected. And I don't like that kind of stuff, makes me feel very nervous. Even when I'm looking at them I'm scared because you never know when a balloon can pop, and, and... Ok I think I talked enough, if you feel like laughing it's ok and I understand it, even I would laugh of myself... I feel so stupid and ashamed for this, I'm sorry I should...

Pinkie gives Snails a second to let his tears flow, she can see how Snails was keeping this up for himself for a long time, he didn't hsve anyone to vent his feelings. Snips gives Snails a paper napkin to clean the tears. When he calms down, the friends talk again.

-P: So, that's it? You are scared of balloons? I know you might find this weird coming from me, but it's completely fine! Your feeling are completely normal little dude! You don't have to be ashamed of everything, it's completely ok to have fears, even when we thought they're ridiculous. You should have told me before! Ooh geez I'm the one that should be apologizing! I'm the one who always plans this parties! I'm so sorry I didn't know! An I didn't take you in count. I'm sorry Snails! Accept my apologies, no more balloons in the parties I know you will be! Oh and I'm sorry for the "special" chair...

-S: You don't have anything to apologize for, Pinkie, you didn't know a I didn't told you, I'm the one who's sorry. And thanks for your statement, it make me feel more comfortable now.

*S: And with me, you think that I would make fun of you because of that? I'm your friend, I'm gonna understand you and be with you at the best and the worst, I'm not making fun of you for anything, it's ok to have fears. To make you feel better, I also have some silly fears, like high places or bears! You see, we can trust each other as always!

-S: Well, I guess we can do it, thanks for sharing that with me.

As they were talking, Twilight step into the conversation.

-Twi: I know it's very soon, but when you feel confident enough, you can let me know so I can put a little bit of my knowledge at work. You can let me know your feelings, and if you feel like it, a step by step exposure therapy. It may not cure you, but I can assure you that you'll not faint in another event. Like a little counselor program.

-S: Yeah, that sounds great, thanks, thanks to everyone for help me out. But, can we keep this a secret for now? I'm still not comfortable with people knowing this..

"Of course, yeah!" The three says.

After that, they help Snails with his gifts and Snips goes with him to assure he gets home safely.

Snails sleeps that night with much less nightmared he usually have this day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3 months later, in one of the celebrations of Canterlot High, theres balloons almost everywhere, classrooms, corridors, cafeteria, etc. And it's almost time for lunch.

*S: Aaand, usually I don't ask this, but, how's everything going with Twilight? It's working?

-S: Yes, I'm feeling a lot better now, and we are making progress and-

*pop* (He hears a balloon popping near, but start shaking again)

*S: It's ok dude, you got this, you got us.

-S: Thanks Snips.

#afraid of balloons #balloons #fear of balloons #globophobia #ligyrophobia #mlp eqg #mlpegfanfic #mlp fanfic #mlp equestria girls #first fanfic #my little pony #equestria girls #MLP snail #mlp snips #snips and snails

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thestorybrookeclocktower · 3 years

Text

I’ve been abused. This is the first time I admit it to myself.

I’ve been abused several times, psychologically, mostly, but also phisically and sexually. It’s hard to admit it. It’s been harder to realize it.

I was an abused child. Before I dig into it, I’d like to point out that I’m managing to do this only thanks to She-Ra, to Catra, in particular, to Adora, and to this video: https://youtu.be/arsKPegw1Tg . So thank you, Noelle Stevenson, and thank you, whoever made that video.

I’m frightened, right now. I’m scared as fuck. I think I don’t know myself, I think I never did. But I must go on, I must find out who I really am. I owe it to myself. I’ve been hiding for too long.

I was an abused child, and I have to write it down because my mind keeps escaping that. It’s hard to stay focused, and that never happens to me, I’m a writer, when I write I’m concentrated, focused, but now... now it seems like my brain’s floating away. And I can’t let it do it.

My parents divorced when I was two or three years old, I’m not sure about it. I clearly remember the day my father went away, the door slamming, my mom crying and myself trying to reassure her, telling her I was there, she had notHing to worry about. I was always way older than my age.

After that, I guess (my memories are a bit confused in the timeline), my grandmother (so I was told) convinced my father to build a wall during the night in the middle of our house to split it in two. I remember waking up and finding this rough, grey wall. My mom lied and told me there had been a earthquake and that the wall fell down. I didn’t know how a collapsed wall would look like, and believed her. My father left us without a kitchen. As I said, I was two or three years old. Thinking about it now, it hurts me to think of how hard it must have been for my mother to face all of this. My father used to beat her, when they were together. She told me that he broke her cranium, once. I cant remember it, I don’t even know if I ever witnessed when it happened. But still.

Later, my mother fell in love with the man who became my step-father. He was our neighbor, they worked together so they already knew each other.

My father disappeared for two years. I spent one year living with my grandparents in another city, because my mother worked and wasn’t home for days, so che couldn’t leave me alone all that time. I remember missing her, and nothing more.

Then, I remember growing up with my mother’s partner trying to be a father. He couldn’t. He was mean to me. His idea of education was based on yells and threats. He continuously told me that I wasn’t his daughter, that I was nothing, that I was worth nothing.

I also remember that I wanted to be hurt. I wanted to hurt myself and, in my fantasies, when I played alone in my room or in the garden, I imagined my “enemies” kidnapping me and me sacrificing to save my friends. That thing lasted. I would always want to sacrifice to save someone I cared about, but who didn’t care about me as much as I did. I still have to understand why. I just need some time, I guess. After all, I just found out I have wounds.

We moved. My father came back, at some point. He started sending the police at our new home, accusing my mother of child abuse, I guess, and trying to claim me as if I was some kind of property. I guess I started feeling like an object when I spent my weekends and summer or winter vacations with him. He had the right to spend time with me, I didn’t have the right to choose. I don’t think he never treated me bad, he was simply unable to be a good father. He just left me with his friends’ children to play. I had fun with them, anyway. I always insisted to be the victim in our playtime, though. Something bad would always happen to my character. I often played the villain (they were happy with it, none ever wanted to be the villain but me), but my villain always had a reason, a past, a complicated story that led them to the dark side.

I guess I was never really happy. There was always this shadow, this weight on my soul. I still can’t name it. I only know it’s there, but it’s lighter today. Maybe because I see it for the first time.

When I went to middle school, I was depressed. I kept saying “we’ll die anyway, what changes if I do or I don’t do this?”. I also developed a passion for swords and daggers. I always read a lot, especially fantasy books, so I guess it was just natural that I started loving blade weapons.

I also felt guilty for continuously feeling sad. I thought I didn’t really have a reason. My family had money, I went to holiday four times per year instead than just twice, everything I asked they would just buy it to me. But my stepfather would always rub it in. He made me feel like I owed him everything I had, because he was the one who paid the bills. He is an alcoholic. He freaks out every time he gets drunk, and he starts drinking at ten a.m.. He would walk naked at home. I was way too young to see a naked man when it happened the first time. He also spied on me when I was in my room, so I was always anxious that he was watching me and could never relax.

I wasn’t good at school, I only liked mathematics but was terrible at all the rest. I just couldn’t concentrate, and now I know that I had locked myself in my fantasies, in another world, where I was strong, powerful, where I was happy. No, no, sorry. I’m lying to myself again. It didn’t go this way, actually. I locked myself in another world, it’s true, but that world was horrible. I was becoming a teenager and I started watching Buffy, so I was pretty obsessed by vampires at the time, and also I was starting to realize what sexual desire is. The thing is, in my fantasy I was powerful, yes, I was strong, but I was always defeated. I would get captured by this beautiful vampire woman who would torture me to death and then turn me into something different, with magic. I would become her sexual slave. I fell in love with her, in my mind, and I would submit to her. It’s embarrassing to admit it, yeah, it sucks, it’s rape, torture and Stockholm syndrome. But that’s the truth. As I said, I wanted to be hurt.

Also, despite this I never admitted to myself I liked girls. I didn’t even consider it as a possibility, I told myself I was in love with Angel (surprise, with the bad guy trying to redeem himself! Who would have thought that?).

At the same time, my mom got a bad self-immune disease and lost her job. Also, in the same years, one of the teacher at school started targeting me. I was shy and insecure and she would take advantage of it and humiliate me in front of everyone. She seriously damaged me, my self-confidence (as if I had any), and my stepfather made it only worse. I got bad grades from her (even when I was prepared I was so anxious that I couldn’t speak when she questioned me) and he got angry and yelled at me that I was stupid, that I was unable to do anything, that I was an imbecile and that I was worth nothing. Once he threw a school book at me and broke my lip.

My mother tried to comfort me, but I always hid what I was feeling. I was really, really depressed. So much that one day I grabbed one of my collectible daggers and aimed it at my stomach, and I pushed. I wanted to die. I wanted it to end. And I wanted a slow, painful death.

But I stopped. I didn’t even get a scratch, not because I changed my mind, not because I couldn’t find the “bravery” to kill myself, but because I didn’t want to hurt my mom. I knew she would be devastated if I died, and that is the only reason why I didn’t push harder. She still doesn’t know about all of this.

I guess I made myself a promise, that day: I’d be stronger. And it was a mistake, because I locked the doors of my heart doing so.

Years passed by. I learned Kung-Fu, I made some friends, just a few, lost others, this is not the point. They didn’t abuse me.

I started dating guys. Older boys, usually, and I convinced myself I was in love with them. One touched me without asking my permission, and I didn’t stop him. I was so stupid... gah. I wanted people to like me so much that I pretended to be like them. I told them I liked music I didn’t like, stuff like that. Silly, silly young me. I was lost and I didn’t know it.

Other years, more boys. I’m pretty, and I know it, and I used it to flirt with basically any guy I found. Shame on me, I know. I only kissed them. After all, I wasn’t even attracted by them. I liked girls, even if I didn’t want to accept it. I was already different, I didn’t want to be even more isolated.

I also spent a lot of time online chatting and gaming. I used to play to this online role play game by chat, I had found the perfect, fake, fantasy world there. My first character was an elf with positive alignment. I stopped playing her because she bored me. My second character was a sociopathic girl, a sadistic villain. I still have that character, even though I don’t play her anymore. I made her torture and try to kill innocent people several times. She was my dark side. I used her to take out my darkest instincts. I’m ashamed of who I was, now. I became a bully for a couple of years, a dangerous person, a mean person. I hate myself for that.

I was in high school and I was a little more equilibrated when this guy I knew since first grade asked me out. I knew he liked me since then, so I thought I had power on him (because that’s why I flirted with guys, I liked the power I had on them). He took me on his minicar and we found ourself in an isolated parking lot. He was never a healthy person. He was unstable since he was a kid, but he had always been kind with me. He was kind and pleasing even that night. And manipulative. And abusive. He used my ever-present sense of guilt, he told me I had to because he took me in his car and drove for me and waited all of those years, and he insisted for maybe half an hour until I gave in (I couldn’t leave the car, we were in a dangerous block and far from home). I had my first and only oral sex experience with a boy. It disgusted me so I stopped after like three seconds, but he forced me to masturbate him, he phisically did pushing my hand on his d*ck. When he came, he also said I wasn’t good at it. He then offered to give back the favour, I refused and asked him to take me home. Two day later I texted him saying it was over. God, this was hard to write. My heart is pumping in my chest. I need some water.

By the way, I was eighteen then and I still hadn’t had sex yet, and I was the only one in my class and between my friends in general. About them, I lost them all along the way. They simply let me down, not repaying everything I did or gave to them in terms of affection, or treating me like shit when I came out, or just disappearing slowly. I have trust issues for this, it’s hard for me to open up to someone now, but I’m trying.

I found this boy at a party, at that point I felt nothing, I was just curious about sex. We started dating. I didn’t like him, I approached him just because I thought his ass looked good. Yeah, how romantic of me. But, as I said, I felt nothing. I didn’t care about him. He fell in love with me, even though I told him many rimes I didn’t love him. I felt nothing for him, or with him, even in bed. Sex was a delusion to me, and I treated him like shit. But still, he would stay. Poor guy.

During those years (yes, we spent four years together somehow), I finally realized I liked girls. Fate brought me to a convention, where I met the love of my life. I ended the relationship with the boy and started my new life with her.

She changed me, a lot. I was a mess when we met. I was rough, selfish, the bad girl I always wanted to be, unable to love, to have a healthy relationship, unable to find the strenght to be vulnerable. She was patient with that broken, confused me, and I’ll never thank her enough for this. I don’t deserve her. She always supports me and shows me how much she loves me everyday. I’m so grateful for her.

I learned to be humble, I learned to be vulnerable, selfless, a decent humang being. I learned to love. I learned to protect her, not (only) myself. I dismantled almost all of my walls. I don’t know if this one I’m tearing down right now is the last one. I do hope so. I’m so tired of those cold walls. Today, I don’t want all these swords and daggers. I don’t need them anymore.

I wish I was strong as Catra and Adora, strong enough to face myself and let myself be happy. Thank you, Noelle, really. I always believed in the power of stories, but I never thought an animated show could give me so much, that I could relate so much to someone (let alone the importance of their relationship on screen for the LGBTQ+ community, it’s a true revolution). I was attracted to Catra since the beginning, I completely fell in love with her during the fifth season, and now I understand the reasons behind it. I just feel her, deeply. And I also deeply admire Adora, her pure soul, her strenght, her bright heart.

Sorry for the long post, sorry if there are any mistakes, English is not my first language. Thank you again.

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z3ld4 · 4 years

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Mercy Me - Part One

Summary: Jacqueline Laymore can’t really tell when it started to hurt to call Spencer her friend. But that didn’t really matter after she got kidnapped. Right now all that matters is getting home and getting Spencer Reid.

Warnings: Angsty? Mentions of self harm, suicidal ideation, death, kidnapping, is catholic guilt a warning? culty vibes, mentions of torture, and a very small mention of rape and gouging one’s eyes out.

Word Count: 1.3k (its a babey for the first part)

A/N: this is one of my first fanfictions on tumblr and in this fandom, so idk be nice or like really mean, criticize me, i don’t really mind. i used to write aphmau fanfiction nothing really hurts at this point. also this is an original female character fic because i for real can not write fic in the y/n format and i’ve had this idea for a while. it took a lot of effort to post this without puking in anxiety first but i hope it goes well ig.

If Jacqueline was going to die right then and there, she would have frankly been pissed. Sitting in the bathtub with blood seeping out of shallow cuts on her thighs would not be a great way to go. It’s especially stupid because they weren’t even new. Jacqueline knew better than to cut in the tub.

Especially since she’d been clean before the incident.

She wondered if that was the time to back up and take a second to think. Think about her wrongdoings.

Of course, Gabriel doesn’t give her the release of death and instead shot himself in the neck. Her eyes, always the worst part of her body, follow the arterial spray as it stains the yellowing ceilings. She almost wants to take the revolver and shoot herself in the head, but that would contaminate the crime scene.

Jacqueline is smarter than that. But the revolver is so close to her. Yet just out of reach.

Everything seems to be just out of reach when you’re kidnapped.

But everything is moot compared to the digging feeling in her stomach telling her that the gun still has five more rounds.

She doesn’t. Of course, there is more to her life than being a martyr for another’s sins. That isn’t what Father Julien said when she was younger, but Father Julian also tried to gouge out her eyes in the town square.

Father Julian did a lot of things, talking about the grace of God wasn’t one of them. But what can you really expect from a man that creates a psychopath? Jacqueline dug the heels of her hands into her eyes, creating swirling patterns behind her eyelids. Phosphenes. She can hear him say it. Spencer always made sure to tell her the weirdest facts he could remember. She can’t remember most of them but sometimes his voice pops up in her head reminding her of them.

A lot of things pop up in Jacqueline’s head these days. She smoothed her hair back with the water on her hands and stepped awkwardly out of the tub. Taking two towels from the rack on the wall, she wrapped up her hair and body. Carefully stepping around Gabriel’s body and blood pool she enters the bedroom. For a cheap motel, it was quite clean. Frankly, it wouldn’t be half bad if the carpet wasn’t a brown color and she didn’t come with the guy who kidnapped her. She dug through Gabriel’s luggage until she found yet another, white cotton sundress. It wasn’t a bad dress, quite pretty in reality. It was the situation that made it the ugliest rag Jacqueline had ever seen. It fell to just below her knees and the bodice fit her waist perfectly, the spaghetti straps dug into her shoulders but it could have been much, much worse.

Jacqueline would have liked the dress in another life. However, Gabriel had a thing for the whole ‘white equals purity’ thing and tortured her in a dress similar to the one she was putting on.

She stopped putting the dress on. Blinking through the tears forming in her line of sight, Jacqueline searches for a shirt and a pair of pants that could maybe fit her. She found Gabriel’s taupe button-up and slipped it over her shoulders, buttoning the front up to the third button. After digging a little more she finds a pair of army green pants, a little too high waisted for such a masculine man but she puts them on. Luckily Gabriel also had a pair of hiking boots which Jacqueline took the shoelace out of and used it as a belt.

The sandals that she wore when out with Gabriel would have to do, though it looked a little silly. Jacqueline took her hair out of the towel and ruffled it up a little, she always hated leaving her thick, wavy hair without product in it but it’s better than brushing it. The bangs brushing against the bridge of her nose are going to make her cry though. She used to hate how she looked in bangs but now, with Gabriel’s praises ringing in her ears, she almost likes the way they frame her face.

Almost.

Jacqueline grabbed Gabriel’s wallet on the way out of their hotel room.

The secretary looked at Jacqueline funny as she checked out. Granted, it was well deserved, Jacqueline looked like a mess of men’s clothing. She also was leaving without Gabriel, which sounded a little unheard of considering he didn’t even let her speak when they checked in.

Jacqueline wanted to call the police so the maid didn’t get a nasty surprise. She didn’t have a phone on her but she walked to the payphone on the street corner and quickly called 911.

“Hi, Hello. Y-yes… I… I need to report a suicide at Maple Leaf Motel, room 3C. My… My p-partner shot himself in the neck!” She wailed into the phone before hanging up. She was always good at faking things. Right now, faking composure seems to be the only thing keeping her sane.

Time to catch a flight to Quantico, Virginia.

Or, more likely, hitchhike. If there was anything Jacqueline had learned in her nine years with the BAU is to not hitchhike. But she had about two hundred and fifty dollars and the clothes on her back. And if anything she could pay for some gas and maybe use the self-defense that Morgan taught her. She knew that from where she was it would be around twenty days by foot. A twenty-hour car ride. And maybe a five-hour flight depending on the airport. The closest 'big' town near Maple Leaf was Lexington.

And deep down, Jacqueline really wanted to take a road trip. Nebraska is quite a pretty state. Though walking would be a little excessive considering she's technically been off for two months already.

The fact that she’d been with Gabriel for two months sent shivers down Jacqueline’s spine. The bureau wouldn't take her vacation days away for being kidnapped but you never really know with the government, do you? She started walking to the library when she realized that she could email Strauss and talk about her job and how fast she can be reinstated. Luckily the library was a few blocks down the street.

"Hello, dear! What can I help you with today?" The elderly woman behind the help desk smiled. Jacqueline figured that they didn't get that many people inside the small library.

Jacqueline forced a smile and walked up to the desk, "Can I use one of the computers? I need to email my boss about my... vacation."

The librarian gives Jacqueline a sugary sweet smile. "May I, Deary," The librarian corrected.

"Right," Jacqueline drawls. The librarian walked her to a clunky old computer and logged on before shoving Jacqueline down into the seat. Jacqueline goes through google to find her email service and quickly write one to Strauss. Strauss responded quickly, a short email reading:

Dear Agent Laymore,

You're thought to be dead. I can not grant you the ability to step into your building for recertification and discussions of reinstating you until you prove otherwise.

Erin Strauss

Jacqueline responded:

Dear Erin,

You're supposed to be nicer to people who are held as a hostage. Anyways, I guess a way to prove my identity would be that I can sing 'On My Own' from Les Mis perfectly, I know you have heard me do it. And that your husband divorced you after he gave you half of his liver due to your liver cirrhosis. You told me this one night when I was crying over my brother killing himself and getting disowned. I am the only person on the current team (I assume, though I'm sure Rossi knows ;D) who has that information on you.

With love,

Dr. Jacqueline Laymore PsyD

Ps. Please don't give my job away because I made a joke.

Erin responded with a very annoyed emailing detailing what they will discuss once Jacqueline reaches Quantico. With a valid ID of course.

Now the hard part, finding someone who wasn't a serial killer to hitchhike with. For at least twenty-four hours. In a car.

Spencer's voice called out in the back of Jacqueline's head, reminding her that there is a 0.0000086% of being killed or raped while hitchhiking.

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reachexceedinggrasp · 4 years

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Fated to Love You here reaffirming my long held conviction that no pure romance drama should be 20+ episodes.

This show is... really something. It is, in the fullest possible sense, A Lot. It starts out as an all-out screwball comedy wrapped around a troperiffic romance fluff plot. Wall to wall clichés, but not in a bad way; in a meta, self-aware, peak performance, finest Velveeta way. And if you’re not familiar with screwball comedy, think ‘light-hearted crack fic with slapstick and farce’. There is nothing believable or grounded about any aspect of it, it starts at Bonkers Level: Platinum and it only climbs higher as it goes on.

(On a side note, this results in the leading man being possibly the most memorable love interest in romcom history. His introduction scene is nothing short of batshit insane and you can't reliably predict how he will respond to anything. I have never seen a main character like this, he is all over the shop and utterly singular. Your first reaction to him is ‘wtf?’, your second and third reactions are ‘really?! this guy??’, your fourth reaction is ‘okay he do be mad hot tho’, your fifth and final reaction is ‘I cannot believe this performance exists, I have no idea what he is doing, but it is amazing.’

Appropriately(?) the actor who plays him is an uncanny Korean doppelgänger of Johnny Depp and- between the resemblance, the mannerisms, and the fearless total commitment to a bold as fuck acting choice with the very serious chops to back it up- I’m not convinced they aren’t half brothers separated at birth.

They do sabotage my happiness several times by starting to randomly style his (long, beautiful) hair very weird, fixing it right when the plot is rapidly circling the drain so he looks his hottest just as the show becomes briefly unwatchable, and then ruining him for the entire second half of the series by shearing it all off. WHY, my anguished cry goes up. Why do you do this?! Why does he have like seven hairstyles over the course of the show? Much later they even briefly give him that ubiquitous Kdrama Second Lead haircut with weirdly forward combed fringe in a solid straight line across the brow all the way back from the crown. It looks terrible on everyone and I hate it so much. This version was less bad than most but it is still bad. Anyway.)

So it’s an incredibly fun time to start but there are some problems with the tone and plot even in the first 9 episodes, including when the lovers start getting along really well right away and they’re both thoroughly decent people so there’s nothing keeping them from having a lovely time together making the best of the circumstances (forced/fake marriage). And, instead of introducing new conflict or advancing one of the dozen conflicts previously established and actually moving forward, there is a painfully contrived rehash of something they already dealt with which is then just never resolved. They make the hero leap to a conclusion his wife is nefarious after he’d already decided once that she isn’t (though it was completely reasonable for him to think she was- the fact that he decided to trust her so quickly just speaks to what kind of person he is), never try to find out more or talk to anyone about it, start pushing her away because of it, and have all this come to absolutely nothing. It only exists so he’ll stop being so incredibly nice to her and they won’t fall in love too fast.

You’d think they would have to eventually clear the air before the romance advances right? No. It wasn’t a real plot point, it was just a reset button to get them estranged and hostile again after they connect over their kindred spirits and we’ve spent a bunch of time showing how profoundly supportive and honourable our hero is. He’s being beautifully mature and selfless because he’s a really good dude (unusual for a romcom drama, right? for the main guy to be nice and considerate? to accept responsibility even if he doesn’t have to? Gun’s weird but he’s wonderful), but the writers need him to be cold and standoffish, so they just make him act like an unreasonable idiot for a while. He’s been thus far hugely proactive and direct and honest about everything, it’s one of his most prominent character traits, but suddenly he’s going to avoid confrontation in favour of being super passive aggressive?? Then the writers never solve it. Never! It just goes away. He got over it, I guess? He decided he doesn’t care if she’s a gold digger who deliberately trapped him? God forbid we have motivations that make sense and organic character drama, right? It's not like he didn't have totally valid reasons to be suspicious that could have led to legitimate conflict our heroine would struggle to vindicate herself from.

But anyway, apart from that kind of lazy bullshit, it’s a fine romance plot with extremely endearing characters who have great chemistry. They are fun and well-rounded and incredibly human despite all the silliness and OTT antics. Their relationship is hugely, hugely engaging and the dynamic is perfect, they really complement each other as characters and organically drive each other's arcs. There's the genuine depth and warmth and quiet pathos so often lacking from this kind of show. Things progress at a semi-reasonable pace. They work up to confessing their mutual feelings and get into some cute shenanigans before making out. It happens soon enough that you are not frustrated, but there's still plenty of build-up. Then- uh oh! We’re only 9 eps in and we have another 11 hours to fill with this fluffy plot!

Time for a bunch of absolute fucking nonsense. Time for our show, which has been so goofy and removed from reality it occasionally resembles a Monty Python skit, which has been so light it asks you to ignore the frankly incredibly fucked up implications of its premise for the sake of comedy (they were both drugged and proxy raped resulting in a pregnancy- the FL was a virgin prior to this and Gun had a girlfriend he wanted to propose to- and it was the FL’s family who did this to them: SUPER FUCKED UP), so farcical that it makes Some Like it Hot look like a gritty crime drama, that show to cover a bunch of serious heavy shit.

First, the rankest of melodrama. The families and the world all turn on our couple, but their love is true and will conquer all- UNTIL, he randomly collapses and gets convenient Soap Opera Amnesia. He’s forgotten their entire relationship and a series of coincidental pieces of misconstrued evidence, the machinations of his scheming ex girlfriend, the Soap Opera Doctor’s advice, and his closest confidants all going along with this conspire to make him believe (AGAIN) that his wife just wants his money.

This whole terrible episode is mercifully brief, but it just gets worse after his memory returns. This is where we get into the Noble Idiocy. The ‘pretend you don’t love them to “save them” from getting hurt by hurting them and making their important life decisions for them as if they don’t have a basic fucking right to decide that themselves’ kind. Which goes on for three FUCK years in the show. He wastes three years of their lives they could have spent together because he’s worried he might die young (in a terrible way) and doesn’t want to put her through that. And, of course, they inevitably get together later, so all he did was make it infinitely worse for her either way. To say nothing of how he thus couldn’t be there for her through the loss of their child. Possibly my most hated fucking trope of all time when done this way.

And, yep, you read that right. This show that has the single most batshit bonkers over the top slapstick I have ever seen in a kdrama, this show has a storyline where the fluffy romcom trope accidental pregnancy ends in massive trauma. Because she was standing around in the street after realising he does remember her (he continued to pretend he had amnesia after his memories came back, it’s all part of the stupid noble idiocy so I glossed over it) and gets hit by a car in the middle of their angst staring.

It is nearly Meet Joe Black levels of hilariously abrupt and incongruous.

so, blah blah, they lose their baby (there’s a very stupid whole thing about her telling everyone to save the baby instead of her- the baby is not far enough along for this to have been remotely viable. She is like 3 months pregnant. They all act like there’s a choice to be made between them and she’s mad at her husband for choosing to save her, but there was NO CHOICE. Either she lives or they both die! ffs I’m so irritated about this) and then he dumps her ~for her own good~~ because he loves her too much to make her go through losing him? So she loses him sooner?? right after their baby died???

Why do people in these stories always think being betrayed and abandoned for no reason and being incredibly angry at someone you love while also not getting to be with them is somehow less painful than making the best of your life together and then losing them against their will? ‘I will make her hate me and then she won’t be sad we broke up/I died!!!!’ is such a fucking galaxy brain take and I despise it with the heat of ten thousand suns. Fuck you, Spider-Man. You aren’t protecting anyone, the villains still know you love MJ and will still use her against you, you clod. Emotionally torturing the person you love is not going to make them not a target because the villains are not as fucking stupid as you two. Anyway.

Amnesia was right where I started fast-forwarding and skipping around (because I couldn’t bear it), but it only goes downhill from there. Maybe I would have toughed out more of the wretched middle part plot twist if they hadn’t cut all the hot guy’s hair off. If I’m going to watch total nonsense tedious melodrama, I need it to at least be pretty. I understand it was a Symbolic Haircut but damnit! Let me have this!

And it ultimately does the thing that kdramas seem obsessed with and which makes me want to claw out my own eyeballs with frustration. There’s a giant time skip, the female lead gets a personality transplant, all narrative momentum is lost, and the characters who eventually (at ENORMOUS length) get together permanently are essentially completely different characters with a completely different dynamic than the couple you were shipping for 90% of the story. It is so FUCKING unsatisfying and it is EVERYWHERE.

Not so much with this one because this one still had a lot of very romantic scenes late in the game, but most that do this, it’s also like all the romance is sucked out of the post-time skip episodes and the ending is a consolation prize instead of a triumphant culmination. Inevitably, the heroine abruptly cools off and is suddenly wary of the hero and wants this Important New Career she never mentioned until the penultimate episode but is now her one true life’s dream. What the apparently irresistible appeal is of these contrived separations and demure conclusions is I CANNOT FATHOM. I’m here for the fucking romance guys, you have not made Citizen Kane, please just indulge me with a big schmoopy finale.

And if not that, it’s frequently that there’s been so many random mood swings and so much shitty behaviour by the end that the relationship doesn’t make sense and you don’t know why they even bother to get back together.

I’m not inherently against all misunderstandings (they are the bread and butter of low stakes romance let’s be real) or attempts at noble idiocy from misguided characters, but the duration and seriousness of the drama these generate needs to be in proportion to how ridiculous they are. If your entire plot can be solved by a thirty second conversation there is NO REASON not to have and the continuation of the misunderstanding is a result of someone just NOT SPEAKING UP when any functional human being would have spoken up seven times by now IT’S BAD.

Do little cliff-hangers, whatever, but don’t draaaaagg out silly misconceptions into Shakespearean tragedy, it’s just wearying. It makes me hate the characters for acting like emotionally constipated toddlers with terminal stupidity. If there is so little trust, so little understanding, and so little basic patience between these people, they probably shouldn’t be dating, so try fucking harder, writers. And noble idiocy that is more than an impulse they fairly quickly see the error of is just insulting. You are not helping the other person, you are being domineering and selfish. I have a whole complex about wasting time and seeing endless parades of characters flushing years down the toilet for literally no reason gives me hives. Especially when the whole issue is about time!

(And, btw, so much of the plot is about how desperately the family needs an heir and everyone still wanting them to have kids the second time they get together- while the ~dilemma used to keep them apart is a GENETIC DISEASE which could STRIKE AT ANY TIME. Do you SEE THE PROBLEM WITH THIS WRITERS????? NO, I KNOW YOU DON’T. ommmmmmmmggggg that’s awful! So they’re just dooming more kids to Soap Opera Brain Disease? And maybe growing up without a father just as Gun did? And no one even considers suggesting adoption??? He never considers that he shouldn’t have biological children despite thinking he shouldn’t have a wife?)

ANYWAY. Please do watch the first nine episodes and the last three, it’s bananas. They are cute as fuck, Gun is The Best, and the tropey romance scenes are top quality. You don't get those things executed so well, it doesn't happen, so you need this in your life. The acting is of a calibre you never usually see in modern romcoms; these are people at the top of their game committing utterly and taking these characters completely seriously. In that way it is pure wish fulfilment for me as someone who loves romance and is almost always disappointed by popular romance media, and thus the show is incalculably special. But skip the middle. Just skip it. It's not worth the suffering. I find the tone whiplash honestly just this side of crass.

I’ve been thinking about it for over a week and I truly love the main characters so it did plenty right, but I just cannot with wedding the two things this show is trying to be together, especially when it goes so hard in two mutually exclusive directions. but also the Meet Joe Black sudden car accident device is not redeemable under any circumstances. Can we never do that again, please.

#fated to love you #kdrama #jang hyuk #writing

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p-artsypants · 4 years

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Longest Night (42) Speaking

Ao3 | FF.net

“So, it’s been two weeks since Dr. Boucher removed your vocal nodules. Have you spoken to anyone yet?”

Adrien shook his head.

This was his first therapy session. Dr. Robin Zollar, a woman that exuded warmth and kindness. Her voice was sweet and a little silly, and she reminded him of the fairy godmother from Cinderella. That may have been why he was responding to her so well.

Besides speaking, of course.

“Does your throat still hurt?”

Shake.

“Have you actually tried speaking?”

Shake.

“And I’m guessing you really have no desire to either, right?”

Nod.

“Okay. Talking with Marinette, it seems like she’s been speaking a lot on your behalf. That’s fine and all, but you will need to develop a voice of your own. Do you feel like you have no need to speak?”

Nod.

“Because Marinette speaks for you?”

Shake.

“No? Well, that is a lot different than I expected. I would like to know a little bit more about that. Would you be willing to write down what it is that you’re feeling, if you won’t say it out loud?” She pushed a pen and pad of paper towards him.

He stared at it for a long while.

—

“You’re serious?” Marinette crossed her arms and frowned at him.

Gabriel held a tennis ball in his hand. “I mean, it wasn’t my idea. But my therapist said it might be a good way to connect with Adrien.”

“Catch. With his arm in a sling.”

“That’s why it’s a tennis ball.”

Marinette sighed and looked at Adrien. “What do you think, kitty?”

He sat at the end of his bed and shrugged.

“A little physical activity isn’t going to kill you.” Gabriel admonished.

“Yeah, but it could pull his stitches if he’s not careful.”

“Do I look stupid, Marinette? It’s not even catch, we’re just tossing it back and forth.”

Marinette frowned at the man, while Adrien gave a weak grunt.

Gabriel tossed him the ball, and Adrien caught it, throwing it back.

“Sleep alright last night?”

“The usual,” Said Marinette, on her phone while she sat on the couch.

“I was talking to Adrien.”

“Right.”

Marinette listened as the ball was tossed back and forth a few times. Before Gabriel repeated again, “Did you sleep alright last night?”

Adrien didn’t respond.

“I said, did you sleep well?”

There was a grunt.

“Shrugging and grunting mean nothing to me. The doctor gave the okay, you can use your voice now.”

“He doesn’t want to talk,” Marinette pressed. “Don’t force him.”

“Marinette, again, I’m talking to Adrien.”

She chuckled darkly, knowing his efforts were fruitless.

“I have someone who’s coming to visit soon. And your Aunt Amilie and Felix want to come and visit too. That will be fun, won’t it?”

Marinette closed her phone and sat up, looking over the back of the couch to watch this awkward one sided conversation.

“Felix himself emailed me and asked me about you. He wanted continual updates, since they didn’t get the same news broadcast over in London. He really cares about you.”

Adrien just pitifully watched the ball, but did little else. It was obvious Gabriel was not happy with his body language, so he steeled himself into a neutral, professional posture.

Marinette hated it.

“Nathalie was helping with the company while I was busy with the investigation with you. Now that you’re safe, she’ll be taking a little vacation. But she assures me that she’ll be back soon, and that she can’t wait to see you.”

The ball was tossed, caught, tossed.

“Isn’t that nice? Nathalie missed you.”

Toss. Catch. Toss.

“I said, isn’t that nice?”

“He’s mute, not deaf.” Marinette drawled.

Gabriel turned and looked at her. “Look, if you keep talking for him, and encouraging this behavior, he’s never going to speak. It’s learned helplessness at this point, and someone has to train it out of him. So shut up.”

The tennis ball hit Gabriel in the head.

“Excuse me!?” Gabriel whirled at his son.

Adrien hissed at him, like a feral cat.

Gabriel scoffed in disgust. “You’re not an animal! If you are angry with me, I expect you to use your words in a level tone.”

“We were treated like animals for weeks.” Marinette bit. “Sorry, it’s hard to think otherwise.”

“Out,” Gabriel nearly shouted at her. “You’re not helping. Go bother your parents for a while.”

With tears in her eyes, Marinette stood and started from the room.

Adrien whined and tried to follow.

“No!” Gabriel ordered. “You stay here! We’re playing catch!”

Outside the room, Marinette started down the stairs, but got weak and had to sit.

“Yikes, cringe.” Said Plagg, coming up to her side.

“You saw that huh?”

“I’ve been trying to give you both space and privacy, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to watch over Adrien like the little fairy godfather I am.”

“Was Gabriel right? Am I talking for Adrien too much?”

“Ehhhh, I tend to believe that that man is never right. Even when he’s right he’s wrong. But in this case, he’s wrong wrong. You guys are only two weeks out of the hospital. A month out of torture. I’m still trying to catch up with all the footage, and he’s trying to rush the recovery process. But when you do that, it makes everything worse.”

Marinette exhaled, feeling at least vindicated.

“Marinette, even if you do something ‘wrong’ right now, no one should blame you for it. Sure, we’ll reprimand you, but you’re dealing with a lot of shit, and your mind isn’t totally clear. Don’t feel guilty for trying to protect Adrien.”

“Thanks Plagg. That helps.” She glanced up at Adrien’s bedroom door. “I better get back in there.”

Marinette climbed the stairs again, coming up to the door.

As she opened it, she stared in horror as Gabriel stood over Adrien, a finger in his face, nearly spitting in anger.

Adrien’s expression was completely zoned out. A defense mechanism that he had adopted in their hellhole.

He was gone. And would probably continue to be so for a few hours. Did his mind go blank? Or did he retreat into a daydream? There was no way of knowing.

She shouldn’t have left the room.

“…not only is it disrespectful, it’s counterproductive. How are we supposed to help you if you won’t talk to us? You never had a problem speaking your mind before!”

Marinette slid onto the bed next to Adrien, grabbing him around the waist and pulling his head to her shoulder. “It’s okay. I’m here. I’m here.”

Adrien didn’t respond.

Plagg got between them and Gabriel. “You’re done.”

“I’m only trying to help.”

“You put him into shock. How does that help him? You’ve removed him from this plain of reality. Great job. Dad of the year.”

“Look, I just wanted to—“

“Are you still here?” Marinette snapped. “Get out. Now!”

“I’m not going anywhere! This is my house, and Adrien is my son!”

“He’s my husband!”

Gabriel clenched his fist. “That wedding was a sham. You’re as much of his wife as you are a ball and chain around his ankle. He’ll never get better with you dragging him back!”

The door swung open, banging against the wall. Marinette jumped at the noise and held onto Adrien.

Tom and Sabine entered, having been sent for by Tikki.

“Can you give us a moment?” Gabriel asked like he hadn’t just verbally punched Marinette in the gut. “We were having a discussion.”

Sabine said nothing, but slapped Gabriel across his face. “Be glad it was only a slap.” She bit.

“That’s assault!”

“And I bet the judge will be real sympathetic to you after what you said to our daughter and son-in-law.”

Gabriel just scowled at them. “I feel like we’ve had this discussion before.”

“We did, and last time, Adrien started crying. We can continue this discussion out in the lobby.”

“I’m not done talking to Adrien!”

Tom cracked his knuckles. “Oh, yes you are.” With one swift scoop, Tom had Gabriel draped over his shoulder like a sack of flour.

“Put me down! I can walk!”

“This is what I used to do with Marinette when she was a child and threw tantrums in a store. You’re going to act like a child, we’re going to treat you like a child.”

“I’m not a child!” Was the last thing Marinette heard before Sabine shut the door.

“Are you alright honey?” Sabine asked, sitting beside Adrien.

Marinette swallowed back tears. “I knew it…I want to help Adrien…but I’m making everything worse…”

Sabine looked to heaven. “Lord, I’m going to kick that man’s ass.” She shook her head. “No, no Marinette, Adrien needs you right now.” She delicately pet Adrien’s hair. “He feels safe around you, and you understand him the best. Gabriel is lost and frustrated right now. He has no idea how to act. And believe me, it’s hard for us too. I worry every day about what the right thing to do is.”

“But you don’t…you don’t yell at me.”

“Because yelling at you never helped in the past. We’ve talked sternly to you when you were in trouble, and we did groundings, and the occasional spanking when you were very very bad. But yelling only made you afraid and distrusting. I suspect that’s the attitude from Adrien he’s used to.”

Adrien didn’t respond in any way, just continued to bore a hole in the floor with his dull gaze.

“The doctor said that you being together was good. And what does Gabriel know about this kind of stuff? He designs clothes.”

Marinette cracked a smile.

“Your father and I will sit him down and have a good stern talking to him. He’s the one making things worse.”

Marinette breathed a calming breath. “Okay.” She let go of Adrien, only to take hold of his face and guide him to look at her. “Kitty?”

He blinked owlishly at her.

“You with me?”

Another slow blink.

“Is he alright?” Sabine asked.

“No, he’s—“ Marinette clenched her eyes shut. “He was like this back in…”

“That place.”

“Yeah, he…when things would get bad, he sort of…shut down. Salo said it was a sign of death. I think he’s trying to protect himself.” She pet his hair, and kissed his cheeks.

“What can I do to help?”

“Can we move him to the couch?”

Sabine nodded and stood, wrapping an arm around his waist.

Despite being mentally checked out, he was still respondent to movement. As they pulled him to his feet, he stood on his own, though still weakly. They guided him slowly over to the couch and had him sit down.

“Here’s a nice warm blanket. Do you want some tea?”

“Yes please, maman.”

Plagg spoke up from where he was silently watching. “I think Adrien would really enjoy a coke.”

“Are you sure?”

“He might only have a few sips, but it’s his favorite drink.” Then he whispered conspiratorially, “but his dad never lets him have it.”

“Okay, I think I’m following.”

“Marinette, you play video games, right?” Plagg asked.

“Uh, yeah?”

“Good. I’ll put in his favorite game, and you play it, and see if that rouses him.”

“Good thinking!”

Plagg floated over to the TV, and turned on the console while Sabine left to get them snacks.

Marinette leaned over and placed another kiss on his cheek.

The drum beats started up as the main menu came up.

Marinette groaned. “Skyrim...”

“What? Don’t like it?”

“I’ve never played it!”

“You’ve never played Skyrim?!” Plagg nearly shouted in mock offense. He didn’t actually care, but old Adrien would have.

“I know the memes, Sneak 100, ‘I took an arrow to the knee’ but I never actually sat down and played it. It’s so long!”

“Well, you got a lot of time on your hands now. Might as well start!”

“Yeah, might as well...”

She modeled her character to look like Ladybug, with red paint over the eyes to replicate a mask.

As she started playing, Sabine came back and left the snacks.

Marinette paused the game to help Adrien take a few sips of his drink. She placed the can in his good hand and brought it to his lips. Then she tilted the can slightly, watching as he drank on his own.

It didn’t rouse a response.

“If this goes on much longer, I’m going to call the doctor.” Said Sabine. “I’m worried.”

“Me too.” Said Marinette, sweeping the bangs from his forehead.

Sabine stayed and watched the game, wincing when Marinette sliced someone’s head off with a sword.

“This is pretty gory, are you doing okay?”

“Yeah, it’s almost cartoonish. I...I did much worse.”

Marinette continued to sneak glances at Adrien. He seemed to be watching the screen now, instead of looking through it. His eyes followed her character, and Sabine took it as a sign that he had mostly come back around.

“Feeling a little better, Adrien?” She asked.

He hummed.

So she left them alone.

Tikki sat on Marinette’s lap, while Plagg nuzzled into Adrien’s hair. The room was quiet, the volume on the game turned down, and only soft ambient music was heard.

“I love you.”

Marinette blinked. The voice was so soft, so rough, and wavering, she didn’t think she heard it at first. But she turned to look at Adrien, seeing that he was looking at her. Her breathing picked up, as she waited, begging him to speak again. She bit her lip to keep her from speaking and interrupting if he did say something.

“I didn’t know what else to say.”

She shook her head at him, and turned her body to face him. “Say whatever you want. You know I won’t judge.” She leaned in, staring deep into his eyes to prove he had her full attention.

Adrien rested a hand on hers, squeezing slightly. He met her gaze, holding it with his breath.

“You…” He began, only to pause.

“Yes?” She urged.

“You…are really bad at this game.”

Marinette nearly collapsed on him, she was laughing so hard.

—

Adrien recalled this very special moment with his lady after the therapist handed the notepad. So he had lied. He had spoken to someone. His other half, his partner, his soulmate. But it felt a lot less like ‘finally speaking’ then it did sharing a secret. He had confided as much in her then. He still didn’t want to talk, but with her it was different.

With her, he felt safe, free, and wanted. He could talk for hours, or say nothing. Either way, he was comfortable.

“Adrien?” The therapist asked delicately, as he hadn’t written anything. “If you prefer not to answer, that’s fine too. We have a half an hour left in this session.”

He was inclined to write out his feelings just as much as he was to speak. It was hard to find the words. Much less ones that were worthy of being spoken.

Finally, he admitted what he didn’t want to.

Why bother speaking if no one will listen?

—

It was evening when she arrived. The sun was just about to set, sending La Grande Paris into glittering gold and orange light.

Though it felt weird to be staying in a hotel when her home was just a block away.

Disguised with sunglasses and a handkerchief, Emilie was escorted upstairs to the nicest suite available.

And inside awaited her dearly beloved husband.

“Gabriel?” She asked softly.

She heard his breath caught in his throat. “Emilie…” In a few quick strides, he was on her, embracing her, kissing her, weeping on her. “I’ve missed you so much…”

“I’m here darling, I’m here…” She whispered, shedding tears of her own.

They stayed that way a long while, just in each other’s arms. Occasionally sharing kisses and words of love.

Finally, Gabriel pulled away to look her up and down. “You must be exhausted.”

“I’m actually not. I slept on the plane, and then I’ve been nervous ever since landing.”

“Nervous? About what?”

“About being gone, seeing you again, what I’m going to see…”

“Oh.” He huffed. “Well, did you want to shower? Are you hungry?”

“Yes to both.”

“I’ve packed some clothes for you. Why don’t we get you all settled in, and then I’ll tell you the whole sad story.”

“And Adrien?”

“He’s home.”

“When will I get to see him?”

Gabriel gnawed on his bottom lip. “Well…soon, I hope. But, he’s changed a lot.”

“So have you.” Emilie pet his hair. “You’ve gone gray.”

“I think I look distinguished.”

“You look old.”

“You haven’t aged a day, my love.”

Emilie smiled softly, leaning in to give him a small kiss. “Flatterer.”

“But about Adrien…you see, he’s not speaking to anyone. I’m hoping that seeing you again will give him that spark.”

“Does he know what happened?”

“…not quite.”

“What does he think happened to me? Does he think I’m dead? Would seeing me shock him?”

“I think it might be a little shocking, but he just thinks you disappeared. Makes things a little easier to explain.”

“Speaking of explaining…”

“Shower, dinner, then I’ll get to it.”

At 3 AM, Gabriel hustled out of La Grande Paris, having done far too much damage. Good thing it was dark, or half of Paris would have questioned why the Gabriel Agreste was leaving a hotel late at night while a mysterious woman screamed obscenities at him from a balcony.

#miraculous ladybug #longest night #ml #ladybug #chat noir #gabriel agreste #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #adrienette

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roonil-wazlib-at-221b · 4 years

Text

Jealousy

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Reader

Note: in this AU, Five never jumped to the future. Everyone (except Luther) has moved on from the Academy. They’re all 22 atm.

This wasn’t requested but it popped into my head and I just really wanted to write it!

Five seriously regrets signing up for this eight a.m. history class. He has it on good authority that the teacher is going to move it to eight p.m. next semester, but that would conflict with his advanced math class. Of course, he could have pushed that back a semester too, which wouldn’t have hurt his degree or prevented his graduation at all. But at the moment he’d thought to himself ‘Oh, well, waking up at seven every Monday and Thursday morning won’t be so bad.’

It is. It’s so bad. At this point he’s pretty sure that his blood is 99% coffee.

He’d even had the mind to transfer after the first week. He’s simply a night owl and not an early riser, ergo this is torture without fifteen cups of coffee. But there is one tiny little problem with that, and that is why he hasn’t switched out yet, and the only reason he hasn’t yet missed a single class.

It’s a girl.

Yeah, as stupid as that sounds, the only reason Five hasn’t yet transferred out of his stupid eight a.m. history class is because on the first day of the class, when he had been glaring at everybody and hating just about everyone and everything, a pretty girl had sat down next to him without even a glance in his direction, holding a humongous travel cup of tea, and with earbuds blasting music so loud he could hear it.

Your name is Y/N. You love tea but hate coffee. You like history but hate math. You have a boyfriend called Max with gorgeous blue eyes. You’ve got a cat. You’re not a morning person. You’re majoring in biology.

That’s pretty much all Five knows about you.

But God, he’s got the biggest crush.

He can’t help it! You’re just so... you. He can’t even put it into words, but God, you distract him.

But he can’t do anything about it because you’ve got your stupid boyfriend Max that everyone you know gushes about. He’s not about to be a homewrecker. It just sucks that he hadn’t figured out you were already taken until it was way too late to enroll in another course.

He settles for being a friend.

Five rolls his eyes and kicks your chair a little bit when you’re about to nod off. You jolt up, eyes wide for a few moments, before registering that the lecture is about to start. With a wide yawn, you greet him and reach into your backpack for your laptop.

“Late night?”

“Sort of.” You shrug. “Max wouldn’t stop yelling at me for attention and he always wakes up at the oddest hours and wakes me up, too.”

Privately, Five thinks, I’d never yell at you. Even if it’s for attention, he sort of thinks it’s a dick move. If he ever meets Max, he might just give the asshole a piece of his mind. It’s not the first time you’ve complained about him being an asshole but you never even consider breaking up with him. “He a morning person?”

You snort. “You could say that. He’s cute, though, so I love him.”

There it is; the knife in his gut. You love to twist it around without even realizing you’re doing it. Five just nods and looks down at his notes.

Five’s neither an asshole nor an idiot (and you’ve called Max both those names multiple times, not that he really cares). He can tell you like your boyfriend, for some reason he can’t tell, and that it would really be a dick move to make moves on you. So he’s content (not really) to spend time with you, even if it’s a sweet kind of torture.

That includes math tutoring. You’d seen him reading one of his advanced math books before the lecture started one time and pounced on the opportunity. You’re really smart, but not the best at paying attention and it’s not like your professor’s good at teaching anyway.

And Five, like an idiot, had agreed.

He’s not very good at teaching. The first time he’d brought you to tears he’d panicked and accidentally spacial jumped to China. He’d jumped right back, of course, and the shock of seeing one of your friends disappear and reappear had stopped your tears short.

He hasn’t made you cry since (and he definitely doesn’t have nightmares about hearing you sniffle) which is good for his patience, he supposes. Sometimes a few of your friends will join your study sessions, but most of the time it’s just you and Five.

Alone.

In a library.

Alone.

So now you’re friends? Sort of? At least, you talk with his siblings and he talks with your friends and you’re all kind of one group now.

And nobody. Ever. Shuts. Up. About. Max.

“We really need to see Max sometime,” Vanya says while she, you, Five, Klaus, and two of your other friends are all sitting under the shade of a tree, ‘working’ on homework assignments. Immediately a whole chorus of agreements rise from Five’s siblings and your friends and he rolls his eyes.

“Five’s never met Max,” Klaus proclaims loudly. “He doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.”

“Let’s go right now!” one of your friends, Isabella, exclaims.

“I’ve got a lot of homework to do,” Five replies tiredly. “You go on without me.”

“Are you sure?” you ask, looking at him with your hair falling over your shoulder and eyes a little tired but worried.

It’s like getting kicked in the stomach.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Five waves everyone away, wondering how on earth this ‘Max’ guy is so amazing that everyone loves him. You’re the last to go, still sending Five looks over your shoulder.

He pretends not to notice.

Yeah, he’s jealous. So what?

“Max is so great,” you sigh during one of your study sessions.

I’m pretty great too, Five thinks sourly.

“His eyes are so pretty,” you continue. “Such a pretty blue.”

Five, personally, thinks that green is better than blue.

“How’s your cat?” he asks, to change the subject.

“Great!” you smile at him. Five’s stomach falls down at least two stories. “Belligerent and fluffy as always. You really should meet him, you know.” You stick out your bottom lip and pout at him and dammit, but he really doesn’t feel like saying no to you right now.

Five’s impulsive. He says yes. You beam. He’d say it again, a thousand times, just to see that smile.

His stomach falls again when you stand up and hold out your hand for him to take so you can drag him back to your apartment. You live off-campus because of your cat, supported by moderately wealthy parents who are just relieved you hadn’t gone to college in another country.

Maybe he knows more about you than he’d thought.

You drag him across campus, probably to ensure he has as little time as possible to change his mind. You always get confused whenever he refuses to meet either your cat or Max, a little bit of hurt clouding your pretty E/C eyes before you blink it away.

All Five knows about you, and he’s never met your boyfriend or cat. He’s never even been to your apartment before.

It’s in a pretty building with a nice view. There’s a park directly across the building, and Five can imagine you on the swings late at night, holding hands with someone who’s on the swing next to you. First he imagines a scruffy guy with blue eyes, and then he imagines you holding hands with a neat brunette boy with green eyes.

“You’re not allergic, are you?” you ask just before unlocking your apartment door.

Five shakes his head. “I don’t think so.” He’s never really been around cats before. God knows pets weren’t allowed at the Academy.

You smile and open the door. “Good. Max!”

Five instantly tenses. He was brought here to see your cat, not your boyfriend. What will he even think about you bringing a guy here, to your apartment, one-on-one?

A white blur runs into the room, making an unusual high-pitched noise, and you laugh and crouch down. “Hey, buddy,” you coo, picking the cat up gently. “Want to hold him?”

Five looks at the triangular face. The cat, just like your boyfriend, has blue eyes that are gorgeous against his white fur. You must have a thing for blue eyes. Something curdles in his stomach at the thought and he nods mutely.

“Max, this is Five,” you coo, gently putting the cat in his arms. “Don’t mind his silly name or his scowl. He’s a softie.”

“Hi,” Five says quietly, rolling his eyes at your gentle ribbing. The cat regards him, studying him, and leans to sniff his nose.

Wait.

Max.

Max?

Five looks at you looking at him and your cat with a gorgeous smile on your face. “This is Max?”

“Yeah.” Your smile grows even wider. “Isn’t he gorgeous?”

“Yeah,” Five says quietly. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shiiiiiit.

“He’s also an asshole,” you coo, taking the cat out of his arms. “You’re just the biggest annoyance ever, aren’t you? You know, I was beginning to think you really hated cats,” you add to Five. “You always seemed so annoyed whenever I talked about him.”

“I guess I was focused on other stuff,” Five invents wildly. Your eyes narrow just a little bit at him and you let the cat jump out of your arms. Thankfully, you let him keep his dignity (I was jealous over a cat? Really?) and shrug.

“I have something to tell you,” you say, swallowing.

“Sure.” Five watches as the cat saunters out of the room. Smug, as if he knows that Five is a total oblivious idiot. How did he not know that Max and your cat were the same person? He’s so stupid.

“I like you.”

“Okay. Wait—” Five jerks to look at you, stomach falling again, eyes wide. “What?”

“It’s totally fine if you don’t feel the same way,” you say quickly. “But... I’ve liked you for a while now, actually. It’s why I sat next to you in history, really.”

Five laughs. Then he sits down on your couch pretty abruptly.

“What?” You stay standing, biting your lip and tugging on your hair like you always do when you’re nervous. “I promise I’m not a groupie or anything. I don’t really care about the Umbrella Academy or all that stuff, It’s just—”

“I’m such an idiot,” Five whispers.

“What?”

“I like you, too,” he admits. “I have for a while now.”

Your smile is blinding.

Five x Reader Taglist:

@statsvitenskap @dare-the-punisher @thespian-anon @ask-veronica-sawyer-heathers @fivegallaghers @ggclarissa @akiyamakuro @featuringcone9

Umbrella Academy Taglist:

@fentanvl @deathswretch @lightningidiot @five-hg @iamsnek666 @ameliatrh @ihatecheesyusernames @dora-the-grownup @emilyt0314 @idklol707

Forever Taglist:

@lemirabitur @annymcervantes @queenmissfit @quiet-because-it-is-a-secret @iksey

If you want to be added to a taglist, just let me know!

#tua #The Umbrella Academy #number five #five #five hargreeves #five x reader #number five x reader #five hargreeves x reader #reader x five hargreeves #reader x five #reader insert

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scrapyardboyfriends · 3 years

Text

And now for my negative thoughts on the past week and a half of emmerdale. Look away anon who hates this stuff...

The Chaddy wedding is still incredibly stupid and I can’t believe he just decided to do it because Marlon was talking about how terrible his Christmas wedding was. What a way to start that off. I just...I fear they’re going to go through with it and it’s just going to be torture.

The Paul story is still...painful. I can’t believe they gave him a childhood seizure disorder just to relate to Liv. It’s just so absurd. And this whole thing with Liv and the seizures is just so annoying. I feel like they did all of this already and I thought they already decided she had epilepsy. It feels callous to say I’m tired of seeing her cry over it but because her seizure stuff has just literally never been about her and still isn’t, because just like brining her drinking back up, it’s just to further this dumb Paul plot. Just like her asexuality too. It’s just to get her involved with Vinny so that she can be a plot device in this Paul stuff. I just wish they’d actually at least try to do something with her that’s just for her. It’s very frustrating. And it’s like they remembered that there was no real reason for anyone to be keeping quiet about Paul to Mandy so they had to use Liv to throw another wrench it because it didn’t make any sense. I’m just tired of it all and it’s never going to end. Positives? Vinny has a nice singing voice and I enjoyed Eric being like “I don’t know who the fuck this guy is” to Paul in the cafe.

Let’s see...the Malone story? Also still terrible. Haha. I mean Harriet is just not meant to be this much of a main character. Let us be free! I really hope all of this new vicar stuff leads her to just go away or at least take a major back seat. The body exhumation stuff is...ridiculous but it’s soapy so sure why not. This would all be more fun if it hadn’t been dragging on for so long and if it centered on just about any other character. Harriet worked so much better as just the cool vicar or the private eye who just popped up to calm down the Pearls and the Emma Bartons of the world and make a quippy comment and then go away. Also....I hate everything they are doing with Dawn. I want her to be free of all of this nonsense too. And I loathe the way they are punishing her for everything with this stupid STI/infertility bullshit. She was put in an impossible situation by her parental figures who got involved with Malone. She was the only one who actually just went to the police about him and then she killed him in self defense and yet she’s being punished this much? I hate it.

The Al stuff...*eye roll*. I have a problem because I wasn’t watching when he and Priya really got together so I get it even less than I might if I’d seen that. They just really don’t know what to do with Al and they don’t know what to do with Priya either other than give her terrible men to date. Save Priya. As for Al and this whole “mystery woman” nonsense. First of all, it came out of nowhere and has been spectacularly bad. I’m 99% sure it’s just going to be Kim because she’s also supposed to be having an affair and they’ve mentioned her enough times in relation to Al’s weird secret trips. And well...Kim/Al didn’t work the first time so why would it work now? I’m preemptively mad and bored already. It should be Chas.

This Gabby/Leyla/Liam stuff still feels like too much and not enough. It went on forever and then I don’t feel like the resolution was at all worth while. I still feel like Gabby’s reasons were...underwhelming? Mostly because it’s the same thing she’d been saying from the start. There was never any more to it so why did we bother with such a long story? And Liam continuing to moan about the “accusations” is just getting a bit silly since literally nothing happened because no one knew about it and Gabby came clean rather quickly. I get him breaking up with Leyla. They need to do some real work on their relationship if they want it to actually work. But also, Leyla’s reasons for believing Gabby make sense due to the Maya situation and Liam was acting weird with Gabby over the whole stupid flowers thing. I don’t know, it just all needed to be better told and have a greater purpose.

The Meena/Manpreet/Rishi stuff is...incredibly forced?! I mean I think they’re starting to handle Meena a bitter better in regards to David, in that we’re actually seeing them spend a modicum of time together but they’re still rushing it unnecessarily. All of the comments I saw in the live blogging about everyone treating Rishi like a child are absolutely valid. It was really dumb. Sometimes they just push him too far into the bumbling comedy thing and it doesn’t work. As far as Meena and Manpreet go, that’s where the forced thing really comes in for me. I just feel like they have this obsession with warring siblings and so they keep trying to make a set that works. Again, the Sugden brother feud worked because it was based on years and years of build up. You can’t just bring in a sibling like Meena or Mack or Billy for that matter and be like “look they have a traumatic backstory with their sibling and now they hate each other and are going to have a constant rivalry for no real reason even though the backstory was explained away and those shouldn’t really be reasons anymore!”. I was thinking back to Jai and Nikhil when they came in. They came in together and they clearly had a brotherly rivalry that you could see play out in the business and how different they were to each other and any conflict they did have was built to more naturally. Hell they did a better job with Ross and Pete and I was never crazy about that. I just feel like Manpreet is unfairly harsh on Meena for stuff we’ve only vaguely heard about instead of anything we’ve actually seen on screen so it doesn’t really work for me.

Same with Mack and Moira. I get that he might not get over what happened when he was a kid immediately just because he knows the truth now but again it was like this big thing and then it was proven to be not that and now they’re just using it as a reason for Mack to show up and make snarky comments toward Moira about her relationship. I don’t know, I like Mack for the most part but he can’t just be that. Hopefully he’ll have some real feelings in this upcoming Charity stuff and that will round him out a little bit as a character. We’ll see.

I think....that’s it? The Jamie saga was blessedly quiet in these episodes but with Kim returning, I’m sure I’ll have more to critique there later.

#emmerdale complaints corner #belated live blogging #this is very long #i'm sorry #at least it's just all in one post

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ridemedaddyjames · 5 years

Text

Split - Part II

Split - Part I

Pairing: Kevin Wendell Crumb x reader

Warnings: angst, cursing, stockholm syndrome

Words: 2,100

When you woke, Claire and Marcia were huddled on the bed, whispering your name as they pointed towards the entrance. Turning your head, you spotted the man, dressed in different clothing. This time a huge, childlike, grin played across his face.

“My name’s Hedwig. I have red socks,” he said, joyfully, staring at the girls before turning his attention to you. “He’s on the move.” Hedwig giggled, keeping his gaze wandering between you three. Something was different, this wasn’t the same guy who had been in here before. It was almost as if they were all entirely different people. Different personalities jam packed inside one head, all fighting for a chance at the light.

“What did you say?” You asked, confused, pulling yourself from your thoughts as you wondered who this ‘he’ must’ve been.

“He’s...on...the...move,” Hedwig said again, this time enunciating every word. His mentality seemed to be lesser than the previous people he’d pretended to be, and you found it almost comforting.

“Who is?” You questioned, hoping to get some answers out of him.

He seemed to reject the entire question, instead choosing to agh you on by leaving you in suspense. “Someone’s coming for you, and you’re not gonna like it.” The man said, before quickly changing the topic. “You guys make noises in your sleep.” It was like talking to a child. One minute his focus was on you, and the next it was a mile away.

“Hedwig, can you tell me who it is?” You tried again, becoming more sincere with your way of asking.

“I’m not supposed to say,” he teased, laughing like a little kid. “But, he’s done awful things to people, and he’ll do awful things to you.” Hedwig said, excitedly. “I have blue socks too,” he finished, losing his train of thought.

“How old are you?” The question came out almost involuntarily, and you felt bad for asking. This whole situation was growing exceedingly weird, though, and you couldn’t help your hunger for answers. What once had been a dark and brooding man, now seemed to take on a childlike persona. It made you wonder how many different identities must be stuck in there, and you held your breath, waiting for his response.

“I’m nine,” Hedwig shrugged before sitting up a little taller. The man seemed to be proud of his age as he looked at you with what could only be a bright, boyish, smile. It only made you that much more intrigued as you scooted closer to him, feeling less and less nervous by the second.

“You’re not the one that took us?” You asked, sincerely, noticing the way his expression changed. You couldn’t tell if it was from your question, or the way you kept moving nearer.

“No?” He said, confused.

“You’re not the lady?” You tried again, wondering how all of this was real. For a split second you could see an ounce of hurt in his eyes before it flashed back to being entirely perplexed.

“What are you, blind?” Hedwig scoffed, growing more defensive.

“So, you don’t know how they think?” This time, you knew to ask the most strategic question of all, and hoped like hell he’d respond the way you wanted him to.

“No, they don’t tell me much,” he admitted, disappointedly. “I just ate a hot dog,” he said, his train of thought gone again.

Sensing a loophole, you got down on your knees in front of him, trying to get down to his level. If you thought this through, you might’ve just found your escape route.

“Hedwig, can you help us?” There was no hiding the slight begging of your voice, and his eyes grew twice their size at your question.

“No, I’m not even supposed to be here. I stole the light from Mr. Dennis, but he’ll be back real soon.” He panicked, realizing just how much trouble he was going to be in. “I can’t steal the light for too long, or he’ll get angry. Etcetera.” He added, making sure to get his point across. “See ya!” Hedwig shouted, leaping from his spot of the floor as he gripped the door handle.

“Wait!” You shouted, stopping him in his tracks. A plan was forming in your head, and you knew you shouldn’t lie, but for Marcia and Claire, you felt like you had to. Just because you wanted to stay, didn’t mean you had to force them here as well. Especially when you may have just found your one way ticket out of here for them.

“We heard something,” you finally said, catching his attention once again. “We didn’t understand it, but, now we do. Do you know what we heard?” Just like that he’d become completely engrossed in what you had to say, making it too late to back out of your lie.

“What did you hear?” Hedwig asked, eyes as big as saucers. If there was any of them you could trick, it would be him. Which is why you tried to bring him on your side.

“Come here.” The words came out softly as you motioned for him to join you on the floor. “I’ll whisper it to you.” This man was strong enough to snap you in two, and you were treating him like a child. If the other identity came to the light you’d be done for.

The biggest grin spread across Hedwig’s face as he took a split second to think it through before agreeing. This was the closest you’d ever been to any of them, and you should’ve been shaking with fear. Why the hell were you so calm?

“This guy...he’s coming for you,” as soon as the words left your lips his grin faded to absolute horror. You regretted it immediately, wanting to take him into your arms and comfort him. To tell him it was all a lie, and apologize for ever saying it.

“You’re a big fibber,” Hedwig panicked, words coming out fast as he pretended not to believe you.

“I never lie, Hedwig,” and with that one statement, you knew you had him. No matter how badly it hurt you, no matter how much you wanted to confess, it was too late. You couldn’t.

“But, Mr. Dennis, he said that he followed those two girls for four days, and that he knew they were the ones that he would want.” It all came spilling out as if his filter had disappeared, and you knew you were looking in the face of a scared, innocent, child. What you were also getting, though, was answers.

This was going to eat at you forever. You cared for him. Why in the hell did you care for him? Why were you doing this? Was it honestly worth it to torture a little boy with such mind games? God, you hated yourself. Were Claire and Marcia even worth the amount of damage this was going to do to your self esteem? It’s not like you were friends? Hadn’t Hedwig said that Dennis only wanted them? So why were you even here?

Coming back to the task at hand, you looked at the man, his face making you want to cry as you said the next words. “Hedwig, when you’re not around, Dennis and the lady talk about you. We heard them talking about how he wants a boy this time. They said they’re going to give him you.” Your head was splitting in two as you tried to keep up this whole charade. You didn’t even know what this man was going to do to you, but, apparently, it wasn’t good because Hedwig went into full on panic mode.

“No! Miss Patricia, she said...she said she’s not mad at me anymore.” He told you, shaking his head like a child who was just told something they didn’t want to hear. “She sings to me sometimes.” He added, reminding himself that she still cared about him.

“I think Miss Patricia is still a little mad at you,” you continued, only pouring salt on an open wound. Just like that, you could see the tears welling up in his eyes, and it was taking everything in you not to blow your cover. ‘Maybe you were the real monster?’ You thought to yourself, hating what Claire and Monica were turning you into.

“Miss Patricia thinks I’m...” Hedwig started, his sentence breaking cause he didn’t want to say it out loud. Saying it meant opening up, and he couldn’t stop himself from letting you see his true feelings. “She thinks I’m stupid.” He finally said, coming to terms with it. “She thinks I make silly mistakes.”

“Look at me,” you told him, resting your palm against his cheek. His skin was soft; smooth. His eyes were wide with wonder, and you feel him tense under your touch before slowly relaxing. “I’m like your babysitter, okay?” You smiled, tears finally filling your eyes to see how broken he truly was. “I’ll let you watch tv, and I’ll make you a fun dinner. We all need to get out of here. You, Hedwig, you can show us the way.” But you didn’t really want to leave. You wanted to stay and help fix the damage you’d just done to him. The damage that the world had done to him, and to all of the others.

“Wait a minute,” Hedwig realized, coming to his senses. “It took forever to get this place safe without the nosey bodies that work here finding out. You can’t get out of here!” He shouted, taking off towards the door again. “I have to blow my nose!” He said, slamming the door in your face.

“No, wait! Please!” You begged, but it was too late. Just like that you’d been stuck with the preps again, and you silently wished you were the only one he’d taken.

“Guys,” Claire finally said, thinking over what Hedwig had just told you. “He said something about making the room safe.” She looked up at you, hoping you’d have some idea of what that could possibly mean.

“This is all new drywall!” You realized as everyone dispersed, banging on the walls. Claire had opted for the ceiling, pulling the bed over as she stared to knock everywhere.

“Y/N, you were right! He was covering up a way out!” Claire exclaimed, jumping down as she picked up her high heels from the corner of the room. She jabbed it into the ceiling panel, creating a small hole before slamming into it again. Her heel continued to tear into the ceiling until she was able to make a hole large enough to fit through.

“He’s here,” Marcia froze, looking through the crack in the door. Your eyes darted to Claire who started to freak out.

“You can’t let him in! This is our one chance!” She shouted under her breath, trying to get a steady grip on the air vent to pull herself up. Twice she had attempted it; slipping both times.

“We’re not gonna make it!” Marcia told her, losing all hope.

“Yes, we are!” Claire assured her, finally taking hold of it before swinging her leg up to get inside.

“What?” Hedwig asked, trying to get into the room. “Hey, what are you guys doing?” He tried again, pushing against the door. “Hey. Okay, quit it. Guys? Let me in!” He pouted, using all of his strength to open it, but it still wasn’t enough. You and Marcia were holding it shut, your collective weight being enough to keep him out. For now. “What are you guys doing? Guys, you’re not being funny! You’re bein bitches!” He yelled, growing stronger with his rage. “Now, I’m gonna slap you! I’m gonna slap you in your face!” Hedwig threatened, before going back to his usual, soft, self. “You’re gonna get me into trouble!”

His force on the door had ended, he’d completely given up, or so you thought. Without warning a heavy weight was slammed against the door, and you were surprised the door hadn’t broken completely with the amount of forced he’d used against it. No, this wasn’t Hedwig anymore. This was Dennis, and he was mad. Your knees buckled, sending both you and Marcia falling to the floor.

When you looked up, Claire was gone. She’d managed to shimmy herself into the air vent, and you were starting to assume the best until Dennis looked around the room for her, eyeing both you and Marcia scattered across the ground until he let out a frustrated grunt and slammed the door behind himself. That was the last time you’d see Claire for a very long time.

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saiilorstars · 4 years

Text

Princess

// Part 1 • Part 3 //

Ch.2: Charms

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female OC

Story Summary: Steve asks his new friend to help his best friend Bucky deal through all the memories Hydra has left behind in his head. It’s just that Bucky doesn’t see how she’s going to be able to do that.

Chapter Summary: Bucky struggles to avoid Chloe and put those wrong feelings to rest. Meanwhile, Chloe is still under the idea that she's done something so wrong that Bucky won't see her anymore.

Taglist: @ocfairygodmother @anotherunreadblog

[There’s a part 2 because someone asked and I can never say no :)]

There wasn't a lot of things that made sense. One of those things was Bucky suddenly choosing not to continue seeing Chloe after a week or so. It was simply too much and for him, that was saying something. He just couldn't understand how the hell all this happened, much less why it had to happen.

Chloe Winters had been sent to help him and he chose - no, no, some part of him chose - to like her just a bit too much. He tried to get past it, focus on what she was instructing him to do. It wasn't like he was short on bad memories to focus on but it seemed like each time he and Chloe were in the middle of the sessions, his mind liked to seek out new details about her that he hadn't noticed before. Her long tresses of blonde hair actually had strands that were slightly darker than others. She actually had a half-formed dimple on her left cheek. It didn't always come out but then again, when did he ever make her smile? That honor mostly went to the annoying silly-putty man. Angel Face. That annoying nickname Sam appropriated on her God knew how long ago actually started making sense. There were just times when he was lucky enough to see a mischievous glint in her otherwise angel eyes.

Bucky was sure that if Steve were to find out what was running through his head these days, he would laugh to the moon. But no. No one could find out. Absolutely nobody.

It's why he had to quit the sessions. Perhaps he could gain some type of control over this if he wasn't so close to Chloe. Control. What a terrible word that was. It could possibly haunt him for the rest of his life. He hadn't had control over himself in years and that would stop now. He would have control of himself at least in this aspect of his life, more for Chloe's sake than his. She was young, she didn't need any of this, much less from him. He still vividly remembered her reaction during their last session which was what ultimately pushed him to do one good thing in his life after all the bad.

"You're really not focusing," Chloe had noticed straightaway his lack of attention.

Even with his eyes shut, Bucky imagined the frown she often put on that was more or less of a pout instead. When he opened his eyes, he confirmed. It was alarming how quickly he began to memorize some of her habits. Whether that was part of the enhanced abilities he had or his brain was just that attuned to her, he was not sure. He didn't want to know either.

"Okay, c'mon!" Chloe huffed, inadvertently fanning him with her breath. There was remnants of a sweet cinnamon scent in the air. Her eyes snapped open and met his, not looking the least bit bothered by their incredible closeness. They seemed to narrow, actually. "You want to tell me what's going on or are we just going to keep dancing around in these sessions?" She didn't mean to sound angry but she was a bit frustrated that this wasn't working anymore. It meant she wasn't working anymore. She wasn't able to help him. Recently, she found that she really liked helping him. It certainly brought out some of those nice personality traits Steve swore he had. Chloe was personally interested in seeing that charming smile Bucky was rumored to have. She'd seen some of the old photographs circling through the Smithsonian museum and yes, he really did have a charming smile. She wanted to see it in person (not at her though, of course not). Moreover, if Bucky was capable of producing one of those smiles, it meant he was on a road that would ultimately lead to recovery.

But clearly she was failing to help him.

She got further confirmation when Bucky practically recoiled from her. He'd realized it was different being this close to her when they both had their eyes opened and were looking at each other. Foreheads touching, locked gazes, knees brushing against each others and her sweet floral scent? How was he supposed to control himself when all the odds were against him?

It was flat out terrifying how much he was affected by her. Even when his mind was frazzled, he couldn't remember another moment like this in his life. What did Chloe possess that she had him bitter sweetly suffering for her? Moreover, why couldn't he stop?

Was this just another consequence of Hydra? He lost that trait in him that once allowed him to glide through women like nothing? That's stupid, he concluded. As if Hydra would ever take that into consideration. No. This was all him. So it begged the question again...why was it happening now? This was the worst time possible.

"Are you just going to keep staring at me or what?" Chloe's sharp tone pulled Bucky back to the present...a torturous present. Her frustration was evident in her narrowed eyes. That was something else he learned about her. She was very easily irritated.

"I can't..." He decided, pushing himself up from his seat.

"What—" Chloe frantically followed his movements and rushed up to her feet. "What's going on? Did I do something? Did I not do something I should've?"

There was the other thing, a trait that often upset Bucky. Each time Chloe felt like she'd done something wrong, she panicked. And when she panicked, she frantically tried fixing it like she had something to prove. He was a bit familiar with that. Someone else used to do that back in the day.

"Should we change something? Do you want me to change something!? Just tell me-"

"Chloe stop before you can't breathe," Bucky had to practically command her before she actually went blue in the face. "I just don't want to do this anymore."

"But why not?" She bit her lip. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No..."

She didn't buy it. "People always tell me when I do something wrong so if I did do something wrong, just tell me so I can fix it. You won't hurt my feelings. I'm very used to this."

That twisted something in his stomach. She should not be used to that. No one should ever make her feel like that. Bucky tried ignoring the flash of anger that crossed him.

"What did I do?" Chloe asked again, her tone softening as she waited to hear the mistakes she so clearly believed she made.

"Nothing," Bucky assured her even though it wasn't completely the truth. Se had done something but she hadn't at the same time. The best thing he could do was to remove himself - he had the option to do so.

"Well, that's just a lie—"

"We're done, Chloe." Bucky turned away before she blinked at him with those big eyes of hers. Removing himself quite literally meant removing himself from the situation. Until he discovered a way to end these confusing thoughts, he would have to put some decent distance between him and Chloe.

~ 0 ~

In the following days, Chloe tried her hardest to figure out where she'd gone wrong. She honestly thought that she'd done everything like she was supposed to. She'd taken things very seriously and done what she could to help ease Bucky's nerves. Where had she gone wrong? It wasn't long before she noticed that he was trying to keep away from her. She was thoroughly stumped.

"You can't get upset over it," Sam said to her one afternoon. "Guy like him? His mind's all over the place."

"I'm not upset, I'm...irritated," Chloe admitted. At first she'd been truly upset that it was her fault Bucky decided to end the sessions but she slowly came to the same conclusion that Sam suggested. "I'm irritated because he won't help me help him. I can't tweak my strategies if I don't know what's wrong with them."

Sam shook his head at her. "Oh c'mon, try to forget about it for a while."

"I can't," Chloe admitted with a heavy sigh.

"Why not?"

Chloe didn't answer straightaway. There was too much going on in her head and for once it wasn't because of the Hive Mind. She wasn't one to dwell so much but this one...this one had her. She couldn't get rid of the urge she felt to help Bucky. She helped a lot of people in the past but there was just something different this time 'round.

Just forget the charming smile, she berated herself as that's what was keeping her tied to the problem. It wasn't. There was plenty more and she hated to admit it. But she would be the biggest idiot if she ever admitted that to Sam. He would have field day with that information.

"I just can't," she whispered.

Sam watched her carefully as a heavy feeling fell over her angel face. "Hey, I got an idea. A distraction."

"Yeah, what do you have?"

Sam smirked. "A bet."

For all her troubles, Chloe Winters loved a good bet.

~0~

Endless huffs and groans carried out from the compound's training room. Some of them were a bit worrisome and others made it sound like there was a child or rather an angry teenager who wasn't getting her way. Bucky wasn't sure if it was normal to immediately recognize those sounds but the reality is that he did, and perfectly too. He could've walked away - or he could've kept walking - but he didn't. With a heavy sigh, he came into the right room - a training room - and found Chloe resting her head against a a long, black staff. She was frustrated.

She was obviously training, or perhaps trying to, he'd caught her a few times in the room with Dimples. Today it seemed like she was on her own. She was wearing fitted black pants and a black jacket with the outstanding silver zipper in the middle. Her long hair was parted into two double-dutch braids that ended at the nape of her neck. Even upset she still looked—

"I can feel you staring," her eerie calm voice actually startled him. The irony.

"Sorry, I was—"

Chloe pulled her head from the staff and looked his way with sharp eyes. "Watching me fail? Yeah, I think you've been getting a show from me lately." She turned completely to face him.

"I already told you that you did nothing wrong—"

Chloe waved him off. "Fine, fine. But listen," she twirled the staff in her hand around, "Can you just tell Steve that you decided you didn't want to continue with the sessions? Because if he asks me one more time what happened, I'm going to forget that I love him dearly and I'm going to kill him."

As much Bucky fought the urge to — and he really did fight it — his lips curved into a smile that soon turned into an actual chuckle.

"Don't laugh!" Chloe pointed at him but her own growing smile defeated the purpose of her scold. "I mean it. He's been driving me crazy with all these questions. And don't even give me the crap that I stand no chance against the Captain America because I swear to you that I would find a way."

"I have no doubt that you would," Bucky's words were honest and he only realized it after he'd said them. For some reason, instead of things being chill and distant between them, everything seemed to melt away. He eyed the staff she was holding a bit too tightly. "Are you alright?"

Knowing where his attention had gone to made Chloe pull the staff behind her back as if that would completely hide it from view. "Let's just say that I may have made a bad decision..."

"I think I'm no stranger to that." He should stop talking and leave but his feet were glued to his current spot. It became permanent when Chloe smiled at his comment.

"Sorry," she bit her lower lip. "I know that given your situation, you must think that my problems are petty..."

"I don't," Bucky shook his head. He didn't blame her for her thought logic but he most certainly wasn't going to let her believe it was true. "What's bothering you?"

Chloe upheld his gaze until the warmth on her face got the best of her. She appreciated his interest even when things between them weren't as great as they could've been. "It's this bet I made with Sam. I'm supposed to beat him at a spar using—" she brought the staff from her back for show, "—this. But here's the thing..." Her entire face fell flat. "I suck." Once more, Bucky lost the battle with against laughing. Chloe tried her best not to look as irritated as she would've been had somebody else laughed at her. "I'm not kidding! Staffs just aren't my thing."

"Then how exactly have you been putting up a fight?"

"I used to be a gymnast when I was younger so I've sort of transferred some of those moves into my fighting skills. Plus, I know combat I just...don't do well with staffs for some reason." She narrowed her eyes at the staff beside her. "I hate them."

"Why'd you bet with him in the first place, then?"

"Because I make bad decisions!"

This time Bucky didn't laugh but he couldn't say the same about the smiling. He just couldn't stop. He was used to doing a lot of fighting but he was beginning to suspect that this one wasn't going to be so easily won. In fact, when he volunteered himself to give Chloe pointers and she beamed...the fight was nearly lost.

"So what exactly is this bet anyways?" He asked after she'd handed him her staff. "And how do I make sure that Sam loses?"

Chloe laughed. It was angelic too. Goddammit this is ridiculous, Bucky inwardly huffed. Maybe he was exaggerating or something — nobody could sound that type of beautiful by just laughing.

"Well, if he wins then I have to be that wing-woman I said I'd never be and go dancing with him," she explained, completely missing the deep frown that crossed Bucky's face.

"Dancing?" How exactly was that supposed to help anyone?

"It's this ruse we both do when we want make someone jealous," Chloe shrugged. "Last time, I scored a date with a CEO guy. Didn't last but you get the idea. It works."

"Yeah..." Bucky struggled to keep his teeth from visibly gritting together. How could he hate an idea so much when he wasn't even involved?

"And if I win, then he buys me dinner from my favorite place."

"Doesn't sound like he's giving up much," Bucky said, barely hiding the sour tinge in his tone.

Chloe smirked. "That place is extremely expensive. I like expensive things. And be assured that if I win, I will make him spend hundreds of dollars."

"But you said you're not good..."

"Right. So I'm going to need those pointers of yours." Chloe made a gesture with her hand for Bucky to get started. She was all ears.

"I need to see how you're fighting with a staff before I give any advice," he tossed her the staff back and watched her fumble to catch it. "Well, there's one thing right there."

At his subtle teasing, she brandished the staff at him like it was a sword. "Watch it," she warned, her eyes slightly narrowing. "I told you that I"m not an idiot. I don't know how to fight with a staff all that well but I do know some things."

"Let me see them."

"...what?"

"Let me see what you're doing." Bucky pulled his arms behind his back and put on a stance of waiting.

Chloe lifted an incredulous eyebrow at him. He was serious. "In the history of an unfair fight, this—" her finger switched between him and her, "—takes the cake. You're not doing this to me."

"Just do it."

Chloe huffed but prepared herself for an attack. She wouldn't dream of winning against him but the least she could do was give him a good whack for pulling this on him. When she went in for the first try, Bucky easily deflected it and still took notice of her mistakes. One of the first things he noticed — and perhaps was most amused by — was her easily irritability. She wasn't huffing nor growling but her face was as red as tomatoes each time he took the upper-hand.

He finally grabbed the staff when it almost hit the side of his head but even that wasn't very strong either. He swiftly snatched it from her hand and brandished it against her forehead. "You're dead," he announced.

She rolled her eyes and pushed the staff off her. "Tell me something I don't know. Sam's going to kick my ass and I'll have to be his wing-woman. Don't be fooled, there's a lot to the job."

"You don't need to become better overnight, you just need to know enough to beat him."

"And how do I do that?" Instead of verbally answering her, he wielded the staff against her but before he actually did anything with it, she pushed it aside. "I don't care if you were the Winter Soldier, if you actually hurt me I will get you back for it. It might not be now nor that obvious, but I did grow up with an older brother so I know my way around tricks."

At this point, Bucky wouldn't even try to hide his amusement. He laughed. Chloe smiled triumphantly. She'd been working her way to that line and it felt good seeing it pay off. She hadn't seen his charming smile but hearing his laugh was just as good. She wondered how he sounded back before anything happened to him. It must have been nice to see.

She cleared her throat when the warmth on her face was too much. "So, tips?"

Bucky nodded. "The trick to this is simple—"

"I'm sure," she folded her arms, smirking when he rolled his eyes at her.

"Stop trying to learn all these different moves to win. You only need two max."

"Okay, so what would you recommend?"

"Like I said, something simple. I'm guessing that because Sam knows you're, uh, not that good with the staffs, he won't be expecting you to actually do something. He'll most likely watch you fumble and maybe laugh a bit—"

Chloe's face had fallen flat the moment he stated going off on that tangent. "Anytime you want to actually show me something would be great." She saw the smirk on Bucky's face too late. The staff had suddenly come across her legs and knocked her flat on her back. Just as she raised her head, the staff pushed against her throat.

"That good enough for you?" He looked down at her with such a sarcastic expression that in that moment, Chloe forgot all about charming nonsense and glared with glowing blue eyes.

"Some people have the courtesy to point this—" she tapped the staff, "—at your chest, not your throat! That hurts!"

"It's what anyone would expect," Bucky pulled the staff from her throat and offered her his flesh hand instead. "But you can't deny and say that it's not simple enough. You can definitely get it."

Chloe took his hand and was easily pulled to her feet. "Did you forget the part where I don't own any of that super soldier strength? You have seen Sam, right? I didn't fight in a war - I was a gymnast for God's sake! I still am but with an alien Hive Mind inside my head!"

"Don't sell yourself short, Chloe," Bucky said, earnestly. "I've seen your fighting skills and they are good. You just can't be good at everything." That would make her insanely perfect. "But you can beat Wilson. I know you can."

Chloe blushed all of a sudden. Stop that, she snapped at herself. It was one thing to think about smiles and another to, well...do that. He wouldn't be the first man to 'believe in her' - this was the home of the Avengers. Steve Rogers was chock-full of 'believe in you' speeches and Tony wasn't that far behind (in his own spectacular way he delivered the speeches just as fine as Steve did).

But she met Bucky's gaze and felt her entire body warm up.

"So, um...what-what do you think I should do?" She asked. She crossed her arms over her chest as she fought the inner battle of her self-consciousness.

"Exactly what I just did. Use the sweep strike first then the downward thrust. You can't do the latter if you don't do the former. Try it," he tossed her the staff which she barely caught. "And use all of your strength. You should be fine with one blow because the staffs are pretty dense themselves. Try it."

Chloe clutched the staff with both of her hands. "I swear to God if you laugh—"

"Why would I laugh?" The smile on his face betrayed his intentions.

"How the hell are you friends with Steve Rogers, a.k.a. the nicest man on the planet?"

"I'm not nice?"

Chloe took all her annoyance and put it into her moves. She swept the staff down below but instead of doing what had been done to her, Bucky grasped the staff and used his grip on it to pull her towards him. She yelped when her entire body did a spin and her back hit Bucky's chest. "What the fuck just happened?" Her wide eyes blinked several times.

She felt Bucky's body rumble behind her as he laughed. She looked at their position, still trying to figure out how the hell it happened. His metal arm was wrapped around her waist while his other hand held onto her staff. As annoyed — and confused — as she was, there was a mighty tingle that ran down her back. If she stayed perfectly still, she could feel his breath tickling the side of her neck from his laughter. It seemed like she had a very good talent at making him laugh. She'd take it.

"Having fun there, Sergeant?" She looked up at him with a smirk on her face.

"Maybe," he admitted. He was. He really, really was. It was the first time he had a good laugh since...a very long time ago. He met Chloe's waiting gaze and found her delightfully close. Her pink lips were still curled into an alluring smirk that was begging for someone to cover with their own. He swallowed hard. That'd been a very dangerous thought.

"Glad to hear it," Chloe whispered, sounding a bit distant. Apart from the charming smiles and laugh, she was discovering the blue of his eyes. She was at a much better angle to gaze into them and she was not disappointed.

Someone cleared their throat at the head of the room, breaking them apart in a second. Bucky thanked his lucky stars that it was Dimples and not Steve because he wouldn't hear the end of it.

"I came to see if you needed some help with that stupid bet you made with Sam," Seren awkwardly folded her arms over her chest.

"I got it, thanks," Chloe was quick to say with a tight smile. Goodbye is what she wanted to say. Unfortunately, things went in a very different direction.

"I tried giving her some advice, but feel free to help her," Bucky pulled his arm from Chloe and handed her the staff back.

"Bucky, wait—" Chloe reached out for him but he was already crossing the room. She groaned as soon as he was gone. "Well thanks a lot, Seren!"

The ginger lifted an incredulous eyebrow at her. "What?" She didn't know whether to laugh or not. "I just wanted to help—"

"You could've helped by keeping your orange head out of this!"

"Chloe!" Seren frowned, one of her hands raising to her ginger hair. "That's not nice."

"Go tell Steve or something."

Seren rolled her eyes. "Chloe, you can't do that."

"Do what?"

"That. Whatever I just walked into, it shouldn't be happening." Seren shook her head, putting on that motherly tone Chloe often came across with. "It's not right and you should be focused on helping Bucky."

"Yeah, well, he didn't seem so against being that close," Chloe smirked.

"Chloe," sighed Seren. "I just feel like Bucky has a lot to deal with and you should try to help him not..." Her hands did an awkward gesture that had Chloe nearly laughing, "...you know...try to kiss him or something!"

"Oh, but would that be so bad?" Chloe bit on her lower lip. The more she considered the idea, the more inclined she was to it.

"Oh Chloe, don't set yourself up to get hurt," Seren genuinely wished her friend would think things through before she tried to do anything. She could only hope that Chloe would heed her advice.

~ 0 ~

He'd seen Chloe kick Sam's ass and seeing Sam's stunned face was such a priceless moment that Bucky would be placing it at the top of his best memories. Chloe had been so proud of herself that even the loser himself had to laugh with her in the end. He offered Chloe to buy her dinner there and then and while it had been a purely platonic offer, it fouled Bucky's mood in a second. He didn't want to admit it but somewhere inside he knew he seethed with jealousy that someone else had the opportunity to buy Chloe dinner and he couldn't.

It was just one of the many opportunities he'd lost because of Hydra. Losing himself was always the biggest loss he suffered but now that he was 'back' to the world, living decently he started discovering that there were other losses he hadn't even considered. Taking a girl out to dinner was just one of those losses he was discovering. And it hurt. For centuries the only pain he felt was an physical one and somehow that seemed to pale in comparison. This type of hurt was carried around all day, all the time, and enhanced whenever she was around. He could be near her for a few minutes before he had to make himself scarce to avoid any trouble.

Chloe noticed straightaway. She had hoped that after their moment training things would be better for them, maybe even their sessions would start again. She just didn't understand what the hell was going on with him. She started to think that Seren was right — Bucky simply had too much going on and she couldn't get mad at that. If anything, she just wanted to help him. Because as much as he tried avoiding her, she could tell when his thoughts were getting to him. It actually pained her to see him in pain.

You're going to drive yourself crazy if you keep going on this path, she inwardly sighed. She had to face facts. Whatever problem Bucky had with her, she would never find out. She simply had to move past it.

But as soon as she walked into the lounge room and saw Bucky pacing back and forth with a clear problem on his mind, she knew that it was going to be impossible. His pacing was slightly heavy with his feet dragging here and there. It was like whatever was going through his head was distracting enough to interrupt his walk.

"Bucky?" She called but, unsurprisingly, he didn't even notice she'd come in. She heard him muttering things but couldn't make out what he was saying. "Hey, Bucky!"

He said nothing but did wave her off, and rather harshly too. Chloe didn't think it was on purpose — something bad was occupying his mind and if she could take a guess, she'd pick Hydra as the number one option.

If she could see in his mind at that moment she would catch all the flashes of dark moments passing through his head. He'd been lucky enough to have most of these episodes at night (never mind sleeping) but today...he wasn't that fortunate. He couldn't rid himself of the flashes, the voices, the blood. It was overwhelming him.

"Bucky, c'mon!" Chloe sprinted towards him, catching him just as he turned around. "What's the matter—"

"I need to be alone!" He practically yelled.

"And I need to be stronger...apparently!" She said as he so easily walked her back in his pacing. "C'mon, talk to me!"

"I can't!" He finished his pacing once again and turned in the opposite direction.

Chloe watched him do two more rounds before she decided to help him whether or not he wanted it. He needed it. She waited for him to turn around again then promptly slapped her hands to his temples. Bucky blinked twice before a funny feeling came over him and his eyes fell shut. The 'funny feeling' wasn't anything to do with his latest affection for Chloe.

The memories started slowing down, giving him the chance to breathe for the first time since the last hour. He could see a warm blue glow around him that even though he had no idea what it was, it just made him feel good...relaxed. An odd faint noise filled his ears but it was difficult making out what it was.

"You're good, trust me," he perfectly heard Chloe's voice over the noise. He could open his eyes but for some reason he didn't want to; whatever power she had over him (her literal power) was much too peaceful to let go. With that mentality, his body easily followed her movements and before he knew it, she was gently sitting them on the couch, her fingers never once lifting from his temples.

"It's okay, you'll be okay," she whispered. He felt her forehead press against his just like she would in their sessions.

How long did he think he could escape anyways? She was just too close and...too helpful. As soon as he breathed in, he smelled her sweet floral scent again and that Moroccan hair perfume.

"Do you want to know something?" She suddenly asked and he was unsure whether or not it was to keep things from getting awkward or simply to share something to make him feel better. "The noise you hear? It's music."

"Is it alien?" The question slipped from him before he could realize. Still, it earned him one nice, soft laugh.

"No, it's completely human. These creatures I'm accidentally connected to...for some reason, when I feel them reaching out — whether or not they realize that I can feel them — and I know that they're in trouble, I just let them hear music. It seems to calm them down. I know it does the same for me when my head feels too crazy. Is it working for you too?"

"...yeah, actually, it is." Bucky could feel his mind clearing up little by little. Nothing was going at light speed anymore. His body was no longer tense...for the memories anyways. He opened his eyes to see Chloe with her own shut tight. She was deeply focused on the task. He'd spent a lot of time trying to avoid her so that this precise thing wouldn't transpire anymore...but he failed miserably. She was so close right now, one small movement and...

"I'm glad," she smiled lightly. "I told you that I knew a thing or two about having your mind invaded. I know that my troubles, my past, could never be as horrible as yours but trust me when I say that I would do anything to help you ease your pain. When Seren first found me, I was a wreck and she was so kind to me. She did everything she could to help me. I want to do that for someone too and despite your reservations about my abilities, I am happy that you gave me a chance for a time. I promise to do better."

"Chloe, I swear to you that I didn't end the sessions because of something wrong that you did."

Chloe finally opened her eyes to meet his. "Then why?" She whispered. "I thought...I thought we were doing good but then you..." She sighed. "You're honestly so confusing, and that's apart from everything else going on. You, as in you, are confusing me. One day you're helping me out win some bet and then you vanish from me."

"Yeah, I, uh, haven't been very clear..." And how could he be? He himself didn't know what the hell he was doing anymore. Like Chloe had said, that was apart from everything else. She herself was making him so confused. The sadder part was that no matter what he tried to do about it, it didn't help him in any way.

So really, what was the point in trying to do something about it if it wasn't yielding the results he needed? The words 'Just go for it' came too late as Bucky had already leaned forwards to kiss Chloe. She had a very small moment to be surprised about it before he was pulling away. Her blinking eyes locked with his. He was utterly guilt-ridden and yet, if he was being honest with himself, he wasn't sorry for doing it. He was merely sorry for whatever kindness Chloe would rescind from now on.

"I know, you're done," he started pulling her fingers off his temples when she yanked them out of his hands. He sighed. "It's why I avoi—"

"No, be quiet," she was quick to bring her hands to his face, her fingers spreading over his cheeks. "This is why we talk, dammit. Use words." Because if had used words to explain, then she could've very well skipped the quiet admiring thing she was trapped doing. She offered him a smile that may as well have been the faint music she'd played in his head to give the same peacefulness. She pulled one of her legs onto the couch as she shifted her body closer to his.

She pressed her lips against his for a kiss that promised to last longer than the first. Bucky's mind went soaring with new thoughts and feelings. His entire body felt a raging swarm of sparks that if he'd still been just his regular self in the 40s, he would've called crazy. There was no girl on the planet that could ever do all that with such a simple act.

As it turned out, there was.

He just had to go through a couple decades first.

But here she was in the end, giving him such delectable kisses. He couldn't get enough of her. Even when her body was against his, it wasn't enough. His arms wrapped around her waist to hold her. Her hands had come down from his face to his shoulders, gripping them as tightly as she could which wasn't a lot in comparison to his strength. He wouldn't comment on that. He loved feeling that urgency she had to hold him too. It wasn't as one-sided as he once thought.

But it's still not right! The sharp voice was quick to scold. It was enough of to yank him out of the moment.

Chloe missed the warmth as soon as his lips were gone. "Hold on—"

"It's not right, Chloe. I have no right pulling you into any of this. I'm the worst candidate for you—"

"I wasn't aware that I had candidates," she made a face.

"Trust me," Bucky ran a hand down a long curl of hers. "You definitely do and each one is a lot better than what you have in front of you. I'm nothing but darkness and you don't need that."

"I would appreciate if you gave me the power to choose what I want and don't want." In any other case, Chloe would've been nothing but irritated somebody was taking decisions for her but this wasn't any ordinary case. She had to tread carefully and most importantly not invalidate Bucky's feelings. "Listen to me," she once again shifted to get closer. Her hands cupped his face and tilted his head towards her. "You have done dark things but you are not dark." Bucky was midway scoffing when she gripped his head a little tighter, forcing his gaze to stay right on her. "You feel. Whether it's gloomy and grim, you feel. You have remorse for things that you had no control over and that's more than enough proof for me."

"I don't want to pull you down with me," he whispered. "I'm drowning."

"Oh honey, who says I'd let you drown?" She smiled at him, hoping to get one back from him too.

He didn't. In fact, he couldn't look at her. "I don't need you helping me out of any affection you think you might have."

"Don't go insulting me sweetheart. The reasons for my reservations on helping you came from a source of self doubt. I get a lot of things wrong around here. I'm sure you've heard about that already," Chloe swallowed roughly. "And even if I had any type of affection for you, it wasn't the reason why I wanted to help. You think Steve didn't tell us all about you before he brought you here? Hell, you think that the world didn't know who you were in the 40s? I knew that you were good, alright? I knew that you were a good person who bad stuff done to them. So let me keep helping, please."

Bucky finally looked at her and when he did, all that Chloe saw was 'why?'. Why bother to help him at all? She shook her head at him.

"Because you deserve help," she said simply. "And I would very much like to be the one to help. And along the way, if you'd like, we could have some dinner or something...?"

A light bemusement crossed Bucky's face. "Hold on...did you just ask me on a date?"

"Oh, that's all it took to get you out of your moment?" Chloe felt her face warm up to an insane point. She would absolutely take it. "Then yeah, I am. When you are ready, I would love to go on a date with you."

"Ah, doll face, you have no idea how much I'd like that." There was an underlying regret in his tone but Chloe wouldn't let him get away with it. She'd found what would help him get out of his 'gunk' and she would use every thing she had at her disposal.

"Doll face?" She grinned. "Is that my nickname? Did you finally come up with one for me?"

"No," he said and watched her pout dejectedly.

"What? Why not? I like it."

"Because...because I already had one for you way in the beginning." If he was finally putting everything out there, he might as well bring out the last bit.

"What is it, then?"

"Princess. And to be fair—" He started just as Chloe's eyebrows quirked into a not so pleased reaction, "—I thought of that the first time I met you. You were an absolute princess. Long, curly blonde hair and rosy cheeks? Are you kidding me?"

Chloe rolled her eyes but the playful smile on her face helped him relax. She wasn't going to be upset over it.

"You make the perfect facial expressions, and — no offence — but you kind of seemed like an air head in the beginning." He laughed when she gasped in offence and shoved him on the chest. "I was wrong, clearly!"

"You're a jerk! No—" she jabbed her finger to his chest each time she spoke, "—you're a flirt, a-a show off and I heard that you're a know-it-all too!"

"Stop talking to Steve about me!"

"Take the nickname back!"

"I don't think I will," he declared. And there went the adorable pout. "Because it's not all to do with your appearance anymore. You're a princess, and if I was lucky enough...I'd call you my Princess."

Chloe's face softened. "I'd like that," she whispered.

Bucky's gaze lowered. "Me too..."

"So let's take this step by step," Chloe's hands once more cradled his head. "Let's focus on your sessions. We can resume them and do everything we can to ease your recovery." Her fingers gingerly brushed her fingers through strands of his hair.

As much as he fought it, he let his eyes fall shut. She may have had the softest fingers and, well, he had a lot of fingers comb through his hair before the war happened. (He would never in his life admit that to her though, not unless he was suddenly stupid).

"Can we do that?" Chloe's voice filled his ears once more. "Help you?"

'Anything you want' nearly rolled off his tongue if he hadn't caught himself. His eyes snapped open and before he knew it, he was nodding. He wanted her and in order for that to happen, he needed to get better. He couldn't be anyone's 'someone' if he wasn't complete. He would dare to believe that he did deserve some type of help. He had to because then it would make no sense for him staying alive after so much.

"Help me please," he whispered.

Chloe smiled softly. "Of course. But can you do something for me first?"

"What?" He knew something good was coming the way she blushed in an instant.

"Can you...can you smile for me?" Her sheepish question was outright surprising.

"Smile?"

"It's just...I've seen countless pictures of you and people always said that you had a charming smile. Steve talked about it too. It's stupid, I know," she said, her eyes quickly darting to the side out of embarrassment.

While she was embarrassed, Bucky was soaring with smugness. "Really? Is that why you wanted to help me then? For one smile?"

"Shut up," she said quickly, her hand reaching up to her hair to tuck some of it behind her right ear. "Never mind. Let's just forget it and we can do another session or something."

"No, no," he reached out to her to stop her from getting off the couch. "You're doing so much for me, if I can pay with a smile then...why not?" He laughed.

Chloe blushed all over again but it all seemed to stop when he actually smiled at her. He did it with so much ease that she wondered at what point did he learn how to do it. Was he a young boy? Probably. It had to be.

"So c'mon, Princess, can I squeeze in a session right now?" He had the audacity to ask sweetly. He knew exactly what he was doing and Chloe would make a note to get him back for it later. "Well—"

Chloe practically lunged on him, her lips landing perfectly against his. Bucky swiftly caught her by the waist and pressed his metal hand against her back. He met her hungry kisses and matched them with his own. Neither really considered the idea that their impromptu makeout session could be cut short if someone were to walk in on and find them in their compromising positions. Chloe threw that thought out the moment she was able to wrap her legs around Bucky's waist and felt his hands roam her body. There was no concept of 'space' for either of them. All they knew was that they needed to be close to each other as possible and they suspected that this would be the reality for a long, long time.

Author's Note:

I swear that I'm trying to get my ideas sorted for this fandom and I'm not just writing crap. It just takes a while.

#ocappreciation #marvel #mcu #marvel imagines #bucky barnes imagines #mcu imagines #avengers imagines #oc: chloe winters

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