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#these do look good despite my long break from the style

a-hazbin-reader · 3 months

Note

how about a reader who's been feeling pretty overworked recently?and just needs to rest but is to stubborn to Al does something about it?

Now it's Alastor's turn to pamper~

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: None I think??

Description: ☝️⬆️

You've been going nonstop all week and it's been taking it's toll on you physically and mentally

There's so much that needs done and you're only one person, you don't have time to sit and relax

Which means you're unintentionally taking time with you away from Alastor

Not his ears drooping and folding back when he realizes you're going to turn him down

"I'm so sorry, Alastor, I'm just too tired to go out and I really need to finish this."

"Y/N, it's our date night and I insist that you-"

"I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you later, I promise."

But you pass out and Alastor has to carry you to bed, hating that you're so overworked right now, that you have no time to spare for him

Which in his deer brain, means that you're neglecting him because you're so fried from work

And that means he's gotta fix this

But you're stubbon and won't relax willingly so he's got to get creative

"Darling, won't you take this bubble bath with me? I need help getting my back~"

🥵🥵 s-sure

He takes special care to massage and scrub every part of you until you're a gooey mess in his hands

Despite his claws, he can be surprisingly gentle, it's rather soothing to feel them ghosting over your skin

It's not until later when your back is against his chest and he's kissing your shoulder that you realize he's been spoiling you the entire time

Literally carries you to bed bridal style and dries your body with a loving reverence that makes you blush

"Alastor, I can do this myself-"

"Hush now, let me do this for you..."

Rubs fancy lotions and creams into your skin, massaging until you inevitably fall asleep under his care

Nobody is allowed to wake you or bother you at all for the time being, he'll make sure of it

He finds excuses to interrupt you during your work, forcing you to take breaks

"Darling, I accidentally made too much jambalaya! So I thought I might bring you some as I am quite sure you haven't eaten today~"

"Alastor, I don't have time to-that smells really good..."

It's so good you could cry, devouring the entire thing while he stays and has lunch with you, turning it into a mini date

You didn't even realize how tense were before Alastor showed up, feeling full and relaxed after he gives you a parting kiss

You really don't want him to go, watching him leave with a longing expression

Not him purposefully stealing something you need so that you have no choice but to seek him out

"Have you seen my folder? I can't get back to work without it!"

"Hm? I can't say that I have, but have you seen what a beautiful day it is outside? Why not just skip work today, and we'll take a stroll through Cannibal Town?"

Won't take no for an answer, already looping his arm with yours and marching you outside

It is actually a beautiful day outside

Takes you to all your old haunts and spends all day buying anything you even look at

It feels good to catch up with Rosie and some of your old friends, not having realized how long it's been since you've seen them

He also takes you out dancing, which leaves you tired and sore, but in the best way possible, he was always exciting to dance with

Will carry you home if he has to, will actually find an excuse to do so

"Do your feet hurt? Here, let me carry you~"

You pass out before he puts the blanket over you, soothed by his scent on your pillow

It's not until later when you wake up to him putting your folder back in your bag that you realize what he's been up to

"Alastor..?"

Oh fuck he's been caught

"Darling! I was just-cleaning off your bag and-"

"...just shut up and come back to bed..."

Literally climbs right on top of you and flops on you like he's your own personal weighted blanket

Kissing your neck and shoulders before whispering into your ear with a slightly guilty voice

"Are you angry with me?"

"Mm...not if you keep giving me attention like this..."

Well, he wouldn't want his darling Y/N to start getting angry with him now, would he?

The next day you feel more renewed and refreshed than you have in weeks, waking up tangled in Alastor's arms

You chuckle softly and push some of his hair out of his (totally not pretending) sleeping face, admiring his handsome features

He's a sneaky man who tricks you into relaxing and taking time for yourself because he loves you

And you love him all the more for it

This one was too cute! I hope you like it

#hazbin hotel x reader #alastor hazbin hotel x reader #alastor hazbin x reader #alastor x reader #hazbin x reader

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moumouton4 · 10 months

Text

Things That Might Be Said When You're Going At It With Them || Demon Slayer characters x fem!reader

A/n : Let's see if I can write for Demon Slayer as well 👀

A/n 2 : Of course Muichiro is aged up. I mean we write for Bakugo or Todoroki as long as they are aged up so I don't see why we couldn't for Muichiro 🤷‍♀️

Warnings : Nsfw, penetrative sex, belly bulge, size kink, rough sex, vanilla sex, riding, mention of breeding, 18+ READERS ONLY and wrap it before you tap it

Masterlist ⚜

I don’t give permission to repost my work, if you want to share it just reblogue it

Word count : 1322

Giyuu Tomioka : It's likely that he's so stressed that you end up whispering in his ear "Don't worry about anything my love. Just move those hips and make yourself feel good" to get him to focus on something other than his intrusive thoughts. However, sometimes the situation can be reversed depending on whether his mind is clouded by desires. Once he even said "Is it my breathing style that is making you this wet ?" Bruh the audacity he can have when he drops his inibitions "No you don't need it for that. It's only your doing" you said making him blush while his confidence skyrocketed. Now that he was at ease you were in for a good fuck / lovemaking, depending on how you guys decided to take it.

Obanai Iguro : Despite his shyness, he had managed to navigate a relationship with you. However, the vision he had of his appearance proved to be a challenge to handle. You gently caught his jaw in your hand before saying "You can kiss me Obanai. I don't care about those scars. I have my share too" There was also that time when you were naked in front of each other ready to delve into your deepest passion but before he told you "I've taken the day off and I intend to take my time with you...if you'll allow me" by accepting you didn't know that 4 hours later he'd still be thrusting carefully and sensually into you. Well he is related to snakes so... it can take some time.

Sanemi Shinazugawa : He can be very sweet in bed, but most of the time he ends up gripping your hips with his hands as he violently pounds into you "Hey hey careful there boy I still need to walk tomorrow" and that's when he adds "Or I could carry you all day. I put up with your ass every day that's the same" he would add playfully. But he's not always like that sometimes his voice breaks the successions of groans and moans and he asks in full vulnerability "Can you hold me a little tighter please ?" and in moments like that when he just needs to feel you there, your heart swells with love for him as you tighten your grip on him, grounding him in the current moment.

Tengen Uzui : This guy and his size kink belly. Sometimes he puts his large hand on your tummy just to feel his shaft move inside you "Tengen you're liking this a bit too much" you teased when you felt him throb inside of you just after he felt the slight bulge in your belly. He gave you back his signature wide grin "Of course I like it ! To have a partner who can take me as well as you is... flamboyant !" he said the last word breathlessly. Then he looked at you a little more seriously and caringly "Do you think I could speed it up a bit ?" he really wanted to make sure he wasn't hurting you. You wrapped your legs around him before answering "Go ahead mister show me how flashy you can be" and with that you were sure he wasn't going to hold anything back.

Muichiro Tokito : Even though he used to have memory troubles, there was one thing he never forgot, and that was how to make you feel good. Thanks to physical memory. As his hips worked meticulously to hit that spot over and over again you whined "Please h-honey" he immediately understood from the urgency in your voice and the way you spasmed around him that you were close. He tried to unhook your legs which were wrapped around his waist "Spread your legs Y/n let me rub your clitoris" he said gently. Of course it only took a few seconds for you to obey, knowing that once again he was going to bring you to ecstasy. When he felt you tighten up he asked "Does that feel good ?" and when you only responded with a little whine he pressed on your clit making you buck your hips upwards. He was such a tease sometimes but at the end he always fulfilled the mission he'd set himself.

Tanjiro Kamado : He's so good and soft, it's like making love to a cloud - if that's even possible lmao. You've said to him several times "You know you can go harder Tanjiro I ain't gonna break '' and each time he completes your requests as if that's all he was waiting for. But he's still the most caring person you've ever meet, sometimes a little too much "Y/n is everything all good ? Do you need a break ?A glass of water ?" and sometimes you have to stifle your chuckles or prevent the side eye "You've just put the tip don't worry I can take way more of you" and that's all it takes to get him off to a flying start.

Genya Shinazugawa : Even if he wanted you so much, you don't even know how the heck you managed to get him in your bed. He is so fucking flustered when he's talking to you. So naturally in bed he is more than his usual stuttering mess "Genya please move" you whined. With his voice husky with desire he replied "I-I j-just don't wa-wanna ngh... come y-yet" he knew you wouldn't mind and that he would be able to satisfy you in another way but he had a certain pride in making you come first. So his hand moved down between your two bodies and began to make faster and faster circles on your clit. He grunted as he felt you tighten around him, but with deep breaths he managed to bring you to the brink of orgasm before he pounded into your tight warmth, leading you both to the release you'd been waiting for.

Inosuke Hashibira : The first time was pretty memorable, you remember having to explain to him why you were doing it "Ino it's another way of showing that we love each other. We're not doing it just to create a pack" and he deadpeaned "But one day we'll make one right ?" Bro was just so cute "Sure baby" you said, caressing his cheek as he thrusted gently and carefully into you. "I-I think I understand what you meant" he said bringing a big smile onto your face which he couldn't help but reciprocate.

Zenitsu Agatsuma : Bro is so loud man that's crazy. When you ride him you have to put a pillow on his mouth because the whole Demon Slayer Corps is going to hear how tight you are "Please pretty boy can you tone it down a little. Someone's going to be attracted by all this noise" you slowed your movements to talk to him "But Y/n-chaaaaan you feeel so soooo goooood !!!" he said as loud as ever. If you wanted him to calm down you had to make him feel even better than better, so sex drunk he'd not be able to talk anymore. You put your thumb in his mouth and with your other hand grabbed the base of his cock before squeezing it as you rolled your hips towards his. It wasn't long before his screams were replaced with little squeaks, his hips bucking to meet yours, your thumb securely wrapped between his lips.

Muzan Kibutsuji : You don’t know why and sometimes he tells you it may be because he was another man in a previous life but it doesn’t make it any clearer when he goes “Cause this is thriller, thriller night. And no one's gonna save you. From the beast about to strike” as he fucks you. You just hope he ain’t going to “Heee heee” when he cums.

A/n : I hope you guys liked it ! 🍗🍨 Again my requests are open 🌯🍩

A/n 2 : Yes the link in Muzan's part leads to Thriller 😂

Taglist : @foxxymunson, @cl0vr, @ilovemanypeople, @glossy1pearl, @jane57sstuff

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dark-night-hero · 5 months

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Imagine as you walked into the grocery store, pushing the cart in one hand and the other holding on into the little boy you are to look after for the day, your phone rings causing you to look at the little guy before he gives a nod, letting go of your hand and holding on into the cart as the two of you pushes it forward as you grab your phone with your empty hand.

"What's the matter?" You spoke as soon as you answered the call from Shoko. "You with Megumi?" "Yeah, Gojo left him with me, he and his lover was sent into different mission and there was no one to look after him. Why did you call?" "Just checking up on you.."

Imagine in the middle of your call, you realize something was missing. Megumi is missing. Where is Megumi? "Hey, I got to go." "Alright. Take care... Suguru was last spotted in there, that's what I actually wanted to say." "..." Then the call ended and you took a dep breath. So what if Suguru was last spotted in here? What's important is that you LOST Megumi. You're fucked. Though it would be refreshing seeing Gojo's reaction over this. Such a same he was out on a mission you couldn't even call him.

Imagine, the funny thing is that in the process of making your way into the customer service, you spotted a child, a little girl in the corner looking lost and guarded up. Looking left and right, making sure that you had it right that she was lost as a couple of adults passed by her with a care. You decided to approach the child. "Hello little one, are you lost?" As you get down on your knees to be on the same level as her, she backed down a bit, looking at you with trembling almost scared gaze that was soon filled with familiarity? Curiosity. "...Yes." She utter as she kept looking at you. "Well do you mind coming with me? I'm looking for my child too, lets go to the customer service together and wait for your parents to come and get you, hmm? How about that?" "... Okay." "Oh, I forgot to ask but you don't have to answer if you feel uncomfortable. What's your name?" "Mimiko..." "You have a beautiful name." You said with a smile and tap her in the head before offering a hand.

Imagine by the time you manage to make it to the customer service, cart on one hand full of grocery bags while the other was holding on into Mimiko, you spotted a little boy with a bored look in his face. It was Megumi. "Oh goodness, Megumi. I'm glad you're safe." You said with a smile on your face as you let go of the cart, keeping one hand into holding Mimiko while the other reach out to mess up Megumi's spiky styled hair. "You picked up another child on your way here?" "Darling, you are a child too, just where did you wander around to get lost?"

Imagine in the middle of giving information about the lost little girl with the people in the customer service. "Mimiko!" A familiar, a very familiar voice made you halt for a moment then you continue despite the fact that he just utter the name of the girl who was lost. For a moment, anger, rage filled your veins but you took a deep breath to calm yourself as you look at the two child close to you, Megumi holding the hem of your pants and Mimiko holding close to you like she was embarrassed.

"Mimiko! I told you strictly to stay by my side! Do you know how worried I a-!" "Mister, mind your tone, you're scaring the child." As much as you want to walk away, as much as you want to hold Megumi by his hand and pretend all of this isn't happening, the way the little girl, Mimiko was holding into your pants makes your heart ache. Funny a few moments ago, you were kind of resentful of her knowing this girl, this child was one of the reason, the breaking point of everything in which he end up turning his back to all of you, leaving you all alone.

"Who-- (Yo-Your name)." The words he was about to say as you turn around to face him. How long was it since he have seen you in person. No, wait. Is this a dream? It should be for there is no way on earth you are actually right in front of him. But you are, and he was aware of this, all of his senses were telling him you are in fact right in front of him, face to face, just within his reach. And as much as he want to pull you in his arms. He couldn't do that. He can't. Oh god. Oh god how much he was forcing himself to stay still, resisting ever muscle in his body to prevent himself from launching himself at you. It's been so long. It's only been months since he have left but damn, fuck, he missed you. And the fact that you are right in front of him and that he couldn't do a thing physically hurts him.

Imagine ignoring him, (eye color) iris looking down on the other looking similat to the girl on your side but with a different hair color. You gave her a smile before once again kneeling down next to the little girl on your side, Mimiko. "Darling? Why don't you go over Mister?" "..." "He didn't mean to get mad okay? He was just worried about you, it is also your mistake just like Megu over here that you stray away from your guardian okay?" "... really?" "Yes darling, really. Go over there to Mister, okay? I promise you, he's a good person, he's not going to get mad at you just because of a simple mistake."

Imagine, Suguru doesn't know what hurts him even more. The fact that you refuse to acknowledge him or the fact that you said he was a good person when he knows he's not. Not when it comes to the people he killed, not to those friends he have left and disappointed, and not to you whom he left with nothing, not even a word, he left and ever looked back even after all the things both of you have been through, even after all the love that was given. How could he still be a good person to you?

Imagine as Mimiko finally gain the courage to make it back to stay by his side. He watch you tap the two girl by his side, completely ignoring him or so he thought when his purple iris meeting a pair of (eye color) ones. The world around the two of you seems to stop as so much was said into the unsaid. Then you turn around, you turn around like you did not just ask him by the looks of your eyes which says 'You're not going to chase after me, will you?'

Imagine as you walked away, hand holding on into Megumi's little hands and the other still pishing the cart out of rhe grocery. You stop but did not turn around. "Suguru." Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He almost replied back to you by mistake. "This day never happened." Funny as it may sound, he too agreed this day never happened. But it already happened. "Also." This time you glance back slightly. "That's a nice twin girls you got there, take a good care of them. Okay?" "I think I'm doing a great job actually." "Good." He basically choses them over you, that should be the right answer for both of you but why does it hurt?

"Are you okay?" The little hand tried squeeze your big ones causing you to chuckle. "I'm okay." "..." "I'm okay Megu." You gave his little hand a squeeze back. But you're crying is what Megumi wants to stay but could only shut his mouth, hoping his little yet gentle presence might be enough for you to calm down. It did help, and you're very much appreciative of it. But knowing you aren't enough to make him stay and that once again you were hoping he would chase after you but never did. Hurts. It hurts like shit.

[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2023°

: honestly super close into making an actual series of Geto x Reader but im fucking busy at the moment, fuck college. Also I got reslly inspired bu this TIKTOK fanart so I decided to make this.

#dark night hero #geto suguru imagines #geto suguru x reader #geto x reader #jujutsu geto #jjk geto #geto suguru #geto angst #geto suguru angst #suguru angst #jujutsu x reader #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu angst #jjk angst #jjk imagines #jjk x reader

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daddy-suguru · 1 year

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she’s mine and oh so fine

Your lacking of confidence just won't do. Not when you should know how beautiful you are.

✑ tags: f!insecure!reader, begging, praise, dacryphilia, Eren call you sugar mama since you give him that sweet pussy, edging, mirror sex, doggy style, mating press, lingerie, daddy/doll/crybaby (used affectionately), teasing/some embarrassment, just the tip, vibrating wand, homemade smut video, overstimulation, mind-break, brat used affectionately, squirting, cockwarming

✑ reposting from my banned page

Toji

Every teasing, slow roll of his hips through your slick lips stops just shy of your clit. Your pussy throbs from the ache. Fluttering every time his tip caught on your Toji when he pushes his cock up.

You're making his cock throb, displaying your pussy to him in a mating press. With your sheer skirt bunched up around your squishy hips. While the lace of your top cupping your breasts, giving him glimpses of your nipples.

Splaying his fingers on your navel, pressing down. Whining, pouting as Toji shakes his head, more long strands of his dark hair falling into his dark chocolate eyes. Assuring you,

"Beg and Daddy will make it happen. I promise you, I'll take good care of you doll and your princess pussy." Tears blur Toji hovering over you, roll down your cheeks. Fumbling over your words, pleading,

"Please Daddy!" Your thick voice scraping your ears. Biting your bottom lip, trying to grind your pussy on his cock. Desperate for him to rub your clit just once. His weight keeps you from doing more than trembling.

Smirking while insisting, "I can't tell what my sexy crybaby needs unless you say it." Closing your eyes, heat flushes through your body. Lifting his cock up, slapping your pussy roughly, pressing his large palm against your pussy.

Soothing the sting as he grinds his palm on your clit. Reminding you, "I love the look on your face when you beg. Look me in the eye." Smearing your slick along his cock, twisting his fist and groaning,

"I'll jerk off over your pussy and go watch tv if you take too long to beg." Rubbing your nipple through the lace. The warmth of his touch seeping through.

Yet without his roughness of calloused fingertips, it isn't enough. Arching into his hand, he pulls away. Requesting with a breathy whine,

"Take my lingerie off, please Daddy." He waits and you ramble, "I want to feel your large, rough hands on my body while you fuck me." Pushing your hips down, as he lines himself up.

Relaxing into the bed, groaning as he rolls his hips slowly. Nudging his cock past your lips. Pulling away when you try to take more than his tip. Whining,

"Please, I begged!" You're too perfect not to keep teasing. Greeting him at the door in a white lacy, flowy baby doll lingerie. The moment he saw you, flustered and dressed up for him. With your panties already soaking wet.

Massaging your nipple, while deciding, "Can't, you're too beautiful dolled up. And I'm already fucking you with just my tip. What more do you want?" Dipping his head, sucking on your other tit. Sucking softly, pressing the soft lace into your nipple.

Satoru

Swirling the wand on your clit, sending intense pleasurably painful waves throughout your body. While Satoru's tight grip on your hip keeps you from pulling away.

Turning the intensity of the wand up as you cum. Quivering, and mewling, while fat tears roll down your face, tugging on his hand. Whining,

"Can't Ru! Please give me a break! I-!" Your words become incoherent moans as it getting harder to think. Your brain failing to do more than process the overwhelming feeling Satoru is endlessly building.

Drawing another orgasm from you despite your belief that you can't cum again so soon. It's like your pussy won't stop, thick clear cum gushing from between your thighs.

Soaking Satoru's long, veiny cock, which jerks upwards inside of you. His tip rubbing your cervix. "Fuck I love feel your pussy throbbing around my cock when your squirt." Your mouth drops open, and he can barely make out his name.

Satoru chuckles, his chest rumbling. He croons. "I told you either you would give in and tell me how beautiful you are. Or I would break your silly little mind. Now tell me, who's a pretty stubborn brat for me?"

The moment he saw that doubting look you had cast on yourself in the mirror. He refused to let it go. You are going to see yourself through his eyes.

After relentless compliments and kisses failed, Satoru playing videos of you, making you watch while he gets you drunk off pleasure, overstimulating you till your stubborn mind breaks. And you give in.

Babbling the words, "I'm your beautiful stubborn brat! Please I'm so pretty getting my pussy stuffed with your long, yummy cock. Need you Ru!" He pulls the wand off your pussy, clicks it off, throwing it back onto the bed.

You can't look away from the tv. Showing one of many videos of you getting pounded from Satoru's point of view. Jealousy flickers through you as you watch Satoru grab your wrist in the video. Using it to fuck himself into you harder, deeper.

The mix of groans and squelch of your pussy is softer than your loud cries as you whine, "Please want to be your pretty cum stuffed brat!" Lifting you off his cock, throwing you onto your back. He grabs your thighs, and yanks your hips to the edge of his bed.

Grabbing his cock, lining himself up. Admitting "I've jerked off to that video more than any other. Porn is so boring now. Only the sight of your pretty face and wet pussy can make me cum. I should send you those cum shots more often. Make sure you never have a chance to ever stubbornly doubt how sexy you are."Nudging his hot head through your lips, rubbing your clit. Then sliding himself back down, rolling his hips forward.

Eren

Slipping his fingers out of you, spreading them apart. While watching your slick stretch till it breaks between his fingers. As you whine into the blanket, Eren smacks roughly smack both cheeks.

Softly rubbing the stinging handprints in between each hit. Until you reach back, and he grabs your wrist. Tugging your face out of the blanket, pulling your ass flush against his thighs.

Eren smirks at the sight of your tears. In any other situation, he would worry. In the bedroom is the only time he strove to make you cry. Your whines are so much sweeter when you're overstimulated. Crying that he's too much.

Commanding in his deep, smooth voice, "Sugar mama you better watch me when I'm fucking into your thick head how beautiful you are." Squeezing your hip. Sliding his hand up to your breasts.

Softly massaging one of your nipples. Wrapping his other hand around his cock, slowly pumping his fist. Smearing your slick over his head before lining himself up. Demanding,

"Admit it." There is a burning heat between your lungs unlike anything else before. Every time Eren would stop, it grew. Leaving you wound up so tightly if he touches your pussy again, you'd burst.

Studying yourself in the mirror. Your messy face smudged with lipstick and running mascara. There is a needy desperation in your tearful eyes. And your quivering body bent over in front of Eren screams submission.

Caving, admiring yourself in the mirror. Breathing, "I'm a beautiful woman." Looking into Eren's hooded green eyes while pleading, "I said it! Please just let me cum on your cock" He lines his cock up, swirling his tip. Not even giving you half of his head.

Crying loudly, " I can't wait anymore longer it hurts. I need to cum. I'm the prettiest girlfriend you've ever had. And one day I'll be your sexy baby mama." Hot tears trickle down your cheeks. And your lips part in an o as Eren slowly pushes his hips forward.

Shoving his cock deeper, watching your pussy spread. Groaning, "That my sexy sweet baby mama. Hmmmnn I love spitting her open, watching my cock sink deep into your pussy. So soft and wet.” Grinding his hips against your, rubbing his head against your sponges cervix.

Eren grabs your throat, pressing his fingers in tightly. Keeping your body from boucing forward from the force of his thrust. Eren groans,

“Made to take my fat cock, I’m fillin’ her up perfectly." Sliding his hand down from your chest to your hip. Holding your body tightly to his, as he moves off the bed. Standing in front of the mirror, holding you off the floor.

Smirking as he marvels at the sight of your body held against his. Sliding his hand down to your thigh. Lifting your thigh, showing your stuffed pussy. And his dripping wet balls.

Insisting, "Look at her, so fuckin' sexy!" His voice drops. "Sugar mama tell Daddy what you see." Pulling his hips back, till his head almost slips out. He stays with his the tip inside your throbbing pussy. Waiting for your answer.

Kento

Clenching Kento's fingers as he massages your g-spot with two large fingers. Rubbing slow, soft circles into your sore clit. Fresh fat tears roll down your cheeks while your cream gushes into Kento's hand.

Crying, yanking on Kento's tie, which binds you to his headboard. He demands, "Say the number brat." Sucking on your clit, flicking it with the tip of his tongue. Twisting your hips, ripping your clit from his mouth. Without slipping his fingers all the way out.

Kento easily shoves your hips back into place with one large hand. Slipping a third finger past your lips while you whine, "Fiiiveee!" His thick fingers, stroking your squishy insides. Stretching you out as much as his cock.

Pleading with Kento, "Can't cum! Daddy please I can't cum again." Pumping his fingers faster, making a loud squelch fill his bedroom. Rubbing quick soft circles into your clit. The pleasurable pain twisting the ball in your gut tighter.

Reminding you with a sharp tone, "Brat you don't get to call me that." Moving his thumb from your clit. Wrapping his lips around your clit, spelling his name into your clit. Lingering the last letter.

Quickly apologizing, "Sorry sir. I'm sorry I-fuuuck!" The string of moans has Kento smirking. "It's hard to! Kento! Please fuck! It's aah- want your cock. Please I'm pretty, that's why you can't keep your hands offffff meee! Please! I can't!" Thick clear slick gushes from your pussy.

Kento replaces his fingers with his tongue. Loudly groaning as he slurps your cum. Which keeps squirting onto his face, as your pussy spasms around his tongue. Your body goes limp, unable to run away from Kento's tongue.

Slowly pulling away as you slick trickles down to a drip. He croons, "That wasn't so hard was it my love? You should know how breathtaking you are.” Kissing your clit. “Such pretty pussy and it’s all for daddy isn’t it?”

Mikasa

Groping her soft breast while pumping the dildo past her lips. You want to touch her, to feel her plush, heavy tits. Her pale pink nipples puffy and suck-able. Begging Mikasa,

"Pleassee don't make me. I won't talk about myself like that again. Even as a joke. Please baby girl." Your pussy drips onto the chair. Mikasa has you tied up too. Using thick black rope that you normally would tie her up with.

Mikasa's lips curl into a soft smile as she insists, "Keep begging. It's pointless. You know what I need to hear." Pulling the dildo out of her pussy. Her thick pink lips glistening with her cream. While her puffy pink clit is just begging for attention.

Leaning forward, rocking your hips, trying to rub your clit on the chair. Aching for any stimulation for your dripping pussy. Pleading with her, "I want to bury my face between your beautiful thighs. Lick your pretty pussy clean. You can sit on my face and smother me with your cum."

"I'll sit on your face when you tell me how gorgeous you are. Tell me my favorite parts about you." Mikasa used to get flustered so easily when both of you first got together. Your favorite way of teasing was telling her in just how breathtaking her body is. While having her beg using those same compliments for herself.

Mikasa stands up, as you confess, "You love how sweet my pussy taste. That's why you can't get your head out from between my legs. I love sixty-nine-ing with you so we can eat each other's sexy, soft yummy pussies." She closes the small space between the bed and chair. She holds her drenched dildo above your head, some of her slick drips off onto your bottom lip.

Licking your lips, groaning at the sweet taste of her pussy covering your tongue. She groans, "Good girl, I'll squirt on your beautiful face after you clean this up for me." She lowers the dildo as you part your lips. For her to slip her toy past, licking her cum off happily.

Shoko

Pinning your thighs with her own. While holding your hand above your head. Shoko rocks her hips, stuffing your pussy and her own with the double-ended dildo. When her soft warm pussy touches you, she grinds her hips.

Rubbing her puffy clit against yours, driving you closer to the peak you're craving. Shoko lifts her hips up, pulling the dildo out of you. Which she grabs, pumping into her pussy. Letting go of both of your hands, she rubs her clit.

Giving herself a few strokes, she creams, her pussy dripping onto yours. Cupping her heavy breasts, softly massaging them as they spill through your fingers. Sucking one of her soft nipples, flicking it with her tongue.

Looking up at Shoko and slipping her nipple out of your mouth. Begging her, "Mommy please let me cum. I was wrong. I'm sorry I'm your beautiful baby girl. My pussy is soft, warm and wet. Want you to fuck her till she squirts. Pleasee!" She pulls her dildo out of her with a soft squelch. And climbs off you, letting you stretch your legs out.

Turning the dildo around, stuffing the end soaked in her cum past your lips. While you moan, "Mommy take care of my pretty pussy." She lays down next to you, partly hovering over you. Her breasts are so close to your face.

Wrapping your lips around her soft pink nipples, softly suckling and groaning. Shoko rolls on top of you. While you cup her other breasts, and she pumps the dildo faster. Rubbing the faux cock head against your sweet spot before hitting your sponge cervix.

Shoko moans, "Fuck, suck Mommy tits just like that. Hmm I can feel every flick of your tongue in my clit. You're so beautiful, baby girl."

Suguru

Shifting your hips, Suguru pinches your nipples. Rocking your hips forward, desperate to feel Suguru's cock drag along your squishy pussy. He tugs your nipples till you still your hips.

Reminding you, "Stay still princess. Until you tell me how beautiful you are, you can't move on my cock. Instead I want to hear you tell me how thankful you are I'm letting you sit on it." Sliding his hand down over your the shape of your body.

Lightly dragging his nails, making you squirm. His cock head rubbing against your spongy cervix. As you whimper,

"I'm tired of cock warming! I need you to let me cum, need to move. Please! Daddy I won't do it again! Please I need my pussy pounded!" Grabbing your hips, his large hand and strong grasp reducing the shifting of your hips.

Suguru strokes achingly slow circles into your clit. He promises, "As much as I want to fuck my fat cock into your soft pretty princess pussy, I can't let you get away with your earlier behavior." Lifting you off his cock, while reminding you.

"Only good girls to get cum and ride Daddy's cock." Biting into your bottom lip, too stubborn to cave in just yet. But when his cock slips out, you break instantly. Crying,

"I sorry daddy, I'll do better! Don't take away your cock! Need you to fill me up. Please pound your pretty princess pussy." Suguru sits you back down, his cock hanging between his parted legs. Which your legs dangle on either side of. Keeping spread apart.

Looking up at Suguru, pleading with him, "I won't talk bad about myself again! Please I'm your lovely goddess with a pussy you should worship instead of teasing." Pouting, he smiles as he leans down and kisses your forehead.

Lifting your hips, lining his cock up and sinking you down on himself. Wrapping his hand around your throat and standing up. Tightly cutting off your air, as he stands up.

Tangling your fingers into his hair, loosening up his messy bun. Your feet dangling off the floor. All you can hold on to is Suguru, who warns you,

"Can't run away now. You want me to pound your pretty princess pussy, worship it? Then don't cry it's too much and take it all like a good girl. And don't ever disrespect yourself again, you should know how beautiful you are mama."

✑ all works

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tkthrilla-writes · 6 months

Text

What was in that drink?

An Alastor x reader fic. Slight warning of possessiveness might be needed but only for that one scene

His smile was as strained as it could ever be as he watched and felt his darling host get ready. Checking themselves out in the full-length mirror in the corridor, making sure that the nice and neat clothes that they have not worn in a very long time. Patting down the sides that looked like they are creasing, making sure that they are presentable for the night.

“You know my dear,” Alastor’s shadow parted from his host and appeared in the mirror as if he was an extension of the human, “you could just stay here with me,” he tried to act sly by getting in his host’s face, as if trying to seduce them into staying with them.

“Oh come on Al, it’s my turn to be switched out tonight, and we barely go out as is,” the human now started to fixate on their hair, trying to make sure that it was properly parted and styled. “Besides, you know this is a work thing that I can’t exactly get out of,” they started, “and didn’t you say you had business at the hotel and that is why I got today to be switched out.”

Since he was an almighty demon with almighty powers and abnormalities, his smile became more strained, literally stretching ear to ear while his brows gave away the scowl that he would convey had he been there in person. But alas he was bound to the shadows. And he couldn’t show his darling host his blatant disagreement without saying anything so she could spend more time with him.

“Ok, I am done,” she said, this brought him down to Earth and brought him back to reality, “and I am heading off,” she ended with a brilliant smile on her face, clearly looking forward to the evening.

“Now now my dearest,” he motioned as she started to walk to the door, only stopping by the kitchen counter to wear the nice shoes that are practically new despite owning them for a good year or so, before making a grab for the keys and moving closer to the door, “why not have a ball here with me instead of those retched and filthy people you work with.” He tried to gesture as best as he could through his parted shadow, but all he looked like was a wispy black smog that was tightly bound together to make his outer shape.

“Hey come on, it’s not like I am going to be gone that long anyways, beside you got stuff at the hotel you said you needed to do aaaaand,” she prolonged it as if it was going to be the next main and great point, “you get to have a break from me and have time to yourself! I know how much you hate being cooped up for so long.” Ending with a gentle smile that shocked Alastor, making him take his hand back at very slight shock and rendering him speechless. “Anyways, I’m off! Good luck at the hotel and see you later!” she smiled, and that was that, she was out the door, only a single light on for his sake otherwise the apartment would’ve been completely dark.

“I don’t want a break from you,” if he were human, he could’ve sworn he sounded heartbroken, but instead they came out as plain words with a lot of emotion trying to be hidden as the main meaning behind them. A good number of beats had passed with him standing by the door like a lost puppy waiting for his owner to return before he realised a good hour had passed. It was time for him to head back down to greet and terrorise the citizens of Hell.

But first… a quick side stop to a certain bar wouldn’t hurt one bit.

So dispersing back into the shadows, he started to travel half way across the city just to go to this one specific bar where his darling host is. Surely enough, there she was, Alastor could see her from the under the streetlight across the bar. She was laughing, looking like she was having a good time. Slimy Dave on the other hand looked like he was trying to pull some moves on her, but blissfully ignorant she just kept on talking with Channel. She looked so adorable, while she still put a lot of effort in dressing up, she was still decent compared to her female coworkers who tried their hardest to wear revealing clothes.

“Someone is looking to be sinful tonight?” Alastor thought to himself watching everyone interact with you. “Should be sinful with me instead,” he continued, thinking of all the people they could be out killing together. All the fun and chaos they could bring together.

All these thoughts started to leave a sour taste in his mouth the long he watched you laugh and interact with colleagues. Having enough, and in a very bad mood, he slammed his microphone on the ground, and in a split second he was now staring at the walls of his room at the hotel. He sneered at them as if they had done something wrong to him. The smile he held being gracefully fake, as he had enough on being in his room, and barged out the door. Making his way down the stairs were everybody was and greeting them with a boisterous “Hello Everyone!”

The three hours later the work was done, denizens of hell coming and going, the princess of Hell skipping around all happy at her success, the moth following close behind her. Meanwhile the cat stood behind the bar, as was his post to clean the glasses and make the drinks, all while being hovered by the flirtatious spider. Alastor spent a good second staring at them before deciding to fuck it, and walk over to them. She is out at the moment so he will be too.

“Your largest drink of your heaviest, my good Husker!” he demanded, pulling out a chair to seat himself on.

“Since when ya sit with us antlers! Not that I’m complaining ofcourse,” Angel said flirtatiously, arms and hands spread out as he leaned onto Alastor’s side.

“Do not be ridiculous,” Alastor replied, using the head of his microphone to push Angel’s face away, “I am merely here to enjoy a drink.”

“Kid does have a point,” Husker glared while pouring the radio demon his drink and sliding it right into the demon’s hand, “You don’t normally drink here. What’s wrong with you?”

“Well you see, it certainly has been a long week,” Alastor exclaimed, beating about the bush because why would he do the healthy thing and open up as to why he is upset. Only person he would do that to is not around and out on their own.

Self-absorbed into his rant, he failed to realise Angel’s bored expression leaning into Husker and ask the classic question, “What ya give ‘im?”

Husker just leaned while cleaning his next glass, “Water with 2 shots of absinthe,” Angeldust had to visibly stop himself from spit-taking his drink all over Husker before an evil grin spread across his face, one that he didn’t bother to hide as he watched Alastor take sip after sip between rants. “Give ‘im a couple more minutes, he’ll start singing like a canary,” Husker continued eyeing the poor demon that is has now fallen victim to his bartending skills.

Surely enough, the winged cat was right, Alastor had started to sway and slur at his words, as he finally arrived in ranting on about his week that has gotten him upset, “And then she said yes!”

“No!” Angel and Husker yelled out in sync, now invested in the drama that is between Alastor’s host and Alastor himself.

“Yes!” Alastor swayed, shifting his weight onto the bar, “can you actually believe that she said yes to going out with that blasted Dave and those filthy people she works with!”

“This ‘Dave’ sure sounds like a sleazeball!” Angel jumped in absolutely loving the drama of Alastor’s life.

“The sleaziest!” Alastor yelled lifting his microphone up in the air so hard he threw himself off his seat, and scrambled to grab the bar to catch himself before he fell to the ground, “he cannot see one living being with legs without trying to seducing it!” Hands now outstretched, face planted down on the bar, heaving heavily from getting even more heated up and angry than he already was.

“Why would she go out with them?! She should’ve stayed with me,” he straightened himself out, now standing, hands still down on the bar, but his eyes started to turn into radio dials turning, his head started to twitch, static started to play in the background, “SHE LEAVING ME!” he yelled out, his hands clutched so quickly he scratch the bar, leaving behind claw marks, and now static filled the air.

“You know Al,” the static now cut, his eyes now back to normal and looking at Charlie who had overheard and walked in on the conversation, “maybe you should talk to her about this and how you feel about it,” she said now starting to stutter and feel nervous under the attention Alastor was giving her with his intensive gaze.

“Yeah,” Angel jumped in starting to light a cigarette, “don’t get your panties in a twist, the gal is allowed to have her own night on the town. Can’t she?” he side-eyed Alastor, depending on his answer he would have been judging, but thankfully he did agree.

“Yes she may, she is her own human being-“

“Then what is the problem!” Vaggie jumped in getting fed of his temper tantrum.

“The problem is-!” he was about to finally admit it, but he got interrupted by his microphone literally ringing like a regular phone. “Hello?” he turned around, speaking into the microphone to answer, acting fully sober despite the little sway that was very evident to everyone at the bar.

“Hey Al, how are you doing?” the star of the show replied back for everyone to hear. Angel sucked in and started to choke on his cigarette, Husker spit out his drink, and Charlie just to shake Vaggie out of sheer excitement, “Is that what she sounds like?” she exclaimed, so full of excitement that you could see the hearts in her eyes.

Alastor turned away even more as everybody started to crowd on his to try to hear what the two were going to say, “Quick hectic as per the usual my dear, although some rascals do not know how to mind their own business,” he nearly snarled, trying to give everyone a threatening look to leave him alone but obviously it went ignored.

“You think you’ll be home soon? Got some tea to spill,” she trailed off.

“And what other mess did you get yourself into you little fox,” Alastor spoke deeper into the microphone, walking away from the piling sinners and princess who trailed behind him, somehow Nifty had joined in on their fun on trying to overhear his conversation. Brilliant.

“Not me, more like Donna… with Dave,” Angel choked on air and started to laugh as soon as he heard that, “sounds like it’s going to be double D up in the office tomorrow…” Angel started to wheeze at the innuendo.

“Where are you?” Alastor started to sound desperate, trying to leave, the prying eyes of the hotel.

“I’m at home-“

“Goodnight everyone!” Alastor turned to announced, arms outstretched in the air, proceeded to slam his microphone to the ground, and in a burst of light he was back in the apartment watching his dear human pour a glass of water.

“Hey Al,” she said smiling ear to ear.

“Hello darling, you’re home early,” he commented shifting his shadowed weight to stand next to her by the counter.

“Yeah everyone started to get drunk and I figured since we have work tomorrow I might as well leave early, everyone is still at the bar probably getting wasted,” she explained, drinking her water and started to make her way to the bathroom to get cleaned up for bed. “By the way,” she started, ripping off her clothes and putting them in the laundry basket, “who or what was that on your end of the line?”

Alastor let out radio glitch sound effect at the sudden question, “I do not know what you are talking about my dear,” he lied.

“Mhm sure,” the human figured out quickly that it was a lie and probably one of the people he talked about that help run the hotel, “now come on and jump in, got some tea you might like me to spill and an early night calling!” she stretched her arms, popping her stiff joints as she walked down the corridor.

Eager for everything to return back to normal and for him to accompany his host to rest in bed, he eagerly fused back into her body. However, something immediately felt off for the both of them. She immediately rushed back to the bathroom and threw herself to the toilet, luckily it was open, and whatever was in her stomach was now being wretched up into the toilet.

“The fuck is happening?! That was a $15 fat ass burger!” she heaved and proceeded to vomit a second time.

“Maybe it was all the drinking you have been doing,” Alastor replied in a passive aggressive manner, mostly because he also was feeling its effects and definitely the thought of her getting drunk and drinking with those lowly being she worked with being absolutely irritating.

“That’s bull! I’ve been,” she paused the heave before continuing, “been chugging water the whole night!” she then coughed up. “Hell no this was you,” she accused after finally calming down.

“And why would accuse me of doing this to us?!” Alastor got agitated.

“Well we know what affects you affects me so spill it! What did you drink?” she heaved even more, both of them feeling a wave of nausea coming over.

“…I will need to ask Husker tomorrow…” Alastor said blankly.

“AAAAaaaaaaalllll,” she groaned, “guess we are going into work with a hangover,” she sighed, the both of them now feeling absolutely exhausted.

#alastor x reader #alastor #radio demon #x reader #charlie #vaggie #angel dust #husker #nifty #helluva boss #hazbin hotel #demon possession trope #not enough of these #demon #seriously let me have my alastor x reader venom like possession fics #up to me to deliver #host au

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zenphiaaa · 1 year

Text

Cornelia Street (Giyu Tomioka)

Shinobu blinked with her smile frozen on her face. "What do you mean you have a wife? When on earth did this happen? That poor girl! Did you coerced her?" The young woman snided to the male sitting across from her

"That sounds like too much effort to get married that way." Giyu responded in a bored tone. "I'm not sure why this is such a surprise. You guys all have significant others." The dark haired male pointed out.

"I think what Shinobu means to say is that you tend to keep to yourself. So it's a bit of surprise for you to talk about yourself." Mitsuri gently explained, trying to calm everyone down.

"When did you get married? What's her name? Marriage is such a beautiful thing, you're extremely lucky Tomioka!" Rengoku spoke out in a thunderous tone. Giyu just sighed and nodded his head in thanks.

Part of the resaon why he told no one of his marriage was because he knew that his coworkers...friends(?) would respond like that. It was a headache once the group found some sort of excitment.

"You didn't answer the questioned Tomioka. That's not a very poltie thing to do." Shinobu warned with a pointed look, the smile she wore still frozen on her face.

Giyu let out a long sigh before pulling his phone out of his pocket, he typed on the device for a few seconds before showing the screen to the group. "Her name is Y/N, we've been married for two years now. No we don't have children and we don't want any so please don't ask. She is also only six months younger than me and she works as a nurse." Giyu quickly explained like a crash course video.

The picture on the screen was one of the wedding day. The picture shows Giyu holding Y/N up bridal style, both with grins and a light blush dusted on their faces.

"Congratulations my dear friend. I'm glad you found happiness." Rengoku smiled brightly at the shorter male.

Mitsuri let out a loud gasp as she somehow manged to get the phone out of Giyu's grasp and began to scroll over all of the weddings day photos that Giyu had saved in a folder on his phone. "She's beautiful! You guys look so cute together!" Mitsuri squealed.

"Yes." Was all Giyu had said before plucking his phone out of the women's grip. "Can we get back to the meeting now? This is a business lunch after all." The dark haired male mumbled, pocketing the phone back into his jeans.

"Of course, but you know that Mitsuri won't stop asking for us to meet her. You wouldn't want to break Mitsuri's poor heart and have a certain snake owner threaten you? Right?" Shinobu teased the other, although her eyes didn't follow the cheerfulness that her tone indicated.

"If you guys want to meet her, you'll have to wait until her schedule is free. She's the most busy out of the two of us." Giyu replied.

"Your wife is ordering, I think." Muichiro suddenly spoke as he pointed behind the group. Giyu immediately whipped his head around and his eyes focused on his wife's H/C hair. The man softly smiled at the sight of his significant other.

"Wow, you are so whipped." Shinobu observed.

Y/N then turned around to look for a table after ordering. Her eyes immediately broke out across her face as she started to approach her lover. "Giyu! Your at a lunch meeting today?" She questioned, placing a kiss on his checks within Giyu's arms.

Giyu responded and wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in for a kiss without saying a word.

Mitsuri in return let out a loud squeal which caused the couple to back away from each other, faces flushed with embarrassment. Despite wearing a blush, Giyu still looked midly annoyed that his time with his wife was interrupted. Even if he was supposed to focus on work, his wife was here now. How was he supposed to focus on work when the love of his life was holding him? Quite unfair really.

"Sorry, I'm interrupting aren't I?" Y/N quietly said to the group, not able to meet anyone's eyes.

"Nonsense! We were in fact just talking about you! All good things nothing to worry about!" Rengoku spoke up, saving Y/N from the embarrassment.

"I see. Well I just wanted to say hello to Giyu." Y/N hesitantly spoke with a tight smile, "I'll be out of your hair now. I just came to pick up lunch for me and Insouke."

"What did he do now?" Giyu sighed but kept his arm around his wife's waist. Looking up at her with a soft gaze.

"Ah," Y/N nervously looked the other way as she spoke, "Well he decided to try to fly? Climbed the roof, got attacked by a wasp nest, then kinda fell off the roof."

The group froze and blinked at the woman like she was crazy.

"He's an idiot." Giyu quickly replied, "I'll talk to him when I get home."

"Ah, we're watching some neighborhood kids during the day, while it's parent week at the school. Insouke is just a wild child? He loveschallenging himself, although I wish he didn't do it in extremes." Y/N thought outloud to herself.

"Order for Y/N!" A worker called out.

"I'll leave you guys to it then! Sorry for interrupting! Nice to meet you guys!" Y/N almost bowed a goodbye, before giving her husband one last kiss and left as fast as she came.

The group blinked before turning to look over at Tomioka. Giyu just shrugged as he sipped on his iced tea,"She gets nervous around new people." Was all he said.

"Well, we must have dinner together! She's so nice and so sweet!" Mitsuri blurted out with heart eyes, clasping her hand together in excitement.

"I'll let her know." Giyu said, as he pulled out a folder. "Can we get back on topic now? We only have fifteen minutes left of this meeting."

#tomioka x you #giyu tomioka #tomioka giyu x reader #giyuu tomioka #gyuu tomioka x reader #kimetsu giyuu #giyuu x you #giyuu x reader #demon slayer fluff #demon slayer giyuu #demon slayer x reader #demon slayer #kny giyuu #kny x y/n #kimetsu no yaiba #kny

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naffeclipse · 6 months

Note

I absolutely adore every AU you come up with, but I was actually curious if you had already or were considering writing a traditional DCAxReader? Hopefully I can kick this art block soon because there is so much fanart I want to draw of your stories :) Hope your week is going well! (besides the roof disaster ^^;;;)

On another note... AUs are my brainrot and I keep thinking about that post about the large bed... and spoopy ghosts. Clipgeist? No running away from something that can follow you to the ends of the Earth. Poor Y/Ns just can't catch a break lol

I have a few canon stories with the DCA x Reader on my Ao3 but nothing as grand or long as my AUs! I do have a 'canon' story plotted but I don't know when I'll write it. Hopefully one day!

Ah, that's so exciting! I hope you can chisel that art block down hehe

It's going good (aside from the roof ;-;) I have this week of school before we go on break for Thanksgiving and it can't come soon enough!

Shaking your hand so hard rn!! I love AUs! And a spooky ghost one? Oh ho, I've always wanted to write a domestic monster scenario!

Perhaps Y/N moves into an old, old house with steep roofs, pointed arches above the windows and doors, and a lovely porch. It's two and a half stories tall (the half story is attic space under the roof rafters) with a four-story central spired tower! All dark wood and even darker interiors. You can't desire if it's Dracula's castle or a fairytale home for the happily ever-after-ed prince and princess. It's even got a secret underground tunnel! What more do you need when flipping a home? You love restoration and you intend to keep all its gothic charm while updating it to be, well, livable.

It's also incredibly cheap! Like, stupid cheap, for something that should be incredibly pricey for its prestige style and historical value. Not that you've ever looked a gift horse in the mouth, but even you have second thoughts before ultimately snatching up the house key.

The first night is always unsettling—maybe you hear a voice whisper in your ear despite it being dead silent and there's not a soul for miles, but you'll brush that off as getting spooked by old ghost stories your brain conjures up within the ornate decorated rooms.

From there, things get stranger and stranger still. Your paintbrush is moved and you know you didn't set it there because of the wet paint dripping onto the floor. The electricity is ever fickle, turning off at the most opportune moments during the night, like when you swear you saw a figure standing at the end of the hallway, all thin and scraggly with a ghostly smile and an inhuman head framed with wavering energy that almost seems to glow like embers in the dark!

Still, you continue your repairs and restorations, sometimes softly talking to yourself out loud and talking to the house like it's a wounded animal you intend to restore back to its fittest with all the love you can pour out of your heart. Places need love, too.

The most obnoxious thing is that you can't access the tower—the door is always locked, and no matter what key you try, it refuses to budge. You don't dare risk causing damage by prying it open, but you swear you'll get into that tower one day. There's got to be treasure inside with how mysteriously it stands, just out of your reach. Though, you've mostly put it aside for now. Whenever you jingle keys in the lock, you swear you hear a voice grow angry with you, and the hallway becomes so cold you can see your breath.

So, yeah, you're saving that for later.

The pivotal moment of you even considering a haunting is one night when you find yourself overwhelmed and stressed from the ever-growing list of chores and how everything is falling apart faster than you can fix it. You dissolve on the living room floor into thick tears. You're usually so put together, even when alone. You hate crying. There's no one to hold you together except yourself, so why fall apart in the first place?

Your little moment of getting it out is interrupted when a quilt falls over your shoulders. A soft, heavy quilt of midnight skies and dotted pale blue stars that was never in this room.

You leap to your feet, quilt falling away, and call out in classic horror victim fashion, "Who's there?" but no one answers. In frozen terror, you stare at the room, expecting something, anything to jump out or scream at you, but it's so, so quiet. All is still, like apologetic comfort.

That couldn't have happened. No draft, no forgetfulness could explain how a quilt was draped over you as if by a concerned friend.

You stare at the quilt and decide that you've had a long day. You go to your room, unable to relax even once you're under the covers, feeling something cold and misty above your bed.

When you wake in the morning, that starry quilt is draped over your lying form. You did not put it there.

Something or someone else tucked it around you.

#haunting au #ghost!eclipse #clipgeist is so *mwah*#anyways what goes bump in the night but a haunting specter that may or may not vie for your affection #just don't go into the tower #hei-z-sky #naff writing

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fafnir19 · 23 days

Text

Desire upon the sea

It all started with a stroke of unbelievable luck. I, Lennart, a carefree 20-year-old student with a penchant for casual attire, had won a first-class voyage on an exquisite cruise ship. The grand prize seemed tailor-made for an older, more refined audience, a fact only accentuated by the conspicuously elegant attires the other passengers flaunted. As I stepped onto the luxurious cruise ship, I couldn't help but notice the elegant attire of the other passengers. It seemed like everyone had walked straight out of a black-tie event, while I was just a casual bloke in my everyday clothes.

Still, I brushed it off and decided to make a joke out of it, because that's just the kind of guy I am. I spent my days wandering around the ship, enjoying the sights and sounds, until one evening, I heard peculiar noises trailing behind me. As I turned to investigate, a strange figure materialized from the shadows. It was a goblin, of all things, with a sneer etched onto its wrinkly face.

"What's your problem, buddy?" I said, half-amused. "You're the problem!" the goblin retorted, pointing a gnarled finger at me. "You're ruining the ship's reputation with your scruffy appearance and lack of grooming. Clean up your act, lad!" I couldn't help but chuckle at the absurdity of the situation before bidding the goblin goodnight and heading to bed. Little did I know that the night held a surprise for me. The following morning, I shuffled groggily to the bathroom, only to realize I'd been blessed with a new haircut—a perfectly styled 'do that I hadn't asked for. Confused and a tad worried, I heard the goblin's cackling echoing in the room. I looked around, but he was nowhere to be seen, leaving me to exclaim, "If I can get my hands on that little troublemaker!"

The day took an even stranger turn when I found myself at the spa, enjoying a massage from a petite, skilled masseuse. As her hands worked their magic, I felt an odd sensation spreading through my body, like I was being tugged and twisted in ways unimaginable. I winced in discomfort and pleaded with the masseuse to stop, but all I heard was the goblin's laughter. And when I looked in the mirror, a shock awaited me. My unkempt form had vanished, replaced by the silhouette of a young Greek god—toned muscles, blond hair, and piercing blue eyes. It was as if I'd stepped out of a marble statue, and with a mixture of bewilderment and annoyance, I muttered, "What in the goblin's name is happening to me?"

Determined to escape this madness, I embarked on a shore excursion, hoping for some respite. However, upon my return, I found my clothes gone, replaced by a sleek suit and accessories—courtesy of the goblin's mischievous handiwork. From that moment onwards, it seemed the goblin held the reins to my desires and appearance, turning me into an impeccably groomed, preppy youth. As the days went by, I longed to break free from this bizarre spell, but the ship was already bound for a week-long journey across the Atlantic, leaving me at the goblin's whims.

As I sauntered across the deck, trying to make sense of my inexplicable transformation, a sleek sports boat docked at the cruise ship. A suave, sophisticated businessman disembarked and strode towards the pool deck, exuding an air of confidence and allure.

My gaze inadvertently intersected with his, and it was then that I discerned a disquieting fascination glinting within his eyes. Despite my efforts to elude the intrusive weight of his lingering stare, the sensation of being undressed by his gaze trapped me in a discomfiting nexus of unease. Seeking to extricate myself from this distressing conundrum, I made a hasty retreat to my cabin.

A futile hope, as it turned out, when I found him seated at my table during dinner.

"Good evening," he greeted me with a captivating smile. "I'm Pierson. I couldn't help but notice our paths have crossed numerous times on this ship." I swallowed nervously, feeling the weight of his gaze, and managed a polite response. "Lennart," I said, trying to keep my cool. "Yes, indeed. It's quite the coincidence." Pierson leaned in slightly, his eyes never leaving mine. "Coincidence, you say? Or is it fate that led us to each other?" His words, dripping with a hint of flirtation, left me flustered. "I-I'm not sure what you mean," I stumbled, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks. As the dinner progressed, Pierson's attention remained fixed on me, his subtle innuendos fluttering around the air like mischievous butterflies. Being straight, I felt a wave of discomfort and couldn't help but squirt under the weight of his suggestive remarks.

Night descended upon the ship, and soon I found myself in a tormented state of slumber, plagued by the most bewildering dreams. Dreams of Pierson, his intoxicating eyes, and the touch of his lips upon mine. It was a series of vivid and erotic dreams. When I woke up the next morning I realized that the dreams were not only intense but also wet dreams. The following day, I attempted to evade Pierson, hoping to dispel the lingering echoes of those perplexing dreams. However, the next night I had the same dreams again.

One sunny morning, as I lounged by the pool, attempting to find solace in the ocean breeze, I spotted Pierson striding past. His eyes met mine, and a faint but unmistakable smile tugged at the corners of his lips. Suddenly, an unexpected sensation sent a shiver down my spine—a telltale sign of arousal. I shifted uncomfortably, desperately hoping to conceal my hard-on.

Later, as we convened for dinner, I found myself battling with an unfamiliar, unwelcome sensation. My cock twitched by the mere sight of Pierson.

Flustered and at a loss, I hastily excused myself, feigning an excuse to retire early. Alone on the deck, I let the cool ocean breeze wash over me, attempting to clear my mind from the bewildering entanglements stirring within. Before I could process my thoughts, I felt a presence behind me. A familiar one. Pierson's arm wrapped around my shoulders, and he leaned in, planting a tender, albeit unexpected, kiss upon my lips. For a brief moment, I flinched, but then something within me surrendered to the moment, allowing it to unfold. The night swiftly turned into a whirlwind of passion, eventually leading us to Pierson's suite, where our mysterious liaison reached its climax. The morning light revealed a revelation—a revelation that struck with the laughter of the irksome goblin.

A voice, singing, "That's how I like you, sweet gay Lennart!" I protested, adamantly refuting the label, but the goblin's words reverberated in the chamber. "I planted gay dreams in your head, and you made them happen. You've sealed your fate, lad. Embrace it." Before I could offer a rebuttal, Pierson reappeared, casting a suggestive glance my way, proposing an amorous shower together. In a moment of bewildered impulse, I accepted, and it marked a peculiar turn of events for me. In the days that followed, Pierson bid farewell to the ship, leaving behind a bewildered, conflicted Lennart, lost in the peculiar conundrum of his newfound reality. Days passed, each rolling into the next, veiling me in my own introspection until an unexpected surprise awaited me one fine morning. There, upon my bed, lay a pristine steward uniform, intricately folded, bearing the goblin's crimson laughter. He explained, "Pierson was pleased with your service. As a reward, you're destined to don this uniform and live out your gay fantasies amidst the opulent corridors of this ship." And so, clad in the uniform, I embarked on a whimsical journey, serving the passengers with impeccable grace, while navigating the bewitching intricacies of my newfound desires. Is this my fate—a twist of magic and mishaps, or perhaps an unforeseen realm of revelation that awaits amidst the billowing seas? Only time would reveal the enigmatic path that lay ahead.

#male tf #male transformation #straight to gay #servant

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writingsfromhome · 19 days

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Dos and Don’ts IV

A/N: hello my loves this final part to this fic completes the birth of one of my favourite fics I’ve written. Thank you for reading and enjoying it just as much—every like, comment, and dm meant the world <3

Parts: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4

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We have an extra day in Barcelona and the team is buzzing to enjoy their nightlife since we could sleep all day tomorrow. I’d visited here while I was a uni student so I give some suggestions.

Harry’s a little on edge the whole time. Earlier today some headline from a musician Harry worked with was taken out of context and thus took the internet by storm. Now he was being flooded with people wanting to know his thoughts and feelings. It was a hot topic.

With a joint effort of me, Jeff, and Graham, we tried to keep the spotlight on his Barcelona show. Well my role was mostly to screen Harry from seeing any further discourse online.

The show itself was one of the loudest I’d been to—I was glad I had my own ear protection. The tense Harry falls away and he’s electric on stage. Even coming backstage he’s on a high; he hugs the crew and thanks everyone like he usually did at the end of shows and disappears into his dressing room with Jeff. They look like they’re talking intensely.

“So,” Sarah slides in beside me. “We noticed you’re a bit different coming back. What’s happened?”

I try to play dumb but the girls keep pushing.

“Me and my fiancé ended things,” I confess. They gasp, Claire’s eyes actually fill with tears.

“Shh!” I shush them. “Keep it on the down low please I don’t want anyone to know.”

“But y/n why are you even here!? Is it because of tour! I’m sure Harry could have rearranged things-“

“No no,” I appreciated their support but I didn’t want to hash things out. “It’s just…I think it was a long time coming. God, I don’t wanna cry. I’m good. For now. And I want to be on tour I need the distraction.”

“I get it,” they sympathize. “We’re gonna make you forget so hard tonight.”

“Okay but don’t,” I look around us to make sure there was nobody else around. “Please don’t tell Harry. Seriously please. I don’t want him to know especially. I don’t want him to treat me differently or something.”

“Lips are sealed.” Sarah zips her mouth. “But we can all tell you’re off. It’s hard not to practically living together these last couple months. If he asks we’ll say…”

“Just say she’s on a break?” Charlie suggests.

“Yeah,” I shrug. “Things are complicated, I’m on a break, whatever that’s fine.”

The girls lean towards me and envelop me in a hug. It reminds me of my friends I’d said goodbye to.

“Thanks,” I say through tears.

And the girls hold me to their promise.

After we get dressed for the night—I chose a corset-style top and trousers—we head out. The sun dips below the horizon and the old city is cast in a warm orange glow that could inspire anyone who set eyes on it. String lights come on and music plays from various doors; the city is alive.

We tease each other about looking so glam as we wander the narrow cobblestone streets. Aside from the shows we all wore sweats and tees.

Every place we pass sets my senses alight. We grab tapas from a place that smells irresistible and chat over each other about tonight’s wicked show. I continue avoiding Harry by sitting as far away from him as I can get.

As we wander off in search of the club I can’t help but feel a twinge at how incredibly romantic the moonlit streets felt.

The club is loud and alive, the noise levels even feel normal after the roar of the last few of Harry’s shows. My mood starts shooting up steadily as I drink in the energy around me.

We join the crowd and I give away my worries and my annoyances to enjoy the music. I feel it in my chest and for a blissful moment I’m grateful for my whole damn life despite everything.

“Cute guy!” Someone shouts in my ear.

Charlie nudges me to one of the guys dancing nearby. “Get distracted!”

I shake my head no.

“Do it!” She cheers. It barely travels to me. She grabs Claire’s hand and tugs her, letting her in on the plan and they goad me into going for it.

I motion a drink. I’d need another shot for the courage.

We trail back to the bar and do a round of shots, and they grin with thumbs up as I hesitantly enter the crowd again.

The dude they pointed out is tall and beautiful. Like beautiful not even handsome. I get stuck looking up at him in awe, he wasn’t really my type. A tad too pretty boy but when he notices me looking he smiles and I’m won over. I couldn’t deny a good smile.

“Hey!” He turns his body to me. At least I think he say hey.

“Hey!” I shout back.

“Que pasa?”

“What?!” I couldn’t hear a single thing. What did I expect.

He smiles and takes my hand that had been anxiously playing with the edge of my top. The other has a hand splint that I’d received in Madrid. Apparently I sprained my fingers.

The stranger wriggles both my hands to loosen them, raising his brow at the splint. I laugh.

He asks in my ear but I don’t understand. It sounds like a question, something bylar. When I scrunch my brows he laughs, “Dance! We dance!?”

“Dance!” I laugh. He was cute! “Yes! I want to dance with you!”

“Vamos,” he pulls me in. I understood that at least.

I used to do this in uni, I think. I should be able to do it again.

He teases me a little because I’m so tense. His hands knead down my back to my waist to get me to relax. It feels nice, being touched by a man that looks like he was carved from marble but filled with music.

I begin to find my rhythm and sway with him, eventually letting go completely. He compliments me as I start to move with him and pretty soon I’ve channeled my 20-year-old self. It feels pretty spectacular.

When his lips ghost my cheek I don’t protest. Right now, I felt good. Everything was on the back burner’s back burner and I felt grounded in this nighclub with this random stranger who was paying attention to me, just me. And it’s just us. And it’s just temporary. And I feel good.

When I turn around, my back to his chest, he moves my hair to the side and kisses down my neck. It felt good.

I run my hand up into his hair and he moves lower murmuring foreign words on my skin, our bodies still dancing in the same language, his hands still gripping my waist and my hips. I feel blissed out.

It ends in a split second.

“What are you doing?” Harry’s suddenly tugging me towards him. His mouth makes the words I just fill them in with his annoyingly bossy voice.

“Hey man,” the guy I’m dancing with tries to get in between us.

“What are you doing!?” I snatch my hand away from Harry.

Harry puts his hand on my partner’s chest and says something to him, maybe in Spanish. He looks at me with puppy dog eyes and I look at Harry. What had he said.

“What did you say?” I ask. I try to call back my dancing partner but he just salutes me with a smile and fades into the crowd. No wait, I’m being dragged away.

“Y/n what are you doing out there?”

“What am I doing?” I shout. “What are you?! I was having a nice time with that guy what did you say to him?”

He walks away, further back into the edges of the club. There’s a few people milling about with a number of them involved in heavy makeout sessions.

Harry turns to face me finally. “You’re engaged y/n, Claire and Sarah said things are complicated at home is that why you’re doing this?”

“What!” I throw my hands up, tears prick my eyes. What the fuck was his problem! Since when did he care? “Why do you care?! Yes, things are complicated and I was getting my mind off of said things—what is your issue? You want to drag me back here and remind me of how shitty things have been?”

“This isn’t the way,” Harry insists. “You don’t even know that guy!”

“Whatever I’m over this convo.”

I turn to leave but Harry grabs my hand, the one in the splint, and pulls me back.

“Sorry,” he lets go of the splint. Then picks it up again. “Look. I’m worried about you. This isn’t you, you’re not the girl that goes home with another guy when your fiancé is back at home! I just don’t want you making any regrets.”

“Oh is that it,” I step towards him so my hand isn’t so outstretched. He stands still but on my second step he inches back. “Since when did you get a high horse huh? Don’t tell me who I am and who I’m not. You barely know me! If I want to make decisions I regret I can do that. They’re mine to make.”

“No. Y/n, as mad as you are don’t go home with a stranger.”

“As if you don’t!” I scoff. “What’s your real agenda here? What’s going on?”

“Nothing!” He insists.

“Why do you suddenly care so much about my chastity?”

“It’s for your own good!”

He’s lying. I know he’s lying and I don’t know why he pulled me away from my beautiful Spanish dance partner but I was actually relaxing and now he’s put me right back into this crazed and tense headspace I kept finding myself in.

Fine, I decide. I could make him regret it.

“Really? You care about my morality that much?” I ask.

With my hand flat on his chest I’ve pushed him further into the wall behind him. He watches me with a guarded look.

But I want him unguarded, vulnerable. The same way he’s made me feel. I lean in, “Are you really worried about the technicalities of me cheating on my fiancé?”

I hover a half foot from his lips. Finally his eyes flicker down to my lips and I know I’ve got him.

I slide my hand up his chest and when my hand inches up the skin of his throat his eyes grow unguarded and heady with lust. He doesn’t push me away. He doesn’t say no.

Hypocrite.

I drop my hand.

“That’s what I thought Mr. Styles.”

I watch for a wonderful moment as the lust clears from his eyes and he realizes what happened. Shame, embarrassment, resignation, and then anger.

I spin on my heel and head away from him. He could deal with the consequences of his actions all on his own.

I’m half-afraid he’ll come after me but luckily I make it out of the club alone.

“He’s such a dick,” I say more to myself. Just to get it out because I’m pissed. “Who the fuck does he think he is!?”

My night is over. I just want to take this all off and forget about it. Maybe I can lock myself in my room and raid the mini-fridge, get drunk and cry myself to sleep. Those seemed like the best options right now.

I take an uber to the hotel. As I walk up to it I notice a weird crowd outside. For nearly 2am I wasn’t expecting this and my instincts kick in that this wasn’t normal. Especially when I notice all the camera straps.

“Excuse me,” I ask the front desk. “Why are there a bunch of paparazzi outside?”

“Is there?” The man behind the counter asks. “Sorry we will tell them to leave. Are you staying with us?”

“That’s a privacy concern out there, and a concern with your staff because they’re here. How do they know who’s staying here?!”

It seems to dawn on him I wasn’t just asking out of curiosity. He promises me he’ll get management. In the meantime I call Jeff and explain the situation. He starts to panic the way I hated, looking for something to blame. He calls Graham who sounds like he’s driving in nascar. It’s a very noisy and over-stimulating conversation.

“Call Harry!” Jeff orders. “Tell him he cannot go back to the hotel no matter what! Fucking vultures man!”

“Y/N,” Graham says in a calmer voice. “You need to go back to where Harry is with some sort of disguise. A hat or sunglasses. That sort of thing-“

“It’s night.”

“Yes night. No glasses. Book the closest hotel you can find. Tell his band they can come back, but to go through the back. They might get spotted but they’re trained on dodging questions. That will keep the vultures there waiting for Harry and we can pick you two up back to the airport tomorrow morning. Where’s after this?”

“Glasgow,” I bite my nail as I think. I had to call Harry asap. What if he was on his way back. “I gotta go now to call him though. Talk later.”

I hang up and call Harry. He picks up the second time.

I explain the situation and he reacts the same way as Jeff, swearing and cursing the papps. I tell him what I was going to do and tell him to go right back into the club. To pass on the word to the team even though I was going to send them a text.

I head up to my room and grab what fits in my bag. I didn’t have Harry’s room key so I decide he’d have to wear my hat and head back out. The vultures stay waiting, now just a few feet further away from the entrance.

I speak briefly to management—I figured Jeff could talk to them and give his classic earful.

On the drive I find a nearby hotel to the club and collect Harry to get him there. We’re too tense to talk when we meet up. Once inside again, I tell him to sit in the lounge while I go up to the desk.

Act above it all, I channel a rich bitch. We needed privacy and we needed nobody to know Harry was here.

“Hi I need a room.” I say.

“Of course, how many night will you be staying with us.”

I glance back to see where Harry sits. He’s in a wingback chair that’s mostly turned away and with his hair stuffed in the baseball cap you can hardly tell it’s him.

“Just a night. I need your best room please.”

“Absolutely,” the woman smiles and I feel bad for only giving a tight-lipped smile back. I wait as she clicks away, finally looking back to me with a slight frown. “So miss unfortunately we are very booked tonight. There are a couple events going on in the city making things very popular.”

“The best room will do. Preferably large.”

“Well,” she hesitates. “A lot of our larger rooms are taken um. I can offer you a bed with one king, it is a bit smaller because it’s by the elevators. I also have one with a queen that is tucked away in the corner with a better view.”

I wanted to be as far away from Harry as possible but by an elevator was asking for trouble.

“Well, I’d rather stay far away from noise so we’ll take the queen.”

“Is that just you or…” she glances at Harry.

“Yes. Two. We’ve had a rough day of travel he’s just resting.”

I hand over ID and my card, trying not to balk at the total. At least I’ll get reimbursed.

“Do you have any bags?” The concierge swoops in as I get the key card.

“No! No. Like I said, bad travel day. We just need somewhere to sleep and we’ll reunite with the bags once they arrive tomorrow.”

They leave us alone after that. I hoped it was because I’d been standoffish enough and not plain weird.

The elevator ride up to the 8th floor is stony and I spend the spare second to text Jeff and Graham the hotel’s address.

The room itself is pretty sub-par and the adrenaline of getting Harry here safely wears off.

I drop my bag by the door and pull out my toiletry bag.

“I don’t have clothes for you to change into, I didn’t have your room key.”

“Yeah. S’fine. I’ll just sleep shirtless unless that bothers you.”

We stare at each other for a tense moment.

“I’m fine with that, you’re the one with the high horse.”

After doing all this for him I wasn’t going to be easy to deal with if he wasn’t going to be easy to deal with.

He chooses to ignore me.

“How the fuck did they know I was staying there? We were under a-“

His phone rings and he answers. Sounds like Jeff.

I use the time to go to the bathroom and finally take off the makeup. I realize I should have grabbed my pjs from my bag too. I take my hair down and massage my scalp with my fingers, letting myself calm down despite the aggressive voices outside.

“Yeah whatever. Keep me updated.” I hear. Great. That was done with.

I leave the bathroom and Harry’s still pacing the floor.

“You’re gonna wear the carpet down if you keep doing that.”

He stops and looks at me, his eyes trail down my body.

“You didn’t bring yourself a change of clothes either?”

“You wish,” I head for my bag again and grab the tee and shorts. “I just forgot them out here.”

“Do you always have to be so snarky?”

Oh, so he wanted to fight. Good news for him, so did I.

“Depends. With you? When you’re being a dick? Yeah. I do.”

“It’s really quite unbecoming.”

“Is it?” I mock his accent. “It’s not proper for a lady to be snarky?”

“I don’t sound like that. You just never let anything go.” He continues.

“I never let anything go?” I repeat.

“Yeah! Ever!”

“What do you want me to let go?” I ask.

“Everything. You’re bothered by everything just let it all fucking go.”

“No like specifically what should I let go?” I turn on him and with each question I stalk towards him. “Being treated like trash by you? Being told I’m replaceable and unnecessary? Getting bossed around about who I can and can’t dance with because you suddenly decide to be the morality police!?”

“Jesus take it down a notch y/n.” We’re fuming as we square off. “I’m not your bloody fiancé.”

“And thank fuck you’re not!” I throw the clothes in my hand on the bed. “You’re my employer Mr. Styles and I’ve been nothing but a good fucking employee for the last year! I try to keep my patience and do everything I can to do my best! You’re the one always trying to blur lines! You’re the one always getting in my damn business when I don’t pay you to!”

With every accusation I poke my finger into his chest and it’s like literally pushing buttons. His face gets stonier and stonier until I’m sure he’s going to crack.

“You wanna know what your fucking issue is?” He swipes my hand away.

“Oh sure tell me, wise Harry Styles who definitely has no issues at all. Tell me.”

“This. This is your fucking issue,” he spits. “You’ve always got such a temper on you! I’m not blurring any bloody lines I check up on you and you get all offended over nothing!”

“Over nothing?” I ask. I laugh sarcastically and walk away from him. I was seeing red. “Over nothing?”

“Yes! I don’t do shite and suddenly you’re trying to bite my dick off.”

“You fucking wish,” I turn on him. “It’s crazy you don’t realize what an absolute jackass you are! We should be refunding all those fans who’ve come out to see you because the man they’re paying for is a fake! You’ve treated me like nothing and embarrassed me countless time-“

“Embarrassed you,” he scoffs.

“Yes!” I go on. “What do you call what you said on our way to Paris huh? You can be so cruel! So if I have a temper it’s justified because you’re one of the worst people I’ve met!”

“What did I say?”

“Are you kidding? You’re going to make me repeat it?” He was crazy. He was depraved and absolutely insane. Or he just hated me.

“I’m not playing a game just tell me!”

“You said I could have skipped the whole tour and nobody would notice.” I say the words that had looped through my head. And of course, he has the audacity to look surprised. “Thanks. A lot! It makes it even worse that you were so casual with your cruelt-“

“You need to stop being so sensitive,” he has the nerve to say. “Then maybe you can manage your temper.”

“I can manage my temper any time but you’re moody like a pre-pubescent teen and that looks to be a lifetime fucking problem!”

“What’s your fucking problem Y/n! What is your problem with me!? Why do you still work for me if you are this angry all the time!”

“I’m not this angry all the time, you just makes me this angry! And I hate you for it!”

“Then quit!”

“Maybe I will!” I had to. After tonight and this blowout I had to. How could I work for Harry like this.

“Great! Then you can take your problems with you.”

“Don’t gaslight me,” how dare he. “You’re not innocent in this! You create my problems and blame me for being this way.”

“Whatever y/n.”

“No.” I wasn’t letting him off the hook. I get in his face again. “Why did you stop me tonight? Why did you keep me from doing what I wanted tonight?”

“What? I told you I was looking out-“

“Bullshit!” I cut him off. “That’s a bullshit excuse, I want to know why!?”

I feel like I’m made of flames and in desperate need of a lobotomy. How could one guy make me this crazy. How could it all revolve around him.

“I was doing it for your own good! But clearly I understand why it’s so fucking complicated with your partner-“

“Don’t you dare talk about him,” I seethe. I was mad. Fuming. I want to get physical, I wish I could throttle him or at the very least access one of the pillows from across the room and smash it to the floor. I want him to see how angry I am because my words are twisted with every angle Harry could find. I wanted him to admit to something he’s been skirting for a long time. “Tell me.”

Harry stares at me with hate in his eyes and I know I have the same look. I wasn’t going to let him get away.

“You don’t even have the balls to admit it,” I poke. “Is this why you’re so hard-headed to anything I say? Because you can’t even admit something like this to yourself?”

“Just shut the fuck up y/n and stop being so mental.”

“I refuse to shut up. I want you to talk.”

His breathing gets faster and I watch him flex his hand. He was as angry as I was. Good.

“You’re a fraud. And I hate you.” I step into his space. Our bodies are a hair’s breadth away from each other’s. I want to show him how mad he makes me. I want to do something. I want him to admit this thing he’s been dancing around. It makes me so mad!

When he starts to shake his head at me I lose it. Instinct takes over where I want to physically show him how angry he was making me. I grab his face in my hands and push my mouth against his. I meet teeth.

But it doesn’t take long for him to respond. To correct the unadulterated anger with purpose.

He pushes back, kissing me harder whilst pushing me against the wall. I feel sandwiched, my chest crushed against his and I bite down on his lip trying to get back some control.

My hands are all over him, grabbing his shirt, running through his hair, pushing under his shirt to touch skin. Harry does the same, pulling at my hair and lifting me onto him.

Our tongues clash together, his hand grabs my ass, squeezing and moving up. His hands feel hot on my skin, his metal rings an icy contrast. Neither of us want to give up control. We keep fighting, just now with our bodies.

“Why can’t you ever just let it go,” he traces his teeth over my collarbone. It all feels too much.

In response I push him back, he stares at me for a heated second before we crash into each other again. We don't care where we are. All that mattered was here and showing the other who was in control. Who hated who the most.

Harry pulls away, his mouth a deep pink from our fight. His eyes are half lidded, his pupils dilated. I can tell he wants this but a part of him hesitates.

"We're doing this," I commit, not taking my eyes off his lips.

"I’m doing this," he growls and lifts me up, any hesitancy washed away. I wrap my legs around him, not thinking about anything but what I was going to do.

He whirls me around and deposits me onto the bed, and his body covers mine while his mouth attack my neck.

He wasn't gentle or slow, but then again, I didn't want him to be. I pull off his shirt, not wanting anything between us, not caring that my nails would leave marks down his back. Leaving something permanent on him sounded exactly what I needed.

I tug on his hair as his teeth come down on my chest. I feel heated as he swears, “Teasing me with this top all night was a fucking sin y/n.”

“Fuck off,” I gasp as he figures out the row of clasps at the front and the icy rings of his fingers presses against my sternum. I grit my teeth, “I didn’t wear this for you.”

His abs contract as he pushes himself back up, his eyes dark as his hands find the clasp on my trousers, undoing them with ease and tugging them off. His other hand comes back up to tilt my chin up.

“D’you really hate me?” He asks.

“Yes,” I respond with zero hesitation.

He moves his body, covering mine with his own again. My breath catches in my throat as he presses his lips to my neck, slowly moving down. He drives me crazy with anticipation and I wriggle up to keep up the pace but he holds me in place. I let out a moan as he kisses my inner thighs, his fingers gripping the tops of them. I'm squirming under his hold, the heat pooling inside of me.

“Do you hate me?” He asks again.

“Yes,” I cry, not wanting to relent to him.

“Good,” he says and that’s the last thing I remember.

The rest is a tangle of limbs, an out-of-body sensation, and seismic wave after wave coursing through my body. It’s unlike anything I’ve experienced before; the fury we felt with each other fuzes to the passion of the moment and it blitzes every damn thought out of my head.

Hours later, or maybe the whole night later—I don’t know but all I do know was that my body was spent and I was barely hanging on.

“I can’t,” I plant my hands on his shoulders and nearly pitch forward just from pausing. His hand splays on my back, keeping me in place as he turns us around.

“Okay?” He asks low.

I nod, grateful that he was taking over.

And after riding out what I know would be my last wave he rolls off of me, and we lay there just trying to catch our breaths.

After a few minutes, I sense him tilting towards me, his eyes on my face. When he stares for so long it becomes obvious, I look back at him.

His eyes are not the same ones that started this mess, they’re breezy meadows of green compared to the icy sea glass from before. But it’s not surprising. With each round and each minute we spent with other tonight, things had grown softer. Not gentle, but softer.

And as we look at each other with the awareness that the anger had bled into the threads of these tangled sheets a long time ago, we’re left with something neither of us want to distinguish. At least I don’t.

His gaze holds something too real for a place like this and I quickly look away and back at the ceiling. I feel his eyes on me a moment longer before he himself turns away to stare at the same ceiling.

“Y/N,” someone suddenly calls my name, tapping my cheeks with a gentle pat. I have to pull myself from the depths of wherever the fuck I just went to open my eyes and look up, at Harry. He looks concerned and asks me a question that I don’t register—I was truly out of it. I must have dozed off.

I push his hand away and grab the closest piece of clothing to wrap around myself in which ends up being a sheet. I take myself to the bathroom to clean up.

I hardly recognize the girl in the mirror. My eyes are blown out and my neck looks like it was rammed by a bull. I can hardly look at the rest of me. I would need to buy something high necked before we got picked up tomorrow morning and use all the concealer I had. I know I marked every inch of him I could find too.

I had never felt that level of passion with anyone. It was unnerving.

My knees collapse under me as I sit on the toilet and try to count the tiles on the opposite wall, just to come back to earth. To my body.

I sense a shadow under the door after I’m in there for a while, I watch it move from one side to the other and then move away. I wait longer, nearly falling asleep there before going back out.

The bed looks a right mess and most of the duvet is twisted to the side. I don’t bother with it, I use the sheet I’m wrapped in and crawl right into bed. Harry seems to have fallen asleep too but as I near sleep I feel the bed dip and the heavy weight of the duvet drapes over me.

I don’t have enough clarity or energy tonight to think about what any of this meant but I know I was right about leaving.

***

We return to London on a Wednesday morning and nearly kiss the ground. Harry was still playing two shows here but getting to go back home instead of a hotel room was enough to make us weep.

I didn’t really have a home to go back to. I’d been thinking about that a lot as the tour took us closer and closer to London. I had texted Gray yesterday and we agreed I could crash there until this weekend to get my stuff together.

London had a metaphorical grey fog over it in my mind. Nothing felt appealing about it and the only thing on my mind these days was home—my childhood home.

I already knew I was going to give in my resignation letter to Harry after tour but I had a 3 week period under contract. I don’t think I could afford a hotel for three weeks and staying with any of my friends is out of the question.

These thoughts kept me preoccupied.

It helped me not to think about that night though. I avoided Harry unless it was for work, returning to the solitude of my first few months working for him. He does the same: curt and avoidant. I know others notice but nobody dares to ask.

It was the most intense thing I’d done in my whole life and that was saying something. There was a way that Harry got under my skin that nobody else could. And it was hard to find a balance after the scales had shifted so far in that direction.

I felt like I had to block it out until I could have space to process it. And yet memories still seeped through when I was quiet for a moment too long or when he’d walk past me with the same cologne as that night and I’d catch a whiff. I was doubly sure this chapter had to close.

When I get back to the flat on Wednesday Gray has vanished as he promised. He told me he’d drop by that evening to talk. Surprisingly, I felt calm about it. I don’t know if it was getting all of that ferocious energy out that had been churning for months, but I feel level-headed and I appreciate the space to myself.

Gray texts me before he arrives. Like this wasn’t the flat he was now paying for alone.

I know what he wanted to talk about—we were all supposed to go to Harry’s last show at the o2 since I had tickets for everyone. Josie was stoked and based on the way she’s been texting me leading up to the day I don’t think she knew. Gray confirms it.

“So,” he rubs the back of his neck. He looked nice in a beanie and corduroy jacket. I wonder if any of the effort was for me, then vanish the thought.

“So,” I echo.

We stand awkwardly across from each other—him propping himself up behind the couch and me leaning against the dining table. Like we needed to get as much furniture between us. Like we hadn’t shared a bed a few weeks ago.

“We should sit?”

“Yeah,” he attempts a laugh and sits on the sofa. I choose the closest chair and turn it to face him. “Yeah. Um, I don’t know how you feel about Saturday. But I haven’t told Josie yet. I haven’t really told anyone.”

I nod, “Me too. Not really. People at work think we’re on a break.”

“Right. Good.” He says. “I’m not tryna lie to people but I don’t really want to get into it…”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “So Josie?”

“I’ll let her know once…once you move out?”

Move out. Of this flat. It’s been home for nearly 3 years.

Gray had surprised me with it when he found it—I had been broke and only been able to pitch in for utilities and groceries but he’d been gracious. He’d been supportive once. But I guess his support had boundaries too. I didn’t entirely blame him for that.

“Sounds good. Or later, maybe when she’s done her exams.”

He leans back on the couch, arms spread over the back and sighs as he studies me. “Yeah of course. I should’ve thought of that. You’re always good at that stuff. She’s gonna be gutted.”

I nod. Not sure what to say to that.

“So you’ll be out on Saturday yeah?” He asks after a while. It seemed both of us had a lot on our minds. But his question stings a little.

“Yep. I’m off for most of the week so I’ll just pack things up. Uhm, with Josie and whatnot I guess we’re still acting like a couple? Will that be weird?”

“Yeah. It will be but we’ve got no other option.”

“Right.” I respond. His voice grows an edge I’m not a fan of. “Well. Thanks for letting me stay here. If you need anything else I guess you can grab it now.”

I want to ask how he’s doing, who he’s staying with, and just hold his face one last time to really remember. But his cold apathy grows like frostbite over the room and creeps into my heart. I always thought where there was love there would always be love but I’m not as sure tonight.

I stay busy and when I can’t sleep at night; I map out a dream, an exit plan home. I write up my resignation letter, I look at flights and rentals and talk things out with my family, I cancel wedding and couple shit, and grieve a fair bit.

On Friday afternoon, my only formal shift this week, I head to Harry’s with an anxious weight in my chest and a buzz in my head from the hope. Hope that this chapter of my life could end soon, and I can head home and recuperate and plan out what my life was going to look like.

Harry’s on a call when I get in. He spares me a glance but I head to the office with my stack of mail. Today was mostly for some housekeeping/admin but I hope to avoid Harry for the most part like I’ve done since that night. My letter sits like a bar of gold in my bag.

I hear him move about the flat. I restock some pantry items, and we speak as little as possible. Going with him to his meeting was my final task for today so I decide it’s a good time to hand in my letter.

I find him sitting in the studio, tapping a pen against the table.

“Mr. Styles?”

“Hm?” He drags his eyes away from his screen to look at me.

“So we’re heading to your meeting in 10. Before then I just wanted to hand this in.”

The envelope stays outstretched in my hand and he eyes it, not taking it.

“What is that?”

“Can you just take it?” I shake it a little, like a bag of treats for a puppy.

His muscles move one inch every ten seconds, that’s how slow he is to sit up in his seat and finally take the letter from my hands. I almost let out a big sigh of relief. The process was finally in place.

“What is it?” He asks again, tearing the corner and down the side like he usually did.

I wait for him to unfold the thirds before answering, “my resignation letter.”

His eyes scan the sheet left to right right to left and when he looks up at me it’s hard to say what he’s thinking.

“Is this a joke?”

“No? Obviously not? I’m handing in my 3 weeks. I’ll also email a copy to Jeff and you.”

“Why are you doing this?” He stands, his tall frame rigid.

“Why? Because I’m…I’m quitting? I think I’ve learned everything I could here a-and it’s time to move on.”

By here I don’t mean working for Harry Styles and co but just here as in London. I’ve learned a fuck ton of life lessons here, and it was time to process them elsewhere.

“Is this to get back at me somehow? I don’t understand,” the papers crinkle in his fist as he grips it tighter. “Do you want a raise? Can we talk about this?”

“No.” I say and even though there’s so much more I could say I think that sums up my answer.

He looks puzzled, then annoyed. Just then my phone buzzes. The car was downstairs.

I grab my laptop and we head down. I was coming along to take minutes and then head home. In the car I reassure Harry,

“I plan on wrapping things up in the next three weeks and making sure everything is set up for an easy transition. I’ll leave continuity notes and reach out to people I regularly communicate with to break the news. The next couple months are pretty easy anyway coming out of tour and going on holiday so there should be plenty of time for the new PA, whoever your hire, to catch up.”

He doesn’t say a word. It reminds me of our first drive to the studio together. How naïve I was. How things changed.

He continues staring out the window, resting his face on his fist. I remember my teeth dragging over that jaw. I blink the image away; this was why I had to go.

When we get to Graham’s office Harry tells Jeff, “we don’t need minutes.”

Jeff looks over at me for answers and I shrug. I guess I came here for no reason but at least I had my laptop to work.

“Uh y/n please come i-“

“She’s fine working out there,” Harry cuts Graham off. Graham looks offended, his gaze drawing between Harry and I. Again, I shrug. I wasn’t leaving today I don’t know why he was acting like it.

For the next hour or so I sit at a spare cubicle and do just as I said in the car. I type out lists for upcoming interviews and studio days. I send emails for information to note for whoever the poor person was to replace me.

I had been keeping the Dos and Don’ts updated over the last year and it feels like a baby the way it came together with so much thought. I was almost sad to part with it.

Nobody tells me the meeting is over. The door simply opens and Harry breezes past.

“I’ll be in the car.” He mutters. Any faster and I would have to hold down the papers around me.

When he’s gone beyond sight, I turn back to the open door.

“What’s the matter with him?” I hear Graham asking inside.

“You keep pushing him,” Jeff responds with irritation. “That’s not his brand Graham.”

“Well that’s a different tune. Prior to this you were singing my praises with these new ideas.”

“I don’t know. Something’s been up with him for…a while-“

“Since that article isn’t it?” Graham references the Harry Styles slander when we were in Spain. Little did they know other things had also happened.

“We dealt with that article.”

Shit, I think. Has he been any different? I think I was keeping too much distance from him to notice.

“Y/n,” my name snaps me out of my thoughts.

“Mhm?” I’m beckoned to the meeting room. “Yes?”

“Find out what’s wrong with him. Or better yet just convince him to be a bit more alive at his last show tomorrow with his usual charm? He hasn’t been his full capacity the last few shows has he?”

Shit. “Um. Burnout?”

The two men look at each other. They make a face like that couldn’t possibly be why. I tell the men what they want to hear, that I’d try to find out and get him back to his charming self (yuck) before joining Harry in the car.

“Jeff and Graham aren’t all that happy with you,” I say when we start driving. Harry was giving me a lift home. “They’re insisting you do it right at your final tomorrow. Be your charming self.”

He grunts in response, head facing the window again. Was he allergic to look forward in the car or something?

“Are you coming?” He asks after a good ten minutes of silence.

“Tomorrow?”

“Mhm.”

“Yeah. I gave my extra tickets to…my fiance,” my brain fumbles my words as it remembers what he was and now is. And the lie I had to keep up. “And his sister and her friend.”

He just nods in acknowledgement, somehow stonier.

When the car pulls up to my familiar building I thank his driver and begin my shimmy out but Harry puts a hand to my knee to stop me. His touch sears right through my stockings and he must feel it too because he slides his hand back.

“Answer this,” he looks at me for the first time tonight. Wow, this really did feel like my first week on the job.

“Sure,” I reply.

“Is it because of that night?”

It’s the first time it’s been mentioned, and his gaze burns brighter than a forest fire. It’s mesmerizing and I can’t look away.

Wait, he wanted an answer.

“It’s because of a lot of things,” I answer truthfully.

He clenches his jaw. Leans back in his seat. The seatbelt reverses to hold him in place again and he’s no longer looking at me. I take that as my cue to go.

***

Josie bursts into the flat dressed to the nines in a groovy floral jumpsuit and boas in her hand. “Don’t worry. I have one for each of us.”

Her friend trails behind her in an equally 70s inspired look.

“That’s what you’re wearing?” Josie judges her brother’s hoodie and jeans. “You’re lowering the vibe Gray do better. Y/n? Why didn’t you brief him?”

“I did!” I eye Gray. “Don’t blame me.”

This was way more awkward than I thought. Or I really was not as good of an actress as I wished.

“What am I supposed to wear?” Gray asks. “I’m not wearing a jumpsuit.”

Josie rolls her eyes. “Y/n please drag him back and find a decent tee or something?”

“Yes ma’am,” I take Gray by the arm and take him back.

“This is kinda weird hey?” I whisper when we close the door.

“I don’t really like it either,” Gray scratches his head. “But it’s for the best.”

I nod and then louder announce, “Well it’s Jo’s night so find something a tad more retro?”

We end up with a red tee and find a belt to tie the look. Josie hugs her brother with thanks when she sees it.

I had on a pair of black bellbottoms paired with a blank tank. My hair was in spacebuns and Josie plucks a few boa feathers to accessorize my hair. It’s cute.

We head off and I have to make a conscious effort to remember my mannerisms with Gray before all this. I feel woozy while I slide my hand into his on the ride there, as Josie snaps our pics on her disposable, as she tells us to get one of us where Gray’s kissing my cheek and she’ll save it to show our kids. It makes me sick.

He keeps an arm on my waist as we walk. I want this night to be over so bad but every time I look Josie’s way I perk back up a little. I wanted her to enjoy this.

And she does. I’m sure she’s lost her voice by the end of the concert. At one point we drift away a little and breathe easier to drop the act but when she’s back Gray wraps his arms around me from behind and we act like a happy couple. Again, I felt sick.

Being in Gray’s arms held none of the spark it used to. I just feel awkward and sad.

At one point Harry looks my way, I don’t know how he spotted me in such a big crowd. It’s between songs and he looks at the group I’m with. I give a pathetic wave and he nods ever so slightly, his gaze sliding off soon after. Gray’s arm tightens around my shoulder and my heart gives a squeeze in response. I’m reminded: this era was ending.

The band told me to meet them backstage at the end, to join in on the final-show celebration. Josie and Gray would wait at a local pub and with the way Josie’s Instagram stories were glowing I could imagine her sitting there uploading it all.

“I couldn’t have done it without any of you,” I catch Harry saying as I slip behind stage with my pass. “I know I’ve not been the easiest to be with but you all sit in my heart. This is our Euro tour, concluded.”

Somebody pops bubbly and I congratulate the whole team as they drink. They insist on going out for proper drinks and I’m denied not going. They tell me to invite my guests to party with them and I know, based on where we were going, Josie was going to flip.

Juniper, a club that gets us all in on Harry’s face card, is opulent and lively on the inside. Josie is buzzing about with her friend—Gray had opted to go home, claiming he had early morning sessions. Josie didn’t think twice about him, but we pretended to go back and forth with a final warning from Gray to Josie to behave.

“He’s a broody one,” Charlie comments on Gray as we chatter while we get drinks. “Sister?”

“Yeah. Doesn’t know yet though so,” I put my finger to my lip.

“So no Barcelona dancing tonight?” Sarah teases. I laugh and tell them to keep me tamed. “We gotta do some shots with the team though where is everyone?”

We gaze around the room and manage to get everyone together. After one round of shots and another that Harry forced on all of us I feel the tension I’ve been carrying with me most days slide away.

We end up sticking together as a group and dance together, laughing and cheering each other on. Even Harry’s in a cheery mood—I suspect the alcohol. I catch him watching me at one point and when I raise my brow he takes my hand and spins me in a friendly twirl. I trip on my wide-legged pants and he catches me from behind. With my back to his chest I have the urge to turn around and kiss him and feel the peculiar comfort I had received from him before. That thought drives me away from him again. Despite the tight knit group there’s too much between us to even attempt being close.

I call it quits when Josie finds me and announces she was going home. I hug the newfound family I had made over the last few months one final goodbye, knowing I might never see them together like this again.

***

Jeff’s reaction to my news surprises me the most. He’s visibly upset and tries to sell me anything to stay. I tell him there was nothing to keep me at my job but I would rely on him for a good reference. I think it’s the first time he’s ever reassured me.

Between Harry and I it remains curt. Sometimes even edgy. I post my own job replacement and Jeff keeps me updated on potential candidates. By the time my last week rolls around I’m host to a roil of emotions.

The first week homeless, Charlie had let me crash on her couch and promised not to say a word to anyone. I didn’t want to overstay my welcome and so I had checked into a hotel and called it home for now.

I’m on my way back home to the hotel after being at Gray’s. We’d invited Josie over for dinner now that her exams were over and she’d been suspicious from the start.

We had told her the truth and she refused to believe it, hurt and betrayal in her eyes as she looked at me and realized she had been kept in the dark for the last week. I felt worse then, than I did when Gray and I called it quits.

I promised her a lunch together this week to talk more. Just because I was out of Gray’s life didn’t mean I had to be out of hers. I thought I could also tell her then that I was leaving to go back home.

On my second last day at work, Harry sends me on an errand near the end of the day. When I get back there’s a small group of friendly and familiar faces waiting to surprise me. I’m touched by the gesture, and I try to corner Harry to say thank you but it feels he avoids me at every chance, always in a larger crowd.

I finally catch him while I’m heading out of the bathroom and he’s heading down the hall.

“Oh hey,” I step in his way. He looks cornered. “I just wanted to say thanks for throwing this.”

“Yeah,” he gestures it was nothing. “It was Jeff’s idea.”

Ouch. I hide the sting. “Well. Thanks regardless.”

He nods, staying mute, but his eyes speak a thousand words—just none that I can read. They stay trained on me, communicating whatever.

Slowly the furrow between his brows eases and the sharp edges of his face give way to a softened expression. I’m scared to move in case I break the trance and don’t get to hear whatever his racing thoughts spit out. Just when it looks like he’s about to say something, a guest turns the corner up the hall.

“Anyone in the toilet?” It was Mitch. Damnit.

“Nope,” I step out of the way, inadvertently brushing Harry. A shiver runs up my spine and I try to act casual but he stiffens beside me. Was it that awful being around me, jeez.

I give up. If he wanted to continue staying moody, so be it. I leave to go back to the party and don’t look back.

My final days in London are hard. The same way I arrived, I go: alone and unsure of what’s ahead.

I always thought here was where I would stay forever. And maybe one day I would return but there was a little too much friction between me and the Capital.

I finish work on an unremarkable note after going through processes with the new hire, and dotting all of my i’s. Harry is nowhere to be seen and I’m gone before he gets back. I’m frustrated that he’s behaving this way but there’s also too much between us for the simple goodbye I yearn for.

I visit all of my old favourites, have one last drink at my old local pub somewhere in between Gray’s flat and Harry’s. I shed a lot of tears on my pilgrimage through the city’s veins. I promise the paved and cobblestone roads I would be back one day.

The walls of my lungs ease open on the flight home. Still, tears cascade down my face silently as the plane sleeps. Eventually I do too. When I wake the sky is filled with bright blinding sunrise, and American soil peeks out below me: I was finally home.

••••••••••••••••••••

Present (2 years on):

My heart flutters seeing Harry here, I chalk it up to anxiety. But it annoys me that despite all the distance and the growth, he still had an effect on me.

Harry’s head turns and before I can be smart about it our eyes lock. His eyebrows raise ever so slightly before his face falls into a nonchalant facade again. I don’t even want to know what my face looked like.

Then he gets the nerve to smirk, hang his head, and then grab his drink and walk towards me.

“If I had a cross I would be holding it up right now.” I have to shout a little so he hears me before he gets to me. He was an emotional vampire feeding on all of mine.

“Now why’s that?” He continues towards me. My emotions swirl through me. “I thought time heals all wounds. Why the unfriendly welcome Mrs. Duran?”

I grit my teeth at the name, he was still filled with poison. “Right, the timeless wisdom of clichés.”

“I like to think I’m pretty timeless.” He smiles.

“I’ve found that time may heal wounds, but scars make sure you never forget.”

“Well, scars aside, you look good,” he moves on and I feel like an idiot the way I was used to feeling around him.

“Of course I do.”

“What are you doing in London? Last I checked I was getting a reference check from America.”

I debate not answering him but I was trying to straddle the line between indifference and confidence. It was like walking a tightrope.

“I’m in London for a little while,” I give vaguely.

“Ah,” he smiles and damnit I forgot how handsome he could be. How handsome could then turn into seductive so quickly. I had to remember: Still a devil. “Are you looking for a new employer? Because I could be hiri-“

“No.” I cut him off. “I finally have a job I love so I’m good.”

Something flickers in his eyes but surprisingly he stays quiet.

“What are you doing here?” I ask. I sort of wish I still had a drink in my hand, they feel awkward and clunky and I want to avoid playing with my hair. Gah. “Global star drinks alone at his local bar?”

He laughs but I can tell I hit a minor nerve. “Here I’m just a local. Always have been—it’s nice to be anonymous for a little bit.”

I roll my eyes. I didn’t believe that for a second. He loved his fame and everything that came with it.

Plus I used to come here all the time, I would’ve known if my employer was a local too. He was lying for some reason.

“Mr. Styles if there’s one thing I remember about you, you’d choose death over anonymity.”

“Firstly,” he leans in and I get a whiff of his usual cologne with a hint of malt. “A person can change a lot. So maybe you don’t know me as much as you think you do-“

“Oh I don’t think anyone can change that drastically in only a year-“

“You seemed to have.”

His words take mine out of my mouth. I hadn’t changed, not really. I’d always been this y/n but the further I got away from him the more reassured I had gotten being that y/n.

“And secondly,” he continues before I could think of a response. “You no longer work for me. Harry is fine.”

The smile he throws me is almost sweet if I didn’t know the cruelty that could hide underneath. I don’t return the smile, I only raise my brow and look back down at my phone. My cell service hasn’t gotten any better and I’d missed the wifi password.

I could connect to Harry’s wifi, ask him so that I could order an uber.

I’d rather van gogh my ear.

I weigh all my options and consider the last one again. I look up to see what Harry was doing in the silence and find him looking at me. A shiver runs up my spine as our eyes clash. So much history and words unspoken fall in between. A very specific night flashes through my mind. I wonder if it does him because he looks down first. Damn.

“So I’ve gotta get going,” I say.

“Let me buy you a drink.” He says at the same time.

He laughs awkwardly and repeats, “One drink?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“We’re not drinking buddies.” I pull my purse to my chest, wanting to hop off this stool and run home if I need to. Put as much distance between myself and this man that was put on this earth to confuse me.

“Then what are we y/n?” He asks, his voice silky smooth as he leans in. The voice that whispered sweet nothings into my ear in my worst nightmares, nightmares of cotton sheets and heated limbs, of passion and shame.

“Ex-employer,” I point to him. I point to myself, “Ex-employee.”

“Exes have drinks together,” he grins full well knowing the double meaning.

“Never ends well,” I eye the door.

“Just as stubborn as I remember.”

“And you were saying people change?” I raise my brow.

He drops the smile and sighs, “I’m not gonna be able to convince ya am I?”

I shake my head. He should know that by now.

“Can I walk you out at least?”

I shrug, couldn’t hurt.

“What is this?” I ask as he opens the door for me.

“What?”

“This? Why are you trying to be so friendly?”

“I thought we could be friendly exes.”

And when did he get so cheeky.

“Something weird is going on,” I watch him stay in step with me as I walk up. With no service I was going to take the tube. “And I don’t like it.”

“Nothing weird is going on don’t get all paranoid on me.”

“Don’t call me paranoid! You never call a woman paranoid.”

“I thought that was conspiracy theorists?”

“Nooo. You’re being weird.”

"Alright, no need to get all Freudian on me. Just trying to be a decent human here."

I shake my head, somehow in our exchange my face had decided it was okay to smile. To forget what he put me through and remember instead that when things were good between us we actually got along.

Damnit. The devil knew how to play tricks. I wipe the smile off my face while he continues walking with me.

“So…what have you been up to?” He asks.

“Working, you know me.” I say after trying to figure out what his angle was but unable to find one.

“Oretta Smith I hear, how did you manage that?”

“I’m just that good Harry,” I say. His name is weird in my mouth. Sure I called him that in my head but I usually used Mr. Styles. I can tell he feels the same with his quick glance my way.

“How do you like that?”

“Yeah, she’s a great employer like I said. Very professional. Lots of flexibility.” Each praise is a knock to his ego. But it was all true, plus with Winnie joining the team I had a friend my age that felt great.

But there was also a darker side called burnout that I barely admitted to myself. Ever since we landed in London and I had time to orient my new self in a city that molded my old self, I felt the familiar singe of purposeless. But I keep it to myself of course.

“Great.” Harry responds curtly. “What about yourself? How’s your life, are you finally married?”

My instinct is to raise my defences and chew him out, he must know Gray and I were done what with me living in the States.

And yet, when I peer past the defences and take a long hard look at him I realize he is asking earnestly and without another angle.

We’re nearing the tube now. I hesitate in lying or telling the truth.

“We broke up,” I choose to confess. I peek at him and he looks surprised, even sorry.

“I didn’t know. Sorry.”

“I’d hope not,” I reply. “Otherwise you’d be an asshole calling me Mrs. Duran.”

He huffs an awkward laugh.

“Anyway this is me—

“I can give you a ride home—wherever that is right now?” He asks.

We’re stood in front of the glass doors. There’s not a lot of people this time of night. And as tempting as his offer was, the way he looks at me right now sends poisonous butterflies to my stomach and I think it’s best I get home for the big day tomorrow and not make any regrets.

“I’m not too far,” I lie. I point a thumb to the doors behind me. “I’m just gonna…”

“Yeah. Yeah right.” He’s awkward, which is a first. He clears his throat and stuffs his hand into his pocket. I watch him with a removed sort of curiosity. Eventually he coughs out his question. “How long are you in London for?”

“A few weeks,” I reply.

He finally meets my eyes again—and there goes my stomach. He was supposed to have zero effect on me, I was supposed to stay mad at him. Why was my body betraying me? Why did it continue to loop memories from that night and remind me of the things he whispered in the dark?

“A few weeks,” he murmurs back.

His gaze travels over my face openly, no longer holding back the barely-hidden expressions from before. Because I told him Gray and I weren’t a thing? Because I was entertaining whatever bullshit this was?

“Yep,” I nod. Awkward. Nervous. Cautious.

“My number’s the same,” his eyes snap back to mine. “If you want to go for that drink later.”

“Harry,” I try to break it to him another way. I wish I could just say I never want that drink. “I don’t think-“

“Don’t think,” he cuts me off. He laughs when I furrow my brows. “I mean, I’m right here for most of the next few weeks. When you feel like you want to have that drink just give me a call. Or text.”

Why, I want to ask him. Why, after all this time, after everything that happened? And it’s like he reads my mind in the silence.

“I know you left on a pretty poor note.” He shuffles his feet. “I know a lot of that was my fault. I apologize for that. Um, but I did enjoy having you around. You were excellent at your job and…you are missed. Even Jeff remembers you fondly. Which is saying something.”

This was some sort of prank. Or Harry had gotten so famous he now had a doppelgänger roaming the streets as him. It couldn’t be that Harry, my Harry, would say something so sentimental and so…genuine.

“So uh yeah, I would love to see you again while you’re in town.” He says when I don’t respond.

“Right.” I choke out.

He shrugs when I can’t bring myself to say anything more. “We do change, whether you believe it or not y/n.”

I swallow, hoping to lubricate my vocal cords and find my voice. “I-I really do have to go.”

Crestfallen, he nods. His hand comes up to touch my elbow. “Yeah ‘course. Just…think about it?”

I look down at his hand and he lets go, we stay in another bubble of silence. His eyes flicker down to my lips and I feel a wave of warmth as I try not to do the same.

“Goodnight,” I blurt and get to the other side of the glass doors. He watches me go.

On the escalator down I risk a glance back and he’s still there, watching until I’m out of sight. That ended incredibly awkward.

Leave it up to Harry to confuse me in coming back into my life. Damn him, he could never be consistent.

***

Waking up super early to catch the train out to Cambridge is so worth it because I get to watch Josie walk the stage and graduate with distinction wearing her famous smile that beams over the vast room.

Despite what happened with Gray and I, Josie and I have kept in touch steadily over the last year. It started as weekly facetimes which reduced down to monthly calls and have now become a steady stream of texts and memes swapped back and forth.

When she found out I’d be in London around her graduation dates she gave me no choice but to show up, sending me a ticket without asking.

I knew I’d see Gray, and a part of me was nervous and curious how that was going to go. But mostly I was grateful to still be in Josie’s life and spend time with her in person. She was the part of this life I missed most.

I’m sat somewhere in the middle of the room and Josie was smart enough not to seat me with the rest of her guests. But I know I would see everyone during photos and the dinner we were having later on. I try keep my focus on the ceremony however.

“Y/N!” Josie rushes towards me when she sees me after the ceremony. The group she departs from I recognize is a mix of her girl friends, her family, and a few others.

“Josie!” I return the same energy and she leaps into my arms. I squeeze her tight to me. “I’m soo proud of you my girl.”

We sway side to side, until we get enough hug.

“Look at you!” She exclaims when she leans back. “Your hair looks amazing and you are glowing. Please tell me you have a boy in your life.”

“No,” I laugh.

“A girl?” She asks hesitantly.

“No! I’m just…happy where I am right now! How about you look at you! You look phenomenal as per.”

“Oh thanks,” she takes the compliment and giggles. “I asked my dad to grad gift me a salon and spa visit so I am rejuvenated and blown out.”

“Aren’t you ever,” I touch a lock of her hair. “Congratulations.”

“Eek!” She squeals. “Finally finished this hellscape! I can’t wait to never write an exam again—ooh wait I want you to meet my boy…”

“So that’s why we’re actually glowing,” I tease as she tugs me towards the group. That definitely has Gray. My stomach drops the closer we get, he doesn’t seem to notice. He looks busy talking to one of Josie’s friends.

“Anyway,” she deposits me in front of a 6 foot something guy made of angles. “This is Jax. My boyfriend. We met during a Friendsgiving Myles threw last year.”

“Nice to meet you,” Jax smiles. “Y/N right?”

“Yes!”

“I was supposed to get around to that,” Josie huffs.

“Sorry she talked about you a lot when she found out you were coming. She was really excited.”

“Ugh,” she turns to me like she was embarrassed but her face is glowing. Josie was in looove.

“You two are so cute,” I tease which just makes Josie blush a little harder. “So are we getting any pictures?”

“Oh yeah,” Jax swivels his head. “Liliya has the good camera if you want to get-“

“Oh we can use our phones,” Josie cuts him off.

“No get the high res one—Liliya, camera?” Jax motions a shuttering action to the friend Gray was talking to. He’s so tall above the crowd that both look up at him and comply.

“Y/N,” Josie drags my arms back and takes me on the outskirt of the crowd. “I’m so sorry I never mentioned because I thought you wouldn’t come if I did tell you but you-“

“Y/N?”

Josie’s rushed whispers are cut short when Gray notices me and calls my name. He looks stupefied. I spare a glance to Josie and she’s paled.

She didn’t tell him.

“Hey,” I force a friendly tone. I was going to kill that girl.

“Did you all want a photo?” Josie’s friend Liliya shoulders her way back into the circle with the camera on a strap. She turns to Gray, “Babe?”

It’s an odd sensation, like all oxygen has left my lungs and they’re being squeezed as if tightened in a vice. Gray’s eyes drag away from me to his…girlfriend? Definitely not Josie’s friend.

It shakes me in the moment how much I realize I still cared, still carried a shred of hope for…something. And not consciously knowing this makes this moment feel a little like a slap in the face.

What did I think? I was going to leave this country for a year and people were going to pause where I last left them? Of course Gray’s moved on. Aside from the end he was a great partner and anybody would want that.

These thoughts race through my head in the few seconds Gray responds to his girlfriend and I look at Josie. She looks guilty as charged.

“I tried to tell you just now?” She whispers.

Deep breaths, I remind myself. You’re not the hot-headed y/n these people knew last. This day is not about you. It’s about Josie.

“It’s cool. Let’s get some photos,” I smile. “Don’t want to miss having them with you.”

She sighs but keeps her eyes on my face as we walk farther out.

“I am really sorry,” she whispers.

“Hey it’s alright,” I lie. This was the worst of it—Gray had moved on, had a great girlfriend, and I was living the life I wanted. No harm and no foul. “Honestly Jo I get it, you wanted me here reallllly bad.”

“I did!” She says. “But I’m also gonna kill Jax.”

I laugh and we straighten up when we realize the camera was already pointed at us. Josie flashes her degree and a few of her friends join the pictures too. We hustle back to Gray to see them and flipping back on the first few makes my breath catch in my throat. There’s one in particular where Josie is turned to me talking and my mouth is in a big grin because I’m laughing.

I catch eyes with Gray in an uncomfortably intimate second.

“Send me that one for sure wow Gray that’s a really good shot.”

“Oh wow,” his girlfriend peers over. “That’s a great candid.”

“Yeah,” I agree. I’d love a copy too. And of course that’s when Gray’s girlfriend notices me and introduces herself.

“I don’t think we’ve met—is that an American accent I detect?”

“It is,” I smile. “I’m Y/N.”

“Oh!” Two spots of pink appear on her face. It seems she’s heard of me. “Well it’s nice to meet you—nice that Josie invited you! I’m Liliya but Lily works too.”

“C’mon!” Josie interrupts the awkward by grabbing her brother’s arm and pushes him in the direction of where her friends are posing for photos. He takes some shots but Josie hates the look of them and gives the camera to Lily instead.

With just Gray and I left behind it grows very awkward.

“I thought Josie told everyone I would be-“ I say just as he says, “I didn’t realize you would be-“

We stop and chuckle awkwardly.

“Sorry,” I shake my head.

“No,” he shrugs. “It’s cool. It’s cool you’re here actually.”

“Okay,” is all I can say. Until the awkward silence stretches. “So…Liliya?”

“Yeah. Yeah, Liliya. You?”

I want to lie, but I shake my head. “No. Sorta needed the year to breathe a little.”

“Fair. How’s America?”

“Oh y’know, still super-sized and politically a guessing game.”

“Have you turned on our news while you’ve been down at all?” He raises a brow. I laugh because he was right. It was all a shitshow everywhere.

He asks me about my family as Josie jogs up to us.

“Okay, tell me the truth is my hair going flat?”

“No,” I look behind her where her friends are hovering over Lily and the camera going over their photos.

“Good. Where’s mum and dad?” Josie asks Gray. “Dad was just here 10 minutes ago he said he’d come by for—oh there’s mum! Look!”

We turn to where she points. Michelle—what I’ve always called Gray’s mom, spots her daughter at the same time and waves. She starts to walk towards us.

It’s nice to see her but I also feel a bit nervous; going cold turkey on relationships you only had because of an ex are always weird to come back to. Especially ones you were fond of.

“Mum! You’re missing all the pictures!” Josie says. “Where’ve you been!?”

“I just saw somebody I knew back from my first job as a librarian can you believe that?” Michelle says as she joins the group.

“Crazy. Well mum look who got to show up today! Isn’t that crazy too?”

Michelle looks at me and the bright smile that was intended for her daughter dies like a flower in overnight frost. The look wipes the anticipation off my face.

“Who?”

That one word shades the sun from the sky and brings forth a gust of western winds through the group.

“Mum,” Josie look between me, her mum, and Gray. She’s confused. “Y/N?”

“Hey Michelle,” I croak. Maybe my hair was too different for her to recognize me, or maybe she had early onset alzheimers. Surely this woman who I’ve had a better relationship with than her own son has wouldn’t be treating me like your worst frenemy at your high school reunion.

But Michelle looks right through me. I can’t explain how it feels, not in the moment. I’m gutted, and feel an unexplainable wave of sadness.

“Mum…” Josie sounds hurt and Gray finally decides to swoop in.

“Mum let’s check out the photos we took already. We gotta get some of the three of us.”

They walk away and I feel seven inches tall but I turn to Josie with a brave face and face her teary one.

“That was kind of awkward,” I downplay.

“Y/N I’m honestly so sorry I-,” Josie blinks rapidly.

“No it’s ok!”

“I don’t know why she acted like that-“

“Hey It’s natural for her to feel that way I’m alright don’t get upset-“

“It’s not alright though! That was such a…she never acts like that.”

It was true. Michelle was a free-spirit as she called herself. That’s why Gray had such a hard relationship with her; in his words, she was too emotional and ungrounded for him.

Yet apparently, she was able to find enough ground to stand on when it came to treating me like a nobody. I wonder if it’s because she heard Gray’s biased side of the story or she was hurt herself—still, the way she’s always talked about herself never struck me as someone who would believe a one-sided story. Or be a bitch to someone they previously called their daughter. It hurt like a mofo.

I didn’t want Josie to find out this way, here of all places, that her mom was just human after all. She idolized that woman.

So even though it hurt, I comfort her instead.

“She probably just feels betrayed by me leaving and stuff since we were close too. Imagine if Jax broke up with you and she gave him the cold shoulder—wouldn’t you feel justified?”

Josie scrunches her brows to think about the simplified story I’ve just fed her to feel better. I can tell it still doesn’t sit well with her but she nods in acceptance, “I guess.”

“Yeah, just forget it Josie. Plus you’ve got pictures to take so dry those eyes.”

“Shit I know,” she blinks some more. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to invite you here and twist the knife at every bloody turn.”

“Jo I’m honoured to get to be here and see all your hard work pay off. Don’t worry about anything else.”

“It’s unfair,” she says before she drifts to her group of friends. “I feel like nobody understands how…how understanding you are. But I’m really glad we’re still in touch. And you came for me.”

Her words bring tears to my eyes and I nod, afraid that talking would bring them forward. I watch her crash her group and start instructing photo coordination. I help hold things for people while they take photos and feel like a stranger outside the crowd. If it weren’t for Josie, I think I would have regretted coming here. I feel homesick and unwanted. A tough combo.

I was supposed to crash on someone’s couch tonight and do brunch with Josie tomorrow before going back to London but from the last half hour alone I know I’m going back to the city no matter how late it gets tonight. I think of the hotel room that was home right now, of how lonely that was going to feel to go back to too.

Home right now was in America, in the same time zone as my family, and comfortable in my shared apartment with one of my high school best friends who I reconnected with after going back home. I miss it so bad. And I feel like I’ve bitten into an unripe fruit coming back to the UK before I was ready apparently. My experience feels soured.

I shake off the doom and gloom when the party breaks. We were all going to meet at the restaurant at 6–my plan was to explore the university city and find a place to kill some time in. Maybe go outside to a park with lunch. Josie tries to convince me to join her and her friends for their mid-day celebration but I lie and tell her I had some work to do.

I call Winnie on my stroll through the city. I insist she update me on last night first, and she has more to tell—the guy had a yacht and he was inviting her to a party tonight. She tells me to join if I came back early and we cross our fingers that Oretta wouldn’t need her before then.

I originally called her to rant about Michelle and Gray but I don’t, I didn’t want to kill her vibe. So I scroll through my other contacts but don’t want to worry my mom and it was too early back home to reach anyone else.

My eyes catch on Harry’s name, he was at the top of my texts currently because he sent me a link this afternoon asking me for thoughts on it. I hadn’t opened it yet, I wasn’t sure what to think about this new persona he was wearing or that he thought yesterday’s run-in went okay enough to casually message me for my thoughts.

I remember the weird electricity of yesterday and shove my phone back into my pocket.

He genuinely wanted to have a drink? And talk??

I did enjoy having you around. You were excellent at your job and you are missed.

Was he trying to make up for his cruel words? But he also seemed a lot more mellow than before. Maybe that was just because I didn’t work for him. What did he want? And was I twisted for believing the new schtick?

Most curious of all was him at the pub in the first place. He was not a local there—that was a big lie.

I try to conjure up my previous hatred, calling him the Devil in my head. But it’s harder to do. Seeing him yesterday, he was just a man standing in front of a woman with a head full of cautionary tales and bad experiences.

Without warning images from that night come back and I feel my heart flutter. I shut them down just as quick. Not all bad, my body tries to remind me. I tell it to shut up.

I’ve barely stepped foot in this country again and already my mind was running circles around my heart. How exhausting.

***

I’m early to the restaurant, before anyone else apparently. As the hostess finds my name on her floor plan Josie comes in behind me with Jax.

“Oh! Y/n you’re early!” She seems flustered.

“Yeah I didn’t think I would be,” it was only a few minutes to 6.

We make small talk while we’re led to the table, Josie’s eyes keep darting to where our table might be.

“Sorry I was hoping to do this before you came,” she says when we get there. There are name cards along the 7 seats and she picks the one in front of me. “I’m just gonna move mum to my other side so it doesn’t get weird. Which means she’ll be closer to dad but…I think he’s bailing since his girlfriend doesn’t want to do this.”

Josie shrugs, I know how she feels about her dad’s girlfriend. She begins explaining the plans she has to do dinner with her dad later this week and the more she talks the more I can tell that she feels awkward. And I hate that it’s because of me. At one point Jax and I catch eyes and pass an awkward smile.

“Josie,” I walk up to her fiddling with the name tags. She stops talking immediately. I grip her shoulders. “Thanks.”

“Sorry,” she whispers. I wrap my arms around her and she melts into me.

“Stop apologizing.”

“Sorry. I can’t help it. It’s a disease.”

We let go with a laugh and she seems more stable. “This is going to be fine.”

Famous last words.

It’s definitely not fine and very awkward. Jax ends up sitting in front of me, and even though Liliya’s name tag was beside mine it’s suddenly swapped as they slide in and Gray sits beside me. I guess it might be too awkward for her but not awkward enough to fit someone we both dated between us.

I can sense Michelle’s pinched face as she notices us sitting beside each other and I feel badly for Josie the most as she tries to play the gracious host. At one point I sense Jax laying a hand on her arm and taking over, asking Michelle questions about her yoga and getting her talking.

“Did you need more?” Gray turns to me with the wine bottle, it’s the second thing he’s said to me tonight. Otherwise he mostly just watches me talk and leans back enough when others are talking so I can be involved.

“I’m okay,” I whisper. I didn’t want to draw any attention while Michelle was talking. She hadn’t said a peep to me, even when Josie tried to involve us both in a shared memory. She continued acting like I was Casper the ghost.

I can feel Lily’s eyes on us as Gray offers wine, of course they would be. No wonder Gray barely spoke to me all night. Fuck me, what was I doing here.

Jax is a sweetheart, asking me about my job and encouraging conversation between the both of us. I’m so happy for Josie that she found a partner like him.

By the time dinner is over I mostly want to cry. I feel spent. But I also feel like I crashed an intimate dinner and everyone’s polite enough not to mention it. Despite Josie, I do actually regret coming.

As we pay the bill and shuffle out, Josie grabs my arm.

“So I have two friends where you can crash at their place or Jax can sleep over at mine and you can sleep at his or-“

“I think I’m gonna head back to the city.”

Her face falls. But it’s like she knew I was going to say that.

“Sorry Jo. I think you should come to the city next week—maybe visit your brother? And while you’re down we’ll do brunch then. I’m mostly free while I’m here. I’m just pretty tired and have to help Winnie with something tomorrow.”

“Really?” She says in the smallest voice I’ve heard out of her. Salt to my wounds.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I know we were looking forward to getting time together.”

She juts out her lip and I’m reminded of the girl I met when I first started dating Gray. How she’d taken to me so quickly. How the whole family had. How things could end up like this.

And suddenly I see the future laid out in front of me. After tonight it would be hard to keep this relationship going—Josie and I. She’s just seen her mom be an unreasonable bitch for the first time, I can tell she’s been trying to compensate all night but the cracks won’t go away. It’ll always be a sitting duck between us.

We might try to stay in touch, maybe I’d reach out if I was ever in London or if she ever visited the west coast. But this would fizzle out.

She was still young and naive enough that her mom hung the moon and stars; mom’s beliefs were gospel, her opinions were rulings, and she’d just delivered my ultimate sentence: I was a black sheep to the family. How could sweet Josie walk through a mess like that?

“I’m so proud of you,” I tell her as I fight tears. “Congratulations again and thank you for inviting me.”

“Thanks. And you don’t have to be so nice. I know it was kind of a shitty invite.”

“No,” I insist. “I loved being here. I don’t regret showing up for you. I can’t wait to hear what you get up to.”

“I’m going to make sure to make it to the city next week,” she squeezes my arm. “We’ll see each other soon.”

“Exactly,” I look over at the rest of the group, where her boyfriend waits for her. Her family. “And I really like Jax, so good on you for that.”

“He…” she twists her lips, swallowing what she was going to say before vomiting it out. “I always aspired to have a relationship like yours and Gray’s. I never wanted to settle for anything less so that’s…that’s why Jax.”

“Hm I think you made us the bar and you leapt over it babe,” I wrap my arms around her again. I ache with the loss of what we used to be.

“See you soon,” she says before she drags herself back to the group.

I stand off to the side, awkwardly ordering an Uber. The group begins to walk the opposite way waving bye to me. I breathe easier without the weight of them around.

As I tap my foot in anticipation of the ride to the station arriving, I feel a hand tap my shoulder.

“Y/n,” it’s Gray. “Hey I…I just wanted to say something before you left.”

“Oh. Hey yeah. Shoot.”

What was it with everyone wanting to say something to me.

“Uh…ok give me a minute,” he laughs in the way I know to mean he was feeling nervous. “I just sort of jogged back impulsively.”

“Yeah well you have,” I glance at my phone. “4 or so minutes.”

“Damn,” he ruffles his hair. “Alright. I think I just wanna say sorry.”

“Oh.” That was it. Everyone had something to say to me and the something was apparently sorry.

“Yeah I’m sorry. I…when we broke up I was so upset and caught up in my own head. I blamed you for everything. I think it only hit me when you just up and moved out of the country how things actually went down.”

I hadn’t told anyone but Josie that I was leaving.

“Yeah you were just like gone.” He continues. “I guess a part of me thought we’d get some space, maybe circle back later…”

“You really betrayed me,” I remind him.

But even I know what he means. He hurt me bad and it might be crazy stupid but on some level we were both aware we were in an ugly place and maybe with some space we might come back to the place that was good for us again. Maybe bump into each other one day, strike up a conversation, find there might still be a small amount of love left. Enough to water and grow again.

“I know,” he sighs. “I know. I hate that I hurt you like that. I regret…I actually don’t really hang out with that group of friends as much anymore. I sorta have myself to blame but I didn’t like who I was with them.”

I listen, letting him speak. It hurt too, knowing this was the Grayson I had fallen in love with. Kind and supportive, and now apparently he’s learned to communicate. Maybe that was a Lily thing.

“I guess,” he blows the air out of his cheeks. “I want to say I’m really truly sorry. I missed you a lot after you left. Nothing was the same and life was fucking hard. I wish things didn’t end the way they did and I stayed mature but I was just jealous and angry.”

I nod to acknowledge what he’s saying and watch him take a breath to continue.

“And I always appreciated how you never let us shake your relationship with my sister because she bloody loves you—I don’t think how mum treated you was right today but I never really understood her in the first place. I’m sorry about that.”

“Yeah,” is all I can manage without making it obvious how emotional this was all making me. How one year could make me feel like a completely different person. How this man I loved, and still love in some way, could stand in front of me talking about us as something in the past. Because we were. Long past.

My phone dings with a notification that my ride would be here. We glance down and out into the street.

“Anyway,” he swallows. “I just wanna apologize. And say I genuinely hope you find love y/n. Love that’s as fierce and loyal as you are. I hope you can forgive me one day. And I hope you’re successful as hell in whatever you pour yourself into.”

“Thank you Gray,” I want to say I was sorry too. For what it was worth. But my car pulls to the curb.

I wave at the driver to let them know I’d ordered it and we walk the few feet to the back door.

I face Gray and open my mouth to say it. Say something more: how I appreciated his words, how I was sorry for how things ended too, how I hope he is happy. But nothing comes out of my mouth. I just stare at him, my eyes welling with tears instead.

Gray holds out his hand and I look down at it. I knew those hands well and it’s like walking into a place you used to frequent in the past and have memories rush towards you as you remember: those hands held me and wrapped around my own and comforted me, they made me food and stroked my hair, and carried my bags when they got too heavy. They once wore an engagement band I gifted, they once held a small box with a life-changing question I had said yes to.

Now it was just a hand.

I clasp it and he squeezes.

“I know,” he says, his eyes trained on my watery ones. He squeezes again and lets go.

I rush into the car, those two words nearly cracking me in half. I wave goodbye through the tinted window and feel a wave of despair that pulls me down into the depths of darkness.

Too much was happening at once.

My emotions spiral out of me and I feel alone in this foreign country; I needed comfort where none could be found.

I don’t mean to. Or maybe I do. But on the train back to London I text Harry: is it too early to cash in on the drink?

His response is immediate: no, I was waiting for this text last night

I smile, despite myself.

Can I come over? I text with shaking hands.

H: For drinks?

Y: For drinks

H: Ofc.

***

The taxi drops me in front of the familiar building. I feel an echo of anxiety pierce through me as I go through the familiar doors. I nod at the concierge, the night replacement was new and I’m grateful nobody can recognize me making this potentially stupid decision.

For a brief second I wonder if Harry had other plans tonight but decide not to overthink it. He’d invited me openly. And maybe I was making a decision based on sadness and loneliness and grief and needing to be wanted but I make it. And I would make it like a grown woman—ready to accept the consequences.

I didn’t want to go back to my lonely hotel room. I didn’t want to call anyone and talk about what just happened. I didn’t have words. My body was taking the beating, feeling everything under the sun and now bruised and battered for it. I just wanted my body to forget that. And there was only one person in this godforsaken city that could help.

I’m let up to the penthouse and I forgot it had a distinct smell, wood-like and something indescribable. Weird that it felt comforting.

“You made it,” Harry comes into view in a simple pair of shorts and a long-sleeved white tee pushed up to his elbows. It’s the sleeves that really do it.

“I did.”

I leave my bags beside the elevator next to the umbrella stand, keeping my eyes on him. He doesn’t take his off mine either. I’m glad he doesn’t. Now I know he knows we both said drinks but meant something more.

He reaches out for me before I even get to him, and I know I would think about that later. A lot. But right then in the middle of his entryway I wrap my arms around his neck and lean up on my toes to reach him too.

His lips are soft against mine and he tucks me into him, his hand splayed out on my lower back. It feels like a return to a lover, someone who knows you, like I would’ve thought seeing Gray again would feel. But it’s just Harry, and the thought of baseless familiarity freaks me out a little.

The next time I feel his lips they’re on my jaw and neck and down to the base of my throat. He murmurs my name as he makes his way down and my body reacts immediately. He takes me by the waist and backs me up against the nearest wall, and I have a feeling I might fall.

I had made the conscious decision to walk into the devil’s lair because it was the only place I could get what I needed.

My fingers dig into his shoulders. My body wants this. Every part of me wants to pull him close and hold him and never let go. I wanted all of it tonight.

But I am so tired.

I put a hand on his chest and press gently. I can feel the warmth of his skin, the firmness of his muscles and the beat of his heart as he pauses.

“Sorry, I should have started with a hello. That was too fast was it?” He whispers, looking me straight in the eyes.

I have a million answers, but nothing comes. He puts his hand over mine and I feel it as a shiver runs up my spine.

"Is this too fast?" he asks again, and I hear the worry in his voice.

I shake my head.

He gives a breathy laugh, "Then tell me."

"I think I-“

“Don’t,” he covers my mouth with a laugh. “Please please. Don’t think.”

I smile under his palm and he drops his hand, I can tell he’s proud of lightening the moment by the sheen in his eyes. The moment is tender in a way that takes me back.

He brushes back my hair and kisses my forehead. I close my eyes, breathing in his cologne.

“That’s not where I want to be kissed,” I tell him.

“Then where?” He plays along.

“Anywhere but there.”

He kisses my nose. “There?”

“Not there,” I open my eyes to look up at him. “I’ll have you know that was very snotty just an hour ago.”

He groans, “you really have a way of taking the desire out of a situation.”

But his brows furrow and he watches me even closer.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I respond to his unasked question.

With that statement he takes a painful step back and I nearly slide down the wall without his support.

“What?” I ask.

“We should take that drink first.”

I feel the loss of his body pressed against mine, I realize miserably.

“What do you mean? I thought the drinks were just an excuse?” I ask.

He laughs a little, “Maybe tonight, but I really did want to have a drink with you. And talk.”

“Harry,” I groan. “I’m all out of talking tonight. Truly.”

“As much as I want to say forget talking and take you to bed I need to do this…just follow me,” he leads me and my flushed body through to the main living area which I was well familiar with but it’d gotten a facelift. I make commentary on the changes and he tells me more about it as he pulls a wine he wants out for us.

“I changed things around a little after you left,” he says as he hands me the wine glass. “I needed it. The change.”

“Oh.” Is all I can muster. I follow him to the sofa, tonight he doesn’t leave as much space between us but it still feels like a weird parallel to the night I landed in the hospital; a confrontation with Gray leading me to wine with Harry. “Look Harry I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Why not?”

“I…I’m at minimal capacity right now I just-“

“Just let me talk then.”

“Why does everyone want to talk!”

“I need to tell you what I should have said a long time ago and I want to apologize-“

“You already did-“

“Properly.”

I cross my arms and sigh.

“Y/n bloody hell I forgot how quickly you can get under my skin.”

“So this isn’t a great thing then.”

“Y/N,” he says my name like a warning and I want to comply. I roll my eyes and knock back my glass of wine, the buzz from the glass at dinner has long since worn away.

“Part of me wants to top you up but another part remembers what happened last time.” Harry eyes me.

“No I’m okay with just one glass. Drinking when I’m upset doesn’t end well.”

“Yeah…I don’t want you concussed on my watch again.”

“No we don’t want that,” we smile at each other, a soft and sentimental smile that gets the anxious stuttering of my heart to calm down a little. He just wanted to talk, so what?

But the anxious voice runs through the scenarios he might want to—his recent text, or something I did as his PA he wants to take up now. Gah.

“I really have missed having you around,” he says softly.

“Didn’t feel like you would with how you treated me.” I raise my brow.

“I know.” He pauses then mumbles something before talking to me directly. “You must have heard about the PA before you? Maybe from Riley?”

“Kind of.”

“Kind of?”

“Hmmm this feels like a trick question.” I say but he tells me he just wants to know what I knew. So I rip the bandaid off. “You had a fling with her.”

He hangs his head back over the seat of the sofa and sighs. “I knew that piece of…Riley makes me really mad when I think about him sometimes.”

“Does he?” I raise my brow. “I can think of someone else who makes me madder.”

“I know that’s supposed to be me. And I don’t know what to do about that except come clean right now.”

“And why is that?” I ask. “Coming clean? I came here just to get distracted in bed with you. I never thought I’d live to see the day where a guy like you wants to talk instead.”

“Y/N,” he says with such an intense look my way my stomach flips. “Trust me. I want to have you in my bed more than you do. But I told myself if that day ever somehow happened it would be after this.”

I shrug, let him continue. In reality his words make me weak and I can’t speak. Which kind of annoys me—why did he have such a strong pull over me? How did he so easily admit he’s thought about me, about having me in his bed!?

My heart flutters amongst other things.

I remember a brief conversation I had with my mom last year when she asked me why I wasn’t putting myself out there and dating again and I told her I just didn’t have the heart for it. She had said it seems I left my heart in London—my passion and my heart. Sitting here with Harry stirs something inside of me, scares me, and I want to distract that with more wine. But I manage to control myself.

“I was fairly new to the industry when I hired Riley and it was his second proper job or something so we were both a bit young and we ended up being friendlier than we should have.” Harry starts. “But he was great at his job and never gave me any issues. I stayed naïve that people in this industry would look out for my best interest-“

“That’s really naïve,” I can’t help but comment but he throws me a look and I zip my lips. “Sorry.”

“I was lucky that the first few relationships I built as I got my foot in the door were genuine but I realized too late that it wasn’t a norm. Everyone wanted a piece of me and they all wanted me to be someone else. Some angle. Shit hit the fan pretty quickly. So when I needed more help I decided to create a new role for Riley and hire a PA. She was seasoned and came highly recommended.”

I nod along to his story.

“Long story short, she started out good but she kept trying to get me alone and get me talking. And back then after being friends with my old PA I didn’t have the wisdom of setting boundaries—don’t give me that look.”

“What!” I raise my hands. “I’m just listening.”

“You’re judging me.”

“Just continue,” I encourage. I was judging a little.

“Anyway, where I thought we were just friendly she thought I—I dunno I was falling for her or something. And one night she was working late so she had dinner here. She kept refilling my drink I didn’t realize she wasn’t drinking as much. It’s not much of an excuse but by the time she came onto me I was pissed and it didn’t take much.”

He continues the story like it was nothing but his voice catches a little and he doesn’t look me in the eye. My insides grow colder. I want to reach inside of him and hold the old Harry, the naive one who didn’t know better.

“Please don’t feel bad for me,” he cuts my sympathy short. “I didn’t turn into a great person after that. Especially with how I treated you.”

“That’s right.” I pretend to be unaffected by his story like he wanted me to be. But it’s near impossible.

“So that’s how I decided it was best for me to play the asshole. I couldn’t fire her after that—it would look awful and she could report me and screw me over. But I could make working for me a nightmare and so I did. A few months later she quit.”

He sighs and takes a swig of his wine, “Then you came along and I thought ‘I should play the asshole from the get go.’ I had gotten good by then at compartmentalizing my personality in the industry.”

“Hmph,” I raise a brow. He has the decency to look embarrassed but he continues.

“But the more time we spent together the worse I felt. You were nothing like the previous PA. You were genuine and down-to-earth. Pretty fiery but I wouldn’t find that out until later,” he grins. I roll my eyes. “I tried to ease up a little but things kept happening to push me back into the asshole box.”

“But you were so snappy, and a dick.”

“I know. I didn’t know how to tell you you worked too hard without dropping the asshole act and making you feel even shittier.”

“What do you mean?”

“I had to be the villain in your story-“

“What?” What was he talking about?

“Yeah like, you were working all the time even though there were some times I told you to wrap it up for the day.”

I remembered that, thinking he was kicking me out.

“But you took the job so seriously. I appreciated everything you did but you were dogged at making sure you did the best at any cost.”

“What do you mean? At any cost?” I ask, a cold sensation running down my back.

“For example take that one time a few months in when I asked you to call me because you forgot to order wine. You bloody came all the way back to hand deliver it-“

“Yeah because you said to call you and you were gonna be pissed if I-“

“No, y/n,” he lays a hand between us. “I just wanted you to call to know where you usually ordered from so I could order that for myself. You weren’t in any trouble! But I could only blame myself for playing the hard asshole too well.”

I think about that night, Josie’s birthday party. How I left early and upset Gray. How I didn’t need to but I had been following the Dos and Dont’s list.

Shit, the lists. They were added onto by the last PA who, now I know, was having her life made into hell just so she would quit. Some of those lists were on an extreme I didn’t even have to follow. Fuck. That was on me.

My face must be a painting of regret because Harry apologizes again.

“I’m sorry but I didn’t want you to…I just felt like I had to play the villain so you could do what you had to do. So you could continue hating me and we could establish the clear boundary.”

“Right.” I have a bitter taste in my mouth.

“But I genuinely liked you, I thought you were funny and sensitive-“

“You don’t like my sensitivity.”

“I do. I just hated how angry you were-“

“Because of you.”

“I know. I created a monster, I’m Frankenstein.”

“Damn straight.” I agree and we pause a beat before laughing.

“Anyway,” he continues. “You were funny and sensitive and resilient, passionate and smart, and you cared so deeply. It was rare meeting people like you in this field. I wanted to wrap you in bubble wrap but I think I shattered you instead. I’m sorry for the way I just let my past colour your time here. I feel like you left because of me-“

“It was really a lot of reasons.”

“I know but I was part of that and I felt no good. After you left I was a miserable son of a bitch for a while. I couldn’t even enjoy my holiday because I kept thinking of you. I was miserable so I barely even said goodbye—I didn’t realize you were going to run away so far. But I also didn’t want to say goodbye because I was scared I would convince you to stay by spilling my truth.”

His words sit on my chest and they slowly sink down to my stomach. I don’t know what it meant, what he wanted me to do with this confession. It’s too much.

“Mostly,” he continues, shifting closer to me on the sofa. He lowers his voice, “Mostly I’m sorry about Barcelona.”

I flush at the mention of it. At the heat and passion from that night. His eyes roam my face.

“I’m not that guy. I should have treated you nicer, should have been the one to keep my patience.”

“I didn’t make it easy,” I admit.

“No,” he chuckles. “You really fucking did not.”

We smile.

“But you’re so much more than anger y/n. I could barely sleep that night, I kept regretting giving into the anger and not being slow and soft with you the way you deserve. I regret it all the time.”

His confession pulls the veil off my eyes and I see a sharper image of my past. Of everything. It all comes at once and I can’t sort through it in the moment but I know what I want to do.

I shuffle over until I’m up against Harry, I hold his face in mine and he cups my face in his hand.

“You drove me crazy,” I tell him. “Made my life hell.”

“I know. But you drove me crazy too. Nobody got under my skin like you did.”

“Same.”

His hand snakes down to my thigh and he nudges it over his lap so that I’m straddling his body. I feel vulnerable and scared—not the first time these emotions have coursed through me in this very room. But today I don’t feel powerless.

His lips are soft against my cheek, my jaw, down my neck. Unlike the first time he’s slow and deliberate like someone who’s waited so long to unwrap a cherished gift and can’t stand ripping even the gift wrap. He pushes my hair out of the way and trails his fingertips down the back of my neck.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he whispers in my ear. The more he talked the more nervous he was making me. I turn my head to capture his lips, run my fingers through his hair which is too short to really grasp. I missed his old hair.

We break apart for a breath and I can feel the tension. The desire to have him near clashing with the need to go slow. To savour this. Somehow we both feel it.

“We don’t have to do anything tonight,” Harry promises me, his finger trailing down my arm. “Just having you here is enough.”

Oh god. How did he know just the things to say. This man was way too suave. He really was the devil.

But I needed him. It’s scary to admit but I did. I wanted to be here, I really did. I needed to be in this moment with him. Fulfill some shut-out desire that had grown dusty in the corner of my heart.

“I want to do this.”

With a gentle kiss he gets us up and takes my hand. I feel myself being pulled through the living room and towards the bedroom. The sheets are cool, but not cold and when he crawls in beside me I forget that I had ever been anywhere else.

He’s attentive and deliberate and I’m buzzing with anticipation. I decide to pick up the pace, propping myself up to take off my blouse. I watch his throat bob up and down like he’s never seen me like this before even though he has. It’s endearing.

The way his hands fit in the curve of my waist makes it harder to breathe. He moves his hands up my torso and to the straps of my bra. He pauses, as if asking permission, and when I nod, he kisses me. He unhooks it and slowly slides it off my shoulders, eyes fixed on mine.

The intensity of his gaze is overwhelming.

I pull him close to kiss him again, and he pulls me under him so I can feel the full weight of him against me. This is what I needed. To be physically present and not stuck in the after tremors of the earthquakes of my past. Not that he wasn’t part of my past but this is different. A non-verbal agreement to just be present. I knew his ways with women, it could be a one-night thing and that’s what I needed.

But that’s why the moments of tenderness and adoration nearly take my breath away. I don’t know where to put these things.

He kisses down my shoulder while his hand trails down to my trousers. He hooks his finger into the belt loop and tugs gently, looking up at me for consent.

I nod.

He slowly takes them off, and when his fingers brush against my bare legs, my breath hitches.

It happens again when he presses his lips against my hip bone.

He stops for a moment, and I can almost see the cogs in his brain whirring.

He moves up to press his forehead against mine.

"I don't know how to do this right," he says quietly, and his eyes search mine.

“What do you mean?”

“This is always how I should have treated you,” he whispers. “I want you to know-“

“Harry,” I smooth out the lines on his forehead.

"No," he grabs my hand and kisses it. "I don't want you to feel like I don't care because I do. I don’t want to hurt you. I'm not good at saying these things. But I want you to know how much I value you. That I like you as a person. I respect you. I want you to be okay.”

“I-“ who was this Harry, seriously!? “I get it. I’m okay. I am.”

He smiles at me tentatively and my heart does a somersault.

I grab the back of his neck and pull him down, pressing my lips against his. I could taste the sweetness of the words he had said.

I tug at his shirt and it flies into the darkness of his bedroom. His skin is heated against mine.

It feels like an eternity before he finally reaches the band of my panties, and my heart thumps wildly.

"May I?" he looks up.

"Please," I whisper.

For the first time since I’ve met him he doesn’t make it about himself or what he needs. It’s almost intimidating how intense he is as he looks after me and it’s hard to reconcile this man with the man in my head. We’re of one mind and it’s like he knows everything I’ve been through in the last 24 hours; he just attends to my every need reminding me that I was here, right here, in his arms and in this body.

And it doesn’t go unnoticed.

“Are you staying the night?” He asks later with a final kiss to my shoulder.

“If that’s alright?” I ask. I didn’t want to be alone in a cold hotel room.

“I’d love nothing more.” He says earnestly.

Love. I brush the word away.

He warns me that he was a slug if I stayed and he’s not exaggerating, with his arm draped over me and tucked up against him he’s like a child with a plush. He falls asleep just as quickly.

I should too but can’t. I feel so intensely about this body laying beside me, I want to crawl inside of him, understand him, understand us and how this worked.

Or maybe I wanted to just understand me, and why I felt a piece of myself sliding back into place tonight. I had to be the most fucked up person in this city.

Instead of sleeping I lay awake thinking about everything and I can’t help it. I go over this morning—god it felt like weeks ago. Josie’s graduation. Josie. Gray. Even Michelle.

I feel slightly paralyzed by everything that transpired today—it truly felt like peering through a glass window into a life I used to have. I try to break open the glass, sort it all out.

On one side is me and everything I’ve done this whole year to move on from the crumbs of my life here in London. I don’t know why but I really did think that coming back I would be 100% untouchable by my past. I was an idiot for thinking that because I was bothered that Gray seemed to have a steady girlfriend. Why did I think anything would rekindle between us?

I dig deeper, did I even want that to happen? Or did I just want to prove to myself that I was the one Gray let get away because I was too scared to face the possibility that I was the one who let Gray get away.

But clearly something didn’t work with us, I think bitterly. A few months with his new girl and he found the balls to open up with me and communicate his grievances and his apologies.

Love that’s as fierce and loyal as you are, he had said. Was I too much for Gray? Is that why we were made to burn out? It hurt too that he had damaged all my relationships I made in my life here in London only to cut those same people out of his life immediately after I left. The more I think about it the angrier I feel.

And his mom, I still feel bruised by her acting like she didn’t even know me. It stokes the anger higher. Her own son has called her crazy on multiple occasions, I was always nothing but kind to her. Gray was the one who put the final nail in our coffin yet the woman who called me her daughter and claimed to love me had been cruel. Even in the face of getting along for Josie’s sake she had put her petty feelings in the forefront.

These people made me so angry.

How did I ever think I could rekindle anything with Gray? As much as I was to blame, I realize, Gray couldn’t even be kind in the end. Just because the year apart was good to him didn’t mean he would still be good for me.

I think about the man laying beside me, in a hypothetical situation if things got ugly I instinctively want to say he would be cruel too. But I have to push past the persona he claimed to have put up and think about the glimpses of the man I saw underneath. Something tells me he would be just as fiery in letting me know how he was feeling. But with his recent apologies I’m not as convinced he would go out of his way to hurt me again.

Even in the bar last night, I just assumed he called me Mrs. Duran to be cruel but he hadn’t known. Or when I had assumed at Josie’s birthday party I would be fired for forgetting wine because he was an asshole when really he just acted like one so I wouldn’t feel worse.

How many times had I judged people because of how skewed my own lens was? It’s a sobering reminder.

Josie’s face flashes through my mind and I tear up at knowing we were going to cut each other out. No matter how much we loved each other staying in touch at this rate was no longer sustainable. For her best interest.

I think of my younger brother back home, my older sister, our family of 5. When I went back home there was so much to catch up on and eventually, apologize for. I had missed out on so much of my family’s life because I believed I needed to leave to grow. Well, life sure handed me a lot of lessons but I needed to go back home to plant them and let me grow.

Harry stirs beside me, nuzzling my neck in his sleep. I feel myself go teary eyed for no reason.

I wondered if this was just a one-night thing. If we would see each other again while I was in London. Did I want to see him? My heart sings yes immediately.

Damn.

What was it about him that pushed my emotions to the highest highs and lowest lows. How did he know every button to push and every bruise to kiss. This had to be toxic, we couldn’t just take our great big baggage of a past and see each other casually while I was in London. It couldn’t be that easy.

What if it was, hope whispers. I squirm. Could I forgive Harry for everything he’d done?

“Y’sleeping?” Harry mumbles to my left. Shit.

“Yeah,” I say which invokes a throaty chuckle from him. I check the time, it was nearly 4. Double shit.

“Liar,” he tugs on my hips and I turn to face him. “Talk to me.”

I couldn’t. Half of my thought were about him. And how could I tell him I was thinking about my ex after spending the night with him. So I just shake my head.

“Please?” He brushes my cheek with his thumb. “You need to sleep.”

“I-“ I try to say I can’t but the words get stuck in my throat. The emotions of everything I’d been thinking in the last couple hours threaten to dislodge the words from my throat so I close my mouth. But it doesn’t work.

A sob bursts out of me and before I can reel it all in the floodgates swing open and it carries all the pent-up sorrow and confusion, grief and anguish I had bottled up.

Harry freezes for a moment, probably very confused to wake up and have me reacting this way. But he recovers and pulls me into his warm chest.

“What is going on in that head of yours love,” Harry murmurs. Love. I sob even harder.

He murmurs reassuring words whilst stroking my back and I cry an embarrassing amount in the same bed where just hours ago I was blissed beyond comprehension. Life moves fast.

Finally when I gain enough composure I lean away, covering my face because crying into him was one thing but seeing my ugly cry face was another.

“Here,” I feel his body move and then tissues pressed into my hand. I’m grateful for them but I wasn’t going to blow my nose here. I sit up and try to dry my nose. His hand reaches out and the tips of his fingers rest on my spine like he was tethering my lost body to him. Somehow even that is reassuring.

“Don’t go trying to kiss my nose this early on again,” I try to joke through a stuffy voice.

“I wouldn’t dare,” he tugs my arm a little and I fall back beside him. He holds me in both his arms and I watch in horror and affection as he kisses the tip of my nose.

“Stop being so nice,” I laugh and cry a little too.

“You’re actually complaining about me being nice?”

“No I just—I’m not used to it,” I press the tissue to my eyes again.

“Well get used to it,” he peels the hair off of my face and pushes it back. “I don’t want to be the one hurting you. I swear to never ever be the reason you cry like this to anyone.”

“Don’t say those sorts of things if you don’t mean it.”

“I do,” he caresses my face. “You’re breaking my heart y/n, I don’t know who hurt you but I never want to see you like this. Especially not because of me alright? I’m sorry if I ever-“

“Stop,” I put my hand to his mouth. Which is kind of gross since I just blew my nose but I’m pretty sure him kissing my snotty nose means he didn’t care.

“But-“ he says behind my hand.

“I’m embarrassed right now,” I admit.

“You have seen me in every compromising situation,” Harry says. “And we have been through too much together to be embarrassed right now.”

“Fine,” I sigh. “It is tiring.”

“Maybe you can finally sleep now that it’s…almost 5?”

“Sorry,” I sigh. “I hope you don’t have something early?”

“Nope,” he kisses the top of my head. “And even if I did it wouldn’t matter.”

So we both try to go back to bed and I manage to fall asleep, all of those tiring racing thoughts washed away by a good cry. I feel warm and cared for and vulnerable and protected. A stark change from how Harry has made me feel before. Maybe this was temporary or maybe this was the start of something new. I’m just taking it minute by minute while all I can think is Do I or Don’t I?

***

It’s my final week in London and if you’d asked me a couple weeks ago if I was looking forward to going back home I would have said without hesitation yes.

But that night at Harry’s and putting my past to rest brushes away an old and tired film I had been viewing the city with since I landed.

We had seen each other a couple times a week since—I’ve been cautious despite my body saying otherwise. There were many days I had been free but I had made up some excuse not to see him, I was scared of getting too attached and having to leave.

But I can’t deny how nice it was to be with Harry without any labels. Most of the time I went over to his, it was tricky going out somewhere too public and risking getting papped. Together we just talk about life and work, my life back in America and my relationship with my family, his life growing up and his relationship with stardom. We watch movies and listen to music and make jokes and I open up a little about what had been weighing on my mind that night.

Winnie teases me that I was lighter than she’s ever seen me, that London looked good on me. I tell her she’s crazy. But even Oretta admits it when Winnie brings it up to her.

Harry makes the effort to make up for how he acted until it’s not just words. I believe what he was saying. And I admit to my faults too.

We still get under each other’s skin.

The thing we argue about the most is an opportunity Harry tries to get me to sign off on. The link he texted me when I was in Cambridge was an upcoming single one of his friends was releasing and he wanted to get me to bid on executing a music video for it. I tell him he was nuts and that I had no experience, plus I had a job. But he persists. He thinks I should explore putting my creative skills to use and not just my organizational skills. The arguing continues.

I have a date with him tonight, at the same bar we bumped into each other that first night. I have a question I’d been meaning to ask him.

“You aren’t actually a regular here are you?” I ask when we’ve settled.

“Of course I am,” he says but I know he’s lying. I raise my brow and he looks everywhere but at me. “Fine. I’m not.”

“So how the hell did you end up here that night?”

“Coincidence.”

“Liar.”

“I’m an honest man.”

“Truth please?”

“You’re embarrassing me here let’s move on.”

“Nuh-uh,” I’m enjoying his bright cheeks and darting eyes. “Did you stalk me or something?”

“I…I knew this was a local spot for you. Or was.”

“Really? How?”

“You mentioned it a few times? And I dropped you off here once after work.”

He might’ve. I’d met many friends and especially Gray here. I motion for him to continue.

“I might’ve known you were in town, might’ve found out you were here and…”

“So you did stalk me,” I gasp. “Oh my god ladies and gents he is obsessed.”

“That’s a strong word.” He argues.

“You. Stalked. Me.”

“Oh fine, I’ll confess: I’m used to the stalkers and I thought it was high time I did some stalking and see what the fun was all about,” he joins in on making fun of himself.

“Someone get me a restraining order,” I say just as someone approaches our table with drinks. As soon as they leave we burst out laughing.

“So have you given the music video any more thought?” Harry asks as the evening continues.

“Can we not talk about this right now?” I ask.

“I just think you should give it serious thought. I know you want to go into PR, be somebody’s Graham, but you have a really good eye for this thing. Before you pursue what you think you want, try this out.”

“You’re one dude,” I say again. “Who believes I can do this. You want me to throw away the career I’ve worked on for years to dabble in this and potentially waste time instead of getting to where I want?”

“Firstly, if you love doing something it’s not time wasted. And secondly you only ever need just one person to believe in you, angel.”

His fingers brush mine on the table, the familiar electricity courses through me just through the small touch. And of course, his use of pet names always turned me to putty. I hated how malleable he made me.

“Consider it. Just write a proposal y/n, it’s not betraying Oretta or anything. I can talk to her if you want if they choose your idea.”

It was scary putting myself out there for something I didn’t believe in myself for. But my echoes of burnout grow towards the idea of doing something less demanding than being an assistant just like a sunflower to the sun. It basks in letting my creativity flow.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Not for too long,” he taps my fingers again. We were cautious about being too touchy in public, even in a place like this where people genuinely didn’t care who he was. “Proposal’s due at the end of next week.”

When I would be back home in America. Away from here. Him.

We hadn’t talked about it, if we would try to keep in touch. I can’t really imagine a long-distance thing with Harry. Not at this stage. Mostly we enjoyed being in each other’s company and I was scared forcing labels just because we would be apart would ruin this fragile thing.

“Fine.” He’d worn me down and I submit. “Fine I’ll get something in for you.”

He pulls back with a shocked expression. “Did I just convince the stubborn y/n y/l/n to do something she didn’t want to do?”

I scowl. “Don’t get used to it.”

“I won’t,” he laughs, waving his hands around him like he was fanning in an aroma. “I’m soaking this in though.”

“Whatever,” I say with a smile.

“You make me work hard,” he smiles back. “For everything y/n. That’s one of the things I l-I-that I really like about you.”

We ignore the near slip of something far too serious for what we had going. We move past it but it sets my heart racing.

“So this friend of yours,” I change the subject. “With the music video. Didn’t you guys have like, beef when you were on tour? All that article stuff?”

“You of all people should know not to believe what you see online. It was all manipulated and put out of context.”

“I know but you were all moody for all your shows afterwards. I remember Jeff and Graham complaining. I assumed the articles had worn you down a bit.”

He raises a brow like he’s waiting on me to figure something out.

“What?”

“Really? You think it was the artcles?”

“Well what else happened that-“

Oh god. Was I that stupid?

Of course it wasn’t the articles, it was me! Us.

A smile stretches over the contours of his face as realization dawns on mine, “Twice in a row I’ve got you today, I should buy a lottery ticket.”

“I’m off my game today is all, don’t get used to it.”

I can’t believe it. Not that I didn’t believe Harry after the last few weeks but I—that night—really meant that much to him that his feelings over it had affected the rest of his tour? I had affected his tour?

“Why didn’t you say anything if it was weighing on you so much? If I recall I tried to talk to you a couple times.” I ask.

“What could I say,” he snorts. “You were engaged and my loss of control was why you cheated. Then you were quitting and I knew if I said anything you might have stayed. I didn’t want to keep you where you didn’t want to be.”

His words tug at my heart. He really had thought up a storm.

“Harry,” I lean back. “Gray and I broke up before I joined you guys on tour again. We weren’t cheating.”

His forehead creases, “What?! But you were together at my London show. I thought you two broke up after you moved back home?”

“No,” I guess in the last few weeks I’d just mentioned we broke up a long time ago. He didn’t know any specifics. “We were fake-together because he hadn’t broken the news to his sister then. But that’s why I was all…y’know in Barcelona-“

“Fuck me,” he groans. “No wonder you thought I was an ass for pulling you away-“

“Well you were-“

“Yeah alright-“

“Why did you really pull me away though?”

“I…I was feeling a bit possessive.”

“What?”

I wasn’t expecting that to come out of his mouth. He smiles sheepishly, “I thought we already came to terms with that.”

My stomach does a few somersaults. Until tonight I don’t think I’ve really focused on the magnitude of how Harry felt back then. Parts of my mind were still remembering him as a prick just because it was easier to remember my side of things. But this spins things in a brighter light.

“I was just your assistant though.”

“Y/N,” he tilts his head to the side. “Did I not already tell you what I thought about you that night in my flat?”

“Yeah but-“

“I’d never met anyone like you, I really liked you. I couldn’t have you though and I had to push you away constantly. And that drove me a bit crazy sometimes.”

I let out a noisy breath, wondering if how he felt about me was just as intense now as it was then. A part of me knows it must be. Feelings like that didn’t fade. But here I was, barely knowing what it was I felt for him. All I knew was that it was nice when we were together.

Why me, I want to ask. But I hold back. It wasn’t a question I could ask my ex-employer current-lover part-time-asshole.

“Sorry,” he apologizes. “Was that a bit strong?”

“No,” I sigh again and he laughs. “Fine. A little. But it’s fine, I’m okay.”

“Okay,” he believes me. “So you broke off your engagement and didn’t tell anyone?”

“Kinda, we weren’t in a place we could come back from. We decided that mutually after things blew up. He didn’t even know I was leaving the country actually.”

Harry whistles. “You ran out on all of us.”

I scratch the side of my head, “Maybe?”

“Well I’ve enjoyed having you again, here.” He says with sincerity. “I’m really relieved to be able to get to say everything I wanted to your face.”

I agree. Neither of us mention I was leaving later in the week.

Even by the night before I’m leaving London we still hadn’t discussed a thing. But there’s a heaviness to us as we have dinner at his, as we pretend to watch a movie only to cuddle on the couch. We lay there facing each other and I trace his eyes, his nose, his wonderful mouth. It’s so odd to me that this was the same Harry Styles performing in sold out venues and on the walls of teenage bedrooms. That I got to have him in these quiet moments and be present.

I feel so grateful for this. That I didn’t have to carry around these draining stories within me anymore, that it felt like it happened to someone else. In a way even if nothing came from all this, I got closure. I was able to move on now.

I imagine my heart and it feels like when you take a stroll mid-March and realize nature was healing from winter’s blues. Warm and blooming the earth was growing again—my heart was growing stronger. Now the idea of a date or a partner didn’t seem so daunting and exhausting. I would never have guessed that it would take the man who almost broke me to come into my life again for me to see how to fit those pieces back in place again.

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do not having you in town anymore,” his lashes flutter as I run my hand through his hair. It was still shorter than I was used to but it had grown in the last three weeks.

“Oh you’ll be fine,” I say. “I’ve worked on your schedule before: meetings and studio sessions and photoshoots and interviews.”

“A busy life isn’t always a full one,” he whispers. And it’s the closest thing to a confession we were going to get to. I cover his mouth with mine and we indulge in each other one final time.

There is a symphony of unexpected but undeniable intimacy woven between the beats of our entwined hearts. I know I would probably never feel this way with anyone and I don’t think I’d want to. Being with Harry was passion. It was losing myself and finding myself at the same time. It was being vulnerable and guarded and cherished and known.

My flight out tomorrow is around noon but I can’t stay the night as I’d have to help Oretta in the morning to make sure everything gets to the airport in time. Harry walks me down to his lobby and we stand there for a few, just holding each other tight. He doesn’t ask me to stay and I don’t ask him to come.

“This isn’t goodbye y/n,” Harry says when we part. His hand rests on his heart. I know the feeling, mine aches so hard I want to press my hand to it just to tell it everything would be fine.

“No,” I shake my head. My eyes had been teary ever since he squeezed me to him. “We’ll talk soon.”

“You’ll be directing music videos soon.”

I roll my eyes, “I’m still working on the proposal.”

“I have a good feeling about it.”

“That makes one of us. But…thanks for believing in me.”

“Thanks for believing in me,” he whispers. “Even when you didn’t have to.”

I’m glad I did. The only time in my life not paying attention to the warning bells had paid off.

“I’ve been working with this new producer and he wants me to come out to a studio in Cotati?” Harry mentions. “How far is that from where you are? Are you still in m Burbank?”

“Burbank’s where my parents are,” I shake my head. I look up what he’s talking about and feel a thrill when it’s less than a couple hours. Still, I try to maintain neutrality. “A little over an hour?”

“Well,” he brushes my hair over my shoulder and keeps his eyes looking just over it. “Depending on what you’re doing—maybe if you’re free…we can see each other again?”

I would love that. My heart is bursting just thinking of getting to have him in the place I called home. Of this meaning something. Of him wanting to see me again.

“Of course if you have a boyfriend by then and he doesn’t want you to see me that’s…I mean, live your life and if it works out we-“

“Yes,” I cut him off. “Yeah. Let’s see but that sounds good.”

He meets my gaze and I laugh a little, he was nervous and that was rare.

“Good,” he smiles with. “Until next time.”

“Until next time,” I step into his arms and it’s a quick affair before he steps away. I turn to head out the door, shielding my eyes from him. Not wanting him to see that this was stupidly hard to say goodbye.

He waves me off and I head back to my hotel with a heavy heart. But I think about him asking to see me again. Who knows when that would be. And I know this wasn’t the end of our story.

***

I’m happy to land in SFO the following evening, happy to busy myself with Oretta’s business, happy to have Winnie chattering away. I spent parts of the flight I wasn’t sleeping working on my MV proposal and it awakens a familiar passion inside of me I’d been afraid I’d lost.

I send out a silent thanks to Harry for knowing what was good for me.

I think of Harry often, Gray even less until I don’t think of him at all. I dream of London weekly; I missed it this time around. And as life resumes again I anticipate the change I sense on the horizon.

So when life gives me lemons I stop asking Do I or Don’t I. If one thing the last year has taught me was I had to listen to my gut and look at the signs. I had to start asking what I wanted and go after it. Even though Harry and I barely talk, I remember the lessons he’s taught me.

I stop looking to others to make decisions. There’s no guidebook or lists to help me make my decisions either. I take deep breaths and I believe in myself.

I build a new life on the remains of my old. I don’t let it dictate what I did anymore, I simply leave it as the foundation to elevate me even higher. I reach for the sky with my feet planted firmly on the ground. And I grow with reckless abandon.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

TAGLIST: @boomitsallie1 @indierockgirrl @ndunad @jerseygirlinca @sunshinemoonsposts @ninasw0rld @love-letters-to-uranus @mayamonroem @sassamanda77 @harryspirate

🤍

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shadowdaddies · 5 months

Note

Hello!! Could you do a fluffy Rhys x reader fic where reader has a bad habit of over working themself? Like they have a fear of letting people down if they don’t get it done or a fear of failure? Maybe a dash of praise in there🫡🫡

I have the worst habit of overworking myself simply because I am the youngest and always held up to expectations of my older siblings. It has also developed the need for perfection in my work.

sometimes I swear you guys can read my mind. I'm also a youngest child and my anxiety has been exhausting me lately so this was nice to write 💜

Just Rest

Rhys x Reader fluff

warnings: a lil suggestive hehe

You hung your aching head in your hands, hoping you could somehow will the exhaustion from your body as the book in front of you faded in and out of focus. You’d been at this for - what time was it? Rubbing your eyes, you glanced up at the clock on the wall to see it was past ten at night. You had been in here for almost fourteen hours with minimal breaks, but you couldn’t bring yourself to stop.

You had to find the answer in one of these texts - otherwise, you were a failure to your Court. With a sigh, you tied your hair up in a bun - thanking the house when it blessed you with another cup of tea, savoring how the warm cup soothed your cold, aching hands.

You set down the cup, blinking your eyes to regain focus as you aimed to find where you’d left off in the book. The sound of soft footfalls interrupted your focus, a familiar voice sounding from behind you as your mate purred, “what are you still doing in here, darling?” You turned your head just in time for Rhys to place a kiss to your cheek, wrapping his arms around you as he peered over your shoulder at the cluttered desk.

You sighed, holding his hands that were crossed over your chest. “I’ve been looking for any lead on how Koschei’s forces made it through our wards, but I haven’t found anything in all of these books.” You gestured to the stacks surrounding you - the overflow of information that you had been forcing yourself to absorb over the countless hours.

Rhys sighed, holding you tighter as he pressed a kiss to your neck. “I think that a break would do you some good, darling.” You twisted around in your seat, giving him an incredulous look. “Rhys, I can’t stop! If I don’t find some answers... I need to contribute.”

Quirking an eyebrow at you, Rhys circled around to sit on the edge of the desk. With one long finger, he tilted your chin to look at him - power emanating from those violet eyes as he spoke. “You ‘contribute’ more than enough. You make this Court and my life a better place, and right now the best thing you can do for us is to let me take care of my beautiful mate.”

You nearly melted at his words, the praise you didn’t realize you had been needing. Tilting your head to rest your cheek in his hand, you sighed and nodded up at him. “Good girl,” Rhys cooed, running his thumb across your lower lip as he smirked down at you. Heat pooled in your core at his praise, and you found yourself entranced by your mate.

Quickly standing up from the desk, Rhys kicked out your chair, startling you as he reached down and picked you up bridal style. You giggled, relaxing into Rhys’s strong arms as he carried you over to the sitting area by the fire. He laid you down on the sofa, lifting up your legs as he sat at your feet facing opposite you.

“Lean back, darling,” he spoke softly as he watched to make sure you nestled into the pillows behind you. Rhys took your foot in his hands, and began gentling massaging the sore appendage. Despite how good it felt, you attempted to protest. “Rhys, I’ve been walking around here all day, my feet are filthy!” With a feline smirk, Rhys lifted your leg, pressing a kiss to your ankle - his eyes never leaving yours. “Oh darling, I plan to do much filthier things to you later,” he purred, sending you a mental image of exactly what he meant.

Struggling to keep your breathing steady, you slowly leaned back against the pillows and tried to relax. Rhys continued massaging your feet, and the last thing you remembered before falling asleep was his whispered praises as he moved to massage your legs.

You woke up to a shift in the bed, finding that Rhys had brought you upstairs while you were sleeping. “Shh, it’s just me, darling. Go back to sleep,” he murmured as he slipped under the covers. You shifted over, snuggling into Rhys’s side as you threw a leg over his waist, promptly falling back to sleep for a good night’s rest.

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save-the-villainous-cat · 5 months

Note

Could you write a spicy thing with a villain and hero who’ve been fighting for a long time and basically see each other as friends or friendly rivals at this point, and the villain starts trying to flirt, expecting the hero to just brush them off, but the hero flirts back— like, really well— and it’s agonizingly (sexually) tense for a moment and then the hero just snatches the moment away with a joke and a wink, leaving the villain dumbstruck?

Very specific I know— it is absolutely okay if you don’t want to do it, no pressure!! I love your writing style <3

"Oh my god," the hero gasped. Their lungs burnt from the fight and they needed to put their hands on their knees as they took in greedy gulps of air. Sometimes, they asked themselves why they had chosen a job which forced them to do physical activities. What an actual nightmare. "That was..."

"Unexpected, yeah." The villain next to them looked down at the bodies and they seemed fairly unimpressed. They were completely calm, not even breathing heavily. They had been efficient and the hero would've found it unfair if the villain wasn't so nice about it.

"Unexpected? I thought we were gonna die." Slowly, their body calmed down. Their racing heart found a rhythm even the hero could agreed with. Their gaze turned to their nemesis whose eyes were basically glued to the hero. At times, the villain looked at them like they were the centre of the world but the hero figured, they did that to everyone every once in a while, just to freak people out.

"I thought no one was supposed to be here," the hero said. The mission, in its entirety, was rather simple: break into the facility to steal documents and get out alive. The team-up was spontaneous. Months ago, the hero would have been suspicious but now, the villain was rather an annoying friend they disagreed a lots with than someone they wanted to decapitate.

"That was the plan." The villain tilted their head and closed their eyes, as if they were trying to gather their thoughts.

"We need to be more careful," the hero said. "Security seems to be more intense than we thought."

"Nothing we can't handle." The villain shrugged. "You're bleeding."

"Wha—?" The hero followed the villain's gaze and, indeed, there was a huge cut in their biceps. The hero hadn't noticed it, hadn't even felt any pain. Now that the adrenaline had worn off, they could see this being a problem.

"Sit down."

"I'm okay," the hero answered.

"You're not okay and I won't catch you if you fall over. Sit down." The hero rolled their eyes and (reluctantly) sat down. Immediately, the villain was on their knees and held the hero's arm, observing the injury. Luckily, they had thought of bandages which was something the hero never did. They wondered if they should start carrying those around with them.

"You're being dramatic." The villain's hands worked fast as they bandaged the hero's wound. It hurt more than the hero wanted to admit. Whenever the villain was a little too harsh, they swallowed a groan. "It's just my arm."

"Yeah and in an hour it's just your pretty face." The hero stared at them. Admittedly, their face felt quite hot. Suddenly, they were all too well aware of the proximity between them. The villain's fingertips were warm and they were gentle, despite the raging pain the hero endured. The villain was kind and funny. They cared enough to make the hero greedy for more.

Someone they could give everything, the good and the bad. The hero wished they could be that person for the villain and vice versa.

Was it a sarcastic comment, though? Or did the villain mean it? Did they really think the hero was pretty? And not this broken thing that needed help? God, the hero sometimes really felt like they weren't anything more than a burden. Even back then, the villain had done most of the work.

"I don't have a problem with that," the hero answered quickly. "If it means that you'll be on your knees for me again."

The villain stopped and looked up. Their eyes found the hero's before they dropped down to the hero's lips. Shy. The hero had managed to make the villain shy. Even though the villain had always tried to portray someone heartless and cold, they were blushing now and the hero's heart was beating so loud, they feared the villain could hear it too.

Sometimes, they wished they weren't enemies. Sometimes, the hero hoped they could trust the villain forever. But they knew that was a dream and they were scared of the day when it turned out that the villain would betray them.

"I-" The hero watched them swallow.

God, they wanted to kiss them so bad.

"We should go," the hero said. They forced a smirk and winked. "I doubt the documents will fly away but you never know."

"Oh...yeah..." The villain watched as the hero stood up and for the rest of the day, they seemed rather distracted.

#yeah I knoOoOw that I let you down but is it too late to say sorry now #dunno if this is good flirting #writing snippet #heroxvillain snippet #heroxvillain prompt #heroes and villains #hero x villain #heroxvillain #hero #villain #request #an answer for an ask

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candiid-caniine · 6 months

Note

Hey! Long time no see, i know i said id send you a fantasy i thought you'd like but now ive forgotten almost all of it, oop!

Life happened, and uh, i saw that you mentioned your libido being a bit low, which definitely is my case too (im recovering from depression, now that im okay id love to get my FULL libido back, or at least a good percentage of it) do you have any tips on that?

Also any recs of blogs writing in the same vibe as you? (same-ish kinks would be nice but im specifically looking for queer inclusive stuff!) it makes me 10x hornier than the regular video/photo porn!

Hope you're well, you pathetic little thing!

💫

hi friend!! ugh i feel you. sorry i haven't got any advice on regaining ur libido...we just let mine wax and wane as it will, though denial has been a big help in keeping it steady!

i've heard good things abt ginseng and some other herbs. obvs use at your own risk, mind that some herbal treatments can cross-interact with certain medications, remember that pre-packaged supplement pills are often unregulated and may contain toxins, and be aware that some herbal remedies work better on pw certain anatomy than others, and finally that many herbal remedies considered to increase libido are largely untested on trans folx!

finally, sorry it's taken so long to answer this ask...i'm autistic and have been cataloguing lol. i present to you a list of other blog recs under the cut, organized by general vibe! i've tried to primarily include blogs that do their own posts rather than those who primarily reblog :)

note that my headings may provide some context as to what to expect, but you read at your own risk and each blog will typically have its own trigger warnings addressed in the header/pinned. additionally, i've not tagged some of the ppl below because they prefer that "Men DNI" blogs not interact, and idk if "no cis men" qualifies ahah!

all blogs below are queer- and/or trans-inclusive, if not exclusive! there is no detrans/misgendering, at least I don't think - i don't tend to follow those blogs.

hard kinks (blood, knives, etc; includes primarily-cnc blogs):

@puppy-mommy , who also does general t4t kink content, but does state untagged hard kinks!

@visciousest is someone whose blog i scroll when i'm in a Certain Mood ahah,, i won't elaborate

@hell-hound-bites: just. fuck. would drool on his knife blade.

@snuff-fag: its username should give you fair warning as to how wild its content tends to get, so please browse responsibly.

@condor-bait is taking a break right now, and all my love is with him as he takes care of himself. he made me feel so valid and so fuckable as a young trans person learning to love myself in a new way, and i've always been too shy to tell him how much his content meant to me one-on-one (yes, despite its often-extreme themes!), and he deserves as much time as he needs to heal!

@unwillingfvckpuppy for mostly cnc and medical kinks! if you like his style, but not so much their harder content, he also has a more-tame main blog--i just mainly follow/scroll this one!

@vampvictim: top-tier cnc/intox stuff, plus some great knife/bloodplay :)

@cryptidtid is wonderful and holy shit i follow a lot of hard kink blogs lol. incredible

@cnc-pet: i have been following her for a long ass fucking time lol. they post a lot of really good cnc and stories, but you'll also find a lot of aftercare tips and advice on her blog! i really admire blogs who try to balance horny content with best practices

@dollobotomy

general kinky content:

@excessively-queer . just plain old good shit :) there's a good amt of edging and degradation.

@clouded-king was honestly one of my earlier introductions to the queer/t4t kink community on here and how fucking euphoric it can be :) he posts some hard kinks, but generally it's a balance of a lot of different kinks so read his pinned at your leisure!

@ / cottontailx : just good kinky nsft posts :)

@ / digitalpenetration: often specifically t4t which i love!!

@femmelovefemme can step on me :)

@bigothteddies: could not build this section w/o mentioning him :) they had a big influence on my fantasies for a long time!

@hazelj-xoxo: bigtime want her to cuck me. have followed her across multiple blog deletions lol

@transpidered is forever an icon!

@subspaceemo

@writefinch for great stories and text posts

edging and denial, specifically:

@6irlpet is 1 of my go-to hands-down-pants scroll sessions :)

@droolkink is my inspiration!

@flustersluts does exactly what the name implies lol. a good helping of other kink content too :)

@puppycvnt is a 10/10!

@barkwoofbarkwoofbark: we r denial friends imo!!

@strawbrrysub

@blyssful-abyss

@urhighnessbitch is a big fav <3

non-detrans genderplay:

@butchviolence does amazing butch supremacy stuff and i,,, fucking hell. even just seeing their username puts me in a Particular state of mind ahah. they also post hard kinks so be aware as you proceed!

@mtfdomme: i literally just reblogged from her today lol. tbh i want to be their little stupid pupthing. it's not all transfem supremacy undertones/overtones, but that's what i mainly follow her for, plus just general t4t goodness! also, their general personality? and the way she shuts down people who disrespect their boundaries? huge inspiration for me!

@cuntboydestroyer: take me to the animal shelter and neuter me. good lord.

@the-kind-of-dame is the main inspiration for my recent genderplay post lol

@terfbreaking-tgirl (be warned of dykebreaking if that's an issue for you)

@barbarian-lesbian is my other inspiration for the recent genderplay post

@superiorineveryway

weird asf (/complimentary; my favorite type of shit. robots, ND-focused posts, etc):

@specksizedgoddess has introduced me to things i didn't know, like...existed, and that's saying a lot as one of my special interests is kink! never knew how down bad i was to be a tiny buggirl, nor how much i wanted to be someone's stupid little robot... BIG tw tho: there is snuff and gore content here, so proceed with caution if you don't wanna see that!

@sapphling fucked me up real good with some bird!sub bondage posts awhile back lol

@nobelisha: found them through their ghost cnc post so that's why they're in this category ahah! they don't have a pinned so proceed w awareness :)

@devout-cleric: hierophilia/religion kink, and i'm something of an acolyte of hers :) if you've read this far down you may as well know i'm her Little Lamb anon lol

piss/omo:

@latenightomo

@pissheartmybeloved - their URL makes me crack up every time, plus good content!

@hold-it-a-little-longer - good scenarios/imagines!

@ohmyrashi - (i think) my original intro to omo!

monsterfucking/terato:

@septimus-moonlight was my first real introduction to trans-positive terato and i've never settled for half-fun cis-oriented terato ever since :) mind tags!

@eggedbellies as well!

@bredpun doesn't appear to be active lately but still good for a scroll!

@steamandcream

@of-mutts-and-men

#t4t nsft #asks #gen #denial #h/d #advice #💫 anon

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luveline · 2 years

Note

hi could you write something with Eddie Munson x reader who has acne and is insecure about it? thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️

tysm for your request! tw body insecurity ♡ fem!reader | 1.5k words

Slurpees. The ultimate treasure of summer. Well, besides Eddie, your reluctant yet doting chauffeur.

"Do we need to get slurpees every single day?" he asks, shoulder against the door. You skirt around him with a grateful smile, straw between your lips.

"'We' don't need to to do anything," you say after a refreshing sip.

"And let you drink alone?" he jokes.

"My hero," you murmur around your straw. You refuse to get back in his van straight away, worried that the heat will bake you into a crisp.

You set yourself down on the sidewalk, cold under your naked thighs from the shade. Your cup drips condensation down the valley of your chest and you shiver, dipping your chin down to watch it disappear.

"It's a nice dress," Eddie says, sitting heavily beside you. He's dressed in a similar fashion, little clothing – or as little as his sense of style allows. A Metallica t-shirt that's tight to his distracting biceps and black jeans.

You reach your hand out to feel the fabric, find his knee warm beneath your palm.

"How can you wear these? They steal all the sun."

"What would you have me wear?" he asks theatrically, lifting his chin like he's dying to know the answer.

"Shorts."

"Shorts!" He laughs, and then, "No," much more serious. "I don't think so."

You shuffle closer across the sidewalk, the curb a bump under your thighs as you peer into his cup.

"Wanna try it?" he asks.

Eddie has an obsession with mixing flavours. A rainbow seeping into muddy brown glares at you. You take a sip despite its less than persuasive appearance and wince as you pull back.

"Sweet," you say, licking your lips.

"It's mostly cherry," he says.

"I can tell."

Eddie's eyes flit to your cup and you hold it up to his lips. Yours is evidently much nicer. His eyes soften, his lashes dark and long and twitching with pleasure.

"Wanna trade?"

"Drop dead," you say quickly.

Eddie stares at you with wide eyes and you stare back until he breaks, laughing his awfully endearing laugh, a peel of boyish giggles wherein he ducks his face into your bare shoulder. His lips are cold as they brush the beginning of the curve of your neck.

"Good thing I'm a masochist, sweetheart. You're mean."

"I learned it all from you."

He kisses your shoulder and you shiver with happiness, his hair tickling you lightly as he says, "Yeah, you did. Sometimes I wish I hadn't teased you so badly at first. Maybe you'd be sweeter."

You pretend that you don't know he's only kidding. "You don't think I'm sweet?"

His lips part. The tip of his nose glides over your skin as he gives you a short, open-mouthed kiss. "As sugar."

You're glad he can't see your face. You smile like an idiot, stirring your slurpee to give the illusion you're more than a lovesick fool.

He lifts his head. You can feel his gaze on your face and feel suddenly insecure but he doesn't say anything. Not that you were expecting him to be mean, or that he hasn't seen your acne before, but the summer heat makes you sweat and the sweat worsens your skin. You've been flaring up for a week. Angry, sore patches decorate your skin under a thin layer of powder that doesn't do what you want it to do.

You turn your face away from him. You can't withstand the weight of his gaze, not whilst knowing how bad you look.

You take a big sip of slurpee and Eddie follows suit, his hand creeping onto your knee. He squeezes.

"What do you wanna do now you've had your fix?" he asks eventually, his fingers too warm on your leg.

"It's getting pretty late. Maybe I should go home."

He groans and tips his head back. You can't help but look at him, hungry to see the shape of his throat and his Adam's apple. He's always hot when he sulks though you'd never tell him for fear of increasing his ego, or worse the teasing you'd suffer.

"Sleep over," he says.

"I can't," you say.

He drops his head back down, pouting. "Why?"

You stab your slurpee, mixing the ice at the top with the flavour pooling at the bottom. "'Cos I'd have to take off my makeup before we go to bed."

Your admission is met with a small silence and then a very Eddie sigh. Fond, perplexed, slightly exasperated.

"Why's that matter?" he asks.

"You know why."

"I know that I love how you look without make-up," he says. He doesn't miss a beat.

"It's… It's been really bad. My skin."

"Can I tell you something? And don't- don't take this for what it isn't, I think you're beautiful, but I've noticed that it's worse lately."

You feel a little bit like you've been stabbed. Of course he's noticed – it's hard not to, especially when you're always in such close proximity to one another. It still feels awful.

"I'm sorry, I know I'm not supposed to say that," he says quickly, his voice high and strung out.

You sound the same. "No, I get it. It's disgusting. Impossible not to notice."

"Hey," he says, putting his slurpee down between his shoes. "That's not it. It's not disgusting."

"It is."

"It isn't. Nothing about you is disgusting."

You frown at your knees. Eddie's hand chases up your thigh as he turns his body to yours.

"Here, look at me."

You worry you'll burst into tears if you talk so you don't as you turn to him again. He dips his head towards his chest and holds eye contact, eyebrows rising.

"I don't want you to think you have to hide it from me. I see it and it doesn't make you any less pretty."

You swallow around the lump in your throat, hands damp and squeezing uselessly at your drink.

He grasps your thigh and gives you a good shake. "Do you know what I'm saying? You're beautiful, capital B, and if wearing makeup is making it worse you don't have to do it for my sake."

"It's not just for you. It's for everybody. I don't-" you roll your eyes at yourself and sniff, infuriated with how emotional you are. "I can't look at myself when I don't have it on."

"That's a real shame, sweetheart," he says quietly.

"Yeah," you mutter.

You tap your knees together.

"I could do it."

You squint at him. "What?"

"If you're finding it hard to look at yourself, I'll do it. I fucking love looking at you."

"Eddie."

"I'm serious." He picks up his slurpee cup and takes a sip for dramatic effect, straw still in his mouth as he says, "I'll work for free."

"I bet you would."

He slams the cup down on the ground so hard that brown slushy hits the curved lid. "Is that sarcasm? Are you being sarcastic with me?"

"Guilty," you say. You smile, endeared with his melodrama.

He smiles like you've given him everything he's ever wanted and it's awful and you want to rub your wet hand over his cute face to wipe it away. He mistakes your attack for a forthcoming embrace and grins, tucking his head against yours, his arms wrapping around your waist. You can feel the muscle of his bicep flex under your own as you slide it around his neck in reaction, your slurpee haphazardly pushed away.

"You're so pretty," he half-whispers, incredulous. "I don't get how you can't see that."

You tuck your face in his neck. His curls hide you from view. It's a short relief.

"Stay the night?" he asks, his hand at the nape of your neck.

You sigh. You really, really want to.

"You're sure it doesn't gross you out?"

"Fucking positive, babe." You deliberate. He gives you a light squeeze. "Got a TV dinner with your name on it."

You're cursing yourself internally as you give in. "What are we having?"

He presses a kiss to your neck, pleased as punch to have his way, and pulls back to see your face. "We're having whatever you want. Swedish meatballs, chicken pot pie," he starts to list your options, dragging,

"Mac and cheese?" you ask.

"You want mac and cheese? We'll go to Bradley's right now and get you some mac and cheese." He holds you at arm's length. "I'm a firm believer in pretty girls getting everything they want."

"I bet."

"Again with the sarcasm." He gives your face an adoring once over and drops his hold on you in favour of his cup, staggering to his feet. "Awesome. Get in the van. I'm not above manhandling you."

You stay sitting and grin up at him. He flicks condensation at you. "Get up!"

"You'll have to manhandle me."

"Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you? Sicko. Finish your drink and let's go."

You don't rush.

#eddie munson x reader fluff #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader blurb #eddie munson x reader imagine #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson drabble #stranger things fic #stranger things x reader #stranger things 4 #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #x reader #no spoilers

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sillywittleprincess · 17 days

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Modern AU Mahito x fem reader

Warnings: SMUT, dub-con (reader is intoxicated), inexperienced reader, sub reader, fingering, teasing, use of the word slut (once), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, squirting, semi-public sex, not beta read

Word count: 4.2K

It has been a long week of cramming homework and you needed a break. Needed something to distract you from the hell they call college. You decide to text your friend Nobara to see what she's up too. Despite being a year younger than you, she already doubles you in popularity and always knows when there's a party.

Y/N:

Hey girl! Sorry we haven't seen each other much this week, professor nanami has no mercy when it comes to assignments.

Nobara:

Haha you're all good gorgeous. What's up? You texting me out of the blue is like hell freezing over.

Y/N:

>:0

It's not like I NEVER text first. But you're right, something is up.

Nobara:

LMAOO why did you phrase it like that 😭

Y/N:

Shhhh! Anyways, do you know if any parties happening tonight? Like ones where I won't get kidnapped?

Nobara:

Oooh quiet y/n is entering her party era?!

Yeah I'm actually going to a party tonight with Maki. I'll send you the address ;)

Y/N:

How'd you convince Maki to go to a party with you 😭

Also thanks girl! When does it start?

Nobara:

She doesn't know she's coming yet, but you know I'm dragging that girl by her ear to come with me :P.

And it starts at 8, so that gives you time to get ready. Hopefully I'll see you there girl!

Y/N:

Hopefully <3

You look at your phone again and see that Nobara has sent you the address. You smile at the message, she's such a good friend. The clock on your phone says it's 6:58pm so you decide to start getting ready now so you don't run late.

You first pick out your outfit. "Something cute but not too showy...." You think to yourself.

After rummaging through your closet for a few minutes, you finally find an outfit that you like. A pleated black skirt that goes down to your mid-thigh, a light pink oversized sweater, some white leg warmers, and some Mary Jane's that you bought online a few years ago.

You put on your cute and casual party outfit and press the power button on your phone, looking at the time.

"7:11" you say aloud to yourself. You walk over to the vanity in your room and sit on the chair, looking in the mirror. You didn't look bad at all, you just wanted a extra cute factor.

You turn on some music and open your makeup bag, finding yourself in your own world. You flinch slightly when the dollop the cold moisturizer onto your face before quickly rubbing it in. Then you reach for your blush, rubbing your brush against the powder compact before buffing in onto your cheeks. You also put a little on your chin to blend out the duller color it has compared to the rest of your face.

Then you grab your highlight and fanning brush, rubbing the brush in the glitter. You swipe the brush above your blush before dabbing your finger into the glitter. You put some on the inner corners of your eyes, on the cupids bow of your lips and on the tip on your nose.

Then you dig your hand in your bag and grasp onto your tube of mascara. You swipe of one layer of it before checking your phone once again.

"7:30..." You think out loud to yourself. "I should probably start on my hair."

You find your comb on your vanity and brush through your hair after fixing your part that got messy during the day. You put your hair into a cute half up, half down style, bringing the front two strands of your hair loose so they can frame your face.

You grab your phone and look at the time. The clock says 7:39pm. You turn off your music and look around your room. The floor is covered in clothes.

"I clean it up when I get home" you think to yourself.

You spritz on a few pumps of your favorite body spray before giving yourself a once over in your full length mirror. You definitely look cute.

You type in the address that the party will be at. It's a 18 minute walk, but you've walked further in worse weather so you'll be fine. You sigh softly as you exit your dorm and lock the door behind you.

...

The walk wasn't actually that bad. You wished you had your headphones with you but your thoughts were enough to entertain you on the walk to the house. You realized when you arrived that the party was at a frat house. It was to be expected, I suppose.

You check your phone, and 8:00pm stares back at you. Getting there the moment the party starts is a little embarrassing but that just means you get first dibs on drinks.

You knock on the door and you hear music blasting from behind the thick wood. A few moments later the door opens and you see a man that looks slightly familiar.

"Oh...I didn't expect to see you here y/n". The male in front of you says in a slightly surprised, but monotone voice. You give him a once over and it hits you. Two messy buns, pale skin, black stripe tattooed on his nose. Choso Kamo! A quiet boy in your English class.

"Hi choso. Am I here too early?" You ask, hoping he'll say no.

"Nah you're good. We finished setting up a while ago. There are a few people who can earlier than you if that helps you feel better." He gives you a soft, comforting smile then opens the door wider so that you can pass through. "Come on in"

You thank you and walk inside, the music blasting loudly. You swear you feel it vibrating in your bones.

"I'm on door duty but you make yourself comfortable okay?" Choso says a bit more loudly than before so you can hear him over the music.

"Thank you choso. I hope that I see you later." You also say in a louder pitch before waving him goodbye.

You look around the living room and see a few people either scrolling on their phones or talking with their friends. That reminds you of Nobara. You pull out your phone to text her

Y/N:

Hey I'm at the party. Where are you and Maki at?

Nobara:

Damn girl, you got there early. I wasn't planning on coming until 9. So just chill until I get there okay? Maybe get yourself a drink to pass the time.

You groan out. Now you're stuck in a new environment with nobody that you know. But you decide to take Nobara's advice and head towards the kitchen to look for some alcohol. And when you enter the kitchen the music becomes more mellow and that's when you see him.

Sitting on the counter in the kitchen in mahito. He is well known around campus for beating some guy into a pulp last year so absolutely no reason. You've always tried to avoid him in the hallways out of fear. This is your first time being in such close proximity with him. His casual outfit of baggy jeans and tight long sleeve shirt make him look approachable, but you know better.

Looking down at the floor to avoid eye contact, you open the fridge and see it's practically busting at the seams with booze. You're about to grab a can when you hear the sound of feet plopping on the ground.

"Hey...you looking for alcohol? The fridge is where we keep the cheap stuff so I wouldn't recommend it when we have better options."

His voice is a lot smoother than you thought it'd be. It seems to relax you, but only for a moment when you remember his reputation again.

"Um thanks for the heads up." You say awkwardly, still looking at the fridge. "Where is the not cheap stuff then?"

"Turn around and look at me and I'll show you" you can hear the smirk in his voice as he talks. Hesitantly, you turn around and look at him. He's tall, at least taller than you. The first thing that you notice is the stitches on his face. If they're real or fake, you're not curious enough to ask. Then your eyes drift from his face to his hair. He has such nice, long hair. You have to resist the urge to run your fingers through it.

"Ahh a girl who's not too afraid to look me in the eyes. That's quite rare these days." He says before sighing out dramatically. "Anyways, the good stuff is in the basement downstairs," his voice drops to a slutry tone. "Do you want to come with me to get it?" Then his tone changes once again to a more cheerful one, "that way, you can pick out what you want."

His constant change in demeanor confuses you. He seems to mean well but you can never be too sure. "That sounds good, just give me a moment"

Mahito smiles down at you as you pull out your phone, tilting it away from him so he doesn't see. You open you messages app and text Nobara.

Y/N:

Just so you know, I'm going to the basement with mahito to get drinks. If I'm not in the living room by 9, check in there to make sure he didn't kill me or something.

I turn my phone off and look at Mahito. "Sorry about that, I'm ready now".

Mahito shrugs, seeming not to care. "Follow me" he says before opening a door in the kitchen that you assumed was a pantry. But you stand corrected as you see stairs going down to a grey concrete floor.

You follow Mahito, closing the door behind you. You don't want anyone else to see that you're getting the good stuff and they're not. As you walk behind him down the stairs, the silence feels heavy. You don't know if it's awkwardness or fear of his reputation. Probably the second one.

When you finish walking down the stairs, mahito is already way ahead of you, opening a mini fridge. He kneels down to peer in. "So we have vodka, rum, some leftover champagne and a bottle of wine. The wine's mostly used for cooking but I'm sure the guys won't mind if a glass goes missing."

You nod as he lists off the multiple types of alcohol. "Can I have vodka?" You ask. Mahito hums in acknowledgement and grabs a small plastic bottle before handing it to you.

"It may not look like a lot, but this will get you drunk for sure." He says with a smirk.

You nod once again before twisting open the cap, taking a small sip. You cringe at the taste of straight vodka and Mahito laughs loudly in your face.

"Have you never drank before?" He asks in a teasing manner. This makes your eyebrow twist and you feel like you have to prove yourself. Without a moments hesitation, you bring the small bottle to your lips before chugging it, holding back your body's reflex to spit it out.

Mahito whistles lowly at your prideful action. "Wow, you could have just said no, but damn." Then his voice gets a teasing lit to it "you might wanna sit down. Can't have you wobbling up the stairs now can we?" He gestures towards a worn in looking sofa.

You're about to say that you're fine but then a wave of nausea hits you and you decide to follow mahitos advice. You slowly make your way towards the couch before plopping on it.

Mahito giggles and sits down next to you, leaving a cushion in between you too. "I didn't expect you to be so eager to prove me wrong pretty girl" he says, his voice still teasing. He lets out another giggle as you groan. "Don't worry, the nauseous stage will be over soon" he scoots closer to you to run his flat palm on your head, trying to comfort you.

You originally flinch when he touches you but your mind becomes as woozy as your body and you relax into it. There are a few minutes of silence, only broken by your heavy breathing. Despite your original fear of him you feel comfortable in this moment. "It's probably the alcohol, you think to yourself".

The comfortable silence is broken my Mahito suddenly speaking up. "Are you feeling any better?" You nod in reply, distracted by the comfortable feeling of Mahito's hand on your head.

Mahito chuckles. "You like my touch that much ,huh?" He says before pulling his hand away. You pout and look at him, wondering why he stopped.

"Put your hand back, it felt nice" you demand.

Mahito smirks. "Ohh so you're an honest drunk... how about this. You do something for me, and I'll go back to petting your head."

You may be drunk but you still know how dangerous that situation sounds, especially with a person like him. You bite your lip anxiously then say "before I agree, what exactly is it that you want from me?"

Mahito smiles at your question. "You're such a smart girl. I'll tell you what I want. I want you to do something that is truly unique to you. Something that will touch my very soul. What I want you to do..." he stops his monologue to look at you, reveling in your confused expression. "I want you to crawl into my lap and whisper your deepest desires into my ear. Will you do that for me sweet girl?"

The sexualness of his request makes you blush.

Mahito smirks when he sees you blush "Awe, are you embarrassed baby? I promise I won't do anything...until you want me to." His sultry tone makes you feel a tingle run down your spine.

You think about his request for a moment. Maybe it was the alcohol but it didn't seem like a bad deal to you. And he promised not to do anything.

"Okay... I can do that. B-but only if you promise not to judge me! And you have to promise that you'll go back to petting my hair!" You say looking directly into his eyes.

"I promise baby" he says bringing the hand the was once touching you to your hand, intertwining your pinkies. "See? I pinkie promise to keep my word. Now come here and crawl into my lap like a good girl." He says, removing his hand from yours and patting his thigh.

You awkwardly move so that you're straddling one on Mahito's thighs. You can feel how toned they are against your panties even though his jeans. "This is so embarrassing" you say, hiding your face in the crook of his neck as I feel my cheeks grow hotters.

Mahito sighs, enjoying the feeling of your weight on top of him. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about sweet girl. Just let it all out." He runs a finger up and down your spine, making you shudder.

You decide to get down to business right away, lowering your voice to whisper in his ear. "Well...I'm a virgin. I've never done anything too sexual before. So... it's my dream that when I do have my first time, it's with someone experienced that can help me and...take control." You shift my hips side to side, not knowing if you're doing it because you're anxious or because of the delicious friction that it provides.

Mahito smirks, his breath hot against your neck "Ah, a virgin. How quaint. I assure you, my dear, I have plenty of experience in this department. And as for taking control...you have no idea how much I enjoy doing just that." The long haired man grasps onto your hips, making you gasp. "And stop squirming baby. If you want I can relieve you later"

You blush at his words and stop shifting your hips. You decide to continue saying your desires, your hormones taking control over your mind. "And I've never...um...fingered myself. so I want someone to do that to me too."

Mahito hums softly in response, his voice low and seductive "Ahh, that's not the first time I've heard a girl talk about fingering." He runs his thumbs over the fat of your hip. "Very well, I shall do all those things for you. Now then, why don't you let your guard down and give me full control?"

You pull your head away from his neck and look at him with a slack jaw and wide eyes. It was probably the alcohol. It has to be the alcohol. That's the only reason why you were considering his offer. Yes, that had to be it. You can just blame it on the alcohol later.

"You'd...do those things for me?" You ask bashfully.

Mahito's smirk widens, his eyes filled with lust "Of course. I've been wanting you since I say your cute self walking into the kitchen looking to booze. And if getting to have you means fingering your virgin pussy until you scream my name in ecstasy...then so be it."

You whimper softly at his dirty words, going back to burying your face in his neck, feeling embarrassed and overwhelmed.

Mahito's hand gently massages hips, trying to soothe your nerves. "There's no need to be embarrassed pretty girl. You were born to feel pleasure, and it's my pleasure to help you find it."

You nod into his neck. "I know...I'm just not used to this. I don't even know how to start this..." You felt embarrassed and shameful about how inexperienced you were when it came to sexual encounters.

But as promised, Mahito was there to take the lead. Mahito's fingers moved up from your hips to your back, lightly trace designs, his touch gentle and soothing. "You can start by relaxing. Let all your muscles go lax, and let your body melt into mine. I'll take care of the rest."

You shivered when you felt his comforting words said against the skin of your neck. You do your best to do as he says, taking a few deep breaths and letting your muscles grow relaxed against his body.

Mahito hums softly, pleased with your response. "Good girl. Now let me see what else I can do for you."

You gasp when his hands make their way down again, but this time going slightly lower than your hips, massaging the gloves of your ass.

"Shhh it's okay" Mahito hums out, "I've got you".

As he says this, Mahito's fingers find the hem of your skirt, gently pushing it upwards. He then reaches your panties, his fingers tracing the outline of your virgin pussy, making your body tremble. "You're so wet for me already. Did talking about your horny thoughts get you all worked up?" He teased.

You whimper softly "sorry" you apologize, unsure of what to say. "that's a little embarrassing..." You didn't want him to get turned off by how unused your body was to this type of attention.

Mahito's fingers dip into your panties, feeling the slickness of your arousal. He smirks against your ear "Embarrassing? No, it's quite endearing baby. You're excited for me to touch you. To be honest, that's hot as hell."

His praise makes you want more. You try your best to stay relaxed like he said, but you can't help softly grinding your hips against his hand.

Mahito's fingers slip out of your panties pulling them to the side. Placing his thumb and forefinger on your cunt, he gently part your lips, teasing the entrance of your pussy "You want me to finger you? To make you scream my name in pleasure? Let everyone upstairs hear you?"

"Please..." you whine out, feeling yourself grow wetter at his words, feeling yourself clench around nothing.

Mahito's thumb presses against your clit, while his forefinger begins to slowly enter you. He goes slow, savoring the tightness and wetness of your virgin pussy "Mmm, you're so tight...so perfect," he groans out, throwing his head back. You followed in suit, slightly arching your back and moaning out a little more loudly and high-pitched than intended. The foreign object inside you feels new and different, but it definitely doesn't feel bad.

Mahito smiles, hearing the pleasure in your voice. He begins to move his finger in and out of you, faster and harder. "Come on...move your head. Look at the person who's making you feel good for the first time"

You do as he says, anything to keep him going. As you lean back to sit down fully of his leg he smirks at you. Only one finger was in and you looked a mess. You had a slight sweaty look to you and you were panting. It'd look like you had just finished running a marathon if it wasn't for your eyes, half-closed in pleasure. "I knew you'd be a good little slut for me."

You open your mouth to object but only a moan comes out as mahito slides in a second finger. The stretch was painful at first until he did something that made you grip onto his wrist. He curled his fingers inside you, hitting a sensitive spot that you didn't know you had.

"You like that, don't you?" Mahito questions, but it's more of a statement. "Being filled up by my fingers? Feeling me touch you where no one else has?"

You whine loudly and he pumps his fingers in and out of you. "It feels so good Mahito... I love it so much!"

Mahito starts to feel you clenching more tightly around him and he smirks. He rubs your clit with his thumb, having forgotten that it was resting there in the first place.

Your moans grow louder and louder and all it takes is one, two, three swipes of his thumb on your clit before for cumming on his hand.

But mahito doesn't stop. No, his smirk turns to more of a sadistic one and he pumps his fingers faster, rubbing his thumb against your clit in hard, fast circles.

"N-no!" You babble out. "I need a minute, I can't take any more"

Mahito chuckles as you beg. "You can and you will. You're a big girl. Remember when you chugged that vodka? I think you can give me one more."

You squirm your hips, trying to get away, but Mahito's other arm wraps around your waist, keeping you in place.

Your grip on his wrist tightens and you look at him with pleading eyes. "Mahito please stop! I feel like I'm gonna pee!" You sob out, tears of overstimulation pricking at the corners of your eyes.

You immediately regret saying that because mahito starts giggling like a psycho and goes as far as to add a third finger.

"W-wait..!" You try to start, but the second Mahito curls all three fingers inside you, a hot gush of liquid shoots out of your pussy. Some of soaks into Mahito's jeans and some socks into the plush couch you both are on top of.

You sob, hot tears of pleasure and embarrassment running down your face.

Mahito has stopped giggling now and looks at you in concern. He slips his fingers out of you and pushes you underwear back to its rightful place, though it is a little wetter than before you came down to the basement. "I'm sorry baby, was that too much?" He wipes his cum-soaked hand on the sofa and uses the other one to wipe your tears.

"I just... didn't know what was going on... everything felt like it was too much" you sniffled out.

Mahito frowns when he realizes that he's done something more than make you feel pleasure. He made you feel unsure. He brings his clean hand to the back of your head and guides you down so that your head in in the crook of his neck. "Shh it's okay...I'm sorry I scared you." He strokes your head, keeping his promise that he would do that afterwards.

You smile softly and you feel yourself begin to relax again. That was until the basement door slams open and you hear footsteps pounding down the stairs.

You turn around wide eyed, and you blush shamefully when you make eye contact with Nobara, Maki trailing not far behind her.

You see rage in Nobara's eyes as she takes in your appearance, disheveled hair, post-crying eyes, mascara smearing off. But then maki whispers something to her that you can not hear and you see Nobara sniff the air.

Her angry face turns into a lopsided smirk.

"No...fucking...way. I thought you were getting murdered down here but it turns out you were getting your back blown out!" Nobara laughs at her own joke and Maki looks at the two of you, pushing up her glasses before speaking. "Just so you know, it reeks of sex in here. You both should probably spray some air freshener before coming back up."

You smile awkwardly, feeling like your face is on fire. Mahito just laughs and wraps his arms around you before saying, "that's a good tidbit. But why don't you two girl go back upstairs now. And make sure to close the door. I wasn't quite done with y/n," he says with a smirk.

#jjk #x reader #mahito #mahito x reader #mahito x reader smut #jjk smut

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quinns-shadowy-arts · 3 months

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No More Running

Day 7 of @steddielovemonth‘s Steddie Love Month Event! Rating: General CW: None Tags: Fluff, Getting Together, Eddie Munson is a Sweetheart, Eddie Munson is a romantic WC: 1,122 Prompt: “Love is what makes you brave” submitted by @sidekick-hero

Note: Guess who came down with a cold. Me. Guess who ignored their many deadlines to write this. Also me. Sorry if this isn’t the best (and is also very late), but I’m pretty sick and can’t breathe out of my nose. I wanted something soft to make me feel better, so I wrote this. Enjoy!

He wasn’t going to run anymore. That’s what Eddie promised himself when he woke up from surgery after being dragged out of the Upside Down. He wasn’t going to run, and he hasn’t. He hadn’t run from Wayne, he hadn’t run from the somehow alive Jim Hopper, he hadn’t run away from the aftermath of Vecna, and he wasn’t going to run from this.

Eddie’s been developing feelings for Steve since he made that promise. Waking up to learn that the Steve Harrington bridal carried his half dead body out of hell really does something to a guy. Not only that, but Steve is one of the sweetest guys Eddie has ever met. Long gone is the King Steve of Hawkins High; replaced by a loving, caring, and smart man.

Steve had been there for Eddie through the whole recovery process. He helped with proving that Eddie was innocent, he helped Eddie with bathing, and he helped Eddie with cleaning and wrapping his wounds.

Steve also helped Eddie with processing the trauma of Spring Break. He held Eddie’s hand and talked him through panic attacks. He stayed awake with Eddie when sleep seemed like a monstrous task; the fear of what he’d dream fraying Eddie’s nerves and keeping him awake.

Steve was also just an amazing person overall. He had an amazing sense of humor; making Eddie’s ribs ache with the laughter he tugged out of him. Steve was smart, he could read people’s emotions like no other. He knew exactly what Eddie was feeling by looking at him for only a couple of seconds. Steve could pull the real reasons as to why Eddie was quiet out of him when no one else could.

He was easy on the eyes, too. His chestnut hair looked glorious, styled or not. His eyes were kind and genuine; but could turn bitchy in a way that sent heat down Eddie’s spine. Steve’s hands were big and spotted with freckles and moles, like the rest of his body. His skin was sun kissed and hairy. Everything about him made Eddie want to pounce on him.

Everything about Steve had made Eddie fall head over heels in love with him. Eddie knew about Steve’s woeful dating history; knew about Steve’s failed loves. How people have used Steve for a quick fling or bragging rights before tossing him to the side.

Eddie wanted to give Steve the world. Eddie wanted to worship Steve the way he deserved; to kneel at his feet and kiss up his body, to whisper praises into his ear, to pump Steve full of love and want, and maybe some other things besides love, too. Eddie wanted to make sure Steve knew that he deserved better than those past flings could have ever provided.

That’s why Eddie is stood outside of Steve’s font door, holding a bouquet of deep, ruby roses. Eddie had put on a black button up and black jeans. His wallet chain still dangled on his hip, complementing the silver of his rings. He had tied his hair up into a bun, leaving some framing pieces around his face. He spent a while on doing himself up, had wanted to look good for Steve.

He leaned forward and knocked at the door. Steve always teased him about not using the doorbell, but Eddie liked knowing that Steve knew it was him at the door based on his knock alone.

Eddie heard shuffling from behind the door before the sounds of the lock being opened filled his ears. His heart picked up its pace, knowing how close Steve was. Eddie sends out one last prayer, despite not believing in any type of greater being, that Steve felt the same way he did. And if he didn’t, to at least keep Steve in his life for as long as possible.

The door swung open, Steve stood in the doorway in grey sweatpants and a Hall and Oates T-shirt. He looked absolutely gorgeous like this, soft and relaxed. He had obviously been lounging around before Eddie had come knocking on his door.

“Hey, Eds!” Steve said, a smile stretched across his face. Eddie’s gut filled with warmth. His heart stuttered with the overwhelming love he felt for this man.

“Hey, Stevie. I hope I’m not bothering you?” Eddie said. Steve shook his head,

“Nah, man. You’re not bothering me.” Steve looked down,

“What’re those for?” Steve looked back up and made eye contact with Eddie.

“They’re uh, they’re for you, actually.” Eddie turned his head away. He could feel his face warming up. He held the roses out for Steve to take, hopefully he’d take them.

Steve grabbed the bouquet, pulling Eddie’s attention back up. Steve’s own cheeks and ears flushed.

“Why? Is there an event or something that I’m missing?” Steve sounded shy and a bit nervous. Eddie shook his head and smiled at Steve.

“No, I just wanted to get you flowers. Could I talk to you, actually?” Eddie asked, he shuffled his weight from foot-to-foot as he spoke. He was nervous and scared about confessing his feelings to Steve. He really hoped that this wouldn’t destroy their friendship.

“Sure, yeah, come inside.” Steve said, stepping away to make space for Eddie. Eddie stepped inside and shut the door behind him. He turned to Steve, straightened his back and gathered all of the courage he could muster.

“Steve, you’re my best friend. You mean so much to me. You’re so kind and amazing.” Steve’s blush deepened at Eddie’s words,

“You’re the bravest person I’ve ever met. You’re strong, not just physically, but in every aspect of the word. You are so observant, you can always tell when I’m upset. You can read me like a goddamn book,” Steve chuckled and looked down at the roses in his hand, he was never really good with accepting praise.

“You are my everything, Stevie. And I’ve developed a lot of feelings for you, So, would you like to go out with me?” Eddie finished. Steve’s eyebrows had raised with surprise, his mouth forming an “o” shape. Steve blinked, then his mouth fell back into a smile.

Steve walked up to Eddie, dropping the hand holding his flowers to the side. He placed his free hand onto Eddie’s face. His thumb swiped over Eddie’s cheek before pulling him in.

Their lips smooshed together and a fire lit up in Eddie’s chest. Steve’s lips moved against Eddie’s, their lips forming a rhythmic push and pull. After a minute, Steve pulled back. He smiled at Eddie, both their faces still red and warm to the touch.

“I would love to go out with you, Eddie” Steve whispered against Eddie’s lips.

Eddie’s so glad he didn’t run from this.

#steddie ficlet #steddielovemonth #steddie #fluff #getting together

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