Tumgik
#who wrote that what is it doing in my recommend tags i am losing my mind
findstenicht · 1 year
Text
waging psychological warfare against my lecturer for no reason by asking for feedback on whats potentially the worst paper ive ever written
2 notes · View notes
swordfright · 8 months
Note
do you have any c!awesamdream fics recomendations?
Honestly, I don’t have a ton of recs. c!awesamdream fic is mysteriously hard to find, and I also wouldn’t want to recommend you anything super E-rated in case that’s not your jam. Personally I’ve had more success searching the Sam & Dream gen relationship tag than the slash tag. That said, here are my no-brainer recs, most are gen with some exceptions:
inosculation by @theminecraftbox - canon compliant, reflection on how their relationship progresses during the prison arc, how c!sam’s authoritarian tendencies bloom in pandora, and the weird symbiosis he and dream achieve. technically not a slash fic but like it is To Me!!
saltwater on rock by @elmhat - also not technically a slash fic but it is a fun exploration of their relationship post-prison: who are they to each other, now that they aren’t prisoner and warden? what power has dream reclaimed, what power has sam ceded? or is it the other way around? fun stuff.
the trees deny themselves nothing by @lookinghalfacorpse - if you’re asking for recs you’ve probably already read this one (it’s basically THE awesamdream fic at this point) but i think it lends itself to re-readability! and if you haven’t read it: dream loses his leg in pandora, phil n techno conscript sam to make him a new one after the jailbreak, things get interesting. OP also wrote a post-fic oneshot which you can read here.
everlasting evermore by @elmhat - incomplete atm and also not slash but definitely awesamdream vibes. sam is a sad widower king who interrogates dream in his dungeon so it scratches the fantasy itch. this fic does some cool things with the cloning lab lore and i’m really excited to see where it goes!
21 steps in the desert by @airrec - banger. it's short so i won't describe it in detail. banger tho!
scream eureka by @cgogs - basically a post-canon domestic horror fic, sam and dream are married (with a kid on the way) but neither of them is able to move on from pandora. this fic deals with issues of bodily autonomy very well and it’s also refreshing to see trans pregnancy handled with tact, rather than treated like a fetish or a joke. IIRC this fic is an AU of an AU so be warned, it does come with like 30 pages of background lore which isn't necessary to understand the fic but does make it easier to follow.
all these lives by @lookinghalfacorpse - reincarnation drabble, plays with sam’s obsession in fun ways. not really sure how else to describe this one but i reread it sometimes! it’s good!
you don't have to be like that by @dr3amofagame - incomplete, i haven't reread this one in a while but i remember enjoying it at lot! dream gives sam the book in a moment of desperation and then has to navigate the fallout.
accident by @airrec - another fave. concise, fucked up, and very well written.
i’ve also been working on a multichap awesamdream fic (am i allowed to rec my own fics??? is that too cringe??) that’s gonna be wrapping up soon. pandora's vault gains sentience, that's the whole plot. like most of the other works on this list, it’s not technically ship fic but it is very much about sam and dream’s...situation. full warning tho, it’s long and rambly and weird, sorry for that!
i also wanna add that pretty much any fic that explores the scrapped lore is gonna have to deal with awesamdreamisms by necessity, owing to the nature of, well, the lore. there's a decent amount of fics about it, here's one that I found recently and enjoyed a lot.
Have fun, mind the tags. And if you find more then by all means, feel free to add to this post! I know there's a lot of tumblr-exclusive content floating around out there that can be harder to find than stuff on AO3.
Also, it's worth mentioning that some of the most compelling c!awesamdream content I've read were brief interludes in fics about much broader subjects in the fandom; I've read a lot of great c!awesamdream moments in c!rivals fics, prison trio fics, c!dnf fics, etc. So my advice is to cast your net wide, if that makes sense? Happy reading!
114 notes · View notes
iridescentnuances · 2 days
Text
5 Movies I'd Show You
Thank you @psalacanthea for always tagging me in games even though I'm not very good at it lol
Okay so with this list, it's going to become pretty obvious that I am a huge weeb. I spent some time thinking about what non-Asian movies I could include. I almost came up with none because weeb foggy brain is foggy. But worst of all, it's really shameful that me, a Spaniard, couldn't come up with a single Spanish recommendation! I will duely reflect upon this tragedy.
So here we go, in no particular order:
One of my favourite musical films of all time, a gut-wrenching tragicomedy about a woman who desperately looks for true love in abusive men. Great acting, great comedic scenes, and when it's time to cry, oh boy does it make me cry. Used to hit too close to home. Can't wait to watch it again after some years.
Okay, when talking Wong Kar-wai, everyone always says how good In the Mood for Love is. I get it. But its sequel hit all the right buttons for me. A man obssessed with the past leaves a trail of emotional corpses. The past never was, as one would think, any better than the present. All that's left is picking up the pieces to try and make something out of the treacherous nostalgia of an unfulfilled romance.
From when I decided to watch each and every Cillian Murphy movie ever. If you liked Girl Interrupted or But I'm a Cheerleader, y'know, any movie about teenagers being committed somewhere, you'll probably like this one. Romance, memorable lines, great soundtrack and honestly, a worthwhile cute ending to dig oneself out of depression.
Hear me out. This movie, this fucking movie. It gets a bad rep for allegedly being too misogynistic and/or too feminist. I wrote my bachelor's thesis about this movie. Twenty-seven pages worth of paper just going on and on about it. I could talk for hours about the book, the adaptation, the authors, the script, eeeeeverything. If you haven't seen it yet in your life, you just have to. If you've already seen it, watch it again and open your mind to it. I won't say anything about it except GOD FORBID WOMEN DO ANYTHING. A very controversial academic opinion, I was told.
The nightmare version of a teenage flick. This one might be my favourite out of Gregg Araki's "Apocalypse Trilogy". If I'm not mistaken, it features all of Araki's tropes: reptilian aliens, problematic bisexuals, at least two pairs of twins, impending doom, and homoerotic longing. It's funny, it's queer, it's horny, it's violent, it's a total freak-out.
Anyone who sees this and wants to do it, consider yourselves tagged!
2 notes · View notes
fruityuncleskeletor · 26 days
Text
Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game
seen on and snatched from @bunnakit
🎱 ⇢ post your AO3 total stats 
Tumblr media
🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?  I started writing my own stories about cartoon characters because the episodes on TV were too far apart
🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love
Chan's room episodes
🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that? a fucking solid 2, because the more I see my own fic, the more disgusted I grow with it and lose the will to post it. The 2 is because I do realise editing is necessary.
🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis
Tumblr media
🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help? I am calling @hardcandythinking but only to vent, I already know where to rent a woodchipper from
🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love @ellieellieoxenfree
💌 ⇢ how many unread emails do you have right now?  in my business inbox, 51. In my personal account, 0
🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis@sparkly-butthole-on-ao3
🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both?  I used to be really into writing the OG characters
🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before I have come to terms that I will always have an eating disorder, the difference now is that I've decided to profit from it.
🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time? I am fucking exhausted, fam. And the supreme lack of interest in my writing in this new fandom. Feeling unwanted and tired has managed to give me a writer's block that I have successfully dodged for 20+ years.
🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings
Here's two-
Geralt and Jaskier are so in love with each other, even platonically. They don't want to admit it, but they have a really warm and cozy love bubble around them and both are afraid that if they speak about it, it'll make them feel less giddy and elated and pull this bubble into reality, making it vulnerable to being popped by evil forces.
Jace's nonchalant attitude re: the people he bangs and his unflinching love for Alec always made me think he is an in denial asexual - he is obviously not sex-repulsed but he wields sex like a weapon or like a quick fix to avoid looking at deeper emotions affecting him. I fucking love Jace to death, he gets so little credit.
🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual?
talk to me on tumblr
🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now
My cat's health is better
I am losing weight and gaining muscle, feeling fitter than in my 20s
I found a hairdresser I absolutely love going to
📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app? some Korean words for reference. In Korean.
  🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character Yennefer is a gigantic selfish asshole, with only moments of emotional clarity and kindness and she treats Geralt like absolute crap most of the time.
🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project? yeah not gonna make the FBI man's job easy. stay wondering, bro!
🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on
It's always better to assume people are assholes by default and then let yourself be pleasantly surprised when they are decent than the other way around. Saves you a world of disappointment.
❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?
I can't pick rn.
🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity
The only way around it is through it. It helps to do various other creative things, it will recharge your creativity in the realm you feel it's low in. Like if you have writer's block, make some art. Draw some shit, splash some colours, bake and decorate a birthday cake, go outside and photograph some flowers.
🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh "My butthole! I blew out my butthole!"
  🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work? When someone picks their favourite parts of the chapter or fic, and details their thoughts on it for my enjoyment.
🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate Alec is a good leader, perseverent and insightful.
🥝 ⇢ do you lie a lot? what's the most recent lie you told? God I used to lie more often than I breathed when I was a kid and a teen. Lately I just lie to get out of having to socialise.
🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately 
I find stanning a K-Pop group to be 20% fun and 80% disheartening if you're older because you definitely feel like you can't sit with the cool kids and everything is just a really good, hi-def illusion set up to make you bust your wallet wide open, so every moment of genuine relatability and connection is invalidated by the feeling that these people are part of a marketing strategy. It's kind of like going to see strippers and even if you like one, you know that even if you fell in love with them, you're not allowed to get to know them because for them it's just work and you are only worth the cash you pay in their eyes. The closeness is an illusion that leaves you feeling even lonelier and sadder than you were before.
🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?  There are a lot of them but my core reference is Anne Rice's writing. Now I am writing something that was inspired by the portrayal of Jack Reacher in the "Reacher" series on Amazon.
🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing It would be nice if I could write stuff that's relatable to others, not just to me. But that would mean biiiiiiiig consciousness shift and I'm extremely pussilanimous when it comes to this.
🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises? I think the delivery matters a lot - a surprise is being told something that you don't know yet, and if the person breaking the news makes it seem like a heart attack from shock is the adequate response, then better don't tell me, just show me.
🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here
Hyunjin had made himself comfortable on his bed, with his legs propped up on the headboard, leaving just his shirt and his socks on. He intended to drag it out as much as he could and get the most out of those pics.
Magazine in one hand, dick in the other - that’s how Changbin had found him, walking in to ask a very pressing question. (65 words bc just the 50 didn't make sense alone.)
☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username? Thinking about my love-hate relationship with writing.
🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them
@hardcandythinking is my bestie and my number 1 fan. She's the real MVP.
🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them
Tumblr media
🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it
instagram
This is so surreal - Chan is a human with two sets of ears and the rest of the members are tiny wee animals - and the love, goofiness and fun are so well captured. This artist also depicts Chan as shy and cute, and I prefer this to the hard dom or arrogant inaccessible guy takes I see more often. Like I get it's appealing to others but I like a squeaky, shy guy better than any alpha dude character.
🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?
poor characterization on a macro level
crass and goofy consistent misspelling like "nobbing" instead of "nodding", "viscous" instead of "vicious", "colon" instead of "cologne"
offputting descriptions like "chubby little cock" or "fat mushroom" (used for dick tips). I would lose my erection if someone talked to me like that irl
2 notes · View notes
officialtayley · 6 months
Note
Ash, you got a long ask earlier that bothered me when I read it. To the anon who wrote that, I am begging you to learn more about this occupation because calling it a “conflict” clearly means you’ve only consumed Western media’s coverage of it. 
Saying “it's sooo fucking easy to keep tagging paramore saying that they totally should speak up while what does it ACTUALLY change?? nothing.” is just wrong cause it won’t be nothing.
paramore speaking up and amplifying Palestinian’s voice would not stop this genocide but it will create a much safer community in this fandom for our fellow muslim and Arab friends. There’s a reason why this fandom got more diverse over the years and that’s cause the band made it clear where they stand when talking about racial justice. You can’t deny that the majority of paramore fans get influenced by a lot of the stuff the band shares. I’ve seen fans attend shows from artists that the band recommends, I know fans who bought the same instruments as Taylor and zac and this is the fandom that tolerated and bought expensive ugly merch for a long time cause it had the paramore brand attached to it. Imagine if they share info on how to call congressmen to demand a ceasefire, you don’t think more fans would be more motivated to do it? Imagine if they share a donation link or team up with an organization like they have done in the past. You don’t think it will have an impact? 
Saying “I’m so sick of this narrative that paramore created expectations of them ALWAYS speaking up in EVERY injustice or tragic, y'all created this expectation. every activism is a selective activism. they never pretended they were gonna to speak up about everything.” Is just tone-deaf anon, I’m sorry to be blunt but the wording on this is insensitive.
This is the biggest thing happening in the world right now and US citizens specifically are all complicit in this cause their tax dollars are funding the IDF that is massacring innocent civilians. No one is asking them to speak about everything but how are they just gonna ignore a genocide? When the Ukraine war started, they didn’t ignore it, they even wrote a song about it because the coverage was everywhere and you couldn’t ignore it and move on with your life. Now it’s happening again but at a larger scale, Israel has now killed more civilians in Gaza in 30 days than Russia has in its entire war in Ukraine, which began over 600 days ago (this is the number from an NPR article published on nov 6 2023). How are you just gonna ignore this, how’s the band gonna make speeches about taking care of each other when they have ignored Palestinians? 
Out of all of the things Palestinians could have asked all of us, they just asked us to spread the word and share the things they posted because they know that the Western media are all on Israel's side. I’m not only mad at paramore, I’m mad at every single artist that was fine with calling out loud loud racist like Trump but now are silent when POTUS is hugging and offering billion of dollars of aid to a dictator and war criminal. Where’s billie eillish and taylor swift too? They were both proud at calling out politicians and now it’s silent too. 
Maybe it’s cause I grew up in a colonized country and I see the effects it has on its people every day here and I’m more sensitive to it but how do you look at those numerous videos of Palestinians crying over dead family members and destroyed homes and lands and not have the urge to speak up about the injustice? How do people look at that and just move on 
👏👏👏 this this this! thank you for picking it apart cause so much of it bothered me but i just didn't have the energy to go through it.
the last paragraph though, i feel like i'm sensitive to death, especially when it involves children and babies due to losing my baby sister in 2007. watching your own parents go through that pain and then also i was going through it myself, when i see those videos it's extremely heartbreaking because it's like no one cares. these families are losing each other, losing entire bloodlines, and people are somehow able to just keep scrolling without a word? it's different obviously if the content is triggering, but many of us are still able to share other things and use our voices, but outside of that, i have no idea how people can just move on with their day.
0 notes
Text
You Said Forever (c.h)
Pairing: Calum Hood x Reader
Requested: Yes!
Summary: Based on the song “Driver’s License” by Olivia Rodrigo. You did everything you could to get over him, you talked to friends, went on long drives and even wrote him a song. Why cant you just let him go?
Warnings: Angst. Language. Mentions of alcohol. Some grammar mistakes? (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)
Word count: 6.7 k
Author’s Note: I’m so excited someone requested this! I highly recommend listening to the song before you read, references are in the text and dialogs. Please remember that Reblogs, Coments, Feedback and Likes are more than welcome and encouraged! You don’t know how much they help me 💕 Hope you like it and Happy reading 🦋
Fic of the week // My Materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?
Tumblr media
@rime-warrior : Hey love! Has anyone requested an imagine for Calum based on the song “Drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo yet? I think you’re the only one who would be able to do it any justice 😭💕
“I still see your face in the white cars, front yards
Can't drive past the places we used to go to
'Cause I still fucking love you, babe”
You could hear the doorbell ring over the thunderous storm raging outside. It was late, probably closer to midnight than you imagined. Who could possibly be outside right now? especially in this kind of weather?
After four consecutive rings, you decided to get up from your spot on the bed and walk up to the door. It must be something very important for someone to startle you that way.
Once you got closer to the door you could also distinguish some strong bangs coming from the other side accompanied by the endless ringing “Okay, okay! I’m coming!” You called, but whoever was standing opposite to you mustn’t have heard you as they continued to disrupt the peace of a stormy night.
A shiver ran down your spine before you could reach the doorknob, almost like the ghost of a feeling, a warning for you not to open the door. Despite your common sense, you decided to open the door, already being too late to go back.
“Calum?”
He was standing in front of you, completely drenched from head to toes. His breathing was uneven, almost like he ran all the way over here, but his eyes were set on yours, unmoving as you both tried to take each other in.
“Calum-what is?-” Your words got stuck in your mouth as he pushed himself forward, grabbing your face delicately as he clashed his lips with yours.
You felt yourself melt into the kiss, making it everything you ever wished for. You wrapped your arms around his neck and deepened the kiss as you brought him closer to you. He was here, he was finally here with you. It all feels like a dream.
Your alarm clock marked 6 AM when you jumped from your dreams into reality. You should’ve known, everything was too good to be true.
You brought one hand to your face, trying to wipe away the tiredness of your eyes, but you found your cheeks were humid due to tears you didn’t even know you shed through the night, damping your pillow sheets once again.
It was always the same dream: Calum coming back to you. Night after night your mind drifted to another reality where you’d meet again, sometimes it was at a concert, other at the local café of your neighborhood that you used to love so much, but tonight was the first night where he appeared at your house. Which was funny considering that he hasn’t stepped foot in this place for almost a year.
You pushed your thoughts away as you tried to go back to sleep. And you did try, but the tossing and turning made you restless, you cursed your mind as the only thing you could see when you closed your eyes was Calum, standing at your door and asking for a kind of forgiveness you weren’t sure you could give. Although, who were you kidding?
Checking the clock once again you realized it was 20 past 6, still too early to go back to real life, but not too early to start and try to live a little.
Pushing yourself off the bed, you grabbed a big hoodie and some pair of sweatpants before putting on your running shoes and hopping into the bathroom to brush your teeth and clean your face before grabbing your keys and getting out of the house.
You sat on the driver’s seat, just like you did a thousand times, taking a big breath before starting the engine.
“You do know you have a perfectly good car in your driveway, right?”
You smiled at him and greeted him with a hug and a kiss as you climbed into the passenger's seat.
It was your usual morning routine. Ever since you met and he found out you lived nearby the studio he always volunteered to carpool with you. Since then, your mornings were filled with hugs, good coffee and stolen kisses you gave each other as the road to the studio became longer and longer thanks to all the detours you took.
“Hello, Calum. I’m very good, thank you for asking, how are you?”
Calum rolled his eyes and gave you a little peck on your lips “I would’ve been on time if I hadn’t had to pick your ass from the other side of town”
You lightly punched him in the arm “You know you love me” He smiled.
“That I do, darling. But I would love you more if you drove us from time to time”
“You know I don’t have a car!” Calum turned to you and pointed to the classic mustang sitting in front of your house, raising his eyebrows as if to ask if you were stupid “That’s my dad’s car!”
“That he kindly gave to you when he helped you move to LA so you could pursue your dream of becoming the next new sensation of music,” He said mocking a dreamy voice to try imitating you “He said it was yours, so it's yours! And honestly, it’s a pretty cool car if you ask me. A real chick magnet”
You mocked a gag at his old reference of movies from the 50’s “Sexist much?” You both laughed as he started the car and started driving “Anyways, he only gave me the car because mom was threatening to sell it on eBay if he didn’t get rid of it soon enough, so he could still come and get it whenever he wants to” You shrugged.
Calum started sniffing the air, “What?” You asked, sniffing as well in case there was something wrong.
“Do you smell that?” He asked with a concerned face.
“Smell what?”
He leaned closer to you and sniffed harder before whispering “The bullshit”
You scoffed and pushed him back “Haha very funny”
You waited until he stopped laughing, you never told him the truth, well two truths actually.
One: That you enjoyed the drives you had with him, it was a special time for the two of you to be yourselves without anyone to judge. You would laugh, sing, talk for hours as you sat in traffic under the city lights. It was the little moments that matter for the two of you, these were your little moments and you didn’t want to give them up just yet.
It was not easy being in a “relationship” that no one knew about, not even his bandmates, although you knew they were suspecting something. All the sneaking away while amid a recording session, hanging out in each other’s rooms, how adamant he was to carpool with you every day, even when he didn’t need to go to the studio… It was an easy tell, but it was also your private life.
You told yourself that it was for the best, that you shouldn’t mix work and personal life, especially when your personal life included Calum. He was adamant to keep whatever you had out of the public eye “What we have is good” He said, “Why ruin it with labels?” And you agreed, knowing that making everything official could just mess everything up. Calum was your best friend, after all, you would be damn if you lose him.
And for the second truth:
“I don’t know how to drive”
Just in time, the traffic light turned red. Calum turned to you in disbelief “Bluff” You shook your head, not looking at him just yet “Bluff! That can’t be right! Y/N how old are you?”
You shrugged again “I never needed to! I always enjoyed walking plus,” You said nudging your arm on Calum’s “I have the best driver right here!” You pecked his cheek with a kiss and saw how quickly they blushed, making you celebrate this tiny victory inside your head. You loved making him blush, it gave you some kind of security that he felt the same way.
Calum stared at you for a moment too long, making you self-conscious under his eyes. You could tell the gears were running inside his head “What if I teach you how to drive?”
You chuckled “Now I call your bluff”
“I’m serious!” He said, not taking his eyes from you “We have time before the tour starts, and that way you could drive us somewhere for once! You know? Picking me out and going on a date?”
Your eyes were set on him with an alarming tone, a what now? Was he serious? “You would do that for me?” You asked shyly, not wanting to fall into another of his pranks, but he seemed serious enough.
“Of course!” He said with a chuckle that accentuated all his dimples “Let’s get you your driver’s license, Y/N!”
Calum grabbed your hand and intertwined it with his, shaking it as a victory celebration and then placing a kiss on your knuckles. You laughed and reminded him where you were “Eyes on the road, Hood” even though the light was still red, you would rather him not noticing the red that tinted your cheeks and the loud beating of your heart.
You saw how the sun was starting to illuminate the coast as you drove by. Everything was so quiet this early in the morning and you were thankful, you needed this quiet so you could be alone with your thoughts once again. And, just like every day, that just meant you were thinking of Calum.
Could you blame him? Possibly, your friends said you should. But could you live with yourself knowing that you are holding a grudge towards someone who is probably unaware of it? Not in the slightest.
You were never official, not to the public at least, but in your heart, you knew he was the only one who could make you feel like this. He was the only one capable of making you laugh as hard as you did, cry the way that you did, and enjoy yourself to the fullest. You were your best when you were with him and now… How are you now?
Would he care?
You knew he loved you, he said so himself. The only thing you didn’t know was in what way. Did he love you like a lover? or just like a friend who he’d get to kiss and make love to from time to time?
The lump in your throat became stronger as you remember the last moments you had with him and all the promises he couldn’t keep. You tried to distract yourself, crying behind the wheel could be dangerous and you weren’t going to risk your life for him, not yet at least.
You turned on the radio in hopes that it would call your mind, at this point even the commercials would make you feel better if they made you think about anything but him.
“And now, Laurie. We have the hottest single of the year!” Said the radio host with the most cheerful tone a person could mutter this early “This up-and-coming artist debuted this single almost a month ago and it is still top of the charts in almost 34 countries all over the world!”
Now the lump in your throat came back but this time with a knot on your stomach as well. The first time you heard the song play on the radio you felt excited, after all this is why you came to LA in the first place. Yet the feeling became bittersweet in no time.
“My girls, boys, and non-binary folks; if you are in your car right now get ready to sing this at the top of your lungs with all the feelings you could muster and send a fuck you to your ex. This is ‘Driver’s License’ by Y/N L/N”
“I got my driver’s license last week, just like we always -”
You turned off the music and kept driving in silence.
You knew it was a bad idea to release the song you wrote about him. Maybe it was a petty move on your part, but… didn’t you have the right to be petty this time?
Either way is not like people would realize it was about him. It was your little secret, yours and Calum’s if he ever heard it, although you believe that if he did then he would’ve said something to you by now. Yet his silence was similar to the one in your car; deafening and heartbreaking.
“I don’t know Calum,” You said as you stared at your car parked in front of you “Is it safe to do it here?”
Calum was leaning on top of the hood, rolling his eyes at your indecision “Would you rather do it on the PCA?” You shot your eyes at him with a deathly glare, he just chuckled “I promise is okay, this parking lot is big enough and there are no cars left that you could accidentally hit”
You were both standing in the middle of the studio’s parking lot late at night. Calum insisted that this was the day you learned how to drive, so he spent the night at your place and today he drove you in your car, that way there would be no excuses left for you not to do it.
However, you were still hesitant. This was technically your father’s car, his other baby, and if you ever crash it you wouldn't know what you’ll do. Calum noticed your doubt and took a step closer to you, grabbing your hand in his to give you some sort of encouragement.
“Look, babe. It’s okay if you don’t want to do it. I won’t pressure you” He said softly “I just thought this could be fun for the both of us” He smiled “Fun and educational for that matter. But if you’re not ready then we can go home and-”
“I want to do it, Cal,” You said, “I just- I don’t know where to even begin!”
He chuckled and placed a kiss on your forehead, making all the butterflies in your stomach take flight.
“Tell you what,” Calum said confidently “You get behind the wheel and I’ll put us some inspirational music”
He walked back to the car to connect his phone to the speakers “You better put my song first!” You called after him as you walked towards the driver’s seat.
Calum laughed “God, I should’ve never told you that! Now your ego’s off the damn roof!” Soon enough he sat on the passenger’s seat next to you and buckled up.
“Not my fault that you think of me so often you want to put it into song” You teased, leaning in for a kiss that Calum was happy to oblige.
“Yes,” He said mid-kiss “It is completly your fault” Next thing you know ‘Kill My Time’ was playing on the radio, but Calum was not letting go of you just yet.
You wished this moment last forever, you wished every moment with Calum would last forever, but you both needed to breathe at some point “I wish I could kiss you all day long, I swear I could die on your lips and die happy” You said as you pressed your forehead to his, smiling like a fool in love.
“Soon, love,” Calum said as he crashed his lips against yours “Just wait until tour is over and then we’ll have forever to do just that”
You grinned at his words, a few days ago he promised to make your relationship publicly official once he came back from tour, that way you’ll have more time together as a fairly new couple. If he was willing to take that step, then you were more than ready to follow along. You knew you’d give everything for him if you had to and you still won’t regret it. You love him, and that was enough for you.
“Think I’m ready to start,” You said once you pulled away from him for the last time.
Calum nodded and patted his hand on your thigh “Okay, first you have to turn on the engine. Good, then you check all your mirrors and make sure your gear shift is on position-”
“My what?” You asked.
“Your gear shift, you know? The stick in-”
“Oh, you mean the PRNDL? You said, trying your hardest to stay serious, but failing to do so once you saw Calum’s face.
“You couldn't go one day without your references now, could you?” He said in amusing disbelief that had you both laughing.
The lesson was fairly simple, it just consisted of going forwards and on reverse a few times and practicing some turns in circles around the parking lot, and you were proud to say you were getting the hang of it pretty quickly. Calum turned out to be a great instructor with the patience of a god, he never got mad at you or showed that he was scared - even though it was pretty clear that he was, especially when you turned too far and almost hit a lamp post - and you appreciate him for that.
It was almost 2 AM when you decided to call it quits for the day and start back tomorrow. Calum was now behind the wheel driving you to your house so he could pick up his car and drive home.
“Cal?” You said once he parked in your driveway.
“Yes, love?”
“I’m really happy with you” You shyly admitted.
Calum’s heart beamed with love as he pulled you closer for a goodnight kiss “And I’m really happy with you”
You kissed him one more time before jumping out of the car “See you tomorrow!” He called before you watched him drive away.
The sound of a horn woke you up from your daydream memory. You didn’t know the light had just turned green until the car behind you started pounding their button and cursing at you to move.
You watched the white car from the rearview mirror as you drove away, it looked like his, all the white cars did, but you knew he couldn’t be here just yet, not until the tour was done.
A sinking feeling of hopelessness filled your inner thoughts once again. The promises he made faded like the wind in the summer once he stepped on that plane and decided that you were something he had to leave behind. It would’ve been good to know beforehand, that way you wouldn’t have wasted a year by the phone, hoping it would ring and that he’d be on the other line.
You glanced at the car’s clock one more time, it’s already too late to do anything, you’ve been driving around without a destination for hours when it only felt like minutes. Time is something you learn how to lose when you’re alone, minutes become meaningless once you realize there is no one there to share them with you, but it’s late and it was time to head home. You let out a sigh at the realization that your drive-through therapy didn’t work this time.
Deciding to take the long way home, you started to drive through the lesser-known streets of LA, hoping that you’d get lost somewhere and not knowing if anyone would care.
The dreams of running away came flashing down, more of an idea than an afterthought. Yes, you made it in LA, you have a hit song and your dreams are coming true. Why didn’t that feel like enough?
If you were gone, even just for a little bit, would anybody notice? If you just got up in your car and started driving somewhere unknown until the feeling of loneliness faded away. Could you drive your feelings away? Outrun them somehow?
You knew that if Calum could do it then so could you. It was so easy for him to just leave whatever you had behind, to leave you behind and hope that you were okay somehow. If he thought that you were okay then he maybe didn’t know you at all and you are probably better off without him, just like your friends say all the time.
But were you better off without him?
Tears started piling up in the corner of your eyes once again. No, you were not better off without him even though you want to be. And neither you are better off with him, if he ever came back to you, that is.
You swallowed a sob, trying your hardest not to break down again. It was useless, all the tears and all the songs and all the fuck him an attitude that you could muster… What was it for if not to dwell on your pain even more? You are still hurt and he still did not care.
You took a turn on the left, knowing the way like the back of your hand. You knew this path would lead you home, but you also knew it would lead you to his house as well.
The first time you did this was to practice how to find your way to Calum’s home without getting lost. You knew he wasn’t home and he wouldn’t be for many many months, but you wanted to surprise him once he got there, to pick him up and drive him to that date he promised you once he returned. Now, you avoided that road like a plague unless you had days like this, days in which missing him became everything you did, and now passing through his empty house gave you the reality check you desperately needed: He is gone. It also inspired you to write the song, it was a blessing and a curse.
You turned into the familiar street and looked to your right, you counted the houses passing by one, two, three, four… Until you spotted his old porch. Normally, that’s all you did. You would drive through his street and see the house dark and cold as his owner was out of town. But today there was a white car on his driveway.
Your breath got caught in your throat as you recognized the license plate, immediately stepping on the breaks and making the car stopped abruptly in front of the house.
That is his car… But how? You knew that Calum kept his car in Ashton’s place so they could drive up together to the airport every time they had to leave. What is it doing here? Tour didn’t end until a week from today and-
The sudden movement coming from the house pulled you from every rational thought as the front door opened. You held your breath as the person who stole all your sleepless nights came into view.
He was home.
Calum stepped out of his house with a bright smile on his face. His hair was shorter than the last time you’ve seen it, and he was less tanned, a fact that was easily noticeable thanks to the contrast of his leather jacket on his skin. But his dimples were intact as he smiled at whoever was inside the house.
A small figure came behind him, wrapping her arms around his torso as she was laughing at something he said. Her blond hair was falling down her back so elegantly, and her smile was bright as day as she hugged him, you wouldn’t have noticed that in the photos. She looked happy, but what broke you the most is that he looked happy as well.
He was home, but he was home with her.
You knew something was going on, even if there wasn’t anything official from either of them. You weren’t official, too. But seeing them was all the proof you needed to believe it. Believe that it was actually over and neither of you said goodbye.
You bit the inside of your cheek as silent tears started rolling down your face. You wanted to scream, to cry your hearts out, and let the world fuck itself over and over again. But for the love that you had on yourself, you promised that you wouldn't dignify him by making a scene. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve to know you cared.
With that in mind, you wiped your tears and floored the gas pedal, driving away from the scene.
“Hey!!!!!”
“Guess what?”
“I PASSED THE TEST!”
“I can legally drive on my own now :D!”
Read 19:05
“Calum?”
“Oh, you must be at the concert now, my bad!”
“Let me know when we can FaceTime again! I can’t wait to tell you how it went! I’m so excited we can finally switch places and let me be the one in charge of the road, lol”
Read 23:54
“Is everything alright, Cal?”
Read 04:32
“I miss you”
Read July 19th 14:49
Last week you sent your last text to him and he still hadn’t responded yet. You tossed all night waiting for at least a smoke signal from him. He was gone for two months now and he never missed one of your calls, it was so unlike him, especially when he promised you to call every day he was on tour.
You tried to distract yourself by doing everything you could think of. You watched videos, listened to music, played candy crush over and over again, and still, there was no answer.
You were starting to give up when a notification from Twitter graced your screen, it read: “Calum Hood, bassist from the band 5 Seconds of Summer, seen cozying up with a mysterious girl in a nightclub two nights ago”
You blinked twice and reread the headline, hoping that your eyes were deceiving you.
“The Australian bassist seemed to be catching up with some friends and letting it all loose at a wild night here in London after their sold-out show in the O2 Arena.
Hood was wearing-”
You skipped all that unnecessary information, scrolling down to the bottom where you knew all media kept the real gossip. A bubble of anxiety started forming inside your throat, as your fingers moved over the screen. The atmosphere became heavy while you could hear your heart thundering inside your chest, every little beat it made was hurting you, almost like it was banging your ribcages begging to be set free.
Time stood still as you looked at the pictures, not wanting to believe your eyes as they analyzed every detail of it.
There he was, hugging a blond woman from behind and resting his face on her shoulders just like he used to do with you. Even from the picture, you could tell she was gorgeous. The next picture showed her wrapping her arms around his neck and smiling at him. He had his hands cupping her cheeks, his face denoted a serious expression, but the look in his eyes was fixed on her.
He kissed her in the third picture, his hands still cupping her cheeks. It seemed like he was smiling through the kiss.
The last picture had them sitting on some kind of leather sofa. She was sitting on his lap and his hands were wandering very close to her butt, holding her close to him.
“The fans of the band wasted no time on identifying the mysterious girl. She seems to be the new tour assistant manager of the boys. Let’s hope that work and pleasure don’t get between this beautiful couple #goals<3”
The stream of tears was never-ending. You couldn’t understand what was going on, why Calum hasn’t said anything to you, why-why did he let it happen? Something was not right, and it wasn’t just your breathing getting heavy inside your lungs or your shaky hands as you typed the next text.
“We need to talk, please call me?”
You got no answers that night as you cried yourself to sleep, realizing that you had no one to comfort you cause nobody knew that you two were even together. You were utterly alone.
The next morning you woke up to no text from him, not even a call or a voicemail.
Read 08:45
You forced yourself to finish your nighttime routine. Ever since you came back home you did nothing but cry, but not of sadness, you were crying of anger.
With him being far away it almost didn’t seem real. You allowed yourself to create some sort of fantasy where he would come back to you, to start over where you left off and be together for everyone to see. How foolish.
You thought that he’ll hear your song and he’ll be running back to you to apologize, to ask if you still love him like before. But he won’t, because he is happy without you while you rot in your own pity party.
You grabbed hold onto the counter, trying to hold the tears as everything suddenly became clear as day. All the red flags you ignored were now shining as candy apples. He made a fool of you and didn’t even dignify you with at least some kind of warning or apology. He brought you down and now it was up to you to climb back up and even higher than before.
How could he?
All the memories you held close to your heart were burning in the pyre of your soul. You loved him, you knew you did. But all you meant for him was just a summer fling, something to waste time on before the real thing came along.
But he loved you…
Did he?
He spent entire days and nights next to you. He told you stories no one’s ever heard of. He sang to you to sleep and wrote you the most beautiful poems you’ve ever read. He picked you up every day and stayed with you until it was your time to leave. He made you feel welcome and there was not a day where you didn’t feel safe around his arms. He was your best friend. He taught you how to drive and what it meant to feel something real, something as important as the love you could have for someone. He loved you, he said he did, he promised he did.
Maybe love was not enough for him.
Your mind was divided, fighting over and over and over again about the same thing. Part of you cursed his name while the other part just wanted to be held by him, telling you that it will all be okay. But you couldn't even trust yourself on this one.
The doorbell rang, one, two, three times.
You were not going to answer it. One look in the mirror and you knew you couldn't answer anyone in this state. Your eyes were puffy and red, your cheeks were hollowed from not eating all day. There was nothing you could do to make you look or feel better, so whoever was behind the door will have to find another way to disturb the chaos in your mind.
However, they were persistent. With the ring of the doorbell came a few bangs. It seemed urgent.
You took one last look at yourself before deciding with a sigh to go and open the door. Whoever it was must have a good reason to come banging at your door a little past midnight.
“I’m coming!” You called, voice coming out a little hoarse from crying all night.
A shiver ran down your back and you felt like you were here before, in this exact moment where all your instincts told you to walk away. You decided to ignore them as you gently turned the doorknob and opened the door. Immediately wishing you didn’t.
“Calum?”
He stood in front of you, soaked from head to toe. Hands in the pockets of his jacket, not the leather one, but one more cozy. He was also wearing a pair of sweatpants and part of his hair was stuck on his forehead. You didn’t realize it was raining.
“Can I come in?” He asked, not even a hello.
You debated on whether or not to let him in. Part of you wanted to throw him back into the streets, but a storm was coming - much in the literal and subliminal way, and you didn’t want him to drive in this weather, you still care for him even though you shouldn’t.
With a simple nod, you opened the door wide enough so he could enter the house, a little “thank you” came out of his mouth as he stepped inside for the first time in over a year.
You closed the door and started walking into the kitchen with Calum following you like a stray dog. Your hands were shaking so you hid them behind your back as you slowly wrapped your arms around you in an attempt to comfort you throughout this whole ordeal.
Calum is standing in front of you on the other side of the island. He is not looking at you, but rather he is looking at his feet. You figured he was too scared to be the first one to talk and it broke your heart that he has suddenly become shy around you when you used to tell each other everything. ‘But whose fault is that?’ You thought.
Now you were just two strangers in a room.
“I thought you’d still be on tour,” You said, breaking the silence that has fallen upon you.
Calum looked up and he almost looked thankful that you spoke first “The last two venues canceled at the last minute due to weather conditions,” He said “So we came back earlier than expected”
You nodded and faced the other way. The fact that he was here in your home made your stomach turn and not in a good way. You always thought him coming back was going to be something joyful, but it became more painful as time went by.
“They closed café Mariannete while I was gone” He said, was he really going to talk about that right now? Did he came over here to reminisce about the café you used to have breakfast in?
“I didn’t know. I don’t go there anymore”
More awkward silence came upon you. You both knew he was bullshiting his way into the real conversation he was avoiding to have. He always used to do that and you have forgotten how much you hated it.
“Were you driving by my house today?” He asked and you froze on the spot. You didn’t think that he saw you.
“I was,” You cleared your throat “I was coming back home”
“And you didn’t say hello” It was more a statement than a question.
A sour taste filled your mouth. How dare he? “You were busy enough” You knew it was a petty answer, but what did he expect?
A flash of hurt came through Calum’s eyes as he said nothing in return. He knew you saw him with her, so he had no excuse to push the topic back to you.
The atmosphere was tense as the only thing you could hear was the ticking of the clock and the raindrops falling through your window. There was so much to say and yet none of you were brave enough to muster them.
You had every right to be mad and he had a right to explain himself, but you were not going to be the first one to cave in. Not without hearing from him first.
Eventually, Calum got restless of the silence.
“Your song is amazing,” He said, pleading for an answer that didn’t contain poison in your words “Ashton showed it to us the day it came out”
So he has heard it, you didn’t know if you should be proud or ashamed “Thanks”
“I forgot to congratulate you on your number one”
“You forgot to do a lot of things”
If there was ever a moment where you could give him the chance to redeem himself, this was it.
You saw how Calum shifted his weight from foot to foot, he had his lips pressed in a thin line and you could see how his eyes changed and fell into a deep pit of regret as tears were forming in the corner of his eye.
“I know the song’s about me-” He said.
“How did you figure that out?” You said sarcastically.
“Y/N…” He pleaded, running a hand through his face, but you were having none of that.
“Why did you do it, Calum?”
You needed an answer, something you could hold onto to eventually let go. Calum, however, was almost speechless.
The ticking of the clock became even louder as you counted the seconds until he spoke again. One, two, three…
Ten “I don’t know”
The answer cut right through you as you let a stream of tears roll down your cheek, not lifting your head to look at him in the eyes. It wasn’t what you expected, it was way worse.
Calum noticed your crying and started panicking, spilling every thought he had through his mouth “I-I don’t- I was drunk and she was there with our groups of friends and we were too drunk to even take notice of what was happening and we just kissed and- Y/N, I’m not perfect. We weren’t perfect, we weren’t even official and it was only a kiss and I thought it would be okay but then the tabloids and your message and I just- And she’s a great friend, she didn’t mean any harm but things happened and-” He stammered, unable to connect his thoughts as he desperately tried to fix something so you would stop crying.
“For me it was perfect” You cried “We were perfect in my mind, you made it perfect. God, Calum. Why didn’t you tell me? I spent months in agony trying to figure it out, to make it make sense! I beat myself up over and over again and there you were having the time of your life with a stranger!” Your voice was loud, not enough to yell, but enough to make it clear that you were fuming.
“What are you talking about?!” Calum said matching the tone of your voice “I missed you every fucking day but there was nothing I could do about it! You don’t know shit of what you’re talking about!”
You scoffed “Oh yeah! It surely seemed like you missed me! You never called me once, Calum. Not even to apologize and try to make it better”
“I didn’t know how!” He said, “I was scared that-”
“That I’d hate you?”
“That you’d forgive me,” Calum said in one breath, making you stare in shock “I-I didn’t want you to forgive me, Y/N, cause you deserve so much better. On tour I realized that I wasn’t ready for a relationship, no matter how much you mean to me and I didn’t know how to tell you that so-”
“And are you ready now? That’s why you are with her?” You interrupted, head filled with anger to even think straight.
“I’m not ready to be with either of you!”
The room felt silent once again.
You had no answer to that and you weren’t sure you wanted to hear more from him.
The rain outside your window started to calm down, only droplets of water were left as the memory of the storm that almost was.
Your legs gave out a minute later, sliding you down slowly onto the floor. Calum walked up to you and sat next to you, neither of you saying anything for what it seemed like hours.
“You said you loved me…” You said with a faint voice.
Calum sighed “I did. I do”
“And you love her too?”
He thought about it “I don’t know. I might” You closed your eyes as a tear fell down your cheek “She’s good to me, Y/N. And we really got close but-”
“I know,” You said with a soft sniffle “We weren’t perfect either”
“You do know I love you, right?” He said softly, turning his face towards you “And that everything we had was real. Every minute of it, every word in every song was true and it still is. All was real and it’s still there somewhere. I still want you in my life, Y/N, cause you make it better. I just,” He sighed “I need to figure my shit out”
“Yeah, you do” You said, making him chuckle darkly “But I can’t promise I’ll be here”
“I wouldn’t ask you to”
You sat there in silence for a few more moments, just enjoying each other's company before everything fades away.
“I love you, too” You said in a whisper, hoping that he won’t hear “I still fucking love you”
Calum sighed “I know”
“Guess that you didn’t mean what you wrote on that song about me
‘Cause you said forever now I drive alone past your street”
.
Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @sarcasticallywitty15 @hoodhoran @flaneurcth h @notinthesameguey @myloverboyash @yeah-and69 @fckingpernico
* if your url is crossed please reach out to me so we can fix it
504 notes · View notes
wangxianficrecs · 3 years
Photo
Tumblr media
Fic Finder
~*~
1.  Hi, I'm looking for an Untamed fic, maybe you'll be able to help. It's a canon divergence AU in which WWX doesn't lose his core, Jiang Fengmian lives and it's implied that his core was transferred to JC (heavily implied; JFM retires as the Sect Leader after that). This is absolutely not the most important part of this fic but it's a paragraph that I've got stuck in my head and now I'm searching for the rest @_@ Thanks in advance! ~ @otemporaetmores
FOUND! by @notsobabblespace, who was reminded of  I’m aching and I know you are too by edenwolfie (part 3 in series, M, 23k, wangxian)
FOUND!  by @jim-is-spocks-thyla, who suggests ❤️ to arrive late is better than not to arrive at all by Moominmammashandbag (M, 35k, wangxian) [ETA:  Oops, not this one.  JFM has no core, but he didn’t give it to JC]
~*~
2.  Hi Mojo! I’m in need of you/your followers help in finding a fic that I read a little while ago. It was a fic where Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi lived together in Cloud Recesses and their children were Sizhui and an OOC that was younger than him. I remember SiZhui faced a lot of criticism for not being the chief cultivator’s real child? And they were happy he had a younger sibling that would be sect leader in the future because he was blood. Come to think of it, this is probably an ABO fic too. Thanks for your time 💜
FOUND! @andidontmeanto believes this is Blue Blood by PotterheadAvengerDemigod (T, 91k, wangxian, my post)
~*~
3.  Aksks it's like 3 am but I just remembered a fic and I can't find it?? I'd really, really appreciate your help. It was a wangxian fic, maybe a oneshot idk, and lwj was kind of a nerd and wwx a badboy? So basically lwj has a massive crush on him and dresses up like wwx etc. (i think he even got an undercut) and after a party they sleep with each other at lwj's place?
~*~
4.  i’m looking for a fic set in the where lwj’s mother killed his father? i don’t think that was a main plot point but it did show up in his backstory - any idea what this might be? ~ @thehype
FOUND!  @rentslirott thinks this could be ❤️the best of you by sysrae (E, 42k, wangxian, my post)
FOUND!  @castaways-logbook offers  The Right to Care by travelingneuritis (E, 39k, wangxian, WIP)
~*~
5.  ... same as #6 ...
~*~
6.  Hello friend, sorry for the inconvenience but I wanted to see if you could please find me a fic that I lost but I only remember more or less the final part, it goes more or less like this, lan zhan and wei ying are kidnapped by jin guangyao and lock them up if not I'm wrong in some cells next to lan xichen after the fights jin guangyao dies but lan xichen did know how bad jin guangyao had done and he didn't care and then to get revenge he wants to kill wei ying but lan zhan kills him and sizhui gets scared It was more or less like that, please help me ~ @isa0123lol
FOUND!  by @wangxiansfics who says that tragically it’s no longer available, but @dulachodladh found it on WaybackMachine here: Thread and Needle by haysel (M, 86k, wangxian)
~*~
7.  Hi, Mojo! I'm glad that you're back but I hope you enjoyed your time off tumblr! Can you and/or your followers help me find a fic? I think the summary was talking about wwx and somehow they were asking mingjue for help since he's the only one who can help. The summary was in italics and it's a dialogue from some guy? And a shorter summary below. Sadly this is the only thing I can remember but I hope you can still help me
FOUND!  @alwayswenning suggests love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, has it’s own fanfic here, I just finished this last night!, my bookmark)
~*~
8.  Sorry to bombard you as soon as you're back, but this one's driving me crazy--a modern AU where they met online. WWX thinks LWJ is an old man from how he talks. I don't remember much except the excerpt made it seem like he still was amused by/enjoyed talking to him, and Wen Qing was telling him it was a bad idea and to stop. It's not How to Fall In Love With a Catfish, tho that one is brilliant! (Also any top notch identity porn would be great) Hope your break was restful, you deserve it! Thanks
Here’s my #identity porn tag, but I’m not sure about this exact story.
I'm the anon for #8 on the fic finder. Though I'm excited to read it, the suggested fic isn't the one I was looking for. I swear I thought I saw it on here around a month ago or slightly more, but searches have failed me.
FOUND!  Rating: General Audiences by Mishaa (T, 18k, wangxian WIP) -  mysterious author LWJ (speculated to be an old man because of his formality) and infamous artist WWX paired up for an Untamed Big Bang (in an AU where JGY was the series’ antiheroic protagonist; this fic was written before the release of CQL.)
FOUND?  could you be looking for  Something Real by Latios (G, 5k, wangxian, my post) - wwx thinks lwj is an old man, but there’s no WQ.  There are many pictures of bunnies.
SIMILAR! @emilysidhe thought of ID Bro Saga by Bowandtie (T, 39k, wangxian)
~*~
9.  Hey, how are you? Could you help me please? I've read 3 fanfics once, but I can't find them anymore. 1 - Nanny Problem, Wei is going to be the babysitter of A-Yuan, he is an omega and Lan is an alpha. 2 - Doctor Perfect, Yibo is an omega nurse and Xiao is an alpha doctor. 3 - The Baby of my Omega, Yibo is omega and Xiao is alpha, both of them are bodyguards, but Yibo has to protect Xiao in the beginning. I think they were at ao3, but I really can't find them. Can you help me please? Thank you!! ~ @weallmad
~*~
10.  Hi! Im happy you’re back. I hope you had a good break. I missed your recommendations, but at the same time i got a break from fics and actually studied to my tests haha.  [Ah!  I’m glad to hear your time was spent productively!]  I’m looking for a fic like Linger in the Sun by etymologyplayground. In the fic im looking for wangxian slowly lose their senses instead of all of them at once. Like they lose their hearing, then touch, sight etc, They can’t see each other or hear each other. I’m sorry i can’t explain very well.
FOUND?  Could you be thinking of  ❤️shadows in the sun rise by Yuu_chi (E, 25k, wangxian)?  Only lwj losese his senses one by one in this one, though.
~*~
11.  heyyy im trying to find this fic where wwx died the first time he was thrown in to the burial mounds then 10 years later he gets resurrected or something. I can't find it on AO3 and it's been bugging me for days. Thank you!
FOUND!  Well, @moku-youbi offers both of these as possibilities:
Did I Not Explain Why the Sunset Turns Red? by 3988Akasha (E, 100k, wangxian)
we're starting at the end by Miss_Enthusiasimal (M, 95k, wangxian)
~*~
12.  Hi I am looking for a fic where wwx is a witch (/mage?) in a world where magic is being persecuted (especially in Gusu) except for Yunmeng/Lanling I think but they're still frowned upon nonetheless. Then after accidentally hurting Shijie, wwx runs away, and ends up hiding in Gusu pretending to be a servant to lwj (lwj is a prince, lxc is the emperor) but lwj actually knows of his identity and tries not-so-discreetly to protect him from being caught. Thanks!
FOUND! by @bibliobasilisk who gives us Witchfinder by misbehavingvigilante (E, 86k, wangxian)
~*~
13.  Hi! Firstly, I'm glad to see you're back, and I hope your break was a good one! I'm trying to find a LWJ/WWX story that I had planned to read and ending up losing before I could. It was set in the immediate aftermath of the 33 lashes, LWJ is in the Jingshi recovering when a healer(?) discovers he's pregnant (by WWX). It may have been a/b/o verse, but I'm not 100% on that. Part of the story was a flashback to when WWX was still alive. Thank you!
FOUND!  by nonny themself.  It’s Unexpected Surprise by Glucose_Gremlin (E, 4k, wangxian)
SIMILAR! @mondelgel suggests my heart is kept as pure as ice in a jade vase/一片冰心在玉壶 by Daledesu (M, 21k, wangxian, WIP)
SIMILAR! from @impending-cuttlefish:  something new, something white, something blue by ariskamalt (E, 140k, wangxian, WIP)
~*~
14.  I'm trying to find this one fic where Jin Ling finds this diary that Wei Ying wrote as the Yiling Patriarch that basically reveals everything, including the golden core reveal and it even has training tips that helps Jon Ling improve. When Wei Ying comes back, he tries everything to keep him there because he is THE best uncle now. I need to find it because it is a N E E D.
FOUND? by @theladypeartree who says, “The Truth (Untold) is jl reading jyl's journals, not wwx's though. And mordant is jl returning wwx's journals that he found, not grew up with. Neither fit #14 properly, but I seriously could not find anything closer after two solid days of searching. Good luck!“
The Truth (Untold) by anxiouswreck0_0 (g, 3k, wangxian, jin ling & wei wuxian)
or this one on ffn:
mordant by tennisnotensai (M, 18k, wangxian, here’s the link for mobile)
~*~
15.  I have heard tell of a Sizhui/Jingyi fic where the boys end up going to Wangxian for advice about how to be intimate. Can you help me find it?
FOUND!  @manaika-chan says this one is On Advisement by LaMachina17 (M, 19k, wangxian, zhuiling, chengyi)
~*~
16.  nm
~*~
17.  Hi! Sorry, do you happen to know that nsfw fic where wwx is still studying in the cloud recesses and he’s reading a novel (im not sure if it was from nhs) that features a cultivator couple and there’s a scene in the book where the woman was pegging her husband? Basically wwx got curious about this and tried fingering himself. I remember he was hiding in the back mountains and then lwj eventually caught him
FOUND?  Could you be thinking of  Deep in the Woods by malkinmalkout (E, 5k, wangxian, my post)?
~*~
18.  Ahhh I'm going crazy trying to think of a fic that I've read where Lan Zhan killed Wen Chao in a locker room and nie huaisang stood guard outside the door! Then lan zhan went to lan huan and said I killed someone and he said did they deserve it? Then it's fine. And I can't remember the name of the fic! Have you heard of it? ~ @uchihaautumn
FOUND! @artemisisdiana offers So Full Of Love (Wouldn't Know Where to Start) by witchupbitch (M, 54k, wangxian, WIP)
~*~
19.  Hi, I was wondering if you could help me find a fic. I read it a while ago and I don't really remember all the details but it was a modern au where Lan Wangji was a police officer in this small town and Wei Wuxian comes back after years, having left the town due to some stuff. Thank you in advance.
Btw love your blog. I live for your fic recs.  [Thank you!]
FOUND?  Could you be looking for medium blues by dark_and_terrible (E,193k,  wangxian)?  It appears to be taken down atm, but it might come back (it’s done it before).
FOUND! by @grannyweatherwaxshat who offers When a Bird Flies, It Leaves Feathers by Bem_Kofi (not rated, 75k, wangxian)
~*~
20.  Hi mojo!! First of all I luv your blog Thank you so much for all those ficrecs.  [You’re welcome!]  Actually I’m looking for a fic I read months ago. I probably found the fic from your blog. But I can’t seem to find it now 😢 it was a modern au wangxian fic (inspired by call me by ur name?) wwx was like 5 years older than lwj. (And lwj was like 16?) Wwx lives in another city but he spent around a year in cloud recesses with lwj in the past. And wwx yanli and jc visits cloud recesses again and wangxian gets 2gether
~*~
[My ko-fi.]
146 notes · View notes
astersofthesky · 3 years
Note
wait can you rec some of those canon compliant fics, I've been lookingg
I'm sorry for this late reply! I'm not sure what kind of canon compliant fics you're looking for because most of the things I read last night are mostly just one-shots related to the latest manga chapters.
If that's your cup of tea then here goes!
Wait for Me by SailorMew4
The moment Bakugou Katsuki found out Deku left U.A. he knew he needed to go after him. The nerd just needed to Wait for Him. Because Bakugou would go to hell and back to save that nerd from anything, including himself.
(Ch. 318 Spoilers, and a sorta prediction to Ch. 319)
message delivered by dekusneakers
Kacchan: i miss you [2:03am]
Kacchan: that was a typo [8:16am]
Kacchan: go fuck yourself [8:17am]
In which Katsuki grieves in the only way he knows how. With rage and double texting.
All We Ever Knew by dynamics
He knows, deeply and intimately, that these hands have innocent blood spilled on them. They've scarred and they've been cruel and they've caused hurt beyond anything deserving of forgiveness.
But these hands, as rough and calloused and war-torn and guilty as they are, can be gentle too.
Katsuki learns the true meaning of kindness and devotion.
Names by Juliame
"It's 'Bakugou', right?"
Katsuki felt himself slightly stiffen at those words.
──────────────
"Izuku..."
"... I'm sorry for everything I've done up until now."
Izuku felt his eyes slightly widen at those words.
It was like the world around them had come to a stop.
Katsukis and Izukus individual perspective on hearing the other say their actual name.
And that's all the latest manga chapters canon-compliant fics I've read. Anyway, since you asked, I would take this opportunity to recommend some of my favorite BkDk/DkBk fanfictions. Reminder though, I suggest you check the tags before reading.
Mirror Image by Eleke
After taking an attack meant for Deku, Bakugou Katsuki finds himself waking up in a world where he was never born with a Quirk, but Deku was. Then the next day, he wakes up in another world. And then the next day he wakes up in another. Each day he finds himself in another world, some only a little different from his own, some very different, but each one has one thing in common:
In every world, Midoriya Izuku is always right there.
(Notes: I still haven't finished reading this one but so far, it's really good! This has slight sexual content but nothing explicit)
Childhood Kisses by Kaligraphy
There are things you do that are cute when you're a kid but kind of weird when you're older.
Kissing your childhood friend's injuries better is one of them.
(Notes: Childhood Bkdk fluff because seriously, we need this kind of fics more)
Rescue me by kae_karo
What if baku and deku were like. actually friends when they were kids tho
(Notes: This is the only fic I found where Katsuki and Izuku stayed friends despite Izuku's quirklessness. I tell you, this is gold. The author wrote Katsuki amazingly and I can't really explain it too well. I highly recommend this one)
Baby Face by VersaceThong
A thick bloody gash runs from Deku’s right brow, across the bridge of his nose, over his cheek, and all the way down to the edge of his jaw. A sickening, jagged line etched diagonally over his face, wide enough to miss one of his eyes by mere milimeters.
He almost crashes into Deku, grabbing his arm in one hand and his face in the other. Katsuki’s index and thumb press into either side of his jaw, squishing Deku’s cheeks together.
With a voice so low he doesn’t recognize it as his own, Katsuki grinds out his words.
“Who did this to you?”
______________________________
Or; a villain leaves a scar on Deku's face and Katsuki absolutely loses it.
(Notes: I really like this one! The author has a way with their words and I also liked how they wrote Katsuki. Heads up, it has explicit sexual content at the end. TBH, I didn't expect this fic to have one so it really caught me by surprise lmao)
Like the Moon by Osakakitty
Katsuki Bakugo is having constant, erotic dreams about Izuku Midoriya. He isn’t sure why, but they won’t go away. In order to make them stop, he needs to figure out what Izuku Midoriya means to him.
Canon-verse story in which Bakugo is confused about his feelings for Midoriya, and doesn’t know what he wants. Besides a good night’s sleep.
(Notes: THIS. ONE. I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS FIC! Yes, it's obviously explicit but this has got to be one of the most emotional Bkdk/Dkbk fanfictions I've read on my stay in the BNHA fandom. It's very telling since this is like my second favorite Bkdk/Dkbk fic)
Kacchan vs. The Universe by LNoGame44
There were certain..tell-tale signs of a soul mate. There wasn't so much a definite factor, rather there were multiple giveaway signs that discretely pointed out that someone was your soul mate. Like a friendly hint from the soul.
Izuku was not gifted with that discrete notification from whatever higher being issued them. Of course his soul mate hit like a storm.
The thing was..Izuku knew exactly who his soul mate was. The two of them had known since they were kids. The extreme pull they felt for one another, that Izuku embraced and Bakugou..well Bakugou ignored or attempted to completely destroy. Apparently the universe, did not agree with Bakugou's methodologies.
(Notes: This one is so funny lmao. Seeing Katsuki struggle against the universe is very amusing and the second-hand embarrassment can get real.)
The Way You Used To Do by Edema_ruh
"We're really sorry," his father says, in a teary-eyed, wobbly way. "But your friend, Izuku, he's... He's gone, son."
Katsuki can do nothing but blink up at them for moments that feel like an eternity, eyes darting between both his parents in obvious confusion, disbelief, and, more than anything, indignation.
"What the fuck are you two talking about? The damn nerd is standing right beside you!"
During a battle, Midoriya gets hit by a villain whose quirk detaches his soul from his body. Stuck in a ghost-like state, the boy enters a race against time in order to save himself from permanently dying. Much to his luck - or lack of it -, the only person who can see and talk to him in this state is no one other than Kacchan.
Alternatively: Deku and Kacchan are soulbound.
(Notes: Here's my no. 1 favorite. You've probably heard this one because when Bkdk's ask for fic recs, this one always comes at the top. If you like the slowest of burns then I suggest you give this a try!)
70 notes · View notes
nim-lock · 3 years
Text
Art Career Tips, 2021 Edition
Here’s an edited version of my 2019 answered ask, because... this feels relevant. 
It is a problem of capitalism that folks equate their income as a judgement of their value as people; and let me preface. You are worth so much. You have inherent value in this world. Your income is not a judgement on who you are (plenty of billionaires are actively making the world worse). LARPing self-confidence will go a long way to helping you get paid more for your work, because clients will believe that you know what you are doing, and are a professional. 
& real quick—my own background is that I’ve been living off my art since 2018. I went to art school (Pratt Institute). I work in a publishing/educational materials sphere, and a quarter of my income is my shop. Not all of this information may apply to you, so it is up to you to look through everything with a critical eye, and spot pick what is relevant. 
So there are multiple ways of getting income as an artist; 
Working freelance or full-time on projects
Selling your stuff on a shop
Licensing (charging other companies to use your designs)
This post primarily covers the freelance part; if you’re interested in the other bits there is absolutely info out there on the internet. 
IF you are just starting (skip to next section if not applicable) dream big, draw often (practice helps you get better/more efficient), do your best to take "a bad piece” lightly. You’re gonna RNG this shit. At some point your rate of “good” works will get higher. Watch tutorial videos & read books. A base understanding of “the rules”; anatomy, perspective, composition, color helps you know what the rules are to break them. This adds sophistication to your work. One way you can learn this stuff is by doing “studies”—you’re picking apart things from life, or things other people have done, to see what works, and how it works. 
Trying to turn your interests into a viable career means that you are now a SMALL BUSINESS; it really helps to learn some basic marketing, graphic design, figure out how to write polite customer service emails; etc. You can learn some of this by looking it up, or taking skillshare (not sponsored) classes by qualified folks. Eventually some people may get agents to take care of this for them—however, I do recommend y’all get a basic understanding of what it takes to do it on your own, just so you can know if your agent is doing a good job. 
Making sure your portfolio fits the work you want to get
Here is a beginner portfolio post. 
Research the field you’d like to get into. The amount people work, the time commitment, the process of making the thing, the companies & people who work for them. 
Create work that could fit in to the industry you’re breaking into. For example, if you want to do book cover illustration, you draw a bunch of mockup book covers, that can either be stuff you make up, or redesigns of existing books. If you’re not 100% sure what sort of work is needed for the industry, loop back into the portfolios of artists in a similar line of work as whatever you’re interested in, and analyze the things they have in common. If something looks to be a common project (like a sequence of action images for storyboard artists), then it’s probably something useful for the job. 
CLIENTS HIRE BASED ON HOW WELL THEY THINK YOUR WORK FITS WHAT THEY WANT. If they’re hiring for picture books, they’re gonna want to see picture book art in your portfolio, otherwise they may not want to risk hiring you. Doesn’t have to be 100% the project, but stuff similar enough. If you aren’t hired, it doesn’t mean your work is bad, it just wasn’t the right fit for that specific client. 
If you have many interests, make a different section of your portfolio for each!
Making sure you’re relevant 
Have a social media that’s a little more public-facing, and follow people in the career field you’re interested in. Fellow artists, art directors, editors, social media managers; whoever. Post on your own schedule. 
Interact with their posts every so often, in a non-creepy way. 
If you’ve made any contacts, great! Email these artists, art directors, editors, former professors, etc occasional updates on your work to stay in touch AND make sure that they think about you every so often.
Show up to general art events every once in a while! If you keep showing up to ones in your area (when... not dying from a sneeze is a thing), folks will eventually start to remember you. 
Industry events & conferences can be pricey, so attend/save up for what makes sense for you. Industry meetups are important for networking in person! In addition to meeting people with hiring power, you also connect with your peers in the community. Always bring a portfolio & hand out business cards like candy. 
Active job hunting
Apply to job postings online.
If interested in working with specific people at specific companies, you could send an email “I’d love to work with you, here’s my portfolio/relevant experience”, even if they aren’t actively looking for new hires. Be concise, and include a link to your work AND attached images so the person reading the email can get a quick preview before clicking for more. 
Twitter job postings can be pretty underpaid! Get a copy of the Graphic Artists’ Guild Handbook Pricing & Ethical Guidelines to know your rate. I once had a twitter post job listing email me back saying that other illustrators were charging less, and I quote, “primarily because they’re less experienced and looking for their first commission”. This was not okay! For reference, this was a 64-illustration book. The industry rate of a children’s book (~36 pages) is $10k+, and this company’s budget was apparently $1k. For all of it. 
Congrats you got a job! Now what?
Ask for like, 10% more than they initially offer and see if they say yes. If they do, great! If not, and the price is still OK, great! Often company budgets are slightly higher than they first tell you, and if you get this extra secret money, all the better for you. 
Make sure you sign a contract and the terms aren’t terrible (re: GO GET THE  Graphic Artists’ Guild Handbook Pricing & Ethical Guidelines) 
Be pleasant and easy to work with (Think ‘do no harm but take no shit’)
Communicate with them as much as needed! If something’s going to be late, tell them as soon as you know so they aren’t left wondering or worse, reaching out to ask what’s up. 
And if all goes well, they’ll contact you about more jobs down the line, or refer you to other folks who may need an artist, etc. 
Quick note about online shops/licensing and why they’re so good
It’s work that you do once, that you continuously make money off of. Different products do well in different situations (conventions vs. online, and then further, based on how you market/the specific groups you are marketing to), so products that may not do well initially may get a surge later on. 
Start with things that have low minimum order quantity and are relatively cheap to produce, like prints and stickers. 
If you are not breaking even, go back to some of the earlier portions of this and think about how you could tweak things as a small business. Ease of access is also very important with this; for example, if you only take orders through direct messages, that immediately shuts off all customers who don’t like talking to strangers. 
Quick resource that you could look through; it’s the spreadsheet of project organizing that I made a while back 
Licensing is when people pay you for the right to use your work on stuff they need to make, like textbooks or greeting cards. This is generally work you’ve already made that they are paying the right to use for a specified time or limited run of products. This is great because you’ve already done the work. I am not the expert on this. Go find someone else’s info.
“I am not physically capable of working much”/ “I need to pay the bills”
Guess who got a hand injury Sept 2020 that messed me up that entire month! I had a couple jobs going at the time that I was terrified of losing, but they were quite understanding when I told them I needed to heal. So:  Express your needs as early as you know you need them. Also do lots of stretches and rest your hands whenever you feel anything off; this will save your health later. Like, the potential of a couple months of no income was preferable over losing use of my hands for the rest of my life.
This continues to apply if you have any other life situation. Ask for extra time. Ask for clarification. If you tell people ahead of time, folks are often quite understanding. Know how much you are capable of working and do your best not to overdo it. (I am.. bad at this)
Do what MAKES SENSE for your situation. If doing art currently earns you less money than organizing spreadsheets, then do that for now, and whenever you have the energy, break down some of the tips above into actionable tiny chunks, and slowly work at em. 
The original ask I got in 2019 mentioned ‘knowing you’re not good enough yet’. Most artists experience imposter syndrome & self-doubt—the important thing is to do your best, and if anything, attempt to channel the confidence of a mediocre white man. If he can apply to this job/charge hella money for Not Much, then so can you! 
Check out this Art Director tumblr for more advice!
Danichuatico’s Literary Agent guide
Kikidoodle’s Shop Shipping Tutorial
Best of luck!
Once again disclaimer this post is just the ramblings of a man procrastinating on other things that need to be done. I’ve Long Posted my own post so that it turns into mush in my brain if I try to read it, but I wrote this so I should know this content. If you got down here, congrats. Here’s a shrimp drawing.
Tumblr media
Yee Ha. 
My reference post tag My tip jar
245 notes · View notes
angelsfalling16 · 2 years
Note
do you have any fic recs set before established relationship where baz kisses simon first?? theres a severe lack of those fics in this fandom.
Tbh, I don’t read snowbaz fics very often, so this was a little difficult to answer, but not wanting to leave you with nothing, I went in search of some fics where Baz kisses Simon first. Sadly, even after scanning through over 6 pages of “first kiss” fics, I only found two. That was when I realized just how much this fandom was lacking those fics, which is rather unfortunate.
However, I am hopeful that there are fics that I didn’t find, so if anyone else has some recs, please add them to this post!
Here are the two that I found, with the summaries:
The Treasure by Zirijava (1.5k, T)
The Christmas Ball at Watford is coming up and an odd looking map was left for Simon, but what will he find at the "x"?
You’ve Got Leaves in Your Hair by @gampyre (1.8k, T)
A pile of leaves plays matchmaker to two idiots in love
I wasn’t planning on recommending my own fics, but since those two were all I found, here are the ones that I found that I wrote. (It’s still not a lot compared to the number of fics I’ve written, but it’s something.)
Friends Don’t French Kiss (30k, T)
Simon and Baz have one of their many arguments, but this time, it ends with them going on fake dates and trying to compete to see who would make a better boyfriend.
(Fair warning: it’s a bit of a slowburn with a sequel, but Baz does eventually kiss Simon first)
Let It Snow (3.9k, T)
Prompt: we always carpool home for the holidays from college but a storm hit and now we’re taking the last room at the local b&b (bonus: bedsharing! we’re adults!)
A Cute Bodyguard and Only One Bed (2k, T)
Prompt: There’s only one bed and we sleep as far away as possible from each other but wake up cuddling + You’re my new bodyguard and you’re cute.
Baz is hired as Simon's bodyguard, which is not the easiest of tasks, especially when Simon keeps trying to lose him.
The Ugly Christmas Sweater (1k, T)
Prompt: “How much for the ugly Christmas sweater?”
Magic and Mistletoe (877 words, T)
Prompt: “Person A tries to get their friends to kiss under the mistletoe, and they completely forget about their crush on Person B until they both end up under the mistletoe.”
An Awkward Dinner and A Gentle Kiss (934 words, T)
Prompt: my family invites you to join our holiday meal as an obvious setup and i’m so sorry
The Family You Choose (2.5k, G)
Baz is hurting after something that his father said to him, and Simon is there to comfort him.
Heated Gaze (3k, T)
Baz dreams of a future with Simon but knows that he can never have what he wants. But when Simon starts acting strangely, Baz begins to wonder if he was wrong.
I won’t say I’m in love (1.7k, T)
Prompt: “You said you wouldn’t fall in love with me.” “I lied.”
Almost Gone (1.9k, G)
Trigger Warning: self-harm
Simon Snow doesn't want to be the chosen one anymore, and Baz doesn't know how to help him.
I hope this is what you were looking for, nonnie! Sorry I couldn’t find much <3 (Also, I feel like “baz kisses simon first” should become an ao3 tag, and I might go and put it on these fics as well as future fics)
41 notes · View notes
hargrieve · 3 years
Text
hargrieve's fic recs — june
oh man I started a new full-time job this month and I have been busy. meaning that I haven’t been reading as much fic as I would like, which is a little disappointing
one of my favorite things about fandom that I’ve been doing more and more recently is getting to follow and actually get to interact with so many of these wonderful authors!! if you like any of the authors and have an account on twitter dot com, I highly recommend following them to get a sense of their inspirations and behind-the-scenes process!
obligatory @ravenclawboys​ tag :)
FANDOMS: HAIKYUU!!
oof ouch owie:
THE HUMAN CONDITION by mcbeefy (twitter)
sakuatsu; rated T+; 24k words; 1/1
sex-averse asexual atsumu
as someone who is ace-spec, this really really hits. I don’t have much else to say but this was absolutely spectacular. I wanted to shake atsumu so hard though BOY YOU DESERVE LOVE
this hour and what is dead by spanish_sahara (twitter)
atsuhina; rated T+; 8.2k; 1/1
atsumu after hinata goes back to brazil. an introspection on heartbreak and healing, ft. the people in atsumu’s life who are still here for him at his lower points
this k worded me. I am dead bye I felt so many feelings
touched down by Togaki (twitter)
sunaosa; rated M; 20k words; 1/1
after high school, osamu loses his way. and then finds his way again
it is touching and devastating and quite hopeful at the end. osamu really goes through a whole journey here re: his growing up and finding his way out of a hole, and I really enjoyed the progression
more light-hearted:
do me a favour (break my nose) by leafpile (twitter)
kuroo/daishou; rated T+; 7.1k; 1/1
kuroo breaks daishou’s nose. they sit in an emergency room for a few hours
author manages to convey with pinpoint accuracy the exact liminal feeling of being in an emergency room for undefined periods of time
eggceeding expectations by asynchrony (twitter)
msby and adlers; rated Gen; 1.9 words; 1/1
msby black jackals and schweiden adlers have a timed egg-eating competition. that’s it that’s the fic
social media fic. writer is good at making ao3 look like social media
even the score by mementokomori (twitter)
sunaosa; rated Gen; 1.5k words; 1/1
osamu. as an assassin. that’s all
very very fun, plus a surprising cameo
recs from other people:
a dawn in arles by lostsunsets
atsuhina; rated E; 24k; 2/2
summary: “The AU where Hinata is a museum curator, and Atsumu is a struggling artist trying to escape the rat race, and together they navigate the price of dreams.”
lists and lies and likes by Togaki
akagin; rated T+; 4.6k words; 1/1
another entry from Togaki this month, who wROTE ME THIS WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY FIC. I’m putting this under “other recs” though bc this is what my friend dani said when I asked her what she’d recommend
summary: “Michinari was unprepared for the consequences when he innocently wrote down a list of who the third years would bang in their club.Now — all the second years know. And more importantly, Ginjima knows Michinari would totally bang him. Hypothetically.”
Your Money And/Or Your Life by suspiciousflashlight
daisuga; rated T+; 11k words; 1/1
summary: “By the time Sugawara is twenty-nine, he's worked out the perfect way to profit financially off an easy marriage scam. By the time Sugawara is thirty, marriage ends up scamming him right back.”
my twitter
past fic recs
send me a rec!
129 notes · View notes
gretchensinister · 2 years
Text
9 people I want to get to know better:
Tagged by @plush-anon and I am so glad for the procrastination opportunity 
favourite colour: Purple! Anyway here’s something I may be misremembering from childhood. There was this VHS I had called Wee Sing In Sillyville and it was basically children’s songs connected with a loose plot about a land of colors (people wearing all of one color outfits, red, green, yellow, etc.) except that they didn’t get along with or talk to each other anymore and the character the story followed was trying to get them to get along again, I think? And most of the colors were big groups of people, but the Purple Lady was one old lady in an all-purple outfit and she was the only one who agreed with the main character that the colors should get along and work together again and I was like ‘wow wise old purple lady.’ (Also in this the main character was colorful at the beginning and then SOMETHING happened and all the colors in her outfit went away and IDK if the story said it but I KNEW she was DYING. And then all the color groups were like ‘oh no what do we do we liked her when she visited us’ and purple lady was like ‘you need to work together’ and they gave her colors back by tying pieces from their own outfits to main character’s outfit and then she came back to life and was colorful again. And the colors started talking to each other again. I think! I cannot emphasize enough that this was a preschool/kindergarten-aimed story/song collection of the kind that kids lose interest in quickly outside of that age group, so I don’t remember it that well! EXCEPT at some point as an adult I was hit by the memory of this like a ton of bricks, because I think this was my first example of “unifying the elements is the correct answer/these things should never have been separated in the first place” in a story. Before The Dark Crystal (also importantly purple…hmm [hmmmMMMmmmm—I mean—]) for sure. And then I wrote essentially an epic fantasy novel with that as a huge theme. 
currently reading: 1) Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir—I hadn’t read anything else by him before and I love it? It’s for an SFF book club and I would never have picked it up if not for that because honestly I was making a lot of assumptions about what kind of science fiction by men gets popular and what kind of characters I’d see in such a book. Well, I was wrong. 2) Dragonflight by Anne McCaffrey—Admittedly I’m only at the beginning of this one but there seems to be ‘some people are just better than others because of birth’ baked into the foundation of the story and I’M STRUGGLING. There’s also already been plenty of times when I have asked myself “why would you, a woman, write women like this?” Also epithets all over the place. But then again without the epithets I’m bombarded by apostrophes. (I’m sure in the past 54 years someone has said something like this but this is my OC F’lan, he rides a caramel custard colored dragon and everyone thinks he’s sweet and loves him.) 3) Dawnshard by Brandon Sanderson—I would call it bonus material for The Stormlight Archives. That series BTW is a massive page commitment so like, enter at your own risk? 4) Why Are Faggots So Afraid of Faggots? Flaming Challenges to Masculinity, Objectification, and the Desire to Conform edited by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore—Essays by a wide range of queer people with a wide range of relationships to masculinity, I recommend this to anyone who wants to understand more about the breadth of what queerness encompasses. 
last song: Not sure what song I listened to last, but I currently have Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes stuck very completely in my head, so that’s what I’ll answer with. 
last movie: Annihilation. I love this movie. This time watching it I was drawn to the way the person in the old camp who was taken over by fungus is positioned on the wall in one of those ambiguous martyrdom/ecstasy poses. 
last series: Star Trek: TOS, which I only recently realized was available to borrow from the library. Get a library card and make sure you have something to play discs with, people. The library wants you to have access to as much free stuff as possible. Streaming services DON’T. Piracy is fine for big titles but the process of protecting my computer from viruses and/or removing a virus is something that’s an intimidating problem for me. Placing a library hold on a DVD is easy, legal, and free.   
sweet, spicy or savoury: Savory, though it’s not as if I dislike the others. Speaking of savory things, though, here’s a very simple savory snack which may mark me as some kind of gremlin but anyway: There’s this stuff called Better Than Bouillon, which you can find at the grocery store with the other bouillon/stock/soups, it comes in a little jar and it’s like a bouillon paste, which you’re supposed to use like bouillon cubes. Well, get that, in the roasted vegetable flavor. Then butter a piece of bread really thickly, THEN take just a little Better Than Bouillon and use the butter knife to work it into the butter until it’s like the butter got a noticeable tan. SO savory. Don’t do this if you’re concerned about your salt intake tho. 
coffee or tea: Coffee, for sure. It’s a treat and not an everyday thing for me, caffeine will reliably do things to my energy levels that I don’t want it to. You know, I think it might be the idea of a hot drink as a treat that makes me care less for tea? I can’t make a latte or a mocha at home, but in my area, home, chain coffee shop, independent coffee shop, any level of café or restaurant, any tea you get is going to be just the tea bag plonked in a cup of hot water. That doesn’t feel special! It means I have to decide when to take the tea bag out and then I have to deal with a wet tea bag and I don’t want this (no matter how fancy the tea bag is). I only want to be served tea by someone who knows significantly more about tea than I do. 
And now to tag. I think I’ll tag my nine most recent followers that seem to be real. Who are you all? This blog is not cohesively themed these days. So:
@retrocolaslasher
@scrunkley
@zoeloveconvers99
@stardewfarmboy
@creativemachine
@magicalbloke
@capulet4t
@aferalsquirrel
  @houseofflies
9 notes · View notes
wrenhyperfixates · 3 years
Text
Opening Night
Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: When Loki scores the lead in a production of West Side Story, the two of you become fast friends. You help convince him to face his fears and invite the Avengers to see the show. Warnings: a bit of innuendo, fluffy, and extremely self-indulgent A/N: It isn’t necessary to know the plot of West Side Story to read this, but I still recommend you guys check it out. They made it into a movie that’s pretty much the same as the stage version. And if you’re interested in the songs I used in this, they’re here and here. Also, idk if this is common knowledge, but a stage manager is the person in charge of tech, set changes, and all that jazz. Theater has always been a huge part of my life, so I definitely wrote this with myself in mind but I hope you can all enjoy too!
Permanent Tag List: @lucywrites02​​ @frostedgiant​​ @lunarmoon8​​ @twhiddlestonsstuff​​ @lokistan​​ @lowkeyorlokificrecs​​ @gaitwae​​ @whatafuckingdumbass​​ @castiels-majestic-wings​​ @kozkaboi​​ @cozy-the-overlord​​ @birdgirl90​​ @myraiswack​​​ @mythicalgarlicknot​​ @what-a-flammable-heart​ @mlqcikemenmc​
Tumblr media
Disclaimer: Picture not mine.
He looked so beautiful up there on that stage, you thought. He almost didn’t get the part either; Auggie, the director, had been worried that putting the God of Mischief in the lead role would be bad for business. You’d fought for him, though, and you’d been right; tickets were nearly sold out once people found out an Avenger was performing. Besides that, Loki was extremely talented, and you were certain no one else could have carried the role quite so well as he had been. It was a definite plus that he had become a very close friend, too. And you maybe, just maybe, had a tiny crush on him.
“It’s getting late,” you said once he finished singing, applauding as you walked out of the wings. Everyone else had already gone home, so it was just you and Loki. He’d wanted to stay and practice a bit more, and as stage manager, you had to stay to lock the place up. “Are you ready to head out?”
He looked out at the empty seats in the audience of the community theater. You wondered why he hadn’t tried out for off-Broadway, or even Broadway itself; he was certainly talented enough. Somehow, he didn’t see it. You could still remember the look of excitement on his face when you officially met him for the first time. How he’d told you he hadn’t been expecting the lead role. It hadn’t been what he’d tried out for, after all. You assured him that in this production of West Side Story, it was a clear choice who should play Tony. Him. Your friendship moved rapidly after that.
“I do not know, darling,” he replied. “Opening night is this week, and I want to make sure I am as good as I can be. If you would like to lock up and leave, I can just teleport home.”
“No. If you’re staying, I’m staying.” He smiled as you put your bag down and sat on one of the wooden blocks you’d painted weeks before. “Don’t you think you should give your voice a break, though?”
“Ah you forget darling, I have the stamina of a god,” he replied with a wink. You averted your eyes, hating where your mind went after that statement. “Besides, I have been resting it at home.”  
“Fine, but I swear if you lose your voice, I’m not helping you break the news to Auggie,” you giggled.
He chuckled, “Fair enough, darling.”
Convinced that he could handle it, you let him play the track and start singing. As he practiced his part from the Quintet, he walked over and knelt before you. You were certain the expression of complete adoration on his face was just good acting, but it still made your heart flutter. As the music crescendoed, he stood up and offered you his hand, taking you to center stage. He kept singing to you the whole time, his hand coming to caress your cheek as was dictated by his choreography. Again, you knew that’s all it was, but the butterflies in your stomach didn’t care.
As the song ended, he didn’t immediately move to turn off the music like he usually did. Instead, he stood where he was a minute more, one hand cupping your cheek, the other on your waist. A kiss most certainly wasn’t supposed to happen here, but you swore he started to lean in towards you. Afraid to break the spell, you didn’t say anything. When the next song started playing, he came out of whatever trance he was in and moved back, clearing his throat.
“Sorry,” he apologized, the faintest of blushes coloring his cheeks. “I just got lost in the song, I suppose.”
“Oh, uh, yeah,” you replied, rocking back and forth on your heels, disappointed. “It’s fine, I totally get it.”
After turning off all the lights, the two of you finally left, stopping for a coffee on the way home, as had become tradition. You laughed as he told you a story of his childhood on Asgard, animatedly waving his hand about. Waiting for a light at a crosswalk, your phone chimed, and you checked it.
“Shoot. I got to go, Loki,” you informed him. “The copy place finished with the playbills, and I should run to pick them up before it closes. I don’t wan’t to hold you up, though.”
“Nonsense,” he said, changing direction to walk back the way you’d came. “It would be my honor to accompany you.”
You made it just in time to pick up the box, which was heavy enough that you swallowed your pride and let Loki carry it. Since it was cheaper to just fold and staple the pages yourself, you had quite a bit of work ahead of you. Sure, you’d get the rest of the crew to help you tomorrow, but you wanted to get a jump start tonight. You told Loki as much when you’d started the trek back in the direction of your apartment, and his answer surprised you.
“Why not come to the Tower? I can help you put them together,” he offered.
“Oh,” you replied, the butterflies in your stomach returning. “I wouldn’t want to impose.”
“It would be no trouble to have you, darling. Really.” It was already dark out, making it hard to see, but you were pretty sure he was blushing again. “It is much closer than your home. Of course, there is no pressure to say yes.”
You shyly smiled at him. “Thank you, Loki. That’s very generous. I would love to come.”
The smile he gave you could have lit up the whole city, it was so bright. It was probably silly to be so happy that you could make his face light up like that, but you couldn’t help it. That was when you realized that your little crush had turned into something much, much more. You were falling in love with him. You were convinced it was unrequited though, so you wouldn’t say anything. You just hoped that you’d stay in touch once the show was done and rehearsals stopped.
Everyone knew of Avenger Tower, of course, but few had ever been inside. You marveled at the massive lobby as he led you to a private elevator that said “Avengers Only”. It made sense, you thought, that they should have their own if they lived here. And of course it was so high tech that it had to scan his eye to start working. He chuckled a little at the amazement on your face, thinking you looked absolutely adorable.
“Ok,” he whispered as you stepped out of the lift. “I am sure most of the team is asleep by now, so if we just slip past and-”
“Brother!” Thor boomed, cutting off Loki. “There you are! You’ve been gone all day- Oh. And who is this?” he asked, noticing you.
You introduced yourself, and Thor shook your hand with a firm grip. Even though you’d already known Loki for months now, you were still freaking out a little at meeting another Avenger. Really, how many civilians could say they knew not one, but two superheroes? You nearly lost it when Iron Man and Black Widow rounded the corner.
“Hey, Reindeer Games. You made a friend,” Mr. Stark said. Then he wiggled his eyebrows and added, “Or maybe something more.”
“Oh, shove off, Tony,” Nat said, flicking the side of his head. “You’re ridiculous.”
You introduced yourself to the newcomers, and they asked you to call them by their first names. The only other time you’d been this star struck was, unsurprisingly, when Loki had shown up at the audition. You looked over at Loki, who seemed rather uncomfortable. Though you wanted to chalk it up to him just being nervous his two worlds were colliding, you could tell there was something more to it. You worried for a second that he was embarrassed of you, but you didn’t really think it was that either, certain that notion was just your insecurity getting the better of you.
“Well, we should be going then,” Loki said, ready to retreat to his room.
“Oh, come on,” Tony replied. “That’s no fun. Why don’t you guys join us for a drink in the kitchen?”
You were tempted to say yes, but Loki shifted the box in his hands, reminding you of why you were there in the first place. Besides, if Loki wasn’t feeling up to it, you didn’t want to subject him to socializing. Not to mention an evening alone with him sounded absolutely magical.
“No, it’s fine,” you answered, and Loki sent you an appreciative smile. “We’ve got work to do, anyway.”
“Oh?” Thor questioned. “Does it happen to have something to do with the mystery box my brother is carrying?”
“Actually, yes,” you told him with a smile. “See, they’re playbills for-”
“For the show that they are a stage manager for,” Loki interjected, looking absolutely panicked. “That is all. No more questions needed.”
“Oh, that’s so exciting!” Nat smiled. “Are the tickets available yet? Can we come see it?”
“No, sorry, it is sold out,” Loki replied before you could, an expression of utter befuddlement on your face. “Maybe next time. Now, as we said, we have work to do. Alone.”
“Hey, it’s alright, Reindeer Games,” Tony said, winking, and ushered the others away. “I get what you’re saying. You two kids have fun now.”
Loki’s face was burning from embarrassment as he led you to his quarters. Your mouth dropped open at the sheer size of it. You guessed that after the lobby it shouldn’t have surprised you. Besides how vast it was, it somehow screamed Loki. The green furniture with black and gold accents. The numerous floor to ceiling bookshelves that didn’t have a single inch unoccupied. The carefully crafted decor, often featuring snakes subtly carved into it. And you were completely surrounded by his scent that you could never exactly figure out, but was very distinctly his.
You were brought back to reality by the light thud of the box on a table. As you walked toward him, Loki kept his eyes averted, focusing on taking the stacks of paper out. Standing beside him, you worked in silence for a few minutes until you couldn’t take it anymore, and finally had to ask what was on your mind.
“So, uh, what exactly was all that about?” you inquired.
“Oh, they are just very animated people,” he replied with a shrug. “And Stark is, well, Stark, so he has basically no filter. I am very sorry if they bothered you, darling.”
“That’s very sweet, Loki, but I didn’t mind it at all, actually,” you replied, folding the first playbill together. He snapped his fingers and a couple of staplers appeared on the table. “That’s not really what I was talking about, though.”
“Oh? Whatever did you mean then?”
“Please don’t play dumb,” you begged. The light clicks from the stapler filled the silence of the room as you waited for him to reply. When he didn’t say anything, you sighed. “I mean, why didn’t you say you had the lead in the show that these are for? In fact, why haven’t you told them about it already?”
He shrugged and made a noncommittal mumble, focusing on the repetitive task in hopes of distracting himself. You stopped working in favor of resting your hand atop his. It made Loki stop, too, and he finally looked you in the eye.
“Look,” you began. “You obviously don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to; I understand, and I’d never want to pressure you into something that would make you uncomfortable. But I know you bottle a lot of things up, and that’s not really healthy. So if you do want or need to talk... I don’t know, I guess I just want you to know that I’m here for you.”
Then you hugged him. The simple action seemed to startle him so much that you feared it was unwanted and you’d been too forward. But when he hugged you back, you could feel the gratitude in his embrace, easing your worries. It was like he was holding onto you for dear life. As if you you were a lifesaver, and he was adrift at sea. It was a tense sort of desperation leaving his body, you realized, as he sank against your touch. You gently rubbed his back as his head nuzzled into the crook of your neck. You’d always thought he might be touch starved, but now you could feel it in the way he practically molded his body against yours, obviously trying to make the most of the contact. You wondered if that may have something to do with why he kept West Side Story a secret. Maybe he’d been neglected too many times in his life, now thinking the things he does don’t matter to anyone.
“I suppose I am just scared, darling. Scared that they would not want to come, that they would make fun of me, that I would fail in front of them,” he sighed. “Perhaps it is silly. I am sorry.”
“Oh, Loki, there’s no need to apologize. I meant what I said, I’m here for you.” You didn’t think it was possible, but he held you even closer. “Everyone gets stage fright from time to time. And you’ve never even performed before. Whatever the reason, it’s still perfectly valid and understandable.”
“Thank you, darling,” he sniffled, and you realized he was crying.
Leading him over to the couch, you sat and continued to hold him. You whispered and cooed calming things in his ear. He tried to apologize for the tear stains marking your shirt, but you were having none of that. Everyone deserved a good crying session every once in a while, and you told him as much, encouraging him to let it out.
“Better?” you asked, wiping away the last few tears from his cheeks when he did finally calm down. There were some stray locks of hair sticking to his wet face, and you brushed them away, too.
“Mhm,” he nodded. He looked so fragile in this moment that you wished there was something more you could do to help him. “Thank you so much, darling. I think I needed that.”
You were worried that kissing the tip of his nose would be too intimate an action, but you couldn’t help yourself. You were very happy when he preened under the attention. “You’re very welcome, Loki.”
“I must ask, you are not going to tell them, are you? That I have the lead, I mean.”
“Well, no.” You ran your fingers through his hair as he sighed in relief. “But you should.”
“Do I have to?” he asked, giving you puppy dog eyes that made you chuckle a bit.
“I mean, it’s not required. I think you’d feel better if you did, though.”
“I suppose.”
“From what I can see, they love you, Loki,” you comforted him. “They’re your family, don’t you think?”
“How is it that you always know what to say?” he smiled up at you.
“I guess I’m just magic,” you laughed. He made to get up, but it seemed like it was a chore to tear himself away from you. You gently pulled him back down to you. “You don’t have to get up. You know, if you don’t want to.”
“I do not, but we hardly put any of the playbills together.” Even as he said that, he cuddled into your side. “I feel guilty taking up all our time.”
“Believe it or not, I’m perfectly happy to spend our time like this,” you reassured him, reaching for a blanket and covering your bodies with it. You’d been so concerned about Loki’s well-being that you hadn’t really contemplated the situation you were in. Now you couldn’t help but wonder if this snuggling was a normal thing for friends to do, or if it were a sign of something more. “I’d much rather help you through whatever’s on your mind than put together some playbills. There’s still plenty of time for that.”
“Thank you again, darling,” he hummed as both of you began to doze off, tired from a long day of run-throughs. As sleep claimed you, though you felt it must have been a dream, you swore you heard him whisper, “I love you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The rest of the week leading up to opening night was so hectic, you barely even had a second to dwell on that night with Loki. It was probably better that way, for if you had thought too hard about that morning, waking up in each other's arms, you were certain your heart would burst from happiness. So, no, it was better that you were focusing on the show.
“Guess who, darling,” Loki whispered in your ear as you reviewed the script in the wings, making sure everything was set for top of show.
“Loki,” you smiled, spinning to face him and throwing your arm around his shoulders. One of his arms encircled your waste. When you stepped back, his other came around from behind his back to present you with a bouquet of flowers. “Thank you so much! I actually have something for you, too.”
You grabbed the arrangement that you’d bought and gave it to him. You nearly melted under his soft gaze as he expressed his thanks. His makeup was already done, accentuating his already striking beauty. A large part of you wanted to lean forward and kiss his plump, pink lips.
“I have some news,” he declared. “I have told my fellow Avengers about the show. Sort of.”
“Sort of?” you asked, cocking your head.
“Well, I left tickets and a note for them to come tonight.” He nervously shifted his weight. “They do not yet know that they will be watching me perform, though. It was too hard to tell them, so I figured why not show them?”
You beamed at him. “That’s wonderful! I’m so proud of you. You’re going to do amazing.”
There was a slight hesitation behind his eyes, as if he was contemplating something very carefully. “Darling, there is something I have to tell you.”
“Yes?”
Just as he opened his mouth to speak again, the director burst into the wings. “There you are, Loki. I’ve been looking all over for you. Mic checks in five,” he said.
“My apologies, Auggie,” he replied before turning to you and resting a hand on your arm. “We’ll talk later, ok? Have a good show.”
“Thanks. Break a leg,” you nodded as he left, agonized by not knowing what he was going to tell you. You noticed Auggie giving you a look. “What?”
“I swear, you two better kiss before this week is over,” he muttered, leaving the wings shaking his head.
The remainder of the day passed in a blur, and you could hardly believe that it was already time for the show. You’d peeked out before it started and noticed the Avengers sitting in the front row. Those tickets had been sold out for weeks, and you smiled, realizing that Loki had wanted to invite them all along. He just needed a little push to actually do it.
Before Loki walked out onto the stage, you gave his hand a little squeeze. Despite how nervous you knew he was, he gave his best performance yet. After his first song was done, you glanced out at the audience to see the Avengers already giving him a standing ovation. You could see in his eyes how taken aback he was. He waited around in the wings until your set change was done so you could share in his joy. He gave you a quick, tight hug, absolutely radiant.
The rest of the show went perfectly, and Loki stunned the audience every time he stepped on stage. You were beyond happy for him, especially when he received thundering applause during bows. He came and hugged you again as soon as you finished closing the curtain.
“Loki, you were amazing,” you told him.
“Thank you, darling. And your set changes were flawless,” he complimented you in return. “I cannot believe the first show is done already.”
The two of you talked for a minute more before he had to go change out of his costume. You looked out from the stage a little bit later to see the Avengers hugging him and giving him more flowers than you could count. Even from a distance, you could see happy tears welling in his eyes. It made you grin uncontrollably to see him happy like that.
Later that night, you’d told the rest of the cast and crew to go ahead to the diner to celebrate without you, that you’d catch up later. You wanted to stay behind and touch-up a set piece that some paint had slightly chipped off of. Suffice it to say, you were a little startled when a voice cut through what you had presumed to be an empty theater.
“Always you. Every thought I’ll ever know,” Loki began singing his part from Tonight, walking down the aisle towards the stage. “Everywhere I go, you’ll be. All the world is only you and me.”
You chuckled as he ascended the stairs and took your paintbrush from your hand, setting it down on the tarp. He skipped to his next part in the song and began twirling you around the stage. After hearing so many rehearsals, you knew the words by heart and joined in, singing the duet with him. When you reached the dialogue breaking up the song, you stopped dancing, both panting a little.
“Loki,” you laughed. “What are you still doing here? I thought you went to the diner with everyone else.”
“Yes, well, you were not going to be there yet, and I have not had the chance to tell you what I have wanted to all day.”
“Oh my goodness,” you gasped. “I nearly forgot about that in all the excitement of the day. But you have my full attention now. What’s up?”
“I love you,” he said plainly.
You weren’t convinced that this wasn’t a dream or a hallucination of some sorts. But no, he’d said it, clear as day. He loves you. Loki loves you. It was shocking, to say the least. Of course, it was completely welcome, though. In your surprise, you took long enough to formulate a response that his smile faltered a little. His worries were erased when you kissed him, however. The god responded immediately, kissing you back with just as much passion as you did him.
“I love you, too,” you told him just as simply as when he’d said it to you.
After finishing up in the theater, you exited the building. Once outside, Loki couldn’t resist kissing you again before meeting up with the rest of the company. And, being the fluffy sap he was, he absolutely had to tell you he loved you again, this time referencing the show.
“Te adoro,” he said.
You beamed at him again. “Te adoro, Loki.”
100 notes · View notes
takiki16 · 3 years
Note
I have been reading your “you are responsible forever for what you have tamed” tag with UTTER GLEE *fans self*
Do you have any recommendations for books / fix to read which are heavy on fealty and subby men/murderbots? Especially if the kink is explicit but implicit is delightful too! Thank you!!
Hello! Thank you for enjoying my tag, and for giving me a really pleasant walk down memory lane, as I just went through the tag to find some fics to rec!
Disclaimer: I am not actually IN all of the fandoms for these recs, so if you want to go exploring the original canon or fandom proceed with caution as I have no idea what's out there in them hills.
Recs under the cut!
It's really hard for me to pull together a GOOD, COHERENT rec list for subby murderbot fic, because (1) I have been a fan of this trope for a good long time, and I simply cannot be arsed to go through over three thousand pages of bookmarks because I get distracted and start re-reading, and (2) there isn't a clear tag for it on ao3? And I understand why not, because it's hard to distinguish between "this is a character dynamic in the text" and "this is a kinky fic I am writing specifically for physical kink purposes." And THEN there are the fics where those two overlap!
So...*waves hands helplessly* I tried?
If you are looking very specifically for fealty-related femdom stuff, I made a not-so-giant femdommy fic rec list here a couple years ago, it's a good starter. It could probably use some updating at this point, but I have well over three thousand bookmarks on ao3 and...well...see above.
Tbh, I'm just going to link my AO3 bookmarks and accept that this may lose me a GREAT deal of respect from some of you pr0nbots who thought I was Better Than That (TM) for some of the stuff in there (spoilers: i am NOT and i AM embarrassed about it). Search "Dom/Sub" or "Light dom/sub" or "Fealty" or even just "BDSM" and you'll probably turn up a bunch of fics from different fandoms. Since authors don't always tag themes, you can also use the "Search within results" bar as well as the tags search, which might net you more results.
You could just search my Helen Wick tag - most of my John Wick stuff tags end up being vaguely kinky anyway. Sadly, not a whole lot of subby John Wick fic out there, but hope springs eternal I suppose!
The Clocktaur Verse is a fantasy book series by T. Kingfisher that I HIGHLY recommend as far as subby, respectful murderbot paladins!
@astolat's fics are always quality, but @fahye made a definitive astolat fealty rec list! I haven't read the merlin, thor/loki, and stargate fics because I don't happen to be in those fandoms, but I CANNOT recommend enough "And I Alone Have Escaped to Tell You," because despite the fact that it's forkin' Transformers, I have never ever read another fic that gets literal "subby murderbot second-in-command" quite so well. "Duende" from Master & Commander is also very good, although neither of them is precisely what I would call "subby."
@theragnarokd's Person of Interest fics on ao3 are incredible, as is the series they wrote with maculategiraffe, which is ALL about fealty. In fact, Person of Interest in general as a fandom is pretty rich for subby murderbot content, since the main character is an archetypal subby murderbot. astolat has a GREAT POI collection.
I would highly recommend Jupiter Ascending, a glittering ridiculously fantastic space angel werewolf of a movie where the male love interest is a literal dog soldier. Generally, anything written for Jupiter/Caine in the Jupiter Ascending fandom is choice subby murderbot content. I am also, shamefully, several years into a hiatus for a JA fic of my own.
Leverage is another fandom with a subby murderbot in it, but since Eliot Spencer is also a lot of other things not all of the fic involving him focuses on that dynamic. One of my oldest bookmarks is "Before Red Cape and Foil" by egelantier and somebraveapollo, which is a crossover with a fandom I don't go to but you don't need to be familiar to enjoy the whump. The Rope Studio AU by synteis is also good, if sadly unfinished. In fact, the first couple pages of my Leverage bookmarks should be a good resource.
I really, honestly don't think I can get much better than just shoving all of my thousands of ao3 bookmarks at people (I should start using bookmarker's tags someday (ㆆ_ㆆ)), but I PROMISE that somewhere in that mess is a bunch of subby murderbot and subby murderbot AU content! Just... a little buried in the slush.
31 notes · View notes
nemuitoka · 3 years
Note
What are your favorte jshk fanfics? also where do you like reading them the most?
Hi Anon!!! today is the day I can finally answer this question😈 ahaha you know how much I enjoy making fic recs so 👀 Let’s go!!!
To answer your second question first, I like reading them on AO3 the most! Mostly because I get almost unlimited number of characters to rant in the comment section........... 😆but also the tagging system is very helpful.
Okay, now to the fun part of this ask😏
You said JSHK, but I mostly read Hananene ones so all of my favs include that pairing... as  I already did a fic rec here of my favs, this list will continue that one, so please check that one first hehe ((I apologize in advance..., I would love for people to recommend me some mitsukou ones tbh... I’m really lost when it comes to other pairings orz)) 
If I’m completely honest with you anon-san, my favorite JSHK fic right now is the one Roxanne ( @istoleyourboat )  wrote based of my art and her snippet:
Star-Crossed and Falling- Where Stars Go to Die by lilaflo
Hanako is Princess Nene’s personal knight 👀. A tale of forbidden love. They slowly fall in love as they exchange a series of gifts, one that includes a pair of matching earrings that remind them of their love when they’re apart. Also, jelly Hanako of Nene’s suitors😏... Oh, but nothing lasts forever and those sweet moments will come to an end when they have to face their cruel reality, in this world, they don’t get to choose neither their battles or the ones they love.
Now more of Roxanne, because I seriously enjoy her work so much (I’m sure everyone knows by now lmao sdkj) 
Night of the Phantom King by lilaflo 
This one is a spooky one. Nene’s regret for never realizing who she truly loves takes her to mourn her deceased friend Amane and cry on his grave in a Halloween night, then suddenly the Phantom King comes to take her away👀 & he looks suspiciously familiar... Beautiful world building btw, also the ending is just, excellent. 
12 Year Romance by lilaflo
Amane meets Nene at the Tanabata festival, she’s older than him, but he falls for her instantly, fast forward, Amane is now in middle school, he’s a troublemaker, & gets constantly into fights, but he swears the new school nurse looks familiar... he then realizes it’s her and thinks it must be fate!!!... This one hits close to home bc I’ve been in this situation irl, so I can confirm all of Nene’s struggles are real (and ofc how a love with an age gap should be handled the correct way, this fic really teaches you many life lessons hahaha) 
took a sip then another sip, then you turned and said to me by chivalrousamour 
This autor has a bunch of good JSHK fics!! I recommend you check their AO3 out, bec you may find something you like for sure! But, this is my absolute fav from them. Nene is a mangaka, celebrating the finishing of her long serialized manga, while Amane is a delivery boy who happens to find her in a very questionable state in her house👀 (it’s all family friendly ofc, anon, I’m not a slimy pervert like some ghost boy)
Maid for Each Other by corologs ( @corologs )
Courtney has this amazing College AU collection series that I encourage you to check out!!! But Maid for each other is my fav!!! So it’s the Yugi twins birthday, and it’s Tsukasa’s turn to choose where they go to celebrate it... you can already tell where this is going... (let the chaos begin) & as the title said, it involves maids!!! (it has Kaicho wa maid sama vibes if you liked that anime~~)
If I Could Tell Her by corologs
What if the picture perfect arc plan was successful??? Well, this fic explores this idea, and it’s very interesting to read. I like how Amane and Hanako are two separate people here.
the horizon tries but it’s just not as kind on the eyes by sincerelyand ( @sunlightinourheadlights ) 
(Oh my sweet Karen, she writes such good fics, so go check her AO3 out as well!!) Amane and Yashiro are friends that share an apartment (& they were roommates-- OMG they were roommates), even if Amane has its complains, because Nene can be a handful sometimes (and in denial of her true feelings as always, are we even surprised at this point?) he loves her dearly anyways😭.
for real, this time by sourlemoncandy  ( @sour-lemon-candy )
Did somebody say fake dating AU?????? Because hell yeah I did asajj I loved reading this so much!! Nene and Amane are childhood friends, and Nene overhears some girls talking about Amane and how one of them plans to ask him out... but she senses these girls are up to no good so she... well, you gotta read it to find out more~~ it’s no fun If I tell ya everything hehe... so go go go!!
lemon cream by sourlemoncandy
Amane and Nene, just two good friends having a road trip and sharing donuts... what could go wrong??  😏 seriously, I loved this fic so much!! Instant fav! Also makes me wanna try some good sweet donuts...
Trip Down Memory Lane by insipidenvy ( @insipidenvy )
This fic is so sweet. I have such a huge attachment to it, because I read it when I really needed some fluff in my life hahaha. It’s sort of a collection of memories between Amane and Yashiro’s relationship over the years. So heartwarming... if you need the fluffs you’ll enjoy this very much!!
The Radish Princess and the Toilet Prince by insipidenvy
This is my favorite fic from insipidenvy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know how I am a slut for Royalty AUs so that’s why!!!!! Also Toilet Prince!! hahahaha such a good nickname lmao. I love how they bond over their insecurities, it’s very relatable tbh. 
Between Wind and Water by WingSongHalo  ( @wingsonghalo )
My beautiful Wing always delivering the good Hananene content, as she should!! This fic is so fun to read!! I laughed so hard at Nene and Hanako being awkward with each other!!! So you know how Hanako is super clingy with Nene, he’s always touching & hugging her, but this time something weird happens and he’s so distant~~ Nene doesn’t want to admit it at first, but she misses his clingy ghost boy~~ you’ll have a good time reading this for sure!  
The Monster's Bride by Hammsters ( @uglierdaikon )
Have you heard about the myth of Cupid and Psyche? Well this fic rewrites it in a very Hananene way <3 hehe I loved it so much (as I’m a huge fan of mythology~) To sum it up, Nene is fated to marry a monster that lives in the mountains so she’s devastated... to her surprise, her husband is far from what she expected... she only had one rule to obey and well... we all know how reckless Nene is so... you go find out what happens next now!! hehehe
Morning Reflections by FalalalaLa  ( @miss-sternennacht )
So you’ve heard of Hanako watching Nene sleep, but what about Nene watching Amane sleep???!! this fic offers you this and so much more fluff <3 Also Nene remembering how they met and how their relationship evolved during the years, aww <3 
Cursed Coin by DaikonSenpai  ( @daikonsenpai )
There’s a school dance, Yashiro’s supposed to be dancing with Kou (since she can’t go with Hanako, which causes him to be jelly~~ and bitter), but she loses a coin Aoi gave her for good luck so she goes out and searches for it on the last place she saw it, the school fountain. Suddenly Hanako spots her, what’s she doing outside??? is she drunk or something?? what happens next you may find out when you read it~~~
Between Love and Hope by Baronesscmd (SweeterThanYourDarkestSin) ( @baronesscmd )
Oh to be Nene and get to sleep between the Yugi twins... God really has favorites uh... ISTG, this collection of fics is so cute. I love how Nene loves the twins so much in this AU, they have their little cute family. She ofc is in love with Amane, but their relationship with Tsukasa is so tender... it’s mostly this trio having fluffy moments together to heal your soul... if you need some, you’ll get it here for sure hahaha. 
Ghost of You (And All the Futures We've Forgotten) by Indigo_Floof  milkteamoon  ( @indigosienna , @spades-queen )
So anon you may have been wondering, well this bitch likes fluff only???? how about some angst for a change, uh? DAMN, OKAY THEN, here you have some angst to rip your soul out and wish you never sent me this ask in the 1st place, bec of the emotional damage this fic will leave you sdajjsa, also if you liked “Erased”, you’ll love this fic too! 
Hanako of the Opera by zxrstan
Finally, but not less important, me being annoying about Hanako of the Opera & POTO AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! This fic is based of the AU Aidairo created mostly, it’s really fun to read if you didn’t get much of what was happening during the Hanako of the Opera event, it has a nice ending also! very satisfying I must say. 
AAAAND THIS IS THE END OF MY ALL TIME FAV LIST OMG;;;; Kudos for me for searching through all my damn AO3 and Google Chrome history (from both my PC and phone, since I am a FOOL and forgot my AO3 password so I read a lot of these in the past as a guest before recovering my password LMAO, please be patient with me omg, and also if you see me bookmarking them now, you know why 😭) 
Kudos to all of my writer homies as well, I love and appreciate all of you so much!! you have no idea! 💖
I hope you find this list useful, anon!! Thank you for sending me this ask and have a wonderful day! 
Ps. Please everyone feel free to add more fics to this list if you want! this is all my personal picks, but I’m aware there are a lot more fics that I haven’t read and deserve as much recognition as the ones I listed!
223 notes · View notes
evilphrog · 2 years
Text
First Lines Meme
Tagged by @sidleyparkhermit
List the first lines of the last 10 stories you published. Look to see any patterns you notice yourself, and see if anyone else notices any. Then tag some friends.
This is a bit different for me because I haven't published most of my stuff, and most of it is analysis instead of fiction.
1. There exists a pocket dimension inside every coat closet, which is connected to every other coat closet in the world.
This was originally a short story I wrote at age 14, after discovering Douglas Adams and learning you can do That with words. It was literally just about coat closets, but I later repurposed it into a stilly story for my husband about what our future kids might be like. The line holds a very dear place in my heart, because it was the first thing I ever wrote that I was proud of.
2. Orion peered shiftily over his shoulder, verified he wasn’t being followed, and approached the portal.
This was one of my first tries at starting mid-event, instead of with some exposition. It was made as a bit of backstory for our DND campaign, written as a joke for my friends. Orion was my very first character, and my husband and I are working on a book about his adventures in our spare time.
3. The seaside town of Lagrange was the sort of place that could only be referred to as charming. It was populated almost entirely by cow-eyed farmers who knew no greater joy in life than a hard day’s work.
From the same campaign, but a different story about another character, a barbarian who is definitely using "charming" in a derogatory way.
4. “Oh for fuck’s sake Why me?!” - Draw Me a Blueprint of your Heart Shadow and Bone
This is the opener for my one and only longfic. Still a WIP, and one of my few pieces of fiction written in first person. I have trouble with first person, because I like to get in every character's head and show their thoughts. It also feels weird using I to describe things I would never do or say, because I am very much NOT like Alina in this story. But the original book is first person, and I was trying to hold with the writing style.
5. Aziraphale was walking along the edge of the ark, checking up on everything. - Doubt Good Omens (Book)
I kind of cringe looking at this fic now, but I am still proud of it. I had to learn how to write again after a bad head injury, and this was my very first actual story produced after three years of rehabilitation. It isn't the most original or skillful, but I like to see how far I've come in such a short time.
6. When I first hear the news, time doesn't stop. Icy cold terror refuses to run through my veins, and my heart completely fails to skip a beat.
Now we are firmly out of fiction and into my essays. This one is my college application essay from high school, where I exploit my cancer diagnosis for all it's worth. It was fun to go back through very old works, because I was a lot better than I gave myself credit for.
7. I had to watch a newborn baby the other day, and the experience has helped me to reach the conclusion that any child below the age of four is not actually a human, but is, in fact, a tangible representation of pure evil.
Another one from Past Me, and makes me entirely unsurprised that I chose to adopt teenagers rather than babies. Tell me how you really feel, go on, don't hold back.
8. Seven hundred and ten days, and it still burns the same. Some of the color of the world died with you.
This was the opener to a song I wrote after losing someone I deeply loved. Well, Past Me, over a decade later, it also still burns the same. Sorry you had to find out this way.
9. Your motivation can't be self-hate.
This was a lecture I wrote for work, about the paradox in mental health where therapists recommend things like walks outside, healthy food, limiting screen time, learning hobbies, good sleep, etc. But if a client does those things out of an effort to "fix" themselves rather than because those things are inherently enjoyable, they don't get the benefits because their brain views it as work to stave off the guilt and shame, rather than a fun way to spend time. My recommendation was to focus on reinforcing the client's right to fun relaxation and enjoyment of life, rather than pushing specific Approved Activities.
10. People love the Loki series because it is a story of redemption.  But what I think a lot of folks miss is that it is just as much a redemption for Mobius as it is for Loki - Mobius and the Theme of Redemption Loki (TV)
Yeah, Mobius hit me right in the religious trauma. That whole show did, really. I love the complexity of every character involved, and how everyone who watches it seems to have a different idea of which characters were right and which ones were wrong. It was a world where there were no "good" choices, just the constant struggle between freedom and safety.
It was interesting to go back over and see how my writing has evolved over time. I definitely see a clear distinction between the things I wrote pre and post injury. I think I got more focused on the subject, and less focused on word choices. I can't decided if I prefer that or not. My older stuff seems more entertaining, but a bit harder to follow. Past me had a love for exploiting English in ways that leave sentences ambiguous and open for comedic misunderstandings. Present me has a love for human behavior and ethics.
tagging: @sirnotappearinginthisblog @dont-offend-the-bees @yoshiyakiryu @all-about-the-tea-parties @highwarlockofphilly @chaos-monkeyy
3 notes · View notes