#anyway. how is it possible that ive never had this much fun writing a paper when the end result is so.??? idk it *could* be good but i dont | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nyctophilin · 4 years

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Fake affection | I

sweet anon: Can I request a dom! Han Jisung smut? Where he and the reader are fake dating because Jisung want's to make someone jealous but ends up fucking the reader instead? I love your writings so much!!

Chapter I, Chapter II, Chapter III, Chapter IV, Epilogue

Description: Han Jisung has been rejected by the girl he likes one to many times. He decides that he has had enough and is set on making her want him back. What could possibly make her want him more than seeing him with her rival after she boldly assumed he can’t find anyone better. That way Jisung and Y/N are stuck in a fake relationship until Jisung’s crush falls for him. Or he falls for someone else.

Pairing: Han x fem!Reader, Hyunjin x fem!Reader

Word count: 4.5k

Genre: College!AU, Fake dating!AU, Angst, Fluff, eventual Smut

Warnings: swearing, mention of masturbation

A/N: Wow, so it looks like I am unable of making short fics, haha. I planed for this to be a one-shot but it’s already this long and I don’t want to bore you guys with long fics so I will make a second part and a third if needed but I doubt. I really hope you guys like this one. Feedback is very much appreciated.

Y/N was tapping her finger on the desk, her head resting in her palm. She was watching the professor walk around in front of the class explaining something but she wasn’t paying attention. Her mind was filled with thoughts about whether or not she was going to get the role.

Some people from her university that were majoring in Film Production had to write a script for a short movie and the best five got chosen to be produced. Initially, she believed that only Theater and Film Majors could participate at the auditions but the administration of the school made an announcement one morning informing them that everyone could take part in the audition process. That meant she had to deal with more competitors for the role she wanted.

Initially, Y/N was the only one who wanted to audition for the main role of one of the movies since people didn’t really catch its concept that well. When the audition day finally came, one Modern Dance major showed up out of nowhere and auditioned as well. The apparition of that particular character made her blood boil with anger.

Her competitor for the role was none other than Mina, her so-called enemy. They weren’t enemies in the real sense of the word. They just simply didn’t click with one another and silently agreed a long time ago to ignore each other. They weren’t pulling childish stunts on each other, they didn’t speak each other's names unless necessary, they didn’t try to win each other in grades or parties or body counts. They were just mutually ignoring one another. And everything was fine until she showed up there.

Y/N wasn’t going to lie and say that Mina wasn’t good. Her performance wasn’t exceptional but for someone that has never done that before, she was fairly good. That had her worried about her chances of getting chosen.

When the bell finally rang ending her suffering she got up in the split of a second and left the room. She could not bear to hear any more of the professor’s babbling. Her boots let out quiet thuds every time they touched the concrete floors. She found herself in front of the announcement board but the paper that was supposed to tell her if she got chosen or not, was missing. Thinking to herself that they probably will put it up later she turned on her heels and made her way towards the cafeteria.

She met her friend Hayoon there and they sat down at a table situated in the centre of the cafeteria. They talked about how they had been up until then and Hayoon complained about one of her classes and how she’s going to fail it.

The chatter in the cafeteria died down when the door was slammed open and Mina stomped in, a bitter expression on her face. “I can not believe that they made me a stunt double! What does that even mean?” Her voice was louder than it should have been as she addressed her friends. Her intention was most probably to attract attention.

A smirk crept on Y/N’s face as she realised that she did, in fact, get the main role. She gave her friend a suggestive eyebrow raise as she slowly took the chopstick to her mouth. Her face dropped when she heard the stomping approaching her. “Hey, loser, what’s a stunt double?” Mina’s voice was scratching her ears. How she managed to sound like one of those toys for dogs sometimes, she’ll never understand.

“I can’t believe you’ve auditioned for a role without knowing what a stunt double is.” Y/N rolled her eyes at the other girl and a few people from around them chuckled. Mina’s face caught a crimson colour as the embarrassment settled in.

“Haha, you are so funny!” It was clear by now that the girl was trying to mask her flustered form by trying to embarrass Y/N back.

The truth was that she didn’t mean to make fun of her. She just let her first thoughts leave her mouth. “I wasn’t trying to be funny.” A sigh left her lips. “A stunt double is a person that executes all the dangerous or action scenes for the main actor so they don’t get injured. Stunt doubles are usually gymnasts, people that know martial arts and all that jazz. They probably chose you because of your dance background.”

“I can’t believe it. Not only they didn’t give me the role, but they are also going to use me to protect you?” Mina had an annoyed expression.

“Oh please! Did you really think they were going to choose you? You entered that room without even knowing the concept and somehow managed to get the feel right a couple of times. Meanwhile, some of us actually prepared for that audition.” Y/N was fed up with Mina’s princess behaviour. Always thinking that everything is rightfully hers and expecting everyone to kiss her ass. All that just because her father was donating a big sum of money to the university every term. They are donations at the end of the day and she should not be expecting special treatment just for that.

Mina’s face became a crimson red for the second time in ten minutes and she stomped away from Y/N’s table. The few people that were watching them averted their eyes when Y/N took a look around.

From the corner of the cafeteria, someone was watching them with a smirk on their face. Oh, how he got just the perfect idea.

Y/N sat in the second closest row to the professor. She was in “Canto class” as she liked to call it. It was one of the optional classes she chose to take that year. It wasn’t a compulsory class for Theater and Film majors since you don’t necessarily have to know how to sing to be an actress but she took it anyway because she thought it would be fun. And so far it was.

A loud bang invaded her left ear and she turned to find Han Jisung having his back to her and chatting with his friends that were seated a few rows behind them. She raised her eyebrow but didn’t question it. It wasn’t like the seat was occupied and she definitely had nothing against him sitting next to her. He probably just wanted to pay more attention since he and his friends are always distracted during class.

Y/N turned back to her stuff and opened her notebook to take another look at the notes from last class. Soon after the professor entered the classroom and the chatter died down.

She was vigorously writing in her notebook everything the professor was explaining to them. Suddenly she felt a touch on her left elbow and stopped for a second. She immediately resumed her writing, convinced that he probably did that by mistake. Not even a minute later she felt another touch on her elbow this time more evident. She ignored it again not paying much mind to it. Jisung’s elbow collided with hers causing her to push her notebook and scribble on it.

She snapped her head towards him and felt anger overcome her when she noticed the smirk on his face. “What?” She whispers yelled in his direction.

“Hi!” He did a short wave of his hand in her direction and she clenched her jaw. She closed her eyes and exhaled deeply before going back to her note-taking. She had only five minutes of peace before he poked her side again. She smacked his hand away from her and continued to mind her own business.

Throughout the class, Jisung kept bothering her and trying to talk to her despite her obvious wish to let her take notes. When the bell rang she got up quickly, her blood boiling and left the room in a hurry hoping she could lose Jisung on the busy halls. As she was hurriedly making her way between the sea of people she felt an arm going over her shoulders and she crashed with the owner of the arm.

“Why are you in such a hurry babe?” Jisung’s voice rang in her ear as they were practically glued to each other. She grabbed his hand and swung his arm away from her shoulders.

“For the love of God, what do you want from me Han Jisung?” Exasperation was present in her voice as she threw him an ugly look.

She couldn’t guess what he needed from her to annoy her to that extent. They were acquaintances and nothing more. They knew each other from that one class they shared and the longest interaction they had was when the professor prepared an interactive class once and they had to work in groups of five.

He was the university’s “heartthrob” as people liked to call him. Y/N personally thought that that title should be given to Hwang Hyunjin who was majoring in Modern Dance. He was more mature than the rest of his friends, he was friendly with everyone and wasn’t pulling pranks on innocent people to entertain some brainless creatures. But who was she to oppose the masses?

On top of doing all those things, Jisung was also in a relationship with Mina. Every time they are together they will target someone and will start making fun of them. More Mina than Jisung but he was still entertaining her actions and that made him as guilty as she was.

“I need to ask you something. Or better, make you a proposal.” He winked at her and she felt an uncomfortable shiver run through her. How disgusting.

“Ok, and what is it?” She threw him an expectant look and he started looking around.

“Let’s talk outside where there are fewer people. You got a free period, right?” Confusion made its way on her face.

“How do you know that? Are you weirdo following me?” She has never talked with him as friends and they share only one class. How on earth would he know her schedule?

“What? No! I see you hanging out around the university all the time after our class.” She rolled her eyes at his answer and gestured her hand towards the closest exit out of the building signalling him to lead the way.

Very soon they were seated on a bench under a tree somewhere behind the university. It was her first time coming there. Y/N usually liked to remain at the front of the building since couples usually liked to come there and make out sometimes even fuck.

“I think we should start dating.” He blurted out and she froze for a second before jumping to her feet startling the man.

“I knew you were fucking weird. I’m leaving!” What in the actual fuck did she think when she came here. For a second she expected a real conversation but Jisung’s main skills were flirting and making bad jokes. She set her expectations way too high for that conversation.

She picked her bag from the bench and started leaving only to have Jisung grab her wrist and stop her. “Wait, let me explain. I swear you’ll understand better after.” Y/n wanted to turn and leave but the puppy dog eyes he gave her made her stay and listen to him. Now, don’t get her wrong, his expression didn’t soften her but if he was desperate enough to try the puppy eyes on her then it must be important to him.

She plopped down on the bench and waited for him to start talking. “Look, I’m pretty sure you know Mina. And I know you two aren’t on great terms. I say we date so you can get back at her for all the things she has done to you.” He raised his eyebrows at her and pursed his lips.

Y/N was the one that raised her eyebrow next as she leaned her head to the side. “Aren’t you and Mina dating?”

“Obviously not.” Jisung used a tone that pissed Y/N off. A tone that said ‘It was so obvious, how can you not know?’ and she didn’t like it one bit.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! I must have read the signs the wrong way. I mean, it's not like you are always together and you carry her backpack around and you hang out outside of school six days out of seven and kiss before classes and make out behind the university probably right on this bench.”

A smirk appeared on Jisung’s face. “Who’s following who now?”

“Don’t flatter yourself. Mina’s voice is so annoying I could hear her every time she talked. When I would turn to see what was up now you two were most times engaged in some sort of PDA.” She spoke fast trying to prove that she wasn’t following him. She didn’t know why she felt the need to do that but the thought of Jisung thinking that she has some sort of interest in him was terrifying. He completely humiliated the last “unpopular” girl that confessed her feelings to him and at that moment the last thing she needed was for him to go around saying she is a stalker.

“Well, we are getting there. I asked her out and she said that she’ll love to but it’s too fun to tease me. When I asked her ‘What if I get a girlfriend?’ she told me I can not find anyone better for me than her. When I saw you fighting in the cafeteria earlier I knew I found my perfect girl. Not only are you hot, but she also hates you.” Y/N raised an eyebrow at his words.

“Hot?” Her tone was untrusting as this was the first time someone from uni had said that to her.

“Yeah. You didn’t think that guys came to last year’s theatre spectacles because they were actually interested in theatre, right?” A laugh left his mouth at her dumbfounded face as she registered his words. A blank expression adorned her face immediately after trying not to seem so surprised.

“Well, not anymore.” She let her tongue trace her bottom lip before biting the flesh. “Ok, so tell me what you actually want us to do.” Uneasiness settled inside Jisung as he watched her bored face.

“Well, I mean what I said. We should date. Or fake dating if you will. That way I can make Mina jealous and push her to run into my arms. I bet she can’t stand seeing me with you for too long.” He looked into her eyes hopefully thinking that maybe he convinced her but his hope was quickly shattered when she opened her mouth.

“What are you? Five? I don’t want to get back at her and I have absolutely no reason to help you in your sick plan. I’m out of here!” Once again she picked up her bag to leave only for Jisung to grab her wrist and stop her, again.

“Please Y/N! I’m desperate. I’ve been trying to date her for a year and a half already.” That was pathetic. She had absolutely no reason to help him. None at all. But something pushed her to stay and accept his offer. Maybe she could take advantage of the situation.

Turning her head towards her she tried to keep a straight face as best as she could. “What do I get out of it?”

Jisung’s face brightened instantly at her question and he held her hand with both of his. “Anything you want. If it’s possible I’ll do it.” His eyes were pouring into hers and a stupid sparkle was present in them.

“I guess you were going to do that anyway but I want you to present me to your friends.” The same bored expression that she had on for almost the entirety of their conversation was adorning her face. Jisung was amazed at the lack of emotions she managed to show but she was an actress. Maybe she’s just good at her job.

“Why? Do you have a crush on any of them?” A smirk was enveloping his facial features and he had a teasing tone. Y/N rolled her eyes at his comment.

“No. Some of them seem like really interesting people but their only defect was hanging out with you. Now that I have to hang out with you too I might as well start talking to them.” She shook his hands off hers before putting it in her front pocket. “Now I have to go to class cause my free period is almost over. See you later, babe!” She winked at him before turning around and making her way to her next class.

The next day she met with Jisung in front of the cafeteria so they could walk in together and “announce” their relationship. Somehow he got hold of her number and they texted the night prior about the terms of their little deal. She felt like laughing when she saw how serious he was about it. If he really did end up dating Mina she’ll be convinced that both of them are idiots.

His arm was over her shoulders as they walked through the tables. Multiple people were staring at them but she decided to ignore them. Upon reaching the table she placed her tray down and took a seat. The people at the table were looking confused at one another and some were throwing Jisung questioning looks.

“Everyone, meet my girlfriend.” He spoke gesturing with a hand towards her. She smiled at them and waved her hand, muttering a soft ‘Hi!’.

One of them, who she recognised to be Lee Minho, a Modern Dance major cleared his throat. “Hey. It’s nice to meet you.” He had an awkward smile on. “What are you majoring in?”

“Yeah, I don’t recall seeing you around campus.” Seo Changbin, a Music Production major added.

“Oh, I…” She started talking but a puff coming from her left stopped her.

“Seriously dude? You share a class. She’s L/N Y/N from your Theory and Improvisation class.” The voice belonged to Hwang Hyunjin and she felt a funny feeling in her stomach at the realisation that he knows her. Everyone around the table was throwing him weird looks.

“You are right but how do you know that? I’m pretty sure you don’t take that class.” There was a trace of embarrassment in her voice.

“I don’t but sometimes when I wait for those guys outside of the classroom I see you walking out.” He said that with nonchalance taking a bite from his food.

“And how do you know her? She’s not a Music Production major otherwise we would have known. And she’s not a Dance major either otherwise Minho and Felix would have known about her as well.”Changbin’s tone was almost provoking as if Hyunjin had done something bad and he was about to reveal it.

“She’s a Theatre and Film major. Last year when we went to all those theatre spectacles to support Jeongin I was actually paying attention to the plays. She had either the main role or the lead. I remember her being really good.” She felt her cheeks heat at his comment.

“Thank you!” She threw him a smile. However, she got ignored as Lee Felix started talking.

“Do you know her Jeongin?” She somehow felt offended by his question. Maybe that wasn’t his intention but he should have used a different tone.

“Of course I do. We share almost all of our classes and last year we worked on multiple plays together.” Annoyance was present in his voice caused by his friends' ignorance.

She knew Jeongin from the first day. He was the first to speak to her although they didn’t exactly become friends. They kept on working on plays together throughout the entirety of the first year of college but they kept everything mostly professional since they both had their own group of friends and she kind of disliked most of his friends.

“Then how come you never talk about her?” Now, wasn’t Changbin an annoying one? She rolled her eyes discreetly at his question.

“Because we are not the best of friends. Why don’t you talk about Kim Gina from your degree?” The youngest question was a good one. They were acquaintances and barely knew something about each other. What was he supposed to talk about?

“Gina is not hot. What am I supposed to talk about?” The older male said calmly with a shrug of his shoulders.

The water she was just drinking got stuck in her throat and she started coughing violently. Jisung started hitting her back repeatedly trying to help her swallow. When she finally calmed down she looked at him annoyed.

“Who she is, is not important. What’s important is that she is my girlfriend” he gave Changbin a side look ”and you have to accept that. Stop talking about her like she is not sitting right in front of you.” A few of them raised their hands in defeat while some of them averted their eyes. Minho and Changbin rolled their eyes.

She felt her blood pressure spike up at their action. She remembered why she never wanted to talk to any of them. Arrogant pricks.

“Ok, Mister protective boyfriend. Just tell us when you break up.” Minho took a bite of his food done with the younger man’s antics. Everyone knew that he was in love with Mina. The moment she shows some interest in him he would probably leave this one in a heartbeat.

Y/N sucked in a breath discreetly. He really got her worked up and she hated it. She put an arm around Jisungs shoulders and yanked him towards her, his face close to her chest. With her other hand, she grabbed the sides of his face making him look up at her and forcefully pursing his lips.

“Break up? Do you wanna break up with me, babe?” Y/N’s voice was mocking as if she was talking with a child. Jisung swallowed hard before shaking his head. She smiled at his response and used the hand from around his shoulders to ruffle his hair. “That’s what I thought.” She placed a short kiss on his lips before releasing him and turning back to her food.

Everyone at the table was looking at both of them shocked, especially Minho and Changbin. She wanted to let a proud smile escape her but she controlled herself.

For the rest of the lunch, she decided not to engage in any more discussions with Jisung’s friends. She continued eating her food and listened to them talking about things that didn’t involve her, occasionally responding to Hayoon’s texts.

She was the first one to get up, impatient to go to her next class and not have to see them. “Bye guys. It was lovely meeting you!” She smiled at them, a smile half true because she did like some of them. “Bye babe. See you later!” She grabbed the sides of his face again placing another kiss on his lips before taking her empty tray and leaving them alone.

The men all watched her as she made her way out of the cafeteria. When she closed the door behind her they all burst into laughter. Jisung was biting the inside of his cheek irked by their action. When the laughter stopped, Seungmin that was sitting next to him put his hand on his shoulder.

“I absolutely adore your girlfriend. She knows how to keep her ‘babe’ in check I see.” Seungmin tried cupping his face as Y/N did but Jisung slapped his hand away.

“Are you her good boy, Jisungie? Does she give you rewards if you listen to her?” Minho cooed at him and Jisung held back an insult.

“Shut the fuck up. It’s not like that. She surprised me as well. Who the fuck knew she was going to do that?” When he proposed the whole fake dating thing to her he thought it would be easier. Looking at it now he can’t understand why he thought that. He saw the way her fights with Mina unfold and he knew she was an actress which meant that she was probably either crazy confident or really good at faking it. For some reason, he thought she would be easier to tease and control but it would be a lie if he said it didn’t intrigue him. He liked a challenge and if the prize was Mina he would try his best.

“And you man” Chan spoke for the first time “what the fuck was that? Do you know her entire biography?” He was looking at Hyunjin who rolled his eyes.

“I told you I paid attention to last year’s plays. On top of that, she’s hot. I remember that after one spectacle I and the guys from my dance group at the time talked about her for like a month. She was so..” The man let out a groan and threw his head back trying to explain what he meant.

“Sure, tell me more. Did you masturbate to the thought of my girlfriend? Perhaps got any wet dreams about her?” Jisung commented, raising an eyebrow.

Hyunjin winked at him as a smirk made its way on his face. Some of the guys simultaneously let out disgusted sounds at his gesture.

“But how did this whole thing happen? I can’t remember a moment when you talked about her or when you were together.” Felix’s deep voice rang making everyone pay attention to him.

Changbin suddenly let a gasp out and dramatically covered his mouth. “Yesterday our little Jisungie sat next to her in Theory and Improvisation and when the class ended he ran after her. I think he might have had a secret crush!” The older man teased.

“Yeah, but she looked really annoyed with him. Hence why she sprinted out of the class. Why would she accept to date him if she looked like she’d rather listen to Mr Jung talk about the first piano ever invented.” Chan intervened making Jisung shrug his shoulders.

“She was annoyed with me but what can I say? I’m so charming she couldn’t refuse me.” He leaned back in his chair putting his arms over the back of the chair.

“I think she did it out of pity. When she realized you’ve been trying to get Mina for a year and a half now she probably felt so bad for you she decided to sacrifice herself so you look less like a loser.” Hyunjin said his tone way to serious to be a joke.

Jisung threw the man a deadly stare. “At least I didn’t masturbate to the thought of her like a fucking virgin.” He spat in the other man’s face.

“Touche.”

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beatlebachelor · 3 years

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May I? : Cedric diggory x reader

summary: your Cedrics best friend and you begin to realise your genuine feelings for him after he enters the Tri-wizard tournament only to find out he feels the same. hufflepuff reader!

Warnings: possibly fluffy?

Word count: 2,257

Y/N - your name

Y/E/C - your eye colour

This is my first time writing one of these so if there is any way you think i could improve please feel free to give suggestions!

Its Monday morning, 9:10 to be precise, me and my friends Cedric, Hermione, Harry and Ron were all sat down having breakfast in the great hall. Despite the fact me and Cedric were in Hufflepuff and the other three were Gryffindor we always sat together. Cedric was two years older than us and did get teased about hanging out with third years but it didn’t bother him, he enjoyed our company. I often hoped he favoured mine especially.

After everyone had finished their food Dumbledore stood up to do his weekly Monday morning speech, but it felt different this morning. “Is that Bartemius Crouch?” Hermione inquired. “Who?” Harry said cautiously. As Hermione went to answer she was quickly interrupted by Dumbledore as his voice bellowed through to the other side of the hall.

“Today, I get to announce something very special and to help me we have Sir Bartemius Crouch from The Ministry of Magic. Hogwarts has been selected to host a famous wizarding event. The Tri-Wizard Tournament!” suddenly there were many whistles, cheers and whispers coming from all four tables, me and Cedric looked at each other in immense delight but everything suddenly stopped when Dumbledore spoke again. “There have been some new rules put in place this year to ensure more safety for our students, after all this is a very dangerous competition. Sir Bartemius Crouch, if you will” a few small whispers formed from different areas of the hall. Ron whispered to us all “if any of you enter this competition ill be praying for you, this tournament is the real thing, so many people that have entered this died just from the first round” What Ron said shook me up a little, part of me knew that Cedric would give into whatever temptation he had to enter.

After all the whispers had finished Bartemius walked up to stand beside Dumbledore. He pulled out a small piece of paper from his pocket where he had obviously written a speech. The room began to feel slightly tense. “From this year onward those who enter and compete in the Tri-wizard tournament must be at least 17 years old-” He was suddenly cut off by the majority of the hall shouting and screaming at him. Me, Harry, Hermione and Ron weren't phased by the new rule. None of us were of age anyway and if we were we wouldn’t have entered. Cedric however appeared to be very pleased with himself, he was 17, he could compete, he wasn’t my boyfriend or anything but id known him for ages. What if he entered and got hurt, I don’t want to stop him from doing something he is interested in though because that wouldn’t be fair.

When we all left the hall I went straight to dark arts, I didn’t speak a word to Cedric in fear that if I did I would just break down and cry. I didn’t want to ruin anything for him because I could tell from the look in his eyes that he wanted to win that cup, and if he wanted it then I would want it for him. After all I was his closest friend, friend... that never felt nice to say.

In dark arts I could barely focus, all I could think about was if I liked Cedric, I had known him for so long and never thought about whether how I felt about him was more than just friendship. I mean would it be so bad if I liked him? I couldn’t get him out of my head. UGGGGHHH this is so frustrating. The thought always did cross my mind about how perfect his face was, everything about him in fact, I couldn’t think of a single flaw no matter how hard I tried.

By the time lunch came I still hadn't made up my mind on if I actually fancied Cedric, I mean come on, am I really going to be like every other girl in this school and fall for his charm. And as if he’d ever like me back, by the looks of it he’s probably into one of the Beaxbatons Academy girls just like the rest of the boys in this place. In all fairness it is rather enjoyable to watch them walk, how do they always look like they are floating? Besides the point! Hopefully I'm just unwell, surely that’s the only explanation.

I went straight back to the common room, anything to avoid Cedric, even if it was missing lunch. However, it appeared my plan to avoid Cedric had failed when I walked in to see him sat on the sofa next to the fire. Just him, no one else. “Are you ok?” I asked with a shake in my voice. “Y/N I wanted to talk to you. We have been friends for ages which is why I want your opinion, I trust you” I felt a small flutter of butterflies in my stomach and proceeded to say “you trust me? I mean emm what is it?” that made me feel rather embarrassed. “Well, I was thinking of entering the Tri-wizard tournament but i know how dangerous it is and idk if I'm capable of the magic I will need to protect myself. I also don’t want to hurt anyone if something bad were to happen to me” A horrible feeling formed in my stomach and slowly moved to my throat. The thought of Cedric getting hurt made me feel sick. “Cedric don’t be silly. Your one of the most talented wizards in this whole school and you seriously think you wouldn’t be able to protect yourself. If its what you want then we all want it for you and I will help in whatever way I can to ensure you win” I said that full of confidence, I really did mean it, every word. “Youve always been there for me Y/N, I genuinely don't know what I would do without you” He pulled me in for a hug, I always loved our hugs, my head would always fall in the right place on his chest. He smells so good, almost a musky bark smell with a hint of vanilla. I wondered if he thought the same.

A week passed and it was time for the champions on the Tri-wizard tournament to be announced. First the champion of Beaxbatons, Fleur Delacour. Next the Durmstrang champion, Victor Krum. As the paper for the Hogwarts champion floated down into Dumbledores hand my stomach sunk but then I felt a slight warmth on my hand, I looked down and it was Cedric. He had interlocked his fingers into mine and was gently squeezing them with excitement, I turned to him and smiled he looked directly into my eyes with a slight smirk as his cheeks flushed pink.

Dumbledore read out the name on the paper “And finally the Hogwarts champion is, Cedric Diggory” Cedrics face lit up with pure joy, so did mine, his iridescent blue eyes glistening. He hugged me so tightly for only about 2 seconds, but there it was again, that smell, his scent makes me feel so warm inside. He let go and stood up to go shake Dumbledores hand. Everyone was cheering, mainly the girls, of course it was the girls.

Another week went by and we had been preparing for his first task, dragons, I don’t know what would've happened to Cedric if Harry didn't tip him off. We practised basic spells on how to defend himself against them for hours and hours. Now we would have to see if he remembered them. Whilst in the tent I stayed with Cedric, he asked me to, his words were “your the only one who can keep me calm” After he had picked out his dragon the canon went off, Cedrics eyes glazed over slightly as he turned and gently kissed me on the forehead. He had never done that before, maybe it was just out of nerves. So many thoughts rushed through my head, surely Cedric didn’t like me? By the time I had gathered my thoughts he had already gone. I ran to my place in the audience, right next to Hermione. She asked what took me so long. I didn’t want to tell her but at the same time I did, I gave her a brisk hug and began to watch Cedric in hope that he would succeed and taking the egg.

Cedric managed to complete the first task unharmed within what seemed about 15 minutes. I was so proud of him. When we were all back at the common room I realised I needed to talk to Cedric, about all the hugs and the forehead kiss and most importantly, how I felt, I waited for everyone to head to their rooms and asked Cedric to stay behind. We sat on the sofa with the fire crackling beside us. “I'm so happy you passed the first challenge, I'm really impressed” I paused for a second thinking of how I was meant to say what I needed to say, but then he cut me off. “Y/N, about earlier, when I kissed you on your forehead, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Recently Ive realised how much you mean to me and I don’t want to do anything that your not ok with. I'm sorry if this is forward but I really do like you, its everything about you. Your hair, your smell, your Y/E/C eyes. I'm sorry I sound so stupid right now” A rush of emotions came over me, was I hearing this correctly, did I fall asleep and I'm actually just dreaming. “Cedric, I feel exactly the same, I didn’t want to tell you in case you didn’t feel the same way and then it was too awkward to continue being friends. That’s why I asked you to stay down here with me for a bit” Cedrics cheeks were bright red and he had a happy/embarrassed expression on his face, I could tell mine was doing the exact same. He held onto my hand again, it felt so natural, I usually wasn’t all for the idea of being touched often but when Cedric did it everything felt ok.

A couple hours passed whilst we were just chatting and even played a game of wizards chess. After I began to get tired he walked me to my room holding my hand all the way. When I got to the door he stopped. ”Y/N would you like to go to the Yule Ball with me” I didn’t even have to think “Yes Cedric, I would” He hugged me and let me go into my room.

We practised for the dance for the next two weeks, it was so fun, we rarely took it seriously but that was what made it even better.

Finally, I hope our practise for the dance was worth while considering I have two left feet. I had just finished getting ready, I wore a flowy light blue dress with a few pale pink and beige tones. As I walked down the stairs I bumped into Hermione. She looked so beautiful, her hair was so perfectly done and she was wearing the prettiest pink dress. Had I not made a big enough effort? We continued to walk down the stairs and I noticed Krum was waiting for Hermione, I couldn’t see Cedric so I stood and waited with them both for a bit. And then, there he was, he looked as handsome as ever in his dress robes, a wide smile formed on his face when he looked at me. He slowly walked over “you look absolutely stunning Y/N” he said whilst gently holding onto both of my hands. “Don't look too shabby yourself” I said with a little giggle, he laughed too, he always did tell me that my laugh was contagious.

Once everyone was gathered in the great hall the champions and their partners were ordered to enter as we were the first to dance. We took position. Staring into Cedrics eyes as he held onto my waist made me feel as if we were the only two people in the room, I wasn’t worried, in fact I didn’t feel anything but joy. The music began and we set off. The more I continued to look into his eyes the more natural the dancing felt. Every time he lifted me into the air butterflies formed in my stomach, my dream was always to be able to dance in a ball with a gorgeous boy and now, my dream was coming true.

As the night grew longer me and Cedric remained in the hall dancing for hours upon hours. Eventually we sat down “Tonight has been really fun Y/N” he started “i actually have something to ask you, well Ive been meaning to ask it for a while now actually.” There was only one thing on my mind “sure go ahead” Cedric slowly stood up holding my hand causing me to stand up too. He gently moved the hair from out of my face and put it behind my ear and the proceeded to place his hand on my cheek. His hands were so soft, I could feel the warmth on my skin. My heart was beating so fast. I saw him open his mouth as if he was too scared to say what he wanted to. “May I kiss you” he said silently in a slightly shaky voice. I leaned in closer to him, my lips very nearly touching his. “...yes”

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deripmaver · 3 years

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4 5 6 for ALL OF THE CaPri FANFICS

LKSJMDHGVLKSJ ALL OF THEM???

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue? 5: What part was hardest to write? 6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

Ink On Paper (tongue fic) 4. lmfaoooooooo there isn't a whole lot of dialogue in this one oop-

Laurent nodded. The wax softened as he pressed his hand into it, erasing his previous message. Soft, warm, melting under his touch. He wrote again, I need someone who is not afraid to read out the insults I make towards the idiots at court. You have been fired, Damianos.

i guess it technically counts lmfao. i just wanted to show laurent post-trauma still able to make jokes and snipe at his husband so it wasnt all doom and gloom 5. i'm not sure exactly what "hardest to write" here means because like... a lot of these fic have serious gore or otherwise upsetting content, but both emotionally and actually writing wise i find that kind of thing actually pretty easy to write hahahaha. i think i got stuck with the chronology and the decision to make it non-linear made it flow a lot better. for the record writing laurent getting raped and then having his tongue cut out was actually very easy to write, i think i got it out in basically one go. #cancelme the more fucked up and intense the easier i find to nyoom through it 6. my first ever fic in the capri fandom!!!! hehehehhehehe <333333 Level Of Concern (plan B fic) 4.

Before Nicaise could say anything, Laurent spat, “Does he know you had your first heat?”

SURPRISE nic was the one who was pregnant the whole time!!!!!!! 5. this one i banged out REALLY quickly so i cant think of anything here 6. capri omegaverse!!!!!!! i wish there was more of this 🥺🥺🥺 Like Me (what if Auguste was also abused fic) 4. ******CW INCEST MENTION CW ABUSE MENTION******

“Your brother’s stuck his dick in every single member of your family,” Auguste spat out, laughing, crying, and so miserable he thought his heart would stop. His voice rose again, and he felt something burst from him as he screamed for the whole world to hear, “Did you know that? Did you, huh papa? Did he fuck you too?”

dude this line is so fucked up lmfao but i enjoyed writing it so much. actually this entire scene where auguste is having his breakdown was really intense to write and im really pleased with how it came out OR

Auguste grabbed him suddenly, looking up into his grief-stricken face desperately. “Please, Laurent,” he pleaded, voice breaking. “Please. Don’t let him end up like me.”

i felt entirely too clever with this line lmfao. i was like ~ooooohhhhh title drop~ im so dumb 5. i just remember this one like. dragged on for some time. i couldnt figure out what to do with it, how to get everything to coalesce around the final reveal about auguste 6. plot twist!!!!!!! plus auguste angst. i really enjoyed this one, i wrote it after watching the movie Spotlight which is one of my all time faves Softly, Gently 4.

“My King has been overexerting himself again, I presume?” Paschal sighed, shaking his head with a fond smile. “When have I ever done that?” Laurent cocked his head to the side, a wry smile on his face.

hehehehe sassy laurent my beloved <33333 5. honestly im just going to skip this one from now on lskjghmvlksjhglkvsjhdl i just get "stuck" sometimes without rhyme or reason and its usually on boring stuff, but then i cant remember later. the hardest part for me is when my dumb fucking adhd brain wont let me focus on writing but once i overcome that its usually pretty smooth sailing 6. horny omegaverse.................... my beloved............... giving men vaginas for horny reasons my beloved......................... Water of Life (birth fic)

“Do you want to hold him?” Erasmus breathed, eyes glassy. The baby cried, Erasmus bouncing him tenderly in those sunkissed arms. He looked apologetic. “Only for a moment, it’s not quite over yet.” A playful smile danced on Erasmus’ lips, and he brushed away a slick, damp curl from the wailing baby’s head. “A head this big, he certainly takes after Exalted.”

a cute, fun lil line in the sea of horrible angst lmfao ORRRRRR

Erasmus knelt before Damen, before Laurent. He said, “Exalted… Can you command his Highness to push?” Damen froze. “Do you mean…?” Erasmus nodded. “Alpha command.” Damen’s expression crumpled. He said, in a voice that shattered Erasmus’ heart, “I can’t. I can’t do that to him.” Erasmus licked his lips. “Exalted, in this state, he can’t push. His contractions are weaker. He’ll-” “I can’t,” Damen cried, clinging to Laurent’s limp body like a lifeline. “He’d… He’d never forgive me.”

damen is so sweet........ he loves laurent so much...... ORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

He stopped at the doorframe, turning to face Laurent with tears in his eyes, and whispered, “How long does it take, your Highness?” Laurent, shocked enough to respond, hissed, “What?” “I still wake up in the middle of the night thinking of it,” Erasmus said, voice thick in his throat, tears burning at his eyes. “How long until it’s over?”

real sad hours if u up click like. i love erasmus and laurent bonding over their shared trauma <33333333333333333333 laurent and erasmus friendship propaganda 24-fucking-7 bay bee!!!!! 6. unironically this is one of my fav fic ive ever written skdljmfhgvlksjdhflmgkvjshldkjfghvmls call the midwife is one of my favorite shows and writing this made me look at birth as something visceral and possibly horrible and traumatic. i wanna write more fucked up birth scenes, SO MANY MORE. ridley scott knew what he was doing Sandalwood (erasmus/kallias my sweet boys i love u so much) 4.

“I do,” Erasmus breathes, ducking his head, flushed as though embarrassed. “In the gardens, the perfume from the orange trees all around us on those summer nights.” Kallias smiles behind him – Erasmus knows his body so intimately he can feel it in how Kallias’ posture changes, though he can’t see the soft turn of his lips. “The scent was so cloying I thought it would drive me mad. It made me want to kiss you senseless.” Erasmus laughs, breathlessly, imagining the warm heat of Kallias’ mouth against his. “Don’t blame that on the orange trees, dear one.”

beloved..................... im weeping.......... 6. these two make me fuckign CRY ON THE REG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH MY SWEET BOYS YOU DESERVE THE WORLD- Wisps of Smoke******************* (lauguste fic) 4. ***CW EXPLICIT INCEST*** (i mean....... obviously lmfao)

“Call me what I like,” Auguste growled against his ear. “You know what I like.” He did. Laurent did. He knew everything Auguste liked – the slow flick of Laurent’s tongue on the underside of his cock, that tender spot behind his earlobe, the way Laurent’s thighs looked straddled atop him like his horse – and this. “Brother,” Laurent gasped, desperate, “Brother, please, harder. Harder.”

i wanted the incest to be explicitly part of the kink here lmfaoooooo 6. hehehehehehehhehehehhehe lauguste................... i need to write more of u But I Love It (laurent is allergic to latex fic) 4.

“Laurent,” Auguste said, voice high in warning. Laurent braced himself, stiffening visibly. With what seemed to be monumental effort, Auguste continued, “You know, Laurent. I’m proud of you.”

IM A SOFT BITCH OK???????????????? auguste is PROUD of his baby bro for overcoming his sexual trauma and getting that fat dick 6. SLJHVDLMKJDHGVLK PEOPLE FUCKING LOVED THIS FIC i tried to be funny and i think it worked. plus some softe bits thrown in. i also kind of see lots of humor fic where its a no abuse au, but i wanted to write something comedic where the regent still. existed u kno????? anyways hahahahha i dont think i can write anything like this again but im glad y'all liked it Is It Cold In The Water (slice of life fic) 4.

Laurent opens his mouth to say something cheeky, but instead, what comes out is: “Do you think Aimeric had the right idea?” Damen is quiet for so long, gaze serious and framed with his long, dark lashes, that Laurent wonders if he’d spoken aloud at all – and when he’s sure he had, he realizes Damen had remembered Aimeric after all. When he speaks again, the sleep is gone from his voice. “Laurent,” Damen says carefully, as though approaching a spooked horse, “Is something wrong?”

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 soft,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 6. ruby likes this fic lskjdvhmflgksfjdhmvglkjsdhflkvgmjhlekjfhdvlgskjfhv im a SIMP- The Devil's Got Nothing On Me (AIMERIC FIC LEGGOOOO) 4. there are lots of lil nuggets in here!!!!

Aimeric blinks, and all he can think is, you knew? He says, "I – I just." "I am a patient man," Guion breathes, "I support everyone in my household. Everyone. But Aimeric, you are truly testing my patience. Your mother came to me in tears, begging me to find you. Look at what you did to her! There was nothing I could say until we found you!" "I'm sorry," Aimeric whispers, looking at Loyse, "I'm-" "Look at me," Guion roars.

this conversation was inspired by a very miserable encounter with my boss lmfao. fuck that guy and fuck guion

The regent, blue eyes sparkling - and Aimeric has never thought eyes could look just like a summer sky until now - says to Guion but really to Aimeric, "I was thinking I could take little Aimeric riding tomorrow. Just the two of us." Loyse says, before Guion can speak, voice trembling with relief, "I think that's a wonderful idea, your Highness."

~dramatic irony~ lmfaoooooooooo. WE know of course that this is a bad thing, but it's always fun to have characters make bad choices that they have no idea are bad. i also did this briefly in "Like Me" with auguste's ex wife taking nicaise to church because she was so overwhelmed at home and he offered to help. of course, the regent is always happy to help out. evil evil evil

"-was worried it might be difficult for him." A soft, lilting laugh. The guards had said the regent was in the library, and then there is Guion, right there with him. Aimeric is suddenly angry, not sure why his father is with the regent, who is his and no one else's. The regent responds, "I daresay it's been perfectly easy. It seems you've done most of the work already."

i wanted to highlight the fact that it was aimeric's neglect that lead him to the regent in the first place. hence "youve done most of the work already" - guion by ignoring and neglecting aimeric created the perfect environment for the regent to sweep in and take advantage. like leaving food out btwn 40-140 F is a perfect breeding ground for bacteria LOL. the books touch on that but i wanted to make it explicit

He is so, so ashamed. It's unbearable, the thought of her kind eyes, the way she cried for him, the way he pushed her away. Before he'd left to join the prince's guard, she had taken his hand, kissed it, and said in a voice fragile as glass, "It's been such a long time since I've seen you smile like that," but in that moment he could think only of the regent's letter warm in his pocket.

6. honestly i know ive sounded super conceited this whole time but i kind of tear up whenever i read through the end of the fic lmfao. aimeric is just so fucking depressing as a character and i love that i really got to explore that in this fic. he really didnt have anyone, did he????? he's like a tragic greek character where you just watch him stumbling towards his inevitable end and it hurts the whole time. its even worse on the reread ANYWAYYYYYYY thats it. thanks so much for the ask anon!!!!!!! feel free to send me more!!!

#captive prince fanfic #captive prince #captive prince fanfiction #ask meme #capri fanfic

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whats-rambled-rambled · 4 years

Text

stuck in stories - Neil’s perspective

Neil x Reader

summary: the team is blowing off steam, drinking and playing a dare game

+ song: The Neighbourhood - Cry Baby

warnings: language, alcohol mention

author’s note: another request, thank you! It was quite tricky to switch the perspectives, but once that chaotic idiot let me inside his head, it was so much fun to follow his thoughts as the story progressed.

Even though I usually try to write Reader as gender-neutral as possible, this time I chose to insert fem!Reader directly, I hope you’re still going to enjoy it!

This is a one-shot, but as always - hits differently in you’re familiar with Neil and Reader from Stuck in Reverse series.

---

“You lot are a bunch of fucking children! Who wrote that, eh?!”

Neil’s mouth widened in a shit-eating grin. “Now now, Ives, we all know you want it,” he teased, snickering as he had to dodge an empty beer can Ives threw his way.

The whole team of rookies decided to blow off some steam after their first big mission together. Everyone was too tired to do anything too elaborate though. Instead of going out, the squad ended up on the floor of Wheeler’s hotel room, drinking and playing a dare game.

“What did I miss?”

Neil looked up and smiled as he watched his best friend sat down on the floor between him and Ives. He noticed how exhausted she was, even though she tried to hide it under the curious expression painted on her face.

He couldn’t help feeling so proud of how well she did during the mission. The truth was, he’d never doubted her abilities on the field. It might had been his idea for her to join Tenet alongside him (he still couldn’t believe that TP wasn’t more opposed to the recommendation; Neil took a mental note to ask him about that the next time they meet), but she quickly proved that she was a natural and made her way to the first response squad. There was a certain comfort in having her next to him when things got heated, because even though he trusted the rest of the guys to cover his six during the missions, he trusted her with his life.

Neil’s train of thoughts was interrupted by a sudden holler that filled the room

“The Universe has spoken!” cheered Wheeler, raising her beer as she winked at Neil. He furrowed his brows, not entirely sure what made her so gleeful about the change of events. Well, she probably was straight-up drunk at this point.

Neil switched his gaze to his friend, her bright eyes darting left and right, trying to make sense of the cackling people around her.

“You and your impeccable timing, huh?” he said and showed her a small piece of paper.

She squinted as she read the dare prompt. “...Kiss a person sitting on your right?” she glanced at Ives and flashed her teeth in a wicked grin. “I must admit, I kinda want to see that!”

“Oi, fuck you, mate!” Ives groaned and kicked her leg, making her giggle in response.

Neil nudged her shoulder, then tilted his head and smirked. “Well, but now you are the person sitting on my right.”

He watched as her eyes widened, a hint of blush creeping up her cheeks. She clenched her jaw and blinked twice.

“Shit,” she started laughing, but Neil was studying her closely. Her shoulders tensed slightly, she held her breath for a moment and shot a quick look in his direction.

The last thing he wanted was to make her uncomfortable in any way.

Neil put his hand on her arm and squeezed it reassuringly.

“Only if you’re okay with this.”

She looked at him, thankful for his concern. She chewed on her bottom lip. “Well, I mean…,” she hesitated and shrugged, but then her eyes lit up and she asked, “What’s the worst thing that could happen?”

Neil couldn’t find an answer to that.To him, it wasn’t a big deal. Because she was...her. His best friend in the entire world. The one he knew like the back of his hand. Always there, joined at the hip, as her mother used to call them. The one constant in his life.

...But there he was, feeling all sappy again. Oh, if only she knew, she would smack him in the blink of an eye.

He couldn’t resist trying to make her laugh, just to wipe any leftover tension remaining in the air.

Neil’s eyebrow quirked. “Try not to fall in love with me,” he said, leaning in her direction.

“Might be too late for that,” she mumbled.

Neil could swear a flash of panic clouded her face for a second, as if she realized what she’d just said. He hesitated.

“...what?”

Whatever that was though, it was already gone. She rolled her eyes and tittered. “You wish.”

...Sometimes, he did.

Or at least he used to, anyway.

Neil chuckled and shook his head. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and when their lips met, he closed his eyes, utterly mesmerized by the sensation. And then, just as he wondered if maybe he selfishly lingered for too long in this moment, her lips parted delicately.

His mind went blank.

Without giving it too much thought, Neil’s fingers slid on the back of her neck and he pulled her a bit closer. His heart was pounding in his chest as he lightly deepened a kiss.

The team’s collective “ooh” rolled through the room, breaking the spell.

She gasped quietly against his lips. Their gazes locked. Her expression was puzzled, the pupils dilated in her shimmering eyes, her cheeks flushed.

Neil tilted his head, his brows drew together in a silent question.

Are you okay?

She blinked slowly and nodded, the corners of her mouth curling into a coy smile.

Then, she turned her attention to a small pile of paper rolls on the floor in front of her. “All right, my turn, I hope that you idiots put more of those in there, I wanna smooch my girl Wheeler next!” she teased, hiding all the softness behind a smug grin.

Neil smiled to himself. She was impossible.

Later that night, he was laying on his bed wide awake, staring at the ceiling in the dark, thinking. His mind running a thousand different scenarios. Carefully examining all the what ifs.

Finally, he scoffed, rubbing his face with his palms. They were both tired, tipsy, and it was just a kiss, no need to overthink it.

Her sudden nervousness. That little smile. The softness of her lips. That quiet gasp. The strange look in her eyes.

...right?

He sighed.

Enough.

#neil tenet #neil tenet x reader #neil x reader #robert pattinson #tenet #neil tenet imagine #neil tenet fanfic #stuck in stories #stuck in reverse #tenet fanfic

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idontwanttospoiltheparty · 3 years

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Ive never really understood the hype surrounding Taylor Swift - I mean, I like some of her songs, but im not big on modern pop music so generally she just doesn’t really click for me. But I find it interesting that theres quite a few of Beatles/Swift blogs - like, they should have very little in common given that they’re from completely different eras and all, but somehow people seem to find a lot of semblance between the two. << and thats not me shitting on any of these blogs btw! Hope I don’t come off as rude or condescending there <3

Anyway, I was just wondering what got you into Taylor Swift? (I think ive read your post on how you got into the Beatles)

Hi, anon! Don't worry, I don't think you're rude or condescending! I agree they don't have too much in common and I don't really like their music for the same reasons.* I do have a playlist of Paul songs that have similar vibes to Taylor songs but it's mostly lyric-based. (Also the Beatles For Sale songs actually have quite the Taylor-tinge because Paul and John were not immune to Country Music)

I saw @stewy say once that a possible reason there are a good handful of us Swiftie-Beatle People on here is the appeal of a vast discography, which I agree with. If you have an artist/group with 200ish songs, it's just really fun to really dive into their work and explore all the facets. I also think: we're talking about the most popular band of all time and one of the highest-selling artists of the 21st century. They have a lot of fans so there's bound to be overlap, regardless of musical differences.

Moving on to your question: Getting into Taylor was an extremely personal experience for me and so my explanation is probably going to be kind of long so I'll put it under a read more.

It was spring-summer 2014, I was 15. I had heard the more popular songs of hers starting with Love Story and enjoyed pretty much all of them (I always found her hopelessly romantic point of view fascinating) but before I got a Spotify account in 2013 it was difficult in general for me to really get into an artists' entire discography so most of her songs had flown under my radar.

At the time, I was in this very weird sort of codependent online friendship with this girl who was basically my first real best friend and my first more or less crush. She was very depressed and I was very much in an I Could Fix Her™ mood, except that I obviously couldn't fix her and it made me feel like I wasn't enough and she had begun pulling more and more away from me and not replying to my messages and it was simply driving me insane. I consider it the saddest period in my life.

at some point during this period, I started trying to connect with other people (all online, I didn't know how to talk seriously to anyone IRL) and explaining the issues I'd been having, and one of the people who brought me joy and whom I actually felt not drained talking to was a huge swiftie. And IDK the fact that she loved Taylor and the fact that talking to her made my life better (and also the fact that I liked all the Taylor songs I knew at that point) just made me decide to give her a listen. And I think that whole "large discography discovery" phenomenon really helped me at the time (funny, because her discography has doubled since then). It gave me something new to focus on; there were just so many songs to discover, all telling such rich stories. I also have always loved bridges, they are almost always my favourite part of a song. And Taylor, god-bless her, loves them too and always puts her ALL in them. Like pretty much every bridge of hers brings the song to the next level, and even a lot of her songs I don't adore tend to have great bridges (Stay Stay Stay and Paper Rings come to mind). I think one of her most underrated qualities is how good she is at song structure and really building up an entire musical journey with a song. She also almost always adds cool ad-libs in her second and third choruses to keep the songs interesting and dynamic (or at least since she's gone pop). Anyways, back to the story: Then Taylor announced 1989 as her next album and released Shake It Off, and it was just like this great happy thing for me to look forward to, when I had very little keeping me going. The era was promoting a lot of happiness which in hindsight was slightly fabricated and it was just a really great thing for me to latch onto.

At the same time I was coming to realize that I was gonna have to pull away completely from my friend and all those break-up songs just… Hit, y'know? Like, some people seem to think Taylor's a one-trick pony because she likes to write break-up songs but to me, break-ups are just like this moment where you as a human can potentially feel every single emotion, and Taylor's songs have covered every facet of the concept. Here are some songs I remember from that period, that all meant a lot to me at the time because they explained my own pain to me so well:

Haunted, for the absolute terror you feel in the first moments you realize someone is probably gonna leave you. Come on, come on / Don't leave me like this / I thought I had you figured out / Something's gone terribly wrong / You're all I wanted.

I Almost Do, for the inner turmoil you feel when you know you have to stay away from someone for your own good but you really, really have to resist just running back to that person. We've made quite a mess, Babe / It's probably better off this way / And I confess, Babe / In my dreams you're touching my face / And asking me if I wanna try again / With you / And I almost do.

Last Kiss, for that absolute sadness that comes simply with remembering everything that was good and not comprehending how it could've possibly ended. I still remember / The look on your face / Lit through the darkness / At 1:58 / Words that you whispered / For just us to know / You told me you loved me / So why did you go / Away?

Forever and Always, for that feeling of desperately wanting to hold on to what you still have but at the same time realizing it probably isn't going to last and having no idea how to fix it, plus feeling like the other person doesn't even care. So here's to everything / Coming down to nothing / Here's to silence / That cuts me to the core / Where is this going? / Thought I knew for a minute / But I don't anymore.

Dear John, my all-time favourite song, for that moment you find clarity and realize that you deserved better and that you were headed in an extremely dark direction because of this other person. [DISCLAIMER: my friend did NOT abuse me nor did we have some inappropriate age difference. But the way she would ignore me and her general moodiness really affected my own mental health and self-worth problems] You paint me a blue sky / And go back and turn it to rain / And I lived in your chess games / But you changed the rules every day / Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone / Tonight / Well I stopped picking up / And this song is to let you know why.

(She's covered more aspects of break-ups in other songs [cheating, divorce, feeling awkward around your ex amongst others], these are just the ones I remember being really important to me when I was first getting into her)

She really helped me feel a lot less alone during one of my loneliest periods and I really can't thank her enough for that. Soon after this, I started crushing on a girl in my class and Taylor's love songs started to take on a new meaning for me as well.

What's crazy to me is, when she went on hiatus for a few years, a part of me thought maybe I'd grown out of her and no longer had much in common with her, but when reputation came out I was pulled right back into my love for her as a person and musician and then when Lover came out I found that she was still explaining feelings to me better than I ever could (specifically with the songs The Archer and Cornelia Street). And now with folklore and evermore she's simply absolutely perfected her story-telling and I find myself deeply moved even by the songs I don't directly relate to. I feel like she has this amazing ability to find the absolute truth in the specific. I've never had a summer romance with someone who already had a girlfriend and mostly wanted to go back to her, and yet the bridge of august feels so real to me, y'know?

Back when we were still changin' for the better Wanting was enough For me, it was enough To live for the hope of it all Cancel plans just in case you'd call And say, "Meet me behind the mall" So much for summer love and saying "us" 'Cause you weren't mine to lose

It's hard to explain but looking at this, like it's so much more than the story it's telling. It's talking about how when you're young you really need so little to feel satisfied; how sometimes the idea of someone maybe spending time with you is better than actually doing things with other people; and how if someone using you without much thought can make you feel like you're not even entitled to grieve what you lost. Sorry. I'll stop. Don't want to go insane.

So, all of this is very personal and unique to me, but I think really the main thing that draws me to her is how vulnerable and honest she is about emotions, how eloquently she can explain the pain of being alive to me. Some people think she isn't the strongest singer, but I think, much like John actually, one of her greatest assets is how good she is at projecting emotion. The song happiness is a song I think has some lyrically weak moments but her vocal performance on it is so raw and devastating that every single line works even when, looking at it on paper, it feels like it shouldn't.

Hope this rambling made sense to you, lmao?? I love talking about Taylor though so thanks for the ask! Also very open to giving song recs if you do want to check her out more but I won't unless solicited to lmao *Sort of off-topic but I do think there's a relation between my fascination with the Beatles' history and my love for a great break-up song. I like pain I guess :)

#ask #anon #taylor #mine

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inyoursheets · 3 years

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what inspired the warm water title? very curious, because I love the title and I’ve wanted to ask for a while! 💖

oh! thank you for asking! i can talk about warm water for days! wish i had the same energy with actually writing it lol

ok im a wordy person and apparently can’t answer a simple question -- i just started rambling about symbolism im using in this fic so let me put it below the cut

anyways!!!!

warm water is named after a BANKS song with the same title!

the lyrics i think i may love you / if you give me some time / maybe you’ll love me too open the first chapter

and it’s something that i thought relates to how beth feels at the beginning of the story, hoping rio will one day love her. the same way she loves him.

that said, there’s a reason chapter 14 is named after the lyrics i could never make you love me from SEVDALIZA’s song Hero bc i dont think you can MAKE someone love you

that’s kind of a... ok i dont think it’s a theme im exploring all that much with this fic but it’s just something i think about sometimes

anyway back to the actual title

warm water almost got a different name -- i changed the title at the last minute

im so very glad i did bc ive been messing with water-related imagery in the fic and it’s really helped me tether the story? just for myself?

it’s been really fun and helpful for me to use water as a metaphor or... symbol or literary device (or whatever the term is idek) for the relationship between beth and rio in this fic

using water to indicate their changing relationship and the blurry boundaries between friendship and something more

so i kept using water as a reminder of how they...stick to each other i guess?

ive also used anything relating to doors and windows to indicate the transition in the relationship between beth and rio

it just helps indicate closeness and distance between the two -- and the ever-present possibility of something more

ive given a few examples of how ive used doors/windows here! but there’s more references in the chapters ive pubished since then, like in chapter 8 the tiny bathroom window cracked open and in chapter 14, where bedroom door is gaping wide, bc hey, things are finally happening

but a slightly less on-the-nose way ive tried to show how beth and rio and their feelings for each other are always there, always sticking to them, is water

most explicitly (which i completely forgot about and wasn’t intentional) is in the first chapter with the leaking heart metaphor

but other occasions include chapter 8 at tequila night, which may be my favorite use of water in this fic

chapter 8 is a very moist chapter in general but im pretty fond of what i did at the end of the chapter

Shaking her hands in an attempt to dry them, she turns around, looking for the towel dispenser, only to find it empty.

first we get beth in the bathroom trying to process tequila night with aria, trying to dry her hands -- and trying to rid herself of her feelings for rio

She tries to dry her hands on her jeans—can’t, because they’re still wet from the rain, but she barely registers it, eyes glued to big hands wrapped around a body that’s not hers.

she tries but she can’t. not only is the towel dispenser empty, her jeans are still soaked from the previous rain. even if something external to her (a towel dispenser, or, say......thanh) would be there, the rain has been pouring all night, her whole body is still soaked. paper towels doesn’t stand a chance against years of loving someone.

When she makes it to Thanh’s apartment, she lets him towel her dry, before falling asleep in his crisp, white sheets.

annnnd we close the chapter with thanh drying her. coincidence? i think not. bc i deliberately made that happen.

anyways there’s also chapter 12, post-kiss, right after beth says it was a mistake

She looks at the floor. Notices there’s a spill of water—probably Rio’s doing, watering the plant that sits on their makeshift side table, the books they never read. Feels his eyes on her. Doesn’t know what would greet her, should she find the guts to look.

yes! water can spill like your messy feelings for your best friend! you fools!

like i said it’s mostly been useful for myself to idk keep track of where they’re at emotionally

but you’ll find a lot of references to water in this fic

basically im a hoe for water

i was pretty surprised to find how useful it was for me to have one or two symbols to keep coming back to. idk if it’s something that people notice when reading the fic. but it was very helpful for me!

in conclusion im very glad i ended up switching titles right before i shared the first chapter! it just ties together the watery imagery of the fic pretty nicely, i think

thank you for asking!!!!! anonymously (or not) ask me any question you’d like to know about me

#in other words yeah there will probably be some shower sex in the final chapter #you are so sweet to ask! absolutely wild to think you'd wanna know!#also soz you didnt ask for all this meta stuff #i got a little carried away there #im just very happy that i accidentally dicovered that using one (or two i guess) kind of metaphor/imagery/idk what to call it helped #i think i changed the title bc i re-fell in love with the song and the use of those lyrics for the first chapter #and bc a shorter title felt like a good choice #and then when disoovering the water metaphor stuff later it was just a very nice coincidence #i just keep realizing how appropriate the title is for the fic #but it deffo started bc of the song #my fic #ask games #ask #anonymous

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scoutception · 3 years

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Ys V: Lost Kefin, Kingdom of Sand review

The SNES was a console with many great RPGs. From popular classics like Final Fantasy VI, Chrono Trigger, Secret of Mana, and Earthbound, to hidden gems like Live A Live, Terranigma, Secret of Evermore, and Shadowrun, it’s a library with a lot of enjoyment to offer. Of course, not every RPG on the system fared so well, with quite a few mediocre and forgettable games scattered about, and unfortunately, Ys V, Falcom’s second attempt at revamping their classic series, after Ys IV backtracked to using the original bump combat system, is among these. Even today, about the only notable thing about Ys V to a modern fan is the current lack of any remake, unlike IV, or the similarly flawed Ys III, which was enough to rouse my curiosity and drive me to give it a fair playthrough. While I did have some fun with it, there’s certainly a reason there were no new Ys games for nearly a decade afterwards, and the specifics on why that is is what we’ll be looking at today. Note that while Ys V was never released outside of Japan, it does have an English translation patch, courtesy of Aeon Genesis, in what was apparently one of their most difficult hacking jobs ever.

Story: About 4 years after the events of Ys I & II, Adol Christin, or, as he’s come to be known, Adol the Red, arrives at the port town of Xandria on the continent of Afroca (yes, literally just fantasy Alexandria and Africa), rather suspiciously without his constant companion Dogi, and on an intact ship, at that. The normally aimless Adol has been lured to Xandria by rumors of a mysterious Phantom City, said to contain amazing riches. After being contacted by a wealthy merchant named Dorman, however, Adol is given the truth: the so called Phantom City is actually the lost city of Kefin, a prosperous nation that wielded tremendous power five hundred years ago through the power of alchemy. Recently, the Kefin desert has been expanding, consuming many towns within the area, and monsters have become numerous and aggressive, leaving Xandria at threat of becoming a barren waste. Wishing to gain access to the secrets of Kefin’s alchemy in order to halt this desertification, Dorman hires Adol to find six elemental crystals that are said to have the power to unlock the way to Kefin. Unfortunately for Adol, he really has his work cut out for him this time; many of Afroca’s citizens are fearful of him, due to ancient legends telling of a red haired man that will bring great havoc upon his arrival, and he’s harassed by a band of thieves called the Ibur Gang, who are out to take all the crystals for themselves. Though Adol makes several allies as well, such as Niena, the adopted daughter of the great adventurer Stein, who disappeared three years ago looking for the crystals himself, Massea, a woman who possesses knowledge of alchemy matched by few others, and Stoker, the spirit of a man who lived five hundred years ago, he also comes to find that several other forces are conspiring to use Kefin’s alchemy for their own destructive purposes, and that his client may be less trustworthy than he initially seems.

While most of the classic Ys games had quite cliche stories, if understandably considering their age, Ys V is actually a fair bit more original, with some pretty decent moments toward the end of the game. Unfortunately, before that point, most of the story just consists of just wandering around finding all the crystals, with the random interferences Adol encounters being the only things spicing it up, such as being forced to undergo a series of trials, or being blown off a raft by a sandstorm and washing up in a different town, keeping the tradition of boating accidents in Ys alive and well. Despite the amount of important supporting characters around, most of them barely even show up for most of the story, which makes for a pretty underdeveloped and forgettable cast, with only Terra of the Ibur Gang sticking out thanks to reappearing in Ys VI. It also just feels very disconnected from the rest of the series, with Dogi completely missing, and a lot of plot elements that feel out of place for Ys. According to the book Ys Complete Works, a lot of plot elements had to be left out of V, which certainly explains why it feels so underbaked, and leaves a lot of potential for improvement if a remake ever materializes, but until then, while a neat step forward for the writing of the series, Ys V’s story ultimately just doesn’t fare very well overall.

Gameplay: Here’s where things really start falling apart. The bump combat system is gone once and for all now, with Ys V using a dedicated attack button like Ys III, a system that remains in place even today. Unlike Ys III, however, the general gameplay is still much more similar to the other titles, overhead perspective and all, with the change in combat instead feeling a lot more like the 2D Zelda titles. Along with swing his sword, Adol can also now use his shield to actively block attacks. There’s also a jump button, though there’s not much platforming to be done. In theory, this isn’t a bad change at all, but in practice, combat is extremely stiff and awkward feeling. Unlike in Zelda, where Link always swings with a nice, wide arc, Adol is stuck jabbing things for most of the game instead. Each sword has a different range, with exactly one that actually has a proper swing, and the ones you’ll use the most, the second and last swords, only being capable of stabs. Annoying as this is, it wouldn’t quite be a deal breaker, if it wasn’t for how frustratingly precise you need to be when attacking. If you’re even slightly off center, you’ll just whiff. Meanwhile, attacks from enemies are given far more leniency, and even using the shield, you need that same level of precision in order to block anything. Needless to say, this gets very frustrating.

Aside from just attacking physically, magic, or to be more accurate, alchemy, is also available, with spells being made by collecting elemental stones and having an alchemist combine three at a time, with six different elements and eighteen possible spells, which can then be attached to Adol’s weapon and slowly charged up until the magic meter reaches 100, at which point attacking will cast the spell and drain MP and spell charge. While a neat idea in concept, in practice, almost everything you can make is downright awful. Not only are many spells nearly identical to each other, but most of them are just really, really bad, with absurdly long casting animations, during which enemies are free to continue moving around and out of the spell’s range, wasting both your time and MP. About the only useful spells are the ones that hit everything on screen, which take an absurd amount of MP, and the basic fireball, which has no casting animation, and is mandatory to get anyway. Several enemies will also just absorb magic entirely and gain HP, so using it can often be an outright detriment. Even worse, the game basically forces you to use magic by separating EXP into two different types: physical EXP, obtained from defeating enemies with the sword, or from bosses, which boosts physical power and defense and magic EXP, which is gained from killing enemies with magic, and boosts magic power and defense, meaning if you ignore magic, any enemy using magic attacks will quickly wreck you. The stones needed to make the spells, along with a few other items like coins to be sold, are also mostly hidden across the different areas, and can only be found by rubbing up against every wall and object in sight, which is really annoying, and you really can’t afford to miss any of them if you want to make most of the available spells.

Bosses are pretty dumb too, with a lot of them just coming down to standing in one places and stabbing until they die, chugging heal potions until they die, and considering the most basic healing item heals 60% of Adol’s HP, it’s not hard to do, either. In general, the game is overly forgiving. While still pretty annoying, the level system means it is pretty easy to end up overleveled with physical and magic levels combined, and rather than just dropping a set amount of gold, enemies instead drop gems, which can be sold to merchants for varying amounts. While this wouldn’t make much of a difference on paper, the gems are worth so much, and certain merchants have high enough exchange rates, that you can make a lot of money pretty easily, and considering the third and second best weapons in the game are sold in the first two towns, it’s even easier to break the game wide open. Most areas are also really short, with several dungeons literally just consisting of three or four small rooms, so you’re rarely ever in serious danger traversing them, with most of their length just coming from forced backtracking. While an improvement from how grind heavy most of the early Ys games were, the easiness just makes the experience even less engaging, to the point Falcom had to make a second version of the game, titled Ys V Expert, due to complaints.

Graphics: The visuals of Ys V, to put it bluntly, barely even resemble the rest of the series, to the point it’s basically indistinguishable from any other SNES RPG. It doesn’t look outright bad, but whereas Ys usually uses a super deformed style with lots of colors, Ys V uses a more realistically proportioned style with really dark, dull colors, to the point that Adol’s usual distinctive bright red hair looks more brown than anything. Most areas are pretty forgettable, with pretty generic caves and ruins, but there are a few neat areas, like the rainy marshlands, which actually carry a pretty strong atmosphere, and the bosses look kinda cool, if a bit samey. You also get to customize Adol a bit, being able to change the color of his clothes and armor in the menu, along with his hair color, if you find a hidden NPC fairly late in the game, with the default option actually giving him his usual hair color. Overall, though, the visuals are still pretty unspectacular.

Music: In yet another change from series tradition, Ys V forgoes the usual rock style of the soundtrack, and instead takes a much more orchestral approach, again making it stand out even less from its competition, only retaining a few traditions like the item collection music and the Theme of Adol. In this case, however, I can’t complain that much about the change, because the resulting soundtrack, in usual Falcom fashion, is still fantastic. From the peaceful Foresta Village, to the melancholy Misty Lake, to the mysterious Oasis, to the dark Sand Castle, to the adventurous Wilderness, there are a lot of great tracks to be found, and it’s absolutely worth looking up the soundtrack even if the rest of the game would drive you away.

Conclusion: Overall, Ys V is not recommended. It’s not an outright bad game, and can still be decently fun. It’s short enough that it’s not much of an investment to play through, and it was still an important step that allowed Ys VI to fully modernize the gameplay of the series. As a whole though, it’s still a pretty underwhelming and clunky experience that’s almost completely divorced from the rest of the series. You’re not missing much by leaving it alone, and perhaps with the release of Ys IX, a remake of V could be next on the schedule. Either way, that’s about all I can even say about this game. Till next time. -Scout

#snes #falcom #ys #action rpg #game review #jrpg #long post

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scandeniall · 4 years

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mirrors for friends ch//1

Pairing: TBD x reader (repost bc its not showing up in tags and ive had ppl check too sigh)

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Summary: Youre in a band, Mirrors For Friends with your college best friends Kuroo, Iwaizumi, and Atsumu. They're chaotic, your chaotic but you guys are on your way to the top together. Check a/n at end.

warnings: This IS multichapter. recreational marijuana mention. Everyone is over 21, tags will be added as needed but they're adults what do you expect.

wc: 1253

Inspiring playlists (updated as i find stuff) Apple music | Spotify

Ch. 1 // Mirrors For Friends: The Intro

The air was a mixture of sounds. Instruments being prepped, jokes being thrown, random conversations and the occasional song that played in the background. Just another day in Mirrors For Friends, well for everyone except for you. Earplugs in and an eye mask on, you’d been laying on the dingy couch since you arrived at the bar hours prior. Of course you just had to get a migraine on a day where your band had a show. It was about two hours to showtime, and you were just as good as dead. For once, you were thankful that you had your bassist, Atsumu to cover at least some of your vocals.

Atsumu, Miya. The youngest member remains a complete pain in your ass, but you couldn't see your life without him in it. He was the life of the party, and had been your party buddy during your early 20s. The one always down for a good adventure. You could always rely on him to tell you the honest truth, although it had taken a while to get past his overly blunt nature. Once you did, you saw the resident “pretty boy” for the dork that he was. The one who gets pouts whenever the conversation is moving too fast and he can’t think of a retort fast enough. The one who absolutely melted at the sight of food and would even share some of his brother’s famous onigiri with you. When he's not plucking bass strings he works as an assistant volleyball coach for the local high school. Your love for your band mate had eventually replaced your first meeting with the basest. A meeting than ended in you wanting nothing more than to wipe his stupid smirk off with your fist. You had just started your second year of university, completely minding your business until a stray volleyball made its way to the back of your head. Before anyone could even apologize, you’d manage to throw a few curses at the group of rowdy boys. Your future band mate had come over to apologize but ended it with “maybe you should've been paying more attention.” After flicking him off you never thought you’d see him again, until you were formally introduced by none other than your drummer.

Hajime, Iwaizumi. The drummer of Mirrors For Friends. The oldest member of your quartet. There was only one year between you and him, but two years between him and Atsumu. Iwa, is the backbone of the band. The most responsible one, having taken care of a drunk you more times than you’d like to admit. If your feet were ever hurting, he’d be the one to give you a piggy back. He definitely looked the most bad ass of you all, with two sleeves of tattoos. Despite that he has a soft spot for the band. He's the most responsible of the band, but you learned that despite that nature, he knew how to have fun. He’d definitely supplied an underage you with alcohol before. When he’s not playing with the band, he's a tattoo artist, and has tattoo’d every member of the band multiple times. In fact, he was the only person you trusted to tattoo you. You’d met him midway through your first year of university, when he was an apprentice. Despite being 19, he’d already had a full sleeve and a shiny eyebrow piercing. In his attempts to calm you down, you learned that he was only a year above you. He was definitely more calming than the jerk that had dragged you to the tattoo shop in the first place. That person being your guitarist.

Tetsurou Kuroo, the guitarist of Mirrors For Friends. He was one of the first people you’d met in university where he ended up being your across neighbor. You’d had your door open in an attempt to get some air circulation in the stuffy dorm, when he noticed your guitar. Full of stickers, it looked used and he was curious. After, finding out the two of you had a common interest in music, the two of you became best friends. He’d ended up being the brother you never asked for. His teasing is similar to Atsumu, however he knew how to keep up. You two became nearly inseparable. He was the member you tended to confide in first, because it was just natural. The one always down to just vibe. You remember the many nights spent in private study rooms, just writing and talking music together. You quickly found out that his writing skills were incredible, not only that but he had the best ear for composing of any of your band mates. Some of your favorite pieces came from writing sessions with just the two of you. When he isn’t antagonizing your band, he works as a TA for a science class at your university. He decided about a year ago to go back to school for a higher degree in biochemistry.

Then there was you. Lead singer, keyboardist, and occasional guitar player when you felt like it. At 26, you’d been in the band since you were 20, and you wouldn’t change it for the world. You loved writing, you loved performing and you loved your boys. Even now when you could feel napkins that you had no doubt were greasy pizza stained ones being thrown at you. It took for the fifth one to hit your forehead to finally sit up, removing both your earplugs and eye mask. Groaning at the combination of fluorescent lighting and noise you shot death glares at your band mates. Who were all miraculously just standing next to one another, pretending to have just been doing nothing but talking. “Would you three do me a favor, and drive off a fucking cliff.”

“I told them to stop,” is what Iwaizumi said, but the smirk on his face said he played a role just like your other idiots.”

“Dude you threw the last one!” Kuroo chimed in.

“Yeah well Atsumu started it”

“What the fuck Iwa- selling me out”

If it weren't for the pounding behind your eyes you might’ve been amused and the usual bickering between the boys. Afterall, it was never serious. If only you could enjoy it.

“Would the 3 overgrown toddlers shut up.” Burying your face into your hand’s you felt the couch dip beside you in the now empty space, and another voice picked up from across the room.

“Yo- what's with the attitude today,” your bassist questioned. He had settled himself on a smaller couch, eyes narrowed on your miserable form. Once he heard the mention of a migraine, his gaze softened. “Tsumu, I’m gonna need to to sing a little more today alright. '' The younger boy nodded, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. He mentioned something about going to look for a pen and paper, so you two could outline a plan and to make sure you had a stool for tonight.

“You wanna go smoke? It should help a little,” the body next to you moved and you looked up to see Kuroo, offering a hand.. “It’s a spot in the shade out back, c’mon.” You took the hand and before you could head out your last bandmade stopped you.

“I have enough time to go pick up some Advil and maybe some caffeine. Don’t smoke too much, you know how strong Kuroo’s shit is. We still have a show tonight.”

“Don’t worry daddy Iwa, I’ve got our beloved lead singer. We’ll be fine.”

-----

a/n: alright so i’ve been inspired by samwrites Elixir (which YES 100000/10 recommends) AND sam has had an anon talking band au’s lately AND i saw a msby band au edit on twitter so i cracked out my keyboard.

ok but seriously, idk which guy im gonna end up doing so for now itll just be band dynamics, and then whoever sparks my interest or whoever is voted on after a few parts will win. I did a randomizer, got a winner and started but then started feeling the other possibilities. Anyways whoever is not the chosen ones its just friendship, no love triangles and shit. But whoever wins, just know I have a potential plot for ALL ((((im just too un-dedicated and busy with summer college courses to actually fully commit to all of them)))

lastly, this is me again experimenting w/ diff ways of writing so bare with me AND if anyone cares i could make a taglist.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu imagines #hq x reader #atsumu x reader #kuroo x reader #iwaizumi x reader #hq imagines #mirrors for friends

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snickletastic · 5 years

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My Boyfriend's Back {Jason Todd x Reader + Batfam}

warnings~ SEXUAL ASSAULT, uncomfortable situations, seriously don’t read this if you have any problems with sexual assault scenarios!!! cursing, and extreme angst.

summary~ inspired by the song my boyfriend’s back, by the angels, reader is waiting for jason to get back home from a mission, but comes upon some serious problems when a boy begins throwing accusations with her name in them around the school and super duper angsty things follow.

a/n~ im back! hi! at first i must admit i felt really rusty at first when writing this, but i cranked this whole thing out in one sitting because i was having so much fun. i actually love how this came out, and ive had it in mind for some time now. its a bit cliche, but cliches arent always bad. hope you guys like it! :)

54 days of school left until graduation. Then that’s it. You’re finally out of highschool. You rapidly tapped your pencil against your desk while staring at the old wall clock, daydreaming about summer and the beach and finally getting to spend time with Jason again. He graduated last year, leaving you behind to fend for yourself in a school of vile beings. Lucky asshole, you thought to yourself. You kept your relationship under wraps because of the infamous reputation the big bad Jason Todd had at your school. You both knew people would be scared of you if they knew he was your boyfriend, so you decided to keep it a bit of a secret. It made things more exciting, anyways. As the clock continued to march towards the time the bell, your pencil tapping became faster and faster. That is, until the boy in front of you grabbed the pencil from your hand.

“Hard to focus when someone is beating up an innocent pencil behind me,” Jacob sarcastically whispered, careful not to catch the attention of the grumpy math teacher.

“Sorry,” you apologized, “I totally tuned out…but let’s be real. You totally weren’t focusing on the lesson to begin with,” you teased.

“Well let’s just say it wasn’t the pencil distracting me in the first place,” he said in a low voice, “you’ve been breathing down my neck for the past 20 minutes.”

You blushed, “I-sorry, I-,” you stammered, “I-”

“Don’t be sorry,” Jacob interrupted, “sorta turned me on,” he snickered at your facial expression and gently put the pencil back into your hand, then turned back around in his seat.

Absolutely baffled by the interaction you just had, you sat there dumbfounded for a full minute. Your intentions were definitely not to flirt with him, you really just breathe from your mouth sometimes. You scratched your head and cringed at the thought of Jacob possibly liking you. He wasn’t bad looking at all; maybe he was even sort of cute. But you certainly did not need a boytoy, because your boyfriend probably wouldn’t approve. Only 3 more days until he returns from that damn mission. You shook your head to yourself and sunk into your seat. Should I tap his shoulder and tell him straight up that I’m not interested? you thought to yourself. Deciding it was best to do it in order to avoid any more awkward encounters, you went to gently tap his shoulder and assure him you had a boyfriend. But before you could, the bell rang and everyone stood up and funneled out of the classroom.

Jacob stood up from his seat and picked up the books on your desk, “I’ll carry your books to your car, m’lady.”

You awkwardly smiled at his pure intentions, “Um-thanks.”

He followed you out to the school parking lot, and the two of you searched for a black BMW. Alfred decided to take it upon himself to drive you to and from school way back in freshman year, but he had never been late before. You worried for a brief moment before checking your phone to see a text message from the man himself.

I’m very sorry, Miss. Y/N, but I will not be able to pick you up from school today. Master Bruce has requested that I help with the surveillance of the most recent mission. You can call for a taxi, and once you get home I will repay you the money.

Alfred always types out the longest of text messages, and you laughed whenever he sent a paragraph to you about where the car is parked or asking what you would like from the grocery store.

“So….no ride coming?” Jacob awkwardly bounced up and down on his heels.

“No, I guess not,” you smiled. Before you could tell him that you would call a taxi, he spoke quickly.

“Great! I’ll give you a ride home, then.”

“You really don’t need to,” you tried to decline his offer, preferring a taxi or Uber rather than an extremely awkward ride home with the teenage boy.

“Nope. I do. Come on,” he carried your books to a silver car and put them in the backseat. He gently removed the backpack from your shoulder and put it next to the books. Then, he opened the passenger door to allow you to get inside. He was being awful chivalrous, which was kind, but it still made you uncomfortable. You almost felt as if you were leading him on, but then decided to speak your mind after he drove you home. It would definitely avoid a tense car ride.

Jacob pulled up to the Wayne Manor, then put the car in park. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, clearly hesitating to ask you something.

You didn’t want to wait around to hear what it was. “Listen, Jaco-”

Before you could talk, he smashed his lips against yours and put his hand around the back of your hair. You attempted to pull away, but he pushed your head closer to his. Finally you pushed him off of you, furious at what he had done.

“Are you fucking serious right now?” You yelled at him.

He blinked a few times, confused, “What?”

“What?! You practically attacked me! I don’t even know you! I have a boyfriend!” You threw your arms in the air, bewildered and upset.

“Oh come on, we both know that I’m way better than whoever your boyfriend is,” he snarled, “I know you want it.”

You scoffed at him then opened the door to get out, but he grabbed your arm, “Wait-” he tried to stop you, but you broke out of his grip. You slammed the door and angrily marched towards the steps of the manor.

“Your backpack!” he yelled from the window.

“Forget about it! Fuck you!” you didn’t bother to turn around and continued to walk towards the manor.

He turned his car into the driveway and threw your books and book bag out of the window, and into a puddle of water from the rainstorm the day before. You turned to see your stuff soaked in dirty water, and your math papers destroyed. Holding back tears, you turned away and walked into the front doors, slamming them behind you.

This caused Tim to turn around from the TV and look at you. He had stayed home sick from school, and elected to watch HGTV shows instead. Springing up to his feet and dropping his blanket, he hurriedly walked towards you to ask what had happened. It would be a bad idea to tell anyone in this family, because even though Jacob was a cunt, you didn’t want to see him get beaten to a pulp. So you ignored Tim’s questions and sulked up the stairs with him following closely behind you. “Y/N-” he whispered sadly, as you slammed the door to your bedroom behind you.

The next morning, the sun shined brightly in your eyes, causing you to groan and pull the pillow over your head. You felt the pillow being pulled from your face, and saw Tims face, staring back down at you. “Y/N. Look, I understand if you don’t want to talk about whatever happened, but could you at least tell me who threw your backpack into the mud?”

You rubbed your eyes and sat up, looking at your adoptive brother. With a gentle pat on his shoulder, you assured him, “Don’t worry about it. Really,” you made your best attempt to change the subject, “Are you feeling better?”

Tim noticed you dodging the question, but felt defeated. “Yeah. I’m definitely going to school today,” he said, eyeing you.

You could hear that his nose was still stuffy and noticed how red his eyes looked, but you knew it would be useless to argue with him. The two of you got dressed and ate breakfast, and Alfred then drove you both to school. He offered you back the taxi money, but you gently shook your head, “No thank you.”

Tim was noticeably walking way too close, and constantly checking your facial expression to ensure that you were alright. You appreciated how much he cared, but were starting to get a little annoyed. As the two of you walked through the halls, you noticed how everyone was turning their heads to look at you. Two of the cheerleaders even stopped their conversation, to look you up and down. At first you thought nothing of it, until a random boy came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist.

You flailed for a moment, being lifted by a boy twice your size, and let out a screech.

“Me next! Me next!” the guy shouted, “Show Ricky what a bad girl you are! Are you as good at giving head as they say you are?”

Before you could elbow him in the face, Tim knocked the guy down and punched him in the face. You landed on the floor, sobbing as the entire school laughed at you. Once you looked up, past Tim pummeling the the asshole, past the cheerleaders, and past the security guards pushing through the crowds, you met eyes with Jacob, with a wide grin on his face. You knew what he did. And you knew what you needed to do.

It took 3 security guards, 4 of the biggest teachers, and 2 janitors to pull Tim off of the boy who grabbed his sister. Even when they all held him down at once, he was still giving them a run for their money. Eventually you both went to the office, then got sent home immediately. Bruce picked you up this time, and he was not as warm as Alfred would have been on the ride home. You and Tim sat in the backseat, sulking. Every once in awhile, you’d silently reach over and massage Tim’s knuckles, because you knew how sore they had to have been.

When you all got back to the manor, Tim immediately went down to the batcave to get his hands bandaged by Alfred. Bruce sat in the massive living chair by the fireplace, seemingly distracted by how he’s meant to react to his daughter getting attacked and how quickly Tim lost his temper. The house really was silent.

You snuck up to your room, and dialed your boyfriend. You knew you weren’t meant to call him on missions, because you always distracted him too much. But before the first ring could even finish, he answered the phone call.

“Hey princess,” his deep voice soothed your emotions.

“…hi,” You fought to hold back tears. You missed him so much.

“What’s wrong?!” His tone changed within seconds and you could almost hear his heart rate going up.

“Nothing….I just,” you started to cry, “I really really miss you, Jay.”

He stayed quiet for a moment, “Only two days,” he reassured you, “then I’ll be back. And you know what? We can watch your favourite movie and eat your favourite snacks- I’ll bring you back some candy from this place.”

“What place?”

“You know I’m not allowed to tell you until I’m home,” he sighed, “but maybe I’ll take you out to eat at that Italian restaurant you love so much…Alfonso’s?”

You smiled through your tears and played with the hem of your shorts, “I’d really like that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Jason’s end of the call was quiet again, but he finally spoke, “Something else is wrong, baby.”

You stayed silent.

“What happened? You know you can tell me anything.” You heard his voice tense up, “Did someone hurt you?”

“Not exactly.”

“What do you mean by that?” He suddenly got worried.

“Jason I promise I would never ever cheat on you. You know that. This guy at school told everyone I had sex with him. Tim and I were walking in the hall-and-and- this guy- he just grabbed me…I-he,” your voice trailed off as you began to cry again.

Jason stayed quiet, but you could hear his heavy breathing.

“Please say something. Oh, Jay…please talk to me,” you begged through your tears.

“I’m coming home right now.” Then he ended the phone call. You threw your phone across the room and began to sob. He sounded so angry, but you couldn’t tell if it was towards you or the boy. Bruce barged into your room, his eyes wide in panic. You looked up at him, but then quickly away, ashamed.

He swiftly sat next to you on your bed and wrapped his arms around you as you cried gently into his shirt.

You heard a loud banging, waking you up. You sat up to look at your alarm clock; 2:46 a.m. The rain was pounding against the glass window, so you just assumed the storm was causing the loud noises. Again, you heard a loud bang, but then a booming voice coming from downstairs. You hastily grabbed an old baseball bat that Dick once gave you for moments exactly like this one, and you ran to see what was happening.

Instead of being met by a criminal, Jason was standing in the middle of the entrance room, drenched in rain. Water was dripping from his hair onto the marble floor. Alfred stood next to him in a robe, trying to calm him down. Bruce and Jason were arguing, loud enough to wake people up on the other side of Gotham. When you stepped down the stairs, they all stopped to look at you. Jason dropped his duffle bag on the floor and opened his arms to you. Swiftly, you ran down the stairs and leaped into them, wrapping your arms around his neck and breathing in his cologne. He lifted you from the floor and squeezed you, unaware of his own strength. You didn’t dare complain; though. You longed for this hug for two months, now.

After what seemed like an eternity, Jason put you down and held your face, staring deeply into your eyes. “Princess, I need you to tell me exactly who this boy is, okay? Do you know where he is?” He spoke so gently, so sweetly, about something so terrible that he was about to do.

Bruce intervened by putting his arm between the two of you, “No, Jason,” he scolded.

Jason’s soft demeanor vanished and he became hostile, “Look what he fucking did to her! The fact that you have done nothing but sat on your ass since this happened doesn’t fucking surprise me,” he spat.

Bruce remained calm but you could see that the words bothered him, “You can’t go around killing teenagers, Jason.”

Jason narrowed his eyes, “Joker did.”

Bruce’s eyes grew, then he shut them tightly, shaking his head. “Alright. As long as you don’t kill him,” Bruce demanded.

Jason hesitated, before nodding. Then he looked back at you, and his face was filled with a terribly sad emotion. Not anger. Not frustration. It was guilt.

He planted a kiss on your forehead, then took your chin into his hand, gently pushing it upwards to look at him, “I’ll be right back.” He then took a chocolate bar out of the pocket of his jacket and put it in your hand. Before you could say anything, he was walking out of the door and into the storm.

masterlist

#jason todd #redhood #jason todd imagine #jason todd x reader #jason #red hood #batfamily #batman #batfam #batboys #batman comics #jason todd x y/n #bruce wayne #tim drake #tim drake imagine #dc #dc comics #angst

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kittybennett · 4 years

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your choice | anti-soulmate au where they weren't born with soul-mates and they meet in a group where other people who don't have them meet-up. and they come to the conclusion that they're not weirdos for not having them. cause they have the group and each other jhskfjksdf - @malcolmbrights

ok i’m sorry this turned REALLY long but here we go.

aka: five times ev didn’t go to support group and one time she did

Evelyn Reyes spends much of her sixteenth year of life staring into reflective surfaces in the vain hope that she will find a soulmark has bloomed on her skin while she wasn’t looking. Most people are born within them, though it isn’t entirely unheard of for the matching tattoos to make themselves known in the years between childhood and adolescence. A teenager already, Evelyn is a rarity, late even by the most generous of time frames, and this makes her a repository for her peers’ pity. She takes to wearing long sleeves even in the sweltering heat of summer to avoid questions, but finds that it’s all people want to talk to her about. No matter how they phrase their comforting platitudes or prying questions, it all sounds the same to her.

Are you scared that you might be utterly alone? How relieved I am that it’s you and not me.

Evelyn hates them all, but most of all she hates the guidance counselor who calls her into her office to offer ‘support’ and gives Evelyn a flyer for a group of people with deceased soulmates. It’s not the same, the counselor explains, but those in the group might understand what Evelyn is going through. They can sympathize on how horrible it is to not have a soulmate.

Her cheeks burn hot. She shoves the flyer into the pocket of her hoodie and begs to be excused. On her way home she tears the flyer into little pieces and throws it over a bridge, watching the pieces of paper flutter and land on the river below while angry, shameful tears prick at her eyes.

After that, she stops checking her body for new marks.

ii. The first man that Evelyn loves also takes pains to keep covered up. Unlike Evelyn, he actually has something to hide: a bright blue tattoo of a bird in flight. The space where it adorns his forearm is usually bandaged lest Jamie’s eager admirers find a way to replicate it and render the mark useless.

When they lie together at night, Evelyn traces the mark. It’s the closest she’s ever been to one that didn’t belong to either of her parents, and even at a young age she knew not to ask questions about theirs.

“They weren’t soulmates.” Evelyn tells her lover one night. “His died when they were little — childhood sweethearts. And my mom has never talked about hers, but I know he’s gone too. She wouldn’t have married my father or had me if she thought he was still out there.”

What she doesn’t confess hangs in the air. Jamie addresses it anyway.

“You know that’s not the reason you’re like this, right?”

Evelyn is silent but the finger that was tracing his mark stills.

“Evelyn. It’s just bad luck. Seriously.” He tilts her face so he can stare into her eyes. Jamie is rarely serious, so this sudden sobriety makes it difficult for Evelyn to hold his gaze, but she does. “Bad things happen to lots of people, and it’s not the end of the world. My cousin is widowed, and he remarried and—“

Before he can finish his story, Evelyn kisses him. And kisses him. Her distraction works.

That night Evelyn prays for the first time in well over a decade: asking for a blue bird on her forearm. ( She breaks up with Jamie a week later. Better to get out with her heart mostly intact. She never does find out what happened to that cousin of his, though sometimes she wonders if she should have let Jamie finish. )

iii.

“Would it kill you to write something happy for once? Just one ballad about summer love, or getting dicked down?”

Evelyn frowns. “You know I’m not the bubblegum pop type.”

“That’s for sure.” Her producer sighs. “Listen, you’re good. But can’t you just write a love song that isn’t super … intense and depressing? Give us something fun and light-hearted for once.”

“What if I haven’t felt that?”

“Then pretend, or talk to someone who has.” The producer fixes her with a look between pity and sternness. “Seriously, Evie. Don’t come back here without a love song. And get a therapist.”

Evelyn returns in a week with a song about the thrill of a first glance and the intense flush of devotion that follows it. The song spends several weeks on the charts and goes viral after someone creates a Tik Tok dance for it, though none of that matters to sole inspiration for the song: Evelyn’s new cat.

iv.

Her second-ever happy love song is not as commercially successful, but it is inspired by a human being this time. Naomi is brilliant, and funny, and the most talented actress of her generation (according to a Vanity Fair correspondent but Evelyn is inclined to agree). The first time she refers to Evelyn as “the love of my life”, Evelyn spends the better part of a week repeating the moment in her mind.

Naomi really should have thought to mention the caveat.

Three years later, Evelyn laughs at something a precocious child on a television program says and asks, “What would you do if your child asked you that?”

Naomi shakes her head. “Pour myself some scotch and direct them towards their other mom, or dad.”

Evelyn is frozen.

Other mom or dad. Not you. Not the love of her life. Because Evelyn is only the love of Naomi’s life … for now.

Evelyn turns off the television program. “You don’t think we’ll raise children together?”

Naomi looks sheepish. To her credit, she picks her words more carefully this time. “Evelyn … be realistic. I love you so much but - someday I’m going to meet the real thing. You can’t ask me to say no to them for you.”

Evelyn feels the same hot shame she did when she was sixteen and finally accepting that she had no soulmate and never would. This time she won’t cry, not in front of Naomi. “I’m a person. Not your training wheels.”

She moves out the next day.

Dating apps aren’t much different, as it turns out. She has way too many messages from people who assume that being bisexual means she wants nothing more than to fulfill the threesome fantasies of heterosexual couples, and even more messages from people who think that because she is “unmarked”, she isn’t looking for anything serious. To be unmarked is to be written off entirely as a romantic partner, or at least as a serious one.

She deletes the dating app, but not before she posts a screenshot of her DMs to her Instagram with a caption finally addressing the rumors that she is unmarked.

I've always been private regarding the subject, but I owe it to anyone else like me to be more candid about my experiences as someone without a soulmark. Yes — I am unmarked, but not unworthy.

That night she’s flooded with messages from others like her, who thank her and repost her message. It’s humbling and uplifting all at once and Evelyn is guilty that she didn’t do it sooner. She responds to as many as she possibly can.

( One message stands out among the rest:

@ teorror: hey @reyevie - if you’re in nyc, my support group would love to have you! we meet at [ …. ] )

vi.

In the end, it’s not another rejection or loneliness or even solidarity that leads Evelyn to finally try talking to others like her.

It’s pettiness, and a lot of annoyance.

A former classmate posts a soulmate announcement on Facebook in which the caption describes meeting her soulmate for the first time as the single most important day of anyone’s life, the center of the human experience.

It makes Evelyn grit her teeth.

She is indignant that anyone would not consider the pain and feelings of inadequacy those words might cause for unmarked youth like the ones she’s received messages from, or her younger self. And she realizes with a pang of regret: it’s not just social media, or dating apps. It’s also the songs that people like Evelyn have written, the films and books that saturate the market that convince everyone that no other kind of love or measure of happiness matters when compared to romantic love.

As much as Evelyn craves it, she refuses to accept that it should overshadow every other aspect of her life.

She scrolls through her messages until she finds the one from @teorror again, inviting her to join his group and decides to show up and prove her point, even if she’s the only one who knows it.

To her initial horror, the group is small. There are only three people there, and Evelyn is just about ready to turn on her heel and walk away rather than join such an intimate gathering when a man bolts from his chair with an overjoyed expression on his face.

“Hey! You actually came!” He goes to her, and offers his hand to be shaked. “Can I call you Ev? Guys! This is Ev! The singer I was telling you guys about? Come on, sit down.”

The man she’s guessing is Teorror (Teo, she’ll later learn) guides her towards the others and the other man produces a chair for her and introduces himself as Rico.

Mercifully, they don’t ask her to introduce herself first or talk first. The woman next to her (Claudia) does, then Rico and Teo. Eventually they all turn to Evelyn.

“You don’t have to share if you’re not ready, Ev.” Claudia says, adopting Teo’s nickname for Evelyn. “The first time can be overwhelming.”

Ev nods, but feels she should try anyway. “I’m Evelyn — and as I guess you’ve figured, I’m also an unmarked.”

Immediately, a shadow crosses over the faces of the others. Evelyn stops.

“We try not to use that word.” Rico says gently and Evelyn can tell he’s taking care to not embarrass her. “It isn’t good to define ourselves by what we don’t have, rather than what we do.”

“Tell us about you. Teo says you’re a singer?” Claudia coaxes helpfully.

Teo offers Evelyn another wide smile. “I used to call myself leftovers. Or spare parts. I thought it was really funny, you know? But they’re right: focusing on what you lack just sets you up for more pain.”

It’s something to think about. She’s back for the session next week.

As the months go by, she sees the group outside of meetings too, starting with a potluck at Teo’s and leading to drinks and mechanical bull rides with Rico, or sightseeing with Claudia. At first she wonders what it might be like to share a soulmark with one of them … to find a soulmate after all … but eventually, she nearly stops thinking of the marks altogether.

Those fantasies end entirely after another night of dancing, as they’re having greasy fast food and Teo slings his arm around her as he tells a story that requires exaggerated facial expressions and wild hand gestures. She laughs and almost misses the moment where Claudia returns to the table with her order and slides her a crispy taco (Ev’s favorite) and Rico picks at the tomato (which Ev’s hates) and places it beside his own burger so that Evelyn won’t have to. They know her well, she realizes, better than anyone. They love her better than anyone …and suddenly Evelyn feels overwhelmed with her love for them in return.

Here is the intimacy she’s been craving her whole life: a love that doesn’t ask her to define herself by it, or insist upon its sole importance. It simply accepts, and gives.

Evelyn can only wonder why she ever thought this wouldn’t be enough.

#long post for ts #bc i dont remember if readmores show up on mobile #evelyn reyes*#tag later #mw*

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placesthatchangedpeople · 4 years

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Testimony about Vista RTC in Utah

Hi, my name is Paloma, and I am a survivor of Vista RTC located in Magna Utah. I am writing this now as a 23 year old, married with a child, and expecting another one next month. The life I lead today is uncomplicated, but that was not always the case. I was a “troubled teen” and had started drugs- my parents sent me to wilderness and Vista RTC as a way for me to get help. Only help is not what I got. The moment I was forcibly put on a plane by a company called “Crisis Interventions”, my life was changed forever. Here I am all these years later , just so fucked up over what happened to me. There’s so much that went on I can’t even begin to tell it all today but I will outline some of the abuse I endured.

I was not allowed to speak for weeks and weeks at a time. This is a punishment called RO (also known as re orientation) where you are not allowed to speak with any of the other kids. If you get caught talking to the other kids, they will also be put on RO. Being a young teenager and not being able to speak for weeks on end would drive me crazy. It was the worst thing they could do- take away your voice. I fought for a long time , tried to engage in small acts of defiance, but after not being allowed to speak for about 3 months I gave up and submitted. You should see my journals and how fucked up they are. I literally prayed for anyone to come save me but no one did.

if you try and leave they will strip you down, put you in bright pink scrubs and put you on something called “10 foot” it means you have to be 10 feet away from all the other kids at all times, no speaking and no eye contact. If you are caught looking at a 10 foot you will be dropped to RO. You can speak with your fingers only (1 I believe is bathroom , 2 is emergency, and I forgot what 3 is) oh and a staff member has to be within arms length of you at all times, to watch you shit, shower , dress, everything- for weeks , sometimes even months. My mind blanks out about some parts of vista. Another punishment they use is isolation rooms. I never recall being put into isolation but weirdly enough I have letters from staff reminiscing about how when I tried to leave and was put in the isolation rooms. It was in my graduation letter where this was mentioned- as if this would have been a fond memory or something. I remember the staff member made a joke like “all the fun times we had while you were in isolation” but honestly so much happened that I tried to block out I’m honestly not surprised.

the way they abuse you the most is with therapy. They make you have 2 hour groups every day. These are INTENSE groups where they force you to feel sad or ashamed about things you don’t feel sad/ashamed about. They make you recount your sexual traumas even if you aren’t ready. They literally force you to cry about situations you aren’t sad about. If your not “beleiveable” enough , they have the group rip you to shreds and say they “aren’t connecting”. If people “aren’t connecting” then you can’t go up levels which extends your stay. I tried fighting and being my authentic self for a while until I realized I would literally never go home unless I played their game. You literally have to go into group and give an Oscar award winning performance, tears , snot the whole nine- about something you literally don’t even feel that way about. I would be “crying” reliving all these sexual traumas that happened to me that I really felt different emotions about , but be forced to only be sad and cry. I would literally be so focused on whether I was believed or not that I got nothing out of the “therapy” whatsoever , except for more trauma.

They train the group of girls to be like a pack of dogs, constantly berating the newer people and constantly telling other girls they “aren’t connecting” in group. This is called “holding others accountable” and it gives you extra brownie points and is necessary if you ever want to walk out that door. The girls will snitch on you for the most minute things just so they can get moved to the next level. I remember after FINALLY making it to a higher level, being dropped to RO because a girl snitched on me for sharing a spoon with my friend. We were eating a banana (separate ones) and using a spoon to put peanut butter on said banana. I was dropped to RO and not allowed to speak for weeks because of that. I’m guessing that because they were super Mormon that they think sharing utensils is like lesbianism or something- I really don’t know. They had a ton of these rules and everything we did was regulated down to the minutes we could shower.

They made us feel ashamed and terrible about ourselves at all time. I was not allowed to see my parents for months at a time. All out phone called were monitored and if we started asking for help they would hang up. (Like we literally had someone next to us while we got our phone call there to listen and hang up if you said anything negative) you had to stay in character during calls if you ever wanted to go home. -I once wrote a letter starting each line with a different capital letter so that when you read it it would read “AYUDA ME” down the side of the paper (my mom and I speak Spanish) this letter was confiscated and thrown away (all mail is read before it’s sent out)

these little ass girls were getting strip searched and literally made to cough and squat any time they came back from a pass. Literally little ass girls forced to strip for adults - how fucking horrifying. It’s like they were preparing us for prison.

I actually got out and went straight to IV drugs. I used this experience to fuel my self destruction for a long time. I actually spent about a year in jail altogether right after vista , and let me tell you- jail was HEAVEN compared to Vista. At least they didn’t abuse us with therapy and make us keep some fucking ridiculous character all day.

Anyways that’s all I’m going to write for now as it’s getting late, I will write more later and encourage anyone who has been to Vista to share their experiences. Even writing this I feel like a weight is coming off my shoulders. I still die inside every time I think of being sent here - even all these years later.

Edited to add- We also went by a point system and were graded for each thing me did such as “20 minute snack” “one hour school” “15 minute morning chore” “bed made”. Literally every aspect of our life was graded and we were constantly docked points and given zeros for the most minute things. The thing worth the most points was group therapy (yes we were graded on fucking therapy) so if you didn’t preform well enough or cry hard enough about someone random then you would get a 0. If you didn’t score high enough at the end of the week you would be dropped to RO, then the next week if your points were high enough you could get off RO. This was a big threat and reason a lot of us stayed submissive. RO sucked and meant you weren’t going home for a long time so you had to try and be perfect at all times. If you lost one of these point sheets you were immediately dropped (to RO) for a person with ADD this was a constant problem for me and I was dropped multiple times for it.

I would also like to add that every person that ran was tackled and severely restrained (possible beaten but I’m not sure) you would hear the screams from outside the doors of the girls being caught. Harrowing screams, like they were being killed. To this day I don’t know if they were being hurt or if they were just so fucking upset they were being dragged back.

My roommate got out of Vista and immediately shot herself in the head (and lived) most people from Vista got much much worse and have a hard time taking about it. I did too, and honestly this thread is the most I’ve ever shared.

#Vista #residential treatment #Utah

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ultsracha · 5 years

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Idol!Changmin (Q) x Model!reader Fluff

Anon: Yes! We need more the boyz writers! If I may request, could you write a bulletpoint piece model!fem reader and idol!changmin/q meeting and falling in love? ❤️ A/N: Ahhh thank you for the request! changmin is my bias and so i would absolutely love to write for him so im glad this was requested. *disclaimer* this is the first thing ive written in a very long time and im sure it’s not the best, im sorry for that but hopefully i made up for it with adding other members cracky content as well <3

being a model was never what you intended to do when you grew up but you started posing for photography students during school and from there more and more people want to take your picture

now, 3 years later it’s a whole career and you get to work alongside some amazing brands and creators to promote stuff

one week, you were sent to seoul for a shoot with numerous other people to promote a clothing brand

usually you didn't mind flying out to new places, in fact it was the best part of the job once you got over the language barrier

but this time, you were completely alone, your manager couldn't come due to family problems and all of your friends had work

so you were completely alone going to this event

and little did you know it wouldn't just be a small shoot, tons of people were there from all over the world

they had actors, singers and models from tons of different places and companies

and most of them were older than you which made things more stressful

so, first day there and everyone’s being told their schedules and what they need to be doing

when you’re given your schedule you see you’ve been put on the same shoot as a boy group and a handful of other models

not that you minded because maybe you could make some friends seeing as you’d be there for a while

luckily your shoot wasn’t for a while as they didn’t choose you as one of the major people involved with the project so you ended up in a backroom with a few other people minding their own business

it was reasonably quiet in the room, people chatting away and on their phones until the door burst open and a group of boys walked in

all of them were, well

very very very very cute

its uwu time

no wonder they’d been picked for this project, who wouldn't want something modelled by them

They walked in together, one following behind the other. The final boy to walk in looked around at everyone until his eyes met yours

and when i say awkward eye contact, i mean awkward eye contact for about 6 seconds before he accidentally walked into his group member in front of him

followed by some profuse blushing and apologising

they proceeded to disperse into the room and sit down

the one who made intense awkward eye contact lingered for a second, looking around before settling into a seat opposite you

Now there were around 18 people all sat together, not really talking very much

and the air was, awkward.

Until the organiser of the event came in to introduce himself and explain what you were all meant to do

The whole time he was introducing himself you felt someone looking at you, but whenever you searched everyone's faces no one was looking

everything was going fine and dandy until the guy explaining the concepts and the activities you guys would be doing for the shoot asked everyone to introduce themselves one by one

it wouldn’t usually be a problem, you’re a confident person and modelling has certain helped that but when surrounded by so many beautiful humans it’s scary as hell

so, they all introduced themselves. one of the members called Hyunjoon even threw in a cheeky wink at the end of his introduction

like who ??? let you be so cute

but then it came to the one who held the awkward eye contact

he seemed dead set on never looking at you ever again after that first moment up until the second he stood

he looked right at you as he introduced himself

explaining that he didn't mind being called Q or Changmin

what a freaking cutie pie

when it was your turn you felt the most amount of butterflies in your stomach since probably your first kiss back in primary school

introducing yourself as calmly as possible, only looking up from the floor briefly to see Changmin staring into your eyes with keen interest

oof that was enough to set your heart on fire

Finishing your introduction of where you’re from and how old you are, you sat down quickly feeling the heat in your cheeks increase when you saw two of the boys whispering together

once the man was gone it was a lot easier for everyone to chat and discuss how they thought the project would turn out, excited to be part of such a unique shoot

Changmin was glancing your way every few seconds, looking like he was having an internal battle with himself

You decided to just be a bad bitch and go speak to him yourself

he was with Hyunjoon anyway and you needed to congratulate him on winning the best introduction of the team award!!

when you got there they both abruptly stopped talking and looked at you, waiting with wide eyes for what you were going to say

“so you’re part of a boy group yeah?” you ask

might as well ease in gently yanno

they both looked at each other before Hyunjoon answered and began explaining their roles in the group

he explained in great length that Changmin was the main dancer

speaking very briefly of the other members in order to explain that Changmin can sing and dance so well and he’s super amazing with fans

Changmin all the while stood there blushing and trying to disagree with him

honestly a sweet but strange interaction

until finally Hyunjoon was called away by another member of the group

leaving just you and Changmin alone

you’d moved to a couch nearby by now so for a few moments you sat there admiring him as he watched Hyunjoon walk off

when he turned back he rushed to say “I’m sorry about him, he loves to hype us all up. I’m not really that cool’

“No, I think you’re pretty cool...” You shrug, trying to pass off the compliment slyly which didn’t go unnoticed by him.

A faint blush was working it’s way up his neck when the organiser walked back in with 3 sheets of paper

“I can see you’ve all got to know each other more and now, I want you to divide yourself into teams as evenly as possible. I don’t want all the girls put in one team though because there are less of you”

He then leaves the sheets on a table and walks off again leaving you to find the courage to ask Changmin if he’d want to be in the same team as you

Because I mean you’ve only known him for about 45 minutes but he’s already showed how sweet he is and you can’t help but feel excited at the idea of spending the next few days working with him

“So would yo-”

“Hey could w-”

You both tried to ask each other to be on the same team in the exact same second

Both of you burst into laughter and write your names on the paper one under the other still giggling the whole time

The rest of the morning goes by just like this, giggling together and gradually getting to know one another more and more

by the time the afternoon rolls around he’s basically your best friend

You both love the same movies, same books, enjoy similar music

Even as hair and makeup is being done you don’t stop talking and giggling

Lets be real here, a crush was growing

It’s like within the space of 4 hours you’d become inseparable

When the photos were being taken your teams connection together was so genuine

Working for a brand that’s entire concept is friendship and having fun together it was hardly surprising that the laughter didn’t end there

The rest of the time you were there your cheeks never stopped hurting from how much you smiled and laughed

Not just from Changmin but also from all of his groupmates too

Such a wonderful, fun group of people to be around

You truly felt like one of them by the end of the shoot

but lets not ignore the lingering glances you and Changmin exchanged, or how he always managed to find an excuse to be stood with you and how whenever he’d walk you to your hotel room door he would try and make the conversation last as long as possible and always, always end the night with a hug

okay lets be real again, a crush had definitely formed, grown up, moved in and was now decorating the kitchen in your heart

Like you couldn’t get enough of his happy energy and humour

At the end of the final shoot when you’re all stood around talking and laughing Changmin grabs your arm and pulls you away

Clearly you don’t resist because like anyone would accept some alone time with Changmin

Gently he leads you to a couch in the corner of the room and sits down

His cheeks are already rosy when he starts to speak, his hand starting to get clammy against your own

“y/n, will you go on a date with me?” he blurts out quickly and then opening his eyes wide as if he was surprised he said it

and in that moment

your heart

burst and stopped and did a trip round the globe

“Of COURSE” you literally scream

His face lights up immediately and he jumps up hugs you quickly and darts off back to the others

you hear them all cheer and see them start hugging and pushing around a very, very blushy Changmin

Later that evening he arrives at your hotel room door, still wearing that same red hue on his cheeks

You go to the arcade together and the whole evening is wonderful

it’s no different than how you guys have spent time together the last few days but this time Changmin insists on holding your hand every second

As well as hugging you from behind when its your turn on the claw machine

Unfortunately you claw machine skills are...

Limited

But of course, your knight in shining hoodie and jeans swoops in and wins you the stuffed animal you really wanted

After you’d played every arcade game and taking endless amounts of cringey pics of each other you walk home slowly still hand in hand

��You know, I’m really glad I met you” he states out of the blue, still looking ahead of him

“Me too, I feel so complete with you around me” you reply back, swinging your joined hands slightly

From then on, you were never apart

Literally like the brand you did the shoot for hired you permanently for big moneys and a promise of a successful modelling career a few weeks after your first date with Changmin

Which you graciously accepted for only that reason

Not the fact the love of your life happened to live down road from your new apartment

and all you wanted to was hold his and forever

plus the rest of the group fully accepted you as one of their own

like seriously it was hard to find any moments alone with your boyfriend when hanging out at the dorms because hyunjae liked to ask what you’re doing every 3 minutes

as well as father maknae line demanding your attention every second you were there

not that you complained about any of it

because who would complain about a family like that

and a boyfriend like Changmin

really out here living your best life huh

#im back bitches #im sorry to disappoint #the boyz #the boyz fluff #tbz #tbz fluff #changmin #tbz changmin #the boyz q #tbz imagine #the boyz au #the boyz scenario

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pentakillmaven · 5 years

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The Nose Knows, Chapter 4 (NaNoWriMo 2018)

Short chapter this time, but I really had fun writing this one! It’s a group text chat chapter!

Chapter Rating: T

Chapter Warnings: Unresolved mutual pining

Chapter 4

Ladybug and Chat Noir met up a little after sunset at the top of the Arc de Triomphe. They didn't like to use the same meeting spot every time they patrolled, just in case a villain was tracking them, but the structure was a common starting point for their circuitous routes around the city. Ladybug bit her lip nervously as she thrust a wrapped box into Chat Noir's hand. "This is for you, Chaton."

"My Lady?" Chat cocked his head to the side as he furrowed his brow a little, but he accepted the box easily enough. "What's all this about?"

"Just open it!"

Nodding rather reluctantly, Chat tugged on the ribbon wrapped around the box, setting it aside for the moment while he tore through the paper. Lifting the lid, his eyes widened in surprise as he saw what was inside. "What in the…" He reached into the box, pulling out a black beanie hat with green paw prints stitched around the brim and faux leather cat ears poking out of the top. Alongside the hat was a fleece scarf with more of the paw print accents and a pair of faux-fur-edged gloves. "Bugaboo, these are amazing! Thank you!"

"Actually, Marinette asked me to bring this present to you. She said it was a thank you gift for saving her. Since it's nearly winter, she thought you might be able to use them if you get cold during patrol."

"Marinette made these? I knew she was a talented designer, but, wow. These are incredible."

Ladybug grinned. "I know, right? I'll tell her you like them!"

Chat shook his head quickly. "No, no, something like this, I need to tell her myself. Do you mind if I skip patrol tonight?" Chat wrapped the scarf around his neck and tugged the hat on over his head before he quickly started to pick up the wrapping paper, stuffing it inside the box alongside the gloves.

Ladybug's eyes widened in minor panic, though Chat was too busy to notice. "She's really busy right now! She's got some big tests coming up; it's probably better not to disturb her while she's studying. You can tell her another night."

Chat looked a bit disappointed, but nodded. "That makes sense. Tell you what--I'll put together something really nice to thank her for the gift, and give it to her when I get back."

"Get back from where?" It was Ladybug’s turn to look confused by Chat's sudden change of topic.

Chat winced a bit, scratching at the back of his head. "Y-yeah… My civilian identity has something going on that I have to leave town for a few days. I should be back by the beginning of next week, though. Do you think you can get Réna Rouge or Carapace to cover for me while I'm gone?"

"Wait, you're leaving town? As in leaving Paris?" At Chat's nod, Ladybug’s face tightened in concern. "Do you think it's smart to leave right after Hawk Moth just sent out the first Akuma we've seen in nearly a month? What if he's about to start on a rash of attacks? Réna and Carapace are great, but I need my partner."

"I'm sorry, Bugaboo, but I don't have any control over the situation. Like I said, it's a thing for my civilian identity."

Ladybug sighed in resignation, nodding slightly. "I know how that feels. All right. Just keep your Miraculous safe while you're gone, okay?"

"Of course. I won't let it out of my sight."

"Good. Now, shall we begin?"

"Of course, My Lady. Lead the way!"

Marinette dropped into her bedroom through the skylight, having already released her superhero transformation from Ladybug. She shivered, quickly pulling the skylight window shut to block the late autumn chill. Paris hadn't seen its first snow of the season just yet, but it definitely felt cold enough to do so, especially this late at night.

Marinette pulled her cell phone out of her pocket, noticing multiple notifications that she'd missed during her time as Ladybug. Some of them were the usual late-evening push notifications from her various games and apps; she also had a few new emails, mostly junk or advertising. The one notification that did catch her eye was from the group chat that she, Alya, Nino, and Adrien all had going on. It was mostly used for school-related discussions, but occasionally someone sent a funny meme or a video link to share to the rest of the group. Opening the messaging app, she scrolled back up to where the new messages began so she wouldn't miss anything.

[8:57 PM] AdrienAgreatest: Hey guys! Today was a lot of fun! Thanks for having us over, Marinette.

[8:58 PM] DJLahiffe: yeah same

[8:58 PM] AdrienAgreatest: I wanted to let you guys know that I won't be at school tomorrow. Actually, I won't be here the rest of the week. Father has some business to attend to in Milan, and he's taking me with him.

[8:59 PM] TheLadyblogger: what the hell Adrien??? doesnt your dad know that the bac practice tests are, like, next week??? how can he pull you out of school right now???

[9:02 PM] AdrienAgreatest: Trust me, Alya, I'm not happy about it either. I just found out earlier tonight, when I got home from Marinette's house. We aren't even leaving until tomorrow, but he made me come home early so that I could "get some good rest, because we have a busy schedule the next several days." Nathalie isn't saying much about it, but she did mention something about a potential merger with some Italian leather working company. I guess they make things like wallets, shoes, and belts? So the company would be able to offer more in the way of accessories that we don't really have right now.

[9:06 PM] DJLahiffe: wow. that sounds p cool but ur dad is still rude af tho

[9:08 PM] TheLadyblogger: i'm with nino on this one. @MariDC what do you think about this? are you as outraged as we are?

Glancing at the time, Marinette breathed a sigh of relief when she realized it was only 9:15. She quickly typed out a response.

[9:15 PM] MariDC: Sorry, just got back up to my room. Was helping Maman with dishes. I'm sorry to hear you're going to be missing class, Adrien! But if this is something your father wants you to do, I think it's important that you take it in stride. Look on the bright side! At least you don't have to sit through stuffy classes the rest of the week. Your teachers are always willing to work with you when you have to miss class. As long as you're back in time for the Bac practice tests next week, everything should be fine. You will be back by then, right?

[9:18 PM] AdrienAgreatest: According to Father, we will be flying back Sunday, so unless something unexpected happens, I should be back in time for the practice tests. Maybe we can do a video call study group one night, depending on how busy I am.

[9:19 PM] MariDC: That sounds great! Just let us know when you're free in the evenings.

[9:19 PM] AdrienAgreatest: Definitely. I'll keep you guys posted on what's going on. If previous experience is anything to go by, the next few days are going to pretty much be Father talking with a bunch of old people while I sit and do nothing. Either that or I'm going to be doing non-stop photo shoots while Father talks with the board of directors at the other company. This is the first time that I'm going to be out of the country, though, so that's exciting at least. I've never been to Italy before.

[9:22 PM] DJLahiffe: dude let me dm you some new remixes ive been working on, u can listen to them on the plane

[9:23 PM] AdrienAgreatest: Yes please! Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know so you weren't worried about me tomorrow. Have a good night everyone!

[9:25 PM] TheLadyblogger: night adrien!

[9:25 PM] DJLahiffe: nite bro

[9:25 PM] MariDC: Good night, Adrien! Sleep well and safe travels!

[9:26 PM] AdrienAgreatest: Thanks :)

Setting her phone aside, Marinette sighed, the sound rather forlorn. She crawled out of bed to get into her pajamas, grabbing her History textbook for some more reading before she fell asleep.

However, despite her best efforts, her mind was buzzing with activity; she couldn't get settled enough to read the textbook and she wasn't tired enough to sleep yet. Her mind kept replaying the look on Chat Noir's face as he opened the gift she'd given him. It seemed so familiar, but she couldn't think of why. Not to mention the strange coincidence that both Chat and Adrien were going to be out of town at the same time. "Tikki?"

The Kwami poked her head out of her little dollhouse on the shelf beside Marinette's bed, where she'd settled once they'd gotten inside. "What is it, Marinette?"

"Chat Noir is going to be out of town for a few days starting tomorrow. And Adrien just messaged Alya and Nino and me saying he was going to Milan for the rest of the week."

"Oh… that's an interesting coincidence." Tikki looked up at Marinette intently, as if reading the girl's expression.

"Is it though? I know it sounds crazy, but… what if…" Marinette trailed off. No, that was too crazy for her to even imagine.

"What are you thinking, Marinette?"

"What if… Chat Noir's civilian identity… what if he works for Gabriel Agreste? What if he's going with Adrien and his dad to Milan, and that's why he's going to be out of town?"

Tikki's eyes widened at Marinette's suggestion. "That's… certainly a possibility, I suppose."

"I know we aren't supposed to reveal ourselves to each other without the masks, but if I was on the right track to figuring out his identity, you'd tell me, right Tikki?"

"Of course I would, Marinette. But I'm not sure if you're on the right track or not."

"Oh. Okay." Sighing, Marinette leaned back in bed, staring up at the ceiling as she continued to ponder the curious coincidence. This was getting her nowhere--she needed to get back to studying! With a huff, she picked up her textbook again, gluing her eyes to the page.

However, after trying and failing to read the same paragraph four times, Marinette set the textbook aside and picked her phone back up. Her fingers shook as she typed a private message to Adrien, and she had to reread the message twice to make sure she didn't have any typos before she sent it.

[9:45 PM] MariDC: Adrien? I have a question.

[9:46 PM] AdrienAgreatest: Hey again Marinette! What's up?

[9:47 PM] MariDC: Do you know Chat Noir?

Marinette held her breath as a message appeared in the corner of her screen: AdrienAgreatest is typing…

Ten seconds turned into thirty seconds, turned into a minute, and Marinette had to gasp for air before she passed out. Finally, after the longest two minutes of her entire life, Adrien's reply popped up on her phone.

[9:49 PM] AdrienAgreatest: I'm not sure why you're asking, but yes, I've at least met Chat Noir before. I don't know who he is behind the mask, though. Or, at least, I don't know if I know him. Does that make sense?

[9:50 PM] MariDC: Yes! That makes perfect sense. I have a confession to make: When I said I was at home the whole time the villain was attacking the school on Monday, I was lying. I actually got hurt in the bathroom when the villain first appeared, and Chat Noir saved me. I only lied to keep Alya and Nino from freaking out and worrying about me. Are you mad?

[9:53 PM] AdrienAgreatest: Why would I be mad at you? It's not like you intentionally put yourself in harm's way, right? I'm just glad you're alright. You're one of my closest friends and I would be devastated if something happened to you. I care about you a lot, Marinette.

Marinette's eyes widened almost comically as she read and reread Adrien's messages. She vaguely heard a loud, high-pitched squeal coming from somewhere in the room. It took her a minute to realize it was coming from herself.

[9:56 PM] MariDC: I care about you a lot too Adrien! I mean, you're one of my closest friends too! I love

Shaking her head wildly, Marinette deleted the text and started again.

[9:57 PM] MariDC: You're really important to me and I hope I didn't disappoint you or make you mad.

[9:58 PM] AdrienAgreatest: Don't worry about it, Marinette. You didn't do anything of the sort. Anyway, I should be getting to bed. It's late and I have to be up at 5 for us to make our plane.

[10:00 PM] MariDC: Oh lord! Yes, you do need to be getting to sleep! Can't have Mr. Model with saggy under eye bags, now can we? ;) Sleep well, Adrien. Let us know when your plane lands, all right?

[10:03 PM] AdrienAgreatest: Will do. Good night, Marinette. Sweet dreams :) (edited)

Marinette blinked, peering down at her phone in confusion. She'd glanced away for a moment, but she could have sworn that instead of her name, Adrien had initially written "Princess."

Did Adrien think of Marinette using pet names? Did he consider her his princess?

"Oh my god!" Marinette rolled over and stuffed her face into her pillow to muffle her squeal.

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous tales of ladybug and cat noir #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #nino lahiffe #alya cesaire #ladybug #chat noir #marichat #adrinette #ladrien #ladynoir #nanowrimo #nanowrimo 2018

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parchmints · 6 years

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JuLance Day 29 - Compliments

Check out my thread on twitter to see all the prompts at once (the tumblr app messes with formatting so I recommend twitter if you’re using mobile)! All prompts connect together to form one overarching story!

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day 29/31 - Compliments

Lance’s Little Book of Good Things

Day 29: Compliments

Lance’s Little Book of Good Things

Day 33 of Space Roadtrip, Red Lion

Okay!! So here’s the deal. Shiro told all of us that we should keep a journal to “ground ourselves” while we make the looong journey back to Earth, so that’s what I’m doing! I didn’t do it for the first month or so cuz I wanted to actually write ya know? Everyone else is just using their tablets but, I don’t know...I wasn’t really feeling it. I think it’ll just feel better to do it by hand. Red didn’t have any pen and paper tho, so I had to wait until we landed on a planet that had some.

It took a month to find one. Ugh, it was so long. Being in the Lions for a week is gross and I’m not gonna get into it, but just know it’s gross. BUT ANYWAY. We landed on a planet called Hovenduhl and there was a super nice prince there who watched the Voltron show and let us stay at his castle for a few days! I asked him about writing supplies and he gave me a bunch! The notebooks he gave me are pretty similar to the ones we have on Earth, but the pens are so cool! They have different ink colors and some of them are shiny, some of them are matte, and some of them glitter! They’re actually a lot like glitter pens but they don’t give out after like five seconds and they write really well.

So my plan with this bad boy is to write the good things that happen on the space roadtrip! With everything that happened with Shiro and Lotor (hate him), it’s been...hard. And the roadtrip is hard. So, I’m gonna write about good things to keep my spirits up! That way I can look at it when I need cheering up! I probably won’t write every day, but I still think it’ll be nice.

P.S. I’m counting a “day” as the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. Time in space is...weird.

Day 35 of Space Roadtrip, Some Asteroid

I had sword training with Keith today! He’s kind of a lousy teacher and he constantly sends me flying (mainly cuz I let him--wouldn’t want him to feel threatened by what a natural I am), but he told me that as long as I keep practicing, I could be really good! Which, I mean, obviously…

Day 42 of Space Roadtrip, Red Lion

Yorak hung out in Red with me today! He put his head on my lap!

Day 54 of Space Roadtrip, Jungle Planet

We found a planet with lots of hanging fruit, so I was shooting them down and Krolia said I had “impressive aim”! It was really nice. I like Krolia a lot. She’s so cool, I kinda can’t believe Keith is her son...but then she’ll make a broody face and I’m like “oh, yeah”.

Day 60 of Space Roadtrip, Red Lion

Been kind of a rough week. We’ve been flying in the Lions for a long time and no one’s really up for talking. We’re running out of things to say, I think. I’m not a big fan of that if I’m honest. It gives me too much time to think. BUT ANYWAY! Pidge says we’re near an inhabited planet so I’m excited for that!

Day 61 of Space Roadtrip, Baskval

WE LANDED ON A PLANET AAAAAAA!!! It’s been a while! The locals kinda look like cockroaches but they have beds (actual beds!) so I’m in no way complaining.

Day 67 of Space Roadtrip, Some Asteroid

Today was...something. I talked with Shiro today and he said...a lot of really nice stuff. I actually kind of ran here after so I could write it all down because I want to remember this for the rest of my life so here goes…

I’ve been feeling...really bad about how I couldn’t really help Shiro when he was stuck in the Black Lion. He tried to tell me what was happening, but I didn’t listen couldn’t hear him. At least not all the way. And we finally talked about it today. I think it was a long time coming. I thought about that moment a lot, especially when we’re just traveling in the Lions. Anyway, he told me that I shouldn’t feel bad since I didn’t have a direct link to the Black Lion like he and Keith did and the fact that I heard him at all gave him hope.

He also told me that I stepped up and was always thinking about the team and that I’m gonna be a great leader and that he’s proud of me! Okay, I think that’s all he said…

I mean, he also said I was a hero which...man.

It’s crazy. I looked up to Shiro even before the Garrison--the guy’s a legend! When I saw that he was gonna be one of our instructors, I nearly lost my mind, but I could never really get his attention. I mean, it was hard to get any of the instructors to pay attention to you when Keith was around. Probably why I didn’t really like him at first...BUT WHATEVER!! Shiro called me a hero and that’s gonna fuel me for WEEKS!!!

Day 82 of Space Roadtrip, Some Asteroid

PIDGE GOT KILLBOT PHANTASM IV WORKING IN GREEN!!! We played for hours today and it was the best!!

Day 91 of Space Roadtrip, Dead Planet

I finally was able to knock Keith down in training today!! He was a little annoyed but he said good job and that I was really improving. I’m really happy because we’ve been working hard at it. Keith is a much better teacher now too!

Day 102 of Space Roadtrip, Auria

I want to start this off by saying I’M GOING TO KILL KEITH!!! He made me go sprinting after a little alien girl when I didn’t have to! He’s such a jerk…

BUT ANYWAY!! THE GOOD STUFF: We were on this planet called Auria (it was really pretty!) and there was this little alien girl named Aefee who said I was her favorite Paladin!! We talked a little bit and she was really sweet :)

Kinda made me miss Hilario and Ana, but it’s okay! I’m on my way to see them!

Day 115 of Space Roadtrip, Planet With Food We Could Cook

helped Hunk make dinner out of some weird veggies we found on the planet we landed on and he said I had excellent chopping technique! Mamá used to say the same thing when I helped her cook!

P.S. I’m starting to realize a lot of these entries are just me saying when I get compliments...WHAT CAN I SAY I like it when Lancey Lance gets the appreciation he deserves!

Day 134 of Space Roadtrip, Some Asteroid

More training with Keith today! Our fights are starting to feel a lot more even now! And by even, I mean Keith’s almost as good as me! Might even surpass me one day...but oh well, he still can’t shoot for beans.

Day 152 of Space Roadtrip, Red Lion

I don’t talk much about this here cuz it’s not really happy and I try to keep things positive when I’m journaling, but I talked to Allura today and for the first time in a long time, I felt okay? Like...I’ve been really sad about how we weren’t ever gonna be a thing and I still really liked her, but I think it’s starting to be okay. We just talked and it was kind of the first time I was like “okay we’re friends and I’m not wishing for something more” since I decided I needed to give it up. I don’t know, it just felt good. I’m moving on and I still get to hang out with Allura and have fun with her so can’t complain!

Day 171 of Space Roadtrip, Some Asteroid

I FINALLY WON A ROUND OF KP4 AGAINST PIDGE!!! She was really mad at first but then she was like “good game”. Think she’s kind of excited she has competition, actually...

Day 180 of Space Roadtrip, Hybitius

Uh, okay wow. Lot happened today. Like a lot...not all good either, but okay.

So we went to this planet called Hybitius and they have this craaazy carnival with all these thrill rides that make Hunk puke just looking at them and it’s AWESOME!! Keith and I were the only ones with the guts to actually go on them so we spent like, the whole day together and it was...really nice.

We ended the night on this ferris wheel and Keith started talking and he kept saying really nice things like I was there for him and I’m an amazing person and stuff like that and I...ugh this is even hard to write out...but I almost kissed him? And for a second I thought he kinda wanted me to too but the ride was over before I got a chance, which was probably good. Keith probably didn’t want me to kiss him and…

GOD!!! I like Keith!! I like him!! This is so stupid!! When did this even happen?! I mean, I guess we’ve been getting closer because of training...and I guess I’ve always kind of thought he was cute since the Garrison BUT I NEVER LIKED HIM!

I don’t know, I think I’m sad. I know Keith won’t like me back, so I guess I just gotta get over it. Good thing is that I have experience with that so…

Day 215 of Space Roadtrip, Uninhabited Planet

I keep staring at Keith, according to Hunk, but apparently, Keith keeps staring at me too. I don’t know what that means.

Day 220 of Space Roadtrip, Some Asteroid

I think Keith almost kissed me. I’m not sure. We were training and things got a little carried away and...I don’t know. I think...maybe he does like me? I guess I think it’s possible now and that...makes me really, really happy.

Day 222 of Space Roadtrip, Some Asteroid

Keith doesn’t like me. He likes someone else. Pidge told me.

Good thing is that I’ve started “Operation: Get Over Keith” immediately.

Day 223 of Space Roadtrip, Some Asteroid

Operation: Get Over Keith is not going well.

Day 234 of Space Roadtrip, Red Lion

Hunk said something that made Keith laugh over comms today and it was so cute I thought I was gonna have a heart attack.

Day 255 of Space Roadtrip, Some Asteroid

Sorry, it’s been a while. I think the trip’s kind of getting to me. It’s been so long. I’m trying to keep my spirits up for everyone, so I don’t have the energy for lots of journaling...especially about good things.

Sorry, that sounded really negative. I just...want to get home.

Day 269 of Space Roadtrip, Uninhabited Planet

Whenever we land, Keith and I always train and lately, he always come to sit and talk with me. We’re talking a lot, actually. He’s so cool. I mean, I always knew that, but he’s not just cool in an “awesome-pilot-crazy-samurai” way but in a “you make me feel better when I’m sad about something” way too.

We talk about a bunch of stuff, but it usually ends up being about our families.

Suffice to say, Operation: Get Over Keith is still not going well.

Day 283 of Space Roadtrip, Red Lion

Pidge says we’re not close to Earth, but we’re close to being close to Earth. I don’t really get it, but I’ll take it. Pidge thinks we’re close to making a breakthrough and once we do, the rest of the trip will be easy!

Day 298 of Space Roadtrip, Some Asteroid

Keith smiled at me today and it was an attack on my person. Personally.

O:GOK still not going well.

Day 306 of Space Roadtrip, Red Lion

PIDGE DID IT!! SHE KNOWS HOW TO GET US BACK TO EARTH!! IT’S ONLY GOING TO TAKE US LIKE A MONTH TO GET HOME!! EAAAARTH!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Day 312 of Space Roadtrip, Red Lion

We’re trying to limit our time on the ground as much as possible so we can get home sooner, which is hard, but I’m not complaining! LET’S GET THERE!!!

Day 325 of Space Roadtrip, Desert Planet

Had to take a break finally. We had a good run for a while but it was time.

Keith and I talked about everything we wanted to do once we got home and at some point I just kinda hugged him. He didn’t seem to mind, though.

As always, O:GOK is not going well. Kind of just failing miserably at this point.

Day 340 of Space Roadtrip, THE MILKY WAY GALAXY

YOU READ THAT RIGHT JOURNAL!!! THE MILKY WAY!! WHICH MEANS WE’RE MINUTES FROM HOME!!! I’M GONNA SEE MY FAMILY! I’M GONNA SEE THE OCEAN! I’M GONNA EAT PIZZA AND GARLIC KNOTS AND ICE CREAM AND MAMÁ’S EMPANADAS AND I HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING!! I’M SCREAMING RIGHT NOW!! THEY’RE TELLING ME TO STOP BUT I WON’T!

I think this is gonna be my last entry, at least for now! I’m gonna be too busy on Earth to be able to write, but thanks for being there for me buddy! Writing in you really helped, actually.

EARTH!! WOOHOO!!

Love,

Lance

#JuLance #klance #vld #voltron #vld lance #lance mcclain #vld keith #keith kogane #voltron fic #klance fic #my writing #writing challenge #drabble #ficlet #my post

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insarations · 6 years

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these are actually hella fucking cute y’all

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? oh yes :) but gotta get me some hot chocolate or blanket

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? usually just a scrap of paper or whatevers close

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? i put soy milk and sugar in my coffee....just sugar in tea

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? ya :/ well at least if my mouth is open...I have terrible teeth

6: do you keep plants? no

7: do you name your plants? noo lol

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? painting/drawing/crafting..sometimes writing or poetry

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? very much

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? usually side, sometimes back

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? too many to name

12: what's your favorite planet? hmm...never thought about it strangely. saturn for looks. but mars cause idk..it holds the most possibility

13: what's something that made you smile today? my cats

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? uhhh....idk

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! A day on Venus is actually longer than a year on Venus... wrap your head around that ;)

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? ooooh all of them lol but probably lasagna... ooh or alfredo

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? just darker...dark brown or black

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up when i made us play hide n seek in a hotel room and i hid behind a curtain. or when i peed on my friends foot cause she got stung by a jellyfish XD

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I used to :/ I dont' really anymore..probably should

20: what's your favorite eye color? um idk really it depends on the person..I usually like brown or blue. not that green isn't nice but again depends on the person lol

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. ugh I really don't use bags or purses or anything like that much. currently my black vans drawstring

22: are you a morning person? nah, never will be. i'm used to getting up early but still hate it

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? SLEEP

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? yes..a few people

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? umm i dont think ive broken into anywhere

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? i got rid of all my own shoes but the ones ive had a while i wear the most are my black slipon vans

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? mint

28: sunrise or sunset? sunset

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? only she could do it, cant even explain lol

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? more than a few times

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I LOVE SOCKS lol absolutely not all white socks. I like fun patterned socks..especially my vans no shows... sometimes sleep with them on

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. oh gosh dont let me start

33: what's your fave pastry? uggghh too many. recently something amazing I tried... lobster tails from carlos bakery. but really..any pastry lol

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? lots of them. the main one I can think of is a small little grungy horse named Wickee lol...got him at this amusement park called Wickee Watchee... idk where he is atm :/

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? ooooooh yesssss...from time to time

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? 21 pilots

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I mean I like it clean.... but it's messy most the time anyways lol

38: tell us about your pet peeves! ugh so many. the #1 thing probably is when I'm walking like in a store and someone just stops right in front of me..like i'm tryna get somewhere please move haha but otherwise I just had selfish spoiled people and attitudes and people who think they're better than everyone else

39: what color do you wear the most? black and gray

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? um honestly I don't have any jewelry besides my liprings. There is this necklace that was my grandmas but I don't really wear it anymore

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? It's called Pawn by Robin Roseau

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Starbucks. it's amazing. it's life. that is all.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? this girl

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? um hmm on and off lately and I think i'm getting there again...but probably really completely like...last spring

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? as much and often as I can

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. oh you don't want me to do that

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? donald trump. oh food. hahahahah omg. i thought it said thing. hahahaha. i cant even answer now.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? roaches. yes still same. I HATE THEM

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? eh neither like or dislike..rarely ever buy cds never records. But I did recently buy the Gwen Stefani Christmas album ;)

50: what's an odd thing you collect? nothing really odd. oh well.... unique boxes. I guess thats strange lol

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? so many songs.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? uh hmm.. probably the spongebob mocking one lol

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? honestly..dont kill me...no

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? myself XD

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? gotten out of the car and walked a mile home XD

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? just being genuine and truthful and sweet and trying to be funny even if you're not really

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? BEAUTIFUL. I didnt actually listen but I did in my head. BEAUTIFUL SONG

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? uhhhh..... dont really have a group of friends XD

59: what's your favorite myth? hmm too much thinking

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? depends, most the time...the Footprints poem

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? given um...idk I used to get a buncha stuff from the dollar store for my fam every year lol received? a rock from my ex bf -_-

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nah not really a juice person

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? yes organized

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? black

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? yesss....

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? uhhh eh..not for me

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? either calm or sad or sleepy or a combo

68: what's winter like where you live? it's florida. not usually cold. this week is as cold as it gets...low is like 38 but usually it doesnt even get there

69: what are your favorite board games? clue, monopoly is alright too

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? not huge on tea but I like mint, or something fruity like berry or lemon or peach

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? with certain things

73: what are some of your worst habits? leaving drinks or bottles half finished out or like letting my room get messy

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. funny. sarcastic. sometimes an asshole. good time. gorgeous. fun.

75: tell us about your pets! They're two cats, sister, Lamb and Rue...they're 2 and 1/2 years old..and sweet and mischevious and fluffy and soft and cuteeee and I love them more than anything

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? not really

77: pink or yellow lemonade? dont really like lemonade much but they dont make much a difference to me

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? fanclub :)

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? wrote a song for me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white..nah I didnt choose

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. honestly my minds going black lol im tired

82: are/were you good in school? yes for the most part..had my moments but overall good

83: what's some of your favorite album art? so many I could name. coldplays is always really colorful and abstracty. and imagine dragons.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? already have two. want a lot more..too much to name and i dont even know still what all i want

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? nah

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? YAS. many. but first came to mind, Skillets Rise

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Silver Linings Playbook. Paper Towns. Shrek. All the disney movies. Avatar. Wizard of Oz. many more

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? all of them haha... pop art, impressionism, renaissance..just all of it all special in they're own way

89: are you close to your parents? eh idk i cant explain..neither close nor distant. like we live together and talk alot but not really the close relationship as some do..im very different from them

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Knoxville. the city I went to college in... interesting place with lots to do..best of both worlds. beautiful mountains and hills and views. but also the downtown areas are cool..lots of fun stuff

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? going to savannah ga for my bday. not sure where else yet but i'm sure there will be other places. i'd really like to go to phoenix..boston..new orleans..california..portland ugh so many places

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? CHEESE AF

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? just up in a bun which is boring but its too messy and long to put up with lol

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my dad

95: what are your plans for this weekend? nothing really so far. probably will go to lunch or something with my friend

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? procrastinate

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? myer briggs- INFJ (advocate) sign- aquarius house- ravenclaw

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? legitimately...like 3 years ago...hated it...too much walking and pain XD

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. ugh sooooooooooo many. pretty much any song by skillet or gwen stefani/no doubt recently..dusk till dawn by sia, new rules by dua lipa... also songs by ben howard..lots of indie stuff

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 into the future... i've already lived my past, and i've made a lot of progress...wanna jump to even more progress hopefully

#survey #survey questions #random survey #cute questions #many questions #random questions

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