Tumgik
#yet could possibly knock out a grown man
emissaire · 6 months
Text
yours, ardently - geto suguru x reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media
꒰꒰. SYNOPSIS: suguru crumbles in the presence of genuine devotion
꒰꒰. WARNINGS: reverse comfort, fluff, slight angst (lmk if i missed anything <3)
꒰꒰. NOTE: hello! i'm back (kind of) with my pookie, suguru. i've managed to write this in between dealing w/ school stuff and crying over school stuff. i missed writing sm 😭
Tumblr media
Geto Suguru is a man of chaotic solitude. Much like his best friend, he strives in an environment well-lived, radiant and loud. Age and maturity-wise, he could say he’s grown past that childlike impulsivity enough to avoid impending conflicts but he’s still just a man— not immune to the inevitable distraught of life. He used to be a bright-eyed boy with such a positive outlook in all things that come his way. His perspective of the world was reflected in the same sense of warmth that seemed to enshroud his very presence: gentle and kind, full of hope. He was a paragon that even the strongest relied on, his best friend’s moral compass was influenced by him as he was quite sensitive and so in tune to the things around him. 
Though he is not one to talk about the troubles that keep him up at night, you know him well enough to understand that something is wrong. The way he started shutting off anyone else that dares to come close is heartbreaking, even more so with knowing that there is nothing you can do that can fill the void in his heart. He rarely smiles nowadays. His face no longer lights up with glee and when it does, it no longer reaches his eyes— they don't crinkle anymore into pretty crescent shapes. They are both just bleak and empty pools that stare far away into the distance, slowly succumbing to the downward spiral journey of his life, and the possibility of not being able to catch up once he decides to let go, leave and not look back anymore is daunting. 
A soft knock interrupts your musing before you hear Suguru's voice from behind the door. "You awake?"
The sheets make rustling sounds as you hurry to open the door of your bedroom, ready to welcome Suguru in, both in your space and in your arms because it's how you comfort yourself— some sort of assurance that he's still with you. "Can't sleep?"
He only nods his head, making a beeline to your bed and you watch him sigh, his shoulders dropping in relaxation as if the warmth of your bed and your smell that lingers on the pillows are enough to coax him out of his shell. 
"Come, baby." Suguru reaches out to you, hand outstretched in the dark. And even though you can barely make out his figure on the bed, his presence is enough to make up for everything that was lacking when you were alone and wallowing in your thoughts of him.
It does not take you long to occupy the other side of the bed, almost instinctively cuddling up to him and embracing his body so tenderly you feel him slowly easing with you. His arms are quick to wrap around your waist, pulling you even closer as if he’s afraid you would slip away if he doesn't hold you tight. “It’ll be Christmas in a few months.” Suguru mentions, breaking the silence with the low timbre of his voice— soothing as always.
You smile, lifting your head just a bit to get a brief look at his face. “Yeah. Are we still on for that trip we planned last April?”
There is a telltale sign of a smile on his face— through the poor lighting that emits from the barely opened window of your room, you witness the slight upward curves at the corners of his lips, and for a moment you could see a glimpse of hope: a future with him. Everything will be alright.
Suguru doesn’t respond, his eyes just trailing across every feature of your face. Such sad eyes he has, but there is no denying the hints of love in the pretty brown hues of them as he admires you in silence. They even seem a little dim with the absence of it’s usual spark yet it doesn't take away the fact that he's still your Suguru. Your beautiful Suguru.
“Get some sleep, my love.” Your murmur, allowing him to burrow deeper in your arms and lay his head on your chest. The way you caress his hair makes him hum, so tender and full of care that it’s soothing. 
You let the tranquility of the night engulf your entwined bodies under the comfort of your sheets, letting the hours tick by with no care for anything at all but the warmth of your love and the way his breath settles evenly.
“I wish you’d just talk to me, Suguru.” You whisper once you've deemed he’s fallen asleep, your hands still caressing his hair in gentle strokes. “You’re not alone, you know? Share with me your pain.” Your voice falters with the last words you’ve spoken, finding it hard to breathe with the lump in your throat as you try to keep your tears at bay.
“I know you’re strong but you don’t always have to carry all that weight— I’m here. Satoru’s here, Ieri even. We’re always here.” A shaky breath falls past your lips when you feel Suguru’s arms tighten around you, the sound of a conspicuous sob from him almost makes you lose it but not right now. You need to be the one to keep it together and hold him, be his safe space and give him the assurance he needs to be vulnerable.
You resume playing with his hair, pressing a chaste kiss on his crown. "I love you."
And in that moment, Suguru crumbles in the presence of genuine devotion. He feels so ardently cared for, sheltered and utterly weak in your arms. Everything will be alright.
1K notes · View notes
wongyuuu · 2 months
Text
lens of ice | yjh | two (final)
Tumblr media
pairing: jeonghan x f!reader genre: figure skater jeonghan, light angst, a little fluff, these people are just in soo love, smut word count: 17k summary: jeonghan has only one chance left to make it to the olympics. as he embarks on this decisive journey, you, a documentarist, are set to follow him as he seeks the ultimate glory. warnings: minors do not interact, kissing, masturbation (f) a/n: i can't belive i actually managed to finish this one! i started to write it maybe in october and it took me forever but here it is. again, thank you to @ressonancee for giving me the idea and putting up with my shit💓
part one || part two (final)
Tumblr media
The thought of going back on your word crossed your mind, truthfully. You weren’t even sure why you said yes to dinner with Jeonghan in the first place.
It was a recipe for disaster. It was the only way you could possibly describe the situation, to begin with. The flirting had gotten out of hand, to the point where Seungkwan was already angry and had said “if he grows balls big enough to ask you out, please say yes, this tension is annoying”. Vernon had agreed.
When you heard that from Seungkwan, you thought that he was crazy, that he had completely lost his mind. While it was safe to say that you had developed a crush on Jeonghan, something completely inappropriate in your work, it was hard to tell where he stood.
You liked to think that from day one you were able to say what was on Jeonghan’s mind. You had been able to say that he was holding back on his answers and you called him out on his shit, something that proved to be very efficient, because after that he started to answer all of your questions with honesty. Or at least, you liked to think that he was.
It never really crossed your mind that Jeonghan might have some sort of interest in you. You thought that he was flirting more for sport than for anything else.
The rumors ran around, about how he was sort of a player but he was careful not to date any other skater. Not to create a sense of discomfort, someone had said on a forum online.
It was something that you had yet to ask him. About his love life. And there were two main reasons for that: 1) you didn’t know if it was something that he wanted to talk about and unless he had a wife or a serious girlfriend, it mattered very little to the documentary; 2) you didn’t want to know the answer.
It had never happened to you like that before. You had done so many interviews, went to many places, met so many different people, and not a single one of them was able to captivate you quite as Jeonghan had.
You knocked on the door and waited. A second later, Jeonghan opened the door. You had grown too used to seeing him in comfortable clothes, shirts that were way too big for him, sweats. The only piece of clothing that showed any shape of his body were the pants he used to practice and even then, everything was hidden under a large hoodie.
The man in front of you had tailored pants and a dress shirt on, the sleeves folded back, revealing his arm.
You cleared your throat, suddenly unaware of what to say.
“I was thinking you had given up,” he said with a smile, almost uncertain.
You shook your head immediately.
“There was a lot of traffic today, it’s a friday after all”
It was indeed friday but there wasn’t as much traffic as you made it seem. The truth was that you were late to leave your apartment. Just as you were leaving you got cold feet and sat down on the couch for about twenty minutes, wondering if you were doing the right thing.
What if whatever happened that night, let it be good or bad, affected your job? Realistically speaking, there was no way that it wouldn’t. If it turned out to be a bad date, then things could get awkward. And if it turned out to be good you simply wouldn’t know how to handle yourself or him.
“Sorry that I didn’t take you out, out. And this is all that I had to offer”
He took a step to the side, giving you enough space to walk in. Although you had been to his home many times and sort of knew how it looked from the heart, it felt different to walk in without having Seungkwan and Vernon at your back, carrying one too many bags of gear. The place looked all too different and familiar at the same time.
“No, this is great actually” you smiled at him.
Your smile grew bigger once you saw the table he had set. The room was half lit by candles, in the center of the table was a small vase with fresh flowers, the city behind the window a perfect canvas. A bottle of wine waited for the two of you and the plates, delicate porcelain, were set. Instead of sitting opposite each other, Jeonghan made it so that you were both facing the window.
“You said you liked the night view,” he said while scratching the back of his head.
You turned to him, smiling, wanting to reassure him that it was perfect.
“I really do,” you said softly “Did you cook?”
The apartment smelled heavenly. It was the smell of homemade food if you still even knew what that was like. At least you had never ordered food that smelled like that. Maybe ordering was something that you weren’t that good at, or maybe Jeonghan was just one of those people who went above and beyond even when just ordering.
“I did,” he said proudly “I don’t know if it tastes good, but I followed the recipe to the T”
He pulled the chair out for you, his smile sweet while he watched you. 
The little butterflies on your stomach found life again, suddenly floating around. You wanted to face-palm yourself. Just a few months before you thought the worst about Jeonghan and suddenly there you were, saying yes to a date with him, your heart hammering inside your chest. 
With one of his hands still on the back of our chair, Jeonghan reached for the bottle of wine, pouring some of it into the glass in front of you.
You expected him to sit by your side but he took a step back, making a turn to the kitchen. You started to get up to follow him, but Jeonghan came back and pushed you onto the chair again. 
“Let me help you,” you laughed, looking up at him.
Jeonghan scrunched his nose at you and shook his head. 
“You stay right here. I’m just going to bring the food out”
He squeezed your shoulder before moving to the kitchen.
You rested your chin on your hand, looking at the city in front of you. There were very few parts of town that had such a beautiful view, not that you were one to enjoy looking at lit-up buildings. But maybe it was the moment, it was the way the way your skin tingled where Jeonghan’s fingers had touched you. You pressed a hand to your chest, urging your heart to calm down a little.
You liked to think that you were only feeling that way because it had been a long time since you had dated someone, since anyone had shown real interest in you, since you wanted to get to know someone past the work environment. 
There was a little movement to your right before Jeonghan came back into the room. He set the dish in front of you and while you weren’t too sure what it was — it looked like some kind of stew — it smelled and looked amazing.
“I have to admit that I don’t usually cook a lot, or at all most times” he laughed “Most times someone comes in and cooks enough for a week or two, following the diets I have to be on. So all I have to do is take it out of the freezer and eat”
You watched as he set the dish in front of you, steam coming out of it, and put some on the place in front of you. He did the same for himself before finally sitting by your side. 
“I never saw someone around here, besides Joshua”
You took a sip of the wine before taking the spoon in your hand. 
“She usually comes when I’m out for practice, or in these past few months…” Jeonghan was in the middle of his sentence when he saw your writhed face “What’s wrong?”
“I’m really sorry,” you said, covering your mouth with both hands, trying to hold back your laugh.
Jeonghan looked at you, laughing too, but he was in complete disbelief.
“It can’t be this bad” he reached for his spoon.
You were already laughing when Jeonghan started to cough, taking a large gulp of the wine. How had he managed to fuck up so bad was beyond him. He followed the recipe to the details but somehow it tasted bitter.
“Did you taste it, at all?”
“I… no?”
He groaned when you started to laugh at him again but somehow ended up right along with you. 
“I swear I followed the recipe,” he said again. 
He wanted to have a nice date with you and get to know you better. Although it wasn’t going exactly as he had planned, seeing you laugh like that, so loudly and carefree somehow made it all worth it. Jeonghan made a mistake that he shouldn’t have, one that with someone else would have turned the night into a complete disaster but with you, it became something to laugh about. 
And Jeonghan loved the sound of your laugh. Since he met you on that first day, he wondered what it would be like to hear it. You had gone off on him, baring guns in both hands, your hostility screaming at him the entire time. 
He had done his best, or at least he thought he did. However, on the very next day, you called him off on his shit and said that the footage they had was unusable because he hadn’t been honest enough. 
Jeonghan hadn’t been honest enough with anyone, ever. He wasn’t even sure that he was honest with himself. He always worried about whether or not he was able to move forward. Pushing forward was one thing, actually living was another one, entirely too different. 
Throughout most of his life, Jeonghan only knew how to push forward, like a bull. The world around him mattered very little, the people around him mattered even less. 
Somewhere along the way, Jeonghan became all too obsessed with numbers and the love he had for the sport became a shadow. Even then, when he was doing everything in his power to make it to the next Olympics, his last, he wasn’t really sure it was something he still wanted or if he was doing all of that simply because it became second nature to him. 
Skating was like breathing but it had become awfully painful to do so. 
And then you came in and for the first time, he wanted to impress someone. Who he already was, or the version of him he showed, did nothing for you. You looked bored most of the time. Talking with Seungkwan about it had made things clear in his mind. And he felt it in the way the original direction of the documentary had changed. 
It wasn’t just about the sport anymore, how he was healing to make it to the competition. It truly became about him. 
“Maybe something was rotten, don’t worry about it” you patted his hand, reassuringly. 
Jeonghan saw a chance and he took it, holding your hand. For a second your fingers stilled in his, your eyes a little wide looking back at his. He almost pulled away from you, his dropping a little when you didn’t seem to want his touch. 
Then your eyes grew a little softer and ever so lightly you held his hand back. 
“I really wanted to have a nice dinner with you, though”
You couldn’t help but smile at his cute pout. 
“Maybe we could order something?” you pointed at the wine in front of you “In my experience, wine and pizza are a great combo”
Tumblr media
You were the first one in the office, which was a first for you. Not that you were someone who was constantly late. It was just that you were usually the last one to leave. 
However, sleep wasn’t something that came to you. You were too giggly, your mind wandering through places that normally it didn’t so you thought that working a little was maybe a good idea to take your mind off things. 
Not things. Someone. 
Yoon Jeonghan.
Despite the initial accident, the night had been nothing but perfect. When was the last time you had fun? Actual fun, not the kind you sort of force yourself to have not to bother others, or to try to fit in some sort of situation. 
The night with Jeonghan had been so easy. Conversation simply floating around you. You didn’t feel like you were there to interview him or to be interviewed. You were just talking, getting to know each other in a way that was so entirely different from how things had gone between the two of you until then.
Jeonghan, you learned, was a menace in school and with his sister, always playing pranks and still somehow managing to get away every single time. I could make such an innocent face and everyone would just fall for it, he said at some point. There was no hint of regret in his voice and his eyes were filled with mischievousness while he talked. 
“There were these kids who made fun of me because I was a small kid. I tried to let it go but it went on for months. One day,” he said smiling, the memory of the day still completely fresh in his mind “I was already angry that I couldn’t make a move, I don’t even remember what it was, to be honest. They kept picking on me, saying these snarky comments so I waited. One of them left his bag behind, with his skates hanging off of them. I filled both of them with boiling water. I still remember his mother screaming at him”
You gasped, sort of laughing but also a little bit in shock at the mind of a 9-year-old. But awfully dangerous too, for both of them. 
“What if he put the skates on?”
It was hard to mask the horror in your voice
“It was after practice, while we waited for our parents to pick us up. He left his skates back and went to play because his mom was late. I just wanted to ruin his skates, not for him to get hurt. I took his takes to the kitchen, poured the water in, and let it sit there for about ten minutes before I put his bag back where I found it”
Your laugh was too spontaneous and Jeonghan couldn’t help but laugh along. Since the moment he saw you for the first time, he thought of you as beautiful but watching you laugh, so openly and carefree was breathtaking. His heart behaved in a way that he didn’t see coming. 
“I think we need to send you to a doctor because I refuse to believe you’re normal”
Suddenly just holding your hand wasn’t enough. He wanted more. He wanted to kiss you, he wanted to know what it would feel like to press against yours and have you want it too. His mind, he had decided long before he even met you, was the kind that liked to play tricks. So maybe it was playing a trick and it came up with the thought that you wanted to kiss him too. Maybe he was imagining that your eyes moved from his eyes to his lips from time to time.
He wanted to make the first move, he knew that if he didn’t the chance of you doing it was very little. At the same time, he was scared that it might push you too far. You had gotten surprised enough when he held your hand.
Realistically he knew that it wasn’t much but the two of you worked together and there was still so much more to do, the Olympics were still months away. And although you weren’t going to see each other every single day in those months, you would still have enough meetings. 
So what if he read it all wrong and things suddenly became awkward again? The last thing he wanted to do was go back to how it was when you first time. You had been cold and distant but for an entirely different reason. 
“Jeonghan?” your voice had been the quiets he had ever heard from you “It might be the wine talking so if I do say something weird please blame it on the alcohol and tomorrow we pretend that I never said anything at all”
He looked the the two bottles already empty and the third one by the middle. It was, indeed, a lot of wine. 
“Is everything okay?”
You sighed, eyes closed for a second before finally looking at him again. 
“I need you to kiss me, okay?” you said exasperated “Because if you don’t I don’t think I…”
Jeonghan’s lips were on yours before you even finished what you were saying. He hoped that it was along the lines of I don’t think I will. 
Your lips, he decided right then, were his favorite thing in the entire world. He loved that when he pressed harder you made way for him, your lips parted to give him full access. Your hand moved from his chest, up to his shoulder, and then the nape of his neck, lightly tugging at his hair. And when you let out a small whimper on the back of your throat he swore his entire world almost became undone. 
The night had turned, somehow, into a make-out session. The two of you ended up on his couch, hands all over each other and bubbling laughter. And you refused to complain. It was everything you wanted and then so much more. 
Leaving had been so hard. All you wanted to do was to lose yourself in Jeonghan and all that he was and that silently promised to be, even if it was just for one night. You had to force yourself to leave and Jeonghan didn’t make it easier for you. If anything, he did his best to make it as hard as possible. 
He went down with you, and waited for the cab by your side, your hand tucked inside the pocket of his jacket while he played with your fingers. 
“You could let me take you back” you looked at him, eyebrows raised “I don’t mean driving but I could get in the cab with you and then come back”
“That’s just a waste of time. I’ll text you once I get home, I promise”
It was clear that your answer wasn’t the one he wanted but it was the only one he was going to get. He pulled you closer to him while you waited for the cab. The position was awkward you didn’t want to move, not in the least.
You were there for a couple of minutes before the taxi finally pulled up by your side. Jeonghan opened the door for you and waited for you to get inside. 
“Sir, I may not look like it, but I am crazy. So I hope you can get her some safe and sound”
The driver looked at you from his rearview mirror, eyes wide. 
“He really is” you played along “He once threw hot water at a kid”
Jeonghan laughed, a little too hysterically, too much wine you were sure. He stuck his head through the window and quickly kissed you. 
“Seriously, text me as soon as you get home”
With a groan, you hid your face in your hands, knowing fully well that the warmth in your cheeks didn't come from the weather but from the memory of Jeonghan. You laughed a little, remembering how you had to assure the driver that Jeonghan wasn't actually crazy and that he had never thrown hot water at a child. The man didn't seem to believe you but that mattered very little. 
You were overflown with a sort of happiness that was new and also so very scary. 
That giddiness was something you always wanted to feel, but never actually got around to it. Your previous boyfriends, not that there were many of them, never really managed to get that much of a reaction out of you. That was not to say that you didn’t like them at all, because you did. You wouldn’t have stayed with them for a second too long if there were no feelings at all involved. 
Your feelings for them, however, were so small compared with the way you felt about Jeonghan. It was one date, just one night, and it felt as if your entire life had changed in a way you thought that there would be no coming back from. 
“You’re early,” someone said behind you. 
You felt as if your soul had just left your body when your entire body jumped at the new sound. You had been so lost in your thoughts that you failed to notice Seungkwan walking in and of course, Vernon right behind him. 
“Jesus, what the fuck” you ran your hands over your face before turning around to face him. 
Like most mornings, Seungkwan had a coffee in his hand and his phone in the other one. Come to think of it, you weren’t sure you had ever seen him without a coffee in his hands. You weren’t sure how someone could drink so much coffee and still function but then again, he was drinking iced americano most times and the coffee in there had so much water that you were sure most of the caffeine was deluded so…
“So…” he wiggled his eyebrows at you.
God, you hated the fact that he knew. Behind him, Vernon also had an expectant face. Of course, he too wanted to know. The problem was that you didn’t want either of them to know. It was something you wanted to keep to yourself, locked behind countless doors. And maybe, just maybe, if you were lucky enough you’d get to savor that feeling again if a second date with Jeonghan ever happened. 
“Do you want to go over something or we can just… you know, work?”
“Aaah” he complained, carefully setting his coffee on his desk before spinning your chair until you turned to him “You can’t leave me in the dark like this”
“Us, actually,” Vernon said, doing the best he could to hide his smile. 
You had always thought that Vernon was someone who was on the quieter side of the world. Mostly he kept to himself but when paired with Boo Seungkwan? The man could be just as troublesome as the other one. Pair that with the fact that both of them were good friends who often went out together and you’d get yourself a perfect mix for a gossip disaster. 
Seungkwan, as the one who is so friendly everyone just wants to spill their deepest secrets because he looks like someone who’d always offer crazy advice. 
Vernon, as the quiet one everyone wants to tell their secrets because he looks like someone who’d keep all of them just to himself. 
The one thing everyone seems to forget is the fact that those two are friends and they talk. Hopefully only amongst themselves but you weren’t willing to bet on it. There was no way you’d want people to know that you went out with the one person who you were working with. The celebrity, most of all. 
“I’m not saying a word” you just shook your head and moved away from him "We have a lot of work to do, so get going".
“You’re not saying a word about what exactly?” Jihoon said, coming up from behind Seungkwan.
The younger man looked somewhat in distress, his eyes wide going from you to Jihoon, then back to you again. It was at that moment you realized that he had never really crossed your mind, in any way while you were Jeonghan, ever. He wasn’t even an afterthought or anything of the sort. He wasn’t even your boss. Jihoon was no one. 
“I went on a date last night, that’s all”
Tumblr media
It was as if you were the one entering the ice, the one who was being watched by so many eyes. Instead, you were one of the people watching. Your legs were shaking up and down, up and down, and there was no real way for you to stop it from happening. You felt as if your future was the one in line, not Jeonghan’s. 
To you, the only real consequence of him not making it was that that documentary would be canceled, for him it meant that everything he had worked for was lost and his last opportunity would never come. 
So, the reality of it was that you were nervous for him. Because you had finally gotten a real glimpse of Jeonghan and you knew how much it meant to him, all of it. He downplayed it, yes, but it was on everything he didn’t say. 
You could see it in his eyes whenever he mentioned figure skating, which was surprisingly very little when you didn’t have a camera on his face. It was clear in the practiced every single movement with such care, always aiming for precision, in an almost healthy way. 
Jeonghan downplayed it a lot but the sport meant everything to him. 
You sat in the bleachers, Seungkwan to your left and Vernon to your right. The three of you hadn’t gotten permission to be closer to the ice, or anywhere near really. Athlete after athlete performed, every single one of them doing so well that you felt your heart start to beat in a mismatched way. 
Your stomach was tied in knots, a lump on your throat as if you were about to spill your guts out at any given moment. You were too nervous and you hated it. Because if Jeonghan saw you, which you doubted, you wanted him to see someone who was confident and sure that he was going to do well, not someone who looked like she was about to faint. I will find you in the crow, he said the night before.
“You look like you’re the one about to be evaluated,” Seungkwan said.
He patted your hand, which unknowingly gripped your thigh as strongly as you possibly could, your knuckles turning white. 
“How did he do this for so many years?” you whispered
The question was more to yourself than to Seungkwan. 
In one of the many conversations, you had with Jeonghan, coming to mind. 
“The worst part of it all is being compared to other people,” he said, eyes distant, as if his mind was taking him to somewhere he didn’t want to be but at that moment he didn’t have a choice “Because what if I’m having a great day but the other isn’t? What if I had more chance to practice than others? What if I have an injury and the other doesn’t? We’re never on the same scale”
He looked troubled, eyes brows furrowed. You took his hand in yours, your fingers massaging his palm. His eyes looked a bit clearer when he turned to you but still, there was so much vulnerability in them. For a moment it was like seeing the same boy from the videos, someone who seemed powerful but was still so scared.
And ultimately that’s what it was. Fear. 
It was his last chance and he was scared if might fail. Jeonghan wasn’t too sure that he could live with himself if he did. 
“Truth is, there’s never going to be a scale. Ideally, it would be great but that is not the reality of it. I think your best should be enough, always. You’ve doing everything you can and we can all see it” you scooted closer to him on the couch, resting your shin on his shoulder “To me, you’re the best in the entire world, ever. It’s not much, I know, but I hope you know that I will unconditionally root for you”
Maybe it was unfair for Jeonghan to think like that, but for the first time in many years, he truly felt as if someone was by his side. You held his hand because you knew that he was scared, you cared and the reasons were yet unknown to him. Either way, he was going to hold onto it.
“I think that for people like us it sounds excruciating, but I bet he’s used to it” Seungkwan’s voice brought you back.
He hates it too, you wanted to say to choose to stay quiet. If there were things Jeonghan wanted to keep a secret, even if it was opposite to what you were supposed to do, you would keep your mouth shut. 
Even before the screams, you felt something swift in the air and it could only be described as Jeonghan. It was as if the air suddenly turned electric and his present, all on its own, larger than the small arena you were in. When you finally saw him, the air got stuck in your lungs.
On a daily basis, Jeonghan was an extremely handsome man. Almost inhuman and unfair to others around him. But that day, while he walked in, he was indescribable. Nothing about him was normal.
It was like seeing a work of art in motion as if a painting on display in a fancy museum had come to life and was walking among the mere mortals of that gymnasium.
Jeonghan wore blue, a color that you discovered was his signature. In every competition he participated in, even as a child, Jeonghan wore blue. Whether it was the entire outfit or just some detail. He always wore blue.
And then, like a moth drawn to a flame, Jeonghan's eyes met yours and he smiled. A different smile than the one you had seen him give so many times before. It was more natural, even sincere. You wanted to have smiled back and waved at him, but it was as if your entire body was frozen and any movement was impossible. And maybe you didn't want even more attention focused on yourself. The people sitting next to the three of you were whispering among themselves, so the last thing you wanted was for them to find out that that beautiful smile was directed at you.
"I don't know what's going on between you, but if someone smiled like that at me, right in the middle of the arena, with dozens of people watching, I'd get married immediately" Seungkwan didn't share the same feeling of remaining still and silent, but at least he was polite enough to whisper at your side.
A whimper escaped your mouth, but you chose not to say anything else. Because, in truth, you didn't even know what was happening between the two of you. There wasn't a conversation, a simple "yes, we're together", but whatever it was, however long it lasted, you were willing to enjoy every second of it.
Jeonghan positioned himself in the center of the ice, eyes closed, and took a deep breath, once, twice. The first chords of If I Could See You Again sounded through the scattered speakers and a new and completely unknown feeling spread throughout your body. Pride, perhaps.
One after another, Jeonghan executed the moves with precision, almost exactly like he had done in training. You couldn't tell if the differences were good or bad, which could take or add points to the total.
Almost at the end, with just a few seconds left until the end of the short program, Jeonghan lost his balance. Not to the point where he fell, but enough that he had to touch the ground to stop himself from falling. The three of them said, in unison, "shit", Seungkwan making a crying sound in the back of his throat.
With one last turn, the performance came to an end and the song ended. Even with the mistake, the crowd exploded in screams and applause. The famous rabbits and stuffed animals were thrown towards Jeonghan. Following the people around you, you also stood up, clapping your hands.
Your heart begged Jeonghan to look in your direction again, even for a second. Jeonghan raised his head and the smile he gave was that rehearsed one, that you had seen many times before and that wasn't even remotely real. The irritation at his mistake was clear in his eyes, but no one seemed to notice.
He bowed to the judges and the audience behind them, sliding across the ice to catch one of the swooping rabbits. Finally, he turned towards you, his eyes immediately meeting yours. Throwing all caution out the window, you said "you did well" without making any real sound and hoped he understood.
Despite the bad taste in his mouth, left by his complete inability to complete the performance without mistakes, Jeonghan felt as if the hand that was squeezing his heart loosened when he looked at you. He waved once more to the audience and skated to the exit. His coach was waiting for him. The man's face was a strange mixture of relief and frustration.
"You did well," he said, even though the words were the same as yours, the intention was completely different "It wasn't such a serious mistake, so it shouldn't have too many points deducted. If it goes well tomorrow, we can advance to the world championship"
Jeonghan nodded. He didn't need to hear that, he knew, better than anyone, what was at risk and what he needed to do.
A performance without errors, that's all he needed.
Tumblr media
At the request of Jeonghan's coach, there was no filming after the performance.
"He can talk about everything tomorrow. Now he has to focus on the free program"
You had no arguments to argue and you didn't want to either. Filming was, by far, your last concern. All you wanted to know was if Jeonghan was okay. You spent hours debating whether to call him or not, and in the end, you decided not to.
The big truth was that you had no idea where the lines were, which ones you could cross, and which ones you should religiously stay behind.
Therefore, you chose to send a text. Are you okay? was all you ask. Then you sat on the bed, legs crossed, and waited.
You didn't know what to do if Jeonghan would respond, or if he was concentrating to the point of not going near his cell phone - which was probably a good idea.
Jeonghan had the fourth-best score among short programs. Seungkwan explained that despite the mistake and the near fall, Jeonghan had moves that were considered difficult to execute and those were worth more points and he was precise in almost all of them, which resulted in him having a good score.
"If he hadn't made any mistakes, it's possible he would have come first," he commented, a hint of sadness in his voice.
Seungkwan was easily a fan. He didn't make the slightest point of hiding it. You weren’t one at first, you knew the bare minimum about skating, but as time went on, as you got to know Jeonghan, it was completely inevitable.
"I'm sure he can do it" Seungkwan assured.
The phone vibrated at first and half a second later the screen lit up and Jeonghan's name shone on the screen, a photo of his smiling face above his name. You hadn't uploaded a photo when you saved his contact, but you were sure who the culprit was.
"When did you put a picture of yourself on my phone?"
Jeonghan felt relief wash over his body just hearing your voice, knowing you were smiling on the other side. He was able to take a deep breath for the first time since the morning.
He couldn't quite understand how he had gotten into that situation. He couldn't even pinpoint a catalyzing moment, the moment he realized something was changing. One moment you were just someone he had to work with and then you became someone he longed for. There was no middle ground. It was like someone flipped a switch in his mind and his heart, as he could finally just be. No strings attached, no fear.
With you, he was simply Jeonghan, the person. Not the athlete, not the guy who appeared on television now and then. He was just another guy, with a normal job, a normal life. There are many normal ones, Jeonghan, yours may be different from mine and that's okay, you said it once.
Maybe that was the moment he realized he was in love with you. Maybe perceived isn't the right word, but it was the moment he allowed himself to feel.
"It's an inconceivable fact that you don’t have a picture of me on your phone"
You laughed at it and he wished he could be close to you. He wanted all your moments, no matter how small and bad they were, to be engraved in his mind.
"My phone has a password," you said. Your tone wasn't reproachful, you weren’t irritated. If anything, you were happy to be talking to him, that he was in your life.
"Your birthday isn't a very clever password," he said, laughing.
You wanted to ask how he knew, but the answer was pretty obvious: Seungkwan.
"Are you okay?" you asked, tone cautious. "No pain?"
You hated having to change the subject so abruptly, hated that you were the one changing the light tone of the conversation. But you had to know, you had to ask.
It was a second, nothing more than that, that turned on a warning light in your head. Jeonghan was sitting, waiting for his score announcement, when his face quickly contorted. It was there and then it wasn't. But you had seen that scene before, you knew exactly what it meant.
"Yes, I am," he said, still trying to keep his tone light.
"Jeonghan..."
He wondered when you were able to understand that he was lying. It didn't really matter. Jeonghan liked knowing that you knew him well enough to know the difference. It was the first time anyone cared enough to understand.
Jeonghan realized that by your side, he experienced many firsts.
"A little discomfort, but I told the doctor" he was quick to say, knowing exactly what was coming next "I have ice on my foot right now. I can compete tomorrow, it won't be a problem"
He wasn't lying. He felt the discomfort after his body cooled down and told the doctor. Maybe it was in the hopes of having a fair reason to give up. He had never talked about being in pain so quickly.
"I'm not confident" he admitted "It's like I was 12 again, in my first competition. I think I was more confident before, to be honest"
He lay down on the bed, staring at the hotel ceiling. It was a simple beige ceiling, hideous, but somehow, it gave him some peace of mind.
“You did really well in your first competition,” you said, hoping that would somehow help him.
Jeonghan just hummed in response but stayed quiet. He had too much on his mind, you knew. It was the shadow of a possible new injury, the idea of not being well enough to perform the movements easily, and the fact of not being confident. Everything had turned into a big snowball and he no longer knew what to do with all these problems that seemed unsolvable.
"Do you remember that day, when you were training and everyone was around? Even Jihoon showed up to watch, which was quite strange by the way" Jeonghan said yes, quietly, which was enough for you to continue " You weren't confident that day either and asked everyone to leave"
"Except you," he said.
"Yes, except me" you smiled, the memory still fresh in your mind, as if it had happened the day before, and not months before "We were there for another half an hour and you didn't make a single mistake after getting it right. I know it's harder now, that you can't kick all those people out of there, but you can imagine that it's just the two of us again. I told you before and I can tell you as many times as you need to hear, I'm rooting for you unconditionally"
Jeonghan sighed, his body finally relaxing completely.
"You could be more eloquent in your cheering," he said, his tone mocking.
"If I'm too eloquent, we won’t use Vernon’s videos," you said laughing.
Your laugh, Jeonghan decided, was the eighth wonder of the world. It was his choice and the only right one among all the possibilities.
"You could at least smile"
"That I can do"
Tumblr media
You sat in the same place as the day before, the only difference was that Seungkwan was on the left and Vernon was on the right. But you were in exactly the same place as you promised Jeonghan you would. Not that you exactly had much of a choice, it was assigned seats, but at least you were lucky to have the same ones.
Also like the previous day, Jeonghan was the last to compete. You watched them all carefully, trying your best to spot mistakes, but you could only see the obvious ones. When, for example, the athlete who was in second, taking into account only the short program scores, fell. You knew you shouldn't, but you couldn't contain your squeak of joy. Both Seungkwan and Vernon laughed, but you knew they shared the feeling.
Everyone wanted Jeonghan to do well, of course.
Exactly like before, the world seemed to stop when Jeonghan entered. And this time he knew exactly where to look, where you were in the crowd. When he smiled and you smiled back, he felt like he had made the right decision at some point. Because, somehow, you were there and everything seemed like it would work out.
And even if everything went wrong, Jeonghan felt like he would be okay too.
Tumblr media
You wanted to scream with the rest of the audience when Jeonghan took the podium in second place. You knew it wasn't what he wanted, but you also knew I wanted it more than he expected. But, as you had told him on the phone, if I were more eloquent, all the footage would be lost.
You excused yourself from Seungkwan and walked to the other side, where it was empty. When the silver medal was finally placed around your neck, you clapped and screamed like the other girls next to you. Jeonghan's free program was perfect, the deductions made by the judges, according to Seungkwan, made no sense at all - but you were sure it was the fan version of him speaking than anything else.
If it weren't for the lowest score from the previous day, Jeonghan would have been on the podium in first place. However, when he finished his presentation, he seemed to care little whether he had gotten a good score or the position he would get. He seemed satisfied with his performance. His smile as he bowed to the audience was genuine and joyful.
"Will you allow me to be honest?" Joshua said beside you.
You brought a hand to your heart, your body moving involuntarily away from him.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you"
You smiled and shook your head. There were a few times that your and Joshua's paths crossed. He was Jeonghan's childhood friend and would occasionally appear. You were so focused on Jeonghan and on his performance that you hadn't noticed that you hadn't seen Joshua on either day of the competition.
“Of course,” you said clearing your throat.
Joshua stuck his hands in his pants pockets, his eyes still focused on Jeonghan who was walking down the podium and returning to the locker room. He looked at the medal, a small smile on his face, almost completely covered by his long hair.
"I thought you would be a problem, but I'm glad I was wrong"
When Jeonghan was out of sight, you finally turned to Joshua. He seemed to apologize with his eyes.
“A problem,” you repeated, to make sure you weren’t hearing things.
He scratched his head and smiled.
"Yes, a problem. You have become a central point for Jeonghan in recent times, I thought you could be dangerous to reach the goal of the Olympics. But looking at him now, I think you were never a problem, but rather the solution"
Tumblr media
It was impossible to contain your smile for the rest of the night. Everyone left together after the press conference, which for once was not a fiasco.
You and Jeonghan never told anyone else that you were together. You want to know for sure what it was. But when everyone arrived at the restaurant, the two of you, Seungkwan, Vernon, Joshua, and the coach, everyone just seemed to move in a way to let you and Jeonghan sit next to each other.
Every time he placed his hand on your leg, a new wave of heat spread throughout your body. You were sure that Jeoghan knew what he was knowing, that he knew the effect it had. When you looked at him, he was looking at you smiling. He looked like a naughty child, who knew he was up to no good and was just waiting for someone to show up and tell him off.
The coach seemed uncomfortable, and now and then he cleared his throat. He only knew the rumors about Jeonghan, he had never seen him with a woman before. Joshua acted as if it were just another day, something he was already used to. Seungkwan and Vernon exchanged looks and laughed, you were sure you would have to deal with them later. The teasing would be tireless and at this point, it would be impossible to stop rumors from spreading around the office.
The thought that others might know what was going on between you and Jeonghan didn't scare you, at least not the way you thought it would. You were afraid that people would think you were less professional because of this, and that you might lose credibility. But none of that seemed to matter.
For the first time in a long time, you were happy. You didn't care if they knew because, at the end of the day, it was nobody's business.
You had made a name for yourself and it had nothing to do with your personal life.
And Jeonghan... he made you feel things you had never felt before. Your other boyfriends, as much as you liked them, didn't compare. The feeling you had for them seemed insignificant in comparison.
You wanted, as absurd as it might seem, to take care of Jeonghan. Not that he needed it, you knew he could manage just fine on his own. You wanted to be someone he could share his problems with, someone he could count on. You wanted to be someone who could be a safe haven, someone he didn't need to hide from.
And you thought, to a certain extent, you had become that person.
And without realizing it, even if unintentionally, Jeonghan had become that person for you too. When you had nightmares you wanted to call him, to be comforted by his sweet voice. You liked it when he held your hand, just because he liked it. You liked that he sent texts at random moments that made you smile and that left everyone around you wondering what had happened.
You had never believed that I could fall in love, not like that. The mere thought of liking someone like that seemed impossible, at least to you. You still had memories of your mother crying, right after your father left. You had promised yourself that you would never let anyone approach you like that. But Jeonghan showed up and it was as if the thought had never crossed your mind.
After the initial shock of meeting Jeonghan, it was easy to understand why people fell in love with him.
Even at that moment, when he wasn't doing anything much, just talking to Joshua and Seungkwan, the infamous butterflies didn't seem to leave you.
"Do you want to leave?" he asked suddenly.
Everyone had already eaten and some were waiting for dessert. It felt wrong to get up.
"Are you tired?"
As if on cue, Jeonghan closed his eyes and yawned, making everyone laugh, even the coach. He grabbed your hand and pulled you lightly, his head slightly tilted towards the restaurant door.
"We're going now," he said as he took your hand and in his and guided you out of the restaurant.
Tumblr media
The thing about Jeonghan is that you never wanted to let him go. Once he was around you never wanted him to leave. So when he offered to take you to your room and said yes when you invested him in, you almost giggled like a teenager. 
Is that how people felt when they liked someone? You knew the feeling of liking someone, yes, but it was different. A new feeling that was both exciting and scary. Your brain was partially inclined to run away and partly desperate to just stay. 
When liking someone you always think back to your mother and how she never really recovered after your father left. Of course, she smiled and had many happy moments over the years but there was this distinct glow in her eyes that simply vanished the second he left. 
You had always promised yourself that you would never give someone that much power over you and while you knew that you weren’t quite there yet with Jeonghan, you knew that there was a high chance of becoming something so great one day you’d have no control over. 
Without much thought, you took his hand on your and kissed his knuckles. 
"What 's that for?"
You shook your head, still keeping his hand close to your face, sighing when he cupped your cheeks.
"Nothing, I'm just really proud of you. You did so well today"
Jeonghan laughed, his eyes going top your eyes then to your lips then back to your eyes again. 
"I didn't win" he felt the need to remind you.
You turned your face to the side and planted a kiss on the palm of his hand.  
"It was your first time back, you did fantastically"
"Thank you for being there," he said, voice suddenly serious "It really meant a lot to me"
You stood on your tip toes and gave him a peck on the lips. 
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world.” 
Jeonghan wasn’t ready to let you go, not when he finally had you in his arms again, without anyone around. He pulled you closer to his body, his left hand at the base of your neck. He kissed your cheek, first the left one, then the right one, the tip of our nose until he finally reached your lips. 
At first, the kiss was sweet, tentative, kind even. The tip of his tongue touched your bottom lip. Suddenly it was like all hell had broken loose. It was him and you but everywhere. He ran his hand down your neck, to your back until he reached the hem of your shirt. Goosebumps erupted when you felt his skin over yours. 
His touch was so small, so insignificant, but it had such a great effect on you. You were out of breath partially from the kiss and partially from his touch. It was too little but also too much.
You pulled back from him and the look in his eyes was almost enough to bring you to your knees. You had never really seen the whole “his eyes darkened” thing but in that moment there was no better way to describe him. Jeonghan had a look in his eyes that you had never seen before, different from anything you had witnessed.
It took your breath away.
“I’m gonna” you pointed at the bathroom and quickly left him all alone in the room. 
You needed a moment, hell not even you knew why you needed a moment. Your heart felt like it was about to combust with how quickly it was beating. You just needed to gather yourself, and maybe calm down a little bit before you went back into the room. 
You twisted the faucet over the bathtub. A shower would have been faster, yes, but a little too fast. You didn’t wait for it to completely fill up to get in. You pulled your clothes off swiftly, leaving them on the floor beside the tub, before getting in.
Your mind was racing. Maybe a good way to describe it would be to say that there was a puppy with too much energy running from side to side in your head. 
Five minutes went by before you heard the door opening and Jeonghan walked him. To his merit, his eyes stayed on your face the entire time until he sat down by your side. 
“Is everything okay?” he asked, shin resting on the edge of the tub. 
That was such a good question because you had no idea if there was something wrong. There isn’t, a voice said inside your mind. There was no reason for you to have run off like that. 
“I’m not used to this,” you said as you reached for his hand, intertwining your fingers in his. His hand was so warm against your cold one “For a second it was too much”
“Did I…?” 
You started to shake your head before he could get another word out. 
“No, no, no” you sat down on the tub and moved as close to him as possible, spilling some water out in the process but Jeonghan didn’t seem to mind “I like you, really like you”
“Is that such a bad thing?”
“In my world? Yes”
In your world, Jeonghan had managed to gather, all emotions made you want to run away. It was easier for you to deal with the bad, the sad, the hateful. The good part of it was hard because you had no real starting point for it. 
“Let me show you my world, then”
He didn’t really wait for your answer and he leaned over the edge and captured your lips in his. His touch was tender as he crawled your face, leaving a trail of kisses from your lips, down your neck, till your collarbone. He smiled against your skin when he hit a sensitive spot that made you go a little breathless as a small moan left your lips. 
Jeonghan ran the tip of his index finger across the valley of your breasts before cupping one of them in his hand. His thumb running over your hard nipples. Your moan was swallowed by his lips. 
Your entire body became hot under his touch. Melting, falling apart and he had barely even touched you at all. It was too much but not at all enough. 
Jeonghan kept exploring your body with his hand, running it down your stomach. Ever so slowly he moved his hand further down. 
A gasp left your lips when his finger found your clit, drawing small, slow, circles. You leaned forward, your forehead pressed on the crook of his neck. His skin was warm, hot even. You turned your head to the side slightly until your lips came in contact with the skin of his neck. You pressed small kisses on him, sucking his skin at the same time he applied more pressure against you. 
Jeonghan pulled back for a second, his focus solely on you, on your hooded eyes, the way your cheeks had turned a pretty shade of pink, how your lips were slightly parted, the way his name came out of your lips in the sweetest moan when his finger slipped over your folds, teasing your hole. 
He was so completely enamored by you, in ways he never thought to be possible. In his past relationships, he had always been careful. He didn’t want to get caught but also didn’t want to fall too much. His life only had one direction, one goal. When he was by your side he just wanted to slow down a little and enjoy every single second he could with you. 
Jeonghan wanted you to feel the same, this new sense of freedom that only came with these feelings, this desire to know every corner of someone’s soul. 
Your grip on Jeonghan’s arms thighed, your eyes watering as you let your head fall back. He pushed two fingers into you, slowly until he was knuckles deep. He sucked in a breath when your walls squeezed around his fingers, pulling him deeper as he curled his fingers and then slightly opened them. He rubbed the heel of his hand over your clit as he slowly pumped his fingers in and out.
He was hard inside his pants, the zipper of his jeans making minimal pressure, not anywhere close to what he needed but he was happy with what he got, with the day he saw you let all of your walls down around him. 
Jeonghan leaned forward a little, taking your lips into his, his tongue exploring your mouth as he moved his fingers faster, his thumb rubbing on your clit just as fast. 
“Jeonghan…” you cried his name, again and again as your breathing got shallow. 
You held his face in your hands, your thumb over his bottom lips, your eyes never leaving his as you became undone in front of him. Your legs quivering, your body arching until your chest was pressed against him, your loud moans filling the bathroom alongside the sounds of his fingers moving in and out of you at a relentless pace. 
“Don’t stop, please, don’t stop” you asked
He had no intention of doing so, not until your body stopped shaking until you rode the last of your orgasm.
It was the most beautiful sight in the world. The seven wonders? Nothing compared to you.
Breathing heavily you leaned over Jeonghan, small spasms still making your body shake. You had boyfriends before, fucked all of them, some of them weren’t even your boyfriend and it had never felt like that, earth-shattering, live altering. You kissed him tenderly. 
God, you  were in love with the man.
Tumblr media
You never thought of what it would be like to wake up in someone’s arms. It was never something you thought about too often when you had a boyfriend and it wasn’t something you craved. Being on your own, was something you were used to, whether it was on life or in your bed. Waking up to Jeonghan was something entirely new experience and one that you could never say that you didn’t like. 
His body was turned to yours, and his hand possessively held your thigh. Most of his face was covered by his hair and this time around you didn’t shy away from pushing it away from his face.
“This is not creepy at all,” Jeonghan said, his eyes still closed. 
You were startled for a second, your body involuntarily moving away from him and then settling back into him. This time your fingers weren't feather-like. You allowed yourself to fully touch him, to enjoy the feeling of his skin against yours.
“I can leave, if you want” 
You slightly rose from the bed, but it was far enough for Jeonghan. He tugged at your waist and pulled back on the bed and got on top of you.
“You’re not going anywhere”
Jeonghan pressed his lips over yours and you felt your body melt under him. Was there ever a better place in the world to be? You weren’t too sure if there was, but if such place even existed you didn’t want to know. 
Tumblr media
“Tell me a secret,” he asked.
It was almost noon and you were still in bed with Jeonghan. He had asked for room service a couple of hours before and after eating both of you got back in bed, cuddling like two teenagers in love. 
“I used to have a crush on Jihoon,” you said with a laugh. 
There was a moment of silence, Jeonghan's body growing stiff by your side. That wasn't your intention at all, you wanted to bring a laugh out of him, and not make him uncomfortable. 
“I don't think that's something you say while in bed with a guy, naked” 
You laughed giving him a quick peck on the lips.
“You said to tell you a secret, that’s the only one I have left to give you,” you said pushing a strand of hair away from his forehead, smiling at him “When I met him, I didn’t know that he was going to be my boss, in fact I thought that he was regular employee like me. A couple of weeks later I found that that not only he was my boss but that he also had a long-term girlfriend, who is now engaged to”
Instead of focusing only on the crush part, which was one Jeonghan had no real desire to know about, he turned all of his attention to the first part of what you said, that you had no other secret to tell. 
Though he thought of it as impossible, as everyone has secrets, he knew that you were somehow telling him the truth.
“And now?” 
He propped his chin on your shoulder, his eyes shining as he waited for an answer. 
You found that running your hand through his hair and playing with it was a new hobby and one that both of you seemed to enjoy. Jeonghan had fallen asleep twice while your hand was on his head.
“Now he's just a boss who's made me take a project I didn't want” you ran your finger over his nose and booped the tip “But now I’m really glad I did. Maybe the best decision forced on me in years?”
You couldn’t help but laugh when Jeonghan placed several loud kisses all over your face.
“Your turn” 
You lightly pushed him away, just enough to see his face again. 
“I’m constantly terrified,” he said after a few minutes in silence “I keep seeing myself falling on the ice, like it happened last night. When I close my eyes, that’s the only thing I see”
It was something hard to admit, even to himself. Failing was like a shadow that daily dark cloud following him wherever he went. His mind and dreams were filled with images of him doing the exact opposite of what he was supposed to do, of what he was expected to do. 
Though he had been practicing hard, to exhaustion even, and did his best to put a great face, telling everyone just how confident he was, the truth was that Jeonghan wasn’t confident at all in himself. The chances of him making it were very low and though he did manage to get a good score and placed high on the podium, he wasn’t sure it would be enough to get him to the Olympics, much less to win it. 
“I’m not a sports person, right?” Jeonghan nodded enthusiastically and pushed him, making him laugh “But I think sometimes falling is inevitable. You know something I believe in? You”
Jeonghan couldn’t help but smile at the words. He felt as if the hand squeezing his heart had let go of him. He felt light.
“If there’s someone in this world that can go through all of this, injuries, surgeries, rehab and still get to compete on the same level as before. Maybe even better. I believe in you. I hope you can too”
Tumblr media
Months Later
Tumblr media
Jeonghan hissed as he slowly pulled the sock off. The usually cream skin was turning an ugly dark shade of purple, his ankle already twice as big as was supposed to be. He wanted to scream out in frustration. 
Of course, he had to get hurt again, of course, it had to be on the day before he was set to compete. 
It was like whoever was writing the script of his life enjoyed putting him through pain. Jeonghan finally felt as if his life was falling into place. He was feeling healthy, he felt as if every time he got on the ice he was getting better, improving his performance every single time. And then there was you, who came into his life seemingly like a storm and turned his world upside down in ways he wasn’t aware he needed. 
He had never felt more at ease, comfortable, than when he was with you. It had been a very long time since there was any need to shoot at his place but he always found himself calling you, or going to you. On days when you had to work late, you’d still come over and crawl into his bed, attaching yourself to him as if it was where you were supposed to be all along. You’d place a kiss on his spine and drift off to sleep without a word. Then, if there was no early schedule or practice, the two of you would just take turns cooking and talking about everything and nothing at all.
When he was with you, Jeonghan knew he had found the balance he had always looked for. It wasn’t the loud and reckless kind of relationship like the one he had before. With you Jeonghan felt at peace, home in many different ways. He liked to think that you felt the same way about him too.
Maybe he was being too greedy in wanting the creer, the legacy, as well as the love life but there was no way he was willing to let either one go, even if it meant that his blood would be covering the ice at the end of his performance. 
“How are you” the door to his shared room was suddenly flung open and Joshua walked in “feeling…?”
His friend's voice got lower as his eyes moved from Jeonghan’s face to his ankle, then back to his face again. Joshua moved without saying a word. He opened the mini bar and pulled whichever can was colder. 
“Does Bumzu know about this?”
It was weird to hear his coach’s name and he wasn’t too sure why. He said the name countless times since he was a teenager, he even said it earlier that day, but you had never said it. You’d always refer to him as just coach, even while directly talking to him. You never said his name and the man didn’t seem to mind it either. 
Jeonghan looked back at his foot and then at his ankle. He had no idea how it had gotten that bad. He felt a little pain after the eighteen-hour flight so as soon as he settled down in his room he put some ice on it, which had seemingly done the trick. It looked fine. No purple bruise, no swelling. His ankle looked fine and felt fine, so he left to attend the open ceremony and then headed to practice for the next two days. He felt nothing. He was fine. 
Until he, clearly, wasn’t.
“Does she know?”
Joshua pulled his leg up on the bed and put his feet up on two pillows. Jeonghan hissed again when he felt the ice against his skin and let his body fall back on the mattress.
“No, and she can’t know” he covered his eyes with his arm, sighing “I’ll tell Bumzu tomorrow”
“Don’t you think this should go into the documentary?” Joshua asked as he rolled the can from his ankle to the arch of his foot rhythmically “Don’t you think your girlfriend should know about this?”
Jeonghan played with the word on his tongue for a second. Girlfriend. Neither of you had ever labeled the relationship, too focused on the moment, on enjoying what you had and charging forward together. A label didn’t seem all too important. It was the kind of relationship that was always evolving but somehow staying the same. 
“If she finds out, she’ll ask me to stop” he paused finally looking at his friend “And if she does, I will”
He couldn’t help but think about your face. The way you smiled while holding his hands in yours sitting on his couch, just a few minutes before the two of you had to leave for the airport. Your eyes shone as you told him how much you believed in him, that you knew he wanted to win but it would be okay if he didn’t.
It was the kind of speech he heard many many times before in his life and he always hated it. It always seemed shallow, just empty words thrown in the wind. But when it came from you, when those words left your lips they felt genuine, he knew it wasn’t something you just said because it was what you thought he wanted to hear.
“I’ll scream the loudest this time,” you said laughing as you ran your fingertips over his eyebrows and then tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. Jeonghan couldn’t help you lean into your touch. “I’ll be sitting away from Seungkwan and Vernon, so there really won’t be any way for me to ruin the footage”
The words I love you slipped out of Jeonghan’s mouth with ease, as they have always been there, like he was used to saying them. It was never been easy for him, even to his mother and sister. He loved them, of course he did. He showed it to them in all ways he could think of, but he never said. At least not as an adult.
Home, he had decided. Your eyes were his home. You were. 
Jeonghan was certain that he would remember that moment forever. The way you leaned forward, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. The way you whispered I love you too. How you broke into a smile when you chastely kissed him and added so much it’s insane.
“Maybe she would be right” Joshua’s voice pulled him back to reality “Maybe you should stop. What if this gets bad enough that you can’t even walk anymore? What if…”
Jeonghan sat back up again. 
“Do you remember when we were kids and I told you that I wanted a gold medal, an Olympic gold medal?” he suddenly asked.
Joshua closed his eyes and sighed. Obviously, he remembered it but he wished Jeonghan didn’t. Most of all, he wished Jeonghan wouldn’t use a promise he made almost twenty years before. 
“Shua” Jeonghan pressed, his tone almost desperate. He felt bad, of course, but it was the only thing he had to stop Joshua. His last weapon to use. 
“I promised I would help in any way possible since we all knew I wasn’t that great of a skater”
It was a stupid promise, made by stupid boys but even as adults they both stuck to it, like it was some sort of pact.
“The best way to help is to keep it a secret for the next 3 days”
Tumblr media
The thing about competitions is that they are exhausting but not just for the people actively competing but for those working on the sidelines as well. you had been following Jeonghan for months now, to all sorts of competitions, rehab, and just his life in general. 
In almost all of them he managed to make it to the podium and each time he looked brighter, and happier with his performance and the outcome. Though everything seemed to be going just fine, there was this itch in the back of your mind, telling you that there was something wrong with him. 
Jeonghan seemed to be taking good care of his body and he was periodically going to the doctor. You weren’t too sure if that was a good thing. On one hand, it was good because it meant that he was in constant care for a serious injury. But it could also mean that he was in pain and that itch on your brain was right. 
Whatever it was, Jeonghan wasn’t willing to share. He kept saying that he was fine and you were trying to believe him, you really were. But there was something in his eyes, in the way his body moved a little more stiff than usual. He had not looked at your direction once - which was something unusual.
The rational part of your brain said that it was just stress, crazy high amounts of it tugging at all of his nerves and muscles. It was his last chance so it was natural. He was an athlete focused on the competition ahead, of course, he would be a little different from what you were used to seeing. 
However, the irrational and insecure part of your brain told you that regretted saying that he loved you and didn’t know how to take it back. That didn’t make any sense at all. Jeonghan wasn’t the kind of person who just said things to please the people around him. He would rather keep quiet than say something he didn’t mean. You knew that. You knew him. If he said it, then he meant it. 
So why was he…
“Is he hurt again?” a familiar voice asked to your right. 
You had completely forgotten that Jihoon would attend as part of the documentary crew. He had mentioned it the last time you spoke on the phone a couple of weeks before, he also sent an e-mail the day before you left but it had completely escaped your mind.
You blinked at him, your brain not fully registering what he said. 
“What?” you asked.
Jihoon raised his eyebrows at you. He pointed at the rink where Jeonghan and the other skaters were warming up. His warm-up was different from what he usually did. He was just moving around, barely using his left foot. 
“He’s not using his foot a whole lot” Jihoon pointed out. 
He kept talking but his voice became just a distant sound as you pulled your phone out of your pocket, frantically searching for Joshua’s number. He was by the rink talking, in what you assume to be a hushed voice, with Bumzu. 
You bit your lips while the phone rang. Despair spread through your chest when Joshua pulled his phone out of his pocket and showed it to the coach. Both men visibly sighed. 
Tears started to well up in your eyes the moment Joshua’s tired voice greeted you.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Tell me what’s wrong with him, please” you begged.
Joshua pinched the bridge of his nose and turned around, making sure that you couldn’t see his expression. A terrible sign.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, everything is going according to plan”
“I may still be confused about some rules but my eyes work just fine, Joshua. Something is wrong, even Jihoon can see it”
You watched as he shook his head. 
“He’s just hiding his game. We prepare a new program, entirely different, he doesn’t want to show any of it or overwork himself during the warm-up”.
Alarms went off in your head and a whinny sound left your lips. You were well aware of the three pairs of eyes on you, judging the very uncharastically way, so unlike yourself, you were behaving but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. 
“Listen“ Joshua’s tone was stern, irritated. Not once had he sounded like that “This is a competition, the biggest one could ever take part in, as well as his last one ever. Yes, things are different this time around. I need you to understand that and not add any pressure or stress on him. Can you do that?”
He didn’t really give you a chance to reply.
“He’s here as an elite athlete and you’re here as the documentarist in charge of capturing every second of it. I highly suggest you start acting accordingly”
The line went mute. The pressure on your head, on your heart, was so big you let your body fall on the seat again. Joshua had never been quite as harsh on you, or at all. He had always been soft spoken, and polite. You doubted that even under the obvious stress of the moment he would act like that. Something was definitely wrong but he wasn’t willing to share, which meant that Jeonghan’s condition was bad. It also meant that he didn’t want you to know what was wrong, the extension of the problem.
Seungkwan was suddenly by your side, his hand on your shoulder. You pushed the single tear that rolled down away and stood up again. 
“Is everything okay?”
You just nodded and took the camera he had in his hands, adjusting the settings as an excuse to stay quiet long enough to be able to regain your ability to speak once more. You pushed the camera into Jihoon’s hand with a little more force than necessary, not really caring that he was your boss. His only reaction was to furrow his eyebrows at you one more time. 
“Make yourself useful, will you” it didn’t matter if he was there to just watch or not “Do not lose coach out of sight”
You turned your body to Seungkwan and Vernon.
“Seungkwan, you're with Joshua. Vernon and I will focus on Jeonghan” you pointed at the seats you were supposed to take, indicating that Jeonghan would have two different angles on him, Vernon simply nodded “Jeonghan’s condition is less than ideal so we need all of their reactions. Don’t miss anything, every blink is important”
Seungkwan called your name, his fingers gripping the sleeve of your shirt around your wrist. The concern was evident in his eyes. He wanted to ask, but wasn't sure if he should and you weren’t sure you could speak without breaking into tears. Whether his concern was for you or Jeonghan, you didn’t know. Perhaps a mix of both. 
“It’s our job, we should act accordingly”
Tumblr media
Jeonghan finally let his body fall on the bed. It had been a long day and he had never felt more exhausted before in his life. But more than that, he was in pain. 
His first program had drained him. 
Every time he moved his foot it was as if a needle was being forced into his bones. Truth be told, Jeonghan wasn't even sure how he was still standing, how he still managed to walk straight without curving his body in pain. Skating was still a wonder in itself. The idea that both his mother and sister were watching from home maybe was something that helped push him forward. Maybe knowing that you were somewhere in the crowd also helped. 
He didn't dare to look for you, didn't dare to look in your direction but he could swear that he had heard you cheer every time he landed, every time he executed a new movement. Having you there and hearing your voice, even if it was a daydream of his crazy mind, had been enough to push him to the end of the program. 
He pulled his phone out of his pocket and reread your text for the hundredth time. He just stared at his phone for the better part of the day, like the small device held all the answers in the world. All it did though, was call you and that was something that he didn't allow himself to do. It was what he wanted the most, to hear your assuring voice, but he shouldn't. He couldn't. He was satisfied just looking at the black screen when suddenly it lit up with a notification and your name attached to it. 
"I will always be rooting for you! No matter what happens you'll always be number one" a second later another text followed "I love you"
Your message was sweet and loving. Jeonghan knew what it meant though. You didn't say anything, but it was clear that you knew something was wrong. Joshua had assured him that he didn't say anything to you but you weren't dumb.
He felt bad for keeping it a secret from you, for pushing you away, but in his mind, it was his only option. It turned out for the best that his coach and the federation didn't allow you and your team to follow him. Watching from the bleachers was all you could do. 
Even if their decision somehow benefited him, Jeonghan hated it. He hated the idea of everything that was going wrong. He hated that he was in pain, and once again, hated that the one person he wanted to comfort him was the one he was pushing away. In a way, he felt as if he was drowning and there was no one to even see that there was something off with him. 
Jeonghan heard the door opening but he didn't turn around in bed to see who it was, certain that it was only Joshua or maybe Bumzu coming in to check on him. He just turned further into his pillow, wishing for the day to be over soon. He couldn’t even think about his performance, which hadn’t been bad, to be honest. 
“So you get injured again and you decide that I shouldn’t know. That’s not very nice, Jeonghan”
He felt his heart in his mouth and he jumped on the bed, suddenly sitting on the middle of the mattress, grimacing when he felt a sharp pain up his leg.
“I wonder who you wanted to keep it a secret from, the team in charge of the documentary or me”
There you were, leaning on the door with your arms crossed over your chest, frowning at him. He could cry while looking at you and perhaps the tears were inevitable because his eyes were already burning.
“How are you here?” he managed to ask.
You gave him a sheepish smile and showed him the badge on your neck. A picture of Joshua greeted him while you took a step close to him and Sar by his side on the bed.
“I stole Joshua's badge and wore it flipped around, no one really bothered to check if it was really me”
You took Jeonghan's right hand into yours, intertwining your fingers with his. It was almost a natural movement at this point and you weren’t surprised when he leaned forward and rested his forehead on your shoulder.
Throughout the entire day you had thought about what you would do, how you'd approach him. There was no right way to do it. You had two options: scream at him and tell him to just stop, that it wasn't worth it, or you could just be there for him, offer him your support in any way you could. And while the idea of screaming was great, you knew that it wasn't going to do any good. In fact, it would probably only worsen the situation that was already bad.
“I don't know what to do,” he said, slightly turning his head towards your neck and taking a deep breath, allowing himself to be completely lost in your scent.
“How bad is it?” 
If Jeonghan wasn't willing to share it with you, decided that keeping it a secret was his only option it was probably bad but as moved away from you and pulled his pants up you enough to show the purple bruise on his ankle you realized that it was far worse than you could have imagined.
“Oh my God” you covered your mouth to stop yourself from saying anything else. 
You thought back at his program, how he executed all of it flawlessly, how he was in second place — only 0.2 behind the first place — how he had a real chance at winning despite all odds.
“It looks worse than it feels, but it doesn't feel good either”
You pushed his hair back, away from his face. His eyes were filled with unwashed tears, so desperate. Seeing him like that was like having someone squeeze your heart with all of their strength, as if trying to turn it into ashes.
“I'm so close to it and I can see it, it's right there. If I just…” he balled his hands into fists as tears finally ran down his face “I just need to do well, do what I've been practicing and I know I'll get it. But this…”
He punched his thigh, eyes closed.
You took his face into your hands, delicately making him look at you. You had no idea that your heart could break just by looking at someone, had no idea that you would feel that way for someone else in your life. It was a crazy thought, a realization that there was someone else in the world that could make you feel like that. 
When you told Jeonghan that you loved him it wasn't a lie. You didn't just threw those words around. Your heart was his and it was shattering for him.
You knew what it meant to him, all of it. Jeonghan might have made it seem as if he was just there to win and call it a day but you knew that it ran deeper than that. It was his last everything when it came down to it. His last competition, yes, but it was also his last everything. The last time he could say figure skater Yoon Jeonghan, after that he would just be retired. He hated the media a little too much to try and be one of those sports celebrities. 
“If they tape you up, give you enough painkillers, do you think you could do it?” your words were shaky as you spoke “Do you think it's possible?”
Jeonghan couldn't really believe his ears, in what you were saying to him. He was certain that you would tell him to stop, that it was okay, that he didn't have to go all the way to the end. It was a good run, you don't have to prove yourself to anyone, he could almost hear your voice in his mind. 
But right there, in front of him, you stood doing the exact opposite of what he expected.
“I thought you'd tell me to stop”
You kissed his face, close to his eyes, where his tears had stained his cheeks. The first one was quick, the second lingering a little bit more.
“I probably should, but it's not what you need” you kissed his forehead, nose, and lips “You're a force to be reckoned with, Jeonghan. If there's someone in the world that can compete in these conditions it's you”
Tumblr media
Your heart was oddly at peace with everything. Sneaking into Jeonghan's room had been reckless but necessary, for both of you.
It was scary to imagine him getting injured again. You knew how hard he worked to be able to even get on the ice at all. You knew what it meant to him, so telling him that it was okay to just try felt natural and in some ways the only right option. 
Leaving his room had been hard. All you wanted to do was stay there with him, comforting him, in silence. You just wanted to be by his side but you knew that wasn't possible so you left after kissing him.
Maybe telling him to push through was a bad call, maybe telling him to quit was what was best for him but you tried to put yourself in his shoes. Had it been you, with your last chance ever, would you stop or would just just say fuck it and go down trying?
The answer was easy: you'd do the exact same.
“So…” Seungkwan asked as the four of you walked into the gymnasium “Is he okay?”
Seungkwan was a good friend and someone who worried about Jeonghan. He had been the first one to warm up to him and talk with him. Jeonghan liked him too, calling him Seungkwannie and even inviting him for dinner on occasion. 
“Not really,” you said as you finally found your seats “But he's going to compete anyway”
“Can he even do that?” Jihoon asked, “Should he do that?”
Your shoulders rose as you sighed.
“He's doing what he thinks is the best option for him”
The conversation ended just like that. There was nothing left to say. All any of you could do was sit and wait.
Tumblr media
Jeonghan skated into the rink. His face was serious, no emotion on display. It was a mask of a man who was focused on what he had to do. He eyes the center of the rink, unblinking. 
His costume of choice was very simple, just a plain black blouse with silver and blue details on the sleeves and around his neck. His hair was tied back and away from his face. 
Looking at him one wouldn’t be able to say that he was in pain, that his ankle was twice its normal size, so close to just giving up. No one could tell that he was shaking. It was imperceptible to those on the bleachers that his heart was beating so fast, so loudly, that he could feel it in his ears. 
He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. Once. Twice. Again. He thought of you, with your hands clasped together in a silent prayer, he thought of his mother and sister watching him from home. He thought about himself two and a half years before, how hard he had worked to get to that rink one last time. He thought back to his ten years old self, when he first dreamt of the Olympics.
Winning was his only option. 
Jeonghan opened his eyes as a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. 
Tumblr media
The entire gymnasium erupted in loud cheers while Jeonghan thanked the audience, one side, then another. He bows his head a few times, catching one of the bunny dolls thrown at the rink in mid air. His smile is beautiful and large. He became pure happiness and you know that it couldn’t be any different.
Jeonghan managed to deliver his performance in complete perfection, no obvious mistakes were made. You were certain the judges would find something to deduce points but there was no way that he wouldn’t place first.
He waved at the crowd and somehow the cheering got even louder. It’s not his home country but it felt as if everyone in there was applauding him more than all of the athletes before him. And maybe that was really the case.
Jeonghan’s injury had been disclosed to the public right before the beginning of the competition and people love the idea of someone who can overcome whatever it is that stops them, an injury, a disease.
Jeonghan whirled around one more time, hand in the air waving, when face his contorted, his beautiful smile gone and he fell to his knees.
One second.
Two seconds.
Five seconds.
He didn’t move an inch, he didn’t get put but he also didn’t do much else. It was when you started to worry that there was something wrong. Even from that far back, you saw his arms shake, his eyes shut close, and his hand balled into fists. It became painfully obvious that there was something wrong.
The cheering and applause didn’t stop or got quieter. If anything, the volume only got louder. The crowd seemed to think that he was still thanking them, that he was overwhelmed with emotions, that he was exhausted after such a perfect performance.
He did the unthinkable, he managed to finish his performance flawlessly, lading jump, after jump, after jump. And he did, on the last performance of his career, at his last Olympics.
Jeonghan hadn’t announced it yet, but that was his last everything. After that day, he would leave behind his days in figure skating and would try to search for something else to do with his life. It was the last of him, ever, and he ended it on such a high note.
After more than a year of following him, talking to him, and understanding who Jeonghan was and what his stage persona was, you knew that it was not the emotions he was feeling. Although the man could be very humble at times, he wasn’t to that extent. He wouldn’t be on his knees for a full minute.
That’s when you saw coach run to the ice, two paramedics right behind him.
You rush down the bleachers, trying to see what’s happening on the ice while trying not to fall face first. The coach talked with Jeonghan, and whatever the older man said got a reply and Jeonghan shook his head. You didn’t know what he’s saying.
I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong. I’m not in pain. I’m just tired.
Those are the words you wished he said, on just a collection of them
Vernon took the camera and did a run down of the crowd before turning it to Jeonghan, still on his knees. You didn’t know what to do. The two of them were right behind you, Vernon and Seungkwan, their footsteps way too loud for you to notice that the crowd had finally stopped cheering, finally noticing that the situation wasn’t as good as they first expected it to be.
Your eyes never really left Jeonghan. The only thought going through your mind at that moment was to get to him as fast as possible, to hold his hand. That simple action wouldn’t mean much, you knew that, and you would do it more for yourself than for him. But you liked to think that in such a moment, he would want you by his side.
The paramedics raised Jeonghan, his arms around their shoulders while they carried him out of the ring. One of his feet slides with ease, while he holds the other one up in a weird position, slightly tilted back.
That’s when you knew. The issue on his ankle. He took it too far with the performance and practices, landing on it time and time again.
You stopped in your tracks and turned around. You pressed your hand on the lens of Vernon’s camera pushing it until he finally lowered it.
“Stop filming, right now” it wasn’t a request, your voice wasn’t kind. It was an order, one you needed him to follow “From now on, nothing gets filmed”
Vernon looked confused, his eyes darting to Seungkwan, as if asking for help in a way.
“But it’s our job,” he said.
You shook your head.
“Our job, what we needed to film, ended the second he landed that jump. Now it’s not the time to record him”
Seungkwan understands what you’re saying, he too pressed a hand on Vernon’s camera, pushing it even further down, shaking his head and his friends looked at him worried.
You turned away from them, eyes immediately falling on Jeonghan.
For a moment you thought that they wouldn't let you through. Security had no idea of who you were. So why would they let a strange woman be anywhere near the athlete? But they did let you through. You didn’t know how, you didn't know why, but you also didn’t dare to question.
They just moved out of the way, making a path for you. You followed the coach back to the locker rooms, ignoring the fact that you shouldn’t be there, not in the male one anyway.
You finally reached Jeonghan. His face was pale, paler than usual, his lips were turning purple.
“Jeonghan” his name leaves your lips in a breath.
He reached a hand for you once the paramedics laid him down on a stretcher.
“Baby,” he said, voice barely above a whisper “I did it. Did you see it?”
You pushed his hair away from his forehead, surprised with his cold sweat.
“You did it, you were fantastic”
He smiled at you, his eyes not really focusing on you or on anything else.
“I think I broke something,” he said, voice low “I don’t know, it just hurts. A lot”
You looked at his coach, the man didn’t know either, but his eyes were focused on Jeonghan's ankle. Your eyes move to the paramedic, who as carefully as possible trying to remove his skates.
The doctor that accompanied Jeonghan since the surgery finally approached him. The man too looked as white as a candle.
Jeonghan had finally taken it too far. 
Tumblr media
“You cut your hair, '' you said, as you tucked your legs under your thighs, sitting comfortably on the fluff carpet in Jeonghan’s living room. 
Seungkwan stood behind you and by his side was Vernon. It was the place where it all started, so it seemed fitting that it also ended there. 
Jeonghan nodded, running his hand through the loose strands. You drummed your fingers over your thighs, thinking about how just a couple of hours before you were playing with his hair while he had his head on your belly because your stomach is being noisy and I want to sleep when you told him he could move, he just hugged your waist tighter rubbing his face on your skin nope.
“I thought it would be a good change” he pouted a little, unconsciously “I still need to get used to it.”
Why did you think it would be a good change?”
He narrowed his eyes for a second. He had that conversation with you before. For a moment he forgot that the version of you he talked with was his girlfriend, not the documentarist sitting in front of him. 
“I started to grow my hair after the whole incident with the press” he made a dismissive gesture with his hand “I think I sort of wanted to hide from them and the hair helped a lot. In a way, I think a new haircut symbolizes a new start? You know, now that I’m no longer an athlete”
You nodded, smiling at him. It always took his breath away, your smile. He loved the way you had been constantly smiling around him, the frown that seemed to have a permanent stay between your eyebrows when you first met was nowhere in sight.
“How does it feel, being retired?”
“If you asked me that four years ago, I’d say that it sounded like my words nightmare. But now after so many injuries and surgeries, it felt like the timing was right. If you think about it, the way it ended for me was pretty epic”
Jeonghan matched your smile as the memories started to flood his mind. The way he almost blacked out due to the pain in his ankle, the way the crowd screamed so loudly and he refused to believe that it was because of him, at least not until Bumzu came back to his side, his eyes red with unshed tears.
“You fucking idiot of a human, you did it”
You had kissed his temple multiple times, telling him how brave he was, how strong he was. "Most people would have walked away before even getting on the rink” you had said later that night after all of you had finally gotten back from the hospital. Jeonghan was prohibited from using his foot and needed to have surgery once again after the worst part of the swelling subsided. 
He remembers refusing to be taken away to get his ankle checked until he saw with his own eyes that he had won. He was carried out by Bumzu and Joshua despite the doctor’s cries that he should be taken to the hospital. You followed the three of them close behind. 
Jeonghan smiled at the screen hanging from the roof. His name stood at the top of the list, in big letters, the number one attached to it. 
As he stood on the podium, gold medal around his neck, Jeonghan saw you clamming and screaming, a huge smile on your face as tears ran down your cheeks. He had finally gotten his wish, to see you being as eloquent as possible, cheering for him. 
“Most people would agree with you”
“I feel bad about making my family worry though. But they understand, I think”
His sister has screamed at him over the phone, angry that he asked them not to go watch him — mostly because he was scared to have them there while he failed — that he never told them about his injuries. But also happy for him. Truthfully he didn’t understand some of what she said, talking while crying was not her forte. 
You looked back at Seungkwan over your shoulder and both of you nodded. Jeonghan watched as you closed the small notebook in your hands and put it aside. 
“This is the last question of this documentary, so make your answer a good one, okay?” you said teasingly “Now that you can’t skate again, what are your plans for the future?”
Saying that Jeonghan wouldn’t be able to skate again was maybe a little exaggeration. Sure, there was no way he’d ever be able to compete again — nor did he wanted to —, but maybe after he was all healed he could do it again just for fun. That wasn’t something he was going to say directly at you. You had gotten worried after his new injury that even conversations about past competitions made you shiver, it had gotten so bad that you had nightmares about him getting hurt again and in those his end was never quite as good or epic as the one he actually got. So Jeonghan thought that it was for the best to not talk about it, at least for the time being while he still hadn’t been cleared by his doctor.
“With my career?” he bit his lip, truly thinking about it “For now, nothing. I’ve been competing for almost twenty years, in the rink for about 22 years, I think I deserve to stop and just not do anything for a while. In my personal life, I want to spend some time with my family, which is something that I always skipped because practice was just more important. I haven’t spent a birthday with them in years”
He tilted his head to the side, his eyes on you. 
“I have a girlfriend, right. And she had this little notebook, I think she might be a little obsessed with notebooks and pens, and everything stationary related” he whispered the last part making you roll your eyes “She writes in those places she wants to go to. So, if I can convince her to take a few vacation days, I want to take her to those places”
“You suck,” you said.
“You didn’t seem to…”
Seungkwan took a step forward and blocked the view of the camera, his eyes wide.
“Okay, that’s a wrap everyone! Thank you!”
Tumblr media
taglist: @wonwooz1, @sobun1est, @mirtaspace, @feat-sun, @belladaises, @immabecreepin, @aaniag, @k-drama-adict, @maiamorrrrrrrrrrrr, @tomodachiii, @sofix-hc7, @moonlightgrleric, @mixling-blog, @haowonbins, @valgracia, @slut4donghyuck, @shuabby1994, @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan, @plumings, @shuasdrafts, @aaasia111, @dreamsbloomout, @maewhore, @sea-moon-star, @roguesthetic, @writingbarnes, @strawberryroseee, @lovely-ficsfor-me, @jjeongddol, @whoa-jo
if you enjoyed reading, please reblog and leave a comment, it really does mean the world to me and i would love to know your thoughts. thank you! 💕
if you want to be tagged in my next fics, please fill out this form
454 notes · View notes
puff0o0 · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
Kyle Gaz Garrick who hides the constant nightmares he has from you.
Ever since the helicopter incident, things have been different for him.
He isn't sure if he's really 'traumatized' as the feelings come and go.
Some days he feels like open spaces are closed in on him and suffocating him
some days he feels like running quickly up the stairs as he feels like he could fall through them any moment
some nights he wakes up with the same memory from where he was upside down and shooting terrorists
Sure, he boasts about it. Who wouldn't? Managing to live to tell the tale and knocking bad guys out all the same time while he was under stress and pressure?
And yet if doesn't stop the adrenaline he felt rushing through him, how he had to push himself aside for a moment and focus on the mission at hand and worry about the situation later
Now he sat on the couch, not wanting to wake you up with something so little, something he could handle
He's a grown man afterall
He had made sure to leave the room as quickly and as quietly as possible and yet you still managed to wake up, feeling the lack of his warmth and just him in general
Tiptoeing your way into the living room before frowning at the sight of your boyfriend with his head in his hands, hunched over in the dark.
You couldn't see a thing yet the pit in your stomach grew and grew with each moment
"Kyle?"
He looked up quickly when he heard your voice. You turned the lights onto see his face, making your frown tug a little lower when you saw how tired he looked
"Shit, sorry. didn't mean to wake you up, love"
You sighed and sat next to him, letting him lay on your chest.
His arms wrapped around your torso as he started to relax when your hand rubbed circles on his back, a comforting silence filled the air as you two enjoyed eachother's company
You didn't expect him to open up to you yet nor did you force him. You just wanted to be there for him in his darkest moments like he always was for you
He buried his face into your shoulder, soon falling asleep there before you started to feel yourself drift off as well
He was unsure of a lot of things, but he was sure of one thing:
You were his light
Tumblr media
405 notes · View notes
honey-milk-depresso · 3 months
Note
hello love, i adore your work.
could i get something with the batboys with a spider woman reader?
💜💜
I’m making them spiderperson cuz gotta stay GN for everyone to self insert themselves 🩷
BUT YEAHHDHWIAHFOAJDKSJX MORE BATFAM REQUESTS >:)))
Requests open until 1 Feb (GMT 8+)! Please read the rules on my pinned post (provided the navi post link to go to rules). Thank you!🩷🩷
***S/o is above 18, which means characters below are also aged up!
Batbros with a Spider-S/o
Dick Grayson
He loves you! You manoeuvre in the air and swing about just like him! Just that you got webs, cool!
Definitely joins you in hanging upside down, also loving to compete with you (lovingly) to see who can jump the farthest, or who can do the most bomb-tastic somersault with you and you guys have so much fun during patrol it’s not even patrol anymore.
Beating bad guys in the most dramatic, acrobatic way possible is definitely something Bruce and the rest of the brothers all sigh collectively because you two can be pretty chaotic.
But whatever, you two have so much fun jumping around.
Has taken you out on dates as Nightwing and your spider-sona, because even people around the city thinks you two are a match made in heaven. I imagined a pizza guy giving them a box and saying for them to have fun while swinging around with Dick and having pizza in between your teeth while you race to see who can reach the far end of a street whilst swinging and stunting about.
Overall, you two make a loveable couple of acrobats. <3
Jason Todd
He thought you were annoying at first, but even he can’t deny you make his day (most of the time).
He feels a bit irritated yet amused whenever you hang upside down and playfully greet him or joke with him while on patrol, sometimes in secret which scares the shit out of him when you pop out of no where and he starts cussing before letting out a long, exasperated sigh when he looks at you laughing to yourself. Damn spider…
But even so, he can’t help but dote on you, even if you can be an annoying ball of energy sometimes. He just can’t help but let you jump around him with your spiderwebs all over the house when you try to take something from afar, using the webs to pull it towards you. Although… you are a bit bashful and guilty for keeping his tidy room messy with webs everywhere that you help clean up which he appreciates.
On patrols, you’re usually faster than him and sometimes he complains so you just shut him up by scooping him in his arms and holding him by the waist with one hand before web-slinging your way to the location where the criminal gang is as he huffed. From afar at times, it looks like a grown ass man being baby carried or held like a big dog by some spider person across the high buildings, which he gets a little flustered over.
Regardless, Jason still loves you. Just don’t shoot the webs everywhere- <3
Tim Drake
He’s fascinated by you, how your webs work and how you can stick on walls with just your fingertips.
Tim might ask a lot of questions about your anatomy and what your spider body can do which sometimes annoy you but he’s just so curious he can’t help it. Genuinely.
Another one who you scare the shit out of with you surprising him by hanging upside down and popping your head down to face his out of no where, but he’s not like Jason who reacts very… dramatically, he’ll just recover from shock to contort into a pout and maybe gently flick your forehead to tell you to knock it off, although he knows you won’t.
Might be a sap for that upside down kiss where you kiss him upside down and all because of course he would be-
Tim loves asking you to use your web fluid for practically everything now. “Hey, s/o? Could you use your web fluid to stick this circuit board in here?” “S/o could you grab the remote with your web? Pleaseeeee?” “S/o, I kinda need your web fluid to close up the hole in my pants-” sometimes you gotta tell him that’s not gonna work sometimes, and those pants will look weird if you do that-
Overall, Tim loves his whacky, loveable spider s/o. <3
Damian Wayne
Also like Jason, he found you annoying. But this guy is hard in denial before he admits he even likes you.
Damian, at first, keep scowling at how annoying you can be with your web-slinging for fun and not for patrol, and getting web strings all over his suit after patrol from an intense fight against the criminal gang you two were assigned to take down. Now, he still scowls but with a blush and his heart skipping a beat because he can’t deny how cute you are even if you’re an annoying lil shi- (or maybe you ain’t little but you get the point).
Damian will tolerate you swinging about, although he isn’t scared when you hang upside down to spook him a bit because you literally can’t, his god-like sense of instincts would immediately pick up on you without even needing to turn to face you. Sometimes you joke with him that he has spidey-senses to which he rolls his eyes casually.
He won’t say it out loud, but he thinks you’re a pretty impressive fighter and you kinda remind him of Dick but you’re still unique. He just make sure your web fluids don’t go all over the place that you make a mess of the evidence for the police.
Overall, a tsundere for his spider s/o. <3
Reblogs help! ^^
592 notes · View notes
rynfiles · 6 months
Text
dad next door !
✎ᝰ — your brand-new apartment has brought you peace, calm, and freedom. but no one mentioned of a father of a two
★ — satoru gojo x gn!reader
★ — word count: 1.6k
★ — genre + warnings: fluff + dad!gojo, gojo is in his early twenties (21-23), gojo is a nervous mess, megumi and his smart antics, tsumiki is y/n’s number one fan
Tumblr media
The space is small, yet livable. Your new apartment brings you this sense of freedom and independence from your loving, yet overbearing, parents. As much as you love them dearly, the thought of continuing to live under their roof was going to drive you mad. Which led to your brand new apartment, not the best but you made do with your stay.
As you continue to unpack your things, you hear noises coming from the other side of your living room wall. You ignored them by putting on your headphones and playing music as time passed.
Yet some hours passed, only three, and the noise continued. You moved closer to the wall to decipher what was creating such a loud noise. The only thing you could make out was a loud TV, yelling from multiple people you assume, and children. Your heart grew soft and sympathy grew in your heart for the assumed noise of children, since you know how children can be, especially at young ages when their emotions run rampant.
Though, as much as children softened your heart, the noise was becoming unbearable and you wanted your first day in your apartment to be perfect. You planned to be nice, introduce yourself, and ask your neighbor to possibly lower the noise coming from their apartment.
You paused your music and took off your headphones. You grabbed your phone and headed out the door, only making a few steps to your left until you reached the next apartment door.
You knocked gently, as you waited you heard the noise more clearly. You realized it was an adult and a child going back and forth while the TV was playing a children’s show. You heard some of the argument and giggled to yourself at some of the insults that were sent.
You continued to wait yet the door hadn’t opened nor had there been any indication that someone was going to open. You knocked again, a bit louder this time, and someone, you assumed was the adult, yelled that they were coming. Not long after, the door was opened and you were met with a man who had a staggering height, but that didn’t bother you.
The man had hair as white as the winter snow, which was decorated with those ball scrunchies and small heart clips that should be found on a small girl, not a grown (potentially over twenty) man. He wore a fitted tank top that had a dad joke on it and black shorts to accompany the outfit. His face in particular was graced with lashes that were thick and lay beautifully above his blue eyes. Also, his youthful face is currently covered in stickers galore, many of dinosaurs and flowers.
He greeted you with a smile, it brought youth to his face and gave sincerity, and apologies for taking so long to answer.
You reassured him that he was okay and also introduced yourself. You explained to him how you were his neighbor but also reported to him the noise from his apartment was bothering you. You tried not to come off as rude, since it is your first day.
He apologizes almost too quickly, mild stutters as he speaks, “Sorry sorry, my two- I mean these two kids have been hauling my ass since seven am.”
“I assumed it was younger children that were in there. Though, could you do me a favor and turn down the TV as well? The whole apartment doesn’t need to hear what you guys are watching.”
The man turns in the direction of the TV and lightly smacks his forehead, “Ah, that must’ve been Tsumiki with her runway model shows. I don’t know why but she always excuses that she has terrible hearing and always has the TV-”
“What about Tsumiki?” A young boy with spiked hair appears behind the man. The boy wears an expression that debates whether to tussle with the tall man or mind his business. With his presence now here, he chose the first option. Yet the stickers and hair clips placed on his hair and face don’t make him serious enough to take.
“Kid-”
The boy scrunched his face, showing a sign of annoyance to the man in front of him. “My name is Megumi, Meh-gu-mi. Don’t try to be all “mister cool” cause you think our new neighbor is hot.”
The man’s jaw dropped and all you could giggle at the compliment that was given. You spot his cheeks beaming with a light shade of red but disregard it as the man clears his throat. “Megumi, do me a favor and stay out of adult spaces.”
The boy sucked his teeth, “You were literally a child not many years ago, in dog years if you count.” The boy mumbled the last part but it was loud enough for the older man to hear.
The two males continue to go back and forth until a small girl approaches next to the small boy. From the height alone she could be the eldest of the two children, and her face was also decorated with stickers. It was cute to see the tall male and the two children behind him covered in all kinds of stickers on their face and their hair styled in hair clips.
The girl comes over to see what all the commotion is. But instead, she turns to you and immediately starts complimenting you, she smiles with such fondness to your beauty. She starts to compliment your hair, even if it is simple for the busy day, your outfit, and how you look so perfect. She believes so deeply that you came out of a magazine and all you could do was thank her and smile back. The girl just seemed all admired about you, even if she only met you about two minutes ago.
She turns to the older male to ask, “Can they join us for dinner papa Gojo?”
The boy scoffs at the question, “Don’t give him any ideas, he might scare the new neighbor away.” The blushing from earlier returns and the older man, named Gojo (?), seems to be slightly offended at the boy's remark.
The girl ignores the boy and pleads with Gojo, you continue to watch the two children and the man banter with one another. The interaction seemed to look serious from an outsider’s perspective, but up close, it was adorable watching them interact. Even if the boy seemed very annoyed with the entire situation, the girl poked his cheeks and played with his hair to uplift his mood, while the man told the two children to turn down the TV and check on the food cooking.
Gojo brings his attention back to you and smiles nervously, he laughs nervously as well. He brings his hand to comb through the back of his hair, “Sorry about them, they’re not usually this noisy on a Friday afternoon. Especially Megumi, he’s usually playing with his figures with Tsumiki, never this intrusive.”
“Don’t worry, I have younger siblings and we bicker quite a lot, so I get it. But I will admit that you guys are an adorable little family.”
The man blushes quickly but tries to hide it quickly, “Ah, thank you.” He grows nervous and lets the air become this sense of nervousness. He will admit, he wouldn’t have thought to have a neighbor as stunning as you and comfortable around his children. Then again, his two children take too much of his time to even pay attention to the people in his environment.
He clears his throat, “Umm, you don’t have to join but Tsumiki, the little girl, is gonna keep asking about dinner and I’m already in trouble with her. If you don’t mind, you don’t have to, but you can join us for dinner if you’re not too busy.” The blushing on his cheeks stayed yet you notice his ears turning into a light hue of pink as well, nervousness is ruining this man.
You think for a little while, letting the man watch you think and his face shows more and more signs of nervousness. You answer with a nod and a small smile, “I don’t mind at all. It would be nice to learn some faces in this town.”
Gojo seems more than happy to hear your acceptance, “We’d love to welcome you, Tsumiki loves making new friends and Megumi could get a friend or two. Geez this kid.”
You gave a small laugh and thanked him, you turned to make your exit until Gojo stopped you. “Oh umm, by-by the way, I didn’t get to properly introduce myself. I’m Gojo, umm Satoru Gojo. I’m right next door, literally, if you need anything.”
“Oh thanks, it was nice talking to you Satoru, and your two kids I assume, Megumi and Tsumiki?” The way you said his first name had Gojo going from a blushing mess to a flustered, stuttering mess. He feels heat rising in his cheeks and ears, embarrassment adds in as thinks that he shouldn’t be this nervous around his new neighbor.
“Yeah, that’s their name.” He pauses and lets his nervousness settle between the two of you, “Umm, well it was great to meet you y/n, and uhh gotta get back to finishing dinner, two hungry children aren’t the prettiest sight to see.”
“I would love to be the judge of that tonight,” you turn to walk away from his doorway and wave him goodbye, “have a good day Satoru, see you tonight.”
Gojo waves back and closes the door once you step into your apartment. He roughly combs through his hair and sighs heavily, “I don’t know who’s gonna end me first, these damn kids or dinner with y/n.”
Tumblr media
★ I got this fanfic idea from this fanart actually ! I thought gojo and the kids were so cute with their stickers and clips on their face and hair 🫶🏽
Tumblr media
© 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟥 𝗋𝗒𝗇𝖿𝗂𝗅𝖾𝗌. 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾𝖽
712 notes · View notes
dustofthedailylife · 11 months
Note
texting Dan Heng "baobei, come over" when we need help with something,,,,, and him getting all flustered and shy sksksks
(baobei = treasure in chinese)
A/N: pls, the man would short-circuit- This also got longer than I expected... oopsies. Well, I hope you enjoy <3
Tumblr media
"My Treasure"
ft. Dan Heng x (gn!)Reader || [Fluff] -> Masterlist || → Taglist
Tumblr media
"Baobei, can you come over for a sec? I need your help with something."
What would be an entirely normal direct message on his phone in the eyes of anyone else, was exactly the opposite to him.
Why did you call him a term of endearment in his native language out of the blue? Who even taught it to you? And did you even know what it means?
He could feel his face heat up uncontrollably and he immediately locked his phone again, looking around in panic to see if anyone was looking at him right now. He wished to avoid anyone seeing his reddened cheeks at any cost.
Mr. Yang was currently reading through some magazines and Himeko was currently somewhere else on the train, as was March. Lucky.
He quickly got up and headed for your room, halting in front of your door and trying to recollect himself before daring to knock on it.
He was leading possible conversations with you inside of his head to be prepared for as many possible outcomes as he could think of, which in turn made him more and more nervous.
Were you going to ask him out? Did you return his feelings? Are you planning to confess? Did you just mean to tease him and he was overthinking it?
He was most likely overthinking it. Sure, he had a crush on you but there was no way you would be able to know. He made sure you wouldn't find out under any circumstance. He believed March had her suspicions about it since she kept hinting at things, but he made sure to seem as indifferent about you as he possibly could every time.
Little did neither he nor you know that March knew everything and was trying to play the wing-woman for you two; The two idiots being obviously in love but at the same time too dumb to confess to each other.
By now his palms were sweaty and his heart was racing at light speed in his chest and he hadn't even knocked on the door yet. At the same time, he had no idea for how long he had been standing there, just staring at your door, but if someone would spot him hesitating like that, while also being beet red in the face, they could put two and two together.
In hindsight, it probably would've been smarter to just knock instantly without overthinking and getting this over with. Especially since his cheeks had grown even redder while he had done so.
As soon as he heard the door to the wagon he was in being opened he snapped out of his trance and finally knocked. Mostly just because he feared it would be Himeko or March. He wouldn't hear the end of their teasing if they spotted him in front of your room this flustered. Upon hearing your voice call him in he slipped right in as fast as he could without seeming suspicious.
"Hi! There you are finally!" You cheered, running over to him with a tablet in hand.
You were trying to show him something and ask him some questions, but he was too distracted to listen properly. What didn't help was that he felt like he was burning up from the inside with all the blood that was rushing to his cheeks. Admittedly, standing next to you after you called him baobei in your DM earlier, he even started to feel a little lightheaded.
"Hey, Dan Heng?" You looked at him visibly concerned with furrowed brows. "Are you not feeling well? Your face is all red and you look a bit out of it?"
"W-wha? Hmm? No, I'm alri-"
He was, in fact, not alright in the slightest. Especially not when he was cut off when you brushed his hair out of his forehead to feel his temperature. The skin-on-skin contact made everything even worse. For someone who was so put together usually, he currently was everything but.
"Good lord. You're burning up! Come here, lie down on my bed for a second."
He could absolutely not do that. He needed to leave. Fast.
"No, I'll just go lie down in my room instead. Just message me if you need anything from the archives."
"Okay," you nodded happily. "See ya later, baobei."
He winced at the mention of the word directly in person. You too didn't miss it and furrowed your brows in concern once more.
"Uh, did I say something wrong?" You asked, seemingly catching onto the fact that the word you kept saying to him could possibly be the reason for his strange behavior.
"D-do you know what that word means?"
"What? Baobei?"
He winced again before nodding and averting his gaze.
"Well... March said it means something along the lines of 'Bestie', I heard it when we were on the Luofu and thought it sounded cute."
So she was responsible for this. March, you would have some explaining to do.
Tumblr media
Do not repost, copy, translate or edit - © dustofthedailylife || reblogs, comments, and asks about Genshin/HSR or my fics are always appreciated!
881 notes · View notes
thebadboyfanclub · 6 months
Text
What Would I Do Without You? (Lewis x Reader)
Tumblr media
Hey y’all so I’m slowly getting my groove back and I am very thankful that you guys have been so wonderful and patient with me, this was requested by @jenthustiastic and i must say I switched a few stuff but I hope you can forgive me and still enjoy it.
Tumblr media
To be the partner of Lewis Hamilton meant to have a spotlight on you 24/7, eyes like hawks watching and judging every move, however (y/n) had this peculiar ability that made it look like a walk in the park.
From the minute Lewis posted her on Instagram and made it official meant that he had sent the dogs that were ready to tear her down, (y/n) took everything with grace and remained authentic to herself, Lewis was nervous about causing (y/n) pain, he knew that some people were ruthless, he feared that it would get too much for her, she was relatively in the spotlight, being a stylist and all yet this meant she was dipping her toes to another ball game.
(Y/n) never complained nor seemed to be phased by the comments or paparazzi, she was a social butterfly and quickly earned the respect of the fans, especially since she had grown a habit of meeting them and taking their little gifts with them to show Lewis after his race, “the fans princess” is what they called her that had started as a joke and then kind of stuck.
“Where’s the lovely (y/n)?”
Had grown to become a frequent question from the reporters when they got a hold of Lewis, Lewis would always bite his bottom lip and slightly nod before his eyes started to scan the room for the lady.
“I’m here baby!”
“Oh there she is”
(Y/n) did not like to watch the games, it caused her anxiety to see her beloved man sit in a car that went faster than the speed of light, her heart beat like a drum and every sharp turn forced her breath to hitch, she was content with hiding in the crowds and spark conversations with the fans until it was over.
“Don’t you care if I do well?”
“I care if you come back to me in one piece, that is enough for me”
She responded calmly once before she got lost in his arms, their naked chests colliding with one another as her head found its place at the crook of his neck, Lewis giggled as her hair fell on his face, and with his free hand, he caressed the strands away.
(Y/n) was scared, the track had taken men’s lives for the longest and (y/n) who was a massive fan of racing was now linked to her lover which meant that she found the concept similar to torture.
Lewis slowly got used to her routine, after the interviews, they would go to a room, and (y/n) would spend about 30 minutes to an hour just laying with him, well… at least for the majority of the time, (y/n) still blushed at the memory of toto having to knock their door.
“Keep it down! People can hear you!”
He scolded them, Lewis and (y/n) had giggled at the time still when the adrenaline wore off and she had to walk out with smudged makeup and her hair down instead of the tidy ponytail she had walked in with she clung and almost hid behind Lewis until they got to the car.
“We are never doing this again”
“Sure love”
Lewis had responded, knowing well inside that (y/n) was just experiencing the guilt of the moment, Lewis relished that he got to tease parts out of her that she did not know existed.
(Y/n) and Lewis were both fire holders, passion brought them together and the minute one even graced a finger on the other's skin it resembled a match lighting up, the one held the other as close as humanly possible and their eyes would speak the dirty words that they could not publicly even whisper even though Lewis was not one to shy away from leaning against her ear while she giggled after she had a bit too much wine at the dinner table.
“(Y/n)! Hi”
“Can you take this for Lewis?”
“Are you pregnant?”
“Can I have a picture?”
“Are you excited?”
Fans stumbled upon one another as (y/n) started to approach them with a grant smile, the Qatar Grand Prix was one of the most challenging among them, Lewis was nervous which caused (y/n) to be a bit wary, so she was always worked, walked up to the fans to take her mind off the track and hopefully time would pass fast.
This time it was different and as soon as her ears got used to the voices everyone went silent then her heart clenched inside her chest, her eyes snapped to where everyone was looking and she was met with a car that looked familiar spin out.
“No”
(Y/n) whispered, this couldn’t be, her hands mashed into fists and thankfully one of the bodyguards that Lewis had hired to keep an eye on her sensed that this would not go well, she had to be taken out of the public grasp.
The man’s arms softly went up to her biceps before he guided her back to the room so she could wait for her love, though her mind would not let her rest and she feared for the worst.
“Is he ok? Do we know if he is ok?”
“Sir Lewis is fine miss, please let us escort you”
(Y/n) complied and the only thing that could be heard were her footsteps until she got inside the room they had told her to wait on, her heels clicking on the floor as she went up and down the room, even if he was alright to be taken out so quickly was not the outcome anyone would have hopped.
The sound of the doorknob twisting forced her to a halt and then before Lewis could walk inside fully (y/n) had thrown herself in his arms, Lewis even if he was taken aback by it and took a step back responded by wrapping his arms around her waist and closing the door behind him.
“You are safe”
“I hope I didn’t scare you a lot”
“No, no, no, I’m fine, I just- what happened?”
“Russel didn’t let me pass him, he took me out”
“Took you out? How?”
“He-“
Lewis stopped himself from getting riled up, he closed his eyes to take a sharp inhale through the nose and then slowly let it out from his mouth, his grip semi-loosened on her and his one hand went up to take the hair out of her face that were misplaced from the force of her running into him full force.
“It doesn’t matter”
“yes it does, talk to me”
A smile appeared on his lips, he took her by her hand and directed her to the couch, (y/n) had always been a person to show love via physical touch, so when she straddled him Lewis did not think of it even for a second, (y/n) placed her cheek on his shoulder and Lewis thought it would be better if he leaned back so he was propped up with the support of the couch.
“It was the first round, I went to get the lead from the side, and then… I was out because Rusell-“
“I’m going to ask you this… are you sure it was his fault?”
“Yes, he should have let me through”
“What if he couldn’t? First rounds are crowded baby, perhaps he didn’t mean it”
“I am-“
“Unharmed, and you have already proved yourself and how skilled you are, Russel is young and your teammate”
“So that gives him immunity into doing whatever?”
“He drove himself into a wall if you recall, remember how embarrassed and disappointed he was?”
“Yes when only you came to see me on the paddock because everyone was consoling him”
(Y/n) lifted her head to be able to look him straight in the eyes, Lewis was feeling threatened, Russell had potential and he was breathing down Lewis's neck, she could detect the certain sense of failure in his chocolate hues.
Lewis scoffed as he lifted her as gently as possible so he could stand up and away from her, Lewis had years of experience on his back, yet when it came to (y/n) he felt powerless, she hadn’t even tried hard enough and he had revealed everything to her.
(Y/n) only followed him and slightly tugged at his hand so he could turn to face her again, a ghost of a smile appeared on her lips after she raised her hand to caress his cheek, Lewis exhaled as his shoulders relaxed once her warm flesh covered his.
“You can’t hide from me, you know better than that”
“I wanted to do well alright, is that so bad?”
“No, that is healthy, but we both know you can get competitive sometimes, give him some grace, you were in his shoes once”
“You should be on my side”
“You did not ask me to be yours because I was a kiss ass”
“No, smart mouth”
“All that I’m saying is that I care that you are here with me, however, it would not be right if I sat here and caress your pride and let you be wrong, is that what you want?”
“No”
“Good”
(Y/n) placed a sweet kiss on his lips that escalated into a butterfly one, her arms snaked around Lewis’s neck while he slid down from her waist and grabbed onto her tightly.
A playful giggle was heard by her before she pulled away a few inches so she could wipe the grace of lip gloss she had left on his lips with her thumb.
“Naughty boy”
“Always”
“No, we are not doing this it’s too damn hot in here”
“We will blast the air condition in the car after”
“I am not sweating out this makeup Hamilton and you have some making-up to do”
“Now?”
“Well I am assuming he is still racing but yes, we will wait together and you will own your mistakes”
“Must you always go against me?”
“Must you always be so difficult?”
Lewis kissed his teeth at her comeback, (y/n) had become Lewis’s lighthouse at a fast pace, she was a person he would seek every time something would not sit right with him, her hug, her wisdom, her smile of reassurance, her addicting scent as she wrapped herself around him at night.
Something about her soothed him to the core to the point that he could not rest well if she was not laying next to him(y/n) was his second in command and he secretly admired her calm attitude.
Lewis would often think about the times (y/n) would reminisce over her past self, how she was hot-tempered and argumentative, she had confessed that it was a facade she had created like an alter ego to protect her true colors, and there had been a few moments that he had witnessed her eyes glistening with anger, her slick tongue, it was usually when she felt threatened or people crossed someone she loved.
“What would I do without you?”
“Just argue with people for no reason I presume”
“You are being mean”
“Would you rather I lie to you?”
Lewis's smile brightened the room and his face and (y/n) pulled him for a tight embrace, she wondered if there was any way she could get even closer to him like the water of the ocean sank in the sand after a wave, his heartbeat was the most melodic sound for her ears, well, after his voice of course.
(Y/n) had always been a dreamer, from a young age she had filled her heart with hope to find her soulmate, someone to share her light and darkness, that one person that would feel like her fuzzy blanket, friends called her delusional and precious relationships called her suffocating and emotional, Lewis relished it, the small little details that showed how grand her soul and love was.
“There will be other races”
“I know”
“Do you want to speak on this some more”
“Not really”
“Alright, let’s go find George and then we can have a nice bubble bath, perhaps some lavender oil will help”
“Oh I love it when you talk essential oils to me”
Requests are open!
369 notes · View notes
dnvrsmedia · 1 year
Text
The Farmer, The Wrangler, & The Cowboy - TLOU II AU
Part Two - One Step
Tumblr media
18+ series
Summary: You're the new farmer in town with a big heart and an even bigger love for two women. What happens when these two women apparently hate each other? Part 2 follows the events of the Spring Fling.
Part One I Series Masterlist
You were absolutely elated on your way back home from the farm. You lived down the street from the town’s square, where the Spring Fling will take place. You had moved out from your mother’s house a little over a year ago, packing your things and heading to the familiar town of Jackson, Wyoming. Your Grandfather used to live in Jackson, so life up here wasn’t all that unfamiliar. You and your mother would make the 30 minute commute every weekend to visit him and the countryside. Through him you were able to learn all the farming tricks you know,him being the reason why you fell in love with the earth and animals in the first place.
Life back at home was fine, yet you couldn’t help but have a thirst for more. You always knew you wanted to be a farmer, but that wasn’t possible for you to do back home in the city. You felt stuck in your daydreaming for something different, so, you decided to make the short move into the town that you practically grew up in. Now here you are, having a fulfilling and successful farming life. Although, your social life is definitely the part where saidsuccess was running dry. The only people you talk to are Abby, Ellie, and your boss, Joel. A sweet old man that was nice enough to give you work. He said that your grandfather taught him a lot, so he knew you must be just as good as he was. Minus the farm animals, you only ever talk to three people. You couldn’t help this though,you were a very shy kid growing up. Never having as many friends as the other kids , always feeling left out,like an outsider. That was before you found yourself enjoying the connection with animals and crop growing,farming is your peace that you are grateful for.
Having been surrounded in a community that appreciates all the hard work you do, you’ve felt yourself begin to branch out a bit more. That is exactly how you met your best friend, Abigail Anderson. Although you were very attracted and afraid of her simultaneously at first glance, you have grown to love her for her hard exterior and gooey insides. Having her agree to go to the dance was a whole other mission in itself. It took a lot of promises of sleepovers, doing her chores, and lots of making her food for her to agree. And who could blame you? You wanted to see your hot best friend dressed up with a drink or two in her system. Abby got protective and handsy when tipsy and boy did you look forward to tonight.
After a few errands, you anxiously decided to get dressed for tonight. You wanted to look good for your girls, for your friends. With a huff of air, you start the tap in your shower to wash off the grime and muck of the day. The spring sun has left you kisses of a tan on your body. You smile at yourself, loving the way the tan made you look. Your wandering mind made you begin thinking about how the sun brings out the extra freckles on Ellie and Abby. This made your mind wander a bit more… You found yourselfdeep into your psyche, something you did in the depths of the night, alone in your bed. Obscenity carrying your thoughts about both girls, how you wondered just how far down their bodies the speckles of darker skin spread. Fantasies about having the both of them fill your mind as your hand slightly wanders south. A shaky breath escapes your mouth as the gentle feeling of the tip of your fingers trailing down your chest, down your stomach, and stopping just above your core. Just as you were about to dip into your fantasies, you heard a loud knock on the bathroom door;Abby. You forgot that you invited her over to head over to the dance together. You curse your past self for giving her a spare key.
“Darlin, you okay in there? Ya’ know we gotta leave soon, right?” You could basically hear the smirk in Abby’s voice,almost as if she knew what she was interrupting in here. Your eyes shoot wide open at the thought. There's no way that she saw me..right? You shake your head at the stupid thought and finish rinsing your body.
“Mhm! M’ all good Abs!” You answer back in a huff, distracted by your pulsing core. You turn the water cold in hopes of clearing yourself of your dirty thoughts about your best friend next door.
You rush to get ready since you definitely spent way too long in the shower. Abby asked what you were doing in a joking manner. It took everything within you to keep a somewhat decent poker face. You didn’t trust your voice one bit, so you did the next best thing, you flipped her off.
“Watch the attitude, princess!” she shouted from your living room.
You were dressed in your best black chinos and a simple black t-shirt. Your favorite bandana was tied on your head, pulling your hair up and out of your face. You slip on your trusty brown blundstones boots and make your way out to the living room. You almost drool at the current view in front of you. Abby sat there with her legs wide on your galaxy blue couch, Her muscular thigh in her tight chinos chiseled and contoured her legs. Your eyes trailed up to her torso; her strong hands lay on her stomach, fingers slowly massaging her stomach in no specific pattern. Her beautiful blue eyes were trained on the TV in front of her,other hand raked through her loose locks. Fuck, you love her with her hair down. Her cream colored hat sat next to her on the couch. She looked like she was out of a movie scene,the way the setting sunlight glistened and illuminated her body had you struggling to breathe. You suddenly felt anxious about tonight. You weren’t stupid, the women in Jackson had eyes. Unfortunately, you weren’t the only one to notice Abby’s beauty. You wanted her in ways you wouldn’t form in your mind,yet still, you couldn’t make a move. You inhaled once more and made your way to your best friend.
“Sorry I took so long, I got distracted.” You anxiously fiddled with your fingers. Abby looks at you with a hard to read face,you never know what is going on in that brain of hers. She clears her throat after a few beats of taking you in and rises from the couch letting out a low whistle. The blonde walks over to you and fixes the sleeve on your shirt.
“You look perfect, sweetheart.” Her low drawl seeps out her mouth and into your ears. You immediately turn your head away from her eyes, feeling shy in front of her. Abby tsks and gently grabs your chin to look up at her.
“C’mon, none of that. You look beautiful. Now, take the compliment n’ say thank you.” Abby raises her eyebrow. Your breath gets heavy at how close you two are. The 6’2 goddess towering above you as you crane your neck to look into her eyes.
You bite your lip and flush. “M’ sorry, thank you,Abby.”
Abby nods her head in acceptance and leaves a pec on your cheek. She grabs her hat off the couch and leads you towards your front door. She doesn’t even have to ask for you to follow her, she knows that you’ll be there.
The casual dominance that Abby exudes leaves you feeling dizzy. She is a woman who demands respect from anyone and everyone. She didn’t get so far in her field to be thought of as a pushover. Unlike you, Abby always demanded the space she was in. It was the little things that she did that made your heart absolutely flutter;holding the door open for you, walking on the side of the walkway that is closest to the road, having a possessive placement of her hand on the base of your hip, and so much more. It was also the little things that confused you.
Abby was much harder to read than the auburn girl who runs parallel in your mind. You can always tell when Ellie was being flirtatious. Ellie Williams was a ladies girl, her whole entire being is one big ball of flirt. At least with her, you know that she is trying to get you under her. On the other hand, Abby is quite the opposite. Abby is the definition of never kiss and tell,she is too focused on her reputation and goals that she never bats an eye at the women fawning over her. You could only hope that she sees you differently than them.
“What’s gotten you suck in that head of yours?” Abby speaks up from beside you; the two of you on your way to town square. Her hand lay gently in your back pocket, a new thing she has seemingly picked up on.
You shake your head with a smile and look back up to the blonde.
“‘S nothin’ you gotta be worried about, Abs.” You give her a smile. Abby returns a smirk, yet you know she doesn’t believe you.
“Ya’ know, I thought you’d be more excited. Ya’ somehow got me n’ Williams to agree to be in the same place.” She huffs, trying to cheer you up from whatever has gotten you in your head.This seems to do the trick because you are immediately back to your wide smiles and doe eyes.
“Oh my goodness! Almost forgot!” You giggle and nudge Abby. A genuine grin adorns her face as she sees your smile. The lengths she’d go to make you laugh. ‘As long as they’re happy’ is what Abby tells herself.
“Ya mean I could’ve turned around?” She pouts like a kicked puppy. You smack her giant bicep with a frown.
“Hush! Now c’mon! We’re here!” You pull at the hand in your backpocket until she places her big hand in yours. You are practically barrling in the doors, dragging Abby behind you in amusement.
The once dingy church was converted to a beautiful meeting center for the townspeople. Events such as weddings, birthday parties, and community dances now take place. Glowing fairy lights arch their way across the ceiling, illuminating the faces of individuals from different corners of town. Abby slows you down with a gentle tug as she prevents you from colliding with a townsperson,you don’t even notice with your head in the clouds.
“C’mon darl’, lets go grab a drink.”
Abby firmly presses her hand on the small of your back as she escorts the both of you to the bar. Suddenly, a low whistle is heard from beside Abby as the two of you wait for the bartender to serve you. Lo and behold, Ellie Williams appears into your line of vision. A gracious smile appears on her face as she sees how excited you are. Ellie makes deep eye contact with Abby, silently exchanging words with each other before turning her attention back to you.
“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.”
Ellie’s eyes trail from your tight-dress pant clad legs up to your perfect smile. Abby notices and grips your hip a bit harder. Ellie rolls her eyes at the blonde’s protectiveness, something she knows all too well.
“Howdy, Anderson.” Ellie tilts her hat in greeting. Her eyes linger on the blonde, taking in her stature. Unlike you and the other girls, Abby’s eye contact remains. Her face level, hard to decipher. You can’t tell if you are gonna need to break up a fight, but either way you have decided you need a drink. Abby nods back at Ellie with an unreadable smirk and Ellie…blushes? You can’t tell if your eyes are playing tricks on you, but you don’t get to read into it much when the bartender finally comes to take your order.
You grab a beer as Ellie and Abby grab a whiskey neat. You giggled when they both cut each other off when telling the bartender what they wanted. You have always said that if the two of them got off their high horses, they’d be the best of friends.
Small talk is traded between the two as you try and delve in conversations with the both of them. Abby and Ellie, too proud to do much more with each other, lead them to fight for your attention. Everytime one had your attention, the other found a way to have their body on yours. The combination of the alcohol and the feeling of them all over you made it hard for you to think straight.
Unbeknownst to you, Ellie and Abby could see the squeezing of your thighs and felt that flush of your warm body. They silently decided to join forces, both enjoying how needy you were getting.
You were practically sitting in Abby's lap as Ellie was whispering in your ear about something stupid. Their excuse was that you needed to be close due to the loud noises coming from the dance and the band. Abby's hand trailed up your thigh, slightly getting closer to your core as time went on. Your breath was ragged and your face was flushed. All of your thoughts were jumbled, yet two things remained clear, your need for Ellie and Abby.
A familiar song starts to play in the background as Abby and Ellie exchange some words between each other. You snap out of your haze and immediately wrangle out of Abby’s grasp.
Abby tightens her hand on yours and pulls you back to face her. Both Abby and Ellie are confused at your sudden burst.
“What’er ya doin’?” Ellie draws with a lazy smile.
“Needa-hiccup-dance!” You sway drunkenly as the blonde and the auburn haired girls look back at you in amusement.
When did you get this drunk? Everything felt like a haze when you were around them. All your thoughts turned into mush.
Abby stands so that her hands on your hips; she’s trying to stop you from drunkenly stumbling out of her line of vision.
“Hmph, let go Abs! -hiccup- can do it m’self! Wanna dance!” You pout like a baby. Why couldn’t she understand you wanted to dance?
Abby chuckles at you and shakes her head.
“Darlin’ yer drunker than my aunt Kathryn on a friday night. Ya’ know ya’ lightweight.” Abby pushes you closer to her so that you’re resting your head on her chest.
You look at Ellie for support, yet she’s just smiling at the two of you. She stands up and sandwiches you between Abby and her. You’re surrounded by pure muscle. The two similar but very distinct smells of their respective bodies fill your senses.
“Don’t look at me, princess! Anderson’s got a point. Ya’ know how Kathryn gets n’ yer gettin’ there.” Ellie cackles at the memory of Abby’s aunt. All you do is pout in response.
Abby perks up at the familiar sound of Ellie’s laugh. She would never admit it outloud, but she missed it. You let out a huff and loosen yourself from Abby’s hold.
“Gonna dance right here then!” You huff.
God, you hope you don’t remember this in the morning. You turn yourself around so that your back is facing Abby’s front. Feeling the music, your drunken self starts sensually moving your hips on your best friend. You can feel Abby’s hands on your hips grow tighter as if she was warning you not to continue. You feel her breath hitch on your upper back as you grind onto her lap. Your eyes are locked in on Ellie as she takes in the sight of you. Seeing you rub your body on Abby as her strong hands grope your torso makes her mind flurry with excitement.
Ellie leans forward and places her hands below Abby’s, resting dangerously close to your ass.
“What are ya up to, sweetheart?” Ellie whispers in your ear. You bite your lip and place your hands onto Ellie’s.
“Dancin’ with my favorite girls. S’ that a crime?” You bat your eyes. Ellie looks up from you to lock eyes with Abby.
“Think you can share, Anderson?”
“I mean we are on our best behavior, right?”
410 notes · View notes
light-yaers · 10 months
Text
Take Care: Chapter Seven
Tumblr media
Fic Masterpost | AO3 | Chapter List
Warnings: swearing, eventual smut, emotional themes.
A/N: EAT UP FOOD IS READY !!!
Word count: 8.4k
Chapter Seven
Roy had never experienced something so visceral. He read your article again, and again, and again, and each time the words stuck deeper into the different compartments of his brain. The red alert in his mind, besides your fluttering words, was how awful he’d fucking acted, how rude, how dismissive, how fucking mean. Everyone thought he was mean because of the profanity, the bluntness, the social outing aversions, but the last person he wanted to think of him as truly mean was you.
Roy didn’t want you to leave Richmond thinking the worst about him. He wanted you to leave with your head high, with multiple new people to text and call and have coffee with, with an abundance of people to send your book to after it inevitably published in a few years. Roy wanted to be on that mailing list, too, or– better yet– to meet up with you so he could get you to sign it for him.
Roy couldn’t believe how long he’d moped for. He’d never once tried to rectify the situation, while you’d been trying to keep things normal for the sake of both of your sanities, for almost a month. You painfully said hello to him every morning still, and smiled in the corridor, and kept up with your work schedule, while he’d all but fallen after his own actions. He was a grown man, and no stranger to spats, but this hit it out of the park– all because he couldn’t own up to his own fear.
If he’d just fucking read it sooner, then it wouldn’t have got to this point. If he’d just bit away his pride and breathed through the terror, he’d still be driving you home after work, and hearing your cheers in the stands for the team that you both loved dearly. He’d taken that solace away from you–
And he knew he had to fix it as soon as possible.
The day after he’d read your article, you were absent at another weekend match. That was four in a row, Roy counted sullenly. This simply wouldn’t do. Come next week, he’d bear his soul on his fucking sleeve. You’d done it so effortlessly during the argument, putting your feelings on the line while he’d all but smacked them away.
When he drove past your building on Monday morning, he had the most insane urge to stop and knock on your door. He had to hold himself back, instead opting to floor the accelerator just to get your apartment out of his eyeline. He parked and slammed his door strongly, dead set on his route to your office as soon as he entered the stadium. His heart was in his throat as he rounded the hallway and approached your door.
Your name was already on the tip of his tongue when he burst through the doorway, ready to lay it all out and apologise profusely, to explain how shitty he’d been and not excuse it, to spill his guts on the grey carpet for you to understand fully–
But you weren’t there.
He stopped and held his breath when he saw your empty desk. There was no laptop, no bag, no cup of coffee from the cafe or a stray pile of books that were all half read. Without trying, he could imagine you sat there, peering up at him with wide eyes that would only make him fucking melt on the spot– but instead there was nothing.
He recomposed himself, clearing his throat a little, before he turned and left your empty office. He headed to the locker room like normal, and stalled his inevitable outburst until the time you arrived later.
When you hadn’t shown up by lunchtime, Roy’s anxiety hit its peak. He tried to keep up with his workout normally, putting one foot in front of the other on the elevated treadmill, peering through the window at the tiny sliver of your office he could see from this position. Usually, you’d be tapping away at your keyboard, or leaned back in your chair looking at the ceiling, but there was nothing today.
It was one thing having you absent from games, but a whole other can of worms when you weren’t at the stadium at all. He didn’t fucking like it, and it grated on him extensively until he found himself storming into Ted and Beard’s office from lack of what else to fucking do.
He didn’t knock when he cut into their office through the locker room. Ted smiled with his teeth as soon as Roy was in the room, and Beard looked at him silently with his feet up on the desk and a book in his hand.
“Roy! What’s shaking–”
“If you finish that sentence with Kevin Bacon I will fly my fist through this fucking wall,” he cut over Ted strongly, pointing at the wall immediately to his right.
Ted recoiled instantly. “Alright, you’re definitely not one for rhymes. Noted.” He shuffled at his desk, and placed his hands together on the top smartly. “What can we help you with?”
“Where is she and why is her office fucking empty?” Roy wasted no time. He didn’t even have to say your name for them to know who he was talking about.  
Ted and Beard shared a knowing glance. Beard cleared his throat and adjusted the cap on his head. “Called in sick this morning. Got a cold, she said.”
Having a cold was the oldest fucking excuse in the book for calling in sick. Roy knew that well, considering he’d done it at school too many times to count.
“Will she be in tomorrow?” Roy asked sternly.
“Don’t know, Barry Manilow,” Ted said, and he winced immediately afterwards. “Sorry, that one just popped out without me even thinking.”
Roy clenched his fists until his knuckles turned white. “Fuck!” he exclaimed suddenly, loudly, but Ted and Beard were so used to it by now that they hardly reacted.
Beard pouted quizzically. “You read the article, then.” Roy sent him a pained look, but it was enough to explain everything. Beard looked back at his book and let out a sassy mhm in recognition.
“Four games. She’s missed four fucking games,” Roy said, losing some of the edge from his tone. “It’s all because of me.”
Ted nodded, humming to himself in understanding. “I think you might be right about that, Roy.”
Beard let out a sigh. “Probably got something to do with the fact you yelled and dismissed all her hard work directly to her face.” Roy shot a deadly stare at him, but Beard simply licked his finger and turned to the next page of his book.
Ted bobbed his head to the side. “And then took a month to read said work and haven’t even attempted to apologise yet–”
“I fucking get it,” Roy cut over him. “I fucked up.”
“Royally,” said Ted.
“To oblivion,” said Beard.
“Fuck!” Roy exclaimed again, but this time to the floor. He was so angry with himself. He was so sad that he’d made you so sad.
“Now, I know yelling profanity into the stratosphere might be a great coping mechanism for you, Roy, but I’m not so sure that’s going to help clean up the rest of this here mess.” Ted stood slowly, sticking his hands in his pockets, as he rounded his desk to stand opposite his team Captain. “What did you think?”
Roy forced himself to look at his coach. He clenched his jaw. “Of what?”
“The article,” Ted urged.
There were so many words that Roy would use to describe what you’d written. Lovely, passionate, the nicest thing he’d ever fucking read, and the nicest thing he’d ever had done for his sake. But the words he chose were ones that he’d slept upon since he’d first read it.
“I don’t deserve it.” He sucked in a rattling breath. “Those words in that order were something I have never fucking deserved to have written about me, especially by her.”
Ted shrugged. “Well, I personally don’t think that. Do you, Coach?” He turned to Beard.
Beard shook his head with his face buried in his book. “Nope,” he said. “But, I can definitely see why you’d think that.” Beard’s voice trailed off quietly.
“We’re in agreement there, for sure, but–” Ted turned back to Roy, and smiled at him gently. “I think all of us can accurately say that, if her opinion of you is as high as she wrote in that article, then it’s gotta be gosh darn true, now, doesn’t it.”
Roy tried to digest Ted’s words, but none of it was making him feel any better. He didn’t need people telling him he deserved nice things at the best of times, but after the way he’d acted that was the last fucking thing he wanted. All it did was cement how badly he’d overreacted, how badly he’d misunderstood your intentions and feelings.
“She isn’t the kind of person to lie, Roy– especially not about someone she regards highly. And I think you know that very well, already.” Ted furrowed his brows softly, and Roy finally relaxed his hands.
His arms felt shaky with how much he’d been tensing his muscles. His chest felt lighter when he breathed in and out, filling up his lungs with fresh air, as he tried to rationalise and believe everything that Ted was saying.
“My apology isn’t going to be enough to fix this,” Roy said lowly. “Saying sorry seems like a fucking waste after all I’ve done.”
“Maybe so,” Ted acknowledged. “But, it’s a heck of a good place to start.”
Your head pounded painfully. Your limbs ached incessantly. You didn’t think it was possible to contract a cold in the Spring, but your body had proved you wrong. All you could realistically do was lay in bed, but you did so with your laptop propped atop your duvet covered torso, just so you could still answer emails and get some work done.
If anything, the quiet of your apartment felt calmer. It was different to the quiet that you experienced at the Dogtrack, especially after the fight last month. Roy hadn’t so much as said two sentences to you in that time, but neither had you to him, so both of you were as bad as each other.
Oddly, though, you felt at peace. You’d made yourself clear, and given him the option to keep up or fall behind. When you looked at him now, all you saw were the remnants of your confrontation, playing over and over in his head constantly. You wondered if he’d read the article, or if he would never. You wondered if you’d ever get back to the way you were before all of this bollocks started.
You kept thinking before that you wished you’d never written the damn thing, but that wasn’t necessarily true. You were proud of it, even if Roy wasn’t. You were being noticed after it had been published, and it had flowered a few opportunities— post MA— for you. It had worked out in your favour. It could work out in Roy’s too, if only he’d open his damn mind.
There was part of you that didn’t even want to fix this, but whenever you found yourself thinking of that outcome you felt guilty. You knew Roy, or thought you did, and wanted to say for certain that he’d try to resolve this. But, as the days dwindled past, that outcome was getting further and further away from you.
If anything, being ill had given you a bit of a break. Sat in bed with your laptop, you weren’t overly anxious about seeing Roy’s face in the hallway, or in the locker room. You didn’t feel the need to be quiet when he was present, or felt the painful pang of your heart whenever he looked straight past you. Instead, you were comfortable under your duvet, dosed up on cold and flu capsules, and ready for a nap despite it being the early afternoon.
You were stripped from your relaxation as soon as your buzzer went off. You groaned as you got up, trying to keep yourself steady on your weak legs. When you clicked the intercom, you let out a disgruntled hello.
“Hey, it’s Eli from the upstairs flat! Sorry, I forgot my keys. Can you buzz me in?” your neighbour asked. You let out a pent up breath you hadn’t realised you’d been holding, because– for a split second– you’d thought it might’ve been Roy. Just maybe.
“Of course,” you breathed out. “Come on in.” You unlocked the main door with your intercom buzzer. You heard it click open outside the door of your flat, and slam closed again. Eli’s footsteps bound up the stairs and into his own apartment.
You turned around and leant against your front door. You shivered as your back hit the subtle cold of the wood, and you let out a colossal sigh as you fluttered your eyes shut. This needed to stop. Thinking of him, expecting him to behave in the way you’d always thought he was capable of, because all you got from it was disappointment. Maybe he’d decided to bin this all off, just so it made his life easier. Maybe you’d utterly misjudged the situation, and he thought you were a mental case.
Either way, Roy wasn’t going to come to your front door. He wasn’t going to beg for forgiveness, or apologise, or look at you with his dark eyes like he couldn’t fucking stand the fact he’d made you sad. Roy Kent wasn’t going to do any of that.
And you just had to accept it.
You composed yourself enough to stand up straight again, and when you opened your eyes you took in the state of your fucking apartment. It had become a mess over the past month, since you’d found yourself almost unable to complete the basic house chores and tasks that you usually did. It was just too hard to do your laundry now, or run a hoover around your floor, or make yourself substantial meals. All of it proved to be entirely too much when you were reminded of just how fucking sad you felt. You knew it was silly to hold onto these emotions, but when they were further perpetuated every time you stepped into your workplace, it made it all the more difficult to shrug it aside.
You went to let out a sigh of frustration at yourself, but that abruptly turned into a shocked gasp when your intercom buzzer went off again. You clutched a haste hand to your heart, before you swivelled around and pressed down on the receiver.
“Hello?” you let out.
“Hey.” You stopped breathing when his croaking voice hit your ears. It was only made more static through the speaker, but you’d recognise it anywhere.
You gulped away the shock of it all as fast as you could. “Roy?” you asked. It was a stupid question, you knew it was him already.
“Yeah,” he said hoarsely.
“What are you–?” you said, but stopped yourself when you realised how frantic your voice sounded. You took in a quick and shaking breath. “What’s up?” you settled on, in the spirit of seeming cool and composed, despite being the absolute opposite.
“Can I come in?” Roy asked, and you were struck by the immediate want to reject him. You and your flat were a state. You were still in your fucking pyjamas.
“I’m… not very well,” you said, but you winced as you did so. It sounded so bad, and you truly wanted to see him, just not like this. Part of you had started aching even more so after you’d realised it was his voice over the intercom.
You thought he’d growl, or swear, or do anything else than what he actually did. “I don’t care,” Roy said lowly. “I’ll take the risk of catching whatever you have, just please let me in.”
You lowered your forehead to your front door again, your heart racing. Was this really the right time for him to see you at rock fucking bottom? A mess, inside and out, ill and full of snot, as well as sleep deprived? You didn’t want him to enter only to want to immediately leave again. Not now. Not after it had been so long. Not after he’d finally plucked up the courage to make an effort.
Exhaling through your nose, you clicked down on the intercom stubbornly. “Okay, come in.” You pressed the buzzer to the front of your building, and quickly unlocked your own door, all the while trying to stop your fingers from shaking.
Roy pushed the door to your building open, and as he did, you debated whether to open the door for him, or get him to knock. You shuffled on your bare feet before your door, hearing the slow and intentional footsteps of him outside, but you still couldn’t decide–
That’s when he knocked.
And you let out an abrupt. “It’s open.”
He let himself in as you quickly launched yourself at your cluttered coffee table. You started picking up mugs as the door opened, and before you could even lay your eyes on Roy before you, you dashed to the kitchen with them in your arms.
They clattered on the worktop as you placed them down. One fell into the sink and the handle almost snapped off. You tried not to think about the fact you looked like a mess, or how entirely unprepared you were for this at the moment. This had been the last thing you’d been expecting today. Your heart wasn’t ready to be put on the line again, not after the month you’d just endured.
You hunched your shoulders to your ears as you leaned by the sink. Roy shut the door behind him and clicked the lock from habit.
“Hey,” he said again, and his voice reverberated throughout your apartment. When it hit the back of your neck, you shivered.
You gulped, and forced yourself to be as normal as possible. “In the kitchen!” you said cheerily, but even Roy knew you were lying. You got deja vu from the night of the charity ball when you heard his steps on the floor.
He strolled around the corner and stood by the counter behind you, a few metres from where you were hunched over the sink. You could feel his presence, a warm feeling on your back, that made your hairs stand up on end. Goosebumps prickled on your arms, alongside a few drops of sweat on your forehead that could have been from your raised temperature, or just from the fact that Roy was in your fucking flat.
You slowly picked up one of the mugs to your right and started washing it up. The water was cold, but you didn’t care.
“Coach said you called in sick,” Roy started.
You inhaled sharply. “Yeah, I’ve definitely been better.”
“I thought I’d… come and check in on you,” he said. You closed your eyes, fighting against the urge to run your mouth or say something entirely stupid.
Quickly, you dropped the mug you were holding and turned off the tap. You turned around to meet his eye, before leaning against the sink behind you, keeping your shoulders hunched up defensively.
“Thank you, but I’m just fine.” Your throat felt like sandpaper as soon as you allowed yourself to finally look at him properly.
Roy’s eyes were glassy, glassier than you’d ever seen them before. He had this almost pitying look on his face, but you knew that Roy Kent didn’t pity anyone, least of all himself. He looked chastised, he looked guilty, and the way his hands were balled at his sides made you want to take them in your own and delicately swipe your fingers over his distressed knuckles.
“I thought you were lying about being ill,” Roy explained.
You scoffed, only to give yourself an excuse to look at the floor. His stare was too intense, too exposing. “Why would I lie about that?”
“To avoid me,” Roy said immediately. You froze, and you frowned.
“Do you really think I’d do that, Roy?” you asked, keeping your voice steady, as you caught his eye once more.
Roy shook his head. “It’s something I would do,” he said, before he winced at himself. “It’s something I fucking did, your first week on the job.” Realisation slapped him around the face. “I wouldn’t blame you—,” He swallowed. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did that to avoid me.”
You swallowed the want to vomit. Maybe it was from the excess amount of paracetamol and ibuprofen you’d consumed over the past three days, but you heavily doubted that. It was because all that you’d thought wouldn’t happen was actually happening. Roy was here, and he was looking at you like he knew just how badly he’d fucked up and hurt you. He was looking at you like he was on the brink of confessing his deepest, darkest secrets.
And for once, you weren’t sure if you wanted it. It had taken him a month to take initiative. Was that really something you were willing to excuse? Even if it was Roy?
“I wouldn’t avoid you like that, Roy,” you said gently. “Being on the receiving end of it was more than enough.”
Roy took a gentle step forward, but stopped when he saw your chest stutter. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” His voice was soft and full of feeling. “I fucked up. And none of it was fair on you.”
You peered up at him, and tapped your fingers against the counter top. You didn’t know what to say, and somehow you couldn’t find the strength to say you forgave him immediately.
Roy took another step forward. “I shouldn’t have led you to believe I was okay with the article, and I shouldn’t have blown up at you after Keeley submitted it. I shouldn’t have ignored you, and avoided you. I should’ve— fuckin’— said something. I should have said that it wasn’t your fault, and acknowledged all the shit I was feeling, and not fucking—,” he stopped, and breathed in and out deeply. “I read it.”
Your heart stopped. “When?”
“On Friday night,” he said. “You didn’t come to the game on Saturday, and then when you weren’t in today, I just—,” he choked on his words, and your gut lurched. “The guys miss you.”
You didn’t care about the guys. Not right now. Not about this. Maybe that was his way of saying he missed you too.
Roy took another step forward, bridging the gap between you just a little more. “What you wrote, well it’s… not what I was expecting. I was scared, and I lashed out, and for that I can’t say sorry enough.”
You nodded, letting his words sink in. “Thank you,” you croaked. You didn’t mean for it to be so, but your throat had all but closed up.
“Ted and Beard gave me a fucking grilling,” he said. You scoffed so abruptly that it took you by surprise. The faintest smile appeared on Roy’s lips. “Sam and Isaac told me to read it. I should have done it sooner. I should have done this sooner.”
This. Apologise. Put his heart on the line. All of it.
This was a step in the right direction, you knew that, but something held you back from fully accepting his words. The hurt he’d caused had done damage, and as much as you had closure now, you still needed time to heal.
You nodded again, and caught his eye strongly. “Thank you for saying so, Roy. I… yeah. Just thank you.”
Roy nodded at you, before he shuffled a hand into the pocket of his leather jacket. What emerged was a bright blue and red Richmond shirt. He hovered it towards you, before he draped it open so you could see the number and name on the back.
“We had Nate make this for you,” he said.
Before you, you read the number 1, and above it read WRITER. Your heart swelled. You were part of the team in more ways than one now.
You breathed out through your nose gently as you took the shirt from his hands. You smiled, properly, for the first time in ages.
“I finally have something to wear on match days,” you said, and the smile that Roy shot your way was more than enough for you.
The moment ended abruptly when a dizzy spell hit you hard. Your face went sheet white and your gut dropped, similar to a feeling of falling. You clutched onto the kitchen counter with all your strength, just to keep yourself from keeling over.
Roy witnessed it all, and abruptly lunged at you. “Fuck,” he said quickly, as you gently brought a hand to your waist to keep you standing. “You alright?”
You nodded quickly, breathing deeply. “I guess my diet of cold and flu meds and water for the past three days has finally hit me,” you let out, trying to keep things light.
“What can I do to help?” Roy asked.
You shook your head. “I just need to sleep it off.”
“Come on,” he said, as he proactively twisted himself so he held up your bodyweight with one arm. You draped your arm over his shoulder to make it easier, and the two of you gently started towards your room.
Roy could tell you were burning up. Your body temperature radiated onto him tenfold, and the clammy look on your face was enough to know you had a raging fever.
“I can’t believe I thought you fucking lied about being ill,” he said, and you let out a breathy chuckle. “You can’t even fucking stand properly.”
“I don’t like lying,” you said, as the two of you rounded the corner to your bedroom door. “I’m fine, really.”
“Doesn’t like lying but just tried to gaslight me. You’re one of those fucking sneaky ones, aren’t you?” Roy teased. You didn’t have the strength to laugh back as much as you wanted to, so you settled on a simply whispered ha. “For the record, I don’t like lying either,” he stated.
You gently placed your hand on his chest to stop him from walking you straight to your bed. You didn’t want to seem utterly pathetic.
“I’m alright, really. Just had a moment,” you said. Roy nodded, but he still stayed close after he let you go. You leaned against your door and peered up at him softly. “I’ll try and be back at work tomorrow, anyway.”
Roy furrowed his brows at you intensely. “If your arse shows up at Nelson Road tomorrow, I will personally shove you in my car and drive you straight fucking back here,” he said sternly.
You tried to stop yourself, but your lips curled upwards into a small and mischievous smile. It was funny when Roy got angry for the sake of your well-being. It was even funnier when you remembered you were still in your fucking pyjamas.
You raised your hands in defeat. “Alright,” you agreed without a fight.
“Okay,” he said, backing down. He took a few steps back towards your front door, but you stopped him by standing up straight.
“Wait,” you said, as you shuffled towards him and reached out behind him. You plucked his jacket from the peg on the wall to his left, and hovered it in front of him. “Just before I forget.”
Roy took his jacket from you gently, and folded it over his arm, imitating the football shirt over your own.
“I wonder how you even dealt with the fact I had that for more than five fucking months,” you said jokingly.
Roy shrugged. “I bought another one to match my suit.”
You widened your eyes at him, astounded. He’d known you had it all along. Maybe there was something to be said about that, about wanting you to always have a part of him.
“Fucking idiot,” you breathed out.
Roy smiled at you like the sun. “Go and rest,” he said, as he gently grabbed the door handle and opened it up.
“Okay,” you said.
“Okay.” He nodded.
And then he was gone. After you locked the door behind him, you crawled back into bed. You could still feel his presence as you wrapped yourself in your duvet, and as you closed your eyes, all of his apologies replayed themselves beneath your eyelids.
As you recovered from this fucking flu, Rebecca let you work from home for the rest of the week. It was needed, and you still managed to stay productive in the daytime, without the need to be exhausted by social interactions. Sam texted you everyday, sending you well wishes and updating on what the guys were up to. They had another match coming up that Saturday, and the threat of relegation was even more so. With less than two months until the end of the season, and their final match being against Man City, you knew that they were all feeling the pressure.
You felt bad that you hadn’t been there to spur them on over the past month, but you realised almost reluctantly that you’d needed the time away. To reflect, to manage your emotions, to not hold back when Roy eventually apologised. Despite his kind words and accountability, you felt like you were almost back at square one with him–
Back to those first few months, before the charity ball, before that unspoken something had begun, but it was ten times worse now; because both of you knew that there was something there, but neither of you dared cross the line after the fight. The threat of losing the other forever was far too prominent, but you still felt yourself melt at the small things.
Roy texted you during the week at random times, with the most random of things.
Ted just told the team he thought bangers and mash was a famous porno film.
Just told the guys you’ll be at the game on Saturday and Isaac pulled down his pants in excitement.
Nate’s getting promoted to coach but he thinks Rebecca is gonna fire him. It’s fucking hilarious.
You replied accordingly, but that last one got you pumped up. Nate had always been a funny one. Too shy to properly open up to you, but sweet and kind in his own way. The amount of awkward interactions you’d had with him were enough to indicate his skills with women (or lack thereof) but you still enjoyed his company. He’d helped you during countless visiting sessions with the Diamond Dogs, and definitely liked gossip just as much as Higgins.
When you walked into the Dogtrack on Saturday, Richmond shirt donned and a skip in your step for the first time in a long while, you felt like you were coming home. It was that mixture of nostalgia that you got when you visited your family at Christmas, or when you saw someone you knew from secondary school. Excitement, but also the knowledge that you were stepping into an environment where you were properly known. Properly loved, even.
That’s what the Dogtrack felt like to you now, in all of her glory, with those creepy fucking pictures of the guys that dotted the walls on the stadium; the one of Roy always caught your eye when you entered the manager’s office. It was right by the door, and from Ted’s desk, you could see it if you turned your head to the left. It was like he was looking straight at you through the glass, arms crossed, jaw tensed. Roy fucking Kent.
You followed the familiar hallways of the lower level, headed to the locker room. There was a buzz in the air that you’d become accustomed to after multiple games, and you knew you’d arrived right on time for one of Ted’s pep talks. You heard his voice as you approached the door, and knew that you’d enter into the guys sitting on the benches, listening intently to their coach.
“Now fellas, I don’t need to tell you what’s at stake here. That’s not what I’m here for, and that’s the last gosh darn thing I need to be telling you, when I bet you’ve all been thinking about it in your own time,” Ted said, and you caught a glimpse of him through the door. Hands in his pockets, a small smile making his moustache look like an upturned moon on his face. “You all know that you’re capable. When you’re in the flow, well… that’s some of the most beautiful football I’ve ever seen in my, albeit small, time as your coach.”
“It is like a modern dance,” Dani said from within the room. You could practically sense the nods of his teammates around him. “Let us play like we are on stage at the ballet, yes?”
“Well said, Dani!” Ted encouraged. “You know you can do it, and all I’m asking y’all to do is–”
“Believe,” you said suddenly, raising your voice, before you turned the corner and revealed yourself in the doorway. Your own confidence took you by surprise, but it paid off as soon as you saw the faces of the guys.
The energy in the room tripled, and their smiles shone on you like a goddamn spotlight. Ted was the first to approach you, placing a hand on your shoulder gently as he guided you further into the room. He didn’t need to say anything for you to feel the love they were exuding. And as much as you wanted to yell support at them, you knew you had an apology to make.
You turned to guys, urged on by Ted’s hand on your shoulder. “I know I haven’t been to a game for a while, and I’m sorry for that.” You shot the smallest of stares at Roy, only to find his gaze stuck on you already. You breathed out and continued. “But, I’m here now, and–” You turned around quickly, and pointed at the number and name on your shirt. “I’m Richmond till I fucking die!” you yelled, and Nate flinched next to Beard.
The team erupted like young volcanoes. Isaac jumped up first and fast, and bombarded towards you before you’d even fully turned around. He wrapped his arms around you strongly, and lifted you from the ground in a hug of epic proportions. Your feet dangled above the floor, but you simply accepted your fate and hugged him back.
They broke out in song– Richmond till we die, we’re Richmond till we die. We know we are, we’re sure we are, we’re Richmond till we die.
When Isaac finally dropped you to the floor, you stayed back to admire them. You did this whenever you could, just watched them as they pumped each other up, as they intertwined their emotions and got ready to fight a battle on the football pitch. It was a sight to behold, and one that you felt privileged to be able to see.
Just like at Everton, you were thrust from the scene by a tap on the shoulder by Roy. You whisked yourself around to face him, and regarded him thoughtfully. His eyes flicked back and forth between your own, before he peered down your shirt.
He raised his brows subtly. “It suits you,” he said.
You chuckled silently through your nose. “Liar,” you joked.
“It really brings out the neon glow on your face,” Roy said, sticking a hand out to gently prod one of your cheeks. You swatted him away, smiling to yourself as you did so. “Really though, have you run a fucking marathon or something?”
“Fuck off!”
“You’re sweating like you’ve just played ninety-minutes,” he teased.
“I was nervous, okay?” you chuckled out, and Roy’s own laughter melded into the mix.
He dropped his hand to his side, but you almost wished he’d kept it close by. As the last of the laughter trickled between you, a tense feeling hit you in the gut instead. You were reminded of his impromptu visit on Monday, and it all came flooding back to you before you could dam it up. There was something soft that transcended words between you, full of all the prior laughs, the yells, the stares that neither of you ever noticed from the other. The secretive ones, the ones that you were certain were private, until the other abruptly turned around from the feeling of being seen.
Roy cleared his throat, adamant not to blow his fucking cover. “It’s good to have you back,” he said, but as the words fell from his lips so too did the rest. The want, the need and everything in between.
You gulped down his words like you needed them to survive. “It’s good to be back.”
Everything fell back into place after your return. Richmond won the match that Saturday, and drinks were shared in the locker room until the early hours of the morning. You spent the Sunday after at your flat, writing your novel non-stop as a tsunami of inspiration struck you from out of the blue. Typing on your keyboard, you lost sense of time entirely, and found yourself writing for more than five hours before you got up to do anything– eat, drink, take a piss. Bursts of inspiration were a rarity for you, so you knew you had to bleed yourself dry before it lapsed.
As the last of your assignments were due, you took pleasure in the peace of your office at the stadium. You tried not to think about how fast time was running out. As the weeks rushed by, the inevitable end of your placement was fast approaching, but you weren’t going to let it get you down. You knew that, despite leaving Richmond, you had made friends for life. You’d be damned if you and Sam didn’t share book recommendations beyond your time working there, and you were determined to be a true Richmond season ticket holder from here on in.
They were your team, your family, and deep down you knew you’d always be welcomed back with open arms. You could already imagine yourself strolling the corridors after a game, or randomly dropping in on the guys during a lunch break. That craving wasn’t going to fade away anytime soon. You would embrace it.
Richmond’s match win upon your return was joyous, yes, but it wasn’t enough. As the final month of the season hit you, whispers whittled around the corridors of the lower levels of the Dogtrack. You knew the rumours, the whispers, the mutters, and it wasn’t just because of Higgin’s love of gossip–
It was written all over Roy’s face.
There wasn’t anything that triggered it, so to say, but his form was becoming more noticeable with every game that the guys played. For years, Roy had been a staple of AFC Richmond, but as Coach Lasso finally spread his wings across his players, it was clear to see there was a difference in performance when it came to their team Captain.
You noticed it alongside everyone else, one practice, when you’d decided to take your laptop outside and sit in the stands. As the guys ran drills, Roy’s abrupt curse words and incessant effing and blinding only exacerbated the levels of his struggle. This was exactly what he’d spoken about in your interview– the inevitably that he was slowing down, that he simply couldn’t catch up with his younger teammates anymore.
You saw it when he urged himself forward, through pain and stiff joints and hurt. You saw it when he avoided team outings after more failed plays during games. Eventually, there had to be a final straw, and it came in the form of Roy causing the team to lose during the penultimate match of the season.
It was too much to be ignored, and everyone knew it.
After the game, you entered the locker room as players started trickling out to head home. You hadn’t wanted to bombard them afterwards, least of all Roy. You sent Sam a small smile as he called it a night, and you found yourself sitting in the locker room with your back against Roy’s cubby. He was nowhere to be seen, and you’d heard mutters about him taking an ice-bath in the treatment room.
Ted strolled towards you from the manager’s office, and sent you a stellar smile as he sat next to you on the bench.
You breathed together in understanding. It was impossible not to feel the realisation of it all, and as much as you wanted Roy to keep going, you were afraid he was going to kill himself trying, instead.
“What’re you thinking about, writer?” Ted asked, and you huffed through your nose.
The team had been calling you writer after Nate had your shirt made. It was their nickname for you, despite it sounding like nothing affectionate. To you, though, it meant a lot.
“I don’t know,” you let out. “What’re you thinking about, Coach?”
Ted leaned back into Sam’s cubby, and sighed deeply. “I’m thinking about far too much to be able to pick just one thing, if I’m being honest,” he said in his familiar Southern drawl. You’d grown fond of it over the past eight months. “It all comes down to next week.”
“Relegation, you mean?” you asked. It was pointless to, but it was almost like addressing the elephant in the room.
“Relegation, indeed,” Ted said lowly. “Lemme ask you this.” He sat up straight, and turned to face you on the bench. “What would you do if you had to choose between the– objectively right– opinions of your fellow coaches, or the dignity and pride of one of the greatest football players of your generation?”
God, he was fucking talking about Roy. In any other moment, you’d be happy to talk about Roy until your voice was nothing but a crack, but if it was about benching him; you didn’t want to talk about it all. It was impossible to navigate, and even more impossible to accept that reality. Benching Roy before the final game of the season would affect more than just his feelings, and you were glad it wasn’t you that had to make Ted’s decision for him.
As much as you wanted Roy to play, there was part of you that wanted to scream at him to look at the bigger picture. This game wasn’t worth that pain. It wasn’t worth hurting himself to keep up with his teammates. If it was too much, that wasn’t anything to be ashamed of in your eyes, but you suspected that was very different on Roy’s part.
You sighed deeply, stuck at a crossroads. You suspected Beard and Nate had already been on Ted’s ass to get him to pull off the bandaid, to just say it to Roy and get it over with, but you didn’t want to add anything to the mix that would sway Ted’s decision further. It was hard enough as it was.
“That’s a decision I couldn’t possibly make, Coach,” you said finally, and shot him a knowing smile. “I’m not in your shoes, and if I was–” you stopped, struggling to get the words out. “Well, that’s just it. I’m not. I wouldn’t be able to decide. Not when I love them all so much.”
“The guys, you mean?” he asked.
You shrugged. “Amongst others, yes.”
Ted smiled at that, getting what you were hinting at. You loved them all. The guys, the coaches, Rebecca, Keeley, Higgins. Ted’s smile quickly turned into shock and realisation. “Oh, heck! I totally forgot about you.”
You squinted at him in surprise. “What about me?”
“Your placement finishes next week, don’t it?”
You gulped away the want to cry. “It does, indeed,” you mimicked his Southern drawl to break open the sadness and tension you felt, but Ted saw straight through you.
He leaned in gently, and bashed his shoulder against yours. “You really think they’re all gonna let you go that easy, huh?” he said jokingly, but the knowing look in his eyes made you feel seen. You suspected he felt it himself, too. With the threat of relegation mere days away, you didn’t doubt that the subject of Ted resigning had come up before.
He was actually thinking about it then, as the two of you shared a look that was impossible to ignore. In one glance, you both said the same thing– you’d both miss Richmond beyond belief when your time there came to an end.
“He’s in the treatment room,” Ted said suddenly, changing the subject. “Roy.”
“He probably wants to be left alone,” you said, staring off to the manager’s office door. Above it, Ted’s believe poster lit up the room.
“Oh, he definitely does, don’t get me wrong,” Ted said, before he stood up from the bench. “But, I bet he wouldn’t be opposed to you keeping him company for a little while.”
As Ted strolled back to the manager’s office, you got up yourself. You breathed deeply a few times, before you slowly crossed the hall to the treatment room. The lights were off, but the large bin for ice-baths was set up inside, with the glare from the TV screen on lightening it. Through the window, you spotted Roy’s eyes just over the lip of the bin, and you gently entered through the door.
He didn’t say anything as you pulled up a stool and sat next to him. Only after a moment did he stir, and sit himself up so his head poked out of the ice cold water. You both sat and watched the TV for a bit, as a broadcaster whittled on about Richmond’s latest match.
You winced when they mentioned Roy’s fuck up. Pundits on screen discussed his plays, and his losses. You hated how they were talking in past tense– Roy was, instead of Roy is. It made you angry enough to grab the remote quickly and turn off the screen, before you dropped yourself back onto the stool next to him.
Gently, he turned his head towards you. You stayed frozen, not wanting to meet his eye just yet, because you didn’t want him to gauge your expression. As much as it annoyed you, Roy’s ability to read your face like a fucking book was also a sign of something more. It started after the night of the charity ball, when he’d calmed you down in your kitchen, and had only grown since then. As much as that invisible wall still stood between you, even after you made up from your fight, you knew he’d still be able to know everything about you in a single stare.
Roy flicked his eyes over your profile. You felt every hair on your body stand up,
“Just tell me to fuck off, if you want,” you said, breathing out deeply.
“Okay,” Roy said plainly. You thought that meant yes.
You turned to him and caught his eye bluntly. “Go on, then.”
“I don’t want you to fuck off,” he said, furrowing his brows at you questioningly. “Do you want me to tell you to fuck off?”
You huffed in frustration. “No,” you said. You didn’t know how to tread this, didn’t know what to say. Maybe the guys thought you were good, empathetic, a great listener, but when it came to Roy you didn’t know what you could say to make it better.
Probably nothing, which was what you struggled with.
“Okay, then,” he said, before he turned back to the blank screen.
You both stared at it together, sitting in each other’s silence with an understanding that floated through the air. You didn’t want to bring it up, and Roy knew that. He also didn’t want to bring it up, which you were perfectly fine with. So instead, you simply sat, and you said nothing. The air felt warm despite the ice cubes floating in Roy’s ice bath, or maybe it was just you.
You hadn’t been alone like this since he’d shown up at your apartment, and after something as severe as his last game, you were under even more pressure to say and do the right thing.
“What are you thinking about?” Roy croaked out gently.
You sighed. “Everyone’s been asking me that today,” you let out.
Roy shuffled in the ice bath, hoisting himself up so he could drape his bare arms over the back of the bin. “What did you tell em?”
You met his eye finally, and shrugged your shoulders. “I don’t know. I have no fucking idea what I’m thinking about.”
“All the time?” Roy asked, and you ignored the way his gaze flicked up and down your face, just for a second.
You huffed gently. “All the time.”
“Ask me what I’m thinking about,” he said.
You flicked your gaze over his stoic face, only now, it didn’t look so stoic. It looked raw, emotional, and soft. All the things you knew that Roy Kent wasn’t on the outside, but what he’d been like to you after that night.
“What are you thinking about, Roy?” you whispered, and his lips upturned into the smallest and most imperceptible of smiles.
“I’m thinking about how much that fucking shirt suits you,” he said, referring to the Richmond shirt that you wore. “It suits you more than it’s ever suited me.”
You turned away quickly, feeling your cheeks warm. “Oh, fuck off,” you breathed out, trying to hide how flustered you were.
“I mean it,” he said gently, and you allowed yourself to peer back at him. “It’s going to be strange without you here.”
You’d been counting down the days. Only six remained until your final Friday working in that office, next to the gym, with the guys laughter, and tears, and hurt, and pain, and all the rest.
“I’m going to miss it,” you let out, and your voice almost cracked.
Gently, Roy hoisted an arm out of the ice bath and reached towards you. Gently, he prodded a careful finger onto one of your warm cheeks, just for a second, hardly felt by you apart from the immense cold that rushed over every inch of your body. A shiver of him.
“Me too,” he said with a finality, before he retracted his arm.
The two of you looked back at the blank screen before you, sat in darkness, hearing the soft huffs of your breathing as the room stayed stuck in time.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Tag list: @atjamesbbarnes​ @20th-centu-fairy-girl​ @royalestrellas​ @weakmoony-stuff​ @ironmanmagnetfridge​ @lemonpiegurll​ @hellomagicalsouls​ @her-fandom-sanctum @gothicwidowsworld​ @old-enough-to-know-better73​ @djarindroid​ @afraidofshrimp​ @respondingtoshowerthoughts-blog @queen-of-dumbasses​ @sogoodtoheritsvicious​ @lznnph1l @crav1ngc4ke​ @onceuponaoneshot​ @jamieolivia27​ @dadbodfanatic-x​ @kelp-dreaming​ @harrypedro465 @lonely-escape-artist​ @abeeabeeabee @nicklet94 @libsybum @cha0sdreaming​ @toomany24s​ @kashee-h​ @infinetlyforgotten​ @secretnook​ @cluelesslilsharkie​ @callmecasey81​ @deepdarkvelvet​ @twiceinabluemoon​ @cardeegans​ @golden-hoax​ @kingleahhh​ @hoalkk1 @sunderland-6​ @ellouisa17​ @thesestrangerslikeme​
298 notes · View notes
ebonyslasher · 5 months
Text
Scary, Spicy, and Sweet? Pt. 2
Synopsis: You work as a new Nurse in Smith's Grove after finding a passion working with mentally ill patients. Impressed with your skills, Dr. Loomis assigns you to the infamous Michael Myers. His terrorizing activities take an odd, sexy turn that surprises you.
This is part 2. This one has 18+ content. Grown folks Only! Read part 1 here.
This is a request from soooo long ago for @hdhhffgjdhdhdbdbd. I do hope that you enjoy.
Tumblr media
Discovering that you were not coming in, set Michael OFF.
Over the past 3 weeks, your reactions have amused him greatly. The shaking in your arms and legs made him chuckle. The short screams from his fake attacks made his cold heart race. However, his focus shifted to other aspects about you. You were very beautiful. Your beauty enhances your scared visage, making you more attractive each day. Your wide nostrils would cutely scrunch when you felt uncomfortable. The way your lips contorted made him want to nibble and suck. Wide mouth screams made him want to cover your mouth with his and dip his tongue into you. Those wonderful eyes of yours would blow up into the cutest way, like a small cat on alert.
Michael could not help but notice your smell. It was always so pleasant. He could not place the scent, but it was light and alluring. It made him inspect your body with increased interest. Your breasts looked delectable. Plump. Sometimes he could see your nipples after a good scare, making his dick jump in excitement. He wanted to watch those hips and ass jiggle as he chased you around, excited to catch his cute little nurse. 
It was only yesterday that he realized that he found you the most adorable person he’s ever seen. These feelings, these thoughts were unlike him. He could not wait to explore these odd feelings with you. And now you took the day off? 
He would make sure you never leave his side again. 
“...Only doing this cause it’s damn 80 an hour….. fucking…. Michael ass Myers, big funky ass self!....and that weird ass doctor…” You mutter as you stomp through each steel double door, clocking into work, yet AGAIN. 
Although you took the offer for extra money, you were still highly upset. You were already running yourself ragged with how often you worked. Surely the hospital was technically breaking some labor laws for allowing this. You should have had a few days off throughout those last few weeks. But that overtime pay was nice. Being aggressive with payments significantly cut down on your student loan debt in the past 7 months.
Still fuming, you make your way towards the nurses station to acquire the stock medication. While typing in the code to access the sedative, an idea pops into your head. Maybe if you administer the medicine as fast as possible, then you could go home sooner. Just stay for a few hours to get enough pay and clock out. Michael would be knocked out anyway and you’d just be sitting around. This was sounding like a good plan. Executing it though could be a problem.
The sedative deposits out of the machine and you read its label. While doing some calculations at your station, a fellow colleague known as Davis Sellers, comes into the area. The man looks distraught. Once he sees you, his shoulders visibly relax. 
“Man, it's like I'm looking at an angel right now.” He sighs out.
“An angel? What’s gotten into you?” You asked, amused.
“That nigga Michael…went crazy as hell. I was getting the medicine ready right? Why I turn around and he looking at me cock eyed??? And then that motherfucker jumped at me ooooo noooo. Man, I was fighting for my damn life in there. Had to yell for backup.” During his story telling you had to look away and stifle your laugh. Sometimes, you hated how he told stories. It's not funny, but it's funny. 
“Damn, well he better get some sense when I get in there. Cause he’s gonna get knocked the fuck out soon!” You replied, faking some confidence to uplift your work friend.
“Ay, good luck. If he tries something just yell. I got you.” David tells you as he comes over to pat your back in solidarity.
“Oh I will. I’m bout to go get this over with right now.” You gather the materials and begin to head out the station. You double back, squinting your eyes in suspicion. You had a feeling that you were forgetting something...the key! A golden, square shaped key sat beside your computer. You grab it, needing it to access Michaels’ room. Ready to get this ordeal over with, you speed walk towards his room. 
Although you were excited, you were very apprehensive. There was unease hovering in the air as you approached his foreboding door. This man, with his sizable muscles and strict determination, was already riled up. David didn’t inform you specifically of how they left him. What exactly you were walking into was unknown, but you were ready to scream at any moment's notice. Standing in front of the door, you hoped that he wouldn’t continue the bull shit. 
Shakily, you use the square key to open the door. And the first thing you see is Michael. He looks pitiful all wrapped up in a white straightjacket, mirroring the ‘crazy’ characters in movies.  ‘Never thought I would see the straightjacket used in real life,’ you thought, slightly amused. The straightjacket looks like it fought for its life as well, scuff marks of unknown origin littering its ragged form. It looked like there was a second straight jacket weirdly wrapped around his muscular legs. How they did that, you didn’t know. As long as he couldn’t move, you were chill. Michael just sat awkwardly on his bed, leaning against the white wall, observing you like always.  
You don’t even mutter a greeting when you turn to the nearest counter to lay your materials onto. You absentmindedly lay the key near the edge of the counter, closest to the door as you begin to open the materials. While doing so, you felt eyes on your form. This makes you turn unconsciously towards the source looking dead set at you. It felt as though he was staring harder than usual. Weirdly enough, it looks like he was…happy? That interpretation was probably very incorrect. But as you approached to observe how you would administer the medicine, there was a gut feeling that you were right. 
The initial dilemma of administering the sedative was the location. ‘Which area would be low risk…?’ The drug had to be administered in his veins, so it could act the fastest. Your two choices were between the leg or arm. ‘
You regard his legs, which were twisted up in a complex fashion in the confining jacket. It would be a high risk to try to tackle that mess to get to one leg. There’s a chance that both legs could get free. He could kick the fuck out of you and try to get out of the room. No bueno. So, the arm it is. 
You look to the nearest arm, on his right side. It’s still a risk, but a better option, since the straight jacket was easier to navigate. Time was of the essence and you had already spent ample time regarding the situation. Excited at the thought of relaxing at your station, you grab his right arm and disassemble the jacket slightly to get to it. His biceps felt strong and smooth underneath. It was nice and a little distracting. A warm fuzzy feeling gathers in your abdomen. Pressing on, you ignore that odd feeling. Now's not the time to notice attractive things about a very dangerous patient. 
Pulling the arm from the jacket, you're surprised that it drops limp onto the mattress. Maybe David gave him a quick sedative while wrestling him? Something to where he couldn’t move fast? Pondering about that doesn’t matter. Getting him fully knocked out was the end goal. You move back to wash and sanitize your hands and some equipment. You manipulate the syringe to slowly take up the medicine. Placing the needle on top, you screw it on and flick the tube to rid of any air bubbles. During the preparation, you could still feel those heavy eyes watching you. Turning back, with the medicine ready, you steel yourself. Sliding towards the Shape, you grab his limp arm.
If you could rewind time, you would have taken the time to question David about all the details of their scuffle. Namely, if he was able to give a quick sedative to Michael before leaving the room. Because suddenly, he grabs your hand, twisting it painfully. You yelp, trying to pull your hand away from his painful grip. As you pull, he lets go, causing you to stumble and drop the medication. Onto the fucking mattress. He grabs it and uses his thumb to bend the needle and crushes the syringe in his palm like it was nothing. The clear liquid sedative leaks from his fist.
You stand awkwardly against the wall. This was terrifying. You want to scream, but your vocal chords stopped working. You mentally yell at your legs to ‘RUN!’ but, your legs are like mush. While your chance to escape was escaping right in front of you, Michael tore off the rest of the jacket. Those jackets are thick and he rips into it easily. Now both his hands were free. The Shape takes those long fingers to tear at the mess around his legs.
It seems like now your dumb legs want to run. You attempt to scramble to the door, but Michael magically grabs you and throws you onto the bed. Fuck. Now, he’s at the door, free to do whatever he likes. And it seems that the first target is you. Your teary eyes stare horrifically at his tall form. His stoic facial expression slowly warps into a small smile. 
You say nothing. Just staring at him, in survival mode to see what he would do next. Maybe, you could dart past him when he moves? But he moves first, twisting slightly to grab that key you sat on the counter. He calmly lifts it and places it on top of the highest cabinet in the room. There is no way you could reach that. Michael stalks forward and in turn you scrunch your eyes closed. You did not want to watch your last moments play out.  
You feel him firmly clasping your arms. It makes you tense and squeak. But nothing happens. A few seconds go by and he's still holding your arm. Actually, he isn't even hurting you. Confused, you flutter your eyes open to look up at Michael, who was looming over you with an unreadable expression. His hands awkwardly slither down your forearms, down to your wrists. He holds the left one in place, and lifts your right hand. He expertly and quickly adjusts his hands around your wrist for more mobility. He pulls your hand and places it on his crotch. Your eyes widen, and his dick pulsates under your palm.
Okay, what the fuck was going on?! Were you going to die?! Where’d this come from?
The absurdity of the situation finally made you speak, “Michael…” You meant for that to be questioning, instead it sounded…pleading? Forthcoming?
He leans forwards, his handsome face coming towards you. His face is blank as he connects his lips to your forehead. ‘Did..he just kiss me?’  Could you even say it was really a kiss? It’s more of a placement of  lips to your forehead. A few seconds pass before he pushes his lips out. You couldn’t even hear the smack. Just feeling soft lips wetting your forehead. Now you're very confused. He is exceedingly soft for an emotionless killer. 
Michael lowers himself to the bed, never taking his eyes off your face. It's unnerving the way he stares at you. What will he do next?
You didn’t have to wonder long, as he takes his hands from your wrists and brings it to your breast. He squeezes experimentally and starts playing with them. Good lord, you were getting sexually assaulted by this awkward ass serial killer. His awkwardness made you want to take over and show him what to do.
Wait, whoa, no. You should feel like going home, out of here, to safety. You did not want this to continue, no matter how his pretty blue eyes looked at your face. He really was handsome though. And those hands felt so good squeezing your eager breast. 
Fuckkkk noooo. No, you were not going to form a weird complex about this man, this monster. You’ve seen how weird those white fangirls were to these killers online, you were not going to go down like this. During your quick morality freak out, you remember that your palm was still on his dick. You start to pull away, but Michael stops. Then you stop. He takes his hands and makes sure to firmly replace your hand on his crotch. So scary. In an effort to try to ensure your survival, you decided to just play along to his exploration. 
You circle your palm, feeling his cock continuously jump. And jump. And jump. You squeeze and feel just how thick he was. Damn. This man was packing. It made you feel hot. ‘Okay stick to the plan,’ you can’t get distracted. You continue as he plays with your breast. He breathes heavily as he comes closer, kissing your forehead again. Making your body and mind feel all confused. This continues for some time, before Michael stops and rips your scrub top open. 
Your boobs pop out, slightly spilling over the old bra you should have thrown away long ago. You gasp as you look down at your ruined shirt. Looking back up, you see those beautiful blue eyes widen, mesmerized by your breast. He looks up at your face, watching your reaction. It felt hypnotizing being looked at with such desire. Michael studies your breast again. It was beginning to feel torturous with him just looking and doing nothing. It’s making you antsy. And it got to the point where you took his hands and put it on your breast. 
This surprises Michael, who ardently caresses the exposed skin in apparent apprehension. You sigh at his touch, fingers interestingly soft for a killer like him. Before you could begin to question your recent actions, he pulls down your bra. Your nipples harden, now exposed to the world inside Michaels’ eyes. Not hesitant any longer, Michael replaces his hand onto your breast and begins to play. You sigh in pleasure at the lovely kneading he was giving. 
But, you want more. The rest of your body began to feel neglected,the desire running through your veins asking for more pleasure. This made you reach for the bottom of his shirt and place your hands under it to rub his abs. Which were heavenly. Every groove of hard muscle excites you more. Your exploration leads you to squeeze his pecs and pinch his nipples. 
Michael is a bit startled by your newfound enthusiasm. But, he was not going to stop your actions. It looks as though he enjoys this new sensation of being touched so gently, his eyes becoming half-lidded in response. Michael’s handsome self has such kissable lips. It spurs you to think about showing him what a real kiss is supposed to be like.
You lean towards his face to plant a kiss on those pink lips. Michael stops, eyes wide from this sensation. You end the kiss and lean back slightly, observing in glee how awkwardly surprised he is. It makes you desire him even more. Kissing him again, you begin to give him a personal tutorial. The man is a quick learner, which is proven when he starts kissing back. It's a bit of a mess of lips colliding, but it starts to tighten up quickly. 
Your moist tongue licks the bottom of his lips slowly, asking for permission inside. He opens his mouth slightly. You thank whoever was caring for him today that his breath smelled fresh. Your tongue enters his mouth and you start to guide your tongue into his mouth. It's a couple of pulses before his tongue slides with yours. Finally, you two were making out. Interchanging between pecks, long kisses, and tongue caressing made you wetter than ever. You could sense the heat pooling in your panties. 
You weren't the only one wet, as you pull away to look at Michaels’ crotch. There lies a big wet stain on the pants of one leg, where his dick uncomfortably pulsed. You wanted him inside you so badly. So so badly. The outline of his big dick makes you moan softly. Michaels ears pick up the sexy sound, making his cock pulse fiercely. He backs up, jumping off of the mattress. You watch in interest to what he does next.
Thankfully for you, he strips his clothing, baring his whole body to you. ‘Oh my god’. It was a crime that a man this dangerious looks so fucking fine. His arms hold bulging biceps that make you drool. The muscles on his long torso are marvelous. His breasts look juicy and abs hard as a rock. Good lord. Your eyes travel down to brown curled wisps that adorned his crotch. His dick was standing prettily between his luscious legs. His pre-cum dripping from his pink head, pooling onto the mattress. Bringing yourself forward, you start crawling seductively on all fours towards him. You make sure to emphasize your hips as you do so. Your head is level with his dick. Through your pretty eyelashes, you look up. He looks down, waiting for you to do whatever you want. You bring your lips to the head and experimentally lick. His cock bounces back onto your tongue, pre cum spilling onto your tastebuds. He tenses in surprise.
You lick around his head and lower your mouth around his dick.He clenches his fist. You go as far down as you can, slightly choking on the amazing girth and length of his cock. He makes a strange strangled noise. You stay there, nostrils flaring as you breathe through your nose. You wait until you feel the saliva gather in your mouth before starting to suck his dick. You start bobbing, the sounds of saliva slushing as you move and suck. Michael curls his toes, and moans low.  Luscious lips cover his cock, saliva drips onto the mattress, on your face, and moves down your neck as you continue. The amount of saliva produced was ludicrous, often causing you to spit more out onto his cock.
Michael could not take this any longer. He brings his hands to your hair and pulls back gently. While your head is bent back, he observes the state of your gorgeous face. Strings of saliva sit upon your face, under your nose and across the bottom half of your cheeks. It's an alluring sight. He bends down to kiss you, bringing his tongue straight into your mouth. The taste of himself doesn’t phase him.
He takes his hands and pushes you back onto the bed, back hitting the mattress. Michael quickly rids you of your pants and panties in one go. You lay there, legs slightly open to give Michael a teasing view.He looks at your pussy, glistening with your wetness. It covers your inner thighs. He brings himself back onto the mattress, taking your legs and spreading them further apart. He stares at your pussy inquisitively. Then looks up at you. 
He does nothing as he interchanges his view of your face and your vagina. This again. It was getting frustating and you were ready to be fucked. 
“Touch me…rub it, please...” you beg. Michael obliges, taking his fingers and rubs right onto the mysterious button poking out at him. It makes you tense up and moan loudly. He quickly rubs it again, addicted to the sounds you were making. You keep moaning, instructing him to put a finger inside. 
It slides inside and its bliss. You plead for more. He adds a second finger, causing your opening to stretch. The moisture inside squelches as he twists. He experimentally rubs around, feeling the soft bumpy inside on your canal. Each movement makes you go crazier, your breath is heavy. 
You scoot away, not wanting his fingers in you anymore. You want something much bigger.
 “I want you inside me,” you state seductively. 
His eyebrows raise. He sits up, cock in full view. You position yourself, legs behind your head ready for missionary. He enters and you both gasp. Michael scrunches his eyebrows while yours raises. The feeling was delicious. He starts moving, eyes desperately glued to your face. The faces you were making were erotic, burning into his memory. Michael didn’t want to miss a moment. Continuous strokes make your soul sing. His cock digs deeper, making you whine. Michael switches his angle and it sends you over. You climax, vagina spasming on his dick. Michael is mesmerized by your intense reaction. 
He doesnt cum, purposefully. He wants to watch you climax beautifully more. It will make his release intense. Michael backs up and leaves the bed. With his strength, he lifts you and places you against the door. Your face and arms smush against the door as he lifts your legs. Michael lines himself up and starts fucking you. His strokes reverberate through your body, causing the door to vibrate. It was then that you remembered where you were. You cover your mouth with one hand to stifle your whines. It’s a challenge, considering Michael is becoming an expert at sex.
It’s still a real struggle to hold everything in as he fucks your second orgasm of the evening. Your eyes roll back and you try to breathe through. Michael pulls out and lifts you back to the bed, plopping your form down onto the mattress. He gently presses your head to the mattress and guides your bottom into the air. Oh, so he wants doggy style. Quickly, you arch your back and fix yourself in the position. Michael stared graciously at your lovely backside. He plunges himself into your heavenly canal.
Michael fucks you at a faster pace in doggystyle. The slaps from the skin contact fill the room. He grabs the back of your neck, squeezing slightly. Taking advantage of the position, you play with your clit. The pleasurable sensation builds up to your third climax. Michael allows this to be his first as you both finish at the same time. You feel Michaels’ dick pulse as he fills you up. He pulls out to watch his semen glide out of your pink hole. 
Satisfied and sore, you fall onto your side. He sits back onto the bed as you catch your breath. You look over and he's observing you. The side of his mouth quirks up in a small smirk. He almost looks happy. Before you could register that interesting reaction, Michael gets up. You twist to watch as he walks over to the top cabinet and gets the key. He places it on the counter. Calmly, The Shape walks back and relaxes on his bed. Taking this as a cue, you get up. However, your legs are jelly. It feels ridiculous trying to hobble over to the counter. During your tumultuous journey, you gather what’s left of your clothes. The pants and panties were in good condition. You note that you had your bra on your body the whole time. But…your shirt. Ah!
Thankfully, you remember that there's extra shirts in a drawer in his room.After pulling down the white shirt, you turn to look at him again.
What could you say? Thanks for the mind blowing sex? You got me a little obsessed? He looks deceptively docile sitting there. His eyes tell you that he wants you to stay. But…you couldn’t. Although you wish you could, so you wouldn’t have to face the reality of what you’ve done. In the meantime, you decide to  approach him, giving him one last kiss on the lips. Gathering the energy to leave, you collect what materials you could and make your way out. You give one last look to your new lover. Even though you leave physically, you know that you’re mentally hooked.
115 notes · View notes
bleachification · 1 year
Text
a platonic paradox
pairing: grimmjow x reader
warnings: swearing lol thats it
summary: He loves me... he loves me not… he loves me... he... is an emotionally constipated Arrancar with less than desirable social skills and a pension for jealousy. What could possibly go wrong?
Tumblr media
One… two… three… four… five shots later, and reality finally starts to blur at the edges. Fuzzier and fuzzier, the strobe lights turn as they cut across blackened space, glowing in feverish haste. 
Maybe drinking on an empty stomach isn’t the greatest of your ideas, but no one’s coined you as a genius thus far, and you certainly never claimed to be one. Plus, you have a valid reason for knocking back a row of tequila: men. Or, more specifically, one man who goes by the name Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez—the bane of your existence and one of your closest friends. However, friend is a term you use very loosely after the earlier fight.
The mere thought of him incites another scowl from you… and a sixth shot that slides down your throat like oil in a car—smooth and familiar. 
You feel a tap on your shoulder and turn to face the person on your left—a head of ginger pops into view, only to be pushed aside by a tiny girl with an irritated yet concerned expression pasted onto her delicate features. Inoue only smiles as Rukia takes her spot next to you and inspects the row of shot glasses on the booth table in front of you. 
“You need to stop,” Rukia demands. 
You barely register her words over the thumping bass of the speakers. The club is a swarm of warm bodies, alcohol, pulsing lights, and wall-shaking music. Through the haze and humidity, you make out the DJ standing at the south end of the venue, directly opposite your booth. 
“You worry too much.” You wave your hand, dismissing Rukia. 
She tries prying the drink you just ordered from your hands but fails miserably.
“For good reason! We’re going to have to carry you home at this rate.” 
Orihime pats Rukia on the shoulder in a calming manner. It doesn’t quite work, but she tries anyway. Ever the pacifist. 
“I think Rukia’s trying to say that we’re worried about you. What exactly happened?” 
Ichigo appears from the crowd and slides in next to his fiancé, beer in hand. “Yeah, what’s going on? You called us out without explanation and started drinking like you were on a personal mission to destroy your liver.”
“I can handle my liquor.” You roll your eyes at your friends’ questioning looks. 
“Y/N,” Orihime presses. 
You groan. “Fine! Fine.”
They all wait expectantly as you down another drink. Every shot turns the world one degree mistier. 
“Grimmjow and I got into a fight,” you grit out. The words taste like gravel on your tongue. 
The three of them exchange a look. 
You frown. “What?”
“It’s just… isn’t that pretty common?” Ichigo asks. 
“No. We argue, sure, but today he… went too far. He was being an asshole—more so than usual. You’d think he’d be nicer to the person who acclimated him to human society. Stupid overgrown cat,” you huff. 
“What did he say?” Ichigo takes a swig of his beer. 
You pause. The whole argument that led to this moment was dumb. So dumb that you can’t even remember what instigated it. All you recall is the hurt washing over you at the end—a vile, sickening sensation that festered like rot in your chest because of the words Grimmjow bit out right before you walked out the door: You’re nothing special. 
In hindsight, what he said wasn’t even that awful. Yet it shredded you the moment it left his lips. Perhaps you took it so hard because you thought you were special to him—in the same way he is to you. The irritating reality is Grimmjow has grown to become one of your closest confidantes. Your best friend. To be cast aside like that… to mean nothing of importance to him… is a harsh and gutting revelation—one that sets fire to your throat and incinerates whatever affection you had left for him to absolute ash. 
“Nothing of importance,” you mutter. 
The others don’t pry any further, sensing you no longer want to talk about it. They’d be right; you don’t want to talk about it… you don’t even want to think about it, especially since the earlier alcohol-induced buzz has now morphed into full-on drunk goggles. 
“I’m gonna go dance.” You’re already halfway across the dance floor before Rukia scrambles to catch up with you. 
Orihime slides her attention over to her fiancé. “Uh. Kurosaki?”
Ichigo dials a number into his phone and brings it to his ear. “Already on it.”
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
It is 1:58 am, and Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez has never been more miserable in his entire life. Not when he was a mindless hollow, not even when he lost to Ichigo—that orange-haired freak of nature. 
No. The almighty former Espada has been reduced to a mopey mess by a mere human. And an annoying one at that. 
It’s been almost five hours since Grimmjow last heard from you. Four of them he’s spent trying to convince himself you’d come back soon like you always do—with that gentle smile on your face that he’s grown disgustingly accustomed to. 
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. 
Grimmjow clenches the phone in his hand and his arm jerks—almost chucking the device at the insufferable clock ticking in the corner. It is a constant reminder that you haven’t returned to him. He only stops himself from throwing the phone once he remembers how much the hunk of metal had cost him. 
Stupid human inventions. 
If it weren’t for the need to constantly message and call you about, well… anything really, Grimmjow would never have spent a cent on the damned thing. 
The phone clatters onto the coffee table as Grimmjow resumes his prior (pitiful) position on the couch: flat on his stomach, face down, and legs draped over the edge. 
Grimmjow frowns—pouts—into the cushions. Twenty minutes pass. Then thirty. Finally, a vibration cuts through the air. 
Someone’s calling him. 
Grimmjow jerks up and unceremoniously falls off the couch in haste to check the notification. His high hopes are immediately dashed when a familiar contact name comes into view: Prick. His shoulders slump, and he lets it ring a couple of times before lazily thumbing the screen to answer the call. 
“The hell do you want?”
“Are you busy?” Ichigo’s voice is barely perceptible amidst the deafening music blaring through the phone’s speakers. 
Grimmjow grimaces, pulling his ear away from the phone, then glances at the coffee table in front of him. A half-melted tub of chocolate ice cream stares back, a mocking reminder of his dramatics grief. Just above the sugary mess sits a large-screen TV—one currently playing a series of films that fit perfectly under the “romantic comedy” genre. 
Grimmjow turns around and faces away from the scene. Out of sight, out of mind. 
“Who do you think I am? Of course, I’m fucking busy.”
“Right… guess I’ll get Y/N home by mys—“
With keys in hand, Grimmjow is already headed out the door when he gruffly cuts Ichigo off. “Address. Now.”
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Tall, dark, and handsome wraps an arm around your waist as you sway to the suggestive beat. 
Rukia’s long gone. You lost sight of her when the crowd drew you further into the dance floor. You don’t particularly care where the shinigami went—probably back to the booth—as the alcoholic haze clouding your mind bars you from focusing on anything but the gorgeous man next to you. He leans in, clearly interested in something other than dancing, but still asks: “Would you like to dance?”
You study his features. Short black hair sweeps over honey-brown eyes that are shadowed by long lashes. He smirks, showing off a dimple on his left cheek. He’s a looker, for sure. 
Not bad at all, but nowhere near Grimmjow. 
The thought jolts you. Grimmjow has nothing to do with the person beside you. So why is it that every passing second serves as a reminder of him?
You shake those useless thoughts away and plaster a lazy smile on your face. You pull the stranger towards you and wrap your arms around his neck as you move to the beat. He presses up against you, forehead on yours. His lips are millimetres from yours, and his lidded gaze glitters with desire. You welcome it. 
For once, you’re lost to the dizzying heat and drunken thrills of the night, and you’re ready to get lost in the arms of a stranger—someone who, hopefully, will distract you from the man plaguing every dark corner of your mind. 
A tilt of the chin brings you closer to him. He leans in, and you close your eyes, ready for a welcome distraction. But before your lips can meet, the man across from you is harshly yanked back, and a flurry of familiar voices bombards you from all directions. 
You blink twice, trying to take in the scene before you. 
Firstly, Grimmjow is here. He’s clutching so tightly onto your poor dance partner’s shoulder that it’s a miracle his collarbone hasn’t shattered. The guy looks terrified… and for a good reason. Grimmjow is pissed. Hell, even that would be an understatement. An air of rage so heavy you almost mistake it for spiritual pressure ripples off him in waves. His normally cavalier expression is distorted. Gone are his usual smirks or annoyed scowls. In their place sits a mask of absolute crazed, seething fury. If looks could kill, this whole club would be home to a mountain of corpses by now. 
Secondly, the shouts you hear originate from Ichigo and the two girls; all three are trying to push through the crowd to make it to you and the blue-haired psychopath before you. Thanks to the dark atmosphere, overbearing music, and the fact you’re all in an isolated corner of the club, no one else seems to notice the complete disaster unfolding before your eyes. 
Ichigo breaks through the sea of people and immediately hooks his arms under Grimmjow’s. It takes almost all his strength to drag the Arrancar back a metre or two. 
Ichigo struggles to keep Grimmjow at bay. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“I’ll kill you after I get my hands on him. Fucking let go!” Grimmjow pulls free from Ichigo’s grasp and steps toward the other man. 
That split second snaps you to attention, and you run to block him. In less than a second, you’re in front of the other guy and facing a murderous Grimmjow; arms spread out in a protective stance. You wobble a bit and curse yourself for getting this inebriated. 
Grimmjow freezes. The look in his eyes—a strange mixture of annoyance, hurt, and unfathomable anger—makes you uneasy. 
“What, pray tell, are you doing?” You mentally high-five yourself for not slurring your words. It isn’t easy in your current state. 
Grimmjow scoffs. “You’re actually protecting this guy?”
Said guy peeps up with: “Look, I’m sorry. Didn’t realize you had a partner.”
You turn to him and scrunch your nose. “I am not his partner.”
Grimmjow makes a snarling sound behind you. 
You whip back towards him. “And you. Are you insane?! Why the hell would you do that?”
Grimmjow shifts closer. You have to tilt your head up to glare at him. His breath fans your face as he answers. 
“He put his hands on you. You think I’m just gonna let that shit slide?” He’s speaking low. Rough. Dangerous. 
You open your mouth to retort, only to find yourself dangling upside down from Grimmjow’s shoulder. He just hauled you up like a sack of flour. 
This bastard. 
As if on instinct, you immediately start wiggling in his grasp and thumping on his back, yelling at him to put you down. The struggling only drives him to tighten his hold on you as he marches the two of you out the club doors. 
“Keep doing that, and I’ll drop you.”
Bastard move. 
“Put me down!” You let out a yell in irritation. Grimmjow pretends not to hear you. 
From your peripheral vision, you catch sight of Rukia, followed by the other two, scrambling to catch up. Orihime apologizes profusely to the bouncer at the door for the commotion caused by the man carrying you. 
“Ichigo, help!” 
Ichigo only shakes his head in disappointment as Grimmjow increases his pace. 
Traitor. 
Maybe it’s the liquid courage. Or perhaps it’s because you’ve finally lost it, but you raise a hand and land a hard smack on Grimmjow’s ass. 
He stiffens. “What the f-“
“I’ll do it again if you don’t put me down this instant, you goddamn psychopath,” you warn. 
Instead of complying, he shifts you until you’re being carried in his arms bridal-style. He just cut off your accessibility to his ass. Although you can’t ponder that disappointment for too long, the realization of what he’s about to do dawns on you when he takes a slow step backward. 
“Grimmjow, don’t you dare-“Your own shriek cuts you off as he rips through the air and propels you toward the sky. You can only tighten your hold on his neck and bury your face in his shoulder as biting winds whip around you at the speed of light. Despite the cool night air, Grimmjow is warm to the touch. In less than five seconds, you’re staring at the front door of his apartment. 
The son of a bitch just sonido-ed you across the city. 
Grimmjow finally puts you down as he fishes the keys from his pocket. The whole time he hasn’t said a single word to you. 
“Why are we here?” You reluctantly follow him into the familiar unit. 
He has his back turned to you. Broad shoulders hunch over as he removes his shoes. Three seconds later, he flops onto the couch while running a hand down his face, quietly letting out a sigh of exhaustion and a hint of something else. 
You sit in the spot next to him and pull your legs up. You shift until you’re facing him and only inches away. 
You poke him in the stomach. It’s a habit you have that Grimmjow complains about constantly, but he never actually takes any action to stop it. 
“Hey. Answers. Now,” you interrogate. 
He lazily peeks at you; head still lolled back on the back of the couch. Grimmjow moves and his shifting weight causes you to dip forward. Typically, you’d be able to straighten yourself up. However, drunk you has precisely zero sense of balance, so you topple right into Grimmjow’s lap. 
Grimmjow almost jumps out of his skin at the unexpected contact. You feel your cheeks flame up in embarrassment as you try to push yourself back up, only to lose your balance again and fall back against him. Your face presses up against his stomach, and the heat clouds all your senses. You feel even drunker than before. 
“For fucks sake.” Tired of your struggling, Grimmjow pulls you up until you’re sat in his lap and face-to-face with him. You try to ignore the fact that you’re basically straddling him. You really try to ignore his hands resting on the side of your thighs. The contact causes something within you to flare up—an unsettling feeling you push away to the furthest corner of your mind. 
“Well, this is nice. We’ve reached a new level of friendship now,” you snort. Thankfully, your stable tone doesn’t betray your wavering nerves. 
Grimmjow’s jaw tenses. “Right. Friendship.” 
You almost reel back. He spits that last part out like it is laced with poison. A sting of disappointment shoots through you, and you move to get off him. Right now, you want to be as far away from him as possible in fear of Grimmjow seeing the tears that have begun to prick the back of your eyes. 
If he hates being your friend that badly, then there’s no way he’d ever reciprocate… 
“Hey. You crying?”
To your surprise, Grimmjow grabs you by the hips and pulls you back, caging his huge arms around you to prevent you from escaping. His eyebrows furrow as he leans in to examine your face. You muster up every ounce of willpower to suck the tears back into the confines of your eyelids. 
“You look like a bug,” Grimmjow murmurs. 
You pinch his cheek with a scowl, mind briefly wiped of your previous grievances. 
“Bastard.”
He doesn’t even flinch. “You stopped crying.”
“I never started,” you retort. 
He makes a noncommittal noise. 
“What?”
He grunts, eyes still fixated on your own. “Trying to figure out why you ran away.”
You gape at him. He has to be kidding. Right?
“Okay, first of all, I did not run away; I left because you pissed me off. Second of all, are you serious? 
Your exasperation only fuels his confusion. Grimmjow’s face scrunches, and he tilts his head only slightly, but enough to emphasize how baffled he is by this whole situation. 
You falter. This whole night you have agonized over his words, never once considering that he may not find fault in what he said. Maybe he never intended to hurt you and only meant to state a fact: that you simply don’t mean anything special to him.
Do you occupy such a minuscule part of his heart? Given that he takes up all the space you have to offer in yours, it is an unnecessarily cruel twist of fate.
You steel yourself. Grimmjow is your friend. Nothing less… and certainly nothing more. He has drawn that line very clearly—in bright, irreversible red. 
“Forget it. It’s nothing,” you murmur.
He shoots you a look; he doesn’t believe you. “Oi. Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not lying,” you insist. 
His eyes narrow, and he slowly drawls your name. Irritation coats the word like honey as he presses you for a different answer. 
With a shake of your head, you cement your refusal to budge. Nothing good could come from that conversation, and you would rather suffer in silence than lose Grimmjow as a friend—which is the only outcome you can fathom. 
“I… it doesn’t matter. Not like you’d care.” The last part is practically inaudible to the human ear. Unfortunately for you, Grimmjow’s senses are anything but human. 
He stiffens, looking like he’d just been slapped hard. “What the fuck are you on about? Who told you that? I’ll kill ‘em.”
“No one told me Grimmjow… no one other than you, at least. It’s obvious you don’t care to be friends anymore,” you scoff and look away, too anxious to meet his eyes. 
Every single muscle of Grimmjow’s goes rigid. You sneak a glance at him and pause at the storm brewing in his gaze. Tides of emotions threaten to overwhelm one another, but at the forefront of the tumultuous battle flashes an intensity you are very familiar with: desperation. 
Grimmjow tips his chin down, lessening the gap between your faces… and lips. What comes out of his mouth next scarcely breaks above a whisper, but the words themselves bear a threatening weight. 
“Obvious to who? Because last time I checked, you’re the only human I ever speak to willingly, the only person whose touch I don’t find repulsive, and the only one who can mouth off to me in my own damn house and not die for it. So tell me, Y/N, who is that obvious to? Because it sure as hell ain’t me,” he snarls. 
You blink. That sobers you up. Any and all words dying in your throat as you take in everything. You only manage to find your voice again after a minute of deliberation. 
“Then why did you say that I wasn’t special? You’re giving me mixed signals here,” you whisper. 
Realization dawns on him like an iron curtain as your response dwindles in the hushed air. He shifts again. This time, switching his grip on your thigh to the curve of your waist. His hands settle firmly, yet gently, on your side, and the warmth resonates through your bloodstream, making it increasingly difficult to focus on the present situation. You try anyway. 
“Is that why you ran away?”
You roll your eyes. “I didn't run.”
He shrugs. “My bad. Is that why you abandoned me?”
For a split second, Grimmjow’s sulking reminds you of a kicked puppy.  A crass, six-foot-one puppy with blue fur and murderous tendencies. Your fingers twitch with an almost overwhelming desire to run them through his hair. You settle for flicking him in the forehead instead. 
“Don’t be so dramatic. You’re acting like I fled the country rather than go to a club ten minutes away.” You absently brush a stray strand of his hair aside, not thinking much of it. Grimmjow, however, sucks in a sharp breath and you pause as a glint of something flits across his gaze… something intimate. 
A trick of the light, surely. 
 “You–” Speech morphs to muffled protests as you press a hand to Grimmjow’s mouth, effectively cutting off whatever he was going to say. 
“You still owe me some answers,” you remark.
“Mmm… to what?” He’s getting sleepier; the lull in his voice is a clear indication. Warmth blooms across your skin as Grimmjow droops forward and nestles his head into the crook of your shoulder, leaning into you as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. 
“How about why you ruined my perfectly good night out?” You feel his head turn, breath hot like coals against your neck. A chill shoots down your spine at the slight contact, and you ignore the tingling sensation in your stomach that feels an awful lot like butterflies—millions and millions of them. 
He scowls. “What, you’re that upset over not seeing lover boy again?” His arms tighten around you, “You could’ve had a better night with me. Here. Like this.” 
You draw in a sharp breath as his forehead meets yours. Space is a minuscule concept now as his face hovers mere centimetres from yours. Your mind swims with a torrent of mixed feelings and thoughts. 
“Grimmjow…”
“I’m sorry.”
You blink. “Huh?”
“For what I said. I didn’t mean it—any of it. Swear on my life.” His voice is strained, as if not used to the taste of those words on his tongue. 
You want to believe him, truly. But the emotional, irrational side of you forsakes that possibility. 
You’re nothing special. 
The knife in your heart, previously forgotten, now twists again as you recall his words. For a brief second, you wonder if it would be better to feel nothing at all. To bear an empty chest, much like the hollow hole carved into the Arrancars. Perhaps that’s what you need—to lose your heart and live as they do, void of all sensations that make up human nature. 
“It’s fine, Grimmjow. You don’t… experience things like I do. It’s not your fault I got upset over such a trivial matter,” you sigh. 
He pulls back, something akin to guilt and shock shuttering across his handsome face. “So I did hurt you.”
You swallow, unsure how to face this new vulnerability of his. 
“Tell me how to fix this. How to fix us,” he pleads.
“There is no us,” you say. The distance between you and Grimmjow is practically nonexistent, yet you find yourself unable to face him. 
“Bullshit,” he spits. 
You shake your head, a migraine already forming in its center. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Grimmjow. I can never seem to understand what you want!” Your anger rises with each sentence, but you don’t stop and let the emotion fuel you, “I saw us as friends. Best friends. But then you go and act like I’m nothing to you, only to turn around and get all pissy like a fucking cat marking its territory when I dare spend my night with someone who isn’t you. So for the love of god, what do you want from me?!”
“I want you.”
Your head snaps up. “What?”
“Next to me, in my bed in the morning, in my arms. Wherever I am, whenever it is… I want you with me,” he states plainly. Too casual, acting as if he didn’t just drop the biggest bomb on you, wiping every semblance of your anger away with pure, unbridled shock. 
You ignore your racing pulse and focus on the intensity of his gaze instead. “You don’t believe in romance. You told me that.”
“I didn’t believe in many things before I met you.” He presses a searing kiss to the inside of your palm before leaning into it, your touch a familiar comfort. 
“Like what?”
Heaven. Home. Love, probably.
He grunts. “Secret.”
“That’s not fair,” you tease. The hope rising within you gives way to giddiness and a whole new sensation: relief. 
Grimmjow wants you the same way you want him. Perhaps even more so. 
“What’s not fair is being iced out for a whole day while waiting for you, only to witness that thing wrapped around you like some fucking parasite.”
“He was not a parasite.”
“Looked like one to me. Ugly. Small. Easy to step on.”
“You called me a bug earlier. Doesn’t that mean we’re meant to be?” You’re torturing him at this point. It's incredibly amusing. 
Grimmjow’s eyes darken. Two slits of obsidian that burn with jealousy and something else under the surface. Something even more dangerous. 
“Say that again.”
You only laugh. It is a light sound that eases the tension in both the air and Grimmjow’s shoulders. He’s missed your laugh—craves it more than a drowning man would for air. 
After a few seconds longer, he inevitably feels his lips pull upwards into a crooked smile—a special kind that appears solely in your presence. 
Your giggles falter into a faint smile when you notice Grimmjow smirking at you. He absently draws circles on your hip with his fingers, lazily tracing the curve of your back as you ask: “What exactly are we?”
“Dunno,” he half-mumbles, too preoccupied with snuggling into your neck. 
You let out a soft chuckle as his hair tickles your cheek. “Grimmjow.”
He groans, the sound reverberating against the skin of your collarbone—the place his mouth presses against. ”Does it matter? You’re mine. I’m yours. All I care about.”
“This won’t be easy,” you say. 
“Yeah, well, I signed up for you, which is anything but easy. So don’t worry,” he pulls back slightly so that you’re both face to face. “I know exactly what I’m getting myself into. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
You barely register Grimmjow’s words before he leans in and roughly kisses you. 
And it is the best damn kiss of your life. 
711 notes · View notes
mjolnirswriststrap · 4 months
Text
Haunted
Tumblr media
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Masterlist
Word Count: 977
Summary: Part 5/6. The knock at the door isn’t who you expected.
Warnings: None.
“Friday, what’s our eta?” Steve yells out, too anxious to control his voice. “Five minutes.”. That wasn’t fast enough for him. Two days ago he was fighting his best friend on a bridge, now some intern is saying he’s in Austria. How did he get here so fast?
“Calm down, we got this.” Natasha gives him a reassuring look. “I know, but it’s Bucky, he acted like he didn’t remember me, what if I can’t get through to him?”
Natasha feels for her friend, but she can’t imagine what he’s going through. The guy Steve described couldn’t be the winter soldier they’d come to know. Something was afoot but they just don’t have all the pieces yet.
“I haven’t been here since I lost him, it hasn’t changed.” He says looking at the snow capped mountains. They see the clearing they designated for landing just ahead of them. Steve squeezes Natasha’s hand giving her one last terrified look.
They land and it was like any other mission, Black Widow and Captain America working perfectly in tandem. Steve swept the woods east of the helicopter, while Nat wordlessly cleared the west side. They met in the middle, facing south, Steve cocked his head towards the tiny clouds of smoke coming from behind a wall a trees.
You can’t even hear their foot steps in the snow as they sneak their way towards the cabin. You and Bucky didn’t hear a thing as you huddled low in the kitchen, it was the closest you’d been to him, maybe it was his military experience telling him what to do, or it was his natural instinct to keep you safe from whatever was outside.
You tightly held on to Bucky, your face buried in his shoulder. “He found me! I knew I shouldn’t have called Darcy.” You begin to cry, why couldn’t you just be free. You hear a knock at the cabin door and your body freezes. Bucky has his right arm tightly wrapped around you, keeping you close. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”.
You look into his icy blue eyes and you know what he said was a promise. You nod to him as he lets go of you and stands. He cautiously walks to the door, peering out of the window. All Bucky can see is two shadows through the frosted glass. He opens the door, holding his breath, waiting for a fight.
When he’s greeted by the face of his nightmare his heart skips a beat, which is odd, he hadn’t really felt it since he woke up in the snow. “Steve?”, he looks between his friends squinted eyes.
“Buck?” Steve sounds like his heart is breaking. Bucky watches as his eyes soften, this isn’t the Steve from his dream, he wasn’t out to kill him. Without another word Bucky crosses over the threshold, bear hugging his best friend. He doesn’t let go, even when the red headed woman beside them clears her throat.
You waddle to the front door and peak your head around the corner. It wasn’t who you expected. Bucky was squeezing the life out of Captain America, while Black Widow stood there looking utterly in shock.
Steve finally returns Bucky’s hug, understanding this isn’t the same man from the bridge. Bucky releases his friend for a second to say, “I thought I’d never see you again.”.
You never seen two grown men cry before. But here they were, Bucky sobbing into his friends shoulder while Steve stood there letting the tears fall down his cheeks. “It’s really you Bucky?” Steve can’t believe it.
“Why wouldn’t it be?” Bucky relents from the hug. Steve looks into his teary eyes, “You don’t remember fighting on the bridge?”.
“My last fight was with you, on the train. I’ve been here ever since.” Bucky feels his heart again, but this time it’s racing. What could Steve possibly be talking about? He’d never fought on a bridge.
“You need to come with us.” The red headed woman said, pointing between you and Bucky. Your eyebrows raise, how were you getting out of this one?
“She’s not going anywhere.” Bucky finally looks away from his friend, now keeping his promise to you. He gives the black widow a murderous look. “There’s the winter soldier!” She says, taping Steve and pointing at Bucky’s face. She was done with today, this was not what she expected.
“Not funny, Nat.” Steve says, giving her a shameful look. He leans past Bucky, into the house. “You really do need to come with us, we can explain on the flight back.”.
With orders from Captain America you’re nodding your head. You couldn’t fight him on this, whatever he had going on was far more important than your disgust for New York. You grab your phone from the kitchen counter, pulling on your thick winter jacket. “Yes, sir.”.
Bucky gives you a look, silently asking if this really was okay. You give him a small smile, this was out of your hands now, you were just along for the ride.
You all packed into the helicopter, no words were exchanged between you as you lifted off from the ground. Your head was spinning, this might be too much for you to handle, but you had to push through, you couldn’t imagine how weird this is for Bucky or Captain America.
You lean your head against the window, letting your eyes close. The adrenaline is gone, leaving you exhausted. Right when you feel yourself drift off to sleep, you hear the woman say “Where did he go?” You look around the small cabin, Bucky’s seat was empty, no indentation showing that he was even there.
You look between the two Avengers, they looked to you for answers. “Did I mention to Darcy that I think he’s a ghost?” You say, scratching the top of your head.
73 notes · View notes
ughgoaway · 4 months
Note
you know how much i love sickfics 😭 and also it’s entirely plausible that girlie always gets sick when school first starts (source: bfs a teacher. also source: kids are germ factories)
anyway yes thinking of matty being very fucking sweet and caring when they’ve only newly started dating 😭 and taking care of girlie (maybe annie had the same thing a few weeks ago so he feels like an expect now lol) and even tho reader insists she’s fine, she’ll get over it with a good nights rest, he refuses to let her do it on her own (he is a proper mother hen now after all)
Oh, the love for sick fics is so real. I yearn to baby this grown man and also to be looked after by him.
Kids are such fucking germ factories, it's CRAZY. All they know how to do is be sick and perpetually sticky. So it's 100% possible you are getting SICK, especially if it's something that's been spreading through your class. 
Annie was out last week, and she's been back 2 days when you start feeling a bit rough. Matty shows up to drop Annie off and notices your red-rimmed eyes and pink nose. He sends Annie in with a kiss on the head and walks over to talk to you properly.
No one is within earshot, so Matty can talk to you the way he wants, “Hi sweetheart, are you feeling okay? You don't look like yourself”  he goes to stroke your arm, but he catches himself before he does.
You guys are together, but the school doesn't know anything yet, so he has to act normal, despite the constant urge to touch you however he can.
You pout and Matty has to fight the smile at how cute you are, “oh wow that's just what you want to hear from your new boyfriend” you tease, smiling and giggling but then launching into a chesty cough from speaking.
“Oh baby, have you got the same thing Annie had? She had the same cough and runny nose,” Matty speaks softly and has to fight the urge to scoop you into a hug. 
“I think I'm starting to, but it's Friday so I  figure I'll just quarantine myself in my flat for the weekend and I'll be fine by Monday.” You wave him off and drop your hand back to your side, but not before brushing yours and Matty’s fingers together subtly. You could see the worry in his eyes and were desperate to reassure him you were okay. 
“Well, Annie is going up to my mum's this weekend so I can come and look after you if you want?” Before Matty can even finish asking, you are shaking your head. 
Even the movement of shaking your head has you feeling dizzy and nauseous and you stumble slightly on the spot, matty of course acts like you had just thrown yourself to the floor and grabbed your arm to steady you. 
“I'm fine, really. Enjoy your weekend off” You smile softly at Matty, but he doesn't look convinced. But before he can protest further, a parent walks over, and he has to rip his hand from your arm. 
////////
It's Saturday night, and Matty hasn't heard from you all day. He had texted asking how you were doing and if you needed anything, but he was met with radio silence. So he took it upon himself to come over. 
He knocks on your door and hears rustling behind it, and soon a pile of blankets emerges, and Matty has to assume you are under there somewhere.
“Hello?” You croak out, and Matty almost crumbles on the spot. He walks in and shuts the door behind him before pulling you into a tight hug.
He feels you breathe him in and your growing smile against his chest, “Matty.” You whisper and burrow closer. You hadn't realised how comforting his scent was, and you already felt more at ease.
But a chesty and slightly wet cough pulls you from the hug, and Matty has to hide his grimace at how rough you sound.
“Oh darling, you sound awful. And you're burning up.” You pout as he feels your forehead, and he then places his palms on your flushed cheeks. 
“Can't be burning up, I'm freezing. And my chest feels heavy” you mumble as you snuggle back into his chest, matty rubs up and down your back - or at least he thinks it's your back. The pile of blankets makes it hard to tell.
It's then he goes into mother hen mode, “Right we need to get you out of these sweaty clothes and into the shower. The steam will help your breathing and hopefully make you feel a bit better.” Matty starts walking to your shower, and you shuffle behind him weakly protesting. 
“Ah ah ah. No excuses, baby. It's time for me to look after you. Now strip.” he reaches into your shower and flicks it on, putting some towels on your radiator to heat them up, ready for when you're done. 
You can't help but tease Matty, hoping he’ll forget about the whole sick thing and just let you sleep for the next 24 hours, “ooh kinky. Yes sir” you faux salute and wink at Matty. But any flirty behaviour was quickly wasted when you started hacking up a lung and shivering at the same time. 
“Don't you ‘yes sir’ me, just let me help you, sweet girl. Please?” his pout and soft eyes get you, and you start shedding blankets, and your shivering intensifies. 
You step into the shower and hiss at the hot water, somehow still shaking even under the scorching water. You look back at Matty, who is watching you with worried eyes.
You decide then and there to give up any dignity you had left and let yourself be looked after. 
“Get in with me?” Matty looks at you suspiciously, and you quickly clarify, “No funny business, I swear. I just want you close to me.” Your sad, quiet voice has Matty shedding his clothes quickly, getting in and pulling you back onto his chest.
You rest your head on his shoulder and let out a sigh at the feeling of him behind you. Matty grabs your body wash and squirts it in his hands, lathering them together before slowly working them over your body. 
It's not sensual or sexual in any way. It's just pure love and care. He moves from your underarms to your torso, slowly working his hands over your aching body. He kneads each section carefully, pulling groans from your cracked lips.
He grabs the shower head to wet your hair and massages shampoo and conditioner into it. He grins at the soft, sleepy smile that comes across your face at the feeling of his fingers rubbing at your scalp.
After 15 minutes and an appropriate amount of steam later, Matty turns off the water and begins bundling you in the towels he had ready. Still, your teeth are chattering as you stand in the bathroom in a pile of 5 towels.
And Matty can't help but feel his heart shatter. He’s never seen you look so small and sad. He can see you're feeling really fucking ill, and honestly, the lack of fighting from you tells him all he needs to know. 
“Go sit on the bed, sweetheart, and I'll be right back” Matty walks you to your bed, and you flop back into the pile of blankets, fighting sleep as you settle in. Matty runs to the front door and grabs the bag he had dropped when he walked in earlier. 
He gets back to you and pulls out his shirt and jogging bottoms from his bag, he knew you'd want his clothes- so he came prepared.
You giggle and lift your arms up, ready for him to dress you. Matty pulls down your towel and averts his eyes from your chest, feeling weird for staring whilst you're so ill. 
You notice and pout, “You don't like my boobs?”
“No no, not that. I like them too much, babe. If I stare too long I'll get hard and it is definitely not the time for that” Matty taps your hips and slides up a pair of his boxers and jogging bottoms over your waist as you grin happily.
Your boyfriend still likes your boobs even when you're gross and ill, and that's good to know.
You flop back on the bed and watch Matty walk around and get into bed, patting the space next to him for you to settle into. 
“Mmm, you'll look at them another time, though?” you say softly, starting to move up the bed.
Matty nods and smiles as he watches you move groggily, sniffling as you're crawling up to him.
“Good idea bringing your clothes for me. I would've stolen yours if not” you say, letting your eyes fall closed.
“Hey this isn't my first time dealing with a sick girlfriend” Matty says, and you immediately frown and open your heavy eyes. 
“Don't wanna think about you being other people's boyfriend. You're my boyfriend,” you groan, settling into your pillows and burrowing into Matty's side. 
He laughs and swings his arm around your shoulders as your legs wind together like ivy intertwining, and you bury your nose in his chest with a happy hum. 
“Don't worry, baby, I'm just your boyfriend. No one else's.” he looks down at you and feels giddy at the soft smile on your face. 
“Mmm mine” You sigh, and Matty presses a kiss to your head as you finally drift off. 
The next day, Matty still wants to play nurse, and you let him quite happily.
61 notes · View notes
sanjisblackasswife · 1 year
Text
“Reunion” Sanji x Black Fem Reader (NSFW/FLUFF) Sanji POV
Tumblr media
Word Count: 2.8k (Thank u Kazu for telling me how to figure this out lolol)
Bad Summary: After 2 years of being away, you both needed to show each other how much you missed being in the presence of your love for one another.
CW: Soft Dom! Sanji, Needy!Sanji, Eye Contact, Deep Throating, Soft Sex, Kissing, Oral Sex, Multiple Orgasms, Tongue Sucking, Cuming untouched, L Bombs, Talks of Pregnancy/Marriage, not proof read.
I enjoyed writing in Sanji’s POV so I’ll be switching from him to 3rd in this. Also I may reference a little bit from “Lady K and the Sick Man”💀
Tumblr media
Sanji POV-
2 long years. After 2 long years I got to see her again. I almost didn’t recognize her. I couldn’t move when I seen her on the Thousand Sunny yet I wanted nothing more than to run and hold her, kiss her, smell her I didn’t care I needed to be in her presence again.
All I did was think about her. I thought about her laugh, her jokes, her beautiful eyes that never seemed to stop having that glint when she smiled, her scent I couldn’t get enough of, the way how she fought beside me numerous of times, her soft hands caressing my face after I made love to her, how she always held me in her beautiful breast almost all night playing in my hair, her hot breath hitting my neck frantically as she never let go of me as she was cumming, crying my name over and over again, how her dull nails dug into my back always managing to leave scars,—fuck.
The long nights I had thinking about her were finally over. I missed her touch, I got strong for myself, my crew, and her of course. I wanted to make sure this new go round I keep her as safe as possible. I can’t lose her again. I won’t lose her again.
It’s been so long.
I was told she was in her room, —-dammit I just missed her. I wasn’t sure why but butterflies hit the bottom of my stomach as I went to look for her. I only saw a glimpse of her but I couldn’t believe how much she’s grown, SHE LOOKED SO HOT!
HER TITS WERE LIKE BEAUTIFUL SWEET CARAMEL MARSHMALLOWS
Is that a thing?
HER BUTT WAS A PERFECT 10–SO SOFT AND JIGGLY LIKE A CHEESECAKE
HER BEAUTIFUL SKIN THAT WAS KISSED PERSONALLY BY THE SUN REMINDING ME OF A WARM SUNET IN WHICH IF I STARED TOO LONG I COULD POSSIBLY BE BLINDED BY IT.
I MISSED THIS WOMAN SO MUCH!
Wait no.
I have to relax.
But I cant—
After everybody had set sail after saying their hellos again Sanji went to go look for you. His mind was going a mile a minute thinking about you once more, he actually felt a cold sweat come along causing him to undo his tie a bit.
There she is.
Her door.
My hands were shaking frantically. I knocked on the door and heard a faint “yes?”. I could recognize that beautiful voice anywhere.
“It’s uh…it’s me, Sanji.” I didn’t get a response for a few seconds, I heard her feet approach closer and closer to the door until…
“Hey.”
“Y/n…”
Her smile was just as breath taking as when I last seen it, she always managed to do it with her eyes too, I could have sworn time froze when she opened the door.
I missed her, so much.
She quickly wrapped her arms around my neck, fuck she smelled even better than I remembered too. Her body was so soft, her touch was so delicate I just couldn’t get enough.
“Long time no see, Ji.”
I chuckled with her at the nickname she gave me that she seemed to never let go of. It was more than fine though, because it was her saying it.
“You busy? Can we talk?” She pulled away searching my face while cupping my cheeks. I agreed to speak with her of course, I knew the privacy wouldn’t last too long because I had to start the feast soon.
We sat on the edge of her bed, and okay to be honest I couldn’t stop looking at her ass. She looked too damn good. I really tried my hardest not to pass out but from seeing Robin and Nami and more importantly Y/N I don’t think my heart can take all this!
We talked of course, losing track of time once again. I was laid on my back on her bed as she sat up beside me on her elbow playing with my tie. It was almost like we never left I couldn’t stop staring at her stunning gaze.
“When we Land to the new island I wanna show you my new movesssss. I. Y/N. Have gotten quieter stronger.”
“You have! You can show me whatever you like! You look amazing too, my love!”
She laughed hovering over my face, her lips just grazing mine, I started to feel hot again and she smirked noticing and took my cigarette out of my mouth to kiss me finally. She pulled back slowly giggling at me because I didn’t want it to end. AND I DID NOT HER LIPS TASTED SO SWEET AND WAS SO SOFT LIKE A CLOUD—
“I’m surprised you haven’t climbed on top of me already. Did you also learn self control, Ji?” Y/n teased, handing me back my cigarette as I sucked my bottom lip still looking at hers.
“Maybe…”
“Well…” She huffed and got on top of me, oh fuck I missed being under her. “I didn’t practice that much of self control to be honest…and if you want me to be blunt…IIIIIIII kinda been a bit antsy since I seen you arrive…so I ran to my room to calm down a bit.”
“Oh?—don’t Tell me My darling got…flustered?! Because of me?!”
“Shut up.” She chuckled holding her face with one hand, “Maybe…you’re all grown up now…’n stuff and…you look really good…or whatever.”
She was so cute like this. She always had a cute pout. I smile and rub my hands up her waist and thighs. She was wearing this pretty dress that exposed the sides of her thick thighs. Y/N was always so sensitive when I did that and it showed seeing how she jumped when I did it.
As well as her breast.
“I missed you a lot , Y/N… you know many times I—-“
“I know…I did too…I couldn’t help myself I thought about you almost every. Single. Night. Unfortunately—-” Her hands roamed my chest as she started to lower herself back over my face, “….my fingers can never compare to your pretty lips…or something else, but…I don’t wanna get too vulgar.”
I felt my cheeks blush, the thought of her touching herself, thinking of me I—-
Ok i got hard.
You felt the bulge of Sanji’s pants grow below you, pressing so sweet against your clothed cunt and you bit your lip in satisfaction. As much as you wanted to wait until later tonight when everybody was asleep, Sanji just was too predictable and looked way too good.
“Sanji….why don’t you show me how much you missed me…”
“Y/n…”
Her minty breath overcrowded mine somehow, I honestly been aching to fuck her since she opened the door, but I wanted our “makeup” sex to be special. Not just a quickie. She must have seen the conflict in my eyes and kissed me again. It was almost as if her lips washed away any form of concern I had and so I pulled her close to my chest squeezing the fatty mounds of her ass with both hands. My grip was firm making her to gasp and I used the opportunity to swirl my tongue in her mouth.
I felt some spit fall in between our kissing, but I didn’t care how sloppy it was it just made me more turned on to see her again. I couldn’t wait, I muttered a curse under my breath and sat up. Our lips never separated, I was hungry. She was hungrier and we both knew what could satisfy us.
“Get up and Take this off.” Y/N heavily breathed out tugging my pants. I don’t know why or what it was but she loved watching me unbuckle my slacks in front of her. Her eyes looked so full of lust and desire I couldn’t say no. I did. As told and her mouth was agape seeing me pull out my cock from my boxers the entire time—-she was so sexy like this.
She pushed me back a little and got on her knees. We always bickered about who will go down on who first, but right now I didn’t really give a damn she looked so needy on her knees stripping off all her clothing but her panties.
Her pretty doe eyes look up at me as she licks my balls to my cock, her fucking tongue was a weapon of itself I have no idea how the hell she learned these moves considering I was the one to take her virginity. Her eyes rolled back into her head moaning on my cock as it slid further down her wet mouth. I gripped her hair trying not to pull it, but she was making me damn near dizzy and —-
“Fuck! Y/n! Ah!” I moaned out, I came way too fast and she didn’t let up sucking me through my orgasm. I knew we would get so many weird looks when we came out to the crew but I couldn’t care less I had a beautiful woman begging with her lips to suck my dick after being around nothing but men for 2 years I DESERVE THIS.
The pain of overstimulation had my mind already numb, I pushed her closer to my groin, I felt the back of her throat pulsating on the tip and a few inches of shaft. Her nails clawed at my thighs as she dragged out a hum from her throat vibrating on my cock making me roll my eyes back moaning out her name. I didn’t give a fuck if anybody hears I hope that dumbass Moss head does and get jealous.
It didn’t take long for me to spray her pretty throat with my seed again, she always begged for me to cum in her mouth, and at first I didn’t really find it appealing to do so, but fuck that I let her pull away for a second and held her head with one hand seeing drips of my cum fall down the sides of her wet cheeks.
“‘S good?” She sighed scooping some of the cum from her lips and sucked on her finger moaning.
“Stand up.” Sanji commanded, you did as told immediately hearing the rasp in his voice, he kissed your lips making sure he tasted himself and your saliva combined. The taste was bitter, but addicting nonetheless. Sanji kept kissing until he pushed you on the wall to slide off the rest of your thin panties away swiftly and slid his fingers in your cunt. Slightly amazed at how wet you’ve gotten from deep throating him. He groaned at the slimy feel of your warm insides.
“Fuck I missed you—don’t leave me again okay?” I didn’t care how needy I sounded, y/n had to know how I felt. How much she meant to me. I couldn’t wait to taste her again. She was always my favorite sweet, I got on my knees. She blushed looking so embarrassed. I loved having to look up at my Princess.
“Hey. Look at me.” I softened my voice, “I have to see your face, baby. Remind me how you look when you cum—“
I didn’t give her anytime to reply I pryed her legs apart and placed her free hand in my hair before I opened her pretty pussy apart and sucked on her clit. I fucking needed this so bad. Her slit was so wet and so ready for me I grabbed her ass against and pushed her pelvis into my face completely.
“Oh Sanji!” Her moans were like a melody, I felt my cock twitch at every cry she did for me and to think I’m the one causing her to feel this good made me groan inside her I could almost feel myself getting ready to cum right with her.
“I missed this pussy so much…” I mumbled with her clit in between my lips tugging it a little and sucking carefully. I had a deeper craving so I threw her thigh on my shoulder and tongue fucked her mercilessly.
“I’m so close! Sanji—pleaseee ah!” She swayed her hips to the rhythm of my tongue . I felt my orgasm approach too.
“Cum—cum in my mouth..”
Just like the good girl she was she even squirted a little too, she tasted perfect. I felt myself leak and make a mess of the floor, but hopefully she didn’t mind it.
She began to shake in the legs, I didn’t mind I would catch her if she tried to fall anyways, picking her up I started marking her neck while moving her to the bed. I was overwhelmed with ideas; doggy style? Sideways? Matting press? I couldn’t think as I toyed with her slit with my fingers and sucked and licked her neck.
“Sanji…please..put it in…”
No time to really think if my Princess wanted my cock right then and there I just rose up a bit and slid myself right in. Words cannot explain how incredible she felt. It didn’t compare to any toy I got or my fist AT ALL.
She cockwarmed me for a moment. I Just couldn’t get myself to move. I knew if I did I’d probably end up cumming again. But my Princess was impatient feeling herself move her hips on her own so greedily causing me to fall all my weight on top of her giving her neck weak kitten licks.
“Baby w-wait wait I—“
“Please Sanji…ah! I need it! I need you!”
I couldn’t be so rude as to ignore my sweetheart’s wishes. I was still so Sensitive from already cumming 3 times, but I didn’t care she had to be taken care of.
“F-fffuck!” I strained out my mouth setting the pace of my strokes. My hips were stuttering against hers and I was too focused of fixing my thrust she grabbed my face to kiss me oh so passionately.
“You feel so good, Sanji….” Her soft words made me slow down and grab her body tightly against mine. She curled her legs around my waist not wanting to let go of my lips, moaning and crying out. She was so tight my mind was in a blur, we kept panting in between kisses to breath. We couldn’t be more closer and I loved it. Maybe it was because it’s been so long or maybe it was because I was too drunk off her amazing pussy to realize but she had already just came on my cock and I was still pumping her full.
“Sanji!”
She repeated my name in broken syllables with each drag of my cock as I went faster. I felt myself about to cum, I wasn’t sure why but I moved off her lips and rose up to grab her headboard. I saw the slightly excitement in her eyes as I pushed back her legs further, she held them tightly. I glanced at her glistening pussy spasming and clenching around me almost as if she is trying to keep my cum inside her. At this point I wouldn’t mind.
Seeing her pregnant with my seed growing inside her make my heart flutter but it also made my cock harder.
I began to snap my hips harshly against her ass not missing a beat, the grip I had on her bed caused it to bang loudly against the wood wall. I knew at least one person could hear us from outside I didn’t care I just wanted to see her cum on me again. Her breast were bouncing against her thighs, her eyes were rolled back, drool was falling from the side of her mouth.
Fuck I can cum just by looking at her face.
Y/N started to bite her own arm, which made me know she was about to cum. It’s so cute how she bites so much when she is so close. I slowed down just enough to kiss her. She loved kissing as she was reaching her high too. I massaged and pinched her sensitive nipples while she cried out. Feeling her twitch all over me made me cry out too. I never had a better orgasm before in my entire life.
Maybe that 2 year break was needed because that was probably the best sex I’ve ever had with her.
Once we settled down she started to let out airy laughs looking at my sweaty pink face peppering me in kisses.
“You good, baby?”
This girl’s voice is ganna drive me insane.
“I’m amazing. You’re amazing!” I melted in her touch before she buried me in her soft rounded chest. I couldn’t help myself I did latch onto her nipple sucking it a bit as she massaged my sweaty hair.
“Mmmm.” She sighed pecking me pushing me in closer, after a few seconds i let her nipple slip out of my lips and kissed my way up to hers.
“I know you Gatta get up in a second, but I’m glad to be with you again…I love you, baby.” She wiped my wet cheeks.
“I am too…I love you more, my love.”
I was going to get up, but just a few more minutes of being in her embrace …
It felt like home again being in her arms.
406 notes · View notes
feyhunter78 · 1 year
Text
The Innocent's Folly pt. 5
Tumblr media
Description: Daemon brings Aemond a gift, and you find familiar comfort in Jacaerys
Previous chapter, Next chapter
It’s been three agonizing days and three sleepless nights since you were stolen from him by Rhaenyra’s eldest annoyance. He’s awoken from his sleep, the morning sun breaking, to yet another day where he is alone. Your warmth is no longer there, your body no longer pressed against his, even your scent seems to be rapidly disappearing from the sheets at a rate Aemond knows is not possible.
That strange call that could only belong to his uncle’s dragon pierces the air, and he’s soon rushed into the great hall, his father beaming at Daemon’s return.
Daemon turned on his heel when Aemond entered, a machiavellian smile on his face. “Ah, my dear nephew, just the boy I wished to see.”
His mother is trying her best to hide her uneasiness, and his grandsire is barely restraining his anger.
“Uncle, it is an honor.” He said, noting the dark canvas sack Daemon held in one hand.
“I have recently been by to visit my niece at Dragonstone and found your wife once more in her company.” He tilted his chin up, a gleeful light in his eyes. “It reminded me that I had forgotten to give you a wedding gift.”
“That is not necessary, Uncle, your presence was a gift itself.” Aemond said calmly, he admired the ruthless man before him, but he did not trust him.
Daemon shook his head. “No, in my short visit I had grown fond of your little wife. Such a chatty thing, is she not?” There was a cutting undertone to his words that no one but Aemond’s father missed. “So, I thought I would welcome her to the family and gift you both this.”
He dumped the contents of the sack at Aemond’s feet.
Out rolled a head of dark hair, piercing green eyes, now dead and dull, stared up at him.
Aemond swallowed hard, and he heard his mother gasp, the sound of Sir Criston’s armor clanking as he rushed to her aid. “My wife asked for Alys’ death?”
Daemon chuckled. “Gods, no, the sight was quite frightening to her, drove her right into the arms of her sweet Jacaerys, as she’s taken to calling him.” He dropped the sack on the ground as well. “Though she did not ask for it, I knew it needed to be done. Witches are a plague.”
Aemond sat in his chambers, staring blankly into the fire. He felt nothing when he looked upon Alys’ severed head, truthfully, he had felt nothing but lust when he looked at her whole. It was the reason he procured whores instead of flying to the Riverlands to meet her.
It was a hassle to fly out there, he told himself. Not wanting to believe that he wished to stay in y/n’s embrace instead, that he wished to hear the details of her day instead of scheme with Alys.
That usurper Jacaerys claimed he was duty bound to take y/n away, that it was the honorable thing to do. He knew the Strong boy had always had his eye on y/n, but he never thought she would go willingly. She couldn’t have, he decided.
His heart was an open wound, painful, and bleeding. He would not be able to stanch the flow if he allowed himself to accept that y/n had gone willingly. That she had left him and taken his son with her.
 He was unsure of why the thought stung so deeply, and refused to believe that it had anything to do with the fact that no matter how hard he tried, it was her face he saw when he finished. Her voice he wished to hear, her skin he wished was beneath his fingers.
His mother’s entrance into his chambers knocked him from his reminiscing.
“Aemond I—” She cut herself off, shaking her head. “The blood has been cleaned, the head removed, we must deal with this situation before it spirals further out of our control.”
“What would you have me do?” Aemond asked, trying to smother his pain with the cold comfort of duty.
“Nothing right at this moment. I will need to confer with your grandsire, and perhaps your father.” She pursed her lips, then spoke again. “I hoped that perhaps you were happy, that you wanted y/n and the child, your child, she is carrying, but I see I was wrong to hope.”
He wished to rip out the bleeding, beating thing in his chest, to stop the ache from further spreading. She wasn’t wrong, he was just a fool.
“I have done what was asked of me.” He said, diving further into duty, into that place of black and white, where his emotions held no sway over his mind.
His mother moved closer to him, her hand cupping his cheek. “I am sorry, Aemond. You never should have been put in this position.” Her hand dropped and she turned to leave. “But you are a man. One who claims to have honor, and yet you have dishonored your wife, and your family. Think on that as you picture what joys and pleasures Rhaenyra’s family will be plying y/n with to get her to stay.”
Aemond stared at his mother’s back, images of his sweet wife writhing underneath Jacaerys making his stomach lurch.
You’d first taken to following your lady around as you once did, happy to be back in her service, but after Prince Daemon had presented you with the dead body of Alys, you found yourself clinging to Jacaerys.
When her head was thrown at your feet, you screamed, stomach lurching, as you scrambled to get away from the bloodied corpse.
Jacaerys had come to your rescue, taking you into his arms, tucking your face into his neck as he berated his uncle for scaring you so. He smelled of evergreens and dragon, a scent so uniquely him and as comforting as it had been when you were younger. His arms were strong, his skin warm, and his hand rubbed your back soothingly as you waited for Daemon to take his prize away.
“All is well, dear heart, soon it will be gone.” He whispered, your heart fluttering at the use of his childhood nickname for you.
You stayed in his arms, holding him tightly, until a loud cough separated you and Lord Harwin shot Jacaerys a look.
Jacaerys escorted you back to your temporary quarters, lingering in the doorway until you invited him in. It was nice, talking with him again, you’d been so lonely, and now you were in a castle full of the people you loved. Not all the people you loved, though.
You still found yourself thinking of Aemond, reaching for him when you awoke. Then you remembered the dagger to your heart that was the day you left. The way he so carelessly discarded you and left you to go bed a whore, calling her by the name of another woman.
How far removed in his heart were you?
“They were using you, dear y/n, it is clear to me now.” Rhaenyra said, after another round of you telling her of your life in the Keep.
“Aemond’s cruelty knows no end.” Jacaerys seethed, taking your hand in his when you began to cry.
“Princess, please forgive me, I meant no harm, I thought Queen Alicent was longing to reconnect with you.” You said, eyes shining with tears as you looked at her.
She leaned forward and squeezed your shoulder. “Do not fret, y/n, I know you would never betray me.”
“No, never.” You repeated, shaking your head ardently.
Jacaerys and Rhaenyra looked at each other, exchanging words through glances.
“If I have any information about the queen’s movements that would aid you, I would be more than happy to divulge it to you.” You added, feeling a flame of anger spark within you as you realized how Aemond had played you for a fool.
Rhaenyra smiled gently. “Thank you, y/n, but now I think it would be best for you to rest. This has been a trying time for you.”
She dismissed you and Jacaerys.
As you walked side by side, Jacaerys spoke up, a hesitance in his tone. “There was a time I believed I might have been able to marry you.”
Your head whipped in his direction. “My Prince?”
His face was tinted a light pink, his brown locks falling in front of his face as he bent his head. “It was a childhood desire, but being back in your presence seems to have rekindled my affections.”
You placed a hand on his bicep, stopping him gently. “Jacaerys, I am still married to Aemond, and carrying his child…”
He held your hand, his free hand coming to support your opposite arm, warm hand cradling your elbow. “I am not unaware of your circumstances, but y/n I do not care. I cannot stand by and watch as he squanders the opportunity I would kill to have.”
Your heart stumbled in your chest, your eyes searching his face. “I do not understand, why did you not protest the betrothal then?”
“You seemed happy, and mother has plans to betroth me to a Lannister.” His thumbs caressed your skin, his voice soft. “I did not want to pull you from your happiness if I could not guarantee you a place at my side.”
Tears welled in your eyes once more, and Jacaerys cupped your face. “My dear heart, please, do not cry. I will cease my words, I never meant to hurt you.”
You let out a shaky breath, tears slipping down your cheeks and wetting his hands. “You make it sound so easy to love me.”
“It is, y/n, it is as easy as breathing.” He said earnestly, warm umber eyes trapping your gaze.
“Then why did he want others, why does he not love me?” You whispered, voice breaking as you finally spoke aloud the questions that had been plaguing your dreaming and waking mind.
His face fell, and he shushed you gently, pulling you into his embrace as you sobbed into his tunic.
Tag list: @nyctophilic0vitnir, @svtansdaddyx, @fan-goddess, @dc-marvel-girl96, @shintax-error, @bellameshipper, @the141bandicoot, @the-phantom-of-arda, @haydee5010, @partypoison00, @serrhaewin, @issshhhaa, @pax-2735, @malfoytargaryen, @sahanna, @dellalyra, @mxrgodsstuff, @jkhomes, @unusual-raccoon, @boofy1998, @kravitzwhore, @caribbeangel, @krispold, @issshhhaa, @afro-hispwriter, @ryswritingrecord, @prettykinkysoul, @elissanatok, @sahvlren, @its-sam-allgood, @happinessinthbeing, @8e-h-e8, @feyres-fireheart
353 notes · View notes
beastofburdenxo · 5 months
Text
Pinned
Alright here it is, the one shot of Tommy getting squished by a much bigger woman. No smut, just a little submissiveness. 1.3k words Tags: size kink, restraint, slight sub/dom vibes
Tommy sees a woman that piques his interest, but has he bitten off more than he can chew?
Tumblr media
Tommy couldn’t believe his eyes. “I must be really drunk.” he thought to himself as he saw a glimpse of her walking past The Garrison’s window. Standing up, he staggers to the door trying to get a better look at her. Against better judgment he sees her and decides to follow her. Her dress is considered scandalous, cut low in the back, skin showing. Over half of her naked back is exposed for all to see. Her hair is pinned up to not interrupt the show she’s putting on. It's not the dress itself that got Tommy’s attention, it’s her back. Tommy has never seen a woman with such a muscular figure. Her back muscles are rippled and defined like a man’s should be. Same with her shoulders and arms. She’s easily bigger and possibly stronger than tommy, yet he can’t stay away from her. “This isn’t right, why does she look like that? Why dress like that, she’s just asking for trouble! Is her husband just as big as her? Does she have a husband? I certainly wouldn’t let my wife wear that casually!”  
Keeping a safe distance, he still is following, noticing the looks the townspeople are giving her. She pays them all no mind. “I do believe she could handle herself if someone tried something.” he thinks with a chuckle. “Might even let her handle me.” Tommy shakes that thought away. “I’m just simply curious about this odd stranger is all. What is she doing here?” She takes a turn down an alleyway, and he goes with her. Trying to keep his steps silent, he’s finally noticing just how big this woman is. Her back is very toned and broad, along with masculine shoulders. Her arms are easily as big as his head, at least 6 inches taller than him, including her shoes. He tries to slow his breathing, thinking maybe he should turn back. Before he can though, the wind has been knocked out of Tommy as he is thrown against the brick alley wall. One strong hand is around his throat, as he struggles to keep his feet on the ground. 
“Why are you following me?” asks the woman. Her voice is still very feminine despite her body shape. She's holding a grown man still with one hand like it’s nothing. Tommy is trying to stay cool and not kick his feet like a little bitch. “I asked you a question dammit.” as she eases up her grip so he can talk. Looking down at him, she notices a slight flush on his face. Like he’s partially embarrassed and partially aroused. Tommy for once doesn’t know what to do. He's not used to literally being looked down at by a woman, much less one twice his size. Running is useless, he knows, she’ll just have him right up on the wall again. Clearing his throat, trying to make eye contact, he mumbles, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Laughing, she bends down directly to him, holding his chin. “Oh, I'm not scared darling, but I think you are a little. Now I asked you a question, why are you following me? I know who you are Tommy, I heard everything about you, now what does a peaky blinder want with a strong woman?” 
Tommy’s eyes get big at the fact that he’s no longer anonymous. Who told her about him? Why did she let him follow her? What is her deal? Swallowing thickly, he decides to go with the truth. “I saw you walk by The Garrison, and I knew obviously you weren’t a local. I was curious about you. At first, I thought I was really drunk, there is no way that’s a woman, but I then realized you are that big.” thinking perhaps he offended her at that remark, he grimaces, preparing for the punch he knows is coming. If anyone asks though, he got in a drunken fight with a man. But the punch doesn’t come, as his feet touch the ground. Still staring down at him she replies with a smile, “Yes Tommy, I’m a woman and I am that damn large and in charge. A body like this takes a lot of work you know.” Flexing her arm muscles for Tommy to gawk at. He wants to feel her arm but decides against it. Better not push it right now, she could easily restrain him again. “But would it really be that bad if she did though? For once you could get put in your place huh?” Closing his eyes, he wills his body to not betray him right now.  
She notices his inner struggle as she holds his red face again, “What’s wrong sweetie? Why so red?” she bends down to whisper in Tommy’s ear, “Does the massive woman get you all worked up?” 
“Enough of this shit, eh? I'm leaving.” He tries to escape her grasp but was unsuccessful as he is now flat on his back on the filthy alleyway floor. In a moment of panic there is now a fight for dominance. Ultimately, she wins of course as she holds Tommy’s hands above his head. “Poor baby, done got his fancy suit all dirty!” she teases as she looks down at his pinned frame, hair all wet and messy from the scuffle, heavy breathing. She lowers herself fully on top of him, her grasp not letting up. Tommy’s poor legs start to shake like he’s trying to kick her off. Or is it for another reason? Is he perhaps enjoying this? “What in the hell do you want woman?” Tommy manages to gasp out as her sheer body weight is making it hard to breathe. Also, he’s breathing hard because he’s excited by this predicament, but you’d have to torture him to let that secret out.  
“All I want is to know what you want Tommy,” she murmurs in his ear, “You are the one pursuing little old me in an alleyway. I see you’ve stopped fighting me, why is that? Are you enjoying this? A big bad gangster finally getting what he deserves from a woman who can punish him? Is that what you need?” This causes another bout of strength from Tommy, his adrenaline pumping as he starts to squirm again. With an amused tone she just pins him harder to the ground, “Now, now, did I hit a nerve? That’s not very nice of you Tommy dear.” She puts her forehead right up against Tommy’s as she coos, “That’s no way to treat a woman that turns you on, is it? You’ve been poking my thigh the whole time. Tisk tisk, shame on you.” Tommy’s already bulging eyes get even bigger at the realization that she knows he likes this. Why does he like this? This is so wrong. He closes his eyes thanking whatever deity exists that he hasn’t been seen in this position. That everyone thinks he’s still tough and manly, and not some horny puddle of goo underneath this beautiful gargantuan woman. Oh no, if Arthur could see him now, he’d never hear the end of it. 
During this inner monologue of his, she kisses his cheek and proceeds to release him from her grasp. Tommy lets out a deep breath at the relief, but an almost inaudible whimper falls out of his mouth as well at the loss of being helpless and pinned. She lets him think she didn’t hear this as she stands up. Looking down at his still limp body, him looking up at her with a confused and almost drunk like expression on his face, she says to him, “Now be good Tommy, or I'll have to pin you again. I’ll be seeing you.” Walking away she leaves him sprawled on the ground, dazed and aroused. Hoping she’ll one day pin him again.
48 notes · View notes