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stella-monstrum · 3 years

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Creep (2014); Masterpieces don’t escape accountability (Rated R; 1hr 22 mins)

In this circumstance, I am incredibly guilty of judging a book by its cover. Netflix is hit and miss when it comes to hosting a film that absolutely blows me away, let alone drive me to such internal rage and passion for weeks after the fact.

Cinematic poster for Creep (2014). (Source: YouTube)

Upon the ever-so-familiar scrolling journey, the silhouette of a man in what appears to be workout gear didn’t immediately jump out at me. Upon further inspection I discovered that James Blum (founder of Blumhouse Productions) had a hand in this film. I allowed my soft spot for Blumhouse to make the decision to watch for me.

Before we begin I want to put a disclaimer. I have not seen this specific side of this film being talked about or covered. I applaud Mark Duplass and Patrick Brice for creating something very different in the serial killer/thriller genre—let alone within the confines of found footage. I am a fan of both genres individually, but Creep in particular I have a lot to tear into.

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Plot:

Freelance videographer Aaron (Patrick Brice) responds to an anonymous online ad that offers $1,000 dollars per day. The ad brings Aaron to a remote part of the mountains, where he meets his boss/subject Josef (Mark Duplass). Josef explains that he’s a soon-to-be father who might not get to see his son’s birth due to a recurrent cancer diagnosis—specifically a “Baseball sized tumor that is inoperable” only two months prior to beating the disease that had spread to his liver and lungs. (This hit extremely home for me after losing my father to stage 4 stomach cancer that spread in a similar way. But I’ll get to that connection later.)

Josef hires Aaron to film a very personal documentary of his daily life (“tubby time,” hiking to a legendary lake that cures disease, etc.) to show to his unborn son in the event that Josef passes.

Josef and Aaron bonding at the “Miracle Waters of the Heart” (Source: IMDB)

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The hope and upbeat personality of Josef in spite of his cancer struggles made me immediately connect and feel for him. With each passing moment, there’s a bond between Josef, Aaron, and I (from a first-person standpoint). Josef also has an odd sense of humor which includes “jokingly” trying to drown himself, scaring the shit out of Aaron on multiple occasions. These kinds of events escalate very quickly.

Connecting with a creepy looking wolf mask and acting different when putting it on.

Taking photos of Aaron upon his arrival to the cabin.

Sending him odd DVDs of himself after Aaron avoids Josef’s attempt at trying to make friends.

Sending Aaron a musical locket with both of their photos in it.

Ultimately, things get progressively worse. Josef steals Aaron’s keys, cluing into the fact that Josef isn’t quite right and most importantly dangerous. Which you can see at 1:44 in the trailer here.

Josef as Peachfuzz the friendly wolf. (Source: Google Images)

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With Josef’s behavior, it made me believe that the “baseball-sized tumor” was affecting his judgment and were ultimately symptoms of a personality disorder. According to thebraintumourcharity.org;

“Personality changes are most common when a tumour is located in the frontal lobe, which controls your personality and emotions. It also controls our ability to regulate our behaviour and restrain ourselves, so tumours that develop in the frontal lobe can cause behaviour that's considered socially inappropriate.”

I get what Mark and Patrick were trying to portray before ultimately revealing that the whole circumstance was a blatant psychotic lie. I will hand it to them on the fact that they captured every single very real fear attached to Craigslist, Ebay, & Facebook Marketplace.

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Now you may ask, “What’s there to be accountable for?”

It isn’t uncommon for filmmakers to have disease as a focal point to drive their subject to doing some pretty nasty things. As someone who lost a loved one to cancer recently, I don’t agree with Mark and Patrick villainizing cancer (intentionally or not) for the majority of the film. I also don’t agree in other circumstances either. It’s disappointing and dampened my enjoyment for what would be a masterpiece otherwise.

Obviously in the news, there’s been many occasions where men and women fake cancer to scam others. In Creep they do push that button to bring a very real fear to the surface.

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As a viewer, you still felt for Josef when he admits to lying:

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve seen doctors, tried medications, but nothing has helped. It’s led me to do terrible and inappropriate things.”

In Creep canon, fans have believed that Josef suffers from Schizotypal, a mild form of schizophrenia that presents itself as the following (according to Harvard):

“Loners who prefer to keep their distance from others and are uncomfortable being in relationships. They sometimes exhibit odd speech or behavior, and they have a limited or flat range of emotions.” But the depiction extends beyond that scientific blocked off description.

Plus, this theory has not been confirmed by either Patrick or Mark.

Mark Duplass’ performance was heart wrenching, creepy, and on another level for found footage. This film haunted me so much, and provoked so much internal thought. Ultimately, though, filmmakers should be held accountable (at least by fans) for making a poor choice, and this article is trying to do exactly that.

The two-part Creep franchise is very thought-provoking, and I look forward to seeing how they come about adding a third installment. There sure are a lot of current-day situations to choose from. But the filmmakers need to do so in a way that doesn’t villainize illness—mental or physical.

If you or a loved one experience mental health struggles, here is a compiled list of resources.

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stella-monstrum · 3 years

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Southbound (2016); “An anthology of hellish ‘Butterfly Effect’ consequence.” (1hr 31mins, Rated R)

When I’m bored and taking a chance to pick any genre of film to watch (specifically horror), I certainly want to be amazed and in awe of the work put into making it.

A huge plus of having Hulu is that the app allows you to take a peek at any film’s trailer so that you can make a split-second judgment on or about it.

This article’s subject comes from the 2016 horror anthology film Southbound. The concept of anthology filmmaking itself has been around since the very early 1900s. When spoken of, the most notable titles like Tales From The Crypt (1989), Twilight Zone (1959), and George Romero’s Creepshow (1982) come to mind immediately. Attempting to make a film among those legendary likes means that you’ve got a challenge ahead of you. If you want to explore the history further, I highly recommend reading this piece from SYFY.

Back to the film at hand.

The poster for Southbound (2016) (Source: Google Images)

The trailer is very intense and fast-paced, introducing viewers to essentially five different groups who are focused on in the film.

A group of women, two seemingly random men, a businessman, a brother/sister duo, and a family of three. Oh, and also these weird-as-hell flying skeleton monsters that can kill you with their long pointy spines and bony arms (for fun’s sake, let’s just call them skelly stabby boys). The premise is a little out there, but aren’t most anthologies?

Honestly, I watched the trailer a handful of times because I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. So, I mean, the creators did their job well.

Jack getting f’d UP by the skelly stabby boy. (Screencap from Southbound, 2016; Source: Google Images.)

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CAST ENSEMBLE;

There’s a fairly long list of cast and crew, so I’m just going to focus on those that we see on-screen, based on the order of the short films that make up the anthology.

Larry Fessenden / Radio DJ (who foreshadows and predicts everyone’s fate with each story)

Larry Fessenden, 2018 [Source: Entertainment Weekly]

Opening credits card for Larry Fessenden as The DJ. (Screencap from Southbound, 2016; Source: [Google Images])

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“The Way Out”- [Part One]

Chad Villella / Mitch

Matt Bettinelli-Olpin / Jack

From left to right, Mitch & Jack. (Screencap from Southbound, 2016; Source: Google Images).

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“Siren” (Part Two)

Fabianne Therese / Sadie

Nathalie Love / Kim

Hannah Marks / Ava

Susan Burke / Betty

Davey Johnson / Dale

Dana Gould / Raymond Kensington

Anessa Ramsey / Bunny Kensington

Max & Nick Folkman / Kensington twins

A “dinner” with (from left to right) Kim, Sadie, & Ava. (Screencap from Southbound, 2016; Source: scifinow.co.uk )

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“The Accident” (Part Three)

Mather Zickel / Lucas

Fabianne Therese / Sadie

Maria Olsen / Dispatcher

Karla Droege / EMT

Justin Welborne / Surgeon

Mather Zickel in his role as Lucas. (Screencap from Southbound, 2016; Source: Google Images.)

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“Jailbreak” (Part Four)

Maria Olsen / Sandy

David Yow / Danny (brother)

Matt Peters / Al

Tyler Tuione / Warren

Tipper Newton / Jesse (sister)

David Yow as Danny. (Screencap from Southbound, 2016; Source: Google Images)

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“The Way In” (Part Five)

Chad Villella / Mitch

Matt Bettinelli-Olpin / Jack

Kate Beahan / Cait (mother)

Gerald Downey / Daryl (father)

Hassie Harrison / Jem (daughter)

Gerald Downey as Daryl. (Screencap from Southbound, 2016; Source: Google Images)

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Film’s Premise and Personal Theories:

From the start, it’s made very clear that this town that hosts all five of these stories has no name, is way out in the middle of nowhere, and doesn’t even exist on any GPS map.

The only thing that is clear is that the direction is “south.” From sending Mitch and Jack to the same exact spot of “Roy’s Diner” when they try to escape, each story and part of this seemingly small town shows different areas where the last leaves off.

Roy’s motel/ diner. (Screencap from Southbound, 2016; Source: Google Images)

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How did these people even find this area?

It seems to me that the town essentially choses who comes in, goes out (spoiler: only one is allowed out), or makes them claim it as their long-time home. With supernatural aspects, this place seems essentially like Hell—or even a sort of Purgatory, depending on the severity of what the person experiencing it has done.

So essentially my take is that, in some way, they enter into this hell to find loved ones (whether on purpose or by force) or to make right a horrific wrongdoing. Also, there’s constant hinting of some twisted butterfly effect at work.

Each person has something that they’re guilty about or a secret that they try to bury. The town feeds off of that and becomes the judge and jury regarding their punishments.

Unmarked Interstate Sign (Screencap from Southbound, 2016; Source: Google Images)

Oh, and as a welcome committee, they’ve got the skelly boys that we talked about earlier who stalk and oversee these events. This “southbound” area also hosts a multitude of odd characters.

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Now, to fully get a feel for the film and its every detail, I did watch it twice.

I was my own worst enemy here because after the first view, I loved this film. Then I had some time to think before watching it a second time. Then...well, the cringe moments hit.

Unfortunately (as I’ll explain as this review series goes along), the film lacks a good bit of substance in plot and dialogue. Some of the parts made me go, “Well, that’s a thing,” like the directors needed basic filler. Let’s be honest: I say “fuck” as much as the next person, but they rely on it way too heavily, using it almost as a crutch, and the dialogue comes off as half assed improvised. The remaining scripts are just plain bland and seemed like the writers forgot how to be natural.

However, there are just as many redeeming qualities that made me hang in for the entire hour and a half run time.

I honestly feel that the fact of the film’s score paid homage to those bone chilling ’80s synthesizer/sci-fi notes and (my favorite trope of all) those ’50s/’60s era upbeat bops brought a sense of dread and crepiness to the anthology. It saves what would otherwise seem like bland moments.

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(Song used as main theme in 2016′s Southbound)

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The poster for the film is brilliant in the fact that the road forms a pentagram and also represents each story that all comes together into the middle. It’s simple, but it’s very effective.

Whether intentional or not, the lack of concrete backstory leaves a wishful potential for a prequel on the history of the town and the long-time residents that we meet. It may even give way to a sequel focusing on any of the five stories or even new, unsuspecting travelers.

So join me while I dive into this five-part anthology series where I dive into what the film is about, theorize all sorts of confusing and weird things, and honestly just contemplate on how Mather Zickel and Hassie Harrison saved the entire damn thing.

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stella-monstrum · 3 years

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Bobby Roe’s ‘Underestimated Gem’, “The Houses October Built”; [1hr 31mins, Rated R] (2014)

Admittedly, there is a lot to unpack in this review.

I found myself at the relatable point of endless scrolling through horror films on streaming apps, hoping to find something that really challenged and rattled my thinking afterwards. Obviously, film taste is different for everyone, and I am CERTAINLY way too easy to scare. But this wasn’t a film made to elicit jumps—or screams for that matter.

I went into this viewing with a couple expectations. First of all, Hulu’s trailer for the movie was enough to grab my interest by itself. The clips of this group of friends exploring haunted horror attractions and the brief introduction to the eerie actors along with it pulled me in.

[Anecdote; Around the same time that the film came out, I’d gone to my first haunted house. I was separated from my group, and thrown into a “butcher shed,” and proceeded to have the living shit scared out of me. One of the actors knew that their mates had gone too far and pretty much came in to save the day. Afterwards, I thought it was the coolest thing and started to laugh at my own fear—which plays massively to the appeal to watch.]

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Before I go into the review...

I will say that the thriller theme to this film made me squirm and made it difficult to watch all the way through. So if you’re squeamish, have trauma-like responses, or have epilepsy, proceed with caution or skip this one altogether.

This film also contains a bunch of NSFW themes, torture, and graphic images (which basically delivers its main purpose, I guess).

(Written by Stella. Edited by Jacob J )

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The Cast:

Brandy Schaeffer as Brandy

Zach Andrews as Zach

Bobby Roe as Bobby

Mikey Roe as Michael (aka Mikey)

Jeff Larson as Jeff

The casting is fairly straightforward, with the actors playing overly exaggerated versions of themselves. Though technically under the lead of director Bobby Roe, the cast all had a hand in writing the film. Pulling double duty is a feat in itself. (It was unfortunate to find in my research that, after the 2017 sequel, the majority of the cast just dropped off the face of the Earth.)

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Summary:

The five childhood friends from Ohio seek out the thrill of the Halloween season, traveling through the deep south of Texas in an RV. They’re stocked up on junk food, booze, drugs, and pure joy that they’re setting out on this journey. For the six days leading up to Halloween, they visit six attractions in the Lone Star state. (technically)

The team begins at a bar in Tyler, Texas, to celebrate the beginning of their trip. In their wasted stupor (and even while sober throughout the film), they make light and joke about how these “haunted attractions” are tame and as fake as the horror films they strive to represent. (Meta as hell, right?)

With each visit, the attractions grow scarier and freakier. Somehow, they piss off a whole gang of creepy-ass characters. Despite being essentially in the middle of nowhere, the aforementioned creep squad (we’re talking clowns, bloody bunnies, backwoods Vorhees groupies, etc.) stalk and terrorize the traveling quintet. The group moves on toward the ultimate attraction, The Blue Skeleton, which they desperately try to find. This leads them on a mystery hunt through word of mouth (and an online horror attraction forum, to the secret location). They eventually wind up heading towards the deep, dark heart of Louisiana, where The Blue Skeleton exceeds every fear that they wanted in the first place—and ends up being their worst nightmare.

The film also gives a small nod to George Romero, the man who changed the way that zombies were seen in pop culture and films, during their visit to a zombie-themed paintball attraction. On top of that, the creators made the film on a very small budget (allegedly). It was given a brief theatrical release in 2014, but years later became a niche gem with a continuing following amongst horror film fans.

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[Likes & Dislikes]

It was incredibly hard to want to complain, consider how the film left my state of mind after watching. But, ultimately, I had to find something for the sake of this review. So I’ll start with the dislikes first, because it’s so worth saving the best for last in this circumstance.

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[Dislikes]:

1.) The first-person filming: Although capturing themes and moments perfectly to keep suspense, it made me super queasy.

- Now, this nitpick isn’t an end-all film-ruiner. With any first person/found-footage deal, there’s a guarantee to feel the rollercoaster like adventure in your gut. (I recommend having a good bowl of ramen or some ginger tea on hand.)

- The filming style 100% captures and cranks every moment of fear, suspense, and terror. It makes you feel like you’re a part of the team. (Found-footage/first-person filming was the original VR, fight me.)

2.) The full on disrespect that the group shows to the attractions.

First attraction: They find a ladder (that’s conveniently left unsupervised, despite not being for patron use). Mikey decides to climb it and steals a megaphone as well. He causes a scene atop the ticket booth and attempts to get a crowd shot for their film at the Haunt House in Caddo Mills, Texas. This pisses off an entire group of creepy-ass clowns that follow them back to their RV. Living up to his unspoken title of Mister Dumbass, Mikey tries to confront them.

● Second attraction: One of the clowns and a broken porcelain doll actress proceeded to follow the crew to this location in Eureka, Texas. Mikey confronts the “doll” when they find her on the side of the road. She follows onto the bus, screams, then slowly leaves.

● Third Attraction: As the group enters Phobia, located by US Highway 248, they’re told not to film past the point of entry. The camera shuts off. When the camera (one that Bobby set up on the RV) comes back on, we see Mikey trying to hook up with one of the contortionist girls. Afterward, when Zach finds out more information about the acclaimed Blue Skeleton, they get confronted by yet another pissed off clown accusing Mikey of filming when they were told not to.

There’s an entire slew of other incidents that I won’t dive into, but I will say one final con:

3.) Brandy just minds her own business the whole time, yet gets the backlash and crossfire from the boys’ shenanigans and dumbassery.

- Honestly the more she got caught in the middle, the more I felt looming dread.

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[Likes/Loves:]

Amidst the (albeit small) annoyances, there was so much that I loved and enjoyed about this film.

1.) Complete out-of-the-gate blurred lines of the entertainment-yet-fear that we seek out in haunted houses.

● Starting from the opening scenes, there’s VHS like footage of fun and upbeat tours from haunted attractions, which evolves into a slow burn of much much darker and horrible secrets/tragedies from them:

- An employee found hung, mistaken as a prop;

- Houses allegedly hiring murderers and criminals without background checks;

- & Actors going as far as breaking bones (but not killing) to scare patrons.

2.) Continuity that never strayed from the film’s theme and/or purpose.

● Through all six attractions that the crew visit, the actors that they seemingly managed to piss off (looking at the real male hubris issues here) follow and stalk them whilst traveling in the middle of nowhere—even all the way to Louisiana.

● With each haunt, the scare level increases, starting with fun and simple baby-type scares and progressing to pure anxiety and nightmare fuel.

(As an aside, I’m honestly still mad that there was no seizure warning for the amount of strobe lights they filmed in the name of fear.)

3.) Consistent foreshadowing

● At the very beginning, they show a gut-wrenching video of a bloodied and tied-up Brandy being shoved into a trunk

● Also, the film seemingly always lingers on Brandy, which gives a small clue as to the haunt creeps having an unhealthy obsession with her.

● At the first attraction, The Haunt House, while the crew films with high spirits, they convince Brandy to playfully get into one of the prop coffins, thinking it’ll be funny. Then the actor nearby shuts the coffin until she screams to let her out.

- Deeper into their travels, they joke about how much they’d want to get paid to be buried alive. At the end, that’s exactly what happens.

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(Final Thoughts)

There are so many heart- and gut-wrenching moments that force you to never look away from the screen. If I’m being honest, the style and story that Bobby Roe created is honestly on par with something you’d see from the acclaimed likes of Kubric and Zombie, among others.

This is such an underrated find. Minus my nitpicks, I’m giving this [9/10] stabs.

(This is the most I’ve been shaken up by a film in a good while.)

Want to get lost and vicariously (not literally) shit your pants? This is the film for you.

[Just don’t piss any clowns off on your way there,K?]

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stella-monstrum · 3 years

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1996′s “Scream” // Stu Macher survives - [Fan Theory]

As a horror movie fan,

My brain is always sort of reimagining and rethinking ways to flip their ideas as a whole, whether it’s fantasy recasting or even changing the ending altogether. Specifically to this piece, I want to focus on 1996’s Scream, written by the legendary Wes Craven. Now, Scream’s essence was to parody and poke fun at what fans know to be ever-so-classic slasher/thriller films.

In honor of what this film was, and all in good fun, I’ve decided to put my own fictional events into a loosely based timeline.

I’m going to be tying in two separate film timelines (very very loosely)—and yes, they both have one actor in common: Matthew Lilard. Matthew was a huge part of my childhood, and I’m sure he was a big part in others’. For this piece I’m focusing on both Scream and 2002’s live-action Scooby Doo films that featured Lillard.

Stu Macher // Scream (1996) screencap / source: google images

Theatrical poster for Scream (1996). (Source: Amazon)

(I’m not going to incorporate the Mystery Gang or even Scooby, focusing more so on a fictional similarity basis.

Disclaimer: This is obviously just a satirical piece because well, I wanted to write it. I don’t own the characters, rights, yadda yadda. Also, potential spoilers for various movies ahead.)

(written by Stella, edited by Jacob J.)

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Stu Macher

As an 18-year-old high-schooler, Stu Macher appeared as the seemingly peculiar boyfriend of Casey Becker (Drew Barrymore), but became entangled in revenge by his best friend Billy Loomis (Skeet Ulrich).

Their 1st victim was Maureen Prescott, who had an affair with Billy’s father, causing Billy’s mother to leave. (They got away with it by framing Cotton Weary, Maureen’s rapist from years prior.)

One year later, to celebrate, Billy and Stu terrorize fellow students, particularly Casey, who’d left Stu for another man (Steve).

Stu ultimately meets his “fatal” demise after being hit over the head with a vase, then a television, by Sidney—which seemed to electrocute Stu and end his reign of terror.

If you’re a fan of the franchise, you know the deal. If you don’t, then you can catch up here.

Stu Macher’s death-by-TV scene. (Source: Tumblr. Watch the scene on Youtube)

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Now just for fun, imagine that Stu somehow survived this attack. You’re probably wondering, “How the everloving hell could he survive?” Just work with me here.

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Stu’s (fictional) survival story:

What if...

After seemingly killing Stu,

Sidney calls the police. She’s absolutely still mortified, but she wants to explain what she’s done and also obviously tell them all about the mass killings that Stu and Billy committed.

Stu is barely hanging on to life. The police call an ambulance and escort him to the local hospital for treatment under close police watch. Stu winds up suffering from traumatic brain injury.

When he’s functioning enough, after questioning and court decision that placing him into a jail wouldn’t be fit, Stu is admitted into a high security psychiatric hospital. During questioning, Stu cannot recall what had happened and shows signs of dissociative episodes.

Matthew Lillard as Shaggy in the live-action Scooby-Doo (2002). (Source: Google Images.)

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Whilst in this psychiatric hospital,

Stu takes on this very laid back, hippy state, growing his hair out and taking a lax, almost spiritual mindset. (Mind you, this is all a scheme.) With this change in his behaviour, the hospital allows Stu to help run some recreational crafting and board game-like activities.

During this time he connects with a fellow patient, Mary.

They begin to bond, and he eventually convinces her to help him escape from there. Stu gives Mary the “I can’t be in here anymore, you see? I have a higher purpose, to help others on the other side of these walls” blah blah metaphysical spiel. Stu, with Mary’s help, escapes the ward by knocking out a guard with a vase (like Sidney did to him).

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Fast forward a bit...

Stu winds up creating and taking on the new identity of “Shaggy Rogers,” deciding to move back to California—but not in a home. He...well, “borrows” a beaten down van and lives as sort of a vagabond. He still keeps track of the goings-on in his old stomping grounds as copycat ghostfaces continue where he and Billy left off.

Scream newspaper prop. (Source: This Etsy listing)

Stu, now Shaggy, begins to feel guilty and vows to dedicate his life to following cases and crimes by himself.

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Years later...

Whilst headed on vacation, Shaggy is reunited by fate with Mary on the same plane. They reconcile and catch up the entire flight.

Shaggy and Mary Jane from 2002’s live-action Scooby-Doo film. (Source: Google Images.)

The island, disguised as an amusement park, has been accused of performing ritualistic killings and is home to a brainwashed cult.

Little does Shaggy know that Mary Jane knows exactly who he truly was— or that, someday, she would take out a planned revenge on the unsuspecting Stu.

Mary begs and ultimately convinces Shaggy to allow her to be by his side and help him.

Shaggy and Mary Jane from 2002’s live-action Scooby-Doo film. (Source: Google Images.)

When it’s all said and done, Mary is one of the island’s cult members, stringing Stu along, luring him to his true death and demise.

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I know this piece was incredibly out of left field, but I had such a damn blast creating this hypothetical situation. Maybe one day, Lillard will give this a read and know how much of a part he had in a lot of people’s childhoods.

Lillard responding to a fan’s tweet. (Source: junkee)

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stella-monstrum · 3 years

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Why WB Studio’s (2009) “Orphan” fell into the true crime trap that it set for itself. (R) (2hrs)

“WB falls into the trap that they set themselves up for in True Crime”

Quarantine has hit me hard with cabin fever, as I’m sure it has for others. What would we do without YouTube, Hulu, and other streaming services? Let’s be honest—healthy habits in a pandemic need some lazy couch sessions. When I sit down and choose to dedicate my time scrolling and deciding what film to watch, I don’t want my choice to be totally blown (unlike the dad in this film), a waste of time, and unentertaining.

I’ve heard some pretty good things about this film going in (thanks to the ever-reliable Facebook Horror Buff groups /sarcasm.) So, I figured that it couldn’t hurt to give Warner Bros.’ 2009 film Orphan a chance to amaze me. There was an ever-endless buzz about this film’s ending that left people shocked.

I’m not bragging here, but I’ve watched plenty of Law and Order, which pretty much made this “shocker” ending a dead giveaway—which was a shame, but after two hours...well, we’ll get to that.

(SPOILERS, mostly- ahead)

(Written by Stella, edited by Jacob J.)

Cast:

Vera Farmiga—Kate Coleman (Mother)

Peter Sarsgaard—John Coleman (Father)

Jimmy Bennett—Daniel Cole (Son)

Aryana Engineer—Max Coleman (younger daughter)

Isabella Fuhrman—Esther (Adopted daughter)

The Coleman Family, top to bottom: John, Kate, Daniel, Max & Esther (Source: Google Images)

(Other cast;)

C.C. H. Pounder—Sister Abigail (Local Orphanage worker)

Margo Martindale—Dr. Browning (Therapist)

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I’m not going to give you a full movie synopsis because, honestly, if you feel the desire to watch a two-hour film, you deserve a reward. Also, this film gave me some serious American Horror Story season one vibes, plus a higher production value of Law & Order.

Kate and John Coleman are immediately introduced to the viewer as a couple that, admittedly, have some problems. Their kids (Max, the partially deaf youngest, and Daniel, a typical bratty prepubescent boy) are the glue that holds them together (as well as, apparently, love- and aren’t “that” quiet showing that to eachother). Let’s dive into some character analysis.

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Kate Coleman:

(Source: Google Images)

The issues, at face value, are semi-noticeable within Kate. She has nightmares of losing her third child during a bloody stillbirth and hits the pills pretty hard because of her anxieties.

She deeply loves and would do anything to protect her children, yet she yearns to give her love for her lost unborn child who they call “Jessica”.

Kate is also shown as a high-class pianist and, later on in the film, as a high-functioning recovering alcoholic.

During a years-before wine binge, she left Max unsupervised—which led to the child wandering out near the large pond on the property and almost drowning.

She was led to drinking because of the loss of her unborn child with added betrayal from John.

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John Coleman:

(Source: Google Images)

Off the bat, John is shown as the laid-back and cool father type. He is an architect who has an issue with infidelity.

John is a loving father, and if it weren’t for him jumping in for the save, their youngest girl Max would have died.

He has wandering eyes towards women who aren’t his wife, and has cheated previously on Kate.

He winds up being a total dumbass who gets what he deserves.

IMO, he has hardcore gaslighting traits and constantly denies everything.

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Max Coleman (youngest daughter):

Max saving her mother, Kate- from Esther/Leena (Source: Google Images)

This is where we get to some bright parts of the film.

Max was born partially deaf, and throughout the two hours, they heavily display sign language and incorporate complete sound loss so the viewer can experience the film via her point of view.

In my opinion, Max is the absolute strongest character. Even though she’s a young child and has what could be considered weak traits, she legitimately doesn’t take any shit.

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Daniel Coleman (eldest child):

(Source: Google Images)

He honestly comes off as an angsty and annoying brat at first. He outright refuses to accept the adoption of Esther and tortures her in school. In Daniel’s case, what goes around truly does come around, and he does suffer.

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Esther (the title Orphan):

Esther, after killing Sister Abigail (Source; blu-ray.com)

At her introduction, Esther comes off as extremely charming and sweet, which is what initially draws Kate and John in to adopting her. She paints and sings—repeatedly this, which is creepy as fuck in itself.

Esther (as an orphan from Russia, mind you), picks up sign language very quickly on the car ride home, and shows some shady- well, borderline psychotic traits.

She’s very sneaky

She keeps a hidden journal with photos of dead men

She also has an incredibly mature understanding of life

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Look, trying to explain the plot of this film is rough.

I certainly don’t want to say the same repetitive things that online reviewers copy and paste. I honestly don’t want to get into every little detail because finding anything good aside from Max is a struggle.

Warner Brothers had a $20 million budget and grossed double that (and then some) with $78 million in box office sales, which speaks for some appeal. They captured such a cinematic charm and didn’t get to the nitty gritty until about 45 minutes or so in.

I don’t mind slow-paced character build up to the peak of when bad things start to happen.

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I loved the fact that they were able to allude to and foreshadow important plot points, the suspense in the background score, and the two youngest actresses’ performances. Right off the bat, though, they try so hard to jumpscare you, which gets tedious. With the amount of attention-grabbing moments, they have just as much—if not more—unnecessarily drawn-out filler.

More or less, despite her charm, Esther slowly drives a wedge between the family of four. What should be sickening and horrific moments that lead up to the ultimate twist made me despise every single character by the time we got there, and it seemed like a poorly coordinated dissent that Dr. Phil would have a field day with.

I hate that I disliked Orphan because I was elated to jump into the watch. Isabella and Aryana were the absolute standout stars. Some scenes were genuinely uncomfortable—not even in the “it’s a film that’s supposed to be that way” sense.

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My biggest issue however...

I expected more from the “big deal” co-production and international backing. Sure, the real horrors of self/human-made destruction can be capitalized on.

There’s a massive true crime wave that’s an industry in itself, and the fact that humans with dwarfism pose as children who swindle, abuse, and destroy/seduce their adopted families home is really fucked up. This production fell into the trap that, even though it’s a film and supposed to feel like horror, came off as just a bad copy of the very thing it was meant to portray. (Also the scene where Esther, rather, Leena- who ends up actually being an adult who suffers from dwarfism, tries to seduce John? It isn’t professional. It’s nasty. And John got what he deserved for not believing Kate’s concerns, calling his wife crazy, saying that she was the problem, and chose Esther as his daughter over his own family.) Let me clarify; nasty because of the actresses age at that time.

It felt that they completely wasted the actors and budget, and the movie failed to be scary.

I wanted this to be nothing but glowing. I really did. But, as it seems, sometimes not everyone will have nice things to say about a popular film. If I had to rate this, it’d barely scale past 1.5.

(Source: Google Images)

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stella-monstrum · 3 years

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Aislinn Clarke; Tackling the very real horror of the Irish Catholic Church’s History. (The Devil’s Doorway, 2018) // (IFC Midnight, 1hr 16mins)

To me, one of the many great things about the horror genre is that there’s no set way to define—or write—what one considers “evil.”

Whether it be supernatural, animalistic, demonic—you name it, it can be made into something utterly scarring or frightening. One of the major issues with the genre is the fact that, when women throw their name as directors or writers in the ol’ horror hat, they are immediately not taken as seriously, their hard work is dismissed as a joke—but we’ll get to that later on.

I had a notion to explore Hulu once again to find a film that would really bring some chills and deep thought after viewing. One perk of Hulu: it allows you to watch any film’s trailer. Upon viewing the trailer for 2018′s The Devil’s Doorway, it came across as a run-of-the-mill “evil possession within a church” type film—which was totally fine. But the thing that grabbed my attention most? The fact that it was filmed on 16MM grainy type actual film reel. That was the hook, line, and sinker for myself.

Theatrical poster for The Devil’s Doorway (2018). (Source: IMDB)

Now a little background about the film's production, which plays a massive part to its plot.

The film had a female writer and director: Aislinn Clarke, who wanted to bring light to the many and still-relevant human/man-made horror in the world, specifically from Ireland. The main source and story is centered around places that were called, Magdalene Laundries (or Magdalene Asylums). They were run by the Roman Catholic church and would host women who were prostitutes, orphans, and victims of abuse, as well as unmarried pregnant women and those labeled as mentally unstable. Later, these facilities also took in women who challenged the traditional gender roles and norms, thus deemed sinful by the church. While staying at these laundries, these women would suffer further abuse, mistreatment, and torture. This practice went on for over 200 years.

In an interview with Indiewire, Clarke stated, “I had my son when I was 17, which was the year after the last Magdalene Laundry closed. People think these places existed a very long time ago, but that was 1997; the last one had closed in 1996. I was 17 and unmarried. I could have been in one if the circumstances had been different.” She went on to say, “So you had nowhere to turn. Every person was complicit in a way, because everybody knew that they were there and what was happening. So girls could be plucked out of schools and sent to these places. That was the direct result of the Catholic Church apparatus, which created a situation where vulnerable people could be exploited for so long.”

[Upon reading some of the film reviews myself, I became very angered—angered by the fact that some people dismissed all of the horrific issues tackled solely because there wasn’t enough unpredictable scares or that the film made no sense to them. Women were abused for over 200 years, and mass graves of children were found in an investigation of these “Laundries”—yet their biggest concern was just that it wasn’t scary enough. Needless to say that, while writing this piece, I am entirely fuming.]

One final quote from Clarke’s interview: “I’m quite happy to defend what I said about this film and about this situation here in Ireland. It was a comment on the potential for a church state to become somewhere where evil happens and evil can be nurtured.”

Obviously, in fairness and gender aside, everyone’s view of horror will be different. But it is still very much something to be brought to attention in this piece.

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[IMPORTANT NOTE: this film tackles the still (very) relevant issues and horrors of women’s rights, scandals/lies/deception within the Catholic Church, abuse, abortion, maternal morality, etc.]

WARNING: Some spoilers ahead.

(Written by Stella, edited by Jacob J)

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The Cast;

Lalor Roddy // Father Thomas Riley

Ciaran Flynn // Father John Thornton

Helena Bereen // Mother Superior

Lauren Coe // Kathleen

Dearbhail Lynch // Eileen Murphy

Carleen Melaugh // Sister Maria Louise

The film itself mainly follows the elder priest Father Thomas Riley, and his eager apprentice and Father John Thornton.

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Film summary/Synopsis:

Set in October of 1960, two Catholic priests are sent out by the Vatican to a Magdalene Laundry after receiving an anonymous letter that reported the ongoings of a miracle taking place within it. The miracle, you ask? The chapel statue of the Virgin Mary caught on photo that was weeping blood. Yes, weeping blood.

The statue of Mary weeping blood. (Screencap, The Devil’s Doorway, 2018. Source: Google Images.)

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Upon asking Mother Superior about the reported miracle, she informs both Thomas and John that they’ve been duped—which hardly deters them from digging further into. (To me, this felt like a trap.) To get to the bottom of who might have potentially written the letter, Father Thomas asks for a list of all the women residents, nuns, and children who were currently staying there. Mother Caramel then lets them know that during the war, the laundry shut the children’s wing down.

(Mother Superior, screencap; “The Devil’s Doorway’ 2018) Source; Google Images

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Throughout the days that Fathers Thomas and John stay at the Laundry, they capture clear abuse of the women by Mother Superior. Ghastly children give warnings (to John specifically) that they’re going to die, keeping him awake with laughter, taunting nursery rhymes, and the constant appearance of a clown puppet in the first half and then later on towards the end of the film.

During the first two nights of John being plagued, and from the start of their investigation, Thomas is very doubtful of the younger man’s ghostly accounts, let alone that there is no miracle taking place. Thomas tells John that “it’s more fun to believe that the ongoings aren’t fraudulent” and that he does believe in both man-made miracles and evils.Thomas also believes that someone has planted a tube inside of the statue that is responsible for producing the blood.

Father John, on camera (Screencap, “The Devil’s Doorway” 2018) Source; Google Images

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The entirety of the film, Father Thomas says many relevant quotes that foreshadows the levels of evil that keep the viewer guessing.

It was very refreshing to see the ghost children helping in their own creepy way. (Bloody handprints as a hint, multiple chants of “they’re going to kill you,” and appeals to Father John that something was very wrong in the place.)

When John doubts Thomas’ faith, he asks the elder why he became a priest. Thomas tells him that the reason was because his brother, a doctor, was his mothers favorite—but also that he wanted to be closer with God.

Father Thomas stood outside the laundry (Screencap, “The Devil’s Doorway” 2018) Source; Google Images

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As the investigation continues,

with no sight of new blood from the chapel statue, Thomas voices his disgust for the way the women are being treated, disgust of the Catholic Church, and disgust at the Laundry for being a living hell. Upon his admission, every single statue of Mary in the Church begins to weep blood. Thomas was then able to get a fresh sample that tested as type O-negative with markers for pregnancy. They then rally all the pregnant women for testing, but none come back as a match.

(At this point, to me, the main evil itself seems to be Mother Superior Caramel.)

Ridden with guilt, the women who had written the letter (along with other nuns) come forward to reveal that Mother Superior was concealing that very bad things were happening. They also revealed that they kept a poorly taken-care-of, very pregnant woman shackled in the mental asylum part of the building. The locked up woman, Kathleen, reveals that she, too, sees the dead children and that it’s her responsibility to be their mother. Kath also shows very clear signs of possession: speaking a foreign language, exhibiting inhuman strength, spinning crosses, catching fire—y’know, the usual. (Brief clip: HERE.)

Kathleen chained up prior to being properly taken care of. (Screencap, The Devil’s Doorway, 2018. Source: Google Images)

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From this point forward, the film gets a bit hard to follow. I’m saying that after watching and enjoying the film three times back to back. So I’m just going to cover the need-to-knows.

1.) When speaking demon Greek, Kathleen—well, whatever is possessing her—reveals that Father Thomas was born in a Laundry.

2.) There’s a few blink-and-you’ll-miss-it illusions. For a quick moment, Kathleen breaks out of her room, causing statues to explode and leading both Fathers to a concealed ritual room in the basement. When they go to get Mother Superior, it is no longer there. Also, one scene features multiple shadow hands appearing in the privacy glass of Kathleen’s birthing room.

3.) With what seems like Kath’s nonsense, Thomas confronts Mother about forging false records on the children’s whereabouts, accusing her of killing them. Mother reveals that she sold them to gain funds for the Laundry.

4.) After giving birth, Kathleen dies, and her corpse weeps blood. It seems like the occasionally hinted-at Satanic Nuns kidnap the baby for this ritual. They’re led on a wild goose chase solely by the baby’s crying and the ghost children throughout the building. 5.) They (Fathers John and Thomas) find Mother Superior dead and discover the boarded-up source of where the crying is coming from. The further into the depths they go, they find piles of bones. The pure fear makes Thomas reveal that he was born an orphan and lied about having a mother and brother, afterward apologizing for being so stubborn. 6.) John and Thomas get chased by a demonic nun and get separated. The nun kills John, and Thomas takes it upon himself to finish this horrible journey. He leaves a “final” chilling confession, and offers his own life if it will save Kathleen’s baby. 7.) The closer he gets, Thomas finds a group of nuns performing a ritual and chanting demonic things. They quickly disappear, leaving a red baby’s blanket that appears to be holding a child. When Thomas makes his way towards it, the blanket is empty. 8.) Thomas is greeted by the sight of a demon and dead-like older woman (dressed like a nun), that welcomes him home—before killing him.

This unknown woman greets Thomas before killing him. Screencap, The Devil’s Doorway, 2018. Source: Google Images)

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The ending and, as a result,

the interpretation of the movie’s meaning will change from person to person. It feels, to me, like Thomas was purposely lured to face the past that he was hiding—that he was the final piece to the ritual that was playing hide and seek with revealing itself. Overall, it was such a brilliant film that I had absolutely no complaints about. (Aside from having to watch it with subtitles because the accents were so thick.)

The film’s plot, combined with oh-so-subtle body language of its actors, the dramatic film score, eerie prayers/chants, and perfectly timed jumpscares, provided plenty enough to earn a 10/10 from me.

If you want to be left with unforgettable imagery and thought-provoking feelings that last for days? I fully recommend this.

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stella-monstrum · 3 years

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“Cult King of Haunts & Certified Cool Dad”; Bobby Roe (Interview)

Admittedly, I’m quite behind the times.

Though, it’s never too late to sink your teeth into a new-to-you horror film, past or present. Specifically for this article, I’d recommend taking a look at The Houses October Built, directed, produced, written, and acted in by Bobby Roe.

This 2014 film started a franchise continued (and topped by) the 2017 sequel, aptly named The Houses October Built 2. Over the past seven years the franchise has become a cult hit, especially with films like The Blue Skeleton, which has been kept very much alive through word of mouth and the internet. (Listen, it’s freaky levels of fourth wall breakage.)

For the October film fraternal twins, Roe not only blurred the line between the frights, scares, and shit-yourself experiences that millions seek every Halloween season in haunted attractions across the US—he also flipped the norm on its head through the first person experience of found-footage films. Both films not only make you feel like you’ll be grabbed right through the screen, but also make you feel like you’re a part of the thrill seeking gang.

The found-film genre has been around for quite some time, popularized in 1999 with films like The Blair Witch Project. Every film under that genre has to constantly find new and innovative ways (sometimes actually getting police involved) to convince filmgoers to give it a shot. Roe not only sought out real haunted attractions within the deep south of Texas and Louisiana but also marketed the first film by creating a very real list of the attractions and making it available to the potential viewing public. By the second, the haunts literally came to them, with park reps and others reaching out to Bobby in hopes of showing the range that the holiday haunts had to offer.

(Bobby Roe; source - IMDB)

(Article & Interview cont. below)

As of this writing in 2021, Roe is working along with eleven others to form a new anthology horror series called Isolation. As producer Nathan Crooker describes it to Variety:

“Isolation explores the human condition through a genre lens, weaved together in an anthology experience. The films live under a banner of survival and deal with relatable themes such as human connection, paranoia, hope, love, escapism, fear of the unknown, abandonment and opportunism. Like any good horror film, the themes transcend the genre.” (Source)

The filmmakers were only allowed to use whatever resources that they had within their own homes. As for Roe? He got his two children involved in the project.

(The “Isolation” film poster [Created by Christopher Shy, source bloody-disgusting.com])

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On top of that, he also wrote a children’s book titled Narah the Whale and has multiple projects in the works currently put on hold due to the pandemic.

As an aspiring indie horror screenplay writer, I was so incredibly impressed by the methodical mind of Bobby Roe. I had the opportunity to write up this interview that I held with the Cult King of Haunts and certified Cool Dad.

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1.) You’re a very involved filmmaker, producer, writer, and father. What was becoming a dad like for you? Also, what was the “a-ha” moment that led your kids, to them becoming involved in the Isolation project?

[Roe: Becoming a father inevitably makes you question some content for better or worse in the horror film business. My children love Halloween, not sure if that is a hereditary trait or not, but there are enough masks in the house to be infectious. The A-Ha moment was making a film with them. Initially I was turning the opportunity down. They are young, and as hard as the lockdown was it gave me an opportunity to spend more time with them in formative years. I knew how time consuming ISOLATION would be, so I worked backwards and Zack Andrews and I came up with a more Lord of the Flies approach that could involve the whole family. I'm so proud of my kids on what they pulled off, my daughter in particular was only 5 and she improved a monologue for 7 minutes that I obviously couldn't fully use, but I was blown away.]

Bobby Roe’s twitter photo of his two children [Source])

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2.) When you were in the process of writing your children’s book, Narah The Whale (alongside friend and fellow RV tourist, Zach Andrews), what wonder from your own childhood did you use as inspiration?

[Roe: It always bothered me since I was a kid that most people thought Narwhals were mythical creatures. Just because they weren't in aquariums, people were unaware. I know there is a craze now, but I started this book for my unborn daughter in 2014 to hopefully talk to many children and give them an origin story for their favorite animal.]

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3.) Let’s go back to 2014, during the early success of the Houses franchise. Blurring the lines of what people seek yet also fear came across as a breath of reimagined fresh air.

Question; How long was the actual process of finding the six or so haunts, and did you realize how incredibly accurate the escalating fear was where people actually want to scuffle with the haunt actors?

[Roe: If people don't feel terrified in a haunt, they think they were ripped off. We wanted to make the most real found footage movie you could at the time. I just wanted you to argue what was real and what was fake after leaving the theater.]

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4.) During quarantine, obviously everyone’s plans are put on hold.

Question; What is your current most anticipated project that you’ve got in the chamber, and has quarantine at all changed your view on the horror genre?

[Roe: I'm very proud of what was pulled off with ISOLATION in the height of quarantine with zero crew. It was a kick in the teeth to not be able to film A WICKED TALE in June. It was postponed with lockdown so I am really looking forward to 2021 to get that in the can. Zack and I have worked almost 3 years on it.]

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5.) In slow burn storytelling, what is the biggest obstacle you face as far as keeping a viewer like myself glued to the screen while producing gut churning visuals without blood?

[Roe: It gets harder everyday. Especially with streaming. I need you to hang around for HOB 1 & 2 for both endings. But if you don't take the slow burn it won’t work. We knew people would be rude, go to their phones, so I made sure every place and interview you could look up that it was 100% real. I think that adds to the terror.]

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6.) In the first Houses film, there are so many hilarious breather moments—from making clown dick jokes, rapping around a campfire, and you even scaring the hell out of Mikey in a mask.

Question: Were there any other hilarious (maybe improvised) moments that we didn’t get to see? And is there any prank competitiveness between you and your brother Mikey?

[Roe: You try to have waves. Goal #1 before scaring you, was to make sure you wanted to be in this RV and on the road trip with us. I hope that was pulled off. Tried to buck the formula a tad. There is almost no blood and everyone is platonic (despite what people think with Zack and Brandy in bed scene). That was designed to show lack of bed options and she is like our sister that we protect. Brandy is so good in these movies to me, she is my secret weapon. As far as Mike and I, we compete more with the creative than we do on jokes. Most pranks we are in on it together.]

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7.) What non-horror genre literature character would you personally take from any era and turn into a one-sentence pitch for a horror film?

[Roe: Edmond Dantes. The Count of Monte Cristo (wouldn't have to change the title). But Edmond is murdered but saved as a vampire. The Count comes back and tears the fucking town apart. Only he and Mercedes are left in the entire town after he stacks the bodies. They live happily ever after...forever.]

(”The Count of Monte Cristo, 1888 illustrated edition) (Source; Amazon)

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8.) If you could create anything into a “horror film trope” that isn’t already existent, what would it be?

[Roe: Honestly, I want a new kill I've never dreamed of in every horror movie. So sick of the same shit over and over. Prerequisite is every slasher needs a new kill or be gone.]

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9.) What is the one subject/hobby outside of filmmaking would people be surprised that you’re fascinated by?

[Roe: Scuba Diving. It's very much like horror. You have no fucking idea what's over that reef or abyss. I love that feeling. They also say there is 8 billion in undiscovered treasure out there. That doesn't hurt the adventure.]

It was such a cool experience to bring a fresh perspective from the mind of Bobby Roe. Stay tuned for what he’s got planned for 2021!

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stella-monstrum · 3 years

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Rob Zombie; "Why it's time to step outside the confinements of his own box."

For close to four decades,

Rob Zombie has brought nonstop psychedelic grooves and a rockstar presence while gracing his own music and the silver screen with gut-churning, drug-tripping visuals. He not only commands quite the presence in films (whether his own successes or others’), but also makes appearances within many other horror soundtracks. There’s no denying that Zombie is a bloodied savant who has stayed incredibly consistent.

[ᴿᵒᵇ ᶻᵒᵐᵇᶦᵉ. ⁽ˢᵒᵘʳᶜᵉ: ᴳᵒᵒᵍˡᵉ ᴵᵐᵃᵍᵉˢ⁾]

(Written by Stella, edited by Jacob J.)

(Side note; tumblr’s photo formatting is a pain)

Let’s take a dive into his music before getting into his film library. From 1985-1997, White Zombie released six albums (between studio and compilations). La Sexorcisto: Devil Music Volume One didn’t break into the Billboard 200 chart until a year after its 1992 release. Shortly thereafter, it became the hot and groovy bong success of the band, going on to sell two million copies. Astro Creep 2000, their final and fourth studio release, was their first and only album to chart within the Top 10 of the Billboard 200 in 1995. Up to this day in 2020, “White Zombie” has been featured in 47 TV, film, and video game soundtracks, from Beavis & Butthead to Pen15 to Bride Of Chucky (which includes a personal favorite moment of mine), amongst many others.

After the disbandment and separation, Zombie continued on his solo journey. He has gone on to release six studio albums, with a seventh on the way in March 2021, titled The Lunar Injection Kool Aid Eclipse Conspiracy. A multitude of hits—eight to be exact—sat within the Top 10 of the Billboard 200 records.

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Zombie’s extensive film career is a “Super Beast” on its own.

He has been very vocal about gaining inspiration from 1920s-1980s horror culture. In many interviews, he’s cited Stan Lee, Bella Lugosi, Alice Cooper, and Steven Speilberg as being responsible for molding the brain that we know today.

Some of his influences include:

George A. Romero’s Dawn of the Dead (1978)

A Clockwork Orange (1971)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)

The Shining (1980)

Zombie’s upbringing in the carnival industry alongside his family is another key influence.

[[I’ll only be focusing on Zombie’s live-action films here.]]

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In 2000, Rob made his directorial and (very memorable) screen debut with House Of 1000 Corpses.

It took three years to be released because of quarrels with major production companies regarding the film’s majorly aggressive themes of torture, blood, violence, sex—not to mention his arrogance with MGM, fighting to get rights back from Universal. Eventually, Lionsgate bit the bullet, albeit with the major stipulation of having Rob edit it down much further so House could pass with a “tame” R rating.

[[House of 1000 Corpses: Rainn Wilson as taxidermy merman (Source: Tumblr—and if you’re brave, you can view the scene here.)]]

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In 2005 and 2019, the franchise’s next two installments—Devil’s Rejects and 3 From Hell—were released. The franchise is heavily influenced by the shocking, sickening, and unforgettable ’70s classic Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It follows a family of psychotic, sadistic, and bloodthirsty (if I’m being honest) necrophiliacs. They kidnap, kill, torture and brutalize anyone who gets in their way. At the end of Devil’s Rejects, they somehow manage to survive a police shootout, escape prison, and waltz on into Mexico (as seen in the franchise finale 3 from Hell).

Look, it’s all complicated.

Main Characters from the franchise:

Captain Spaulding—Sid Haig

Baby Firefly—Sheri Moon Zombie

Otis B. Driftwood—Bill Moseley

Momma Firefly—Karen Black (recast as Leslie Easterbrook after Karen’s passing)

(Other notable appearances throughout: Chris Hardwick, Rainn Wilson, Danny Trejo, Dee Wallace, Ken Foree, and Diamond Dallas Page.)

⁽“ʰᵒᵘˢᵉˢ ᵗʳⁱˡᵒᵍʸ”, ᵈᵛᵈ ˢᵉᵗ﹔ ˢᵒᵘʳᶜᵉ﹔ ᵗᵃʳᵍᵉᵗ.ᶜᵒᵐ⁾

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The notorious/controversial Halloween (John Carpenter, 1978) remakes from 2007 and 2009.

(ᵃ ᵛⁱᵉʷ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵒˣ ᵃʳᵗ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉ ʰᵃˡˡᵒʷᵉᵉⁿ ʳᵉᵐᵃᵏᵉˢ ⁽ˢᵒᵘʳᶜᵉ﹕ ᵃᵐᵃᶻᵒⁿ⁾)

Look, this is a remake that you either adore or hate with a burning passion. If you’re a horror fanatic, you know what’s up with the original.

I personally adore Zombie’s take. The fact alone that he gave us an entire background story as to why Michael became the psychotic slasher that we’ve come to know and love. Plus, with an increased suspense and gore factor? Worked incredibly well and did justice (in my opinion).

The film made me feel bad for Michael, with moments of child Myers in therapy, particularly his love for making masks to pass the time while he was locked up and the touching family moments between him and his mother Deborah (Sheri Moon).

ᵈᵉᵇᵒʳᵃʰ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵐⁱᶜʰᵃᵉˡ ᵐᵉʸᵉʳˢ ⁱⁿ ʲᵃⁱˡ ᵗʰᵉʳᵃᵖʸ. ⁽ˢᶜʳᵉᵉⁿᶜᵃᵖ, ʰᵃˡˡᵒʷᵉᵉⁿ. ˢᵒᵘʳᶜᵉ﹕ ᵍᵒᵒᵍˡᵉ⁾

[Michael’s cell in the 2007 Halloween remake. (Source: Google)]

Add in the supporting cast of Michael McDowell (Loomis), Brad Douriff (Sheriff Leigh), Scout Taylor-Compton (Laurie Strode), etc., and I honestly think that it came together very well as a remake.

The films rated relatively low, but they did gross higher than the budgets that they originally had to film on. Again, I’m not going to give much attention to the higher-ups of critical perception—it all comes down to personal taste.

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“Lords of Salem” (2013)

[[Promotional art for Lords of Salem. (Souce: Google Images)]]

A film that’s centered within Salem, Massachusetts,

this film—you guessed it—tackles witches, occultism, possession, Satan, and all the usual topics. Heidi (Sherri Moon) is a radio DJ who gets sent a mysterious record that’s labeled as being from “The Lords.” From then on out, shit gets a little dicey and admittedly, very disjointed. You can’t fault the cast here, and I loved the visuals that they were going for. However, with set schedule conflicts and multiple rewrites, which led to essentially running out of time to film? As a whole, what looked great on paper just couldn’t be done justice.

My FAVORITE sequence within the film (SPOILERS):

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I can forgive the disjointedness solely because of how mind-boggling and brilliant the film’s history and proper visuals were. Also, we got to see Dee Wallace, Judy Geeson, and Patricia Quinn as creepy and badass witches who moonlight as Heidi’s landlords. Also Meg Foster who leads their coven? Can we talk about what a femme-fueled power cast that is?!

[[Left to right: Patricia Quinn as Megan, Dee Wallace as Sonny, and Judy Geeson as Lacy Doyle. (Screencap, Lords of Salem. Source: Google) ]]

[[Meg Foster as coven leader Margaret Morgan. (Screencap, Lords of Salem. Source; google)]]

Like I said prior, the film gets a little wild. If you’re...well, buzzed prior to watching, it may make a little more sense.

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“31” (2016)

[[Film poster for 31 (Source: Google)]]

[Synopsis from IMDB; “Five carnival workers are kidnapped and held hostage in an abandoned, hellish compound where they are forced to participate in a violent game, the goal of which is to survive twelve hours against a gang of sadistic clowns.”]

Here, we clearly see that Zombie is invoking his childhood growing up within carnivals. In a 2013 interview with LA Weekly, Zombie divulged more about it:

“When we were kids, my parents would [work at the carnivals], and me and my brother would get dragged along to these things all the time and have to work.”

He went further on to say;

“Yeah, and it's not the nicest world. As a kid, you get exposed to the crazier underworld of the carnival. Me and my brother, when we were very little, we'd be inside the haunted house playing all day. So, already, what people are paying money to be scared [of], we're just playing in because it's fun. We saw the inner workings behind the machines.”

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(”31″ trailer, source; Youtube)

Once again in this film, Zombie brings a powerhouse cast:

Jeff Daniel Phillips as Roscoe Pepper

Meg Foster as Venus Virgo

Malcom McDowell as Father Murder

Judy Geeson as Sister Dragon

Richard Brake as Doom Head

You can view the entire cast at IMDB here.

Set in 1976, Zombie stays true to his nods. Again, depending on taste, this is a huge hit or a wild miss with mindless homicidal violence, campiness, and climbs across the monkey bar of standards that we’re used to seeing from him.

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So at this point, you’re probably wondering why I think that it’s time for Rob Zombie to step out of the confinements of his own box...

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It’s no secret that Zombie sticks to only a small group of tropes:

Slashers, families or groups of homicidals that lack remorse, the occult, etc. There’s no shame in sticking to what you know. Hell, Zombie has seemingly cracked the code over the past two decades that he’s been in the film industry that so many directors still don’t seem to get.

IMO, despite whatever you personally feel about the films mentioned above- I feel like we’re living a freaky groundhog day repeat within Zombie’s filmography.

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Now, if it ain’t broke, why fix it? Look, I’m not saying that Zombie has to change anything. However, I would love to see him tackle some other nuances that we’ve already seen from him in small doses.

- Children: We haven’t seen Zombie exactly take on what horror films depict kids as. Sure, he made a breakout and impeccable choice with young Michael Myers (Daeg Faerch) back in 2007. I personally would adore to see a reimagined (NOT remade) Children of the Corn on acid, one we all know Zombie can tackle and turn every existing view on its head.

- Witchcraft, The Occult, Satan, Voodoo: Zombie genuinely had a phenomenal concept (on paper) for 2012’s Lords of Salem. It was unfortunate that they ran out of resources and ran into unfortunate circumstances on set while filming.

The film wasn’t a total tank, though, given how inspiring and insane all the visuals were throughout the 1 hr, 41min film. I am absolutely positive that, given a full-force opportunity, Rob could rectify the mess that was out of his control. We completely saw that he provided visuals that left quite the impression, and he could take those taboo subjects by the goat horns.

- Animals (not the human form): It’s no secret that Rob and his wife Sherri are ethical vegetarians. It would be so tongue and cheek to see them take on such topics as animals getting their revenge, or even vegetarians torturing carnivores. This twist on the formula would make for an interesting viewing.

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2.) In regard to time periods,

Zombie stays within—and pays homage to—the 1970s and 1980s quite a bit. Obviously, those are the eras that Zombie personally loves the most when it comes to filmmaking. However, it would be very interesting to see him take on current day settings.

Zombie has such a unique viewpoint. Given changing climates in politics, human decline/growth, the economy, etc., he would do work that could easily put Ryan Murphy to shame.

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3.) He could also do with some different casting every now and then.

Let me preface this by saying that I adore every repeat casting choice that Zombie has made for his films.

Of course chemistry is a huge thing, and sticking to his friends is a very smart choice. However, he also has the potential to make new stars, boosting the power of those that may be under the radar. He can support those new stars with cameos from classic actors that we haven’t seen in awhile. I can’t begin to even fictionally cast those who fit the bill, but I do believe that with the “Zombie Touch,” he can bring so much more fresh air to the usual casting.

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There’s no doubting what Rob Zombie is clearly very good at. Despite mixed reviews from the horror world and critics, it’s time that his fans open their eyes to new possibilities. Of course, there are die-hards, but digging your feet in further doesn’t allow the growth of horror and its ever evolving themes.

[[ʳᵒᵇ ᶻᵒᵐᵇⁱᵉ, ˢᵒᵘʳᶜᵉ﹔ ᵍᵒᵒᵍˡᵉ ⁱᵐᵃᵍᵉˢ]]

This theory has been on my mind for a very long time—since 3 from Hell came out. I’m sure, in his usual fashion, we won’t be seeing any new films from Rob anytime soon (what with his new album set to release in March 2021, not to mention the toll that the pandemic has had on Hollywood.)

Still, it never hurts to challenge the set standards and ways.

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stella-monstrum · 3 years

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Ice Nine Kills: Why 2021 Should Be the Year of Big-Screen Recognition

For this opinion article (emphasis on opinion), I will be diving into why 2021 should be the year for Boston-based metal/horror-core band Ice Nine Kills—specifically, why they should be picked up or work with Blumhouse Horror or with the IFC Midnight cinema team.

I won’t be diving fully into INK’s history, instead covering those aspects that I feel to be important to this piece.

Disclaimer: This is NOT a sponsored review of any kind, and these thoughts are all my own.

(Written by Stella, Edited by Jacob J.)

The Boston-based theatrical thrillers consist of:

Spencer Charnas on Vocals

Joe Occhiuti on Bass/Vocals

Dan Sugarman on Lead Guitar

Ricky Armellino on Guitar/Vocals

Patrick Galante on Drums

Left to right: Ricky Armellino, Patrick Galante, Spencer Charnas, Joe Occhiuti, Dan Sugarman (Source: Rocksound.com)

Note: Member/Unclean vocalist Justin “JD” DeBlieck still

has INK as a part of his social media, but is no longer listed as a member according to the band biography from Fearless Records.

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Originally formed in 2000, the band has gone through many roster changes and sound evolutions. It wasn’t until 2014-2015 when they broke through the barrier, signing with Fearless Records and releasing their fourth EP, Every Trick in the Book. Whether you’re a fan of theirs, or your first introduction to them is this article, it’s no secret that they’re deeply influenced by horror literature, films, and culture.

Some of the films and stories they’ve paid homage to, as featured in tracks from their Every Trick in the Book:

Album art for Every Trick in the Book. (Souce: Wikipedia)

Stephen King’s 1974 novel, “Carrie”

Robert Louis Stephenson’s 1886 novella, “Jekyll & Mr. Hyde”

George Orwell’s 1945 novel, “Animal Farm”

William Peter Blatty’s 1971 novel, “The Exorcist”

Bram Stoker’s 1897 novel, “Dracula”

This interview via altpress.com from 2019, gives a small taste of said influences, and many interviews past to beyond show the band’s love of the horror world.

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This is where we get into the main point of the opinion piece:

In 2018, Ice Nine Kills released their fifth album, The Silver Scream, which earned the band spot on the Billboard 200 charts, peaking at number 29 while reaching number 2 on the Top Hard Rock Albums chart. A year later, they released the Final Cut of the same album, which included live/acoustic bonus tracks, a cover of Michael Jackson’s “Thriller,” and an ode to Wes Craven’s Scream titled “Your Number’s Up.”

Tease for The Silver Scream. (Source: INK’s Twitter, 2018)

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Alongside The Silver Scream, Ice Nine Kills dropped what was essentially a five-part series of mini films for a few of the album’s tracks. These videos not only showcased the men’s acting chops but also highlighted what the band could accomplish without a major film company’s help. Fearless Records fueled the hype with a cinematic trailer (HERE) and the full “movie” (HERE).

The saga follows lead singer Charnas, suffering from dreams of committing horror film-related murders, who seeks the help of a therapist. Given the vocalist’s Bundy-like charm throughout the five film pieces, his therapist suspects that, just maybe, these really aren’t dreams, as the local news covers the exact ongoing murders that Charnas describes. The other members of the band are also very much a part of these dream sequences, playing the “reality” roles.

Ice Nine Kills behind the scenes of the “Thank God It’s Friday” video. (Source: https://picsinthepit.com/)

The videos also feature a shit ton of horror film easter eggs, all of which make for quite the fun scavenger hunt after watching the first time around.

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Some other notable things about INK:

They have their own “horror” inspired clothing line

They were banned by Disney World for displaying violent imagery (read the ALTPress story HERE)

This year (2020), they launched their own Psycho’s Club exclusive app (with many badass perks that you can view HERE)

Plus, just this Halloween, the band put on a livestream titled The Silver Stream, hosted by horror icon Bill Mosely (from Rob Zombie’s House of 1000 Corpses film trilogy, Silent Night, Deadly Night III, and so many more noteworthy performances). The show not only showcased the band’s phenomenal hustle but also proved that their minds can accomplish their wildest horror-filled dreams.

As described from Rocksound.com:

“[The Silver Stream is an] unprecedented interactive experience that will feature the concert footage of their 19-track set, shot with an 8-camera setup at their sold-out hometown show at The Worcester Palladium and a bespoke, built-in horror movie created by Spencer Charnas and Director Myles Erfurth of Stained Glass Eye Ent." // Charnas also added that “the only thing scarier than the horror that has been 2020 will be The Silver Stream.”

Promotional poster for The Silver Stream (2020) (Source: Google Images)

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Now you’re probably wondering, “Why do they need a major film production company when they can clearly do A LOT on their own?”

In all honesty, Ice Nine Kills don’t really need a major film company. But, with the inspiring resume that they’ve made for themselves, this would be the most logical next step for the Boston boys (in my opinion). As for why IFC Midnight or Blumhouse Horror, I feel like either company would be the perfect fit.

In Blumhouse’s comedic prom-like slasher Freaky, the soundtrack included Rise Records’ own PVRIS (another personal favorite). It would be great to see Ice Nine Kills make an appearance on a soundtrack or even have an on-screen cameo in an upcoming Blumhouse film. Plus, IFC Midnight is known for envelope-pushing thrillers and psychological horror films. Add in the idea of them pushing even more creative boundaries with INK? It would be a dream team of epic proportions.

Obviously, movie production, like the world in general, has come to a halt amidst the global pandemic. But in 2021 (or when we’re in the clear again), anything is possible. So who knows? Maybe we’ll see Ice Nine Kills go from The Silver Stream to the silver screen.

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stella-monstrum · 3 years

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“Autopsy of Jane Doe”[ IFC MIDNIGHT, 2016] [Rated R]

(Review & My Parallel Film Theory)

(NSFW CONTENT AND POTENTIAL SPOILERS)

(Written by Stella, edited by Jacob J.)

No matter the genre, the independent film industry holds many hidden gems within it. Studio IFC has been in the game for close to twenty years now, but it wasn’t until 2010 that it unveiled its plans for their “Midnight” collection and genre.

“Many of our most successful VOD titles are those that might fall under the Midnight label – not just films that are straight up horror, erotic arthouse, or genre films, but also ones that shock audiences, push boundaries, and stir up controversy – so officially creating IFC Midnight was the logical next step,” President of IFC Entertainment Jonathan Sehring in a statement. (SOURCE: indiewire.com // HERE)

But the focus in this article will be solely on the horror genre, specifically the 2016 supernatural/horror/thriller standout The Autopsy of Jane Doe. My review, thoughts, and analysis will include some changes I would have made to change the story itself. Now, full disclaimer, my changes and reimagining will not affect my rating on the film overall, per se.

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[REVIEW]

One thing that was honestly a surprise (albeit a pleasant one) was how small the cast actually was. Whilst there are ten actors and actresses listed on the IMDb page, the film focuses on only five of them, eventually whittling the action down to three. My honest thought? “With such a small amount of people only being focused on, this will get boring quickly.” But boy, I was 100% wrong in that assumption. If ANYTHING, it only intensified every moment on, Add in dramatic references, film scoring, and film aesthetics? It was just icing on the creep cake.

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Let’s begin with the cast and breakdown of the story:

Brian Cox and Emile Hersch as father-son coroner duo Tommy and Austin Tilden

Ophelia Lovibond as Emma, Austin’s girlfriend

Olwen Kelly as Jane Doe

Michael McElhatton as Sheriff Burke (an albeit brief focus)

Left to right: Austin, Emma and Tommy (Screencap, Autopsy of Jane Doe, 2016)

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From the beginning of the film, you are immediately immersed within a brutal crime scene. It seems fairly straightforward in what appears to be a triple homicide. I was taken by (delighted) surprise that it kicked off at such a fast pace, so much so that I physically felt that I’d lost my footing (while sitting). But as the police and forensic team further search the home for evidence, they wind up finding a pristinely preserved and very nude corpse, one only partially covered in dirt down in the basement. This new revelation doesn’t fit what they’ve pinned down to be a homicide.

Enter a quieter and uneventful small town setting. Here we are introduced to Austin and Tommy Tilden, running a very small coroner business out of the basement of their home (blasting rock and roll from the radio whilst they do their job—a very cool touch.) Austin comes off as a young adult who doesn’t want to be stuck in this small town, let alone in this profession. He feels bad since father Tommy is otherwise alone and widowed.

The Tilden home/business (Screencap, Autopsy of Jane Doe, 2016)

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Austin’s girlfriend Emma comes in to pick him up after his shift for a date they had planned. (This part plays into my reimagining later.) Emma sneaks up to scare Austin, then begs and pleads with him to let her see a dead body and what they do for a living. Austin flat out refuses, but then his dad allows Emma to pick one to view. Tommy also explains that they keep bells around the ankles of some corpses (a practice with origins in an old wives’ tale: if the person isn’t dead, the bell will jingle). Austin gets back at Emma by ringing the bell on one of the bodies to scare her, and she threatens that he “won’t be getting laid.” (Emma comes off as a very strong type—and not in a flattering chemistry way)

Just as they’re about to leave for their date, Sheriff Burke comes in with an urgent request: they have 24hrs to perform the autopsy of the Jane Doe found in the opening scene. Austin decides that, with the urgency and his guilt, to stay behind and assist, asking Emma to come back later.

As they perform what they thought would be just another autopsy to find clues as to how or why Jane Doe met her end, things get very eerie and strange. These events elicit goosebumps: from a shift in music to a creepily upbeat version of the McGuire Sisters’ 1954 song “Let the Sunshine In,” to an awful storm coming in seemingly out of nowhere, knocking a tree into the cellar exit, trapping the Tildens inside. The family cat gets killed. The bodies in the morgue awaken. The power goes out. These usually run-of-the-mill supernatural tropes are 100 times more dramatic with the focus only on the two men.

While they examine Jane layer by layer, her fingerprints are nowhere to be found in their system, and her trauma and, injuries in total, do not seem to match up with the crime.

Peat soil from “up northeast” found under her fingernails

No outward visible signs of marking or bruising

Broken wrists and ankles

Ripped out tongue

Mutilated genitalia

Missing tooth (which was force fed to her in a cloth with a ritualistic sigil in it)

Flower with paralyzing properties (and not native to the area) in her stomach

Horribly burned lungs and internal organs covered in scar tissue.

A very much active brain

Roman numerals and symbols carved into her skin

Markings on the cloth alluding to Leviticus 20:27 (which condemns witches) and the year 1693 (a reference to the Salem Witch Trials)

Austin and Tommy do not come out of this unscathed—or alive, for that matter. While trying to escape in the elevator when being chased by one of the belled-up corpses, Tommy hacks away at it in the dark. But, once the power comes back on, it is revealed to be Emma. Tommy gets attacked by unseen forces (since he is the one primarily performing the exam). They finally reveal that Jane Doe was likely thought to be a witch during the Trials, but the people who performed the ritual were horribly wrong—and ended up turning her into the very thing they sought to destroy. Tommy pleads with the witch to take him as long as she leaves Austin alone, and all of her horrific injuries get transferred to the elder Tilden, leaving Austin to put his father out of misery. Austin, however, gets spooked by a hallucination (provided by Jane) of his dead father on the stairs leading up to the exit. He falls and snaps his neck.

The next day, Jane Doe is in pristine form on the exam table. The Sheriff cannot understand what could have happened since he’d known the Tilden’s for so long, and decides to send Jane off to the next county. The ending features Jane being transferred into the van, a creepily upbeat song playing once again.

All in all, if I were nitpicking, the only real complaint I’d have is that some of the suspenseful moments were drawn out a few seconds too long. On top of that, they shouldn’t have killed off the family cat, Stanley. That said, if you’re into supernatural thrillers or just looking for a film for date night, this would certainly be one to consider.

(7/10 stabs) 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪

(Reimagining AHEAD)

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Now after watching the film, I got to thinking. This is my reimagining of sorts, and a theory that they could have used to cash in on a continuation:

Let us rewind a little bit. Remember Emma? Think back to this scene specifically:

youtube

(I do NOT own the rights to this clip, simply sharing for viewing to set the scene)

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In this parallel theory there are a few points of change that come to mind initially:

1. Tommy has a more stubborn personality, absolutely and flat out refusing to let Emma see the cadavers

As he (Tommy) shoos Emma out, that is when the Sheriff urgently brings in Jane Doe. Austin convinces his father to let Emma stick around. Tommy then has the attitude of, “If she wants to see a dead body we’ll let her see the entire process.”

Jane’s body gets taken into the Tilden’s business. (Screencap, Autopsy of Jane Doe, 2016)

Whilst the Tilden’s are performing the examination, Emma begins to get bored (before shit gets weird and they essentially awaken Jane’s warnings)

2. When things slowly proceed to get horrific, the further that they get into things, Emma touches the ritual cloth that was used to force-feed Jane her molar, then Austin scolds her for touching evidence.

Progressively after touching the ritual cloth, Emma begins to get very sick. This not only adds an anxiety-inducing level of conflict on top of having to deal with Jane Doe’s unfolding evil, but also provides a deeper layer to the film.

Austin and Tommy examine the ritual cloth. (Screencap, Autopsy of Jane Doe, 2016)

The more that they poke, prod, and try to fight Jane, the worse Emma’s condition gets. Austin has to drag her along whilst also trying to protect his father from the witch’s attacks.

3. You get to the point of looming dread when it becomes clear that Austin cannot save his father, and seemingly Emma as well. (Also fuck it that the cat stays alive and alerts Austin of danger, cause why not?)

After Tommy begs Austin to kill him once all of Jane’s injuries transfer to the elder Tilden (VIEW HERE); Emma’s eyes become clouded like Jane’s.

While Austin tries everything that he can to keep Emma comfortable, he tries to perform a ritual himself to destroy the evil brought in.

4. For Austin’s final attempt, he burns Jane in the incinerator.

Jane Doe is far from done causing harm and suffering. When she is burned, Emma takes her place. Seemingly, her magic makes the sheriff believe that Emma was the one that was brought in.

Tommy’s death is made look like a suicide.

Since the Tildens only had 24 hours to solve this case, the Sheriff understands that Austin couldn’t get the job done due to the loss of his father. But rules are rules, and he’s forced to transfer Jane Doe’s (now Emma’s) cadaver to the next county.

While she’s being taken out and Austin is being asked protocol police questions, the eerie song plays on the radio.

5. Austin knows that he has to hunt Emma’s cursed body into the next county. (And takes the cat with him, because the cat didn’t need to die.)

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Who would LOVE to see a sequel like this?!

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stella-monstrum · 3 years

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I bring him home, take him out of the box, and CANNOT leave him unsupervised FFS. Needless to say, I had to use my Pamela voice to scold him.

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stella-monstrum · 3 years

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Bride Of Chucky (1998), Rated R [A beginners crash course]

WARNING: This article contains clips and photos that I do not own and are simply including to watch along with this article. NSFW CONTENT AND POTENTIAL SPOILERS AHEAD)

(Written by Stella, edited by Jacob J.)

In the era of “semi charmed” living, the birth of Viagra, & heartthrob Leo, 1998 was also a time for some unique box office horror films.

For my first post, I want to really dive into the Don Mancini Chucky franchise. I have a history and (albeit irrational) fear of the twisted “Good Guy,” but dammit—I figured it wouldn’t really hurt to give Bride of Chucky a view for the first time.

To be fair, I did go into this without watching Child’s Play at all. If you, like me, are new to horror, let’s be honest—skipping it completely wouldn’t hurt. Let’s start by talking about the cast, shall we?

We’re joined once again by Brad Douriff (as notorious serial killer Charles Lee Ray—AKA Chucky), this time with a new slate of co-stars to join him.

Jennifer Tilly as Ray’s scorned ex-lover (Tiffany Valentine),

Romeo & Juliet like lovers Katharine Heigl (Jade) and Nick Stabile (Jesse),

Their best friend (and somewhat voice of reason), David (Gordon Michael Woolvett)

Chief Warren Kincaid (John Ritter), Jade’s shitty cop dad

Lieutenant Preston (Lawrence Dane)

Norton (Michael Louis Johnston), Warren’s officer rat

From L-R: David, Jesse, Jade, Warren, and Norton. (Screencap, Bride of Chucky, 1998)

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To sum the film up, Tiffany Valentine sets up an officer to bring her the ripped-to-shreds “Good Guy” so she can hold a ritual to put Ray’s soul back into the body of Chucky. From then on, the film deals with commitment issues, Tiffany ending up in the body of the “bride”, and two HS teens who run away on a road trip to New Jersey when Jesse gets paid to take the (unknowingly) possessed dolls to the gravesite of Charles Lee Ray. Moreso, shit goes south very quickly when Jesse and Jade get framed for the murder spree that the dolls commit.

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Now to the nitty gritty of what I loved, hated, and honorable mentions of the 1hr 29min film:

(Cont)

LOVES:

1) Balance of well-timed comedic one-liners, masochism, and satisfying kills

Let’s face it—every shitty character that a film makes you hate from the get-go eventually gets what’s coming to them.

—The karma-filled death of Officer Warren. Whilst Jesse and Jade believe that Warren is not home, they pack for their little road trip. Warren shows up to plant drugs into the van, which makes Tiffany and Chucky take matters into their evil little doll hands so that their plans don’t get derailed. Tiffany lures Warren to the front of the vehicle, only for him to be met with a face full of nails ejected from opening the booby-trapped glove box.

(Screencap, Bride of Chucky, 1998) (If you’re curious, you can view the scene HERE)

Talk about getting NAILED, but not in the fun way HAHA

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My most favorite thing about the film BY FAR? The comedic and perfectly timed one-liners.

—On the theme of masochism, after Jesse and Jade elope at one of those cheesy quick marriage chapels, they spend the night in the honeymoon suite. They meet a swinging and swindling couple who steal the $500 Tiffany left for Jesse to make the trip. Tiffany and Chucky catch the woman and sneak away to get their revenge after Jesse and Jade fall asleep. The swingers die (in a very cool, albeit horrible, way) when Tiffany throws a bottle of champagne into the voyeurism mirror above the bed, leaving the swingers a shredded bloody mess amidst pieces of now-shredded waterbed. [Pt. 1, you can view HERE.)

Valentine’s brilliance gets Chucky…“going” (look, I feel weird even typing that), and they decide to act out what every kid does with dolls when their parents aren’t looking. In the middle, Tiffany asks Chucky, “Do you have a rubber”? To which Chucky replies that he’s made of rubber. (Okay, view at own risk of ruining your childhood HERE.)

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2) Story & timeline recap and consistency

Like I mentioned in the beginning of this review, you really don’t need to watch “Child’s Play” to get the gist of this film whatsoever.

—When we’re introduced to Tiffany’s trailer home, the camera takes a brilliant panoramic stroll across a shelf of newspaper clippings that she had kept. These clippings detail the date when Charles Lee Ray (Chucky) was caught & killed, as well as the snippets of Andy telling the police that the “Good Guy” doll was responsible for the murders all the way in 1988’s first installment.

The Heart of Damballa” AKA the Amulet

—When Chucky gets back at Tiffany for keeping his doll form locked up in a wooden play-pen, he eventually escapes, electrocutes Tiff in the bathtub, and transfers her body into the bride doll that she got to give Chucky as a sick joke (will explain later on). When they’re both stuck in their new bodies, Chucky explains (as the film shows), that when Charles died, he had the amulet around his neck that transferred his soul (as seen in Child’s Play)—hence the road trip to get it so they can do the same with living potential vessels, Jesse and Jade.

[The Heart of Damballa, buried with Charles Lee Ray. (Screencap, Bride of Chucky, 1998)]

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DISLIKES:

1) The extremely hot/cold cat-and-mouse game between Chucky and Tiffany throughout

This all stems from Tiffany finds a ring that she believed Charles had left for her after he’d been caught and gunned down. Chucky shortly informs her that she was “fuckin’ nuts” for thinking that he’d commit (hence Tiff getting set off and locking him in the pen). Sure, a couple argues here and then. But in this case, when the audience (I) think(s) that there’s a breather, they continue to pile on. I get that they’re laying out the character dynamic, but it’s a bit much. They have heartwarming moments (considering the fact that they’re serial killers), but as soon as you blink, they want to kill one another.

[Tiffany taunting Chucky after locking him in with his “bride.” (Screencap, Bride of Chucky, 1998)]

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2) THE ENDING—okay, well, specifically one piece to the finale of the film

As the police hunt for Jesse and Jade, Lt. Preston finds them at the dug-up gravesite of Charles Lee Ray. Preston then sees the evil and very much alive doll. Preston tells Jesse and Jade that the police won’t believe what’s clearly unfolding. He then gets a call and simply says (I’m paraphrasing) “Well, Jesse and Jade, they didn’t do it.”

—Honestly, it came across as anticlimactic. I would have liked to see them get further framed, because, at that point, I couldn’t stand the couple anymore. That’s just me being a cynic.

(Screencap, Bride of Chucky, 1998) [Preston taking a phonecall]

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HONORABLE MENTION:

The soundtrack!!! As much as I love films, the first things that stand out to me about any movie are the score and licensed music that go along with them.

If you’re not familiar with the artists, the groovy/rocking/brooding musical picks fit so incredibly well with their placements within Bride of Chucky and oh so perfectly encapsulates a true throwback ‘90s film.

From SLAYER and Judas Priest to White Zombie, Blondie, etc., this album fully kicks ass and makes you feel much more immersed into the movie.

(Credit: Genius.com)

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All in all, the humor aforementioned in #1 saves the minor annoyances in this film for me. If you’re terrified of the dolls (like I was), this is the perfect “ice breaker” to start out with.

Rating: 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 (4 out of 10 Stabs)

Anyone still want Tiffany’s meatball recipe??

(Screencap, Bride of Chucky, 1998)

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