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#''please i dont want to do this alone. Not this time'' Give me my heart back pls 😭
giannasturn · 2 days
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àŒŠ*·˚ the cut that always bleeds.. đŸ©žđŸ©č M.S
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W A R N I N G S: angst, situationship, sex, alcohol, smoking, kinda toxic Matt?, fighting, swearing, no happy ending
S U M M A R Y: friends with benefits with Matt turns into the biggest heartbreak you’ve ever experienced when you catch feelings but he doesn’t.
THIS IS MY WORK, MY IDEA, NO STEALING !!
4 months ago..
“that was fucking amazing” Matt, your best friends brother says. “Yeah it was” you say.
It just kept happening, you would find yourself in his bed almost every night, and you would find yourselves hooking up at every party you showed up to together.
One night, after you guys had hooked up, he asked you if you wanted to be “friends with benefits” you agreed, with no strings attached and the cycle just kept repeating.
Now..
Matt cleans you up with the rag that was already laying on his floor from yesterday, “I think I’m gonna go” you say, as he stands up and throws the rag in the laundry.
“Why?” He asks. Deep down in your head you know why. You cannot lay on his chest while he plays with your hair again, you cannot go on another late drive to get food and have a deep talk together again, you just can’t.
Your heart falls in love with him a little more every time you spend time with him, “i just need to leave” you say.
“Well okay, bye y/n.” He says while kissing your cheek.
You let out a quick “bye” while tying on your shoes and heading out the door.
You get in your car and start heading towards your apartment which you shared with your best friend Ava.
Ava was the only one who knew about your feelings for Matt, and it was gonna stay that way. Right..?
đŸŽ¶ I can’t be your lover on a leash, every other week when you please. đŸŽ¶
“I just can’t do it anymore Ava” you say while eating ice cream sitting on your shared couch. “I wanted nothing more but to just hold him and kiss him but I know if I would, it would just kill me even more.”
“You have to let him go” Ava says, “no no, I can get over these stupid feelings I know I can.” “I just can’t let him go” you say.
You feel a buzz in the pocket of your baggy sweatpants, you grab your phone to see it’s Matt.
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“You have to ignore him girl” Ava says. “I know” you say.
No matter how much it pained you you know Ava is right. So you do just that, you ignore him.
Next thing you know you hear your phone start buzzing again, this time Matt is calling you.
You cant help yourself so you pick up.
“Hello?” Matt says with a confused tone in his voice
“Hey” you say.
“Why didn’t you answer my text?” Matt says, sounding almost concerned.
“I just didn’t, why do you care so much” I say.
I dont wanna be rude, but if I wasn’t then I know I would end up just acting like his little side hoe again, and I couldn’t keep doing that.
“Wow someone’s grouchy” he says.
“Matt what do you want, why did you call”
“Why are you getting so upset with me?” Matt says.
“Did I do something”
“Matt just leave me alone.” I say while hanging up.
- - -
đŸŽ¶ cause you keep me on a rope, and tied a noose around my throat. đŸŽ¶
Fuck me. I think to myself, as I stand in this random persons house, at a party I was invited too last minute.
“Cmonnn, you gotta loosen up a bit” Madi says. I know she’s right, but all I wanna do is look for Matt and lay on his chest while his soft gentle fingers run through my hair.
“Maybe you could find someone else to hook up with even” Ava says. “Okay..fineee” I say.
While glancing around the room trying to find someone at least a little attractive, I see Matt with a random blonde tracing his tattoos and giving him “fuck me” eyes.
I move my eyes down a little bit and see his hand on her ass. Fuck, I think to myself.
As the tears start forming at my eyes, I feel my chest start to tighten.
I run through the crowd trying not to make it obvious that I’m upset, until I find a door and open it, only to find 2 random people fucking each other. “Sorry!” I say while storming out.
I find another door and open it, thank god nobody’s in this one. My back hits the door and I slide down it while heavy sobs escape my mouth.
I hear a knock at the door, “hey y/n you in there?” I hear from a familiar voice, Matt’s voice.
I try to stay silent but then once I feel the door push my back foward, I realize that I forgot to lock the door.
“What’s wrong, baby?” The words escape his mouth so easily, yet effect me so much.
“I’m fine, Matt really just leave me alone” I say.
“No, what is wrong? It’s obvious I did something.” He says.
I’m in love with you Matt. I wanna say, but of course, I don’t.
“Did you not fin- fuck y/n you didn’t finish did you.” He says.
“Oh my god Matt yes I fucking finished dumbass” I say.
“I think you just need to loosen up” he says, picking me off the ground gently
Before I know it, he turns me around an slams me against the door
He slowly lifts up my dress with his hands, and moves my underwear to the side.
Without a warning, he inserts 2 fingers into me. “Fuck matt” I say.
“Now.. you wanna tell me what’s wrong?” He says.
“It’s nothing I’m just going through a tough time right now” I say, breathing heavily and trying not to moan.
- - -
đŸŽ¶you know what your doing when your coming back, and I don’t wanna have another heart attackđŸŽ¶
He puts my clothing back on, kissing all over my body. “So pretty” he says. “And your all mine” he says. Killing me
“fuck I love you” he says. Killing me.
I agree to go back to his house and hangout for a bit. I knew I shouldn’t, but at the end of the day he is also my best friend and I just missed it.
“you know, i enjoy fucking, but I also just enjoy your presence and hanging out with you.” He says while rubbing my thigh. Killing me.
“Yeah me too” I say. “Then why have you been so distant?” He says. I know I shouldn’t admit anything, but maybe he deserves to know something at least.
“Well when we were at the party earlier, and I saw your hand on that girls ass” “I kinda got upset and I-“ I say before he cuts me off
“Y/n, we never agreed to not seeing other people.” “We are just friends with benefits right?” He says.
“Right.” I say. Killing me
- - -
đŸŽ¶ but even though your killing me, yeah đŸŽ¶
Everything he is doing is killing me. The kisses and praises he leaves all over my body after sex killed me.
Every time I seen him go on a date, or dancing with another girl at a party killed me.
But most importantly, every time he has to remind me that we are just friends kills me.
I know this is not good, I know leaving his house bawling my eyes out was not good for me.
Everyone tells me I need to tell him. My therapist, my friends, even his brothers, which now know about my feelings because I mean come on it’s pretty obvious.
It could be the fact that it’s midnight, or the fact that that I smoked 2 j’s, but i think its time to tell him.
I get into my car, put some music on and before I can think I start driving.
- - -
I arrive at his door, and immediately knock. Nick & Chris don’t stay up that late but Matt does so Matt answers the door.
“Hey y/n, you didn’t tell me you were coming”
“I know” I say. “Can I come in?”
“Yeah sure” he says. Opening the door wider for me to come in.
We arrive to his room, and the tension is high. He can tell something’s off, and my heart is pounding out of my chest.
“Y/n what the fuck is wrong?” “You ignore me, and then we have sex and you don’t let me even hold you!”
“I don’t fucking understand, you say your going through a tough time but you don’t tell me anything!” He says.
“Matt it’s cause I’m fucking in love with you.” I say.

. The silence is a unbearable amount of loud and the air becomes even more tense if that’s possible
“Every time you kiss me it kills me because I know we won’t ever be able to do that without fucking.”
“Every time you hold me, it kills me because I know your just doing it because you just nearly took my ability to walk away.”
“Every time you call me yours it kills me because I know that I’m not, and I never will be”
“I thought maybe if I ignored you it would get better and these feelings would pass but the more I ignored you the more it hurt and I couldn’t take it anymore” I say.
“I can’t just fucking be your lover when you want me to be, and then see you eye fucking a ton of other girls at parties” I say
“You don’t deserve this, you don’t deserve me. I caught feelings and this is all my fault.”
“But I also don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve to feel like I’m getting stabbed anytime I come near you.” I say while leaving his room and slamming the door on my way out.
My chest feels tighter then it ever has, but I also somehow feel relieved. I finally let it out, I don’t feel so locked up anymore.
I run out of the house ignoring all of the “y/n wait!” “Y/n comeback” s that come out of his mouth.
- - -
đŸŽ¶ beat my heart to black and blue đŸŽ¶
When I arrive home, I walk in sobbing and Immediately drop to the floor.
“Oh my god y/n what happened” Ava says.
I am on the verge of passing out, everything around me is tuned out and my eyes are blurry, quite frankly I don’t know how I survived the drive home. I felt light headed and like I was about to puke.
“Y/n stay with me, everything’s going to be okay” Ava says.
- - -
Everything from that night is a blur. I know what happened and I know what I did, but all the details are erased from my brain.
My room reeks of alcohol, weed, and just disgustingness considering I haven’t cleaned my room, nor got out of my bed for 4 days.
I haven’t gotten any messages from Matt, he hasn’t came here, he’s just gone.
There’s been music blaring in my room for 3 hours straight, the songs going from sad, to chill, to hype music where I start convincing myself I’m over it until it turns back into sad music again.
“The cut that always bleeds” by Conan Grey turns on, and I immediately turn it all the way up.
This song can explain me and Matt’s relationship more then I can, and I can’t listen to it without bawling my eyes out.
“Oooh, oooh, but even though your killing me” I sing while my head lays back on my headboard
Tears start streaming down my face, Matt’s shirt I haven’t token off for 4 days getting soaked from my tears.
“I need you like the air I breath”
“I need, I need you more than me.”
No matter how much I don’t wanna admit it, I need Matt more then anything. I need his hands rubbing all over me, i need his lips against mine, I need our hands interlinked. I need him




. The end.
A/N, this is my 2nd fic ever, I think this fic is way better then my 1st one, but I still don’t know if I would consider it good, anywho I love the cut that always bleeds but I can’t listen to it without crying so I thought why not make a fic about it!! I love angst and couldn’t wait to write it so I did just that. Hope you enjoyed!! 😋😋
TAGLIST:
@bernardsbendystraws comment if u wanna be added !!
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killjoygem · 1 year
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I know the Lumiat gets kinda glossed over a lot bc she isn't in the main show but I cannot stress enough how often I think about the lumiat practically begging Missy to stay with her because she didn't want to regenerate alone again :')
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im gonna NEED people to stop sending me vague ass "x is in the hospital " texts with no context or explanation right before i go to work or sleep
#mom sent me a text like. on my way to work today#call your grandpa later hes in the hospital and talking to you will make him feel better#NO EXPLANATION#NO LIKE. 'DONT WORRY HES OK' NO NOTHING#JUST. CALL HIM#and my mind IMMEDIATELY jumps to horrible fucking things because hes had health issues for a while now and .#aughggghghghhh ive almost cried like 6 different times at work today i cannot DO this please and thank you#hospitals bad literally always. hospitals give me so much fucking anxiety . im gonna need a full ass explanation do not be VAGUE WITH ME#this happened w my grandma last year too like#i didnt even KNOW she had cancer until like. 3 months after everyone else found out. i just knew she was in ans out of hospitals#ans nobody woult tell me WHY#and the excuse was 'oh you had finals coming up we didnt want to scare you during school'#BUT LIKE. OKAY???#I STILL KNEW SHE WAS IN THE HOSPITALS THOUGH LIKE THAT DOESNT MAKE IT BETTER.#anyway. called my grandpa he is. doing ok.#he had another heart attack and they put a pacemaker in this time so he is now. recovering from pacemaker surgery#and he cannot like. lift anything hwaveier thab 5 lbs or lift his arms above his shoulder for the next month#which is KILLING me that im not at home because he is. very much the restless type he doesnt like sitting around doing nothing.#he goes out and does HEAVY yard work when hes left home alone even though he knows he shouldnt#so now i am. so very. aughghhhh.h#head in hands#if anyone ever fucking talks to me about a hospital in the next week im just gonna. pass out and die . cannot do it please and thank you
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theblueflower05 · 7 months
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Mi Ti’ong(In Bloom)
A/N: Usually I try to keep my readers pretty ambiguous so that everyone can envision themselves, but this ones gonna be a little more distinct. If that isnt your jam, please dont read! No use of Y/N. Reader nicknamed Flora. Based on the character from Winx Club! And this art!
Word Count: 6k+
Warnings: Size difference kink.Mature Language. Smut. Overstimulation. Oral sex(female receiving) Neteyams a munch, it’s canon now.
Summary: Neteyam can have anyone and yet he only wants you. A small human who can usually be found among the flowers. Neteyam x Human! Reader
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Sugar, honey, iced tea. Bumble bee on the scene.
Yeah I’d give up my bakery to have a piece of your pie, ugh!
-See You Again, Tyler the Creator.
The forest is alive, the beating heart of Eywa felt in each and every leaf among the trees.
Every glowing piece of flora and fauna, every creature whose calls echo through the vastness.
This time of year is special and it's as though it is known. Deeply and primitively by all. The rains had come and gone, nearly a month of bruised skies that had bogged down the village and its daily life.
But as they always do the skies cleared, and the sun made its reappearance. Glittering and glimmering- triple rainbows breaking out in kaleidoscope like figurations. Beaming down with all of it’s warmth and vitality.
The earth is well fed and fertile, the soil rich and blooming with new life.
It’s that new life that brings the talioang(water buffalo like beasts) back. The creatures return in great migrations to the lush pastures of sweet new grasses to have their babies. The fish swim upstream, battling the roaring rivers, to spawn. The fruit hangs heavy and ripe in the trees. All around there is nothing but full bellies and joy.
This period of abundance is the Great Mother’s gift to her children.
It had always been Neteyam’s favorite time of the year.
Everything lush and bursting with life, the excitement a low constant hum amongst the tribe. The Great Hunt is coming and his father had given him the okay to take lead.
In his nineteen years, he had never been appointed with so much responsibility.
Jake tells him it will all be fine, nothing but easy smiles. This will be good. A fantastic way to show the clan that he’s ready to take on the title of Olo’eyktan once his father steps down. Although he manages to keep is calm and cool demeanor in public, he’s so fucking nervous he can barley function.
It’s why he’s here, trudging through the branches.
The village is buzzing with excitement. Everyone wants a moment of his time, their voices overlap as they wish him good luck.
Question his competence as head of the hunt.
Subliminally hint that hunters twice his age have never gotten the chance to do what has been so freely handed to him.
Remind him that their daughters are pretty. Unmated. Makes the best steamed Teylu. Are fertile and willing to give him strong children-
Fuck.
The moment he could, he’d slipped away. Disappeared into the foliage and had booked it deep into the trees, desperate for a moment alone. For a moment of silence and the peace of being away from prying eyes.
He doesn't even really know where he’s going.
Only that he just needs to be away. If only for an hour. He needs to recharge his ever draining social battery, to get his head on straight before tomorrow's hunt.
Neteyam has always performed his best under pressure.
Things that made others balk and cower ignited something in him. A need to fight. To prove himself- it’s not the prospect of high adrenaline and stampeeding hooves that makes him squirm. It’s all of the attention its garnering.
He know’s fully well that being the next Olo’eyktan means that attention comes with the territory. But that doesnt mean the thought of everyones focus on him doesnt make his indigo skin crawl.
He’s leaping aimlessly between vines when he remembers his sisters earlier proposition.
“Come with me and Flora to the watering hole today! The waterfalls are so pretty during this season- We’re going to go swimming!”
It’d been tempting this morning, and now it is even more so. He could use a dip in the cool waters and Kiri was always an ear to vent to when he got overwhelmed. He’d clear head and then leave-
He wouldn't get stuck staring at you.
Again,
No.
He can't pinpoint exactly when this happened.
It was like one night you were just another human at the Outpost. Another familiar alien face he’d grown up around. Just like Spider you’d stuck close with the Sully children. Your cheeks always flushed beneath your exo-mask and your fingernails always dirty and caked with mud from the hours and hours you’d spend tending to any and all plants that came in your line of vision. You were always so soft. Too soft for his liking sometimes. You’d cry at just about anything whether it be one of those old Tawtute movies the scientists played at the lab or the sight of an injured shimmyfly.
And then suddenly gone was that snotty, teary little girl he’d always known. And in her place was
you. A woman grown. Beautiful and bold- and there was strength in your softness now. You’d proved him wrong so many times- made it clear that you weren't another responsibility he’d have to shoulder-
“I can take care of myself, Neteyam” you’d insisted, never letting him carry your heavy baskets or tend to your scraped knees.
It’s maddening, the way that you shrug off any and all of his advances drives him fucking insane.
Neteyam approaches the secluded bank of the watering hole that his family loves best slowly, keeping in the treeline. Just out of sight. Just like he’d expected he finds you and Kiri on the familiar sands. Kiri is lounging in the sun, eyes closed and humming a pleasant tune to herself-oblivious to anything around her. He’d have to chastise her about her complete lack of situational awareness later.
You’re knee deep in the lake- tending to the water lilies that grow close to shore. Your back is to him but he bets your nose is all scrunched up, just like it always is when you’re around anything green and growing. His eyes drink you in greedily. All of your sun kissed skin is on display in the tiny faded pink panties you don for swimming.
He’d never found humans particularly pretty before you. The intense differences in their bodies had never appealed to him-
But Eywa, are you something to look at.
Time had been kind to you, and as you’d grown your body had morphed into something goddess like. You’re a real looker, his father had claimed. Would’ve been a total knockout back on Earth.
You’re all plush curves. Your breasts are pert and sit like rip hanging fruit on your chest, your hips wide and thighs jiggly and thick. And your waist
he’s sure if he put his much larger hands around them, his fingers could touch. He could cage you in his hold.
That thought has him biting his tongue, hard enough to taste metallic. You turn a bit, your laughter chiming over the glittering water like soft wind at some dry joke Kiri made.
Your hair color is light, lighter than any Na’vi’s and falls down around your shoulders in thick waves. He can only make out the side of your face but your full lips are pulled into a coy smile and your light jade eyes sparkle and all hell. Neteyam is so gone on you.
You’re like nothing he’s seen and definitely nothing he’s had.
And since his Iknimaya he’s had his first pick of the women of the clan.
He’s tasted passionate huntresses and flexible dancers alike and none of them satiate his thirst. None of them are able to replicate what he can only imagine you might taste like. It’s almost pathetic how many women he’s had and how many times he’s almost called out your name as he emptied his seed.
Neteyam’s more discreet about his romps than his brother, that’s for sure- but still. It’s a known fact that he’s an unmated male at his prime and that comes with a certain appetite. He can have anyone he wants, any Omatikayan woman would be glad to spend a night with him.
Yet somehow he’s lurking, hiding in the bush. Watching you longingly. Simpering like a pre-teen and pining over the way that the sunlight plays in the strands of your hair.
He shakes himself from his embarrassing reverie.
No one would be able to tell that just moments before he’d been debating on stroking his cock to just the sight of you, lurking in the trees like a creep. No. As he approaches its with his head held high and a sharp smile on his handsome smile.
“Brother!” Kiri grins, sitting up once she clocks him.
“What are you girls up to?” Neteyam greets. Cool as a cucumber.
“Nothing much, just been here since dawn. The waters so high this year!” Kiri picks up a fruit from beside her, peeling at its tender meat “everyone’s been out here today-on the other side, but no one knows how to get to this spot so we’ve had the beach all to ourselves”
You’re coming in from the lapping shore, beaming at him “Look at all the paysul(waterlily) that’ve bloom! I’ve never seen this many- isn't it amazing?”
“They are very beautiful. The rains were hard this year. I’m surprised the flooding wasn't worse” Neteyam tries not to focus on how tiny your chest covering- the bra as you call it- is. He turns his attention to his sister instead.
“Where’s Tuk, I cant believe she’d miss a chance to swim with you guys”
“She’s with mom, stuck on weaving duty since she tore grandma’s favorite tapestry” Kiri snorts because her baby sister had thrown a complete fit when she had been told she couldn't come “What about you? I thought you we’re too busy to hang out with the likes of us”
“I was able to make a little time for my favorite girls” Neteyam jests, amused by your eye roll and Kiri’s scoff “Plus, Lo’ak told me you need some humbling. Seems you forgot who’s the best diver in the family”
“Oh, you’re on, Teylupil(penis face/dick head)”
After stripping down to only his cloth, his cumberband and com left on shore, he slips into the cool refreshing water with a pleased “Ah”. Enjoying the gentle current against his skin-only to be tacked under the surface by Kiri and all of her bony lanky limbs moments later.
The sun soaked afternoon is filled with laughter and splashing. It’s exactly what he needs.
The three of you play in the river like children. Neteyam and Kiri go at it like the always do- careful to be gentle with your smaller form as you join in. It’s easy to forget the looming pressure of the hunt while he’s jumping from the rushing waterfalls and racing his sister, discreetly preening when he wins and you cheer him on with little claps.
Eventually you all tire.
Kiri floats on the water and goes to that place in her head that she so often does. Completely at peace to be surrounded by nature. She claims it’s when she can best hear Eywa.
Neteyam keeps a bit of an eye on her to make sure she doesn't randomly fall asleep again. Hoping she’d have the sense to get back to the beach before that happened.
Water floods his face and goes right up his nose.
His head snaps to you, spluttering and wiping at his eyes, “What the hell?”
You just giggle innocently before disappearing beneath the surface.
Neteyam’s tail flicks with interest.
He decides to let you get your little head start. His heart speeds up with the promise of a hunt before he starts his chase.He might be bigger then you but you're quick and slippery. Your mask giving you the advantage of not having to come up for air like he does.
When he grabs your ankle, so sure he’s got you, you all but kick him in the face to get away.
You little shit.
Fine.
If you want to play dirty, then he’s game.
He allows you to think you have a chance. That you may be winning the little game. You’re heading for the waterfall, planning to hide behind it.
He’s bigger and more trained than you could ever hope to be.
It only takes one well planned move and you’re done.
He yanks a hold of you, secure. He holds you then, your back against his chest and his strong muscle corded arms wrapped around you from behind before propelling the both of you through the pounding waterfall and into the small, closed off cave behind it.
“Neteyam!” You whine, squirming in his hold like a fish and he just laughs because honestly. He can barely feel it. You’re trying to escape with all his might and he’s holding you the way he might hold a child throwing a tantrum.
He leans in close, burying his face in your wet hair, close to your ear “I win, Sylaung(flower)”
He feels you shiver in his arms and it just makes him hold you tighter. He could keep you like this forever, if you’d only let him. Instead he can feel without you even saying so how hesitant you feel about this
“I think I deserve a prize” he pushes on even further and you give him a confused, side ways look. He so graciously allows you to turn in his hold until your chests meet, face to face.
“Like what?” you wonder and you’re too cute. You’re looking up at him, struggling to treading water with your smaller legs- Neteyam lifts you higher, until you’re bracing your hands on his broad shoulders and he’s holding you above the current. Supporting you totally.
“Well what can you give?” His inquiry is almost condescending and you shrug.
“I’m fresh out of gold stars” you tease and he barks out a laugh. Do you think he can't tell? That he can't see the way your cheeks flush and your pulse hammers beneath the delicate skin of your throat?
“What about a kiss” he offers offhandedly and your face scrunches up in a glare automatically.
“You don't want to?...”
“Why do you make fun of me like this, Neteyam” It’s not often he hears your voice this hard, soured by embarrassment and self doubt.
“I’m not making fun of you” he insists with a sigh “I don't know why you always say that. When have I ever given you the impression that I’d do that?”
You won't meet his gaze. Your green eyes flick, anywhere but on him. Zeroing somewhere behind his back. All too interested on the rocky cave wall.
“If it wasn't for this damned mask” Neteyam husks, low and sincere “I’d kiss you right now”
Even still, you don't seem convinced. Won't look at him until he takes your face in his hand, his fingers gentle but insistent. They grip the mask at your jaw, forcing you to look at him. “Why don't you believe me?”
“I’m nothing like the Omatikaya women you’ve been with” you say plainly like it's so obvious. Like it's a problem.
“I know”
“You didn't even like me growing up. You thought I was annoying”
“That isn't true-”
“It is” you insist haughtily “you’d make fun of me for talking to my plants”
He doesn't mean to laugh, really he doesn't. It’s not the time for it and it just pisses you off even more. He doesn't let you out of his arms even when you swat at him. “Listen, I’m sorry. I think it’s very sweet the way you talk to your plants. I want you to talk to me just like that, please”
That earns him a little giggle and he feels very pleased with himself.
You play with his hair often, most times it's mindless. A way to distract yourself. Your small deft fingers twirl along his adorned braids. He craves the scritch of your manicured nails on his scalp.
“How do you want me to kiss you? If I have my mask on” The interest in your hair is only just veiled. Your attempt at being nonchalant fails.
“Hmm” Neteyam feigns thinking, face screwed up “I think I could come up with a few ideas”
A few thousand more like it. You were the star of all of his fantasies. You, twisted and contorted into positions that would surely make you blush. You, with your mouth hanging slack in pleasure. Screaming his name-
But you hadnt agreed to that. You only, just barely, agreed to let him kiss you.
When he leans in its slow. Slow enough to give you time to push him away.
The waterfall roars in the background, white noise, but even it can't drown out the thunderous beating of your frantic heart.
Then his lips are pressed against your throat, gulping in the sweet scent of you. He cant kiss your mouth, but he can kiss the sweet, smooth column of your neck. Your clavicle. Your quivering shoulders. The heavy flesh of your breast. His kisses are open mouthed, his rough textured tongue dragging over your skin, leaving saliva trails in their wake-
You gasp sharpley when drags the skimpy fabric of your bra down so he can get at your pebbled nipple. He’s just about to suckle, when the moment is broken.
“Guys! Where’d you go?!”
It’s Kiri. Obviously awake from her nap like meditation time.
Your eyes go comically wide and Neteyam reluctantly releases you. Not wanting to get caught with an armful of pretty, half naked human. He’s thankful for the cold water and the way that he can hide the hardness tenting his tweng.
He catches you by the wrist before you can dip beneath the falls-
“We’re not done here, Sylaung” the promise leaves his lips fevor laced and full of heat.
You can only gulp and nod dazed, “I still owe you a kiss” your sweet voice reminds, before you’re ducking back under the water.
Leaving him dazed and buzzing for a moment before he gets it together and follows.
· · ─────── ·𖄞· ─────── · ·
Days later he still hasn't gotten his prize.
Although he’s celebrated by his clan, praised for his successful hunt, he feels like something is missing.
The Harvest Season and its celebrations are well underway. Every night there's dancing and singing around the large bonfires we’re fragrant spiced tailong meat roasts. Neteyam is highly decorated; feathers adorn his freshly braided hair and he's donned his most ornate cumberband. He’s hauntingly handsome
Spider and Lo’ak are sat near the main fire, laughing heartily and sharing a leather gourd full of liquor between themselves.
Spider’s obviously drunk and eyeing Kiri hungerly as she dances with Tuk- he’d never do that sober. Not with Neytiri so near. Lo’ak is lounged out, an attractive female in his lap. She giggles madly at whatever filth his little brother whispers in her twitching ear.
Jealousy bubbles acidicly in Neteyam’s belly and again, he wonders where you are. Why you arent here, in his lap. Letting him woo you.
He figures he’ll have to go to you then, if you won't come to him.
First thing to do is find you.
“Hey, Spider!” the human man is the best place to start. Spider’s eyes are glassy under his mask and still. His friend is excited to see him, greets him with a hand shake and a small hug.
“Neteyam, man! Where have you been all night?”
“Around, you know how it is” Neteyam shrugs, sitting sown on the log, accepting the gourd and taking a swig of the thick sticky sap inside. It burns all the way down.
“This partys essentially for him- I’m surprise you we’re able to get away from dad” Lo’ak shit-talks, like he always does. It’s good natured for the most part “I thought he might throw you a parade or something. Call in the clans-”
“Fuck you, man” Neteyam chuckles, shaking his head at Lo’aks theatrics. “Don't be jealous”
“Jealous of dad? Nah” Lo’ak “Now the women you’re getting? That I might be jealous of”
“Hey!” the girl in his lap, a weaver from a modest family, squrims, pinching at his shoulder “You’ve got all the woman you need for the night, sayrip”
She squeals when Lo’ak squeezes her tight around her middle and blows wet raspberry kisses into her neck.
Neteyam just rolls his eyes and shares a little look with Spider. By the next eclipse, Lo’ak wouldve moved on. He has a knack for loving and leaving.
“Why arent you out there, bro? I saw Amitsa giving you the eyes! She’s so hot and she doesnt ever give anyone the time of day” Spider juts his chin and sure enough. The woman is giving Neteyam longing looks from across the fire. She’s a pretty thing and her sultry voice is renowned in the tribe. He’d be lying if he said he wasnt attracted to her “You’re not gonna go try to get at that?”
No. He’s not.
“Uh” Neteyam scratches the back of his neck “I was actually looking for Flora, I havent been able to find her around lately”
Of course, that sets of a exactly what he knows it would.
His brothers are assholes and have teased his merciesly since discovering his obsessive crush. Spider knocks his much smaller shoulder against Neteyam’s and Lo’ak hoots with laughter.
“How someone can be pussy whipped for pussy they haven't even had is beyond me” Lo’ak snorts and Neteyam gives him a warning growl, his lips snarled up.
It’s nothing he hadn’t heard before.
Lo’ak finds it endlessly amusing that Neteyam had his eye on you, the tiny human he’d grown up so lukewarm about. It had always been his siblings; Kiri and Lo’ak and Tuk that were close with you growing up. Neteyam had never shown a speck of interest until your figure had grown curvy and supple-
“Piss off, I wasn’t asking you” Neteyam gives his best big brother stare down. His golden eyes hard and unimpressed before looking to Spider, hairless brows raised “You know where I could find her?”
“Listen man, she said wasn’t interested in hanging out with anyone tonight” the human man starts with a sigh and Neteyam’s growl is low and warning “-but I’m sure you can find her where she always is”
Neteyam wracks his brain for a moment “The Greenhouses?”
“Bingo” Spider nods, an almost sympathetic look in his eye as he watches Neteyam jump to his feet and set off.
Lo’ak sniggers and the girl in his lap scoffs and mutters something about “shameful, being that twisted up about a tawtute” but Spider says nothing.
Instead his plixr hazed eyes focus on the figure dancing close to the firelight. Kiri lets out a twinkling laugh at something Tuk says and yeah. Spider understands Neteyam. He understands being completely obsessed with something you’ve never had.
Instead of taking a note from his much braver brother, he lifts his mask and takes another shot of the acidic syrup.
· · ─────── ·𖄞· ─────── · ·
Neteyam could make the trek through the forest to Hells Gate in his sleep..
He’d spent a good chunk of his childhood retracing these exact steps, headeded for the familiar concrete fortress that made up the last human outpost on Pandora.
Neteyam had always been far too similar to his mother, for countless reasons. But his distaste for everything industrial was one of the main reasons. As he got older he spent less and less time here. Couldnt be found in the cold echoing hallways like Lo’ak and the girls coul
But even he could admit.
There’s something beautiful about the Greenhouses.
With their dome like structure, the big glass buildings are a fortress for the humans. Inside they’re as hot and humid as the Pandoran rainforests- but circulating Earth air so that the fruits and vegetables that are native to Terra Firme can grow, even on this alien planet.
Neteyam makes his way inside, plugging in the codes into the keypad and letting himself in through the pressurized doors that slide closed right behind him. His eyes are peeled, taking in all of the foreign greenery, hoping to catch a flash of tanned skin or light hair in the cracks between trees.
The Greenhouses are huge. There’s orchards of apples and oranges and long deep garden beds full of root vegetables. Enough to feed the Hell’s Gate settlement throughout the year, to trade with the People of the Omaticaya.
No matter, he’s a blooded hunter after all.
He hones in on that training as he tracks your path. Your footprints along the cement floor are light, and really you barely leave any trace of yourself at all. You float along with light steps and Neteyam truly thinks if you had been born one of the People you would’ve made a fine huntswoman-
He finds you in the shade of the orange trees. You’re up on a stool, gathering the plump fruit and humming a pleasant little tune.
You’re ethereal in artificial sunlight.
You’re something out of the books that Norm used to read to them when they were kids. His favorite had been the one about the boy who would never grow up and the island of Neverland. And the tiny golden dust covered pixi that flitted from page to page.
A fairy.
A being not quite real. Too gentle and feminine to exist.
He likes the tawtute clothes you wear. The small top that clings to your breasts like a second skin and the flowy patterned skirt. Of course if it was up to him you’d only ever wear the garments of the People- or even better, Nothing at all.
You reach too high, strained up on your tippy toes and Neteyam feels irrational fear at that. At all of your delicate skin and breakable neck-
He’s beside you in an instant and he doesn't need a ladder to reach the high hanging fruit you’d been struggling for. He grabs the fruit with one hand while the other stabilizes you, his big palm spread out across the small of your back.
You gasp at his warm touch. Your head snapping in his direction and legs going wobbly.
“Neteyam!”
“Flora” He sighs as he urges you down from the ladder, takes the heavy bucket of fruit from your hands “You really do need to be more careful”
You splutter for a moment, still shocked at his sudden arrival “I- ugh! I was fine!” you insist haughtily “It’s not like I don't do this all of the time. You didn't need to come help me, I can manage perfectly fine on my own”
“Need to help you?” Neteyam cocks his head a bit.
“Yeah
I mean. Why else would you be here?” you ask, scratching awkwardly at your arm for a moment “Tonight's the celebration. You really should be back with the clan-”
“As should you” He cuts you off firmly. Not liking the way that you’re trying to separate yourself from the tribe. From him “I have not seen you for days. Do you not want to feast with our people?”
You sigh, looking away from him. Biting at that plump ever pink bottom lip of yours. Always shy, he knows he needs to bring you out of your shell. You’ll find a way to run away from him again if he doesn't.
“I didnt come here to help you” Neteyam admits because he’s selfish and because you’re too beautiful. Even more so, since you’ve been hiding from him. Avoiding his attention.
“Oh really?” you’re not coy by nature but there's something in your eyes. In the way you’re looking up at him “Then what are you here for?”
“My kiss”
Your pupils expand, just the tiniest bit but he can see it. He can see it all. Every inch of your pretty face, unbridled by that cumbersome mask you usually are forced to don. He can see every freckle and blemish- and the way that a blush creeps across the apples of your cheeks.
“A deals a deal” Neteyam insists at the prolonged silence. At your nervous flicking gaze.
“Okay” is your sweet reply and he can only stare at your plump lips. A man with one thing and one thing only on his mind.
You don't protest when he reaches for you. When his big hands go around your waist and tug slowly until he’s enveloping you in his chest. You fit so perfectly, right under his sternum. Stare up at him with wide eyes that flutter closed the closer he inches his face towards yours.
The kiss is wet and electric and Neteyam wants to eat you whole.
Any awkwardness that comes from the size difference is soon overcome by the desire that simmers between you. You let him lead, always so willing to go with whatever flow he may give. Let him nip at your delicate bottom lip until he can almost taste the metallic twang of blood. Let him stick his much bigger tongue into your warm mouth, and then down your constricting throat.
As you make little gasping choking sounds, he imagines it's his huge pulsing cock stealing the air from your lungs instead.
You gasp for breath when he pulls away, as he trails kisses down your soft jaw. He cant stop, wants to taste you everywhere. Every inch of skin. He know it must be overwhelming- if your heaving breaths and mewls are anything to go by, he knows you’re feeling every inch of the mind spinning need that he is.
Still,
No matter how much he gropes at you with rough hands and drags spit soaked kisses over your neck and chest, youre so good for him. Such a good girl. Holding on for any ride he might take you on. Your fingers twined in his silky braids arent there to push him away, but to pull him closed.
When he grasps you by the back of your thighs and hoists- you wrap your legs around his slim waist, your ankles hooking at his lower back.
The helpless noise you make goes straight to his groin.
Neteyam lies you down on hard floor. He’d rather have you in the warmth of his Kelku, or under the stars, but at least here he can get at your maskless face. At your bare lips. Once he’s cradling your head safely and tucked in between your spread thighs he's at you again. Ravenously.
You’re so docile, so eager to let him take whatever he wants.
“Flora” he husks into your hair and you shiver.
“Yeah?”
“Flora” Neteyam brings your little body even closer.”You have no Idea. I have to have you. I need-”
You squeak needily “You can have whatever you need” and gasp when Neteyam kisses your cheek. Your lips. Your jaw. Your neck. Your nerves are on fire and your hips grind against his.
“I need this body. I need to see all of it, you drive me crazy” Neteyam armits as he tugs on your top and you help him pull it up over your head. You dont wear a bra, why would you? Your pretty rosy nipples are all on display for him. Pebbled and begging for attention, He laps slowly with his wide textured tongue at the puffy nub.
He suckles like a newborn until you’re chivalry and making hurt little sounds, until your pretty chest is covered in blooming bruises.
And then he’s dragging his wanting mouth down. Past your heaving ribs and over your soft belly. Neteyam hikes the flowy material of your skirt up high, until he can bend down and poke his head underneath.
“Oh!” you gasp, writhing a bit. Your thighs trying to close on instinct.
You’re so wet for him, the smell of it is thick and heady and he digs his nose into your inner thigh and snuffles. Its mouthwatering.
And it bit mortifying, from your end. Having the large man with his head buried under your skirt as he sniffs at your core-
When he licks a fat stripe over you, wetting up the thin material of your panties you cry out. No ones ever touched you like this and here he is, licking at your clothed pussy. Over and over until the fabric is translucent and sticky with your flowing juices.
“Please” you mewl, gathering the fabric, yanking until you can see him.
Its filthy and erotic. The sight of his hulking blue body between your trembling tanned thighs. So alien. So taboo-
“Please what, sylaung?” Neteyam taunts, his golden eyes meeting yours. They shine with mirth, and lust. So much lust. When he noses at your pink flowery panties you throw your head back, eyes squeezed closed. Unable to take the sight any longer “You want me to take care of you?”
“Yes” you sob because you’re pulsing and you can barley breathe you’re so horny “Please take care of me with your tongue”
Neteyam strips you then, out of your skirt and cute little panties and you’re lying under him. Naked and flushed and wanting.
He shoulders himself exactly back where he wants to be. Where he’s always wanted to be.
“Don't worry, I’ll take care of this sweet pussy for you”
Oh god. Your head is spinning.
You can barely think as he kisses on the jiggling fat of your thighs.
“I’m sorry” you gasp.
Neteyam hums right against your core and you can feel the vibrations throughout your entire body “What for?”
“I’m so messy” you whisper, that pink blush blooming all over your body.
Groaning, Neteyam can't wait any longer. Your flavor bursts along his taste buds. Tangy and earthy and decadently sweet. He’s had his fair share of cunt before, but he’s never tasted a humans and he’s shocked at how saccharine it is. It’s sticky and coats his mouth and throat. His lips and nose and chin as he digs in.
“Neteyam!” You wait.
“Fuck. Oh, Eywa. One Second” Neteyam sits up and adjusts himself where his painfully hard under his tweng and the ache in you deepens. You try to be good, try to be still as he leans in and licks at you again. Kisses your pussy in that same beautiful passionate way he kisses your lips.
He’s good. Too good at this. He’s had too much practice and you never had a chance againts that oversized mouth.
“Holy fuck” the words sound even more vulgar in your honeyed voice “Fucking hell, Nete. Nete. I’m almost there”
Neteyam grin is hidden between the lips of your pussy. He doubles down, letting you hump and soak his face. Then lapping back at inside of you in a repetitive and ceaseless rhythm, One that has you shaking, arching up off the ground. Your plush thighs closing, clamping around his head as you come.
Your orgasm cinches tight and rushes around you, inside of you, out of you with a gush of slick. It’s so deep. So strong, that it takes a moment for you to truly peak and it leaves you in a daze. Out side of your body as you fuck up againts Neteyams mouth like a wild animal.
You’d never come so hard in your life and it takes a while for you to recenter.
Once youre able to focus past the rushing in your ears, the first thing you notice is Neteyam’s face streaked with wet. Your blush blooms across your cheeks as you both breathe unevenly into the quiet.
“Did that feel good?” Nereyam knows it did, but still. He needs to ask. Needs to hear you say it.
You giggle, girlish and airy as your dainty hand releases his hair and cups at his cheek “So so good. I’ve never felt anything like that before”
His grin is all too feline and seeing those white canines gleam so close to the most sensitive part of you is a little alarming.
“There’s so much more to come, yawntutsyip” Neteyam promises, leading back down. His fingers play with the jiggle of your thigh- so different then any of the Omaticaya women he’s had You squirm a bit, clearly overstimulated, but keep your legs spread anyway.
Neteyams long digits prod gently at your pussy lips. You’re oddly pretty here. All red and rosy and inflamed, like that blush he loved so much on your cheeks. He spreads you with two fingers so that he can look at you inside. At your quivering pink folds and your tiny little hole that clenches when he runs his finger along it.
“You’re so small here” he whispers, completely hypnotized by it “So fucking tight. You’ll never be able to take me”
You whimper unhappily “Don’t say that. I want to- please just try”
“Shh,” Neteyam soothes your cries. Your dazed worries. He distracts you with his tongue, as it swirls over your throbbing clit. It feels a bit like sandpaper to your nerves, but you can get enough.
When his finger begins to breach you, you hold your breath.
Its big, but youre so loose from your first orgasm, so desperate to be filled that he sinks in until the hilt.
Its maddening after that and you grind the back of your head into the hard concrete under you- your eyes closed and your mouth hanging open. The sounds you make are feral and raw-
Neteyam fucks you open with one and then two fingers until its easy. Until the sweet stretch doesn't burn- instead its slippery and wet.horribly wet as Neteyam feasts on you as he fucks you with his fingers-
“Too much-Fuck” you weakly try to pull away from the assult of pleasure but he he’s too strong. Pins you down. Makes you take whatever he wants to give you.
When he lifts your hips up even higher to take a curious lick at your puckered asshole you white out.
This orgasm isnt like the first. You sink under the waves of this one. Your muscles cramp with the intensity. You cant come back to yourself, you can’t cling to anything but Neteyam. You cant even scream.
He’s everything, as he soothes you. As he makes you feel things you’ve never felt before.
“H-hurts” you whimper, eyes filling up with tears. Pussy aching.
“Just a little more baby” Neteyam huffs as he licks at you and stuffs the hand that's covered in your cum down his own tweng. It lubricates the fast and furious pumping of his fist along his rock hard cock.
He cant fuck you tonight, thats something the two of you will have to work up to. He’ll teach your tiny body to take him. To crave penetration.
But with his tongue buried in your pulsating pussy and your scent all around him its easy enough to pretend. Easy enough to imagine shoving himself into you slowly. Stretching you’re ruined. Your hole would never be the same. You’d forever gape because of him-
Neteyam comes with a roar and dirties his loincloth up like a teenager.
· · ─────── ·𖄞· ─────── · ·
Later, after he’s cleaned you both up the best he can and gathered you to his chest. After he’s taken a sip from the breathing mask and nuzzled ar your wispy soft baby hairs that are plastered against the side of your sweaty head-
That he has the urge to read that book again. The one with the fairies. As he watches your slumbering face, your nose scrunching and lips pursing, he thinks the onlt thing missing is the gossamer wings,
His own little fairy.
· · ─────── ·𖄞· ─────── · ·
AAAAAAND we’re done.
First and foremost I want to give the wonderful @oakbuggy her accolades. Her Neteyam x Flora art inspired this fic 100%. A couple months ago I actually messaged her begging her to let me right this for her because I just couldn't get over this crackship of dreams. Thank you for being so patient with me. I hope you enjoy that overstimulation, baby!
PLEASE GO CHECK OUT HER ART. It’s sooooo delish.
This was a monster to write because I just had so many different ideas of what I wanted to do with the two of them and couldn't pinpoint where exactly I wanted the plot to go. Even now its a bit messy but still. I’m a fucking sucker for Neteyam x Flora and I would be more then happy to write more of them if thats something everyone would be into.
Please give me some feedback. What did we think about this writing style? Do we like the Y/N route more?
Until next time sweet honey bees!
2K notes · View notes
reiderwriter · 5 months
Note
hii!! can you do 49 and 68 please??? i love ur writing so much btw
prompts: #49 - "I'm so fucking obsessed with you." #68 - "Sit on my face."
A/N: Thank you for much for requesting! Munch Spencer for the win once again! Not to sound like a broken record, but I think I'm physically incapable of writing a smut that I dont somehow become obsessive over đŸ«Ą I hope you like it!!
Warnings: possessive Spencer, oral sex (f receiving), multiple orgasms, alight come play, penetrative sex, creampie, just some very obsessive writing ngl. 18+ MINORS DNI (that means do not interact for those of you who still don't understand!!)
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You weren't sure if you were going to give into him.
You know it'd taken a lot of courage for the man to ask you out, you'd seen first hand that he threw himself head first into relationships, and that meant he was entirely careful about kindling them.
But you'd been so shocked by Spencer Reid's admission that he was romantically interested in you that you'd all but gaped at him the entire time he stood there talking you through it.
After he'd finished, you still didn't know what to say, you just knew that your entire body was aflame with the words he'd dropped in the space between you, and you were vaguely aware that your phone had clattered to the floor, forgotten.
“Y/N, what do you say? Will you let me take you on a date? Please?”
He stood fidgeting in front of you and you almost apologised but your tongue still wouldn't move accurately.
You swallowed, and calmed your heart from the tempest it was running through in your chest to answer him.
“I need some time to think. We work together, it's going to be complicated and I want to make sure I think this through.” He'd politely agreed to that and seen himself out of your apartment, having appeared on your doorstep at near midnight on a work night.
And two weeks later, you were no closer to your answer.
But Spencer seemed to have grown bolder in his advances. He seemed to have taken your entire plight of never realising he was into you to heart, though. Because you sure as hell knew where he stood now.
He used every excuse to put his hands on you.
He came up behind you, putting his hands on your waist as he slid past you, moving you this way and that to arrive at his intended destination.
You'd found that a most annoying male trait in the past, but when Spencer attempted it, you practically leaned into his heat, shivering each time his hands brushed you.
He'd taken to brushing your hair out of your eyes as well, tucking it behind your ear in front of others, and, embarrassingly enough, tying it up for you with one of his own hair elastics.
You'd frozen in the moment as you leaned down to examine some footprints on a case, complaining your hair was in your face as he immediately came up behind you and began gently pulling it up himself.
His fingers moved skillfully, and felt soothing on your scalp as he made sure to get every hair.
You couldn't even say a word of thanks as you sat there wondering what the fuck had just happened, and if anyone else had been witness to it.
Luckily, no one had, and you could only contemplate it alone.
And contemplate it you did. In bed. In the shower. In your sleep. You couldn't stop contemplating it.
You couldn't seem to step over the boundary of professional working relationship to more, though.
So you weren't exactly surprised when he showed back up on your doorstep a month later.
“Spencer. Did something happen?” you breathed a slow sigh as you opened the door to see him standing there, still and tense, as if he was ready to spring an attack at any second.
“I'm obsessed with you.” His voice was low as he took a slow step forward, letting his gaze rest on your lips, and not moving it as he continued his path forward.
“I'm obsessed with you and I've tried to show you that for the last month, and god, please you have to please release me from this if you can't accept it.” He took another step closer and then he was in your apartment and closing the door behind him, blocking out the cold that had your nipples hardening. You assumed it was the cold.
“I think about how you would taste daily, how you would smell, how you would feel wrapped around me, the sounds you would make. I think about any other man getting close to you and I feel angry and sad and my chest physically aches.”
“I think about how I could make you happy, how you'd smile at me every morning,” his hand hesitantly reached up to tuck another stray hair behind your ear as he stuttered through yet another confession.
He was close now, so close your back was pressed against a wall as you resisted your chest meeting his.
“I will leave and never mention this or touch you again if you can't take that on, but if even one part of you thinks this is an experience you want
”
You finally looked into his eyes as your fingertips rushed forward to touch him, darting out to feel his chest and press yourself further into his warmth.
The physical confirmation must have been enough, as in moments his lips were dropping to meet your own in a sweet, but still strong kiss.
He moved achingly slowly as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you further in to his atmosphere, taking each small caress as an indulgence, each run of your lips across his as a blessing coated in lust.
He went so luxuriously slow, that you had to be the one to pull him in closer, to give into the passion threatening to throttle you from inside out.
You tugged him back through your apartment to your bed, making sure to rid him of his coat as you went, lips still exploring each other as you did. His hands held you firmly, wrapping you up in a strong embrace even as you needed him to move faster, to touch, caress, tease, and pleasure you.
You pushed him away when your back hit another wall, only so you could get some air between you as you waited for the next logical step in the direction you were headed.
“Spencer, I want you to make love to me.” You always hated that phrase, feeling it was so cheesy and overly sentimental, and yet that was the only way you could describe what you wanted from him.
He looked at you and suddenly, it was as if a flip had switched inside him. His slow, discovering kisses became bruising and hot as he marked his way down your neck, eager to please and desperate to know all of you. Your body was another book Spencer needed to read, more knowledge for him to acquire and never forget, never let go of.
Gently raising you off the ground, he pinned you against the wall, as you wrapped your legs around his waist, feeling his notable arousal through his clothes. He began divesting you of yours, the casual t-shirt you'd slipped into after work being easy work for his hands, sweatpants following suit as he memorised every inch of flesh visible to him.
With two hands firmly cradling your ass, he made his way into your bedroom, and sat on the edge of the bed, you in hand. Your core rubbed over his cock, and a deep dissatisfaction crept up your body. You were empty and you wanted so badly for him to fill you.
Your need became a great force clawing at his clothes, rocking your hips into him needing as you scrambled button after button, wishing your hands would obey your mind.
He groaned under you, the sound catching you off-guard and flooding your panties even more. He caught your hips and steadied your pace as you worked yourself up to a high without ever having fully touched him.
“Y/N
” He breathed it out like a prayer and a curse combined, pushing your hips down tighter as he tried to put an end to your elicit movements.
“Y/N stop, I want
” His lips finally left your neck as he took a deep breath, opening his eyes to look directly into yours.
“Sit on my face.” It was a demand, one that wouldn't be ignored, and honestly, you weren't sure you wanted to ignore it.
He laid himself down more comfortably on the bed, pulling you down with him as he stroked small circles into your lower back.
His hands worked down until they reached the waistband of your panties, hooked a finger under them and slowly dragged them off your ass, forcing your hips up to get them further away from his prize.
“Please, Y/N. Please sit on my face.” You moaned at the request again, dropping one final messy kiss to his lips before climbing up and over his head.
You completed the job he started with your underwear, deciding to go the extra mile and discard your bra as well. He wrapped his hands around your thighs and shifted your cunt to better suit his own position, and you braced yourself as he pulled you closer to his devilish tongue.
The first swipe of it was so foreign that you almost bolted upright like a cat dropped into a bathtub. But he held you fast and pulled you right back down as he began his meal. He'd said his prayers, and now he was ready to indulge himself in the taste he'd been craving for the last month.
You braced your hands on the metal headboard of your bed, thankful that you lived alone as you knew there was no way of muffling the noises that were beginning to toll off your tongue.
Head thrown back in pleasure, it was all you could do to not beg him to never stop, to keep up your pleausure for eternity, even as he left himself unsatisfied and rock hard.
Everytike you pulled slightly back from the stimulation, he pulled you even further in, until you were sure he couldn't breath, his mouth and nose so lost in your heat and so intent on your pleasure.
You almost forgot it was his face below you, and started desperately riding him, grinding your clit into anything that would allow for some friction.
Every few minutes he came up for a larger breath, letting his fingers slip inside you as he explored your every reaction.
There was only so much you could take, and apparently tongue and fingers was just that step too far, as you let your body convulse over him.
He let you ride it out, drinking in every drop of juice that escaped you, finally getting that taste he'd become so obsessed with discovering.
When you finally pulled away, his lips and chin were slick with your arousal, and his face was awash with desire.
A tiny push had you on your back as he crawled up between your legs again, taking the time to unclassified his pants and pull them off, discarding them along eith the shirt you'd so painstakingly unbuttoned for him.
“I am going to make love to you, Y/N, and you are going to be mine. You'll always be mine.” His forehead rested against your own as he finally slid inside of you, sheathing his whole cock inside of you as it expanded with his intrusion, trying to find room for him.
He fit like a glove, provided the glove felt this fucking good, so warm and comforting to know he was filling you completely.
His thrusts began and you were almost overwhelmed by the sheer arousal he inspired in each heartbeat.
Wanton moans left your mouth as words failed you, tongue lolling about as you desperately wished he'd slip his head down to let you taste yourself on him.
“I love you so much, Y/N,” he said, tightening his grip on your hips so much you were sure his nails were going to leave tiny crescents carved into your very bones.
Your second orgasm snuck up on you, hips suddenly jolting up as if they'd a mind of their own, milking his cock as he whimpered at the sudden tightness.
“Y/N, I love you. I love you, I love you I love you so much,” the words were overwhelming as you struggled to speak through the after shocks of your climax, legs still twitching even as he spilled his seed inside of you.
“Now you're mine,” he whispered into your ear as he again found a stray lock of your hair and tugged it right back behind your ear, as if it would help you to see him that much clearer.
Your vision was already so filled with him though, that you were sure it would not matter how far he was or how obstructed your view, he would be the only thing you saw for the rest of your life.
Maybe you were a little obsessed with him as well.
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mondaymelon · 4 months
Note
OMGGG what about the tall genshin men reacting when u suddenly distance urself from them, but they dont know its bc of something they said? feel free to edit n modify this as much as ud like :3
₊˚ෆ "𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓, 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄
" | diluc, childe, kaveh x gn!reader
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art by @/kongqingkoqi on twitter! (not too sure on who you meant by tall characters, so i just chose a couple males with the tall model~ thank you for your request!)
— cw: angst + comfort ? injury (diluc), ngl reader is kinda a bitch in childe's but it was the only way i thought up of of making the situation work so. lmao. cries
[ Perhaps it was the winter cold that had bit him so, or perhaps it was merely a gloom that had briefly descended upon him. Either way, an unfortunate slip of the tongue has wounded you, yet they themselves remain unaware. ]
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"Love?"
DILUC's eyes are round with worry, and his concerned gaze sweeps over you - from your crestfallen form, and then to your eyes that shy away from his. Ever since he had returned to the estate after being out of business since morning, you've been avoiding him, not wishing to speak a single word to his self and not even bothering to spare him a fleeting glance.
At first, it was bearable. Perhaps you just had had a long day and wanted some alone time, no? It was always a possibility, that is, until he saw your smiling self as you busied yourself in chatting away with the maids, and most importantly, that brother of his.
What had he done to warrant such treatment? You loved him, that he was sure of. Otherwise, you would've rejected him, wouldn't you? You wouldn't have let him take your hand and bring it to his lips ever so slowly, pressing a kiss into your knuckles?
"Love, I... I'm sorry. Please, tell me what I did wrong." His voice contains a shred of his desperation, and his crimson eyes only hold you in their gaze. You, who had broken past his carefully crafted walls and rekindled the flame that had long since been extinguished within his heart. "If it's something I did, if it's something I said-"
“Diluc, you
” Your quiet voice ebbs to silence as your eyes glance away, landing on everything except for the red-haired man before you, whose broad shoulders give the slightest tremor. The darkness in your expression, the displayed hurt
 Ah.
Diluc’s weary mind raced, recollecting the hasty conversation from this morning, when dawn had yet to break and he had arrived home, coat blazing, skin littered in bruises and still-bleeding cuts. You had rushed out of your bedroom, still in your night garments, panicking over the wounds that covered his body and the red that blackened his already dark clothes. In a strained voice, eyes wide and frantic, you had called for the maids, only for Diluc to forcibly shush you, steadying himself on shaky legs.
“Love, what happened, what were you doing and how did-??”
“It doesn’t concern you.” His tone is low, tired. “Stay out of this, you won’t be able to offer any assistance anyhow.”
Begrudgingly, the man recalled his absolute exhaustion, having just returned after a bloody night of battling monsters, muscles sore and crying for relief. There was no need for your concern, his cuts would mend and his wounds would heal. Yet he hadn’t meant for his words to come out so harsh, for his tongue to pierce you in the way it had.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't in my right mind when I said that- I just... I just didn't want you to be hurt also... If I'm injured, those wounds will fade with time, but I.."
His words trail off, replaced with your silence - a voiceless agreement, one that Diluc takes as an answer. Holding both your hands in his gloved ones, it's somehow easy to feel his fiery warmth despite his cold demeanor. Cold... was it really so? The male's eyes shone, and then you were in his arms, tightly intertwined.
"..I don't know what I would do if harm were to befell you, love..."₊˚ෆ
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"Love!"
CHILDE's playful smile fades at its corners as you walk past him, the way you're failing to even acknowledge his presence painfully apparent. "Hah... what's with you today?" Another absence of a response. You dash your way out of his sight, and he's left alone in the dark living room, a half-smile still on his features. The fuck?
Okay, maybe it was just one of those days. There had been several since the start of the relationship, and the harbinger offered his utmost understanding. Sometimes people just felt like shit, and didn't feel like doing shit, and he could understand that to some extent.
There, mystery solved, yeah? Ah, but just one problem, how come you had been completely fine just an hour before? He had the day off, and so did you, so there was a mutual agreement to just stay home and laze about in one another's presence - yet it was only nearing lunchtime and you had already given him the cold shoulder? For what..? You hadn't even gone outside or did anything today-
Oh. Then he had to have been the problem. He raps his knuckles on your bedroom door, but it's really his bedroom too, and is bold enough to poke his head through the frame without waiting for your confirmation, a hesitant grin decorating his lips. "Love, I'm sorry- for ah... whatever you disliked...?"
You're sat at your desk, weariness evident in your darkened eyes. "Childe, do you find me someone who needs to be protected?"
He blinks. "...What?"
"Childe, do you really just want to spend the entire day lying around?" Snapping your fingers, your eyes lit up with sparkles. "We should go to a cafe or something for lunch, maybe, and then-"
"Why through go all the effort? We're staying home because I thought you wanted to, aren't we?"
"Not to that extent Childe... if you were with friends, what would you be doing? Not sitting on the couch all day, I hope?" A sheepish smile crossed your face.
"Hmm.. friends... I suppose we'd duel...?"
"Then-"
"Nope, no way am I dueling with you, you're way too weak, love, that's why I gotta protect you, hm?"
He immediately shakes his head at your words, almost frantic. "W- No, I didn't mean it in that way, love. You're capable, it's just that... Well- you don't have a vision, or a weapon, or-"
"Childe." Not your usual 'love', a bright smile on your lips, and he flinches just the slightest at the sight. "We're in a relationship. I don't want to be in a give all take all relation, you know? I.. I want to be independent, I want you to rely on me sometimes too... I just feel like sometimes I'm just such a burden to you and-"
"A burden?" His eyes widen, features instantly shadowing with disbelief at your words.
You, a burden? Such a thing couldn't possibly be. The warmth that you had granted him, the delicate arms that had held him in its hold, the lips that had whispered such affections and pressed kisses on his skin-
"No, love. You are not a burden, not when you are someone who makes life worth living." ₊˚ෆ
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"Love...?"
KAVEH's in instant full blown panic mode, the dark bags under his eyes especially evident with how wide they've grown. "H-Hey, are you okay?" Of course, something wasn't okay - otherwise, why would you be ignoring him like this? But his sleepless mind has grown frantic, and he's desperate for relief. His hand latches onto yours before you can disappear into another room, holding onto your wrist loosely enough to not seem forceful. "Ah..."
He'd moved without thinking, almost as if on instinct, and now that you had glanced back with something colder in your gaze, that same urge told him not to let go. "I, I'm sorry!" For what exactly, he wouldn't even be able to tell a soul, yet the words seemed to have done the trick, as your feet pause in the middle of a step away from him, hesitance clear in your expression.
"For what, Kaveh?"
Shit, he's fucked. This was it, all the all nighters and hours of laborious planning and calculations had led to this one moment... His mind was spurred into action as his mouth sputtered useless stutters and... oh, could it be?
"Kaveh, you should go to sleep, it's already so late, and you haven't gotten a good rest in days, love..." Your concerned tone rang clearly in his ears, but he shook the words away, his disheveled form only focusing on the work before him, the endless tasks he had yet to complete.
"No, I... I can't. Love, could you brew me a cup of coffee, the extra strong kind? Thank you..." He gave his sleepy eyes a rub, completely missing the look that had flitted across your face in that moment.
Your sigh invades his flashbacks, and you look completely done with him, brows furrowed a fraction and lips drawn into a thin line. "Kaveh, please, for the love of the archons, take some better care of yourself."
"...Ah?"
Suddenly, your tone had shifted in the span of a half second, and instead of the angry gaze he had expected, it was more so... scolding. Concern. "Close that jaw of yours, Kaveh, how come you look so surprised? I've told you this time and time again, you need rest!"
An accusing finger was pointed in his direction, the bearer someone he was certainly very familiar with. "Well, it's a big project, I have to finish it by next week and there's barely any time, so I need to-"
"-And how can you possibly plan on functioning if you haven't gotten any sleep?"
Curses, a valid argument. Kaveh slowly held up his empty hands in defeat, chuckling sheepishly. So this was about him, and not you? Thank the archons, for a second he had thought he had messed up big time-
"That look of yours, you better not be thinking what I think you're thinking! And, besides..." You glanced at the ground, as if suddenly reluctant to speak another word. "I was waiting for you so we could sleep together..."
...An angel? Was that who was before him?
"I-I'm sorry... I promise I'll take better care of myself and... you won't have to wait for me, tonight. I'll turn in early, love." ₊˚ෆ
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(a/n) not all that proud of this one. but here. sigh
reblogs are veryyyy appreciated!! if you liked this fic, please consider following, as im super close to a follower goal id love to hit before new years! thank you.
໒꒱ || áŽ›áŽ€ÉąÊŸÉȘꜱ᎛ (open! send an ask or a comment ♡) : @manager-of-the-pudding-bank, @iamdedinside, @ilyuu, @achlysis, @swivy123, @scara-is-my-wife, @lupicalbestwolf, @justyoureader, @fiannee, @aether-darling 
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norizz-nation · 6 months
Note
Hi can you do a Carlos x French reader smut I want the dynamic to be daddy and baby girl but can you don’t do directly the smut like can you explain before what happened to have them in bed if you can example what they were doing befoređŸ„čđŸ«¶đŸ»thx you’re the bestđŸ„°đŸ’“đŸ«¶đŸ»
Thank you so much sweetheart and I hope I can reach your expectations ❀
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My little angel ❀
Summary: your parents finally allowed you to go abroad on a vacation and you decided to go to spain where things took a quick turn
Warnings: nsfw, 18+, daddy kink, size kink, choking, praise kink
“Please mum! Im 22 now! I can go out alone” you stated to your mum as she kept saying no for quite a few times. You then let out a frustrated sigh as your mum said “well just dont do anything illegal and dont get in trouble okay?” you then rolled your eyes and couldn’t help but laugh at what she just said. “Aweh mum dont worry” you said as you hugged her tightly.
Honestly you were loving Spain, the weather, the people, the atmosphere everything was so different than what its in France. It has been 2 days since you’re here, loving your sweet little trip. After roaming around in Madrid for a while you wanted to go to this museum although you didn’t like museums that much.
As you went there you sort of felt lost because you didn’t actually see the museum map before going inside which ended up you wandering here and there. All this time there was this man who was examining every move of yours from distance. You suddenly bumped to a man when you turned around and apologized immediately as you looked up at him who was looking at you with a smirk on his face. “You look like youre lost in this town, lost in this museum. Do you need help baby girl?” He asked, his tone was so polite and gentle. “Baby girl?” You asked as you furrowed your brows and crossed your arms together. He then chuckled at your question and started nodding his head. “I mean, you look really young and innocent. May i know what your name is?” He asked as he looked at you straight in the eye. “Im y/n not baby girl” you said as you rolled your eyes at him and he smiled. “Im carlos by the way. But you dont seem like you’re from here. Are you?” He asked as you shook your head. “No no im actually french” you said. “Wow that’s interesting, i can show you around baby girl” carlos said as he pointed at the main gate to signal you to leave with him and you just smiled.
The whole evening was fun with him, every little jokes he cracked made you laugh so hard. Teaching you a little bit of spanish in between your conversations with him. Everything just seemed great with him. But the “baby girl” nickname just stayed there. “Why do you keep calling me that? I have a name” you said as you laughed a little. “Because you are a baby girl. So beautiful and innocent for this world” he said as he got closer to you. His lips just a few inches away from yours as you started to feel the heat rush through your body. Somehow his presence was so powerful that you could just give yourself to him. You parted your lip a little as you tried to lean in but Carlos grabbed your face and snapped you back to reality. “Oh, you try to be so wild in front of me but inside you’re just a sweet little angel, so naive and sweet” he said as his thumb started to caress your lips as the need inside of you grew much more than before.
“Youre so innocent baby girl. Oh the things I would love to do to you, right now” he said that was just like a whisper in your ear. “Like what?” You asked as you looked up at him with doe eyes. “Oh you’ll know soon, you’ll know” he said as he came more closer, letting your heart beat faster than before. Your whole body stiffened as he felt him pull away and smirk just inches away from your lips, teasing you to the point where you couldn’t take it anymore as you let out a frustrated sigh. “Being frustrated wont help baby girl, come with me” he said as he turned around to look at you with a cocky smile on his face.
The fragrance his house had was so warm and welcoming as you sat on the couch and carlos brought a bottle of wine and placed it on the table. After a couple of drinks you started to feel carlos’ cologne more in your nose. You just wanted to wrap your hands around him. The tension grew stronger between you two.
Carlos then came closer to you as he placed his huge hands on your thigh chuckling at the sight that you are so small. "Fuck baby girl, you're really small for me. But dont worry im gonna make it fit in your hole. All your holes" he whispered in your ear as shiver ran down your spine and you rubbed your thighs together. "God, look at you. Already needy." he said as he looked down and looked back at you as he came closer to lips and brushed his lips with yours causing you to open your mouth a little but that didn’t help. You then whined and groaned as you looked at him with puppy eyes. “You really think youre gonna get what you want from me just by whining? Not at all angel. Use your pretty little mouth of yours” he said as his hand wrapped around your neck, choking it lightly first then tightening the grip as you gulped at the sight in front of you. He then pulled your t-shirt up and dropped it on the floor as he wrapped his hands around your waist to lift you up and position you properly on your back, as he groaned at the fact that his hands fit perfectly around your waist. “God, even your waist is smaller than my hands” he said as he trailed his finger down your lower abdomen as you started to squirm in his touch again.
He then tucked in your pants and you tried to push it down by grabbing his hand but he was strong enough to stay still and not push it down. “Use. Your. Words” he said, his tone so cold as you whined out. “I-i want you” you managed to say. “No its not good enough baby girl. Tell me properly” he said as he unzipped your pants slowly. “I want y-you to fuck me. P-please” you said whining as you ran your hands over his chest. “Yeah thats more like it” he said as he grabbed your hand and kissed it. He then pulled your pants down along with your underwear and did the same with himself.
Carlos brushed his tip at your entrance that made wet sounds from your pussy as a string of slick connected with his dick to your pussy as he groaned at the sight. “Fuck baby girl, your pussy is so small for me. Can you take it like a good little girl you are? Take it all for me?” He said as he caressed your face and you nodded impatiently. He then went inside of you slowly and stayed still for a moment until you started to rock your hips against him. At first his thrusts were slow and gentle but he went deep inside of you every time. “Fuck carlos, stop teasing me” you said as you bucked your hips up. “Beg for it baby girl” he said as he smirked at you. “F-fuck me harder daddy p-please!” You pleaded as he choked you again and kissed your ear before saying “daddy huh? youre that needy?” you just nodded as he went faster and you dig your nails in his forearms. “Fuck fuck f-fuuuck yes!” You screamed out.
Carlos then pulled your legs above his shoulder and kissed your ankles as he continued to fuck you. The heat between you two, the intensity, everything was just too much to handle. “You look like an angel baby girl” he said as he groaned. “My little angel” he threw his head back as his breathing got heavier. “Daddy i-im gonna c-cum so bad, fuck” you said as your back started to arch uncontrollably. “Me too baby girl, me too” he said breathlessly. You both got down from your high when carlos kissed you, so softly that it made you melt. His kiss was so sweet and gentle.
“Wanna watch the stars?” He asked out of nowhere as he kissed your forehead. “Yes” you said that was like a whisper. You both then went to the terrace as you snuggled in his arms and watched the stars. His finger twirling in your back as he rested his face on your head. “When are you gonna go back to France?” He asked softly, his voice sounded like he wanted you to stay there forever, with him. “Tomorrow evening” you said as you looked up at him and saw his face froze as he said nothing. You sat back up with a concerned look on your face. “I can come visit you again if you want carlos” you said as you cupped his face and his face started to fall. His eyes begging you to stay. “Or maybe I can go visit you” he said, his voice started to break a bit. You smiled and nodded. “Yeah exactly” you said. “Promise me you’ll come back again” carlos said as he came closer to you. You then hugged him tightly “i promise carlos” you reassured him as you felt tear in the corner of your eye.
A/N: requests are open! feel free to ask what you want me to write! luv you ❀
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joonsytip · 1 year
Text
Anonymously Yours || Joshua Hong
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Pairings: Joshua x Fem!Reader Genre: Fluff, Angst, Humour (broken coz mine), high school au, enemies to lovers au, strangers to lovers au, anonymously yours au. Synopsis: After an accidental text message turns into a digital friendship, you and Joshua start crushing on each other without realizing you both see each other frequently in real life. Notable Mention: You both hate each other's guts.... Word Count: 18.6k Inspired By: Mexican Flick - Anonymous yours. Warnings: profanities, Joshua acts dumb one big time, mentions of periods, tears and tears but mostly fluffy, protagonists don't know how to act around each other (lmk if I missed any) Banner credits to my baby @wannabeyourshua . Also, it's your birthday present from me, hope you like it! Taglist: @wannabeyourshua @hoeforhao @kimmych @chocolatekdramakpopfreak @starlight-night0 @alyssng @imsjane @i-dont-give-a-fok @gaebestie @meowmeowminnie @hanniehaeism
Please heart, comment and reblog, would really help to keep me going <3
[SVT Flick : Fic Masterlist] [SVT Masterlist]
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Unknown Number:
[3:05 AM] Hey!
It was great meeting you! Maybe we should meet again sometime soon :)
What do you think?
You:
[3:09 AM] It's 3am for god's sake???
You got the wrong number!
Unknown Number:
[3:10 AM] Haha, not funny! It's me.
You gave me your number at the party :(
[3:12 AM] They gave you the wrong number obviously.
Now stop right there & let me sleep!!!
The blaring sound of the alarm is hurting your ears and adding to your headache.
"Ugh, I can't even sleep without getting interrupted.", you groan but manage to lift your body to do two trivial things. One, stopping that goddamn alarm. Two, checking your phone.
8 AM. The time glares back at you.
You have a class at 9, well assignment submission to be more precise and you're still in your bed, half awake, half grumpy.
Next half an hour goes in a blur as you gobble down your breakfast and smoothie that your mother makes daily, it's almost like a tradition and good part is that you don't hate it. The only bad part is that the same conversation that follows everyday of them insisting you to join the family business and you dismissing them because you have a passion that you want to turn into profession.
Currently you're waiting for your best friend, Hyerin, who's never not late to pick you up.
Some insights on Hyerin, she's your best friend, have been your friend since when you knew could pronounce that term. She's pretty, easy going, quite popular and star player of the school's tennis team.
Hyerin Calling....
You don't have to pick up that call so rather you are running straight down the block knowing that she's waiting there with her jeep.
"Babe, I'm late because of her.", she says as she points at her younger sister, Hyejoo who is seated in the backseat.
"I admit. But you know the other 99 times of 100, we're late because of whom", she immediately quips back in her defense.
You roll your eyes, bored of their banter and turn on the radio to have a vibe to jam to till you the reach the school.
As soon as you cross the threshold of the school, Hyerin is hijacked by Jeonghan, her tennis partner and Hyejoo situates herself with basketball teammates when she spots them.
And you're left alone.
And you're used to it.
The final bells rings indicating that you should be now sprinting to the class to avoid the grudges of your literature teacher.
You are with your full concentration tangling the wires of your earphones around the phone while climbing up the stairs when you suddenly bump into someone.
Your head whips up to see the other person, glaring at you having his shirt stained in coffee which he was supposed to drink.
"Sorry, very sorry", you take out your handkerchief and just as try to dap on the shirt, that person backs away.
"Please give your number, I'll pay for the dry cleaning.", you say politely.
"No need, I can pay for myself", that person grumbles, "Do me favour and from next time keep your eyes open while walking."
He says and walks away leaving you speechless and infuriated.
"What an ass, I was trying to nice.", you mutter before sprinting to the class.
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Joshua is already having a bad day so when the only thing he was looking forward to, coffee from his favourite café got spilled on his shirt because of some girl who can't walk straight, he is vexed.
Fortunately, he doesn't have classes within next hour so he goes straight to basketball ground. He has been enrolled into this high school recently so he has no friends, neither he intends to make any.
He fishes out his phone and taps on a contact who's name he doesn't know and proceeds to send a text.
Joshua:
[9:35 AM] Hey, sorry for waking you up last night.
Stranger:
[9:36 AM] No worries, I fell asleep right back.
Joshua:
A heavy sleeper it seems lol.
Stranger:
[9:37 AM] You can say that. And whoever did this to you is so mean, they could have told you no instead of doing this.
Joshua:
[9:37 AM] Ikr. I was at this party last night when my best friend insisted me to ask her number coz according to him I was checking her out.
Stranger:
[9:40 AM] Didn't work out for you :(
"Hey cutie, are you new here?", Joshua who is now quietly watching the match is called out by Hyejoo.
"I am.", he responds right away.
"Wanna play with us?", Hyejoo asks twirling the ball on her index, a sly smile set on her lips.
"Yes.", Joshua simply says and jogs down to the play arena.
"Before we get started, I'm hosting a party today and you're invited.", Hyejoo says, her expecting eyes staring at him.
"Thanks for the invite but sorry I won't be attending.", Joshua replies and extends his hand, asking for the ball.
Hyejoo immediately backs down, tossing the ball , "Then you don't get to play."
"What?", Joshua's face twists in a mix of confusion and rage.
"You heard it right.", Hyejoo taunts him further.
"Are you being serious?", Joshua chuckles in disbelief, "Such a spoilt brat."
Hearing this, Hyejoo's friend Jisung walks upto him and grabs his collar in aggression, "What did you say?"
"Exactly what you heard. You're her bodyguard or what?", Joshua smirks.
And the next second a hard punch lands on his face. Just as he was about to retort the sports coach shouts, "The group over there, you're all going for detention."
A series of groans are heard.
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You look around in utter disappointment. Well, detention room could and should never be appealing to anyone.
It's your fault you're here because you couldn't cure your curiosity when you saw a text from the familiar unknown number and your hands immediately to had respond back even after getting two warnings from the teacher.
Sitting idle never does you good, so you deck your bag on the desk which is going to act as a makeshift pillow and next you rest your head on it.
Joshua enters the room and the first person he spots is you, who had deprived him the privilege of drinking morning coffee.
With a scowl set on his face, he walks past you and sits on the corner most seat.
Next, a smile plasters on his face as he takes out his phone goes through the conversation between him and the stranger.
Mrs. Yoo walks in with all her glory knowing she's very much despised by the students not because she's an ass of a person but for her detention projects she puts everyone through.
You heave a sigh, unbothered to greet the teacher.
Her heels clanks sharply against the floor as she walks to the teacher's desk and taps her finely manicured nail against the table with a sickening sweet smile plastered on her face, sweet enough to make everyone else present in the room barf out.
"I'll get to the point straight. Block your calendars for Saturdays & Sunday, 2 to 5, every week.", she orders, unphased by the string of protests coming in.
You exchange glances with Hyejoo, who looks equally terrified.
"But I have classes", you speak up, "And I guess everyone has some or other sort of commitments as well."
"That's for you and everyone else to manage. Should have thought before.", she points her eyes at you and moves on, "I'll create a gc and add everyone of you. So the venue of next meetup will be shared across. And I want full attendance.", her voice holds the authority and every single being present there knows that they would be attending otherwise the wrath of Mrs. Yoo is not something anyone would like face.
Sundays are no more Fundays.
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Hyerin's are rich rich. So whenever her parents are out of town for business, both the sisters throw parties and invite the whole town, okay not whole but they'll be almost there soon.
And you are present in each of them, as a pure obligation and to be a good friend to Hyerin.
Parties are not your thing, it never was and it's safe to say it will never be. Because your social batteries are weak and that's why while everyone is doing beer pongs or fuzzy duck or whatever questionable things, you sit by the pool, in calm, legs dipped in the cold water.
"Oh there's my girl!", you hear Hyejoo as she sits beside you.
"Congrats, you found me.", you shrug and swing your legs lightly in the water, making a brief eye contact with her.
"Thanks for coming.", she says leaning on her shoulders, "I know parties are not your thing but your presence matters. And thanks for these dresses? Like I don't know how you do it everytime, you have magic in your hands ."
"Don't go all sappy on me, Joo.", you chuckle and lay your head on hers, "But thanks for the words."
"Anything for you, love.", she smiles and closes her eyes basking in your presence until she hears a call of her name.
"Gotta go.", she immediately gets up and sprints to the hall as she yells, "Tell me whenever you wanna leave, I'll drop you off!"
You shake your head and take out your phone.
You:
[9 PM] You there?
Unknown Number :
[9:01 PM] Hey!
Just pulling a marathon of Victorious.
[9:02 PM] Cool! Cat Valentine my love.
Do you like parties?
Unknown Number:
[9:04 PM] Depends on the people, both accompanying and hosting.
What about you?
You:
[9:05 PM] I don't exactly like parties.
I'm that miserable wallflower :(
Unknown Number:
[9:07 PM] Come on, you're not miserable, it's just that you don't feel it, you're not into it.
You :
[9:09 PM] Maybe....
Joshua stares at the phone screen a little longer before chucking the phone on the bed. He sighs and his thoughts drift away to the same old wistful thinking.
There's a knock on the door and he hums in acknowledgement, allowing the person to enter.
"Make space for me, I'm tired.", Mingyu is already nudging Joshua who lets out a grunt but shifts anyway.
"If you're tired, go to your home and sleep on your bed.", Joshua remarks in an agitating tone but both of them know that he's actually far from that.
Mingyu laughs and snuggles closer to him, "That's not how you treat your best friend.", he playfully quips, "I have a match on Sunday, you're coming right?"
"When have I missed any of your matches?", Joshua rolls eyes, "Mixed Doubles?"
Mingyu nods, "The practice is thinning me tired.", he then taps on Joshua's arm and the later extends his arm so Mingyu can lay his head on.
"How's new school?", Mingyu asks.
A bit of silence before Joshua answers, "It's okay."
"Made new friends?", Mingyu asks with concern.
"No. Don't wanna.", Joshua says, "I'm just doing it because I have to."
"Tried talking to your mom about this?"
"Gyu", he trails off even though he has so much to say.
"I'm all ears Josh. Even if it's the same old talk, I'm willing to listen. Please tell me.", he insists.
"I had promised dad, that I'd become like him.", Joshua stills when that exact memory flash in front of his eyes, "After his death, I have fully devoted myself to studies so that I can get accepted to the best law academy. My mom always keeps on encouraging me and I know she wants to keep my dad's profession alive through me because she thinks I'm as much interested She's not at fault for doing so but..."
Mingyu waits with all the patience in the world, just for his friend to pour out everything, so that it hurts him less, so that his suffocation lessens even if in miniscule amount.
Pouring out is always better than bottling in.
Joshua relents for a moment but he knows that the listener is never going to judge him, that he's always there to share the burden so he continues, "When I was younger it was fascinating, I wanted to become lawyer but in recent years I don't feel the same. Heck, I don't even know what I like or what I'd like to have in as a career but it's definitely not something in law."
Mingyu listens and he worries a lot about his best friend because he knows that Joshua isn't particularly vocal and impulsive. He's neither outspoken nor indecisive.
If it had been him, Mingyu would have relayed his thoughts to his parents and worked a way out but it's not him.
It's Joshua.
It's Joshua, who would never willingly hurt his mother, even if it costs his mental health and choices.
It's Joshua, who on Mingyu's fifteenth birthday gifted him a Yonex Racket because Mingyu wanted one from long time but his parents weren't interested to invest in such an expensive racket. It had costed Joshua all his savings. It also costed Joshua his ears for all the scoldings he got from his and Mingyu's parents.
Mingyu is perceptive.
Joshua is also perceptive except for times when it comes to himself.
"Take your time Josh. We're too young to be worried about stuffs.", Mingyu says and turns to the other side, "Set the alarm at 6. I have practice."
"You're so bothersome.", Joshua quips with no seriousness instead setting the alarm on his phone but only after kicking Mingyu on his shin, "Go change into something comfortable atleast."
Mingyu just hums and Joshua pulls over the comforter.
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Mrs. Yoo stands patiently and all the students wonder why in the world they are standing outside an abandoned playground.
"I am gonna divide everyone in teams of two and you're gonna paint the walls of this playground.", Mrs. Yoo smiles wide as she sees the distress showcasing on the faces of her students, "and do gardening."
"What's the meaning of us doing all this?", you voice out in genuine concern.
"To make you all aware of the privileges you have been availing all your life.", Mrs. Yoo answers, "And I decide when the detention will be over so behave accordingly."
As if it wasn't already nauseating, Mrs. Yoo decides it's best if you pair up with Joshua Hong.
The same Joshua Hong who can't look at you without glaring.
"So let's start with making the soil bed", you say not looking at him as you two manage to gather some wooden sticks and tie the ends together.
Joshua hums disinterested and suddenly pours the bag containing manure into the bed without soil.
"Stop! what are you doing?", you scream as if facing a mid life crisis and he glares at you again.
You sigh, "That's not how it's done. We'll have to put a layer of soil and level it first --"
"Fine.", he cuts of you and starts pouring the soil bags one after one.
Your eye twitches and you think Joshua Hong can't be this dumb. He is definitely trying to stress you out.
"You're not helping at all, if you're doing it wrong.", you relay your mind to him and it irks you more when Joshua's response is same, it comes in form of his glare.
You glare back at him and he finally says, "Okay, do it yourself then."
He walks away and you're actually relieved because being in his vicinity is becoming the bane of your existence.
Suddenly your phone dinges and you smile looking at the notifications.
Unknown Number:
[3:26 PM] I'm having a really bad day àČ _àČ 
You:
[3:28 PM] Yours wouldn't even compare to mine.
There's this boy whom I really can't tolerate but we keep on meeting.
Unknown Number:
[3:29 PM] Lol Same! There's a girl and I don't want her to even breath in my direction.
You: [3:30 PM] Damn, we're in same predicament huh.
Unknown Number:
[3:31 PM] Guess so... Gotta go, bye.
You:
[3:32 PM] Bye bye! He's coming towards me again, gosh àŒŽàș¶â â€żâ àŒŽàș¶
Unknown Number:
[3:32 PM] Goodluck, I guess...
Joshua laughs as he sends the text. The lingering smile on his face immediately vanishes when his eyes lands on you.
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"Do you prefer to paint with brush or rollers?", you ask Joshua who's busy watching something on his phone.
He presses pause button on the screen and looks at you, "First of all, I can't paint to save my life.", he states, "So brush or rollers doesn't matter. It's same for me."
You nod and hand him a roller, "You won't be much help here too, so please do a favour and with start painting the walls these rollers, roll up vertically please. Don't change the direction."
"Who are you to order me around?", Joshua glares at you.
You think you are going to get hernia because of stress he's giving you lately.
"I'm someone who knows how to paint so instead of running your mouth why don't you try utilising those hands of your?", you spat out and turn around walking to the opposite side.
Joshua sees red.
He thinks he's going to have appendicitis because of the stress you're causing him.
You smile looking at the beautiful hues in the paint buckets.
Atleast something is able to calm your nerves.
"Don't you think he's handsome?"
Suddenly an arm is thrown over your shoulder that almost causes you to topple to the front.
"Who?", you quirk your brows questioningly at Hyejoo.
"Duh, who else your  partner. Joshua Hong.", she answers and turns you around so now you have to look at Joshua again.
You squint eyes at him, "He definitely looks good but he's an asshole."
Hyejoo smirks, "Really? I thought he's a cutie. Anyways, I like him."
You make gagging noises, "You have had not less than thousand crushes and that's totally cool but please not him."
"As if I'd listen to you."
"Yeah whatever. Maximum a week and then you will get to a new guy as always.", you mumble, "So fine."
Hyejoo leaves after Mrs. Yoo warns her to not pester anyone.
You sigh in relief and take out your phone.
You:
[4 PM] Whatcha doing'
Unknown Number:
[4:01 PM] Something I don't know how to do...
You:
[4:02 PM] Lol why?
Unknown Number:
[4:03 PM] Pure Compulsion.
You:
[4:03 PM] Ugh sucks.
Unknown Number:
What sucks more is when you have no one who understands you.
You:
[4:04 PM] Know that feeling.
I feel like no one understands me as well.
Unknown Number:
We have been talking for few days now and we don't even know each other names.
So may I know your name?
You stare at your phone screen, re-reading the text that had just appeared. Suddenly a pleasant idea pops in your mind and you happily type that away.
You:
[4:08 PM] I have an idea.
We won't share our names, any personal details, voices messages or pictures.
We'd be anonymous and get to know each other for real.
What say?
Joshua's face morphs into something that's both confusing and amusing. He doesn't think much finding it fun to try something new.
Joshua:
[4:10 PM] Let's that do.
Anonymous, saved.
Anonymous :
[4:10 PM] Anonymous, Saved :)
Joshua stands up holding the roller and tries to follow what you said. He dips the roller into the paint bucket containing orange paint and starts rolling it up vertically section wise.
He is having fun, too much fun that he accidentally spills the colours on the white tee shirt he is wearing underneath the jacket.
"What the hell?", he grunts, looking at his now stained tee, "Why doesn't anything work out for me?"
He feels emotional all of a sudden. He feels vulnerable, every thoughts that were pushed at the back of his mind starts to resurface.
He remembers the day he lost his father.
He remembers the moment when the girl he liked left the city one day and never came back.
He remembers --
"Hey, are you okay?"
Joshua hears you and falters at the tone of concern in your voice.
He simply nods and faces the wall.
"I can help you", Joshua stiffens but immediately relaxes when you say further, "to fix your tee."
"Do you have spare clothes?"
Joshua turns to face you and nods.
"So go get changed now and give me this tee.", you state and he throws an incredulous look.
"Are you planning to ruin my tee?", he asks, "What are you gonna do with it?"
"You'll see.", you say rolling eyes, "Hurry up, we don't have forever."
Joshua gets changed and hands you the tee.
You search your bag and take out your sewing kit.
Joshua sees your hands skim through the bag again and this time you fish out a bunch of cloth patches.
Next hour passes in a blur as you cut the ends of threads with scissor.
"It's done I guess.", you sigh and look at Joshua, "Manageable? Looks descent?"
He gapes at the tee in your hand and then he gapes at you.
You think he's cute with those bambi eyes resembling that of deers.
He is shaken out of trance by your light nudge.
"Woah, you're....", he manages to speak out, "so good... You gave this tee a whole new look and it's obviously trendier then the previous one."
You smile at his compliments. A smile that doesn't reach your eyes.
"Glad you liked it." you hand him the tee and start to assemble all the scattered tools and clothes putting them in your bag.
Then without another word, you get up and start to walk away.
Joshua ponders as he sees your figure diminishing from his sight, "Why did she look sad even if I was complimenting her?"
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"Damn, did you see that!!", you scream absolutely astonished when Hyerin & Jeonghan won the break point of the game, leading the first set 5-3.
"That's my sister!", yells Hyejoo and looks at you, "She's so good, if she wasn't my sister, I'd have been a fan."
The next game starts soon with Jeonghan doing the first serve and that ends quickly both of them sweeping the game with 40-0. Mingyu and his partner Seji are down by a set.
"Come on Mingyu! You can do better than this!"
You heard a very familiar voice not from far and crane your neck to see Joshua cheering up the opponents.
Must be his friends from previous school, you think.
"Oh my god, Josh's here too.", Hyejoo squeals and you roll eyes choosing to ignore her.
You are recording the match when you feel Hyejoo fleet from your side and it doesn't take a genius to figure out she's going to Joshua.
With the camcorder still recording you turn and through the lens you see a very agitated Joshua who's constantly ignoring whatever Hyejoo is saying.
A smile creeps upon your face.
Joshua suddenly turns and your gazes meet through the lens.
And you freeze.
Joshua squints his eyes at you before walking away and towards the players resting area which makes you realize that the opponents won the second set and you should be doing the same.
You hurriedly run over only to see a pissed off Jeonghan which is scary because the guy is always full of mischiefs and is a moodmaker.
"What happened Han?", you ask and the stare he gives you is enough to regret speaking up.
"Seji, she's his ex Y/N.", Hyerin explains further, "They used to play together and since they didn't end up on good terms it's kinda hard for him to see her and play against her." That clicks, why Seji seemed so familiar to you.
You give a nod of understanding and next you're crouching in front of him and he looks at you in confusion, "Whatever that happened must have happened for a reason and it's all in the past Han. I think it's an opportunity for you."
Jeonghan perks up, "Opportunity?"
"Yes opportunity.", you pat his arm, "For you to get over her and to discard all those lingering feelings. Also to get the cup and lift that trophy. You could have it all sorted Han, it's your now or never moment."
Hyerin listens to you mesmerized and Jeonghan cracks an all toothy grin.
"Thanks Y/N.", he acknowledges, "For making me see things clearer."
You get and huff, "I don't want your thanks. Just win this match and treat me to BRs."
"Okay deal.", Jeonghan extends his pinky and you hook yours to his.
"There's still time, strategize your play", you say looking at the timer, "All the best guys!", and you run away.
"Thank God, Seji has gone to washroom.", Mingyu sighs in relief, "She's already pissed off since she knew we're playing against Jeonghan and if she heard all this, I'd be in trench because you can't motivate the shit to Seji like that girl did."
Joshua glares at his best friend, "Why is this falling on me? Neither I'm playing with you, nor I'm the ex boyfriend. So keep me out of it. If Y/N impresses you that much why don't you ask her for motivation directly."
Mingyu smirks, "Oh Y/N it is. Joshua Hong why do I get this feeling that you're not on good terms with her? I mean your tone says that."
Damn Kim Mingyu for knowing his best friend so well.
Joshua scoffs, "I think you have better things to worry about.", he gets up, "If you loose today, I won't allow you crash at my place for a month."
Mingyu dramatically gasps, "Are you in your right mind? You're scaring me Josh, please don't do this."
"So win this match.", Joshua smirks, 'Think this as your motivation to win."
Mingyu and Seji loose the match.
While you are celebrating with your Hyerin, Jeonghan and Hyejoo, Joshua is getting pestered by Mingyu.
"Are you serious right now?", Joshua asks in disbelief, "You just lost to them and know you want to know if Hyerin is single?"
Mingyu nods quietly liked a kicked puppy but he has no shame at all.
"Really?", Joshua asks again to confirm and when Mingyu doesn't respond he kicks his shin, "Fine. I'm going."
Joshua trudges through the crowd to find someone.
He finds you.
"Hey", he greets and you just nod at him.
"Uh can you help me with something?", he tries to sound as polite as possible, "I just wanted to know something."
"Go ahead."
Though he's cursing at Mingyu in his mind, nonetheless he asks, "You're good friends with Hyerin right?"
"Yeah we are best friends.", you say proudly looking at her as she holds the trophy and chats with Jeonghan.
"Is she single?"
The smile drops off your face and you throw a death glare at Joshua.
"Why do you wanna know that?"
Beads of sweat accumulates on his forehead as Joshua stumbles upon his words, "I-I, well-- It's..", and he finds this sudden urge within himself to explain it you before you misunderstand further, "Mingyu, my best friend, he wants to know about her."
"Didn't he just loose a match?", you ask him while your questioning gaze is fixated at Mingyu.
"Exactly! That's what I told him", he explains, "But he's like that only so if you could tell me.."
"She's single.", you respond to shut him up.
Joshua quietly cowers away.
"She's scary.", Mingyu laughs, "I thought she was going to bite off your head."
"Asshole.", Joshua quips, "She's single. Go shoot your shot."
Mingyu's eyes twinkles and skips away immediately.
Later, Mingyu manages to get Hyerin's number.
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Mingyu and Hyerin are dating.
"Please Y/N", Hyerin literally corners you in your own bedroom, "It's just a double date--"
Your face contorts in distaste, "And with whom? Joshua Hong. No. Never. We both can't tolerate each other."
"Oh come on darling", Hyerin tries to persuade you, "I have talked to him, he seems good. Plus I've heard he was the star player of his previous school's basketball team. A heartthrob, you can say."
"He's good to you, because you're his best friend's girlfriend.", then you declare, "Otherwise he's an asshole."
"He's cute.", Hyerin corrects you.
"You know Hyejoo has been crushing on Joshua for sometime right? Why don't you ask her?", you sort to your last resort.
"Please, I don't her around when I'm chilling or on dates.", Hyerin sighs, "You know she's hard to handle and we both get her but other people can be uncomfortable sometimes. Last time at practice she said something ridiculous to Jeonghan, ofcourse as a joke but it was really off.", she shudders at the memory, "Jeonghan's always laid back so he let it pass."
"Okay. But why do you need us? Go on dates alone, spend time with each other."
"Because I want you to know Gyu and Josh better and same for Gyu.", Hyerin says grabbing your hands and sighs when she sees confusion written over your face, "Look even though we have just started dating but I think I like him. So I want you to know my boyfriend and his friend, you know, so you it's fluid between the four of us."
You understand. You are happy that you're her confidant. Everything makes sense except Joshua.
But when Hyerin gives you those puppy eyes, who are you to deny her.
"Fine. I'll go with you."
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Mingyu gapes at Joshua in disbelief.
"What?", Joshua almost mewls and chucks a pillow at Mingyu, "Stop staring okay?"
Mingyu sits up on the bed, "So you have been talking to someone you don't know and what if that person turns out a psychopath."
"She's not a psychopath, Gyu", Joshua is immediately retaliates.
"She?", Mingyu is amused, "What if it's a he and a 50 year old weirdo?"
That sends Joshua off. After some moment of contemplation he says, "Whatever. They don't even know me and it's fine we just share our minds with each other."
"Dude you always that I'm crazy but I think it's you. You're the crazy one.", Mingyu pouts and scoots over to where Joshua is seated, "So about the double date...."
"We're not having this conversation again.", Joshua retorts.
"Why?", Mingyu now lays on Joshua's lap and looks at him, "Y/N is such a cool person Joshy. You'd love it. She's definitely better than that person you're chatting coz we know her."
Joshua rolls his eyes and places a hand over Mingyu's mouth, "We don't get along at all so no."
Mingyu bits his hand lightly and Joshua flinches in pain.
"Do me this favour Joshy, please.", Mingyu pleads, "We'll have a lot a fun I promise."
"I'm seeing her everyday Gyu, courtesy detention class. I have no will to see her more."
Mingyu's phone dinges a notification and his eyes narrow into slits as he reads it and Joshua knows it's definitely not something beneficial for him because--
"Y/N agreed to it.", Mingyu announces almost shoving his phone to Joshua's face as the later read the text from Hyerin saying the same.
He slaps away his friends hand, "Still a no."
"I thought we are best friends.", Mingyu says sadly as he gets up and takes his bag, "But seems I was wrong. Anyways, I'll get going."
Joshua knows Mingyu is pulling the best friend card yet he let's himself indulge into it once more.
"Fine.", Joshua hollers, "If I don't have a great time, I'll really cut you off Kim Mingyu."
Mingyu grins from ear to ear.
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"Y/N, we got a call from your school.", your mother says. You don't like where this conversation is going.
"They informed us about your detention.", your father adds, "Why didn't you tell us?" "It's just a detention dad which will be over by the end of this week.", you say taking a bite of your sandwich even though your appetite was gone. "Y/N", your mother places her hand on yours, "You need to be serious about your studies. Your grades gonna decide your university. Remember that you'll have to take over your father's Pharma company because it's for you. This is our legacy." You are tired of the same old conversation. "I don't want to", your voice cracks as tears prick at the corner of your eyes, "I want to study fashion technology. I want to be a designer!" "We already had this discussion Y/N.", your fathers alerts and you are getting off the chair. "Getting late.", you say slinging your bag over, "Bye." Your parents look at each other solemnly. You can't pinpoint which part of the day went fine for you till now. Because everything was going wrong. First the conversation with your parents during breakfast, second Hyerin informing you about not attending classes today at the last moment over a text, third being late in the class and hearing a earful from the teacher and lots more to account for. Now, as you got some free time before the detention class starts, you decide to sew the remaining series of sequences on the piece of cloth you are currently working on.
You are pulling the needle from the backside when it pricks your index finger.
You're immune to this, it doesn't even sting much but your eyes are teary and you curse out in mumbles.
The tears start to roll your cheeks, you sob silently hiding your face behind your palms.
"Why did you agree to this double dating thing?"
You could see Joshua towering over you but don't raise your hear.
"I could have managed Gyu but just because you agreed I couldn't do so.", Joshua says angrily, "You are so annoying you know--"
"I'm sorry", you stand up, raising your head and your gazes meet.
Joshua instantly freezes when he sees your bloodshot eyes and hears your body racking sobs.
"I know I'm annoying. I'm sorry.", you cry out, "I-I'll just do something."
"Y/N--"
"I'll cancel out on them last minute with some excuses. I promise.", you are wiping your never ending tears as you continue, "So that from next time if they propose something you can always shut them up by saying that I bailed out last time."
"Hey please stop crying.", Joshua gently holds your arms as he crouches to look at you eye to eye, "Please tell me what do I need to do so that you can calm down?"
You don't respond and Joshua renders in panic as he feels you shaking under his touch.
Before the gears in his head could start turning he pulls you into embrace.
And when you still don't stop crying he gently rocks you and hums a soothing melody. His one hand strokes your hair and the other firmly hold you to his chest.
Your cries reduce to sobs until it stops.
"It'll all work out.", he says still rocking you and your hands fist on his shirt at the back.
"But it never works out", you whisper meekly.
"It will. I promise.", his says softly and with so much sincerity that it makes you want to believe him.
You pull away and ask, "You think it will?"
Joshua smiles as he wipes your tears and cups your face. His response comes in form of a soft smile and a firm nod.
"Now sit right here", he backs you and sits you up on the chair, "I'll be back quickly. Don't leave!"
He runs off halfway and calls Hyerin to know what's your favourite food or drink or anything that you make your mood shift even a bit.
And around 20 minutes later he returns with a bag full of cheese puffs, strawberry juice cans and butterscotch flavoured ice creams.
He pants but is relieved to see that you are still there and most importantly not crying.
But your rummaging through your bag.
"What are you searching for?", Joshua asks and sits beside you.
"Band-Aid", you sigh in defeat, "Of course I don't have it today. What a shitty day to be alive."
"I have it, wait a minute.", he fishes out one strip and asks, "Did you get hurt?"
"I pricked my finger with the needle.", you say extending your hand and he looks at you in concern as he applies the ointment and then wraps the Band-Aid.
"Don't worry, I'm used to it.", you try to lessen his worry, "If you do sewing with hands, you're gonna get a lot of it."
Joshua's wide eyes meets your as he realises what you're saying is correct and you find him adorable.
"Here", he hands the bag, "I got these for you."
You tear the seal and a broad grin sets on your lips.
"How did you manage to get all these?"
"Called Hyerin and run to nearest convenience store."
Your heart swells a bit, "You really didn't have to but thanks. I really mean it."
"I hope this helps you get through the day.", Joshua says and takes the ice cream stick you're offering him.
"It definitely will.", you thank him again, "I'll repay you by cancelling the double date. I promise."
Suddenly the idea doesn't sit well with Joshua.
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You rack your brain hard to come up with an excuse so that the double date gets cancelled.
Looking at the time, you're about to pull your hair in frustration when your phone rings.
Hyerin calling ...
Panic surges within you causing you miss her call. You immediately call her back.
"Hey love, meet you at the arcade. I'm loving this dynamic between you two.", her suggestive tone confuses you, "I wanna know what's going on between you and Josh. Start getting ready, Josh will pick you up at 7 sharp. Bye."
"Wait what?", you squeak out, "Hello?? Rin?? Hello??"
What does she mean by that, you thought.
It was already 6:30 PM and you don't even have Joshua's number.
"Let's get ready Y/N.", you say to yourself, "If Joshua comes then fine, if he doesn't come the possibility of which weighs more, still fine you get the wear the dress you have made."
Your mood instantly lifts and you search through your wardrobe for that one dress which you have been meaning to wear for a while now. You had completed stitching the dress last month. It turned out really pretty, more than you had expected.
You had cried tears of pride and finished two tubes a butterscotch flavoured ice creams that night.
When you spot it, you caress the dress with gentle hands before taking it out and laying it on the bed.
It's a simple wrap dress, except for, you have recreated the whole dress using some torn out velvety clothings from your mother's old garments. You favourite part is that tie around which you reconstructed from a bodice and put the sequencing overall.
Green always looks good on. You're confident this one also would.
Putting on the dress, twirling around in pure joy and after being done with the makeup and pairing it with your favourite shoes you waited for Joshua.
Sharp at 7, your doorbell rings and you sprint down the stairs grabbing your sling bag to open the door.
"Wow", Joshua blurts out, eyes wide and mouth agape.
He's enchanted.
Your soft giggles breaks his reverie and he curses himself for being so obvious.
"You clean up nice too.", you actually word out the complement because Joshua is really damn good looking.
With his hair brushed back, you can see his exposed forehead and fine lined brows. The blue polo shirt that has been half tucked under the white chino pant is definitely enhancing him.
He's glowing under the strip light and you're sure he'd glow even more under the moonlight.
"Thanks", Joshua breathes out.
"Don't you have something to tell me?", your lips curl up as you say stepping out and close the door, "I was surprised when Rin--"
Joshua doesn't step back.
So when you turn you're words stuck in your throat as you almost bump into him.
But you don't bump into him. Rather there's hardly an inch of gap between you both as you stare at each other wordless.
You think he has kissable lips.
Joshua thinks you have beautiful pair of eyes.
You think his cologne smells nice.
He thinks no one ever did justice to any shades of green as much as you.
You think he has beautiful pair of eyes.
He thinks you have kissable lips.
So he leans down slowly and you don't back off. His breathes fan over your face and your hands find his.
He entwines his fingers through yours and you close your eyes.
He dips down further and is within the cusp of having luxury to put your lips together when the shrill ringtone cuts the atmosphere.
You open your eyes wide and Joshua yanks his hands backing off. You are frozen in place for a few seconds until Joshua's call of your name shakes you up.
He clears his throat and scratches his nape when you look at him.
"Gyu called.", he looks at everything and anywhere except your eyes, "They have reached and waiting for us. Let's go."
You grimace at the sudden change in atmosphere.
It's awkward and suffocating.
You both don't talk to each the whole time Joshua drives you to the arcade.
"Hey love, hey Josh", Hyerin greets as soon as you enter followed by Joshua.
You clinge to your best friend's arm and wave at Mingyu. He waves back with a huge grin.
"Guys", Mingyu calls out, "I checked the bowling ally and booked us the next slot. Let's go."
You have to unwillingly let go her arm when Mingyu extends his for her to hold.
But just before she goes, she whispers in your ear, "Did something happen between you two?"
Your eyes go wide for a moment but before she could catch up to it, you deny it. Her gaze lingers on your face trying to find any inconsistency but thankfully Mingyu ushers her away.
You and Joshua are left behind.
Joshua isn't looking at you at all and you ponder over the fact if you're going to have a good time it has to be with Joshua and this dynamic between you two has to change immediately.
"Do you want to go there?"
Joshua perks up and follows your gaze to the bowling alley where both of your best friends were having fun.
"Well.... actually no. Don't wanna interrupt them", he says, "I want to try basketball though."
"That's my favourite!", you are grabbing him by his hand, "It's that way."
Joshua smiles and he thinks that he could get used to your presence.
"You try first.", you say as you buy the tickets.
"Fine. Next round's on me.", he say taking his position infront of the machine.
You take your camcorder out and just out hold the device when Joshua scowls, "It's illegal to shoot without permission."
You realise that he's right and you mutter a quick sorry before switching off the device and shoving it into your bag.
When you look up again, Joshua is rolling of the sleeves of his shirt and while doing it he's looking damn hot  for some reason.
You gulp nervously and look away.
When you're courageous enough to back at him, he's brushing his hair with his hand.
Again, for some reasons he's looking damn hot.
You think you'd combust if you stay there another moment so you say, "I'll be waiting there", and fleet away.
No matter how much you try, your straying eyes lands on him and you get a whiplash from his chiseled jaw. He must have had his side profile sculptured.
You wonder if Joshua had been always this easy on eyes or it's your hormones talking all of a sudden.
Trying a way out of distraction you decide to text Anonymous.
But before you could apprehend your fingers type away a text that makes you groan upon reading it.
You:
[8:07 PM] How do you know if you like someone?
The lack of response comes from the other side makes you ponder if you had asked an invasive question.
Did you come out too cringey, you sigh in defeat and rest your phone on the table.
"Y/N!", you hear Joshua yell, "You gotta come here."
You would have waved him off if not he had that cute little pout set across his lips.
"Don't tell me you're not able to cross level 2", you laugh straight at his face.
"As if you're the highest scorer.", He retorts.
"So naive", you tsk taking your position in front of the machine.
Joshua goes to recharge the card and returns quickly to tap it on the scanner.
You swiftly pull him beside you and he looks at you startled.
You think he's startled because he's clueless.
He is startled because of the proximity between you both.
"W-What are you doing?"
"Obviously, we're both gonna play.", you say casually, "Otherwise there's no way to crack this unless you climb on this keep on keep ducking the ball in & out."
"Wait what?"
"Look as soon as the balls start rolling, keep on picking and throwing them up.", you set aside your sling bag and tie your hair up in a messy bun, " One thing try to aim when the basket slides to your side, I'll aim on mine otherwise other balls would collide with each other and fall off."
Joshua blinks.
You wait.
Joshua is still confused.
"Look, I have wanted to try this with someone for so long.", your pleading tone resonates with Joshua.
"You haven't tried it before?", he asks, "The way you gave the instructions I was pretty much sure you're a pro at it."
"I did try it with Hyerin.", you lament, "But given she's into sports, her arcade skills are zero."
Joshua snorts at this and gets ready to fulfill your wish.
"We're gonna beat this machine today.", he raises his fisted hand for a fistbump and you gladly reciprocate.
Your cheat key fails at Level 5 but you are happy.
Same for Joshua because he couldn't recollect when was the last time he had this much fun.
"Are you sure they don't get along?", Mingyu asks with a huge grin set on his lips.
"I don't know about Y/N but Joshua upped himself by delivering himself at her door today.", Hyerin smirks.
Mingyu rolls eyes, "Don't you think I didn't notice Y/N literally giving hearty eyes to Joshy."
Hyerin doesn't comment anymore, she just smiles.
That night after dropping you off at home, when he basks in the memories of the spent evening, Joshua realises he has got a text from Anonymous.
Anonymous:
[8:15 PM] How do you know if you like someone?
Joshua:
[10:45 PM] Sorry, had a busy day today.
Do you like someone?
Anonymous:
[10:47 PM] I'm not sure???
I think I like him, the same boy whom I used hate.
Joshua:
[10:48 PM] Should I be happy? What about me?
Kidding! Feelings works funny because I think I'm starting to like the girl I told you about before.
Anonymous:
[10:49 PM] Oh? Should I be happy?
We're really in same boat lol.
Hope we can sort it out.
Joshua:
[10:50 PM] Touché.
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Detention classes are going to end today.
You should be feeling ecstatic but you have a glum aura around you as you splash the paint on the wall for one last time.
"You're amazing you know."
A small smile forms on your lips but Joshua doesn't need to see that.
"I just complimented you, are you seriously gonna ignore me?", Joshua bumps his shoulder to yours but you don't budge.
"You are gonna keep doing that?", Joshua let's out a sound of annoyance, "Fine, just remember I had no other choice."
Before you could ask or ignore, you are being turned around in a moment, in the next you are being dragged you have no idea where.
Mrs. Yoo smiles as she watches you both. She just wanted you both to stop hating on but what seemingly she's a getting a lot more than she bargained for.
Hyejoo glares at the two of you and though she isn't sure if she's serious about her feelings for Joshua, a green monster of jealousy starts to invade her mind.
You are pulled inside an empty room which you never knew existed and now you're being cornered by the guy who's causing your hormones to react horrendously whenever around him.
"W-What are you doing?", you gulp nervously, looking everywhere but at him.
"Why are you ignoring me?", he says in a desperate tone and it makes you feel bad.
Because I get nervous around you, I think I like you.
You want to say it all loud and get everything off your chest but you don't.
"I-I'm just being moody", you lie partially, "I have gotten my periods."
Joshua looks relieved, "So you're not particularly being hostile towards me? Oh that's fine. I get it."
You sigh in relief.
Then, his worrying gaze is scrutinizing your face, "Are you in pain? I shouldn't have dragged you here, really sorry. Do you need me to buy to anything? Do you want to eat ice creams--"
You hush him by putting your finger on his lips, though you wish if you could put your lips on his instead.
"I'm fine Josh.", you tell him, "Since today detention classes are ending do you wanna go somewhere with me afterwards?"
Joshua agrees in a beat.
Mrs. Yoon has a teasing grin across her lips when you both stand side by side waiting for her to give you the slips which marks the end of detention.
"I'm impressed how you both went from almost plotting murder to gardening together real quick.", she says with an underlying tone, "Oh, painting too. You've learned to breathe in each other presence, that's what I wanted. You're free to go."
You both quickly mutter a thanks to her and head towards the exit.
You wait for Joshua as he goes to where his bike is parked.
And he groans when he see Hyejoo waiting for him there.
"What do you want?", he asked bluntly, as he pulls his bike and wears the helmet.
"I want to sit on that bike of yours.", she says coyly, "Can I?"
"No.", Joshua says as he prepares to flee, "As I have told you before I have no interest in you. Please stop seeking attention from me all the time."
Her gazes turns shearer as she asks, "So who do you have interest in? Y/N?"
Joshua stiffens for a moment before deciding to ignore her wholly and riding away.
"He didn't even deny it, wow", she scoffs, "Fine, let's see how this goes."
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"Such a beautiful place exists and I didn't even know about it?", Joshua laments, "How did you find this place?"
You smile looking ahead, sound of the waves calming you in an ineffable way.
"Accidentally.", you say after sometime, "But this is where you'll find me if ever you couldn't get in touch with me."
Joshua's heart tightens within his chest as he asks, "Why are you showing your safe place to me? Who else knows about this place?"
You don't respond right away and Joshua waits patiently.
"Hyerin, Hyejoo and someone I used to know, knows about this place.", you look at him with warmth in your eyes, "Now you know it too."
Joshua had never imagined that a person who got his coffee spilled, became his detention partner would also be the one who would cry in front of him because of having bad day to be cheatmates at an arcade game.
Joshua never got the slightest intuition that the person whom he hated the most would also become the person he'd be liking the most.
"I want to become a fashion designer. But my parents want me to manage our family business of pharmaceuticals.", your words, tone, aura, everything is emitting sadness, "I have tried to convince them since the day I found out about my passion but they won't let me. The discussion goes nowhere."
Joshua listen, not entirely but somewhat relating to the situation.
"Tell me about you, Josh."
Joshua finds you staring at back him.
He thinks for a while, trying to put together the words for you to make sense and then speaks, "My dad was a lawyer. And I respected him a lot, so I think because of that I found law intriguing.", he pauses and heaves a sigh, "After his death, I promised mom that I keep his profession alive through me. It was an impromptu decision I had made. I was barely 12 years old then."
You listen and empathize with him. You could take a guess where this is going and if not entirely, you can also somewhat relate to him.
"As I grew up, the realisation gnawed at me. I didn't find law intriguing anymore, I don't wanna be a lawyer anymore."
Joshua sounds so dejected that you wanna put his head on your shoulders and wrap your arms around him in an embrace.
But you only caress his back.
"I have tried to tell mom about it but I didn't yet have the courage to actually tell her yet because she's still so immersed in dad and the memories he left. She doesn't even change the old television we have which barely works coz it was one of dad's favourite possession."
He suddenly blinks almost comically, bambi eyes getting rounder and lips parted in awe.
"You're really cool you know!", he emphasises on the adjective for you to get the sincerity of it, "You already have a passion and you know what you want to do. Unlike me."
"You realize it's never too early or too late to find one's passion. We are too young for figuring out our entire life. There's time. There always a right time.", you too emphasize, "Maybe you don't know today but maybe you'll know it tomorrow or someday."
Joshua finds your words oddly comforting and true.
"You can try to make your mom understand little by little. Like how about convincing her to replacing the television or anything else that could be replaced. When and if she agrees find the right time to bring in the topic and get it to her slowly. She'll understand, after all she's your mother."
What you just say, tastes bitter in your mother maybe because you wished for your parents to understand you as well.
Joshua must be knowing how to read minds, because he says, "I would like you to use your advice to yours as well. Show your parents what you wanna do and why you wanna do it. Show them your dedication."
"I'll try.", you smile at him.
"I'll try as well." he echoes you.
When he left home today, he had a mission on his mind that was to get your number.
Because when he asked Mingyu for the same, he quoted something along the lines,
"You need to get it yourself. How long until you don't suck at getting numbers?"
Infuriating, cocky of a best friend Joshua has.
When he drops you at your doorstep, Joshua had those words on the tip of his tongue until you pull of his helmet and kiss his cheek.
Joshua.exe has stopped working.
It's too late when Joshua comes back to this realm because he hears a door slam and you're have successfully sprinted into your house.
Next time definitely, he promises to himself.
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You:
[6:30 PM] shared a playlist
Anonymous:
[6:35 PM] I just went through the songs list and I must say you're a music nerd fr.
You:
[6:37 PM] That I am. This playlist represents me so I just gave you a glimpse of what I am.
Anonymous:
[6:39 PM] FYI your playlist has many of my favourite songs as well. We're so similar.
"Are you texting that random stranger again?", Hyerin grimaces as she situates herself between your legs, trying to take a peek at your phone.
When you ignore her she asks again, "What's going on between you and Joshua?"
"Nothing.", you answer simply, knowing Hyerin won't buy a penny of it.
You shift so that Hyerin falls flat on the bed and you lay beside her.
"Rin, even though I have been talking this guy--"
"Don't have no idea whether you're talking to a guy or a girl or a bot or whoever!", Hyerin huffs, "Look I know you like talking to them, share interests and all but can you seriously think about Joshua. You like him, don't you?"
You sigh in defeat, nothing goes past your best friend, "I do like him, Rin."
"I freaking knew it! You both are so obvious!", Hyerin laughs, "And cute."
"I'm going to tell him someday maybe.", you say, "Even if he rejects me, I can console myself saying atleast I tried."
"Before you do that, why don't you meet this Anonymous.", Hyerin suggests, "I mean look, I know you have crated an attachment towards them. So meet them in person, get to know each more and do tell them that you like Joshua."
You blink at her owlishly.
"What I mean is, sort things out. First go meet Anonymous so you know they're not some weirdo and if they're not great you got another friend. Then confess to Josh about your feelings.", Hyerin expectant gaze falls on you hoping you got what she's trying to say.
"Okay!", you say and she can almost see that see a lightbulb going off in your head, "I'll meet anonymous first, then... then we'll see."
"Then you'll confess to Josh, if he doesn't do it first.", Hyerin scoffs, "Please we know the amount of time you're both spending."
"What about Hyejoo?", you ponder, "Doesn't she also like Josh?"
"Look, I'm very much surprised Joshua made it past a week okay? But I really want her to see Jisung's the one for her. That poor boy, I don't know how many heartbreak he suffers everytime my sister chooses a new crush, chooses someone who's not him."
"And tell her to spend a day without Jisung, she'll go berserk.", you continue to add points, "I wonder how long until she realises it's been him all this time."
"I know right, she's so goddamn stubborn.", Hyerin laments, "Hope she doesn't pull something stupid to get to Joshua because he doesn't even have an ounce of interest towards her."
"Good for me I guess?", you shrug and get an 'aww' on return.
You immediately pull up your phone and send a text.
You:
[7:25 PM] I was wondering if we could meet up?
Anonymous:
[7:30 PM] What about your rule of not knowing each other personally ?
You:
[7:31 PM] The one who made the rule is trying to break it, so .....
Anonymous:
[7:32 PM] Ok cool, let's meet.
You:
[7:33 PM]
Okay day after tomorrow, 5 in evening at Crimson Café. Sounds good?
Anonymous:
[7:33 PM] Fine by me.
How are we going to recognise each other lol?
You:
[7:34 PM]
I'll be wearing a purple beret hat with a bear logo on it.
Anonymous:
[7:35 PM]
I'll be wearing a green sweatshirt with Los Angeles written on it.
You:
[7:36 PM] Noted. See you on Thursday!
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Next day when you cross the threshold of your school canteen, it's not Hyerin who gets hijacked by Jeonghan.
He hijacks you.
"What does the school heartthrob want from me?", you quip nonchalantly, "And you have a treat pending so...."
Jeonghan rolled eyes, "Oh my god, fine. After classes end, let's go to that bakery shop nearby. I heard they sell the best black currant cakes."
"Deal!", you bump his shoulder, "I'll be waiting by the exit. Will drop a text."
Jeonghan gives a nod, pats your head and part ways to attend the class.
Joshua has been occupying mostly of mind nowadays and you wonder if he was just a mere crush anymore. You also realise that you could have texted him asking if he's attending school today or not but you don't have his number.
You ask him for it next time, you take a mental note.
As promised, Jeonghan takes you to the bakery and after placing your orders Jeonghan finally ask a favour from you.
"It's the final project and I have no clue how to design the cover.", he tells you, "So could you please help me with it?"
Jeonghan knows you would definitely help him.
"Han, look to be honest, I have a lot of assignments and project to deal with", you explain, "So there's a limit on my end to provide you support. It shouldn't be taking long, we need to decide specific days and anyhow get it done by that."
Jeonghan sighs in relief, "Y/N you could have literally said no but you're an angel.", he grabs your hands and expresses his gratitude, "I'll mail you all the details and you have a look. Then we can decide on the rest."
"Sounds like a plan and you know I'd never not help you if I could.", you assert, "You are a good friend."
Jeonghan would never admit but his heart swells with emotions. For him too, you have been a good friend. Not always in touch maybe, but the one he can confide to anytime.
You let out a yelp when your pulled against his chest, as Jeonghan gives you a side hug.
"Dude what's gotten into you?", you scrunch your nose looking at him with pointed eyes.
"Well definitely not someone who goes by Joshua Hong.", he teases.
You gasp, almost scurrying away from him.
"Hyerin that little snitch!", you gruff in disbelief and Jeonghan laughs.
Joshua doesn't see you in school. He searches but you're neither in the canteen, nor with Hyerin or any of the classes he thought you'd be.
"Looking for Y/N?"
He hears a familiar voice and doesn't like it at all.
Hyejoo stands in front of him, her lips curled up in a smirk, arms crossed over her chest.
"If you know then tell me or mind your own business.", he deadpans.
Hyejoo definitely knows where and with whom you are because she had overhead you two while passing by and the absolute joy she got because that would definitely be a fuel to fire.
Joshua decides to walk off but what he hears next cause him to halt.
"Be careful Josh. Y/N maybe not be all what she seems to be.", Hyejoo says.
She continues on realising she has successfully garnered his attention, "I'm only saying because I care for you."
"What are you trying to imply here?", Joshua asks.
She chuckles, a mocking tone cutting through which Joshua fails to notice, "Did she ever breakdown in front of you?"
Joshua stills. A moment later he nods.
"You'll often have to handle that, not a big deal", her lips curl down as if in worry, "But as days goes she'll be blaming every irrelevant things on you. You won't be able to tell her that things are not working out for her because she's not trying."
Joshua is rooted to ground, he only listens.
"I assume you already know about her safe place."
Joshua feels like someone had poured a bucket of ice water on him.
"Your face says you know it.", Hyejoo taunts, "It's always like this. She's difficult to handle."
"What do you mean by always?"
"It was same with Junsik, her ex.", she utters hurriedly.
Joshua doesn't know what he's gonna do with all these information he just acquired.
"Let me take you where she is now."
That's how Joshua finds himself standing outside the bakery. Through one of window walls he sees you laughing at something Jeonghan was saying.
His hands balled into fists as he watches Jeonghan pulling you into his embrace.
You look so happy that Joshua's mind lingers back to the memories shared between you two and he doubts if you were ever this happy when you were with him.
When he sees Jeonghan feeding you, his heart constricts too tightly in his chest.
He realises that he doesn't like the intimacy between you and Jeonghan.
He realises he wants to swap places with Jeonghan, that he should be the one who gets to hug, to feed you or hold your hands.
He realises that he likes you.
He likes you a lot.
"You like her, it's so obvious", Hyejoo says impassively, "But does she like you back?"
Joshua has his minded clouded with all sorts of nonsense Hyejoo fed him with that anger seeps through his veins and clutters in his heart as pain.
He blames himself for believing that you would have some sort of liking towards him and he is indignant because you acted as if you would reciprocate his feelings.
Joshua leaves with a heavy heart and he might not have noticed the tears that were pooling his eyes.
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Your eyes stray in anticipation everytime you sense someone passing by your table.
You wait for Anonymous as decided at the Crimson café with lot of expectations and only one hope for the person to be not any weirdo.
You:
[7:10 PM] I'm already in here.
Took the table nearest to the counter, the view looks good from here :)
You quickly send the text and rest the phone on the table as you take out your sketch book and start doodling.
Joshua is still heartbroken for which he really looks forward to meet Anonymous.
Today, he just wants to forget everything and have a good time.
To get you off his mind, to push back the career choices, he only wants that.
He heaves a deep breathe standing outside the café and his lips curl up as he reads the text he just received notifying that the one he's going to meet has already arrived.
Joshua pushes the door, walking in.
All hope dissipates instantly when he sees you, wearing a purple beret hat with a bear logo, sitting at one of the two tables nearest to the counter, other one being empty.
Joshua doesn't think anymore, he just sprints out of the café.
You sigh bored, finally getting your head out of your sketchbook and check the time.
You:
[7:24 PM] You didn't forget about meeting me today right??
Are you stuck somewhere?
It's 8 now, neither do you get a response of your texts, nor does Anonymous shows up.
You:
[8:03 PM] Are you still coming?
Did something happen? Are you okay?
Please just drop a text whenever you get this, I'm worried...
The clock strikes 9 and you're dragging your body out of the café.
You are worried. You are exhausted.
Not trying to read much into it, you coax yourself into believing that there must be a valid reason for Anonymous to take a raincheck on you. That you'll get a response and may be an apology later.
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Next day when you wake up, the first thing you do is check your phone.
No messages.
You huff in annoyance but don't let it ruin your mood because today you have a mission.
To get Joshua's number.
Not a big deal, you could have easily gotten it from Hyerin but you believe it's best to be a little brave and get it from the person himself.
Generally, you have often bumped into him for the past few day but today, somehow it's hard to find him. You even doubt if he's attending school today.
But that doubt dissolves when you see him in the canteen, snacking on a snicker bar and scrolling through his phone with a bored expression.
A grin sets on lips as you walk up to him and occupy the seat across him.
He lifts his gaze from his phone and his heart drops when he sees you.
"Hey", you say, "I have been searching for you."
Suddenly, there's a screech and Joshua is dragging out his chair as he stands up.
Your curious eyes try to meet his but he doesn't look at you.
"Josh--"
"I have a class now.", he says and leaves.
You are confused and you are worried.
If he's having a bad day you want to help him, as he had done for you.
If he's bothered by something, you want him to eat up your ears by ranting it all out.
If he's tired, you want to put his head on your shoulder.
"I'll let him have his space for today.", you mumble in distaste, "But I miss him. I'm so miserable."
Next day you bump into him in the hallway.
"Hey Josh", you greet, smiling wide.
Joshua is stoic and you notice it.
"I have some work at library.", he says and just as he was about to take a turn you grab his wrist.
"Did something happen?", you ask with uncertainty, anxiety creeping in you slowly.
"Can you unhand me?", Joshua quips sharply, "If you haven't noticed it, I'm feeling uncomfortable."
You immediately release his hand and take a step back "I-I'm sorry --"
"Save it.", he says, "What do you want anyway?"
Your mind runs thousand miles on the memory lane to come up with anything you could have done to upset Joshua.
But nothing comes up. Absolutely nothing.
"I just want to get your number."
There you just had to say it when Joshua is vexed at you.
A scoff leaves his lips and he glares at you, "What are you playing at? Don't you already have my number. Stop messing with me."
You think you're hearing everything wrong. You look at him as if he has grown another head and a pair of lips which are uttering absolute nonsense.
"How could you do this to me?", he asks, his gaze peering into your soul and wrenching at your gut, "I feel like you're always breathing into in my neck. And it's suffocating."
"What did I do, please tell me." , you plead in helplessness, eyes glistening with unshed tears and you all get in return is a condescending look.
"Stop pretending, oh my god", Joshua whispers in a threatening tone, "I don't want to see to you anymore.", with that he leaves.
You suck in a sharp breathe and close your eyes letting those tears fall. A sob throbs out of you and you are unbothered with the looks you're getting from those passing by.
Your mind only reels the words Joshua had spat out, the bitterness and hatred from them getting to you.
Joshua is the only good thing that has happened to you in a long time so you refuse let him go just like that.
Whatever it is, you're going to fix it.
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"Mrs. Hong?"
"Y/N?"
You chest tingles in mirth as you ask, "How have you been?"
"Been good dear.", she answers in her calm voice, "What about you?"
"Okayish, I'd say.", your voice wavers, "Just stressed with finals and career choices."
"You should do whatever you feel like doing.", she advices, patting your head.
"My parents want me to handle the family business which I don't want.", you ramble, knowing that ranting about it to everyone won't change anything.
"Then fight for it", Mrs. Hong says, "Go to hell and back, take all of it. It's always better to try than to have regrets for life."
You nod, somewhat finding new confidence to have the conversation with your parents again.
"Your son must be lucky to have you as a parent, Mrs. Hong.", you comment with sincerity, "You know there's one thing I have always wanted. For my parents to ask me what do I want."
You place all your items on the checkout counter and solemnly tell her, "Mrs. Hong, you should also ask your son what he wants. You know as we grow up, we discover new interests, our choices change. You're a sensible parent so I want you to be the cool mom and support his descisions, whatever it maybe be."
Mrs. Hong stiffens for a moment. Her mind reels back to a lot of things and she has been complacent with Joshua on this matter.
"Mrs. Hong?", your concerned voice reaches her, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."
You are suddenly pulled into her embrace and she thanks you.
"You might have unknowingly done me a huge favour.", she whispers on the top of your head.
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"He has been cranky lately", Mingyu hums as he recollects, "Mostly cooped up in his room, doesn't even open up to me."
You and Hyerin grimace at his words.
"Did he shout at you?", you ask in hopes that it's only you but it's just a phase and Joshua is mad at every one.
Mingyu pouts because he knows the answer he's gonna give you is nowhere going to make you feel better.
"No, actually we went to arcade yesterday. He blew off his steam at that poor basketball machine but we're good. Like normal, just he's a bit more serious nowadays."
You slouch down and Hyerin glares at her boyfriend.
"It's okay, love. I think you should confront him asap.", Hyerin wraps her arm around your shoulder as she throws pointed eyes at her boyfriend.
Mingyu seems to take the hint and says, "I'm there to help you, just tell me what I need to do."
"For the starters, give me his number.", you insist, almost on verge pleading, "If I can't get through him, then help me to meet him alone."
"Okay ma'am!", Mingyu immediately takes his phone and sends you Joshua's contact.
"Thanks Gyu", you say and getting up sweep a glance at the couple, "Gotta go, I need to help Han to design the cover."
"Keep us posted Y/N."
You nod in acknowledgement at Mingyu's words.
Walking down the alley, you contemplate a lot of things, life is tough, yours is toughest.
Nothing seems to work out for you.
You want a career, your parents don't resonate with you.
You like a guy, he suddenly starts to hate your entire existence.
Taking out your phone you open Mingyu's chat to save Joshua's contact.
Just as you proceed to add it to a pops up appears.
Do you want replace the contact name from Anonymous to Joshua?
Your eyes go round like saucers as you re read the sentence again and again.
You trace back and confirm that it's actually Anonymous.
Joshua Hong is actually Anonymous!
"What are you playing at? Don't you already have my number. Stop messing with me."
Joshua's words ring in your mind and everything made sense to you now. That also meant he had come to the café and left without meeting you, misunderstanding the whole situation.
You immediately call Jeonghan only to cancel on him.
Next, you're calling Mingyu and as soon as he picks up you say, "Gyu, please anyhow bring Joshua to that old park, I need to talk to him, it's urgent."
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Joshua is startled when Mingyu suddenly barges into his room and starts tugging on his sleeves.
"I need a help from you Josh", he says and Joshua could sense the urgency in his voice, "We have to be somewhere."
As an unsuspecting and good friend he was, he immediately agreed on it.
Suddenly he is dropped off outside the park with Mingyu saying, "Go inside and you'll know it", before riding away in his bike.
Joshua stands there for a moment, utterly confused but anyways walks into the park.
You wait for him, biting off almost all of your nails.
You figure out his silhouette approaching and you could also see his face morphing from confusion to distaste on seeing you.
"Is this some kind of prank?", Joshua yells out, "Very irritating."
You are prepared to hear all the harsh words and off word gazes you're gonna get.
You are also adament to dissolve the misunderstandings and confess your feelings for him today.
"I think there's a misunderstanding, you need to listen to me.", you speak stepping ahead.
Joshua doesn't respond and you take it as your cue to continue.
"I asked Mingyu for your number today.", you continue carefully, "That's when I came to know you are Anonymous."
Joshua scoffs, "You really think I'm gonna buy it? What do you take me for Y/N?"
"I'm not lying --"
"Oh so you're telling you bumping into me right after I texted you that night is pure coincidence? Pairing up for detention classes was also a mere coincidence? Don't you know it's quite weird, how I got to see you each and everywhere, often, more and more just after I hit you up with those texts.", Joshua's gaze is enough to cower you down, his words just added to his condescendness towards you.
"What are you getting at?", you ask bracing yourself for another set of insults you knew that are going to come your way.
"You clearly knew that it was me the whole time.", he spats out, "You just wanted some attention because of the petty princess you are. Oh did I mention attention seeker too?"
"You're not in your right mind Joshua.", you warn him, "Don't say anything you're going to regret later."
"I'm not gonna regret anything. The only thing I regret is meeting you. Do you always do this?", he asks rather accuses you and you shot him a look.
"Do what?"
"Make guys believe that you like them and them tangle them into a trash relationship?", he chuckles bitterly, "I almost believed that you like me until I saw you with Jeonghan. Are you gonna take him to your safe place too? Were you gonna treat us the same as you treated Junsik?"
You freeze on hearing that name.
"How do you know about Junsik?", your eyes sting and voice falters, "What do you know about him?"
"Does it matter now?", he disregards you totally, "You are really sick for playing me like that because I really liked you..."
You perk up at his words, the pain in your heart never subduing but tearing it into infinite pieces.
"But fortunately, it isn't too late.", his words are venomous, more than he could realise, "I want to see you ever again. So do me a favour and never show your face again."
Your sobs doesn't stop until you're biting your tongue to the point where the metallic taste fills your mouth.
You lift your gaze to look at him past your wet lashes, "I also liked you Joshua, like a lot. Gosh I might be in lov-", you fist your hands focusing on them to not break down, "But your wish is granted."
You only say that much before walking past him.
The door to your heart, through which Joshua was making his way is cemented now.
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"He said what?", Hyerin is raging and you are the one actually keeping her in check instead of getting comforted.
"Kim Mingyu what kind of bastard your best friend is?", she yells at her boyfriend, "Why are you even friends with him?"
"I still can't believe Joshua could say all this.", Mingyu mumbles, "I was quite sure that he liked you back and he obviously liked talking to Anonymous which turns out to be you."
"Leave it guys", you speak meekly through your sore throat, "It's all over--"
"It's not over, how dare he bring up Junsik?", Hyerin is sure she's going to commit manslaughter today, "What does he know about him?"
"I wonder", you sigh and lean against her shoulder.
"And he thinks, you were gonna double time him and Han?", she throws Joshua another punch at the gut in her head, "Who does he think he is? That bastard I'm-- I'm gonna ugh!"
Mingyu breaks into cold sweat on looking at his girlfriend, grimaces on watching you and fumes in anger when thinks about Joshua.
"Something must have happened, he ain't always like this.", Mingyu comments and is met by a death glare from Hyerin but he continues, "We need get it out of him."
"Whatever guys", you climb on your bed, laying down, "If you want me as your friend then never bring up Joshua ever again. I'm being serious right now.", you pull over the comforter and point your index towards the door, "Thanks for coming but now you both please get out."
Once the door slams shut, all the tears you've been holding stream down as you indulge in self dejection and that broken heart of yours bleeds in scarlet red. A colour so beautiful yet vicious.
A colour that Joshua gave you so brutally.
Joshua Hong was cruel to you and you pledge you're not going to give him the luxury to hurt you again, you're going to be unbothered, apathetic and indifferent to him.
Joshua Hong is a just stranger to you now.
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Joshua doesn't immediately leave from the park. He takes a seat on one of the rusty swing and cools down. And while doing so his mind lingers back on the recent episode he had with you.
Joshua is generally a calm guy, a bit cranky but mostly calm. So when his own voice echoes in his mind saying those words to you, he topples with guilt.
He knows he went overboard and he was the actual sick one for bringing up your ex into the conversation.
But words once said cannot be taken back.
Letting the emotions get consume you is never a wise choice and Joshua made that mistake today.
His heart constricts when he remembers your tear stained cheeks, hurt eyes and maimed demeanor.
"I also liked you Joshua, like a lot. Gosh I might be in lov-"
He laughs. He is humored at how sincere you sounded when you were lying.
A Jack of Fools.
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You are watching an interesting movie on your phone when someone taps you on your shoulder.
You crane your neck to see Jeonghan, seriousness ghosted over his face.
"What happened?"
He heaves a sigh and takes the sit across you.
"Before you start", you say getting up, "Let me bring something to eat."
Joshua enters the canteen and is displeased to see it extremely crowded. He searches and gladly he finds an unoccupied seat which he quickly takes.
On sweeping his gaze he finds Jeonghan occupying the table in front to his so he seats with his back faced to the later.
That's when he sees you passing by and hears a screech of chair. You place the food tray on the table as you take the seat opposite to Jeonghan's, and behind you is where Joshua is seated.
You don't notice Joshua.
"Spill.", you say, passing him a plate.
Jeonghan relents. He stays quiet for a moment before he's speaking, "It's about Seji."
You nod and wait for him to continue.
"We've been talking again.", he says and he wants to say a lot more but he cuts it down to, "My feelings are resurfacing."
"Your feelings for her were never gone.", you shrug poking the food on your plate you continue, "Look I don't get what the concept of being on & off is, so either you both get back or cut each other off. Otherwise I'm sorry but this looks very toxic to me."
"You're always so brutally honest", Jeonghan mops, "and have a clear conscience that's why I always confide in you."
"Oh, it's nice to hear that, someone just called me liar, sick and all sorts of synonyms it could go for.", You say meekly.
Joshua who has been eavesdropping, in his defence he had no choice as they sat behind him, it was all audible.
Jeonghan gasps in disbelief, "Who do I need to chain on? Tell me."
You give him a knowing smile and Jeonghan understands.
"Joshua berated you?", he ask gently, "I thought you were going to confess your feelings to him?"
Joshua freezes.
Then he hears a sob.
"Please, please don't cry. I don't know what happened but he doesn't deserve your tears.", Jeonghan rushes over to you as he hands you his handkerchief, "Gosh, I can't believe someone could hurt you so much. Promise I won't ever bring him up again, stop crying please."
You shake your head, wiping your tears, "I-I liked him a lot Han. And he said I was gonna double time with you and him."
Joshua hisses, he's ashamed.
Jeonghan sees red when he hears this, "He said what? No, I need to find him and beat the shit out of him. What a jerk, good riddance Y/N. Curse him all out now."
"Please Han", you tug on his sleeves, "He doesn't deserve any of this attention. I don't even want to hear his name anymore."
Jeonghan seethes but he decides to let it go for now. He would definitely deal with Joshua later.
"How about I take you that bakery? We can have everything you want!", he tries to cheer you up.
But you shake your head in protest, "You already bribed me so much for a mere cover design Han. I shouldn't rob you anymore."
Jeonghan rolls eyes, "Please it's not a mere cover, it requires so much effort and even though you're crammed with your tasks, you decided help me diligently."
"Fine.", you say, "You better sort things out with Seji and I'll text you when I work over on what discussed on before."
Joshua is this close to turn around, the apologies being on the tip of his tongue.
But you are leaving and Jeonghan follows you not before throwing a glare at the back of the person about whom you both just had a conversation.
Jeonghan knew about Joshua sitting exactly behind you this whole time.
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"Hey mom", Joshua greets as he sits on the tool, "You wanted to discuss something?"
Mrs. Hong is standing by the kitchen counter, your words have been ringing in her head since that day and she wants her only son to know that he doesn't need to feel burdened if at all he has been feeling so.
"I want to ask something and I'm expecting an honest answer from you."
Joshua straightens in his seat as his attentive eyes fixates on his mother.
"What do you want to do Shua?", she elaborates when she see creases on his forehead out of confusion, "As in your choice for a career?"
Joshua's eyes goes round, as this was totally unexpected to him, something he had been meaning to bring this topic but never had the courage.
It suddenly felt like a blessing as he collects his thoughts and frames the sentence in his mind before speaking out.
"Mom, I don't want to be a lawyer.", he says and waits for his mother's reaction.
Mrs. Hong falters a bit but she quickly regains her composure.
Joshua notices, it's natural and expected, so he continues, "I don't know what I want to do but it's definitely not law mom. Just for clinging onto it because it was dad's profession, I don't wanna regret it later, have depression and blame everyone for it."
Mrs. Hong walks over to her son and pulls him into her embrace, "Why didn't you tell me before?"
"I wanted to mom but I didn't have the courage to break your heart, knowing how much you treasure everything related to dad.", he whispers, voice wavering, "But won't dad be happier if I follow my passion and live in content?"
"Yes, he'd be so happy. I'm sorry for being so ignorant", Mrs. Hong sobs, "I should have been more attentive. You're allowed to do whatever you want Shua."
Joshua smiles in relief, a big weight being lifted off his chest.
"Thanks mom.", he say sincerely, "Thanks a lot."
"We both should be thanking that girl.", Mrs. Hong laughs, wiping her years and also patting her son's back.
"Who?", Joshua quips up.
"Oh you wouldn't know her." she says, "She made me realise that parents often take matters related to their children for granted and for providing them expect something in return."
"Please thank her on my behalf.", Joshua requests.
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Next day, Joshua reaches the classroom as soon as he could because it's the only class he shares with you.
He just wants to see you.
You enter the class minutes after he does. Joshua's gaze is on you, you are aware but your gazes never meet, not when you walk past him and sit in the back.
In today's class, you are gonna get to know the project topics and will be assigned partners for completing the same.
Joshua hopes he get paired with you.
You pray to get assigned with anyone but Joshua.
"You can choose your partners.", the teacher announces, "In groups of two."
You groan, definitely luck not your side because you knew no one except one and the one you knew you'd never pair up with him.
Joshua is sure that universe is giving him a chance and with his new found confidence, he walks upto the walks to your desk.
When you see Joshua walking your way, you think he's gonna pass by but instead he halts infront of you.
You are going to be unbothered, apathetic and indifferent to him.
"Hi Y/N..", he says with hesitancy.
You don't even spare him a glance.
Even though he's sweating and up on his toes, he asks, "Will you be my partner for this project?"
"No.", you say resting your face on the palms of your hands, still not looking at him, "Thanks for asking though."
"I'm sorry Y/N.", he just wants you to look at him atleast but you don't make any effort to do so, "I went overboard that day. Said many things I shouldn't have. I just--"
"You have said all the things you wanted to say because you wanted to hurt me.", you crane your neck to lips curl up in a mocking smile, "You don't have to apologise to look good to yourself specially when you don't mean it. Don't be a hypocrite and let's pretend to not know each other from now on."
You are standing up, grabbing your notebook as you continue, "Since you don't want to see my face, don't talk to me."
Joshua's words are coming to bit him back as pure venom.
You take out your phone, "Look here, I'm doing this infront of you so that you can get assured."
Joshua's curious gaze falls on the screen and his heart drops when he gets your intention.
"See I'm blocking your number.", you press on the block button and your thumb hovers over the delete button, "And now I'll delete your contact. Rest assured, you won't be bothered by me."
Joshua stays rooted to the ground until the teacher calls his name.
Fortunately, you don't get paired with Joshua.
"I don't want to see his face, let alone talk to him", Hyerin barks, literally barks, "You're calling in for your best friend's murder, I'm warning you."
Mingyu agrees that he's hypothetically plotting a murder by letting his girlfriend meet his best friend.
"Babe, when I said we need to get the root of this, we are gonna do so.", Mingyu warns Hyerin, "Now, when Joshua walks in through the door, I'll talk to him. You only speak when needed."
Hyerin huffs, "Lucky that I love you."
Mingyu grins and pecks her lips.
The door creaks open and Hyerin scoffs, "Here comes the idiot."
Joshua doesn't have a good feeling, specially seeing Hyerin who's constantly glaring at him and he thinks that's enough to drill holes into his skull.
"Hi guys", he tries to initiate a conversation, "Why did you wanna meet?"
"First, what you did Y/N was very lowly", Mingyu says, "I'm very disappointed in you."
Joshua sits quietly, hanging his head low.
"What do you know about Junsik?", Hyerin interrogates, "How do you know him?"
Joshua fiddles with his fingers and sits wordless.
"We're not here to look at your face, you better open that stupid mouth of yours like you had done that day.", Hyerin barks again, her patience wearing thin.
"Hyejoo told me about him.", Joshua says and looks up at her.
Hyerin stiffens, all the words she was about to gurgle gets stuck in her throat.
Joshua finds an opportunity and he relays everything that happened to the couple.
"You should have asked me about Jeonghan atleast.", Mingyi sighs, "And how could you bring up Junsik when you don't even know a thing about him?"
"Junsik was Y/N's first, well only boyfriend till now", Hyerin reveals, "who had dumped her over a text because he fell in love with a new chick in the school he just got transferred to. He just threw away a relationship of two years just like that."
"She has been aloof since then. Always reluctant to make friends, didn't show interest in other guys", she looks dead in his eyes, "Until you came along. But it's her bad luck, you also turned out to be a douche. And she was so excited to meet Anonymous until you intently stood her stood. I hope karma to be an actual bitch to you."
Joshua feels like he has been pushed into the trench, like what he deserves.
Hyerin feels humiliated because she had never thought that her sister could be so much of a menace.
She gets up and Mingyu looks at her alarmingly.
Placing her hand on his hand in assurance she tells, "Hyejoo needs to be taught a lesson so I need to go. I'll drop by Y/N's to apologize to her."
"Babe, don't blame yourself okay?", he says affectionately as he wraps his arms around her waist, "It's not your fault. Just go & handle the things your way."
She turns to look at Joshua, "I wonder how long you have known Hyejoo to believe all the shit she uttered that day."
The door slams and Joshua breathes out.
"I like her a lot, Gyu.", Joshua says in distress and Mingyu scoffs.
"Who, Hyejoo?", he counters, "Because that's the only plausible option I can think of."
"Right, I deserve to be mocked.", he admits, "You're so dumb Joshua Hong."
"Stop being miserable than you already are and if you are ready serious about Y/N, then make it up to her and confess your feelings.", Mingyu suddenly grins as he says, "I hope you get rejected five times before she accepts you."
Joshua could only grimace at his words. You couldn't pinpoint since when it started but you have been receiving some items with a cute note everyday. First time it was a mini bouquet that was kept in your locker with the note saying-
Like a bouquet tied with twine, I can be yours if you will be mine.
From, Your Anonymous
You didn't read much into, thinking someone must have mixed up the locker numbers. Next day, you found a miniature panda with another note saying- In a room full of basic brown bears, you are my panda.
From, Your Anonymous This time the gears in your brain turn harder when you reread the note. A lightbulb goes off and you find the literal meaning of the words at the end.
Your Anonymous means Your Anonymous in literals who is none other then Joshua Hong. That note and the teddy goes straight into the trash can. Third day, you find a strawberry juice can and a note which makes you snort.
You're the grenadine in my tequila sunrise. Without you, I'm just this strawberry juice.
From, Your Anonymous. "Now he's playing on my weakness.", you mumble eyeing the can, not having the heart to chuck it into the trash can.
Joshua watches as your stand there in dilemma with a grin set on his lips. The strawberry juice can ultimately doesn't show up in the trash can.
One day, you are climbing up the stairs reading an article on your phone when you bump into someone.
Very surprising, you find Joshua in front of you.
"Can I talk to you for a moment?", he asks and you dismiss him immediately turning to go on a seperate way when he says, "It's urgent, please."
You tail behind him as he leads to you a random empty class. You lean against the wall, Joshua stands at a distance.
"Tomorrow is my mom's birthday and I bought her a dress.", he starts explaining, "I accidentally tore a button...."
Silence fills in the air and Joshua watches you intently for any reaction. He watches your eyes go wide in absolute disbelief and next you're hitting him on his arm,   "Such an idiot", another hit, "Where's the dress? We need to fix it soon." Joshua is overjoyed but he doesn't show. "It's at home.", Joshua says, "Do you want me to bring it to school?" You roll eyes, "Have you thrown the remaining 1% of your brain in gutter?" Joshua nods, resembling a kicked puppy. An adorable kicked puppy. Your heart twists abnormally in your chest, no he's not the guy you like anymore, get a grip on yourself, he can be all cute but it doesn't effect you anymore-- "Y/N?" "Yes?" "So..."
"Oh yeah-- I don't have classes anymore so if it's okay with you then we can go now.", you offer curtly, "Since her birthday is tomorrow, we don't have time." You awkwardly stand in the middle of the hall as Joshua goes somewhere seeking for his mother. You hear their voices, not able to make anything coherent out of it as the padding sound of footsteps against the floor increases. Joshua walks in followed by his mother so when you see her you almost shriek in shock, "Mrs. Hong?" "Y/N?", Mrs. Hong, pushes her sone aside and runs to hug you, "Oh my, what a pleasant surprise!" Joshua stands as confused as ever as he watches you both gush about each other. "Shua", his mother calls, "I was talking about her, she's you were seeking for. Thank her yourself." Joshua feels all the air leaving his lungs at once. It's you, again. The same girl who he had trash talked straight on her face. The same girl who is present in his house just to help him. The same girl who he likes loves. He leads you to his room and the entire time you could sense the sudden shift in his aura. Crossing threshold of his room, hits you with a surge of Joshua. You look around, watching a large poster of LeBron James pasted on the wall adjacent to his bed. A huge stack of books about economics pilled up on his study table and a neatly made bed. "Here", Joshua lays the dress on the bed and hand you detached button, "How long will it take?" You deadpan, "Hardly 5 minutes." His face falls like tons of brick and it's so obvious that you had to stiffle a laugh. The dress is beautiful, you think but it's plain, too plain for your eyes and your hands itch but you should have no business with dress apart from stitching that button back. Joshua notices and he knows what's going on inside that mind of your. He trusts you, he wants you stay longer so he plays it down, "Don't you think the dress is simple. I bought it because that colour is beautiful and rare." You perk up at his words and Joshua swears he could melt into puddle if he'd stare at your doe eyes one more second. "I could stitch a flower towards the left flange of the dress.", you ponder over and ask, "What's her favourite flower?" "Daisies", he answers. "Oh that will be comparatively easy", you clasp your hands in excitement, "A simple satin stitch would do." Joshua looks at you with all the attentiveness in the world. His heart swells and he realises that it's been long he has stopped crushing over you. His heart yearns for you and maybe that's the reason he was hurt and raged seeing Jeonghan with you. He admits to loving you, he hopes that you'd give him another chance just to show that how much you mean to him. "Give me the dress", you are already searching designs on your phone, "It will take around 4-5 hours. Come and get it by 9." "Can I be with you?", he asks and you shot him a look. "What are you gonna do, except for bothering me?", you quip back, "Don't you hate me?" "I lov-- I won't bother you promise. Just let me be with you." His underlying tone resonates in your ears and heart does flips when you look him in the eyes. Brimming with emotions (read: love) "I don't have any other choice, do I?"
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"Can you stop staring at me?", you finally blurt out, "Also, if you could not breathe on my neck!" Joshua doesn't bother listening to you, he's just having the time of his life watching you closely, basking in your presence. You are almost done with stitching the embroidery and Joshua yet again raises his hand to your mouth urging you to eat the pastry, one of the enormous amount of items he bought for you, emphasizing it's his way of saying thanks. "I can eat it myself--" "But both of your hands are occupied." This reasoning would take you nowhere. He has been acting as a lovesick soul, touch starved body and happy fool around you. And it's certainly not helping your heart in keeping check. You have finally embroidered the daisies and it turned out prettier than you had expected. "You can work magic on fabrics you know.", Joshua sincerely complements you, "Thanks a lot Y/N." "No big deal.", you smile, "Mrs. Hong is an amazing woman, she deserves all the love." Joshua gleans but suddenly remembers the purpose of crashing in your place. "Hey, there's a basketball game at my previous school on this weekend and I'd be playing, would you like to come?", Joshua asks. You look at him with a scowl on his your face, "Why don't you ask your Hyejoo to come with you?" Joshua almost scurries but it will be a lost battle if backs down now. "Am I not being obvious?", Joshua asks all seriousness ghosting over him. "What?" "Am I not being obvious with my feelings?", Joshua asks again. "What are you insinuating?" "I want you, only you, and no one else to come to my match. You matter to me because..", he breathes in, breathes out, shuts his eyes, open them just to say-- "I love you, Y/N." He does it. Says the words he had been meaning to tell you, the words those set themselves on the tip of his tongue whenever he saw you. "Josh..." He smiles at the slip of his nickname from you and leans in to you. "I was so mad when I saw you with Jeonghan, because I was jealous.", he admits, "I wanted to be the one feeding you, wanted to be the one hugging, to be the only one to closely watch that beautiful smile of yours." You are rendered speechless. But Joshua has so much to say. "The outburst I had, it was only because I realised I have been in love with you and the possibility of you not reciprocating, was hurting." He rummages through his bag and you see him taking out a jersey. "You don't have to say anything now.", he smiles and pats your head, "Think through and", he hands you the jersey, "Let me know on the match day." You lay the jersey on your bed and see a 17 imprinted on white below the name Joshua. Joshua is by the door when he calls your name, "Whatever your decision is, I'll respect it.", and he's out of your room and house. You don't know much about basketball but you know when a player gives their jersey to someone prior to a match, what do they want and what can the indications be. You let out a scream and immediately fetch your phone to dial a number, "Hello, Rin...."
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It's matchday. Joshua is nervous. Partially because of the game, partially because of you. When Seungcheol, a good friend and teammate of his from previous basketball school team had requested him to play one last game before they officially strike out his name from the team list, Joshua agreed instantly. A farewell game, he thought. The team does warm ups and stretches before the game starts. Joshua steals glances at the courtside every now and then but fails to find you. He's afraid that you won't come at all and his heart would shatter into millions. "Hey, looking there often won't make her magically appear.", Seungcheol knows and he teases, "I never thought our best shooting guard would be playing shooting hearts too." "Oh juicy juicy", Soonyoung, another teammate, who's also the centre of their team quips in when he overhears the two, "Joshua Hong is in love!!!", he shouts a little too loudly out of enthusiasm and now the whole team knows. The warm up is over and the game starts in twenty minutes.
Joshua checks his phone for one last time to see no notifications of your name and remembers you have his number blocked and contact deleted. Dejected, he switches off the device and deposits it to the collector, heading to change into his jersey. The game is already into the second quarter and Joshua's team is leading by only four points. Soonyoung slips causing his dribble to be cut and the opponent's point guard steals the ball and scores a two pointer. Soon the whistle blows and both the teams head to their respective locker rooms. As soon as Joshua enters the room, he's slammed against one of the locker by Seungcheol. He groans in pains at the sudden impact. "Listen dude, I get you're vagued but please don't let the team down. Coach is already contemplating on substituting you.", Seungcheol is frustrated, but he cares, "I want the best shooting guard within the entire school to score points. Stop being diverted and focus on the game." "Sorry", Joshua gruffs out, "I will--" "What the hell? Unhand him right now Mr.!" The whole locker room pivot their attention on the source of the voice. Joshua thinks he's hallucinating when he sees you standing in front of them, hands crossed over and brows cocked. Wearing his jersey and having his jersey number, 17 painted on your left cheek. Seungcheol looks at you, then he looks at Joshua to get the confirmation he needs. "It's her guys.", he announces with a huge grin as his hands free Joshua. Suddenly the locker room fills with  whistles, hoots and hollers. "Hi! Thanks for coming. I'm Soonyoung by the way.", a guy with questionably dyed hair greets you. "Hi, I'm Y/N...", you greet him back and gulp nervously when you realise all pair of eyes are on you. "We don't need to be here anymore it seems.", Mingyu tells Hyerin and the later nods, the two leaving to occupy their seats at the courtside. "Thanks in advance for saving the match.", Seungcheol comes to you and says, "And I'm Seungcheol, the captain." Then he looks at Joshua, "You have 10 minutes", and announces, "Clear out the room guys!" Everyone follows, all of them greeting you with huge grins making their way out. Now the two of you are left and the atmosphere turns heavy. You walk upto Joshua and grab his arms to shake him out of the trance. "Hi", you giggle. "You came...", Joshua whispers. You are about to say something but suddenly you feel yourself loose a footing as you are slammed against the locker, hands pinned over it. Joshua hovers over you, his body pressing yours and if you entire focus isn't on his lips, you could have heard both of your hearts beating rapidly. "Can't believe you agreed to be all mine, I don't deserve you ", he whispers leaning closer. "Just kiss me & seal the deal.", you bite your lips, gaze flicking to his eyes. "Gladly.", he smiles and closes the gap. Your lips are just touching when the whistle blows. You laugh, giving him a slight push, "Times up." Joshua tries to get back on you immediately but you manage to run out his grip and the room yelling, "Earn your kiss, babe!" And Joshua takes it personally. You never knew basketball matches could be this exciting and you regret not attending them previously. Oh the man, Joshua Hong is, your eyes are glued to him as he runs around the court with that sweat glistening glow on him. The game is now into it's last quarter and you squeal as Joshua scores a two pointer extending the lead. Everytime he scores, his teammates cheered looking at you and you're sure that the whole arena knows that Number 17 of home team is either trying to woo you or you both are already a thing. It's a few seconds until the game ends and opponents foul Joshua. All the players stand behind the three points line and the free line extension. You are brimming in anticipation as you see Joshua taking position at the base of the line. The home team needs their shooting guard to score the three points from the long shot. The long field goal which would seal the win. The referee blows the whistle, a cue for Joshua to shoot his shot.
Joshua takes a deep breathe, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. The arena is pin drop silent all eyes on the man on the line. You breathe hitches when Joshua raises his hands holding the ball and looks at you. "This one's for you!", he yells and releases the ball looking forward. You swear the time slows down as the ball revolves on the ring, you admit dramatically, before it falls into the basket. The arena blasts with cheers and Joshua is already hurled over on his teammates' shoulder as they hail his name. You see him. He sees you. Then you're running down the stairs and jumping over the partition to reach him. The team hollers when they see you in the court. Putting down Joshua, they push you to him, circling the two of you as they chant in delight, "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" You grin looking at him which turns into a gasp when he suddenly grabs your hips and lifts you up. "Am I worthy of getting a kiss now?", he asks, smiling cheekily. Your response comes in form of you dipping down and placing your lips on his. You feel him smile against your lips as they slot into each other perfectly and he holds you to him tighter. "Get a room!" You both hear a yell, knowing it came from Mingyu. You are the one who breaks the kiss but Joshua pecks you one more before putting you down. The teases never simmer down for the rest of the evening.
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"Thanks for all backing me up the whole time I was talking to them, my parents even started looking for universities for fashion technology courses.", you sigh in content, resting your chin on your palm. "You did a lot more for me. Talking to my mom, making me signing up for the varsity training program and whatnot.", Joshua makes sure you know how grateful he'll always be. "Oh by the way I changed your contact back to Anonymous.", you inform him. "You can't do this your boyfriend!" Joshua props beside you, with pouty lips and doe eyes. "I can. I already did.", you deadpan. "Why should my contact be saved as Anonymous?", he tries to snatch your phone, "Change it to babe, love, sweetheart anything. "You glare at your dramatic boyfriend, "Because that's where it started. You are my Anonymous." Joshua grins, finding it somehow cute and romantic at stance. "Anonymously Mine.", you say. "Anonymously Yours", he echoes.
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1K notes · View notes
savannahsdeath · 7 months
Note
hiii I love your work! could you pretty please do some toxic ellie? :)
TOXIC!ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER
mdni please<3
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summary: a miserable attempt to leave your toxic girlfriend
warnings: preferably 18+, just lots of toxic shit, manipulating, reader is crying
writers note: probably the only toxic post you'll see on my profile. honestly, i dont even know why i wrote this and im posting it just for the anon. i dont support any toxic behavior, cuz even a simple fanfic can bring some harm. dont read it if youre sensitive to such topics and if you decide to read it, dont romanticize it and dont blame me for any bad feelings you felt while reading - youre responsible for your own media consumption, im not forcing anyone to read. as i said, i just post it for the anon and also because i dont want it to just sit in my drafts (i dont have the guts to delete it). ugh its kinda long but i just want to make sure everyones safe, please take caređŸ©·
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you were sitting in your bed with your head buried between your knees for half an hour now, ignoring the buzzing of your phone. you caught her with another girl. you should cry and feel miserable, and all you could think of was; 'finally! finally a reason to leave her!!'. all you could feel was happiness.
but leaving her wasn't easy. you tried a few times before.
'maybe it'll be different this time', you hoped. but the way you kept receiving notifications from her said otherwise. 'maybe if i ignore her for a few more minutes, she'll let me go.'
you tried to put your phone down, but your hands won't let you. your thumbs kept reaching for the screen in a desperate, involuntary action. you were powerless to stop it. you knew you shouldn't respond. you know you should walk away, but you couldn't. every time she messaged you, your heart beated faster and your breathing quickened. you knew this isn't the best thing for you, but a part of you was still clinging to hope.
'enough, stop it.' you ordered to yourself.
you picked up your phone, deciding to call your friend. she'll make you remember all the cruel things ellie did and leaving her will be easier.
your hands were shaking and you were truly scared of what's going to happen. you hestitated for too long before clicking on your friend's profile and.. lost your chance.
ellie was calling you. she wasn't giving up and she was probably pissed off by now.
you sighed and whispered; 'sorry' to your future self, before answering the call.
"why aren't you answering to my texts, huh?" she asked in an accusatory tone, as if you were the one who did something wrong.
your breath hitched as you heard her voice. there's no going back now. "i'm sorry, ellie, it's over." you mumbled and shook your head in disbelief. 'i'm sorry'?? for what? where was your confidence?
she took it from you, just like she's going to take anything she wants.
"i'll pick you up in a few minutes." she announced and you felt tears starting to well up in your eyes.
great. so she's on her way here.
you took a deep breath to stop your voice from quivering. "i'm not going anywhere- not with you."
ellie laughed, thinking it's all a joke. "you're funny, honey. you know you come crawling back to me everytime." she replies calmly. "so get ready. i'm coming to pick you up, and then we can talk about this. like grown-ups."
ellie was good at controlling you. she'll say she's coming to pick you up, and you'll be waiting on your porch when she arrives. she had a firm grip on you and she knew it.
not this time.
"like grown-ups?" you nervously laughed. "you cheated on me. again."
ellie didn't get angry. she wasn't even surprised.
"don't overreact, babe." she replied in an irritated tone. "it's not like it was anything serious. it's just some random girl. i'm still with you. you should know that."
you were stunned by her cavalier attitude. she really thought it's no big deal.
"leave me alone." if there was even a little bit of toughness in your voice before, it all left. now, you were just simply begging her to stop. "please."
ellie's confidence and her nonchalant attitude was getting to you. you felt angry, but at the same time, you were starting to doubt yourself.
you wanted to hang up, but you couldn't. you just waited for her reaction, praying this'll be the end. but you knew everything depended on what ellie wants, and for her, only her own good mattered.
ellie chuckled. "oh, sweetheart. you think you can just break up with me over the phone? we're not even having a fight here. come on, be reasonable. let's just talk this through. i'll be there soon."
you proudly raised your chin, even though she couldn't see that. the tears ruined your confident facade anyway. "i locked the door."
she stayed silent for a moment, not expecting that from you. but she always had a plan b, and you realised that as soon as you heard her laugh. "i'll check that myself."
you heard her car arrive outside your house, and an instant wave of regret washed over you.
she knocked on the front door. "i'm here, love. open up." her voice was gentle, with an apologetic tone.
you knew it was all a ploy to get you to open the door. you knew this was just another manipulative tactic she was using, but it was starting to work.
"come on, be a smart girl." she continued in a sweet voice. "or we'll do this the hard way."
you cursed yourself for how weak you felt, even though it wasn't your fault.
"ellie, please..." you begged, with as much authority as you could muster, but your pleads still sounded weak.
"what's that, babe? are you crying?" she responded in a mocking tone.
you felt powerless to resist her. your stomach twisted in knots, but your fingers reached for the knob. your other hand quickly wiped away your tears, though there were some visible smudges left. you stared at the doorknob in your hand, fighting every instinct in your body to open it and let her in. but you knew she'll get her way, sooner or later. you just wanted to get this over with.
with a shaking hand, you opened the door. you saw that ellie was holding a set of keys - there was definitely one to your house too. she could just unlock the door, but she wanted to check if you'll listen to her. you didn't even want to think about what would happen if you didn't give up.
she walked inside like she owned the place, and she didn't even look at you. she knew she's got you wrapped around her finger.
"good girl." she said, with the same mocking tone.
ellie's eyes darted around the room, and she walked over to take a closer look at a framed photo of the two of you on your shelf. she smirked, letting out a sarcastic 'hmph, so cute'.
you stood there, defeated, as she walked past you and paced around your home. she made herself comfortable, as if she belongs there. you tried to keep a brave face, but she could see right through it.
she sat down and turned to you. "tell me, why we ended up here?" she asked, her voice was cold and unforgiving, but it also sounded curious. "why are you trying to leave me? aren't you happy?"
you felt your lips tremble, as you parted them to speak. "you know damn well what you did."
she stood up and walked up to you, standing right in your face and leaning a little to match your eye level. "fucked another girl? huh? is that it?" she stroked your cheek with the back of her fingers, mocking your pout.
you flinched away from her touch, but she grabbed your face with both hands and pulled you towards her.
"i just had some fun." she said calmly. "besides, you can't blame me for wanting something different. just trying to make up for what you lack." she caressed your face, tracing your lips. it was almost gentle, as if she wasn't even trying to hurt you. but her words cut deep. "now, stop acting like a baby." she let go of your face. "i'm trying to have a mature conversation with you."
the obedient, scared side of you wiped your tears away and straightened up without thinking, but everytime you closed your eyes - everytime you blinked - another wave of salty liquid streamed down your cheeks.
you sniffled and tried to keep it together, but your body was shaking and feeling dizzy. still, you stood your ground.
"please, ellie... i can't do this anymore." you begged in a shaky voice.
"sh, shhh..." ellie wrapped her hands around you, rubbing your hair in a soothing motion. "don't say dumb things. i already know you can't live without me. you know that too." she grabbed you by the shoulders and forced you to look at her for a second. "don't you?"
her embrace felt somehow comforting, not matching the poisoning effect of her words. you clinged onto her, hoping to get as much from this rare moment as possible.
but you knew, deep down, that this is just another manipulation tactic. you shouldn't fall for her games.
"there, there." she whispered to you. she held you even tighter, as if she was trying to absorb every ounce of energy you had left.
she pulled back and looked you straight in the eyes. "do you see what happens when you try to leave me, babe?"
"i am leaving you." you said with as much conviction as you could muster. "i'm serious this time."
but ellie just smiled, treating your words like a joke. "that's funny, honey. this is just another one of your little tantrums. you're just upset because you haven't gotten enough attention these days. but you don't want to lose me." she ran her hands along your cheeks and caressed your hair. "you'll come back to me. you'll come crawling back, just like always. because you can't live without me."
you instantly buried your face in her chest, as she started stroking your back.
she sighed. "are you finished?"
you felt ashamed. you failed, once again. you let her win.
you lifted your head up so you could see her expression. her smile was even more mocking and cruel now that you've given in to her.
"that's more like it, babe." she said with that same condescending tone. she pulled you in for another hug, as if nothing happened. "now, let's forget all about today, okay?" she whispered in your ear. "my pretty girl."
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girlboypersonthingy · 1 month
Note
Hey, can i have Lucifer x gn! reader that suffers from migraines? It can just be headcanons, really.
I dont have any specifics for it.
Nonniieeeeee, I’m so sorry! I’m not sure when you sent this but I’m finally getting to it. Thanks for being so patient, to you and everyone who’s requested recently. Also, I hope you’re feeling okay, anon. ❀‍đŸ©č And as always, enjoy~
Notes: gn!reader, just fluff and Luci being such a sweetheart ALSO I GOT TWO LUCI POSTS DONE IN ONE DAY FUCK YEAH!!!
Lucifer x reader- S/O suffers from migraines
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“OH DARLING! MY ANGEL BABY! Come, lay down. I’ll get you an ice pack. Or would you prefer a heating pad? Tell me what you need, my love. Daddy’s here for you~”
Good luck. This guy is gonna cling to you and baby you all day until you feel better okay? Just prepare yourself
Will literally, actually, for real do anything you ask. He just feels so bad for you and hates seeing you like this so go ahead, tell him what you need.
Meds? You got it! He’s flying over to get them so fast and returning to your side before you can even blink
You cold? Need a blanket? Come here, let Luci wrap you up in his plethora of thick plush wings 💋
Wanna take a nap? He’s draping blankets over you, fluffing the pillow before tucking it under your throbbing head, makes sure the room is dark and quiet.
Will definitely hum softly to you as you cuddle and rest together.
Lots of soft kisses to your head and face- comes in waves like
he’ll kiss the top of your head once and then a few minutes later, he’s peppering your face in repetitively sweet kisses.
Will also full-on make out with you if that’ll distract you from the pain *wink wink*
Also, a lot of gentle touches, lightly tickling your skin, letting his fingertips wander over any bits of exposed skin he sees.
Might even strip off some of your clothes but strictly for the purpose of exposing more of your skin for him to softly stroke or rub comforting circles on.
Plays with your hair- starts by gently running his fingers through it and eventually ends up giving you a scalp massage that has you falling asleep in his hands.
When/if you get tired of him being clingy or you just want some alone time, please tell him! He’d rather you bruise his ego a bit by telling him you need space than you be even more miserable with him around. If you need a break from him, just say so and he’ll leave you be but he’s gonna come check on you every 15 minutes and ask you like 50 times if you’re mad at him lol
Will happily run off to the kitchen to make you soup or tea, something warm and comforting
One time he accidentally walked in on you taking a nap and when you woke up, at first he was like “Hi, honey. You okay?” And when you explain in a groggy voice that you have a killer migraine and you’re trying to sleep it off, he lowkey gets mad at himself for disturbing you and begs for your forgiveness. No matter your reply, he still asks “Want some company?” Before crawling into bed with you.
Also, one time found you crying on the couch due to the immense pain in your head, the throbbing and aching becoming too much.
Luci dramatically swooped you up in his arms and took you to lay down in bed. Cooed in your ear while wiping your tears away and holding you close to him.
He shed a tear along with you bc oh no his poor baby is in so much pain, it physically hurts his heart
Basically, just the sweetest little sweet pea in the entire Hellaverse, okay? No one in hell could take care of you better than the big boss himself â€ïžâ€đŸ”„
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plutonianeris · 1 year
Text
a message from 13 year old you â€§â‚ŠËšâœ©ćœĄ [letter] 💓🍬
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this is a general reading. take what resonates and leave what doesn't. scroll through the images & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. ⛓ *ïœ„áżŸ ᔎ⌇ âș◩ if you feel guided to: tip jar💘 ✧.*
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Pile one â€§â‚ŠËšâœ©ćœĄ
"what did I tell you? I always knew it would work out in the end. I was always knew the pain wasn't going to last forever. It hurt to be treated that way by the people closest to me, especially the women in my life. there was always so much confusion growing up. people would say pretty things but there body language would show something else. I felt caged in my connections. But I always had some faith. I always had a feeling that the universe was watching out for me... for us. that it was sending us signs. that eventually I would be able to enjoy life to the fullest without feeling guilty for it. without feeling like I had to compare myself to the versions of me that they wanted me to be. I hope you know now that those versions don't exist. that we weren't born to be dolls for other people to dress up and control and shove words and opinions in their mouth and to gargle and spit back up. I doubted my intellgience so much.. underestimated my creativity. but looking at you now.. looking at us... I feel so proud. dont forget about me please! I always believed in you. even on those days where you couldnt stand to look in the mirror. I was on your side this whole time, its just that sometimes you werent listening. But now looking at you, you are everything I ever wanted to be. Im so glad I didnt give up. You deserve it all. the world. your dreams. im rooting for you. heres to more blessings and abundance."
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Pile two â€§â‚ŠËšâœ©ćœĄ
"remember the way everyone would make fun of us for the weird things we did? Our odd expressions and the questions we asked and how we laughed out loud and our desire to see the world. how it always labeled as silly. I know it had made us dull our self expression for a little while. How we forced ourselves to shrink down, to fake laugh to the mean comments, or "oh this? not a big deal" or "its not that good.." so many of those... just to blend in better with our friends and family at the time. to make them like us. to see if that would make them stop criticizing so damn much. I hope we no longer are letting comments like that slide. I hope we dress like the way we always wanted to in our head but were to afraid to wear out. I hope we didn't let the world extinguish our playful nature. life felt like heartbreak after another. what do you know about love? youre just a kid. they deformed the way we saw it for a long time. but not anymore. It makes me emotional.. the way you never let go my hand. and how you always carried me along with you in your heart. Of course, now you call me your inner child. Or I guess inner teen. Ha, inner tween. Thank you for always being my friend. I see now that you are always what I was meant to be. Out of all the stars in the sky, we shine the brightest, you and me."
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Pile three â€§â‚ŠËšâœ©ćœĄ
"you are so beautiful... wow we really are so different now. But I still see hints of me in you. in your smirk and your mischievous laugh and in your questioning glances and sharp stare when someone gets a little bit too close to our personal space. I admire the way your presence can make someone nervously glance away. I use to feel so powerless.. so many things I did to try to gain some control, even if it meant hurting myself and pushing away the people I love. I love how vulnerable you are. I really did see it as a weakness but looking at you now, it makes me realize how brave you are. of putting yourself out there despite the uncertainty. of taking that chance even if could end up badly. even if you could end up with a broken heart it seems like you no longer find sastification in staying in the darkness. I understand, its.. well, lonely... being alone. Do you think you could take me with you? That part of you... that is still afraid. do you think you could tell me? tell me that I am not broken or incomplete that there is nothing wrong with me. that I am not the worst thing that has ever happened to me or will happen to me. Reassure me? Tell me that some things we have to do even when we are afraid. that its terrifying and nerve wracking and makes our palms sweat. but then once we do it, it's glorious, it's liberating, it's everything we have ever dreamed of and more. I see it now. Take me with you. Do you see me? I see you. The way you look at the world and want to devour it. I see you now, with a crown atop your head. how you wear it so gracefully..."
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Pile four â€§â‚ŠËšâœ©ćœĄ
"So many times.... I was so close to giving up. to listening to that little voice in my head that kept telling me over and over again that there was no point. that the feeling and the ache in my chest would last forever. that it was always going to be me versus the world. me versus me. that everything around me would always be dull and gray and that I would always be blue. I doubted my self-worth so much. It was practically non-existent. I still do in some ways now when I pop up and invalidate the way you feel, shrugging my shoulders wondering if maybe we are actually deserving of this happiness... of this success. it feels foreign. like its not really mine.. well, ours. We're not in a really good situation right now and my parents are trying to hide things from me that im just too big now to pretend not to notice. they don't make me feel that protected anymore. and that hurts me a lot. whose gonna take care of me now? Im so glad youre here now. Im so glad we got to grow up and that we survived. and im so glad that now that we survive we can actually live. Thank you for reminding that we can let go now. that theres no room for a pity party anymore. thank you for letting me know that your'e not going to leave me behind. thank you for keeping my memory alive. thank you for looking back at me with kind and loving eyes. but most of all, thank you for fighting for me. I know I can easily lie and say "everything is fine" but thank you for showing me that it eventually it is. thank you proving to me that eventually I will say its fine. its okay. its great even. and that I, that we, actually mean it."
© plutonianeris
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theoccultz · 9 months
Text
Which star quality of your's makes you admirable?
Happy Cancer season to all
General reading ,take what resonates leave what doesn't
Short reading /intuitive reading
Pics not mine credits to their rightful owners, i do not own any pictures
Note-i'm just here to deliver what you need to know not what you want to hear so please respect my space+tarot is not to be replaced with legal or medical advice its upto you how you take decisions and use it for your highest goods .
Decision is always yours i'm not responsible for it ,see ya at your pile!!
Take a deep breath and choose your pile (:
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Pile 1 . Pile2.
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Pile3. Pile4
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Pile 1 : (Neptune)
Leader quality
Ok you guys big dick energy-
I'm getting this vibe from , the type of individuals who dont give others false hopes,you pull them out of their shells in the best way possible,you guys are not that leader who just do whatever they feel like you guys are the one's who's listening to others ideas , letting people express themselves and building the stable foundation within them through your actions and your words .
Others feel ...you are like a coconut ,tough exterior on the outside soft in the inside its quite wholesome if you ask me ,i'm getting you guys could be very innovative with your ideas & your solutions and how you use them in your daily life ,you guys teach them to be yourself not what others told them to be .
I dont see you guys being hopeless or dissapointed for the longest time you guys rise above your challanges and thats admirable,its like you guys have so much little good things about you but you're still humble.
>Random signs:
August ,lemona ,strike ,sugar ,smile i feel like you guys have this beautiful smile ,C ,9 ,2 , big fans of football, recently purchased a purse or suit ,likes vintage things ,9h &3 h placements , intimidating,initimacy others might find you intimidating in the initial meetingz , zero tolerance,public , school, B country? Cancer sun ,virgo moon ,leo rising ,neynar ,west hollywood, short hairs ,shiny eyes ,gold ? , J,h,S,D,A, gemini placements.
> "People" song because i feel like you are the one who recognise others presence so they dont feel invisible like "people"
Pile 2 : (Heart)
Ok my power rangers
you guys are present when others need you the most , you're having a panic attack? I'm here , you're afraid to walk alone? I'm coming ...you guys are THAT people its like randomly you guys apoear in others life and make it meaningfully ,i feel like you guys attract a lot of broken people , others admire you for your generosity, you give them strength by just being there ,i feel like you guys are gonna meet someone *Random* but i feel like this person could be taurus or aquarius they are coming in with a offer which will help you expand your inner circle.
You guys are the type of person who stand up for other people if someone is making snarky comments you are the first one to interrupt them and make them realise how they are choosing to behave is wrong,you guys are my power speakers , people feel a deep connection with you its like someone finally understands them ,your energy is very comfortable to be around,you have a big heart is what others feel about you .
people might remember you as someone who has helped them in their lowest ,when they just needed one push to achieve their goals ,you guys provide them with guidance and thats what is admirable nor everyone is ready to invest their time or check up on people ,you dont overreacting and you understand their situation and where they are coming from.
>Random signs:
Leo placements,9h , cancer 2nd house ,6th virgo ,m , sticker ,april ,sweets?, Ferry ,glue ,tan ? ,Veron vasu? ,F ,9,5,8,4 significant dates ,watched Rapunzel recently, sold out tickets , education,aries 5h ,pluto 12h ,3h , recently broke up ,likes braids ,wears baggy black clothes ,red? Significant here ,quick to react/respond.
>Kitsch because i feel you guys shine bright but don't give yourself enough credits ,So Kitsch is here to hype you up:
Pile 3: (teddy )
I love your liberal thinking,you guys are the type of individuals who understand other people,community ,things on a deeper level you are not quick to draw judgements by listening to one side of the story ,you guys might be silent observer's?
Others feel comfortable around you ,they can be themselves on the other hand you guys realise the importance of respect and accepting people,i wont be surprise if you guys are that friend who's always including everyone, listening to each person ,etc.
Your words hold weight they just dont come from nowhere or you're not talking in the air ,i'm sensingthe star quality here where others are naturally drawn to your empathic nature in hopes of finding a feeling of home , others feel like you are a gift like a good thing after a long period of destruction.
Other signs:
Z , Champaign, Artist ,leo on the ascendant,had a rebirth ,isa writer? Cats ? Lips others might gossip abt you , Engineer crew , corazon , sandeigo , M actor? Spider , 489 ,515 ,606 ,virgo in the 3rd , Neptune influence, libra ? , Justin , summer, lgbtq , dancer , taurus2nd , saturn11th house ,demonology ,fire dominant.
>Calm down because you guys touch people's soul which your energy ,which is unforgettable because others remember your presence lifetime :
Ik its a sexual song but in this song sel is singing about being intoxicated by her lovers energy thats why i included.
Pile 4: (Fishy)
Backbone of society
This might be my fav pile i feel like you guys make things happen,you could be very good at manifesting? You guys are probably connected to nature in some way i feel like people are naturally drawn to your aura and your personality ,what you present or put out there ? You could be content creators,others feel a sense of calmness with you its like they can relax they feel light talkin'with you ,i feel like people wonder abt you a lot they see you have been through some tough challanges but you still have proven everyone wrong by your hardwork , its like a quality of inner strength
people find you very friendly and soft like a person they'd wanna have a drink with,they remember your words for the longest time ,others appreciate your presence they feel like you are extremely keen on details a good worker who can get them ahead ,you might even encounter possesive individuals .i feel like you dont go by the flow at all you are just comfortable being w/yourself.
Honestly this might be my famous pile people love how groundound and relient you are its like you remind them of their sweet childhood memories,they find you very vibrant and the way you talk is uplifting in some kind of way ? ...i feel like people click with you because of your similiar interests however i get the feeling you guys might be introverted or shy its like you are just so damn noticable, people want to talk to you or get to know you better ,they see your potential .
They feel like you guys are transformational and it makes others shook to the core i feel like you guys have this brilliant ideas that you keep hidden . People admire your ability to inspire believe it or not (: others notice random things about you ? ,They feel like you are in deceptive relationships and that you need better judgements about others
Random signs:
Eagle ,posts ,cruel ,place to be ,sandwitched drama ? , Finding you , carnival,jet pilot , blackberry ,taurus rising moon ? entertertainer ,cant trust you , scorpio 10 or 7th house , genx , movie marathon ,red bike , weekly news , lover by taylor swift ,818 ,655 asteroid, Givenchy, grunge aesthetic, silver jewels ? ,Essay .
As it was cause people reminse about you or how you made them feel :
Thanks for reading!!!
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c1tr1sfl0w3rs · 6 months
Text
'My Pretty Wife'
Hey guys! I know it's been a while I've been very busy with school stuff so I haven't had time to write but I had inspiration by a dream :) didnt edit or spell check
18+ MDNI NSFW DARK (DO NOT READ IF YOU DONT LIKE DARK CONTENT!!)
You loved being a housewife, in your pretty sundresses and aprons cooking, baking, cleaning doing your wifely duties that william expected you to do. it got lonely without him though, he was the only person you saw and without him it was just you, alone, you hate being alone. so everyday when your husband came home to you, you're kissing him and wrapped up in his big arms where you belong.
He loved the fact that you needed him, it stroked his ego and warmed his twisted heart. seeing you all pretty in the dresses he picked and bought for you, so desperate for a crumb of his affection, bombarding him with your love. "hi honey did you miss me baby?" your response is muffled into his chest but he hears every word "I always miss you daddy, I'm so lonely without you"
He breaks out into a smirk, he grabs your chin making you look into his handsome face, "I missed you more bunny" he leans into you and kisses you holding both sides of your face, making you breathless, dominating you with his mouth. he can put you into a daze with no effort, everytime he does it makes you drip onto your thighs because william won't let you wear panties under your dresses.
William was so proud how far you've come, how good he's trained you. his precious bunny, from a crying mess in his basement to his perfect pretty wife. breaking your passionate kiss seeing you as putty in his hand, he knew you were ready for the next part of his plan.
Looking into his eyes not a thought in your head. eyes you were scared of not long ago but that was now a fuzzy far away memory. you loved your husband and you would do anything to please just how he liked it.
"Bunny I wanna do something special tonight but I need to know you're ready for this, ready for me." he said moving his hands from your face to your waist. "I'm always ready for you daddy. I belong to you." your responses never fail to give him a smile as he smiles at you again, so big it's almost creepy since it was him though you found it exciting. he only smiled like that when he was gonna make you come so many times that what little you have left of your brain is gone.
"That's what I love to hear honey, I know you get lonely when I'm gone. how about daddy gives his sweet bunny a baby. do you want that sweetheart?" your heart thumping out of your chest, goosebumps erupt over your skin. a baby? you've never thought about kids but you would never be alone again and it would be your and williams baby. head racing a million miles a minute, he wanted a baby with you. he picked you as his wife and now he wants a baby, a family with you. your heart swelled with happiness. you're just as twisted as he is
After a long pause of silence you finally spoke up. "please give me your baby, please I need you daddy." the second those words left your mouth william was kissing you intensely, consuming you and turning you to mush. "I knew you were gonna be a good bunny and take my babies when I first saw you, daddy had to have you baby and I'm so glad I do. my best girl, mine who do you belong to honey?" his words combined with the fact he had now picked you up and was carrying you back to your shared bedroom made you a mess you wondered if he could feel your wetness leaking though his pants with the way your legs wrapped around him. "I belong to you daddy, only you." he places you down on the bed crawling in between your spread legs. sucking on your neck, thumbing your hard nipples through your thin dress. you whimper out a pathetic noise and he snickers then whispers in your ear "beg me to touch you slut, prove to daddy that you need me."
Your hands reach up to grab at his wrists "Ill do anything please touch me, I love it when you touch me" he moves a hand from your chest to your thighs under your skirt, tracing the letters of his name right next to where you need him to touch you. "please don't tease me please touch me."
"My needy bunny" william finally drags a finger through your slit. "baby you're making a mess" as his other hand wraps around your neck you whine pathetically.
he slips two fingers in and thrusts them in and out hitting that perfect spot every time. the louder he makes you moan and cry his name the harder it makes his dick.
"Daddys ruined you for anyone else two seconds and you're a dumb baby humping my hand." he starts rubbing your clit with his thumb and you can feel your orgasm wash over you almost painful with how good he makes you feel. he talks you through it words condescending, fingers pumping. William doesn't stop until you're crying begging him to give you a second. "I thought you could take it honey, you talk a big game for someone crying over two of my fingers. Now lick them clean"
Your mouth takes in his sticky digits, tongue lapping at them. hallowing your cheeks and sucking like you would on him with your teary eyes.
"Damn princess you make me so hard it hurts, lay back now I'm gonna fuck you so good the only thing you'll know is the word daddy." you're quick to do as he says pulling up the skirt of your dress, spreading your legs open. he unbuckles his belt and pulls out his heavy cock. So pretty long thick and leaking all for you.
He pushes into you, legs thrown over his shoulders and starts a rhythm that has you gripping the sheets.
"Oh my- oh daddy please" he moans, William loves having you like this wrapped around him. Vulnerable and the little broken pieces of your soul in his hands.
You'll never feel more pleasure then you feel right now. The power he feels from it is almost better than your sweet little cunt.
Almost, nothing could feel better than you. Soft gummy slick hole all for him. The way you flutter around him when you're about to fall apart like youre doing now. Addicting he could never get enough of you.
"I can feel that you're close honey, come on daddys dick" you come instantly, crying out as he fucks you through it. "Good girl so fucking good for daddy" He fucks you like an animal, chasing his high and overstimulating you. He finishes inside you , pressed flush against him. You feel him soften and think you are gonna sleep like this plugged by him to make sure he gets what he wants but his voice startles you out of your sleepy daze
"Silly bunny were not done yet, you're gonna suck me clean and then I'm gonna fill you with another load just to make sure you give me a baby"
AHHH I HOPE U LIKED IT!! IVE BEEN HAVING BAD BRAIN ROT SINCE I SAW THE MOVIE! Anyways sunny out đŸ§šâ€â™€ïž
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shegatsby · 1 year
Note
Hi! I dont really now how requests work so I’m so sorry for any mistakes!! I was wondering if u could do a Hannibal x fem(or gn) reader where she gets kidnapped and he finds out and saves her(but she’s injured). Heavy angst to pure fluff!!
PS: I couldn’t find if ur requests r closed or open so if they are closed rn I’m so sorry!!!đŸŒ·đŸŒ·đŸŒ·đŸŒ·
A/N; Hi! Thank you for this request i hope you'll like it. Sorry for any typos. Enjoy! Let me know what you think :)
Warnings; Kidnapped reader, injuries etc.
(gif isn't mine)
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When she woke up from her nightmare her head was hurting her like a bitch.. only her nightmare was real. She was trapped in a basement, the last thing she remembered was that someone broke into her house and hit hear head, she was cooking dinner when the attacker came, her plan was to have Hannibal over for dinner, to thank him for helping her etc. She wanted to impress him so bad.. but now she was in a dark basement and her hands and feet were tied. She had to take deep breaths to calm herself in order to make logical desicions. The door of the basement was opened and soon her attacker hit the light, it was yellow and hurt her eyes, ''Rise and shine sweetheart.'' a man's voice was heard, ''Why am I here?'' she asked trying her best to not freak put, the man had a mask and he was wearing an expensive suit, he came close to her, holding a knife, obviously trying to scare her, ''You're just a pawn in my game little dove. It's your boyfriend I want.''
''Boyfriend? I don't have one, sorry.'' she rolled her eyes, what was he talking about?!
''Aww you haven't realized? Doctor Lecter is quite smitten by you. Even a blind person could see that.''
Well, she wasn't sure but she had been feeling a strange pull towards him, recently they've been seeing each other, bumping into each other, it was as if Hannibal was just standing where ever she goes... or was it not a coincidence?
When Doctor Hannibal Lecter walked into her apartment the door was wide open, only sound he could hear was the stove cooking something, he silently walked in, didn't close the door just in case if he had to run. Turns out, there was no one except the broken plates, he turned off the stove with his gloved hands and picked up the small piece of paper on the kitchen table.
''Come find us Doctor Lecter...''
This must be about the latest case Hannibal has been helping the FBI with, a murderer was loose, killing young women and dropping them in the forest, his heart skipped an awful beat when he thought of the possibility that his Y/N is being killed... if he alarmed the FBI Y/N most likely would be dead in a couple hours so he had to be alone on this case.
He quickly drove to the place where he had suspicions of, there was an abandoned house close to one of the victim's body, of course the FBI searched but couldn't find anything but Hannibal had to try and find her.
Meanwhile Y/N was on the ground, her right side hurt, ''If you let me go I won't tell anyone... please..'' she had to give..
The tall man with the mask laughed, punched her lower stomach, she coughed up blood. ''Shut up before I cut your face.''
She didn't dare to say anything else.
After a while the masked man went upstairs and she heard some noises, like two people fighting and then a gun shot... she almost jumped from the ground and started to pray to any god that's out there. Her back was turned to the door this time so she couldn't see anyone, but familiar footsteps approached to her.
She looked up to see Hannibal with few bruises on her beautiful face, he left a relieved sigh, ''I was so worried Y/N...'' he knelt to free her hands and feet, they felt numb. Hannibal started to rub her hands quickly, ''Hannibal,'' he wasn't hearing her, ''Hannibal,'' she stopped her, looked with her dove eyes, ''I'm fine.''
''No,'' he lifted her chin to take a good look at her face, ''I should've tortured that man thing before killing her. How dare he?!'' he was actually talking to himself than talking to her but she didn't mind, she was happy that he came to rescue her... for once in her life she had someone who would choose her.
Hannibal lifted her and carried her outside, ''You'll be living with me from now on. Understood?'' he asked with a dominant tone, ''Yes Doctor.'' she said sarcastically and it made them both laugh.
She had a new home and someone to spend her life with.
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mondaymelon · 9 months
Text
— đ˜€đ—Œ 𝘁đ—Čđ—čđ—č đ—șđ—Č đ˜†đ—Œđ˜‚ đ—čđ—Œđ˜ƒđ—Č đ—șđ—Č! ♡
໒꒱ || :feat~ xiao, kazuha, heizou, wanderer x gn!reader:
‷ a handful of my faves since it’s my birthday!! ♡ (july 27th pspspps send me bday wishes i promise i dont bite)
໒꒱ || áŽ›áŽ€ÉąÊŸÉȘꜱ᎛ (open!) : @manager-of-the-pudding-bank, @iamdedinside, @ilyuu, @achlysis, @swivy123, @solxima, @poweredbyghostadventures, @haliyamori
‷ how they confess their love to you.♡
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Is it really love that XIAO’s feeing? He can’t be sure, especially when he can’t even identify the complicated emotions that are making his heart flutter.
However, there’s no time to sit here pondering and examining, not when his heart longs for you at the very mention of your name, or how he just can’t seem to get the thought of you out of his head. He has to find a way to express what he’s experiencing, and soon, before the three words he dreads to speak escapes his lips against his will.
“I love you.”
You’d think it’d be such an easy task to complete, yet the adeptus grows uneasy at the mere thought of it. Perhaps denying him is the worst possible solution, but what should happen if you grow wary of him? Would you stray from his occasional touch, and fail to meet his eye? Xiao can’t risk finding out, yet by the day his quickened heartbeat seems to be growing all the louder.
“Ah, Xiao.” A faint smile crosses your face as you glimpse the familiar male at his usual spot, standing alone by the balcony railing, his arms crossed over his toned chest. “You wanted to speak to me?”
“Yes,” he speaks slowly, wanting to prolong this moment - to see your warm smile just a fraction longer. “There is something
 I must tell you.”
You cock your head, letting out a little laugh upon seeing his troubled expression. “There’s no need to be nervous, go ahead!”
Would there be a need to if you knew what he was to ask of you?
He shakes his head lightly as to clear his meddling thoughts, his hair ruffled from the breeze. “I
I don’t know how to put this, but I-“ His breath catches in his throat, and he forces a swallow. “You’re all I think about, all I dream about. I’d do anything and everything for you. I love you, so please
 let me call you mine. I just, I
” Xiao can’t even begin to explain what he’s feeling right now, or give a valid explanation for his actions. His gaze doesn’t miss the shocked expression that flits across your face, his own eyes hesitant to meet yours. But they do, upon hearing the melodic sound of your voice uttering his name.
“Xiao, I
 archons, do you know how happy you’ve just made me?” Your words are breathy as you take in a shallow inhale.
He blinks once, and suddenly, you’re in his arms, pressing against him like you never want to let him go.
Warm.
In the pale moonlight, the smile that graces his lips is slight, but catches your attention all the same.
“Perhaps I was made to love you.” ♡
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Yes, he’s heard tales of this adoration before, and however unfamiliar, KAZUHA as to convey these feelings before he’s unable to contain them a second longer.
Perhaps that was why he had unconsciously invited you out for a quiet stroll around Guyun Stone Forest, where the Crux was currently anchored. It was an innocent request, but the male did have some ulterior motives in mind - perhaps you’d understand if you read one of the many poems he’s written while thinking about you
 lips pressed together in thought, a quill in his dominant hand as the other sat beneath his chin, the dim candlelight illuminating the focused expression on his face, his cheeks just slightly flushed with red

Ah, but there’s no chance in Celestia that he’d ever show you his works of you. Those words are for him to read, just like what he’ll say to you tonight is for only you to witness.
Kazuha takes you by the hand, his touch warm in the cool night air. His bandaged fingers intertwine with yours, and while you don’t make a move to retract, his grip on you tightens all the same.
“Kazuha? Why’re
” While your companion has always been rather open to displaying his physical touch, he had never been this daring before, to take your hand and not even uttering a word about the manner. Something about his air was different this evening, but it was difficult to put a finger on it, especially with the distracting smile he sent your way that seemed to make your mind go blank.
“Hm? Is there something wrong?” He can’t possibly ask a question with that charming face of his and expect to receive a proper answer. Instead, you just sheepishly tilt your head to where the two of you’s hands meet. At that, he lets out a low chuckle, the gleam in his eyes proving his amusement. He doesn’t know what has given him this amount of confidence, how he’s become bold enough to pull you closer
 perhaps it was the sake Beidou offered to him earlier? That’s the only possible explanation.
Gently, like the warm breeze, he lifts your hand, swiftly getting down on a knee as he brushes his velvet lips against your skin.
“Have I made my infatuation towards you apparent yet? I love you.”
The moment seems to pause time, everything, all of it, but you can sense how your lips move despite how you’re still frozen, “I love you too, Kazuha.”
Ah, the way his name rolls of your tongue so naturally sends his heart racing.
“It’s always, always been you.” ♡
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As much as he’ll try to deny it, WANDERER, who doesn’t even have a heart to ponder these sensations, knows that what you’re doing to him is something he doesn’t wish to admit.
It’s unfair, really, how easily you’re able to sway his resolve. Every part of you is simply infuriating, from the way you say his name, to the way you gaze at him, it makes his face warm, and seemingly nothing he does is able to prevent that. And it’s strange, how he can still experience these
 affections, even with his missing core. If it makes any sense, you bring a sort of humanity to him.
It was a philosophy he had crafted for himself - that there were certain aspects of what made one human, requirements that the puppet had been unable to fulfill. That is, until you appeared, because you made him feel something he didn’t want to confess, and bearing
 love
 made him like you.
At the same time, it scares him. Love is a foreign concept, if anything, and he’s constantly afraid that he’ll make a mistake that’ll cause you to leave him. He can’t let that happen - he can’t even imagine his life without your warmth now. Ah, but if he told you how he really felt, would that keep you by his side? He’s paranoid, yet desperate for your affection, and a confession seems to be his only solution.
A letter bearing your name arrives at your doorstep, the only evidence of the sender being a small sparrow perched upon the paper, chirping insistently until you had taken the envelope.
Meet me at our usual spot at dusk.
Those seven words are all that’s written on the blue-rimmed parchment, with no signature to identify the individual, yet you let out an amused laugh. There’s only one companion with this amount of audacity, and you can already picture his scowl as he wrote these words.
“Hello?” You tentatively call out his name into the evening air, glancing around yet seeing no sign of him. There’s a great gust of wind, and there he appears, donning his signature ridiculously large hat, the dangling charms on it swaying with the breeze.
“There you are.” Crossing your arms over your chest, you smile. “For a second, I thought you were going to ditch me for the fun of it.” Truthfully, you wouldn’t put it past him.
He ignores the comment. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”
You’re slightly startled by his suddenly serious tone, but nod along. “Alright
?”
“I like you.”
“
Sorry?” How strange, it seems like today your ears have decided to play tricks on you?
A light scowl makes its way upon his face as he visibly grits his teeth. “Augh, fuck it- I said, I love you, idiot.”
There’s no mistaking the flush that’s descended upon his expression, dusting the tips of his ears and his cheeks. “Uh?” You sound stupid, but that’s the only sound you’re able to utter as you stare at the male in utter shock.
“I’m not repeating myself three times.”
You shake your head, frantic as you can feel your heart rate increasing. “No- I heard you the first time it’s just that- I
” it’s hard to explain what you’re feeling right now, so you don’t, instead wrapping your arms around and pulling the two of you closer.
He seems to melt in your hold.
“I can’t even begin to fathom my life without you, so please, stay by my side.” ♡
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(a/n) ive grown old. ive
 ripened
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pascals-doll · 3 months
Text
kill kill 2
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joel miller x reader
đŸ«§ part 2 | âœ©Â°ïœĄâ‹†âžœ 🎧 PART 1 | PART 3
đŸ«§ based off kill kill by lana del rey, written loosly off the lyrics
đŸ«§ description: angst, heated arguing, all of this is dramatized tbh, outbreak! joel, reader having a meltdown, no mentions of y/n, reader is in distress, joel tries his best to calm you down, soft joel, suggestive not really, mentions of joel dying (not word for word but just something happening to him)
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Tell me about Ray and his girl
Do I know Ray has gone to meet you?
Love you, I do
Stay here, I won't
The stars fade from your eyes
đŸ«§
Joel stood there speechless to say the least. you didnt mean the way it sounded but also perfectly explained how you felt “all i do is wait even if i go outside to tend the garden, practice my range, visit tommys or the stables, or even fucking leaving this house at all! no matter what i do, i am waiting. my mind goes in circles knowing all the things you face out there. you wouldnt even begin to understand the feeling my heart feels everytime you walk out that goddamn door- heartbreak is not even the fucking word.” you sob out, youre speech of pure pent up emotions.
you hadn’t spoken much words in that past months, if anything you spent more time writing them than saying them. this was, to say the least the most youve said in months. youre sobs didnt stop even after. Joel stood there for only a moment before immediately taking you into his embrace, his bulked up completely engulfing your vulnerable one.
“oh
princess, shh” Joel shushes into your ear, you squirm wanting to pull away in frustation as a river of tears fall down your puffy cheeks. Joel didnt budge until you began to grunt in his embrace, not giving up the struggle to get out of his arms “please doll-dont fight me” Joel says softly, struggling slightly because of the slight push of your hands “let go of me! Ive done everything i can! im so alone-im so alone! its like youre dead. we all might aswell be
” you get quieter on your last two sentences, becoming timid but still youre mind in a frenzy.
“nothing is going to happen to me.” Joel states, he meant it. although you loved him dearly, you knew he wasnt immune to infected or a human bullet-proof vest. no matter how much skill.
“you and i know better than to say that.” you state coldly, his big deep eyes that you swore you saw stars in them each time fall. he knew you were right “lemme get the shower runnin’ f’us doll? wha’da ya say?” he suggests softly, a soft smile tugging his lips while wiping the tears from your pink puffy cheeks. you just nod returning the soft smile.
he helped you up the stairs into your bathroom. you just hopped up ontop of your sink counter, opening your medicine cabinet to get your med-kit while Joel got the hot shower running for both of you.
it was winter, the last time you had seen him it was fall.
you couldn’t help all the random thoughts that overfilled your mind “did ya’ hear me darlin?” Joel calls out to you, settling you out of your head into reality “hm?” you hummed softly, confused. Joel just threw you a soft grin while walking closer to you “our bath is ready” he says, his hands resting on your thighs. you giggle slightly, playing with the buttoms of his button-up “im sorry doll. my intentions are never to hurt you. that is the last thing i want to do. there isnt enough medicine supply at Tommy’s, you knew were responsible for to go out for supply.” Joel says softly, slowly pulling off your furry cardigan from your shoulders. you roll your eyes, your attitude inches away from coming back “Tommy has plenty of men.” your tone came out a bit harsh “those men have families m’doll” he explains, caressing your cheek.
you couldnt fight there, you werent dumb enough to argue with family. you werent family whatsoever but you were somebody.
“i know, but last time i checked because of me you have a place to come home too! and yes, you have your own place at Tommys. yet, theres a reason you come here. i deserve more.” you explain and there goes your eyes, welling up with tears. you refused to look at Joel in the eyes.
Joel couldnt say anything as he didnt think about it like that, yes he had his own house yet nothing made it ‘home’. you were right “yes doll, m’such a fucked up old man
i aint even realize that without you, all this i considered home. it would seize to exist.”
from the first word to his last, his fingers slowly undressed you with each sentence building up and leaving his mouth. youre loose long sleeve with sly buttons already popped off and open. his hands rested on your legging covered thighs.
you shuddered under his touch, feeling already soft under his sharp gaze. he meant every word he said “let me make it up to you, princess” he says, his fingers finding the hemming of your soft leggings.
you leaned up at him, looking up at him wirh such loving teary eyes. you were inches away from kissing him, your hands beginning to unbutton his dark long sleeve.
“only if you stay”
đŸ«§
I'm in love with a dying man
I'm in love with a dying man
I'm in love, lying in the sand
I'm in love with a dying man
I have done everything I can
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