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#(not my followers i trust u guys but i act as if every post i make will get popular)
mars-ipan · 1 year
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honestly i don’t really think any mental illnesses have been like “destigmatized”- not fully at least. i think the stigma has just changed from demonization to “that’s not a real problem get over it god”
#obviously demonization is more Actively Harmful#but to say things like depression and anxiety have been destigmatized is. incorrect i feel#yes we are not treated like we’re evil. which is for sure an improvement#nobody deserves to be treated like they’re evil#but our illnesses are now being dismissed. ‘oh everyone has that’ not like me#‘you’re just being lazy’ i wish that were true#like. ok hold on let me use an example bc i’m worried abt reading comprehension on this website#(not my followers i trust u guys but i act as if every post i make will get popular)#my brother is autistic. i have GAD.#my brother was diagnosed when he was 2. he’s faced a lot of bullying from both kids and adults and it sucks and he didn’t deserve it#because of all that bullying (especially as a kid) he’s rejecting his autism and focusing really hard on being as ‘normal’ as possible#i was diagnosed last year at 17. i’ve been having these issues my whole life (my mom and i both saw it) but my issues were dismissed#by all the other adults around me (save for family) because i wasn’t visibly struggling and i was doing well in school#it made me doubt my convictions for a long time. what if i’m wrong?#as such i didn’t seek a diagnosis for a long time until my anxiety had gotten to a point where i knew i couldn’t keep ignoring it#now that i have that diagnosis i’m able to wield it as a weapon. my struggles aren’t made up#they’re real. and they always have been. and i can’t just ‘calm down’ like you can. and that needs to be respected#so while i think one is more actively harmful (bullying and harassment lead to self-rejection and loathing)#the other is also harmful- just passively (constantly being dismissed leads to self-doubt and not asking for help)#also why are people angry about the idea of a mental illness being destigmatized?#one group freeing itself from oppression isn’t gonna immediately forget about the groups who helped them get there#if i’m one day able to get perfect accomodations for my anxiety and nobody looks at me like i’m dramatic when i talk about it#i’m not gonna suddenly stop advocating for mental health issues to be normalized#if anything i’ll argue HARDER. you learned to understand me now learn to understand my siblings#learn to understand those with bpd. with psychosis. the sociopaths. the narcissists. the systems#i’m not gonna act like i have it worse than people who are heavily stigmatized. i’m not gonna get attacked for stuttering at mcdonalds#but that doesn’t mean i have /no/ problems and it doesn’t mean i think i’m better than anyone else#i don’t get why people fight each other about this. it’s a good thing so long as we remember where we came from
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hugshughes · 3 months
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Summer Child C. Loveland
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Colston Loveland x fem!Minter!reader
synopsis - When it's announced that Coach Minter is leaving Michigan, it heavily affects his eldest daughter's life. Especially since her boyfriend is a returning tight end for the Wolverines.
wc - 5k (CONFUSED NOISE????)
contains - UNEDITED SORRY! angsty :(, cursing, kissing, cuddling, crying, shouting, lying. people are mean to reader about it. mentions of a car accident! NO DETAILS!!! it's just a flashback!!! comfort (colston is the boyfriend of the year) heavy family issues, feelings of betrayal. it's kind of giving a found family moment? OHHHH COLSTON BEING HOT AS FUCK STICKING UP FOR READERRR, mentions of hickies? can we pretend that it was announced in like a month or so? cause in this universe CURRENTLY (January 28th) Colston like JUST asked reader to be his girlfriend. so maybe this was announced in late March? WORK WITH ME THANKS.
an - well shit writing this was kind of sad. THE TIMES TABLES DURING A PANIC ATTACK IS LIKE ACTUALLY ME. i had one at a party (so fun of me yes) in October my boyfriend sat with me and asked me times tables to calm me down. IT WORKS FOR ME EVERY TIME OKAY? ALSO do u guys realize that whenever Minter!reader calls Colston "Lovey" it's because 1. Loveland is his last name, and then 2. he's her love. IT MOSTLY STARTED BECAUSE OF HIS LAST NAME THEN MORPHED INTO HIM BEING THE LOVE OF HER LIFE. THATS WHY ITS CAPITALIZED WHEN OTHER TERMS OF ENDEARMENT ARENT!
-
you see all the flowers in the weeds.
Your phone rang loudly on your nightstand. Who was calling you so early? It was only 6:10 in the morning as you made your way from your bathroom, quickly grabbing your phone. Colston. What was your boyfriend doing calling you at this time? You slid to answer the phone, a large smile on your face.
"Hi Lovey, what are you doing calling me this early?"
You heard a sigh exit your boyfriend's mouth, your smile leaving you. Something was wrong.
"You don't know, do you?"
"What? What are talking about, Colston?"
"Look at Instagram."
You rolled your eyes, putting the call on speaker before sliding it away, opening Instagram. The screen reloaded before displaying an update post saying your dad was done with his time in Michigan. What?
you're scared of the dark when you sleep.
"No. He would've told me. No way, how do you know?"
"We just got off of a team call with him."
Your heart dropped even further than it had before. Not only was your father leaving, he hadn't even bothered to tell you. Your stomach was forming a pit, you didn't know what to think or do. You realized Colston might be upset with you, jumping to protect yourself.
"You know I didn't know about this, right? I can't believe he didn't tell me. I just- I don't even know what to do right now."
You felt tears in your eyes, why didn't he just tell you? You inhaled shakily. What the fuck? Your dad had touched on the subject of him possibly leaving Michigan to follow Jim, but didn't ever make a firm decision with it, not whenever you were around. Your whole family didn't tell you. You couldn't believe your dad, but even more so your mom, because you thought the two of you were supposed to be best friends. Obviously not.
you cover up your arms with your sleeves, even in hundred degree heat.
"Hey, yeah it's alright. I know baby, I trust you, okay? Are you okay?"
"I don't- I just, why didn't he tell me? He was acting like he wanted to stay. I mean, I don't care that he's leaving, why did he lie about it? He had to have made his decision weeks ago. What the fuck?"
You ran your fingers through your ponytail, you felt your usual front of nonchalance breaking. You swallowed hard, desperately trying to wipe the tears before they could fall down your face.
"Woah, baby, hey. Breathe, pretty. I'll be there in a second. 'M leaving right now. Just sit down and breathe, baby."
You nodded, sucking in a tight breath, mumbling out an agreement. You felt like you were having a panic attack, but it was different than normal. Usually your thoughts went a mile a minute when you had one, but it was like your mind was blank, like everything shut down.
You hung up the phone, two minutes ago you were perfectly oblivious brushing your hair. And now you were sitting on the edge of your bed with shaky hands and tear lined eyes.
You sat on your bed and stared at the wall, doing times tables in your head to try to distract yourself. You'd gotten up to the 17s by the time you heard your front door open, then fast footsteps to your room. Colston's heart broke when he saw you sitting there, teary eyed and breathing sharply. He quickly came to you, kneeling between your spread legs bringing his hands to your face.
"Hey, gorgeous."
You giggled, knowing you probably looked a mess. Your hair was in a now messy low ponytail with pieces falling and you'd only woken up a half hour ago. You melted into his hold before shakily responding.
"Hi, Colst."
"You breathin' alright, baby?"
You felt your breaths slowing and steadying, nodding at your boyfriend and trying to smile.
When you fully calmed down, you laid back on your bed with Colston while he held you. He pulled the hair tie out of your hair to run his fingers through it.
your father was awfully mean.
You couldn't even fully comprehend the situation. How could your dad not tell you? It made you feel like you were in high school again. During your freshman year, your sister had just been born, and your brother was barely two. Your parents were so focused on them that your relationship with them was severely damaged and strained. They just assumed their fifteen year old would be able to handle herself while they tried to wrangle two babies. They missed a lot that year, and it hurt. It had made you feel like you weren't apart of your own family, you felt too old and too different.
That relationship continued for the next two years, though it had ups and downs. It took until you were a senior in high school for your parents to realize they'd been neglecting you. One night after a football game at your high school you'd gotten into a car accident with your friends. No one was seriously or fatally injured, but you'd fractured your wrist. You sat alone in the emergency room with no way of going home because your parents wouldn't answer the phone. You were still seventeen so they couldn't let you go before a parent or guardian came for you.
You sat being pitifully comforted by nurses for over two hours before your dad called you back.
"Hello? What's up?"
You felt tears pricking in your eyes, the dull ache in your wrist adding to the whirlwind of emotions spiraling through you.
"I'm in the ER. I've been here since 9. Some car t-boned us going through the big intersection after the game. We're all fine, but my wrist is broken."
You let out a shaky breath, you hadn't spoken to your dad too much in the past week. It was football season so he was gone a lot, and there were also three children five and under running around your house all the time. You sighed as you looked down at the dark green cast on your forearm, hoping you could somehow wish yourself out of existence.
your favorite color is green.
"Oh shit, what? Sorry baby, I've been at the stadium all night. Did you call mom?"
"Only twenty times."
"She's probably been dealing with the littles. But what's going on? Are you alright?"
"I mean yeah, it hurts but whatever. I can't leave until one of you gets here. You have to sign some papers, I don't know."
Jesse Minter didn't know what to do. He felt like the worst dad.
"Well um, I'm leaving the stadium now. I'll call mom, if she answers I'll tell her to head there, since she'd be there faster than I can. I love you, sweetheart. Okay? I'm sorry, baby."
"It's whatever, dad. Love you too."
You hung up, sitting back in the uncomfortable waiting room chair, eyeing the brace on your wrist. You told the nurse someone would be there soon, and she nodded with a sad smile. Your dad showed up almost forty minutes later, giving awkward smiles as the ER staff gave him dirty looks. You felt so embarrassed. Your parents don't care enough to pick up the phone.
That night was rough, though it was technically the next morning when you got home a bit after midnight. Your dad informed your mom of what happened while you sat grimly on the couch, your legs pressed to your chest.
Your mom had a rough night with the littles, and hadn't had any time to check her phone before she fell asleep. You had felt like a stranger when they sat across from you on the ottoman. They apologized over and over, that night had come as a realization for the two of them. They'd realized that you were still growing up, that just because you were so much older than your siblings didn't mean they should feel good leaving you by yourself. You sat still as your mom hugged you for a while. You'd completely forgotten the comfort it was to be held by your mommy, it made you feel little again. You cried a lot, though the people pleaser inside of you still tried to tell your parents you were fine, what they did was fine. It wasn't. And you weren't.
it reminds you of the summer you turned three, running through sprinklers on your street.
Since then you'd been closer than ever before with your parents, especially since your dad started coaching at Michigan the same year you started. But this situation, it made you feel like all the progress had been pulled out from under you. It felt like you were still sitting in that waiting room.
You fell asleep in Colston's arms as his warm hands ran up and down your back. He didn't worry knowing today, Monday, both of you had no classes or anything else. Your mom called you while you slept, so Colston took the liberty to answer it.
"Hey, this is Colston."
"Oh, hi hun. Is she alright? I know it's not right but Jess just didn't know how to tell her."
Colston looked down at you, brushing hair from your eyes before replyig to your mom.
"She was not very good earlier. She had a panicky thing about it. But she fell asleep a while ago."
Panicky thing. That's what you'd always called them. Your moms heart ached but melted at the way Colston was taking care of you.
"She's not as upset about you guys leaving as she is about not knowing."
Your mom sighed, she knew her little girl. Jesse had begged her to let him tell their eldest daughter, but he couldn't get the courage. Sometimes even forty year old fathers are frightened by their nineteen year old daughters reactions.
Colston heard faint talking in the background of the call. 'Is that her?', and 'No it's Colston. Yes he's taking care of her. Yes she's upset, Jess.' Colston couldn't help but be upset with your parents, they knew this would hurt you, and they still let it happen.
Colston said a few more things to your mom, as politely as he could before ending the call, snuggling back into you and falling asleep.
You woke up groggily, with a headache. You immediately noticed the sleeping tight end beneath you, warming your heart, even if for just a moment. You grabbed your phone, checking the time. It was just past noon, you'd been sleeping for a while. You saw texts from your mom and dad, groaning internally. All you wanted to do was power off your phone, throw it in a drawer, and go back to sleep with your boyfriend. But, you knew you had to talk to your parents. You shifted out of Colston's gentle hold, silently leaving the room until you heard his voice behind you.
"Baby? Where are y'going?"
and you laugh, and you dance in the wind.
You turned to see him. He looked so warm and comfy, the sight beckoning you back to your bed. You fought off the temptation, sticking to your mission.
"I have to talk to my parents, Lovey."
He nodded, shifting around to get comfortable again without you.
"I love you, gorgeous. I'll be right here if you need me. Believe it or not, I feel prepared to be rude to your dad in your honor."
You faux gasped, a light laugh leaving your mouth. Although, it was rather adorable. You knew how much your dad usually intimidated Colston. Him willing to get on his bad side for you was insanely sweet.
"I'll be back soon."
Colston gave you one last wink before you left the room, settling on the couch as you started looking through the messages you'd recieved.
and you sway, and you hug, and you kiss.
Apologies, requests to talk, more apologies. You sighed, rolling your eyes. You called your dad, and there were barely two rings before he answered.
"Hey, sweetheart."
"Hi."
You felt a pit in your stomach over the silence that began looming. You felt the trust in your father that had finally regrown over the last two years being taken from you.
"I'm sorry."
"Well I'd hope so."
You were starting to feel angry, the longer you sat there in silence, the more you felt your sadness being buried by malice.
"Why didn't you tell me? That's completely fucked! You were talking about it like you had no interest in leaving. I don't even care, leave all you want. But don't lie to me! I thought we were all finished not telling each other stuff, I thought you guys were gonna start thinking about how I felt. Having to find out from an Instagram post is a low ass blow. How long have you known you were leaving? Is the house for sale? When are you guys moving to Los Angeles?"
Holy shit. You'd never snapped at your dad like that. Jesse Minter was confounded, he had finally pushed you to your limit, and the aftershock was brutal.
"Baby, please. I couldn't tell you. We feel horrible leaving you here."
"So, what? Were you gonna leave a note on the door for the next time I come over for dinner? 'To our daughter, sorry, we left, we live in Los Angeles now. Was nice knowing you!'"
"No! No, we were gonna tell you soon but then I found out yesterday I had to tell the guys this morning. You were supposed to know before everyone else."
"That's not true. You've known since the championship, haven't you? Obviously the coaching staff knew! I can't believe you and mom. How long have the kids known? How long has it been a 'little secret we're keeping from sissy'?"
You waited for answers, any answers. Answers that your father stuttered out, guilt lacing every word.
"Yes. Me and Jim talked about it a couple days after the championship. I've known that if the opportunity came up I'd go for a while. I'm sorry, baby. I know it's bad. There's no excuse I could make to make it alright. I just want you to know that I'm sorry, and I love you. I wish I had talked to you about it, seriously. I just truly didn't know how to tell you, it's gonna be really hard for me to leave you here. You're my girl, my baby. But I know that you have so many people here that love and take care of you."
Your anger was slowly dissipating, the overall sadness coming back to you. You'd be without your family within an hour of you for the first time in your life. That was so scary.
but there's darkness behind those eyes.
You weren't truly angry with your family, you were afraid to be without them. If you knew you would've told him to go and live out his dreams. You were just scared to drift from them.
After talking to your dad a little longer, then to your mom for a while, you hung up the phone.
You felt tears prick in your eyes as you pulled your knees to your chest, wrapping your arms around them. You took a few deep breaths, trying to figure out how you were gonna do this without them. You knew deep down everything would be okay, but that didn't stop the voices in your head from making you scared.
You heard light footsteps before seeing Colston peek his head around the archway. His eyes immediately softened seeing your position.
"Hey, coach. What's up, baby? You feel any better?"
You shrugged as he came to sit by you, sucking in a deep breath. His hand ran up and down your back, soothing you. You tried to give him a smile, but you still looked pitifully sad.
even when you smile.
"I don't know, Colst. It's just scary. My dad got the job here the same year I started here, so my whole family had moved here. I've never been far from them, I know it's immature but I'm scared."
oh, summer child.
"Hey, no. It's not immature, it's completely appropriate. You didn't get the homesickness of leaving your family when you came to college, and now that they're the ones going far away I know it definitely feels worse. Last year when we got here I was scared too. Especially after football ended and my parents weren't flying here every other weekend to see me play. I hated being alone. But, I found people that felt like family. I had the guys, other friends, this one really cute girl that barely gave me the time of day because she was way out of my league and her dad was one of my coaches."
you don't have to act like all you feel is mild.
You laughed, moving to hug Colston. He said the exact words you needed to hear. You thought about the people who filled your cup. Colston was obviously the first person who came to mind. But there were also all your other amazing friends, your best girl friend, a couple other football players, the group of girls you loved, and so many more.
"Thank you for taking care of me, Colston. I don't say that to you enough. My dad said on the phone that it was gonna be hard to leave me here but he knew there were lots of people here that love me and take care of me. I know he was talking about you. They love you a lot Colston."
you don't really love the sun, it drives you wild.
Colston was speechless. He felt real good about the fact that your parents felt comfortable to leave you in his care. They knew the extent of his love for you, and were in awe of just how perfectly he treated you. The princess treatment they knew their daughter deserved.
He squeezed you tighter, leaving a kiss on your neck.
"I love you, so 'm gonna take care of you. You mean more than anything t'me."
You mumbled the three words right back, holding him tightly.
you're a lying summer child.
-
You're laying in your bed. It's almost 8pm on Friday night and all you've done is rot since you got home from classes in the late afternoon.
It's been a couple days since finding out about your dad leaving. It's been a rough couple of days. You hadn't seen Colston since that day you found out, you were both so busy, and he'd had a large mix of practices, trainings, and physical therapy appointments over the last few days.
Colston texted, making you smile. He'd asked if he could call you, to which you immediately replied yes. You swipe the answer button the second the call popped up.
"Hi Lovey."
"Hi, gorgeous."
You could hear his smile, he was planning something.
"How would you like to go out tonight?"
"Like bar or date going out?"
"A date, coach, obviously. Can't take you anywhere, too many wandering eyes."
You laughed heartily, if Colston was with you you would've slapped his chest while his hands wandered below your hips. Ugh, is it obvious you missed his touch?
"Shut up, Colston. Thought you said you could fight?"
"Oh, of course I can. Don't doubt that for a second. I just don't appreciate other guys checkin' you out. But to be honest, they can look all they want and still won't be the one 'ya sleep with."
You told him to shut up again, your skin from your chest to your ears flaming. You talked to him for a little longer before he told you he'd pick you up in twenty five minutes, and to dress comfy and warm.
You were donning a large pair a sweatpants and one of Colston's hoodies when he knocked on your door. You opened the door with a giddy smile, immediately pulling him into your apartment.
"Hi baby."
You greeted him right before wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him. When you pulled away from him, you stepped back and realized you two were practically matching. Grey sweats and a navy Michigan hoodie.
"So you're trying to be me now?"
"Hello, you're in my sweatshirt, and my sweatpants? I'd say if one of us is copying the other, it isn't me."
"Actually these are my sweatpants, so."
Colston immediately turned you around, twisting the waistband of your sweatpants to look at the tag.
"Hm, that explains why there's 'C. L.' in sharpie on the tag."
Oh, maybe they were Colston's.
"Fuck you and your need to label all your clothing as yours."
You scurried away from him and back towards your room, opening your closet to pick out your shoes. You opted for your Ugg slippers, which of course were pretty much the same as the ones Colston had chosen to wear tonight.
One mirror picture of your matching outfits later, you were holding hands as you walked down to the car. It was early spring in Ann Arbor, but it still got pretty chilly in the night.
"So where are we even going?"
You realized you had no clue what you were doing, it reminded you of your first date. The drive in movie he surprised you with sent your heart soaring.
"It's a surprise, I know how much you love 'em."
You rolled your eyes playfully, thanking him as he opened the passenger door of his truck for you, holding your hand as he helped you in. You settled in and put your seatbelt on as Colston went around the hood, climbing in. His hand went straight to kneading your thigh once he'd put the truck in drive. Your wrapped your arms around his, as always pulling up his sweatshirt sleeve to trace over his tattoo.
Now whenever you drove with Colston, you kept staring when he turned to look. You didn't snap your head forward like a nervous tween girl, you'd smile deeply when he caught you looking, mumbling a greeting to him.
You drove for almost an hour, your music of choice playing through the car. Happy Instead by Zach Bryan played as Colston pulled to a stop in a rocky parking lot. You weren't really paying attention to where you'd been driving, but you smiled widely when you turned and saw the Lake Erie sign. He'd brought you to Stoney Point, where date #3 had taken place for the two of you, and now was a place where he took you every so often.
The small parking lot was semi-full, which was unusual, especially for this time of night.
"Know this week's been rough, sweetheart. Thought you'd like to come 'ere."
arent you way too busy, taking care of everybody, to take care of yourself?
You leaned over the center console, taking his face in your hands and kissing him.
"This is great, Colst. Thank you, baby."
You mumbled against his lips, kissing him again before turning to get out of the car. To which Colston reached and grabbed your hand, giving you a look that screamed, 'stay put.' so you did. Colston climbed out, going around the hood before opening your door, giving you a smile as he helped you down and out of the truck.
He held your hand as he guided you to the steps leading to the rocky sand. Once you got over the steps, your eyes immediately were attracted to the large bonfire a little ways down the shore. You saw the group surrounding the bonfire, before furrowing your eyebrows when you realized they were your friends. You turned to Colston, halting in your steps.
"What's going on, baby?"
"Well, we've all been thinkin' about you. We just wanted to hang out and be with you, sweetheart. Everyone's been wantin' to make sure you're okay."
when the sun goes missing, aren't the flowers just as pretty?
Your vision blurred with tears, you quickly turned to wrap your arms around Colston, thanking him repeatedly.
"You're so sweet, Colst."
He just laughed and kissed you, telling you you deserved it before pulling you down the shore. Once your friends caught sight of you, they were all shouting merrily towards you two.
Your best friend ran over, almost tackling you in a hug.
"Hi lovebug! Oh, I missed you so much!"
You felt the tears well up again, hugging her tightly.
"I missed you too, pretty."
aren't the oceans just as deep?
Once she let you go, you made rounds hugging everyone else, smiling especially wide when you saw some of Colston's teammates standing a little farther from the fire.
"Hi ladies."
You giggled as you approached them, JJ McCarthy immediately jumping to hug you tightly.
"Hey! How are you doing?"
"I'm alright, this has definitely improved my overall mood!"
You pulled away from him, going to hug Donovan, Blake, and Will. Colston came over to the five of you, wrapping his arm around your hips as you fell into conversation. You talked with them for a while before being beckoned over to a group of your girlfriends sitting in camping chairs on the opposite side of the fire.
As you walked away Colston's eyes followed you, his heart soaring seeing you smiling so brightly. The voice of Will across from him bringing his eyes from you.
the trees as green?
"Dude, you know we all like her and all. But, do you really think she didn't know about all of it?"
Colston's eyes darkened, his hand subconsciously pulling into a fist.
"What are you trying to say? That's she's lying to everyone? Fuck are you on, man?"
"Whoa, Will. Man, there's no need to be like that. She didn't know, that's why she's been so upset. Minter lied to her about it."
JJ talked Will down while Blake put his hand on Colston's shoulder, telling him to chill.
"Nah, bro. You don't come out here then pull this shit. We know you're fucking pissy he's leaving, don't try to be a dickhead about it. It's not her fucking fault. The only reason I'm not slapping the fuck out of you right now is because she's over there, and you're not about to ruin this for her."
and as for me, i'll watch you weep.
Colston turned and left his teammates, going to see what was up with the couple of hockey players that he'd invited.
You obliviously talked to your friends, smiling and giggling with them. You were pulled into one of your closest girlfriend's laps as you talked to them.
"Okay but seriously, how are you feeling? We felt horrible when Colston texted everyone about this."
"Honestly, I'm fine. I mean, I'm still really upset, but I'll get over it. I think it'll be whatever, I didn't think my dad would stay forever."
They nodded, sending sympathetic smiles your way. You gratefully accepted a Diet Coke from one of your friends as you continued to talk to them about everything. After a while, you got up and mingled with your other friends that were there. Your former dorm mate and the other girls from the old building stood with you for a little bit before you felt your hand being tugged.
You turned and made eye contact with Colston, smiling.
"Hi Lovey,"
You said it quietly, not wanting to interrupt the girls around you. He smiled, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.
"what's up?"
He shook his head before nodding down towards the water. You nodded, silently following behind him, hands still locked together.
oh, summer child.
He brought you right to where the last dry sand was, the water lapping a dozen or so feet in front of you. You leaned your head against the side of his shoulder, overwhelmed by how warm he was even in the cold of the night. He smelled like how he usually did, the cologne he used called "cosmic cowboy", and the eucalyptus of his shampoo. On top of the usual aroma was a layer of smoke, it danced around in your head until you felt dizzy.
"I love you, Colston. The most."
Your eyes felt heavy as you stared out at the water. The moon was almost full as it glowed over the lake, accented by tiny stars.
"I love you more than anything."
Warmth grew in your stomach, spreading to your heart.
"You know it's okay to be real' sad about this baby? You don't have to act like you're okay, especially not with me. I know how much it hurt you, gorgeous. You don't have to act like you are only ever happy. I don't want you to brush off your feelings anymore."
you don't have to act like all you feel is mild.
He said the words quietly, and full of nothing but love. It was true that you were acting like it didn't affect you like it truly did. That's what you'd had to do since your baby siblings had been born, you'd had to pretend everything was fine, even when it wasn't, you weren't. You turned and wrapped your arms around Colston's waist, his arms immediately enveloping your shoulders. You felt tears prick in your eyes as your forehead pressed against his collarbone.
"Thank you for caring for me. Thank you for always being the one to be there. You don't know how badly I needed you, need you."
you don't really love the sun, it drives you wild.
"'M always gonna be here, gorgeous. Never leavin' you alone. Stuck with me."
"Wouldn't wanna be stuck with anyone else."
You stood there silently, hugging on the shore. You were sure your absence didn't go unnoticed, but you didn't really care. You interrupted the peace with a thought.
"Does my dad leaving mean I can give you hickies now?"
Colston's perfect laugh cut through the soft aquatic air. He pulled away from you just a little, shifting to hold your face.
"That's what you're thinking about? Markin' me up now that your dad won't see?"
"I mean, I've been marking you up where he can't see, so."
One of Colston's hand moved to pat your ass as he pulled you into a intoxicating kiss, earning awes and whoops from your friends up the sand. You decided in that moment that everything would be okay.
you're a lying, summer child.
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around1302 · 10 months
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YOU WROTE ME
SPARE PARTS: blurb 1/1
THE TROUBADOUR, LONDON
(W) strong language, alcohol use, brief smut: if u can call it that
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THIRD PERSON’S POV
9 MONTHS POST-SPLIT
“Why can’t you just trust that it’ll be fun?”
“Because you don’t even know who’s playing! What if it’s some screamo guy and I get traumatised.”
“Please, Charlie, you’ve met my friend. You think he’s going to guitar for a screamo guy?”
Charlie pauses, remembering everything she can from the brief meeting between her and Becca’s friend at her house party last week.
“Yes. Yes I do.”
Becca rolls her eyes, nodding in gratitude at the bouncers who let them into the Troubadour, past the lines and lines of people. Charlie has to admit that’s promising, at least. Surely a hundred teenage girls wouldn’t be queueing for something unworthwhile.
“I thought as a musician you’d be buzzing for a free invite to the Troub!”
Charlie’s turn to roll her eyes, now.
“The Troub?”
“Let me pretend I’m in on the lingo, too.”
“God, you’re just making it worse.”
Becca is Charlie’s only remaining friend from her pre-band days. In contact far too little, but enough to see each other in between schedules. Becca manages a restaurant in London, and throws killer house parties every Saturday. It’s ritual.
Of course, with band life, Charlie barely ever attended. But since the split and a (much too long) nine month hiatus from the industry, she’s had a little more time for living her 20s like she never entered that competition in the first place.
“You want a drink?” Becca shouts over the already loud crowd. Just as Charlie opens her mouth to answer, her forearm’s gripped so tightly she’s sure the blood supply’s been cut off.
“Oh my God! Charlie Greene?” A girl practically screams in her face, holding the hand that isn’t keeping Charlie there in a death grip over her mouth.
Despite her usually extreme routine when it comes to being avoided in public, Charlie assumed tonight could be a one off. Who would recognise her in this crowd, in this venue? Panic strickens her before Becca has to step in, shoving the girls palm off.
“Dude, don’t touch strangers like that.”
“Sorry, sorry, I’m just such a huge fan. I can’t believe you’re here! We all thought they were just rumours.”
“What?” Charlie’s dumbfound, forgetting all that media-trained ‘smile at the fans, don’t let them know you want to punch them’ bullshit.
“You know, you and–”
“Look, I’m sure you’re a nice kid, but we’re just trying to enjoy our night. You want me to buy you some alcohol to get you to go away?”
“Becca–”
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, of course. E-enjoy your night.”
The poor girl scurries away, screaming something to her group but Charlie’s too riddled with guilt to hear what.
“For fuck’s sake, Becs, she’s like sixteen!”
“Gripped you like a forty year old WWE champ though, look at your arm!”
Charlie glances down, noticing the white and red splotches beneath the hazy blue lights. Becca has a point, even if she was a little harsh about it.
“Screw the drinks, let’s just get backstage before anyone else tries to cut off your circulation.”
Nodding, Charlie follows Becca through the crowd, making sure to keep her head down this time. Of course they’re asked for IDs and stage passes before getting through, Becca proudly letting security know they’re friends of the guitarist.
“I’m so proud of Mitch, man. He’s come so far. Can you believe he used to work in a pizza shop?”
“I know, it’s impressive shit,” Charlie nods, hugging her hoodie tight to her chest. Something bad swirls in her gut as she watches the audience from the safety of a thick curtain, seeing whispers and screams shared.
“You don’t think that’s about me, do you?” She points for Becca. Becca scoffs.
“Nah, don’t get too up your own ass, Char. The act’s probably about to come on.”
The band will be entering from stage left, opposite to them both. Charlie has to admit she’s curious. It’s been forever since she’s attended any kind of underground gig, it’s exciting – what music’s really about.
“Gemma Styles.”
Until that moment.
Ears ringing, throat drying, sweat forming. Charlie grips her hoodie so tight her knuckles blanch – she’s wrong, she has to be. It’s just her mind and anxiety playing tricks on her. It’d be impossible for–
“No way, Charlie?”
“Fuck.”
“… Charlie?”
“I mean hi! Sorry, hi!”
Pretending her ears aren’t still painfully ringing, Charlie accepts the open arms of the woman in front of her. Specifically, the sister in front of her. Her ears stop buzzing enough for her to hear Becca’s gasp beside her, and enough to hear her heart coming up through her throat.
“I can’t believe you’re here, it’s so good to see you!”
The one thing Charlie never understood was how Harry could be so intolerable and Gemma could be so… Gemma. Despite the ugliest truth she’s discovered in a while coming undone, she feels somewhat comforted by her hug and her words and her smile.
Perhaps they’re all a little too alike Harry, or perhaps the opposite. She can’t tell. There’s a lot happening.
“Yeah, um…” at a complete loss for words, Becca quickly steps in.
“Hi, I’m Rebecca. Friends with the guitarist.”
“Oh, Mitch! Isn’t he amazing? I’m Gemma, Harry’s sister.”
“Jesus, I’m sorry.”
Charlie shoots Becca a pointed glare. She apologises again, a little more sincerely this time.
“So does Harry know you’re here? Bet he’s thrilled, are the others here?”
“Um, no. And no. Not that I know of. I’m actually here for Mitch, too.”
“Oh, I–” Gemma frowns, understandably confused, but is cut off by the house lights dimming and some opening music starting.
Charlie pinches at her arm beneath the once soft material, it only now feels scratchy and too thick. Should she run? It seems like her only viable option. Except her feet are failing her and it’s too fucking late because–
“Hi everyone! I’m Harry, it’s a pleasure. This is my wonderful band, and we’re going to play a few songs for you. Starting with a new one, this is Complicated Freak.”
Frozen to her place, Charlie listened harbouring feelings she couldn’t quite place. Part of her wishes she had just done those few shots before she left like Becca had quite smartly suggested, but a larger part of her wishes she never came.
Because fuck, has she missed him.
She’s missed his voice, and his hands, and his eyes, and his dimples, and she could say she’s missed his hair but that’s gone with the last nine months. She missed watching him concentrate entirely too hard on playing the guitar and she missed watching that crease form between his brows as he closes his eyes and just feels the music. His music.
The music that sounds eerily familiar. Then suddenly flashes of a tour bus come to mind; long hair and slender fingers strumming a guitar. Lyrics that rendered a little to close to home but were promptly ignored at the time now echo the venue, echo her chest.
“Thank you so, so much everyone. I’ll see you soon!”
Harry lifts his palm to the roaring crowd, intimate and small yet still as deafeningly loud as she remembers them always being for him. Begging for an encore, or at the very least one more wave.
But it’s only then that she realises, still stuck to the floor, that he’s taking his guitar off. He’s offering the audience one final bow and kiss, and he’s turning, and he’s walking, and he’s grinning ear to ear and accepting his friends and family’s congratulations, and then he’s stopping, and he’s staring, and his lungs have stopped and his heart has faltered and–
“You wrote me.”
His lips quiver, paused in an effort to say the right thing. Say anything.
“Yeah, I…”
It’s as if the venue and people around them grew wings and flew away as time itself stopped just for them. The first time they had seen eye to eye in the time you could grow a whole fucking baby for God’s sake – and yet they could barely speak. So much unsaid, it’s almost too much. What do you start to say to the love of your life – who you lost?
Luckily, the people around them didn’t actually grow wings.
“We’ll see you later, H,” his older sister squeezes his dead arm, nodding towards Charlie (as if she saw) and then the other confused onlookers who had developed behind them during the show but fuck if Charlie noticed.
Gemma leads the group out, leaving the pair of them in a silent standoff, the muted sound of a dying crowd and crew starting to clean punctuating the quiet.
“Drink?”
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“I wanted to call you so many times.” Charlie finally admits, three double vodkas deep.
“Why didn’t you?” Harry almost whispers four whiskeys in.
Malibu’s, their old, usual haunt, has been avoided for the last nine months. Not a single band member dared to go, whether it be that Zayn no longer bartends there or that they were afraid of memories. But it felt like the only place for them to be right now. Elbows leant on the same sticky counter, knees pressed together in their tipsy mis-care, no time passed yet the whole world between them.
“I was scared.” Charlie begins. “I needed time, and after I realised that you leaving us didn’t really matter in the end, I was too late.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Come on, Harry. I saw the tabloids. A month after we split you were seen with this person, that person. You had moved on from us, from me.”
Her confession is startlingly sobering, and Harry can’t help but gulp down a painful lump at the way her eyes water. Harry hadn’t moved on in any sense of the word, Harry was simply trying to find Charlie in anyone he could. The way in which he had coped with his web of feelings for the woman for the past six and a half years.
“I could never move on from you, Char. I was just… lost.”
Charlie snorts, turning to down the rest of her drink.
“Baby I–”
They both freeze. Harry didn’t mean to call her that, but God, doesn’t it feel natural? Isn’t that why it slipped out in the first place? Yet, a slap in the face would have felt better for Charlie. The vodka gets caught in her throat, the once warm liquor running ice cold down her chest.
She turns, her heart melting at the sight of his face. It’s that same heartbreaking, broken concoction of regret and worry knitting his brows and dripping from his eyes. And it has her lips hungrily on his.
He catches her, grabbing her hips as he opens his legs for her and draws her to his chest, breathing in every inch of her. Because that’s what kissing Charlie is like. Oxygen for the first time, water for the first time, life for the first time. His rough hands snake up her back, grip her sides, pinch her skin. Her nails rake at the nape of his neck, muscle memory expecting locks to hold onto but finding short curls as their home instead.
Their tongues and lips work in an unspoken agreement, all the way to her new apartment by the bar, all the way to her bed.
They didn’t speak. They were both far too terrified to lose this moment. They just needed each other, the touch they’d both been desperately chasing for months. Charlie closes her eyes as Harry’s mouth starts its attack on her neck and is transported to Louis’ apartment, where she first felt that same desperation.
“Please.” She breathes, wrapping her legs around his hips, eliciting from him a muffled groan as she grinds up towards him. He nods into her neck, his lips still working down her soft skin. She still tastes the same, that strawberry vanilla he could drink by the gallon.
Charlie claws at his back, making an attempt to remove his black button-up as he moves down her body. She just about manages it as he settles between her legs, pushing up her denim dress without grace or care before biting the edge of her knickers.
The heels of her feet press into his toned back, her palms already fisting the sheets as he harshly grips her hips to push her back into the mattress.
A million thoughts run through Harry’s head, but fear holds him back from saying a single one of them. Months ago, he would’ve told Charlie everything. How good her thighs feel, how fucking pretty she looks laying there, needy for him. How much her soft little pants sound like she should be begging for him, how hard he is for her like this.
But he can’t. For all he knows, he’s simply a mouth right now. He’s not Harry, he’s just something she needs, and fuck if he’ll be whatever she needs.
So he bites into her inner thigh, sucking away the sharpness as she grips and tugs at his hair. He moans into her skin, eyelashes fluttering against her hips as he kisses the top of her pubic bone. His touch is rough in every place but his lips as he makes a path to her core, pressing teasing kisses over her clit. Her knickers are fucking soaked through, and the sight alone is enough to send him berserk.
“Charlie, I’m gonna have to–”
“Please, just–”
With that sliver of permission, he reaches down, squeezing himself over his trousers. The slightly relieved pressure has him gasping against her lace, which quickly becomes wetter. Charlie sits up on her elbows, watching Harry touch and squeeze while he continues to tease her.
And it’s there. In between the need and the pleasure, Charlie begins to cry. Softly, quietly, but enough to garner Harry’s distracted attention.
“Hey, hey,” Harry moves back up her body, tugging her dress back into place as he squeezes her hip, “I’m sorry, I-”
“It’s fine.” Charlie’s voice cracks as her head hits the pillow, hot tears quickly meeting her hairline before she can wipe them away.
“Sweetheart–”
“I’m not your fucking sweetheart.” Charlie murmurs between gritted teeth, sending Harry aback. He sits up on his heels, his touch slowly leaving her. Charlie presses her palms into her eyes, squeezing the tears out as she muffles sobs against her hands.
“That’s the problem.”
It’s hardly above a whisper, but Harry hears every last syllable. Leaning back over her, he removes her fists, gently brushing her blotchy cheeks.
“I’m just drunk and emotional and weird and–”
“Stop it,” Harry murmurs, pulling her up to sit in front of him. “Tell me what you’re feeling.” When she doesn’t budge, he drops his head and whispers, “please.”
Charlie finds his eye. In so many ways, he’s unchanged. He still looks at her like that, and it crumbles her, just as easily as it did all those months ago.
“Everything got so fucked up, Harry. The band, me, us. I haven’t sang a chord in months. I see the guys, what, once, twice a month? And you…”
“It’s my fault, Char.” Harry sighs, collapsing beside her, rubbing his face. “I left, I split everyone up–”
“You needed to.” She interrupts, stern. “I didn’t realise at the time, it took me a while to accept it, but you needed to. Niall was starting a family, everyone was starting to burn out, even if we didn’t want to admit it.”
“You did the right thing.”
Those fives words are all that Harry’s wanted to hear for nine months. He’s spent countless, sleepless nights wondering if he’d messed everything up for everyone, forever. If in his selfishness he’d forgotten to use logic.
“I’m just not sure I did.”
Harry frowns, turning to look at Charlie.
“What do you mean, Charlie?”
“I worry that I was… hasty. Rash.”
Harry can’t help the small smile that starts to tug at his lips. He lifts his knees and rests his chin on his palm to hide it.
“I did a really messed up thing, you were justified.”
“No.” Charlie sighs, looking at the ceiling. “I was right to be mad, but I wasn’t right to have said all the stuff I did. I was especially not right to leave you.”
Harry’s chest jumps, but he tries to calm his excited heart before Charlie can finish. When it comes to her, there’s no real predictability. She might be about to destroy him all over again.
“Those six years mean more to me than anything I’ve done in my entire life. You were there through everything, every shitty and amazing thing, all I can think about is flashes of you. My sister, my audition, my first heartbreak, my first– I could go on and on, but the point is, you were there.”
“Even if you annoyed the shit out of me for the better part of it, you’re my life, Harry. I was stupid to think I could ever live it in the same way without you.”
It’s impossible to fight his grin, now.
Charlie finally turns to face him, instantly rolling her eyes at the sight of him. His entirely too wide smile, his glinting eyes and how they quickly flit to her lips, the twitch between his brows that lets her know he’s holding back a comment.
And despite his speechlessness, his answer is obvious.
“You sure you don’t want someone easier?” Charlie lilts, swaying into him.
“Why on Earth would I want anyone else?”
“I don’t know. I yell at you a lot.”
“I’d rather have you hate my guts than have anyone else.” Harry takes her waist, easing her beneath him again as he hovers over her. “I’ve spent my entire life waiting to hear you say that, you know.”
“Entire life is a bit dramatic.” Charlie drapes her arms around his neck, her fingers finding his nape. That hair is going to take some getting used to.
“Nope,” Harry pops his P, leaning down to press a kiss to her jaw. “You’re my life too, Char.”
She leans back into the pillow, her thumb circling his neck. “You mean it?”
It’s Harry’s turn to roll his eyes, now.
“You really have to ask? What more could I possibly do to prove to you that you’re it for me, you always have been.”
Charlie smirks. “I could think of something.”
“Always thinking with your dick, Greene.”
Charlie lets out a scoff, and Harry let’s his chest do whatever it wants.
@lilfreakjez @be-with-me-so-happily @sirtommyholland @tpwksm @b-reads-things @tiaamberxx @daphnesutton @mleestiles
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fischlslays · 1 year
Text
Update on the Raelya Raasini situation..!
Lmao, as yall know from the last post, she was stalking me and some creepy shit. My friend @hunterxhunterisbest contacted her and guess what? She denied that she talked about me💀 bro its so obvious, and you acting stupid is actually driving me nuts💀
Like bro even took the "I always knew Mona mains can get along with Fischl mains." From my blog and said, "I wasn't talking about her, but the first one."
💀💀
AND, she stalked my account long enough to know that I put her in my DNI list, here is the conversation between her and my friend. I'm rlly srry for y'all's eyes💀
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HELP I CANT WITH BITCH ANYMORE.
And btw, again, calling me a "bish" did nothing at all.
How you felt after calling me a "bish":🥰😍💋💅🔥
Bro pls use something else, you called me a bitch 4 times in row now, be creative. And we both know that you still have access to your goddamn account💀
Esther (my friend) had to go through hell and meet Satan to get this ugly ass mf to text back💀💀
"TELL ME" 💀💀 I don't have to say anything, do I? "I blocked her too! How-" that's even worse bro💀 and yall better be grateful for yalls ass😭 I'm rlly sorry Esther.
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💀💀
"But she doesn't know one small detail" "I'm still there" bro watched a lil too much of Batman💀 its insulting to compare him to some random ugly ass mf on tumblr💀 even Esther herself said: "why is she acting so cringy? Is she going to tell me a government secret?😭"
Bro stalked for too long to see my DNI list💀💀 and yea, Esther hates you and thinks you the cringiest person to ever step a foot on this Earth. And no she ain't neutral💀
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Yes, you are the creepiest person I've ever talked to💀 and you still deny it. See? That mf admitted that she was stalking me, lmao, tbh, you though you actually changed smth💀 I already knew that you are a creepy stalker, I didn't need you to inform me, but thank anyway.
"She put me in her DNI list."
"And you still interacted?"
"Yes, because I'm not Raeyla"
"Have you lost it?"
Lmao this part got me laughing😭😭
I know you are not Raeyla, but didn't want to expose you to your sweet friends and virtual family, nor your dear followers💀, "Raasini". Tbh, I'm glad that is not your name, because it would be such a waste of a pretty name on a shitty person💀
"I called her friend a loser bc she is"
💀 mf don't get Leisel into this. You actually thought you did smth?💀💀 bro go cry yourself to sleep or smth, it would've been better for all of us💀 and for the third time, Leisel ain't a loser, and again, you clearly didn't see your self💀do us a favour and never show your fac again, and leave your blog, no one is going to miss you anyway💀 if you lied about your name, why would your followers trust you again?💀 Next time Raasini tries to act cool, remember that she likes Hisoka (a pedophile from hunter x hunter), Oliver Tree(search what he did to Melanie), and The Manni Show (master of slurs).💀
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"Idk hes hot" 💀💀 go get your eyes checked. Is this what you call hot?
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Raasini is this your man?💀💀 I don't blame you, you get attracted to shit cuz u are, rlly. U guys deserve eachother.💀
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Again, I'm rlly sorry Esther, and I sorry for everyone who's reading this except that mf, I bet she cringed too💀
"Peace✌" Bitch shut up💀 bro tried so hard to be Drake💀💀 NOT THE "..."💀
hoW dAre yOU! 💀 I swear no one cares, and I feel so bad for Esther. And btw Esther, you ate. And I agree with every single word you said.
And since that mf said that she just said what I did to her, I'm done, that's it, if you are playing that game, I'll do so too💀
Oh, by the way, remember the time you faked living in Ohio? And the time you were hard-core simping over Kaeya and Scaramouche and called them daddies but then you call me and Leisel losers for liking Fischl and Mona?💀 Or the time you acted all cringy by stuttering through text even though you weren't not Role-playing? Or the time you used the "..." so damn much that I gave my phone the nastiest side eye ever? And the time you acted all emo?💀 bro I have too much things, but I too lazy to list them all, and i don't want my followers to cringe💀
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Here is my gift for you <3 tbh, I glad not the only who thinks that💀 and Raasini, your grammar and spelling books are crying in the corner💀 victim rizz fr. and when I saw the screenshots that Esther sent me, you wrote "bulliying"💀 I didn't know ppl could fuck up the word Bullying. Bro, are you even 17?💀💀
And thx @sulli1361 for your advice, I blocked her, let's hope that mf doesn't make another account to stalk me again💀 because I'm so done with her.
Thx @notafan77 for your prayerz
And thx for @urbestgirlever and @hunterxhunterisbest for keeping up with her
And did you actually put an Oliver Tree quote on your post that was supposed to "expose" me?💀 I hope you are truly embarrassed, because if I was you I'd never show my face ever again. Not for the next 15 years at least.
And if yall want me to posy the screenshots, just tell me, I don't mind, that bitch asked for it.
"Peace out✌" this is going to haunt Mr down forever. Thx Raasini, I'm Traumatised, and so are my followers.
Tags (sry for yalls eyes): @foreveryoung @toxiccluvvv @breaking-panic @disa-ster @whatskillingthekids @vernadettachiara @sillyreadergal-blog @bleakqblake @shinobusupremecy @shinobuscanonwife @shinobu @shinobu-blogging-blog @slutsssphobia @sluttsxphobia @ask-the-insect-hashira @anime-fan- @astrox @simpinxdisrespectfully @pr3tty @notafan77 @piercingmylove @honeydazai @hunterxhunterisbest @hopperowo @toastdee66 @ask-chachamaru-kny @sulli1361 @ask-thekny @orangepegacorn-blog @booplsnoot @ilynaru @ilynes @sarahwinchester97 @mistymuichiro @mistymuichirou @reawakened-goddess @seaacutie42 @limeiscool @limebreaker @urbestgirlever @popcorn-and-other-fun-stuff @hottestcelebrities @horrorchicxoxo @delmissesryan @tomioka-pudding
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trixstriforce · 1 year
Note
hello :) i saw your posts about lu and idk if you were gauging interest in people hearing your opinions. personally i would be super interested in reading what specifically about every lu character is ooc! i am similarly frustrated with the current dominance of lu characterizations in fandom as a ww fan. ive been following for a while i just logged into this side account because i am scared to ask on main :( i hope you do not mind the somewhat bare blog. thank you!
oh my god oh my god oh my god someone wants my opinion??? do u wanna make out???? u do not understand the power u r giving me rn u do not understand how annoying and nitpicky and very passionate i can get specifically about lu bc i care so much about link its unreal and also bc i just like things like linkedmaze, dimensional links, and minaslinkverse better characterization wise bc to me they have shown the "found family links meeting up" thing a lotttt better than lu when i still read it
but to be fair i STOPPED reading around the part where four split due to the way the lu community reacting to the person with DID, a very stigmatized disorder who genuinely just wanted Jojo to acknowledge they messed up in the past and present and didnt like the vauge ass apology she gave making me actually disgusted. ppl talk about accountability then rallied against 1 tumblr user who was uncomfortable bc ppl liked Jojo's comic so she doesnt have to explain that now she respects nonbinary ppl and understands how past things were wrong for her to say we just infer this bc lu good :/ like hey maybe Jojo owned up to it afterwards or something bc she made 2 apologies that would make a YouTuber blush so i was done w/ the community and it was only rlly after that and after i played a few of the actual games + read some mangas i realized wow actually i do not like lu as much as i thoguht i did they butchered my boy, also i feel i should say it literally wouldnt matter to me do what u want in ur au but lu is now a fandom of its own and its influenced a lot of other aus and interpretations of link so i do take issue w/ how ooc these guys end up being
OK HERE R THE MOST BASIC ISSUES W/OUT GETTING INTO EACH LINK RN:
for one i dont know for me having link as a secret hoarder who would rather DIE than use the full scope of his abilities around OTHER HEROS is just no bc thats fucking stupid levels of wanting to appear normal around OTHER HEROS possiblly the ONLY other ppl to ever understand what u r going through
for me having every single link act like a frat boy/standard teenage white boy who is emotionally constipated is a no??? have u SEEN link he is so sociable and kind and understanding to other ppl WHY r the links like this, so many fics just...make them stew in their issues for angst and not trust the others and be incredibly insecure about the other heros(which is lu canon for at least hyrule and wind i think?) and like ok that is definitely fine for 1 link but why r they all like this in the games link is clearly not like that he wouldn't be this closed off and wouldn't hesitate so much like my dude he just inserts himself into other ppl's lives to make them better than leaves he wouldn't pussyfoot around other heros like what
also another major issue is the mergings just lead to certain characterizations or important backstory for certain links(FOUR. LEGEND.) being completely erased and the nuance of their journeys lost like when u merge links who r canonically 100s of years apart not just in the timeline but in the GAMES? yeah u lose things that make that link special
also bc u mentioned wind waker i found it kinda fucked up that wind waker link was delegated to The Kid TM even tho his entire journey was about moving on from the past to a brighter future and he took on the mantle left behind by the hero of time on his own volition and did what Time COULDN'T do which is kill Ganon but he is constantly underestimated and made into the Kid Who Wants Approval trope specifically around Time which sucks ass ngl he deserves to be an equal him still being a kid while the others got to grow up, including Four who's first journey arguably would have been a better fit for this archtype of wide eyed kid, is just side lining one of the most interesting links especially considering most of the other links were YOUNGER than him when they started
this is all general stuff plus 1 of my issues w/ Wind bc ur a Wind Waker fan bc as a Spirit Track fan i feel a kinship, im gonna make another post for specifically each link breaking down my issues w/ how they r portrayed later bc rn it is 8am and i ment to just say haha ty for the permission but then my inner ranter came out i am INCAPABLE of being normal about lu especially after i actually experienced zelda games bc lu was my FIRST introduction to zelda outside of smash bros lol
toast if u r reading this say rip to ur dms bc i am once more gonna talk to u about a comic for a videogame franchise u only know about due to my rambles and forcing u at gunpoint to learn about link...godspeed comrade
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menalez · 10 months
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I just think It’s weird how people on here act like they know everything going on in someone’s life just by reading their tumblr blog. Not to not all men but just so everyone knows.. not everyone in the military raped and murdered little children. Everyone saying like. “Oh so you’re fine with being married to someone who went to afghanistan and raped little girls and tortured and brutally murdered everyone in a five mile radius?????” Or just. I don’t know it’s just kind of dumb. Obviously that happens a lot in the military but……….. and also you don’t know their relationship either, so. You weren’t there which means you’ll never know the full story, just what kelly posts online. I’m not even the biggest fan of her, I don’t follow her, Im generally critical of women who marry men, et cetera. But I can see that it’s just stupid. You can’t know everything about someone just from online, for example, I hadn’t posted on my blog for months because I was in inpatient and wanted to actually focus on my recovery, but I had many people in my inbox, as well as mutuals talking, and everyone had a different idea to what had happened to me. Literally no one thought I was in inpatient since I hadn’t ever posted about it before (my blog is a fandom blog, so I don’t talk much about my personal life when it’s not in relation to the book). I don’t know. I think these people are just kind of dumb and maybe they need to go do something with their life. Call their mom, walk their dog, develop a sense of self awareness, and so forth.
listen he may be the worst person ever or the best man in the world, at the end of the day i literally don’t know him & yeah a man being in the military doesn’t mean he’s a rapist who killed brown ppl and raped every woman in his path. but i can understand not trusting him bc he’s in the military as well. like this is a specific person they’re talking about rather than them listing things the US military has been proven to have done. if we wanna argue that he’s probably the type or person who might overlook such issues then fine ok i can get that, if they wanna be like i can never trust or like a guy like that, fine sure. if they think hes unethical i get that too. but coming up with horrible scenarios and insisting it must’ve happened and thus it’s justifiable to hate on a random woman on tumblr bc she’s married to a guy in the military and the military is bad is perhaps 😭 just a little bit overboard? we do not know their relationship. we don’t know him or what he’s like to her or how she feels or anything else bc even ppl who talk about their lives on here aren’t telling u everything ever. we don’t know their lives like that n while i get it if ppl don’t like her bc no one can be liked by everyone, it’s just too much when ppl speculate and take ppls personal lives so personally in that way.
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everafterkeiji · 3 years
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Its my birthdayyyy 😈 i just turned 14 lol my sister got the coronavirus so i really cant go out on my birthday so i just have to stay home all day 🙋‍♀️ can i pleaseee request toman boys preparing a birthday party for y/n cuz she did alot and helped them sooo they just wanna do something nice for her ig? Sorry if its too much u can ignore this request
my darling, happy birthday!! happy 14th to u bub, enjoy ur day, ok? i fell asleep and woke up really late for my class so I'm sorry if i ended up posting this on the 16th but i hope u and ur sister are doing okay and ur day was well spent! thank u so much for requesting and stay safe always, we gon celebrate this together yep (・ω・)つ⊂(・ω・) <33
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𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐃𝐀𝐘
PAIRINGS: Toman x gn! reader
GENRE: fluff fluff fluff, humor, (not proofread cuz i got so sleepy)
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- Two days before your birthday, Hakkai was the first one to alarm the gang about it, not even realizing that he let out a secret a little too late but they knew they shouldn't spare a single moment to take it to their advantage. "You guys have any plans for the weekend? I'm shit bored all the time." Peh-yan sighs and Mitsuya eyes him.
"Right, the 15th, huh? That's Y/N's birthday." Hakkai calmly states, in contrast to the two who were sharing concerned and startled expressions now that they had to rush a plan. "Wait what?"
"THIS SATURDAY?"
- The hectic schedule begins with Mitsuya sending an emergency text to their group chat, calling on their cells to let them in on this new found information and everyone seems to blame Hakkai, much less to blaming themselves for not even thinking about it at the first. "You could've told us sooner." Mikey scolds and they nodded their heads to his words. "Well—I thought all of you knew? What are we gonna do about it now?" And sharing the same links to their worry, they all shift their gaze to Mitsuya who already took part in expecting that they'd name him the handler for the event.
"Fine, I'll plan it and shit but everyone will help out. Not just me and Draken, alright?"
"Hell yeah! Let's do this for Y/N!" Chifuyu cheers which causes the rest of them to follow his glee at how ready they were to succeed with this.
- The sectioning of the plan starts by Mitsuya separating them by their abilities. He sticks to the division members and captains but for other instances, he's composing a team of three from different teams. "Smiley, Pehyan, and Baji—you three need to deny everything if they ask about what's going on, keep them distracted too—make sure Y/N doesn't even begin to think about it, okay?"
"Understood, boss!"
- The next day, those same boys were acting like stealthy undercover agents when someone brings up what you were going to do. They're invested on your answer all the way through. "Nothing strikes my mind for now but I'd like to spend it with the guys." You responded with a smile, a subtle imagination of the fun it contained if it turned into reality. Raising an eyebrow, Peh-yan scoffs while you walked his way and he half panics when he failed to construct his words.
"Oh, hey!" You greeted them, a bit curious to why those two were in your class. "You need something?" You asked them but Smiley let's out a chuckle. "None of your business." Baji says with a slight aggression to his voice as he receives a slap to the back, courtesy of the oldest Kawata twin.
"You suck at this." Peh-yan whispers. "Well uh, I'll see you then." You bid them good-bye and the curiosity sinks to you but you choose to pay not as much attention to it for now.
- "Draken, Chifuyu, and I will take care of the decor. Can any of you cook?" Mitsuya questions, eyes switching to every member while they shrug. The silver haired boy sighs, running a hand to his face at how he's carrying everything. "We can pitch in for the cake so you don't have to worry about it." Draken suggested and they nodded at his offer.
"I don't trust anyone else in the kitchen anyway."
- Mikey, Souya, Hakkai, and Takemichi were in charge of buying whatever the party leaders needed to have. Strolling in the mall with balloons in their paper bags, some streamers, and confetti bombs—they didn't really expect to see you sipping on your coffee with a bag of your own while your eyes dart to them and suddenly they were all pushing each other to detect who'd be able to lie the best. Their leader walked as far as he could and the three other chickens were left to hand the carry ons from one person to another. Unfortunately, Souya was the chosen one to converse with you.
"It's nice to see you here, Angry." You send him a smile but with the banter behind him, he horribly panics and covers your eyes, a kick to Hakkai for them to run and the two obey, scramming as the blue haired twin's chest began to pant.
"Souya? Is everything okay?" You asked him when he lowered his hand. He shakes his head in response while you tilt your head, blank spaces filling your mind at his bizarreness.
"Y-yeah! BYE BYE!" He simply walks out in shame.
- "I don't want to talk to, Y/N. We're avoiding them as much as possible, remember?" Takashi reminds, sewing for the banner with a needle in his mouth. Unbeknownst to them, you stood outside their room right where your name had been mentioned. Clutching the strap of your bag, you stopped in your step, taking a peak to Peh-yan and Mitsuya who were the only ones inside.
"Avoiding?" You whispered to yourself but Ryohei sees your figure and nudges on the person beside him. Both of you shared a glance until that same boy comes in front of you, hands on either side of your shoulders. "Peh?"
"Y/N-chan! Nope we're closed, Mitsuya's busy!" He ushers before shutting the door right to your face out of panic all over again which leads the president to be worried of your reaction. Though, when he opens the door, you're gone in a flash.
- The next day, the word has gone out that you've been suspicious of their doings and they're even more pressured to maintain the secret because you're asking them if they needed some sort of help when you see them but all they do is excuse themselves. "What's wrong with them today?" You asked, your back slumping from your lack of conversation with him. Since then, you did avoid Mitsuya for the mean time because of the homeroom incident, to which he absolutely feels guilty about.
"I think Y/N is getting the wrong idea. They probably think they did something wrong." He states. "We need to hurry up or else."
- The boys continue on—working extra hard even if they were facing arguments by a dozen of hours. "What if Y/N's allergic?" Souya asks, looking at the cake. "They're not... right?" His brother hinted. "Shit, I don't know!"
"Can you aim it higher? A little more to the left—no too much—stay—more to the side please!" Takemichi orders Chifuyu who was groaning from the arm strain. "Oi, let's switch! My arms hurt so much!"
"Okay so when Y/N comes in do we bomb the confetti the moment they walk in?" Mikey questions and Draken shakes his head. "They're gonna choke from all the paper."
- It is slightly concerning when the Kawata twins were suddenly paying for your snacks, giving each a critique just to know if you were allergic to anything. "How's that one taste like?" Souya asks.
"It's okay, the flavor is...average, I guess." You observed while the two share a glance, mentally cursing when they realized it was majority of the flavor they got for you.
"More food for Y/N!"
- There were stupendous remarks, often made by Takemichi and Chifuyu just to get a reaction out of you. "I sure don't like...metallic stuff!" Raising an eyebrow, you turned to the duo and with a pen ready to write, Chifuyu squints his eyes to you.
"What is your opinion on color? Do you like it scattered or-"
"Is this an interview?"
- You're more persistent in what they were up to but it does pain you that you resembled a plague at how they kept their distance around you. Draken tries to assure you everyone else is busy with a Toman meeting but you weren't updated on anything. It was a clear lie for the rest, especially Peh-yan and Souya who were jittery and too obvious. Smiley and Baji were the only ones capable of holding out until the end, keeping the conversation fresh without the mention of your birthday.
- Still, they really want to make this a special day for you. Because of everything you've done for them to respect them and defend them when needed, a display of gratitude is what you deserve. "I don't want Y/N to feel like we're ignoring them too much but I'm excited to see their reaction though." Takashi had a proud smile on his face now that the full view of the set up looked so much better than the rough first day. Chifuyu was panting beside him from taping all the balloons from multiple walls and Draken wipes his sweat who was done putting the rest of the banner on the high parts.
"Y/N's gonna love this!" Takemichi hypes up from behind. "Not bad. How are we gonna lure them in?" Baji asks.
"Maybe it should be Mikey." Hakkai suggests and the blonde disagrees. "I'll mess it up. Now that all of this is set up, can we talk to Y/N? Maybe they'll be out after school and we'd never know." Their leader proposes.
"I'll do it. I owe an apology to them anyway." Mitsuya volunteers which relieved the others for the task.
- Much to their excitement for your actual birthday, you ended up avoiding them in return. The last two days felt like they pushed you away for a reason and it's taking a toll on you at how clueless you were. When the second division tried to approach you, you ended up turning to a different hall, purposely throwing off his direction which strikes him. "What's going on?" He whispers to himself and the next couple of minutes were spent trying to catch your attention.
The moment you do look at each other, mans is terrified. There's a chill cascading from his lower back to his nape at how closed off you were and it dawns on him that the whole situation of avoiding you ended up on the bad side of their decisions. "Oh shit." He cusses.
- "H-hey, Y/N!" Hakkai greets you with a nervous smile and you could only give a bow to him, eyes intent on the floor as cold sweat drops from him. "Okay bye Y/N!" Peh-yan then, out of the many instances he's slipped up, took the opportunity by grabbing your hand.
"I promise—this time I really have something to show you."
- You were quiet for the rest of the trip, they decided that it was best for you have a blindfold on which doubles your anxiety of where you were going anyway. It doesn't help that they kept murmuring and the more you took a step, the more you dreaded waiting for them to greet you. "Okay, stand there, we'll let go." Hakkai informs you as you shake your head. "Wait—don't leave!" You cried and that was when no one else surrounded you.
Until a voice spoke, "Take of your blindfold, Y/N!"
- And as the fabric drops to you nose, your eyes were mesmerized by the sudden flash of light, surrounding the entire room. The decorations were well organized and a big banner that said happy birthday with a table filled with meals and gifts, even party hats with toy trumpets to celebrate. You covered your mouth out of shock, your heart not even letting it sink into you that this was the reason they've been avoiding you for a while. The words that ring in your moment of awe was, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" From all of the main captains and founding members of Toman.
Though, the confetti bomb didn't exactly blow up after they said it and Mikey was struggling so hard on pulling the object. "I can't do it." He complains while you let out a laugh. As a joke, Baji turned his gaze to you.
"Hey, Y/N? You think you can walk in again and let's do a retake?"
"Oh absolutely." You giggled at their inconvenience before obeying the long haired boys demands, walking in with a brighter smile than the first time and another chorus of happy birthday resonates through the building as the sound of the confetti finally working mixes with it. A rain of colorful strings and papers poured on all of you while you ran to them, catching them in an embrace.
- After hearing their plan with a couple of apologies here and there, you couldn't stop smiling and laughing at their stories of how close they were to giving in especially when you ignored them. "So? This was all the big fuss about?" You asked Mitsuya as he bids you a nod with a hand to your shoulder. "If it's all for you then it's worth it."
Mikey then brings in the cake, lit up in the amount as your age and they urge you to stand up. "We're thankful that you're here Y/N. We thank you for everything that you've done for us and we had a lot of fun planning this entire day out for you to enjoy, so, why don't you make a wish and let's begin your party!" He spoke with a smile to you and your heartbeat fastens at how lucky you were to be treated by such amazing friends.
They started to sing the classic happy birthday song, Peh-yan and Angry's voice casually above the others but they had to match that energy so even when the song was meant to be slow, the anticipation and rest they got now that everything was settled brought even more warmth to the room and a kick in the rhythm.
Closing your eyes as a wish is said in your mind, you blew the candle and with a few more embraces, they all began to cheer,
"Happy birthday, Y/N!"
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TOKYO REV : @strawberrieas @kwrg @raya-sano @kimrena-stuff @heavensbeloved @rosewood1999 @beezebub @l-luci @bekky06 @keiisukebaji @manjiroarchiviste @smileysmileysmiley @tendo-shairdye @toshiswifey @thispenguinrocks @kleesboom
OVERALL: @stesphy @itsmeaudrieee @crapimahuman @meguroshi @floydenai @dai-tsukki-desu @inu1gf
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wonlouvre · 3 years
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pairing: non-idol!mingyu x non-idol!female oc genre: fluff just because we love it word count: 2.9k+ WARNINGS: none! (pls tell me if i missed anything!)
Kim Mingyu is always caring and always loving. 💌: it’s true... kim mingyu has found his way to my heart. lol just kidding! it’s the vlog and ugh!!!! he’s so soft, sexy and domestic (don’t u dare disagree with me) and i had to talk about it!!! PLS SEND THIS SOME LOVIN <3 thank you!
1. Finding excuses to touch each other in little ways
Mingyu always gravitates towards you whenever your circle of friends get together. He seems to always find a way to be right beside you, regardless if the space is too small for his tall build. It doesn’t matter if you're sitting on a single seat sofa, the arm rest is plenty comfortable to lounge on (it’s not). And when you’re chatting with your friends other than him? He will just stand where you are, also listening (as if you don’t have enough ears already).
But more than that, you think it’s him finding excuses to touch you. It’s not necessarily the bold hand holding type or resting his arm around your waist kind of touching. It’s more on the subtle grazing of his knuckles against yours, shoulders bumping or his arms on the backrest, warming the back of your neck (when you’re finally on a big couch). 
It’s a little suspicious because you and Mingyu never established anything about crossing the boundaries of your friendship. In fact, it’s not only until recently that you started sending text messages other than the time and location of your meetup. You’ve known him for a short while. You met him through a mutual friend and that was it. You became part of their circle, him with yours. You now share text messages of what time you get off of work or what you are having for dinner. You even talk about the current drama you’re watching until midnight even though you’re already tired and could pass out anytime soon. 
You honestly don’t know how it all started, but you’re not complaining. At all.
You’re not complaining whether it be him excitedly running to you once you arrive or patiently waiting until the person sitting next to you leaves and slowly fills the vacancy. You also don’t mind when he removes the stray strand of hair you didn’t notice while you’re talking and puts it behind your ear. You’re also not uncomfortable when his gaze lingers to your face when he thinks you don’t notice. 
You’re no different anyway.
Your fingers always absent-mindedly find their way to the soft fabric of his shirt whenever he walks ahead of you. Sometimes, your hand rests a little longer on the back of his neck when he leans the other way to answer one of your friend’s questions while you speak to the one on your side. The bravest display of affection you have ever done was not only rubbing your hand against his back but slipping it underneath his sweatshirt where you could feel his bare skin and taut muscles because he said he was cold.
That was the first among many. 
Eventually, you start grasping Mingyu’s hand when he offers it whenever you’re walking to the restaurant, park, cafe or the parking lot without the need to look behind you . He just holds them out, trusting that you’ll take it. You actually do. Every single time. You don’t see it, but it puts a wide grin on his face.
2. Slowly becoming more comfortable with each other
It was a long tiring day at work but you couldn’t say no to Minghao’s birthday dinner invitation. He’s the mutual friend that led you to meeting Mingyu and aside from the long history the two of you share, you are grateful for him bridging you and Mingyu. Plus, his party always has the best foods and drinks. 
Mingyu must have seen right through you. Your shoulders were slumped and face casted down when you entered the house and removed your coat. Mingyu was waiting for you, leaning on the beam post as he scrolled down his phone to kill time. He offers you a small smile to which you return immediately. The day doesn’t sound so bad anymore. 
It gets better when he meets you halfway and envelopes you in a big warm hug. Your arms didn’t hesitate to circle around his neck, face nuzzling to his neck and smelling his scent you have grown familiar with. He almost swept you off of your feet and pressed a kiss on the side of your head, but he restrained himself and settled for a hug in the meantime. 
“Ahem,” you hear Minghao’s voice, making you reluctantly let go of the baby giant standing in front of you. “It’s my birthday. Shouldn’t I get a hug too?”
You chuckle and make your way towards him. You give him a hug, but only with one arm because Mingyu was holding the other one back, his fingers interlaced with yours. “Happy birthday, Minghao.”
Your friend mutters a sincere thank you. Afterwards, he sends a cheeky wink to Mingyu as if to tell him that he knows. In return, Mingyu just glares at him. You’ll never probably know about this teasing exchange, but who knows, Minghao always finds a way to have the upperhand. He’ll save this story after the two of you officially date. 
“Make a move already,” Minghao says and nudges his friend who’s left alone after you excused yourself to the restroom. 
“Shut up,” Mingyu groans and down the drink he’s holding. “I’ll do it soon, you impatient prick.”
Minghao just gives his signature giggle. 
You return after five minutes and Minghao’s wink doesn’t go unnoticed. You frown when he  snickers as he takes his leave. He must be getting drunk, you thought and find your place beside Mingyu once again, his arm around your shoulders while yours around his waist. 
“What was that all about?” You ask and look up to him. 
“Hmmm?” He hums and intently meets your eyes. “What is it?”
“Minghao,” you answer. “He just winked at me. Were you guys talking behind my back?”
Your narrowed eyes and sulky pout makes Mingyu smile in adoration. He shakes his head and leans down to lightly bump his forehead against yours. For a moment, your heart stops beating at the action. You thought he was about to kiss you. 
“No, of course not,” he assures you and ruffles the top of your head. “It must be the alcohol.”
3. Remembering little details about each other
There’s this one habit that you noticed Mingyu has been doing. His hair is short compared to yours, but even with that length, he likes to pull some strands and twist them around his fingers. At first you were confused, but when you witnessed him sleepily do it after he woke up from a quick nap, you were sure nothing looked more endearing. 
These days you do it for him and that makes him drift to dreamland in an instant. It wasn’t an intentional act. The first time was when you were in the car on the way to the rest house that you’ll be staying at with your friends. He was squirming and couldn’t seem to find a comfortable position. You felt bad because he looked like he really wanted to get some shut-eye. So without any hesitation, you gently grab his head and let it rest on your shoulder. Mingyu becomes small beside you once he wraps his arms around yours. You were only caressing his hair in the first few minutes and it’s not until later you started doing his habit. He was snoring all throughout the ride and you weren’t bothered by one bit.
On the other hand, Mingyu noticed that you only use one pillow. Not only when you sleep. You just seriously have one pillow on your bed and that’s it. You told him it’s inside one of your cabinets when he asked you where the other pair was when he visited (he goes to your place now, alone). He asked why and your only answer is that you don’t want it to accumulate dust. 
“I sleep just fine with one pillow for my head to rest on anyway,” you tell him while placing the hot mug on the center table. 
“Noted,” he says and pat the cushion of your couch for you to sit on. “I won’t give you any then for your birthday.”
You roll your eyes, but smile nonetheless and finally take your seat. 
Mingyu takes the remote and presses play to start the movie you decided to watch. You snuggle closer to him and rest your head on his shoulder. Almost like an instinct, Mingyu wraps his arm around you without tearing his eyes from the television. 
“You could be my other pillow,” you murmur under your breath and if Mingyu was too engrossed in the film, he wouldn’t hear you. 
Good thing he wasn’t. Because he heard you loud and clear. 
Remember when Mingyu said he won’t buy you a pillow for your birthday? He didn’t. But he did on one random day. 
Your hands were by your hips as you watched him take your now old pillow and replace it with the brand new ones he bought. He must be out of his mind if he thinks he can just barge into your bedroom and change your decor. Well, you must be also out of your mind because you’re allowing him to do so.
“Can I know why you’re suddenly changing my pillow?” You question as you follow him around. 
“You’ll sleep better with these,” he guarantees, fluffing them up.
You cross your arms and challenge his claims. “How do you even know that?”
“I asked around and did my research,” he answers and takes your hand to pull you to the mattress. “Doctors also recommend this particular pillow design.”
He makes you lay down and when your head hits his gift, you can’t deny the instant relaxation your muscles felt. You thought you were going to fall asleep right this moment. 
“How is it?” Mingyu asks, still standing as he peers down at you. “Feels good, right?”
“Lay down with me and you’ll find out,” you boldly offer, looking him directly in the eyes. 
Mingyu blinks in astonishment, but doesn’t back down. He quickly removes his slippers (the one you bought only for him) and takes the space on your other side. This is the first time he’ll ever lay beside you on your bed and you honestly don’t know how to feel. In a good way. A really really good way.
“Oh wow,” he says with a sigh and closed eyes. “This does feel good.”
You smile and prop yourself on your elbow to face him and bop his nose. “You didn’t have to buy me this, but thank you nonetheless.”
Mingyu opens his eyes before holding you close to him, your head on his chest and his one arm underneath your body. He briefly kisses your forehead and closes his eyes again. 
“Anything for you.”
4. Showing that they care for one another
“I can always cook for you, if you want.”
Mingyu, being the ever all around and caring person that he is, decided to make you lunch. He cooked you your favorites because you mentioned at your dinner date (yes, you finally call your times spent together dates) that you missed eating them and cooking has been excluded from your schedule because of your lack of energy to do so. 
Your smile is beaming while you fix the collar of his coat. He hasn’t even showered yet by the looks of his disheveled hair and familiar yellow t-shirt you saw during your video call last night. He probably woke up earlier than usual to cook and rush to get here. 
“You know that I will appreciate that, right?” You ask and pat his chest. “But no thank you. I’m just busy this week. I will find a way to cook again.”
Mingyu purses his lips and nods. “Well, just say the word and I got you.”
You giggle and kiss his cheek. “How’s the song you’re working on with Wonwoo by the way?”
It was Mingyu’s turn to smile as he tail behind you to your bedroom. He mentioned this collaboration once (he talked about it for hours but that doesn’t matter) and his heart swells with pride that you remembered. You know that he has a lot of interests and that he’s good at doing them. Recently, he’s been immersed with music composing because he had the chance to visit Jihoon’s studio and watch him do his magic. Bringing Wonwoo along was a piece of cake because of their similar tastes.
“It’s doing great!” He answers and plops down on your bed. “We’ll try to finish recording this week and then we’ll continue from there.”
“I’m so excited to hear it,” you genuinely say while caressing his face. His eyes were closed when he nodded and smiled. He’s really sleepy now. “You can stay here if you want. Nap, shower or whatever.”
Mingyu has stayed the night countless of times. He has his own drawer of clothings, slippers, toothbrush, facial wash, soap and shampoo among many other belongings here already and if he had his own key, he can also just saunter his way in. But out of respect for you, he doesn’t. He can’t wait for that to happen though. 
Mingyu doesn’t need to be told twice, immediately removing his warm coat and dropping it to the floor. You roll your eyes and pick it up, folding it neatly before placing it on the chair. You watch him slip underneath the blanket and hold the pillow you use close to him, slowly falling asleep. 
You breathe out a dreamy sigh and lean down to kiss his forehead. “See you later, baby.”
5. Slowly, but surely falling in love
How do you even start finding the right words to describe how Mingyu has made a huge difference in your life? He tells you how you did all the time. You, however, can’t seem to exactly point them out. Your boyfriend (for the nth time, finally) is not bothered by one bit but you feel bad because you want him to know, you want to assure him.
He just shakes his head at you and pulls you closer to his naked torso, coaxing you to sleep and not let it get in your head. You relent after a while, giving his pecs a soft kiss and closing your eyes. 
The following morning, Mingyu wakes up early because he has to meet with the director and production crew that will bring their music video to life. They took a break after the song was finished to breathe and let ideas flow naturally without any force. The song was beyond amazing and you are proud of what he and his best friend accomplished. He’s on a roll these days and you're happy for him.
Mingyu remains on the bed, picking up his phone from the nightstand to check the time. His other arm remains wrapped around you, running soothing circles on your shoulder as you continue to sleep. He lowers the brightness level before scrolling any further, afraid that it will awfully wake you up. He has the option to get up, but he prefers you to not get cranky because he left.
Eventually, Mingyu has to force himself up but not without leaving kisses all over your face. You were already awake the moment he woke up. You were just stalling for time with your eyes closed so that you can keep him close to you. When he detaches himself, you finally open your eyes and follow his body walking towards the bathroom. 
The bedroom is dark from the closed curtains, but the light he turns on is enough for you to get a good grasp of how sexy and handsome your boyfriend is. You ogle at him and you’re proud of it. He has caught you numerous times already, but he admits that he’s the same with you. It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing a hoodie matched with sweatpants or a lace camisole paired with an underwear of the same material. His eyes will follow you.
After stretching your limbs that fell asleep with you, you sit up and stand from the bed as well. You put your slippers on and grab the cardigan he always leaves on the chair and drape it over your upper body. Mingyu hears your movements as he brushes his teeth and smiles at your sluggish steps towards him. 
“Breakfast?” You ask while wrapping your arms around his waist, your cheek resting against his back. 
“I’ll grab some with Wonwoo hyung,” he answers, rinsing the toothbrush. “Do you want me to cook for you?”
You shake your head no and plant a kiss on his warm skin. Even at this point of your relationship, Mingyu has been consistent. Always caring, always loving. 
“It’s okay. I’ll probably fall asleep again in the living room once you leave.”
Mingyu turns around and wraps his arms around your waist. You lean towards him and let his body engulf yours. He kisses, once or twice, the top of your head before reluctantly letting go to shower. 
“Let’s have dinner together tonight,” he says. “I’ll cook.”
“No, I will cook,” you rebut and he just shakes his head. “I love you, Mingyu.”
Mingyu almost slipped on the cold tiled floor. You laugh and he glares at you. 
“I told you not to surprise me like that!” He complains and shuts the curtains closed. 
You roll your eyes and walk outside to the living room.
“And I love you too!” 
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daimonhalos · 3 years
Text
Appreciation post for the eggpire and more during the red banquet cause I'm not seeing enough love for how well they organized and delivered and because I'm so proud of cc!Bad for how far the Bloodvines arc has gone ♥ (this stuff is from Bad's vod btw)
Also something to cheer people up a bit in case the lore got u hard like it got me cause I'm still not okay bestie <3
The starting soon screen being an animation (with glitches to show another frame!!) plus the jazzy electro-swing soundtrack underneath. Just such a good intro, I felt like I was actually in the waiting line for an event, just awesome.
Ponk. Just Ponk, dapper man, handsome Ponk just standing there. Gorgeous, thank you, standing ovation, I love him.
Just everything Bad and Ant did with the building of the room, the stairs!! The coat room!!! The statues right in front of the table, everything looked SO pretty.
ANT MY BELOVED LOOKING HANDSOME AS ALWAYS I just loved all their outfits. The banquet's skins just SLAPPED HARD.
The little moment where Bad changed view of his character and we could see him, Ant and Ponk cwc
Bad singing >>>>>>>>>>
Everyone getting lost despite the oak signs
THE ARC ABOVE THE DANCEFLOOR, WHAT THE HELL YOO
Bad complimenting everyone on their outfits and giving out some gapples here and there
Bad also always repeating the same catchphrases
Sam just drinking copiously and the dumpy situation
People actually dancing + HBomb being the dj
Puffy walking around Bad to see his outfit and complimenting him, just felt like their old friendship cwc
FOOLISH GAVE BAD A FLOWER <3
Bad scolding George for not wearing an outfit (Sam's "his name is Gogy and he is beautiful")
"It's almost time for the feast. It's gonna be delicious." the foreshadowing
Everyone dancing together cwc
"minecraft dancing is speed squats" eret ilu
Bad and Ant complimenting moment ♥
The eggpire all on the same side of the table. Them
Ponk's little "Hello!" after Bad said he made the soup, plus everyone going "good job!!" just twt
When Bad started asking if anyone wanted to give a toast, I realized eventually that this was more of a disguised "Want to say your last words before death?" and it now sounds s o freaking cool. ye s
P O N K 'S S P E E C H
"you look beautiful right now" sam i will cry
When in the middle of his speech, Bad turns to Ant who's already looking at him, nods, Ant nods back, and as Bad turns around again we can see Ant walking away from his seat. I am OBSESSED with this scene, like you already know something is about to go down and oh gosh it was delivered so good
THE LAVA COMING DOWN FROM THE CEILING AS BAD KEPT TALKING, NONE NOTICING, HIM TALKING ABOUT HOW THE BANQUET WILL BE UNFORGETTABLE. SO HOT
"And yeah! Thank you for coming everybody" the little mischievous giggles right after "And prepare uh ... yep. Prepare to die." AND THEN HE FUCKIGN DRINKS FROM HIS GLASS LIKE COME ON YOU CANT BE ANY COOLER THAN THAT YOOO
"The leaf is staying the way it is" you can hear the laughter in his voice like HAH GOTTEM that's so good
Bad still giving Hbomb gapples cwc
"Where you looking for this perchance?" AND THEN EQUIPS THE ENTIRE ARMOR AND WEAPONS E Y E when the twists started dude. this si where the twists started and never ended
HANNAH CROSSING SIDES AND SIDING WITH THE EGGPIRE. QUEEN SHIT that was such a cool moment for her i'm so glad she's getting her moment
The eggpire laughing, just pure villainy, love them
"Time to get on the main event" the nonchalance. The way they equipped the crossbows and readied the arrows at the same time. B r u h fucking awesome they are
The eggpire faking being afraid when Sam was talking about blowing the egg up. Sad that we already knew about the obsidian thing, but still made it a very cool scene. Especially right after when they started laughing at them again. I don't know what it is about it but I love them being so sassy.
FREAKING EXECUTIONS THEY WORKED FOR MASS EXECUTIONS they were able to trap all those freaking people!! And trick them and counter attack all the time! what the fuck, I'm so impressed
Thank you Fundy for sounding super terrified /gen ♥
Wait ahah they really said EGGSECUTION-
THE EGG HATCHES THE EGG HATCHES THE EGG HATCHES im not saying IT but im saing Velvet
"Follow me! Follow me!" HANNAH SOUNDED SO ENTHUSIASTIC i love
"We trusted you!" "Well, that was your first mistake-" THE WAY BAD WAS ABOUT TO LAUGH. DUDE they definitely had so much fucking fun making this
sassyboyhalo
Foolish acting thank u ily. Also the thunder not working what the heck i wanna know what was going on inside his mind right then he sounded so lost. THE ACTING
"Sacrifice!" Hannah idk how to say this but I love you
ANT MOMENTTTT
When puffy called them selfish i was expecting bad to just do a huge double take. I wanted him to snap immediately PLEASE SNAP-
BAD DELIVERING AGAIN WITH THE AMAZING ACTING
"Not just for the egg but for what the egg is going to give us" he's so desperately trying to make them udnerstand it promised him his friend back he literally mentions it every single time but everyone calls him selfish because they think he wants power when he just wants skeppy's friendship back in this essay I will- Anyway yes I love that he never explicitly says it because it kills us viewers with pain cause we KNOW and then the reveal will be 100 times more powerful. This is so awesome
"I can't stop Quackity and you know why I can't stop. If I stop I can't get what I need." his voice grew so much lower like he's just holding back MAN I HH IT WAS SO GOOD
SECRET RETREAT ROOM YOOO
Ponk giving Bad some food and telling him to stay safe, Bad telling both Hannah and Ponk to stay safe too. My tears
And now the solo Bad lore part, where we actually see the true part of him that's absolutely devastated and makes me cry, the way he acted all confident and then saw everything crumble in a few seconds and now he's destroyed again because what if they find a way to destroy the egg what then? what if he never gets skeppy back? dude, you can just read his emotions it's so sad and i love how it was portrayed
"I know where I can go. I know who I can see!" BDI REF BDI REF FOR SURE I have a feeling that's going to be explained in the next lore stream with Skeppy and I'm so hype. I love the little crumbs of references here and there.
"But now they have it.." he sounded so broken??? bad your acting please ill cry
"I didn't really want to hurt anybody" his true self trying to get back cwc especially because he's farther away from the egg. I just love the transition between the guy Bad portrays who's so sure about the egg when it's in front of others and the doubts and anxiety he actually has when he's alone. Just so cool
"Did I screw up?" im just pointing out everything that moves me emotionally cause these people's acting is so cool
Ending the stream with simple black background my beloved
Okay but really I'm so so so proud of the ccs for making this happen and it's only going upwards, I'm literally so in awe, they really said go big or go home
Free space for Ant's villain speech I wasn't able to hear yet, but they said it was v cool, so I'm trusting people on this
Thank you for listening, stan Bloodvines arc /hj
If I made typos no I didn't
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youngbeezer · 3 years
Note
Holding my hand while he’s in the front seat and I’m in the back with Bowen Byram (if you can!)
hiii kelly thanks for sending me a request<33 sorry this took so long!
Referenced Post
Prompt-- 10. Holding my hand while hes in the front and I'm in the back (w Bowen Byram)
A/N: Here's another blurb from the 14 oddly romantic things blurb set. Thanks for requesting this, hope you like it :)
Word Count: 1249
Warning(s): mention of nausea, car sickness, a few curse words; Tyson Jost & Cale Makar are both mentioned (just in case you do not like them :/)
join my taglist :)
‘u okay?’
I am only able to get a quick peek at my phone to read the text message that comes from my boyfriend, who is sitting right in front of me in the passenger seat, before I feel another wave of nausea hit me. I continue doing my breathing exercises to try and calm my body down, and so I don’t make a scene in front of the other two people in the car with us.
Right now we are currently on our way to the lakehouse my brother, Tyson, rented out for the week. In the car we have Tyson driving (recklessly may I add), Bowen sitting next to him, and another one of their teammates, Cale, sitting beside me in the backseat. There are two other cars following behind us filled with some more of Tyson’s teammates and their significant others. They all figured they should have one last hoorah together before they all part ways to their respective homes for the offseason.
Now everyone on the team just expects I’m coming because Tyson is my brother and I wanted to spend more time with him. But, the actual reason is I just wanted to be able to spend some time (albeit most of it will be with others around) with my boyfriend Bowen, which no one knows is actually my boyfriend. We have both decided to keep it on the down low for a while to figure out if this is something that can potentially grow serious, before we tell my crazy overprotective brother, who will most likely throw a huge hissy fit.
I’m abruptly pulled out of my thoughts when Tys makes another sharp turn. I let out a low groan when I lurched forward as far as my seatbelt could take me, and bile started to climb up my throat. Cale notices my uncomfortable expression and gives me a worried look.
“Hey, are you alright y/n?” He cautioned, not sure what was going on.
Tyson’s eyes meet mine in the rearview mirror with a matching worried expression. Once he sees my distraught look, he looks back at me for a quick second before averting his eyes back to the road.
“y/n/n what’s up? You’re looking a little green.” Tyson commented.
“Can you pull over?” I croak out.
Tyson lets out a dramatic sigh. “C’mon we’re almost at the cabin.” He drawls out. “You’ll be fine. Just take some deep breaths.”
“Well then can you stop driving like a fucking maniac. You know I get car sick.” I snap. I see Tyson huff a little through the rearview mirror, but thankfully I do feel the car slow down a bit.
Bowen turns around in his seat to face me with a pained expression once he sees how much discomfort I am in. He tries to give me a little smile, but all he gets in return is a little shudder from me as I rest my head against the cool window.
“Here, you wanna try drinking some of my water?” He offers.
I take the bottle out of his outstretched hand and mumble out a quick, “thanks.”
As Bowen turns back in his seat, I just barely notice the slight eye roll that comes from my brother. I try not to focus too hard on what that could mean and instead focus on taking some deep breaths. Another low groan escapes my lips during a sharp turn, and that’s when I notice the hand peeking through the passenger seat and the door. I immediately go to take Bowen’s hand and instantly find comfort in his touch. His thumb rubs soothing circles onto the back of my hand that actually does wonders to calm me down.
For the rest of the car ride, Bowen and I keep our hands interlocked with each other-- him continuing to rub those soothing circles and every once in a while giving my hand a little squeeze when Tyson pushes down on the gas a little too hard, or we take an unnecessary sharp turn. And if Cale notices are conjoined hands, he doesn’t say a word.
Eventually, we made it to the cabin, surprisingly all in one piece.
“Remind me to drive back with Mikko and the others please.” I semi-jokingly say to Cale. He lets out a little chuckle, whereas Tyson just gives me a little glare from his seat.
Bowen and I finally part our hands once Tys takes the keys out of the ignition. Everyone then starts making their way out of the car, myself taking it a little bit slower so I don’t end up throwing up everywhere once my feet hit the ground.
As we are getting all the luggage out of the the trunk of the car, Tyson turns to both Bowen and I and surprises us with his next words,
“Byram, help y/n take her stuff up to your guys’ room?” Both of us raise our eyebrows and try to act confused at his words.
“Sorry?” Bowen squeaks out.
“You guys are sharing a room since you’re dating,” Tyson states matter-of-factly. “You are together, correct?” He says it so smugly, knowing that he has caught us in a lie. Obviously we weren’t as inconspicuous in our sneaking around as we thought we were. Bowen just clears his throat awkwardly before taking my bags and moving to stand next to me. I see him give me a pleading look, urging me to be the one to say something.
“How’d you know?” I questioned.
Tyson lets out a little scoff before replying, “You guys aren’t as slick as you think you are.” Out of the corner of my eye I see Cale nod his head in agreement. I meet Bowen’s eyes and let out a breathy chuckle while shaking my head.
“So you aren’t mad?” I pondered to my brother.
He let out the littlest sigh and approaches me to put his arm around my shoulder.
“Nahh. First off, you’re kinda grown up now so I can’t really tell you what to do anymore. And second,” he pauses and looks over at my boyfriend, “Byram’s a good guy, so I trust him.” They both smile at each other and do that little bro hand shake thing. Tys still has a grip on Bo's hand though when he warns, “But, if I hear a single noise come out of that room, I will beat your ass.”
Bowen clears his throat before pulling his hand away from Tyson’s and moving it to scratch the base of his neck awkwardly. “Noted.” He stutters out.
Both Tyson and Cale then leave us alone to make their way into the cabin. Bowen closes the gap between us two to bring me into a hug.
“Feeling better?” He mumbles into my hair, leaving a few kisses as he does.
I lift my head off his chest to meet his eyes and give him one of the biggest grins ever. “So much better now.” I smiled.
He gives me a quick peck on the lips, since Tyson was still in range of view. With a tiny smirk forming on his face he grinned, “Let’s go to our room then, eh?”
I grab ahold of his hand and let him lead me into the house, smiling at the fact we don’t have to sneak around anymore and I get to openly enjoy our time together with the love of my life.
This week just got a whole lot better.
Taglist: @joelsfarabees @heatherawoowoo @barzy-xoxo @barzysandmarnersbitch @hockeyplayerstories
Tagging some mutuals as well,,, @tessisawriter @luukasreichel @lovereadinghockeyy @carepriceisgoodathockey @2manytabsopen @frederikanderson @bb-nhlqueen7 @gigissports @jamiesdrysdales @heybarzy @cherrylita @cherrybarzy @prettyboyjackhughes @kentjohnsons
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babydarkstar · 3 years
Text
cacoethes
part two: bring your sweet loving 
rating: E (18+ ONLY) || pairing: ezra x f!reader || word count: 10.5k
chapter summary: as the night winds down and tensions simmer, we learn more about you, pieces of your past, and your relationship with ezra.
 warnings: ezra’s gigantic mouth that won’t shut up (suggestive language) and two criminals not knowing how to act; caretaking, i guess? reader cleans ezra but it’s nothing erotic; SMUT; handjob and graphic depictions of a glorious dick; dirty talk; dubcon maybe bc painkillers but he’s enthusiastic abt it; praise kink; switches having a great time; ezra’s subby in this but i promise he’s a dom too just not tonight; mentions of death, killing, tattoos, scars; mention of past drug use, bad coping mechanisms; mm i hc that ezra is a tiny tattoo guy so there’s that; fluff bc im sweet; author is a southern peach, forgive her if it gets a little slow and twangy up in here
a/n: un-beta’d bc mistakes are sexy. i’ll go back later and fix whatever i find but for now. enjoy. i’m literally just making shit up about this universe as we go but it’s working out for the best so bear with me. lmk if u want me to add u to be tagged here. tagging: @pedros-mustache @jk7789    
crossposted to ao3 :) || playlist || one || two || three
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Here, Cee,” you said, adjusting the threadbare blanket over your cot and splaying a hand over it while she eyed you from across the tent, still standing amongst the carnage of a violent field surgery, “I’ll sleep on the floor tonight.”
The poor girl was scared. Well—not scared, not anymore.
Vengeful, for certain, though it seemed to dwindle with every minute she watched you interact.
Definitely wary of the two of you.
Which was appropriate, given that Ezra had killed her father and left her alone on an uninhabitable moon, only to be scooped up by his partner and deceived into thinking she was safe, and then forced to perform impromptu surgery to hack off an arm. But she appeared more wary to accept help from you than wary of you.
And honestly, if Ezra hadn’t just lost a limb and you didn’t want to hover beside him after not seeing him for a month to make sure he didn’t slip the veil in his sleep or disappear beneath your fingertips—and if you weren’t trying to earn her trust, you’d have made her take the floor.
But things were different now, they might always be. She had saved his life. You owed her your cot to sleep on.
“Wait,” Ezra said, swallowing thickly as he blinked, seeming to just process the words you had spoken, “You think so little of me that I’d let you sleep on the dirt after the day you’ve had? Now, I agree that our guest should find comfort in a cot of her own, but I will not deny you the simple respite of sleep. That would prove me an unworthy companion.”
“Ezra,” you said, giving him a look of incredulity that seeped into your tone, “You can’t be serious.”
He eyed you and clenched his jaw, still stomaching the fact that he had one less limb to worry about, and a bunch more problems to deal with. It was a look that told you he was not arguing with you, you were going to sleep on the cot. He would not be coddled like a child just because he lost an arm.
Which was, in itself, ridiculous. You didn’t plan to coddle him—you weren’t the type, not really. But. He’d lost a fucking arm. But he was also still delirious from the anesthetic, so that didn’t help his desire to prove something to the universe.
“You’re taking the cot, I’m not having this conversation,” you said, wiping his sweaty brow with your sleeve, “Tap into the ruthless outlaw inside of you and take it without regret. You know I hardly sleep anyways, I’ll live without a bed for the night.”
“Then I must insist you share it with me, precious angel,” he sighed, and you could almost see the cogs in his head turning as his distant gaze darkened into something hungry, “I’ve longed to feel your body pressed against mine since I left with Number Two. The divinity of your skin.” He hummed, eyes fluttering shut, “More…more precious than the ore we risk our lives for. Sweeter than fruit. Fresher than a rainstorm.”
“Ez,” you warned, snapping a glare at him.
“Your body…so tender, warm,” he continued, entranced in his own fantasy, not even hearing you when you warned him yet again, “All soft and pliant beneath my touch. It has been far too long since we partook in a pleasure as indulgent as one another—before our partnership with Two, if I can recall. Grant me heaven tonight. I deserve the satisfaction of watching you drip honey for me—”
“Hey! None of that,” you snapped, cocking an eyebrow—and fighting the flutter in your chest and the heat tingling down your core, “There are young ears present, Shakespeare Erotica. Not to mention young eyes.”
You would do no such thing with him as long as this teenager remained in close quarters and under your care. He turned to look at Cee, as if he’d forgotten all about her for a moment. Or maybe it was that he didn’t care. Bastard.
“I’m okay as long as you guys don’t fuck in front of me,” Cee sighed, resigned to have dealt with too much in her past to be worried about flirting—no, verbal-fucking.
“We won’t be doing any of that,” you assured her, giving Ezra another pointed look before slinging his arm around your shoulders and helping him to the cot. He grumbled incoherently, moaning and groaning the few steps it took to ease him down into the squeaky frame.
When you finally got him down—forced him to lay down—he let out another soft whimper of pain, followed by your name. “Don’t go.”
Brushing the hair off his sweaty forehead, you bent down to press a kiss there, “M’right here, Ez. Rest. I’m gonna clean you up, okay?”
It was the least you could do—and that way you could take inventory of every inch of him to ensure he didn’t have any other wounds hiding and festering and threatening his life. Just as this wouldn’t be your first time tending to him while he laid incapacitated, he’d done the same for you plenty of times. There was very little, if anything at all, the two of you hadn’t seen of each other. Vulnerability had another name here: normalcy.
“After—” he rasped up at you, coughing and then righting himself, “After we find our way off this Kevva-damned moon—which we will—I understand if you no longer deem me…worthy of your affections. It’s the only explanation I can find for your denial of my offer to dote on you. I only pray you make good on your long-standing promise to drop me where I stand should I ever disappoint you, dear heart of mine.”
Okay, you didn’t know where all the insecurity and sentiment was coming from, especially hearing it from the mouth of your dear old confident mean-streak Ezra, but he couldn’t possibly be serious. It made you ache to think that he didn’t trust you to stay with him, that he viewed himself as lesser because he lost his arm. Well, he was lesser, but only by mass.
Also, really? The only explanation he could find for you not wanting to sleep with him was that you hated him and didn’t want him because of his injury? He couldn’t think of any more glaringly obvious reasons, those of which had just been pointed out to him?
With a sigh, you brushed your thumb across the silvery scar on his cheek, “Rest now, chatterbox. I’ll be here when you wake up—and every morning after, for as long as I can. Only death could pry you from me, and me from you. You’ve got me, forever….I still see you as you are—a hundred percent you, a hundred percent mine.”
The words felt foreign on your lips, but he was bound to forget them the moment he fell asleep, so you didn’t feel as weird waxing poetic right back at him. The man had rubbed off on you in more ways than one. You normally didn’t speak to one another so frankly—at least, you didn’t, given the nature of what it meant to care out here and how you’d already unofficially established that you two were something more—but tonight you couldn’t fucking help it.
Ezra leaned into your touch, pawing at it with his hand, grabbing onto your fingers and kissing into your palm. A dull smile poked at his mouth and he let it engulf him. “Quite the charmer you are, siren.”
You didn’t respond, only half-smiled and wriggled—reluctantly—from his grasp to grab a few clean cloths and fill a bucket with water. After squirting the sanitizing solution in the water, you simmered the lights down to the lowest setting, to where your eyes had to adjust for a moment before you could make your way across the tent. His gaze bore into you—no, both Ezra and Cee watched every move you made; one in lazy admiration and the other in curiosity.
“Do you need me to put a drape over the post? I’m strippin’ him,” you asked Cee as you slung Ezra’s clean shirt from off the drying line onto your shoulder—you smiled at the floor, thanking yourself from hours ago for deciding not to burn it. You grabbed the bucket and tottered over to him, nodding at him to scoot. He obliged, giving you room to sit by his hip so you could ease his clothes off.
Cee shook her head when you looked to her for a response, opting to sit on your cot facing away from you with her nose in her book, so you shrugged and tugged the fabric off of Ezra in slow, deliberate motions, wincing every time he grunted.
As you took the time to clean off the grime and dirt and sweat of the Green, he told you about running into Cee and her father Damon; how he tried to take his entire harvest from the few cycles he’d spent with Two; about Two’s untimely, irrational outburst that cost them their life. About the Queen’s Lair and the mercs, and the plan to ravage and plunder and take it all for themselves. You thought the Queen’s Lair was a rumor. Not even a rumor—a myth, a legend, something fabricated by desperate fools with hazy minds of dust and their eyes set on fortune. But Ezra told you he’d seen part of it marked on Cee’s map, that her father was contracted to help extract the deposit. Cee even pulled her map out to point to the marked areas, albeit with clinical movements and short words.
So you made a plan to head out at first light, with the trip taking most of the daylight, and they’d be cutting it close but there was no way you’d let Ezra hike so many klicks in his state—not without a few hours’ rest first.
After you’d managed to clean his legs, his hips, his feet and get him into something more comfortable than compression pants, you moved to his torso and traced over each scar marring his skin, each jagged edge where something hadn’t healed right or wasn’t stitched properly. He’d lost some weight under the harsh conditions of the Green—you both had. But he still held onto muscle from the toil that came with survival on such harsh terrain; and he was naturally broad, he always would be, which made him sturdy.
Your fingers ghosted over a few microtattoos he’d gotten; one beneath his ribcage, one on his hipbone, and the one you’d given him yourself on his lower sternum. That one, as you brushed over it with a wet cloth, never failed to make you smile. A sad smile, but a smile nonetheless.
A tiny, unfilled heart, a mere outline, barely a centimeter in size. It was messy, simple, done in minutes. But it meant something, meant exactly what you’d never quite been able to voice.
My heart is yours. Take it.
You’d done it one night when the two of you had gone on a two spin bender, which happened more towards the end of your glory days, when the drugs came easy and heavy and the illusion of time slipped by like sand on the wind.
Any time someone hired your services as cleaners, it took a toll. They didn’t do it often because of that, but the payout was worth the work. No matter how many times you swore you would never do it again, you went back. Because it was hard to ignore the way it felt to flood a deserving someone’s mouth with the taste of their own blood, or to slip a knife in between their ribs and let it slide like butter and watch the light die. It was hard to ignore that you liked it, especially when it was so violent—one of the worst sins to commit, and you enjoyed it.
The act of killing had become cathartic for you. It made you feel more alive, reminded you that you had a beating, bloody heart, and a brain, and veins that pumped blood, and muscles that tore apart and rebuilt themselves stronger. Killing came easy when you didn’t know the target. It felt like a game.
Ezra didn’t enjoy it as much as you did—not to say he didn’t enjoy it at all, for he most certainly did. But he didn’t process it the same way you did. He saw killing as a means to survive and a means to get where he needed to go. He enjoyed turning it into a game, making fun out of whatever circumstance presented itself.
But that one—the last one—it had gone wrong. Messy, slow, noisy, choppy. There was only supposed to be one person in the house: typical target, a man who owed the wrong people a whole lot of money and refused to pay up.
One man.
One man was all you’d expected.
One man was all you’d been instructed would be in the condo.
He went down easy enough, quiet enough—Ezra snuffed him and stuffed him and you’d made to transfer his points into the right pockets.
And that was that.
They had tossed the bodybag over the high-rise balcony and into the pits of the bottomless highway next to the building, with a blinker-bomb inside just in case.
That was that.
Except it wasn’t, it was so fucking far from it.
Ezra, being himself, had wanted so bad to sneak in a quickie before heading back—an unholy, immoral ritual you two had initiated, to fuck where you killed—and who were you to protest? Who were you to say no to pretty words and soft eyes glittering with an untamed wild? To say no to the hands that already ripped at gear and pushed beneath underwear just to get a taste—you couldn’t, it was impossible.
Fresh off a high of adrenaline, pulsing with nervous energy—he was always so good, he always got you right where you needed and then that much further.
And Ezra—being himself—could not keep his fucking mouth shut. The stereotype about men holding in their moans, about them never whimpering or whining or groaning or grunting—yeah, that was a load of Bearkie-shit.
Maybe it held true for some men, but.
Not your Ezra. Not even a little bit.
He talked like heaven’s mouthpiece—or maybe the devil, given all the sinful things he’d whisper to you in the crux of any given night. He let loose whatever noise he deemed necessary to make.
They’d only just made it to the dried, bloody stain on the carpet (a bed on which to copulate), knocking over a floating hilolamp and pulling a chuckle from your paramour, when a shout rang through the apartment and shattered your moment into a thousand pieces.
It was only supposed to be one. One man.
Instead, you were met with another man who you’d later learn to be his brother, the target’s mother, and his pregnant wife.
The man held onto some type of curved sports bat, keeping it up threateningly as if warning you of something imposing. Ezra didn’t hesitate to shoot him in the head, not even bothering to get up from where he’d pressed his hips between your legs. But then you’d had to go and check the other rooms, effectively killing any mood the two of you had shared.
Because fuck, where the men had no fight in them, the women wouldn’t go down without a struggle. Or maybe it was that you pitied them, and it distracted you. They’d already peeked their heads out from behind the door of the master bedroom, worried and doe-eyed and determined.
Maybe if they hadn’t seen your faces—if they’d still been asleep while you swept for warm bodies after the first assailant—maybe they’d have gotten out with their lives. But who were you kidding? You killed without thought. You’d likely have put a pillow over their heads before aiming your thrower and firing twice for good measure, had you been sharp and not distracted by a tongue in your mouth.
Instead, Ezra had the audacity to try to bargain with them. Something about having a soft spot for mothers—his own having been a beacon in his life until she left him orphaned as a young boy. He made it a point not to kill women and children. It was one thing in which he remained unwavering. (He’d kill a grown woman if she gave him reason to, like he had on Exon-5, but that was another story for another time, and a different circumstance which called for such measures, namely that of protecting you.) But he should have known better, he should have known not to try something like that. He should’ve known that he’d have to let go of the final shred of morality he held onto.
So Ezra took down the old woman in a way you still have yet to ask about and don’t care to know; and you’d ended with the pregnant woman choking on her own blood when you twisted your knife into the dip of her throat—and you felt awful about it after watching her crumble beneath you, but she’d hit you upside the head with a thick textbook of outdated skimmer-craft modules and it made you see red among pinpricks of stars.
And that night, after all was said and done they’d spent a fortune on getting high—just to forget, just to be okay.
That night they’d locked themselves in a self-imposed prison of satin sheets and destructive tendencies. Two days buzzing with no food, little water, just him and you and needles and spoons and eyedroppers and blades and pills. Like you couldn’t breathe if he didn’t fill you with all of him, you wouldn’t be able to stand upright if he took his hands off you and stopped letting you flood your veins with a chemical glow. Heavy eyelids, messy sex, raw arms and red eyes.
It felt fucking awful, coping that way, but it felt too fucking good and it made you forget about the lives you’d taken in (somewhat) cold blood.
So after sprawling beside him on the gigantic plush bed with his hand ghosting over your spine, you’d found a part of yourself snagged at the corner of this wild-eyed man’s tar-black soul, and you had thought about what could have happened in an alternate universe.
A moment when he was the target, you were (somehow) the pregnant wife, and you watched him die before succumbing to the dark of your own soul escaping you. And it made you desperate to cling to him as he was in the moment, desperate to know that he was yours and you were his. It was then that you’d asked him if you could mark him. Claim him, to know that he wouldn’t leave you like that, and if he did, he’d have a piece of you everywhere. He’d go down with a piece of you.
Ezra had been delighted, of course, as he was always one for symbolism and deeper meaning even if he didn’t quite understand the rhetoric. And it wasn’t the first time you’d marked each other, just a different time with a different meaning. So he let you dip a sterile needle in ink and plunge it into the tender skin of his chest.
You had one too, a heart on your sternum. Nestled between your breasts, just close enough to your heart to feel like it mattered, like it meant that he felt the same. But you didn’t even let yourself go that far—you two were doped up and delirious and he enjoyed marking you in any way he could, so an opportunity to stick and poke his way further into your skin than he already had was an opportunity he could not pass up. At least, that was how you saw it. Nevertheless, it made you happy to see it there on his chest, and to have one that matched.
Ezra’s soft voice snapped you from the memory.
“What’s crossed your mind to make you so delicate in your touch, so solemn in your stare?”
You realized you had stopped your ministrations and had planted your palm on his chest, staring just over his shoulder and onto the canvas beside him. With a careful hand, you resumed gentle motion over his pecs, up his clavicle, his throat.
“Thinking about Beta-Mobilia,” you whispered, unable to meet his eye, “And after.”
“Mm,” he grunted in recognition, the vibration tickling your fingertips, “Regrettable night. Unavoidable, necessary. But I dwell in shame identical to yours.”
“I don’t deserve to be here after that. I didn’t deserve to live after the Exons, The Grime. Why am I still alive?”
“We’ve discussed this in great length by now, siren. Don’t doubt your existence. It’s beyond sense, beyond comprehension.”
You nodded, still unable to look at him. But then he latched onto your wrist, brushing his calloused thumb over the delicate skin there, and this time you couldn’t keep your gaze away from the soft smile that begged to form on his lips.
“And I appreciate your tender care, wildfire,” he hummed, eyes glittering up at you like two dark pools of amber, “Where would I be without it? Mmm…mhm. Dead, likely. Or bitter. Wicked with taciturn rage. No meaning could come from that.”
“You, bitter and unspeaking? Unthinkable, I’d sooner pronounce you dead,” you drawled, thankful for his kindness to grant distraction, and he granted you an eye-roll. But his expression softened when you sat him upright and maneuvered behind him, wiping down his back in gentle strokes. You folded the cloth over once the side turned brown with grime, and moved up to his neck, scrubbing over his shoulders and giving short strokes down his nape and behind his ears.
“So you planned to go ravage the Queen without me, huh?” you asked quietly, irked that he hadn’t even come to find you before setting out on that venture, “Planned to leave me to rot on the Green, take the money for yourself and steal away with the girl.”
Ezra sighed, and you could see from behind his shoulder how he worked his jaw, formulating what to say.
“Understand that I do nothing without you willingly. Birdie over there’s about as fleeting as a real one. But trust that I planned to come get you—I’d never leave you stranded. I just couldn’t introduce another person into the threadbare alliance I had forged until the time was right.”
“She likes me,” you countered, smiling over at Cee, who now laid with her back facing you as her ribs contracted with the first breaths of sleep. A sign of trust. You didn’t know when exactly you’d earned it, but you’d accept it nonetheless. She had also taken both of your throwers (something you protested and Ezra waved off), so maybe that helped.
“No doubt—there’s plenty to like about you.”
Ever the flatterer, even when delirious with pain.
With a coy smile, you scrubbed over his head and then his face, careful to avoid his snapping mouth that reached out ever so often to nip at your hand—there was that playfulness, the natural effervescence of his presence. When you decided your work was done, you eased him back down on the cot and he allowed it with no protest.
You fluffed his pillow and moved the book you’d stashed beside it. He turned his head and pressed his nose to the pillow, grunting in mild appreciation.
“Smells like you down here,” he remarked with a half-smile, eyes drooping, “You sleep on my cot while I was away?”
“I missed you,” you whispered, nodding, just now aware of how much his presence affected you. To think that you had resolved to try to move on without him—it seemed ridiculous now.
“I missed you,” he returned, “You haven’t the slightest idea how much I wanted you beside me. Number Two was a fond ally but not a companion. Nothing like the banter we exchange, nor the secrets we share.”
“They never talked. I imagine your time away was just as lonely as mine.”
“Absolutely. I regret agreeing to leave with Two. But you know we couldn’t have trusted them to stay at camp while we went off—not absolutely. Not when they’d never spoken a word,” he chuckled and then coughed, a quiet rumble you felt against your leg as it zigzagged through his chest.
Thank Kevva you had a plan to leave now. The spent filter had taken a toll on Ezra—and it wasn’t even his to begin with. He insisted on giving you his when the one your new suit came with was almost completely used up.
Fuck the man for caring about you; he’d gone soft during your time on the Green, and you hated how much you loved it. Hated it because he needed to focus on himself, needed to stop putting you before him. Hated it because every day it made you feel like somehow, he loved you back. That somehow, he thought of you as more than just a constant in his life, more than a body to fuck and a brain to pick.
You’d grown used to each other. But his unpredictability oozed into every aspect of himself, every nook and cranny of his life, and you were too worried about fucking up a good thing over a simple conversation. All it took was one sensitive topic breached and you’d surely find yourself shit out of luck. He was all you had left of the scraps of a fucked up life. Without him, you’d make do but not without a struggle and not without reluctance. Some part of you knew he’d be the same even if he initiated a split.
The thought had you hurrying to tug his shirt on before gathering the cloths and scurrying to place the bucket near the front of the tent.
And you shouldn’t have been so scared to be honest with him—the two of you rarely kept things to yourselves. But to love someone so fully within your heart, to never want to be away from them, to never grow tired of their presence no matter how tedious they may be or frustrating they could get, it scared you.
“A kiss for the wounded?” Ezra asked, brown eyes wide and mouth pouty enough to break you from your racing mind. You softened then, padding back over to him on tiptoe and settling back at his side for a brief moment.
With a gentle smile, you leaned down to grant him a kiss to his lips—the first one you’d shared with him in fuck knows how long. Too long, that was for sure, because when your lips notched with his chapped ones you melted, every worry and every qualm simply washed away in a swirl of pink pleasure.
You couldn’t help yourself—an indulgent, quiet moan pooled in your chest and slipped from your throat before you could stop it, and he hummed right back when his tongue pushed between your lips and you let him devour you. Always the ravager, ever a greedy bastard when it came to his pleasure, he licked up into your mouth and tangled his tongue with yours. It took very little for you to melt right into his chest, pressing your own against him and whimpering when he sneaked his hand up the hem of your shirt to rub circles over the skin of your back. You remained sloppy and almost lazy but intentional as you held either side of his nape and toyed with the strands of his still-damp hair, pouring yourself into this kiss like you’d never kiss him again.
Fuck. Fuck, you wanted him so bad. You missed this man with every vibrating inch of you. You missed his body, you missed his voice calling to you from the very depths of himself, you missed everything about him, and you needed him as close as possible. Closer than close, you needed him.
But fuck. You couldn’t. When you pulled back for air, it didn’t surprise you when he pressed his palm flat on your back to keep you from moving too far.
“Mm, baby—you’re divine. I ache for you,” he all but whimpered into your mouth, breath brutally hot and heavy as he fed you his soul, “Come sit down on me—come take what’s yours. I want to feel you strangle me, show me just how much you—”
“No, Ez,” you cut him off in a biting whisper, lips kiss-swollen, hating how, if there had been literally any other person in the tent beside you, you might’ve taken him up on the offer, “I want to, I promise you that. But she’s a kid and I have limits—one of those limits is fucking in the same room as one.” You glared at him with half a heart, then leaned down to run the tip of your nose along the curve of his ear, smiling when he shivered, “I swear, once we get out of here I’ll make it up to you so many times you’ll forget your own name. You get first choice—however you want me, I’m yours to take.”
“Fuck—alright, I apologize for my eagerness,” he smiled, tilting his head to kiss your forehead.
“But,” you whispered, your heart racing as you glanced over to be sure Cee had fallen asleep before inching up to look back into his eyes. Fuck it, he deserved it. “If you stay quiet, I’ll take care of you right now.”
His eyebrows raised in deft interest at your offer.
“Will you let me take care of you, Sailor?”
Ezra would never admit it, and you’d never tease him about it because it made you feel some kind of way—but he fucking adored when you used his callsign. You were his siren, after all. Only made sense for him to draw to you like a dying man at sea when you called for him. You used it rarely aside from in the field, opting for your preferred chatterbox—because he was more that than anything else—so it came as a treat when you decided to pull it from your bag of tricks.
“I can hardly refuse such a tempting offer.”
“Quiet, though,” you reminded him, tiptoeing your fingers across his chest and tugging the waistband of his pants and his underwear down. Just enough to spring his cock free, which was already hard and leaking for you.
Fuck, he was such a gorgeous sight, and you couldn’t help the urge to cup his balls and nudge them free too, to admire every glorious inch of him.
Spreading your fingers out over his groin through the coarse curls gone wild with mistreatment, you paid extra attention to the white patch of hair ghosting over the base of his cock and spreading out near his abdomen before stopping abruptly on the left and diverging back down into dark brown. You remember when you’d first noticed it and had all but squealed in delight.
Every bit of him was a pleasant surprise, just as you’d found yourself more than eager to let him ruin you for anybody else with the sheer size of him.
Nobody fucked you like they were dying and you were salvation; nobody but him. And shit, did he tear you open. As if he’d carved a space inside of you just for him, each time he’d leave you with a hollow ache that only he could sate.
“Baby,” you purred in a whisper, kissing his hipbone and then leaning up to wrap your hand around the girth of him, rubbing your thumb over the weeping red of the head, “You’re so pretty for me like this.” Forever a glutton for compliments, he whimpered his soft appreciation and you hushed him accordingly. He was so thick, so big that you struggled to touch the tip of your middle finger to your thumb, so long that if you had planned to swallow him down tonight, you would’ve been needing your hand to help. But tonight you could not risk the absolutely filthy noise of you gagging on him; he’d likely cum faster and in less time to worry about waking up a certain tentmate, but you wanted to watch every muscle in his face twitch, wanted to see him take his pleasure unobstructed by your tears. This way was quieter.
So with that thought in mind, you shifted to straddle one of his thighs so you could watch him without tiring your hand in an awkward position. Then you let a string of spit drool down and over him and you gave him a twist and then more, sharp and sudden and fast in your movements as opposed to the slow, appreciative way you’d unsheathed him.
Ezra hissed out a curse, bucking up into your hand, “Shit, darlin’—“
Arching an eyebrow, you halted your work on him immediately. His pulse beat through the throbbing vein jutting out
“What did I tell you?” you snapped. With your free hand you reached up and wrapped your fingers around his neck, feeling the column of his throat contracting as he swallowed. Wide brown eyes looked up at you, a tinge of amusement in their stare.
“Are you gonna be good for me?” you asked in a low rasp, tightening your grip on his neck and giving him a little shake before going slack again, “I don’t wanna hear a single word come outta that pretty-boy mouth. If I do, I’m blue-balling you. Fair?”
Ezra nodded, his gorgeous fat mouth blessedly shut for once.
“Good boy,” you cooed, kissing him before forcing his jaw open and spitting in his mouth. It would’ve been cruel but you meant it so affectionately, and his gentle moan told you he was more than willing to accept it.
You felt his cock twitch beneath your fingers and you simpered, giving a little shimmy of your shoulders in appreciation.
Controlling this stubborn man, resorting him to silence made you feel powerful. It made you feel respected, worshipped; if the man who never shut up and always called the shots would gladly take the backseat and grant you the power to take charge, that meant more than you could wish for.
So you resumed pumping his cock, working him with both hands and then switching to hold onto his throat again before going back to two hands. The act still made quite some noise—filthy and wet and sloppy—but at this point you were less concerned about it than you had been prior. When you decided, despite his tip dripping precum, to spit down onto him again for the fun of it and twist him with a gentle tug, he couldn’t stop the whine that left him even with his bottom lip pulled between his teeth. It had you darting to clamp over his mouth, shooting daggers down at him as he stared up with a silent apology in his eyes, one you might have taken as genuine if not for the way the brown of his irises had disappeared into black, blown out with lust and glassy with pleasure.
“If you’re gonna cum, let me know so you can do it in my mouth. I just cleaned you up and I’m not doing it again.”
The last bit came out harsher than you meant but he took it all the same, biting back a grunt in the form of a sharp exhale as he twitched violently in your hand. Yeah, he didn’t really need to let you know when he was about to blow; you knew him too well. At that, you took it upon yourself to remove your hand from his mouth in favor of scooting to lean down and put your mouth over his angry, swollen tip, flinching at the way the frame creaked but ignoring it and opting to swirl your tongue over him instead.
“There it is,” you whispered with an arguably evil smile—quickly, before pulling him back into the heat of your mouth, resuming your work and grunting when he bucked up into your mouth, chasing the high you were drawing out of him.
Ezra came with a muffled, broken sob, his face buried in his arm as he bit down on his bicep, flexing and squeezing his fingers. A thick stream of his cum hit the roof of your mouth and you indulged him, taking him in further so you could swallow everything he gave you. Ropes and ropes and ropes of cum, like he hadn’t let himself get off in so long, like he’d been saving all of it for you. The thought made you whine around him, and you pulled off when he finished, flashing him your dripping tongue with his spend still on it and drawing it back in before any of it could spill.
“Holy fuck, baby,” he sighed, letting out a quiet, breathy laugh as he tugged on the front of your shirt to kiss you, tasting himself on your tongue.
This time when you pulled back and smiled, you granted him a toothy grin, goofy and knowing. It took you a minute not to giggle like a little kid as you carded your fingers through his hair. He grinned right back, still catching his breath. To you, he was gorgeous, inside and out, flaws and all. You wanted to fuck him right then. You wanted to make love to him, to let him fill you entirely and to sob into his mouth, showing him everything you couldn’t tell him.
“Get some sleep,” you settled on instead, slipping off the cot with little grace after replacing the waistband of his pants, “We head out early tomorrow.”
“Hey now, what about you?” Ezra asked, brows drawn together in concern that you wouldn’t find the same enjoyment he did.
“You’ll just owe me.” You winked then, and gave him one last kiss, which he hummed into with a great appreciative rumble.
Then you pressed your forehead into his, “Mine—you’re mine. Never leave me again or I’ll hunt you down and kill you myself. You’re everything.”
Because he was.
“Nothing without you.”
That was his response, always always always. To hear it again pricked tears in your eyes, so much so you squeezed them shut.
And once again, you caught yourself wanting to say it. This time it had ghosted in your throat, almost making it into the curve of your mouth for you to hold its shape and give voice to a thought. But you stopped it before it could get far. Those three words, the same ones that now haunted you since you’d decided to indulge in every reminiscence involving them. Somehow he had come back to you, a feat which could not be commended enough, but now you ached for him—yearned for him even stronger than if he had well and truly died.
As you settled down onto the floor beside him, those three torturous words surfaced into a memory. The one that, among other fears, made you ever so hesitant to admit just how much you loved him.
————————————
“—In that vein, I don’t find myself in particular need of a great, star-shattering love story. If love is all-encompassing, I can do without the obstacle. Romanticizing my life and its quarrels is satisfaction enough.”
You didn’t know why you were still listening. You just knew that if Ezra kept it up, you’d find a way out of this cell just to break into his and strangle him. Anything to get him to shut the hell up. Banging your head methodically against the wall that separated the two of you, you didn’t even try to hold back your groan of displeasure as he rambled on.
“Now, don’t doubt my skill in worship. I have plenty of practice in the art of copulation”—you could hear the shit-eating grin on his face—“To say I haven’t affixed my interests on one soul or another at some point in time would ordain me a liar. I simply prefer to remain lovers in action…and not in name nor feeling. Companionship…yes, it’s something we all yearn for. It can’t be helped. A warm body, a brain to pick. All wonderful facets to enjoy for the sake of one’s own baser desiderata. But—“
“Shut up,” you bit out through gritted teeth, tugging at the roots of your hair when he kept going and you had to repeat yourself, “Shut up, you goddamned chatterbox. I don’t give a fuck about your love life. Why are you even talking about this?”
A brief silence occupied the space, as if he was thoroughly perplexed by your outburst. Then he let out a huffed laugh, amused.
“You inquired about the specifics of my occupation, little thorn.”
Every time he used that nickname for you—the thorn in my side—it made you bristle. Especially when he used it almost affectionately, soothingly, full of calm and charm that had you balling your fists and pricking the skin of your palms with your fingernails. You despised him, and he treated your existence as a joke, or as a little pet he would grab from its cage and admire before tossing it back and neglecting it until he deemed its presence acceptable again. Everything was funny. Everything could be laughed at. Sometimes you didn’t mind when the guards came to beat him bloody; it made him shut up, whether from pain or because he had passed out.
“Prospecting has nothing to do with love,” you snapped, shoulders tense despite the ache in your body. If these fuckers holding you captive didn’t kill you, the stress of surviving next to this fucker surely would.
“No, it doesn’t,” he agreed, suddenly serious, “Love for others, at least. Love for the dig, love for the hunt and the adventure—that’s a different narrative altogether. Which is why I deemed it appropriate to explain such measures. The lifestyle I settled for is no small undertaking. It comes with sacrifice.”
His condescension was unintentional but still stabbed and poked at you like keepers at a circus.
————————————
It comes with sacrifice. That it did.
That long-ago night haunted you to this day.
But Ezra had his mind focused on softer dreams as he broke you from your self-destruction once more.
“Nights like these make me keen to hear you sing for me again,” he lilted out through the dark, a reminiscent simper pulling at his mouth and crinkling his eyes as he shifted to look down at you, “The melody of your voice haunts the halls of my midnight reveries. But it is such a sweet possession—as though I willed a ghost to enchant me with her gift. A siren indeed. Lure me into the sea of your deception, try to pull me under like the rest of them. But not me. No…not me—I float like driftwood in the breeze…follow the tides of your affection. Somehow I remain unscathed, and you lap at me in gentle waves.”
“Such powerful words from a man who should be asleep,” you chuckled quietly, pressing your lips to the back of his hand where you held onto it now, fingers laced.
“I am but a vendor of poetry. And you, a weaver of melody. Sing for me, siren,” he murmured, his voice thick with the drowsy pull of lassitude. He hadn’t asked that of you in so long you had almost forgotten what it felt like to hear it. Almost. And you would have agreed to it, but—
“No, the girl, she—“
“I don’t mind,” Cee interrupted, quiet and soft. It surprised you; you thought she had fallen asleep—you didn’t want to wake her with your singing. And then you were—
Shit. You sincerely hoped she had just woken up due to Ezra’s long-winded soliloquy about your singing, and hadn’t heard anything else beyond that. Mm, no. You think she would’ve said something about how fucking gross it was. Or pulled a thrower on you.
“As well you shouldn’t,” Ezra chuckled, turning his head to grin at the girl where she had turned to face him on the opposite cot, “She sings like Kevva strung her throat with gold. Or the very strings of a harp.”
You blushed and ducked your head into your shoulder, embarrassed by his flattery. Looked to him and found his honey-dark eyes drinking you in from above, the ghost of a smile on his lips as he flattened his palm over your chest and rubbed it affectionately. “What would you like to hear?” you asked, running a hand over your hair and shifting on the floor to calm your nerves.
It was just Ez.
…and a girl who harbored a teen angst bigger than ten moons; fuck if you wanted her to judge you.
“Whatever tickles your fancy,” he replied, his grin wider now that you’d agreed, “You know I’m not particular to any one hymn—I find myself enraptured by it all.”
“Okay.” You pondered for a moment before settling on one of your favorites.
Then you sang.
Quietly, nervously at first in an unpracticed rasp, then growing more steady and mellow and soft.
Some swirling folk melody from your childhood in your native tongue, one you’d never forget even if someday you lost your memory. A lullaby for village children; a lilting work song for the women to hum when laundering clothes at the stream, soothing the babies strapped to their backs or their chests or both.
It told the story of a curious young girl who loved the stillness of the ocean, found peace in its silky depths. She liked the silence so much that she would spend hours beneath the water, training to hold her breath and exploring the creatures of the reef and listening to the wavering silence.
Until one humming summer night she swam so deep the water turned black. She was scared she wouldn’t be able find her way back home but she reveled in the quiet—the quiet that not even the nighttime forest could provide, nor the village when the hunters and scavengers left for work. It was then that she saw a light shining from the deep, and decided to chase it.
Down, down, down.
And down. Until the light became so bright it surrounded her, seeped into her until she did not know where she began and it ended. No pain, no fear surrounded her. Just a sense of calm, and peace.
And she became the moon, the biggest one in the sky. The silence up there was incomparable.
The song was meant as a warning to the village children not to wander too far from the town and somehow find themselves in the cove breaching the outer mountain range. A warning to stay away, else you’d become one of the many moons in the sky, never to return to your family and the life you loved.
But you’d always found it more compelling than that, more meaningful, because the story originated from a similar legend of the moon goddess your village worshipped, the deity of the biggest satellite in your skies. The minor difference came in the detail that she chose to become the Great Moon after divine conversation instead of chasing a light down into the deep on a whim. And there was a ceremony held to initiate her transition into a celestial body.
When you’d wrapped up the lullaby you found yourself more at peace than you’d felt in a long time. You didn’t like to think about your planet, nor your village, nor the tragedies that occurred there. But this memory was a happy one, filled with sleepy eyes and chubby fingers grabbing onto mothers’ cloaks, and getting tucked into warm soft blankets by a fireplace.
“Sweet siren,” Ezra whispered in a drowsy slur, giving your hand a gentle squeeze as he turned to rest on his back, “Never fail to soothe me even when ’m in utmost anguish.”
And with that, he left you in silence, and you knew he wasn’t far from sleep.
By the time his breath evened out, you felt your eyes drooping.
Fuck, you were exhausted.
This spin had been arguably more eventful than any you’d had in a long while, and it didn’t occur to you that you could be tired when you’d hardly done much until the action rolled in.
The floor was actually not half bad, given that you laid on the tarp that absorbed heat but quickly cooled when you moved. The nights here got cold, surprisingly. But Ezra’s hand hanging down and resting across your chest felt so good. The weight of him, the heat of him, it grounded you. You circled patterns into his upturned palm until you became too sleepy for that, settling on threading your fingers with his and feeling his pulse beneath your fingertips.
How dare he think you’d care for him less with only one arm? If anything, it showed his perseverance, his will to move forward and make hard decisions. Only something a man with determination could do.
He felt so warm and sure—steady. He was safe now that he had come back. You felt the inky black of sleep begin to wash over you as organized thought became jumbled feeling.
You didn’t have to worry anymore, not about his whereabouts. Everything was alright. It was as good as it had been in quite a while.
Everything would be alright, you could just…
Just…
“I wish my parents had loved each other like that,” Cee murmured in the quiet dark of the tent, rendering you wide awake with a jolt, as if someone had plunged a shot of adrenaline into your chest.
“They separate?” you managed, knowing it came out strange but not wanting to confirm or deny anything about you and Ezra. The silence that greeted you implied that she had had no intention of you hearing it. But she spoke regardless.
“No,” she scoffed, then went quiet for a moment, “My mom died when I was little. And I can’t remember what they were like together. We were always working so there wasn’t a lot of time for love between them.”  
Oh. An orphan. It softened you a little more for her, made you more sympathetic to the fact that Ezra had killed her last living parent. You were an orphan too. So was he.
“We’re all missing parts of our family in some way or another. People with worldly attachments don’t usually sign up for this level of intensity. Not the strays, anyhow.”
“But you have each other,” she insisted.
“By chance alone. We didn’t start off liking each other. And we’re not…married, or anything.”
The last bit came out strangled—you’d never…said something like that aloud.
You and Ezra, married? It was odd, to say the least. You never thought of yourself as one to desire marriage in any respect—ceremonial, legal, the like. It just didn’t sit well with you. Too many complications, a lot of governing body involvement that you didn’t care for.
And Ezra…he wasn’t too fond of it either. But not because he didn’t want it, that much he’d admitted to you one night after admitting the complications of his feelings on his love life, ones that somewhat contradicted the first time he told you about it all; he couldn’t have it, he’d never let himself believe even a fraction of him deserved it. The life of a floater—and sure, just as Cee’s parents had prospected and been married (you assumed) and had a kid, many others did the same. But then you supposed it ended with kids like Cee, and she was lucky to not lay dead next to her idiot father, or trapped and sold as a body in the Dark-Spawn Trades. Lucky Ezra wasn’t filthy and depraved, lucky you were once young and scared like her and so took it upon yourself to keep her in your sights for now.
“How’d you meet?”
A chuckle bubbled out of you as you sat up and ran your fingers through Ezra’s hair, watching his chest rise and fall in even strokes, thinking back on that night so long ago.
“Stealing supplies from the same drop company. Two feral dogs fighting over who deserved it more. We bickered and threatened so much we lost track of time and made a mess and a ruckus and got caught.” A smile threatened to break your features and you let it, for just a moment. It faded as you recalled your awful encounter, “Captured, tortured for information because they thought we worked for a rival mining company. They wanted the locations of dig-sites we didn’t have, mining techniques we didn’t know. When he brought up the Wastes earlier…that’s what he meant. Surprised we didn’t die, but they really thought we were valuable or something.”
You gave yourself a minute before continuing. In a panic, you rubbed circles over the tattoo on the web of Ezra’s hand between his thumb and forefinger, trying to ground yourself as wicked, blood-specked memories flooded your head.
Deep breath. You’re safe, he’s here. This will be good to get off your chest. You’ve never spelled it out to anyone before. Nobody’s ever asked. Maybe this girl is a gift from the universe, maybe she was sent here to give you space to heal. Deep breath. You’re safe. He’s here.
You eventually pressed the back of his limp hand to your cheek, and found your voice once more. You didn’t need to worry about waking him; once he conked out into REM sleep it took a freight train to wake him up. At least, when he was with you he always slept deeper. He’d told you one night; how it helped to have you there, like you dragged all the bad memories and nightmares away, pulling them so far out of reach he only found thoughtless, worry-free sleep.
“Hearing someone’s screams from the other side of a cell wall makes you more susceptible to care about them. A bonding experience, so to speak. He’d talk to me for hours on the nights they made us sit and anticipate another session. Recited poetry, recalled stories from his time as a prospector as an escape from our reality. I would sing for him, when we knew the guards had left. It was how we got to know each other. It’s—that’s why he calls me his siren. The reason I call him a chatterbox, among other obvious explanation.”
“How’d you get out?” Cee asked, resting her cheek on her hands as she laid on her side, watching you with keen interest.
“Killed them,” you rasped, not wanting to go into the gory details, “Every single one.”
For nights you had laid awake, haunted by memories of blood staining your only pair of clothes, blood splattering into your mouth, chunks of brain matter on Ezra’s gloves as he dragged you through a maze of tents and established buildings, viscera on your recovered suit, the way you’d had to swallow bile back down your esophagus at the sight of all the lives you’d taken. But you had to do it; it’s what you told yourself when the images would replay every time you closed your eyes.
Vengeance, necessity, paired with Ezra’s seemingly insatiable bloodlust—and your own. Your own shameful desire to incite violence, one you bred in the early years of your youth and had stuffed away until needed.
But you hadn’t been able to deny that, when Ezra shot a man who’d pinned you to the ground and then finished him off with a knife spurting blood out his neck, it stirred your blood something wild. Hearing him panting through the transmitter, grunts and curses as he tore through humans and humanoids and alien creatures alike right beside you. Hearing him call out targets, watching your six, taking single-word direction from you when you did the same.
They worked like a well-oiled machine, like you two had never not known the other. And he was sloppy in his technique, grounded more in brute force than strategy—but you made up for that in quick, evasive maneuvers and stealth. Both of you had near-perfect aim and could work around the clunky gear of your suits.
Messy—pools of blood, the sickening crunch of bone and cartilage crushed beneath your hands and your feet and your knife and whatever other weapon you scavenged along the way.
It felt like a ritual. A baptism of carnage that ensured neither one of you could live without the other.
So of course, when it all was over and the last vertebra snapped—
—there had been filthy, unhinged, surely unsanitary, bio-hazardous fucking in a tent surrounded by carnage.
Fucking in way you could only describe as feral.
Unrestrained.
Hot, Kevva’s saints was it brutally hot and so needy—but also so, so tender.
Full of soft emotion. Unspoken, even for Ezra’s standards. Almost loving.
Your aching bodies, exhausted and weak and battered, dragged lazily against one another once both of you had ceased the initial writhing pace of passion and the adrenaline ebbed. It tasted tinny like blood and musky like spit and salty with sweat and tears, and if nothing more, it was real. Whispering about how fuck, they’d made it and god, they were on the same level, we made it, baby—can’t live without you, I need you I need you I need you—
That day was quite possibly your favorite memory as well as one of your darkest. The day that you knew, in the charred, most twisted part of you, that you’d follow this man to the ends of every planet, to the far reaches of the universe—and he’d very well do the same.
Of course, you shared none of that with Cee.
“We took down the main base of the entire company. They were small but well-endowed. Got to transfer points into our accounts and sort through the mining equipment and the food,” you offered instead after a long bout of silence, “And the spoils of their labor. We were rich, could have retired early.”
“Why didn’t you?”
You debated whether to lie or tell her the truth, deciding on the latter. This girl wasn’t a threat, she genuinely wanted to know. “Ezra and I have—had a certain…interest in finding thrill wherever we can.”
Cee quirked an eyebrow, and you elaborated, “It’s not something to romanticize, we certainly weren’t smart about our spending. Gambling, drugs, slingshot scooter racing, smuggled creature ring-fights. The risk makes winning worth it. It was addicting. We earned a lot. Uncountable amounts of money. But we spent it all and then spent more. Pulled stunts that not even the most daring would try. Heists, intel-theft for enemies of certain people. We got caught up in it. Eventually drowned in a swamp of debt and unrequited favors. Got put on watchlists by the head crime syndicate and peace officers alike in the Core Worlds because we got cocky. Sloppy. So many people want our heads on a stake that we’d be better off dying out here. It’d be ironic, given the executions we deserve.”
You shuddered at the thought of Karolclan and their unusual procedures for punishment. They wanted you the most—you owed them the most. Them and Omni-Five. But Karolclan was decidedly worse.
“Why are you still mining? Wouldn’t it be easier to hide somewhere less dangerous?”
“We have debts to pay, bird,” you sighed, fond of the nickname Ezra gave her as it fit her well, “It’s the only honest work we can get without a biotracker recognizing our scans or someone realizing that the burner names and scouting codes we give them are bullshit. We work alone—no drop company, no mining corps. Until we can get our names cleared and our bio-scans off the watchlist, we can’t do shit else.”
If nothing more, Karolclan did allow debt payoff. But only if you could evade their capture, and only if you had the means to satisfy compounded interest. They were brutal, ruthless.
“He said you had a crew…and a ship…before you ended up stranded.”
“We did. A group of people like us. But you can imagine that a group of outlaws don’t always see eye to eye—buncha hotheaded criminals. Fought over aurelac, argued over fair shares, resources, everything.”
That wasn’t the whole story.
It started as a dispute over aurelac, but had quickly turned into a spat against Ezra, why he had so many successful harvests and surely he was stealing or cheating, how it wasn’t fair that you two were attached at the hip and didn’t section off when you split into groups to cover more land. In the heat of argument and the desperation of man, that had morphed into threats against you—Why don’t you fucking share her, Ezra? We all have needs and she’s barely good at the dig-sites. Put her to use somewhere else or we’ll find a use for her, and that devolved into Might take her right from under you if you don’t watch yourself, don’t be surprised if you hear her struggle tonight.
You had gotten used to the crude commentary, the snickers and wolf-whistles when you bent over, and if they had tried to somehow steal you away in the night, they’d have been reminded that you slept fully armed and showed no mercy to anyone who touched you unless they knew just where to start—and only one person did.
But that…that had not gone over well with him. It ended before you even knew what he did, and pretty soon you had a dead crewmate spilling blood over your boots while the familiar sound of throwers charging up rang in your ears, all of them pointed at the man panting beside you. The only one from the group to live and remain on the Green had been Two, and honestly you were never fond of them but weren’t surprised when they helped you and Ezra take the heat off your backs—they always teamed up with you two and they were good at what they did. It was a shame they were gone—despite their silence and threatening demeanor and sometimes uncalculated moves in a plan, they never made a move to harm either of you; they just wanted to harvest and get out like you did. Better them than Ezra, though. You’d have genuinely lost your mind if they had shown up in his stead.
“Did you kill the crew too?”
“Only a few,” you said honestly, “The others left us stranded when they realized we’d kill them next. Number Two was our only ally. Now they’re dead.”
You laid back down and put Ezra’s hand across your chest again, “Get some rest now. We’ve got a long day ahead of us. And if you choose to kill him while we sleep—kill both of us.”
You didn’t know why you’d felt compelled to say that, but revealing such a dark part of yourself to her convinced you that she’d plant a bolt in you or Ezra’s head and run. Ezra was the more likely target, given his history with the girl. It was irrational, for the most part; if she truly wanted him dead she would have let his wound kill him. Or she would have shot him sooner. But you couldn’t be too sure.
And you’d sooner die than wake up to him cold next to you.
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littlefreya · 4 years
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The Kitten & the Bear - Part 1
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Intro: This story is a collab and was written by both @wolvesandhoundshowltogether​ and I. It was born out of a fun role play we have going on. We ended up having so much a fun with this particular idea that we thought we should post it as a 3 part story and share it with the rest!
| Read Part 2  | Read Part 3 |
Summary: After a night of drinking in town get Walter’s bratty wife ends up with pure chaos and the overprotective grumpy husband is having none of her shenanigans. 
Pairing: Detective Walter Marshall x OFC (first person pov) 
Word count: 3k
Warnings: Bratty behaviour, vandalism, dominant overprotectiveness, BDE, husband stalking his wife, sexual innuendo, dirty inappropriate talks, mentions of sex and oral, weed and alcohol usage. Sex in the next parts :D Walter is a Boomer. 
A/N: We didn’t beta it and did transform it from 2nd to 1st person POV, really hoping you guys will enjoy it as we did. Feel free to share your thoughts. 
Title: The Kitten & the Bear
Nothing chilled my heart more than waking up in an empty bed. Walter was already gone, leaving his side of the mattress cold and abandoned. A heavy sigh broke from my lips, I stroked the ghost of the kiss that still tingled on my cheek, knowing he planted it there before heading to work. 
Sadness seeped into my heart as I realised I won't see him today. Our work scheduled conflicted and I have scheduled a "date night" with my girls in the evening. Picking up my phone, I texted him a pouty emoji and then headed to get my day started.
Walter left me on read, which just fuelled the brat in me. When he called during his lunch break, he was taciturn as usual, and most of the call was about his disapproval of us girls going out without at least one male friend or a boyfriend to chaperone.
"Oh my god, Walter, this is not the 50s! Women can leave their house without a husband tagging along!" I grunted and berated him, "stop acting like someone is going to kidnap me!!! I'm an adult woman!" I snapped at him while sitting at the cafe. People sitting around stared quietly as I hung up the phone, and stormed out.
~~~
Walter looked at his mobile phone, shocked. He couldn't even remember the last time someone hung up on him, let along his wife.
"Fucking brat," he muttered as he pocketed it. 
After lunch, he went into the precinct. Since it was flu season and they were having a shortage of uniformed officers, he volunteered to patrol tonight. Assuming he might even be able to check up on me wherever I get to town. Just to keep me safe. That's right. Not from jealousy. Not because I'll be all dolled up and tipsy and every man in the vicinity will ogle me.
~~~
As the evening loomed, I was in dire need of letting loose. Walter had left me incredibly frustrated, acting like a police officer from hell rather than my husband. Going through my closet, I stumbled upon the most outrageous piece of wardrobe: a black strappy thing with corset details at the front. The same one I've worn for our first date which of course ended up with Walter and I dry humping like two horny teenagers at the back of his truck and him eating me out until I came all over his beard 4 times. 
I slapped a dark red lipstick and put on a pair of red "fuck me" pumps before leaving to meet the gals in a new night club that had just opened. I might or might not have a rolled-up joint in my purse.
~~~
Walter was sitting in a patrol vehicle on the opposite side of the street from the new fancy club with translucent walls. We were all sitting beside the window at a small table full of cocktail glasses, but the girls were gesturing toward the dance floor. Walter chose a dark spot on the street to park the car and was wearing a beanie. 
But he didn't need it. He knew I was oblivious to him and also to the men staring at me from 3 different tables. He ground his teeth frustrated when he first noticed that I was wearing that dress. His blood boiled as I was slowly sipping a cocktail with a sexy little pout around the long straw.
"Let's dance!!! I wanna dance!!!" I whined at my friend Keylah, grabbing her wrist and dragging her with me. My posture was slightly unstable after two cocktails and probably not enough food to pad my belly. She followed me to the dance floor while Stephanie remained in her seat, talking to some guy just for the sake of trolling. He'd been hitting on each one of us unsuccessfully. 
After an hour of dancing with Keylah, swaying my ass in ways that didn't leave any imagination to the men lurking, I remembered the little treat I had in my purse and decided we should take a small break to breathe some fresh air. 
I grabbed the girls, and we walked outside.
"Okay, don't you dare mention this to Walter," I warned them as I took the joint out from my purse.
"Daddy Magnum gonna punish you?" Steph teased while I lit the weed. 
"Oh, you have no idea, he gave me shit about seeing you tonight without a male chaperone, like this is Mad Man or something." 
"Woah! Walter is a boomer!!!" Keylah teased, and we all laughed hysterically. 
~~~
Unbeknownst to me, Walter was watching us dance from his patrol car, getting more and more frustrated by the hour. He observed as I gathered both girls and came out on the street, walking a couple of meters away from the entrance. A frown fell on his face as he saw me taking a lighter out from my purse.
"She doesn't even smoke, what the hell?" he fumed. 
His eyes widened when he saw the telltale shape of a joint between my fingers. His mouth was agape as I lit it up and started smoking and passing it around. "What the fuck? Where did she get that?" he muttered incredulously.
'It's fucking illegal in Minnesota, what the fuck? A cop's wife at that!' He thought, rage simmering in his gut.  
The police radio suddenly began buzzing, the sergeant calling on the line. 
"Hey Marshall, Toby came in for the night shift after all. Do you want him to keep you company?" 
'And see Walter's wife going to town on a spliff? No fucking way.' 
"No, Sarge, thanks. It's uh... calm tonight." He frowned from afar. "Nothing but law-abiding citizens," he replied, hoping his sarcasm didn't go through while he was watching the wife of a respected detective drunk and smoking weed in the great outdoors.
"All right" the sarge concluded and cut the line, and Walter put back the radio.
‘Un-fucking-believable.'
~~~
The girls and I fell into a fit of wild giggles, thoroughly buzzed and high at the same time. My skirt rode up my thighs, and I didn't even bother fixing it as the combination of drugs and alcohol made me frivolous and careless. 
"Is Walter such a nerd in bed too? Is he one of those guys who won't even make a sound because they are ashamed of it?" Stephanie asked to which I immediately snorted.
"Walter fucks like a beast from hell," I answered and put off the remains of the joint against the heel of my shoe. 
"I had to go to the gyno at least four times in the past because he was too violent, and trust me, the noise he makes, luckily no one called the police yet…" 
"Jennifer, your husband is the police!" Keylah answered, and we burst into another fit of giggles which then gradually died down. 
The same man who bugged us from before followed us outside, giving us some stares and making a suckling voice with his lips. I snorted at him and told him to fuck off before putting my arms around my girls. 
"This place sucks, let's go grab something to eat from the store, if Walter sees me like this I will NEVER hear the end of it".
~~~
Walter was watching us walk away, still furious about my illicit behaviour. He promised himself that he'd have a serious conversation with me about this tomorrow. He gave us two blocks of a head start and then ignited the engine of the car and made a U-turn, slowly he rolled towards the store and saw us enter. He made another U-turn in front of the store to park across the street. He just hoped that we'll buy some nachos and a coke and then call it a night, and call a cab to go home.
~~~
It was close to 1am. We barged into the store, marching through as if we owned the place. Keylah stopped by the condoms section and threw a bottle of lube in my direction. "Here you go, Jennifer, you gonna need it".
I laughed and threw it back at her, grabbing a bag of chips and a bottle of water. 
"Better fuck his brains before he starts asking where you've been tonight," Stephanie added. 
"Can you girls please behave?" The clerk-lady requested politely, giving us a prudent look. I rolled my eyes at her and then stopped short as I saw a large stuffed grizzly bear that reminded me of Walter. I grabbed it and hugged it tightly just as I got the sudden urge to misbehave.
"Girls…" I whispered, making them come closer, "bet you a 20 I can sneak this out without paying!"
~~~
Walter's shoulders slumped, and he let out an irritated groan when he saw one of the girls throwing things inside the store. Though, he sighed in relief when I paused this stupid game, and a small smile tugged the edge of his mouth when I hugged a huge stuffed bear that reached down to my thighs and was high above the top of my head as I squeezed it to my torso. 
The way I looked at the bear reminded him of the loving looks I always gave him. But a sense of foreboding assaulted him as we started whispering and pointed at the door.
~~~
"Okay, okay… shush!" I whispered way too obvious and held the stuffed animal behind my back.
"Hey Keylah, can you pay for my chips?" I asked and backed away toward the door, nearly stumbling on my heels and holding the laughter in my gut. 
Noticing my attempt, the old woman cleared her throat, giving me a glare, "You are going to have to pay for that or I will call the police…"
"Her husb…"
"Shut up, Stephanie!" Keylah shouted and threw a bottle of lube in her direction, accidently hitting my shoulder, which made me drop the bear on the floor. 
"Key, you fucking bitch!!!" I answered and picked up the bottle, throwing it back at her. 
"Hey stop that!!!!" The clerk demanded and walked back behind the counter, picking up her phone. 
We ignored her, laughing like schoolgirls and throwing the bottle back and forth between us. Boxes of tampons and condoms fell to the floor as we moved through the hygiene section shouting playfully. 
As Keylah threw the bottle at me for the 12th time, I lifted it and threw it so hard it hit the window and broke it, causing the store's alarm to go off immediately.
"Oh… fu……..ck" I uttered.
~~~
"Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no," Walter panicked as he saw us vandalising the store. He was immediately ready to jump out of the car, but then it would be obvious he'd been keeping an eye on me. He had to wait for the call. 
He wasn't even hoping that the clerk would not involve the police in the matter. She has to. ‘Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck.’ 
When he saw the lady picking up the phone, he buried his face in his palms and rubbed it tiredly.
"Stupid, fucking bitches" he sighed, not believing his wife being so reckless. 
He picked up the buzzing radio and said, "Marshall. I'm here. On it." 
Without delay, he took the beanie off and got out of the car with his badge and gun ready.
~~~
Fingers dug into my hair, I stared wide-eyed at the broken window, immediately regretting all my decisions in the last couple of hours. 
'Walter was going to fucking kill me'. 
"I am soooooooo……." I began to say, turning to the clerk slowly while Keylah and Steph held their hands over their mouths. "So sorry." I stretched out while the alarm continued ringing in my ears. 
Then just like out of a nightmare, stepping through shards of broken glass with his big black boots, I saw Walter walking in, his brows knit together, his badge and his gun held out but kept low. He was enormous and menacing, yet the sight of him comforted me.
"Oh thank god, it's you!" I call out relieved.
~~~
The glass cracked beneath his steps as he walked in. He looked around and checked the store for cameras. 'Fuck, there were CCTVs'. 
He hoped to snatch me away and take care of the situation without involving... well himself but now that there was evidence it wasn't possible anymore. I was looking at him like a frightened little girl, but he couldn't help me, and frankly, he didn't feel like it either.
He looked at the clerk, showed her his badge and said in a neutral tone "MPD. What seems to be the problem?" 
~~~
My breath hitched at his "cop voice" and the way he asked the clerk. 
Stepping back and standing in the middle of the group, the three of us gaped at him with utter dumbfoundedness. Both my heart and gut dropped to the messy floor out of fear, and the way he carried himself, looking so menacing and authoritative made my panties drenched with arousal. 
"Officer, thank god you arrived! These three tried to steal a stuffed animal and started wreaking havoc in the store, throwing stuff around like children and speaking offensively!" The old woman explained and stood in the middle of the mess, looking helpless. 
My eyes rounded with false innocence, and I nibbled my bottom lip, giving Walter a vulnerable look. 
Walter was patiently listening to the clerk. Not a muscle flinched on his face as if he'd known everything. He took his notebook and a report form out and took care of the paperwork. 
The old lady eyed the three of us nervously while Walter was scribbling, and she hesitantly asked, "I'm sorry, Officer, but shouldn't you handcuff them? They might run."
Walter's curly head lifted, and he flashed the lady a small smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Don't worry, ma'am. They won't run."
"Is he serious?" Steph whispered, and I elbowed her, giving Walter a rather pissed off smile as he pretended not to know us at all and treated me like any other criminal.
Was it that just for show? Probably. We were going to have a serious talk about boundaries once we'd get home.
Walter finished writing his report and made the lady sign it before turning to look at the three of us, clenching his jaw. 
After a long, stern silence, I finally spoke, "Can I still get the teddy bear?"
Walter's nostrils flared as he dug into his pocket, pulled out a 20-dollar bill, slammed it on the counter and said to the clerk "For the bear."
At first, the lady was dumbfounded, then she blurted out outraged "Why are you buying a gift for a criminal?"
Walter didn't even spare her a look. He picked up the bear and looked at me with unflinching, stern eyes that made all three of us take a step backwards.
"Because she's my fucking wife."
The tone of his voice made the three of us startle, and I released a small gasp, seeing the look on his face. Walter made a gesture with his hand singling us to walk out of the store in order, and we did as he commanded. At the same time, my eyes gave him a mischievous smirk, mistaking this behaviour for a show.
Walter left the store last and immediately commanded, "To the car".
When we got there on the opposite side of the street, he opened the car and shoved the teddy bear on the passenger seat, then turned back, crossed his hands on his chest, and looked at all three of us. 
"Here's how it's gonna happen. We go in the precinct, fill out the forms, you stay the night, and most likely will be charged with a misdemeanour. Although the weed might be more problematic." He glared at me pointedly. 
The girls and I collectively gasped. 
"Now get in the back seat, all of you."
With shuddering legs, Keylah and Steph obediently entered the patrol car. I stared at Walter as he stood there towering over me, his massive arms crossed around his broad chest.
Still intoxicated, I looked at him with disbelief, realising two things: he arrived at the scene in less than two minutes after the lady called the police, which is impossible. And two, he couldn't possibly know I had weed on me unless… 
"Were you stalking me?!" I called out, ignoring the police officer and speaking to my husband. My hands went to my hips, my face sulking. 
"Oh my god, Walter! You were! Weren't you?" I frowned and shook my head, grunting with disgust.
"You are in no position to reproach me for anything right now", Walter said, seemingly calm. "But if you wanna know, I was patrolling in the neighbourhood and decided to check up on you. I saw the way you were shaking your ass for strangers" he spat, but he let his eyes roam the tight dress, and the way he subtly licked his lips made me sure he remembered exactly which dress it was.
"Do as you're fucking told and get in the car or you're gonna find yourself in even bigger trouble." 
"Oh my god, Walter!!! Are you fucking kidding me?!" I yelled at him and stepped back, throwing my hands in the air furiously.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!! MY OWN HUSBAND STALKING ME?! What's next Walter? You gonna put an ankle bracelet thingy on me, so I don't get to leave the house without your fucking permission?!"
I got so angry, my hands pushed at his chest, to which he didn't even budge, and only his jaw tightened.
"I am NOT getting into that car, and you are going to let Keylah and Steph go before you are going to be in trouble!"
Keylah and Steph were both watching with utter fascination as they saw the growing tension in Walter's posture.
Once Keylah and Steph were inside the car, they felt like the immediate danger was over. Their drunkenness and high made them reckless again and they started cheering me in the verbal fight with my husband.
Walter was on the verge of bursting, it was evident from his face. He took a menacing step towards me and despite my anger, a pang of arousal shot in my core.
"Get. in the. fucking. car" he growled in a barely audible voice. He gave me one last chance to voluntarily obey him.
I moved closer toward him, my head tilting up to meet his menacing gaze, my breasts ghostly brushing against his hard torso.
"I am not going anywhere with you," I answered unflinchingly. "Keep this attitude up, and the whole town will get to enjoy me swaying this ass long before you do." I teasingly slapped my own ass and then smirked arrogantly as I heard the girls cheering at the backseat
"That's it."
Quick as lightning, Walter's hands uncrossed and shot out. He grabbed my arms, turned me around with dizzying speed and slammed my torso down on the hood of the police car.
"Jennifer Marshall, you are under arrest for destruction of property, public intoxication and obstruction of a law enforcement officer."
I gasped incredulously as I felt the metal handcuffs closing on my wrists while Walter was performing his duty automatically and methodically. I'd never seen him make an arrest, let alone manhandle me like this.
With my cheek pressed against the cold metal, I could see both Keylah and Steph gape at us, eyes and mouth wide with daze. 
Still intoxicated, I hissed as a shiver of fear and sexual arousal shot through my spine, creeping all the way down to my throbbing core. 
"What the fuck are you doing?!" I cried out in protest. "I am your wife!"
My attempt to stand up brought my ass to collide with his crotch, where I felt the unmistakable throb of his blood circulating down to his groin. 
"Are you also getting the feeling that they're gonna fuck?" Steph whispered to Keylah, loud enough for us to hear.
"Shush!" she answered and stared, licking her lips. 
"Let me go, you fucking pig!" I screamed and squirmed on the hood helplessly. 
"Anything you say will be held against you in the court of law" Walter continued in his deep cop voice as if I hadn't even spoken.
"Say his dick, girl!" Keylah shouted, and Steph wooed, but they quickly shut up and resorted to concealed giggling as Walter shot angry eyes at them. He stepped closer to secure his hold on the handcuffs, and I felt the warm coarse material of his jeans at the back of my thighs.
"If you don't want to add resisting arrest and possession of narcotics to your offences, shut the fuck up and stop squirming."
"Fuck” I hissed, which didn't go unnoticed by Walter. My ass naturally shifted against his hardening bulge, and I moaned gently, not loud enough for the girls to hear but definitely heard by Walter, who had his hand around my cuffed wrists.
"You're enjoying this, big guy?" I spit out sardonically, "controlling your wife like you always want to, hmm?"
With the alcohol flushing through my veins, mingled with the sheer exhilaration of anger, I became more daring than ever.
"I think you are just scared because we both know you are never going to tame me."
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obeiii-mee · 3 years
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Heyo, this is my first time asking (im kinda new to tumblr, so please dont judge) if you would'nt mind, could you do some headcannons (or oneshots, it dosen't matter) with all the demon bros and a MC who is crippled/paralized in their legs, and has to use a wheelchair to get around? Thank you!!
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This is the first time I’ve written about a crippled MC, so I hope I didn’t fuck this up or anything. I found out that being paralysed in both legs is a disability called Paraplegia so that’s how I titled this post. And y’all are too sweet, you are more than welcome anon! I hope I can portray this properly because I am not crippled myself so I’ve opted to do some research before writing this! I hope you like it! Also, I feel inclined to add that none of the brothers would treat you too differently if you happen to have a disability because you’re their human nonetheless :)
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The Brothers with an MC that has Paraplegia and needs a wheelchair to get around:
Lucifer:
-Lucifer was in charge of choosing the final human, exchange student for the program so it’s guaranteed he already knew about your predicament before you even arrived
-Him and Diavolo probably had many meetings concerning your disability before the program could commence, considering that being unable to walk would double the chances of you getting killed since you are obviously more vulnerable
-Not to mention all the treatment you would require
-Lucifer is not well versed in human illnesses and disorders, but he makes sure that he is educated enough on the matter before you get brought down there
-It would not be easy, but he is determined to help you survive your year in DevilDom for the prince’s sake
-First problem of the day was, of course, your wheelchair
-Due to lack of time, Lucifer was unable to instal ramps around the House of Lamentation which meant that for the first couple of weeks, someone would’ve had to help you move around certain parts of the house
-He gave that highly prestigious job to himself because he didn’t trust his brothers and thought they would accidentally drop you and your wheelchair down the stairs
-He talks a lot to you, even at the beginning, because he needs to establish your needs and what he should do to make sure you don’t die for the following year
-You would have to tell him about physical therapy and how most commonly it uses heat, massage and exercise to stimulate your nerves and muscles, making it a great treatment for people with leg paralysis
-Once you two enter a more intimate and personal relationship, it’s more than likely he’ll help you perform those things himself (instead of kidnapping a human doctor from somewhere)
-Lucifer knows you have no problem getting around with your wheelchair by yourself but there are times where he’ll insist to push you along in order to give you a quick break
-I can totally imagine you two strolling around DevilDom and having cosy chats about RAD and your adjustments to DevilDom
-He has a softer side to him that he’s afraid to show most of the time, but he feels so at ease when you’re around, it’s hard for him to hold that part of him hidden from you
-Of course, your safety still remains his primary concern and he acts more like your guardian than Mammon does, even if he was originally supposed to look out for you
-He will accompany you almost anywhere. And if he can’t, he’ll have one or more of his brothers do it. And even then he’s probably lurking nearby, just in case
-He would always be willing to listen about your condition, if you wished to tell him whether you were born with the defect or why you ended up crippled later in life. Either way, he’s all ears
-If you would rather not speak about it, he wouldn’t pry and respect your decision because he knows it’s not his place to pressure you
-Because of your paralysis, it’s quite obvious to demons that you are even weaker (physically speaking) than most humans and that usually puts a target on your back
-Howver, never fear, because Lucifer is pretty quick to put lower rank demons in their place with just a mere stare
-Oop one of them passed out from the fear, haha
-In conclusion, he’s the most responsible when it comes your comfort and safety during your stay
-He makes sure you are always left in good hands and and provides most of the requirements you need
-Y’all should see how his wings puff up when he senses a threat approaching you, he looks like a peacock ready to go on attack lol
Mammon:
-The second born is unsurprisingly a bit of a jerk at first
-He stays really grumpy the whole day of your arrival because he’s stuck babysitting you stupid human
-“Lucifer c’mon, what’s all this workload for? The human can’t even walk by themselves, why do I have to help them out?”
-Wtf Mammon you can’t say shit like that
-Anyways, the following very few days, the only thing he’s thinking about is how much money he could sell your wheelchair for
-He’s the literal incarnation of greed, what else did you expect from him?
-After a while, he starts feeling a bit guilty every time he thinks about it though
-Mammon is gonna take this secret to the grave (laughs in immortal) but he actually really likes pushing you around
-Maybe it’s because it’s a clear indication to everyone around him that you are HIS human, under HIS protection and therefore you trust HIM the most since he was your FIRST MAN
-He will insist on helping you get out of that thing when you need to go to bed and stuff every night and he will get pouty real fast if you let any of his other brothers do it
-You wake up to him trying to roll around in your wheelchair one night at like 3am
-At some point, he stole a wheelchair from the human realm to match with his human. You can guess the consequences of his actions
-I can imagine you having to face a staircase or something at school and Mammon being like:
-“Fuck it, imma carry this fragile human instead; wheelchair and all!”
-Like you were a sack of potatoes or something smh
-Cue his brothers watching him from a distance as he heaves you and basically weight-lifts you up the stairs
-Ok but every now and again, he gets so sad thinking about you not being able to walk, like he starts crying kinda sad
-While you stand there like 😐 “Why are you crying?”
-He’s so quick to help if he senses you’re in danger too
-It’s canon that Mammon is crazy fast if he wants to be so if he has even the slightest impression that your life is threatened, his feet are already moving
-He will charge at your immediate threat at around 120 miles per hour-do not try him when he’s mad
-“The Great Mammon saved the day! C’mon MC, let’s go buy some ice cream. My treat! Ya better be grateful!”
-He says while the demon that tried to eat you lies on the floor with about a dozen broken bones
-Mammon is the second most powerful demon out of all of his brothers, even if he doesn’t resort to violence often
Levi:
-He didn’t really know how to react when you first teleported to DevilDom
-I mean, from the very beginning he considered you to be a human normie but at the same time, he felt bad you were stuck with his brothers for the rest of the year
-I think he would understand you would have an even harder time integrating yourself in their house because of your disability and he knows his siblings are really fucking annoying, always pushing you around and whatnot
-So, he kinda lets you hide in his room quite often
-You guys chill out in there all the time, much to the dismay of the other brothers who also want to spend time with you
-At some point, Levi definitely begged asked Lucifer to let you start online classes with him
-“But wouldn’t it be easier for MC to do online school from home rather than go to R.A.D since there aren’t any ramps or anything around there???”
-“The answer is no Leviathan.”
-“Ugh fine! What a fucking boomer-“
-For some reason, he gets so flustered whenever you ask him to push you around
-He blushes right to the tips of his ears and then he starts sputtering some nonsense that you can’t make out at all
-But he’s more than happy to do it, especially if you guys are going to a convention or if he’s dragging you out to buy new merch
-You two would get along in the sense that Levi realises the struggles you faced all your life were tough to overcome and he believes you are just like him
-Usually left out by other people, ignored even
-He knows you always listen to him ramble on about whatever he is currently obsessed with and how much you check up on him to make sure he never isolated himself
-He wants to do that for you too! Talk to him about your hobbies, please I’m begging you-he feels so bad whenever he’s doing all the talking
-If you ask him to help you with anything (getting something, helping you into bed—that sort of thing), he legally and physically can’t say ‘no’
-And he would get envious enough to stop talking to you for a day or two if you let his brothers do it instead (the second and third born are indeed similar lmao)
-S T A Y I N H I S R O O M, W H E R E Y O U C A N B E P R O T E C T E D !
-He will feel so much more at ease if you’re in his room because to him, that’s his haven
-If you’re in there with him, that means you’re not getting involved in his siblings’ endless and dangerous shenanigans
-Whenever you’re at school, he can’t help but worry about your well-being
-Because you’re human! You’re gonna get killed!! Do you know how much your organs sell on the black market in DevilDom??? 100x more than in the human realm, that’s for sure
-Would they have a black market or would it be a regular market lol
-For some reason, he also likes staying in your wheelchair when you’re not using it
-I think he just takes comfort in knowing it’s something that belongs to you and smells like you and-
-OK Levi, sit back down
-He wouldn’t treat you any differently if you had a disability tbh, but he’d be more concerned because you can’t even run away or anything
-So he’s so fuckin’ relieved when you guys are just vibing in his room
-He could die happy knowing he kept his best friend/ partner safe
Satan:
-Satan would be even more prepared for your arrival than Lucifer would, in a sense
-Out of all of his brothers, he’s most likely to understand and recognise paraplegia (either from studying human illnesses/birth defects/disabilities or from encountering humans with said disability)
-He’s a smart boy, alright?
-Always seems to be the first to notice if you need help or if someone’s bothering you
-Though in the very beginning, he was pretty tempted to just let you get killed to see how angry Lucifer could get
-Seeing dear Luci’s misery brings him great joy 🥰🥰🥰
-Once you two manage to build a very honest and strong relationship, he feels more and more inclined to keep you out of harm’s way
-Pls, he would feel so honoured if you let him push you around (it’s like you asked him to h*ld h*nds or something)
-If you require treatment of any kind, he would be so happy to help
-But in a subtle way...?
-Satan makes it seem so smooth too like he doesn’t mind lending a helping hand when in reality he’s all giddy inside
-*Kinda wants to rub it in his brothers’ faces but at the same no, because he’s definitely the bigger person here
-He wants to know how your wheelchair works
-It’s got all of these neat mechanisms and he wants to learn how they’re constructed because he never had the chance to inspect one before
-He’s such a sweetheart about asking you as well and never pries about your disability unless you start elaborating yourself
-Most of the time, he acts all charming and very gentleman-like
-So people have a hard time spotting and acknowledging the building rage inside of him every time he sees you are threatened by some moronic low rank demon
-Satan’s usually chill when it comes to injuries, unless he can see you’re in horrible pain
-There’s nothing a few spells can’t accomplish
-But when others purposefully try harming you?
-It’s like he loses all the self control he’s been trying to perfect over the centuries and he can’t help himself from at least breaking someone’s rib cage
-Satan’s a weird one because he’s protective of you even though he’s more on the relaxed side when compared to his siblings
-He very much acknowledges that you made it this far in life with your predicament so he doesn’t feel the need to baby you or anything
-You’re strong and he knows this
-It’s one of the many things he clearly loves about you
-That one time you rolled over Mammon’s foot with your wheelchair on purpose, he was wheezing
Asmo:
-Even now, he can’t help but wonder what it would be like to be stuck inside a wheelchair for the rest of his eternal life
-I mean, he’d obviously still be absolutely fabulous, have you seen him? He’s gonna be gorgeous either way
-But after the two of you meet, he definitely starts thinking about how he takes his feet for granted all the time
-It would be so difficult to complete his daily tasks without the ability to walk or run around
-That’s why he gets sad every time he remembers that’s your reality and on days like that, you’ve noticed he gives you a helluva lot more attention than usual
-He knows you don’t need pity or anything so he’s just making sure his human has all the support they can get
-Paraplegia or not, shopping trips are still a go-go
-He loves buying you clothes! And he loves helping you try them on! Asmo takes it very seriously
-Might have a go at the employees if they’re being rude to you
-You don’t even ask him to, but he subconsciously starts pushing you around himself whenever the two of you are out together
-“MC! Look at that new shop that’s just opened! Isn’t it adorable? We have to check it out!”
-He can’t help it! There’s so many places he wants to visit, he sort of just drags you with him wherever he goes
-Even at home, he always pops out of nowhere to coax you into coming to his room
-Y’all have so many skin routines to do each day
-Like he’s in your room most nights to greet you goodnight and tuck you in, with the rest of his brothers it gets so awkward at times
-Asmo just wants to see you smile, ok? He thinks you have a beautiful smile and laugh and he wants to remind you that you’re marvellous, disability or not
-And if anyone does anything to put an end to your self confidence, he will swiftly put an end to their life
-Please, he’s a pro at ruining lives, he’s been doing it for centuries
-Asmo has such a huge influence over the people in DevilDom, he just needs to make this one post on Devilgram to end said demon’s whole career
-I mean, who is he compared to him, Hmm? So don’t worry MC, scum like that don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as you :)
-That one time Mammon tried lifting you up the stairs and Asmo started shrieking, like put them down! Don’t manhandle them like that, poor human :(
Beel:
-I know I sound repetitive, but he would be an overall sweetheart to you no matter the circumstances
-If Mammon is not by your side, then Beel definitely is
-His big, scary aura and figure usually scares off any threat in a 10 mile radius
-Most demons don’t fancy being eaten by the Avatar of Gluttony, ya know?
-Idk why but I feel like he’d be the type to ask for oral consent every time he wanted to push you around
-He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable :(
-Surprisingly also the type to lift you and your wheelchair whenever an obstacle gets in your way
-You basically weigh the same amount as a paper plate compared to him, so he has no problem doing so
-He doesn’t really understand your condition as well as Satan may do, but he’s trying his best
-You mean so much to him and he feels it’s only fair he learns more about your disability as a thank you for what you’ve done for him
-He has a rough time keeping up with you when it comes to stuff like physical therapy because he’s very unfamiliar with it but that doesn’t mean he’s not gonna help
-Of course, Beel believes that this is the second best way to show you how much he cares for you besides the obvious ‘I love you’
-Giving you a hand whenever you need his support the most
-That’s his way of saying “I’m not going to let you down. I want you to trust me, the same way I trust you.”
-And knowing him, he will try to do everything in his power to keep you safe and sound
-After a while, you’re bound to notice he’s the first one to pull you out of his brothers’ pranks before you have a chance to get hurt
-Beel is always the one handing you stuff from high places you can’t reach, without teasing you for it like Mammon might do
-Always the first one to remind you to get plenty of rest and to eat enough
-He wants to protect you and his brothers because he knows he failed to do so with Lilith so yeah, he’s a bit overprotective at times
-He doesn’t mean to be overbearing, but he gets so anxious knowing you’re by yourself
-After a few months of getting accommodated with him, your disability is no longer brought up in the conversation
-Because he doesn’t care that you are crippled and forced to use a wheelchair
-You are part of his family and he loves you no matter what
Belphie:
-He didn’t really care, even when you first met and his hatred for humans was at its very peak
-It didn’t matter that you had a disability
-All that mattered to him at the time was killing you to satisfy that deeply rooted need of vengeance inside of him
-Though he was sort of surprised his brothers didn’t get to you first
-In general, he’s pretty chill about you being crippled in both legs
-It takes too much effort to worry about your well-being 24/7 after all
-Surprisingly, he does keep an eye out for you if his siblings aren’t nearby
-It’s his redemption arc people, he’s trying to be nicer
-But he has such an irritating way of showing his affection for you
-Do not let him push you around
-He’s either going to a) fall asleep after 30 seconds and slump over you in the middle of RAD’s halls
-Or b) be annoying and fling your wheelchair in every direction possible just to piss you off
-He likes messing with you because you give him the best reactions and he thrives on that
-You’ve almost fallen off your wheelchair multiple times because of this asshole
-Not that he’d actually let you fall, he just wants to see how easily he can get you to yell at him
-Speaking of said wheelchair, like Mammon and Levi, he also loves using it when you’re not
-You’ve woken up to him curled up and asleep in that thing quiet often and he’s gotten in trouble over it every time with Lucifer
-But he doesn’t care
-And at this point, I don’t think even he knows whether he’s doing it to get a reaction out of you or because he somehow found a way to make himself comfortable there
-He would low key use you as a mode of transportation every time you go to RAD
-Just clings the damn wheelchair and almost topples both of you over
-“Belphie, there’s nothing stopping you from walking 😐”
-“Shh, just bring me to class and let me nap until then.”
-He doesn’t mention your legs but he still lays his head on your lap often
-Might make you hold him like a bride every time you stroll around the house
-It’s done out of love, I promise 😌😌
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Al~
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shinsouskitten · 4 years
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Shinsou Hitoshi nsfw alphabet
damn kat back at it again with the thirst i hate myself 
Idk how I haven’t done a nsfw alphabet for my KING yet but I’m disappointed in myself for it
this post was mostly finished before the whole ‘this cold makes me feel like im dying’ thing so i just had to add a few and it was ready for publishing (bonus points if you can tell which ones were added in my cold-induced craziness)
Warnings: you know it, you love it, the thirsting of a lonely writer
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Shinsou is a king when it comes to aftercare. Hot baths, massages, cuddles, you name it. You mean the absolute world to him, and he’ll go out of his way to show that, both in and out of the bedroom
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partner’s)
Shinsou can be pretty self critical, but if you pushed for an answer he’d probably say his hair, cause he knows how much you like it. For his partner, horny Shinsou would immediately go for your neck (literally too). He loves how a single kiss can turn you into putty in his hands, and he’ll leave marks in places he knows you can’t hide just to prove to the world that you’re his
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Inside you, on you, he doesn’t really mind. Whatever you prefer, he’s happy with. If you want to get messy, he’s more than happy to help, but if not he’ll keep you clean (ish). Although he’s unlikely to admit it, seeing you swallow his cum ignites a fire in Shinsou, and sets up quite a few more rounds so he can give you a reward for being so good
D = Dirty secret (pretty clear, a dirty secret of theirs)
Shinsou’s pretty open with what he wants, but when you first start getting intimate there’ll be a few things he doesn’t really want to say in case he scares you away (he could never, but he still worries). He wants to experiment, but he makes sure he knows your boundaries before he suggests anything too out there. The thing he keeps secret for the longest is the desire to wrap your neck in a beautiful collar emblazoned with his name, simply cause he doesn’t want you to think it’s weird
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
He does his research, but hands on experience is pretty limited before you. It’s a learning curve, both of you learning what makes the other tick, what causes you the highest amount of pleasure, and what to steer clear of
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Loves to see you ride him. It gives you the power to control the tempo, but also gives him a beautiful view to tip him over the edge of ecstasy. More needy Shinsou (aka when he’s in hornball mode) likes doggy style, cause it means he can pull your hair or hold you up against him and kiss your neck
G = Goofy (how serious are they in the moment?)
He’s not going to whip out a joke book in the middle of sex, but he’s also not going to act like an uptight secretary who’s only able to follow the rules (well, not unless you ask 👀) 
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Keeps himself trimmed, possibly even shaved. It’s no nonsense and means it’s also more enjoyable for you if you’re giving him head
I = Intimacy (how romantic are they in the moment?)
He’s an intimate guy, but he’s also not above teasing (though there’s another letter for that so I’ll keep on intimate for now). Like I mentioned in B, Shinsou can be pretty self critical, and sometimes he can get scared that you’ll leave him if he doesn’t prove how much he loves you, which to him means intimate sex and reassurance (aka, saying ‘I love you’ every two seconds)
J = Jack off (what are their views on masturbation?)
He does it when needed. He’s not insanely horny, so chances are if he is you’re there to deal with him. But if you’re not, and he’s especially needy, he’ll most likely call you up for a little phone session. The thought of you is incredible, but being able to see and hear you is even better
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
I think we all know the phrase kitty, right? Well inference leads me to believe that Shinsou would be down for trying out pet play. And yes, as I mentioned before, he would 100% have a collar for you with his name on it. I don’t take criticism for that one
L = Location (favorite places to do the dance with no pants)
More traditional. Sex between the two of you means intimacy, so he’d prefer privacy. You have yet to find a surface in your house he hasn’t tried to fuck you on. That being said, your comfort is of the utmost importance to Shinsou, so if he’s going to fuck you over the kitchen counter, he’s going to make sure you feel comfortable while he does it. So yes, that means he’ll take pillows off the sofa’s just to make you comfy
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going, etc)
You. Simple as. There are certain things that especially turn him on, such as you biting your lip or being extra attentive to him in what would seem like a normal scene to anyone else watching. Put your hand on his thigh when out at dinner and pay the price when you get home. Or maybe that was your plan all along
N = No (turn offs, something they wouldn’t do)
Shinsou never wants you to be in pain (well not unless you want to be in pain). He’ll leave hickies all over you, but that’s about as far as he’ll go with marking you. Maybe a spank here and there, but he won’t scar you or leave any marks that won’t be gone in a few days
O = Oral (do they prefer giving or receiving? how skilled are they?)
Shinsou prefers giving, but he’ll never say no to receiving either. He wants you to feel good, but if you decide to turn the tables he’s not going to deny you. Once you’re finished though, he’s repaying the favor tenfold. And just as a note, pull his hair when he goes down on you. He adores it
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Yes and yes. It all depends on the situation, his mood, the usual things. He’ll do whatever provides you with the most pleasure (while also allowing him to tease you)
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies)
He doesn’t love them, but if they’re the only way to get some gratification then he’s willing (only if you are though). He’s careful about location, he doesn’t want someone walking in and ruining the whole thing, even if the risk of being caught makes everything a little more exciting. Chances are he won’t engage in quickies unless he’s been to the place at least once before (he wants to know which wall you’d look best pinned to). He has to feel slightly comfortable in the environment
R = Risk (how risky are they willing to be?)
He’s down for a little risk, but nothing that would be too mortifying for you. If he’s going to screw you somewhere other than your home, he’s going to vet the place over a lot, and find the best place where you have the comfort of being private but the thrill of being caught if someone were to venture too close to your hideout
S = Stamina (how long do they last? how many rounds?)
Freaking hell where does he get it from? Like, he just doesn’t stop. Not that that’s a bad thing, mind you. Most of the rounds consist of him pleasing you, and he’ll only give in and finally fuck you when your throat is hoarse from begging, or when he feels the smallest amount of pity at the tears rolling down your face (did someone say crying kink)
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them on a partner or themselves?)
Vibrating panties. I said he doesn't physically act on desires when in public, but touching a remote isn’t the same thing as touching you, so he makes an exception. He’s not insanely cruel. For him it’s more about teasing that mortification, so if someone senses something’s wrong, he turns off the remote until they give up. But the moment they’re gone, it’s back stronger than ever
U = Unfair (how much do they tease?)
*roblox oof sound effect*
Once Shinsou gains his confidence with you, he’s not going back. His teasing is often coupled with praise, telling you how good you’re being for him while he denies you pure bliss again and again. He’ll edge you to hell and back if you give him the chance, but don’t worry, it’s worth it in the end
V = Volume (how they sound, how loud they are, etc)
Small moans and louder grunts are the main sounds coming from Shinsou when he’s enjoying himself. He swears a lot, and it’s always easy to tell how close he is to the edge by how creative his swears become. As for his partner, he wants to know how well he’s doing. He wants to hear you whine and beg while he edges you, and the pornstar-like moans that fill the air when he finally gives in and gives you what you really want
W = Wild card (a random headcanon)
You think I forgot about his quirk. Ha, I could never. I said in my hcs that it takes a while for Shinsou to integrate quirk use into sex. As much as you assure him you’re in full trust, he’s anxious about the inability to say no when he has you under his control. The longer you’re together the more willing he is, but even when he does use it it’s usually a way to make edging even more dangerous, with you unable to resist his words when he tells you you’re not allowed to cum just yet
Okay maybe we have 2 wild cards this time cause I also wanna mention his capture weapon. Again, it’ll take a while for it to be available in a less-than-pg manner, but he’s more willing to use his capture weapon than his quirk. Main reason being, you can still use a safeword when tied up. But tying up goes both ways, so even if he prefers to be the one giving the pleasure, he’d never deny your wishes
X = X-ray (let’s have a looksee in those pants)
I’m trying not to be biased cause I love him so much but I feel like Shinsou’s kinda packing. A good 8.5-9 inches (no, I won’t take criticism) and on the skinnier side. But the amount of attention he gives you before his pants are even off means taking him is never difficult
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Not the highest, but when you’re around it increases significantly. He’s not going to fuck you every time he sees you (I mean, he thinks about it) but he also isn’t a nun. It’s a good level, cause most days you can walk, and then on the weekends you’re a little bedridden
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He’s a bit of an insomniac, so screwing the energy out of him is one of the best ways to get Shinsou tired enough to sleep. He likes to hold you, so once he’s satisfied with the aftercare, he’ll crawl in bed for cuddles until the both of you pass out
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luv4kiyoomi-archive · 3 years
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YANDERE GENERAL HEADACANONS || DAY 02
Tags : Tomura Shigaraki x reader , Keigo Takami x reader , headcanons , GN!reader TW YANDERE , tw manipulation , tw stalking , tw monopolising , NFSW
Rating : 16+ , UNDER WILL BE BLOCKED
WC : 0.8k
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A/N ; tell me if u need an tw for anything else !! Also ik its villainevember but keigo luviee :((( AND MY ASS REALLY NEEDS TO CATCH UP WITH THE REST OF THE DAYS LMAO I SHOULD’VE STARTED EARLY , + I NEED TO MAKE AN NEW NAVI HNBGVFC Also i got an hq side blog !! It’s @haikyupedia , I’ll post a fic tomorrow or today
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TOMURA SHIGARAKI
What type of yandere is he?
Tomura is the monopoly , sadistic and obsessed yandere. He thinks that you only need him and him only. Not because he’s the best but because you guys belong together! So don’t you dare even look at that other guy. You want to finally go out for once? Well too bad.
How did they meet?
Tomura met you after an villain attack , you were an reporter which didn’t necessary like the heroes and was more on the villains side. You had sympathy for them , understood why they did these things and take into consideration that they are just as worthy as love like everyone else. Tomura loved that about you but...instead of directly talking to you he just stalked you the whole time.
(Look he’s a shy boy okay??)
How do they stalk their darling?
When stalking you , he’s purposely obvious of his intention. Wanting you to notice him , whether for a good reason or not he just wants attention from his darling. He doesn’t know your favorite things just yet. He likes personal information he can use to his advantage. Whether it’s to manipulate you or just a fact on top of his head!
What is their kidnapping method?
Kidnapping you would be hard. He’s the top wanted villain and doesn’t have that good of a reputation so it’ll be hard to gain your trust. But what if he doesn’t want your trust? A little force can’t hurt anyone. He’ll send the league to corner you saying your an important person to get information from all might. And...you don’t need to know what else happened…
What is your reaction to being kidnapped?
when you wake up , you’re in Tomura’s room laying on his bed with just a shirt and panties on. His room...is full of photographs of you even when you were in ‘private’. There’s even a shrine dedicated to you and information about you written on the walls that you didn’t even know yourself.
you were aggressive and hostile towards Tomura when he tried to introduce himself. He didn’t know why , he loved you?! Can’t you see that , he knows everything about you unlike anyone else. Why are you so ungrateful? He did this all for you...
How would he treat you for now on?
like I said , Tomura is a sadistic yandere so he would treat you awfully but use ‘it’s out of love’ as an excuse. He would limit your food and water to a small amount , make you bathe in unfiltered water and much more. Not only that , even if he treats you terribly he always wants to know who you’re talking to , where you’re going and basically he wants to know every.Second.Of.Your.Life.
KEIGO TAKAMI
What type of yandere is he?
Keigo is the manipulative and isolating type of yandere. He always thinks that all you need is him. He’s smart , quick , handsome , perfect personality and rich! All the ladies are literally in love with him , wanting to be the one he puts the ring on , who wouldn’t want to be with Hawks?
How did they meet?
Keigo met you when you were applying to be his sidekick. You had great statistics and abilities. Your resume was on point too , not to mention your quirk was very useful to Hawks. Yet he rejected you and hired some nobody , he couldn’t risk you getting hurt! So he made sure every other agency rejected you too. He promised this all for your safety!
How do they stalk their darling?
Reminder that Hawks is fast and smart. He keeps track of everything you do without you noticing anything or are you just a naive little darling? Even if you do suspect him- he’ll laugh in your face for the ‘allegation’. Did you forget who he is? He’s Hawks , the number two hero. Always saving lives and fighting villains. As if he would do such an villainous thing and stalk somebody.
What is their kidnapping method?
When he plans his kidnapping, he would hire an faux villain to go and attack you then save you to gain your trust. He would tell you to follow you...now you’re suspicious of him , but what is the worst he can do? He’s an top pro hero and just saved your life.
What is your reaction to being kidnapped?
You were dead wrong. Everything went black , that’s the only moments you can recall. You are now in a replica of your old bedroom. Everything looks the same , not a thing out of place. It’s amazing but creepy at the same time. You look to see that you have an heavy chain on your leg to keep you from escaping.
When Hawks comes to greet you , you’re surprisingly calm but only because you think he’s here to save you. Oh, you gullible cute lil thing. He’s has already saved you. From all harm out there , no villains , no people to get in the way of your love and no one to take you away from him. He’s all that you need.
How would he treat you for now on?
Keigo would treat you as a royale. He didn’t have much growing up , so he doesn’t want the same for you. A snap of a fingers and it’s already right in front of you. He always has his way. Not only pampering you but act towards you as if you’re an glass doll. Keigo feeds you , bathes you , dresses you and does literally everything for you. He just doesn’t want you to tire yourself out!
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