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cosmons · 9 months

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Moth To A Flame — 09. Catnipz (fully written)

Haerin walked to her next class with a pep in her step after bidding Eunchae farewell on her next class of the day. She was very confident in herself and her plan once she scanned the classroom to the find the girl she’s been thinking about during the whole lunch period.

No not y/n, although she wished.

It was none other than Kim Minji.

The universe was surely on her side as the seat next to the older girl was vacant, Haerin wasted no time in clutching her backpack straps with one hand and walked toward the girl who was busy organizing her desk with notebooks and colorful pens for note taking.

‘What a geek’ Haerin smiled, she lightly tapped the girl in question gently, “excuse me is this seat taken?”

Minji placed her red pen down next to her orange one, looking at Haerin was a surprised expression, “oh Kang Haerin? I thought you were in AOS?”

Haerin titled in her head in confusion, did everyone know about her transfer to AOS? She barely even told anyone about her departure from this school last year.

But she was rather more surprised that Minji even remembered Haerin, with the small amount of encounters they had last year? And the rare occasions of a conversation between the two? If Haerin was her she’d forget herself in a heartbeat.

It must’ve been the perks of being president last year, having the roster of every kid in the school, still though, Haerin mentally applauded Minji for her insane memory.

Minji sensed her confusion because she responds quickly with a sheepish smile, “word got around fast, you were the only one accepted heh”

“I’m Kim Minji by the way, incase you forgot.”

Haerin snorts, “ah yes I remember you last year.”

She rocks herself slightly back and forth, waiting for the green light to Minji allowing her sit beside her.

That’s when Minji pushed the chair next to her out, “you can sit here by the way!”

The younger obeys, plopping herself onto the seat, “and well I guess the rumors were right..” she trails off, “ but AOS just wasn’t for me so I came back.”

Minji nods slowly her mouth forming an ‘o’ shape, “welcome back then.”

“Thank you.”

Silence. As expected from Haerin, the small talk was awfully cut short and she wished she knew how to say something that would get the ball rolling in their conversation.

Instead their stuck with a heavy atmosphere surrounding the two of them as they listen to the slight rambling of the teacher in front of them.

Chemistry wasn’t Haerin’s strong suit. She doesn’t believe anyone could even enjoy a science class properly, the labs? Sure it can fun at times depending on how the teacher sets them up but really, that’s besides the point.

She wasn’t for the periodic table or anything about balancing equations, although chemistry is essential to learn, it just wasn’t in Haerin’s book.

Perhaps she could take advantage of the class, asking Minji for help could be the key to get the ball rolling, even if it wasn’t her strong suit either they can still set up study days which would be a win win situation.

‘We both get the chemistry help we need and we’ll get closer to each other easily.’

Haerin turned to the girl but looked down to her notebook instead of her face, the anxiety of initiating conversation catching up that Minji’s name comes out in a shaky whisper, “Minji-”

“Aren’t I older than you?” Minji interjects, smiling in slight amusement from the non use of honorifics.

Haerin felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment, “sorry Unnie I forgot you were”

She clears her throat, “Err anyways I was wondering if we could help each other with chem? if you don’t mind it’d be nice to get help from you since… your the only one I know here.”

Minji thinks for a second, “so suddenly? We haven’t learned much yet.”

“Well.. I mean we can just brush up on chemistry so we’re further prepared for the class..?” Haerin squints, hesitant upon her own words, Minji didn’t look too up for hanging out with someone she rarely knew.

But Haerin was caught off guard, “sure id love to! When do you wanna do it?”

“You wanna come to this nearby bakery after school today? I’ll pay if you want!”

The older shakes her head, “Haerin what type of Unnie would I be if I just let you pay? I’ll pay for us both don’t worry.”

Haerin’s lips form a thin line, perhaps this was what y/n fell for. Minji’s generosity and overall kindness made Haerin’s heart swell in appreciation as well. Now she doesn’t blame y/n for falling for Minji’s behavior, her aura was simply too friendly. ‘Maybe we can genuinely be friends after I get y/n in contact with me’ she thinks while watching the older girl focus her attention back upon the black board, scribbling notes onto her book, occasionally switching between colored pens.

Generous, kind and academically strong? What more traits does Minji hold up her sleeve?

“Oh wait Haerin! I just forgot I had plans with my girlfriend today after school” she frowns, “how about we do it tomorrow instead? If you don’t mind of course.”

There’s the heart burn Haerin knew she was bound to feel, the mention of the word girlfriend? With y/n behind it? Haerin felt sick to her stomach at someone else referring to y/n as their girlfriend, it’s just something she wasn’t used to since the two have been together longer than miny/n have.

Nonetheless she masks it with a smile, “ooo Unnie you have a girlfriend? You can hang out with her no worries!”

Minji giggles, “thank you Haerin you’re a sweet girl, and yes I do have a girlfriend! Do you know l/n y/n? She’s my girl.”

That same girl was mine too

“Hmm I don’t think so? But that doesn’t matter you go have fun with her”

“You should meet her one day! She’s the cutest girl ever, I think she’ll like you for sure” Minji smiles innocently and Haerin felt the guilt ping in her chest.

You think she’ll still like me? After what I’ve done?

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Taglist (open!!) -> @awkwardtoafault @sofakingwoso @sewiouslyz @idk-idc-rn @everydayiloveyves @jenaissantex @mightymyo @yoontoonwhs @lesleepyyy @sserajeans @kittyrinrinie @urwyf3 @llluvbluy

#minji x reader #newjeans #newjeans imagines #newjeans x reader #haerin x reader #kim minji #wlw #kpop #kpopgg #kang haerin #newjeans scenarios #newjeans fanfic #newjeans smau #hanni x reader #danielle x reader #lee hyein #kpop gg x reader

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dontbotherwiththepronunciation · 8 months

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Have people actually responded overly negatively to your more critical opinions? (Rhetorical question lol; Not doubting it, just a little shocked )

I’m new to the fandom and this makes me almost not want to engage anymore 😅 you’re so polite when expressing your opinions and it never feels like an attack on individual fans but just critical thinking about the source material and fan reactions so this feels. Really sad tbh.

Personal:

It’s kind of you to ask and I’m grateful for your words. I try to be respectful but I’m often afraid of turning into those I hate.

In all honesty, I think a big part of my fear comes from how bad of an experience the 2016 fandom was. Most of the theonbloggers from then are gone now but many of their followers/mutuals/friends who looked and said nothing remain and it automatically makes me more paranoid. The racism and homophobia was unbearable and came from the most popular blogs back then and out of those who remain I can think of only two who moved a finger to stop it.

The present is better but now there’s more of us so it’s less targeted but more prevalent, I think, often even unintentional. Back in February I made a Theon poll and it got criticism. Some of it was fair and constructive, some wasn’t. It was then followed by nasty anons. The nasty anons came back in the recent past over not liking ships involving the squid prince and the Starks. There was also an incident of being accused and shamed for being a thramsay shipper (which I am not). Recently I perceived an uprising of show defenders who criticised book-only people for “gatekeeping”, not accepting show canon and being overall upset about the blatant miscasting of “dark” characters. On the survey there was an abundant majority who were almost aggressively defendant of A|fie A||en as Theon’s actor, yet with exception of my irls, every person agreed he at least did a good job with what was given to him or just praised him. The animosity for him wasn’t present at all but there was a lot of animosity for anyone who might eventually criticise/dislike him as Theon’s actor. I was also vagued about on the survey seven times, on four other different occasions I was attacked due to my wording (someone sent me suicide bait over a misreading of the sexually repressed Theon question), two people accused me of the survey being actually a throbb survey and another one said it was an anti-throbb survey.

There was also a case in which someone misread two questions and mixed them up so they told me all the many fandom trends they loved and then listed the blogs they despised (mine was among them). That one was at least funny and it made me wheeze. I am not even mad at that person, I applaud that audacity.

However, I am still here! Which is test to the fandom on itself because I rarely stay in fandom spaces for longer than six months, at said point I decide to become an hermit and consume stuff by myself (even without negative experiences). I still think this is a vast improvement compared to 2016 and I’ve gotten to meet some really cool people who aren’t always of the same opinion but are respectful and have so many fascinating ideas to explore! It can be so relieving once you find a small niche of people to debate and daydream with (and admittedly sometimes just complain). The mean people on the survey were also just a minority compared to all the rest of the responders, many of which were kind, honest and very open. I often found myself snorting while reading the proposed “wish fulfilment endgames” because you could tell how much they cared for the character. The thought “I want to be friends with this person” was more present on my mind than the few mean responders were.

This was also a less frequent case, but sometimes when people told me about the blogs whose Theon posting they enjoy they would write longer texts explaining why, and some of that was very touching. I wasn’t namedropped often but a few of my mutuals/people I follow were and it always made go “Yes! I agree! They are amazing aren’t they?! I loved their meta on [insert topic] and-“ seeing people gush over their friends is always a joy.

Also someone referred to my posting as “Jeyneposting” and i consider that the most emotionally significative description I could have gotten. Thank you!

TL DR: it’s not all bad. Until now I think it’s worth it. Good luck! : )

#fandom related #speaking

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mmvalentine · 3 years

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The Pianist pt 2 | Jurdan

Modern AU. Read part 1 part 3.

Jude was having a good day.

The landlord had been ignoring her emails, as usual, but somehow Cardan had had a quiet week this week. She would have thought he was away, or sick or something, had she not been seeing him with his friends in their regular booth at the diner. And even those pricks couldn’t get her down today.

She whistled as she tied on her apron.

“Someone’s in a good mood,” Van commented.

“I am,” Jude replied. “Someone left me fifty bucks this morning.”

Van whistled. “Damn, which cafe has those kind of tips?” he asked.

“None of them,” Jude told him. “I was busking at the subway station.”

Jude always spent her free time busking. It was mostly for fun, but she did derive an amount of satisfaction knowing that any of her money, even if it was just a few dollars at a time, came from her singing.

“Well I hate to bring you down, but you’ve got table 13 this morning.”

“I know,” Jude said, sticking her notebook in her apron pocket and picking up the coffee pot. “But you know what? I don’t care today.”

Jude strolled to her table, and stared around at them with a grim determination. The table's usual occupants stared back.

Nicasia, a beautiful dancer with blue hair. Twenty years ago, her mother was the principal dancer at New York City Ballet, and she now sat on the board of directors.

Valerian, an actor who got into a punch up the previous year when he lost a role and nearly got expelled. His parents were wealthy and connected enough that he wasn't.

Locke, who wrote plays and scripts and was vaguely known to dabble in music and dance as well. His father was a Broadway producer and a few of Locke's works had been staged in small theaters already.

And Cardan. The beautiful, talented, awful, hedonistic pianist himself.

"Hello and welcome to Elfhame's diner, what can I get for you?"

She didn't bother with the sickly sweet smile she usually put on for customers. These people were the worst, and she would simply maintain her dignity and not let them get to her. The fifty dollar note was warm in her bra, like a good luck charm.

"Hey... Jude," Nicasia said, peering at Jude's nametag like they hadn't been coming to this diner and served by her several times a week for the past four years. Valerian burst into a Beatles chorus. "You know," she continued, "I've seen you around."

Jude rolled her eyes. "Yes, I've only been working in this diner since you guys started coming here, so you've probably seen me before."

"No," Nicasia said. "Not here."

"Well," Jude responded impatiently. "I also work at Mab's Tavern and Java Island. Girl's gotta eat. I'm 'around'."

But Nicasia shook her head. "No honey, I've seen you seen you. You sing outside the Lincoln Centre subway station."

Jude froze. It was more than confirmation enough for Nicasia, whose eyes took on a predatory glow.

"It is you, I knew I recognised you from somewhere!" Nicasia leaned her chin in her hands. "Sing us something, darling."

"You want music? The jukebox is over there," Jude told her. "Now what do you want to eat?"

"Oh come on," Valerian said, crossing his ankles on the corner of the table. "Let's have a little live entertainment while we eat!"

"Yes," Nicasia purred. "You know, if we like it we might even put a good word in for you at Juilliard."

"I'm sure she's wonderful," Locke said. He looked at her. "Jude, don't listen to them, you don't have to do anything you don't want to."

Cardan said nothing. Just sat with his head on the table, probably nursing a hangover.

"Maybe you could sing us the specials," Valerian suggested. Then he frowned. "Although, if you're terrible, that might put us all off our appetites."

"You can all order now," Jude said, smiling widely, "or you can all have sloppy joes. I don't care one way or the other."

"Touchy," Nicasia frowned. But then she ordered, and the boys followed suit. Valerian broke out in another rendition of 'Hey Jude' as she walked away, until she heard Cardan tell him to kindly shut up. Jude could not comment on his acting ability, but Valerian was a god-awful singer.

/////

Cardan sat with his head on the table and his hangover shoved up his nose.

This week he had actually gotten some sleep. Just not in his bed- he had fallen asleep on the floor most nights, listening to the woman's voice in the downstairs apartment. He had even tinkered the song she sang on the piano once or twice, but then felt so desperately pathetic that he went out with Locke and Valerian last night and they all got black out drunk and woke up in Nicasia's room. Cardan had no memory of going there, but they had all trudged out for a late breakfast this morning and he had no idea how the rest of them were so chipper.

He didn't know what they were talking about but at some stage Valerian started singing- if you could call it that- and Cardan raised his head long enough to order. "Coffee. Just... coffee."

The waitress nodded, and for a second she looked hauntingly familiar. But then she turned on her heel and was gone, and Cardan's forehead found the cool metal surface of the table once more.

Cardan had not heard back from his parents, but now that he knew they were going to be in the audience for his next performance, he suddenly had no idea what to play. He had originally planned to compose something for the occasion, but inspiration had dried up, and he had barely played anything all week. Had very little motivation at all, and might even have just crawled into bed and stayed there had his friends not insisted on dragging him around with them.

The next day they decided to look for the waitress around the different subway stations.

Lord knew why; Cardan hadn't been paying attention because he didn't care much what they had to say at the best of times let alone when the outside air itself seemed to rub harshly against his skin. It was times like these that he had to rather wrack his brain for why these people were his friends in the first place. He supposed they had always been his friends, they were the children of his parents' friends and somehow this made them his own friends by default. Or something like that.

At any rate, he was towed along the subway line, from station to station and in general spending much more time underground in the space of an hour than he had otherwise done all year. Cardan had no idea why they were so determined to find the waitress- she was attractive enough, but Nicasia and Valerian in particular had previously been very vocal about their criteria for who they hung out with. People who worked in diners tended not to make the cut.

Finally, when he could smell more of the Harlem River than he wanted to, Nicasia stopped them.

"There she is," she breathed. And at first, Cardan was just happy to stop walking. But then he heard her.

She was singing 'Ain't No Sunshine,' but Cardan knew her voice from a different song. A wordless lullaby that floated up through the air vents and sang to him at night. A cure for the insomnia that had plagued him for twenty years and then some. He'd know it if she were singing Old MacDonald.

Jude. That was her name, he realised with a jolt. And more surprisingly, she was gorgeous. How had he not realised before? Cardan watched her sing, with her eyes closed and her hands moving, and she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

The other three giggled on the sidewalk, and as the song came to an end, they tripped forward to talk to her. Jude looked around with a smile that could break a man's heart, as the crowd around her applauded. And then she looked up and saw his friends, and her smile vanished. Saw him, and he had no idea what to do once her doe brown eyes were on him. He just turned, and walked quickly away.

Okay okay I think we have direction! Let me know what you think!

****

JURDAN MASTERLIST

TAGLIST: @asteria-of-mars @swankii-art-teacher @loosingdreams @feysand-loml @cityofbookish @story-scribbler

#jurdan #jurdan fic #tfota #mine

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hannitizer · 3 years

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To Have A Home Part 32

A/N: I'M ALIVE! Anyways... Here's Part 32! As always, I hope you enjoy!

Summary: After Draco is found guilty of an attempted murder, he is sentenced to the Lupin’s house with hopes he’ll finally understand what it means to have a family. Only problem? Draco doesn’t want it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Remus came back to the house everything was… not the worst it could be. Draco was back on the couch with Abigail curled tight into her side. He could hear the shaky breaths from his son.

Abigail stopped running her hands through Draco’s hair when she saw Remus, and Draco looked up, mad that the brushing had stopped. When he saw the reason why, however, he found he didn’t mind.

Draco ran over to Remus, throwing his arms around him. He didn’t say anything, so Remus didn’t either. They simply stood there, arms wrapped around each other. Remus didn’t want to rush him, so he waited for his breathing to even out before he even thought of letting Draco go.

After a few moments, Draco found a regular breathing cycle again, and he felt Remus pull away.

“See, there was nothing to worry about. I was just fine where I was.”

“But Mom…”

“That won’t happen again. I know it won't, so you should too.”

Draco nodded his head along, but the clouded look in his eyes made Remus believe that he was not convinced.

“Come on, why don’t we go outside for a little bit; get some fresh air.”

“Better idea; why don’t we have dinner outside!” Abigail walked up behind the two of them. “You two go find a place to sit, and I’ll have Fred and George help me in here. Does that sound good, Draco?”

It took a moment for Draco to respond, but then he shrugged his shoulders. Abigail smiled, squeezing his shoulders.

“Alright, meet you out there.”

She called out for Fred and George to come help her in the kitchen as Draco and Remus made their way outside. They walked around for a few minutes, looking for the best spot for them to set up the picnic. There was the flower garden to the left, and Remus suggested setting up camp there, but Draco shook his head.

“There would be too many bees.” He remarked, pointing to the little dots that looked as if they were suspended in midair.

Remus nodded. “Where do you think that we should go then?”

Draco tugged at his bracelet, trying to get Remus to notice it before he started to speak.

“If this stupid thing were off we could go sit on the tree line.”

Remus chose to ignore his son’s protest. If he were to say anything either way, the rest of the conversation would not end well. He hummed to himself, pretending to be lost in thought before saying, “We could just go sit in the middle of the field. It’s away from the flowers, and there will be a nice breeze.”

He waited for Draco’s response, preparing for an outburst about the bracelet, but instead he was met with a nod of agreement.

“I’ll go find a place with even ground,” said Draco, not bothering to wait and finish his sentence by Remus. The older man chuckled, watching the boy run off. They had come a long way from where they started. Remus remembered when the faintest traces of a smile was all he got from Draco, and even those were a rare occasion.

Soon Fred came out with a large blanket, and Draco instructed him as to where to place it. The three sat there waiting for Abigail and George to appear. And when they did, what a feast to behold. There was so much food, the two together didn’t have enough arms. Some of the food floated easily behind them. They dined like royalty, and sat outside long enough for the sun to start making its way down from the sky. Fireflies started to come out, and Fred and George got up, making a game of how many they could catch. Draco watched them, looking like he wanted to join them, but something was stopping him. He looked back to Abigail and she nodded her head towards them.

“We’re not going anywhere, sweetheart.”

Draco smiled slightly, and got up to join the twins, almost knocking George over in the process. Remus scooted towards his wife, wrapping an arm around her. She sunk into him, watching the boys romp around in the tall grass.

“I could get used to this,” hummed Abigail, “The peace of the night. The boys getting along. This sense of…”

“Contentedness.” Remus finished for her. “And stillness.”

Abigail smiled, nodding. Out in the field Draco had managed to catch a firefly between his hands, his face beaming. Fred and George applauded for him, saying that they’d have to get a jar and make a nightlight. Fred raced off towards the house, and Remus and Abigail could hear him opening and slamming cabinets until he found a jar with a matching lid. He came back outside, where George and Draco had already collected a few more of the bugs to put in the jar.

“Have you told him about Galena yet?”

Remus’s question snapped Abigail back to the present.

“Well, yes. I said that someone would be coming tomorrow to talk to him about whatever he wants to talk about. I don’t want this to be something that he’s worried over all night.”

“From what I’m seeing, I don’t think that that’s a problem.”

Draco was holding the jar in his hands, watching the fireflies as they flew around in the jar. Fred and George were collecting twigs and leaves and things to put in the jar for the insects, joking all the while. And once again, it was peaceful. After a while of the boys running around, Abigail declared it was time to go inside and get ready for the night, to which none of the boys argued. They helped clean up and made their way inside, shutting the door to a calm, peaceful night.

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mumufic · 3 years

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Some additional notes on characterization

For The Three Sisters, I’m trying to write a coming of age story with a lot of rather abnormal elements (hello, time travel and first Wizarding War!) and since I want to write the characters I have here growing into who we eventually come to know of them when they’re older, I guess you can expect:

Some of them start out rather ignorant. Sirius and Regulus (when he does appear for longer than a cameo, he’s a little shit, and not a particularly likable one) come to mind here, because of their family background. The thing is, despite the fact that Sirius is obviously progressive and inclusive, he wouldn’t really know how to frame a lot of things in ways that wouldn’t be offensive unless someone taught him how to. Kids learn by example, and the only example of words and reasoning he has are his parents and other relatives, and all of them are bigots. I’ve already covered his use of the word “mudblood” in my previous post. There’ll come times when he sounds a little like Malfoy: a little elitist, a little braggadocious, especially when it comes to his family’s privilege. And the thing is, in some ways, this is perfectly understandable too. The Black brothers in this story have had very little socialization with other children, and when they do, it’s also to other extremely privileged, magical kids. So expect some level of schooling (ok, a lot levels of schooling) for Sirius. I expect James would suffer from this as well, probably even worse than Sirius, in some respects. James has been brought up in a tolerant and loving home, but he’s an only child whose parents doted on him so much, he’s become a little arrogant. I want to be able to show them growing from their arrogance and ignorance organically, because I don’t think they come out of the box being the wonderful, loving people Harry knew in the books.

Some of them can be very mean-spirited. Petunia, Holly, James and Sirius all fall in this category. We already know about Petunia because of her actual characterization in canon, and I don’t want to do away with that. I’m writing a Petunia Evans redemption arc, yes, but I don’t want to do a personality transplant with her, so yes, she can have a mean streak, even once she’s shown to start becoming an actual likable person. Holly doesn’t have a mean streak - that isn’t how Harry Potter is characterized in the books, but when it comes to anyone associated with the Death Eaters, her hatred knows no bounds. Remember that as far as she’s concerned, Snape killed Dumbledore without remorse, Lucius Malfoy tried to curse her when she was in second year, and Bellatrix Lestrange killed her aunt and uncle, however much she disliked them, right in front of her. Her anger, the meanness, it comes from a pretty damn deep well of pain, no matter whether she chooses to dwell on it or not. On top of that, she’s still a Horcrux here, and that Horcrux? Actively corrupting her. James and Sirius played canonically mean-spirited pranks on people, that James only stopped doing when he started to mature right around seventh year, and there’s little indication that Sirius actually stopped being rather mean at all. All that dumping on Peter? Canon provides evidence. Just check Snape’s Worst Memory and The Prince’s Tale, not to mention how Sirius displays an astounding lack of remorse over the fifth year prank he played on Snape that nearly resulted in Snape’s death. And you know what, I like writing that. I don’t expect 11- and 12-year-old kids to be little angels. They’d be hella boring to write if they were.

Some of them can be rather fickle. I’ve got upcoming chapters where Holly and Sirius are like this, Holly mostly pertaining to what she wants to do about the war, and Sirius about manners, decorum and respect. Let’s unpack this. Holly is a 17-year-old trapped in an 11-year-old’s body. Her last memory from her timeline is waiting to start her quest to hunt Horcruxes, a quest Dumbledore entrusted her, in order to end the war. She gets transported back in time, trapped in a much younger body, and treated by everyone as if she was in fact eleven, even by the people who know she’s older. Suddenly, it’s like she’s a little kid again, and people expect her to act like a kid. Nobody wants her to be all grown up, and all the company she keeps are young kids. Yes, she should know better than to engage in childish arguments and fights, but she’s so immersed in being a kid again that her maturity starts stagnating, and at times, even regressing, because she’s suddenly have to reason with kids, which means she constantly has to put herself in a kid’s mindset in order to understand where they’re coming from. Doing shit like that everyday, with no rest to be what you truly are? It’s a mindfuck. Before long, you start forgetting that you’re something else and not what you’re pretending to be. That’s what’s happening to her here. There are occasions when she’s forgotten that she’s older, she’s more mature. She starts acting like the children that she has in constant company. She’d feel bad about being petty in hindsight, but not while it’s going on. And I think that’s valid. As for Sirius, I’ve got some bits of exposition sprinkled in about how his upbringing was like besides the blood supremacy rhetoric, and believing that the Blacks are owed the world. Sirius learned manners, decorum and respect from Andromeda (it’s in Chapter 7: The End of Summer) and by all accounts, Andromeda was a rather strict teacher. So we can expect Sirius to be mostly formal, even a little stiff, have impeccable manners, and the perfect polite gentleman in normal conversation. So why does he try to high-five Remus when Remus fell over Holly? Well, he’s still eleven, and he’s seen James applaud bad behavior, and probably thinks it must be fine then because James thinks it’s fine. He’ll applaud it especially if he thinks it’s either retaliatory or mean to Slytherins, because he obviously hates them.

Some of them can’t seem to make up their minds as to whether they like someone. So this will crop up a lot in second year, primarily on Holly and Sirius, and to a certain extent, Remus. Holly basically thinks the boys are all gross. She’s 17, they’re 11. Kids are gross. Remus is a kid with a crush, who responds to said crush in a pretty healthy way: he engages with them, talks to them more, looks out for them, but absolutely will not say anything or do anything about his crush. Why? Well, the easy answer is that he’s a werewolf, and Remus has been fed all his growing up years about how lycanthropy is contagious (Lyall Lupin was extremely prejudiced against werewolves, until his own son was bitten, so there’s every likelihood that Remus would have internalized a lot of his father’s rhetoric, especially after he was bitten, leading him to decide that he must not be allowed to procreate. As a child, that’s equivalent to not being allowed to even have crushes or have their crushes like them back.) Sirius is a bit strange to write. He doesn’t actually have a crush, but his parents have made a proposal on his behalf, one he hates. He doesn’t want it, but at the same time, it consumes him to find that the person his parents have intended for him doesn’t appear to want him, when they should! He’s the Heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black! They should be privileged that the Blacks even want them for him. But at the same time, he’s utterly repulsed by the idea of having to marry someone, be with someone he might not even care for. Man, that’s hell of a lot of spoilers, but all of it’ll make sense when second year comes around.

And, I think that’s all the meta I can come up with for this fic for now. I’m sure I’ll be back, wanking on here again some time later to talk about other aspects of my fic.

My dilemma now: I feel like I had so much happen in second year that I’ve nothing to write bout in third year. So you know what you’re going to get for third year? Puberty.

Yes, that means zits and periods.

#the three sisters #fanfic writing #fanfic update

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calumrose · 4 years

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Tea & Coffee || L.H

A//N: I’ve been trying to work on a few side pieces as well while I’m trying to finish up Trigger so I’m using a few prompts for small one shots as well as trying to work on a few bigger one shots which will be coming in due course. I hope you guys enjoy this little piece as much as I do, just a little Best Friend!Luke one shot to pass the time. Enjoy!

64. “It’s two sugars, right?”

Finding herself sat on the familiar porch wasn’t exactly where she had wanted to find herself on a Saturday night. It was the last place Devon expected to end up, especially after everything. But somehow, she found herself back where it all started; head on Luke’s shoulder with his arm around her as they stared up into the dusty pink sky.

As much as she hated Los Angeles for the crowds and torturous traffic, she had to applaud the breath-taking sunsets that cascaded across the busy city on a popular occasion. It was a sight she never tired of.

“It’s pretty,” Her voice was soft, almost as delicate as the shades of pink and orange that danced across the evening sky. God, she felt so stupid for being there. But she knew she was welcomed, no matter what the time of day, she knew Luke would never turn her down.

“Yeah, it is,” Luke helplessly agreed with her, something he found himself doing all too often without even realising.

He found his blue eyes drifting to the girl who leaned against him, her bare knee knocking absently against his as they sat perched on the steps of the porch of his home, the cool evening breeze dancing through the air as they sat in tranquil bliss.

Devon had always been important to him through the years, someone to turn to when he needed advice, someone who would listen when he thought he had come up with a genius concept for a song but wanted to get an outside perspective before taking it to his bandmates. She was so much more than the girl next door to him; she was everything to him. Even when he believed he wasn’t the same to her.

“C’mon, let’s go inside,” He nudged his shoulder gently, large hand squeezing her shoulder warmly as he moved to stand up, holding his hand out for her to grab.

They walked inside, making their way into the kitchen, Devon taking place on the countertop, using her hands to brace herself as she jumped up, watching as Luke stood against the counter opposite her. They had to talk, her phone call had come out of nowhere, saying she needed to get out for a bit.

Luke knew something had happened, so of course he didn’t hesitate in waiting by his front door, watching from the side as Devon left her home across the street and padded over to him, hoodie hanging low around her thighs where the bottom of her shorts peeped out, untied sneakers loosely flopping against her feet as she walked.

“You want a coffee?” He asked, raising an eyebrow in question, his feet carrying his tall frame towards his coffee machine, fingers working expertly as he turned it on, reaching up into the cupboard where he kept his collection of various sized coffee mugs.

“When have I ever drank coffee?” Devon countered, a small chuckle escaping her chapped lips as she swung her legs absentmindedly, the heels of her sneakers quietly banging against the wooden counter with every few swings.

“Oh yeah, I forgot you were the same age as my grandmother,” Luke teased, playfully rolling his eyes as he reached into the cupboard on his left, hand grasping the foreign – yet oddly familiar – small jar of tea bags he kept in the house. He often teased Devon about her love of tea, shaking his head as he remembered the first time that he attempted to get her to try a cup of his favourite brewed coffee, the image of her scrunched-up face bringing a nostalgic smile to his lips.

Luke couldn’t hold back the fond smile on his face as he looked into the cupboard, searching for the familiar mugs that had silently became theirs. It wasn’t the most exciting story but coffee was actually how Luke met Devon, both meeting as early teens who got their first jobs in the local coffee shop, becoming fast friends as they spent the majority of their shifts giggling and being told off by management for messing around.

Luke had always been the one who had the knack for making good coffee, Devon knew that although she didn’t particularly enjoy the highly favoured drink. He had a talent for creativity which only transpired to how he was so talented when it came to music. He was destined to be creative, even from an early age.

Coffee had become their thing, always trying to out-do each other at the end of a shift, trying to see who could make the best concoction, or who could make the most disgusting on the odd occasion. It had been something that brought them together when times got tough, spending time together over a cup of a steaming caffeinated drink, exchanging nothing but fond smile and laughter, but unfortunately when Devon met Nate, their coffee games soon become few and far between.

She stopped hanging around after shift for Luke, clocking out as soon as she was done, giving him a quick goodbye before meeting her boyfriend outside of the shop and disappearing into the distance. She stopped offering to close up with him, requesting earlier shifts, so they saw each other less and less as the days went by. Very quickly, it had begun to feel like she forgot who Luke was, as if she had forgotten everything they had.

“Listen Luke, I uh… I’m sorry,” She sounded heartbroken – well she was – especially after what had unfolded not too long ago.

He didn’t respond at first, rolling his lips into his mouth as he grasped onto the mug of his choice, placing it down onto the countertop before reaching in and clutching the handle of the familiar green one that Devon had silently claimed as her own over the years. He let the coffee machine brew for a few minutes, already having flicked the switch on the kettle to boil for Devon’s tea. One hand resting lazily in the back pocket of his jeans as he tried to figure out what to say to the girl who he thought so highly of, his eyes searching desperately for a focal point just so he didn’t have to face her. He didn’t know if he could see the pain in her eyes again, unsure of if he could stand to see her like that.

“I know we haven’t spoken in a bit, but I um…” Devon trailed off, sighing heavily as she rubbed her bare face, eyes puffy from the lack of sleep the night before, as she tried to muster the strength to say what she so desperately wanted to apologise for.

“Listen, Dev, just- don’t worry about it,” He spoke up, hand reaching out across the counter, clutching the lid of the sugar pot as he dragged it closer to him, grasping a small spoon from the drawer to his left before setting it down, turning in place so he could face his friend.

He leaned his lower back against the countertop, hands on either side as he clutched the edge to support himself. The sound of the coffee machine grinding behind them hummed quietly in the background, filling in the silence that was left between them. The loud clack of the kettle echoed momentarily, signalling that the water was boiled, but Luke didn’t move from where he stood.

They had gone from being as close as siblings to barely seeing one another in a matter of days; Devon spending all of her time with Nate, and Luke had begun to invest the majority of his time into his music, working with his bandmates in order to make something of themselves.

He kept in touch with her over the most recent tour, texting her back and forth to tell her where he was, telling her how the show went, and constantly inviting her out to come and see a show. She always excused herself, saying she was too caught up with work and didn’t have the time off. He could sense even through text that something was eating away at her, but he never had it in him to pry or push her to open up.

Devon had never been the most talkative when it came to her problems, he knew that. But he always made sure that she knew he was there if she needed him, telling her that no matter the time or day, she could always come over to talk. And when she was forced to move back in with her grandparents who – coincidently – lived across the street from Luke, she didn’t really have an excuse not to take him up on the offer.

And funnily enough, a phone call later and she was scurrying across the street to his house, a large hoodie thrown over her body as she made a beeline for his front door, so people didn’t have much of an opportunity to spot her Disney pyjama shorts. Very fashionable, Devon.

“You could go years without talking to me and I would still be here for you if you called me up,” Luke’s fond eyes met her green ones, tongue pushing lightly against his bottom teeth, “You’re my best friend, Devon, I’ll always be here for you,”

“What did I do to deserve a friend like you, Luke?”

That word stung a bit, he couldn’t lie to himself. Although he had said it previously, hearing her call him friend hurt more than he thought it would. After all, it was all that they were.

They had been close for so many years, and for so long Luke had only dreamt about what it would be like to be more. But he never pushed, enjoying the bond that they shared over the years although they had grown apart when she met Nate, but when they rekindled it was as if nothing had changed.

“It’s two sugars, right?” His question echoed in her ears, his back turned to her as he spooned the white granules into his own mug before scooping a few to tip into her own.

“You remember?” She sounded almost surprised, as if it were possible for him to forget something so small.

“Of course,” Luke almost scoffed a laugh, a corner of his lips upturned as he stirred the contents of Devon’s lime green mug before handing it over to her, holding his own in his spare hand before standing a few feet away, “How could I ever forget?”

He took a gentle sip, the steaming liquid only slightly burning his upper lip, the sensation something he had grown used to over the years. His baby blues watched as she cupped the mug in her palms, blowing away the almost white steam before taking a soft sip, her eyes closing in bliss as the warm hearty taste tantalised her taste buds. Even though it came from a tea bag, Devon couldn’t deny that tea never tasted better than when Luke made it.

Nothing was better than Luke... He remembered the things that everyone else would forget or need to be reminded of; her birthday, how many times she took her driving test, how she took her tea.

“Good?” He raised an eyebrow in question, as he took another sip of his own warm beverage.

“Great,” She corrected, smiling graciously at the tall blond, “You were always better than me at making tea and coffee,”

“Nice to know I’m good for something,” He teased, sending a quick bounce of his eyebrows as he held the mug a small distance from his lips, as if he was about to take another cautious sip.

But what he didn’t know was that Devon knew everything. She knew exactly what he was good for; she knew he was patient, he was loving, that he was the kindest soul she had ever met.

Her breakup with Nate hadn’t been pretty, it had quite literally torn her apart. She thought she loved him, when in reality maybe all she felt was the infatuation for the feeling of love, confusing the desire for the real thing. Turning up at their shared apartment to clear out her things was a weird experience, her Gramps parked outside waiting for her as she collected the belongings from where she had resided for the past few years.

It surprised her how quickly and blatantly Nate had thrown away the years they had spent together. But what scared her, was how she had done the same thing to Luke, and the fact that it had taken for Nate to end things for her to realise that. Yes, she kept in touch, but since Nate had come into her life, she focused mainly on him, almost disregarding the blond who had been by her side since she was a teen.

Now here she was, sat in his kitchen like they would find themselves after many a night of partying before they became few and far between, coffee in hand as she looked into the blue irises of the man who she hated to admit had her heart from the very beginning.

Maybe that’s why she never truly felt as though she loved Nate. Her heart belonged to another, and no matter how hard she tried to deny it, the bond they shared was just too strong to fight anymore. But what if she lost him? She nearly lost him once before due to her ignorance, but what if this time would just be the sealing of the deal? Maybe she just had to grow up and bite the bullet. Maybe she just needed to do what she feared and admit to how she felt.

It had been weeks since her and Nate called it quits. This wasn’t a rebound, it was anything but. It was what she wanted. At least she was sure it felt that way.

All she had to do was get over her worry of losing him and start to embrace him for what he was; someone who was more than just her best friend. All she had to do was tell him how she felt.

And there was no better time to do that, over a cup of coffee like that they shared a hundred times before.

“There was something that I actually wanted to talk to you about,” Devon cleared her throat, the warmth of the mug between her palms feeling as though it heated her entire body, a nervous flush taking over as she tried to mentally prepare what she wanted to say. She never got nervous around Luke in all their years of friendship, but now suddenly she felt like an anxious preteen, awaiting their exam results. “And, uh…”

Luke perched his eyebrows, placing the coffee cup down onto the counter as he kept his eyes focused on her, watching as her facial expression changed as she scurried through the script she wanted to believe she had in her mind; something to guide her with what to say to him.

How was she supposed to tell her best friend that she thinks she’s in love with him? How do you confess that casually?

You can’t.

It took Devon a minute to realise that. Which is why she just had to come out and say it.

“I think I’m in love with you, Luke,” She confessed, her cheeks flushed pink to match the deep shade of her hoodie, “And I think I always have been,”

---

From this prompt list

Tag List: @steviemae @elsysoza @treatallwithkindness @oopsiedoopsie23

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings #luke hemmings blurb #luke hemmings blurbs #luke hemmings imagines #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings one shot #5sos one shot #5sos imagines #5sos blurbs #5sos imagine #5sos blurb

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thesimplyluxuriouslife · 3 years

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307: How to Step into your Fullest True Self — The Way of Integrity, as taught by Martha Beck

"Your life will tell you the truth." —Martha Beck, author of The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self

Divided. Compartmentalized. Unable to give what is needed, not by choice, but by pure, sincere inability due to time and energy.

Martha Beck explains in her new book, The Way of Integrity, the word integrity originates from the Latin integer meaning "in tact" and therefore cementing the definition of integrity as "to be one thing, whole and undivided".

When we are not living a life of integrity, we are not being true to ourselves, nor the world. Now you might be thinking about the general and more commonly known definition of integrity - living by your 'values' or abiding by the morals society applauds of, but that is not what Beck writes about in her book. Instead, Beck looks at the true meaning of the word and applies it to each of us individually - a life of integrity is a one when you have aligned your body, mind, heart and soul - your actions, your mental strength, your true self - you set yourself free. In the introduction she uses a phrase commonly known on this blog/podcast - you achieve a sustainable joie de vivre. "You may not believe that such a fulfilling life is possible. It is," Beck states with calm, assured confidence and goes on throughout the rest of the book, speaking from her own incredibly challenging and terrifying and finally liberating life journey, indeed what she shares is true.

"No matter how far you think you've strayed from your true path, the moment you say I'm going to trust myself, I'm going to follow my truth, the healing begins."

Beck's book crossed my path just after I had officially and publicly announced a resolve to live my own life of integrity as I had turned in my resignation papers concluding a 20-year career in teaching public education at the secondary level. I arrived at my decision after more than a few years of hemming and hawing about such a choice being necessary for me to live fully in alignment with what I knew to be true in my heart of hearts, and as I shared in my May episode of the video series A Cuppa Moments (learn more about becoming a TOP Tier subscriber and discover more intimately why I made this decision here), it wasn't about running away, it was about running toward something I loved even more.

Another way of looking at the way of integrity is much like putting together a puzzle. It can be especially hard to rationalize why we should leave something when on paper and to onlookers everything hums along beautifully, but if the puzzle doesn't allow your nature to be nurtured, as Beck describes, when you are "rushing to conform . . . often ignoring or overruling [y]our genuine feelings—even intense one, like longing or anguish—to please your culture . . . you've divided yourself. [You] aren't in integrity (one thing) but in duplicity (two things)." In other words, the puzzle isn't your puzzle to be a part of. Having the courage to step away from something that works, even if we languish while others shine is not living a life of integrity.

"When you pursue a career that pulls you away from your true self, your talent and enthusiasm will quit on you like a bored intern."

The question we each need to ask ourselves is "Does the culture nurture your nature?" Pause for a second before answering because I would have answered yes a couple of years ago, but upon reflection, with more truths revealed, and after reading her book, my answer whilst trying to teach and write, is most certainly no.

How do you know if you are out of your integrity?

1."Your life goes pear-shaped"

Beck reveals how our inability to communicate civilly, snapping at people we love, letting ourselves be distracted regularly by rabbit holes on the internet, and on the health side - your "immune system and muscles becomes weaken . . . emotionally feeling grumpy, sad or numb." Focus and clarity — difficult to maintained, sickness is more frequent and energy is depleted. All of these 'symptons' are red flags your life is out of integrity.

Let's end this point on some good news: "Integrity is the cure to unhappiness. Period."

2. Living a life governed by the 'should's and 'supposed to' expectations

Living simply luxuriously, at its core is built upon questioning society, putting into practice critical thinking skills and thereby thinking well. When we think well, removing our biases and acknowledging the short-sightedness as well as true motivations of the culture we live in, we can think clearly and free ourselves from the pressures and guilt placed upon us to live a certain way. Even if 'your way' seems simple compared to significant societal differences such as announcing you are an atheist in a family full of devout believers of any one religious institutional faith, acknowledging your truth regarding your gender even if your family or friends cannot understand your truth, or standing up for a political issue which forces your family to confront their own long-held unconscious biases. Your way of integrity needs to be honored to set yourself free.

Beck writes in detail about her own breaking free from the 'should's when she speaks about her stepping away from Mormonism (receiving death threats for doing so), sharing with the world and her husband that she is gay, and choosing to keep her child who she knew to have Downs Syndrome (even though at the time, people she respected urged her to not to). In great emotional, yet step-by-step detail, she shares how she made it to the other side and because each decision was her truth, she set herself free. She stopped living the life she was 'supposed to' and stepped courageously into a life of integrity.

3. Emotional Struggles

"Whenever you lose your integrity, you'll feel your own unique brew of bad moods, depending on your personality . . . anxiety and depression [or] . . . free-floating hostility, itching to punch everyone in your office, familiy, zip code [or] . . . full-on panic attacks, especially during special occasions."

For me, leaving teaching felt culturally 'wrong'. What I mean by that is, teaching and being a teacher is held in high regard, as, in my bias, yet as much as it is to not be biased mind, it should be. So leaving a profession which society holds in esteem felt to already be making the 'wrong' decision. However, as Beck calls them, my 'wild beasts' of bad moods would arise in the weirdest of times. I knew something was not in alignment, but nearly all of my acquaintances, friends and even my mother, were or are teachers. So how do you have a conversation with them about leaving a profession they are already in and most sincerely love and have found their calling? In my case, you keep teaching.

4. Bad habits — can't break them

The bad habits could be an onslaught of a variety of behaviors ranging from less harmful to incredibly life destructive, but anything which does not constructively add to your life and the quality of your days is a bad habit. Whether financial expenditures, drinking or eating habits, relationship failure after failure because you refuse to have the ability to either see or change what needs to be addressed, such habits stay with us becase "when [you're] feeling fundamentally lost, afflicted by purposelessness, foul moods, and bad jobs, anything that stimulates the brain's pleasure centers can become an addiction."

I can thankfully say, I had a positive outlet for my lack of finding purpose in teaching: blogging which turned into podcasting, which turned into cooking, which became my pleasure and purpose and I am incredibly grateful I honored my curiosity to explore what this 'blogging thing' was all about way back in 2009. I don't think we all have to have horrible habits so much so it becomes painfully obvious to outsiders we are not on the right life path for true integrity, but what I appreciate about Beck's book is bringing to our attention habits which if we are being honest with ourselves, aren't helpful to living a life we sincerely love living, but we keep engaging in said habit because we need the pleasure, we need something to 'feel' good because so much doesn't and we don't know or don't have the courage yet to step off the path that isn't ours to walk upon.

How to return or begin to live a life of integrity?

1.Stop lying

"Here's the rub: if you stop lying, you'll eventually, inevitably violate the rules of a culture that matters to you."

Stop lying when responding casually to the question, "How are you doing?" Be comfortable with expressing your exuberance about the day or exhaustion. The passive, default way of living is not living and it's not the way of integrity. How we connect with others, truly connect, is to be honest. I find that our culture is more comfortable with complaining even though America strives to be happy at all times. It is as though we must not be 'too happy' lest someone either question what makes us happy or want our happiness, when the truth is, there is not a limited supply. However, most Americans are too exhausted to want to figure out their own unique way to happiness. Again, this is a push-back on culture, not the people living within the culture. Admittedly, yes, a culture is made up by people, but when we recognize we are complicit in any culture which doesn't wish for its people to find peace and contentment, we must question it. That is an exercise in critical thinking. And how we do that is by finding our own way of integrity and living it.

2. Knuckle down for the first step of changing your life - it will be hard

Be prepared, the first step, the first shift you make will be the most difficult and will feel impossible on your way to fully being your true self. But the good news is, it is 'steepest at the start'.

And in even better news, because you are stepping into your integrity, let that energy be your fuel. Just as it did for Dante (Beck's entire book parallels the journey of Dante through the levels of Hell in Dante's Inferno, Part I of The Divine Comedy) who because he wanted to be set free "so damn much" used that "intense wanting" to "propel him forward over terrain he doesn't believe he can cover."

3. Acknowledging and walking away from 'bad or disordered' love

"'Bad' or 'disordered' love emerges when people are well-meaning but mistaken—for example, when we feel loyal to people and ideas that don't match our inner truth."

So many of Beck's anecdotes are specific and clearly teach what she is introducing to readers. On this point she shares, "You might stop laughing at your coworker's crude jokes. You may come out as gay or trans. You may start posting things on social media that shock your loved ones. You may turn into some version of Rosa Parks, refusing to give up her bus seat to a white person." In sharing these examples, she reveals how quickly our lives will change when we step away from 'bad' love. And it happens quickly because while you've known for quite some time your truth, you haven't shared it with those who you've let keep 'loving' you in a way that serves their needs, but neglects yours.

4. Be prepared to contemplate returning to old ways (even if they weren't true to you)

Prior to deciding to leave teaching, I chose to regularly see my counselor, and I am grateful I did. On this point, she reminded me, after always checking in with me about how I was feeling about my decision (once I had decided I would write my resignation letter) that there will be mourning for the 'old misery'. In other words, the life you know and are leaving, you will at times - whether in your dreams or in different states where you are emotionally weak or exhausted (these times especially were when my doubts would arise) - seriously doubt the decision you are about to make. What is happening is natural, and it does subside in time as I can share now after having felt those moments of mourning for the known misery. "Studies in psychoneuroimmunology show that if we plunge too quickly into any major change, even a good one, our bodies and minds can't absorb the shock. We must give our psycholoigcal and physiological systems time to adjust."

How we give ourselves this time is where the phrase "mourning the known misery" comes from. And it is knowing that such a temporary state exists that we are able to better navigate through this time and into a life in which we are fully embracing our true nature. A few words from Beck on this subject,

"If you start honoring your true nature and find yourself missing your old culture, don't panic. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself time and space to grieve. Confide in loved ones. If they don't understand, find a coach or therapist. But don't think that missing your old life means you should go back to it."

5. A life transformed for the better

"Whatever you do to heal the world, it will replace [bad health, habits, moods, etc. - what Beck refers to as 'dark wood of error symptoms'] with purpose, happiness, vitality, love, abundance, and fascination that specifically match your true nature."

Perhaps this all sounds too good to be true, but simply the fact that you are thinking that is the hope you have unconsciously, that you hope it can be true. That it can be possible.

Benefits of finding your way to integrity and living it daily

1. A life full of "meaning, enchantment and fascination"

The world needs what you uniquely can give to it. When we each find the courage to honor our nature especially when the culture doesn't nurture it, we step forward toward a life full of meaning and we as well become uplifted and enthralled with the awesome life we have the good fortune to live.

Beck points out that thankfully, 'nature doesn't give up without a fight', so if you are doubting that it is too late, that you've waited too long, no it's not and no you haven't. The mere fact that you are still contemplating, wishing, hoping, wondering is nature's strength of hanging on until you finally take action to courageously find your way of integrity.

2. Breath-taking moments are experienced beyond what the culture tells you is possible

"Obviously, no one will have taught you how to navigate such wonders. No worries. You'll learn fast. You were born for it."

If happiness, and based on having read this book, I think more deeply it fits the definition of contentment, if contentment is something you could buy in the store and be promised a life of awe, wonder, peace, would you buy it? What if I told you it was free? I have a feeling some would question it must be too good to be true, but that is our conditioning when it comes to believing in how possible living well is. We have been conditioned to believe happiness can only be pursued, not attained, AND that only so many people are capable of attaining it so we must hurry up and chase it down, ignoring the present and constantly live in the future. But that is errant thinking.

The ability to attain contentment for free is possible because it exists within us each already. Our true nature, our true selves, has always been with us. We now just need to let it speak. In other words, let ourselves speak honestly, truthfully, and the world begins to change for the better. Not only for each one of us who courageously takes this step, but for all of us, as we begin to see who each of us actually is, how diverse and awesome we actually are and how to think well without unconscious manipulation.

3. A stronger you both physically and emotionally

As you begin to step off the wrong path and onto your way of integrity, there will be push-back, but wonderfully, you will be more capable than you might have ever imagined because, "Even if the people around [you] raise merry hell, [you] find yourself coping—more than that, thriving—more easily than [you'd] imagined."

4. A more peaceful you

The truth about feeling drained, emotionally exhausted is not necessarily the environment's fault, but rather that we shouldn't be in that environment. We are needed some place else. Find that and find your peace.

5. A life of inner harmony

True contentment, as shared on TSLL many times previously, is capable of being experienced even during the most difficult of moments and heartbreaking days and events. Why? When you've found and know what inner harmony is, an alignment of your true self - body, mind, heart and soul - you tend to what you have control over and acknowledge what you don't. You are living a life of truth in your actions, words and thoughts, and you are strengthened knowing how to navigate forward well, modeling and, when applicable, and you are capable, nurturing those around you forward as well with kindness and compassion.

6. Find your people who 'get' you

"If you don't walk your true path, you don't find your true people."

Ah, while I have met so many amazing people during my years as a teacher whether the staff and colleagues I have been incredibly fortunate and privileged to work alongside, the many, many parents who's love and tireless efforts to raise children in a world that is ever-changing, and especially the awesome students who through their natural strengths and honed skills, learning from struggles and finding truths along the way, my connection has been professional as I kept, for the most part, my writing life compartmentalized from my teaching life.

Once I finally began talking about what I love about blogging, which was only this spring (except to one, maybe two people over the years), a burden on my shoulders was lifted and I felt free. Some don't understand what I am stepping fully into and our relationships, even though respectfully colleagial, have lessened, but to others, we've had even more honest conversations than we have ever had. And this is just the beginning.

"We simply can't chart a course to happiness by linking up with others who are as lost as we are. The path to true love—true anything—is the way of integrity."

In order to fully and deeply connect with others we must be our true selves - no holding back, no editing, no 'hoping they like us'. When we are our true selves, it doesn't matter if everyone gets us so long as we let ourselves be set free, and that is what draws others of similar understanding and those who can see our honest and raw expression and who appreciate such strength will be drawn to, and those are the people you want to connect with. Those are the people with whom healthy, loving relationships spring from.

7. Balance

Yes, balance is possible (although our culture would have us believe otherwise, believing it is a skill to master, being constantly thrown from side to side, stressor to next stressor - don't buy into this myth!). In The Divine Comedy, Virgil writes something that 'stuns Dante. All these 'sins' are actually based in love. Sloth, greed, gluttony, and lust are simply unbalanced relationships with rest, abundance, nourishment and sex. We can err by either compulsively indulging or rigidly repressing our natural relationship with these things. This lack of balance doesn't come when we allow union with our true nature, but when we split ourselves away from it. It's misguided thinking, not natural behavior, that causes us to stray from our innocence."

Our innocence is our true selves. Our true self is found and experienced when we step into the way of integrity. Bravely doing so, courageously striding, becoming ever more stronger and exhilarated with each step.

8. Fulfill your long-term heart's desires

For this last point in today's post/episode, I'll leave you with Beck's words as she reflects on her own life journey and teaches us one of the grandest benefits of finding your own way of integrity, embracing your true self:

"As this internal shift occurred, life seemed to deliver more and more of the things I'd longed for during my life. I began to imagine that the universe works like this: whenever we humans long for something, the Powers That Be immediately send it. But everything we've ordered is always delivered to our real home address: peace. This is why we struggle for things in a state of desperation, they don't come to us—nothing works when it's misaligned. But when we return to a state of peace, the things we've 'ordered' can finally reach us."

— Martha Beck, The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self (2021)

The way of integrity is a path through and with life that makes you excited simply to envision it for a moment. You may breathe a sigh of relief and a smile creeps upon your face spontaneously each time you dare to think what you imagine could be your real life. I have been so incredibly excited to share today's episode with you because while my last day of teaching doesn't occur for another two weeks, the announcement has been made, the reality has been put into place, and a peace not-yet-known-until-now is already being felt (yes, moments of mourning the known misery creep up, but they are fewer and fewer, and now I know immediately where they stem from and how to navigate respectfully through these feelings).

Living simply luxuriously doesn't just happen and it indeed takes time. When we learn the skills necessary for living a life of true contentment, we can then begin to build what will be unique to each of us. The foundation of a fulfilling, joy-filled life, is to realign yourself with your true self. To conclude with more sagacity from Martha Beck on making our way to integrity, "Not because this path is virtuous, but because it aligns you with reality, with truth. Your life will work for the same reason a well-built plane will fly. Not a reward for good behavior. Just physics." Logical and simultaneously honoring the full humanity of each and every one of us.

SHOP Martha Beck's book The Way of Integrity | Amazon | Bookshop.org

PETIT PLAISIR

~Lupin, on Netflix

~Learn more about this episode's Petit Plaisir on this specially dedicated post.

PART ONE, Trailer (season 1)

https://youtu.be/Y3tVDKuORi8

PART ONE, Trailer (season 1)

https://youtu.be/53cCYOIOEQc

~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #307

~Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate: iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio | YouTube | Spotify

Tune in to the latest episode of The Simple Sophisticate podcast

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blu-joons · 5 years

Text

BTS Reaction: He Proposes To You

Jin:

He had taken you to a nice restaurant for the night, having just come back off tour he was desperate to spend time with you. You noticed after your main course he snuck off for a while to the bar, not bringing any drinks back with him.

As the night drew on, Jin’s nerves grew, he was desperate for everything to go perfect. For once, there were no jokes or gimmicks, this had to go perfect.

“Are you having a nice night?” He asked you through the middle of your main course.

You looked up, taking a sip of your wine, “I am thank you love. This place is amazing, I can’t believe you haven’t brought me here before.”

“Well, I like to save it for special occasions.” You chose to ignore his comment, date night was always special, it was time that the two of you shared that Jin treasured.

Desert was ordered, the two of you sat enjoying each other’s company, a waiter finally bringing two plates of food over. Jin’s ice cream was placed before him, your apple pie in front of you. You looked down at it, only to see chocolate sauce written into quite possibly the biggest question of your life.

“Jin,” you whispered, your breath taken away, chuckling at the panic in his face as he watched you take it all in.

“What do you say?” Jin asked, sliding off of his chair to come beside you, revealing a diamond engagement ring he had kept in his pocket. “I love you so much, and I couldn’t think of a better person to spend the rest of my life with. You’ve been there with me through all my ups and downs when so many others would have walked away, will you please do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

You didn’t have to think, responding with an, “’of course.”

By this point the whole restaurant were watching you, applauding as you pulled Jin up into a massive hug. His lips peppered across your face, squeezing you so tight you nearly lost all the air you had in you.

“I love you too handsome.” You added, just to be sure, running your hands through his soft, dark locks.

Yoongi:

The two of you laid in bed, a random film playing in the background. Your body lay on Yoongi’s chest, wrapping your arms tightly around him. You weren’t aware, but his eyes were staring down at you, taking in all your natural beauty.

“Are you even paying attention?” He teased, poking the dimple on your cheek.

You sighed, guiltily looking up at him, shaking your head. “I know you love these kinds of films, but honestly I’m finding it really boring.”

“We can turn it off if you- “

“-no, don’t be silly. You enjoy it.”

You were staring off into the distance, not paying attention to the fact his hands were running through your hair, lips pressing to the top of your head. He couldn’t help but smile at how unassuming you were. He didn’t know how he got so lucky to find someone that was as caring as you, it didn’t faze you in the slightest that the movie wasn’t to your taste.

He leaned down, nuzzling into your neck, quietly whispering, “marry me?” You spun around, looking at him in complete surprise, he didn’t think you’d be able to hear him.

“What did you say?”

“I said marry me.” This time he was much more confident in his question, “you just look so beautiful and I’m so lucky to have you in my life. You care for me, look after me, tolerate me when I am so damn moody. I know this isn’t the most romantic proposal, but this is you, being absolute perfection and me appreciating you in all your beauty, will you marry me?”

“I’ll marry you,” you agreed, kissing his lips softly, “and this is perfect, that proposal was us, tired and very sleepy, and you being incredibly moody.”

Yoongi chuckled, “I’m not that moody.”

“You are, but it’s one of the many reasons why I love you.”

Hoseok:

The end of Mama played out, the crowd erupting for Hobi. His smile grew looking out at all the Army before him. Meanwhile, you proudly stood backstage watching everything he did. He waved to you a couple of times, bringing his microphone back to his mouth.

His hand reached out, beckoning you over to join him on stage, but you shook your head. Taehyung and Jimin appeared either side of you, pushing your reluctant self onto the stage. Hobi grabbed a hold of your hand, pulling you to centre stage.

“What are you doing?” You whispered. Hobi was the only one who could hear you, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “All these people are staring.”

“Just ignore them, focus on me.”

His words were assuring, your eyes finding comfort in his bright smile, his fringe flopping just above his eyes, his hands resting on your shoulders. He bent down, placing his microphone on the floor, kissing you softly.

“Y/N, I wanted to do something special for you in front of all the people that mean the most to me,” he paused, lowering himself down onto one knee before you, “and that is tell you how incredible you are, and remind you that I never want to let you go, so will you become Mrs Jung?”

Your jaw hit the floor, Army and BTS chanting for you to accept. You tried to speak, but words failed you, nodding your head as Hobi slid the ring onto your finger.

He stood up, twirling you around in his arms, you buried your head into the crook of his neck to hide your tears. “I love you,” he whispered, pecking your cheek softly. “Thank you for being my sunshine and brightening my days, always.”

“I…I…” He placed a finger over your lips to stop you speaking. Your voice quivered, overwhelmed with love.

“I know,” he replied, knowing exactly what you were trying to say, nodding his head, assuring you with a kiss.

Namjoon:

The two of you lay in the sand, looking up at the gorgeous sunset moving over you. Your hands were barely touching, your leg resting over the top of his.

“I don’t think I want to ever leave,” you smiled, tilting your head to look at the silver haired boy. “It feels like heaven.”

Namjoon nodded in agreement, turning to smile in response to your own smile. “How about we make one more memory before we go? Come on.” Intrigued, you stood up, following him down to the point where the waves crashed to the shore.

He slipped his shoes on, stepping into the sea, lacing his hands with your own. He began to giggle, confusing you, looking off behind your face. “Joon?” You asked, beginning to feel a little unnerved as to what was happening.

“Sorry,” he smiled, “I’m so nervous.”

“Nervous? Why are you nervous? It’s just me.”

“Gosh, you’re so cute, it’s just one of the reasons why I want to marry you.” His eyes widened as he realised what he’d said, giggling once again. “Damn, this was not how this was supposed to go.” He took a moment to regain his composure, bringing himself to look into your eyes. “I love you so damn much, you mean the world to me, you are my whole world, I couldn’t be Kim Namjoon without you, you keep me grounded, and love me for me, and I can’t wait for the future, marry me?”

You took his shaking hand in his, pressing a kiss to his lips. “Yes, it will always be yes.” He sighed in relief, running his hands through your hair, pulling you into his chest, turning to look out at the ocean.

“I’m sorry I mucked it up, it wasn’t quite the perfect proposal I had in mind.”

“Nonsense, you’re perfect, this was perfect, this memory is perfect, one I will treasure with me forever.”

Jimin:

The two of you headed back to your hotel, Jimin pulling you onto the balcony of your room. It was freezing, you hadn’t even noticed you were shivering, feeling Jimin place his suit jacket over your shoulders.

He stayed quiet, looking out at the city for a few moments, draping his hand around your shoulders, moments later, a few fireworks flying off into the sky.

What started as few soon turned into a full display, capturing your full attention. You squealed every so often at all the colours, jumping when the noise got too loud, a little thankful that it had come to an end.

“Wow, that was amazing don’t you agree…Jimin?”

“I’m down here.”

You were a little confused where he had gone, only to see him kneeling beside you, the biggest, cheesiest smile on his face. “What are you doing down there?”

“Telling you that you are the most beautiful girl in the world. I love you; I’d walk to the ends of the earth for you if I could, I adore you, I’m thankful for you, and most of all I’m excited to be with you. Will you marry me?”

“Yes, a thousand times yes!” You pulled Jimin up, leaping into his strong arms, pressing several kisses all over his face, “I don’t suppose those fireworks were down to you too?”

“I might have had a little something to do with them.”

“They were amazing, thank you.” Your lips pressed softly to his, safely lowering back down to the floor. Your eyes met his, tears brimming to spill from both of you. “Don’t cry,” you teased, “you’ll make me cry and all my makeup will run.”

Jimin kissed just underneath your eyes before whispering, “you look better without it anyway. You’re naturally beautiful my love.” He left you speechless, kissing your lips, “come on, let’s head back inside and warm up.”

Taehyung:

He sat before you, resting his keyboard across his lap. His fingers moved perfectly, capturing your attention. Tae looked so effortlessly as he performed his own song for you, your eyes focussing on every word of the lyrics.

The final verse came, he looked up at you, still playing with ease. He nervously smiled, flashing his teeth, turning his nose up as you chuckled at the expression on his face.

“…that’s why I love you, and want to ask if you’ll let me marry you?” Your eyes went wide, had he just proposed?” He put the keyboard down, shuffling around so he stood before you, nervously going down onto one knee.

The ring you recognised; it was his grandma’s ring that had been passed down to him for moments like this. “Tae,” you whispered, bringing your hand to cover your mouth, tears brimming in your eyes.

“I want you to know how special you are, not just to me, but everyone who knows you. You’re one of a kind, funny, smart, cute, I could go on forever. I want to go on forever with you, so just like the song says, will you marry me?”

“Of course, I will.”

He stood up, pressing a kiss to the ring before placing it on your shaking hand. “She loved you.”

“Did you write that whole song just for this?” He proudly nodded, wiping away a few of your tears. “I can’t believe you did that, it’s the most beautiful thing anyone has ever done for me.”

“I wanted to show you how much I love you, and I thought I’m best at expressing my emotions in song, so I did.”

“You did, and it was perfect. I love you so much Kim Taehyung, I cannot wait to become your wife.” You leaned forwards, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

“I love you too, future Mrs Kim.”

Jungkook:

Your arms wrapped tightly around Jungkook, fighting with every bit of strength you had to stop yourself crying. You were surrounded by paparazzi, but neither of you cared, not wanting to let each other go.

“I don’t know why, but I’m finding it really hard to say goodbye,” you told him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I just don’t want you to leave.”

He swayed you soothingly from side to side, overwhelmed with emotion, he’d never seen you so upset like this before. You were so full of love for this boy, he was your absolute rock, and he knew it.

His hands ran through your hair a few times, bringing his face to press to yours. His hot breath trailed up your neck, stopping just under your ear. “Marry me,” he whispered.

You pulled away in disbelief, chuckling as he smirked at you. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am.” He took your hands in his, kneeling down in front of you. “I have never been more serious in my life, I love you to the moon and back, you’re my best friend, my soulmate. Marry me?”

As he said it again you realised how serious he was. His dark eyes stared up at you, melting your heart. “Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He stood up and wrapped you tightly in his arms. “Why not?”

He chuckled, pecking your cheek. “When I get back, we can go and shop for a ring, and I’ll propose properly, but I just want you to know how much I’ll miss you whilst I’m on tour, fiancée.”

“I’ll miss you more, fiancé, now go and rock the stage and do what you do best, I love you Jeon Jungkook.”

“I love you too Y/N Y/L/N.”

---

Masterlist

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notalwaysthevillian · 4 years

Text

Parent Trapped

Warnings: Anxiety before a show, crying, feeling like you’re not good enough, food mention

Pairings: Eventual Romantic Remile, platonic LAMP

Word Count: ~2.6k

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Masterlist

Chapter 6: The Play

“Virgil! Patton!”

The twins looked up from their lunches, seeing Roman heading toward them at full speed. Logan had opted to walk instead, lingering behind his brother.

“What’s up?” They asked in unison.

“I hate that you guys can do that.” Roman said, before waving around a packet of paper. “Remember that play I was talking about a few weeks ago? I tried out and got the lead!!”

“That’s amazing!” Patton threw himself into Roman’s arms, hugging him tightly. “I’m so proud of you.”

Virgil gave him a fist bump. “Good job, man. You’ve been working really hard on that monologue they gave you.”

Logan gave them an exhausted look. “At least now that he’s in the play, he’ll have someone other than me to practice with.”

“Aw, c’mon Lo. You were a good partner.”

“Just because I remembered the lines doesn’t mean I performed them well.” Logan took his seat at their lunch table, the others following suit. “I’d appreciate if you used someone else in the future.”

Patton glanced up from peeling his orange. “I’d be happy to help!”

“I can’t wait for you guys to see it!” Roman handed out his Gushers, trading them for Virgil’s Nutty Bar. “And hopefully in the spring I get a part in the musical and you guys can come see that too!”

“We’d be happy to!”

Over the next few months, Roman spent most of his time after school at play practice. Logan saw him every night when he got home, but the twins only saw him if they were at the Sanders’s for dinner. Which was more often than not, but they still missed their friend.

It only got worse during tech week. Roman was at rehearsal past dinnertime, often dragging himself through the door around eight. He’d quickly do whatever homework he had before going to bed, completely exhausted.

When the big day finally came, Roman was finally able to come home right after school.

“What is this stranger doing in my house?” Remy asked as Roman and Logan walked in the door. “I haven’t seen this boy in weeks.”

“Oh, shut up.” Roman slid his backpack off. He twisted, cracking his spine. “I have to be back by five but I figured I’d actually eat something here before I head out. Gas station food is good on occasion, but not every single day for two months.”

“You picked Leftover Night to eat at home?” Logan let out a laugh. “I think we have some bacon in the fridge, lasagna, and some pizza rolls.”

“Honestly, anything is better than eating a burger or a wrapped sandwich at this point.”

Despite it being so early, Remy pulled out the leftovers from the fridge. “So, Roman, are you excited? Nervous?”

“A bit of both.” Looking over his choices, Roman grabbed the pizza rolls and dumped them onto a plate. “We’ve been working really hard and I’m excited for everyone to see it. But I’m worried that I’m going to forget my lines or a cue or something.”

“I’ve known you most of my life and I highly doubt that you’re going to make a mistake.” Logan said. “If anything, one of your fellow actors will be the one to mess up.”

“...and now I’m worried about that.”

Remy threw an arm around his son’s shoulders. “The only thing you can do is your best.”

The microwave beeped and Roman pulled his food out. Logan steered the conversation away from the play, hoping to distract Roman from his worries. It seemed to work, as Roman went on a rant about how Mr. Lockwood claimed he was doing his math wrong.

Soon enough it was 4:30. A horn honked outside and Roman darted to his feet, grabbing everything he needed.

“I’ll see you guys there!” He called out as he left the house, the door slamming shut behind him.

Logan headed up to his room to work on some homework until it was time to go. He’d set about 10 alarms on his dad’s phone to make sure that he wouldn’t fall asleep or forget.

Despite the alarms, he came downstairs to find his dad asleep on the couch.

With a sigh, he headed over and shook Remy’s arm. “Dad.”

“Mmm.”

“Dad, come on, get up.”

Remy rolled over into the couch, pressing his face against the cushions. “Mmm.”

“We’re going to miss Roman’s play if you don’t get up.”

Shooting up, Remy grabbed his sunglasses before they could get launched off his face. “SHIT!”

A horn honked outside. Logan headed to the window, moving the curtain to find the Picanis parked in the driveway. Patton had leaned over the center console to wave through the windshield.

Logan held up one finger before dropping the curtain. “That’s our ride.”

“What do you -”

“I asked Patton if his dad could drive us because I knew you’d forget.” Logan opened the closet, grabbing his shoes. “Now hurry up or we won’t get decent seats.”

“Called out by my own kid, I can’t believe it.” Remy grumbled as he quickly threw his shoes on, grabbing his wallet and keys on the way.

Logan rolled his eyes, but there was a smile on his face. “I’ll be in the car.”

“I’m not that slow.” Remy caught the door before it could close, following his son outside.

Patton slid into the middle of the backseat, allowing Logan to climb in and get buckled up. Remy jumped in the passenger seat.

“Let’s ride.”

Emile raised an eyebrow. “Seatbelt.”

“Oh, right.”

Once everyone was buckled in, Emile pulled out of their driveway and headed to the school.

The parking lot was only about a quarter of the way full when they pulled in. The boys jumped out of the backseat to get in line and get tickets while Emile parked.

“You could’ve gone with them.” Emile told Remy as he found a decent spot.

Remy waved a hand. “They don’t want to be babysat by an adult. Besides, it’s not like they’re going to get kidnapped at a high school play.”

“Wouldn’t this be an ample opportunity to kidnap a child? There’s plenty here.” Emile pulled his keys out of the ignition and slid out of the car. He reached into the backseat, pulling out two bouquets of flowers.

Remy walked around behind, nearly being hit by a car looking for a spot. He held up a choice finger. “Asshole!”

“Maybe you should get out of the road?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Remy moved to the sidewalk, spotting the flowers in Emile’s hands. “F-fudge! I forgot to -”

Emile handed over one of the bouquets. “I thought you might forget.”

“Em, you are a lifesaver.”

The two of them headed inside, spotting their kids toward the front of the line. Virgil pulled out his phone. A moment later Emile’s phone buzzed.

Virgil: We’ll grab seats.

Emile: Thank yo!

Emile: *you

Virgil gave him a thumbs up before the boys headed into the theater.

“How do you think Roman’s feeling?” Emile asked as they slowly moved through the line.

Remy shrugged. “He said he’s both excited and nervous. It’s probably just pre-show jitters. The kid has some raw talent for acting.”

“Have you told him that?”

“Don’t go all therapist on me now.” The teasing tone was clear in Remy’s voice. “But yeah, I’ve let him know. That’s the one thing I’m pretty consistent at. I didn’t get much praise growing up, so I figured that they deserved to hear it.”

Trying to hide his smile, Emile said, “Sounds like you’re opening up to a therapist.”

Before Remy could respond, they were at the front of the line. A person wearing an orange beanie looked up at them. “How many tickets?”

“Two please.”

Emile reached for his wallet, but Remy was already handing over a few bills. “Keep the rest. Consider it a donation.”

“Thanks, dude.” They took the money, handing over two tickets. “You can sit anywhere in the auditorium as long as there isn’t someone else in that seat.”

“You didn’t have to pay.” Emile said as they walked in.

Remy gave him a look. “You got an extra bouquet. It’s the least I could do.”

Glancing around, they spotted Patton waving and headed over to their kids.

“If you don’t want to sit with your parents -”

“Why wouldn’t we?” Patton cut Remy off, before flushing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Remy shook his head. “All good.”

“I guess that makes us the cool dads.” Emile said as they sat down.

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Don’t push it.”

The five of them chatted idly until the lights overhead were dimmed and brightened again. People that were still standing quickly moved to their seats. A few minutes passed before the person in the orange beanie headed up onstage with a microphone.

“I’m pleased to announce that we are sold out tonight!” They said. The audience let out a loud cheer. “I’d like to thank you all. With the money we raise, we’re able to put on our spectacular productions, as well as take our students on some field trips. With the extra that we received from selling out, we’ll be able to get a new stage for next year.”

The audience began to applaud. After a moment, the person held up their hand and everyone quieted down. “For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Joan Stokes. I teach English here as well as run the drama department with our principal, Thomas Sanders. He’s somewhere backstage making sure no one is dying.”

A ripple of laughter made its way through the audience.

“Which means it’s my pleasure to introduce our play! Thank for your coming and we hope you enjoy Clue.”

As soon as they were off the stage, the curtain opened.

The five of them were silent as the show went on, watching as Roman nailed his lines. There was a brief issue with one of the backdrops, but the show continued without a hitch.

When it ended, the entire audience leapt to their feet, clapping and whistling. The applause only increased when Roman and the leading lady came out for their bows.

Once the curtain closed, everyone started making their way back to the front lobby. By the time the Picanis and Sanders managed to get out, the lobby was full of people, making it hard to find Roman in the crowd.

Instead, he found them.

“What did you think?” He asked as he darted through people effortlessly. His eyes lit up as they landed on the flowers. “Are those for me?”

“Yes!” Remy and Emile handed the flowers over. Remy shot Emile a grateful look over the kid’s heads.

“You did fantastic!” Patton started gushing over Roman’s performance, Virgil adding in a comment here and there.

Logan gave his brother a smile when they were finished. “You did great.”

“Thanks, nerd.” Roman teased, throwing an arm over Logan’s shoulders.

Remy huddled the group together, keeping his voice down. “Now, I think we should get out of here so we can grab some ice cream before the crowd.”

Roman nodded, bouncing on his toes. “I just have to put my costume back in the dressing room and then we can go.”

“What about the makeup?”

“I can take it off in the car!” Roman shouted as he sprinted back down the hall.

Twenty minutes later, all of them were sitting in a booth at Leon’s Parlor. They’d managed to beat the crowd and had grabbed the best spot to sit. As they talked, the parlor began to fill up.

After a while, Virgil asked, “What made you want to do the play anyway?”

Roman shrugged. “I thought it would be fun. And I wanted to get involved with an extracurricular. Logan says that they look good on college applications.”

Logan nodded.

“And I wanted to do something that I liked, you know? I did an acting class for summer school and I thought it was super fun, so I thought I’d give it a shot.”

Virgil stared at him. “How can you just...do things?”

“It helps that I don’t have anxiety.” Roman pointed out, digging his spoon into the last of his ice cream. “Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith.”

“I can’t do that though.”

Roman nodded, looking sorry for Virgil. “Sometimes it helps to have a friend. Are there any clubs you wanted to join? One of us could go to the first meeting with you.”

“Not at the moment, but I’ll let you guys know?”

“Of course!”

As everyone finished up their ice cream, they left a tip on the table and headed out. As soon as they stepped foot on the asphalt, Patton heard a sniffle.

He turned just in time to see Logan break down, sobbing. Darting over, he held open his arms. Logan dove into them, burying his face into Patton’s cardigan.

Roman started to head over, but Virgil grabbed his arm and shook his head. “We shouldn’t crowd him.”

The two of them stood nearby, listening. If anyone tried to see what was going on, their glares sent them on their way.

“Logan, what’s wrong?” Remy asked as he came over, kneeling next to Patton. Emile knelt on Patton’s other side, eyes wide with concern.

Letting go of Patton, Logan moved to his dad’s lap. “I just...Roman did so good in the play and he’s so talented. I - I’m not good at anything except for school. That’s not - I’m not going to be able to get a job because of that! I need to be good at something else...anything else…”

Remy wrapped his arms around Logan, glancing at Emile over his head. He had no clue what to say, and he really didn’t want to make the situation worse.

Patton caught their look, getting up to go stand with Virgil instead.

Emile slid over, reaching out and rubbing circles onto Logan’s back. “Logan, how much time do you spend on homework?”

“Approximately half an hour per class that assigns homework.”

“So when you have homework in all of your classes, that’s about two and a half hours?”

Logan nodded, the tears finally slowing enough that he pulled his face from Remy’s shirt. “Mhmm.”

“How much time do you spend doing something you like to do?”

There was a moment of hesitation. “I - I’m unsure.”

“It’s not good to overwork yourself.” Emile said, continuing to rub Logan’s back. “You have to make time to do things that you enjoy.”

“I don’t know what I like.” Logan admitted. His face, which was already red from crying, grew even redder.

Emile and Remy exchanged another look. “I could help you figure it out.”

“You can?”

“Why don’t you come over tomorrow? We can look at a list of clubs the school offers and figure out if any of them speak to you.”

Scrubbing his face with his sweater sleeve, Logan nodded. “Okay.”

“Ro, can you start the car?” Remy asked, tossing his keys.

Roman caught them, gathering up his brother and heading toward the car. Virgil and Patton hesitated until Emile nodded.

Once the kids were gone, Remy got to his feet, pulling Emile up as well. “Thank you. I have a feeling I would’ve made it worse.”

“We need to learn from each other, remember?” Emile teased, flashing him a smile. “Now let’s get out of here before you get run over for real.”

#platonic logince #platonic moxiety #platonic lamp #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #logan sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #ts sleep #remy sanders #emile picani

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muhammad-junaid-ahmed · 3 years

Text

Muhammad Junaid...

let’s be a supporting hand from today:

Accomplishing greatness requires hard-work, getting applauded wants spirit and zeal of achieving the goal. Those who write good are also from this universe. Those who speak well are also from the community we live in. Those who sing well are also blessed with the same vocals as we are. They inherit same characteristics as we, and they face difficulties as all other creatures. But the only thing that makes them distinct is their approach of achieving the desire.

No one is born great, no one is front-runner from the beginning and no one is perfect in its nature. But the only mechanism that leads them to superior rank is their enthusiasm and struggle. We might be doing the same as the great ones are, we might be concentrating way better than them but who knows whether we’re doing it right or wrong?

One of the other strain that foils our spirit is lack of guideline, communication and passion. We believe if we tell someone a way to achieve success, it’ll be our loss. The reality is way different from it. If you tell someone the path to some attainment, he will surely respond in the same way. Thoughts will be shared, findings will be made and as a result, both of the sharers will get enough out of this process.

Complexes also lead to destruction. Someone of us consider ourselves superior to others just because of some triumphing achievements. That goes in the wrong direction. If one achieves success, it is of his benefit. Others aren’t meant to be humiliated and reflected inferior. People might have different mindset, they may look at the matter from different perspective and it can either be right or wrong. The only thing we need to do is to hold their hand firmly and guide them towards the right lane. It takes nothing of us if we spend a moment in giving someone a good suggestion, helping someone a complex problem and offering someone our help in the hour of need. It would be rewarded by the person who is helped and creator who is watching all our deeds.

One of the other convolution stopping people from facilitating others is the curse of payback. What I’ll achieve after helping this person? Would it be good for my future? Or I look someone who could return the support in a better way? If the desire is foolish then there is no need to offer your services.

There are occasions when the payback is not appealing. It is the time when people are tested!

#books #fiction #education #novel #quotes #reading #books & libraries #my words #romance #prose #pakistan #like4like

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Ali & Ro

Ali: what's wrong Ro: What do you mean? There's nothing wrong Ro: I'm fine, thank you Ali: why aren't you talking to us then Ro: We are talking Ro: As for her, I have no idea who she is, so forgiven me for being hesitant Ali: She goes to School with us Ali: has done for like Ali: ever Ro: Well, I've never seen her before Ali: now's the perfect chance to meet her then Ro: When she's taken god knows what, I don't think so Ali: whatever she's taken doesn't impair your ability to be courteous, does it Ali: she was being perfectly nice to you and you were quite rude, frankly Ro: Telling me how pretty I am isn't nice, it's superficial Ali: you don't lose humility points by accepting compliments, come on Ali: if anything, what did Shakespeare say about protesting too much Ro: If anything, I lose credibility for accepting compliments that are clearly that false Ro: Particularly from someone who won't remember the interaction tomorrow Ali: How is that clear Ali: at all Ro: No girls are that nice, not to me Ro: Whatever she's setting me up for, I wish for no part in Ali: not to her either, if you cast your mind back, I'm sure you'll recall her name and the bitchery attached if nothing else Ali: that's just how she is, or how high people are, if you'd prefer Ali: it's genuine Ro: Oh, that's who she is. Now it makes sense why you've taken her under your protective wing for the day Ali: excuse me? Ro: You are very much a patron saint of lost causes at times, dear sister Ro: It's genuinely to be applauded Ro: I can do that from afar though Ali: Can you? Ali: because you're doing a poor job if you claim you are currently Ro: All I'm claiming at the moment is that the spectacle of the two of you is a little much to witness in such close quarters Ali: we're enjoying the BBQ Ali: it is meant to be a party Ro: It's a family BBQ, there's very little cause or need for celebration attached Ali: that might be how you wanna do it Ali: but not me Ro: Clearly Ro: It's very apparent you wish to have your cake & eat it, regardless of whether or not you leave the grill well enough alone Ali: I'm not sure you're very sure of anything right now Ali: least of all what you think of me and my intentions Ali: just ask me Ali: or say what you mean, at the very least Ro: I'm sure I don't see your girlfriend here, and yet, I somehow I almost do Ro: The next at the very least Ali: For one, Carly is straight Ali: and for two, I'm not going to make you break up with her for me, even if I was, so there's no need to concern yourself with that Ro: I'm not sure you're very sure of her of her or her intentions, Ali Ali: I take people at face value Ali: for better or worse Ali: I'm not forcing you to do the same but surface level is a little beneath all of us, no? Ro: Is she not a little beneath you? Ali: no Ali: who is Ali: what do you even mean by that Ro: Would you or would you not be in this vastly inappropriate state right now if she was not here Ro: She's bad news is what I therefore mean Ali: I'm high, I'm not Ali: shouting racial slurs or denying the holocaust, Lord Ali: and I've been high, plenty of times Ali: a second ago you didn't know her now you're certain she's bad news Ro: I know what everyone says about her Ro: That she doesn't deny any of it, quite the opposite Ali: so? Ali: like you said, everyone says things about you too Ali: doesn't make it right, even if any of it's true Ro: I'm not proud of being scapegoated, she obviously revels in her reputation, true or otherwise Ro: Is that how you want to be now? Ali: so she should revel in shame instead? Ali: maybe it's how she deals with it, I don't suppose to know Ali: but I don't suppose to say either of you is right or wrong, either so Ro: I'm not saying she's wrong, I'm not saying anything Ali: you don't need to Ali: I know you Ro: If you knew me even slightly you wouldn't be asking me to socialise with her Ali: I'm not asking you to be her best friend, or to even say much of anything at all Ali: just not be outright rude to her when she was polite to you Ali: shy or not, there's no need Ro: I don't know how to respond to that, is all Ro: you wouldn't take it so personally if you weren't so invested in this girl all of a sudden Ali: yes I would Ali: you being rude to any of my friends Ali: or guests, frankly, as I said, no need Ali: even if you have to resort to an awkward laugh and a thanks, your reply doesn't have to match in sincerity Ro: Knowing me, as you claim, you'd be aware that I was not rude in the slightest Ro: Walking away when you have nothing nice to say is in fact the polite approach, supposedly Ali: so now I don't know you? Ali: this is just silly Ali: but fine, if that's how you'd like it, I'll take a leaf from your book Ro: You're in a silly mood & not one that I'm here to entertain, that, indeed, is what your guest is for Ali: A silly mood Ali: Patronizing, for a start Ro: Well, again, you'll have to forgive me because that is how Tess is choosing to behave towards me in light of your every action and the frustrations for her therein Ro: You get to do as you please & I have to wage war over quantities of salad that have or have not touched my plate & so Ro: Here we find ourselves Ro: On opposite sides of this party Ali: I suddenly have control over her Ali: she'd pull you up on that regardless, you know she would Ali: perhaps more politely or gently but seems tempers are flaring as hot as the weather calls for Ro: You have control over yourself, or would, if you were not intoxicated by & with your guest Ro: & I would have someone to distract me from the torment if you remembered that I'm also on the list of invited people Ali: you don't know what I'm on, even, nor the effects Ali: again, if you'd have just asked me, I'd tell you Ali: I can't very well leave her alone as soon as we arrive Ali: especially when everyone is being as unwelcoming as possible Ro: You can very well leave me alone & yet still expect me to be welcoming Ali: I've not left you alone Ali: I was trying to talk to you Ro: You were trying to get me to talk to her, it's entirely different Ali: again, what am I going to do Ali: tell her to go away for a second whilst we have a private conversation Ali: we have all the time for that Ro: You invited her, you could have not, or warned me that you were Ali: okay, I could have told you, I accept that Ali: I didn't see it being the issue it is but fair Ro: I accept that I was abrupt & could've made her uncomfortable, in spite of it not being my intention Ali: okay Ali: that's fine then Ro: I'll resolve to try harder when I'm not in as much of a trying situation as this Ali: alright Ali: do you want me to talk to mum Ro: No Ro: I want her to stop talking about me like I'm being a problem Ali: I know Ali: that just makes her think she can solve it Ali: if she puts it like that Ali: it's a her thing Ro: Why am I even a topic of conversation, aside from not having one with Carly I've done nothing wrong Ali: they just worry Ali: that's their job Ali: has to be about something Ro: She has plenty of actual things to worry about or real problems to solve Ali: well you know Ali: glutton for punishment or whatever Ro: Well, she should go be a glutton for burgers before the flies are Ali: 😂 Ali: very true Ali: and good idea Ro: My IQ may not match yours point for point but it's sufficient enough for a 💡 or two Ro: On occasion Ali: 😏 okay okay Ro: Even when my enthusiasm has dimmed because Tess is trying to fatten me up for the new school year Ali: it is autumn term Ali: anyway Ali: amount of celery in it there's like, no gain Ro: Anyway, there are no such thing as negative calorie foods Ro: Celery still has 10 per stick Ali: yeah but burn that off by giving mum dirty looks whilst nomming Ali: easy Ro: if you could burn calories with looks she'd be a lot thinner Ali: savage Ro: & Bea would be invisible Ro: Alas, she can very much be seen Ali: not for much longer Ro: Mysterious Ali: not really Ali: uni beckons Ro: She'll still have to show herself, he's here Ali: of course Ali: wouldn't be surprised if he ends up there though Ro: Very little would surprise me when it comes to the two of them Ro: if they actually parted ways for good perhaps Ali: seriously Ro: Cathy & Heathcliff wish they were that intense Ali: what actually constitutes a moor Ali: have to check Ro: Typically, uncultivated hill land Ali: Hmm, reckon we're safe then Ali: technically moutains so Ro: & there are no low lying wetlands either which also constitute moors in the south of England Ali: is where she's going so Ali: cracked it Ali: not about the prestige at all Ro: If she packs a flowing nightdress it's proven Ali: I'll get her one Ali: going away present Ro: I'll embroider something fitting on it, just give me enough time Ali: but of course Ro: I'm sure it'll be extremely appreciated Ali: 'bout all I can afford, sadly Ali: have to get a sugar daddy herself Ro: You could always regift her the work itself, we have a copy that doesn't have too much marginalia as yet, that's free Ali: you should Ali: it's a good idea Ro: Potentially Ro: There are lots of other books I could add too, as applicable in their own ways Ali: quite how she's taking all the stuff she has as is Ali: da will probably have to drive Ro: She'll probably become a minimalist just before Ro: Take almost nothing Ali: with all those clothes? Ali: good luck Ro: Capsule wardrobes are very on trend, apparently Ro: Especially for students Ali: I'll have to Ali: though I'll miss the dressing up cupboard 💔 Ro: You don't have to take shoes, that'll leave room for costumes Ali: 💡 #2 Ro: Just believe, all you have to do Ali: 🙏 Ro: 🌠 Ali: [the fraze stuff happens] Ali: I'll see you later Ali: gonna party on Ro: Oh okay Ro: With or without your friend and brother? Ali: I highly doubt he's going anywhere without Bea's say-so Ro: Is she going to follow you or her wandering eye? Ali: I don't know Ali: she's got the deets Ro: & that's fine with you Ali: Not her keeper, like Ali: no doubt any of 'em will take great delight kicking her out if she don't go of her own freewill Ro: You don't think it's odd that you consider me rude for refusing to engage in conversation but not her for flirting with your brother right in front of you when you've been flirting with each other since you arrived Ro: & goodness knows how long before that Ali: I consider it rude to Bea, at best Ali: just embarrassing for me, and the rest of us Ro: I told you, she's got no shame, you'll need to take a leaf from that same book if you're going to be friends, I think Ali: let's not Ro: Fine, but it's not me you're mad at, let's not pretend that you don't need to address this with her Ali: I'm not mad either Ali: it is what it is Ali: I don't know what you propose I should do Ali: or should want to do, even Ro: It's obvious what you want to do Ali: is it Ro: Yes Ro: To you & the rest of us Ali: It just makes me sad, if anything Ro: You're allowed to be sad that she's not immune to Fraze's charms Ro: We were all hoping for better from her Ali: very droll Ro: Very accurate Ro: I thought she only had her head turned by travelers Ali: it's not that deep, babe Ro: I did say head turned, not heart stolen Ali: like I said, not a big deal Ro: If that's true, why are you sad? Ali: I'm sad FOR her Ali: not because of Ali: that she feels the need to do these things, and would continue without any indication that she should Ro: Earlier you didn't suppose to know how she feels, now you do? Ali: I'm not that dense Ali: can continue to think it's a joke though Ali: I don't care Ro: You can't have it both ways, either it's 'not that deep' & she's free to emerge relatively unscathed as are you, or it is, & it needs to be addressed Ali: Jesus Ali: you don't get it Ali: it's not that deep like Ali: if it wasn't Fraze it'd be someone, anyone else Ali: he's irrelevant to the equation, she's not picked him to be malicious or some shit like that Ro: I understood that perfectly well Ro: & either you're both fine with that or you aren't Ro: Which is it to be Ali: just because it is doesn't mean anyone has to be fine with it Ali: never said that Ali: that's not how life works Ro: if you like her, tell her Ro: that's how life works Ali: it really isn't Ro: Yes it is Ro: pick up a book, turn on the TV, look around Ali: that's not real Ro: Every relationship started with a confession Ro: There's nothing more real Ali: just stop Ro: She'll do it for you eventually, if you're willing to wait & pine Ali: when have I ever pined Ali: you're just being stupid now Ro: Exactly my point, why start now Ali: you were giving me plenty of reasons earlier Ali: I have a girlfriend, she's straight, main two Ro: She clearly likes you too, however she identifies Ali: it isn't that simple Ro: You're making it complicated Ro: before you're even spoken to her Ali: no, I've spoken to her Ali: it was you that hasn't Ro: Oh okay & she said she wasn't interested in you romantically Ali: yeah Ro: Fine Ro: Because you've got a girlfriend or because she prefers boys Ali: because she likes boys, only Ro: Perhaps she's just a tactile person and genuinely very complimentary Ro: But that sounds way less real than anything I said that you disbelieved Ali: I dunno, okay Ali: why are you suddenly so for it though? Ro: Why wouldn't I want you to be happy? Ro: That's rude Ali: isn't she gonna drag me down Ro: I've never made any secret of how I feel about anyone you've chosen to date thus far, just because my feelings are negative towards them doesn't mean yours are Ro: Or should be Ali: neither have I Ali: Carly's going out with Ronan, you know Ro: I doubt she's going out with him Ro: not in any committed way Ali: why Ali: you know exactly how committed he can be Ro: She wouldn't be flirting with you or Fraze if she felt similarly Ali: maybe they're chill like that Ali: can't all be Bea and Fraze Ro: Change committed to traditional in that instance Ali: don't blame them Ro: Of course you wouldn't, if their relationship is open, you have your opportunity to be with her back Ali: charming Ali: I'm not that scheming Ro: I'm not sure your absent girlfriend would agree but I'm not saying that you are Ali: what are you accusing me of on her behalf then, like Ro: I'm not accusing you of anything Ali: 👍 Ro: It's Carly's motives you should be careful of Ro: If you're so certain she's not interested, well, she's definitely enjoying your attention Ali: it's no effort for me Ali: she can have it Ro: Until it makes you sad Ali: it won't Ali: no more than I can handle Ali: don't worry Ro: That's impossible, telling me not to worry is like telling the stars not to come out or trying to change the tides Ali: well Ali: I know that Ali: but you don't need to worry about me, yeah Ali: like you said, more important, real things, yeah? Ro: it is real, I saw it Ro: & you're my favourite person to worry about, on account of being my favourite person that exists beyond the pages of a book Ali: 💚💚💚 Ali: I'll come for Hermione etc crown one day Ro: You'll need strong magic Ali: I know you're never doubting my magik Ro: I like to hope nothing's changed that much Ro: but the moon's not that forthcoming when I ask her about it Ro: The cards do tell me not to doubt you however, you'll be glad to know Ali: it hasn't Ali: good Ali: I'll be asking plenty questions of my own Ali: once I'm back Ro: I'm wishing on everything there is to make them on, with fingers of course crossed, toes too Ro: You should Ro: They've cleared a lot up for me so far this summer Ali: they always bring clarity, even if not obvious at first, or the desired clarity Ro: You remember that, it's a good start Ro: Perhaps you are still in there Ali: come on Posy Ali: I've not gone anywhere Ro: You have undeniably left, the where of which is unknown to me yet Ali: only literally Ali: physically Ali: just going to a house party Ro: No, it's as true figuratively, emotionally etc Ro: The distance exists and is only widening Ali: don't say that Ro: It's happening whether I speak it aloud or not Ali: only if we let it Ali: which I won't Ro: So I'll see you tomorrow Ro: that's a promise Ali: of course Ali: 'less you're planning to pack your bag and run off into the night Ali: need t discuss who's books, clothes, everything, is whose so you can't really Ro: Not unless I can also capture a star to use as a sufficiently bright torch Ali: wait 'til sunrise, sensible Ali: Rocky's probably gonna be jumping on mum and dad's heads but don't mean they'll notice anything Ro: After yoga, of course, I have a schedule whether or not running away has been penciled in does not necessarily mean it's prioritised above all Ali: again, so sensible Ro: It is me you're speaking to Ro: wise beyond her years or precocious, if you'd rather & it's not too late for that to still apply Ali: 😂 Ro: Well goodnight, if I'm to get up with the rising of the sun for my great escape, I'd better rest a while Ali: Oíche mhaith, codladh sámh 💚 Ro: Tú grá geal mo chroí 💞 Ro: be careful tonight Ali: 🤞

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chungledown-bimothy · 5 years

Text

Trust Me: Chapter 7

Hey look! A timely update! Consider it a preemptive apology to everyone who loves Logan.

Chapter 1 Chapter 6 AO3 Chapter 8

Warnings: GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF TORTURE and JD is a high schooler. It’s relatively short, and marked by ******* before and after. But it’s for sure there. Oh, and some swearing.

Author’s Note: The German translates to “I speak German too, and I know you killed them.”

Word Count: 2190

Tag List: @ccecode @emo-sanders-sides-loving-unicorn @ren-allen @ilovemygaydad @bloodropsblog @funsizedgremlin @raygelkitty @roxiefox23 @thomasthesandersengine @spookyingarbageisland @band-be-boss-blog

15 minutes passed before Logan broke the silence. "I understand that two members of the football team committed suicide two weeks ago. I know that you are new to the school, but it must be difficult nonetheless."

"Not really. I bounce around so much, I don't bother learning names or faces, let alone care about anyone. Besides, I heard they did it because they were gay and too homophobic to deal with it. No major loss there, in my opinion."

"That is… an interesting perspective, JD. I am almost afraid to ask about your thoughts on Heather Chandler's death."

"Sometimes even the shiniest of ivory towers are prisons, I suppose. One has to wonder, though, how much the bullying rate has dropped since she kicked the bucket. I mean, sure, one of the other Heathers is trying to take her place, but even she knows that she'll never measure up." He looked out the window and then back to Logan. "Hang on, I never told you where I live."

"I know where I'm going. What do you know about how Heather, Kurt, and Ram died?"

"If you say so," JD began, hesitantly. "Only what everyone knows. Heather drank drain cleaner, and Kurt and Ram shot each other. I heard someone saying that they used some special kind of bullets called ich lüge."

"Ich spreche auch Deutsch und ich weiß dass Sie sie umgebracht haben."

"H- how could you possibly know that? No one knows that. I was careful. I was perfect."

"Obviously, you were not. If you were truly careful, you would not have said anything about the bullets. You wanted to applaud yourself for being so much smarter than everyone else. You also would not have chosen such an emotionally-driven accomplice. I understand the appeal. We have a lot in common, JD. We both understand that emotion and personal attachments are nothing more than hindrances. But there is that one person who changes all of that. Who makes you want to know how to feel things. But ultimately, they will always choose their emotions over us. I was not completely certain that you killed them until you bragged about the bullets. Killing people who had been cruel towards your person, Miss Sawyer, aroused my suspicions. Rule number one of getting away with murder: only kill people to whom you are not linked."

"It's you, isn't it? The killer everyone's talking about. The Park Puzzler."

"That is the first honest and correct thing you have said all evening." Logan paused, considering JD's words. "Is that really what they are calling us? Disappointing, but not surprising. The best and brightest certainly do not go into journalism."

"You aren't gonna kill me. You said yourself, the first rule of getting away with it is killing strangers." Logan was filled with a savage glee, seeing the terror in his student's eyes, his desperate attempt to save himself.

"In most circumstances, yes, killing you would be a mistake. However, your father is known for leaving town and taking you with him unexpectedly. You have attended 10 high schools, I believe, and it is your senior year? Everyone knows that the killer is punishing people for their unpunished crimes, and how would a simple teacher know what you did? Especially one who does not interact with other teachers, let alone students. No one was around when you got in my car. No one has ever seen us interact outside of the rare occasions you showed up to my class." He sighed when he saw JD reach for the door handle. "Don't be stupid- there is no point in trying to escape. I engaged the child-lock this morning. You cannot open the door from the inside, and breaking through the window is difficult with only a fist for exceptionally strong individuals. Looking at you, I estimate that you have slightly below average upper body strength for an 18-year-old male."

"Well that's awfully rude, teach. So, I'm gonna die. Why? Why not just turn me over to the cops?"

"You are a young, white man who, when you want to, can be quite charismatic. The American justice system is skewed to protect people like you. Even that is predicated on the assumption that a prosecutor would take the case, which is unlikely, given how well you were able to convince everyone that they were suicides. Your kills were cold-blooded with very little motive outside of bloodlust, and you left very little to no evidence. Truthfully, I am rather impressed."

"And we're back to my question. Why do I have to die for doing such good work? You're a killer too. Why should I die, when you're no better than I am? If the papers are accurate, killing me will even up our body counts, so you aren't even better than me on that front."

"The quality of your work was admirable, but it was still wrong. You took three innocent lives, simply because you wanted to. I only kill those whose crimes go unpunished by the corrupt justice system. We are both killers, but my crusade is a righteous one."

"I still don't buy it. I trade in half-truths, straight-up lies, and manipulation, teach, and there's more to it than you're saying. You're gonna kill me anyway, and clearly we aren't to wherever it is you're taking me to do the job. Why not pass the time with a good old-fashioned villain monologue?"

"All will be revealed in due time. I have been reliably informed that people tend to dislike 'spoilers'."

"You're absolutely nuts. You know that, right? You're even more delusional than I am. And that's my self-harm of choice is fucking Slurpees."

"I find it interesting that you truly believe that your obsession with what is colloquially known as 'brain freeze' is less sane than your manipulation of Veronica Sawyer and the cold-blooded murders of your peers."

"Peers? That's bullshit. They were, at best, vapid instruments of the system."

"And for that, they deserved death?"

JD shrugged. "I would do anything to protect Veronica from assholes like that."

"As I would do anything to protect my sibling from a world that turns a blind eye to the crimes of assholes like you. We are at an ideological impasse. That impasse, however, is rendered irrelevant by my superior intellect. Ah, here we are." Before JD could respond, Logan reached across the car and emptied a syringe into his arm.

The first thing JD noticed when he came to was the rope around his wrists tying him to a chair. Struggling revealed that his ankles were bound as well, and the chair was bolted to the ground. He was surprised to find that he wasn't gagged. Looking around, he reasoned he could only be in a warehouse, and it was empty except for him and a video camera. He continued to struggle against his restraints, barely noticing when the rope burn broke his skin. He was also hungry, and his mouth felt like sandpaper.

"How long was I out?" JD croaked, unsure if anyone was there.

"Approximately eighteen hours. It is 2pm on Saturday." JD jumped, not expecting Logan's voice to be so close behind him. "You are in luck. Normally, Patton would take a turn with you before I do anything, but they are… otherwise occupied. You should thank me- you will be useless to them once I have started with you, let alone finished. I am saving you potentially weeks of agony. The last one took a week and a half to learn his lesson. Only then could I begin my experiments."

"Experiments? What the fuck are you going to do to me?"

"As many things as you can endure."

"Why? Why not just kill me and get it over with? Satisfy your 'righteous crusade' without wasting time."

"And waste the opportunity to study how much the human body can endure? I think not. In all honesty, I care about the cause far less than Patton does. As I said, you will be spared their particular brand of torture, both physical and mental. I can only imagine what they'd do to you, given the fact that you murdered children, despite being a child yourself."

"We were all 18. Technically not children. Why, may I ask, won't I have the pleasure of making their acquaintance? They sound absolutely delightful."

"I am not surprised that your listening skills are subpar. They have other business to attend to."

"They're with someone, aren't they? That's why you've got such a big bug up your ass about emotional attachments and me and Veronica. It's rebellious child 101, teach. Lash out to get their attention. You aren't the center of their universe any more, and it's eating you alive." Logan flinched, and JD smirked; he'd hit his mark.

"Those who speak of what they know find too late that prudent silence is wise. This is doubly true for children who know nothing." He raised a hand, cutting JD off. "No more talking. Feel free to scream, however. Your responses will be recorded on that camera," he pointed, "and further analyzed later. I tend to get… distracted in the moment."

Logan briefly returned to the shadows of the warehouse before returning with a tank that seemed to be smoking. "This, JD, is liquid nitrogen. You mentioned your fondness for cold-induced pain. Let us see how you feel about it in the extreme. And remember, this is for posterity, so be honest."

****************************

He put on thick gloves and an apron before opening the lid and pulling out a ladle full of liquid nitrogen. Very carefully, he stepped forward and slowly emptied the ladle onto JD's arm.

The first drops hit JD's skin with a sizzle, causing JD to flinch. That flinch quickly turned into convulsions and a scream he didn't know he was capable of making when the stream grew thicker. It burned. Every second was more painful than the last. He was on the edge of unconsciousness when the agony stopped getting worse- Logan had stopped pouring. JD didn't know how long he sat there, face contorted with pain, before he was able to open his eyes and look at his arm. He immediately wished he hadn't. From wrist to elbow, his arm was mostly violently red and blistered. What truly horrified him, however, were the areas that weren't red at all, but were an unnatural grayish-yellow.

***************************

"That is third degree frostbite. Those uniquely discolored areas should turn black over the course of our time together." JD tried to scream, to swear, to cry, but he couldn't. He was hit with a wave of dizziness and nausea when he tried to open his mouth. "Ah yes, that would be the shock setting in. Breathe with me, JD. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight." Logan led him through the breathing exercise until he returned to a slightly more normal temperature. "Well done. Keep focusing on your breathing; I will be right back with some first aid."

"Wh- why bother?" JD asked when Logan returned without his gloves and apron, carrying a first aid kit. "Why not let me die from this?"

Logan gently began heating the frostbite with a warm, wet towel before responding. "There are more experiments to run. Even if this was the only one I had planned for you, seeing how it heals is a crucial part of the process. My goal isn't killing you. My goal is observing how the human body reacts to and recovers from various extreme stimuli. Letting you die would be extremely counterproductive. For now, at least." Logan began wrapping JD's arm with bandages. "There we go. That should be adequate to keep you alive and will hopefully prevent gangrene. The point is to study frostbite, not gangrene."

"Why thank you." JD smirked the best he could, but even he knew that it was, at best, a pitiful attempt.

"You certainly are strong, JD. Most people would not dare being sarcastic in the face of their torturer. Drink this." Logan demanded, holding a water bottle to his lips. "Good. I suggest you get comfortable. I will be back tomorrow to change your bandages and check on you. Can't have you dying before I allow it."

Sunday

"Oh Logan, he's absolutely wonderful. He's so smart, kind, and handsome. He didn't even blink when he learned my pronouns! And he said the most beautiful things about Monet and Impressionism. Aahh, I wish I could stay and tell you all about it and him, but I have to spend some time at the coffee shop- between our work and Virgil, I haven't spent nearly enough time there!" Patton got to the door before turning around. "Oh, and I'd love to know what you were up to yesterday- I called, but you didn't answer or call me back. That's why I had to come check on you before going to work. I'll be back around eight tonight, okay? See you then!" Patton was out the door before Logan could respond. Eleven hours. Plenty of time to tend to JD and come up with a convincing lie.

#sanders sides #logan sanders #patton sanders #fun and games #my writing #sanders sides fan fic #sanders sides au #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fanfic #please reblog if you like it #trust me

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javistg · 6 years

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One Victor CH 15. Part 1.

It’s been a few months since I updated One Victor. July hasn’t been as productive as I hoped, but I’ve still managed to write a few things in my free time.

Here’s part 1. Some of you will probably recognise some of this from a previous snippet, but I’ve added an entire scene and changed the ending. I’m pretty happy with the way this is right now. so I probably won’t make any more changes to it.

Anyway, hope you enjoy.

Chapter 15. Part 1.

District 12 was covered in snow.

Bundled in his warm winter coat, Peeta stepped onto the platform which had been set up on the Town Square right behind the Justice Building.

The large crowd gathered there cheered and clapped. Their applause was soft and dull, muffled by the gloves they wore, but their eyes sparkled with anticipation.

Smiling against the chilly air, Peeta thanked his audience and repeated Effie’s speech once more.

Right as he was about to finish, he turned his eyes to the back of the crowd and the hundreds of miners who were assembled there. Exhaustion lined their haggard faces, but the mix of curiosity and suspicion which lit their eyes inspired him.

Squaring back his shoulders, Peeta talked about the power of coal. “As modest as they look, these black rocks we extract from the earth warm our homes and fuel our factories.” Opening his arms, he pointed to the streetlights around the square. “They help create the electricity that lights our towns.”

Someone in the crowd hooted, a few others followed applauding to show their support.

Peeta slipped his hands back into his pockets. His modulated voice reached everyone in the square. “Sadly, as necessary as it is, coal is often-overlooked. Today, I want to say ‘thank you’ to all of you, our brave miners of District 12. Thank you, for going into those deep, dark tunnels every day. Our lives are better because of you.”

As the square erupted in a round of enthusiastic cheers, Peeta’s heart began to race. For better or worse, the Victory Tour was officially over.

There was still a dinner scheduled for that night at the mayor’s house, but he wasn’t worried about it. He had been there plenty of times and he already knew every guest on the list --he certainly didn’t need Effie’s lessons on district etiquette for this event. For the next few hours, he was free to do as he pleased.

As the square began to clear, Peeta made his way down the stairs.

His feet had barely touched the ground when his father pulled him into a tight hug and heartily patted his back. “Welcome home, son!”

“Thanks, Pop!”

As he pulled away from his father’s embrace, Peeta noticed the other people who were waiting for him. Along with a handful of merchant friends he hadn’t seen in ages, he saw his brothers, his mother, and Madge.

Madge was the first to act, she quickly reached for his arm and gave it a squeeze. “Welcome home, Peeta!” Before he could even respond, she signalled toward her house. “I gotta go, --I promised my mom I’d help her get ready for tonight-- but I’ll see you later, OK?”

Still a bit disoriented, Peeta nodded. “See you later.”

Madge dashed off. Her purple scarf flapped in the wind behind her.

Rye and Bran were up next. After hugging him, they ruffled his hair --effectively ruining Adriana’s meticulous work-- and joked about their little brother turning into a seasoned traveller.

“Did you bring me any presents?” Rye asked.

With an annoyed huff, Mrs Mellark interrupted the conversation. Stepping between her sons, she briefly hugged the youngest.

Just as she was letting go, she patted Peeta’s shoulder. “Nice coat,” she mumbled before turning away.

Like three ducklings, Mr Mellark and his sons said a quick goodbye and quietly followed Mrs Mellark back to the bakery.

With his family gone, Peeta took a better look at the remainder of his welcoming party.

It wasn’t a big group. Toben and Terrence –the postmaster’s twins who had once been in Peeta’s wrestling team— stood between Clara, –the carpenter’s daughter—and Peeta’s old neighbour, Delly Cartwright. Each boy held a girl’s hand as they stood huddled together --presumably to keep each other warm.

Not surprisingly, Delly was the first one to speak. A warm smile curved her lips. “Welcome back!”

Peeta smiled back. Growing up, Delly had been one of his closest friends. She had always been cheery and kind, but he couldn’t remember the last time he’d spoken to her.

With a heavy heart, he realized that he didn’t have much to say to her now. “Thank you, Delly.”

The rest of the group welcomed him with polite smiles and awkward hugs, exchanging a few tense pleasantries while Peeta wondered why they had felt the need to stay behind and talk to him on this particular occasion.

After a short, stilted, conversation, Delly announced that she had to go back to the shoe shop. The rest of the group followed, quickly excusing themselves and retreating back into their homes, all too eager to hide behind their apprenticeships and schoolwork.

After two weeks of fanfare and stress, Peeta suddenly found himself standing in the middle of a deserted street conversing with the wind.

As a train whistled in the station signalling a new departure, he realized he wasn’t ready to face the empty mansion he insisted on calling home. Restless, he decided to take a walk around town.

He didn’t have a specific destination in mind, but he wasn’t surprised when his feet lead him to one of the paths which crossed the Seam. He’d only been there a couple of times in his life, but the place captivated him.

The run-down shacks, unpaved lanes and unmarked streets were all hauntingly beautiful in his eyes.

No, he wasn’t blind to the fact that all that chaotic beauty was the product of extreme poverty and need. He knew how hard life was for people in the Seam. But he also knew how loyal they were and how they protected each other through thick and thin. He couldn’t help but admire their resourcefulness and strength.

In the face of adversity, Seam eyes shone with determination, their voices sang with pride.

He had almost reached the end of the main road when he saw her.

Katniss was about to knock on a door a couple houses down.

Without even thinking, he called out, “Katniss!”

Katniss swung around, her silver eyes widened in surprise and she smiled. “Peeta! Welcome back!”

Peeta smiled, pleased by the happy lilt in her voice.

Forgetting about the door, Katniss closed the distance between them. “What brings you round?”

Peeta shrugged. “Don’t know, I just felt like going for a walk.” He looked up, taking in the snow-covered rooftops of the shantytown. “Somehow, I ended up here.” A new thought crossed his mind. “Are you busy?”

Katniss shook her head. “Not particularly. What did you have in mind?”

“Not much,” he admitted with a soft chuckle, “I brought a few things back from the tour. Maybe I could show them to you, if you have time?”

“Sure!” Turning sideways, she pointed back to the house. “Just let me tell Prim –she’s over at Penny’s. My mother is out visiting a patient, and I don’t want her to worry if she goes back home and doesn’t find us.”

Peeta nodded. “She can come along, if she wants. I don’t mind.”

Katniss crossed her arms and, looking down, began inspecting the thin layer of freshly-fallen snow like it was the most interesting thing in the district. “I… I think she has schoolwork.”

“Oh, right.”

Katniss looked back up, her gray eyes held a fondness Peeta had never seen before. It was so comforting he almost forgot the biting chill in the air. “Thanks for the offer, though.”

Dazed, Peeta nodded.

Katniss backed away. “I’ll be back in a second, OK?”

“Sure, I’ll wait here.”

Katniss went back to the shack and knocked. A moment later, the door opened, and Peeta saw a blond head pop out.

Katniss moved closer to the door, blocking Prim from view.

Peeta waited, rocking slightly in place to keep his limbs from freezing while Katniss talked to her sister. Everything seemed to be going well until he heard her yell. “Prim!”

With cat-like reflexes, Prim snuck around her sister. As soon as her eyes landed on Peeta, she began to wave. “Welcome back!” she called out.

Peeta smiled, touched by Prim’s greeting. “Thanks, Prim!”

“You’re welcome!” The twelve-year old turned around to face her sister. Katniss was scowling, but she didn’t seem mad.

“Alright, you’ve had your fun.” Katniss reached for one of Prim’s braids and gave it a little tug. “Time to go back inside. I don’t want you to catch a cold.”

Prim kissed her sister’s cheek. Turning to Peeta, she waved once more. “Bye!”

Peeta waved back and watched as Prim disappeared behind the closed door.

With an annoyed huff, Katniss stuffed her hands in her pockets, trained her eyes on the ground and began walking. She reached Peeta’s side and didn’t stop.

Without a word, he fell into step with her and, together, they made their way along the cold, deserted street.

They were almost out of the Seam when she looked up. Her scowl had been replaced by an apologetic smile. “Sorry about that.”

Peeta shook his head. “Nothing to be sorry about. She’s a sweet kid. You’re lucky to have her.”

Katniss’s face lit up. “I know. She’s kind, and responsible, and smart --so smart! But… it used to be easier.”

“Well, she’s growing up. That’s a good thing, right?”

Katniss nodded. “It is. It’s just… Sometimes I wish we could go back, you know? To when she was younger, and things were simpler --back when I didn’t have to worry about--,”

Peeta sucked in a breath and waited for Katniss to finish her thought. But her smile was replaced by a frown and the words never came.

Biting his lip, Peeta looked down at his feet and hoped the sound of snow crunching as they walked would distract him from the melancholy spreading through his chest. It didn’t.

He wasn’t surprised by her silence, not really. He knew what Katniss had been getting at and he understood why the words stuck to her tongue; why she was afraid of saying them out loud --especially in front of him.

In all their weeks working together in the greenhouse, in all of their trades, they had never spoken of the one thing that made their arrangement possible --the twisted turn of fate that had put him in a position where he could buy her wares and provide her with a steady income.

Playing dumb had worked for them so far. Like the shrubs they tended to, their budding relationship had needed light and warmth to blossom. But the cold reality was knocking on his door, and he couldn’t pretend any longer. Not there, not with her.

Peeta’s life was tainted with treason and deceit, --and it wasn’t going to get any better-- but his relationship with Katniss was still pure and he wanted to keep it just as it was.

No, he bitterly corrected himself, that’s not enough, not anymore.

After spending years watching Katniss from afar --wondering who she was and what she was really like-- he had finally found an opportunity to approach her and, now that they were talking, he had discovered that he liked her far more than he’d originally thought.

Katniss was quiet and shy, but she was also smart, funny and sweet. She was devoted to her sister, loyal to her friends, and stubborn –annoyingly so.

She could make him laugh --even when he was having a bad day-- and, sometimes, she made him bristle. Her exasperating habit of keeping track of all of their transactions was something he respected and hated in equal measure.

He still couldn’t believe she had felt the need to repay him for the bread he’d given her all those years ago, but he was glad to know she had valued his gesture enough to remember it. He didn’t know how he had managed to hold his tongue and accept her terms the first time she visited the greenhouse, but he was glad he had.

As fragile as it still was, their friendship was one of the few things that felt right in his life. Their connection was real, based on trust and respect --something innocent and precious, something the Capitol’s blood-stained hands hadn’t touched. It was the one good thing to come out of his time in the arena.

He knew he was probably being reckless –selfish at the very least-- but he couldn’t help himself. The past weeks of loneliness and fear had taught him that the moments he shared with Katniss were the only ones when he was at peace --the only ones that truly mattered.

In spite of everything that was happening around him, Peeta refused to let go. He wanted Katniss to be a part of his life, and he was determined to become a part of hers too.

That’s never going to happen if you shy away from the truth and leave things unsaid.A bitter little voice inside of him piped in.

Peeta set his jaw, he hated to admit it, but he knew the hateful little voice was right. The closeness he craved would never come from walking on eggshells and keeping secrets.

As much as it scared him, he knew he had to be bolder when it came to Katniss.

As the gates of Victors’ Village came into view, a new resolution settled deep within him. From now on, he was going to follow the stubborn part of him that refused to give up; the part that hoped that the girl walking next to him could want him just as much as he wanted her.

Without any warning, Peeta reached for Katniss’s elbow, and stopped short. The movement made her whirl around.

Startled, Katniss gasped. Her warm breath turned into a puffy cloud that floated away in the chilly air.

Gently, Peeta prompted, “A time when you didn’t have to worry about…”

A deep sadness clouded her eyes, but she didn’t look away. When she spoke, her shy words were surprisingly clear. “The reaping. The Games.”

Peeta moved his hand up her arm. He reached her shoulder, gave it a little squeeze and let go. Looking straight into her silvery eyes, he said, “I’m a victor, Katniss.”

Three little words. Just a simple statement of fact. He was shocked by how foreign they sounded in his voice.

Setting his own discomfort aside for a moment, he raised his eyebrows and gave her a crooked smile. “Not exactly news, is it?”

Katniss shook her head. Slowly, her lips turned to mirror his smile. “I think Prim might have mentioned something in passing the other day.”

Relieved to discover his sudden outburst hadn’t scared her away, Peeta laughed.

Sobering up, he stepped closer to her, leaned down, and whispered, “I wish I could change that, you know? I wish I could make it so that no one else had to go through a reaping or a Game, but I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I can’t make it better. For Prim. For you.”

Overwhelmed by his proximity, Katniss looked down to the white, unblemished snow covering the street. There were no footprints, no signals of life or movement around them.

Feeling suddenly exposed on the deserted street, she whispered, “We better get moving before we get too cold.”

Peeta nodded. Slipping his hands back into his pockets, he began walking again. This time, it was Katniss who followed.

XXXXX

The frosty winter air kissed her cheeks, but Katniss hardly noticed. She could still feel Peeta’s warm breath on her neck, the soft caress of his voice lighting her skin on fire.

His whispered words danced in her head making her lightheaded with fear, and hope, and wonder.

Maybe it was the fact that he had apologized for the things he couldn’t change --instead of simply complaining about them-- but the raw honesty of his words had moved her in a way none of Gale’s rants ever had.

As Peeta climbed up the steps to his front porch, Katniss reached a decision. If Peeta ever decided to change the way things were, she would follow.

#One victor #things I write #sneak peek #still trying to reach my Camp NaNo goal

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write-havoc · 6 years

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This Is How I Disappear Ch. 39

Summary: A girl named Chuck finds herself in the exact place she doesn't want to be, living with violent men in a desolate nursing home. After her former gym teacher finds her, will he be the savior she was looking for?

Fandom: The Walking Dead AU

Pairing: Negan/Original Female Character

Status: Completed (story continues in The Flame Is Gone, The Fire Remains)

Contains: swearing, violence, sexual assault, blood, smut

Intended for readers 18+ of age only

Masterlists in my bio

Chuck lets out a sigh as she and Simon wait in Negan’s office for him to get there. Simon is leaning on Negan’s desk, staring at Chuck with an odd expression on his face as she paces the room. Feeling his gaze, she gives him a quick glance and then looks away when she meets his eyes.

Moments later when she looks back at him, and he’s still staring at her, she speaks up. “What?”

“What, what?”

“You’re staring at me.”

“Sorry.” He looks away. “It’s just... You’re okay, right?”

She lets out a huff. “I’m fine. I’m not gonna break down or anything,” she mutters in frustration.

“Okay.” He stands up from the desk.

“So stop looking at me like you’re waiting for me to freak out.”

“I’m not-“ He shakes his head and holds his hands out in a placating way. “Okay, kiddo. Sorry.”

Both of their heads turn to the doorway as Negan walks through it. Chuck‘s eyes immediately go to Negan’s hands, which are splotched with blood. His pants are smeared with it as well, but Chuck tries not to stare.

Negan sets Lucille on his desk and turns to Simon. “Go downstairs and see that that fuck gets strung up by the gate. I wanna see that fucker every time I leave.”

“You’re putting him on the fence?” Chuck asks quietly.

Negan turns his head to her. “You okay with that?” he asks genuinely.

She thinks a moment. She’s not sure if she really wants to see undead Brendon close up. But, then again, she probably wouldn’t ever see him if he’s by the gate. Since Negan doesn’t ever want her to leave.

“Um. Yeah. That’s- He-“ She clears her throat. “That’s part of the punishment, right?”

“Yeah, baby girl. It is.”

Chuck lets out a breath. “Then I’m okay with it.”

Negan looks to Simon and gives him a nod.

Simon nods back. “Okay, then.” He squeezes Chuck’s shoulder reassuringly as he walks past her to leave.

“Wait,” Negan calls out and Simon stops just before the door. Negan takes his leather jacket off and hands it to him. “Give this to laundry. I want it fuckin’ cleaned and back up here in an hour.”

Simon takes the jacket and nods. “Sure thing, brother.”

After Simon leaves, Negan gives Chuck a long look and lets out a sigh. “I need a fuckin’ shower before I do anything else.” He looks down at his bloody hands and tries to wipe the drying liquid off on his pants.

“Okay.” Chuck wants to talk to him right now. She wants to tell him that she saw what he did and that she’s okay with it. That he doesn’t have to try to hide it from her. But she also wants to ask him if he’s okay with it. She knows that he’s killed many people before, but it still has to affect him in some way. And he’s not very good at talking about his emotions on his own.

She watches him go into the bathroom and close the door partway like he usually does. He has a bad habit of leaving the door ajar, or completely open while he’s in there.

She tries her hardest to be patient and wait for Negan to come back out to talk, but she can’t. She pushes the door open slowly and shuts it behind herself.

“I hope that’s you, Chuck.” Negan calls out from the shower over the sound of the water splashing down by his feet.

“It’s me,” she responds.

“Don’t flush while I’m running the water.”

“I-I don’t need to use the toilet.”

“Then what are you doing in here? Are you hoping to get an eyeful of my big dick, little girl?” he teases.

She giggles a little, but she’s still nervous about talking to Negan about what happened with Brendon. “I just wanted to see if you’re okay. You know... after everything that went on today.”

“I’m great!” he calls out. “Really fuckin’ great. You don’t have to worry about me, baby girl.”

“Okay. That’s good,” she starts hesitantly. “But, um...” She clears her throat. “I, uh... When me and Simon left to come up here, uh... I didn’t... come up here. I watched what you did to Brendon from the window in the second floor rec room. So I kinda know what you did.”

Negan doesn’t say anything for a moment which makes Chuck even more nervous. And the frosted glass of the shower obscures Negan’s face from her, so she can’t see his expression.

“I didn’t want you to see that,” he finally says.

“I wanted to see it. I mean, I’m glad I didn’t see it up close, but... I wanted to know that he was gone.”

“Goddamnit, Chuck,” he mutters to himself. “You shouldn’t see that shit at all.”

“Why not? Everyone else saw it. I’m no different-“

“Yes you are!” he cuts her off. “Or at least you fuckin’ should be. Especially if I can fuckin’ help it.” He turns the water off and shoves the door open.

Chuck pulls the towel off the rack and hands it to him, blushing a little at the sight of Negan’s naked body.

“See what I mean? We’ve been fucking... You’re three months pregnant with my kid, for Christ’s sake, and you still blush when I get my dick out.” He rubs the towel over his hair and body before wrapping it around his waist. “I don’t want that shit to change.” He brushes his fingers over her warm cheek. “I don’t want the ugly shit in this world to seep into you like it has everyone else. Because you’re my sweetheart. And I want you to fuckin’ stay that way.”

She leans up to give him a sweet kiss on the cheek. “I’m not changing any time soon.”

He wraps his arms around her and pulls her into him. “Good.” He kisses her neck, causing her to giggle. “You ready for this party?” He leans back up to look at her face.

“Yeah. I mean, I’ve never really liked parties, but...” She shrugs.

“Whenever you want to leave, just fuckin’ tell me.”

“Okay.”

Negan finishes getting dressed and ready for the party, making sure Lucille is clean and oiled, too. When the laundry worker comes up with his leather jacket looking nice and pristine, he and Chuck head downstairs to the cafeteria walking hand in hand.

Chuck can hear the celebration coming from the cafeteria long before she and Negan get to the doorway. “Jeez. It sounds like people are having a good time already,” she states with some nervousness. She knows she’s going to have to walk around all those people in there. And on Negan’s arm, no less, which means all eyes will be on them.

Negan chuckles. “Guarantee everyone’s gone through those free fuckin’ drinks already. They don’t fuck around when they have the occasion to have a good time.” He looks down at her, noticing the way that she’s biting her lip. “Don’t worry, baby girl. You’ll be fine.”

As soon as the pair can be seen through the open doorway, someone calls out, “Negan’s here!” jovially. Everyone’s heads turn towards the pair and they all start to kneel.

Chuck squeezes Negan’s hand and looks up at him to try to calm her self a little. Having so much attention on her has her heart beating fast in her chest.

Negan gives her a wink then holds his head up high. “It looks like y’all are having a good ass time! Which is fuckin’ great because this is a good. ass. day! Not only did we put down a bad motherfucker that had no right breathing the same air as you fine people,” he puts his hand on Chuck’s stomach, “but we’re celebrating the announcement of my wife’s pregnancy!” He kisses Chuck’s head then looks back out to the room. “So get the fuck up and celebrate!”

Everyone rises and starts to applaud and cheer. As Negan and Chuck meander through the crowd still hand and hand, Chuck sees the happiness on everyone’s faces as they call out their congratulations on their pregnancy.

“God bless you and Negan!” an older woman calls out to Chuck as she holds her hand out to her.

Unsure of what to do, Chuck takes the woman’s hand and holds in in her own. “Thank you, ma’am,” she says genuinely.

“Oh, thank you!” The woman brings Chuck’s hand to her cheek and pats it lovingly. “Thank you!”

The woman lets go and the pair make their way to a small empty table set up just for them at the front of the room facing all the other tables. As they take their seats, everyone else does, too.

“Why was that woman thanking me?” Chuck whispers to Negan. “I didn’t do anything.”

Negan places his hand on her stomach. “Babies mean a future. You’re giving these people hope.” He chuckles. “And these people love the fuck outta me. This baby is my heir. So they love the fuck outta it, too. And you’re making all that happen.” He kisses her sweetly as if to punctuate his point.

Once everyone is situated at the tables, kitchen workers pour out of the kitchen and start to serve dinner, starting with Negan and Chuck.

“Thank you,” Chuck says politely to the teenage girl that serves her.

The girl looks up to her and gives a surprised smile, like she wasn’t expecting to be thanked. “Y-you’re welcome, miss.”

When everyone is finished with dinner, workers come out and clear the dishes. Chuck thanks the same young girl again and receives another genuine smile.

Negan stands from his table. “I want all you people to have fuckin’ fun tonight! We have games, music, and of course, booze! For those of you that haven’t burned through those free drinks, yet.” Everyone laughs. “Someone get some fuckin’ poker games going, cuz I am all about that shit!”

The residents start to mill around, going from table to table to find just what they want to do to entertain themselves.

Negan turns to Chuck. “I’m going to the bar to grab a drink. You gonna come with?”

“Nah,” Chuck answers and stands from her chair. “I think I’m just gonna look around. Maybe I can get into some sorta game myself.”

“Alright.” He kisses her then moves his mouth to her ear. “My guys know to look out for you,” he whispers.

She pulls back to look at him. “You told them to guard me? Like a security detail?” She gives him a little smirk showing him that she’s not exactly upset, but not exactly happy with that news.

“Fuck yes, I told them to guard you,” he responds with a little chuckle. “These assholes are probably gonna be drunk as fuck pretty damn quick. So I requested some of my guys stay fuckin’ sober and keep their eyes on you, just in case someone gets rowdy around you.”

She gives him a look and lets out a huff, knowing that there’s no point in trying to fight him on it. “Okay.”

He leans in close to her. “That’s my good girl,” he whispers into her mouth then kisses her, slow and passionate.

The kiss makes Chuck forget that she’s in a room with every single one of The Sanctuary’s residents. That is, until one of them lets out a wolf whistle.

“Are you trying to get her more pregnant, sir?” a young savior calls out with a laugh.

Negan pulls away from Chuck and laughs himself. “Shit, son!” He walks around the table and moves toward the savior. “If that’s how you think fuckin’ babies are made then we are in dire need of some sex ed around here!”

Everyone within earshot joins in with the joking. Despite the fact that Chuck’s ears are burning and her cheeks are red, she laughs, too.

When Negan walks off to get his drink at the little bar that was set up for the occasion, Chuck wanders around, watching people play games at the tables. She sees a few saviors keeping their eyes on her, but they’re doing a good job at not being too intrusive.

“Miss?” a gentle voice comes out from behind Chuck.

Chuck turns around to see the teenage girl that served her dinner. In her hands are a glass of ice and a pitcher of lemonade. “Hello,” Chuck greets.

“Would you like some lemonade?” the server asks sweetly. The skinny girl couldn’t have been older than fifteen, with sandy blonde hair pulled up in a ponytail.

“Yes, please. That sounds awesome.”

The girl pours the drink into the glass and hands it to Chuck.

“Thank you.” Chuck takes a gulp of the sweet beverage and lets out a little moan. “Oh, that’s good! Did you make it?”

The girl smiles shyly. “Yes.” She shrugs one shoulder. “Well, I made it from a mix.”

“Nicole!” A woman stomps toward the girl and looks at Chuck apologetically. “I’m sorry, miss.” She looks to the girl. “What did I tell you about talking with them? She doesn’t want you bothering her.”

“It’s okay, mom. She’s nice,” Nicole explains to the woman.

The woman doesn’t look convinced and turns back to Chuck. “I’m so sorry, miss. This is her first job here and she’s never been around a wife before.” The woman tries to pull the girl away, but Chuck stops her.

“No, wait! It’s okay,” Chuck responds quickly. “I don’t mind her talking to me.”

The woman turns back to Chuck with a look of confusion on her face.

“And you don’t have to call me ‘miss’. You can just call me Chuck.” Chuck holds her hand out to properly meet the woman.

She shakes Chuck’s hand tentatively. “I’m Julie. And this is my daughter Nicole.”

“It’s nice to meet you guys.”

Chuck talks with the pair for a few minutes before they have to get back to work in the kitchen. She looks around as they leave and sees that there are many other residents who were watching her interactions with the mother and daughter. She smiles at them and walks to the bar to set her empty glass down.

After walking around and taking more congratulations from workers and saviors alike, Chuck sees a group of guys setting up instruments, complete with an electric drum kit. Chuck figures that real drums would be way too loud, even with how big the Sanctuary is. Her eyes skim past the other instruments and land on a vintage Fender Stratocaster set up beside the microphone.

There is no way I’m passing that up. That is my dream guitar and I’m going to play it.

Chuck walks over to the guys and clears her throat. “That’s an awesome guitar.”

The guy closest to her turns and gives her a look. Like he doesn’t want her there. “That’s my awesome guitar.”

She can’t help but sneer a little back at his snotty tone. “Can I play it?” she asks politely despite the fact that he doesn’t really deserve it.

The guy looks around, Chuck figures to see how far away Negan is. “Look, wife-number-whatever, this ain’t a guitar for beginners, okay? It would be offensive to all the truly great musicians that have used a guitar like this to let someone like you put your fingers on it.” He gives her a smug grin.

Chuck goes right past offended and straight to angry at what the guy said. But she doesn’t say anything. She just picks the guitar up, knowing that no one would actually touch her, and swings the strap around her shoulder. She grabs a pick from the microphone stand and strums the guitar once to check the tuning. She turns the amp on and starts to play the opening riff to the song that has been stuck in her head all day for some reason. Unholy Confessions by Avenged Sevenfold.

When she finishes the riff, she looks to the guy with a smug grin of her own. “Sorry for offending you.” She starts to take the guitar off, but the guy standing by the drum set speaks up.

“Hey, wait. We know that song. Keep playing.” He sits down at his drums and the other men pick up their guitar and bass respectively to play.

“What?!” the first guitarist calls out. “You’re gonna play with her?”

“She’s better than you, dude,” the guitarist to her right answers. “You sing?” he asks her.

“Yeah. I can sing.”

The drummer counts down and the quartet starts to play the heavy rock song. By the time the chorus hits, a crowd of people are congregating around them, listening to them play.

Chuck scans the room as she sings and finds Negan sitting at a table playing poker. But his eyes are on her. She smiles at him as she plays her favorite part in the song.

When they finish the song, everyone claps and cheers.

“I’ve never seen a pregnant chick rock so hard,” the bassist comments.

Chuck giggles. “I’m rocking for two now,” she chortles.

The guys around her laugh. “You’re not at all like I thought one of Negan’s wives would be,” the drummer adds.

Chuck shrugs her shoulders and hands the guitar back to its owner. “I’m just me, I guess. Thanks for playing with me.” She walks away with a little wave, headed for Negan’s table.

As soon as Chuck gets to Negan, he wraps his arms around her and pulls her to sit across his lap. “Negan!” she squeaks.

Everyone at the table chuckles and it makes Chuck’s cheeks turn red.

“I liked the song you played,” Fat Joey says to Chuck.

“Oh. Thank you.”

“Yeah. Where’d you learn to play like that?” another savior Chuck remembers as TJ asks.

Chuck shrugs. “I’ve just always played.”

“My girl’s fuckin’ talented as shit!” Negan kisses her temple and lays down his hand. “Full house!”

“Dammit!” Arat throws her cards on the table. “It’s impossible playing with you!”

“Sorry, sister!” Negan laughs. “You wanna get my chips for me, baby girl?” he asks Chuck with a smirk.

Chuck leans forward so she can gather Negan’s winnings and swipes them into his large pile.

“Such a sweetheart for me,” Negan rasps almost under his breath and runs his hand up her thigh.

“You’re embarrassing me,” Chuck whispers to him with a little smile to try to hide her blushing cheeks.

Negan raises his eyebrows. “Because of them?” he says a little too loudly as he gestures to the people at the table.

“I’m sure they don’t want to see all this.”

“They don’t give a shit, Chuck.”

Chuck looks around the table and sees that everyone there is barely paying attention to her and Negan, too focused on their cards.

As the game progresses and Chuck still sits with Negan, she finds herself participating in their conversations.

“So, how far are you, Chuck?” Laura, the savior with the neck tattoo asks.

“Thirteen weeks.”

Laura smiles and it catches Chuck off guard. The woman is rather harsh looking, but the smile softens her considerably. “The second trimester is easier than the first. You’re in for some smooth sailing until the third trimester. Then things get shitty again.”

“You have children?” Chuck asks.

Laura throws her chips in and answers. “A little boy. Niko. He’s four and crazy as fuck.”

Everyone chuckles. Apparently they are familiar with Laura’s kid.

“If you guys have a girl,” Fat Joey directs to Chuck and Negan, “maybe she’ll get with Niko.” He laughs.

“Jesus Christ!” Negan yells. “I don’t want to fuckin’ think about any possible girls of mine getting with fuckin’ anyone! Shit! Gonna give me a damn heart attack already!”

Chuck giggles as everyone laughs, too.

“What if it’s a boy?” Arat jumps in. “Bet you won’t have any problems with him getting with any girls, right?”

Negan narrows his eyes at Arat.

“She has a point.” Chuck pats Negan’s chest.

“Fine, fine. I get it. Sexism.” Negan lets out a huff and looks to Chuck. “I’m gonna teach our sons to be respectful as fuck, so you won’t have to worry about them mistreating anyone. But you know our daughters are gonna be beautiful as fuck and you can’t count on people raising their sons as good as we will. You’re gonna be shooing those boys away, too, just like me.”

Chuck can’t help but smile as she looks down at Negan. “Sons? And daughters?”

“Well yeah,” he answers gently and puts his hand on her stomach. “This one’s just the first.”

Chuck sits with Negan for a while longer before she has to excuse herself to use the restroom. When she comes back in, she walks by a table playing Trivial Pursuit. The boys playing look to be in their late teens, but one boy looks a bit younger. And he’s not doing so well at the game.

The boy moves his piece and lands on the pink pie space.

“Ooo! Let’s see if Jack can get his first pie!” another boy teases and picks up the card to read off the question. “Which unlikely hit won the Academy Award for best picture in 1992?”

The boys all seem to notice Chuck standing by them at the same time and quiet down. Like they were just caught doing something they shouldn’t by a teacher.

Chuck leans down to the youngest boy and whispers in his ear, “Silence of the Lambs.”

The boy looks back up to her with confusion on his face.

“The answer,” Chuck clarifies quietly.

“Uh.” The boy turns back to the question asker. “S-Silence of the Lambs.”

The other teenager flips the card over to check the answer. “Correct.”

The boy happily picks up his pie piece and puts it in his pie. He looks up to Chuck with pink cheeks. “Thank you.”

Chuck smiles back down to him making his cheeks redden even more. “You’re welcome.”

Negan suddenly comes up from behind them and leans on the back of the boy’s chair. “You trying to steal my wife from me, Jack?”

“N-No, sir!” he quickly answers.

Negan laughs. “I’m just fuckin’ with you kid! But I am gonna have to steal my wife away.”

Negan takes Chuck’s hand and leads her away to an open part of the room. He turns around to face her, still holding her left hand in his right, and wraps his free left arm around her waist, pulling her close.

“What are you doing, Negan?” She wraps her free hand around his shoulder.

He brings her hand up, holding it out with his and starts to sway with her.

She instantly looks down at her feet to try to keep from stepping on his toes.

“Look up, sweetheart. You can’t look at your feet while we dance.”

She looks up. “You know I’m horrible at dancing. How am I supposed to know where to step if I can’t see my feet?”

“You just gotta feel it,” he answers with a smirk.

“I thought you said you don’t dance anyway.” She steps on his left foot. “Oops. Sorry.”

Negan lets out a soft breath. “I didn’t think I’d ever dance like this again,” he replies quietly.

Chuck understands what he’s saying. She’s sure that the last person he actually danced with was probably Lucille. And that he most likely never thought he’d care about another woman enough to be so intimate with her.

She smiles up at him, but it drops when she steps on his foot again. “Shoot! Sorry. I’m not good at this.”

“Stand on my feet,” he requests.

“Like a six year old?” she jokes.

He chuckles. “Just do it.”

Chuck kicks her heels off and stands on his feet. “Better?” She giggles.

Negan squeezes her into him more. “Better.”

She leans her head back a little to look at his face. “I think we need to start getting ready for the baby. I mean, we don’t have a nursery or anything.”

He inhales deeply then lets it out. “Yeah. I think we can knock out a doorway in my room to the room beside or something. I’ll get some guys on it.”

“We need furniture, too. A crib, changing table, a chair for nursing.”

His lips curl up into a smile. “I can get all that.”

Chuck can’t help but smile, too. “Good.” She turns her head to rest her cheek on his shoulder. Even the stares of all the people around her can’t force the smile off her face.

#negan #negan fanfiction #negans thirst squad #negan x oc #negan x original female character #negan x ofc #negan / ofc #negan / oc #negan / original female character #jdm #jeffrey dean morgan #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead au #the walking dead #this is how i disappear #tihid #writehavoc writes #writehavoc this is how i disappear

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lowcarbnutrients · 6 years

Text

What`s your `Dieting Trap?`

What's your "Dieting Trap?"

1. I generally eat the most scrap food when:

A. I'm viewing TELEVISION or at the computer. B. I haven't consumed enough earlier in the day. C. I'm out, or at a celebration or gathering. D. I'm stressed out or alone.

2. The food I can't resist is:

A. A bag of chips.

B. A large fast-food hamburger on the run.

C. A bucket of movie popcorn.

D. Chocolate or a bowl of ice cream.

3. The very first point I usually do after work or at the end of the day is:

A. Watch TV or go online.

B. Consume dinner-- I usually obtain house or work late.

C. Fraternize friends or family.

D. Try to loosen up-- I have extremely stress-filled days.

4. My pals and also household would possibly define me as:

A. Scattered, but focused.

B. A go-getter. I'm constantly handling a million things.

C. A social butterfly. I'm constantly with my friends.

D. A drama queen or king. I tend to burn out a lot.

5. The last time I surrendered on a #diet, it was since:

A. It didn't help. I dieted, viewed exactly what I ate, but wound up gaining #weight.

B. I really did not have adequate time to think of just what to eat.

C. It was as well tough to stay with when I was out with friends.

D. I couldn't quit my favorite foods.

6. At work I typically:

A. Snack while responding to e-mails or talking on the phone.

B. Miss lunch, I just do not have the time.

C. Am the very first one to delight when someone brings food to the office.

D. Consume at my desk when I'm dealing with a big task-- it relaxes me.

SCORING: See which Diet Plan Trap you're more than likely to be managing, so you can discover just what makes you overindulge as well as how you can cope.

If you selected 2 or more A's, your Diet Trap is: Unconscious Eating You're being in front of your computer, exhausted and bored, so you open a drawer as well as take out a box of cookies left over from a birthday celebration the week in the past. It's simply one cookie. It comes to be 2. Prior to you recognize it, the whole box is gone. Noise familiar? You just consumed well over 1,800 #calories. Or, possibly you choose at food all the time while doing jobs yet do not really taste what you've consumed after the initial bite. Or you rest in front of the TELEVISION and also eat a huge bag of chips without also noticing.

I cannot tell you the amount of times I've gone to the movies, absorbed in the movie, chomping on a bucket of popcorn and also a box of sweet, when, suddenly, I placed my hand in the popcorn container and also there's absolutely nothing left. I could have been eating on cardboard as well as it would have tasted the very same. It was a waste since I had not been taking note of the popcorn, so I really did not even enjoy it. You could do away with hundreds of extra calories simply like that: by consuming without thinking.

Zap this Trap:

Figure out your danger zones. TELEVISION, office computer, computer game, and so on ... You may want to publish a notification: "Think Before You Consume." At the workplace, you can create a no-food zone around your desk or workspace. Make certain your co-workers know.

Drink more. Ensure to have reduced- or no-calorie drinks available. Consuming alcohol could load you up and also maintain your mouth occupied, without filling up out your waist.

Have low-cal options around. Always keep healthy and balanced Calorie Bargains offered, as well as prevent having junk food in your home. If there is junk food in your residence, that's just what you'll probably consume. For example, as opposed to buying chips, try bags of 100-calorie snacks. You could additionally part your food ahead of time, not when you remain in a trance. Load up your foods in healthy and balanced sections to make sure that when you most likely to order, you already understand that exactly what you're consuming is a healthy amount.

Stay mindful. Try to take pleasure in the smell, taste and also structure of anything you eat-- in this way you won't wander right into a "food hypnotic trance" and also clear the bag of Cheetos. Remember that random attacks of anything can include up, but simply by focusing, you can save a great deal of calories. As a regulation, never consume anything with greater than 100 calories without taking a minimum of 10 secs to determine if it's actually worth it. Is it a Calorie Bargain or a Calorie Rip-Off?

Don' t snack, have actual mini-meals. It's much better to have half a turkey bust sandwich than a box of cookies. Produce mini-meals to ensure that you're satisfied.

Eat in volume. See to it you select treats that are so reduced in calories that it does not matter if you eat a great deal (e.g., air-popped popcorn, low-calorie grain).

Prepare. Jot Down how you captivate your mouth, and prepare for the next time. What are you mosting likely to do to make sure it doesn't happen again?

If you chose two or even more B's, your Diet plan Trap is: Delayed Feeding How usually have you been on the go and not consumed for a long while? When you see a coffee shop, deli or a snack bar, whatever on the menu looks scrumptious, so you overeat because you are hungry.

You miss breakfast due to the fact that you're on the run, as well as you're truly not that hungry. Or, you can actually opt for something however don't have the time, or your cooking area cupboards and refrigerator are bare. Before you understand it, 2 p.m. has actually rolled around as well as you've had only a couple of cups of coffee and perhaps a buttered roll. You're keyed to eat the initial thing that crosses your path. Usually, because circumstance you don't take a seat and also think of exactly what would be healthy and balanced. Your body is informing you you're starving, you're preoccupied with your job (or your kids), and also an associate or close friend comes by holding out an open box of chocolate chip cookies. You take 3, scarfing them down so quickly your mind does not also sign up that you have actually consumed. Before you understand it, you've downed 6 cookies.

Zap this Trap:

Make time to eat. Don't miss dishes or wait also lengthy between meals (maintain healthy treats like a little handful of nuts, some cut-up veggies, or low-cal grains in your wallet or brief-case just in situation). Missing dishes could appear like a diet plan faster way, but quickly it will certainly become a diet regimen detour-- since your body will simply rebel.

Set it up. Regardless of how exhausted or rushed or emphasized you could be, do not avoid morning meal (or any meal, for that matter). The study is frustrating that consuming breakfast assists you regulate your weight. Find healthy and balanced fast-food breakfasts by looking online at the different food selections as well as selecting the healthiest options (e.g., an Egg McMuffin, at 300 calories is absolutely far better compared to absolutely nothing). Create a standing order at the local deli for morning meal to be provided to your workplace. Bring fruit for a mid-morning snack so you don't overindulge at lunch.

Make your food choices in advance. Choose at night what you're going to purchase for breakfast the following day, or supply up on comfort breakfast foods that are healthy and balanced (e.g., Egg Beaters). See to it to bring your own healthy lunch or have healthy and balanced selections available at the dining establishments in your area (create a food selection publication and also circle all the healthy and balanced foods beforehand). Think ahead as well as know the better-for-you options at your office vending device, office snack bar or in your area. Supply healthy frozen foods (e.g., Healthy Choice, Kashi and Lean Cuisine) or foods that need just a microwave, such as soups with less compared to 120 calories each cup-- they load you up fast.

If you selected two or even more C's, your Diet Catch is: Social Eating Social eating is a bit various from meaningless eating because you probably are focusing on what you're consuming-- you just "excuse" yourself since you're with your friends or since it's an unique event. You're having a lot enjoyable that you're not bothering with calories. You're sitting at a restaurant, having a terrific conversation with friend or family, and the bread basket is on the table, in addition to an exceptional bottle of merlot. You're appreciating yourself. You eat a few items of bread, dip it in oil, as well as have a couple of glasses of wine. For the time being, you ignore exactly what you're taking in-- or probably you just let on your own off the hook, figuring, hi there, you only live as soon as, and food is a huge part of the whole social experience.

Zap this Trap:

Keep track of just what you're eating when mingling.

Eat with a plan. Also when you're interacting socially, do not simply wing it. Have a concept of what you're mosting likely to consume prior to you enter the thick of it. Strategy on getting a Calorie Bargain, like salad or low-calorie soup, rather of taking from that bottomless bread basket.

Learn to spot the low-cal choices on the menu. Seek them out. Make it a video game, and also maintain it social.

Eat before celebrations or any social gathering. Don't go starving.

Don' t really feel obliged to consume a number of treats even if a person supplied them. Learn to state "no" with style.

If you picked two or even more D's, your Diet regimen Catch is: Stress Eating " I have actually had the most awful day. I'm going home and also huddling on the sofa with a pint of Ben and also Jerry's!" Whenever you're feeling stressed out or short-tempered or clinically depressed, you understand you could trust food to applaud you up. Why? We often tend to link food with the way we really feel, and also many foods advise us of pleased occasions. Particular foods-- like anything loaded with carbs-- could even affect our mind chemistry to make us feel calmer.

Not only do these foods comfort us, yet we also have a tendency to forgive ourselves for overindulging when we're really feeling down. Studies have actually shown that when something is actually stressing you out, you're most likely to allow various other things slide. If you're panicking or worried, you may assume, "OK, I just can't stress concerning my diet regimen right now. I have means excessive on my mind. I'll return on track after midterms more than."

So what's the huge deal regarding a few added calories and also fat grams? Well, while food can offer convenience throughout psychological unpredictability, the majority of experts worry the relevance of maintaining control over your internal setting regardless of the truth that outside elements might be unpredictable. Being able to look internal and really feel good concerning your nourishment as well as #health is critical.

Zap this Trap:

Avoid sugar crashes. Eating processed food can leave you feeling tired as well as disappointed. For a far better carbohydrate increase, have anything with One Hundred Percent whole grain.

Keep stress under control. Create non-food means to take control. Below are some examples: Take a stroll (or any kind of exercise), take a bathroom, call a friend, most likely to a movie as well as bring along healthy and balanced foods, blog online (www.blogger.com), get a manicure, take your pet dog for a stroll, checked out a great book, or hear music.

#diet #dieting #liquid diet

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