#THEM BEING COMFORTABLE WITHOUT EVEN REALISING AND BEING AT HOME WITH EACH OTHER EVEN IF THEY ARE BICKERING AND EVEN IF IT IS HARD AT FIRST | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

roosterr · 8 months

Note

Hi idk if you're accepting requests but I literally just read the amnesia fic, and I was wondering if I could request where reader suddenly remembers everything, and sprints around base trying to find them, and just jumps on them crying and apologizing for forgetting them. Just some really fluffy comfort? It's okay if you don't want to write this lol

the 141 when you have amnesia – p2

note: i have received your therapy bills :)

wc: 5.2k

warnings: still a bit angsty I'm sorry I couldn't resist, fluff, hurt/comfort, mild injury and blood, happy endings for all I promise

ao3

[part one]

price

✹ john thought your initial reaction was a good sign. you seemed to be taking things well, considering the extent of your injuries, and it was only a matter of time before your memories returned.

✹ your spirits are high when you're reintroduced to the team, and though you don't remember them either you do say they feel familiar, which he takes as a good sign for your recovery.

✹ when you're finally discharged, he takes you home, to the house that the two of you bought together. he shows you the photos of the two of you that decorate the walls, fondly retelling the stories of each one to you even though you were there, and these are your pictures.

✹ if you notice the way he chokes up when you get to your wedding photos, you don't say anything.

✹ like the true gentleman he is, he insists on sleeping on the sofa and leaving you to take the bed, despite your protests about it being his home too. even though you were receptive, he would never risk making you uncomfortable by sleeping in the same bed when he was, essentially, a stranger.

✹ in all your years of marriage, he's never slept on the sofa before. the two of you rarely go to bed without each other, apart from the times you're separated by your job, and consequently he finds himself not getting much rest.

✹ you're still on leave while you're physically recovering from being in a coma, so john has to go to work without you every morning, something he also hasn't done since you got married. he wishes he could bring you with him anyway, just to have you near him, but he knows that's selfish and you still need time.

✹ the base is dull without you.

✹ again, he keeps up the appearance that he's okay, and maybe it's a little more true this time now that you're actually awake, but he still feels your absence like a weight on his shoulders.

✹ the other three are pleased amongst themselves about your recovery, gaz and soap constantly asking him how you are; and he knows they mean well, but it's still irritating because how could you be okay? you don't even remember your own husband, nothing about this is okay.

✹ he keeps his grievances to himself though. he's still their captain, he can't afford to fall apart when he still has a job to do.

✹ he's woken up one night by soft footsteps in the living room. his neck aches as his eyes snap open, every sense on high alert until he realises it's just you. a quiet grunt escapes him as he sits up, massaging his sore muscles from sleeping on the sofa.

✹ when the sound of muffled crying reaches his ears, he's immediately on his feet, his heart racing as he shuffles over to where you're standing with a hand covering your mouth.

✹ he presses a hand to your back, rubbing soothing circles between your shoulder blades. you don't look at him, your crying only increasing in volume now you're not worried about waking him.

✹ now that he's right next to you, he sees through the darkness that you're holding one of your wedding photos. it's his favourite picture, the one where he's lifting you with an arm around your waist and you're both gazing into each other's eyes with the most lovestruck expression on your faces.

✹ "i– i know i love you, so wh-why can't i just remember you?" you sputter in between sobs, and you might as well have just ripped his heart out of his chest, because he can't stop the way he breaks down at your words.

✹ john wraps both arms tightly around you, caging you to his chest and nestling your head into the crook of his shoulder while pressing his own tear-stained face into the top of your head.

✹ "it's alright, love–" his voice cracks pitifully, and he's never felt quite as hopeless as he does in this moment. "it'll be alright, you'll remember, i promise…"

✹ he's not sure who he's trying to convince, you or himself as you both sink to the floor in each other's embrace. you stay like that for hours, crying for your lost memory into the early morning.

✹ after that, he can't be bothered to pretend he's okay anymore.

✹ he starts drinking again, shamelessly in the middle of the day and grumbling at gaz and ghost when they wrestle the bottle away from him. he knows you'd disapprove, but the toll of lying to himself and everyone around him has caught up. all he wanted was his partner back, the love of his life, you.

✹ the others try to knock some sense into him, but talking to him becomes like going back and forth with a brick wall. gaz even gets kate on the phone to yell at him, but nothing seems to get through. he orders them to leave him alone, stop asking about you, and it really feels like he's lost hope.

✹ it goes on like this for a week straight, nearly a full month since you first woke up.

✹ and then one boring afternoon, there's a commotion outside his office. john hears cheers and shouts from down the corridor, but he can't bring himself to care enough to investigate.

✹ he's not in the mood to celebrate whatever it is they're cheering about anyway.

✹ john's just about to stand and yell at them to shut up, but then you're suddenly standing at his door, slamming it behind you as you rush over to his desk. his face must be the picture of surprise as he swivels in his chair to follow you as you approach, opening his legs for you to stand between them.

✹ his breath catches in his throat as you cup his face, your touch so tender it has his heart hammering against his sternum like the very first time you touched him all those years ago. he plants his hands firmly on your hips, too afraid of getting his hopes up to say a single word as he watches you get closer.

✹ your face hovers just above his, warm breath fanning over his face as you inch ever closer. he sees your eyes glistening before they flutter shut, brushing your lips against his with an anticipation that has his skin tingling.

✹ when you pull away, his eyes stay closed, but he can hear the smile in your voice when you whisper,

✹ "i remember you now."

✹ his heart might’ve actually stopped at your words, surprise shooting through him like a bolt of lightning as his eyes snap open.

✹ in a second, he's lifting you by the waist and dropping you onto his desk, uncaring for the various papers that he brushes out of the way to make room for you.

✹ he can't stop the overjoyed laugh that rumbles in his chest now he's the one standing between your legs, gripping your face and pushing his lips back against your with all the passion he's been bottling up during your recovery.

✹ you smile into the kiss too, wrapping your arms securely around his neck, running your fingers up his neck and through his hair. it feels like a weight has lifted, something heavy in the back of his mind finally dissipating and allowing him to relax into your hold.

✹ the two of you break away after a moment, keeping him close to you as you press your forehead to his. "i'm sorry that i ever forgot you."

✹ "i can think of a way you can make it up to me, love…"

gaz

✹ you're so apologetic about your amnesia, it breaks his heart all over again. what's worse is that he has no idea what to do; he doesn't want to try and force you to remember, that would just stress you out more, but he wants you to remember him so desperately he feels it ache in his bones.

✹ in the end, he decides to just let things play out. he wants you to recover at your own pace, and not just because of him and how he feels about you.

✹ he also doesn't say a word about your relationship, but with how he initially reacted, he's sure you got the idea. you don't mention it either, which admittedly hurts a little, but he's sure the confusion of waking up to having a boyfriend who's name you don't even know is worse than how he feels about it.

✹ kyle vows to take care of you the moment you're discharged. he takes you to your room, shows you where everything is, makes sure you know where he is should you ever need anything, and he even introduces you to the others again.

✹ you still remember your job and how to do it so, once you're physically well enough, you get right back to it. they carry on as normal, the rest of the taskforce – assimilating you back into their nights of drinking and fucking around as if you'd never left.

✹ kyle still doesn't feel right about it.

✹ he doesn't want to treat you like glass, because you're exactly the same as when he first met you. you're still quick-witted, stubborn, and one of the toughest people he knows, you just… don't know him.

✹ it kills him on the inside, but he stays strong for you; the last thing he wants is to become the mess of a man he was when you were out, he doesn't want you to see him like that. he sorely misses spending his nights with you, and talking endlessly about your days to each other. he sends you longing glances every time you look away, wondering if you'd ever feel the same again.

✹ if you can go back to living normally, why can't he?

✹ but as the weeks go by, kyle notices how you start to withdraw, the loneliness that blocks out the light in your eyes that he loves so much. you fade into the background of conversations, sticking to listening rather than engaging.

✹ you watch them from afar, and he still knows you well enough to know what's going through your head. feeling somehow like you belong and also like an outsider at the same time, wishing you could understand the inside jokes you were a part of.

✹ he wishes more than anything that there was something he could do – make you understand that you're wanted, and you're a valuable part of the team even without your memories, but any time he brings it up you simply brush him off with that far away look in your eyes.

✹ three weeks go by before anything changes.

✹ it's the first time in a while they finally have an afternoon off, so of course they decide to spend it playing football on one of the fields within the bounds of the base. soap and ghost on one team, gaz and the captain on the other, with you spectating and keeping score on the sidelines.

✹ kyle offered to sit out if you wanted to play, but you'd brushed him off with the excuse of wanting to rest and read your book, laying out your jacket on the grass to sit on.

✹ he could tell you weren't all there, but he didn't know how to help you; so he just reassured you that you could call him over if you needed anything, and left you to guard his own jacket and water bottle before running off to join the game.

✹ the whole time he was sprinting around the field, he couldn't stop looking over to you over by the sidelines. he wasn't with it, he hadn't been since you woke up, really, and the others could tell.

✹ price abruptly calls half-time, clapping gaz on the shoulder and giving him a knowing look. "just talk to 'em, before it eats you alive." he chides, pushing him in your direction before he can think to protest.

✹ with a deep sigh and a glace backwards to the others, who shoo him away without a word, he jogs over to where you're sitting. the way the late afternoon sun hits you just right stops kyle dead in his tracks when he catches how it glows in your eyes. he feels a pull in his chest as he approaches you.

✹ you look up from your book as his shadow reaches you, shooting him a tiny smile as he drops himself next to you. he takes a swig from his water bottle as he catches his breath, extremely conscious of the way your teammates are pretending not to watch him while he comes up with the words.

✹ "so, who's winning then?" you ask, turning so you're facing him. he sees how your smile doesn't quite reach your eyes.

✹ "aren't you supposed to be keepin' score?" kyle chuckles, shifting slightly closer to you as you look away with a bashful expression. he allows your hands to brush, wanting nothing more than to lock your fingers together.

✹ "i'm not really paying attention."

✹ there's a beat of silence and that helpless feeling is back as he watches you look back out to the field, where the others are still kicking the ball back and forth.

✹ "how you doin'?" he asks, keeping his voice low as he leans in even closer to you. your mouth opens to respond, that slightly off smile back on your face, but before you can he places his hand fully over yours, giving it a comforting squeeze. "actually."

✹ you sigh, heavy and tired, and bring your gaze back over to his. "it's… hard." you begin, your eyes betraying the internal struggle. "and i'm… i know, before, we were–"

✹ he blinks and you're being sent over backwards by a football flying into your face with a smack that makes kyle's ears ring.

✹ immediately he's crouching over you, helping you sit back up and pressing the sleeve of his jacket to your nose, uncaring for the blood that stains it.

✹ "you alright?" he murmurs, gently holding your face as he inspects your nose. you nod, wincing at the movement, and take the sleeve of his jacket from him.

✹ once he's sure you're okay, his vision turns red with anger. it's pretty obvious who kicked the ball when he whips around to see soap kneeling on the ground with his head in his hands.

✹ "oi!" kyle shouts, sending him a deadly glare as he gets up. "soap, what the fuck!"

✹ the man in question looks up from his hands, an incredibly guilty look on his face. "i'm sorry pal! i dinnae ken what happened!"

✹ "just piss off, you prick!"

✹ kyle looks back to you, crouching down again with a concerned frown; but you're already looking at him, the silhouette of his own form reflected in your wide eyes. your nose is still dripping blood, but you drop his jacket and your hands to your lap anyway, mouth agape as you stare back at him.

✹ "what's wrong? are you–"

✹ you cut him off by tackling him to the ground with your arms around his neck, squeezing a surprised 'oof' from him as you land on top of his chest. one of his hands flies to your waist to steady you, the other carefully cradling your head.

✹ "i remember!" you cry, an elated laugh bubbling up as fresh tears wet your cheeks.

✹ kyle lets out a relieved laugh of his own, craning his neck to plant his lips firmly on yours with an infectious grin. in the background the others groan at the display of affection, but neither of you pay them any mind.

✹ eventually the two of you pull away, a wide smile still plastered on both of your faces as you get up from the grass. he pulls you in with the hand that still hasn't moved from your waist and leans to whisper in your ear,

✹ "fancy kickin' soap's arse?"

✹ "you read my mind."

soap

✹ johnny's enthusiastic with your recovery. anyone could've guessed that from the moment you woke up he'd be doting, eager to help you in any way you could need.

✹ yes, you didn't remember him, but be was just so ecstatic that you were okay – apart from the amnesia – that he couldn't find it in himself to be disappointed about it. you'd get your memories back soon enough, and then everything would go right back to the way it was.

✹ sometimes he gets a little carried away, forgets that while you are technically in a relationship, he's not much more than a stranger to you right now. more than once you end up having to ask him for some space because he's so incredibly touchy, and you're not sure how to handle it.

✹ you also request a temporary room to sleep in while you recover, separate from him. johnny's not sure how he feels about it.

✹ he feels that sinking feeling in his chest whenever you push him back with a hand on his chest, a polite smile tugging at your lips. it's disheartening, but he tries not to let it get to him. you'll remember soon, and then this will all be in the past.

✹ maybe you'll even laugh about it, how you could ever forget your wonderful boyfriend.

✹ he takes it upon himself to read up on amnesia, so he can better understand how to help you in any way you might need. once he learns that exposure to memories that you've lost can help your recovery, he eagerly convinces you to let him show you places that have meaning to you and your relationship with him.

✹ you agree, and he didn't actually need to do much convincing because you seem just as interested in the idea as him. he knocks on your door the following evening, offering you a single rose before whisking you away with a charming smile.

✹ he takes you on your first date all over again, with the same level of enthusiasm as before. he treats you to dinner at a relatively nice restaurant, telling you all about how the two of you got together in the first place, and memories you have together. he even orders you dessert, recalling with a chuckle how he accidentally guessed your favourite on your actual first date.

✹ once you both finish eating, he guides you by the hand to the canal for the second half of the date, a romantic moonlit stroll by the water. he pulls you close with an arm around your shoulders, meeting your eyes with a fond smile and a blush dusting his cheeks.

✹ "hold on…" you mutter, a pensive expression taking over your face as you stop walking. you turn to gaze at the water, seemingly working something out in your mind. "this… this is where gaz fell into the river that one time, right?"

✹ johnny's heart misses a beat, his eyes lighting up with renewed, excited hope as he grins at you. "you remember?"

✹ "a little, yeah," you smile, dropping your gaze and hands from his with a sorry scratch at the back of your neck. "the rest is still blank, though…"

✹ his smile falters, but he's quick to make sure you don't see his disappointment by pulling you into a reassuring hug. "that's still somethin'! you'll be good as new in nae time!"

✹ the next morning, he finds you and gaz in the rec room on one of the couches, talking animatedly with each other. that familiar shine is in your eyes, the sight johnny's been missing for the last few months. it makes his heart feel light, finally seeing you acting like your normal self again after so long.

✹ he approaches you both, watching you fondly as you talk and laugh with gaz, but his good mood is soured when you only briefly acknowledge his arrival when he sits down across from you, before resuming your conversation with gaz. his brow twitches downwards.

✹ gaz is one of your closest friends, and he’s glad you remembered him. he's happy that you got part of your memory back, even if it wasn't a part that included him.

✹ this was a good thing. you'd remember him soon, he was sure of it.

✹ a few more days pass until anything else notable happens. while you were in the gym together, you told him you felt a headache coming on, so he offered to walk you to the infirmary for some painkillers. the casual conversation you made on the way wouldn't have bothered him before, but he just couldn't shake the image of you and gaz being so comfortable, while he's still stuck on the outside.

✹ he doesn't say anything though. making you feel bad about it won't solve anything, and it's not like you're doing it on purpose, he knows you wouldn't do that to him. you were just excited to have a familiar face, that's all.

✹ while you're waiting for the medic on call, your head suddenly snaps to attention and you get that same pensive look on your face as that night by the river.

✹ "you got something?" johnny asks, bringing his hand up to rest on your upper back. he doesn't want to get his hopes up, but he can't help the way his heart flutters with optimism.

✹ you nod, a smile growing on your features. "i remember that time lt. dislocated my shoulder, and price basically forced him apologise to me," you laugh, thankfully facing away from johnny as his lips turn downwards, "god, he was pissed, it was honestly kinda funny."

✹ "what, uhm…" he lightly clears his throat, hoping you don't hear the dejection in his voice, "what about me?"

✹ you meet his eyes again with an apologetic shake of your head. "i'm sorry, soap…"

✹ "yer fine, it's–" he swallows thickly, waving you off with an exaggerated smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes, "this is good, it's progress."

✹ since then, he's given you more space. it's clear to him that his efforts aren't helping you remember him, it actually feels like it's having the opposite effect. of course, he's glad you remember your friends, but you still don't remember him – your own boyfriend.

✹ it's wrong, and he knows it is, but he's jealous.

✹ he has to watch you carry on like usual, without him. you haven't set foot in the room you used to share together since before you were comatose. he's done his best to disguise how much it hurts, but it still annoys him how no one else seems to notice how wrong it all is. the others don't need you like he does, they don't lay awake at night going over every moment, treasuring the time you called him yours, yearning with every fibre of his being to go back.

✹ it's been a month and a half since you woke up, six weeks of being so close yet so unbearably far from you. he prays to any god that will listen to bring you back to him, allow him to hold you in his arms once more, but nothing ever changes.

✹ the thread he's been hanging on by ever since you went down on that mission gone wrong is one more bad day away from snapping.

✹ he's approached by gaz one morning, while waiting for the others to begin training, who takes it upon himself to ask johnny about how you're recovering. when gaz teases him about how he was the first person you remembered, and johnny thinks he might just strangle him.

✹ "careful, soap, i might steal 'em away," gaz laughs, patting his shoulder with a camaraderie soap scoffs at.

✹ "shut the fuck up." he snarls, his face bunched in a strikingly out of character scowl. his hands twitch at his sides, nails digging painfully into his palms.

✹ gaz blinks, his eyebrows shooting up, clearly taken aback by the hostility from his friend. "alright, i was only jokin', mate."

✹ "aye, well, i'm nae laughin'."

✹ the tension is stifling. he can tell gaz wants to say something more, but he holds his tongue – too worried about upsetting soap any further.

✹ they stand in silence with each other like that for a while, gaz watching him from the corner of his eye while he keeps his gaze firmly on the grass below him.

✹ thankfully, after not too long the uneasy atmosphere is interrupted by a shout from the direction of the building, "johnny!"

✹ his head snaps to attention to see you, grinning uncontrollably and sprinting towards him at full speed.

✹ "wha–" he's caught off guard by how you leap into his arms, hooking your arms around his neck as he stumbles backwards in surprise.

✹ before he has time to question your actions, you're smashing your lips against his in a searing kiss that has johnny's head spinning. he wastes no time in reciprocating, securing one arm around your waist and bringing the other to the back of your head, using it you press you impossibly closer to him as he groans into your mouth.

✹ you reluctantly pull away, just enough to take a shaky breath, but johnny's had stays put on the back of your head. "i'm sorry i forgot, i'm sorry…" you mumble against his lips, dragging your fingers through the unkempt hair of his mohawk.

✹ he drops his head into the juncture of you neck and shoulder, inhaling deeply the scent of you that he's gone so long without. he laughs into you, slightly delirious and just so overjoyed to have you in his arms again that feels his eyes sting with tears.

✹ "i've missed you, bonnie," he chuckles wetly, pressing his lips back to yours in another desperate kiss, "i've missed you so much,"

✹ "i'll never forget you again."

ghost

✹ he avoids you like the plague.

✹ or he tries to, at least. but truth be told, after spending so much time learning to be vulnerable around you and allowing you into his guarded heart, it's difficult to go back to being a stranger to you.

✹ that, and he doesn't actually want to.

✹ but he needs to. being around you, the love of his life, knowing that you don't remember him, it's like a knife stuck between his ribs. any time he's in the same room as you he finds himself fighting the urge to grab your hand, or press his forehead against you.

✹ he knows you don't want him anymore, the last thing you deserve is a giant of a man – who you're clearly afraid of, even if you won't say it – hanging around you like a shadow.

✹ you're still kind to him, because of course you are, checking in on him and trying to talk to him any opportunity you get. it's nice, sometimes he can even pretend everything is normal when he shares a laugh with you, but then he sees the hesitance in your eyes and he's brought back to the cold reality of the situation.

✹ the weeks drag like this, every fleeting look from you another bleeding wound on his heart.

✹ he keeps it together surprisingly well, all things considered, but the breaking point comes when you find him having a smoke one night, on a bench just outside the barracks.

✹ "simon?" your voice cuts through the silence, his eyes snapping to you as you sit down next to him. he takes another long drag from his cigarette as he watches you, uncertainty in your voice as you continue, "can you tell me about… me? and us?"

✹ no matter how much he thinks he should, he can't look away from your pleading gaze.

✹ "we… you're everything to me," simon mutters, dropping his cigarette and putting it out with the heel of his boot, "i've never felt the way i do with you before, you've helped me more than you could ever know…"

✹ his vision blurs with unshed tears. the sadness on your face starts and ache in his heart, the desire to take you into his arms and just hold you making his skin bristle.

✹ "you don't have to feel the same way, but…" he pulls the balaclava from his head, setting it on the bench in the space between you, bearing his face to you like he always does, "even if you never get your memory back, i'll always love you."

✹ the way you look at him makes it so incredibly difficult not to cry. your eyes are glassy and far away, your bottom lip pulled between your teeth with an expression that screams guilt – but it's not your fault, and he'd never blame you.

✹ you open your mouth to say something, but the words never materialise. the night stays silent, and simon expects it, but it still makes his bones ache with a heaviness that he knows he can't shake.

✹ he stands, picking up his balaclava, and walks quietly past you to the barracks door. there's no fleeting look, not this time. he disappears to his room without another word.

✹ he's not sure how much later it is when he hears a knock on his door. minutes, hours, it didn't matter. it all blends together now.

✹ when he doesn't bother to answer, whoever it is lets themselves in, shutting the door gently behind themselves. he sits up with the intention of chewing them out, but when he opens his eyes they land on your form, curled in on yourself and shuffling quickly over to him.

✹ you're here, in his room, with a face that looks like you've been crying for hours, puffy and tear-stained with bloodshot eyes.

✹ he almost thinks he's dreaming, but the warmth as you wrap your arms around him and bring his face to your chest is too real, too familiar. he brings his arms up around your waist, releasing a shaky sigh into your skin as he squeezes you tighter against him.

✹ a few hot tears meet the top of his head as you whisper to him the words he's been waiting, longing to hear, rocking gently from side to side.

✹ "i remember, si."

✹ it feels like he can finally rest, like the state of being he's been living in for the last few months melts away with your touch and he feels safe again.

✹ with his grip around your waist, he hoists you onto his bed to lay back down with him, holding you tightly against his chest, your heart right beside his own racing one.

✹ you cradle his face again, pressing your lips to his face over and over, touching every inch of him with your love.

✹ "i'm sorry…" you whisper like a mantra, punctuating every kiss with an apology that makes his throat constrict with the raw emotion he feels. "i'm sorry,"

✹ "don't be…" he mirrors how you hold his face, tangling his legs with yours as he captures your mouth and pours every ounce of passion he has into the way he kisses you. "don't be, love."

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alonetimelover · 8 months

Note

I was wondering if you could write Harry kissing reader lips all the times. No matter where or with whom. During sex or doing domestic things pls

pairing: boyfriend!Harry x reader

summary: Harry's love language is physical touch, but especially showering you with kisses. Here are just a few types of them.

warnings: Suggestive content (alluding to smut, but nothing explicit, alluding to reader being submissive), lots of kisses.

a/n: Just boyfriendrry and his obsession with your lips. No specific trope of mine here, just cuteness overload. Thank you for requesting!!!

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At the beginning of your relationship Harry tried not to be overly all over you. He didn’t like the word clingy but he was the equivalent to it. In the dictionary, there could be his photo next to the definition of the word. But he tried to repress the urge to just touch your arm when you were sitting on the couch, holding your hand at all times while strolling all those World’s streets, keeping his hand on your thigh while driving, caressing your hair while you tried to fall asleep late at night, massaging your sore shoulders after coming home to him after work, or just squeezing you tight whenever he was passing you. He tried to repress it, making you wonder if there was something bad going on.

“What is your love language, Harry?” You finally asked him, while watching one of the movies from your TBW (to be watched) list. It was yet another time when he sat a metre away from you, as if you were contagious. It got you thinking.

“Why the question?”

“It’s just, I can’t crack it. I feel like you appreciate all of them but not one from what I do is your favourite. It’s just, I just want to cherish you the way you want to be,” you explained, now sitting sideways on the couch, face to face with Harry.

Harry breathed heavily, “well, I didn’t think I had one. I learned to do things that my partners appreciated and roll with it.”

“You mean none of your partners asked you the question?”

“Is that a usual question you ask?”

“I do. I mean, don’t you want to know what your partner appreciates and what they don’t like? I think the best way is to ask. It’s not only for pleasure but for creating boundaries. Those are as important.”

Now, Harry was thinking. One of the most important things he wanted to do in all of his relationships during the years was making his partners feel good, appreciated, and most importantly secure. He didn’t want them to be scared or not comfortable or even not sure about his feelings. And he now realised, you weren’t sure.

“I think it’s physical touch,” he finally said.

Well, that shut you up. And it did for a while, so Harry started to worry if you even heard him.

“Yeah, I heard you. I’m just,” you stopped for a moment. “Just surprised, I guess. I’m glad I asked.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Well, now that I know,” you prolonged the last word and moved on your knees, crawling towards Harry.

“What are you- oh!”

In seconds you were making yourself comfortable, laying down on Harry, head on his chest, one of your legs wrapping around his and arms embracing his waist, making him stop talking.

“I love physical touch. Please don’t hold yourself back anymore,” you whispered in his chest, not wanting to strain away from his warmth.

“Just tell me when I’m too clingy.” Harry kissed the top of your head.

“I will. It’s gonna be okay when we communicate,” you explained and added, “you have something else you want to do more as a couple?”

“Kisses,” he now said without hesitation, confident with his feelings and needs. Coming clear to you.

“Oh, the more you know, the more you know.”

So you spent the rest of your evening sharing kisses, touches and sweet nothings. Now sure about each other more than ever.

—

From the moment that conversation happened very early on your relationship, the physical touch was an indispensable part of it. It was everything from light touches under the table during all of the dinners you had in the public and holding hands while doing groceries to kissing you breathless against the door after coming home from a party, where you’d been teasing him throughout the whole night.

And those kisses and any other type of them were Harry’s favourite way of saying ‘I love you’ even when those words were not apparent in your relationship’s vocabulary.

At the beginning, the surprising kisses, being placed on your lips on any unexpected moment during your meetings were his favourite.

“You really can't just not scare me any time we see each other, eh?" you finally asked him, hand on your heart and trying to steady your breathing.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I'll do it softer next time," Harry promised, wrapping his hands around you and turning you so he could properly see your face.

"Softer? How about without giving me a near heart attack experience?"

"Mhmm."

But those words really just went in one ear and left through the other. Harry had something much greater to concentrate on. Your lips, smeared with tomato sauce you'd been preparing to go with dinner, were just a thing he gazed at.

"You're not listening."

"Of course, baby."

Just the way your lips were moving with the upper lip extra red made him answer not knowing what. He just wanted to drown into the endless waterfall of your kisses.

“Okay, great! That’s why I was thinking about breaking up. It just seems to be not working, you know?” You tested him, if your prediction of him not being actually there in front of you, was true.

“Yes, baby.”

Bingo. He was not listening.

“Harry, do you realise that we just broke up?”

Now, he was listening. You used his name. How could you use his actual name and not one of the established nicknames. You used ‘Harry’ and he now knew you meant business.

“What?”

“Oh, now you're listening! Great! Uhmm - I am making a spaghetti bolognese and need you to taste the sauce. It’s just missing something,” you said like not a minute ago you didn’t use the words ‘break up’ and ‘Harry’ in one sentence.

“Wait a minute. What ‘break up’?”

“Oh, you heard that?”

“Well, you called me Harry! Of course I heard what was said later.”

“That’s your name, love,” you teased, turning to the pan, stirring the sauce.

“That’s,” he emphasised. “That’s my name. Love, baby, my sweetest boyfriend, sexy, hottie. Whatever. You know it.” He pouted, making his way between you and the stove, as to have your undivided attention.

“Oh, is that true?” Teasing smile on your face, turning into a loving grin.

“Yep.” He popped the ‘p’ and dived towards your face, giving you sweet three kisses on your lips in a way to say ‘I love you’ without using those heavy words.

—

And somehow even after being used to saying ‘I love you’ all the time, those three kisses meaning those words stayed in your relationship ritual. Whenever he was leaving for tour - three kisses -, whenever you went to visit your family - three kisses -, whenever you stayed at home and he was going to the store - three kisses -, right before falling asleep - three kisses. It was just engraved in you both.

“I’ll see you in two weeks,” you said for the third time, assuring him.

“That’s too long.” He grimaced. “Can’t you just go with me?”

You laughed, “of course I can’t. I have a job, and I promised mum I would spend some time back home. And then,” you placed both of your arms around his neck, placing your hands in his overgrown locks. “And then I am joining you.”

Harry smiled, leaning in and placing his warm lips on your cold ones, making your breath hitched. No matter how many of those kisses you shared, each and every one of them, no matter how long or how needy they were, made you stumble and felt like it was the very first time he stole your breath away.

He was cursing himself in his mind, when the kiss grew very heavy and needy. When your hands pulled on his hair just the way he liked, and his knee was going right where you wanted. His hands slowly moved under your baggy shirt, sending shivers down your spine. His cold fingers slowly stroke your lower back and hips, then making their way just under your ass, so he could hold you up.

“Your plane is leaving in two hours, baby,” you said breathlessly, when Harry plastered your neck with some tiny and some mark-leaving kisses.

“Mhm, don’t care.”

“You’ll hate yourself if you’re not early enough at the airport.”

“Ugh,” he groaned. “How are you always right and rational even when I am very prominently trying for you to forget about everything, huh?”

He placed you back on your feet, now stroking your cheeks with his thumbs, gazing into your eyes, searching for any sign of ‘keep doing what you’ve been doing for the past five minutes’. Finding none.

“Need to put that on my resume,” you joked.

“If you were working for me? Sure. For anybody else? Uh, uh. Don’t need others thinking about you like this,” he whispered, eyeing you up and down.

“Possessive, are we?”

“Nah.” He shook his head. “Just in love.”

You smiled at him, and placed those final three kisses on his awaiting and slightly swollen lips.

“I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

“I’ll miss you. I love you.”

—

Like in each and every relationship there were times where you didn’t agree on certain things. Times when you argued. Times when you had silent days. And during those silent days, Harry still, a little bit proud and sometimes with a bruised ego, didn’t want to speak. But he couldn’t live without kissing you. As confusing as it was, you appreciated that. Even though you both were angry at each other, or disappointed in one another, or too proud to admit that the other was right - you would never refuse his kisses.

Well, you once tried.

“I don’t want you to kiss me,” you said seriously, immediately going back to reading your novel.

Harry’s brows scrunched and he cleared his throat. That hurt more than the argument, he thought. But he wouldn’t say it. He was mad and promised himself, childishly, to give you a silent treatment. It was a one time situation that he never redid.

So he sat down next to you on the couch and waited patiently for you to speak up. He waited for hours till the moment you finished a part of a book that you had promised yourself you’d do. Then, you closed it and turned towards him.

“Are you going to talk to me now?”

He sighed, placing one hand on your knee, squeezing it gently.

“I’m sorry.”

“I am too.”

“For the argument and the silence that I thought would be the best,” Harry resumed his apology after you said yours. “I know, we agreed on communicating. I’m sorry.”

“We’ll do it next time. No one said that we are perfect and are going to stick to the plan all the time. Mistakes are going to happen, probably more frequently than not. It’s just the way humans, we, are.”

Harry smiled as you started stroking his cheek lovingly. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“And you were right,” he added. “My ego couldn’t take it.”

“I understand. Mine couldn’t either. We need to keep each other in check, shouldn’t we?”

“Yes. But I have one request.”

You encouraged him to continue by nodding your hand.

“Never, and I really mean it, never refuse my kisses. It hurt me more than anything ever. No matter how angry we are at each other, just promise me, you won’t refuse a kiss from me.”

If it was possible your eyes would immediately flow with tears and sobs would come out of your mouth. Harry was too good and sweet for this world. And his obsession with kisses just added up to his lovingness in an attempt to make sure you knew how loved you were.

“Promise.”

And you sealed that promise with a sweet kiss.

—

There was one more special type of a kiss that Harry provided you with. One that just screamed: bedroom. Or, you know, just let’s go and be alone with each other. It was discreet so whenever you were in public, or with your family or friends, they wouldn’t know what was going on.

It was very simple. Harry would look like whispering something in your ear, but in reality he was kissing and sometimes slightly grazing the skin right under with his teeth, showering your body with goosebumps.

The first time he did that was in his bed, no one was around, just you and him. You were lying for him, just the way he wanted you to. In the middle of the bed, pillow under your head to make you comfortable and hands placed underneath it to forbid you of touching. You laid there at his mercy watching as he moved around the room in just his dress pants - belt forgotten on the floor (already done with its job), button and zipper open, his underwear peeking.

He finally stopped walking, standing at the end of the bed, right in front of you. Holding both of your ankles in each hand he moved them apart, placing them just far enough so he could fit between your legs. With eyes locked into yours, he kneeled on the bed, kissed one and then the second of your knees still not averting his gaze from you. Your breath hitched, a moan daring to escape your lips.

“Don’t hold it in. I want to hear you, sweet girl,” Harry said.

Of course he noticed the shallow and rapid breaths, warm skin and shy gaze from you. He noticed how you were forbidding him from hearing your voice, hearing how good he made you feel even though he barely touched you today. He needed to know your every thought and feeling right now.

He smirked when you moaned after he squeezed and then caressed your inner thigh.

Finally, to end your misery and yearning, he leaned down, bearing down on one of his forearms. His face daring closer and closer to yours, edging you endlessly. You wanted to just grab his head and kiss him right this moment, but knew that wouldn’t lead you to any good. You learned your lesson the hard way.

“Now,” he started, his face just inches away from your ear. “I think I can start to properly thank you, huh?”

You gulped, not knowing if the noise that would come out of your mouth would be a coherent sentence (a simple ‘yes’) or a loud, needy moan. You knew Harry would encourage you to speak up. He needed to hear you and he could wait more to just hear those three letters.

“Words, sweet girl. I need to hear you saying it.”

His hand once again moved to your thigh, his fingertips tickling your skin, so delicate, so familiar and needed. He was testing you, almost as he wanted you to fail his little test, wanting to see you crumble underneath him.

“Yes, yes. Please.”

He grinned, and it had nothing to do with a teasing smirk he liked to send your way nor the teasing smile he flashed you from time to time. That grin was just perfection, like showing your entire love on your hand, giving it away to that one and only.

And then he kissed that spot for the very first time. And you weren’t silent, loudly giving him a pointer that it was a way to see you fall apart from the simplest of pleasures.

“Mhmm,” he chuckled. “I’m gonna use it more from now on.”

—

a/n: a little challenge for myself to write something more intimate. i hope you liked it!

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #boyfriend!harry

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onlyjaeyun · 3 months

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𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 – 𝟐𝟒

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑: 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞

⤥ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⤥ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬!𝐀𝐔

⤥ 𝐰𝐜: 𝟗.𝟕𝐤

⤥ 𝐜𝐰: 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝟑𝐱, 𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥 (𝐟.𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠), 𝐦𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐬𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐝𝐲𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲, 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐭 (𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡), 𝐜𝐡𝟎𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐨𝐧𝐞 (𝟏) 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐞, 𝐧𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐞

⤥ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐀 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞, 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬. 𝐀 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐧 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐲'𝐬 𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤.

You can’t actually remember the last time an outing with your friends didn’t end with a visit to your apartment. No matter where or when, they somehow always find their way back to your home and since you and Riki had decided to move into the same apartment complex as your boys, your flat has become the ultimate hangout spot.

Usually Sunghoon’s the first one to say his farewells and leave, simply because he doesn’t want to spend too much time with you, but also because he’d rather have his best friends have a good time than enjoy it with them.

However, this night is different.

For some weird reason, a lot of things didn’t go the way they usually have and as his eyes almost anxiously roam the interior of your hallway, Sunghoon feels this weird sense of comfort hit his nerves.

He’s only been to your new apartment once ever since you moved in almost six months ago, and the reason for that was your brother’s constant nagging about his best friend and mentor needing to meet their new cats.

All those weeks ago, Sunghoon had refused to stay longer than an hour, despite his knowledge of the fact that you wouldn’t be home for a few more hours. Being in your home didn’t feel right. Not without you walking around in it.

Sunghoon lets out a deep sigh in hopes of getting rid of some of the tension in his muscles because he’s currently dealing with the consequences of his own decisions, yet the urge to turn around and just walk back to his own apartment becomes overwhelming.

Riki knows that no matter how much they hate each other, neither you or your archenemy would ever deny him any request, so when the young hockey prodigy had asked whether you and your best friend could join in on the night out, Sunghoon simply didn’t know how to say no.

So that’s how the young man found himself at a random barbecue restaurant, paying for not only his friends but your drinks as well, wondering if you finally feel better or not all while munching on something his friends had put on his plate.

Throughout the whole dinner, Sunghoon remained silent. There was just nothing he deemed important enough to bring up, so he sat back and listened to the rest of you.

With every single one of your giggles and smiles, the sight of your new set of nails and lashes, this heaviness on his chest had started to subdue and before he could even realise it, Sunghoon caught himself listening to one of your girls’ night stories and being genuinely invested.

Asking if you ended up beating that random girl up had started burning on the tip of his tongue but after he had unintentionally chuckled at a few of your jokes, Sunghoon forced himself to keep it down.

He still hates you. However, he’s not some weird empathy lacking monster the way you love to portray him as and even if a whole week had passed since the last time you had been together, Hoon just couldn’t get over the sight of your tears and sound of your sobs.

He hates how much he’s been thinking about your emotional wellbeing. Whatever’s going on between the two of you was supposed to be physical, a way to get rid of his tension and frustration, something to take his mind off of things; an easy way out of his daily routine, nothing else.

So why did it make him so..uncomfortable to see your tears and listen to your painful sobs? Why was he so stressed when you had refused to let him turn you onto your back and why did he feel genuinely upset when you told him to fuck off after he had gone out of his way to ask if you’re okay?

Sunghoon has yet to find the answer to all of these questions and after almost a week of forcing himself to forget about your existence, he’s now stuck in a situation he could have easily prevented if he only knew how to say no.

To his luck, you had made sure none of the boys stayed too long since you still had to pack for your flight the next day, making him feel relieved as he takes off his leather jacket, casually revealing his toned arms and letting out another soft sigh when he notices something tiny and dark in the corner of his eye.

As soon his gaze falls to the floor and meets the sight of one of your newly adopted little kittens, Sunghoon forgets about the chaos in his head for a few minutes and before he can scan his surroundings to make sure you’re not around, he scrounges down and holds his hand out with a big smile on his plump lips.

It takes you a full blown moment to process the current scenario unfolding right in front of you, as Kawa, the shier and more hesitant one of your twins casually nuzzles his tiny face against Sunghoon’s palm after giving it the shortest sniff you’ve ever seen him do.

For some reason you can’t help but be surprised because this is only the second time the kitten has been around the faux blonde, yet doesn’t seem to feel anywhere as scared or uncomfortable as he normally does around strangers.

You attentively watch Sunghoon petting Kawa, his little purrs echoing in your empty hallways as the other ones have made their way into the living room already, leaving the two of you alone.

And as your eyes slowly roam his veiny hands before they find their way to his strong arms, you actually catch yourself craving the feeling of his skin underneath your fingertips.

You hate admitting how much you want him to make you feel good again, despite the fact he hasn’t actually hit you up again since your mid-fuck mental breakdown and the fact you’re not even denying your hunger has definitely taken its toll on your ego.

You’ve tried your very best to ignore how much your lack of physical intimacy with Sunghoon these past few days, especially since you’re quite sure he won’t bother to hit you up ever again after witnessing such secondhand embarrassment.

No matter how much you despise him as a person, you can’t and won’t deny just how good of a lover he actually is. Sunghoon just knows exactly what to do and how to touch you to make you feel good and after getting so used to his touch, you’re definitely not too proud to admit how much you’ll think about how good he’s made you feel. None of your previous intimacy partners or boyfriends had ever managed to make you cum as effortlessly and easily as Park Sunghoon, of all people.

But at the end of the day you’ve accepted your fate and know there’s no point in grieving something you were never destined to have, maybe that’s why it felt as good as it did.

“Can I pick him up?”

The sudden sound of Sunghoon’s voice brutally pulls you back into reality and with jolts of embarrassment rushing through your system, you force yourself to look up at him and actually meet his gaze.

“Sure”, is the only thing you say before you finally make your way into the living room and get comfortable on the floor right in between your brother and your best friend.

It doesn’t take Sunghoon longer than a minute to follow you, his sudden presence in combination with your little kitten on his arm pulling the whole group’s attention on himself, allowing you to sneak a few more quick glances.

There’s just something about Park Sunghoon that makes your whole body heat up in the worst, yet most satisfying way possible. His strong, toned arms on full display because of his sleeveless shirt, a choice you’d usually question especially considering the current season and weather situation, but as someone who basically grew up on the ice rink, you’re not surprised about his immunity to the cold.

With a soft sigh your eyes slowly fall to his plump lips, his little fangs peeking out as soon as one of the boys make him laugh and before you can even realise it, Tsuki rams her elbow into your side and stares at you in disbelief.

“Did you just smile because he started laughing?”

Her words leave you completely speechless because yes, you actually did what she has just accused you of.

“It’s official”, you whisper and turn your whole body away from the young coach, “I’m losing my mind.”

“Over some dick? It can’t be that good, my love, be honest with me”, your best friend’s words are honest and true, yet also quite slurred as the three bottles of soju have finally spread in her system and therefore turning her into unhinged and very loud company.

To your luck all of the boys are too mesmerized by the kittens and too drunk to pay any attention to your little meltdown, except for Sunghoon.

He can’t explain it, yet whenever you’re staring at him, it’s like he can feel it in the pit of his stomach and as he watches the way you bury your face in your best friend’s neck as you both burst into a row of high pitched giggles, a mixture of annoyance and anger starts boiling in his blood when he realises how he actually doesn’t mind seeing you so happy and careless.

Without wasting any more time and energ on these new emotions, Sunghoon simply shifts his attention back to the boys and to his luck, he manages to engage in their random conversations rather quickly.

The following two hours are filled with little games and lots of laughter, silly jokes and rather interesting discussions, mostly between the triplets who have slowly started becoming more and more irritated as the lack of sleep caught up on them.

By the time you come back with your third glass of wine of the night, you’ve successfully put the younger boys to bed, making sure they’re firmly tucked in and even giving them all a forehead kiss knowing you probably won’t get the chance again for the next two weeks.

As you get comfortable next to Jaeyun, you’re sat right across from your favorite person (not) and the urge to stare at him has become absolutely unbearable. This time however, you’re adamant about blaming it on the little alcohol in your system. The way you’ve been doing every single time you’ve found yourself in a situation like this with him, of all people.

“Let’s play truth or dare”, Jongseong suddenly shout-whispers, his enthusiasm not matched as you all collectively decide to just shoot him a side glance and ignore his suggestion.

“You guys are so fucking lame”, he pouts and throws himself back on the couch before he jumps on his feet in the same second and goes to look for a bottle to spin.

For some reason none of you actually bother to protest when your best friend comes back with the very much needed item, casually placing it in the middle of your little coffee table and quickly spinning it.

“This is so boring, Jong”, Heeseung complains and pulls his girlfriend closer against his body, loving the new found freedom of being so openly affectionate agter having to be subtle about it for so long.

“Shut the fuck up”, Jaeyun suddenly says and sits up, his srm still firmly thrown over your shoulders as he pulls you with him and with a quick roll of your eyes you accept your fate yet again.

Despite your initial lack of enthusiasm, you all end up having much more fun that you could have expected as the boys casually force each other to admit some of their secrets.

To your luck, the bottle has yet to point in your dorection and as your friends become less hinged with their requests and questions, you can’t help but get a little anxious at the thought of the possible things they could request or ask about.

You’ve definitely noticed the burning gaze in your side this past hour but for your own sanity’s sake you’ve decided to just ignore him. There’s no point in getting worked up about something that won't happen and doesn’t matter anyway.

You don’t actually want Sunghoon, per se, you want to cum without having to do anything for it and since he’s been the only guy to achieve just that, you basically want that ability of his, not him as a person. And you definitely, absolutely do not want him to kiss you again because his lips and the feeling of his tongue exploring your mouth have never once left your mind for the past week.

“Y/N, babe”, Jong says and nudges your thigh with his knuckles, pulling you out of your forbidden daydream and as soon as your gaze meets his, he nods towards the bottle to let you know it’s actually your turn now.

“Truth or dare, pretty girl?” Heeseung chuckles and takes a sip from his bear, his hand firmly placed on your best friend’s thigh as he waits for your answer and with a soft sigh you mumble a quick ‘dare’, not ready to answer any intimate questions in the presence of your archenemy.

“Oh? We’re starting off strong, hm?” Jaeyun smirks, all three boys looking at each other with shit eating grins on their faces and that’s the exact moment you realise you fucked ul.

They’re going to make you do something awful and knowing them, they will get what they want, no matter what.

“I want you to sit on Sunghoon’s lap until the bottle points at you again”, Heeseung then says and starts laughing as soon as he watches both your and Sunghoon’s jaw hit the floor

“No fucking way”, the faux blonde is quick to protest, his hands balled into fist as he shifts uncomfortably in his seat and with your eyebrows arched in shock you simply shake your head.

“You have no speech right, Sir”, Jong spits back at his best friend, all eyes remaining on you and before you can stop yourself, you turn to look at Sunghoon, too overwhelmed by a request so bold.

“What if I don’t want to do it? Because I’d rather shit in my hands and start clapping for an hour, if I’m being honest”, you say and chug down the remaining wine in your glass, jolts of excitement and heat rushing through your veins and as soon as you give them their names, you furrow your brow in utter confusion. Why the fuck are you excited about the possibility of sitting in his lap?

“If you don’t want to do it you can also choose to tell us the reason behind your fall out ten years ago”, Jaeyun says and looks at you with raised eyebrows, all three boys knowing you’d never drop a bomb that big at such a random moment and before you can even overthink anything, you simply get on your feet and make your way to Sunghoon, who has yet to understand what the fuck is happening.

“You can’t be fucking serious”, he spits and looks up at you with flushed cheeks and bir swollen lips, a sight you’ve grown so used to because of the uncountable amount of hours he’s spent with his face buried between your legs.

“Stop being a whiny bitch and lean back”, you hiss and push him to lean against the back of your couch before you get yourself comfortable on his lap, purposely turning your back on him and skillfully ignoring the heat pooling in the deepest pits of your stomach.

“She actually fucking did it”, Jongseong says in utter shock, “you really don’t want us to know.”

“Go get fucked, Jay”, you say and raise your middle finger in the direction of the other two boys who have yet to stop staring at the weird sight of you so close to the one man you’ve avoided to even look at for years.

“I can’t lie, y’all actually are very visually pleasing together”, Heeseung comments and shoots you a cheeky smile, only for his girlfriend to slap his arm with a pout on her pretty lips.

“Stop teasing them, you’re being mean”, Tsuki scolds not only Seung but also the other two boys and before anyone can say anything else, you move your body forward to reach for the bottle.

It’s then that you take notice of the slight bulge underneath you and with your eyes slightly widened you quickly pull your bottom lip between your teeth and desperately try to hold back a whimper from escaping your throat.

The urge to just grind against him slowly becoming unbearable but luckily the boys don’t give you the opportunity to lose yourself in those urges ss they start cheering when the tip of the bottle points to Jongseong for the nth time within the past hour.

For the next few minutes, Sunghoon remains completely silent. Overwhelmed by feeling of your body so close against his and the warmth of your cunt so unbearably close to where he’s been needing you the most and if it wasn’t for his well established self control, he would have bent you over the coffee table and fucked your brains out twice already.

It doesn’t matter how much he denies it, because at the end of the day his own words have finally bitten him in the ass as he realizes that his body will forever betray him.

Because here he is in a room with his best friends, forcing himself to ignore his raging boner and the hypnotizing scent of your perfume in his nose.

Your constant squirming and accidental touches against his thighs just seem to make everything worse and when you obviously refuse to stop moving for no reason, Sunghoon subconsciously reaches for your thighs and makes sure you know not to fuck with him.

He’s unhinged and he doesn’t actually give enough fucks to keep what’s been going on between the two of you a secret and you know it: he will fuck you in front of your friends if you don’t stop playing with his patience.

“Fucking finally”, you suddenly say and jump off of his lap, the unexpected lack of skinship eliciting a deep grunt from his throat but to Hoon’s luck his best friends are already too wasted to notice.

“What a shame, you two looked so cute”, Jaeyun faux pouts and blows you both a kiss when you turn into a choir to tell him to shut the fuck up.

“Park Sunghoon”, Jay cooes and reaches for his best friend's chin, “truth or dare?”

Before he can actually process what’s currently going on, Hoon shoots back with a quick ‘truth’ followed by the feeling of instant regret.

“Tell us the real reason why you beat up Jaemin”, Jay says and chuckles, no realising the weight his question comes with and for a moment you find yourself staring at your best friend with furrowed brow and confusion written all over your face.

“What the fuck are you talking about, Jongseong?” Sunghoon presses through gritted teeth, his body so tense you can see every single one of his veins popping up underneath his fair skin.

His reaction just irritates you even more because there’s absolutely no way this can be true.

Why the fuck would Sunghoon, of all people, beat up your ex boyfriend?

You knew it had to be one of your boys and to your defense, you never gave it another thought, simply because you didn’t want to torture yourself.

“Oh fuck”, Jay suddenly says when he finally realizes what he’s just said, his eyes quickly meeting yours but after years of knowing each other, you’ve become a pro at reading your friends’ facial expression and the longer your gaze jumps from one boy to the other, the more you feel approved in your gut feeling.

Jay wasn’t lying or joking.

Sunghoon really did beat up Jaemin. With a bat. Not only did he beat him up, he actually broke several of his ribs and his wrist, all while making sure you received an actual apology and scaring the young analyst enough for him to not file a report against him.

“What the fuck is he talking about?”

This time, you don’t even bother looking for the answers in your best friends’ faces as your eyes meet the gaze of your archenemy.

A mixture of anger and annoyance gleaming in the brown of Sunghoon’s eyes, yet again giving you an answer without using any words.

“Stop looking at me like that, you stupid fuck”, you suddenly spit and get up from your spot on the floor, a weird mixture of anger and satisfaction filling your chest at the thought of finally knowing who got your revenge, but forcing yourself to focus on the actual person rather than his actions.

“Explain yourself. Right fucking now.”

“Get the fuck out of my face”, Sunghoon grunts and imitates your reaction, easily hovering over you and you hate how good he looks with his messy fringe falling into his flushed face.

Is he flustered?

“I don’t owe you shit”, he proceeds and attempts to move away from you and towards the door, but you’re definitely not going to let him run away the way he loves to when it comes to taking responsibility for his actions.

It just doesn’t make sense as to why he, of all people, would go out of his way to do something..for you?

“Don’t you dare to fuck off right now”, you say and look up at him with glossy eyes, furrowed brows and your pretty lips pressed into a thin line, the sight so tempting, Sunghoon has to physically hold himself back from actually kissing you again.

He hates you. He doesn’t give a fuck about you or the things you want. All he wants is to finally bury his face in your cunt again, that’s it.

Sunghoon doesn’t owe you or in fact, nobody an explanation and he won't give in just because of his best friend’s big mouth.

At this point Hoon’s skillyfully ignoring the fact that he actually doesn't know why he did what he did but he’s aware that there might be more behind his casual urge to put people into their place. But there’s no way he’s going to give you the satisfaction of hearing him say those thoughts out loud.

“Back the fuck off, Snowflake”, Sunghoon says firmly and that’s when you realise just how close you are to him, the tension thick and heavy in the silence lingering in your living room.

You can feel the boys’ and tsuki’s gazes boring into your side, but for the first time in over a decade, you’re determined to keep your attention on nobody but Park Sunghoon.

“Just once”, you suddenly say, reminding him of the words he had said to you on Jaeyun’s birthday, unsure whether or not he’ll actually be decent enough to give you the answers you’re demanding, “be fucking honest with me for once. Did you beat up Jaemin?”

When the roles were reversed, Sunghoon had wondered how easy it was for him to convince you to speak up but as his eyes nervously roam your soft features, he physically can’t stop himself from nodding in response to your question; pushing himself into your position from a few weeks ago.

“What the fuck?”

Your voice is laced in genuine confusion but the gentle gleam of satisfaction and excitement in your eyes claim the opposite.

When Sunghoon had listened in on his friends’ conversation about your ex boyfriend and the things he’s apparently texted you, he somehow felt the urge to just give him a piece of his mind and before he could actually overthink it again, he found himself outside of Jaemin’s work building, patiently waiting for the young analyst to make his way home.

To his luck, he never actually recognized him, but Hoon had to make sure that gutless fucker kept his name out of this whole shitshow and focus on the task on hand. He never meant to go as hard as he did but the more he thought about the things your ex-boyfriend had said to you, the angrier he became and after getting too invested, Sunghoon had decided to just take a step back because there’s absolutely no reason for him to be so mad and angry at Jaemin.

He doesn’t give a fuck about you, never has with any of your previous wannabe lovers and never will, but this time he let his instincts take over rather than his rational thinking. Sunghoon isn’t quite sure as to why exactly he did it but he knows for sure it wasn’t because of any emotional reaction.

“I did it because I wanted to, don’t read anything into this”, Hoon suddenly says and rolls his eyes at you, yet adamantly refuses to look into your eyes, “it’s been weeks now, so please don’t make a big deal about it.”

“A big deal – are you fucking mental? You beat up my boyfriend, broke his wrist and his ribs!”

Maybe it’s the sexual frustration or lack of satisfaction, but for some reason you physically can’t stop yourself from pushing Sunghoon’s buttons. Usually you don’t think too much about the things he says, just snap back and turn him off whenever he starts annoying you, but this time is different.

You want him to react to your words.

“He’s your ex-boyfriend, you stupid fuck and big news! I even used a hockey bat”, he suddenly spits back at you, the tip of his ears tinted in a deep shade of red as the anger you had aimed at starts spreading in his system.

There’s just something about Park Sunghoon and his anger which never fails to turn your panties into a soaked mess.

Tomorrow morning you’re definitely going to hate yourself for all these thoughts but right now the only thing you genuinely care about is how good Sunghoon looks with his brows furrowed and his plump

lips pressed into a thin line.

“Okay, guys, how about we talk about this when we’re all sober to make sure nothing happens”, Jaeyun suddenly says and it’s then that you realise just how long the two of you have just been staring at each other.

With a scoff you turn away, annoyed because of your body’s reaction, annoyed at the fact your friends knew about Sunghoon’s actions and confused because regardless of it all, you physically can’t get yourself to stop thinking about fucking him. The worst part about it being how your brain constantly creates the mental image of him underneath you, a position the two of you have vehemently refused to try simply because you’re not ready to give him the satisfaction it comes with.

You still remember how Hoon had asked you to ride him multiple times, only for you to refuse him every single time. There’s just something so intimate about having someone underneath you and from quite a few conversations with your best friends you know this might be a rather unique opinion, you’ve always waited until you actually felt wanted and desired by your partners until you had decided to give them the experience of giving their control to you.

After so many years and several sexual encounters, you’ve now found yourself in the dilemma of whether or not to just pull him to the side and tell him to meet you at his car later tonight or just drop the whole thing and not waste another minute thinking about it.

“I’m out”, Sunghoon suddenly hisses and shoots you a quick glance of distaste and annoyance, “see you guys around.”

“Yeah, fuck off, you coward”, you reply almost instinctively, receiving nothing but a middle finger in response and with your bottom lip firmly pulled between your teeth, you just turn around and basically run to the balcony in hopes of drowning your arousal in nicotine to finally get rid of it.

Once you’ve finally said your last farewells to the boys, Tsuki giving you a tight hug and a huge kiss on your forehead on her way out, you find yourself recklessly tossing and turning around in your bed.

Thoughts and mental images of Sunghoon, his moans, his words and his voice, his touches and the way he never fails to push you to the edge with just a few flicks of his tongue have basically engraved themselves into your brain and after finding out about his relation to the whole shitshow with your abusive ex boyfriend, you can’t help but feel the actual to show him your gratitude.

Never in a million years could you have prepared yourself for thoughts like this. You don’t even like the guy, so why the fuck would you ever bother making sure he knows you’re grateful for what he’s done. Especially when the reason for his decisions and actions probably has nothing but selfish intentions.

Every now and then you find yourself on his chat, contemplating whether or not to just text him but with all three boys soundly asleep down the hallway, you know he would never come up to actually see you.

On top of that, you’re pretty sure he’s firm on his decision to not get involved with you again, regardless of his body’s reaction to you just a few hours prior.

As the clock strikes three, you give up and decide to take matters into your own hands. After your little breakdown, you didn’t even hesitate to order yourself a new vibrator because you knew you’d be back to taking care of your little problems yourself, so with a soft sigh you reach into the bottom drawer of your nightstand and pull out the little silicone toy.

However, as if destiny had just waited for this particular moment, Sunghoon’s contact name suddenly pops up on your phone screen and with your brows furrowed in confusion, you pick up his call way too fast.

“Don’t even bother yapping”, he says calmly, his voice hoarse and raspy, “just get your ass to my place. Jaeyun went over to stay at Jay’s place because they wanted to play games. Don’t make me wait, Snowflake.”

Sunghoon doesn't give you the opportunity to reply as he hangs up and throws his phone to the other side of his bed, jumping up to make himself look presentable – a thought he has yet to accept but as he washes his face and actually brushes his teeth, he simply can’t get himself to actually care about it.

The past two hours felt agitating. After you’ve successfully managed to make him hard with just a single touch, he’s been trying everything in his book to just cum only to fail miserably every single time.

He’s always wondered why other guys struggled to make you cum, labeled it as a women problem and went on with his day because never in his life has he experienced something like this. The fact he’s only ever crossed the finish line with your pictures on his phone screen or the little voice note you had sent him a few weeks ago during one of your steamy texting sessions has slowly turned into his biggest nightmare.

He’s a fucking man, for god’s sake. There’s absolutely no reason why he should struggle as much as he does yet here he is, patiently waiting for you to actually take him up on his offer.

When he had finally made the decision to give you a call, Sunghoon wasn't sure if you were even going to pick up because even if you didn’t seem as bothered and angered by his actions as he had expected you to be, he couldn’t help but doubt his ability to read your body language.

However, you picked up his call and didn’t try to contact him afterwards, which is his only indication of a possible night with you.

The mere thought of your sweet juices coating his tongue have him reaching for something to stabilize himself; he hates how much he actually likes your little pussy but he’s never been one to discredit what makes him feel good.

As the minutes pass and feel like hours, Sunghoon can’t help but wonder if he actually misread your body language, a wave of shame and embarrassment quickly overwhelming him and as he realises that he’s literally waiting for you, he struggles to recognize himself.

To his luck, destiny and life have finally come together to save him from self hatred and the torture it comes with as a soft knock on his front door sends shivers of actual anticipation run doen his back.

Subghoon waits exactly half a minute before he swings the door open and finally lays his eyes on your pretty frame. The fact he doesn’t even worry about hiding how much he wants you as his gaze hungrily roams your body, makes your skin heat up and if it wasn’t for your lack of clothes, you would have probably started sweating.

For a moment, neither one of you dares to say a word. The tension is thick and heavy, even worse than a few hours ago because now it’s just the two of you and the unbearable lust that’s been driving you both into insanity.

Sunghoon attentively watches the way you nervously scratch your neck and your reaction to his presence makes it impossible for him to suppress the little smirk sneaking up on his lips.

“It’s only been a week, snowflake”, he suddenly snickers and steps to the side to let you in, the sight of you in his hallway something he’s more used to, feels more comfortable with since it’s rather common for you to be at his shared apartment with Jaeyun, yet this seems to feel different.

“Shut the fuck up”, you say and roll your eyes, you don’t even bother to look back if he’s following you as you make your way to his room, skillfully ignoring the heat pooling in between your legs at the thought of what’s about to happen.

Sunghoon doesn’t immediately respond, mostly because he’s too focused on the way you’re swaying your hips with every step, the tiny camisole you’re wearing is not enough fabric to cover anything and giving him exactly what he’s been daydreaming about for the past week.

However, the second he locks the door to his room, you feel his strong chest pressing into your back, the prominent bulge in his grey sweats firmly nuzzled against your ass as he pushes you against the wall.

“You’re always so quick to bite, Snowflake”, Hoon whispers into your ear and wraps his big hand around your delicate throat, tilting your head back to get a proper look at your pretty face, a sight he has yet to get used to so up close, “I guess it’s time I fuck that little bitch attitude out if you again, hm?”

A soft whimper escapes your throat in response to his other hand finding home between your legs, gently caressing your clothed cunt but still firmly enough to give your clit the relief it’s been craving for way too long.

Your brain is quick to shut off, something you’ve noticed about yourself ever since you’ve started to sleep with Sunghoon. Of all people in this world, your archenemy has turned out to be the only one to make you forget about everything that’s currently going on in your life.

Maybe that’s why you don’t really hesitate to move your hips against his touch or actually allow yourself to moan his name. No amount of hatred and anger you feel towards him will ever be enough to overpower the deep, flaming lust in the deepest pits of your soul.

“Look at you”, Sunghoon suddenly chuckles and pulls your soaked panties to the side, “all because you sat on my lap for a little. Really? Are you that pathetic, snowflake?” His voice is filled with mockery and faux empathy, something you should have gotten used to by now but every time Hoon talks to you, it’s like he’s singing lullabies.

All you can do is nod desperately. You’ve been too tense, too stressed and frustrated to fight back, and he knows it.

So without an ounce of hesitation, he pulls away and leaves you longing for his touch, desperately, shamelessly. “You fucking bitch”, you hiss and turn around to meet gis gaze, only for the sight of his exposed torso to leave you speechless.

“Oh, no”, Sunghoon cooes and shoots you a shit eating grin, “an I being a big ol’ meanie? Not giving you what you want, hm? Come on, Baby, show me what you’ve got, I don’t want you to hold back with me. Tell me how much you hate me.”

He’s provoking and just as usual he’s doing it way too easily, a reminder of just how much he actually triggers you.

The longer your eyes roam his face, the needier you become and you know it’s because you actually are as easy for him as he loves to claim in front of you, but in no universe are you ready to admit that to him.

“Stop wasting my fucking time, Cunty”, you spit back and approach him with little steps, coming to a halt only an inch away from his strong body, “I want to ride your face and then your cock. You have a minute or I’m gonna go home and fuck myself with my new toy, I really have no patience for your little games tonight.”

Maybe it’s the sound of your vice or your intoxicating scent, but regardless of the reasoning, Sunghoon needs a whole minute to actually process your words.

In the month the two of you have been fucking each other, you’ve always remained very stubborn about your decision when it comes to any type of riding and since he wasn’t going to push you to do something you don’t want, Sunghoon had just accepted your rules and went with it.

However, this doesn’t mean he’s ever stopped fantasizing about you on top of him, riding his cock, his thigh, his face – the mental image of getting the best view of your perfect body has been engraved into his brain in a way he simply can’t explain.

“Hold the fuck up”, he says, his thick brows furrowed in confusion, the prettiest shades of pink covering his cheeks all the way down to his throat, “you want to ride me?”

“You and your face”, you shrug and pretend like it’s the most normal thing of you to ask, when in reality you’re about to lose your mind just thinking about it.

“Stop being so fucking casual about it”, Sunghoon grunts and gently but firmly grabs your face to pull you closer against his body, “the last time you let me do something you had refused to do before you broke down.”

The second you understand the night he’s referring to, you feel shivers run down your spine and with your bottom lip firmly tugged between your teeth, you look up at him.

You expect to be met with an expression of annoyance and indifference, only to realise Sunghoon seems genuinely concerned. You’re familiar with this particular softness in his eyes since you’ve seen it whenever any of your mutual best friends are talking to him, yet he actually hasn’t looked at you like this in over a decade.

“Look, I’m not trying to throw this into your face but that shit actually scared me”, I don’t want you to know how much it worried me, “so, just speak the fuck up for once and tell me what you actually want me to do”, so I never have to see you like that again.

For a short moment, you genuinely consider telling Sunghoon the truth behind your behavior but before you can go too deep, you remember all the times you gave him the benefit of the doubt.

So, with a soft sigh you wrap your fingers around his delicate wrist and never once shift your gaze from his as you speak: “I want to ride your face and I want it now.”

The internal battle of his emotions leave him in a state of confusion because no matter how badly he wants to do exactly what you’ve just asked for, he simply can’t shake off this weird feeling in his gut.

“That night I wanted to feel used so I let you hit it from the back”, you admit quietly, not quite sure why you’ve suddenly decided to change your mind but now it’s too late anyway, so why worry too much about it, right?

“But why?”

Are you guys really having a civil conversation about your feelings right before you’re about to ride his face or is all of this just one of his very vivid dreams about you?

“Because of the whole situation with Fuma and my brother”, you reply, still not really confident about the reason behind your unexpected urge to be brutally honest with Sunghoon, of all people.

However, the following reaction is definitely not what you’ve expected; though you’re generally not really sure what exactly you had expected of him in the first place.

Sunghoon lets out a loud scoff before he guides you to the edge of his bed, the side directly across his big wall mirror, just to drop to his knees and make sure you have no time to protest.

“That was a whole fucking shitshow”, he grunts and hooks his thumb underneath the band of your panties, quickly pulling them down your legs and spreading them apart to reveal your drenched cunt to his hungry eyes, “and you shouldn’t waste another minute thinking about it.”

You’re…confused.

What the fuck is he trying to do?

“Desperate virgins like that little fucker love to shoot against women who are confident in their sexuality because they know they could never, ever handle it”, Sunghoon says against the warm skin of your inner thighs, the feeling of his hot breath fanning against your sensitive cunt sending shivers down body and before you can actually understand what’s going on, you find yourself entering the familiar comfort of pleasure only he’s been able to provide you with.

“The only reason why I – or anybody gets to touch you is because you want it. Don’t let nobodies like that bitch take this away from you”, Hoon is confident as he flattens his tongue and licks a stripe over the length of your soaking wet cunt, humming softly when your sweet juices finally coat his taste buds again, “grow a fucking spine and stand behind the things you want for once in your life, Snowflake.”

This time you can actually hear the slight anger in his deep voice but of course Sunghoon isn’t going to give you the opportunity to respond and just as expected your words die in your throat as he wraps those pretty lips around your sensitive clit and starts sucking the nub into his mouth.

Every single time you let him go down on you, Hoon makes it seem like he’s basically on the verge of starvation. Loud slurping, obnoxious sucking and a row of deep grunts and moans the only noises to fill your ears as you tone out your own whimpers.

It doesn’t take much for your brain to fog up, the skillful flicks of his tongue casually push you deeper and deeper into the sensual haze of your pleasure.

“Don’t fuck with me”, Hoon suddenly grunts and pulls away but makes sure to rub gentle circles into your needy clit to keep you on the edge, “keep your eyes on your reflection. I want you to see what you’re letting me do to you.”

It’s then that you realized he’s probably been talking to you for who knows how long, yet you were way too busy losing yourself in the sweetness of your upcoming relief.

Hoon doesn’t wait for your answer because he knows you’re going to obey to his demand; too fucked out and close to protest.

Every now and then he manages to shift his focus away from the sweetest cunt he’s ever tasted to make sure your eyes remain on your reflection and when you struggled to keep it up at first, Sunghoon is quick to notice the shift in your expression when you seem to understand his intention.

And as he continues to thrust his tongue inside of your tightening hole, you can’t get yourself to look away, the image of your legs firmly dangling over his shoulders, face buried in your pussy and nothing but lust and arousal lingering in your body’s reactions, you actually feel all of those doubts and concerns about your own sexuality vanishing.

This isn’t about him using you. No matter how much Sunghoon eats pussy for his own pleasure, at the end of the night you’re the one who receives the satisfaction because you want it.

This particular epiphany in combination with Sunghoon’s tongue greedily lapping up every single drop of your juices has your head spinning. For the first time in your life you’re actually and genuinely aware who you’re doing this for and you feel a wave of anger wash over you when you remember who, of all people, happens to be the one to push you into this whole thought process.

“There we go”, Sunghoon suddenly chuckles when he pulls away just enough to breathe but still close enough to inhale the intoxicating scent of your ruined pussy, “was that so difficult, Snowflake? Now come on, show me what only I can do to you and cum for me. I wanna see how much you hate me, don’t disappoint me now.”

“No”, you suddenly whimper, your hand finally finding home in his thick hair as you pull on the strands to make him look at you and yet again the sight of Sunghoon with his flushed cheeks, hooded eyes and swollen lips overwhelms you all over again no matter how many times you’ve seen him like this already. The way not only the soft flesh of his lips but als the tip of his nose and the entirety of his chin are coated in your juices remind you of how he’s never, ever exaggerated about his love for oral sex.

“I wanna cum on your cock”, you whisper and brush his bottom lip with your thumb, mesmerized by just how pretty he looks when he’s quiet and ready to do whatever it takes to pleasure you, “and I want you to watch me ride you.”

“Oh? Think you’re smart when you use my own tricks on me?”, he chuckles lazily, his tongue darts out one last time to clean up the mess he’s made before he comes to stand right in between your legs, his own arousal evident in the form of a wet patch on the light fabric of his sweats.

You don’t hesitate to reach for his bulge, loving the way he gently thrusts himself into your fist and as soon as you look up at him with those glossy, needy eyes, Sunghoon knows what you’re thinking.

“Not now, little one”, he grunts and grazes your bottom lip with his thumb before he pushes the digit into your mouth, a soft hiss escaping his throat in response to the wet heat, “let me fuck this one out of my system and then I’m gonna let you choke on my cock for as long as my needy little whore wants, yeah?”

You don't even realize the agreeing movement of your head, too lost in the anticipation of being filled to the brim again but as soon as your ears recognize the gentle mockery in his voice, you bite down on his thumb with furrowed brows.

“Fuck you, Sunghoon”, you hiss and gasp when the only thing he does in response to your little brattiness is to firmly wrap his hand around your throat and pull you closer to his body.

“Oh, you’re about to, Snowflake”, he hisses and you can tell how tense he is just from the way his eyes are burning into yours, “now open that big mouth and stick your tongue out. I want you to cum with my taste on your tongue just how I’m gonna do with yours.”

Without an ounce of hesitation, you follow his instruction and before your brain can actually process it, the warm feeling of Sunghoon’s spit hitting the back of your tongue is the first thing to pull you back into reality.

It’s then that his patience has finally reached its limits and with a few swift motions Sunghoon is quick to take off not only his own sweats but also the flimsy little fabric you dare to call a pajama right after he’s made you straddle his lap.

“Condom”, you whisper against the warm skin of his neck when you desperately start humping his bare cock, your pussy basically accustomed to it after all the nights and even days, mornings you had spent with each other.

“Fuck, you’re right”, Sunghoon hisses annoyed and reaches for the drawer of his nightstand, when all of a sudden you reach for his arm and look up at him.

Now, you’ve definitely done questionable things these past few weeks, fucking your archenemy on a regular basis being one of the weirdest of them, yet for some reason you can’t seem to be having enough of testing your own limits.

You know nothing has changed between the two of you. At the end of the day you still hate him with the darkest and coldest parts of your heart and soul, confident it’s based on a mutual feeling of loathing and anger.

But at this point, after the things he’s just said and the things he’s made you do in the past few minutes, you can’t deny the slight shift in energy between the two of you.

But you’re rather doubtful that just that tiny shift is enough of a reason for you to actually make your next suggestion.

“I want you to raw me”, you breathe and never once shift your gaze away from his, “I’m on the pill and I haven’t fucked anyone besides you, I swear.”

Why would he ever trust you, though? Park Sunghoon has shown you countless times that he doesn't care about you or whatever you have to say, so why should that be different now?

“F-Fuck”, Sunghoon suddenly grunts and is now the one to bury his face in your tits, a nervous habit you’ve taken notice of throughout the past few times you two were intimate.

“Don’t fuck with me, you grumpy loser”, his voice is strained and filled with hesitation but he doesn’t even try to stop you from reaching between your bodies to grab ahold of his thick, throbbing cock, “I’m gonna ruin your life if you give me an STD.”

A soft but genuine chuckle escapes your lips as you shake your head and line the tip of his cock up with your soaking entrance, desperate to finally feel him inside of you.

“Wait, oh – my fucking God”, Sunghoon’s protest surprises you and with your head slightly tilted to the side you wait for him to look at you.

“Hm? What happened, ice prince? Cat got that little tongue of yours?”

“Shut the fuck up”, he bites back and digs his fingers further into the soft flesh of your waist, “I might not last as long because I – never actually fucked anyone without a condom before.”

His confession makes your cunt clench around the tip of his cock and before you can even think about suppressing it, a soft moan rolls off of your tongue, easing some of the heaviness on his chest he wasn’t quite aware of.

Sunghoon hates being vulnerable in general but with you, of all people, it feels like an actual punishment for all the morally gray things he’s done in his life.

“Let’s see just how fast I can make you cum then, hm? I need something to rub into your face after all, don’t I?”

Sunghoon’s brows furrow in response to your mocking comment, a wave of resentment overwhelming his senses but you don’t give him the chance to verbally respond as you slowly lower yourself onto his bare cock.

You attentively watch the way his usually so stoic and sharp features soften, his annoyingly perfect features contorting in pleasure as his eyes roll into the back of his head and his chin slowly falls just enough to leave his lips in the perfect ‘O’ shape.

To keep it short and simple, you’re mesmerized by this new visual and actually regret not opting for this position earlier.

Not only are you in full control but it also gives you the perfect view on him and watching Park Sunghoon, of all people, fall apart underneath you is something you never knew you needed as badly as you did until now.

“E-Easy”, he gasps and throws his head back, every single fiber in his body overwhelmed by the sensation of your hot walls embracing his sensitive cock like they were made for him and him only.

With every single inch, Sunghoon feels his head spinning a little faster, the blood busy rushing in his ears as he loses himself in a feeling so sweet, so good, so relieving, he’s determined to make this moment last forever.

However, you have other plans.

“So big”, you whisper and subconsciously nudge your nose against his, rolling your hips once you’ve finally taken the entirety of his length and feel the last few breaths getting stuck in your dry throat, “I think I’m gonna c-cum.”

“Don’t you fucking dare”, Sunghoon responds quickly because he knows he’s going to lose the last of his dignity if you tighten around him just a little more; he simply won’t last.

“Fuck off”, you shoot back and ignore his pathetic attempts of keeping your hips in place, only for you to move faster and harder on his cock, too needy and desperate to actually care about what he wants.

“N-No, please”, this time Hoon’s voice is laced in desperation, high pitched and breathy, “I don’t want this to end yet.”

What the actual fuck did he just say?

“It won’t”, you whisper against his lips and push your hand away from your hip to finally move the way you need to, skillfully riding him in a proper and steady rhythm, making sure the tip of his sensitive cock hits your sweetest spots with every single one of your movements, “if you beg how i like it I’ll let you fuck and fill me up all night, how does that sound, pretty face?”

Sunghoon knows you’re teasing him. he’s very well aware of the shit eating grin on your lips but he physically and mentally can’t get himself to give a fuck.

The only thing on his mind is how good your hot pussy feels and and badly he wants to stuff you to the brim with his cum. If getting what he wants means to endure some of your stupid comments, he’s more than just willing to take it.

“Fine, fuck”, he grunts and against your lips, “just shut the fuck up and cum with me.”

It’s then that Sunghoon has had enough of your little game as he starts thrusting into your form underneath and without getting the chance to somehow prepare yourself for it, you feel the coil in your lower stomach snap and the first waves of your orgasm drown you in the sweet feeling of relief and pleasure.

Your brain has finally called it quits, hence your body being the one to make the decisions and just when Sunghoon’s thrusts slowly become sloppier, less coordinated and steady, you take his pretty face into your hands and pull him into a needy kiss.

The second your lips meet his, he’s a goner. The taste of your saliva coats the muscle of his tongue at the same moment the constant clenching of your cunt becomes too much, pushing him over the edge.

You don’t even hesitate to swallow every single one of hsi deep grunts and soft whimpers, enjoying the feeling of his mouth sloppily exploring yours a little too much as Sunghoon cums inside of you with three thick spurts of cum, coating the walls of your sensitive cunt in several shades of white.

But he doesn’t stop kissing you. In fact, Sunghoon pulls your face even closer and chases your lips like a man gone mad, desperate and fucked out in a way he’s never, ever felt before.

The sound of your heavy breathing, sloppy kisses and gentle whimpers the only thing to fill Hoon’s room for the next few minutes, but neither one of you actually minds.

“What the fuck”, he breathes and throws himself back onto the bed, his hands caressing your bare thighs as he looks up to you.

“Give me a few minutes and then I’ll get you a towel and something proper to wear”, Sunghoon’s words surprise yet comfort you, the fear of him abandoning you without another word yet again lingering in the back of your mind.

“Or do you wanna take a shower with me? I would love to take you up on that blowjob offer from earlier.”

After almost three hours filled with orgasm after orgasm, moans and high pitched whimpers, way too many profanities and actual decent conversation, Sunghoon watches you leave his apartment with your camisole in your hand, his hoodie covering most of your body and your messy hair falling into your sleepy face.

And in that moment he can’t help but question his feelings for you because there’s no way the person he claims to hate so much is supposed to make him feel as good as you do.

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

(A/N: and here she is! the longest ive ever written for CH and ngl i’m actually a little proud. it’s deffo a little different to the previous smut chaps BUT i think still quite CH!hooyn! thank you guys so, so much for your patience and support, love and appreciation. i can’t even put into words how grateful i am. i love and appreciate you all so, so much. 🥺)

TAGLIST: @soonigiri @en-happiness @lhsvibez @dammit-jjk @heerinnie @primroselover @jungwon-xo @szkstay @lostwonderwall @hoonieluv @certifiedmoa @doodlelibrary @ikeuizm @kpoprhia @sleeping-demons @jongszn @imtoanonymousforyou @lalalovejay @ineedsomezzz @xrr-s4sha @ariadores @viagumi @electrobutterfly @mimikittysblog @blurryriki @heelcvr @wonkifangirl @joonzseoulmate @kwiwin @hoondiors @seuomo @zerasari @love-you-twice @aloverga @marz-mars @velvtcherie @niniissus @abrazosolorcereza @ddazed-lhs @acphengene @skz-streamer @kshoshi @tya0 @yizhoutv @jebetwo @myheelody @seokgyuu @blockbusterhee @luvkpopp @heeslut4life

#enhypen smut #enhypen social media au #enhypen smau #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen sm au #enhypen x female reader #enhypen x reader #enhypen writers #enhypen angst #park sunghoon angst #park sunghoon fluff #park sunghoon x reader #park sunghoon smut #park sunghoon x female reader #park sunghoon social media au #park sunghoon smau

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kingconia · 8 months

Text

VICE HOUSEWARDENS WITH MC, WHO IS BLIND, BUT, SOMEHOW, FEELS AND KNOWS EVERYTHING

warning: Ortho is excluded for an obvious reason, and I consider Ruggie to be a vice.

Trey Clover. ❤️

— Trey is absolutely surprised, when he sees you for the first time. It is not like he had never seen a blind person before, but there is something alarming in a fact, that a student without magic and sight, is left all alone in the NRC;

— He might be a little awkward around you, but he is still respects you, and will never points out at your possible insecurity. Hits Ace a few times, when he openly reminds you about being blind;

— ...When he finds out that you are not helpless, and in fact might be more attentive than all of them, he is speechless.

•

Trey glances over his shoulder, instantly finding you in the havoc that first-years had made in his kitchen. He has no trust in this kids, and it is quite dangerous place for you. So, he tries to look up for you wordlessly.

”Ace,” he calls for a redhead boy, sighing, when he almost drops a bowl with flour on the ground, ”pass me a few apples, would you? They should be somewhere here.”

Ace smiles at him crookedly as he starts walk around, squinting, while trying to find mentioned apples.

”Eh... Where are they?”

Trey turns, planning to guide him himself, when you are suddenly raising your cane, the tip of it moving in the direction of a basket with red apples.

”Ace, I think, they should be here,” you remark softly.

Neither Ace nor Deuce find anything extraordinary in your act, which makes Trey realise that it must be not the first time you do so. But he is astonished!

He examines you once again, and as he stares right in your colourless eyes that almost never blink, Trey is sure: you don't see anything. That it is not a lie.

...Perhaps, you are not without a magic as others think you are?

Ruggie Bucchi. 💛

— Alright, I am sorry, but Ruggie doesn't give a fuck if you are blind. It is not about bullying—he wouldn't do that—but he will not try to pamper with you either;

— And as soon as he realises that you, in fact, are highly aware of everything around you, Ruggie is even more comfortable around you;

— But! Your instincts are reminding him of beastmen—he had seen a few of them, who were just as blind as you, and you act suspiciously a lot like them—and so, he starts having a very strange theories about you.

•

Ruggie holds his breath, and as his back straightens, he is ready for attack.

In his homeland, he is considered to be one of the most dangerous beasts, a natural predator. He knows how to stalk his prey, how to stay out of its sight, and how to bring food back home. So, of course, watching after you, shouldn't be a—

”I know you are hiding on the tree, Ruggie.”

Urgh. Just how you always know where he is?

Here you are, sitting on the bench under this tree. And Ruggie, who stands atop of it, too high to be heard, shouldn't be noticeable even for a usual humans. Even he made a sound—but he didn't!—how could you say that it is him? Unless, you are feeling his scent, just like a beastman would...

Ruggie keeps his silent. Maybe, it would be easier to trick you this way, and then...

”Ouch!”

Almost when he touched your shoulder, you easily hit him with your cane.

”Ruggie,” you sigh. ”I thought, you are better than his.”

Rubbing his hand, he can only murmur a quiet:

”Sorry.”

...His belief that you might be half-beastman are getting more and more rational with each passing day.

Jade Leech. 🩵

— Jade is somewhere between acting all gentlemen around you, and searching for a way to use your disability in his advantage. Nothing personal, though;

— When he realises that his calculations are completely wrong, and you are not so easy to crack, Jade is impressed. What a good challenge you are;

— Jade might get an idea that, perhaps, you are lying to everyone... And if so, he is about to catch you on this lie.

•

”Remind me, please... Had you been sightless from the very young age?” Jade asks casually, pouring tea in your cap; for a third time in this morning.

You nod with a gratitude, and your hand easily moves to your right, where the pot with sugar is located. Jade told you where it is, when you first started having a breakfast together.

”I had been born this way, yes.”

As you put one cube in your tea, Jade hastily moves the pot to an opposite side of the table. Waiting. His eyes pierces in yours, trying to notice some strange signs. Anything.

”How complicated it must be.”

There is always a possibility that you just have those colourless eyes, which helps you to lie to other. Perhaps, you are as mischievous as he is, after all.

”Well. I think, it would be harder if I lost my sight earlier in life,” you smile.

Your hand flawlessly moves to the new location of the sugar. Jade hums in the disappointment.

...Once you will crack.

Jamil Viper. 🧡

— When he hears about you for the first time, he can't help but huff about how irresponsible headmaster is, if he allows you to walk around these dangers so easily;

— Much later, he becomes your close friend, and with that, he finds out about your talent. Jamil had never seen such things before, he thinks you are a miracle;

— But he will accept it without any side thoughts. He trusts you, and overall, Jamil is simply glad that you are not as enamoured in this world as he first thought you are.

•

Jamil knows you are coming from a ringing knock of your cane in the corridor. And, so, he rushes to the doors, opening it widely, still with apron around his waist.

”Good afternoon, Y/n.”

”Hello, Jamil,” you hum, slowly stepping in.

It is a secret for Jamil why some of his classmates are thinking that you are lying about your blindness—or use a secret magic for moving around—when a little evidences of it are always here.

He can say it from the way you never make sharp on inaccurate movements—he had only seen you running with Grim on your hands—and move slowly, though, gracefully. Or how you relay a lot on you cane.

”I had prepared a few pastries for you,” he exclaims quietly. ”From the Scalding Sands.”

You might be independent, but Jamil still thinks you struggling sometimes.

”I can smell that,” you smile. ”Thank you.”

But it is not a problem. He will make sure to help you from time to time.

Rook Hunt. 💜

— Oh! Oh! Rook can't hide his curiousity when he hears stories about you;

— As someone, who relays a lot on his senses and instincts, Rook fully understands what helps you through your blindness;

— So, if anything, he thinks you are a lot alike! Rook constantly helps you to develop and sharpen your senses by taking you on walks around the forest, or asking about what you feel in certain rooms.

•

”Incroyable!” Rook sighs out delightfully, eyes sparkling as he stares at you. ”You are such a talented person, ma flèche!”

Another little laugh escapes your lips, and Rook can't help but feel proud of how happy you are about these dates of yours.

He wants you to feel equal with others, but even more, he desires for you to know how much better you are, than the most.

”Ah, you are flattering me, Rook,” with a free from a cane hand, you rush to wave him off. Then, you frown suddenly, tilting your head on the right. ”Ah... I think there is another bird, Rook. Behind you, on the left.”

As soon as you warn him about it, Rook swiftly turns on the told direction. A mere second and arrow flies past you, hitting a target easily.

”Parfait!” He praises you again. ”You notice things even quicker than I do!”

As your cheeks blush furiously, Rook only smirks.

If you only know how special you are!

Lilia Vanrouge. 💚

— Lilia is a war veteran, so, he is not surprised by your abilities. He had seen a lot of his old comrades losing their sight in the battle, and slowly learning to live with consequences of that;

— But, he finds it impressing either way. Especially, considering that you are just a mortal. It is fascinating how strong and brave your kind can be;

— And, Lilia loves how you are always aware of his presence, never being scared of his sudden appearances, like others usually do. It is rewarding!

•

”Ah, aren't we going to be late?” Cater sighs, shifting from one leg to another, while scrolling through the Magicam. ”That's ridiculous.”

You hum, pressing your shoulder to the wall, yawning.

”Why are we even waiting?”

”What do you mean why?” Cater frowns. ”We can't go without Lilia... And I don't know where he is, but dude is really late.”

It is your turn to frown now.

”Cater, Lilia had been here for another five minutes,” you say. ”Just look up.”

Cater is suspicious at first, but then, as he does what you told him to do, a terrified help escapes his chest. Lilia is, indeed, here. Hanging from the ceiling, smiling cryptidly.

”Hello, love,” he flashes a smile at you. ”And hello there, Cater.”

”Hi, dear,” you wave at him. ”Well... Can we, please, go now?”

Cater sighs. His face is still pale, when he hisses out:

”You both of you are awful. Period.”

Lilia only chuckles at that. Well, aren't you just a perfect match?

#twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #trey clover x reader #trey clover #ruggie bucci x reader #ruggie bucchi #jade leech x reader #jade leech #jamil viper x reader #jamil viper #rook hunt x reader #rook hunt #lilia vanrouge x reader #lilia vanrouge

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veryberryjelly · 3 months

Text

coping mechanisms

spencer reid x fem!reader ( platonic or romantic x )

prompt : one leaning their head onto the other's shoulder suddenly and they just freeze

𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

i made a playlist specifically for this concept which you should definitely check out -> here <-

the jet was quiet aside from the peaceful rumbling of the plane's engine lulling everyone to sleep.

emily and derek were both fast asleep propped up in the chairs in the centre of the plane.

jj was sat next to the brunette skimming over case files while hotch and rossi were having a quiet discussion at the other end of the plane.

which left you and spencer sat next to eachother, with an earphone in each of your ears while some music played through them.

after cases the plane tended to get quiet and you could never stand it, so very early on in your bau career, you had made a playlist specifically for the plane ride back to virginia.

nothing too loud or happy as you weren't always in the best mood, everything soft and calming and just comforting.

after a particularly rough case a few years ago, everyone on the jet had been on edge and just quite melancholy since you left the police station.

and sat across from you, spencer looked the most out of it.

he's features looked sunken from the days without sleep poured over this case, yet his eyes were wide open. unable to fall asleep.

while he usually read on the plane, his book was discarded next to him on the couch.

you couldnt look at it anymore.

so you pushed yourself up from your place on the opposite couch and sat yourself next to him.

you offered him an earbud silently, not wanting to disturb anyone else on the plane.

when he hesitated, you explained.

" sitting here reliving it isn't going to help anything. it helps stop my mind wandering if i'm listening to something. " you said quietly, your other earbud still in your hand for him to take.

" thanks " was the soft response from him as he took it and settled it in his ear.

I can't forget that night, You said I looked like Suzi Quatro

In the morning light, faded to oblivion.

And I said, "That's alright, at least we feel alive"

At least we feel alive

There's nothing you can do

I know that I want this

No one likes to lose

Know that I got this.

the sultry tones of suki waterhouse banished almost all the thoughts of the last few days from his mind and instead he was focused on the sounds flowing through your earbud.

since then, it had become almost a tradition on the jet home.

one earbud each and a couch shared between you.

sometimes the two of you would talk while it played, other times you'd both be reading or even filling out paperwork.

but always on the plane home, you would listen to music together.

to the point where you would always just gravitate towards eachother on the jet as everyone made their way in. and everyone knew, not to block any way for the two of you to sit together.

everyone had their coping mechanisms for after cases, and they couldnt deny either of you yours.

especially considering it was such a healthy one.

this case had been a rough one though. you hadn't been able to save the unsub or his last victim and being right infront of him when he died just made it a lot more real.

his blood stained your shirt, and your skin.

it was spencer who helped you wash it off when you were a bit too dazed to move.

you sat closer than usual on the jet, the outside of your legs pressed against each others as the jet flew over a state you couldn't pinpoint.

after not sleeping for three days, you couldn't physically keep your eyes open. your eyes fell shut as the sound of the cranberries flooded your ear.

your head dropped onto the nearest surface, which happened to be spencer's shoulder to your left.

while you could feel your mind slipping off into unconsciousness, you felt the surface you had rested your head on almost flinch.

you lifted your head up, prying your eyes open as you realised what you had done.

" sorry, i haven't slept the last couple days. didn't mean to use you as a pillow " you apologised, lifting your hand to wipe under your eyes, attempting to wake yourself up a bit so it didn't happen again.

" no no, it's okay. just startled me " he replied. while his tone was still quiet, his voice was quiet.

" you're not usually so jumpy " you observed.

" didnt sleep too well either. " he admitted

" why don't you get some sleep ? it's gonna be a while until we get back to quantico "

he pondered it for a few minutes before ultimately shaking his head and muttering a quiet ' i'm good '

you knew why he didnt want to sleep. it was the same reason you didnt sleep after a particularly tough case for spencer.

to make sure he was okay. protect him.

" you can sleep, spence. i'm fine " you punctuated your point by dropping your hand down onto his thigh in a light pat.

" i will if you will "

with that promise, you settled your head down against his shoulder again, his head taking moments to rest ontop of yours.

the comforting words of delores o'riordan comforting the two of you as you drifted off into a comfortable and safe slumber.

You know I'm such a fool for you

You got me wrapped around your finger

Do you have to let it linger?

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lululandd · 11 months

Text

part-time psycho;

pairing: yandere!ghost x f!reader

wordcount: 1,921

warning: mentions of murder, implied cheating, jealousy, possessive behaviour

note: please understand this is fiction, i do not condone any of these behaviours irl (also on ao3)

summary:

He’d be out drinking with his work friends, he said. Won’t drink too much because he had to drive home after, he said. You don’t have to pick him up because he doesn’t know what time he’ll be back, he said. Some of his friends might get super drunk and he might have to drive them home, he said.

Those were the things you remember him saying before he kissed you goodbye.

You were roused from sleep by the sound of the front door slamming, and then people talking. There was an unfamiliar voice besides Simon’s, but you try not to listen too hard. But even your sleep-addled brain noted how odd that there were giggles and chuckles one moment and then… dead silence. Something felt wrong, the little voice in your head—the voice that kills people in horror movies, Simon would say—tells you to go check to see what it is. Groaning a little to shake the lethargy from your bones, you get out of bed and walk towards the stairs, but you only made it halfway down.

A woman was sitting on top of him, on the sofa. The woman Simon introduced you to months ago. His co-worker, his teammate, the person that has taken a bullet or two for him and vice versa. You can’t lie, she intimidated you from the very beginning. Their apparent closeness, their easy banter that you can never follow, the countless inside jokes, the way her hand always landed on him when she thought you weren’t looking, and her features. They were so similar to yours, and you don’t know which is worse, whether you came into his life first, or her.

Drowsiness left you as anxious dread seeps in. They spoke too quietly for you to hear, but you don’t care. Friends don’t sit on each other's laps like that, and certainly not facing one another. Feelings of inadequacy filled your mind as you walked briskly towards the front door and took off, grabbing whatever coat was on the hook. You just had to get out of there, far away from what you had just witnessed. Wiping the tears that blurred your vision, you notice your feet take you to the nearest pub, and you stand outside dumbly for a couple of seconds.

That night was bitterly cold, and you wished you had taken a thicker coat. Putting your hands in your pocket, you realise you have no money. You didn’t take anything but the spare house keys, your phone, and the coat on your way out. The slippers you're wearing are the fuzzy kind meant for indoors. Digging in your pockets, you hoped past you left a couple of quid in there. You found two tenners in the inner pocket, and you shuffled inside to get a drink or two.

The pretty bartender with the large earrings noticed you immediately and asked whether you need help and if she should call the police. Glancing at the mirror behind the bar, you saw you were a complete and utter wreck and she was right to be worried. You made sure to convince her that you were just sad and not some victim of domestic abuse before ordering some shots. She gave you a worried look before grabbing the drinks.

You downed both drinks in quick succession as soon as they arrived. The first burn hadn’t even registered fully before you chased it with another one. Today’s not the day for sane choices and comfort, you need to dull the pain as quickly as you can.

It’s funny, being tipsy. Your brain doesn’t even know when it started, you suddenly are. It doesn’t matter much anymore that Simon had brought a woman that looks much like you home, you can live just fine without him. It’s not like he’s the best boyfriend anyway, he left so often and so long sometimes you don’t feel like lovers. Maybe he had already demoted you from that position long ago and you were too stupid and blind to notice.

It took you a while to realise someone was sitting next to you. Letting out a deep sigh that definitely lasted longer than you thought you could, you didn’t even have to look to know it was him.

“Will you be coming home tonight?”

You’ve heard this tone before. It’s the careful one he uses when he knows you’re upset. The voice that is laced with sympathy and understanding. But this time you don’t know if that question was borne out of malice or legitimate concern, so you ignored him. The glass of water that the pretty barkeep gave to you looks very interesting right now.

The silence stretched for a painful amount of time before it was Simon’s turn to sigh. “Would you believe me if I told you I was drunk and rejected her advances?”

You were bitterly reminded of how she was sitting on his lap earlier. How close her face had been to his. How her hands had been curling on his neck, and his hands probably sitting on her waist. You didn’t see or didn’t remember, but that’s where your mind placed it, the only logical place it could be.

He slid his car keys your way. “Wherever you’re going, at least take the car. Don’t take cabs this late at night.” And when you didn’t react, he left.

You left the pub after your fifth glass of water and a repeated play of Justin Bieber’s ‘Baby’—the staff were laughing while you heard one yell out profanities from the backroom—to check on the car. It suspiciously had your wallet, his hoodie, some cash haphazardly thrown on the front seat, and a large knife when you checked the glove box. You looked at your phone and mass texted your friends to see which one of them was awake and kind enough to let you crash at their place for the night.

One of your best friends replied, and you decided to go there immediately. They kindly offered their place for a week or two, but you ended up leaving on the second day. You had calmed down a little, and your friend suggested you talked this out instead of just making more and more assumptions in your head.

“The longer you’re not talking, the more your brain makes shit up.”

You joked that they just wanted you out asap and it ended up in a pillow fight that made you forget about your problems for a little while.

Driving home was the hardest. The scene keeps replaying in your head and your brain racks up the jealousy. How long have they been going behind your back? Is he just dating you because he can’t have her for some reason? Was whatever he was saying true, that he rejected her advances?

You found a parking spot not far from the house because for some reason you didn’t want him to see you coming.

As you opened the front door, you were met by two set of eyes looking bewildered at your direction. Simon’s arms were still on her waist while hers were draped over his shoulders.

Fuck these people.

Fuck him.

You threw Simon’s car keys on the floor and walked out, ignoring his pleas for you to wait and listen.

There was only one place to go now. Your parents. They welcomed you graciously, knowing you had a fight and wanting some space from your boyfriend even when you didn’t tell them at all about what happened. A week went by without any calls or texts from Simon, you decided it was time to go back and pack the fuck out of your stuff to live with your parents for a while. Why should you even think about being with him when he doesn’t even try to apologise. Living with your parents has reminded you what love could–should–be. Waking up next to each other every day, knowing they’re safe and within reach and not whatever it is you have with Simon where he goes missing for months at a time without contact. It was nice waking up to the sight of your parents chattering about, jokingly telling you to not burn the house down as they go to work, reminding you of your teenage years.

Thankfully Simon wasn’t home when you went to pack. It’s decided that you’ll only take your clothes for now and leave the paraphernalia for later. If you’re lucky, his job called while you were away and you can pack in peace.

But you weren’t so lucky.

“You’ve lost weight.” You jumped at the sound of his voice. Simon was a deathly quiet man when he needed to be. You didn’t hear the front door being open and shut or even his footsteps. He looked awful, his face unkempt with bloodshot eyes, his hair mussed, and his clothes dishevelled.

“I’m not wearing makeup so I look shit.” You retorted.

You had to look away as soon as you saw him bristle. He stayed silent for a while, his gaze focused on every facet of your face before going back to staring you down.

“Why are you lying?” His voice came as a quiet snarl, a low gruff that sounded like it hasn’t been used in days.

“Because that’s also what you’re doing.” You threw the meanest look you could towards him, and you’d like to think that’s why he broke eye contact with you. Unable to help yourself, you continued, “Rejecting her advances my ass, Riley.”

Hearing his last name, he proceeded to cut across the room and reached for you, strong arms instantly curling around your waist as he turned you around to face the open armoire. You felt the need to run, to fight back, but what else could you do but submit? The man is 193 centimetres of pure trained muscles that can hold you full nelson for however long it takes him to fuck you in front of the mirror until he feels satisfied, while you run out of breath carrying the neighbour’s fat tabby for two minutes. You are a little rabbit at the mercy of a wolf.

Weak.

Pathetic.

“I'm truly sorry you had to see me when I tried to lure her into a false sense of security.” He pulled you even closer, your back gently bumping against his chest. “If I drove you to where her head is buried will you finally believe me?”

Only half the words registered in your mind, “Simon this isn’t funny.”

Trying to wriggle away awarded you with a hiss and him nuzzling on the crook of your neck.

“Wasn’t joking, love.”

“Simon.” You pleaded desperately. You felt sick. You knew he was a dangerous man, but he had told you, convinced you, that he would never hurt y–

Realisation hits in a revolting wave of nausea. He had never said he wouldn’t hurt others. “Simon?”

“Yes, dear?” He muttered, lips pressing intently against the sensitive parts of your ears.

His hold no longer felt safe, there’s desperation and a dangerous kind of hunger lingering underneath his touch. “D-did you keep a trophy? Of her, I mean.”

You think if he could just show you some sort of proof, you could somehow take it and just start running.

“Why the fuck,” Simon’s voice was suddenly laced with seething fury that you flinched in his arms. “Would I keep trophies of people that caused you pain?” His statement chilled you to your core and you stopped trembling for a moment.

A choked, terrified whisper escaped you. “S-Simon?” Sickness curled your stomach, your knees buckled as you swayed. You don’t know when your Simon had left and replaced with this monster, or whether there was a Simon at all in the first place.

You felt his lips twitch and curl into a smile on the junction of your neck. "Yes, love?"

“Why was that plural?”

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #yandere simon ghost riley #yandere!ghost #yandere simon riley #yandere mw2 #scuffed writing #scuffed yandere #call of duty #yandere call of duty

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koenigami · 4 months

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you're so used to his presence that his absence scared you

It’s one of those nights in which the lands of dreams seem so far away. Your eyelids feel heavy, your eyes burn, and you would think sleep will soon, in the next few minutes or even seconds wash over you. But it never comes.

It’s funny, you think. One night. Just one night that he isn’t lying there beside you, and all of a sudden the thoughts and fears in your mind are too loud. The tumult in your head makes your limbs fidget as you keep tossing and turning, sighing and groaning while you wonder if you’ll even be able to fall asleep tonight. The silly thought of if you’ll actually ever be able to fall asleep again passes your mind, and as ridiculous as it sounds, in your tired and miserable state it is a concern that makes you tear up a little.

You try to imagine his arm thrown around you, the heaviness of it pressing into your side, the warmth of his hand as it settles beneath your chest so that you can hold onto his forearm.

But it’s not there. Your bedroom feels cold and dark without him. An ever consuming darkness that plays tricks on you and turns every shadow into a menacing figure. Every creak and groan of your old floorboards and furniture makes you flinch, wrapping your blanket tighter around you and higher up to your chin as if it could shield you from the inexistent danger that your brain has come up with.

You realise that sleeping without him feels like living without oxygen. It’s not possible.

A new case. A new detainee. Too much paperwork. You wonder if he’ll even come home tonight. What if he just crashes on the couch in his office? He will surely-

And then there’s another creak outside your bedroom, somewhere in the hallway. You tense, hold your breath and don’t dare to inhale or exhale, all while keeping your eyes fixated on the door. Steps. They’re slow and calculated, and you surely would not be aware of them if you were asleep. But you’re not. And your brain isn’t either because it tells you to run, hide, fight, and you’re not sure in which order.

With wide eyes and the blanket up to your nose, you watch the knob turn and the door opens slowly. More darkness flows into the room followed by another large, imposing shadow. All you hear is your deafening heartbeat until there’s a familiar clinking of metall. His handcuffs.

You follow Wriothesley’s figure as he navigates through the bedroom. Like every other night, he puts his keys and handcuffs on the nightstand, he changes into comfortable pyjama pants, he shortly leaves the room to wash his teeth, and eventually the mattress dips and you swear you can feel the warmth radiating off him.

“Y/n?” you hear him whisper in surprise. “Sweetheart, why are you awake?”

He lies down and you instinctively snuggle against him, like a moth being attracted by the light, your body gravitates towards his and his to yours. Your eyes close briefly when he cups the side of your face, his thumb gliding back and forth over your skin.

You shrug sheepishly. A moment of silence passes while you think about whether you should say it or not, but you do.

“Can’t sleep without you.” As if two little children sharing a secret between each other during their first sleepover, Wriothesley and you look at each other. The streetlights from outside shine on his eyes as he moves his head, allowing you to catch a glimpse of the fondness with which he’s looking at you.

And as if not sure how to answer, the chuckle vibrating through his chest echoes in the room. “Missed me that much?”

He nudges your forehead with his, and you can’t control your hands when each of them settles on one cheek of his as if they have a mind of their own.

He has shaved today, you note, feeling the softness of his skin beneath your palms.

“More than you know.” It’s another secret, another whisper that carries so much weight, Wriothesley feels like you might as well have just shouted it at him.

There’s a shriek followed by giggles and laughter when he turns his head to nibble on the inside of your hand before enveloping you in an almost suffocating embrace. You can’t remember the thoughts that have been keeping you awake when he holds you against his chest like that, with your ear right above his heart. You forget about the noises and fear that made you shake like a leaf before he arrived, because somehow it’s not as dark as before.

“I love you, Y/n.”

Because somehow it’s always better when he’s around.

#wrote this just now. in bed. don’t ask what this is bc idk #just some self indulgent stuff #wriothesley #wriothesley genshin #genshin wriothesley #wriothesley drabble #wriothesley fluff #wriothesley x you #wriothesley genshin impact #wriothesley x reader #wriothesley comfort #wrio x reader #wriothesley scenarios

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starrgaziinggg · 8 months

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all I need is you

Hyunjin x reader, established relationship, fluff

-> 1.4k words

You almost don't notice the space beside you being filled. It had been hours, just staring at the city below you as the wind forced goosebumps to rise on your arms. Being alone had never bothered you much until today. Watching groups of friends gossiping around campus on your first day back only fuelled your desire to have a friend group of your own.

Girls you could talk about anything with. Guys that teased you lovingly. A firm body of people around you. It wasn't as though you'd never had friends, it was more so you couldn't find the place you naturally fit in. You were never any good at long term friendships, finding the forced nature of them disconcerting.

Hyunjin drops a hoodie on your lap before nestling in beside you, the make shift outdoor sofa you'd created one bored night being the only source of comfort on your rooftop. Until Hyunjin, of course. His warm aura brings you comfort even on your darkest days.

"Figured you'd be freezing to death up here," he chuckles, grabbing both of your hands in his to warm them. His freshly dyed black hair (a shame to you, since you'd loved the red, but his boss did not) blows into his face as he turns to give you a lopsided grin.

It's almost comical how at ease you feel now he's by your side, your feelings of loneliness evaporating almost instantly. He was a stroke of luck, Hyunjin, seemingly finding you when you needed him most. An art student, working long shifts in a local cafe to get by, who'd become a recluse voluntarily.

The bookstore you'd first met in was always desolate. You'd no idea how the small gem managed to stay afloat, since you were almost always the only person that bothered to give it time. It was one of your favourite places, the sole owner knowing you by name.

Six chapters into rereading your favourite book and there he was, nudging your foot with his as he flopped onto the beanbag beside you.

"Heaven, by Mieko Kawakami," he read aloud, tilting his head at you inquisitively. "Any good?"

A couple seconds after the shock of a gorgeous man interrupting your evening routine, you nod slowly.

"It's my favourite," you had replied in a small voice, confused as to why this god crafted human being was in a run down bookshop behind your apartment block, and why he was giving you the time of day.

"Tell me about it," he's said, shrugging his shoulders and leaning back, patiently waiting.

So you delved into a ramble about the basis of the book and why it meant so much to you, the premise of morality and why people do the things they do. And the whole time Hyunjin, as you'd come to discover his name, sat listening intently, nodding along without interrupting once.

When you'd concluded, realising you had been speaking much longer than you probably should have been, he raised his eyebrows.

"You know, I was never any good at English in school. I slept through every book analysis my dull ass English teacher ever attempted. And, I actually only came in here because it's one of the only stores in the area that has this art book I need, but I could probably listen to you talk about how to tie my own shoelaces and still be entranced."

The shellshock of Hyunjin's immediate interest in you took weeks to dissipate. You'd talked until the owner of the bookstore told you (lovingly) to beat it, and then some. The next day, you'd completed your summer university coursework in the cafe he worked at until his shift finished and then walked aimlessly around the area, never running out of topics to discuss.

And that was that. Within months you knew everything about each other. He took you to his favourite museum one day, explaining the intricacies behind every painting, and all you could do was watch him in awe. He walked you home, told you you were his favourite person in the universe, and kissed you because he meant it.

You'd never thought of yourself as a lucky person, but in that moment it was as though all your good karma had willed itself into existence.

"What's going on inside that head, pretty?" He says now, tilting your head up with his finger to meet his gaze.

"Nothing majorly substantial," you reply lazily, kissing his nose lightly and making him laugh. You tug on the jumper he'd brought you, a thick hoodie he'd bought recently, as he pulls an arm around your shoulders.

"Every thought you have is substantial," he says matter-of-factly, turning back to look at the view. The city noises dulled as he spoke, car horns and music white noise in the distance. "Even the ones about cats and why they're better than dogs."

"They are," you glare at him, which he just rolls his eyes at. You sit in silence for a couple minutes, enjoying his company as he traces circles on your bare legs absentmindedly. "How was your shift today?"

"Same old," he replies, pulling a hand through his disheveled hair. "You should come in after your classes tomorrow, sit with me behind the counter."

"You're lucky your boss likes you," you chuckle, bumping his shoulder lightly with yours. "I'm there every other day."

"Chan doesn't care," Hyunjin assures with a smile. "He likes you. He actually invited you along to our work night out next weekend."

"He did?" You ask, your attention piquing.

Hyunjin hums in response. "Yeah, but it will be a whole lot of Riki terrorising everyone and risking getting himself fired," he laughs. "That kid is a menace."

"Do you want me to come?" You ask sincerely, doe eyes blinking up at the man you were wholeheartedly in love with. He looks back at you with such adoration your heart physically swells in your chest.

"Of course," he answers instantly, his brows furrowed. "Everyone I work with probably likes you more than they like me. In fact, they've stated it more than once. Plus, I'd get to show off my pretty girlfriend, and I need you for morale support against Riki."

The grin appears of your face quicker than lightening as you nestle your head into Hyunjin's shoulder.

"Sometimes I think I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have you in my life, you know," you mumble. "I don't know what I ever did to deserve you."

You feel Hyunjin shake his head above you, before reaching for your face with both hands and making you stare at him.

"You're perfect, love," he smiles, rubbing his thumb against your cold cheek. "You can be a stubborn thing, but I love you for it. If you could see yourself through my eyes you'd understand why I'm so infatuated with you."

You can't help but to roll your eyes, a natural instinct to any compliment you receive. He shakes you gently as you laugh, as if attempting to rid you of all your negative thoughts.

"Now, get your ass inside your apartment. It's fucking freezing out here, and I'm shattered," he groans, standing up and pulling you along with him.

"You're staying over?" You ask excitedly, knowing he was going to classes early in the morning.

"Duh," he says sassily, leading you through the fire escape after intertwining your hand with his own. "I missed you like crazy at work today. Chan's new no phone rule is kicking my ass and I need a cuddle."

You laugh, following him down the stairs in your apartment building like a puppy. "You're cute today."

"I'm cute everyday," he counters, turning to tilt his head at you. You stop for a second, just staring down at him.

"I love you, you know?" You say, as if he's not already aware of how deep your feelings run for him. He just grins back at you, tugging you down the stairs and into his embrace.

“I love you too, angel,” he replies whilst wrapping his arms tightly around you.

Maybe you would never have the amount of friends you’d always desired. Maybe those deep rooted feelings of loneliness would never fully dissipate. But with Hyunjin by your side, you felt as though you didn’t need anything more.

I wrote this last night and wasn’t going to post it but I think it’s cute so here you go :) sorry for the inactivity, I am swamped rn but I’m trying my best!

#hyunjin x reader #stray kids #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin imagines #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin fluff #stray kids hyunjin #hyunjin scenarios #hyunjin fluff #hwang hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin imagine #hyunjin comfort #stray kids imagines

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daydreamcloudshiding · 6 months

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#2 Astrology Observations

Juno-Chiron conjunction isn't always healing. In fact, i tend to find this in couples where they stay in the relationship for a very long time but the whole time, the relationship is very emotionally abusive

People with Pluto dominants are naturally suspicious of others, but it's not like they have bad intentions towards others. They naturally will try to find as much informations as possible about you if they really like you to determine if you're a safe person or not. Pluto, although people often will see their dark sides, is a water sign after all. They are very protective of their inner world and emotions

Another thing with Pluto dominant people is that they can feel easily insecure with themselves. They don't show it to others directly, but this is how they get that jealous streak. If they feel like someone might replace them or overpower them in anyway, they will feel like they need to defend themselves, whether in career, relationship, etc. If this is undeveloped, they can even get jealous or competitive with their own partner. This doesn't always mean a bad thing, however, the healthy Pluto dominants are actually very powerful and they are very sure of themselves, not easily swayed by anything. Pluto is fixed energy, after all. If developed, they will be so powerful and people naturally feel so inspired by them. They know not to mess with them

Cancer woman have that timeless beauty about them, they can rock any styles from any era and they will look good

I personally don't like Neptune-Sun or Neptune-Ascendant aspects in synastry because the Neptune person tend to project certain fantasy onto the Sun/Ascendant person so much and when the reality hits them, they get so disappointed that they will blame the Sun/Ascendant person for "fooling them". But really, it's an unconscious thing. The Sun/Ascendant person oftentimes don't even realise that they're being so idealised

The water signs are so sexualised

I find immature Capricorns and Taurus are the people who will stay in emotionally toxic environment as long as there's money. It could be a job, toxic household, or even relationship. Like i get it, everyone love money, but it can be so emotionally and mentally draining. When they mature, they will see money more as a tool that they get to use, instead of something that they hold on to so tightly that they are willing to sacrifice their own wellbeing for

People with North node in Libra truly need to learn to compromise because i've met a lot of them who burn a lot of bridges, only to later regret it. They are so competitive and defensive and very hard to see that others are not out to get them

Mars-North node synastry can be so healing where the Mars person will show the North node person what healthy boundaries should look like. However, there might be issue where the North node person can see how different they both are when they respond to conflict, which might make themselves feel so frustrated. Their instinct will tell them to do one thing, and the Mars person will do the exact opposite

Libra Ascendant in composite will make other people perceived them as the "It" couple. This is like "Ah, they have found their soulmate". Even if they break up, people generally will be reluctant to let go of this couple. This is like your family/friends will continue to ask you about that one ex even after you guys break up for years

Taurus/Cancer moon in composite is so cute because this is like "I'll cook for you" or "I'll wait for you at home" or "I've prepared this meal for you" or "Come here and let me comfort you" type of vibe. This feels so safe and healing, like coming home. This also make other people see them like "Person A is belong to person B no matter what, only they can truly understand each other"

Capricorn placement are the true stoics even without trying. They are so resilient

Neptune in 4th house composite is that type of couple who often imagine what their “dream home” would look like even before they get married, even if they don’t plan to take the relationship seriously in the beginning. When they’re together, both will see each other as someone that they can create their dream home with. An example for this would be that one might have express something about wanting to buy a house in X city, and the other will start to imagine what the house would look like, the neighbourhood, the room for the kids, etc. Both would love the idea of this. But that’s the thing with Neptune, it’s a mere idea. In reality, both might even struggle in making this dream home come true. It's hard to put together proper plan to achieve this "dream home". However, the couple will naturally feel at home with each other, emotionally and spiritually. That’s why it’s so easy for them to imagine creating this dream home together

I find that Virgo woman are a lot of ambitious than Virgo man. A lot more critical too. Most Virgo man that i’ve met are very chill

One of my favorite aspect in synastry and composite is Pallas-Moon. Both feel nurtured and the Moon person emotional needs is fulfilled

Vertex conjunct Chiron couple mostly are destined to meet in this lifetime to learn something really hard regarding love. If one happens to have the same sign in natal chart as in composite/synastry, this will effect this person more. For example, if you have Vertex-Chiron in Libra in composite or synastry with someone and it's just so happen that you also have Libra Chiron in your natal, it'll effect you more. I'm sorry but this is definitely not my fav aspect. The mental and emotional anguish that comes with this aspect is too much. If this also conjunct Juno, it'll be so hard to leave the other person. There'll be re-traumatization again and again. You will hate their guts so much and vice versa but refused to let go of each other.

#astrology #astro notes #astrology notes #astrology observations #astrology community #astro community

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emeritusemeritus · 8 months

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Fred Weasley headcanons

Just a few personal headcanons for our man, NSFW under the cut 🌹

SFW ✨

Still considers you his best friend even though you’re together now (you and George being tied in first place).

Calls you princess and sweetheart (both of which started as sarcastic remarks that stuck around and are now used as endearments).

Always ready to kiss you. Doesn’t care who’s around, once he can be open about your relationship he’ll kiss you anywhere, and passionately - except for in front of his mother.

Actual menace at school. You’re walking to your next class and you pass him in the halls? He lifts you up and spins you, shouts out your name across crowded, echoing corridors to embarrass you. One time he lifted you up onto the stone pillars outside charms and left you there. You had to wait to be rescued by Ron who was luckily passing by.

You tease each other constantly, bantering back and forth. He’s heard more ginger jokes from you than anyone else in his life, but he knows just how much you love him and his red hair so there is never any malice behind it, the same with his teasing of you. It all comes from a place of love and familiarity.

He’s a natural prankster and takes great pride in it but he knows your limits and would never intentionally cross them. One time he did inadvertently go too far and he’s apologised profusely and had been torn up about it, trying to win back your trust in anyway he could. George still says that it’s the only time he’d seen Fred be actually remorseful in his life.

Throws notes to you in study hall, usually by scrunching up large balls of parchment and throwing them directly at you, bonus points if he manages to bounce them off of your head. Always followed by a sickly sweet smile or a wink.

As much as he teases you, he’s the only one truly allowed to (even George is warned sometimes).

LOVES seeing you wear his clothes, specifically his jumpers or his old quidditch T-shirt’s that you sleep in. It makes his little possessive brain twitch seeing you wear his clothes so openly in front of the whole school, declaring that you’re his.

Looks for you at every one of his Quidditch games- it gives him a boost of confidence to know that you’re cheering for him. Wanting to impress you, he always plays harder and better, putting on a show.

The first time you’d attended a quidditch game as his official girlfriend, you had worn his green ‘F’ jumper and he nearly fell off his broom once he’d realised.

He’s incredibly supportive as a friend and boyfriend. Even though he knows that he is seen as the ‘meaner’ twin, he has a true sweetness to him that most people overlook but he’d do anything for you and his friends, even at great personal risk. He supports you in everything you want to do and always looks after you if you get stressed or disheartened whilst chasing your dreams.

He’s especially protective of Ginny, taking his role of older brother very seriously. He still says that he fell truly in love with you the moment he saw you running up and confronting Malfoy, who had been teasing Ginny after the whole Chamber of Secrets event. Upon seeing the commotion, Fred had run to help her, followed closely by George, but you had gotten there first and had verbally berated the bully before punching him square in the nose. You then pulled Ginny away, cast your arm around her protectively and had begun escorting her back to the common room even though you were originally going the other way. Only when you had met up with Fred and George did you eventually leave her and go to your destination, making sure that she was comfortable and safe with her brothers before leaving. You’d received a letter home and detention for three weeks for punching Malfoy and another late night detention for being late to class but you still maintained that it was worth it.

Will throw hands without a second thought at anyone who disrespects you. He’s incredibly protective and won’t hesitate to throw a punch at anyone who violates your boundaries. Minimal offences still demand punishment and it’s common for anyone who crosses you to suspiciously find themselves with boils, purple hair or spontaneously vomiting the next day.

He’s surprisingly needy in private and loves to cuddle. Loves having his hair stroked and played with. Always has to be touching you in some way, even just your feet touching in bed or a hand absently placed on your hip.

Cannot cook to save his life, even with the assistance of magic.

He LOVES being a twin but he’s actually terrified of having twins once you start trying for a baby.

NSFW🌹

Will try anything once. Fact.

He’s a master with his fingers. He knew how much you loved his hands even before you were together, having caught you staring at them multiple times. They’re long, thin and incredibly skilled.

Makes it his personal mission in life to learn every single one of your pleasure points and can anticipate your every reaction just by the sounds you make, having learnt each and every one.

Had a definite breeding kink but doesn’t actually want kids yet. The idea of knocking you up and seeing you pregnant makes him harder than he ever thought possible. It’s his dirty little secret.

Dirty talk champ- he knows how much you love his voice and how much it gets you off when he whispers absolute filth to you in the middle of sex but it absolutely riles him up too. It’s less of a calculated dialogue and more of a dirty, running commentary on how well he’s fucking you.

Big fan of quickies. He’ll literally fuck you anywhere if the mood arises, which is always. As much as he loves to tease you and make you wait, savouring your body, there’s nothing like a quick, hard fuck in his book.

Definite size kink. He’s 6ft 3 and you are definitely not. Along with this comes a specific show of dominance, his height making him tower over you which makes him feel powerful and in control.

Although it depends on the overall mood, he’s mostly still playful and teasing even during sex, as are you. Occasionally you will try and throw each other off their game. One time you purposefully moaned out Snape’s name to throw him off and it caused a three minute intermission as you both had to stop and laugh. He then swiftly pulled out of you, spanked you and then proceeded to fuck you harder as ‘punishment’ for moaning another man’s name.

He’s absolutely feral for you wearing skirts.

He likes the idea of public sex but after you were both once accidentally caught by George, he decided that he hated the thought of anyone but him seeing you like that and put an end to your more risky escapades. Semi-public is still fine, of course.

#emeritusemeritus #harry potter #fred weasley #fred weasley x you #emeritusemerituswrites #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley masterlist #Fred Weasley headcanons #headcanon

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cod-z · 2 months

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Why do you HATE the rain, L.T?

You chose to read this, do NOT blame me if you ignore my warnings! TW: Angst, No Comfort, Death, Betrayal, Abuse, Trauma, Hint/Mention of SA on a Minor

Pairing: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Reader

| One-shots | Pt. 2 |

A/N: Realised that I really love writing angst but hate reading it lmao

Simon, or Ghost known out in the field, knew you since you were a child, yes, both you and the reaper of death were childhood best friends, never leaving each other’s side, taking on the world even with Simon’s questionable family problems that he always covered from you.

Always protecting the things he deemed weren’t good for your mind and soul, not wanting you grow up as fast as he did, he was older in his mind and his body is taking its time to catch up.

You and Simon were inseparable that was a fact, however between you two the dynamic was rather odd.

You were the troublemaker of the duo, always jumping into danger, never considering your safety, always taking the hits whenever Simon gets bullied at school or when his father gets so drunk he doesn’t recognise you when you came to get Simon’s sleepover gear, later on hiding the bruises and scars with make-up.

However, Simon didn’t know that he wasn’t the only one with family issues.

Your parents put up a facade whenever Simon came over for a sleepover with or without his sibling, having that sweet and parental attitude around them, taking care of them as if they were their children instead of you. And once Simon leaves, your parents would relish the anger and resentment onto you, baring you with multiple, questionable damages onto your body.

Your mother made sure you could no longer fathom a word with her ‘motherly love’, as she called it, unleashing her wrath onto you while your father’s form of ‘love’ lead you to being deflowered at a young age, him being the reason why you limped walking to school and why you didn’t shine bright as you did before - always feeling like filth.

Although your attitude always changes around Simon, always giving him a smile whenever he was near you, staying strong for him as he does for you.

“That doesn’t scare you, does it?” Simon gives you a wary smile while he watches you balance on the railing of the bridge, your dress being blown gently by the wind as you stick your arms out, giggling while giving him a reassuring smile.

“What’s there to be afraid of?”

“You could fall.”

“Yeah but I’m not,” you chuckle still walking on the railing like a tightrope, Simon still being paranoid as he watches you, eventually you reach the end of the bridge. You start to laugh at Simon’s protectiveness which earned you a playful glare which causes you to laugh harder, in turn, Simon starts to laugh as well. Just two kids against the world.

That was then, this is now.

You were just a Sergeant amongst the Task Force 141, they already had two Sergeants, both, capable of completing missions as a duo or a soloist, so can you but Sim- Ghost doesn’t seem to think so.

Over the years when you both grew up, Simon wasn’t as degrading as he was now, you remember the times where he’d pick you up when you fell down.

When you were back in secondary school, you and Simon had been a main target of bullying due to rumours of you homes and family, they weren’t wrong but you both weren’t going to give them the satisfaction of letting them get under your skin nor would you allow them to shit talk about Simon and vice versa.

You both cared deeply for one another, always watching each other’s back, both in and out of school grounds, knowing bullies won’t be reprimanded once they leave school gates, sure, you could tell the teacher but you both didn’t trust any adults.

However during a chase where both of you were out numbered, Simon had accidentally caught himself on the fence when he tried to crawl underneath it, it was hooked onto his right ankle, only hooking onto the sock but you were sure he had scratches underneath, the metal wire broken the material.

He looked towards you when you grabbed his sleeves and tug on it, trying to set him free but the gang were catching up and Simon didn’t want you hurt because of the fight he had started.

“Please, let me go!”

Your panicked eyes dart to him, looking at him as if he was crazy, you shake your head defying his orders while still trying to tug him free.

“It’s you and me, Si. Us against the worl—” you were cut off when you heard fabric being ripped apart and Simon was now on top of your legs, his head rested on your laps and the sounds of rushed footsteps nears the alleyway that you had escaped.

The gang leader punches the metal wire while glaring at the two of you, cursing words at you both for hitting his mate with a branch. You both looked at each other before dashing off, the distance of cursing fading and your laughs replacing the sound.

You remember it so clearly and yet you think to yourself, was any of it real?

You stood in front of Ghost, his figure looming over yours, you eyes meeting one another as both of you know that their former, young friend no longer embodies their adult skeleton, both are grown and both are different.

The years that gapped between them were long many things had changed, Ghost lost his family while you had killed yours, you knew what happened to Ghost but he didn’t know what happened to you, you were both strangers, co-workers.

Forced, co-workers.

You had been a slave to Phillip Graves and General Shepherd, you had worked for the Shadow Company, being spared by the remorseful side of Ghost that had died or who you formally known as Simon Riley - your childhood best friend, the best friend that died along with his family, the friend that disappeared, the friend that left you to fend for your own. The man that stood in front of you, today.

You glared at him and he glared at you.

“I should’ve killed you when I had the chance,” his deep, gruff voice ring into your ear.

You don’t flinch while you both have a stand off, neither one of you backing down even with the harsh words being thrown back and forth in silence, his arms folding against his chest.

He hadn’t known why he spared you, he had his knife against your throat as you were left for dead by the Shadow Company, but he kept you alive. He doesn’t understand why he did so, you weren’t Ghost’s friend, you were Simon Riley’s best friend, the part of Ghost that died and the being of his reborn self.

However he was surprised that you hadn’t reacted out towards him from abandoning you, leaving you and not contacting you after everything he had been through, not that he couldn’t, he felt it would be best if he had left your life as he was back then. Saving you from the man he has become and known of as today, but you weren’t no different, you had changed too and not only as his enemy but as the young girl he used to love deeply.

You no longer had your enchanting smile, you no longer had the glimmer in your eyes, you no longer give that hypnotic laugh when others made jokes even with the ones he would mumble out, ones you used to laugh at.

“If you know what’s good for you ‘darlin’,” you mock his accent and the little nickname that he gave you when you first reunited while waving your hand behind you, brushing off the intense gaze he had on you. “you’ll leave me alone.”

You spat at him before brushing past him, purposely bumping his broad arms due to your height, of course it didn’t phase him but you were to petty and prideful to turn away and scowl at him more. Ghost on the other hand stared at your retreating form, his gaze solemn and softer - he missed you but you weren’t you.

“I wish you would’ve told me,” he mumbles underneath his breath, unfolding his arms as he rests them at his side.

“You don’t know what you’re asking me to admit,” the echoes of your hollow words hitting him hard.

He knows what you did to your parents, he now knows the same abuse you faced when you were kids and it pained him that he never figured it out, oblivious to all the signs. Regret that he couldn’t comfort you.

“You can’t save me and just leave me to bleed, Simon,” younger you chuckle as you play dead on the ground in your parent’s backyard with a makeshift castle out of cardboard, Simon dressed up as a knight in shining armour, defeating the dragon but it had left you falling to your doom.

Simon giggles at your silliness as you play dead, he began to tickle you until you’re both chasing one another, laughing and screaming as you take turns tickling one another. Collapsing after tiring yourselves out onto the grass while you both stared up into the sky, your hands intertwined together platonically.

“We’ll always be together, right?” you smile towards Simon while he gives you a small smile back, one of his front tooth being gone.

“Always!” he chuckles.

The innocence you both shared nothing but a faded memory as you stare up at the sky, no longer the pretty blue that you remembered all those years ago, Simon was still at your side. His body laid next to yours as you both get covered in your blood, his hand holding onto yours, his mask off his head as you both lay there on the ground.

You had been shot, a vital organ being pierced through with the bullet and there was no way to save you from your demise.

You weren’t scared, you were never scared whenever you’re with Simon Riley and that’s who Ghost was now, he was your Simon Riley and you were you, no longer hiding behind a call sign. Both of you enjoying your last moments together, him dying all over again as Simon Riley and you dying as yourself all these years ago. Finally able to join your parents in the fire down below.

“You know, I thought it was never gonna end with us together,” you glances towards him, his eyes glancing towards yours, he doesn’t respond but thinks about the situation. You chuckle weakly at his lack of response, classic Simon, which makes you cough up blood.

Seeing you in this state he lightly chuckle himself as he thinks about it as Simon, no longer Ghost as he watches his childhood friend and interest, die next to him. Another painful memory to add for his nightmares and night terrors, knowing he’ll remember your face as you fade away from him, him regretting that he didn’t seek you out, protecting you from the world like all he did when he was younger. His heart was weeping and aching while he tightly held your hand, feeling the beat of your heart diminishing and your skin slowly going cold by the second.

“Maybe it could’ve, if I wasn’t such a coward,” he covers his eyes with his arm as he hides the tears that threatened to fall, maybe things would’ve been different if he had just…

“I don’t regret meeting you,” your voice hoarse while you look back up at the sky, a small smile plastered on your lips, Simon removing his arm as he looks at your features, imbedding it into his head before he loses you. “I never did.”

His heart swelled, his eyes softening, his other hand slowly placing itself on your cheek and guides it to face him. Both of your eyes locked together, the countdown of final moments starting now, you could feel yourself slipping away, away from the cruel world that you were birthed into and away from the one person you ever dared to get close to and reunite again. Both of you knew this was the end of the troublemaker duo who both fought against the world, the world fighting back to take one of them down.

“I’m still not afraid,” you whispered out, your chest slowly lifting up and down as you get weaker. “Not when I’m with you…”

Your eyelids slowly lower themselves as you give a final delicate smile, the rain slowly inviting itself into the pity party, starting out with small raindrops landing onto their bodies. Your hand’s grip slowly loosening around Simon’s but he held on tighter, though you no longer felt the tightness as your nerves fail to respond to the pain.

Simon holds his breath as he watches you take a few more slow breathes, his heart aching at the sight of you fighting for a little bit more time to be with him, to stay with him and yet he was a coward to even think of a response to say, he needed something to say. He brushes the hair that covered your beautiful face that he adored, ignoring the blood on your lips, he grazes his lips over yours, a delicate kiss for the Princess he couldn’t protect.

“I’ll see you again, even if we’re dead…”

The faint sound of your last breath cuts the air with silence, the rain pouring down onto both of you and other corpses, the blood being merged into the dirt and mud, his hands still holding onto yours, the warmth long gone. This was the true resting ground where Simon Riley had died, next to the person who he couldn’t have and never will.

Ghost stood up as he was reborn once more, this time colder, meaner and heartless.

The one he loved had his heart in their shared grave.

A/N: hehe used all the prompts as sentences, fun.

Host(s): @xxshadowbabexx

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twstgarden · 2 months

Text

✿ ❝ 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝘆 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝗴𝗶𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗸𝗶𝗱 ❞

━ riddle rosehearts x gifted kid burnout! fem! reader ━ being a gifted child is not always deemed as a blessing, and riddle knows the feeling all too well. (f/n means first name)

requested by: @tangybiskit1 request type: oneshot requester’s message: Reader is like the perfect student.(not prefect) She gets full marks, optimistic, kind and charming to the point where even Riddle thinks his mother would like her. But after befriending her for a few weeks he decides to visit reader and her room is a mess, filled with books, scattered papers. It reminds Riddle of himself and you know how that turned out... So he tries to comfort her saying that she is good enough,(ending can be how you want) sorry if it's badly worded😭😭 this is my first time making a request.. florist’s note: oh wow, this hits close to home <3 anyway, thank you for the request, little one! ♥

this work contains spoilers from chapter 1, heartslabyul's arc.

do not steal or translate without my permission.

ko-fi here if you want to support me, commission are open

perfect. that was how people described you. a sweet, young lady with a bright smile and a bright mind. a lot of the students in night raven college liked you for your charming personality, and there was barely any student that had a bad experience with you.

perfect. you were the epitome of perfect. a beautiful young lady with a sweet smile, a charming personality, and a bright mind. who would not want to befriend you? some students even talked about you to their peers and their parents. now, it wasn’t always painted in a good light. some have been jealous of you, and some wished you did not exist at all. it makes them look bad, you know?

of course, riddle was one of those people. he greatly admired you for your dedication and hard work, and he takes great pride in having you as a heartslabyul resident. you were the perfect, ideal example of what heartslabyul students should be. you followed all the rules to a t, memorized every one of them, and never questioned or disobeyed the rules that may seem too extreme or ridiculous.

“ah, f/n,” spoke riddle as soon as he saw you in the library, a smile ghosting over his lips. his voice reached your ears as you looked up from your book and smiled at him, “oh… hello, dormitory leader rosehearts!”

that sweet smile.

riddle did not realise his cheeks were tinted pink as he remained smiling at you. he then walked away, not knowing what else to say or how to keep the conversation going. oh, how he wished he could befriend you. he was stuck in this student-to-student relationship with you, and he did not know how to deepen it.

it was going well, at least, that’s what he thought. he made sure he could interact with you at least once a day, to get the both of you used to each other’s presence. he also decided to join you at your table during lunch, eating with you without the need for a conversation. it did not take long until your relationship went deeper than the shallow interactions.

“by the way, riddle… why is your favourite food strawberry tarts?” you asked as you nibbled on a tart that he shared with you. as riddle took a bite of his own, he replied, “it’s sweet and rich with flavours. i rarely ever get to taste it when i was younger, but the one time i did felt like heaven was in my mouth…”

there was a small smile on your face as you listened to riddle. you knew what his household was like. you were there during the overblot incident, after all. “i mean, my mother did get angry at me for eating that… she told me it was too sugary and it’s poisonous for my health…”

unconsciously, your hand went up to his cheek as you caressed it for comfort. riddle also froze as soon as he felt the affection before glancing at you. you realised what you had done and quickly retracted your hand with a blush, “ah— sorry, sorry. i thought you needed some comfort.”

with you around, riddle always felt like he could continue to hold on and move forward. seeing your bright smile energizes him for the day, and seeing your name at the top of the achiever's list always brings a sense of pride from within.

“congratulations, f/n,” spoke riddle as soon as he saw you standing by the bulletin board. you had a blank expression on your face before smiling as soon as you heard his voice, “oh, thanks! congratulations to you, too.”

‘why do you look sad?’, thought riddle to himself as he noticed your blank expression before acknowledging him. were you not happy with what you got? but you received a 499 out of 500, surely, it’s worth a smile or two, no?

he decided to brush it off a little since you had already walked away, but it was in the back of his mind for a few days now. why did you seem bothered? he knew the importance of getting a perfect score, his mother reiterated that several times.

he did not speak much of it, but he did notice you getting a little distant, even if you are physically beside him. your mind seemed to be in another place every time he tried to discuss something with you. it was clear that something was wrong.

but he did not know how to approach the problem.

riddle tried accompanying you during study sessions, gifting you treats, sharing his tarts with you over lunch, doing mind exercises with you, and many other things. however, they only seemed to fix the problem temporarily.

exam season was around the corner once more, and everyone has been busying themselves with studying. riddle had spent his time studying, but of course, he did not neglect his duties as the dormitory head. as soon as the clock struck 3 in the afternoon, it was time for his patrol around the dorm. he had to make sure all his residents were disciplined and studying.

with one room into the next, he discovered all of them busying themselves with reading and discussing certain sections of their books with their roommates. ‘good work,’ thought riddle to himself as he saw his residents studying. he just hoped ace and deuce were doing the same.

as soon as he reached your room, he knocked on the door before twisting the knob and peeking in. he thought he would see you silently seated on your study table, reading through a book, or taking notes. however, he discovered you seated on the floor, a book on your lap as you wrote in your notebook, surrounded by several copies of papers and books.

you were in a clear state of disarray. your hair was a mess as you checked every paper before writing something down in the notebook. the process continued as you mumbled under your breath, “no, this is not right… the answer isn’t hydrolysis…”

a sigh escaped your lips as you buried your head into your palms, your hair covered your devastated expression as riddle silently walked into your room and knelt beside you, picking up all the scattered notes as you sniffled and glanced at him, “riddle…?”

you did not expect to see him in your room, and you quickly wiped your cheeks as you picked up the remaining scattered papers. riddle held the notes he collected and looked at you, seeing your cheeks, eyes, and the tip of your nose being tinted with a little bit of red from all the crying.

you were having a breakdown. he knew that much. he now noticed why you seemed absentminded and distant lately, especially with the exam season coming up. you were drowning yourself in your studies, making sure you memorized and remembered every single fact taught to you.

“…sorry you had to see me like this…” you mumbled as you grabbed the notes from him. he quickly shook his head as he spoke, “no… you don’t have to apologise. how long have you been cooped up in here?”

“i’ve been here all weekend…” you replied. you’ve been in your room, studying for two days straight without paying much attention to your other needs, and it was evident with the bags under your eyes. he hoped you were at least eating, but as he looked around your room, there were a few wrappers from the snacks you ate and an empty water bottle.

a sigh escaped riddle’s lips as he held his hand out to you, “you’re a mess. you need to eat… come.” you shook your head, which caused riddle to raise a brow, “f/n, all you’ve eaten were convenience meals with no proper nutrition whatsoever. don’t be stubborn and—”

“i don’t care!”

riddle fell silent in shock. did you just… yell?

you looked up at him, your eyes held glossy tears as you spoke, “i don’t care even if i starve for days! they’re worth nothing if i fail… this is our finals, and it will determine just how much i’m worth…” a soft sob escaped your lips as you bowed your head to hide your tears, “it will… determine how much my parents love me…”

riddle was silent. so, this is what hides behind the perfect f/n l/n. behind that sweet smile, charming personality, and bright mind was a little girl who never had the chance to be a child, to experience what it’s like to have fun, and to know what it’s like to have no expectations to live up to.

how lonely you must have felt.

“who cares if i’m physically well when i make a single mistake on the test? my mother cursed me through the phone as soon as she saw my results…” you mumbled, venting out everything that had happened the past few days, “i’m nothing but a useless brat who wastes their money in a prestigious school… i don’t deserve to be here if i can’t even get full marks to show that i’m learning something…”

riddle knew what it was like to have a parent who seeks perfection in their child, and it was only lately when he realised it was an unhealthy way of living, drowning yourself in your studies to ensure future success to the point you’d neglect yourself. he got closer to you, holding your shoulder as you wiped your tears, “if i fail the finals, they won’t let me continue my education…”

he was stunned. sure, a punishment is given when one does not receive the desired results on a test. that was his norm, too, but completely discontinuing your education because of 1 mistake or 2 on a test is extreme.

“what…? your parents would go that far…?” questioned riddle. you merely nodded in response as you wiped your tears and hugged your knees to your chest, “…everything feels like a chore…” riddle was left frozen, he did not know what to say or do as he never received appropriate support growing up.

he understands your pains, but he doesn’t know how to comfort you. he can’t lie and say it would be better because he knows that won’t do anything.

you have been showing the brightest smile he’s ever seen all the time, but who knew you were breaking piece by piece? all because of the expectations set on you. all because you were the gifted child of your parents, and therefore, you must live up to be the best of the best.

“sometimes i think… i should just stop… maybe if i fail several times, then they’ll leave me alone… but that also means i won’t receive their love and praises… and i won’t be their favourite daughter anymore…”

riddle stayed silent as he sat on the floor beside you, listening to you vent out all that had been stuck in your mind.

“but… sometimes i also think… if i ruin myself too much and fail… i’m worth nothing… who would love a worthless person? then i’ll be destined to be alone…” you cried softly as you kept hugging your knees to your chest, “i’m tired of thinking about this… i’m tired of caring so much… i’m tired of hearing all the curses that come out of my mother’s mouth… i’m tired of repeatedly being told that i am useless…”

the room then fell silent, and only your soft sobs broke the ice as riddle gently placed his hand on your hair. “…you’re not useless just because you got one or two questions wrong in a test…” mumbled riddle as you peeked at him with your face buried into your arms, “and… you’re not worthless. you don’t need to be perfect to be loved… you just need to be yourself.”

as you remained to look at him, you sniffled softly and wiped your tears, “…but…” riddle gave you a small smile, “i know what it feels like to know that everything we learned growing up and the things we are exposed to is wrong… you’ve been told that anything less than perfect is unacceptable, and i was taught the same thing…”

a soft sigh left his lips as he placed a hand on your cheek, the same way you did to him when he spoke of his reason for loving a sweet treat, “you were there when the incident happened, and i have learned my mistakes… now i am here to tell you that you are worth it. you’re not a financial burden, you’re not useless, you’re not stupid, you are none of that, f/n. i wish you could see yourself the way i see you… then you’ll understand why i always want to be around you…”

you were speechless. what could you possibly say in response to that? if you didn’t know any better, it felt like a confession disguised as comforting words. receiving no verbal response, riddle got a little embarrassed as he avoided your gaze, “… i said too much. i apologise—”

“no…”

riddle blinked before he glanced back at you, seeing you smile a little at him, “…i appreciate your words… thank you…” seeing that sweet smile, even if it was a small one, made riddle smile as well, “you don’t need to thank me… now, you need to have your lunch.” he stood up and held his hand out to you.

you held his hand and stood up, smiling at him as you were about to wipe any remaining tearstains on your face when his hand gently rested on your cheek, wiping it as he spoke, “i don’t want to see you neglecting yourself next time.”

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cryinginmyroomsposts · 9 months

Text

Growing into Love

pairing:Husband!Seokjin x fem!reader

tags: fluff, slight angst, husband Jin, non-idol!au, Arranged marriage trope, mentions of parent issues

summary: Arranged marriage could've been a lot of things, but with Jin, it was nothing but comfortable. Maybe too comfortable that you hadn't realised when you'd both fallen in love.

masterlist | Let me know your thoughts and feedback.

“You know what Mom, I’m sorry. I thought, for once, you’d understand me but of course. My bad. Let’s just forget this. Bye.”

No matter how long it had been, it was never easy. Even years of therapy cannot make the complicated relationship between your parents and you easier to deal with. After everything said and done, you still did love your parents and you knew they loved you too. Even if they weren't great at depicting it without it affecting you.

It was tiresome nevertheless. The constant back and forth, you still hoping they'd understand even though they haven't in the last twenty-seven years and them hoping you'd finally see their side.

It had gotten easier when you had moved out after high school. You had enjoyed the taste of freedom and independence for 6 years since high school, mainly because you knew it came with a deadline- arranged marriage. It was a tradition in your family, everybody always got an arranged marriage. Even after knowing that it’s your destiny, the fear of “what ifs” had eaten you up for years.

For years you'd fought against it, but eventually, you lost all the will to fight and gave in. You had no choice. No matter how much you did, they always demanded more. Maybe you were to blame, for hoping even after everything.

With all the thoughts and the pain still fresh in your heart, you slump against the sofa on the floor throwing your phone on the coffee table. You're trying your best to not let the tears fall. Leaning your head back you just breathe and try to stop the well-known spiral that was going on in your brain.

"That bad huh?"

The voice startles you. You open your eyes to see your husband standing at the kitchen entrance looking at you. His wide shoulders clad in his favourite white t-shirt, a pink worn-out apron on his slender waist, glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, the soft features on his face slowly turning into concern as he assessed you.

Being married to Seokjin had been a pleasant surprise. Both of you knew what you were getting into, had spoken openly about your needs and kept to your boundaries. You understood that love was not exactly an option in your situation, but there was never any animosity between the two of you.

After a year of marriage, you'd become friends and partners/ teammates of sorts and constantly enabled each other to succeed. You had a routine, shared chores, shared your hobbies with each other and existed in perfect harmony. There was never a need or yearning for more, as it felt comfortably natural at every point.

Everything you'd learnt about him made you want to remove all the unfair pain he'd been through and protect him from further pain. One month into your marriage you got to know that his family had caused him a broken heart and forced him into this predicament. Yet he was always polite and nice to you and his family, and your respect for him grew multifold. Then you began noticing how he was often silent and blue when he thought no one was paying him attention. His smile faded every time he turned away from people which made you feel like it was you who was getting hurt.

But along the way, in the last year, Jin had genuinely become more balanced. His over-hyper nature around people and the eerily silent persona at home had slowly eased into a balance that dances on the verge of both. He makes you laugh almost every day, has cried in front of you a couple times and always cooked the most delicious meals every weekend. Jin was also a complete crackhead, especially when his younger brother Jungkook visits- which is almost all the time. Jungkook had been a big part of your life since your marriage and you would not have it any other way. Especially since it made Jin smile from his heart (and annoyed him to know bounds that you spoiled Jungkook).

"Y/N, are you okay?"

You blink at the voice, Jin is now crouching in front of you, back leaning against the coffee table as he looks at you. His eyes filled with worry, lips puckered and hair tousled. You bite your lips to prevent the threatening tears from falling down.

"Didn't you hear ?" You ask with a quivering voice, referring to the phone call you had with your parents moments ago.

"No, I was caught up in making lunch." He settles one hand on your shoulder in a pat. "But from the look on your face, I assume it didn't go well. If you want to talk, you know I'm here."

You nod, blinking more furiously in a futile attempt. He smiles and wipes the tears away.

"It's ok to cry, we spoke about this."

"I know. That's what I'm doing." You say as more tears fall and a smile graces your face. "Aha, I know what will cheer you up." His eyes widen and a mischievous smile plays on his face as you look at him in confusion. "I'll call Jungkookie, you are always happy when he annoys me. I don't get it but it'll work for now." You look at him for a moment to gauge how serious he is and end up laughing when he picks up his phone to call the younger one.

"No no Jin don't call kookie. Poor thing, he really wanted to sleep in this weekend. Plus he really needs to start hanging out with people other than us." You say between laughing as Jin puts his phone down.

"Hmmm," he thinks as he absentmindedly wipes more of your tears away and you're watching in anticipation waiting for his next suggestion. "In that case, maybe ice cream will help?" He asks with big eyes and a pout, looking like an innocent child. You immediately nod like an excited 5-year-old at his suggestion.

Jin brings you the ice cream tub you'd both bought at the supermarket and hands over a spoon.

"Here, enjoy!" "Hehe thanks, I love you. You're the best Jin." "Aissh, love you too. I'll go check on lunch. don't eat too much."

You were about to hum back in response but froze mid-action, ice cream spoon on the tip of your tongue. Your eyes widen in reaction and you drop the spoon on the floor. This causes Jin to stop midway to the kitchen and look at you.

"Y/N, are you okay?" He says rushing to your side. You just look at him in pure shock.

"We, I- we-" The words fail to come out of your mouth and your mind is a mess. "We what?" He asks, the concern back on his face.

"wesaidiloveyou" The words leave your mouth in such a hurry that Seokjin almost misses it. When he realises he gets more confused and replies with a shrug, "Yeah so?"

"What do you mean so? We said THE words Seokjin." The incredulous look on his face stays put and you add, "For the first time."

He scoffs and smiles. "This is not the first time."

"What?"

His smile falters, "You don't remember?" "Remember what? Jin don't mess with me now." Your voice is timid and you feel a giant lump creeping up your throat.

"You're the one messing with my head right now. Do you really not remember saying I love you to me that night?" He looks at you in disbelief, ears reddening and his pout in full display. "What night?"

"Y/N, come on seriously?" "I really don't remember Seokjin."

He stares at you for a moment too long, sighs and walks back to the kitchen. You close the ice cream tub and run to follow him in. He's stirring the stew in the pot and even though his back is facing you, you don't miss the agitation in his movements. You wait for him to close the lid on the pot and watch as he just stares at the wall. Slowly you move closer to him but he whips around even before you could tap on his shoulder, and looks at you.

"Jin, I really do not remember what you are referring to and I'm sorry. Just tell me when it was, please." You give him your best puppy eyes and he sighs leaning his head back on the shelf above, before facing you again.

"The night after we went to your cousin's wedding, in bed, before sleeping you told me you love me and I said it back." Your jaw drops to the floor. "That was three months ago," is all you say as you try your best to jog your memory of the night.

That had been a particularly rough family function- with your father questioning every career choice you had made, your mother constantly criticising your outfit choice and every other relative asking you only about your plans to have kids. Seokjin had been very comforting and stayed by your side the entire night. You remember how his hand never moved from the small of your back the entire night and how he kept running circles on your palm whenever he held them. That night you were sure you had fallen for Seokjin, but you did not remember vocalising it to him. And definitely did not remember him saying it back.

Jin's strained sigh brings you back to the man in front of you, he is doing his best to look positive and lighthearted about this and you can see it.

"Why didn't you bring it up the next day?" You wanted to say sorry, you wanted to hug him but this was the only sentence that came out of your mouth. "I figured you said it in a sleepy daze. And maybe you didn't mean it." Jin sounds so small and nervous at the moment.

"But then it happened again." He adds before you can say anything and all you can say is, "HUH?"

He rubs his palm on the back of his neck and nods. "Yeah, actually you've said it 7 times in the last three months including today."

"WHAT?" Jin looks as shocked as you do at this revelation.

"Why the hell do I not remember it?" "How the hell am I supposed to know." Jin's voice comes out sharper and you realise how all of this might be for him. But he turns back to the dish on the stove and you are left to jog your memory to see if he was right.

"The second time was when I bought you the big chocolate cake when you were on your period- two months back," Jin says in the most neutral tone and the memory comes back to you.

You hadn't even informed him about your periods, he somehow always knew. But you were positively shocked when he walked into your shared bedroom with a chocolate cake in his hand, explaining that it will ease your cramps. It might've been possible that you voiced the exact feeling you were having in a moment of joy.

"Then it was a week later when you were leaving for work." Jin is now back to stirring and assessing his pot and his voice seems muffled.

"When?" He turns to look at you for a brief second, he assesses your confused face and turns back smirking.

"You said 'I love you bye' on your way out the door, I knew you didn't realise it. In fact, you did this again twice, Kookie was here during the fifth time."

"Wha- How... Do I have memory loss?" Jin turns around and you can see the smile he's trying to control. "Don't laugh, Jin. How else do you explain my not remembering saying it?" He stays leaning on the counter with his smirk playing on his face and says, "So you definitely don't remember drunkenly professing your love for me last week and then proceeding to cuddle me the entire night until I laid you on the bed in the morning right?"

If you were shocked till now it was nothing compared to this bombshell Jin dropped on you.

"Are you lying?", "No why would I!" Jin looks convincingly innocent but it only worsens your confusion. How did you miss such an important moment of both of your lives. Your husband loves you and has said so multiple times but your brain has successfully managed to forget that. You try your best to remember but nothing out of the ordinary jumps from your brain.

He breaks down laughing- screeching noises and all, as he watches you process it. Your first reaction, post-shock, is to hit him in the arms and exasperatedly pout.

"Jin, that's not fair. Why the hell did you not tell me any of this ?"

He sobers up then and stands in front of you, holding both your shoulders and a sweet smile on his face. "I didn't mean to hide it, I just thought you didn't want to bring it up. Y/N, you told me yourself that you're a flight risk and that you weren't looking for love. I didn't want to make you panic."

"Aww that's sweet of you." He nods annoyingly smug and you roll your eyes. "But I still feel horrible that I didn't even notice it fully. I mean.. how does one forget that?" Jin shakes his head at your words and gives a little squeeze to your shoulder as he says, "You didn't forget it, it just came so naturally to you that it wasn't a big deal."

You look up at his eyes hearing his words. "Was it the same for you?" Jin gulps and rubs the back of his neck again. He's turning redder by the minute and you love seeing him like this. "Well, yeah. I actually said it a week before you did for the first time." You open your mouth to react but he interrupts you. "And no, you didn't forget it. I was scared and told it when you were sleeping."

"When?"

"Aiish, I don't remember Y/N." He's almost as red as a tomato now. You scoff at his words. "Oh please, you just listed the 7 very random days I told you I love you. And I know for a fact you remember when you first said it. Spill it, Jin." Jin is fully blushing and you're sure you are too by how heated up your cheeks feel. You continue riling him up by poking his arms till he swats you away and answers your question.

"I- Oh god stop Y/N, I'll tell.", "Okay, go on."

"It was the night you suggested we sleep in the master bedroom together because you felt it was unfair that I had to sleep in the guest room." Jin covers his hands in his face and cringes at himself while you've got the biggest smile playing on your face. You start giggling and that makes him look up from his hands with a pout.

"Ya don't laugh at me!" "No, no I'm not laughing at you. It's just... that's all it took for you to fall in love with me?"

His face immediately changes from his pout to a soft smile. "That's because I didn't fall in love, and neither did you.", "Oh." You try your best to let it not show but you know that your face has deflated just the way your heart felt.

Jin notices it and smiles before adding, "We didn't fall in love, we grew into it, and that's much better. I've fallen in love before and you know what, when you fall it feels like you're flying until you crash. I think falling in love is a sad thing." He moves closer and holds your face in his palms as you look up at him without breaking eye contact. "With you, with us, we didn't fall and we won't crash. I've been in a relationship where even the smallest things were a big deal- every 'I love you' and anniversary. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, I'm just saying I really do prefer how natural it feels to just say I love you and not make a big deal of it. With you, specifically. I love how we just started doing things together without overthinking it. So yea, we grew into loving each other."

By the time he is done you're eyes are watering and the tears flow down your cheeks. He wipes them away and you just stare at him, thinking about his words. He was right, almost all of your firsts since your wedding have been entirely unspoken. One day you just cuddled against him while watching a movie and neither of you questioned it. Or when he randomly pulled you in a bear hug and cried after a tough day, or when he comforted you during your family functions and you did the same. Even when you were busy trying to fight off any feelings because of your fear, you couldn't succeed. It all felt natural.

"Y/N, please don't cry. You've been crying since the damn phone call and now I've made you cry too." You shake your head sideways and pull him into an embrace, leaning your head on his chest and sniffling your tears in. He rubs your back trying to calm you down, which you do because Jin always knows how to calm you. You lift your head from his chest and look at him, still in a tight embrace.

"How are you this smart and amazing?" He smiles shyly and then smirks before adding, "I am 3 years older than you and I know a lot more than you do!"

"Tch, what a shame I didn't record that and send it to Jungkook. He'd be so happy to see you admit that you're old." You tease and Jin looks at you in mock anger which causes you to laugh.

"I've been realising it here and there but like you said nothing felt out of the ordinary or uncomfortable enough to question it. So... okay I agree, we grew into loving each other." Jin nods with a fond smile. "Now what?" you add with raised eyebrows watching keenly as Jin smirks and his hug around you gets tighter. Your face heats up as he leans into you slowly, your eyes trained on those plump lips of his that have always caught your attention. You close your eyes and wait for his lips to hit your lips and finally fee-

TRIINGGGGG

The sound of Jin's ringtone blaring from his pant pocket makes both of you jump away from the embrace. Recovering faster from the shock, Jin picks up the phone and curses as he shows you the called ID- Jungkook.

You laugh as Jin attends the call and immediately starts cursing the younger one and Jungkoook lets out his usual Elmo giggles and shouts for you to support him.

Jin was right, this all felt natural. This is your family, your home and you'd cherish it forever.

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