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#always have meaning. what i believe is that when the conscious mind shuts off for sleep; the subconscious starts unpacking stuff completely
estrellami-1 · 1 month
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If I Should Stay
Tread lightly, folks. Discussions of past cheating, which is kinda par for the course for these two. Also, please keep in mind I do not condone Nancy’s actions in the least, nor do I fully believe Joyce has the best intentions for Nancy. It’s not conscious, mind you, but subconsciously, she’s always gonna want to her help kids first. Big gray area here.
Part 1 | . . . | Part 66 | Part 67 | Part 68
Joyce tugs Nancy in even more securely. “I know exactly what you mean. But no one here is like that. I think, this time around, he’s done an excellent job of surrounding himself with people who actually care about him.” She runs a hand over Nancy’s hair. “And you’re part of that group. Regardless of what you want to call what you feel for him, it’s obvious you care. It’s okay to need to take some time, but in the end, when you’re wondering what’s next, just remember he cares for you too.”
Nancy nods. “I think I do need some time,” she murmurs. “It just feels like he moved on so fast.”
“Because it’s not been as long for you,” Joyce nods. “I get it, honey. Take all the time you need. Want Jonathan to keep you company?”
Nancy looks at her. “D’you know who I cheated on Steve with?”
Joyce smiles softly at her. “I do. And trust me, I’d have something to say to him about it later if he’d known you two were still together.” She inclines her head toward Nancy, brows raised, gaze serious.
“Oh,” Nancy whispers, eyes dropping. “I didn’t know that.”
“Mhm. But it’s in the past—well, the future past, I guess—and you can take as long as you need, okay? But I do think someone deserves an apology.”
Nancy sighs. “You’re right.” She picks at the hem of her pants, then nods and stands up, hands on her hips. “I need time. But I need to apologize first.” She just as suddenly deflates, nerves coming in fast. “Will- will you come with me?”
Joyce smiles up at her. “Of course I will. C’mon.” She stands too and offers Nancy another hug, which she gratefully accepts. “I’m proud of you,” she murmurs.
“Thank you,” Nancy whispers, pulling back and squaring her shoulders as she stares at the house.
They walk up together but Joyce walks in first, Nancy following just behind. “Steve?” She asks timidly. “Can I talk to you?”
Robin and Allison both stiffen, but Steve waves them off as he gets up. “Outside?”
“Steve-” Allison starts, but he holds up a hand before turning to her.
“I’ll be fine,” he says softly. “We’re just gonna talk.”
He walks outside with her, Joyce hovering by the door, acting both as support and as a lookout.
“I’m sorry,” Nancy says forcefully, like it was pulled out of her. “I shouldn’t have gotten so upset, you broke up with me, and you really didn’t owe me an explanation but you gave me one anyways, even if it hadn’t actually happened yet, but I… I got insecure. And jealous. So I’m sorry.”
Steve nods, shoves his hands in his pockets, looks down. Scuffs his shoe along the concrete. “I get why you’re upset,” he starts cautiously. “But I thought we were okay. And to find out we’re not…” he lets out a harsh breath. “I do still care for you, Nancy. You’re one of my best friends. But I think I’m gonna need some time for this one.”
Nancy looks down at her own feet, wrapping her arms around herself. “I don’t think I took as much time as I should’ve,” she admits. “Can you count me out of this one?”
Steve manages a smile. “Yeah, I can do that.”
“And-” she squeezes her eyes shut, lets out a shaky breath. “Jonathan too, maybe?”
“I-” Steve takes a breath, stops himself, looks wide-eyed at the ground before letting out a long, controlled breath. “Yeah. I can do that.” His words are barely a whisper, and he lets out another short, harsh breath before brushing past her. “Excuse me.”
He lets himself back inside, and Nancy stands there, wide-eyed, staring through the spot he’d been standing in.
Then, Nancy Wheeler breaks.
The tears come in strong and fast, and she’s crumbling where she stands before strong arms catch her. “It’s alright,” Joyce whispers in her ear. “It’ll be alright.”
She lowers them both to the ground and lays Nancy’s head on her shoulder.
“I- I don’t get it,” Nancy sobs. “I did the right th-thing and I f-feel terrible!”
Joyce hushes her. “I know, dear. Sometimes the right thing feels terrible in the moment, but is best in the long run.” She runs a hand over Nancy’s head. “Did you drive yourself?”
Nancy nods. “And M-Mike.”
“Okay. Do you think I could drive you home and Jon could follow in our car? That way he can stay with you and I can come back here.”
Nancy nods and look up at her. “C-can you m-make sure Steve’s okay?”
“Of course, dear. Come on, let’s get you home, okay? And I’ll even give you my mom’s recipe to heal a broken heart: a warm cup of tea, a good cry, and a good night’s rest.”
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What you maintain in the 4th dimension, your conscious and subconscious impressions as TRUE reality BEING EXPERIENCED, currently, NOW as TRUE, ACTUAL, physical reality … is granted. What you believe to BE TRUE REALITY experiencing, is true reality experiencing, as always. You are currently in a shadow of what you believed to be true. >Shift and it will too. What you believe to be true… who you act as though … live as though… seeeee from, believe from. Form.
“Be Anne” Truly BE that person you desire. Truly BE the person you want to be. Truly THINK as them. Truly THINK from their mind. Truly THINK and SEE and BELIEVE and EMBODY and IDENTIFY as them. Think the thoughts they would have. What tasks you must do, or have done, how incredible this is. How secure you feel. How proud you are of yourself. Hop into that timeline and stay in that timeline and bury the old. It is dead. You can no longer enter that body or world. The door is shut and you are kicked out and you’ve entered the new it’s the ONLY way you can think and see from because it is where you are living.
“Be the successful Author.” Imagine the covers, imagine the books selling out and you can’t even keep them on the shelves. “Be the successful business owner.” Imagine the tasks done with successful outcomes. Imagine the happy customers. Imagine the designs for products and finalizing them and customers commenting on the beautifully boxed packages. Imagine them complimenting the mission. Imagine successfully negotiating with your supplier and shipper. Imagine your first bulk order selling out within weeks. “Be the successful person who doesn’t worry about money.” Go shopping or to the spa and imagine not having to check your account to ensure the funds. Imagine not having the old thought of I can’t go buy that or I can’t go get that treatment done. Now it’s whatever you want! I don’t worry about money. I trust myself so much I know everything is set. I see the money in my account. I see the books selling off the shelves. I see the happy customers.
Our acceptance of the imagination as physical reality wills the means for fulfillment. There can be no other way. Nothing that is, is without.
Let me again lay the foundation of changing future, which is nothing more than a controlled waking dream, which is nothing more than your regular conscious creation:
Define your objective - know definitely what you want.
Construct an event which you believe you will encounter following the fulfillment of your desire, your regular life, an event which complies the fulfillment of your desire.
Immobilize the physical body and induce a state of consciousness akin to sleep; then, mentally feel yourself right into the proposed action, imagining all the while you are actually performing the action here and now, so that you experience in imagination what you would experience in the flesh were you now to realize this goal.
When we have learned to control the movements of our attention in our 4D world, we shall be able to consciously create circumstances in the 3D world. As we already do, with everything.
We learn this control through the waking dream, where our attention is maintained without effort, for attention minus effort is indispensable to changing the future. We can, in a controlled waking dream, consciously construct and create an event which we desire to experience in the 3D world, constructing it as we do with every single sensory experience anyway.
The sensory impressions we use to construct our waking dream are present realities displaced in time or the 4D world…. All we have to do in constructing the waking dream is to select from the vast array of sensory impressions those, which, when properly arranged, imply we have realized our desire. (Is this what Deja vu is? Our incredible minds creating because nothing can be without it?)
With the dream clearly designed and defined, we relax and induce a consciousness or state akin to sleep - a state bordering on sleep but leaves us conscious control of our attention. When this state is achieved, we experience in imagination what we would experience in reality (were this waking dream an objective fact.) ……. in applying this technique to change the future, it is IMPORTANT to always remember that the only thing which occupies the mind during the waking dream IS the waking dream, (the reality) the predetermined action which implies the fulfillment of desires. To only experience the reality, your imagination, as you would in your 3D world. HOW the waking dreams becomes physical fact is not your concern. The ACCEPTANCE of the waking dream as PHYSICAL REALITY, AS TRUTH wills the means for fulfillment.
- Neville Goddard
Being from, forming 🔗
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strangeterrain · 1 year
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Interview with Anthony Green retrieved from DecoyMusic.com (February 2005) (x) Anthony Green of Circa Survive by Kazy Brown
Put your audience’s conscious at ease and tell us your feeling about Saosin? I love that band. That first album and the music will forever be etched in my mind. It will sit in my memory as meaning so much to me. It was hard to explaining to them that I wanted different things than them. But, I had to do it. I had to do it for myself and for them. They deserve the best. Cove is an amazing singer. I’ve met him, spoken with him and he’s an amazing talent. They’re going to be huge. I’ve heard people say that Cove is “ripping me off”, but I couldn’t disagree more. He doesn’t rip me off. He does his own thing. He loves my style, but his talent is bigger than anything I could have dreamed up. And as long as the band is doing things for the right reasons then I believe they can accomplish anything. As long as the music speaks for itself and nothing else then Cove will be going places. He is a whole-hearted human being. I believe in them.
What goes through your head when an audience member requests, “Seven Years” or any song from the Saosin?
I’m honored. I’m sincerely thankful. They’re into my music. I can’t believe it sometimes.
What do the other members of Circa Survive think of that?
They’re all down. They know what’s up. We’re all very tight as friends. We all know what the deal is. We know why we are where we are. And we all respect it. Those guys will never try to boost my ego. That stuff was phenomenal and I was stoked to be a part of it. I wanted to go in a different place; they wanted to go their way. I love them.
Have you spoken to the old members of This Day Forward? What do they think of Circa Survive?
They’re really proud. They all have their own thing. We have mutual respect. Contrary to popular belief everything is extremely positive.
There were audience members singing songs that haven’t been released tonight. They had obviously downloaded leaked songs. How much does that bother you?
I don’t mind at all. Period. I’m not at the point where I’ve ever made any money from this. But whether I have or not isn’t the point. The point is- I love looking behind me and knowing how important this is. If the audience recognizing this commitment, then I don’t give a shit. As long as they love my passion as much as I do, I don’t mind.
What is it like going from a headlining act to an opening act? It must be exciting, right?
It’s strange, but in the greatest way. There are so many new faces out there that make me feel warm and accepted. Whether they like it or not I’m going to jump into them and I hope they’re ready for it.
Is the singer of Circa Survive a completely foreign person to you?
I don’t know him, never met him. I’ve heard a lot about him and seen pictures, but I’ve never met him. In-between songs I’m a confused little boy, but equally excited. When we play- I’m shut off. I have no idea who that guy is. I’d love to speak to him, though.
Tell me a little bit about working with Brian McTernan?
Oh. The best experience ever. We spent three months writing and record ourselves in our basement in Philadelphia. And that is all we did. We came into the Brian’s studio fully prepared. The second we got there he was experimenting with the sound. Initially we were very attached to our original writing, which made it strange. But the second we got working we gave in immediately to his ideas. He is a genius and we are utterly grateful to have spent the time with him.
Growing up how important was it for you to write your feelings down and express them musically? What do you attribute to who you are today?
Growing up I was in local bands, but always had self esteem problems. I had issues with who I was and who I wanted to be. What I wanted to be was a good person. Someone who cares about other people and cared about himself. And as I grew up I didn’t like whom I was. I was losing touch with who I was and what it took to be the person I wanted to be. I knew that the best way to make my family and myself proud was to be the best singer I could possibly be. Because that’s all I wanted to do. And now, my parents are very proud of me. The best part is- they’re proud of me because they know I’m happy. When I was with Saosin and in California I was calling them every week telling them how big this thing was and how happy it all made me. Deep down, the music was fun, but I wasn’t really into the whole screaming and singing thing. At least I hadn't been since I was a sixteen listing to Closure, Shai Halud and Quicksand. But as I got older I started listing to Paul Simon, Dredge and Bjork. That stuff hit me in a deeper place because of its sincerity. When I examined the elements that represented integrity in music I looked into myself. The thing that makes me the person I am today is my family. They showed me peace, spirituality and love.
When you listen to music what is more important to you- music or lyrics?
Lyrics. Honestly. Only because I write so much and have such a deep appreciation for it. Music initially grabs me, but lyrics draw me in. I pick a part every line of every song and analyze it. It’s important to become critical aware of lyrics often times because lyrics are so overlooked.
What do you think of your fans? Saosin, Circa Survive and otherwise?
I love anyone who is into the music. When people take it a step too far by getting into the fashion and personality, that's when I shut off. I have a difficult time embracing fans that love the side effects more than the actual music. Listen to music, not artists. Let the art speak for itself.
What happens if this album hits #1 and goes straight to TRL?
I don’t think it will ever happen, whether it does or not I’m stoked. I love doing this. As long as I’m doing this and the fans enjoy what I’m doing then I’m happy. If things did get big I certainly wouldn’t want to abandon playing small venues. I love reaching out and feeling a connection. That's important. Me physically connecting with an audience is important. It makes me realize that this is real and equally important to them as it is to me. That’s all it’s about.
Anthony, I can’t thank you enough. It was a complete pleasure.
Thank you. This is one of the better interviews I’ve done. I had a great time. Circa Survive loves Decoy.
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i-spaced-sorry · 2 years
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First Date
Jay Halstead x Asexual ! Reader
Imagine you’re on your first date with Jay and he knows your asexual but doesn’t know how to carry on with the date.
A/N: I wrote this from my experience as being an Asexual in the dating world, but every persons experience is different! This is just how I’d imagine Jay would handle things.
Dating as an asexual had never been easy. All guys seemed to want was sex and they were willing to do whatever and say whatever they had to, to try and make you comfortable around the idea. But when you didn’t budge, they cussed you out and left in a very dramatic guilt tripping manner, hoping you’d change your mind. That was why when Jay Halstead said he was completely and utterly okay with you being asexual, you didn’t believe him for a minute. 
“Y/N, I know we said all we were going to do was cuddle, but I’m not sure what else you want from me,” Jay stated, while pushing himself up against the headboard. 
I cocked my head sideways and asked, “what do you mean?” Was he going to turn on me like the other guys? I knew he was too good to be true. 
“Some girls want sex, some girls want to make out, but with you, I can’t read what you want” was all he said back. 
Thinking about what he was saying, I realized that he had just spent the last 4 hrs laying in bed cuddling with me and I really should indulge him with something he wanted. 
“I don’t know honestly”
Smiling, Jay asked, “Y/N, is it okay if I kiss you? I don’t really know how asexuality works and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but I really like you.”
Feeling my cheeks turn red, I smiled.I really liked this guy and I was so happy to see that he was treading lightly around the topic of my sexuality. But I had never kissed anyone properly before and was scared he would laugh in my face. 
“I’d like that,” I heard my voice say in response. 
Jay closed his eyes and started to lean in. 
Staring his lips down as they got closer I could feel my heart start to beat faster, before I knew what I was doing, I put my hand on his chest and pushed him back yelping, “Wait!”
“What? What’s wrong?” asked Jay, as he stared back at me with a confused look on his face.
Realizing I had to come clean and explain myself, I mumbled, “it’s just I’ve never kissed anyone before”
I watched as the wheels turned in Jay’s head and I knew I had to keep talking before he decided to storm out like all the other guys I’ve tried dating, 
“I must admit, I didn’t even know cuddling could be so intimate. But I watched a bunch of youtube videos showing how it was and I was scared to do that too, but you made it so much better than I thought it would be” I word vomited. 
Jay still sat there a taken back from my admission, so I continued, 
“God, I must sound like such a virgin. Which is funny since I am one. But God, I really like you. I want to kiss you so badly, but I’m scared it won’t be good enough for you.” you continued to blabber on.
“Hey!” began Jay, cutting me off. “You being you, is plenty enough for me. If I made you uncomfortable, then we can always just continue to cuddle. I just like being around you. Your vulnerability and honesty is something I don’t see with many people I date and it’s honestly refreshing.”
Sighing, you knew the easy thing to do would be to just give up the whole kissing thing and go back to cuddling. But in your heart, you knew you should give it a try, so before you could overthink it, you heard your voice state firmly, “No! I want to kiss you!”
Smiling, Jay asked tentatively, “I want to make sure you're making a conscious decision and not just saying it because you know I want it. Are you sure you want to kiss?”
Just knowing he was taking things this slow was enough to make your heart beat so fast it felt like it would rip out of your chest. 
“Jay Halstead, I’m sure I want to kiss you!”
That must have been confirmation enough for Jay cause I watched as he shut his eyes and leaned close to my mouth, I realized maybe I should shut mine too. Not too long after that I felt his chapped lips against my own. 
Then in one swift motion I felt his tongue appear in my mouth, begging to fall down my throat. 
A few minutes had passed and Jay was still passionately attacking the back of my throat with his tongue. I opened my eyes to see his brown hair in my peripheral vision. I sorta wanted the kissing to end but didn’t know how to pull away. 
Soon enough, Jay pulled away, probably reading my mind. We looked at each other and smiled.
“How was that?” asked Jay softly.
“Good. real good, I hope I wasn’t too bad” I rushed out.
“You were perfect!” was all Jay responded with.
After that, we cuddled more until he got a call saying he was needed back at the precinct.
Thanks for reading and feel free to like/reblog and give me feedback!
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nightswithkookmin · 2 years
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Was so happy to see jimin yesterday him been so happy and bubbly.like I had missed my baby so much. hope he will be more active too. Now I don't know if am thinking too much but It seems like nowadays jimin is disconnected from the group and feels like he's not that attentive to JK like he always is. The sub unit photoshoots we got of them both were so cute they are the power duo no doubt, but noticed jm was not interacting or looking at jk as am used to seeing him doing,it feels odd and weird to me,because jk eyes were all on jm in those shots but jm was not even returning a glance,😭jk brought him close by placing his hand on jms shoulder(cute) but even JM smile seemed forced,that half smile is not his genuine smile at all and it feels odd to watch him behave like that around jk..Also in recent moments that we get to see jm,its vmin been all cute and clingy soulmates even on yesterday vlive which is cute..looks like Vmin are on their soulmate agenda again.and jm has transferred his affection to his soulmate.and completely ignoring jk.it hurts seeing jk staring at jm only for jm to not spare him a glance. I want to believe jm was going thru alot with the recent happenings regarding his invasion of privacy,but he shouldnt be pushing the only pason that loves and cares for him away,i know people handle stress differently too so am fine and i will wait for my bubbly,happy jm to return,I need my jikook babies back.
I wanna feel sad but then again it's Jimin yous talking about🤣
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I wouldn't worry much bout him. A little quiet is actually good for him. He's awfully self aware lately and is mindful of what he says and do. He comes to work, kills it and runs back to shelter. Yes as mama told him. I don't think that's particularly a bad thing. Growth perhaps.
You know he asked V if his 40 million viewers were all army?? And in the coway ad he nudged Jk to get away from the cameras when they came prying. Kook was equally self conscious holding his hands.
I don't know who else they think is watching them but it's clear there is a gaze on them they aren't, he isn't particularly comfortable with. Jungkook has that nonchalant attitude going for him but Jimin can't seem to shake it off. I mean his laugh with Tae when he asked if all the people watching them were army was quite telling. Too bad, one word and I'd obliterate any unwanted gaze in our midst. No one will know who did it.
I don't think he has an avoidant personality all through. Quite the opposite. He reaches for people to soothe when he is distressed. Which can be a sign of codependency might i say. He'd call someone to talk or get drinks with. frankly I'd say confronting himself and his thoughts all alone scares him abit as he's mentioned before. He is not an introvert. He said he'd changed from being unable to be by himself to prefering to be alone these days but yet his test results still spells out extrovert.
Seems counterintuitive for him to push his intimate partner away in such a time he might need em the most. Doesn't sound like the Jimin who sat Kook down to tell him he was feeling hella lonely.
And we've heard BTS and Jimin himself talk about how Kook is the one who shuts everyone out in times they were going through it. He's an introvert.
Introverts like to be in our minds, do tons of introspection, and frankly prefer our own company than most most times especially when we have things on our mind.
As long as Jungkook don't look like he's allergic to the air that he breathes because of Jimin or that an elephant sat on his chest as Jimin frolicks around with his imaginary rivals I'm good🤧
And I don't know about Vmin...
They have their own dynamic and it is in no way shape or form comparable to or in competition with Jikook.
Unless they are in a toxic codependent relationship, having friends outside of eachother is pretty normal, ideal and recommended. Jimin cannot fulfill all of Jungkook's emotional needs and Jungkook cannot fulfill all of Jimin's emotional needs. If they did that would be very very toxic and unsustainable cos they each would be overwhelming the other and exhausting themselves out emotionally constantly.
In a healthy relationship both partners ought to create a safe environment for the partners to not only heal their traumas but confront them and address them in a wholesome manner by encouraging eachother to learn to form healthy attachments outside of eachother- to friends, family, hobbies etc as humans by our very nature are social beings.
If Vmin are bonding it's not unusual at all. If Taekook are bonding I'd raise my brow a little bit💀 but even that I'd still think it's healthy and ten outta ten would recommend.
i felt a bit uncomfortable myself watching their unit photoshoot but i think it's because they were being asked to Jikook on demand as if their relationship is a commodity and performance to sell and entertainment others. I hate fanservice. But don't stop hybe🤧🤧🤧
If you have to tell Jungkook to put his arms around Jimin or look into his eyes- uhmmm not to be that guy but i don't like that kind of fanservice. Take it away. Their organic candid interactions- sign me up anyday and drop the bill. I'll grab it and smack it.
If he wasn't looking at Kook like he uses to- during a photoshoot- it's probably because that wasn't in the concept brief for them to be looking at each other for that photoshoot💀💀💀
I'm sure if it was part of the concept he would have jumped into his arms even😊
My man whipped up his bandana like a 70s pimp like he wasn't playing he was serving looks, firm, intoxicating, classic hood style. Babe, what babe. Gay, what gay? Honey Jiminelly 50cent takes his job pretty seriously-
But I guess the director thought a little skinship was necessary in the end for a fun playful vibe. The others were given similar directions too.
Jimin works for a living and he is damn good at his Job and when he's all serious like that earning his coins we should cut him some slack. Not everything he does is about his relationship. The context matter.
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sometimes he finna channel his inner zendaya and that's okay too.
Not all their interactions are organic. Id say this is one such inorganic fanservice moment. It doesn't mean much to me honestly whether he returns the gesture or not. What matters to me is they have great onscreen chemistry and still sold that power couple look. Jimin looked sleek and delicious i love his face bone structure and yelled daddy more times than i could count.
Still sticky and tingly whew
It's pride month yall. Leave the angst at hme
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speak of pride, should I post an analysis on Ko-fi or here🤔
I have 800 plus blog posts on here so I'm trying to pace yall. I talk too much😓
GOLDY
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gfxced · 2 years
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I think I also know why some people really don’t like me though they don’t know me at all : they can feel the social awkwardness.
Now, I’m not the person I was as a teenager, either pushing people away pretty hard or just being reclusive. I’ve since learned how to parrot social norms and I’ve done it for long enough that I’m pretty comfortable with playing that game. I’m good at articulating my points, though I might take long detours, and I shine whenever it’s a subject that I love (and I love knowing stuff so it’s hard to find a subject that I can’t have conversations about). But I’m definitely still oozing something that people pick up on. 
I believe the most important part my neurodivergence plays regarding socialisation is how rarely I deign to engage in casual pleasantries. I’m not good at small talk, of course, (though I don’t mind its mindless sentences) but just pretending to be nice for no reason is something that irks me to the bone. Being fake, if you will, is a social norm and I can’t abide by that. I can refrain from being unpleasant, but I won’t engage in those “pleasantries” just because everyone does it. (Though if their is strategic value to it, I will be more amenable, which is why in a professional setting, I definitely won’t mind doing it).
Same goes with group think. Whenever I sense that a group starts having a mind of its own, that individuals in it have shut off the little amount of working grey matter they had, I have to bail from that group. I’m profoundly asocial in that situation. I simply have a very sharply marked aversion for dogma of any kind.
Lastly, adding up on this “this guy doesn’t follow the flow” vibe that I might give off, I also very rarely let my emotions steer my thought processes. It wasn’t always like that (teenage years and early twenties were pretty rough). Whenever it happens, I see it as a lack of control, a failure of the mind and I always regret it. I’m extremely self-critical, self-aware and self-analytical. I try my best to make nuanced opinions, and let new information change my positions.
There’s also the fact that conversely, I’m also pretty decent at observing how group dynamics work, and what individuals do in those settings. My ability to quickly judge the character (meaning : intent, interests, motivations) of people stems from self-preservation. A lifetime of having to recognise if a backstab or bullying was coming or not. People are very transparent to me and it is something that they somehow perceive without being conscious of it. To them it comes as me radiating strangeness.
Maybe some of this also transpires online. Maybe that’s why I’m getting blocked a lot on here too? I checked the likes on a mutual’s post and the notes said 13 and I could only count 10.
Yes I know, despite of how I work socially, I still value being liked, curious right? I shouldn’t worry about being liked but when you’ve been put down as much as I’ve been, it’s a bad habit that’s hard to get rid off, you know?
I also worry about it because I am generally good-natured. I wouldn’t have become a pedagogue if I didn’t intrinsically value being helpful and useful to others. But that’s the part of me that requires some digging to be brought to the surface...
TL;DR I may seem weird / creepy / give off a strange vibe but I’m actually a pretty chill and agreeable person.
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itsdanii · 3 years
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Rejecting you and regretting it
genre: angst to fluff
warnings: slight cursing, rude behavior (resolved), do message me if I forgot any.
ft. sakusa kiyoomi, tsukishima kei
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Sakusa Kiyoomi
you're not oblivious to the fact that kiyoomi is a very conscious person
that's one of the things you loved about him
he was hygienic and he always made sure that his health was his utmost priority
but one downside is that kiyoomi had the tendency to push people away because of his straightforwardness
you were used to it and in fact, you were one of those people he tolerated
but everyone has their bad days
and unfortunately for you, today was kiyoomi's and since you were always attached to him by the hip, he unintentionally snapped at you
what's worse is that he snapped at you the moment you confessed to him
"Omi!" you shouted happily as you entered the gymnasium, giving Komori a small wave before making your way to where Kiyoomi was sitting.
He looked at you with a frown. He wasn't wearing a mask since they were training awhile ago and only took a quick break. "Y/n, what are you doing here?"
You sat beside him making Kiyoomi grimace and slightly move away. You frowned at him, completely displeased at the action. "I just wanted to give you a visit. Plus, I have something to tell you."
You started to fiddle with your fingers nervously. You practiced your confession several times already but doing it seemed harder than you thought.
"What is it? Talk, I'm not in the right mood to socialize right now."
Out of panic, you quickly blurted out a rather loud, "I like you!" You immediately covered your mouth with your hand and stared at him wide eyed.
The other players looked at you with sympathy, knowing what's about to happen. Out of all days, you really had to confess today, when Kiyoomi was in a pissy mood after several fangirls pushed themselves against him this morning, not minding his personal space.
Kiyoomi stared at you with a serious expression before standing up. "I don't like you. Leave."
"But Omi.."
"You're irritating and you always bother me when it is clear that I don't want your company." He turned around and left you on the bench, your head casted down in humiliation.
You whispered a small sorry before running out of the gym with tears falling from your eyes.
For the next few days, you did your very best to stay away from Kiyoomi. You changed your route to school knowing that your usual route meant that you have to pass by his house. Even if you got scolded several times for being late, you did not stop.
You sat near the door so you can easily exit the room after class. You even stopped eating with Komori and Kiyoomi during breaks and lunch. Even your usual routine of visiting the gym during practices was stopped.
At first, Kiyoomi didn't mind. He knew that you'd come back in a few days just like you always did. You like him after all, right?
But when a few days turned into weeks, He started getting bothered. Why weren't you pestering him like always? Why did you stop visiting him? You said you like him, right?
It was the second week that Kiyoomi took action. He woke up extra early to wait for you infront of your house, aiming to confront you about your behavior.
When you went out, your eyes widened slightly upon seeing Kiyoomi waiting for you outside. He was wearing his face mask while staring at you intently, letting you know that he purposely waited for you.
You looked down and was about to walk pass him when you felt him tugging on your wrist. Your gaze snapped to his hand, not believing that he was indeed touching your skin.
"Sakusa?"
His eye twitched at the weirdness of you not calling him like usual. Sighing, he stepped a little closer to you, hand still holding your wrist to ensure that you won't run away from him.
"You're ignoring me," he said while eyeing you. "Why?"
You took your hand from him and furrowed your brows. "I'm just doing you a favor. I don't want to be a bother anymore. Isn't this what you wanted?"
"I-"
"It's fine, Sakusa. You don't have to force yourself to apologize just because you feel bad or obliged to."
He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "I'm not apologizing because I feel bad."
"Then what? You're apologizing just to make fun of me? I know I said I like you but that doesn't mean that you have the right to-"
"You don't get it!"
At this point, you were both raising your voices. Some passersby were looking at you two weirdly, some even running as to not get caught up in the fight.
"Get what, Sakusa? Why don't you tell me so I can understand?!"
"I like you!" Kiyoomi exclaimed. "I... Fuck. I like you, okay? I wasn't in the mood when you confessed and I rejected you without thinking. I messed up. The moment I saw you walk out, I knew I fucked up real bad and I-"
"Om-"
"And I thought that you'd come back the next day to bother me again like usual. I wanted to apologize but my pride-"
You sighed as he continued to ramble. With fast movements, you stood on your tiptoes and encircled your arms around his neck to pull him down to you, kissing him over his mask.
When you let go, Kiyoomi was silent. His eyes were wide and you thought that you went over board. Panic made its way to your face as you try to find the words to explain.
"Sorry, I didn't me-"
This time, he was the one to cut you off. Kiyoomi took off his mask and bent down to kiss you on your lips. One of his arms snaked around your waist to support you while the other settled on your nape, angling you to him.
"Be my s/o."
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Tsukishima Kei
Everyone in Karasuno knew how much you like Tsukishima
In fact, you remind him everyday
You often give him fresh strawberries from the market and even bake him strawberry cake
Sometimes, you would put little sticky notes on his belongings and write some encouraging words like "you can do it", "I believe in you" or "take it easy!"
On his birthday, you even gave him a hoodie with a dino design (which he secretly loved)
There are times that you knew Tsukishima gets irritated when you visit and even snaps at you but you didn't mind. You liked him and a small snap will not discourage you
But what you didn't know was that it would only take one conversation to completely shatter your heart
"-And they're back," Sugawara said as he saw you enter the gym, a bubbly smile present on your face as usual.
"Kei!" You skipped your way towards Tsukishima and handed him his water bottle which you voluntarily refilled with hot water.
He only gave you a 'tsk' and took the water bottle. Adjusting his glasses, he stared at you from head to toe as if analyzing you, a small blush appearing on his cheeks.
"What are you looking at? Have you finally come to realize that you like me back?" you cheekily asked, poking his bicep.
"No. I was just wondering how someone could look so ugly."
Despite what he said, you forced yourself to giggle, covering your upset feeling with an eye roll. "Oh shut up, Kei. You don't have to hide it, you know? Don't worry, I'm not going to reject you."
You winked at him causing Tsukishima to blush even more.
The rest of the boys snickered and laughed at his reaction which made Tsukishima more embarrassed than he already is.
"Just confess to the girl already, Tsukishima. Can't you see she's trying hard to win you?" Daichi said with a small chuckle while patting Tsukishima's back.
Tsukishima just huffed and pushed his glasses up. "What's there to like? They're nothing but an eyesore anyway."
"What?" you asked in disbelief.
Having a playful banter with Tsukishima was normal in your routine but this was the first time he called you such an offensive term. Does he really think of you that way?
"Oh come on, stop acting dumb. I don't even get why there are guys running after you. I mean, there's really nothing much to look at, right?"
Everyone grew quiet at what he said, clearly not expecting Tsukishima to be at such level of rudeness.
You swallowed the lump forming in your throat as your insecurity skyrocketed. "I try hard every single day to look presentable to you. I-"
You paused for a moment to laugh pathetically at yourself. "I exert a lot of effort to make you notice me. I cook for you, I give you gifts. Heck, I even stay after class to help clean the gym so that the task would be easier for you and I'm not even asking for anything in return."
Tsukishima glared at you sharply that you immediately felt extremely smaller than him. "I never asked you to do those things for me."
"Can't you at least show me that you care?" You wiped your tears with the back of your hand. "Because I'm slowly getting tired of this push and pull game."
"Don't you get it? I don't like you. Why don't you stop pushing yourself to me and start getting a life, hm?"
"Tsukishima, that's enough!" you heard Daichi yell at him.
"Y/n?" Sugawara was immediately beside you, his hand rubbing circles on your back in attempt to calm you down.
"No-" You lifted your face up to meet Tsukishima's eyes. "I think he's right. I should stop being a nuisance and focus on myself."
"I'll leave you alone. I'm sorry," you said before giving Tsukishima a bow and leaving the gym with everyone's eyes following your figure until the door shut.
Everyone could only look at Tsukishima as he cursed under his breath.
"Shit."
The moment you left the gym, you headed straight to the comfort room to let your tears out. You stared at yourself on the mirror as tears cascaded down your cheeks.
"You're beautiful," you reassured yourself while pointing at your own reflection. "What he said doesn't make you any less. Know your worth."
You wiped your tears and splashed your face with cold water before getting out and heading to class without sparing Tsukishima any glance.
You ignored Tsukishima, stopped visiting the gym and focused on yourself. You even made made friends with some of your classmates that you didn't bother getting associated with last time because you were too focused on capturing the attention of Tsukishima.
Unbeknownst to you, a certain male was eyeing you as you interact with other people. He blamed himself for pushing you away. He didn't talk to you, thinking that you only wanted space for a couple days before bothering him again.
He knew that what he said was out of line and he regret everything he did. He even asked Yamaguchi and the rest of the team for advice but all of them responded with the same answer - apologize and tell you how he feels.
Tsukishima gripped the pen tightly as he watched you laughing at something your classmate said. The said classmate was too close to you and it was obvious that he was trying to flirt with you.
"Tsukki?" Yamaguchi called out. He followed Tsukishima's gaze and sighed. "Why don't you go and talk to them?"
"Tsk. Why would I do that? Can't you see they're enjoying his company?" Tsukishima bitterly said.
"You'll end up losing them if you don't do something about it now. Who knows, they might already be lo-" Yamaguchi stopped as Tsukishima instantly stood up and made his way to where you are.
Taking your wrist, he pulled you towards him, heading out of the classroom.
"Tsukishima, what the hell?!" You tried to resist but his grip on your wrist only tightened.
You gasped as he suddenly stopped, trapping you against a wall with his arms beside your head.
"I'm sorry." Tsukishima closed his eyes, balling his fist as he bowed his head. "I said hurtful words to you and no amount of apology will take those away but I want you to know that I regret every single one of it."
You bit your lower lip as you felt yourself tearing up once again. "Do you really think that I'm ugly? I was hurt, Kei. It's just.."
"I'm sorry." His hand made its way to your cheek, cupping your face while he wiped your tears with his thumb. "You're not ugly."
You shook your head and averted your gaze from him, a sob escaping your lips as you felt yourself falling for him deeper. "Don't. Just stop. I'll accept your apology but please just leave me be. I won't be able to stop my feelings for you if you keep leading me on."
"But I don't want you to stop."
"What?"
"I've fallen for you." He tipped your chin up with his hand making you look at him and you were surprised to see the vulnerability in his features. "Please look at me again, y/n. Keep loving me because I swear that I'll do things different this time. Give me a chance."
You can't help but encircle your arms around him, burrying your face on the side of his neck as you nodded repeatedly. "One chance, Kei."
Tsukishima hugged you tightly, lips pressing on the side of your head. "One chance." He leaned away from you and held your face with his hand, eyes boring to yours admiringly.
"You're beautiful."
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Likes and reblogs are appreciated ❤️
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astaroth1357 · 3 years
Note
Hello I really love your writing. I’m glad that you decided to open requests for a bit. I have a personal headcanon that the boys are a lot nicer to MC then they are to everyone else. Could you do a headcanon of the boys being out with MC and they are talking with MC happily. Then a lesser demon sees them with MC and says that the seven brothers have gone weak and they aren’t scared of them anymore. Thank you again!!! 😖 (Also the way you write Levi is great)
Aww thank you!! Levi's kind of my favorite character (if that hasn't become painfully obvious) so I try to write him well, you know? This one was a little hard for me to write because I just have a hard time imagining Asmo and Beel as something intimidating to the masses, but I tried my best! I hope you like it!
Lesser Demons Think the Brothers have "Gone Soft…"
Lucifer
If anybody had something to lose by acting sweet on a lowly human, it was Lucifer. His entire image was built on the back of power and intimidation, so really who didn't see this coming?
He knew there were whispers… Mostly in the RAD hallways. Students would see him with the MC and gossip amongst themselves… 
"Did you see them together again in the courtyard?"
"How did some random human even score a pact with him??"
"And I used to seriously look up to him, too…"
He'd always silence their chitchat with a well placed glare, but this was a symptom of something more… troubling. A decay of his social image if you will.
Perhaps it speaks to how well and truly enamored he was with the MC that this proud creature didn't just dump them the second he started looking bad, but still… a part of him really couldn't stand for this...
So maybe it was a blessing in disguise when he finally got an excuse to establish his superiority yet again!
He and the MC were walking the halls of RAD after school hours and they had just made an amusing joke at the expense of of his brothers. Unfortunately, Lucifer collided into a lesser demon student while he was laughing…
On most occasions, he would have expected someone of such station to pay him deference then offer an apology - they had just ran into Lucifer after all - but the student just scoffed at him!
Lesser Demon: "Oi! Watch where you're going, Lucifer! Or were you too busy sucking up to that human to notice?"
This… was maybe not the best response to have (if the "Oh shit" look on the MC's face was any indication) but for as annoyed as Lucifer was, he was also somewhat delighted.
Finally, he had the perfect messenger for just how cruel he could still be!
Lucifer: "MC, feel free to go home without me for now and tell my brothers to save my dinner for later…" *starts pulling out his favorite rope with a cold, but pleased, smile on his face* "I have a feeling I'll be home late tonight..."
The MC left him and his unfortunate victim to their fate and Lucifer later came home in the night with his uniform in a bad need of cleaning...
A new body decorated the RAD entrance hall the next morning - swinging from the ceiling and making an awful mess on the floor - but still alive enough give a very important message to the rest of the students:
"Lucifer hasn't changed a bit…"
Mammon
So, not even lesser demons see Mammon as some kind of high-ranking badass… 
Just to be clear, he is, but it’s hard for him to come off that way when he's begging for his next Grimm... Then enter MC into the picture and he somehow lost even MORE cred.
"There goes poor Mammon… Did you hear he got tricked into a pact?"
"Just look at him nipping at the human's heels! How pathetic is that??"
"Well that's Mammon for you… What a shit excuse for a demon."
Like Lucifer, Mammon wasn’t immune to the whispers, but unlike his brother he was able to push them mostly out of his mind. People look down on him? Yeah, what else is new?
To be honest, he didn’t really feel the need to prove anything to a bunch of lesser demon losers… But insulting his MC takes things a step too far.
He and the MC were out at the Devil's Coast, "enjoying" some of the haunted house attractions and generally having a good time…ish. 
Any time they managed to make it out of one, the MC would have to peel Mammon off their back and hold him to assure him they were back to safety (a process he seemed to like enough to repeat the horror that precedes it).
It was during one of these calm down sessions that the two were accosted by a couple of snickering lesser demons, clearly looking for a fight…
Lesser Demon 1: "Hey look! There's the 'Great' Mammon and his little master!"
Lesser Demon 2: "Guess the master fits the demon… Of course someone like Mammon couldn't even score a pact with Solomon and gets stuck with the weakling!"
Lesser Demon 1: "Well how's the babysitting going, Mams? I bet you can't wait for them to kill over, can ya?"
Lesser Demon 2: "Careful! With his luck, they'll probably get eaten by the end of next week! Haha!!"
Now… an important thing to know about Mammon is that you can fling all the mud and stones you'd like at him… but never at his MC. That's just asking for a bruising...
Mammon: *smiling like usual, but his eyes are practically burning with rage...* "Yo, MC… I'm gettin' a little hungry. Can ya go find us a snack over there? I'll meet ya in a bit…"
MC: "Mammon, are you-?"
Mammon: "Don’t worry 'bout me, babe." *takes his glasses off and flashes a fanged grin* "This is'a piece of cake."
And indeed, it wasn't difficult at all. No matter how fast those demons ran, they could never out speed Mammon and he was looking to give more than a warning…
The MC didn't know what he did while they were waiting in line, but they heard the sounds of pleading go silent before Mammon turned back up with a nice bruise on his cheek. Oh, how they fretted and dotted on him…
Meanwhile, the haunted houses just earned themselves a couple new mannequins!… when rigor sets in anyway.
Leviathan 
Levi has a… mixed reputation in the Devildom to start with. People who only know him for his titles usually expect him to be some kind of sea-hardened badass. Those who meet him are… well let's say less than impressed.
This isn't anything new to Levi. It does take a blow to his confidence sometimes but even still most people aren't dumb enough to say something to his face… most people.
Unfortunately, "most people" have been getting bolder after seeing him with MC - because Demon Lord forbid Leviathan actually look happy for a change…
He and the MC were out and about for once. There was a raffle for exclusive merch at Anidaemon and he brought them along to boost his chances. They were grinning and chatting about anime but well…
The human couldn’t hear this, but he could - sensitive demon ears and all that. There were a couple guys who were tailing him… heckling him just loud enough that he was CERTAIN they knew he could hear them...
Lesser Demon 1: "Is that seriously Leviathan hanging out with a human? Isn’t he an Admiral??"
Lesser Demon 2: "Ha! The whole family's turned into simps, are you that surprised?"
Lesser Demon 1: "Wonder what the human's giving them that's got them all brainwashed…"
Lesser Demon 2: "Well... I've got an idea." 😏
If there were ever a reason for bile to fill his throat, it was now. He might be a shut-in, but those guys were the real creeps…
To be honest, Levi isn't one for public confrontation. Even with how gross and disrespectful those demons were being, he would have let it slide if they had just left it at that… but no…
He and the MC were browsing the ani-music racks in the store when those idiots popped up again. They hovered a while until they MC suddenly left his side to go find a store clerk.
When he saw the other demons move their direction, he naturally put himself between them and the would-be harassers. It was a little telling that despite his ticked off expression, the demons just laughed in his face!
Lesser Demon 2: "Hey look, the puppy's come out to protect its owner! How cute!"
Lesser Demon 1: "I can't believe you're that predictable, Levi… Do you really think we'd be scared of you?"
Well. That settled it.
When the MC came back, they found that Levi had moved from the music racks to the merch tables near the bathrooms. They didn't think anything of it… but...
One body was paralyzed by his venom and stuffed head first in a toilet while the other getting strangled by his tail just underneath the tablecloth… Meanwhile, Levi was cheerfully rambling about the raffle like nothing was happening at all.
Maybe they should have been a little more scared of the shut-in...
Satan
This may actually be a case where the rumors have a point… The MC has made Satan "soft."
Well, if "soft" means actually in control of himself, anyway. 
Satan would probably call their effect on him both a blessing and a curse. Though he loved finally having a handle on his inner rage, it flew in the face of a lot of his public image… and people were starting to notice….
"Do you think there's something off about Satan…?"
"I saw the human step on his toes earlier and he didn't even flinch…! The old Satan would have torn them apart!!"
"He's gotten way too nice all of sudden… Wrath shouldn't be nice."
Was it a little frustrating? Certainly. Especially for someone as image conscious as him. But for as calm as he was now, Satan wasn’t any less cruel and he'd be more than happy to remind others of that fact….
His chance came when he and the MC were together having just left the local art gallery. The two were exchanging a healthy dialogue about a curious sculpture they saw on display when a latte suddenly went soaring through the air and ended up all over Satan's sweater… The culprit was plain to see, being the only other demon on the road that night.
Whether the act was intentional or not, the correct course of action would have been to apologize immediately and beg for mercy forgiveness… but all the demon did was laugh in his face…
Maybe he thought that since Satan had mellowed out and his human was right beside him that he'd be lenient… Oh no. Not gonna happen.
Satan's fist slammed into the guy's mouth with the force of a jetliner and knocked him over two benches before his back bent over a lamppost… To say it was a KO move would be an understatement.
He probably could have done a whole lot worse to the guy while he was down, but you know… the MC being there and "self-control" and what not…
The demon survived (barely) and only had to spend a few months in the hospital, if anything he got off light.
Not a soul would gloss over Satan's temper again and really he preferred it that way.
Asmodeus 
Well, to be fair not a lot of people thought that Asmo was tough to start with… but that's also his intention.
"Scary" is the opposite of "cute" and he prefers to be "cute" at all times! 😊
Buuut that doesn’t mean this scorpion is without a stinger. He CAN be quite brutal when he wants to be, you just have to push him that far and trashing his looks is a good way to start.
Asmo was out with the MC getting his hair done for the week at his favorite salon. They weren't the only people there that day, obviously. There were other customers - one being a lesser demon classmate of theirs - though neither he nor the MC thought much of him at the time...
Well… It was supposed to be a prank. Probably something the guy intended to use for social media clout. While the staff was too busy to notice, he snuck by and replaced Asmo's preferred conditioner with pink hair dye…
Asmo. Was. Furious. And honestly, the dude could have gotten away with it if he hadn't been laughing and recording the whole thing!
When Asmo's ire naturally fell onto him, he hardly looked fazed!
Lesser Demon: "Ah, please! You won't do shit to me with the human still around! You don't want to look any uglier to them do ya?"
Asmo: *freezes, but still furiously eyeing every sharp instrument within arm’s reach* "MC? Darling?"
MC: "Got it..."
Perhaps the prankster should have kept his mouth shut, because suddenly the MC needed to take a looong bathroom break…
They didn't come back out until they heard the sounds of screeching and broken glass finally die down and then they stepped back into a warzone… Broken mirrors and items seemingly flung everywhere in a fit of rage! The guy (and his phone) now nowhere to be seen…
The salon comped Asmo for the botched hair job and touch up… and then billed Lucifer for the property damage (which he got an earful about later). On the bright side though, Asmo actually looks pretty great with pink hair! Silver-linings. 🙂
Beelzebub 
… The concept of Beel "going soft" is almost an oxymoron. He IS soft, but his personality was never what made him intimidating to start with.
Behind all his kindness, Beel packs more firepower than at least 4 for his siblings combined and most people remember that fact. Hell, the guy looks like he could lift a semi and he probably would if he ever tried. 
However, that doesn’t save him from being underestimated completely... Especially when an upstart or two thinks he's too nice to actually start a fight...
He and the MC were coming back from the grocery store with the usual armfuls of sacks when the MC accidentally walked into a lesser demon on the street. Since their arms were full, several items spilled out from the bags and onto the ground…
The MC was quick to apologize to the demon and try to get down to clean the mess, but the asshole just kept walking… and Beel really didn't like that.
Beel: "Hey! Aren't you going to say, 'Sorry?'"
The lesser demon hardly looked over his shoulder to respond.
Lesser Demon: "Why should I? That's your human. Take care of them yourself."
Well it didn't take long for some of Beel's bags to hit the floor so he could lift the demon up by the back of the neck properly. When he turned the guy to face him, he made sure to bring his face reeaal close so he could hear him growl...
Beel: "Apologize. Or I'll eat you."
And like that, the asshole's mood went from "Do it yourself," to "Yessir Mr. Beelzebub, sir!" right quick!
The MC didn't have to carry a single bag another step and Beel got to keep his free hand so he could link it with theirs!... all while Beel kept mushing their new pack-mule forward like a sled dog back to the House. Thanks, Beel! 😊
Belphegor 
Kind of similar to Asmo, Belphie prefers to come off as unassuming on most days. But don't let his, "I'm a harmless sleepy boy" shtick fool you. He will cut a bitch if he's so motivated...
Thankfully for the world, he's generally not motivated. But that can be changed under the right circumstances...
Belphie and the MC were on yet another date to the botanical gardens. It's a peaceful place, though the MC can never go alone because of the frankly concerning amount of flesh-eating plants… Pretty, but also deadly, you know?
The two of them were walking to another rest spot when Belphie heard whispering from a demon behind them, seemingly on his phone…
Lesser Demon: “Yeah, I can see them right now…”
Lesser Demon: “I know right? It's so lame that these guys are in charge of us… They can't even say no to a dumb human!”
Lesser Demon: “What do you mean keep my voice down? Dude, it's fine! This is Belphegor we're talking about, the hell is he going to do if he hears me?”
… Huh.
The answer to the man's question was a simple one. Flash into his demon form for just a moment and whip out his tail... It only took a quick swipe to make him trip and fall right into the foliage. The man-eating… carnivorous… hungry… foliage….
Belphie was back to normal by the time the jerk let out his first scream and the MC almost stopped to see what had happened.
MC: "What the-oh my God!! Should we help-??”
Belphie: *puts his hands on their shoulders to keep them moving, not even glancing back* “Someone else will take care of it. Let's see the roses.”
Even when the desperate cries for help became distant, it took all Belphie had to stifle a smile…
Sometimes, you've got to love irony. 🤷‍♀️😏
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heavenlyhischier · 3 years
Text
only when you're high - rafe cameron
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word count: 4.3k
summary: Rafe only ever talks to you when he's high, and you've eventually had enough.
warnings: angst i guess, language, mentions of drugs and alcohol, lil makeout sesh at the end
note: ik this isn't the request but i've been working on this for a while so here ya go <3 this is def not my best writing so dont judge it too harshly
3:53 a.m.
You had been dreaming about your cat taking over a world full of people with fish heads when the incessant ringing from your phone jolted you awake. You blindly flung your hand onto the nightstand, knocking over a half empty water bottle and a bottle of ibuprofen before your fingers grazed the cool screen. You picked up the device, nearly blinding yourself when you opened your eyes to see who was calling you at such an ungodly hour. Once your eyes adjusted to the screen’s brightness, the name ‘Stupid Kook’ was displayed across the top. You hesitantly swiped to answer.
“What in the flying fuck do you want,” You whisper yelled, propping your half-conscious body up with your elbow.
“Hey, baby,” He greeted, his voice dragging as if he was thinking too hard about his words. “Just wanted to hear your voice.”
You stopped breathing for a moment, not sure what you were supposed to say to his weird revelation. You had been having a weird thing with Rafe for a few months now. After many drinks, you would often finding yourself making out with him in a secluded area. Despite your random make out sessions, he had never once called you to simply hear your voice. In fact, he hadn’t even called you before. It was usually always a quick ‘wyd’ text at midnight and nothing more.
“That’s weird, you’ve never called me before,” You pointed out, “You’ve also never called me baby before, so what’s that about?”
“Mm, I don’t know. Always wanted to call you that before so why not? What are you up to, baby,” He asked, his words slurring together in a way that could only happen while under the influence.
“You’re high aren’t you,” You sighed. Of course, he was high. You should have known that from the get-go. Rafe Cameron wouldn’t have called you sober; he never even looked at you sober.
A brief silence hung over the line, Rafe’s heavy breathing being the only thing coming through the receiver. “Maybe a little. Had a rough day, so I went to see Barry and now I’m at Topper’s. Talking to you.”
You couldn’t help but let a small smile grace your features; a smile that was gone almost as soon as it came. You let your elbow fall from its position, your head falling back onto the pillow that was still warm from when you were asleep. “How sweet of you. What are you doing, anyways? Shouldn’t you be getting shitfaced and taking some innocent girl to bed?”
He let out an airy laugh before speaking. “The only one I’d like to take to bed is you, and we somehow always stop before it gets to that point. Anyways, it’s just me, Topper, and Kelce, and I started thinking about us in the back of my truck when we were outside. Before I knew what I was doing, you answered the phone.”
Your cheeks flared red as images of Rafe’s hands exploring your body flashed through your mind, the feeling of his ring on your skin igniting something inside of you. His mouth latching onto the sensitive spots of your neck as your moans filled his truck. You let your fingers ghost over your lips as if you could still feel his own on yours. More memories of him exploring your body in every way but the way you wanted him most were running through your mind. Every time you wanted to give in to him, give in to your urges, but you couldn’t.
“You know, I’ve never wanted someone as much as I want you and I hate it,” He started, his words still slow, “I hate it because you’ll never let me have you.”
“Rafe,” You groaned, running a hand over your tired face, “I don’t really feel like giving myself to someone who only talks to me when they’re drunk or high. Someone who would rather be caught dead than with a pouge.”
“You know it’s not like that, baby. It’s complicated,” He tried, and you could tell there was a hint of unfamiliar panic in his voice.
“It always is. Guess I’ll see or talk to you next time you get fucked up. Goodnight Rafe,” You whispered before hanging up on the boy, ignoring his desperate protests.
1:38 a.m.
You turned the shower water off before stepping out onto the cool tiled floor, water dripping from every part of your body. You chose to ignore the buzzing coming from your phone, moving to grab the towel hung on the back of your bathroom door. However, the buzzing started again as you were drying off your legs.
“Who the fuck,” You groaned as you wrapped the towel around your still wet body. ‘Stupid Kook’ was making a second appearance, much to your surprise. “Yes, Rafe?”
“What’s up your ass,” He laughed his infectious laugh. You could picture him throwing his head back and his glazed over eyes twinkling with amusement, something you had only seen when you found yourself admiring him from afar.
“Nothings up my ass. Just don’t know what your high ass wants this time.” You gripped your phone in your hand and started to walk back towards your room. Your parents had fallen asleep hours ago, so you had to make sure you were quiet. However, that deemed difficult in the darkest hours of the night in your already poorly lit house. You bumped your hip and stubbed your toe on just about anything that was out in the open. Once you were in your room, you hastily shut the door and flipped the light switch on.
“Hello! Hello! Hello! Where are you,” Rafe yelled, making you wince and pull the phone away from your ear.
“Jesus, dude. Calm down, I was walking back to my room,” You chastised, doing your best to hold your phone in between your ear and shoulder.
“What were you doing? I missed you,” He pouted.
You ignored the swelling you got in your heart and said, “I was leaving the bathroom. I just finished showering. What are you doing?”
You grabbed a clean pair of underwear and a shirt you had taken from JJ after you had thrown up over whatever you were wearing that night. Rafe began telling you what he was doing, which was quite literally nothing. However, he quickly dove into a spout of how you were naked and wet and how badly he wanted to see you without any clothes on. Your cheeks were burning as he went on and on about all of the sinful things he wanted to do to you. You let him ramble on a bit more as you turned the light off once you were clothed and ready for bed.
“Okay, that’s enough, Rafe,” You stopped him, pulling your blanket back so you could crawl in bed. “So, calling me two times within a week? You falling in love with me?”
It was so painfully obvious that it was a joke, but you could practically feel the tension radiating through your phone from Rafe’s end. His abrupt silence concerned you because this boy was far from silent when he was doped out.
“Maybe I am,” He finally got out, and you couldn’t detect any sarcasm in it.
“Sure you are,” You rolled your eyes, blaming exhaustion for briefly clouding your judgment, “If you were in love with me, you’d actually talk to me when you aren’t too fucked to remember your own name.”
You started picking at a loose thread on your blanket as you let your mind wander to what life would be life if you had an actual relationship with Rafe. Going to parties with him. Hanging around the Island Club with him and his friends. Him doing lines off your body before having his way with you.
“I will talk to you when I’m not high,” His voice broke you from your thoughts, “If that’s what you really want.”
“I do,” You said way too quickly, “I mean, yeah sure. That would be nice, I guess.”
“Just text me and I’ll answer.” You couldn’t stifle the yawn that escaped your lips, but you did try and hide it from Rafe. Your attempt was no good, though. “You’re tired, go to bed.”
“No, I’m fi-.”
“Goodnight, Y/N,” Rafe shouted over you, “Talk to you soon, baby.”
Rafe’s name popped up on your phone screen every few days after he had gotten drunk out of his mind or too high to do anything other than find your contact. You didn’t mind it at first, but after you had texted him during the day and those messages went unanswered, you grew hurt and annoyed. You had tried asking him why he wouldn’t respond, but he always found a way to change the subject. You wanted to ask him about it in person, but you hadn’t seen him in almost a month. You wanted to ask him why he couldn’t bother to pick up the phone when he was sober, but wasted no time in calling you as soon as he got his bump in.
One of the nights he called, you offered to have him come over because your parents were gone, but he said no. Made up some excuse about how he was staying with Topper for a while since Sarah cheated on him and he wanted to be there for his friend. You understood that, so you didn’t push him after that. Then, the next time you told him about a party everyone was going to and how you wanted to see him there. You even told him to bring the other two. That time he told you he was staying away from parties for a while, wanting to stay to himself for the most part due to the constant stress from his dad. You knew how Ward could be sometimes, so it wasn’t hard to believe him and move on from there.
You wanted to be mad to him for only acknowledging you when he was high, but you couldn’t be. You’ve always wanted to feel wanted by somebody, and he made you feel like that albeit only when he was far gone from reality. You could deal with it as long as you got to talk to him, no matter how insecure it made you. Well, you thought you could.
2:25
Your parents were gone for the night, so you opted to watch Marvel movies in the living room. You were so invested in watching Iron Man and shoving popcorn in your mouth that you didn’t feel your phone go off the first six times. Or the fifteen times after that. Not that you would have cared either way. You knew the only person it could be was the boy who never wanted you sober. The credits began rolling across the TV, so you finally decided to pick up your discarded phone. You were shocked to see Rafe had called you eight times and texted you thirteen. Overall, his texts said the same thing.
Why aren’t u answering me :(
Call me pls
I wanna talk to you baby
It was if he knew you were finally looking at your phone because his contact popped up not ten seconds later. You rolled your eyes, but reluctantly answered.
“Y/N! Where have you been,” He whined into the receiver, “I’ve been trying to call you for like two hours.”
“Watching movies,” Your words were sharp and short, not particularly wanting to talk to him right now. You’ve nearly reached your breaking point with him.
Rafe could immediately tell something was off with you by the way you sounded. “What’s wrong, baby? Are you okay?”
You took a deep breath in, setting your bowl of popcorn on the coffee table after you paused the end credit scene. You leaned forwards and planted your elbow on your knee as you held your head in annoyance.
“I’m fine, Rafe. I’m just getting fed up with you only wanting to talk to me when you’re high or drunk,” You started, “I used to be fine with it because it once every couple of weeks, but now it’s almost every day and it’s annoying. You told me to text you when you’re sober, and I did, but you never responded. I try and offer to come over to you or have you come to me, but you always have an excuse. I know you want to be there for Topper and you don’t really want to be around anyone right now, but that doesn’t mean I have to put up with it.”
“Y/N, I know, and I’m sorry. It’s just-It’s complicated. Please understand that,” He was practically begging you to listen to him.
“Rafey, are you coming back to play beer pong with us,” A female voice suddenly cut through the sudden sound of music.
Your breathing stopped and your heart felt like it was being squeezed by Rafe’s own hand. A wave of heartbreak crashed over your entire body. “‘I just don’t want to be around anyone’ huh? Thought you were just spending time with Topper for a while? You know, if you didn’t want to see me, all you had to do was say so,” You whimpered, hurt now mixing with your anger and annoyance.
“No, wait,” He tried, yelling at whoever came in the room to get out, “Y/N, please. It isn’t lik-“
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence. It is like that, Rafe. It is exactly like that. You don’t want to see me, and that is fine. I get it. Why would you ever want to be seen with someone from the Cut? It doesn’t matter, though. Don’t call me anymore. You lied to me. That is not something that I can forgive,” Your tears were too strong to hold back now, “I don’t care for liars, Rafe Cameron, and you’re the biggest one of all.”
You quickly hung up and turned off your phone, throwing it towards the end of the couch so you weren’t tempted to grab it. You grabbed the large blanket from the back of the couch, picked another movie, and let your tears fall as it played in front of you.
“Honey,” Your moms gentle voice broke through, “You fell asleep on the couch.”
You slowly opened your eyes, letting them adjust to the bright light shining through the giant window. The headache hit you like a ton of brinks, causing you to squeeze your eyes shut in pain. Your mom was hovering over you, her hand on your shoulder and her soft eyes pretending to not notice how puffy your cheeks and red your eyes are.
“I guess so,” You mumbled, pushing yourself up into a sitting position, “I’ll go lay down in my room. I’m still tired.”
She gave you an understanding nod with a caring smile and helped you off the couch. Her hand lingered on your back as if she wanted to say something to you, but she decided to leave it alone for now. You would talk to her when you were ready, if you ever were. You gave her a thumbs up when she told you her and your father would be out again most of the day.
Your feet dragged as you stumbled back to your room, using the wall to keep you steady. You pushed the door open with your foot and gave your cat, who was laying on your bed as if she owned it, a stupid smile. You fell onto the bed and pulled her onto your chest as you turned your phone back on. You were scared to confront the actions from last night, but knowing Rafe, he probably wouldn’t have bothered to even send you a text about it. You were quickly proven wrong the moment your phone turned back on. The vibration from all of the texts, voicemails, and snapchats felt like it lasted for five straight minutes. Nearly all were from the boy you wanted nothing to do with. Although, you noticed a voicemail from Topper, who you forgot even had your number.
Um, hey its Topper. Look dude, I don’t know what happened, but Rafe is freaking out like a bitch right now. He keeps mumbling shit about how he fucked things up with, which I didn’t even know you two were a thing but whatever I don’t really care. He kicked everyone out of my house and has been calling and texting you for like thirty minutes straight now so please call him back, so he shuts the fuck up. If not for him, do it for my sanity before I kill him. Uh, yeah, thanks, bye.
You sighed deeply after the voicemail cut off, your heart rate increasing at the thought of Rafe being upset. If he was bad enough that Topper of all people called you, you knew it was bad. You wanted to not care because of how he made you feel, but you did. You’ve always cared about the blond boy more than you cared to admit. You finally decided to look at the messages he sent you.
Y/N pls call me back
I’m sorry its not what it looks like and I know that sounds stupid but its true
Pls talk to me. I need u to talk to me
I promise that I never wanted to hurt u ok???
I love you, Y/N. Please call me or I’m coming to your house tomorrow.
The world stopped spinning when you read the last message. You kept reading it over and over again as if you misread it the first time. Rafe had never been any kind of affectionate with you until he called you baby. Rafe Cameron was not someone known to get emotional, so you weren’t sure if you believed his words. He was a liar and would do anything to get what he wanted, so what was different now?
You heard a knock on the door followed by your moms muffled voice, but you were too focused on the situation in front of you to notice who it was. Your eyes were glued to the screen, staring at the three words you never thought anyone other than your family and friends would say to you. The world around you was fading away, your heart feeling as if it was going to beat out of your chest as tears slid down your still puffy cheeks. You weren’t going to let him do this to you. You weren’t going to let him toy with you anymore.
“Y/N,” A deep voice dragged you out of your subconscious.
Your eyes darted over to the door and saw the last person you wanted to see. Rafe was standing there, his eyes wide and blood shot and he looked like total shit. His hair was a wild mess, nothing like its usual tamed state. You met his gaze and you wished you hadn’t. One look from him and you were puddy in his hands. One look and every thought you had about never seeing him again flew out the window.
“Hey, can we talk,” He mumbled, his bright blue eyes looking everywhere but at you. “Please.”
Not trusting your words, you gave him a swift nod and gestured to the spot next to you on your bed. You leaned to the side and placed your cat on the ground, watching as she rubbed herself all over Rafe’s leg before scampering away. His walk to your bed was painfully slow, and you wanted to tell him to hurry up, but you knew that was unreasonable.
“What do you want, Rafe,” Your voice was harsh, trying to ignore the urge to reach out to him. “What do you want to talk about? How you only use me for your own pleasure? How you only ever even look at me when you’re drunk or high? How you lied to me? Wanna talk about that?”
Your anger surprised even yourself. One second you wanted to hold him in your arms and comfort him, but then the memory of how he treated you came back and flipped a switch in your brain. You don’t know how you feel and you hate it.
“I deserve every bit of your anger,” He breathed out, letting his hand fall dangerously close to your own, “But please let me explain everything to you, okay?”
“Fine,” You gave in, “Talk.”
“Yeah, thank you, okay. I really do want to talk to you when I’m not absolutely fucked, I do. I know that it doesn’t seem like that, but its true. I just, I can’t. Every time I look at you, think about you, I hear my dads voice screaming at me that I will never be good enough for anyone. I have this thought drilled into my head every day that no matter what I do, who I am, I am just never enough. To me, you’re no exception to that. In fact, you remind me even more. Wait no.”
Rafe rubbed both of his hands over his face and tugged at his hair, afraid that he’s already fucking this up. “Rafe,” You gently spoke up, turning to grab his hands from his face. “It’s fine. Keep going.”
His eyes met yours and you could see how strained he was. There were too many emotions swirling in his eyes for you to pinpoint exactly what he was feeling. “Okay, um, okay. To me, you are way too good for me, so the only time I feel comfortable talking to you is when I’m high. I’ve never had trouble talking to any girl before, but you’re more than that to me. You’re more than just some girl to me and it scares me, so I feel like I have to be, yanno, not me. When I talk to you. I want to be with you more than I have ever wanted to be with someone in my life”
Your hand was still holding his as you let his words sink in. Him revealing how his dad truly made him feel made your heart ache for him. It made you want to grab him by the face and tell him how he is more than good enough. You wanted to let him in, but you weren’t sure if you were ready for the risk that came along with it. You’re not sure if you want all the things that came with being with Rafe Cameron. He’s followed by hurt and lies, and you do feel guilty thinking that, but it’s been proven true countless times.
“Rafe, listen to me,” You began, moving so you were straddling him and holding his face in your hands. His hands immediately came to grip your hips, and you are well aware that this was a more than compromising situation. “I understand that your father is probably the worst person we both know, but that doesn’t excuse you lying to me. I don’t know if I can trust you, no matter how much I may want to.”
You watched as tears gather in his eyes, and he was doing his best to keep them at bay. He had never felt the way he feels about you before, and he’s more than aware that his reputation precedes him. He knows that he’s done nothing more than prove how untrusting he is to you, but he wouldn’t let that stop him from trying to prove to you that he means what he’s saying.
“I know that nothing I say will fix what I’ve already done. I know that, but I can show you just how much you mean to me, if you’ll let me. We can go at your pace. Do things your way. Just, please, give me another chance to prove myself to you.”
You’re searching for any detection of a lie in his eyes, in his voice, but you come up empty. You wipe away the stray tears that broke through his wall of protection. You hesitantly placed your forehead on his, and you could hear him take in a sharp breath at the connection. Your eyes fluttered closed, your nose brushing against his as you weighed all of your options.
“Did you mean what you to me? In your last text,” You whispered, too scared to open your eyes and look at him. “Do you actually love me?”
“More than you know,” His breath was hot against your chin, and he pulled you closer into him.
You decided to take a leap, dive into something that scared you more than anything. Your lips finally met his, and Rafe wasted no time in returning the feeling. Your hands fell from his cheeks and clasped each other behind his neck, while his hands stayed placed on your hips, too scared to push you too far. You deepened the passion filled kiss by pulling him closer to you and running your tongue across his bottom lip. Rafe’s lips moved in such a sensual way that you almost didn’t know how to react. It was much different from the lust filled kisses you’ve shared in the past. You started moving your hips on top of him, an action that had him gripping your hips tighter than before.
Y/N,” Rafe breathed out after he broke away from you, “If you don’t stop, I don’t know if I can control myself.”
“Then don’t.”
i have not edited this so if you see a mistake lmk. love u
400 notes · View notes
camsthisky · 3 years
Note
"you’re not alone . you’re stuck with me forever . sorry . ” + Jason and Dick (and anyone other family member)?
“Everyone okay?” Dick croaks as the dust and rubble settles around them. He’s lying on his back, kept still by something pinning his legs down. He doesn’t dare assess himself quite yet. “Hood? Batgirl?”
“Okay,” Cass says, and Dick watches as she stumbles over to him, looking dusty, but relatively alright. She kneels next to him with a frown. She meets his eyes—well, relatively since they’re both wearing masks—and asks, “Okay?”
Dick grimaces. “Not really.” Louder, he calls, “Red Hood?!”
“Here, here,” Jason says, coughing into his fist. He’s missing his helmet and there’s a gash sluggishly bleeding from his right cheek, smearing a trail of blood down his face. He’s also limping, but only slightly.
“Can you move?” Cass asks Dick as Jason pulls out his flashlight.
Dick winces at the sudden light, his mask having already automatically switched to night vision. He huffs. “Jay. Off.”
“Names.”
Dick scowls. “The light.”
“Deal with it,” Jason snaps. “My night vision isn’t working.”
Dick turns off his own night vision feature, if only to not be blinded by the damn flashlight if it passes over his eyes again.
That’s when Jason’s flashlight lands on where Dick is pinned.
“Crap,” Jason breathes.
“Can you move them?” Cass asks, sounding a touch more impatient, and Dick realizes that Cass has already asked once. “Your legs.”
“No,” says Dick, just barely trying. He’s tired, but he knows that time is up. He can’t get away with ignoring his own situation any longer. Probably shouldn’t have even waited this long. His legs are tingling from lack of blood flow, mixing with a sharp pain shooting through them both. Still he’s lucky, because—“I can still feel them, though.”
“We’ll lift,” Jason says to Cass, who nods. Dick closes his eyes and braces himself for the inevitable pain of rubble being lifted off his crushed legs.
“Hhh.”
The sounds he makes is nothing more than an agonized hissed through his teeth, and Dick can’t help the cold sweat that sweeps across his body in a slow wave as his siblings manage to move the slab of—wall, maybe? who knows, really—from where it’s crushing his poor legs.
Something taps against his shinbone and then his kneecap.
“Stop, stop, I feel it,” Dick gasps, bringing his legs up in a protective curl as pain throbs through most of his lower body. His left hip hurts like hell, and his every muscle, bone, and tendon feels like they’ve been squeezed and then flattened like a pancake. He rolls over onto his side so he can bring his knees up to his chest, to wait out the lingering intensity of the pain.
“Breathe,” Cass says.
Dick breathes.
He closes his eyes and blocks out everything and, again, just breathes. His siblings let him.
When he has a better grasp on his agony, Dick finally relaxes. The world filters back in. Cass is running fingers through Dick’s dusty hair (something she one hundred percent learned from Bruce, because only a select few know how much the motion tends to calm him down).
On the other hand, Dick blinks his eyes open to find Jason agitatedly pacing.
“The hell?” Jason murmurs, his flashlight whipping back and forth with his movements as he surveys their surroundings. “Did we get completely sealed in?”
Dick wishes desperately he would stop. Even without night vision, Jason’s impromptu strobe light effect is causing Dick’s head to ache. Instead of saying this, he hums contemplatively. “Wonder if there’s a signal this far down.”
Jason huffs, not slowing in the least. He’s searching for something, and dear god does Dick want him to find it already. “You’re the one with the comms in your ear. You try it.”
They’re in the sewers, is the thing. And while Bruce and Babs have designed the comms system to work incredibly well, even in the sewers, the signal still needs to be able to make it to the system in order to be functional.
With the three of them sealed in this place, seemingly with no way out, pretty deep in the sewer system where they had been disabling bombs throughout the city, Dick isn’t optimistic about their chances of getting a signal.
(They’d just been a few seconds too late for that last bomb, which unfortunately led them to their current circumstances.)
While Jason grumbles, Cass activates her emergency signal and the comms. She calls out, “Batman? Oracle?”
Jason shuts up for the five seconds before Cass looks between both Dick and Jason and shakes her head.
Dick lets out a slow exhale through his nose. He hadn’t really held out much hope for that anyways.
Jason groans. “Holy batcannoli, I can’t believe we’re stuck down here. And where’s my hecking helmet?!”
Cass helpfully points to the rubble sealing them in. Jason kicks a rock with a yell. Dick sighs.
“Well, at least you’re not alone down here,” Dick says as optimistically as he can—although, given the circumstances, it does fall a little flat.
Jason snorts. “Right. Sure, Batgirl is an asset, but you’re a sack of bruised bones right now. That’s not helpful in the slightest, Dickface.”
Dick’s eyelashes flutter of their own accord. He hums. “Too bad. Looks like you’re stuck with me. Sorry.”
“Dick,” Cass says, her fingers tracing lightly over his face. “Stay awake.”
“I am awake.”
“You’re starting to—” Cass pauses. Dick can’t see the look on her face, because somehow, his eyes have fully closed without his permission, and he can’t seem to find the strength to open them again. “—to slur.”
The sounds of Jason’s pacing stop. Silence rings loud in their sealed section of the sewers. Then, “Did he hit his head?”
“Not sure,” Cass answers.
“Dick,” Jason says, sounding quite a bit closer, like he’s maybe crouching down next to Cass or something—but Dick hadn’t heard him move, and Jason’s boots are too clunky to not make sound against the concrete. “Dick, did you hit your head?”
Dick’s eyebrows furrow, but he doesn’t open his eyes. He doesn’t remember hitting his head. The only thing he clearly remembers about the blast is heavy pieces of rubble crushing his legs. “Maybe?”
“Great,” Jason says. He’s pulling out his I’m-rolling-my-eyes-at-your-ridiculous-incompetency voice. “So my bruised bones of a big brother probably also has a concussion. Just great.”
“It’s not his fault he’s injured,” Cass tells Jason. “He was disarming the bomb.”
Which means Dick took the brunt of the blast when it was remotely activated.
Dick really means to tack onto Cass’s statement, maybe tease Jason a little and try to reassure both his younger siblings that not everything is hopeless, because he’s the best big brother ever, of course.
Only, he can’t find the strength to open his mouth and talk. Instead, the voices around him become watery, distorted, and Dick’s head flares in pain.
When unconsciousness comes to take him, he doesn’t resist.
“—manage to even find us in the first place?” is the first thing Dick hears as he swims back to consciousness. Jason almost sounds relieved.
“The seismic device didn’t just affect the sewers,” someone replies. It takes a lot of effort for Dick to recognize it as Tim. “A couple buildings partially collapsed, and since we knew the three of you were down here, it was a good starting point to look when none of you would answer the comms.”
“Huh,” is all Jason says.
“Nightwing,” Bruce says, startling Dick from the dazed lull he’d been in as he listened to his brothers talking. He opens his eyes, blinking up bewilderingly at what he can see of Bruce’s face behind the cowl.
“B?” Dick murmurs. He doesn’t move, yet, from where’s curled on his side, but he feels an abortive twitch of his fingers at the reassuring sight of Batman. “‘S goin’ on?”
“What do you remember?”
Right. Bruce did not give easy answers. Life is a series of puzzles, Dick Grayson, fueled by none other than Bruce Wayne himself.
Dick frowns and casts his mind back. “The wall blew up,” he decides. “I got hurt?”
He’s only half sure about that last one, but considering his position on the ground, the throbbing in his head and hip, and Bruce’s concerned dad frown that’s taking over his Batman grimace, Dick thinks that he’s probably on the right track.
“Concussion,” Cass says, startling Dick when she pops her head over Bruce’s shoulder. “Also, ‘a sack of bruised bones.’”
That—sounds familiar. He thinks he remembers Jason saying something like that.
Bruce’s frown gets deeper. “Straighten your legs.”
“Please,” Dick tacks on for Bruce when he lacks the manners to be nice, basically on instinct at this point, even as he—slowly, and with a great deal of agony—does what Bruce tells him to do.
They go through a couple more tests, until finally Bruce, unhappy, deems, “We need to move you.”
Dick blinks when Bruce turns away to murmur something to one of the others. A conversation washes over him, and Dick can’t help but let himself tune it out. The noise settles as vague humming—indistinct and comforting.
“—two, three,” Bruce says as Dick’s entire vision goes white.
He only manages to come back to himself in increments.
There are arms holding him tight. Familiar murmurs in his ear. The comforting sound of Batman’s heavy cape brushing against concrete.
“—there, Chum,” Bruce is saying, and if Dick had the capability, he would have teased Bruce for pulling out both the concerned dad frown and the concerned dad voice in one night.
As it is, the only thing that comes out of his mouth when he opens it are harsh pants for air. Every step jostles him, and agony is his constant companion throughout the entire journey to the surface.
Somehow, Dick is still conscious when he’s laid down in the backseat of the batmobile. He’s grateful he’s not moving anymore, and carefully doesn’t think of the upcoming ride back to the Cave.
He only really starts to relax when Bruce settles the cape over him. Wrapped up inside it, Dick almost feels like he’s ten years old again. Batman’s has always felt like warmth and protection and home. This time is no different.
“Batgirl and Robin, keep Nightwing as still as possible. Red Hood, in the front. Start updating Oracle.”
“Why do they—”
“You’re too bulky, Hood. Me and Batgirl are smaller than you. It’s still going to be a tight fit, but it’s the most comfortable for everyone this way.”
“Whatever.”
“Enough. Car. Now.”
There’s lots of careful but hurried scrambling. Dick thinks he passes out a few times on the way back. He doesn’t remember much, either. Just bits and snatches here and there—His siblings talking to him, Bruce giving orders, Jason being snappy and unwittingly dragging Tim into an argument.
And then—he wakes up. A lot more clear-headed than he’d felt the last time he’d been conscious (though, that wasn’t saying much).
To Dick’s surprise, he’s on his side again, dressed in sweats with a pillow between his legs. He opens his eyes to the Wayne Manor living room, and—yes, he’s on the couch. The curtains are drawn, but it’s clearly sometime past sunrise.
Bruce is sitting cross-legged in front of him, reading a book.
“Bruce?” Dick calls, his voice still somewhat slurred. “Why’m I on the couch?”
“You started crying when I said you had to stay in the infirmary,” Bruce tells him, grabbing a bookmark and setting his book off to the side.
Dick frowns. He doesn’t remember that. Still, he manages to say, “You’re such a pushover.”
“How do you feel?”
Dick blinks a dozen times in a row, trying to assess his body and keep up with the change in subject. “Kinda woozy. My hip hurts a lot.”
“Hn.”
“Think I need to brush up on my Bat speak,” Dick murmurs. “Dunno what that one meant.”
Bruce hums again. “You’re incredibly lucky. We’ll need to be careful for the next few weeks.”
“What’s the diagnosis, doc?”
“Crush injuries to your legs and left hip. Not overly severe, and we managed to stabilize you once we realized you were in shock.”
Dick thinks about that for a second. “Concussion? I’m pretty sure I remember something about a concussion.”
“It’s mild,” Bruce tells him. “It was the shock that was the real problem.”
“Oh.” Dick sighs into the pillow under his head. “I’m tired.”
Bruce gives him a soft smile, just slight enough that if Dick hadn’t been so familiar with Bruce’s microexpressions, he would have thought he’d been mistaken. Fingers lightly card through his hair, and Dick’s eyes start closing of their own accord.
“Then sleep,” Bruce says.
Dick sleeps.
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introvert--weeb · 3 years
Note
Can I ask for a request for draken who has a crush on fem reader who’s the half baby sister of hakkai and yuzuha and she’s practically the princess of toman and no matter how many times he tries to approach her she’s always nervous (kinda like her brother) of being around him b/c she has a huge crush on him and she plans on confessing to him but she sees someone else confessing to him and she gets pretty sad and after that a rival gang notices she’s the princess of toman and decide to harass/hurt her and she ends up in the hospital, draken finds out and is pissed b/c of what happened and he ends up finding the guys who hurt her and he and the others beat the crap out of them after that he ends up confessing to her at the hospital and it ends in fluffy fluff:3
Hi anon! Thank you for the request! I really hope you enjoy it!!
--
Draken X f!reader (angst to fluff)
TW: mentions of injury, hospitalisation, violence
-
You could remember the moment you had fallen for the Vice President of Toman. Draken. He had instantly taken your heart and he was all you ever thought about these days.
Being the baby sister of Hakkai (although not fully), you were really close to the lanky male. In fact, you followed him like his much smaller shadow when he would attend Toman meetings. With how often you had turned up alongside the Second Division Vice Captain, you had been adopted as the Princess of Toman. Your cute looks and innocent persona had made everyone feel the need to keep you safe from harm.
Especially Draken. He would even kill a man if it meant you would be safe and happy. The poor boy had developed deep feelings for you, so deep that he would even claim it to be love. This had gone way past a simple infatuation.
To anyone with eyes, they could see how you both were obviously in love with the other but your interactions were awkward to say the least.
Just like your older brother, you had a hard time communicating with the opposite gender. Not so much with Mitsuya or Mikey but anyone else would be victim to your shyness. Stuttering and soft words were evident whenever someone had tried to talk to you apart from those you knew.
Over time, you had gotten better with your shyness with other members of Toman, becoming especially close to Angry (Souya) as you both seemed to be similar. The only person you couldn't talk a single syllable to was Draken.
Draken had tried multiple times to talk to you, to get to know you. But each attempt was met with failure. As soon as he would get close enough to start a conversation with you, you would become flustered. A deep blush took over your face and ears before you would run off to find Hakkai. Ken was confused as he had hardly gotten a simple 'hi' before you had disappeared.
You didn't mean to seem rude. You just felt like your heart would explode if you remained in his presence longer than a few seconds to a minute. He was just so cool and perfect that you had convinced yourself he was way out of your league. But maybe one day you would get the confidence to at least allow your feelings to be known to the tall blond.
That day had finally come. You had finally gathered enough confidence to confess your strong feelings for Ken Ryuguji. Yuzuha had helped you practice what you would say while she dolled you up. She had picked out a cute black skirt with a f/c shirt that went perfectly. Cute is what you thought when you had examined yourself in the body length mirror. Hopefully Draken would think so too.
After another run through with what you would say, Yuzuha handed you your small bag which contained your wallet and phone. You thanked her for all her help before heading to where you knew Draken and Mikey would be. After all, it was lunch time.
It didn't take you long to reach the café, your hands fiddling with the hem of your skirt as you approached nearer. This was it. You were finally going to tell him how you feel and you would find out if he felt the same. If he did, great...if he didn't, you would have to accept it.
Pushing the door open, you were frozen to the spot at the sight that greeted you. At the table where Draken and Mikey were sat, there was a girl who was talking to the vice president. Silently approaching closer, you had caught the words that tumbled out of her mouth.
"I really like you Ryuguji-kun! Please accept my confession!"
That's it. Your world crumbled around you. You were too late. Too naive to believe you were the only one who saw how amazing Draken was. And due to your shyness, you had missed out on telling him your feelings.
Your body had gone into auto pilot as you ran out of the café, tears falling rapidly down your cheeks. How could you be so stupid? Of course Draken wouldn't like someone as awkward as you! He needed someone who was strong and had enough confidence in themselves. Someone the complete opposite of you.
You had been wandering the streets aimlessly for an hour now. All your tears had been shed and you felt empty. You didn't want to head home yet. Not while you were still wallowing.
"Oh hey! It's Toman's princess!" A strange voice called out somewhere behind you. How did they know that nickname? Did everyone know you as this? That you would have to guess was the case as it wasn't long until you were surrounded by high school kids.
You didn't know what to do. You could try to fight but you only knew a little self defense. Thinking about it, you really should have asked Mitsuya or Mikey or even Hakkai to teach you how to fight.
Within moments, before you could truly react, the gang had descended upon you with kicks and punches, knocking the air from your lungs. You had tried to fight back, even succeeding in landing a punch or two on your opponents. However, it only angered them more and the beating intensified.
The gang had left you alone when you could barely stay awake. Your body lay battered on the concrete, bruises and broken bones making themselves known. Maybe it was your lack of energy or maybe it was the intensity of the pain, but your mind had shut itself down causing you to pass out.
The next Toman meeting was that night. Everyone had gathered together at the usual shrine, parking their bikes and engaging in conversations until Mikey would begin his announcements.
Draken was in a pretty foul mood that night. Having received that confession from that girl had really put him on edge. Of course he had rejected her feelings, knowing his heart belonged to Toman's princess. Speaking of Y/N, where was she?
Hakkai had pulled up at the shrine, his face showing just how devastated he felt. Always one to wear his heart on his sleeve after all. He was blaming himself for not being able to protect his baby sister from the fate she had encountered.
Noticing that the lanky boy was on his own, Draken went over to ask about where you were as you never missed a meeting. Hakkai just shook his head, mumbling that he had explained the situation to Taka-chan and Mikey already so he should ask them if he wanted to find out. It wasn't that Hakkai was being rude, he was just emotionally exhausted from having to explain it twice already.
Panic set in Ken's gut but he had no reason why. You were surely safe, right? After all, you would follow Hakkai everywhere and he would protect you with his last breath if needed.
It was during Mikey's announcements that Draken had found out about you being in hospital, placed under a medical coma to help your recovery. No-one knew when and if you would wake up. This news caused Ken's heart to drop to his stomach but also for immense rage to ignite in his chest. He would find the gang that had hurt his princess and make them pay.
Draken along with the rest of Toman had found the gang responsible for your condition within days of your hospitalisation. A huge brawl had occurred which lasted maybe 5 minutes at most. Draken had left no-one conscious, taking his anger out on the scum that dared harm what was his.
Everyone in Toman had decided to visit you once the brawl was over and you were properly avenged. Everyone simply watched as your chest rose and fell with each breath, the only indication you hadn't passed on yet. Draken felt his throat get clogged by the tears and sobs he was holding back. He was the tough vice president after all. He couldn't afford to look weak.
Weeks passed by with Ken spending his time at your bedside, waiting for any sign that you would wake up. He missed seeing your e/c eyes that he could stare into forever. He missed your cute giggles he would hear when you joked around with Angry. He missed you.
Unable to help himself, Draken allowed a few tears to escape past his eyes and roll down his cheek. "Please wake up Y/N. I love you, and I will tell you that everyday when you are back," and with those words, Ken leaned forward to gently brush his lips against yours.
Just like how it happened in fairy tales, your eye lids began to flutter open as Draken pulled back. The poor boy didn't notice you were awake until your hand (which he clutched tightly in his own) began to move slightly. In disbelief, Draken moved his teary gaze to your face where you were smiling back at him. Your cheeks had begun to heat up once you realised that your crush was holding your hand.
"YOU'RE AWAKE!" Ken was so loud that you had to shush him, your voice laced with giggles. Draken was just so happy that you were awake and looking OK that he pulled your face closer to his. Before you knew it, your lips were covered by another pair in a harsh but love filled kiss.
You must have died and gone to heaven, you convinced yourself. Due to that thought, you had the confidence to kiss back, even lifting your hand on his bicep. It was the best feeling you could ever hope to know. Heaven was surely amazing.
"I love you... I love you... I love you..." Draken muttered against your lips in between the soft pecks he was now leaving on you. He was so happy that you had kissed back, almost confirming you felt the same for the blond.
"I love you too..." Your breath came out as a long sigh, your voice dreamy and filled with all your feelings. Ken moved away from your face and relaxed back in the chair he occupied, a grin plastered on his face.
You were finally beginning to focus on where you were. Beeping machines, wires connected to your arm, the distinctive smell of disinfectants. You weren't in heaven after all. You were alive and in the hospital. It was only then that you had realised you had kissed your crush and told him you loved him too.
All the confidence you seemed to have evaporated in an instant. You were left a tomato red and stuttering so much that no words could come up. You had actually confessed and kissed Ken Ryuguji...
It was 2 weeks later when you were discharged from the hospital, accompanied by bandages around your ribs and your new boyfriend. "Make sure you're ready for our date tomorrow babe," Draken whispered in your ear, causing shivers to travel down your spine.
This boy was going to be the death of you.
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ink-on-the-brink · 3 years
Note
Out of all the mercs, which do you think would be the easiest to befriend and gain all their trust and which one would be the hardest??? And also, I really love your writing :D keep it up and have a nice day/night!!! ^^
Happy to know you enjoy my work! It's good to know I'm doing something right!
This one's going to be super quick since I've been a bit busy recently, but it should be fun. It will go in order from easiest to hardest to befriend. (Also there won't be any editing so excuse my spelling mistakes)
Pyro
You so much as smile at them and they are your best friend. Not kidding. They can and will make you a best friend after only the first time meeting you.
All you have to do to gain their trust is be kind. They won't notice if it's fake or not so even a sarcastic or strained tone won't matter as long as you're smiling and saying nice things.
Pyro is super bubbily and energetic and if you meet that energy you two are going to get along tremendously well.
You may not understand them, but they are telling you their deepest secrets all the time. Their trust in you is very noticable even after only a week of meeting them.
They are a bit- well more like extremely childish. So being their friend automatically makes you more of the adult no matter how immature you might be.
Overall they just want to be friends with any and every person they meet and you are going to be their bestest friend no matter if you want to be or not.
Scout
This man is a pretty easy friend to make. You make even a half attempt and he's your best friend on day one.
Trust is earned when you play fair. He doesn't really like cheaters, so if he challenges you and you make it a point to be as fair as possible he already believes you're a good person.
I hope you like some friendly competition because that's basically your guys' friendship is based on.
Now while you two might become great friends quickly, that doesn't necessarily mean you're going to know his deepest insecurities. That will problably take about a half a year and a loy of awkward conversations to get to.
He can be a very annoying person so being his friend takes a considerable amount of patience.
Overall he just likes having friends, even if he tries to stay macho about it.
Demo
Being his friend is pretty easy as well. He always likes to have a few drinking buddys on hand and he won't hesitate to invite along people he might not know very well
He'll gain immideate trust for you if you help him while he's drunk. Most people will leave him in a corner to wake up in so he'll take your act of kindness as a reason to keep you around.
Most of your friendship is based on achohal. Drinking together, gifting booze, encouraging others to join, you two will most likely not even remember most of your more trusting moments with eachother.
As bombastic and outgoing as he is, he's rather private about certain topics. That is unless he's black out drunk. If he's not as drunk as he usually is he won't answer questions about family or anything about the future until he feels he knows you well enough.
Demo is a bit of a handfull most days. He never turns down a dare and bar fights are common. You'll likely have to pull him off the floor a lot and he is notorious for invading personal space. So as long as your up for the challenge, he's up for being your friend.
Overall he's a drunk idiot, but he's your drunk idiot. He will be sure to make each day a little interesting
Medic
Becoming Medics friend can be...an interesting expirence. It's going to involve blood, guts and conscious surgeries and he's not going to care for those who are faint of heart.
You want to gain his trust? Well here's the thing, there is no surefire way to do that. Help him out one day and he'll appreciate it, another and he might become suspicious. The best way is probably to find some interest in his expirements. He prefurs to surround himself with like-minded people.
The biggest part of your friendship is most likely a shared interest in crimes against humanity. Two mad scientists testing on the bodies of dead 'patients'. What could go wrong?
Medic tries to hold a professional tone most of the time but will drop all of that when in battle or when expirementing. It can be hard to keep up with how quickly he switches from one to the other so try to stay aware of what's happening.
Medic doesn't have secrets. He has no shame and will tell you the most horrifying things in an upbeat tone. That, however, doesn't mean he fully trusts you. It will likely take a while before he trusts you enough to leave you alone with any of his expirements or projects. It's his life's work after all, he's not going to allow just anyone to mess with it.
Overall he doesn't mind having friends, but he isn't very open to close friends. It'll take a bit of time and prying to get him to fully trust you.
Soldier
This dude is extreamly parinoid. He's consistently second guessing his friendships and looking for double agents. So becoming his friend isn't exactly easy. You are going to have to seriously impress him for him to even think of you as anything more than a possibly traitor.
Gaining his trust can vary on many factors. Military backround? You're already up a few hundred points. Love for america? He's open to listening to you. Care for raccons? Okay maybe he isn't as hard to befriend as he tries to be.
Violence. So. Much. Violence. If he thinks you might be a good friend he's going to put you to the test. Rigorous training, sparing, tests on your patriotism, anything that he deems as important will be something he tests you on. All of them will most likely involve some sort of physical endurance. Even after you two are friend these will still be a constant in your life.
He's not good with secrets but there are a few things he keeps silent about and getting him to talk about it will likely end with you on the floor. As stated before he's a rather parinoid person and if it's something he's not willing to say out loud, it's something that you're going to have to spend years gaining enough trust for him to open up about it.
Soldier is extreamly loyal. If you're his friend he'd happily bleed to keep you safe. He'd never believe a single negative thing said about you and will side with you one everything, no matter how wrong you are. If you remain just as loyal he will become your right hand man in an instant.
Sniper
Overall Soldier's a loud, obnoxious, patriotic and still somehow very lovable person. When he cares about someone he tends to be extremely kind, be it in a more abrasive way then others. So as long as you can see past his militaristic exterior he's one hell of a friend to have.
You wanna be friends with Sniper? Yeah, good luck with that. Not only is the dude a loner, but he has hella trust issues and he sure as hell isn't here to make friends. Becoming his friend is going to take time. A lot of time. And maybe some coffee.
There isn't a singular act you could do to gain his trust. You can defend him all you want, side with him on every issue, pull him out of a near death expirence, its not going to change how little he trusts you. It's going to take all of those and a few long coversations (good luck getting him in a conversation in the first place) before he even attempts to trust you.
Your friendship relies heavily on practically. He's only going to think of trusting you if he feels you give some advantage. It will take a few heart to hearts for him to look past seeing you as someone who can help him and instead as someone he cares about.
Sniper has a lot of dark parts to him and it is only once he fully trusts you that you'll get to know that side of him exists. Secretly he really just wants to spill about his insecurities and problems but he doesn't trust that people won't use it against him. Once he does trust you his cold exterior will fade away and you'll get to know a lot about the demons he fights with.
He pulls off the calculated killer rather well. Most people believe he knows of nothing else. To anyone who's close to him however, he's quite honestly a mess. He needs someone that grounds him and if you can provide that type of friendship then he will appreciate it more that any type of heroic act you could preform.
Overall he's guarded and quiet but desperately wants someone to relate to. It will take a persistent attempt to earn his trust and even if he's your friend he still tends to keep to himself.
Heavy
Ah yes, the silent behemoth. Befriending him is going to take more than just patience. It's going to take a certain amount of willpower as well. He doesn't trust easily and you'll have to work hard to prove yourself to him, most likely on the battle field.
His trust is gained a few ways, none of which are easier than the last. First you must have some care for family. That doesn't necisarry mean that you have a family, but one of the first things he looks for in a possible friend is whether they have any strong familial values. Next you will have to prove to be strong enough to fend for yourself. He might be a human meat sheild but that doesn't mean he likes being one. He appreicates someone who can help rather than hinder him. There are many more steps afterward and you will have to pass with flying colors for him to consider it.
Your friendship will rely entirely on having eachothers back. He needs to know you are willing to stick with him no matter how dire the circumstances. You fuck up or betray him once and he will most likely never trust you again.
Heavy doesn't talk much. Whether that is because of his lack of english knowledge or simply choosing to keep his mouth shut really depends.
He doesn't hold many secrets but he does hold many dark memeories. He usually would only trust his family enough to talk to them about it but once your close enough to be considered family he will open up to you, if only a little bit.
Heavy keeps to himself most of the time and doesn't prefur to say much, if anything at all so getting to know his isn't easy and gaining his trust is even harder. He's got a family to take care of and he's not going to risk their safety by trusting someone he shouldn't have.
Spy
Ah yes, the backstabber himself. Guarded, mysterious and an annoying bastard. The path to his friendship is fog covered and honestly it can be hard to tell whether he cares for you or not. He will never announce his care or show it in any way, so good luck finding out if you're on his good side.
You want his trust? You'll have to prove you're worth trusting. Getting him out of a tough spot or siding with him is likely to earn his respect at the very least. It won't get you all the way there though. He doesn't associate with anyone that doesn't hold his type of class. You'll have to be rather poised and polished when around him.
His friendships usually end up in a love/hate dynamic. He might enjoy your company, and in doing so open a weak point for others to exploit. That's where the hate comes in. He doesn't like having people close, it makes his job harder, so no matter how much he cares he sure as hell isn't going to let it show.
Spy will never, ever, trust anyone with the knowledge of his past. He'd sooner die then let someone know anything that happened before he met them. No matter how much he trusts you, no matter how close you get, you will never have enough trust for him to tell you that.
Spy his one hell of a prick. It might all be in good fun, but he can be a little too good at getting on your nerves sometimes. It's best if you keep him in check by returning his remarks with equally devistating comebacks. He might even respect you more if you're able to match his level of prickery.
Overall he's going to remain mysterious no matter how much he may trust you. He will try to not befriend anyone, so you making an attempt to do so will likely be met with less than favorable reactions at first. Give it time and he might just consider you not as annoying as everyone else.
Engie
You thought he was a trusting guy didn't you? Well that's just what he wants you to think. Becoming his friend is a complicated process that you most likely wont even be aware of. You'll think he's your friend when really he's the farthest thing from it.
Gaining his true trust is near impossible. He has nearly everyone convinced of his friendly exterior so he almost can't afford to trust anyone to know the truth. In every case that it is possible it's entirely on accident. Maybe you seem to genuinely care for him and the guilt leaves him a bit more open to caring about you. Or the opposite can happen. You see right through his act and in a bid to keep you silent about it he becomes honest with you. Either way it's not going to be on purpose.
Engie grew up in a life where you weren't supposed to trust everyone but you damn well make sure everyone trusts you. This can make it hard for him to be an actual friend, considering he's always kept people at a distance. He will often fall into habits of keeping his friendly exterior instead of being more genuine with you.
Engie has a lot of secrets. A lot. Most he will take to his grave. If you do, however, manage to earn his trust and especially if you earn his care, he'll share a few. There are very few circumstances that he will and most time while doing so he can be very visibly uncomfortable. You don't get raised in a mercinary family without a few demons following you.
He's only cared for very few people in his life and he's trusted even less. So there are times when he either seem distant and uncaring or caring to the point you feel patronized. It will take him a while to find out if he should trust you and the moment he does it can seem almost like you have become the most important person on his life. His once empty gestures are now entirely genuine and he feels safe with his back toward you. This is by no means an easy point to reach and will most defiantly have taken literal years to get to.
Overall he's used to not genuinely connecting with people and is extremely hesitant when doing so. You may not even notice this conflict, but it's most certainly a large part of his life.
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hops-hunny · 3 years
Text
When He Sees Me
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Pairing: Fred Weasley x Chubby!Reader
Pronouns: She/Her
Word Count: 4.3k
Request: N/A
Summary:(Y/n) always thought she was too rational for love, until she wasn’t. (Based off of the song When He Sees Me from Waitress)
Warnings: Slight negative thoughts and angst but vast majority fluff and pining! Oh and positive use of the word fat.
A/N:  Fred is a little OOC in this?? But I honestly just imagine him as the type of guy to be sorta whipped if he really falls for someone.
I stick with real things
Usually facts and figures
When information's in its place
I minimize the guessing game
(Y/n) had always been a rational girl. In her younger years at Hogwarts, as all her friends began to giggle and blush at their crushes, she kept her nose in her books. Although she was curious of what they were experiencing, the thought never lasted long in her mind due to what her mother had told her from a young age.
(Y/n) was about the age of 6, sitting on the floor near the couch as she colored humming to herself softly. She had noticed her mom was in a bad mood due to her being sprawled out on the couch many upon many empty bottles of alcohol littered the table. She wasn’t sure why her mother was so upset but ever since they had seen her father at the park with her babysitter last week her mom had been in this mood and her father hadn’t been back.
“(Y/n) dear, promise me something.” her mother muttered to her half asleep. The girl turned around smiling at her mom. Her mom gave her a weak smile back as she pet the top of the girls head. “Never give your heart to a man. He’ll only leave it in pieces.”
At the time, the girl obviously had no clue what she meant but the older she got and the more she saw the people in her life get their hearts broken time and time again she had developed a clue. So, she simply focused on anything that wasn’t romance. School, plants, knitting, you name it and that’s what she gave her attention to. Even though it wasn’t a conscious action, it still affected her deeply.
I don't like guessing games
Or when I feel things
Before I know the feelings
How am I supposed to operate
If I'm just tossed around by fate?
Like on an unexpected date?
Although her friends described it to her many upon many of times, she still found herself absolutely clueless of what feelings of love was like. That's why when she saw him, she was confused by what was happening.
“Oh he’s simply lovely! He does this funny little things with his hands where-” Although (Y/n) was focused on her coursework, she was still listening to Diane as usual. She liked to listen to her friends retelling of experiences with lovers, soaking it in like a cheesy romance movie. She looked out the window needing a quick break from her work. Her breath hitched quietly as she placed a soft chubby hand over her heart feeling as it raced wildly in the chamber of her chest. Her body had a tingling sensation all over that she had never felt before as she felt herself get dizzy.
“W-who’s that?” she said in an airy tone, causing her friend to follow her gaze. There he stood, laughing and joking around with his friends pushing each other around. His ginger locks blew in the wind slightly and his skin glowed in the soft afternoon sun. 
“You mean you don’t know who that is? That’s Fred weasley! He’s like one of the most popular guys in our year. I can’t believe you just asked that.” She snickered some, teasing her friend. She stopped once she noticed the girl who was usually quick to snap back was unusually quiet. She smiled softly at her expression, noticing that look in her eyes. Whether (Y/n) knew it or not yet, she was absolutely enamoured with none other than Fred Weasley.
“I don’t like him. He makes me feel funny.” she said, however the way she looked out the window still said otherwise.
“Funny how?”
“I don’t know, just funny.”
“Like laugh funny or like funny funny?”
“Obviously not laugh funny, are you an idiot?” She asked, glaring at her blonde friend. She looked out the window once more. She noticed him look back causing her to gasp, eyes wide with shock. He winked at her causing her to scoff, pick her things up before shutting the library blinds and run off to who knows where.
Diane laughed to herself as she began to pack her own stuff up to go after her friend. She sighed before running quickly out the library to catch up.
“Ah, young love!”
-------------------------------------
With a stranger who might talk too fast
Or ask me questions about myself
Before I've decided that
He can ask me questions about myself
He might sit too close
Or call the waiter by his first name
Or eat Oreos
But eat the cookie before the cream?
“For the last time Diane, I’m not talking to him!” she said, slamming her book closed as she tossed it on the table in front of her. Her, Diane and a few of her other friends found themselves in the common room as they usually did on friday nights talking and gossiping about anything that came to mind. Today’s topic of discussion was the girl’s apparent “crush” as they called it. Considering she had nothing to base off of whether that’s what the funny feeling she had mentioned earlier in the week was, she decided to trust her friends in them saying that’s what it was.
“What? Oh come on, give me one good reason why you won’t.” Molly said, facing her friend her sharp green eyes boring into (Y/n)’s (e/c) ones. 
“Oh I can give you a PLETHORA of reasons why not!” the (y/h/h) girl exclaimed as she stood up. She began to pace, trying to rack her brain for good reasons on why not. “Aha! What if he butters both sides of his toast? Or-or what if he asks me too many questions on why I’m talking to him? Or if he’s as popular and well known as you say, what if he takes that as an excuse to ignore personal space boundaries and gets handsy?” 
“He’s a teenage boy, not a serial killer. Someone’s been watching too much muggle crime specials.” Molly said as she rolled her eyes, sighing as she leaned back into the couch. (Y/n) glared at her friend, letting out an exasperated sigh as she facepalmed. It wasn’t like she didn’t wanna do anything about these feelings. She most certainly did. Whatever would get rid of them the quickest is the route she wanted to take.
“Well, you could always let him know another way!” Ronnie said as they looked up at their friend. “You’ve got so many skills and talents, why not take advantage of it?” Although Ronnie wasn’t very talkative, whenever they opened their mouth they always said something that made perfect sense.
“As per usual Ronnie, you’re the voice of reason. Merlin bless Ronnie for all of eternity!” (Y/n) exclaimed dramatically as she got on her knees, pretending to worship her friend like a god. 
--------------------------
(Y/n) had been doing just that, making herself known to Fred without making herself known. The (y/h/h) girl had wanted to be anonymous about it, leaving things without her name however Diane pointed out the fact that (Y/n) had “the presence of a ghost” and that “even ghost had more of a presence then her” which meant that even if she did attach her name to the things left Fred would have no idea who it was. Because to be frank (Y/n) was, well, a nobody. 
She noticed this little ‘talent’(if you could even call it that) first year when her teachers would mark her as absent despite her being in the front row of the class and having some of the highest marks. She seemed to fly by unnoticed by all but her small group of friends which they all found funny, especially with Diane being one of the most popular girls in their grade if not all of Hogwarts. 
So, she started off small. She’d leave little notes for him in places she knew he’d find them, usually his first or last class of the day, and his seat in the great hall. She would watch him as he’d read them, flushing sometimes as he read them. However, his usual response was to read them out loud to George, bragging about how a pretty girl was leaving him notes.
“Ah listen to this one, Georgie! ‘Here’s a quidditch tip for you Fred. I noticed that when you’re on your broom you have a habit of going to the right which is why you often get stopped. Try switching it up sometimes! However, that’s not the only thing I’ve noticed. Somehow despite being in that dorky quidditch outfit, you still look just as fit as usual. Yours truly, (Y/n).’” He smirked at that part, a chorus of ‘ooo’s from his friends.
“Although she may be blind to say that, she does know her quidditch! Sounds like a catch if you ask me. I’m surprised she didn’t go for me, the better twin.” George said, choking on his toast as Fred smacked him on the back of the head.
Diane nudged her friend, glancing at her. She laughed as she saw her friend’s round face buried in a book to hide the overwhelming amount of shyness that was overcoming her. Even though this had become a regular thing, she still couldn’t stop the way her heart would race every time Fred would read one of the letters aloud. 
To avoid the notes becoming repetitive, she started to switch it up every once in a while. Baked goods, hand knitted scarfs and gloves, even flowers with meanings behind them made their way into Fred’s ownership. However, the more things he got the more not only him but other people became curious. Who was (Y/n) (L/n)?
But what scares me the most
What scares me the most
Is what if when he sees me, what if he doesn't like it?
What if he runs the other way and I can't hide from it?
What happens then?
If when he knows me, he's only disappointed?
What if I give myself away, to only get it given back?
I couldn't live with that
Molly was currently trying to catch up to her soft friend, a sympathetic look on her face. “Why not? I think you should just go up to him and tell him! So many other girls have tried, claiming to be you.” she said, catching the other girl’s attention. She bumped into her as the (h/c) girl abruptly stopped. She turned to look at her friend with tears in her eyes causing her to look down at her agape.
“Do you wanna know why I haven’t just gone up to him yet? Do you really?” She said above a whisper as she looked up at her tall friend, silent tears making their way down her cheeks. “It scares me. It scares me even fucking more than what I feel for him does. Fred is just so..he’s funny, talented, popular. Who wouldn’t want him?” she choked out, looking away. “What if when he sees me, he doesn’t like me? Whenever he reads my notes or gets one of my gifts he always mentions how beautiful (Y/n) must be.”
“(Y/n)...”
“Let me finish Molly. When he says that, he probably means some tall leggy blonde like Diane. I’m just me.” she lets out a dry chuckle, sniffing as she wipes at the tears streaming. “Sure, I find me beautiful, you guys find me beautiful, but the world doesn’t. I don’t look like anyone he’s ever been with before. Fred is always surrounded by tons of gorgeous women. If he saw me, he’d only be disappointed. If I gave myself to him and he rejected me, I couldn’t live with that. Now I see what my mom was talking about.” she said as she walked off leaving Molly confused by the last part of her statement. She frowned hearing her friend’s words but she knew her better than to chase after her when she was upset. She turned the other way, walking quickly in hopes she’d make it to her lecture not too late. However, a flash of red hair out of the corner of her eye didn’t go unnoticed but it did slip her mind when she saw her friend later.
So, I'm just fine, inside my shell-shaped mind
This way I get the best view
So that when he sees me, I want him to
(Y/n) sat in the library at a table by herself. It was a friday, usually she’d spend this time with her friends in the commons. However, after the never ending pestering to just talk to him, to face him she told them she wasn’t feeling well and that she’d be retiring early. It wasn’t a lie, she had completely planned on getting some much needed rest but as she lay in bed tossing and turning her restlessness turned into frustration leading her to read a bit to clear her mind. Reading was what she enjoyed doing when she wanted to clear her mind or simply escape the insufferable reality she was living in. But after she found herself reading the first line to chapter three 10 times she placed her bookmark between her pages, looking out the window.
It was if the universe was taunting her from the sight in front of her. There he stood, talking to another girl from their year. She couldn’t recall the girls name but it wasn’t that important, she was beautiful. She sighed as Fred laughed at something the girl said, patting her head before walking away. ‘It’s better this way. He can’t see you which means he can’t reject you which means you won’t get hurt’ is what she kept telling herself. However if that was the truth, then why did she feel so empty inside?
-----------------------
(Y/n) laughed along with her friends as they sat in the empty common room. Everyone from their house was Merlin knows where at this time as they all shared their intimate horror stories.
“Oh come on, that did NOT happen.” she said through laughs, eating another chocolate from the box on the table. Her cheeks hurt from the amount she had been laughing. Diane was in the midst of telling what happened during her recent sexual endeavor with some guy from her herbology class.
“I swear he did! His face was green and everything! Next thing I know he was blowing chunks off the side of the bed. I offered to take him to the infirmary but he didn’t hear me through his tears so I just made my exit as swift as possible!” she said laughing as well, face red from how much she had laughed through the telling of the story. They all continued to howl with laughter, someone else’s laughing triggering someone else to laugh even more. (Y/n) was the laugh one left laughing as her friends all began to grow quiet. 
“G-guys? Why’d you stop? Who’s next?” she said, looking at Molly who was on her left and Ronnie who was on her right. 
“Um, don’t look how (Y/n) but Fred Weasley is coming this way.” Diane said, causing the girl to stop breathing briefly.
“W-what?!” she whispered loudly, eyes growing wide.
“Yeah and um don’t freak out, but he’s looking directly at you. No pressure though!” Molly said, giving her a rough pat on her back as she offered the girl a smile. The (h/c) haired girl glared up at her. As Fred grew closer, their voices grew quieter.
“Why wouldn’t that make me nervous?!” she said through gritted teeth as she pulled on Molly’s curls causing the girl to let out a quick ‘ow!’. She chuckled nervously. “Well, we have nothing to worry about! It’s not like he knows who I am!” she said as she relaxed some, closing her eyes as she leaned back. She heard footsteps stop in front of her causing her eyes to shoot open as she looked at the ground. Huh. Those shoes didn’t look like Ronnie’s shoes. Matter of fact, they didn’t look like Diane’s either. Or Mo- oh no. She looked up, arms folded across her abdomen self consciously as she looked up at the man in front of her. She couldn’t help but take in his appearance.
He was in a white shirt, some spots see through from what she assumed was a mix of sweat and water. His flaming hair was mostly dry but damp in some spots and he adorned a pair of sweatpants that made him look quite godly in her opinion. If she had to guess, he had just gotten back from quidditch practice. It was weird for her to be this close to him intentionally. The only time she found herself close to Fred was when they’d walk past each other in the hall or when their classes would go by each other due to a required location change for the lesson. Therefore she had never been able to see the freckles on his knuckles, the barely noticeable acne scars that adorned his forehead, or even the way his Irish spring’s shower gel smelled oh so heavenly.
“I’ve been all around the castle for weeks, months even. I think the main reason it took me so long was not only the fact that I haven’t really seen you up close before, but all the other birds claiming to be you. It was like that one muggle film, what’s it called? Cinderfeller?” he pondered for a moment looking off.
“I-it’s Cinderella.” Ronnie chimed in, giving him an awkward smile. They were all quite stunned. Although they all knew that this wild goose chase couldn’t go on forever, they didn’t expect it to be Fred of all people to approach first. They were sure (Y/n) would reveal herself on her own time but it seemed that they weren’t the only one’s getting impatient with the girl’s excuses and whys.
“Right, thank you. So I set off, making a list of every girl in our year in the castle- with the help of George and Dean of course- and we spoke to quite literally all of them. It was easy to weed out the fakes because they couldn’t answer questions related to some of the gifts I had received. So by the process of elimination that leaves you, love. Are you (Y/n)?” He said, crouching down to her level. As hues of brown met hues of (e/c) it was much too intimate for the girl to handle. She sat there, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.
“W-well I am a (Y/n). I’m sure there’s plenty of others in the castle!” she retorted letting out a forced laugh, wiping her sweaty palms on her skirt. Was the common room always this warm? 
“If I recall correctly, weren’t you bragging the other day about being the only (Y/n) in the castle? You said and I quot-” a quick stomp of (Y/n)’s foot on Diane’s caused the blonde to quickly stop whatever she was in the middle of saying. Fred looked down at the (h/c) hair girl with a quirked brow and knowing smirk. She was caught red handed. Without another word, he quickly pulled her off the couch with ease, dragging her along with him. She tried protesting and looking at her friends for help but they all simply waved and smiled at her, making kissy faces and noises. ‘Idiots’ she thought as she rolled her eyes. Fred continued to guide her, the path to where they were going looking awfully familiar until they arrived at the astronomy tour.
“Listen Fred, I just wanna say I’m sorry. I know you were probably expecting (Y/n) to be someone who looks like Diane, or hell, even Molly’s dumbass but I’m not. I’m just me.” She began as she walked to the edge, looking off the balcony. “I know now that you’ve seen me you’re probably disappointed. I’ve seen the girls you hang around all the time and they’re bloody gorgeous and-”
“So are you.” he whispered, causing her to whip her head around quickly.
“Pardon?” she responded with glassy eyes. The girl wasn’t too sure why her eyes began to water from three simple words. They weren’t the usual three words that cause or evoke such an emotional response but they felt like the missing piece of a puzzle. Her eyes followed the lanky guy as he walked over to her, tucking a few pieces of hair behind her ear as he interlocked their hands. Long, skinny and defined calloused hands meeting her soft thicker but smaller ones.
“So. Are. You. Beauty is such a fluid thing. There’s no one way to be beautiful, lovely. Museums have many unique and beautiful forms of art and so does life.” He let his hands wander on her sides, gliding up and down her love handles, waist, and hips. He took one of his hands to tilt her head up oh so gently. “If you were a sculpture, you’d be made of the finest of marble by the most talented of sculptors. Hell, if I wasn’t so bloody bad with art I’d sculpt you myself but I don’t think I’d be doing you much justice. It’d be a monstrosity.” he said, shuddering at the idea of him doing anything art related. (Y/n) found herself giggling at that.
“If only you applied this verbiage to your coursework. Perhaps you’d actually be doing decent.” she remarked as she continued to laugh. Fred gasped a bit before joining in as well with his own laughter. As the laughter died down, he lifted a hand caressing her cheek, thumb sweeping across the smooth skin. She found his eyes to see they were filled with adoration. “Fred Weasley, are you whipped for me?” she spoke softly as if she had said it any louder, that he’d simply disappear.
“I have been since the first time I saw you.” He responded, his own cheeks flushing a bit with a light crimson. She looked at him puzzled a bit before her eyes widened slightly.
“You remember that? That was months ago!” she noted. He grinned at that, pulling her closer.
“Of course I do. Imagine my delight when I found out that beautiful girl who slammed the blinds shut on me happened to be the girl my heart was slowly going out to with every note and kind gesture you sent my way. Merlin is definitely on my side.  Although I must be honest,” he looked away for a bit before lookin back at her. “The list was a huge help, but I also couldn’t help but overhear your conversation in the hallway that day. However I knew then wasn’t the right time to approach you, I assumed you would’ve just been more upset over the fact I was eavesdropping a bit.” he mumbled. She opened her mouth to question what conversation before she recalled what she had said to Molly that day in the hallway.
“Let me finish Molly. When he says that, he probably means some tall leggy blonde like Diane. I’m just me.” she lets out a dry chuckle, sniffing as she wipes at the tears streaming. “Sure, I find me beautiful, you guys find me beautiful, but the world doesn’t. I don’t look like anyone he’s ever been with before. Fred is always surrounded by tons of gorgeous women. If he saw me, he’d only be disappointed. If I gave myself to him and he rejected me, I couldn’t live with myself. Now I see what my mom was talking about.”
“Hearing you speak so lowly about yourself upset me quite a bit. I wanted to plan out what I was going to say a bit more and also make sure it was actually you.”
“I’m sorry you had to hear me say those things about myself. I usually don’t say such things like that, I’m very confident in the way I look. To me, fat and ugly aren’t synonymous but I know everyone isn’t so open minded.” she admitted, dropping her gaze to the ground. “I’m also new to this whole feelings thing. You’re the first guy I’ve ever had feelings for.”
Now, it was Fred’s turn to become speechless. He couldn’t believe his ears, he had the honor, no, the privilege of being the first guy to be such a sublime goddess of a woman? He felt his ears heat up and he knew he had to look absolutely ridiculous. “I don’t blame you, I am one hell of a guy!” He said, flexing his arms as he flashed her a cheeky grin. (Y/n) scoffed some, shoving him away as she rolled her eyes playfully. She pondered for a second before standing on her tippy toes planting a kiss on his cheek...or at least that’s what she had planned. Fred being Fred turned his head last moment wrapping his arms around her waist as he pressed his lips into hers. She gasped softly, chills running up her spine again as her body tensed.
Even this was her first time having a kiss, she could tell this was a feeling she’d be craving nonstop. (Y/n) wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling Fred down to her height. The ginger boy smirked into the kiss, trailing his hands all along her soft frame practically melting at the feeling. His hands snaked their way down to her ass, cupping the pillowy flesh between his large hands causing the (y/h/h) to moan softly. The Gryffindor pulled away, biting and pulling her bottom lip along with him.
“So, I have a question for you then…”He started, pressing his forehead against hers. She felt the warmth of his minty breathe hit her face as she looked into his eyes expectantly. “Do I really have a tendency to go to the right when I play quidditch? Because in my opinio-”
“Fred! Really?!”
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luminnara · 3 years
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It’s Been a Long, Long Time | Ch 6
Summary:  When HYDRA had their prized asset, the Winter Soldier, they did something no one ever thought was possible: they gave super soldier serum to an omega. With the sole purpose of tending to him during his ruts, she spends decades living in HYDRA facilities, denied her humanity and her life. Now, years later, Bucky Barnes has his mind and his own life back...and the last thing he ever expects is to see a familiar omega again. Bucky/OC, a little angsty but mostly smutty/fluffy/romantic!
Part One | ... | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven
Tags:  @kyrah-williams @oceanmermaidwitch @shawnie--jo @super-cape @ferxaniti @namjoonwatcheshentai @fandomsstolemylife00 @youngblood199456 @nightlygiggless @darlingely @ bluemoon-icecream @kaz11283 @jenjen8675309 @dollfacev8 @witchinpractice @mystical-b3ar @sukeraa
Bucky refused to leave the omega’s side while she stayed in the lab. Bruce had to stop him from trying to crawl onto the bed with her, and after about the third time, he convinced the super soldier to just pull up a chair like a civilized person and hold her hand while she drifted off to sleep again. Now that she was with her alpha, she had settled down for another nap, more interested in resting than answering any more questions so long as Bucky stayed and kept an eye on her. 
Steve had to admit, it was endearing. He had never seen his friend so absolutely enraptured like this. Whenever the omega, or Ten, as Bruce was still calling her, shifted in her sleep, Bucky’s eyes were snapping over to make sure that she was okay. Whenever she let out a little whimper, he was purring and stroking her hair. Whenever she seemed like she might wake up again, his attention was completely on her.
“So...sure you don’t remember her?” Steve asked, pulling up a chair. He had left for a few hours to work out, and after a lack of updates from FRIDAY, he headed back down to check on everything. They were exactly as he had left them, which was a good sign. At least nothing was getting out of hand. 
Yet.
Bucky shrugged, rubbing the back of the omega’s hand with his thumb. “I dunno. It’s...foggy.”
“Well, it seems to me like you’ve either got a history together, or she’s mistaking you for someone else.” Steve said. “Quite frankly, it’s hard to do the latter.”
“I’ve dreamt of her.” Bucky said quietly. 
“...what?”
“It’s not much, but...I’ve seen her face.” Bucky looked down at her. “I think that no matter how many times HYDRA wiped my memory, she’s always been in there. Kinda like the one constant that was always around, the one thing I could always count on being in the base with me.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Steve asked.
“Never knew if she was real or not.” Bucky sighed. “I thought...maybe she was just something my mind made up to fill some of the gaps. But she smells exactly like I remember.”
Steve sat back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched his friend. Bucky wasn’t snarling anymore, most of his attention trained on the omega while she slept. Now that he was close to her, he had calmed down significantly, though he still wouldn’t let Steve within five feet of her bed. 
“Just got off the phone with Tony,” Bruce announced, walking in. “He and Pepper will be back tonight. Pepper’s having some clothes and personal items delivered for our new omega friend here. They also asked about renovating a more permanent room for her, but I, uh...told them I wasn’t exactly sure what the situation would be.”
“She’s staying with me,” Bucky said immediately. 
“Now hang on, hang on,” Steve leaned forward. 
“Steve,” Bucky growled. “I want her with me.”
“Buck, you don’t even know her—“
Bucky interrupted him with a loud snarl, the omega in question whining and squirming in her sleep at the sound of it. 
He immediately shut up, brushing a thumb over her cheek and shushing her until she was sleeping soundly again. Fuck, he felt so stupid. What was wrong with him? She could have woken up, or been scared, or upset, all because he couldn’t keep his big mouth shut. She needed her rest, and he needed to stay quiet. 
Steve almost couldn’t believe what he was seeing. 
“Oh, Buck,” he shook his head. “You’re in deep.”
Amoretta woke feeling well rested, and it wasn’t until she tried to stretch and felt the tug of her IV drip that she remembered where she was. Opening her eyes revealed the bright lights of the lab, and as she started to sit up, a few faces came into view.
“Welcome back, Sleeping Beauty,” Bruce said. “How are you feelin’?”
She licked her lips. “Juice box. Now.”
“Way ahead of you. Had this one waiting as soon as you started waking up.” He tossed one to her and was pleased when her hand shot up to catch it. “Reflexes look good. Vitals are all reading normal. I’ll have to run another test to see what’s going on with those suppressants, but I’m willing to bet you’re metabolizing them fairly quickly now. How are you feeling?”
She pulled the little straw off the back of the carton and jammed it into the top. “Nauseous. Like usual.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Side effect of the suppressants?”
“Always has been. Other than that...I feel great, actually.”
“Well, as soon as these wear off, we can figure out something nicer and more modern for you. If you want to use them, I mean.” Bruce shrugged. “Your choice.”
She smiled. “Choice. I like that.”
“Hey, we’re all about independence here,” Steve said happily. He was glad to see she was awake, even though Bucky wasn’t.
The other alpha was still at her side, but, as of about half an hour ago, he was napping. Steve made a mental note to never let him forget the way he slept straight through the one moment he had been waiting for all day. 
“What time is it?” She asked. “There’s no windows in this damn place.”
“Just after dinner,” Bruce chuckled. “You slept most of the day. Bucky hasn’t left your side.”
She looked over to her soldier, smiling warmly at the sight of him sleeping. He was even snoring softly. “I haven’t gotten to see this in forty years.”
“Did you two, uh…” Steve cleared his throat. “Spend a lot of time together?”
The omega laughed. “You always this awkward around girls?”
“That’s not—“
“Relax, I’m just giving you a hard time.” She sucked on her straw. “But...yeah, we did.”
“So...you were just kept for his ruts, or…” Steve was so awkward it was almost endearing. “I’m sorry, that came out wrong. I think.”
“It’s okay. I know my lot in life.” She kept her eyes trained on Bucky as she spoke. “But if I’m going to answer more questions, I want to get out of this bed. And I want real clothes. Then I’ll talk.”
And so, only several minutes later, Bruce was handing her a sweater and some shorts he had grabbed from a little stash of extra clothing, and Bucky was startled awake by Ten stepping past him. She was finally free from all the tubes and cords that had been sticking out of her during her little hospital stay, and she was all too eager now to explore the tower.
She stood on wobbly legs, almost falling onto him when she tried to take a step. Bucky was up in a flash, ready to catch her, and as she fell against his chest, he wrapped his arms around her. Despite just waking up, he felt fully alert, completely ready to tend to his omega’s every need. 
His omega...he liked that train of thought. 
“We can head up to the common area. It should still be quiet.” Steve said, leading the way out. 
Bucky kept an arm around his omega’s waist as they followed, Bruce bringing up the rear. He wanted to be touching her at all times, constantly in contact so that he couldn’t lose track of her. His instincts were roaring to life, demanding that he do everything in his power to make sure that she was safe and in his line of sight. The elevator ride was tense and full of possessive growling, Bucky constantly shoving Ten behind him to keep her in the corner and as far away from Steve as possible, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief when the doors slid open and they could step out of the cramped space again. 
The common area was empty, thankfully, FRIDAY informing them that the other Avengers were all either working out or in their private quarters. 
“Good,” Steve said, heading towards the couches. “No interruptions. Got it, FRIDAY?”
“Understood, Captain Rogers.”
“C’mere,” Bucky mumbled, pulling his omega down to sit on one of the couches with him. Part of him was feeling a little sheepish and self conscious of his behavior...but the rest of him didn’t give a shit. The others could stare and shake their heads all they wanted, but he’d be damned if he let Ten slip through his fingers again. 
Or whatever her name was. 
Steve and Bruce sat across from them, making sure that they left as much space as possible between themselves and the new omega. Neither of them had ever seen Bucky behaving quite like this--he was on guard, hyper aware of everything around him. He made sure that she was pressed up against his side, an arm draped possessively over the back of the couch so that it was unmistakable that she was with him.
Christ, what had gotten into him? He couldn’t remember ever acting this way about an omega before. 
“So…” Steve cleared his throat, sitting with his elbows resting on his knees.
Bucky didn’t really like the way his posture made him lean forward towards his omega, but he could deal with it for now. “So.”
“What do you wanna know?” Ten asked, plucking at Bucky’s shirt. She seemed to be even clingier with him than he was with her, perfectly happy to be hanging off him or tucked up against his side. “You met my demands. I guess I’m an open book now.”
“I don’t want to overstep my bounds,” Steve said. “We just need to know as much as you’re willing to share.”
“Then ask a question.”
“...Alright.” he cleared his throat again. “You said HYDRA used you to help with Bucky’s ruts?”
Ten nodded, her expression remaining even and cool. 
“Could you tell us more about that?” Steve glanced at Bucky. “Were there ever any other omegas, or anyone we should know about?”
“There were omegas before me.” she answered. “When I first got to the compound, there were a lot of us. They kept us all in big cells, so everyone talked. People said things about how HYDRA was grabbing omegas off the street for their super soldiers, and how the one at our base was the biggest and scariest.”
Bruce raised an eyebrow at her tone. He wasn’t exactly sure what he expected her to sound like while she regaled them with her life story, but he definitely thought there would be a tad bit more apprehension in her voice. She seemed proud of herself, and more matter-of-fact than a lot of omegas would be while talking about their alpha’s previous partners. Or...whatever you called prisoners whose only purpose was to help during ruts.
“And I bet he was,” she sighed, leaning her cheek on Bucky’s chest and looking up at him adoringly. 
“Well, I don’t know about that…” Bucky said, an almost shy smile on his lips. And...was he actually blushing?
Steve was going to lose his mind. 
“You said the other omegas couldn’t handle it? That’s why you were given the serum?” he prompted, trying to keep them on track before he drowned in the sticky sweetness of her happy pheromones. 
“Right.” she turned her attention back to Steve and Bucky let out a quiet huff. “HYDRA didn’t really like to take care of us. And the soldier--I mean, Bucky--would wear them out. So...HYDRA would just kind of let them go. Or put them down, maybe. I never saw it.”
Bucky’s expression dropped. His blush was gone, and he almost looked like he was going to be sick as he listened to her talk.
“But it wasn’t his fault,” she said quickly, glancing between him and Steve. “I don’t think it was ever on purpose, you were just...demanding.”
He gave a groan, leaning his head back against the couch. “You don’t have to sugarcoat it, doll. I’d rather know what I did, at this point.”
She offered a small shrug. “I don’t really remember it being that bad, but I don’t think I ever met you before they gave me the serum.”
“That’s something, at least.” he mumbled, dragging a hand down his face. 
“Why you?” Steve asked. “Did you have any prior military experience, any ties to something the others didn’t?”
“No.” she laughed. “I never even got in fights before HYDRA.”
“Then why’d they use such an important resource on you, specifically? Not trying to take a dig at you, it’s just...well, omegas don’t usually…”
“I know,” she said. “Omegas aren’t supposed to be tough, right? That’s why they only ever let alphas become super soldiers.”
“That’s not what I…” Steve trailed off and then sighed. “Sorry.”
“I told you, they gave me the serum so that I would be strong enough to hold my own. It also ensured I would always be around, no matter how many years passed.” Her fingers found Bucky’s free hand and she took it, absentmindedly playing with the smooth vibranium knuckles. “Having me as a constant meant they could stop spending so much time and effort on always having a new omega around for him. Plus…well, I wasn’t really there, but I heard something about it once…”
“What?” Bucky asked. 
“They let you choose who was going to become your omega.” She said, looking up at him. “They gave you a bunch of scents, and you chose mine. I guess it was the only reason they didn’t, uh...humanely euthanize me.”
His eyes were wide. The thought of HYDRA killing his omega brought a low growl to his throat, his chest rumbling with the vibrations of it. “No.”
“Well, clearly they didn’t!” She said brightly. “My file said I was a kicker.”
“So they gave you, an already aggressive omega, the serum, but never gave you any trigger words or fished around in your brain?” Bruce shook his head. “Surprisingly sloppy, considering who they are.”
“It’s not like they ever sent me out into the world. I stayed in my cell all day, unless I was needed for a rut. Then I went and stayed in a different cell.” She sighed. “And if they ever needed to, they could just use the alpha to grab me.”
Bucky clearly didn’t like the thought of that. He made a frustrated sound, leaning his head back again. “Great.”
“It was never bad.” She let go of his hand, moving her fingers to cup his jaw. “You never hurt me. You wouldn’t. Sometimes, when I acted up, they would make you go retrieve me, because they knew you were the only one who could do it. If they didn’t send you, they would just knock me out.”
“So...that was it?” Steve asked. “Ruts, serum, cryo?”
“For thirty years!” She chirped. “The last time they froze me, they were freezing him, too. They always tried to keep us in cryo at the same time so that I could be thawed out and ready when he needed me. But...I guess they just...left me there?” She frowned. 
“See, that’s what I’ve been trying to figure out.” Steve said. “I didn’t see any signs of a struggle at that base. I’d say they left in an orderly fashion, but the fact that they didn’t take you along makes me think they were in more of a hurry than they made it seem.”
“Natasha might have a better idea,” Bruce suggested. “We can talk to her, try to figure out—“
“FRIDAY, open the damn door or so help me God I will rewrite your entire personality.” A voice interrupted from the other side of the door. 
“I’m sorry, Tony, but Captain Rogers asked me not to.” The AI said. 
“Well, is it an emergency?” The man scoffed.
“No emergency measures have been executed. No security breaches have been identified.”
“Then I’m sorry, but Captain Rogers does not outrank me when it comes to my own robots. Open the door, beautiful.”
She seemed to sigh. “Very well, Mr. Stark.”
Ten perked up, leaning forward slightly. She was watching the door curiously, tilting her head a little when she heard it slide open. Bucky rolled his eyes, grumbling to himself quietly and pulling her up against his side as another alpha strode in. 
“Really? Having a party without me?” the man asked, a smooth, casual air about him as he walked in and looked at everyone on the couches. When his eyes landed on the omega cuddled up next to Bucky, he stopped. “Ah, is this our new guest?”
“Go away, Stark.” Bucky growled. He didn’t like how long the other man’s gaze was lingering on his omega, not when there weren’t any scars on her neck to show who she belonged to.
“Always such a charmer, Barnes.” Tony said, flopping down next to Steve. “Lovely to see you, too. Care to introduce me to your friend? ….No, you’d rather just snarl and forget your words? I knew you were old, but I didn’t realize you were actually a caveman.”
“Tony,” Bruce groaned. “Don’t aggravate him. Please.”
“Why not?” Tony leaned back against the cushions, completely at ease and totally happy to be pressing every one of Bucky’s buttons. 
“Are you Tony Stark?” Ten asked, wiggling out of Bucky’s grip to sit on the edge of their couch. 
Bucky caught her around the waist before she could get very far, though, and dragged her onto his lap. He loomed over her, sneering dangerously at Tony as the other alpha flashed a smile. 
“Bingo.” he said. 
“I never thought I’d meet a Stark,” she admitted. “I always heard about Stark Industries, but I lived too far away from any big cities to ever get to see any of his exhibitions.”
“Ah. You’re from my father’s time. Of course.” Tony shot a pointed glare in Bucky’s direction. “Seems like Bruce left out a few teensy weensy important details on the phone today.”
“Well, it’s been, uh...an ongoing learning experience.” Bruce said sheepishly. 
“Lots of developments, huh?” Tony raised an eyebrow. 
“You could say that.” Steve said under his breath. “We came up here so Ten could be more comfortable while we talk.”
“Oh yeah? What’re we talkin’ about?” Tony asked. 
“They were asking about my time with HYDRA,” she answered, cutting in before anyone else could. “And with...Bucky.”
Saying his name felt odd. Her tongue wasn’t used to it, and her mind wanted to call him alpha, or Winter Soldier. Bucky just seemed so…casual, such a strange thing to call a deadly super soldier. When she heard herself, though, she decided that she definitely didn’t hate it. 
Bucky’s heart gave a little leap at the sound of his name falling from her lips. He wanted her to say it over and over again, in whispers and in screams, for nobody else’s ears but his. 
“...Buck?” Steve asked, pulling him away from his thoughts. “You, uh, kinda zoned out there.”
It wasn’t until Bucky looked at Steve that he realized his eyes had been trained on the omega in his lap. “Yeah?”
“...Is this seriously how you’ve spent the past day and a half?” Tony asked. “Steve, I’m sorry, and I’m sure you’re just trying to be as helpful as you can be, like always, but I think you should let these two get a room.”
Steve looked at him incredulously. “Tony, really? I’m trying to get to the bottom of why exactly HYDRA would abandon the omega they pumped full of super soldier serum. They can get a room later—“
“Yeah, uh, wonder boy? I don’t think your pal is gonna last much longer before he tries to rip our heads off.” Tony nodded towards a very disgruntled Bucky. “You can resume your interrogation tomorrow, Cap.”
Steve looked to Bruce for help, but he only offered a small shrug and stood, heading towards the door. “He’s right, Steve. They deserve some alone time.”
“But—hey!” Steve protested as Bucky picked his omega up, striding past the two alphas sitting on the opposite couch. 
“Thanks for everything, Steve.” Bucky said over his shoulder. 
Ten squirmed, peeking around Bucky’s arm as she was carried away. “Bye, Mr. Stark!”
“Don’t look at him,” Bucky growled as they walked out the door. 
“Did his father really make hoverboards? I heard once that Howard was promising hoverboards—“
“No.” He said flatly. 
“...oh.” She huffed, slumping against him. “Where are we going?”
“My apartment.” Bucky stepped into the elevator, his grip still tight around her. 
The omega perked up. “You have a whole apartment?”
He puffed his chest out a little. “Course I do. Gotta have a nice place for you, don’t I?”
“So I can stay?” Her eyes were bright and happy. “I can stay there, with you, all the time? Not just when you rut?”
He felt a sad little pang in his heart. When he spoke again, his voice was low and soft. “Of course, sweetheart.”
Then, his eyes widened as he realized what he was saying. “I mean, uh...i-if you want to, that is. I know it’s fast and all, and maybe...would you rather have your own room? Or I can stay on the couch—“
“Bucky,” she cut him off with a laugh, a soft hand cupping his jaw. “You’ve been my alpha for seventy years. I’d say we’re actually moving pretty slow.”
His expression relaxed again, lips stretching into a small smile. “Right. Yeah. You’re right.”
They spent the rest of the elevator ride in comfortable silence, Bucky rubbing his scent glands all over her hair. He wanted to make sure that the next time they encountered anyone else, she smelled exactly like him.
Like her alpha.
When the elevator came to a gentle stop at Bucky’s floor, the doors opened, and he stepped out in front of his apartment door. It opened for him, having already scanned his biometrics, revealing a small, but cozy, living room. 
He set his omega down on her feet, watching anxiously as she stepped into his quarters. Did she like it? Fuck, was it too small? It was too small. She probably hated it. Fuck, fuck, fuck...he had to salvage this somehow. 
“Well, uh…” shit, he sounded too nervous. He wanted her to think he was a strong, capable alpha. 
He cleared his throat for another start. “Welcome home, Omega.” 
Wait. That wasn’t right. Should he be calling her that? No, probably not, it sounded too possessive, too uncaring. He wished he just knew her fucking name, or something. 
“I mean…Ten?”
Shit, he sounded so stupid. He wanted to impress her, not...do whatever this was.
She just laughed, though, turning and looking at him with those eyes that sparkled like starlight. “Amoretta. My name is Amoretta.”
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pilothusband · 3 years
Text
The One Where Frankie Didn’t Need a Map
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Gif by @uuuhshiny
Rating: Explicit! 18+!
Pairing: Frankie Morales x F!Reader
Warnings: Some good ol’ fashioned cunnilingus, alcohol consumption, a teensy bit of pining. Unbeta’d, we horny post like men.
Word count: ~1.5k
Description: You confess something to Frankie and he is determined to change your mind on the matter.
You already knew you were in trouble when no one else showed up for the hang out session Frankie had posted about in the group chat. Will had a date with his wife, Benny had training, and Pope had some other plans God knows where.
Here you were, perched on Frankie’s couch, downing a PBR like it was water, trying to get over your own nerves. See, you harbored a not-so-secret crush on Frankie. You were glad Frankie was oblivious to it, not really knowing if he felt the same way.
He had never said or done anything to hint that he felt the same way, but sometimes when you were all out, you caught him looking at you from across the room. Your gaze would meet his, and he’d look away quickly. It was confusing and maddening as hell.
He was a good friend; someone you could tell almost anything and not feel judged. You didn’t want to risk losing him.
After a while, conversation flowed as freely as the cheap beer. You felt your tongue get a little looser, and you noticed Frankie was in the same boat.His hair was a little disheveled, rather adorably, and his face was getting a little pink, his smile a little more ever-present.
Still, you weren’t sure how the conversation turned to sex. You hadn’t broached this subject before in detail, much less when it was just the two of you.
You made a comment about how you hadn’t been dicked down in what felt like decades and he let a laugh.
“I think the thing I miss about having a regular sex partner is just going to town while eating her out.”
You squirmed, feeling incredibly hot under the collar all of a sudden.
“I don’t know, I’ve always wanted to enjoy that, but none of the guys I’ve been with could find the clit even if they had a map.”
Frankie almost spit his beer out at that. He didn’t laugh this time though.
He didn’t respond right away. His brow was furrowed in deep thought. You felt a hot wave of embarrassment wash over you.
“I know, it’s kind of embarrassing,” you started. “I think there’s something wrong with me.” 
You tried to laugh it off, but your voice was small and unsure. Your eyes were cast down at your hands, wringing nervously in your lap. Frankie must have thought you were insane, sharing something this personal with him.
“No,” he said, clearing his throat. “It’s not embarrassing. Not for you, at least.” 
You looked up at him, surprised.
“Those guys, they didn’t know what they were doing,” he said, his arms gesturing wildly. “They were fucking idiots.” 
You huffed out a laugh. Of course he would say that.
“I guarantee you, when you’re with someone who knows what they’re doing, you’ll change your tune.” 
“Yeah,” you said derisively. “We’ll see if that happens. You know my dating history.”
Frankie hummed in agreement and took a pull from his beer. You did the same, looking around the room, trying to find a way to change the subject.
“I could do it,” he said quietly. 
You almost didn’t hear him.You paused for a moment, stomach in knots. 
“What do you mean?” You said warily, unsure if he meant what you think he meant.
“I mean—“ he seemed to be unsure if he should say it. “I could make you come with my mouth.”
You almost gasped at his words, immediately feeling a rush between your legs.
“Do you— do you want to?” You asked. 
You couldn’t tell if he was joking, but this wasn’t something Frankie would normally joke about. If this was Pope or Benny you’d punch their shoulder and tell them to fuck off. But this was Frankie. Your Frankie.
He swallowed thickly, his voice dropping an octave. “More than anything.”
You felt your thighs clench together, squirming in your seat. You really fucking wanted to take him up on the offer, but could your heart handle it? Could you hook up with your best friend and not fall more head over heels for him? 
After a long, pregnant pause you spoke, your voice coming out more breathy than usual.
“Okay.”
Frankie’s head snapped up to meet your gaze.
“Really?”
“Yes. Make me... make me come with your mouth.”
Frankie groaned, a low and deliriously sensual sound coming from deep within him. You felt another wave of arousal wash over you. You bit your lip in anticipation, feeling a little nervous.
“I’ve got you, baby,” Frankie said softly, setting his beer down, grabbing your empty and setting it next to his. 
He cradled your face delicately in his hand and kissed your forehead, your nose, then the corner of your mouth. You didn’t dare breathe, afraid this was all a dream you were about to wake up from.
He moved lower, crouching on the floor in front of the couch. His fingers found the button on your jeans and worked deftly to unbutton them. He ran his hands down to your thighs and then under, motioning for you to get up so he could pull your jeans down. You complied, biting your lip as he slowly peeled them down.
Once they were on the floor haphazardly tossed behind him, Frankie looked back and you and licked his lips. His eyes were glazed over, staring at the seam of your panties. 
You sucked in a breath. Your heart felt as if it was beating out of your chest.
His hand found you there, pressing softly over your clit over the fabric. You made a soft noise in surprise. His thumb rubbed circles over it, finding a delicious rhythm. Your hips started gyrating on their own accord.
“Fuck,” Frankie mumbled under his breath in reverence. “You’re beautiful.”
You moaned in response. There was no way you could come up with any words in the moment. His fingers felt like heaven and he had barely touched you.
His pointer finger slipped under the fabric, seeking out your skin directly.
“You’re so wet for me already,” he breathed out in wonder. You keen in response, too turned on to feel self-conscious.
He removed his finger and sucked it into his mouth, groaning.
“And you taste fucking amazing.”
His fingers found the waistband of your panties, peeling them down your legs.
The hairs on his mustache and beard tickled the inside of your thighs and you found yourself spreading them apart further in anticipation.
Your mind was moving a mile a minute, not quite believing this was really happening.
Your breath hitched as his mouth found its way upwards, finally reaching its destination. Frankie parted his lips, licking a stripe upwards, landing on your clit.
“Oh fuck,” you swore under your breath. 
Frankie grinned in response and started moving his mouth in earnest. His tongue swirled around your clit, flicking over it every other beat. Your hips were grinding into his face and your breath was coming out in pants. His fingers parted your folds while his tongue flicked back and forth over you.
Frankie let out a long moan into your pussy, grabbing onto your ass with his free hand to push you further into his face.
A lock of his curls fell in front of his eyes and you found yourself carding your fingers through his hair to push it back. He closed his eyes at the sensation, letting out another moan.
His mouth and tongue struck a new, harsher rhythm, making your back arch. You pulled the neckline of your shirt down, taking the cup of your bra with it to rub at your nipple, seeking more friction.
Frankie looked up and found you arching your back towards him, thumb circling your exposed nipple and let out the loudest moan.
“Fuck, baby. Play with your tits, just like that. So fucking hot.”
He continued his ministrations, his nose adding a delicious press to your clit as his tongue licked into your pussy.
You felt a familiar sensation start to grow inside you, building with alarming speed.
“Frankie, don’t stop,” you panted out. “I’m gonna come.”
He growled into you in response, continuing to lap at you with abandon.
The wave broke and you cried out, babbling his name over and over again. Your legs were shaking with the strength of your orgasm. Frankie rode you through it, not letting up until your hand flew to his hair.
He looked up at you in a daze, wiping his mouth off on his sleeve before crawling his body up yours, capturing you in a scorching kiss.
Your hands were everywhere— in his hair, on the back of his neck, down towards his chest. You looked down, noticing the considerable bulge in his jeans. You wanted to find out how hot and hard he was more than anything.
His hands found yours, stilling your movements.
“Next time,” he said, his already deep voice sounding even huskier. “This was for you.”
You kissed him again, not quite over how impossibly soft his lips were, and how he tasted like you.
“See, I told you,” he said, huffing out a laugh. “Nothing wrong with you.”
You smiled bashfully, feeling your cheeks heat up.
“Shut up and hand me my pants, Morales.”
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honeymilkk00 · 3 years
Text
Haikyuu Boys: You Flinch
yooooo so my first post on tumblr,,, kinda scary but here goes nothing. if the characters are too ooc i apologise but it’s because this is my first time writing a haikyuu one shot. also i’m fucking obsessed with angst to comfort hmu with some good ones (hopefully i haven’t read them). also pleaseeeee this isn’t an attack on the reader, you all are so fucking gorgeous. i’m trying to write this angst with my personal insecurities in mind so it can be more realistic. remember to drink water and eat 3 meals a day.
characters:
-tanaka
-ushijima
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Tanaka
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Recently, you had noticed a strain in your and Tanaka’s relationship. Of course, you were always pretty self-conscious in the relationship- he always hung out with Kiyoko when he went to practise and spoke about her like she was a goddess.
That didn’t mean you didn’t like Kiyoko. In fact, you looked up to her a lot, heeding her advice every time she spoke to you. But, who wouldn’t be insecure? Kiyoko was everything you were not. She was smart, she was pretty, she was organised, and she had a great personality to go with it. Sometimes, you’d sit thinking that maybe Tanaka would be happier with her. 
And today was one of those days. It was lunch and, as usual, Tanaka was at practise. You didn’t mind and grew pretty accustomed to it, often sitting to the side of the sports hall, watching and cheering. You were happy that your boyfriend had such a deep interest in something. 
As you sat next to the coach, taking small bites out of an apple, you noticed Tanaka’s wondering gaze. Following his eyes, you frowned slightly when you noticed him staring at Kiyoko with a small blush on his face. An uneasy feeling in your gut made you stop eating, just watching. When Tanaka walked over to her and tucked her hair behind her ear after helping her pick up spare balls, you felt bile rise in your throat. Suffocating. It felt like suffocating as you watched your boyfriend touch and blush around your friend whilst right in front of you. 
Biting your lip nervously, you packed away your lunch and stood up. There was still 10 minutes left of lunch. If Tanaka asked, you could’ve dismissed it as simply wanting to get to class early. Nodding to Coach Ukai and Daichi, you swiftly exited the sports hall and walked to your next lesson.
_
Somehow, you had avoided Tanaka for the rest of the day. You knew you were probably overreacting, but the way he looked at her with such a loving gaze made you feel sick. He didn’t even look at you with that much compassion, and you were his girlfriend. 
So, you slung your backpack over your shoulders and made your way home. Normally, you would walk with your boyfriend, but not today. It was silent without Tanaka making small comments here and there and laughing. Insecure thoughts filled your mind, and, with no one to distract you from them, you listened.
You listened to every single thought that crossed your mind.
Why were you not pretty enough?
Why did Tanaka love Kiyoko more than he loved you?
Why were you so petty?
Why were you running away instead of talking to him?
Why were you not good enough?
You swallowed the bile that slowly rose in your throat and looked down at your hands that clenched together.
Just get over it. You can’t be better than her. 
A hand placed on your shoulder, snapping you out of your thoughts. Swiftly, you head diverted to look at whoever touched you right in the eyes. 
Shit.
“Hey, you’ve been ignoring me since lunch. Did something happen? Why are you walking home without me?” Tanaka let go of your shoulder and raised a curious brow at you.
You weren’t ready to talk to him yet.
Forcing a smile, you looked down at your hands instead of his gaze-his piercing gaze that left you weak and helpless. “Nothing is wrong,” you started, pausing for a second to recollect your thoughts. “I just wanted to get to class quickly after lunch... And I was walking home by myself because I have a lot of homework to do.” You lied smoothly, but of course, Tanaka saw through it.
Narrowing his eyes slightly, Tanaka sighed and tilted his head, “are you going to tell your boyfriend the truth or continue to lie straight to my face? We’re partners- a team- you’re meant to trust me and communicate. Wasn’t it you who said that was important?” His voice gradually got louder with every sentence, his patience wearing thin. 
You looked back at him and opened your mouth, before closing it. Of course, trust and communication is key in relationships but... Your eyes glanced up at Tanaka. Opening your mouth again, you spoke, “It’s just...” You started and licked your lips, taking a deep breath, “You seem to be close with Kiyoko. Very close..” You whispered the last bit, but he still caught it. 
Clenching his fists, Tanaka frowned, “well excuse me, but she’s been my friend longer than I’ve dated you. I don’t see why it’s an issues now.” His voice was firm and loud, making you shrink into yourself.
“I get that, I do. But you can’t just get all close like blushing and tucking her hair behind her ear when you’re in a relationship.” You tried to reason with him. Yes, you know they were friends longer than you and Tanaka had been in a relationship and you respected that. That was why you never mentioned anything before. 
Tanaka made a ‘tch’ sound and took in a deep breath, glaring down at you. Like this, he looked like an alpha- strong, in charge, dominant. In normal circumstances, you might’ve blushed or even squirmed, but in this situation, all you felt was your fight or flight impulse going crazy. “Well I’m sorry, but just because you’re insecure about yourself doesn’t mean you can be a selfish bitch! Grow up (Y/n)!”
That was what made you snap.
“Excuse me!? Tanaka, you told me to communicate and so I did, but when I do my opinions and feelings are immediately shut down!? I’m not saying you can’t be friends with Kiyoko! You can! Just please don’t keep touching her intimately because it makes me think you’d rather be with her!” You shouted back.
Letting out a deep growl, Tanaka leaned over you with a menacing glare and quickly lifted his hand, which made you flinch violently and close your eyes tightly, lifting you arms to shield yourself. 
Snapping out of his rage, Tanaka’s eyes widened.
You flinched. You flinched at him.
Did you seriously think he was going to hit you? 
Taking a shaky breath, he gently placed a hand on your cheek, which made you flinch more and slowly open your eyes to look into his. Your eyes held nothing but pure fear. You couldn’t help it- Tanaka was big, strong and intimidating. Tears gathered in the corners of your eyes.
“Please don’t look at me like that, baby.. I’m sorry.. I’ll never hit you.” Tanaka whispered softly and pulled you in for a gentle hug. “I’m so sorry I scared you like that..” He murmured lightly.
Shakily, you took a breath, letting your tears slip down your cheeks. “Ngh.. ‘M sorry I annoyed you Tana...” You whispered softly, crying into his shoulder. “’M just... Scared. Kiyoko is beautiful and has the best personality and I’m just... Me.” You admitted, finally calming down when you realised that Tanaka would never ever hurt you, no matter how much you angered him.
Tanaka’s eyes softened and he gently stroke your hair. “Exactly. You’re you. That’s why I love you, baby.” He whispered gently and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. 
Slowly, you leaned into his touch more, “Okay...”
Tanaka sighed gently, “I didn’t realise I was being too touchy with her, but I’ll stop for you baby. I love you.”
“I love you too.” You smiled weakly back.
“Icecream?” He asked.
“Please.”
__________________________________
Ushijima
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You always knew volleyball was his passion. It was his everything, and you respected that. 
Still though, when you became his girlfriend, you thought that maybe you’d at least tie with volleyball in importance. However, you soon realised three months into the relationship that what you believed didn’t seem to be the case. In fact, it seemed as if you were more of a chore for Ushijima than something he enjoyed spending his time on. 
Eventually, it all got too much.
You watched him practise from the side-lines, frowning since he barely even glanced at you, let alone said hello. Of course, you didn’t mind. He was focused on practising, so it would make sense if he didn’t acknowledge you.
Ushijima paused his practise to get a small drink and you took this opportunity to encourage him and drop off his lunch since he had a tendency to forget his. “Ushi, you’re doing so-” You started, but was soon cut off by your blunt lover.
“(Y/N), can’t you see I’m focusing right now? I’ll talk later, but right now volleyball is all that matters. You’re irrelevant right now.” He retorted swiftly, before shrugging you off and going back to practise his spikes. 
Biting your lip slightly, you swallowed thickly and looked down at your feet in shame. Those words hurt, even if they weren’t the most aggressive. Maybe he did only see you as a burden. The thought made you shiver and deepen your frown. The last thing you wanted was to hold your boyfriend back, even if it hurt you. Taking one last glance at Ushijima, you set his lunch down by his bottle and turned away, hiding the tears in your eyes by looking at the ground. 
It felt as if someone was squeezing your heart in your chest, and a lump soon formed in your throat. You choked on a sob and headed home, turning off your phone completely. 
Once you had reached the comfort of your house, you collapsed on your bed and sobbed silently into a pillow, curling tightly into a small ball. 
_
You were unsure as to how long you had been crying for, but you soon awoke from a slumber when you felt the bed dip and a large arm wrap around your waist. Biting your lip, you turned your head to come face to face with Ushiwaka. “Ushi...” You whispered quietly.
“My love, you have been crying. Your eyes are red and puffy.” He stated and frowned lightly. “What happened?” The male gently brushed his thumb against your hip, caressing it tenderly.
Tensing up, you sat up and pushed his hand away lightly. “Ushijima..” You started and looked down, clenching your fists together. “Is volleyball really that important to you..?” You whispered out, barely loud enough for him to hear.
The brute frowned and also sat up, narrowing his eyes slightly, “(Y/N), why are you so annoyed over my passion?” He asked and let out a scoff. “What, are you jealous of a ball? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?” Ushijima’s voice raised slightly, but he soon shut up when he noticed you flinch and sink deeper into the bed. 
You avoided eye contact from your lover and gripped the sheets tightly in your hand, “’M sorry..” You whispered out as tears filled your vision. “Maybe I am being ridiculous.. I just think that...” You choked on a sob. “That you’d be better off with someone else. All I seem to do is hold you back from doing what you love. ‘M just a pain..” Hurt filled your voice and you swallowed thickly.
Ushijima’s eyes widened slightly and he frowned, gently taking your hands into his large ones. “Darling... You are all I want. I am sorry if those comments I said earlier made you feel insecure, but I truly do care for you. You are the only person I want in my life.” Gently, he placed his forehead on yours and kissed away your tears. “You are anything but a pain, my love.”
Looking into your boyfriend’s eyes, you smiled lightly and pressed your lips against his delicately. “You’re forgiven, Ushi..”
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