#and he had been revealed 10 min earlier... my mind just knew it would be happening

[milk-sharks]

disgruntled guy

#skywarp #my art #transformers #maccadam #btw earlier today i was standing in the middle of a river and felt the sudden urge to look at the skybound twitter page #and he had been revealed 10 min earlier... my mind just knew it would be happening #(i had a 6 hour canoe trip today for work whichis why i was in a river)

[teresa-moyocoyotzin]

short recap of my thoughts on 5x09

okay so i was gonna rewatch the whole episode and do a blow-by-blow reaction post but i’m not sure i’ll have time and i kinda wanna focus on watching my fave scenes from the show before tonight. also, everyone else’s reaction posts p. much sum up my thoughts lol 

nonetheless, i just wanted to give my main takeaways on the episode a week later, in case anyone cares where i’m at going into the finale! gonna go over the things i liked first, anyone who wants to just remain positive and not see any salty takes might wanna just stick to reading the first part b/c i definitely rant a bit at the end lmao. we’re still having a fun time tho 😂

THINGS I LOVED

- i mean... i think we know LOL

- obviously. i loved james and teresa’s i love you scenes, and kisses, and OOF THAT SEX SCENE. if someone had told me we were gonna get that scene back in like 2017??? i probably would have started literally floating. i totally respect that people had very specific ideas of what they wanted out of those scenes and could have different feelings about it but NOT ME BABES I AM ECSTATIC!!! i did go into the episode with a ~feeling~ that we were gonna get at least one ILY in the episode, and i just had a feeling it would be james, or at least that he would say it first. i’ve already explained in my meta about the scenes why i think it makes sense that he said it first and why i love it that he did, so i won’t go into that here. but i went in having really no expectations for it other than that it was gonna happen! i was debating about whether it would happen really casually while they’re talking, or in like a big action scene, or really dramatic or what, and what i would prefer, and i came to the conclusion that i would love it no matter what lol, but i was really into the idea of james just. fucking. saying it. while they’re just talking about something really casually. so therefore i was pretty happy with it when we got sort of a mix! they’re talking about teresa’s insane death trap of a plan so there’s that drama of “i don’t want to lose you esp. not before saying ILY” kinda thing, but it’s also just. so simple and sure! and then teresa’s i love you is like the perfect scene for me where one character is super focused on something else (in this case, trying to protect the woman he loves! agh!) and the other is just like.. i love you!!!! SO GOOD

- let’s see, what the hell else happened in this ep?

- oh okay i really liked james and teresa’s vibes this episode, they were so focused on each other and had this very ride-or-die feeling about them like they knew that each of their plans was increasingly stupid and desperate and might not even get them where they wanna go, but they were IN IT TOGETHER no matter what 😭i wish we had gotten a callback to that line but at this point, i’m p. sure they Know they’re in it together, and we do too. so it’s okay. i love that teresa still asks his input and considers his opinions even if she does her own thing anyways haha 

- oh on that note, i LOVED the moment where their plans to kill Kostya aren’t working and Teresa says something like “If I can meet with him in person, I can kill him myself” and James just has this LOOK that just is the epitome of the “I am in love with a women who is DESIGNED TO STRESS ME OUT” meme lol, it made me giggle, v classic QOTS moment 

- oh and of course, I LOVED that scene with devon and james at the end!!!!!!!! i was also confused about how james was showing all his emotions in that scene esp. since he tries to be stoic about his feelings for Teresa around Devon, but now that i’ve read a few people’s thoughts about, it i’m fully on board w the theory that james and teresa already knew this was coming, b/c they’re smart, and b/c james knows devon wouldn’t have let him walk away to save Teresa at the beginning of the season without motivation (like having him in place to kill her when she’s no longer useful to the CIA) and THEREFORE james was sort of “overacting” to make it believable to devon (and the audience lol) that he didn’t know this was coming, didn’t want to do it, but felt like he had to, rather than the fact that they were already plotting a fake death. that makes a lot of sense to me and makes me really love all the layers to that scene. it does give me a little bit of hope that the finale ~teresa’s not really dead~ reveal will be at least a little well executed and not just shoved in at the very end. we shall see though! 

- alright i think that’s what i loved about the episode, if u don’t wanna hear me bitching about the little things then u should probably stop here!! just have to get out some of my saltiness lol 

THINGS I WAS ANNOYED ABOUT

- i’m just gonna get it out of the way, yes, i too was supremely annoyed at the amount of KA and Pote take suburbia; it was all 1000% predictable down to the raccoon and the cookies, and the point could have been accomplished in exactly 1 scene, maybe 2, certainly not like 10 or however many we got. whatever. ugh. 

- okay. OKAY. chicho. we need to talk about chicho. i for one, am not mad that he called pote, my boy was stressed. I AM HOWEVER, mad at the writers for making pote come back after saying he trusted chicho to take care of teresa now. like. it totally devalued THE WHOLE THING!! imo, pote shoulda stayed his ass at home where we had to watch him settle all episode, and chicho should have gotten THE HERO MOMENT HE DESERVED (esp. cuz he’s on first name basis w teresa now??) which ALSO WOULD HAVE MADE THE SCENE WHERE TERESA GIVES CHICHO THE DISTILLERY AND THE BAR SO! MUCH! MORE! MEANINGFUL!!!!! or just made it make sense at all? like .... i’m just so confused by that whole plotline like what was the point? chicho does nothing but call pote and gets T’s whole legacy in NOLA? 

- and don’t even get me started on how it makes ZERO sense that pote would have had to charge in at the last minute to save teresa when JAMES THE SNIPER W AMAZING AIM WHO IS LITERALLY. IN LOVE WITH HER. is standing outside like. ur telling me james and chicho (who again, is supposed to be her #2 after james now) just stood there like “oh hey pote yeah you go ahead we’ll wait here good luck” like WHAT also.. how did pote get past all the guards that made james stay outside? are we meant to believe pote is that sneaky? y’all. it just. doesn’t make sense. this whole plot situation maddens me more than anythings tbh UGH JUST MAKE IT MAKE SENSE 

- oksana’s daughter..... what’s her name again? idk b/c we only MET HER THIS WEEK....okay this amuses me but i’m also annoyed b/c like. there were so many other women who could have taken that spot in the opening sequence... Lil T, Castel, hell even Isabela??? Like idk how they could have done it but they put so much effort into her plot in the first seasons that i really thought she was gonna end up w/ Teresa in the end.. idk that would have been kind cool, Camila’s two “daughters” eventually working their way out of the life together..again idk how they could have realistically done it but i really do wish it had been someone we met before. if it had to be someone new this season, they could have introduced her earlier instead of one of the seemingly dozens of random guys we knew for 1 episode before they died... like.. give her some depth please. is she even gonna be in the finale? honestly she better be after making us listen to pote welcome her into the family... like the family u were supposed to leave so u could have an actual baby pote? the family that’s literally dispersing as we speak? also.. since when did pote love oksana so much anyways? also...... just.. if teresa’s gonna have some sort of daughter figure or whatever she’s supposed to be, wouldn’t it make sense to have her be the one to give the big welcome to the family speech? idk y’all..... i’m amused but also baffled at the sheer lack of planning behind this. did no one realize they needed someone for the opening scene until like. halfway thru the season? did they plan to have it be castel but they couldn’t get her for filming (hence all the weird castel plots?) INQUIRING MINDS WOULD LIKE TO KNOW. it’s whatever tho lol 

- i just hope that what’s-her-name gets a lil bit of plot in the finale esp. since otherwise it might just be pote running around being pissy (i don’t actually think that haha but i am a lil nervous that teresa won’t come back until the last few mins and i’ll have to spend all episode looking at boaz and devon and pote and KA.. i haven’t looked at any spoilers tho so i’m still hopeful! i will probably make a post about my hopes going into the finale a lil later, both realistic and unrealistic :) 

#ik it's all been said before but i just had to get my feelings out before i could move on to the finale #the finale!!! wow.. crazy shit y'all #qots #queen of the south #jeresa #qots 5x09

[imfires333]

Natural | JHS

Summary: “I'm here for BTS. My friend is the drummer.”

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

You looked at yourself in the mirror, turning around to admire the outfit you chose for tonight’s show. The jeans hugged your hips perfectly, accentuating your curves in all the right places. You were wearing a T-shirt from your favorite band, Chon, that had a simple design with the band’s name on the front and a serene picture on the back. Rings glittered on your fingers as you threw your cardigan over your shoulders. Your bangs fell on your forehead just how you wanted them to, the rest of your hair pulled into a messy bun on the top of your head. Earrings flashed up your ear, reminding you of your newest addition on your cartilage that you wanted to show off. Lastly, you checked that your makeup had not gotten smudged in the last ten minutes, and you smiled at the person in the mirror, watching her your exact movements.

Snatching your phone from your bed and throwing it in your purse, you moved to the front door of your apartment and slid your pink sneakers on, one of your many pairs of Vans. Your cat slinked around your legs as if to ask you what you were up to, and you patted her on the head before crossing the threshold and locking the door behind you. If you didn’t hurry, you would be late to the show.

Your friend Hoseok played drums for a band he started in college, and it was his show that you were on your way to. The two of you had known each other for a few years through the School of Music at your university, and you’d only started getting closer over the past few months because of an interaction you’d had on Twitter. Now every time you’d get a message from him asking to hang out, your stomach did backflips and you’d waste no time in replying positively. Excitement bubbled in your chest at the thought of seeing him performing at a café downtown. There were going to be a few other local bands there, and his would be the second to last to play, scheduled at 9:30.

After circling the streets for ages, you finally backed into a spot and parked the car. The parking lot you were in had several streetlights shining above it, one flickering ominously. You locked the car and hurried in the direction your phone’s map pointed you to, finding yourself standing before a large building that the café would be in. You checked the time—9:25—and pushed the door open. Signs pointed you to the elevator, and you took it to the fourth floor.

The elevator doors slid open to show two girls sitting behind a table with a large money box in front of them. They smiled at you, and you coughed up the $10 admission, prepared to go behind them and into the café where you would find Hoseok and his band.

“Who are you here to see?” one of the girls suddenly asked before you managed to escape. She was dark-haired and wore the T-shirt of another band you liked, so you decided you liked her and would try not to be too awkward with her.

“I’m here for BTS,” you replied. “My friend is the drummer.”

At that, the girl clapped her hands excitedly while the other girl running the table looked at you with wide eyes. “You’re friends with him? He’s so hot!” she whispered, covering her mouth. The other girl looked at her and nodded her head up and down, enthusiastically agreeing.

“We saw him come in earlier with his stuff. Well, he came in a lot of times. He brought up a lot of bags,” the first girl said. “We offered to help him, but he said he didn’t need it. It was fine with us because we could see him more,” she giggled.

You smiled sweetly at the girl, hoping that they didn’t notice your nostrils flaring. “Yeah, well I’m gonna go inside now. I’ll see you later!” you said with a wave. They returned the gesture before you turned and walked into the café.

Guitar music was playing loudly through the amps at the back of the room. Sitting on his throne and fiddling with something on top of his cymbal, Hoseok was there, finishing setting up. His hair was hanging in his eyes, and he sat up, pushing it back to reveal his forehead. Two of his bandmates, Namjoon and Yoongi, were on the tiny stage with him. They seemed to be talking to each other, Yoongi flipping a water bottle in his hand, Namjoon tapping his foot with his bass hanging around his neck. Their other bandmate, Jeongguk, was sitting at the edge of the stage, on knee bent to his chest, the other straight, like he was about to trip anyone who came near his stage. He brought a wine glass to his lips, making you wonder how it would affect his performance.

Cutting in between people, you made your way to the coffee bar…which sold more wine than coffee, and that was not a problem. You skimmed the chalkboard behind the barista/bartender and asked for a cabernet. She poured a glass for you, and you traded your money for it. You turned around, glass in hand, and navigated through the crowd of people, managing to snatch a spot that somebody had just vacated against the wall near the stage.

“Hoseok!” you called out to him.

The owner of the name looked in your direction and found you. His face lit up, showing a bright smile and waving eagerly to you. Picking up a glass of red wine, Hoseok snaked over to you and pulled you into a hug. Your face landed in the crook of his neck, and his cologne infiltrated your senses, paralyzing you momentarily. You relaxed into his hug and wrapped your arms around his neck. While one arm held his wine, the other was around your waist, and he squeezed you tightly before releasing you.

“Hey, I’m so glad you came!” he said with the excitement of a 7-year-old in a bouncy house. He was bobbing up and down on his heels, the anticipation of performing running through him.

“Well yeah, I wanted to see some of your own music, not just covers,” you said, jabbing his shoulder lightly. Lately, he had been texting you a lot, asking for recommendations on what songs he should cover on drums. You’ve provided him with many songs covering a variety of genres, and he’s responded with videos of himself playing along to the songs recorded on his phone. You knew that he wrote music for his band, but you hadn’t heard much of it because they were slow to upload them to streaming services, not caring too much about getting plays. They were in it for the fun of it, not relying on it to get them anywhere in life. Each of the band members had jobs and lives they focused on outside of their band, but they managed to make time for shows like this one.

Hoseok smirked. “You know you love the covers anyway. But listen, we’re about to start, so I’ll catch you later—obviously, this café is so small,” he said, looking at his surroundings. “Enjoy!” He gave you a wink before walking over to join his bandmates.

“Our next band is BTS!” a voice came on over the speaker, taking the opportunity to introduce the band. The voice belonged to Kim Seokjin, the MC for the night. You’d frequently seen him at other shows, where you occasionally talked about the bands you’d be seeing, so it was nice to see another familiar face in this new environment. “They’re made up of Jeon Jeongguk on the mic, Min Yoongi on the keyboard and guitar, Kim Namjoon on the bass, and Jung Hoseok back there on the drums. Let’s give it up for BTS!”

The café erupted into applause as the first chord of the guitar ripped through the room. Your first time seeing them live, you carefully listened to the melodies and tried to decipher the lyrics. Jeongguk’s voice was smoother than you had expected it to be, the words coming out like honey. Yoongi was able to multitask well, taking turns between the guitar for most of the set and the keyboard for softer parts. Namjoon’s face was glowing, seemingly loving the feeling of playing. Then you found yourself studying Hoseok. His hands and wrists moved quickly, never missing a beat. His legs jumped up and down with every hit on the bass drum and hi-hat. Nothing could beat the look on his face when he was doing a difficult run, his mouth agape and eyes slightly closed, which made you smile to yourself. Between songs, his shoulders heaved up and down while he wiped the sweat off his brow with a towel. But every time they would start playing again, Hoseok jumped right back in, energized like never before.

Before you knew it, their set was over, and the crowd was clapping wildly. You joined them, feeling like you were on cloud nine from being part of the experience. The band had great music and an entertaining stage presence, but you had been especially focused on your friend Hoseok pounding on the drums. BTS stood at the front of the stage and thanked the audience, bowing and clapping with you. The drummer went back to a spot next to the stage and brought round bags to where he had been moments previous. He sat behind the kit and started taking things apart, and you jumped up out of your seat.

“Want some help with that?” you asked, looking down at him as he was focused on spinning his finger around the top of a cymbal. From this height, you could see the sweat falling from the tips of his hair and dripping down his neck. His shirt was also a little wet from the work he put in, causing your mind to temporarily drift elsewhere, to a place that was not the café.

Immediately, his face split into a grin as he gazed up at you. “That’d be nice! Can you just take these little twisty things off to separate the pieces? I can handle putting them in the bags.” He gestured to the clutch his fingers were pinching.

The two of you worked on his drum set, talking about how his show was while moving as quickly as you could so that the last band could get ready. After the last bag was zipped up, the rest of his bandmates were back from loading their own instruments into their cars with Jeongguk helping Yoongi, the multitasker. In one trip, the five of you carried the disassembled kit to Hoseok’s car and squished them in the backseat and trunk. Hoseok brushed his hands off, and the other boys rushed back to the building to avoid missing the last band, leaving him behind with you.

“Thanks, Y/N,” he said gratefully. “The worst part about a show is it ending and doing all that. Was that your first time taking apart a drum set? You were pretty fast.”

You shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly. “What can I say? I’ve got fast hands. I’m a natural for things like this.”

Hoseok raised an eyebrow. “Oh? What other things can you do with your hands?” He stared you down jokingly, not expecting you to do anything besides play with him.

“Well…” you started, a mischievous twinkle in your eye. “I’m pretty good at…this!” You reached out into the dark and found his hand, taking it in yours. Under the lights of the parking lot, Hoseok’s face was hard to see, but you couldn’t miss the little squeak of surprise that he let escape. He recovered quickly though, and you could see a smile take over his face as he squeezed your hand back. You giggled at the various reactions Hoseok went through.

“I think I could get used to that,” he said, his voice low and husky, as if it could take back the squeak from his mouth. “Do you mind if I show you what I’m a natural at?”

You nodded shyly, looking up at him from beneath your eyelashes, and saw his face coming closer to you, his dark eyes watching you carefully. Your eyes fell closed, and finally, his lips pressed against yours, the two of you softly melding together. The taste of cabernet filled your head, and you drank him in, loving the feeling of this man against you, one hand on your face, the other still holding your own hand.

“ARE Y’ALL DONE? YOUR’E GONNA MISS THE WHOLE SET!” a voice called out. You broke apart, the blood rushing up to color your cheeks. The two of you looked behind Hoseok and saw the three boys on the steps to the building. Yoongi was leaning against the railing, Jeongguk had his hands covering his eyes, and Namjoon had a hand over his mouth, hiding a smile.

Hoseok looked back at you, unfazed by having been caught by his bandmates. He took your hand and pulled you their direction. “Let’s not miss more, shall we?”

#bts #bangtan #bangtansonyeondan #jhope #hoseok #jung hoseok #hoseok fluff #bts fanfic #bts fluff #rock band au #jungkook #rm #namjoon #yoongi #suga #drummer #drummer!hoseok

[just-a-friend-but-not-really]

Some things are better left unsaid. Some things aren’t.

Let’s just say things could be better. A lot better. To be fair, the akuma left her no choice but to transform. It had been extremely violent too. But no matter how much she justified her action, there was still a part of her that didn’t think it was fair. What was she supposed to do? Just let the akuma attack her classmates because she couldn’t sneak away? No, under no circumstances would she allow that to happen.

Her class had been trapped in the locker room. A changing room, some might say. And oh boy did things change. The akuma had been blocking her only way out, and it was a new protocol that no one left the teachers sight during an attack. The big-and-scary-looking akuma had thrown her against the lockers and she had felt something crack. When her classmates had rushed to her side, the akuma threatened them. Just because Ladybug hadn’t shown up. With good reason too, but it didn’t know that. All she remembered was telling her class that they were going to have to keep a secret. And then the cleansing cure. Everything else had happened in a blur.

At least Adrien hadn’t been there. She wasn’t ready for that conversation yet. She had already had to talk to everyone but Lila. That was a bit disappointing. But at least her classmates knew Lila was lying.

Alya had quickly gone from reporter to best friend. Marinette didn’t know if she was a fan of that. Talking about her life as Ladybug so casually was both a relief but definitely something she had to get used to. But with her classmates at her side, it was much easier.  Well mostly. It was so much easier ignoring her growing feelings for Chat when it was just her and Tikki. Now with Alya at her side, who is excellent at reading people, it was a bit harder.

“I have to tell him.” It had been just about 11 hours since she revealed herself to her class. During those 11 hours Alya barely let her take a step without her. Right know they were sitting in Marinette’s room discussing the weirdest akumas when it hit her.

“Who? What? Cause if we’re talking about telling Hawkmoth his fashion sense sucks, then yeah, you tell him.” It was getting dark outside. Marinette looked at the clock and felt a slight hint of panic. It was 8.36pm. Patrol started half an hour ago.

“Oh shoot! Alya, you gotta go home. I’m late for patrol!”

10 min later

The wind was hitting her face in a way that she didn’t have the time nor the energy to admire. She just hoped Chat didn’t think she ditched him. Now she just had to find hi-Oh there he was.

Sitting on a roof. No, sitting on their roof. It was the roof they always stop by after patrol. He was sitting there. Waiting for her. It made her heart do stupid-fluttery things. Damn that boy.

“Oh gosh, I am so sorry Chat! Ididn’tnoticewhatthetimewasandIwastalkingwithmyfriendbutIshouldhavebeenmorecarefularoundthetimeandIneedtotalktoyou!” She jumped over some roofs and barely landed on her feet.

“OH, Thank Kwamis you’re okay! I was so worried!” He rushed to her and hugged her tightly. It made her feel safe. It was nice. “You weren’t answering my calls and I couldn’t track you. But you’re here now, and you’re okay. That’s good” She should probably comfort him, but it had taken every bit of courage to tell him, so her focus was a bit off.

“Chat?” Her eyes met his and while hers were filled with nervous excitement, his were filled with relief. It gave her a bit more courage. His hands started rubbing her back, not letting go from the hug. “Do you still want to know who I am?”

He stopped. He pulled away. Oh no this was bad. What if he didn’t want to know anymore? What if he was going to be mad that she revealed herself to her class before him? Wait no this was Chat, he would understand.

“I thought we weren’t allowed to know?” A question to her question. Like he was questioning the very world they stood in. His normal confident voice had gone quiet. It did not calm her. What she wouldn’t do for one of his stupid puns right about now.

“Since I’m the guardian now, I make the rules. Also, I messed up today.” She didn’t know what to do with her hands, so she started walking around on the roof. Never far away from him. “Do you remember the akuma earlier today?”

“The big ugly one? Yeah it rings a bell” He flicked his bell for effect. She allowed herself to enjoy the moment and let out a chuckle.

“Yeah that one. I got trapped with my class and was unable to sneak away. He was going crazy and he was about to hurt everyone of them,” She looked at him and saw that he was coming closer, she started slowly walking towards him too. He was looking at her with such understanding that she knew he knew what was coming. She sighed. “I had to do it.”

“I know” Her arms were around him faster than ever before. They stood there for a minute. Or five. Or an hour. To be honest she wasn’t sure how long it had been.

“It’s still dangerous for us to know, but I just felt bad that the person I trust most in the world didn’t know.” Without an akuma to take up her attention, she had to admit Chat looked really good.

“So how are we gonna do this? You tell me, and I don’t tell you? That doesn’t seem fair bugaboo” He was right. It wasn’t fair. But they would have to deal with that later. “But if that’s how you want it, that’s how we’re gonna do it.”

“Thank you Chat. Okay well here goes nothing,” With only him there with her, her mind started flooding with memories of them, together. And she hoped- no prayed that this would only change things for the better. “Spots off” And just like that she was enveloped in pink light. Gone just as fast as it had arrived. Where Ladybug had been standing stood Marinette.

Chat stood frozen. Should she say something? Tikki had already flown into her purse, so no help from her. Her eyes darted to the floor. Was he disappointed? She didn’t know what to do if that was the case! Maybe this had been a mistake. She should just leave and forget all about this horrible, horrible day-

“I really want to kiss you right know” It sounded like he hadn’t meant to say it. And by the looks of him, he definitely hadn’t meant to say it. But he had and she wanted him to own it. To mean it, her mind supplied. His face had gone red but he tamed his blush. “That is, if you’d let me?”

If she’d let him? 

“I would-or I will, no I am- I am letting you kiss me.” Their hands met and he held hers gently. She loved the way her hand fit into his. Like it had been molded for it. Perfect.

His lips met hers. It wasn’t forceful or needy, it was soft and caressing. His hands found her waist and he pulled her closer. He leaned in to her and she guided his face as if there was room for Jesus. There wasn’t. When he held her, she felt safe. Like nothing in the world could harm her. She never wanted to stop feeling like this. Like..Like she was in love. Which she was. She was so in love that it surprised even her. The way she needed him and he needed her. In sync. In harmony. In love.

His lips left hers, and she felt both waves of relief and sadness. Sad that the kiss ended but relieved that she could finally catch her breath. 

That was without a doubt, the best thing she’d ever done(and being a superhero, the bar was pretty high). “I want you to know, Alya is definitely going to hear about this” she panted. He let out a soft chuckle and she wondered how he had all that spare breath. 

“Are you going to tell her about every time I kiss you?” His eyes met hers, and she felt herself falling in love once again. Who let this boy be both attractive and a great kisser?

“That depends on how often you plan to kiss me,” She teased him, but was it really teasing if she truly meant it?  

“And that, my lady, truly depends on how often you’d let me.” She felt herself becoming braver.

“How about we find out, mon chaton?”

The rest of the night was filled with kisses, promises and swollen lips. And if you asked her if that was a hickey on her neck, she would smile knowingly at you and simply say yes.

#marinette dupain cheng #Marichat #adrien agreste #ml fic #ladynoir #miraculous ladybug #ml ladybug

[kpopisthereasonihavenolife]

Always

BTS

Min Yoongi/Reader [F]

Genre: Drabble, Mafia AU, Strangers-Lovers

Words: 2.3k

“It’s just so hard not to fall in love with you.”

XXX

“And who is this?” Yoongi sat kicked back in his chair as he crossed his legs under his desk.  Two of his men just walked into his office, more like burst and stomped it as they dragged someone with them.  

A woman.  Her hair was a mess as a scowl painted her face.  Her lip was split and a cut bled on her eyebrow as a shiner was forming under her left eye.  She snarled at the man who held her hands behind her back and shoved her forward as she bit at the hand of the other man who shoved her head forward.  

Yoongi ticked his brow up as he interlaced his fingers together to rest on his lap.  

“Sir, this woman was found assaulting a four-man unit and proceeded to fight and resist against us upon capture.”  You jerked at your hand, hoping to free yourself.  The man who held your wrists just tightened his hold, making you wince as you bent involuntarily due to the pain.  You squirmed. 

“Assaulting a four-man unit? Which one,” Yoongi questioned. 

“The one you assigned earlier this week for surveillance in the Southern Districts, Sir.” Yoongi hummed.  This woman looked like a wreck.  Shorts with pocket no deeper than her fingers and a shirt all torn into shreds at the ends.  Though, the twin garter hostlers attached to her thighs caught his attention. 

“She was armed?” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Where are her weapons.  I’d like to see them for myself if you wouldn’t mind.”  Yoongi stood from his chair as you shifted your attention from the goons holding you to the man waltzing up to your held back position.  “You both are dismissed.  Leave the woman with me and fetch her firearms immediately.”  

“B-but, Sir-”

“Did I stutter?” His eyes pierced up at the man who was easily twice his size as he peered through the slits in his mint bangs.  The man released you and quickly retreated with his partner out of the office.  

Yoongi looked at you again. You were on edge, in a defensive stance just in case he decided to pounce on you. Your arms out just enough to grab him and put him in some measly hold and legs bent and ready to move if the need arises.  

“Be at ease, I have no intention of causing you harm.  It was not my intent to get anyone involved in a surveillance job. So, put your teeth away; you look like a dog.” Yoongi stepped backward until his rear hit his desk and he leaned against it.  Crossing his ankles in front of him as he placed his hands on his desk to support him. 

You did seem to relax at the distance he place, but not completely.  Of course, it was to be expected.  No one would be relaxed when they were dragged into Mafia Territory and straight into the lion’s den. 

“How did you lose your guns?” Yoongi asked.  You straightened your posture as you placed each hand on each of your empty holsters.  

“Your stupid little lap dogs took them from me.  It’s what started this whole mess,” you seethed.  Even steeped in anger, Yoongi was surprised to find you had a rather pleasant voice. “If they would’ve just left me alone, we wouldn’t be discussing this.”  You tutted as you looked away to direct your glare elsewhere.  “Apparently some of your men have a problem with a woman carrying weapons.  When they tried to take them from me, I decided to use them.”  

Yoongi burst out into laughter.  The unit he had sent out was a small ragtag group of men who really didn’t specialize in anything.  Just thinking about one of them trying to disarm a woman who offered no harm brought a laugh to bubble out of his gut.  As he held his stomach his office door opened and soon a well-dressed man with your guns entered.  

He was young, taller than you by a bit and walked towards Yoongi like he’d known him all his life.  

“Sounds like a party in here,” he said as he moved to stand beside the mafia boss.  “Here you are, two pretty guns that belong to a pretty lady just as you asked.” The man looked over his shoulder and winked at you.  You were speechless, unable to figure out how you should react to that.  

Yoongi swiped your guns as he looked them over.  “Stop flirting and save it for another time, Hoseok.” As Yoongi examined your guns, Hoseok danced over to you in an overly familiar fashion as he got right up in your business.  

“So, you’re the chick-"

“Manners,” Yoongi interrupted. 

“Sorry, the woman that knocked out our survey unit huh?  Wow, you're younger than I thought.”  He crouched down and started poking at your thighs and pulling on your hostler straps and making them snap against your skin.  “Wow, this is pretty durable fabric, how’d you get that!”  You kicked at Hoseok as he now sat on his rear as your face flared in a red hue. 

“Get off my dick!  Just because you have my guns doesn’t mean you can go around touching my thighs you sicko!” You bit at him as you took two very large steps back, you could feel the wall nearly touching your shoulders now.  Hoseok just whistled as he moved to sit more comfortably on the ground, not bothering to get up. 

Yoongi noticed a pair of initials inscribed on the side of the guns. “Are these your initials then?”  

“They are.” Yoongi smiled as he clicked the safe lock of one gun off and pointed it at you.  You were across the room and you froze as you looked at the barrel of your gun.  “What are you gonna do, shoot me after you unfairly capture me?” 

Yoongi shut his eyes as he lowered the gun back down and click the lock back into place. “Not at all,” he then tossed each gun to you as you caught them and immediately slotted them back into their hostlers and clipped them shut, securing your firearms. “I know your initials, but I’ll need to know your name as well.” 

“Why is that?” 

“Because as of today, you’re going to be working under me.” 

XXX

“Y/n!” Yoongi entered the firing range where you had retreated when Hoseok ditched you after combat training.  You had a lot on your mind and the range where you can shot what the fuck you wanted so long as it was in front of you sounded like a good way to blow off steam.  

You halted fire as you pulled your muffling headphones off your head to rest on the back of your neck and shoulders.  You pushed your safety glasses up to your head, moving your hair to reveal your forehead.  Locking your gun, you placed it on the firing table and turned your attention to your boss. 

You wouldn’t forget the day Yoongi forced you into his employ.  He did so rather literally, calling your previous job and quitting for you as he pretty much put you on house arrest at his estate. Despite your literal kicking and screaming, Yoongi was much more resilient than he looked when his sights were set on something.  

He always said he saw some sort of potential in you, but you never believed him.  You knew him for 10 minutes max before he decided that you were going to work for him. 

You worked alongside Hoseok, Yoongi’s personal bodyguard and right hand.  With Hoseok on Yoongi’s right, you were always on his left. 

It’s been almost half a year since then.  Yoongi was every bit the mafia scare he was talked up to be.  Merciless when it came to his trade and taking his work more than seriously.  He was cooped up in his office more than often and when he went out it was always to bars and casinos only to end up in some sort of brawl by the end of the night somehow.  

Though, you and Hoseok both knew he wasn't just that man.  He was someone else too. He was the Yoongi he used to be before he was roped into this stupid, bloody life.  He was someone who enjoyed sitting in his own private home with his dog.  He was someone who always kept tabs on and looked after his parents without dragging them into his own messy life. 

He wasn’t a fan of sweets and liked bitter things.  He preferred coffee to tea and he always slept with two blankets and three pillows.  He absolutely hated wearing socks to bed and had a habit of sleep stripping if he got too hot at night. 

He and Hoseok had known each other since their early years of college before they both dropped out due to where they are now.  They were brothers if not blood-related ones. 

Hoseok had once told you that Yoongi was softer to you that he was to his other female staff.  He treated you different and more delicately.  Although that was almost offensive when thinking about your physical abilities, Hoseok made sure to explain that it was only because Yoongi though highly of you. 

Recently, you’ve been trying your damnedest to try and keep a good profile up for Yoongi as much as possible.  You wanted to impress him and show him you had so much more to offer than just two pretty guns sitting pretty on your thighs.  You wanted to be someone capable and someone Yoongi can rely on. 

Little did you know that Yoongi has been watching you since day one and he’s had enough of you putting yourself through hell.  

“Why are you here?” Yoongi asked as he stood in front of you.  He could see the bags under your eyes and the sheen of sweat from being in this stuffy room for god knows how long now.  He didn’t even see a water bottle around for you to sip on while here.  

“Why else would anyone come to a shooting range, Yoongi?  I’m practicing.” 

“You’ve nearly shot a hole through that target with how many times you hit the same area.  You’re skilled enough as a markswoman.  Take a break.” 

“No,” you defied.  

“Y/n,” Yoongi warned.  He sighed as he grabbed the gun you were shooting from the table and moved you to stand in your slot.  He unlocked the gun and aimed for the head of the metal sheet of a target before opening fire.  

You covered your ears as the shots echoed and reverberated on the walls.  He shot until the gun ran out of bullet and he emptied each magazine laying around.  

The gun was empty and warm when he placed it back down and turned to you again.  He yanked the glasses off your head and took the headphones off your neck before he tossed them onto the table with the discarded gun.  

He took your hand before he started dragging you off.  He stopped as he opened the door and reveal Hoseok twirling a small knife around in boredom. 

“Clean up for her will you,” Yoongi address as Hoseok mosied on inside as Yoongi dragged you off.  You gave up on fighting him not long after he started pulling you along to wherever it was he was taking you.  Not having the energy to fight him off and knowing he was as bullheaded as a bullet, you gave in. 

He made it to his room- a far too grand one to be fair for any person’s sleeping quarters- as he pulled you inside along with him and shut the door behind him.  He pulled you to the bed before he pushed you onto it. 

He rolled over you before he came to lay at your side, holding you down as he held his arms around your waist.  

“What the hell is wrong with you?” You asked him. He closed his eyes as he lay on top of his bed comforter with you.  Not even bothering with shimming it out from under you both. 

“Nothing.  Now go to sleep.” 

“It’s the middle of the afternoon?” 

“And you haven’t slept since yesterday.” 

“You... knew about that?” 

Yoongi opened his eyes and looked at you.  “I’ve known everything since you first stepped foot here.  I’ve never looked away from you and I don’t plan to.” 

“What? Is this some sort of confession or something? Because It’s hardly romantic,” you rolled your eyes.  He was charming, but he sorely lacked in any kind of romance based topic. 

“Does a proclamation of something like this need to be romantic?” 

You looked at him.  “You-you're not actually serious are you?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You... Do you like me?  Like, like-like me?” 

“Are you in grade school?  No one says ‘like-like’ anymore.  You’re more fluent in your words and yet that’s what you say?” You bicker at him for being a hypocrite as he just laughed at you.  He pulled you further under his chin as he closed his eyes again. “It’s just so hard not to fall in love with you.”  

“Love is a strong word, Yoongi.” 

“A strong woman deserves strong words, don’t you agree?” It was silent, yet you didn’t move.  “Y/n?” He called yet still nothing. moving, he smiled when he saw you already sleeping.  Face bright red as your fists held small bits of his shirt to ensure he wouldn’t be going anywhere. “Sleep well my dear,” he brushed your hair back and kissed your forehead. “We have much to talk about when you wake up, but no hurry. You’re even more adorable when you’re sleeping in my arms like this. Rest and I’ll be here- always.” 

#suga #min yoongi #yoongi #bts #bts suga #bts yoongi #yoongi fic #yoongi fanfiction #yoongi fanfic #suga fic #suga fanfiction #suga fanfic #yoongi drabble #mafia yoongi #drabble #mafia #mafia au #au #strangers to lovers #reader #female reader #x reader #yoongi x reader #suga x reader #reader insert

[jordanlahey]

King With No Crown (1)

Pairing: Mobster!Bucky x Reader

Summary: Y/n is just another girl in Brooklyn nothing special, she went to school, got good grade and has a well paying job in an office. She is aware that the streets of Brooklyn aren’t as safe as they use to be especially when the “King” has eyes everywhere. On a works night out she stumbles into a situation and now she can’t get out of it, she’d be signing her own death certificate if she tried.

Chapter Warnings: Language, mentions of violence.

Word count: 2833

A/N:Here is part one, enjoy. Tag List is still open.

KWNC - @tuyetnhivo , @sgtjaamesbaarnes @theonelittleone , @sparkling-gayyyy , @dragoste-lunes , @chims-kookies , @hey-nonny-nonny @jsmith509, @dudeodin

Permanent - @doowneey , @m-a-t-91 , @fuckthatfeeling , @jitterbuck , @ria132love @pvnk-bivch , @etherealmandi, @pri00r @5aftermidnight , @thisismysecrethappyplace @dtftheavengers , @typicaltrashbagg, @lanijoyxo

Bucky Barnes - @release-the-cathyrchkn 

Series Masterlist

The rain pelleted heavy off your window, waking you up from your deep sleep. Looking over at your night stand you realised you had woken up 5 minutes before your alarm was supposed to go off, you thought there was really no point in going back to sleep so you got up and headed to the kitchen to make yourself a steaming cup of coffee to prepare yourself for the day ahead. 

After getting changed into your works clothes which only ever consisted of a black pencil skirt that hugged your curves just right and a white blouse that flowed nicely over your chest but not revealing much cleavage and a fitted blazer in case it got chillier in the office, you did your hair, applied minimal makeup to your face, slipped on your favourite pair of black heels and grabbed your bag as you headed for the door.

The rain didn’t look like it was going to clear up anytime soon so you decided to head on over to the apartment car park to take your car. Your car wasn’t anything fancy it was only a light blue Fiat 500, your job did pay you enough that you could buy some luxuries but you preferred to save up your wages only ever taking it out for a food shop or for rent. You only worked for one of the biggest companies owned by the “King of Brooklyn” whoever the hell that is, you don’t exactly know who you’re working for but you didn’t mind the boring days in an office at all and your boss spared that detail mostly because the “King” never visits the office only gets people to come in and check up on things.

Parking your car, you grab your bag and ran for the door avoiding getting soaked by the rain which was now pouring it down. You greeted the receptionist and walked up the stairs to your office occasionally bidding other workers and clients ‘good morning.’

You sighed as you took your seat at your desk and started up your computer, as you waited You organised your desk with files and folders that you were due to complete. You were interrupted by your boss slamming his palms on your desk which drew a lot of people's attention still.

“Good morning Y/n.” He chippered, he was a bright and happy man and had a lot of energy throughout the day and sometimes gets too over excited about work. “Just giving you a reminder it’s the works night out tonight, are you still up for coming?” He smiled but it was forced he always tries to persuade anyone to come to works night out and if you didn’t he will nip at your head for ages.

“Good morning and of course, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” You smiled back, he seemed satisfied and left you to carry on with your work. Sighing again you started your work like every other day, like a zombie and everything went like clockwork. You avoided looking at the clock as you found that if you kept looking at it time went slower and therefore staying at work longer which no one likes.

However, something did catch your eye and that was the men exiting the elevator. Usually you wouldn’t care for who leaves or enters the building but these men didn’t work here nor were they clients. They wore expensive 2 piece black suits paired with a black tie, you didn’t live under a rock you knew expensive clothes when you see them. One of them was really tall and had great muscles you could see it through his blazer that you guessed was a size or two smaller than his, the other guy had dark skin and was a little shorter not by much who had

also wore the same as the blonde but he wore dark sunglasses which kind of lacked their purpose sinces it’s raining outside.

They both seemed to have spotted you and made their way over to your desk, you quickly looked back at your computer screen hoping they would go to someone else but you were wrong.

“Good morning ma’am.” The Blonde spoke, his voice was stern and deep. You had no choice but to look up from your screen and smiled at the two gentlemen at your desk.

“Good morning, is there something I can help you with?” You spoke softly, you weren’t the receptionist why the hell are they over here.

“Actually yes we’re looking for Mr-”

“Gentlemen, I’m right here. Please come to my office and we can talk privately.” Your boss popped up behind them and you couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right but you tried your best to ignore it and get all your work over and done with. 

You were done for the day and packed your belongings as headed for the elevator. Shortly after the doors began to close an arm made its way in the gap of the elevator doors so it would open again and revealed the two men that were at your desk earlier that day. You wondered what took them so long to be talking to your boss.

“Nice to see you again…?” The blonde flashed a smile at you, the long pause only meant he was waiting for your name.

“Y/n.”

“Ah Y/n, I’m Steve this is Sam.” You greeted quickly and the you stood their awkwardly till you reached the car park floor. What made you even more uncomfortable was that they followed you to your car and your car plus one other was the only ones on that floor and to make matters worse they parked right next to yours. Seriously you have the whole car park to choose from!

You quickly got into your car and and started the engine and drove off in a hurry worried that they were going to follow you to your home. You can’t be too careful these days. 

You got home round about 6:45pm and you had enough to time to have a hour nap and shower before you start getting ready for your night out. Undressing yourself you put your work clothes in the washing basket and headed for the shower, before you could go in you wrapped the towel around you as you waited for the water to heat up which takes a while. You hummed a tune as you washed your hair and body occasionally singing a verse or two before humming the rest again, then you shut off the water and wrapped the towel around you again before throwing on some sweatpants, a t-shirt and flopping down on your bed but before you could pass out you set an alarm on your phone for an hour later for your night out.

The sound of your alarm filled the room followed by a groan, you really wished your boss wasn’t bothered about everyone showing up for a works night out but when there’s alcohol involved everyone is happy. Except you, you get bored quickly at the night outs and alcohol wouldn’t lift your spirits at all.

You made your way offer to your closet and looked through all your nice clothes, trying to decide if you should go with a skirt or dress? ‘Dress it is, all my skirts are for work.’ You though and started pulling out two dresses, one was red bodycon dress that laced up at the back and the other the same but in black without the lace up back. It took you nearly 10 minutes to decide to go with the red one, you thought it was time for a change and you wear too much black anyways, you paired the dress with a simple pair of black heels and a matching red choker.

You started on your makeup it was a night out which meant you applied more than what you usually do but then have to suffer the consequences with your skin after. You chose to give your hair some loose curls and you didn’t much care if they fell flat throughout the night, you weren’t trying to impress anyone and your hook up days were so behind you. The next decision was whether you were driving tonight or if you should get a cab or just walk which would probably be the best option. You save money on gas and you don’t have to pay someone to drive you home when you don’t live that far away from the club speaking of which you check your phone and you had 20 mins to be at the club or your boss will nip at your neck for being late. You were organised enough that you didn’t need to rush out the door and your coat was hanging on the pegs on the way out anyway.

Now you regret wearing a dress. The cold air was nipping at your legs and other parts of exposed skin, you had forgotten that it had been raining the whole day and the ground was still wet but you were glad that the rain finally stopped. On your way you couldn’t help but feel like you were being watched and it made you feel uneasy, you started to be on your guard for anything you even occasionally looked back to see if you were being followed but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. You wondered if you felt uneasy because the so called ‘King’ had eyes everywhere, you’d think he made the streets safer But it’s the opposite. Your uneasiness came to an end when you found your colleagues standing outside the club waiting for you.

“Y/n, glad you could make it.” Your boss shouted, he was already tipsy you could smell the alcohol off him.

“It’s not like I really had a choice.” You joked, he wasn’t going to remember that on Monday so you can say what you want and he won’t give a damn.

“Let’s get you a drink.”

By the time everyone had arrived you were already bored out of your mind and desperate to get home but you were a nice person and still not tipsy enough so you might as well look out for your fellow colleagues. So there you sat at the bar, on your own,  holding an empty glass in your hand and simply watching everyone have a better time than you.

“Do you want a refill?” A dark husky voice spoke beside you, you turned to look who that voice belonged to. Now you weren’t going to lie the man was attractive as hell but you weren’t planning on taking anyone home with you nor going home with anyone but if you were that he was the one. He had dark brown hair that wasn’t long but wasn’t short either, it looked fluffy if you were being honest and he had really blue eyes that you could get lost in and some stubble which just adds to his attractiveness. He definitely had money in the banks cause his three piece suit wasn’t second hand or cheap despite it just being a plain black three piece with a white shirt underneath.

“Uh-no thanks, I think I’ll just stick to the water for the rest of the night.” You put your glass back on the bar table but you couldn’t stop trailing your eyes all over the mystery man. The man chuckled at your comment and shook his head.

“Now aren’t you supposed to be having fun? You look bored out of your mind.” He spoke, he was right though.

“True but i’m not having fun, I’m looking forward to sneaking my way out so my boss doesn’t see me and I can go home.” You said bluntly. His night outs used to be fun then you got bored of the same old thing every damn time.

“I like your honesty. C’mon one more drink, then you could go out the back he won’t see you leave.” He swirled a glass in front of your face and you gave in.

“Fine one more I suppose.” You turned to look at the bartender and opened your mouth but the man next to you interrupted.”

“One whisky for me and for the lady…” He turned to look at you.

“Whisky for me too.” You flashed a smile at both the gentlemen. Mystery man was shocked at your choice of drink but didn’t argue.

“You’re my kind of girl. Whisky and honesty, what else are you hiding?” He smirked at you then when the drinks came you pulled out your purse but he insisted on paying.

“I don’t mean to be rude but you didn’t give me your name.” You finally asked, if you were going to have a drink with this man you might as well know his name but the face he gave you confused you like you were supposed to know who he was.

“James but my friends call me Bucky. And you, dollface?”

“I’m Y/n and I don’t have a lot friends that call me any nicknames.” You laughed at your own irony. How sad. 

The rest of the night you and Bucky spoke but you didn’t continue drinking with him you were on the water now. Mostly he was intrigued about you and he wouldn’t answer any of your questions and if he did they just created more questions.

“I should probably be getting home now, it’s getting late.” You drink the last sip of your water and collected your coat and purse, Bucky also stood up with you giving you a lopsided grin. “I’m not coming home with you and your not coming home with me.” You looked at him with an uncomfortable smile.

“I understand at least let me walk you to your car or cab.” His hand was at the small of your back as ushered you to the club door then stood with you outside. You felt your cheeks heat up.

“Oh I was planning on walking home, it’s not that far really.”

“These streets aren’t safe for a girl like you.”  Those words lingered in the cold air, you knew that the street weren’t safe but what did he mean by ‘a girl like you’

“I’ll be fine it’s really not that far but thank you for keeping me company and making my night better.” You smiled kindly at him despite him making you feel uncomfortable at times. You turned around and started walking in the direction of your apartment.

Bucky stood in the street, watching you leave like a predator watching his prey. When you were out of sight Bucky took out his phone and dialled a number.

“She’s prettier than you said. I want her.” He hung up the phone and started walking back to his home. Of course being the King of Brooklyn he wasn’t fussed about going home cause he never was alone, he’d find a girl in need of attention and bring her home and fuck her then make her leave when it’s over, he wasn’t fussed. But you. Oh he wanted you not only squirming underneath him but alongside him. 

It was getting colder every step you took and there was hardly any people walking around. They would all be in clubs or at home but the quiet was scaring you slightly and the only noise was the wind blowing harshly passed your ears and the sound of...yelling? You passed a dark alleyway but stopped in your tracks when you heard the same aggressive yelling and the sound of punches hitting skin and bone. You took off your heels to avoid being heard and you hurried down the alley but no was between the two buildings they were behind one of them so you hid behind the brick wall watching as two men beat up another. You recognised the two men it was Steve and Sam but the other guy who was getting the shit beaten out of him you had no idea.

“You messes with the wrong man and now you pay with your life.” You has you back against the wall as you heard Steve’s voice and you listen in horror of a gun being fired. Everything seemed to stop and you waited till you heard the footsteps fade away before running to the body on the floor.

You checked for a pulse and he had one but it was faint, the man was going to die whether you took him to the hospital or not.

“Are...You an...Angel?” The man spoke between breaths as she struggled to stay conscious.

“I’m sorry no.” He smiled and he lost all consciousness and you left. 

In the distance you were being watched, your every move from leaving the dead body to going passed a kebab shop then to your apartment. They waited outside till your bedroom light went off and you drifted off into a deep slumber.

#marvel #avengers fanfiction #avengers fanfic series #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #Winter Soldier #bucky barnes au #mobster!bucky #mobster!bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #Mobster!bucky barnes #MOBSTER!AU

[cinnaminsvga]

La Douleur Exquise Pt 4 | Incubus!Yoongi AU

➵ summary: in which you accidentally summon an incubus in the middle of your shitty apartment and he won’t leave until you agree to have sex with him. until then, min yoongi, incubus extraordinaire, is now your sexually promiscuous and grumpy roommate. aka, the incubus au no one fucking asked for. ➵ warnings: implicit sexual acts; yoongi has a potty mouth ➵ genre: angst, smidgens of fluff and humor ➵ words: 5K ➵ a/n: surprise update! also rip yoongles lmao

➵  part 1 // part 2 // part 3 // part 4 // part 5 // part 6 // part 7

Like many wretched individuals such as himself, Yoongi delighted in partaking in the delightful sinfulness of debauchery. As an incubus, it came as no surprise that he frequently indulged in the sins of the flesh, and judging from the very good reviews he has on Yelp, he was pretty damn good at it too.

What most people didn’t know was that his love for carnal pleasure was not only limited to during his waking hours, but also during his sleeping ones. (Did I say most people didn’t know? Slash that—literally everyone knew. It’s Yoongi for fuck’s sake.) Sex had no curfew, and it came as no surprise that Yoongi, and his perpetually excited Yoongi Jr., were firm believers in such a principle.

In short, Yoongi liked having sex dreams. Or wet dreams, whatever you wanted to call it.

It wasn’t like Yoongi was afraid of having his vivid and most dastardly fantasies come to life (because let’s face it, this was Yoongi we’re talking about and all his friends and clients were basically the kinkiest little shits you could ever possibly meet.) It wasn’t like his subconscious was making up these scenarios because he was too afraid to test them out. No, it was mainly just because his dick had a bigger brain than his normal one, so his unrestrained libido pretty much ruled his subconscious during all hours of the day.

Suffice to say, he’s had pretty good dreams in the past. Some freaky, and others... freakier. In fact, some dreams of his were so fucking good, that they still remained in his spank bank for future use.

(And yes, you happened to be in some of those dreams, but were you even surprised at this point? You were a person with legs and you were around him 24/7. How could he not?)

It was general rule that Yoongi liked his wet dreams. Usually. Today was clearly an exception.

In fact, today’s wet dream wasn’t going to be anywhere near his top 10. Hell, it wouldn’t even meet his bottom 10. It was that bad.

It was for this simple reason: Namjoon was in it.

“What the fuck Namjoon?” Yoongi screamed out loud when you, who had been giving him a stellar blowjob, suddenly lift up your head to reveal that—no, it was no longer your beautiful face staring back at him, but it had instead transformed into Namjoon’s face with his stupid sunglasses on.

“Oh, don’t fucking lie Yoongi. I know you dream of me sometimes. I’ve lurked in a few of your past dreams before,” he mused, lifting himself up from your previous kneeling position. He dusted his knees, unfazed by his lack of clothing and the new protruding breasts that he was now currently sporting.

The Y/N-Namjoon hybrid hummed lowly, looking around the small bedroom. “Nice place she has here.”

Yoongi was not amused. “Fuck off,” he said as kindly as he could. “And would you mind shifting out of her body? That’s disgusting as fuck.”

Namjoon looked at Yoongi curiously before shrugging his shoulders and doing as he requested. Yoongi watched as your body slowly melted away to form Namjoon’s own lanky one. He was still naked, but at least he didn’t look like some weird hybrid of your beautiful body with his face. “That’s odd. You never used to complain when I didn’t change back into my normal form. In fact, I thought you enjoyed it more when I didn’t.”

“Would you believe me if I said I suddenly developed standards?” Yoongi said blandly, before standing up to grab the pair of pants he had shucked across the room. Like Namjoon said, it wasn’t like he was uncomfortable with being naked around his superior, but for some reason, he had a feeling that this meeting wasn’t just some quick bonding session between colleagues.

Also, he very much did not like thinking of Namjoon sucking him off when you could have been doing the exact same thing. Namjoon was a lot of things, and Yoongi supposed “wet dream cockblocker” was just another title in his extensive repertoire.

“You must be wondering why I suddenly hijacked your dreams,” Namjoon started, sitting himself comfortably beside Yoongi on your bed. “Speaking of, your dream senses are maturing. You used to not be able to tell whether I was real or a figment of your imagination.”

“Yeah well, even my fucked up subconscious wouldn’t dare interrupt that beautiful blowjob I was having.” Yoongi grumbled, pinching Namjoon slightly on the arm. Despite Namjoon’s higher position, Yoongi was still older and much more experienced, allowing him certain advantages (i.e., not being blasted to the 7th circle of hell for pinching the devil’s right hand man.)

Namjoon snorted, swatting Yoongi’s hand away. “Speaking of that beautiful blowjob as you so eloquently put it, I wanted to ask for an update on your mission with Y/N.” Oh no fucking way. A fucking status report. Yoongi was fucked.

Yoongi hoped his poker face was impenetrable. “What about my mission? I’m not past my deadline yet, am I?”

Unbeknownst to Yoongi, Namjoon knew Yoongi better than he believed. “Hmm... not quite. Although, I hope that you are aware that this mission of yours is taking a little bit too long—longer than your past missions.”

Oh shiiiiit. “O-oh, you know how some humans get. She’s just a bit picky, that’s all. I’m sure she’ll get around. Remember Hoseok’s last client? He wouldn’t let Hoseok go until the very last minute.” Yoongi tried, but even his excuses sounded weak to his ears.

“Well, that’s entirely different. Yoonji didn’t want to let Hoseok go because they fucked literally every single moment of the day. You, on the other hand, have not even gotten to lay a hand on Y/N. I’m starting to think she’s looking like a lost case.”

“No!” Yoongi exclaimed, causing Namjoon to raise an eyebrow. Yoongi cleared his throat. “Um, what I meant to say... I just don’t want to fail this mission. I’ve never failed one, and I really want to succeed,” he said, but deep down, they both knew the chances of success were slim, yet neither chose to speak it aloud. Why Namjoon was pretending to play dumb, Yoongi wasn’t sure.

“Yoongi, you do realize that you only have a week left until your contract ends, right? Our agency is also running low on incubi lately, so we’re trying to recall as many incubi as possible to keep shortages from happening,” Namjoon stated, watching curiously as Yoongi’s form started to tense. “I know the trials for failed missions are tedious, but there’s nothing to fear if there’s nothing to hide, right?” Namjoon said nonchalantly, but his eyes were sharp. The damn bastard knew something that Yoongi didn’t.

Yoongi felt like his heart had dropped down to his stomach. “Yeah... nothing to fear.” he muttered, running his hands through his hair. “Nothing to fear...”

Like the acute asshole that he is, Namjoon noticed the shift in Yoongi’s personality. “What’s gotten into you? Has Seokjin-hyung brainwashed you or something?”

Yoongi scoffed. “Man, even after defecting from heaven, you still call that asswipe your hyung?” Yoongi spat, nudging Namjoon’s shoulder. “You’d think that the devil’s right-hand man would hate his older brother enough to drop the honorifics, right?”

“Not all of us are born assholes, Yoongi.”

“Yeah, because you are the mother of all newborn assholes.” Yoongi retorted, crossing his arms. “And no, Seokjin has not been brainwashing me. That asshole could spray me with holy water, and I’d still shit in his Gucci man purse.”

“Yoongi,” Namjoon sighed, patting Yoongi’s shoulder tiredly. “Please stop trying to change the subject.” At his words, Yoongi’s shoulders immediately drooped.

“You know the rules, Yoongi. You finish this mission, or go under trial. We have to check if you’re not... purposefully sabotaging this mission.” The pitying look in Namjoon’s eyes made Yoongi want to punch his boss in the face, but all Yoongi could do was nod his head in defeat.

Why the fuck was Namjoon so sad for him? There was nothing wrong; he wasn’t doing anything wrong. Namjoon was right—there’s nothing to fear. He just wanted to keep his record perfect, that’s all. It’s not like he was falling in love with—

If Yoongi’s heart could drop any lower, he was sure he’d be shitting his heart out in tiny bite-sized pieces by now. He swallowed his thoughts down, just like he had been doing for centuries. Those are dangerous thoughts, Yoongi. Stay away from things you can’t have. “I understand, Namjoon. I understand.”

“Good. Now I think it is time for you to wake up. You still have to make breakfast for Y/N, right?” As Namjoon finished speaking, the room around them started to melt away into darkness; Yoongi was beginning to wake up. His eyes tried to focus on Namjoon as he started to disappear. It was at that moment when Namjoon’s words finally registered in his brain, causing alarm to start enveloping his mind.

Wait, how did Namjoon know that he––?

––♡♡♡––

When you awaken, visages of pale skin and a warm gummy smile still painted the lids of eyes. You blinked sleepily, rubbing away the mirage-like images from your brain as you tried to stifle the grin from devouring your face. You felt incredibly warm on this Sunday; a rare occurrence in itself, but you couldn’t be bothered to care about preparing for your classes tomorrow—not when all you wanted to do was stay in bed with a prickly but cuddly incubus.

As your eyes finally managed to stay open longer than a second, you found yourself disappointed to see that Yoongi had already gotten up, despite the clock beside your bed stating that it was barely 8AM.

“Well, he has been waking up earlier nowadays,” you mumbled to yourself, slipping on your fuzzy slippers to search for the missing incubus. Judging by the subtle sounds of sizzling eggs coming from the kitchen, you had a good guess as to where he might be. Giddy happiness started bubbling up from your belly as the thought of him cooking you breakfast filled you with contentment, despite him having cooked you breakfast these past few days.

Stepping out of your bedroom, you saw that your initial guess was correct. Yoongi, who was wearing a shirt (an occurrence you have yet to grow accustomed to), was busy flipping an omelette. You’d think that you’d be tired of eating them already, but strangely enough, Yoongi’s food never got you feeling sick.

You approached him quietly, situating yourself beside him as you watched him tend to the food. “Good morning,” you smiled sweetly at him. Yoongi glanced at you for a second and tried to smile back (honestly, he looked more like he had to take a massive shit, but you supposed Yoongi wasn’t exactly adept at expressing normal emotions such as joy.)

“I, uh, made breakfast.”

“I can see that,” you hummed, leaning your head comfortably on his shoulder. You felt Yoongi tense at your touch, making you retreat and point an inquisitive look at him. “What, feeling shy all of a sudden?” you teased lightly, expecting a witty comment in return. Instead, he just grunted gruffly and turned back to the pan, picking up the finished omelette with the spatula and plating it for you. He grabbed two cups of coffee for the two of you and set everything down on the table. “Eat,” was all he said.

As you took the plate from him, you noticed that he hadn’t made one for himself. If his odd demeanor had worried you, then this was fucking scaring the shit out of you. Yoongi NEVER skipped breakfast; he even ate the shitty undercooked pancakes you used to make for him. He wasn’t even going to drink his coffee, judging by how he was just blankly staring at its mystical instant coffee-ness.

You needed to know what was wrong. “Yoongi? Are you okay?”

All this time, Yoongi hadn’t been able to look you straight in the eye. But at the sound of your concerned voice, he couldn’t help but glance up to see your face. Oh, what a big fucking mistake that was.

Was the devil making this some kind of game or something? How on earth did you look so damn gorgeous at ass o’ clock in the morning? How was the sunlight just streaming into the room at just the right angle to make it look like there was a halo of light around your head? What the fuck was this romance shoujo anime bullshit? What next, a bucket of rose petals would fall out of the sky with Starlight is Falling playing in the background?

Well, if this was going to be some sappy Korean drama, then could Yoongi at least get a happy ending?

But happy endings were for pussies, and Yoongi was better at eating them than being one.

The reason why Yoongi was so tense was because he didn’t know how to tell you that you wouldn’t be seeing him anymore in seven days. Despite being the emotionally constipated demon that he was, even he had to admit that he was worried about you—if you’d keep feeding yourself, or if you’d try taking care of yourself more. However, he was even more worried about why he was worried in the first place. Why did he fucking care so much?

Realizing that he hadn’t responded to your initial question, Yoongi cleared his throat and trained his eyes back down at the table. “I’m fine.”

“Really? You don’t seem fine to me. You’re not even eating. It’s like the apocalypse is upon us.”

“Y/N, I swear. I’m fine, so you can stop worrying. You look terribly ugly when your face looks like its locked in a perpetual state of constipation.”

Well, at least his brain was still functioning if he was still able to make fun of you. “Wow, rude much? We share a bed for a week and we’re already back to square one?” You let out a laugh, but the noise ended up sounding like a harsh bark more than anything. You swallowed thickly, desperate to make eye contact with the demon. He pointedly refused, and instead focused his attention on his quickly cooling coffee.

It scared you more than you could ever bear to admit: that something had changed last night, that you had pushed him too hard and now he was scared of moving forward.

“Yoongi?”

“Hmm?”

“Spare me the bullshit, please? I’ve heard a lot of bullshitty things come out of your mouth, and this is probably the only time your words will ever matter to me, so please. Just say something. Make it count.”

The silence stretched on, and Yoongi could feel your gaze drilling holes on the top of his head. He couldn’t bear to look into your eyes—too kind, too patient. He was sure that you could plainly see how his thoughts were tormenting him, the words that struggled to pass his lips waging wars in his head.

Time slowed, and eventually he heard you let out a sigh. You picked his hand gently away from his cup of long-since lukewarm coffee (his hands were always so cold), caressing the back of it in a soothing manner. You still didn’t speak, and Yoongi finally managed to gather the courage to look up.

The sight of your face made him tense even more, causing you to pause in your ministrations immediately. Your eyes only made contact for a split second, but Yoongi was sure that the zap he felt rippling through his bones really did happen.

The look in your eyes and the way you held his hands—it was too much. This moment you had found yourselves in was even more intimate than anything he had ever experienced (and he had fucked a shit ton of people.) Maybe it was the calmness of the barely conscious sun, or the sound of the people outside your apartment quietly bustling on their day. Or maybe it was the way you smiled so sweetly at him, as if you would wait for him, no matter how look it would take.

It almost looked like lov—

Yoongi broke the silence, his words coming out almost choked. Too fast, too eager to get this over with. Scared.

“Y/N, what do you know about the contract we signed?”

You flinched, taken aback by his sudden question. “What does that have to do with anything?” You asked, confused, but you still tried wracking your brain for the information regardless.

“Well... All I really remember was the process of summoning you and how our contract will be completed once I’m, er, sexually appeased.”

You guessed that your answer was not what Yoongi was hoping for, judging by the scolding glare that immediately took over his features. You got defensive immediately. “Why do you look angry at me? You asked so I answered! You know that I don’t think things through.”

“I figured,” Yoongi deadpanned, rubbing his temples in frustration. “Kinda how we got stuck in this situation in the first place, right?” He sighed heavily, contemplating how he was going to explain to you the entirety of your arrangement with him.

“Well, what’s the big deal anyway? I don’t want to have sex, and you don’t want to leave; not my problem, right?” You scoffed, crossing your arms petulantly. You were kind of getting pissed off; what was with his sudden change in attitude? It was as if the night before never even happened. 

“That’s barely scraping the surface.” Yoongi hissed.

“Look, Yoongi. Just get on with it. What’s happening? Did I do something wrong? Did I break the contract?” You asked, your voice trailing off into a whisper. If you had broken the contract, did that mean Yoongi was going to leave? Was this his weird way of saying goodbye?

“No. In fact, it’s me who’s breaking the contract. Ish.”

You raised your eyebrow. “Ish?”

Yoongi groaned, slamming his hand on the table. “Ugh, this is so hard! Why do you make everything so hard?”

It’s because you’re in lov--!

“Anyway,” Yoongi coughed, trying to calm his pounding heart. Dangerous, dangerous. “Sorry, it’s just that I’ve never had to explain this to someone before. You see, your explanation was pretty much only the basic concept of summoning incubi and succubae. It’s kind of understandable that you don’t know the whole story because no one ever really knows the fine print since usually everyone just fucks and then the contract is complete. But, that doesn’t mean there isn’t a fine print.”

“So... What’s the problem?”

“The problem is... If I don’t end up having sex with you within a week, I’m going to be put under trial for sabotage.”

Now you were more confused than you were 10 minutes ago. “Sabotage? What the fuck would you be sabotaging?”

“I... I don’t know.” Yoongi knew.

You sighed, raising your arms behind your head. “Well then. It isn’t really a problem then, right?”

“What do you mean?”

You rolled your eyes, looking at him like he was Boo Boo the fool. “I mean, just fuck me!”

If Yoongi had actually been drinking his coffee, you were sure he’d be doing a spit-take right about now. After the shock from your very frank exclamation had died down, Yoongi finally managed to calm the beating of his heart. Focus, Yoongi. She doesn’t know what she’s saying.

Yoongi groaned, frustrated. “No, you don’t get it! You said it yourself, you have to be sexually pleasured and shit, and we both know that you’re a fucking weirdo who isn’t into shit like that, so—“

You cut him off. “Who said I couldn’t be sexually pleasured?”

“—it would be entirely useless to have sex, wait what? What?” Yoongi spluttered, gazing at you as if you’d grown a second head.

“Ok, I may have lied a bit when we first met. Well, not REALLY lied, but—“

“Wait, so you’re telling me that I could’ve fucking left all this time?” He exclaimed, disbelief coloring his words.

Yoong did not, in fact, want to leave. Not like you knew that, anyway.

You tried to look unfazed by his callous words, but if the way Yoongi’s eyes softened were any indication, you were pretty sure you were failing pretty badly. It was just... you thought that maybe, somehow along the way, he had started to like being with you. Especially after watching how much calmer he was around you, how caring he had been recently, how almost loving he was being—

What a fool you were. This was an incubus you were dealing with, not a human boy capable of feeling the same way that you felt for him.

What did you feel for the demon? What was this churning in your stomach, this wretchedness blooming poisonous flowers in your heart? Why did this treacherous feeling make you want more? More of what, exactly? You weren’t sure.

Dangerous, dangerous.

“I... I didn’t mean that,” Yoongi said, trying to salvage the situation.

“But you still said it.”

“I—“

“Listen, asshole. I’m sorry for ‘lying’ to you, but you never asked for MY fine print. So let me explain first,” you huffed angrily. To say that you weren’t hurt by Yoongi’s words would make you a liar, but you fought to keep your face devoid of any pain. He couldn’t know.

You cleared your throat. “Ok, it would be a complete lie to say that I don’t feel stimulation because it’s literally human nature to feel... something during intercourse right? It just depends on whether people actively search for that ‘feeling,’ aka, actively fucking people in order to reach orgasm: the end goal. Well, me? I’m not like that. I don’t look for that ‘feeling.’ I don’t need to look for it. I’m perfectly fine going day to day without trying to look for that ‘feeling.’”

Judging by the confused look on the incubus’ face, you figured Yoongi had no idea what you were trying to explain. “What the fuck?” he verbalized his thoughts, staring oddly at you. “Isn’t that basically what I’m saying? If you aren’t ‘actively searching’ for orgasm, then doesn’t that mean you can’t be sexually pleasured?”

At this point, you were getting frustrated by how hard it was to explain essentially who you were and how you worked to someone who just couldn’t understand; it was like trying to explain color to a blind person. He could never understand you, you thought bitterly to yourself. Yet, you tried your best to come up with an analogy.

“Ok... So it’s like this, alright? Think of sex like food—“

“Easy enough. I could go on and on about how much pussy tastes like—“

“Yoongi.” You deadpanned, glaring icily at Yoongi. Yoongi supposed it was not a good idea to try and lighten the mood with sexual innuendos. He nodded meekly at you to continue.

“As I was saying before you so rudely interrupted, think of sex like food, except not as a life-sustaining source of energy. Everyone wants to eat, right? When you eat, you get full. For me, I don’t want to eat. I don’t need to eat, even. But when I do, I still get full. You get me now?”

Yoongi sort of understood, but since he has been an incubus pretty much his entire life, he couldn’t really comprehend why anyone would not want to ‘eat,’ as you so put it. But he had gotten accustomed to your weird tendencies already that he just chose to nod in faux understanding, like a parent acquiescing to an infant’s babbling. In fact, you could even say that he’d grown fond of your eccentricities—

Dangerous thoughts, Yoongi. This is what you’re trying to avoid.

Yoongi brushed the thought away from his head. “Even still, Y/N,” he sighed, running his fingers through his hair wearily. “The whole point of the contract is ‘wanting.’ Sure, you may feel pleasured at the end, but the importance of the whole thing is that you should want it in the first place. I can’t force myself on you.”

“You’re twisting your words, Yoongi! Just a while ago, you said as long as I was satisfied, then you could get away scot-free, so what the fuck is the damn problem!” You screeched, finally tired of him beating around the bush. You were tired, frustrated, and confused. Why was Yoongi being so hesitant now, of all times? Here you were, essentially giving yourself up to him for him to take, giving him a chance at freedom and leaving this shit apartment like he so obviously wanted. During all his time staying with you, he had taken almost every single opportunity to try and seduce you. It had almost grown comical at some point, when he’d grow impatient with your persistence and just proceeded to whack off in the bathroom. Min Yoongi was stubborn, proud, rude, impatient, and a downright menace. You should be glad that his time with you was almost over.

But if there was one word you could never describe Min Yoongi as, it was cruel.

Despite his insufficiencies at decency, he was never cruel. He never forced himself upon you, despite how easy it would be to do so. You were sure that if he gave his 110% effort, he could have somehow tricked you into sex. Deceit, trickery, and cruelty were never words you’d ever associate with him.

The word ‘considerate’ would not be the first word you would associate with Min Yoongi, incubus extraordinaire, but it was the closest word you could think of.

Memories of your time together suddenly flooded your mind as you thought back to the times when Yoongi had appeared to have a heart. Images of lukewarm breakfast food cooked early in the morning, a spoon of kimchi stew moving towards your mouth when you had collapsed that day, your phone mysteriously charged despite knowing you hadn’t plugged it in the night before, pale hands brushing the hair away from your face as you feigned sleep, a pair black eyes trailing your mouth as you kissed his cheeks and nose—possibly hoping that your mouth would move just an inch to the right—!

Despite his insufficiencies at decency, Min Yoongi was a kind son of a bitch.

In the midst of your self-reflection, Yoongi stood up abruptly, slamming his hands so hard on the table that his still full cup of coffee almost spilled all its contents on the wood. “No, Y/N! You listen to me! It doesn’t fucking work like that. You have to want it, you have to need it in your soul, like it’s the only source of water in a desert, like you couldn’t bear another day without getting it—“ He stuttered in that moment, eyes wild that matched the speed of the words tumbling out of his mouth. “You need it, you have to want it, love it—fuck.” He took a deep breath, a crazed glint in his gaze. He was going to say something he might live to regret, but—“You have to want me, Y/N.”

He said it anyway.

Eyes are always watching, Min Yoongi.

What you failed to notice was the way Yoongi’s eyes widened in surprise, afraid of the consequences of his words. In the heat of the moment, you don’t register what hidden meaning may lay behind those words. You were possessed with the need to explain; you had to tell him, even though it was—

Dangerous, dangerous.

“That’s the fucking thing, Yoongi! I do want it!” You screamed back, desperate for him to understand. Why couldn’t he fucking understand? That you—“I want it. As long as it’s with you, I’ll always want it.”

“Stop lying. You’re just saying that because you’re being nice to me. You’re always so nice to me,” he said bitterly, but his gaze remained steady. They burned, but you didn’t dare to look away.

“Y/N... You’ve always been too kind, too much...”

You stopped him right there. “I’m not being kind right now, Yoongi.”

Yoongi was not having any of it. He couldn’t accept; he didn’t have the courage to. “Then why are you always so nice to me, huh? What did I do? What is it? What do you want from me? I’m a creature of wretchedness and impurity, a demon from the second circle of hell created to advocate debauchery and corruption. My only purpose is to fill the gaping holes in the hearts of people with loathsome intent. I don’t deserve your kindness or your pity.” Or you, Yoongi’s treacherous mind added.

“There are many things in life that I will live to regret, but you will not be one of them. Not ever.” The words slipped out of your mouth without struggle, a sigh of relief almost leaving your body at how those thoughts were finally seeing the light of day. Then came the fear that followed, the implications of running your mouth.

A plethora of emotions swirled in Yoongi’s heart: confusion at how you could possibly want his despicable self, fear that what you said might be the truth and that you did want him, anger that what you said might be a lie and that you were just saying that to get rid of him—

But out of all the emotions that threatened to bubble and wreck Yoongi, there was one feeling that he had never dared to endure, much less acknowledge. It was an emotion that endangered all who sought it and all those who thrived on it. It led to heartbreak and sadness, causing all those who felt it to live emptier lives than they had previously. 

It was hope.

He supposed that despite his demonic powers, above all else Yoongi was still a mortal. He could not escape his heart, as much as he could not escape his libido. Not for the first time, he yearned. But his yearning had never amounted to anything; he never acted on it. He couldn’t. You were making him want to, though. You made him feel like it was possible, that somehow you two could make it. That Yoongi could escape his fate as a humanized sex object and live a full life, filled with happiness and laughter and love—

Love. Love. Love. Yoongi’s heart yearned for it.

Dangerous. Dangerous. Dangerous. Yoongi’s mind echoed faintly in the distance.

And just like that, the moment breaks.

Like the pitiful creature that he is, Yoongi runs.

In his haste to run, he hits the table with a loud bang, causing the cup of coffee to finally spill. You don’t even have the chance to yell his name before your front door slams with a note of finality.

And just like that, he’s gone.

In the quietness of your apartment, you could only watch as the coffee drips down to the floor.

#btswriters #BangtanWriters-Net #sfwbangtan #kkreationsnet #bts scenarios #bts fanfiction #bts #bts imagines #bts scenario #yoongi angst #bts angst #yoongi fluff #bts fluff #min yoongi #yoongi #suga #yoongi scenarios #suga scenarios #bts suga #bangtan #BTS x you #bts fanfic #myg

[sisterbestill]

I write this on my iPhone, sitting next to my dad, who is currently getting his 4th Chemo Therapy Treatment of Carboplatin and Taxol. The drugs are chemical bombs and each week the accumulative damage grows. They pre-treat him with histamine blocking meds so he doesn’t have reactions, but he has reactions during the infusion, like he can’t breath. The nurses are well aware and calmly manage the reactions with more meds. These meds cause him to become very drowsy, so the remainder of the day becomes about keeping him from falling.

I still am trying to process all that has occurred since early August 2018. I look back on these pictures of our last outing at Lake Jocassee and never would have guessed how things would change just a week later. I’ve often wondered how cancer strikes people so quickly, now I know. I am writing this so I will never forget each minute that will forever live with me. I am also using this as a way to cope and understand something that is unfamiliar and terrifying.

My parents have always taken care of themselves and one another. They have been very lucky to have good health and I have been lucky to have them as energetic as they are in their eighties. When they moved up here from Florida, I was delighted I was going to finally be able to spend more time with them - like daily and weekly vs. just twice a year. They moved 15 minutes away or a lovely 60 min bike ride through rolling countryside and mountains. I was giddy and felt the universe shift a bit. I felt pulled to them. They are in fact two of the coolest, funniest, and open-minded people I know.

Shortly after this kayak trip (photos above) they decided to make a pact to live to 100 and created a “bucket list”. They were thankful for their health and never took it for granted. Perhaps the bucket list idea was a way to for them to celebrate how young they felt or perhaps they recognized they were chronologically getting up there.

Paddling on Jocassee was relaxing, calm, and beautiful; Certainly an experience they would have loved to have recreated again and I am hopeful they will. It may look different in the future, but I suspect the beauty and calmness of the lake will bath their brains in peace.

A week after snapping these pics, I got a call from my mom, she was on her way to the ER with my Dad. I was working one floor up and met them in the ER. While we waited, I learned my Dad had been feeling fatigued for several months and had developed shortness of breath over last few weeks. It wasn’t evident on the kayak trip that he was struggling, but it was obvious in the ER. My mom said they had been to their primary care several times and their primary care doc reassured him it was natural aging, as tests did not reveal anything to be concerned about.

As we sat for 6 hours in the waiting area, I was certain it was nothing serious. Afterall, my dad had no other health issues other than a little hypertension. His meds consisted of an 81 mg baby aspirin and amlodipine 2.5 mg each day - what a lucky guy. I was thinking maybe he had pleurisy or walking pneumonia.

We finally were shown to a room and labs were drawn. We were relieved to finally get things moving. By this time my sister, Lori, and I were getting silly from the fatigue of waiting. We were thoroughly entertained by a belligerent drunk guy on a stretcher in the halllway who seemed to draw all the attention of the medical staff while we well-behaved folks waited for answers.

I noticed my dad’s HR would easily jump to a sinus tach in the 130s with just a little bit of movement. Something didn’t seem right, but I was not going to speculate or think the worst. I was just his daughter, at his side, keeping the mood light.

We were informed by the physician assistant caring for us that his left diaphragm was elevated and was probably the cause of his shortness of breath. I was a little taken back as this was an unusual finding that left me with a knot in my stomach. Not too long after this finding he was whisked away for a CT of his chest.

He returned to the room and we waited for results. The PA came in with a sticky note and said she read off it: “You have a very large anterior mediastinal mass...No one here will operate because of your age...We are discharging you and you will need to see an oncologist.”

Our mouths dropped. My stomach bottomed-out as she said “mass” and my face flushed. We all just blankly looked at one another. Go home?

I spoke to a good nurse friend in recovery and she called the thoracic resident. I spoke to the PA who delivered the news and said, “We can’t go home. He is short of breath. He and my mom live alone. His Heart rate is bouncing up to 130s. He is weak. Please admit him and consult thoracic surgery.” My dad chimes in, “I’m not a throw away!” Meaning he doesn’t want to be dismissed because of his chronological age. He was far healthier than most half his age and this deserved a second look. The radiologist who read the report never actually saw my dad, but he did see a birthdate.

The next day, the interventional radiologist who read his CT and gave us the crappy news also did a needle biopsy of this baseball size mass.

We went home on a Wednesday after 2 days and waited. We were waiting for results and waiting for an appointment with a thoracic surgeon. Waiting is tough and if you are sick you will learn the meaning of patience.

We made it to Sunday when I thought something wasn’t right with my dad. He continued to have episodes of shortness of breath, but something was still off. I knew he had anxiety, but this was different. He said he felt fine and I almost left it at that. As a nurse you learn to listen to your 6th sense.

My parents live in a remote part of the county where everything is 30 min away. I left there house and an hour later returned with a pulse oximeter that I purchased from a CVS drug store. His oxygenation was 95% not bad for a guy now breathing 40 times a minute with 1.25 lung capacity. However, his pulse read 155 and I was baffled. No way?! I palpated his radial artery and it was a match. Off we went to the ER...

ER visit number II was faster as we went to a smaller satellite hospital 30 min from their home. The rhythm was too fast on the monitor to establish what it was so the ER MD attempted to chemically cardiovert him with adenosine. Adenosine is pushed quickly through an IV. It stops and restarts the heart. I can not lie, I was nervous. It’s so diffferent when this is your own family member. My mom tearfully excused herself and I stayed by his bedside. The ER doc informed my dad it would suck, and we proceeded. It sucked. He felt his heart stop and I watched his eyes bulge and panic come across his face for 3 of the longest seconds of my life. We were able to see he had an underlying atrial flutter. We were started on a verapamil drip and were transported to the main hospital for management by a cardiologist. His heart converted back to a normal rhythm on the verapamil drip before we left the ER in transport to Main hospital at 1 am. We were under the impression it was stress related to the new shitty diagnosis and having to wait on results.

The next day he had an echocardiogram to look at the structure and function of his heart. He was started on a Metoprolol a drug that blocks adrenaline and keeps heart rate lower and it was doing its’ job.

He spent 2 nights in hospital and outside of naps, lacked solid hours of good sleep. We finally got word that his ECHO results were good. No one said a word about metastatic disease to his pericardium. We were told he had a small ring of fluid within the pericardial sack, but it wasn’t a lot and certainly not something they felt needed draining. The atrial flutter responded well to the metoprolol and we were discharged home to once again wait for our thoracic surgery appointment.

We finally made it to the thoracic surgeon to learn of what was growing in my dad’s mediastinum. I was hoping for a thymoma, but instead we drew the really short stick with a highly aggressive, highly invasive cancer called: Squamos Cell Thymic Carcinoma.

WTF? Come on! Can we not catch a break here?

I had never heard of this type of cancer and neither have many in the medical field cause in addition to being aggressive and invasive, it is also a rare tumor. A rare tumor that hasn’t impacted enough lives that researchers devote a lot of time, money and effort into understanding it. Not only that, but sadly, most people die before any data can be collected. Once you get short of breath, dry cough and fatigue it is usually advanced.

PET Scan had some questionable lymph nodes light up, but no other disease was noted distal to the mediastinal cavity.

We hoped it could be removed. Excising the tumor was first choice in the management of this cancer and had the best outcomes, but to do this the surgeon would need to get clean margins. The thoracic surgeon wanted a cardiac MRI to examine if this tumor had invaded any of his great vessels. CT scans had only shown that the tumor was abutting the ascending aorta, but we needed to be certain cause the surgery involved opening his sternum with a saw and recovery would be 5-6 weeks. The surgeon emphasized that he didn’t want to operate and create trauma without being able to get the entire tumor. He didn’t want to delay care in a time-is-of-the-essence scenario.

It was 6pm on a Monday evening just days out from last hospitalization, when I returned to their house to check on him. Earlier that morning, my mom and I took his mini Pomeranian back to the vet and learned it was dying. The vet apologized and said it was time. We put my dad’s 18 y/o Pom, Ben, to sleep at 10:30. My mom held him and he passed. We were a mess. We told my dad and his response seemed flat. Distant.Something else was on his mind.

I stayed close and felt something was amiss, something was unfolding, progressing. I was thinking is he getting an infection? His temp was 100.2, slightly more SOB, and his pulse was 95-110 at rest, on a beta blocker. Nowhere near his norm and I could not ignore this or excuse it. My dad is precious to me. I looked at my mom and dad, apologized as I informed them we needed to go back to the ER. They were agreeable. I think he was relieved I recognized something was wrong.

Shortly after arrival at the satellite ER labs were drawn and ultrasound of his heart was done by ER doc. He said there appeared to be a large fluid collection around my dad’s heart. We were again admitted to ICU for a condition called Cardiac Tamponade. Early the next morning he had the fluid drained 600 ml from around his heart. The fluid build up which is inside the pericardial sac squeezes the heart. The heart can be stunned and go into failure. The fluid that was drawn off was sent for cytology. It was suspicious. It was likely metastatic disease.

In fact after annoying the cardiologist with repeated questions in the hallway, he motioned me over to his computer screen. He showed me the ECHO and pointed out the thickening of the pericardium and showed me a mass dangling from his ventricle. I didn’t need to wait for cytology. This was confirmation for me that we were very far into a disease process. My face flushed, my heart sank, and my stomach dropped as I comprehended the situation. I thanked the MD and my mom asked what he was showing me. I told her. I saw the color leave her face.

The thoracic surgeon was still hoping to remove the mass as the CT didn’t show it had invaded the great vessels, but he did want a Cardiac MRI which was on the back burner. We were still in ICU cause the Cardiac Tamponade and procedure to drain the fluid triggered a lot of Atrial Flutter and Atrial Fibrillation. We waited for the Cardiac MRI for 3 days. There is only one machine and his was repeated twice before they got quality images. The thoracic surgeon finally met with us and after consulting his partners, radiologist, and oncologist, it was decided surgery was just too risky and he wasn’t certain he could get clear margins. He stressed how he didn’t want to create more problems or delay my dad in getting treatment if there were complications. We very much appreciated the thoughtfulness of his answer. We really didn’t have a minute to spare. The surgeon decided to cut a window in my dad’s heart so the cancer did not build up more fluid and compress this vital organ again. The cancer cells would drain into his belly instead of filling the pericardial sack.

We were discharged home in a questionable state: weak. At first we were told he would stay until he was walking well, but the hospital was full and we were off-loaded unexpectedly. Home is a place with stairs. Stairs to to get in and stairs to get out and the most movement he had done in a week was walking 25 ft with a walker and that was exhausting for him. I was concerned about falls. How were me and my mom going to get 170 lb man up 5 steps safely? He was too weak. He hadn’t eaten, he had not slept in 10 days. We were behind the eight ball and chemo had not even started.

Chemo is rough. To survive chemo, one needs some level of fitness, meaning able to perform ADLs independently and move often. We were overwhelmed. The next week was labor intensive and emotionally draining. Here we were home and we were struggling. He still wasn’t eating, still not sleeping, and my radar was on constant alert. I spent my days observing and looking for subtle changes. Oh and there were changes that needed immediate attention as he flipped in and out of rapid atrial fibrillation and got urinary tract infection.

I was scared and my dad was terrified. In times when we were alone, he would ask me: “How did this happen?” He would shake his head as if disappointed in his body. Disbelief. He was unable to comprehend it and he too was terrified.

To be continued...

#thymiccancer #cancer #chemo #raretumor #cancersucks #thymiccarcinoma #thisislife

[pastaraa-blog]

Even With The Enemy (Ch.2/?)

SUMMARY: A series of dead bodies turn up in Seoul and Inspector Min Yoongi is assigned to the case. The police are quick to assume that it’s a serial killer running loose but Yoongi has other ideas. There’s more to this case than meets the eye.

PAIRING: Kim Taehyung | V / Min Yoongi | Suga

!!WARNING for graphic depictions of violence!!

Also on AO3

CHAPTER 2 - JIMIN AND HANSUNG

Lee Jung In. 35 years old. His body was found in a back alley at 2 a.m. on Sunday. He had five stab wounds – one on each leg, one on each hand, and one on the chest, which directly pierced his heart and ultimately killed him.

Kim Byung Ho. 36 years old. His body was found floating on a river at 11 a.m. on Tuesday. He had multiple lacerations on his torso and back and exactly eight stab wounds, three of which hit major arteries and caused severe bleeding. He died from blood loss.

Kim Hyun Woo. 38 years old. His body was found in a ditch at 10 p.m. on Friday. His body had the most physical trauma among the three victims and showed clear signs of torture. All of his fingers had been broken and all of his nails had been removed. He had broken ribs, multiple lacerations and stab wounds, and a head injury likely caused by a blunt object. The cause of his death was a collapsed lung resulting from a stab wound on the chest.

All three bodies had traces of two chemical substances, one was designed to render the victims unconscious while the other one was a slow-acting poison that caused paralysis.

All three victims were members of the Baeksaja, a gang notorious for dealing in drug trafficking and the sex trade behind their ‘legal’ business of owning clubs in the red light district.

Yoongi closed the folder and leaned back in his chair. He looked at the clock on his wall and saw that it was half past midnight. He was probably the only one left at the station. He had been so absorbed in reading the file, he had lost track of time.

It had been a while since Yoongi came across a case as troublesome as this. All three victims were known gang members and undoubtedly had their share of enemies so narrowing it down was going to be difficult. The use of similar chemicals suggested that the crimes had been committed either by the same person or a group of people who had contact with each other. If it was a group, it could be the work of a rival gang like Yoongi guessed earlier, however, based on the reports, Yoongi was more inclined to think that the murders were committed by the same person.

According to the autopsy, several of the victims’ stab wounds were of near-identical sizes, indicating that at least one similar knife had been used on all three of them. Unless gangs were now giving out standard-issue knives to all their members, these near-identical stab wounds could mean that the knife used on all three victims may have been owned by one person.

A knock on the door interrupted Yoongi’s thoughts. He muttered a quick ‘come in’ and the door opened, revealing Namjoon.

“Hey, I’m planning to head out soon,” Namjoon said, “Are you going to stay here?”

Yoongi stretched his hands above his head and yawned. “Nah, I’m heading out with you.” He got up from his chair and gathered his things. “I’m done for tonight. This case you’ve given me has tired me out.”

“So I guess you’ve finished reading all of it?” Namjoon had the audacity to look apologetic after piling such a taxing case on Yoongi’s lap. “What do you think?”

“You couldn’t wait until tomorrow? I thought you said you were heading out.”

“Nothing comprehensive. Just your initial thoughts. I’d like to hear them while it’s fresh on your mind.”

Yoongi decided to give in. Denying Namjoon was difficult enough when he wasn’t bone weary. “I think our perp is just one person,” he said, “and this is more of a hunch right now but, judging by how the method of killing became bloodier and more gruesome with each victim, I think this was the work of someone with a personal vendetta. Either that or our perp is simply a sadistic bastard.”

“Hmm…” Namjoon nodded, “I thought the same thing, actually. Though you’re correct, it’s just a hunch right now, which is why I wanted you to take a look at the case. Hearing you say the same thing validates my initial assumptions.”

“As flattered as I am to hear that you value my opinion that much, my brain cells are pretty much dead right now. Can we save this conversation for later?” It was just as well that Namjoon and Yoongi had a friendly relationship. If this were anyone else, Yoongi would be receiving a stern reprimand for daring to talk to his superior officer in such a manner.

“Ah, sorry. I almost got carried away there. We should both get some rest. I have a feeling we’re going to have a long day tomorrow,” Namjoon stopped to look at his watch, “Or should I say, later today.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

#

Dried leaves cracked under Jimin’s shoes as he trudged along the busy streets of Seoul. He tugged at his scarf and pulled his jacket tighter. It was nearing the end of October and the temperature had already dropped too much for his liking. Winter was going to be such a pain this year.

“Yo, Park Jimin!” A man on the street bellowed, catching the attention of bystanders. Jimin recognized the deep voice – would recognize it anywhere.

Jimin turned around to face the man. “Yo, Park Hansung! Don’t go shouting in the streets!”

The man, Hansung, gave Jimin a cheeky grin. “But you did too!”

“Yeah, but you started it!” Jimin replied, knowing full well that it made him sound like a child keeping up a stupid argument. He stopped walking and waited for Hansung to catch up to him. “What are you doing out this early? Doesn’t the shop open until later?” He asked once they were walking side by side, voice now down to an acceptable volume.

“Our vegetable delivery guy is out sick today so I’m supposed to pick up our supply from the market,” Hansung said through a yawn. He was cheerful like he usually was but now that Jimin was looking closely, it was apparent that he was tired.

“Didn’t get much sleep last night?” Jimin knew that Hansung worked multiple jobs to make ends meet but this was the first time he was seeing him this tired in the morning.

“You could say that. I haven’t had much time to sleep the past week.”

“You didn’t get another part-time job, did you?” Jimin asked, concern lacing his tone. “You can’t keep on pushing your body like that, Hansung-ah.”

“This coming from Park Jimin? The Park Jimin who stayed behind every day after training and pulled weekly all-nighters back when he was at the police academy? That Park Jimin?”

“That was a situation where only I could do something to improve my performance so I did it. This is different. If you’re short on money then you can always come to me. You don’t need to get another job. You work too much already.”

“I always say this but you’re too kind, Jimin.” Hansung gave Jimin a fond smile. “Thank you for offering but I can’t take your money.”

“Hansung, you don’t–”

“I’m doing fine on the money front, don’t worry. In fact, I didn’t get another job.” Hansung added a wink for good measure. “I was just caught up in things last week but I’m all good. I know how to pace myself.”

Jimin was still a bit skeptical – Hansung had a habit of making light of his problems so as not to worry others – but let the topic slide for the moment. “As long as you’re taking care of yourself…”

“I am, I promise. Buuut, enough about me! How about you? How was your first day at the station?”

Jimin swallowed the sigh that was his impulsive response to that question. That would only make Hansung worry. “It went well, actually. The Senior Inspector in charge of our station seems like a really nice guy and I met a Senior Officer who was very friendly and introduced me to everyone.” It wasn’t a lie. All of those things did happen on his first day and if Jimin chose to omit the part where his direct superior seemed to find him annoying and had been more than happy to foist him off onto other people as soon as possible, Hansung was none the wiser.

“That’s great! I’m happy that your first day went well. I remember you were worrying so much about your colleagues bullying you or something,” Hansung said with a teasing smirk, “I told you those stories were just made up to scare newbies and you didn’t believe me.”

“Hey, don’t make fun of me! Those things do happen! I’m just lucky I got assigned to a station with decent senior officers.” Senior Inspector Min seemed like he didn’t want to have anything to do with Jimin but he hadn’t been cruel. Gruff and aloof, maybe, but not cruel. Jimin should probably be thankful for that.

“Hmm, if you say so…” Hansung looked reasonably impressed, of what Jimin wasn’t quite sure. “But if anyone bullies you, just tell me and I’d go over there to give them a talking to!”

To anyone else, Hansung’s words probably sounded like a joke but Jimin knew that he was serious. “Hansung, I don’t think making a scene inside a police station is a good idea, but thanks for always having my back,” Jimin said. Hansung often had silly ideas but Jimin knew he always meant well.

#

Sharing a morning walk with his best friend was a balm for Jimin’s soul and he had arrived at the station in considerably high spirits. Unfortunately, not even the pleasant start to his morning was enough to shield him from the ominous air that greeted him when he stepped into Senior Inspector Min’s office.

In Senior Inspector Min’s hurry to get rid of him the day before, Jimin had forgotten to give the man a copy of his assignment papers. Jimin had thought it would be okay for him to drop by the Senior Inspector’s office early in the morning to hand the papers over but he hadn’t expected to walk into what appeared to be a very important meeting between Senior Inspector Min and Senior Inspector Kim. Judging by the clouded look on the two men’s faces, Jimin guessed that whatever it was they were talking about, it was a terrible situation that was way, way above Jimin’s pay grade.

“Were you eavesdropping?” That was Senior Inspector Min and he looked pissed. Granted, the man seemed to have a resting annoyed face but this time, Jimin could tell that he was really quite angry.

“N-no, sir.” Came Jimin’s quick denial. The last thing he wanted was for his superior officers to think that he was up to no good on his second day at work.

“Uh huh?” Senior Inspector Min didn’t look convinced. “So what, they don’t teach you how to knock at the academy?”

“Uhm, I – I was… ” Jimin felt like his heart was lodged in his throat. He contemplated the merits of telling Senior Inspector Min that he did knock before entering but the two senior inspectors seemed to have been too engrossed in their discussion to notice or to respond so Jimin decided to push the door just a little to see if there was anyone inside. It was just Jimin’s luck that Senior Inspector Kim opened the door at the same time so he had been dragged into the room without warning, effectively barging into the senior officers’ tense meeting. Jimin found the whole experience mortifying, really.

“Yoongi, please don’t scare him,” Senior Inspector Kim said and Jimin felt like he could kiss the man in gratitude. “Relax, Officer Park. I don’t believe that you were eavesdropping and I’m pretty sure forgetting to knock once in a while isn’t a punishable offense. I know I’m guilty of the same thing sometimes.”

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that Senior Inspector Kim was one of the nicest, most respectable guys Jimin had ever met in his entire life. Jimin was blessed to have been assigned to this man’s station.

“Thank you, sir!” Jimin bowed ninety degrees. “And I’m sorry for barging into your meeting, sir!”

“It’s fine. We were done here anyway. I’m leaving you two.” Senior Inspector Kim clapped Jimin’s shoulder on his way out. “Yoongi, don’t be too harsh on him.”

Jimin only rose from his bow when he heard the door click shut behind him. Senior Inspector Kim was very kind about the whole thing but now, Jimin was alone with Senior Inspector Min and without a buffer, he might very well be put through the wringer by his direct superior.

Senior Inspector Min sighed. To Jimin’s relief, the words from Senior Inspector Kim seemed to have mollified him. “I suppose I should have told you this yesterday but, Rule Number One – knock if you want to enter my office. If you don’t hear an answer, don’t come in. Are we clear?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Rule Number Two, don’t ever eavesdrop on any conversation happening inside this office. Or any office for that matter. Clearances exist for a reason and there are things you don’t need to know.”

“Yes, sir.” Jimin felt that particular scolding was underserved as he hadn’t been eavesdropping but he wasn’t about to talk back to his superior officer like that.

“And Rule Number Three.” Senior Inspector Min rose from his seat and walked towards Jimin. “Don’t be so fucking meek all the damn time. I don’t appreciate insubordination but I hate mindless obedience even more. There’s a fine line between the two, learn to thread it, otherwise, you’ll never survive this job. Do you understand?” It was probably only Jimin’s imagination but there seemed to be a hint of concern in Senior Inspector Min’s tone.

“Yes, sir. I understand.”

to be continued…

#fanfic #taegi #bts #taegi au #bts au #bts fanfic #ewte

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

It's like everytime some shit goes bad or I feel wronged, my head starts spiraling, spinning like grandma's record player.

Thinking bout Jay, Ayunna, Terrell, Tatyana, My old jobs, sometimes in that exact order...

Just anything that pisses me off or feels similar and I'm ready to strike again, I'm ready to beat some ass for making my heart feel cold, feel numb like this.

The idea that people don't care about my well being, my mental health, just like these 4 idiots.

I want them executed from my life, burned like witches at the stake for causing me pain in my brain, my heart, the headaches....the tears I don't tell anybody about from remembering every single little thing about when they wronged me, they played me, Jay pushed me away, taty pushed me off of her and told me she didn't want me to touch her, Ayunna using me and Jay not caring cause they were doing it too....Its like I can't even yell at them anymore or tell them how it feels to be hurt a year or more after they hit me on my back. That spot Jay hit me at....

I'll always remember and that's what sucks. And these assholes don't even give a fuck because it's not their pain.

If they could take a walk in my shoes, with my enormous brain remembering everything and everything playing in my head like silly school children in my class, talking about my past, what I wanna be, where I wanna be, and then time is calling you but you don't even know if you're actually in the wrong class or distracted from what's the truth.

I hate looking through bad mirrors, they make you see that I chose to be with them all. All four of them and I did not like it. I dated Terrell to get over the fact that Jay didn't want a commitment with me but still wanted me to be the groupie, the friend, dragging me in, leading me on whenever I would try to actually get the relationship I deserved. A real life, hugging, loving, kissing boyfriend from which I thought was him, I thought it was Teddy and it wasn't right. He ended up revealing his true self that he tried to hide from me, and all I ever wanted to do with him was to forget Jay, stop liking Jay, and be treated to a date by somebody who actually wants to kiss me whenever we want to, hold my hand, walk me down the street, proud to claim me and make me feel special, like it was just him and me. And Teddy cuddled me all night long, he even hugged me. Sex felt so much nicer with him because he let me do whatever I wanted to with him and we even did public stuff. Like there was no rules and I was so happy to be finally treated and wanted that 1st couple of weeks with him. Jay never let me do any of that with them because of Ayunna, but real talk I think it was because of Jay's dysphoria and intimacy issues as the reason why we never made out, never held hands, and Jay only hugged me once out of 2yrs of us being friends and I've never met a person who had such a serious against, against approach to commitment, sex, kissing, or even just me asking them some personal questions about their past. It was like they were so scared for me to see them without the masks on masks they wear around Ayunna and especially other people's families.

Jay wasn't the right man I was looking for to have a family with, even though I got so close to them, but they weren't close to me. Only time Jay revealed something was when they figured I was gonna leave or date somebody else.

which also leads to my other rebound Taty, who I just blocked on insta cause I hate seeing her face now since she won't do the reciprocal courtesy of returning me my only hoodie from College. I want it back cause it's mine, and I alreadypaid $10 to get hers sent back. She's slow and petty. and it's already been a year since I broke up with her. At first I thought we could be friends after breakup, but I realized her being the nicest girl.....at first.....then switching up on me, blowing me off, not talking, ignoring texts for hrs just to play video games after I already waited to text her when she usually got up at 3pm or 5pm due to her lupus....that should have ended sooner because I wanted a gf to do gf stuff with, like yes, serious relationship with somebody who actually went out of their way to sow me a handmade pillow by herself and even wrote a beautiful love letter, like I always wanted to have from someone who means alot to me. Poetry included.

I really thought taty wouldn't let me down and was serious about me like she had meant in her gifts and attention in the beginning. I didn't like how after she told me her depression was making her disconnect from me, that she goes and hangs out with her friends more, not really making plans with me anymore, like I was the one planning quality time...

And she didn't care how that made me feel and I felt so alone about it. Like they went on a trip up in the great lakes and she didn't think to ask me if I wanted to come and other people bfs went....like wow

Slowly cutting me off, like if you were losing interest in me why not say so, so I could end it earlier?

And then she goes to tell me she's dating her married friend, whose wedding we were supposed to go to together. Like no wonder, you blew off quality time with me to go stay at her house after the bridal shower? And I took a 40 min ride all the way up there to come see you....like get your priorities straight.

Obviously I didn't matter that much to you, so yea I broke up with you.

There's only so many times I can tolerate being blown off or pushed away and then I go ghost, I go cold and numb, and yes the truth is revealed, and then I turn into a bitch. And I hate getting like that. Especially if I'm over on the other side, by myself, cause weren't communicating with me.

And I hate her for that shit too. Cause she thinks she did nothing wrong. As if she has every right to keep my Hoodie, my personal property, just because you don't feel like it. Your grandma practically still takes care of you. We ain't a good match either.

so now I'm alone....no new friends yet....still bitching.

cause I don't know if the next time I trust somebody, are they gonna use me, make fun of me like JA, take my money, hurt my soul, and showoff that they care in front of my face, but really out here doing shit behind your back for themselves...

I don't trust anybody right now, not even family so much too. And I don't wanna go down that road.

Maybe I just need to go in the gym like Hodgetwins and get so swollen and buffed up that it won't matter how exes used to treat you in your old body. They can't disrespect in my new one, cause Imma feel 10x better, and 10x stronger than before. Cause I don't want no immature, shallow fuckboats try to treat love like its a business or a silly little ass girl who don't even know the 1st thing about true, mature relationships like I've seen or had to deal with all by myself.

I've never had a partner who treated me like their future was present and that I was the only woman they needed in their life to really make my dream of real true love come true. And I'm disappointed in everybody who let me down and to believing that the right one for me is gonna treat me right, and not hurt me like the dumb bitches they all were. I hate them for that. They make me wanna give up my love for love and just work without even really going for anything because it's scary.

It's scary knowing that even when someone who asks you out, tells you they like you, hugs you and kisses you, can switch up on you and not think you're the one that whole experience you were with them.

I trusted everyone and they hurt me right back.

And they didn't care

And I can't make them see that, how unfair it was to be always waiting, being treated like I was so unwanted, but just want me to be there when they wanted me to.

It hurts that I can't call or see Jay face to face to actually get closure on why the fuck did you play with my head for so long and my heart for so many years, while you jeopardized every sexual relationship I'll ever have later on in life because I can't trust another man, another girl, who kisses me or even touches me because I'll always think I need to wait or runaway before they hurt me like you did me. Lying to me with a smile, a kiss meant nothing to you, but it did to me and you knew that. You steady manipulated and led me on, thinking that we could just move on from the damage because you didn't want to say sorry or treat me better, or do things right. You always acted like when I tried to call you out, I was too emotional, too sensitive when honestly the stuff that you said, the things you did, I could have sent you to jail for.

You're a dirty, low down thief, a tyrant, an opportunist. And I hate every single piece of shit who reminds me of you. The sociopathic, sadist, Narcissist with dissociative identity disorder that they probably need to see a psychiatrist for to get that checked every year. Jay abused me and used me, and I thought the power of love would have brought us together in peace, in good harmony, able to speak our minds freely and friendly, be on one accord with each other.

But Jay's too sick in the head to even care or even Apologize and own up to what they said. Felt like chutes and ladders, always going up and down and around my old self for them. Even bringing my child like self into the bedroom, the one I should have kept protected.

Jay is nothing but a coward, a weakling. Changing their name to escape the past they brought upon themselves or was inflicted on them by someone else. Never really showing who they truly are or who they care for, except Ayunna. Just like playing cards. They played themselves when they thought I could never change, I could never learn who they were, when they repeat the same moves in different stories.

Jay never thought that I could outgrow them and they not know where I am or who I'm bringing a baby home to, or who I am today. Jay needs help, medicine, therapy and a solid family home.

And I have to keep forgiving even on days like today when it's hard to not think about grandma and me not wanting to go to this interview because I don't need anymore pressure 🙃

..

[yoongiandchiminie]

P R E S S U R E { 1 }

;series;

masterlist

{Part 2} 

Pairing: Reader X Yoongi

Word Count: 6,748

Genre: Romance, Smut, Fluff

Warnings: Smut, daddy kink, cursing Summary: After dating for almost 3 years, the armys and Yoongi’s label have found out about your relationship. Now you have to deal with it in your extraordinarily normal life.

I didn’t mean to start dating Min Yoongi. I’d simply gone into New York City. I had taken the day off from work weeks in advance and gone in with my friends then ran into him at Bryant Park. I’d heard BTS before, but honestly, I had no clue that they were there at that time. I later learned it was for some meeting, but we never really talked about the details of one of our favorite days.

We’d made eye contact. He was in front of the fountain taking pictures of it and himself, and I’d noticed him out of the corner of my eye. When we tell this story, he likes to say that I was staring at him with heart eyes. In reality, I watched him for 10 seconds and within that time he’d notice me and given me a coy smile. Then he jogged back over to Jimin and Namjoon and I shook my head clear of that and back into my friends conversation.

I hadn’t noticed the 3 boys following us across the street into Kinokuniya Bookstore. We simply went across the street to look at the manga, figures, and all of the cute stationary. I was there with my two best friends, Alicia and Julianna. They had wandered off, crying about some manga about stray dogs and I was alone in the basement of the store, looking at the stationary when I felt a heat on the back of my neck. I always got nervous when I was alone, simply because I had some terrible anxiety.

I was the mom friend in the group, so I had to take charge in certain situations. For some reason, inside of flight I choose fight. Boy, was it the right choice. I’d turned around the see who was staring at me and it was him, Him with his blonde hair. Him with his soft face. Him with his all black outfit and snapback, hiding from the world.

Before I got the chance to ask why he was staring at me, he stepped closer and held out his hand.

“Min Yoongi.” he introduced and I shook it.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N). Can I asked why a perfectly good stranger has been watching me like some creep.”

He chuckled. I melted. “Well, I can’t help myself to do anything, but to look at you. You kind of have my full attention and I also thought it was a little creepy. Obviously, you noticed me. So, I thought I would introduce myself.”

“What a gentleman.”

“You know, they have this cute little cafe on the top floor. Wanna come get lunch with me?”

His english was a little broken, but I managed to catch his drift and pick up on what he was saying. The way he spoke was almost rehearsed. Later, I found out that Namjoon helped him learn this little monologue so he could speak to me.

Then it was all a part of history. Our history. The six of us had a lunch together and Yoongi and I hit it off. He was trying so hard to speak my language, even though Namjoon had to help him a bunch. He was so… into me. It was crazy. I’d never had such an instant spark with someone, especially someone so reserved at first. I had always had this weird outgoing, loud guy type.

He was so captivating. He still is. Anyways, that’s how it started. After that lunch, he’d invited us to their concert that night. When I carried on, stressing out about how I had nothing to wear, he just waved me off. My girlfriends laughed at my constant need to worry about the silliest things in the world, just stating “This is how I was.” and that “he’d have to get used to it”. Which he responded with, “I plan on it.”.

On the way out of the store, he grabbed my hand and led me down the avenue. We were both totally aware he had no idea where he was off to, but he’d decided I was going to get a whole new outfit then stay at his hotel. I’d felt like I’d known Min Yoongi for years. His personality just vibed with me and the hotel part didn’t even come across in a creepy way? Then we shopped and went to his show.

Obviously, the next day he was gone. Off to some other city. But he never left me. My days were full of constant texts and calls. My weeks became filled with him flying in whenever he had a day off. My months were made up of stolen kisses and my year ended up in a relationship. It was a secret and we could handle it. The constant separation made keeping this secret from his record label so much easier.

Until 2 years later. 2 years into my bliss, we were caught by one of his fans. He’d flown in for the weekend and one of them had followed the car he got picked up in from the airport all the way to a parking lot of a Mcdonald's where he hopped into my car. We were in for some shit, let me tell you. My mentions were filled and so was my phone. BigHit now owned me in a way, sadly. After signing a bunch of contracts about how I wasn’t playing Yoongi and that I couldn’t run away with his money and I couldn’t reveal more intimate parts of him and if we got married I had none of his BTS assets and all of that dumb shit, I thought it had died down.

The armys didn’t hate me. Well, obviously some did, but the others made me feel welcome. Made me feel less scared about going public with my relationship with my boyfriend of almost 3 years. I was very straight forward with the things I could talk about and did whatever his record label asked me to. At first, it started with an hour long interview, talking about myself and us. Why we kept this all a secret and such. It ended with them surprising me with what I thought was a skype call, but Yoongi ended up being there. After 4 months.

When we were on the skype call, he told me to close my eyes for a moment so he could put on something silly or whatever. Then I smelt him, as weird as it sounds. He wore my favorite cologne and I started crying before he wrapped his arms around me. Within seconds I was buried into his chest, sobbing, as he held his hands on my face. He wiped away my tears for camera effect, but he also made sure to block my face from the limelight. He knew I’d be even more upset if there were suddenly gifs of me hysterical on the internet.

So, blah blah blah, right? Now, I’ll bring us to today. Currently, I was hiding in the fridge at my job at a super market deli. My manager knew I was in here and I was even preparing food in here to go in the showcase. Currently there were a bunch of pre-teen girls standing at the counter, all looking for me. It’d been like this for the past week and my manager Steve happened to feel bad for me today.

A few hours earlier, my twitter started to go crazy. The Big Hit account had decided to use me for some retweets and tweeted out my work address. So now it looked like I was having a fucking meet and greet, so I decided to be trapped in the fridge. Yep.

Steve walked in and kind of chuckled at me as I packed some yams into a dinner container. “I know you’re having a hard time out there, but we could really use you. It’s a little busy out there. It’s your meet and greet after all.” Then he broke into a full on laughter, patting his chest, to make sure he could still breathe at the end of it. I didn’t laugh because it wasn’t funny. Not funny at all. “I’m glad you’re sticking this out, you know, taking one for the team back here.”

In all reality, I wanted to ask to go home. It was starting to get cold and I forgot a jacket, but I needed the money. Not all of us could be K-pop idols and I didn’t want to really want to have to rely on him for money. Well, he sort of ruined my job. And my life. Maybe I could bill him for work interruption. I’ll sue him. That’s it, I’ll sue him. I’m not exactly sure for what yet, but I texted informing him about the lawsuit. He didn’t respond.

He also didn’t respond to my 20 other texts messages freaking out about the armys at my job or about how his record label was trying to sabotage our relationship. He was probably in the middle of overworking himself in whatever country he was in today. I had stopped trying to keep up with each individual one and just knew the basic area of where he was. I think it was Korea. Or maybe Japan. I knew it wasn’t America. That was in half a week.

They had a 2 weeks vacation and he’d decided to spend it with me. Every time he got a break, he tried to waste it all on me. I always bullied him into going home to be with his family or spend time with the band and the last 4 days would be reserved for us. This time he’d convinced me to let him stay with me the whole time. He’d even called my store and requested the two weeks off for me as he planned whatever he was going to do. So, starting Monday I would no longer be trapped here, I guess.

As soon as all of the dinner were packed, I stacked them onto a tray and kicked open the fridge door, subsequently hitting one of the chef's, Mike, with it. “Ahh, she emerges.” he joked, pushing my hat lower over my eyes. “Maybe you should go say hi to them. They’ve been here since your shift started.” He nodded at the 50 girls filling up the coffee lounge outside of the deli. I swished my mouth back and forth, debating the situation. “I’ll go with you, if that’s what you need. I know you want to, nervous nelly.”

I put the dinners down and grabbed my bag on my way back to my tundra. I pulled up the step ladder and took out my makeup bag, deciding now would be a good time to look good. Of course I wanted to go meet the girls. They made my boyfriend happy and support him. They support us. I guess it really did look bad if I hid all day. I was just so anxious about the entire situation. I wasn’t the famous one. I was kind of just riding along with the love of my life who happened to be a bit popular.

I pulled off my hat and took out the ponytail within my hair. I ran my hands through it and of course it was already a bit knotted. Nothing could ever be easy in my life. Whatever, this was for him. For his label. In the back of my mind I couldn’t shake the horrible feeling that everyone out there would jump me for dating him, but they were there. Here to see me. Hell, what do I even do? I work, I’m not even in school, and I sing in a band that purely plays in my friends garage because we can’t get our act together to even have a name.

I stood up and cleared my throat a bunch. When I got nervous my voice seemed to crack and I stepped out of my tomb. “Wish me luck.” I said to the guys I worked with and they just laughed and waved me off.

I pushed open the double doors and heard a few noises come from the direction I was headed in. “H-Hey guys.” I smiled, giving a little wave to the girls as they proceeded to run over to me and surround me. First, it started slow. I thought maybe they’d kind of stare at me from a distance, but oh no. Of course nothing can be civil and easy with me, can it?

They started getting closer to me and snapping selfies all around me, throwing out questions about Yoongi.

“What’s he like in bed?” I can’t discuss that. I legally can’t.

“Is this just a publicity thing? So the armys can feel like they have a chance?” No, I’m in love with him. He’s in love with me.

“You’re so fucking pretty. It makes me feel so shitty.” I’m so sorry. I’m so so so sorry. Please, don’t feel that way. You’re absolutely beautiful.

“Is BTS gonna tour here soon?” I don’t know.

“Why have you been hiding from us? What exactly are you hiding, Y/N?” Nothing. I was so scared. I’m so scared.

I wanted to respond to everything. I wanted to defend myself. I couldn’t get a word out edgewise, everything was trapped in my thoughts. I just smiled for all of the pictures and videos they were taking of and with me. I didn’t start to cry until I heard Steve yell for me behind the deli counter, asking if I was alright. Then I became hysterical. I covered my face and closed my eyes, only to hear him running across the wooden floor. He lightly pushed through the girls and pulled me out of there, back to my safe haven of the deli fridge.

Fuck.

I’d been excused to leave work early after that and Steve told me not to come in the next day either. After a little bit of a fight about it, he told me to start my days off early and that he’d talk to his boss about asking if those can be paid vacation days. I knew he’d say no however. The store manager had been pushing for me to work more because of all of the business I’d been bringing in by simply working there. We were up by around half a grand a day and boy did that make him look good.

When I pulled into my driveway, I unplugged the aux cord from my car and dialed one of the numbers I knew by heart. Yoongi’s international number. I rarely called him without asking, but I knew he had my phone call volume on. Only when it was an emergency I’d phone him right away.

It rang three times. “Mmmm, baby? What’s up?” Oh, he sounded so sleepy. I felt bad for about 5 seconds before I started yelling.

“How could you sleep through all of my messages? Boy, have I had a day.” I unlocked my door and slammed it behind me, only locking the top lock. I threw myself on the couch as I heard him groaning about sitting up to check his phone.

“Facetime.” Then he hung up and face timed me this time. By this point, I was upside down on my couch with a red face and an angry expression. I hit the green button. “You look so grumpy.” He chuckled.

“I am grumpy. Please don’t go on twitter for a few days?”

“So, armys were at your job.” I saw his face sink a little as he leaned against the wall.

I sat upright and fixed my hair in the camera mirror. “I kind of started crying and I got excused from work until after my vacation days. They probably think I’m crazy, Gloongs.”

“You’re calling me Gloongs? Look at you. The new dwarf in Snow White. Mopey.”

“I’m gonna hang--”

“No. Please no. You’re not okay. I’m sorry this is happening. I’ll fix it.” Then he hung up.

The way he went about his life was so weird to me sometimes. Knowing him, he was back asleep already too. Sleeping sounded like a pretty good idea, actually. I knew I could never take a nap, it was something I had learned to deal with. I’d always wished I could just pass out like my boyfriend. He had this uncanny ability to simply close his eyes and be somewhere else.

I stood from the purple couch in my living room and walked the total 10 feet to my bedroom. I swung open the door and fell straight onto my bed. The phone charger I kept next to my bed was gone and then I just let out my anger by screaming. I didn’t give a fuck about my upstairs neighbor in this moment or the 5 open windows in the little apartment my mother and I stayed in.  I was just frustrated.

The plug had fallen on the floor off of my mattress, luckily. Once my phone was charging, I called up my best friend Alicia. She didn’t pick up and I knew she was also asleep. Of course two of the most important people in my life had these weird sleeping habits I couldn’t get myself into. I could barely sleep as it was, let alone throughout the day.

I called her again as fast as I could. Normally after the first phone call, she grabbed her phone to turn off the volume for the second call. I always begged her not to because if there was a second call it was important, but she didn’t give a shit. It was almost crazy to me how my boyfriend and best friend were so alike. I really couldn’t fathom how I could handle two of them let alone one, but I did it. I guess my type had changed.

I must have called fast enough because I was met with a groan and a, “Ugh, what do you need?”

“Hey,” I almost choked up? I wasn’t sad, just stressed. “Can we do something?”

“Guardians 2 just came out, if you can get us tickets.” Usually, I was met with a no and that she was going back to bed. “What’s wrong with you?”

I put my phone on speaker and opened up the Chrome browser, typing in showtimes near us. “Oh, you know. I’m just casually getting stalked.”

“Yeah? Well, that’s karma.”

“For what?!”

“Dating a superstar. A hot, lazy version of me though. Yeah. Karma.” she broke into a fit of chuckles and I heard her get up and start rummaging through her clothes. “Do I have to dress nice? Am I going to get followed by some paparazzi?” I could hear her trying not to laugh.

“I’m wearing jeans and a fucking hoodie. The next show time is in 40 minutes, I got us side seats. I’m coming to pick you up.” Then I hung up, grabbed my keys, and ran out my door.

The movie was amazing, but my phone call with Yoongi later was not. Halfway through the movie, I remembered that he had wanted to see it with me. Boy, I wasn’t ready for the angry rant I was about to get, but I stayed up til 2 am for it anyways.

“Hey, baby.” I could hear the smile in his voice. He was in the arena in whatever place he was in now, getting ready for his show. “How are you, what’d you do after our call last night? Or your day time.”

“I went to the movies with Ali-”

“No you didn’t.” Oh no. He interrupted me. He was onto me, he knew. “Are you kidding me? I planned the tour around us seeing this movie during my vacation days!” He was screaming now. I heard Hoseok in the background asking him to calm down and heard my precious boyfriend slapping him away. “You know what? I’m done.”

“Done? Dude, come on.”

“You’re fucking coming to Korea on the next flight and we’re seeing it together. You’re off from work anyways, I’m not taking no as an answer. Hoseok, please take my card and find her a flight. I’d do it, but she won’t pack anything that she needs if I hang up to look.”

He was right, sadly. For such a put together person I over packed unessential stuff no matter where I was going. Day trips, week trips, I packed my entire room up for those.  “Don’t make him book me a ticket. I can buy my own.”

He broke into a fit of laughter. “Shut up, no you can’t. I got you out of work, so let me compensate by paying. You also can’t argue with me because it’s done. Check your email.”

He was right, I couldn’t. The flight was in about 3 hours and I was an hour away from the airport, so I started to pack. He scolded me about packing 3 times the clothes I needed when it only a four day trip. They had three more shows left to end their tour and would be in the same area for all of them. So I didn’t have to feel guilty about more travel expenses and such like I always did.

Of course I knew he had the money to spend and such, but that was the thing. I didn’t want to be pampered by him at all times just because he could. I liked being able to support myself and not feeling like I was using him for his money. I was so in love with this kid and I had been for the last few years and that was the last thing I wanted him to believe.

Yeah, I was working a part time minimum wage job and he was touring the world, but I didn’t need him for such small expenses. Even though I guess a plane ticket wasn’t small. On the cab ride to JFK airport, I was just enveloped in my thoughts about him that I didn’t even realize when we had arrived. I was forced out of my head by a loud honk and the man in the front seat telling me to get out. I passed up a 50 dollar bill and grabbed my larger than I should have suit case out of the trunk.

I never really began going to airports and flying before Yoongi. It was such a normal thing to him, but to me it was so extravagant. Not even including where you’re going, flying on an airplane was just such a cool concept to me. So I took it all in every time. Even if it fucked me over in the end. Which you already knew it did. I never slept, so my jet lag was extra bad during these. I just watched movie after movie, every time. There was truly nothing else to do for me than take advantage of that. I got too anxious sleeping in front of people, even if they were perfectly good strangers.

Whenever my plane landed in South Korea, I always regretted not paying too much attention when Yoongi tried to teach me the language in depth. I knew some basic terms to get me around, but he had practiced English for so long and so hard for me, that I really did feel guilty for not learning his native tongue. It seemed to always be a lingering thought whenever I was in his homeland, but he made me feel silly for thinking that. Stating that I had no true reason to learn Korean and that he didn’t want me to get good at it so he could always talk shit about me without me truly understanding. As much as I wanted to believe that was a joke, I knew it wasn’t.

After grabbing my luggage, I looked around for one of the security guards I knew would be getting me. I pulled my hood lower on my head and looked for the sign that Yoongi probably wrote. Knowing him it would say something embarrassing.  There it was. Booboo buns. He even drew hearts around it. He was such a dick, even when he wasn’t here.

I gripped my rolling suitcase with a hard fist as I walked over to the burly man and waved. He complimented me with a smile and turned his back on me to follow to the car outside. He attempted to take my suitcase from me and I just responded with, “Aniyo gwaenchanhseubnida.” Meaning no thank you. One of the few terms I made sure to know along with where is the bathroom and a few other phrases.

Once I was in the familiar black van, I finally closed my eyes. I didn’t know how far the hotel was and I didn’t bother to ask. Well, I didn’t know how to ask and I had no service here to even text Yoongi I was on my way. He definitely knew though. For a lazy fuck he was on top of important shit; like getting me around a place where I could easily end up lost. As much as I prided myself on having good direction value.

Of course I didn’t sleep on the way to the hotel when that was purely all I wanted to do. The security guard parked the car in front of the hotel and left the hazards on. He simply walked me inside and I said thank you and he passed me a card with the room number and key. From the lack of people around here, I figured the boys were at their show. It was around 8 pm here now, so it was almost a perfect time for me to sleep.

I power walked to the elevator and once it dinged I went inside up to the 18th floor. I closed my eyes on the way up as I leaned against the mirror on the side of the elevator. I hope I didn’t leave a mark or anything. I was probably all gross from that plane ride. If I had the energy I’d shower, but I just wanted to knock out and I bet that the bed here was super comfortable. Nothing like my mattress on the floor back at home. Ding. I was here. Floor 18, room 22. Of course it was at the end of a long hallway. Of course.

At this point I was almost ready to crawl down the hallway, but instead I jogged. I figured I was alone, but I was wrong. During my sprint, I ran into random man and completely ate shit and fell. He said, “Sorry, sorry.” but continued running in the opposite direction of me. Awesome. Now I was tired and bruised and probably had fucking rug burn, but I was over it.  I stood up and just pushed the thought that I got to see Yoongi when I woke up. I swiped the card through room 22 and saw it. The beautiful, big bed. The door slammed behind me and I kicked off the moccasins I’d been wearing for the past almost 16 hours. A smile loomed over my face as I tiptoed over to the empty bed and stuffed myself into it. Within a minute, I was out like a light.

I was awoken by the light turning on, but the thing that pushed me into being awake was the stench that followed it. I coughed to clear my throat and sat up. I opened my eyes to a smiling Yoongi at the foot of the bed. My eyes were still adjusting to the change, so he was a little blurry to me. “Why didn’t you shower there?” I asked. It totally wasn’t the first thing I wanted to say, but I kind of hurt a bit too much to move or yell.

“I wanted to see my girl.” His smile turned into one of my favorites. The gummy one. Then he crawled over to me, rubbing his fingers across the dimple that lined my face. “You’re so pretty… and bloody?” He chuckled, “Did you fall or something?” He peeled the blanket off of me and I was as confused as the look on his face. “Oh, come on. You fell?”

I couldn’t help but to laugh. There were a bunch of scratches on my arm from the carpet that had torn just enough to bleed. Then I just ignored it, so here we were. “Yeah, I fell. I was super tired and ran into this guy-”

“Someone ran into you?” He pulled me into his smelly arms and squeezed me. “You didn’t yell at him? Shame. I love it when you’re a firecracker.” He kissed at my cheek, towards the corner of my mouth. “Wow, I missed you.”

He continued to leave small kisses around my face and I knew I wasn’t sleeping anytime soon. I turned around so that I was looking at him and he had changed his hair. “Green?” My face lit up, “You did my favorite hair color again?!”

He bit at my nose, “Yeah. I gotta make sure this vacation is perfect for you.” He went back to kissing around my face. Whenever we met up, it always started like this. He missed the physical interaction, but never pushed me into anything, He always started slow.

“How was the show?”

“Amazing, as always, but I was so distracted knowing you were here and laying in my bed without me.” His kisses began to trail down the side of my face to my neck, his second favorite place to be at for a while.

“Can we shower? I don’t want to fuck you- No, that’s a lie. I want to fuck you really bad.”

“Blunt today?” he breathed hot air down my neck as he spoke in a sexy whisper.

“I’m gross and so are you, let’s shower.”

We both walked into the bathroom and started stripping each other. Nothing too sensual at first, until we were both in our undergarments. We both just looked at each other for a minute. Observed each other's flaws and imperfections as if it was the first time seeing each other naked, but boy was it not. Honestly, I think that’s what made us love each other so much. Everything was always the same, but it was always new.

“God, I’ve missed you so much.” Yoongi breathed. He undid the clasp on my bra and as I took that off I felt his long fingers slide down my back to pull down my lacy panties I’d been in for probably the last day. I breathed out a gasped when he touched me. His fingers were cold even though the bathroom was slowly heating up. I pulled on the waistline of Yoongi’s boxers, suggesting for him to take them off. Even if we were caught in a moment, he couldn’t help but to slightly laugh at my little motions. I was never truly the one in charge of these situations, but considering it’s been about 3 months since we’d last seen each other, I was getting a little antsy.

He grabbed onto my hand and led me into the shower. As soon as I turned the shower on he started attacking my neck with little kisses. Nothing too aggressive, but hard enough to leave a faint bruise after each kiss. I turned around to face him. God, he was beautiful. We moved closer to each other and our lips finally connected. The kiss was soft and sweet. Then of course leave it to Yoongi become aggressive. With one swift motion, he lifted me off of the ground and made me wrap my legs around him. He pushed me into the tiled wall and I could feel him against my heat.

“You came all this way for me, I figured I might as well do something for you.” He said.

“That’s fine by me, daddy.” I teased. I could feel him fucking harden against me. It was really hot. I knew it was one of his kinks. He would never admit it to me but whenever I called him that it would almost instantaneously turn him on. Now that I did that, I knew I was in for a world of trouble. Aka, him getting mad if I called him anything other than that or sir. I did it anyways, him being mad was pretty hot in these cases.

“Yeah?” his voice was raspier now.

“Okay, Yoongi.” I smirked, excited for the outcome.

“Don’t you dare call me that now. You started this,” Yoongi growled. He let me sink a little bit again the wall, only to duck his shoulder under my left leg and put it on top. My breathing hitched as he got me into one of his favorite positions. Also because this was dangerous. We could die. Then it would be all my fault and his army would kill me.

I was taken back to the moment as he kitten licked up my slit and pulled away right before he got to my clit. He chuckled at the little gasping noise I made when he stopped and lifted up to touch me, but instead of going where I thought he cupped my chin. He smirked and kissed me so hard that I could almost feel the purple that my lip was going to be. He let go of my chin and began to lazily trail his hand down my body, making sure to go over my most sensitive parts in his little teasing session.

His eyes never left yours as he teased a digit inside, but quickly pulled it out. Before he started anything else he made sure I was secure against the wall and in his left hand. He did the same motion again with his middle finger and I gasped as the loss of touch.

“Please-” I begged, reaching for his wrist.

He slapped my hand away and squinted his eyes at me telling me to stop. This time he put in two fingers and curled them inside of me, my eyes closed from habit.  “I want you to look at me while I touch you, princess.” He scolded. I could literally feel my insides turn to mush with his words as I bit onto my lip. His two fingers slowly moved inside of me while his thumb reached up to rub my clit. He kept curling and uncurling his fingers while rubbing little circles. All I wanted right now was to moan loud and sink to my knees, but I couldn’t lose my voice yet and I was pinned to the shower.

At this point he lowered me onto the ground, still keeping my leg on his shoulder. I gripped the shower handle as he moved his mouth onto my clit, lightly sucking on it while keeping his fingers inside of me. I wrapped my leg over my shoulder. He added a third finger and continued to curl them. I reached my other hand out and ran my fingers through his hair, being careful not to pull the green too hard. I pushed my hips down and mumbled a fuck. He hummed into me as he removed his fingers and licked up me one final time.

He pulled his fingers into his mouth, sucking on them while not breaking eye contact. “Better than ever.” He let my leg down and I still needed some support. I reached my arms up lazily and wrapped them around his neck, kissing him softly. He, however, didn’t want soft. The kiss quickly became intense as he slipped his tongue into my mouth. He ran his hands up and down my back, eventually landing on my ass and gripped it like he was holding on for dear life.

The kissing stopped for a moment. “Are you sure you don’t want me to-” I pulled one arm off of him and brought it toward his hip. He reached out for it with his own, lacing our fingers together. It felt less intense in this moment, as he smiled purely and took his other hand to my cheek.

“Let me take care of you for once. Let me fuck you til you beg me to stop, (Y/N).” He spoke in is normal voice, except a little bit higher. I simply bit my lip in response. Leave it to Yoongi to always know what to say to make me wet.

He lifted my leg back up again and placed himself at my entrance. In typical Yoongi fashion, he rubbed the head up and down my folds, barely dipping inside. “Please.” I begged, barely audible. He just smiled and slowly pushed into me. Within seconds, he picked up speed. He went at a mild tempo at first then as I put my hand onto his shoulder he lifted my leg higher and all you could hear was muffled moans and groans along with the slapping of skin.

He gripped my thigh as he thrusted in and out. He never broke eye contact with me and as much as I wanted to close my eyes, I stared right at him. When I reached my high, he knew. I knew he was close too. “Can I?” his eyes darted down to his cock. I nodded as I was unable to even speak. He fucked me right through my orgasm and my nails scratched through his skin. As soon as I was done, he moaned out my name as he came inside me. He lowered my leg to a more comfortable position and then pulled out.

Before putting me back onto the ground he made sure I was leaning on him and had my hand somewhere else. Fuck, he knew me too well. He hummed into my ear as my back leaned against his bare body. He ran his fingers through my hair and I felt a stinging in my eye. “Yoongi stop!” I yelled, squeezing it shut to try to comfort my pain.

“What’s wrong? Was I being too aggressive? I know it’s been a bit and I know you can barely walk right now but maybe y-”

“No, it’s not that-”

“Then what’s wrong?” He wrapped his arms around me, turning me in towards him.

“You got shampoo in my eye.”

He gulped. “I wasn’t holding the shampoo-”

“Then what’s in my eye?!” I yelled, reaching one hand up to rub it. He started to laugh.

“Babe, I am so sorry.”

For the rest of the shower, I just leaned into him after getting whatever was in my eye out. I missed being with him like this in such a personal way. We didn’t even speak, but we were so in tune with each other when we were together. He took care of me and I took care of him. In this moment, it was his turn. He knew I’d been hurting lately, mentally and now physically thanks to him. It was moments like these I was so grateful for him. I was always grateful for him.

He reached over me to turn off the water and pulled a towel off of the rack outside of it. He twirled it around me and then one around his own waist. He kept one arm around me as he patted some of the water off of himself. “You tired?” He whispered, patting me down a little bit before lifting me bridal style out of the shower.

He laid me onto the bed still wrapped up despite me still being well covered in water. He got in next to me and covered us with the warm blanket, pulling me close to his chest. He liked to sleep while in contact with me, despite what it may be. Tonight his arm was around me, but most nights his hand was on my hip or thigh . Tonight was different, he wanted to closer than usual. We which we already were. Our usual is across the world.

“Hey, Yoongs.” I whispered into his chest. He made a noise signaling he heard me. “I love you. I love you. I’m so in love with you.”

He ruffled my hair. “Shh, go to sleep.”

“Reassure me.” my unnecessary anxiety spoke out.

“I’m so in love with you. I’ve loved you since I’ve known you. You’re the strongest woman I know. You’re my sun and I love you. Darling, am I in love with you.”

Authors Note: Hey! I hope you enjoyed chapter 1 of Pressure! If you guys liked it, I’d appreciate if you let me know! I have lots of plans for this and would love to continue writing it! Thank you guys.

part 2 →

#bts #min yoongi #yoongi min #yoongi fanfiction #yoongi imagine #suga #suga fanfiction #suga imagine #suga smut #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #reader x yoongi #suga x reader #reader x suga #bts fanfiction #bts imagine #bangtan boys #bangtan boys smut #bangtan boys fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfiction #fan fic #fanfic #army #armies #y/n #yoongi x y/n #suga x y/n #y/n x suga #y/n x yoongi

[fanficcollection]

Tumblr - Girl (Part 8)

Tumblr – Girl (series) Part 1 Masterlist

Pairing: Misha Collins x reader Summary: answer time Word Count: 2.148 Warnings: it’s a quite smooth one, parts of a panic attack, mental illness, maybe parts of implied rape

Notes: it’s been some time, but here it is, part 8! Woho.. it’s a quite smooth one, but I hope you like it in spite of that.

As always loads of love and thanks to my precious beta @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki you are truly wonderful! Thanks so much!

Enough talk, enjoy Part 8. :)

Mishas POV

With some new energy the text gave me I mastered the rest of the convention, the panels flew by and soon it was time for the closing ceremony and with the knowledge of Y/N being okay I could enjoy the whole day. I had a smile tugged on my face and when the whole convention sang “Carry on my wayward son” together I got goose bumps. From time to time I saw Jensen looking at me, and smiling, sometimes I met his gaze and he seemed truly content with the situation.

After the convention ended, I went to my room, there were two more hours left before our drivers picked you up for the flight back to Vancouver. I first packed all my things to my carry-on bag, I never brought much stuff with me to a convention weekend, then I lied down on the bed, took my phone out to make some notes on my answer, which I wanted to do later, but then I saw there were a few messages from the cast:

 Rob (5 min ago): Hey buddies, what about some farewell-drinks? In 10min in the Lobby? Dick&Rob

 Jared (3 min ago): Mish, are you joining for some drinks?

 Jensen (2 min ago): Are you in your room? I’m on my way to you before good-bye drinks. :)

After reading that text I heard a knock, probably Jensen. I quickly jumped up and went to the door to open it. When I saw the familiar face I let him immediately in the room. “Are you joining for the goodbye drinks?” he asked and the first time in a few weeks I really thought about it and nodded.  “I think it’s not a bad idea.” I said and smiled. Jensen smiled as well. “Good to see you this happy, bro” he said and patted my shoulder. “Have you answered her yet?”  he asked. “No, I guess it will take some quiet time to find the right words, I don’t want to put pressure on her and I don’t want to send just a ‘quick text’.” I took my phone from the nightstand and went to the door “Ready to go?” I asked looking at Jensen. He nodded slowly and left my room before me so I could lock it behind me.

 Later that day, back at my place in Vancouver I took my laptop, it was an important text and writing it was a lot easier on the computer, there was more space and it was easier to organize the scraps of words I had in my mind at the moment. First I put my earplugs in and looked up a inspiring playlist then I opened tumblr and started typing slowly, I often typed and deleted it, it took me a while to find the right words, but then it started to fit together.

“Dear Y/N,

I hope you got all my texts, every single one, I as well hope you saw what they meant, they mean that I’m there even if you are not, I don’t stop being there, I’m here when you need it, when you are ready. It’s sad to hear that the demons are still chasing you, but I was so happy to read that you are still fighting them, that’s a quality that tells a lot about you.

And as I told you, unless you want me to stop writing, I’m here, there is nothing to forgive, nothing for you to feel bad about and once again, because no one could ever hear it too often, you are important! To me, to other people out there, I care, I’m here when you need someone to talk.

Y/N, what you said about the characters and the actors really got into my mind. You are such a strong girl and I think I got something that would maybe help you to keep up your fight. Some time ago I got myself some Con-Tickets for Vancouver Con, but sadly I can’t attend the con due to job issues, so I have to find someone to give my tickets to. Would you like to attend the con? I know, it’s probably hours of flying from your home town, but I would give you the tickets for free. Please, do me a favour and visit the guys, meet them, see it as a reward for your brave fight.

I’m looking forward to hear from you!

Love,

Dmitri “

I read the mail again and again, but then I decided to just go for it and sent it. Hopefully she would accept the offer to meet us in Vancouver; it was a possibility to get to know her without revealing that I lied to her about my real identity. Maybe I could talk about it to her in person; at least I could try to avoid a misunderstanding by talking from face to face.

 Your POV

While reading all the messages you fell asleep, you were deadly tired even though you slept in in the morning. In your sleep you started crying, you dreamt crazy things about Jacob, you could almost feel his fingers on your skin and you started shivering by that thought. The memories of yesterday came up, you felt like you saw the scenes from some outside: you saw when he slowly pressed his lips on yours, when you first rejected it, because it didn’t feel right, your stomach turned by this scene, then you allowed it and even leaned into the kiss, you could nearly feel his lips, smell his scent.  

Then all of a sudden there was an annoying noise, you didn’t know where it came from but you couldn’t stop it. When you woke up you recognized what the noise was, your phone, an awkward standard ringtone. You first thought it was just an alarm you set to not oversleep, but as it kept ringing you noticed someone was calling you. “What?” you answered the phone without looking who was calling. “Hey darling” the voice on the other end said “are you alright? You sound sleepy, have you slept until now?” he asked, it was Jacob. “I’m okay. Just a headache and very tired.” You said shortly. “And no, I was up for a few hours, but then I laid down again, because of my head.” There was a bit of a lie in it, your head was okay, but you didn’t want to tell him that you texted Dmitri and you of course didn’t want him to know you cried the whole afternoon about Dmitri’s messages.

 “So can I still come over tonight?” he asked politely “I can bring some food, maybe pizza or Chinese?”  you thought about a good answer, he already told you in the morning that he would stop by for dinner, but somehow you needed some alone-time, but you were to slow. “You know what-“ he said, “I’m coming at about eight, I’m so sorry I can’t be there earlier. Is pizza ok with you?” You didn’t know what to say, you didn’t want to lose him, you’ve already lost Dmitri because of your shitty behaviour, so you just accepted and ended the call.

You decided to put on some comfortable clothes and go for a walk to clear your mind, university things floated round your head, there was not much time left this semester, you thought about getting a summer job, maybe travelling a bit. When you got into a nearby park you sat down for a moment, your mind wandered, you thought about everything and anything, you didn’t want to go back, everything seemed peaceful here. Taking your  phone out you scrolled through your Facebook feed; you were not one of the persons who posted every little thing, you were more the observer; you looked at profile pictures of your former classmates, many of them were in a relationship according to their profile. They seemed happy, but on the other hand, you as well didn’t share your down times, all the information on this page were just illusions of happy lives.

You closed Facebook, it made you angry to see all their lies. Instead you opened up Tumblr, Tumblr was different. A smile sneaked on your face when you thought of that convention, where Misha was confronted with Tumblr and trying to understand it; he had compared it to Facebook and every single one reacted not amused.  While your blog was loading a small sign popped up to show you that you had a new message in your inbox, it was about an hour old. Why didn’t you see that one earlier? Maybe tumblr was fucking around again. Then it dawned to you, the notifications on your phone were still turned off. Whatever, there were more important things right now! With shivering fingers you entered your inbox, it was from Dmitri, your heart sank, your stomach turned and your vision blurred, you knew it was his last message, it had to be, you couldn’t imagine he want to keep your friendship up after everything that happened.

You had to take a few deep breaths to calm down; it wasn’t easy to keep your eyes focussed on the lines when you finally managed to open the text. For a short moment you stopped, did you really want to read it, after that message you had most likely lost the human being you trusted. But you had to know if he at least forgave you. Yeah, you had to read it. So you started to concentrate again, tears silently rolling down your cheeks, you slowly read one word after the other you didn’t catch the meaning at first.

Unknowingly you looked out for some words of reject, some kind of insult, some complaining, but there was… nothing. Nothing like that, no hate. Like earlier in your friendship. There were just nice words, again. Why couldn’t he be human once, he always was so calm, so friendly, so caring. “How did I deserve him?” you mumbled. Then you started again, reading the text, processing it.

The next moment you got interrupted, your phone was ringing, again. You saw Jacob’s name flash on the display and you waited a moment before answering “Hey. What’s up?” you asked. Your mood was a lot better than before, to know you haven’t lost Dmitri lifted you up and there couldn’t go anything wrong today. “I’m right in front your door and obviously you aren’t at home.” Jacob said “I thought we said 8 o’clock?” You quickly checked the time, it was 5 minutes after eight. “I’m so sorry, I’ll be home in about 5 to 10 minutes. I completely forgot the time.” He said something you didn’t understand, but then his voice got softer “Okay babe, just hurry up a bit, the pizza is getting cold.” He said nicely and you promised to be there as soon as possible. Then you ended the call, got up and went back to your place, you were happy, nothing could break your mood tonight.

 When you arrived Jacob smiled friendly and gave you a hug with his free hand and pulled you in into a kiss, it didn’t feel that bad as you remembered it from yesterday. You kissed back lightly and unlocked the door. “Come in.” you invited him and closed the door behind him. “How was your day, darling?” he asked you while he put the pizza on a counter on the kitchen. “It started a bit nasty with the headache and so on, but then it turned out quite okay. I made it a lazy day, was quite cool. What about your day?” you asked back politely. “Was okay I guess, there wasn’t much to do at the hospital, so it got a bit boring, but I looked forward to this the whole day.” He answered and once again pulled you into a kiss. He gently stroke your neck with one hand and placed the other one on your back. The touch felt good and you leaned in it, you felt his lips curl up to a smile during the kiss and you had to smile as well. Then all of a sudden he pulled away and you silently whined. “The pizza is getting cold.” He told you with a smirk on his face and you nodded. “What about a nice movie and pizza on the couch?” he suggested and you quickly nodded. You let him choose the movie and he went with a romantic drama, then you got some drinks, non-alcoholic today and sat down next to him.

After you were finished with eating you put the carton on the floor and Jacob slipped a bit closer to you. You leaned your head against his shoulder and felt his hands caress your upper arm. It felt nice, maybe you were just too drunk yesterday to realize it, maybe you totally overreacted.

Part 9

Tag-List:

@chantelle-c333 @awolfamongstus @jannalionheart @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @evyiione @destielschild @xx-melissa-x @kcam1621 @captainsherlockwinchester110283 @smoothdogsgirl @kristendansmith @haappy-go-lucky  @laffytaffyhumor

#supernatural #supernatural fandom #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural family #superwholock #spn #spn fandom #spn family #spnfandom #spnfanfic #spn fanfic #spn fanfiction #misha x reader #Misha Collins #misha #jensen ackles #fanfiction

[jhyg-universe]

Secretary // BTS Mafia AU (MIN YOONGI)

tags > mafia

Y/N x Yoongi

Chapter One

©  moodboard @jhyg-universe

MIN YOONGI SECRATERY  

I could feel the wind rushing through my hair, the brown strands flying around my face like a dove. I ran with a speed like a cheetah, cherishing my last moments on this Earth. As I ran, I found a small alleyway to my right, the smell reminding me of dead rats killed by its prey. I sped into the alleyway, finding a dead-end. My eyes scurried around the alleyway, trying to look for any source of protection. My eyes scanned over a trashcan and without any hesitation I hid behind it, praying they wouldn’t find me. I let out a heavy breath that I had been holding since they laid their ill-ridden eyes on me. “Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in,” I kept telling myself trying to keep my eyes open from the whisper of sleep. After a few minutes of silence, I crept out of my safe haven, praying they weren’t anywhere near. I slowly tiptoed towards the entrance of the alleyway, my feet barely scraping the ground, the sound of mice scampering around me. After slowly tiptoeing back into the dim light of the night and looking around every corner imaginable, I smiled. “They couldn’t catch me, those bastards,” I snickered to myself. Before my feet could even reach to the right side of the street, I felt a chill run down my spine as I was knocked out, the last thing my eyes connecting with the face of those bastards.  

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

EARLIER THAT DAY IN THE MORNING  

As the pads of my fingertips connected with that of the keyboard, I heaved out a heavy sigh. “What am I even doing here?” I thought to myself. I looked at the blue screen, my hazel pupils connecting with all the unread emails I needed to reply to. I opened them all one by one scanning them with pretentious daggers. After what seemed like replying to millions of emails, I checked the time. 9:00am. “Only 9:00am?” I cried out loud to no one in particular. “it's only 9:00 am and you’ve only replied to what? Five emails? You’ve been here since 8:00 Y/N,” a deep yet delicate voice whispered behind me, making me jump out of my navy office chair. I turned around, my eyes falling on the man standing behind me with a smirk plastered across his pale face. I could feel my face turning into the shade of a tomato. “I well ye- yes,” I stuttered, blatantly embarrassed. He smiled at me, clearly enjoying the embarrassed state I was in. “It's fine, I’ll pretend I didn’t hear anything Y/N,” he chuckled at me as he elegantly walked across the room, into his darkened office. I slumped back down into my chair, my cheeks feeling like furnace being lit for the first time. I started at the plague plastered across the black double door in front me, the name Min Yoongi staring back at me.  

After a couple of hours of replying to more emails, scheduling for meetings and business parties, it was finally my lunch break. I got out of my squeaky chair, stretching in the process. I knocked onto the double-door, waiting for a reply. “Come in,” said Yoongi. I opened the door, revealing his beautiful yet simple office. When you enter, the first thing you see is his black desk put right in the centre at the end, the windows facing either side. To the right is a beautiful deep red satin couch with a see-through coffee table, a deep royal blue rug situated underneath. To the left is a magnificent bookcase covering up the whole wall with thousands of books containing knowledge. I may have taken a few of them for myself without permission. I walked towards the desk Yoongi was sat at, his dark eyes watching my every move. I stopped before him, talking in a soft voice,” I just came to ask if you'd like to have lunch together today? I know you're busy with all the new things that’s been coming through, but I thought maybe you should take a breather,” I looked at him earnestly. He smiled at me replying,” I would love that Y/N.” I smiled, bowing my head before leaving his office. I went back to my wooden desk, grabbing my baby blue handbag and grabbing my cream coat before heading downstairs to drive our favorite little restaurant.  

After about ten minutes of quietly driving, I approached the small restaurant. I parked the car, getting out and striding along towards the door. I entered, greeting all the familiar staff with a bright smile before I headed towards the owner, Kim Seokjin. Seokjin, or Jin like I call him, has been friends with Yoongi since practically childbirth, they were like brothers. I smiled fondly at him asking, "can I just get the usual please.” Jin smiled at me, one of the most handsome smiles I have ever soon and nodded whilst saying, "it'll take about fifteen minutes today.” I nodded, heading towards one of the wooden chairs taking a seat. After about five minutes I decided to go to the bathroom, my bladder feeling as if it was about to explode out of nowhere. I ran into the bathroom towards the cubicle. Once I was finished, I stepped out and cleaned my hands, my reflection staring back at me in the glistening mirror. My hazel eyes were drooping from the lack of sleep of these past few days. My chestnut brown hair wove together like an ocean, drooping just above my shoulders on my cream-colored collar button shirt. I let out a silent sigh, grateful I didn’t have to live that other life anymore. This is my new life.

I step out of the restroom and saw my meal standing neatly on the countertop, a gazing Jin smiling towards my direction. “Thank you Jin,” I say fondly. I grab the bags the food is in and walk towards the car. As I entered the car, I thought I could feel a pair of eyes staring at me like I was a piece of prey. I could feel a cold breeze come over me. I grabbed the steering wheel tightly, my knuckles turning into the colour of snow. I scanned around the road before departing back towards the building, butterflies circling my stomach with anxiety.

I reached back to the tall building, heading to the first floor to eat lunch with Yoongi. I couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was following me. I felt like I was invisible but only to myself, with everyone else able to see me dead in the eye without my knowledge. The tiny sound of the elevator opening brought me back into reality, clearing the thoughts out of my mind like a mop. I quickly sped out of the elevator, heading towards the office, holding my breath with anxiety. I knocked on the door, my belly rumbling with anticipation of food while my palms sweating like a waterfall. I heard shuffling in the room before the door creaked open, with a small Yoongi smiling at me. “Sorry Y/N, I can't eat with you anymore, I have to deal with something, sorry,” he sighed with an apologetic smile. “Oh no that’s fine, don’t worry about it,” I replied with a little disappointment. While Yoongi closed the door, I saw a small stature sitting on the couch. They seemed almost familiar to me. I felt a pin drop in my stomach.

After annihilating the food, leaving Yoongis in the staff fridge, I replied to more emails and went through Yoongis schedule, solving some mistakes if necessary. Nine hours later and it was already 10:30 pm. I could still see the light throbbing in Yoongis office. With a heavy sigh I decided to pack up and go home. I left a small sticky note on his door in small writing saying, "Have a good night! I left the food in the staff fridge, make sure to eat before you go home. And don’t forget to go home please - Y/N.” Yoongi was notorious for staying at the BigHit building overnight or even several days. However, after he hired me about a year ago just after I left that ill-ridden home, all of that changed. If he doesn’t go home, he knows he will have to face my wrath. He may be a successful businessman, but he still needs to eat and sleep properly. I went down the elevator, pressing ground floor. Once I left the building I headed towards the left, my apartment being only a fifteen-minute walk. The breeze hit my pale face, the air around me being crystallized due to the cold weather.

As I was walking, I could feel a bubble inside me ready to burst. With a steady pace and sweaty palms, I slowly wheeled my head around to be faced with a black car. Not just any black car. It belonged to my father. Before I knew it, I could feel my legs dragging me away like a ragdoll, my breath pacing faster than a cheetah. My heart was racing away in my chest, like a child leaving its parent after throwing a fit. I whipped my head back to see if they were still following me and to my horror, I saw three tall men chasing me right on my tail. My eyes wandered the street, looking for anything that could save me. My eyes darted towards an alleyway and before I knew it my legs jumped there like a kangaroo. I hid behind the trashcan praying for a miracle. After what seemed like hours, I went out of the alleyway only to be met with darkness.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

My arms wandered around me, my hands contacting with the feeling of satin. “I’m lying down somewhere, on a bed?” I whispered to myself. I grungily sat up on the bed. My head was pounding as if someone threw a boulder on my head. My head raced with questions filling every space of brain capacity imaginable. I quickly looked down thankfully to see I was still seeing I was wearing the same clothing items I wore this morning. Or at least I thought this morning, who knows how long I had been knocked out for. I slowly got out of the warm bed, walking towards the door like a sloth. I grabbed the rose-gold knob, slowly turning it. “At least they didn’t lock me in like a prisoner, unlike last time,” I thought. I slowly opened the door, the light blinding my eyes. After my eyes adjudged to the bright light, I stepped out being welcomed with two guards situated on either side of the white door. I sighed deciding best not to ask them questions, it's not like they’d be allowed to answer anything anyways. I wandered my eyes around the hall. On the right there were several doors along the hallway with a dead-end and on my left, I saw more doors and an opening towards a room at the end. I walked left, praying he wouldn’t be. Once I reached the end I was met with a small modern kitchen along with a velvet soft pink couch lined along with the opening in front of the kitchen.  

I stepped towards the kitchen warily, my eyes wavering every nook and cranny. I saw a small sticky note stuck on the coal-like fridge. I ripped it off, reading what it said. Darling we have a dinner meeting tonight for a possible suitor. I bought a dress and shoes for you; it’s lying on the small vanity in the room you were in. The chauffer will pick you up around 6:00 pm. Do not be late. Love Dad. I rolled my eyes with annoyance. He didn’t even bother to see his own daughter after he got his little henchmen to capture me. What a scaredy-cat. I opened the fridge, eyeing the contents inside. Milk, eggs and water. Great. I grabbed the eggs to make scrambled eggs. After finishing the eggs, I went back inside the room I was in before, opening the soft darkened curtains. The light shone around the room. It was small but delicate like a flower. Like me. When you walk through the door, there is a small queen-sized bed with cream coloured satin covers. Across from the bed is the locked stained-glassed windows, with the elegant violet vanity sat on the right of the windows. A small black box with a deep wine-red ribbon tied around sat silently on the vanity as if it was mocking me. I scowled at it. Next to the box was a golden wrist-watch that read 12:07pm. I wanted to smash that watch to pieces.

After what seemed like centuries, the clock finally read 6:00pm. One of the guards in front of my door escorted me outside the house, a firm hand holding onto my arm, caging me in like an animal. We approached towards a black car, the chauffeur opening the back-passenger door. The guard pushed me into the car, giving me snare as he closed the door in front of my face. The chauffeur entered the driver's seat without a single peep and off we were deciding the rest of my life thanks to my “ever-so-loving" father. I couldn’t remember the last night I dressed up or even the last time I went out for dinner with someone, unless all the night less “sleepovers” at the office with Yoongi counts. I wore a royal blue strapless dress, flowing beneath me like a waterfall. It wasn’t too tight, so I felt more comfortable in it. I wore black high heeled MaryJane's along with my cat anklet that Yoongi got me for my birthday. I wore the gold watch that was on the vanity along with small pearl earrings, whilst my short hair was straightened, scraping my shoulders. I wore simple makeup, not bothering with anything fancy. It's not like I care anyway. I looked at myself in the rear-view mirror, disgusted with myself in allowing to be caught and trapped back into this deceiving world I was born into to.

Ten minutes later with complete silence, we came to a stop. The chauffeur climbed out of his seat and opened my door. I looked ahead of me once I was out of the car. We were in front of one of the most expensive restaurants in this part of town. It glistened with waterfalls surrounding it, the water droplets crystallizing the see-through exterior making it look like a palace belonging to a water Queen. The front double-door had small indents of diamonds surrounding it. A long light blue runway carpet stretched towards the doors. The chauffer extended his arm for me to wrap my hands around. We walked towards the double doors, two employees opening it up for us as if we were Kings and Queens of a country. The chauffeur brought us to our table.  A light green cloth draped over a round table like from King Arthur with four pearl-like tables sitting around the table.  A bouquet of dandelions was in the middle of the table and a small chandelier above, making the flowers shine like the sun with the chandelier lights draping on it.  

My father was sat on one of the chairs, a sly smile on his face. “Darling, how nice of you to join us,” he said in a sarcastic tone, his daggered-eyes snipping through me. I smiled and sat down next to him much to my dismay. My father was a businessman but not just any businessman. He was part of the Mafia. He wasn’t on the top, the top of the ladder belonged to Bangtan, but he did pretty well for himself, but he wanted more. He wanted more and thanks to me, his daughter, he could get more by marry me off to some guy that I don’t even know and gain all the riches thanks to the marriage. I didn’t want that. I hated being the daughter of a man in the Mafia. I hated and so I left. I left my old life behind, found myself a job as a secretary for Min Yoongi about a year ago and lived a new life as twenty-year-old Y/N with a small apartment, new relationships, and no family. Unfortunately, that obviously didn’t last long.

I sat at the table staring into space. I hated it here more than anything. I felt like a trapped bird having no taste of freedom. My father let out a small cough, standing up in the process. I ignored him. He grabbed my arm and forcibly pulled up. I scowled at him, sending daggers into him. I quickly got myself together, patting down my dress and plastering a small smile onto my face. Two men walked towards us both with navy suits, one was obviously the father and the other was his son, the man I would have to marry. I looked down, trying to imagine myself out of this situation, crying in silence. “Hello Sir, I thank you for this pleasure,” I heard my father say. I cringed on the inside with his high-pitched over the top happy voice. He was nothing like that at home. My father nudged me with his elbow, indicating me to lift my head. The next few seconds felt like a blur. I lifted my head wearily, my eyes freezing over the young man before me. My possible husband. Min Yoongi.  

by: jhyg-universe

#bts #mafia #mafiabts #btsmafia #min yoongi #yoongi #suga #bts fanfic #bts moodboard #kim taehyung #kim seokjin #kim namjoon #park jimin #bts jimin #jeon jungguk #jungkook #hobi #jung hoseok #bts hoseok #hoseok #angst #romance #fanfiction #v #chimchim #bts jungkook #jeongguk #love #kpop #twice

[themusicplayedherlife]

Take a Chance (Part 1)

pairings: Reader x Steve Rogers characters: Reader, Natasha Romanoff, Wanda Maximoff, Amora (Enchantress), Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers word count: 1,860 warnings: a lot of mentions of alcohol a cussing, like a lot, implied one night stand a/n: based on a Spanish movie ¿Qué Culpa Tiene el Niño? that my mom and i love! this will have some similarilies to the movie but different circumstance summary: AU! After a one night stand at a friend’s wedding, you gain something that could possibly change your life and views on life for the better or worse.

Prologue||All Parts||Next

The sound of a door opening and closing drags you out of your deep slumber. You groan, feeling something grainy scratch your skin every time you move around your bed. Wait… your bedding isn’t this soft and light! And it definitely doesn’t scratch you so much. Oh. Right. Hotel. Hamptons. Wedding. Wait, hold on, okay, you're in a hotel room but why are you naked? You never sleep naked! Oh my god, whose hotel room are you in?! What the hell happened last night?!

“Fuckkkkkkk.”

Rolling out of the bed, you feel an uncomfortable soreness between your legs, almost falling off the bed because of the sudden feeling. You try standing up, wrapping yourself up in the comfortable duvet. With steady steps, you look around the room, seeing your dress from last night on an armchair and one of your shoes near the door leading to the living room.

“Phonee,” you whine with a hoarse throat, “where are you?” You hear a faint ding coming from the living room as if on cue and you follow the noise, picking up your dress and shoe as you go. As you do, your mind flashes with a memory of last night, a bottle of something pressed against your lips as you dance with your friends. “What the fuck happened last night?” you murmur, shaking your head and cringing.

A vaguely familiar bottle is jutting out of the white sofa in the middle of the living room, beside it, your phone is lighting up with incoming texts. Not noticing your other shoe in your way, you let go of the duvet covering your body and your clothes as you trip over it, landing right in front of the sofa. “Sonovabitch!” Too lazy to get back up, you press your face against the carpeted floor and stretch your hand up to the sofa, reaching to blindly search for your phone on the cushions. After a few attempts of trying to pat it out, you find it and slowly lift yourself with your other hand to get on your knees.

“Where the fuck are you? You’re not in bed!” Natasha.

“You’re gonna miss breakfast!” “If you don’t come down for breakfast in a few mins we’re going to eat it all!” Wanda.

“Seriously?” “Where are you?” “Fine! More for us.” Natasha.

“Okay, now you’re worrying us. Are you okay? Shit, did we lose you last night?!” “Oh my god! Did we!?” Wanda.

“It’s almost time to check out, you bitch! If you’re not here in 10 minutes, we’re leaving without you.” Natasha.

“We won’t actually leave without you but we’d feel better if you reply and meet us down in the lobby soon.” Wanda.

“We will so leave without you. I am hungover and I want my bed.” Natasha.

Fucking hell..

“Wow. You look like shit,” is the first thing Natasha says when you appear in the lobby, wearing your dress and shoes from last night, your hair completely disheveled and covered in sand and smudged makeup. She’s wearing a fresh pair of clothes and her short, red hair is in a low ponytail. A pair of dark sunglasses were covering her tired, gray eyes from the world, giving the illusion of being perfectly put together after a drunken night, until she revealed them by pushing them down her nose bridge to survey your hot mess.

“Thanks,” you drawl dryly.

Wanda, unlike Natasha, has her green eyes bare to the world, not caring that her eyes and appearance contradict one another. Her long, brown hair is still wet from having taken a shower and is wrapped in a lazy fish-tail braid. “Here,” she hands you your bag. “And here,” she gives you the key card to your shared hotel room. “We have thirty minutes until checkout time. Use them wisely.”

“I thought you said we were leaving in 10 minutes!”

“I lied,” Natasha replies bluntly. “I knew you’d hustle from wherever the hell you were if we gave you a time limit. Now hurry up and go, you reek of alcohol and have sand all over you! Go!”

“I hate you.”

16 Hours Ago

You, Natasha, and Wanda were watching the couple’s first dance from a respectable distance. Not too close to their families and not too far from the bar.

“I give them a year tops,” Wanda spoke loudly, already a little too inebriated from drinking at the pre-reception. Whatever the hell that was. Who even has pre-receptions anyway? It’s always just the ceremony and the reception! But no, Amora just wanted to do things a little differently than everyone else–wanted people to talk about her special night forever. Knowing her, she’d probably have more than one special night. Ugh, marriage.

You played with your champagne flute, not at all interested in your drink, there was going to be more time for drinking later anyway. Watching the couple pretend to be in love was much more interesting.

“Yeah, no, they wouldn’t last that long if she found out about our little tryst a few weeks ago. I mean, she would have raged quit the wedding the second she found out we fucked.”

“No!” you gasped scandalously, eyes wide as you stared at Natasha. “Sam!?”

“Yep!” she smirked slyly, drinking.

“Oh please tell us he went all shrink on you during sex!” you joked, sharing a glance with Wanda.

Wanda deepened her voice, “The reason why–fuck--you call me daddy in bed is because you need that–ohhh yeah–authority guidance you didn’t–uhh–”

“That’s disgusting,” you gagged at the same time Natasha rolled her eyes and said, “Shut up,” the two of you talking over Wanda.

“–that’s it, call me daddy, baby.”

“You can joke all you want but he’s the best fuck I’ve had,” she said smugly.

And you wholeheartedly believe her.

“Yeah, they’re definitely not going to last that long,” you said as you watched Amora pull Sam roughly into her arms when he spotted the three of you and tried waving.

“Poor, Sam.”

Poor Sam. Poor Amora. Poor everyone.

“These cocktails are way too good.” Your head felt light, and you knew that if you stood up you’d most likely have trouble walking straight. The shot of tequila that rested in front of you had yet to lose its appeal after having one too many. But even as drunk as you were, you know when you’ve had enough and you definitely had enough. “We can grill on Amora all we want but she knows her alcohol.”

Wanda hiccupped, laughing giddily. “You know what I love? That she doesn’t care what we say and still hangs out with us.”

“That’s because she’s desperate for friends and we’re the only dumbasses that have stuck around long enough,” Natasha said.

Wanda frowned, jutting her lip out, “I don’t love it anymore.”

“Good. You’re not supposed to.” Natasha downed back another shot. “Oh my god, hottie alert!”

“Where?” Wanda, who was pouting earlier, grinned, sitting up straighter.

“Headed our way!”

You were mid-water drink when two gorgeous men dressed in expensive suits step up to your table, one blonde and one brunette. The tall brunette was smiling with pearly whites while the blonde was trying to smile but instead looked constipated. Still handsome, just not very approachable.

“Hello, gorgeous ladies looks like we’re tablemates,” the brunette said, winking. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“We know each other?” Natasha voiced your confusion.

“The engagement party?” he said as if it were the most obvious thing.

It wasn’t. You hardly remember anyone from the engagement party, Sam’s and Amora’s parents being the exceptions. You were only there for an hour before escaping with Natasha and Wanda to catch your niece’s recital.

Before you or anyone else could say anything, Sam took the mic from the performers and thanked everyone for coming, for participating in one of the most important moments of their lives (you and the girls shared conspicuous giggles at that, gaining weird looks from the men at your table).

“Please enjoy the rest of the evening and PART-AY!” As soon as he yelled that, the platform that was hiding the DJ, lowered and the DJ soon starting play some upbeat dancing music.

“This is stupid,” Natasha bluntly stated, face void of emotion.

“So stupid,” you and Wanda agreed.

“Let’s dance,” Natasha’s face broke into a wide grin, rising from her seat and pointing a finger at hot brunette sharing your table, “You!” Then points at the blonde, “And you! Whatever your names are! Dance with us!”

The brunette grinned, “Our pleasure.” He slapped the blonde’s chest as if to get him to follow before standing up and following Natasha out to the dance floor.

Wanda and you were about to follow with wobbly steps when you noticed the blonde staring at his phone, seeming uncomfortable to be at the party. Noticing you weren’t following her, Wanda turned back and waited. You nudged Wanda to go ahead while you tried to convince Mister Constipated to dance, promising you’d join them soon.

“You’re not going to dance?” you asked, speaking loudly over the booming music.

Startling him, he dropped his phone on the table and you got a brief glance of a pretty blonde smiling brightly on his lock screen. He quickly grabbed his phone and locked it, sliding it into the inside pocket of his suit. “Ah, no, I’m okay.”

He looked up at you, and for the first time since he joined your table, you were able to see his eyes, blue and clear, with a speck of hazel or green in the inner iris. Wow, he was hot. Too bad he seemed hooked on that pretty blonde on his lock screen or else you’d have definitely taken him back to your hotel room, Natasha and Wanda be damned. “So you come to a wedding and expect not to dance?”

He blushed, ducking his head to hide from your eyes. “I came to the wedding to support my friend’s matrimony.”

You scoffed, “Oh, please. We all know this wedding is a farce.” All matrimonies are, you thought.

He frowned, clearly displeased with your words. “Maybe it is now, but you never know, they might actually grow to love one another.”

If he only knew.

“Whatever. Look are you going to dance or sit here moping all night?” His displeased expression morphed into one of surprise and you rolled your eyes. “I’m drunk, not blind.”

His nostrils flared in a silent sigh, “I’m sorry, I just–”

Before he could even get deep into his life story, you grabbed the shot you had left untouched and placed it in front of him, “Whatever is bothering you, forget it. Tonight is about letting loose and ignoring real world problems.”

“Not about our friends getting married?” he tried joking, but he was too stiff to make it pass as a joke. He was trying to deflect the attention away from himself.

You shook your head and pushed the glass forward with your index finger, “No, it’s not. We’re all here to forget, at least for a night.” He took it into his hand hesitantly, looking down at it for a moment before shifting his gaze to you under his lashes. “So bottoms up, blondie. Regrets aren’t for tonight, they’re for tomorrow morning.”

Or not for another month, at least.

#Steve Rogers x Reader #steve x reader #steve rogers imagine #marvel imagine #reader #reader insert #steve rogers fic #take a chance series

[babeimagineus]

Roommates Pt 1

Short series, so there will be another chapter coming up. slightly mature. A lot of drama. Justin moves in with Y/N, it causes complications.

“Yeah, its no problem!”

“Thank you Y/N, i’m sorry for asking last minute, it’s just cause you’re living close by and i really didn’t know who to ask and you were the first person that came to min-

“It's fine Jaz” I say again.

“Ok. I love you. I promise we’ll catch up later.”

“Yeah bye Jaz.”

I hang up the phone. I let out a well deserved sigh. When your best friend of nearly 10 years calls, whines and cries like a little 5 year old, asking desperately for a favour, you just can’t say no. Jazmyn’s younger brother suddenly needs a place to stay for a while because he ‘accidentally’ got kicked out by his roommates. I mean there had to be a good reason for you to get kicked out. I just hope he isn’t a handful to look after. I hope he isn’t that messy roommate who doesn’t pay rent, eats all the food and comes home at 3 in the morning. I really liked having a small home to myself and wasn't really looking for a roommate just yet. But I guess I can’t really do anything now. I guess Justin could stay here for a while, just until he could get back on his feet. 

I’ve known Justin for 10 years as well. Justin, Jazmyn and I use to run around their house and play together when we were young, like I was the third sibling. But I haven’t seen him since he was 15. I really no idea if he had changed or not. I just hope that he hasn’t like they say he has. Apparently he was a massive playboy, an arrogant immature ‘jerk’. 

“Knock, knock.” 

A sudden knock at the door appears. I didn’t really expect a friend today, so I’m guessing it was Justin’s arrival. I quickly walk up to open the door. Wow he really did change. He was tall, muscular and his hair was a dirty blonde. He wasn’t the little floppy haired boy i remembered. 

“Hey Y/N” he says cheerfully. 

He had a backpack on and a duffle bag along with him and not to mention a huge smile on his face. 

“Wow, you look really different Y/N” He smiles cheekily at me. 

“I could say the same about you.” 

I giggly jump at him, wrapping my arms around his structured frame, with his left arm still holding onto his luggage. He really did grow up nicely. Well what did i expect, he’s 20 years old now, we all change overtime but this boy definitely changed a lot in the 5 year span. 

“Uhh, Y/N” he slightly coughs out. 

I didn’t realise how tight I was hugging him. I quickly jump back, ripping my body away from his. He still had his white sneakers on, his backpack on and heavy luggage in his hand. 

“Oh sorry. I’ll show you your room. Follow me.�� 

I lead us to the spare room which is next to mine. 

“ta-da” 

I dramatically wave my arms towards pretty empty room. I mean it had a bed, closet, side table and a clear desk for him. Jazmyn had left this room last year and i haven’t had anyone stay here since so it was pretty new beside a few decorations she left behind. 

“I hope this is ok” I clutch my hands together tightly, nervous that he wouldn’t like it or something. 

“Uhh make yourself at home. you can change it if you want to. I don’t mind. It’s just that Jazmyn left all her fake cactus plants here because she didn't want the vase to crack while moving the-“ 

“Y/N” he speaks, knocking me out of my rambling mess. 

I look up to meet his brown pupils. He looks back at me. I didn’t even realise how light his eyes were. He had such nice eyes. The colour was a perfect honey brown. His skin was even nicer. It was a perfect light tan, it was so smooth, not a blemish in sight. 

“Uhh…Y/N. I’ll just settle in now.” 

I snap of my eye candying.

I quickly look down to hide the warmth quickly approaching my face. Gosh what was I thinking. I quickly turn around and walk out the door a bit faster than normal. I smack myself mentally. He had been here for 5 minutes and you’ve already made him feel uncomfortable. Get yourself together! I march pass his room and to my room. Frankly still mad at my past actions. This was not how you greet your guests! I needed to find my wallet and phone. I had to meet my boyfriend at 12pm and only had 5 minutes left. I quickly rip off my pj’s and change. I kneel down to my bedside table, grabbing my belongings. 

“Justin! I’m going out for a while.” 

I call out his name in a hurry, slipping on my white converse shoes. I jump up and peck my head at his door, wondering if he had heard me. He was slumped on his bed, clicking on his phone. He peers up at me. 

“Ok.” 

“Ok, see ya, don’t hesitate to call me. I have to meet someone in 5 minutes or --else we could definitely hang out.” 

I quickly smile before rushing out the door.                                                                          

“Sorry.” I quickly apologize before slipping into the opposite seat from my boyfriend. 

“Seriously, Y/N. Why are you always late.” 

He narrows his eyes at me, disappointment written all over his face. 

“sorry.” 

“Stop saying sorry, you were like freaking 1 hour late. what the fuck were you even doing.” 

“Uh, I had to-“ 

“Whatever Y/N.” 

He waves his hand in front my my face, almost like shooing a fly away and rolls his eyes. He grips his drink and sips his coffee, ignoring me completely. 

“I said I’m sorry, ok?” 

I hated when Andrew was like this. He always would hold grudges over the smallest things. 

“Whatever. Ok Y/N. Just order something and we’ll go home.” He says emotionless, eyes not leaving his phone screen. 

Not being able to stand him anymore, I stand up and pace myself out of the shop. We were suppose to finally have a date, after weeks, he finally agreed to go out with me on a ‘date’ to ‘enjoy’ each other's company for what felt like freaking 10 years. We had been together over 1 year now. Andrew was not like his the first months of dating but now he acts so harshly towards me, almost treating me like a stupid damn dog, even a dog would get better treatment. 

“C'mon! stop being a dramatic bitch and come here Y/N!” 

I spin my body around, fire igniting all over. We were standing outside a coffee shop and were going to have an argument again. This situation was so familiar. I did not want to put up with this again. I scoff at him and think about stupid we looked as a couple. I stomp into my car and drive back home, desperately needing to shut myself in my room, blast my music so loud until the neighbours make a complaint. 

I march into my house, slamming the door before slipping off my sneakers and walk to get a cold drink of juice. I grab the whole carton and take a big gulp. The cold beverage felt so relaxing. 

“Ughh” I sigh out loud appreciation. 

I see why this juice was slightly pricier than the others. It’s promised ‘refreshing’ taste was definitely refreshing. I spot Justin walking out of his room. 

“Hey” 

“Hey Y/N. Did you just get back?” 

He walks towards the couch, plopping himself down. I take a seat on the kitchen stool. 

“Well, have you settled in fine?” 

“Yeah, I know where everything is. I didn’t know i get my own bathroom.”

 “Yeah, you do. It's more convenient that it’s linked to your room right?” 

He stands up and re seats himself across the marbled counter top. He plops his hands under his face. His face was only a centimeter away from mine, his breathing warm, flattering against mine. 

“You look nice today.” He says casually. 

I wore a long sleeve crop and a cute skirt, nothing really special. 

“Were you on a date or..?” He speaks again. 

Wow his face was too close for my liking. I nervously inch away from him, a little scared i make a stupid mistake, especially when i was in this state. 

“Not really.” I say, ignoring the fact i was lying, I did not call that a ‘date’. 

The door flies open, revealing a Angry Andrew. 

“What is going on Y/N.” 

He quickly eyes between you two, eyes still blazing with fire from the earlier argument. He storms in and yells at you, totally ignoring the fact their was a guest in the room. 

“He’s my roommate. Jazmyn’s brother.” 

“When the fuck did you get a roommate?!” He raises his voice, angry at the fact you didn’t tell him. 

Well I’ve been trying to tell you, idiot. 

“Why didn’t you tell me! When did Jazmyn get a brother? Why didn’t you discuss this with me first?!” He continues to fire ridiculous questions at me. 

“I’ll just go..” Justin finally speaks, his voice reminding me he was still here. 

“ok, sorry for-“ I try to apologize for Andrew’s unwelcoming outburst. 

“Y/N. Come here. Now.” 

Andrew deathly eyes out his instruction, voice loud and serious, ignoring the fact I was trying to apologise to Justin, ignoring the fact we were not alone. He made me look so weak and pathetic. I hated this feeling. I felt like crawling under a rock at this point. Andrew was always demanding, angry and controlling. But he did not need to do this in front of Justin. 

“Fucking come here!” He yells even louder, his voice rising a hundred times more. I quickly stand up and walk towards him. He yanks my arm harshly, pulling me towards him. 

“Can we do this outside.” 

“Fine.” 

I drag him into my room, away from Justin. I shut the door before spinning on my heels. I didn’t know how to start this conversation suddenly, not really having any energy to keep up with him. 

“Well?” 

“He’s Jazmyn’s brother, he's in college. He just moved in this afternoon.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier? Y/N you know I want to know what’s going on in your life!” 

He clutches my hands, bringing them together. I sigh softly, completely drained from fighting. 

“Don't worry ok? I love you. Only you.” 

I wrap my arms around his waist, wanting to wrap this conversation up. 

“Sorry Y/N” He says as he wraps his arms around my neck. 

I mentally sigh. I prayed this wouldn't happen again, even though i knew it would definitely happen again.

I finally reach home after a long day at work. Gosh my ankles hurt. I couldn't wait till I take a warm shower and freaking sleep! I needed sleep! I open the door, slinging my bag onto the couch. I groan at the comfy couch beneath me. Maybe I shouldn't have a shower and should just fall asleep now. 

Justin suddenly walks out of the shower with only a towel wrapped around his waist. He casually walks into the kitchen, completely unaware of Y/N coming home. 

I hear sudden footsteps. I see Justin freaking half naked, his bare structured torso glistening. He was too much. This was too much. Before I could escape, he spots me. 

“Oh hey Y/N.” 

I smile briefly at him. 

Keep your eyes up. Keep your eyes up. Be normal. I mean I’ve seen many guys half naked, i didn’t know why this was any different. 

“I just came back from the gym and decide to take a shower.” 

He lightly chuckles, reaching up to run his fingers through his damp hair. That was the last straw. I couldn’t take it anymore. I stand up completely. 

“Uhhh- I’ll just take a quick shower too.” 

I keep my head down, unable to look anywhere but the ground. I didn’t trust myself. I quickly pace myself to the shower.

“Can we catch a movie today?” 

“Y/N I’m busy today, how about tomorrow?” 

“You always say that.” 

“C’mon babe dont be like that. You know i’m busy at work. I promise tomorrow ok?” 

“Yeah.” 

I hang up before mumbling a bye. I put on a random movie. After a while i was starting to get bored and cold. 

“Justin!” I yell for him from the living room. 

After a moment he stumbles out of his room, looking groggy. He wore a black hoodie and grey shorts. Wow he looked like a model even though he just woke up. Why did he even stay in school, he should've just went out and became a model. This kid. 

“Mhmm, what is it?” 

His voice rough and deep, making my insides jump a little. On the other hand he looked as if we wanted to drop dead, his eyes were barely open, his hair ruffled and messy. 

“Can you keep me company?” 

I really missed Andrew and he was never around. I haven't seen him in nearly a week! I mean Justin and I did get closer the past week, even though i always went work and he was always at college or out with friends. I just secretly hoped I wasn’t pushing the boundaries right now or made him feel uncomfortable. Was I asking for too much? 

“Sure.” 

His facial expression were hard to make out, not really knowing what he was thinking. Did i seem desperate? 

He shuffles onto the couch and lays his head on my lap, completely closing his eyes instantly. I smile, grateful that he was willing to keep me company even though under all the circumstances. It was 1am and it was so cold. I slowly drift off to sleep, my mind flying away.

“What is happening here?!” 

Andrew’s loud voice knocks me out of my dream, his voice was loud it’ll probably knock a dead person alive from it’s grave. I get up from Justin and I’s position. First thing I do was obviously explain that it was not what it looked like. 

“Andrew, we were ju-” 

SLAP. 

I hard fucking slap to my left cheek, so hard it made me stumble back a few steps. 

Tears instantly spill from my eyes. I tightly clutch onto the heated slap. It burned so bad. It not only burned but the embarrassment that came with it. I sparely glance my eyes at Justin. He looked just as surprised as I was. He was now definitely completely awake and aware of what just happened. I rush out of the door, grabbing my keys and running to my car. I’m over this. 

“Come back here!” I hear Andrew’s voice. I ignore it. I keep walking. I walk a little faster, not sparing a second to look back. 

“Y/N” Andrew grips my wrists and spins me around at once. 

“Look at me Y/N. How could you do this? Fucking explain cause i really want to know. W-was it him? Did he seduce you?” 

“Its over Andrew.” 

“What?” 

I don't reply for a moment. I had no breath left. He repeats his question again, still not believing his ears. 

“You heard me.” 

He scoffs loudly at me. I turn away, out of his grip and continue to walk to my car. 

“You fucking bitch. I can’t believe you’ll cheat on me like this. Now you’re walk away from me?! Seriously? All because that stupid kid appeared in your house two weeks ago.” 

I ignore him, especially his last comment.

“Cheers to being single!” 

You raise your what felt like 100th shot in the air, clinking glasses with a few of your workmates. You gurgle the stinging liquid down your throat. Gosh this felt relaxing. You felt out of this world. You felt the sadness fade away completely.

“Another one!” 

After a couple more hours, everyone insisted we finish up. You hazily stumble your way to the car. After a hell of a car ride you walk to the door. You were so glad you didn’t get hit and extra glad you didn't hit anyone. You pound repeatedly onto the door, being too lazy to find the key and open it yourself. 

“Justinnn.”  

You let my body clash against his, allowing your whole body weight to be supported by his. 

“Woah woah, slow down Y/N. Are you drunk?” 

He holds me up, examining you with a worried expression. You wore a tight black dress, done your hair and makeup, surely you looked nice. You confidently make a move. 

“Let's have some fun today.” 

As seductively as you could, you touch down his chest through his white tee. You bite my lip in anticipation as you feel his muscles through the thin fabric. He really did get hot in the past five years. You glance down eagerly, wanting to see what was under these clothes already. You could hear his breathing getting heavy, which was a good sign to carry on. You slip your hands under his shirt, feeling his warm smooth skin. You could hear his breath hitch. You push him against the wall before dropping to your knees. He stands still, his breath unsteady and shaky. 

“Y/N.” 

You palm him through his sweatpants. 

“Yes?” 

You peer your eyes up at him. 

“Please just stop this.” 

He grabs your wrists away from his hardening crotch. He was getting harder by the second, even by look at the sight of you being on your knees in front of him. He glances down at you, your eyes seductive as ever, hair blown out as ever and dress sexier than ever. Fuck, this was harder than he thought. 

“Does Justin not like me?” 

You pout your lips out. Justin scoffs mentally, you did not know how much he wanted you. 

“Just stop.” 

Justin almost begs you stop torturing him. You were drunk. He didn’t want you to make a mistake. He forcefully walks away with all the self control he had left and stomps to his room to take care of his now current problem.

You wake up to a pounding headache. Wow what even happened last night? Not a blink of what happened yesterday travels back. You slump out of bed. You glance down to notice you were still in yesterday's dress. 

You sigh in disappointment. You remembered you went out to drink with your workmates, no wonder you had a nasty hangover. You wriggle out of your dress and take a fresh shower to clean off your dead body. 

Almost zombie like, you slump your way to the kitchen. You spot justin eating his colourful fruit loops. Justin takes another bite despite aware of your presence. He tries to ignore you. 

“Justin, morning.” 

You hazily greet him. 

Justin recognizes the fact you were so normal, your voice steady like usual. You didn't remember yesterday. But Justin on the other hand remembered it all too clearly. 

“Y/N, do you remember yesterday?”

#justin bieber imagines #justin bieber fanfiction #dirty justin bieber imagine #justin bieber smut #justin bieber fanfic

[stuckinthekookiejar]

Distractions pt 3

Pt. 1 || Pt. 2 || Pt. 3 || Pt. 4 || Pt. 5 || Pt. 6  || Pt. 7 || Pt. 8 || Pt.9 || Pt. 10 || Pt. 11 || Pt. 12 || Pt. 13 ||  Pt. 14

Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Not really angst or fluff...I don’t really know

Summary: It was weird seeing him again. It was even weird knowing you’d be working with him, but you kinda had a feeling like it was going to be okay.

Word Count: 1721

Warning: like one use of the f-word...does this really require a warning?

“You wanted to see me?” 

“Ah, Yoongi. Yes, please take a seat.” Yoongi gladly accepted Bang PD’s offer and took a seat in front of his desk, “I wanted to talk to you about something. You see, I owe a friend a favor.”

Psh ‘favor’, Yoongi thought, Bang PD must’ve lost another bet again. He really should stop betting while he’s drunk.

“He needs help with something, and I think you’d be able to provide help.”

“What kind of help?”

“Well, you mentioned how wanted to try to produce for other artists. Since promotions are finished, and Bangtan isn’t working on another album yet, I thought I could give you an opportunity to help produce a song for another group.”

“Group? As in another idol group? Who...”

“You know 2S? The group under Music Box Entertainment?” Of course Yoongi knew, “They need help with a title track, and I offered to allow one of my producers to go do some sort of collaboration. So, how about it?”

Yoongi took in what Bang PD had to say. It was true, BTS wasn’t working on new music yet and he did want to try to produce for another artist. But he didn’t know how to feel about seeing...you. He knew this was a good opportunity to expand his credentials and gain more experience, but was it worth opening up a wound from years ago? 

It must have been worth it. 

“Uh, hello. I’m Min Yoongi of Bangtan Sonyeondan.” He bowed slightly at the five girls in front of him who in return bowed several times. The girls were obviously very excited to see one of their most admired sunbaenims standing in front of them. However, you were a different story. Yeah, you were smiling, but it was more awkward compared to the others’. 

Baek PD came around the aide of the long conference table, approaching Yoongi with a huge smile of joy and surprise,

“Wow, Bang PD said he was going to send over one of his producers...I never thought he’d send you! It’s such an honor.”

Yoongi waved his hands in denial, “Oh, no, no, no...”

“Ah, you don’t have to be so humble!” Baek PD pats the boy on his back, “But, thanks for agreeing to help us out. Why don’t we all take a seat, so we can start discussing the title track.” 

Everybody made their way over to the table but just stood there still in disbelief. Yoongi was right here. Yoongi was standing a few feet away from you. It was different from the time you ran into each other at that music show because now you’d actually have to talk to him...to interact with him. 

“Y/N? Are you going to take a seat...or do you want to stand?” Baek PD asked.

“Oh! Uh, right. Yes, I am going to take a seat...” You sit in the spot you always sat at. It just so happens that it was one seat away from Yoongi, and you thanked the gods that you had Sun-hee sitting in between you two. Seeing and talking to Yoongi was already enough for you, who knew how you’d fare if you had to sit next to him?

The meeting went on with no problems, other than you stealing quick glances at the pale boy who was once your boyfriend. You and the rest of 2S discussed with Yoongi and Music Box’s producers the type of music you guys wanted to make. Every time you stole a glance at him, you could see him quietly taking down notes on his laptop carefully listening to everything that each of the girls, you and Baek PD had to say. Finally, after so many years, you were able to see how he was in his element and you weren’t surprised. You knew he was the hardworking type, but seeing him actually work was such a nice thing to see. Sure, you didn’t want to see him. He made you cry. He made you insecure after your break up. He made you think, was I not good enough? But now, when you tried so hard to tell yourself not to feel anything towards him, you were feeling happy to know that he was where he wanted to be. He’s fulfilling his dream, and now you were fulfilling yours. Maybe working with him wasn’t going to be so bad.

“Okay, I think I have what I need. I’ll work with the producers and we’ll come up with some sort of demo in the next few days.” Yoongi stands and shakes Baek PD’s hand. He leaves with the other producers to get started on the song, but he doesn’t go without looking at you one last time. Your eyes lock for only a split second, but you could sense some sort of feeling in his eyes. It was a feeling you couldn’t read.

Yoongi came back to the dorms later that night. Kicking off his shoes, he entered the apartment and just goes into his room to finish writing the lyrics to 2S’ title track. His mind was racing with the picture of you bowing with your members greeting him earlier. You still looked like the same you that he broke up with, except now you looked more mature. You looked great. You looked happy. He wondered if you would be happy if he had stayed with you, if he hadn’t broken things off. 

Brushing those thoughts aside, he opened up an old notebook that he always kept for writing lyrics on the go and flips through the pages to see if anything would be useful, but stops when he gets to a certain page. Sometimes he’d glue things in his notebook. Anything that would give him inspiration he would put into this notebook, and on that particular page was a small wallet sized photo of you. His thumb glided across the image of your face.

“Hyung.” Yoongi jumped in his seat and quickly closed the notebook before Jimin could see,

“Jimin, you scared the fuck out of me. Can’t you at least knock?” The younger came in, rubbing the back of his head,

“Sorry, hyung. I just had a question...” He took a seat on Yoongi’s bed, “So my solo song I wrote for the WINGS album did pretty good...and I was wondering...I was wondering if I could help out writing another song...” 

Yoongi nods without hesitation. He wanted Jimin to explore his capabilities and if he wanted to write another song, then why not?

“Of course you can, Jiminie. Actually...” he thought to himself, should I tell him about this collab? It might be a good experience for him. 

He remembered that image of Jimin getting all giddy when you had mentioned him in that interview. He wasn’t so sure if he wanted to reveal that he was collaborating with your company to produce a song for your group which Jimin happened to like. 

“What, hyung?”

It is just one song...not like he’s going to sing with them...It’s not like he’s going to see you...

“...uh, well Bang PD gave me a project...and...uh well I have to write this song, you can help if you want.” Yoongi wasn’t lying. He was indeed writing a song, he just didn’t say who for. 

“Really! Wah, thank you hyung!” Yoongi couldn’t help but smile at his dongsaeng’s adorableness. He had Jimin pull over a chair and shared with him the notes he jotted down during the meeting. Yoongi enjoyed working with Jimin. They always played off of each other’s ideas very well, and soon enough the two of them writes an entire chorus and two verses within a course of only an hour. All that was left was the bridge, which Yoongi said he’d take care of. 

“Hyung, I got a question.”

“Yeah?”

“This song...it doesn’t really sound like something we would sing...is this not for Bangtan?” Jimin gestured to the computer screen that displayed all the freshly written lyrics. 

“Oh...well...I just wanted to experiment a little, you know?” Yoongi was glad to see Jimin nod his head as he bought his hyung’s excuse.

“Y/N-ah, do you mind passing me the cotton balls? They’re in the drawer to the left over there.” Sun-hee pointed to the dresser in your shared room. You were in bed comfortably rewatching your performances from your debut period, and so you groaned when your roommate asked for a simple favor,

“C’mon, Y/N-ah...pleeeeease? For your favorite unnie?” You could never deny Sun-hee’s puppy dog eyes, so you unwillingly got up from your comfortable position and grabbed the bag of fluffy cotton balls from the drawer. You hand the bag to Sun-hee who’s on the floor giving herself a pedicure,

“Thank you!” She giggled as you slumped back into your bed. She found it especially amusing when you continued to snuggle yourself deeper in the bed,

“What’s so funny, unnie?”

“Nothing. What do you think of Suga sunbaenim.” You stop rustling in bed. Your members loved talking about senior groups that they liked, but the sudden mention of Yoongi caught you off guard,

“W-what do you mean...”

“Mm, well I saw the way he was looking at you earlier during the meeting.” Luckily you were covered with the pile of blankets covering you so that she couldn’t see the flustered look on your face,

“He was...looking at me?”

“What? Don’t tell me you didn’t notice Y/N-ah. I saw him stealing small glances at you...hmmmm....maybe somebody has a little crush.” Sun-hee squealed as she got up to poke at you,

“Oh, shut up unnie. I’m pretty sure that you’re just over analyzing the situation.” You told yourself that, but you couldn’t help but hope that perhaps he was looking at you. 

“Whatever, Y/N-ah. I’m just saying...if an opportunity comes your way...” you took a pillow and threw it at Sun-hee who manages to catch it before it hits her in the face, “Yah!” She laughed as she began to commence in an intense pillow fight with you. You didn’t care if she whacked you in the face, as long as it got her mind away from the thought of Yoongi. It must’ve worked because Sun-hee didn’t mention one word about him for the rest of the night, but you, on the other hand, couldn’t get Yoongi out of your mind.

A/N: sorry that this part kinda just felt like filler...but it sorta was...but hopefully the next part will be exciting

Gif not mine, credits to the owner

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