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#and i was like 'what is the date of this book? this looks older than the used norton anthology of poetry i saw in a shop the other day'
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More than Friends [Park sunghoon x Female Reader]
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Word Count: 5,482.
Warnings: None
Themes: Fluff, Childhood best friends to lover
Now Playing:I Fell In Love With My Best Friend
Sunghoon has always been the quiet type. Maybe not that type where he's too shy to approach someone, rather, he's that type who is happy with the friends he found at the playground 12 years ago and not looking for anyone new. With the exception of two, all his friends have been with him since kindergarten. Though there's a visible age gap in the friend group, they somehow managed to become the most popular of high school students with their charm. Sunghoon is content with his friends and enjoys their company. The only annoying things in his life are the crazy fangirls (he never thought high school guys could have those) and mint chocolate chip ice cream.
Since he had seen the crazy fangirls drooling all over him, any interest in dating or pursuing someone vanished in an instant. Not like he had any before-but the thought had been there. Now even the thought makes him nervous. Dating someone who keeps his hair in her locker? Nah, he'd pass.
Truth be told, he's more interested in enjoying his high school life with his friends rather than spending it with some girl who would get jealous if he even looks at another girl. And he's speaking from experience. That was his first and last relationship, which only lasted for two weeks. And it hadn't ended there like he expected or wished. The girl had some crazy antics up her sleeves, which he only realized later when he found a tweet of hers about how he had used her and dumped her. Though all her tries failed, since it was known around school that Sunghoon is a sweetheart to everyone. He wouldn't do something horrible to a girl. Plus, everyone knew how much of a crazy fangirl Tessa was for Sunghoon, so nobody bothered to believe her.
Currently, he is trying to get through a series of math and physics homework their teacher assigned for them over the weekend.  He is over at his best friend Jake's house, eating ice cream and expressing his frustration through chewing the spoon. He heaves a sigh and groans," Jake, please let me copy your homework. I'll pay for the movie tickets next time, I promise." 
Jake looked up at him with a mouthful of ice cream and mumbled something. Sunghoon just rolled his eyes in annoyance. "And how many times have I told you to not talk with food in your mouth?'
Jake gulps down the ice cream and looks at his best friend with a sheepish smile." Sorry, old habits-And how many times have I told you that, no, I won't let you copy off me! You should do your own work and be independent. I'll not always be there to be your cheat sheet. And also, you never pay for the movie tickets. You always promise and forget your wallet at home. I end up paying for us."
Sunghoon sighed, knowing it was useless trying to argue with the boy. Usually, Jake lectures him and after Sunghoon pouts or teases him, he gives up. But when it comes to math and physics, he never lets him copy off and starts to teach and make him understand. Sunghoon is happy with that, since Jake can teach way better than their old Ms.Crane ever could, but he is not in the mood for learning today. Like, who wants to learn for an hour on a weekend? Unbelievable. So when Jake offered to teach him, he straight up turned down offer because even though he teaches well, he would drag the lesson just to talk more about physics. Sunghoon wouldn't like this amazing noon to go to waste with long physics lessons. So he just stuffed his mouth with ice cream and hoping he would arrive at school tomorrow in time to copy off Jay or Heeseung.
As he looked back at his book and tried to make sense of what a scientist from two centuries before said, the door creaked open and Jake's older sister, (Name), walked in.
Jake's sister was older than them by two years, if we are only counting these two. She is in her senior year at high school, only a few months away from graduation. She is undoubtedly the most popular person in their whole school, being both pretty and intelligent. The perfect student, a prefect, an athlete and every teacher's favourite (Though Jake teases her by calling her a 'Teachers' Pet'). Oh, did he mention the school heartthrob? Every freaking guy in the school, except Sunghoon and his friends, had a crush on her. Sunghoon had practically grown up with her, being Jake's best friend and all. She is almost like an older sister to all of Jake's friends. She is known as their Friend Group's Special Guest. She pops up time to time. At this point, she might as well as be considered as a part of their group.
(Name) sat down beside them and, much to Jake's dismay, attacked their huge bowl of ice cream. As she picked up a spoonful of ice cream, she asked,"Too much homework?"
Jake put his hands behind his head in frustration and nodded."Too much homework."
Sunghoon saw a perfect opportunity to annoy Jake and grinned. He whined,"Noona, Jake isn't letting me copy off him."
(Name) chuckled while Jake rolled his eyes and shot him an annoyed look. She playfully shook her head and said,"Jake, why aren't you letting Sunghoon copy off you? It's not like he always does this. One time won't hurt."
Jake scowled."Noona, you don't know, this guy copies off me whenever he comes over, and by that I mean every weekend. He doesn't want to "waste" his precious weekend solving math. And it's not like I never let him copy off me. I just don't let him copy math and physics. And I offered to teach him, but he said that I take too much time to teach someone, and he would rather do anything else than spend his weekend noon listening to me ramble about math and physics." Jake shot Sunghoon a scornful look.
(Name) burst out laughing and threw her head back. She looked at Sunghoon and raise an eyebrow. She teased him with an amused tone,"Is that so, Sunghoon?'
Sunghoon blushed slightly and nodded. He sassily replied,"Well, who wants tpo waster their weekend listening to an hour long math and physics lecture?"
(Name) chuckled and nodded."Hmmm, you do have a point there, Sunghoon. But I have an idea. How about  instead of Jake lecturing you for an hour, I help you with your homework?'
Sunghoon clapped in excitement and nodded, while Jake protested,"Wait, why him? Your my sister, you're supposed to help me with my homework, not his."
(Name) rolled her eyes and said,"Because I know you already can do your homework, you nerd. Plus, I came here to tell you that Mum told you to get groceries."
Jake's mouth widened."Why me? It's your turn!"
(Name) smirked."Oh, I told her that I have an assignment due and I'll do with you guys, so Mum told me to tell you to get groceries, since you're not busy. And I'm pretty sure I can keep Sunghoon company. Right, Sunghoon?"
She tilted her head and winked at him while Jake was sulking, and a smirk formed on Sunghoon's face. This was their secret gesture, which meant it's time to tease and taunt Jake. It wasn't officially said between them; but whenever they teased Jake, she would tilt her head and wink at him. Sunghoon would also reply with a smirk of his own.
Sunghoon kept the smrik and said,"Oh, it's totally okay. I'm sure I'll survive an hour or so without you. Plus, you could also take a small walk outside in the beautiful sunlight."
Jake groaned in frustration and stood up. He glared at them and whined,"It's not fair!'
The two burst out laughing. As Jake gave them an annoyed look and was leaving the room, (Name) called out,"At least you won't have to worry about homework for a while!"
A curse word was heard as the boy slammed the door and left the room. They both burst into laughter again. (Name) clutched her stomach and almost fell over with her chair. Sunghoon threw his head back and banged on the table with his hand. They had, again, succeeded in teasing Jake and making him curse. Making him curse was always a big accomplishment, since the boy was mostly against cursing.
They somehow pulled themselves together and caught their breathes. (Name) looked up at Sunghoon with a smile and asked,"Another success?'
Sunghoon smiled back at her and nodded."Another success."
She sat up straight and looked at empty bowl of ice cream. A groan escaped her lips."That bastard ate the ice cream while we were busy annoying him. Guess he got his revenge some way." With that, she looked at him and gave a pouty look. She said,"Sunghoon, would you please get more ice cream from the fridge, please?'
Sungoon smiled and shook his head."Nope. Not happening. Jake also made me get the ice cream."
(Name) gave him one of her best puppy eyes and whined,"Please, Sunghoon. Won't you do a small favour for your dear noona?"
Sunghoon laughed at her antics and protested some more. But he gave up after a few minutes and went downstairs to get some more ice cream. As he came back, she pulled the bowl out of his hands and grabbed a spoonful of ice cream. Sunghoon sat back down next to her, she offered him his ice cream and he gladly accepted it.
(Name) sat up straight in her chair and said,"So you were having problems with your math and physics homework, right?'
Sunghoon nodded, and she flashed him a smile."How about I help you with your homework? I promise I won't lecture you for an hour like Jake. How does that sound?'
He smiled and replied,"Offer accepted."
(Name) smiled and he showed her the homework. As she started explaining to him, he couldn't help a smile growing on his face. She had always been like this, helping him with his homework. She explained way better than anyone he knew. Sometimes he wondered how a person could be this perfect. She was perfect from everyway; starting from looks to intelligence to personality. He always felt comfortable around her. She always put people at ease. Though she wasn't really an extrovert, she just had a natural way of talking to people. She never made anyone feel uncomfortable in her presence, and everyone loved her. She would always help the friend group out with homeworks and assignments; and as a Junior year student, Sunghoon really appreciated that.
As the sunlight fell on her face while she explained to him, he couldn't help noticing her beauty. She had a unique beauty. Her features might not have been the uncommon, but somehow her beauty seemed ethereal. Currently, it seemed as if the sunlight was showering her with affection; and it just enhanced her beauty even more. Sunghoon's heart fluttered, and his heartbeat fastened. His mind went into a frenzy as he recognized this feeling. The feeling of falling in love might sound like an exaggeration, but he knew it as what it was. The same feeling he felt in middle school towards that one girl who rejected him on the school rooftop.
Sunghoon wondered about their friendship. He had known her since the day four year old him fell down on the playground, and a four year old Jake and a six year old (Name) came rushing to help him up. From then, they'd been inseperable. It didn't matter that she was older than both of them, his bond with them was stronger than he had with any of his other friends. She was the reason he never got more than a week's detention for skipping class. She always covered for all of them. Even after becoming a prefect, she never reported them for skipping classes. Favoritism? Maybe. But she was all about supporting harmless fun. That's one of the many reasons everyone at school loved her.
She and Jake were the ones who took care of his grandma while she was sick. She was the reason he passed his middle school finals while he was seriously sick and in bed. She and all his friends stayed up all night, watching over him in turns. She was the eldest and in high school, so she helped them study for the finals at daytime. She was the one who ran out at 2 A.M, all alone, to get emergency medicines for him while his condition got worse. She had always been there for him, along with all his friends. They were his life. He didn't know what he'd do without them. They are a part of him.
(Name) tapped his shoulder, and Sunghoon snapped out of his trance. She had been calling him for some time now. He scratched the back of his head and flashed her an embarrassed smile, gesturing for her to continue.
As time went on with her helping him with his homework, he found himself getting butterflies time to time. He tried to fight the feeling, but he just couldn't. Eventually, they finished the homework and as they kickbacked on Jake's bed to watch a movie, Jake came back and joined them. Sunghoon felt bad, thinking what Jake would say if he found out his best friend had started developing a crush on his sister. Not something positive, Sunghoon thought. But as the afternoon and evening went on with them watching the movie, he just couldn't help feeling guilty as his feelings didn't seem to go away at all. Rather, they seemed to grow. When he left their house, he turned to them and gave those two a hug, like he had always done before. But hugging (Name) made him flustered, which never happened before. Thankfully, neither Jake nor (Name) noticed his behavior, or he would be even more embarrassed.
The next two weeks at school, he tried to avoid (Name) as much as possible. But that proved to be hard, as she was almost always hanging out with them at lunch and recess. He even stopped going over at Jake's for the weekend, giving the excuse that he had chores to do at home. Jake was visibly bummed out, but it didn't seem like he suspected that Sunghoon was lying. But all his efforts went in vain, as he couldn't avoid her much. He would have to see her everyday at lunch. He couldn't stop hanging out with his friends, or they would've suspected that something was up. Still, he tried to talk to (Name) as ew times as possible. But he just couldn't help noticing everything about her. How she smiled, how she threw her head back while laughing, how her lips automatically formed a small pout when she was surprised, how her lips parted when she was zoning out. Every small thing. His feelings for her only continued to grow.
And his behavior didn't go unnoticed by his friends too, even though he tried his best to act normal around them. They had known him enough to know that something was up. Every sing le one of them asked what was wrong. Jake and Jay looked really worried for him. Ni-Ki Heeseung even cornered him one day at class.
Heeseung walked up to his desk and leaned against it. He crossed his arms as he looked at the younger. He asked,"What's wrong, Sunghoon? You've been acting really weird these days. Everyone's worried about you. Jake even told me that you didn't go over at his last two weekends, which is really unusual for you."
Sunghoon felt guilty. Of course everyone would be worried for him. But that thought had flown over his head. As he realized that he was making everyone worried for him, he felt really mad at himself. He had been a dumbass by not realizing it before.
He didn't want to worry them even further, so he assured Heeseung that he was okay. But the boy didn't look convinced. He kept shaking his head and asking what was wrong. At last, Sunghoon gave up. He sighed. "I'll tell you, okay? But please don't tell the others. At least, not for now."
Heeseung leaned in closer as Sunghoon started explaining. He looked away and said,"I...How do I say this....Okay...The thing is, I have a crush on (Name)."
Heeseung's eyes widened. (Name) was their childhood friend. She had been a part of their friend group since always. Even though she couldn't always be with them, since she was two grades above them, it didn't matter. She always hung out with them at weekends. And when they finally came to high school, their friend group was complete again. But he never imagined Sunghoon having a crush on (Name). He was under the impression that they were like siblings, but it seems like his thought was wrong.
Sunghoon didn't give him a chance to speak and continued to speak."And I've been trying to avoid her, that's why I don't talk as much as I did before when we are with her; which is almost always. I didn't go over at theirs just to avoid her. I don't want to let my feelings for her grow. She probably sees me as a younger brother, and how could I have a crush on her? I just can't face her."
Heeseung sighed. He stayed quiet for a while, before he started speaking."Sunghoon, you do realize that's not gonna work, right? You'll have to tell her sooner or later."
Sunghoon nodded grimly, and Heeseung said,"You need to tell her. Bottling up your emotions isn't gonna work. Even if she sees you as a brother, she won't be mad. I know her. She's not the type to be mad over something like that."
Sunghoon sighed and said,"But I'm scared. Just because she won't be mad, what is the chance she won't be upset? And even if she wants to be my friend even after that, who's to say our relationship will stay the same after that? It might just break apart."
Heeseung nodded. He agreed,"Yes, that might happen. There's no guarantee for that. But you won't know if you don't confess. And who knows, she migt even agree to go on a date with you.
Sunghoon mumbled,"Might."
Heeseung nodded."Might. Yes. But that's better than nothing."
Sunghoon sighed and looked at the older."Sorry, Hyung, I just can't. I hope you don't mind."
Heeseung sighed and nodded."I don't mind. But don't avoid her or us anymore, okay?'
Sunghoon smiled and nodded."Okay,"he said.
Heeseung smiled and patted the boy on the head before going back to his own seat.
Sunghoon gave his words a thought that night and decided not to confess. But he wouldn't avoid her anymore. So he went to Jake's house the next weekend, as he couldn't use the same excuse over and over. As he sat down with him, discussing what they could do (Thankfully there wasn't any homework that day), (Name) entered the room.
Sunghoon tried to keep his expression normal as she chose to sit down right next to him on the bed. She was looking even more beautiful in her eyes, if that was even possible. He thought of saying something to look normal, but (Name) broke the silence first.
"Jake, you left all the dishes at the sink. Mum's not very pleased."
Jake jumped."Oh my gosh, I totally forgot to do the dishes! Is she angry?"
(Name) shook her head and replied,"Not angry, but not very happy either. I suggest you go down and do the dishes right now before her mood gets worse."
Jake nodded and ran out of the room. She chuckled at his reaction and looked at Sunghoon.
Sunghoon was watching this exchange between the two siblings in complete silence with a smile on his face. As he noticed (Name) looking at him, he flashed her a grin. He asked,"Movie night again today? I'll stay over the night."
(Name) nodded, but their was something off with her expression. Sunghoon felt a bit worried when he saw her. But she started talking before he could speak."Yup. Movie night. Horror movie night. I was also planning on taking you both to McDonalds."
Sunghoon grinned, but his grin faded as he saw her expression. He furrowed his brows and asked in a worried tone,"Are you okay?"
(Name) nodded, and he couldn't help feeling even more worried. This type of unenthusisastic reply wasn't usual for her. He asked again,"You sure? You don't seem like your usual self today."
She sighed and rolled over on her stomach. She put her wrists on the bed and propelled her face up with her hands. She looked up at him with a slightly pouty expression and asked him something that completely caught him off guard.
"Are you mad at me, Sunghoon?'
Sunghoon's eyes widened, and he quickly put his hands up in protest."No! Not at all! Why would I be mad at you?"
(Name) sighed again, and the pout on her face just got bigger. She said,"Then why have you been ignoring me for the past two weeks? You don't talk to me like you used to do. It's almost as if you don't want to see me anymore. Did I do something wrong?"
Sunghoon wanted slap himself. He had completely forgotten about how she would feel when he was trying his best to avoid her and not catch more feelings. And she was thinking that she did something wrong and he was mad at her. He felt so angry at himself and felt guilty for making her feel that way. He sighed."Noona, I'm not mad at you. I'm just feeling a little off these days. You know, school and stuff."
(Name) pouted even more."But you talk to everyone else like usual. You didn't even come over the past two weekends. Sunghoon, can you tell me what's wrong?"
He sighed and said,"Noona, I'm sorry, but it's complicated. I'm not mad at you or ignoring you. I'm just in a kind of complicated situation, that's it.'
(Name) looked at him with her brows furrowed."Tell me what's bothering you then. I want to hear about this complicated situation of yours. I might be able to help."
Sunghoon shook his head. He was sure she would be mad at him after hearing what his complicated situation was. It might even not only ruin their friendship, but also his and Jake's. And she probably thinks of him as a younger brother. How could he confess to her?
She saw him shake his head, and her frown deepened. She asked,"Sunghoon, since when do we keep secrets from each other? I thought we were friends. I thought we always shared everything. I know all your secrets, and you know all of mine. You even told me when you tried smoking for the first time and regretted it. Do you not trust me anymore?"
That sad look on her face broke Sunghoon. This was it. He couldn't hide it from her anymore. It might be the end of everything, but he had to tell her. He thought of Heeseung's words, and decided to shoot his shot. It's now or never. He sighed and said,"Okay, Noona, I'll tell you.' It felt weird to call her Noona, which was a first. Even though he was feeling nervous and his mind was screaming at him to not tell her or lie, he continued."You'll probably get mad at me, and I'll understand if you do. But just please listen to me."
(Name) listened to him carefully as a small smile grew on her face, replacing the pout. Sunghoon took a deep breath and said,"N-Noona, I-I like you. Not in a platonic or siblings way, I like you more than that. I want us to be more than just friends. I tried to fight the feeling, but it just wouldn't go away. So I avoided you. I avoided you in every way I can; so that my feelings won't grow. But it didn't help. My feelings continued to grow. You were just too perfect. I'm sorry, and I know this might even ruin my friendship with you and Jake, but I just can't help it. I'm sorry."
Sunghoon was surprised at how organized his words were, since he always had problems expressing his feelings through words. (Name) must've noticed this too, since she looked a bit suprised. He closed his eyes shut and prepared himself for the blow that was about to come.
But that never came. As he opened his eyes, he found her looking up at him with a wide smile. That helped him calm down. It always did. She suddenly laughed softly, and he felt a pink blush creeping up his cheeks. She playfully shook her head and said,"That was it? I was expecting you found out about my obsezsion with knives and got scared."
Sunghoon's eyes widened. He exclaimed,"Obsession with knives?!"
(Name) smiled, embarrassed."My only secret that I never told you, considering you weren't a big fan of knife handling."
Sunghoon shook his head in disbelief, and she chuckled. Her face was a bit red now, and it made her look really cute. He hadn't seen her blush too many times, but it aways made him smile.
(Name) started fidgeting with her fingers in a nervous manner and said with a smile,"And aboutr what you just said...I'm not mad at you. Not at all. It's not gonna ruin our friendship. I feel like it's kind of adorable how you have a crush on me. And...I might also feel the same."
Sunghoon's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. He could feel his cheeks burning. He tried to say something, but it came out in stutters."Y-you a-also like m-me?"
(Name) nodded with a small blush. She laughed softly."I thought you saw me as an older sister, so I also didn't say anything. I was kinda internally beating myself up for feeling this way towards you."
Sunghoon also laughed."Really? I was also bashing myself internally."
She nodded with a smile."Mmmhm. Really."
Sunghoon couldn't help the smile on his face growing as he tried to speak, but she spoke before him. She flashed him a smile and said,"Ice cream date tomorrow evening?"
Sunghoon gave her a boyish grin and nodded."Ice cream date tomorrow evening."
(Name) smiled and leaned in close to him. As she saw his eyes widen and his face getting redder, but no signs of protest, she finally kissed him on the lips. Sunghoon kissed back, feeling really embarrassed and happy at the same time. She liked him back and they were going out!
As he wrapped his arms around her and she pulled him closer, the door burst open and a happy Jake entered."Guys, I've finished the dishes! Let's-"
He froze in his tracks as he saw the two of them."What the actual f-"
They had also frozen, but as soon as (Name) recovered from the initial shock, she threw a pillow at his way, not letting him finished his sentence. Sunghoon felt his cheeks grow even hotter, to the point they were burning. Jake yelled,"Ahh why would you throw the pillow at me?! And what are you guys doin-"
Another pillow hit his face, this time thrown by Sunghoon.
Sunghoon dived his face in (Name)'s neck in embarrassment from being caught by his best friend while kissing his older sister. She pulled him closer and yelled at her brother,"Can't you knock?"
Jake yelled back,"Why would I? Since when did we knocked while one of us wasn't alone in the room? And stop throwing these damn pillows at my face!"
They both burst out laughing and (Name) playfully rolled her eyes."I guess you have a point."
Jake pointed at Sunghoon and asked,"And what on earth are you guys doing?"
Sunghoon hid his face even more in her neck in embarrassment while she stroked his hair. She glared at her brother and said,"Don't you have eyes? And you're embarrassing Sunghoon. Look how red his face is."
Sunghoon whined in protest. Jake rolled his eyes and sat down next to them. He shook his head in disbelief."Since when this has been going on? How come I didn't know my best friend was in love with my sister?"
(Name) curled her lips and replied,"Since today, And it will go on."
Jake pulled Sunghoon from his hididng place and shook him with every word he said."Why. Didn't. You. Tell. Me. You. Bastard."
Sunghoon felt a little dizzy from all the shaking and pushed the boy away. He scratched his neck in embarrassment and said,"I thought you'd be mad...so...'
Jake shook his head in exasperation. He said," Mad? Oh boy, I'm mad at you. But not for falling for and kissing my sister. For not telling me you bastard! I am your best friend and you didn't tell me that you have a crush on my sister!"
They both burst out laughing as Jake stared at them in disbelief. He was still pretending to be mad, but as the corners of his mouth twitched, they saw a small smile was slowly forming on his face. He still said in a angry tone,"You'll pay for the movie tickets the whole year, Sunghoon. That's what you get for not telling me."
Sunghoon smiled and nodded. This was a way better price than he thought he would have to pay. He could deal with that. Plus, he was sure Jake would go back to paying after a month or two. So no worries.
Suddenly, another thought crossed Jake's mind. He grabbed a pillow and started hitting them with with it. He yelled,"And this is for throwing pillows at me!"
Sunghoon laughed as (Name) also grabbed a pillow and attacked her brother. As their fight went on, he also grabbed a pillow and joined them. All of them ended up with torn pillows after the fight, with cotton flying all over the room. Jake and (Name) looked at each other with wide eyes, and all three of them burst out laughing. As (Name) blew away a few cottons from Sunghoon's hair, he felt as if he had never been more happy and content. He knew from that moment, with his friends and possibly future girlfriend, he wouldn't have to worry about anything ever again.
And when they started dating from the next day, nobody was happier than Jake and Heeseung. Heeseung boosted around in the friend group that he already knew about Sunghoon's crush on (Name). Knowing that, Jake only got more pissed and demanded two whole years of movie ticket payment. Now Sunghoon knew that he would have to pay the for tickets at least for the next six months. He was seriously worried for himself now. It is the only problem he's currently dealing with now. And since Jake doesn't have to pay, he insists on taking Sunghoon and (Name) to watch a movie every weekend. Sunghoon had hoped that (Name) would tell her brother off, but she seemed to be enjoying the free movies every weekend. At least she insisted on paying for every date they went on, or he would've gone bankrupt by now. He can only hope now that he would still have enough money to buy his friends and girlfriend birthday and Christmas presents.
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He’s so. I’m so. I’m feeling something about this gay little man and I don’t know what it is
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ecoamerica · 25 days
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youtube
Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared
The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!
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britneyshakespeare · 1 year
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Norton Anthology of Doin Your Mom
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battymommastuff · 3 months
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The Fire-Eater
Batmom x Batman, Batmom x Batfamily
Prompt: While digging through the attic, Dick Grayson and Jason Todd uncover a secret about their adoptive mother. A secret that reveals the true, and dark story of the most loved couple in Gotham City
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!!DISCLAIMER!! - This likely won't be comic accurate (Obviously), but I did draw inspiration from the comics. If you are looking for something accurate, then this fanfic isn't for you.
*cough*
"Jesus Christ, you'd think they would dust up here once in a while." Jason rasps as he waves his hand in the air to clear the cloud of dust. Dick just rolled his eyes and lifted another box out of the way, causing another cloud of dust to poof into the air, "Where is this damn blanket anyway?" He asked, ripping open an old box to look for the blanket in question. Why? You, their adopted mother, is currently carrying their youngest sibling. The first, and only pregnancy of yours. Seeing that you aren't as young as you used to be, the pregnancy is a high risk. As per doctor's orders, you were to remain on bed rest now that you were close to your due date.
Before that, you'd been working on the nursery. Everything was perfect, but you were missing one thing. Bruce's baby blanket. A blanket you'd only ever seen in pictures, but knew that you wanted it for your future child. Unfortunately, that didn't seem to be possible. All of your children were far too old for the blanket when they were adopted. Now you had your baby on the way, and you wanted that blanket. To prevent you from climbing up there yourself, your two oldest sons decided to.
"Some of the boxes are older than me." Dick joked as he held up a box of old photo albums. The date on the box was ten years before he was born. He set the box down, and kept shifting through the boxes. They were looking for a box with Bruce's birth year on it. All of his baby items were stored there. He moved another box then frowned when he saw one tucked in a far corner. It was opened, and he saw a black outfit lined with red sequins, an outfit he swore he's seen before...a circus outfit. What caught his eye next was a rolled up poster, "Hey, Jason." He called out while picking up the poster. Dick unrolled it slowly, then felt his heart sink to his stomach.
A poster for Haly's Circus. The Circus he was apart of before his biological parents died. He still remembered that day as if it just happened. On the poster was a woman eating fire. Her outfit, a black leotard with red sequins lining it. (H/C) hair, and (S/C) skin. Unless Bruce had a certain type, there was no way it couldn't be you. How? How was this possible? He remembered meeting you that night. You were dressed as if you just walked out of business meeting, and you were with Bruce. The date on the poster dated years before you ever met Bruce.
Dick set the poster down right as Jason approached him, still grumbling about all of the dust. He picked up a small book next. Opening it, he found pictures. Old pictures of you, and other members of the circus. You and Haly...you and his parents. You knew his parents? One picture was of you, his dad, his mom, and him as a newborn. You knew who he was before you ever met him? How come he never knew this? Why did you leave the circus? How did you end up marrying Bruce Wayne of all people?
"Holy shit, Mom never told us this." Jason said while holding up the torches and an old bottle of alcohol. What they saw in the bottom of the box made both of their spines tingle. A mask...a Court of the Owls mask. Dick knew the story, and he knew his lineage. He knew his potential fate, had he never been adopted. Why did you have a mask? All of these questions in his head, and he knew the one person who could answer them.
He shoved all the items back into the box, and stormed out of the attic with it. Dick wanted answers, and he wanted them now. He carried the box through the manor with Jason on his heels, while holding back his tears. He felt lied to? Betrayed? He didn't know, but he needed to know. He felt like you were an entirely new person now. Dick opened the door to your bedroom. You were watching as Stephanie painted your toenails, and Damian was lecturing you on your health.
"Oh! Did you-..." You cut off when you saw the box he was carrying. It'd been years, and you forgot about that box. Honestly, you thought you threw it out, "Dick..." Your oldest son walked over and slammed the box on the bed, causing your two other sons and Stephanie to glare at him.
"Start talking, Mom...right now."
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vivwritesfics · 5 months
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10 Things I Hate About You
Sirius Black x Evans!Reader
Lily Evans isn't allowed to date. Not until her big sister does. At least, James Potter thinks so. What better way to rectify this than to get Sirius to date her. That shouldn't be hard, right?
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Lily Evans was not allowed to date. At least that was what James believed. He believed the reason she wouldn't date him was because of her sister.
Her crazy twin sister who was a loner freak. She was pretty, sure. Just as pretty as Lily. But she was abrupt, aggressive and, quite frankly, scared most people off. She was unashamed in voicing her opinions, not giving a crap on what anybody thought.
Lily Evans wasn't allowed to date because Y/N Evans wasn't dating. It wasn't a jealousy thing, it was a protective older sister thing.
"You don't need to waste you time on the guys at this school, Lils. You should just be focusing on your studies and getting the best grades you can," she said as she sat, stretched out on the couch in the Gryffindor common room, book open in her lap.
Lily let out a huff and returned to her homework. She knew there was no point arguing with her sister. And, it wasn't even like she wanted to date anybody, it just would have been nice to have the option. Especially when James Potter ramped up the flirting.
James Potter. He stared at her across any room they were both in. Pranks had gone wrong because he was too busy staring at Lily.
He'd asked her out several times. But her answer was always the same. She always turned him down and blamed Y/N.
So, James had to come up with a solution. He liked Evans, so damn much, he just had to get her sister out of the way.
Moony would never go for it. He was already sort of friends with Y/N. Academic rivals who had found friendship. They compared homework, attempting to correct each other. Which worked out great for James, Sirius and Peter.
Peter. Y/N would never go for him. Especially not after she'd caught him peaking into the girls hanging room after quidditch practice.
That left James with one last friend: Sirius. And might have well as been perfect for the job.
Sirius accepted. If it finally got James with Evans, he'd do it. Plus, Y/N was a challenge. If he managed to date her, he'd hate dated the biggest bitch in Hogwarts.
Of course, Sirius had the impossible task of getting her to agree to go on a date with him first.
On Sirius' first attempt, he waited leaned against the wall beside the doorway into charms. It wasn't a class they shared, and Sirius only knew where she was because he'd asked Lily.
So, he'd skipped his own class and waited outside of hers.
The girls in Y/Ns year giggled and batted their eyelashes at Sirius as the walked past. He flashed that ever charming smile, but that was the only attention he was going to give them. They weren't the one he was looking for.
"Hey," Sirius said as Y/N walked past.
She spared him a single glance and kept walked, not answering him.
It was a good thing thing Sirius was a persistent person. He followed Y/N away from her classroom, towards Muggle studies. "You got muggle studies?" He asked.
Y/N snorted. "What do you think?" She mumbled. "Haven't you got any classes whatsoever?"
"I might," he replied, leaning against the wall.
Y/N finally turned to look at him. She wouldn't admit it, but she noticed it, noticed his rolled up sleeves, his loose tie, the way he wasn't wearing his robes.
Sirius Black was undeniably attractive, sure, but Y/N wasn't looking to date. And good facial features weren't the only thing that mattered to her. So far, Sirius was all aesthetically pleasing facial features.
"I might want to stay here and walk to you."
Y/N scoffed and walked into Muggle Studies, leaving Sirius where he was.
***
"I'm telling you, James, she doesn't want me. She wants nothing to do with me," Sirius said as they lounged around in the common room.
James shook his head. "Come one, Padfoot. Every girl wants you, so why doesn't she?"
Before this whole ordeal, Sirius had wanted Y/N, but it was in the same way he wanted every girl. It meant nothing and the feeling would pass as soon as something had happened between them. But the more she rejected him, the more he wanted her.
So, with the help of Remus, the boys devised a plan. They were going to throw a party in the common room. And if Y/N and Lily came, and Lily saw Y/N with Sirius, maybe James might have a chance.
They spent the afternoon preparing everything, getting records together and sneaking alcohol into the grounds. Using the tunnel that led to the shrieking shack, Sirius and Remus managed to get to Hogsmeade. From there it was easy enough to by something to drink and get it back to the castle.
By the time the Gryffindors got back from dinner, the boys had the party in full swing. All that was missing was people.
It didn't take much to convince people to join their party. First, second, third and fourth years were ushered up to bed, since the marauders didn't want to be responsible for a bunch of drunk Fourteen year olds.
It was Peters job to make sure they stayed upstairs while everybody else partied. Sirius' job was handing out the drinks and Remus' job was to keep things rolling while James flirted with Lily.
Y/N was one of the last to make it back from dinner. Her sister had gotten to the common room first, and was already sat on the couch beside Marlene McKinnon, drink in hand.
Once Y/N walked into the common room, she scoffed and went to make her way up to her bedroom.
But Sirius caught her, getting in her way and handing her a drink. "Stay for a while," he said over the music and the chatter. "Have some fun with your housemates."
"I'm busy," said Y/N as she stared at him.
Sirius insisted, pushing the drink into her hand. "One drink, that's all I ask," he said. "Just one drink."
Reluctantly, Y/N took it. But one drink turned onto two, and two drinks turned into three. Soon Y/N was dancing on the table to the Queen records Sirius had put on.
Other students gathered around, laughing and watching as she danced. But Sirius could see it, see her slipping and falling from the table. So, he strode over, pushing his way passed the other Gryffindors, who let him pass without protest, and grabbed a hold of Y/Ns hands.
"Let's get you some air," he called over the noise.
"But I'm having fun!" Y/N shouted back, throwing her head back as she swayed from side to side. "Isn't this what you wanted?"
Sirius practically pulled her from the table. He wrapped his arms around her, leading her out of the common room.
Sneaking through the halls of the castle was hard enough on a full moon. But, with a drunk Y/N Evans clutching onto his arm, it was damn near impossible.
Sirius hid her in an alcove with him, holding his fingers to her lips as Slughorn came past. Y/N let out a giggle and licked Sirius's finger, but he quickly placed his hand over her mouth.
Once Slughorn was gone, it was easy enough to get Y/N outside. Sirius walked her down to the Black Lake, sitting her down against a tree. "How are you feeling?" He asked, sitting down beside her.
Y/N let her head fall against his shoulder. "My head feels fuzzy," she complained, shutting her eyes.
"That's because you've had too much to drink." Sirius pulled a carton of cigarettes from his pocket and pulled one out. He put one between his lips and lit it.
As soon as Sirius took the first puff, Y/N reached for the cancer stick. He gently batted her hand away, wrapped his arms around his shoulders. "You'll throw up if you smoke this," he said and Y/N just nodded his head.
***
She didn't want to talk about it.
Some Gryffindors laughed as they passed her in the hall, but Y/N's harsh glare was enough to shut them up.
She hid herself away in the library, in the darkest corner as she read through books. For one she wasn't studying, reading for the pleasure of it.
When somebody walked towards her, Y/N turned away.
When Sirius Black walked towards her, Y/N scoffed and shoved her nose deeper into her book. If there was one person she didn't want to talk to, it was the person that got her drunk.
He sat opposite her, drumming his black nails against the desk. "How you feeling today?" He asked, using his finger to lower Y/N's book.
She glared and lifted it back up. "Go away, Sirius."
"I'll go away," Sirius replied, "If you go to Hogsmeade with me."
Again, Y/N scoffed. But this time she stood up and walked away from him. She checked her book out of the library and strode out, all while Sirius watched her go.
Goddamn he wanted her.
He needed Remus's help.
Sirius met his friend in the Gryffindor common room. "We need to do something," he said as he paced in front of the fire place.
Remus was sat back, looking cool, calm and collected. Of course he was, he had virtually no part in this whole Lily and Y/N plan. "Do you think it's really fair that you're chasing her just so that James can date her sister?"
Stopping his pacing, Sirius stared at his friend. He wanted Y/N Evans and he wanted her bad.
Remus let out a sigh. "Have you ever noticed that she's always reading these romance novels?"
"So?"
"You'll need to do some sort of gesture, something big and romantic," Remus replied, running his hands through his hair.
Some big, romantic gesture, huh? Sirius could do that.
***
Y/N had never received a howler before. Never, not in her entire life. With her parents being Muggles, they didn't know how to send them. So, when the owl dropped the red envelope into Y/N's lap, her sister stared at her. "Who on earth sent you that?" Asked Lily as Y/N picked it up.
She shrugged her shoulders and unsealed it. Immediately, the red envelope and letter inside became a mouth. A mouth that started singing. "Oh my god," Y/N mumbled, hiding her face from everybody else in the great hall, eating their breakfasts. She'd never been this embarrassed in her life, not even when she'd gotten incredibly drunk last week.
The Howler sang Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen as Sirius came and sat opposite her, smirking with his ring covered hands clasped together. "This is from you, isn't it?" Y/N asked over the singing.
Instead of answering, Sirius climbed up onto the table. He sang along with the howler, kicking dishes of food away from the table. And, when the song was over, he held out his hands towards her. "Y/N Evans, will you go out with me?"
The embarrassment had turned into laughter. As embarrassing as it was, Y/N loved it. It was amazing. It was the most Sirius Black thing in the world.
But Y/N didn't get to answer him, not when Professor McGonagall came striding towards him and pulled him from the table. He waved at Y/N as he was dragged away to detention.
"What on earth," Lily muttered, shaking her head as Y/N stood up from the table.
"I don't know, Lils," Y/N said and ran office.
She knew exactly where to find Sirius. McGonagall had him in her office, writing line while she watched over him.
Y/N knocked on the door and waited for McGonagall to let her in. When she shouted, Y/N strode into the office. "Hey, Professor. As a Muggleborn student, I have some questions," she said and walked over to the window, pulling McGonagall's attention away from Sirius.
It took Sirius a moment to catch on. So, Y/N kept talking, kept holding McGonagall questions. "So, do how do Muggleborn students come to be?" She asked.
Sirius's eyes went wide. He stood carefully pushing his chair back while McGonagall was turned around.
But she went to turn back. "Like, do I have a magical family member from a few generations ago?" She asked as Sirius tiptoed towards the door. "And, how come Lily and I are both magic but our sister isn't?"
"I'm sorry, Miss Evans," McGonagall said, keeping her eyes on her as Sirius made it out of the door. Y/N got herself ready to run. "But I don't have time for this right now. Can't you see I'm busy?"
"You're right, Professor. I'm sorry," Y/N said and swiftly walked out of the office.
She got away quickly, before McGonagall could call her back and ask about Sirius's whereabouts. Y/N wasn't sure, anyway. Sirius was long gone by the time she got out of the office.
Suddenly, Sirius appeared out of nowhere. He strode forward and tapped Y/N on the shoulder. She turned quickly, ready to tackle her attacker, but when she saw Sirius, she relaxed. She went to say something, but he beat her to it. "Meet me on the astronomy tower later," he said and walked off again.
***
James walked towards Lily and placed his arms around her shoulders. "Word on the street is your sister is seeing Sirius," he said as they walked.
Lily didn't remove his arm, but she didn't give him the time of day, either. She just kept walking, as though James wasn't there. "So, now that your sister is dating, how about I take you on a date?"
"A date, James, really?" Lily asked, finally pushing his hand away.
James nodded his head. "If Y/N is dating, why can't you?"
Letting out a huff, Lily turned to face him. "Okay, if I go on one date with you, will you finally leave me alone?" She asked and James nodded.
One date. All he needed was one date.
***
Y/N made her way up to the astronomy tower. She was dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a knitted sweater, keeping herself warm as she walked through the castle.
Sirius was already up the astronomy tower, a picnic set up in front of him. He had the blanket, the basket, a candle surrounded by food. It was simple food, sandwiches and snacks.
"Wow," Y/N whispered as she walked over to him.
Sirius grinned and spread his arms. "Surprise," he said and sat on one side of the blanket, gesturing for Y/N to sit opposite him.
She took her seat and Sirius passed her a biscuit. "So, what is the deal with James and my sister?" She asked as she leaned back, looking across the castle grounds.
Sirius shook his head. "He really likes her," he said and ran his fingers through his hair.
Y/N let out a snort. "I think the whole school knows that."
"No, I think the whole school knows that I like you," Sirius muttered with a smirk.
They spoke the whole evening long. Even once the food had been eaten and they were comfortably full, Y/N and Sirius stayed where they were, talking about their lives. Y/N learned about his home life and just how shitty it was. She told him about being Muggleborn and how spiteful her sister was.
They were sat beside each other, Y/N leaning against him as he watched the stars. "So, why don't you date?" Sirius asked her. "You're gorgeous, I know so many guys that would be so happy to be in my position right now, so why am I the lucky guy?"
Y/N shrugged her shoulders. "I've just always wanted to be more focused on my studies," she said.
Suddenly Sirius placed his finger under chin and tipped her towards him. He kissed her, slowly gently, eyes closed as his lips moved against hers. He tasted of smoke and mint, the taste intoxicating. Y/N couldn't get enough.
She ran his fingers through his hair, scratching at his scalp. Sirius let out a whine and pulled away, resting his forehead against hers. He couldn't stop the smile crossing his face as they just sat there.
There were footsteps, making their way up towards them. Y/N and Sirius pulled away to look at who was approaching.
"Lily," Y/N said as she stood, moving away from Sirius. "What're you doing up here?"
And then James appeared behind her. He grinned when he saw the two of them, both of them breathless. "Thanks, mate," he said as he and Lily came up the stairs.
Y/N stared at Sirius. "What does he mean?" She asked, picking up her things. "Sirius, what does he mean by that?"
"Y/N, listen, you've got to understand-"
But that was enough for her. Y/N turned on her heel and walked away from him, running down the steps and back to the common room.
Sirius spent the next few weeks trying to speak to her. He waited outside of her classrooms and tried to corner her in the common room, but Y/N marched away from him, a furious look on her face.
She was furious. Furious that Sirius had just asked her out for James' benefit, furious that she had fallen for him.
She was hurt, incredibly hurt.
She hated the way she felt around, the way he made her heart flutter. She hated the way his gaze heated her cheeks, hated the way her hand felt in his. She hated the way he smelt like cigarettes, hated the way he tasted of smoke and mint, and hated the way she loved it. She hated that he'd taken her on her first ever date and hated the way she loved it. But, most of all, she hated the way she didn't hate him.
Y/N sat in the common room, reading her book. She was constantly looking around, making sure Sirius didn't appear in front of her.
Suddenly, a couple of books appeared on the table in front of her. They were held together by a piece of twine, held together in a neat bow. Beneath the bow was a small note, her name written on it. Y/N grabbed a hold of it and turned it around.
'Forgive me? - S'
Y/N looked across the common room, meeting his gave. She gave him a quick nod and went back to her book, a grin splitting across her face.
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anadiasmount · 1 month
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we’re pretending? - jude bellingham x reader.
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quick sum: no date to an upcoming wedding, you use your best friend as last resort. what happens when your best friend isn’t playing pretend anymore and you’re left conflicted with these unusual feelings…
wc: 4.6 k | masterlist | jude’s masterlist
psa 🗣️: i used my og ‘glory box’ fic to get some inspo while writing this fic ngl!! 😣 this was so fun to write not only by the trope but the DRAMAAAA!! like always, hope you enjoy! 🤍
“yes mom, i know. i picked my dress up yesterday, and my flight is booked as well,” you sighed and rolled your eyes knowing she wouldn’t be able to see you through the phone. she knew how important this wedding was but she kept putting the pressure on you. it was the last thing you needed especially after you told her you’d bring someone along.
that someone was now you’re ex-boyfriend. you had less than 48 hours to come up with an excuse or show up alone.
"are you still bringing your plus one?" she asked, the line going silent for a few seconds before she spoke up again. "y/n? are you there?" you should've just lied or said the truth, all you could think of was how happy and super excited she was when you told her you'd met someone and began dating.
"yes mom... we both will be there," you closed your eyes, disappointment in yourself filling the void in your head. you could hear her squeal in the background, telling a voice there with her about the good news. you chewed on your lip anxiously, wanting to cut the call or else you'd break down.
"listen mom, i have t-to go okay? ill call you tomorrow. try not to stress so much," you smiled weakly hearing an "i love you", ending the call after gifting your goodbye. there was no avoiding the mistake you had committed. you wanted to slap some common sense into yourself, because where the hell were you about to find someone?
you clearly remembered the day telling your mom you'd met someone at uni. she was over the moon and wanted to tell everyone but you dismissed the idea, not wanting to rush since you had recently met. you would call her and tell her about him, and she listened so attentively, just like in the movies.
you couldn't bring yourself to tell her when you and max had broken up. your whole life has always been surrounded by being told you needed to be more like your older sister, the pressure of being a golden child laid on you. for once you had something, but that had to get ruined as well.
the scolding, the perfect grades, friends, hell even family. you had to be so careful and live up to their expectations. you loved them, you did, but at times you just felt like moving away was the best idea. and you did just that, the first to move out to a new country, breaking records at uni, and even finding a suitable job.
your boss loved you, and coworkers admired you for the passion and dedication you carried. so why did it have to go all wrong with max? you had an image of him in your head that he was madly in love with you, though you'd later be proven wrong when you found out he was sleeping with his boss. finding them in the act on your 6th month anniversary.
you still can recall the feeling of being unable to breathe, their screams and his pleading going quiet as you could just stare into the room, not once being able to see his eyes. disgust, and rage, but mostly sadness, a heavy heart, and the lump in your throat. he hurt you terribly and you would forever resent that.
after the call, you sat quietly on the couch, hands in your hair as you thought about everything. looking around seeing your bags packed, the blue dress hanging by your room, pictures everywhere. you hated to admit but you were living in a hell, life messy and a disaster. your buzz ringed, seeing through the tiny camera your best friend jude in the frame.
you allowed him in, walking over to the large mirror and wiping away the dry tears, making yourself look more presentable. you looked worn out, eyes droopy and low, lips slightly chapped, and to make matters worse a zit on your chin. you exhaled a breath, keys jiggling as jude came in.
he set his training bag down, took his shoes off, and walked to you, giving you a small hug. "you look terrible," you gave him a warning look, "but lucky you, i brought us food," he spoke cheerfully, the mood inside you going from gloomy to content. "it's raining like crazy, i almost fell coming up. also i brought some packages and your mail," jude continued.
"thank you, i haven't had the time to go down and pick them up! i've been so busy packing and planning last-minute stuff," you groaned, going to the kitchen and washing your hands. "watch, in the next few minutes i'm going to get a call," you theorized. jude pulled out the food and served it into your plates as you grabbed a water for him and a soda for yourself.
"how was training?"
jude shrugged unimpressed, "same old. didn't really have to go in, but they needed me for a small campaign shoot, so i had no choice. also cama and tchou send their hello's."
you and jude spoke amongst yourself. just about each other's days and catching up from the last time you guys were together. you teased him about losing a bet with his little brother, jude whining about how he cheated. new music that came out, and a pop up store that opened lower in downtown.
"so what's got your head in a twist?" jude sipped on his last few ounces of water, leaning his head on his propped-up arm and hand. you awkwardly scratch the back of your neck, pick up the dirty dishes, and walk to the sink. "okay don't make fun of me-"
"you're basically asking me too... also no promises since you just made fun of me for losing against jobe," jude chuckled.
"jude."
"oh it's serious then... what did you do?" he saw the serious look on your face, a small worry constructing in his chest because he rarely saw you like this. you close your eyes, feeling the anxiety build in you once again, "i told my mom i was still bringing max..."
jude scoffed in denial, or trying to cope with the confusion, "y/n, you what?"
"i know! i know! i should've just confessed and coughed up the truth but i- i couldn't! she was so excited jude! i feel terrible for lying believe me i do, but after telling her about him and filling her with hope to break her heart, i just c-c-couldn't," you ramble, dishes clattering as you freaked out.
in your head it didn't seem as bad, but fully saying it out loud to jude, seemed even worse. jude grimaced, knowing you had messed up bad especially since the wedding was right around the corner. "i'm just embarrassed... i know they will start something and just talk down on me if i showed up alone."
jude knew how heavy-handed your family could be, often wanting to resent them because he cared for you so much. he saw how physically and mentally they could rain you even with the smallest sentence. they seemed so worried with their lives instead of the ones they should most value and care for.
jude gave you a concerned face, "what?" chuckling nervously when you gasped out, almost being able to see the lit-up light bulb on top of your head. "jude, I'm a genius!"
"well i beg to differ-"
"shut up," you pat your finger against your chin, a mischievous smile on your lip taunting jude's concern even more. "i don't know why i didn't think of this sooner! why don't you pretend to be my boyfriend? just for the wedding that's it!"
jude shook his head, hands coming up to back out of the idea. it was one thing you lying, but now asking you to play pretend was something totally different. "that's not a good idea y/n..." jude clenched his teeth forcing a smile. "oh cmon why not?"
"well, first of all, that's an even bigger lie to your mom. second, pretending would seem impossible. third, i don't want the first time meeting your parents to be a lie because of what happened," jude defended and stated his case.
"it's a huge favor but you'd save my life jude! one weekend and that's it! you have plenty of suits, you're also off this weekend, and they would never suspect a thing! please jude! i wouldn't be asking if i wasn't so desperate," you begged, seeing the hesitation in his eyes.
"it seems like a bad idea... you don't know what you're asking for y/n... were pretending to be a couple when were not! we have to make it believable even under the pressure of the wedding. a theatrical play, a stunt!" jude exclaimed standing up from his chair.
"jude please, please, please! it might feel weird but it's for the night only! after that, we go back to the good old y/n and jude," you followed him as he paced in your living room thinking of his answer. would it be back to normal even if he continued to feel the same for you? the unknown loving feeling he had for you?
the pretending would be hard when all he could hardly think of was you. how he felt recently and how nervous he got around you. he would do anything for you in a heartbeat, but this would break jude further than now. he couldn't fake pretend holding your hand, or kissing your cheek when he meant and wanted to do that with you currently.
as bad as the idea was, here he was hugging you as you cheerfully yelped when he agreed. time moved slowly for him, the sensation of regret and curiosity as what was yet to come from both of you. all he cared for was to make sure you were happy, and if faking being your boyfriend would help you, he was willing to do it, no matter the consequences.
as jude was fixing his hair, you finished setting your makeup with some powder and setting spray. nerves bubbling in you after the first test you encountered last night after your arrival. you let out a laugh at the tiny bed you had to share with jude. seeing his uneasy face even after he offered to sleep on the couch.
"we're running on schedule," you spoke, finishing clasping your jewelry around your hands and rings. jude came behind you, his shirt unbuttoned and abs in full view, as he finished zipping his pants. best friend or not, there was no denying how incredibly sexy jude was. the name should speak for itself, but with the looks and personality he had, it was too good to be true.
"need some help?" he asked seeing you nod slowly and looking down at your feet. he took the necklace, your skin on fire as his fingertips grazed your skin accidentally, almost jumping on the spot, goosebumps grazing your body. he clasped the necklace, grabbing the pendent and fixing it so it laid in the middle. "perfect," he cockliy smirked.
"thank you."
"are you almost ready?" he looked at you as he buttoned up his shirt, you almost stuttered but regained consciousness, "yes, just need to put my dress and shoes on," you turned back quickly furrowing your brows, wanting to slap yourself for allowing yourself to get carried away, or maybe at the uneasy desire in you when seeing jude.
you went to the bathroom, grabbing the lacy undergarments and the blue dress. the color was to die for, the perfect length even with your heels on, the opened back with the front just showing the perfect amount of cleavage, and the whole dress just accentuating your body even more.
you felt the need to throw some water in your face though you couldn't or else it would ruin your makeup. you settled with fanning yourself with your hand, the tense in your chest getting to you as it was becoming real now. you were just pretending with jude. nothing more right?
you looked in the huge light-up mirror, and suddenly the confidence you had dripped away as you thought of jude in the next room over. why did all of a sudden everything feel like it wasn't before? as in, things changed drastically since the night at your apartment? you've never felt this clumsy or as edgy around him.
when you woke up this morning, with jude on top of you laying peacefully, you couldn't help but feel overjoyed, as if it was a natural state and you've done it before. in your own world where the only thing that mattered was him and you. since then you were slightly freaked out, butterflies in your chest when he left or walk into the room.
jude double taked a look as you walked into the room again. the tiny room that felt like a joke to him after walking in hand to hand last night. his eyes roamed you, lips slightly separated as he admired your beauty, heart hammering in his chest. he watched as you grabbed your cheeks, immediately offering to help.
he leaned down, gently grabbing your foot and placing the white jeweled heel on you. your hands were clamped around the small bench cushions, jude looking up then and there to make sure they felt comfortable. once again, his touch felt like fire, playing with your head even more.
when he finished clasping the heel, he extended his hand helping you up. "you look absolutely gorgeous y/n... this dress was made for you," jude croaked, hearing you laugh shakily. "thank you jude. likewise," jude smiled at your reaction, "i mean as in you look super handsome with the suit, not a dress!" you explained.
"i think i got what you meant..." he joked, his eyes roaming uo and down again at you. "good. good. shall we head out?" you swallowed heavily, grabbing your purse, phone, and other stuff you needed for the night. you were in a rush, wanting to get some fresh air or you would explode in the room with jude inside. "lead the way y/n."
jude helped you in an out of the cab, his hand on your bare back as he guided you to the double doors leading into the reception. "how are you feeling? any nerves?" you spoke quietly to him, looking around as people were taking their seats or had their own conversations.
"some but not too many. like you said, it's just for today," he whispered along your ear, gently giving your shoulder a kiss as his hands went to your hips and walked you forward. your mom and aunt gasped, grabbing their dresses and walking towards you, almost sprinting. "here goes nothing," you say.
"oh my god! so you are real!" your mom yelped, making you give her a glare and eyes pleading not to make a scene. "i was starting to think my sweet y/n was lying to me about this boyfriend she had," you almost choked on your saliva, clearing your throat at her words. "i am y/n's mom, what is your name?"
"i'm jude. it's a pleasure to finally meet you ma'am," jude shook her hand and leaned down to kiss her cheeks in a greeting manner, the same with your aunt. jude's hand interlocked with yours, the happiness in your mother's eyes never leaving, almost tearing up at the sight of you with your "boyfriend."
"i can't believe it! it's a miracle, my daughter finally has her first boyfriend," she clapped her hands making you wretched at her choice of wording. you did everything to have her at least praise you once in life, and all it took was to have a boyfriend? you brushed away the glum feeling, jude kissing your hand, distracting you from the small burn in your eyes.
"oh my! look at them! they make such a beautiful pair," your aunt gleamed. "we do, don't we?" jude teased them, "took her a while to say yes to me, but i'm very fortunate to be here," jude resumed. "we're very pleased to have you here, anything you need don't hesitate to ask."
after saying hello to other family friends and cousins, you sat for the ceremony. jude wiped a small tear away after your old school friend finished her vows, slapping his shoulder when he made a small joke about your mascara running. "its not funny! the vows were so beautiful," you said.
"it's like we are watching me before you again," he said making you gasp. "jude what are talking about? you literally cried with me?" you recalled laughing, jude looking around scared if someone was hearing you. "please don't remind me... in my defense, i didn't see that ending at all."
after the ceremony, you and jude greeted other families, and most importantly congratulated the bride and groom. their faces ushered with happiness, overall content with how their day was turning out. you had to excuse yourself from jude at one point, your mom dragging you away for your help. jude was left behind with your dad.
"since she was little, she always hated getting thrown or dragged around," your father spoke, taking a sip of his whiskey. "seems like nothing had changed?" jude asked carefully with a playful smile. "oh not even close! it's my wife doing," he winked.
"jude right?"
"yes sir," jude nodded, presenting the dad talk coming up. "I'm gonna save the unnecessary talk and get straight to the point. it's so weird to see my baby girl all grown up, with the lusting and loving eyes she gives you. you love her very much and i can see that which is why i'm not worried about you hurting or losing her trust."
hell if jude didn't feel guilty before, he did now. he gripped the glass harder, nodding to your dad who looked upset. "she may have told you some stuff about us, but at the end of the day, she's my daughter and i love her the way she is... please just take good care of her for me... she been through enough as it is..."
"i only have good intentions and i promise you i won't ever break her heart," jude promised to your dad, but also himself. he would never be able to forgive himself if he ever did break your heart or make you lose the trust you had. max did it once and jude would never do it. even if it meant keeping away these long feelings for you.
when you returned you saw them laughing and chatting away, your heart full of emotions at them getting along. jude was so mature for his age, and it didn't come to a surprise when he got along with your dad so fast. his hand would naturally lay on your back or on your hip.
the next few hours were filled with more people dancing or chatting away. jude insisting you sat on his lap for a picture when the photographer passed, smiling wide, looking like a happy couple. it seemed so natural to you, being this close and intimate you were getting scared at how fast everything was being thrown at you.
"i had to see it for myself! y/n bagging a footballer? never saw that coming," your cousin approached you giving you a high as he dabbed up jude. "jude meet my cousin adrian, he's a huge fan of you, and just successfully signed with a small club," you introduced them to each other, with a huge grin on your face.
jude’s hand snuck around your waist, his thumb drawing shapes as his full attention was with your cousin who spoke about sports. you listened then and there, but your feet began to ache, switching your weight back and forth uncomfortably.
jude was quick to notice, leaving down to your level and asking if you were okay. “i’m fine i promise, these shoes are killing me that’s all,” you reassured with a smile, jude nodding before cutting the conversation after a few minutes. “i’m going to get her a chair and drinks for us,” you froze when he kissed your temple, “i’ll see you around later,” jude said his goodbyes dragging you along slowly.
like before, your chest beat faster, if he stared, smiled, even touched or got near you, you’d get nervous immediately. the familiar string of falling for someone filling the empty space left behind inside you. he was super good at pretending and it didn’t feel like that anymore.
it felt real. was he just pretending? or was he actually taking this fake relationship seriously and real?
all you could do was stare at his face, mostly his gorgeous brown eyes as he helped you get seated and served you some water, making sure you were fully okay. he sat next to you, his hand interlocking with his, and placing it on his lap as he paid attention to his surroundings. you become quiet, so into your head and questioning his every move now.
“jude?” you spoke softly, a confused smile on your face as he immediately turned to you with a soften gaze. you inhaled a breath, unable to look away from him, his ínstese state causing you to feel intimidated. “is everything okay?” he asked, leaning slightly over to you, pushing a small string of hair back. “is it supposed to feel like this?”
“what is?” jude shook his head not understanding.
“us? why am i getting the idea we’re no longer pretending…”
jude tore his gaze from yours, the panic growing more intense when he wouldn't reply back. "jude please... don't push me away. are we just pretending or has something changed?" you persisted, your hand gliding against his back to get his attention. jude debated, afraid of losing you right here and now, or having the possibility to maybe hear you feel the same way.
"come with me," jude demanded, helping your and dragging you to the dance floor where no one could really see you besides the other happy couples. his hands circled your waist, as yours went to his shoulders, unable to look away from him. "tell me i'm not the only one who feels it..."
"tell me what you feel y/n... what your head is begging to scream out..."
"i can't, i don't know jude. i'm afraid yet so confused? since we got here yesterday things feel different between us. it happened again when we had breakfast, when you put my necklace on, my heels! all of this is giving me mixed signals jude... i haven't felt this in so long.." you confess, a shaky breath escaping your lips when he pulls you closer and kisses your head.
"like now. i can't if you just did that out of pretending or because it came naturally to you. i've never had to worry about what you think till recently... it feels strange... yet ican't help but get hope that it means real," you rest your forehead on his shoulder blinking away the tears that slowly begin to let out.
jude could see how this was affecting you, holding your lower body with one hand and the other smoothing down your spine, feeling how you immediately let loose and relaxed by his praise and touch. jude could also feel the heavy weight beginning to feel heavier if he kept his true hidden feelings away. it was a sign, and there was no going back.
jude's hand cradled your chin, forcing you to look up at his, his brown eyes gazing over your teary face. he was truly amazed and so in love with you it made his head feel cloudy, almost dizzy, at how perfect and pure you were. his tummy fluttering at his gorgeous girl who was confused at how she felt... but in this moment jude knew you were in deep as well.
"tell me something, when you see me, does it make your heart race, like i'm the only person standing there?" you nod, "does your head tell you one thing but your gut tells you another when you see me?" you nod again, this time blowing the air out of jude's lungs. "my head tells me i shouldn't, but my gut tells me i waited so long that maybe it's now to late for us..."
"why would it be too late y/n...?" you shrug your shoulders. "because i don't you feel the same way i'm feeling." jude smiled weakly, his thumb brushing along your jaw, hearing your hum in delight, "how can you know when you haven't asked me?"
your eyes search his for any sign but you don't find any, "what are you feel in this moment jude?"
"that i'm the luckiest man to be here with you tonight," he says proudly, "that i don't think we've wasted any time, rather i feel we're barely getting started on this new branch of our lives... i can't pretend when i'm with you... because pretending to hide how i feel has been so hard, when all i want is you. all of you y/n..."
"i had to see you go through that idiot max, how he hurt you? when you were hurt i was even more devastated because i couldn't protect you. i'd do anything to make you happy or laugh because it's what i want to do. i want to be the only one who gets to do that. i promised your dad but myself also, ask me what the promise is..." jude insisted.
"what's your promise jude?"
"that i'd never break your heart or give you a reason to doubt me. that from this day forward, i completely will give you my all to care and relish our love once and for all. i'm tired of waiting and holding back of what should've existed and started when i first met you."
"jude-"
"i want to give you my all, to be devoted and in love with you forever. you have no idea what you make me feel, think! i wake up longing for you, at work, at my own home. you're the only girl i want and need in my life y/n," jude confessed, the weight finally lifted of his shoulders, now being able to feel like a free man.
you closed your eyes, breathing out a happy chuckle in relief. you sniffled, "you've ruined me jude, completely ruined me with your words, your confession! look at me, i'm worse than when we finished watching the vow!" you joked, hand nestling on the nape of his next, stroking his soft skin.
"you love me jude?"
"more than what you think."
"i need you to know i'm giving you my all as well. I've always sensed how different what we had was, and come to find out, i was just scared and felt the need to push away because you didn't feel the same way. what i feel for you never happened with who shall not be named..." jude chuckles, closing his eyes and swallowing a heavy gulp like you.
"i'm so hopelessly in love with you jude bellingham... so in love, i want to grow old with you, make every promise we said out loud come true. i knew i loved you as soon as we laid eyes, and you stumbled over your words," jude squinted his eyes, shaking his head embarrassed. "kiss me jude."
jude kissed you exactly how he dreamed. your lips soft and sweet as he imagined, even better. cradling your chin to tilt and pulling the kiss deeper. it felt so right, so amazing, so passionate. he was lost, his tongue entering your parted lips when you let out a small gasp and whimper. there was no more pretending, this was more real than ever.
"could get lost in how you taste. how you feel. i love you so much angel."
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You may notice I frequently comment on the assumptions people make about animal facilities based on their branding. Frequently, people assume accredited facilities are inherently better for animals than unaccredited facilities, or assume sanctuaries are inherently more moral / better at caring for their animals than zoos.
I want to show you an example of why I am always, always skeptical of these assumptions.
If you’re in the California area, you might have heard about Hank the Tank - who is actually a Henrietta, btw - the 500 pound nuisance bear from Lake Tahoe who broke into 21 homes in search of food. She was recently captured by wildlife officials and moved to a sanctuary in Colorado. The Wild Animal Sanctuary has three main facilities, two in Colorado and one in TX. To give you some context, it’s the biggest carnivore sanctuary in the country - they advertise somewhere between 300-500 animals, mostly large carnivores, between their properties. It’s where most of the Tiger King cats went. It’s PETA’s preferred placement for confiscated exotic animals. So, obviously, it’s got to be great, right? Except… take a look at what they posted about Henrietta’s arrival.
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Here’s their post about Henrietta’s arrival at the Refuge, the large facility in Colorado that isn’t open to the public. Let’s take a closer look at that food trough…
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What do we see here? An entire rotisserie chicken that is either blackened or highly seasoned, and a whole ham. Maybe a second chicken underneath the pile, I can’t quite tell. The sanctuary gets the majority of their bear food donated from groceries stores once it’s past the sell-by date, so we know those are older meats and they’re full of a ton of salt. Then, for fruit and veg, there’s a cantaloupe, mango, corn, avocado, grapes, and apples. Maybe a pepper or two, it’s hard to tell. That’s a lot of sugar and not a lot of fiber or roughage.
But… on top of it and to the right… are those Twizzlers?
Yes.
The sanctuary confirmed on Facebook that they fed this recently rescued obese bear what looks like almost an entire pack of Twizzlers.
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I don’t know of any world in which it’s appropriate to feed candy to a bear. Maybe a piece or two as a really high value reinforcer for hard behaviors (that isn’t relevant here, it’s openly against this sanctuary’s ethos to do any husbandry or medical training). An entire pack of Twizzlers is just appalling. But it’s not uncommon for this facility! I have a book written about their operations and animal care (that I bought at their gift shop this spring) which openly discusses how the bears get fed bread, doughnuts, marshmallows, and all sorts of incredibly unhealthy food that comes in with the grocery donations.
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But hey, this is apparently fine for the bears, according to the sanctuary’s founder. He was quoted in that same book as saying “Bears are the only animal I know of that can eat insane amounts of sugar and it never hurts them. It does not hurt their organs. They do not get clogged arteries. They do not have high blood pressure. In the wild they eat all these sweet berries in the fall, and they convert sugar to fat… so the more sugar they get the better… we would all love to have a system like that!”
Now while it’s true that bears have physiological adaptations that modulate their insulin production and sensitivity in ways that appear to prevent them from from developing diabetes, that does’t mean it’s healthy for them to regularly eat processed carbohydrates, sugar, and general junk food. And remember - Henrietta gained her fame because of how incredibly overweight she already is, and because she was seeking out human food, According to the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife, a healthy weight for a normal adult black bear is between 100-300 pounds. So, obviously, the best thing to do is… continue to feed her candy.
Then, later on in the book, it details how they have to bribe a camel to sit tight for a regular medical examination (since they don’t train for medical behaviors) by letting him drink a can of Mountain Dew each time.
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If a zoo was known publicly to be feeding their animals Mountain Dew or a couple Twizzlers - even just once, on a rare occasion - they’d be eviscerated in the media and by public opinion. But feeding out inappropriate junk food appears to be a pretty common practice at this place, and it just goes unscrutinized because everyone assumes sanctuaries are inherently better for animals.
So, long story short, never make assumptions about the quality of a facility based on it’s branding or accreditation. (TWAS is accredited by the Global Federation of Animal Sanctuaries). If you have concerns about the ethics or practices of a facility, always try to put your preconceptions aside, go and see for yourself, and think critically about what you see and what you’re told.
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alexias-putellas · 1 month
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red card // o.batlle x reader x barça femení
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o.batlle x reader x barça femení
slightly inspired by the ref in that one city vs chelsea game iykyk also in this a red card doesn’t automatically mean a match suspension bc i said so
warnings: swearing, description of injuries but nothing graphic, mentions of past bullying
-
when you played for man united, your absolute favourite games to play were the manchester derbys. the atmosphere, the fans, everything about them was euphoric and you thrived on the jeers of the rival fans.
so when you transferred to barcelona, you were delighted to find out that el clàsico matches made you feel the same way.
the only thing you didn’t like about it was olga carmona. the defender never left you alone, granted that was her job, but god she pissed you off.
and this el clàsico was no different.
from the moment the ref blew the whistle to start the game, olga was on you like a rash. she was grabbing at your shirt, pushing at you during set pieces, and somehow getting away with tackling you every two minutes.
you were famously known for being quick-tempered and acting impulsively on the pitch, more often than not ending up being booked.
since you and ona had been dating since you both played for man united, she could easily spot the rising anger in you from across the pitch and after another particularly rough tackle, she raced over and tugged you away from the madrid player before you could do anything.
“breathe.” ona whispered to you, patting your waist before gently pushing you in the direction you needed to go.
alexia, mapi, and frido, all three of them like older sisters to you, could only watch from the sidelines as all of them were injured. glances were shared everytime you were poked and prodded by a real madrid player.
“she is losing it.” mapi muttered to no one in particular, her good knee bouncing as she watched it become ingrid’s turn drag you away from olga before you could do anything.
you used your growing anger to your advantage channelled it in your strikes and barcelona were 3-0 up at halftime courtesy of you. but you were not happy.
the lockeroom didn’t seem like the best place for you to be so instead, you turned a corner and leaned against a wall, resting your hands on your knees and breathing deeply. being targeted during games wasn’t new to you, it was something you often prepared yourself for but you had a bad feeling about this game in particular. something was going to happen.
“hey,” you heard alexia say and looked up at her. “are you okay?”
you motioned to your grass-stained body and flustered appearance. “what the hell do you think?”
almost immediately, an apology flew from your mouth. alexia didn’t tolerate disrespect. she wouldn’t give you a pass because you were pissed off and you knew that. you closed your eyes and waited for her to scold you. but it never came.
instead, she placed her hand on your shoulder and squeezed. “you are doing a good job, cariño.”
you gave her a weak smile in return because it didn’t feel like it. being pulled away by your teammates was only reason you hadn’t retaliated on the pitch. if ingrid had gotten to you a few seconds later, you’re certain you would’ve laid into olga.
you walked off then without another word, finally joining the rest of the team but sitting quietly in your cubby until it was time to head back out for the second half.
it didn’t take long for you to completely lose it.
you had been running down the wing, fully intending to curl the ball over to caro, when olga crashed into you, her elbow hitting your cheek harshly before she swiped your ankles from under you, hitting the floor herself.
“what the fuck is wrong with you?!” you shouted, ignoring the way your face throbbed and shoving her back down when she tried to stand up. “just leave me alone for fucks sake!”
you could hear the roar of the real madrid players and supporters and then your own teammates pleading, begging. you turned to be met with the referee and then a red card.
you had been carded. you. the first card of the game had been given to you and it was a straight red. at that point you were certain that the ref had some sort of vendetta against you.
tears burned in your eyes. ona quickly wrapped her arm around your shoulders but you shrugged her off. you had never been booked with a straight red before so you were utterly devastated.
keira and aitana were still pleading with the referee, explaining that you’d been targeted the entire game and that it wasn’t fair for you to be punished for something everyone else had gotten away with.
the decision wasn’t reversed but even if it was, you wouldn’t have been on the pitch to see it, storming to the back fairly quickly. you didn’t look back at ona and you most certainly didn’t look up, not wanting to see those particular three faces staring at you in disappointment.
before the match you had promised them that you wouldn’t do anything stupid, that you wouldn’t let any of the real madrid players, especially olga, get under your skin. but you allowed it to happen. they pushed and pushed until you shoved.
you had ruined el clàsico and let your teammates down in quick succession so it was safe to say that you were feeling terrible.
as soon as you reached the lockeroom, you were in the shower, letting the warm water wash over your body. when you were done, you made your way over to ona’s cubby and dug through her bag for the spare hoodie she always packed in case you wanted it.
slipping it on, you dropped to the bench and used your phone to keep up with the game. upon noticing there was only a few minutes left, you swiped ona’s car keys and headed out of the stadium, not fancying facing any of the girls or the fans.
you waited patiently in the passengers side, silently handing the keys to ona when she finally joined you.
“estás bien?” the spaniard asked quietly and you nodded, staring out of the window.
“fine.”
ona knew you weren’t fine but she also knew that pushing you any more was a terrible idea. so she settled for taking your hand and when you didn’t immediately push her away, she knew she was doing something right by you.
you had a habit of completely shutting down when you were upset. so much so that even ona couldn’t through to you sometimes.
she was hoping that this wouldn’t be one of those times.
the drive to ona’s apartment was quiet. even when you got inside, you didn’t say a word, just dropped onto the sofa with a heavy sigh.
when your girlfriend approached, you mistook her look of concern as one of annoyance and as she reached out to touch your cheek, you inadvertently flinched back.
“amor,” ona whispered. “i would never hurt you.”
“i know. i know, oni, i know,” your eyes were wide, horrified that the look on ona’s face had been put there by you. you quickly grabbed her hand and placed it on your cheek, ignoring the throbbing that followed. “i know you wouldn’t, i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.”
your murmured apologies were quickly replaced by sobs and ona wrapped her arms around you, pulling you into her chest.
her grip didn’t relent until you were letting out shaky, uneasy breaths but even then she was reluctant to let you sit up. you noticed that her eyes were trained on your cheek and instinctively reached up to touch it.
“is it bad?” you asked quietly, feeling the swell under your fingers.
“no,” ona shook her head. “but i think it will bruise.”
“oh, great,” you muttered. “just what i need. a semi-permanent reminder of an awful game to haunt me for weeks.”
as you pushed yourself up, you hoped that ona wouldn’t see the way you winced but of course, she did.
“you are hurt,” she frowned. “where?”
“everywhere,” you whispered. “i don’t think my face is the only thing that’s bruised either.”
you leaned over and pulled your socks down to reveal your ankles, both painted exactly like you expected. more bruises were flickered across your thighs and even more on your upper body.
“i look like i went five rounds with mike tyson, not played a game of bloody football.” you huffed.
“they are just bruises, mi amor, they will fade.”
the outside bruises might fade but you weren’t sure that the ones you had on the inside would. the red card would follow you forever, you were certain of it.
there was no doubt in your mind that your actions had gone viral, solidifying people’s opinions of you. being described as a violent thug had never really bothered you before but it suddenly left a bad taste in your mouth, paired with what you did, were they really wrong? you decided it was probably best to stay away from the internet for a bit.
the thoughts left you unconsciously leaning back into ona, not realising she’d wrapped her arms around you again until there was a kiss planted on the side of your neck and you were brought back to earth.
“do you think ale will bench me?” you asked, running your nails along her arms as you blinked back tears.
“no, i don’t think she will.”
“…what if i asked her to?”
silence followed and you swallowed thickly. ona’s fingers ran gently through your hair as she pondered your question. “is that what you want?”
you sighed shakily. “it’s what i deserve and i think ale would agree with me.”
ᡣ𐭩
alexia did not agree with you. the only reason she said yes was because of the look of desperation on your face.
it was the first day back at training after el clàsico and you had arrived a little earlier than normal with ona so you could speak to your captain before anyone else got there. you knew that if any of the other girls overheard, they’d persuade you both to change your minds.
but you didn’t speak to alexia again, instead avoiding her like the plague. same with mapi and frido. ingrid was also on the list due to her association with the latter two.
since it was an early morning training, you were to have breakfast there. you sat at your usual table with ona and some of the other younger girls, laughing every now and again and joining the conversation when you needed to.
unbeknownst to you, you were the topic of conversation a few tables over. if you weren’t so focused on acting interested in whatever jana and esmee were talking about, you probably would’ve noticed alexia staring at you.
“–she asked to be benched.” she said, bringing all the other conversations around her to a halt.
“qué?” mapi frowned, turning to look at you as well. “she did?”
“sí, before training,” alexia nodded. “she came in early.”
“you said no,” mapi turned back around, frown deepening at her best friends silence. “ale, we need her–“
“you did not see her, maría,” alexia protested quietly with a shake of her head. “she looked like a scared little girl, i could not say no.”
“maybe it’s a good thing,” ingrid cut in, ignoring the glare mapi sent her way. “look at her, she is not in the right headspace right now and she has recognised that. would you rather her lose her temper and actually hurt someone?”
the table grew silent after ingrid’s words and it stayed that way until keira broke it. “ona said earlier that she hasn’t been on her phone in days.”
“with good reason,” lucy said, everyone turning to look at her. “come on girls, you know how much stick she gets after a normal game. it’s probably a million times worse than usual so can you really blame her for not wanting to read any of it?”
oh but you had. you’d read it all. you gave into temptation on the night of the game and with ona sleeping peacefully next to you, you grabbed your phone and looked. it became a nightly routine. wait for ona to fall asleep before crying silently as you let the comments sink in because to you, they were all right.
that was the first of many red cards, you were going to drag barcelona’s reputation down the drain, you were eventually going to put someone in the hospital, your teammates were going to hate you, if they didn’t already, and ona was eventually going to get tired of it all and break up with you.
and if the bags under your eyes, your insistence on not starting, and your unusual quietness wasn’t an indicator that something wasn’t quite right with you, your behaviour during training certainly was.
you didn’t mess around with pina and patri, you moved away from mapi when she began poking at you and you chose to pair up with aitana instead of ona whenever you could. having decided that a bit of space from you every now and again would be best for your relationship. you had suddenly become the poster-girl for good behaviour so that you could blend into the background and alexia would have no reason to call on you.
somehow you managed to keep it up until training had ended and you were the first to head to the showers, getting lost further in your thoughts the longer you stayed in there.
when you got out, you headed straight over to ona, completely bypassing your own cubby. you weren’t really sure how your girlfriend was going to react considering you’d spent half the day ignoring her but you were very relieved when she slipped her arm around your waist and tugged you closer.
“i think ale wants to talk to you.” ona whispered and you immediately shook your head.
“the only person i want to talk to is you,” you whispered back. “and i really really just want to go home.”
that look of desperation was back on your face and ona nudged you towards your cubby with a sigh. you quickly got the message and grabbed your things, following her out without another word.
and later that night as you and ona ate your favourite takeout, she could see that you seemed to be having a mental debate with yourself, glancing up at the spaniard every now and again as you pushed your food around your plate and she pretended not to notice.
but ona knew you. and she knew that pushing would only make you pull further away so instead of making you talk, she let you put on one of your favourite movies and you cuddled into her side, letting yourself relax for the first time in days.
ᡣ𐭩
“you are starting tomorrow.”
your eyebrows furrowed as alexia walked by you, shaking your head and hurrying to catch up to her. “no, ale–“
“i have benched you for three games. no more cariño. we need you.”
alexia’s tone was stern and left no room for arguing, leaving you stood still, glaring at her retreating figure. you knew that your captain hadn’t been pleased about keeping you out, your presence obviously missed on the pitch, growing frustrated with every passing game that you were sat on the sidelines as the team seemed to struggle without you.
you moved slowly towards the lockeroom, ignoring the pit in your stomach that grew with every step. pushing open the door, you were happy that it was relatively empty but as your eyes scanned the faces that were left, that happiness soon faded.
at first you figured that it must’ve been a coincidence but then you spotted your phone in ona’s hand.
your attempt to escape was pathetic really. your arm was caught as soon as you turned around and you were dragged back, someone swiftly kicking the door shut. you glared up at alexia, wrenching your arm from her grip before storming over to ona and snatching the device from her hand.
“none of it is true.”
you weren’t sure who’d said it, too busy shoving everything into your bag with your shaky hands and slapping ona’s away when she tried to help.
“are you listening to me?” it was mapi who grabbed your arms and spun you around, only tightening her grip when you tried to squirm away. “it is not true so stop punishing yourself.”
“maría.” ingrid warned, seeing how worked up you were getting.
“no. she needs to know.”
tears burned in your eyes and as soon as the first sob left your lips, her hands were in the air and she was taking a step back. you sat back into the cubby, placing your head in your hands. “it is true, it’s happening again.”
frido was the only person to pick up on the last word and she pushed herself up from her spot next to ingrid, moving to kneel in front of you. “what do you mean again?”
you froze momentarily. glancing up, you saw her looking at you with so much love and care that you crumbled.
“i was fourteen, there was a girl at the academy i was in and she was really mean. she gave everyone a hard time and she said something to me one day, i can’t remember what it was but i remember how angry it made me and–and i tackled her in training, i–i sent her to the hospital, broke her leg in three places.”
the silence you were met with was exactly what you were expecting and your lips trembled, a shaky sigh falling from them as ona grabbed your hand, entwining your fingers with hers. “amor, you did not mean to–“
“the doctors told her that she’d never play again,” you deadpanned. “and as far as i’m aware she hasn’t. the–the other girls shunned me, they hated me and they didn’t hide it. i was benched for weeks until i moved to a different academy, my new teammates somehow found out what had happened and they turned on me too. i think they were scared of me. it was horrible. i didn’t have any friends, nobody liked me. the anger i felt that day, i–i felt it again with olga. did i hurt her?”
“no,” ona shook her head. “she was fine.”
you hadn’t noticed that frido had stood up and ushered mapi and ingrid out until alexia was the one kneeling in front of you. “you should have told me.”
“i don’t tell anyone. this is the first time i’ve spoke about it in years,” you frowned, leg bouncing. “i don’t want to hurt anyone else, i can’t go through that guilt again.”
ona reached out with her free hand and brushed her fingers along your fading bruise, leaning into her touch.
alexia’s hand was on your knee then, pushing down to keep your foot on the ground. you turned to look at her, anxiety bubbling in your stomach.
“you will start tomorrow,” she told you. your shoulders dropped and you leaned back into ona. “but if you want to be subbed off at any point, i will make sure it happens, vale?”
“vale.” you sighed.
“good,” alexia reached over and grabbed your training top, unceremoniously tugging you forward to press a kiss to your head. “now go home and get some sleep. you look awful.”
“charming.” you muttered, pulling a face at the blonde as she left the lockeroom.
“i think you look beautiful, mi vida.” ona whispered in your ear and you felt your cheeks heat up.
“you have to think that, it’s in the job description,” you rolled your eyes fondly, turning your attention to her. “can we go home though? wanna nap with you.”
“por supuesto, vamos.”
as soon as you entered the apartment, ona was tugging you towards the bedroom, your quiet giggles filling the silence. the spaniard threw herself onto the bed before pulling you on top of her, running her fingers through your hair as you nuzzled her neck. “love you, oni.”
“love you too bebé. no matter what.”
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navybrat817 · 4 months
Text
The Dad Diaries: Welcome Home
Pairing: Dad!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: Bucky reflects on the first night with his son home and puts his thoughts to paper.
Word Count: Over 1.2k
Warnings: Fluff, reflecting, first time dad, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning and a dad, okay?).
A/N: Welcome to The Dad Diaries! This AU will focus on Bucky and his relationship with his son (and you!) ❤️ Thanks to the beautiful @whisperlullaby for giving this intro a look and assuring me it wasn't garbage, but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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Bucky stared intently at the open blank journal that sat in the middle of his office desk. He had picked up the pen a few minutes ago, but hadn’t written a single word. Why did he feel stuck? Better yet, what was he thinking by doing this? Reading often came easy to him, but writing? That was something else entirely.
It was also something he wanted to do.
He ran a hand over his face with a sigh and wondered if he should call it a night, crawl into bed with you, and try tomorrow. No, he didn’t want to push it off before he even began. Glancing at the monitor, he heard your voice in his head, a memory of something you told him in the early stages of dating:
The best writing comes from the heart. Write what you and your heart love because no one knows that story better than you.
Bucky had plenty of stories to tell. How he became a hero and a good man after years of pain and darkness. Or how he fell in love with you and became your husband.
And his newest adventure of becoming a father.
He wasn’t sure how to be a dad yet, but he knew he loved his son. That was more than enough to start. And with a smile tugging at his lips, he put the pen to paper.
Hey, Nugget,
My name is James Buchanan Barnes. Most people call me Bucky. Your mom calls me her husband and I’m the luckiest man in the world for that, especially since she gave me the greatest gift I could ever ask for: you.
Your name is James, too. Your mom doesn't know if we’ll call you Jamie or JJ, but I have a feeling you'll hear a bit of both. And one day, I’ll get to hear you call me Dad. Or Dada or Daddy or Papa.
Whatever makes you happy.
He paused in his writing when he thought he heard something on the monitor. His eyes flickered to the screen again and he breathed a little easier when he saw that his baby was still sleeping soundly in the middle of the crib. It wouldn’t stop him from checking on him later, just to be on the safe side.
I’m so glad you’re home. In fact, tonight is your first night in the nursery. I hope you like it here. To quote Ralph Waldo Emerson: “A house is made with walls and beams: a home is built with love and dreams.”
Yeah, your old man likes to read. Maybe you will, too. I even have an original copy of The Hobbit and would love to give it to you when you're older.
Books lined the far wall of Bucky’s office, many of them worn from the amount of times he read them. He made sure Jamie’s room had a reading nook, too. It was one of the only things he asked for when the two of you designed the nursery.
I hope you get enough sleep tonight. Your mom, too. You both did great at the hospital and deserve all the rest you can get.
Would you believe me if I said I was a nervous wreck when I brought your mom in, but tried not to let it show? People call me strong, but I don’t think I ever witnessed true strength until I saw how steady of a rock she was. She blew me away, which didn't surprise me. She amazes me every day.
Hearing your first cry stopped my heart and brought tears of joy to my eyes. After nine months of waiting and talking to your mom’s stomach, you were finally here. And seeing her hold you made me fall in love all over again.
Sorry if that sounds sappy, but it’s true. She looked right at me with happy tears in her eyes and said, “Bucky, look! Look at what we made! It's our little Nugget!” and my heart swelled. She insisted on calling you that and it rubbed off on me. Believe me when I say that you are the luckiest baby in the world to have the mother that you do.
He stopped writing again to glance at his wedding band, smiling all over again. He thought your love filled his heart before, but it overflowed now. It warmed him like nothing else ever could.
You’re probably wondering why I’m writing this since a lot of time will pass by the time you read this. Sometimes I may write to remember things I’m afraid I’ll forget. Other days I’ll write to reflect and get the words out when my mind is too loud. But my hope is that this will be a gift to you.
A bond for the two of us.
As you grow, I’ll fill the pages with the memories of you and our family. I’ll tell you about my past and how it shaped me into the man I am today. How your mom and I met and how I somehow convinced her to fall in love with me. And I’ll be sure to tell you about the day she told me we were going to have you and how that news changed my life for the better.
He swallowed the lump in his throat before he continued.
I also plan to fill this with your milestones. Like your first smile. Is it selfish if I hope to see it first? If not me, your mom. She’d love that. Your first step. Being selfish again, but I hope it’s me you walk toward so I can pick you up and tell you how proud I am. And your first word. I hope it’s Mama.
Though I won’t object if you say Dada.
Bucky chuckled as he imagined the look of betrayal on your beautiful face if your son said “Dada” first instead of “Mama”.
I’m sure some days I’ll have more to say than others. If I’m lucky, I can pass on life lessons and words of wisdom. Some days though I may not say the right thing and I know I’ll stumble along the way as I figure out how to be the best dad to you. I say “best” and not “perfect” because perfection doesn’t exist. Except for you and your mom.
The beauty of it is that I don’t have to go it alone. I’ll have your mom by my side to help guide and protect you and to watch you flourish. And my hope is that you know as you look through the pages how much we love you.
Even on days I may not get it right, I’m your dad, you’re my son, and you’ll always have a home with me and a place in my heart.
I’ll write more when I can, Nugget. Until then, I love you.
Always,
Dad
Bucky set the pen down as he exhaled. It wasn't perfect, but it didn't have to be. It was a start. As long as he put his heart into his words, it would shine from the pages.
And he couldn't wait for all the adventures he’d have with his little Nugget.
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I hope you lovelies are excited to take this journey with Bucky. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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luveline · 8 months
Note
whenever youre free!! can you please write a spencer x reader where we meet spencer during an early season where he’s still cute and awkward maybe we date too but something happens and we don’t see him for a long time only to meet him again when he’s older and hotter (post prison) and there’s still crazy tension after all those years. in love with your writing btw!!! ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥
tysm for requesting! hope this is ok :D ♡ 1.2k
cw vaguely suggestive theme
Looking at Spencer, you could almost think you were fresh out of college again, unsure of yourself and in need of a friend. 
He'd been much more than a friend. It's why you're here. 
The cake might have been a bad idea. You hold it between two hands, the subtle smell of chocolate rising from the box's ill-fitting lid. Your breath catches, words coming out wonky, "Hey. Spencer?" 
He looks up from his book, startled at being found, you think. "Y/N?" 
He looks the same. 
Obviously, he's older. He has facial hair and his curls are styled rather than having been left to their own devices, but you feel as hopelessly enamoured with him as you had years ago, because he still smiles like a puppy dog.
You're twice as surprised as he is when he stands from his coffee table to hug you. The cake box wobbles in your hands as he squeezes you, swaying you from side to side, his laugh warm in your ear. 
"What are you doing back here?" he asks, diving backward to see your face. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again." 
"I still had JJ's number, you know, from when I wanted that address, and she texted me to say you'd been released, and I," —your voice curls tighter, are you talking too much?— "know you might not want to hear from me, but I was worried about you. You were my best friend." 
His smile flickers. You press the cake into his hands. 
"That's for you," you say. 
Spencer's wavering smile turns to the box. He sets it down on the table beside his coffee cup and tented book, removing the lid carefully. You remember suddenly how nice his hands are, and the tracing of his fingertips down your bare shoulders. Goosebumps erupt along the ghost of his touch. 
"Well done on not being a criminal," he reads, snorting. "Funny. Little too soon." 
You feel like your stomach's fallen out, but he drops the act with another laugh. 
"Oh, you're still a jerk," you say. "I'm glad something hasn't changed." 
"You think I've changed?" he asks. 
"You didn't get any taller, if that's what you're asking." 
Spencer's smile turns fond. It's the sweet, sticky smile he'd always give you before he'd tell you he loved you, or that you were the best best friend ever. Or that last night, when you followed him hand in hand down the long hallway to his bedroom. 
"I wasn't that much of a jerk, was I?" he asks. 
"No, you weren't." You hold your hands behind your back. "Could I join you? Just for a bit?" 
"You brought me a cake. I can't say no, can I? Of course you can sit down. I'll get you a coffee, okay?" 
He touches his hand to your arm as he passes. You sit down in the seat across from him, sick with what-if and should-have. What if I could've stayed? Maybe I should have done more. But when Spencer ignored the letters you sent him while he was incarcerated, you figured you'd done more than he wanted. The cake was a last ditch effort, spurred on by JJ's text that read, I think he'd be really happy to see you. 
Spencer puts a china cup down in front of you. You take a sip, muscle memory, and grin at him shyly as he slides into the seat across from you. "You remembered." 
"I remember everything." 
"Right. Your photographic memory." 
"Eidetic, and sure, but I wouldn't forget about you." He reads your shyness for what it is, worry you've overstepped. He's too perceptive to trick. "I think I tried, but… I have so many bad memories, I wanted the good ones to keep." 
You can't imagine the things he experienced in prison. JJ couldn't tell you much. You knew from how you had to address his letters alone that he was sent to a general correctional facility in Mexico, rather than the protective custody he'd needed. He doesn't look terrible considering, but you've barely seen him since you had to leave. He's aged well. The only worry is his dark under eyes. 
"We had a good time," you say gently. "I knew you'd need that. That's why I sent you all those letters, you know? I wasn't trying to come back into your life, I know I don't deserve it after I left, but I couldn't stop thinking about you by yourself." 
You stare at his book. 
"How many letters did you send?" he asks. 
"I don't really remember." 
"I didn't get one." He grimaces. "I didn't get any from my mom, either. Think it was a coincidence?" 
Spencer's time in was kind of sick. He stabbed himself, made friends with criminals, played a lot of chess, and learned how to make tacos in a doritos bag. It was also arguably the loneliest and most degrading time of his life. 
One coffee becomes two, two becomes a third to go. You feel a hundred emotions but there's one that stands out the most as you drift around Pentagon City with him —wanting. You want him to be your best friend again, to rub your back and hold you when you're tired, to take you grocery shopping in his beat up P130. You want him to kiss you like he had, like he was searching for something, but he's changed so much that you don't know if your Spencer is still in there, under everything, or if he'd even want to.
"You live in the same apartment?" you ask. 
"Can you imagine how much it would cost me to move that many books? Paying the rent turns out cheaper," he says, the two of you walking in the grey street. "What about you? You didn't come all the way here to see me." 
"I actually did." You rub up the length of your upper arm, sheepish. "I did, Spencer." 
For a while, all you can hear is the plastic rustling of the bag held in his hand. 
"Thank you for writing to me. I didn't get to read them, but it makes a difference." 
You lift your head to meet his eyes. He holds your gaze, a charge behind his dark brown eyes. You used to think his irises and his pupils were one and the same, but you can see now that there are flecks of light in his irises. His hedging of thick lashes kiss in the corners as he slowly, slowly smiles. 
You glare at him. "Don't." 
"Don't what?" 
"You know what. You're doing that thing. Pretending you're not trying to make me nervous." 
"I'm not doing that. Flustered, but not nervous." Is he smirking?
"Flustered," you repeat, your smile stupidly big now, cheeks aching. "Yeah, right, Reid."
His pinky brushes yours. You don't have any proof that he's doing it purposefully, but he is. 
"Do you want to get something to eat? You can tell me what you were writing in your letters. I'd really, really like to know." His voice is threaded with a familiar timidity for the first time since you reunited. 
There you are, you think happily. "Sure. You buy me a sticky bun from our old place and I'll tell you all my written secrets." 
"Deal." 
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starkwlkr · 20 days
Text
was i such a fool? | mark webber
part 1
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ENGLAND
You felt embarrassed. You didn’t know who was the person who spread the confirmed rumor around the paddock, but you knew that being in the paddock was the last thing you wanted to do.
Your daughter, Grace, had been reading in her room while you were in your home office replying to some emails. Zak had let you get some time off, which you were hesitant to take at first but you knew how chaotic it was going to get in the paddock if you were present.
“Mommy!” Grace called for you from her room.
“What is it, my love?” You asked, closing your laptop as you stood up and walked to her room. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, i finished my book. Can we go to the bookstore and get more?” Grace asked.
“Of course we can, baby.” You replied. As you were about to leave to go back to your office, Grace spoke once again.
“Can I go to a race?”
Grace had never attended a race before. She knew what your job was and why it required you to travel so much, but she never once attended a race. It surprised you that she even thought about it.
“A race . . .” You sighed. “You really want to go to a race?”
Grace nodded. “I want to see the fast cars.”
You thought about it for a second. It would be nice for Grace to see a race after years of only seeing it on tv. But then again only several people knew that she existed and you liked it that way.
“I’ll think about it.”
TIME SKIP TO ABU DHABI 2022
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MCLAREN GARAGE
Grace watched as several men dressed in orange with helmets on sat in their chairs. She was introduced to the pit crew by you. Everyone on the team was more than happy to meet her. She was extremely excited to be able to watch her first race in person.
“I’ll be over there watching the race, okay? Stay here with Lucy.” You told Grace. Lucy was an old friend from school. When you explained that Grace wanted to attend a race, she offered to look after the girl while you worked.
“Okay. I love you.” Grace gave you a kiss on the cheek.
“I love you more, my love.” You replied and hugged her before you left.
From a distance, Mark watched the girl wave goodbye to you. It made him feel like the worst person ever. How could he do that to you? You never deserved it. You were always so supportive of him, comforting him when he needed it and that all changed the second Mark kissed someone else.
He thought about going up to Grace and making small talk, but he knew you wouldn’t like it. As much as he wanted to, he didn’t want to upset you even more. Seeing her, so close yet so far away, brought sadness to the older man’s heart. She had his eyes, his smile, they even shared the same laughter, something you loved when you were dating Mark.
By the end of the race, he had decided to talk to you.
He tried to find you, but it seemed like you knew he wanted to talk so you hid from him. Only it wasn’t like that. Grace wanted to walk on the track so you took her. Lucy was tired so you told her that you would meet her back at the hotel. She held your hand as you and her walked around. It was a perfect moment for you and your daughter.
“Did you enjoy your first race?” You asked.
“Yes! The cars go faster than on the tv, it was so cool!” Grace exclaimed. “Can I go to another race?”
“You’ll have to wait until next year, my love, and you have school. I don’t want you missing a day of school because of a race.” You explained.
“Okay. . .” She sighed. “Who was the man that was in the garage?” She suddenly asked.
“There’s a lot of men in there, Grace.”
“He didn’t wear orange like the rest of the team. He had one of these too.” Grace pointed to her paddock pass. “I think Lucy said he used to be a driver.”
You had an idea of who Grace was talking about and you didn’t like it.
When you made it back to the Mclaren garage, you saw that it was almost empty. A few members of the pit crew were cleaning up, but that didn’t catch your attention. It was Mark that was pacing around the garage.
“Mommy, that’s the man I was talking about.” Grace whispered to you.
Mark noticed your presence and stopped pacing. “Hi.” Was all that he said.
“It’s getting late, Mark. You should go back to your hotel room, get some sleep. I know you don’t like early morning flights.” You said to the Australian.
“Hear me out, please. Just this once and I’ll leave you alone. Give me five minutes.” He pleaded. The remaining pit crew took that as a sign to give you privacy so they left.
Grace held onto your hand even tighter. “Who’s that?” She whispered again to you.
“His name is Mark.” You said.
Four words was all it took to break Mark Webber even more. He was just Mark to his daughter and he had to accept that.
“Three minutes and that’s it.” You said.
“I’ll take that.”
@glow-ish @vicurious28 @dannyriccsupremacy @viennakarma @pear-1206 @nathalielovesonedirection @jaydaaasworld @shimmermotorsport @honethatty12 @a-beaverhausen
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andvys · 9 months
Text
I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 2
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Warnings: angst, hurt/no comfort, heartbreak, break ups, jealousy, mentions of cheating, mean!Nancy, King!Steve, no upside down
Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!cheerleader!reader , Steve Harrington x Nancy Wheeler
Summary: After the breakup you try to go on with your life but it's harder than you thought, especially when you have to see him with her everyday.
Word count: 6.9k
Notes: The upside down doesn't exist here. All the older teens are 18 & 18+
series masterlist
prologue | part one
-
He drags himself through the streets of Hawkins. The wind is harsh and the thin jacket that you threw back at him after you had followed him down your driveway, does little to shield him from the cold autumn wind. The rain is falling and the darkened sky forecasts the storm that is heading to this town. The leaves are falling, stripping the trees from the colorfulness. 
A frown is stretched across his face, his shoulders are slumped, wet strands of hair are hanging in front of his eyes, he doesn’t bother to push them away, he doesn’t even bother to hurry and get home faster to shield himself from the rain and the storm that comes closer and closer. 
He didn’t drive to your place the way he usually would, today he walked. 
His heart is aching in an unfamiliar way, it’s something he had never felt before. He can’t identify this feeling, he doesn’t understand what it is. He just knows that he feels bad for what he did to you. He always felt bad about the way he treated you but he never changed, not for you. 
He rarely ever gave you good moments to remember, yet you only held onto those. You didn’t care about the way he was treating you. You didn’t care that he looked at other girls or even flirted with them. You didn’t care that he forgot dates or even ditched you to hang out with Tommy instead. You didn’t care that he only gave you weekends.
The flowers he gave you, the little presents here and there, the I love you’s, the kisses in the rain, the few soft moments were enough for you. You loved him, no matter what. You loved him on his good days and on his bad days. He can’t do the same for you. He can’t love you, not the way you love him. 
He walks back into his house, not caring about the rain that soaked through his clothes, making it cling to his skin uncomfortably. He feels awful, he felt that way all night after you walked away from him. It was the first Friday night without you and it felt.. wrong. You always stayed over on weekends, his bedroom felt empty and lonely without you. 
After kicking his wet shoes off and throwing the soaked jacket on the ground, he drags himself upstairs and towards his bedroom. He eyes his bed, the one he slept with you in, the one he kissed you in, the one he held you in. The picture on his nightstand makes the ache even worse– you in your cheer uniform and him in his basketball uniform after a game, his arm is wrapped around your waist, you are both looking at each other with big smiles on your faces. Your green scrunchie is laying on his nightstand, along with a bottle of your favorite perfume. Your clothes are in his closet, your magazines and favorite books are laying around. 
Where does Nancy fit into all of this? 
This is so wrong, so so wrong but Steve doesn’t realize it fully yet. 
For a moment, he lets himself feel. He sits down on his bed with a heavy sigh, he reaches for your scrunchie, holding it in the palm of his hand, he stares at it. He remembers the night you stayed over at his place for the first time, when you just started dating. You were nervous and shy as though it was the first time alone with him– it wasn’t. You have known each other since you were little kids, your mom’s have been friends since their days at high school, they have even gone to summer camps together and are friends to this day. You and Steve have been around each other since, well, always. Whenever your mom’s would have ‘girls nights’, the two of you would hang out in yours or his room, listening to music or watching movies together. You were friends before you became more than that. He has yet to realize what he actually lost. 
The first time you stayed over, he walked into his room after giving you privacy to get changed. You were sitting on his bed when he walked back in, in nothing but one of his big shirts, your hair was open, your face free of any makeup. You looked so beautiful, he remembers the way his breath got caught in his throat, the way you blushed when he stared at you for a long time before speaking up. He remembers the way he sat down behind you and gathered your hair with his hands and pulled it into a low ponytail before he kissed your neck softly. 
He doesn’t feel the smile tugging at his lips at that memory. 
He looks at the picture on his nightstand, he reaches for it. The smile on your face so different from the look on your face he saw earlier– the tears in your eyes, the quivering lips, the sadness and the pain in your features. Steve stops breathing for a moment, a sinking feeling takes place in his chest and stomach. 
What did he do? 
He looks up and looks around his room with a weird feeling in his chest. The energy in his room is off, he can feel it now. He looks at his desk, books and papers are laying messily on the table. He remembers studying for a science test with you on his lap, for every right answer he got a kiss from you. He looks over to his bathroom, the door is wide open, he stares at the sink and thinks about the way you used to brush your teeth together in the mornings after you had stayed over.  
The moment those memories start to flood back, he shuts them out. He throws the scrunchie on his bed and gets up, he leaves the room and comes back with an empty box, moments later. He fills it with all the things that belong to you, everything that you have left behind goes into that box, which then goes into the back of his closet. He can’t get rid of it but he can’t give these things back to you either. It’s over but he just can’t give it back. 
He can’t let go. 
He can’t let you go, not yet. 
Not even when he ends up calling her after putting your things into the very back of his closet. Not even when he takes her out on their first date later that night. Not even when he kisses her when he drops her off again– ignoring the way it feels so wrong to feel someone else’s lips on his, ignoring the way it feels like he is betraying you.
-
Sunday morning. No arms are wrapped around you, no kisses are left on your shoulder, no ‘good morning’ whispers. You wake up to an empty bed, goosebumps arise on your skin when the cold wind touches your bare arms, you left the window open for him but he didn’t come, of course he didn't, what were you thinking? That he would climb through your window, apologize for what he did and beg for forgiveness? Did you really think that he would do that? You didn’t but you had hoped that he would. 
You lay in your cold bed, beneath the sheets that do nothing to comfort you. You look around your messy room, it feels so lonely. The house feels lonely without him here. Your mom is rarely ever home, too many shifts at the station keep her out of the house most of the time but Sunday mornings are always spent at home. 
The weather matches your mood, it’s raining harder than the day before and thunder rumbles in the sky. Tears well up in your eyes when your mind takes you back to him. How will you keep going? Your life turned upside down in the span of a few days, you lost him– not only your boyfriend but also your childhood friend. You lost both. He threw it all away, he threw you away like you never meant anything to him. 
A sob rises up in your throat, the ache in your chest is so fresh and it hurts so bad. It makes you want to rip your heart out of your chest to get rid of all this pain. 
You hear dishes clattering in the kitchen. You’re excited to see her so despite the pain and the sadness in your chest, you sit up and drag yourself out of your bed, using the bathroom and freshening up before you make your way downstairs. The smell of coffee lingers in the air, bringing a sense of comfort to you. The radio is on, if you leave me now is playing– how ironic. You roll your eyes and bite back your tears as you walk into the kitchen. Your mom is standing in front of the window, a cup of steaming hot coffee in her hand and a magazine in the other. She is wearing her workout clothes, she must have been on her morning run already.
You swallow, blinking a few times to make your eyes look less glassy. 
“Good morning, mom.” 
You quickly turn towards the coffee pot before she turns around, reaching for the orange mug. You miss the look of surprise on her face when she sees you up so early. 
“Good morning, sweetie.” 
She places her magazine on the counter, leaning against it, she presses the mug to her chest and watches you. You pour some sugar and milk into your coffee, stirring it slowly with the silver spoon, not glancing at her just yet. 
“What are you doing up so early?” 
Is it early? You didn’t even check the time when you got up. A glance at the clock on the wall tells you that it’s 8am. Great. You only slept for two hours. 
“I went to sleep early last night,” you lie and take a sip of your coffee. You turn your back to her and walk towards the kitchen table. You can feel her eyes on you. Maybe it was a mistake to come downstairs already, you are not ready to tell her about what happened. 
She grabs the magazine again and joins you at the table. 
“No date night last night?” She teases you, not knowing that this is enough for you to tear up again, “is Steve still sleeping? I bought those bagels he likes so much.”
Your bottom lip quivers and your eyes well up with tears. 
You and Steve always spent Sunday mornings sitting at the kitchen table with your mom, eating breakfast, drinking coffee and talking for hours. Sometimes Steve’s mom, Lauren would come over as well– now it’s all over. 
You shake your head slowly, staring at the dark liquid inside your favorite mug, “n-no.” 
She doesn’t have to look at your face to know that something is off, the way you are sitting with your shoulders slumped is more than enough for her to figure out that you are not feeling well. She furrows her brows and leans forward. 
“What happened, y/n?” 
You press your lips together, blinking rapidly, as though it will stop the tears from falling. You look up at her through your bangs, tears continuing to well up. Your hands are shaking and it takes everything in you not to break down.
Her eyes flash with realization, she raises her brows and sighs. Her gaze softens and she instantly reaches out to grab your hand, “oh y/n.” 
She doesn’t need words or an explanation to know what happened. The look on your face, the tears in your eyes are enough. She knows it all too well. 
You break down in front of her, not caring about holding the tears in any longer. She hugs you tightly, runs her fingers through your hair and comforts you as best as she can but it does little to make you feel better. The pain is just too fresh. 
How will you keep going? You ask yourself again. Steve had been there all your life, ever since you were little kids, he was there. He was always there and now you just have to accept that he is gone? That you have lost your boyfriend and your best friend? That he fell for another girl and left you for her? That you weren’t enough? That he never loved you when he said he did? 
What if you never crossed that line with him? What if you just stayed friends? What if you saw through him from the start? 
There are so many what if’s running through your mind, so many questions, though you don’t have any answers for them. 
There are so many things that you don’t understand. How could he say I love you when he never meant it? I love you under the moonlight, I love you between kisses, I love you during classes, I love you before he hung up the phone, I love you before going to bed, before leaving your house, before parting ways at school. So many I love you’s, so many lies. How could he touch you and still sleep with you when she was already on his mind? Did he think about her when he was with you? 
You hope he didn’t but that hope dies when you see him a day later, walking down the hallway with a smile on his face, hand in hand with another girl. After only two days of being without you, he is already with her, looking happier than ever. It tears a gasp out of you, it makes you stare at him in shock and with tears in your eyes as he looks right at you. 
Curious eyes, shocked faces and hushed whispers.
Steve swallows nervously, he puts on a brave face. He can see the look in your eyes, the tears, the pain, the shock when your eyes move over to her. Nancy Wheeler. She is holding his hand tightly, looking around shyly when she notices all the stares. Her hand feels different from yours. 
All eyes are on the new couple but his eyes are on you. He watches the way your face goes from shock to pain to betrayal to disappointment. Questions run through your mind, he can tell by the look on your face. He can tell by the way your eyes flash with confusion when they meet his again. How could you? You were mine last week and now you are already hers? Were you ever mine? 
Uncertainty fills him the longer he stares at you.
This was the right decision, right? 
You stare at him for what feels like forever. Time slows and it’s just the two of you in this hallway. He forgets about all the people staring at him, he forgets about her. For a moment, it’s only you and him. Tears that he would have kissed away in other circumstances threaten to fall down your cheeks but you don’t let them. You force them away and blink rapidly. You are suffering because of him. He knows it and it makes his heart sink to his stomach. 
He forces himself to look away from you. He forces himself to look at her. Though his eyes itch to glance at you when he hears your locker shutting and your footsteps echoing through the crowded hallway as you hurry out of the school. You brush past him, the smell of your perfume invades his senses. 
He wants to turn around but he doesn’t. 
-
You knew this would happen, you knew you would break down the moment you would see him. The mention of his name was enough to make you cry but seeing him with her after he just broke up with you was too much. 
You didn’t want to run away, you didn’t want to break down but you couldn’t help it. The moment you saw him with her, a wave of nausea fell over you, you had to get out so you ran out of the school with your backpack in hand and your jacket in the other. You ran to the back of the school, the place where all the stoners– no one is here now, you are grateful for that. 
You throw your backpack on the ground and sit down, leaning your back against the wall, you pull your knees up to your chest, still biting back a sob as tears begin to fall down your cheeks. You are supposed to meet up with Heather and Chrissy at the library but you don’t feel like going back in there and quite frankly, you don’t want to see the pitiful looks in their eyes. 
You lean your elbows on your knees and cup your cheeks as you stare into blank space. 
You don’t understand, how can he be with her after not even a week? 
Was he with her all this time already?
Did he cheat on you? He must have.
The smell of smoke fills the air and the sound of footsteps follow but you don’t bother looking up, hoping that it’s just some random student. Luck isn’t on your side though, it never is. 
You see his boots first, glancing up a little, you see the denim jacket and smell his cologne. The usual eye roll that he would get from you is missing. He doesn’t say anything, instead he blows smoke into the air and sits down next to you. 
You sniffle quietly, hiding your face by looking down. 
“Do you want me to kick his ass?” Billy asks, “cause you know I will.” 
You shake your head. 
He sighs, placing the cigarette between his lips, he turns his head to look at you. Tears roll down your cheeks, the wind blows through your hair, exposing your face a little. You are quiet as you let yourself cry, in front of him. You never thought that you would ever cry in front of Billy, out of all people but right now, you couldn't care less.
“You know, I always thought you were too good for him.” 
You want to scoff and roll your eyes but you don’t have the energy to, not today. 
“That’s bullshit,” you mumble. You know what type of man Billy is, he is just like Steve– if not worse. 
“No, it’s not,” he chuckles, “I might not be the guy you want to hear this from but you deserve better than fucking King Steve. There’s plenty of other guys for a pretty girl like you.”
“That’s not helping,” you mumble. Raising your head to look at him, you expect him to stare at you with a smirk on his face or amusement in his eyes but you find neither. His face is straight, his eyes are filled with– you don’t know what his eyes are filled with, he is hard to read. You don’t see any pity and that’s good enough for you. 
He shrugs and continues to smoke his cigarette. 
You turn away from him again and lean your head against the wall. You look up at the sky and watch the clouds move. 
“I saw them together two weeks ago.” 
You look back at him, watching him through your blurry vision, “w-where?” 
He takes his last drag of the cigarette before he throws it on the ground, he blows the smoke out into the air and turns back to you. 
“At the diner, they were in his car and,” he pauses when he sees the fresh tears in your eyes. 
“And?” You ask. 
Your heart is racing, fear settles in the pit of your stomach. Does it even matter anymore, what he did with her? He left you for her already, it shouldn’t matter anymore but it does. 
He blinks, looking away, he feels a sense of pity for you. Billy doesn’t know what it’s like to get his heart broken this way but he knows what it’s like to be left. 
“They kissed.”
Despite everything that happened, despite the things he told you already. These words still feel like a stab to your heart. Your eyes drop, your shoulders slump and a heavy sigh falls from your lips. 
“Oh..” 
Two weeks ago. He called you after he went to the diner to ‘study’ with her to say goodnight the way he always did but that night was the first time he hung up without saying I love you.
You want to run again. You blink rapidly, wanting the tears to be gone. You get up and grab your stuff, ignoring the weight of his eyes on you. You want to run and get away from everything including yourself.
“Where are you going?” 
You shrug. 
Where are you going? You don't know where you should go.
Billy gets up as well, reaching for your wrist to keep you from running away. You look down at his hand before you look up and into his eyes with a frown on your face. He holds his car keys up, “wanna get out of here?” 
Billy is not someone you want to spend the day with but Steve is now the last person you want to see. You are desperate to get away and you would leave with just about anyone if that means that it will keep you away from him and her.
“Okay.” 
-
Who could’ve ever prepared you for such pain? Absolutely no one– not the many heartbreaking books you’ve read, not the relationships you have watched falling apart, not even your mother’s heartbreak when your father left could have prepared you for the pain that you have been going through since he left you. It should be getting better by now, right? But it doesn’t, if anything, it keeps getting worse and worse. 
Everywhere you go, you see him, everywhere you look, you get reminded of him, memories follow you every way you turn to. He cursed you with love, pain and heartbreak and you despise him for it, you despise the way he shattered your fragile little heart, the way he broke every promise he ever made, the way he never loved you when he told you he did. 
‘I-I’m not even sure if I ever loved you, y/n. I wouldn’t have fallen for her if I did love you, right?’ Those words haunt you, they haunt you day and night, when you wake up in the bed you used to sleep with him in, when you get ready in the bathroom, staring at your reflection, thinking about a time when he would come up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist, when you walk down the stairs only to think about all the times he would walk through the front door with freshly picked flowers, your favorite ones. Those words haunt you at school, when every place you turn to is nothing but a reminder of him, when you see him with her. They even haunt you in your sleep and there is nothing you can do about it. 
Curious and confused glances were thrown your and Steve’s way after the breakup, whispers in the locker rooms, bathrooms and hallways– you heard them all. You weren’t the only one shocked about Steve’s actions, everyone else was too. 
A month of torture had passed and you know that it’s far from over. No matter what you do, no matter who you are with, you can’t stop thinking about him, you can’t stop hurting, you can’t stop crying every time you think of him, you can’t stop tearing up every time you see him. This morning you had walked in on them kissing in the bathroom, her back was pressed against the wall, his hands were on her waist, he was kissing her hungrily. Neither of them saw you, you left just as quick as you came. It ruined your day before it even started. 
Will this ever end? This pain, this heartbreak? 
Your knees are pulled to your chest, your eyes are closed, your chin resting on your knees. You should be at cheer practice, instead you are crying your eyes out on the cold bathroom floor. 
The door opens and two different voices fill the silence in the bathroom, ones you instantly recognize. 
“I just don’t get why you’re so mad–”
“You promised that we’d leave together but you just ditched me because you wanted to lose your stupid virginity to King Steve, who’s by the way, a huge asshole,” Barb grumbles, “I bet it wasn’t even worth it.”
“I-It was! And he’s not an asshole!” You hear Nancy exclaim, “he’s sweet a-and it was.. nice. And it’s not like something happened to you, you got home safe, didn’t you?” 
Your eyes snap open, you place your hand over your lips. Your heart leaps to your throat and your stomach clenches uncomfortably. 
So he didn’t sleep with her while he was still with you. It does little to comfort you, it still makes you feel sick to know that he is with her, that he is so happy while you still cry yourself to sleep every night. 
Does he hold her afterwards? He never held you after you had sex– maybe once or twice on nights where you had felt sad, he traced your skin, drawing stars around the scars that only he got to see. Does he kiss her afterwards? He never kissed you, most of the time he only pecked your forehead and then he would turn away from you. Does he fall asleep afterwards or does he actually bother to take care of her the way he never took care of you? 
“Right,” Barb scoffs, “well, don’t be surprised when he leaves you for another virgin.”
Virgin. Is that what he wanted? Another virgin, another notch on his belt? A new thing to brag about? 
“Why are you so mean?” Nancy mumbles. 
“I’m not mean, I’m just telling the truth, he seems to be moving on quickly– he was just dating y/n and now he’s with you, like he wasn’t in a long term relationship.” 
You hear Nancy shuffling around the bathroom, placing her bag on the floor, followed by a loud sigh. 
“I mean, it wasn’t love.” 
You raise your eyebrows and clench your jaw. Anger fills you and pain tugs at your heart. You know it wasn’t love for him but it still hurts you to hear those words. Does he talk to her about you? Does he laugh about what he once knew love to be now that he has her, the girl he actually loves? 
“It wasn’t love?” Barb asks, laughing at her friend's words, “I don’t know about you but they seemed pretty in love to me.” 
“Well, he wasn’t in love with her– I mean, he dated her because that was expected of him, right? She’s the popular cheerleader, the pretty rich girl,” she says mockingly, “those have nothing in their brains and they’re pretty boring too so.. It was all just for show, I-I mean, do you really think he wanted her for her? I’m pretty sure that she’s already onto the next guy anyway, girls like her are–”
“Whoa that’s mean, Nance.” 
Yeah, these words are mean for someone who looks so sweet and innocent. You don’t know whether to laugh or to walk out and slam her stupid face into the mirror. You have been holding yourself back from confrontations, not wanting to reveal how hurt and angry you really are about the breakup and about her stealing from you. 
“It’s the truth! Steve told me that Billy Hargrove was after her since he moved here this summer.”
“What does that have to do with her being ‘easy’? He’s after her? So? Half of the school would die for a chance with her, that doesn’t make her easy, it’s not like she’s after them– besides, even if she was, she’s single and free to do whatever she wants. She wasn’t the one who went after other people while she was still in a relationship unlike your boyfriend. The only easy one here is Steve– seriously, stop being so mean, you got what you wanted, what else do you want?” 
That’s what you ask yourself as well, what else does she want?
You push yourself up and smooth down your skirt but before you can leave the stall and make your presence known to them, their footsteps echo through the bathroom, the door opens and they leave without realizing that you were there. 
Sighing, you slump against the wall and look up at the ceiling. You never really cared about Nancy Wheeler, you never had anything to do with her. You didn’t mind her, not even when you saw the way she looked at Steve while he was still yours, her big and innocent eyes trained on the King. She always batted her eyelashes at him, giggled at his stupid jokes and it drove him crazy, he loved it, the attention he got from another girl. She wasn’t the first one who looked at him that way, who touched his arm and giggled at his jokes but she was the first one who managed to steal his attention away from you. 
She was the first one who made him doubt his feelings for you. 
And he let it all happen and it angers you because you feel like a fool for loving him despite the things he put you through. He will never be yours again and you will never be his again, you know it and yet it’s still such a hard thing to grasp. It’s only been a few weeks without him, yet it feels like a lifetime.
You know you have to let him go. 
You kept holding onto him, hoping that he would come back because you thought you knew that he would come back but he won’t and he never will. He looks happy with her, happier than he ever looked with you and no matter how much it hurts, you let him go and you get rid of every part of him that you kept holding onto.
The sweater that he left behind in your bedroom, the collection of polaroids in the shoebox under your bed. The necklace he gave you on your sixteenth birthday. The bottle of cologne that he left on your dresser. The ring he put on your finger– a promise ring. You throw it all away, not letting the memories get to you this time. You push them all out, you force them all out of your mind. 
You let him go. 
-
Steve Harrington stopped existing in your life. Days and weeks have passed since the day he left you and it’s as though he became a ghost in your life. You stopped looking at him, you stopped acknowledging his presence– whenever you walk past him in the hallways, you pretend to not see him, when you’re in the same class, you never spare a single glance at him, not even when you have to walk past him to get to your seat, when you’re both at basketball games and you have to cheer him and his team on, you look at everyone but at him and it bothers him. It bothers him to see you acting like he doesn’t exist to you, like he’s not even there, like he’s invisible. 
He doesn’t understand what the feeling in his chest is every time he sees you– odd. It feels odd to see you walk past him without stopping by his locker to steal a kiss– he did this, he caused this. He didn’t want you anymore. He wanted her and now he has her but why does he feel like the worst person alive? Why does he feel so unhappy when he finally has what he wants? 
“Steve?” 
You stop in front of your locker, opening it, you look at yourself in the tiny mirror you put into your locker– you look beautiful, the way you always do. Your hair is pulled into a loose ponytail, you’ve got your cheer uniform on like always, a cardigan that looks way too big on you hangs loosely on your form, it reminds him of the way his big sweaters would look on you. 
He wonders if you still think about him. He wonders if you still hate him for what he did to you almost two months back. He wonders if you would curse him out if he came over to talk. He wonders if–
“Steve!” 
Nancy tugs on his hand and says his name a little louder, pulling him out of his thoughts and forcing him to tear his eyes away from you. He blinks, furrowing his brows as he looks down at her. 
“Yeah, what is it?” 
“Are you… okay?” She asks, giving him a small smile. 
“Yeah,” he mumbles as he looks back at you again, “yeah, I’m okay.” 
“What are you doing tonight?” Nancy asks.
He shrugs, “I don’t know, I thought we could watch a movie or something.”
“Oh uh, about that,” Nancy starts, looking around, she doesn’t even notice the way he looks at you, “I have this thing–”
Steve frowns, though it’s not because of his girlfriend’s words but because of the man approaching you. 
“Thing?” Steve mumbles. 
“Yeah, I’m working on this project with Jonathan and we gotta get it done before christmas break, so..” 
“Oh, yeah that’s fine,” Steve says without really thinking about her words. His attention is elsewhere. 
Billy Hargrove. 
Steve had always hated him. He moved here this summer and left an amazing impression the first time he met him. Billy had set his eyes on you the moment he stepped into Hawkins. 
Every party you and Steve had gone to together, ended with you arguing because of Billy Hargrove– well more so because of himself and his jealousy, because he couldn’t contain it, because he was too insecure, because he saw the way he looked at you, like he knew that he would get you eventually, like he knew that he would get you to leave him. 
Maybe that’s where it all went wrong.
Maybe his insecurities got the best of him. 
Maybe things would have been different if he wasn’t so jealous all the time. 
“Hey uh– I’m meeting Barb at the library, I gotta go,” Nancy says before she grabs his chin and pulls him in for a short kiss. 
Steve forces a smile onto his face and pecks her lips once more before he lets her go. He watches her leave and waves at her when she turns around to flash him another smile. When she is gone, he turns back to you. 
Billy’s hand is resting on the locker next to yours, the usual smirk on his face is wide as he eyes you up and down. You don’t seem too happy about his presence though, rolling your eyes at whatever he is saying to you. Billy leans even closer to you and you don’t hesitate to push him away from you, you sigh, he can tell by the way your lips part and the way your chest rises. You press your fingertips against his chest to keep him away from you, saying something to him that Steve can’t make out from afar before you turn around and leave. Billy doesn’t even look fazed, if anything, he smirks even more and tilts his head, licking his lips as he stares at your legs. 
Steve rolls his eyes, still hating the way Billy looks at you. He shuts his locker and walks into the same direction you walked to. It’s the last class of the day, the one he shares with you; English class. 
You are already in your seat when Steve walks into the classroom. The seat next to yours is empty, it still is ever since he moved. You are looking down at your notebook, a pencil tugged between your lips as your other hand is propped against your cheek. He looks away and makes his way over to his new usual seat when he realizes that it’s already taken by Tommy Hagan who looks at him with a smirk on his face. His girlfriend, Carol is chewing her gum obnoxiously as she sports the same smirk as her boyfriend. Steve clenches his jaw in anger, irritation sparks inside of him. 
These two have been making his school days more unbearable than before ever since his fallout with Tommy. 
“There’s a free seat,” Carol smirks as she points to the seat next to yours, “the queen looks pretty lonely without her king, don’t you think?” 
Tommy chuckles, “yeah, don’t worry we won’t tell your mistress.” 
Steve scoffs at their words, rolling his eyes, he looks around the classroom. The seat next to yours is indeed the only free one. Fuck. He shakes his head and turns away, begrudgingly making his way over to his old seat. He glances at you when he throws his books on the table. 
You don’t acknowledge his presence but you freeze when he sits down next to you. You pause what you are doing, clenching your hand into a fist and taking deep breaths. Steve notices it all– he wonders if you are angry or nervous. 
He leans back in his seat and turns around to look at his old friends who are already giggling. He glares at them and turns back around, hoping that this lesson will go by quickly. 
He tries to keep his eyes off of you but he keeps glancing at you every few seconds or so. He notices something, it’s a small detail but he notices it, the eyeshadow on your eyelids has been replaced by black eyeliner, that must make your eyes look brighter– if you just looked at him, he would know. 
His mom asks about you all the time, he felt bad when he had to tell her that he broke up with you, he felt even worse when he had to tell her about his new girlfriend. She wasn’t too excited to meet her. His mom adores you. He doesn’t remember the last time she saw you. He doesn’t even remember the last time he saw you out of school. You started skipping cheer practice, you stopped coming to games even though it is your job to do so as the cheer captain, you have slowly started to give that title over to your friend, Chrissy. Some days you even came to school with your regular clothes, ditching the cheer outfit for a pair of jeans and a sweater. 
He wonders how you are feeling. 
He wonders what you do in your free time now. 
He wonders if you still listen to the same music. 
He wonders if–
“You’ll be working on this assignment in pairs.”
“Do we get to choose our partner?” Carol asks with a smirk on her face. 
Panic fills Steve’s chest when he stares at the teacher. He missed the whole class because he was staring at you.
“No,” Mrs. Jones says with a straight face, “not after the last time. You work with your seat partner. You got a little over a week, so–” she pauses as she takes a look at the calendar on her wall, “you will get to finish it just in time before Christmas break.” 
Steve drowns out the rest of her words, he swallows nervously as he looks over at you. His palms get sweaty and his heart begins to race in his chest. 
You are not giving any reactions, you pretend to be unbothered by this whole situation. When the bell rings and everyone gets up to leave the classroom, you get up and gather your books. 
Steve runs his hand through his hair and looks around before his eyes find you again. He speaks your name with uncertainty in his voice. 
“Don’t bother, Harrington. I’ll write the assignment myself, not that you’d be much of a help anyways,” you mumble, coldly. 
This is the first time you have said anything to him in weeks, you didn’t even bother to look at him. You didn’t even bother to wait for him to say something. You turned around and left without sparing a single glance. 
“Y/n!” He calls out to you but you are already gone. 
Sighing, he slumps back into his seat, not caring about the many eyes on him. 
“Aw,” Carol coos with a smug look on her face, “cute, the lovers will reunite again. Isn’t that how you met Nancy?” 
Tommy chuckles, throwing his arm around his girlfriend’s shoulder, he looks down at Steve, “yeah,” he nods, “don’t think that King Steve will get his queen back though,” he chuckles. 
Carol’s eyes flash with amusement, “right, last time I checked she was screwing around with Billy,” she says. Giggling when she sees the shocked look on Steve’s face, “oops, you didn’t know?” 
She pouts at him, “guess your fear was valid after all, I mean that’s what you were always afraid of, right? That he would steal your girl?” 
Steve swallows harshly, he feels like he has been punched. You are sleeping with Billy? The guy you always told him not to worry about? The guy that caused all his jealousy?
“Don’t worry, Steve,” Tommy laughs, “it’s just sex, damaged girls like her just wanna be fucked," he says before he turns around with a chuckle, he and Carol leave before Steve gets to say anything back.
A bitter taste lays on his tongue, he leans back in his seat, staring down at the hair tie around his wrist.
He can't believe it, he can't believe you.
-
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leonw4nter · 2 months
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Through Thick and Thin, Always and Forever
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Husband!Damnation!Leon x F!Reader
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No one is spared from that stupid blond baby and his arrows, not even two seasoned agents who are were certain that their hearts would never learn to feel something other than guilt, fear, and hopelessness.
After 5 years of dating and now 17 years married, your marriage with him has faced its ups and downs but you two always managed to make amends and continue on smoothly. Lately, it’s been more of a down: minimal talking, less intimacy, and Leon in worse moods. After a particularly big fight regarding his alcohol consumption and the distance he’s been keeping from you, you two refused to talk to each other. The most you two did in interaction with each other is telling each other “good night” before turning to the other side of the bed, backs turned and “good morning” without meeting gazes. Although things between you too are a little cold and tense, you two still held respect for each other and didn’t do anything that meant to harm the other.
You got up earlier than Leon, your husband still sleeping soundly from his side of the bed; eyes still shut, strands of dark hair that fell over his forehead with his arms crossed and small snores leaving slightly chapped lips. You drank in the vulnerable sight of him, sighing and wistfully hoping that things would go back to normal between you two again. After fixing your side of the bed, you head over to the kitchen to start on breakfast. Taking out the left-overs from last night’s takeout from the fridge, you take a pan and add a small amount of oil before putting it on the stove. You decided to opt for reheating using a pan and stove instead of the readily available microwave since you were feeling a little more diligent than usual. While cooking, you realize that the non-stick coating of the pan you’re using is peeling away. There’s some bits of food sticking to the part of the pan that is bare, those bits burning up. The handle is also a lot more loose, the pan being older than 4 years. I’m going to have to look for a new pan I guess, you think to yourself. After a few more minutes of reheating, you plate the food and place them on the dining table.
“G’morning.”
“God you scared me.” You reply with a small jolt of electricity flowing through your body. You place the plates down, Leon getting up to help you with the others. Instantly, your day gets better now that Leon is doing things like these but you don’t push your luck, knowing that Leon is still a helpful guy no matter what and this could be him being friendly but still upset at you.
He waits for you to take a seat before he takes his, scooping some food onto his plate before he takes a bite. You two have breakfast in silence, him reading some article on his phone while you go looking through Amazon for new non-stick pans. Unfortunately for you, you don’t find any pan that looks good so you put your phone down with a small sigh. Breakfast ends silently with Leon doing the dishes and you sweeping around the house. This time, Leon is speaking up more but he’s still closed off but you’re happy that he’s begun to be a lot warmer to you. You thought about going out to buy the pan but your laziness said no, causing you to opt to stay inside and be curled up with a good book.
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I should’ve bought that damn pan yesterday.
Unfortunately for you, your period started today which meant cramps that you swore was just your uterus doing crazy acrobatics. Of course you were extra cranky, all your emotions upped a notch by a hundred but a tiny part of you was thankful for this because Leon began to warm up more. Just this morning, he offered to change the sheets and wash the old one when you bled into it; it’s as if you two had never fought days prior but you aren’t complaining. Now, you are curled up and buried beneath the sheets while clutching at your lower abdomen while waiting for Leon to come back home. You had sent him on an errand to go get you cheese fries and boba tea which should only take him 15 minutes max but he took a little longer than that. You poke your arm out of the sheets, feeling around for your phone before you finally feel it and drag your arm back inside the sheets. You look for Leon’s number, phoning him to hurry up and get home because you needed his company more than anything.
“Leooonn…” You weakly groan.
“Hm? Yes, sweetheart?” He asks on the other end of the line.
“Got me my food?” You quietly ask.
“Yeah. I’m on my way home, just stuck in traffic. I promise I’ll get there soon baby, hang on,” He responds.
“Okay… I’ll hang up now, the screen is giving me a migraine.”
You press the ‘end call’ button, groaning even louder now that you feel a migraine incoming. Can this day get worse?
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Leon finally arrives home with the fries and boba tea but he makes you drink water and take Advil before you have your snacks, hoping to alleviate the migraine you have going on. He also got a heating pad to help with cramps and offered to give you leg massages since your cramps caused spasms in your thighs as well. After giving you messages and looking after you, he slipped out of the bedroom to go show you something. He comes back with a pan, a non-stick one too.
“Baby is that…” You softly whisper, vision getting blurry with the tears in your eyes.
“Yeah. I saw you going through pans on Amazon so I thought I’d pick one up for you instead,” He explains. He goes on to explain his shopping process, going through the nitty gritty of the features of the cookware.
“The salesman told me that it’s made of stone too so it doesn’t retain strong odors like fish and is oven-safe. You’ll have crispy edges and browned crusts too– honey, are you crying?”
You take a big gulp of the boba before setting it down, wiping your tears with the sleeve of your sweater. Hormones were everywhere, your emotions are a mess, you’re going to be bleeding for the next 5 days and here is your husband: an absolute sweetheart, the only man there is for you. You walk over to him and wrap your arms around his neck, hugging him tight while trying to keep the tears down.
“Thanks, honey. I appreciate it. A lot. Tons, even.” You softly mumble. He brings a hand to the small of your back, giving you small pats as well. You feel a content rumble from his chest, smiling because you know that your fight is now a thing of the past.
“Anything for my girl,” he responds. “Name it and I’ll get it for you.”
“What if I want cuddles right now?” “Your wish is my command,” he agrees. With a pleased smile, he wraps you in a fuzzy blanket before laying at your side and hugging you like you’re a teddy bear. Well, he’s your teddy bear but today you don’t mind having the roles reversed.
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NOTE - Today's fic is a little short because I am (1) tired and (2) not having a nice time rn!!! Yeyy!!! It's Valentine's Day today (as of writing) and not to sound like a salty person but everyone getting gifts from either their partner or friends made me feel a lot more alone 😭😭 Like a relationship is not what I'm looking for right now but it won't hurt to yk- receive something, even if it's just chocolate or candy. Anyways, I hope your Valentine's Day went great and if you confessed then I hope your feelings were reciprocated and if not then it's not the end of the world yk, you'll find the right one in the right time <3 Tysmm for reading my fics and I <3333 UUUUUUU (also this fic is inspired by that one reddit story)
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sheeple · 2 months
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Heirs of Hogwarts | part 2
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Genre(s): Nuisance to Lovers / Fake dating / Fluff / No Voldy au Fandom(s): Harry Potter Pairing(s): Mattheo Riddle x Hufflepuff!Reader Summary: After finding out your (now ex)boyfriend cheated on you with the girl he told you not to worry about, you decide to get into a fake relationship with the kid of another founder of Hogwarts. What could go wrong? Warning(s): Mattheo being Mattheo / Matt beats up a bitch A/n: I COULDN'T WAIT TO FINISH WRITING CHAPTER 3 SO HERE IT ISSSSS. ALSOO... Kinda overwhelmed with all the positive feedback I've got on the first part. I hope this one is what you imagined it to be c: (not me having imposter syndrome) [Masterlist] [part 1] [part 3]
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Mattheo wasn't raised with an abundance of love. He was never abused, no, but there wasn't much familiar love between him and his parents and his older brother. Something about ancient wizarding standards or whatever.
That's why when he entered his first year at Hogwarts, something ugly festered within the boy when he saw you. You, another descendant of a founding member of Hogwarts, born into a family so full of love that it made you shine brighter than the sun herself. 
Mattheo was jealous of the way your brothers welcomed you into Hufflepuff house, a proud smile on their faces. The way they hugged you and Professor Sproud beamed with pride to have another descendant of Helga Hufflepuff under her care. All Mattheo got was a stiff nod from Thomas and a sneer to not bother him. 
It was not until the first class the Slytherins had with the Hufflepuffs that he decided that from that day onwards he despises you. The way the yellow of your cloak makes your skin radiate. The way you tie your hair with ribbons. The way that over the years, you've grown more beautiful than Aphrodite herself.
He also hates that now in sixth year, he has to be your partner for Herbology. You, who despite your heritage, hate Herbology. It makes Mattheo hate you even more because now you are not the perfect Hufflepuff princess everybody imagines you to be. Now you are human.
"If you keep staring at her like that, she might combust in flames", muses Thomas while he doesn't look up from his book. It gets the attention of other boys around them and they all look at the person Mattheo's staring at.
"Really?", scoffs Draco, his eyes flickering over your back, "Princess Perfect over there?"
Something boils from within Mattheo as his friends' eyes trail over your body. He clenches his jaw as he abuses the shepherd's pie on his plate. 
The staring doesn't go unnoticed as one of your friends points it out and you turn towards the Slytherin table. Your eyes meet those of Mattheo and you give him a small but awkward smile before turning back, your shoulders slumping under the eyes.
It's not often that Mattheo hates himself. But right now he could kick himself to put the attention on you. "Why would I care about some prissy Hufflepuff?", he grumbles.
Blaise gives him an unimpressed look. "Don't act like you haven't had the biggest crush on the girl since first year. It's getting pathetic, Mattheo. Just go ask her out."
The others around share looks and grins. It pisses Mattheo off. Especially now that his brother's attention is fully on him. Can't they mind their own damn business?
"You're forgetting one thing, idiots."
That is another thing he hates about you. The boy next to you whose sleazy arm is resting on your shoulders. Piece of shit quidditch player and an even worse human being with wandering eyes. Even now, with you sitting so prettily next to him, he dares to make goo-goo eyes with a Gryffindor girl.
Gods it makes Mattheo crazy how you can choose him over any other dickhead at this school. That sleazeball over him.
But when he found you that night alone and moping over your now ex-boyfriend, a small spark of hope lit up inside him. And he took that spark to satisfy his own desires.
And now here you are, sitting in front of each other at the Three Broom Sticks, butterbeer in hand. You nervously trace the rim of the glass while Mattheo observes you. He wants to say something, but you beat him to it.
"So... what are the boundaries of this agreement?"
Mattheo lets out a huff of air. "Whatever you're comfortable with, princess."
Great. That gives you absolutely nothing. "Are you okay with... handholding? Or something similar?"
"Sure. I don't mind. What are your thoughts on nicknames?"
"As long as it's not Pookie. What should I call you? Nicknames are mutual." You send him a teasing eyebrow raise.
Mattheo rolls his eyes playful. "I couldn't care less. Also, to make it believable we should be seen together in school, you know. Otherwise, people won't believe it's real."
To be honest you have no qualms with that. You kinda expected it.
As the negotiations come to a close, the two of you decide to walk around Hogsmeade and get to know each other a little better as you will be seeing a lot of him.
Mattheo practically tackles you as you want to pay, stating that if it was a real date, he wouldn't let his lady pay for anything.
The stroll through Hogsmeade is filled with small talk, asking each other questions about preferences and other small tidbits as you pass by shops. That's how you discover that he's pretty good at Transfiguration and that Madam Pomfrey always gives him candies when he lands in the infirmary again after a Quidditch game.
While Mattheo tells a story about him, Draco and Theodore wrestling for the last apple lollypop Madam Pomfrey had, you round a corner and spot Malcolm walking your way. His hand is in Gladys' but he doesn't pay any attention to her yapping.
"Shit", you curse, ducking behind the wall. Mattheo looks at you with an amused look on his face as you pull him away from the main street by his wrist. "It's him."
The dark-haired boy glances around the corner, his eyes focusing on the sad sack of screechsnaps. The audacity of the guy makes his blood boil. Mattheo turns back towards you. "Do you trust me?"
You hesitate for a moment, your eyes flickering over his face. "My mom always said you shouldn't trust pretty brown eyes", you muse, not knowing how to take his question.
"So you think my eyes are pretty?", he asks, leaning close to you. 
His sudden closeness makes you stutter and stumble over your words, the heat rising towards your cheeks. "I- no... what-?"
Mattheo lets out a lach. A genuine one at your confusion. He holds out his hand, palm up, and looks at you expectantly. You lay your hand in his own slowly. At that moment, the two of you realise how big his hand is compared to yours. How — when he laces your fingers together — his hand engulfs your own.
Mattheo pulls you closer, slinging his arm over your shoulder while still holding onto your hand. He pulls the two of you out of the alley and whispers to you that you should laugh like he said something funny.
You can do that. You faked all the time while being with Malcolm, how hard is a laugh? A laugh bubbles from you and you look up at Mattheo. 
While you walk, Mattheo angles the two of you so that when you pass your ex, their shoulders bump against each other. The four of you stop and you make eye contact with him.
"(Y/n)", he says surprised, his eyes going from you to Mattheo — who still has his arm wrapped around you.
"Malcolm", you reply icy, clutching on tightly to Mattheo's hand before glancing towards the girl next to him. "Gladys. How... nice to see you."
Gladys gives you a sickly sweet smile that doesn't reach her eyes. "We didn't expect to meet you here. Especially not with... someone." She looks at Mattheo, who pulls you closer towards him.
"Yeah, we quite hit it off during Herbology so we thought why not try it, you know, now she's finally single. Thanks for that, mate." Mattheo cocks his head to the side, silently daring Malcolm. 
But Malcolm's wide eyes are laser-focused on you. "Herbology?", he asks, his voice wavering.
"Oh yeah", you nod with a smile, "that Fluxweed report really brought us together, you know. You were right, Malcolm, I just needed to find something I would enjoy about the subject." You bite your tongue to not burst out laughing as you throw his earlier statement back into this face.
Malcolm's face sours and he tugs Gladys' hand before walking away without saying anything. When they're out of earshot, the two of you can't help but laugh. 
"Merlin", you chuckle, "he really is pathetic, isn't he?"
Mattheo pulls you towards the opposite direction, his arm still around your shoulders. And weirdly... you don't mind it. He's nice and warm- ew that makes you sound weird. But as the day progresses and the shadows elongate, a shiver rolls down your spine.
Mattheo stops in his steps as the two of you walk back towards the castle. He shrugs off his jacket and holds it open for you to put your hands through the sleeves.
You protest. "I can't take your jacket, don't be silly." Walking past him, he stops you with a hand around your wrist.
"You're not taking it, I'm offering. So don't protest and take the damn jacket." He raises his brows in a silent way to tell you to not challenge him because he will strangle his jacket onto you if he has to.
With your cheeks feeling hot, you reluctantly slide your arms through the sleeves. As you play with the hem of the dark green jacket — which by the way smells like pine and smoke — you turn towards him. "Aren't you cold?", you question as he's only in a black shirt now.
Mattheo shakes his head, running a hand through his curls. "I run hot. Kinda brought the jacket in the hopes to give it to you."
You give him a teasing smile at his confession. "Do you now?"
"I wasn't raised with a lot of good, but at least my aunt instilled some decency into me." He reaches out and grabs his pack of smokes out of a pocket. He lights one and offers it to you. You shake your head and he shrugs. 
The rest of the walk back towards the castle is spent in comfortable silence. You totally expect him to wave you goodbye when you enter through the thick wooden doors of the entrance hall, but he keeps on walking with you until you reach your common room.
He has his hands in his pockets as he watches you anxiously scratch at your fingers.
"I've had a lot of fun. Even if it was supposed to be fake. Thank you, Mattheo-"
"Matt."
You blink in confusion at his sudden word vomit. Mattheo himself seems embarrassed. "The whole nickname thing we talked about? You may call me Matt. If you like..."
A wide smile grows on your face. Standing up to your tippy toes, you lay a hand on his shoulder and press a feather-light kiss against his cheek. "Thank you, Matt. Have a nice evening."
Feeling like the butterflies in your stomach may burst out of their confinement, you quickly hurry through the barrel but remember that you're still wearing his jacket. When you turn around, you are met with an empty corridor.
Not knowing that the moment you turned around Mattheo Riddle — Heir of Slytherin and all around Hogwartsbad boy — practically sprinted towards the dungeons with his cheeks flaming hot.
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It has been a couple of days since your 'date'. Because you've practically announced to the entirety of Hogwarts that the two of you are dating, you spend a lot more time together. At first, it was spent studying together. But slowly you two started to talk to each other more and more. About life and family and expectations.
Turns out the two of you aren't that different.
Hannah and Susan give you smug smiles every time Mattheo walks over towards you or when the two of you are seen together. 
A paper crane lands on top of your open book and you look up from your notes. Mattheo — who's seated on the other side of the classroom — nods towards it and motions for you to unfold it.
You pout and shake your head, mouthing 'too adorable' towards him. He rolls his eyes playfully with a smile and flicks his wand, making the crane unfold on itself. Sending a disapproving look, you read the note.
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You look over towards him and he does his best puppy eyes. Curse Mattheo Riddle and his beautiful brown eyes. Pursing your lips, you pretend to think about it, being quite dramatic about it. You look up at the ceiling with your brows knitted together while tapping your chin with your finger. But eventually, you drop the act and give him an enthusiastic nod.
Hannah, who has been following the interaction like a tennis match, snorts and almost draws the attention of the teacher towards you both. You hit her shoulder and quickly turn back towards your notes, ignoring the teasing grin on Mattheo's face.
"Shut up", you whisper towards her.
She leans closer to you. "Since when are you and Riddle close enough to hang out?"
Narrowing your eyes at her. "We're supposedly dating, remember?"
You almost don't want to admit it, but the classes can't pass by any quicker. You hardly pay attention in divination and muggle studies, way too excited for your date- wait... is it a date? No. It's just a hangout. Nothing more. 
"Have fun with your date", teases Hannah once the final class of the morning is finished and you flip her off as you walk the opposite way.
As you round the corner, you bump against something and stumble slightly back. "Oh sorry", you mumble, finding your footing before looking up. "Oh...", escapes your mouth as you see it's Malcolm.
You move to pass by him but he grabs your shoulders. "I want to talk to you. I miss you..."
Pushing his hands away, you let out a scoff. He's sinking to a lower level than you thought possible. "Miss me? Miss me? What am I? Your mother?" You go to walk again but this time Malcolm's hold becomes stronger. He manoeuvres you towards an empty hallway. He presses you against the wall and you let out an 'oomph'.
"Is he forcing you to act like this? Did he put a curse on you? Are you imperio'd?" He reaches out to touch your cheeks, to check your eyes.
You harshly pull your face out of his hold. "Are you out of your mind?! Let me go!", you protest, trying to wiggle yourself out of his hold. "Mattheo did nothing to me."
He shakes his head, his fists tightening around your robes. "You're such a- a- slut! Opening your legs for any guy who gives you attention."
What the actual fuck! How dare he suggest such a thing?! You reel your head back and spit in his face. It hits him in his eyes and he flinches, stumbling a couple of steps back and wiping at his eyes.
"You bitch!", he wails. Raising his fist, he advances towards you and your hand reaches for your wand. But something comes flying from the side and knocks him off his feet.
Mattheo stands above him, pinning him to the floor and punching him in the face. You're glued to the spot and you can't help but watch how Mattheo beats the living daylights out of him.
Blood runs down his nose and his knuckles are cracked, but Mattheo enjoys beating your ex down to a whimpering mess. He can finally channel his pent-up frustration into something productive. And he won't deny that he didn't want to knock the teeth out of the prick's mouth.
Afraid that someone will spot the fight, you try to pry off Mattheo. You pull against his shoulder and make him lose the rhythm he was beating his fists down with. "Matt! Leave him! He's not worth getting in trouble for!"
Mattheo suddenly realises that you're here also and he gets off the snivelling boy on the ground, flexing and relaxing his hands. You grab one of them and pull him away from the crime scene. He needs to get fixed up, but where? One of the bathrooms is the possibility to be seen big. And you don't want unnecessary people asking questions. And you don't have any supplies in the bathroom.
You could manage to sneak him into your dorm. Most of your housemates are at lunch, so the common room should be empty.
Mattheo calls out your name, trying to make you stop but you shush him and keep on pulling him towards the barreled entrance. Once outside, you let go of his hand. "I'll check if the coast is clear and then I can fix you up."
Without waiting for an answer, you knock on the right barrel and the doors slide open. Glancing around the common room, you see nobody. Which is a surprising sight. Because the common room is so close to the kitchens, a lot of students opt to eat in their dorms. It's mostly the bullied students or the ones who don't want to deal with the Great Hall.
Waving him over, you pull Mattheo through the entrance and practically shove him up the stairs and into your dorm. He finally gets why you're bringing him to your dorm when you push him to sit on the closed lid of the toilet and fetch out a first-aid kit from under the sink.
"Do you bring a lot of boys towards your dorm?", asks Mattheo to break the silence as you search through the kit. He feels awkward sitting in your bathroom.
This isn't the first time that he is in another House's common room. He has sneaked into Gryfindor's loats and the parties at Ravenclaw are something you have to experience. But there was always something untouchable about the Hufflepuff area. It is a bragging right to have found out about the code to the entrance but an even bigger deal to be invited in.
And what he has seen so far makes him jealous. The Slytherin common room is always coated in a shade of greenish blue, thanks to the large windows looking into the lake. There is barely any warmth because of the ancient tiles of the dungeons. But here, everything is so warm, so welcome. Even with the only windows at the top, the common room is bright and comforting.
"Oh yeah, loads", you tease, "Especially non 'Puff ones." You give him a half-smile while pinching a cotton swap between your fingers. "Now… be still and this might sting." You dab against the cuts and wounds across his face, cleaning up the blood and disinfecting everything.
Mattheo isn't sure what to do with his hand. He's not sure if he can touch you, or pull you closer towards him while he wants to. He doesn't want to scare you away.
"Tell me a secret", you say softly, surprising yourself and him. When Mattheo gives you a raised eyebrow, you roll your eyes. "We're supposed to be dating, aren't we? Especially after you beat the shit out of my ex it's pretty solid for the students around us. And people who are dating know each other's secrets. So... tell me a secret."
There is an unreadable look on his face and you stop your ministrations, eyes locking with each other. "Did you know some of that piece of shit's secrets?", he muses with a small teasing smile on his face.
You huff. "Some..." Continuing, your movements are a little harsher than before. Because now that you think about it, you knew the bare minimum about Malcolm. It's also not like he let you get to know him. He didn't even come with you to Christmas at your home. And your family does a bomb-ass Christmas party each year. "I'll tell one if you tell one."
Mattheo seems to think for a moment, his focus on a spot over your shoulder as he filters through all his secrets and memories. "My family are Parselmouths."
Your mouth falls open and your hand stops in the air. "Like... like speaking to snakes? As in you hiss against snakes and they hiss back?" You eye him with amazement while his cheeks colour a bright red.
"I- it's not like that!" He tries to laugh away your question. "Parseltongue is more... yeah it's kinda like hissing", he admits, hanging his head a bit.
You wipe away the last of the blood and start to clean up. "Do snakes have accents? Or is it more of a universal language? And can everybody in your family do it?"
It's refreshing to Mattheo to find someone who isn't freaked out by his ability. He also finds your questions amusing. They are different. Fun. "I never noticed the accent thing. But I've only met one snake in real life, so I wouldn't know..."
"Can you say something?" You try your best to give him puppy eyes to convince him. But you've heard that you never were the best at it.
A laugh bubbles from within his chest. He looks at you through his lashes and clears his throat. His Adam's apple bops up and down as he swallows and his lips part. Out comes the strangest sound you ever heard. It's indeed a hissing sound, but at the same time his words — if you can call the noise he makes words — have a strange melody to them. It makes the hairs on your arms stand up straight.
"Wow", you whisper once he's done, "And what does it mean?"
"Well", laughs Mattheo, "That's a know for me and for you to figure out."
You chuckle, grabbing your wand to close the wounds, but he stops it. "Leave them be", he says, "It's proof of me beating his pathetic ass." He traces circles with his thumb atop your hand. "Now… what's your secret?"
You toss your head back with a silent laugh. "Fair. Fair. My family — for as long as we have known — are born Animagi. Every single child has been able to transform into a badger."
He raises his brows. "A badger? How fitting", he teases.
Rolling your eyes at his quip, you lean back against the sink with your hand still in his. You don't mind it, you even slightly enjoy it. The way the rough pad of his finger feels against your skin. "The whole Hufflepuff area kinda looks like a burrow. I get where Meemaw got the idea."
Mattheo lets out a sudden laugh. "Meemaw?" There is no ill content behind his laugh. It brings a smile of your own to your face.
"Helga Hufflepuff. She has a painting above the fireplace that's connected with one at home. Also above the fireplace", you laugh. But it slowly melts off your face as your words dawn upon you. 
Mattheo slowly starts to become concerned at the look on your face. Your heart races in your chest. How could you be so stupid? How could you have forgotten about Meemaw?
"The painting is connected with home! Oh fuck! She will snitch on me! And now Mom and Dad will think we're...-!"
"Think we're what? Sleeping together? Is that such a horrible idea?" Mattheo straightens his back and his eyes darken.
You shake your head, running a hand over your face. "That's not what I meant. I wouldn't mind it, but I don't want my parents to know that! Ew", you frown and a shudder runs through your body.
The boy before you stands up and closes the space between the two of you. "You wouldn't mind?", he muses with a teasing grin on his face. He turns your head with his knuckles so you're looking at him and traces your bottom lip slowly.
Your lips part as you look up at him through your lashes. Your breath quickens and you feel his chest pressed against you with each rise of your chest. His scent fills your senses and consumes you. It's overwhelming. It makes your stomach do flips.
You wonder if he feels the same.
Just as you slowly angle your face towards him and close your eyes, a knock on the door makes you jump. Mattheo stumbles back, almost crashing against the toilet and landing in the bathtub. 
"One- one moment!", you call out, quickly cleaning up the first-aid kit. Mattheo scrambles to straighten himself up before helping you. 
The two of you share a look before you open the door. Mattheo slips out and rushes out of your dorm and out of the common room.
"No way?!", gasps Susan, her mouth agape.
"Was that-?", asks Hannah with wide eyes.
Sending the two girls a look. "Not one word!"
The next morning at breakfast your panic turns out not misplaced as your family's house owl comes flying towards you with a sealed letter for you.
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Taglist (bold means I couldn't tag you): @mylosz0 @kermits-bitch @jolly4holly @daisiesformylove @frogtape @dancing-inasnowglobe @slytheos @undercover-smutlover @reverse-soe @nikkissecretlibrary @moon-struck-meraki @bengbengbengi @justhavingsomefun1 @itsamusical4lifee @genshingeeksworld @y0urm0m12
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hecateslore · 3 months
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💌
more of the passive aggressive man child bc I said so, also my requests are open so ask away!!!
You get up Friday morning drowsy as always. Making your coffee, getting ready and making your way to work. Sitting in the parking lot of your office building, your head resting on the steering wheel, you do your regular scheduled breathing exercises. Sometimes anxiety creeps up and says hello for a bit. It’s gloomy and It looks like it’s about to rain. 
On the other side of the parking lot Simon gets out of his car, gathering his belongings and heads towards the buildings from the door, checking the emails on his phone and not paying attention to the time on his phone. You lift your head and see Simon heading into the building, eyes narrowing at his large frame. “Guess I could go in.” you grab your bag from the passenger's seat, “but I don’t want to talk to anyone.” you whine aloud. 
-
Simon walked into the building turning all the lights on, checking every room, going over emails on his desktop, not realizing how early he was, which was a first. He went over the schedule, checked who was working the front and who was scheduled to work behind. 
He walked into the break room and got coffee started for himself and for whoever else wanted some. It was a quiet morning, he sat and watched the machine brew for 15 minutes, grabbed his mug, poured some for himself and took a packet of sugar. 
Linda, one of the older women was first to come in, Usually it was you Simon noticed. You’d always come in first and have your headphones on, sometimes with an adult coloring book, some new book you picked up, crossword puzzles, or you were finishing your makeup (If you wear makeup! If you don’t Ignore.) Simon noticed how quiet you were, very polite, but extremely quiet. Thursday you stayed late to finish the paperwork Simon had requested you fill out, you looked tired, it was only you and him. You had your headphones on of course, refusing to make conversation, you sat and typed away, got up to go to the bathroom and when the clock hit 6:45 you hit the door quicker than Simon could remember, making sure to say goodnight to the security guard out front. 
-
You walked into the front office saying hello and good morning to the two women at the front, you walked to the back and Simon sat on one of the desks conversing with the two older ladies that sat behind you. They were laughing and drinking coffee, chatter dying down as you sat and got yourself situated in your chair, you pulled out your airpods and you could hear someone's heavy footsteps behind you.
 Simon appears next to your desk and taps it, he then signals to his ears, “They’re not in.” you say which makes him nod, he began, “I just wanted you to know I appreciate you staying late yesterday.” the statement alone makes you cringe, he behaves as if he didn’t give you a fuck ton of work. “It’s no problem.” you try to wave off any conversation.
 “Make sure you put your headphones away.” he pats your shoulder and walks into his office, shutting the door behind him. You let out an annoyed grunt, and shove your headphones into your bag.  
Two hours into your shift, four emails from Simon telling you to remember to check your work. Also that you should start signing off on your emails, it’s super unprofessional if you don’t and he wouldn’t want to write you up for a silly little sign off! 
An hour before your lunch Simon walked around the office, monitoring your coworkers, Making small talk, you had a chance to slip your headphone out of your ear before Simon could notice. Before you knew it simon pulled up a chair beside you, asked what you were doing.
“Did you get my email?”  He sat with his arms crossed. “Yup.” you tapped away at your keyboard, “You missed the date,” he pointed at the screen. Causing a loud sigh to erupt from you. “How have you been lately ?”  he asks, watching your fingers move. “Just been working.” you respond as monotone as you can, clearly annoyed. “Can I be transparent with you?” he leans forward, you nod as you move your mouse around, clicking every few seconds. 
“You’ve been very lazy with your work these days.” Simon picks up the folder he left earlier on your desk, he flips through it thinking of what to say next. “And maybe it’s something going on at home-”  you snap your head to look at him, “Nothing is wrong at home.” he raises his eyebrows, “And I would appreciate it if you would move from my desk, monitoring is fine, hovering isn't.” you go back to typing away at your keyboard, almost slamming the buttons from sheer anger, Simon nods and backs off, he goes back to walking around again and finally goes back into his office. 
A notification from your mail icon, another email from Simon, 
Subject: Work performance
Maybe I could send you a copy of the employee handbook! I still see your headphones, 2 more strikes and you're out. 
With pleasure, 
S.R.
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neymarsangel · 10 months
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Car Troubles - Charles Leclerc x Verstappen!reader
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Charles Leclerc x Verstappen!reader
Requested? Yes/No: Anon: Can you do an angst with Charles where the reader is a Verstappen and lots of brother max🥺🥺🥺
Summary: Ferrari can’t keep their car on track and Charles can’t keep his emotions on the track. 
Word Count: 3.2K
Warnings: Angst, fluff, swearing, Max on a rampage.
When Max found out you and Charles were dating he wasn’t precisely best pleased, how could he be? His little sister was in bed with the man who’d been his rival since his karting days. Although Max was kinder to Charles now than he was back then he would still give Charles a rough time on the track or the cold shoulder at family dinners. Just because Charles was dating his sister didn’t mean he’d like him. 
For the past few months, Ferarri hadn’t been performing as well as they should be and the moment the car stopped breaking down Charles would make a mistake and land himself with another DNF. The pair of you had been dating for over a year now and Max was very much aware of it. You moved in after four months leaving Max alone in his apartment, not that you were always away from your older brother and tonight was one of those nights. 
Charles had returned from the race weekend pissed off beyond measure. The car had finally started to work and he’d spun out and hit the wall. He was leading the French GP and after his mistake, your brother went on to claim P1 which only pissed Charles off even more. He and you returned to Monaco rather hastily, saying nothing the entire flight home. Once you were in your shared apartment you finally decided to speak. 
“Charles?”
“I don’t want to talk about it y/n.” His voice was stern as he threw his bags down without looking. His careless actions caused his bag to knock against your coffee table, hitting a vase Max had bought you. The water from the vase fell across the small table and leaked onto a scrapbook you’d left on the glass counted. 
“Charles!” You screamed before running over to the table. “Be careful you’ll ruin it!” The scrapbook was a present from Charles. After you two had an argument over telling Max about you both, he created the book as a way to show you that he never wanted to hide you ever again. Every time you went on a date he’d make sure he got something as a souvenir so he could scrapbook it. He got to relive the memories, allowing him to relax after races. 
“Who cares? It’s just a shitty book!” He snapped, running his hands through her hair. 
“What did you say?” Your voice broke at his words. 
“You heard, it’s just a shitty book with scraps of paper, it’s not important -”
“That book is about us, the book that you made! It is important.” 
“You don’t know what’s important y/n.” He raised his voice. “You know what is important? Me winning this championship! I need to win this for me, for Ferarri, for my family… for all those fans that give their time, effort and money to me, I need to win it for them!” He took a deep breath. “I need to win it for you…”
“Charles I want you to win the championship but it won’t make me think any differently of you…” 
“It should.” He snapped. “It’ll make me on the same level as your brother and I need to be fighting against Redbull… but you don’t get it.” 
“Charles I do -”
“No, you don’t! You’re not in that car, your brother is. You’re just always there in the background, just waiting there for Max… never me -”
“That’s a lie and you know it!” Your voice grew. “I always watch the race in the Ferarri garages, I only leave when Max wins to congratulate him. He’s still my brother Charles.” 
“You know sometimes when I lose I just want you there…” His voice was low as he spoke but that didn’t last long. “But you’ll never understand what that’s like.”
“Why? Because I’m not a driver?”
“Because you’ve never been in the spotlight, only the background.” 
“Is that what I am to you?” Your brows arched at his words. “Just someone in the background?”
“Well… the journalists flock to your brother, not you.” 
Being the sister of a Formula 1 driver had its perks but it also meant that every day you woke up knowing you would never be on the same level as your brother. Max was always praised by your mum and dad whereas you had to fight for even the smallest acknowledgement from your parents. It wasn’t that they didn’t care about your own achievements but more so that Max was always at the forefront when it came to outperforming you and Victoria. 
You didn’t utter a word to him as you grabbed your bags once again but rather than heading to your front room you headed towards the door. “Where are you going?” Charles asked. 
“Why do you care? I’m just in the background, aren’t I?” 
“Oh come on y/n you know I didn’t mean it -”
“Are you sure about that Charles because you’re acting like it.”
“Look, I know you will never understand what it’s like being under so much pressure but -”
“Charles, do you know what it’s like to be compared to your brother who’s won a World Championship? Do you know what it’s like to have to constantly think of ways to be noticed by your own family for something whilst your brother is out on the track competing in one of the greatest sports in the world?” Taking a deep breath as you watched his mixed expression. “Maybe Arthur will understand.”  
“Don’t bring Arthur into this -”
“Then don’t bring Max into this!” 
“How can I not? He’s everywhere I turn! He makes stupid decisions on the track which resulted in me suffering!” 
“Do not blame your incompetence on my brother!” 
“My incompetence?” He laughed at your words. “Your brother’s a fucking idiot on that track, nearly kills everyone who even dares go near him!” 
“At least Max knows how to stay on the track.” You knew it was a low blow but the way he was speaking to you, he deserved it. 
“That was low y/n…”
“And calling me unimportant isn’t?”
“Well right now you’re not important y/n, you know what is? Running Redbull to the ground and winning this championship, nothing else matters right now.” 
Charles was obsessed with winning, he always felt the need to prove himself to everyone around him despite his friends and family knowing he was capable of what he wished to achieve but he knew that didn’t matter. With fans and the press constantly hounding him and Ferrari to be better you knew it was them he wanted to appease, not himself. 
“Fine.” You didn’t utter another word as you opened the door and left him standing alone in your apartment. Tears pricked your eyes as you dragged your bags into the lift. You knew that if you stayed the two of you would only rip one another’s heads off even more than you already have. 
Monaco wasn’t exactly small so it wouldn’t take long to get to Max’s building meanwhile Charles was left alone with his thoughts. He’d fished the scrapbook from the water, treating it like an artefact at a museum as he slowly flicked through the pages, carefully inspecting which ones were damaged. Every time his eyes fell on the photos his heart sank. He knew he shouldn’t take out what was happening on the track onto you. You would support him at every turn and he knew what he said about you never being there for him was a lie. He spent the night drying the pages as best he could whilst he put them back together as they were before. He thought of sending you a text asking you if you were at Max’s safely, it didn’t take a genius to work out that you’d gone to see your brother about it, but he also knew if Max saw your phone he’d take it upon himself to reply. 
When Max saw you his confused gaze softened into a sympathetic one. His arms opened as you fell against him in his doorway. Sobbing into his chest he slowly guided you into his apartment before speaking. “Want me to break check the cunt when he’s out cycling? Or I can shove him into the wall during the race next week? Then again he does that himself anyway…” You pulled back from Max, a small smile on your face at his words as you two sat down. “What happened?”
“It was just a stupid argument, it’s nothing.” You wiped your tears away with your sleeves but Max wasn’t convinced. 
“It’s very rare you come running to me late at night because you’re upset.” He leant back in his chair. He had a point. Normally you and Charles would act cold with one another until either one of you apologised a mere few hours later but this time it felt different. He’d gotten personal and it had hurt. “You normally make up after a few hours and then I find out a week later so what was different this time?” 
“He said I wasn’t important to him and that all his focus was on the Championship… he told me I wouldn’t understand and I get that - I’m not one of you and I know it’s important but I can understand to a certain degree how important it is but I thought he’d value what we have over that title.” 
“I’ll kill him -”
“Max!” 
“What?”
“He’s still my boyfriend.”
“Not one I like.”
“You don’t need to like him… more tolerate him.”
“I’m finding that hard right now.” Rolling his eyes he shifted his gaze back to you. “Has he even texted you? To make sure you got here safely?” 
Sliding your phone out of your pocket you were met with a blank screen. “No -”
“Cunt.” Max spoke under his breath. “Have you eaten?”
“No -”
“Good, we’ll order in, watch a film, like we used to.” He smiled at the memories. When the two of you were younger every single Friday you would all watch a film and have a takeaway with your sister Victoria. It was the one night when the three of you were all together and could forget about your parent's divorce and the world around you.  
You and Max spent the night talking about what happened whilst you two watched a Disney film, trying to forget the night. Unlike anyone else you were close with, Max knew how Charles felt when his car didn’t comply and when he made a mistake which lead to his race being ended. He would always give you a different perspective on your situation and most importantly, he’d listen to you. That was something a lot of people never saw, Max would always validate your feelings and tell you his own perspective on things when you needed it. 
Eventually, you and Max called it a night and you headed into his spare room. Throwing your bags onto the bed you began to get ready for bed when your phone sounded from the cabinet. 
Char <;3: Did you get to Max’s okay? X
You: I did x
Char <;3: When are you coming back? X
You: Is that why you texted? X
Char <;3: No I wanted to know that you were safe x
You: I left the house hours ago x
Char <;3: I know but I wanted to give you space x 
You locked your phone, ignoring his last text. You knew you’d cause another argument with him about his text being a little too late but he’d already read your mind.
Char <3: Look I’m sorry I should’ve messaged you earlier but I didn’t want to make this any worse x
You: By making sure I wasn’t killed? Do you think you checking in on my well-being was going to make this worse? X
Char <;3: You’re right and I’m so sorry, I should’ve walked or driven you over myself. When are you coming home? X 
You: I don’t know x
Char <;3: Please be safe. Take your time and I’ll see you soon and I’m sorry x
You: For not texting me or the argument we had? X
Char <3: Both x
You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to go home to him but his words continued to play in your head over and over again like a broken record. Climbing into bed you glimpsed at your lock screen which was a photo of you and Charles after he’d won the Australian GP. He had the trophy in one hand but he was looking at you, his eyes full of love as he looked at you, completely ignoring the trophy in his hand. 
You: I’ll message you later, goodnight Char. I love you x 
Charles's heart jumped at the reply he got. He knew it was stupid considering the two of you had been in a relationship for years but after a fight like that, all he wanted was reassurance. 
Char <;3: I love you too x 
He knew he had to make it up to you, he’d fucked up and with Max as your brother, he knew he’d have to grovel. 
You’d stayed with Max until the Hungarian GP, you knew you’d end up sharing a hotel with Charles. Max had offered to pay for another room for you but the truth was your heart ached to see your boyfriend again. 
“Are you sure you don’t want me to buy you a room?” Max asked as he carried your things to the room you were set to share with Charles. 
“I’m fine Max.” You smiled at him. “Besides they probably don’t have one free at this time-”
“Then you can take my room and I’ll share with Charles.”
“Yeah, I’m sure that would go down well.” 
“Well…” Max smirked at his own words. “He wouldn’t have to worry about him crashing into a wall because he wouldn’t even make it to the car.”
“You’re horrible.” A smile tainted on your lip at your own words. 
“Could be worse, remember what I did to your ex?” He smiled down at you. How could you forget? Your last boyfriend, Alexander, had cheated on you with a girl he claimed was ‘just a friend’. You walked in on the two of them in a compromising position only hours after he told you that he loved you. When Max found out there was nothing that could stop him. He stormed into his house and made sure he gave him two black eyes that wouldn’t shift for weeks. 
“It would be harder to get away with if you did it to Charles, besides, we had an argument. It’s not like he cheated on me.” 
“Well if that ever crosses his mind… it’ll be worse than two black eyes.” 
You reached your room but just as you went to open the door a tall brunette swung the door open before you could even get your hand to it. His eyes met yours as you both stared at one another in silence for a second. Max coughed, breaking the two of you out of your trance. 
“Max…” Charles glanced over to your brother who looked as if he was ready to kill him. 
“Charles,” Max replied before turning to you. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay with him? You can take my room.” 
Charles looked as if he wanted to kill Max himself at his words. “I’m sure she’s fine with me,” Charles spoke up. 
“You know she can talk for herself, Leclerc.”
“I’m aware.” Speaking through gritted teeth Charles seemed to have finally found his voice. 
“I’ll be fine Max.” You looked between the two men. Charles quickly snatched your bags away from Max’s grasp, a smug smile on his lips as he watched Max take a step back in defeat. 
“Text me if you need anything y/n, I’ll see you in the garages.” Max turned on his heel, his eyes not leaving Charles’s as he headed down the hallway. 
Charles held the door open for you as you walked inside the room. He’d moved his things in but only to one side of the room like he did every single weekend. Even when you weren’t around it always became a habit for him. “How was your time with Max?” He spoke as he set your bags aside. 
“Needed.” You replied. “How was your alone time?”
“Lonely.” He stepped closer to you. “I missed you.” 
Looking up your eyes met his. “I missed you too.” 
“I’m so sorry y/n. What I said, I didn’t mean it at all. Look, I was upset over the race, I feel like I’ll never be a World Champion and every single day I believe that I feel like I’m letting everyone down… especially you.”
“Charles I won’t love you any less if you aren’t a World Champion.”
“I know but… in the past, it's gotten too much and I’ve had people leave me or just become distant and I couldn’t take it if you decided to leave.”
“I’m not going to leave you I just want you to talk to me. I know I’m not a driver but my brother is and for years Max told me what it’s like and I know I’m not in the car but I can listen and understand as best I can, I’m sorry for what I said.” 
Charles stepped closer, his hands resting on the sides of your face as he leaned down. “You are so important to me, more important than any stupid trophy.”
“I better be.” Your face broke into a smile as Charles leaned down and took your lips into his. He stood in between your legs as he deepened the kiss his hands going to your hair to pull you closer to him, acting like this was the last time he’d ever kiss you. Eventually, you both pulled away, and Charles straightened himself up. 
“I have something for you.” Opening the drawer beside the bed he pulled out the scrapbook he’d made you. “It’s not just a book to me.” He handed it to you. “I fixed it as best I could, I’m sorry-”
“I think we should leave this page blank.” Cutting him off you pointed to a blank page. “For when you win the Championship, that way if you ever feel like you aren’t good enough then you can look back to this page, it might be blank for now but it’s a silent reminder of how much I believe in you, we all do.” You pecked his lips. “You might not believe it sometimes but everyone wants the best for you, especially your fans.” 
“I don’t want to let them down.”
“And you won’t… Ferrari will.” 
He laughed at your words, falling down beside you on the bed. “If only everyone thought how you did.” 
“Are you spying on them?” A British accent made Max jump back from the door to yours and Charles’s room. Lando stood behind him with a confused expression. 
“I’m just making sure he doesn’t make her cry.” 
“I think he makes other things wet besides her eyes.” Lando laughed at himself. Turning to face him Max laughed alongside him before his expression changed in a heartbeat. 
“Lando?” 
“Yeah?”
“Make a joke like that about my sister again and I’ll cut your dick off.” 
---
Buy me a coffee <3
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