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#bukcy barnes x reader
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Bright souls have a dark side too
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A/N: This is a little fic i write for this festive holiday. Not always easy to introduce your boyfriend to the entire family. But hey, with Bucky at your side, why being afraid?
Enjoy,
Cloudy
don't be shy to reblog, comment and like!
TW: tiny bit of angst if you squint closely, meeting the all fam (that's scary), fluff, bucky barnes (the romantic menace), smut (fingering (f receive) pinv (wrap it before you tap it)-established relationship
1909 words
divider by @firefly-graphics
not beta read, english is not my first language, all mistakes are my own.
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It’s Christmas eve, the worse moment of the year for you. You can’t quite understand the thrilled around it, but you like to see your friends and family happy. That all that matters to you on these days.
But this year…it’s special, you have someone special by your side. A dark brunette with blue eyes and a smile that warm your heart more and more every day.
“Doll?”
This nickname, you always found it to be a bit cheesy, but since him? You find it endearing and you love to hear it…especially with his voice.
“Yes, my love?”. His warm smile comes to view, and you smile back to him.
“Are you ready?”, you can’t hold back the sigh, making him worried. “Doll? Are you okay?”. You nod.
“Yeah, yeah, just…anxious I guess.” He sits beside you and cradles you in his arms.
“About what?”
“I don’t know, my family? You not liking them, them not liking you…me panicking for being overstimulated?”.
He kisses your forehead and smiles against your skin. “You’re adorable.”
You huff at that, “I’m not, I’m… pathetic”
He holds your chin and looks into your eyes, making you feel so small, but so safe at the same time. “You’re not. I met only your sister, and she was already a bit shocked to see her little sister going out with The Winter Soldiiier”, he half jokes.
You glare at him, and he kisses you.
“I know, you talked about me, but to see me in flesh can be…intimidating? I mean I do have a reputation. And not always the best one.”
You want to say something, but he shushes you with another kiss. “No but’s, it’s true and I’m okay with it. I made amend, I know my worth…most of the time and I got you. I don’t need to be accepted by your all family, just hope your parents can see I will, and I am taking good care of you, that’s all that matter for me.”
You smile, you love when he gets a bit old fashion concerning your parents and the way they will see him. You secretly wonder if he will ask your dad first if one day he proposed.
He helps you dress, reassuring you that you look gorgeous and that you don’t need to put the most amazing outfit. “I mean for me…you could wear my Henley and I would say you can go on the catwalk”, he smiles at you in the mirror, and you giggle.
“Jamiiiie!”
When you look up and meet his eyes…the blue is almost gone. You started to call him Jamie a few weeks back, and let’s just say…it always had an effect on him. His hands are on your hips, and he brings you tight against him. You gasp, because his hard, from head to toe, but damn the weapon between his legs is menacing you.
“Say that again”, he groans in your ear.
“J-jamie?”
He holds you close, cuddling you, kissing your neck. “I love when you call me like that.”
You giggle and shake your head “And I’m amazed by how feral and cute you can be in a matter of seconds”, he smiles sheepishly at you.
“Well, I…we need to get going soon and I don’t want to ruin your hair and makeup…now”, he murmurs pressing against you.
“So thoughtful of you…Jamie.”, you reply in a seductive voice.
He hugs you tighter and bites your neck gently. “Please I’m trying to be a good man and not railed my girlfriend before I officially meet her parents.”
You laugh and rest your head on his shoulder. He smiles at you in the mirror and squeezes your waist. “It’s gonna be alright angel face”.
You nod and hold his hand, walking out of your new shared appartement. It’s serious between us, you think. He left the Avenger Tour to settle with me.
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Let’s just say, the lunch with your extended family was something. Shocked was written on all their faces when they saw who was the mysterious plus one your mother mentioned. Bucky put on his best smile and tried not to cringe when everybody looked at his arm. Especially when you were holding his left hand. Surprisingly, your dad was the nicest and asked him real question and was really interested about what he did now, not about his past. They bonded around mechanics when bucky explained that he helped Sam rebuilt an old boat.
At 7pm, you two are finally home. You feel bloated, exhausted and so relieved that Christmas is over.
“Come here”, murmurs Bucky when you go lay on the couch. “I want to cuddle in bed, it’s comfier”, he continues, starting to take off your clothes. You shiver, the appartement being a bit colder than the house of your auntie. James is quick to takes his Henley off and to put it on you, you smile at the gesture and inhale his scent in the crook of his collar. “I’m right here, sunshine”, he jokes. You turn and hug him.
“How do you feel? I’m sorry they were looking at you like that.”
He kisses your head and strokes your cheeks. “I’m alright, your dad made it all better and you did too. I’m used to people staring.”
“I don’t want you to feel like …I don’t know, but I want you to feel welcomed in my family.”
“And I will, look at your friends, they were a bit… cold at first and now, it’s alright.”
He kisses you before you can say something. A kiss that deepens, he holds you close to him, walking you to the bed, laying you down gently and hovering you.
“I had a nice Christmas lunch. I had the best Christmas in a long time, because I spend it with you”, he declares.
You smirk. “Cheesy, Barnes”. He glares at you, and you blush.
“I told you to not call me that…”
“I was only joking”.
“I know, but don’t call me that, please?”. You nod and pecks his lips.
“I won’t call you that again, promise, Jamie.”
This time, he smiles and kisses you deeply, holding you tight against his chest, not a single space between the two of you. You get worked up fast, he knows how to push the right buttons to make you feel hot and bothered.
“James…jamie…please”, you mumble between kisses.
“Mmh?”
“I need you, Jamie.”
He presses firmly against you, saying without words that he needs you too and you’re quick to get him out of his pants and boxers, he takes your panties too and his Henley of you and once again holds you tight against him.
You love how much he needs skin to skin contact. How he grew and let his need of physical touch overcome his fear that you’ll run away if his left arm touched you.
His right hand slides between your bodies and plays with your mound, you arch your back and let a soft moan leaves your lips. Bucky catches it with a soft and tender kiss.
“My beautiful and gorgeous doll”, he murmurs against your lips. You pass your arms around his neck and kiss him passionately. This man has ruined you for everyone else and you want to drown in his tender and rough touch.
You cum on his fingers first, shaking and eyes rolling back. You’re quick to press him for more. “I need you, Jamie.”, you whine. He smiles at that and nods, starting to kiss you tenderly, making you dizzy by how he plays with your tongue, how he’s nibbling at your lower lip and how cold and hot touches run down your skin.
When you feel his cock close to where you need him the most you press your hips down, making him chuckle.
“Eager, my doll.”
You nod, not ashamed of how addicted to him you are. You hold his head between your hands and look at him deeply. “I want you, Jamie, all the time, it’s crazy how I’m addicted to you”.
He thrusts in and bottoms out in one long thrust, making you moan deeply. You hold onto him, and he smiles, a smile so bright you feel his love pouring out of it. His warm against you, inside you…and in your chest the fire is burning.
He sets a pace that makes you loose sight of time and space. You can only see or hear him. His grunts, his hands caressing every part of you, his cock throbbing each time you clench. You can only see his blue eyes, saying thousand words and you understand each every one of them. You never had sex like that, with Bucky it’s always with this connection, a special one that make you think of him even when he’s just in the next room.
It’s a connection that make you see him, truly see him and he sees you too. It’s like your souls were connected before you cross each other path.
Bucky leans in and kisses you again, angling your hips in that way only him can do, the angle that makes you see stars in a matter of seconds. He rolls his hips deeps into you, kissing your cervix and rolling his pelvis on yours. You moan loudly, scratching his back entirely and holding his ass tightly after. He growls in your ear, speaking Russian lowly and you swoon at it.
“JAMES!” you scream a moan one last time and cum around him violently. He holds you tight when you start to tremble and makes little thrust and little roll of his hips to help you with your high. You clench hard one last time and he gasps before cumming too. He hides his face in your neck, tensing above you and relaxing after his own high.
He rolls over so you’re on top and holds you tightly, stroking your back and kissing your head. You pant, pressing kisses on his neck and drawing little patterns on his chest.
“I love you, doll”, he whispers after a while. You smile and kisses above his heart.
“I love you, Jamie.” He smiles brightly and scrunches his nose in a cute way.
After a few more comfortable minutes in silence, he pats your butt. “Your Dad said something to me, that…I can’t keep to myself.”
You frown, afraid… his smile reassures you.
“He told me that every bright soul have a dark side. He apologised for the looks some of your family sent me while eating. He said that my past, as the winter soldier, was the dark side of my soul. But that didn’t define it all. He saw the bright side and how I cared for you. He saw your smile change when we started dating.”
He stops, tearing up a little before continuing:
“he told me…that I made you and your soul shine again. And that together we were brighter and that made him very happy.”
You let your tears fall. Your dad always had a little philosophical way of thinking. And you loved that side of him. And to hear him say that to your boyfriend put your mind at ease, if your dad accepted your Jamie, the family would follow. That means you and Jamie could have you happily ever after.
Bucky kisses your tears away and then pecks your lips lots, making you giggle. “See Christmas magic” he chimes.
You laugh and kisses him.
-Fin
mwaaaaah @chrisdrysdale for your christmas gift andddd 1 year celebration
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downbadf0rficppl · 3 months
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pink in the night
Bucky Barnes x F!Reader
Summary: Some interesting rumours have been circling around about Bucky. Little do you know, it's kinda your fault.
Word Count: 4.5K
Warnings: Porn with a bit of plot, SMUT, SMUT, SMUT, soft Buck, SMUT!!!!
AN: Sorry y'all! It's kinda a bit shit but listen, it's self-indulgent so idc :) This is kinda inspired by 'Pink in the Night' by Mitski which I was listening to while writing this. Have a good rest of the week, y'all <3
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Bucky had a love-hate relationship with being your neighbour. On the one hand, he loved seeing your face as you left your room every morning, hair not yet slicked to perfection, and sleep still evident on your face. You seemed a lot more innocent in the morning - conversations more idle.
On the other hand - and perhaps as a downside to his more sensitive hearing - you drove him crazy with the knowledge of things that perhaps he wasn't supposed to know.
This night was no different. You had headed off to bed after a long day, bidding everyone in the kitchen a good night. You grabbed a water bottle before slipping into the elevator, Bucky not far behind. You stepped out of the elevator together and you wished him sweet dreams before slipping into your room. Oh, his dreams were going to be far from sweet.
You see, your beds were pushed up to opposite sides of the same wall, so he could hear you relax on your bed. He could hear you shuffle to strip into just your underwear, and how your hand slipped into your panties. He could hear how your breath hitched as you circled your clit, and your soft moans as you plunged your fingers into your cunt or as your vibrator dipped in between your folds.
He could almost envisage you doing it - a forbidden porno that took root in his mind every night that he heard you finger yourself to completion. The rosy pink flush that you would glow as you came all over your hand. Your heavy rise and fall of your chest as you came down from your high. The small smile that would adorn your face as rolled over to fall asleep - the oxytocin released coursing through your veins.
He felt disgusting as he did - one of those creeps that he intended to protect you from for the rest of his life. But after you'd fallen asleep, he'd hop into the shower to cool his body and his mind - to throw the detestable thoughts of you to the far corners of his mind. But as he fell asleep, you'd re-enter his mind in a different way. A more safe-for-work way. You'd be in his arms, cuddling him and whispering sweet words of encouragement. You'd be cooking him dinner while he told you funny stories about his life with scrawny Steve in the 40s; he'd be washing the dishes while you sat on the counter tell him about your day. He'd worry for your well-being - not as an overbearing coworker but as a loving, doting boyfriend. Maybe husband.
Bucky was getting ahead of himself - he'd have to work up the courage to have more than a few-word conversation with you. But for now, wishing he could hold your hand would have to suffice.
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Being Bucky's neighbour was not much easier. Especially when he was completely oblivious to your plight. Even the slight brush of a hand made your heart flutter.
You loved seeing him early in the morning - he always seemed less reserved when he was fresh from a good night's rest. He was faster to smile, faster to laugh. It was nice. You woke up at an ungodly hour to see him just before he headed on his morning run. You couldn't deny that the morning light did wonders for him - you were always left wanting more when he dipped into the elevator.
Oh, and the sounds. Your hearing was not quite as superior as Bucky's, but you definitely heard things that left you clenching around thin air.
You knew Bucky wasn't one to self-complete often - in fact, it was rare that you ever caught on to the act. But you had caught the odd broken moan coming from his room. You turned into molten mush, the weight of your arousal buckling your knees. If there was any sound that could turn you to putty, it was that.
You didn't how many times the idea of Bucky fucking you had played through your mind, but each night a different variation brought you the same ending - your fingers deep in your cunt, coaxing you to a climax.
Every night, you wished his cock, tongue, fingers were filling you up instead of yours, leaving you aching and wishing for more. You wanted to run your nails down his back - leaving permanent reminders of your love for him - while he nipped at your neck - leaving marks claiming you as his.
Sometimes, your brain caught up to your thoughts, reprimanding you for your possessiveness. He wasn't yours, you had to remind yourself, even if you wished he was. For that, you'd have to actually have to have more than a few-word conversation with him - which to be honest, seemed impossible. So you stuck to your nightly wishful dreaming, hoping one day he'd be yours. Only yours.
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Summer was the worst for Bucky. You were the type to spend hours upon hours out in the sun, coming back with a budding tan and rosy complexion - it did nothing to quell the budding images flashing in the back of his mind. You. Under him. Panting. Moaning his name as he brought you to the edge. Over and over again. Face glowing pink as you gaze up into his eyes, drunk on love and his cock. Bucky had to excuse himself to splash cold water on his face.
It didn't help that the clothing you wore did nothing to help his imagination. The semi-sheer tops, the shorts, the swimsuit and bikinis. Every time he saw you, he immediately had to duck back inside to deal with 'a little problem'. More like a very large, very hard, and very obvious problem.
Still, he enjoyed your company more than he had for the better part of his time living in the compound. He listened to your stories, your jokes, helped solve your issues. He felt that - even if you weren't quite what he wanted you to be - your relationship was blossoming into something quite beautiful. And that made him feel a lot braver - he introduced a little comment here and there, a hand always on your waist or the small of your back. He flirted with you from time to time: just to gauge a meter on your reactions, he'd tell himself, as if this was an experiment to crack a hypothesis that had been perplexing scientists for years.
The sun was peaking over the top of the trees surrounding the compound when you woke up. That was a rarity in summer, given that the sun rose at nearly 5am. Still, you didn't miss out on the opportunity to watch the sunrise, curling up on your windowsill with your blanket wrapped tightly around your shoulders.
You heard Bucky opening his door, and you ran towards yours, grabbing your phone and slippers on your way. You opened your door just as he closed his. He was dressed in gym wear - as always - since he was going on his morning run around the compound track. It was a nice track - one that you rarely frequented - going in and out of the forest behind the compound, totalling about 4.5 miles in distance.
He took you in, eyes bulging as they raked over you. You looked down, following his gaze. Shit. In your rush to see Bucky, you'd forgotten that your nightwear had consisted of some flimsy shorts and your bra - that you had thrown on after waking up to save a modicum of dignity, should someone burst into your room. It was too hot for anything else. You crossed your arms over your chest, which indefinitely made the issue worse as Bucky's eyes lifted way over your head.
"Looking good, babe!" Nat yells, walking across the landing toward you both. Clearly, Bucky had been intending to go on a run with her, maybe fit in a quick sparring session. You sent them on their way, with a 'have fun' and 'don't have too much fun.'
As soon as you were back in the comfort of your room, Nat elbowed Bucky hard.
"Oww! What the fuck was that for?" Rubbing his metal arm, for the convincing act.
"Oh please, you big baby. You have a fucking metal arm, get over yourself." She looked down, "You have a bit of a situation going on down there."
He looks down, embarrassment flushing his cheeks bright red, and subtly tucked his hard dick into his waistband.
"You wanna go sort that out? I won't hold it against you," Nat said, hitting the button to call the lift, "I promise not to tell Stark. Scout's honour." She jokingly holds up 3 fingers. Bucky swats her arm gently.
"No point."
Nat gasps, "No way. Don't tell me Mr. Winter Soldier can't have sex."
"Not sex," Bucky mumbles, "Just jerking off. Can't seem to - you know - finish."
Bucky had a history with Nat. They'd known each other for years. That kind of history made this kind of conversation somewhat less uncomfortable.
Nat burst into laughter. So much for not being uncomfortable.
The lift stopped on Sam's floor. He stepped in, gazing warily at the scene in front of him: the Black Widow doubled over in laughter, and the Winter Soldier embarrassed and uncomfortable in the corner.
He begged to be let in on the joke. Nat wheezed between laughs, "He - can't - fucking - cum!" Bursting into another bout of laughter, with Sam close behind, Bucky jumps out on the next floor, heading to the roof for some fresh air. He catches you up there, trying out some morning yoga. He sneaks up behind you as your stand up, grabbing your waist. You shriek, hitting him hard in the chest, before melting into his embrace once your brain caught up to the situation.
"Not fair!" You pouted, pausing your peaceful music, "Yoga's supposed to be peaceful!"
Bucky chuckles, pulling you into another hug, feeling you wrap your arms around his neck.
"I thought you were going on a run with Nat?" You whispered into his ear, your cheek resting on his clavicle.
"She ditched me for Sam." Bucky opted to leave out the real reason why he had left Nat and Sam in pieces in the elevator.
"Sucks to be you, Barnes!" You laugh pulling away and stepping back onto your mat. "Now leave me alone - just 'cause your friends abandoned you, doesn't mean you can bother me."
Bucky pouted, causing you to laugh before you turned back to your Yoga. He stood there and watched you for a minute, before heading back down to the gym. He strung up a punching bag, before wrapping his flesh wrist. Bucky took all his pent-up aggression and frustration out on the punching bag, allowing no respite between each jab, cross, and hook.
He stayed in the gym for over 3 hours, working every bit of stress out of his body. By the time he left the gym, the sun was high in the sky and a long day of paperwork and training awaited. Bucky headed up to his room for a quick shower - washing all the sweat off his body.
He felt lighter heading downstairs for breakfast - the weight of his arousal pushed far back in his mind. There was nothing he could do about it anyway.
Since deciding he would pursue you honestly, he couldn't seem to finish, no matter how hard he tried. You had been the only thing to push him over the edge - it seemed his body couldn't do it without you. It was frustrating beyond belief. He'd tried other things, porn, erotica, even thinking back to good times before the war. Nothing helped. It was as if his body was finetuned to you - only you knew the magic password to release him. Figuratively and literally.
When he reached the kitchen, he was privy to a welcome sight. You, in your combat gear, grabbing some granola bars before you jumped on the quinjet. You and Stark were heading on a surveillance mission in Guatemala for the week. You were reaching up to the top shelf, stretching on your tiptoes for the expensive granolas that had been kept on the top shelf. Bucky's granola bars that he had put there to stop anyone else from stealing them.
He reached up from behind you and grabbed the box, placing it in your hands. You looked guilty. You'd been caught red-handed.
"It's fine, doll. Take as many as you want." He said, leaning back against the counter, resting on his forearms. Your face flushed red as you grabbed 2 or 3, shoving them into your bag and turning around to fill up your water bottle.
You shivered when his hot breath fanned across your exposed neck, "Just remember that you owe me."
He was gone by the time you turned around.
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The rumour had spread like wildfire while you were away.
"Did you hear that Bucky can't have sex?"
"I heard that Bucky can't - you know - cum?"
"Apparently, his time at Hydra fucked him up worse than he realised."
"He can't even masturbate you know?"
The rumours were getting out of hand, but he let them swirl. There was an ounce of truth to them, even if Hydra had nothing to do with his current predicament.
No, that blame could only lie with you.
When you got back, Bucky had just left on a 4-day-long mission with Sam - which meant you heard all the rumours and Bucky wasn't there to defend himself.
You heard it first when you dropped your suit off for dry-cleaning. One of the tech guys was whispering to Marta, the woman who looked after the dry cleaning of suits, about Bucky's apparent inability to ejaculate. You were shocked. Where the hell did they even get that information? You dropped off your suit and headed back up to your room to shower.
You then heard another mention of it when you went to drop off your reports. Two of the agents that were being reassigned to Steve's team - that were currently on a month-long mission in Chad - were gossiping outside Tony's office.
" - and apparently she ran out crying. Thought she wasn't good enough for him or something along those lines. I don't know."
"Yeah, apparently the breakup was grizzly."
"I feel bad for him you know, all of the shit he went through with Hydra, and now this?"
"Yeah, man, really sucks."
Your face blushed a bright red. What the fuck? Where did this rumour even come from? You knew for a fact that Bucky hadn't had a girlfriend since living in the compound so wherever that part of the rumour came from was completely untrue.
You had to get to the bottom of this.
You spent the better part of the next 2 days collecting bits of information from conversations between people around the compound. You found out that the rumour had originated from a conversation between Nat and Sam, which an agent had overheard while they were on their run. It had been twisted as most oral stories were leading to this big misleading idea that Bucky was unable to even get it up and that he was unable to please a woman. You were sure the latter part was untrue. You'd heard the way he moaned alone in his room - you were sure that you could cum just from his moans alone. He wouldn't even need to touch you.
You didn't think the rumour would affect you when Bucky got back. After all, you knew at least some of it to be false. But when he got back, his beard grown out a little because he couldn't shave it while he was away, you felt embarrassed. Not because of his supposed 'predicament' but because you felt as if you had found out something that you maybe weren't supposed to know.
Bucky caught on quicker than you would have liked. The night after he got back, Tony had thrown a little get-together to 'celebrate midsummer'. Realistically, Tony just wanted a reason to go out and drink with his friends. You had avoided Bucky most of the night - not necessarily intentionally, but Bucky still felt slightly hurt and more than a little confused.
He caught you alone on the balcony, looking out at the stars.
"Did I do something?" He said, sneaking up behind you and making you jump. Nervousness and insecurity laced his every move, worried that he had hurt you in some way that he couldn't possibly imagine.
You shook your head violently, scared to make eye contact with him. He lifted your chin, forcing your eyes to meet his.
"What's wrong?" You turned back to face the sky, embarrassment filling your chest. He laced his metal fingers into yours, "You know you can tell me anything, right?"
"It's stupid."
"No, it's not. Nothing's stupid, not if it's you." Your heart fluttered at his words.
Your eyes met his steady gaze, "It's really stupid." His eyes begged you to go on, "It's just that - um - when I got back I - um - heardthisreallystupidrumourandIshouldn'thaveletitgettomebutbasically -"
Bucky placed a hand on your waist, drawing small circles, "Breathe."
"Someone said you had trouble pleasing women." You let out quietly. If it hadn't been for his enhanced hearing, he probably would have missed you. His grip on your waist tightened, "Bucky?"
"Trouble pleasing women? That's a new one." His deep voice cut you to your core. You let out a small whimper as the arousal pooled in your panties.
Bucky didn't miss that either.
He grabbed your arm and led you through the party. No one gave you a double look as he lead you into the vacant elevator, slamming your floor number and pushing you up against the wall.
"Think I can't please a woman, huh? Think again. Don't think I don't know what you think about when you cum all over your hand, whining my name under your breath." You whined lowly at his words, feeling how he pushed his hard dick perfectly in line with your throbbing pussy, "Isn't that right, slut? That's what you are, aren't you? My perfect little slut?" You moan at his degrading statement, pushing your pussy further onto his cock trying to find some friction.
"So needy," He tutted, his condescending tone only heightening your arousal. The elevator door pinged and Bucky picked you up bridal-style, kicking the door to your room open. You regularly forgot to lock it while heading down to dinner - for once, both you and Bucky were glad.
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He dropped you on your bed, unceremoniously, eyes raking over you ravenously. The heat rose up your face, as you shifted under his unrelenting gaze.
"Oh baby, you don't how long I've been waiting for this." He leaned down locking your lips in a passionate kiss. His palm landed just above your knee, caressing up your leg towards your upper thigh. His hand slid under your dress, cupping your ass. He left a light squeeze, making you gasp into the kiss.
He leaned down, grabbing you with ease, flipping you both so you were straddling his waist. He tangled his flesh hand in your hair, the metal one possessively gripping your hip. He brought you down to his lips for another kiss - even when you were on top, he made sure you knew that he was in charge.
He toyed with the hem of your dress, eyes raking over you once again.
"Off."
You pulled the dress over your head, leaving you in your bra and panties. You felt seriously underdressed, especially considering Bucky was still in his jacket. He reaches up, joining your lips in another kiss, and reaching around to remove your bra. He tosses it to the side, running his knuckles over your pebbled nipples. You moan loudly, panties soaked. He takes his time pinching and squeezing your nipples, licking and biting as he went. The alternate sensations of one warm hand and one ice-cold heighten your arousal ten-fold. You buck your hips over his jeans, the sensation of his fly between your sensitive folds throwing you into overdrive.
His grip on your waist tightened once again. "I can feel your cunt throbbing, honey." You whimpered pathetically. "Go ahead, use me to get off. I know you want to."
Your hips started bucking off their own accord, clothed pussy running over the fly of his jeans. They started slow, getting a feel for what exactly you were doing. Bucky's hands started pushing you faster, setting a faster groove. The coil in your stomach began to tighten as your bucking became more erratic. You teetered on the edge of an orgasm when Bucky stopped you.
"Beg." He restarted your pace, faster and more erratic than before.
"Please, please, please, please, Bucky, please let me cum, please..-" You babbled, tripping and stumbling through your pleas. With a searing kiss, he gives you permission.
"I love you, I love you, I love, OH-" You fall off the edge of one of the hardest orgasms you've ever had, head empty with only one thing on your mind. Bucky.
You feel Bucky manhandle your body so your back is lying on the bed and he is towering over you. He asks you if you want to go on and all you can do is nod your head vigorously.
He chuckles, "I like your enthusiasm baby, but I need words. Can you do that for me?"
"Yes, YES!" You shout, breathlessly, already needing more.
He's fully naked and it's all you can do to not stare. He's definitely a well-endowed man, and he definitely has no problem getting it up.
"Like what you see?" He smirks, and you slap his thigh playfully. He pulls you further toward the edge of the bed and lines his dick up with your slick folds. He slides in slowly, holding your chin up so you keep eye contact with him. He watches as your eyes roll to the back of your head in satisfaction. You've never felt so full in your life. He presses into you slowly, feeling the way your tightness engulfs him, allowing your body to adjust to his size. You whimper softly as he pushes in - you never realised just how desperate you were for him.
"What's wrong, sweetheart?" He chuckles, watching as tears leak out of your eyes. His condescending tone was back, and all it did was make you hornier. You babbled incoherently, "Gone dumb already? What a cock-drunk little slut you are."
He trails a metal finger up the side of your torso, watching the goosebumps left in its wake. You whimper again.
"Such a needy little baby. Only I can take care of you like this, right? Only me."
"Only you." You affirmed, pressing a kiss to the arm near your head.
He pulled out almost entirely, before slamming all the way back in. You screamed in pleasure, and Bucky set a brutal pace. He pinned your arms above your head with his right hand, and his left hand came to wrap around your throat. The significance of that was not lost on you. He loved you enough to not hurt you, even with his metal arm.
"I love you, baby. You know that right?" Bucky looked you deep in the eyes, "You know I love you right?"
"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you," You babble back, lost in the throes of passion.
Bucky found your clit with his metal hand, pressing and flicking gently. You felt your muscles tighten for a second time, and you grabbed the sheets throwing your head back as you came harder than the first time.
Bucky came moments later, deep inside you with a loud moan. He pulled out slowly, collapsing next to you. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling yourself into his neck.
He chuckled at that, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into a bear hug. You stayed like that for a minute before he untangled himself from you and carried you to the bathroom.
He turned on the shower and you both stepped under it, cleaning the sweat and cum off your bodies. Your legs felt like jelly, so you leaned heavily into Bucky as he washed you off.
"Stay awake, doll, just for a second," He said, shaking you awake each time you dozed off in the shower.
Bucky pulled some of your clothes onto your body, before setting you down on the bed. He gave you a quick kiss to the forehead before promising to be back soon.
He snuck into his room wrapped in a towel, before throwing on the first pair of sweats he could find and dashing to the kitchen for a cup of water.
He snuck back into your room, to see you already dead asleep on the bed. He slipped under the covers, tugging you closer to his chest, and smiled.
Through your grogginess, you nuzzled into his chest. "I love you." You whispered, your lips resting against his heart.
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You woke up to the sound of soft snoring in your ear and sunlight streaming through the window. You smiled. You untangled yourself from Bucky's arms, disappearing into your bathroom to pee. You wash your face and brush your teeth before diving back into Bucky's arms.
Your legs were still sore from last night, but you didn't care. You were Bucky's and Bucky was yours. The very thought put a massive smile on your face.
"What's tickled your feather this morning?" Goddamn, his morning voice was sexy. You smiled and pressed a hard kiss to his lips.
Bucky smiled through the kiss. He picked you up by the thighs, carrying you while he brushed his teeth and splashed his face.
The compound was pretty silent, barely anyone was awake after drinking the night away. So, while Bucky made you pancakes for breakfast, you asked him the question, "Hey, Buck, where did the rumour come from?"
He looked at you, vaguely embarrassed, "You know that day, when me and Nat were gonna go down to train?"
You face flushed red, "When I walked out in my underwear?"
"Yeah," he chuckled, "I got a hard-on, like a teenage boy."
You stifled a laugh.
"So, Nat said, do I wanna go deal with it? And I told her I couldn't."
You looked at him confused, "Why not?"
"Cause of you," he said simply. You looked at him even more confused, "You were the only thing I got get off to. I tried everything else. Porn, erotica, even thinking about old sex. Nothing worked."
You flushed red again. "Oh god, I've weirded you out, haven't I?" You broke off his impending spiral with a kiss.
"I love you." You said, placing a kiss on his bare chest.
He looked at you with such love and reverence that you felt like you might combust under his gaze.
He kissed you again and all you could think was, "I love you, I love you, I love you."
I love you, I love you, I love you.
I love you I love you I love you.
fin.
buy me a coffee
3K notes · View notes
d0wnb4df0rf1cm3n · 1 year
Text
Pink in the Night
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: Some interesting rumours have been circling around about Bucky. Little do you know, it's kinda your fault.
Word Count: 4.5K
Warnings: Porn with a bit of plot, SMUT, SMUT, SMUT, soft Buck, SMUT!!!!
AN: Sorry y'all! It's kinda a bit shit but listen, it's self-indulgent so idc :) This is kinda inspired by 'Pink in the Night' by Mitski which I was listening to while writing this. Have a good rest of the week, y'all <3 (Also, I love this gif. Can anyone tell me where it's from????)
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Bucky had a love-hate relationship with being your neighbour. On the one hand, he loved seeing your face as you left your room every morning, hair not yet slicked to perfection, and sleep still evident on your face. You seemed a lot more innocent in the morning - conversations more idle.
On the other hand - and perhaps as a downside to his more sensitive hearing - you drove him crazy with the knowledge of things that perhaps he wasn't supposed to know.
This night was no different. You had headed off to bed after a long day, bidding everyone in the kitchen a good night. You grabbed a water bottle before slipping into the elevator, Bucky not far behind. You stepped out of the elevator together and you wished him sweet dreams before slipping into your room. Oh, his dreams were going to be far from sweet.
You see, your beds were pushed up to opposite sides of the same wall, so he could hear you relax on your bed. He could hear you shuffle to strip into just your underwear, and how your hand slipped into your panties. He could hear how your breath hitched as you circled your clit, and your soft moans as you plunged your fingers into your cunt or as your vibrator dipped in between your folds.
He could almost envisage you doing it - a forbidden porno that took root in his mind every night that he heard you finger yourself to completion. The rosy pink flush that you would glow as you came all over your hand. Your heavy rise and fall of your chest as you came down from your high. The small smile that would adorn your face as rolled over to fall asleep - the oxytocin released coursing through your veins.
He felt disgusting as he did - one of those creeps that he intended to protect you from for the rest of his life. But after you'd fallen asleep, he'd hop into the shower to cool his body and his mind - to throw the detestable thoughts of you to the far corners of his mind. But as he fell asleep, you'd re-enter his mind in a different way. A more safe-for-work way. You'd be in his arms, cuddling him and whispering sweet words of encouragement. You'd be cooking him dinner while he told you funny stories about his life with scrawny Steve in the 40s; he'd be washing the dishes while you sat on the counter tell him about your day. He'd worry for your well-being - not as an overbearing coworker but as a loving, doting boyfriend. Maybe husband.
Bucky was getting ahead of himself - he'd have to work up the courage to have more than a few-word conversation with you. But for now, wishing he could hold your hand would have to suffice.
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Being Bucky's neighbour was not much easier. Especially when he was completely oblivious to your plight. Even the slight brush of a hand made your heart flutter.
You loved seeing him early in the morning - he always seemed less reserved when he was fresh from a good night's rest. He was faster to smile, faster to laugh. It was nice. You woke up at an ungodly hour to see him just before he headed on his morning run. You couldn't deny that the morning light did wonders for him - you were always left wanting more when he dipped into the elevator.
Oh, and the sounds. Your hearing was not quite as superior as Bucky's, but you definitely heard things that left you clenching around thin air.
You knew Bucky wasn't one to self-complete often - in fact, it was rare that you ever caught on to the act. But you had caught the odd broken moan coming from his room. You turned into molten mush, the weight of your arousal buckling your knees. If there was any sound that could turn you to putty, it was that.
You didn't how many times the idea of Bucky fucking you had played through your mind, but each night a different variation brought you the same ending - your fingers deep in your cunt, coaxing you to a climax.
Every night, you wished his cock, tongue, fingers were filling you up instead of yours, leaving you aching and wishing for more. You wanted to run your nails down his back - leaving permanent reminders of your love for him - while he nipped at your neck - leaving marks claiming you as his.
Sometimes, your brain caught up to your thoughts, reprimanding you for your possessiveness. He wasn't yours, you had to remind yourself, even if you wished he was. For that, you'd have to actually have to have more than a few-word conversation with him - which to be honest, seemed impossible. So you stuck to your nightly wishful dreaming, hoping one day he'd be yours. Only yours.
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Summer was the worst for Bucky. You were the type to spend hours upon hours out in the sun, coming back with a budding tan and rosy complexion - it did nothing to quell the budding images flashing in the back of his mind. You. Under him. Panting. Moaning his name as he brought you to the edge. Over and over again. Face glowing pink as you gaze up into his eyes, drunk on love and his cock. Bucky had to excuse himself to splash cold water on his face.
It didn't help that the clothing you wore did nothing to help his imagination. The semi-sheer tops, the shorts, the swimsuit and bikinis. Every time he saw you, he immediately had to duck back inside to deal with 'a little problem'. More like a very large, very hard, and very obvious problem.
Still, he enjoyed your company more than he had for the better part of his time living in the compound. He listened to your stories, your jokes, helped solve your issues. He felt that - even if you weren't quite what he wanted you to be - your relationship was blossoming into something quite beautiful. And that made him feel a lot braver - he introduced a little comment here and there, a hand always on your waist or the small of your back. He flirted with you from time to time: just to gauge a meter on your reactions, he'd tell himself, as if this was an experiment to crack a hypothesis that had been perplexing scientists for years.
The sun was peaking over the top of the trees surrounding the compound when you woke up. That was a rarity in summer, given that the sun rose at nearly 5am. Still, you didn't miss out on the opportunity to watch the sunrise, curling up on your windowsill with your blanket wrapped tightly around your shoulders.
You heard Bucky opening his door, and you ran towards yours, grabbing your phone and slippers on your way. You opened your door just as he closed his. He was dressed in gym wear - as always - since he was going on his morning run around the compound track. It was a nice track - one that you rarely frequented - going in and out of the forest behind the compound, totalling about 4.5 miles in distance.
He took you in, eyes bulging as they raked over you. You looked down, following his gaze. Shit. In your rush to see Bucky, you'd forgotten that your nightwear had consisted of some flimsy shorts and your bra - that you had thrown on after waking up to save a modicum of dignity, should someone burst into your room. It was too hot for anything else. You crossed your arms over your chest, which indefinitely made the issue worse as Bucky's eyes lifted way over your head.
"Looking good, babe!" Nat yells, walking across the landing toward you both. Clearly, Bucky had been intending to go on a run with her, maybe fit in a quick sparring session. You sent them on their way, with a 'have fun' and 'don't have too much fun.'
As soon as you were back in the comfort of your room, Nat elbowed Bucky hard.
"Oww! What the fuck was that for?" Rubbing his metal arm, for the convincing act.
"Oh please, you big baby. You have a fucking metal arm, get over yourself." She looked down, "You have a bit of a situation going on down there."
He looks down, embarrassment flushing his cheeks bright red, and subtly tucked his hard dick into his waistband.
"You wanna go sort that out? I won't hold it against you," Nat said, hitting the button to call the lift, "I promise not to tell Stark. Scout's honour." She jokingly holds up 3 fingers. Bucky swats her arm gently.
"No point."
Nat gasps, "No way. Don't tell me Mr. Winter Soldier can't have sex."
"Not sex," Bucky mumbles, "Just jerking off. Can't seem to - you know - finish."
Bucky had a history with Nat. They'd known each other for years. That kind of history made this kind of conversation somewhat less uncomfortable.
Nat burst into laughter. So much for not being uncomfortable.
The lift stopped on Sam's floor. He stepped in, gazing warily at the scene in front of him: the Black Widow doubled over in laughter, and the Winter Soldier embarrassed and uncomfortable in the corner.
He begged to be let in on the joke. Nat wheezed between laughs, "He - can't - fucking - cum!" Bursting into another bout of laughter, with Sam close behind, Bucky jumps out on the next floor, heading to the roof for some fresh air. He catches you up there, trying out some morning yoga. He sneaks up behind you as your stand up, grabbing your waist. You shriek, hitting him hard in the chest, before melting into his embrace once your brain caught up to the situation.
"Not fair!" You pouted, pausing your peaceful music, "Yoga's supposed to be peaceful!"
Bucky chuckles, pulling you into another hug, feeling you wrap your arms around his neck.
"I thought you were going on a run with Nat?" You whispered into his ear, your cheek resting on his clavicle.
"She ditched me for Sam." Bucky opted to leave out the real reason why he had left Nat and Sam in pieces in the elevator.
"Sucks to be you, Barnes!" You laugh pulling away and stepping back onto your mat. "Now leave me alone - just 'cause your friends abandoned you, doesn't mean you can bother me."
Bucky pouted, causing you to laugh before you turned back to your Yoga. He stood there and watched you for a minute, before heading back down to the gym. He strung up a punching bag, before wrapping his flesh wrist. Bucky took all his pent-up aggression and frustration out on the punching bag, allowing no respite between each jab, cross, and hook.
He stayed in the gym for over 3 hours, working every bit of stress out of his body. By the time he left the gym, the sun was high in the sky and a long day of paperwork and training awaited. Bucky headed up to his room for a quick shower - washing all the sweat off his body.
He felt lighter heading downstairs for breakfast - the weight of his arousal pushed far back in his mind. There was nothing he could do about it anyway.
Since deciding he would pursue you honestly, he couldn't seem to finish, no matter how hard he tried. You had been the only thing to push him over the edge - it seemed his body couldn't do it without you. It was frustrating beyond belief. He'd tried other things, porn, erotica, even thinking back to good times before the war. Nothing helped. It was as if his body was finetuned to you - only you knew the magic password to release him. Figuratively and literally.
When he reached the kitchen, he was privy to a welcome sight. You, in your combat gear, grabbing some granola bars before you jumped on the quinjet. You and Stark were heading on a surveillance mission in Guatemala for the week. You were reaching up to the top shelf, stretching on your tiptoes for the expensive granolas that had been kept on the top shelf. Bucky's granola bars that he had put there to stop anyone else from stealing them.
He reached up from behind you and grabbed the box, placing it in your hands. You looked guilty. You'd been caught red-handed.
"It's fine, doll. Take as many as you want." He said, leaning back against the counter, resting on his forearms. Your face flushed red as you grabbed 2 or 3, shoving them into your bag and turning around to fill up your water bottle.
You shivered when his hot breath fanned across your exposed neck, "Just remember that you owe me."
He was gone by the time you turned around.
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The rumour had spread like wildfire while you were away.
"Did you hear that Bucky can't have sex?"
"I heard that Bucky can't - you know - cum?"
"Apparently, his time at Hydra fucked him up worse than he realised."
"He can't even masturbate you know?"
The rumours were getting out of hand, but he let them swirl. There was an ounce of truth to them, even if Hydra had nothing to do with his current predicament.
No, that blame could only lie with you.
When you got back, Bucky had just left on a 4-day-long mission with Sam - which meant you heard all the rumours and Bucky wasn't there to defend himself.
You heard it first when you dropped your suit off for dry-cleaning. One of the tech guys was whispering to Marta, the woman who looked after the dry cleaning of suits, about Bucky's apparent inability to ejaculate. You were shocked. Where the hell did they even get that information? You dropped off your suit and headed back up to your room to shower.
You then heard another mention of it when you went to drop off your reports. Two of the agents that were being reassigned to Steve's team - that were currently on a month-long mission in Chad - were gossiping outside Tony's office.
" - and apparently she ran out crying. Thought she wasn't good enough for him or something along those lines. I don't know."
"Yeah, apparently the breakup was grizzly."
"I feel bad for him you know, all of the shit he went through with Hydra, and now this?"
"Yeah, man, really sucks."
Your face blushed a bright red. What the fuck? Where did this rumour even come from? You knew for a fact that Bucky hadn't had a girlfriend since living in the compound so wherever that part of the rumour came from was completely untrue.
You had to get to the bottom of this.
You spent the better part of the next 2 days collecting bits of information from conversations between people around the compound. You found out that the rumour had originated from a conversation between Nat and Sam, which an agent had overheard while they were on their run. It had been twisted as most oral stories were leading to this big misleading idea that Bucky was unable to even get it up and that he was unable to please a woman. You were sure the latter part was untrue. You'd heard the way he moaned alone in his room - you were sure that you could cum just from his moans alone. He wouldn't even need to touch you.
You didn't think the rumour would affect you when Bucky got back. After all, you knew at least some of it to be false. But when he got back, his beard grown out a little because he couldn't shave it while he was away, you felt embarrassed. Not because of his supposed 'predicament' but because you felt as if you had found out something that you maybe weren't supposed to know.
Bucky caught on quicker than you would have liked. The night after he got back, Tony had thrown a little get-together to 'celebrate midsummer'. Realistically, Tony just wanted a reason to go out and drink with his friends. You had avoided Bucky most of the night - not necessarily intentionally, but Bucky still felt slightly hurt and more than a little confused.
He caught you alone on the balcony, looking out at the stars.
"Did I do something?" He said, sneaking up behind you and making you jump. Nervousness and insecurity laced his every move, worried that he had hurt you in some way that he couldn't possibly imagine.
You shook your head violently, scared to make eye contact with him. He lifted your chin, forcing your eyes to meet his.
"What's wrong?" You turned back to face the sky, embarrassment filling your chest. He laced his metal fingers into yours, "You know you can tell me anything, right?"
"It's stupid."
"No, it's not. Nothing's stupid, not if it's you." Your heart fluttered at his words.
Your eyes met his steady gaze, "It's really stupid." His eyes begged you to go on, "It's just that - um - when I got back I - um - heardthisreallystupidrumourandIshouldn'thaveletitgettomebutbasically -"
Bucky placed a hand on your waist, drawing small circles, "Breathe."
"Someone said you had trouble pleasing women." You let out quietly. If it hadn't been for his enhanced hearing, he probably would have missed you. His grip on your waist tightened, "Bucky?"
"Trouble pleasing women? That's a new one." His deep voice cut you to your core. You let out a small whimper as the arousal pooled in your panties.
Bucky didn't miss that either.
He grabbed your arm and led you through the party. No one gave you a double look as he lead you into the vacant elevator, slamming your floor number and pushing you up against the wall.
"Think I can't please a woman, huh? Think again. Don't think I don't know what you think about when you cum all over your hand, whining my name under your breath." You whined lowly at his words, feeling how he pushed his hard dick perfectly in line with your throbbing pussy, "Isn't that right, slut? That's what you are, aren't you? My perfect little slut?" You moan at his degrading statement, pushing your pussy further onto his cock trying to find some friction.
"So needy," He tutted, his condescending tone only heightening your arousal. The elevator door pinged and Bucky picked you up bridal-style, kicking the door to your room open. You regularly forgot to lock it while heading down to dinner - for once, both you and Bucky were glad.
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He dropped you on your bed, unceremoniously, eyes raking over you ravenously. The heat rose up your face, as you shifted under his unrelenting gaze.
"Oh baby, you don't how long I've been waiting for this." He leaned down locking your lips in a passionate kiss. His palm landed just above your knee, caressing up your leg towards your upper thigh. His hand slid under your dress, cupping your ass. He left a light squeeze, making you gasp into the kiss.
He leaned down, grabbing you with ease, flipping you both so you were straddling his waist. He tangled his flesh hand in your hair, the metal one possessively gripping your hip. He brought you down to his lips for another kiss - even when you were on top, he made sure you knew that he was in charge.
He toyed with the hem of your dress, eyes raking over you once again.
"Off."
You pulled the dress over your head, leaving you in your bra and panties. You felt seriously underdressed, especially considering Bucky was still in his jacket. He reaches up, joining your lips in another kiss, and reaching around to remove your bra. He tosses it to the side, running his knuckles over your pebbled nipples. You moan loudly, panties soaked. He takes his time pinching and squeezing your nipples, licking and biting as he went. The alternate sensations of one warm hand and one ice-cold heighten your arousal ten-fold. You buck your hips over his jeans, the sensation of his fly between your sensitive folds throwing you into overdrive.
His grip on your waist tightened once again. "I can feel your cunt throbbing, honey." You whimpered pathetically. "Go ahead, use me to get off. I know you want to."
Your hips started bucking off their own accord, clothed pussy running over the fly of his jeans. They started slow, getting a feel for what exactly you were doing. Bucky's hands started pushing you faster, setting a faster groove. The coil in your stomach began to tighten as your bucking became more erratic. You teetered on the edge of an orgasm when Bucky stopped you.
"Beg." He restarted your pace, faster and more erratic than before.
"Please, please, please, please, Bucky, please let me cum, please..-" You babbled, tripping and stumbling through your pleas. With a searing kiss, he gives you permission.
"I love you, I love you, I love, OH-" You fall off the edge of one of the hardest orgasms you've ever had, head empty with only one thing on your mind. Bucky.
You feel Bucky manhandle your body so your back is lying on the bed and he is towering over you. He asks you if you want to go on and all you can do is nod your head vigorously.
He chuckles, "I like your enthusiasm baby, but I need words. Can you do that for me?"
"Yes, YES!" You shout, breathlessly, already needing more.
He's fully naked and it's all you can do to not stare. He's definitely a well-endowed man, and he definitely has no problem getting it up.
"Like what you see?" He smirks, and you slap his thigh playfully. He pulls you further toward the edge of the bed and lines his dick up with your slick folds. He slides in slowly, holding your chin up so you keep eye contact with him. He watches as your eyes roll to the back of your head in satisfaction. You've never felt so full in your life. He presses into you slowly, feeling the way your tightness engulfs him, allowing your body to adjust to his size. You whimper softly as he pushes in - you never realised just how desperate you were for him.
"What's wrong, sweetheart?" He chuckles, watching as tears leak out of your eyes. His condescending tone was back, and all it did was make you hornier. You babbled incoherently, "Gone dumb already? What a cock-drunk little slut you are."
He trails a metal finger up the side of your torso, watching the goosebumps left in its wake. You whimper again.
"Such a needy little baby. Only I can take care of you like this, right? Only me."
"Only you." You affirmed, pressing a kiss to the arm near your head.
He pulled out almost entirely, before slamming all the way back in. You screamed in pleasure, and Bucky set a brutal pace. He pinned your arms above your head with his right hand, and his left hand came to wrap around your throat. The significance of that was not lost on you. He loved you enough to not hurt you, even with his metal arm.
"I love you, baby. You know that right?" Bucky looked you deep in the eyes, "You know I love you right?"
"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you," You babble back, lost in the throes of passion.
Bucky found your clit with his metal hand, pressing and flicking gently. You felt your muscles tighten for a second time, and you grabbed the sheets throwing your head back as you came harder than the first time.
Bucky came moments later, deep inside you with a loud moan. He pulled out slowly, collapsing next to you. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling yourself into his neck.
He chuckled at that, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into a bear hug. You stayed like that for a minute before he untangled himself from you and carried you to the bathroom.
He turned on the shower and you both stepped under it, cleaning the sweat and cum off your bodies. Your legs felt like jelly, so you leaned heavily into Bucky as he washed you off.
"Stay awake, doll, just for a second," He said, shaking you awake each time you dozed off in the shower.
Bucky pulled some of your clothes onto your body, before setting you down on the bed. He gave you a quick kiss to the forehead before promising to be back soon.
He snuck into his room wrapped in a towel, before throwing on the first pair of sweats he could find and dashing to the kitchen for a cup of water.
He snuck back into your room, to see you already dead asleep on the bed. He slipped under the covers, tugging you closer to his chest, and smiled.
Through your grogginess, you nuzzled into his chest. "I love you." You whispered, your lips resting against his heart.
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You woke up to the sound of soft snoring in your ear and sunlight streaming through the window. You smiled. You untangled yourself from Bucky's arms, disappearing into your bathroom to pee. You wash your face and brush your teeth before diving back into Bucky's arms.
Your legs were still sore from last night, but you didn't care. You were Bucky's and Bucky was yours. The very thought put a massive smile on your face.
"What's tickled your feather this morning?" Goddamn, his morning voice was sexy. You smiled and pressed a hard kiss to his lips.
Bucky smiled through the kiss. He picked you up by the thighs, carrying you while he brushed his teeth and splashed his face.
The compound was pretty silent, barely anyone was awake after drinking the night away. So, while Bucky made you pancakes for breakfast, you asked him the question, "Hey, Buck, where did the rumour come from?"
He looked at you, vaguely embarrassed, "You know that day, when me and Nat were gonna go down to train?"
You face flushed red, "When I walked out in my underwear?"
"Yeah," he chuckled, "I got a hard-on, like a teenage boy."
You stifled a laugh.
"So, Nat said, do I wanna go deal with it? And I told her I couldn't."
You looked at him confused, "Why not?"
"Cause of you," he said simply. You looked at him even more confused, "You were the only thing I got get off to. I tried everything else. Porn, erotica, even thinking about old sex. Nothing worked."
You flushed red again. "Oh god, I've weirded you out, haven't I?" You broke off his impending spiral with a kiss.
"I love you." You said, placing a kiss on his bare chest.
He looked at you with such love and reverence that you felt like you might combust under his gaze.
He kissed you again and all you could think was, "I love you, I love you, I love you."
I love you, I love you, I love you.
I love you I love you I love you.
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5K notes · View notes
romanestuffsposts · 3 months
Note
hi hi🐳
can you please do daddy!bucky x babyspace!reader (like the reader has a pacifier, a bottle, wears nappies) where daddy bucky is having playtime with the reader playing peek a boo with the reader knowing it’s their favourite game and he tickles them a lot because he loves hearing baby reader giggle and squeal and then he feeds baby reader a bottle and rocks them to sleep?
sorry if that’s weird or cringy 😔
Hi there love! 💜
No please, your request is perfect sweetie! Don’t think the things you want to see written are weird or cringe, the one you ask is really cute and I love it!
I Hope you like what I wrote for you ❤️
Enjoy <33
*****
Warnings : playful, tickles, teasing, kisses, pet names, diaper, sleepiness
Pairings : Daddy!Bucky x Little!Reader
Summary : It's your day alone with your Daddy today but sleepiness seems not to want to leave you. While he was changing you, he thought it could be fun to play a little game to waking you up... now you just have to protect your sensitive skin
*****
The morning sun is peeking through your window but apparentely it's not enough to wake you up.
About 30 minutes later, your Daddy walks inside your room and smiles when he sees you still sleeping. It's the second morning that your Papa is away for a mission and even tho he misses Steve, he loves having you for himself. He loves taking care of you.
He quietly sits on the edge of the bed and gently strokes your arm up and down with the tip of his fingers. You removed the cover in your sleep because it was burning hot in there.
You wiggle a little but still sleep pronfondly. he chuckles to himself because he knows you better than anyone and he knows how hard it is to wake you up.
He gets up and lies on top of you while groaning "waky waky, babygirl" he says in a funny way
You groan and open an eye "daddyy" you whine. He hummes with a silly smile. He knows he's being annoying and he loves it.
"get off" you whine again making him chuckle "rude little one" He rests his chin on your shoulder and tilts his head "i'm going to stand up only if your promise me that you'll get up too"
You groan louder "fineee"
He smiles and stands up. He watches you sitting on the bed and he can tell it wasn't easily, you really are tired this morning. You peer up at him with tired eyes and a little pout which make him smile. he tilts his head and walks to you, he lifts you up in his arms and you immediately wraps yourself around him like a koala.
"you need to be change baby ?" he asks and you nod your head. He walks in the bathroom and lies you down on the changing table. You let him change you and clean you, once he closed your beautiful purple diaper he looks back at you.
He frowns when he sees your beautiful eyes closed. He shakes your hips softly "little one" he sighs "it's not the time to sleep"
You moan and grimace but don't open your eyes "baby" he says less impatient now.
‘’Open those beautiful eyes or you’re gonna regret it, babygirl’’ he teases, trying to scare you.
He knows you won’t be scared but he wants you to play and he knows how to make you in the mood.
As he expected, your eyes stay closed so he tries something else ‘’let’s play a game’’
He opens your eyes with his fingers and chuckles because of the face you’re making. ‘’You have to keep your eyes open for the game baby’’
You groan but open your eyes, the call of a game too strong to go back to sleep.
You see your Daddy hiding his eyes and your eyes immediately light up. You absoutely love that game, you play it with your Daddy or Papa each time you're not in the mood.
They know how much you love it, it makes you feel little and you love it when they're playful like this with you.
He smiles behind his hands when he hears you giggle at the anticipation
"peeeeek aaaa..." he trails on, he feels you wiggling on the changing table at his teasing.
"Boo!!" he yells in his silly tone making you squeal loudly. He hides back his eyes with his hands and start all over again. He comes closer to you with his masked face and you bite your lower lip.
"Peek aaa.." He says more quietly than before but the teasing in his voice is still there.
When he says 'boo', his claws jump on your ribs and he shakes them. Your hands grab his wrists but you don't try to move them, you just laugh to hard for that.
He chuckles along with you and move his hands away from your senstive skin. He doesn't lose a time and hide back his eyes, your giggles are still leaving your throat because you knopw the game is about to start again.
He waits seconds before finally starting "peek aaaa.." He bend forward in a quick movement and yells "boo" loudly again before jumping on your skin once again.
You yell and harsh your back, this time he targets your sides and belly and the feeling is still the same than before ; torturous.
"Daddy toppp" You laugh. He notices from your tone that you had enough and decide to stop. It's all fun and games but he never wants to go too far, it's not the point of it.
He chuckles and kisses your belly button before putting on you your new diaper.
You're now all ready for the day with your Daddy
187 notes · View notes
cricket-reader · 11 months
Text
Broken Promises
Masterlist | A03 | Wattpad | Recommendations | Inbox | Taglist
Summary: the asset had promised you that he would save you, that he’d come back for you if he ever managed to escape. He didn’t come back for you. Something that both of you needed to work through if you ever wanted to heal.
Warnings: language, Bucky’s negative thoughts and self-hatred, miscommunication, captivity, Hydra, fluff
Word Count: 1672
Prompt: "Say something." | Rescue | Broken Promise | Weak
A/N: Day 13 of June of Doom by @juneofdoom
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I’ll come back for you.
I’ll never leave you here alone.
I promise.
You should have known better than to listen to promises from a person that couldn’t even remember his own name. Any reprieve from this treacherous life was welcomed, though. So you dared to hope. You stupidly dared to dream that there was a life outside of those bleak, dreary walls.
You heard about the Asset’s escape. A new hope lit a flame in your chest. He was going to come back for you. He was going to save you from the treacherous claws of Hydra.
As the months went by, however, your flame began to flicker out. He wasn’t coming. He forgot about you. He didn’t care enough to save you, maybe. Whatever the reason, you were stuck there. No one was coming to save you.
You couldn’t really find it in yourself to blame him. In your mind, you weren’t worth saving. He probably didn’t want to come back anyway. You sure as hell wouldn’t want to come back if you got out. You’d like to at least think that you would have come back for the Asset were you in his place, though.
But this isn’t what would you do. This is what would he do. Because you were still trapped and the Asset was free. In what would he do, saving you wasn’t a part of his plan. Clearly.
Briefly, you wondered if he could remember his name now that he was out of the metaphorical frying pan. You hoped he was. You hoped he was recovering. Because he deserved it.
You were not expecting to be saved. So when a dark skinned man burst into your room and led you to safety, you were overwhelmed. Someone had actually saved you. They risked their life for you.
But it wasn’t who you wanted it to be.
It was stupid. You didn’t have time to be picky. Whoever saved you, saved you and that should be enough. However, you couldn’t help but feel gutted. You thought you gave up on the hope that the Winter Soldier would come back for you a long time ago. The empty feeling inside of you said otherwise.
When they began therapy, you realised how weak you were. You couldn’t eat large portions without expelling it afterwards. You could barely walk without assistance, too busy trembling from malnutrition to be useful. You hated every step of recovery. Maybe you hated it so much because you thought that it would be you and the Soldier going through the aftermath together. In the cells when you daydreamed of a life beyond the walls you were kept in, you had thought he’d be there to support you every step of the way. But you were alone.
Sam wanted to beat Bucky up. It wasn’t an odd feeling, but this urge was stronger than usual. He understood when Bucky told him that he couldn’t go back to the place he was held in captivity. He understood that.
He couldn’t bring himself to understand why the hell he was being so chicken-shit about going and seeing you.
It was clear that he wanted to. Pacing in the hallway outside of your room, standing in the doorway for hours upon end, sitting right outside your door and never leaving. Bucky was just too scared to actually make it past the door to your room. Sam had unsuccessfully tried to “accidentally” push him in the room when he would stand in front of it multiple times.
It was really starting to get on his nerves.
One day, Bucky was napping in one of the uncomfortable waiting room chairs outside your room as he often did. Sam, absolutely fed up with his friend being a love-sick fool, too chicken shit to do anything, decided to push him into the room. It didn’t work.
Needless to say, even with his incredible strength, Sam was no match for a super soldier.
One of the nurses noticed what Sam was trying to do and decided to help. They got him into a wheelchair and wheeled him into the room. Sam dragged the exhausted super soldier out of the wheelchair and into one of the seats near your bed.
Sam thanked the nurse as they wheeled the wheelchair away. The nurse just shrugged, saying that they were tired of it too.
Sam followed the nurse out of the room, leaving the two of you alone.
When you woke up, you weren’t expecting to see anyone in your room. Much less the very man that had broken his promise and left you to pick up the shattered pieces.
You wanted to be happy. You really did. But how could you when he had torn away every last shred of hope you held onto? How could you ever forgive him for lying, for breaking his promises?
He looked good. Healthy even. You were happy for him. You really were. But you couldn’t help that ugly feeling of envy that crawled its way up your throat. It wasn’t fair. Not by a long shot. You knew it, hell he probably knew it too.
You sat in silence for what felt like hours before the man beside you finally came to. He jumped up, on edge because he didn’t recognise his surroundings. His entire body froze, seeing that you were in front of him. You looked at him before looking back out the window.
Bucky mentally cursed. You had seen him. He couldn’t just walk away and pretend it never happened… or could he? No! No, he couldn’t. That wouldn’t be fair to you. “Hey,” he said, scuffing the bottom of his shoe against the pristine tile.
“Uh… I meant to come see you sooner… I really did.”
He wanted to hear your voice again. He missed you so much. All those achingly long nights where his nightmares formed the most horrendous images of you being tortured without him there to protect you. It drove him mad. He tried to find you on his own, but he failed. He had to ask for help and he would do it again in a heartbeat if it meant you were safe; he despised asking for help, but he’d do anything for you.
“I’ve been here since you were admitted… I just… I couldn’t bring myself to… to come in and see you. Someone must’ve… they must’ve gotten me in here somehow…”
He was just saying nonsense at that point. Anything to fill the void. You hadn’t looked back at him. Your head still turned to face the window. He couldn’t blame you. Not really. He would hate him too if he were you. Hell, he does hate himself.
“I know I’m probably the last person you wanna see.” He had tears begging to be released in his eyes. He needed to hear you. He didn’t care if all you did was cuss him out or yell at him. Anything to hear your voice.
“Say something. Please…”
Your heart cracked, hearing his broken voice. Tears had already began to stream down your face. “You promised…”
His heart skipped a beat. He didn’t actually think you would say anything. He was convinced that you’d just give him the silent treatment. That, of course, would have been fine with him. He deserved it after all he had put you through.
“Why didn’t you come back for me?” You had to know. Although you wanted nothing to do with him and simultaneously wanted to wrap him in your arms and never let go, you just had to know one thing. The question you had wondered ever since that flame inside of you was snuffed out.
Bucky winced. In all honesty, he should have known that question was coming. It didn’t make it hurt any less, though. “I… it sounds so stupid, but I tried. I really did, doll. I spent months trying to remember where they kept you, hacking into all kinds of files—so much so that I probably would have been arrested if I didn’t cover my tracks. But I didn’t care because I needed to find you. You’ve gotta understand…”
He took a breath. “As soon as I remembered you, I did everything I could to find you. After years of searching I finally asked for help… that just goes to show how fucking desperate I was, god.” He ran his hands through his hair, starting to pace back and forth.
“I—I couldn’t bring myself to go get you. I had Sam do it with Torres because I was scared. I was a fucking coward! And you deserve so much more. I didn’t… I just didn’t feel worthy enough to save you.”
At this point, you turned to see his tear-streaked face. He continued pacing, not even noticing that you were finally looking at him.
“You had been waiting so long and I.. I failed you. I had taken too long to find you, and I was terrified that you’d hate me as much as I hate myself. But what really terrified me was the thought that you hadn’t made it. That I would get there and you’d be a bloody mess, cold and lifeless on the ground.
“My nightmares for the longest time had been filled with you dying because of me. I couldn’t bear to see it in real life.”
“Winter…” you croaked, heartbroken at his revelation. His head whipped over to your body, lying on the hospital bed and covered with yellowing bruises.
“It’s Bucky,” he sheepishly corrected.
A smile was brought to your face, and Bucky found himself thinking that he’d do anything to see that smile more often. “You remembered?”
He nodded his head, tears still dripping down his cheeks. “I did, I remember a lot now. While it’s not always a good thing, I thank every god above that I remembered you before it was too late.”
You felt heat rising to your face. “You’re still such a simp.”
“Yeah,” he chuckled, “but I’m your simp.”
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Taglist: @harleycao
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lightning-writes · 4 months
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good heart (faulty machine of a man) - 14/30 (icymi)
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chapter summary: bucky tries to find support (alternatively, bucky is a big flirt)
word count: 1880
tags: flirty!bucky, post endgame, pre tfatws, hurt/comfort, slow burn, mutual pining, friends to lovers, canon divergent, canon compliant, au
warnings: suicide mention, panic attack
a/n: icymi
“Do you flirt with everyone?” (The question surprises them both, but he sees the delight in her dark eyes.) “Are you jealous, James?” Her eyes search his unyielding face. “I’d flirt with you, but I don’t think you’d be able to handle it.” “I could keep up.” Her eyebrows shoot up at his sure tone; he shrugs.
AO3 / Masterlist
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harleyyjackson · 1 year
Text
The Winter Wraith: Chapter 35
Summary: the fight continues, Steve takes a shot at the Wraith
Word count: < 2k
Warnings: n/a
previous | next
Sweat and dust were clouding Steve's vision, grey blurring around him as he vaulted up the fire escape. A level above where Clint had gone to look for Natasha, Steve found himself nearing a large red door set into bleak concrete walls – the exit to the roof. He paused for a second, listening to the echoes skittering up and down the staircase: scuffling, which he assumed was Clint and Nat, distant doors slamming and the occasional squeak of a rat. No sound was coming from behind the door. At least, none that his enhanced hearing could pick up on. That either meant there was no fighting, or everyone was being considerate neighbours and keeping the yelling and screaming to a minimum. Only one way to find out.
Crouching behind the door, hand over the large metal bar, he waited only a second more for any sign of Tony, who had flown out a window after deactivating the bomb to presumably keep an eye on any Hydra aerial backup. But with silence his only companion, Steve could waste no more time.
Like an old man waking from a slumber, the door let out a protesting groan as Steve shoved open the door. Immediately, his hearing was muffled by fierce wind filling his ears, the sounds from the fire exit falling away to a distant backing track. The roof wasn't anything fancy, just a small plain of bare concrete with loose bits of gravel as the only decoration. There was no railing, only a knee-high border of stone. And in the middle of it all, her.
Strands of (h/c) hair had come loose from the careful bun, dancing vicious circles around her face in the wind. He didn't miss the blood dripping down her forehead, noting the injury and the presence of blood that wasn't hers. He hoped Nat was okay. Her black fighting gear, save the white blouse, was a stark contrast to the pale grey sky behind her, like a blot of ink against the page. Like a stain. But it wasn't the woman herself Steve thought of as a stain, it was more like a mark on his record, yet another person he had failed to save. But maybe this stain could yet be removed.
The thing that stood out most was the way she stood: relaxed, like she didn't have a care in the world. Her arms hung loose by her sides, clear of any weapons, and she had shifted her weight to her right leg rather than adopting a fighting stance. Her (e/c) eyes were clear and focused yet absent of the assessing glare he was so used to seeing on his opponents' faces. She wasn't scared – he hadn't expected her to be – but the blank canvas of her face was more disconcerting than even the looks of pure, blind hatred he so often received.
Maybe that was the exact effect she was hoping for, or maybe she truly didn't want to fight. Either way, he would not risk waiting for her to make the first move. With a secure grip on his shield, Steve took a step towards her.
And she took one back, head tilting quizzically to the side.
Steve stopped. Confused. There had been no reaction other than a purposeful step backwards. What game was she playing? Even if she was trying to lure him towards a certain spot on the roof, possibly to get him in view of a sniper hidden on a nearby building, he was content to keep the fight on the roof. It was a lot easier to get the job done when you didn't have to worry about innocent people getting caught up in the crossfire.
He didn't step any closer, instead turning his mind to the task of working out what her play was. Nat had said she was enhanced, but she hadn't specified how and hadn't replied when he'd asked. If she was anything like Wanda, there would likely be some giveaway before she used her powers: a spark of colour or the twitch of a hand.
Steve registered the whining groan of the door opening behind him and breathed a small sigh of thanks that his teammates had finally arrived. The footsteps were masked by the howling wind, so he could not determine exactly who it was. It could have been Wanda, or Clint may have already found Nat. He was tempted to turn around and check, but that would have been a fool's move.
The Wraith's gaze was locked on the door behind him, eyes widened slightly, and she took yet another step backwards, placing one foot on the roof's concrete border. He could just make out the footsteps getting closer behind him but didn't dare remove his gaze from the girl slowly bringing her hands up to her sides. It looked like she was going to surrender, and he wanted to believe that, but he had never met a Hydra agent who wasn't loyal to the end.
He opened his mouth to speak, but the wind was snatching the words before he could even work out what to say. Her hands were at her chest now, palms facing him in the universal sign of surrender. Only, her right hand kept rising, reaching towards her face.
She gave him a two-finger salute and stepped off the roof.
~
For a second, Steve stood there. Shocked. Then, he was racing towards the roof's edge, already knowing what he would see. Sure enough, there she was: landing perfectly unharmed on the asphalt parking lot stories below. He cursed himself for not seeing that coming. Of course, Bucky and he had literally jumped out of planes with barely a scratch, and this was only a couple of stories off the ground. "She's off the roof, I repeat-"
The clang of the bullet connecting with his shield penetrated the howling of the wind, reverberating through the crisp air. His body had moved before his mind, shielding him from the bullet soaring towards his heart. He took a second to process the scene before him: a flood of Hydra agents emerging from the fire escape door, some already scattered around the roof. The one who had shot at him stood slightly closer than the others, gun still aimed at Steve's chest. He saw himself reflected in the glass of the goggles the soldier wore to hide his face – a splash of colour against a greyscale cityscape. Like a drop of blood on the pavement.
Or a torch against the night.
Steve moved before the next bullet could be fired.
~
Tires screeching, seven or so black vehicles, ranging from cars to vans to a motorbike, pulled into the driveway before the building. One would collect their target, the rest would act as a defence, decoys, whatever was necessary to make sure the target lived, even if they themselves did not.
The building had turned into a ghost town, all inhabitants evacuated save for the lone heroes fighting for their city. The distant wail of police sirens permeated the air, but they would not come any closer. They would keep civilians – and the media – away, but this fight wasn't for them.
A lone figure sauntered towards the vehicles, completely at ease in the bustling building turned wasteland, as if she were a ghost herself. There was something artistic to her peculiar look, a mix of fighting gear and the sophisticated costume she had appeared in. It was as if every choice had been deliberate, from the way her hair was tousled from the wind to the splatter of blood decorating her cheek, like a macabre imitation of blush. She was calm, she was controlled, and she was going down.
A figure of red and gold swooped down like a hawk diving for its prey. Where his metal-clad feet hit the ground, barely five feet in front of her, the pavement collapsed with the force, forming a small crater. Behind him, another figure had flown into position, facing the vehicles with weapons raised. If the other man had been a hawk, this one was clearly a falcon. Back-to-back, they made for a fearsome duo. To the Winter Wraith, they made a distraction.
She was left with no choice put to pause, lest she fancied getting trampled under the weight of an iron suit. She did not know who they were, only that they were in her way, which made them enemies or obstacles. Either way, she had to remove them. She could feel the electricity humming in their suits, mere matter she could manipulate, but she could sense something else as well: they were not afraid of her. Like the man on the roof and the woman in the stairwell. It didn't matter. She was not afraid of them either.
~
They were outnumbered and outgunned, Tony knew that. Two against thirty soldiers, an enhanced individual and the firepower those vehicles were carrying was hardly a fair fight, but he had done much more with much less.
He had been about to intervene on the roof when the Wraith had simply walked straight off it. Rather than letting her get away, Tony had flown in to block her path to the cars and an easy getaway. Steve could handle the Hydra agents on the roof, and if he couldn't, backup would reach him soon. Sam and Bucky hadn't stayed long in the car park once the camera feeds had revealed the chaos erupting upstairs. Last Tony had heard, Bucky was somewhere on the ground floor and Sam's whereabouts had been a mystery until a few seconds ago when the guy had almost landed on top of him.
Now, he stood face to face with the threat that had dragged them all out here. With all the flippancy of a genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist, he aimed. "Did someone call ghostbusters?"
He fired.
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writersblockedx · 2 years
Text
Communication
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Pairing - tfatws!Bucky x Reader Summary - When your boyfriend, Bucky, finally blips back into the world after five years, you find that things aren't the same between the two of you anymore. Warnings - mentions of violence and death, angst Words - 1.8K
MASTERLIST
Things hadn't been the same since the snap. Bucky blipped. You didn't.
You spent five years trying accept the fact that your boyfriend wasn't going to come back. And, with that, you tried to move on. There was a moment when you actually felt as you were able to. A moment in which you were beginning to flash a smile which wasn't forced; you were able to forget for just a second of this lurking memory of someone dead. Then the avengers snapped their fingers and everyone who had once been lost came tumbling back into our world once more.
Now you and Bucky slept in different beds, different apartments, different cities. You couldn't look at him anymore. It was as if just a glance made water brim at your pupils and your body shake. He was still that memory that haunted you.
You distracted yourself with work. You worked every day, every hour, every minute. Just to move your thoughts from a certain 100 year old solider which taunted your mind. Yet still, the idea of Bucky crept in every now and again. No matter how hard you tried to push him away.
But there came a point where the boy was inescapable.
When Captain America was said to have died, the shield was handed to Sam. Sam had then passed it to the government who had made the decision of rebranding some other blonde patriot into the new Captain America. His name was John Walker. And he was the reason as to why you were waiting in the middle of a police station because Bucky had missed one of his mandatory therapy sessions.
"You can go you know, I don't mind waiting." You told Sam, the two of you both having become slouched in the rather uncomfortable seating.
Sam raised a brow back at you, "You sure? You and Barnes haven't been able to stay alone in he same room together since he came back." Had you not been in the situation you currently were in (or had Sam not been right in what he was saying), you would have had some kind of witty come back for him.
"I can handle a car ride with him, Sam, I promise."
The man still seemed hesitant. He seemed to be analysing the situation, weighing out all possible outcomes in his head before he made his final decision. "Fine, but if anything, and I mean anything at all, happens, you call me. Understood?"
A grin tugged at your lips as you mockingly made a salute gesture to him. "Yes, sir."
With that, Sam gathered his items and pulled himself from the seat. "Stay safe." Then he left and you were waiting alone.
You weren't sure how much time had past, only that at some point, your eyelids fell heavy and the uncomfortable seating didn't seem so uncomfortable anymore. And so you passed the time with sleep, unintentionally.
"Y/n." You shifted slightly.
"Y/n." Your eyes started to flutter open.
"Y/n."
Bucky was standing over you.
Suddenly, you pulled yourself up in the chair and brought yourself back to being fully conscious. "Shit, sorry." You mustered out as you gathered yourself and brought yourself up from the seat. "Is everything alright?"
He nodded, "Yeah, where's Sam?"
You didn't really want to say you told him to leave, that would leave assumptions. Assumptions of which you didn't want Bucky to be making. "He- erm he had to go." You lied, well, semi-lied. You were sure Sam had a million other things to be doing than waiting in a police station.
"Oh, Y/n, it's good to see you." A women, who you were sure was Bucky's psychologist, introduced.
Your eyes switched between her and the brunette boy. "Hi, is everything okay? Are we alright to leave?" You questioned.
"Not yet." She then looked to Bucky. "Condition of your release: session now."
You looked back to the boy who was in the midst of an eye roll. "I'll see you in a bit." You told him as you went to take back your seat once more.
You didn't get far. "You too, Y/n." The psychologist added, not even looking back at you to give you the chance to object. So it seemed you were given no choice. You glanced awkwardly up to Bucky who was already beginning to follow the women. You didn't know why you were to attend a session with Bucky, only that you knew it would involved some amount of confrontation.
Still you followed and found yourself awkwardly seated next to Bucky with Doctor Raynor staring the two of you down. She took a moment to evaluate the situation, similarly to how Sam had done before he made the choice to leave. "Look, you are one of the very few people in James' life-"
"We don't have to do this." Bucky jumped in.
That had only earnt him a glare from the women before she continued on - despite his objection. "And I'm sure we can agree that we all want you to stay out a prison cell. I think the key to doing that would be to have some communication between the two of you." She paused, glancing between yours and Bucky's pupils. "So, communicate."
The room was silent. Your eyes fell to the floor, the stiffness in the room seeming to have devoured your thoughts. "Please, can we not do this?" Bucky was really asking now. It wasn't like a nag from a child who didn't want to tidy they're room, this was Bucky severely uncomfortable in a situation of which he was asking to open up in. You knew that. You knew Bucky. You knew him better than most people. So the slight change in his tone, or his movements, you noticed them and you could still remember what each one meant.
"Nothings going to change unless you have this conversation." God, she said that as if you weren't already aware.
You huffed and brought your gaze back up to Raynor. "Could we arrange this for a different time? I've got a group of reckless people who are stealing super solider serum." You tried to bargain, but it was more the act of beginning to avoid and push back whatever this conversation would be.
"We're not rearranging anything. The two of you are going to sit here and speak to each other like adults." There came silence. Neither of you spoke up, neither of you could even look at the other. So Raynor had no other choice but to keep going. "How about we try the miracle exercise? Think about had there been a miracle happen over night, would would that miracle be?" She gave a moment for the two of you to think before going back to urging them words out. "Anyone want to volunteer their thoughts?" Silence, once again. "Y/n? What would your miracle be?"
There was a pause as you thought over your words once more before finally looking back at Raynor. "That I never have to be put in this situation again." You knew what she was trying to do. Trying to let one of you take that first step in opening up, letting them walls down. But neither you nor Bucky were known to ever really expose yourselves.
Raynor shifted in her seat, "You know we're not going to get anywhere unless you're both honest?"
And so you sighed in defeat. You realised then you weren't leaving this room until you gave just a shred of your honest thought. "My miracle would be that James had never blipped."
Bucky's head shot up. James. It was comfortingly familiar to him. The last time he heard you call him James had been in the midst of the battle in Wakanda. You were searching for him through the woods as the fight came to an end. You yelled out his name. Over and over. When he didn't answer to Bucky, you yelled out for James.
He looked at you but you didn't look back at him. "That wasn't in my control." He defended.
"I never said it was."
"James," Raynor spoke as to bring his attention back to the exercise. "What would be your miracle?"
There was still a pause. Only this time, it wasn't as long of a pause. James had thought about this for a long time now. Toss and turned at night over it. "I just wish I can wake up and you would look at me like you used to." His words stung at your gut, you noticed the tone again, the utter misery that lurked in his voice.
And so you finally looked back at him. "A lot happened in them five years. I thought you weren't coming back, I had to move on."
"And did you?"
Another pause. Another moment of silence. Not even Raynor wanted to interrupt now. "No, I didn't." Your words were low and, like yourself, they were defeated. "But I am not that person I was five years ago and you can't expect me to be. Thing's aren't the same and they won't be any time soon. Us, together, it's not the same."
Another pause. Raynor glanced back over at her patient. "James, what do you think about that?" She pushed.
Bucky didn't look to her, he looked at you, as if Raynor wasn't even there. "I think you're just making excuses." And just like that, the boy gathered himself from the chair and made an exit. The room was in silence once again.
Swallowing, you let his words sink in and you were left with Raynor. "I'm going to-" You pointed to the door of which Bucky had just left out of.
The women nodded in understanding, "Yeah." And with that, you went after him.
Bucky was pacing the outside of the station. His thoughts found themselves racing and replaying the words of the conversation prior. It wasn't until you yelled out to him that he was able to break from his thoughts. "Bucky!"
His feet stopped pacing and he turned to face you in the street. "I'm sorry." You told him.
"No, no. I shouldn't have said that." Even if he thought that the truth, he believed he might have just crossed a line. "You were right, you're not that person anymore and I get that, or at least, I'm trying to."
At some point, you found that your palms reached up against his cheeks, softly brushing against his skin. "I think- I think that maybe, even though things have changed, we could still try. Try make this work, I mean." You suggested. "Maybe we find that it doesn't work. Or maybe we can adjust to this new normality."
You watched as the boy's eyes became tender and he seemed to fall into your touch. "I'd like that."
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noctumbra · 3 years
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peaches: nine [part one]
summary ─ “holy shit,” bucky breathed as he took in the sight before him. “happy fucking birthday to me, indeed.” 
pairing ─ dadsbestfriend!bucky barnes x reader
warnings ─ smut, +18, age difference (reader is 21, bucky is 39 40), secret relationship, birthday sex, vaginal sex, lingerie, kissing, pet names, dirty talk, d/s undertones, fluff, oral sex
a/n ─ for our buck’s birthday, i present you a peaches one-shot lol it’s been so long since i wrote them, i missed them sm <33 thank you nonnie for the idea 😌 there you go, part one, 3.9k words lmao hope you like it! please leave a comment if you do! thank youuu <333 
(the lingerie is veery similar to this one, by the way. minus the lace beneath the bra part and the string in the middle [attached to the neck] ++ this is the plug)
peaches masterlist
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Bucky wasn’t fond of his birthday this year. He was turning 40 and wasn’t exactly happy about it. Every day leading up to his fortieth birthday, he watched himself in his mirror, watched the grays and whites in his beard and hair multiplying and becoming more visible.
Although she said that she loved how they made him look even sexier, Bucky couldn’t help but feel a bit old. The age gap between them wasn’t an issue, they had discussed it before, but he just couldn’t help himself. Now that he was now 40, he felt self-conscious. He was old while she was young ─ 21, to be exact─ and he had grays in his hair and beard and lines on his face─
“Fuck this,” Bucky grumbled to himself as he frowned at his reflection on the mirror. He knew Steve and Sam were planning something for his birthday, they were never slick about it. He also knew his other friends would be there, too, and maybe his sister. He didn’t want to celebrate his birthday this year, but he had no excuse to use.
“Fuck this, Jesus Christ,” he grunted this time. Bucky walked towards his closet and picked out his usual dark jeans, dark gray henley and a black t-shirt to wear beneath. Just as he put on his jeans and pulled his t-shirt on, he heard a bang coming from his living room. He frowned at first, but then chuckled when he heard her voice: “I’m fine!” Bucky shook his head with a smile on his lips. She was the only thing that was going to make his birthday party tolerable, he knew it.
A minute later, she appeared at his bedroom door with his favorite smile on her face. “Sir!” She exclaimed, making him chuckle. “Today is your birthday! How is it feel to be old?” His mood deflating a little, he shrugged.
“I don’t know,” he said, “My back ache decided to take the day off. Ask me again when it comes back.” She laughed. Crossing the threshold, she threw herself on his arms.
“Happy birthday,” she whispered, her hot breath licking his neck and sending shivers down his spine. “I’m glad you’re getting old healthily.” Bucky snorted. “I don’t know what I’m saying, ignore me, please,” she murmured, a whine hidden behind her words.
“’s alright,” Bucky murmured back. “Thank you, peaches.” Giggling silently, she pulled back and looked at him. Bucky swore that none of the women that he used to be with made him feel this way just by looking at him the way she did: All cared about and loved. A smile took over her face, and she lifted herself on her tiptoes. Her soft lips found his gently. His eyes closing, Bucky held her close to him and let her kiss him.
She moaned into the kiss, arms wrapping around his neck while a hand dove inside his hair. Bucky walked blindly towards the nearest flat surface, which was the wall next to his closet, and caged her between his body and the surface. Pulling back for a breath, Bucky moved his lips down to her neck. He kissed her there so gently all the time because it was her sensitive spot: Always got her gasping and whining, and today was no different. He heard her gasp and swallow a whine when she felt his lips on her neck.
A pull on his hair, Bucky lifted his head and captured her lips again. He swallowed all the moans, whimpers and gasps she let out. She felt so good in his arms, in his space, Bucky wanted to keep her forever and not being judged about it.
“Okay, I take it back,” she breathed when Bucky pulled back. “You’re not a old man, okay.” Bucky smirked.
“Oh, baby,” he said. “A kiss is nothing. You should see what I can do with the rest of my body.” She shuddered in his arms, and Bucky tightened his hold on her body.
“I’m aware of the capabilities that your ‘old man’ body has,” she grumbled. Bucky chuckled and lowered her on the ground. She fixed her clothes and hair, trying not to look like she just made out. When she was done, she lifted her head and kissed Bucky on the cheek. “Happy birthday, again,” she whispered. Bucky smiled. She kissed him on the lips one last time and pulled back. “I gotta go. I sneaked out, I was supposed to be helping Papa.” Bucky nodded.
“Alright,” he said. “I’ll see you tonight.” He frowned when she suddenly looked bashful.
“Yeah, I’ll see you tonight.” She smiled and fled. Bucky continued to frown after her, not understanding what just happened.
──
If Bucky had to be honest, Sam and Steve didn’t go overboard with his birthday party. It was low-key; there was Sam, Steve, Peggy, Sharon, Clint, Thor and her. Rebecca was supposed to be attending, too, but she had a last minute thing about work. She called him in the morning, and they already scheduled a breakfast date/belated birthday party for Saturday. It was nice. The cake had a small card saying ‘happy b-day gramps’, and there was exactly forty candles which Bucky knew it was Sam’s doing. He rolled his eyes playfully. It didn’t sting that much; he knew his friends were just playing with him because almost all of them were around the same age.
Bucky sighed quietly, breathing in the late night’s crisp air deeply, he closed his eyes for a second. He was happy. He had his family he called two days a week, his friends who were bunch of dumbasses but he loved them anyway.
He also had Y/N.
God, Bucky thought, recalling the memory they had about having a future and a family together. He wanted to tell Sam and Steve, but he was truly afraid of their reaction. At the end, they trusted him with their daughter, they thought she saw him as an uncle not as a lover. When their relationship came out, it was going to be a shitshow, Bucky was sure of it. She was worth every trouble, though.
“Hey,” Bucky jumped lightly when he heard her. He beamed and his lips split into a smile.
“Hi,” Bucky said, silently inviting her to be close to him. She inched closer, almost snuggling up at him.
“How did you find your party so far?” She asked, nudging him a bit. Bucky shrugged. He liked it. It was fun and didn’t actually feel like a birthday party; it was more like a comeback together party.
“It was nice,” he ended up saying. “I had fun.” She hummed. “The candles were a nice touch,” he added and got a small laugh out of her.
“Yeah, they were my idea,” she admitted. “Papa loved it, though.” Bucky chuckled.
“Shoulda known,” he murmured. She smiled and snuggled against his arm. It took almost all of his will power to not pull her into his arms and cuddle her right here. He knew he couldn’t do it, not when all of his friends were around let alone her parents.
“Can I come by your place tonight?” She asked. “I wanna give you my gift.” Bucky nodded absently.
“You didn’t have to buy me anything, honey, you know that right?” Bucky said, his voice gentle and low. She nodded and shrugged at the same time. “You can also give me your gift now, too, if you want.” She ducked her head down.
“It’s not that kind of gift, Sir,” she whispered, causing Bucky’s eyes widen. “I prefer to give it to you when we are alone.” Bucky licked his lips, swallowing audibly.
“Alright,” he muttered. “How about 1AM?”
“That’s fine,” she agreed. She kissed his cheek before pulling back, Bucky immediately missed her warmth next to him. “I’ll see you then, Sir,” she said. Bucky nodded.
He felt like he was in for something and he couldn’t wait to figure out what it was.
──
Bucky returned home quarter to midnight, claiming that he was tired and stuffed full with sugar and its energy was finally wearing off. The others agreed; it was still a week-day at the end and most of his friends were working still.
He took a shower, trying to calm down and kill some time until 1AM. He was eager to see her, to have her company and enjoy it freely. It was hard enough to stop himself kissing her the way he wanted to after he blew his candles off, so some alone would do them good, Bucky knew it.
The more his will power was being tested, the more he thought about coming out clean to Sam and Steve. He didn’t want to hide their relationship. He wanted to take her out on dates without the fear of getting seen by some people Sam or Steve might know. He wanted to hold her hand, cuddle her on the couch or kiss her wherever and whenever he wanted to. He needed to discuss this with her first, though.
Mind full of ideas about how to tell them, Bucky stepped out of the shower and moved onto his kitchen after putting on only his sweatpants (no boxers, either, because they were gonna come off anyway). It was just half past midnight, and he had half an hour to spend by himself until she came. Bucky sighed as he grabbed a glass and filled it with water. He just stood in his dark kitchen, saved from the street lights sizzling inside through the window above the sink, sipping his water in silence.
He must have zoned out because he almost jumped out of his skin when he heard the shy knock on his door. Setting down his glass, Bucky ran towards the door and opened it.
“Hi,” she breathed, quickly stepping inside and letting Bucky close the door behind her. She had casual clothes on, sweatpants and an oversize sweatshirt, but she took his breath away anyway.
“Hi, baby,” Bucky whispered and watched her getting shy delightfully. When he stepped closer to kiss her, she stepped back.
“Um,” she started, “I-I prefer─ with your gift, uh.” Stammering over her words, she played with her fingers. “Give me five minutes, and then come to the bedroom okay?” Bucky opened his mouth protest, but she was quick to shut him up. “Please, Sir?” Exhaling defeatedly, Bucky nodded.
“Alright,” he said, and she disappeared. The curiosity was eating him alive, but he wasn’t about to go and ruin this thing for her. If she wanted to give him a private gift, then she was going to give it to him on her own terms.
Walking back to his kitchen, Bucky fiddled with his half-full glass, playing with the water and sipping it sometimes.
He never knew that five minutes could feel like five centuries.
After his time was up, Bucky walked towards his bedroom, his heart beating faster with each step. The door was ajar. The major lights were off, but she chose to turn on the ones on the sides of his bed, they were dimmed. It gave the room a warmer vibe. His curtains were drawn, and Bucky could pick out the clothes she was wearing when she stepped inside his house. He moved his eyes on his bed, feeling his lungs stopped working, Bucky froze. 
She was in the middle of his bed, sitting on knees. She had red lingerie set on her; the lace design bra was hugging her breasts nicely, the garter belt was around her waist and was attached to the thigh stockings and the matching underwear was carrying the same lace design with the bra. She looked so damn beautiful, Bucky didn’t know how to function.
“Holy shit,” he breathed as he took in the sight before him. “Happy fucking birthday to me, indeed.” She ducked her head down, shy and feeling a little bit self-conscious about her body. Bucky wasn’t going to have that. Not when she looked like a fucking goddess before him. He leaned forward, not getting on the bed, and grabbed her chin gently. Lifting it up, he found her eyes and looked right into them. “You look so beautiful,” he whispered. “I cannot believe you chose me, and you’re givin’ yourself to me as a gift.” She smiled. It was her shy and adorable one, Bucky loved it. “Peaches,” Bucky whispered once more. “You’re gonna give me a heart attack one day.” She chuckled.
“You promised me not to die on me until I’m right behind you, Barnes,” she whispered back, smiling widely. Bucky let out a soft chuckle and fully leaned into kiss her.
The second their lips touched, both of them moaned in relief. It wasn’t the first kiss they had shared that day, but this one was full of promises and things to come in the next few hours. So, Bucky half-climbed on the bed, cradled her face in his hands and kissed her the way he wanted to since the beginning of his party.
Her lips were so soft against his, caressing his slightly chapped ones so nicely, Bucky felt his heart flutter. She vaguely tasted like peaches, and Bucky pulled back just a tad to huff a laugh.
“You taste like peaches,” he whispered. She giggled.
“Yeah, I restocked my lip balm,” she answered and pulled him back into the kiss. Bucky groaned this time. Fully climbing on the bed, leaning over to make her lay on her back, Bucky settled between her legs. The kiss they were sharing went from soft to passionate quickly. Bucky’s hands were traveling all over her body as he tilted his face from side to side so that he could deepen the kiss as he wished.
“God, honey,” Bucky groaned as he lowered his lips to her neck. Kissing and sucking the soft skin there, Bucky rubbed his stubble all over her collarbones. He was about to move south, put his lips on her stomach and maybe give her an appropriate kiss on some place he knew so well, but she pushed him back.  
“My gift, remember?” She said when she saw the confused look on his face. “Lingerie was just a side gift.” Bucky raised his brows as he pulled back a bit more to give her space. She smiled and flipped on her stomach. Her knees drawn up, hands flat on the sides of her head and her face plastered on his pillow, she wiggled her ass.
Her underwear was fucking backless.
“Motherfuck─” Bucky hissed. “What the fuck. Oh my God, peaches, what─” His hands were moving before he could process, grabbing two handful of flesh, Bucky squeezed them. She whimpered. Bucky pulled back one hand and brought it back harshly, slapping her soft flesh, making it burn.
“Oh, fuck,” she whispered as she bit her lip.
“What the fuck─ is this─” Bucky’s eyes zeroed in on the plug nestled between her cheeks. It had a heart shaped base, red jewel adorning it. It looked so pretty, Bucky wanted to leave it just like that, but he also wanted to play with so damn bad. “Sweetheart. Are you sure?”
“Mmhm,” she hummed. “Wan’ you to do it, please, Sir?” She looked at him over her shoulder.
“Ah, fuck,” Bucky whispered to himself. She always begged him so pretty, never left a chance to say ‘no’, and this time wasn’t different. “Alright, baby,” Bucky said. His fingers pressing on the plug, pushing it a bit deeper. She moaned. She lifted her ass even more up in the air, and Bucky felt like he was dreaming.
Even if he was, this was the best dream he ever had, he was fucking sure of it.
Grumbling meaningless things to himself, Bucky grabbed the base of the cute plug. He could see how wet her pussy was, could see it glistening and wetting her inner thighs, and he honestly didn’t know if he wanted her pussy or her ass first.
“How long can you stay?” He asked, voice low. She sighed happily.
“’til seven,” she answered. She was half-slurring. Bucky hummed, knowing that he had a long time ahead of him to play with her properly, he got off the bed to take off his sweatpants. Sliding a finger under the garter belt, Bucky pulled and released it, making it slap her skin. Bucky watched her ass jiggle deliciously as she gasped lightly. He pressed kisses all the way up to her spine and reached into his drawer to pull out condoms. “Mm, no,” she said, “Got an IUD.”
“I’m loving you even more every second,” Bucky said as he dropped the condom back into the drawer, pulling an amused chuckle out of her. Instead of condoms, Bucky pulled out his lube and put it someplace easy to reach. “I’m gonna tell you what I’m gonna do to you, alright, baby?” She nodded. Placing a kiss on her nape, Bucky took a hold of her hair, pulling it a little.
“First,” he started, “I’m gonna kiss anywhere I want.” Doing as he said; he kissed her neck, her jaw, shoulder blades, spine and her sides. Then, he moved up to kiss her on the lips filthily. This kiss was all about spit and passion and owning, she fucking loved it.
“Then, I’m gonna get you naked,” he whispered. His fingers were quick to find the clip of her bra and undoing it. Sliding the straps of her shoulders slowly, Bucky helped take the bra off. “But I’m gonna keep these,” he said, slapping her ass with one hand while the other one cupped her pussy from the front. She moaned loudly. “The backside of this underwear…” Bucky murmured. “The way your ass looks so damn beautiful in it…” Bucky moved down to bite her ass cheek lightly, making her yelp. “I’m gonna fuck you in it, peaches.”
Dragging one finger all the way from her clit to her plug, Bucky hummed. “I’mma fuck this little thing, first,” he said, inserting two of his fingers into your pussy. “It looks too wet and cute for me to not touch it, y’know,” he added. “But I was thinking maybe I would…” He trailed off as he leaned forward and just licked a fat line up to her plug. She shuddered under his tongue.
“Anything,” she sobbed into his pillow. “Anything you want, Sir, take it!” Chuckling darkly, Bucky did exactly that.
He trailed his tongue up and down, collecting all of her juices that were licking out constantly, licking her inner thighs clean, Bucky pushed his tongue inside of her. She whimpered and wiggled. Bucky was quick to give her a slap on her ass; a warning for her to stay still. She meekly apologized and stopped moving. Bucky slurped, his tongue dove deeper and curved just right. She groaned long and loud, Bucky was so glad that he wasn’t living at an apartment or something.
He pulled back. He was way too impatient for eating her out properly. Grabbing a hold of his cock, he dragged it up and down for a couple times. When he was sure that his dick was covered with her wetness, he slowly inched inside of her.
She gasped, her breath getting stuck on her throat as she fisted the sheets and arched her back. As Bucky slid deeper into her, he felt like was he could explode anytime. She was so tight, so wet and so warm around him, it was like sinking deep into silk sheets in a warm night… It felt so damn good.
“Fuck, Y/N,” Bucky moaned. “You’re tighter than a virgin, I fucking swear,” he grumbled as he leaned forward to cage her body under his. When his hips were flush against her, he stopped for a second. He didn’t want to come too early, but he had been Horny as hell ever since he saw that little plug nestled in its place.
This one was going to be a quick, take-the-edge-off kind of one.
“I’m not gonna last,” Bucky whispered and felt her nod. She was close already, Bucky could feel her walls fluttering around him. His eyes rolled backwards a little when he started to move his hips. Her tight as fuck heat was wrapped around him so damn nicely, Bucky was a little surprised that he hadn’t come as soon as he entered her.
His slow pace didn’t take too long to turn into a desperate, fast and hard one. His hips were slapping against hers, their sweaty skin making obscene sounds echoing in his bedroom. He was so close, so horny, that it really didn’t take him too long to feel his balls tighten. Bucky buried a groan into her neck. His hips were moving on a punishing pace. His hard cock was driving in and out of her pussy with obscene squelching sounds. All those sounds and her moaning and whimpering beneath him were getting to his head real fast. Bucky gasped.
“Sir─” She choked on a breath and gasped just like him. “’m so fuckin’ close, Sir, please!” Her legs were shaking, her chest was heaving and Bucky could feel the flutter of her walls increasing and becoming more intense with each thrust of his.
“God, honey, me too,” he moaned. His pace was halting, he knew he was about to come. Groaning, Bucky slipped his fingers on her front and found her clit. She screamed. “Shit!” Bucky cursed as she came unexpectedly. Her knees buckled with the intensity of her orgasm and she collapsed on the bed with Bucky’s cock still hard and still inside of her. Bucky cursed again, taking a hold of her knees, he spread her legs to her sides. They were quivering in his hands, and he knew she was sensitive, but he was right fucking there. Lying fully on top her, Bucky started to move his hips again. It was a filthy and only focused on chasing his orgasm kind of pace, this time.
“Oh, fuck, Sir!” She exclaimed, eyes widening. Bucky was in deep. He was in so deep, her walls were so tight─
“Shit,” Bucky cursed. “Fuck, oh, God, ah, fuuck─!” The delirious movements of his hips stopped. His balls tightened, cock twitched in her and he came. Eyes rolling backwards, Bucky groaned loud and long. His taut muscles going lax, his hot breath licking her over-heated body and her tightness was still hugging his poor cock so nicely.
“God, Bucky, what the fuck,” she panted. Bucky hummed. He rubbed his stubble-covered jaw on her shoulder affectionately. Easing off of her, Bucky dropped himself next to her and pulled her into his arms to cuddle. “My legs won’t stop quiver.”
Bucky snorted. “You’re welcome,” he grumbled. She rolled her eyes but stayed quiet, burrowing herself deeper into her lover’s arms. Their eyes were closing, they were tired and much needed orgasm had loosened up their tensed muscles. “Round two in an hour,” Bucky slurred. “Gonna play with you.”
She just hummed and closed her eyes.
A little energy nap would do them good, she knew it.
──
[part two will be up soon!]
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Bucky Barnes Appreciation Week
Day 7: March 13th: Recovery #1
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Pairings: Bucky x Reader
Warnings: Angst, Mentions of Bucky’s past with HYDRA, Cursing, Fluff
Summary: Bucky is sent to Wakanda to recover and you’re with him, every step of the way.
A/N: I am doing two small drabbles/blurbs for ‘Recovery’. One is this one, which is fluffy with a happy ending but the other is pure angst. Pick whichever one you want to read; or even both! :)
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Bucky was exhausted, but ecstatic. Mainly exhausted.
Inside the hut, he held onto you like a lifeline, not that you minded. You curled into his left side, as his right arm wrapped around your waist. You cracked open an eye and squinted at Bucky and smiled at his peaceful, sleeping form.
Last night was tough to say the least. Bucky had gotten his trigger words removed completely, most credit going to Shuri.
He was finally free.
As much as you wanted to be there for him, you weren’t allowed, so you hand anxiously waited for him back in the hut, your foot tapping nervously against the floor. As soon as Bucky walked in with tear-stained cheeks, you walked up to him and wrapped him in a hug. You held him all night as he sobbed uncontrollably from happiness.
He was finally free.
You cupped his face as he smiled sleepily. He perked through his eyes at you, his smile growing wider. You stretched up and placed a kiss on Bucky’s soft, pink lips, his hand travelling up to cup the back of your head.
You broke this kiss before speaking, your voice barely a whisper.
“I’m so fucking proud of you.”
Tears welled up in Bucky’s eyes as he fought not to let them fall. You knew how much that meant to him, even though he couldn’t find the words to express it.
For the last several decades, Bucky had been through so much shit, being tortures, brainwashed and used as HYDRA’s puppet. He was blamed for things he was forced to do and suffer the consequences of HYDRA’s action and the world not understanding. He was dubbed ‘The Winter Soldier’, a name he despised. His nights were plagued with memories of HYDRA, his sleep cut short by the people who hurt him. No one deserved that. Especially Bucky. He was the most shy and gentle man you had ever met and you couldn’t believe that he was an ex-assassin when you first saw him.
Last night was memorable to say the least. Bucky was free from his trigger words that had haunted him for most of his life. The words that turned him into someone he was not and someone he didn’t want to be.
He was finally free.
Of course, this wasn’t all. The path was long, but you were going to stick with him, every step of the way. Bucky had to go to court-mandated therapy once he left Wakanda. You knew how much he hated opening up, even to you. It took a while before Bucky let his guard down so you were apprehensive how he was going to be in front of someone he didn’t know.
But you weren’t going to worry about that right now. All you cared about was being in the arm(s? xD) of your lover, proud of him keeping his head up despite everything.
And yes, it was going to be a hard journey,
but slowly,
but surely,
Bucky Barnes was recovering.
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Thank you for reading! This is really short and sorry this is so late.
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downbadf0rficppl · 3 months
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exposure therapy
Bucky x F!Reader
Summary: Bucky tends to avoid crowded spaces. He's afraid of something - either being recognised or being trapped or something else. He doesn't know. When you offer to help him get out of his comfort zone. He can't resist.
Word Count: 4.5K
Warnings: Creepy weirdo men (not Bucky), therapy, smut
Repost
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You dipped into the subway, dodging in between passengers - it was rush hour and the subway was disturbingly crowded. You scrambled onto the platform, praying that your train was slightly delayed so you could get on in time. It wasn't.
You stood on the platform as more and more peopled filtered, the noise building to a cacophony of miserable voices. You took a step back, trying to back away from the edge, when a man shoved you through the crowd. You stumbled forward.
A gloved hand wraps around your arm, pulling you back towards the middle of the platform and into a warm chest. You start to pull away, not keen to be leaning into a stranger. A familiar cologne hit you. You’d bought him that cologne. You looked up to see a welcome face.
Bucky.
A vicious scowl was etched into his face, his arm now firmly around your waist. You smile up at him, and he catches your smile, returning it with a soft one of his own. You reach to hold onto his hand as the train pulls up to the platform. You both step on, grabbing onto the bar and jolting as the train gets going.
Bucky leans down to your ear, “You okay, doll?”
His hot breaths elicit shivers all down your spine. You nod at him, unable to push any words out and he looks at your peculiarly. He’s never known you to be lost for words.
You met Bucky once he started his court-mandated therapy sessions. You were the receptionist at the clinic, and you knew Dr Raynor’s reputation for being thorough – although it was your personal opinion that maybe, sometimes, she could take it easy on some of her patients. Bucky was one of them.
You’d gathered a lot from the months that he had been going to therapy. The major thing was that therapy was the reason he was usually in such a poor mood. If he walked in in a bad mood, his mood when he left was positively foul. He didn’t like how Dr Raynor pried – even if that was, in fact, part of the point of his therapy.
You’d gathered that he was quite a lonely man. In fact, when he first started coming to therapy, the fact you smiled at him surprised him. He’d warmed up to it over it, and nowadays, when he came to the office, he greeted you before you greeted him.
You started finding jokes to tell, or little interesting facts – anything to make him smile. You offered sweets to the kids, words of warmth to the adults, and jokes to Bucky. It all worked out. He laughed at your jokes, in the same way the kids enjoyed their sweets and the adults appreciated to the adults.
Unbeknownst to you, Bucky looked forward to seeing you. He was surprised by your smile – but only how beautiful it was. He’d never seen pure sunshine until he saw your face break into a smile. In fact, the sun could go dark, but he knew that the world would only adapt to revolve around you. He knew that his already did.
On his birthday, you were the only person who gave him a present – a rather expensive cologne that you had splurged on. You wanted him to feel special. Turns out you didn’t need to go to those lengths. You were one of very few people who even knew it was his birthday.
Bucky made a point of buying you flowers from time to time after that – and you made a point of hiding them from Raynor. You didn’t want your budding friendship to be another thing she digs deep into. He also wore the cologne every time you saw him, which made you smile. At least he liked the gift.
He got off at your stop with you, even though you insisted he didn’t need to. Something about, ‘it’s on my way,’ and ‘I’d feel better if I knew you got home safe, doll.’ You smiled as he walked next to you, hands tucked into his pockets, leading the way to your apartment. You walked in a comfortable silence, the noise of Brooklyn blaring all around you
“How was it?” You asked, looking up at him.
“Hmm?”
“The subway. How was it?” You knew that Bucky generally got quite claustrophobic. He’d avoided the subway for the first few months of living in Brooklyn and, even now, only took it when he absolutely needed to.
He looked at you, his eyes full of amused frustration, “Could be worse.” He lowered his voice, hoping you wouldn’t hear him, “Was better ‘cause it was with you.”
You smiled, “Call it exposure therapy.”
“Exposure therapy? What’s that?”
“It’s where you face your fears by confronting them head on.” He looked at you, still confused, “You know how you’re scared of enclosed spaces?” He nodded his head, “Well, exposure therapy would put you in an enclosed space – like the subway – to confront your fear.”
Bucky nodded his head, mulling over your words in his head. It doesn’t sound like a bad idea.
You came to your apartment lobby, Bucky following you inside. You told him that this is where you left him, and that you’d see him next week, same place, same time.
You were heading toward your apartment when he stopped you, “You know the exposure therapy thing you mentioned?”
You turned back around, “Yeah?”
“Is that a real thing?”
You nodded your head. Bucky swallowed nervously, not sure how to ask the question. You read his mind, “You wanna give it a go?”
He nodded. You grabbed his hand gently, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles.
“You should probably talk to the professional about how to actually go about it,” you chuckled at how his face darkened at the mention of Raynor, “but I’d love to help you out. Whatever you need.”
Bucky watched you as you disappeared into the stairwell, smiling all the way.
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Just like you said, Bucky brought the idea of exposure therapy up with Dr Raynor in his next session. Surprisingly, she was almost immediately on board. She figured that it would be a good way for Bucky to get out of his comfort zone and confront some of his more irrational fears.
He immediately told you. You squealed – a sound that definitely shocked Bucky – grabbing his phone from his hand and adding your number as a contact.
He changed your contact to 'Doll' – not that it was necessary seeing that the only people that ever texted or called were Sam and Raynor. Guess you were another person to add the extremely exclusive club.
The next morning you dragged him to a coffee shop. Not just any coffee shop. The local Starbucks. You drag him in during the rush hour, holding his hand as he grumbles in the line.
"Did we really have to start this extreme?" He says, gazing behind and in front of him. You squeeze his hand, reassuringly.
"You'll be fine. Know what you want?"
You shuffled forward as another person moved out of the line.
The Starbucks worker sighed as you and Bucky walked up to the front of the line. You smiled at Bucky as he gripped your hand, unassuredly.
"Hi - um - can I - uh - get - uh... -" Bucky stumbled over his words. You ran your fingers over his knuckles soothingly, "cold brew - the smallest size."
The worker nodded his head, "that'll be...-" You drowned out his words as you stared up at Bucky's face. His face was still contorted in a grimace, but there was a glint of pride in his eyes. You gave yourself a mental high five.
Bucky paid for his drink and waited as you ordered an iced caramel macchiato with oat milk. Bucky wasn't sure he knew what any of that meant but he looked in awe as you complimented the cashier and made him blush. You had that kind of effect on people.
You grabbed your drinks and went to sit in Central Park, the sun streaming through the trees as you found a bench. You rested your arm next to his, keeping the contact between the two of you minimal.
"You like it?" You asked, staring him in the face. He took a sip and pulled a face.
"Too bitter." He said, sticking his tongue in disgust. You laughed. He celebrated internally, desperate to hear that sound directed toward him again.
"Really?" I thought you would have liked it. You know, given the dark and brooding look you've got going on." You deadpanned. He shoved you gently and you laughed again.
"Try mine," you said, handing over your drink and grabbing his. Yours was much nicer than his, sweeter and more milk too. He smiled in response and took another sip, "Keep it. I like cold brew." He tried to change your mind and hand you back your drink, but you were adamant.
"Let's play a game."
He looked at you, questioningly.
"20 questions."
He turned to face you.
"Rules are: one person asks a question both answer it...-"
"That's not how '20 questions' usually works."
"Well, that's how it works now. Also rapid-fire: you have to say the first thing that comes to mind."
"Ok, shoot." He leaned back, resting on his arm, occasionally taking sips from the macchiato.
"Favourite colour?" You went first, starting simple.
"Yellow," He said, not really thinking. His face blushed when his mind caught up to him though. You noted that for later.
"Mine's blue, like the sea." You responded, staring intently into his eyes. Bucky's eyes were blue, just like the sea on a stormy day. Easy to get lost in. Easy to get found in. Those eyes told you where home was. "Your turn."
"Ok, umm- favourite hobby?"
"Umm, I like painting. Helps me relax. Used to paint a lot as a kid, probably need to do it more often." Bucky stared at your lips as you talked, mesmerised by the way they move. "What about you, Buck?
"Me? Oh, I like reading."
"Oh yeah? What kind of books?"
"The Hobbit. Was my favourite back in the day. Read it with Steve all the time." He became quiet at the mention of his best friend, and you reached out to rest a hand on his.
"You wanna know my other favourite hobby?" Bucky nodded, meeting your eyes, "Helping my favourite super soldier get out of his comfort zone." Bucky's eyes lit up at that.
You stood up, offering Bucky your hand. He grabbed, faking back pain as he stood up. "Where to next, doll?"
"We're going grocery shopping." The groan that left him made you laugh out loud.
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You walked into the Target near the compound. Neither of you actually lived in the compound, but this Target was bigger than any of the Targets in the city. You figured the bigger the Target, the more likely it was that Bucky would get out of his comfort zone.
He grabbed your hand and squeezes it tightly. You smiled up at him as you pulled out a trolley. Bucky grabbed it from you, hands tightening around the bar. You linked your arm with his.
"Ready?"
"No."
You smirked, patting his arm, "You'll be fine."
You perused through the aisles, occasionally handing Bucky an item. If you were too short to grab something, he'd reach up over your head and grab it for you. You flushed at that - the feeling of being caged between Bucky made you feel safe. Like nothing could ever touch you.
You walked ahead of Bucky, leaning on your tiptoes to grab some eggs from the shelf. You grab the carton, placing it in the trolley. He looks at you lovingly, your cheeks blushing under his gaze.
"Excuse me, could you move?" An old man shoves past the both of you. Bucky's gaze immediately hardens. The old man continues to grumble under his breath.
He moves to say something, but you grab his hand, shaking your head. Bucky pulls you into his chest, leaning to press his lips to your forehead. Butterflies erupt in your stomach as surprise washes over you. Clearly, his actions caught up to him as he froze up, muscles tightening under your hands. He tried to pull away but you keep your face nuzzled in his chest, arms wrapping tighter around him. You smiled as he relaxed into your hug.
He leaned down to whisper in your ear, "Should we get going, doll? More things to buy."
You nodded but kept your hand in his. He smiled as you leaned into him. This was nice. He could get used to this.
You finished shopping, scanning your things through in the self-service. You didn't have that many items, but Bucky refused to let you pay, whipping out the card that Stark gave him, with the excuse that he didn't use it enough - especially, given the amount of money that Stark had put on it.
You were giddy. Your shopping trip was a success - Bucky now knew that supermarkets weren't even half as scary as he thought. In fact, he even smiled at a worker on his way out.
Bucky helped you load the two shopping bags onto his bike, before strapping the helmet onto your head. You could get used to this.
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After that day, you guys went out regularly. You tried restaurants and diners (Bucky preferred diners because it was less fancy and he felt more at home - "haven't changed much from the 40s", he'd said), you tried the gym (or rather, you dragged him to the gym with you on a random Tuesday morning when you had a spin cycle class - it wasn't that bad but Bucky stuck to training at the compound), you even took him to the cinema when they were showing a 'Lord of the Rings' rerun (Bucky almost kissed you when he heard the plan, but restrained himself - there was no way he was scaring you away now).
Therapy with Dr. Raynor became more bearable because it was just another excuse to see you. He'd put more effort into how he looked - combing his hair, keeping his beard trimmed how he knew you liked it.
Raynor picked up on it.
"I see your exposure therapy experiment is going well. What kinds of things have you been up to?"
Bucky stared out the window.
"James?"
He looked Raynor in the eye, before glancing at you through the window in the door. It was barely a shape, due to the frosted treatment on the window, but he knew it was you. He always knew.
"Shopping. She took me to the mall yesterday."
"That's a big step." Raynor said, noting that down with her pen, "How was it?"
"Wasn't that bad. We went into a shop she likes, then she asked me to pick a shop." Bucky looked down at his hands.
You had taken him into Sephora, promising him you only needed to get one thing. You run out of your favourite mascara and just needed to grab a tube. Bucky didn't know what mascara was, nor did he particularly care, but he followed you into the store nevertheless. You picked up the mascara you were looking for but kept milling around, looking to see if anything caught your fancy.
Bucky's hand found yours with relative familiarity, and you pulled him around as you explored. A man from across the shop gave him a sympathetic look.
You left Bucky for a moment to pick up a couple of face masks when the man from across the store made his way over. He patted Bucky on the shoulder amicably.
"Feel for you brother," he chuckled, moving past him. Bucky was confused.
You lined up behind him, mascara, face masks, and some liquid blush that you'd been meaning to get for a while in hand. You paid for the items, wishing the cashiers a good day. When you walked out, you asked Bucky where he wanted to go. It wasn't until you got to the clothes shop that he realised what the man meant.
He'd thought you guys were dating. The thought alone made Bucky want to smile. He gripped your hand tighter and didn't go for the rest of the trip.
Bucky looked up at Raynor and continued, "Then we got food and I dropped her home. Same as usual."
Raynor nodded, "Did it help?"
He shrugged, "I probably wouldn't go again. The mall isn't my kinda place."
"Why? Did something happen?"
"Too many teenagers."
Raynor smirked at that, "Any plans for this weekend?"
"Sam's taking me to a bar. Says we need a post-mission stress reliever."
Raynor nodded, "That'll be good for you, James. Enjoy it."
She stood up to open the door and Bucky followed closely behind. He left, wishing Raynor a good evening, before walking up to you with a smile.
"What can I do for my favourite super soldier today?" You asked, placing the sign-in/sign-out sheet in front of him.
"Maybe consider spending your Friday night at a bar with me?" He asked, nervousness hidden behind his confident facade. This was the first time he'd ever asked you on something resembling a date.
You saw through his front, "Is this just because you don't want Sam to spend the entire night trying to set you up with someone?"
"Maybe?"
You laughed.
"Is that a yes?"
"Sure, Buck. I'll go to the bar with you. Pick me up at 7? I'll send you the address."
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When you opened the door to your apartment, Bucky's jaw dropped. He thought he'd died and gone to heaven and you were the angel waiting to ring him in.
You smiled at his awestruck expression, patting his cheek before grabbing your hand and leading him to the stairwell he had just walked up. He followed you like a puppy.
He fastened the helmet tightly on your head, before speeding down the road, going as fast as you like it. You rest your head on his back, arms wrapped tightly around his waist.
You waltzed into the bar together, Sam's status as the new Captain America making it easy to skip the queue. You grabbed drinks - a cosmopolitan for you and an old fashioned for him. You teased him for his choice but Bucky just smiled.
You looked around for Sam, but he was nowhere to be found "Probably caught up doing Captain America stuff," you tell Bucky, whose eyebrows had been furrowed almost since you arrived.
You drag Bucky to the dance floor after two drinks, and you stay there for half the night, waiting for Sam to show up. You dance and dance and dance, teaching Bucky some new moves that wouldn't have been legal the last time that Bucky came out dancing with a girl. Bucky's phone buzzed in his pocket.
He leaned down to whisper in your ear, "Sam's calling, I'll be back in a second." You smile up at him, continuing to dance once he'd left.
Not minutes had passed, when you feel a presence behind you. Thinking it was Bucky, you turn around to smile at him, only to come face to face with a greasy smile. He placed his hands on your ass, and you shoved him away, walking towards the bartender.
"Come on, sweetcheeks. Let us have some fun." You walked through the crowd faster, not looking back. He was still following you.
Bucky. He was outside, he could help you.
You made a beeline for the exit, hoping that the creep was far enough behind you, you could get away unseen. You weren't so lucky. He grabbed your hand and pushed you up against the door, arm pressing against your breasts. The door gave way as you pushed against the release latch, causing you to both go stumbling outside.
Bucky was right outside the door, trying to call Sam back, when you came flying through the door. He instantly pocketed his phone, striding towards you as you backed away from your pursuer.
You bumped into his chest, immediately pulling away to face him. You relaxed when you saw it was Bucky, grabbing his shirt and moving behind him.
"You can't hide from me, you little slut." Bucky saw red.
He grabbed the guy by his shirt and pushed him up against the wall, flesh hand coming up to slap his face. "Don't ever call my girl anything again, you hear me?"
You preened at 'my girl', hoping that it was true, that you were truly and honestly his girl.
Bucky let the man go as a bouncer came around the side of the building. He nodded towards Bucky, who explained that "he tried to grab my girl, chased her out the building."
There it was again. 'My girl.'
The bouncer grabbed the man by the scuff of his neck and threw him out onto the curb. Bucky turned to face you, hands stroking the side of his face. He looked intently into your eyes, searching for a hint of pain or fear. There was nothing. All he could see was love, radiating from your gaze and warming him from top to toe.
You grabbed his face and pulled him down, your lips pressing onto his. He melted into the kiss, eyes closing as he took over, tongue slipping between your lips as you gasped. A small whimper escaped you.
"Doll, you're driving me crazy."
"Take me home, Barnes."
He practically raced from the bar to his bedroom, carrying you up every flight of stairs. He gently rested you on the bed, ripping his shirt and jacket off in eagerness. He crawled on top of you as you reach to attach your lips to his. The kiss is long, messier than before, teeth and tongue fighting for dominance. You pulled away for air, resting your forehead against his.
He kissed you again, excitement pouring off of him, before moving to kiss down your jaw and in between your breasts. He eased your top off, leaving you in your bra, and kissed down your belly button to the top of your trousers. He asked for your consent with your eyes, hooking his fingers in your waistband. You nodded vigorously. He pulled your trousers down, discarding them against the floor. You took off your own bra, throwing it into the pile of your clothes. His eyes were fixed on your breasts for a few moments before he turned back to your cunt.
He buried his face in your clothed cunt, his hyper-sensitive smell craving the scent of your arousal. He teased you with his metal finger, rubbing circles around your clit. You arched up against him, whines slipping out of your mouth.
Those sounds made the blood rush straight to his cock.
He swiftly pulls your panties away, throwing them nearby your trousers. He buried his face between your thighs, nosing at your clit as he licked stripes up and down your lips. You whined, begging for more stimulation, and Bucky happily obliged. He moved to licking and sucking your swollen clit, the ministrations making you shiver and shake as you call his name, moaning loud enough for his neighbours to hear. Your thighs clenched around his head, trapping his face in your cunt. He watched as your squirmed, eyes trained on your pleasure-ridden face. He grabbed your thighs, massaging them under his hands, liking the feel of the flesh of your ass in his hand. He felt more possessive of you than ever. This was his.
His fingers moved to work their way into your pussy, it clenching tightly at the intrusion and overload of pleasure. He moved his fingers in and out slowly, picking up the pace of his tongue on your clit. You arched your back again. He smacked your thigh, wanting to gauge your reaction - you moaned loudly and your cunt clenched around his fingers. He growled out how fucking good you taste and how good you are for him. Your cunt clenched again at his praise.
"Oh, you like that? You like being my good little girl?" You moaned in response, "Oh sweetheart, I could eat you out for hours. Look at how pretty you are shaking and shivering for me."
His fingers sped up inside you, pounding into you. You came with a loud moan of his name and a shudder, collapsing against the bed in exhaustion.
The flush on your face and your fucked out expression made Bucky's cock impossibly harder.
He grabbed a condom from the nightstand, and pulled off his trousers and his boxers, discarding them somewhere. His dick was hard against his abs, tip red and leaking. He rolled the condom down his dick.
He pulled you down to the edge of the bed, flipping you over. "Ready for round 2?"
You nod enthusiastically.
"That's my good little girl."
He slid into you easily, giving you a minute to adjust to the stretch. He started off slow, but quickly lost control, yanking your hips up to meet his relentless thrusts. The super-soldier stamina mixed with the way you made him feel, made him all the more driven to push you over the edge again. The sound of your pussy when he drove back into you made him groan, your tits bouncing at the force of his thrusts. He reached forward to play with them, flicking and pulling the nubs as he pounded into you. You moaned, your face buried into a pillow as he pulled your hips back against his.
Bucky lifted your back up to his chest, rubbing at your clit with his metal hand, the flesh one remaining on your tits. You pulled it up, curling the fingers around your throat.
"Oh, you're a dirty girl." He squeezed a little, loving how your pussy clenched at the oxygen deprivation. You came seconds later, shaking as he kept fucking you through your orgasm, telling you how you’re gonna give him another one.
He spilled his own load into the condom moments later, pulling out and pulling you into his chest, both of your hearts beating impossibly fast.
He helped you clean up, wiping your body with a wet cloth after disposing of the used condom, helping you into a pair of his boxers, and giving you a t-shirt to cover everything else.
"Not that you need to. I appreciate having some eye candy to look at," he said cockily, holding the shirt over your head, just out of your reach
You looked up at him, hands covering your naked tits, "Where's this cocky energy when we're out in shops, huh? Would've made exposure therapy so much easier."
He dumped the t-shirt on your head and shoved you lightly as you burst into laughter, pulling on the t-shirt before throwing your arms around his neck.
"S'only for you. All for you." He said, carrying you back into bed and wrapping his arms around you, "Always for you."
"Love you, Buck."
"Love you too, Doll."
fin.
buy me a coffee
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d0wnb4df0rf1cm3n · 1 year
Text
Exposure therapy.
Bucky x Reader
Summary: Bucky tends to avoid crowded spaces. He's afraid of something - either being recognised or being trapped or something else. He doesn't know. When you offer to help him get out of his comfort zone. He can't resist.
Word Count: 4.5K
Warnings: Creepy weirdo men (not Bucky), therapy, smut
AN: I'm sorry I make it seem like the Reader hates Raynor, it just kinda happened. Happy Wednesday y'all!!!!
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You dipped into the subway, dodging in between passengers - it was rush hour and the subway was disturbingly crowded. You scrambled onto the platform, praying that your train was slightly delayed so you could get on in time. It wasn't.
You stood on the platform as more and more peopled filtered, the noise building to a cacophony of miserable voices. You took a step back, trying to back away from the edge, when a man shoved you through the crowd. You stumbled forward.
A gloved hand wraps around your arm, pulling you back towards the middle of the platform and into a warm chest. You start to pull away, not keen to be leaning into a stranger. A familiar cologne hit you. You’d bought him that cologne. You looked up to see a welcome face.
Bucky.
A vicious scowl was etched into his face, his arm now firmly around your waist. You smile up at him, and he catches your smile, returning it with a soft one of his own. You reach to hold onto his hand as the train pulls up to the platform. You both step on, grabbing onto the bar and jolting as the train gets going.
Bucky leans down to your ear, “You okay, doll?”
His hot breaths elicit shivers all down your spine. You nod at him, unable to push any words out and he looks at your peculiarly. He’s never known you to be lost for words.
You met Bucky once he started his court-mandated therapy sessions. You were the receptionist at the clinic, and you knew Dr Raynor’s reputation for being thorough – although it was your personal opinion that maybe, sometimes, she could take it easy on some of her patients. Bucky was one of them.
You’d gathered a lot from the months that he had been going to therapy. The major thing was that therapy was the reason he was usually in such a poor mood. If he walked in in a bad mood, his mood when he left was positively foul. He didn’t like how Dr Raynor pried – even if that was, in fact, part of the point of his therapy.
You’d gathered that he was quite a lonely man. In fact, when he first started coming to therapy, the fact you smiled at him surprised him. He’d warmed up to it over it, and nowadays, when he came to the office, he greeted you before you greeted him.
You started finding jokes to tell, or little interesting facts – anything to make him smile. You offered sweets to the kids, words of warmth to the adults, and jokes to Bucky. It all worked out. He laughed at your jokes, in the same way the kids enjoyed their sweets and the adults appreciated to the adults.
Unbeknownst to you, Bucky looked forward to seeing you. He was surprised by your smile – but only how beautiful it was. He’d never seen pure sunshine until he saw your face break into a smile. In fact, the sun could go dark, but he knew that the world would only adapt to revolve around you. He knew that his already did.
On his birthday, you were the only person who gave him a present – a rather expensive cologne that you had splurged on. You wanted him to feel special. Turns out you didn’t need to go to those lengths. You were one of very few people who even knew it was his birthday.
Bucky made a point of buying you flowers from time to time after that – and you made a point of hiding them from Raynor. You didn’t want your budding friendship to be another thing she digs deep into. He also wore the cologne every time you saw him, which made you smile. At least he liked the gift.
He got off at your stop with you, even though you insisted he didn’t need to. Something about, ‘it’s on my way,’ and ‘I’d feel better if I knew you got home safe, doll.’ You smiled as he walked next to you, hands tucked into his pockets, leading the way to your apartment. You walked in a comfortable silence, the noise of Brooklyn blaring all around you
“How was it?” You asked, looking up at him.
“Hmm?”
“The subway. How was it?” You knew that Bucky generally got quite claustrophobic. He’d avoided the subway for the first few months of living in Brooklyn and, even now, only took it when he absolutely needed to.
He looked at you, his eyes full of amused frustration, “Could be worse.” He lowered his voice, hoping you wouldn’t hear him, “Was better ‘cause it was with you.”
You smiled, “Call it exposure therapy.”
“Exposure therapy? What’s that?”
“It’s where you face your fears by confronting them head on.” He looked at you, still confused, “You know how you’re scared of enclosed spaces?” He nodded his head, “Well, exposure therapy would put you in an enclosed space – like the subway – to confront your fear.”
Bucky nodded his head, mulling over your words in his head. It doesn’t sound like a bad idea.
You came to your apartment lobby, Bucky following you inside. You told him that this is where you left him, and that you’d see him next week, same place, same time.
You were heading toward your apartment when he stopped you, “You know the exposure therapy thing you mentioned?”
You turned back around, “Yeah?”
“Is that a real thing?”
You nodded your head. Bucky swallowed nervously, not sure how to ask the question. You read his mind, “You wanna give it a go?”
He nodded. You grabbed his hand gently, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles.
“You should probably talk to the professional about how to actually go about it,” you chuckled at how his face darkened at the mention of Raynor, “but I’d love to help you out. Whatever you need.”
Bucky watched you as you disappeared into the stairwell, smiling all the way.
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Just like you said, Bucky brought the idea of exposure therapy up with Dr Raynor in his next session. Surprisingly, she was almost immediately on board. She figured that it would be a good way for Bucky to get out of his comfort zone and confront some of his more irrational fears.
He immediately told you. You squealed – a sound that definitely shocked Bucky – grabbing his phone from his hand and adding your number as a contact.
He changed your contact to 'Doll' – not that it was necessary seeing that the only people that ever texted or called were Sam and Raynor. Guess you were another person to add the extremely exclusive club.
The next morning you dragged him to a coffee shop. Not just any coffee shop. The local Starbucks. You drag him in during the rush hour, holding his hand as he grumbles in the line.
"Did we really have to start this extreme?" He says, gazing behind and in front of him. You squeeze his hand, reassuringly.
"You'll be fine. Know what you want?"
You shuffled forward as another person moved out of the line.
The Starbucks worker sighed as you and Bucky walked up to the front of the line. You smiled at Bucky as he gripped your hand, unassuredly.
"Hi - um - can I - uh - get - uh... -" Bucky stumbled over his words. You ran your fingers over his knuckles soothingly, "cold brew - the smallest size."
The worker nodded his head, "that'll be...-" You drowned out his words as you stared up at Bucky's face. His face was still contorted in a grimace, but there was a glint of pride in his eyes. You gave yourself a mental high five.
Bucky paid for his drink and waited as you ordered an iced caramel macchiato with oat milk. Bucky wasn't sure he knew what any of that meant but he looked in awe as you complimented the cashier and made him blush. You had that kind of effect on people.
You grabbed your drinks and went to sit in Central Park, the sun streaming through the trees as you found a bench. You rested your arm next to his, keeping the contact between the two of you minimal.
"You like it?" You asked, staring him in the face. He took a sip and pulled a face.
"Too bitter." He said, sticking his tongue in disgust. You laughed. He celebrated internally, desperate to hear that sound directed toward him again.
"Really?" I thought you would have liked it. You know, given the dark and brooding look you've got going on." You deadpanned. He shoved you gently and you laughed again.
"Try mine," you said, handing over your drink and grabbing his. Yours was much nicer than his, sweeter and more milk too. He smiled in response and took another sip, "Keep it. I like cold brew." He tried to change your mind and hand you back your drink, but you were adamant.
"Let's play a game."
He looked at you, questioningly.
"20 questions."
He turned to face you.
"Rules are: one person asks a question both answer it...-"
"That's not how '20 questions' usually works."
"Well, that's how it works now. Also rapid-fire: you have to say the first thing that comes to mind."
"Ok, shoot." He leaned back, resting on his arm, occasionally taking sips from the macchiato.
"Favourite colour?" You went first, starting simple.
"Yellow," He said, not really thinking. His face blushed when his mind caught up to him though. You noted that for later.
"Mine's blue, like the sea." You responded, staring intently into his eyes. Bucky's eyes were blue, just like the sea on a stormy day. Easy to get lost in. Easy to get found in. Those eyes told you where home was. "Your turn."
"Ok, umm- favourite hobby?"
"Umm, I like painting. Helps me relax. Used to paint a lot as a kid, probably need to do it more often." Bucky stared at your lips as you talked, mesmerised by the way they move. "What about you, Buck?
"Me? Oh, I like reading."
"Oh yeah? What kind of books?"
"The Hobbit. Was my favourite back in the day. Read it with Steve all the time." He became quiet at the mention of his best friend, and you reached out to rest a hand on his.
"You wanna know my other favourite hobby?" Bucky nodded, meeting your eyes, "Helping my favourite super soldier get out of his comfort zone." Bucky's eyes lit up at that.
You stood up, offering Bucky your hand. He grabbed, faking back pain as he stood up. "Where to next, doll?"
"We're going grocery shopping." The groan that left him made you laugh out loud.
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You walked into the Target near the compound. Neither of you actually lived in the compound, but this Target was bigger than any of the Targets in the city. You figured the bigger the Target, the more likely it was that Bucky would get out of his comfort zone.
He grabbed your hand and squeezes it tightly. You smiled up at him as you pulled out a trolley. Bucky grabbed it from you, hands tightening around the bar. You linked your arm with his.
"Ready?"
"No."
You smirked, patting his arm, "You'll be fine."
You perused through the aisles, occasionally handing Bucky an item. If you were too short to grab something, he'd reach up over your head and grab it for you. You flushed at that - the feeling of being caged between Bucky made you feel safe. Like nothing could ever touch you.
You walked ahead of Bucky, leaning on your tiptoes to grab some eggs from the shelf. You grab the carton, placing it in the trolley. He looks at you lovingly, your cheeks blushing under his gaze.
"Excuse me, could you move?" An old man shoves past the both of you. Bucky's gaze immediately hardens. The old man continues to grumble under his breath.
He moves to say something, but you grab his hand, shaking your head. Bucky pulls you into his chest, leaning to press his lips to your forehead. Butterflies erupt in your stomach as surprise washes over you. Clearly, his actions caught up to him as he froze up, muscles tightening under your hands. He tried to pull away but you keep your face nuzzled in his chest, arms wrapping tighter around him. You smiled as he relaxed into your hug.
He leaned down to whisper in your ear, "Should we get going, doll? More things to buy."
You nodded but kept your hand in his. He smiled as you leaned into him. This was nice. He could get used to this.
You finished shopping, scanning your things through in the self-service. You didn't have that many items, but Bucky refused to let you pay, whipping out the card that Stark gave him, with the excuse that he didn't use it enough - especially, given the amount of money that Stark had put on it.
You were giddy. Your shopping trip was a success - Bucky now knew that supermarkets weren't even half as scary as he thought. In fact, he even smiled at a worker on his way out.
Bucky helped you load the two shopping bags onto his bike, before strapping the helmet onto your head. You could get used to this.
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After that day, you guys went out regularly. You tried restaurants and diners (Bucky preferred diners because it was less fancy and he felt more at home - "haven't changed much from the 40s", he'd said), you tried the gym (or rather, you dragged him to the gym with you on a random Tuesday morning when you had a spin cycle class - it wasn't that bad but Bucky stuck to training at the compound), you even took him to the cinema when they were showing a 'Lord of the Rings' rerun (Bucky almost kissed you when he heard the plan, but restrained himself - there was no way he was scaring you away now).
Therapy with Dr. Raynor became more bearable because it was just another excuse to see you. He'd put more effort into how he looked - combing his hair, keeping his beard trimmed how he knew you liked it.
Raynor picked up on it.
"I see your exposure therapy experiment is going well. What kinds of things have you been up to?"
Bucky stared out the window.
"James?"
He looked Raynor in the eye, before glancing at you through the window in the door. It was barely a shape, due to the frosted treatment on the window, but he knew it was you. He always knew.
"Shopping. She took me to the mall yesterday."
"That's a big step." Raynor said, noting that down with her pen, "How was it?"
"Wasn't that bad. We went into a shop she likes, then she asked me to pick a shop." Bucky looked down at his hands.
You had taken him into Sephora, promising him you only needed to get one thing. You run out of your favourite mascara and just needed to grab a tube. Bucky didn't know what mascara was, nor did he particularly care, but he followed you into the store nevertheless. You picked up the mascara you were looking for but kept milling around, looking to see if anything caught your fancy.
Bucky's hand found yours with relative familiarity, and you pulled him around as you explored. A man from across the shop gave him a sympathetic look.
You left Bucky for a moment to pick up a couple of face masks when the man from across the store made his way over. He patted Bucky on the shoulder amicably.
"Feel for you brother," he chuckled, moving past him. Bucky was confused.
You lined up behind him, mascara, face masks, and some liquid blush that you'd been meaning to get for a while in hand. You paid for the items, wishing the cashiers a good day. When you walked out, you asked Bucky where he wanted to go. It wasn't until you got to the clothes shop that he realised what the man meant.
He'd thought you guys were dating. The thought alone made Bucky want to smile. He gripped your hand tighter and didn't go for the rest of the trip.
Bucky looked up at Raynor and continued, "Then we got food and I dropped her home. Same as usual."
Raynor nodded, "Did it help?"
He shrugged, "I probably wouldn't go again. The mall isn't my kinda place."
"Why? Did something happen?"
"Too many teenagers."
Raynor smirked at that, "Any plans for this weekend?"
"Sam's taking me to a bar. Says we need a post-mission stress reliever."
Raynor nodded, "That'll be good for you, James. Enjoy it."
She stood up to open the door and Bucky followed closely behind. He left, wishing Raynor a good evening, before walking up to you with a smile.
"What can I do for my favourite super soldier today?" You asked, placing the sign-in/sign-out sheet in front of him.
"Maybe consider spending your Friday night at a bar with me?" He asked, nervousness hidden behind his confident facade. This was the first time he'd ever asked you on something resembling a date.
You saw through his front, "Is this just because you don't want Sam to spend the entire night trying to set you up with someone?"
"Maybe?"
You laughed.
"Is that a yes?"
"Sure, Buck. I'll go to the bar with you. Pick me up at 7? I'll send you the address."
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When you opened the door to your apartment, Bucky's jaw dropped. He thought he'd died and gone to heaven and you were the angel waiting to ring him in.
You smiled at his awestruck expression, patting his cheek before grabbing your hand and leading him to the stairwell he had just walked up. He followed you like a puppy.
He fastened the helmet tightly on your head, before speeding down the road, going as fast as you like it. You rest your head on his back, arms wrapped tightly around his waist.
You waltzed into the bar together, Sam's status as the new Captain America making it easy to skip the queue. You grabbed drinks - a cosmopolitan for you and an old fashioned for him. You teased him for his choice but Bucky just smiled.
You looked around for Sam, but he was nowhere to be found "Probably caught up doing Captain America stuff," you tell Bucky, whose eyebrows had been furrowed almost since you arrived.
You drag Bucky to the dance floor after two drinks, and you stay there for half the night, waiting for Sam to show up. You dance and dance and dance, teaching Bucky some new moves that wouldn't have been legal the last time that Bucky came out dancing with a girl. Bucky's phone buzzed in his pocket.
He leaned down to whisper in your ear, "Sam's calling, I'll be back in a second." You smile up at him, continuing to dance once he'd left.
Not minutes had passed, when you feel a presence behind you. Thinking it was Bucky, you turn around to smile at him, only to come face to face with a greasy smile. He placed his hands on your ass, and you shoved him away, walking towards the bartender.
"Come on, sweetcheeks. Let us have some fun." You walked through the crowd faster, not looking back. He was still following you.
Bucky. He was outside, he could help you.
You made a beeline for the exit, hoping that the creep was far enough behind you, you could get away unseen. You weren't so lucky. He grabbed your hand and pushed you up against the door, arm pressing against your breasts. The door gave way as you pushed against the release latch, causing you to both go stumbling outside.
Bucky was right outside the door, trying to call Sam back, when you came flying through the door. He instantly pocketed his phone, striding towards you as you backed away from your pursuer.
You bumped into his chest, immediately pulling away to face him. You relaxed when you saw it was Bucky, grabbing his shirt and moving behind him.
"You can't hide from me, you little slut." Bucky saw red.
He grabbed the guy by his shirt and pushed him up against the wall, flesh hand coming up to slap his face. "Don't ever call my girl anything again, you hear me?"
You preened at 'my girl', hoping that it was true, that you were truly and honestly his girl.
Bucky let the man go as a bouncer came around the side of the building. He nodded towards Bucky, who explained that "he tried to grab my girl, chased her out the building."
There it was again. 'My girl.'
The bouncer grabbed the man by the scuff of his neck and threw him out onto the curb. Bucky turned to face you, hands stroking the side of his face. He looked intently into your eyes, searching for a hint of pain or fear. There was nothing. All he could see was love, radiating from your gaze and warming him from top to toe.
You grabbed his face and pulled him down, your lips pressing onto his. He melted into the kiss, eyes closing as he took over, tongue slipping between your lips as you gasped. A small whimper escaped you.
"Doll, you're driving me crazy."
"Take me home, Barnes."
He practically raced from the bar to his bedroom, carrying you up every flight of stairs. He gently rested you on the bed, ripping his shirt and jacket off in eagerness. He crawled on top of you as you reach to attach your lips to his. The kiss is long, messier than before, teeth and tongue fighting for dominance. You pulled away for air, resting your forehead against his.
He kissed you again, excitement pouring off of him, before moving to kiss down your jaw and in between your breasts. He eased your top off, leaving you in your bra, and kissed down your belly button to the top of your trousers. He asked for your consent with your eyes, hooking his fingers in your waistband. You nodded vigorously. He pulled your trousers down, discarding them against the floor. You took off your own bra, throwing it into the pile of your clothes. His eyes were fixed on your breasts for a few moments before he turned back to your cunt.
He buried his face in your clothed cunt, his hyper-sensitive smell craving the scent of your arousal. He teased you with his metal finger, rubbing circles around your clit. You arched up against him, whines slipping out of your mouth.
Those sounds made the blood rush straight to his cock.
He swiftly pulls your panties away, throwing them nearby your trousers. He buried his face between your thighs, nosing at your clit as he licked stripes up and down your lips. You whined, begging for more stimulation, and Bucky happily obliged. He moved to licking and sucking your swollen clit, the ministrations making you shiver and shake as you call his name, moaning loud enough for his neighbours to hear. Your thighs clenched around his head, trapping his face in your cunt. He watched as your squirmed, eyes trained on your pleasure-ridden face. He grabbed your thighs, massaging them under his hands, liking the feel of the flesh of your ass in his hand. He felt more possessive of you than ever. This was his.
His fingers moved to work their way into your pussy, it clenching tightly at the intrusion and overload of pleasure. He moved his fingers in and out slowly, picking up the pace of his tongue on your clit. You arched your back again. He smacked your thigh, wanting to gauge your reaction - you moaned loudly and your cunt clenched around his fingers. He growled out how fucking good you taste and how good you are for him. Your cunt clenched again at his praise.
"Oh, you like that? You like being my good little girl?" You moaned in response, "Oh sweetheart, I could eat you out for hours. Look at how pretty you are shaking and shivering for me."
His fingers sped up inside you, pounding into you. You came with a loud moan of his name and a shudder, collapsing against the bed in exhaustion.
The flush on your face and your fucked out expression made Bucky's cock impossibly harder.
He grabbed a condom from the nightstand, and pulled off his trousers and his boxers, discarding them somewhere. His dick was hard against his abs, tip red and leaking. He rolled the condom down his dick.
He pulled you down to the edge of the bed, flipping you over. "Ready for round 2?"
You nod enthusiastically.
"That's my good little girl."
He slid into you easily, giving you a minute to adjust to the stretch. He started off slow, but quickly lost control, yanking your hips up to meet his relentless thrusts. The super-soldier stamina mixed with the way you made him feel, made him all the more driven to push you over the edge again. The sound of your pussy when he drove back into you made him groan, your tits bouncing at the force of his thrusts. He reached forward to play with them, flicking and pulling the nubs as he pounded into you. You moaned, your face buried into a pillow as he pulled your hips back against his.
Bucky lifted your back up to his chest, rubbing at your clit with his metal hand, the flesh one remaining on your tits. You pulled it up, curling the fingers around your throat.
"Oh, you're a dirty girl." He squeezed a little, loving how your pussy clenched at the oxygen deprivation. You came seconds later, shaking as he kept fucking you through your orgasm, telling you how you’re gonna give him another one.
He spilled his own load into the condom moments later, pulling out and pulling you into his chest, both of your hearts beating impossibly fast.
He helped you clean up, wiping your body with a wet cloth after disposing of the used condom, helping you into a pair of his boxers, and giving you a t-shirt to cover everything else.
"Not that you need to. I appreciate having some eye candy to look at," he said cockily, holding the shirt over your head, just out of your reach
You looked up at him, hands covering your naked tits, "Where's this cocky energy when we're out in shops, huh? Would've made exposure therapy so much easier."
He dumped the t-shirt on your head and shoved you lightly as you burst into laughter, pulling on the t-shirt before throwing your arms around his neck.
"S'only for you. All for you." He said, carrying you back into bed and wrapping his arms around you, "Always for you."
"Love you, Buck."
"Love you too, Doll."
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1K notes · View notes
romanestuffsposts · 1 year
Note
Your page is my favorite and I absolutely it and think you are so sweet! 💕💕💕
If it’s not too much trouble can you write a sticky’s little princess accidently cuts herself on something while she’s struggling to stay big and ends up needing stitches? 🥺🥺🥺
Hi there love! 💜
Thank you so much for everything! ❤️
I hope you like how i turned it, sweetie <3
****
Warnings : blood, little reader cutted herself, scared, angst, mention of blood (not detail), hospital, doctors, stitches, cries, pain, mention of shapes
Pairing : Daddies!Stucky ; Daddy!Bucky x Papa!Steve x Little!Reader
Summary : ⤴️⤴️
A/N : I didn’t edit it so I’ll do it later, maybe tomorrow lovers. Enjoy!
****
It was a long day, you love working, you love what you do for a living but sometimes even what you love can be overwhelming and that's the case today. Maybe you didn't slept well and were tired all day without really being award of it, maybe something happened and affected you without you noticing it, or maybe it's something else but whatever it was it got you tired and upset
You were even scared to drive back home, your attention on the world around you wasn't the best after work and you were scared you will be too distracted. You decided to call a taxi to go home safe. You'll call another one tomorrow morning to go to work and you'll take your car to go back home.
You sigh and throw your bag on the couch, you kick off your shoes and go upstairs to remove your work clothes. You grab Bucky's long shirt and Steve's jogging, the most comforting clothes you ever wore. You go back downstairs and even if a good and warm bath following by a nap make you the puppy eyes, you decide to start dinner so your men can relax and eat when they get back home after work in two hours
You may had a long and tired day, but maybe theirs were worst so you'll do that for them.
You get out the vegetables and the pans you need for cooking. You put water in the first pan and make it at boil while you put butter on the other but wait for the vegetables to be inside to boil the second pan. You grab a long and huge knife and start cutting the veggies.
You can't help but smile as you look down at the carrot you're cutting. When you were on the taxi, you remember looking out of the window and you saw a little boy smiling as he ate a carrot shaped like a dinosaur. He looked so happy. Your mother used to always make your food better. When you had to eat something you don't like at all she changed the shape to make it funnier or she putted something on it so the taste would've been better.
You gasp and hiss when you feel a huge pain in your hand. You let go of the knife and grab your wrist. You're breathing start to get heavier and louder, panic starts to make its way in you. You don't want to look down at your hand but you have to.
You slowly lower your gaze and let out a sob at the amound of blood you see on your hands and around it. Your hands are trembling from the shock of the wound, the deep wound. You start to go toward the staires to go in the bathroom but from the shock you feel dizzy. You help yourself with the things who are around you like walls or fournitures.
The blood fall down on the ground making it more risky to walk. Because you're still in shock, you don't hear the front door opening and the voice of you Daddies walking in the house. You keep making your way to the bathroom.
Bucky closes the door behind him and removes his shoes. He frowns when he doesn't see yours beside the front door like they ususally are. He walks to Steve to ask him where you could be if you weren't at home but he stops himself when he sees him walking and benching to grab something
"the little devil" he laughs as he grabs your shoes from the ground. Bucky relaxes and chuckles "why am I surprised ?" He chuckles as he watches Steve putting them beside theirs at the entrance. "she probably takes a shower, right now"
Bucky sats flat on the couch and hums "maybe we can join her ?" he chuckles smirking as he looks down at his phone. Steve lets out a loud laugh at that and nods "that could be awsome" he sighs as he rests his hands on the top of the backrest of the couch. He looks down at Bucky "but she had a hard week because of her father so maybe she needs this time alone a little" Bucky sighs but nods "you're probably right"
"I'm always right" Steve smirks making Bucky laughing "shut up"
Steve walks toward the kitchen with a silly grin on his lips. "grab me some water!" Yells Bucky from the living room. "yes boss" Steve mumbles as he opens the fridge to grab a snacks. He frowns when he doesn't see the veggies he brought the other day. He was sure they didn't ate it, maybe he's wrong
He turns around to grab the bottle of water but his frown quickly disappears as he gazes the counter of the kitchen. He lets go of his snack and walks to it. His gaze doesn't only fall on the veggies but on something red too. He looks up and sees Bucky chuckling at something on his phone, he looks at his right and sees drops of blood. His eyes fall back on the counter and they widen at the knife
Without losing a second, he runs up the staires and runs around the rooms to find you. Bucky looks up toward the noise of his husband as he runs toward the staires and frown "Steve ?" He stands up and walks upstairs
Steve runs inside the bathroom and is relieve to see you there but it doesn't last long. He rushes to you "Baby" he calls and grabs your cheeks to make you look at him. Your eyes fall in his and your swollen face from the cries is hurting him. "Baby what happened ?" he asks looking at you
You sniff and shake your head "Papaa" you cry. His eyes soften and he gives your forehead a kiss "it's okay, baby. It's okay" he reassures you "i'm here, you're not alone. Let me make it better, tell Papa where it hurts, sweetie" he calmly says as he strokes your cheek
He may sound calm but deep inside him, he is the complet opposite.
You cry and slowly show him your hand. You flinch away when he goes to grab you and shake your head. It hurt too much, you're too scared to be touch
He shushes you "i won't hurt you. I'll never do something who might hurt you, never. Do you trust me ?" he asks looking right into your eyes. You weakily nod and show him once again your hand
He quietly hisses and as he gazes the palm of your hand without touching it. The last thing he want is to make you more hurt or more scared than you already are
He stands up "come with me" he grabs the hand who aren't hurt and was about to pull you up when Bucky walks in the bathroom "jesus Steve. I looked for you in the whole house, why did you run like that ? Are you crazy or what ?" he says rolling his eyes "I knew you wan- Oh My God!" he squeals when he sees the blood on you. he rushes to you and ignores the glare of his husband. he knows that squealing isn't the best way to make you relax and feel safe but it came out of his mouth before he could stop it.
"What happened, little one ?" He says kneeling infront of you. Steve rests a reassuring hand on his shoulder and shake his head telling him it's not the moment to ask something like that.
Bucky sighs and stands up. Steve takes back your hand and Bucky helps you standing up. Your legs are still shaky from what happened so walking without help is hard
"we'll had to clean it so we can have a better look of the wound. After that we can decide what we'll do to help you. Are you okay with that ?" Your Papa asks as you all stand at the bathroom's sink.
Your big and teary eyes look up at him "hut ?" your voice cracks at the thought of hurting again. He tilts his head to the side and looks at you still with a lot of concern in his eyes "Yes it will. It will hurt once the water touches your injury but Daddy and I are here to help you through that. We'll make sure it won't last long. We promise"
You whine and shake your head "No. Don wanna" you start to squirm qo they'll let go of you "pwease" a few tears run down your cheeks
"Baby, look at me" Bucky says and turns your head toward him "look at me while Papa puts your hand under the water. Think about a moment we had all together who made you happy. Look at me and think about it" he says and rests your forehead against his "did you found our moment ?" he asks after a moment and you nod following by a sniff "good" he kisses your nose and looks into your eyes "are you ready ?"
You whine but nod and hide your face in your Daddy's chest. You don't want them to see you while you cry from the pain. You need to hide
You feel the water falling on your hand and after some seconds the pain starts to come back but more intensely than earlier. Your Daddies shushes you and reassures you while you bite your lips.
"it's over, sweetie. It's over now"
You look back at your Papa and sniff. Your Daddy tighten his arms around you while your Papa smiles down at you "you did so good, sweetness. We're so proud of you, you did a great job" he says kissing your tears away.
You give him a weak little smile and he sighs in relieve. He kisses your lips. Your Daddy lifts you up and carries you downstairs. He sits on the couch and rests you on his laps. Steve is quick to sit beside you and he takes your hand in his
They could've look at your hand in the bathroom but it was hard enough for you so they decide to look at your hand in a comfy couch, in a place where you feel good and safe
Steve peers up at Bucky and in one look they know what the other think and what they have to do.
Steve gets up and goes grab your shoes and your coat. He grabs his and Bucky's at the same time. He helps you putting your shoes on and your coat.
Bucky stands up with you in his arms once everyone is ready and they walk toward the car.
With one look of your wound they knew they had to go to the hospital. Someone needs to take a look at your injury
----------------------------
"The wound is deep. She needs stitches. She also had a nlood pressure drop at the time of her injury so we'll take a close eye on her and we'll see if she need to stay here for the night or no" Bruce says to your daddies
Bucky sighs and closes his eyes. They weren't prepared to here that. They knew you needed stitches but they didn't know there were more things behind what happened
"thank you Bruce" Steve grabs Bucky's hand "can we stay with her ?"
He nods "yes of course. You can follow me" He leads them to the room where you are waiting.
You want to stand up when you see them, they were gone for a long time and you were scared. You need them beside you all along. Bucky shakes his head at your attempt to get on your feet "stay sit, beautiful. We're coming to you, not the other way around" he gently says
You sit back down and Steve grabs your unharm hand and squeeze it "you see Bruce there ?" he points the man who is preparing something. You nod and look back at your Papa "He'll help you get better but for that you need to be a strong and good girl. It will be uncomfortable but you'll get better after this. We're here and we won't leave you. You'll feel us beside you the whole time"
You shake your head "don wanna hut" you say and Bucky nods "we know baby and i swear to you it's the last part. After that you'll get a lot of cuddles, a lot of kisses and a lot of rest. Deal ?"
Your head is toward the floor but your eyes peer up at your Daddy "wit nack and catoons ?"
Bucky smirks down at you while your Papa laughs "with snacks and cartoons, yes" he says and you nod even if you still don't want to do it.
Bruce comes back to you with a lot of stuffs in his hands which isn't ease your stress. He sits on a chair infront of you and takes your hand. Your Daddy grabs your chin and turns your head toward his "you'll feel a little pinch in your hand but after the pain will go away for a time. Are you ready, honey ?" Bruce asks
You look into your Daddy eyes and slowly nod. Bucky sees your eyes watering and his fingers find your back and he gently strokes it.
You let out a cry when you feel the sharp going in your wound. You want to pull your hand back to you but you can't with your Papa's hands and Bruce's hand holding you still.
Bucky whispers sweet words in your ear while Bruce starts to stitches your hand. You feel things but it's not really pain. It's something weird you never felt before.
Before you know it, Bruce bands your hand and gives you a lollipop for your courage. You gladly accept it but look at your daddies before. They nod their head at you so you grab the sweet and put it in your mouth immediatly
---------------------------------
"let us see again" Bucky says with a smile as he looks at you. You pull your hand out of under the cover and show him your bandaged hand. He and Steve smiles and praise youonce again for the way you were today.
"We're so proud of you."
"We never could have handle that.
"You're so strong"
You giggle and hide under the sheet to hide your blush from them. Steve and Bucky laugh at how adorable you are. Bucky's fingers find their way to your side and wiggle all around. You laugh and squirm under the couch while your daddies smile down at you
They're happy to hear your laugh after everything that happened tonight. They missed your laugh, even if it was just one day without hearing your sweet laugh, it was still too long. They can't live without hearing you
Your head plops up from under the sheet and you're silly grin is still on your lips. Bucky chuckles and pulls you against him. He wraps his arms around you and you hide your face in his warm and safe chest.
You feel your Papa's body behind you and his hands going around you "we love you, sweetness and you make us proud every day" He kisses the back of your neck
You're comfy, and warm in the only place where you feel safe. Between your daddies and their praises and comfort
205 notes · View notes
marvel-sluts · 3 years
Text
Request #1 - hey please can you do numbers 5/6 with Bucky Barnes x reader and make it extremely angst :) - @bonk-3
Request #2 - Hey do you think you can do 5 and 7 from your prompt list with bucky? I've been having a rough time lately and relapsed with my self harm and I love your writing if not that's completely understandable thank you! - @but-my-tongue-is-a-wepon
5 - Finds you self harming
6 - Finds you trying to commit suicide
7 - Finds you having a panic attack
Prompt list
The escape you craved
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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
Warnings: self harm, attempted suicide, panic attacks, swearing, angst, ⚠️don't read this if it will trigger you⚠️.
Summary: Bucky finds you self harming and makes you promise to come to him whenever you feel like that again, but after a bad day you decide that you don't want to bother him.
A/N: If anyone ever needs anyone to talk to I'm here, I know what it feels like to go through self harm and suicidal thoughts, but I promise you will be glad you stayed when you get through it. Enjoy <3.
«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»
The first time Bucky found you self harming was a few months after the two of you had started dating. You were sat in the bathroom with a blade held to your leg and blood dripping onto the floor when he burst in, his eyes going wide as soon as he saw what you were doing.
"I'm sorry." You choked out, tears dripping down your face as you dropped the blade onto the floor.
Bucky kicked the blade away instinctively, as you started to breathe heavy. Your heart felt like it was about to beat right out of your chest and you couldn't breathe properly.
"Hey doll it's alright, I'm here, I'm not gonna leave." Bucky said, wrapping his strong arms around your small figure curled up on the floor.
"I can't breathe Buck." You sobbed, you felt your chest tighten as you gasped, trying to get air into your lungs. It felt like no matter how much air you breathed none of it was getting to your lungs.
"It's alright, calm down, I've got you. Your having a panic attack, follow my breathing and it will pass." Bucky reassured, "breathe with me okay? In." He said breathing in, you mirroring his actions. "And out. Okay one more time, in." The two of you breathed in like last time, holding your breath for a few seconds. "And out." Bucky said, as your breathing slowly started to stabilise. "Good girl, you keep breathing like that and I'm gonna clean you up okay? Then we can get to bed." Buck said before going to the cupboard and taking out the medical kit.
He started swabbing your leg carefully, pausing slightly when he saw the deep scars that littered your skin but not saying anything. Your breathing had mostly returned to normal thanks to Bucky but you were still worried about his reaction to what he had caught you doing, what if he left you?
Within a few minutes your leg was bandaged up and you were in bed but Bucky still hadn't said anything about what he caught you doing. "Please Buck, say something." You murmured as he came out of the bathroom.
"I know what your going through, when I came out of Hydra I felt like I had nothing. Half the world wanted me dead and the other half wanted me locked up. Steve helped me cope and got me out of that dark place, and when I met you, I had a feeling everything was going to be okay. You and Steve have been there for me through everything, now it's my turn to be there for you." Bucky said, turning off the light and crawling into bed beside you. "Please tell me if you ever what to hurt yourself again. I'll always be here for you. Always." He said, wrapping his arms around you securely.
"I will" you whispered back, glad that you had Bucky by your side.
After that whenever you felt the urges again you would find Bucky and curl up on the sofa with him. He never pressured you into telling him what was wrong, but would always listen to you if you needed to talk. You would often do the same for him, if he was feeling insecure about his arm or having nightmares about what occurred when the winter soldier was in charge you were always there to reassure him.
You were always scared about bothering Bucky, that he would get bored of you and leave or that he would get fed up of dealing with your problems all the time. Because of this you would sometimes not approach Bucky about what you were feeling, you knew that you were being stupid but you couldn't shake the feeling that he would get irritated of you sooner or later. Thoughts like these often resulted in you curled up on the bathroom floor trying to resist the urge to drag the blade against your skin until blood was all you could see.
»»————- ♡ ————-««
You burst into the bathroom with tears running down your face, fingers shaking as you locked the door behind you. Everything that could have possibly gone wrong today went wrong. You had to give a presentation in front of the whole team today on the new type of weapon Hydra had that would be used against them in the next mission. You had already had a bad day mentally, so when you got up there you kept stuttering over your words, nothing coming out the way you wanted it to. Because of this the new person in charge of your devision had a very stern talk with you about how high the stakes were on the next mission, like you didn't already know that. Bucky was going on that mission and you were worried sick about him.
As soon as you had finished getting told off you had ran into someone carrying a lot of very important looking papers, causing them them drop the large pile. The man that you had bumped into was obviously in a bad mood. He had got pissed off at you despite your profuse apologies and, once he had picked up their papers, had stormed off down the corridor.
This then led you to running to your room and locking yourself in the bathroom before breaking down into tears. You felt so stupid having a breakdown over such small things, but your mental state today had been awful, and Bucky had been busy all morning so you hadn't wanted to bother him.
You hated feeling this way, you hated hating yourself so much and you hated knowing that you would have to live like this for the rest of your life because it's a chemical imbalance in your brain. The only thing that was going to make you feel like everyone else was taking medication for the rest of your life to survive in a world that you don't want to be in anymore.
Your gaze landed on the razor sitting on the side of the bathtub, these last few weeks you had stopped using it for anything other than its designed purposes. But in that moment all of the progress you had made was completely lost to you.
You grabbed the razor, not caring about how much your hands were shaking or where you cut, you just needed that release. Rolling up your sleeve you pressed the blade to your skin, slicing it in one long stroke. The effect was almost immediate, blood pouring from your arm all over the floor. You had cut deeper than you planned but you didn't care, if this was the end you embraced it with open arms.
Several cuts later you were beginning to feel lightheaded, the floor was patterned with a mixture of the tears falling freely from your eyes and the bright red liquid that was pouring from your sliced up arm. In the past you had always avoided using your arm for cutting but today you didn't care, you needed the release too much.
I wonder if they will miss me. You thought as you drifted in and out of conscious but just as you closed your eyes for what you hoped was the last time
"Y/n!" You heard faintly, causing you to open your eyes again. Bucky was standing over you, tears in his eyes. "Hold on y/n, I'm calling for help." He said.
How did he get in? Oh the door is open, he must of busted the lock. You thought, the lack of blood in your system making your brain go fuzzy.
"Come on y/n, fight it. Please don't leave me, I need you. I love you." Bucky said, falling to his knees beside you. "Don't close your eyes y/n, no keep them open."
You felt yourself being laid on a stretcher, presumably to take you to the medical room, and Bucky's voice assuring you that you would be okay as you let the darkness consume you.
»»————- ♡ ————-««
The first things you hear as you slowly come back into consciousness was the faint sound of a heart moniter and soft voices around you.
"Shes going to be okay." You heard Bruce say.
You heard your boyfriend breathe a sigh of relief at the news.
"She's going to have to go to some sort of therapy though." Bruce said regretfully, knowing how much you hate that sort of thing.
"She's not going to like that." Bucky said, "she told me that she didn't want to see a therapist when she told me about her self harm."
"I know, but hopefully it will help" Bruce said, as you slowly started to open your eyes.
"I'm not going to therapy." You said stubbornly, your voice scratchy from unuse. "How long was I out?" You asked.
"A few hours." Bucky replied, taking a seat in the chair next to you and taking your hand in his.
"I'll leave you two." Bruce said as you heard the sound of the door opening and closing again.
"Why didn't you come to me?" Bucky asked, looking hurt.
"I didn't want to bother you with it, I was scared that you would get fed up of all my shit and leave me." You mumbled, looking down shamefully. "I had a bad day, mentally and physically. Everything just seemed to wrong. I have everything I could want, an amazing boyfriend and amazing friends. I don't want to seem ungrateful and kill myself when there is nothing physically wrong, but the minute things started going down hill I realised that I finally had a reason for the escape that I craved." You explained.
When you finally looked up at Bucky you saw that he had tears in his eyes, he hated the thought that someone he cared about so much had to go through thoughts like these.
"Next time you have thoughts like this, please come to me and never be scared of it, I don't know what I'd do without you." He said, tears falling down his face. "We can talk about therapy later, for now, rest. Talk to me if you need to."
"Thank you Bucky, I love you." You murmured, suddenly realising how much he cared about you.
"I love you too doll, so much. Oh and Nat and Wanda brought you flowers and food to make you feel better." Bucky chuckled, wiping his tears before pointing to the vase of flowers and endless amount of baked goods.
"Tell them I said thanks next time you see them." You said, laughing as you finally realised how many people cared about you. You had so many 'get well soon' cards from the team that you didn't know what to do with them all.
"Now go to sleep, we can talk when you wake up." Bucky said, picking up on how tired you still were.
"Can you stay with me?" You asked timidly, not wanting to be alone.
"Of course, I'll always be here." He said, crawling into bed with you and pulling you into his chest, taking comfort in the feeling of you against him. If you had died he wouldn't know know to do with himself, in that moment he made a promise to himself that he would cherish every second he got with you. Today made him realise exactly how much you meant to him, and how short life was. He wasn't letting you go for anything.
As the sound of Buckys steady heartbeat lulled you to sleep you also made a promise to yourself. To always go to him, and not suffer alone. He needed you, and you needed him, you couldn't leave him alone. Maybe there was something worth living for, him, your friends, the team. They all cared for you, you realised that now.
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myowncase · 2 years
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The wisp sings | B.B
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The wisp sings
>Pairing: Bucky x WidowReader | Bucky x Reader | Mentions of The avengers and etc.
> Bereavement Hallucinations, Angst? Sad.. Mentions of therapy.
>Word count: 2191
I DO NOT CONSENT TO MY WORK BEING COPIED OR RE-UPLOADED IN ANY OTHER WEBSITES, I proof read this post so any wrong typings are on my end, thank you and enjoy. 😉
I was listening to the song The wisp sings, and got an idea for a new story..Events of this story are after the events of The End Game, with some changes here and there.
He enters his home, an apartment in Brooklyn close to where he grew up with Steve Rogers. Entering a space he shared with the love of his life. A typical Enemies to lovers type of love story as they called it.
“Doll, I’m home” and there you were sitting on the couch comfortably, smiling up at him.
She was an agent at S.H.I.E.L.D. A close knit with Natasha and Clint, them training together, growing together as they say. She was there, at the battle in Germany. The fight between Captain America and Iron Man. This fight broke her heart into pieces. She had to stand by Natasha Romanoff making her be in the Team of Iron Man, At the very end of the fight her and Natasha were face to face with the Famous Winter Soldier and Captain America.
“Don’t make me do this” as she shoots at King T’challa 🕊 also known as Black Panther. “Nat!” She screamed at the scene of betrayal she witnessed. “Go…bring y/n”.
Natasha knew what she was facing, she knew after what she did, they would basically be on the run and be fugitives. Yes, even y/n because her actions are Natasha’s and vice versa.
“No! I’m not leaving you here!” She reasoned as Natasha kept fighting off Black Panther.
“Y/n please just trust me..” and she did. Unbenounced to her she will be locked inside the quinjet as Captain America and The Winter Soldier will fight again, against Iron Man. And the rest is history.
They were brought to Wakanda. And now he’s James Barnes, there they wouldn't talk much. She is in the lab with Shuri, learning and helping through her discoveries. And Bucky being helped to remove the “winter soldier” in him.
One night, She was walking through the beautiful scenery of Wakanda. She stopped in front of the lake, with her enhanced abilities she felt like something was coming close to her, she whipped her head and prepared for a fight. “It’s—it’s just me” he said putting his hand out in defence, his other arm covered in a red cloth.
She released a tent up sigh, “I’m sorry I didn't mean to scare you” he said and turned around as if he was leaving.
“Don’t”.
He halted. “I- I didn’t have a chance to say sorry to you”. She knew the winter soldier. But she also knew James Bucky Barnes, being trained in the red room with Natasha, there were days where Hydra would loan out the winter soldier to train the widows. He would sometimes be the Winter Soldier and in some occasions of privacy He would be James Bucky Barnes in front of her.
“Sorry for what?” He turned around, now facing her.
“For the fight…I decided to fight against you knowing well enough that person was and will never be you”
“Do you remember me?” She slowly brought her eyes up to look at his Blue eyes that glisseded into the moonlight. For the first time in months of staying in Wakanda, no scratch. In years, decades of his life, he smiled a genuine and heartfelt smile. He stepped closer to her not missing the fact that she tensed up. “How could I forget..You were my doll”.
And that’s when it started. A beginning of a flourishing relationship.
——
Dusted…Blipped
“Steve?” Bucky asked as he looked at his arms and slowly disappeared..
As Natasha and Y/n went to the middle to meet with the others they saw visions Body laying there.
“Where is Bucky?” She asked, looking around, she already felt tears threatening to drop from her eyes..he looked at Steve and it clicked, he was one of those people who got “blipped”.
For five years she grieved. It took a toll on everyone..on her she lost the first man she loved..the memories kept flowing in her mind. Those late night talks beside the lake, playing around with the kids in Wakanda. Even going back to the city of Brooklyn to look for a home for the both of you..
“Are you sure? You want to do this?”
“Why wouldn’t I want this, doll?”
“This is a huge step Buck…You're finally back here at Brooklyn, a new life, a new arm” she teased, winking at him. “I’m more than ready, a life with you, starting over again with you…Will be the best thing I will ever do in my life” he snaked his arm around her middle and kissed her forehead and looked back at their new apartment, empty yet filled with so much love.
Then they got back to Wakanda given the news that Captain America needed help.
—-
5 years later
“C’mon y/n..open up!” Natasha said knocking at the door of her apartment as she was writing in her journal, of everything she has been doing everyday.
“What is it Natasha?” She said opening the door..she looked behind her friend and saw Clint..she gasped and ran towards him hugging his long lost friend who turned to grief after losing his whole family.
“I’m guessing you missed me?” He joked and she smacked his chest.
“We found a way,” Natasha said as she was placing tea on their cups. She tried not looking in her direction. Her eyes shifted to places. “Y/n we have hope..we can do this if-“.
“No Natasha- don’t.- don’t give me hope..” she said shaking her head. “I’m done..fighting..grieving everyday..don’t tell me you found a way and then—“ she stopped tears already flowing down her cheeks. “Then it will all be nothing.” Natasha reached to cup her cheeks..
“I'm sorry I didn’t do this sooner..”
“I can’t lose him again…” she said looking at Natasha “I know love…I'm sorry but we can bring everyone back, we can bring Him back”
—-
The fight with Thanos
“Bucky?” She saw him from a distance while everyone was fighting against aliens or whatever they were. He saw her and ran towards each other. Catching her in between in a hug that was filled with longing. “Doll..” he said with a shaky voice.
They released each other and looked at each other’s eyes. Her hands cupped every space of his face. “Doll I don’t know what happened..one thing I was in Wakanda fighting then I came back laying on the ground and-“ he was stopped as she placed a longing kiss on his lips. “I missed you my love”.
——
“Welcome home my love” she said, opening her arms, waiting for him to snuggle up against her. “How was your day?”.
“The usual staying home waiting for you” she answered brushing her fingertips on his now shortened hair. “How was your therapy?” She asked.
“It..it was the same..she said the same stuff…actually she asked about you” he said sitting up. She showed him a surprised smile. “Really!?”.
—-
“How are you James?” Doctor Raynor asked as she opened up her notebook. “You always ask me that,” he said spreading his legs on the couch as he cocks his head on the side. “And you always answer with a lie..”
“I’ve been good, I have my lovely girlfriend at home”
“Girlfriend? I have never heard of her before” he furrowed his brows. “I’m pretty sure I mentioned her once or twice”
“Tell me about her '' and, he did, all the things he loved about her..the things that made him want to still live in this society. You.
“Does she go out with friends?” His doctor asked curious of her, “uh—I don’t know..She..” he stopped thinking of the last time you talked to Natasha..or Clint..or anyone.
“She doesn’t like going out,” he reasoned.
“Have you talked to Steve? Or Sam?“ he nodded.
“Do they know this..girlfriend of yours?”
“Yeah…” he was offended. “Of course she’s friends with them too”
“Is this girl's name y/n, y/l/n?”
“Yeah, how did you know?” He was confused, you were off the grid, no socials, never going out due to the fact that you just fought an alien and wanted peace, Stopped fighting at all.
“Do those steps I told you about James…and please talk to Steve or Sam..”
—-
“She knew you, babe” he said now holding your hand, “how did she know you?” He asked, “James why don’t you call Sam or Steve, ask them to go out..” she changed the subject.
He stood up and put his hands on his hips “Babe…I’ve been working all day, all I want right now” he kneeled in front of her as she was still sitting on the couch, he cups her cheeks as she leans into it and smiles.. “ is to be with my girl” he said leaning forward kissing her lips for a long moment.
“I love you..you know that right?” She asked when they parted from their kiss. A sad smile appeared on her face. “Yes, of course I know..you always make me feel loved..your the only person that could do that”
“Don’t say that Buck- you got Steve, Sam, nat and that new friend of yours Yori” she said placing a hand on his chest and Bucky holding it still.
“You know my closet right? My journal is there, I wrote there everyday ever since you got blipped. I journaled every single thing I wanted to tell you for five…long years”.
“Yeah I know that..you told me not to look at it..”
“Baby..” again a sad smile appeared on her lips trying to hold her tears. “Doll..wha- why are you crying?” Cupping her cheeks. She took both his hands and kissed his palm.
“Baby..please call them” she begged.
“What? No I want to be with you right now”
“Bucky—“ she breathed out.
“Bucky, stop hurting yourself. ”
He shakes his head and furrows his brows. Brushing his hands on his hair… he stands up.
“Y/n what the hell are you talking about..” she stood up from the couch and walked to their shared room, he followed her. “Open this” she pointed to the drawer and as he opened it, he took out the journal. “Baby—you don’t need to show me this if you don’t wan-“.
“Bucky- i want you to read it whenever you miss me..okay?“
“Y/n what are you saying?” He placed the journal on the top of the dresser. “Are you okay?“.
“Promise me you’ll call Sam or Steve. And ask them to go out..okay?”
“Why-“
“Just promise me..”
“Okay- okay I’ll do it..”
“James..” She stepped forward holding him close to her, he relished in her smell, her hair was soft against his face that was buried in the crook of her neck. “I love you, and will always love you..but-“
She took his face and made him look at her. “Please-“
“Please let me go..”
He shakes his head..”no” he simply said.
“Bucky—you know I’m not here anymore, you know I’m fine my love please”
He stepped back. “No! Stop that!!”
“James”
“No y/n! You are here..in front of me even!”
She stayed silent, he knows you're gone but he still lives with you in his twisted grieving way.
“No…please” he begged
“Bucky- I love you and I promise you we’ll meet again but for now my love..let me go”
“I can’t-“ he’s now sobbing as she wipes his tears away and gives a smile. “You can..it will be hard but you can my love”.
“Do your promise and call them okay?” He was shaking, his head low sobbing. “Bucky-“
“Don’t leave me..” he looked up at her, she was beautiful, smiling back at him like nothing was wrong. Like he felt safe just by seeing her smile. A smile that’s plastered everywhere in the apartment with their pictures.
“I won’t..” she placed a kiss on his forehead. “Call them..”
He nodded and dialled on his phone, Steve’s number appeared as it was ringing, waiting for him to answer. “I’m doing it right now doll-“.
“Doll?” He looked back up and she was gone.
“Buck?” Steve on the other line. Bucky couldn't hear anything; he was lost, broken and grieving for your loss.
“Y/n? Y/n!? Doll I did what you asked…” he said searching for you, phone still against his ear.
“Bucky..are you okay?—bucky?”.
“Y/n!!..” Steve continued to call out his friends name until he notices him
“Steve…Steve” he Breaths in between his sobs.
“Steve she’s gone”. A sigh can be heard from the other line.. “I know buck…I know”
“I’ll be there in Five Bucky..okay? Stay in the line for me..”
END
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Hope I didn't break your itty bitty hearts. Please don't forget to heart and re-blog my post if you liked it, and please follow me hehe don't be shy to ask questions or request some fics i could do, Thank you. -JD
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lightning-writes · 11 months
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good heart (faulty machine of a man) - 12/30
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fic summary: bucky meets someone at therapy
chapter summary: is this what hope feels like?
word count: 566 (a little baby chapter bc it's a part 1)
tags: post endgame, pre tfatws, hurt/comfort, slow burn, canon divergent, canon compliant, au
warnings: none
a/n:
AO3 / MASTERLIST / X
November 11 (Part 1)
“Okay, man, who’s the girl?”
Bucky nearly startles his phone out of his hand. 
(Rue had texted him, asking him to ‘save her from the throes of capitalism’, and Bucky couldn’t help but smirk at how dramatic she was.)
Sam glances over with a knowing look, feigning a grab for the phone. Bucky quickly tucks it away as Sam laughs.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Dude, you’ve been staring at your phone for the past twenty minutes,” Sam scoffs, keeping his eyes on the road, “and even though I know you have a staring problem, it’s usually reserved for people you hate.”
Bucky hits him with a long glare, punctuating his point.
“Exactly.” Sam is unfazed. “What’s her name? How did you meet?”
(The car feels smaller, the car ride to the VA feeling like a long, laborious trek.)
Bucky wants to hold this information close to the vest. He nearly feels like Sam cannot be trusted with this information. But it’s Raynor’s stupid voice, echoing in his eyes, let people in, trust people, this is healing, that prompts him to tell.
Bucky gives Sam some key details - he met Rue at therapy, yes he goes to therapy as a condition of his pardon, no they aren’t dating, it’s not like that, they just started talking… Now, they are texting. Bucky doesn’t go into how patient she is with his questions or how she laughs with her whole face or how sharp she is in a conversation, witty remark after the next.
(He definitely doesn’t tell Sam how pretty she always looks, even when she hasn’t done her makeup. Or how more attractive her tattoos make her look or how thick her ass looks in her jeans. He doesn’t tell Sam that Fridays are the highlight of his week because of her or that, when he’s trying to fall asleep, he imagines the two of them together in more ways than one…) 
Sam parks the car in the lot and claps a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky allows it.
“If there’s anyone who deserves a break and a nice girl, it’s you, Buck. I’m glad you met her.”
(He’s glad, too. More than.)
////
Bucky used to go to VA events with Steve - for memorial day, veteran’s day, Thanksgiving, even Christmas - but no one really knew who he was. He was just Captain America’s good pal. And, now, with Sam as the Steve-appointed Captain America, Bucky expected it to be no different.
Sam has other plans.
Sam introduces Bucky to the veterans with a proud speech. Using words like brave, valiant, persevering. He says Bucky defied all odds, accepted help from his brother in arms, and understood his limits. Hearing Sam say these things makes his chest hurt - not just because of the memories but because of the embedded truth he hadn’t noticed before.
He sees some of the older veterans in the back sneer and look away. They are disgusted by this Hydra killing machine. Bucky understood that, deeply and intimately. If he could extract the part of him that brutally assassinated countless people, he would have.
But the others, the younger vets and handful of progressive older men, really looked at him. With hope. It’s something he barely remembers having, in others or in himself, even before Hydra, the Serum, or the arm.
(And it gives him a healthy dose of hope too.)
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