#except i was running super fucking late for work bc Life again
Note
- What I *want* to know if how to get to your home/when you're your most vilnerable but I'll settle for what's your favourite toy?
- I think I already followed you and can't remember why other than non-binary horror fan sexy. But I turned on notifications bc you reblogged something with me with cute tags.
- I'm thinking about how to disguise my erection in this skirt. (More SFW answer: what I want to change my middle/surname to)
- Compliment: you'd be an excellent protagonist in a horror movie.
- This or that: Never have (any kind of) sex again or get stuck in a 48 time loop (let's say Early November midweek)
- Advice: How do I take better nudes/make use of filters?
- Secret: (Always hate this question because I don't tend to feel shame/hide things) I have no idea what I'm doing with my life and just want to do dumb shit/enjoy myself before I die (but I can't help wanting to help others).
- Things I associate with you: violent sexual depravity, gothic vibes, semi-sexual cuddles.
- Anything! Unionise! The only way we're getting out of this is together so go help yoir neighbours, love one another, and remind your local politician that they work for you, not the other way around.
💜
A long one 💜 here we go
- I'm definitely not stoned enough to fully answer that but damn, hot, im basically vulnerable 24/7 but I will say when I'm super sleep deprived and toked up late at night / super early mornings would be the best time to sneak in and take advantage of my pliability / my fav toy is someone's mouth ;b
- awww im honored I made it to notifications on status haha 🥰💖
- you shouldn't disguise it, in fact you should show it off either in a post or in the dms ;>💜
- I gotta say one of the better compliments I've ever received 🥰 I like to think I'd look pretty hot running/fighting for my life while covered in blood
- this or that : I'd definitely go with the time loop honestly I think it'd be kinda fun to fuck around with and that time of year has the best rainy cold weather where I live, plus I'm h y p e r sexual so I'd probably implode if I couldn't cum or make someone else cum ever again
- honestly Idk why I get compliments about how I take nudes/selfies cause I just take a shit ton from different angles then pick like 3 I kinda like and play around with the filter settings 😅 all I can say is experiment with every angle possible, prop up and set a timer for photos and if your phone doesn't have that option snapchat and other apps do !
- i totally understand that and can relate maybe a lil too much haha (except for the shame part, thanks to anxiety and cptsd I feel shame just for existing 😮💨)
- well shit 😅 thank you that's very accurate but way to call me out lmfao
- Hell ! Yes ! We're all here for a good time not a long time and I'm always gonna wanna spread as much love and kindness as I can no matter what 💖
Thank you lovely for the ask 💜
#thank you anon 💜#feralbeeast ramble#finally some good fucking food#seriously i miss having a bunch of asks and interactions so i love seeing these in my inbox 💜#ask answered#nsft#nonbinary#pansexual#poly#sub leaning switch#dms and asks are open 🖤#alt babe
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friend of mine of 16 years is.....really, truly testing my limits.
we’ve been talking more lately which is nice
but the problem is
she lives in france and has this vibrant social life
and hasn’t been wearing masks. anywhere. at all. that i have seen.
meanwhile for the last week or 10 days or so, she’s been sick. like terribly sick. “hacking up a lung” as she put it, and it included a temporary eye infection. she also had bloodwork done that has a. Troubling value on it. that still hasn’t been addressed.
she had covid earlier this year.
and she has, she said, tested negative for covid this time. so it could be an early flu.
but.
regardless.
here’s what she’s done while sick (i didn’t even know she WAS sick until she TOLD me)
gone for runs, gone out to MULTIPLE restaurants with MULTIPLE people, gone to cafes, museums, and gone to a concert.
without a mask.
i literally just told her last night to take care of herself bc esp w the concerning level she got on her bloodwork, covid can have wreaked havoc in her system--and this ~minor virus~ can be anything but minor. any sickness can cause permanent lifelong disability, but ESPECIALLY now that she’s had covid before. i told her she should get some rest and take it easy.
so today she went to a cafe, multiple museums, and a concert, and then also went shopping.
meanwhile she told me “don’t worry, i’ll listen to you!”
and says she’ll have plenty of time to relax.......this week.
i’m exhausted. and seriously losing patience.
i just. am struggling to stomach this kind of behavior.
we literally talked on zoom a few times and i told her--i don’t have a life. I DON’T HAVE A LIFE. I DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE.
and she says
“don’t worry abt it, you’re not missing anything”
REALLY?
LIKE THE MUSEUMS, AND WALKS, AND INTERNATIONAL TRIPS (bc oh yeah she went to GREECE with a girl she’s dating!), AND CONCERTS, AND FANCY RESTAURANTS, AND FUN OUTINGS WITH FRIENDS???
I’M NOT MISSING ANYTHING????
fuck off SO HARD.
i’m just.
i’ve literally told her my new diagnoses. i’ve told her i’m struggling w meds. i’ve told her how sick w worry and stress i’ve been abt my mom having had covid (who also tested negative again yesterday w another pcr--which she only took bc now we’re vaguely worried abt the possibility that i have it--my test results still haven’t come back yet bc we had to do walgreens instead of health insurance which i just lost)
i just--when i said i was worried abt my mom and long covid, she tactlessly told me abt a friend of hers who’d had it and was asymptomatic, and now was having scary health problems bc of long covid.
i didn’t ask anything because WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
and despite ALL OF THAT
she is GOING IN PUBLIC, WITHOUT A MASK, WHILE ACTIVELY SICK
i’m just. i can’t understand or deal with this. and it’s taking all of my patience and ability to disconnect to be able to continue talking with her. like at this point i’m going to ASK if she was masking, if she’s feeling better, if she got any meds, if everyone else has been able to avoid catching whatever she has
i just
HOW CAN YOU BE THIS FUCKING THOUGHTLESS?!
it’s not like she went to WORK sick (which she ALSO did) just bc she HAD to, right? like capitalism, i get it. (except france has better laws around that and better pay so i’m sure she could’ve missed ONE day....)
like she is CHOOSING. to GO OUT. NEEDLESSLY.
WITH FRIENDS
WITHOUT A FUCKING MASK
and i’m worried abt her in addition to being so fucking EXHAUSTED. like do i even emotionally feel anger and fury? no. i’m tired.
i’m exhausted. i’m talking to someone who actively doesn’t care abt me and other people like me. who claims she loves me and is one of my best friends and has been for 16 years.
and that’s just impossible to reconcile.
and idek if it’s worth mentioning.
what’s super fucked up is that her dad just got done w cancer treatment. they caught it early, it sounds like he fared well, and he was declared cancer free last month.
but when she was there in august to visit her parents...
she went to a massive family wedding.
where NO ONE wore a mask.
and i’m like
YOU ARE LITERALLY STAYING WITH YOUR DAD WHO IS STILL IN CHEMO
AND YOU DIDN’T WEAR A *FUCKING* MASK!??!?!?!
how can you say you’re worried abt him and want to protect him and make sure he’s okay AND THEN PUT HIM AT COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY RISK LIKE THAT?!
like THAT could’ve KILLED HIM.
and i just can’t wrap my fucking head around it.
i don’t want to completely cut this off but i’m just. having to put up these walls and barriers.
i’m just. tired and frustrated. i’m just so fucking exhausted.
like.
the last time we talked on zoom she said she wanted me to be more open and honest abt shit that’s hard--bc part of masking and most of my longer friendships is that i don’t share anything. i’m not honest abt that stuff, i don’t like talking abt it.
well. i tried.
and she sucked at responding.
and i don’t mean that she responded in a way i didn’t like.
i mean she just sucked at it.
as in
me trying to talk abt a thing that’s hard and i’m really struggling
her response?
“that sucks. well, i don’t know both sides. but if you need me i’m here!”
....that’s what. i--i’m literally. i need you. i’m talking to you. YOU ARE THERE, SO DO/SAY SOMETHING??? AND STOP INSINUATING THAT I’M WRONG OR MY FEELINGS ARE WRONG????
or the best
“lemme know if you want to talk!”
THAT’S LITERALLY WHAT I’M DOING???? RIGHT NOW???? WHAT THE FUCK???????
meanwhile w her situation w her ex gf (who i hate--met her once, she was overdramatic and fatphobic and honestly i’ve been side-eyeing her abt that, and also turns out she’s extremely emotionally manipulative, so thank god she’s fucking gone) i had been listening and replying in-depth for WEEKS.
listening as she cried. supporting and validating her. asking if she wanted my perspective. offering it couched in distant language and being understanding and offering like, perspective without telling her what to do. supporting and reiterating her own decisions.
we have to talk via instagram dm bc international shit, and i fucking typed all that shit on my phone in IG messages--hundreds of words. each time.
and she’s doing better! she listened and did what she needed to do, and she thanked me, and it didn’t fix anything, but it helped. as far as i can tell. and she sought me out for that.
but i do the same w her and i can’t even get 10% of whatever her version of that would be.
and i’m not saying
“wow i invested all this into your mental health, why can’t you invest in mine?”
i’m not expecting a miracle. i know i haven’t shared w her before. i know she’s having to figure it out.
but when someone reaches out to you. and is struggling. and you ASKED THEM TO DO THIS.
you cannot reply
“lemme know if you need to talk! i’m here for you!”
and then NOTHING ELSE
and expect that to be okay!
i’m just really disappointed in her.
she’s always claimed i’m so important to her, like a sibling, a best friend. and it’s true insofar as--we can go a year without talking and then pick up and it’s like nothing ever changed. which is fine!
but i’m just. now thinking maybe it’s better like that.
bc i can’t emotionally or mentally deal with the kind of person she is when she makes these choices that are directly contributing to a culture that means i literally cannot leave my fucking house.
i was talking to her abt my job difficulties and she gave me this boomer advice
i said the place i wanted to apply wasn’t hiring anymore--she said, send in your application anyway.
i just LOOKED at her. like what fucking universe do you live in??? the 1960s??? what the FUCK?
it was just absolutely bizarre.
idfk man. it’s weird and unpleasant and i don’t appreciate how she’s saying one thing to my face and then she and her friends are going out and playing russian roulette w their lives and ours and they don’t give a fucking shit
it’s exhausting
honestly this is how most ppl i’ve known irl are behaving lately. it just stings more when i’m actively trying to maintain a close relationship w someone i’ve known 16 years and talking abt how the pandemic is affecting me and my life--
and she directly makes choices that make it even harder for me.
it’s just. i’m fucking tired.
like she sent me all these msgs all excited abt the concert, the museum, the cafe date, the new art supplies that she went shopping for.
and i just.
i can’t be excited with you. bc you did all of those things and you might’ve ended up killing someone or disabling them for life. bc you went out while sick and contagious with an unknown virus. in the middle of a mass disabling pandemic. that has lowered everyone’s immunity and damaged countless organs, including the brain.
and i’m just.
tired. i’m fucking tired.
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im a chef 😏
#haven't eaten a proper lunch for days bc Life yk and i saw we had bread this morning#except i was running super fucking late for work bc Life again#so i just put in whatever i liked in my eyesight which was peanut butter homemade apple jelly and fresh goat cheese#oh yeah and half a banana#it is Something#i like it but again what dont i like
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— HAIKYUU BOYS WHEN YOU PULL A APRIL FOOLS PRANK ON THEM
includes - suna rintarou, oikawa tooru, iwaizumi hajime and bokuto koutaro
a/n - don’t ask why i posted this a day late but pls enjoy <33
published date - 02/04/21
↳ SUNA RINTAROU
- sick of your bullshit 1.0
- he thought you just making his lunch like you normally do
- he often said that you didn’t need to but he always looks forward to lunch time when he gets to see what you made him
- so today when you made him lunch, he was not suspicious at all
- when he took a bite, he was like why? is? it? so? spicy?
- but he remained calm and just kept eating
- and by the time he was half way through his lunch is was sweating buckets
- his face was red, he was aggressively blowing his nose, sweat was dripping down his face and he was chugging bottles of water like it was nothing
- he didn’t even suspect that it was a prank, just that you have weirdly high spice tolerance
- his teammates were getting a little bit worried, seeing him stick out his tongue like a dog and fanning his face like his life depended on it
- yeah, you guys were gonna have a long conversation at home
- he had just finished his 4th water bottle when he received a text from you
lol text convo - sunas pov
m’lady: how’s the food baby? :)
me: why’s it so spicy
me: it tastes good but i think i’m dying
me: laugh out loud
m’lady: dang i didn’t think it would be THAT spicy
me: huh?
m’lady: happy april fools??
me: fuck you
m’lady: is that a promise?? 🥺🥺
me: shut up i’m crying rn
m’lady: then come home you dramatic bitch
me: i’ll remember this day you damn brat
- in conclusion pranking him sucks and he always gets you back for it
- except his pranks are 100% worse and probably emotionally traumatising
↳ OIKAWA TOORU
- this man istg he is so annoying
- this man is so needy and dramatic
- but that’s probably why you decided to do this
- he just has the best reactions for pranks
- yeah nah i have no idea what you were thinking when you decided to do this
- ditching a date with your boyfriend to hang out with your friends??
- um big mistake
“my love, are you ready for our dinner date yet?”
- yeah you weren’t, babes we going clubbing, but he didn’t know that
- and plus your outfit didn’t really speak ‘fancy dinner’
“oh tooru!! great, i need your opinions! what do you think of my outfit”
“darling, you look absolutely stunning, but a bit much for a dinner date don’t you think?”
“baby what? i’m going out with friends tonight, to the club, but don’t worry, i’ll be home early”
“my love?? we had a date tonight. did you forget? we’ve been planning this for awhile”
“tooru, what’re you talking about? i told you i was gonna go out ages ago”
“oh but-“
“oh shit tooru, i’m late, i gotta go, i’ll see you later okay? see you later my love”
- and you left, leaving your boyfriend heartbroken
- he literally dropped onto the floor clutching his chest hoping you would come home and see him, then cuddle him until the morning
- and there he laid for another 10 minutes in disgust
- how dare you leave your precious boyfriend for your friends
- you decided you were done pranking him so you enter your apartment to your boyfriend cracking open a new vodka bottle
“tooru!”
“oh... it’s you”
“um yeah”
“i thought you were going out with your friends. what? did you finally remember about the date with your handsome boyfriend?”
“tooru”
“no go away, i’m mad”
“april fools tooru”
- when i tell you this man gave you the biggest side eye
“hmph i knew that, i just wanted to see how far you would take the prank”
“okay baby, sure you did”
“pfft darling, don’t underestimate your lovely boyfriend, so come on let’s go”
“go where”
“cuddle, obviously, i still haven’t forgiven you”
- 4/10 dont prank him, he’s annoying
↳ IWAIZUMI HAJIME
- sick of your bullshit 2.0
- he swears you’re gonna give him grey hairs during his 20’s and let’s be honest you probably are
- he just worries about you too much
- he hates seeing you hurt, sick, stressed or just uncomfortable in general
- so you were hella cruel for doing this to him
*massive thud noise lol idk*
“OW, haji, HAJI it hurts please hurry it hurts so bad”
- all of a sudden your boyfriend becomes an olympic sprinter
“doll? what’s wrong baby? did you fall? is your ankle okay? do you want me to get ice? call an ambulance?”
“haji, please i don’t know, it just hurts so bad. please make it stop”
“doll it’s okay, just breathe, can you do that for me pretty girl?”
“mhm”
“good girl, it looks like you sprained your ankle, i’ll go get some ice, okay doll?”
“please hurry haji, it hurts a lot”
“it’s okay, i’m sorry, i’ll be back super quick”
- you were gonna cry, your boyfriend was being so cute and considerate
- yeah well wait until he finds out this was a prank
- in less than 2 minutes, he came running back with an ice pack
“here doll, does this feel better?”
“mhm, thank you haji, i love you”
“i love you more, c’mon i’ll carry you to the couch”
- ugh what a man
“hey haji?”
“yeah doll? what’s up?”
“happy april fools”
“huh?”
“i’m not actually injured, it was a prank”
iwaizumi: 😐😑😐
“i should have known, you fucking brat”
“hehe sorry, can i have a hug”
“no, hug yourself”
- 202/10 bc he’s husband material and has nice arms
↳ BOKUTO KOUTARO
- babie 🥺🥺
- you always loved leaving him small motivational notes for him and he loves it so much
- he always has the biggest smile whenever he sees a note that you wrote in his lunch or his duffle bag
- but today you put like 391 notes in his bag without him noticing
- so when he arrived at practice, he was hoping to get changed into his gear but was instead greeted with a pile of notes
- he picked one up at looked at it
“you look like the scum between my toes”
- okay that was mean
- so he picked up another
“your armpits smell like blue cheese”
- he could have started crying right then and there
- so he texted you
bo’s pov
me: baby :((
my pretty baby: what’s wrong my love? did something happen at practice?
me: did you put these notes in my bag? :((
my pretty baby: i did!! happy april fools baby!!
my pretty baby: did you not like it?
me: it was mean, should i read all of it?
my pretty baby: i spent all night writing it so yes
my pretty baby: but you don’t have to if you don’t wanna, some of them are really weird and mean
me: no i wanna, you worked hard on them!!
my pretty baby: are you sure? they might hurt your feelings
me: im sure!! im stronger than you think!! :))
- the rest of msby saw some of the notes and laughed
- atsumu texted you about how funny they were
- but sakusa told you to never do it again because he doesn’t wanna deal with bokuto crying ever
- what a babe
- 827282/10 because he’s such a sweetheart
#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x you#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu hcs#haikyuu!!#suna headcanons#suna hcs#suna imagines#suna x reader#suna x you#suna x y/n#oikawa headcanons#oikawa hcs#oikawa imagine#oikawa x reader#oikawa x you#oikawa x y/n#iwaizumi headcanons#iwaizumi hcs#iwaizumi imagine#iwaizumi x reader#iwaizumi x you#iwaizumi x y/n#bokuto headcanons#bokuto hcs#bokuto x reader#👼🏼 — angelskiss
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this week i read...
Darling, Keep the Lights On (Until I Get Home) by capsicleironman 💙
Summary: When Steve Rogers is awoken from the ice early, he is assigned as the personal assistant to Tony Stark, the man on TV with the strange glowing light in his chest. The plan was simple - protect and gain intel. It was supposed to be just another job, but then again, nothing in Steve's life has ever gone according to plan.
Iron Man 2 Divergence where Steve ends up working for Tony instead of Natasha, and his interest first in the arc reactor and then in Tony himself, leads him through the events of the Avengers, Iron Man 3, and Captain America 2.
17k words
It's Only Half Past (The Point of Oblivion) by LadyHabren (equalopportunityobsessor)
Summary: "I think it's generally agreed that all of Steve's senses are powered up by the serum? He can hear people whispering on the other side of the room, probably sees a hell of a lot further, etc.
But there are definite downsides. How does Steve control this side effect of the serum?"
Captain America is more than a man - he is a hero, he is an ideal, he is pure muscle held together by patriotism and moral fibre... And not even Captain America can fight it when his own brain turns against him.
4k, sentinel/guide au, not set in mcu,
Do-Over by gottalovev 💙
Summary: Steve woke up six months ago into a future that leaves him indifferent. There is work, and not much else. His current mission is a basic search and rescue operation to retrieve an American who was kidnapped by a terrorist group ten days ago. He won't let the fact that the hostage is Howard's son be a distraction.
14k words, ironman 1 - 2 but with steve on it!,
Calls Me Home by steve-capsicle-rogers (adorable_lab_rat)
Summary: Tony can't help but notice the far away look on Steve's face. The visible pain and loss. It wasn't right and giving Steve back everything he'd lost was the right choice. The right thing. And honestly Tony didn't do the right thing near enough.
9k words, post avenger 1, tony time travels to victory day with steve to make him happy
Memorial by hanyou_elf
Summary: Here rests in honored glory an American Soldier known but to God.
Steve visits Arlington's Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in lieu of visting the tombs of those he's lost.
600+ words, steve visits his grave and tony supports
Damaged by orphan_account
Summary: Prompt: Can you write a story where Tony is having heart problems again even after the shrapnel and arc reactor is removed, like he needs a pacemaker or something please? :)
Steve is worried about Tony after the doctor tells them Tony needs a pacemaker. Tony being Tony decides to build something better.
2k words, arc reactor + health problem
Warning by laireshi
Summary: Tony's left arm hurts.
100 words, angst post-civil war au
Told You Dirty Jokes Until You Smiled by ChibiSquirt 💙
Summary: Steve was waiting at light, casually checking out the man in the car behind him, when his phone pinged.
75k words. WIP T_T . steve is cap but tony isnt ironman (yet?). steve is awaken before ironman 1 and meets tony, proceed to have friends with benefits arrangement...
blood, Lies, and Love by Ridley160
Summary: When Steve Rogers volunteered for Project Rebirth they told him they would make him a hero. No one bothered to tell him that the serum would change him into a monster that needed to feed on the blood of the living for survival. Now he has woken up 70 years in a future where there are more like him and his affliction is now seen as gift. Only Steve is convinced that he is at his core still just a monster.
Then he meets the brilliant, quirky and charismatic Tony Stark, the only person in this crazy new world that seems to understand Steve's misgivings about what he is, but Tony is haunted by something. A secret he has carefully guarded for many years that forced him to push everyone away.
33k words in 13 chapters, steve is cap + a vampire but tony isnt ironman,
Blood Loss by wisia
Summary: The serum really did work a miracle. It created Captain America, and Tony would like the serum to work a miracle on him too. If only he didn’t fall in love.
5k words, set in captain america 1st avenger, tony is scientist/adventurer looking for a cure for his heart problem
scientific Heresy by antigrav_vector
Summary: In the process of running the particle accelerator in his basement and fixing the arc reactor, Tony finds himself flung into the past where he has to take on a fight not his own if he wants to get home to stop Vanko. At least he had a chance to replace the old rector that had been killing him with the new one before everything went sideways... But now he has no choice but to face off with family, friends, and old heroes, and none of that sounds remotely appealing. Well, okay, getting to meet them all during their glory days kinda does.
But as it turns out, they're not exactly what he imagined, and his path home is a lot longer than he'd hoped it would be.
And a lot more complicated.
34k words in 12 chapters, time travel au @ cap 1 and ironman 2, steve/tony/bucky
we will meet in another life by theappleppielifestyle
Summary: Tony is there instead of Howard during Project Rebirth. He ends up following Steve into the Howling Commandos, into the Atlantic ocean and into the 21st century.
6k words, canon divergence.
Keep on Beating by itsallAvengers
Summary: There were an awful lot of things Steve loved about Tony. But one thing in particular Steve could never get enough of was his heartbeat.
6k words, self-sacrificing tony strikes again and steve is upset.. so tony comes to a solution...
Coming Up Roses by NobodysBloodyPrincess 💙
Summary: Those with a death wish referred to the High Commander’s infatuation with the late Tony Stark as an ‘obsession.’ They were wrong. It had to be more than that, after all there was no word for what the High Commander was about do in the name of making things right.
No one gets a redo of life… no one except High Commander Rogers that is. Everything is coming up Roses and Sunshine for him. After all, he has a dream and it’s going to come true.
41k words in 3 chapters, beautiful but a bit dark and sad, just like the author said: “‘i’ll be with you till the end of line’ but stony”, definitely one of the best fic i’ve read because THEY ARE HAPPY T_T
The One With Bucky's Biggest Fan by justanotherpipedream
Summary: Steve still can’t believe how long it took for him to notice. It wasn’t a secret really, just something that no one had cared to ask...it honestly took Rhodey pulling him aside and pulling out an old photo album, before Steve really understood.
Tony Stark was a Bucky Barnes fan.
(aka The one where Tony is the biggest Bucky Barnes fanboy, Steve is a supportive boyfriend, and Bucky is perplexed by it all.)
2k words, it’s all in the summary
Sins of the Mother by skullshy 💙
Summary: All she could see when her eyes closed was Steve’s face in the courtroom. Stern, pained— with that fucking all-American self-righteousness.
Toni wondered for years whether it would have made a difference. Told him that she was pregnant, that Ultron was to protect their baby, and how sorry she was.
On her worst days, she imagined it wouldn’t have mattered.
23k words in 23 chapters, female tony stark, civil war (or age of ultron?) canon divergence
So this is bonded life by Captainstark12
Summary: Steve had been protecting the human village from hydra creatures like him for five years. And now he was ready to take his prize as he had the privilege of choosing an omega to bear his child. Hopefully his chosen omega human would want him back as much as he wanted him
4k in 6 chapters, mythology au
I don't think there's a manual for this by itsallAvengers
Summary: So. His son can stick to things, apparently.
If only Tony had realised this before he'd caught him hanging off the 89th floor of the tower.
Well. Parenting was never going to be a smooth road, was it?
2k words, stony adopts peter parker and then they become superfamily
For Your Eyes Only by SarahHBE
Summary: Every soldier looks forward to mail call. But Alpha Steve Rogers gets a big surprise with the letter his Omega, Tony Stark, has sent him.
2k words, explicit bcs of sexual content
It Was Just A Matter Of Time by babynative
Summary: The clock was ticking. And then, black.
719 words, civil war canon divergence, angst
This Can't Be The Last by MusicalLuna
Summary: Hours after a mission ends, Tony's heart starts to race.
1k words, tony had a heart attack, but not angst!
The Billionaire and the Army Captain by Neverever
Summary: Facing finanical ruin and needing to care for his sick daughter, Steve Rogers agrees to marry Tony Stark, who needs to get married by his 30th birthday to inherit. It's just a job for Steve until he starts to fall for the enigmatic billionaire.
12k words, non-powers au,
Adopt by greenteeth 💙
Summary: Steve's life is the same as usual. He goes to work, fights super villains, banters with other Avengers and goes home to an empty apartment. Until the son of an old friend shows up asking for help, well sex first, then help. Suddenly Steve is married, fighting super villains, worrying what Obadiah Stane and coming home to Tony most nights of the week.
42k words in 17 chapters, ABO, tony is not iron man, the story is complete but it’s a part of series that seems to never see the light T_T
The Act of Creation Will Be Your Salvation by scifigrl47 💙
Summary: When Tony Stark was seventeen years old, he built his first AI. On that day, he ceased to be his father's creation, and became a creating force in his own right.
That one act likely saved his life, and not always in the most obvious ways.
84k words in 8 chapters, stony but mostly looking through his AI bots a.k.a. jarvis and dum-e, definitely one of the best fics ever!
Bewitched, Body and Soul by iam93percentstardust
Summary: Almost ten years after joining the British Army, Steve Rogers returns to his childhood home after his mother's death. The house seems quiet in a way that it's rarely been. But the peace is shattered when his oldest friend stumbles into his home and into his life, seeking an escape from an arranged marriage to a cruel lord. Steve provides that escape but finds himself engaged to be married instead. This wouldn't be a problem - except that Steve is, always has been, and always will be deeply in love with Tony Stark.
16k words, regency AU, ABO, the classic stony misunderstanding trope
Right place, right time by hkandi, ralsbecket
Summary: An alternate take on the Captain America: The First Avenger movie. Tony is working with his dad to help out the SSR on this new project, though he and Steve happen to run into each other before that, and sparks fly from the start.
8k, CA: First avenger AU with tony stark present
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hey dils!! was listening to sunshine riptide and thought of u so i wanted to say i hope ur taking care and also ask if u have any favorite fob videos/interviews?? lately i have been obsessed w the promo video patrick did for the honda civic tour where he drove around LA and said the only reason they got the tour was because he already drove a civic ahsjdbd
first of all it is SO flattering that listening to sunshine riptide made you think of me 🥺
secondly i was molded out of clay to answer this question, 100% i have a lot that i think about like way too often
the one where petes giving a tour of his parents house where he lived at the time and was showing off his stuff and was particularly very excited about the fact that his band was turned into action figures and then half way through andy shows up and is like "were best friends forever!" and petes like "yeah andy comes over for sleepovers a lot, we hang out in my basement and make zines and stuff" and then at the end he gets all excited cuz he hears his moms car pull up and he goes out and shes coming out of the car and then patrick gets out of the car carrying groceries and petes like "here mom me and patrick can put the groceries away you finish the interview" and shes like "no- pete i just got home from work im a mess" and hes like "what? no! no mom you look great, you can finish the interview well take in the groceries" and then she did and the camera crew came back to the two of them messing around and putting groceries away.
"pete wentz is honestly the only way to describe pete wentz. hes the most complicated guy i know." [cut to] "if anyone can make a strike without touching the lane i will pay you $300" *throws bowling balls straight into the air* *runs down the lane*
ok but in all seriousness i love that interview not only for that iconic moment but because later the footage is like blaring i dont care and pete goes and grabs a stuffed giraffe out of the prize thingie and hes like "what do you mean :)? we bought this with our tickets!!" and the editors are very much trying to make it a bad boy rebel without a cause moment except if you looked the woman behind the counter had a smile on her face and was laughing and then afterwards he gave it back and said "we werent really gonna steal it" but it really seemed like she knew that already
and then at a different point a couple fans showed up and they were all shy and excited to meet him and he was just like "hey are you guys coming to the show later" and they were like "yeah" and he was like "cool! thanks for coming out :) do you want a picture?" and they took a picture and it seemed like he was still kinda excited that people were excited to meet him. marcus (their bodyguard) was like trailing behind him and smiling and laughing throughout most of these antics and i just think thats sweet.
later in this same interview once again as they were on the ride back to their hotel or whatever theyd brought back a fake moustache and patrick put it on and did a bunch of dumb impressions.
patrick: if i wasnt doing music i think id be like a music critic or music journalist or something
andy:...i thought you said youd work at walmart
theres this one srar era interview thats just joe and patrick riffing for like 15 minutes. like it looks like they just straight up forgot the interviewer was there its so funny theyre such good friends.
this one joe and pete interview where i dont even really remember what they were talking about but theres a moment where joes talking about music with this intense passion and pete just kinda looks at him with this level of brotherly pride that keeps me going
this one andy and pete interview where 1) there were waterfowl chillin behind them which was deeply fascinating to andy and 2) they took a moment to swivel their chairs and hug each other bc theyre besties
band superlatives, specifically the moment where theyre all separately like "technically marcus isnt in the band but like. its marcus." bc that was sweet, unofficial 5th member of fob. and also "whos the most talented" "patrick. patrick. its patrick, hands down." "hm. petes like a really good soccer player" like thats a moment out of a fucking sitcom
halloween asmr with pete wentz. the man cant act but god can he commit to a bit.
there was this like live text chat that they all were in with fans on some radio station website. there were a lot of very fun moments, including joe saying "this is very current technology." as a comment on how very dated the live chat was and andy being like "can we set an icon i wanna change mine to an XVX" and pete and joe being like "oh are you vegan straight edge? we had no idea." and then pete was like "actually i wanna change my icon to andy hurley" and andy was like "no pete im not gonna send you a picture of me" and he was like :( and then a minute later he changed it to andy and he was like, and i swear this is almost a direct quote "BOOM! i love my life haha" and andy was like "goddammit" like i have no idea where to find this but it was so good.
theres this one "this or that" interview with joe and andy wherein the interviewer was a woman and like she seemed pretty at ease around them and got to the last question and imo seemed kinda uncomfortable and kind of established (in a way that seemed like she didnt usually do that) that it was a gross question, which was "would you have sex with a super hot celebrity but shes just died" and both of them were like "hey. what the fuck. absolutely not." and shes like "oh thats a first" and they are both like "do people say yes to that????????" and shes like "youre literally the first people to say no haha" in a way that made it seem that she did not find it funny and i just find that to be an interesting moment and i hope shes doing well and has a better producer now.
theres this one interview w andy on a hardcore podcast where the interviewer asks andy "do you every wish fall out boy were more political?" and he said (paraphrasing) "fall out boy is political, in its own way. we may not be as explicit with our politics as my other stuff, but kids find fall out boy, and through me, with all my other bands, or through joe, since he does a lot of metal, find heavier stuff, and are introduced to this stuff and to being vegan straight edge or anarchist or just more radical politics, and i dont think that just because we arent being super political in our music we arent a political band" which was really something to me bc i had just been thinking about that as a concept i call "gateway punk"
theres this one interview i recently found of a very small chicago music news outlet where a young lady interviewed pete and asked far more interesting questions than any other interviewer id ever seen and one such question was how he felt about the legalization of marijuana in illinois and he said that it was cool that it was legal but everyone locked up for it right now should be released and i like that he got to be political
theres a moment on the badass jew podcast episode joe was on where the interviewer whomst i do not recall was espousing some veiled antiblack sentiments wrt some antisemitic comments some famous black people had made and joe just completely rebutted it immediately and pointed out that black people not only are not a monolith bht are at a greater disadvantage
and also he made a joke that i could never make and cant fully get bc im not jewish but it was very funny and i love hearing people make jokes that arent for me.
this one interview before patrick had kids where he was saying how everyone kept asking him and elisa when theyd have kids and he was like "you cant just make that happen yknow? how do you just do that?" and pete immediately grinned and leaned over and mock whispered "you have sex" and patrick punched the air and was like "i hate you so much"
that one interview about abap where pete was like "we actually got the guy who did the whistles on patience by guns n roses to do it on this" and then he looks over at patrick and patrick shakes his head and petes like "you couldnt let me have this?" and he was like "i was gonna but then you looked at me and i just couldnt."
"whats the most important thing to you right now?"
patrick: star wars
joe: my daughter.
patrick: ...my son?
the puppy interview. everyone involved including the puppies was having the time of their goddamn life.
i have to stop this is too much its been like an hour
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hi hi hi. so I just got into the Hamilton fandom, I swear I am four years late where did everybody go, and, well. I am apparently a hamburr shipper. bcs that is my life now. anyway I saw your fic ifmlam and I swear it is my favourite of all the fics I've ever read (and trust me I've read literally thousands). I love it so so much, how do you write fics like that??? I cried about four times during the whole thing, I stayed up till 4am reading it even when I had to wake up at 7 because it is just. that. good. I could not stop thinking about it for days afterwards and ifmlam has just ruined me. I can't think of listen to Hamilton without thinking of ifmlam anymore.
on to my qursttion: is it abandoned? of course it's perfectly FINE if it is. don't let anyone tell u differently, your fic is YOURS and u are amazing.
but pls I really need closure from ur fic, it has been haunting me if its abandoned or ongoing and I've read ur other fics and they are just chefskiss and thank you so much for writing them all. thank you thank you thank you, I will never be able to thank you enough for writing this fic and for everything it's done for me. I am probably thousands of miles away but I am sending you virtual jugs through a co.puter screen right now.
(don't feel pressured to reply to this or update it flam, I know how overwhelming it can get with so many messages and after a while u get desensitized to it. u can literally reply "thx. itfmlam is abandoned" and I would still be amazingly star struck. anyway has gotten way too long and I need to sleep and I'm sorry u probably won't see this so I'm just talking to myself right now but bye!!)
and thank you so so much for writing itfmlam.
aaaah hello anon!
thank you so so much???? I am so??? honored??? that ifmlam rates so highly to you, and also that you've read my other fics??????
the answer to the "is ifmlam abandoned" question is probably the worst possible one, which is pretty much "I do want to finish it, both for the folks that still want closure as well as it bothers to me have abandoned projects that are in the public eye/ already partially published, but also, it is last on my current writing projects list"
my current actually active writing projects list, kind of in order of priority, is
I'm literally three chapters away from being Actually Fully Done with the not-quite-first-not-quite-second let's call it 1.5th draft of an actual?? full?? original?? novel?? Opus which of course then goes out to beta readers and then gets who-knows-how-much edited and then maybe beta readers again if a lot does change and then a copyeditor my mom, my copyeditor is my mom, and maybe my little brother he's one of the betas but is very good at catching typos and then I!!! get to publish it!!!! which is the single thing I am most excited for!!!!!!!!! this should be closed up in the next week or two, and then take a while for people to actually read the draft and get back to me.
I really desperately want to finish my open-but-like-90%-written fic, which means we raise it up, the final chapter of to the bottom of the river bc I realized that it was kind of incomplete, and the second chapter of a buried and a burning flame because any more work there will need to wait until the author publishes the next book in the series. this should be closed up in the next month or two.
Speedwrite the draft of the second book of the Opus series so that hopefully by the time book 1 edits are happening, I have an almost complete draft of the second book. this is mostly me side-eyeing myself about taking nearly four years to write the first book, but that is solidly in part because I had so many other open projects which point 2 is about clearing that docket. this should be done in the next year.
And then just have my major projects be, at least until books 1-5 are written and published, books 1-5 of that because that is arguably the first major 'plot arc' of the series, so if I'm looking for a pause point on writing, that's probably where to stop.
There are two or three other short side projects (a weird fun second person short story tentatively titled witch-queen, a collection of four short stories Memoirs about a not-so-evil necromancer and the shenanigans he gets up to trying to rule a kingdom, working title Perfectly Normal Recipe Blog which is a collaborative project about a perfectly normal recipe blog that definitely doesn't include anything out of the normal) that will happen when they happen
There are other projects that are on the backburner -- The Numanok Files, a series of probably 12-15 short novellas about a mercenary/ bounty hunter esque person in space whose specialty is dealing with hauntings, but, like, 80% of their jobs is actually "you are effectively a space home inspector pointing out faulty wiring reacting to solar flares/ there's a weird alien fungus/ it's carbon monoxide okay change your atmosphere filters" and 20% of it is punching ghosts; there's a post-post apocalypse novel that I want to write that I know characters and general pacing and half the setting but need to work out the other half and figure out how much aesthetic I want to commit to; there's Strangeside7 aka spacerace book that is my reaction to how much I love how Redline the anime movie commits itself to "no we are about a race, like 60% of the screentime is just fully going to be an utterly ridiculous sci fi space race"; there's even a ridiculous YA trilogy that I would have to completely transplant the setting but might end up writing because the interplay between angel-physics and physics-physics was one of my favorite things in the world. and I guess the weird ridiculous technically a sequel series to ifmlam that was going to be published as original books that was basically me having fun with 'okay I fucking love star wars prequels old rotting space bureaucracy galactic republic style' except with seers and that also still might happen because it does have some of the coolest sci fi concepts and honestly I thiiiink that's all?
but the tl;dr of that timeline is I'm trying to finish a punch of projects Right Now, so that I can write books 2-5 of Opus, and then when I'm done that (which honestly, my average fiction-writing output is close to 100k a year. if I'm concentrating purely on one project, and writing books that are about 100k, we are talking four years. although my job situation is super up in the air in that period and writing might get put solidly on the backburner as I try to make it in academia, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) I will re-evaluate which projects go next, and that's when ifmlam is likely to come up for review.
I do not have any expectations that I will make it as an original author. I'm planning on posting all of my stuff online for free, but, like. it is incredibly difficult to convince people to try out even a piece of free and easily accessibly original work even if one has a huge following, I am a very small fanfiction author, and from what I can tell the majority of the people who are interested in my work are mostly interested in me finishing ifmlam. writing is a hobby for me, and while I'm writing mostly for me--and hence the for me bit at least for the next five years is pretty solidly going to be this series that I am deeply excited about and have sunk my heart and soul into every single aspect of--I'm human, and I don't really like shouting into the void, and I expect if I spend five years publishing to absolutely no response I will either stop writing for a while and do other things gods know my life is busy enough, return to fandom in general to write some other fanfic about whatever I get deeply into, or return to a work that I actually get response to. so ifmlam will probably start getting worked on a bit at that point one way or another. unless, of course, we are in the incredibly rare timeline in which I do make it as an original author, there are people who are deeply hyped for my original works and an actual demand for them, in which case as you may have noticed there are enough ideas there to keep me busy for a decade or two, and they will just get my full attention instead of fanfiction*. in this timeline, I will do what I was considering doing a few years ago, which is officially declare ifmlam otherwise abandoned and make one more giant chapter update which is a full and cleaned up outline of what I was going to write, interspersed with the scenes already written, and have ifmlam be given at least that closure.
*I want to make it clear that I very much love fanfiction and am proud to have been a fanfiction author and in my heart of hearts would keep writing it forever, I just also have a lot of ideas for characters and settings and magic systems and Aesthetics and I have been biting at the bit to write something that is //mine// and all mine and only mine for a while, I don't see original work as superior so much as there are a dozen fandoms that I am currently in and bursting to make content about except oops these fandoms currently only exist in my head, and I want to correct that
of course given how much as writing is my vent activity and I write what I'm in the mood for, there's a chance I'll feel ifmlam cravings before then, just... expect it to take a couple of years for an update, but also for there to be an update one way of another in a couple of years? but as for right now, I'm turning to original writing, because that is what brings me joy.
but I am really deeply honored that it brought you so much joy!!! and while I will never publish spoilers in a public place, if you message me off anon I am perfectly happy to give a run-down of my current plans for the ending, bc I know "wait a couple years and see" is not the most satisfactory of answers! and hey maybe you'll be like me and once you've given Opus a try you'll decide you like it better too, it does have Seers although they are deeply different Seers than in ifmlam but imo it's very gay and fun and at least politics on one side
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1/4 the thing about Donna is that it was after Claudia died that she was probably vulnerable enough to fall for the 'I adopt you as my child so now you have a family and i'll give you a 'gift'' shtick of Miranda's. Claudia died in 1996 aged 9 and was either her sister or her child. The Gardener says 'Mistress Donna' and 'Miss Claudia' so she was already head/last heir of the Beneviento estate.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that Claudia's death must have been the final hit for Donna. Losing her parents was one thing, but it's something all of us will have to deal with in our lives at some point (hopefully a late one). Losing a younger sibling/child when they're 9 is undoubtedly tragic. Considering Claudia's age I immediately assumed she was Donna's younger sister; I saw Donna as quite young herself, unless she was super young when she had Claudia, if Claudia is her child. But in any case, her death must have caused her even more distress, so it was the perfect situation for Miranda to swoop in and claim herself as Donna's "mother". Especially considering that Miranda's "gift" allowed Donna to create the perfect friend; Angie, the doll that was gifted to her by her father, and whose personality she could shape exactly the way she wanted.
2/4 as for nonaging+alcina, i raise you: her daughters. 3 young women were experimented on w cadou and as a result they were 3 amnesiac carnivorous swarms of flies that went back to looking pre-experiment. Then got adopted. And stayed looking like that for years up to the game's events. As for Heisenberg, he says 'decades of being forced to serve her' so shouldn't he have said 'my whole life' (he's dramatic/showman enough that he would have) or reference to lifelong slavery or 'MM raised us'?
Good point about the daughters! I hadn't even thought of them! But yeah iirc one of the diary notes you find in the game is dated at around 1958 or something, and it mentions Daniela, so all three of them were definitely there at least since then, non-aging and all. And I think though Alcina ended up adopting them, Miranda also oversaw the experimentation on them, so it's a good point towards proving that symbiosis with the Cadou pauses one's aging completely.
And yeah, Heisenberg would definitely be as dramatic as to say something like that, especially considering how oversharing he was about everything. It was like he was seeing Ethan run around his factory, being the only intelligent creature around that wasn't on Miranda's side, and he just unloaded all his burden because Ethan was the very first to be able to comprehend it and not rat him out to Miranda (who, ironically enough, already knew all about Heisenberg's wish to rebel against her). And Ethan was just like "Dude I honestly don't give a shit" XD
But yeah the way he says "She took me. Took us. To be her children." He sounds disgusted and like, he's rightfully so but the kind of disgust fits a bit more the idea of Miranda kidnapping a grown-ass man, experimenting on him with the hope of reviving her daughter through him, and when that failed she just claimed him as her "son". It sounds more like that and less like a rebellious son who, after growing up, realized what a fucked-up caretaker he had as a child.
3/4 MM had established herself/met Spencer/forbade people from going+getting anything from outside the village by the late 50s/early 60's that's why there are trucks and tvs and radios; and the Duke being the one to sell newspapers to villagers + being Karl's informant about bsaa+the stuff that happened in america (this is from the game director Sato who said heisenberg isn't a nazi and the fanservice of 'boulder punching asshole' here polygon . c o m / interviews / 22453564)
4/4 and now that i think more on it, MM just grabbed the last descendants of the most historically powerful houses, literally the founding ones (except alcina) to have even more influence within the village huh. timeline is wonky for sure. but then again all re canon is a bit wonky. Tumblr pls don't eat this one.
I honestly fucking love the design in the village because it's so well made to showcase that Miranda had cut off any connection from outside and inside the village. People on the outside didn't know it existed (aside from whoever it was in BSAA who made sure the mold man and his mold daughter would be relocated in driving distance to it and its leader with an obsession over a certain megamycete), and people on the inside were stuck with technology of mid-20th century and zero contact with the outside world. Even the Duke seems to adapt to it style-wise even though he obviously can contact the outside world.
And yeah, from the very little we see of the villagers, they seem to have felt very obedient to the Lords and Miranda, even though people like Elena were terrified of Castle Dimitrescu (with good reason!). And that probably was because Miranda made sure to have control over the right influences in the village.
Also, I love the phrase "the fanservice of "boulder-punching asshole'". Out of context it just sounds even more hilarious.
Thank goodness that I've taken to saving every ask in a txt bc my memory is bad. Next time I'll send shorter stuff like the friendly reminder+oppy+ethan and the hammer thing tho. You shouldn't have given me permission to ramble, now your inbox is mine, nyehehehe /joking
Honestly, I love getting your messages! I have a quick scroll through my activity every morning before work and I smiled every time I saw the notifications of your messages! Feel free to make yourself at home in my inbox :D
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as we go along | myj [m]
pairing | min yoonji x reader
wc | 10.4k
genre | NSFW; Fluff, Smut, a dash of Angst bc why not
Four years ago, the beautiful stunning attractive frustrating Min Yoonji came into your life. Ever since, it’s been a competition between the two of you to win the HOA’s Holiday Decorating Contest. The fiery looks she gives you paired with the pointed insults throw you off your game every year, but not this time. This holiday season, you’re determines to win; and along the way you might just find that Yoonji’s been trying to win something else.
;OR the queer hallmark movie of your dreams.
warnings/tags | idiots to lovers, enemies to lovers, Awkward Gays, Idiot/Oblivious Gays, very strong language i think this MC curses almost as much as i do, oral (female receiving) x2, fingering, wall sex, theres like....a hint of body worship in that MC loves eating pussy bc lbr. what else could possibly compare to that. uhh side jinkook, as well as some side namyoonmin and some vhope if u squint real hard. hwasa and chungha are a lesbian power couple. OH The Min Twins aka Yoongi and Yoonji are siblings uwu
a/n | this is 100% every single lesbian fantasy of my dreams because i just really love the ladeez and also min yoonji needs more characterization outside of 'stone cold butch domme' so uh. here ya go. i love ladeez so this is v self indulgent and also Super Gay.
this is part of the 25 Days of Christmas: A BTS Anthology
[Today]
Red bleeds into green and glitters magnificently on the snow. Lights and tinsel are strewn all over the yard of your parents’ house, creating a rather pretty collage of sparkles and swirls against the white backdrop. You wish you could appreciate it more.
As it stands, however, you’ve been outside for hours untangling the decorative strands so that you can hang them on the gutters, eaves, and railings of the two story house behind you. Your mother had insisted you work inside but you know better. The cats - Mochi and Pablo - are your favorite in the world and you love them dearly, but one of their favorite things in the world has always been holiday decorations. The number of times you’ve had to stop them from chewing on lights of knocking the tree down is frankly ridiculous. So instead you’re unravelling everything so you can get started on what you’re sure is going to be your best year yet.
You’ve always loved decorating, of course, especially for the holidays. Getting up before dawn to go pick out one of the giant fir trees to stand in their living room, picking out new figurines for the Winter Village that sits on the mantle, helping your parents put ornaments on the tree. You love holiday decorating nearly as much as you love the feeling of victory in your chest.
“If you had an organizer that wouldn’t take nearly as long,” says a voice from behind you. It’s melodic and deceptively sweet in spite of the lower register, and you don’t turn. You don’t want to give her the satisfaction. You don’t even respond, instead settling your gloved hands on your hips and eyeing the front porch so you can decide where to start.
“Really? Ignoring me now? Tsk tsk, and here I thought you were better than being a sore loser.”
Continuing on your mission to pretend she isn’t there, you heft several yards of lights over your shoulder and head toward the ladder you have against the porch roof. You may as well start up high.
“Interesting choice,” Yoonji mutters as she watches you. The hair on the back of your neck bristles, and you take a deep breath to calm and center yourself. “I’d heard that icicle lights were a bit last season, but I’m excited for this vintage look you’re going for. If you need more, let me know. I think the ones I used last year are still in the garage.”
“What do you want, Yoonji?” You huff, turning over your shoulder to glare at her. She looks entirely too at home in your yard with a steaming thermos in her mittened hands.
“Just wanted to say hi. Wasn’t sure you were coming this year, considering how late you got in.”
“My flight was delayed for weather reasons,” you snap.
“Ah. That’s why I always drive up instead.” There’s a pregnant pause that’s filled only with the huffs of your breath as you focus on the lights in front of you. “Oh, but you never got your license, did you? Ah, you should call me next year, we can carpool.”
“I got my license this past year,” You bite out. She doesn’t need to know that it took a few tries. It’s not your fault it makes you anxious to be behind the wheel. “Seriously. I have work to do.”
“Obviously,” Yoonji mutters. You flash her a glare and she just smiles back. “Just wanted to see how you were, if you needed any…” She pauses, eyes trailing over the explosion of decorations on your lawn with thinly veiled judgement in her eyes. “Help.”
“If I needed your help, I wouldn’t be winning this year’s contest.”
“By the looks of it, you aren’t winning this year’s contest anyway.” Her mutter doesn’t escape your notice. But that’s the real problem you have with Min Yoonji.
She’s sarcastic and blunt and kind of intimidatingly hot, but you can handle that. You are a strong, independent queer woman in the modern age and you are not about to let some random lesbian intimidate you, no matter how much you kind of wanted to fuck her in the past. Yoonji is not a problem for you.
It’s the way she’s constantly putting you down, giving you backhanded compliments, and generally acting like she’s better than you. While winning your parents’ neighborhood’s annual Holiday Decorating Contest that their local Homeowner’s Association runs. Everyone gets a kick out of the friendly competition, the winners get a gift certificate to a Korean BBQ place, and a good time is had by all.
Except you.
Because you’ve made it your mission to win - to beat the current reigning champion of the past three years who stands on your lawn sipping what smells like hot cocoa and silently judging your decor choices like she didn’t put a massive inflatable pumpkin on the roof for Halloween.
She watches you the entire time you hang up the lights, carefully attaching them to the edge of the awning covering the front porch. It isn’t until your father pulls into the driveway and you’re done with the upper half completely - about to start the railing - and descending the ladder one careful step at a time that she speaks again.
“Those are hanging too low,” She tells you. She doesn’t seem to mind when you ignore her in favor of wrapping lights around the stair banister.
“Hey there, Yoonji!” Your father calls as he starts to unload the groceries. “What brings you to this part of town?” They both laugh at the joke and you force back a gag.
“Just hanging out,” She calls back. “Making sure your daughter doesn’t break her neck for some silly competition. You need help with those?” Your dad waves her off.
“I’m not that old, but thank you. Besides, it looks like you’re needed elsewhere.” He gestures with one bag-laden hand, and both you and Yoonji turn.
A large SUV pulls into the driveway across the street; the passenger door swings open before the vehicle even stops, and a girl - woman, really - launches herself out of the car. She’s across the street in record time, nearly tackling Yoonji to the snow with the force of her hug. Both look excited to see each other, a rare smile on Yoonji’s face that makes you burn with something that doesn’t feel quite like the usual rage.
The two are talking rapidly in your front lawn, too harried and chaotic for you to make out much of anything besides the fact that they missed each other. They look comfortable with each other in a way you’ve never been and you force yourself to remember that you don’t care . Even as you eye the way the newcomer’s hand sits just that little bit too low on Yoonji’s back.
The sounds of car doors closing and snow crunching draws your attention and you’re shocked to see another gorgeous girl making her way over. She looks as excited as the first, yet more subdued about it.
Likely because they’re on a lawn that decidedly does not belong to them, but you could be wrong there.
Both of the women are absolutely gorgeous, though, easily model material. The first has artfully styled dark hair that falls in perfect waves down her shoulders, and is delightfully curvy in all the places the world loves. Her cheekbones are to die for, makeup flawless, and you resist the urge to pluck at your own outfit, chosen for warmth over style.
The second woman is no different; not quite as thicc, as Jimin would say, but the figure suits her, as does the straight platinum hair that hangs down to her lower back. It’s stark against the black of her expensive-looking coat, and it only adds to the energy she carries that draws you in even as you wish it wouldn’t.
“Oh, how rude of me! These are my neighbors,” Yoonji says after a minute. You don’t miss the way she hesitates saying your name, or the almost predatory smiles the other two women get.
“So you’re the one,” The dark-haired one says. You don’t get a chance to question it before the blonde cuts her off.
“I’m Chungha,” She says with a friendly smile. “And this is Hyejin.”
“My friends call me Hwasa, though,” The brunette adds. “We hate to tear her away but it’s been ages since we’ve seen our girl.”
“You saw me like two weeks ago,” Yoonji mutters. You’re too caught off-guard by anyone calling Yoonji their ‘girl’ to respond, but you don’t miss the way her cheeks tinge pink from something that isn’t the cold.
“So we’re gonna steal her away now,” Hwasa continues, oblivious. You don’t protest, letting your father chat amicably while they say their goodbyes and you look between the girls.
Hwasa’s hand is still lingering on Yoonji’s lower back, something neither of them seem bothered by. That’s something that friends do, though, right? Jimin squeezes your ass constantly and the two of you definitely aren’t together.
You hear your name and a question but you can’t seem to really focus beyond a mumbled agreement to whatever you were asked. The way Chungha’s eyes glance over her companions feels like something more, but you can never really be sure. Not in this day and age.
But when they head back across the road to Yoonji’s house, Hwasa doesn’t hesitate to lace their fingers together. Yoonji lets her do it, and the glimpse of the grin and the flushed cheeks you see make your heart clench.
Paired with the way Chungha eyes the pair as she follows behind - a decidedly more than friendly gaze - and every alarm in your brain is going off. She looks ready to jump them both the second they get in the door.
“I’m impressed,” Your father says.
“I’m not done yet,” You tell him, turning back to the decorations sprawled across the lawn. “I’ve still got to-”
“No, no,” He interrupts. “Not the decorations. That you’re finally making strides to be nicer to Yoonji.” You stare blankly at him, not understanding what part of your attitude towards her said anything about being nicer.
And anyway, why shouldn’t she be nicer to you?
“The party…?” You blink at his words, looking in all respects like a startled rabbit. “The annual Min family holiday party? That they just invited you to? The one that you said you would attend?”
“I’m sorry, I did what. ”
“It just happened, sweetheart. I was standing right here for the entire thing.”
“No,” You tell him firmly. “No, because I would remember telling Min fucking Yoonji that I was going to her stupid holiday party.”
Your father just shakes his head. “Then perhaps we ought to get you a doctor’s appointment, sweetie, because I watched it all happen not five seconds ago.” He pats your shoulder, doing his best to show his solidarity for your sudden idiocy, and makes his way inside.
You spin to watch him go, all the potential protests and complaints clogging together in your throat and leaving you silent. He gets to the bottom step before you’re storming angrily back to your decorations, because whatever , you’ll go to the stupid party.
Yoonji can have her dumb holiday party with those overhyped cookies your father always raves about. She can have her caroling and her sing-a-long that your mother adores. She can even have her two super hot model girlfriends, because you’re a modern woman, and sometimes that’s what a relationship is. Whatever. It’s her prerogative. You don’t care. It is not going to affect you, or your decorating, at all.
You scream a little when the icicle lights you so carefully hung knock against your father’s head on his way inside.
[Three Years Ago]
“You look like you’re struggling,” a voice says behind you.
They aren’t wrong, either. You’re balanced precariously atop the porch roof your parents’ new hours, hanging garland off the edges so your dad doesn’t have to do it himself.
You turn to see who’s talking to you - especially since you don’t actually know anyone, this being your first visit to the neighborhood - and very nearly have to hold on to the edge beside you to stop yourself from falling off.
The man that stands on your parents’ front walkway is easily the most beautiful you’ve seen - a casual elegance to his stance that you’ve not seen outside of celebrities. His leather jacket looks warm and comfortable while remaining stylish, and the all-black underneath suits him while highlighting the lithe form. All of it is perfectly complemented by the mop of jet-black hair tucked under a knitted beanie, and you can’t help but wonder what kind of neighborhood your parents have moved to, when models are just walking around the streets.
“Uh…” You would kick yourself for sudden ineloquence if you thought you could without falling straight on your ass. The guy bites back and obvious smile, ducking his head for a moment to do so.
“I haven’t seen you around before,” He calls as he looks back up at you. “Did you move in recently?”
“No, I don’t live here.” He raises a brow and you huff. “It’s my parents’ place. I’m just doing their decorating for them.” The guy nods and starts to say something else, but he’s cut off before he can.
“Jimin-ah, what are you doing?” You look back to the garland as someone else walks up, some girl based on the quick glimpse you get while tugging on a strand that doesn’t want to untangle. You give them some semblance of privacy as the guy - Jimin - relays to her everything you’ve said so far. It only strikes you as a little odd that he’s being so detailed; she could be a jealous girlfriend, for all you know.
“Oh,” the girl says, tone as dry as the dead leaves piled in the corner of the yard, “Is this supposed to beat me somehow?”
“Yoonji,” Jimin scolds under his breath.
“Sorry,” You say, standing up to your full height. It’s a considerable distance considering you’re still on the porch roof. “But what is that supposed to mean? Is there some kind of competition I don’t know about?”
“Oh,” Yoonji repeats, surprise evident in her voice this time as she eyes you. You take the opportunity to do the same, and you’re glad the nip in the air already turned your cheeks pink because fuck.
Yoonji’s god damn gorgeous. She’s slightly taller than the average girl, even in the winter boots she’s wearing, but she wears the height well; her shoulders are straight and her chin has a natural upward tilt to it, like she’s used to looking down at people in more ways than one. She’s not dressed fancy - just thick leggings and an oversized sweater - but she looks like she belongs in a commercial or something. Her hair is similar to Jimin’s - pitch black and soft - but hers is glossier, more like a cat’s coat; her cheeks are pink from the cold, her lips are slightly parted and invite too many thoughts about if they’re as soft as they look, Even in such casual circumstances, she’s radiant, even as she says-
“That explains a lot.”
It takes a second longer than you’d like to admit for your brain to resume function, but when it does, you huff with indignation.
“Excuse me?” You hiss. “What, are my decor choices not good enough for whatever this competition is?”
“No,” Yoonji says slowly, cocking a brow, and you see red - and it isn’t the lights from the house across the street. You don’t even let her continue before you’re defending yourself.
“Well I’m sorry that not all of us can decorate like they just stepped out of...of…Better Homes And Gardens, or some shit like that. Some of us focus more on making sure we like our decorations and that they actually mean something instead of just doing things for the aesthetic .”
Yoonji mutters something under her breath but you can’t make it out; it’s lost among the breeze that kicks up and the soft sound of laughing that Jimin is trying desperately to muffle. You huff a little and return to your mission of dragging the garland up on top of the roof, a new determination filling your chest.
“Shouldn’t your boyfriend be doing this?” Yoonji asks, crossing her arms over her chest and cocking a brow. You freeze. You can hear Jimin’s quiet inhale, and when you look up, he’s got his lips puffed out like that meme of that guy doing the duckface. You let your hand rest on your hips and give this girl the best glare you can - which you have to admit is quite powerful when you need it to be.
Like now, when this random super hot girl is judging you for being single and also assuming you’re interested in men. The nerve of her.
“I don’t have a boyfriend,” You tell her firmly. She frowns a little, and you wish the expression wasn’t so cute.
“Why not?”
You scoff. “ Because,” You tell her firmly, “Not only am I happy by myself and don’t need someone else to be complete, I happen to prefer women. You may be happy with a member of the opposite sex,” You wave at where she and Jimin stand close together and return to trying to pull up the piece of garland that’s probably stuck on something, “But I tend to lean the other way.”
Yoonji just arches a perfect brow at you, but she at least doesn’t bust out laughing like Jimin does.
“Oh man,” He says, wiping tears from his eyes as he stumbles forward, “Imagine looking at us and thinking we’re straight. Oh my god, imagine, can you believe-”
“So why don’t you have a girlfriend doing this then?” Yoonji asks. Her cheeks are a little redder, but you’re pretty sure it’s just from the cold. “Wouldn’t it be better?”
“Because I’m a strong,” You heave another string of garland up, “Independent,” heave, “Woman!” You give one last tug on the garland and it flies loose, sending you landing back on the flat of your ass atop the porch roof. It doesn’t hurt too bad other than the fact that you can see a smile playing on Yoonji’s lips and your pride has already taken a few hits.
“Well then,” Yoonji says, patting Jimin’s arm and stepping back, “We’ll stop distracting you, Miss Independent.” She and Jimin walk across the street, and you pretend not to notice the way she looks back every so often.
[Today]
“No, it needs to be taller.”
“Sweetheart if it’s any taller, it won’t fit in the house.”
You send your mother a frustrated glance and shake your head. “It will, it just needs to be the right height and shape.”
“Why can’t we just get a fake tree? They’re so much easier to move and put together, wouldn’t that be better?”
“No,” You hiss, scandalized. “Real trees are better overall for the environment, not to mention how you can’t manufacture the smell of pine trees that come with them that set the entire atmosphere. Plus this nursery uses the profits to plant more trees both here and in areas that suffer with deforestation. It’s for a good cause.”
“And that’s why we had to get here at five in the morning?” Your mother asks sarcastically.
“Yes,” You reply firmly, “Because otherwise all the good trees will be gone and we’ll be forced to choose from the leftovers.” Your mother mumbles something else under her breath, but you don’t hear it. You’re distracted because there it is. The perfect tree.
You’re two steps away from your perfect tree - tall, evenly spaced, full branches, well balanced, with the perfect shade of evergreen - when you hear her.
“It’s over here,” Yoonji’s voice echoes. “I need the perfect tree, and it’s the best one I’ve found in years.”
You ignore the way your mother lights up and shush her when she tries to call out to Yoonji. You listen closer; your nemesis is still talking, something about needing a tree for someone - which, who leaves tree shopping to the last minute? The only reason you’re here is that you got in late because of the weather - but her voice is definitely getting closer.
Panicking, you look at your tree. If Yoonji sees it, it’s definitely over. It’s perfect, there’s no way she’ll want any other, and what Yoonji wants, she gets.
The only real explanation for what happens next is that you’re running on four hours’ sleep and Yoonji tends to make you a little stupid.
“Get the other side,” You whisper to your mom. She stares at you and doesn’t move. “Hurry up, before they get here!”
Your mother watches for a few seconds as you wrap your arms around the tree, getting pricked in the face with pine needles as you do, and start to tug. It’s a heavy tree, and it’s only just started to shift when the voices get closer.
“Seriously?!” You exclaim in a harried whisper to your mom. “Not even a push?!”
“You’re trying to steal a tree,” Your mother says. “From a nursery that gives to charity. I’m not helping with that.”
“I’m gonna pay for it later!” Your mother sighs and starts pushing halfheartedly on the other side of the tree.
“Shit, no, I meant-” Your words are cut off by a grunt as you manage to catch the tree before it falls entirely. It’s heavy against your shoulder, and of course that’s when Yoonji turns the corner, followed by the broadest man you’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing. Both stop in their tracks at the sight of you.
“Hey Seokjin.” You say, faking a laugh. “How are you? Haven’t seen you this year. Business good?”
“Yeah,” He says, cocking a brow, “When people don’t try to run off with our trees.”
“Who? Me? I would never!” The tree starts digging into your shoulder and your legs tremble. “I just thought I’d load it up for you, y’know, save you the trouble.”
“Oh did you?” There’s amusement in Seokjin’s voice as he fiddles with his ring. “You know our policy, you have to pay before loading.”
You start to stammer out some bullshit about him being busy but you’re only halfway through the excuse when Yoonji says your name.
“It’s alright,” the woman says with a bored voice. “She was loading it up for me. That’s the tree I was coming to show you anyway.”
The weight finally overtakes you, and you crumble under it. You manage to twist so that nothing important is trapped under the trunk, but you get a faceful of needles for your efforts.
“Maybe you should do it, though, Jin,” Yoonji says. “It looks a little much for the poor dear.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Seokjin huffs. He pulls the tree off of you with what looks like little effort, hefting it over his shoulder so the base drags the ground. “Where are you parked, Yoonji?”
“Load it onto their car,” Yoonji responds. Both you and your mother stare at her in shock. “Consider it an early Christmas present.”
“Oh, well isn’t that sweet of you,” Your mother coos. She points the way to Seokjin and the two head off, chatting amicably as they go.
You narrow your eyes at Yoonji where she stands, not even offering to help you up from the snow where you still lay.
“What’s wrong with it?” You ask. All she does is quirk a brow. “The tree. Why are you giving it to me? You wouldn’t unless there was something wrong with it. So what is it? Termites? Leaking too much sap? What?”
Yoonji shrugs. “You wanted it,” She says simply. Your blood boils, and she steps back like she doesn’t even notice.
“You aren’t even going to help me up?” You call as she starts to walk away.
“Good try, Miss Independent,” She calls back. “I think Jungkook’s still in the office if you need him.”
You half-scream a growl as you flop your head back into the snow. A pout forms as you watch the sky start to color with the sunrise.
You’re going to have to throw away your perfect tree.
[Two Years Ago]
It’s the day of the contest. You’re confident in your decor choices this year, even if you couldn’t get every single thing you had in mind, you decide as you wander the neighborhood to scope out the competition. Last year you went simple and got second place, and you’ve switched it up this year. All out with the best decorations possible.
You’re going to win. Losing isn’t an option, not again. Not when you were beat by her.
It doesn’t matter, you remind yourself as you turn the corner onto your parents’ street. Your decorations are as good as they can be.
Your mood sours a little when you see a figure in the yard across from yours, but the soft beanie and oversized hoodie cheer you up once you notice them.
“Yoongi!” You call with a smile. The man turns and gives you a gummy grin. “I didn’t know you were in town!”
“Yeah, we got in late last night. Kinda crashed once we did. Then someone dragged us all out to the store early this morning.” He rolls his eyes and you laugh.
“Well the house looks good. Not as good as mine, obviously,” You tease, “But good.”
“Yeah, you might win this year. Yoonji’s got some good competition.”
You sniffle a little, doing your best to contain your distaste for his twin.
The Min twins, nearly identical save for the fact that they aren’t the same gender, are easily the best and worst things about the neighborhood. Worst because of that pompous priss Yoonji, obviously.
Best because Min Yoongi is one of the sweetest people you’ve ever known even if he is a bit shy. You met him last year, when he’d carried in an obscene amount of groceries for your mother and you’d almost mistaken him for his sister. You’d made him coffee to say thanks, the two of you talked, and you’ve been friends ever since.
“No Jimin?” You ask him. He gestures vaguely to the roof, where you can see a small blue hat bopping around. “Ah. I take it you aren’t finished yet, then.”
“Do you know any other reason my sister would have my boyfriend on the roof?” You share a grin with him as you both watch a strand of lights fly off somewhere. “Apparently she needed to make some last minute adjustments. That’s why she dragged us all out to the store, to hunt down some stuff for her.”
“Oh, did you happen to see one of those big dancing snowmen? The one that plays music, you can control it all from your phone? I looked everywhere and couldn’t find one, it’s the one thing I was missing. Had to use an inflatable yeti instead.” Yoongi frowns.
“Huh, how weird. That’s what we were-”
“I got it all ready, it just needs to be plugged in.”
Yoonji strides out from the house - looking as good as ever in some plaid pants, how dare she - and stops dead when she looks up and sees you.
“What are you doing here?” She snaps, and you scoff.
“Visiting a friend,” You respond with a nod towards Yoongi. You take a glance at the phone in her hand, then up to where you can see Jimin standing up a snowman. “Did you seriously steal my idea?!”
“What? No.”
“Really. Because I distinctly remember telling Jungkook about this yesterday while I was picking up my tree and you were right beside him talking to Seokjin. I was even going to put it on the roof so everyone could watch it dance to Pentatonix covers.”
“Like I would listen when you talk,” Yoonji says. Yoongi sighs but you can barely hear it over the flood of rage.
“Y’know what? Get fucked,” You tell her as you storm out of their yard and back to your parents’ house.
“I guess you won’t be coming to the holiday party then?” She calls over the road. You send her a rather vulgar hand gesture in return that you hope your parents don’t see. By the time you get inside, the snowman is playing a Mariah Carey Christmas song and you kind of want to set it on fire.
You do not win the competition that year.
[Today]
Maybe you should have listened to your parents when they said not to drive today. Probably you should have taken the big ass truck that your father keeps in the garage specifically for when the weather is bad, because it’s got that fancy four wheel drive and traction control and all sorts of stuff meant to keep people safe in the middle of floods and monsoons and blizzards. You definitely should have remembered to charge your phone before you left the house.
Especially considering that your car isn’t great in the snow now falling gently from the sky to land on your hood, mixing with the smoke pouring out from under it.
You’re lucky you managed to drift to the side of the road and get your hazard lights on, but that’s where said luck runs out. Your phone is dead, it’s several miles back to the house, even further than that to town, and the temperature is already dropping into dangerous territory.
You’ve been sitting here for three hours, though, tucked inside the residual warmth of your car with spare blankets wrapped around you as you watched night fall. You’re not sure what else you can do. There aren’t any wild animals around here, or anything like that, but it’s definitely too dangerous to trek back to the house.
“I should’ve just walked back earlier,” You groan as you bundle the blankets closer. “At least it was warmer then. Stupid car, stupid car, stupid me , didn’t charge your stupid phone, how dumb am I.”
Your tirade against yourself continues for several minutes and includes a few very crafty curses that would make your mother gasp. You’re in the middle of another when lights shine into your mirrors, nearly blinding you.
The lights slow and come to a stop behind your car. A door shuts and you scramble to exit, ready to get on your knees and beg whoever it is to give you a ride to literally anywhere that has heat.
It takes a second too long for you recognize the shiny purple jeep and the elegant black peacoat backlit by the headlights, and by the time you do, she’s already got an angry snarl on her face.
“What the fuck are you doing out here?” She demands. You shiver in response and glare at her.
“Oh, just hanging out, thought I’d take a little nap beside the road in the freezing cold, the usual y’know,” You bite back. She rolls her eyes and starts back towards her jeep. You frown, watching her, and she stops with one foot inside and her hand on the door.
“What are you waiting for?” She asks. You shrug, and she huffs. “Get in the fucking car, I’m taking you home before you turn into an icicle.” You don’t move and her frown deepens. “Fine, but if you die out here, I’m not the one that’s going to tell your parents it was because you were too stubborn to accept a ride.”
Guilt gnaws at you, and with a frustrated huff, you stomp your way over to the passenger side of her jeep and climb inside.
She’s careful as she drives, you notice. Long fingers wrapped tight around the wheel, jaw tensed so hard it could be stone, and one arm leaned against the window after she’s finished turning the heat up as high it will go.
It’s not even been five minutes when she tosses a thick, fleece-lined blanket at you. You look at her, ready to be pissed off, and she cuts you off before you can complain.
“Your teeth are chattering so loud that I can’t hear myself think. Try not to get hypothermia before we get there, okay?” You huff a disbelieving laugh but curl into the warmth of the blanket anyway. It feels almost too-warm, like when you pull clothes out of the dryer, but it’s a comfort against your freezing skin.
“Why are you even here? You aren’t heading back from town, you’re not heading to town. Do you just drive around looking for lost girls?”
“No,” She says carefully, hand tightening around the wheel. It’s all she says for a full minute before she sighs. “Your parents got worried.”
“What?! ”
“They said you went to town to pick up some salt for the sidewalk and drive, and that it had been hours, and that they hadn’t heard from you again even though you took your phone. They were scared that something had happened, so I…”
Your sarcastic response dies on your tongue when you look at her. Really look.
Her shoulders are tense and set, in a way you haven’t seen before. Her brows are creased, and the pretty lips you refuse to acknowledge are set in a thin line and turned down at the corners. There’s something fizzling in the air between the two of you, something new and unknown.
“...Were you worried about me?” You ask quietly. She shoots you a look and then laughs, a second too late with not enough amusement.
“Drink that,” She says, gesturing to a thermos. “It’s coffee, it’ll help you warm up a little.” You take the thermos, thoroughly enjoying the warmth it provides your hands, and take a sip. You don’t know why, but you’re surprised when it’s the exact way you like it. You shoot her a thoughtful look, wondering just how else she might surprise you.
The rest of the ride is quiet, only the lull of the engine and the tires. Neither of you talk much; perhaps because she’s too angry, but you’re too distracted by your own thoughts to say much.
There’s no way, right? The two of you hate each other, you have since you met. It tints all your interactions, colors every single conversation where either of you are even mentioned, it’s one of the basic facts of the universe.
So why, as Yoonji pulls into your parent’s driveway and smiles at where they stand watching from the window, do you have a feeling like maybe you’re wrong?
[One Year Ago]
“Really? Inflatables?”
You scowl and turn, already prepared. There stands Yoonji, arms crossed. The weather is fairly mild for the season, and she’s taking advantage of that. High waisted shorts, an off-the-shoulder top, lace-up boots, leather jacket, she looks like every rebellious lesbian you’ve ever dreamt about, and it only makes you hate her more.
“Yes, inflatables. Because some of us like a little fun. Besides, you stole my dancing snowman last year, and I wanted something you aren’t going to rip off.”
“I didn’t steal your-”
“Whatever,” You interrupt, not wanting to even bother to listen. “Don’t you have someone else to bother?”
She starts to say something else, but the slam of the front door cuts her off. You turn and grin, waving.
“Tae! C’mon, put it over here!”
Taehyung smiles and makes his way over, inflatable deer in his hands. Yoonji’s silent as he gets there and sets the animal where you direct. When he’s finished he turns to you, boxy smile and all, to make sure he’s good, and glances at Yoonji.
“Oh, you didn’t say you had a friend over,” He whines. “Now I’m being rude. Hi, I’m Kim Taehyung.”
Yoonji doesn’t answer, merely eyes with distaste the hand he’s got extended.
“Right. Well then, I’m gonna go get the fawn, alright? Be right back.” He smiles at you, and you watch as he jogs back into the house.
“I thought you only brought Namjoon with you this year.” You turn at Yoonji’s words.
“No, Tae came as well. It’s a good thing, too, because Joon is utterly useless now since he met Yoongi and Jimin. Little punks stole my best friend.” You’re only mostly kidding. You’re happy for Namjoon - he’s been somewhat lonely these days, and now he’s got not one but two handsome men vying for his affection.
It does reinforce your own loneliness, though.
“I thought you liked girls.” You look back at Yoonji and notice she’s got a small pout on her face. It’s cute.
“I do like girls.”
“Then why is Taehyung here?” The way she says his name is full of spite, and it makes you laugh.
“Sorry, I didn’t realize that I had to get your permission when I want to bring my friends and loved ones up to visit my parents for the holidays.” You adjust the inflatable deer, posing it so that it looks like it’s glaring at Yoonji’s house in anger.
Taehyung comes back out before Yoonji can say anything. He’s got his jacket off now, and he does look good in the simple white shirt and the headband that makes his hair look even fluffier than usual. You just really can’t focus on anything but the inflatable fawn he’s got tucked under one arm and the matching rabbit tucked under the other.
Yoonji’s eyes narrow ever so slightly, and you roll your eyes.
“You need another deer,” She spits before she turns around and stomps back to her house. Taehyung shoots you a look.
“I take it that’s Yoonji, then,” He says with a laugh. You make a puking sound and he tuts at you. “You’re supposed to be nice. That is not nice.”
“Yeah, well, she didn’t steal your dancing snowman, did she?”
Across the street, you can see Yoonji fuming as she stands on the porch, talking to Yoongi about something or other. They both look over and while your first instinct is to turn around like you haven’t been watching them, you resist. Instead, you give Yoongi a bright wave. He doesn’t return it but his frown lessens slightly, though that could be because Jimin stumbles, laughing, out of your parents’ house with Namjoon not far behind him.
Both of them have hearts in their eyes, and it only gets worse when they look at Yoongi.
“That’s disgusting,” Taehyung says with a wrinkle of his nose. “Eugh, they’re so couple-y and gross. Remind me not to come next year if Namjoon’s here.”
“Oh no,” You tell him with a grin as you wrap him in a hug. He’s warm and solid against you, as he always is, and you thoroughly enjoy it. “If I have to struggle, you do too.”
“Fine,” He whines dramatically. “But I’m bringing Hobi so he has to suffer, too.” You laugh and set him to work organizing the inflatable animals. There are eyes on your back the entire time, but you refuse to turn around and give Yoonji the satisfaction.
Especially once you realize that you do need another deer to make it look balanced and perfect.
[Today]
The holiday party is well underway by the time you arrive at Yoonji’s, however reluctantly you do so. Your mother and father disappear almost immediately, sucked into conversations with people they’ve known for years now; Tae and Hobi are tucked into a corner, nursing glasses of cider while they look at the rather extensive Winter Village display on the Mins mantle; Namjoon has been here for hours already, and is no doubt locked away in Yoongi’s room with the man himself, and Jimin, and you choose to believe that they’re having some philosophical discussion and not doing anything else.
You think you catch a glimpse of Jungkook amidst the people from the neighborhood, but by the time you get to where he was, there’s no sign of him, or the broad-shouldered man he’s usually with. Abandoned in the kitchen, you pour yourself some cider and spike it with a hint of rum, just to get you through the night.
“Where’s your boyfriend?” A voice says.
When you turn, you find Hwasa perched on the countertop, Chungha leaning back between her legs. Both are watching you curiously, and both look absolutely fantastic in figure-hugging dresses and tights and heeled boots. They look like they just stepped off a runway, but the look in their eyes feels more like a panther than a model.
“What boyfriend?” You ask eventually.
“Tall, great chest, soft hair,” Hwasa says. When you just stare at her, she smiles a little. “Boxy smile.”
“Oh, Tae?” You laugh a little. “He isn’t my boyfriend. I’m not even interested in him like that, he’s just my best friend.” The two women share a look and Chungha kisses her cheek before heading out of the room. Hwasa eyes you and you have the distinct feeling you’re being judged.
You thought you looked okay when you picked out the simple but nicer outfit; black sweater, maroon skirt, tall black boots. It’s classy but casual. You’re sure of it.
At least you were.
“So tell me about this thing with Yoonji,” Hwasa eventually says. You nearly choke on your cider.
“I mean...there’s not much to tell. We’ve hated each other ever since we met four years ago.”
“Oh?” Something lights up in her eyes that you don’t particularly like.
“Look, no offense to you or your girlfriend, Yoonji’s just...kinda mean for my tastes. I guess some people are into that.”
“Elaborate.” Her tone leaves no room for argument, and you find yourself explaining before you can stop. You tell her nearly everything, about all the shit Yoonji’s done to you, and by the time you’re finished, she’s actually smiling.
“Like...I’m sure you love her and all, otherwise you wouldn’t be dating her, but-”
“What? ” She nearly falls off the counter, she’s laughing so hard, and when you start to help steady her, she just waves you off. “No, sweetie, I’m dating Chungha, not Yoonji.”
“I thought you were dating both of them? Did you all break up?”
“Oh my god , she wasn’t kidding,” Hwasa says breathlessly, still fighting back giggles. “Holy shit, this explains so much. Ha, oh my god, no, we never were dating Yoonji, she’s just our best friend. Like you and that Taehyung guy?”
“Oh.” You feel foolish; it makes sense, friends can be just as physically close as romantic partners. You and Taehyung are proof enough of that. “I...just assumed…”
“I know, but you’re definitely wrong. You drink more cider, stew on that, maybe rethink things from another perspective, I’ve got to tell Chungha about this, it’s too good.” Hwasa hops off the counter with ease and disappears out the door before you can ask her to explain what she means about other perspectives. You can hear giggles as they slowly drown in the chatter of the party and the soft carols playing over the speakers.
You stay in the kitchen for a while, nursing your cider and thinking. If Yoonji doesn’t have two model-hot girlfriends, then could you have been onto something in the jeep that night? You’ve hated her for so long, and assumed that she hates you in return, but if you were wrong about the girlfriends, then maybe you’re wrong about that, too.
Something enters your vision and you look up, nearly spitting out your drink as you do.
Yoonji stands in front of you, in a slinky green velvet dress that she keeps tugging the bottom of. It doesn’t look like anything she usually wears, down to the floral lace tights and the wedge heels that make her even taller than she already is, and she looks slightly uncomfortable if the burn in her cheeks is any indication.
The worst part is that she looks good. Like, good good. It suits her, even if it isn’t her usual style, and for once you can’t deny the attraction swirling within your stomach.
“What are you wearing?” She asks angrily, glaring down at your clothes like they kicked her dog - whom you have not seen tonight, which is a travesty, because you adore Holly. A cough echoes from somewhere behind the two of you, and Yoonji wrinkles her nose. “I mean...I like...your outfit.”
You quirk a brow at her and set your cider down on the counter nearby. “Really? Because it looks like you want to tear it off and then set it on fire.” Something complicated happens with her expression and a spark ignites in your mind.
“Are you sick?” She asks. Her face does something else complicated as a groan echoes from nearby, and something painful twists in your stomach. You really didn’t think you looked that bad. “I mean, after the other day. With the snow. And the cold. Are you sick?”
“Is...this your way of telling me I look ill?” You ask her. She frowns. “Because if wanted me to leave your party, all you had to do was say that, you don’t have to insult me.” You head toward the door of the kitchen and there’s a scrambling that sounds much too loud for just her friends.
So your friends are also eavesdropping. Fantastic. Now everyone knows she’s insulted you. Just what you needed tonight.
Her hand catches your wrist as you’re about to leave the kitchen. “I didn’t mean it like that,” She mumbles, not making eye contact. “I just...wanted to make sure you were feeling okay. It was really cold that night, and you were out there for a long time.”
“So, what, you suddenly care? Why? Because you don’t want to win by default or something?”
“No, because I-” She cuts herself off with a groan, and you’re glad there are so many people around, because it seems like everyone’s distracted with something else. They’re too busy to notice this absolutely disastrous conversation.
“Hey look,” Taehyung says, appearing from nowhere and pulling roughly on Yoonji’s arm until she’s standing beside you in the doorway. “Mistletoe! How random! Guess you have to kiss!”
“That’s a stupid tradition,” Yoonji spits, and you’re inclined to agree with her. “Forcing people to kiss just because of some plant? How is that okay? Besides, it’s got nothing to do with the actual myth behind it, and-” She sounds like she could go on forever, but you cut her off.
“And it’s not like we want to kiss anyway.” Her grip on your wrist slackens, and you turn to look at her. Uncertainty fills you as you look at her expression, because the only word that comes to mind is crestfallen. “Right?”
“I...I mean…” Taehyung disappears as Yoonji searches for words, and you just know he’s hanging out somewhere nearby to watch it all happen.
“Because we’re nemeses.” You say slowly. “We hate each other.”
“Do we?” Yoonji asks quietly, threading her fingers through yours. “Do you?”
“Don’t you? ” You ask her. “You’ve been nothing but rude to me since we met. You’ve insulted me, and stolen my decorating ideas, and-”
“No,” She says quickly. “No, I never meant any of it like that, you just never gave me a chance to explain. You’re...you’re so pretty, and I always get flustered around pretty people, and I say the wrong things.”
“You told me I wasn’t as good if I didn’t have a significant other the first time we met.”
“I was trying to figure out if you were interested in women, and when you said you were, I just...panicked, because I figured you had someone, because you’re…” She gives a wave to your general being.
“You stole my dancing snowman.”
“I did not! I heard someone talking about a dancing snowman at the tree nursery, and I didn’t realize it was you, and I thought, since I couldn’t stop thinking about you, I’d get a dancing snowman that would play this cheesy playlist thing I made for you. I didn’t know you were looking for it, and I didn’t steal your idea. Not on purpose, anyway.”
“Okay, well...last year you were so rude! And you said you wouldn’t listen when I talked!”
“I thought…” She trails off, looking ashamed. “I thought you were dating Taehyung, and I got jealous. But the listening comment wasn’t like that! It’s because I always zone out because I like to listen to you talk, because your voice is so pretty, but I never hear what you actually say, and also you just...are really pretty. So I get distracted.”
“I…” You’re rather speechless; your entire world has shifted on its axis. “I thought you hated me.”
“Never.” Yoonji insists. “I just don’t know how to talk to pretty girls.”
“You hang out with Hwasa. And Chungha.”
“Yeah, and?” Her brows furrow. “What’s your point?” If you could, you would keysmash at her, but as it stands, you just gape.
“Uh, they’re literally model gorgeous?”
“Oh, are they?” She looks down at where your fingers are still entwined with hers. “I hadn’t noticed.”
You blink at her, and she looks up at you. There’s a faint smile playing on her lips, and something bright in her eyes that you haven’t seen before.
“I’m sorry,” You say, shaking your head. “I just still don’t-”
“Will you shut up?” Yoonji asks, free hand coming to gently glide across your cheek. “And let me kiss you?” Your jaw shuts with a snap and you nod.
Her lips are soft against your own, and your breath catches in your throat as you return the kiss. Her hand moves to grip your jaw, tilting your head ever so slightly so the two of you fit together that little bit better, and your hands come to rest on her hips.
Electricity sparks through you to her. She pulls back just a little and you’re distracted by the way her tongue darts out to wet her lips.
“This might be moving a little fast, since we hated each other an hour ago-”
“You hated me an hour ago,” She corrects.
“But I would be very, very happy taking this to a more private area so I can express to you just how apologetic I am that I thought you hated me.” You tear your gaze from her lips to look at her face. Her eyes are dark, pupils blown out at the mere thought.
“Upstairs,” She growls, already pushing you in the direction of the staircase. You’re both speeding through the crowd of people as fast as you can without being obvious, and you have to help her every few feet because she’s wobbly in her heels, but by the time you make it up the stairs and into her room, you’re both desperate.
Her mouth meets yours with a fire behind it that you’ve never felt before, and you hardly even get the door closed before she pushes you back against it. Your tongue darts along the seam of her lips and she grants you entrance, and you could moan at just the taste of her if you were just a little weaker.
“Do you know how many times I’ve thought about this?” She whispers, moving to nip at your neck. Her hands are under your sweater and you don’t even remember them getting there, but you can’t complain as they move to cup your breasts and tweak your nipples through your bra. “Can you even imagine how many times I’ve dreamt of touching you? Tasting you? Hearing you moan?”
She bites, hard and rough, and you can’t stop the moan that escapes you. How she possibly knows that you like that is something you don’t have the energy to ponder, nor the will to question.
“Please,” You breathe, hands tangling in her hair as she sucks a mark into the skin of your throat. She’s slotted between your thighs and your hips are rutting against hers ever so slightly, desperate for some friction. You know you’ve already soaked through your panties, which is a feat considering all she’s done is play with your nipples a little and kiss you like you’ve never been kissed.
“What is it, angel?” Her voice is deeper than usual, roughened by the desire coursing through your veins and hers, and it only makes you wetter. “What would you like me to do?”
“Anything,” You plead. “Please, just touch me.”
“Anything?” Yoonji mutters. She chuckles, low and raspy and so unbearably attractive that you want to scream. You almost do scream, from frustration, when she pulls her hands away from your nipples, but she drops to her knees and you forgive her.
Yoonji kisses up your thighs, from the edge of your boots all the way to where the hem of your skirt hits mid-thigh, and her hands are warm as they slide underneath. She doesn’t stop kissing you, not even as she lifts the fabric of your skirt and nips at the crease where your thighs meet your hips. Still, she’s so far away from where you need her, that you can’t help your whine.
“Patience, angel,” She whispers as she glides one finger along your fabric-covered lips. Your hips rut forward on instinct, and she laughs a little.
“You stole my dancing snowman, you could at least be quick about this,” You mutter.
“What’s the fun in being rushed?” She leans forward to mouth at your pussy through your underwear and your legs tremble slightly. She’s gentle as her hands slide your underwear down to pool around your ankles, and even more gentle as they glide back up to rest on your thighs. “But I’ll be nice this time. Besides, I’ve been dreaming of what this pussy tastes like for years.”
Anything else you might say to her is cut off with a moan as her tongue starts to tease at your clit. One of your hands comes to rest on the back of her hair before you even realize you’ve moved, and she takes that as all the encouragement she needs.
Yoonji eats pussy like it’s the last meal she’ll ever have, and you’re in absolute awe. The way her tongue moves against you is absolute bliss, no matter where it is; she teases at your entrance, sliding the very tip of her tongue inside to gather your wetness before she runs the flat of it up to your clit, where she circles and sucks mercilessly before moving back down to thrust it in and out and in and out relentlessly. She coaxes an orgasm out of you faster than anyone else ever has, and even as your writhing against the door with her head under your skirt, she doesn’t stop.
Instead, she slides one long finger inside of you and keeps it there. She doesn’t move it, doesn’t even allow it to twitch, but it’s there and you can feel it as she wraps her lips around your clit and sucks, making your clench around her. She moans into your pussy, too, the entire time she’s at work between your legs, and it only turns you on more when you glance down to see her hand between her legs.
“Yoonji, please, I want, please, I wanna taste you too, please,” You beg, tugging gently on her hair until she pulls back. Her chin is covered in your cum and the sight is so unbelievably unerotic that you could probably come just from that.
“Take this off,” She growls, pulling on your skirt as she stands. You do as she says without hesitation, more than willing to get naked if it means getting your mouth on her, and by the time your boots are in the corner with the rest of your clothes, she’s just as naked as you are.
And god, she’s beautiful.
Your lips meet hers again as you push her towards the bed, and you can taste yourself on her tongue as it slides against yours. The two of you tumble onto the mattress and you situate yourself between her thighs. It isn’t until you’ve got her legs spread wide and your licking and sucking at her nipples that you register that her face is flushed with something new.
“What is it?” You ask, panting, as you detach from her - beautiful, wonderful, adorable, perfect - tits. “Do you not want me to? I don’t have to, I just would really like to, it’s up to you.”
“No, it’s not that, I’ve just never…” She trails off, looking embarrassed, and realization smacks you in the face.
“No one has ever gone down on you before?” You ask in disbelief. She shakes her head.
“I’ve always been the one to do so, all the other girls have been kind of...well. I’m usually the dominant one, so…”
“Yoonji, sweetheart,” You say seriously, pressing a kiss to her cheek with each word. “Will you allow to me to eat you out? Because seriously, those other girls are trash, and I would absolutely cherish the experience if it’s something you want.”
Her face turns even more pink and she nods. You press a quick kiss to her lips and gently spread her thighs so you have better access. You mimic her actions from earlier, pressing kisses to her thighs and the crease of her hips. When you finally get a taste of her, you moan.
She tastes like absolute fucking bliss, you decide as you glide your tongue through her folds. You could live off of nothing but the taste for her until the end of time itself, and the way she moves is amazing. Little jerks and thrusts, and her fingers tangle in your hair to push you closer even as her hips pull away slightly.
Your tongue rubs circles around her clit, flicking and licking and coaxing her closer and closer to her high. You dip down to fuck your tongue into her for a second or two, and the way her back arches is art in motion. You reach one hand up to tweak one of her nipples while your other arm remains wrapped around her hip like a steel bar, keeping her in place even as she grinds against your mouth.
You remember how it felt earlier when she wrapped her lips around your clit, so you mimic the action. Her bud fits perfectly between your lips, and when you suck on it, she tenses. Everything stops for a second, and you’re afraid maybe you ruined it, but then her whole body jerks, and she presses you hard against her. You lap up her essence as it comes, eager and more than willing, and when she finally stops spasming, you pull yourself away with a grin.
“Holy shit,” She mutters, and you laugh.
“I can’t believe no one’s ever eaten you out before,” You sigh, one hand sliding along her waist to massage her breasts. “Does that mean no one’s ever fucked you before either?”
“I mean…” You stop, staring at her with wide eyes. “I told you, I’m usually the dominant one, so most people don’t really...return the favor.”
“Can I please fuck you?” You ask in a rush. “Please, I promise I’ll be gentle.” She huffs a little, and you think it’s amused but you can’t be sure, because she’s spreading her legs again and your focus is elsewhere.
“Yeah, angel, you can fuck me.”
You lower yourself to kiss her, lingering and deep, and you don’t miss the moan she gives as she tastes herself on your tongue. You wait until she’s thoroughly distracted by the way your mouths move, then glide your fingers over her.
Her clit is still sensitive, based on the way she jumps as you ghost your fingers over it, so you avoid that. You don’t want to overwhelm her. She groans as you slide a single single finger inside her, and you moan.
Her walls are softer than the velvet of her dress, and warm around you. She’s tight, too, so incredibly tight that you aren’t sure you’ll be able to fit another inside her. She moans as you slide your finger out and then back in, gathering more of her wetness as you do.
You’re careful as you fuck her, gentle and slow, and you think you could get addicted to it. Her hips move in time with your hand, gaining speed as you do. “Fuck, angel, it’s so good,” She whimpers. You smile.
“Let me know if it gets too much, okay?” She nods, and you start to slide a second finger in. Yoonji winces, just a little, so you slow until her hips rock against your hand.
“More,” She breathes. “Please, more.”
“As you wish,” You tell her. You still are gentle as you thrust into her, feeling her walls contract around you. It’s heaven, absolute perfection, and you tell her so as she grips onto the sheets.
You latch your mouth onto her nipple as you continue fucking her, biting and sucking as your fingers curl.
“I need, ah, please, I need more, I need, holy fuck, to come, I need to come,” She moans desperately. You grin and curl your fingers more, sliding them against her walls. You finally find what you’re looking for, that small spongey spot that has her convulsing around you.
“That’s right, baby,” You coo, “Come on, I know you want to.”
Her hands are in a death grip on your shoulders, and they only get tighter as you press harder against that spot inside her. She comes with a cry that you muffle with your own mouth, her body shaking as she lets go.
You slide your fingers out when she’s relaxed a little more, licking the taste of her off as she pants.
“Holy shit,” She breathes. You grin, peppering kisses along her stomach, up her chest, along her throat and over her cheeks. “Can we do that every day?”
“I dunno,” You tease. “Are you going to steal my dancing snowman again?”
She rolls her eyes and shoves at your shoulder, and you laugh.
“I’m just saying, you’re supposed to be nice to the people you like.”
“I’m bad at that, though,” She mutters. “I always just...say the wrong thing. I’m more of a do-er.”
“I’m still caught up on how I was supposed to know you liked me based on the things you did.”
“Really?” She huffs, glaring at you playfully. “I went tree shopping at five in the morning for you.”
“Yeah,” You say softly, grinning. “You did.”
25 Days of Christmas: A BTS Christmas Anthology
#25DaysofBTSXmas#ficswithluv#ksmutclub#btswriterscollective#smutcentralnet#yoonji fanfic#yoonji smut#yoonji angst#yoonji fluff#bts fanfic#bts smut#bts angst#bts fluff#reader insert#yoonji x reader#yoonmin#namyoonmin#jinkook#chungha x hwasa#magicshopnet#ddaenggtan
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Me and Tai have been Discussing Hogwarts again and were talking about classes. Obviously everyone would have their favorites and ones they'd be good at.
Charms would be my best and Favorite subject. It's mostly practical not theoretical. It's the most useful in everyday wizarding life. You learn a huge assortment of stuff from a knitting spell to a bubblehead charm. Like there are all different kinds of charms out there. And I feel like there's no end to what you can do. If something doesnt exist, you could make new charms and Prof. Flitwick would guide you along the way. He seems like one of the nicest teachers and most patient.
Even though I'd be a Muggle born coming into a world of Magic for the first time and I'd be excited for everything I'd probably hate HOM.Cuz like History of magic is taught by a guy who bored his own self to death. So thats probably a class id sleep through even if the subject matter were interesting. Goblin Rebellion sounds interesting as hell until you hear it being taught in a monotone voice and then you're suddenly being shaken awake and have a pool of drool on your face that you have to hastily wipe off bc it's time for the next class.
Divination is a wooly discipline. You have to have a given gift its not really something that can be taught. If you dont have an aptitude for it you cant hone anything. If you do have a gift for clairvoyance I think the class is a good one to take, it's not useless. Just useless to me. I'm not the sort who would have the sight. So prophecies and future and stuff is beyond me. So divination would be a waste of my time that I could spend doing something else.
Arithmancy is magic math who wants that?
Herbology is plants and I kill plants only these ones may try and kill me back. I think I'd find it interesting, I wouldn't be bored but I wouldn't retain it. It's used alot for potions ingredients. And I'd be fuckin useless at Potions.
Potions is cooking/science/math all in one. Anyone who has ever seen me try and do math or science knows I should not be allowed to create something that could potentially poison someone if done incorrectly. Also. Ive only been allowed to cook breakfast foods my whole life bc my sister runs the kitchen and doesn't let me try things so now I'm to lazy and don't want to. I cook rice in the microwave. It would be a miracle if I could scrape a passing grade for Potions at all.
Astronomy may be a good one. Staying up late. Learning the stars and the constellations. The placings. Charting and mapping. That would be helpful for adventuring, could navigate at night, by knowing where the stars are in relation to each other in terms of directions.
I feel like Id get super frustrated with Transfiguration bc id be over thinking it. To worried about the actual molecular structure of what im trying to transfigure. And stressing out cuz im not good at math and science. So i have no idea how to make it work. And when i do make it work its by dumb luck not bc i actually understand how im doing it. And when i TRY to understand it I just end up stressing out more bc i cant.
DADA I'd be good at. It's a practical class with practical application. Yes it requires some research for things like the creatures/beings you go up against, but once you've fought a Boggart you'll know how to fight it again. The situations may change but you'll know the spell. And it's something that requires action not as much sitting down and studying. My brain is broken. I need the classes I can move with.
Care of Magical Creatures I would love. New animals? Yes. Sign me up. I have 8 cats, 2 dogs and a turtle at home. But over my life we've had rabbits, lizards, hamsters, guinea pigs, fish, rats, birds and hermit crabs. I would love the hell out of new animals. My problem would be, like in the HP game now, I'd adopt these animals on the Reserve, take care of them and then it would be time for me to graduate and my ass would be like, "ok everyone into the magic bag, yup, yup once we get home Ill let you out. But come on, in you get." And Id take all of them.
Any muggle classes Id pass on, cuz I'm muggle born so that's a waste of time.
Ancient runes is a book course. Like. All studying and memorization. Boring. I mean. It could be interesting I guess. But in the way that like studying Heiroglyphics is inyeresting. In that I think its interesting in theory. I think the subject matter is fascinating. Id love to learn more. But you put the book in front of me and my brain shuts off. I'm not gonna be able to focus on this man.
.....It has just come to my attention that in order to obtain my desired job of Curse-breaker I have to take
Arithmancy and Ancient runes.
Well. Fuck me sideways.
I guess that makes sense, seeing as Curse breakers work for the banks most of the time but still. Can I be exempt seeing as how I'm a chosen one from Hogwarts? I've been finding Vaults and breaking curses for 6 years w/o this shit. May I be excused?
What do you mean no exceptions? But I have a recommendation from Bill Weasley! Plus! In a few years Harry Potter wont even Take his N.E.W.Ts but that bitch gets to be an Auror. Wtf.
Oooooh so you die ONE TIME for all of wizardom and you get a pass. Bitches.
Fine. Sign me up for both classes then.
I also MUST get an O on Transfigurations and Potions to get into the NEWT classes and an O or an E on Charms and DADA (The Classes Id probably pass with an O np) Luckily I only need to take the Arithmancy Owl no NEWT required. It doesnt say specifically if a NEWT is required for Ancient Runes. Or if Id need an O or E to get there. But lets hope I dont need it and that I can just take both with the OWLs and get an E. The NEWTS are Probably preferred but not necessary. So if I only just pass my OWL no biggie.
Someone better break out the Monsters and chocolate. And be ready to tutor the fuck out of me the week before exams to cram as much info into my head. Bc Im not retaining shit throughout the year.
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Hurting (John B x Reader)
A/N: Ayeee another John B fic! I feel like John B is the hardest character to write about for me and I just don’t know why lol. Also, this was requested by my friend Maggie @anonymous0writer so I hope I did a good job with this. Oh, and go check her out! She’s amazing and really talented!
Pairing: John B x Reader
Word Count: 1,765
Request: I gotta give you a John B. Maybe an angsty one where his girlfriend realizes he’s dead (maybe without Sarah? or Sarah goes with him bc of her dad?) that or one where JB gets hurt and you have to take care of him and get super worried? Thank you! ily
Summary: John B is dead. And now you’re mad at yourself because of it.
Warnings: Super angsty and a lot of guilt and self-loathing from the reader. Mentions of virginity loss and death.
I know this is short but I really am bad at writing angst :(
HURTING
You thought you had known pain. You really did. All those times your parents would express how disappointed in you they were, or all those times where you had just fucked things up and felt guilty.
They didn’t compare to this. They really didn’t.
You couldn’t feel the cold, humid grass that surrounded your knees and legs, and you sure as hell couldn’t feel your burning tears. You could only feel pain, and your sobs and everything happening around you seemed to be muffled. Almost as if you were all alone.
You were certain that the rest of your friends were trying to comfort you. But you knew nothing would work. They were hurting almost as much as you, and none of you were in your right minds to even begin to comfort someone else. All they could do was share their pain as you shared yours.
JJ was the first to wrap his arms around you. This was mainly due to the fact that his father and your parents hadn’t shown up at the police tent. So while Pope and Kie hugged their parents and sobbed into their warm and comforting chests, you were stuck with the blond. Not that you really minded, as he was probably more warm and comforting than your parents could ever be. Besides, you were used to JJ’s presence, as you had been comforted by him before.
Back then, your problems seemed to be the worst thing that had ever happened to you. The unreciprocated feelings you had for John B, JJ’s best friend, ripping you apart. All JJ could do was hug you and assure you that you would be fine. You would wrap your hands around the blond and tell him exactly how you felt and he would make sure you were okay again. And you were when John B finally got his head out of the gutter and realized he had feelings for you as well.
Those problems and that pain were nothing compared to what you were feeling right now. They were stupid and silly and dumb and childish and nothing. Now you knew what true pain felt like. It was blinding in a way that made you not even realize what was going on. Your friends were now all around you, hugging you, but you couldn’t even feel them. It was enraging in a way that made you feel anger towards the people around you and those who were guilty. Deputy Shoupe. Ward Cameron. His son, Rafe. Everyone. Even JJ, Kiara, and Pope.
The days before had been an absolute nightmare. John B had been blamed for a murder he didn’t even commit and he was on the run. And worst of all, he was on the run without you. And in your place was Sarah Cameron.
You wanted to hate her. You really, truly, deeply did. But you couldn’t. You knew the only reason she had followed after John B during his police chase was because she knew everything that had gone down at the runway. The only reason she had boarded onto the Phantom was because of her father. The only reason it hadn’t been you there with him was because he had begged you not to come with him.
The pain you felt was so enraging it made you hate yourself. Hate yourself for not getting on the Phantom and not following John B onto the runway and not going after him when he escaped from the car you were in with the rest of the Pogues. Your hate for yourself was actually guilt, just buried beneath the surface of what you portrayed to the outer world.
You didn’t realize how Kie and Pope had latched onto your arms and pulled you up while JJ kept himself behind you, preventing you from crumbling down again. Your tear-stained face was making everybody uncomfortable, never having seen you cry this way before, and your brusque movements were trying to push everyone away.
You didn’t have the strength for it anymore. You had kept everyone except John B at an arms-length during this whole treasure hunt, and now you just couldn’t take it. Your walls, much like yourself, tumbled to the ground and laid in ruins.
Your friends moved you into a car that you recognized as Heyward’s old pickup truck. Your breath was shallow and coming out in rapid strokes, and JJ knew you were having a panic attack. He felt one rise in his own throat, but he pushed it down to help you. His strong arms wrapped around you, whispering into your ears about how to control your breathing and how to calm down.
His arms didn’t feel like home though. And they never would. Because they weren’t John B’s arms. They weren’t the arms of the boy you loved. Instead of smelling saltwater and orange-scented shampoo, you smelled freshly cut grass and a hint of weed. You tried to shake the blond boy off for a second time that night, but once again, your attempts were proved futile. You were completely drained of strength, of hope, of life.
You had managed to calm down when the car stopped, and Heyward opened the door for you and JJ to step out. You looked up at the old fishing shack. This place was a living memory of everything that happened. Everything you had gone through and everything you had ever said to each other was here, in the Chateau. The walls were filled with memories, the cracks between the tiles in the floor filled with laughter and cheap beer, and the leaky roof dripped happiness. Another sobbed raked your body as you tore your eyes away, not knowing if you would be physically able to enter the old house.
JJ was speaking to Heyward, and after saying goodbye and wiping some tears away, JJ took you into his arms and led you inside.
You both stood at the open doorway, tears streaming down your face as you saw all the good that was held inside the Chateau float out into the night air through the open door. Everything - the memories, the laughs, the cries, the good and the bad - passed right between you and JJ, and you tried to grasp onto it with all your might. However hard you tried, everything slipped through your fingers, and your shared look with JJ was enough to have the both of you breaking down.
Somehow you ended up in John B’s bed. One of his few shirts that wasn’t a Hawaiian button-up was adorning your body as you submerged yourself in the dirty sheets. When you inhaled you felt the salty smell with the hint of orange you wished you could be wrapped around permanently. Another sob broke out through your lips as you remembered everything that had happened on that very bed.
From sleepovers before you had developed feelings for each other to losing your virginity. From sharing your thoughts on growing old together to him tickling you until you would give in and kiss him. From your panic attacks to his. Everything in the room reminded you of your boyfriend. The one you loved with all of your being and soul. The one you would always think about before going to bed and right after waking up. The one that put you though hell sometimes but it was all worth it for. The one you would live and die for.
But how could you do all those things if he was gone? Gone and never return. You screwed your eyes shut, trying to push away these dark thoughts. You tried to remember all of the good things about him, about John B.
His hair reminded you of waterfalls because of how smoothly it was always in place. The color of his locks reminded you of the chocolate bars he would buy you every once in a while. The highlights between the brown tresses would remind you of the beach and surfing and having fun with the Pogues. His eyes were so green they brought life into the world, almost as if there was truly a whole forest contained inside of them. The shape of them, although not exactly symmetric, was entrancing, and pulled your thought towards what John B could possibly be hiding behind his orbs. His mouth was always chapped, and you almost laughed as you remembered how much you would insist on him wearing chapstick, but his kisses were so soft that you forgot about their dry state almost immediately. The curves of his lips reminded you of his smooth-talking, almost as if his words were born from the bends of their outlining. John B’s nose was straight and long, and you remembered how soft his skin would feel when you would trace your fingers down the bridge of it after spending nights together. His voice was silky and sweet, and the thought of it made you feel warm and fuzzy inside. His words were romantic and breezy, his leisurely pace when speaking reminding you of lazy days spent on the hammock together. His body was crafted by gods, and you remember every dip and ridge of his muscles and bone structure. His laugh reminded you of crashing waves on the shoreline and discovering new things to do together. The jovial sound brought back memories of cliff jumping with the Pogues, inside jokes, and late-night, stary-skied bonfires. And finally, you thought of him. John B as a whole. And you thought of how his soul reminded you of a new born’s first laugh or blowing out dandelions or skipping through meadows and fields or surfing your first wave.
John B had been everything good in your life, and you couldn’t bear to even think he had been ripped away from you.
Through the fine walls of the Chateau, you could listen to JJ’s sobs. The noise was loud compared to your cries, but you had your mouth pressed against your lips as you tried to ignore what had happened. You brought your hands up to your temples and almost ripped your hair out at the thought of not having John B by your side anymore. It broke your heart and your soul in a way that you knew you never be able to recover from.
But that was okay. You didn’t want to recover. John B had been everything - and he would continue to be so.
As you drifted off to sleep that night, you imagined he was still with you. At least when you lied to yourself you could smile.
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hey hey hey!! i’m jay (he/him), and i’m here live to bring robin penn to the scene. he’s your run of the mill uber progressive film bro whose interests include whole foods, organically-rolled joints, and being the wokest person in the room. more info below the cut, and feel free to message me if you wanna plot :))
( avan jogia, cis male, he/him ). hey, isn’t that [ ROBIN PENN ] walking down bennington street? i think the [ 25 ] YEAR OLD [ FILMMAKER ] is from [ CHERRY HILLS VILLAGE, CO ]. i’ve heard some rumors down at ginger’s, saying that they're [ SELF-RIGHTEOUS AND GUARDED ], but then again they’re known to be [ CHARMING AND INNOVATIVE ]. either way, they seem to be interesting, hope they’ll stick around.
stats ;
full name: robin chatura penn
place and dob: cherry hills village, co on november 23rd, 1994 (did i do that math right oh god)
sexuality: pansexual
zodiac sign: sagittarius
hogwarts house: gryffindor
parallels: kyle scheible (lady bird), vanessa abrams (gossip girl), elliot alderson (mr. robot), miss grotke (recess), tyler durden (fight club), kate stratford (10 things i hate about you), diane nguyen (bojack horseman), jay gatsby (the great gatsby)
background ;
okay so! first thing to know about robin is that he’s hella disingenous about his background, so even though this is like ~ the truth ~ he’s definitely told your character something different (although he tries to mention his past as little as possible, mostly just sprinkles tidbits that he knows he can keep up) when they ask
but with that being said !!! robin penn grows up in upper class suburbia and it’s the thing he hates the most about himself. he’s the third of five kids so he’s got huge middle child syndrome, but also since his parents had like four other kids to show off they were kind of content with him doing his own thing? so he becomes the black sheep of the penn family easily, and is also kind of the outcast of his entire neighborhood? but i mean, they looked down on him and at the same time he looked down on them from his high horse of progressivism, so it was all very mutual
but growing up without any tangible people to relate to isn’t all bad, because it’s how he discovers movies! he watched every classic there is pretty quickly and moved onto niche foreign films, which is why he’s now so well-versed in like absurdist french films from the late 80′s when nobody else gives a fuck
he makes his first film at fifteen and uploads it to youtube, where it does fairly well!! it by now means makes him a viral sensation or anything, but it’s successful enough to make him a god amongst the outcasts and artsy types at his high school. this is where a lot of his ego and confidence and “i’m woker than you” complex gets super intensified, because the kids he was surrounded by were all entitled rich preps who were like ~wow you know about the war in iran~ and loved to put him on a pedastal of knowing so much about the world and being such an activist when he’s really just another left-leaning anarcho-socialist
his parents try for like .2 secs to convince him that the film industry is unreliable and not the best to go into, but he obviously doesn’t listen so they cough up some money and send him off to usc
and finally!! he is free from his upbringing!! he can be whoever he wants!! so that’s exactly what he does. i’ll just insert this portion of my app in bc i think it encapsulates it pretty well: and this is where robin 2.0 begins. it’s not that he’s ashamed of where he comes from - except that, well, yes he is. he hates the idea of making all these pictures about oppression and class struggle only to come from the dictionary definition of affluent privilege. so he doesn’t lie, necessarily, but he does borrow some storylines from the thousands of movies he’s seen in his life. at freshman orientation he comes from a poor village in east india; at a party downtown he’s from the wrong side of the tracks in the bronx; and at a local art gallery, where he first meets raphael brooks, he’s from a broken home on the outskirts of san francisco. he is the writer of his own life, able to keep each storyline perfectly separate, and he doesn’t say a word to anyone when he goes back to his million-dollar estate in the hills of colorado
he does well at film school, he makes some pretty decent films and because of his charming and magnetic nature he gets a good bit of job offers that would have him staying in la BUT he’s like “fuck that, la is superficial and pretentious and i’m gonna go to new york and make REAL art”
so he does, kind of? i’m literally so tired asfjkaslj i’m sorry i’m just gonna copy and paste more from my app, fuck original wording all my homies hate original wording: new york is everything he imagined it to be and yet nothing like it at all. he’s a stranger in this city all over again, and while that excites him as far as being able to craft a new character for himself, it also means he’s starting from scratch. and while everyone in california is obsessed with the glitz and glamour of movies, it feels like robin’s style of grit and provocativeness is the status quo amongst new york filmmakers. he finds himself resorting back to that rich boy attitude buried deep within him, wanting to be worshipped for his artistry and originality without wanting to put in any of the work. it’s been months now since he’s been able to beat this lazy streak and start on a new project, and it’s left him relying on asking his parents for rent money while telling everyone he’s just raking in an income from old and new projects alike. still, now that he’s in this rut, he can’t help but pass the days and wonder: is this it for him? is he a one-hit wonder only capable of regurgitating what everyone around him has already produced, or is there still a story inside of him to tell?
that’s it, i think !! i’m sorry i’m functioning on so little sleep, feel free to message me with any questions or concerns or complaints or PLOTS very excited to get started, xoxoxo
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In your Barbie-verse, how did Rip and Finn meet/become friends?- That PCS Anon
Honestly, I’ve never had a super good answer for this, partly bc any way I get them to meet feels somewhat contrived. At this point I’m kinda just trying to lean into it as truly serendipitous and random but idk if that works.
That all being said...
Right now I’m thinking that they met in London in late December 1988.
Rip was 17 and sort of in the middle of a somewhat terrifying venture around the world, as he had entered a fairy flyway trying to see where they went (since he can identify such things by sight)... But, since he has no idea how to navigate them, he gets spit out somewhere random. Repeat several times as he tries to land somewhere somewhat close to home. One of his stops (second to last) is London, so he’s wandering around trying to find a new flyway.
Finn, on the other hand, is 18 and about to move to the US in the hopes of being a musician. (Yes, I know there’s a music scene in London, I’m not an idiot, but I need Finn to be in LA.) And since he’s about to leave for the US where the drinking age is 21 instead of 18, he decides to go out and have kind of a last hurrah (also a first hurrah, since I don’t picture him as much of a drinker. But it’s something he wants to try before he leaves just bc he won’t be able to for 3 years, legally at least). So he’s tipsy and leaving a pub.
And then they just... bump into each other on the street. Rip sees that Finn’s drunk and decides it’s safe to ask him, you know, where the fuck he is. And Finn’s like how tf do you not know where you are? You’ve gotta be drunker than I am and Rip’s like haha yeah I sure am buddy. Anyway Finn rambles on a bit about how he’s about to move and his hopes and dreams and Rip’s like cool I live in Malibu maybe I’ll see you there won’t that be fun also where am I btw? And then Finn gets a cab home and Rip wanders around til he finds another flyway and that’s the end of it. Or so they think.
(That flyway takes Rip to Paris, and he ends up crashing Lilliana Roxelle’s New Year’s Eve party. And then he freaks her out by complimenting her wings and she demands to know what his deal is so he explains being lost and bouncing around the world, and she sends him thru her personal portal to Rodeo Drive. And that’s how they met.)
Anyway, cut to awhile later (less than 4 months). And they bump into each other on the street again, in LA, and Finn’s like hey don’t I know you from somewhere? And Rip’s like No You Sure Don’t and Finn’s like no I know you, you’re that guy who was like dead drunk and couldn’t figure out where he was! It’s crazy running into you again! And Rip’s like haha yeah it’s crazy alright. (Privately, he thinks it’s par for the fucking course in his life. This shit just always happens to him, he just gets into weird situations.) And Finn’s like what were you even doing in London and at this point Rip is just trying to get out of the conversation, not bc he doesn’t like Finn, Finn seems cool and all but Rip hates to lie and if he tells the truth ppl just think he’s crazy so he doesn’t have like, any friends. (Except Lilliana.)
But Finn’s kinda not taking the hint so Rip is like well actually I walked into a magical portal I wasn’t supposed to be using and got lost and spent the next couple weeks traveling around the world trying to get home again. My dad thought I was dead and my brother said I ruined him proposing to his girlfriend by being missing, it was great. It was really fucking great. And Finn’s like how tf do you find and use a magical portal if you’re not supposed to? And Rip explains about his magic and seeing fairies everywhere and how none of them will talk to a human and they get freaked out when he approaches them bc he knows what they are even with their wings hidden and how it all fucking sucks. And Finn’s like yeah that sounds like it would suck, and he doesn’t really believe Rip at this point but he’s kinda waiting to see just how far Rip will take this whole shenanigan. Anyway they trade numbers (Rip in disbelief and Finn more like, well I want to see what shit this dude’s gonna say next) and start hanging out. And at one point Finn is like c’mon, man, really... What is with all the fairy shit? Like I thought you were trying to pull some bizarre prank but now I don’t know what to think. And Rip’s like everything I told you is 100% real.
And like... Rip has no proof. That’s the whole thing, he has no proof whatsoever, it’s why Break never believed him, it’s why nobody ever believed him. But Finn’s been hanging out with him for awhile and he knows him pretty well at this point so he’s thinking, this guy is either trying to pull the weirdest, most elaborate prank in the history of the world or he might actually be telling the truth. So he starts to kinda believe him, bc like, even if it was a prank... What’s the goal, here? “Dude you made me believe in fairies, that’s hilarious”? And he doesn’t do it for attention bc he’s not out there saying it to everyone, he doesn’t really like to talk about the fairy stuff at all (since it’s just a chore to be told he’s crazy and/or a liar at every turn). So it just doesn’t make sense that Rip would be THAT committed to the bit and never sway from his story at all, ever. So Finn starts to believe him, little by little, and he’s the only one who ever does (pre return, that is).
Anyway that’s the gist as of now. It’s not the most elegant solution but I think it works with how weird Rip’s life generally is and how things just happen to happen to and around him. Finn’s kinda just along for the ride.
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also it's def bc i just finished the finale for the 2nd time but my brain is basically chanting "amnesty" on repeat so im just going to throw out thoughts i have so i can sleep soon akdksjdjd
minerva and juno become best friends after a night when both of them were working a super late shift and they just ended up talking for hours. they talked abt minerva's culture on Five and how it compared to growing up on Earth and juno heard minerva's battle stories (some valiant, some regretful) and minerva learned all about how juno got into the forestry service, and the two of them just really click
also i firmly believe that, on her planet, minerva is funny as hell, it's just 1) learning Earth humor and 2) realizing that, while on Earth she is seen as exuberant and loud, most people on minerva's planet were just that energetic
minerva tho did (and still does) have her own flare and charm tho
damn most of these are gonna be minerva centric
her and duck adopt a cat named fig newton im pretty sure ive done this one before
minerva and leo are also best friends and leo will teasingly hold that over duck's head bc, while duck missed out on almost 30 years, leo's known minerva for probably 40, maybe 50? at his core, tho, leo is really happy for the two of them
aubrey can actually understand dr harris bonkers phd's rabbit chatter. for a while, everyone thought she was making shit up on the spot for the goofs, but it was dani who realized "wait holy shit they're actually talking"
dr harris bonkers phd does eventually learn human words except in the "picks up on language after hearing the same phrases a lot" way, with some notable mentions being "hi honey!" and "hey what the fuck!"
duck, aubrey, and thacker, whenever they're all on earth together, always get lunch together to hang out. they then either go to the cryptonomica (even thacker bc, even if he never met ned, he still has respect for him and really feels like he wouldve liked the guy) or amnesty lodge
mama tries to keep it on the down low but, when she knows thacker is coming back to earth, she keeps a little personal countdown bc she misses her best friend a lot
hollis, keith, and jake are all best friends again and jake is the #1 holleith supporter
hollis and aubrey become best friends and hollis takes her out on their motorcycle and they absolutely get the whole "now listen here, bring her back in one piece or else" talk from mama
while travelling together, the quell becomes even more curious abt thacker's life and, kinda like a juno-esque situation, she's really inspired by him
that one is basically canon but it makes me too emotional to not mention
aubrey is unsurprisingly really into halloween and dani, even tho it's not a sylvan holiday, celebrates it with her and they come back to earth to carve pumpkins and decorate with the folks left at amnesty lodge
also some domestic headcanons i have just bc i love domesticity: aubrey and dani adopt sylvan twins and their sylvan forms are what we would picture merfolk like? like with the more webbed ears/hands and gills and sharp teeth but also arms and legs (with fins on them). it also seems implied that duck and minerva have kids but im still putting thought into their domestic sphere bc i dont bs domesticity
kirby, aubrey, dani, hollis, jake, and keith all become a fun little group
fun little group B is duck, minerva, dr drake, leo, and juno. basically chosen club +1 bc they all love juno
mama and thacker are on their own and also roam everywhere bc they're just like that
kirby runs the cryptonomica with almost as much flare as ned, and ned's walking stick nearly never leaves his hand
barclay and stern both buy each other tacky bigfoot merch thinking that it would be a funny joke to pull for candlenights and now they just have matching bigfoot tshirts
barclay also cooks a ton of packed meals for thacker, aubrey, and duck to take back to their new homes
now with the rift in the inner sanctum, everyone tries to get together for family dinners once a month bc they all miss and love each other and want to catch up as much as they all can
(they always end up visiting more than once a month tho)
#i didnt proofread this sorry if there are typos aksksjdjd#taz amnesty#headcanons#also sorry i dont got a lot for stern/clay yet im still new to shipping them omfg#5#ducknerva#just bc idk if any mutuals have that blacklisted?
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hi we’re out here missing met gala season so here’s some Concepts of our fav fictional characters (avengers/stevetony and superbat- superbat are the last two) attending the gala and being hot and kicking ass:
the avengers are invited to the met gala the year after the battle of New York and while Bruce kindly opts out (“the big guy and paparazzi don’t exactly get along, Tony” Tony, getting flashbacks of being a teenage son of billionaire, nods. “Okay yeah that’s fair. We’ll sneak some canapés home in Nat’s purse for you, doc”) the rest of them agree to show up and fittingly the theme has to do with good vs evil in light of the battle of New York so of course the designers are so eager to work with the literal heroes (I mean have you seen them, they’re practically models anyway it’s perfect) and Steve keeps going to Tony and asking what all these rules and fittings and “they’re really gonna put me in THAT I don’t know if I’d be comfortable wearing that” bc he’s never done anything even sort of like this and Tony helps him and explains it to him over and over again and even talks to the designers to make sure they put Steve in something he won’t throw up on out of anxiety while nat takes it all in stride of course and clint just really doesn’t care at all as long as they feed him they can put him in whatever he wants and so finally it’s the big day and Tony organizes this dramatic entrance where he flies in with Steve and nat and Clint literally appear out of nowhere (which is impressive bc Nat’s dress is gorgeous and Clint’s suit basically has a train it’s so fucking gaudy and thor flies in just before iron man and cap show up and he’s got this HUGE cape just absolutely GINORMOUS and he looks so hot and they make just this absolutely jaw-dropping quintet and they’re the star of the whole thing anyway I just want them to be thotty and steal the show
(nat wears a black practically skintight dress with a slit running up the side and there’s a gradient at the bottom that makes it almost look like fire and she looks all very femme fatale/1950’s hollywood accented with a very military-looking sash around her belt (only Clint knows that she has a gun strapped to her other thigh) and then Clint wears this tux with a train like the gaudy bitch he is and there’s purple lining along the cuffs and I don’t know how but his biceps are definitely exposed somehow and he basically looks like a badass modern phantom of the opera kinda dude and he rocks it)
(and then there’s thor with his cape and so many sequins and custom metal armor shit and it’s a weird mix between asgardian fashion and modern midfardian fashion bc he had worked with the designers to get something true to him and he has bombass confidence and he’s just happy to be there)
( and then there’s Steve and Tony. Tony comes in stunting obviously bc this is not his first show (yes, he wears red and gold makeup, what about it?) and he does not do things in halves and it’s a black suit in essence but then it’s adorned with all sorts of iron man jewelry that are actual working tech and he literally glows (bc of the tech, it’s a bombass look) and he hovers his way down the carpet so that he matches Steve’s height. And then there’s Steve. Who comes flying in with Tony, not a hair out of place, looking patriotic, hot as FUCK, and very heroic all at the same time. He looks like Prince Charming, it Prince Charming did CrossFit and defended ladies’ honor in his free time. He has this baby blue crushed velvet suit (tailored just the tiniest bit tight- the designers knew EXACTLY what they were doing) that in itself is pretty bold (it doesn’t have a cape or exposed biceps, but the bar is otherwise pretty low considering what most men wear to the met) but the whole thing is completed with little Swarovski crystal stars speckled all over it in homage to his suit )
or how about a designer au where Steve is a big time designer who practically revolutionized the business years ago okay (and he’s known for his incomprehensible youthful glow- seriously he’s like 50 something and still looks like he’s in his 20’s- and also known for his extremely private life) but his word is gospel in the designer community except lately he’s been getting really political and when met season comes around he makes the controversial choice of asking tony stark to wear his designs. While most designers are picking models and celebrities and influencers, Steve’s first choice is the controversial and newly outed iron man. He was famous before all the iron man stuff went down for being a shifty, genius weapons dealer with a penchant for ladies (and men), but his fame has skyrocketed after he saved the world a couple times. But with superheroing fame came a lot of naysayers, calling him a terrorist, a capitalist violence apologist so his reputation is kinda like a bomb at the moment everybody’s keeping their distance. Except for Steve Rogers apparently, who reaches out to him and asks Tony if he’ll allow him the honor of dressing him for upcoming met gala. And Tony’s always loved putting on a good show so he figures why not and does it and he looks great and he’s the talk of everything bc he’s so controversial (Tony absolutely eats it up) but there’s an important point where a member of the press interviews Steve and he asks him why he chose Tony when it was such a controversial choice and Steve gets patriotic as hell and defends the fuck out of Tony and later Tony’s like (“hey, thanks”) and Steve’s like (“anytime”) and then after that THEYRE friends and go on coffee dates and Steve stands by Tony while half the country makes his life hell
Bruce Wayne gets invited to the met gala every year and this year he wants to bring his boyfriend and Clark’s like idk that’s really public what if somebody notices I’m Superman but Bruce guilts him into it and he’s like look this is my life if nobody’s noticed by now you’ll be fine I promise and so billionaire Bruce Wayne brings some journalist nobody from metropolis as his date to the met and everybody is like ???? Who the heck is HE and when somebody from the press asks how they met Bruce says something “like he swept me off my feet” and Clark blushes bc they met when he was Superman and he was flying and saved Bruce or some stupid shit and everybody spots that blush and is like oh sweet country boy I love you and now the world is in love with Clark Kent but somehow still nobody manages to draw the connection between Clark Kent and Superman it’s ridiculous
alternatively, superman is invited to the met gala and while he thinks it’s a horrific idea Bruce is like “oh! I go every year! We can go together! make some trouble, eh?” And then they go and everybody is like why the FUCK are Bruce Wayne and Superman dating how the hell did that happen and the LOOKS OH MY GOD Clark would wear some super gaudy rendition of his Superman outfit he would go all out (because he’s not a fucking coward) and Bruce would be wearing Versace or something amazing and it’d be a simple black suit but with some wicked accents of some sort (maybe a cape??)
#catch me repeatedly calling out the cowards who wear basic suits THERES A THEME FOR A REASON YOU FOOLS FOLLOW IT#I miss the met gala :((((#superbat#stevetony#avengers#Tony stark#Steve rogers#bruce wayne#superman#clark kent#batman#this really got out of hand I'm sorry there are so many words here I hope it doesn't hurt anybody's eyes#remember the other day when I said I have a 63k doc full of prompts??? this is how it happens.#(also peep my designer au obsession)#((I've written at least four full length designer au fics and I have ideas for them I can't explain it))
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finding out peter is spiderman
read part one here
a/n: omg guys. i got so much feedback from you all on part one so i decided to make a part 2. and yeahh i really hope you guys enjoy. if you do lmk and i’ll do a part 3 (:
(i also apologize if the read more doesnt work )))): )
warnings: fluff, a smidge on angst
pt 2. peter parker x stark!reader
• figuring out he was spiderman
• alright you’re a stark
• but no one knows that
• but you’re really intuitive
• so there were little things you started to notice
• after uncle ben died there was some weird shit (if you want a part ab comforting peter ab uncle ben lemme know. he deserves his own part)
• like how he stopped wearing his adorable glasses
•and i guess started almost bulking up????
• he got WAY taller
• and usually you’re used to seeing him shirtless but this one time you walked in on him
• holy mother of god
• IT WAS LIKE HE GREW ABS OVER NIGHT
• BECAUSE FRESHMAN PETE DID NOT HAVE A 6 PACK
• freshman peter also got winded walking up the stairs
• AND NOW HE’S RUNNING LAPS IN GYM LIKE ITS NOTHING ??
• must be nice
• but then things got more sus
• all of a sudden he was skipping class more
• leaving early
• cancelling study sessions and skipping movie nights with ned
• and you and ned were clueless
• you and ned started hanging out more
• MR. LEEDS IS HILARIOUS LEMME TELL YOU
• he was like this little ball of happiness
• you found out his real name is Edward
• HOW CUTE
• and WOW HIS MOM BEING FILIPINA MEANT THAT YOU WERE BEING FED ALL THE TIME OH MY GOD
• ngl pete got a bit jealous
• one night,,, when pete cancelled YET AGAIN
• ned asked you, “hey y/n?”
• “hm”
• “why don’t we ever hang out at your place”
• “i told you ned, my family is just a lot yanno. plus your family and may are really cool”
• “okay but how come you don’t have any social media under your name?”
• “wdym?”
• “like you go by ‘y/n Smith’ but everything that pops up on the internet isn’t YOU”
• “pfff i told you,,, i dont believe in that stuff”
• “y/n, you know you can tell me anything”
• you wanted to be honest. this was one of your best friends. and you’ve been lying to them about your family for over a year now
• “ned i just. it’s complicated”
• “like peter’s family?”
• “nonono, i’m lucky to have both of my parents- well i have a step mom. my real mom wanted nothing to do with me. so she left me on the steps of my dads house. never came back”
• “oh shit bro, i’m sorry”
• “nah don’t worry. my dad is really cool and my step mom... she’s awesome.”
• “what’re their names”
• NATASHA WAS GONNA KILL YOU IF SHE COULD SEE HOW BAD YOU WERE STRUGGLING
• “well- uh- my step moms name is,,, um. well her real name is Virginia”
• THE WORLD KNEW PEPPER AS PEPPER NOT VIRGINIA
• “and my- my dads name is ehm... st, steve???”
• natasha was gonna have your ass
• “y/n,,,”
• “yeah”
• “you’re a horrible liar”
• “PFFF WHAAAT? NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT”
• “dude you left your spiderman fan tumblr open on my laptop that one night,,, and i MAY have done some snooping”
• okay you mightve had a slight obsession with the webslinger. HE WAS COOL. and what better way to keep track of him without alerting your family,,, good ol tumblr
• oh god ned, HOW MUCH SNOOPING”
• “enough to know that you have a weird obsession with that spider guy and that your last name isnt smith”
• so you told him the truth. you were a stark
• and well,,, he reacted with
• “okay cmon,,, don’t lie”
• so you showed him your late night dance parties with Nat when she was feeling goofy
• and your random snaps of steve when he was trying to figure out how to work technology
• videos of you reacting to vines with bucky
(if yall wanna see domestic life with the avengers just lmk)
• which usually results with THE WINTER SOLDIER ALMOST PEEING HIS PANTS. and trying to reenact it with sam or the other avengers
• “heyheyehy y/n guess what?”
• “what bucky?” *is in the middle of doing hw*
• “FRESHOVACADO” *bolts out of the room before you throw something at him*
• only the two of you getting vine and meme references
• (meaning getting in trouble during meetings bc you’ll make eye contact and start laughing)
• OH HIS FAVORITE IS THE “country boiiii, i love you,,, 😛”
• anywaayyy
• ned was SHOOK
• “nowayohmygodyoureanavenger”
• “no ned,,, only when they need me to be”
• *led to him asking 100000 questions*
• “does Mr. America smell like old man”
• “what language does Ms. Widow think in”
• “how many shirts does Mr. Hulk own”
• “so do they wear normal clothes or are they always PREPARED”
• “does your dad have to walk a weird way when hes in his suit”
• “do they ever chafe in their suits”
• “yes ned. we’re stocked up on baby powder”
• which you didnt mind bc it felt nice telling the truth
• ned WANTED TO TELL PETER SO BAD
• “ned no, i don’t want him to think of me differently”
• he understood. but still defended peter and said that hed still treat you the same
• anyway,,, peter started showing up with bruises and stuff which had you v concerned
• “pete what’s up? you’ve been avoiding ned and i and you have skipped out on every movie night since sophomore year started”
• “t’s nothing. dont worry ab it”
• “peter cmon, it’s just me”
• you figured maybe it had to do with ben??? but you gave him his space. you just wanted to be there for him yanno. you didnt want him to shut you out
• “Y/N I SAID ITS NOTHING. FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN YOU LEAVE ME ALONE???” he snapped (and not in the good way)
• and this was on your way to class so the whole hallway heard
• ouch
• so you left him alone. probably more than he meant. but it hurt
• i mean he was your first friend here, and now he yelled at you to leave you alone
• ned felt awful at first. trying to comfort you and tell you it wasnt your fault
• but then he started acting weird. whenever you brought up peter hed be super antsy about it
• you- “i think he got into another fight or something”
• ned- “pFFT PETER? FIGHTING? no way,,, i got-i gotta go”
• so you figured that whatever peter was hiding, ned knew about,, which also hurt your feelings
• so you closed off
• and wow could the super family tell something was wrong
• wanda- “little stark, i can feel your sadness all the way to my room”
• sam/bucky/rhodes- “okay what’s the deal, we’ve played 5 rounds of fortnite and you havent once rage quit even though you’re doing terrible”
• tony- “kid, what’s wrong? everyone here can tell you’re not feeling great”
• nat- “cmon. ive given you 3 opportunities to kick my ass and you havent once complained about me going easy?”
• thor- “lady y/n what is causing you distress? not once have you smiled, i even wore my hair in pigtails,,, and that seems to always do the trick”
• and you gave the same response every time “‘m just tired” “lots of homework”
• they noticed you werent going out on weekends anymore
• so tony figured that your friend group and you were having some Stuff
• pep gave him an idea of meeting his new prodigy
• now tony knew it’d be kinda sus because peter went to midtown but he figured that if the kid kept his mask on it’d be fine
• “dad i don’t wanna see another one of your weird maid robots”
• “wha- no i want you to meet someone”
• “dad college isn’t for another 2 years. if it’s your friend from MIT-“
• then right before your eyes was the insect boy that youve been admiring through the internet
• needless to say
• your jaw dripped
• “y/n meet spiderling, spiderling meet my daughter y/n stark”
• *seconds pass*
• “i uh- oH- um- sp-spidERman, h-hi. biG fan of you- your work”
• *silence*
• you- “oH dad diD you hear th-that? moM is calling mE”
• tony- “what?? pep wouldve called on the interco-“
• spiderman- “y/n”
• you- SHOOK TO THE CORE BECAUSE YOU KNEW THAT VOICE. THAT WAS THE VOICE THAT SOUNDED LIKE HONEY BUT COULD CUT YOU DEEPER THAN ANY WEAPON IN YOUR HOUSE
• you- “p-peter???”
• tony- *shocked pikachu face* “you know each other???”
• you- “so-something like that yeah”
• peter takes off his mask
• “ohmygodpeterisspiderman”
• “ohmygodyourlastnameisntsmith”
• tony- “im gonna let you guys figure this out” *walks backward slowly*
*insert silence*
• you- “so this is what you were hiding, huh?” with a cold tone
• “IM HIDING? YOU LIED ABOUT YOUR WHOLE HOME LIFE TO NED AND I”
• *yelling at each other for another minute. even though you couldnt hear what the other is saying*
• you- *yelling loudest “I DIDNT WANT YOU TO SEE ME DIFFERENTLY OKAY”
• peter- “you really thought id do that?” (heartbreaking voice)
• you- “i- once i got to know you, i knew you wouldnt but i was scared. i didn’t know how to tell you. for once in my life i had found someone my age who liked ME for ME. not for my name or money or my dad. and i didn’t want to change that. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner”
• peter- “... i get what you mean. after ben died everyone gave me that look. except you and ned.”
• you- “why didn’t you tell me”
• peter- “everyone i love or ever cared about dies. my parents and then my uncle ben. so once i got my abilities i knew that the risk was even higher and i didn’t want to put you in that position. i wanted to keep you safe. but it seems like you know how to handle yourself” (referring to the fact that you grew up with THE EARTHS MIGHTIEST HEROS)
• y/n- “so how come ned found out?”
• peter *scratches back of neck* “well- he- i- May let him in my room and i happen to be crawling on the ceiling in my suit and he dropped the death star” *head hangs in shame*
• you had to giggle at that i mean CMON
• you stepped closer to him
• “pete you’re my best friend. you can tell me anything okay?”
• “no more secrets?”
• “no more secrets”
• and you both pinky promise and your thumbs “kiss” bc IF THEY ITS THE ULTIMATE UNBREAKABLE VOW DONT @ ME
• peter parker gives you the biggest hug that maKES YOUR HEART JUMP BC PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH A PERSON AS PRETTY AS HIM MAKES YOUR HEART FEEL A CERTAIN WAY
• but you wrapped your arms around his neck and enjoyed the moment
• wow he is really cozy
• * the avengers are watching from the cameras in awe*
• led to MANY questions at dinner
• and so everything went back to “normal”
• it wasn’t until you went to bed that night that you realized peter said the L word
• WHAT
• so much for no secrets
taglist: @silver-winter-wolf @emmmmszy @everythingaboutnothingsstuff @rexorangecouny @wishiwasanavenger @marjoherbo @nologinisoksothatsit @mindset-jupiter @hpnjrph @soup238
some favs/mutrals: @h-osterfield @starksparker @stuckonspidey @sunshinehollandd @keepingupwiththeparkers @hey-marlie @spyder-bites
#baby boy#loml#tom holland#peter parker#tom holland x you#tom holland x reader#tom holland one shot#tom holland headcannon#tom holland imagine#tom holland one-shot#marvel#spider man#spider-man#spiderman x you#spider man x reader#spiderman x y/n#tom holland x y/n#spiderman#spiderman x stark!reader#spiderman homecoming#spiderman headcanon#spider man headcanon#avengers#avengers headcanon#bianca writes#spiderman imagine#peter parker imagine#peter benjamin parker#peter parker headcanon#peter parker x stark!reader
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