#grandpa quotes

[theaceofarrows]

Damian: [walks into Bruce's office with his hands behind his back]

Damian: Father, I would like to congratulate you. You are now a grandfather

Bruce: [seconds away from a heart attack] W- what?

Damian: [reveals the hamster he was holding behind his back] Meet Ferdinand

Bruce: [slumps against desk] Next time... please- please lead with that... I'm begging you

-

Jason: [hiding in the vents with a camera] He actually did it, the crazy little son of a bitch

#damian wayne #bruce wayne #jason todd #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfamily #batfam #batbros #batdad #bruce is already a grandpa to all of damian's pets #damian was double dared by jason to do it so he had to #honor demanded it #can you tell these two are my favorites??

[puppetmaster13u]

Mini Prompt

9 year old Dick: What are you writing?

Alfred: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house, I am simply letting them know it's private information.

5 year old Jason: ...this just says 'fuck around and find out' in cursive

#incorrect quotes #funny quotes #batfam quotes #prompts #batfamily #batman #jason todd #dick grayson #alfred pennyworth #batman au #grandpa alfred #they're still too baby to patrol but they can hang out in the batcave with A on the comms

[barley-and-rye]

Gay is alright

#grandpa quotes

[wondersinwaynemanor]

when Lian started calling Bruce "Grandpa", his kids didn't want him to forget it.

Bruce passing by outside of Dick's room.

Dick, announces in his loudest voice: Ay, there's Bruce Wayne! The best Grandpa in town. No wait, second best, after Alfred.

Bruce gives his eldest a look.

Dick, lowers his voice: Sorry B, Alfred is the best in everything.

Bruce: Hn.

Bruce stands up from his chair at the dining area to get more tea.

Cass, smiles as she hands Bruce the teapot: Here. Don't tire yourself.

Bruce: Thank you, Sweetheart. But I can get my own tea-

Cass, signs "Grandpa" and leans down to kiss Bruce on the cheek.

Bruce, can't help but smile: Hn.

Steph, peaks through the door of Bruce's study room: Oooh, what's this I hear? Brucie Wayne, famous billionaire and playboy, is now a Grandpa? What would the ladies say? What would the male nation say now?

Bruce, pinches the bridge of his nose and focuses on the papers on the table: Hn.

Red Robin, speaks through the comms: I'll drive the Batmobile to you.

Batman: RR, I got it. Stay there-

Red Robin: Nah, I heard you complaining about your back pains the other night.

Batman: It's a regular occurance at this point of my life.

Red Robin, smirks: And we don't want it to be worse, right?

Batman sighs through the comms.

Red Robin: Exactly. ETA 10 minutes. Grandpa.

Batman, growls: Hn.

Duke: Just checking if you need anything before I head out for patrol, B.

Bruce, smiles: I appreciate it. Thank you Duke, but I'm good.

Duke: Steph and Tim said-

Bruce, narrows his eyes: What did they say to you?

Duke, grins: Nothing!

Bruce thinks Duke has left the Batcave but he suddenly shouts,

Duke: Watch your steps carefully when you come back up here, Grandpa. Maybe put more lighting in your cave.

Bruce: Hn.

Damian: How does it feel to be a Grandfather now, Father?

Bruce, smiles instantly: Really good. Lian is wonderful.

Damian, tries to hide a smile: I'm aware, Father. Does this mean Richard gets to be Batman again?

Bruce: What makes you say that?

Damian: Cus I don't you working too hard like Grandfather. That was unhealthy.

Bruce: I'm perfectly healthy, Damian. No need to worry-

Damian, turns off the batcomputer: I insist, Father. We shall put you to bed now.

Bruce: Isn't that my job?

Damian: I don't want to hear another word.

Bruce: Hn.

During breakfast

Jason, turns to face Bruce: Lian has been asking when she can visit her Grandpa.

Steph, howls: Brucie Wayne, the famous Grandpa of all time.

Tim, snickers: Batman, the greatest detective? More like the greatest Grandpa.

Duke, raises his glass of water: Hear, hear.

Cass, giggles as she covers her mouth.

Dick, laughs : Children, not in front of our food, please. Learn how to respect your elders.

Damian: Eat some more, Father.

Jason, laughs: They still at it, huh?

Bruce, sighs and covers his face behind the newspaper as his kids continue to tease him.

#bruce wayne is a grandpa now #and his kids never let him forget it #bless lian she's the cutest #dc quotes #batfamily incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #dc incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #batfamily #batdad #batkids #jaydad should be a tag idk #jayroy #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #cassandra cain #duke thomas #stephanie brown #lian harper mention #dc #batfam headcanons

[tiktaalic]

wait. sorr.y. i think its just setting in now. 3 years late.r . that bobby you're a better man than your daddy ever was. singer. said your mom and dad are down the road with a smile on his face

#roll the head full of ghosts grandpa in heaven quote #etxt #spnwatch

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Grandpa: I’m back from my game of Russian roulette!

Jade: did you win, grandpa?

Grandpa: You really don’t know what Russian roulette is.

#submission #Source: not actually Rugrats it was a joke caption #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #grandpa harley #jake harley #jade harley #mod terezi #IT WASN'T FROM RUGRATS??? #MY LIFE IS A LIE??? #A FABRICATION???

[criminalmindsfanantic]

Rossi: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple...

Penelope: I really care about your feelings!

Luke: I really care about YOUR feelings!

Rossi, turning his head: ...and then there's the uh, disaster couple...

JJ: YOU NEED TO SPEND MORE TIME AT HOME NOT AT THE GODDAMN HOSPITAL!

Emily: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED PUTTING YOURSELF IN HARMS WAY EVERY TWO SECONDS!

#chaoticbau #criminal minds #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #jemily #cm #incorrect criminal minds #incorrect cm #incorrect criminal minds quotes #penelope garcia #luke alvez #garvez #derek morgan #spencer reid #david rossi #spaghetti grandpa

[la-pheacienne]

George Martin, 2013: "In a very basic level winter is coming for all of us. I think that’s one of the things that art is concerned with: the awareness of our own mortality. “Valar morghulis” – “All men must die”. That shadow lies over our world and will until medical science gives us all immortality… but I don’t think it makes it necessarily a pessimistic world. Not any more pessimistic than the real world we live in. We’re here for a short time and we should be conscious of our own mortality, but the important thing is that love, compassion and empathy with other human beings is still possible. Laughter is still possible! Even laughter in the face of death… The struggle to make the world a better place… We have things like war, murder and rape… horrible things that still exist, but we don’t have to accept them, we can fight the good fight. The fight to eliminate those things.There is darkness in the world, but I don’t think we necessarily need to give way to despair. One of the great things that Tolkien says in Lord of The Rings is “despair is the ultimate crime”. That’s the ultimate failing of Denethor, the Steward of Gondor, that he despairs of ever being able to defeat Sauron. We should not despair. We should not go gentle into that good night".

JRR Tolkien, 1962 : "One reviewer once said, this is a jolly jolly book, all the right boys come home [...]- this isn't true of course, he can't have read the story. [...] Human stories are practically always about one thing, really, aren't they? Death. The inevitability of death. . . . . . (He quotes Simone de Beauvoir) 'There is no such thing as a natural death. Nothing that ever happens to man is natural, since his presence calls the whole world into question. All men must die, but for every man his death is an accident, and even if he knows it he would sense to it an unjustifiable violation.' Well, you may agree with the words or not, but those are the key spring of The Lord Of The Rings".

"Lotr is all rainbows and unicorns and Asoiaf is nihilistic and grimdark". Wrong, and wrong. In all its hope and radiance, lotr often gets very dark, and despite all the death and suffering, the hopeful moments in asoiaf shine bright. The meeting point of these two is this: having hope while in despair, and even better, refusing to give up because you have to go on despite not having any hope left.

#the fact that in possibly his most famous interview tolkien literally quotes 'all men must die' LIKE #GEORGE #I SEE U #you have studied the Professor really hard grandpa just speak your truth free urself! #don't get me wrong for me the Professor will always and forever take precedence there is absolutely no question about it BUT ALSO #stop pitting two bad bitches against eachother!! #i think about all of these a normal amount #and this is why i'll never lead a normal life #ridiculously long post #but i couldn't leave anything out #and i had MORE quotes that paralleled each other but there is a limit for the images #i must say i cried a little when i read them all back to back #especially the last sam quote #lotr #valyrianscrolls #tolkien #tolkien quotes #asoiaf quotes #lord of the rings #the hobbit #aspa reads tolkien #aragorn #frodo baggins #sam gamgee #bilbo baggins #brienne of tarth #jon snow #jaime lannister #bran stark #daenerys targaryen

[alfredo-zauce]

This is canon btw

#sdv #stardew #stardew valley #sdv grandpa #stardew grandpa #sdv incorrect quotes #stardew incorrect quotes

[greeneyedsigma]

Luffy, deadpan, to Kid and Law: What do Pirates pay for corn?

Kid, shrugging: No clue

Law: Why would I know that?

Luffy: A buccaneer.

Kid, mildly amused: pfft

Law: *wheeze laughing*

#one piece #sigma's one piece au #incorrect quotes #one piece au #one piece incorrect quotes #straw hat luffy #monkey d luffy #female luffy #eustass kid #trafalgar d water law #source: old man who was telling me grandpa jokes

[covesdadappreciation]

MC who practically lives in Tamarack's house:

MC: What’s for dinner I’m dying

Opa: Don’t die on the good sofa it’s vintage

MC: You’re vintage

#our life #our life now and forever #mc #our life oc #incorrect quotes #olnf #MC #Opa #Tamarack's grandpa #Tamarack Opa #Our Opa #olnf opa

[a-celestial-dream]

Welcome back to 🌈✨The Dragon Riders as quotes/conversations my friends/family and I have had✨🌈

Hiccup: hey, you remember that fishing trip I went on when I was, like, seven or something?

Stoick: yes, why?

Hiccup: was that you who took me? Or Gobber?

Stoick: it was Gobber.

Hiccup: huh. I think I replaced Gobber with you in my memories, because I don’t remember him being anywhere with me that day.

Gobber: was I that insignificant to you?

Hiccup: apparently.

#a celestial dream #tumblr #httyd #humor #hiccup how to train your dragon #how to train your dragon #incorrect httyd quotes #httyd gobber #stoick #this was an actual conversation I had with my brother and father #I remember my father taking me on the fishing trip #when it was actually my grandpa who took me #I somehow replaced an entire person with another in my own memories

[oldmanffucker]

I think that the most bald faced, closeted lie that Wilson tells it that he doesn't like opera. he names La Boheme then backtracks and goes "and I don't even like opera!!" but I don't believe that!!!!!! have you seen that man??? he loves opera!!!

and i believe the same of House!!! I even think that he would canonically, explicitly like opera. I say this bc even tho some people might argue that opera is soft (not me but some people), we know that he cultivates a very holier than thou untouchable persona in public, and i think he would use to his advantage the fact that many lay people find opera to be inaccessible and out of touch. but i also think that as a skilled musician (and composer!), House would have a huge appreciation for the technicality and beauty of opera (very much I am imagining that Loustat scene where they're at the opera and lestat is grinding his teeth at the flat tenor). plus he speaks like a million languages and would be able to appreciate the original translation of the libretto in real time. also there are soo many silly dumb overly confident men who House would love in a very dudes rock way. Wilson would like this too but as he's less of a musician and more of a pisces, i think he'd love the drama, the beauty, the humanity, and the grandiose nature of opera. and and House would love opera for different reasons but i think nonetheless they'd have a stellar time at the opera and probably also fuck nasty about it when they get home

#house would absolutely quote opera in the original lanugage at his fellows to make a point #im a classically trained musician and my parents are too and sing opera and my grandpa writes opera #so im biased by still #house #text post #house md #gregory house #james wilson #hilson

[xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx]

The Batkids all dress up as different Brandon Rogers characters for Halloween/a con.

Dick: Cathy

Jason: Grandpa

Steph: Bobby Worst

Tim: Bryce Tankthrust

Duke: Sam

Cass: Donna Phitts

Damian: Elmer

They convince Bruce and Selina to go as Lord and Lady Mingeworthy.

#batfamily #batkids #dick grasyon #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #damian wayne al ghul #damian wayne #damian al ghul #bruce wayne #brandon rogers #cathy #brcu #cathy brcu #brandon rogers cinematic universe #grandpa #grandpa brcu #bobby worst #bobby worst brcu #dcu #dc #dc headcanon #batfamily incorrect quotes #batfam #bryce tankthrust #bryce tankthrust brcu #Sam #sam brcu

[cyber-streak-2]

Ratchet, while walking off: Optimus, if anyone asks for me, I’ve gone outside to scream into the night.

#transformers incorrect quotes #source: unknown #Ratchet #Sometimes he just needs to do that #Grandpa needs to release everything #Optimus Prime #TFA #Transformers Animated #TFP #Transformers Prime #With Novafire-is-thinking

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Joey: What would I even do with a gun, anyway?

Pa: Shoot people, I presume.

Joey: You WANT me to go out and shoot people?

Pa: Well, no, of course I don’t want you to shoot people. But let’s face it, the Glock nine is neither a hunting rifle nor a Swiss army knife. It’s really only useful for three things; shooting people, shooting paper targets to prepare for shooting people, and ensuring your own safety… by threatening to shoot people.

#submission #Source: Leftover Soup #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #hiveswap #incorrect hiveswap quotes #joey claire #grandpa harley #mod terezi #he cares in his own weird bonked in the head ways #not a very good way but a way nonetheless