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#it could also save a lot of “bad match” couples years of stress over if their kids will develop
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“no one can know I can tell what people will manifest as!!” why not? ability detecting is basically torture. u could save sooo many elves so much wasted time. and just how do u think the neverseen will use this against u?? it’s literally useless to them. but it is useful to the elves. like SUPER useful. people can spend their whole lives training w their abilities before they even manifest. like omg keefe cmon
edit (I put this in a reblog but don’t feel like reexplaining it so I’m putting it here)
I get what ur saying about Keefe not wanting the council to exploit him and that having all those ppl go to him but I really think that’s the only good reason which is still a very good one bc it’s about what HE wants (but also think of terik who did it for a bit then stopped but occasionally does it for some people) tbh the only good reasons are Keefe just not wanting to and that’s fair. but honestly I’m talking about the use of the ability and how in the grand scheme and when Keefe is in a better mental place that it can be SOOOOOO useful and like when he’s past all this and is happy and healthy then I would say he should tell ppl about it even if he doesn’t open up to “readings”
with a ability training thing that was one of my main points (tho I did put it in the tags and those go away when u reblog 😒) but ability training is literally TORTURE. like they put these like 11 year old kids in burning hot rooms for hours hoping to trigger a froster… like that’s soooo unethical idk what the councils reasoning for that is. it’s literal child abuse and I’m not even kidding. its brushed off but omg wtf. and imagine going through all that only to discover you were talentless and all that was for nothing. like that would suck
and for the talentless. keefe not wanting to tell ppl they are talentless is a very valid and good reason, but aside from that I think his talent would be more helpful. bc it would give talentless ppl more time to grow up and adjust to the predugist (hate bc I can’t spell 😭) against the talentless. bc even though they would have to deal w it from birth, isn’t that better than living a normal life w friends then BAM one day ur talentless and all of ur friends stop hanging out w u. like ur WHOLE world would be flipped and it’s better to give the talentless more time to adjust to it imo.
also the schooling thing u meantioned is another reason knowing ur talentless form the start would be helpful. BECAUSE THE TALENTLESS ARE PULLED OUT IF FOXFIRE WHICH IS SOOOOO MESSED UPP. like they go to foxfire for like 3 years then the council is like “haha no ability? sucks for u lol! go off to a different school where u know no one and make different friends yk just forget ur whole life up to now haha” like WTF. (honestly the bigger problem here is how the talentless are treated but we already know that has to change so this is about how keefe can help).
also it could give “bad match” couples where one of them is talentless (like Kesler and juline) comfort to know their kid isn’t talentless. And if their kid is talentless then it saves them years from worrying over it and the suspense of it all. Also I just think knowing ur ability from childhood and being able to train for it before u even manifested would be soooo helpful
but in the end of the day yeah, keefe just not wanting to is the biggest thing. and I might be remembering incorrectly bc I haven’t read the book in forever but I remember something about keefe thinking he accidentally triggered the triplets abilities which would be more problematic but idk if I’m remembering it wrong. but I do think like years after kotlc ends (or when ever he feels ready) keefe should defo start using his ability for good. like it doesn’t have to be everybody. it can just be kids of q talentless parent(s) to help their parents out yk bc if two telepaths have a kid then it’s obvi going to be a telepath u don’t need keefe to tell u that
also the main point of the pre-editted post was about how he doesn’t want the NEVERSEEN to know bc he thinks they might be able to use it against his friends. like how. literally how? what use is it going to do them.
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suffarustuffaru · 5 months
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why the emilia camp thinks otto is their most threatening member 👍
i see some people being confused on why the emilia camp collectively seems to agree that otto is the biggest threat there for some reason and like. yeah. i get it.
but let me explain real quick why i think it makes sense for the emilia camp to think that :O !!
otto though is disarming because. well okay look at him he doesnt look threatening at all. he has the looks and personality of a wet cat. hes whiny. hes cringe fail. he gets stressed out with paperwork. he looks like you could just smack him around like a bug. he HAS been smacked around like a bug. but that makes him unpredictable because apart from roswaal, he is the Most Amoral one there. you can expect roswaal to be trying some shit, but youd never know when to expect otto is planning something. his moral compass is just “does this benefit me or my loved ones in some way? if not, then its gonna be gone 🥺”.
sure, he does nice things sometimes out of the goodness of his heart. he genuinely means well a lot of the time.
but also then you read the shit hes thinking in his internal dialogue and its like.
“should i go save some girl i dont even know from bandits??? hmm lemme think for a couple minutes. im the only one that can help rn… some guy claiming to be her dad is begging me to help his daughter, but also hes kind of annoying… but i dont even live in this city so why should i help… or Care. actually. but i feel kinda bad about this girl… but also this is gonna put me and my profits in danger… but if i reject helping then im forever gonna be known as the guy who abandoned them and then i wont be able to make any sales in this city anymore :<<<< ……anyway im gonna help them then lol im so smart.” and then he gets captured by the exact same bandits anyway so hes like “well okay now me and this girl might be sold into slavery so i might as well save both of us or ill feel bad ☝️☝️”
(yes. yes this is genuinely ottos thought process if you read through the Otto's Bittersweet Peddling Log side story.)
except all the back and forth Calculation he does in his head Stays In His Head and doesnt match up with his outward appearance most of the time. which means that sometimes his words dont match up with his actions. “dont be surprised if i leave at the first sign of danger,” he says, right after risking his life and writing a suicide note over a dude hes known for like four days. “ahah thanks for giving me a vacation to see my family…” he says, damn well knowing he cant go back home yet otherwise he’ll get sniped by assassins. “im gonna give you some of my own money bounty money to help you BUT BUT BUT DONT THINK THAT IM NICE OR ANYTHING I NEED MOST OF THE MONEY FOR REPAIRS OK YOU CAN ONLY HAVE A BIT :<<<“
this also means that whenever otto says or does something Particularly Questionable, all his friends are still kinda blindsided by it because otherwise otto seems Mostly Fine in comparison to whatever the hell everyone else has going on. hes just a wet pathetic cat of a guy ahah. theres nothing more going on with h—
“if everyone in vollachia dies but rem and natsuki-san live, then we’ve won. if everyone in vollachia lives but rem and natsuki-san die, then we’ve lost.”
um otto can you repeat that. what the fuck did you just say.
otto looks Mostly Normal, Just Stressed Out or Somewhat Chilling the vast majority of the time, and then he whacks you over the head with a steel chair. like can you imagine being garfiel and learning that this pathetic rag of a man is actually pretty brave when it counts. youre like “oh cool lol we kinda beat each others asses and i was Annoyed but now that thats all over i got some newfound respect for you!!” and then you read through his diary and hes got a suicide note in there, which is like. okay fine whatever hes kind of a clown just like my New Captain lol but hes dedicated to his friends, ill give him that. and then a year later you find your now brother figure (whos also lowkey highkey an alcoholic) with a broken hand after punching a wall because he couldnt do his Lets Abandon 50 Million People Plan and youre just sitting there going
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and okay dont get me wrong—subaru is Batshit Crazy. in Multiple Incomprehensible Ways. if the emilia camp (or Anyone. At All.) knew about all the shit hes done and been through with rbd, subaru would INSTANTLY be skyrocketing up the Most Threatening People list. but at the same time subarus less threatening than otto in the sense that subarus Always going to want to do good. hes Always going to want to save everyone. hes Extremely forgiving, on top of that. he goes along picking up friends everywhere he goes in his own Incomprehensible Unhinged Way and hes fond of All of them.
otto? yeah his opinion of you could shift on a dime and you could end up in his personal shit list unless youre one of the *checks list* *clears throat* maybe like ten people he cares about. and even if youre on the I Care About You! :) list, he could still get pissed enough at you to, i dont know, punch a wall over you? and spiral into obsession? and even if hes not upset at you hes still gonna mansplain manipulate malewife his way to his goals <33
and yeah of course subaru is also Mansplain Manipulate and Gaslight Gatekeep but at least he has way more good intentions AND his attitude about it is gonna be like "sorry :<<< i just gotta do this for your sake :<<<<<< :((( haha dont worry about it". subaru would never ever want to do anything big to hurt his loved ones (except for rbd). while otto doesnt even bat an eye. everyone can be manipulated if he has to. he goes down his list of Things I Need To Do and goes "yeah that had to be done. oh well. anyway i got more shit to do (like maybe kill a toddler lol)"
also lets talk about roswaal's perspective really quick. post-arc 4 hes like "well subaru-kun is always gonna want to save everyone and hes doing a pretty good job of things in general so whatever lol. i can still keep him in check by killing everyone if even one of his friends dies :)". so its like. YEAH subarus an Unhinged Wildcard. roswaal knows that. but right now subaru is more predictable and also again, roswaal knows he can keep subaru in check by making subaru have to reset if roswaal really needs to.
but otto? yeah ottos second in line for being an Unhinged Wildcard. but whats even worse is that otto is Basically Subaru but More Calculating and with a moral backbone thats Near Nonexistent. roswaal was genuinely concerned for otto in arc 8 for once and there was still Literally No Stopping Otto from being a stubborn little shit whos hell bent on all the maladjusted insane mentalities hes got floating around in his head, half of which he doesnt even say out loud, and all of which he thinks is Completely Right and that theres Nothing Wrong with what hes doing.
and also otto being underestimated and Not In The Tome was a big help as to how subaru got the win over roswaal in arc 4 👍and then otto Continues to try keeping an eye on roswaal after arc 4, to the point of getting roswaal's tome and actively trying to investigate roswaal's actions, so roswaal is Very Aware that otto is. a bit of a threat. roswaal of course is smarter and more powerful than otto though, but that still doesnt change the fact that otto is still capable of being a threat if roswaal doesnt Also kind of keep an eye on otto back. because roswaal kind of lost to otto already in arc 4!!
but okay, on top of all of this, no one knows the full extent of whats going on with otto, not even roswaal (though he has his Suspicions), and most definitely not subaru yet (whos Still a bit of an otto apologist anyway), and otto is already a bit menacing even without knowing All of that. and the rest of the emilia camp are already a bit more lenient with roswaal (as hes seemingly chilled out after arc 4 + they all need him still). that, and you can easily Expect roswaal post-arc 4 to be suspicious and Probably up to something. you wont know what it is, but you wont Exactly be surprised when it happens.
and also roswaal isnt publicly batshit crazy like otto is. otto of course isnt as Openly Weird as subaru, but otto is still Openly Unhinged and Pathetic. just look at him declaring julius and anastasia, HIS CAMP'S ALLIES, as enemies right to their faces alsdfjlsdjfl.
and with subaru, there is Zero doubt in the emilia camp's minds that subaru wants the best for them and everyone around them.
otto though? yeah he also wants whats best for the camp. he Cares about them, he really does. but hes so obviously Questionable by the time you get to arc 8 to the point where the entire rest of the camp starts eyeing him like this:
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theres also the fact that ottos dp allows him to have eyes and ears Everywhere so long as he doesnt overuse it. that paired with his Intelligence, Stubbornness, and Lack of Morals or self-awareness/sometimes guilt/regret over his actions is dangerous. theres a reason why gluttony if subaru decided to flood The Entire Surrounding Area Around Otto. the flood took away the potential army otto couldve made out of the animals and allies otto had in the city, and once you do that, whats otto going to do against someone like shaula? all of ottos power regarding his People Skills and Animal DP was stripped away.
but if that Isnt stripped away... well honestly otto can do whatever the hell he wants the moment he figures out a solid plan to try and get what he wants. his biggest ability at the core of what makes him dangerous is his ability to quite Literally be in the background. so long as hes underestimated, so long as he still has secrets, no ones gonna know the full extent of his bullshit!! you cant stop him if you dont even realize what hes going to do, and hes Good at doing that!!
and if gluttonybaru hadnt taken out otto, subaru would be skyrocketing right to the top of ottos shit list after subaru literally just killed All of ottos (and previously subarus.) loved ones. otto wouldnt stop until he figured out how to destroy subaru. its to the point where im pretty sure if otto had to choose between destroying half the world vs kill gluttonybaru once and for all, otto would certainly choose one of those options in a Heartbeat.
anyway. if youre an emilia camp member, and you see the dude whos in charge of the Vast Majority of the factions political affairs, the guy who you Know is very intelligent and competent and determined when it counts, say shit like "if everyone dies in this entire country i wouldnt even give a single flying fuck as long as our friends get back safe and sound :) it would be such a loss if the entire country lived but our friends didnt :<<<" OF COURSE I WOULD BE LIKE YEAH THAT GUY IS THE MOST DANGEROUS ONE HERE. HE HAS THE SKILLS AND THE MOTIVATION TO BACK UP THAT STATEMENT AND I WONT EVEN KNOW WHEN ITD HAPPEN. he also has the Mental Instability to back that up too, given the amount of times he spends drinking and Raging and Being Terribly Anxious over Every Little Thing.
youll be sweating buckets being wary of otto while ottos casually standing there with his wet cat looks and a knife in your back.
and otto has, for the most part, some of the most normal trauma compared to a bunch of people in this cast (not to discount ottos trauma and pain or anything but its true lajdsfls sorry otto. but also im not sorry because arc 5 was partially on you T^T). he doesnt have rbd, he doesnt have some weird family drama bullshit going on like the astreas or emilias family or the segmunts, he hasnt been erased by gluttony, etc etc. but hes still like this. if you put him in subarus position and gave him rbd, he would get even worse than he already is.
yeah so anyway thats my quick rambley psa about why i think it makes sense that the emilia camp's voted otto as the most threatening one there 👍
but the fact that we (the audience) (or at least some of us!!) keep questioning why the hell the emilia camp thinks otto is the biggest threat there is means that otto's funny silly guy image is. Kind of Working??? just a little bit.
because. granted. of course i think subaru is easily the most threatening person there with both His Flavor of Insanity and rbd. subaru is an eldritch horror in every single way. but at the same time - hes an eldritch horror who thinks friendship is the best magic of all T^TT !!! he FORGIVES PEOPLE WHO'VE KILLED AND TORTURED HIM. hes not threatening in this sense - the fact that hes kind of just way too nice in this sense!!! granted yes, he IS abusing rbd and Terrifying and Threatening in a multitude of ways, but i'd rather take my chances with mainbaru over main otto right now HAH T^TT at least subaru will apologize and start bawling his eyes out if he stabs some random innocent civilian and stranger in the gut for Some Necessary Reason!! otto would feel a bit bad and then completely Eradicate that feeling of guilt with "i had to do it. it was them or me so no regrets <3".
because otto..................... yeah otto is the Worlds Most Pathetic Yandere to his whole camp.
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ryouverua · 3 years
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Saimota is a fantastic ship that only improves with age and their respective maturity. Right from the get-go we see this in canon, too! They have a tumultuous first clash at the end of chapter 1 which is immediately turned on its head, and the subsequent growth and development of their in-game relationship really stands out that much more because of it.
This is a long one, so strap in!
Kaito realizes his mistake in his approach after punching him the night before and rectifies it immediately the next morning when he notices Shuichi hasn’t come to breakfast, rightly guessing that he’s stewing in his own grief and misery. And then, being the emotionally intelligent guy he is, he follows up that night and drags him out to exercise (which, y’know, releases endorphins and is scientifically proven to help with mood boosts and even depression) - a move which Shuichi says in chapter 5 saved his life.
A couple days pass and a body drops. Kaito supports him through the investigation knowing that Kaede had been with him last time and that there’s a danger of him relapsing. In the trial, too, Kaito makes every effort to let Shuichi know that he isn’t alone and someone does have his back if he fumbles. This is the real moment that Shuichi chooses to depend on Kaito and is rewarded for it, and while Kaito does get plenty of ego-feed out of it, he believes in Shuichi and his talent wholeheartedly (enough so that it’ll come back to bite him later). But despite it being framed as a ‘hero and sidekick’ relationship, it’s not just for Kaito’s self-worth - it’s to take some of the mental load off of Shuichi, who really, really doesn’t want the pressure of everyone’s lives solely on his shoulders, and is now dealing with the guilt of two cases where uncovering the guilty party hurt him.
(quick chapter 2 interlude! while this is where a lot of the big hero-worship begins for Shuichi and happens to be where I also did his first FTE and got to witness this:
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this is also the chapter when these moments happen, post-breakfast and post-casino scene respectively:
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and this happens in the very next FTE:
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mmm yes, the duality of man. Suffice it to say, while Shuichi has definite rose-coloured glasses on for a lot of the game, Kaito is definitely not an invincible, untouchable hero in his eyes)
Interestingly enough, despite Shuichi still very much leaning into their friendship (and vice versa), they don’t spend a lot of time together in Chapter 3 after he brings Maki out to training that first night! While Chapter 4 is their real ‘break’, Kaito spends a lot of time in his room in the second half while Shuichi gets to know Maki better. And while Maki is a much, uh, meaner investigation partner (love you girl, but that tongue is sharp), they make a great team. Shuichi also starts poking at Kaito’s reason for holing up in his room, incorrectly guess that it’s just related to the occult being brought up. Most importantly, Shuichi is able to do an investigation on his own independent of Kaito just a week after the end of Chapter 1.
Chapter 4 and its immediate aftermath in 5 is great because it showcases Kaito’s flaws and insecurity, and what conflict between the two of them look like. It’s because Kaito respects Shuichi so much that cracks in his own confidence start appearing - and while Shuichi can be obtuse and awkward at times, he shows signs of wanting to broach some more sensitive topics with Kaito; if you do FTEs with Kaito in Ch 4, he even has an inner narrative in which he notes that Kaito had said his stomach hurt before.
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He’s not so self-absorbed as to not worry about his friend (but narratively we gotta save that juicy plot point and subsequent reveal for the end of the trial) but hey, Kaito wants to chill and just shoot the shit - so why not have some downtime with his friend in the murder school. Btw, their FTE availability ends here - so if Shuichi has completed them with Kaito, he’s already had his canon-saimota thoughts at this point. While I have given Shuichi the side-eye for his ‘I can rely on Kaito for anything’ spiel, he is fully able and willing to stand up to Kaito in the Chapter 4 trial despite his canon feelings for him at that point. By the way, it’s been a week and a half since the end of Chapter 1 at this point. Shuichi and Kaito have had an arc together where they become fast friends in a pressure-cooker situation and bonding over shared grief for Kaede (even if Kaito’s is less obvious), Shuichi starts as dependent on Kaito’s emotional support but learns to stand on his own two feet, and Kaito is forced to confront his own weakness and hero persona, all while classmates are dropping (including Kaito’s own ex-hero figure, a stark reminder that ‘heroes’ do have flaws).
So the beginning of Chapter 5 is wild to me because of how it’s so often misinterpreted as Kaito immaturely giving Shuichi the silent treatment despite the entirety of the game preceding it explicitly showing that Kaito will tell you, loudly, when he’s angry at you, and that’s purely because we’re in Shuichi’s perspective and he thinks that’s what’s going on - but that’s a bit of a tangent. What I like about it is how we get to see what happens when Kaito (as sick as he is at that point) feels badly and embarrassed with someone he is close to; he withdraws as opposed to lashing out. And while Shuichi is really, really bad at reaching out too without an inciting incident (tunnel escape), he does try and broach the topic when push comes to shove. He’s not lost in hero worship, not even close - he is rightfully upset that the person he’s closest to at the school is upset while still maintaining to himself and the others that his actions were correct. He doesn’t waver on this, despite his attempt to offer an olive branch at the window of the hangar’s bathroom. He truly stands by his own choices in the last class trial and know he won't back down on that if push comes to shove, and that's important - he won't yield the point just to appease Kaito. Shuichi then manages the investigation on his own, leads the trial on his own, faces off with Maki (and who he thinks is Kokichi) on his own, because he has *reached* a point where he can be independent. And to bring it back to how we get a look at ‘saimota in conflict’, Shuichi and Kaito both make amends with each other by the end of the chapter. Even if it’s spurred by it being their final goodbye, Shuichi gets to say his piece, Kaito lays out one of his own vulnerabilities so he can make peace with Shuichi - and even if I’d love to have had them delve into all of Kaito's various issues, there is a very murderous robobear overseeing this which makes time a factor - and I firmly believe that if they had more time, they could’ve resolved even more of the issues that would come up for Saimota. The groundwork wasn’t just there; there was already half the structure in place. And that’s what makes saimota even more appealing to me, tbh. We get to see them build a relationship, run into a big issue, struggle through it and resolve it by the end of the game - and it means that there’s precedent for them to do it again as more interpersonal challenges come up! It’s a goldmine of ship exploration, and they care about each other enough to work through it.
… By the way, at this point they are 2 weeks past the end of Chapter 1.
Imagine if they had more time. Imagine if Shuichi, who is absolutely dogged in pursuing an issue once he catches wind of it (despite how he can get wrapped up in his own head), who cares a lot for other people, who doesn’t just find runaways as part of his detective talent, but follows up with them after because he cares about more than just finishing the job, had the chance to spend years with Kaito and realize he uses his hero persona to protect a much more fragile sense of self. Imagine Shuichi forming that initial friendship with Kaito without the albatross of Kaede’s death hanging around his neck; about how he’ll still look up to Kaito and his fantastic positivity, passion and excellence in his chosen field, and that would only be matched by Kaito’s own admiration of Shuichi’s skills as a detective. Imagine if Kaito, who repeatedly shows the ability to reflect and change his mind when presented with evidence against his viewpoint and was able to express his own insecurity and jealousy to Shuichi in the end, was given the breathing room and space to get more comfortable with doing so. Imagine how difficult and emotionally mature they were to navigate as well as they did in a life-or-death situation that took place over a couple of weeks tops, and how much more they could grow if given the time and space for it.
... And this was nearly going to be where I ended the post, until Ira reminded me of TDP and sent me this wonderful Saimota event (which takes place before the final graduation/training trio event):
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Oh hey, Shuichi picked up his catchphrase! It's quite cute how he's finishing Kaito's sentence here - he's spent a couple of years being friends with Kaito at this point, and has even taken up exercising on his own for stress relief. I wonder whose influence that was?
Anyway -
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Shuichi has figured out at this point that he does need to firmly extend that helping hand to Kaito rather than worry and keep it to himself. On the other side, Kaito has learned that it is okay to accept that outstretched hand, even if he doesn't need it right now - that he can admit that some day, he might. He's being blase, sure, but it is a far cry from his in-game 'I don't/won't need help'. Good for you, Kaito - you've grown a lot! And that's the most important thing their TDPs show - their capacity for growth not just as individuals, but in a relationship. Of course there will be bumps along the way - it’s very rare that any relationship won’t have them! - but they've proven that they can work these problems in the worst of circumstances. This is by far one of the strongest ships with canon foundation in the entire series, and my goodness do I still love it years later.
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thatoneitaliangirl · 3 years
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Oh my gosh could you write a childe x reader thing 🥺🥺 I wanna just have some sweet angst with a happy outcome somehow 😔
I may have gone a bit overboard- At this point, I feel I'm literally incapable of writing anything under 1,000 words. So sorry this took so long, I had to take a break from writing to work out some things with school. A bunch of nonsense and stuff lol. You didn't specify gender, so I wrote the reader as female, only cause that's what I'm used to working with. I apologize if that's not what you wanted. I can always whip up something for ya with your preferred pronouns! But I'm not sure if I'll make it this long . . . I honestly don't know how I even did this, like this is a feat I feel. Anyways, I hope Childe isn't too OOC in this. I'm not the best when it comes to writing angst, so I hope you like it! And just as a little explanation beforehand, I read up that Childe joined the Fatui when he was about 14, became a Harbinger at 18, and is considered a young adult. So in this fic, it's assumed that he and you are at least 20 years old just so the timeline adds up and stuff. Also, despite how long this is, Childe isn't in it as much as you probably wanted- I have a tendency to write more about the reader than the characters. It's something I'm trying to break, but I was just so proud of this. I hope you like it! Anyways, happy reading!!! ^^
Childe x Reader Angst
Plot- Reader and Childe have been together for years when Reader finds out that Childe killed her sister when she was young.
Word count- 8,864 (I'm so sorry)
Warnings- Mentions of death, sadness, bad writing, possible suicide at the end(But just mentioned as a fear), swearing, and cringe 'funny' moments cause why not.
The wind blows through your hair as you sit atop a ledge overlooking Liyue Harbor. Today is your younger sister's birthday, and for the past six years, it's been nothing but a reminder of your failure. You were supposed to take care of her. After your parents passed away, you were all she had left, and she, you. But you were just a kid yourself, hardly capable of raising a child.
You bite your lip and look over at all the families walking about, having fun. It brings a smile to your face knowing at least some people can be happy on this day. She wouldn't have wanted doom and gloom to be her only remembrance. The sun in the sky is warm, beaming down on your skin. You've fought many battles for the Adventurers Guild during your time living in town, and are proud to say you've survived. Even escaped a few sparring matches with Childe relatively unscathed.
You win every time, but it's no surprise given he lets you win. That's one of the many things you love about him. He tries to put you first in most situations as much as he can with his job. And it's the little things like letting you win a fake fight that makes you feel like you're floating.
Your relationship is practically plastered on every notice board in town with how affectionate you are to each other. Not a soul in Liyue can look at you and not know you are the Harbinger's lover. But you're okay with that.
Taking in a calm breath, you hop down and glide your way to the docks below.
"Good morning, _____! Nice weather, isn't it?" You smile at the young girl as she approaches you. You've known her for a while now, and have come to consider yourself friends. She seems a bit nervous though.
"It certainly is. Are you okay, Chen?" Her smile drops and she grips onto her arms.
"Can I ask a favor of you? It's rude of me, but I'm desperate!"
"It's fine, what's the matter?" The young girl sighs.
"My brother borrowed a loan from Northland Bank last month and the payments were due two days ago. He told me he was going to pay it back . . . He hasn't been home since. I just thought that . . ."
"You want me to ask Tar?" Her eyes snap up to yours.
"Will you? Please? I'm just so worried about him! I told him not to take that loan, but he never listens to me." You put your hand on her shoulder to calm her down.
"It's okay. It's no problem at all! I was just headed there anyway. I'll see about your brother for you." Young Chen sighs in relief and reaches in her pocket.
"Here, I want you to take this as payment." You shake your head and push her hand away.
"No, I could never!"
"I insist! My mother gave this to me when I was a kid," She opens your hand and places a small coin in before closing your hand around it.
"She told me travelers would give these coins to people who did favors for them and that they grant wishes! Though I'm sure that's just a children's story; I was never able to get it to work." You give the coin a look, hesitant, before slipping it into your pocket.
"Alright, I'll accept. Thank you!" You wave goodbye to Chen and head towards the bank. Childe spends most of his days there, what he does, you have no idea. It's a mystery. The most you get out of him is 'business' which, yeah, obviously you do business. But it's understandable. The Fatui are a questionable lot, and not many people in Liyue trust them.
The Qixing keep a close eye on them as well, though you're sure even they hardly know what goes down under the 'bank' façade. Sometimes Childe comes home with cuts and bruises, claiming they're from training with his comrades, and while you don't buy that one bit, you play along. No need to add to his stress. If he thought you needed to know, he would tell you. No doubt about it.
Walking up the many flights of stairs, you nod to Vlad who lets you in.
Lucky for you, the first face your eyes land on is the exact one you came looking for.
"Tar!" He immediately looks over in your direction, smiles, and dismisses the Fatui agent he was talking to.
"Well, if it isn't the most beautiful woman in all Teyvat. Come to steal my heart?" He pulls you into a hug and kisses your cheek.
"No need, I already have it," You pull away, giving him a smile.
"I actually came here to see you."
"I'd hope so! Who else would you want to see?" Rolling your eyes, you grab him by his hand and lead him to his office.
"I have a favor to ask of you," The joking atmosphere surrounding you turns heavy as you hold his hands in yours.
"As you know, today is . . . Very important to me. I was wondering if you could get off early tonight? If not, it's okay though. I don't want to trouble you or anything." Childe chuckles and pats your head.
"I know what today is. I already requested an early leave this morning, but they haven't gotten back to me yet. If we're that backed up, I'm not sure I'll be able to," Your face falls a bit, but you smile. He made the effort to try and get off early without you even asking.
He places his hand onto your face and rubs his thumb over your cheek.
"But I promise to make it up to you. If I don't get back too late, we can go up to Mt. Tianheng and watch the lights at night. I know you like to do that when you're upset." The kind smile on his face is only magnified by the gentle look in his eyes. He's always been soft with you, even before you got together.
It was always an odd sight for people to see the two of you interact before you were a couple. He always regards people with the same jokester attitude, especially those he has to keep an eye on. But when he's with you, he may joke around, but is always much more concerned for your wellbeing.
"Thank you, Tar. I really appreciate it." He smirks and laughs.
"You appreciate it, huh? How much?" You roll your eyes again and give him a kiss on the lips. Childe smiles into it and tries to make it deeper, but you pull away with his lips chasing after you.
"Easy there, tiger. Save it for later, huh?"
"So, there's a later?" You lightly smack his chest and pull away from him as he laughs.
"Get back to work, Tar." You turn to leave but stop in the doorway.
"Oh, before I forget, I ran into Chen earlier," The look in Childe's eyes shifts slightly, but you barely notice.
"She mentioned that her brother stopped by here about two days ago, and was wondering if you knew where he went after? He hasn't been home since and she's very worried."
He ponders for a moment before his eyes light up in realization.
"Now that you mention it, he did say he was headed towards Lingju Pass. Don't know what for though." He shrugs.
"Okay, thank you! I'll be sure to pass it on." You exchange words of love before you leave.
After speaking with Chen, you decided to head towards the countryside. Your conversation with her went about as well as you expected. She seemed distressed and unsure of the information you gave her, but any criticisms were held as she thanked you and left. You hope that she'll be okay and that her brother comes back. Archons know, you understand what it's like to lose a sibling.
You take in a deep breath.
The air in Liyue is unlike any other. Once you leave the city and all the warm bodies, it's nothing but gentle breezes and the smell of earth. And the occasional Hilichurl, but you can easily take out a few to preserve the peace.
Walking along a random path in the sand, you reflect.
When you and your sister were young, you would often take walks like these while your parents were arguing. Despite only being a few years older than her, you actively chose to take on a more nurturing role. But after your parents died, you realized just how hard it was to provide for the two of you.
You knew how to use a bow to hunt, but not well, and even though you had your mother's catalyst, you didn't have a vision. Sometimes just showing it off and pretending you had a vision was enough to scare off petty thieves and weak Hilichurls, but it was only a matter of time before that wouldn't be enough.
Unfortunately, that time came all too soon.
The two of you had found an abandoned campsite and you decided to rest for the night. Your sister and you were headed to Mondstadt in search of a distant relative who you believed could help you. But during the night, your sister got thirsty and you were all out of water in your canteen. So you heading out to find a lake close by to fetch some, only to return to see a dark figure escaping into the night and your sister, laying in the tent, unmoving.
You were only a few hours walk to the city.
Sometimes you wonder if you had kept going that night, maybe whoever it was would have never even crossed your path. Your cries for help were heard by knights close by and they gathered your sister. Everyone in the city was welcoming and understanding, and the church gave her a wonderful service.
But nothing could mend the hole in your heart. Thankfully, the family member was able to take you in and trained you to become a knight. But that's not what you wanted. You wanted to find the person who killed your sister. And after completing your training, you left for Liyue and gained your Cryo vision along the way.
You summon your catalyst and flip through the pages. It's strange how magic works and how everything interacts with your vision. Before you, this weapon served your pyro vision-wielding mother. After you gained your vision, all the spells changed to fit the cold rather than the heat. You sigh and close the book. Sifting through it is just going to make you more sentimental. The sky above begins to turn shades of orange and pink as the sun goes down, so you decide to head home.
"I know you did something!" A loud voice yells, not too far from you.
"Chen?" You whisper to yourself and make your way around to see her at the edge of town, yelling at a Fatui agent.
"Calm down, miss Chen. We don't know what you are referring to." She balls her hands into fists, her face twisted in anger.
"You know damn well what I'm talking about! Lingju Pass? He hasn't set foot there since our father died. How dare you make up such lies!" You decide to make your way over to try and calm her down. She's obviously upset, and you know that Fatui agents aren't well versed in the ways of 'feelings.' In fact, most of the ones you've met have all been quite stoic and unconcerned.
"Are you calling the Fatui liars, miss Chen?" You stop, Childe stepping out in front of the other agent.
What is Childe doing out here?
"You Fatui lie about everything! Everyone in Liyue despises your presence here, and this just proves to me how low you people actually are. What did you do to my brother?!" She reaches up to hit Childe, and you run up to her and grab her by her arms. You know she can't hurt him, but if she tries she could get into some serious trouble.
"Chen, listen to me, you have to calm down." She looks up at you with tears streaming down her face but shakes off your grip.
"No! I refuse! He knows something about my brother, I know he does!" She looks at you with pleading eyes.
"Please, _____, tell him. Tell him to tell me where my brother is!" Chen sobs. Tears start to form in your eyes.
"Chen, I'm sorry, but Tartaglia doesn't know," You look up at Childe and are taken aback by the look in his eyes. His eyes are dead, angry, violent as he stares at Chen. He waves his hand, and two Fatui agents come from behind and drag Chen away.
"Let go of me!" She struggles as they hold her arms and pull her through the dirt path. Chen glairs at Childe, digging her feet into the ground to slow them down.
"You're a monster, Harbinger! A monster!" You continue to stare after her as she's dragged away. What just happened? You've known Chen and her brother since you moved here. What could have happened to make this poor girl act like this? You jump when Childe places his hand on your shoulder.
"I'm sorry you had to see that." He wipes the tears from your cheeks and smiles his normal, dashing smile. Nothing like the look he was giving Chen just a moment ago.
"Sometimes those awful rumors spreading about the Fatui make people act irrationally." You look him in the eyes as he holds your face. His eyes are soft and caring now, just how he always looks at you.
"Do you know what happened to her brother?" You ask softly. His eyes darken a bit, but his smile never faults.
"_____, my love, are you questioning me now too? Come on, you know none of that stuff is true, right? I work at a bank, not much else to it." He answers, his voice joking, but there's this undertone you can't quite place and have never heard before. You force a smile and hug him close.
"Your right, I'm sorry for asking. I'm just so concerned for Chen and her brother. Do you know where they're taking her?" He hugs you back, tight, and kisses your forehead.
"I think you should just leave it be for now. Go home and get some rest. I should be getting off work soon, and we can do what I promised. How's that sound?"
"Good." You lean up and give him a kiss. His voice drops low as he whispers in your ear.
"I love you, _____. Don't ever forget that."
And he leaves before you can reply. A chill goes down your spine as you watch him leave, and it's not from your vision. You've never seen Childe like that before, even when he interacts with the Traveler. It made you freeze in place, made your blood run cold, and had your heart beating faster with fear all at the same time. That was Harbinger Childe, not your Tartaglia. You rub your hands along your upper arms to calm yourself. You never want to experience that again.
Taking a deep breath, you reach into your pocket to grab your handkerchief, but pull out the coin Chen had given you instead. All it does is remind you that once again you failed to protect someone you cared about. Poor Chen is scared and afraid, and you're positive that Childe's reaction did not help her any.
But as you hold up the coin, you notice a faint glow emanating from around the outer edge which turns the intricate patterns into Liyuian Characters.
'Let the truth be revealed.'
What does this mean? You remember Chen telling you the story of the coin, but it was just that. You've never heard of any coins gifted by travelers before, and it definitely wasn't a common folk tale.
You shove it back into your pocket and rush home.
The sun is almost fully down, and the stars begin to light your way as you walk hastily down the path. Once your house is in sight, you pick up the pace and run inside.
The glow from the coin is brighter now, illuminating your darkening house. How does one even make a wish on a coin?
"I want to see the truth, but I don't know how," The glow of the coin shifts and changes colors in your hands, giving off an almost mystical wave of magic you've never felt before. Whoever made this coin had to have been powerful. You take a deep breath and look at the coin with determination.
"Show me the truth!" The glow envelopes you and when you open your eyes, you're shocked at what lays before you. The dark figure that haunts your dreams at night looms over your dead sister, red-stained blade in hand and a mask over his face.
You step closer, the classic mask of the fatui on the hooded mans' face making his eyes glow white in the darkness. His stature is much smaller than yours, and his outline seems to be that of a boy. At the time it would have been easy for you to confuse him with a man, being he would have been taller than you. But now that you're an adult, you can clearly see his youth. He smirks and laughs down at your little sister's body while whipping the knife on his sleeve.
"You should never have crossed the Fatui." Your heart drops as the young boy removes his mask revealing ocean blue eyes. The eyes of your lover that you adore on the face of the person that you've despised for years. A woman appears next to him, the same woman you've seen him speak to on many occasions but have never spoken to yourself.
"Good work, Tartaglia. You've proven yourself useful to the Tsaritsa after all. But your job here is not done," Childe looks up at the taller woman, his face determined.
"The other daughter has left to fetch water. Unfortunately, there are too many knights around on patrol to take her. Dispose of the body, and return at once." Childe bows to the woman and she smiles wickedly.
"Yes, Signora. Anything for the Tsaritsa." She leaves, and Childe begins to wrap up the young girl's body in a blanket. He stops suddenly, lifting his head up as young _____ approaches from over the hill. Childe smirks, fixing his mask and hood back on properly.
"Until next time, _____." He says and begins to run.
You gasp as the light invades your sight again and you're returned to the present. Your heart is beating a mile a minute and your breathing begins to pick up. The realization is overwhelming, and the shock is preventing you from crying.
Tartaglia was the one this whole time? It can't be, it just can't! You love him, and he loves you, he says so all the time. Has he lied to you this whole time? Has he just been keeping you close to screw with you before breaking your heart and killing you? That coin has to be lying. There's no way your Tar would ever do something like that, especially to you! He tells you everything. There are no secrets between the two of you.
Right?
The clock on the wall says that it's seven-o-clock, usually when Childe gets off of work. You don't want to be here; you can't be here. How can you face him after seeing that, even if it was a lie? You quickly run up to your shared bedroom and grab your adventuring bag, filling it with few essentials.
Where will you even go? There's nowhere in Liyue where Childe can't find you. Even across Teyvat, the Fatui have eyes and ears. You just need some time to reflect, get your barrings, and confront him. If you'll confront him. This has to be some kind of joke, or lie placed by some unknown power to question your love for him. There's no way he could have-
"What are you doing, _____?" You gasp, started by Childe suddenly behind you, blocking the exit to your room.
"Tar, you scared me!" You say shakily, holding your bag close to your chest. He smiles his usual caring smile at you, but all you can see is the smirk he held while staring down at your little sister.
"Sorry, my love. I got off of work early like I said I would. Is that why you have your bag?" His ocean blue eyes dart down to your bag and back up to you again. You subconsciously grip the bag tighter, Childe noticing.
"N-No. I accepted a commission last minute." The lie slips out like acid on your tongue.
You've never lied to him before, and it feels wrong. But you have to get out of here. Every alarm bell in your body is screaming at you to run as fast as you can away from the man you love.
His brow furrows a bit with concern and he takes a step closer to you, but you take one back.
"This isn't about what happened today, is it?" He sighs and shakes his head.
"I'm sorry if I scared you, it's just I don't like it when people falsely accuse me of things. I kinda slipped into Harbinger mode for a sec there." He laughs, again trying to come closer to you, you step back.
"Are they false though?" The question falls from your lips before you realize it, and Childe's eyes widen in surprise.
"_____, you can't be serious? You know I would never lie to you-"
"How do I know that, Childe?" You've never called him Childe, and it shows from the shock on his face when you do.
"What are you going on about? I could never-"
"Get away from me!" You yell at the Harbinger, tears finally falling from your eyes. There's no way you could be near him like this, knowing that he could have . . .
"Why? I love you, I won't hurt you." You try to steady your breathing as he slowly inches closer, treating you as of your a wild animal he wants to tame.
"You don't love me." You shake your head, gripping your backpack with white knuckles.
"What?" The question comes out as a whisper from the man's mouth in disbelief, hoping he didn't hear you properly.
"You don't love me!" You say one again, louder, confirming what he has hoped wasn't true.
"_____," Childe tries to come closer, but you shove past him and run to the front door. Before you can grab the handle, Childe grabs you by the shoulders and spins you around.
"Please, _____," His eyes are glassy with unshed tears as he gazes into your own.
"Tell me what I did to make you think this way?" You sob, hands pushing on his chest to break free but failing. You can barely breathe as the sobs rack through your body.
"You-" Trying to get the words out only makes you cry harder as the realization hits you. All the rumors are true. The Fatui are evil, conniving, and uncaring. They kill, pillage, experiment, torture, and don't care about who they have to step on to get their way. And your boyfriend, the love of your life, the man you wanted to marry and start a family of your own with, is one of them.
"You killed my little sister!" Your hands ball into fists and punch his chest as hard as you can, but in your state, you have barely any power.
"My baby sister is dead because of you! How could you?" You managed to get out through your tears, finally breaking down in the arms of the man you've despised for years.
Childe stares at you, unbelieving. He pulls you into a tight hug, crying on your shoulder, continuously apologizing. Never in your life have you seen Childe cry. Even when talking about how much he misses his family or his country, the farthest he gets is a sentimental smile and longing. Never have you thought you'd see him cry either. It's almost enough to make you forget that he's practically admitted to the murder.
He killed your only sister. How do you know he's sincere with his tears as he holds you close and begs you not to go? You've seen him lie before, never to you, but if he kept this secret for so long, what else has he been hiding? But none of that matters right now. The man you've been searching for years for, who you wanted to kill with your own bare hands, is the same person holding you so tenderly now.
How could you forget the countless nights you've woken up from nightmares of that boy coming to kill you and finish what he stared, only for Tartaglia to wake you up and hold you close, promising that he'd protect you? Every year when you mourn your sister and confide in him about how you were going to find that monster no matter what it took, did he fear you'd ever find out and kill him?
Is that why he kept you close for so long, to make sure you'd be too weak for him with love to ever even try? How can you love someone who killed your sister? It's easy to just assume you'd hate him, but for some odd reason, a little voice in the back of your mind is telling you to trust him and love him like you always had.
Another voice is telling you to end his life with no mercy and finally bring your sister to the peace she deserves.
Gathering up your strength, you manage to push him off of you.
"_____, no," He's in a state you've never seen before, face wet with tears, nose running, eyes puffy. But, he doesn't try to pull you back in.
You swiftly grab your bag and leave the house and Childe behind.
-------------
"_____," Your cousin John calls your name, pinching the bridge of his nose. He watches as you continuously use your vision to destroy training dummies.
"You continue this and the knights aren't going to have anything left to train with." You stop temporarily to glare at him.
"I'm training."
"So it seems." He watches as you continue your 'training.'
"You know, this doesn't seem healthy. I'm no doctor or anything, but, maybe you should, like, not?" You sigh irritated and cross your arms.
"Not what, John?" He gestures to the broken wood pieces scattered around the courtyard. You roll your eyes.
"I'm doing no worse than the average rookie knight!" John nods, leaning up against the wall.
"Yeah, yeah, except no. Why? Thank you for asking, cause your not a rookie and you're upset, at what? I don't know because you refuse to tell me. All I know is that my cousin is back after being gone for three years and the-," John looks around before stepping closer and lowering his voice.
"The Fatui in town have been eying us up everywhere we go. What the hell happened while you were in Liyue?" You bite your lip and message your wrists. The tips of your fingers have begun to turn purple from the cold, but you hardly seem affected. John pats you on the back and leads you inside the knight's headquarters.
"Look, I know we were never very close, and when you lived with us, we barely spoke, but I'm here now. We're not kids anymore, _____." The two of you sit down in the library. The three years you lived with your uncle and cousin were your worst. They treated you nice, but you were grieving and took it out on them and many training dummies. It seems you've done the same again.
"I'm sorry, it's just . . ." What happened with Childe months ago is still fresh on your mind. You haven't seen him since you left that night, and you aren't sure if you want to. You're conflicted. You thought coming back to Mondstadt would help you clear your mind and help you decide what to do, but you can't, and it's frustrating.
Despite how hard you've tried . . . You still love Tartaglia with all of your heart. But you can't forget what he did. You could never forgive him either. You've held hatred for this man for six years now, and every waking moment has been used to devise a plan to find him and kill him. But you can't kill him; not when you still hold these feelings.
If this was his goal, then he succeeded. You know he knows you're in Mondstadt. As John said, the Fatui have had their eyes on you since you showed up. You wouldn't be surprised if they all have you listed as a threat. After all, being one of their high-ranking officer's vengeful lover with intent and reason to kill would put anyone on a list.
But, with that said, he hasn't tried to contact you. No letters, no passing of words, hell, no carrier pigeons. He's extra enough to do that. And this has caused you to feel even more upset. Cause you still love the man, and there's some hope still there that he meant what he said and he does love you and the fact he hasn't done anything is killing you.
"_____, you good?" You snap out of your daze and nod.
"Yeah, I was just thinking."
"You seem to be doing a lot of that lately. Please, what's going on with you?" You decide it's best to tell your cousin the truth.
You explain to him the situation. How you fell in love, what life was like for you the three years you were gone, the coin, and finding out the killer's identity. John looks at you in shock.
"Wow, that's a lot. And this is why you came back?"
"Yeah, I know. I should have come back sooner to at least visit, but," John cuts you off and waves his hands.
"No, you're fine. I mean, it would have been nice to see you, but that's irrelevant right now. You found out your boyfriend, a Fatui Harbinger, was the one that killed your sister, and you're here? Doing what? Destroying Favonius property?" You agree hesitantly.
"I mean, when you put it like that, it sounds odd."
"No, _____, odd is an understatement. Why are you here? You should be getting answers, slapping people, storming Snezhnaya! Actually, don't do that last one, that could get us in a lot of trouble."
"True," You agree.
"Honestly, I don't know what to do. Do I confront him? I mean, if he did kill her, which I'm about 90% sure at this point that he did, do I get revenge? I've wanted to for years, but I know that I could never kill him." John takes your hand in his and speaks with sincerity.
"You love him, I get that, but you can't let that get in the way of things."
"No, I mean, I literally couldn't kill him. He's a beast in battle, and could probably end me without even blinking. I've seen him take on multiple ruin guards in seconds, like, he's on a whole nother level." You sigh and put your head in your hands.
"But even despite that, I do still love him. At this point, I feel the best thing to do is to just move on. Go my own way and let him go his."
"And what about your sister, huh? Just gonna forget about her?" You look at him questioningly.
"Look, you need to at least get closure. Obviously, he doesn't want you dead, because you would have been so by now. I can't even tell you how many times the Fatui could have nabbed you, gagged you, and sacked you since you've been back."
"Gee, thanks John, that really makes me feel better about the situation." He rolls his eyes.
"Talk to the man, _____. There will always be a home here waiting for you to come back to." Maybe your cousin is right? If Childe did want you dead, you know damn well he has the power to have made it happen. But how would you even react when you see him? The only way to find out is to get it over with.
With newfound enthusiasm, you jump up from your position and slam your hands on the table.
"Alright, I'm gonna go! I'm gonna talk with Tartaglia and I'm gonna punch him at least once!"
"That's the spirit!" A series of loud shooshes sound around the library and you slowly sit back down.
"Sorry!"
You and your cousin John devise a plan over the next few days. You're still unsure about this whole thing, but with encouragement from John, you gain the confidence you need to push through.
In the end, you decide the best thing to do is to sneak out of Mondstadt without any Fatui seeing you. It's still dangerous to speak with him, and the two of you decide the safest thing is to get him unprepared and off guard. If he's not expecting you, he has no time to plan. Not that he needs a plan to kill you, he could just do it. But still-
As the sun seeps down past the hills and flatlands of Mondstadt, John and you make your way out of headquarters and down to the main part of town.
"You know what sounds so amazing right now? A tall mug of cider from Angel's Share!" John exclaims and grabs your arm. The two of you practically run towards the tavern, gaining looks from the other citizens.
"Cool it, John," You whisper yell to him as you head inside.
"You wanna actually look suspicious?" He laughs, sitting down at a table in the back.
"Sorry if I'm not good at being convincing. Dad always said acting would be my downfall."
"When would you ever have to act to be a knight?" He shrugs his shoulders.
"Right now?" Okay, he has a point. Merely minutes after you sit down, two Fatui agents walk in after, taking a table far enough away, but close enough to keep you in their sights.
"Don't worry, _____," Your cousin says, noticing your worried expression.
We'll get you out of here."
John waves his hand and gains the attention of Master Diluc as he's walking around the tavern.
"We'd like two Valberry Whiskey's please!" Your cousin asks loudly and winks. Diluc rolls his eyes and heads towards the back of the tavern, getting the 'drinks.'
It was a miracle and a half that John was able to convince Master Diluc to help you. But John said he owed him a favor. For what, you have no idea. Not even a second later, a young bard runs over to your table and slams his hands down.
"What did you just order?"
"Uh," You look to your cousin for guidance. The drink was simply a code, not an actual order.
"Valberry Whiskey?" The young bard looks at you in amazement. He's clearly drunk, but the sheer excitement in his eyes seems to sober him up enough to eagerly rush to the bar counter.
"A new drink! And Diluc didn't tell me?!" His shouts of joy gain the attention of the entire bar.
"A new drink?!"
"One not on the menu?"
"Master Diluc!"
Your cousin and you share a look as the crowd goes wild, rushing towards the front bar and to the back looking for Diluc to inquire about this new drink. The few Fatui agents that had followed you in stand up from their seat to get a better view of you and John. John grabs your arm and pulls you into the crowd, the Fatui agents desperately searching for your whereabouts.
"This way, _____." He pulls you farther and farther away from the Fatui till you feel another hand grab you and pull you out of the back entrance to the tavern.
"Hey, watch your hands, buddy!"
"Would you rather still be in there then, _____?" You smile nervously up at Diluc, who's handing you a bag and cloak.
"Things didn't exactly go as planned, huh?" The redhead smirks and crosses his arms.
"I knew that bard would be in here tonight. Drunk off his ass, he wouldn't be able to resist the call of a new drink item." You laugh, pulling the hood over your head.
"Thank you, Diluc." He gives you a rare smile and nods. You begin to walk off but stop, looking back at the tavern owner.
"Hey Diluc, what was the favor for?" Diluc sighs and pinches between his eyes.
"I'd rather not talk about it."
__________________
The journey back to Liyue is a tiring one. It seems a lot closer than it actually is on the map, but heading to the main harbor is always a task. Thankfully, you're able to make your rations last the whole trip, and as you enter the harbor in the wee hours of the night, you smile at the familiar buildings. You may have only been gone for a few months, but this was your home for the last three years.
Your home with Tartaglia . . . You pull your hood farther down your head and try to remain in the shadows. Despite the time of night, the area is still bustling with people. Merchants making deals, ships delivering goods, the whole nine yards.
You flatten yourself against a wall as a few Fatui agents walk past. The place is absolutely crawling with Fatui, even more so than usual. Could it have something to do with you? You doubt it. Harbinger or not, Tartaglia could get in serious trouble for using Fatui resources in such a way.
You carefully slide through cracks and crevises, branches and bushes, trying to stay out of any Fatui sights. Eventually, you find yourself on the outskirts of the city, not far from your shared home. It surprisingly takes a lot from you to not run straight for it. You miss your house. You miss your bed. You miss Tartaglia.
But now is not the time to get sentimental!
You still need to confront him about what he did. And depending on his answer, one of you may not make it through the night. You keep yourself stealthy as you enter the house from the back. He's not home, which is good. But the place is in disarray. Furniture turned upside down, plates smashed against walls, everything caked in dust. It's hard to believe he's been living here if he even has been.
If that's the case, you may have to go looking for him. You look around the house at the disaster. He may have been trying to look for something; maybe a clue to what you had planned or something to use against you.
With that in mind, you run up the stairs to the master bedroom and open the closet. You fear the worst but are surprised to find your sister's belongings still in place.
Surely he would have found them in here.
The bedroom isn't as bad as the bottom floor, though still a mess. The bed is unmade, with a small pile of your clothes on your side of the bed, and his clothes on the floor. All of your things, besides the clothes, are still neatly in their places. Pictures of you and him together that were once on the walls are now on his nightstand, face up and smudged with fingerprints.
"What the hell happened here?" The sound of the front door opening startles you. Could that be Childe? There's no way he's living like this!
Footsteps move across the floor, into the kitchen, into the living room, and slowly up the stairs. Whoever it is, your about to face them.
The door opens slowly, almost torturously so. Soon, the sunken and sullen face of your lover is in your view, and even faster, your on the floor with a knife made of hydro to your throat. Your hood continues to obscure your identity as Childe pins you down.
"Bold of you to break into the home of a Fatui Harbinger! What did you expect?" With the pressure from the knife digging deeper and deeper into your skin, you freeze the hand wrapped around his holding the knife, and kick your leg out. Childe falls over, dropping his weapon which shatters on impact. Before you can get your bearings, he's lunging at you again. He grabs you from behind and holds you in a chokehold.
"Your fast, but you'll never be fast enough!" You gasp for air, holding onto his arm as it's wrapped around your neck. He's trying to kill you, you know he is. All the times you've sparred with him, you knew he was holding back, but he's definitely not this time. Even so, his hold on you is weak. Weak for him, at least.
You rear your elbow into his stomach as hard as you can knocking him back and you summon your catalyst. As he said, he's faster than you, but before he can get back, you place a wall of ice between him and yourself. It's not enough to hold him back for long, but enough to catch your breath. He laughs as he can hear you choking, attempting to regain your oxygen.
"You think this little wall will stop me?" He attacks the wall with his fist, making a section crumble. Your breathing is fast, but you can't seem to gain enough breath to speak. As he crumbles your wall piece by piece, you pull back your hood and lean on the bedroom wall behind you. Finally, he lands the finishing blow and the ice dissipates in a gust of cryo magic. The crazed look of bloodlust vanishes from his face the instant he sees you, hand on your throat, and your breath heavy.
"___-," He can hardly finish his whisper as he lets out a shaky breath. With the tense atmosphere suddenly calm, you're able to regain your breath and look up at the man. His skin a pale and his eyes are dull. He has large dark circles under his eyes and he looks a bit thinner than normal.
"_____," He manages to get out, still shocked you're actually here.
"Are you okay?" You shake your head.
"You haven't seen me in months and that's the first thing you say to me?" He rubs the back of his neck and looks down, ashamed.
"I didn't know it was you. I'm sorry if I hurt you." You can hardly believe what you're seeing. He seems broken, utterly defeated. If he hadn't fought you just now, you'd assume he'd fall over with the breeze.
Looking at him now, it's hard to believe he's the same man that killed your sister.
"We need to talk." He nods, refusing to meet your eyes.
"You need to tell me the truth, Tar," He takes in a shuddering breath at your words.
"All these years, I've been beside you. I've stood up for you, I've loved you. I told you all my darkest secrets and nightmares. Not once did I ever lie to you."
Tears come to his eyes just as they do yours. He bites his lip to prevent the tears from falling. You step closer to him, dropping your cloak, and put your hands up to his face. He flinches away from you but relaxes when your palms cup his cheeks and he finally looks you in the eyes.
"Over the past few months, I've thought long and hard about what I wanted to say to you. And no matter what scenario I came up with, I could never tell if I was doing the right thing. But, even though I carry some semblance of anger, I know that what I feel for you is real. And with that, I still hold hope that you feel the same and it wasn't all just a lie."
He grabs your hands, the tears now falling one by one down his pale cheeks.
"I swear to all the Archons that I love you! I never lied about that!" You hesitate for a moment, blinking away your own tears.
"And though I don't want to, I believe you," You rub your thumbs across his face, clearing some of the tears.
"But I need you to tell me everything." Tartaglia closes his eyes. He never dreamed in a million years he'd have to tell you this story. He'd hoped that you'd live in blissful ignorance for the rest of your life with him. But the gods had another plan for him and you, and he prays that at least one of them will let him keep you. Even if that's a selfish request.
"I joined the Fatui when I was young. I was constantly trying to prove myself to Signora and the Tsaritsa that I was willing to do anything they asked me. I still am," He looks at you with regretful and sorrowful eyes as he recalls the past.
"Your parents had fled Snezhnaya when you were born, because of a debt they racked up with the Fatui. When they were found in Fontaine, it was revealed that they were working for a group of rebels intent on infiltrating Snezhnaya. It was my job to take you and your sister to use as leverage on your parents. But, your sister fought back," You release his face and look away, finding it harder to keep eye contact with him.
"I wasn't as skilled as I am now, and I panicked. But La Signora said I did a good job. I didn't know that your parents had already been killed by the rebels, and neither did the Fatui. Not until after we had left you. At that point, there was no reason to continue after you. But you were never forgotten about. And when you came to Liyue, I was instructed to keep an eye on you," Childe lifts his arms up and places his hands on your shoulders.
"But I never expected to fall in love with you." You look into his ocean blue eyes and are overcome by the warmth they hold for you.
"The day I met you, I could feel it, and I tried so hard to forget about it, but you were just so . . . Amazing, and beautiful, and kind. I never expected that from you. You never once judged me or ridiculed me, even though you knew who I was. I thanked the Archons every day that you came into my life, and I prayed that you'd never find out what I'd done."
A sob breaks through as he wipes the tears running down his face. All the years you harbored hatred for this man, you never once thought about what he could have been going through. It's true that this doesn't excuse his actions, but to know that he truly regrets what he did brings you some kind of closure. In the end, revenge would have never made you feel better. Your sister wouldn't have wanted that.
You love Tartaglia with all your heart, and in this world, it's better to forgive than to let it eat away at you any longer.
"Tartaglia," His name comes out as a whisper with your breath, but he hears you loud and clear. The fear of rejection in his eyes tells you everything you need to know as you carefully speak to him.
"I forgive you." He cries, pulling you to his chest and you hug him back. Unfortunately for him, you weren't finished.
"But, I need some time to think about this. I love you; I never stopped loving you, and I always will," You pull back and smile at him before gently kissing his chapped lips.
"I'm going back to Mondstadt, but I'll be back. You just need to give me some time." He smiles as best he can and nods enthusiastically.
"I'd give you all the time in the world if I could." He moves to kiss you again, but you put a finger up to his lips to stop him.
"Save it for later, Tar." He laughs, looking back up at you with bright eyes.
"So, there's a later?"
(A little something extra. It doesn't quite fit to be an ending, but more like an epilogue just tying things together I guess lol.)
___________________
You sigh as you sling your bag over your shoulder. It's been a good few months back in Mondstadt after your reconciliation with Childe, and you've decided it's time to go home. You've kept in regular contact with him since you've been here, writing letters to each other like new lovers. You found the whole thing quite cute, despite the circumstances. He's been regarding you with caution, taking things one step at a time, and never pushing you past any limits you set. You're grateful for that.
"You sure you wanna go back? You can always stay a bit longer, just to give yourself a bit more time to think it over." John says, arms crossed and head down. You two have grown closer over your time spent here. It's a shame to think you were so caught up in your misery to be blind to the best friend you could have had. And it's tough to say goodbye, now that you've grown attached.
"I'm sure. You don't have to miss me too much, ya know? I'll be back to visit, and I'll write every week!" John huffs.
"You better, or I'm coming over there and kicking that Fatui's ass for keeping you away! I don't care how many ruin guards he can take on!" You laugh and pull him into a hug.
"I'm gonna miss you." He hugs you back, holding you tight.
"Yeah, I know." You roll your eyes and wave goodbye to the family you didn't realize you had.
Once back in Liyue, you get settled into your home with Childe. Thankfully, he cleaned up the mess he made while you were gone. He had said he was so distraught at the thought of you leaving him, he trashed the place in anger. Not anger from you, but anger at himself. He was afraid you'd think he was a monster, that he was heartless, and that you'd never want to see him again.
He was relieved when he heard you were in Mondstadt. There, he could keep an eye on you. One of the things he was afraid of was you doing something to yourself due to the pain of it all . . . If you did that, he wouldn't know how to cope. And when he received word that you had disappeared from Mond, well, he thought that fear had come true. But in the end, things worked out. You could never forget what he did, nor do you want to. It's something you have to live with, just like he does, and it's up to you to put it aside.
You know there are many things he's done that he's not proud of. Many things of which he promises to tell you when he's ready. And you'll be there to listen as he spills his heart out to you.
You take in a breath of air as you enter the harbor, smelling the salty water of the ocean and the wonderful herbs being brought in from traveling merchants. You'll never get over these smells.
"_____!" You look over your shoulder, surprised as Chen runs over to you. You haven't seen her since the incident outside of town.
"Chen! Are you okay?" She smiles and hugs you.
"I'm doing great! My brother and I have been selling a lot more of our goods since he's been back, and business has been booming!"
"Your brother?" You tilt your head.
"Yes!" She nods enthusiastically.
"He did go to Lingju Pass as Childe had said. It turns out, he had a buyer out there but didn't want to tell me in case the deal went south. I overreacted. . ." She puts her head down in shame.
"All the rumors about the Fatui got to my head, and I assumed the worst. But Childe went out and found my brother for me. Can you please tell him I said thank you? Also that I'm sorry. I really owe him one."
You pat her on the head, relieved.
"Of course, Chen." She reaches into her pocket and pulls something out.
"For payment-"
"No!" You shove her hand away.
"Gotta go! I'm late to see Tar!" You sprint off, leaving a confused Chen in your wake.
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beauty-and-passion · 3 years
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A (not so) brief post about my favourite Sanders Sides ships
It all started with this ask:
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I just wanted to write a short answer, I swear. Just a short answer with a tiny little explanation about why I like these ships in particular.
But then I got a bit carried away, my explanations became longer and so here I am, writing a full post.
One small clarification before starting: ships don’t have a place in my analyses. If I talk about connections between Sides, these connections are always in terms of friendships, cooperation or familial relationships. The romantic aspect is something different and I may joke about it sometimes, but it’s just a joke.
There is a time and space for romantic relationships - and it looks like that time has come. 
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Janus and Patton
I've always liked the canonical ship, in (almost) every fandom. So of course I like the canonical ship of this fandom as well :P
Jokes aside, this ship is incredibly mature, very interesting and terribly hard to talk about. The nature of these two characters, their roles and the episodes that had them involved proved how these two speak the same language, work in the same field and, ultimately, need each other.
* More similar that we think
If we look at them on a superficial level, Janus and Patton are completely opposites: one is cynical and cold, the other is a ball of sunshine. One is dark and suave, the other is goofy and bright. Janus' moral is "step on others and only care about yourself", Patton's moral is "help others because they are more important than you".
These differences became clearer over time, the more we learned about Janus and compared him with Patton. However, along these differences, some similarities started to emerge. Some qualities.
Janus and Patton want what's good for Thomas. They are humble enough to recognize their mistakes (the latest example was POF). They have a strong empathy. They’re kind. They’re mature adults (even if Patton doesn’t show it too often). And they both love and use puns.
But that’s not all. Along with these qualities, we found out that these two have similar flaws: they are both liars. They are incredibly persuasive to the point of manipulation. They have a huge influence over the mind (and the other Sides). They both deal with denial.
And this isn't just important, but it's a fundamental point for their character growth. Why? Because if they have similar flaws, if they are both liars and manipulators, then they cannot deceive each other.
And this is HUGE, especially for Patton! By his own admission, Patton lied multiple times, especially about his feelings (the Nostalgia episodes) and his thoughts (the most recent wedding/callback saga).
He always got away with it, because he was lying to other Sides and Thomas. But what would the point be, to lie to the literal embodiment of lies? Janus already knows what of his words are lies and what not, so it would be absolutely useless to do it.
Therefore, if Patton cannot lie to Janus, he cannot pretend everything is alright when it's not or hide his thoughts on a certain topic. He cannot shift the attention somewhere else or let a conversation drop. That means Patton cannot avoid confrontation about his thoughts/feelings and oh boy if he really needs to talk about them - especially with someone mature like Janus.
And yes, having someone who is able to see past your lies means being a lot vulnerable... but also a lot freerer. With Janus, Patton won’t have to pretend to be the strongest one: he can allow himself to be weak and confused, because if he doesn’t have an answer or if the weight of decisions is too much to carry, he has Janus with whom he can share it.
* A foundation of mutual respect
This point has never been fully addressed, but it was very well implied by their words/behaviours since Janus’ first appearance.
The first proof we have is CLBG: after Deceit revealed himself and disappeared, all the Sides and Thomas went through various degrees of shock, frustration and anger. Patton, on the other hand, was the only one who showed a pretty calm demeanor.
He should've been the angriest, considering that Janus took HIS place and pretended to be HIM the whole time. And yet, not only Patton didn't show any resentment, but he didn't talk bad about Janus (even if he had all the reasons to) and he even justified the other Side’s actions to Thomas:
[Patton]: Kiddo, simply put, Deceit is an inner coach that acts with the one intention of self-preservation.
Patton could’ve said anything, to make Janus appear as the worst. And his words could've had a lot of influence on Thomas, considering they were coming from his heart.
However, Patton didn't say anything too bad about Janus - not even in the following episodes.
Then we reach POF: Patton's monologue about his morals went so dramatically bad, he turned into a giant frog with abs and Janus had to sweep in to save Thomas.
In that moment, he could've said ANYTHING to make Patton appear as the worst Side ever. He had his chance on a silver plate: Patton was wrong, he had been wrong the whole time, he was literally ready to fight Thomas.
And yet, Janus took Patton's defense:
[Deceit]: He didn't mislead you on purpose, Thomas. I don't think the little guy... or... the big frog is capable of that sort of thing.
In addition to that, let’s consider Janus' whole attitude towards Patton in SvS: he basically spent an entire episode trying to make Patton understand his point.
[Deceit]: You can defend him all you like... But you can't change the facts. Is Thomas an innocent little lamb? Let's let them be the judge of that.
Why did he insist so much on this? Why not tricking Patton like he did with Roman or ignoring him like he did with Logan?
Because Janus knows how important Patton's role is and his whole behaviour shows respect towards the other Side. Unlike the others, who tend to diminish/forget Patton’s importance, Janus never did and always tried to reach him in the most honest, difficult way: through dialogue and confrontation.
And when he failed, instead of disregarding Patton’s importance, he just kept trying again, until his message finally reached the other Side.
* The perfect working partner
POF proved Patton can't bear the weight of the decision-making process all by himself. He needs another Side who can help him and Janus perfectly fills this role.
But why Janus? Why not Logan? Logan is a very mature Side, he can deal with a lot of stress, he's extremely organized and knows a lot. Surely he can help Patton with the decision-making process, right?
Not exactly. For his own admission, morals and ethics are not Logan's area of expertise (as it should be: logic can’t be influenced by what’s considered “good” or “bad”: logic is neutral). Secondly, Logic isn't an emotional-driven Side: logic is way less affected by emotions than other Sides - especially compared to Patton, who is the embodiment of emotions.
What Patton needs is a mature Side with a grey mentality, humble enough to respect him/not diminish his role, from his same area of expertise and enough emotional-driven to connect with him on an emotional/empathetic level.
And Janus is the only one who fills all those points. Even the latter, as we saw in the last part of POF:
[Patton]: Janus... Do you think there's a limit... on how many times someone can say sorry... before you have to admit... that they're just bad for you? [Janus]: Oh, definitely not. I'd love for someone to ruin Thomas' entire life one apology at a time. [Patton]: Okay. [Janus]: (After seeing Patton's reaction)The reality is that... it depends.
Janus' answer changed, the moment he realized Patton didn't get his sarcasm, by switching from ironic to honest. This is the kind of emotional connection Patton needs, something that doesn’t require words, but a small gesture that says more than a thousand words (yes, I’m also talking about that gaze and the small nod in the end card).
If we add to all of that the detail that Janus can nullify Patton's excuses and see past his lies, we have the perfect partner to help him grow up.
But this cooperation isn’t just one-sided: Janus needs Patton just as much as Patton needs him.
Why? First of all, to have a seat at the table. After years hiding, Janus can finally talk to Thomas, introduce his cynical mentality, make Thomas a little more selfish and help him grow up.
Secondly, by cooperating with Patton, Janus will become a better Side: he will learn to compromise, to work together and, most importantly, to trust Patton. And this is a particularly important point because, as I said in my analysis of POF, Janus isn’t used to trust others and he doesn’t want them to see past his barriers. Working with Patton might be exactly what he needs to trust the other Sides and lower these barriers, even a tiny bit.
* The romantic possibility
Considering all of the above points, the idea that their cooperation could evolve into something romantic-driven isn't so strange. The elements are all here, there's nothing weird to add nor need to bend canon, in order to make the ship happen. Their mutual acceptance can easily become need, learning more about each other can easily evolve into desiring each other and friendship could grow into passion.
And, of course, let's not forget marriage. These two can only end up in marriage. I mean, one is a dad, the other is a mom witch, so they are a perfect match XD
My point is: this ship isn't just a “cute couple being cute”. It's about dialogues. Conversations about themselves, their different points of view, their morals, their cooperation, how to help Thomas and the other Sides. It's based on listening to each other, on knowing each other a little more every day. On being silly together, working and failing together, going down and getting up, because there is someone by your side to lend a helping hand.
This is what makes Janus and Patton the most realistic, mature couple. And that's probably why it's so hard to perfectly nail it.
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Logan and Remus
Here it is, the couple that blew up after one episode and was confirmed in the most recent Aside.
But seriously, these two have a huge potential - first as friends/working partners, then as romantic partners. Logan and Remus need each other and the reasons are pretty clear:
- Having an interlocutor
Remus is Unleashed Creativity, a volcano of ideas in constant need of new stimuli, no matter if they are considered good or bad. After all "good and bad are all made up nonsense", as he said.
Logan is a walking encyclopedia in search of someone who wants to listen to him. He's pure, undiluted knowledge because that's what logic should be. No morals about what's good and what's bad, no emotions, nothing but neutral knowledge.
Considering that, it’s pretty clear these two have to come into contact. But what would they gain?
Well, Remus would have the stimuli he desperately craves. And Logan?
Logan would gain an incredibly smart interlocutor. And I’m not saying it because I am biased towards Remus, but because the canonical episodes showed us how smart he is. In both DWIT and WTIT Remus proved to be a quick thinker, with a sharp intellect and an even sharper eye. He's silly and over the top, but he's not an idiot and he uses everything he has for his own creative needs, no matter how small it is.
Just imagine this cleverness applied to everything Logan might say to him. Remus wouldn’t be the only one to benefit from it, but the whole creative process and, ultimately, Thomas himself, who will have better, richer ideas.
- Gaining a place
At this moment in time (just after WTIT) Remus has not been fully accepted yet. He is tolerated and his presence is a nuisance, but he’s neither wanted, nor banished. He’s just here and he has no voice on any matter.
Also because no one wants to give him a chance to prove how useful and worthy he can be. Thomas barely tolerates him, Patton does his best to ignore him, Roman doesn’t even want to see him and Virgil would rather not have any of the Others present.
The only Core Side who accepts Remus’ presence and is willing to give him a chance is Logan. He spent the entire DWIT to explain why Remus is useful for Thomas and shouldn’t be ignored, while in WTIT, he said: "There will be a time and place for you" - thus implying that, one day, Remus will finally be able to show how worthy he can be.
This is exactly what Remus needs: a Core Side who doesn’t see him as a nuisance or a villain, but as a fundamental part of Thomas that can be helpful, in his own way. Someone willing to give him a seat at the table (at least in the future). And, most importantly, someone who is powerful enough to control him.
Remus is and will always be a force of nature. He will never rest or stop being chaotic. This is why he needs someone strong by his side, someone who can’t be overcomed by his dark thoughts and that can put him back on track if necessary. And Logan proved to be perfect for this role not once, but twice.
- Understanding on a deeper level
However this cooperation won’t be beneficial just for Remus. As I said before, Remus could be a clever interlocutor for Logan. And this cleverness isn’t just related to creativity, but also to emotional understanding.
The Core Sides have known Logan for almost thirty years and yet, they have no idea of the inner turmoil raging inside him. They keep ignoring and dismissing him, clearly thinking everything is fine.
It took Remus one single day to realize what Logan’s problem is, how deeply frustrated he is and how much he’s actually angry at Thomas. Less than 24 hours and Remus knows Logan better than his long time friends.
That’s exactly what Logan needs. Someone sharp enough to notice his behaviour, find out the root of the problem and make Logan face it, instead of dismissing it because who cares (yes, Roman, I am talking about you and your “You'll be fine, Rome didn't fall in a day.”)
- The romantic possibility
I think almost all the fandom agrees that these two would have a great sex life. After all, Remus is the embodiment of Thomas' sexual urges, so he would definitely go for a very physical relationship.
But having a good sex life implies a lot of other great things: good chemistry, no comunication issues, great stability and greater trust. And, even more important, the desire to try new things together. Logan and Remus are both very curious Sides, they both want to know new things and experience them: so their relationship would probably be based on discussing new ideas, testing them and finding out together if they are good or not.
And this doesn't apply to just the sexual aspect: even just the romantic aspect or the working aspect of their relationship could have these characteristics. Logan and Remus can motivate each other, learn from one another and find new things together. They are clever enough to stimulate each other's mind, curious enough to do stuff together to learn something new and honest enough to not withdraw their opinions on any matter.
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Roman and Virgil
I am just recently starting to warm up to this couple, so I will keep this part short.
Just as it was for the previous two couples, these two can work together because canon made them work. The first part of their whole relationship is already all canonically established: at first Roman saw Virgil as a villain, then he slowly realized he could be a friend. Now moving from friends to lovers isn’t so difficult.
^ No need to demonstrate
Roman needs someone like Virgil, because Virgil is on his same level. Sure, Virgil’s mentality is way more gray-ish, but he still has a lot to learn, just like Roman.
Having someone on his side, who is on his same level is a huge relief: with Virgil, Roman doesn't have to pretend, nor to show off, nor to be dashing and perfect all the time. He knows Virgil won't care less, so he can relax. And for someone who is used to working all the time, having a moment of quiet with someone who has zero espectations is exactly what Roman needs.
Same goes for Virgil: he knows Roman won't care if he's gloomy and dark, because Roman already saw that side of him and appreciates him anyway. So no need to pretend to be different. He can relax too. And, because of his anxious nature, relaxing is exactly what he also needs.
So if they both need to relax, that implies they also need time to do it. And without expectations, without feeling like the other “is better than me and I’m slowing him down”, they can really take all the time they need, to grow at their own pace.
^ Growing together
Virgil and Roman’s is not a one-sided relationship, in which one knows more than the other and helps the other reach his level: since they are on the same level, if one of them learns something new, then it’s a victory for them both, because the other will be motivated to do more/learn more as well.
This isn’t just something I think, but something we saw in canon. During AA-part 2, Roman clearly stated that Virgil “make us... better”, thus implying that Virgil acted as a motivator for him.
Then we had FWSA and here we saw this sentence applied the other way around: Roman was the motivator and, thanks to him, Virgil overcame his own anxiety to push Thomas towards Nico. The final result was a victory for them both: Roman got the romance he’s desperately craving, Virgil found out a new aspect of himself: his bravery.
^ The romantic possibility
These two are a walking “enemies to friends to lovers” trope, so I don’t think there’s anything else to add XD
Only that they would both be quite passionate. One is Thomas’ romantic side, the other is heavily influenced by emotions: if the good one takes Virgil, he would probably be a very passionate partner.
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Two couples I understand
Janus and Remus -> I understand the appeal of this one and it would kinda make sense, especially from Remus’ point of view. Remus has (probably) sexual fantasies about anything, so I wouldn't be too surprised if he has a whole collection of sexual fantasies about the Side who is closest to him.
But also, I see them too much like father and son/bestest friends to imagine them having a romantic relationship.
So my take is more like that: Remus has sexual fantasies about Janus, just like he has sexual fantasies about anyone. They are his way to show his affection, how much he cares about Janus and wants to protect him.
But Remus is Remus and he's prone to lose control. That's why, since he reached adolescence and started to develop the sexual aspect, Janus put clear limits that give Remus enough space to express his fantasies, but never past a certain point.
So Remus can be very touchy (because, well, he's Remus) and extremely physical in showing his affections, but never go below a certain point. He can talk in full details about all his sexual fantasies to Janus, but never try to sexually force him. He can try to seduce him or propose sexual things, but never pretend he will accept.
And so, over time, it became a sort of internal joke between them: Remus tells his fantasies at the breakfast table, while Janus rolls his eyes with a "very interesting", they have a laugh, they keep going with their day. Remus wants to cuddle, Janus will cuddle. Remus proposes sex, Janus will just laugh and give him a forehead kiss.
In other words, they are the kind of friends who you can find sprawled on a couch, one on top of the other and imagine they're a couple, while that's just how they read a book together.
Logan and Roman -> This couple isn’t bad at all and I really like the idea of these two having a sorta-romantic crush on each other. It can lead to a lot of poetic/romantic possibilities.
The only problem is: Logan is logic, therefore he would destroy all the romance with one sentence XD and the romantic, poetic scene evoked would turn into these two arguing like madmen.
So, well, maybe the hate-sex would be great, but they would definitely spend too much time arguing. Still, I am very curious about it, so I will keep searching for stuff about them.
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Text
Mother’s aren’t always the best [Corpse x reader]
Paring: Corpse husband x female!reader (platonic)
Summary: You’re the youngest in the group and recently moved out. When your mother decides to pay you a visit while you’re streaming.
Warnings: Angst, fighting, yelling. Big bro Corpse, kinda abusive mom
Words: 1.5k
A/N: My job just cut my hours in half, so yay. If anyone want to, I have a Ko-fi in my bio, if you buy a fic through there you get to skip the queue. I know it’s not a lot, but it’s only if you want to of course! <3 Also I’ve wanted to write this for quite a bit
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You have recently finally moved out from your home and is now able to stream on a schedule and far more often. While living at home your mother had been very against the mere thought of her daughter putting herself out there on the internet. Which meant you have had to tiptoe around when you wanted to stream. Only being able to do so when she left you home alone. The only good thing about having a single mom, was that she worked a lot. So that meant a lot of alone time.
You’ve never really gotten along with her. The two of you having very different views on life, she wanted you to grow up and be a pretty girl, you were supposed to study social science, and get a project of your own, and while doing so you were supposed to meet the guy you would eventually marry, and give her grandkids with.
However, that’s not really what you want to do with your life. Despite only being able to stream when you’re all alone and having to chuck your entire set up into the shirt drawer, knowing your mother wouldn’t go through your drawer as one of the only things. You had managed to build up a small following.
“Hey guys! Sorry for the delay, I wasn’t able to find my microphone.” You tell on stream, and to the group in the discord call.
“Are you settling in nicely Y/N?” Corpse asks, the two of you have been talking behind your mothers back for quite a while, he has become like the big brother you’ve never had.
“Yeah, I still have couple of boxes lying around…” You look around your small one-bedroom apartment. You only have your dining table, two chairs, and your bed set up. And your dining table have been converted into a streaming set up. So, there’s that too. You are lucky enough to have a small hallway, that leads to a bathroom at the end, and the kitchen on your right, and the bedroom/living room on the left.
“I take that you haven’t done any packing out yet.” Corpse chuckles.
“Hehe… Yeah… I haven’t gotten everything out, so I have ordered some takeout, that will sadly arrive here during steam, in about…” You look at the clock, “in about half an hour.”
“Then let’s get started!” Rae says, as the countdown starts.
You get through the first round of among us alive, and wining as crewmates, you’re about halfway through the second game of the day when your doorbells goes off in the middle of discussing.
“Sorry guys, I’ll just go grab my food.” You apologise, and gets up from your chair, leaving your microphone behind, thinking it’s muted.
You open your door, with your wallet in hand, and takes a step back when you realise who’s on the other side. It’s your mom. The one who you moved halfway across the country to get away from. The one who you didn’t give your address to.
She looks angry, and more than pissed off. You know she is going to start a screaming match right here. In the hallway of your new apartment complex, only 4 days into your lease.
“WHAT THE #@!$ IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” She starts off, a normal way to greet your daughter of course. “I GIVE YOU SHELTER AND FOOD ON THE TABLE FOR 18 YEARS AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?!”
You take another step into your apartment, knowing if it comes to it that you must push the door in her face. She will win that fight.
“HAVEN’T I BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH?! YOU UP AND LEAVE ME, ALL ALONE! YOU DON’T GO TO THE COLLEGE I CHOSE FOR YOU! YOU GO AGAINST ALL MY RULES!”  She’s screaming right at you, you can feel yourself starting to shake. “And I know your little secret, you think you could keep it from me, huh? You think I am stupid don’t you. I know you’ve been selling your self on the internet for money.” You can feel tears are starting to come, this is what she thought you were doing.
She throws down a binder of some sorts on the ground, making you jump a little. “You’re not my daughter anymore. I refuse to have someone as disgusting as you even share my last name. Here’s everything you need from me to change it.”  
You watch as she passes your delivery guy, who looks at you awkwardly with tears streaming down your cheeks and a shocked look on your face. He puts down your order, and slowly walks away again.
You get yourself together after a few minutes, enough to close the door, and pick up the binder and food. You dump the food on your table, along with the binder. You run your hands over your face, before you pick up your headset, and try to act as chipper as ever, not having noticed you never muted your mic.
“Sorry for the long break, had to fix a smaller cable issue, but I’m all good now!” You don’t look at chat, instead you focus everything you can on keeping your energy up, and not for anyone to notice you’re not doing the best.
“Y/N are you alright?” Corpse asks, extremely worried over the fact that he just heard you get disowned by your own mother.
“Yes, of course, I’m always doing good!” Your voice shoving no hints to what everyone and their own mothers head. You watch as your phone gets a call from Corpse. “I think the next game have to wait a bit longer if everyone is cool with that?”
Everyone agrees they’re cool, nobody knows what to say after hearing what just happened. You mute your microphone properly this time. Before picking up your phone.
“Hey there.”
“We just talked Corpse, get to the point, we shouldn’t let the others wait for us for too long.” You tease him.
“We all heard?”
“Heard what?”
“Y/N I’m so sorry.” You can hear his voice crack a bit, and you can feel yourself edging a breakdown.
“It’s okay, we all knew it was coming at one point or the other.” You dryly laugh, trying to get out of the topic.
“We both know she’ll be back by next week, it’s not safe there.” He worries, you can hear him already stressing at the thought.
“I can’t exactly move. I blew everything I had by getting this place.” Your voice is slowly starting to crack and you know if you keep talking. You won’t be able to get back on stream.
“Then stay at me, I have a cough. It’s not safe there. She only yelled this time. But who knows what else she might try to pull?” You listen to Corpse, and subconsciously wrap an arm around yourself, still able to feel the bruises from when she hit you, because she found a stack of cash you had been saving up for yourself to get out. You break down sobbing.
“Y/N are you still with me?”
“Y-yes.” Your voice reaches through the phones, nearly covered by sobs.
“Can you get up for me? I need you to turn off your stream, okay? You’re not going back on there for tonight.”
You shake as you push the right button abruptly stopping the stream and leaving the discord call.
“Good.” It comes from the phone. “Let’s get you to bed.” He talks you through the tasks you have to do. Helping to distract you from the bad thing. He stays on the phone worried for you all night, until you’ve tired yourself out enough to fall asleep on the call. He wishes he could help more as he hangs up the phone. Knowing he’s the last of your support system. As the call end, it leaves you alone in the world. Now mother and fatherless.
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lillian-nator · 3 years
Text
Ranch AU
Or, as we all call it, The Cowboy AU 
Essentially, this was something that I created, and it’s gonna be purely fluffy, with a small bit of angst here and there. Any of the angst will be hurt/comfort. It’s meant to make us all feel better after those fucking harsh lore streams. I started it, based off of some shit in the Dad!Schlatt AU, and after that I honestly didn’t write most of it. It had really been a project in the discord, because we were all sad and shit, so if you have some fluff to offer, please do! I am happy to make almost anything canon - and we could always use more ideas. :)
I hope you enjoy some mindless farm boi fluff!
BASIC INFO: 
It's SBI's Ranch (Phil is Dadza, Tommy, Techno, and Wilbur are his sons)
Phil, sells to the local stores, and manages the crops. He doesn't do too much labor anymore. He hired his boys for that.
Dream, SapNap, Purpled, Tubbo, Callahan, and Punz are all hired farm hands
George, Niki, Ranboo, and Fundy work at the shop where they sell their products; Niki makes all of the dairy products, Fundy and Ranboo stock, label prices, and keeps track of sales, and George works customer service with his Gogy magic.
Wilbur works with the sheep, the goats, and he trains the dogs (Collies - they herd sheep), he also works with the crops a lot
Schlatt isn't hired but he might as well be. He can be found wherever Wilbur is, and is probably drinking a beer he stole from Phil. He doesn't get paid, but he eats all of their food.
Tommy works with the cows, the pigs, the chickens, the horses (sometimes), his goose, and the dogs / cats that they own
Tubbo works with Tommy. Essentially. But he also works on the crops, and the bee farm that they have set up.
Techno works with the horses, and is currently training to be a veterinarian.
Dream works on horses with Techno - they race the horses competitively - but otherwise, is where ever he is needed (usually crops)
Purpled works with Tommy and Tubbo. He mostly works with Tubbo on crops and his bee farm.
Punz and SapNap haul things. As your resident Chads, they are in-charge of moving heavy things and doing manual labor.
Callahan is their repair man. He fixes tractors, and machines on a daily basis.
SOME HEADCANNONS: 
HENRY, a saga:
that henry has a matching bandana to the one Tommy has so that everyone knows thats henry. Tommy doesn't like it when people touch henry so henry gets a bandana - Shark -
when Phil first started raising Tommy, he would've never guessed that he would turn out the way he did.
He was loud, and brash, and hit his brothers, and made fun of the neighbor's kids,  but then Tubbo became Tommy's best friend, and then Phil introduced Tommy to the cows.
The cows are Tommy's everything.
When a Bred Heifer is due, he sits with them everyday past their due date - he sat with Betty for 5 days when she wouldn't birth a calf. He was so fucking worried.
When one of his cows are sick, he sleeps in the barn until they get better. His last days with Harvey fucked him up.
Tubbo, Tommy, Purpled, and Ranboo spend long nights at the farm, and Tommy always leans against Henry as he stares up at the stars.
Henry who his best girl (all cows are girls and Tommy doesn't give a shit about gendered names). Henry who wears a matching bandana. Henry who is fluffy, and warm, and Tommy's everything. -
Sometimes when Tommy had a bad day, whether it’s stress, or school, or just whatever, Tommy sleeps in the Henry’s stall with her. Phil has so many pictures of Tommy curled up with Henry. From when she was first born to now. - Eye
Tommy hates winter because that’s the one time of year Phil won’t let him sleep in the barn. Even with the layers and heat lamps it’s too unsafe. Tommy always gets up extra early in the winter. Both because he has to check and break ice in the water troughs but also because he misses his girl - Eye -
Henry's mother, Betty, was the first Cow Tommy had helped during birth. He sat with her for 5 days when she hadn't gone into labor past her due date. It took 9 hours for Henry to be born, and Tommy was there through the entire thing -
Well, almost the entire thing. He was at school for the first hour of labor, and was so pissed at Phil when Phil knew and didn't immediately come get Tommy from School.
It always felt like Tommy and Henry had a special bond because Tommy literally raised Henry from birth. -
They didn't think Henry was gonna make it when she was first born, but Tommy was fucking determined, and bottle fed that cow every single day and night. When she was slowly weened off milk, Tommy got unironically sad that he didn't have to bottle feed her anymore.
He still visited her every morning, and milked her mother at dawn, right after he got eggs from his hens. -
Henry waits for Tommy at the end of their long ass drive way when he gets home from school. She knows that when the bus pulls up that her boy is back and so she’s always there waiting lazily for pets and a nice walk together back to the house. Even when it’s cold and someone is waiting for the kids to get home in an ATV or something Tommy always walks back to the house with Henry - Eye
Thinking about how long these fucking country roads are. And how Tommy and Tubbo have the same bus stop even though Tubbo and Tommy's houses are a couple of miles away. Tommy has to walk a mile to get to the beginning of his driveway, and seeing his favorite girl there is like a reward at the end of a journey. Tommy probably keeps a bag of feed in his backpack, which is just a mixture of grain, hay and corn, and gives Henry a handful to thank her for waiting for him.
Clementine, The Goose: 
Tommy has a goose, and names it Clementine. 
He found her in the woods one day, when she was very young, and he decided he was going to keep Clementine. 
Clementine is only ever nice to Schlatt and Tommy. No one knows why. 
Clementine follows Tommy around. Very endearing. 
Phil doesn’t question it at this point 
NEW MILO, the sequel:
OG Milo is a kitten that Wilbur found on the side of the road, in the rain, and he took the kitten in, trying to save him. Wilbur immediately got attached.
Techno pulled an all nighter, half spent  trying to save OG Milo and the other half comforting Wilbur. "You couldn't have helped, he was too starved and out in the rain for too long." Phil adds that if Techno can't save something, it can't be saved. - Ethan
Wilbur's next cat was named New Milo in honor - Ethan
Anyway, New Milo has three kittens. Blood God, Boots (given to Fundy), and Bumbles (given to Tubbo). They're called the Bees and they were born Christmas Eve - Ethan
BLOOD GOD, the pussy:
Blood God is Techno's cat. Its just a ferall little molly that loves techno too much. - M -
After Techno helped New Milo have her litter, he wasn't originally gonna keep any of the kittens, but he saw this tiny thing with the orange muzzle and just: stole her.
He is also nicknamed Blood God, for both his skill in hunting and healing
He originally named her Piglet because the orange spot looked like a pig snout [the main reason he chose her and not her stronger littermates] but called her Blood God teasingly when he first adopted her
Wilbur didn't realize he meant it as a nickname and told everyone her name was Blood God
Techno still calls her Piglet, but everyone else calls her Blood God because that's the name on her collar.
Most of their cats aren't collared, but Phil made her a custom collar because he was worried she'd get lost hunting with Techno and Dream - Ethan -
Blood God is such a batshit cat. She's a runt, really, oddly small compared to her siblings, and she's their best mouser
She's the cat that everyone leaves scraps for, but never tries to pet out of fear
Often she'll climb up people's legs and sit on their shoulders, and it's the only time you can pet her.
She is very, very affectionate with Techno and he loves her very much. He has her very well trained, and she comes with him and Dream when they go hunting sometimes alongside a terrier.
She's a little itty bitty calico molly and she has an orange patch right over her muzzle - Ethan
TOMMY'S HENS, the chicks:
He gets real defensive of his hens. They lay eggs for him. They deserve to be treated well. -
Tommy does in fact have an egg incubator; Sometimes it's just better. Tommy prefers letting his hens care for their own eggs, but he does still use the incubator - Ethan -
Some chickens enjoy being thrown so they can flap and shit. A few days after passing ownership of the hens to Tommy, Phil is going down to the crops and just sees Tommy chucking his hens and watching them rush back to be thrown again
he feels a hint of "what the hell" but he notes the gentleness tommy does it with and how the chickens seem to be enjoying it and he shrugs and keeps walking - Ethan -
Once Wilbur was helping Tommy with the chickens and he dropped an egg
Unfertilized, of course, but Tommy looked like you'd just punted a toddler
Three years later, Wilbur isn't allowed to touch the eggs anymore
Tommy's paranoid he'll hurt a live one
"Get out." "What - Tommy it was an accident, it was just one egg." "If you aren't gonna treat Phoebe's eggs with care; You can get the fuck out." "Tommy -" "Out." -
the quality chicken eggs depends usually on how the chicken feels. While under his care, the eggs the chickens produced were really good.
Under Tommy's care? Phil's eggs tasted like horseshit in comparison - Ethan -
They have their like, main barn and to the side of it is a little pond. The chicken coops are a little beside it, with the singular duck coop (he only has four ducks) closest. He calls the area the Business Bay
AGES: 
Tommy - 16 Tubbo - 16 Purpled - 17 Ranboo - 17
Techno - 19 Wilbur - 21 Schlatt - 19 Phil - idk like 45 or some dad shit
Fundy - 18 Niki - 19
SapNap - 18 Dream - 19 George - 20 Punz - 19 Callahan - 20
RANDOM HC’S: 
Tubbo, Niki, Ranboo, and Fundy are siblings. -
Whenever they eat meat they talk about who they're eating. 
They tell stories about their day and such but they always start dinner, when its meat, saying "rip lmao" and telling stories about them
...they don’t do it when they eat beef
Everyone sitting down with their plates of ham Wilbur: so who was it? Phil: Fern Tommy, already eating: rest in peace fern Techno: he shat on my boots once -
Each of the boys get a few animals that aren't allowed to be butchered.
Wilbur has Friend, Enemy, and Skit the Bull. (Wilbur wanted to name a Bull "Shit", but Phil said no because Tommy was 11 and already swearing too much for his liking)
Techno has none of the livestock. He only cares about Blood God, and his horses.
Tommy has a pig [currently unnamed], his Hens (6 or 7 of them, that lay eggs), and his dairy cows -
Phil is ALWAYS chewing on straw. -
Tommy, Techno, and Wilbur all call Phil "Pops" or "Pop". They all used to call him "Papa" though. It's like a coming of age thing for the three of them, when they stop calling him "Papa" and start calling him "Pop".
Phil may or may not have cried when Tommy started calling him "Pop" at the age of 12.
ALTHOUGH, all 3 boys know that if you want anything, you call Phil "Papa". Phil can't resist it. -
Techno and Tommy with starry eyes: pops Phil: no Wilbur: Papa Phil, with slightly less confidence: n-no   - Ethan -
Tommy holding a baby calf in his hands that he walls to bring inside for the night because hes in love with her: papa please!! Phil, practically in tears: fine.   - M
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bts-hyperfixation · 3 years
Text
Soulmates
JJK X Reader soulmate AU
Warnings: Minor character death(car crash, only mentioned nothing graphic), Drinking
I don’t know if this is what you (the requester) were going for? this is somehow where I ended up
Everyone in this world has a soulmate. Someone that is meant to complete them and make them feel whole.
Your other half can be identified by the matching birthmark hidden somewhere on their body. There are also a lot of people whose marks are so close to matching that it almost feels like the real thing… almost. Sadly, many don’t ever get to experience the love of their true soulmate, so they settle for the closest they can get.
Jungkook was convinced he was one of the lucky few. Looking at her made his heart feel like it was going to burst. Every time he saw her the world got brighter, the birds started singing a little louder, and his stress nearly melted away entirely … nearly. But at 17 no one is going to pay attention to nearly.
Their birthmark’s matched so closely, each sporting a small puzzle piece on opposite wrists. You wouldn’t even bat an eyelid at the loved-up pair as they walked together hand in hand. And he loved her so completely, and her him, that they never thought to question it. Madly in love until the day she died.
Jungkook spent weeks almost comatose when the news of her car crash reached him. Couldn’t move, eat, sleep. To lose your soulmate so young was said to be a fate worse than never finding them at all. Even after coming through the other side people could tell he wasn’t the same carefree young boy he had been, most likely never would be again. His eyes’ looked far older than his years now, his soft features much more angular.
Three months after her death he resolve to never fall in love again, happy in the knowledge that he got to know her even for such a short amount of time.
….
You met Jungkook at a party. Someone from Uni decided that 24 was the right age for a big birthday bash. They hired out an entire club and set up a series of activities for people to enjoy. A mechanical ball on the main floor, a ball pit to the side, a BBQ in the smoking area, and a bouncy castle in the downstairs 90’s themed area. It really was an amazing event. You however spent most of your time watching the quiet Korean boy in the corner, every time his eyes met yours you felt compelled to move to him, talk to him, dance with him, anything that would get his attention on you. At the time you put it down to the alcohol. It took you exactly 3 and a half drinks to pick up the courage and interrupt his current conversation.
He was very sweet, really sweet considering he clearly didn’t want to be talking to you. It was evident in the way his eyes shifted and the nervous playing with his sleeves, still you persevered. Something about him wouldn’t let you give up, not yet at least. Your saving grace came when your favourite band came blaring over the speakers. “PRETTYMUCH” aren’t an underrated band per say but it’s difficult to find someone who knows them in your circle, so when Jungkook’s face lit up at the same time as yours you knew you had your in. So with the Phases remix blaring through the club you took your opportunity.
“I love this song!” You took his hand and pulled him on to the dance floor before you really realised that’s what you are doing. To start with he was frozen, a little shocked by your boldness, but as you gave it your all he joined in, loosening up for the first time that entire night. After that it was a lot easier to talk to him, you actually went into the smoking area to talk more about shared music interests.
After you went to get a drink you got caught up with some others and he came to find you. It felt like an electric shock when he’d grabbed your hand to get your attention, but there were a lot of balloons around so that would explain the residual electricity. By the time the party was over, and the club was closing, you didn’t want to leave him, not just now but ever. You found yourselves wandering around aimlessly, talking about nothing until the sun came up. Looking back it was then you decided Jungkook was it for you. You had never really believed in the soulmate tradition until you met him.
Weeks go by of you texting back and forth. You found out the reason he was so into music was because he was a musician himself, he even promised to perform for you sometime. A lot of promises were made in those messages.
‘There’s this amazing Restaurant in the city’ you claimed promising to take him with you next time.
‘I really want to see this movie’ he said promising to pay for tickets when it came out.
‘We should go see this band together’ The number one promise between the two of you, quickly racking up a lot of different acts to see together.
So when one of those bands turned up on the roster for the local you’d bought tickets immediately sending him the confirmation. Your stomach had fluttered thinking about seeing him in person again. And so you counted down the days as they passed. Picked and repicked your outfit. Talked yourself in and out of going. Eventually the day arrived. The doorbell signalling his arrival was deafening, ringing out through your small studio apartment. You took a few deep breaths before opening the door.
He was flawless, your tipsy memory hadn’t done him justice. A broad chest draped in a white long sleeve tee, ripped skinnies straining against his thighs, his hair swept into a James Dean quiff. You might’ve laughed at the way your outfits had accidently matched (a black crop with white skinnies) had you been capable of making a noise.
“Ready to go?” He asked nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. You’d nodded, blushing when you realised you had been staring.
It was a short bus ride into the town centre. Spent in relatively comfortable silence arms brushing against one another in the limited space on the crowded vehicle. The club was packed wall to wall when you got inside, no hope of getting to the front of the crowd, or so you’d thought. Jungkook grabbed your hand winked at you and began heading in the opposite direction of the stage. He led you up some back stairs and on to a balcony you hadn’t ever noticed before.
“I’ve played here before, almost no one knows this is here, but it will give us the perfect view.” He dropped your hand in favour of leaning over the railing. You couldn’t help but feel cold at the loss. The performance was great, you found yourselves screaming lyrics back and forth at one another. Some people had cottoned on to your little hiding spot and soon it became as packed as the rest of the club. Whether he was trying to protect you from the others or he was pushed there you will never know, but Jungkook ended up caging you to the railing, head resting on your shoulder.
After the show you’d decided it was time to ask him how he felt. The club was still busy, but the two of you had been in a quiet corner on your own nursing drinks and chatting aimlessly.
“Do you believe in soulmates?” You asked, broaching the topic carefully. You watched closely for his reaction, but he gave nothing away. Instead he just shrugged.
“I did once.” It was too blunt, you knew you should’ve stopped but you couldn’t, now you’d decided to tell him it was like verbal diarrhoea.
“I didn’t think I did, I mean I’ve never seen any ‘matching birthmarks’ and every couple I know is perfectly happy… but then I met you and I keep thinking about it, and you, and how I feel about you.” You watched as his face goes from pensive to a deer caught in the headlights.
“I… I have to leave now.” He got up and ran into the crowd before you even had a chance to reach for him. He dipped through a back entrance of the club and into the night before you could even push through the first layer of people.
The ride home had seemed a lot longer. Holding back tears had proved extremely difficult. Of all the reactions he could’ve given you that might’ve been the worst one. Somehow you found yourself thinking even him laughing in your face might’ve been better. You left the lights in your studio switched off that night. Made a beeline for your bed and passed out face down.
It would’ve felt like a bad dream when you woke up… if it hadn’t been for the crusty mascara tracking down your cheeks. You’d picked up your phone from where it lay abandoned next to you. Battery on 12%. You’d decided then it’d be best to run damage control, at least save the friendship.
Y/N: I’m sorry about last night…
You hadn’t expected his reply to be quick, so it’d surprised you when the typing bubbles appeared immediately; and furthered your sadness when they disappeared moments later without a message.
For days you spiralled. Going over the moment again and again in your head. Each replay turning the memory into something worse than the original.
Eventually you plucked yourself out of bed, deciding to face the problem head on and talk to the friend that invited you both to their birthday in the first place.
She met you at a café downtown during her lunch break. It was obvious by your red rimed eyes and sniffling nose that you had been crying but she was nice enough to ignore it for the most part. You caught up on her life for a little while until you physically couldn’t hold back anymore.
You told her exactly what had happened between you and JK, watching as her expression got both more understanding and pitying as you got closer to the end. Whatever you thought she was going to tell you was no where close to the story you got. You sat mouth wide open as she told you about the accident, and the way it affected Jungkook. It made you want to cry all over again. You didn’t know what to say once she had finished, stewing in your own thoughts for a while. The main thought that kept coming to the front of your mind was one that made you feel so evil. But you had to get it out
“What if she wasn’t really his soulmate. What if he was never meant for her” Its barely above a whisper but your friend heard it.
“He truly believes that she was” She replied squinting at you. Her break ended shortly after that leaving you alone with your thoughts.
It’s almost a month later when you see Jungkook again. Hadn’t heard a single thing from him since the concert but at least you knew why.
This time it was someone pool party. You honestly hadn’t been expecting to see him there. Didn’t even know you had mutual friends past that one girl. You didn’t think twice about your birthmark when you stripped down to your two piece. Why would you? Everyone has one. You were lay out on a sun-lounger with a drink when you spotted him. Tucked away in a corner once again, the only difference this time was his attention was already on you. He looked as good as ever, hair damp and slicked back, Long-sleeved neoprene shit covering his torso but trunks showing off his amazing thighs. You’d forced yourself to look away form him but could still feel the intensity of his gaze on you.
Eventually you couldn’t take it anymore, too hot under the sun and his stare you decided to change out of your swimsuit into a sundress for the evening. Heading inside you found your way into someone’s bedroom to get changed. Perhaps you should’ve checked to see if the door the locked though, because just as you had wiggled out of the bikini top Jungkook burst into the room.
“Ah shit… Sorry… I um.” His hand had flown in front of his eyes as he’d slammed the door shut behind him and you’d immediately reached for the flimsy dress pulling it over you torso so he could reopen his eyes.
“What in the actual fuck Jungkook?” you whisper screamed not wanting to draw attention to the two of you hidden away.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I didn’t think… I just needed to see…”
“See what?! My boobs? I think you managed that one perv. You haven’t spoken to me in weeks and now all of a sudden you can’t wait long enough to knock.” You came across a lot meaner than you had meant, you just hadn’t been prepared for him to want to speak to you again.
“No I’m sorry I’ll go, this was a bad idea, I was probably seeing things anyway.” He mumbled looking sheepishly at the floor/
“No wait it’s okay, I really want to apologise don’t leave.” You took a deep breath and waited for his eyes to meet yours properly. When they did you could see the shock behind them.
“Why do you need to apologise? I’m the one that ran off, I never even told you why and I fucked up and I’m sorry I just…” You reached for him then, wanting nothing more than to comfort him and then realised it wasn’t your place, arm dropping heavily back to your side. “I felt so guilty with you, not because of you, because of me.” You nodded in understanding.
“I found about your soulmate after I confessed to you. I’m so sorry I didn’t know. I never would’ve brought it up if I had known you had already found yours.” You’d broken eye contact with him then unable to watch the sadness in his eyes and not be able to do anything about it.
“That’s why I felt so guilty though because the way I feel about you is so similar to the way I felt about her, how I still feel about her deep down. I was so confused because you’re only supposed to get one soulmate, and if I could feel the same way about you in such a short time… it just feels like I’m betraying her by loving you.” He stepped forward reaching for your chin and forced you to meet his gaze. “The today when I saw your birthmark on your thigh I could’ve cried.” He uses his free hand to unzip the shirt he’d been wearing. He pulled his left arm from the sleeve exposing his birthmark to you. A puzzle piece to fit perfectly into your own.
You’d gasped at the revelation you were right. He was meant to be yours. And yet it didn’t feel right. The anguish on his face was clear, the internal fight he had obviously been having with himself ever since the concert.
“Letting yourself love me now doesn’t mean you loved her any less” you whispered, allowing yourself to move even closer to him, wrapping him in your arms. He’d nuzzled into your neck allowing tears to stream down his cheeks and onto your shoulder. You’d felt every bit of stress leave his body as he cried. Emotions he hadn’t even know he had been holding onto, finally letting himself really breath since he had lost her all those years ago.
You’d lost track of the time, just stood with him, holding him until the final few sniffles came. His cheeks had been puffy by and red when he pulled away, wiping his face on the sleeve still on his right arm.
“Do you want to leave? We can go back to mine” You’d asked carefully, not willing to let him go home alone after feeling like that. He’d nodded weakly, sliding his arm back into the shirt before taking your hand in his. You’d headed for the door only to be brought back by the hand he had on yours. He’d pulled you so close you could see the flecks of gold in his irises, watched your reaction before leaning in and kissing you. It was salty with left over tears, but you wouldn’t change you first kiss for the world. Everything felt like it clicked into place in that moment, the world tilted on its axis. The exchange was short lived, a chaste peck followed by a few smaller pecks before he let you lead him all the way home.
Masterlist
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c-is-for-circinate · 5 years
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Something that’s been very interesting to me, in this new wave of post-miniseries Good Omens fandom, is the apparent fannish consensus that Crowley is, in fact, bad at his job.  That he’s actually quite nice.  That he’s been skating by hiding his general goodness from hell by taking credit for human evil and doling out a smattering of tiny benign inconveniences that he calls bad.
I get the urge towards that headcanon, and I do think the Crowley in the miniseries comes off as nicer than the one in the book.  (I think miniseries Crowley and Aziraphale are both a little nicer, a little more toothless, than the versions of themselves in the book.)  But maybe it’s because I was a book fan first, or maybe it’s because I just find him infinitely more interesting this way--I think Crowley, even show!Crowley, has the capacity to be very good at his job of sowing evil.  And I think that matters to the story as a whole.
A demon’s job on Earth, and specifically Crowley’s job on Earth, isn’t to make people suffer.  It’s to make people sin.  And the handful of ‘evil’ things we see Crowley do over the course of the series are effective at that, even if the show itself doesn’t explore them a lot.
Take the cell phone network thing, for instance.  This gets a paragraph in the book that’s largely brushed off in the conversation with Hastur and Ligur, and I think it’s really telling: 
What could he tell them?  That twenty thousand people got bloody furious?  That you could hear the arteries clanging shut all across the city?  And that then they went back and took it out on their secretaries or traffic wardens or whatever, and they took it out on other people?  In all kinds of vindictive little ways which, and here was the good bit, they thought up themselves.  For the rest of the day.  The pass-along effects were incalculable.  Thousands and thousands of souls all got a faint patina of tarnish, and you hardly had to lift a finger.
In essence, without any great expenditure of effort (look, I’d never say Crowley isn’t slothful, but that just makes him efficient), he’s managed to put half of London in a mental and emotional state that Crowley knows will make them more inclined to sin.  He’s given twenty thousand or a hundred thousand or half a million people a Bad Day.  Which, okay, it’s just a bad day--but bad days are exhausting.  Bad days make you snap, make you fail at things, make you feel guiltier and more stressed out in the aftermath when you wake up the next day, makes everything a little worse.  Bad days matter.
Maybe it’s because I’m a believer in the ripple effect of small kindnesses, and that means I have to believe in its opposite.  Maybe it’s just that I, personally, have had enough days that were bad enough that a downed cell network (or an angry coworker because of a downed cell network) would honestly have mattered.  But somebody who deliberately moves through the world doing their best to make everyone’s lives harder, with the aim of encouraging everybody around them to be just a little crueler, just a little angrier, just a little less empathetic--you know what, yes.  I do call that successful evil.
It’s subtle, is the thing.  That’s why Hastur and Ligur don’t get it, don’t approve of it.  Not because Crowley isn’t good at his job, but because we’ve seen from the beginning that Hastur and Ligur are extremely out of touch with humanity and the modern world and just plain aren’t smart enough to get it.  It’s a strategy that relies on understanding how humans work, what our buttons are and how to press them.  It’s also a strategy that’s remarkably advanced in terms of free will.  Hastur and Ligur deliberately tempt and coerce and entrap individuals into sinning, but Crowley never even gets close.  We never see him say to a single person, ‘hey, I’ve got an idea for you, why don’t you go do this bad thing?’  He sets up conditions to encourage humans to actually do the bad things they’re already thinking of themselves.  He creates a situation and opens it up to the results of free choice.  Every single thing a person does after Crowley’s messed with them is their own decision, without any demonic coercion to blame for any of it.
You see it again in the paintball match.  "They wanted real guns, I gave them what they wanted.”  In this case, Crowley didn’t need to irritate anybody into wanting to do evil--the desire to shoot and hurt and maybe even kill their own coworkers was already present in every combatant on that paintball field.  Crowley just so happened to be there at exactly the right time to give them the opportunity to turn that fleeting, kind-of-bad-but-never-acted-upon desire into real, concrete, attempted murder.  Sure, nobody died--where would be the fun in a pile of corpses?  But now forty-odd people who may never have committed a real act of violence in their entire lives, caught in a moment of weakness with real live weapons in their hands, will get to spend the rest of their lives knowing that given the opportunity and the tiniest smidgen of plausible deniability, they are absolutely the sort of people who could and would kill another human being they see every single day over a string of petty annoyances.
Crowley understands the path between bad thought and evil action.  He knows it gets shorter when somebody is upset or irritated, and that it gets shorter when people practice turning one into the other.  He understands that sometimes, removing a couple of practical obstacles is the only nudge a person needs--no demonic pressure or circumvention of free will required.
I love this interpretation, because I love the idea that Crowley, who’s been living on Earth for six thousand years, actually gets people in a way no other demon can.  I love the idea that Crowley, the very first tempter, who was there when free will was invented, understands how it works and how to use it better than maybe anyone else.  And I really love the idea that Crowley our hero, who loves Aziraphale and saves the world, isn’t necessarily a good guy.
There’s a narrative fandom’s been telling that, at its core, is centered around the idea that Crowley is good, and loves and cares and is nice, and always has been.  Heaven and its rigid ideas of Right and Wrong is itself the bad thing.  Crowley is too good for Heaven, and was punished for it, but under all the angst and pain and feelings of hurt and betrayal, he’s the best of all of them after all.
That’s a compelling story.  There’s a reason we keep telling it.  The conflict between kindness and Moral Authority, the idea that maybe the people in charge are the ones who’re wrong and the people they’ve rejected are both victim and hero all at once--yeah.  There’s a lot there to connect with, and I wouldn’t want to take it away from anyone.  But the compelling story I want, for me, is different.
I look at Crowley and I want a story about someone who absolutely has the capacity for cruelty and disseminating evil into the world.  Somebody who’s actually really skilled at it, even if all he does is create opportunities, and humans themselves just keep living down to and even surpassing his expectations.  Somebody who enjoys it, even.  Maybe he was unfairly labeled and tossed out of heaven to begin with, but he’s embraced what he was given.  He’s thrived.  He is, legitimately, a bad person.
And he tries to save the world anyway.
He loves Aziraphale.  He helps save the entire world.  Scared and desperate and determined and devoted, he drives through a wall of fire for the sake of something other than himself.  He likes humans, their cleverness, their complexities, the talent they have for doing the same sort of evil he does himself, the talent they have for doing the exact opposite.  He cares.
It’s not a story about someone who was always secretly good even though they tried to convince the whole world and themself that they weren’t.  It’s a story about someone who, despite being legitimately bad in so many ways, still has the capacity to be good anyway.  It’s not about redemption, or about what Heaven thinks or judges or wants.  It’s about free will.  However terrible you are or were or have the ability to be, you can still choose to do a good thing.  You can still love.  You can still be loved in return.
And I think that matters.
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stars in the sk(eyes)
Fandom: Sanders Sides Characters: Logan, Virgil, Roman, Remus, Janus, Patton Rating: Teen & up Relationships: Analogical, background Intrualiceit Warnings: Language, food, like 1 line that’s maybe suggestive but also said half-jokingly Word count: 5592
Read on AO3!
My writing masterpost
Starlight Universe masterpost
analogical week 2021 start - previous - here - next - masterpost
Summary: Logan has always loved stars. Virgil has always loved music. Maybe they can put those together with a little help from some friends.
Notes: Day 2 of Analogical Week 2021! @analogicalweek Takes place in my Starlight Universe, does not need context to read.  Patton, Janus, and Remus are all nonbinary folks who use he/they pronouns and masculine terms in this universe (but in the flashback scene, Janus is only using they/them); Roman, Logan, and Virgil are all men who use he/him. (I know absolutely nothing about music or concerts or anything, so please don't roast me too hard for any inaccuracies, lol.)
They were only opening the concert; the real attraction was a band from out of town with a midsize following, making a stop on their tour. Not that Virgil was complaining to have landed this gig. It would be the biggest performance his band—the band he, Janus, and the twins had formed a few years ago—had given, by a lot. And that was exciting. Sure, Virgil had absolutely spent hours stressing over how big it was, but he knew how to manage his anxiety, especially when it came to performances, and the anxiety didn’t stop the excitement.
“You’re going to do wonderfully,” Logan had told him earlier that day as he’d been getting dressed, passing his fingerless leather gloves and then holding his jacket for him to slide into. He’d spoken it with a simple, unassuming confidence, as if it were a given fact. It had been more comforting than Virgil thought Logan knew.
With the memory of his husband’s words carefully nestled against his heart, and the jacket Logan had helped him paint rainbow stripes on sitting on his shoulders, Virgil found it easier to let go of the anxiety. Some lingering tension remained as he paced backstage, running through lyrics in his head and triple checking that everyone knew the schedule, but it wasn’t as bad as usual. Most of it, if he was being honest with himself, wasn’t even about the performance—it was about the surprise the band had put together, the surprise Virgil had had to bite his tongue a couple of times to keep himself from thoughtlessly mentioning it to Logan, even though the surprise had been almost entirely his own idea and the others were just helping. But he’d successfully kept the secret, and now Logan was out in the audience, and Virgil was backstage, and there would be no more chances to spoil it.
But Logan was out in the audience, and Virgil was backstage, and the final round of jitters was setting in. And when Logan wasn’t there, Virgil’s jitters took the form of pestering the hell out of everyone in the room, to make sure everything was perfect.
He checked all the instruments, giving Janus’s keyboard a once-over without touching because he knew better by this point. Remus’s drumset was already on the stage—he was drumming with his fingers on the end of the fallout table in the corner—so there was nothing to do about that. Roman was actively tuning his guitar, so Virgil left that alone too and instead checked his bass, just in case it had gotten out of tune in the last thirty seconds.
All of the instruments were fine, great, even, and Remus and Roman were undeniably being productive; Janus, who’d been on their phone in the corner, had stepped out for just a moment, probably to get a drink of water or something.
Things were in order. Which was good. Great, even. But it gave Virgil nothing to do with his restless energy.
“Are we ready?” he asked, jiggling his leg and tracing the pattern of his fishnet tights through one of the large rips in his jeans.
Roman looked up. “Yes,” he said shortly. Roman’s nerves tended to take the form of a very short temper, which didn’t mix well with Virgil’s perfectionism.
“Yeah,” Remus agreed, running a hand through his dark green curls and straightening his denim jacket.
“We all know the order things go in?” Virgil followed up after a minute of tense silence.
“Mmhm,” Remus said easily. Remus, and Remus alone, somehow always managed to remain at ease and unbothered no matter what. Virgil didn’t know how they did it.
Virgil took stock of everyone’s outfits. He himself was wearing fishnet leggings that went all the way up past his waist. Over them he had ripped black skinny jean, and a black crop top splattered with white paint. On top of that, he wore his black denim jacket, which matched the ones the other three were wearing. Virgil’s had the rainbow pride flag painted on the front, all down the lapel area; the rest of the jacket was covered in patches. He checked his makeup, examining the black eyeshadow and lipstick in his phone’s camera; it looked fine. Perfect, even.
Roman was the neatest of the group, made to stand out as the lead singer. He wore the same high-heeled doc martens as the other three, but in white where theirs were all black. He had a tight white longsleeve shirt made of a shimmery material and a matching pair of white pants, and the black jacket contrasting nicely against it all. Roman’s jacket had the aromantic pride flag where Virgil had the rainbow, and the rest of his jacket was painted with red roses all at the ends of long, intricate, thorny stems. His eyeliner was sharp enough to cut, and his curly hair was piled up atop a black headband wrapped around his forehead like a crown.
Janus still wasn’t back, but he’d been on the neater end too, to counter Virgil and especially Remus’s scruffiness. Their outfit was sleek and all black save for a thin white belt around their waist. A black hat with a broad round brim framed their face like a dark halo. His jacket had nonbinary and pan stripes on the front, and thin white squiggly lines running up and down like warped pinstripes everywhere else. (Virgil knew where on the jacket one line ended in a tiny snake head, and where one trailed off into a tail, but you wouldn’t notice unless you knew to look.) They were wearing black lipstick to match Virgil, and winged eyeliner to match Roman, and contour that emphasized the sharpness of his cheekbones; definitely the heaviest makeup of the group.
Remus, sitting in the corner and making noises to themself, was a sharp contrast to his boyfriend Janus’s sleek elegance. His black jeans, splattered with white paint to match Virgil’s crop top, were ripped almost to shreds, open nearly entirely from mid-thigh down to his ankles, with only a few clinging strands of fabric keeping them anywhere in the realm of being pants. The tee they wore—black again, with his own name painted on it in large white letters—was also ripped full of holes, these ones much more deliberate; he’d slashed it carefully with an exacto knife, kneeling on the ground and focusing with their tongue stuck out slightly, until it was exactly how he wanted it and you could catch glimpses of their top surgery scars when they moved. His makeup consisted of dramatic green and black eyeshadow, and his jacket had the trans and polyamorous flags on it—he and Janus, who had nearly identical collections of pride flags between them, had split two and two which color schemes they wanted to use. The rest of Remus’s jacket consisted of a few jagged holes and some incredibly detailed paintings of green tentacles.
The instruments were fine. The costumes were fine. The makeup was fine. What else did that leave for Virgil to fret over as the final minutes ticked away?
“How about the blocking?” Virgil said. “We can go over it again if anyone—”
“I promise we know, Virge,” Roman snapped.
“Come on, kiddo, you know he’s just trying to help!” piped up Patton, Janus and Remus’s other boyfriend, who was suddenly somehow present and sitting in Janus’s lap, his pastel outfit completely out of place amidst the varying edgy styles everyone else in the room was sporting.
“How did you get back here?” Roman and Virgil demanded in unison. Virgil hadn’t even noticed Janus was back, let alone that he’d brought Patton, who was supposed to be in the audience with Logan until the performance was over.
“Oops,” Janus said, not sounding even a tiny bit remorseful as they played with Patton’s dark curls.
“Did you leave Logan alone?” Virgil demanded of Patton, hands on his hips.
“Only for a minute! He’s getting snacks, anyway,” Patton said, wrapping his arms around Janus’s neck. “We both know where our seats are, he’ll be fine.”
“You already have a partner backstage, stop being greedy,�� Roman scolded Janus. “Patton, you know we need to focus right now, can you please not distract my horny bandmates until after the show?”
“You sound like Virgil, with all that worrywarting,” Remus commented, snickering.
“Take that back this instant!” Roman demanded as Virgil gave Remus double birds.
Remus only guffawed, looking incredibly amused.
“Seriously, though, uh, Patton, with all the love in my heart: get out,” Virgil said.
Patton wrinkled his nose, but pressed a warm smack of a kiss to Janus’s cheek and hopped to his feet.
“Do I get a kiss?” Remus asked, reaching his arms out hopefully.
“Makeup—” Roman began warningly.
“I haven’t got any on my mouth!” Remus said triumphantly. “Suck it, Jan.”
Janus smiled wryly, fingers rising to but not quite touching their black lipstick that Patton had avoided so carefully. “The prices I pay for beauty.”
Patton giggled, crossing to Remus, clasping both his hands, and leaning down to kiss him sweetly.
“Great, you’re very very cute together but now is not the time, Patton get out and stop distracting your boyfriends,” Roman said, shooing Patton towards the door.
Remus raised an eyebrow. “High strung much?”
“Not all of us possess your—your stupid coolheadedness powers, Remus!” Roman snapped.
Patton paused in the doorway and pointed at Roman, getting out his dad voice. “Hey. Be nice.” The finger moved to Virgil. “Be nice.” His eyes flicked to Remus, then Janus, and his voice shifted to a different tone, half flirty and half joking. “You two be good boys.”
“Oh my god oh my god oh my god, I said to stop being horny!” Roman shrieked, chasing a giggling Patton out of the room and down the hall. He returned moments later, Patton-less and fixing at his hair to make sure it wasn’t too messy. “We had better not have any more alloromantic bullshit from any of you until after the show is over!” he announced. “Okay?” He didn’t sound quite as annoyed as before.
“Homophobia,” Remus accused teasingly.
But instead of snapping back, Roman giggled. “Oh, shut up.”
The twins began joking back and forth, Janus making the occasional amused interjection.  Evidently Patton’s intrusion into the room, although technically unhelpful, had done wonders to break the tension, and Virgil reminded himself to thank Patton later.
Virgil’s phone buzzed with a text from Logan.
Logan: Patton found me, don’t worry. Logan: How are you doing?
Virgil: hahahahahaaaa i don’t wanna think abt it
Logan began typing, then the little bubble went away; a second later, the phone began to ring, Logan’s caller ID plain to see.
“Hi, babe,” Virgil greeted.
“Hello, dear. Would you like to walk me through your plan for the performance, to reassure yourself?”
Virgil let out a small sigh of relief. “Yes, please.”
“I am listening,” Logan assured him.
Virgil took a deep breath and launched into a detailed itinerary, knowing that Logan didn’t mind if he got a little too technical in his terminology because Logan was listening for Virgil’s sake.
“And then that’s about it,” Virgil wound down, carefully leaving off the final item from his explanation. It wouldn’t do to spoil the surprise now. “Oh, looks like we’re getting ready now, gotta go.”
“I love you,” Logan said quickly. “You’re going to do a wonderful job.”
Virgil let out a short laugh. “Thanks, L. Love you too.” He hung up, set his phone down on the table, and picked up his bass.
“You ready?” Roman asked, nudging Virgil with his elbow, as the group finally headed towards the stage.
Virgil sucked in a long breath. “Yeah. I think so. Are you?”
“Oh, you know it!” Roman grinned, a spring in his step. He paused after a second and glanced back to Virgil. “Sorry for being so wound up earlier.”
“It happens.” Virgil shrugged. “Right back at you.”
Roman nodded and put a hand on Virgil’s shoulder. “Hey. He’s going to love it. Just wait and see.”
Virgil looked away, half smiling. “I sure hope so.”
“He will, I know it!” Roman insisted as they climbed the steps onto the stage and emerged into what could practically have been the eye of a hurricane, for all the noise and light that surrounded the stage.
The sky above was fully dark; bright lights everywhere in the area contrasted against it. There was a decent crowd. The venue seemed almost full, as a matter of fact. The observation added a thrill of adrenaline to compliment the goosebumps from the chilly breeze across Virgil’s bare midriff.
Roman stepped forward and spread his arms wide right as the spotlights came up. “Hey, folks, thank you for being with us here tonight!” he said, his smile gleaming in the bright lights and his voice booming in the speakers. “We have some great hits lined up for you tonight! Let’s get it started, huh?”
Virgil waited a few seconds for the cheer of the crowd to peak. Janus began the melody on the keyboard; Virgil came in with his bass at exactly the same second Roman began to sing, and Remus picked up the beat on the drums on cue.
Virgil was quickly able to get lost in the music, all his focus on playing and providing backup vocals, leaving him with no more brain space for his anxiety. This was his favorite thing about music: its ability to keep him in the moment.
They played three songs. Two covers that always went over really well, and one song that the twins had written together about family that always left Roman just a little teary. Normally that would be their closing song.
But tonight was a little bit different.
Roman took a step back, nodding at Virgil; the pair of them traded places onstage, putting Virgil front and center.
“So,” Virgil said, the mic on his cheek picking up his words, “we were thinking we’d let you all be the first to hear our new song. Uh, I wrote this one. And normally Roman does our singing, because—well, you’ve heard his voice. But this song is kind of special. I wrote it for my husband. So. We thought I’d perform it tonight.”
As Janus began playing the melody, Virgil searched the front row of the crowd, squinting against the lights, until he found Logan, sitting next to Patton and gazing up at Virgil with shining eyes. “Lo, I love you so much, babe. More than every star you’ve ever shown me.” He took a deep breath and began to sing.
***
10 years earlier
Unknown Number: Hello. This is Janus. Logan’s roommate
Virgil: how’d u get this number?
Janus: I broke into Logan’s phone after you started dating and saved you to my contacts just in case
[read 3:43pm}
[3:46pm]
Virgil: i Virgil: wtf dude
Janus: Your boyfriend has been moping in his room all day, can you please come fix it? Janus: Roman is starting to mope too for no good reason, but he’s doing it in the living room and at this point it is starting to affect my quality of life
Virgil: yk i literally could not care less abt that part u asshole <3 Virgil: i’ll be over in 15 Virgil: is he ok?
Janus: He won’t talk to me, I don’t know what happened
Virgil: i’ll be over in 10
It was normally a 12-minute walk from the dorm Virgil was an RA in to Logan’s apartment just off campus, but Virgil could walk fast when he was anxious or alone, and in this case he was both. Even taking the time to grab a jacket, he still made it to the building in nine minutes flat.
Janus let Virgil into the apartment almost the second he knocked, relief plain to see on their face.
“You see?” Janus said over their shoulder in a scolding tone. “I had to resort to outside measures to deal with your bullshit.”
“It’s not bullshit,” Roman whined from where he was slumped on the couch, scrolling aimlessly through Netflix on the TV.
“Oh? And what’s this?” Janus demanded, hands on their hips. They dramatically pushed the button to open the microwave door, revealing a limp burrito wrapped in a damp paper towel.
“Lunch,” Roman mumbled defensively.
“You hate microwave food, and it’s four in the afternoon!” Janus snapped.
“I am in a creative slump, Jan! Have some sympathy!”
“No! Get your whiny ass off the couch and stop ruining my afternoon!”
Virgil took a deep breath and pointedly walked in between the pair of them down the hall towards Logan’s room. Roman and Janus’s still-bickering voices faded into the background.
“Hey.” Virgil knocked on the door, which had a piece of printer paper taped to it with Logan’s name written on it in blue sharpie and a couple of stars, both scribbles and stickers, scattered around it. He waited, and when there was no reply, he added, “Are you okay, Lo?”
“I’m fine,” Logan said, in a voice that had obviously been crying.
“Can I come in?” Virgil asked.
“Okay.”
Virgil pushed open the door and stepped into the dim room, closing it behind him. The blinds were closed, and Logan was curled up under a mound of blankets.
“Hey, baby,” Virgil murmured, kicking off his shoes and climbing to sit on the bed beside Logan and stroke his hair. “What’s wrong?”
Logan made a muffled noise of misery into the mattress.
“What?” Virgil said after a moment.
Logan rolled over. “Teacher didn’t like my essay.”
Virgil chewed on the inside of his lip for a moment. “Okay, I promise I’m not making fun of you, but you do know that that is possibly the most stereotypically you thing you have ever said to me, right?”
Logan let out a little huff that was not quite a laugh. “I guess.” He was silent for a moment as Virgil continued to stroke his hair. “And I know it’s stupid. I still got a B+ and my overall grade in the class is fine and I know I’m a good writer and everything. But it sucks. I was really proud of it.”
“I’m sorry about that,” Virgil said, choosing to ignore the squirm in his gut that always happened when grades came up. It was so easy to compare or to worry about others comparing and then to worry about others getting upset over comparisons and—he dragged himself back to the present, forcibly setting the issue aside. “You’re allowed to feel upset,” he told Logan. “About anything that upsets you. Even if you wouldn’t choose it.”
Logan didn’t respond, but after a minute his hand snaked out from under the covers and grasped Virgil’s.
“Do you want to go for a walk?” Virgil asked, struck with the idea.
“Huh?”
“A walk. Get out of your head for a little bit and hang out. We can talk if you want, or just be together.”
Roman’s voice grew particularly loud outside, and Virgil picked out a teary, petulant, “I hate you!”
“Plus it’ll get you away from that energy,” he added wryly.
Logan drew in a breath and sat up. “Alright. Let’s do it.” He pulled out a denim jacket while Virgil put his shoes back on and retied the laces. They made their way out of the apartment, hand in hand.
Roman was on his feet now, releasing an angry tirade at Janus, hands clenched into fists and sounding on the verge of crying, the TV remote cast on the floor beside him. Janus was sitting on the kitchen counter with arms crossed and an intimidating glare on their face.
“Hey!” Virgil snapped, and Roman cut off abruptly. “Eat some food,” Virgil told him on a hunch. Sure, Roman could be a little immature at times, but this was on a whole different level, and a lack of food seemed like the simplest culprit.
Virgil looked over at Janus, to make it clear that they weren’t off the hook either. “We’re going out. You two better make up before we get back. Clear?”
“You can’t tell us what to do—” Roman began stubbornly.
“Janus literally called me in to fix all your problems, so yeah. I can. Also open your windows, it’s gloomy as fuck in here.” Virgil opened the door and held it for Logan, tossing one last glare over his shoulder at Roman, who looked dumbstruck, and Janus, who avoided eye contact.
Logan was quiet as the two of them walked down the stairs and exited the apartment building, hands in his pockets (one still clasping Virgil’s) and eyes on the toes of his slip-on shoes.
“Wanna talk?” Virgil asked.
Logan tilted his head to the side for a moment, his thinking face slipping over his features, and then shook his head.
Virgil nodded. “Okay.” He fished in his pocket for his earbuds and plugged them in. “Let me know if that changes, okay?” He received a small nod and turned on his go-to playlist—a 12-and-a-half-hour-long composition of all his favorite emo songs that he could loop without having to put any thought in.
The two of them wandered through the streets, hand in hand, music blaring in Virgil’s ears and Logan’s fingers soft and warm against his. They made their way towards downtown; their university was in a small city, and it was pretty walkable.
As they walked, weaving around and across different blocks, occasionally stopping to peek into particularly interesting shop windows, the tension in Logan’s shoulders slowly began to relax and his gaze migrated from the toes of his shoes upwards to take in the surrounding scenery. Virgil felt himself relaxing in turn. The subdued, almost sullen look on Logan’s face was beginning to shift back to his typical bright-eyed curiosity, which meant that while maybe not all was right with the world, a whole lot was right with the world.
As the sky began to darken, Logan’s pace quickened with sudden purpose—but he didn’t lead Virgil in the direction of the apartment. Instead, he headed in almost the exact opposite direction. Virgil was lost for a moment as to where they were going, until the park in the center of downtown came into view. Ah. That explained it. He was kind of glad; he didn’t feel ready for the quiet time they were spending together to be over.
A scent caught his attention as they entered the park, and he tugged gently at Logan’s arm, nodding towards the mediterranean food truck. A small smile answered him, and a nod, and the pair of them made their way over. They both ordered gyros—Virgil chicken, and Logan, who was trying out vegetarian food, falafel.
Fifteen minutes later, seated side by side on a park bench and finishing the last of their sandwiches, Logan cleared his throat. “Thank you.”
Virgil bumped his shoulder against his boyfriend’s. “Of course, babe.”
“I am feeling… better,” Logan said cautiously, as if he were testing out the words in his mouth to see if they felt true.
Virgil nodded. “Better is good.”
Logan nodded, eyes moving to the sky, which was now almost fully dark except for a streak of orange sunset leftover on the horizon. The stars were out, at least the brightest ones that could be seen even past the floodlights placed every so often across the park.
“You like space, and shit, right?” Virgil said, scooting closer to Logan and dragging his arm to wrap around Virgil as he rested his head on Logan’s shoulder. It was a bit of a rhetorical question, since he knew Logan had an astronomy minor and was the vice president of the astronomy club and had gone on no less than three eager rambles about space in the last month alone, but one could always do with a conversation opener.
Logan blinked and looked down at him. “I do.” You know this, his tone said, a little puzzled at the question.
“What star is that?” Virgil pointed at a particularly bright one, although he wasn’t paying nearly as much attention to the star as he was to Logan’s face.
Sure enough, Logan brightened, his eyes more interesting than any star. “Oh! That’s not a star at all—it’s actually Mercury!”
“Really?” Virgil asked, grinning and scooting closer.
Logan wrapped his arm a little more tightly around Virgil’s shoulders with an answering smile. “Yes, and it’s actually very fascinating…” And just like that, he was off, words spilling out of his mouth at a breakneck pace, gesturing eagerly with his free hand to emphasize his points.
Virgil listened, doing his best to follow along and asking a few questions whenever Logan started to wind down, but mostly just happy to watch his boyfriend’s lips as he excitedly infodumped, and his eyes, too, alight with delight, the frustration of the disappointing grade all but forgotten as he held Virgil and told him stories about the night sky.
It was nearly ten at night by the time they made their way back to Logan’s apartment, chatting back and forth in quiet voices and giggling. Logan broke off as he opened the door and got a look inside; he glanced over his shoulder at Virgil and put a finger to his lips.
Virgil hushed and followed him in, then saw what the need for quiet was: Janus and Roman were asleep on the sofa, Roman sprawled on his stomach on top of Janus with his limbs everywhere and his face buried in Janus’s chest, Janus with their arms wrapped around him and a throw pillow propping their head up and a worn copy of Crime and Punishment flopped over from where it had clearly been propped up on Roman’s back.
“Precious,” Virgil commented softly as Logan picked up the book, tucked a bookmark off the coffee table into it, and set it down with the tender care he seemed to reserve exclusively for books and Virgil.
Logan smiled. “They are, rather.” He looked down at his roommates. “Sometimes I wonder why I picked the two most dramatic people I know to live with.”
“Sometimes like this afternoon?” Virgil said with a chuckle.
Logan snorted. “Maybe. But then they do things like this, and I remember why I like them.”
Virgil noticed something on the tiny kitchen table. “Or this?” He pointed.
Logan came over to examine what Virgil had found. “Oh,” he breathed, a smile spreading across his face.
A plate of cookies sat on the table, together with a hastily handmade card.
“Sorry :( ❤️” it read in large, expressive cursive, and beneath it in smaller, neater handwriting, “I actually didn’t do anything wrong, but these are for you and I did the dishes, also you’re welcome for the date night.”
Logan laughed quietly, taking a cookie and offering the plate to Virgil, who accepted one cookie—they looked to be snickerdoodles. “Yes. Things exactly like this,” he said. He took a bite of the cookie and raised his eyebrows. “Not bad.”
Virgil grinned and leaned over to kiss him. “Not bad at all,” he agreed, pulling away.
“I literally gave you your own cookie,” Logan whispered, clearly trying not to laugh.
“Yeah, but it tastes better this way.” Virgil winked, mainly for Logan’s reaction—he pressed a hand to his mouth, stifling an amused smile that was still visible in his eyes. “I should go,” Virgil added, glancing at the time. It was Sunday tomorrow, so he didn’t need to worry about how late he was up, but he disliked walking home at night.
Logan nodded, taking another cookie and pressing it into his hand. “Text me when you get home?”
“I always do,” Virgil said, accepting the cookie and a goodnight kiss that still tasted just faintly of cinnamon and sugar.
And he did just that; he always felt a little awkward simply texting “I made it home,” or the like, so he usually tried to come up with interesting questions to send to Logan instead. Tonight, it was:
Virgil: hey Virgil: if u could pick one Thing u always wanted to do Virgil: and get a guarantee that u’d get a chance to do that thing no matter what Virgil: what would u pick?
Logan: Fascinating question! I would like the opportunity to name a star. Logan: I don’t imagine it will ever happen in real life, but I’ve always thought it would be… cool, for lack of a better word.
Virgil: ghfdkjghksdhj i will never be over ur love for space Virgil: u have a Brand and u stick to it
Logan: Well, a brand is important in life. :-) Logan: What about you? What would you pick?
Virgil: i think it’d be neat to be in a band Virgil: idk Virgil: like i don’t wanna be super famous or anything but like Virgil: being in a band would be neat Virgil: yk?
***
Ten years later, Virgil sang the last lines of his song looking right at his husband. “And I don’t even need to look to the skies/Because all of the stars are in your eyes.”
The noise around him didn’t fade away like in the movies; to the contrary, the cheering was so loud it was almost hard to focus. But Logan’s face was absolutely alight—Virgil couldn’t be sure at this distance, but he thought Logan might even be tearing up—and he was looking at Virgil like he was his whole world. Even with the bright lights and overwhelming sounds all around, it was easy to focus on Logan in the midst of it all, Logan pressing a hand to his mouth but smiling too wide for anything to hide it, Logan leaning into the side-hug that Patton—oh, and there was Patton, right beside him—was offering, but never taking his eyes off Virgil. Logan looked so happy, even though Virgil knew concerts weren’t really his favorite type of event, and Virgil was hit right in the chest with a renewed realization that Logan was Virgil’s whole world and damn, Virgil wanted to make sure everyone knew it.
But their time onstage was up, and the next few minutes were a bustle of packing equipment away and cleaning up the space they’d been allotted backstage, and it all went by in a bit of a blur, helped along by the remnants of Virgil’s performance mindset and slight overstimulation—though that was getting better now that he was offstage.
Virgil took a quick break, when the bulk of the urgent work was done, to just stand in the empty restroom and breathe for a moment, the noise of the other band who were now onstage thudding in the background so quietly he could hardly hear it. When he’d fully composed himself, feeling much calmer, he took a deep breath and headed back out.
On his way out, he ran into Roman, pushing a dolly with a box on it. “Oh, good, there you are,” he greeted Virgil. “Can you—oh, for crying out loud,” he broke off, looking ahead.
Following his gaze, Virgil snickered as he saw Remus, leaning against the wall with their hands clasped behind his head, grinning down at Patton, who was leaned forward, bracketing Remus with his arms, looking up at him and speaking, although Virgil couldn’t hear him from here.
“We still have work to do,” Roman said under his breath, but the exasperated gaze he leveled at the pair was altogether far too fond to have much real bite.
Virgil’s mind was on other matters; if Patton was here, that meant—
“Lolo!” Patton’s voice called brightly; he’d seen Roman and Virgil and stepped back from Remus, waving happily at the pair of them. “Virgil’s here!”
At the sound of Patton’s voice, Janus emerged from the room, a little further down the hall, that had served as the headquarters for the band. He bent to give the tiny man a kiss, then turned to Remus for another kiss.
Logan popped his head out just a moment behind Janus. “Virgil?” He brightened when he saw Virgil’s face, and stepped fully out into the hall. He hadn’t changed from his work outfit, still wearing a button down with the sleeves rolled up, a tie, and a pair of jeans, and a smile that he looked like he couldn’t wipe off his face.
He was still the handsomest man Virgil had ever seen.
Virgil looked to Roman. “Permission to get back on my alloromantic bullshit, captain?” he asked teasingly.
Roman rolled his eyes and swatted Virgil’s shoulder. “Go be cute,” he said benignly.
Virgil took off down the hallway to Logan, not quite running; Logan took a few steps to meet him, and Virgil caught him in a hug so eager he actually lifted the taller man off his feet for just a second.
Logan, half-laughing with surprise, grasped Virgil’s shoulders for balance as he regained his feet. “You wrote me a song?”
“Did you like it?” Virgil asked, holding him tightly.
“Virgil, I—” Logan seized Virgil’s face in his hands and kissed him.
Virgil wrapped his arms more firmly around his husband, kissing him back exuberantly and swaying slightly back and forth.
“It’s perfect,” Logan told him, breaking away only just far enough to speak. “You’re perfect.”
Virgil grinned, reaching up to run his fingers through Logan’s neat hair. “Careful, you’ll spoil me.”
“I don’t think I could ever do that,” Logan told him seriously. “It’s not spoiling if you deserve it.”
And really, what was Virgil supposed to do about that except kiss his husband again?
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deliasqueen · 3 years
Text
When I Close my Eyes, I See You
Summary: Your death during the test of the seven wonders was the worst day of Cordelia’s life, but never did she think this would happen.
Warnings: Death
A/N: in this story we’re just going to pretend Misty is fine and she failed a different wonder. :) Also i like how i wrote this as if you all don’t know the plot of apocalypse. My summary was bad, but i didn’t want to spoil my obvious plot.
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Cordelia will never forget the worst day of her life. After an extremely stressful, scarring 2013, Cordelia was ready to go into the new year with a new supreme. She was ready to finally be free from her mother. She was terrified for the test of the seven wonders, but you were there to calm her down. You had convinced her everything was going to be fine, and everyone would live to see the new supreme rise. You had held her face in your hands when you told her this, and even though she couldn’t see you, she knew the look of hope and passion you had on your face.  She remembers the exact words you told her that day, “Honey, everything is going to be ok. I promise I will be ok. The girls will be ok. Your mother will fall, and someone will save this coven. I love you more than anything Lia, I promise I will fight until the very end for us.” If only you had any idea of how soon that promise would be shattered into a million pieces
Soon after, the test had begun. You got through the first few wonders like they were nothing. But then came descensum. Cordelia will swear she could’ve thrown up from how nervous she was when you were getting ready for the spell. You gave her a quick kiss with an, “I love you baby, and I’ll see you soon.” And unbeknownst to both of you, those were your last words.
When she heard you all shout descensum, she knew the timer had started. She could feel the heat of the rising sun progressing by the minute after each girl rose, every girl but hers. She knew the second the sun rose your soul would be property of hell. Right after Zoe had awoken, she asked if everyone was back, and Madison had told her everyone but y/n. Even though Cordelia didn’t perform the spell, she felt like she was in her own personal hell. As sand kept dropping in the hourglass, she knew you had become stuck. She knew that you needed help. With a heavy heart Myrtle told her that you had to get back on your own. The only thing Cordelia could do was pull you into her arms and try to guide you out. When Myrtle had told her time was up, Cordelia felt your body fade away.
A piece of Cordelia broke that day. You were the light of her life. You were there for her whenever she was hurting, physically or mentally. When she had gotten attacked by the witch hunters, you were right there whenever she needed you, and when she swore she didn’t. You went out of your way to help her comfortably adjust to her new way of life, and that made Cordelia fall in love with you impossibly more. The day you two got married was the best day of your lives, and now when Cordelia sees your wedding photos, she breaks down. It’s a painful reminder that you will never be back.
The thing that instantly made Cordelia fall in love with you though, was your love for nature. You loved plants, animals, and always made sure every living thing was healthy. So, to honor you, she wears two frog rings; she also still wears her wedding ring because it would hurt too much to part with it. One thing that Cordelia absolutely loved about you though was your strength when it came to dealing with Fiona. You hated her, and when Fiona would spit hateful things at her daughter, you would be right there to defend your wife. It felt good to finally have someone stand up to Fiona and call her out for her nasty ways. This behavior, and of course Cordelia’s love for you, is what caught Myrtle’s attention. The red head instantly wanted to know who had Cordelia so enamored. So very early on in your relationship you met Myrtle. You two quickly bonded over fashion, food, and all things luxury. Cordelia couldn’t have been happier with you and Myrtle’s bond. A couple months after you had met Myrtle, she became a very important part of your life. The three of you spent many hours together at the coven, forming a bond.
Your death was hard on the coven. It was like the glue that held everyone together disappeared, and then Myrtle was burned at the stake. Cordelia was at the point where she didn’t want to go on anymore. Her wife and the closest person she’s had as a mother were gone. Thankfully though, Queenie, Zoe, and Misty were there to help Cordelia heal. And together they were able to heal the coven.
There isn’t a day that has gone by that Cordelia didn’t think about you. She saw you in everything, but eventually she just learned to live with it as best as possible. Going four years without you was torture, but Cordelia will never remember it. Because of the witches take down of Michael, a very special delivery will be made to the coven, and it isn’t just a new student.
2015
As Cordelia was getting ready to welcome a new student to the coven, the air felt lighter. She didn’t know if it was because of the new girl, Mallory, but she knew something was different in the air today. She finished her look by putting on her iconic earrings, and her frog rings to honor the love of her life.
After she welcomed Mallory to the coven, she realized that light feeling from earlier had returned. She knew she had met the girl before, but she just couldn’t place it. After concluding Mallory was the cause of the change in atmosphere, she took her to show her around the coven.
Following their conversation with Queenie, a mysterious, blinding light came in through the front door. Immediately Cordelia’s motherly instincts kick in, so she made sure Mallory was safely behind her. Getting herself ready to fight whatever threat was about to come through her door, never in a million years did she think it would be Nan, with you trailing in behind her.
If it wasn’t for the adrenaline coursing through her veins, Cordelia thought she might pass out from shock. With her mind working quicker than her body, tears instantly started pouring down her face. Once her body processed who was in the coven, she instantly sprang forward pulling you and Nan into her arms.
Feeling like your entire world had just shifted, you walked into the doors of the coven, your home. With a million thoughts running through your mind about your Cordelia, you were full of nervousness and excitement. Will she still want you? Will she even still love you? What if she met someone else? Pushing away these negative thoughts, you sheepishly walked through the doors to be greeted by your soulmate.
Immediately crashing into her arms, you were greeted with a face full of your favorite blonde hair. Cordelia’s sweet perfume instantly enveloping your senses. To finally be able to smell something sweet and not from hell was comforting beyond words. To be in your love’s arms after being stuck in hell for a year thinking there was no way out was the most amazing thing you’ve ever experienced.
“How can this be possible? How is this possible?” Trailing off on her last words, you just buried yourself in Cordelia’s neck.
The grip you had on each other was unbreakable.
“I never thought I would see you again. I never thought I would get out of there, but then Nan and Papa Legba showed up to guide me home.” Smiling at Nan on those last words, you just couldn’t believe you were actually home.
After Nan went back to Papa, you were left to stare at your beautiful wife. Quickly though, she introduced you to the new student. She seemed to be proud of the girl, and thankfully Mallory quickly left you two alone. You were amazed honestly because when you got stuck in hell, it was just you, Delia, Myrtle, Queenie, Zoe, Misty, and Madison at the coven. Your mother-in-law’s damage seemed irreversible if the wrong witch was the supreme, but this place was nothing like it was when you left. You looked where Mallory went and saw rooms full of young witches. Laughs and chatter filled your ears. This wasn’t the place you left, and there was only one person who was capable of fixing Fiona’s mess, Cordelia.
With a gasp you looked at Cordelia with wide eyes, “It’s you.”
“It is me.” With a chuckle she gave you the proudest smile.
Once again, you wrapped your arms around her but remembered something that was vastly different about Cordelia since the last time you saw her.
“Y-your eyes are back. You can see!” Jumping back, you cradled her face in your hands. Staring into her intoxicatingly loving, Earth-like orbs, it was like you were truly seeing the growth Cordelia has had.
“Well, the Supreme does have to have radiating health,” Said with a smirk, Cordelia couldn’t believe you were actually home.
Instantly pulling one another closer, your lips smashed together in a teeth clashing kiss. A kiss that was full of desperation and so much love. Your previous fears were long forgotten.
Pulling away for air, you saw Cordelia’s hands, “Lia the frog rings, are they because of me?”
“Yes, they are for my love.”
With the idea instantly popping into your head, you took one and put it on your hand, “There, now we match.” Cordelia once again pushed her lips to yours because she is being reminded of why she loves you more than anything.
Once you two had separated, the excitement of showing you around the coven and how much has changed filled her.
“Y/n, I can’t wait to show you around the coven, introduce you to all the new witches, and show you to Zoe, Queenie, and Misty!”
“Oh, so I’m your show-and-tell?”
With a scoff she playfully hit your arm having missed your banter and snarky remarks.
“Wait you didn’t say Madison?” Coming to a halt, you realized she left out the name of a fellow witch.
“Kyle killed Madison after you died, because she wouldn’t bring Zoe back to life,”
Looking at her completely shocked with this new information, Cordelia caught on to your confusion.
“A lot has happened since your death. I’ll make sure to catch you up.”
“Jeez if that was only one day, I can’t wait to hear the rest.” Laughing with Cordelia, you let her guide you around the coven. You could clearly see a lot had changed while you were in hell. The coven was blooming with witches trying to reach their full potential. You always knew of your wife’s dream to help confused, scared witches, and you were so incredibly proud and happy for her. This is all she has ever wanted, and she finally has it.
When your friends saw you, they all decided it would be a good idea to pile on top of you and Cordelia. Sitting on the floor, laughing with your favorite people, you were so glad to be home.
While you didn’t know this, Mallory was smiling at you all from afar. She didn’t know if Cordelia, or anyone else, would eventually remember the events of the apocalypse. She didn’t know what the road ahead would carry for you and Cordelia’s relationship considering how much her supreme has changed, but she knew you two had a very strong connection that even four years in hell couldn’t break. She also didn’t know how you would react when you find out about what happened to Myrtle. She knew it would be really hard on you considering she saw how close you two were. She truly didn’t know what the future held, but one thing she was sure about is that having you back was the best thing that could have happened to not only Cordelia, but the coven.
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sirrwritesalots · 4 years
Text
Dance With Me? ~ Spencer Reid (fluff)
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Pairings: Spencer Reid x Reader [Y/n] Warnings: none, just fluff, and possibly mention of PG-13 (if it's even considered that?) Summary: The team is invited to an FBI gala-type event with food, music, and casual conversation, and everyone ultimately has a good time, especially you and Spencer, who find the chance to have a dance with one another as the air shifts between the two of you. [The imagine is set with all characters -Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss, Jennifer Jareau, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Penelope Garcia- and post-Maeve] Word Count: 1871 A/N: I love to write, but for the last few years, I’ve had horrible writer’s block, and I miss writing so much. This is my first imagine/creative writing thing I’ve posted on Tumblr, so bare with me please! I recently started watching Criminal Minds again, and this just popped into my head, so I figured why not? Though, Criminal Minds is not usually my genre, I wanted to give it a try (it might be cringy in some parts, I apologize). I hope whoever reads this enjoys it :)
Seeing as everyone on the BAU team was given a three-day-weekend off to have somewhat of a break, you all agreed to attend the FBI Ball Saturday night, giving you the day to relax and get ready.
That morning after you woke up, you had some breakfast and read a book by the window, followed by lunch and a nice, relaxing bath with rose oil, bath salts, and a lit candle. Once the water had gone cold and you were done with the bath, you decided to start getting ready for the plans you had later that evening, which consisted of blow drying and styling your hair, then applying some light - yet natural - makeup. Slipping into the dark blue evening dress with the strappy, laced-up back you picked out two weeks ago, you looked yourself up and down in the full-length mirror in your room with a smile on your face. It had been a long time since you had the chance to get dressed up and have a night of fun with friends, which is exactly what you were planning on doing; having fun. 
Work had been extremely stressful lately, for everyone - more so than usual, considering your line of work; being in the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI, where you work with serial killers day-in and day-out. One case in particular was rough on everyone; picked by the team’s communications liaison, JJ, you were flown out to Omaha, Nebraska to find an unsub who had a wide victimology and almost no similarities when it came down to location or anything else. You were there coming up on two whole weeks, when, after spending nearly forty-eight hours awake studying every detail, Spencer had found a similar signature connecting each murder. It wasn’t previously detected because it was so small it was easily overlooked, that is, until Derek and Rossi revisited every site and concluded that Spencer was right. At each location where a victim was found, a trinket of some sort was hidden, left behind as a sign of remorse. At first it made no sense, because each killing seemed too extreme to leave any room for remorse, not until the idea of a partner in crime was bounced around. Meaning that there were now two unsubs, one who was the alpha that controlled everything, and a second who most likely lured in the victims but only because they were told to rather than because they wanted to. Luckily, all the trinkets had traces of the unsub and their partner’s DNA left on it. That discovery soon led to tracking the unsub and chasing him down, where you and Emily went into the building first, to try and appeal to and reason with the submissive unsub, and would ultimately save the life of their latest victim. The plan went sideways when you two were met with the wrong one, and stepped into the middle of a trap... The unsub wanted a trade - the final victim for the two FBI agents - but the rest of the team, including the police force backing them up, were not about to have that. In the end, everyone was extracted and brought back to the precinct, except for the second unsub, who lost their life in the midst of the fight. 
To say the least, the team needed a break, and to have some fun.
Adding the final touch to your look -- a pair of black heels -- you grabbed your purse and jacket before locking the front door behind you and making your way to the car.
Once you were at the venue, a valet took your keys and parked your car for you. You stood on the curb, looking up at the gorgeous entrance of a high-end hotel. Before you could think about how all-out the bureau went, a familiar, deep voice spoke up on your right, “Damn Mama, I almost didn’t recognize you.”
Turning, you came face-to-face with the most iconic duo of your team, Derek Morgan with Penelope Garcia standing beside him. Your cheeks flushed as you smiled, “You don’t look too bad yourself, hot stuff. Penelope, sweetheart, you look as wonderful as ever.”
“Please, I don’t think anyone here looks as good as you.” She waved her hand, a dismissal to your comment as she noticeably gawked at you.
“Why don’t we find out. Shall we?” You raised an eyebrow at them, tilting your head in the direction of the hotel.
“We shall.” Penelope disconnected herself from her chocolate thunder, and looped her arm with yours with a giggle as the three of you entered the building and followed the signs to the ballroom.
Tables filled with assorted foods line one wall while tables are scattered throughout the front half of the room, a live band played against the back wall, and the floor of the other half of the room was left unoccupied by furniture to leave space for dancing and mingling. You mentally thanked the event coordinator, whoever they might be, for ensuring the lights were dimmer than usual, since it gave your eyes a rest from the usual harsh office lights. 
Your eyes scanned the room, searching for the rest of your team, when your gaze landed on a man wearing a slick, dark gray suit and a maroon tie with his hair flopped perfectly over his forehead yet just out of reach of his eyes. You hadn't realized you were staring until Penelope had to practically drag you to where Emily and JJ were standing while Derek split with you guys to meet up with Rossi, Hotch, and Spencer.
“So, is anyone looking particularly yummy tonight?” Penelope asked Emily and JJ, bubbly before her first drink of the night as her eyes eagerly swept across the room. Typical Garcia. Gotta love her, though.
You laughed and shook your head. “I’m going to get a drink, anyone else want a one?” The girls gave you their requests, and you were off to the bar stationed near the wonderful display of food that you were sure to raid in a matter of time - that is, if your stomach had any say about it. "One-"
A voice interrupted you and finished your order before you could get more than a single word out, "Gin martini with a lemon twist." A smirk formed on your lips as you see who was standing next to you. "Oh! And chilled, but not on the rocks," Spencer added with a wink in your direction, a goofy smile plastered on his face to match your own.
"Spence, you remembered!"
"Y/n, I have an idetic memory; of course I remembered."
You rolled your eyes in response and ordered for the girls before you forgot as the bartender handed you your drink. "So, how's your evening so far?"
"Good. Met a couple of Rossi's friends, one of which was an older woman who touched my arm a lot, though I don't know why..."
You chuckled and shook your head. "Oh, you poor innocent boy."
"Innocent?" He raised an eyebrow at you, faking offense, as he helped you carry the drinks to the table the girls were standing around. "Are you so sure about that?"
"Why shouldn't I be when you make comments like that?" you countered. "Alright," you announced, cutting the conversation short before it can lead to anywhere presumptuous in front of company, you name off the drinks as you and Spencer place them in front of their respective owners.
Spencer took his place by your side, his arm pressed against yours and his gaze fixated on you, waiting patiently for you to notice or make another comment from your earlier conversation. The girls hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary, seeing as you and Spencer had become the absolute best of friends in a short amount of time when you first joined the group, which meant the two of you were in very close proximity to one another about ninety-percent of the time. They were also too busy to notice over their ogling of the other attendees.
"You're staring," you murmured over your glass to him as you took a sip of your martini before stealing a quick glance up at him, then returning your eyes back to the crowd forming in the room. Rossi, Hotch, and Derek were still nowhere to be seen from your spot.
"Sorry," you heard him whisper, his eyes still stationed on you for a moment before he looked around as well. 
The live band began to play one of your favorite songs by Frank Sinatra, Fly Me To The Moon, and you couldn't help the smile that brightened your whole face after you took another sip of your drink.
The warmth that accompanied Spencer when he stood as close to you as he had been suddenly disappeared, making your heart unexpectedly quicken in a mix of worry and disappointment at the loss of contact. Then, when a throat cleared, and you saw him still standing next to you only a little farther away than he originally was with his hand extended and a lopsided smile on his face as hope flickered bright in his eyes. Your anxiety calmed, and was replaced with joy.
"Care to dance?"
Taking his hand, you stepped closer to him and replied, "I'd love to," as he led the two of you to the dance floor.
There, he pulled you closer to him, your bodies pressed against one another, as his hand slid behind you to rest easily on the small of your back while his other hand held one of yours, and your other hand took place on his shoulder. The two of you swayed as the music filled your ears.
You felt content in that moment. So happy with your friends, music, and food and drink. You couldn't think of a better way to spend an evening during your weekend off. Hopefully you wouldn't spoil it all by accidentally drinking too much and either a) managing to somehow embarrass yourself before the night is over or b) having to nurse a killer hangover the next morning - the last day of freedom before being called back into work the following day.
You felt Spencer's eyes on you once more. Though it wasn't creepy or unsettling; with him it never seemed to feel that way. Instead, it warmed your body, making your cheeks flush and your chest flutter.
"You're staring again." When he refused to take his eyes off you, you forced yourself to meet his gaze. "You seem to do it a lot. Why is that?"
"Possibly because you always look amazing. Except tonight; tonight you look... radiant."
"Oh, please... you're only saying that because you've never seen me all dressed up like this before." You dip your head rest on the side of his own in an attempt to hide your face, not from embarrassment, but rather to hide how red your cheeks had become in a mere matter of seconds by the few simple words he uttered.
"No, I'm not. Y/n, look at me, please." His voice was gentle yet serious as his fingers gently guided your chin up so you could properly look at him. "I mean it."
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takaraphoenix · 3 years
Note
Ofc I'm excited for the new chapter phoe, I am so starved for Jason content that even the suggestion that I'm going to get some (esp QUALITY Jason content like urs) makes me unbelievably giddy and I'm fr checking my phone to see when it's gonna be update time in ur timezone 🥺✨
Oh gosh, you're so sweet. Your messages always delight me a lot and since Jason took kind of a backseat today in favor of the build up of the secret reveal, yooou get a small, Jason-focused flash-forward into their future. ;) also because I actually have time to write again fdklghaöklh
--
Sky-blue eyes were large as they quickly flew over the words in front of him. His mouth was in a small oh-shape as he absorbed every little bit of information that was given to him. And then it just ended.
To Be Continued...
No, no, no. That couldn't possibly be! This was too exciting, it couldn't just end like that! His sister next to him made a squealing sound as she also reached the ending. She grabbed the comic book out of his hand and tried turning the page, hoping against hope there would be more.
"No, no, no," she whined frustrated and threw herself back onto the bed.
After a moment, her brother mirrored her. The two groaned and whined until their current babysitter walked in, a frown on his face. He brushed hazel-hair out of his face.
"What's gotten into you lot?"
"The comic ends, uncle Tyson! It just ends! And the next issue won't come out until next month, but it just got really, really exciting!" he heard his sister complain.
"Grace is right! This isn't fair. Cliffhangers are unlawful and inhumane!"
Tyson laughed and approached the bed to sit down between his niece and nephew. "I think I gotta talk to your parents about your definition of unlawful and inhumane, Jacky."
Jackson huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, pout in place and sky-blue eyes dark like a brewing storm. When it darkened in the room and rumbling could be heard from outside, Tyson frowned concerned and cleared his throat.
"You guys do know that you could just... ask your parents, right? They were right there. They know exactly how all of this unfolded," offered Tyson.
He took the comic-book - issue 13 of The Adventures of the New Olympians - and closed it to hold up the cover, where Jason di Angelo was standing heroically in his Blue Lightning uniform, fighting a giant space-octopus. Jackson frowned and turned to look at his sister.
"I dunno", admitted Grace. "Dad is like... dad. Not Blue Lightning. Dad sings bad old boyband songs in the shower and steals daddy's blue cookies and baby-talks to Mrs. O'Leary."
"Yeah. These comics are totally fiction, uncle Tyson", agreed Jackson seriously. "Dad's a total dork, not a superhero! He isn't like daddy and papa."
Tyson huffed a little at that, fond smile on his lips. "He isn't now. But when push comes to shove, he always got our back in a fight. Because he could never bear standing aside if his family gets hurt. Go and ask him about it, mh."
"Tyson? Where are you?", called his wife from somewhere else. "Jason is here to pick up the kids!"
"Ah, your cue, pipsqueaks", Tyson grinned and ruffled both their hair.
Grace quickly grabbed her Wisdom Warrior doll, while Jackson took the comic book, both kids quickly running out the room and downstairs. Grace just lept off a few steps before the end of the stairs, jumping straight into her dad's awaiting arms. Jason was smiling softly, hugging her tightly. Her blonde curls bounced as he whirled her around once.
"Hey there, kids. Had fun with uncle Tyson and auntie Ella?"
"Ye--es", chorused Jackson and Grace.
"Thanks for watching them, guys", Jason turned to offer Tyson and Ella a small, grateful smile. "With Perce and Nico still in Canada about that... maple syrup fuled robot apocalypse... it's been kind of stressful. And then Thabi got into trouble at school and-"
"No need to explain, or to thank us", assured Tyson, patting his brother-in-law on the back. "That's what brothers are for, Jay. We got your back. Besides, we love those two."
With a last smile aimed at the couple, Jason herded the twins out of the house and toward the car. He made sure their seatbelts were fastened before he got in the driver's seat and started the car. In the rear-mirror, he could see the twins whispering with each other, but neither speaking up. He decided against asking, for now. They'd tell him whatever was on their minds when they were ready.
Once at home, both of the kids ran off to their rooms and Jason was so busy with things around the house that he nearly forgot about the kids' strange behavior. That's what they got for having a ridiculously big house and stables, but then again, they did need the grounds to allow their companions enough space to roam free. He'd just finished feeding Tempest and Blackjack when the twins suddenly stood behind him, serious, matching frowns on their faces.
"We have come to the agreement that we should ask you", declared Grace.
A nine-year-old with pigtails had no right to look this serious. Jason smiled a little at that, nodding and waiting for more.
"We know that daddy and papa are superheroes", continued Jackson as the three headed back toward the house. "But you aren't! You're just... dad. Right?"
"Ouch", Jason huffed out a little laugh. "Just dad, huh?"
"I mean, you're normal, like us", corrected Grace with a frown, motioning at the posters at the walls when they entered the living room. "You're only a hero on the big screen! Not in real life!"
The smile on Jason's lips turned more nostalgic. His dorky, dorky husbands had decided to plaster every wall that wasn't filled with family pictures with posters of his movies. Right now, Grace was motioning very decidedly at The Twelve Tasks of Hercules. Hercules was his most popular role, a fictional superhero clearly supposed to be the son of Zeus but never actually name-dropping Zeus in the movie series. Or the spin-off TV show. It had spanned a whole cinematic universe about fictional superheroes after they had introduced Theseus, a water-powered superhero who was a thinly veiled homage to Percy, in one of the movies. Theseus got his own solo-movie, then a sequel and over the years, they had established more and more heroes in this universe. Jason was so incredibly proud of it, not just because he played the hero who started it all, but because he was also creatively involved; he had pitched the character of Theseus.
Sitting down on the couch, he let his eyes wander just a little. A poster of his first big breakout role as Jace Herondale in a TV show adaptation of The Mortal Instruments... naturally, Percy had chosen the poster where Jason posed shirtless, showing off the runes.
"What do you want to be when you grow up?", asked Jason softly.
"I wanna take over granny's bakery", declared Jackson with a puffed-out chest. "I'll learn all of her recipes and become the best baker in all of New York."
"I dunno, dad. I'm nine", huffed Grace with a pointed look. "Maybe I'll become a great fashion designer like auntie Silena! Or a teacher like auntie Annabeth. Or president. Or astronaut. Oh! Or doctor."
"Okay, okay", Jason interrupted her, laughing. "But neither of you wants to become a superhero like your dads?"
The twins exchanged a silent look before shaking their heads and Jackson answered. "No. It looks scary. It looks cool to watch but I'd be super scared."
Jason nodded slowly. "But if Gracie was in danger, like really, really scary danger, what would you do?"
"I'd help her!", exclaimed Jackson immediately, grabbing his sister's hand.
The smile on Jason's lips grew some. "Being a hero is really, really scary and really, really dangerous. And I never-ever wanted to be a hero. I'm not as brave as your dads when it comes to that. But when there is something very big and dangerous that your dads can't handle on their own, I'll put my own fears aside. Because you know what is just... so much scarier than being a hero? It'd be if something happened to your dads. And I couldn't help."
He knew their kids were under no illusions; they knew Nico and Percy led dangerous lives and they knew something could happen to them. Nico had already been hospitalized for a longer period of time a few years ago.
"So when they really need me, I'll be very brave to help them."
"So... So this is really real?", asked Grace softly, holding up the comic-book.
Jason snorted a little at the extremely overdone hero-pose he was striking on the cover. "It's... more or less real. There's some... made-up stuff there, because those who write these comics, they only had the news coverage to go by, they weren't actually there when we met in private and planned and talked. But yes, that happened."
Jackson straightened up at that and took the comic from his sister to open it on the last page, putting it down on Jason's lap and very decidedly pointing at the To Be Continued in the lower corner.
"How's it end!?", asked Jackson eagerly. "We don't wanna wait!"
"Ye--es! Did you save the day? Did you rescue daddy when he got abducted by the alien octopus?", wanted Grace to know, eyes large.
Laughing to himself, Jason leaned back against the couch and opened his arms, both his kids immediately snuggling up to him and eagerly awaiting the story. Jason wasn't the greatest story-teller in the family, Piper was the author, but he did his best to actually tell the story as exciting as possible. He talked and talked for over an hour and by the end of the story, both twins were deep asleep. Asleep on him, not giving him a chance to move from the couch either. Though he was tired too, so he closed his eyes, just for a second.
"I'm de--ead", groaned Percy softly and something shifted.
Jason blinked sleepily, turning his head toward the source of the voice. His face lit up when he saw Percy snuggled up to Grace from behind. When he turned toward his other side, he saw Nico behind Jackson.
"I'm sorry we were both gone, amore", whispered Nico as he leaned over to kiss Jason sweetly. "It was an all-hands-on-deck situation..."
"You don't have to explain", Jason smiled faintly. "You're the leaders of the Olympians. They rely on you. Especially now with all the newbies, they need your guidance."
"Yeah, but we promised you we'd step back some", Percy sighed frustrated.
"You can't control when a weird Canadian wants to start the robot- apocalypse", Jason chuckled amused. "I'm proud of you both. And you have been stepping back a lot."
Percy hummed in agreement, eyes slowly closing as he rested his head on Jason's shoulder. Within moments, he was out cold. So the entire family was going to sleep on the couch today, mh?
"How did your meeting go?", asked Nico, sounding sleepy.
"Good. I mean. Really good. The studio is still so stubbornly thinking that female superheroes won't sell, but we finally pushed through. We got the Helen of Troy spin-off greenlit", replied Jason with a puffed out chest.
Nico smiled at him, kissing his cheek. "Good. I'm proud of you."
And then he yawned and snuggled closer to Jason. It filled Jason with warmth to just sit here, with his husbands and children, in their home. Safe and happy. Yes, he worried for Nico and Percy when they were out there, but he also knew that this was their dream and they loved their job. And ever since the twins had been born, the two really had stepped back, leading from the headquarters and training new heroes, only going out themselves if it was an emergency and the others needed help. Jason couldn't be mad about that, wouldn't want to be either, because he could never resent his husbands for living their dream - they had, after all, always supported Jason and his dream. Even when Jason would be in another country for months filming a movie, they never complained, they took care of the kids and were proudly at his side during the premieres.
"I love you two", whispered Jason, carefully kissing the top of Nico's head on one of his shoulders and the top of Percy's head on the other. "My heroes."
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xtoothless · 3 years
Text
One Match
This is my first TommyInnit / Reader one-shot. Second POV and you play Cake-Wars with Tommy, Tubbo, and Wilbur. 
Pairing: You/Tommy
Word Count: 3,707
Summary: You play some Cake-Wars with a couple of your comfort streamers :)
Ao3 Link
---
[TommyInnit is Live]
You clicked on the notification from Twitch so fast you thought you broke your mouse. It was 4 pm in your hometown of Elkhart (1), Wisconsin. School had ended a few weeks before for the kids, including for you; your Junior year. You were to be a Senior next year, your last year of high school. Most everyone was outside enjoying the weather of mid-June, the warm sun lighting the fields where kids played and adults watched or played along. It seemed like everyone was outside enjoying the sun. Except you.
You were in your room, watching a live video from one of your comfort streamers; TommyInnit. The 17-year-old British blonde from the UK. Like most, you never had any bad days when you watched his streams. Whenever you did have a bad day, it seemed like one of your comfort streamers knew and hit that "Go live" button. 
Tommy was playing Minecraft with a couple of his friends - a couple of your comfort streamers - WilburSoot and Tubbo. They had just started a new survival world, to see who could speed run the quickest. 
The chat on the side of the screen exploded with their answers. A lot said Tommy, others said Tubbo, and a fair amount said, Wilbur. You thought they were all very good at the game but considered it was down to either Wilbur or Tommy. Wilbur was the calmest about it, being quick but also taking his time. Tommy was a ball of chaotic fury; trying to be quick but stressing about beating the game.
"Wha- How the fok does Will already have diamonds?" Tommy screamed, trying to get his character to mine the iron in front of him. You smiled at the screen as he joined Wilbur's voice channel to yell at him.
"Well, Tommy. You just- you just gotta get good at the game." Wilbur's voice said through Discord. 
Tommy leaned back, his mic quieting the sound of him groaning in annoyance, "Ughh, fok off, you little- you know what?". He left Wilbur's voice channel and went to Tubbo's. 
"Tommy?" Tubbo's small voice echoed through the channel.
"I say we team up against Will." Tommy started, making his character jump out of the cave and mine more spruce wood from the mountain he was on, "Look- he's already got diamonds m'kay, let's work together." 
It took a second to hear Tubbo's reply. "...okay?"
"Great. Do you have any iron?"
As they all continued to play, you left to use the bathroom and grab snacks. On your way down the stairs, you rubbed the warm back of your black and white kitten (2) that was sitting on the windowsill. Once out of the bathroom, you check the kitchen cupboards for any snacks.
You found a bag full of fruit candies, caramel suckers, and some off-brand chocolate bars. They were technically your fathers, but he wouldn't notice if some were gone. You grabbed a handful of each and a can of Coca-Cola that was in the fridge. You then ran back, your kitten following up the stairs. 
Once you were seated, you continued to watch the stream with your kitten purring in your lap. Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo were all trying to fight blazes in the Nether. Tommy already had 4 blaze rods, while Tubbo had 1. 
"Tubbo, kill that blaze-" he then screamed in fright as his character caught on fire, "Foook! There's one behind. Dammit Tubbo." he then laughed as Tubbo also screamed in fright.
You laughed as you turned to your second monitor and loaded up Minecraft. Your computer loaded it up fairly quickly, given that you were also watching the stream that took a ton of internet to watch. Given that, you decide to play CakeWars. As you joined the round, you looked at the stream as all three made it to the end. 
They all teamed up and were trying to fight the endermen and the ender dragon. Your attention was on your own game that you didn’t realize they had killed the ender dragon and were now declaring victory. Tommy took all the credit as Wilbur laughed. Tubbo giggled and then hit Tommy’s in-game character with his own. 
With that, they decided to play servers. More specifically, the same server you were going to play CakeWars in next. You failed to notice when your screen flashed with the red lettering, “Your cake has been eaten.” 
"Dammit!"
Your teammates tried their hardest to stay alive, but unfortunately, the Yellow team was stronger with their armor and weapons. As you tried to run away, one threw an ender pearl and teleported in front of you.
Using your iron sword, you tried to defend yourself, but their diamond enchanted sword dealt more damage to your leather and iron armor; you died after a couple of hits. You groaned in frustration as you quickly hit "new game". Your kitten got up and sat by your monitor, staring at the loading screen before you pushed him toward his bed.
"Hopefully my teammates are better next round." 
You joined a new game, too focused on that to see that you were on the same server as Tommy, Wilbur, and Tubbo. The game started saying that you were part of the blue team. You looked over at your teammates and read their names. It took you a second until you recognized Tommy's skin and the name "TommyInnit" over his head. "Oh, my god." You looked at your other monitor and saw that Tommy was looking at your character (3). 
"Hello, [Your Username]." His character punched toward you and crouched a couple of times. 
"Hi!" Tubbo's character punched toward you too. 
You crouched back, punching at all three. Wilbur nodded up and down, crouching all the same. You typed into the in-game chat and typed only to your team. "I'm honestly kinda freaking out right now, ngl."
Tommy read it out loud before laughing, "Oh, there's nothing to be afraid of. I see you're a woman- you all know how much I love women." 
You heard Wilbur sigh and Tubbo laughed from the stream as you replied with, "Yes, Tommy, we know how much you love women XD."
He read it out loud and laughed, "I like this one. Hey, [Your Username], do you have a discord?"
Your hands began to shake and get clammy as you read it over a couple of times. As you collected your bricks to upgrade, you typed, "We win and I'll give it to you."
Tommy ran over to the villager selling things for bricks as he read it, "Okay, guys, we need to win. If we do, I'll talk to a girl!" 
That made you laugh, as you covered your cake with endstone and blue wool. The chat on the side of the screen exploded with "Women POG", "TommyInnit talks to a woman???", and - your personal favorite - "Tommy simps over a probably 6-year-old". You laugh out loud as a dono pops up, talking in a robotic voice. 
"Tommy, that could possibly be a young girl. Maybe you shouldn't hit on her?" 
Tommy stumbled over his words as Wilbur and Tubbo laughed and agreed. To save him, you type, "Don't worry chat, I'm 17, thanks for looking out for me though X'D". 
As the game progressed, your team had two emerald points, endstone, obsidian, and blue wool covering your cake, and all members decked in diamond armor and a diamond sword. The other three teams were fighting each other as your team collected and planned your attack. Tommy and Wilbur were going to attack the middle point while you and Tubbo guarded your cake. 
They set off as you and Tubbo collected the bricks and emeralds beside your cake. The two of you just crouched and punched at one another until they came back. Tubbo continued to laugh on stream and Tommy questioned what was going on.
"Me and [Your Username] are just crouching at one another," Tubbo responded, laughing as you jumped and punched at him. 
As you leaned back and closed your eyes laughing, you heard footsteps in your headset and quickly grabbed your mouse. A red member in full leather and an iron sword was running toward your cake. You appeared in front of him as Tubbo finally realized and screamed quietly. In a couple of hits, he died, barely taking away three of your hearts.  
"Tubbo? Tubbo, what happened?" Tommy asked, panic in his voice. 
"There was a red team member attacking our cake. But [Your Username] attacked 'em." Tubbo explained as they got back to their island.
Wilbur came up and jumped in your face, punching at you, "Good job, [Your Username]"
"Thanks." You typed, then another message, "I have a feeling we're gonna win this, but I don't wanna jinx."
You heard Wilbur laugh, "Don't worry. Let's just let the other teams fight and then join later." 
"Yeah, we can sweep up what's left of them!" Tubbo agreed. 
You nodded in-game, collecting the nether stars below you. As soon as you reached 10, you upgraded your resources. You also wanted to get protection but then the green team had taken the middle point. 
"Here you go [Your Username]" You heard Tubbo say through the stream. You crouch in response as a cluster of nether stars were thrown at you. 
Soon after, Wilbur and Tommy did as well. "Let's be honest, [Your Username] is more responsible - other than me, of course," Tommy said.
"Then why don't you take them?" You typed into game chat, challenging the blonde.
The other two laughed as Tommy stood in front of you crouching, "Okay, fine. Given 'em back bitch." 
"Because you called me a b****, I'mma keep them." You said, walking over to your ender chest and putting them inside. You looked at Tommy and crouched once before covering your cake with more wool. 
"Way to go, Tommy, you made her mad," Wilbur said, crouching, having his back to you. 
You laughed once more, falling back into your seat before typing, "I'm not mad, just playing." You retrieved all 12 of the nether stars and upgraded your protection twice. 
As you turned around, you saw a green member - decked in diamond armor - bridging toward your island. You race to the edge and crouch, punching in their direction. They looked up and punched at you, as three more green members also in diamond armor appeared behind him. 
Tubbo alerted the other two and they all crouched at the edge, sword in hand. You clicked on your bow and shot an arrow at the first player. The ringing of a hit echoed through your headset as one got hit back. 
The one you hit looked back up before his teammates switched to ender pearls. You back up, guarding your cake as you watch the green eye fly through the air. 
You ignored the screams of the others on stream as you focused on one green member. They turned as you hit them a couple of times in the back. As they took off around your island, you ate a golden apple and chased after them, cutting them off and landing another blow. 
They turned and tried to hit you, but didn't realize how close they were to the edge and fell. You turned your head to see your teammates fighting off the rest of them. Tubbo was losing a fight by a player who was continuously eating apples. You ran over to him and hit him. Distracted, he tried to fight you but Tubbo's blade had killed him. 
"Thanks [Your Username]!" You heard Tubbo say as Tommy stopped screaming. The rest of green had fled or died. Wilbur had said nothing during that all while Tommy's mouth never seemed to shut. But you've been watching Tommy for so long, it didn't bother you; if anything, it made you laugh as you fought. 
Wilbur's voice echoed through the stream, "Everyone good?" 
Tubbo and Tommy said "Yes", while you nodded in-game. Your cake was never harmed, so you didn't need to rebuild. All your teammates were fine, other than Tubbo was missing more than half of his hearts. 
You all collected emeralds that were still popping out from the ground. Everyone was stocking up on ender pearls and golden apples, roughly a stack of blue wool and arrows. As you closed out of the menu, you heard the sound of breaking blocks as the game said, "Everyone's cake has been eaten." 
Tommy gathered you all around and said some "inspiring" words, "It's just 3 Red, 2 Green, 2 Yellow, and us left. We are the largest, therefore, we should be able to win this. Besides, we are probably the best PVP-ers in the whole match." 
"Don't get too cocky, Tommy." You typed to them, crouching and uncrouching once. 
Tommy laughed and then shrugged on camera, "Well, he's always cocky." Wilbur’s response came through. 
"Hey, you fooking- never mind. Let's attack yellow, they're closest." Tommy said, before turning back to you and Tubbo.
You nod as he led the three of you down the one-block road and to the middle point. One yellow member in iron armor was trying to capture the point from red but panicked when they saw you coming. You ender pearled in front of them and started your attack. They got distracted with you that they couldn't fight off Wilbur from behind. 
"Let's goooo!" Wilbur yelled, running down the three-block path to Yellow's island. The last person panicked when they saw the charging diamond armor and tried to ender pearl away. But the ender pearl hit the side of an island and they fell to their death. 
"Now I feel bad." You quickly typed into game chat. 
"Nah, there's nothing to feel bad about, it happens," Tommy responded to your message. "Now, let's attack Green." 
The four of you charged forward as Red and Green were fighting. Tubbo yelled out and you all stopped. "Let's wait to see how this plays out." He said as you agreed. 
For the next few minutes, you watched as the red team shot at Green as they tried to bridge across. You kept looking around, always cautious if another player tried to scare you. 
A green player got knocked off their bridge and the other was attacked by a red who threw an ender pearl. "Okay, [Your Username], shoot at them to get their attention. You guys ready?" 
Once everyone said they were, you looked down and started building up while crouching. As soon as you got about 8 blocks high, you selected your bow and aimed at the nearest red. You heard the ringing of the bell as the arrow hit them. They all turned to look at you as you started to dig down. An arrow whizzed past your ear as another hit you, making your character fall 6 blocks. 
Your teammates all stood in front of you as the red team came charging. Eating one of your many golden apples, you started to regain health. 
Wilbur fought one Red member with an enchanted diamond sword and enchanted diamond armor. Tommy attacked one member in full enchanted diamond armor and sword, who was building up, which reminded you of Fortnite building. Tubbo and you attacked the last one you was full enchanted diamond armor and sword. Your team had protection 2, but no sharpness on your swords. 
All the sounds around you were swords swinging, characters jumping back from being hit, and Tommy's screaming coming from the stream. You hit the Red member repeatedly, while Tubbo stood back to heal. 
You were down to about 6 hearts, your armor protecting most of your body. Trying to get away quickly, you started to build up; you were dangerously close to the edge. Making sure your character was okay, you started to shoot arrows from above. 
However, you didn't see the Red member who was fighting Tommy ender pearl up and shoot an arrow at you. "[Your Username]! Look out!" Tommy yelled as you were hit. 
Your character fell off the pillar and down toward the abyss. Having only a second to react, you quickly hit your ender pearls and threw one at the pillar. It connected and you teleported. You quickly placed a block underneath you, surviving with 3 hearts. 
"Ohhh! Oh my god!" You screamed as you ate two golden apples. "Holy shit!" 
As you hit 8 hearts, you joined the battle. Tommy was on 2 hearts and was being chased. You ender pearled behind him and attacked the Red member. Tommy must have had gotten him low because you hit him with two swings and he was dead. Tommy stopped running and saw you. "You're alive??" He seemed shocked. 
You crouched a couple of times, nodding. "You gotta tell me how later."
You nod once and turn to help your friends. As you returned with Tommy behind you, you saw that Wilbur was fighting one off and the other had just knocked Tubbo off the edge. You heard him scream as he fell. 
The red member saw you and quickly ate a golden apple as you charged him. You managed to hit him a couple of times in a row and his character got punched off the edge. At the same time, Wilbur had just killed the last Red member. 
You heard the "Let's goooo!" from the stream and jumped up and down. 
You quickly pulled up discord and got your information before pulling up Instagram on your phone. You found Tommy and opened a chat, sending him your discord. All you had to do was wait for him to open it. 
You also added next to the link, "Wait till after stream." 
As a new game was 20 seconds from starting, you realized that Tommy was talking to you. He wanted you to join another game with them. Of course, you agreed and you all selected the green team.
A couple of hours went past and it was getting later and later. The sky outside darkened and you heard your parents coming home from work. You were an only child, so no siblings were trashing the house with their stuff. 
Your kitten kept sitting in front of your screen, watching the particles in-game. You accidentally let the yellow team eat your cake and then died trying to defend it. Wilbur has just died as Tommy and Tubbo ran for their lives. 
But unfortunately, they had to succumb to defeat and Tommy had to end the stream. As he said his goodbyes to chat, you closed out of the stream and stared at your phone. You waited for it to go off, but it didn't. Not until then minutes after. 
When it eventually did, you were on your PC playing Overwatch. The match had just ended, so you checked. It was a discord text from TommyInnit.
You calmed your inner panic before opening your phone. You accepted his buddy request with no hesitation. Another message went off and it had one single word. "Call?" 
At that very moment, you heard your mother shout out to you. You turned back to your phone before responding with, "Yeah, sure, just give me a minute."
Your mother wanted you to eat dinner; which was macaroni and cheese with chicken nuggets (4). You took a plate to your room and set it down on your desk, watching your cat. He seemed to ignore you but you knew he was waiting for a moment when you're not looking. 
You opened your phone and typed in your chat that you were back. Almost a second after you sent it, you were getting a call from Tommy. You accepted the call and said, "Hello?"
"Okay, well, hi- sorry, I really want to ask. How the fuck did you pull off that bow and arrow kill earlier?" You heard his voice on the other end. He seemed nervous but also knew exactly what he wanted to say.
You laughed, "Well, I've always been good at archery. On video games, of course, not so much in real life." 
"Hm, archery. That should be my next vlog- but anyway! How did you survive that first round? I saw you fall. Was it lag?" 
"Nope, I had ender pearls. I just used one quickly. To be honest, I was as surprised as you were. I was not expecting it to work." You responded as you picked up your cat who was trying to sneak over to your food. 
As the two of you talked, a smile never left your face. You two laughed like you were old friends greeting each other for the first time in years. You kept battling your kitten, which entertained Tommy. You talked until it was 9 pm in America. You previously found out from school that it was a 5-hour difference between the US and Great Britain.
"Wait, wait, wait, Tommy? Isn't it like 2 in the morning for you right now?" You asked after he hummed. 
"Uhh, no- wait, yeah, yep, yep, it is. That explains why I'm so tired-" he started laughing which in turn, made you laugh. 
"Ugghh, I should probably go to bed." He yawned midway through his sentence. 
You nodded, although he couldn't see you, "Yeah, you yawning is making me tired." 
"Oh, I'm sorry, well, it was nice meeting you [Your Name], and um, maybe we can play sometime soon." You heard him say.
"Yeah, it would be fun.” You said, “I would love to play some more sometime. I’m sure you can find time in that “Busy schedule” of yours.” 
You heard Tommy laugh from the other end, “Well, I mean, I’m not that busy. But we’ll see. Don’t tell anyone, but more vlogs are coming soon, so, I’m pretty busy this week.” 
“Alright, I won’t keep you up too late. Goodbye Tommy, it was nice meeting you.” You said. 
“Yep, you too. Goodnight!-” he ended the call as he dragged out the last of his sentence. You leaned back in your chair and looked at the ceiling, a smile on your face. That day was one of your best days.
You were definitely looking forward to the next match you would play with TommyInnit.
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bestofblackwidow · 3 years
Text
The "Let me go - it's okay," she told him the last time we saw the Black Widow, it was - to say the least - emotional. "Let me go - it's okay," she said to Hawkeye, plunging to her death on the arid planet Sleeping in Avengers: Endgame for the ultimate sacrifice to save the world. While the deaths in the Marvel Cinematic Universe go on - sorry, Iron Man - there was probably no more heart-stopping moment, since the former SHIELD spy who became Avenger gave her life to recover the Soul Stone.
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Still, it left the MCU in a bind. For years, a Black Widow film had been mooted, right back to 2004 at Lions Gate Entertainment before the rights reverted to Marvel. When Scarlett Johansson first appeared as Natasha Romanoff - the former KGB assassin with a very particular set of skills - in 2010's Iron Man 2, it didn't take long before questions were asked about a solo outing. Marvel Studios conductor Kevin Feige even held discussions with Johansson, who was then only 25. But there was a caveat, he said. "The Avengers comes first."
While others - Thor, Captain America, Black Panther and even Ant-Man - had their moments in the spotlight, the Black Widow was forced to wait. And wait. And wait. Not that Johansson thought that her character demanded the same treatment; if she was going to be in front of a Marvel movie, there had to be a reason. "Is there anything exciting to do creatively, as an actor?" she says. “Will we be able to do something extraordinary and strong? And something that stands on its own? "It's what makes the independent Black Widow an intriguing prospect: an inauguration of Phase 4 of the MCU promises to step back in time before her dramatic death to answer the provocative questions that still hover over her Crucially, the script transports audiences back to the events right after Captain America: Civil War, after that huge internal confrontation of the Avengers.
Without relatives or an organization that employs her, the Black Widow is alone, says Johansson. "It gave us the opportunity to really show her when she's kind of out of her game, you know? Because of that, anything was possible." The actress was there "from the start" at the script meetings, as they began to figure out how to delve into Romanoff's origins. "You are trying to map all of this ... which is extremely stressful," she laughs, "because there are no guidelines."
Fortunately, Johansson was not alone. In another inspired choice for the MCU canon, Feige recruited Australian director Cate Shortland, best known for discreet dramas like Somersault and Lore. While she was surprised, Shortland was encouraged by the creative freedom that Marvel was offering. “They allowed me to be myself and encouraged me to make a movie that I was passionate about,” she says. "We were allowed to have a lot of nuances and make a character-oriented film."
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After several Skype sessions with Johansson, who also receives producer credit, Shortland worked with a Russian researcher to embody Romanoff's dark story: "the red in my ledger", as she told Loki in 2012 in Os Avengers. As she sings in the trailer, "We have to go back to where it all started" - the promising teaser clips of Romanoff as a young man (played by Ever Anderson, daughter of Paul WS Anderson and Milla Jovovich) in a childhood that seems far from idyllic. That's what makes Black Widow a family reunion of the kind that only Marvel would have the courage to conjure. Joining Romanoff is Yelena Belova, a sister-sister and fellow murderer who trained alongside her in the so-called Red Room, the punitive Soviet facility that produced 'Black Widow' spies.
"Their stories intersect," promises Shortland. "They clash." Played by Lady Macbeth's British star Florence Pugh, Belova is more than a physical match for Romanoff. Still, emotionally is where it really matters. "What Yelena does is kind of point to Natasha's pain," says Pugh. “She is part of Natasha's story. And I think that's why we have an opportunity to look at Natasha's story, because Yelena has been knocking on the door and says, 'Hey, let's deal with this pain. ”As Johansson comments, Belova is not just a carbon copy of his own character.
"She is completely alone. She is strong and different. She is so different (from) Natasha." Beside them are Melina Vostokoff (Rachel Weisz) and Alexei Shostakov (David Harbor), two father figures whose own stories intertwine with Natasha and Yelena. "This is the coolest thing with this whole group of people. They all had parts of their past that they regretted," says Pugh. “They’re older. They’ve had more life experience. They know more about the system, about this world they’re all living in.” Harbor, the Emmy Stranger Things nominated star, managed to put an indelible mark on the muscular Shostakov, better known as the Red Guardian super soldier, the Russian equivalent of Captain America. "There is a gangster quality to him," the actor smiles. "And he's covered in tattoos. He's got a beard and those gold teeth. He's crazy." But after years of making bad decisions, he's also full of remorse.
"He's in a bad situation," adds Harbor. "And he needs redemption." Weisz's character, Melina, is another who experienced the rigors of the Red Room, a place that put her in contact with Natasha and Yelena. Marking his first dive at the MCU, Weisz acknowledges that the film addresses the idea of ​​discovering his favorite family. "It's definitely about finding out where you belong and where you came from, and what your background story was, and who you really are, and what matters to you - your ideology, I think." Along the way, Feige made reference to The Kids Are All Right - the 2010 Lisa Cholodenko film about a same-sex couple raising two teenagers. "Which is so weird," laughs Johansson. "You would never expect that from a Marvel movie." no it was the only strange nod to the film. Harbor speaks of Shostakov in terms of Philip Seymour Hoffman's drama teacher in the dramatic black comedy The Savages.
Or even expressing "the pathos of a small town, independent, family-run, weird movie... like Little Miss Sunshine". More understandable cinema references include "things like Logan and Aliens and The Fugitive," says Shortland. "We saw movies like that." Certainly, it's easy to see comparisons between Sigourney Weaver's determined Ripley, from James Cameron's masterpiece Aliens, and Johansson's Romanoff, an Avenger who has no superpowers. "We saw it as a force," says Shortland, "because she always has to dig really deep to get out of shit situations." According to the director, everyone in the production invested in deepening Romanoff - even Scottish composer Lorne Balfe (Pennyworth, His Dark Materials), who replaced Alexandre Desplat's original choice. Balfe looked at the character's origins, says Shortland. “He said, 'I want to put it on the ground, because it has been dug up in the movies in the past. I want to give her that flesh and blood. 'And he created this soundtrack that is really Russian."
However, perhaps the real blow here is to recruit Shortland, the first female director to face the Black Widow (and only the second, following Captain Marvel co-director Anna Boden, to enter the MCU). "This film would not be what it is without Cate Shortland," says Pugh. "I think having her eye, and having her mind with this script, has taken her to a whole different realm." Johansson agrees. "" You can feel it was made from a female perspective ... cooked there. "Although Ray Winstone's casting as Supervisor of the Red Room Dreykov (whose daughter contributed to the abundance of red in Romanoff's book, according to Loki) add more to the psychological battleground that the Black Widow will explore, it also deals with victimization, a very pertinent topic in the current climate. The Red Room itself is where trainees are brutally sterilized. "You will see that these women are hard working and strong, and they are murderers - and yet they still need to discuss how they were abused," says Pugh. "It is an incredibly powerful piece."
Judging by the 2020 Oscars, where Pugh and Johansson had their own private relationship session on the red carpet, the two actors got along very well. "She has a really beautiful career ahead of her ... she's a very special person," says Johansson, excited when Pugh's name is mentioned. More specifically, Pugh may well have more Marvel to chew on, if it is rumored that her character will take on the 'Black Widow' mantle for new adventures. By learning Parkour, kickboxing and knife fighting for role, Pugh can safely cut things physically, though she's reluctant to claim that the Black Widow is just a setup for future outings. "Even though it is obviously where everyone wants to go and want to think - think about what comes next - this film never really seemed to be what he was trying to underline." According to Johansson, however, test the audience who saw the film thinks otherwise. "Her character and her performance are so dear." Now, after more than a year of pandemic-related delays to July 2021), it will not be just a few lucky spectators who will be able to see. Black Widow will even be the first Marvel movie to debut simultaneously on the Disney+ streaming site (with a 'main hit' fee), an understandable move considering the uncertainty that still exists around the world. And in fact, after the success of the Marvel TV shows WandaVision and The Falcon And The Winter Soldier, it doesn't seem like such a strange home. Johansson believes that fans will respond to Black Widow, with this flashback of an earlier part of her life, bringing more poignancy to the Endgame's outcome. "Our goal was for them to be satisfied with this story; that maybe they could have some solution, I think, with the death of this character, in a way. It seemed like people wanted this." Shortland agrees. "We felt that we should honor his death," she says. And the Black Widow will surely honor him.
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hibisha · 4 years
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Hello, a friend of yours said you might be able to recommend some radiodust fanfics, and it can be anything im not picky
RadioDust fanfics you say? Alright *cracks knuckles* here we go.
1.) The Charismatic Cannibal’s Guide to Self Care
Rating: E
Summary: Alastor chuckled around a hand. Angel would never get over how shark-like he could look. Fangs were the norm here, but Alastor’s had a certain animal quality that fit strangely in a humanoid face. Too big and too many. And right now they were tinged with a hint of red from his choice of drink.
“So what,” he said, “would liven up the place for you, sport?”
You might assume that Angel Dust is the bad influence in every situation. You would be wrong.
The Radio Demon has plans for Hell, and plans for Angel. And they aren't pretty.
Will contain gore/cannibalism/murder and plenty of fun, bad people. Please read the tags and content warning. Plot now, smut to follow.
Personal thoughts: It only one chapter so far but I really like the premise.
2.) Their Arrangement
Rating: E
Summary: Alastor and Angel Dust have come to an agreement after Angel pushes the Radio Demon's buttons a little too far and inadvertently awakens the long forgotten urges buried under decades of bloodlust.
Personal thoughts: One of my literal favorites. Alastor and Angel’s evolving relationship from sex friends to ‘oh shit I have feelings’ *chef’s kiss*.
3.) Absolute Territory
Rating: E
Summary: Angel Dust is an absolute terror for Absolute Territory.
Alastor never knew he had a thing for stockings until Angel decides to flaunt a pair, matched with a pleated skirt and an oversized sweatshirt.
Personal thoughts: Have some good ol’ smut.
4.) Heart Between His Teeth
Rating: E
Summary: So maybe there are better things to life than being drugged and fucked so hard you can't even think for yourself.
Personal thoughts: OMFG. I CAN NOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS FIC.
5.) Angel Dust’s Not So Illustrious Life
Rating: T
Summary: Alastor isn’t sure why he’s become Angel’s primary target, but the more he attempts to dissuade Angel’s advances, the more fervent they seem to become.
And maybe Alastor likes that...maybe...Yet it seems there’s more to Angel than innuendos and a quick romp.
Personal thoughts: I kinda love this fic a lot where Angel and Alastor respect each other’s boundaries.
6.) Caught In His Own Web
Rated:E
Summary: "So when the devil wants to dance with you, you better say never. Because the dance with the devil might last you forever."
Redemption is hard when you don't want to do it. Redemption is even harder when a certain Radio Demon keeps enabling your sinful behavior.
Personal thoughts: My favourite trope, bad people being worse together.
7.) I Thought I Knew You 
Rated: M
Summary: Angel Dust can't ruin the hotel's reputation if he can't go outside. Or, at least, that's what Alastor says. Of course, it's all a ploy to torture Alastor's least favorite spider demon, but maybe he doesn't know Angel Dust as well as he thinks he does.
Personal thoughts: I really like this one especially since it feeds into my “Alastor is a dick in all AUs.”
8.) Sex, drugs and radio host
Rating: E
Summary: For some ungodly reason, Alastor decides to keep Angel safe and sound - meaning no sex, prostitution and certainly no drugs. Of course, this wild idea is met with more than a little resistance. But... no one ever cared if Angel was safe. And sometimes, all he would like is a hug. Sex sure is nice, but he is more than willing to explore the possibilities.
The trouble is, it doesn't seem like Alastor is offering anything specific. Keeping things strange and vague is not helping, especially when a new guest catches Alastor's attention.
Personal thoughts: Its cute and theres feelings involved is all I’m saying.
9.) Gentleman's Wager 
Rating: None
Summary: Sick of listening to Angel Dust's crass and vulgar language, Alastor makes a bet with him. If Angel Dust can remain absolutely silent for one whole week, he'll give in and kiss him.
Personal thoughts: *inhales* JVKJGCHJCHJCVJHVJHGCJHCJHCGFD I LOVE THIS SO MUCH PLEASE READ IT.
10.) Triggered 
Rating: None
Summary: Angel Dust had never really thought too much about the static hum surrounding Alastor wherever he went... until now anyway.
Personal thoughts: It's a very good fic about ANgel dealing with PTSD. Def check it out.
11.) Dinner and Drinks 
Rating: None
Summary: Alastor and Angel Dust can barely tolerate each other and Charlie seeks to fix that.
Personal thoughts: Again, a slow development of Angel and Alastor’s relationship.
12.) You Do Something to Me 
Rating: T
Summary: Alastor's radio signals go both ways, and for the past few decades he's tuned into the most beautiful voice. What a surprise to find the source in the Happy Hotel right under his nose.
A relationship that grows through music.
Personal thoughts: AGAIN, PLEASE READ THIS IT IS CUTE HECK AND WILL CLEAR YOUR SKIN. Also, its part 2: No One Knows Anything But Us 
13.) 1932
Rating: M
Summary: The 1930s are the for perfect time to nurture any up-and-coming radio host or serial killer alike. Alastor is no exception.
Set in New Orleans in 1932, Alastor is living his best life. Broadcaster by day and home chef by night, he's learned that Jumbalaya is best served with a side of human liver and a still beating heart. That is until he brings the wrong meal to his table, a member of the Italian mafia, and ends up biting off more than he can chew.
With his latest meal escaping the table and his identity running the risk of being found out, Alastor faces his biggest hunt yet. The streets of New Orleans are his forest and this time, it's his head on the platter.
AKA Alastor screws up and now has to fix his mess in Dixieland while balancing his day job, cannibalistic hunger, and learn how to be a decent human being for once along the way. Should be fun.
Personal thoughts: I absolutely adore this fic. Please give it a shot.
14.) Contracts and Deals Series
Rating: E
Summary: Angel Dust, Hell's number one porn actor.
Alastor, Hell's most renowned overlord.
The two cross paths.
Angel makes a deal with Alastor to get out of his contract with Valentino. One thing leads to another.
Personal thoughts: It’s a good series that eventually gets really fluffy.
15.) Good Management
Rating: M
Summary: Alastor thought he had Angel Dust filed away into his niche box in the Hotel. He was wrong. But he's a good enough manager to fix his responsibilities.
Personal thoughts: Its AngeliaDark. You know it’s good.
16.) Anything for you
Rating: M
Summary: Valentino faces the consequences of hurting someone that Alastor deeply favors
i.e. Val fucking dies
Personal thoughts: Any fic where Val dies is a good fic.
17.) Predator and Prey
Rating: M
Summary: Every couple of years, Angel Dust goes through a change that makes him a lot less tolerable to be around, for many more reasons than one. The staff of the Hotel are about to learn that the hard way, none more so than Alastor.
Personal thoughts: Okay so, slight dubcon, would recommend checking the tags before going into it. Though I love how it tackles on the story of Alastor being a deer which is technically a prey animal and Angel being the predator for once. Absolutely love it.
18.) Good Tidings 
Rating: T
Summary: A Christmas party in Hell isn't the big selling point for the Happy Hotel (For Hazbins), but Charlie feels that the holiday season is just what her friends need to open up to and help one another.
So what better way to do it than with a Secret Santa?
When Angel Dust draws none other than his crush, the Radio Demon, he knows he has one shot to not eff it up.
Personal thoughts: Really fluffy, a good read. Highly recommend it.
19.) Vanilla Bean
Rating: T
Summary: Alastor decides to try his hand at pet names and inadvertently offends Angel Dust. Rated T for swearing and there's suggestive content if you close one eye, tilt your head, and squint.
Personal thoughts: Okay so i loved this one because of how badly these two handle communication.
20.) For Auld Lang Syne, My Dear
Rating: M
Summary: Alastor's solitude is interrupted by Angel Dust who has just escaped a rough client and the two spend the last moments of 2019 together.
Personal thoughts: Love love love this. I just love Angel and Alastor dancing together okay.
21.) I Like It Better When I'm With You 
 Rating: M
Summary: Angel deals with feelings. Alastor deals with feelings. Just a whole lot of pining.
Personal thoughts: Summary says it all.
22.) Technical Difficulties
Rating: M
Summary: The hotel is running relatively well. Relationships between Alastor and the rest of the staff are budding surprisingly smoothly. And then the rainfall starts up, threatening all of it.
Alastor's out of tune.
Personal thoughts: I love how this is written. Slowburn but worth it.
23.) Lurking in the Shadows 
Rated M
Summary: 5 instances where a curious and head-over-heels shadow follows Angel Dust around and 1 time where Angel decides to follow it instead.
Personal thoughts: It’s very cute how Alastor’s shadow pines after Angel.
24.) Crossroads
Rating: M
Summary: A mafioso’s and a murderous radio star’s paths collide in New Orleans in the winter of 1933.
Personal thoughts: OKAY SO I REALLY LOVE THIS BECAUSE HUMAN AUS ARE MY JAM AND THEN ALASTOR AND ANGEL BEING TERRIBLE HUMANS TOGETHER IS EVEN BETTER.
25.) Needle Through a Bug
Rating: E
Summary: Angel wakes up in a hospital after a party. His doctor is very strange, worryingly so. Still, he can't help but be intrigued.
Personal thoughts: Doctor AU. Alastor is insane. I love it because Alastor manages to be as creepy as possible while saving lives.
26.) My Roommate's a Demonic Deer 
 Rating: M
Summary: Don't you hate it when you "accidentally" summon a demon to fix a problem within your home, only to find out that they don't do that, so now you're stuck with a cannibalistic demon that constantly tracks blood onto the floor, brings other unholy beings into your apartment, and makes amazing jambalaya? It's amazing insanity!
Personal thoughts: Lmao I love demon summoning gone wrong so this was really an amazing read. Angel being a true himbo is always the best.
27.) Human Hazbin Roommates AU series
Rating: E, M
Summary: A series of porny RadioDust one-shots depicting modern human AU roommate life.
Notes:
Glimpses into the human lives of insufferable roommates.
(AKA This was supposed to be a practice at writing present tense smut and it devolved into sex and feelings)
Personal thoughts: Dive in for the smut, come out with the feels.
28: Darker Side of Hell series
Rating: E
Summary: Follow Charlie and later Alastor as part of my Story for the Hazbin hotel... It ain't pretty, so enjoy!
Personal thoughts: Not everyone’s cup of tea so i suggest reading the tags but I really love this series a lot. Angel being awkward and in love is the best shit ever. Its an amazing series.
29.) Scorched, Uninhabited, Rejected
Rating: M
Summary: When Hell suddenly loses all working functions, and angels start dropping from their overhead perches to attack the underworlds population, Charlie has no idea what to do before she's suddenly face to face with a Archangel. Though something, clearly, isn't right about the air the angel assures her to keep those who are dear tucked tightly by her side as the disaster struggles to fix itself.
But nothing is as it seems, Overlords' powers are dwindling and even her own is becoming strained as she struggles to protect her beloved hotel and friends from the Exterminators outside.
Personal thoughts: *vibrates* Can’t say much without spoilers so I’m just gonna beg ya all to read this.
30.) The Thin Line
Rating: None
Summary: Studies say it takes fifty hours of interaction before you consider someone a casual friend and two hundred to be a close friend. Alastor and Angel Dust manage to skip right past close friends to something more without either even noticing they've crossed the line.
31.) La Vie En Rose
Rating: G
Summary: Alastor learns that Angel is afraid of thunderstorms, and Angel in turn learns about the Radio Demon.
32.) falling 
Rating: M
Summary: "You're hot as fuck, be my boyfriend."
That was perhaps the worst thing he could've possibly said from that standpoint.
A college setting where Angel gets suddenly awful at flirting when it comes to the face of his crush, a cute library assistant that goes by Alastor.
Personal thoughts: COLLEGE AU COLLEGE AU. 
33.) Old Habits Die Hard
Rating: G
Summary: Angel decides to bring back a little habit of his after having a rough time.
Personal thoughts: Hella soft, please read.
34.) Handwritten 
Rating: None
Summary: Alastor imagines Angel must be lonely in heaven, he writes to keep him company.
 A series of letters addressed to Angel.
Personal thoughts: Hi, do you like crying into your pillow at 2 AM? You do? The look no further, this is the fic for you! Now, with extra heart wrenching feels!
35.) Relapse and Recovery
Rating: T
Summary: Going clean was never going to be easy, but easy was something Angel Dust never expected going into this anyway. At least he has a good support system to help him along the way.
Personal thoughts: I just really like AngeliaDark’s fics okay.
36.) Catalyst
Rating: T
Summary: All couples have their downfalls, and an event that should have been celebrated only drives Alastor and Angel Dust apart.
Personal thoughts: Love love love this. It’s very well written, reads easy and you’ll feel fluffy for days.
37.) Dinner Date: A RadioDust Tale
Rating: E
Summary: Angel Dust finally finds a way to get Alastor to agree to a 'date'. After all, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
Sometimes literally.
Personal thoughts: One of my favourite stories about RadioDust.
38.) This One's Dedicated to [static interruption]
Rating: M
Summary: A couple of years since the hotel's opening, the residents have settled down into a fairly tolerable routine. Recently, some of them have begun experiencing peculiar symptoms which become more noticeable as time passes. To his dismay, the Radio Demon finds that he is not immune.
A chance encounter with Angel Dust propels the two demons together as they attempt to answer what's behind the unusual phenomena, while rediscovering all the things they thought dead and buried along the way.
Personal thoughts: Slowburn but definitely worth it. I love the story and how it’s progressing with a certain mystery surrounding the whole plot.
Also slight self plug I guess:
39.) 14 ways to say “I Love You���
Rating: T
Summary: Just a collection of small drabbles I’m writing on based on single word prompts.
Please check it out if you’re a fan of odd AUs.
Wowee, that’s a lot. I’m gonna call it a night and say that’s all for today. I hope you enjoy these! 
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