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theminecraftbee · 3 months

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okay so. hear me out. but. au concept--

joel is one of many people affected by a Vanishing. its a phenomenon sweeping the country--people simply not showing up for work, school, life one day, as though they've vanished from the face of the earth. it's almost possible to mistake for normal missing persons cases, if it weren't for the way a few of the higher-profile Vanishings have happened to people who shouldn't have been able to vanish at all, let alone in a way that wouldn't be noticed until too late. look at joel's hometown. the people monitoring the dam were supposed to be redundant, and yet--

anyway. not like he cares or anything, except for the fact this stupid disaster or whatever has left him without anywhere to live or anyone to live with, and he still has a year of high school left, so he can't just do whatever he wants. luckily there's this school in a town called new hermiton that agreed to give him a scholarship to finish his education in the name of recovery and solidarity or whatever, and it's kind of a shwankier school than he'd normally go for, but it's free and, more importantly, they're willing to pay for his lodging, and he can't really turn that down. and it's not like he has a choice but to upend his entire life now. so packing what few of his belongings survived into a bag and getting on a train and moving across the country to a new school it is, he guesses.

(he's been having nightmares that inexplicably feature swarms of blue butterflies. last time he checked, lakes don't have butterflies in them. although maybe it's a metaphor or something, on account of the butterflies saying stupid stuff about how people who are remembered can't disappear, and even a false world cannot be erased if it's watched over, and how fate depends on him holding people in his heart. thanks for saying the same stupid shitty platitudes his social worker told him, just more cryptically, butterflies. real cool.)

new hermiton, it turns out, is a small city. while new hermiton academy is a newer school, much of the city is older. he's moved into a nice enough flat in an older apartment building. he has another cryptic butterfly dream. he thinks he remembers someone trying to urgently warn him of something, but it's all... shaky. that morning, he goes to the school for the first time. he's greeted by a fellow transfer student, skizzleman, although apparently he already knows some of the other folks in town, and transferred here so he could stay with them. but it's at least someone else in a similar enough situation to joel, especially since joel can just tell by the way people are looking at him that skizz didn't have much of a choice but to be here, either, and best friends with impulse or not, he's on his own too.

so. a friend. maybe this school won't be that bad, even if joel keeps having nightmares, and even if the weather here is weirdly cold for july, and even if his new homeroom professor keeps on looking at him really weirdly. (aren't professors supposed to be better about stupid rumors anyway? what's that mr. hills's deal?)

and then, two days later, he waves skizz off at the end of the school day, and gets skizz's friend, impulse, at his door, desperate to hear that skizz had just come to stay the night in joel's shitty lonely apartment, because otherwise it looks like--come on man. joel's already having a shit time. the universe deciding to go after his one existing friend too? he promises impulse to help investigate that night, in the vain hope that Skizz isn't one of the Vanished. joel gets a splitting migraine trying to follow their path back, though, and they have to stop for the night.

skizz is reported missing the next morning. joel resigns himself to cutting himself off from the people around him, as per usual. then, strangely, mr. hills corners him as he goes home.

"you'll need this," he says, and shoves what feels like a cheap butterfly knife into joel's hands. "uh, remember, trust your heart! you'll know how to use it."

"what," joel says. "hold on. you're supposed to be a teacher. why are you giving me this. i know for a fact my file says i have like, ptsd or whatever, which is stupid, but you definitely aren't supposed to be giving me a knife, you weirdo?"

"you'll know how to use it," joe hills says again. "goodbye! believe in yourself!"

mr. hills sprints behind a building before he has to explain anything else. joel is left standing on the sidewalk holding a knife, staring after him.

so. that's weird as hell. joel shivers in the cold and continues on his way home. the butterfly knife feels heavy in his pockets. he should probably report that guy to his social worker or something, but actually talking to his social worker feels like conceding defeat. joel can take care of himself. he can prove he can take care of himself. just watch him. step one: go out to get ramen because he forgot to buy any food for his apartment.

he sees impulse putting up signs as he eats. impulse looks miserable. joel thinks about how skizz, just in the short time he'd known him, had sort of unintentionally given away that he felt isolated after his mother Vanished. that impulse was a great friend, but impulse didn't understand what it was like. he never really SAID as much, but--

it's not fair to impulse, for that to be the last thing impulse remembered of what was apparently a friend since childhood. and joel doesn't care about any of these guys, but he can still pay his check and go out and help impulse go looking. he's no good at comforting people and doesn't know this guy, but joel had been alone too, sitting on the roof and crying, when the helicopters came.

except when they go back to the path by the school, joel's head starts to hurt again.

he looks up and there's a butterfly.

"hey, impulse, are butterflies common here?" he asks, a little desperately.

"i mean, not really, why?" impulse says.

"uh," joel says, and gestures. the two of them stare as the strange yellow butterfly circles in place.

"okay, so that is kind of weird," impulse admits.

"right?" joel says. "the only way it would be weirder is if it were blue." impulse gives him a look. joel does not explain.

it starts to fly away.

"we should follow it," impulse says, his voice getting a little dull. "yeah. we should follow it."

"what? no! no we should not follow the haunted butterfly, are you nuts?" joel says, but it's a bit too late. (maybe this is what the knife is for: stabbing impulse. it would be an effective method of stopping him!) he chases impulse down, down to the river, where yellow butterflies are swarming. impulse, as though possessed, simply steps into the swarm and falls through them to the water.

joel's, uh, freaking out more than a little bit? he'll admit he's freaking out. he dives forward to try to grab him, only to realize that he doesn't see impulse anywhere.

a single blue butterfly lands on joel's shoulder. "do you hold his heart next to yours?"

"i'm going insane," joel says.

"no heart is meant to be completely alone. do you hold his next to yours?"

"this isn't happening," joel says. "this is like a stupid manga or something. it's not happening."

"there is still time to save them; you must hold your heart strong, or the consequences will be dire. i believe in you."

the butterfly vanishes.

"fuck it," joel says. "if i drown then it's nothing people haven't expected of me anyway."

he steps through the swarm of butterflies.

that night, he drags both impulse and skizz out of the river. they're all freezing cold. shadows and strange, yellowy liquid still cling to all of their skin. also, joel stabbed himself, which like, glad to know that's what the knife was for, apparently, and the scar is warm and comforting. he can feel his--persona, and don't ask him how he knows that--shifting under his skin, under the mark on his hand. it said its name is pygmalion; it says it is a piece of joel's soul.

this is all patently insane. but skizz and impulse are alive and NOT eaten by shadow monsters, so even if they're both a little unconscious, joel takes that as a win.

they lie on the ground outside the river. someone stumbles across them. "well give me some teeth and call me an alligator. you got out on your own," breathes a fellow student clutching a dagger. joel thinks he's in the class across the hall. also--

"what are you talking about," joel wheezes.

"you found it on your own. you can find them?" the student says. his eyes are wide. something in joel's soul recognizes something in the student's. something in joel's BRAIN puts two and two together and realizes why mr. hills gave him a knife.

"no. no, go away, i don't want to be involved in this," joel says.

"well, don't you think it's too late for that?" the student says, and joel passes out. he's pretty sure the butterflies have to be laughing at him. in fact, as though to mock him further, after passing out, he doesn't even get to avoid it forever, because he wakes up in a glowing blue boat. there is a man with white-blonde hair, blue eyes, and a blue outfit leaning over him, poking him.

joel takes no responsibility for punching him. he'd do it again, too, as the long-nosed man sitting next to the unmanned steering wheel welcomes him to the velvet room.

(this, joel realizes later, all rather sets the tone for what the next year of his life is about to become.)

#hermitcraft #joel smallishbeans #smallishsona au #THAT'S RIGHT BABY ITS THE PERSONA AU I WAS WAFFLING ABOUT #because i'm playing p3re right now this is pretty p3 inspired but also expect elements of p4 (my fav) and p5 #i. do not know enough about p1 and p2 to be using all these butterflies but FUCK IT WE BALL.#a bee fic #KIND OF I GUESS I'LL PUT THIS THERE.#anyway the idea is that this au is half a crack au and half DEEPLY SINCERE #because the JOKE is that joel hates every minute of being a persona protagonist #but the OTHER bit is that joel is genuinely an extremely loyal guy who would do VERY WELL as a persona protagonist #you just have to drag him there kicking and screaming #(sort of in a very. p3-esque way)

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thelibrarian1895 · 2 months

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Bruce is the restraining bolt

Let's say that Bruce "dies" again. Tim, of course, figures it's another temporary thing and bonus he doesn't need to risk another organ to prove it this time. That being said, Bruce isn't around to stop them now. Dick doesn't feel the need to be the dad this time since Bruce will be back. He's the big brother, the babysitter at best. Jason has never felt the need to step up into a parental role for any of his sibs before and he's not going to stop now. Cass won't kill, that is her line, beyond that, she's not anyone's parent either. Tim is one bad day away from being a supervillain, he seriously needs a vacation but at the same time he needs something that will keep him busy or he will get paranoid (thanks B for the trauma) and so he's not going to stop anyone, Duke doesn't have the experience to know when or if he should stop any of his sibs, steph and barbara are staying out of it as while they are family they consider themselves cousins at best no matter what B says, and no one is going to let Damian boss them around.

That being established, B is gone, Alfred is fretting but not inclined to stop anyone anyway, the kids decide that while the bat is away...

When Bruce returns, Alfred is just returning from a spa trip his beloved grandchildren insisted that he go on since he deserved a nice break and they even investigated to make sure the spa wasn't a scam or front! While Alfred was gone and Bruce was "dead", all Black Mask's warehouses had been mysteriously destroyed with large explosions that Bruce had previously forbidden because he was worried about collateral damage since some of those warehouses were sandwiched by other storage facilities and places where people squatted. (Steph and Jason, both very affronted because they are professionals B! And yes, there were also glitter bombs involved, it made the fire extra pretty with the different colors).

Furthermore, Lex Luthor is no longer the majority shareholder of his own company anymore, that would be Tim now, and all of Lex's employees are rejoicing since they're all getting a pay raise that brings them from the legal bare minimum to not just a living wage but twice that plus benefits even for those who aren't full timers (which is basically everyone, lex never wanted to get benefits for anyone). Lex is also being investigated for embezzling, money laundering, domestic and international terrorism, and the trafficking of minors (kon). Lex chose a very bad time to make Kon sad and Tim took that personally.

Bruce also discovered that Tim's childhood home, aka the drake's old place next door for the given value of next door, has been demolished and that whole area is now a botanical garden and registered wildlife sanctuary. (Damian with assistance and permission from Tim since technically the land was in Tim's name, Damian persuaded Poison Ivy to help while also monitoring to ensure she didn't slip in anything detrimental and also breaking up the exotic animal smuggling ring that B had been trying to keep from him to prevent this very thing. Tim, in the meantime, just happened to have a number of people on hand more than happy to work in a botanical garden/wildlife sanctuary and no, none of those people were ever formerly ninja who answered to Ra's before realizing that Red Robin was a far better employer, why would you ever think they were?)

And of course, the Joker is dead. None of his kids are fessing up to this. If pressed, they will cry, even Jason, and say that they thought Joker killed their dad and they wished it had been them because they missed him so much! (It was Dick and Barbara, Babs faked the paperwork for Dick to go in as an orderly, Dick, in disguise, gave the Joker altered medication via injection and made sure to get some air bubbles in for good measure, official COD was a totally natural brain aneurysm, so sad, no autopsy needed, burn the body)

Duke was a bit of a wild card and ended up hanging out with Selina, picking up a few extra skills, and using those skills to break into various mansions and apartments of the filthy rich to steal back stolen art and artifacts and return them to museums in their country of origin so they can be enjoyed by everyone (he watched indiana jones recently and the "it belongs in a museum" popped into his head a lot, he did wear a particular hat while he was committing his heists) It was nice potential step mother and step son bonding time

And finally, Cass causes Ra's Al Ghul to lose a particular appendage, one that the lazarus pit hasn't been able to grow back for him thanks to a little consultation with Constantine beforehand. She then went to hang out at Themyscira and got some very pretty bracelets.

Bruce is thinking very hard about just turning around. He takes a nap instead and then he lectures his beloved nutcases about personal safety, the law, respecting what is essentially dibs on certain super villains, and all the other boring stuff he's tried to impose on them over the years.

#bruce wayne #batfamily #batman #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #signal #stephanie brown #duke thomas #alfred pennyworth #crack fic idea #cassandra cain #cassandra wayne

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happypeachsludgeflower · 2 months

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Concept: after Shang Qinghua lost his original draft, he said fuck it and wrote progressively worse and worse gibberish content for Proud Immortal Demon Way just to enjoy watching his favorite anti-fan, Peerless Cucumber, loose his shit.

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johnconstantinesdick · 3 months

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I get the criticism of the Hunters of Artemis from a narrative perspective—it sucks that it essentially boots interesting female characters out of the story—but it always baffles me when people viciously hate Artemis for *checks notes* doing damage control.

Like. Thalia explicitly goes with Artemis to avoid the prophecy, and I definitely think that’s the reason Artemis tried so hard to get her to join—hell, you can view the hunters trying to recruit Annabeth as a way to get Thalia to join. And Bianca? You can’t convince me that Artemis didn’t guess there was something up there and react accordingly.

If Percy or Nico were even a little bit girl-adjacent you bet your ass she would be all over them to join. No one actually wants to risk the Great Prophecy happening, and Artemis is doing a hell of a lot more to stop it than anyone else.

#riordanverse #pjo #percy jackson #Artemis pjo #hunters of artemis #crack fic idea: Poseidon and Zeus have broken the oath several times before Thalia Jason and Percy. Artemis has just been hauling ass across #the country each time it happens. they have been so fucking lucky that their kids have been girl or girl-adjacent so far.#Artemis gets her info from Apollo (who gets pinged whenever a new potential prophecy child is born)#the hunters weren’t at westover to hunt thorn or even recruit Thalia. they were ACTUALLY there because Artemis got a text from her brother #like ‘lol the di angelo kids are out of the lotus hotel’#and Artemis is like gods FUCKING damnit hades I thought we had an understanding #OTHER fic idea: Bianca joins the hunters in the 30s and Nico goes to the casino alone #OTHER OTHER fic idea: Artemis can tell people’s gender sometimes before they can and now she has to crack trans Percy’s egg before she turns #sixteen so she’ll agree to join the hunters and put the prophecy off once again.#anyway. this has been my defense of Artemis.#eli rambles #eli writes

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tcfactory · 3 months

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Broken System

I love it when the System breaks and gets shut down permanently, but what if it left its marks on its main user? Shang Qinghua won't be able to get out of explaining this even if he really, really wanted to.

#svsss #shang qinghua #I may or may not have a fic idea with this premise #one I'm holding onto for later TM #I need to finish some of my other ideas first #but anyway the idea was that one eye turns into something like cracked glass #if you have ever seen a fried marble it's kinda like that #he can still see out of it fine it's just weird #the cracks extending over his skin will eventually heal but not the eye #also the hairstick was just randomly stuck in his hair as a 'do not eat me' marker #because wouldn't it be funny if he was in the demon realm when the system died on him and left him with this mess #let's give MBJ something to fuss over #mun art

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incorrectbatfam · 10 months

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Help I'm writing a fic and I need ideas for a Z-list Rogue. Smth bad but gimmicky

Chalkduster, the Crime Alley nuisance who runs around pounding erasers in people's faces

Sparklewolf, the person who got stuck in their fursuit and turned to a life of crime to survive

Captain Gender Essentialism, the Republican who thinks men will grow ovaries if they use toilet paper

Stickytoes, the thief with sticky toes

Dr. Needler, a mad acupuncturist

The Arborist, a Poison Ivy copycat who plants trees in potholes

Mother Crunchy, the woman who uses her unvaccinated kids as bioweapons

Chewer, a guy who chews with his mouth open

Four-Eyes, a kid with indestructible glasses and appetite for burning anthills

The Radium Girls, an all-female gang of radium dealers

Light Yagami, a teenager who's weirdly obsessed with his notebook

Gerbil, the street racer in a giant plastic ball

Redditor, the dude whose opinion no one asked for

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minnesota-fats · 2 years

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So this is in the context of the bruce clone au I made a while back.

This is after the batfam find out about him being Bruce’s clone and he is staying in the manor for a bit cuz you know, family bonding.

And one light after so much sleep deprivation and coffee Tim accidentally called Danny “dad” which sparks a chain of events where the next morning at breakfast when all the fam is visiting Danny bust’s down the door and shouts, “IT IS I, YOUR UNCLE BROTHER DAD!” Which caused Tim the facepalm and everyone else to laugh (except bruce becaue he doesnt know if he should laugh or be mortified)

Some sinarios i have thought of, (with the help of @lompio )

—

Jason: oh crap, bruce isn’t going to like this.

Danny: don’t worry, your under parent supervision

Jason, shrugging: good enough with me!

—

Tim: we have to do something! But Bruce wont let us- Danny do we have permission to use the bat plain?

Danny, looking up from eating a box of cold takeout: wha-? Yeah sure!

Tim: thanks!

Danny: stay safe!

—

Danny: Damien, as your father I should tell you not to hold such petty grudges for small things. But as you BROTHER I say lets go get that lil’ bitches ass!!!

Damien: I take back what I said about this being childish.

—

Bottom line is: Danny is the dad only when it is convenient for him!

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frownyalfred · 8 months

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Bruce Wayne has never met a dick he couldn’t deepthroat. Clark Kent has an alien dick he’s hidden after years of disastrous attempts at intimacy. Together, they’ll answer the age-old question: is it gay if it’s for the pursuit of scientific data?

AKA, I keep writing fic summaries without actually writing the fic

#but now I’m tempted #bruce wayne #batman #dc #superbat #clark kent #superman #adopt this fic idea?#crack #fic ideas

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the-wandering-mage · 3 months

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I've seen a lot of Batfam meets the Justice League fics where Batman has hidden his family. I'd really like a Batfam meets the Justice League fic where he doesn't try to hide his family no. The Batman who loves scaring people, popping out of shadows, disappearing into them, and overall just fucking with people, the head of the chaotic Batfam, he knowing that the other heros don't know a lot of what goes on in Gotham so he just pretends like they know. He tells them it's Oracle's system that runs watchtower and he make a bunch of vague references to the other bats knowing they are going to take it a different way. He doesn't try to hide his relationship with the other bats when his kids and their teams run into the Justice League. He just sits back and watches the chaos as the leaguers try to make their perception of The Batman fit with what they are seeing.

And his kids and their teams? Well they should have believed them when they said Batman was they're dad. It's not their fault they thought they were joking. Even Alfred is in on it making calls to watchtower and Titan's tower about being home in time for dinner and forgetting their lunches at home. Alfred is happy how this is bringing them together and that Bruce is making friends.

Meanwhile the Hero community is scared shitless about Batman's retired dad that doesn't have a no kill rule. They've never met him in person but the overall respect of the Batfam has towards Agent A as well as the fact he raised Batman makes them never want to meet him or for him to feel a need to come out of retirement.

***

"oh Batman isn't the head of the Batfamily"

"what?"

"Agent A is"

***

"who's scarier than Batman?", one of the leaguers asks rhetorically

Batfam member who pops up behind them from the shadows, "Agent A, he doesn't have a no kill rule"

"who's Agent A?"

"The man who raised Batman"

The leaguer who once referred to him as that old guy that answers the batcave phone: 😨

#fanfiction ideas #batfam #batfamily fic #Justice League meets the Batfamily #the batfamily meets the Justice League #scary Alfred Pennyworth #perhaps you rely on my master's vow against lethal force I subscribe to no such niceties #scared justice league #fanfiction prompts #batman fanfiction #messing with the justice league as a form of bonding #messing with the titans as a form of bonding #chaotic Batfamily #Batfamily dynamics #isolated Batfamily #no body knows what goes on in Gotham #hiding in plain sight #crack fic

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