Iceland road trip
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Problem
Am I a bad person
or just badly broken?
I feel nothing
when I should feel love
or compassion
Am I the problem
or the problem lives in me?
I wrote this while in a period of total numbness, and I was conscious that this was not normal. I later on realised I was in so much pain that i was just shutting out my feelings.
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And, one night, you wake up at three am.
You are scared.
You feel lonely, lonely like never before.
You are restless in your bed, trying to find peace in your sleep again, but the sleep is gone.
And, you feel weird.
You feel incomplete, something or someone is missing.
You are in between day and night, between a fear and another, between being a child and an adult.
You feel like you are just an half.
But, darling, aren't we all just people caught in between moments of life?
marimeiastories
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I don't want to be in love with someone
I want to be in love with life
so fiercely
that I forget all the pain
and all the days in which I thought
I couldn't do it anymore
- marimeiastories
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I desperately look
for myself
in others
My bits and pieces
scattered
everywhere
I have to stop
I have to understand
that I am whole
and that is ok
to be alone
marimeiastories
I wrote this piece in a moment of exhaustion, when depending on others became unbearable and I realised I had to get my life together.
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Good vibes
a smoke
some guitar chords
fresh air from outside
good perfume
Maybe life is just
enjoying all of this
even if my heart is broken
Breathe in,
breathe out,
I am alive.
marimeiastories
I wrote this in that room I describe, next to that guy I mention, and his guitar. I wrote it because I realised you can still enjoy life even if you have your heart broken; in fact, you HAVE to. If you wait for it to be whole again, you might wait forever, while if you start enjoying, your heart might heal faster.
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I would like to tell you that I was browsing old CDs.
I would like to tell you that I found one by that country singer and I found myself picking it up to read the song list.
I would like to tell you that I did not find the song I was looking for, so I felt disappointed.
I would like to tell you that I realised what I did after I walked out of the shop.
I would like to tell you that I looked for our song on the back of that old CD, and that I did it without even realising.
I would like to tell you that I was outside that shop when I realised that there is still a bit of you in everything I do, even though I am not always conscious about it.
I would like to tell you, but I cannot.
marimeiastories
I wrote this years ago, while struggling to get over my ex partner. It felt like I would never see the end of the tunnel. Luckily, it was not true.
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Love
Between us
was not
love
it was
craving and needing
to feel alive
for me
and
craving and needing
to save me and the world
for you
marimeiastories
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I do not want to be in love with someone
I want to have a love story with life
so intense
that I forget all the pain
and all the days in which
I thought I couldn't do it anymore
- I am ready to heal
marimeiastories
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One brave decision can change your life. You do not need to be ready, you need to be brave.
marimeiastories
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Strong for real are the ones who don't run when life forces them to meet themselves
marimeiastories
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