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erin-bo-berin · 2 years

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hi erin! i have a little request and it just hit me like an epiphany- and yk when those hit and your whole mind becomes occupied with it and starts imagining scenarios- yea like that,, so in this little epiphany-request it��s a little angsty but fluffy and it’s if steve and reader had a messy break up that caused her to move away for college or something, probably after vecna when steve maybe started drawing himself closer to nancy and reader saw it, and maybe that night there was a big blow up argument and the six little nugget topic w nancy came up in it, and they break up. then reader makes a choice to move to college to get a hold of herself, and maybe a year later she comes back for the holidays ‘cause the kids and robin have been pestering her for a while, and when she comes back all the kids + robin, and eddie who didn’t die cause im not mean like the duffer bros, plan a movie night or something and steve hasn’t been told anything so he’s obviously upset and like “why are all of you going together without me?” and he’s arguing cause he’s a big of a territorial bean when it come to his kids, and then after a while max gets rlly annoyed and starts yelling at him for driving her big sister figure out of town and not letting them enjoy a day with her, and he kinda just goes mum because holy shit she’s back and he has half a mind to run to her house -that he drives past every day ignoring the pain in his heart- and beg for your forgiveness ‘cause you left. you left and he didn’t realize how badly he needed you- and idk if this makes sense but maybe when they see each other they just stare and go like the shy hi’s? bonus if reader kept a necklace or smth that he gave him cause he’s just staring at it and he’s gonna burst into tears I know it.

gasps because that made my mind breathless- and like all my requests this is very chaotic ‘cause my thoughts are like dreams, if I don’t pen them down I forget! and i hate that,, please ignore this if you don’t like it and congratulations once more on 5k!! your steve x single!mom verse changed the steve fics for everyone <3 🪐

Gah thank you! I’m really loving this request by the way. This is gonna be so cute and fluffy by the end BUT WAIT there’s gonna be angst of course!

This was just the perfect gif for this LOOK AT THAT PUPPY DOG FACE

All Roads Lead To You

Steve Harrington x Reader

Voices were raised, doors were slammed and hearts were broken that fateful night.

“I have eyes, Steve!” you shouted, “I see how you look at her!”

“Y/N, it’s not like that, I promise!” Steve pleaded with you.

“You told her you saw yourself having kids with her!” you screamed.

When his mouth opened and closed, unable to deny it, you laughed bitterly. Tears were stinging your eyes, but you refused to cry in front of him. He didn’t deserve your tears.

“Yeah. Nancy told me. At least someone has the decency to tell me the truth.”

You were angry and hurt. You wanted Steve to hurt as much as you were. You’d spent the entire week watching your boyfriend with his ex-girlfriend. There was still something there, as much as it pained you to admit it. A person would have to be blind to miss that.

“You’re still in love with her, aren’t you?” you whispered.

His eyes, looking as defeated as you felt.

“I’m with you though, Y/N.”

“That doesn’t answer my question,” you said, pressing your lips together in a tight line.

You were practically grinding your teeth to a dust to try and keep from crying. You weren’t enough for Steve if he apparently was still in love with Nancy.

“I don’t know if I am, okay?”

He threw his hands up in exasperation.

“It’s not like I’ve cheated on you! I never would!”

You knew he was right, but this was almost worse. How much lower can one feel when they find out that the person they love doesn’t love you the same? You told him just as much.

“But it’s almost worse, Steve. How would you feel if you watched me getting close to my ex again? Probably like a knife to the heart, huh?”

He was quiet again.

“You basically admitted you wanted to marry her!”

“I know, I know. It just…came out,” he winced.

“Oh that’s rich,” you huffed, “Let me just go find Eddie and profess my undying love to him while we’re at it.”

“That’s not fair and you know it,” he scowled.

“Well now you know how I feel,” you crossed your arms, glaring at him, “Not to mention she’s in a relationship too, Steve! How is that fair to her either?”

“I don’t know, okay? I wasn’t really thinking,” he said, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Be honest with me. Have you ever really be invested in this relationship or was I just a distraction from her?”

“How could you even think that? You know I love you!” Steve grimaced.

“It’s hard to tell anymore,” you frowned, crossing your arms, looking away from him.

Just when you thought he couldn’t shatter your heart anymore, he succeeded in doing just that.

“Maybe…maybe we should see other people,” he said, running a hand through his hair.

“Yeah. Maybe we should,” you replied bitterly.

That is how the best relationship you’d ever had came to a horrifying, heartbreakingly abrupt ending.

•

You ended up moving away for college after your split from Steve. It hurt way too much to stay in Hawkins, having to run into him.

You have no idea what happened with him and Nancy. She was dating Jonathan after all, but who knows? Not that you cared. You threw yourself into studying, into parties, into work, anything that would help you forget about Steve, forget about Hawkins.

Summer break was coming up soon and you still hadn’t figured out your plans yet. Your roommate had invited you to vacation with her and her family, but you hated to be an imposition.

One phone call changed your course though.

You were studying for finals and had come to a much needed place for a break when the phone in your dorm rang. Your eyes were aching and had began to cross from staring at your text books for so long. You sighed in relief, even grateful for a telemarketer at this point.

Leaning across your bed, you grabbed the receiver, bringing it to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Well, look who’s alive!”

You smiled at the familiar, teasing lilt of your friend Robin.

“Hey, Robin,” you smiled, sitting back against your pillows.

“You don’t call, you don’t write, I’m starting to feel insulted, Y/N!” came a voice from the background.

You laughed, hearing Eddie’s complaints.

“I haven’t called for two weeks, not two years,” you chastised him.

“It’s been too long either way,” Robin said, “Oh the kiddos want to say hi.”

“Hi!”

“Y/N I miss you!”

“Come home already!”

“Hi Y/N!”

A chorus of mixed voices were faint over the line, but by the volume, you assumed that Robin had held the receiver up for the group.

“Hi guys,” you chuckled, “Tell them I miss them too.”

“She says she misses you guys too,” you heard Robin say, “Not sure why when you drive us crazy here.”

You laughed again, feeling a pang of homesickness. As much hurt that Hawkins had left you with, you missed the great group of friends you had. You’d especially missed the phone calls lately.

“Two weeks though? I was going insane thinking you died or something!” Robin exclaimed dramatically.

“I’m sorry, finals are coming up and I’ve been cramming for them. I’ve been living in either a state of stress or exhaustion when I’m not studying or sleeping.”

“You’ll ace them, I know it,” Robin replied, sounding certain, “Besides, then you can come home to us!”

You fingered the necklace that you always wore, even now. It was a simple heart locket that rested coolly against your skin as if it always belonged there. Steve had given it to you for your one year anniversary. You didn’t have the strength to part with it and the comfort it brought you to still wear it was surprising, considering you tried hard not to think about Steve.

“I don’t know…” you hedged, “I haven’t quite figured out what I’m going to do for summer break. My roommate invited me to go to Tahiti with her and her family.”

“Well Tahiti doesn’t have us, missy.”

You could hear the sass in her voice and it made you chuckle.

“That’s true.”

“Do I have to call in reinforcements to convince you to come home?”

You didn’t even have a chance to respond before you heard the chorus of voices pleading and begging with you.

“Please!” Max and El.

“Yes come home we miss you!” Dustin.

“Hawkins sucks with out you!” Lucas.

“I think I forget what you even look like, it’s been so long.” Mike.

“Please come home for the summer?” Will.

“Honestly, who’s gonna keep this kids in line if it isn’t you?” Eddie.

Robin knew your weak spot, that’s for sure.

“Well?” Robin pressed, coming back on the line.

“Okay, okay. I guess I’m coming home for summer break,” you relented.

You had to hold the receiver away from your ear at the shrieks and whoops of joy that came from the other end.

“You won’t regret it, I promise,” you could hear the smile in Robin’s voice.

“Hey, Robin? Could I talk to you alone for a moment?”

You heard her murmur something to the others and you heard a door click, so you assumed she’d moved to a more private place.

“If you’re going to ask how Steve is, he’s the same as always.”

You sighed.

“I’m that predictable, huh?”

“Pretty much,” she answered baldly.

“As much as I hate it, I still care about him,” you replied glumly.

“You don’t hate it, Y/N,” Robin said gently, “Honestly, I’d be more concerned if you didn’t care about him still.”

“Is he…seeing anyone?” you asked, almost afraid of the answer.

Out of the handful of times you’d asked Robin how Steve had been doing, you’d never asked if he was dating. But now, knowing you were returning to Hawkins in a few short weeks, you found yourself curious. You told yourself you were just preparing for the worst in case you ended up seeing him with Nancy or worse, another girl.

“If you mean Nancy, nah. That never happened. She’s still with Jonathan,” she answered nonchalantly, like she was giving you the latest weather report, “And before you ask, there’s no other girl either. He’s practically turned into a monk and it’s weird.”

You didn’t know how to digest all that information, so you did what you did best: ignore it.

“How’s work going?” you asked her, twirling the cord of the phone around your finger.

“If you think I didn’t notice your swift change of subject, I did. But since you’re my best friend, I’ll overlook it,” she huffed, “It’s going alright. Nothing exciting.”

You spent the next hour on the phone chatting with her about anything and everything. By the time you’d hung up the phone, your wariness about returning to Hawkins had dissipated.

It would do you good to see your friends.

•

It was Friday night and Steve couldn’t find any of his friends anywhere.

Nor could he get ahold of them.

He’d tried all the usual spots after he’d closed up after his shift at Family Video. He tried the mall, the arcade, the diner, even the Wheeler’s house—where the gang usually congregated. No luck.

Before he’d left work, he’d tried calling Robin. Then Eddie. Then Dustin. He even tried the Sinclair’s house and Max. Either they didn’t pick up or their respective families had told him they weren’t there.

He was absolutely mystified, especially when he found them all at Dustin’s house, having a movie night. Without him.

He was trying not to be hurt as he loved movie night with his friends.

“What are all you guys doing here and why didn’t I get an invite?” he frowned, “Also, I called you before I left work and you didn’t answer!”

He pointed an accusatory finger at Dustin who shrugged.

“Sorry, dude. We just got here.”

“Where have you been?” Steve asked, glancing around at them.

They all avoided his gaze and his suspicions rose.

“We had some errands to run,” Eddie shrugged, nonchalantly.

“Errands,” Steve repeated, dubiously.

They all gave him noncommittal shrugs and grunts.

“So were you just going to casually forget to invite me for movie night?” he folded his arms over his chest, giving them what they teasingly called his parental glare.

“We couldn’t, okay?” Lucas said, shrugging.

He was even more confused.

“What do you mean you couldn’t?”

“We promised we wouldn’t,” Robin clarified, though it cleared up nothing at all for him.

“Because we wanted to spend a night with Y/N and she wouldn’t have come if you were here,” Max snapped, fire in her eyes, “I haven’t seen her in a year, none of us have and I’ll be dammed if I let you ruin me seeing the best big sister I’ve never have just because you were an asshole that broke her heart. You may have suffered, but so have we because we miss our friend.”

His head was reeling. You were here? In Hawkins? How did he not know that?

“She’s here?” he asked, finding it hard to breathe.

“Well not yet, but-”

Dustin’s reply was cut off by the sound of the front door shutting.

“Sorry I’m late guys! I stopped by the store to grab some boxes of popcorn so we can-”

Your words faltered as quickly as you froze in place, seeing who was standing in the middle of the Henderson’s living room. You’d been insistent that you didn’t want to see Steve, but now that he was here…you were kinda glad.

Steve’s heart stopped. He was sure of it. There was no oxygen reaching his brain or his lungs. Nothing mattered but seeing you. You looked incredible, like you always did. You had that effortless beauty that he loved because you never truly grasped how beautiful he thought you were—are. Your lips were parted in a surprised “oh”, but the word never made its way past your lips.

My god, your lips. He missed them so much. Obviously he missed you in general, but he never realized how for granted he took the kisses shared with you. Whether it was gentle, passionate kisses, searing, desire filled ones or even the perfunctory peck when leaving or arriving, he realized more than ever in that moment how much he missed kissing you.

Apparently, he’d lost the ability to speak as well as he just stared, dumbfounded at you. You hadn’t changed much in a year, though your hair was now shorter, like you’d just recently cut it. He loved it, it brought even more attention to your pretty face.

You had an obscene amount of microwave popcorn boxes in the grocery bags in your hands—then again with this crowd it was like feeding 50 people, not eight.

“Hi,” you whispered, still stunned by his presence.

“Hi,” he whispered back.

He wanted to tell you that he regretted breaking up with you.

He wanted to tell you that he missed you so fucking much.

He wanted to tell you that letting you go was the worst thing he ever did, that he needed you in his life, by his side, so much.

He wanted to tell you how many times he’d drove past your house in the last year, pain slicing his chest like an ice blade ripping it open. He knew it was all his fault you were gone, but somehow, driving by your house was as peaceful as it made him full of sorrow. While you’d been gone, that’d been all he had left of you, that small sliver.

But now, here you were and he wasn’t going to waste the opportunity.

When his eyes landed on the silver heart locket on your chest, he lost all pretenses of holding it together as tears sprung to his eyes. You’d kept the necklace he’d given you. You were still wearing it.

His eyes met yours and you saw the realization in his. He saw the affirmation in yours. You’d kept wearing his necklace around your neck, quite literally a symbol of you still having his heart.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he said hesitantly, “I have a lot of things to say that I think you should hear.”

You said nothing, but it was the small smile that gave him hope. He would hold on to that thread for as long as it took you because if he was ever lucky enough to win you back, he was never going to let you go again.

After all, somehow, your road had led you back to him.

#steve harrington #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington fic #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x reader #stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things blurb #stranger things angst #stranger things fluff

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zerolynx716 · 10 months

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kisematsu makes me sooooo emo

yk when in the kaijo vs touou match (dont talk about the kasamatsu crying scene after that okay my heart has broken over it enough times) kise couldnt get up from the court floor because his legs were exhausted from copying aomine ,,, and kasamatsu walked to him and kise looked up at him and said “senpai… im so sorry…” and kasamatsu just picked him up, draped his arm over his shoulder to help him up and said “you did well, kise”

it hurts so much more cuz i get what theyre going thru. the euphoria from winning any sports game is unmatched but that means the misery when you lose is equally unmatched. its so bad

not being able to get up from the court, walking with a limp, looking up at your senior and feeling this huge pang of guilt that you couldnt win for them. its terrible

kise wanted to win FOR kasamatsu. he didnt want him to go through that feeling of loss. but the team lost anyway and he felt horrible because for so long the responsibility of the team winning has been on his shoulders. he was always expected to bring the team to victory and he is legit USED TO BEING HUMILIATED for it if he doesnt. he admits that to a fault he doesnt know how to pace himself. he doesnt know when too much is too much and he overexerts himself on a regular basis

but kasamatsu was ALWAYS there to help him. to tell him that if kise ever needed help making a decision w/ training he could go to kasamatsu. that kise didn’t need to bear the burden of success anymore

im never gonna stfu about this bro the ONLY reason kise developed and improved as much as he did is BECAUSE of kasamatsu. kasamatsu saw what teiko did to him the amount of pain kise didnt know he was bearing and he pulled out all the stops to make sure that kise would get better

he took kise to basketball matches with him. he took his junior OVER his classmates that are more experienced and would have had better insights but no. he did it so he could have more time with kise and si that kise could learn more about the game too. to teach him new things and new team strategies that he couldnt learn at teiko because THEY WERENT A TEAM

kasamatsu is one hell of a leader an amazing friend. he is exactly what a leader should be. hes passionate and motivating, he never EVER gives up. he has amazing mental fortitude and he is always open to teaching people new things especially to kise. he knew that kise was being disrespectful because that was all he knew how to do. kise didnt know what it was like to not be at the center of attention and not better than everyone and not singled out because of his talent. kasamatsu didnt let that go unnoticed. he put his foot down but he didnt do it aggressively. he was rational and respectful. he used all the right words

he knew there was something in kise. sure he was a great player but he had the potential to be a better PERSON. and kasamatsu wasnt gonna give up on him just because kise had a rough start

for so many years kise was alone. he never rlly had anyone close to him or anyone that wanted to help him. in that scene where he was in the floor and unable to get up? the animators made it a point to emphasize that he was ALONE. but a few seconds later, there was someones hand outreached. kasamatsu looked at him. helped him up. patted his head. praised him, comforted him

kise wasn’t alone anymore. he had someone that cared about him. an entire TEAM that cared about him

auauhyfhudhsh6(a ahhahwjjak im so insane about them im so sorry this will happen again

#anime #knb #kuroko no basket #kise ryouta #kasamatsu yukio #kise x kasamatsu

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raspberrysunshinebby · 1 year

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Two Choices

(I’m gonna change the name I promise. Please send suggestions.)

Chapter 2

Pairing: Eris x reader x Azriel

Summary: The future wife of Eris never cared much for mating bonds, she had spent years in love with Eris and when Beron finally dies they can be together. He has full intention to make his love into his High Lady until at a party meant to celebrate Eris’ reign the girl finds herself finding her mate, Azriel.

Warnings: Slight smut, angst, tell me if I missed something.

Word Count: 4625

(I’m rlly sorry for what im about to do to Azriel’s character)

The next morning I’d woken up to Eris already gone. I’d assumed he’d gone to go spar with his brothers, I went to go change but quickly remembered I wasn’t in my room. As I looked around I noticed a simple pink dress sitting on a chair, I assumed Eris left it there and I went to put it on.

I quickly noticed how puffy my face was from all the crying, and how red it was. I was also scared people would question why Eris and I slept here tonight instead of in his room. I really didn’t want anyone to know about this, not at least until I beat it into Eris’ head that I would choose him over anyone, even my mate.

The doors quickly opened to my handmaid's entering with makeup and hair things, happy I was already dressed.

“What's going on?” I asked the Lady next to me. “The Night Court is to arrive soon and Eris requested we do your hair and makeup.” She told me.

Something about that hurt. Knowing Eris set up this meeting without discussing the bond with me first hurt. The fact he wanted me done too? That made it hurt even more.

“Where is he?” I asked.

“Downstairs discussing preparations with staff.” She answered quietly.

I quickly got up from my seat to head to him. I couldn’t have this meeting, I didn’t want this meeting.

I quickly found him discussing with kitchen staff before I yelled out his name. When he looked to be, I motioned towards the dining hall, which I knew no one was in.

“What the fuck is this meeting about?” I asked him when we walked in.

He sighed, “I think it's pretty obvious it's about you.”

“Why?”

He looked at me like the answer was so obvious, “Azriel is your mate, (Y/N). This meeting is to discuss what to do about that.”

“There is nothing to discuss,” I told him, “I don't want to be even near Azriel. I want nothing to do with the Night Court.”

“He is your mate. You should at least try.” He said quietly.

My heart dropped, “No!” I said firmly, “I don't want to, I want nothing with him Eris.”

“And what if one day you decide you do?” He raised his voice. This caught me off guard, he’d never done that.

“Tell me, what happens when you decide you want the bond? Will there be an affair? Will I be to blame?” He told me.

I stayed silent, not because I felt like he was right, but because I couldn’t believe he’d think I’d ever do that.

“The bond is placed for a reason (Y/N). I want you to find out whether or not you are compatible now rather than later. I don't want to watch you not want me when we’re married.”

“Last night it didn’t seem like you wanted me anymore,” I said, holding back tears.

“Oh my cauldron, (Y/N). I-”

“You didn’t even look at me!” I cut him off.

He stayed silent for a second, “I’m sorry but it's not my fault you got mated to a man I hate.”

At this point, I was crying, “It’s not mine either!”

I heard him whisper, “I know, I know.”

I’m not sure if we both would’ve started yelling or crying at each other. Before we could, a maid knocked to tell us the Night Court had arrived.

I whipped the tears from my eyes and tried to compose myself, Eris took his fingers and combed down some parts of my hair that were messy—almost making me cry again.

We walked out of the room together, but I was about a foot ahead of him.

When we entered the room I saw a few members of the Night Court, the Highlord and Lady, Azriel, and another winged male. The seats were set up on both sides. I wanted to take a seat on the couch that was placed on the side where Eris would be sitting but I didn’t know if I should. I eventually decided to sit on the couch with Eris but on the other side away from him.

“Have you thought about the Eris deal?” Rhysand started. This confused me, I never heard anything about a deal.

“Yes, I did,” Eris responded.

“What deal?” I asked.

Everyone was silent before Rhysand spoke again, “We were discussing having you switch from here to the Night Court every two weeks. To help you figure out your whole. Situation.”

My jaw dropped, “There's nothing to figure out. I’m staying here with my fiance and that's final.”

“You forget you're still my mate,” Azriel started, “I don't plan on kidnapping you in your sleep but I do plan on being persistent on giving us a shot.”

“There is no us,” I responded.

“(Y/N).” Eris stated my name, “He has every right to want to do that. He’s your mate.”

I looked at him shocked, “I can't fucking believe you're taking their side.” I told him.

Eris took a deep breath, “As your High Lord I’m telling you to take the deal. You’ll be leaving for two weeks tonight.”

Azriel was about to say something but it didn’t matter, I stood from my seat and rushed to my room. Not waiting to hear anyone try to stop me.

I didn’t understand why Eris was doing this. I was to be his Highlady and he was allowing me to be sent off to some other man.

I noticed shadows following me under my door but I paid them no mind as I forced myself under my covers to cry. Maybe if I was lucky they’d forget I was here if I stayed long enough.

I’m not sure how long I laid there as I eventually fell asleep, but when I woke up it was already nighttime. I walked down the hall hungry and tired still when I heard two voices.

“You're selling my sister off like a broodmare!” I recognized the voice as my oldest brother, Silas.

“That is not what is going on. She is not being sold, and this will be her choice.” I heard Eris say.

“Bullshit, she doesn’t even want to go in the first place and you're making her go. Where is her choice here?” Silas responded.

“You don't understand Silas, I want her to know whether or not she wants to be with Azriel now.”

“She doesn’t!” Silas yelled, “She doesn’t give a fuck about him, you told me yourself! You're being fucking delusional! You're going to fucking lose her not cause of Azriel but cause of you!”

“She's going. Whether you like it or not.”

I heard something crash before my brother angrily came out of Eris’ office. The door slammed and Silas saw me, his face immediately softened.

“He’s really making me go, isn’t he?” I softly asked him.

My brother wrapped his arms around me, I expected myself to cry but I didn’t. “I’m sorry my sweet girl.” was all he could muster out.

Silas told me Rhysand and Azriel would be here soon, leading us to slowly walk to the sitting room they’d be winnowing to.

About five minutes of us waiting happened until the two showed up to take me away. I stalled for about two minutes before we left, waiting to see if Eris would come to say goodbye.

He never did.

I was brought to a place they called ‘The House of Wind’ and brought to a room. I found there were Night Court gowns and nightdresses for me, but I stuck to the Autumn Court ones I had brought with me.

“You haven’t eaten today, have you?” Azriel asked me, “I can have some food brought to you.”

“I’m fine.” That is all I said.

He paused for a moment, “Feyre and Rhysand made a deal somewhat like this,” He told me, “it worked out for them. I hope it works out for us.” He said quietly.

After I hadn’t said anything for a little while he eventually left.

I lay in bed for maybe minutes or hours before I realized I could not fall asleep, I was so tired yet I couldn't.

I’d only been able to fall asleep alone during the day due to the anger I felt against Eris, but now that I’d calmed down, all I wanted was him. I couldn’t sleep without him.

Eventually, I grabbed a thinner blanket in my room than the one on my bed and walked around the house. I ended up finding a library that I sat in to watch the sunrise.

After the sunrise I decided to look around at what books they had. I wanted to find some to pass the time before I could go home, yell at Eris for being an idiot and then have him in my arms.

Usually, I’d like romance, but at the moment I couldn’t stand the thought of it. So instead I chose fiction books about wars or some magical schools or something. Anything I could pass the time with. Once I was done I began walking back to my room covered in my blanket.

On my walk I was interrupted by Azriel walking toward me in a hurry, “Did you sleep at all last night?” was the first thing he said.

“No,” I told him, and he immediately rushed to my side to try to help me carry my books and bring me back to my room.

“No, stop. I’m fine.” I told him as I grabbed the books I was holding from his hands and began walking back to my room, he continued following me.

“Are you sure you're fine, 'cause I really wanted to take you somewhere today so you don't feel weird here,” He continued rambling on.

“Yea I’m fine, sure.” was all I said.

I have to admit, I felt a little bad. Azriel was sweet, he clearly cared. He wouldn’t compare to Eris though. Even if I accepted the mating bond Azriel would never compare.

“Also um,” He started, “There are Night Court dresses in there. I was hoping you’d wear one of those instead of the Autumn Court ones you brought.”

“Yea sure,” I said snappily.

“Alright great, can you be ready in like thirty minutes?” he asked me.

“Yea sure,” I said.

“Okay perfect, I’ll see you in a bit.” He scurried off as I went into my room.

I don't know why I didn’t except this. I wanted to jump off a cliff, but at this point, I just had to go along with whatever.

To me, all the dresses they had for me looked dull. All blacks or grays, some blues. I found I didn’t look good in dark blue though.

I settled for a gray dress with a corset-like top and straight gown bottom. It had some sparkly stars on it and was honestly a little itchy.

I brushed my hair some and allowed it to have its natural waves before Azriel came back knocking on my door.

Through the door, he asked me if I was ready before I responded with a yes.

After I left the room I noticed Rhysand was there, he said he was there just to winnow us. I guess Azriel was worried about what my reaction would be to flying. I was really glad they chose to winnow me.

Once we got there Rhysand left as fast as he came, I turned to see Azriel took me to a garden.

“Eris mentioned to me you like to walk in gardens sometimes in the morning, I thought it’d be nice to take you to one.”

“Thank you,” I told him, being polite.

We walked down the garden together, he told me about how Feyre’s sister Elain takes care of it and about the little knowledge of plants he knew. We continued talking, well he talked and I listened and responded.

Once we got closer to the house we were by I noticed long red locks by a window.

I’d stopped listening to what Azriel said as I examined the red hair. It looked so close to Eris’ and just seemed like I knew the person.

The man turned his head more towards the window where I could see his face.

Lucien

The boy I hadn’t seen since he was exiled was standing there as a man. I remembered him as a baby when Eris would sneak away with him to show me his little brother. I remember him as a little boy playing in the trees and I remember how the day before he was exiled he had spent some time in my families gardens with me, he chatted about anything and everything,

I immediately rushed toward the house to see him. Ignoring Azriel's yells of my name I found the door to the house and turned the corner to make eye contact with Lucien.

I saw his eye light up before he went to hug me. This was the first time I’d smiled in a whole day. I almost cried seeing the man who’d always be a boy to me.

There were a few other people in the room who seemed to have no idea what was going on. Azriel included.

Neither of us cared, we decided to move our small little reunion outside where Azriel followed. We sat by some benches while we chatted, catching each other up on everything.

The conversion made it to Lucien's exile.

“Eris was hoping you’d be at that party, he wanted to publicly remove your exile and claim you as his brother,” I told Lucien quietly. Ignoring the way Azriel shifted in his seat as I mentioned Eris.

Lucien stayed silent for a second, “Honestly I just want to see my mother again.”

“She misses you a lot, if you just showed up you’d be welcomed with open arms. I promise.” I told him.

He shook his head, “I don't want to go until it's properly abolished.”

I nodded, “I’ll relay that message when I get home.”

“(Y/N) you haven’t eaten yet today either right?” Azriel asked, leading me to nod.

“Come on, we’re gonna go get breakfast somewhere, okay?”

I nodded to Azriel before I hugged Lucien as a goodbye and stood up, ready to follow him.

I followed him through the house trying to not make eye contact with the other people in there who were very obviously looking at me, especially the blonde, Mor. I wondered if she still hated Eris for something everyone knows wasn’t even his fault.

I successfully got through the house without someone trying to kill me, which seemed like an accomplishment for me.

Azriel moved his hand to my shoulder to push me slightly to stand next to him. I much preferred standing behind him but I followed his direction anyway. We walked through the city he called Velaris. I'd heard of it a couple of times during conversations with Eris but never cared enough to ask more about it.

It was a pretty city, stone brick houses and shops everywhere. I missed the autumn colors the cities back at home had with their trees and leaves.

Eventually we made it to this cute looking cafe, it was made of brick with steel seats and tables everywhere with little star designs on them, there were floating candles all around and a menu with different drinks and food on them, most I’d never heard of.

One of the workers came out of the back with a bigger chair, and sat it down at a table after removing its original chair. I guess Azriel was a regular here as he thanked the worker who gave him two menus and sat in the chair as I sat in front of him. The chair matched the others; it was just bigger and made to fit his wings.

When I read the menu I was really hoping there’d be something I’d recognize and like here, but I’d forgotten how much of a picky eater I was. The only thing that was also at the Autumn Court here was a simple Egg and toast breakfast, but I didn’t like eggs. I hated the texture and how it felt in my mouth. When I was a child I ate one and immediately threw it up. I hate eggs.

My eyes wandered to something that looked basic on the menu. It was a thin circle thing that looked similar to the waffles we had back in the Autumn Court. It came with toast that had avocado on it.

Azriel noticed how long I took and how confused I looked, “Do you not have this kind of stuff in the Autumn Court?” He asked me.

I shook my head, “What the hell is a pancake?” I asked him.

This time he looked confused, “You guys don’t have pancakes?”

He began to explain to me that it was batter made from milk, flour and eggs that was cooked. I thought for a minute, “So it's a thin waffle?”

“What is a waffle?”

I decided to order the pancake with the avocado toast thing, which I ended up really liking. The texture on the pancake wasn’t the same as a waffle which kind of bothered me but it didn’t make me want to throw up at least.

We chatted a little bit but it's hard to chat with someone when all you want to do is leave. At least I tried. Afterwards he asked me if I wanted to go clothes shopping, since I only had like three dresses pre-made for me but I didn’t really feel like it.

“I’ll just wear the clothes I brought with me,” I told Azriel.

Azriel’s face scrunched up, “I don't think that’s a good idea, especially if you go out in public like that.”

“I don’t plan on going out in public that much.”

That made Azriel stop talking for a moment, he paid for our meals and we left to continue walking along the street.

In my defense, even if he wasn’t my mate I’d still feel weird talking to him just because he was being so awkward. Then I thought about it more, I’d probably be awkward to my mate if they started crying the second the bond kicked in.

As we walked I realized he was bringing us to this shop with little trinkets, based on the fact Eris told Azriel I liked gardens he probably also told him I liked little objects. Half of the space in our bedroom and drawing room is used for my little items. Something about them just made me very happy.

Azriel brought me into the shop with him where my eyes immediately went to the wall of little figures, boxes and other items. Azriel was going to say something but I’d already walked away to go look at these items.

I’m not sure how long we were there, if I could guess maybe an hour and a half. Azriel just walked behind me and watched me look around. For a minute I thought he was Eris, since this was the exact thing Eris and I did when we’d go to places like this.

I ended up finding a little jewelry box with little trees carved into it with gold flakes. I ended up loving it and picked it up.

Azriels head cocked, “are you getting that?”

I nodded to him and walked to the counter, before I could pay myself I saw the lady at the counter nod to Azriel, he directed me to the door telling me to not worry, he paid it for.

“What time is it?” I asked him.

“Around 2.” Azriel told me.

We’d been out for a while, I didn’t know the exact time we left but I knew it was around 9 or 10 in the morning.

We started to walk to the house we were originally at, I yawned realizing not sleeping all night was really catching up to me.

“Do you wanna go back to the house?” Azriel asked.

“Yes please, I’m so tired.”

“Lets go to the house real quick, I can get Rhysand to winnow us.”

“Can Lucien winnow us?” I asked.

“Well,” Azriel started, “I don't think Rhysand would like that.”

“Oh okay.”

I’m gonna be honest I was also just kind of tired of Azriel. Being around him was very boring, I’m sure he’s interesting but he was just kind of weird to be around.

When we’d gotten to the house Rhysand was already waiting to bring us back to the House of Wind. Before he brought us I saw multiple people just staring at me, some gave me dirty looks, while a few looked curious. Mor was one of the ones who gave me the dirty look.

I ended up just looking at the ground before Rhysand winnowed us back, I didn’t realize until I got there that I was holding my breath.

Azriel ended up walking me to my room when Rhysand left, he tried to come into my room but I stopped him. I didn’t want a man who wasn’t my fiance in my room.

Once I was finally in my room I changed into sleeping clothes and immediately passed out, exhausted from not sleeping properly and being out all day. It was still really early but I didn’t care.

This is what my days for the next week and a half looked like, I’d only sleep when I was exhausted, I’d go for breakfast with Azriel, go to a random shop, read at night and after day two I got to add daily chattings with Lucien who decided to extend his stay in the Night Court due to me. Azriel was always there though. I’d grown more comfortable with Azriel, enough to make jokes with him and have real conversations. I was still pretty guarded but more comfortable.

Now, three days before I’d return to the Autumn Court, the Inner Court of Night decided they wanted to have dinner with me before I went. I agreed, hoping this would stop them from looking at me the way they did.

When I was ready, Azriel brought me to the dining room in the House of Wind, where the court already was. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as I sat down, but I really didn’t have a way out of this anymore so I tried to ignore it.

“So (Y/N),” Mor started, “Why exactly are you engaged to Eris?”

“He’s been my friend for over 400 years and my lover for over a hundred,” I said more quietly than I wanted to.

“That long and you still don't see the asshole he is.” The winged male who I learned name was Cassian said.

“You don't know anything about Eris.” I said.

Before Cassian could continue with whatever he was gonna say, Rhysand spoke up, “Can we stop talking about Eris, it’s gonna ruin my appetite.”

Azriel ended up speaking up, “You know Nesta, (Y/N) likes books a lot too.”

Nesta, the eldest sister, perked up, “What kind?” She asked me.

“I like fantasy and thrillers. Some romance when I’m bored but a lot are boring to me.” I told her.

“I read romance,” She told me, meaning we basically read completely different things. Which makes talking about books a little hard.

I kind of felt bad as Azriel desperately tried to find something that I liked that they also liked. Azriel didn’t know a lot of the things I liked though, most of them were activities I did with Eris and I didn’t feel like having an argument with my mates friends.

Eventually the dinner fell silent except for the coo’s of the Highlord's son, who I had to admit was really cute.

With the dinner being silent I didn’t expect Rhysands question, “When do you plan on breaking the engagement with Eris and accepting the bond?”

I choked on my food. “Excuse me?”

“Azriel is your mate, it's inevitable that you’ll accept the bond.”

“The more you talk the more I’m inclined to not accept the bond.” I told Rhysand.

Azriel gave Rhysand a look to stop talking, but that's when Feyre began talking. “So you would choose a cruel dictator over Azriel?”

My jaw clenched, “Eris isn’t like that, you all know nothing of him.”

“Last I checked he’s the man who nailed a note to a womb.” Mor responded.

“Your father did that. Eris had nothing to do with that, the only reason he didn’t help you was because he knew if he did he’d be tied to you.” I said angrily.

“Just stop playing around (Y/N),” Rhysand said, “Eris is going to be in the past, Azriel is your mate. I understand that it will be weird at first but you will begin to love him. Nesta didn’t like Cassian that much in the beginning and now look at them.”

I slammed my fork down and stood up, “I’m going back to the Autumn Court, goodbye.” I said storming out of the room. I heard Azriel stand up to follow me.

I stormed to my room as fast as I could ignoring Azriel’s pleas behind me. Once I’d gotten to my room I slammed the door and locked it, immediately going to find some paper and ink to send Eris a letter.

I’d avoided sending him one out of anger for making me come here the first week. After I did because I felt sad he didn’t try to send me one first, I continued to not send one out of pride.

At this point in my anger pride did not exist, I needed Eris to come get me now. I refused to be winnowed by Rhysand or anyone else in the Night Court so this was my only option.

I began to hear knocking at my door and callings of my name from Azriel, all of which I ignored. I quickly found a piece of paper and began to messily write on it, a simple message to Eris telling him to get me now.

Before I could finish my door was opened for Azriel, how he did it, I have no idea. I turned to look at him who was walking towards me, he came and snatched the paper out of my hand.

“You're not going back yet, this wasn’t the deal.” He told me, raising the letter above his head.

I tried to grab it, “I didn’t agree to anything, I’ll do whatever I fucking want.” I said angrily.

When I realized I couldn’t grab the paper, I tried to hit him. He used his free hand to hold onto my wrists to stop me and dropped his other hand. I attempted to break free, yelling at him to let me go.

He began to move towards the unlit fireplace in my room, dragging me with him. He threw the paper into it and grabbed a match from on top of the fireplace. He lit the fireplace, burning my letter.

I looked at the fire in shock, my skin crawling. After a second I began to try to fight my way out of his grip again. He let me go which caused me to fall back, I hit my head on the corner of the bed as I fell.

“Shit (Y/N)!” Azriel yelled, in my blurry vision I could see him rushing toward me.

I felt him move his hand to the back of my head and slightly lift me up, “Shit, shit your bleeding.”

My blurry vision turned to my hearing defaulting, before the world went black.

#eris vanserra x reader smut #Eris #eris vanserra #eris x reader #eris vanserra x reader #acotar #acotar x reader #azriel #azriel x reader

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heartpascal · 1 year

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helloo :DD i am here to check up on you and not release depressing ideas this time (yet) i will be sharing a bunch of songs that remind me of "if the door wasn't shut" series <3 but anyway, how are you?? i hope you're doing well <33

it's literally almost 3 am and i'm doing my research paper right now that is due on monday 😔 other than that i also have other stuff to do that is on monday so that's that (´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ)

don't forget to take care of yourself and get that daily intake of water 😌🤎

• leaves - ben&ben

• ride home - ben&ben

• end credits - eden, leah kelly

• just a man - jorge rivera-herrans, epic ensemble

• flicker - niall horan

• falling - harry styles

(this could pertain to the series itself or the "bonus" idea part, up to you to interpret it😉)

(feels like my signing has become suggesting songs and pedro pascal gifs 😭😭)

(din djarin this time because he's the loml <3)

HOWL!!! hello!!! apologies for the late response!! i have been cramming in my homework which is also due for monday 😭 what a pair we are. but i also had a nice day !!! went to the zoo which was fun !!! how are you doing??? how have the research paper / other upcoming things been going???? also what’s the research paper on :0 ???

also howl pls get some sleep omg

I LOVE YOUR SONG RECS SM!!! i hope you know i have a playlist exclusively for howl song recs :’) and your pedro gifts r so lovely HAHAH its become your signature thing on my blog i think LMFAOOO i love when other people give song recs and start by mentioning you i think it’s so cute

anyway tlou part 2 scenario mention below so just to be safe xoxo

leaves ??? THIS WAS A NEW ONE TO ME!!!! but “oh you never really love someone until you learn to forgive” HOWL THE ABSOLUTE CHEEK OF IT!!!! it will always astound me how you have so many songs that fit so well. THE GOOD RECS ARE NEVERENDING LIKE HOW????

anf ride home too??? “we just gotta let it go / so im coming home to you” HELLO???? i have no words for this i genuinely don’t understand HOW you do this every damn time

end credits ?? this is also a new one for me but im in LURV. i really like it. im gonna cry. and these songs rlly could relate to either that pt 2 scenario or the series itself like “but this is how it goes / the end credits, they roll” u can’t tell me that doesn’t immediately make u think of tje tlou 2 scenario. right. ??? im not losing it.BUT THEN YOUVE GOT “all i ever wanted was sunlight and honesty” and adn “cause all i need is time and now / and i could leave this past behind me” SCREAMINGGGGGGG. i also just really like this song in itself so thank u for these wonderful suggestions

just a man , initial thoughts r joel coded. im writing this as i listen so you’re getting my live reactions. it could also be like. tommy and maria coded but we know i lvoe joel. “will these actions haunt my days / every man i’ve slain? / is the price i pay endless pain?” HELLO. this is so tlou 2 scenario 4 joel idc. “WHEN DOES A MAN BECOME A MONSTERRRRR?” howl you knew what you were doing with this one. don’t think i don’t see you. HM and upon my second listen “close your eyes and spare yourself the view / how could i hurt you?” im basically quoting the whole song atp BUT IDC ITS TOO PERFECT.

i heart niall horan ok but i don’t listen to much of him (im sorry OK IM SORRY!!!) but i……… again live reactions. “still a flicker of hope that you first gave to me / that i wanna keep / please don’t leave / please don’t leave” I AM SEEING YOU HOWL I AM PERCEIVING YOU. this is again tlou 2 scenario coded AND IM SAD. Y ARE YOU MAIKING ME SAD!!!

falling .. this one i know. i too had a harry styles phase ok. (again sorry to niall horan). you didn t ask for this but be prepared for unnecessary relating it to parts of the series. “forget what i said / its not what i meant” joel when he said me and ellie not you. you see where im going ?!?! “what if im someone you wont talk about? / i’m falling again” joel when he knows how much he f ed up. r hates him. SHE HATES. “and the coffee’s out” joel when that bag of coffee beans runs out and he has none left. heheheh. “what am i now? / what if im someone i don’t want around?” joel. joel at all points ever. joel when he sees r again after the first part. joel when ellie finds out you know what. joel when he. “and i get the feeling that you’ll never need me again” lets not go into a deep dive about the character of joel and how he has ALWAYS had somebody relying on him, somebody needing him. but i would. i want to. i must calm.

again you didnt ask for this but i love song recs and going into way too much detail about how well they fit even when i am not asked to. alas.

HOWL I LOVE YOU I HOPE YOU’RE DOING WELL <333

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hugheshugs · 2 years

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Hi! Can I request #30, 70 and 72 with Owen Power? Love your writing by the way. Excited for this Blurb Saturday:)

hey nommie !! im starting to love o so i was rlly excited to write this one, and thank u for being excited as well ahh that makes me happy :)) i like this one so i hope u enjoy <3

warnings: sad thoughts (reader doesn't feel good enough), reader has a breakdown

"come here."

"i'm such a disappointment."

"everything about myself is unlikeable."

growing up, you and owen always had a close bond. you went through everything together, from puberty to breakups, from graduation to now. he was your rock and you were his.

you knew it wasn't right for you to develop feelings for him but you couldn't help it. you loved everything about him. it was hard to keep it in, especially because you guys told each other every little detail about your lives, but you'd done alright so far.

today was different, however. it was one of those days, everyone had them. the ones where you don't feel like enough. you feel like a burden, like the world would be better without you. you felt like no one truly liked you and that everyone was just putting up a facade.

the day was spent crying into your pillow as you laid in bed. you'd gotten up to brush your teeth in the morning but that was it. your day wasn't busy, but it sure felt like a lot. it completely slipped your mind that you and owen had planned to have a late lunch together.

when he pulled up to your place and used the spare key you gave him to let himself in, he knew something was off. usually your place smelt sweet because you were baking, one of your hobbies. but the lights were off and his nose wasn't hit with any pleasant scent.

there weren't any sounds, either. it was just.. quiet, and not in a good way. he decided to walk around to see where you were. maybe you weren't home?

he was wrong; he heard your cries as soon as he opened your bedroom door. panic was all he felt. he closed the door shut before walking over to your bedside, placing a hand on your back — which made you jump — and crouching down to meet your eyes.

"hey, what's wrong bug?"

the sight of your quivering lip and glossy eyes hurt his heart. you sniffled, wondering how to answer his question as he brushed your hair out of your face and rested his hand on the back of your head.

"i'm such a disappointment."

"no you're not," he said immediately. his voice was stern, and he almost felt insulted that you'd say something like that about yourself.

"i am o, no one likes me."

your face contorted into one of pain and you shoved your head back into your pillow as you started to cry. owen climbed into the other side of your bed and sat against the frame, hoping to soothe you.

"come here.." he spoke before grabbing you from under your arms.

"owen! no— what are you doing?"

"i'm trying to help you! just come into my lap, come on."

you let out a shaky breath, perching yourself up with your hands and glaring before listening to him and placing yourself in his lap. he wrapped his arms around you and you let your head rest against his chest, one hand playing with the chain around his neck.

"buggy—"

"don't call me that," you cut him off with a stuffy nose.

"it's been your name forever.. my name for you. now can you tell me what's wrong?"

you teared up again and you felt stupid that you'd spent the whole day crying because you were insecure. you thought about your feelings for him and a sob wracked through your body, making you shove your head into the crease of his neck.

"everything about myself is unlikeable," you cried, eyes squeezing shut while you tried to stop the tears. "i just w-want to leave, i feel so bad here."

owen shook his head, rubbing a hand over your back. he'd talk to you about your confession later, for now he had to get you to stop crying.

"shh, it's okay. you're okay, i'm here."

"you're gonna l-leave too."

that caught him off guard. his breath hitched in his throat and he felt like the air had been knocked out of him.

"i'm not going to leave you, y/n. i never will, i promise. everything's okay— i'm telling you i'm here and i always will be."

his words seemed to send something to your heart and your head, and he felt it because your cries quieted down instantly. you looked up at him and again, the sight of your face was too much for him to handle.

"you mean it?" you asked shakily.

he cupped your cheeks, both of you dismissing how close you were to each other. he used the pads of his thumbs to wipe the wetness away from your eyes.

"you're everything to me. when i say i'm always going to be here, i mean it."

you nodded, hastily wrapping your arms around his neck to hug him.

"i love you, o."

he didn't know what you meant. he'd never know that you really meant it, but he said it to you anyway:

"i love you too."

#owen power #owen power imagine #owen power x reader #owen power blurb #umich hockey imagine #buffalo sabres imagine #nhl blurb #riri's blurb night #riri's blurbs #saturday under 1k

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inosukeslefttoe · 3 years

Photo

SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro.

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry.

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either.

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

#wonder egg priority #wonder egg spoilers #ai ohto #rika kawai #momoe sawaki #wonder egg priority neiru #i forgot neirus name #anime review #wonder egg ai #lgbtq anime

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ratanslily · 3 years

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Irreplaceable

pairing: bryce lahela x f!mc (Dr. Theia Valentine)

genre: angst but with happy ending.

about the fic: im just giving bryce's premium scene some closure ♡

inspo: this post by @ofpixelsandscribbles

a/n: I've never written for my mc before oof i hope i did her justice!! honestly this fic was so rushed (like all my fics lmao, i write on impulse, not meticulous planning and its a self indulgent fics so i dont rlly expect people to read because i kinds wrote it for my own sanity)

"We should do this much, much more often"

"Agreed."

Bryce looked around the on-call room. So much changed, the beds, the technology, the lights... and maybe them. or maybe he was the one who changed.

Theia smiled and took his hand in his, beckoning him to accompany him back to the party. He slowly removed her hand away from his and took a step back. his face grew serious as he said,

"its.. probably not a good idea"

"why?"

"its just.. I don't know.. just go ahead, without me, I dont want to draw attention to us."

Theia could tell there was much more to Bryce's strange behaviour. Ever since they started their third year, she could see something was wrong with him, something was troubling him. but when they'd get intimate, all worries would go away and he'd get back to his normal self.

so what happened?

"so it's all a game to you, isn't it?"

"wh-what?"

"you don't need me.. you just want me to satisfy your needs"

"liste-"

"No, Dr. Lahela. listen to me.", Theia raised her voice as her eyes started glistening with fresh tears.

"was it all a game to you? I thought we had something special.. something unique.. something homely.. when you dropped your fries just to kiss me..when you comforted within these same 4 walls, when we longed to feel each other when I was sick, when you walked me home after the funeral.. I guess I was a fool, I was just a distraction to you, wasn't it?"

she turned on her heels and made way to the door. Before her hands could even touch the handle, she felt Bryce's shaking hand on her shoulder.

"Theia.. please. please stay."

"what for?"

as much as she wanted to resist, she turned back to find Bryce on the verge of tears, with a face full of longing for her.

---

Bryce never hated anything more than the sight of Theia in pain. tonight, he made her cry.

He never meant to hurt her. but he always knew this day would come, especially since they started their third ywar of residency. He knew she and him would end up on different paths.

so why try? why grow close, just to fall apart? kiss, just to say goodbye? make memories, just to move on and forget them?

but he fell, he fell hard for her. against his best wishes. he found himself caring more for her rather than himself. he found her tears as his own. maybe more painful than his own. when he found her alone on the floor, crying all by herself, he couldnt stop himself from comforting her, feeling the same hurt as she did. they grew closer faster than he imagined, but he loved every second of their relationship.

the day he saw Theia behind the glass walls, trying to reach for him, he aligned his hand on hers, with a glass wall between them. he needed her more than ever in that moment. that night, when he sat by her side, close but not close enough, he felt it.

he felt it surging thru his veins.

he felt love.

but he didnt admit it, for the fear of rejection.

he thought of himself as someone who was easily replaceable, someone who was just a second option to others, never the priority.

little did he know, all Theia wanted is, him by her side, no one else. She never thought of him as the second option, but as the only option.

---

Theia softened at the sight of him holding back his tears and silently cursed herself for being the reason behind his tears.

"im sorry for being so loud, but tell me one thing, Bryce. Do you even need me anymore?"

her words struck him right in the heart.

"if you dont have any answer, I'll go. I'll never bother you again.."

He looked right into her eyes, feeling more vulnerable than ever.

As the tears gently rolled down his cheek, he said,

"I need you, Theia. I need you by my side. I need you to be by my side at every moment of my day, not just at fancy rich parties, but by my side when i wake up to find you curled up in the sheets, when I make coffee for us and you scoff at the amount of sugar i put in our latte, when there's something on my cheek during lunch and you offer to kiss it off. when i have trouble sleeping at nights and you offer to cuddle me until i feel safe. when i hate the movie you pick, and doze off with my head of your shoulder. I would always need you. But.. what if.. one day.. we don't need each other anymore?"

"what if one day.. say when you've completed your third year here and get a job in a place far away, away from me, away from us. what if there's no "us" anymore? what if you find someone better? what if one day, i end up badly heartbroken, if you ever do so? better keep my distance to lessen the pain, isnt it? Im replaceable, after all."

She couldn't believe the words he said, the feelings he was going through. She felt more horrible than ever for lashing out at him when he felt all of this.

She held his hand, and guided him to one of the beds. they sat down together, with her head on his shoulders. Tonight, roles were reversed, she was the one comforting him.

"I didn't know you felt all of this, and im sorry that I misjudged your behaviour."

she rubbed his arms, soothingly and continued,

"I dont know how to tell you this, but i can never go away from you, ever. for physically we may be apart but emotionally and mentally, i find my home and my residence in your heart. I just-"

she took a deep breath.

"I just love you so much. I dont want you to drift apart from me. and from us. I maybe a doctor and such sentimental stuff may sound crazy, coming outta my mouth but, I just want to make one thing clear."

she carefully removed her head from his shoulders and turned to look at him.

"Dr. Bryce Lahela, your name is engraved in my every heartbeat. Other people may try to change it, but I know they're gonna fail, as I don't love anyone else apart from you. Do i make this clear?"

Bryce's lips curled into his classic beautiful smile as he started to speak, but Theia cut him off.

"and you better not call yourself replaceable next time, or im gonna punch you so hard."

she playfully punched him, earning a hearty laugh from him.

"Now, now Valentine, would you give me the mic to talk?"

She nodded and he continued.

"I don't think I expected a love confession to be in the very room we hooked up, ans honestly its kind of iconic, though i expected a few roses and all that glam..."

".. but you're enough to make my heart leap with joy. No roses needed, no chocolates required."

he took a moment to choose his words,

"I may be good at giving prep talks and all that stuff, but wow, I suck at this. Its probably cause i never did this before.. so let me get to it.. I love you too, Theia."

Theia crashed her lips into his for a fulfilling kiss as they both shared tears of joy, finally confessing their love after 2 years of pure longing and messing around.

"Whew, who thought these simple 4-5 words would be so hard to say?"

She simply nodded as she wrapped her hands around his for those precious moments of bliss and joy.

yes, the walls, the beds, the room and the infrastructure around them changed, but they were still the same 2 people as from before, with the same love and feelings in their heart.

and no amount of change could ever change that.

#playchoices #bryce lahela #bryce x mc #t fic tag #open heart #i dont know how to write lol

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fanfic-me-up · 4 years

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okay so i kinda got carried away with this one??? i just really love this idea and how freaking fluffy it is! so thank you for submitting it @peachy-yabbay! 😊 also lowkey im sorta falling in love with kaminari?? like he’s so fun to write and i had a smile the entire time. anyway i rlly hope you enjoy!

Feel free to request more here. I write fics, drabbles, and headcanons 💖

Also, I have a yoga fic already posted with bakugou x fem!reader so if this doesn’t satisfy your need of bakugou being a flexible pretzel and failing you can read more here 😂

Bakugou Katsuki

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL

like Bakugou prides himself on going to the gym everyday, but he focuses on strength training and muscle building

the art of flexibility takes time, effort, and perseverance

he gets super frustrated when he can't get the splits in 2.5 seconds

“Careful or you might pull something.”

he ignores you ofc bc for some reason he thinks he’s gonna get the splits if he just - forces himself???

“seriously, Bakugou, don’t push so much-”

“Shut up I know what I’m - OW SHIT FUCKING HELL”

poor bby is on the ground cradling his thigh bc he pulled his hamstring

And lemme tell you THAT SHIT HURTS 😭

he’s literally screaming bloody murder

-like he’s faced a lot of pain from hero training but pulling your hamstring is just so. much. worse???

you grab an icyhot pack (aka you grab Todoroki lol) but Bakugou’s just like “hell no fuck off half n half”

“Must be bad. I heard you crying from downstairs-”

“I SAID FUCK OFF” Todoroki shrugs and leaves.

you roll your eyes at Bakugou’s stubbornness and grab some muscle balm instead

“Tch. I can do it myself” but you ignore him and rub the balm on his thigh, he doesn’t fight it

after that whole fiasco he finally listens to your warnings when you tell him that's enough

he’s in the splits in a little over a month!

“Oh my god, Bakugou, you’re doing it!”

“Tch. I know.”

you don’t miss the small smile on his face

he goes up to you later and shoves something in your hands

“Um. What’s this?”

“A movie ticket” you stare at it blankly, he rolls his eyes

“I’m taking you to the movies tonight, dumbass.”

“Like a date?” you stare up with hopeful eyes

“The fuck? No! As payment.”

you blink, clearly confused

“You know… for helping me with my stretches.”

Oh.

you blush in embarrassment at the misunderstanding

“I’ll meet you out front at 7. Don’t be late.” he walks off, but before he reaches the corner he stops-

“Ugh fine! It’s a date! Happy!?”

you erupt in the biggest smile

he wants to be the only one to make you smile like that from now on

Todoroki Shouto

Todoroki is impressed with how flexible you are, and you’re quite surprised when he asks you to help him

the most aloof - and handsome - guy in your class you’ve barely spoken TWO words to has come to you for help??? is this a dream? someone pinch you 👀

but there you are, the next day in his dorm, gently pushing his hips down

Todoroki’s working on his warrior/scorpion pose (ya’ll there's so many names for this pose jfc the one where you’re standing on one leg, back arched, and you’re holding the other leg above your head)

he’s sweating and breathing heavily, and when you go to steady him, you actually burn your hand on his bicep.

“Ouch!”

“Are you okay?”

he’s hovering over you the next second, you show him your hand, a blister already forming

“Damn it. I still have trouble controlling my left side,” he looks away from you, clenching his fists, “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” you blow cool air on the wound to stop the tingling, “all better,” you smile up at him

“Here, let me,” he pulls his shirt up to reveal his stomach and places your hand on the right side. You sigh in relief as your hand is instantly cooled.

Uh oh.

you realize where your hand is currently pressed against 😳

you’re so tempted to trace along the hard contours of his abs

“Y/N? You’re burning up.” he touches your cheek, your heart doing somersaults at the closeness

“Oh-kay, that’s enough for today!” you squeak, running away from a thoroughly confused Todoroki

Todoroki shows excellent progress in just a couple weeks. He says it’s because he has a great teacher, but you know it's his work ethic and how he listens to your advice and applies it flawlessly.

He’s even gotten better at controlling his left side since he’s constantly relaxing his muscles to get deeper in the stretch.

it happens during warm-ups before training

Class 1-A goes into some stretches when you see Todoroki go into a perfect scorpion. His back perfectly arched and his leg reaching above his head.

“Oh my god, Todoroki, you’re doing it!” you clap your hands in excitement

“Am I?”

...is this boy for real? lol

“YES” you laugh at his stoic expression

“I see.” He softly comments before going into another stretch.

your shoulders deflate, disappointed at the lack of enthusiasm

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” he cracks a small smile and your breath is taken away by the simple gesture. It’s rare to see him with such a soft expression, and the fact that you’re the reason for it sends your heart aflutter.

AND bc he’s totally oblivious to your current state, he goes up to you and whispers, “you’re an amazing teacher, Y/N”

“It was n-nothing re-really it was a-all you!” you laugh awkwardly, unable to meet his eyes.

“How can I thank you?”

“It-it’s really n-not necessary!”

“Hmm…” he walks away deep in thought and you’re just standing there like the stuttering mess you are bc how dare he walk away like nothing!?

Mina’s got your back tho bc frankly it's quite sad how awkward you are and how oblivious Todoroki is that she NEEDS to become the captain of this ship stat

She “casually” suggests to Todoroki that he should take you out to eat as a thank you for helping him.

and when he walks you to your door that night he says, “I hope you enjoyed our date”

“D-date?” cue the butterflies in your stomach

“Was it not a date?” You’re pinned by his intense gaze, but you manage to squeak out a “yes!” in your confused daze. He chuckles at your nervousness

“Have a good night, Y/N.” he kisses your cheek

and when you give Mina the details of your date there’s a bunch of squealing from her end and you’re just like 😳 the entire night

Kaminari Denki

“Woah, Y/N, you’re really flexible. Can you put your foot over your head?”

You show him and he’s totally amazed. “Cool! Can you teach me? I wanna put BOTH legs over my head!”

first day of stretching with Kaminari is… def a day you remember

“Ow ow! Y/N, don’t break me!”

“Denki, I’m not even touching you!”

He looks up where your hands are on your hips

“oh... heh” he gives you a sheepish smile

You roll your eyes. How you’re gonna get this boy flexible enough to put his foot over his head is beyond you, but you’re happy it’s going to take a while - it means more time spent with your crush

You spend an hour with Kaminari each day to perfect his stretching routine (It should only take about 20 minutes, but the boy’s got the attention span of a newborn puppy)

“Woah check out that cloud, Y/N.” Kaminari looks in awe at the sky. You sigh, not again

“Denki, we’re not done, get back in the stretch”

“Look Y/N,” he points, “doesn’t it look exactly like baby yoda?” He lies down on the grass to gaze at the clouds

“Oh my god, Denki, I’m gonna kill - oh wow…” you gaze up in awe at the cloud, “baby yoda…”

You and Kaminari spend the rest of the hour cloud gazing

After literal MONTHS of getting on Kaminari’s ass he can FINALLY put his legs over his head.

He calls out to you during a training exercise, “Y/N LOOK I DID IT!”

“NOT ONE BUT TWO!” he points at both of his legs with a huge smile

You feel a rush of happiness because even after how frustrated you were with him at times, you would do it a million times over if it meant getting to see such a pure smile.

“Congrats!” you say, “Now, stand up so I can give you a hug!”

“Um…” he sheepishly looks up at you, “I’m kinda... stuck?”

You roll your eyes affectionately, “the things I do for you.”

You’re about to help Kaminari when Bakugou shoves him backwards giving everyone in class a clear view of his ass in the air 😂

“Hah, dumbass.”

Kaminari waddles helplessly side to side

“Y/N?” he squeaks, “a little help here?”

Later that week he tells you he found a yoga class for both of you to take and you’re surprised. He still wants to spend time with you?

But then he says, “Are you crazy? Why wouldn’t I wanna spend time with the coolest person I know?”

You choke on your tea, in disbelief at his words - that was a huge compliment and you know Kaminari is a very open person so you just brush it off with an “Oh stop it…”

“No I’m serious, Y/N, you’re awesome. Like super awesome,” he gives an awkward laugh while rubbing the back of his neck

“I’ve been thinking… maybe after yoga, we can, i don't know... hit up the arcade or something? Or it doesn’t have to be the arcade, it could be anything really!”

You’ve never seen Kaminari this flustered before. He’s the type to brush off his mistakes with a laugh, always moving on to the next moment.

“No, the arcade sounds fun!”

You reassure him and the confident light in his eyes returns

“Oh and Denki?”

“Yeah?”

“Prepare to get rekt in mario kart”

This starts a whole ass play fight about who’s gonna get dunked on when racing down rainbow road

#bakugou x reader #todoroki x reader #kaminari x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #todoroki shouto x reader #kaminari denki x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha #mha #bnha headcanon #katsuki bakugou x reader #shouto todoroki x reader #denki kaminari x reader #bnha fluff #fanfic-me-up #fanfic-me-up request

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hikari-writes · 4 years

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❅A Love Letter I Have to My Lovely and Beloved Friends❅

(I just know that 30 july was a national friendship day and today is like 31 july already at where I am but,,, just pretend that this is also for National Friendship Day 🤡🔫)

As you all know, it's been confirmed that I'll be going on a hiatus two days from now that I really don't know how long it will go on. So, with that in mind, I wished to leave this message to all the wonderful friends I've made while I was active here on Tumblr during quarantine.

I've started this writing blog a few months ago, to be precise, on May where life in quarantine was starting to become a norm. In the few months until now, I did my best to start writing and drawing more using all the free times that I have.

I wouldn't have expected this blog to grow so much in such a short time. To me, it was really mind blowing, seeing that there's a lot of other great content creators here on Tumblr. Yet, the 300+ people who stumbled upon my blog still decided to follow me.

I was really happy to have made many contents that I'm actually proud of posting. And I still can't believe there are people out there who love them. Seeing every one of your comments and reblogs and likes really, really, squeezed my heart and I couldn't be more thankful for your support.

And during these fun times, I was able to make friends with many amazing, talented, fantastic and all the good words I could find in the dictionary people on here. You all are a real gift to me and I hold you guys close to my heart.

I still can't believe I was able to befriend you guys though, like, y'all are so amazing and I was just here like squeaking my name to you like a shy mice lmao. =///= Anyways, thank you for all the good and fun times. Thank you for being with me and helping me with lots of things. Just, thank you for everything. (I'm writing this at 1am like it's sad hours yall I'm crying :')))

If you are ever feeling down, do not ever forget that, even if it's only me, I'll support you to the end of the world because you're just so amazing and fantastic. I love you and never let any hate that's thrown at you let you down because they aren't worth your time.

The people I'll be mentioning below are my dear friends or just people that I have been interacting with during the times I was online, little or not, I still consider you guys to be my friends (very self-proclaimed here sorry)and I'm still honoured by that fact.

@your-local-bnha-writer -Bean, you and your posts are always so wholesome and cute and I love them. Keep being amazing, and we may not interact much, but I still appreciate every little convos we had. Also, wish you luck on tpn, that shit hurted :')

@identifybby -Liaaaa, omg im so v v grateful we became friends. You've helped me with a tons of things and I can't thank you enough for everything you've done to me. You're just so amazing and thank you for always putting up with me, i love you sm.

@minteasketches -Mintea! You're such an amazing artist and I rlly enjoyed our conversations! You might not see this since you're off socmed but just wanna let u know that thank u for being my friends.

@yandere-of-your-dreams -Heyyy sis,, you're always such a sweet bean to me and showering me w love and i appreciate them, stay amazing and I'm sure you'll become an amazing writer.

@shotobabe -Ren, wifey, ilysm thank u for always being with me. You're such an awesome person and keep on being yourself. You're perfect and talented, don't let others tell you otherwise. AND while I'm gone, don't forget to drink lots of water okay? I won't be able to remind you while I'm on a hiatus, but please always remember to drink water. That'd be the first thing I'll ask you once I'm able to be online. And please try to eat more okay bb? I love u.

@takumipineapplexd -Taku! Amazing writer and amazing editor, yes I'm talking about you. You're amazing and keep on making cursed content and being crackhead, i love them.

@bnhabadass -We might not talk much, but I just want to let you know that you're so amazing and I look up to u v much. Literally had a heart attack when u commented on angel wings lmao.

@tomomoni -Mon, love, soft bean, I LOVE U. You've always been so wholesome and cute to every one of your followers and seeing ur interactions literally heals my heart. Your art is amazing so continue being amazing ilysm thank u for being an amazing advisor and listener, I'm v grateful for that. You have no idea how blessed I am to have you as a friend. Meeting you through turn on your airdrop's fanart was F A T E.

@kamabukokompachiro -First time u asked my permission to read my fanfic, I legit teared up. Thank u sm for asking, I couldn't be happier to know that my fic is worthy to be read over for a yt channel. Keep on being amazing and ily.

@kaminii -Kamiiiii, sweet child, you're always so matured and calm and I really adore and respect that part of you (unlike me im v childish and rash) You're an amazing writer and editor and ur aesthetic? 100/10. Love it. You're so talented despite being so young and I'm just, WOW. Ily and thank u for being friends w me. And please fix your sleeping schedule bb. It's rlly not good for your health, like please? Ily.

@katsucutie -I love you and your writing so v much, and I rlly enjoyed talking to you, discussing about Burn Book was rlly fun. I might not be able to know the ending since im gonna go on a hiatus but I'll be sure to catch up to it once im back. Keep being amazing and awesome.

@isolshi -CHERIE, I LOVE YOU AND YOU'RE AMAZING. Don't be so insecure about your writing. They're amazing. And you're also one of the sweetest and cute person I've met here. I always love teasing you cause your reaction is always so funny and cute. Keep being awesome. And please, please, please get enough sleep and drink LOTS of water. I legit would cry if you don't drink more water cher.

@mirakeul -BIANCAAAAA LOVE YOU'RE SO AMAZING AND SWEET LiKE--- please, I love talking to you and thank you so much for always reminding me to eat. Your calligraphy and handwriting are awesome, shshh i don't take criticism. Never stop writing, I love them. And please never forget I love you and you're my best friend okay?

@roxybefab -You've always been the first to ask me to be on my taglist and I'm so v happy because of that. Thank you for everything, and keep on being awesome. You can do this, ily.

@princessofdawn718 -Talking to you about Hamefura has been so fun! I haven't talked w many ppl about isekai so im rlly glad I could talk about them w you. Katarina x nicol ftw! Thanks for talking to me, it was such a pleasure rlly.

@softkodzuken -Maam your writing is A M A Z I N G. I love anon sm and you're rlly so sweet for always replying to every single comment on them. Don't be so insecure about them, they're amazing and i will always stand by that point. Wishing you the best of luck for Undercover!

@lolitsleia -Your art is *chef's kiss* i love them so much, I still can't believe you hadn't had more recognition like why?? Ur oc alex is the cutest thing ever and i love her. Thank you again for drawing Yuki. She looked really beautiful and cute in your drawing.

@samanthaa-leanne -We may not talk much, but when you first followed me back, my heart goes B O O M. You're so amazing and keep being like that. And uh,, good luck with Violet Evergarden if you ever plan to watch it. Prepare a couple of tissue boxes....or dozens.

@miyumtwins -Fellow android users! I first saw you through Bean's post about a tag game and i was like *gasp* another androiders..! I swear that one time i was interacting w you, I didn't actually meant to go off anon,, yes im dumb lmao. Anyways, you're rlly amazing and I'm rlly honoured to be followed by you.

@kawasuno -Your smau? 100/10. Your sense of humour 100/10. They're just so perfect *chef's kiss* I love every one of your updates and they always managed to put a smile on my face, i was like, how did you do that? My sense of humour is nonexistant, teach me your ways sensei. But anyways, you're rlly amazing and awesome. Keep up w that.

@kukusbabe -Tsu, I've never said this, but it's you. It's always been you all along. What i mean is, I've followed you first (i knew u through zara's flopping server yeah!) And when i looked at my dash and saw all your interactions w your moots, despite me haven't legally started haikyuu yet, i decided to follow all of them, soooo if it's not for you, we may not have met each other. Everyone in the kita family, Tsu is the MVP here muah. Also your aesthethic and writing and everything is so kajsjhendnd amazing i LOvE---

@iwaixiumi -King Nami, you're so awesome and amazing,, and I'm really glad to be able to interact w you. All those songs you recommend? Yeah, I'm going to listen and love all of them, thank u so much for the recs. Keep being amazing and to everyone reading this, PLEASE INTERACT WITH KING NAMI MORE SHE DOESN'T BITE---

@shoutodoki -Hello, you're so amazing and talented and im just,,, kekkdjfjdj when you followed me--- and when u figured out i was the anon talking about oboro i was OAKSJEJDDJ please, i was so honoured u know, like ???? Anyways, keep on writing what you love and your art maam? THEY'RE AMAZING LIKE BOTH YOUR ART AND WRITING IS SO KAJSJDJDN pliS im so v honoured to be able to talk to you.

@lisarillia -Please excuse me while I go shout in the corner of how much i LOVE your arts. They're amazing and being able to talk to you was a real pleasure. Keep on doing what you love. They'll be amazing no matter what i swear.

@cutiedrawsbnha -Cutie, honey, you're amazing and your art is so cute! Don't let what haters said get to you. You're going to grow into an amazing artist. If you give in and listen to what they said, you're going to end up like what they said so ignore them honey! I believe in you so keep shipping izuocha, todomomo, and kamijirou and making arts. Lotsa love!

@lilikags -Heeyyyy you sweet cute innocent bean! Don't ever stop writing what you love, you'll grow into a big blog soon enough, before you know it. Just keep making what you love, and as time pass by, I'm sure there will be many people who will find appreciate everything you do. I'm always supporting you.

@baeshijima -SOPHHHHH YOU SWEET CUTE CINNAMON ROLL WAKATOSHI'S WIFE EYE--- You have NO idea how much i love you,, you're so sweet and I honestly don't know what did i do to deserve you. Srsly you're a blessing to me. Thank you for the sweet daily reminder in my inbox, i love each and every one of them. Keep being so cute and wholesome, love you.

@shinsuque -ANAAAAA Thanks again for the Bakugou's memes! I may not be able to do it before i go on a hiatus though *sobbing* Keep being so awesome! I love seeing all your interactions and you're so amazing i honestly don't know why you followed me----

@semiluvr -LYDIA *SOBBING* THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR INVITING ME TO THE KITA FAMILY. Even though we've known each other in less than a week, it already felt like I had known you guys for so long like whotttt. Keep being an amazing and sweet person ily muah

@dumbass-lev -MOMMY, MUI, ILY THANK U FOR ALWAYS BEING SO SWEET YOU'RE AMAZING,,, u have no idea how happy (and also flustered) I am when i saw you asking you want to adopt me like,,, whot I've never been asked to be adopted online b4 so you asking that was a big surprise to me and just,,, remember that i love you and you're an amazing mommy. Hope i wasn't too much too handle as your child lol and thank u, for asking to invite me to the server. It has been a real pleasure to me to be there.

@pudding-head-kenma -DANIE!! We haven't talked much and I've only known you for a short time but I really love your detailed analysis. They're amazing and you're amazing. Thank you for being so sweet and cute. Ily.

@/🦋 nonoi -🦋 NONOIIII!!! IF YOU'RE SEEING THIS, I JUST WANNA TELL YOU THANK YOU FOR BEING MY EMOJI ANON! I love you you're so sweet and bb please please please don't forget me id cry,,,

@astereim -Rein!!! I know we just talked and all but you seem to be a reaally cool and amazing person,, we might not be able to interact much since I need to go prepare things b4 i go on my hiatus though, but just wanna let u know that ily!

@tokoyamis-luv -please don't come for my neck i haven't been active on the server Lol but anyways, zara, you're amazing and your simping for Kurapika is always fun to watxh. Also all the lin manuel edits are *chef's kiss* we may not talk much but i was rlly honoured to be able to interact w you, even a little bit.

@engel-hageshii - YOU, MAAM are a literal angel, and your comments on my fics always managed to make me smile so much. I love you, please never stop being such a sweetheart.

@laylahoran -I've always loved and appreciate every comments you make. I'm v happy I was able to create a content that you can love. You and engel has been some of my firsts followers and I'm really blessed to have you two.

@oyasenpai -Diemmy! You're so sweet and cute and seeing your interaction w my moots (kami) was what made me follow you. Don't let what others said bring you down, okay? Just do what you want because there're always many people supporting you for it.

Special message to the kita family server;

Meanwhile while you guys were talking about me there, I was just innocently scrolling through Tumblr, not knowing what kind of fate I'll be receiving 👁👄👁 No wonder I was sneezing so much 🤧🤧🤧

So, I was just scrolling through the pinned messages and I saw tsu said "mui: can we invite hikari? Everyone here: kakskejdjdjdn" and i was just like,,, ??????? I wasn't expecting u guys to have that kind of reaction i--- yall have no idea how much i was grinning while I scroll through those messages. Thank you so much for inviting and accepting me, it's really fun to be with you guys and your crackhead energy 🥰🥰 Thank you to mui for suggesting you had no idea I was really really happy. 😭 Y'all are so amazing and sweet and cute and beautiful kakjdjdd

To all of my dear friends that I've mentioned above, I LOVE YOU LOTS YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GRATEFUL I AM TO MET YOU GUYS. Quarantine time has been stressful for a lot of people, and Tumblr can sometimes (a lot of times) be kinda whack but I was really happy to met you guys during my time here. Our time together may have been short, but i feel like we've known each other for more than a year, no caps. I love you all very very much. Thank you for talking to me and befriending me. Remember to get enough sleep, drink lots of water, stay safe and healthy, eat enough meals and, take care of yourself. I love you guys.

And lastly, to everyone reading this, whether i know you or not, or interacted with you or not, or follow you or not, or you follow me or not, just REMEMBER that you are worth it and I love you. Keep on being awesome, and always remember to smile, laugh and live. Don't forget to always DRINK LOTS OF WATER, GET ENOUGH SLEEP, and EAT ENOUGH MEALS.

Signing off,

Hikari.

#amazing talented people #sweet nice people 💕#a message #my dear friends

121 notes · View notes

muwur · 4 years

Note

idk if this counts as an emergency or comfort request but ive been havin a REAL bad body image week nsnnnsnnnsnn could i maybe request headcanons for either oikawa or kuroo (u can pick if u wanna) with an s/o who is rlly self conscious about being chubby/has a really hard time with food and mayb feels like worthless because theyre not the ideal body type? idk sorry if thats dumb aaaah thank u sm if u choose to do this

self-love

♡ scenarios ♡ for oikawa and kuroo

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.7k words

a/n: hey hun, im sorry to hear you’ve been having a rough time lately. this kind of request actually rlly hits close to home, and if u ever need anything, ur mor than welcome to reach out to me :) i can also help look for resources for help, anything really. this goes for all y’all! i dont want none y’all to feel alone with anything ur going thru cuz we’re in this together! and no need to thank me, the pleasure is mine luv 🥰💕 nothing about this is dumb, ur feelings are valid. i hope this will bring you n many others some comfort. also,, FUCK BODY STANDARDS MAKIN US BELIEVE THERE’S AN IDEAL TYPE BC THERE IS NONE N Y’ALL R BEAUTIFUL N IF U DUN THINK SO I WILL COME OVER DER,,, ok im done 🥰🥰 (more notes at the bottom of this, i talk a lot n think its important, didnt wanna add it up here bc it was too long lolol) tw: mentions of bad body and implies disordered eating behaviors

oikawa

♡ Oikawa was pretty keen, so when he observed a gradual shift in your behavior, he definitely took notice

♡ One day when you showed up to lunchtime empty-handed and sat with your two friends, casually chatting, Oikawa and Iwaizumi gave you a questioning look

♡ “Where’s your lunch, y/n?” Oikawa asked

♡ “Oh, I, uh, ate it already, actually.”

♡ Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow and offered you some of his, but you declined, thanking him and stating you were already full

♡ Later that day in class, however, Oikawa couldn’t help but notice the absence of your boxed lunch container in your unzipped backpack

♡ The next day, you came empty-handed again, blaming it on your forgetfulness during your rush to get to school

♡ However, it became a normal occurrence over time, and while you seemed fine, uneasiness began to prick inside Oikawa’s stomach

♡ Those smiles you wore appeared fragile, and the laughter that rumbled from your throat felt restrained

♡ You seemed more tired and unfocused than usual

♡ Preoccupied, withdrawn, and distant

♡ He could sense something was bothering you, no matter how much you may (or may not) have tried to hide it

♡ On his way to school one morning, he made sure to stop by a convenience store to pick one of your favorite snacks, thinking it was a simple gesture to brighten up the somber aura he’s been detecting from you

♡ “I have a surprise for you, y/n~” Oikawa announced with excitement, rummaging through his bag to pull out the snack and show it to you. “Look, it’s your favorite!”

♡ You could only offer him an uneasy smile, “Oh, you shouldn’t have...” You really shouldn’t have...

♡ When he noticed the tension in your body and expression, a frown appeared on his lips

♡ “Y/n? Is something wrong?” He reached out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder but you swiftly flinched away

♡ ”I’m fine..!”

♡ Surprised at your sudden movement and outburst, you both felt a split second of apprehension crackle in the air before you started to gather your items in a rush

♡ Sighing, you repeated, “I’m fine.”

♡ He wasn’t sure whether you were speaking to him or yourself

♡ “Thanks for the snack, but I’ll pass. Have it for me. You need it more, anyways; you have volleyball practice. I’ll see you tomorrow, Oikawa,” you offered him a solemn smile and left before he could even reply

♡ Some time had passed before he could finally get you to open up to him

♡ And when you did, it crushed his heart to see how much your insecurities broke you

♡ It hurt to hear how low you thought about yourself; how you couldn’t see the beauty in your being; how you deemed food, your body, and yourself as your worst enemies

♡ Thus bringing you to the conclusion that maybe you’d be happy and like yourself if you could just give up that midday snack or your school lunch

♡ Even raincheck a cafe date you were supposed to have together

♡ Maybe also skip dinner, sometimes breakfast the next morning as well

♡ You could manage on just water

♡ Little sacrifices to shed some weight, feel better, and get closer to your ideal body goals

♡ You admitted, however, to questioning whether any of it was worth it

♡ The constant states of hunger, pain, and defeat you lived in

♡ Only to feel as though you were getting nowhere

♡ Oikawa was well aware of today’s beauty standards. I mean, he himself was often praised for his natural charm and beauty

♡ And you felt you could never reach that ideal

♡ “Oikawa, you’re too good for me.”

♡ His eyebrows knitted in concern as he lifted his right hand to caress your cheek softly. “And why do you say that?”

♡ Tears threatened to prick at your eyes. All you could was stare at the ground in silent shame

♡ When you still said nothing, he leaned in closer, his brown gaze softly pleading

♡ “Y/n, look at me.”

♡ When your eyes flickered up to meet his own, Oikawa asked, “You know I love you, right?”

♡ His question was met with a meek, “Yes.”

♡ From your clouded glaze, he could tell that you had a hard time believing in your own response

♡ “Do you know why?”

♡ But before you could respond, he was already answering his own question

♡ “Well...” he began, glancing up in thought and wearing a small smile

♡ “Something about you makes me want to be by your side. I love to see your smiles and hear your laughter, but I always want to be there to hold you when you’re crying and in pain.”

♡ “You’re supportive. You understand what I need, and I don’t always have to explain myself to you. You take your time with me and make me feel like I can be myself. Not many people have stuck around to actually get to know me. Because of that, you’ve never failed to make my day a little better with just your presence.”

♡ “You’re strong and caring. I can rely on you to have my back, and I hope I provide that same comfort to you as well.”

♡ “I love being able to lazy around with you or go on adventures and discover something new. It’s comfortable and exciting at the same time.”

♡ “Your hands feel like they were made to hold mine.”

♡ He reached down to squeeze your hand gently

♡ “Kissing you makes me forget about everything else on my mind. I can just live in the present with you.”

♡ He moved close and gave you a peck above your eyebrow

♡ “You make me want to work hard and be a better person. You help motivate me to try my best, and you never give up on me. Why would I ever give up on you?”

♡ “I learn something new with you everyday. Like right now, I realize that I’ve never met someone who could so easily make my heart race as they could make my heart break.”

♡ “When I look at you, all I can think about is how beautiful you are and how lucky I am to have you in my life as a partner and one of my best friends. Nobody else could fill the gaps within me the same way you do.”

♡ Leaning over to brush his lips against your forehead, he muttered, “I’m going to love every part of you, inside and out. You’re already my ideal. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I could go on about every detail on why I feel so strongly for you, but I’m here to show you everything there is to appreciate about yourself because you’re worth every ounce of care and effort. And if you can’t see it in yourself right now, I’ll love you more than enough for the both of us until you learn to love yourself. I’m here to help.”

♡ And after crying out your tears into his shoulder as he held you close and rubbed your back, you both went to his house to relax and have some dinner

♡ He was patient with you, taking into account how having a meal may have made you feel anxious

♡ It was something small and simple that you two agreed to prepare and share, after some tender coaxing from Oikawa

♡ He later made a list in his journal about tips to keep in mind:

♡ ‘Check up on y/n often to see how they’re feeling’

♡ ‘Encourage them to eat meals/snacks. Don’t be too pushy, but be patient. Try to have eat with them when you can!’

♡ ‘Remind them they don’t have to earn the right to eat, and that their body doesn’t define their worth‘

♡ ‘Look into some mindfulness techniques!’

♡ ‘Don’t overvalue physical appearance. Also focus on all the other redeeming qualities y/n has! But of course I’m always gonna tell them they look cutee--’

♡ True to his word, he remained understanding

♡ He’s there to listen to you, or to sit with you in comforting silence

♡ During lunch he would share his food with you, reassuring you that it wasn’t something you had to avoid

♡ Some days he succeeds in encouraging you to share a milk bun or your favorite snack with him

♡ And on days you really didn’t feel like it, he never forces anything onto you and instead made sure you at least hydrated

♡ Oikawa spends some time doing research and gathering tips on how to help you

♡ Always reminds you of your worth and how you bring out the best in him

♡ He’ll never hold it against you if you ever become hostile, irritated, or in denial. He knows you’re hurting and doesn’t take it personally

♡ Sends you cute memes with all those emoji hearts

♡ Also some food puns (Oikawa: “I’m soy into you. Please brie mine. We are mint to be. I ap-peach-iate you. You got a pizza my heart. Olive you--” ; You: *puts a hand over his mouth* ; Oikawa: 🥺 ; You: “...olive you, too”)

♡ Always ready to give up what he’s doing to make sure you’re okay

♡ Will stay up with you late at night to talk on the phone

♡ Reminds you you’re beautiful at least 8 times a day

♡ If y’all ever go shopping and you try things on in the fitting room,, Oikawa would be your #1 hype man

♡ One time you tried something on, and you were almost too ashamed to step out and show him

♡ But when you did, you were met with his surprise and excitement

♡ “dfghjklkuyfuh” was all you could process from his incoherent speech before he insisted on treating you by purchasing it for you (Oikawa: “Can you wear this for me, like, everyday?” ; You: *weird look* “Why are you like this??” you love it tho--)

♡ Gushes internally over how cute you are during your movie + cuddle sessions, mostly pays attention to you rather than the movie

♡ Mid-movie be like:

♡ Oikawa: “So, uh, what’s happening again?

♡ You: -.- “You might as well google the whole synopsis instead of watching it”

♡ Oikawa: “...it’s not my fault you’re distracting, babe”

♡ Always politely excuses himself from his fangirls to get to you. Also reassures you he much prefers to be with you than anyone else and that you’re the best catch ;)) (You: “Oikawa, no” ; Oikawa: “y/n, yes”)

♡ Suggested doing some meditation together once

♡ You listened to a recording and you sat side by side on a mat, but Oikawa thought the person’s voice sounded funny so he had a hard time focusing

♡ But it ended with y’all laughing and making jokes as he lay his lead on your lap and you played with his hair

♡ Y’all get better at it tho

♡ Cooking dates! To try to show you that food isn’t an enemy and can bring people together :)

♡ Puts music on so y’all can jam together (Oikawa: “Oh my gosh, y/n, this is my favorite song, you’re not even rEADY to see me perform-- ; You: “Oikawa, t-the food! It’s burning!!”)

♡ Cooking dates also show that you should never leave the stove unattended

♡ Every once in a while he suggests seeking professional help. He wishes he could take away your pain and help you all his own, but he knows this is more complicated and required outside help, too

♡ Has help resources READY

♡ As well as small snacks like granola bars for you if you ever feel faint

♡ He doesn’t hesitate to confront you when he feels it’s necessary and he’s worried about your habits

♡ He handles things well, though, and often convinces you to take care of yourself more, even though he’s there to look after you

♡ Has made it his mission to help you win against your battle with insecurities

♡ Overall, he’s very caring and empathetic, hoping one day you’ll see yourself the way he sees you 💖 : strong, amazing, breathtaking, & perfectly imperfect

kuroo

♡ Occasionally, you would think about the day you broke down in front of him

♡ Your body racked with repressed whimpers as you tried to wipe the tears from your eyes and describe the recent state of your mind through choked sobs

♡ Lately, your thoughts were being especially relentless in making you feel miserable

♡ Oftentimes you’d be able to shove the negative thoughts to the back of your mind and carry on your day as usual, expertly acting as though everything in your life was going smoothly

♡ However, you found yourself fighting a losing battle against your own conscious, heavily preoccupied with thoughts of your own worthlessness

♡ And so you tried to cope

♡ But you were painfully aware of everything you felt was wrong with you

♡ You felt uncomfortable in your skin

♡ Every time you passed by your own reflection, you couldn’t help but mentally recoil at the image looking back at you

♡ Your clothes didn’t fit right

♡ Even when you opted for baggy clothes, you felt like you were taking up all the space in them

♡ Maybe it was the weight gain. You could see and feel it in your face, your arms, your stomach, your legs... everywhere

♡ You just wanted to hide away your shame

♡ Perhaps it was the dessert you allowed yourself to eat the other day. Foolish of you to think then that you wouldn’t regret it as much as you did afterwards

♡ As a consequence of those foolish actions, you made mental notes about anything and everything you ate. What it was, how much of it you had, etc

♡ Trying to restrict so that maybe you would lose some weight and come to like how you look

♡ Your obsessive thoughts of food and weight overtook your mind like a dark cloud

♡ Your favorite foods, which before would never fail to brighten your mood, taunted you with shame and guilt

♡ Exercise? Sometimes it was an activity you genuinely enjoyed. Other times, a chore that made you feel shitty or numb and reinforced your unhealthy desire to lose

♡ And you sometimes found yourself crying over your last meal, one you know you didn’t need. One you didn’t deserve

♡ And each time you released the reins on your self-control, you felt pathetic going against the vow you made to yourself

♡ At this rate, you’d never be beautiful or be happy with yourself

-You’d remain unworthy, fat, disgusting--

-But before you could continue, your story was cut off by the impact of Kuroo’s embrace

-Your surprise silenced your sobs, and you could only stare wide-eyed at the space in front of you as you felt his arms squeeze tightly around your frame

-You both sat there for a few moments on your knees, with your back lightly leaning against a wall

- “I’m sorry for the pain you’re experiencing,” he begins softly. “Thank you for sharing with me. It must’ve taken a lot for you to do that.”

-He was right. It was your first time reaching out to another person about this. It was the last thing you thought you would’ve done today

- “I want to let you know that you shouldn’t be ashamed for feeling this way. Reaching out is important and brings you the help you need to get better. I know you might not want help right now or think that these thoughts and behaviors are a problem. However, telling me about all this shows that some part of you is recognizing there’s something wrong and you can’t always handle it on your own.”

-There were many reasons you kept this to yourself. You didn’t want to bother anyone else. Your problems seemed so trivial. You worried saying them aloud would confirm your beliefs. You were scared people would see you differently. You--

-The intrusive thoughts never failed to make you feel ashamed

-However, it was oddly comforting to release the pent up emotions. To know you didn’t have to bottle up this burden anymore, and that you weren’t alone

-You were about to murmur in response when,

- “Also, you’re an idiot, y/n.”

- “Wow, thanks, as if I don’t already think that about myself,” you bit back in response

-You were about to shove him away just when he released his grip around your body and placed his hands on your shoulders

-His eyes shone with determination and a faint, inviting smile spread on his lips

- “You are the one of the single most important things in my life. I just mean you’re an idiot in the sense that you’re overevaluating one aspect to define your whole self. You’ve forgotten about all your other redeeming qualities that contribute to who you are.”

♡ “Your size, weight, shape; none of that matters. What matters is your health and happiness. Neglecting yourself in order to reach an ‘ideal’ that you’ve concluded is the answer to your self-worth is only bringing you farther away from what you truly want.”

♡ “I don’t mean to downplay any of your emotions or how significant this is to you. Your first step was to put your trust into someone else about this. That’s done. Now, I’m here to help you undergo self-evaluation and serve as encouragement on your journey to self-love and acceptance.”

♡ “I also want to remind you progress is not linear. There will be times when things are harder, and that’s okay; it’s part of the process. If you’re open to getting better in the future, I’m sure as hell going to be there every step of the way.”

♡ And with a soft peck to the forehead and another hug, he nuzzled into your neck and muttered, “I love you. And I want you to love yourself. So, please, allow me to help you through this and I guarantee that by the end of it all, it’ll have been so worth it.”

♡ Unsure what to say, you gripped his jacket tighter, buried your head in his shoulder, and muttered, “Thank you.”

♡ While the negative feelings about yourself remained afterward, you were relieved that your boyfriend was supportive and calm

♡ He treated you the same as always, teasing you over dumb things while making you feel like you stood among the highest peaks on Earth

♡ The day after, he had shown up to your house, weary-eyed and carrying his backpack

♡ “Kuroo? Why are you here? Also, why do you look so tired??”

♡ He stepped into your house with a yawn. He stretched his arms, then reached for his bag and whipped out his laptop

♡ “I stayed up a bit last night to do some research, babe! I also learned a lot about nutrition and molecular gastronomy, so I could help you come up with a meal plan that you’re okay with!”

♡ You were touched he was educating himself on how to help you

♡ But you drew the line at the science jokes-- (Kuroo: “You know you love them.” ; You: “‘Na’ I don’t.” ; Kuroo: :ooo “Did you just-- Marry me.”) (Na = sodium lol)

♡ His nutritional research helped you to learn the contents of food beyond calories; mans explains the vitamins, nutrients, amino acids, etc in them that you need and their benefits

♡ “Trout, avocados, and almonds have vitamin E, which is good for your skin! Oh, and don’t get me started on bananas. Yes, they have carbs (which your body needs anyway as a source of energy!), but POTASSIUM?? Shit’s gonna regulate your fluid balance, maintain heart health, stimulate normal muscle function, AND help your brain to communicate with the rest of your body!”

♡ ALSO cooking dates; just as chaotic (“Aw mannn, the egg exploded all over the microwave!” dont ask y it was being microwaved)

♡ Over time, he’s taken mental notes about your thoughts, feelings, triggers, etc

♡ He’s quick to pick up on your mood and will always ask you how you’re doing

♡ Tries to do something special for you on days you’re especially not feeling well, like taking you on a spontaneous date! (You: “Do you know how to ice skate?” ; Kuroo: “Uhh,,, after today, I will hopefully”)

♡ But will also opt for staying in with you and cuddling when you don’t want to go out (Kuroo: “I heard this movie is soooo bad! ...wanna watch it?”)

♡ Invited you to the beach with his team during the first week of summer

♡ You were unsure about this, since that meant going out in public, potentially with minimal clothing

♡ You initially sat on a beach towel under an umbrella, wearing the security of a T-shirt. He’d been aware of how you felt ever since he asked you to come, so he would sit with you and link an arm around your shoulder

♡ “I’m lucky I get to spend this day with you,” he’d say. “You look gorgeous. You always do. Now, I wanna see you smile and have fun. Let’s go take a dip, yeah?” He offered his hand, which you shyly took, and pulled you up

♡ Then immediately picked you up and started running to the water to get you soaking wet, and you were forced to ditch the heavy, waterlogged shirt

♡ However, you silently thanked him for his sweet words, making you feel secure enough to just forget your worries and enjoy the warm sun and cool water

♡ He also tries his best to lessen your anxieties over food and often shares/eats meals with you

♡ Reminds you everyday how much you’re worth to him and that there’s nothing about you that needs to change

♡ This sweet, protective, n smart boi will treat you how you deserve. It’s a guarantee he’ll be there through thick and thin, and he’s excited for the day you realize you’re just as amazing as he knows you are 💕

a/n: oop this was rlly long lol mb, i just may or may not personally know a bit about this so i went oFF

also neded to some som silly n fluff bc we all need dat

also, these r like kinda hc’s ?? but also a deconstructed oneshot/scenario?? bc they provide some rly brief bg story? one from more of the character perspective while the other more on y/n before we get to the hc’s about how he treats y/n. how everyone struggles w body image is different n i wanted to portray a bit of what it felt like and how it could manifest in ppl’s behaviors/thoughts. however, this is not to say that everyone feels exactly like this. what i wrote only represents a fraction of it all.

by providing some sort of bg i hope im not making u feel like this isnt u or that u cant relate, pls lmk if i need to change anything to make it right for u <3 ok now im actually done sry long author’s note rfguhofe this is just rlly important to me y’all , stay safe n take care, much luv for u <3

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu reader insert #haikyuu x reader angst #oikawa x reader #kuroo x reader #oikawa tooru #kuroo tetsurou #haikyuu x reader fluff #tw

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hufflautia · 4 years

Note

Hope you’ve had a great day today 💛

funnily enough, i literally just stopped crying. today was a bad day, I don't know

why but my anxiety was just quite bad today and I was panicking before school started. something happened in my first class and I overthink a lot, so my mind was like, “oh my god why did they write your name last, do they hate me, am I boring, am I forgetful, people are always forgetting about me” and “my teacher doesn't like me, why didn't he respond, I'm embarrassed, why did you have to say what you said??” my English teacher does these “mindfulness” moments in which we sit in silence for a minute and reflect on the day, and I literally started crying. after the minute ended, I just stopped bc I didn't feel like crying anymore, and suddenly my brain said, “ur so fake, ur just acting, why did u stop crying all of a sudden, u just want attention u crave attention ur such a faker!!” also I keep thinking about something that happened years ago with my dad, I don't rlly wanna get into it but I think it would be good if I just say it so that its not jammed in my head. basically, I was really young, like in elementary school; my dad asked me if i wanted to sleep in his room with him, and originally, my mom was sleeping with him and i shared a room with my little brother. however, i was like hmm maybe, and then my dad said, haha ill pay u 5 dollars. at the time, i said YAY OK but now i realized that's so fucking creepy, yall know what its insinuating right?? anyways, i said ok, bc it was just a change from the usual sleep schedule and i liked spending time w my dad, so my mom went to my brothers room (it was a king-sized bed so it was ok, it wasn't a small bed that we had to share or anything like that) and i went to my parents room. basically, what happened was that we went to sleep, and in the middle of the night, (the next part makes me feel so uncomfortable and i feel queasy writing it) my dad slapped my butt really really hard to the point where i woke up and i was like ?????? and then he rubbed it softly immediately afterwards. i didnt know what happened, and i told my sister the day after, and she was confused too. recently i was thinking about it and I'm still confused and a lot more uncomfortable with what happened. here is my theory and i was very upset by it bc no one would want to think things like this- maybe my dad likes hurting women during sex and it was a reflex that night, but once he realized it was me, he tried “soothing me” or some shit by rubbing my butt (i literally hate this, i hate the fact that this happened and i don't like typing it out). no one wants to think about their parents sex life so this was just disgusting to think about. also my brother and mom keep arguing and fighting with each other, and I'm sure i have trauma from hearing my parents argue all the time so i rlly don't like it when they fight. my brother has explosive anger and he literally screams at her, which is very disrespectful; however, she screams at him too and sometimes hurts him, which scares me. I'm not worried about my own safety, I just hate violence i hate abuse, that scares me. so much stuff has happened in my life, and it results in a lot of trauma and other stuff that i don't even know about. i just know im really fucked up, im damaged and it just all felt like crashing down on me today- like everything thats happened, i was feeling anxious for no reason, i was thinking about the past, and i started crying again while watching netflix after school, so i just kept crying and i talked to myself out loud about my day and why i was feeling the way i was. that did help to some extent, and after i did that, i stopped crying, and then my brain said “why do you shut off your crying so easily, you seem fake, you seem like you wanna be sad and cry just so that you can see your pretty little tears drip down ur face like an actress, ur so fake ur so fake ur faking it ur not actually sad”, and the hardest part was that i didnt even object to it bc i didnt feel like anything was real, i felt like i didnt know who i was. i was like ok bitch whatever maybe ur right maybe i am faking it. i dont even know how to explain it, but its like being tired of that nagging and negative voice that you just submit to it, and you say ok whatever sure i am faking it, but in truth, the sadness i was feeling was real and genuine. about 10 min ago, i saw that someone tagged me in a fanfic and while i was reading it, i literally started bawling. i guess it was bc i saw in my email inbox that people had sent me asks, and i was happy bc i thought that maybe the person who sent me the fanfic idea responded back with more details. i was anxious about that before, bc i was thinking, oh god what if they just never respond, what if they just dont care about u anymore. when i saw the asks notifications, i felt a lot of relief bc i thought to myself, oh phew ok people still care about u. when i was crying while reading the fanfic, i couldn't stop crying, it felt endless. i couldn't just stop crying like i had before, and it reminded me of the time when my mom was going out to meet someone that she met on a dating app, and it was in the earlier times when she started doing this; she had gotten involved with some terrible men in the past, men who catfished her and were rlly vulgar and gross. im sure this was somewhere in June, when i had just posted chapter 1 of the slytherpuff series bc when i was freaking out about the date, i wrote about it in my journal and i know that it was somewhere in June bc i wrote something like “mom is going out to meet someone and im nervous, please please please i hope shes ok and careful, im really nervous and scared, no one likes my writing, mom is probably in danger, oh god oh gosh”. it was just a whole bunch of negative and anxious thoughts, including how i was feeling about the whole situation with chapter 1, so that's how i know it was somewhere in June. anyways, basically i was really scared for my mom bc shes had a bad history with online men and i was scared that someone was gonna kill her. i read and listen to a lot of murder mysteries, so my mind was going absolutely wild. i remember on that day, i went to take a shower after writing that entry in the journal, bc showering makes me feel better. when i stepped into the shower i started crying bc i was really scared for her and i was hoping she was safe and ok but i was just feeling so scared so i was crying and i couldn't stop crying. that was the scary part because i just kept bawling and i couldn't stop like i usually do; my brain said ok that's enough, you’ve cried enough, but my heart just kept going on and on and my brain said ok ok jessica holy jesus that's enough and eventually i sucked it up and was kinda ok afterwards but still sad and numb. that was similar to what had happened about 20 min ago. also im sure i was also sad today bc yesterday, my mom talked to me about in-person college visits, and her demeanor was very rushed and controlling. she said, “ok jessica we’re gonna do the college visits, we’re gonna drive there, and your dad is gonna come home for that. tell him that you need to do that, ok? tell him we do the college visits together.” i said that colleges are doing virtual tours, and her facial expression was very strained, she was like “DO NOT TELL HIM THAT. dont tell him that, ok?!” and she was pointing her finger at me and everything. she said, “tell him we’re going to do the physical college tours, which colleges do you wanna visit??” and she kept telling me not to tell him about the virtual tours. it reminded me of whenever she told me to say this or that to my dad over the phone, and i was upset, like oh great ok so dad’s coming home and i dont even wanna see him bc i dont like him that much, and now im gonna have to lie bc dad is probably gonna already know about the virtual tours and im gonna have to pretend that none of the colleges are doing virtual tours. in essence, today was a terrible day. while i was crying my eyes out when reading the fanfic, i wanted to tell something, i wanted to reach out to lee and jolie, but my brain said that i would burden them, im always telling them about stuff that happens (concerning my family or other stuff) and its probably getting too much for them. my brain said that they wont be able to help anyway, im still gonna have to deal with the stuff im dealing with, and no one can help. that's a sad thought, it seems so helpless and sad. sometimes i overthink the smallest things, and when i see a text from lee and jolie that doesnt seem “right”, i think, oh gosh they hate me now, why did i have to say that?? i usually see my therapist every Thursday, aka today, but we didnt meet this time bc her schedule is becoming busy so now we’re gonna do it every other week, so next week i shall see her. perhaps she can help.

thank you for this ask, it seemed so out of the blue bc no one rlly sends asks like this anymore. while writing this, i literally thought to myself, shes like an angel sent from heaven

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kaneshiroflms · 5 years

Text

Endgame things and thoughts

Nebula and Tony hanging out was so adorable they have my heart :<

Carol singlehandingly bringing a wholeass ship back to earth ?ugh her mind

Thanos just chilling and cooking and Carol just fucking going for him is poetic cinema

Thor saying “I went for the head”

5 FUCKINF YEARS?!

Scott being saved by a rat? Iconic.

Scott panicking when looking for Cassie’s name then seeing her all grown up and ok was heartbreaking specially knowing he didn’t get to see her grow up

Scott giving all he could to get the others back and trying his best not to breakdown when mentioning Hope

“She’s my.. she was my..”

Scott saying he lost someone very important to him :((

I dont rlly ship them but the Carol and Rhodey interaction was cool of them to reference

Carol and Nat’s hair is sending me

Tony as a father is so adorable and i love morgan already

I’ve read posts saying that Tony rejecting helping them with the time heist was sefish, but he just didn’t want to risk losing the people he loves again. He didn’t want his daughter to lose a father or lose Pepper since him being back was already a second chance for him

Peter being his motivation :((

Morgan is so much like his dad uwu Tony is such a great dad

Valkyrie in midgaurdian clothes

KORG

Thor having a beer belly made the entire theatre gasp lmao

I also think they did him dirty. Specially since he clearly had ptsd and it seemed like they just turned it to a joke

Scott turning into a baby and Tony knowing he turned to a baby lmao

Bruce giving Scott tacos after his first one fell

Scott being friendly to Nebula :<

Scott giving 2012 Tony a cardiac arrest and 2023 Tony shouting for help lmao

“I could do this all day” “I know”

“That’s America’s ass”

Loki mocking steve

Loki’s lil wave at hulk in the elevator :< i miss my bitch

I really thought they’d make the elevator scene a parallel to the one in tws and we’d see a fight again

2012 Steve letting go of 2023 Steve when he told him that Bucky was alive

Steve and Tony in the 70s!

they should’ve had Dominic Cooper play Howard again.

Tony talking to his dad about his daughter

Peggy still having Steve’s photograph just like he has her’s :((

Steve seeing Peggy :((

JARVIS MY MAN

Nat and Clint being happy and giddy in space makes me cry now knowing whats gonna happen next

Peter singing without music lmao

Fuck thanos for hurting both nebulas

When Clint and Nat’s foreheads were together:( i love their friendship

“Please let me go” :(( Natasha deserved better

The fact that this film values family is so sweet

Thor and Frigga’s interaction and Thor saying his last goodbye to Frigga :((

Thor wanting to be the one to hold the gauntlet so he could do something right :<

Clint’s reaction when his wife called

Why does thanos always let the others do his work smh

Cap wielding mjolnir lemme tell u everyone in the theatre sCREAMED

The shot where Steve was ready to fight thanos and his army alone even before he knew the others would come is just-

“On your left”

Everyone who were gone appearing was so powerful

When peter appeared everyone cHEERED

The fact that everyone was there, Wakandans, Wong, the guardians etc iCONIC

“Avengers, assemble.” C h i l l s

Peter telling Tony what happened and tony hugging him

“Oh this is nice”

T’challa finally saying Clint’s name lmao

Captain Marvel’s entrance

Carol really just flew through a fucking battleship and managed to come out without a single scratch

“Hi im peter parker” “hey peter parker, you got something for me?”

HOPE VAN DYNE

“Is that everyone?” “Like you wanted more?”

“I don’t even know who you are” “you will” Amen sister

And the fact that Wanda singlehandedly nearly killed thanos and thanos had to recruit his army cos he got threatened by a woman

When Peter met Gamora and said “I thought I lost you”

Gamora kicking his balls HAHA

The all women scene was so powerful the entire theatre cheered

It upsets me tho that Natasha who brought them together wasn’t there

Hope and scott teaming up again oh god we dont deserve them

Captain marvel going for thanos the second time and when he tried punching her and she didnt flinch

Tony looking at Stephen was the time he knew what was supposed to be done

When tony had the gauntlet

“I’m inevitable” “i am iron man”

Peter going for tony “mr stark, can you hear me? It’s me peter.” “We won Mr. Stark. We won. You did it”

Pepper gently putting peter aside :((

The fact that pepper said “but will u be able to rest” back in their home when tony told her about the time travel thing and while he was slowly dying she told him “it’s okay, you can rest now”

Also when pepper was trying so hard to pull herself together and even said “we’re going to be okay.” And when she gave him a final kiss in the cheek but breaking down when Tony finally died

Tony’s last message while we see Clint reuniting with his family, T’challa, Shuri and Ramonda watching over the city, Hope, Cassie and Scott watching the sky and being happy

When hologram Tony looked at Morgan and said “I love you 3000” :((

the fact that Morgan lost his father at such a young age and that she wouldn’t get to grow up with a father. She probably doesn’t even understand what was going on

Morgan hugging her mom,, she must be so confused

When everyone was there for the funeral :( even Harley

Carol in those pants? G a y

Bucky in that jacket and jeans? Also gay

VALKYRIE AS THE QUEEN OF ASGARD? Iconic

Peter still searching for Gamora :((

“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone” “ur bringing all the stupid with u” THAT REFERENCE

“I’ll miss you” “it’s gonna be alright buck” Bucky knew what Steve was gonna do and that he wouldn’t come back

IM LIVING FOR SAM AS THE NEW CAP

“Wanna tell me about her?” *looks to the view and slowly smiles* “no, i dont think i will” HE CLEARLY HAD A HAPPY LIFE AND HE DESERVES IT

Steve and Peggy looked so happy and content and they deserve it

I still didn’t get why some didn’t like Steve’s arc,, Steve created a different timeline in which he comes back to Peggy and they both chose to get married and live together. So there is a different timeline where Peggy moved on, but in this timeline Steve and Peggy gets to be happy and grow old together. Steve is happy and he deserves to be :)

Also do u guys ever wonder if steve came back to the same date and place Peggy told him when he was about to crash the plane :((

The way the movie ended tho,, when right after we see Steve and Peggy dancing and kissing it cuts to black and the lyrics of the song start as the credits start rolling too. It’s such a beautiful way to conclude the phase :”( they ended it with Steve in the 40s, the very first avenger and the decade it all began.

Also the credits where they had their signatures :((

Anyway thats all thanks for coming to my tedtalk,, also feel free to add some more of ur thoughts from the film :)

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tfw-no-tennis · 3 years

Text

mtmte liveblog issue 22

oooh man, its time to feel some EMOTIONS!

I'm BACK after a hiatus, which was due in part to me getting my 1st dose of the covid vaccine! woohoo!

anyways, starting here w/issue 22....we have a great cover w/thunderclash, the legend himself

oof. the covers made me forget how much I don't like the art this issue...I hate to be mean to the artists but this art style just isn't doin it for me chief

god I love this issue though. the framing device of rewind’s movie is so so fantastic

tailgate listing off all his fake awards/accomplishments....ily

rodimus my boy, you're a prime in my heart

the ‘not a decepticon’ label for cyclonus is so much hvbhkjfbskjf

I literally wanna comment on every single panel bc I love all the characters so much but then id be here forever...that being said whirl ily sm

hvbjdfbhsfjhdfshja BRAINSTORM ‘according to perceptor - ships genius’ hvhdkjhbfhjs ily dumb gay idiot

and then the cut to perceptor after brainstorm like, blew up his lab vjbkdsfnbksjf dude

GODDDDDD drift ‘your name...defines you. it’s your soul expressed in syllables. hm? oh, yes, sorry. it’s drift.’ GOD he’s so fucking funny. I love early story hippy drift

god I cant stop thinking about how good this whole issue would be as an animated show...like, specifically rewinds film, it would be SO FUCKING GOOOOOOD mtmte show WHEN

rewiiiiind ;_; I fuckgin love rewind god. fellow video editing enthusiast....

ohhhh rodimus being embarrassed about his big speech at the beginning of mtmte....my boy I love u so much

gjhnbgehjsrkfbjksf magnus being suspicious of rewind oh my god. magnus ily but please, look at the lil guy, he’s a good boy, most of the time

the fuckgin footage that magnus removed hbvhakjbfhskf god. wasn't that intended to be footage of magnus dancing? I love him

minibot squad.....

and here it begins, the mystery stick rung question...

poor rung oh my god he’s just trying to polish his lil spaceship and people r throwing shit at him. taking Ls as per usual it seems

hand grenade tag hvbfjksdnfbkjdf love that callback

noooo rungs ship :(

magnus’s censorship vhbhadkjfhdbhjsakjhfn

oh man I forgot about how they met that race of Transformers But More

the one-upsmanship hbvkajsbehfjks

whirrrrrl lmao I love whirl sm

goddddd whirl just killing that other alien and ending the 16 million yr long civil war bvkjsdbfhjjkafs so fucking much

oh god oh god the ‘are you happy’ page, I'm not emotionally equipped to handle this like, ever

but I will say I feel like it would be EVEN MORE oof if it were milne or someone drawing it bc I feel like this art style takes away from some of the impact bc the expressions aren't really that...expressive? idk how to put it

anyways. every single answer destroys me!!! like even the happy ones, like chromedome and rewind and tailgate - well, in present time, none of those three are doing so hot, so that makes this just hurt

and rung....that is so fucking depressing. jesus. this guy is so fuckng sad, somebody get him a friend stat

and swerve...ouch. this readthru I've really noticed how much early-mtmte swerve is not-so-subtly like, crying out for help bc he’s so alone and shit. jesus

also brainstorms response is just plain ole sad w/context, but at this point in the story without context, it just seems very foreboding lmao. I'm realizing this readthru that brainstorm is very sketchy and ominous in a particular ‘is he evil?’ mad scientist sorta way in early mtmte

and then everyone else is also just so OOF in their own unique sad ways, but I think the worst out of everyone is drift....GODDDDDD. especially considering that at this point in the story, drift is this kinda goofy hippy guy, so seeing him just sit there with his face in his hand, not even answering the question...AND knowing that shortly after this he’ll end up banished...IT FUCKING HURTS M8!

meanwhile, the more upbeat ‘quest to see rungs alt mode’ continues...with an ‘alt mode party’ vhbadkjsdfnabskjf it looks so silly with a bunch of cars just sitting around a table lmao

I cant even tell who everyone is bc they so rarely turn into cars n shit lmaoooooo

rodimus with the bucket on his head hbvhakjbfskjf I CANT

everyone’s reactions to thunderclash...i fucking love it

the fact that TAILGATE doesn't hate him, even though we’ve seen that tailgate tends to dislike people who are universally liked/who have achieved a lot of impressive things

rodimus you petty thot vbdkjbfdjhsakjdf ily

RODIMUS IS SO FUNNYYYYYY ‘I'm not making all these sacrifices and leading these guys into battle and being inspirational - I'm not doing that because it makes me look good’ RODIMUS VBHSKJDFNBKSJF

thunderclash talking about magnus’s article on typefaces....hdbksjfsdbkjgfb bro

AND THEN MAGNUS HUGS HIM....HGBSKJFDSHFKD I CANT

POOR DRIFT bvhajkdfbhjkjsfd rodimus saying he ‘rehabilitated him’ oh my god

the whole spectralism thing...im sorry I cant get over how funny all this is vbakdjfbksjf thunderclash rlly b out here charming rodimus’s entire crew

and then ratchet comes in, calling tc ‘thunders,’ and tc immediately notices ratchets new hands (somehow) hvbkjfhbskjf truly amazing

it cracks me up that rodimus is all 😒😒 at thunderclash, even though as we come to find out, tc really IS That Perfect, and him complimenting rodimus isn't sarcasm at all lmao

AND THEYRE LOOKING FOR THE KNIGHTS OF CYBERTRON TOO HVSDHFJBSHKHDFJS OF COURSE

the vis vitalis being a life support machine spaceship is a really cool concept tho

‘rescuing some orphans from an exploding sun’ I fucking cant

evil guy: [holds a gun to thunderclash’s head]

rodimus: :D finally something doesn't go his way!

he’s so petty I’m..........dkdjhfdabhduifadijgl

and its the aliens from earlier! oooh

GODDD I forgot that swerve used rung in mystery stick mode to SCHWACK the guy

rung casually dropping the fact that the functionists like, experimented on him...there's a lot of implications there, and that'll certainly be explored more later...

the fact that his ID card says ‘rong’ hvbhjakhdsbfakhsjfn

oughufadkfujbsfk the circle of light throwing wrenches n shit at skids...guys cmon vbhsdjkfnslfd

the circle of light is like ‘wtf you all have trauma and a bunch of weird unhealthy coping mechanisms this is wack byeeeee’ lmao

skids calling the lost light his home is rlly sweet tho

cant believe the religious space hippy cult is being so rude about a film made by a guy who died like a week ago. unreal

cd finally figured out how to make the pffft sound, good for him

AUGHHHHH the fact that rewind used ‘little victories’ as the title of the film and that's something that chromedome said in the video ;_; I'm fucking inconsolable

rodimus, despite his obvious posturing for the camera during the whole issue, comes off as surprisingly genuine when he says that he hasn't thought about his own future much, but wants the crew to have a happy ending....im gonna cry

‘who knows what's around the corner?’ tailgate, PLEASE don't say that, oh my god,

OUGHHHH GROUP SHOT

OHHH mannnnNNNNN i love this issue SO MUCH. what a good fun emotional rollercoaster wrap-up to mtmte s1. god.

like, this issue has it all - humor, drama, crippling sadness, intrigue, worldbuilding...it’s so excellent

and getting to see rewind again hurts so bad but also I love him

ok quick mtmte s1 retrospective...god s1 is so fucking good. I'm gonna have to read more to say which chunk of mtmte I liked best but s1 is so fucking excellent that it might be my favorite. though its hard to pick bc there's so much good stuff later on too...whatever, the point is s1 is so so good

the plotlines and characters are fucking stellar. like I cant even believe how well Everything works, its very impressive. I cant really think of anything major that made me go ‘yeah could've done without that plotline/character’

I love how dedicated jro is to connecting everything. I've mentioned it before but basically every single moment in the series has payoff - what you initially think is just a funny moment, or a fluffy character establishment bit, ends up ALSO being an important plot point later, in some way

an example would be here w/rung and his alt mode - it just seems like a fun little B-plot for this issue, and seems to pretty neatly conclude with the reveal that rung was eventually classified as an ‘ornament’ (lmao)...but we later on get to see a lot more about this, both here and in the functionist universe

and like, stuff like tailgate’s autobot lessons w/magnus - at first that can be seen as purely character establishment stuff, showing that magnus is a strict rule-lover and tg is a loveable try-hard good boy - but that becomes plot relevant in remain in light, with tailgate saving the day due to his knowledge of the autobot code (and its also character relevant, with magnus’s arc in remain in light).

and I know this is like. a normal regular thing in writing, but I'm just very impressed about how cleanly jro pulls it off, and how many things he’s juggling at once, especially in early mtmte - it’s very ambitious!

and we gotta remember, this is a comic book. I've read a lot of comic books, and the quality is all over the place. a lot of writers bite off more than they can chew, and the story ends up kinda scattered as a result.

another thing I see a lot in franchise writing like this is a lack of strong early character establishing due to the author assuming the readers are at least somewhat familiar with the characters already - which can be totally fair depending on where it is in the continuity, but other times it can come off as lazy

in mtmte, the cast is extremely well fleshed out, and not only that, the cast itself is unique in that there are a lot of relative unknowns (franchise-wise) - which I think was an absolutely brilliant move, because then jro was able to essentially create The Definitive Version of these characters - characters like swerve, brainstorm, chromedome, rewind, tailgate...mtmte is their baseline characterization, because they haven't really appeared in much else

this also allows for deviation from the franchise norms - again, a comic book classic is good writing being stifled by a need to stick to a certain status quo regard the characters, the world, the powers, relationships, etc

(I've mostly read DC comics, and some marvel, so I'm thinking superheroes w/all these comic comparisons)

so mtmte had a good recipe for genuine creativity in that the characters were relative unknowns, the plot was basically ‘space road trip,’ the status quo of ‘autobot vs decepticon war’ had been demolished throughout the entire franchise...so jro was able to take all that and run, and it turned out so fantastic

and luckily it isn't over yet! so many comics suffer from premature cancellation...and sadly mtmte/ll isn't exempt from this, as we’ll see later, but I've seen some awful ones, where comics are forced to wrap up in like 2 issues while in the middle of an arc. yikes.

but another comic staple...one of my least favorite things about comics books in general...something that was basically responsible for driving me away from comics after reading a bunch...the dreaded crossover event

yep, even mtmte isn't immune to this unfortunate plague on the comic industry. crossover events are the absolute worst, and I'm saying this as somebody who adores crossovers (in concept more than execution usually). they SHOULD be my favorite, but unfortunately they p much always completely suck

they're essentially a ploy to get you to read the other ongoing titles, but they usually only serve to bog down whatever story you're reading to the point where you don't even wanna read that one anymore, let alone read all the other ongoings. at least, that’s been my experience

it doesn't help that reading orders tend to be hard to find/keep track of, and that you need to go read the other series to know what's going on. I just hate it, like, I came here to read THIS series, I don't want a bunch of other series showing up too - even if I was reading two series, I wouldn't want them crossed over, because they're separate stories! augh!

I'm totally losing my focus here but my point is...crossover events suck, and mtmte unfortunately is involved in one. I have not read dark cybertron, and I'm not about to. I've heard nothing but bad things so I have no desire to inflict that upon myself

soooo ill be reading through the tfwiki articles for those issues to give myself a better understanding of what went on - which is more than I've ever done in the past - and maybe ill even make a single post summarizing my thoughts on what I read in the wiki, lmao

but yea ill be skipping to the mtmte s2 stuff next

phew ok I'm super tired, my vision keeps blurring out and stuff lmao. its time for bed, I probably have more thoughts but ill save them for later. for now...peace out!

#lj rereads mtmte

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bucksbisexual · 4 years

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAA OKAY LAST ONE OF MY OPINION POSTS HERE GOES EP12:

[breathes in]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i’m so fucking happy with this ending

it’s such a good happy ending this is truly what the gays deserve i’m just happiness in physical form rn

i don’t even know where to start but i’ll try to make this as chronological as my brain allows me because my memory do be sucking

i’m gonna put a keep reading because this shit will get loooooong kjshfkf okay let’s do this

so.. we start with PETE EXPOSING NON(T)’S BRAT ASS!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YES THATS MY BABY THATS MY BOY!!!!!!!!!!

kao’s mom being a fucking badass and telling her BOSS how to do shit. i love her yall I LOVE HERRRRRRRR

also kao’s mom telling kao that she wasn’t the most amazing person ever was so cute because you can see kao’s light bulb turning on sjfkhsgsh please i love them

yes i will say i love x after every single one of these u can’t stop me

from the teaser i thought kao would dashi run run run to pete’s house but thankfully he took a taxi lmao

at least he didn’t run there because he had to run from pete’s house (or may i say, mansion) to the POOL my man is a whole athlete oh my god

KAO YELLING HE LOVES PETE!!!!!!!!!!! IN THE MIDDLE OF A CLOSED SPACE WITH PEOPLE IN IT!!!!!!!!!!!! AND HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK IF THEY HEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THATS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT BABYYYYYYYY

also a beautiful parallel to the scene from ep1 (i noticed there’s a lot of parallels in this episode we stan character development and repeating things just so the viewers can see how consistent the couples are)

the kiss from that scene............... beautiful amazing gorgeous idk many words in english to describe how i felt while watching and how i feel about it

to that i think we cut to sunmork but i don’t remember what happened because of the kiss KJHFKSL SORRY

anygays i rlly like how this whole episode is sun being a clingy bih and mork gay panicking while trying to act like a confident gay when he knows that sun outconfidentgays him i love them lmao

okay after that i think it’s petekao having food with their parents all together and god i looooooove this scene

pete’s dad being the lgbt ally dad all of us lgbt fellas with homo/transphobic dads wish we had will never fail to make me soft i love that man pls be my dad too

also kao’s mom :-(( i love her she respected her son’s decision on not coming out until he was ready even though she already smelled it (reminds me of my mom lmao) and was always there for him even when kao didn’t say anything :-(((((((((((

petekao bickering will never get old i swear i love every time they do because that’s so..... men it makes their characters more real

i know there’s a lot (not that much because i admit this episode was kinda short?? idk maybe it’s just me) between that scene and this one but THE SQUAD EATING ALL TOGETHER AGAIN!!!!!!!! AND THEM TEASING PETEKAO!!!!!! PLEASE I LOVE THEM

pete literally not knowing how to stop the audio and broadcasting live TO THE WHOLE COUNTRY that time when he told kao he loved him through the teddy bear...... peak pete culture

the fact that ppl love them and they have a whole hashtag on twitter makes me soft because usually when someone is famous in bls the fans hate the other part of the couple but in this one??? oh no honey we stan petekao in this household hate is not allowed it’s actually prohibited illegal

okay let me backtrack a bit skjfhsjf

OH YES I FORGOT!!!! manow wanting to talk with mork was so weird when i saw the teaser for the episode but after seeing them talk i was like oooooh okay i understand

sun saying “what’s your girl saying to my boy” is probably one of my favourite lines of this drama KLHSJFLF

rain reading their lips fskjfjsf and when mork said “fuck you rain” HIS FACE SKJFHKSJSLFJ HE WAS SCARED SHITLESS but also the end of this scene was so cute i love these three

i just did a bit of skipping through the episode to try and actual make an order out of this mess and the petekao+parents thing comes now,,,,,, anygaYS

then it’s more teasing between sunmork blah blah

then MORK SPEAKING THE MF TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!! quoting the actual dialogue “it’s my choice to tell or not tell anyone. i should get to decide”

OUTING SOMEONE ISN’T COOL!!!!!!! IT’S NOT OKAY!!!!!!!!!!! NO LGBT PERSON WILL EVER WANT TO BE OUTED!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON’T DO THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rain had good intentions but it doesn’t mean that it was right of him to do so

okay this got serious,, sun going to rain’s bed with not one but Two pillows when barely two people fit in that bed.... oh to be that iconic and carelessly gay

back to petekao because we will never get enough of these two (which is why i’ll probably watch the our skyy episode tomorrow just to cry over these fools)

it’s so weird to see tay being like this after watching him being himself in other things like the live lunch and taynew meal date and other things i’ve randomly watched during this week to retain myself from finishing this series in a night ksfjhsfkshlks

also kao helping pete shave and pete being like do u like my moustache or should i shave it for u my lord SFHKFJ the domesticity and just the feeling of two idiots being in love i love them with my whole heart

kao staying at pete’s house because it’s both of their first days as interns and kao!!!!! he works for pete’s dad!!!!!!! pete’s dad accepted him into his company!!!!!! i love them

also the bickering between those three sjfkhs “hello im pete im from thailand” “that’s all you’ll say today” THAT WAS SO FUNNNY SKJFHSKFHSFJSFL

THE MESSAGE IN THE TEDDY BEAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KAO CALLING PETE LOVE PLEASE IM GONNA CRYYYYYYYYYYYY I LOVE THESE FOOLS

okay so the squad eating together is right after this but i already talked about it ksjfhsfh next!!

idk if it’s a big time skip or a small one but guess what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MANOW AND RAIN ARE DATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY STRAIGHT BABIES YES I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU AAAAAAAAAAAAA

manow is so pretty and rain is so cute they’re both so lucky my bisexual ass is crying

pete being “angry” at kao being so handsome,,, a mood

but also.. pete being possessive was h*t

there i said it and i don’t regret it

random but i will miss kao’s annoying ass saying “about aboyz” sjfkhsfh

pete being like “i will have to give u more love bites (ffs gmmtv just say hickies we are all at an age where we know what love bites are) so no one flirts with u” and kao being like “bitch try me” sjfhksfj i’m loving bratty kao

also that scene turned into furry kao real quick KJHDKJFSHJF

okay now it’s: mork’s birthday party time!!

rain and manow arrive first and are the cutest couple around because the two main gays haven’t arrived yet (being gay AND punctual? not possible)

sun and rain fighting in the kitchen was peak siblings culture skfhksjf

mork being ready to leave his own birthday party with a stranger who also plays pokemon go just to have a battle................ dumbass bisexual energy

said stranger is eARN FROM 2GETHER!!!!!! FILM IS IN THIS TOO!!!!!!!! first the girl who plays yuri in yyy and now film who plays earn in 2gether is here too??? damn wlw keep winning (also headcanon: theyre dating/seeing each other because LESBIANS periodt)

okay petekao arrive and wont u guess whats their present for mork,,,,,, the mf TEDDY BEAR and kao rlly says that they should use it since theyre so lip sealed lmao

rain and manow literally gave mork a present not for him but for sun im- i love these two

MORK FINALLY SAID YES TO BEING BOYFRIENDS OH MY GOD DUDE U ACTUALLY HAD ME WORRIED THERE FOR A SEC

also sun being a whole koala and being a horny bitch is so funny sfhskfjskl my man has his priorities set

their last scene is so cute :-(( poor rain will have to live with this until he moves out sjfhksjf

oh boi the ending is near hhhhhhh

kao teaching his class an equation that ends up in i < 3 u is the most kao thing i’ve ever seen

also kAO IS BOOKED AND BUSY BABYYYYYYYYYY GET THOSE COINS HONEY

pete being like “u haven’t spent enough time with me lately >:-(” was cute jhkfjs my man is needy of kao and i understand that because have u seen kao? exactly

kao teasing him with not having forgotten the cup this time and pete being his possessive self was.. splendid

every reference to something that happened with non(t) hurts but also i love how they just tease each other because they know that now their relationship is stronger than it’s ever been and that nothing and no one will come between them

the scenes they show during the last last scenes :-((( BOYFIES!!!!!!

and i love how they decided to end the show with them holding hands in public

i would explain why i do but it’s 6:26 am and i’ve been writing this for at least half an hour already and my laptop is heating up a lot and im sweating because it’s hot in here so get down on the floor pipiipipipipipipi

kdjhkdfhs sorry im not sleepy this is just my brain without a filter it’s just gay shit and a big repertoire of songs

god okay that was my opinion on the last episode of dark blue kiss...........

needless to say that i will eat every bit of content related to petekao after this because writing this i already miss them and i can’t wait to watch our skyy tomorrow idk where but i will

i really really REALLY liked this drama and it’s one of the two bl dramas (not counting the untamed) i’ve given a full 10/10 rating on mdl because it’s THAT good

everything about this drama is just.. chef’s kiss i love it i will probably rewatch it when my plan to watch is empty but it’s a pretty long list so.. hopefully i’ll ignore that and just rewatch sjkfhslf

i’ll of course watch kiss and kiss me again just for the petekao, the squad and rain scrumbs because i’m sure that the petekao compilations don’t show everything

but yeah im just.. i love this show it’s been a rlly long time since i started writing this but i’m still happy because it’s so good and truly gave us a good happy ending and i swear i cannot emphasise enough how important good happy endings in lgbt media are!!!!!!!!!!

anygays im hungry and ready to submerge myself in the dbk tags, see u all tomorrow for my our skyy petekao episode version of this,,,,,

till then, stay safe ! bYE

#dark blue kiss #dbk the series #dbk #dbk reaction

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inosukeslefttoe · 3 years

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g-guhh... i watched this movie the other weekend and i wanted to rewatch it again before posting anything but like.. homie i honestly dont think my heart can take that lol

so from the aspect of like,, the amount of buildup and quality of the development of relationships and characters and just overall emotional-ness of the movie compared to the anime, clearly the anime is superior... HOWEVER.... this one decided to completely bypass the part of my heart dedicated for anime feelings and just jab right into the part that made me feel genuine heartbreak. so like,, i might be projecting my own feelings n experiences onto this a bit too much but i just gotta talk about it hehe

obviously ugetsu and akihiko had some super mixed up feelings towards each other that made their relationship super toxic and i just wanna talk about the complexity of those feelings and why i think they felt how they did.

so i think that one of the biggest reasons they stayed together in their on and off sort of thing was because they were each others first loves. i believe akihiko mentioned that he moved in with ugetsu before he got the chance to live alone or smthn like that,, and they basically started their adult lives knowing nothing but each other. they were still developing as ppl and finding their own way as adults,, but before they were allowed to fully mature, they fell in love and fell into this almost codependent relationship where it was hard to imagine themselves without each other bc at this point,, all they knew was each other.

another reason they fell in love was because of their shared passion for music and for the violin specifically !! but i also think that this is one of the major things that caused their downfall. i think that they ended up putting too much of their relationship onto that shared passion so it was no longer like,, something individual to each of them,, it was no longer about their individual passion for their craft but something that was holding together their relationship. and sure, having something so strong connecting two people can be wonderful, but it can also be harmful if it takes something so personal and unique to each person and is suddenly forcing it to be glue holding them to each other that leaves little room for their own expression if that makes sense.

i think this shared love of music was also causing akihiko to feel like he was living in ugetsus shadow. and honestly, when u have a partner who is just so perfect at everything they do and u cant seem to catch up to them, it becomes rlly exhausting. akihiko didnt want his partner to see him as lesser or to pity him or act condescendingly seeing him struggle to catch up to his own talents so i think that could be part of what drove akihiko away from the violin. aside from this,, i think that since akihiko fell in love with ugestu due to his epic violin skills, he started associating the violin super strongly to ugetsu and no longer felt like it was an extension of himself,, but just something to relate to his partner who he also felt was far superior to him in this subject. as long as ugetsu was in his life, the violin would only ever remind akihiko of his partner and it could never be regained as something personal and expressive of himself.

uhhh i think thats all i wanna talk about for rn regarding why their relationship got so messed up but like,,, i would also like to be emo about ugetsu for a second lmao

i just... when he was talking to mafuyu about how he was just sitting there waiting for akihiko to come home... how it seemed like he was talking less about their apartment and more like himself... UGH IM GONNA CRY BRO THAT FEELING WHEN U THINK SOMEONE IS UR HOME AND U THINK UR THEIRS BUT UR BOTH JUST MESSED UP AND TRAPPED IN A BROKEN HOME.... and also how he was clearly not having any of his needs satisfied by akihiko and would yknow have sex w other ppl and stuff but still go back to akihiko and it was clear that nothing rlly meant anything to ugetsu without him... god my feelings pls... HHH AND THE SCENE WHERE AKIHIKO WALKED AWAY FOR GOOD.... FUCK DUDE IM GONNA CRY THINKING ABOUT IT... it just hurt so bad to see that akihiko had matured and was so easily letting go of ugetsu for the final time and yeah that was fuckin awesome for him and im rlly happy he had the strength and development to do that... BUT... u can tell that ugetsu didnt have that maturity... and u could just see the panic and heartbreak and just overwhelming emotions that he was seeing like dude i could fucking hear every voice in ugetsus head just screaming at akihiko to come back to him and hold him one more time ... but he couldnt say anything. he looked so lost. he hadnt known anything aside from akihiko ,, and his passion for music was still strongly connected to their love so i imagine that at this point he genuinely felt that he had nothing. not even himself. the entire person that he built himself up to be was always leaning on akihiko since theyd grown so much together and akihiko had always been something constant in his life to where things didnt mean much without him. and suddenly he was just,, gone. and he took every part of ugetsu with him. at this point im probably projecting more than analyzing, but this was just my take on their feelings and that specific scene. it was very very good that the two cut contact and are working to better themselves, and i know that they both knew that, but their whole situation was just. so fucking heartbreaking. and something extremely hard to do in that sort of codependent toxic relationship...

OKAY THAT WILL BE ALL BEFORE I CRY LOL BUT I HOPE IT MADE SENSE !!

#given #given ugetsu #given akihiko #akihiko x ugetsu #given the movie #yaoi #heartbreak #codependency #anime review

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